Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #484

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

In this week's PKA, our good friend, shooter of guns and flier of... wing suits, Richard Ryan is back and the guys talk about the recent Netflix sensation that is "Tiger King", a mix of UFC, hockey and making sports like golf better discussion because PKA always knows how to improve already existing major sports better than anyone else and the guys look back on their worst school teachers and share stories back from the K-12 days of their long, long, LOOOOOONG lives. So pull up a chair and tune in during quarantine!

pka 484 with our guest richard ryan kyle a couple of sponsors tonight postmates and smart mouth we'll get to them later in the show but yeah we got our good buddy richard ryan back on been a little while how you doing buddy good it's been a hot minute i love it in the house yes um son of a bitch i know we have the well it's different because we lease 1400 acres here in Texas, uh, for the coffee. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's relatively close to the greater metro area of, uh, San Antonio. So, uh, I leave from my place to go there. So it's never really any stopping anywhere else or anything like that. But, uh, you you gotta keep content going and everything so yeah barely 500 hectares ha i'll pretend i know what that means is it 100 acres it's a youtuber he started optic and oh i instantly knew what a hectare was yeah a lot of hectares and 1400 acres no it's great you realize because i have a really really really tiny uh apartment that i live in and you realize really quick soon as you quarantine or you start self-isolating it's like oh man this is this is small this is uh you you try to prepare

like when i lived in la i was in like a five bedroom house i had you know earthquake supplies i had water i had two months worth of rations and stuff like that because you know if that that system breaks down fire supply chain in an earthquake or something like that it's like you want to be prepared and with this i was like okay i got a normal-sized refrigerator and freezer. I can probably get three days' worth of toaster strudels in here, and that's about it. I expected so much more from you.

I know. I got a lot better thousands of rounds of ammo. Thousands of rounds of ammo. No food. You know the same people I know. There's so many preppers in the community that are just like like scary prepped like i'm talking about on the show in the in the last few weeks like i uh i bought a cow a while back like like like and and i've been raising her ultimate prep the ultimate prep and i

now have a mini herd there's there's three of them we're about to slaughter old bessie and i'm gonna buy a deep freeze and just fill that bitch up with a whole cow worth of beef. I'm not running out of food. I haven't been out of the house. I haven't been in my car in weeks. A cow's worth of beef. You're set. That's an enormous amount of beef. You're going to die of heart disease before anything gets done.

It's a lot of beef. When you say that, we've got a lot of people that we know that are hardcore preppers. In part, that's probably one reason why I don't have such a huge stockpile of stuff because you have ox ranches right down the road from us. Yeah, that's a good point. You could just live there forever just on the game and the water that's there. His children will have canned peas. And their own cows.

The ultimate prep would involve having a bull too, right? That's how this works. I'm not necessarily looking to breed these heifers that I've gotten. It seems like a way to get free cows. I would hope not, Mr. Generate. If it happens, it happens.

Dad's got a whole herd of cattle. There's a bull in there. I feel like chickens are the ultimate prepping animal to have around. Chickens and rabbits. They're shitting out eggs all the time. They're kind of mean and dirty, and they don't smell good. But then they outlive their usefulness, and you can eat them. I was about to say, that's not where eggs come from, but I've been wrong before.

Yeah, and that is true, because they're shitting their eggs coming out of the same hole. Is it true? The cloaca. I'm glad I didn't make fun of you. Are you aware that the eggs that we eat are... Vagina, asshole, and... Chicken periods. Chicken periods.

Yeah, the eggs we eat are chicken periods. Not fertilized. Not fertilized, yeah. Those are the... Yeah, those are the unused... What if women did that? Those North Georgia boys got the 4-H growing up. Dude, it just puts a highlight on how useless

women's periods are. Instead of spending five days all bloated, uncomfortable, and bleeding, ladies just laid an egg. That would be so much better. That would be great. You hear them for 15 minutes in the bathroom once a month.

Just, don't you flush that the next breakfast you wake up you hear eggs yeah well egg egg

who wants egg this morning I'll go with the chickens how big would the egg be would it be like uncomfortably large ostrich egg would it be chicken egg size how big is the chickens. How big would the egg be? Would it be like uncomfortably large ostrich egg? Would it be chicken egg size? I don't know. How big is the chicken's cloaca compared to the size of the egg? Because if we're going by that gauge.

You can just barely fuck it. Barely. Okay. You can like pinky fuck it a little bit. So I would say going by that size, we'd be seeing like five times, ten. Actually, no, more like ten times the size of a chicken egg, right? When you're judging them, you do reach up in there. Yeah.

I don't date anyone. I think it would be the size of a baby's head, right? Yeah. My head is a baby. We'd be living in an all-male society. We all know that your mother exploded during birth. We're sorry. She passed while she was giving birth to him.

It's like, how? Massive blood loss. I've never seen it before. Actually, spontaneous combustion. Exploded. So all you guys have been self-isolating, staying at home. Pretty much. I haven't been as long as these two, but I've

been doing it for like uh a week now and it's been not that great i mean i still go out to the store if i need something but i'm really really limiting it you know i've kind of stopped that at this point because i'm now realizing toilet paper is not coming back anytime soon i've got enough toilet paper for like i don't know i'm kind of making that up. Like toilet paper, I've got maybe two weeks worth of toilet paper. And then I've got a fuck ton of paper towels.

I don't want to be flushing paper. I don't want to wipe my ass with paper towels. It's not that bad. It's not that gentle either. I'm a tender, a sensitive asshole. The modern anus is so coddled. My anus is so coddled. That's a Dwight Schrute quote.

I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Okay, so most of my life, I felt like Jackie has had it kind of easy, right? I have to bring the money in, and then she runs the house. And bringing the money in is like the more stressful, challenging, like I'm out there battling the world,

and she's in here in the cocoon. Now the tables have turned, right? Toilet paper? I don't know, woman, just make it happen, would you? Like, yeah, I went to four different stores to sell chicken. She's knitting in there. Why are you bothering me with this? Like, that's really your task.

And she's out there like foraging for whatever we need. Toilet paper, we don't have a problem. Apparently we had an Amazon subscription. She opens this like double door closets. She's like, yeah, we really shouldn't. It should have been 12 weeks instead of six, I guess. See, what a happy accident.

I thought she was hoarding the wet wipes. We keep those in the house. Because I don't know how many we have. Like the packages of them, like 150, like a lot. Way how many we have. The packages of them? 150? A lot. Way more than we need. I was looking into ordering one of those bidets that you just hook up to your

toilet. You just screw it into the water line or whatever and you have a little remote. I guess maybe that's how all bidets work where you sit on it and then there's a little dial on the side. And then I was thinking I'll end up fucking up that installation somehow. I set mine to a live stream camera

and the viewers control it. That's hilarious. You're just taking streams off the front stream on your nuts the whole time. Yeah, they get extra points if they hit the hole. It's a fun game. They love it. Yeah, they love it.

Welcome to my Twitch stream. Upward angle look at your hairy asshole. Yeah. Actually, I bet your asshole isn't that hairy. Mm-mm. I bet it's got a decent amount of hair, but I bet it's less than you'd think. I bet your toes rival your asshole in hairiness.

Oh, well, I shave the toes with my beard trimmer. Because they get long. My toe hair gets pretty outrageous. You do have some long toe hair. It gets itchy. Socks pull it backwards, and then when you take them off, they're really sore. I just shave all that off. That's the best feeling ever, taking off long socks

after a long day and feeling all your leg... Then my leg hair goes up, and the kids come and touch it, and you're almost Bill Cosby now, apparently. So, Bill... Not Bill. Joe Biden's losing his mind like this was funny for a while this is like borderline abuse at this point where they're just like get out there joe and he's just doesn't know where it did there was a clip from a couple weeks ago where he's like

doing an address on a live stream and he's reading it off his phone and he just turns and walks off camera while he's reading it and like has to be directed back on the screen he forgot that he was on camera yeah yeah he totally forgets that he's on camera he's he is not with it at all i don't know what they're gonna do with him it's just he's not with it i gotta here's a i found a funny video today let me see did you see jake tapper scolding him about his cough i i did not but i would like to see that too he scolded joe biden about it yeah yeah here's like a two minute clip of his like last five public appearances i will i look forward to this i want to see what's

up because i watched joe biden before we click i'm skewed up at zero before we click play i see these highlight clips and he looks like a buffoon and then i see him talk for 25 minutes straight on a debate stage or doing an interview and those buffoon moments are just either they don't happen at all or it's 10 seconds out of 30 minutes i don't think he's a buffoon. He sounds like a buffoon. I think he sounds like someone who's having a real difficult grasp on knowing where he is and what he's saying and early bits of dementia. But let's see. Ready, set, play.

Good evening, everyone. And all Americans should be grateful to the Speaker's leadership and for Minority Leader Schumer's leadership. We're going to work in the direction of making sure that we make sure that everyone, in fact, has access to education. I'm going to endorse, I've endorsed the loss of, that you would have, in fact, any doctor's bill you have, but even I can't do that for another two years, another year between now and November, or actually January. They can't do that for another two year another a year between now and November Or actually January they can't build any factories or any any anything within one mile of the estuary of the Delaware River And the Atlantic Ocean and the chest he forgot and so the whole point of this is that we can do a lot

They put an overlay by the way to fix that worse no matter what why doesn't he just act like a president that's a stupid way to say sorry go ahead no no no i'm just really hanging can't forget the guy. It's like, I don't know, it's like watching a yo-yo. I shouldn't have said it that way. It's like watching a yo-yo. I want to ask you.

I want to. We need to activate the reserve. A lot of that was that giant delay they had. A number of responders dealing with these crush of cases. And in addition to that, we have to make sure that we are in a position that we are, well, let me go to the second thing I've spoken of. The child. Bring me the child. We make a personal productive equipment. Look, here's the deal.

We have to do what we did in the 40s and the 20s and the 2020s. Tending to our elderly loved ones. This is the United States. He added the numbers. Oh. Thanks. Thanks. That's the secretary. You did good. You did good you did good honey is that his secretary's wife that's his wife his wife's like joe and then he comes off the uh yeah he's he is not with it at all

i've heard that he has a stutter and that's a like a a process. The way he pauses is a process of compensating. He had a giant stutter as a child. And what's left is some of what you see. And you take those moments and you clip them together for two minutes and he looks awful. But if you actually watch him for 20 minutes, he only looks bad. I think they inject him with something for those debates i think that i think after the debate whenever the fucking amphetamines have worn off he's a wreck for a week and then we don't see him for that period of time like like like it

it's like they're i'm look at watch my video the one at the bottom cnn's jake tapper scolds biden for not coughing into his elbow it's kind of reassuring because like if the elites actually oh never mind this is six minutes long flash oh yeah i'm not watching a six minute video of him yeah never mind essentially joe just starts coughing and he's like uh mr mr vice president you're supposed to cough into your elbow i i actually learned that from your administration the obama administration it's it's he's constantly just trump's going to destroy him trump's going to destroy him in the debate it's going to be embarrassing yeah he's going to start stuttering it's going to be bad this virus thing is helping trump's numbers like his approval rating like it it's been good for him like the

even i in i was surprised how high it was 60 of people on a gallop poll are approving his of his handling of the virus thing which is like you know i they probably could have done a lot more and shutting people down way faster instead of not so i i don't know i mean this is looking out it's about 2020 that's what's coming what are your trump voter now right yep i don't like any of them uh trump's numbers are better but they still suck dick right and i feel like we always look at trump's numbers through this lens of how much like how much fucking dick they suck throughout his term he has some of the lowest approval numbers of,

I was going to say non-impeach president. He only competes with Nixon in how bad his shit is. His numbers have improved. He has 50% disapproval and 45% approval right now, right? Taylor was referred to something different in his handling of the coronavirus, but his overall presidential approval and disapproval, 50% disapproved, 45% approved. That still sucks. No one gets reelected with those numbers. But I think Trump might. He's up against a really weak candidate. And we'll see how it goes. Also, it's really hard to...

But the question was... Am I a Trump guy? You're a Trump voter now, right? Not necessarily. The Gallup poll... Not necessarily. Every poll is different, but the Gallup poll has a 49% approve

of Trump, 45% disapprove it can be fact checked here's the adjusted weighted average of the recent polls I think what's most important to look at Woody is the fact that you are an educated

intelligent man and you're fully aware of all this, and yet you're like, yeah, I'm a Trump voter. Let's not talk. That's why Donald Trump's going to win. We'll see. Did you see the unemployment numbers?

3.2? 3.5 million or something like that this week. The previous worst week ever in the history of America was 900,000. And now it's three and a half million. It's about to be rough global pandemic. It's just like, it's funny looking at our economy where it's like,

Oh, it's like 70% of people are paycheck to paycheck. And almost all the companies they work for are paycheck to paycheck. And apparently the government is working paycheck. Like, like everybody seems like they're about nine days of inactivity away from collapsing that's super frustrating yeah i i because i've worked for a big company like cisco they're not paycheck to paycheck i should look up how many billions they have but it'll be something like 45 50 billion dollars worth of money in the bank

and i kind of forgot that other companies didn't have cash reserves like to me it's like all the bigums have like giant cash reserves right yes well no and the frustrating thing is you like you see a lot of people make fun of like warren buffett for sitting on what is it like 120 or 125 billion dollars um and and and liquidity and then you have companies like the the airline industry where they spent 96 percent of their their cash flow on stock buybacks and i know the average person doesn't really take into consideration why stock buybacks are good or bad or anything but it you guys up, on that far as the airlines or anything? Maybe not as much as you. Yeah. So, so essentially for people who are listening that may not,

may not get it, what you do is, um, when your company makes X amount of cash, instead of reinvesting into the company and say, take black rifle coffee as an example, because it's what I know. Right. So all of our cashflow over the last few years, we reinvest in the company and scaling it. So we opened a roasting facility in Nashville, as well as the one in Salt Lake, distribution and everything else. So you're taking that money and you're reinvesting in the company. Well, what the airlines are doing is taking 96% of that cash flow and doing stock buyback. So it's putting buy side pressure in the open market against the stock price. And most of these executives get bonuses in stock.

So when you're taking 96% of your cash flow and artificially inflating the value of that stock, you can take and sell your stocks on the open market for way more money and only pay 20% tax on it versus the 33 or whatever bracket you run into. So you're only paying capital gains tax on it. And the problem with that is when a lot of these corporations do that, they don't have any safety net. I feel like the airlines outside of the 737 or 777 MAX, whatever, MAX 8 or whatever the airplane is, outside of that, they could have floated this

for six months. If they didn't need to reinvest that money back into the companies, they could have floated that. In my opinion, that's an example of poor leadership because they weren't planning for the future. They weren't protecting their employees. They were more worried about, well, boosting the stock price than they were protecting the company. They knew they were going to get bailed out. There's just pieces of that I don't agree with. That's unfortunate. The reason the stock price goes up, according to me, is not buy side pressure. It's because with fewer outstanding shares, there are more earnings per share and the stock is worth more. If I pay $15 or 15 times price earnings ratio, there's 100 shares out there and I earn $100 per total.

Each share is worth $15. If I buy back half of it, each share is worth $30 because there's only 50 outstanding instead of 100. That's how stock buyback works. But you're buying it in an open market and you're using the company's money to do it. Right. Which is fine, right? Because companies are under a legal obligation to reward the owners, right? If I said that these companies are taking the money and they're funneling it all to the employees and giving the middle finger to the stockholders, the people that own it, that would be corrupt. That's not how we work. What they're supposed to do is take care of the stockholders.

I do agree with the part where you said it's short-term thinking, right? It's a failure in leadership. Because now they're over a barrel. They didn't prepare for a rainy day, and they've got their palm out looking for handouts. They don't really have an incentive to prepare for a rainy day, though, because they know they're going to get bailed out every time. It would seem so. If I'm making a decision, I do exactly know they're going to get bailed out every time it would seem so if i'm making a decision i do exactly what they did yeah so if there are two branches of of history and one of them is where they do the right thing and one of them is where they do what they've done the one that we're currently in where they do what they've done and buy back their stock is

the one where they're much more profitable in the end their stock prices are higher but see that's where i get frustrated frustrated. So to give you another case study is you take Blockbuster Inc. IPO'd in 1999. And it IPO'd for, it was a little over, a little under $450 million. In 2000, the co-founders of Netflix

pitched them the company for $50 million. And according to one of the co-founders book, the CEO of Blockbuster Inc. laughed them out of the room. In 2010, they took and they filed for bankruptcy. It's because the leadership didn't have the foresight and seeing what the consumers ultimately wanted and being able to adapt the business. And you take like the, the, the current situation right now, you see a lot of businesses like the food and dining industries shifting to take out delivery that they might not have offered

it before people shift, shifting to e-comm and stuff like that. And I applaud those companies for doing that. If they didn't, if they didn't have the foresight and doing that, or the agility and being able to adapt to that industry, man, you've got to let these other companies come in and take their place. It's like if Delta goes bankrupt, does that mean people aren't going to want to fly tomorrow? No. Like, okay, well, cool. Go auction those airplanes off. Let Warren Buffett come in there and buy the thing up for pennies on the dollar.

