Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #481

Episode Date: March 13, 2020

In this week's PKA, the friend of the show Boogie2988 is back on to discuss the drama he's recently gotten into and why he keeps stepping in it with his self-destructive ways, Kyle talks more about prison and the guys run through some hypothetical prison situations/questions, and of course dabble in the 2020 Democratic Primary gaffs while lightly touching on coronavirus. Because it's PKA and we like to dip our toe into every bit of soup you got.

pka episode 481 with our guest boogie 2988 kyle hey it's been a while yeah a couple sponsors tonight post mace magic spoon and smart mouth but yeah i got boogie back boogie i was reading your article in newsweek magazine oh yeah that was a mistake wasn't it was it tell me i don't know i just like i don't know catch me up i i don't know anything about this you got interviewed for about your channel about about your career on YouTube. What was it about? So basically, if you guys have been following my career since last time I was on the show, I've been self-destructing pretty impressively.

Cool. Like I not intentionally, just I'm not well mentally. And so not even with drugs like a rock star, just right. Right. No, I mean mean i'm on a lot of antidepressants and heart pills and stuff like that actually but i uh i've said some pretty outlandish shit um and just like said like the probably the dumbest thing i said i said that the people who harass people like me and wings and and like um uh dark side phil they were worse

than nazis and rapists like that was a stupid thing to say. I meant it as hyperbole, obviously. What's worse than a rapist? Nothing. What's worse than a Nazi? Nothing. People that pick on me are worse than them. People that pick on me, I'll come out and say it. In my new article. I genuinely... You can't say stupid shit. Obviously, number one, that's not true.

Number two, even if I mean it as hyperbole, which I did, nobody's going to get that. They're going to take that and run with it. I don't know and then like there's just been like always double down always double down i did what would trump do and so like i don't know between that like the fucking tesla thing and like all this other stupid shit basically i've over the last two months i've really kind of withdrawn from the internet stopped being on twitter as much stopped doing on Twitter as much, stopped doing the stuff as much.

And what's really interesting is my mental space has gotten a lot better as the further away I pulled away from it. Cause those people are still doing the same stuff and saying the same stuff and like taking out of context. But I finally took the advice that Keemstar, Kit behind the camera, Jugger Nuggets, Woody,

every person I know gave me, which is block that shit out. Don't respond to it. But in order to do that, I had to make like one last video. And that's what the news article was about. I made like one last video and I'm like, look, these are the people that are criticizing me. If you think they are good people, then we're going to have to agree to disagree. But I don't like they're, they're not great either. Nobody's great. We all kind of suck. Um, and like, maybe we just need to accept that about ourselves. And I think we're on our path to doing that for the record like most of the people that are

listening to this right now you're probably aware that you're not perfect nobody on this show is perfect i'm pretty far from fucking perfect right uh we've all made our mistakes we've all said stupid shit we've all done stupid shit and like i think we're finally getting to a point where outrage culture is going to grind to a halt in the next two years, three years, maybe. Oh, shit, dude. No, it's amping up. It's going to be amping up. When Trump gets reelected, it's going to be doubling down from.

I feel like you've owned too much responsibility for you getting bullied. I watched your video and you're like, here's where I made my big mistake. Right. I mentioned what a person said about me. I kept him anonymous. I cut his name out. But what a dick I am. Really?

Well, OK, but that's what that's that's about. He's a dick. Yeah, that's what it is about me. It comes across as like pandering and fake that I actually care. Right. Because like the people, most people would not give a shit about that guy. You probably don't want to give a shit about the guy. give a shit about the guy i genuinely do like i want him to have a happy life i don't want to make his life any worse i wish that he could be a happy

person he's clearly not i hate that i make a piece of shit right well but that's just not me but that comes across as fake but you know i don't know i don't know i do genuinely care about the people was it this one tweet you were saying or was that an example where you're like, Oh, these assholes are worse than a fucking Stalin and Hitler or something. Every. So what really started like this one particular guy, hi,

he knows he's listening. Um, what started really particular guy who was a fan of mine. He got frustrated with the fact that it wasn't losing weight. I kept trying and I kept failing. He didn't believe I was trying at all. Um, and he felt that I was lying to people and manipulating people and trying to get money because I wasn't actually losing weight. And so one day he accused me of that on my subreddit and I clipped part of it out and I showed it on Twitter. And it's like,

this is the kind of crazy shit I'm dealing with. And since then he's dedicated like a subreddit that he runs to, uh, picking me apart and and looking at every bad thing I've ever done and trying to make me accountable for every stupid and dumb thing I've ever said. And I'll gladly admit I've said and done some stupid shit. But it kind of paints a picture of someone I'm not when you put it all together. But I guess, I don't know, maybe I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe I'm not the greatest person in the world. I know I'm not that. I've always kind of loathed myself, but I've always had this del know, maybe I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe I'm not the greatest person in the world. I know I'm not that. I've always kind of loathed myself, but I've always had this delusion like maybe I'm not worse than other people. These people are getting way too, these shit posters are getting way too into your psyche, man.

Like you're second guessing your own intentions on things you wrote. It's like you were trying to be funny and make a little hyperbolic jab. Like that should be all it is. But if like it's like give a mouse a cookie. You say i'm a piece of shit i'm this i'm that that guy's gonna take that if he's that obsessed with you and he's gonna run it back through the mill and go what else can i make him feel bad for huh well right like this thing really isn't that bad but i could try and get him like this conversation will be by

a good group of people i mean a large group of people are going to pick every word of this out look at every combination of two words every combination of three words every combination of four words to see what can be taken as proof and taken as con out of context and and also if i actually say or do something stupid they'll use that too obviously um and it's just it's kind of weird that people want to do that with their lives because i'm not anybody important i'm just some asshole on the internet i'm not logan paul i'm not jake paul i'm not i'm just some fucking random asshole whose career is pretty much over at this point so what's the point in kicking me when i'm down i don't get it but whatever i

i'm like the last guy to give you this advice because i i i have my own what's the opposite of a honey badger the kitten you know i i've oscillated back and forth from honey badger mode to i don't know beaten puppy mode or something like forth from honey badger mode to i don't know beaten puppy mode or something like that the honey badger mode is the way to go you let them know that it's getting you and it fuels them but man i i could see it in you i could see it like they they've hurt your feelings now you're walking on eggshells which is exactly what they want anyone who has this job and we've got roughly the same job, you talk into a microphone for 3,000 hours, there'll be some stupid

shit. There's no doubt they could put a highlight reel on anyone who has this job. I defy you to find one thing. The biggest issue is... Roll the montage. You have to realize I'm the perfect lol cow because i don't know what that means help me a lol cow is a guy who harass online for what they would they consider milk think a classic chris chan from 4chan right they continue to fuck with wings is definitely in the

category i mean most of us are i think there's probably a thread about everybody that's in this podcast right now certainly right um but i'm the perfect lol cal in that i do care i do want to respond i do want to fix it i do want to help them and that shit will keep me up at night and so like the the you know never say that about what trolls are doing to you it's already they've known that for years and so so like, I'm the perfect target. Like, for example, I used to stream five nights a week.

Right. And like, they're, they're like, well, you're doing it for the money. Well, of course that's part of why I'm doing it.

I'm a human being. I like money. I use it. The response to that is no shit, retard. This is like a charity, but it also wasn't why I was doing it. Cause I have savings.

I have money. So I just quit streaming. I stream like once or twice a month. Now it sucks for the people who love to watch me stream, but it's good for my career. I'm not speaking for three hours a night, so I'm not going to say something stupid. I don't have an opportunity to be an idiot. And I'm not making that money, but who cares? Because it was never about the money to begin with. It was partly right. I've seen this before too, where they say like, maybe you had five motivations for streaming.

Maybe you enjoyed the company of your stream. Maybe you like video games. Maybe it's a chance to give back to your viewers and you make money. And they hear, they just pick the one they hate the most and say, that's the true reason that happens all the time. I've been going back. I've been leaning back into streaming a little bit. And every time I do,

I've streamed on YouTube a few times. I've streamed on Twitch a few times. And every time I i do i am really on eggshells because i'm like man if i say something even slightly wrong tonight it could make a it can make news week for fuck's sakes right like that's the position i'm in but it's also do it um but then it's also like um it's it's it's also really rewarding because my fans do really give a shit and they're getting to sit there with me for two hours and play jackbox party games with me and do that stuff is really rewarding for them and i've got to stop putting my needs first and and maybe try to even out there's a way that i can meet my own needs and meet their needs at the same time so i'm trying

to figure that out stream as often as i can you should be looking to meet your own needs and let the chips fall where they may like if it's making you miserable and feel shitty all the time then don't do it but you could also just hop on be yourself talk shit have fun and sure a lot of people might talk shit and then leave and be mean to you but like you'll have a better community afterward for it i would imagine i want to add to what taylor said it is a super powerful response when everyone is attacking you you just keep your chin up and do whatever the fuck you want you know like hey this is me i'm not you know but do what you will i'm still me i've become even more sexist even have you noticed have you noticed i'm wearing the classic francis

goatee today i did this for a youtube video that i filmed tonight it's going to be called breaking boogie if you haven't checked out my channel in a while i've been dealing in narrative there's three videos that you have to see that goes along with one i'm bringing out next week um i did a quitting youtube video it's all that followed by creating my own smash room video um and then like a smaller one in there where i went to a smash room to feel it out no narrative in that and then this is the narrative part where i embrace the bad guy part like you know everybody's told me i should do just pour kombucha on myself and become onision and make a million dollars like he's going to this year um like everybody tells me just go that route just just be a spectacle just be the be the thing that the clown people want you to be cash out make a million dollars walk away i don't want to do that but i feel like there's a narrative way to do it where it's obviously a narrative

onision's like actually a bad person right oh yeah yeah absolutely well so i've tried to look into it and the last thing i'm going to do is defend onision but he's never broken the law as far as i can tell but what he absolutely does is he has a very bad taste for very young women which is super insane to me like 16 17 18 that stuff is insane to me i can't even fathom it and then on top of that he definitely is not good at ending relationships because he will like make a video burning the bridge as much as possible saying everyone he's ever worked with this human garbage and he's not and so when greg does like it's there's no argument that greg is not a great fucking person i think i saw him throwing things at a girl oh yeah right right like that that was when i finally was like okay fuck him it's like he the

girl was at a uh in front of a green screen and i think it was the first girl he dated i can't remember her name shiloh maybe and like he was throwing stuff at her and saying it's so sad no one will ever know how abused you are and i'm like it's food right like i think so like gummy right but like at that point i'm like even in jest i don't know why you would say that shit i can't even fathom like that doesn't even like sound like a sarcastic thing you should say so i was kind of like completely done with the man at that point we all know videos can be fake but that didn't I didn't spot that as a fake. And she seemed really hurt. Is this Onision you're talking about?

Is this some other person? Oh, so his name is Onision? Onision? Maybe I mispronounce it. And he's a YouTuber. I don't know what he was before. I've seen clips of him like spurging out on Twitter, but I have no idea what the fuck he does. I will tell you that he's laughing all the way to the bank right now.

have no idea what the fuck he does. I will tell you that he's laughing all the way to the bank right now because his channel before all this Chris Henson shit and before all this Repzion shit and for all of these people started really giving him a lot of attention. His channel was down to like 10,000 views a video. His channel is down like 300,000 views a month. He was done. He was like going to have to get a real job or live off his investments kind of done. And then Chris Henson walked into his life and now the guy's going to make six figures this year, maybe seven. What did Chris Hansen do to him? Say like, Hey, you're throwing stuff at your girlfriend or something. He interviewed a girl. I think her name was Sarah and Sarah gave a firsthand account about how Greg was talking to her and she was very, very young. And like, as soon as she was

of a age that Greg thought was was okay like i guess they pursued him and then there's something about a laptop which i never really understood and i i don't really know i don't really it definitely paints a very bad picture yeah if it was just one accusation from one person that's one thing but there's like i think what they call the onision widows and there's just like a large group of women who all tell the same story. Former Haram. Yeah. It sounds like a cool guy.

Yeah. It seems he's exchanging nude photos when the girl's 14 and he started grooming her at 13. That sounds illegal. So like actual pedophile shit. Well, okay. So I had,

allegedly, he be GB file. I want to put this out there. All I saw on newsweek, by the way. All I saw was him dating like 16-year-olds. You know when you're 16, you can consent to much older people? I thought he was doing that,

but I'm not sure. I think in the state that he's in, 16 is the legal age because he's up in Washington, so I've heard that as a defense that he's used. And he also will not have... I don't think he's had sex with a 16 year old girl I think he's always waited till they're 18 or something like that like you know me I'm always going to try to look into it as much as I can and try to get the actual facts and the actual information and the actual

truth and once you have all of that about Greg he's still not a very good person yeah no matter 15 he was 30 it seems like you can go even harsher than that you can you can go so far as to say he's a bad person not just not so good this guy seems like he's i mean i mean admittedly two years ago i dated a 20 year old you know we all know about how that turned out yeah that's cool right i feel like you gotta be texting that girl when she was 13 like grooming her and doing yeah you know here's the thing about a girl that's younger than the age of 20. Like a 19-year-old or 18-year-old, 17,

got anything younger than that. They know literally fucking nothing. They think they know stuff, but they know nothing. A 19-year-old girl, a 20-year-old girl, honestly, thinks they know shit and they don't know shit. 20-year-old boy thinks he knows shit. He doesn't know shit. We're fucking stupid at 20.

Who finds that appealing? Who finds that attractive? I got a question for you. Because their minds are molded whatever you want what's with some of the self-destructive stuff like i i tried it i think eight months ago i i saw you on twitch oh going back on your band and humping a pillow and this is at a time when you knew people were taking everything you didn't send and using it against you and even a guy like me whose filter is not as fine as i wish it was right would have to be going into that knowing that it's going to cause problems for future me like so there's there's three schools of thought in my brain the first of which is this is my sense of humor so it's got to be other people's sense of humor too i just watched this documentary about the d Dana Carvey show and like how it was like super off kilter and how it's sure, sure,

sure. Didn't fit ABC news, right? That kind of is still my sense of humor. I love an absurdist, edgy sense of humor. So the idea of getting on my bed and humping it, like, uh, there was a hooker underneath me was me sending the very obvious message of look how fat I am. I can't help anybody. I'm gross. We would want this anyway. Right. Like people are going to look at that and be like, oh, wow, that's hilarious. And also it proves that he's not banging hookers because who would and why would he didn't hate? Nobody's got that kind of money. Right. But that's not the result it had. But in my mind, I thought this will have a very positive result. There is always that part of me that says this

probably will not have a positive result. Nothing you do has a positive result. There is always that part of me that says this probably will not have a positive result. Nothing you do has a positive result. But I'm also OK with that because I hate myself and want to die. So that's the other. You just said something crazy. Nothing you do ever has a positive result. You have a YouTube channel with four and a half million subscribers. You've made your living doing stuff you have a ton of fun with.

And so you get way too down on yourself too fast. You have a reality that other than the fatness a lot of people envy your life i will tell you and you're right about that i'm trying to learn that one of my friends was telling me the other day i was talking about like look once i've lost my youtube channel i've lost everything and they were standing in my house and they like looked around and they're like are you fucking joking you have this house it's filled with stuff you like you've got your dog your friends fuck you've got me what is wrong with you how many toys you have right i'm like but that's just not important to me what was important to me was helping people figurines

weeping looking at his terminated channel but but they were like you're being fucking stupid and i'm like yeah you're right i'm fucking stupid but that's how my brain works it's very narrow pointed of view it has a very narrow window of pessimistic i've not very pessimistic i like to think of myself as a uh hopeful pessimist i hope for the best i expect and prepare for the worst but yeah i'm a self-destructive person you can't eat your way to 600 pounds and not hate yourself that's self-destructive is the thing yeah i i i feel like sometimes you go into saying the wrong thing almost sabotaging yourself like yeah yeah on some level i'm sure i do yeah some form of self-hatred like knowing that it won't come out correctly and

kind of dwelling in the hate do me a favor time stamp this in the comment section if you want to talk about non-drama stuff life i started the Travel Channel as an excuse to get out and explore the world. I went to New York. I went to LA. I went to like six different Ripley's. I went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Dollywood for the first time since I was 15. I filmed all that at my travel channel. It's called Boogie Travels.

I have really backed away from like the negative drama part of the internet. I've stopped posting to Twitter. I've stopped talking about that on YouTube. I started focusing on a more narrative thing on YouTube and really enjoying what I'm doing again. I started working with Alan Roberts from Every Damn Day Fitness, one of my biggest critics. I'm using his app every day. We are talking.

Is he a bald guy? He's a bald guy. Ripped as shit. Yeah, ripped as shit. I think I've watched a few of his videos. I'll tell you what's, I'll tell you what's really interesting about that is he is a very supportive trainer and he's a very supportive person. He's a very good person. And when I fell off the wagon in February for a little while, he's like, dude, it's okay. We get back on the horse. We get back on the wagon. You met,

you screwed up one mil doesn't mean you have to screw them all up. You got this. Don't put the weight back on. I believe in you when i wasn't answering because i was traveling he would message me every single day a couple of times like he's really good at what he does he genuinely cares he is a genuinely good person and i hate how wrong i was about him that's interesting because i when i saw him make his videos about you i couldn't tell that you know it was a little tough lovey and he was kind of predicting your failure. Better yet, he was predicting the weight loss surgery wouldn't be the answer because you have to get the psych section solved.

He's right. He knows what he's talking about, man. He's good at what he fucking does. Absolutely. It's really surprising how good he is at what he does. Did you get the Tesla? I followed that. I don't know the conclusion of it

i when i was with the mcjuggernuggets mcjuggernuggets it has way more but you're cutting out can you start over oh yeah so uh when i was with mcjuggernuggets we did that test drive i was all about it but of course i'm standing next to jesse and jesse has far more money than i ever will he does very well for himself he got way more views than i ever did and uh so with him and all his side projects, everything else going on, he can afford to spend a hundred thousand bucks on a Tesla. I probably shouldn't because I need that to live off of for the rest of my life. Right. So it's kind of a crazy idea. But at first I was in that fever, that furor. And he's like, you should do

it for yourself and you could work it off. And I know you'll be successful and it'll be a goal for yourself. And so like, I really came home with the intention of getting it. But during that cool off period between when they, when I paid down payment in the the building and shipping it'll be a goal for yourself to maintain your car payment that's how you set up yourself for success i probably don't need a two thousand dollar a month car payment that sounds like a bad decision right now and uh right and so i'm like yeah it's more than my mortgage so i'm like man that's probably a bad idea for a car that depreciates instantly i mean teslas hold their uh value a lot easier than most cars but you still walk it off the lot and lose 20 you know i use tesla still a used car um and so like i don't

know i so i ended up backing off of it and by the time i decided to back off of it anyway i'm on the front page of reddit with the claim that i'm like expecting my fans to pay for it. And I get how, looking back on it, I get how I said that. Because at first I'm like, I can easily afford this Tesla. And then the next day I'm like, no, I really can't. I had the savings, but spending the savings was a bad idea. You said something sabotage-y. Like, you know, people are saying that I'm asking you to buy my Tesla. Yes, I am.

Of course I am. Why wouldn't I want a free Tesla? And again, in my mind, everyone's- Is that what you said? Is that the quote? Yeah. I'm like, why wouldn't I want you to pay for my Tesla? Please pay for my Tesla.

Reach deep and give me the money. And in my mind, this sounds perfectly sarcastic. No one's stupid enough to fall for this. But then I forget that the world is not that they're stupid. It's just they don't have the context. You've got a very different group of viewers and listeners than we have here like what's really i'll tell you what's really interesting here right that's what i'm saying in my core audience doesn't the 300 people that watch every stream i do they don't give a shit

they know this they've seen me do this a million times they get that it's hyperbole they email me on instagram they message me like dude i get that i get what you're saying and don't let these people get you down whatever but then reddit sees me for the first time and all they see is listen to this guy begging for a tesla of course they fucking hate me of course they do okay then you find the mega thread and then you see like every dumb thing i've ever done since 1996 i think it goes back to 96 maybe it's 2004 everything they could find this 2004 that i've ever done that was even remotely wrong. Yeah, of course you're going to fucking hate that. He didn't flush a public toilet at an Arby's in 2004.

I think one of the things they're upset about is I said something misogynistic on a porn blog back in 2004. I think one of the things they're upset about is one of the guys that had writing for one of my porn blogs, he made, I don't remember the misogynistic thing. When 9-11 happened, something really interesting happened in the porn industry. People stopped buying porn for about six months. That was the boner killer. DP plummeted in popularity. Not me. That was the boner killer from doom. Six days tops. Businesses started going under. And so one of the guys who's writing for my porn blog wrote an article about, hey, the money's drying up. If you thought about purchasing something, keep the industry alive.

Keep this blog alive. The industry's drying up because 9-11 happened and people aren't feeling real horny. Make America great again. Buy a porn prescription. Something like that. That's even more unbelievable than a nigerian prince thing people aren't masturbating anymore please i got off between the towers they were jerking off they just really do right um but yeah but anyway so like they're like oh my god here's where you just sell porn i can't come with what's happening whatever

i'm having a blast with this. You guys get the irony in it. You guys get the humor in it. These are like pro-clutching conservatives, which is weird to me. I don't think they're pro-clutching. They want to be mad. They love to hate.

I can't see it through a different lens. They're watching you looking for stuff. I mean, it happens to Wings, right? I watch the Wings videos that fuss at him now. It's every time he dies. You could do that to me in Tarkov. I jump.

I get mad. It could be AI that killed me, but I'm still mad at it. You know, like an asshole computer got the best of me um you know but like i kind of wish i could go in e-sion i do not want to like talk to 18 year old girls but i do kind of wish i had it in me to just like pour kombucha on myself and scream and rant and yell and get mad at him and make a bunch of my hate money doing it it's just not in me like i'm trying to embrace that with this narrative i'm telling um i'm even shading myself to look almost identical to a fat version of dark side phil um including dying my

fucking who's already a fat man right right i don't know i don't think onision is the way you should go but what the hell do i know i think the way you should go is just sit up tall, get yourself on Twitch if you want to be on Twitch, be you, and try not to give a fuck. I will tell you that's exactly the plan. I was talking to my friend about this the other day, and I told him, I'm like, look, I know that I can go that route, and I know there's a lot of money to be made in that route, but it's going to the fans i have left and i don't want to hurt those people and so what i'm going to do is i'm going to do the same thing i've done for 14 years which is do low quality videos in showing my personal life uh tell dramatic stories tell funny stories uh make people cringe on tiktok make people we've got to talk about tiktok today too by the way um that's a drama thing i really want to get into but i also want to talk about how great TikTok is um which is not a statement

you're going to hear very often so on the YouTube community but um and and then like make people cringe with the Francis videos and and let people hate watch to the best of my ability but uh make sure they're hating the right things hate the Francis characters hate the cringe content hate that stuff hopefully you don't hate me for made that stuff. Hopefully you don't hate me for made up bullshit. Hopefully you don't hate me for like rumors and things that aren't true, but whatever. Hate me if you want, like me, you want, I'm just going to be irrevocably irrefutably myself as best I can. And, uh, which is what I've done for 14 years.

And when you make your hot takes, don't back off of them. When someone goes, Hey, this is a little, uh the hell anti-left anti-right right two magic words i use just say shut up retard well i'm definitely not going to i'm definitely going to not triple down on someone is worse than a nazi that's not a thing i'm gonna fucking double down that's a mistake triple down on it anytime you get called on something you got to agree and amplify it's the only way to make things go away hop in the tesla open the sunroof stand up say worse than nazis so i wrecked my car so i i drove out to gallenberg and i got into a wreck and that was a whole thing like people are like you were on your phone yes i was like eight hours before i wrecked but you were on your phone when you wrecked but i wasn't well you were on your phone. Yes, I was, like eight hours before I wrecked. But you were on your phone when you wrecked, but I wasn't.

You were on your phone eight hours earlier. That caused the wreck. No, how could it? It was eight hours earlier. It was in a different state. What did happen? I was driving to Gatlinburg. I was driving to Bristol originally to see my sister.

And on my way through Arkansas on a dead, empty highway road that I'd driven a million times, I grabbed my phone. And I'm like, hey, this is the first road trip this long I've ever taken since I got the surgery. And I think it's really cool. And then I up, uh, then I fucking sat down the phone and I stopped to get gas. I uploaded that shit. And then I finished my trip, you know? And then in Tennessee, there was a pile up ahead of us happened a couple of minutes before I got there, I guess. And then we, and I ended up having to emergency stop and i did an emergency and stop in time i hit the vehicle in front of me but just before i did i tried to put my car in a ditch so my left front tire touched the right back tower and then i went into the ditch totaled my car i don't know if it totaled theirs um and like i hurt my back i i wrecked my

hand you still see the scar on it, I think, pretty well in video. And a huge blister on it. Crushed my left foot a little bit. And then, you know, went to the hospital. Turned out I was okay. The family went to a hotel. The family that I hit, there were three kids in the back seat. So thank God I wasn't on my phone.