I'm sure he'd like to make that a profitable business. What if I told you the actual result of that was American goes out of business, United takes over and has a near monopoly in America and they could charge anything they want? What if that was the alternative timeline for letting someone else take over? I think that one, United couldn't purchase those airlines. That would definitely bring on an antitrust lawsuit. I don't know. I've watched it happen with cell phone companies for decades now. Yeah, that's true.

But you have to think that there are plenty of companies that are profitable out there right now or people that have the liquidity that would step in and buy that because it's a proven business model. that have the liquidity that would step in and buy that because it's a proven business model. Even some of the airlines now are adapting by taking the airplanes and making them just a logistics transport, helping FedEx and everything else. It's hard to say.

The answer is to disallow the stock buyback with any money that they're getting from our government. Like what he says, I don't completely disagree with that, right? Because you are taking the financial best interest of the stockholders for doing that. But when you're so over leveraged by taking 90% or 96% of your cash flow in doing that, you're clearly not taking into account that you don't have an insurance policy if something does happen.

What if they wanted to buy more stock into Boeing because they wanted to have some type of exclusive aircraft or something like that? It's like there's many different ways of reinvesting in your company outside of just by side pressure to their stock. It's not even their fucking money. It's our money. That's not fair.

In this case, it's our money. And I think there actually are restrictions on stock buybacks. Originally, I don't think there were. But when the Democrats and Republicans started battling, that stuff got in there. They also put restrictions on laying people off. I know for some of these, you give loans out. But if they keep people on the payroll,

even though they're at home, the loans become it's essentially grants grants yeah so um so that's what they're doing but the last time when they pitched the tax cuts they told everyone hey if we just give your boss more money i'm sure he'll give it to you you're all getting raises you're gonna love it you'll have so much money you'll think you've got're going to love it. You'll have so much money. It'll trickle down. Yeah, it'll trickle. You'll have too much money. Are you talking about TARP? No, I'm talking about the tax cuts at the start of the Trump administration.

And what they actually did is they used that extra cash flow to buy back stock. And it's in part why the stock market was rising and rose. That's what I'm looking for. It's partly why the stock market rose. Because they bought back their stock and then each share was worth more. The same amount of earnings or even more earnings with fewer outstanding shares.

Price earnings ratio goes up. Stock price goes up. That's basic. But it was kind of a lie to tell people that that money was going to go. If I just cut in taxes for your employer,

you'll get more cash. No. people's pay is based on the supply and demand for their talents not how much your boss has so we need to so in a way the coronavirus is going to raise wages by killing people i see what you're saying that's outside yeah yeah that's what i'm getting at yeah you know the coronavirus is a job creator. Not really. It has occurred to me that, like, if we just shuffle this deck and then everyone goes back,

what if this creates more productivity, right? What if there are people who've been coasting in their jobs, you know, kind of overemployed, resting on their laurels, who don't get that position back? And then there are people who are underemployed and that you know who get a better job coming out of this every time i've ever had some sort of job shakeup that seemed like a bad thing it was a good thing in the end you know i was able to land on my feet and and keep running yeah or you see how unnecessary travel is and v how vtc can actually productive. Video teleconferencing? Yeah.

Everybody's on Zoom now. I always thought conferences were a complete waste and a very inefficient way to demonstrate your wares, right? Like what Steve Jobs did, what he used to do, he'd go out there and he'd show off the iPhone and we'd all be stuck in his reality distortion field. I think that's what they called it. It was amazing. And really, the what they called it. Was amazing.

And it really, the magic wasn't being in the audience. The magic was watching him on camera. That's where the bulk of the people, it wasn't the thousand watching him. It was the millions watching him on video. It seems like now these companies that do these conferences and have people come in and they fly and they stay in Boston and do that, that's dumb. We could replace all that with a teleconference comparable thing. And I wonder if this will push that forward. You can definitely replace a lot of it. I'm seeing that now. I still have calls every single day,

usually a number of them. And the biggest benefit is all these calls that are replacing in-person meetings that I would have had to been at. It's maybe a quarter as long now. Like everybody gets on just wham, bam. Thank you, man. What do you need from me? What do I need from you? There we go. Let's do that. How's everybody doing? Getting bored in quarantine? All right. Stay safe out there. Boom. That's it. It it's awesome but as far as totally replacing it like there are aspects of sales that like you you cannot sell as well to someone through a video conference as you can face to face you demand a different level of attentiveness the eye contact is different the body language is important like you do it is way more helpful

if you're trying to sell something to a retailer to press the flash happy so the 1v1 or even the 1v7 type thing i couldn't agree more taylor it's amazing and sometimes you travel to meet your co-workers in california or india or whatever and you develop a little relationship with them that helps that that wouldn't be developed it was just over the phone but the 1v1000 the 1v500, you're better off just getting good audio and video. It's a UFC fight, right? When we go to the crowd and watch the UFC fights, it's always underwhelming. Never again. You can't see anything.

You can offer to fly me to Vegas and put me in that $500 seat and I would turn you down. I would say, no, I'm going to watch my 75 inch fucking 4k TV and have my snacks and my toilet eight steps away. That's what's happening. As soon as the fight's over, I'm going right to my bed. That's 20 steps away. Like, like you'll see in particular because you watch through a cage it's really hard to see um but you know at home you see a good video the good audio you've got joe rogan telling you what he's seeing you know he spots injuries and things that i i don't on my own he's really good at his job but yeah so if you wanted to teach a thousand people about your product and you're trying to do that in a stadium it's

suck yeah i think they need to have the fighters down in a hole and us up above them like a gladiator fight like a gladiatorial arena like that's why those worked they should implement swords too and loincloths i look there's there's already the that like night versus night combat and i would now that i would go to see and the way they do that they have a ring and it's in it's in the bottom of like a a bowl and everybody's sitting on the grass and like sitting on like like towels and shit and cheering and those guys get down they fuck each other up those are the toughest autistic people on earth sword and shield and they're all named like thor bjornsson or some nonsense they take that helmet off and it's a nordic fucking god who's in there he's like this

is what i was born to do those are the kind of guys who are like yeah punch them with their shield or their gauntlet they got a big broadsword they're swinging and hitting each other and those guys were like afterward to be like you guys want to go to a bar and they'd go there and be like hey you should go talk to that girl and be like what are you crazy no these are men these are the these are alpha males in in like nordic countries these guys are hard fucking have you ever seen anything no you're thinking you've never seen what i'm talking about this is i think it's called like heavy metal combat or something they dress up as knights and they fight until there's a knockout it's like mixed martial arts with shield and sword i did a little bit of what taylor did i thought they were the toughest larpers though like yeah my first year at cisco the it department threw on these

carnival game things right and? And there were athletic competitions. Like there was a potato sack jumping thing. There was boxing. There was a climbing thing. A couple different things. Oh my God. I was a man amongst children in this thing. I won.

There were like eight events. Eat my dust, Patel. Dude, there were like eight events. Eat my dust, Patel. Dude, there were like eight events. Maybe 250 competitors. I got seven first places and a something else, like a third. It was fucking ridiculous. Woody, you're ruining the fun for me. I swear to God, this is true.

It was my first year there. I was 26. I wrecked everyone in boxing. Like, you know, so it was like an NCAA. The gloves were giant. They were like, you know. Like sock and boppers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But these people didn't understand the very basics of, like, look for an opening and hit the guy in the face. They were just like, I don't know, windmilling or something. And yeah, so people who- Deborah from accounting took quite the pummeling back then. People who got like knocked out were like, Woody, I want to try you. I want to try you. And there was one guy,

like I literally knocked the snot out of him. Like it squirted across his face. So embarrassing. After a while, I was like, there's no reason for me to keep there's no one else i yeah is that no one else you were looking at the baddest man in east coast cisco it right here he throws his gloves at the hr department tyler way to tell if these guys are as tough as you're saying is if you go up to them in the middle of the competition or as they're getting there, and you go,

hey, man, what's your name? If they go, Ted, that guy's tough. If they go, I am Thurman, lord of the seven kings. It's like, all right, this guy. These guys are Icelandic and shit. I'm telling you, these guys are from Nordic countries. Do they have made up characters

or are they just coming there to beat each other up? No, you're completely misunderstanding what this is about. This is a combat sport, shield and sword. It is not for silliness. Are you sure they didn't evolve

from LARPing? Are they pretending to be wizards and stuff? Are these people who just get a little too out of control in LARPing and get sent into the corner? I feel like you're either mocking me or you're very ignorant about what I'm describing right now. I'm leaning toward the mockery. It's not mocking you.

I'm really not. I just always. It's called like full metal combat or something. I've seen it and they're totally badass, but I always kind of projected they rose out of the LARPing community. Full context sword fighting. Like they're outrageous. See, that sounds cooler than pretending to cast spells in a local park after you get caught.

And by the way, I've seen what Kyle's showing, or about to show. It turns out the punching and the shield hitting is the really ruthless thing. The swords don't do much. Yeah, they're all in plate armor. I think we've watched something about this. I feel like if I had two hockey goalie blockers and no sword i might be even better than a blocker in his sword and in

full goalie rig there's some sort of like drum music or something so maybe you should mute it. Okay. It's like... Everything. Jesus. I'm queued at zero. Ready? I'm ready. I think I went too fast. Richard, are you ready? I'm ready. Ready, set, play. I already didn't mute it.

Oh, dent in the fucking helmet. Oh, yeah. The dent is awesome. But it didn't do much. This is my new helm. Just wait. Just wait. Okay. I'm cooking here.

I'm feeling wrong. Ooh. Ooh. I want to watch a little more. Tell me if you think the swords or the shields are the bigger weapon. The shield. Yeah. Because they're so close.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. This looks exhausting. Dude, fighting is so tiring. Where is this taking place? One of those Nordic countries. Scotland? I don't know. Looking at the rolling field.

Now it's time for some fucking medieval grounded pound. Oh, shut up. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh! He's just shield-pummeling this guy. Oh, my God. Where's the ref? That ref.

He's dead. He is dead. We have a victim. Oh, my. At least with MMA, you can see a guy's eyes roll back in their head or see him go limp. You've got all that chain mail on and stuff. It's like, how do you know when they're out?

The ref's job is a little tougher. Keep watching. This guy's bloodied from that single shield punch he took. Wow. And he's the winner. This guy's not getting up for the... At the end of the video, he's still going to be down.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to participate in this sport. No! It's not fucking LARPing. It's scary combat with swords and shields. There's just some random guy with a yarmulke popping in at the end. What the hell is that? They killed him at the end. That's why they cut the camera off.

I can't get away from the idea that people are LARPing, right? Some guys are over there, you know, Drake, lightning strike, lightning strike, lightning strike. But Bjorn and Maxim, they get too violent. You're going to do your own thing over there. I feel like that's the genesis of this. That would be a great Saturday Night Live bit or something where the LARPer accidentally ends up at this point.

Oh, snap. Or vice versa. bit or something where like the LARPer accidentally ends up at this place. Or vice versa. Like one of these guys fucking ends up at the LARP place and just hits the guy in the head, but the guy doesn't have an actual helmet and he just caves his skull in. Good luck approaching me after I've cast my web of holding. The guy doesn't give a fuck about fake fireballs. No, you hadouken this guy. Hadouken, that's it.

I think I might have done the eagle punch. And you also take five fire damage from my teeth. That is a great idea for a sketch. I'm here for the competition. My name is Azura Agnar the Fantastic. I'm a level 37 paladin.

I enter with nothing but my quarterstaff and my mind. Sir, do you understand what is happening there? You know, I will just tell you this. You are the only wizard. I was going wild. Fucking overweight goober. He's like, now, did you also notice

that this is an Icelandic competition and the shortest person here other than you is six foot seven? I noticed you brought Doritos. See, these fellas were carbo-loading. Have you seen

how much Bjorn over there can lift? I'm happy to take your entry fee, but frankly, this will kill you. We'll see about that. Fucking arm chopped off. He starts asking about the respawn points. Yeah, those guys aren't fucking around. So I have three videos for you to choose from. We can sparse these out throughout the show.

Here are the videos that I've collected throughout the week that I found quite interesting. I have one of the most hardcore Russian men I've ever seen laying a beating down. He is outnumbered and it does not matter. Car camera? Is it new? I feel like I've seen a couple

Russian videos. I have an Indian police officer dealing with fighting the coronavirus. I'll just leave it that way. He's beating the shit out of the coronavirus. And I have a very angry black lady who is

destroying a bus with some sort of implement and then running people down. A bus? What were you thinking? I was going Corona. That was the one that excited me. We all had different ones. We could save the bus one.

I just picked bus because that sounded the most intense. I'll tell you what. I'm going to be the tiebreaker. I want to see the Russian man. Let's watch the Russian man. Why ask if you're not going to listen? I i think actually he didn't break a tie as much as it's a four-way tie now yeah wait yes oh this has music too but for the rest of us it'll be very enjoyable uh yeah is audio needed on this or no no I don't think it's actual in onboard audio. It's just a song to like spice it up and make it more fun for us.

Okay. Looking at the screenshot, I'm going to guess this short haired Aryan looking guy is going to absolutely tear apart. These three is my guess. I'm looking at this one V three and thinking that that one might be the favorite in this. That guy in the hat,

the classic hands in pockets all the way pre-fight pose? This is just like Doom. I'm not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with me. I wish I knew that. But the other three guys, I'm glad that we're paused at zero.

The other three do seem to think that they have the advantage. Oh yeah. This is a consensual fight all right are you ready oh yeah ready set play is it really real that's what you do well look at him fucking throw down look he is he is handling this very well sped up this is look at the elevator door yeah for sure yeah you can see the guy in the green moving sped up oh and the kick at the end yeah that is sped up i would be interested in watching that at normal speed

well oh man the that poor guy and the girl they just want to get on the elevator they show up and they're like oh shit, shit. I'm telling you, this country has gone to shit. They're just standing up there. I'd love to know the backstory on this. Well. Oh, all of you froze for me. There, you're back. Except Kyle.

No, it's not. Yeah. Oh, yeah, everybody dropped it for me for a sec yeah okay yeah me too it must be it was the corona yeah i gotta beat the out of it even our internet i felt like his like another doom reference because it's all been doing for the last two days you got to be able to handle like eight enemies at once and know who's the the threat and how to like all right slow this guy down kill this guy real fast all right and and i can ignore this guy and that's what he's doing he's just like that that that that that that that kick kick kick that that that that that he beat the shit out of them yes yeah yeah and i like that it was like he had their health

bar 30 down and he's like, nope, we're taking this down so that I know you're not coming back. Yeah, you look like you need another kick in the head. I love public freak out videos on Reddit. It might be my favorite subreddit. You get good, wholesome beatings over there. Yeah, him walking out and then turning back around so he had the open back was like such a clutch move yeah yes yeah that he didn't fight

yeah it's like he had a little more space than it looked like it and he had all the room to engage and disengage wise everyone else was trapped yeah he was holding them at the hot gates it wasn't like captain america where he just chooses to fight them in the elevator he's like i got a better idea i know how to handle this this is not my first elevator amateurs oh dude there was a khabib tony help me with his last name i've got ferguson yeah yeah they were in our fer our Ferguson was talking about street fights and could be like put a halt. He's like, wait, what? What street?

You're American. What street fights have you been in? Tell me about your street fights. America doesn't have. I'm from Dagestan. We street fight all the time. And Tony, he was stuck. He didn't have any street fights to name.

What was he going to say? Like, oh, you don't understand. Sixth grade was kind of rough for me. They met me by the tire swing. No. Yeah, shut up, you furry-headed retard, is what he should have said, right? That's why a lot of people like Masvidal.

Fuck Masvidal, man. Oh, Jesus. It started a fire a lot of people like masvidal mas fuck masvidal man oh jesus i didn't start it a fire huh yeah don't get me started on that dude that guy is the biggest fucking poser in mma uh by the way please don't come here he'd kick my ass but uh he was all about no trash talk for a decade for a decade talking, you know, everyone should just shut up and fight, etc. Now he's the biggest smack talker in all of MMA. You know what he's not doing? Fighting. He won a made-up title against Nate Diaz.

Badass, but what is he, like 20 and 12? Something like that. Nate Diaz loses all the time. Suddenly, he's acting like he's a champion. Who did he beat? He beat Darren Till, which is a pretty solid win. Who knows? He beat Ben Askren, which is a big question mark.

And it was a five-second fight. That was super quick. Yeah. Look, it's a win. It's great. But somehow, I don't know what to make of that. Because that guy didn't have many UFC fights. And it was a five-second fight.

And then he beat Nate Diaz, who loses all the time. I think he's lost two out of his last three. You can say the same, too, about Conor McGregor and Jose Aldo and the last fight. Yeah, Woody doesn't like any of the fighters that are entertaining. Cowboy.