Thank God I didn't plow into the back of that car. It could have been a triple kill, right? You know. And unfortunately, I didn't hurt anybody. And like and like i was pregnant i originally wasn't going to talk about it but then i was like man i don't know if i'm going to be able to travel after this i don't know if i'm going to handle being in a car i don't know if i want to do this anymore so i should talk about this so i made the decision and put it all on social media but it's not like i grabbed my phone and started recording shit and like what caused the pile up ahead of us or the stoppage,

I should say, I don't know how many cars got hit up there, but the state trooper told me there was a dude in a, uh, semi who had a stroke and like he blocked the road or he hit something. I don't know. I didn't see what was ahead of me. And so that's how I framed it.

When I talked about it, semi in front of me had a stroke, causes auto hit an emergency stop. I hit a car during the emergency stop because I was too close. My fault. Oops, fuck. That's what happened. The internet detectives started going fucking nuts. They're like, they're like pulling documents. They're trying to find state trooper statements. They're trying to find police reports. They're trying to find insurance information. I guess they never did find any proof that this guy had a stroke, but maybe he didn't. That's just what the fucking state trooper told me. I don't know. I wasn't in the truck. I was in my car. Right. But that's what

I was told. So that's what I repeated. I never think about how people are going to take these things before I speak. I just tell the truth and then like people take, take it apart. So then people did. But anyway, long story short, I ended up realizing how lucky it was that I didn't hurt anybody else or hurt myself. How was it that you hit the car in front of you? Were you just like in sort of in the zone highway driving or? That was a big part of it. And I do. So I've learned something since then. Back when I was learning to drive, what, 30 years ago, we were supposed to try to stay

two to three car lengths away from the car in front of us. That's not what you're supposed to do anymore. You're supposed to stay three seconds behind the car in front of us. That's not what you're supposed to do anymore. You're supposed to stay three seconds behind the car in front of you. So if they pass a street sign, you count one, 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, and that's going to give you enough time to stop. Two to three car lengths does not take into account that we were all doing 75, 80 miles an hour, right? People are going to be getting in way more accidents if they're counting fucking Mississippi's past every single arbitrary thing. I'm just i'm just saying that's what i've learned since then i was too close because i i was two to three car lengths

behind but that didn't account for the speed we were doing and i plowed right into a car like for every 10 15 miles an hour is about right according to me yeah that sounds better but i i think the three second rule is going to be the one that i'm using i still haven't bought a car the reason i brought this up because i still haven't so i keep looking at that cyber truck going maybe maybe that would really devastate the back of a car with three children i will probably end up buying like some cheap fucking eight six to eight thousand dollar used car as i tend to do but you know that's a smart move you're quiet for me and i already have you turned up in Discord. Do you have any ideas? There.

That is, yeah, that's, thank you. I literally plugged it and plugged it back in. Yeah, we did that when we were gaming. I thought that might be it. So authoritatively, like you were mad at the plug. Well, it's like some, some Hi Kyle, how have you been? Not too bad, not too bad at all. You know, better than you it sounds like. Goodness, you been? Not too bad. Not too bad at all. Better than you, it sounds like.

Goodness. Just a rocky road. Since you've been on last, Kyle's went to prison and you've had a worse go. I'm not trying to go to prison. I did not hear about the prison shit. What happened? You didn't hear at all?

No. Did you drop the soap? No. I took very fast showers good and he how long were you in for two months the most impressive part of it i don't know if other people share the same level of amazement that i do but kyle analyzed the social structure of the prison befriended the right subsets of people and stayed out of trouble the whole time. Wow. Good job. Yeah.

Yeah. It was, it was a blast. We all kind of know prison's racist, right? So he had a Latino friend, Mexican friend. I don't know what to say.

And then a black friend and the wife's for no trouble. And, and with that, he, he, I don't know, socially engineered prison and made his way through. I did my best to do that, I suppose. But yeah, it was an interesting little time.

I was in Alabama, not too far. I was in Talladega. Damn. Yeah. Damn, dude. I got to say, that's one of the things I never want to do my best to not break the law. gonna say that's one of the things i'd never do my best to not break the law i have recently started doing marijuana or smoking not smoking i like to eat edibles i gotta say um all those people that told me to try it wow you were right what does yeah could you describe the high boogie

i don't really know so with the edibles I have gotten, and I finally got my weed card, so I'm not breaking the law, right? Or I'm trying to get it. I guess I'm in the process. I should be very careful because those internet detectives will find the fucking...

Hypothetically, if you were to do edibles, what are they like? Right. So for me, time distortion is a very real thing for me. Time can either seem like it's going by really quick or really slow, or I'll completely lose track of time. I do get focus issues.

I have trouble focusing. So I'll focus on like I'm watching a TV show. I can feel my shirt on my skin. I can feel the shoes on my feet. I can see the television in front of me, the game that I'm playing. It's really hard to pick a thing to focus on it. what the thing that I liked about it is it was very calming. So the first night I did it, I had a friend over and I was hanging out with my friend and I was like, dude, he's bored. You need to entertain him. And I'm like, dude, we can't entertain anybody. We

are high as hell. So let's just relax and not worry about it. And normally I would not be able to relax and not worry about it. But I was, I was like, man, that's okay. He can take care of himself. I mean, dude, this guy doesn't like you. And I'm like, no, he likes me just fine. We're fine. Don't worry. But that's not something in a response I would normally have.

Right. And, um, and so it's really helped me like process and like deal with that stuff. So what I've decided, I don't like doing it during the day. I don't like doing it at night even when I'm relaxing. But what it does do for me is I will eat an edible about two hours before I go to bed. Then when I'm laying down in bed, I will just kind of go numbish and lose time and lose feelings and lose focus. And then I have completely dreamless sleep. And it's incredible because I'm not used to dreamless sleep. I'm used to constant dreams, mostly anxiety, nightmare shit. And so I just like lay there with this complete, like just lose completely track of time. I slept as much as 11 hours one night, just uninterrupted in one position without rolling over, without getting up to pee 11 hours, which is wonderfulrupted in one position without rolling over without getting up to pee 11 hours which is wonderful sleep that's great dream filled sleep kind of makes

me think you wake up a lot oh i do constantly yeah yeah physical issues and then like mental issues and like with the post-traumatic stress disorder nightmares is really common used to come nightmares a lot you still do the sleep or c? Yeah, I still got to use my CPAP machine. I haven't done a sleep study yet, but I've slept without it a couple of times. Like while traveling, I just didn't feel like I'm packing it or I fell asleep on the chair or the couch. I fell asleep at a friend's place or a girl's place or whatever. And I'm just like, yep, nope, this is not restful sleep. I absolutely do need this machine still.

So did you get it? You got a sleep study before the CPAP, right? I've had two total. Yeah, that's what mine was like too and probably going to get in the third at some point and getting the settings changed but i don't think i'll ever be without it i mean you got to keep mind sitting here right now i'm sitting at 345 346 that neighborhood um haven't weighed myself in a couple days but i should be right about 345 which is about 10 pounds heavier than i was at the end of january which sucks i put a little weight back on but i i'm yo-yoing again kind of sucks what's your eating weakness uh stress stress no not like the what food is it that that you reach for when that you shouldn't

sugar sugar it's always sugar i fucking love sugar it's like sugar is outstanding yeah right it's absolutely incredible dude like that's why i was a soda junkie and then like whenever i'm like stressed about some bullshit like after a bad therapy session or after like a bad workout or after a bad work day or bad whatever i will go right to the walmart and i'll go right to the candy aisle and i'll be like i can eat one reese's cup and then i'll get the king so what can eat they come into right pair and then I'll get the king size. No one can eat, they come in a pair. And then I'll end, right. I'll throw the other one away, Kyle. That's how I can eat one. And then you go get the novelty ones. Have you ever gotten those? Use the pizza cutter to just cut some big old slices out of that bitch. Kyle, have you ever had a big one? I'll tell you what,

I haven't had the big one, but at Easter, mom used to get us these easter eggs that were peanut butter easter eggs and it was basically like a reese's but as big as like a diet an ostrich egg not an ostrich because those are actually bigger than you think but like but that dinosaur egg from jurassic park like literally is a baked potato that's a good description and it's like crack that bitch down the. And it's just a giant chunk of peanut butter shaped like an egg covered in chocolate. But I've seen those novelty Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on Amazon. I think occasionally, if I'm buying a girl a Valentine's Day gift or something, I like to go outrageous with it. Get them the box of chocolates that when I'm holding it, you can't see me anymore.

Or something like that. That's have it have it be something silly i think before easter's over with i want to find one of those like church made homemade peanut butter eggs you're talking about i get one of those but i will tell you i must have looked like a fucking crazy person when i was at walmart the other night because the easter isle is up and they have those cadbury eggs and they come like five in a box right and i stood I stood there and I stared at that box. I must've been there for 10 minutes. We're like, but I can, I could have these and I can eat these. I'm like,

but I can't, I really can't. I really shouldn't. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm going to, and I'm like, no,

we're not like brain. We're not going to, we're not, we're going to set the shit down and we're going to walk away from it. And I'm like, I don't know how long I argued with myself, but my roommate who was with me got bored and walked away. I love Cadbury eggs.

They're incredible, right? Doing that curb your enthusiasm. I honestly don't like them. You don't like Cadbury eggs? No, I don't like them. You're talking about the little chocolate eggs that have cum in them, right? Yeah, I love the cum. The cum is the best part. It's like a diabetic jizz in your mouth.

That's what my cum looks like, too. There's always a little yellow yolk in my cum. Is that weird? Kyle makes me want to be gay just for diabetics now. Yeah. I haven't had a Cadbury egg in four or five years, but I wanted to say that I've had not a novelty, like Kyle described one almost the size of a dinner plate,

but I had an unusually large Reese's peanut butter cup. I think they're a pound. Yeah. Mine was smaller than that, but it was certainly bigger than the normal ones. Yeah. The ratio was wrong. I actually didn't but it was certainly bigger than the normal ones yeah the ratio was wrong i actually didn't like it it was too it was just the peanut butter insides without enough chocolate they make the fins now and you get a better ratio of less peanut butter cups yeah like fins yeah huh i like the the christmas tree ones that's just kind of a

looks like a lump of shit that comes out once a year. I don't like that. That's a good ratio. I like the higher peanut butter content. Even though like when you bite into it, it's the kind of peanut butter where it's like, if this came in a jar and I put it on a sandwich, I would be displeased. Here you go. Yeah, yeah. I was wrong. I said a pound and the pack

is a pound. That's what it is. So they're half a pound each. I'll give you two half you want me to send you a few of these boogie just dude absolutely not i i also i often thought about making um in this drama series i keep thinking about making a mukbang video um and like you know not eating much of it but actually destroying stuff um people get mad when they waste food people get mad you do this stuff but boy yeah this stuff I used to get shit about that for wasting food I'd shoot food

And I'm like I bought it I'll fucking shit on it if I want to You just wasted 25 liters of Shasta Shut up bitch I'll do what I want I'm not wasting food I'm creating jobs

Cause it'd be fruit I'd go to Walmart and I'd not wasting fruit. You ruined that sugar water. I'm creating jobs. Yes. Because it'd be fruit. I'd go to Walmart and I'd buy a whole bunch of cantaloupes and all these watermelons. I went to the checkout aisle and the lady who was checking me out, this elderly black lady, she was like, ooh. She thumps the cantaloupe in a knowing way. That's a good cantaloupe. That's going to be delicious, sugar. What you doing with all this fruit?

Church picnic? I'm like, I'm shooting them as targets with my rifle. She's like, ah! She, like, pulls it back to her chest, like, clutching it, like, trying to save it from me. You can't do that! And I'm like, yeah, I can. What are you going to do? You going to stop me? I just mentioned the gun.

Like, you're going to have a hard time here. I want to start a long conversation with a black female cashier. They will go on and on i think the move was the one at cole's recognizes me now and she keeps trying to get me keeps trying to get me to sign with a fucking cole's card i went and i bought some shit yesterday or two days ago realized i meant to buy a new like athletic compression like workout stuff and i was like all right i'll pop back in there and i'm walking in like theresa please don't be here today. Please. Just like 52-year-old, you know, heavyset black woman who's always like, I recognize you come in here all the time. And I always ask you, what do I always ask you?

And I'm like, do you want to sign up for Nicole's car? She's like, yes, I do. And what do you always say? And I'm like, no. No, I always say no because I don't like giving myself security numbers. Fuck you, Darkie. Get away from me. And you just keep coming back but it's like

that kind of pushy sales attitude where like i can't get pissed at her because she's doing her job and she's being somehow friendly about it you can still get pissed just come on give me a social thank you about all the cole's cash you lost though i would go to call of duty and say model warfare six please no up sales and they'd be like all right would you like to join our club uh we covered this no up sales all right would you like this uh just this that's how it should be we established the ground rules going into this i have um i've been researching buying a car on YouTube. And apparently that's super fucking complicated now. Because used to, the last couple of cars I bought,

you just walk in on the lot and you're like, hey, I'm paying cash. And they're super excited that you're paying cash. Used to be. Cash was king. And then you get your car right away and they're super happy. And now I'm learning that if you walk in and say you're paying for cash, they're going to rip you off hard.

Yeah, because they want that financing. Right. They want all of the extra and added bonuses and the financing and all the money. Boogie, you're getting cut off now and then. Yeah, what is that? Could it be a Discord thing that you don't have your sensitivity? I very rarely

use Discord, but for some reason, I flash green for a second. That's happened to Kyle before as well. Yeah, so what do I do? I'll fix it. If you tell me how to, um, I chose a different USB port for my camera that fixed the green, but,

um, to fix the, uh, the sensitivity, you click the gear down by user settings, bottom left of the discord app. Uh, then you go to voice and video.

It's under app settings. It's the third column down. You got input volume. I can lower that. Uh, that's not what you want to do, actually. There's a green bar under automatically determine input

sensitivity, and you want to slide that all the way to the left and then save your settings. And you're done. Actually, maybe you don't even have to save settings. So I turn it off automatically determine input sensitivity? Correct. Yeah. All the way to the left. Because then it's like deciding when you're done talking.

Okay. Done. No, I don't think they've they've ever cared honestly about the cash thing because like all right first of all like people would come in and say that a lot you're like hey i'm paying cash and be like hey i just couldn't give a fuck less like like actually it's i would prefer that you finance obviously because like if you're paying cash, then you have a limited amount of it at some point. But if you're financing, the amount that you technically have or the amount that your bank will give you if you've got good credit is virtually unlimited when it comes to this car. Like they're going to finance it as much as we want it to cost really most of the time unless you've got bad credit or it's a used car. So yeah, a cash customer has always been less attractive than a finance customer of course as well because we can't make money on the back end with you know financing through ford motor credit or or any of

our banks where we might get a point or a quarter point or whatever i just want a cheap easy car to buy that i don't have to pay a bunch of stupid fees for just buy a honda or a toyota something's gonna last forever and drive the shit out of it. Yeah, I keep looking at Toyota Corollas, and I drove one the other day, and it wasn't that comfortable in it. Those are real little, too. You don't want a Honda CR-V or a Toyota Highlander.

I don't remember the other one. You're a full-sized American. Mustang makes the great V6. You're a full-sized American, Boogie. You might want a truck or something. What a polite way to put that. you're a full-sized american boogie you might want a truck or something my friend my friend who passed away had a 2014 dodge uh charger and i never even drove it but i tried to get that and i was unable to get it but i was like man that would be a really nice way to remember my friend who passed away get his car and like drive it for a while and then i think

his family decided to keep it because technically it was owned by the company or something like that so i don't remember exactly how it all worked out but i that seemed like a really cool car like i don't know anything about cars is it is a charger a cool car still i think it is i think they look cool but i don't know what the new ones look like i remember in like 2006 i was like that's the coolest thing i've ever seen but i was also. I like that whole movement they made. Around 2005, I think, the Mustang got redone. It looked amazing. It still does.

Then the Charger did the retro thing, and the Camaro maybe did too. But yeah, they all got nice looking. The Mustang and the Camaro, previous to this most recent, like last 15-year redesign, like 90s Mustangs look awful. That weird slope down front. Are you talking about the bubble one or the square fox body one? I think it's the bubble one. I didn't like either of those.

They outright stopped making the Camaro in 1999. The Camaro is the one that looked horrific. I liked it. I don't remember an ugly Camaro to my sense. I'm sorry, Kyle. The 99 actually is the one year, I think, where they gave it bubble headlights instead of the little slits, like an Asian is peering at you from under the shrubbery.

He's a very nice car. Oh, so nice. He's so really, really nice. Yeah, see, look at this. This one, this is a 97 Camaro. That looks terrible. You're going to tell me that looks like an okay car. Yeah, I was fine with that.

Although I did prefer the Trans Am, obviously, which is basically the same car, but everything's nicer. It's not the same car at all. It's the exact same car. I don't know much about cars, but this looks like some of the cars. Yeah, I was about to say, this looks like some of the cars from the 90s but no i like that car that's kind of cool yeah i like the newer ones more but that doesn't catch my attention as a

bad car like the fox body mustang does dude there is um up up in branson missouri uh i traveled up there going back up there in march um there is a celebrity car museum and he's got like the 1960s batmobile he's got the car that mike gets shot in and breaking bad spoilers for a 10 year old television show um and like it's some of the like fucking most incredible shit he's got one of the vans from men in black he's got the men in black vehicle he's got like one of the uh just the insane shit that that dude has and i guess i'm i went to it and put it on my travel channel and when i go back we're doing a collab with my friend jacob the carpetbagger and he says he's gonna let us drive some car but well the reason i bring this

up is not just to get you to watch my content on my travel channel, Boogie Travels, but also because he also had some just nice cars. The guy who owns that collection, all the celebrity cars, also just likes to buy nice cars. And so up in one section, he had a Porsche, I think, and some other super- And he does this in Branson? Yeah, he's got a museum in branson he also like will take those cars on the road i think he wasn't there i didn't meet the owner because he was in the middle east somewhere like dubai or something like showing off part of his collection um he did not have one of the cars i wanted to see there actually in the midwest i wanted to see of course

delorean wanted to set in a delorean um which which is the whole reason I wanted the Tesla model X to begin with the wing doors to trick it out, to look like a DeLorean. Right. And now if I get the cyber truck, I'm gonna make it look like a warthog, you know, but anyway, everybody's doing that. So that's not gonna be that special, but damn it. I saw these like special cars that I'm like, what movie is this one from? And he's like, it's not from a movie.'s just a porsche i'm like oh who cares and also i get that as a supersized american i will not fit in that car none of you guys will either who the fuck fits in these cars like if

did you zombify verne troyer and put him in this porsche like who drove this fucking thing r.i.p i've driven a lot of boxsters uh the leg room is a problem though um those are the teeniest ones right yeah boxers real small um but you know it's i feel like i feel like froggy fresh he was like notoriously five foot three he'd be like i don't know that porsche is kind of tight for me yeah i don't want to i don't know why you'd buy a luxury car and then feel cramped in it. That doesn't make any sense. A luxury car to me is a Lincoln.

See, if I were like super Mr. Rich guy, I wouldn't buy a car to drive. I would get a Rolls or something, and I would be the guy to have a TV in the back. I'd have sodas and snacks and drinks and whiskey and those glass bottles that decanters people have decanters wouldn't even drink it back there just to have it just so people know this guy this guy has got fucking money and that's what you do you just ride around if you don't have to drive when you're rich why would you want to if i've been if i'm being bougie af uh you guys know we talked

about this before my roommate my best friend he's been working for me the last two years now you guys know we talked about this before my roommate my best friend he's been working for me the last two years now and since i wrecked my car he just does all the driving and so like i played my switch in like the passenger seat and like fuck around when i have to go to do stuff and it's actually really nice being driven around i kind of like it i mean jesus dude you should talk to him it's not like you're the back of a limo. No, dude. No, straight up. You install a side window. He's like, Mr. Boogie, where do you want? He's always turning around.

He's like, would you like an egg in this prime time? Who are you talking to? He turns to Frank Reynolds immediately. After this, we should go get dinner. Yeah. He's actually a really quiet person. He would rather I didn't talk to him most of the time, I think. That's a great driver to have.

Uh-huh. I wish that all the fucking Somali Uber drivers or Nigerian Uber drivers that I get had the same attitude. But they are just chat, chat, chat, chat, chat. Yeah, but they're not talking to you. They're on their Bluetooth planning a coup back home. i've never had one actually well their language is spooky i don't know what they're saying last time i was in la i just told you when i went down to disneyland i got a deaf driver it was great uh he said basically nothing he could you pull over here please please oh shit you realize he was pretending to be deaf he might have been very well but like He said basically nothing. Could you pull over here, please? Oh, shit.

You realize he was pretending to be deaf. He might have been very well, but he was reading everything he did. And on the app, you could type in messages on the app, and then he could read the message, right? It'll go through the Uber app, so you can set that up. That's a Seinfeld bit, by the way. What's the deal with these deaf uber drivers are you reading while you're on the road

read the fucking road when a lion pretends I'm deaf yeah that's good but regardless they did not talk and I didn't feel the need to talk and it was fucking fantastic I would have been like how deaf are you

how deaf are you? How deaf are you? Ah! Ah! You're pretty fucking deaf. I would have put my hands right behind their head, just... Yeah, guys. Jesus.

I think that's a hate crime. Do you want to hear the most ableist shit I'll say on today's podcast? Here's the most ableist shit. I'm willing to have a deaf Uber driver, but I will not fucking deal with a blind one. Or a woman. Or an Asian one. Oh, God.

Thanks for helping me, Taylor. I was really alone for a millisecond out there. We got to have each other's backs. That's the way this works. We can't leave each other out to dry. If you get an Indian driver, if there's a cow on the road, you know he's going to swerve into the ditch instead of plowing through it.

That is a common problem. Were you in New York? I want to watch this video that Kyle linked in the Twitter I've purposefully not watched it yet with sound on it did play through when someone linked it to me on Twitter yeah me too

I'll be the slow I don't know who this guy is this is cooly mccool pants are you guys ready yeah ready set play say i ain't got money say i ain't got money whoa damn what the Whoa. God damn. What the fuck?

I swear to God. What was he about to say? I swear to God it wasn't loaded. I think what he did is he racked the slide to get the round out of the chamber without taking the magazine out first. So he just advanced the rounds by one. Kyle, do you see it differently than that? I don't know what this jabroni was doing. I mean, that's what he did.

He racked the slide twice, which didn't make a lot of sense to me. It was like he put one bullet in the magazine and he wanted to eject it and do something cool. I don't know what his plan was. He clearly didn't know what he was doing, just the way he was all herky-jerky there. But he lost his girlfriend, his Twitch partnership, and he was kicked from his team all in one stream, according to this post. I don't know why

his girlfriend left him. She's kind of fickle, right? Yeah, see? The Twitch partnership makes sense. You can't shoot guns on stream. Kicked from his team. They don't want a guy who shoots guns on stream. But girlfriend? Bitch, he's better't know she might have been on the other side of the wall you know oh she didn't leave him she's dead wall bang she's laying there

it said the top of her thing said he was phase carl i have no idea if that's true but i choose to believe that FaZe Carl got a wall bang. His name was Soar Carl? Is that the name of another one? I'm so out of date. Oh, shit, bitch. His pinned tweet is him saying, you already know she said yes. And him proposing.

Sucks to suck, dude. Cool, man. That's actually suck, dude. Oh, man. That's actually pretty shitty. Sorry. One bad mistake. But at the same time, you know, Kyle, you're the resident gun expert. When you're trying to clear the chamber, if you've taken it out and you slide the rack twice, that second bullet that comes out should be troubling.

Yes? Yeah. I mean, he's got the magazine as well like like that's how it happened yeah yeah if if the gun were actually empty the slide would have locked back that's how you know it's empty is because it would have locked back you know if you pull the slide all the way back and let go and it still drops forward then either the gun has something wrong with it there's not not a magazine in it, or you just chambered a round. Those are the only three possible options

that I can imagine. He just didn't know what he was doing. To me, the double rack wasn't crazy. Rack it, watch the round come out. Rack it, observe a round didn't come out. That's a way to tell that it's empty too. I don't know that every gun locks back. The Glock does though.

Whatever he had. Yeah, it is a Glock does, though. Oh, okay. Yeah, whatever he had. Yeah, it is a Glock, right? Yep. He wouldn't know. I'm not going to agree with Kyle. I do. Jokes aside, yeah, that's really fucking stupid. You shouldn't be playing with guns that are responsibly.

Thank God no one was hurt. But I do feel bad for the guy. He made a dumbass decision, and it seems like based on that Keemstar tweet, he's lost everything. We all desk pop now and then. That's just a desk pop. I've done a desk pop before. Me and White Boy used to get stoned as fuck

and watch that movie. It was a little catchphrase in the household. Desk pop this, desk pop that. I was like, I'll do a desk pop. I don't care. He's like, you won't do it. I'm like, I'll fucking do it. You won't do it. I'm just it, Deathspop. I don't care. He's like, you won't do it. And I'm like, I'll fucking do it. You won't do it. And you're just like, pow!

And you just hear a kitty in the house. What the fuck? And I'm like, we're all good. Told you. Told you I'd do it. What was the damage like? I wasn't indoors. I was in an enclosed porch. So, no harm, no foul.

So I just went up in the air. Where did the bullet go? You know, did it go through a screen, a decking floor? I definitely either shot up or through the screen. Hopefully through the screen. That's a lot less damage. It wasn't my house. I was a renter.

Yeah, so it's not really damaged. It's a trash piece of shit thing to do. He was a real less damage. It wasn't my house. I was a renter. Yeah, so it's not really damaged. White trash piece of shit thing to do. He was a real shitty landlord. Alright, well then you should have done it to the ceiling. It's good to shoot through the screen because it slows the bullet down. Yeah. Not really.

Carl Reimer, sorry about your desk pop unintentionally. That stinks. He must have been a pretty famous streamer to be on a team and get kicked off. Or not streamer, competitive guy. You know what? I'm out of my depth.

The truth was it was Team Gamertag and there's no prestige in that whatsoever. I will tell you this. I have learned that there's no way I would say he don't have money. Because that's what he said at the beginning of the video. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Bitch, don't say he don't have money. Because that's what he said at the beginning of the video. Oh, yeah. He doesn't have money? Oh, yes.

Bitch, don't say I don't got money. Well, maybe not anymore after getting kicked off your team, your Twitter. Yes. Why is he culturally appropriating AAVE, saying don't say I don't got money? Not appropriate. Who's AAVE? It was a joke. African American Vernacular English.

Like Ebonics for woke people. I was going to say that. Who's A-A-V-E? It was a joke. African American Vernacular English. Like Ebonics for woke people. There has been at least half a dozen terms in this podcast so far that I don't know. I'm going to start making up acronyms. I'm going to do that in the next big corporate meeting I have for a client. I mean, the BET

on this is off the charts. What are you talking about i mean black people love it oh okay okay all right all right it'd be okay with that they wouldn't actually they they'd pretend to be upset good god yeah corporate world's very very gay hey uh did maybe you told us this did your company cancel travel yet have they been doing that sort of thing my whole universe is filled with people that cancel travels because of corona it's like a retail review season for most clients of mine isn't for like a while so like it wouldn't have come up yet but if it continues to

get worse it may they may and that would be pretty dope where it was just like all right everybody's skyping now and it'd be like yes i don't gotta hang out for six hours in the charlotte airport so my brother um has a degree in health science i don't even know what he's doing for work right now um but it calls he used to work at the cdc for a brief period of time i think a few years and he calls me up the other day he's like hey man so this is it spend your money and i'm like what do you mean he goes yeah just go ahead and spend it for the economy crashes i'm like what is the he's like yeah the coronavirus this one's real this one's really real and he's like we're fucked and i'm like really how fucked he goes well at least we get to die so we have that going for us and like yeah that's there's always an upside right um but

he's like you know he's like i really do think infrastructure could really shut down on this one i think the economy could really tank on this one he's like i really think a lot of people could die and like that's what i'm hearing from my friends at the cdc like this one's a real thing we actually have to worry about this one a little bit i call bullshit i have my own source he said that the world health organization is wrong on the death rate he says you can still go to work and um what do you can't cite me i'm citing donald trump he actually didn't say that he what he what he actually said was that the symptoms of this are so mild that sometimes you might be going about your everyday thing. You might be going about it, going to work even, and not realizing.

That's what he actually said. He didn't say, go to work, idiot. Sneeze on your coffee cups, retard. Don't fact check me, Taylor. But putting politicians in charge of disease shit seems like a tremendously bad idea. How about we get some experts? I don't know. The top level

guy in an organization, his skill is management. It's not solving problems. Yeah. Look, I throw stones at Trump all the time. Not on that one. I'm sure there are people who are viral... What the hell is a viralologist called? I can't on that one. I'm sure there are people who are viral.

What the hell is a viralologist called? I can't say the word. Virologist, I think. That word is unpronounceable. A technologist is a pimping perceptor. Anyway, I'm sure there's tons of them on the team. The fact that the top guy is Pence, like as much as I love to hate Trump and Pence has tried to pray away other diseases and shit i uh

you know he's just a manager on top there is no funnier outcome than like everyone in the media having to be like vice president pence effectively found a substitute and a strategy for this disease it's prayer fuck you just gotta pray it you just gotta pray it fuck you're so mad that you can pray it away my brother asked me at the end of that conversation what I was gonna do and I said

I'm gonna look at a bunch of toilet seats cause at least the fucking virus kills you so that's good or build your immune system I like suicide memes and I know I probably shouldn't after my life experience with it Or build your immune system. I like suicide memes. And I know I probably shouldn't after my life experience with it, but I love how millennials have just – like there's a subreddit called ToMeInRealLifeForInRealLife, and they have like me underscore in real life,

and it's supposed to be memes about how you feel, right, and what it's like to be in real life. But then they ban suicide memes from it so the other one is just all suicide memes and like it's the most funny shit in the world to me so it's that's one of my favorite jokes to make is like i'm just gonna go lick toilets planning my trip to china see you soon you know yeah it's it's funny suicide jokes can be very funny and i don't remember i think it may have even been like louis ck or something or some comedian made a joke where he's like you'll be doing great in life everything's going swimmingly you'll have some success and then like

there's no toilet paper when you're trying to wipe your ass and like that thought crosses your head where he's like god i should just fucking kill myself like does that ever pop into your head for and i i don't ever idealize i've never had suicidal ideation ever but like it's a funny thought to think and then it almost makes you laugh where you're like do you imagine imagine if i took the time to write a note on the remaining toilet paper and they killed myself right here on the toilet and then they had to discover that and they're like why wouldn't he but why wouldn't taylor just have wiped his ass with the note and it's a it's a long note he's a big sharpie around the roll and i'm just yeah giant fun i think i think that's what

happened elvis is he ran out of toilet paper and he like looked at the empty roll and looked at the benzos in his hand he's like oh fuck it and then just fuck this man it's almost i can't handle it no more you mentioned benzos have we talked about jordan peterson no he's addicted to uh uh painkillers like opiates i think yeah uh because opiates and benzodiazepines are different drugs i was on his oh you may be right maybe it's both that would be i think it literally is but i was on his wikipedia today oddly up to speak um because benzos are super dangerous like i think benzos and alcohol and maybe heroin maybe not here i don't know are the only withdrawals benzo diazepine tranquilizers yeah yeah he was on those and he went to russia to get an experimental treatment which involved

a medically induced coma and it was not very successful he's neurologically damaged and he's unable to walk or even type without help what's he doing why would he do that jesus christ you know you gotta clean your room and then sometimes go to russia for experimental surgery he sounds like kermit the frog oh shit we had him on our show like three years ago yeah he was now he's apparently retarded i'm very proud of the fact that his parents thought it was his best interview ever you know what that tells me is they have no idea the kind of show we do. Yeah, for sure, for sure. But I also feel like he was the Mr. Get Your Life Together guy for years. For years. Clean your room.

Get your act together. Go to school. Get an education. Get a job. Get a girl. Have a kid. Do this. Do that. He was like, Mr. I know what I'm doing.

Listen to me, and I'll help you get your life together and be as awesome as me and it turned out that time he was addicted to closes zapom proper pronunciation thank you yeah clonazepine yeah anyway uh and then i'm sorry okay and then uh benzodiazepine and i don't know what else and i'm just like wow like you're popping pills and telling people how to get their life together simultaneously see and it's interesting because it's like like telling he told the most you know i never watched a huge amount of his content but like his core message seemed to be like the basic bitch, like, Hey,

your room's dirty. Start off by cleaning your room and then kind of outwardly from there, figure out what else is fucked up in your life and kind of try and take action when you can. And it just kind of goes to show like even somebody who's tremendously fucked up in their own life can give advice, even if they're not necessarily following it, that's beneficial to people.

So I have a really controversial opinion. A lot of people have said like, Boogie, I doubt it. He's not gay. Now a lot of people have been like, Boogie, how could you dare try to give other people advice on weight loss when you fail to lose the weight yourself? And after struggling for 45 years with and having had some successes, at the very least, I can tell you what not to do. I can tell you how I fucked up, right? So that's information you should have. Right. But then on the handful of times I've been successful surgery or keto or whatever it is, I know that that worked for me. So I can tell you about my experiences. Right. And so when I was

talking to my friend about this the other day, I was like, look, let's imagine you were lost in a cave. Right. And you have the advice of two people to listen to. You can listen to the guy standing outside of the cave going, I don't know, go left, I think, because he doesn't fucking know. Or you can find the other guy who's trapped in that same fucking cave. And he can say, dude, if you go left here, you're going to go down a waterfall and you're going to die. You go right here, that's where the fucking snake pit is. So don't go right, don't go left here. You're going to listen to the guy who's in the cave with you, even if he's trapped in there too, right? So I kind of feel like if Jordan Peterson is talking about getting your life together,

if he's living a life in which he's managing a severe drug addiction, he knows a lot about getting your life fucking together, even if he's still broken and shitty just like the rest of us. And I think if you're broken and shitty, looking at someone like, I don't know much about Jordan Peterson, but looking at somebody with a drug addiction who's managed their life around it that's a good person to look at for inspiration that may work but i would immediately if i came across and i'd be like bitch you've been in this cave longer than i have like i i haven't checked all the corridors yet like you you clearly haven't done a good job

of checking right right and that's i get that fully you definitely shouldn't listen to jordan peterson's advice on drugs right but he probably knows quite a bit about hiding his drug here's my top 10 list just makes you feel dope philosophy i'm just fucking crazy man i just take that and drift off and fucking shits gold frog or jordan peterson jordan peterson sounds a lot like kermit the frog according to this article looking uh looking him up um xanax is a benzo i guess a benzo whatever it is anyway i tried xanax once my doctor gave me 10 xanaxes after my divorce and i took one

and i fucking hated it well you gotta crush them up and store them or they're just no fun at all i guess not what as felt what didn't you like what was it like i became a fucking zombie i was numb as shit doesn't we do that to you though because i'll tell you what in a different way the edibles that you're doing um are they homemade or are they from a store where you know? From the dispensary. Do you know what dosage you're taking, milligrams? 36% on these gummies, which doesn't have like a milligram, which is weird, but it's like 36% on the gummy.

So I guess I could weigh the gummy and figure it out. Is it just like a gummy bear? No, it's like this little, and it tastes like shit too. But then the question is like 36% what? Like pure? 36% pure. See, that's not a thing though. Right, exactly.

I don't know why they measure it like that there. Yeah. So in Colorado, you know, I want to say everything civilian use was what, Taylor? Like five milligrams? 10 milligrams. Yeah. Was it 10? It's 10.

Everything's 10. What does civilian use mean? Can you back up to that? Everything's civilian use. Ah, so there's medical and recreational recreational even in a state like colorado and the medical people get uh access to much higher doses because they're not having fun they're treating fucking excruciating diseases the answer and yeah yeah where whereas like like like some some girl who just flew in from south carolina might be like yeah i want to get high. Give me the candies.

They're pretty. You don't want to give her the star of death, Joey Diaz kind of dosage that's going to put her in a coma. But the guy who's dying of pancreatic cancer and is just in so much pain you can't fathom it, he needs a star of death. He needs to go to another realm today. So the civilian stuff that you just walk in and plunk down some cash with a government issued ID that says you're 21 is 10 milligrams.

I had forgotten. I thought it was five. And so for somebody like me that had a really high tolerance, I would, if I really wanted to get high, I would take like 50 to 75 milligrams. So I had to eat like five of everything now you because it's 10 milligrams per dose a lot of people be like oh yeah i want this or that this is the kind of candy or food that i like but it's like no it's this fucking big it's a huge like yeah you gotta eat half a dozen cookies if you want to get or muffins like like if it's cupcakes it cupcakes, do you really want to eat five muffins right now? Is your dinner for today cupcakes? No. In my case, absolutely not.

Dude, you get two muffins in and you're going to be like, poof! You're literally on the toilet eating your fourth muffin and you're still not even buzzing yet. But why did they make it with bran? It makes no sense. So what I would do is I would look for the tiniest thing. Like y'all got Tic Tacs.

I want like a Tic Tac type candy that's 10 milligrams. That way you can pop five, six, seven of them and get to where you want to go. Yeah, they did. Those little pill bottles where it was like, it would say sativa on it. And I remember buying those because we got those when we were in Colorado together. And maybe it was some sort of psychological thing, but taking those pills, I never felt like

I was getting high. If I ate the little square of chocolates that they came, I would feel that. Here's why. There's different ways to do marijuana edibles. You can dissolve the THC with alcohol, and then you can turn it into a hard candy.

And then there's a different process where you're bonding the THC to a soluble fat, like coconut oil or butter or vegetable oil, anything like that. And then you're cooking it into, very carefully, cooking it into a pastry or a chocolate, a confectionery of some kind. Both of those work. Whatever they're doing to those pills doesn't work. Because the last day that we were there, everybody left but me and my girlfriend. Taylor had his early departure. Chiz had his early departure. And then just me and my girlfriend are sitting there like, shit, our plane doesn't leave until 5 p.m. We don't have to leave this place until like one in the afternoon and so we're left with everybody's collective weed that was left over and there was a lot there was a lot and so i've

got all this weed and we so we just drive with the weed to the airport my plan is like i'll do as much you can it's colorado we're not taking it on the plane. No. He's trying to load up before the plane. Maybe a little. I thought 20 seconds from now it's, who's checking the bags? Look, you may or may not be able to get some back in your bag, but in any case, my plan was to do it right there at the airport and then throw it away before I went into the airport.

And so we're sitting there at the airport and I'm just eating all the edibles. I'm eating them all. And there's a whole, I ate that whole bottle of pills, Taylor, the whole bottle. I did the whole bottle, throw that away. And then, you know, like it's like half an ounce of weed. I have to throw that in the trash and I'm just, I'm eating them all. I do like 150 milligrams of marijuana edibles. I was barely high for the ride home. The pills just don't work. to teach Chiz, Kyle, and Kyle's girlfriend at the time to play magic. And it would be a thing where Kyle's tolerance, and I think Chiz's too, was so high that they'd be like, all right, let's pass around this dispensary joint. And I'd take a couple hits and be like, ho, ho, ho!

And then pass it back to them, and they're smoking it like it's nothing. And then that'll finish, and I'm like, you made it, brother. You made it. You're still able to explain what trample means. And then they'd be like, alright, number two. Everybody down? Everybody good? And I'd just be like, oh no.

What do you mean by a dispensary joint? So like a regular joint is just a cone joint. So a marijuana cigarette, even the uninitiated are familiar with, you know, you saw one of those dare ads in the nineties. These are,

these are sure. These are not your 19. These are not your woodstock joints. All right. First of all, it's got a little cardboard tip on the back. So you're not like getting this mushy thing you're sticking in your mouth. Second of all,

it's shaped like a cone. So it gets bigger as it goes toward the end. You can buy the cones empty and you can sprinkle marijuana into them and then you twist the end at the end and you've got this ready to go thing. But you can buy pre-rolls in Colorado

and other legal states. And you can buy premium pre-rolls. So you're like, yeah, I want the premium pre-roll. It comes with, it's full of super strong marijuana, of course, but then they like sprinkle keef on the inside, which is like marijuana pollen, essentially. It's like if you took the marijuana buds and like, when you grind a lot of marijuana with a marijuana grinder, there's a fine wire mesh thing in the bottom and the very fine particulates of

pollen can fall through that. And it's called a, um, a keef catcher. So you screw the bottom off of the grinder. And after you've ground up an ounce or two, you've got a significant amount of this pollen, which is a concentrated version.

Yeah. Well, they fill it up with that too. And then they take, um, hash and they put hash in there too. Hash, there's different ways to make it, but like the old school way was you just took the marijuana plants and rubbed your hands on them over and over. And the, the, the keef and

the, the other like, like, like, like terpenes or whatever would like stick to your hand. And then you would roll your hand like this and it would come off in this tarry like sticky substance that you could put in there that's also a concentrate it's more of a natural concentrate then they would take yeah it's too much yeah this is like one of those double chocolate like brownie sundae chocolate covered with chocolate so like you've overdone it boys yes. Yes. This is the chocolate fudge sundae of a joint. So on the outside, they take wax, which is something I enjoy. And it's like the consistency of wax. I mean, just think candle wax, maybe.

That's not accurate, but just think it. And they do a spiral, like all the way up the outside of the joint. So that as you're smoking, a little of it's being burned every puff. And that's coming in too and they're expensive they can be like 50 for a joint but it's like and sometimes they're they're literally wrapped in 24 karat gold and you're just like oh worth it so yeah we were puffing on those things i could tell i remember smoking one of those because you i remember even at the dispensary you're like give me one of those because you i remember even at the

dispensary you're like give me one of those give me yeah you you want the master class mr p 420 extravaganza and kyle's like yeah give me actually six they're like that's you know that's like 200 whatever like he didn't care and i remember smoking one of those and just the taste of it i was like oh i'm fucked oh this is totally different than the college weed i smell it's like i'm about to be suited if taylor had bought that and he was alone could he smoke like an eighth of it and save it for later too i couldn't smoke one by myself no i could it would be one of those things i would have liked it take like two little mini hits two or three mini hits and then like put it out because it would it would get you like comatose like falling asleep high that's i wrote down a question for that what is too high i don't

understand too high it's like too rich or too good looking or okay so i can i can explain that for me i got too high once specifically i got crossfaded because you guys know i don't drink we've talked about that um but i was hanging out with friends and they're like look you know you're safe eat your edible and get yourself on another planet and they're going to give you a few shots and like a few shots to me is like 10 shots to you. Like I have the stomach surgery. It's going to be, there's two shots. You'll take shoe shots. I think I ended up doing three. And I just, for me, I could not think straight. Um, I was anxious. I was annoyed and I wanted it to be over. And that's what too high was for me. And what about for you guys? Um, well, if I, uh, I usually vomit if I get too high.

If I've done... I've made edibles before. I'm really good at it. And I have a very complex process. And it takes a couple days to get everything done. But when I'm done, I have an incredibly powerful edible. And I ate some edibles one time. And I went to another realm of existence.

And I vomitedited and it was like that episode of south park where the boys put food up their asshole and then shit it out their mouths well because i had cooked this marijuana into like a fudge brownie like think the thickest richest fudge brownie type situation with like chocolate sauce on the top which was a huge mistake first time it was it was bad idea live and learn when i'm vomiting it's like a turd coming it's just so sticky yeah it's it's it's like a solid turd of vomit that's coming up and it's so sticky that it like dangles from the lip at the end it's just like those shits where you got to shake your ass a little bit you gotta pinch you gotta pinch it off at the end and just

i never went to another world but i and i've said it on the show so i'll keep it quick but i still fucking remember getting way too high with kyle and chiz and his girlfriend and trying to teach magic to them and there was one moment where it was like kyle or chiz or someone asked me like so do i have and it was in like one sentence that it happened where they're like so do i have to tap this Tap this forest if I also play this card. And I remember shit slowing down, getting weird in my head. But if you're too high, unlike being too drunk, you can play it off a little bit. And I remember as Chiz or whoever, maybe it was you asking me some elaborate question about order of operations in the game. My only thought in my head was keep it together.

Keep it together keep it together if you get through the next minute you're gonna be fine keep it together and then like i was between i need to go in the bathroom and just sit there alone for a while and think i need to explain how the stack works and i just remember going well you played that instant prior to that sorcery so it wouldn't go on top of this and then it like all came back together holy shit this is really like like a mind over matter thing you're like one of those because after that point there was no because like if i had had like 20 shots of alcohol i would probably die if i had that much but like if i had a ton of booze like there's no way you can get through a mental hurdle and be fine whereas

with weed it was like you get over that and then you you can coast a bit so it's not nearly as intense i've never vomited or even on that trip which is what we used an insane amount of pot yeah it's got to be edibles to make me vomit. I've never gotten what I would call too high from smoking or doing concentrate. And I've done gargantuan amounts of it. You know, just shocking amounts of it. I mean, I smoked a lot of it while you were there that time. Oh, yeah.

I bought that bong that was like two and a half feet tall and I got a nail for it so we could burn concentrate. I mean, I just remember before that episode and we were going to film because you were out on the ping pong table and I was in the guest room. We were setting up and right before Kyle's like, let's get stoned. Time to do P.K.A. And we both smoked. And as I was as he was like sitting down doing his like like setting up totally fine i was walked into that guest room like you shouldn't have done that you gotta talk for four hours and this is gonna inhibit your ability yeah yeah i had a fucking

tolerance built up i could i could do some things and then just just you wouldn't know you wouldn't know that i was stoned you know i could i'm having a great time but i was i was really worried about the munchies and so there for a little while i was on an appetite suppressant and uh when i first experimented and so i had no munchies whatsoever it was really weird being around all my friends who were like make me a sandwich and i'm like i can't make you a sandwich like make yourself a sandwich and then give it to me i'm like i don't want a sandwich like you know just usual i guess high shit um and i'm new to it so i sound like i'm 12 but um and once i got off the appetite suppressant it's weird that i still don't have the munchies yes that's not a thing that you always get. For me, I used to, when I first started smoking weed, I would always have them and it was a problem. But then like after a while, I never got

them again. It would make food taste. I feel like it makes food taste better. It does. I told this to my mom just like this, you know, whenever I got arrested because they didn't know I smoked. I was like, I just like it. I was like, food tastes better. Fucking video games are more fun. Movies are more entertaining. Sex is better. Like, everything's just... Shit's funnier. Shit's funnier.

Everything's better. And it's not that my standards have lowered. I think it's just that my perception hasn't been enhanced. I agree. And so, yeah, I never got the munchies after I started regularly smoking anymore. I thought you were pulling a bong out there for a second taylor when you got that when you pulled out the the jester thing i was like oh so it's gonna be that kind of show it's gonna be this kind of show yeah where we get banned no you can smoke weed on youtube oh not in fucking missouri not

fucking missouri though no no uh but uh but yeah no no munchies in fact like like i would i would not really want to eat sometimes if i got real high it would almost work with it to the the opposite i feel like since i eat when i'm stressed i'm eat when i'm anxious i'm eat when i'm miserable i eat when i'm happy i thought well i'm gonna want to eat high for sure nope like i'm so relaxed i just don't want to move. I don't want to eat. People have laid food in my lap and I just stared at it. What's that? Why is that there? Hot smokers is a population

not fatter. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so on average. They seem to snowboard a lot more on average. But they're also young and I wonder if they accounted for that in the study I read. Those guys are still fairly fit.