Cowboy loses. He prefers if his fighters are very honorable, speak little to no English and don't care for women's rights that's his preferred fact he's talking about Khabib I don't think anybody I don't think anybody goes against

Khabib saying that his background is like the I'll cut you that his background is like the oh go ahead i don't like i don't cut you off but his background is what he's just like he's got the most hardcore background out of any fighter out there right now like i mean that's pretty cool is it crow cop that was special forces uh yes or something yeah yeah i think crow cops got a more badass background because i've watched so many videos i love when he's having that stare down. Is it Vanderlei Silva, the axe murderer,

when they have that stare down? For your benefit, Taylor, there's a man known as the axe murderer in mixed martial arts. He's hideous, and he's trying to mean mug Crow Cop at the stare down. His mean mug was the best in history. Do you want to find it?

And Crow Cop's just like, I've killed many men. Many men. This is more of like what you say in America, like side hustle. Exactly. He's like, this is a fight? There's a referee?

Do you know how many Afghanis I slaughtered in the 80s? This is my version of gig economy. And you can see the moment where Vanderlei realizes that like, oh shit, there's nothing behind those beady Russian eyes that this guy has. I found it. I found it. He's been shot at. I want to watch this.

He's been shot. I hope it's the right clip. It starts 14 seconds in. Yeah, I'm 14. I love this clip. Mirko looks like a tall dude. He is. Are you guys ready yeah ready set play silver was the top of the game at this point and he is he's stared out he always does

this he also does this thing with his hands bro cop mirko yeah something about that doesn't really give a shit at all r Russian Eastern European guys who just like stoic. It's cool. He's picking which side of the head he's going to kick him on right now. Look at his eyes. They're following him. It's pride. Which is the scariest place to do combat.

Why? Because they allow a lot of head kicks while you're on the ground. I mean, if you're're bob sap apparently you can fucking pile drive a motherfucker that they'll let you do a lot of things there they have freak fights and pride they used to it's not a thing anymore they it's not a thing anymore is it no i don't think so yeah i don't think so right they would have freak fights where they would have giants fight people like like in the ufc there's weight classes right so if conor mcgregor weighs 155 pounds the other guy does too in pride they bob sap would show up weighing 375 pounds not exaggerating i

know his opponent would show up 225 and he's just like all right i guess this is what i this is it this is it let's go there's the nfl didn't pan out, so this is what I got. Roy Nelson versus Mighty Mouse. Boyce Gracie weighed about 165 pounds. Very skilled jiu-jitsu practitioner. And he went up against a sumo wrestler. He was literally like 250 pounds

heavier than he was, and he won. Yeah. I saw that one. Is that where the sumo wrestler, by the end, is just so tired that he's laying on his stomach and the other guys just like pounding him in the head he um he almost couldn't tell why he won uh the sumo wrestler was on top he had what seemed like a dominant position and hoist gracie was working a wrist lock and he just bent it bent it bent it until the sumo wrestler tapped out if i recall yeah and if you don't do jits,

then you don't know what's about to break you in half and what's just a pain thing. It's like, oh, that's a discomfort thing he's doing to you. Oh, that hurts real bad. You don't know there's anything that, and oh, that'll rip your shoulder out. Oh, you'll never walk again. Tap. Japan leads the world in fun exhibition fighting matches why can't we do things like that don't they have a video of them like literally putting a sumo wrestler in there

and then like five midgets you know how to fight just just to do it like that's i've seen that porno i don't think the nevada athletic commission would approve i don't know i this is either something that happened or a funny dream I had. One of those things. I'm going to help. I'm going to say midgets versus sumo. Dude, the NBA and the NHL are so desperate for content that they're simulating games in

their video games and saying like, hey, watch the Cavaliers play the Heat simulated. Do the Twirliers play the Heat. Simulated. They had the sign twirling World Championships on the other day. This is twirling? I want them to. No, these guys who stand on the sidewalk and twirl the big pointy sign

and, like, direct you to, fuck, a LensCrafters. Oh, my God. It's only been a week of this, and they're running out of ideas. How cool. Two weeks, I guess. Taylor, it would be fun to watch the Oilers play like, I don't know, I don't care, the Flyers, but have the players play themselves in the video

game, I think that'd be neat to see. That would be cool, but it would be terrible. I thought they were doing that with NASCAR. I saw that on Twitter or something where all the guys were in simulators or something. I don't think they actually were, but I was like, oh, that would be cool if they

really did that. They had a weekly race where they're doing NASCAR simulators and these dudes are doing like 500 blasters. I'd rather simply GTA or something violent. I don't know. I'm glad that it's bad for ESPN. I don't care about ESPN.

I just want to have a chance to watch. I don't like ESPN. I don't like them. I hate them. I don't like the coverage. I don't like them. I hate them. I don't like their coverage. I feel like that it's more about drama than it is about sports so often. It's kind of disgusting. Also, super unpopular opinion,

I'm aware. I just don't care for most of the major sports. I don't get enjoying watching basketball. I don't fucking get it. Kyle's a diehard Golden State college ball i like college basketball march madness is always fun i always get in a bracket i watch it i enjoy it uh i'm usually a duke fan ever since jj reddick when i was in high school we were always going against the stream on that one okay okay i mean he was the great white oak right you? But I can't stand NBA basketball. I just can't get into it at all.

And obviously Atlanta teams just are perennial heartbreaks pretty much. You guys are due for a renaissance. We're due for a championship. Oh my fucking God. Between the Braves and the Falcons. I have a JJ Redick thing. Did you know JJ Redick has a podcast?

No. So I watched it. And he had zion williamson on their teammates now zion williamson is the hot new thing in the nba best rookie probably and uh they went to the same school duke but years you know like a decade apart and uh zion's like you know what coach k still uses you as an inspiration. He says, look, if JJ Redick, like an unathletic 6'4 white guy, can make it in the NBA, then really any of you can. JJ's like, I like to think I have a little more going on than that. He just had such a great outside shooter. It was fun because that's the sort of thing that i can admire from a skill standpoint there's something about just like sprinting into the key and just

shoulder bumping somebody and walking the last eight steps with the ball clutched in your hand like it's a football it's just like i don't even i don't think that's the game you think it is anymore it i don't like the rules change game you think it is anymore. I don't like that. The rules change. So I've been watching basketball for the last couple of years, and I still don't get it. I don't understand where traveling starts. You'll have to take one step in your layup, right?

But then it's like, well, that one wasn't the step, and that was only a half step, and that's a jump. And it's like, man, it seemed like three steps to me. He covered 15 yards. It seems like it turned into football right there at the end. Am I crazy? Is it just me?

No, no. It's the way they play the sport. There's more. If you watch the old footage, like people from the 50s, they look unathletic, like they're dribbling it like they're in eighth grade or something.

That was the rules. If you touch the side of the ball, that was a carry. Now, that's like part of the game you know these guys are doing all sorts of palmy type stuff if you gripped it like that's why they played like that it wasn't because there were no athletes back 40 years ago or 50 years ago it was because they would call them from traveling if they did anything but push down on the top of the ball yeah i have very strong feelings about most of the major sports first of all football

needs to lose the helmets and the pads. Lose it completely. Golfing needs to add them. Right? Get in there. A little contact. Golfing needs to add some sort of nonsense to it, I think. Arm wrestling.

I would like one out of 30 drives to be an exploding ball. Oh, Tiger, very unfortunate. First time this weekend, actually, he's got struck with the exploding ball. That's a bit of shrapnel on the slide there. We're going to see how that affects him on the 17th. Maybe like a couple of, not punji pits, but like a punji pit. And in the bottom, there's like some foam or something like, oh, Mickelson is down. Oh, and Mickelson now impaled

with bamboo covered in the groundskeeper's shit this is probably the worst thing he can do and by the rules you have to play it where it lies just punch you bit that is a tough chipping angle golf is irredeemable. That is a tough chipping angle. Golf is irredeemable. It's never going to be a fun spectator sport. It's fun to play, terrible to watch, but I think football needs to lose the pads and the helmets because I think people would stop playing like assholes because right now they've got that armor on their head

and they're just ramming into each other. The same reason that boxing gives more CTE than MMA applies to it. It's just a head, right? Well, no, it's because they've got these big one-pound cushions on their hands, and they're just toot-toot, toot-toot, toot-toot, toot-toot. I would think because it's like, whereas MMA, you're getting your leg twisted, you're getting your leg kicked, you're getting your wrist squeezed,

but everything is here in boxing. There's essentially one way to lose boxing. I mean, there's body shots that put people down but you don't see all that all that much right there's not so many all that many liver shots where it's like oh a liver shot it's fight over it's it's mostly people getting hit in the head till they get a 10 count then getting hit in the head until they get a 10 count and then then it's the fight i've been watching more boxing lately i feel like a big part of it is the 10 count part, eight count really. But yeah, is the way that a boxer can get knocked down and then he's expected to get up again. And one of the biggest like social fouls in boxing is to quit. You know, you need to get carried out on your

shield in that sport. So there's no tapping. There's no, you have the best of me. In MMA, sometimes people get rear naked chokedoked it's a painless way to lose and they know that this isn't going to be their night and they it just goes down in boxing that cannot be so they get knocked down if they can stand they must stand otherwise they'll never have a fan again and that just whereas in mma like you know if you get the best of me for just one part of the fight, it finishes. It's over. In boxing, they're like, all right, let's do some more.

What do you stand up? And again, pummel him. Again, pummel him. And I'm out there with no offense and no defense. We've had one knockout, yes. But what about second knockout? Yeah, yeah. I think it's the whole give him a break and let them try again aspect that leads to that damage. Yeah, absolutely.

There's tons of components of boxing that lead to more brain damage than other combat sports. Kyle, I want to know the rest of your ideas. Sports changes. Sports. Yeah, NBA basketball should be four versus four. Should be four versus four, and they should raise the rim another foot. Oh, jeez. Yeah, I mean, these guys don't look like it's that hard to dunk,

so that would be good. And I think anything – I think there should be a – I think that field goals should still be two points, but dunks and layups should be one. It should be one point. Would raising the rim a foot help small guys or big guys? It sounds stupid at first right obviously the biggest do well but it might become more of a shooter's game it might be that not every tom dick and

that's what i'm trying to accomplish by by these rule changes is to open the field up allow for more lanes of for passing with 4v4 because i think the original game was a bunch of fucking hoosiers white dudes smaller than us that that were out there, quite unathletic, shooting into a goddamn peach basket. Now these guys are behemoths, right? Oh, you're only 6'6"? I don't know. Was that MTV that did that? With the extra basket above that was more points?

MTV had like a different basket. i don't know anything about that that sounds cool it's like a like 20 points there's like a 50 point basket or something i'm making it up but there were like different tiers of points for okay it's like way up there it's like a half court shot up yeah i like your idea kyle i'd watch a basketball game if it was if they made it a little taller and only four people you know make them more make them sprint a little more i think there would be more defense played and i think there'd be more outside shooting and i think that's a more entertaining game but maybe i'm in the minority i mean you know i think we're lower to fight lord they don't knock their teeth out on the rim i

don't know we used to my dad and i used to uh watch these guys do this like um these bird dog trials which we thought was a pretty cruel fucking bullshit sport where they take these quail and uh they they have the quail in a big cage and they take them and like put them in a towel and they sort of like do this spin move to like make them real dizzy and then they hide them like easter eggs in the field and then you get your pointer dog and you go out there he points them and then uh makes them fly and then you shoot them and you're and you're you're uh the you're you're um you're judged on the speed that you clear the course accuracy and a few other things and we're just like this bullshit he had to kick the bird to make it fucking fly. Like the bird was all fucked up already.

That's when I originally thought punji pits needed to be in a sport. I was like, we need a punji pit full of weasels out there for that son of a bitch to fall in. Full of weasels. Yeah, angry weasels in there. Yeah, a lot of the sports just don't entertain people. Oh, and he's fallen into the weasel pit, Tom.

That's not good. Those are rabid weasels, I'm told. Yes, they are hungry. I would... Oh, baseball. Baseball. How do you fix baseball? Baseball?

Aluminum fucking bats. Hell yeah. Aluminum fucking bats. And no gloves. No gloves. We'll keep the gloves. We'll keep the gloves, but now everybody wears a helmet the whole infield is gonna want one of those helmets with the shield on it right

when you get you a a major league ball player can hit a ball so goddamn hard with an aluminum bat it would it would be insanity do you think how many players would break current home run records? All of them. Not all of them, of course. Some are pitchers. I feel like any big hitter would. Any big hitter is going to break the home run record. Who's that really good guy? Barry Bonds. I don't remember.

Babe Roof? No, the really good guy right now. Kirby Puckett. Ty Cobb! Right now? Dave Justice. Anyone fromb. Right now. Dave Justice. Anyone from the late 90s. Javier Lopez. Sosa.

Pujols. I don't watch fucking baseball anymore. If we haven't won a fucking... So far, Kyle, 100% on board with your football prescription and basketball. And baseball so far is frankly my favorite. Lay that aluminum bat down. Also, extra outfielder and the fields go back

about 50 more feet. Yes, and they can use chewing tobacco again because that's cool. Oh, for sure. Should there be a water hazard in there? Water hazard? On the warning track, I would be okay with that. Instead of a warning track, a moat. I had to process that. That's a genius idea.

Oh, he's in the moat. Careful about Chicago. They have an alligator. If they run past first and fall into, they're out. This is why it's so rough playing in Minnesota. Running the bases would be like the steeplechase. They've got some hurdles with water hazards on the other side. The Toronto Blue Jays are the only people who play in wetsuits.

I want it to be kind of like Wacky Races, where it's like, oh, and the Braves have deployed their oil slick. Looks like Thompson's not making it to third. And it's just right there. NASCAR is like Mario Kart. Oh, and the third baseman utilizes his bag of marbles. oh and the third baseman utilizes his bag of marbles yeah how are you fixing hockey i think hockey's pretty good as a spectator sport being there at the game i love hockey i i've only been three or four times loved it every fucking time the environment the atmosphere the fans take off theates, make them play barefoot.

Something about the kind of guy who goes to a hockey game. I like that guy. You know? Something about him. I don't know what it is. It's just something about the people who go to hockey games. I like the quality about them. They're a better kind of people, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

I just picked up on what he said. Hockey has superior fans. They are the master fans. They are the master fans. I instantly knew where he was going. I was thinking for hockey, get rid of the skates and get rid of the commentators and just play the Benny Hill thing on replay.

Everybody falling and slipping on them. You gotta include Zamboni. Or if they had ice cleats, maybe. What if they added three-dimensional play? Maybe there's ice walls around the side and you had to... I don't know. I don't know how to improve hockey at all, really. I just don't know enough about the game i think hockey's fucking cool taylor um if hockey

comes back and plays this summer could taraschenko maybe be healthy enough to join oh yeah he's healthy enough now like now he hit the absolute worst timing we were 10 games into the season he was a point per game player playing great out for the season with his shoulder. And then leading up to the coronavirus quarantine, it was like Tarasenko's coming back. He's for Richard's benefit. He's the Blues best goal scorer, you know, missed him all season. And everybody was saying he's ready to come back. He's ready to come back. It was confirmed that he was good to go.

And then like two days later, it's like the NHL suspended operations. This could be very good timing for you guys. If it happens. And if not, it just means the Blues are the Stanley Cup reigning champions an extra year. That's okay. They should totally celebrate that. The Blues once again.

Raising a second banner to troll the rest of the Blues. That would be so fucking funny. That would be great. Yeah, they would get fined or whatever, but who cares? That's funny. God, I hope sports comes back but this this is not going to be over for way longer than i think most people are anticipating like yeah i think it's like trump saying his shit like we're going to get the economy rolling next week everybody's going to be back in their in their little comfy office cubicles and seats we We rip on Biden and his dumbassery.

And Trump is like, I think that everyone should be in churches. Imagine that. Easter's a special day to me. Pack the churches with people. It's a beautiful date. And they're like, why would you have anyone go back? You think that the virus will pass? He said, I just think it's a beautiful date. It's beautiful.

It will be beautiful. That date is everything he says is about making the stock market better and not about protecting the trump is not the bar that we use to judge our candidates they're going against each other yeah and biden isn't half as funny i know but when you choose your democratic candidate you can't be like well i mean it's right as long as we can get above the Trump bar. We're fine. This guy's good, right?

He's here at, you know, mostly there most of the time. That's good enough, right? No. I'm with you. I think they should both get Corona and Buttigieg should make his comeback. Boo. Boo to that guy. Go back to South Bend.

Here's the only problem. They're going to find a cure for Corona. AIDS is a long way down the road, Woody. I mean, Magic Johnson disagrees. That's just mean-spirited is all that is. Hey, he's a monogamous gay man. A nice unicorn.