There's Sativa and Indica, right? Indica puts you just into, it can put you into a real sleepy sort of melt in the couch kind of situation. Excuse me. Sativa, on the other hand, that's the one

you'd want to smoke if you were about to go snow uh you know we were playing putt-putt and i had this little vape pen and we're just we're all passing that thing around playing putt-putt so much fun when you're stoned like that was the most fun i've ever had playing putt-putt right we were so goddamn high. I won. I've got the scorecard. I'm petty. I don't remember who won. I just remember halfway through, we were taking hits,

and it's like, that one sucked. And it's like, whatever, man. Just take another one. Who cares? Well, we left our little scorecard back on hole two which is at least nine feet from us now so let's just it's lost yeah that was a that was a good time we should do that again in a year and a half so taylor oh yeah for sure taylor and boogie are both magic enthusiasts is it like poker where like if i played a much better poker player than me there's a real chance i would

win and i could even win like two out of three hands you know even though he's better sometimes it goes like that in magic does the better player always win no not always um because there's that archetype smash ups yes but over time there are some greats of the game that have like a 75 85 win ratio even on the pro level and a lot of it is especially when you're playing physical cards not so much with arena when you're playing with the physical cards a lot of it is uh being able to read your opponent being able to bluff being able to do that kind of stuff so there's a lot professional a lot of professional poker players can cross over to magic and magic players can cross over to poker pretty regularly and the

thing about the the amateur player being able to win at poker, that is true when the amateur player doesn't care if they lose. It's when there's money at stake and you're like... There's nothing to read. Yeah, reads don't mean anything. Actions don't mean anything if you don't care about winning and losing. And that's why it can it can be difficult to play against a billionaire who's just like yeah sure all right yeah yeah magic is very

different like like i guarantee but he's book he's played magic way longer than me and he's way better than me as far as knowing all the mechanics and everything but if i were to play a really effective fast you know burn deck and he was playing a real slow build blue and didn't get a lot of cancels in there or something i would probably win right you know and that's because of the deck tech against each other whereas if you're playing that slow build he would know the better card order and the way to play it than i would right and so like uh the things that factor into magic is obviously deck archetype is one of the biggest factors. And so whether or not you have a good matchup or a bad matchup,

because those are really going to make a difference. And then you've got the luck factor of the cards that you draw, the cards that they draw, whether you draw the right lands, they draw the right lands, whether or not you draw your answers. And then you have the strategy portion, which is I know what his deck is going to do. And I know what I need to do to counter what his deck is going to do. And I know what I need to do to counter what his deck's going to do. And I know what to sideboard in and I know how to read my opponent. And so all of that does factor in. But at the end of the day, the answer to your question is

absolutely. You're not going to win all the time when you're playing magic at a professional level. And I've heard there's one pro player who wrote a book and he was talking about like being a chef in a kitchen and knowing all the shortcuts. If I were in a kitchen, I wouldn't know the most efficient way to get zest off of a lemon, but he does. So it's going to take him less time and he's going to make a better meal than I am. And magic players need to learn all the shortcuts. But when a pro player is playing a pro player and they're doing their absolute best, it

always comes down to the luck factor and the deck matchup every yeah i'll like i tried to take as much of that out when i was playing a lot i played a lot of mono red just really fast burn decks just i bought i must have bought a four what i did like i saw a lot of people you know they're like yeah i did all this research and uh you know i just looked at all the cards that were possibly available to me and I, and I, and I strategize. I'm like, why? Like, like, like that's not what they do in NASCAR. They say, well, Jimmy Johnson won with this setup last year, five times. Let's copy it. So that's what I did. I looked up the tournaments. I saw what people were winning fucking like, like, like tournament. I remember you doing that and being like, like, I felt like

a retard because I, we were talking about like deck techs and building and I would, that and being like, like I felt like a retard because I, we were talking about like deck techs and building and I would, I'd be like, yeah. So I'm looking at like these three similar meta decks and I'm trying to pull the best aspects of both. And I'm like testing it on my own and buying the cards and everything. And Kyle's like,

yeah, what I did is I, I went to top eight magic decks.com and went to buy all. And I have a deck. It's like, you son of a bitch. That's a way better idea. I just found, what are the best players in the world? The players who've been playing for

20 years or whatever and know what they're doing and have unlimited monies. What are they using for a red deck? How much does it cost? $450? They've got four ball lightning in there that are all $70 a piece or something ridiculous. Yeah, lots of

it's all offense. It's just four ones and stuff like that. It's just I don't remember the deck. I still own it. If I can remember the login for that magic website. I don't know. But I would win a lot. I would just destroy people and they would leave. They would just so and so is disconnected. They don't want to play would win a lot i would just destroy people and they would leave

they would just fucking just like so and so is disconnected like they don't want to play against this shit because i'm just like poof poof poof that's kind of how i've always played magic i'll net deck uh if i'm going to tournaments if i'm playing friday night magic i'll probably throw together my own shit and the way i'm playing arena right now i have agreed that every time a new set comes out i will put a hundred dollars into Arena and use that to draft, draft, draft until I have every card in the set that I want and need and then hold my gems for the next set. And I spent, I guess, probably about $400 or $500 on Arena

since it launched two years ago. So that's a lot for a fucking mobile game. But not that much at all compared to like Magic the Gathering Online, the predecessor, where you had to buy fucking everything. And I do still buy a case of cards from my shop, but I get it at cost now, obviously, because I'm a partner up there and have money in the shop. But that's kind of how I always play Magic,

is net deck, because I'll know I'll have all the cards. But what I'm doing with Arena is actually really surprising. I don't want, I prefer to play limited formats. I prefer to play sealed. I prefer draft, then sealed. If I'm drafting in real life, I prefer to play limited formats. I prefer to play sealed. I prefer draft then sealed. If I'm drafting in real life, I want a cube. I don't want to draft the sets. I want to draft somebody's cube.

And if I'm playing standard to get my dailies done or competing in a tournament arena, I just throw together whatever makes sense to me. And like, fuck it. If I win, I lose. It doesn't matter. Yeah. But like when I was playing tournament magic, that was the only way to play. Find the net deck. Find the most efficient version.

Find the deck that you're going to pilot the best. Practice at a shitload. Get to know the format, and then go to fucking Memphis, Tennessee, and spend three days playing Magic, trying to remember. Yeah. Chiz and I spent a lot of money on that shit. We had an arms race. It was like fucking United States and the Soviet Union. At first,

we set like... We got together and signed a treaty, like a magic proliferation agreement, if you will. It was like, all right, the Soviet chises may spend up to $75 this quarter. And the imperialist Kyles, also $75 75 dollars all right all right we we blow through our 75 like instantly and i go back to him hey uh what you feel about spending another 75 150 is kind of a round number it ain't by the way it's like you know i've been thinking that i my what is it aldrazi what are those like weird great draws yeah yeah my al-drazi deck could really be filled out with another 75 and it's yeah yeah i agree by the end we just we just abandoned the whole pact

and it was just one day i would destroy chis and he'd be like the fuck is that card how much is that and i hear him that's a hundred dollar card i'm, I only got four of them. He's just like, what the fuck? I remember you guys talking about that. Same thing. It would be like, well, I did add four of these. And then one of you would be like, Chiz, that's a $15 a piece card. You just added $60.

I'm not playing you again until I get to add another $60 worth of cards. And then Kyle would go, I actually bought $68 worth of cards. So then Kyle would go, I actually bought $68 worth of cards. So you have eight more to deal with. And then he'd be like, well, I couldn't max out the four I wanted so I've now spent $87.

And I was like, well, I'm not playing you again until I get the 18. In the end, I realized that Magic the Gathering was the only one winning. They were just like, yeah, keep it up, boys. Oh, yeah. We just dropped some new cards.

Maybe you want to take a look at those. So I'm glad I'm playing a game right now that's not pay to win. There's no microtransactions. There's none of that nonsense. I could have swore to God I paid another $100 to help me win. And Magic is not necessarily pay to win. Okay, fair enough. I've used green beatdown decks

on Magic the Gathering Arena. I haven't put any money into it, and green beatdown is the easiest one to build without putting money into it. And I've beaten decks that are clearly way more structured than mine, where they're playing mythic rare after mythic rare, and it's just like,

no, bitch, I got enough giant growths. I can still win. If you're trying to win on the cheap, green beat down is the way to go in magic yeah that's i had a very nice green deck um it was fun i to some extent you're right woody we we did because this is a beta and we're technically funding tarkov to like get their shit together and get their game made um we definitely paid a premium for our game. But the amount of content and the hours that we've gotten into it, like think about what a movie costs.

If you wanted to go to the new James Bond movie, which is delayed, of course, because of Corona, but pretend like it's not. Even if you went just by yourself, you know, if you go to a good screen, it's $18 a ticket, and you're going to want a soda and maybe some popcorn. You're coming out of there pretty light in your wallet. $30 or so? Two hours. Actually, the new one's two hours

and 50 minutes long. It's the longest James Bond ever. That aside, three hours of entertainment for $30. You're doing $10 an hour or something like that. You know, it's... Yeah, it's not bad. With Tarkov, how many hours do you have yes today maybe 12

oh come on you did oh today not to date by the way right you said today yeah i thought you said to date the weirdest thing happened yesterday i got exhausted around bedtime and went to bed so i got up today that hasn't happened since I bought the game. There's only been 19 hours in this day so far. So money for you. Woody's been playing so much. He's been playing more Tarkov than I have lately. He is.

Every time I go to get on, I look. Woody's in my spot. Woody's in my spot. There's five man squads. I'm like, oh shit, Woody's on. No, it's fine. No, you should. You just started the game.

You're in love with it. I love it i you should you should jump in there but i was like shit what he's on well maybe one of these other guys will get tuckered out soon i don't know don't be waiting for me unless you i know what he's not getting on i played with kyle at 4 a.m and i'm like kyle's got a sleep schedule like me cooking right now you know you can't call someone a pervert if you're at the strip club too. I got on a couple of nights ago at like one in the morning, like, like at one in the morning,

I, I like, I jumped on discord and I saw that Larry was streaming and I clicked his stream, opened it up. I was playing with Woody and they've got a spot open. And, uh,

and I'm, and I messaged him, Hey, if you guys are going to still be on, I'll hop in in the next game, six in the morning until, until morning until Woody and I got off. I don't know how long Woody had been playing up to that point, but it was 6 a.m. when we got off.

When Kyle mentioned that it was time to stop because the sun was coming up, I'm like, what have I done? This is all. Oh, no. It's like I've blacked out. It's a great game. It's a great game. It's a great game. And I think that we've influenced a lot of people to buy it because in the lobbies we'll see PKA-related screen names and stuff in the lobbies and stuff.

So that's pretty cool. Can I tell this story? Yeah. So Kyle was making a thing about Howard Stern and how he liked it before they used to put a thing in a girl's butt and played ring toss with it. And I was like, wouldn't anal lawn darts be a better game? You know,

because then you don't need the thing sticking out. You just aim for it. So my friend changed his Tarkov name to anal lawn darts. He thought the joke was funny. Unbeknownst to him, there's a six month cool down. He thought he was going to get yucks one night and then change it back to his real name but now he's

anal london now he's anal london but I will say six month cool down you can't change your name every six months yeah it's funny to me but it's free

they don't bring money out of you you know they there's three three or four versions of the game ranging from about 45 bucks to 145 dollars and the the key difference between them is the size of your gamma what you get to keep even if you die and oh and your stash which helps you organize things. The stash, I don't know if you can earn both. It doesn't matter. You can't. You can earn all of that in game. You can earn everything that you buy

with the $140 version and more. Like the Gamma is a large secure container. There's a Kappa that's bigger. I didn't realize Kappa was bigger than Gamma. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, it's a great great great game i don't know if i'd suggest it to a casual if you don't want if you don't

if you don't budget a fair you know a couple hours a day towards gaming maybe stick to like a left for dead or world war z or something that's the only reason i haven't played it is all my friends are nuts about it and i hear great things and i want to try it but uh i hear like it's such a time consumption and i'm trying to stay on my feet i'm trying to stay out from in front of my television yeah you can't uh you can't dip your it's difficult to just dip a toe into it because uh even like the match times are very different so call of duty you know some of those are seven minutes long in a game it just if it's in 12 is long right like 12 is long if you just think back to like

your videos back in the day you know that gives you a good compass of like like how long you can do three minute videos if you're doing a free fall and you just push everybody's shit in you can get 25 kills in three minutes sabotage yeah something crazy junkyard quickie quickie uh but with this game i'm sorry oftentimes a match is 45 minutes long and and nobody nobody in the group is like looking at their their watch you know like oh we've been here so long no because if we're still in there after 40 minutes we're rolling we're just like we're we're it's gotten even more intense because we've killed a lot of stuff to have survived for 40 minutes we have everybody else's shit i had like it's like the the longer you're in game you just double down double down double down if this game

is 42 minutes long and we have to get out of we have to get out of this place. I am already moving slower. I'm overloaded. I have so much money, in air quotes, in my backpack and in my pockets, and I'm just overflowing. And it's like if I can manage to get out of here. And there are people that camp the exits. So when you're moving strategically and communicating as a team, you know, I'm usually not on point. I'm not that guy. Maybe someday. But, you know, like Kyle or Larry or something will take point to make sure it's clear and

try and keep everyone alive and escort us out. And it is tense. And if you die, you've lost something that you've worked really hard for. You've lost your time. You've lost your time is the big thing. Like you could spend 45 minutes and have it all wiped away in the last second that doesn't tell the whole story that doesn't these if if the the situation i'm talking about where you're really loaded up happens maybe once every 12 hours right even though this particular time happened 45 well maybe more if you're a better player but but um like for me

it's like this is my gem of the day. I hope I can make it work. There was a guy waiting on us last night when we tried to get out. He was up on the dome area. Kyle killed him. Yeah. Kyle killed him. I think Kyle gave me that guy's gun. And I still have it, and I still like it.

Can they hear your chat if you're within range? This is a cool thing in the game. So there's no, what do they call it, VOIP, voice over and whatever. There's thing in the game. So there's no what they call it vo IP voice over and whatever There's no voice in game now rust on the other hand One of the reasons I think rust is so toxic I can hold a fucking key and I can talk out loud My character's mouth moves and anybody within proximity can hear it just like it's real fucking life Obviously we can talk a discord and that's just between us But if I want to mock the people who are hiding in their base,

or vice versa, if they're outside my base trying to get in, and I want to mock them, I can. I can say the most atrocious things you can imagine, and people do. In this game, you can only do voice commands. So you have a list of things your character can say. And you can hotkey those so your character can say and you can you can uh hotkey those so that you can say things like throw down your weapons or fucking cocksucker you know like all sorts of stuff like that don't shoot this don't shoot pick it up for the two of us basically yeah yeah but

my character's fucking russian but it's too i hate it i can I hate it. All I can say is Guchki-lach-lach-i-dash! And I don't know what it means. My guy speaks gobbledygook. And I have never had a chance to A, intimidate someone, or B, befriend them. It's just always, they're always like, I don't know what he said, but there's a bad guy over there. That's what they think when they hear

my character talk. Everybody else is fucking giving English commands, and it sounds it's in a cool voice but yeah there's no in-game voice there are hand signals you know all the gestures you might imagine thumbs up come here fuck you all over there uh things like that and then there are pre-programmed voice commands that really cover all the bases. Things like, ah, I'm hit, enemy spotted, follow me, fuck you. Suck my dick.

Throw your gun down, knives only, you know, stuff like that. Yeah. ASL. ASL. ASEC location. Oh, my bad. Wanna cyber. Let's go.

I thought it meant American Sign Language. Yeah, it's American Sign Language. Yes. American Sign Language. It's like, you are 12 and a female from Finland. Nice. Calm down, Onision. Let me do an ad. It feels like time. It feels like time.

I'll tell everyone about Postmates. No, no I won't. You know what? I'm going to tell them about SmartMouth. Because I did some SmartMouth today. I did no I won't. You know what? I'm going to tell them about smart mouth. Because I did some smart mouth today. I did. I sound like a drug. I did some smart mouth today. My breath's so clean. Everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath. That humid awful smell. It keeps you from focusing

on anything other than finding an excuse to leave. Now just think about all the times that you were the gross smelly one and the other person was thinking about trying to get away. You probably can't. Think of any examples and that's because we rarely have an accurate read on our own bad breath odor. In other words, you could be walking around with trash mouth and not even realize that you're grossing everyone out. That's why SmartMouth was invented.

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SmartMouth.com slash PKA for your free coupon. Really works. Good stuff. That's good stuff. Have you noticed the price of Purell and other hand sanitizers has skyrocketed? No, has it? Yeah.

You just go on Amazon, and you can see. Off the top of my head, a small bottle, $25. The size bottle that you would actually want, $50. I've been telling Kitty. I was like, she's got her Etsy store, One Tree Lane. Check it out. I'm like, you've got to make Purell. Get on it.

Get on it. Everybody needs it. Everybody wants it. It's a simple formula. She has a lab, essentially. I'm like, you have everything you need to make it. She's like, soap works better. I'm like, don't say that!

Get out of here! This is about convenience. You need to be making little pump jars of fucking Purell and pumping that shit out for $10 a bottle. You're onto something, right? The Purell and pumping that shit out for $10 a bottle. You're, you're onto something, right? The Purell, you don't need like a sink and all that stuff.

You just kind of wipe it and evaporates. And yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to hit her up again tomorrow and tell her, uh, she really needs to get on it. Uh, because like,

she should buy some of the containers. Like one of the things that's cool, but cool about Purell is they have these little, um, um, carabiner type bottles that are like snap onto your belt loop. And if you were in the restaurant industry or any, any of those handshaking industries, car sales would be a big one. Um, any, anything where you're touching lots of people,

grabbing lots of door handles, just having that there. Like I don't go out a ton, but when I went to go play, uh, airsoft the other day, I was like, I was looking at that airsoft gun like, shit. I had my Purell. I pumped it out. I got so much on my hands that it was like puddled and I rubbed it down. I rubbed the gun down with Purell. In a corner, by the way, when my back turned to everyone. I didn't want anybody to know

what I was doing over there because I felt like I looked like a pussy. Good strategy. Take the gun, turn around, kind of rub it down. I don't want anybody to think i'm a jerk hey guys we're yeah in just a minute let's go yeah i'm almost finished yeah i'm i'm not concerned about the corona i'm at a two that's my threat level threat level lazy afternoon not threat threat level midnight but i did buy all that food, you know. I have so, so much food.

If I were in the scenario where, like, let's say it mutated. Now it's killing 50% of people. And it's just as communicable. And, like, now the garbage men are coming. And now if a car hits a power line, the power company people are too sick to get out and fix it. You know, utilities start failing. I had enough to get out and fix it. Utilities start failing. I got enough food for two or three months. And water.

You're ready? I'm not ready. You'll kill somebody, take their things. That's the plan. I have a video. You probably got a neighbor or two you already don't like. I like my neighbors. I'm pretty sure I'm just fucked, but honestly, I can do about six months with

just water you just need vitamins and water my friend yeah i think i'll be all right vitamin water and that little pupper there no i already tried to eat him once he looks so afraid i'm kidding i'm kidding this is the most spoiled dog in the world. I live my life and feel. He ate whole rotisserie chicken last night. One bite. In this narrative that I was writing,

that was an idea I had at one point. I was going to like, you know, quitting YouTube, trying to find like, instead, trying to find different YouTube channels I was writing. That was an idea I had at one point. I was going to like, you know, quitting YouTube, trying to find like, instead trying to find different YouTube channels I could make. And one was going to be like a cooking channel. And I was just going to

take the dog and put him in an oven and pull out a rotisserie chicken. That's how this got started. Those disgusting Chinese markets that everybody feels like it's racist to even discuss. Something about bats? Does that sound right? Dude, they eat everything. First of all, they torture dogs to death for food consumption.

That's not an exaggeration. They skin them alive and beat them and torture them in terrible, terrible ways because they believe that the pain that the animal feels tenderizes the meat. And you can find this on YouTube. It's probably even more prevalent on places like LiveLeak where they can actually show you. You'll know this. Don't deer hunters feel the opposite? The complete opposite. Like if you shoot an animal and it runs, the adrenaline makes the meat taste gamey. When people describe a gamey taste of venison, it's because I've been told,

and I believe, the adrenaline that the muscles are now full of because it's been dumped into the animal system from fear and fight or flight mechanism. When you drop a deer, when you shoot a deer with a large caliber weapon in the heart and he falls over fucking dead, like he's dead when he hits the ground, he doesn't take a step. And that's how all of my kills always were. I had maybe one or two deer that took more than a step and that was, that was archery. Well, there was actually every archery kill they ran. That's just the nature of it. But with a rifle, you shoot one with a 270 or a 308 or a seven millimeter

Magnum, which is what I used in the heart. He drops dead right there. He doesn't feel any pain. It's not only, not only is it more hum humane but the meat tastes better and they have the opposite thought process but they don't just eat dogs and cats they eat bats and weird rat something called a raccoon dog i saw a video of that the other day it looks like a weird funky raccoon i don't know and this guy's like got it like a string tied to its it's alive he's got a string like tied to its little back paw and he's like holding it on like a shepherd's crook. You know, one of those shepherd's cane things. You're talking about Chinese people?

Yeah. And he's just like walking around, and the guy's like, what the fuck is that? He's like, raccoon dog. You never seen before? He's like, no, I haven't. What are you doing? Oh, you want? Very tasty. Very tasty. Make you strong. Make you virile. That's the other thing.

It's a body of disease that they give you. You come out stronger, better. Will it make me aggressive, Joe? Do you feel like... It makes you very good at math. They had this medicated wine, right? It looked like one of those medical jars that's, call it a gallon and a half,

with the big top on the top that cantilevers down and locks. It's full of an amber-colored liquid. medical jars that that's call it a gallon and a half with the big top on the top that like cantilevers down and locks and it's full of an amber colored liquid and inside is an entire cobra about six more cobra heads and there was a large animal like a duck and a duck and they drowned the duck in the in the wine that's how died. And they're all floating in there. And the guy goes, what's this? And you go, oh, this medicated wine. You never seen before?

And he's like, no. What's it do? Oh, it make you virile. It make you virile. It make you powerful. Any disease, it cure arthritis, mumps, infertility. It's like, what won't it cure why is one of the highest

IQ countries on earth eating bats in soup with the fur still on it it's almost like they cheated testing and were wrong about that whole IQ thing you can't really cheat on an IQ test though unless you have an answer sheet in front of you who's given the tests?

Okay. It's like the Russians in the fucking 2012 Olympics. Like, you can't really cheat on a urine test. Oh, unless we drill a hole in the wall and send a robot in to take the urine sample and replace it with these specially manufactured bottles. You could just take the test a couple times. Holy shit!

That's devious as fuck! I took an online IQ test. Wanted an even higher result. Took it again. Learned from my mistakes. Genius. Excellent. I've taken... I mean, there is not a single online

IQ test that you can take that will say, you are a doozy they're all like you you're my man you're a genius you knew exactly the difference between a triangle and an octagon what i'm talking about actually is the mint you can take or you could anyway the ments uh entrance exam you have to have a certain IQ for what top 2% is that what they say? Mensa is a scam as well. Like people with an IQ of 150 don't join organizations

that say they have an IQ of 150 because they make lots of money you know like they don't do that. Or that was my always understanding is like the only person who wants to join Mensa is someone who's like kind of insecure about it. You have to be too honest to pass the test just saying. You've watched the Stern show? The only person who wants to join Mensa is someone who's kind of insecure about it. You'd be too honest to pass the test. Just saying. You've watched the Stern show where they do the IQ?

Yeah. No, I haven't seen that one. So they've done it a couple times. And everybody in the crowd takes the IQ test. Except for Howard, of course. That proves he's actually the smartest. Yes. Checkmate, boys.

And so they start getting these bets together and they get like a pregame where two guys are arguing. I know I'm smarter than you, you piece of shit. Fuck you. I'm smarter. And they start coming with awful bets about what's going to happen

if this guy loses or that guy loses. And then there's a score reveal after they have a properly administered IQ test. Who are the people? I want to guess the higher scores. It's everybody in the room, right? Well, they've had a lot of different cast over the years. Yeah, I don't have them memorized,

but I want to say Gary has like 109 IQ, 110, you know, just above average. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always thought Fred would do curiously well. Let me see if I can find Fred's, because Fred is, in my opinion fred is probably a an actual like savant of some kind there was a funny clip on on twitter of like a some gaming team i guess that content was like yeah that's incredibly incredibly fucking smart but there was

there was a a you know you not youtube uh professional gaming team whatever it's called and they were all doing like an online IQ test or maybe a real IQ test. And it was like 110, 107, you know, 125, 99, 106. And then one poor fucker got up there and took it and got an 87 or something. And everybody's like, oh, oh. And that's not the kind of like diss you can get over you can't be like no uh like you're gonna kind of have to be like

fuck the worst part of this is i can't come up with a comeback yeah i actually have the scores here if you care like i know what he listens a little bit so you might know sal governali, former stockbroker, became a key part of the show doing writing, and he did a lot of the phone bits. 102 IQ. He always seemed like kind of a dope who was a little bit creative,

but not really. More of like a shock sort of comedy guy. J.D. Harmeyer. He's the guy who has a bit of a speech impediment. He mumbles a lot, and he was famous for not washing his sheets for an entire year and being kind of gross and a bit of a himself. That's not gross. That's normal.

106. He's also a horrendous-looking human being. So that's a little above average, too. Ralph Cirella, who's I believe that's Howard's hairstylist and good friend. 112, quite high. Richard Christie, who is the redneck from Kansas, who grew up eating raccoon and possum and all that nonsense. 117, pretty impressive from Richard.