Yeah, we'll see what happens. I'm just so interested in this corona shit like it it's growing so quickly how do we know and because like i'm just going to buy our testing they got a lot of tests in california they finally started testing a ton in the last few days okay even i like when i do have to drive to the store or drive out and do something like i i see test kits like little stations everywhere like there's i've driven by like probably a dozen of them usually not too busy and apparently uh so you know how trump was saying like and this test no or no we

talked about this it's the best yeah the test that you have to jam it up your nose yep like past a barrier yep so i just can imagine all the old people. Is it a barrier? Yeah, like it has to go past some sort of sphincter. That's not the right word. Yeah, the nasal cloaca. It's called a... It has to go through the nasal cloaca. It's your nasal hymen, I think. Yeah, and mine's never been popped, and so

I'm afraid. Mine has been ravaged. Sorry about that. I just feel like there's got to be somebody who pulled up to that. It's this long, but look at the pencil. That's what it's like. Look at Anteater's tongue. I want to know everybody's prediction for, and it's obviously any kind of death toll predictions are going to be based on the numbers they have, which are going to be way under the reality of it.

Yeah. So what do you guys think? Let's say, let's say one month from now, April 26th, what will the U S death total be right now? We're at, I don't know.

It's impossible to say. I know. That's why it's easy to say it's impossible to get right. Oh yeah. Good point. Good point. We're not about to speculate for me. It's impossible to get right. Good point. We're not about getting right. Too ignorant to speculate for me. I don't know.

Richard, you're not new on this show. There's no such thing as too ignorant. You should know better. 20 million. Now you're talking. Yeah, now he's talking. I'm going to hold on no calculators

I'm going to say 25,000 deaths a month from now I'm going with 2,996 2,996 deaths that's equal to 9-11 well I mean we're already at 1,290 and this is a month from now so I think That's equal to 9-11. Well, I mean, we're already at 1,290, and this is a month from

now, so I think it's going to be a little more than that. Jesus Christ. And it's raising exponentially. Of that 1,290, 270 happens today. I have faith in our administration to under-report. I do not. You know what the biggest eye-opening thing for this is? It's like, hey, we've got to bring a lot of manufacturing

back to the us we can't have a little virus happen and then suddenly like well you know that country that we harp on all the time well they make all of our medicine and they're prioritizing their own needs as they should as a country you know like yeah we need to bring all that back here we can't have a medical emergency and not have the capacity to manufacture what we need that's insane imagine it was real war time right right? Yeah, we'd be fucked. Yeah, what manufacturing do we have if we needed... I mean, that's

the story of World War II, right? Right. Well, that's the... Except we had manufacturing. Yeah, we had the best manufacturing. The best manufacturing. Well, maybe second best. Germany was pretty good. Wait, are we on different sides of this, Kyle? Oh, yeah. Completely different sides. We were way behind. We were way, way behind.

Like they tooled up and everybody went to work. And they- Yeah, we caught up quickly though. No, okay, so my impression of it, and I'm not a World War II historian, so maybe you'll correct me. I am. I am.

Cool. Then maybe I'll be corrected. Was that there was a lot of manufacturing in America that we were able to easily convert into a war machine. So automobile manufacturers started making planes and tanks and things like that. Now, we cannot easily convert our services industry into building things that commit war. You're telling me that Deborah at Starbucks can't make tank shells?

I'm saying that you can't convert a Starbucks into a tank shell manufacturing in the same way. Is that armor-pier piercing sabot for Marcus? A little fat blended. Yeah, yeah. So before we had manufacturing, we had steel, we had automobile manufacturing, we had all these manufacturing

jobs, skills, and facilities that were similar to the kinds of things you'd need to come to wage war now We don't now we have I don't know IT. Yeah, there were a lot of things we built from the ground up You know the the uranium refinement facility in Tennessee and out at Los Alamos, you know that those things were just from the ground up enormous colossal facilities that they just America went to work Everybody did.

You see those old... Was it Rosie the Riveter? That was a real thing. Everybody went to fucking work and really pulled together and got shit done. I think that's a human thing, not necessarily just an American thing, but we're just a great example of it.

Well, we need to bring that manufacturing back here now before the next one of these worst things happens. Yeah, I'm sure we'll be able to compete on a global scale with all the benefits. Who cares if we have to pay more for our goods? It's better than having to fucking rely on other countries. Like, if this shit were five times worse,

you think we'd be getting supplies from any other country, any sort of aid? Of course not. Like, we don't want to be up shit creek the next time one of these things inevitably happens or a worse one inevitably happens. You know, like we need to be manufacturing these essentials here in the US. So we have our bases covered, which is simple essential specifically, though.

Are you referring to the specifically things from anything medically related? You know, respirators, ventilators, masks, the overwhelming majority of prescription pills, things like that. Like those need to be made here. I feel like any good business, much like we were talking about earlier, when it comes to their cashflow, the supply chain needs to have contingencies too. So you have to take into account your shareholders and everything. So you got to have a way to keep your profits up. And for unfortunately, a lot of companies, that's 100% of their supply chain coming from foreign countries and then bringing it here to the States and putting their label on it and being

like, okay, here we go. That's the greatest way for profit. But as soon as that gets interrupted, be it from a global pandemic, or it could be some type of tariff or trade war, you have to have contingency. So that's why I like buy American made, you know, 100% American made might be too expensive for a lot of people. So it's like, what are these formulas that companies need to figure out where it's like you can have a profitable business,

but it also is either recession proof or supply chain disruption proof and have contingencies and stuff. I just think that's one of the things we're finding out is you're you're catching a lot of businesses offsides either with poor financial planning or poor strategic um and supply chain or reserves it's weird to me that the benefits of being local right like there are costs associated with working in two different times wildly different time zones like america and china there are costs associated with working in two different times, wildly different time zones, like America and China.

There are costs associated with taking that stuff, putting it on a boat or an airplane or whatever, and shipping it over to America, flying or sailing it here. There's savings to be associated with the manpower, but isn't this stuff automated? Why is it that the improvements and efficiencies can't be offset by higher labor costs when it's really robots making this stuff i don't think it is robots a lot of the times i think a lot of our goods are still being fucking hammered together by by chinese peasants in the i had prescription pills in my head when i said that are they really okay well that's a good example of probably uh taxes right it's some some sort of tax situation i'm not sure yeah i I don't know. I would have to imagine that. Why wouldn't we just have...

I've seen those machines. They're incredibly automated. It's like watching how it's made and watching Twinkies come off the assembly line. There's nobody in there fucking squeezing and filling in them. It's... Again, I'm ignorant on it, but I would speculate that in the US, there would be really strict, stringent rules and sanitation on a facility that manufactures something that would be pharmaceutical grade.

Whereas there, they may just test the stuff for purity when it comes into the States. And if it meets a certain standard, then there you go. We don't care what your facility is like. That's where i want like safety like anything we're putting into our bodies like like i don't mind frankly if there's some children in a foreign country who lose a finger every other day because and it gets me my like like tools and stuff a little bit faster right like like you know like he didn't need all those fingers anyway you got 10 all right it only takes two or three to you need need one to push a button. He's good. Well, that goes to the MMA stuff.

I thought it was nose at the end. A lot of people don't like... Mr. Kyle, I am so very short on fingers. Get back in there. So you got a lot of these supplement companies. I don't know anyone's particular, but you got a lot of athletes that they test hot for some type of substance,

and it's because they were made in these vats that they're literally manufacturing hundreds and hundreds of different types. Yeah, absolutely. It gives good, honest fighters like Jon Jones a bad time. I can't tell where the truth starts in the wiser. The man's got no protein powder, all right? He wants to supplement his diet with a little more thiamine, a little more protein. They've proven it, though. They've proven it, though.

They've taken lot numbers of certain supplements. I understand this poor guy was busted for DWI. But the truth is his protein power was made in a vat where there was alcohol powder. And now there's trace amounts of alcohol in his milkshake. And that's why he's under DUI. DWI. Okay. Driving while intoxicated.

The Albuquerque Police Department is racist. You know what I'm saying. All right. We all know this. Yeah. I'm just talking about the purity. And the firearm sounds that the policeman heard and the bullet casings in the guy's feet. It could have been anyone that put that shit there.

Look, the rest of the world is fucking quarantined. I'm sure any number of us have bullet casings in our floorboards. Yeah, actually, who am I talking to? I still find them. It's just like up in the dashes of vehicles, you know, from like shooting out the windows of cars. And they go up between the windshield and the dash. And they get way down in there, way in there. How do you get in trouble during a quarantine?

You should be at home playing video games. Jon Jones, follow my lead. You know, he was probably out donating to a food bank. Are you out of date on this one? I do not know. He got a DUI to a food bank. Are you out of date on this one? I do not know. He got a DUI last night. He was drunk in his car, drinking Jorge Masvidal's

liquor. Cops respond to a gunshot. They find him in his vehicle sitting there. They're like, sir, have you been drinking? He's like, I have been, and I plan to continue to. They arrest him. They find his handgun under his seat,

spent casing in the floorboard. Now he's up on, he doesn't, he didn't have proof of his insurance, driving while intoxicated and reckless use of a firearm. Yeah. Officers noted signs of intoxication and police say Jones admitted to officers that he had been driving earlier and intends to drive some more.

Jesus. But I love that he had Jorge Masvidal'sends to drive some more. Jesus. But I love that he had Jorge Masvidal's bottle, like his brand of liquor. Is that? I didn't catch that detail. They give the name brand of the liquor in there.

That's Jorge Masvidal's shit. That'd be like having proper 12. Right. He's charged with DWI, negligent use of a firearm in possession of an open container This is the kind of fucking champion I love Alright god damn it

I'm not looking for some fucking choir boy Certainly not some live at home With my daddy Woman hating possible terrorist Kyle Stop putting down woman haters alright Stop mixing in the good with the bad I want a bad motherfucker I want a bad

motherfucker like this who rides around drinking with guns, hitting pregnant bitches on cocaine with weed pipes in his car. Man, this guy aren't that too far apart, alright? I bet he and I could have a goddamn good time. I want somebody who slaps fucking strippers' asses. I want somebody

who rides around fucking getting in fights at press conferences doing a little steroids because who doesn't if they come to test you, you hide under the fucking cage. What, he's a pussy for hiding under the cage? No, he's smart. He's a fucking three or four time champion. I think the trace of Manson.

Man's never lost a mixed martial arts fight despite all the drug use, alcohol, the late night partying, the cocaine, the whores, the hook use alcohol the late night partying the cocaine the whores the arrests never lost a fight matt hamill wrecked that guy's elbows with his nose until the ref pulled him apart that's kind of fucking champion that's the people's champion the real people i agree but the one thing that just like just sits wrong with me like i love watching him fight like every single one of his fights is just like have you watched his last three fights he lost them all

and his ineffective striking and loss of ground game carry on please i well yeah but i i mean like in the past but like embrace it like don't give me that that bullshit at the end of the fight about jesus and you've changed your life and everything else. Like, no embrace the bad guy angle. When will God stop testing poor John Jones? Be like, be like,

that's what I did. I did a bump. I did a bump of fucking cocaine before the fight. So what? I like to party. I wish he'd get up to him. He'd be like, you know what?

I had a whole speech, but I'm high shit right now. I like the way Kyleael Sonnen did it. Chael tells the story great, but they're like, they said I tested with twice the levels of testosterone as a normal man. I told them, run that test again.

It's too damn low. Chael Sonnen's so good. I watched his 20-minute montage of his best trash talk the other day. I love it. I watched this 20 minute montage of his best trash talk the other day I love it I love that Joe Rogan one

where he's like tonight's about you Joe Rogan I like the Joe Rogan one where he's like Joe Rogan give me that microphone I just got beat I just got done beating up a former world champion if you think I won't add a 50 year old comedian to my list, you got another thing coming. So good.

I love jail Sonnen. And, uh, but I wish John Jones were more like that. I wish he embraced being the bad guy. Cause he is the bad guy. He's one of the worst. He's right.

I love him for it. Cause that's what I fucking want. I want a bad guy. I want a villain. All right. Some of the, some of my favorite like entertainment properties are about the villain the bad guy that's what i want i love that shit i don't want some nike money

fucking wear some and ones and get it over with dude let's go let's go and one has money they'll put that shit on a felon. Let's go. I love this guy. Genius Kyle. I love it. First endorsements. I would love it if he dropped Nike and Reebok and went with And One and Hennessy or something. Yeah.

I swear next time I'm called DWI, it will be Hennessy. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. When I drink and drive, I only drink Hennessy. Yeah, absolutely. Lots of that shit. When I drink and drive, I only drink Hennessy. And then he takes over. That's the commercial. It's like that Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercial

where he's just driving the car and he's twiddling his thumb like this and riding around Lincoln. Oh, they're great. They're iconic. You laugh about it. That would sell. Riding it. That would sell. That would sell. It would increase the amount of drinking and driving,

I think, but it would sell. He'd make it look cool. I'm just saying, him as a bad guy, that would sell so much. Yes, yes, yes, yes. John Jones... You know, God's testing him again. He's going to keep testing him.

I wish he'd be like, I'm going to hit you harder than I hit that pregnant bitch. Oh, man. That would rule. I want to live in that timeline. Yeah. She signed an NDA. She's good now.

She's got a paycheck. Yeah. You got a paycheck. Yeah. You got a paycheck to show up, so now I got to hit you with this train. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to hit you harder. You saw I can't catch me. You think you can? Let's go.

Let's go. I need him to be the back. Stop with that preacher's son nonsense john be the bad guy yes i i would love that he is the but even in that mugshot he's just kind of like smile just smile you're not a thug you're not a thug you gotta you gotta think there's brands out there that if he embraced that would pay him way more even if even if it was the ufc giving him a larger take on a purse or something like that i feel like it's selling way more he'd be conor mcgregor but he's an asshole and he can't do anything right yeah

except barely win fights for your split decisions where the crowd disagrees uh he lost his last fight in my opinion i thought he won the santos fight here's the thing about the Santos fight. There's a lot of cliches in mixed martial arts fights that you can fall back on. Like, hey, what if the fight went on for 100 rounds? Then who's going to win? All right. Well, Jon Jones, because the other guy is literally crippled.

All right. The other guy had to be carried away at the end of the fight. And Jon Jones was like, eh, all right, I'm going to go slap some hoes. I think I know where you're headed with that. want to be the champ you got to beat the champ that's the cliche i don't like that one i don't like that one at all i feel like if you outpoint the champ you've beaten the champ and uh and there's been a lot of that recently that has upset me i'm gonna have a hard time drawing examples but um there was a woman's fight recently that upset me a lot um oh it was the the... Was it Jurajek versus Chinese Dick? It was. Jurajek won. Janjajek, I think.

She won, in my opinion. She definitely outpointed Wei Li. I saw it the other way, and Jurajek looked like a horror movie character. I don't care how... I think that was incidental. That was a freak thing that happened to her head. Repeatedly. They kept punching her on the bubble.

Yeah, for sure. I saw that no different than a a cut it's like well yeah he's cut better because one of the ways i measure fights is damage and your jay check looked not even like a she didn't just not look like herself she had about 25 more strikes human inhuman she looked like oh she looked awful yeah but she had 25 more strikes. Pitter-patter baby strikes, right? While that Chinese chick was throwing fucking bombs. Yeah. If you look at who... I gave it to her.

A lot of people give it to her. Hmm. Okay. Well, there's no way to check that. I'm not gonna... A lot of people give it to her for sure. Okay. I don't like Yohana.

I think she's a cunt of a person. You know, like, bow down! Bow down! I bet that's what you sound like when you cum. I bet it's that obnoxious Polish accent. Like, it's so disgusting. Ah! I agree with you, but I think we agree on the next thing, too.

I like watching her fight. I like watching her fight, too. I'm looking forward to Rose coming back and fucking way up because that's what's going to happen. I think Rose will be able to do it with Way too. I'm looking forward to Rose coming back and fucking Wayley up because that's what's going to happen. I think Rose will be able to deal with Wayley. I think Wayley has a training camp without coronavirus and she wrecks that chick's shit.

Nope. Yoana's head was on center the whole time just fucking getting Rose is so fucking in and out, left and right, working angles. Maybe I'm mixed up. I'm talking Rose Namajunas beating Wei Li.

Oh, okay. All right, I didn't keep up. My bad. Yeah, no, I thought you were saying if Wei Li and Jujaychek rematched, it would go differently. Oh, hard to say about that. I think it would go pretty similarly, but you never know with this shit. I mean, look at Rose versus Jujaychek, one and two.

Completely different fights. Same exact fighters. The first one, Rose takes her out in a minute and a half. Second one, we go full five rounds and Rose outpoints her every round. Rose had to... If people don't know Rose Namahim, she's very sweet.

She's nice. She won her first title. I've said this before. In tears, she's like, I just want people to be nice to each other. That's what she used her platform title i've said this before and in tears she's like i just want people to be nice to each other that's what she used her platform for i i like her and uh they were asking her like you know how she won the second fight and she's like yeah i think i'm just better than her and it was like oh damn like coming from her it was and you're like well the score's been posted twice now yeah you're better you that's how i feel about john jones and fucking uh butterball what's his name uh corny it's like score score's been posted bro like like like yeah rack it up again let's do it again

if if cormier had beaten steep a that's the fight that was coming that that's what that's what they had done the heavyweight but jones has an asterisk, right? The one time Jones beat him, he literally tested hot for steroids and they changed it to a no contest. And the other times Jones beat him, everyone knows damn well he was hot for steroids. I disagree

fully. All I know is that he got handled both times. It wasn't even barely close. Cormier had good hands in the second fight. I will say that. His boxing was very impressive. I don't know why he didn't work the wrestling more against him, but

then John did do exactly what he told him he was going to do to him. It was so funny because John was like, I've seen what you do. I'm going to kick you in the head. He's like, yeah, you think I'm going to do that, Coach John? You think I'm going to kick you in the head. And he's like, yeah, you think I'm going to do that, don't you, Josh? You think I'm going to do that thing where you throw the body kick four times in a row and I think you're going to throw the body kick again and I don't cover my head.

You think I'm going to do that, don't you? He's like, yes, that's exactly what I think. And then that's what he did. And he kicked him so goddamn hard in the head. It made a clap. Yeah. Joseph was like, we've been looking at the tape and we see things and cormier is like yeah i know what you're talking about you're talking about me ducking

my head it we've been working on that this training camp it's not going to be there and it was there it was it was there in spades yeah and then the trip after oh it was so nasty yeah uh yeah good shit good shit we should get off ufc probably yeah let me do uh let me do an advertisement yeah piss and then i want to talk tiger king oh yes okay okay great show i want to tell it's the best show on television right now number one in the u.s on netflix this episode of pk is brought to you by a company that we have a lot of personal experience with postmates you know what's great about eating your favorite thing it's your favorite thing and you're eating it you know what's not so great getting it And the only fast things that deliver are

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They are substandard. Postmates, use code PKA. So let me guess. Powerful ad read. Kyle knows better than anyone. We really do have a subject matter expert on hand here with regards to these things. Yeah, the amount he orders is just,

it's just shocking. It's like, because he'll order order that feels like twice a day and then he'll also text us group pics of his meal he makes every evening so it's like you're just eating and eating and eating i mean there's nothing else to do right now i definitely have been bored boredom eating more than usual and i'd already do it a lot anyway but yeah just not even boredom eating just kind of restless eating because i'm still busy i'm still like doing calls working from here doing all the stuff i normally do like staying busy but it's like something about just being home and knowing that i got snacks in the other room it's like well i mean that couldn't the chips couldn't make this worse

i'm quarantined so i deserve it but i'm gonna i'm gonna start uh doing some streaming again you know like in the in the free time that i have now and so that'll be that'll be a good good fun time i've been streaming a lot i've been streaming like 10 hours a day almost but they're the worst i get your notifications yeah oh i didn't know that yeah yeah yeah what is i stream from like 9 p.m to 4 a.m you know peak hours yeah i'm really going for the crowds and uh well it was last week that you know i i texted everyone i was like hey sorry for the late notice can we do pkn either earlier today or can we move it to wednesday i totally forgot i had something i have to do and like i sent that it may be 10 in the morning at 4 30 in the afternoon kyle texts back and is like hey uh yeah me and woody stayed up a little late i really

doubt he's up yet and so let's just do wednesday i was like it's 5 p.m. That you guys were two? Tarkov is ruining me. You're talking about snacking. I'm not snacking because I'm playing video games. Yeah. But when you stay up till, I don't know, sometimes I only stay up till 4, sometimes 6.

There's really time for an extra meal in there, to be honest. There's some sort of, like, last time I ate was 6 p.m. 6 a.m. now. I need, you know, it's time for something. You, like, stand up and you just hear that. Yeah, yeah. So that's not been great. But I am addicted to this game.

I'm loving it. It's a good time to be addicted to a game. That's great. Escape from Tarkov. It's a shooter. It's a good time to be addicted to a game. That's great. Escape from Tarkov. It's a shooter. It's a military, like, realistic sim shooter. And our audience has probably heard too much about it. But I'll say this.

If you die in the game, then you lose all your stuff. You die for real. So it's really punishing if you don't do well and it makes the lows low on the other hand some games i'll kill 13 guys collect all of their loot and just be king of the world i had my best game ever last night there how much you can carry and like you know how much room is in your backpack is very limited but there are cases where like you know like the case might take six slots in your backpack but you open it up and there's like 20 slots in there and say yeah anyway i found a case in game or they found it someone we kill had a case my teammates let me have it and then we filled it up

with everybody's guns and i could barely walk my guy like he was so slow it took like i can't even damage to walk across this room would have taken 30 seconds i weighed over 80 kilograms and uh and then i got out of there i was so rich afterwards so full like my character's strength was higher from the exercise he got walking to the exit and uh the highs are so high the lows are so low the way you die in this game like it was why you usually die in call of duty is like you see a guy he sees you you get into a very short gunfight and you say ah he got the best of me like that that's how call of duty dies in this game nope some guy just headshots you from somewhere you don't know where it comes from you don't know what you did wrong you don's no kill cams. It's challenging to learn from that mistake.

it's like you're on it's like you're in the nicest gun store ever and you have the full range of everything like with the name brands and everything as far as compensators and uh like like adapters and uh rail systems um stocks grips for grips um everything the kind of knowledge you guys have would be useful in this game. There's three different uppers for the AR systems. There are ammo types. There's M855, M855A1, M856A1, M995. And they all have drawbacks. Are they noticeable? Yes, very noticeable.

M856A1 is tracer, so now you've got tracer. But the penetration value is better than with the M855, but the damage isn't as good as in 995 It's it's a lot of give and take, you know, there's multiple calibers Seven six two three nine five four five five five six a couple different AK variants Several shotguns, but like there's like half a dozen different kinds of shotgun rounds from

various buck shots to various sabos and slugs pistols there's ripstop ammo which just shreds your skin if you hit it but if you hit armor it's worthless um you'll see like typically what armor i want and what ammo i want well please tell me where i'm gonna shoot who i'm gonna shoot and how i'm going to get shot and i'll know the. You know, like I could come in there like a tank with a big helmet, but you know, that might not help if you've got the right ammo or, you know, I'd rather have ripstop if you're going to be unarmored, if you're going to be armored, I need something else. And you never know in advance. So you kind of, yeah, it's real cool. I mean, the helmets are all like, you know, military helmets. There's airframes and Fast MT,

Uloks, Vulcans, all sorts of really cool shit. Lots of plate carriers and armored rigs. Like just the backpack selection alone, right? There's drawbacks to backpacks. You bring a big ass bag, you move slower, you turn slower, your ergonomics are lower, you get tired faster, you can't aim down sights as quickly with a big-ass bag. I wear a giant purple backpack.

It makes my teammates not shoot me. No one wears that thing. Everyone is like, dude, you can see you from across the map. That's my point. The most dangerous motherfuckers around here are the people I'm playing with. So I wear a red neoprene face mask and a purple backpack and it prevents

team kills, mostly. And it's not, there are things that are completely unbalanced, like thermal goggles. Oh my god. You're wearing thermal goggles, the other guy, it's night time. You know, I mean, even if he's got really good night vision. It's PC. Yeah. Yeah. But the thermal goggles have a balance, andyle will agree with

this and how expensive they are so if they're the numbers won't mean anything three or four million rubles maybe seven i don't know but the point is if you die you've lost something that was hard to get you know and of course your killer gets it he takes it off your body so you can come in there with an advantage but just know that it's going to cost a ton if you don't win with it yeah it's fun like i usually don't like um people who role play you know like in like an airsoft and paintball and stuff i've had people that are like role playing and i'm just like all right let's let's calm down here all You call me Sergeant again, I'm just going to go fucking home. My name is Kyle.

Let's ease up a little bit, okay boys? But in this, it's like, alright, well, our comms actually do need to be professional comms because nobody wants to die and this is a military simulator. We have to like stack up

before we go into this building the appropriate way or we're all gonna fucking die you gotta know that's really fun you have to be able to concisely tell people what you see and what's going on if i say like richard where was he and you say all right woody so there's a brick building the corner imagine that corner draws a line go out like 60 feet you'll find a sign there bitch i'm dead already like yeah you know call outs are instantaneous and accurate it's it's like where is he south pond south pond greed jump now now he's in greed going for going for akam he's out akam second floor going down to first air filter room Like you've got to be like there's so much that a hundred different call outs that like it's it's a separate language The maps are between like well, one of them's almost call duty size

But the rest I'll call like 12 to 30 cod maps and it's a lot to get your arms around Ballistics are realistic. It's um Like long shots are very difficult. Um, it's uh, there's you know, you it's uh there's you know you got to lead there's uh there's thermal scopes there's a there's a reap ir there's a fleer um lots of like four different kinds of night vision russian night vision american night vision there's an rpg aspect to the game where like the more your character runs he gets in better shape and becomes better at running oh cool the more he carries heavy things he gets better able to do that and throw grenades farther and jump higher um and uh you know the more he shoots a fully auto gun the better he gets at handling that recoil and that aspect of it makes

it so addicting that and building your cash stores like you just want to keep on top of it get higher get higher you know sweet i started this game at 2.6 and now I'm at 2.9. That was a successful game. Yeah. I played the shit out of it for three and a half months and I've been playing Doom this last week, but I've got enough money now, it doesn't matter anymore. Money's a thing of the past.

I'm just turning that corner. I just like killing people now. I just like getting in i just like killing people now i just like getting in like like gunfights with people and oh the ai is frighteningly good like they'll use tactics they'll yell they'll yell they'll talk to each other and tell each other in russian where you are it helps if you speak russian it helps if you speak yeah i'm looking up like what does suka mean they'll do these these bounding cover formations where one guy's holding you down while the other runs

back and flanks around. It's very challenging. I want to play easy AI. Just borderline retarded. You need to play Doom, my friend. You need to play fucking Doom. You are a god. I'm going to read it again. I read it to Woody at the beginning. This is the opening

thing that Doom Eternal, opening quote. When you begin Doom Eternal, this voice comes on. It says, against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them only you. Rip and tear until it is done. And you're just like,'re goddamn right. I will You chose the right motherfucker You chose the right person. I've got a really good at good PC. So it just it looks incredible. It's super high frame rate It's so fast-paced. It's that my

Like someone's trying to watch me the other day and and they're like I'm gonna have a seizure I'm gonna have a seizure you're spinning around so fast and everything's bright and glowing and flashing i can't deal with this it's it's great game great game but um tiger king tiger king tiger king i've now i've seen episode one kyle's finished it yes i finished it other people where are you i've seen episode one and a bit into two but that's all i've seen i think i'm in i think i'm into okay not sure all right so i heard about tiger k i saw it on netflix it looks dumb like like this the like the picture of it or whatever it's retarded i would have never clicked it if you hadn't said never would have clicked it but i heard so many people talking about her bright

burke christ you're talking about it um lots of celebrities and lots of people I know were just like, you got to watch it. You got to watch it. You got to watch it. So we start watching this shit and essentially art. So it's about people who keep tigers.

Tigers. Exotic cats. Big cats. Not just tigers. And there's this group of people across the country one's in myrtle beach one's in bumfuck oklahoma one's in tampa florida and they all have these parks where they have big cats lions and tigers and bears and wolves and everything you can

imagine alligators yeah it's like a zoo they have their own little private zoos and they are all each one is more interesting than the last one of these guys is a gay mullet wearing gun toting polygamist homosexual with about 12 piercings on his face he is the tiger king i like another one he's funny another one and they are not related by the way they know each other like the same way that like richard and i know each other because like we sort of did the same thing and there's like a community of people who did that same thing or do that same thing and we all kind of know each other because we see each other conventions and like whatever like like we're in the same like sphere of influence well there's this other guy in myrtle beach also a polygamist but the straight kind he rides around on an elephant in his neighborhood and he's got like

six bitches and you might think oh i bet this is one of those like mormon deals where like sarah plain and tall sar Sarah short and stocky. No, he's got six hot bitches. All right. And he's got them all dressed up in leopard print and lion makeup. And here's the thing. Yes. He chooses all of their outfits.

And as an extra level of duplicitousness and cultishness, he makes them legally change their names when they show up so she'll be like yeah my name was uh michelle now my name is molly uh or my name is mala like you give them like little like african sand and it was like oh this is like i was watching that last night after kyle's recommendation i was like first of all thumbs up to this guy for running what every man wants to have all a bunch of cool animals. No monkeys downside, but a bunch of cool animals and a bunch of free pussy. And they're all so brainwashed that you don't do whatever you say. They work for 12 hours a day. They work for 12 hours a day.

They get like $200 a week. A hundred, $100 a week, each girl. And but here's the thing at one point he's driving through his compound and he's like that's where Masha lives that's her house and that's where Dasha lives that's her house

he's got each of these ladies in a nice fucking house he's got like $2 million worth of houses just for his ladies and you haven't even described the antagonist yet. The antagonist is Hillary Clinton. She is so unlikable. At least the cool cult guy is funny as shit.

And he's clearly got some kind of mental impasse of sociopathy. His eyes are open way too much every time he speaks. He's enunciating in a way that seems forced seems manufactured the camera he's directing people yeah he the first like little clip they had of him like they were talking and getting to know him and he's like all right all right so you come around the front i'm gonna go inside i'm gonna open it you uh say how are you doing i'm gonna say i'm doing great how are you and then i'll let you in all right and then he just like walks away and they're like alright well I guess that's what we're doing

he's just directing his own reality show the other guy was just as funny where he's like he just had a 19 year old the tall lithe young sexy 19 year old boy show up and he just

convinces him to stay somehow like clearly through manipulation so the tiger king named joe he's already got one husband right this up this guy with meth mouth uh who's who's a stocky fella like good shape muscled up pierced nipples tattoos all over him and he decides time to add another hubby and this 19 year old guy like comes into his little sphere of influence and they make a good point to explain to you dude wears a size 16 shoe dude's hands are enormous all right he's dark he's got this nice tan complexion looks like a mediterranean big hands they go over the hands like twice the feet at least twice the hands at He's got this nice tan complexion. Looks like a Mediterranean.

Big hands. They go over the hands like twice. The feet at least twice. The hands at least three times. They're letting you know this guy's got a hog. All right? And Joe is all about it. And Joe asks him.

He's like, I asked him, you know, just how straight are you? And he said, pretty straight. And I said, let me ask you this. When you watch porn? Yeah, I watch porn yeah i watch porn well when you watch porn do you like to see the guy doing the girl with a little penis or a big one and he said well i like to see it with the big one i said well you ain't that straight that's when i began uh grooming his mind into basically being a receptacle for my penis when I am willing. I don't know who was a receptacle for who. I bet it was getting

tossed around a bit. It's probably irrelevant, but essentially, two polygamists in this show right off the bat. Then we meet the lady who's trying to play the PETA, I'm here for the good of the animals.

Fuck that bitch. Bullshit. Because she's doing the exact same thing they're doing. I hope a tiger kills her. But she's using the angle of, I'm here for the good of the animals. They're just breeding cubs to let people pay to pet them. I charge people to look at animals and i should be the only one who can do that and she's trying to shut everybody else down by getting these like laws

passed against what they do monopoly she wants a monopoly over what she's got she is so evil i don't want to spoil anything let me just go over some of the bins yes please so i haven't seen as much as kyle have i watched the first episode and even i'm a little bit like what makes her the good guy yeah and and she's she pitches herself as the good guy she said and the bad guys are like man fuck animal rights people you know they're shooting into the lake this is what i do to animal rights cacao cacao cacao cacao yeah they put tannerite in a mannequin's crotch took him like four shots to hit the thing a size of a jar of peanut butter from nowhere like i i am an average

shot and i could hit tannerite like it's not hard um anyway yes you know we don't stand for that here in a mouthful of dick anyway they all keep tigers and she's saying they keep tigers the wrong way but i am i missing something he had big no you're not you're not big fields you're cluing in on hypocrisy at its finest and look i'm not going to spoil who is what or what is who or talk about characters who will be introduced. Here are some of the high points of the show, some of the things that I want to – I think you can go into it a little bit. Sorry to interrupt, but I think you can because the – what happens in the show, it's not a spoiler. It's watching how it rolls out that's so entertaining. Like telling him that he's a polygamist, that doesn't spoil anything.

It's just watching the way they behave. Well, there are some things that happen that would so entertaining. Like telling him that he's a polygamist, that doesn't spoil anything. It's just watching the way they behave. Well, there are some things that happen that would be spoilers. Let me just tell you, this is an incredible real life drama that they captured on camera. I texted you guys earlier with like some of the like, I'll call them bullet points.

And these are some things that happen in the show. Again, these aren't spoilers. These are things that happen. I'm not telling you who they happen to, or maybe it's even characters you haven't met yet in episode one. Here we go. Cults, murder, suicide, arson, prison time, polygamy, gold diggers, animal cruelty, meth, animal attacks, guns, explosives, boiling crocodiles, swingers,

and presidential campaigns. These are all things that the main characters of this show will be involved with and will all happen on camera. There will be a death essentially on camera. There is a disfigurement that happens on camera. There will be a death essentially on camera. There is a disfigurement that happens on camera. There is a tiger attack on camera.