John Kaplan with a 118. I'm not all that familiar with him. Scott DePace, lost to John Kaplan. I think those are the two who had the uh the the bet going uh and i'm looking for more let's see uh howard noted that each scored within a point of each other but with a score of 122 scott the pace was declared the winner gary delabate was no slouch with 121 i was wrong about what i said earlier um so yeah they all did interestingly i believe they tested some other people, like maybe a Whack Packer or something like that,

and it was tellingly, like in the 70s or something like that, like a literal Forrest Gump type situation. In the 70s? Yeah, well, I mean, a lot of the Whack Packers are actually retarded. They're the definition of retardation. What's the cutoff for retarded? Because before PC stuff, there used to be

idiot, retard, moron. Moron was an actual one. Medical term, yeah. You're a moron, Mr. Voss. I wonder if that'll happen to autistic at some point right because now like honest and autistic is used so much as like a dig if they'll change like back in the 2020s they actually called people artistic that was like a medical diagnosis well we're not

letting that one slip through our fingers boys we're not letting that one slip through we're keeping that strong tight yeah it's yeah those things are interesting and this was kind of this was a real iq test not an yes they had to go to a they had to go to a place or they had a professional administer the test so they even had one of the parts of the test is um oh pattern recognition and puzzle solving yeah pattern recognition and puzzle solving exactly so so you you've got things in front of you that you have to move around and manipulate in the described manner. And so you can't really do that online.

I mean, you could, but it would be the same. It'd be different. But yeah, they did a legitimate IQ test. The same way that they do a lie detector test. They have a guy who spent his life administering lie detector tests come in. And, you know, have you ever had he's got this awful voice. If you're a Stern fan, you're right. If you ever had feelings for another man, have you been sexually attracted to another man?

Have you had an erection because of another man? Like things like that down this whole line. And then there's the big reveal at the end. All these humiliating things. Whenever there's a little disagreement between staff members or between Howard and somebody. You know what? Let's get the lie detector guy in here. We'll get to the bottom of this.

See, that's a good bit. Did you indeed piss on the lid of the toilet seat? Did you ever use howard's toilet when he was not here i mean like you can get you can get a lot of replicability and validity out of iq tests but from a fucking lie detector how reliable is that shit not at all so no not at all i've done a lot of research about lie detector tests um they are not at all reliable it measures just measuring like psych reliable. It measures how anxious you are. It's just measuring psychosomatic responses. Yeah, how anxious

you are. So if you're a naturally anxious person, maybe you get off. Ted Bundy passed his, by the way. Because your baseline test, you're already so anxious that you're normal. It's so psychic. My strategy for a lie detector, don't know if it would work, is to be anxious for the baseline test. When they say, is that your name?

I'll be like you know like try and fuck with it and then do calm but like i'll have a natural anxiousness and and hopefully they equal and my lies look like truce so you can put a thumbtack in your shoe i've heard of that before yeah is that true i don't know yes you ever step on a thumbtack even a little bit your heart rate not on my own volition yeah your heart rate jumps up, you'll have this flash, like a heat flash, you'll perspire a little bit. All things that are measured by this thing. I'll ask you if there's a thumbtack in your shoe and find out.

Well, fine, Woody. What? I just thought you were wearing flip-flops. I just wanted to figure out that one thing i've actually read that the entire point of lie detector test is kind of like the same as like uh the drug dogs right or whatever basically they're trying to use it as

a tool to get you to admit the shit yep right like it's just another tool from the get you a sign of confession tactic right it's a thing to throw you off of your game um that i've had lawyers tell me many times like never never do that never do that never give the cops your phone never never take a lie detector test like there's a whole bunch of them they y'all have to pay for your own legal advice i did but but they'll tell you any lawyer will tell you no it's bullshit don't do don't fucking do that it's nonsense

yeah it's interrogation tactic. Remember the episode of The Wire when they've got this poor gentleman who has actually committed a murder or something like that. And they like, I don't remember exactly how they hooked him up, but they like duct taped a wire

to each of his fingers and walked him over to the copy machine. And they're just copying a piece of paper that says lie over and over like did you do it nah man i didn't do it beep beep and it goes and it copied it just is a photocopy it just says lie lie he goes shit i've never watched the wire but that is a hilarious price for a good sketch comedy bit there's a scene where all they do is say fuck right is it fuck and or maybe fucking motherfucker yeah fucker yeah and uh it's funny what they just use different inflections in the whole thing and they just say the one word you really get what they're it's a conversation it's a whole conversation

with with only one or two vocabulary words and they're both iterations of the same word yeah yeah just from the visuals and and the way they emote fuck you're he's just like fuck that's surprise right fuck now he's angry and frustrated and it's just one thing after another they're they're they're like investigating an old crime scene that was misdiagnosed, if you will, by the investigating officers. They're seeing what really went down, and that's telling them who actually did this homicide. And it's someone who they're currently

investigating, and they're realizing step by step, fuck, we were wrong. They were wrong. Like recognition. Yeah. You hit the C a little harder than the K on that fuck? The Wire is a top five TV show ever.

It absolutely is. It's right up there with The Sopranos. I don't know. I'd have to sit down. I used to put Game of Thrones up there, but Game of Thrones failed so hard at the end that I'll never re-watch it again. I re-watch everything, right? I've re-watched The Office tons of times. I'm never re-watching Game of Thrones failed so hard at the end that I'll never re-watch it again. I re-watch everything, right? I've re-watched The Office tons of times.

I'm never re-watching Game of Thrones. Fuck that shit. I'm never going to re-watch it. I really am not. It's been ruined for me. Yep, same. That's what happened to Lord of the Rings when The Hobbit came out.

Go back two years. Two and a half years, I guess. And if any of us had been asked, do you think that they can fuck up Game of Thrones so bad that not only will you dislike the ending but you won't ever rewatch this series

all four of us I guarantee would have been like there's no way there's no way they would fuck it up that bad every season I would time it out season four is gonna begin in three weeks i'll watch seasons one two and three over the next few weeks so i'm fresh as fuck and i did that for years like like like when season six was coming out i watched one

through five again i've seen season one of that show six or seven times like like i've seen season one of that show six or seven times. I've seen season two five or six times. I've seen the final season once. I'll only watch it once. I will never watch it again. Watching Arya kill the Night King, something died inside me. I want to watch Podrick sing that song again. This doesn't make any sense. Remember when Podrick sang the song in season eight?

It was a good point. That was a good point. You know what else I'm down on now? I rewatched it the other day. The Witcher. I'm changing my vote. I'm changing my vote. Is it shitty now?

It's shitty now. It's Xena, Warrior, Princess. Isn't it only like seven episodes in or like first season maybe? It's eight or 10. I don't remember which. My problem with The Witcher is it's a little like listening to an audiobook on Shuffle. Please tell me when you change times forwards and backwards and what the fuck is happening in this.

Every time I watch an episode, I was like, all right, I think I like that. Let's go to Wikipedia and make sure I understood it. It's almost like because I had just... Don't you love that retroactive thing you do when you're watching shows where you'll be like, let me just kind of confirm that I got it. And then you read a totally different thing

than what you got. And in your brain, you're like, yeah, but like I got that too. Reinternalize it like you got it and you don't at all. I can tell Woody's resonating with this. I definitely do. I think it's just an okay show.

I think it's just an okay show. And what happened was, we're like abused spouses, right? We just got out of counseling. We just got out of the halfway house that got us away from our abusive husband, which was Game of Thrones. And we're like, oh, look at this. Here's a good guy. He has slapped me once.

He never screams at me in front of his friends. He never calls me a filthy pig. Oh, he's such a nice guy. I mean, yeah, he's one of those window washer guys at the red light, but he's a nice guy. I think that's what fucking happened to Witcher. You know what saved Game of thrones was the release right at the end of game of thrones of chernobyl because they basically left off with the absolutely abysmal cataclysmic failure of game of thrones and they

went right into chernobyl which was by all accounts i've i've never spoken to someone who didn't think chernobyl was incredible i think what you mean is what saved hbo hbo yeah sorry i should have said like that yeah what what kept their kind of momentum going were shows like that and now the outsider is doing incredible i i watched you didn't remind me this past week and literally two nights ago i was like i haven't't seen The Outsider yet. And so I watched it. You were watching Curb Your Enthusiasm when I was watching The Outsider and I didn't want to interrupt you. But I was watching it.

Go ahead. I'm sorry I interrupted. Oh, no, no, no. I loved The Outsider. I'm also watching a bunch of Curb now. And other than the fact that Larry David isn't a very good actor, it's hilarious. I don't know where you people find time to consume all this media. I mean, I assume we're all playing 18 hours a day.

I got rubles to make, motherfucker. After Escape for Tarkov, there's hardly time for anything. When Larry David is telling Jason Alexander, who's so depressed, who's like, you know, a good idea for your show would be just where you are right now. A guy who's so tired of his character that he gets sick of the association with it. He can't get work because of it. And it's just following your life as someone who's sick of being George Costanza.

And Jason Alexander's like, yeah, yeah, this is good, Larry. This is good. You want to start this? And Larry's like, no, I got a job on Monday. Oh, you're working on another show no i'm selling cars and he starts selling cars in the most embarrassing way possible there are times on that show where i have to pick up my phone and like look at hockey scores or the hockey reddit because i'm like this is the the black family thing oh the dermatologist where he has to go to the black guy's family and get the dermatologist note it's i couldn't watch i had to look away it was so uncomfortable and the blacks have moved in at

this point right to be clear to the listers their last name is blacks but they're also black yeah yeah but when he says the blacks have moved in that's like saying the woodworths have and they use that in the show like they play that up a lot he's like yeah your name's black that'd be like if uh what did he say if my name was jew or something like that yeah it's uh it's a great show but the outsider is one more episode left, by the way. That's it. How was The Watchmen? Did you guys enjoy that at all? Boo.

Fucking boo. I hated it. Look, I love nerdy shit. I'm a huge Battlestar Galactica fan. I love Star Trek. I can get into some nitty gritty fucking sci-fi nonsense. I love superheroes. I don't have fatigue yet. I've watched all of the Marvel movies and all of the DC movies. I've seen them

all. I love the other guys on Amazon. The shitty superhero show where they're villains technically. They're part of a big corporation. Is it called The Boys? The Boys. The Boys.

The Boys. I love that. bad. My bad. Yeah, The Boys. I love that. Watchmen is garbage. Watchmen is some PC shit that they're trying to shovel down your fucking throat with all their nonsense. Every white man in that show is either a villain. And I don't mean just like, I tied her to the railroad tracks. I mean, they're the clan. The,

the enemy in this, in this superhero show is the KKK. All right. Every, our main character is, is it set in modern day or like the future in the future? 70s. No,

in the future of us, there are flashbacks. Our heroes are battling the clan from 1920 to 2030 or something like that it's nonsensical everybody is is is an i don't know a member of the lgb lbgq or something they made the fucking blue man a black man inexplicably like and and at first they had an excuse for it's like hey you should only be blue he wants to live a human life, right? Dr. Manhattan, who is essentially a god. His powers are so far ranging and powerful.

He lives in all frames of time simultaneously. He sees the future, the past, everything in between. He is experiencing them all simultaneously. He can manipulate matter and energy and time and space. He is a god. I remember the movie. Was he doing his smug thing as a black guy? Oh, very.

Where he's like, man, you don't even understand what's really going on, do you? Yes, pretty much. Was his clock down constantly? I don't remember seeing the dong. I do. Actually, I think we saw his actual dong of the actor, and the actor is a big old dick.

He must be seven inches soft it's just it's it's hanging low it's swinging low sweet chariot that's big to you yeah it's just it's like a fucking grandfather clock every time he takes a fucking step it's slapping his thighs he's getting down there yeah it's outrageous so like they explain it with like he wants a relationship with this woman and he tells her hey you pick my physical form i want to live as a man and they literally go to the morgue and like roll out some bodies and she's like this one here this attractive well-hung muscular muscular black man. Be this guy. That's a scene?

Dude, that sounds so stupid. And he goes, coo. Wait, the genius of the universe who can do anything in the world needs to look at dead people before he can assume a different form? They may have explained that somehow. I only watched the show once. Anyway, she picks the black guy. But at some point, he erases his own memory he becomes that black man essentially and lives with her for years

and uh and there comes a time when dude this show when he needs to wake up out of his nonsense because we need dr manhattan people have figured out that you are dr manhattan and they're coming for you and you've got to be present you can't be leon anymore you've got to be fucking dr manhattan and she takes a hammer with the sharp end and skulls him fucking skulls her husband right there in the kitchen breaks his head apart and he comes to his dr manhattan he's all glowy and blue and floating six inches off the ground or some shit and he's still black. Can he die? That's the whole

premise of the show. They're trying to kill Dr. Manhattan. They've created this big, crazy machine to contain, kill, sap his power, and put it into another individual. That's what the super villain. But he's blue, right? He's just a black guy playing a blooper he's a black man clearly the same actor he's still in the same physical form as he was as

the black man but now he's glowy and blue it just doesn't make sense so in the movie i guess he was a white guy it's hard to say he was a blue guy though like he was he was he started as a white guy and he still looked like the white guy. He was just glowy and blue. I thought he was a ghost. He wasn't transparent, but somehow I felt like he almost was. He had an aura. He was translucent.

Is he basically the same in the TV show? He has the same glowy blueness, but when he first meets his love interest interest they don't show his face at all and he's speaking with a white guy's voice and they never shave chapelle white guy voice well i guess i'll pay my taxes a bit early again this year to keep the stress off my mind yeah yeah they won't show his face because they don't want two actors playing this guy

clearly they just want the black guy playing him. And then they pick a body out for him and he becomes that guy. And he's a black man. Not glowy, nothing crazy. Until he has to transform back into Dr. Manhattan. And when he does that, he stays black man.

Did Dr. Manhattan have a race, though? I just remember him being blue. And he had some symbol on his forehead he drew that that's his fucking symbol dr manhattan was a white guy who got locked into like a particle accelerator or some shit at like los alamos labs or somewhere and it broke him down atom by atom and then he self-assembled himself because of the trans the changes that it made to him and And he becomes Dr. Manhattan. And then Dr. Manhattan becomes a black guy.

Yes. In the TV show on HBO. Like I said, there's only... This whole show sounds really fucking bad. He looks so fucking bad. I googled him, and I guess this is him. And he looks so fucking bad. It's just so bad.

There's only one white man in the show who's not either... and he looks so fucking bad. It's just so bad. There's only one white man in the show who's not either... Just tap the search chip below. What the fuck? Alexa, shut the fuck up. Every white man in the show is either a buffoon, a walking joke,

or a villain. Or the Klan, which is essentially a villain. But that's another level of villain. They might as well be Nazis. Nazis would have been better than the Klan. The is essentially a villain. But that's another level of villain. They might as well be Nazis. Nazis would have been better than the Klan. The Klan is just silly. They're beating up black people and hanging them.

The Klan outfits look so silly. They're so absurd. Really? At least if Nazis were the bad guy, they would have had nice suits, looked villainous. nice suits looked looked villainous you know they a clan guy if you saw some guy in a clan outfit walking around in public would your thought be oh no i'm in danger or what a fucking loser well why would i be in danger we've seen my genetic results i mean i haven't seen my genetics results i don't know you mean the lighting that you're under right now is burning your skin.

That's fair. So yeah, I hated it. I hated it. And I'm so nerdy when it comes to entertainment. I mentioned all the shows I like. I like sci-fi, hard sci-fi, gritty sci-fi, classic sci-fi, all of the above. Everything from Battlestar Galactica

to Star Trek to The Expanse. I love it all. By the way, the new Star Treks are fucking nonsense as well. For the same reason Watchmen is. They're just so fucking politically correct and they've gotten so far away from making an actual Star Trek show they want to be The Expanse, but not

really. It's awful. The only time I give a shit about the race of a character is if it's based on a historical, even a fictional historical area. So if they make a story about Game of Thrones, where it's a fictional kind of Western European world, then yeah, you want people who kind of look Western European. If they were going to make a fantasy show about Shaka Zulu or a fantasy version of that, like Wakanda. If I'm watching Mulan,

a bunch of white guys, if there's some, if there's, if, if a Conor McGregor looking fuck is like, Oh yeah. Yeah. You came right here into Wakanda and you took what we had.

You fucking ruined it. You fucking ruined it. We had all the best hair and you fucking did it. I'd be like, I'm not, I'm not buying in because you look like someone who... Black power. Yeah, it would

resonate. It'd be like, why the fuck is this redhead Irish fuck representing an African? That takes you out of it. But other than that, I don't really care. Especially not in superhero shit. I'm the same way. I get a lot more joy out of seeing people who are into superhero shit get upset about it. I just don't care i'm the same way i get a lot more joy out of seeing people who are into superhero shit get upset about it like i i just don't like the the the the white walk i don't

like white washing i don't like black washing like i don't like that the like i said that i was talking about the other day that the character in end game that's supposed to be like when they go back in time and they have to get that stone from um dr strange's the lady who had the time stone or whatever she's supposed to be buddhist maybe supposed to be a male buddhist monk but china doesn't like the buddhists so we had to nix that and we had to make her a female um what's the the um druid a female druid now to appease the chinese right come on i i want them to be what they are supposed to be. Spawn's a black man. If you make Spawn and he's white, I'm upset because it is a black character. All right. Leave,

leave him alone. You need that continuity to keep you attached to the character. If Wolverine is American, I'm upset. That's a fucking good old Canadian boy. Is he not? Oh yeah. He's Canadian. I didn't know what the fuck and they fucking ruined the Dark Tower movie I mean I love Idris Elba I did not want him to play fucking Roland for god's sakes it didn't make a lot of sense I read uh I read that book in prison by the way I wasn't a huge fan uh I read a lot of Stephen King in prison did you read the whole series all seven I couldn't get past the first one I couldn't get past the first one the first one is written backwards and it's kind of annoying once you get to the second book it's really good the third book will hook you

the fourth book it takes a lot to get through and then five six and seven fucking i'll tell you what's amazing and they made a pretty damn good tv show of it and that's 11 22 63 are you familiar with that great fucking show i tried watching that it didn't suck me in maybe i need to give it more time maybe the book just makes me makes it even better for me because having read that it's a thick book all right like and there's it's really fleshed out a lot more than than what you get uh from the tv show like you get to see like i mean they they outright changed how much time he has when he goes back because that's the whole you know pitching point is like oh yeah i can go back in time but only to maybe in the show it was two

years before jfk dies or three in the book i think it's five and he fucks up once and has to do it over like like there's a couple times there's one time where he stays for like six months or something like that to do some stuff well reset like like. He's doing time loopy shit for like a decade or something like that by the end of it. I love, love the book. I'm a big Stephen King fan after that. I read a lot of Stephen King in there. I read It.

I had never actually read It, the whole thing. I read... Great book till the ending. I'm reading Under the Dome right now. You didn't like The Child Orgy? Or Gang Bang? Stephen King honestly can't finish the fucking book but

the worst ending is not it the worst ending is no it's uh dream catcher the mood the world is saved by a bacon sandwich that's a that's real the fucking universe the fucking planet is saved by inter from intergalactic aliens by a goddamned bacon sandwich you're right that was that was terrible i don't see the problem the the movie was was uh one of my like guilty pleasures it's not a good movie but i like it um i like the actors in it you know i like a lot of these guys no actually i'm talking about dreamcatcher morgan fucking freeman's a dreamcatcher dude how do they trick him into that there's a lot of guys that are in there that's like they got you too what do they have on you and the last thing they would have expected is that

a bacon sandwich saved the day remember his eyebrows remember morgan freeman's eyebrows and dream catcher i'm gonna i'm gonna get a picture of him real quick they're not see that show me that yeah yeah yeah i like steven king i see that a lot of him real quick. They're nonsense. No, I see that. Show me that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like Stephen King. I see that a lot of woke people are trying to give him shit right now. They put him on the subreddit called Men Writing Women because he always describes the characters very completely. He talks about women's tits, all right? And when I'm reading and I'm picturing a woman, I want to know what her tits look like, all

right? And if I'm reading about a man, I want to know how big he is, how strong he is. So if he has to do some physical shit later, I need to know. I need to know if he's a good-looking guy so it makes sense if he's in a... Is he ugly? Does he have a scar on his face?

I want a full physical fucking description. I want to know how big his dick is so I know what his confidence level's like. Kyle, you should know by now, describing anything in any manner of media, whether it's books, TV, radio, about a woman that's not flattering is inherently sexist. But if you are flattering, then that is alienating to the other female audience if they don't possess those attributes, and that is also sexist. Check out these eyebrows, boys.

You just crossed the Curtis line. Jesus Christ. They're nuts. That's what I'm going to look like when I'm older with my fins on my eyebrows. I've got some long ones. Oh, I got some seriously long boys

up here. I usually get in there and trim them. I was getting a haircut one time and without asking that bitch took the trimmer, put it on like four and zzzz. And I was like, oh, okay. I wasn't prepared.

Dude, welcome to my world. I have the opposite problem. Constantly, they're trimming my eyebrows when I don't ask them to. I don't really, what do I have? Two-thirds of an eyebrow? That's just what I look like. If I could lend you half a brow i would they're actually just like blonde or something on this i want you why you dry them

draw them the rest of the way because like i i got i got it all my dads are basically gone you know because he's getting toward his he's getting late 60s now they're like gone and i'm thinking like oh i don't think I'll look good with that. Do you lose your eyebrows when you get older? Yeah. They thinned out. You've still got the hairline, Kyle, of an 11-year-old. It's looking great.

You're fine. Hanging on to it. Your eyebrows also fine. Are you looking at your dad as like, this is a forecast for my future? I should prepare? Yeah, a little bit.

He went gray early though. Like, all right, not early. I'm going gray on my sides. He didn't go as gray as some people. I got gray down here, a little bit in my beard on my chin. And I've got like maybe like a spare hair here and there that's gray on my head. But I remember like, I think my dad was pretty gray by 40, like his hair.

It was starting to turn like salt and pepper by 40, I would say. Salt and pepper is a good look for men. That's why they sell touch of gray for men and not touch of gray for women. What is touch of gray? Does it add gray? No, it's like- It leaves a little. Yeah, exactly. It'll leave a tad of gray. I always thought- A touch of gray for women what is touch does it add gray no it's like it leaves a little it'll yeah exactly it'll leave a tad of gray i always thought touch of gray you could say i thought

leaving a touch of gray was so that it didn't look fake exactly yeah okay yeah yeah like but it's also not a bad look having just dyed my beard it's a lot darker than i would like i fucking kind of hate it i kind of miss miss the gray, honestly. Do you have gray head hair, Boogie, at all? Very little. It's mostly like one out of a hundred hairs is a little gray. I'm only 28 and I'm getting tons of grays on my side.

Whenever I was trying to come up with what F.E.S. Russia was going to look like because I'd never shown anybody what I looked like, I had these ridiculous ideas for what this character should look like, because at the time I didn't realize this was going to be like a weekly bit. I was like, oh, this is going to be this little silly thing I do real quick. I'll have to do this maybe once a month or once every two months. I went and got a spirit gum, which is basically like glue for your

face. And I'm putting a fake beard on on so i've got this full big daddy beard like like like like a thick russian fucking winter beard and i'm i'm fucking i'm what else did i do oh and i hated it it was so itchy i couldn't stand it so i was like all right well maybe if maybe if i color my beard in and make it black like instead of brownish blonde which is what mine is so so it looks even thinner than it actually is maybe that'll be cool and make it black like instead of brownish blonde which is what mine is so so it so it looks even thinner than it actually is maybe that'll be cool and so i'm like dyeing my beard black and i guess like i used so much of it that it dyed my skin black jesus you fucking retard it was awful it was off there were wigs involved at one point i'm looking

at all these wigs. Like, it was going to be the whole... I was basically going Dr. Disrespect with it. Like, I was going to a whole other human being. Because, like, ideally, I would be able to be me and him, you know, in separate videos. I even had this thought one time when people started, like, thinking that maybe I was him. I was like, what if I got Scott to be me? My cousin Scott. Like, what if I got Scott to be me, my cousin Scott?

What if I pretended like FPS Kyle looks like Scott and I do this whole he reads lines and I do voiceover and I spend hours syncing it, making it perfect until I have Scott on camera going, hey guys, look, I know a lot of you think

that I'm that Russian guy, but I don't know. I know him. He's a cool guy. Subscribe. But not me. Anyway. That would have taken forever. It would have taken forever. Plus, Scott is the worst actor ever. He's terrible on camera. Did you watch

the Gator video that I made? Yeah, it's terrible. It's terrible. It's fucking terrible he is so awkward on film i i've you know what i've never finished that video i have started it and left did you see the one where he drinks the uh the the dough urine yeah yeah yeah that was funny i actually like that one that that was a good bit i like that he's uh he's sitting there and like the whole idea is he's going to be like the redneck fps russia but for like hunting gear and stuff like that we'll take hunting and we'll make it extreme

the same way fps russia takes like gun videos and makes them extreme and uh and so instead of using a traditional hunting rifle he's got like an AR-10 semi-automatic rifle with a military scope on it. He hunts pigs with PVS night vision goggles. And so we've got him doing a little product review, a comedic product review. And first he's like, first product we got here is the...