Is that why the guy has that crutch thing in episode one? Actually, no. He has no legs. That's because that happened in a zipline accident. The most white trash ever went to Loser Lake. He could have kept them, but he was working 16 hours a day for Joe walking around on the tiger farm

and his feet got infected or something. They had to take his legs up to the mid thigh. Now he's got these cool prosthetics. He's like, a lot of people ask me, did the tigers eat your legs? Nah. Zip lining. I fell down and totally crushed my feet and good prognosis until like you know joe he said you gotta get back to work and so

i came back and i'm walking around on them and and like every single thing every from what i've seen i i'm thinking i might have got through all of episode two and part of three because I just had it on autoplay. And every single person who is caught in the wake of at least the two cult leader guys, the two polygamists, they all blame themselves for anything bad that happens to them. None of them blame the cult leader, at least so far. It's like, it's a masterclass in just manipulation for these people. They're all great manipulators. Every one of them.

Even Carol. Carol doesn all great manipulators. Every one of them. Even Carol. Carol doesn't pay her employees. Those are fallen tears. At least the other guys pay like... 100 bucks. 100 bucks a week or 200 bucks a week. At least those guys are getting dick. She does not pay them.

And it's a cult there too, essentially. Because it reminded me so much of cults I've heard about where once you've been here a year, you get a red shirt. It's like a Scientology structure. Yeah, after two years, a green shirt. And she's like, I don't really start noticing people

until they've been here for five years. Then I'm just like, I've seen you around a lot. And she's got this fake hillary clinton thing where she rolls her eyes and does these fake laughs so hillary i want a tiger to kill her so much i want her much let me just say this there's a lot of people in this documentary that want her dead and there's a few that take some steps to make that happen. Yes!

We can tell you that in the opening episode. Yeah, we're talking about dudes flying around helicopters wanting to drop grenades and shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Contract killer. That was a joke. There are people who take steps. All right? He joked about,

what if we drop some grenades? Steps are taken. Do you remember the remember the clans are put in motion and it was it was in the same clip as the shirt thing you're talking about kyle so i'm sure all of us remember if that was episode one where some yellow shirt volunteer blue shirt or whatever like they're all in like a natural setting outside of some building you know all getting ready to work and she's just joking with this woman like are you gonna be home for christmas this year and the the volunteer is like no no christmas for me i haven't had christmas in many years and it's like everybody's and she's like oh that's so funny all right now go clean up tiger shit in my dirty ass pseudo zoo. And it's like, man, that was when it fully,

like when she went off the precipice where she can't be redeemed for me, where it's like, man, you are up on your fucking high horse so hard on this gay guy who just wants some nice dick and this sociopath who just wants good pussy and tigers, and you are fucking conscripting armies of stupid women who would otherwise be involved in multi-level marketing schemes and getting them to I could be selling Amway or Amy

or Avon. Yeah, you could have you could have had a pink Cadillac by now. I could have been yeah, exactly. Like basically and then they like they did a walkthrough of her kind of version of the zoo compared to gay guy harem and straight guy harems. Hers looks horrible in comparison. It's so overgrown.

They were taking pictures and videos of how you can't even see through the brush and the weeds growing up next to the side of the cage because it's so overgrown that you have to go to certain angles to even see the tigers. Say what you will about those other two assholes, at least when you were looking at the clips of their businesses, you can see the tigers. They've got shit to play with. It looks like a zoo. It doesn't look like you threw a tiger at a bunch of chicken wire. They let the patrons hold the cubs.

They take selfies with them and stuff. Enclosures look bigger too yeah that's a big part of their uh their money-making operation it's called cub petting and uh and so here's the problem with that personally i don't have a problem with it because these are endangered animals there's there's 4 000 alive in the wild and like 15 000 in america in captivity or some shit like that if they didn't want us to do this they should have fucked better in the wild yeah they should look first of all i hate cats so i don't care want us to do this, they should have fucked better in the wild. Yeah, they should have.

First of all, I hate cats, so I don't care what happens to them. If this was dogs, I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a little fucked up. What if it was hyenas? I don't give a fuck about hyenas. I'm not sure what genus they hail from, but fuck hyenas too. They're closer to cats than dogs. I don't care what those things are. With those big lady cocks they have, it's creepy.

Yeah, the lady has her babies through like a long penis-like vagina. It's like a big old clit. It's like a pseudo penis. I thought you were saying their penises look like human penises. Look like human female penises. That's where my head was like, I don't understand. No, no, like female hyenas have a penis looking thing but it's yeah yeah it's a faux cock so yeah it's the most entertaining thing i've seen it's better than

making a murder making a murder excuse me it's better than making a murderer but it follows a similar um uh pattern to making a murder how at the end of every episode, they're like, oh, by the way, there's a witness. And you're like, bum, bum, bum! Or like somebody at the end of the episode will get mauled or murdered or killed or dead. Somebody

will die at the end of an episode as you get deeper. There's seven episodes, about 42 minutes long each. It's the best, about 42 minutes long each. It's the best thing I've seen in memory. I can't think of the last, especially something that's a documentary like this. And look, this is not one of those fake

reality TV shows. During the filming of this, there is a reality TV show. Yeah. There's going to be some ramifications at the end of this and i don't mean after this i mean in the show there are people going to federal prison i like some of the spoilers you're saving happening in the opening minutes like it the guy's in jail in the

opening minutes the guy hires a murder for a contractor or hired to kill someone in the opening minutes. The guy hires a murderer for a contractor or hired to kill someone in the opening seconds. That's how they kick off the whole series. There's more I don't know, perhaps. No, I think maybe there's some that I don't remember. And the specific details are what makes some of this stuff crazy. One of the things I will say is uh joe joe um exotic accomplished country music singer the man really he's got two albums like 28 music videos a couple dozen singles

and they're on youtube and at a certain point you're to want to hop on YouTube and start watching them. He's got one where he... Are they terrible? No, they're good. That's the problem. He's a good singer. Legitimately good. The visuals are a little cheesy. Joe Exotic Country Music. Here's his single, Here Kitty Kitty. That's the one. Here Kitty Kitty is... I don't want to spoil this. I don't want to spoil what it's about.

Is it him trying to get pussy on... No, no, that's the other guy. No, it's an attack. This is like a rap battle. This is an attack against someone. I hope to God Hillary Clinton made her own diss track that I'll just say

that without without naming who or exactly what someone murdered someone clearly in the show that and he made a song about how that other person murdered someone

with an impersonator of them that looks so close that you do a double take. This guy rules. This guy is so cool. Cool guy of the week so far. Cool guy of the week. Well, I can't give it to him because the heart of a bitch's guy

in fucking Florida, he's doing a good job. Doc is the man. Doc literally has like they interview like one of his former ladies she's like you know i was 19 and my dad was like don't fall in love with your boss and i was like well i'm not and then the next thing i know he was paying for my titty implants and i didn't really want to get them but it was more like they it was more like they just scheduled the appointment and told me when I was going to go, and then they show her with the new boobs, and it's like, it's a good thing you went, honey.

It was a good move. But also the way she was saying, she's like, and I didn't really want the tits, but all I had in my head was, you know, I would get a couple days rest. For recovery from surgery. And I wanted the rest so bad, I got new boobs. She got some nice boobies.

She did. It was an improvement, all right? I wanted the rest so bad, I got new boobs. She got some nice boobies. She did. It was an improvement, all right? And you get to take those home with you. Yeah, yeah. You get to keep those and bring them to the cult. Yeah, you get to have those after the cult's done. You could tell she missed the cult. She was like talking a little shit on it, but it was like...

Almost longingly. Yeah, I wish they'd been like, would you like to go back? Well, I don't know. Maybe if he paid a little more. She was down to go back. Because her new life involves splitting her own wood for her

heat in her home. I could tell maybe she missed whatever mansion that Doc had her set up in or hanging out with tigers and riding elephants. God, starting a cult. Good idea. I feel like Doc is going to say, why would I take you back? You're like 24 now.

He has a car. He has like six ladies. And some of them have been there for like 20 years. I called it too. I called it. We were watching and I was like, I think this guy. I called it. We were watching and I was like, I think this guy's

got a color. Notice how many, how all of his employees are hot chicks. All of them. You go to Joe's place and he's literally hired ex-felons. They all look like carnies. They look like carnies.

They're grizzled. Lots of missing teeth, long, straggly hair. He's got them living in single-wide trailers with one AC unit and no running water hardly. There's rodents in their house. Then you go over to the other guy's place, and he's got six rather attractive ladies, 20 to 30 years old, living in nice houses,

dressed up however he wants them to, which is pretty scantily clad most of the time. Yeah. For a pitting tiger session for children. I want to go. I want to go. Yeah. The one guys were getting expired meat or some shit from Walmart.

Oh, I was going to talk about that. To feed the tigers is an incredibly expensive thing. Joe Exotic has about 230 250 tigers. These are huge animals. They stand up. They're like

10-11 feet tall or something like that. Plus, it doesn't even go into how many lions he has, how many wolves, how many bears. up they're like 10 11 feet tall or something like that plus like it doesn't even go go into like how many uh lions he has how many wolves how many bears they said ten thousand dollars a cat and something like three quarter a million a year and that's what he said right three what three grand a cat three grand i think it was three grand a cat per year or something like that but it came to about 750 000 a year to feed the cats and one of the ways that they supplement that obviously you know anytime there's road kill the highway patrol calls oh they go pick that deer up feed it to the cats and what walmart words it

will do he explained the scenario which like oh maybe somebody takes their meat up to the counter their car gets declined well this person's handled the. It's been out of the freezer or the refrigerated area. They can't put it back. So they have to throw it away. Well, we get that. So what his employees do is they pick over these big trash cans full of

expired meat from Walmart, pick out the good shit, and that's what they eat. Well, there's a better way. They could just show up with declined credit cards i've seen larry up to the walmart twice a day with a bad card it's so good you got like it's it's it's so so good You couldn't script a better show. You couldn't. Something about the people who are into exotic animals already,

they're odd, odd, odd people. And these are the oddest of them. And every episode you get to meet, you'll be like, well, we have filled the quota of creepy, weird dudes on this show. And then the next episode comes and they're like this is jeff jeff is a swinger who's a fake millionaire and a con man and it's just like oh god jeff guy seems awful i like oh he is i like how the series opened up with like some random fucking fat bald guy who

also clearly loved animals. And he's like, yeah, I mean, it's kind of just, you know, exotic animal lovers and, you know,

in the trade, it's kind of an extended family of sorts. You know, you got the monkey people who are just kind of strange, honestly, but the big cat people, they will stab you right in the back. And it's like, how could this be a stereotype in this community?

Where it's like, now the monkey people, they'll treat you right, but a little strange. But these cat people, you keep your eyes out when you're around a cat person. That was great. Joe's firearm safety. Woo! That man should not have... That was great. Joe's firearm safety. That man should not have... First of all, he's always got a revolver on his side. I couldn't notice what it was. I don't know.

Maybe a Smith & Wesson or something. Probably a.38. It doesn't seem that loud. He's always got a revolver on. He wears it on a gun belt with a bandolier bolt. Cowboy style. That's just part of one of his fetishes. There's a part where

he wears jets. This is a minor, minor spoiler. This is like a tiny little thing that happens in one episode. But he thinks somebody sprayed his boots with cologne, which cats are crazy about. They freak out over it. And so he's in the cage

by himself. In a bad way? In a bad way. It's on his it. And so he's in the cage by himself in a bad way. Okay. It's on his boots. It's on him. So he's in the cage with a couple of tigers and this tiger is clearly interested in his shoe. And he's like, shoot, shoot. Come on now. I'm trying to do my little thing for the camera. Tiger bites his boot and he's got good boots on to his credit, bites his boot and he's got good boots on to his credit but it bites his boot and starts dragging him and he's with he's hitting the tiger in the head with a like a cane like a stick you know it's not injuring the tiger but it's like come on let me go let me go let me go and finally he goes into the pistol and he's just like shoots right next to its head bang Bang! And the cat drops him and he's like, the fuck? I didn't know you had that. Well, this has changed the equation.

Now the other two cats are honing in on him because he's down now, right? And he's just like, I'll shoot you right between the fucking eyes! Nobody was coming to help Joe. It was just Joe in the cage with three fucking 800 pound tigers or

something like that and him with five shots left in his six shooter just like i'll shoot you right between the fucking eyes trying to limp away i can't wait it's yeah this show have a leg problem like i'm getting yeah yeah you know. He's on a crutch. Yeah, he's got like a knee brace and a crutch on and off because we're hopping around through time a little bit. It's hard to follow. No, is the knee brace thing related to that attack? No, he had that before the attack and during the attack.

That's not explained. Oh, okay. I don't know. I think it's some meniscus tear, some chronic injury. Zipline related also. probably something real white trash why is zipline white trash it's not to me i i don't know i'm just saying that i guess it might to be his exotic vacation you know like oh i went to belize and took a zipline or through the the rainforest of the amazon there There's a zip line. Stone Mountain zip line. I've done a good bit of zip lining. I'm a big fan. I like it a lot.

Hey, did you see McMillions? No, I haven't seen it. Is that a McGregor thing? No, no, no. I was going to say, as a fellow Georgian... McMillions is about the

mafia-involved conspiracy to defraud the the monopoly mcdonald's game i've heard of it yeah i want to watch that i'll watch that after tiger man or whatever the fuck yeah tiger king is the shit dude like like i'm telling you this joe exotic guy is the star but he's got a supporting cast like none other like like i'm telling you like what do you get to his wedding his three-way wedding three-way gay wedding dude they're the the guy who plays the the female harem guy i'm trying is his name doc doc yeah he behaves like a villain cast in an 80s b movie like way over the top in his the way he clips his words at the end and everything is spoken in a very odd open-mouthed form it's like oh you're like trying

you like got to earth four days ago and you're like you know what i mean then his eyes like John Malkovich and Con Air. Yeah. He is absurd. He's Cyrus the Virus from Con Air. No, we're not going to rape her yet. Okay? She's a hostage.

Yeah. I don't know. I'd like to rape another bitch. Why is hostage and no raping mutually exclusive? No. Because we want to rape another bitch. Why is hostage and no raping mutually exclusive? No. Because we want to negotiate for her. Okay. Con Air's good for that.

She will be worthless. Yeah, so. Steve Buscemi. Yeah, I like Steve Buscemi. He's good. It's kind of masochist. We live in an animal lecture shit. I feel like it's masochist to not rape her, right?

He's implying that she'll have no value if she's raped. Really? Women still have value post-sexual assault. Enlighten yourself. I think maybe it was going to be a mape. You know, a murder rape. Well, I will admit they're less valuable after.

His prison name was like Johnny 73 or something because he had like 73 rapes and he had a tattoo for every lady he'd raped. Danny Trejo plays a real bad guy in that movie. What an absolute monster. It's time to add another tattoo, you bitch. It's like people sitting in the writer's room and they're like, it's just spitball in here. Maybe he's raped 73 people?

How do they know he's raped? Well, you haven't thought about this yet, have you? Why does that have to be a stereotypical Jewish writer? I don't know. That was funnier to me. I can tell. Yeah, so check out

Tiger King if you're listening to this i promise you you i promise you you won't be disappointed we're gonna be talking about it next week uh because i'm sure the guys will yeah we'll get caught finish it off watch a few more it's it's it's so so so good i promise you you're not gonna believe what happens in the like third fourth fifth episodes and by the end it's like well shit you don't come back from that do you i just it's i think part of what makes it so good is you're both looking at a bunch of absurd shit and you're being clued in to an entire community and category of people that nobody knew existed i didn't know there were stereotypes about exotic animal owners that owned different kinds.

I didn't know they had little rivalries and spats where they threatened to kill each other and had harems of women that they had sex with. The only person I know who has anything like that is at an ox ranch, right? But that's kind of different. He doesn't really treat them like pets. He's got the wolf. How many bitches are in his harem?

Less than six. we're not gonna get in all that he's got a lovely wife all right you know just leave it at that less than doc so yeah man that is pretty cool though about i love the binge watching though like that's that's the one thing that i'm i'm super excited about like i i got to watch first i think three seasons the walking dead back in the day when I lived in California. And I watched them in the span of like a day or two. And I went outside, blacked out the windows and stuff and everything. And then like when I went out to go to 7-Eleven, it was like, oh, shit, people are walking down the street.

It like forced me in this reality for a few days. So it's always fun, like hearing about these things to binge watch on i think right now for me it's probably peaky blinders i've burned through like five seasons in the last last week or so are you quarantined richard yeah i'm i'm yeah i'm trying to isolate as much as possible um you know even even guys in the company they're wanting to like film and do stuff and i'm like nah man i'll go to the range and i'll set up cameras on my own it's like i you know i just Even guys in the company, they're wanting to film and do stuff. I'm like, no, man. I'll go to the range and I'll set up cameras on my own. I just don't want to be that guy who comes across as arrogant saying,

I'll be able to deal with it. It's fine or whatever. The guy who owns my gym, he's one of the coaches or whatever. He tested positive for COVID. His wife's like, man, he is in, he's in rough shape. He's like 30 years old and like an athlete, like he just won this, uh, weightlifting, uh, comp to qualify for some type of, you know, national competition. And I was like, fuck man, like, you know, your lungs are something that you're, you're, you, you want to think, oh, I'm in good shape and everything, but you get scar tissue on your lungs. It's like, eh, it's like a roll of the dice. Do you really want to think oh i'm in good shape and everything but you get scar tissue on your lungs it's like yeah it's like a roll of the dice do you really want

to or not yeah it seems to affect different people in different ways no i don't want different people in different ways like i i saw that story about that like 90 something year old grandmother who's like fine now and then i see these things about literally people like you described fitness trainers like people at the peak of like physical fitness in their late 20s and early 30s like like in the prime of their life and it's destroying them like like they're they're on the verge of death yeah either way the way i look at it too is like fuck man like if you know the global markets are going to take a hit from people self-isolating and quarantining it's kind of fucked up for me to be arrogant not take it seriously and just go about business as usual because i'm just kind of invalidating the

sacrifice that other people are making by doing that well you got to take it seriously like yeah and if you are going gonna go out you know obviously just you know be safe keep keep your space from people let me stand super close in line all that like it's what a weird time we're living in right now like who would have thought that the united states who what what was it like three months ago everyone's on top of the world the stock market soaring oh well we're never coming down we're awesome we're the kind of country with stick-to-itiveness a week of no working that wouldn't even be a blip on our radar and then all this happens and it turns out oh we're way more of

an economic paper tiger than any of us realized apparently it hasn't been much of a sacrifice for me. I'm worth like 57 million virtual rubles now. 210. My mentor, ladies and gentlemen. No, it's just, I feel like the long-term effects, like you can model, you can forecast, you can do a bunch of different things, but I don't think anyone will see the long long-term effects or be able to realize them be at the stock market or whatever for months maybe even years to come oh yeah and who are these

retards in media being like did you see that china is down to only 60 new cases today why can't we get on it like china and And it's like, are you an actual retarded person? You know what you do? You go to China and report on that. Yeah, you should go do yoga and traffic, you idiot. Because there is no fucking way that China's telling the truth. I bet their death

total is 10 times minimum what they're saying. Probably higher than that. Most of their country is living they got wet markets. They're letting like bats make out with ferrets before they buy them and take them home and throw them in a frying pan and undercook them apparently and like they need to fucking get this shit under control and they that is the recipe there's no way when it has been ripped by ante you gotta burn off steam somehow. I can almost understand how those crazy wet markets exist.

I think we've all said that I'd like to try brain. We've said that on the show. If you told me that bat's actually kind of cool. It's like a chicken but tangy. Everyone else is eating it and it's normal. I

get it. I don't know. What society deems normal is normal. And we look at it from the outside. I would eat a person long before I eat a bat. Oh. Well, maybe I'm just not aware of bat danger. I kind of just want to eat a person, frankly. I eat a person if it were on postmates

and it was like, huh, people. I'd order me some people. I would. I don't see what the big problem is. I feel like everybody else is like, oh my god, it's the worst thing ever. You're not a human being anymore if you cannibalize a person. It depends what part of the person I'm eating.

Who next traps her spring? I'd rather eat a white woman. I feel like my ideal cut... i need that in my soundboard i'd rather eat a white woman i feel like my ideal cut of the human body is this right here yeah yeah right i've talked about this before this is a drum this is the human version of the drumstick right grab that bitch right there you got this big hunk of delicious meat right here in the thumb i want those with some hot wing sauce you know some zaxby's like like fixings on there some fries i could i could eat half a dozen human thumbs oh i could easily eat half a dozen human thumbs as long as like you crisp them the right way i don't want a soggy

human thumb no you don't want soggy i want i want them like fried and then like tossed in in like a good a good hot sauce pretty good probably like just like a sliced off ass cheek oh that's that that would be my second favorite that'd be like uh i would throw that in a a crock pot with a bunch of uh onions onions and potatoes seasoning chicken stock whatever i need. No, beef. You definitely want beef stock. Yeah, beef stock. Yeah, some tomato paste, some thyme, some rosemary. Give that four hours on high, six to eight on low,

and it's going to be tender and delicious. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely eat human ass meat if it was prepared in that way. Yeah, like a pot roast. I bet it would taste great. Just falling off, just peeling that delicious... Maybe some white rice to go with it, you know, on the side. You know what I wouldn't want to eat

is someone with a tattoo. I don't want the reminder. Ooh, no. I don't think that would be tasty. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, and it would taste bad. If you're a tatted up person, just... I don't even know if that's good for you. I'm not eating that. It's true. It can't possibly be good for you to eat a bunch of ink. Well, it probably isn's good for you. I'm not eating that. It's true. It can't possibly be good for you to eat a bunch of ink. Well, it probably isn't good for you to eat people either.

So once you're down that road. I think you're fine about eating the people as long as you don't eat any brain matter and get those prions. Yeah. How about tongue? I wonder if tongue is good. Cow tongue is good. I don't even want to eat cow tongue. Have you ever had it?

No. I intentionally avoided it. There's a really nice market here in Atlanta, and they have everything. There's like kidneys and brain and liver and stuff. And I'm just like, I mean, come on. You guys don't know this. The steak's good. Steaks are good.

Nice little fried chicken liver, though. No, no, I never had it. Never had it. Don't want it. No, that's absurd. You're further. You live further south than I do. Yeah, I avoid that sort of thing.

I like ham hocks. That's like a pig's ankle. Those are good. Most kinds of ham are good. I like to slow cook those with some pinto beans, a little crackling cornbread. Never got that. Pickled pig's feet and shit like that.

Never got it. No, that's completely different. That's a weird thing. Never got it. I take the smoked ham hocks and I slow cook them in like a big pot of pinto beans for like four hours until they turn into like country ham it's it's good it's smoky salty it's good delicious delicious fun for the whole family yeah i'm not sure all right so what other series you got oh just recommendations for binge watching well I don't like

Westworld, Westworld season 1 if you just want one was great I didn't like 2 very much and 3 is awful but if you've seen 1 you've already like you've gotten there you've seen the best of what that's going to be

I'm watching Star Trek Picard right now I'm a big Star Trek fan but Star Trek Picard you've gotten there. You've seen the best of what that's going to be. I'm watching Star Trek Picard right now. I'm a big Star Trek fan, but Star Trek Picard is garbage. I don't know. I'm not watching much right now. I've been watching a lot of YouTube. I've been watching a lot of YouTubers. One of my favorite YouTubers has Coronavirus. The guy who does

a YouTube channel called Binging with the Babish. Oh, yeah. That guy has coronavirus. Oh, that's not good. Harry, eat this. Yeah, right? I don't know if you ever watch Barstool Sports, the guy who does the one-bite pizza reviews. Yeah, Dave

Portnoy. Yeah, he's doing frozen pizza reviews now. Because he's staying at home. It's really funny because every day he's like, all right, Red Baron, let's go. Let's go see how this is. He's not going out because he's in New York.

New York is a shit show right now with it. Yeah, there's so many people in such a small area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad I'm not in a place like that. I mean, Atlanta's bad enough. I'm in kind of a suburb of Atlanta these days, so it's not so bad. It's not super crowded where I live, and obviously I'm not going outside at all. And I started stocking up on dry goods and canned goods like a month before it actually got serious at all.

Like way back when we were all just joking about it and being silly about it, and it was just in a small part of China. about it and being silly about it and it was just in a small part of china i was like maybe i should just go ahead and buy a couple cases of toilet paper and four hundred dollars worth of dry goods and canned goods and i did so i've got i'm good i'm good for months conceivably oh me too stuff that i went overboard with it because i was having fun and it was before it was before anybody else was like prepping for stuff i was just walking through the grocery store like, ooh, Spam? I'll take 20. Or whatever the hell it was. Spam, tremendously underrated food.

Especially when you cube it up, fry it, and then throw it in with your scrambled eggs. Ah, that's where I was at! Yeah, that's what you want with Spam. That's what I was going to say. It's good with eggs. I got so many flour tortillas. They keep much longer than you might imagine. I've been making these breakfast quesadillas with like scrambled eggs and bacon and onions and peppers.

So fucking good. So fucking good. I love eggs. This was more, yeah, I bought some eggs and this was more just to like see how it would work, how it would change the taste. But you can freeze eggs, not in the shell, because it'll crack. And so I bought a 36-pack of eggs, and I cracked three eggs into little sandwich bags, and then sealed those up, and then threw them all in a big bag

and threw it in my freezer. And apparently, according to the internet, that'll last for fucking ever. And when you want the eggs, you take them out of there, put it in your fridge for a day so that they thaw and then they're good the following day. And so I'm wondering if finally, you know,

when I'm out of all my eggs, of course I could just run to the store and buy more. But if I have the virus, I don't want to go out and give it to anyone. I'm going to try that. I bet it's not going to taste as good as regular eggs, but I bet it's not bad. I froze a lot of beef.

Um, I've got about 10, like not a lot, I guess a lot of beef. Um, I've got about 10, like not a lot, I guess a lot's on the way. Poor Bessie's meat and maker pretty soon. I have like a hundred fucking steaks or something like that. But right now I've got like eight pounds of beef, I think something like that.

And two or three pounds of chicken and Turkey. So, so I'm good. I'm good for the conceivable future. Um, I got a ton of pasta, a bunch of canned green beans and corn potatoes i did all that same stuff lots of uh i got like i figured out what meals i wanted and

then i bought multiples of the ingredients to make those meals so like i really like pasta sauce so it's like all right lots of ground beef yeah lots of san marzano tomatoes lots of garlic lots of uh all the things that go into those things and then I've got like 10 bottles of wine in my basement. I got butter frozen, all sorts of stuff. What dropped? I just dropped a spoiler on something that I was, I'm working on. I think you might get a kick out of give us, give us something to chat about there.

You're asking about some of the stuff I'm doing on my own. So I created this collapsible circuit um you you familiar with collapsible circuits like not at all so okay so what it is is i made a essentially an it's an ied and the way it's it's triggered is you can take and you can take put copper paint on a piece of paper and then when you hook your blasting cap up to that um if there's continuity through it and everything it's it's a circuit right so i have it running through a separate blasting machine so that once that circuit's broke it will trigger a zero delay blasting blasting cap you want to talk about a nerve-wracking moment when you're checking continuity on that thing and

you're hooking it up because like you know i wanted to use an inert uh 40 millimeter around to be able to explode this alien head so to be able to get it to look like it's actually exploding on camera i had to do it with this collapsible circuit thing so it was pretty nerve-wracking but that's like a little little spoiler on something i've been working on wow cool yeah um so for those listening he's he's shooting an alien head and it's exploding into green goo that's really fucking cool someone held a gun to my head and said figure out how to do this i would just lay down and let them kill me what's the 40 being launched out of uh it's out of you know it's it's it's like an m203 but it's it's one of those chinese chinese like knockoffs yeah spikes makes a

cool one yeah yeah okay i don't know if they took that or not I'm sure they did I'm sure they did They took everything I have it under good authority They're very good at finding things I was talking about that last week I was obviously talking about the first time They raided my house

And that was a situation ATF was in the in the living room and they had this big list of like my registered stuff and they're like we're uh we're not coming up with a couple machine guns here and they're looking at me like I've done something wrong and I'm like well they're in the they're in they're in my bedroom they're like we searched the bedroom quite well sir and I'm like mind if I take a look? And like, help yourself. And I walk in and I just like, I know exactly where the machine gun is. And I just like reach between two pairs of blue jeans on a rack and go,

and I've got an M4. And I'm just like, this the one? And he's, I won't use his name, but the head of the field office looks at his agent like, you've just humiliated me in front of mr myers you've made me appear a fool and i do not appreciate the last time gaston you failed me you're definitely on um let's say the unfavorable end of that situation i will say i've had a very favorable, uh,

situation in an audit inspection, um, where they came and I was completely caught off guard very much like you in that, that situation where it was like, Hey, we've got this list. Where are these things?

And again, I won't, I won't use names. Uh, but I was like, I, I don't know. Like I, I, I won't use names, but I was like, I don't know. Like, I didn't do that form. That's not mine.

Like, what is it? What's the serial number? What's, like, it's a 20 millimeter? What? Like, oh, that's the dude I paid, like, two or three years ago. He already formed it. and he's been sitting on my money and hasn't shipped me the rifle and I was like yes yes now I got the ATF on my side breathing down his neck and they're like hey you know that thing that's in your possession

you better ship that out this week or if it's not finished you need to finish it this week because you've already formed it this guy and it should be in his his uh safe and i was like yes i've been trying to get this this this freaking rifle for years now and dude's been sitting on it that's shocking so you paid for it and it took him years to deliver and you did yeah some of these asking for a refund or is that just it doesn't really work with these guys. Not the big board guys. A lot of these specialty shops and stuff like that, they're like, we'll get around to it when we get around to it and you pay us first.

It wasn't... I don't want to say. Do I know him? You may. I don't know if you work with him personally, but he is... Florida? Yeah.

I know him real well. Okay, okay. Yeah, I've worked with him a couple times. Yeah. Yeah. Did he have a fire? Maybe have a fire a few years back? I don't know.

Suspicious circumstances? Probably. Who knows what happened? I can't believe we had a flood right here on the mountaintop yeah i paid him for a suppressor and everything and only got the rifle but it's probably because of i i i sort of made it sound like there was something suspicious about that fire but there really wasn't it was a it was if i had to guess i don't know your circumstances but i would i would guess that your delay was perhaps caused by his,

his, uh, unforeseen circumstances around that fire. That really fucked his shit up. He was relegated to like a garage for, for, for a year or so. Cause he lost like,

it was millions. Um, he only had, he only had like one or two show rifles um left because the rest of them were in the fire basically people broke into his factory um realized they're on candid camera and the uh the dvr is locked in a big boy safe and so they burned the whole facility down and in it was like a lot of 25 millimeter bradley, like millions of dollars worth of it. And,

uh, he didn't have anything insured. Yeah. I've talked to a few guys in the community, like, uh, dangerous Bob and some of them. And they're like,

yeah, no, that's just how this dude operates. He's, uh, it's like pulling teeth to get stuff done. So I was like, all right,

well, cool. But Hey, that was awesome. That like the ATF, they were like, like, like I've never been so like like it like i've

never been so like oh shit what did i do what did i do wrong what did i do wrong and they're like hey where are these things i'm like when you've got lots of stuff on your books it can it like it can be like those moments where you're like staring at a serial number and like some abbreviation for a rifle or or a thing and you're just like, my heart would drop. It would go, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom. And I'm like, I don't recognize this. I don't know what this is. I don't know what this is.

I don't know what... Oh, it's this. Oh, it's this. This is it. Here it is. Here it is. No prison today. Well, Bob was telling me that he has...

Or he was looking to buy someone's lot of, don't quote me on it, but it was ammunition. So it was like 30 millimeter from like A-10s or something like that. And every single round was serialized and it was like 40,000 rounds. was serialized and it was like 40 000 rounds and so in that audit they have to go through 40 000 serial numbers and can you imagine the amount of you know agent inspectors coming out for that and just the sheer amount of time going through it'd be like you're rolling the dice if they miscounted one yeah can't find it Good luck finding that needle in a haystack. Did the grope get his 30 working? I don't know.

James is another dude who's so hard to get motivated. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he doesn't need to work. Dangerous Bob is such a fun guy. I mean, the guy's name is Dangerous Bob for those listening. You know, like Oddfella, missing a finger or two. Odd fella. Real fun.

Every time I see him, it's just like, oh, there he is. So unsuspecting, too. Like, I think I met him with you in SHOT Show, like, I want to say eight or nine years ago or something. Probably. Something like that. I met him out in Tennessee. Like, who's this? With Ira?

Yeah, with Ira. Yeah. Yeah. I met him out in Tennessee. Like who's this? With Ira? Yeah, with Ira. Yeah. Yeah. He had brought me a flamethrower. And Scott, you know, my cousin Scott, that would cameraman for me, he and I are sitting over there like fixing our camera, making it right. And Dangerous Bob's over there like getting the flamethrower dialed in. And it's kind of finicky because it's a Vietnam era flamethrower. And in. It's kind of finicky because it's a Vietnam-era flamethrower. He's shooting diesel out of it.

It's a very hot, humid day. 95 degrees, fucking 90% humidity. It's awful to be outside. I look, and he's enveloped in a cloud of diesel mist. I mean, enveloped in it. He's trying to get the igniter to go off he's click click click click click and he's just and he's continuously spraying this this this fog of diesel and i'm like scott scott scott scott film that film that this motherfucker's about to die

on us watch this shit watch this shit and like we're there's no way to put him out if he goes i mean there's a lake over put him out. He goes up. I mean, there's a lake over there. But by the time he gets to that, I mean, he's toast. I thought he was going to die that day. There's a lake over there. Yeah, forget the Tiger King. I feel like there's so many niche communities in the world of everything.