Do you want to watch it? Me watch it? Let me see if I can find it. Well, as long as the owner of the video doesn't claim us. I certainly won't. Let's see. And then I've got a really funny video that's a minute and 45 seconds long

of Biden sinking into senility. So if you listen very carefully, you can hear me giggling. Because I'm filming this. I am fucking ready. This was not my property. He has something written in Arabic on his shirt. It says infidel.

Dude, those Arabic letters are goofy as shit. What were they thinking? It says infidel on his shirt. He's got a 3D Evolve spray bottle. I'm ready. I'm ready too. Ready, set, play. Welcome to the Gator Show.

I just want my quick video to show y'all how Gator gets ready to go deer hunting. I got a few products here that I think will help y'all get those monster bucks. Now, the first thing I want to show y'all is the hunter specialty special reserve do-yer this stuff will always bring in that monster buck that's what deer hunters are about the monster buck the only problem is is you have to use the whole bottle. I'm going to go ahead and tell y'all, the taste never gets better. This is real deer piss. This is real deer piss.

I'll shit you not. There's more in there. Come on. Now to get rid of some of that vomit you got there, you're going to need some of you. Evolve, dead, downwind, scent block. He's still coughing. You don't want your smell that little bit on me

what's your course it really is the set block yeah it's really good for you after this that a bad that fucking white trash-ass necklace. Got that good odor, of course. That's not part of the bit, Taylor. Hey, hey, hey. Next thing I want to show you all is called the Hunter's Diaper.

Before this, you're going to need a pen, an adult diaper, some Remington Camo duct tape. I'll show you what the outcome of the product looks like. This is what a true hunter likes to hunt all day, all night, and all day the next day. This thing right here can take a monster load. Trust me. I dropped one of mine earlier. I hope y'all enjoyed the video. If y'all will excuse me, Gator needs his gap. Gotta go get that monster buck. Gator needs his gap Gotta go get that monster buck Gator needs his gap This is what we did with our free time And it made you very successful

So there's that He made a lot I mean look at how many Alright so this video has How many views? 116,000 I think Okay 120,000. The other one that we did,

where he's the extreme Texas hog hunting, his first video ever with zero subscribers, 526,000 views. He promoted it from FPS Russia, though, right? I did from my Facebook. Oh, okay. I just said. You did.

I remember. I posted it on Facebook, and I was just like, look at this guy. That's it. Like, hey, I don't know about all this. This is a little edgy for me, but look at this, boys. Meanwhile, I'm holding the camera. Little shout out to all your YouTube friends of the time going, hey, promote this Gator vid. I might have. I think you did.

And I remember being flattered, thinking, oh, he's worried about the seven people I can send. See, that's the thing. People don't understand about actually getting the ball rolling on something on the internet. Seven people might be the thing that matters. It was more than seven, first of all. And even more than that, if you push 500 people, there's probably some overlap from T. Martin or Woody or whoever the fuck. If you push 500 people, there's probably some overlap from T Martin or Woody or whoever the fuck. But if T Martin and Taylor are telling me to do a thing, then the percentage of people who are actually going to jump on board and do it is much higher.

You know, it's like asking for the sale. I'm not going to ask once. I'm not going to ask twice. I'm not going to ask three times. I'm going to ask over and over and over for the sale. And it just works. Like I did a call of duty video once where I was trying to get likes. And I was just like, people don't like videos anymore. I don't know why. I mean, people like videos, but you don't click that button. I know what you're thinking.

My like doesn't count. You're thinking it right now. A bunch of just clicked it right now. Cause I said that I know you did, but there's a whole bunch more and Hutch like, like messaged me. He's like, you know what? You're goddamn right. I was the fourth time you asked for the like i was like yeah i'm in that subset of people because because then i was like i know what you're thinking too you're probably thinking hey i make youtube videos i don't need to like this i don't want to co-sign on something well that's not what it means it just means you enjoyed it be honest with yourself you enjoyed it then you enjoyed it right you like enjoyed it. Then you enjoyed it. Right. You like likes. I like likes. So like it.

Hutch was like, you know what? You sold me. I had to like it. So that's what this was. It was about making something go viral, you know, that that had no business going viral. And that was Scott shooting fucking hogs out of a truck driving through Houston, Texas with night vision goggles and all kinds of nonsense. You guys were fucking making money, building careers, and I was making videos like, here's another five things I dislike about Chipotle. I can't eat Chipotle anymore. What the fuck? How can you not?

My digestive system cannot handle it i don't know what are you getting on there that's fucking you so when i get chipotle and i don't i don't get it much maybe like four times a year i get it but it's i get uh the fajita vegetables yeah i get rice black beans pico de gallo cheese sour cream and uh burrito bowl what are we doing here no i do the burrito i i want that i want the experience and uh i don't know i i have to shit like eight times the next day and it's like a a sad drippy shit that hurts no yeah it's it's it's no good i'm like a i'm like an old school coffee makers dude i feel like matt and trey from south park must have some kind of digestive issue because when they made that video where it's like

do you love chipotle but you hate having blood in your underwear yeah bloody shits and blood stains in your underwear i was like i love chipotle and kidoba which are the exact same fucking restaurant and i've never had a terrible shit the next day ever i'll have a big shit the next day because you're eating something the size of your fucking forearm but that's about it yeah um i i if i eat that that's all i eat for that day because it's so much fucking food. I remember the first time I ever had one of those. It was when I was 19 years old in Atlanta and one of my buddies, he was like, you ever had a Chipotle burrito? And I was like, no, no, he takes me. And we get this thing and I'm just like, I can't finish it. I can't eat a whole Chipotle burrito.

What a bitch. They're like a pound and a half or something. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it when I was 19. Yeah, but I love them. I love Mexican food in general. So did you guys see, I know Woody did.

So maybe Taylor, Boogie, you remember only using me Blade, right? No. Okay, Call of Duty commentator. His shtick was, you know, back in the Call of duty commentator his his shtick was you know back in the call back in the call of duty commentating days you know we all people some people had like shticks and bits and like things that made them special obviously you know people did characters like dr disrespect or i mean i did a character and and some people did uh like like mon some

people montage makers some people people were commentary guys. Their commentary outweighed the value of their gameplay to some extent. But I would put Woody in there. He had good gameplay, great commentary. He's really engaging with the community. That was his thing. What only used me Blade's thing was, I don't use guns, just my knife. And he would only melee in Call of Duty and do fairly well.

Successful, yeah. Yeah, we upload our good videos, right? But he'd upload really good gameplay of him. Just shank, shank, shank. And he's a real chill voice to guy. And he's just like, Hey guys, blade here. You know, it seemed to have kind of a chill life living, taking it easy. Well, these days he's a streamer. He's associated in some way with Ice Poseidon. I think he might be on his streaming network. Don't quote me on that. But he's a raging

alcoholic with maybe pre-diabetic and his feet are rotting off. And he passes out drunk a lot. They're virtually gangrenous. They have open wounds on his feet. That stuff's not funny, frankly. But what is funny is this video right here. I know the video. Oh, no. Is this a new thing for you? So I got a minute and 30-second cut.

So basically, he passes out drunk a lot and and everybody around him is one of these like shock streamers i'll call them you know they're not necessarily vloggers they're not their lives aren't all that interesting per se but they're gonna get up to something some hijinks they're gonna make drama they're gonna do something to make the viewers entertained and so what they do when he passes out is they fuck with him. And so they painted his face like Pepe the frog while he was passed out. And this is him. Yeah.

Right. Right. You got it. That's a good bit. Do you have the images of Pepe? And I can find them in two seconds. They're in. Yeah.

Well, it's they're in Larryry's discord but i can't mess with discord because i'm green capture apparently the adl made pepe the frog a hate symbol what a bunch of losers are you guys ready to watch this yeah i'm ready uh yes three two one play did you pay me or something play. Did you paint me or something? This is him waking up to what they've done to him. Did you paint me or something?

Did you paint me or something? This motherfucker doesn't have an ounce of muscle on him. It's all just booze fat. You're such a faggot, dude. That's a mirror he just looked in. He's faggot in the world. I don't know what kind of fucking loser shit you guys are on Oh, that's a mirror. He just looked in. On the door. I don't know what kind of fucking loser shit you guys are on to paint me, but fuck me, dude. Seriously.

He's skinnier than I thought. Yeah. Look at my fucking face. He's lost weight. Here's me, dude. You're a loser, dude. Whatever money you made for painting, pay me now. Pay me now. It did a me now. Pay me now. Pay me now.

Pay me now, dude. Get on your phone and pay me whatever money you made for your fucking loser-ass stream. No content. Bitch-ass stream. Pay me now or get the fuck off your ass. You streamed head content. I disagree. Okay, I'll pay you. Pay me now. Whatever money you made

to paint me. Don't be like a fucking clown, dude. Pay me now. Give me your phone God dude. Okay, I'll pay you pay me now whatever money you made to paint me look like a fucking clown Dude, pay me now. Give me a photo Blade you're drunk, dude That's my money pay me now blade can you relax Fuck you do Relax do it on your phone and pay me right the fuck down Make any money to paint you I Have another video that's like far too long and we'd have to see

But it begins with him not painted and they're just pouring shit on him. It looks like shaving cream or whipped cream or something. They're just like... The other day I saw him passed out, pants around his ankles, underwear on, and he's pissing himself in his sleep. And they're just putting solo cups, like plastic cups, under him and catching the piss. I saw that.

And I didn't understand where the pee was coming from in such a consistent stream. He's pissing out of his underwear, so it finds the – it's like an icicle. It finds the lowest point of gravity, and then it drips off. It just flows out. Okay. All right. This is funny.

Dude, like, Woody, you were saying, it looks like he's lost weight. And I loveody's wholesome approach to it you know the reason that he's lost weight is that hard work and exercise he's moved from the kind of alcoholic that eats sometimes to the kind of alcoholic that never eats like chuck all he does is drink all of his calories are from booze i've known a few i choose to believe that's george foreman chicken and cousze i've known a few i choose to believe that's george forman chicken and couscous i've known a few like extreme alcoholics and that's the case like like they don't they don't really eat at all like um they got how do you know my dad my dad had

alcoholics who worked for him and i've talked about him before i saw a funny video that somebody linked me like kyle tells um dad stories or something i sent it my dad he loved he fucking loved it and uh and i was talking about some of those drunks that used to work for my dad they were both kind of skinny because they didn't eat food most of the time you know you would ask him like we would see chuck on the side of the road for you know 45 50 year old white guy just he's essentially homeless He's living without electricity and stuff. And I'd be like, hey, Chuck, you want a hamburger? We just went to McDonald's. We got a bag full.

We're taking them back over. Would you like one? Nah, man. Can you run me up to the liquor store, though? And I want to be like, Chuck, have you eaten today? Because I know he hasn't. He's not hungry. I think that when you're that much of an alcoholic and you're like poor that the idea of drinking on an empty stomach is it's like

bonus liquor it's like you're making money if you don't oh yeah it's like you're you're getting drunk faster you're getting drunk faster and harder and staying drunk longer because there's nothing there's no food in your system it's just the alcohol. If I get drunk on an empty stomach, I feel pretty terrible a little bit in, don't you? Yeah, I don't like to do that. Like, I need some food in me. Well, that's all sad, but I think Blade's looking better and better.

Yeah, yeah. He's not. He's not. We are literally watching a documentary-style series of someone dying. He's dying right now. Taylor, you have to switch places with either Only Use Me Blade or Wings of Redemption. Wings of Redemption.

You know what? You don't have to... Let me throw this in. You don't have to continue in their footsteps. How long do I have to be in there before I get out of that hellscape? This is for life. No, but I think what he's

saying is if you jump in blade's body instantly the diabetes clears up right the sores go away because you start working out or form vegetables doesn't go away that way you don't know that kind of he seems to be kind of far gone so if i were to pick between those i would clear i would pick wings life wings doesn't have a drug problem doesn't have an alcohol problem he has a very severe food problem which is you know just as serious but i could get married wings life get the food thing under control get get fitter lose weight whereas you jump into fucking Blade's life. You're adopting a huge number of medical problems that are probably too deep in to even overcome. You sold me. You sold me, god damn it. You were going to pick Blade just because he's skinnier, weren't you?

I was going to pick Blade because he's skinnier, and forgive me, but I think he's better looking. He's tall, too. Yeah, he's much taller. He's taller than I am. We have no idea what Wings looks like skinny. We have no idea. But I think that, I mean, Boogie can attest to this. It's difficult to lose 250 pounds. It takes a long time, and it requires a ton of discipline. It's a very difficult thing to do.

Whereas Blade, like Blade could be looking what I'll call good in six to eight months like if blade started eating right and like jogging three miles a day lifting weights three times a week you know we're not talking about going on like a regimen just just would you rather take the risk with with blade and all of his clear health problems i don't care about health problems he's probably got cirrhosis so here's what here's where you're wrong. So I doubt he does. I'm not picking Wings because of Blade's health issues.

As a matter of fact, Wings' health issues frighten me more than Blade's health issues because Wings doesn't go to the doctor. Blade at least has been tested and the doctor was like, hey, you need to slow down. This is starting to get toward a dangerous place. Wings just doesn't go. We don't know what's inside of him rotting.

But I think that Wings has a more stable life. I think that... That's fair. According to him, he owns that trailer. He's in a very cheap area to live in, whereas Blade, I think, is out there in L.A. or somewhere in Cali somewhere. Does he have a home

played you know i i don't know he seems to i've never seen it if he does he's living in an rv right now you know doing that stream thing so i just feel like for me like like i wouldn't want to be in that rv just willy-nilly shitting in some weird shared toilet with a bunch of jackasses i mean those guys look like maybe those guys are cool and chill and maybe they only add that to him, but they look like jabronis. They look like, they look like you wouldn't want,

you wouldn't have an intelligent conversation with those guys. They pull some prank on you that you felt was far too mean and, and like put it in front of like a bunch of degenerates on the internet when it's like, dude, maybe if you just did this to me without a fucking camera stuck in my face i'd be okay with it but this is real shitty what you've done to me i don't want to live that whole lifestyle that he's into whereas wings he's kind of stable with with like his lifestyle where he is and what he has to his name and i would

i would prefer that i do think it's a real uphill battle to get into a healthy physical situation. If I was on that RV, I wouldn't do well socially. I wouldn't do either. If they did to me what they did to Blade, we would fight. I fight over less than that. A lot less. You can't do that to me, say, sorry, bro, but it was funny,

and have me be like, oh, well, I just, no. I am in a severe deficit in this relationship. You have harmed me, and I can't forgive that until I've evened the score in some way. And it wouldn't be, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but Blade attacked the guy who painted him. Did he? But he's drunk, and it looked, the beating that I would.

Was he drunk there, like waking up drunk? Yeah, he's still, and it looked... Was he drunk there? Like, waking up drunk? Yeah, he's still, like, super hungover. But, like, he gets the guy, and, you know, he's, like, throwing some arm punches all over the guy's, like, side of his head and his ribs and stuff. And they're telling the other guy, don't fight back, don't fight back. Because, frankly, Blade really can't throw much of a punch,

especially when he's that drunk. He's got no muscle mass. It was not an adequate beating for what had been done. Like, I would want to deliver a pretty serious serious there's gonna be some ground and pound you need to be hurt you you don't want you need to be like in the future the next time i'm passed out and somebody says hey let's let's let's fuck kyle in the asshole you'd be like no no i painted his face once and he broke my nose yeah like like like you know so kyle if you're if you're being asked the same question you posed at me yeah going between wings or blade yeah you would still pick blade no i pick wings

yeah yeah because like i know you can get fatty liver fucked up liver from eating a bunch of fatty food your entire life but i feel like drinking i don't know i'm assuming like a gallon of fucking jagermeister a day does a bit more damage wings has a more stable life he he has a home he has some people who care about him in his life um he has he lives in a very affordable area to live in over there in south carolina you know like like thirty thousand dollars a year is going to get you by just fucking fine there. It really is. And that's what he's used to. It wouldn't feel like a downgrade

for him to be making $45,000. Yeah. And meanwhile, like, Blade is the opposite of all of those things. At least that's what I perceive. You know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Blade's got a real nice fucking house still back up in, like, wherever he's from. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and deny that. They turn off the camera. They're like,

can you believe this dream buys this? Yes, can you pass the Grey Poupon? All right. How are my stocks this evening? Oh, Lord. Scotch? No thanks. I played my part this evening. Let me... Let me do an ad read while Woody decides

if he wants to tell Boogie about Wing's marriage. This episode is brought to you by Magic Spoon. Remember breakfast cereal? When I was growing up, breakfast cereal was one of the best parts of being a kid. But as an adult, you realize that all your favorites were just full of sugar and junk. That you really shouldn't eat. And now breakfast is boring.

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I was going to say like, like our, when, uh, that trip that Taylor was, uh, was talking about earlier where we went to Colorado, we used a lot of Postmates cause you know,

we're smoking, so we're not going to drive. Amen. And,mates because you know we're smoking so we're not going to drive amen and and we're we're just we're just eating all kinds of nonsense and we're in another city you know we're right there in denver so depending on where you are you know if you're a really tiny town postmates might only is only going to have what's in a really tiny town but when you're in denver or you're like a major capital city, it's just, you're scrolling forever. Like, and, and excuse me, I don't know what Jesus in Denver,

they've got, uh, all these like stonerific type restaurants where like their food is designed for stoners. Like they've got like crunch berry milkshakes and like, like captain crunch milkshakes and like, Oh God. Like, like fried peanut butter and

banana sandwiches like like the whole rest like like the the restaurant will be called like smoky joe's food and more whatever the hell and it's like all of their things have like stoner names like the 420 burger and they're all kind of like extra indulgent and over the top a little bit. And yeah, good stuff. Capitalism is clever. Wings is getting married? Yeah. To who? A young lady.

Yeah. Is it like a mail order thing? I think I know her name, but I don't want to say it on the show. Yeah, I don't think we should say her name. Here's what actually happened. Wings claimed he was getting married. say it on the show. Yeah, I don't think we should say her name. Here's what actually happened. Wings claimed he was getting married and then someone did some research and found out that Wings was lying about basically everything and it seems

that Wings claimed that he'd been in contact with this person for the last six years and according to her mother, who they went and interviewed which seems a little far-reaching, only recently did the dating app that they used, like link them up. And I guess it also turned out that she, she has cancer and she's about to have a cancer surgery this spring. Meanwhile, he just bought her a ring, even though they told they told him not to buy a ring.

And I guess she wants kids immediately, whereas he doesn't want kids at all. And he claimed that she was a nurse who made, quote, bank. And now he was going to have expendable income and free health insurance. And at no point do you see him like, oh, I love this person so much. We have such a deep connection. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It's more like free health insurance.

And I'll have somebody like it's financially advantageous. Yeah, it's easy. He's looking at the financial advantages of this relationship. She is a very, very religious person. Wings is not. Wings is not at all. He's an atheist. And he seems to not just be like an agnostic, whatever, but like a hardcore fuck religion kind of guy.

Yeah. He did a video proving religion was fake. Well, because fire can't burn without sulfur or some stuff. Oh, God. Don't give me that. Concrete being on the periodic chart of elements. That was literally the first video that I watched of Wings the first time i

met kyle is i was like oh kyle it's really nice to meet you man i love your videos and he was like do you want to watch a wings video like i guess okay only oh the caveat to all this i've later learned the person who assembled this data and talked to the person's mom and this and that is Wings' parallel of Boogie's biggest anti-fan. I don't know what to call him, hater or whatever. So he just takes everything he knows and paints it in the worst possible light. And it's hard to tell what the truth is,

what the facts are. You could certainly take my history and warp it in such a way that it would look awful you know you could do that with almost anybody and take my worst clips so i i it does appear the catfished wings this guy catfished wings a while back and then posted all of their conversations he posed as a woman who lived near wings and when in reality he's a gentleman from Canada, tremendous time investment, huge,

huge, like two months of catfishing. And then he posted all the screenshots and stuff of wings. How about you show me your cock? Eh? I mean, you know, and, and,

and honestly, I feel like first of all, I didn't like that thing that he did, but, but I feel like that, that thing that he did, but I feel like that thing that he did almost gives him a bit of journalistic credibility. Am I wrong about that?

I see what you're saying. It's just a funny way to put it. He's an investigative journalist. He's an investigative journalist in a way, and I believe he's an actual lawyer. So we're not talking about a child in a basement and i believe he's an actual lawyer so we're not talking about i didn't know a child in a in a basement necessarily um so like i i this guy has i i don't know i believe what he said um and and the first time around when he catfished him he could

have added in some like he could have pumped it up a little bit to make it outrageous he could have he could have like faked some of the messages like he could have had 90 real messages and then like photoshopped in some real messed up stuff wings never denied that any of that was absolutely real he was he just said you know it's messed up this guy did this thing well from what i saw also wings didn't seem like he was being creepy or like fishing for nudes or anything like no he seemed like he was just he's got no game i know what you're saying yeah taylor why are you so harsh on him you're right you're right i'm a fool for trying to jump yeah i don't know man um yeah but it does appear that wings has overstated his relationship with this cancer victim and i love love that. Save that quote.

I want that quote to play out of a teddy bear. It does appear that Wings has overstated his relationship with this cancer victim. Give it to me again. I think it's darning you. But what he does, he tells the truth. That poor fat fuck. that'll be the other pole that poor fat fuck uh keep my name out of your fucking mouth you fucking asshole

thank you for buying blue woody i love Blue Woody. He tells it how it is. I'd be jumping to his defense more if he wasn't so ruthless to me in that one game of Modern Warfare 2 where we all played. He also said you stole his job. He always gives you a hard time. It was Lefty! Oh, no, Taylor. Stick to the other one. I like it when you just thank him for the job.

You know what? I appreciate it, Wings. Wings, you could have bought four trailers for what we pay Taylor. Unironically, yeah. Taylor's made well over a million dollars in your absence. Try two.

Let it sink in, Wings. Oh, Jesus Christ. that's how much we're fucking let it sink in wings that's mean that is yeah that little curb song added to me is so funny. I love it. There was one where I was like, who checks the mail? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You're going to laugh at yourself. That's good shit. It's not really political, but it's still funny.

I just linked something where it's just fucking Biden talking over the last couple years. Yeah, it's two minutes long and he is a hoot

throughout the whole thing. Do you guys want to watch this? This is the guy they're putting forward to beat Trump. Are you guys ready? Can't stop the Trump. I'm ready to go. Ready, set, play. She's a friend. She's been my friend in and out of public life. We owe these truths to be self-evident.

All men and women created by, you know the thing. Tomorrow's Superstar Tuesday. All right, Chuck. Thank you very much. All right. It's Chris, but anyway. My name is Joe Biden. I'm a democratic candidate for the

united states senate look me over if you're like we see help out if not vote the other by i love this place i look what's not to like about vermont one of the things is getting past getting moved getting control of the paris climate accord i'm the guy that came back after meeting with Deng Xiaoping and making the case that... He died in 1997. ...if we put pressure on them. You had people like Margaret Thatcher, excuse me, you had people like the former chairman and leader of the party in Germany.

Go to Joe 30330. Watch what happened when those kids from Parkland came up to see me when I was vice president. They went under the, and some of you covered it. It's not that they don't want to help. They don't want, they don't know quite what to do. Play the radio, make sure the television, excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night, the phone, make sure the kids hear words. And to get hot, I got a lot of, I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.

And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was straight. And then watch the hair come back up again. They'd look at it. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. What the fuck is that? And I love kids jumping on my lap. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. What the fuck is that? I love kids jumping on my lap. I learned about kids jumping on my lap.

And I love kids jumping on my lap. Learned about roaches and peanuts. Dude, everybody's saying like, oh, you know, he has a couple gaffes. It's like, no, this is not a Trump gaffe. This is not a Bernie gaffe. It's not a Warren gaffe. This is not a Bernie gaffe. It's not a Warren gaffe. He is senile. He has no idea what is happening around him.

No idea. Like, he seems like a fucking lunatic. I mean, I don't know. Do the Democrats really stand a chance this time around? No. No. No. If they wanted to stand a chance this time around? No. No. No. If they wanted to stand a chance, they would have put Bernie up.

But even then, I'm fully ready to admit, I was 100% wrong about Bernie. Because he lost the black vote so bad. So bad. And the young voters, all his online support, they didn't show up. No. No, they didn't show up no no they didn't show as they always don't they never do like no and i get that and they never do it's obviously a new batch of young people all the time that's the nature of young people but uh it's like you can't get youth vote you can't bet on youth vote you can win i was about to say facebook proving how old i am you can win reddit you know you you can win uh tiktok or whatever the kids are on nowadays

without winning anything real yeah but if you expect them to go to a church and close the curtain behind them and vote they won't yeah i look forward to the meme the day that trump is re-elected and just like, okay, boomer. Cause that's the ultimate. Okay. Boomers. Cause that's your president now for four more fucking years. Yeah.

It's Trump. Instead of memes again, I say, yeah, it turns out tweets aren't fucking memes, huh? It turns out you have to, uh, tweets aren't fucking votes.

It turns out you have to actually show up and do shit. Yeah. Yeah. And he like, I, I've been like, you know, I'm always just kind of peeking at Twitter at least a few times a day seeing it.

And it has been hilarious watching like hardcore Bernie bros realize that their message does not resonate at all with minority America. He is a hardcore, diehard, in love with him, 30% of the Democrats. And that isn't enough. Unless the moderate vote is split six ways. I exaggerated it was six, but, you know, work with me. And then it turns out once Pete drops out and Boba Tarr drops out and all the way. Yeah, I don't know if Warren was taking votes from Sanders.

Oh, definitely so. I said it wrong. Pete wasn't, Klobuchar wasn't, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What Pete and Klobuchar were doing was taking votes from Biden, so they're splitting it so many ways. And when it was like two going for the liberals,

the progressives, and four or five going the other way, Bernie did well. They make it two on two, Biden and Bloomberg versus Warren and Bernie, and he got smacked. What the fuck was Bloomberg's point? Don't you dare. He won American Samoa. Put some respect on his name, would you? You know what's funny? Is there like Russia turned the election with $400,000 worth of Facebook ads.

And it's like, really? And Bloomberg couldn't turn it with almost a billion dollars of ads. Okay. That doesn't really feed into what you've been saying. That is actually a good point. Well, actually, so I'm going to defend that for a sec and say that astroturfing is a very real thing and that russia supposedly astroturfed if that's where that money went if you made it look like real facebook accounts if you made it look like real reddit accounts if you made it look like

actual people like that kind of pure shit really does work well it's been 100 billion dollars on influence astroturfing isn't necessarily making fake accounts and then preaching from there. AstroTurfing is just forming any sort of non-grassroots campaign trying to make it look like one. And that's exactly what Bloomberg did, is he tried to make his campaign look like it was a bunch of grassroots support, when in reality, it was a bunch of people paid probably $35 an hour to tweet nonsense like and he did that and so the same people will say that Russia turned an election when someone who spent what is it 10,000 times as much couldn't do it the thing is win a primary Russia wasn't buying ads right maybe they bought $400,000 ads

what are the numbers but that's not where the money went the money went into I forget the name of the company but they had people at like troll farms, typing, making Reddit posts, making Facebook posts, things that don't cost money aside from their hourly wages. The measure their impact in advertising dollars is inaccurate. You need to measure their impact in the number of posts they made or the number of, I don't know, just their online presence. Do you think there was a single post on Reddit in 2016 that was pro-Trump that got really,

really high? Yes, I think the Donald became the biggest subreddit. It was huge. It was booming. It was the number one growing thing. Everything on there got like 10,000 views and the moderators would pin posts to get it on the top. Well, now Trump's not as popular.

He's had a disapproval rating higher than his approval rating since like three weeks into his presidency? I don't know. I saw about a month or two ago that his approval rating at similar times in his presidency was higher than Obama's. That's not true. It's never crossed Obama's at similar times in the presidency.

It did a couple months ago, yeah. I feel like I'm going to get nailed for fact-checking here, but I can. This is actually something I look at. It's not funny enough to matter. He has not surpassed Obama at any point in his presidency. Obama did have a low about two months ago

and it was close, but this is the sort of thing I look at. Watch me be wrong. It happens. I know there was a point where Trump had a 48% approval and Obama had a 46% at the same time in the presidency. That was the one I was looking at. Here you go.

Looking it up. Yeah, there you go. See, the same way that the media was like, there's never been a worse midterm election for a president. And it's like, no, I mean, we can look at six years ago. Well, that's true of Obama. Yeah, that's true of Obama. No, there was even someone before than anyone since the Industrial Revolution. There was someone before Obama.

Maybe it was like way back in the fucking 20s or something. But there was a president who lost even more than Obama, I'm pretty sure. What does order mean? In what context? In this chart right here. If you click my thing and go to historical comparison, it says order, president, and then highest approval. Those are the three columns.

Oh, order just means what order in which they were president so 45 for trump 44 okay did you think that was a stack ranking i was like yeah yeah i did yeah yeah i absolutely did yeah that's a stupid thing to have dude george w bush highest approval 90 that was right after 9 11 or no wait yeah yeah right after 9 11 that's crazy when percent when he stood on the rubble and did his speech and then announced that we were going into iraq and that it was or afghanistan at the time but yeah i think you're right yeah yeah afghanistan wreck didn't happen for a couple more years he was one he was just like i hear you three and pretty soon the people that knocked down those buildings are gonna hear us all and the crowd was like fuck yeah it was like your team made the super bowl we were all cheering him on it was like they had just lost the super bowl

it was like they just lost a playoff game and And he was like, but tomorrow is the Super Bowl. And they were like, now it's our turn. Fucking country music stars or country music's playing in New York. I'm just trying to raise a family. Raise a daughter and a son. There's some guy in New York

singing that shit with a Brooklyn accent. Did you guys see that fucking the DNC changed the rules again to keep Tulsi out? Cause all you need to qualify for the next two debates is one delegate and Tulsi got a few and they're getting rid of her because I guarantee that if Tulsi was included in those debates, she would sandbag herself and Biden by just going hard in the paint against biden and bernie would

look much better because then bernie could keep his hands a little bit cleaner and tulsi would be the one fucking hammer and that's a shame that she can't that she can't be the next debate because like i know she's had a real rough time of it but like if she's the third candidate if she's the third person on stage all of a sudden it's like all right it's a b or c ah i kind of like c i feel like i'm not saying she could be a contender i'm saying that she'd be above like whatever one percent or wherever she has been like maybe she's likable and she's smart and she's one of the only ones who really does call out the bullshit with the military industrial complex of just continuing wars in the middle east she's one of the few who does that and i like that about her i've got two

things one i think biden has been helped by more people in debate stage he is probably the weakest debater of any of the major candidates fair and he's been able to kind of hide in that crowd if he goes 1v1 on bernie i'm not sure sure that helps him that's one thought and the other is gone now so there you go that's the way thoughts go we're out of there but yeah I would love if they let Tulsi participate

and just rip into Biden that would be great do you think that's the way she'd go rip into Biden? oh yeah she would absolutely rip into biden like because she's tremendously anti him and kind of his establishment nonsense my other point i think the hunter ukraine scandal biden's part in it will be a much bigger story going forwards the democrats debated him with kid gloves. Trump is going to talk about.

Hunter, Hunter, Hunter. Every day. He's going to bang that corruption drum. All the time. And he'll have a point. He's not wrong. Hunter didn't deserve that job. He only got that because he was connected to the VP.

And I have to assume they had a good return on their investment. Trump doesn't even have a hard road in that way. I feel like he could just be like, hey, Joe, let's both count to 10 at the same time. Let's see if we arrive there at the same point. One, two, I'm giving you two. I'm giving you two. You jump in at three. There you go, Joe. Like the way Trump is so good in front of a stage that you can't beat him

with someone like biden like he's just not as good like if you had tried to use reason and logic against me trump doesn't do that well in debates he lost every debate to hillary i looked at the polls according to who you want me to look at cnn polls at d plus 20 you guys are making this up no no i can go look at the... We can look at the Wikipedia and see the aggregation of the polls. Do I need to do this? I'm not disputing the numbers.

I'm disputing where they came from. Yeah. I watched those things. There's no way to know. D plus 10 or D plus 15. But anyway... They're polling people in LA and San Fran. Okay.

If you think all the polls are wrong. They were. They were last election. What I'm saying is Trump is not a great debater. He did well enough. He'll do better than Biden, though. Trump's great. No, Jeb Bush, he's a debater now.

That guy. Come on, he beat them all. He did win. I'm not saying he didn't win, but I'm saying that Trump's actual strength is working a crowd. The stadium is his home court. That's where Trump excels.

It's not really a 1v1 debate. No, I mean, you're right. Like, Trump... Like, people who... I was big on Trump in 2016, like, hoping that he would do everything he said. He did fucking nothing.

What's the thing? He's done some of the things. What has he done? Has he controlled the border? No. Has he built in the wall? No, no, he hasn't. He's created 498 miles of replacement fence.

He hasn't done shit. You want him to get out there with a shovel, Taylor? What do you want from this? He's increased legal immigration and H-1B visas, which is bad for me. He's got the kids in prison camps. I don't give a fuck about that. I don't care.

This is exactly what we talked about in private. The prison camps are in place. Yeah, that would be the funniest position to take, is just being like, no, dude, I fucking love those camps. Those are sick. Like, that's what I'm voting for. What if they brought him up and just being like, no, dude, I fucking love those camps. Those are sick. Like, that's what I'm voting for. What if they brought him up and he was like,

I just want to point out that not one child has escaped my prison camp. Not a single child has escaped. You look at Obama's record. Multiple children escaped, seeking a better life. They go through the bars. I said, fuck you. After you starve them out for a while, they go right through the bars. They're so skinny.

That's why you electrify the bars. That was my idea and Pence. He loves electrocuting dude I looked up the debate results so hot Trump won every debate Trump won every debate. I was totally wrong I'm sorry. What was that? I don't remember is I had to look at it because my side of this whole fact checking thing is when I get something wrong, I feel like it's a dishonest to like bury it, to look it up and not say I was wrong. Like that's I feel like is the asshole move. Well, of course, that's a normal, honest way to look where you see something that disagrees with what you thought and you go, oh, fuck. Right. I can't hide it if i

hide it i'm gonna do it yeah so that that's why i did that anyway yeah so like but even so like people who are huge trump stands right now it's like he what has he done he's done fucking nothing his biggest accomplishments are what moving an embassy to jerusalem who gives a shit what happens over there i don't give a fuck what happens in the middle east i do not care it it doesn't even cross my mind as a thing who fucking cares what happens in the middle east israel has nukes they're fine why are we giving them so much money every year to can for us to continue conflicts like why i don't like that we give them money every year to can for us to continue conflicts like why i don't like that we give them money every year and they have public health care do you know that they that

we gave more money to israel this year than we gave to west virginia and a couple other states as far as aid i did not know that yeah we've given more money to israel than we do to some of our own states and it's like what the fuck is going on like what why are our tax dollars going to continue i don't know because the states have only a handful of people and the israelis oh west virginia the notoriously successful state they don't need any money and west virginians pay taxes west virginians pay into that but they should exactly and that money should go to amer Americans. Israel doesn't pay any taxes and they get more? How isolationist should we be? Should we just, I mean...

100%. What are we gaining from any of these countries? Strategic. No, really. Strategic positioning in a very scary part of the world. An incredibly powerful ally. Oh, Israel? Yeah.

They're giving us strategic info? Like the strategic info that got us into the Iraq war. They're giving us tons of intelligence. They gave us tons of intelligence. Or the information they gave us into the Iraq war that was 100% false. Tons of intelligence. Or the information they gave us about the Syria fucking gas strikes. That was 100% false. I'm not going to go over anecdotal cases of maybe they gave us

something, maybe they didn't. I just think that a strong Israel is in the best interest of the United States. Why? I just explained why. Because they are a strategic ally in a key part of the region of the world. They have been caught a couple times I just explained why. Because they are a strategic ally in a key part. What do they give us strategically? They have been caught a couple times in the last few decades selling our technology to Russia and China. That's a pretty awesome thing, right?

Well, I mean, they probably sold them some bad versions of it. Oh, they didn't. There's a thing I just made up. With the new F-15? Yeah. You're just making shit up. You have no idea what you're talking about. No, but I believe I can win this debate if i make up facts i just don't know why you think that you know better than like every

president who's ever been president since since what uh the the 70s i've often had that like like i share some of taylor's ideals in the like isolationist part and like trump is a particular example of a guy who was isolationist going into it and then changed his mind obama too obama was like we were going to pull out of iraq and then he didn't what happens when they take that office that makes them say oh because they get hit with the true rulers of the country. Bill Burr's hilarious bit is unironically correct. You get elected as president. They take you into a back room. They show you what really is done and why we do these things.

And then you maintain the party line. Obama did it after preaching change and hope. Fucking Trump did it after preaching we're going to shut down the borders. We're going to take care of Americans first. He did it after preaching we're gonna shut down the borders we're gonna we're gonna take care of americans first he did it like we people is it possible that they're right taylor though like what do they show you in the room those like vampires are real space travels real area they show you seven angles of the kennedy assassination here's what i want to show you what if taylor becomes president, right? Go pro footage. Do they educate?

Taylor, if you're president, maybe you learn whatever missing, you know, that us non-presidents don't know. And you stay in the Middle East. Like, I would get murked. Like, what would happen is if I got elected, they would bring me back and go, Hey, actually here are the powerful lobbying groups here. Why they want you to stay in these wars in the middle East. And you will do it. Or Hey, where's your family live again?

Oh, where's your kids go to school? Like that kind of shit fucking happens. And people think it does. It absolutely. That's one possibility. Another is, Oh, if we pull out of Iraq,

let me Iraq, Iraq, let me paint you a picture. You know, this is going to happen. That is going to happen. Nine 11, a warm Iraq, let me, Iraq, Iraq, let me paint you a picture. You know, this is going to happen. That is going to happen. 9-11, a warm up. You know, wait till they do this.

Wait till they do that. And that was Saudi Arabia. And we're tight allies with them. You ever watch Alternate History? You ever watch that YouTube channel, Alternative History, where they show you what they, I saw one the other day and it was what would have happened if Japan never bombed Pearl Harbor? And you might think, well, the Axis powers probably win without the United States in the war but no that's not the direction they went with it they believe that

the Soviet Union would have just gained an incredible amount of control over all of Western Europe and Japan by the end of the war. Yeah they would have all been communist you're right they show that you know isolation that's one of the war. Yeah, they would have all been communist, you're right. So they show that, you know, that's one of the reasons why isolationism isn't a great idea. Now, I know this is a bit anecdotal. Really? Because it's 2020, and we can pretty much dictate the health of another country

by our own economic sanctions. It's not working for a lot of countries really it's working at most do you really think that venezuela suddenly collapsed because no we just not only do i or not only do i believe sanctioned them and made it so that no one could buy their oil other than venezuela no i believe that we not only collapsed their economy but i believe we also killed their president well you're 100 right we did both like the guy was taught was at the fucking un talking about uh uh fucking george bush we had just been up there he's like i can smell the sulfur satan just walked out of the room that dude had cancer like nine

months later and he was dead like 11 months later and yeah Do you ever see that Russian guy who they poisoned? Oh, with the polonium skin gets all like fucking shitty. And they took an umbrella. That shit's crazy. They took an umbrella. And in the tip of it, they have a small,

uh, sphere, uh, like a think ball bearing, but incredibly tiny, not BB sized quarter of a BB size. It's got holes drilled through it. So that's essentially hollow in the middle.

Yeah. And they've put polonium, a highly radioactive element inside of it. A guy walks down the street and bumps into him, pokes him in the shin with his umbrellas. Oh shit. Sorry, comrade.

And he's like, yeah, how you poke me with your umbrella. My apologies, comrade. Have a good day. I'm so clumsy. I've been drinking.

Dude dies terribly from the radiation poisoning. He died? A couple weeks ago. Oh, yeah. You can look up photos of this guy where his skin, he's giving interviews throughout the process. It's Russian. Do you know his name? His skin is degenerating.

Okay. I might be able to, or I'll let Kyle go for it. But really, it's just watching radiation poisoning kill this guy. It's insane. And so when they say things like, oh, the U.S. government, they're not that bad. It's like, no, we destabilize more governments than any other nation. Did you say the last name slower? I don't think it'll help you, Frank.

Okay, yeah, probably. Is it Nevinco? It's that fellow right there, I believe. I believe that was Vladimir Putin that ordered that, by the way. Why would he order it? What do you mean? Why would Putin order it? I'm not trying to trap you.

I'm just asking. Oh, yeah, yeah, because he wanted this guy taken out. I don't remember what this guy was doing. This guy did something that they didn't like. Oh, he was a British naturalized Russian defector and former officer of the Russian FSB secret police. That'll do it.

Yeah. I know absolutely nothing about politics, so I feel like I cannot weigh in on any of this shit whatsoever, but all I want to do is say that I truly like the idea of somebody getting taken to the the back room of the white house and like when president obama was like look i'm gonna shut

down abu grave i'm gonna shut down the prison when they walk them into the back of the room and they show them like security cameras of abu grave and they're like look motherfucker we have actual superman in abu grave you want to shut that down? Where's Superman going to fucking go? We have 26 werewolves there. We have 22 fucking vampires, okay? We have an alien that literally bleeds jello. Like, his piss is like radioactive piss. You want him to just walk in the fucking streets?

Is that what I think? He's immortal, sir. What do you want us to fucking do? He's an immortal, piss-radioactive alien and the 96 fucking werewolves, sir. Do you want to keep it open? He takes the stairs the next day. He's like, Abu Grave is staying open.

It's very important. And that's something we're going to do. Did you guys ever watch Sex, Love, Robots? Oh, yeah. I don't even know what that means. Fuck, are you kidding me? He recommended it. He recommended it on one of his shows. Let me make sure. Love, robots my bad my bad all right this show is on netflix it's it's love death robots make sure we have the title right it's one of the coolest things i've ever

seen in my life it is like a dozen maybe 16 shorts animated in various animation styles everything from like pixar to like japanese anime style to like flintstones looking shit to like saturday morning cartoon looking shit to like hyper realistic like um like like like almost like real looking people yeah incredible stories there's and each one's completely off the wall different like it'll be like three robots touring post-apocalyptic Earth. All the humans are dead. And they're just like sightseeing. Like, oh yeah, this was a, I think humans, you know, did something with this back in the day. I don't really know why.

This was called the Washington Monument. They're like looking at like a TV set and like debating about what we use TV sets for or whatever. And then another one is about special forces soldiers in Afghanistan. And each unit has been assigned a werewolf soldier. He's a US soldier who's like a werewolf. And he walks point. He's

barefoot. He's going... He looks like a person, but he's got heightened senses. He can smell the enemy. He heals faster. But the turning point is the enemy now has a werewolf and it comes in and like takes out a whole squad of like americans and so now like they have to have a werewolf battle out in the fucking afghanistan desert it's just brutally violent this show sounds fucking retarded i knew that i felt it coming yeah i knew that was coming let me see what the

rotten tomatoes are for this shit it's it's excellent i fucking loved it so there's just a werewolf walking out front that's sniffing out fucking al-qaeda or whatever pretty much yeah uh but he looks like a man like he hasn't he hasn't shifted you know he can turn into like the full werewolf but he's just a dude can he hasn't shifted. He can turn into the full werewolf, but he's just a dude. Can he do it on his own? Yeah, it seems like he can do it on his own. See, that's the kind of werewolf to be.

The kind where you can turn it on and off. 89% audience score, 77% critic score. It's amazing. Anything where the audience score is better than the critic score is probably pretty good. Yeah, I'm not a weeaboo kind of guy either, but I thought I was going to hate this,

but my roommate showed it to me. I fucking loved it. Yeah, it's so good. Because if you don't like one, here's the best part. If you don't like one of the episodes, don't worry. They're four minutes long each. Seven tops. And then the next one starts,

and it'll be like farmers on a planet that has a big shield surrounding the farms and these like monsters come through the shield and attack whenever they can like make a hole in it and the farmers have like mech suits and each farmer's mech suit is completely different and they're like fighting off the monsters as they charge and it's it's it's really well done they're all different each one's a completely different uh story very very cool i highly recommend it can i say something that presidential debate thing i know here i am i i knew i was like right now i don't know what the fuck to believe but i looked at the edits on this wikipedia someone has edited this page to make it look like trump won all the debates in the last few days i can show you i can link up this is it from last month dude

that well-known internet and media bias of promoting right-wing people history and trump isn't even fucking right wing trump is just a democrat from 20 years ago if he were a democrat 20 years ago they would have kicked him out for being too right that's why i was so sure i had looked this up recently i was thinking about trump i'm sorry for being too left-wing because 20 years ago you've been like yeah it's fine to let the gays marry who cares and then you know clinton and all them would have been like fuck that and i didn't look at all the sources in each one of these things but yeah it's fine to let the gays marry who cares and then you know clinton and all them would have been like fuck that and i didn't look at all the sources in each one of these things but yeah that's why i was so certain of it that you know anyway yeah so someone edited the wikipedia page in the last few days to make it look like trump won i don't know if trump really did win or trump really

did it's up in the i mean fucking republicans are embarrassing in the first place they're just progressives driving the speed limit like the like republicans five years from now and actually no just right now they're like no actually democrats are the true homophobes and it's like you're is it really like you buy into their moral framework and then you lose. Okay, shut up, retards. Who cares? I thought he always performed very well because she tried to use facts and he brought rape accusers and put them in the front row. Here's the thing. I don't know how you determine who won. It's like a UFC fight when it goes to the judges. Well, the judges said he won.

Yeah, but he didn't all right like like that we both agree John Jones lost his last fight not on the scorecards so and I think that like there's this thing about Trump where a large group of people a significant group are ashamed to say that they prefer not not necessarily even that they that they love him even that they prefer him to Hillary. They would be ostracized. They would be ostracized for saying so in their job, in their social life. They don't want any part of that. So if you ask them, especially if somebody's near them, if it's not some sort of survivor-style thing where I write a name on a piece of paper and stick it in a hat,

which is how the voting goes down. And we saw how that played out. I don't care about the popular vote. That's not how we, that's not, that's not the game we play. That's like somebody saying, oh yeah, but he landed more strikes. Yeah, a lot of more leg kicks. Those don't count for as much. Oh yeah, he landed 50 in the first round, but there's five rounds. The other guy won the other four rounds.

There's a way we do things and you can't just change the rules because they don't fit what you would have won our field goals were worth nine well if you're the DNC you can change rules wherever you want they change rules to let Bloomberg in they change rules to keep Tulsi out well sorry I brought back the DNC because they're not a government agency they're just a private political party there they have no more standing than you or I do. Should a private political party like the RNC or the DNC have the ability to use Canada? No, they shouldn't, but that's the way we've always done things.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Fuck the DNC. And fuck it for not letting Bernie run against Trump. Fuck him. Are you a Bernie bro? I was. I don't really think. Like, here's something. I was talking to don't really think like, here's something I was

talking to a friend who's like a avid Trump supporter. And he's like, look, dude, we'll never have healthcare in this country. We'll never have college education. I'm like, but why does every other civilized country in the world get that? And he goes, cause they're not corrupt shitholes. We live in a corrupt shithole. We'll never be able to successfully do it. You put Bernie in there. It's going to be corrupt as fuck it'll never actually happen the health care will suck the educational suck let me keep private education let me keep private health insurance and i'm like but you can't afford education or health insurance it's like it's better than the fucked up version and i'm like you know like i guess there's some truth to that i can't argue with that just hold out have you seen the Hispanic voter breakdown for Bernie? The even young Hispanics overwhelmingly voted for Bernie.

And who is, you know, the biggest demographic and increasing in this country? It's Hispanics. Well, as long as Bernie lives another 50 years, we'll be good. I think he's saying the next 50 years. You're being crazy. It's way sooner than that. I'll tell you this, though. Not soon enough for Bernie to stay alive.

Bernie's got three. He's got 50 days. He's maybe got three years before he's absolutely Biden-tier. I'm talking to this friend, and I'm like, he's like, dude, who's going to pay for the healthcare? Who's going to pay for the education? He's like, I don't want to pay for that and i'm like you already can't pay for it because you

know your kids can't afford that shit because you don't you're not earning enough i'm the one who's in the tax bracket that's going to pay for your fucking kids health insurance i'm the one that's in the tax bracket that's going to pay for your kids fucking education let me fucking pay for it please let me once again i mean you already find my pants you already do pay for it i mean everyone who gets medicare and medicaid is already on socialized health care it's just right exactly so let's go taxpayers don't get it let's go ahead and extend it to his kids because his kids currently have no fucking health care so let's extend it to his kids let's do that i mean i'm in favor of health care forever I mean you can't you can't have

I'm in favor of universal healthcare but you cannot have a profound and powerful welfare system for the members of your country if you also have a border that is a sieve like you have to be able to cut off immigration and just take care of the

people in your nation like you can't be having what if we just turn them away doesn't canada yeah we should turn them away doesn't canada if you don't have your i'm afraid the hospital i only know this from watching trailer park boys but um like in trailer park boys if ricky doesn't have his fucking card if he's not registered and he's not paid his taxes then he doesn't get fucking health care they turn him away so why wouldn't that system work here here's my worry about that emergencies right yeah thank you kyle you know sorry paco right keep moving what if i'm hurt in a surfing accident and they're just going to i don't have

a wallet on me they don't know my id you know i i need some health care right now and they turn people away be like this guy has no insurance card fucking yeah now. And they turn people away? Be like, this guy has no insurance card. Fuck him. Yeah. Well, they can't turn people away. What's more common, though, other than you showing up with a surfing injury? That happens often.

That's a major use case. Is an illegal immigrant showing up with the flu, and then they clog up the fucking emergency room lines. I want everybody to have a fucking like something injected under their under their dermis and you know under their skin on their hand fucking mark of the beast baby let's go you can't even get to somebody who could show you mercy without scanning in the doors of the hospital they're not clear get rid of that because then we can see the sickies outside no you there's a double door and they're both clear get rid of that because then we can see the sickies outside no you come

there's a double door and they're both white you come through one you scan and if you don't scan boop kicks you right back out maybe a little trap door falls and you just roll out not a door but you don't get through that door you don't falsely enter you should be killed if it's a door they'll tell you and we're not gonna patch you up either we need turnstiles you know one at a time the mark of the beast to get through that i like the turnstile yeah yeah i like those we'll ask disney world for ideas they manage they're fun to turn am i the only one that your parents won't get it you can't do that i was gonna make a mark of the beast joke and kyle put it right in there i was looking for let's go i'm down shoot stick that thing in me come on we could make payments with it too.

Yeah, I want it. Why wouldn't I want it? It could have my debit card information and my healthcare information. I want all of my shit right in there injected into the back of my hand. All we're saying is we just want our social security number on a chip. It's pretty much what we already have.

I want my wallet in my hand. I want my subway frequent diner. I want my Subway frequent diner card. It would literally work that way. I want my fucking Kohl's cash loaded. I'll just tap it for my... That black lady at Kohl's just comes up and jabs you with something.

Got you now? Welcome to Kohl's cash. Good for you, Kohl's. You got me. Fuck! Every ninth gumbo at Kodoba's free? Just pass it right on? That's Cash. All right. Well, good for you, Kohl's. You got me. Fuck. Every ninth gumbo at Qdoba's free? Just pass it right on? Nope. Put it in there.

That's how it would be. You would put your fucking hand in one of those blood pressure machines, and they would add things to it. It could track you wherever I go so that I'm not lost anymore. I got no problem with that. Where am I going that they don't need to know about? If you're going somewhere and you don't want anybody to know about it i think it's a little fishy i mean there's a lot of room in northeast georgia that's a good point i'm not going anywhere that i don't want something that

i don't feel comfortable with the federal government knowing about yeah if there's anyone i trust they've got my dna and my passport yeah hell yeah brother they have your passport did they take the document yes they took his passport he's a felon i didn't know that was marshals took it when i turned myself in and they don't give it back not until i'm off probation i'm travel restricted kyle when you turned yourself in did you do it like real cool like where you just walked in jesus taylor look at your arms just yeah just walk in like that that would be sick he didn't crack and then you get on your fucking knees and no i just let him you joke i did it like like when i walked in i was like i'm here to surrender you know and he just went right this way oh Oh, that's not as funny as I thought it would be.

All right, shit. Fuck. And took my passport, took my DNA, and I don't remember. I think that's all he took. Did he use his mouth to take your DNA? Yeah, he sucked it out. He sucked it right out of my penis. He's one of the 90s Obama vampires, motherfucker.

He did the little cheek swab. I've had to give DNA a couple times now. This will just take 20 minutes. I'd have done this a long time ago if I'd have known about it. You're going to need weekly samples, I hope. Oh, the cup spilled. Oh, no.

Kyle, when you got out of there, I assume, and I know because you told me, you didn't beat off the whole time. I didn't, I swear. When you got out of there, I know you fucked. But how was that first beat off in freedom?

It was wonderful. All of the things that you like to do in private are are so much sweeter once you have your privacy yeah like i've talked about it before like just using the bathroom having my own toilet my toilet to myself my own shower um my own soap right and when i'm done with my shower i don't have to put my soap in one of those plastic cups and then quickly dry off so I'm not raped before I can get back to my cell. You know, like the quiet of being outside of a dorm full of 100 felons. You know, just being in my house here. At nighttime here, it's so quiet.

Maybe a dog barks occasionally but like if i turn everything off it's like you can hear your heartbeat almost and it's in there it's this constant hum that's why i would wear my headset so much in there and listen to like the radio or tv or whatever i think that that white noise non-stop noise would give me a baseline stress level that's higher than normal for me yeah for sure yeah because sometimes you'd hear people people would like do that thing where like fake get mad at somebody like like like oh yeah yeah yeah and then they all like slap each other enough to stress you out then they all slap each other on the back and laugh about it or whatever but i don't know these

people i don't know their personal relationships i thought a fucking riot was about to break out you know like all sorts of stuff like that people yelling screaming fucking laughing jumping up and down just being obnoxious almost 24 hours a day at night the snoring was incredible so it was just continuous noise so being in the farting

the farting resonating on those concrete walls it was so funny it was just like eight guys snoring like as loud as you've ever heard a human being snoring in life like at least i've heard you snore i've tell me i can compete with these gentlemen you could compete with them eight or nine all right i'm good there was one guy who was like very ill and coughed and hacked all night and like i just remember one night he was coughing and hacking and it was so bad he just he was just after the coughs like like it was like painful and like he couldn't catch his breath and i just remember the black

guy next to me going that nigga sound like he gonna die and like everybody started laughing he was chris rock for a moment like 50 guys are so quiet at night except for the farts and the snores that his voice carried over the walls and like 50 guys lost their shit and started laughing because we're all listening to this guy yeah yeah you can't not he sounds like he's about to die. Oh, you didn't say brother. Oh, no. Soft day. And I was quoting a black man. Which makes it okay.

I think it does. Those are the rules. I love that part in Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry is just quoting the awful thing that someone else said and just gets in so much trouble. In his own house with the people he's giving charity to.

They threatened to leave and accept someone else's charity. I at least saw the highlight. Boogie was about to pop in. I'm curious, do you still write your prison boyfriend when he gets out of your weight? I shared my information with Snow. He wasn't my prison boyfriend, but he was my workout partner and my protector.

Workout, workout partner. Yeah, we became really good friends. Kyle was working out the tensile strength of his asshole. Snow and I became really good friends. I did trade information with him but um i don't think i'm allowed to have contact with him like whenever i i do this thing i did it today even um we're like it's called self-reporting we're like i think like actual like hardcore violent felons especially they're they have to go meet their probation officer and

like answer a lot of questions about what they did this previous month. Maybe they get checked up on fairly regularly to make sure they're not up to no good. I go to a website and I'm like, no, I haven't had any guns this month. No, I haven't had any drugs this month. No, I haven't had any contact with any other felons this month. No, none of my pertinent details have been altered no i don't have a different mailing address no i don't have um this or that no like yes this is still my car yes it's still my address yes it's still my phone number and email submit and like that's basically the only thing that i do other than the random drug test that i have to- No drugs or guns for an entire month? Why even be free at that point?

Forever. So you can't contact other felons? I don't think so. I'm not supposed to have any contact with them. I think that's probably frowned upon. But felons make up a chunk of our population. Yeah, they're not talking about bumping into the guy at the the gas station they're talking about like getting your old gang back together right you might i've known if you might have had a felon in your you know in the edges of your life

before this whole incident sure and maybe there's a way around that you know it's one of those things it seems to me that like if you talk to them and explain what's going on like yeah you know it's whatever i gotta believe is it chuck the alcoholic chuck yeah yeah he's probably a fella i don't think he is i think he's he's a he's a misdemeanor uh serial mister like i said last week he was in jail with me he's gonna pump up those numbers a bit of a loiterer he was literally in jail with me when I got arrested. It was hilarious. I thought that was a joke. No, I swear to God.

I was in jail. I'd been in jail for a day or maybe two, and they wheel Chuck in in a wheelchair, his foot all in a cast. And I'm like, Chuck? Hey, man, what's going on? The fuck are you doing here? I don't remember what he did. Writing bad checks or something.

Man, this is a psy-op to get you comfortable. I remember eating that egg salad and getting free health care. All over his face. Jail sucks. Prisons no fun. Jail sucks.

Like, like, I'm not sure I understand Prison's no fun. Jail sucks. People think they're synonyms. I'm not sure I understand the difference. If you get arrested tonight for a DUI, they take you to jail. If a judge says, 50 years, you go to prison. That's the difference. There are state prisons and federal prisons. I went to federal prison because I was convicted on a federal level.

Those are the differences. Jail is like temporary holding most of the time, or if you're sentenced within a locality, like a county or a city, if you get sentenced for, by your local judge, like right there in your city, in your town for whatever DUI or, uh, petty theft, he can give you 30 days in the County jail. And that's like wherever you're from Franklin County, Georgia jail. And that's where I was. I was in the Franklin County, Georgia jail. And it is awful. I have a theory. Do you think that prison is not as bad because people have had time to stabilize and like whereas jail people are coming and going and they don't match go ahead why tell me what you

know everything is worse the living conditions are meant for temporary stay in jail for one thing or at least short-term prison it's like this might be the rest of your life so you've got sort of a bed i mean not really but it's so much better than the jail bed the jail bed it's a flat piece of steel with a thin little pad on it the prison bed i had like a uh uh it's like a metal square with with like springs in it it's just the springs and a thick pad in jail everyone gets their own bed and on tv they're like in a cell with benches along the sides benches oh so that all right so that's a holding cell uh-huh that's not that's in a jail but they're not being held there for more that that's until they get booked or released that's just a holding cell jail are pods with like communal living where everybody's in a big fucking room

with bunk beds and like there's a tape's in a big fucking room with bunk beds and like there's a tape there's a couple tables and a television that's how i that's that was my situation where you realized there was a pedophile in there with you and yeah a chill matched on to everyone else being like look at that fucking child pedophile fuck yeah yeah we were all in there for like drugs it was it that was it everybody in there for drugs. That was it. Everybody was there for drugs. Respectable crimes. And then one kid he did. Nonviolent.

No one got hurt crimes. This guy smoked some meth. This guy smoked some weed. This guy had a blunt. This guy didn't show up for his probation thing. He violated his whatever. They were all nonviolent? People do violent stuff. Everybody that I saw was non-violent. In the jail.

And then there's the pedophile. There he is. And we're all just like, I don't like that at all. Yeah, I don't like it either. I think we might have to do something. Yeah, we might have to.

I'm like, get the fuck out of here i can't go do nothing i want out i just i wonder what the pedophile did he uh they caught him in it he was he was like um working as a plumber but like not like don't think roto-rooter like someone hired him to come do some plumbing work someone hired him to come do some plumbing work at their home and they caught him in the bathroom with their like eight-year-old daughter with her pants down i guess and uh yeah so i was surprised he was a little beat up i was surprised he made it because dude if i were a king of our country that guy wouldn't get a chance in jail i benefited the doubt way too much i was like well maybe he

had some pictures on his hard drive or something uh you know yeah but he's in him going yeah dude maybe it was yeah dude i fucking love that 11 year old i actually thought maybe it was child anime porn like why did i go there like he's that innocent there were no humans because you're mr benefit the Dow. I have a problem that way. I wish you were my judge. Judge Woodworth, I'm pretty sure someone planted that marijuana on me. You know?

You ever been in trouble before? No, and I'm kind of famous on the internet. People are always sending me things. Wow! Not guilty. Not guilty. You should all be ashamed of yourself for bringing this before me. I don't know why I just assumed.

I even thought there was a fair chance. Next case. This is the case of Rapy McRaperson. How you doing, my friend? Did she really say she didn't want it? How short was her skirt? Case dismissed short was her asking for it mr what were this home is filled and i was like i'm the only man around to take care of the job you know when you put me in jail for this, it's kind of a little bit racist. Yeah. A little bit so.

Yeah. You're going to put Danny Trejo in jail for fucking a 19-year-old? You know, I was on a swim team, too. A 19-year-old who turned out to be an 11-year-old? Jesus Christ. She was so developed, man. I was like, these titties don't say 14. They say 34DD. welcome to men writing women badly

and this is a fucking way that goes so yeah yeah jail is horrific uh prison is no fun it's although again i was in like low security prison like not there was in low security prison. There was a medium security there, and they were stabbing each other up there. They were literally stabbing each other up there. This isn't a loaded question, but how long do you think you would have had to stay in prison before the urge to fuck got to you?

And you looked at a man ass and was like that'll do how long well it took about seven minutes i mean that was like a minute two to four for me they said i missed the transsexual uh they said that she was walking around with some big old titties and and uh and everybody she had all kinds of guys following her around apparently snow was one of them and uh but but i didn't uh you know i don't know i was just so stressed out that it was like that wasn't on my mind i just i didn't get horny at all i was just afraid a lot and like like stressed a lot like really stressed and really and afraid i was thinking about the other day when you were like i didn't shit for 21 days and I was imagining

on day 21 some fucking rapist being like yeah I finally got you fucking and then he sticks his dick in and it's just a plume of shit that is pouring out of him just fucking

pushing down on that on the fucking fucking play-doh thing getting the shapes to come out that's what it would be just i i picture him trying to fuck kyle in the ass but it's like a musket for some reason it's been loaded 97 times and it's all to the tip man have you shit in a while you You feel pretty fucking filled up, brother. Yeah. What are you hiding in there? I have a question.

Why is it so hard when I put my dickhead in your ass? So you did well in, I think, light security prison. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Do you think that you would have been able to thrive in medium security prison? I don't know. I don't know. Like I said, they were stabbing each other up there a lot.

They put them on lockdown, and they were picking a dozen of us to go up there and make their sandwiches for them and then deliver them to their cells. That was one of the jobs they picked me for, but then found i wasn't medically cleared so i didn't have to i did not want to go up there they're like our we had the razor wire in the in the 12 foot tall fences or whatever they had like that times five like in layers you know like with all kinds of scary shit um i don't know man everybody talked like it was and they tried to make you serve ham and cheese to them peanut butter and jelly um yeah oh even a worse sandwich they would have been so shit i i'd have made them good the problem with that i feel like the the price of fouling up is too high right right? Like, okay, so you changed the channel on a television at one point. Someone got frustrated with you.

And it was my television. Yours is in the white people's television? Yeah, and whatever. I don't understand the social dynamics there. But if you were in media security, maybe he goes violent instead of verbally aggressive. Yeah. Yeah, he probably does. Because I was resistant to changing the channel.

I was like, you got three TVs over there, man. What's the deal? We watch the news! In the mornings, we watch the news! He's getting all like, black people don't usually get red, but he's getting a little red. We watch the news here, fella!

And I was kind of a smartass and I was kind of a smart ass I was kind of a smart ass about changing it back I was like there you go and I was like glad you didn't stab me just trying to save a little face that's tricky

I want to get Kyle's prison ranking of who of the three of us would do best and worst. Make it four. In what prison? The place I was at? The place you were at. Kind of your understanding of prison. Who of me, Boogie, Woody would do the worst or the best and why? Oh, I know the answer to this. Easy, but go ahead. I think

that you would all be okay. I think we can be a little socially awkward occasionally and maybe say the wrong thing when he doesn't mean to, and that would be the only one of us. Oh, you don't think that's a problem I fucking have? The guys that look like you in there

all kind of banded together and played board games and Monopoly and stuff and really didn't interact with anybody else. Oh, shit. Okay, yeah. There was a bunch of 30 to 40-year-old, 30 to 50-year-old white dudes with beards or goatees or whatever who were doing five to 20 years, and they'd just go play fucking Monopoly and do their own thing. That is my demo thing. Yeah. If you stuck with that crowd, wouldn't you be okay. But it's, it's the interactions you have to have, like doing laundry and lunch and people would steal from the white guys a lot.

They would like take valuable things out of their lockers. And I feel like you'd want to stick up for yourself. Maybe like, I feel like you in particular might have a hard time if you said the wrong thing to the wrong person, but not maybe not i had a problem because i think a lot of them found me attracted taylor's big and strong i feel like he can really handle himself and i don't think anybody's gonna mess with him and there was a crowd of like pumped up white dudes that sort of worked out together and did all sorts of like uh like body workouts and they care they did stuff with rocks you know because that we didn't have weights. We had rocks. And those are my boys.

I'm going to tie up with them immediately. Yeah. You'd be one of the bedrock boys and, and you'd be out there fucking having a, you'd be Fred Flintstone out there for six months. Some of those guys were ripped. Like they look like professional. It'd be the perfect opportunity to cut all this shit off my front half. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't, I don't think any i think i mostly had a problem because i had such a short sentence that it was suspicious and i'm a pretty man taylor you are a pretty man you know if i were in prison for a couple years and i saw your pretty ass walk in i can agree if i were in prison for a few days and I saw Kyle, it'd be a boogie. He doesn't know this, but I made friends with this, uh, this, this like 60, 60 year old black man.

He had a broken radio and in prison you use a little handheld radio, battery powered and a headset to listen to the televisions we have. We have five televisions in the, in the like media room and you dial them into a station and it's that TV and the, it's pretty cool system and it dial them into to uh a station and it's that tv and the it's pretty cool system and it forces you all to buy a hundred dollar radio and uh i bought a good headset so it was like 35 so it forces you all to do that plus now there's not the a constant hum of tvs playing over one another right so everybody can do their own thing and you can control volume how you want it you want it loud as fuck do it quiet you can do that anyway i saw a black guy his shit's all broken up put together with masking tape and i'm like hey man i see your radio is broken he's like yeah i

dropped this piece of shit it barely works and i'm like hey i'm getting out of here two months when i leave get with me i'll i'll get you can have mine. He's like, I can have it? I was like, yeah, no big deal, man. What am I going to do with a radio outside? I got a car. I got a TV and stuff. I don't need a radio. I don't own one out there now. I don't want one when I leave. You could use it. He was really appreciative of this, so much so that he was always giving me stuff to like make up for the value that i was eventually giving him like six packs of diet pepsi he gave me some uh some flip-flops that were like 35 dollars he gave you a six pack of diet pepsi isn't that like a like it's like five dollars gift yeah yeah well the the flip-flops were like 35 dollars like he was always giving me stuff

and uh he comes by my bunk one day and i'm i'm top bunk in a four-man cell and uh i'm reading stephen king or something he walks by and he goes hey just wanted to let you know uh i heard some guy over there talking he wants to get with you and i went what yeah his name is taylor and he's got a real feeling for your ass this guy over there and he said he wants to get with you i just thought you should know and And I'm like, well, you tell him I'm not looking to get with anybody and I won't go down without a fight. And he's like, Hey,

I'm just letting you know, I thought you should know. And he walks away and I'm just sitting there like, it's trying to jump back into Harry Potter. This is week three. And then Hermione casts a spell. This is week three. I'm trying to forget youione, cast a spell. This is weak. This is like

day 20 of 60. I just had started feeling comfortable in this place. I felt like I had some friends. I felt like I had my TV scheduled down. My workout down. I know where the library is. I'm cool with the librarian.

He's recommending me good books. Now somebody wants to get with me. I lived in fear for the next 40 days. You know, they got a good look at your asshole when you were showering, and goddamn, it looks tight as can be. Don't even tell me if I'm wrong, but it looks like fucking nothing's ever been up there without your permission. That's something that they really like.

Yeah. And so like after, like I would, I was very strategic about when and how I showered, you know, like I would only shower if my buddy was in there showering, but I had to be careful about that because I don't want to look like I'm wanting to shower with my buddy. Right. So I would, I would sit really high up on my bunk so I could wanting to shower with my buddy. Right. So I would, I would sit really high up on my bunk so I could see way over the other in the dorm.

And when I saw my buddy getting his towel, I beat him to the bathroom. I'd be in there when he came. So it was like, he was going to shower with me. So I feel like he started feeling a little awkward, like, well,

shower, you know, when you walk up the door, you go shower. And whoever was last to walk into the shower room calls out the numbers of the stalls that are open. So like I'm in there, I'm in five. That's the good one. And he goes shower. And I'm like one, two and four. And he's like going in four. And I'm like, yeah, come on over here, buddy. Right next to me. Come on down. And I go, heard.

And he comes over there and we shower up. And I did that every day. I always made sure that I had. Did you artificially make your voice slower to make it sound more intimidating? You're like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'd go, shower. I wouldn't go shower Shower boys

I'm feeling better today There's a delicate lilac in the butthole Anyone wanna play? Shower If only I had someone to wash my ass Did you guys know soap makes good lube? Just saying So does blood Who's got the baby oil? Did you guys know soap makes good lube? Just saying. It burns your dick.

Who's got the baby oil? Soap burns. That would be so much fun if you said that. That was his objective. You probably weren't committed to the bit at the time. I was not committed to any bit. And then leaving. I'm just trying so hard not to look at the time. I was not committed to any bit. And then leaving, I'm just trying so hard

not to look at anybody naked. Because a lot of times they turn around because they don't want their back turned to whoever's walking past them. I noticed that. That seemed like some prison shit. If I'm showering, I would kind of turn a little sideways, but these guys turn around

and face the door and cover their dick and balls, like ready to throw down if somebody tries to come in behind them. They cover their dick and balls? Who cares? Just fucking turn and face and wash. Keep your arms at the ready. Do your hair.

Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Woo! Whirlwind! Whirlwind!

I was about to say the same joke. Helicopter! Yeah, that one weird fucker from Missouri is doing like a helicopter all the time. We don't care for it. He's telling us he's not a weirdo, but like, evidence is what it is. He keeps telling us, man, like he had a good friend who was in here before,

and I'm telling him, dude, that's not what Kyle was like. Kyle was all to himself, and this fella shaking his dick around and being weird. That was a funny joke, but I think I'm going to rape him anyway. Yeah, I wouldn't shave the whole time I was in there because I thought that would make me less attractive maybe and less feminine. I didn't shave for like

75 days or something. I came out looking like an actual homeless person. It was so goddamn itchy. I remember the same black guy who told me somebody wanted to get with me came by and goes, you don't shave, huh? And I was like, nah, I made this little bet with my friends. I said I wouldn't shave when I was in here.

He's like, you don't even want to edge it up a little bit. Because all up here, I've got long hairs. They're like two inches long at this point. Up here, way above like oh yeah the picture that kitty took of you after you right got out of prison you're standing there triumphant i just looked at that and i was like man this this is the worst i've ever seen kyle like he he looks like he's intentionally made himself look you know terrible. That's what I did. Yeah. And you looked terrible.

Yeah. I was so happy to shave when I got back home. I mean if I was horny enough though I bet that ass looks fine. That shit's fucking funny. I think the only thing you needed to not shave was your ass. If I'm being honest. I don't shave my ass anyway. It's a fucking thicket down there.

Gonna ruin that many razors. I like it when the poop just has to crawl down the rope of my anus. Just descend down the rope like an asshole. It's like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom trying to get into the toilet. It's like the queen in the Temple of Doom trying to get into the toilet. It's like the queen in

Aliens laying the eggs. It's exactly that. Alright, well that's four hours. I've enjoyed having you, Boogie. Thank you for coming on. I wish you luck in all of your future endeavors. Thank you. Happy physical health. Happy mental health.

Stay strong. Glad this Newsweek thing is a thing you're doing. That's very cool. Where would you like to direct any of our listeners here? I'm doing a kind of fun narrative on my main channel, the Boogie298 channel. Check out the last few videos. It's kind of different from what I've done before, but I'm really having fun with it. New video coming out next week.

And then my travel channel, Boogie Travels, currently on hiatus as I just get my shit together. But going back to traveling, I'm wanting to do Disney World this year. I'm wanting to do Disneyland. I'm hoping to do a few cons. Hoping to hit the Grand Canyon. Hoping to hit Branson next

month, like in two weeks. Be driving some famous cars hopefully a DeLorean I've heard maybe the Dumb and Dumber Mobiles to check it out when he travels and yeah I just saw a text from Andy up there and he said we might be able to dig out the Dumb and Dumber Mobiles so I might be driving the same

vehicle that Tim Perry drove that's very cool well check out Boogie no outros Kyle? no I don't think so DKA 481