Like you say, firearms. Every community has its own thing. And a lot of those guys are secretive and and like especially with firearm stuff because they don't want their shit to get stolen because it happens so much um you know a lot of those guys that i've met would be you know they want to show me what they've got and it was shocking so many times i've been shocked at the things that people would have. Up in Ohio, there's a gentleman with, yeah, shocking things. Shocking things. What are you, the National Guard?

Missile silos. Yeah. A lot of those dudes have those decommissioned missile silos that just go up for auction, which is funny because in the last year, I was looking at some of them out in arizona and nevada and they weren't that expensive and like in the last two months they've all sold over market price like or list price rephrase that um because there was a bunch of like la times articles oh you can own a missile silo or whatever in like october of last year and it's like okay that's actually a couple hundred thousand dollars that's i mean it's not that expensive in the grand scheme of things for something that's already like built out with concrete and everything going out there

and retrofitting some stuff with some amenities and everything now it's like good luck getting those for you know under sub million or two yeah you got a fallout shelter ready made by the u.s government yeah it's legit richard you were looking at buying a missile silo for what purpose no no i was just look i like look dude i like looking at stuff i like looking at tiny houses like i i never actually pull the trigger on it. You're just imagining your life with a missile silo. Were you thinking of converting a missile silo into an exotic home? For tigers? I don't know.

These are fallout shelters. I don't know. The thing is, you're trying to look at different. Trying to look at different – I like the Airbnb model of adventure vacation lodging, right? Where it's like people put tiny houses on exotic ranches in Texas or whatever that is, right? Or go stay at this missile silo for the week and it's like a bunker or something like that. That was the wild hair. I can't judge too much. When I lived in my last house and we were buying a new one,

I was like, how much is a castle? I think I turned you on to the castle. Did you? You may have, you may have. Yeah. I've always wanted a moat.

You know, Game of Thrones was big. Stateside or overseas? Stateside. I've seen those too. Buying an ancient North Carolina castle. I was like, the cheapest castle? I could swing it.

I could swing the cheapest castle until some other guy moves into the bigger nicer castle and you're just sitting there in your parapet looking out your... Shaking with anger. Lord Farquaad, his forces are massing my lord. I mean, I don't know about these multi-million dollar facilities. Colin, send a raven. Legit ghost towns are places where people have been murdered that you can't

give away. Give that away to me? I'm not afraid of ghosts and shit. That's what I was saying. Kyle would definitely be down to stay there. I would be like, hey, bro, come stay at my Airbnb. I'm great. Let's go. The ghost towns are interesting, too.

I own this town. I'm also the mayor. I own all the places and it's like I own Detroit for $300 that would be less than a month's pay at the Tiger King Ranch

the thing you want to do with Detroit they don't want you to do like they I think it's hard to buy a place or at least it was that you didn't intend

to like live in and make a thing out of you know even if you just wanted to rip it down and wait for real estate to turn around they were against that.

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right at amazon walmart or wherever you shop once again smartmouth.com slash pka for your free coupon nice yeah if you scroll up to nine uh 9 30 p.m um i've got a i got that video there obviously taylor stepped away for a moment. So we'll wait for him to return. Cool, cool. Richard, you been working out during the quarantine? No. No?

I'm getting so fat. Dude, so I live stream and I do this thing where if I fuck up in the video game, there's different exercise based punishments in this last one. Every time I die, I do 20 pushups and five pull-ups. That's a pull-up bar. The orange thing behind me last night, 140 or 160 pushups and 35 or 40 pull-ups.

That's a lot, man. Like you took the course of time. Yeah. It's not like I do them back to back or anything but like you know it adds up man it turns into a thing and i've been streaming just about every night and like sometimes i need a day off but that's awesome good for you like i really wanted to do that especially with binge watching so much um and everything. The gym I go to is a CrossFit gym, and they were really cool about, hey, members, we've got to shut down city ordinance, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anybody who wants to come take equipment, be it barbells, bikes, rowers, kettlebells,

all that stuff, come get it, check it out. And then if it's a month, if it's two months, whatever, just bring it back whenever we're done. And I procrastinated and procrastinated i procrastinated procrastinated i wanted to get on an assault bike and a kettlebell wall ball you know so i could at least do you know some stuff jump rope and everything and it's kind of funny i was going i kept hitting the owner up trying to get out there to to get the equipment and everything and they weren't very responsive and everything and then a couple days later i find out that you know you test positive for corona and then like two other people from the gym did too so i was like yeah it's probably for the better i'll just i'll eat my stills berry toaster strudels i like the business con that's interesting to me right because

a place a gym that i'm not allowed to go to is my first cancellation. Right. My last one is obviously my internet connection, but I love it. I feel like I would drop the gym for three months if I can't go for three months that like, that's, that's not fair to me. Yeah. I just, so the thing is I know a lot of those guys are small business owners and I told him, I was like, like, I, I drop in at so many gyms across the country from traveling and everything. This is like easily like one of my favorite gyms hands down because of the programming. They're so good at scaling. Cause you go to some gyms and I don't like, you know, you get some professional athletes like Matt Fraser and Rich Froning out of Mayhem and Tennessee. These dudes are like,

you know, they're the fittest men in the world. Right. So they're, you go to a workout with them. It's like, I'm not going to be doing handstand pushups and stuff like that and keeping pace with them. So this gym's like phenomenal at scaling programming for the average person or people, you know, to figure out a workout that's good for them. Yeah. And I was like, to be quite frank, like, you know, I wanted to tell them this a long time ago.

I just, you know, never got around to it. To be quite frank, I wanted to tell them this a long time ago. I just never got around to it. I was like, even if I move, if you guys set up the webcams like you do now, I would do a home gym and do this workout with you guys and still pay for my membership. Because I want to support people who are helping other people or small businesses and stuff like that if I can. Because to be quite frankly, I don't want to think about what I'm cooking or what I'm doing in a workout. Those are like two decisions I really don't like making at the end of the day. So it's like, I'll eat whatever let's, you know, get it. It's like, I'll go to the gym. I don't want to know what the workout is. Cause I'll find a way to like, ah, my arm's hurting today. Maybe I shouldn't go for that one or whatever. It's like,

no, show up, do the work, leave. Good. good yeah i don't think i've ever had a relationship like that with my gym and or any gym i've been a part of i'm not part of one right now and uh but i see where you're coming from you try it's about the people for you to me it's just you know like in terms of service is not provided it's like yeah it's one of the first that you can't close your doors and keep billing me. Yeah. No, I get it. Like globo gyms and stuff like that. I totally understand that.

Um, but they did seem really clever. Like it's like, Hey, Hey, take this medicine ball home with you. Take these dumbbells home with you. That guy's not canceling.

The guy's absolutely. They're also doing online programming too. So it's like, we're setting up webcams like this. And then everybody, but there's a group of like 30 people doing the same workout with the equipment that they took home and everything which is kind of fun and i don't know it's kind of cool it's like that peloton thing to a different level there's a

business opportunity here for setting up like i mentioned before that i think conferences where one person addresses more than half a dozen or so are probably bad right you'd be better off with just quality video and like getting that show aspect right then something like e3 e3 should be a web show that I watch not a conference they want me to go to so okay I think there's an opportunity there using this coronavirus as the catalyst to change the way that sort of thing is done i think e3 benefits from that uh in-person thing because so many uh influencers get to lay hands on the product so many journalists and stuff like that you know yeah and they get to feel important you know they get schmoozed with the gift gift bags and stuff like that too you know it was at way back in the day like call of

duty did the um the the jeep experience or whatever whenever it was uh at call of duty xp over in uh marina delray or whatever and it's like you're driving people around and all that stuff and they had the uh what's the burger joint set up there oh yeah yeah yeah from call of duty i can't think of it yeah they had paintball and everything yeah that was called uh cod xp was crazy that year yeah i competed in that event now it's such a big prestigious thing for the million dollar payout and stuff in the first one you had to earn your way into it by winning like an online competition just doing really well and there was a guy who was a fan of mine who was like you know

like I'll pick up Woody and T-Mart and another guy who was a really good player and him who was also a really good player and we'll compete against Optic and those guys we didn't win laughter

laughter but it's still like it didn't win but it's still it didn't go too well but it's still a thing like I can't believe I was in the like COD XP

tournament if we just needed to win like a round or two to get in the money which would have been really a neat thing for me and I think we

I'm describing round wrong like we did win a game or so, but we didn't get to the next round. Remember how lame that VIP room was? The upstairs one, right? Yeah. I remember... Who was the pretty

blonde girl who likes Apple things? I think she dated off to... Justine? Justine, yeah. Justine made a mistake. She called a team the wrong name or something, and I was with her in the VIP room, and she was beating herself up hard about it. And it's like, this is okay.

No one's going to care about this by tomorrow. You know? Yeah. In terms of dog houses. She was dating Ryan at the time, I think. Yep. I mess people's names up. But yeah, yeah.

But yeah, that was how I met I Justine. She was having a down moment in the vip room i remember that vip room was lame i don't know why i was allowed in the vip room but but i was and i just remember thinking like i don't feel very vip how far do you go back to competitive gaming then what do you like because i remember i remember going to blockbuster playing way back in the day when you had regional qualifiers and you had to do it on like in in store like it was mario or something and like so like as a regional qualifier got like a little blockbuster pin thing that said that you qualify but i couldn't afford to go to fucking california or wherever it was for them to do the There was a period in my life where I didn't

game very much because I went to, I worked during the day and went to school at night and then when I graduated I kind of returned to gaming with my extra time. I think that occurred in that window where I didn't have time. Where the fuck is Taylor? World War Z. World War Z?

Is he gone longer than I was just going? Yeah, he's taking the biggest shit ever or something over there I hope we get photos I don't Kyle's like, this is my food Taylor's like, this is my food six hours later Oh gosh I'm really wanting to watch this video

That's why you're anxious Which one is the next topic? The salt fitness one or i was just sending you that because you mentioned that uh that oh yeah bike that's a really cool treadmill have you ever been on them no how did what why was this bike cool to you how can an exercise bike be made neater um so i don't know i've got a weird weird personality. Um, the, every gym, every CrossFit gym that I've been into, everybody hates the assault bike. Everybody hates wall balls. So I like, because everybody, I hear so many people complain about them.

I make myself do it for the first 10, 15 minutes every single day as like a warm-up going into stretching and everything so it becomes the thing that I love oh the peloton yeah so like the uh salt bike I just I go to town on it like I can I'll burn out 50 calories in a minute um which is pretty insane like you like your whole body wants to shut down afterwards but i love it numbers are so small right like although i got an advantage i burn off sometimes like a fraction of a snicker you know like an eighth of one yeah yeah and it's i mean that's like a pound an hour at his rate yeah when you do start counting those on any type of you know fitness device or whatever you're like oh damn dude like that's not even a candy bar i remember doing the fucking uh fitness challenge we did a year and a half ago or whatever and like riding for four hours on that bike and

then like looking at the estimated calorie amount and being like then looking at a goldfish nutrition label and be like no no no that can't be right you would do this so you tell me if i were to have three handfuls of this it would negate everything yeah like the hardest workout ever and you'd burn you'd burn 1200 calories and it was just like wow yeah you guys do the whoop or anything no what is that i've never heard of it um it's a it's a heart rate variability monitor and i think rogan and a bunch of other people have too the the biggest thing on that is like seeing how much your sleep's affected by different things in how you're working out but more importantly like alcohol we did that we did that full like chest band thing the my fitness thing yeah my zone yeah i did that last year and so i i will say this like uh i'll geek out on that stuff

because i was i was wearing like three heart rate monitors last year, trying to figure out which one I liked the best. And so for me, like the, the my zone, because it's, it, it, it's on your chest. I actually, I, I damaged the cartilage in between my rib and had to go to like hospitals here in, in San Antonio. And they thought that they were like, gonna, I had like a, um, uh, uh, hemangioma on my liver and like, I was going to have to have a surgery and all this other shit. I had like four IVs in the span of like a few days. It was a crazy ordeal. And then I go to, I fly out to LA to go to, you know, the hepatology department out there.

And they're like, oh no, dude, you just got like, it looks like you had some blunt force trauma on your rib there. You tore an ab muscle. And it was like from doing burpees with that my zone on and box jumps. And so I just, I just dropped to the ground and hit it. And I think that's what ended up doing it. But the competitive aspect to my zone is it's epic because you're competing against yourself and other people and so after after one month after six months after a year you're hitting all these milestones and it makes you like even during that time when i was injured and they told me don't do anything i'm like bro i gotta get my meps for the month because i'm not i'm not losing my my status right for a year worth of work. We destroyed Rogan.

We destroyed Rogan. Rogan was talking so much shit about like, oh yeah, I work out for six hours a day, this and that. The fire alarm goes off. I sweat so much. We broke his one month thing in like ten days.

Joe, that's not how fire alarms work. It wasn't even close. We destroyed Rogan. You don't even close. It was destroyed. You don't work out so hard that a fire alarm goes off. Unless you let your fucking pants on fire in the middle of your burpees. My theory is he's working out, he's sweating like crazy, and he's also hot boxing. He's hot boxing in that room. He's like, it was probably the sweat not this smoke

he acted like he acted like an 800 map day was like some olympian level shit and we would do we would do 1500 i was doing that much like i was doing here's the thing were you taking it off though like because we would limit ourselves sometimes sometimes not you know like like i would try to wear i would try to get as many cheap maps as i could um but and but it didn't really account to a bunch like mostly during the workouts though it would it would just get 12 1500 maps like like because yeah kyle danced his way to victory or we would do nothing but like work out like all fucking day like like i i fucked my ankle up like like three weeks in or something like that it made a clicking noise and it was just hurting i was uh but i would i would do

nothing but sleep and work out it was awful i was so i destroyed that thing i beat it to death with a hammer i threw it away i just threw the the initial one away and the one that they sent me after the initial one didn't work yeah i destroyed it coming home like from meetings and being busy all day and just being like work out it'll get me feeling right oh yeah we're doing this mep thing let me open the app yeah and then it just seeing you uh woody and chiz just like that day and just be like all right well i guess i going to watch 15 episodes of King of the Hill while I'm on a bike and drink so much fucking Gatorade shit that I get in my eyes. I hated it so much. I hated it so fucking much. The chest strap and everything.

At the gym, they were like, you're back? You were just here this afternoon. I'm like, yeah, I know. I know. I got to win a competition. So stand back. Fucking off. of competition so stand back fucking off so that's the thing i like about woop though is it it's a three-prong approach right where you do have the workout aspect of it but you have sleep and you

have recovery so the idea is that you want all three points on the the grid to be lined up so that you're you're gaining the the most amount of performance growth out of the system and everything so if you go hard in the paint and you're not sleeping or you're not recovering you're doing more atrophy damage than you are like actually getting better um but the thing is there's no competitive aspect to it so i'm like ah fuck it i'll take three weeks there's a guy in raleigh who's just out sleeping. As long as I sleep, I'm good. This guy is a master sleeper.

It's 4pm, for Christ's sakes. How can I compete with Woody? We get in these groups and I've got some of these high-level athletes, competitive CrossFit Games athletes and stuff in some of

your groups and um and so some of us don't even know each other that we're competing against but other people have invited on them still relatively small some groups are like 10 15 people but uh all of them were asking about me they're like who the fuck is this richard ryan guy and how is he in college who sleeps 15 hours let's uh let's watch the indian police fighting the coronavirus wait so where's this at? Which link is it? 9.30 p.m. 9.39? Oh, that's Richard? Public Freakout? I found it for sure.

Yep. Wait, I don't see it. Scroll up. 9.30 exactly. It's right above the link you made. Oh, Public Freakout. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Is sound needed for this?

I assume there's no... Yeah, you're going to want some sound. No music here. All right, I'm ready. Everyone, ready, set, play. It's caning. Look at this guy who's close to the camera. He's in so much pain. Adi, Adi.

Adi, Adi. These guys are out after curfew. Jesus. These guys are out after curfew. Jesus. They're saying, Corona! Corona! Corona!

You got those fucking like Indian headdress turban things on? Yeah, cheeks. Is that legit because of Corona? They were yelling Corona. Yeah, because they left after curfew. They're supposed to be at home. Dude, India has a very, very class-based society. They're whooping the shit out of them with that cane. Those are hardly even people they're hitting, right?

Yeah, caste society. I'm trying to describe their thought process. No, in the eyes of society what he's right yeah they're like they've said they've gotten rid of the caste system and i think they've gotten rid of some of the like they made it so that the lower caste can get into colleges and stuff like that and maybe even some um quotas but it still exists it's still a big part of who they are and how they behave and you know it's interesting to see them like begging like i'm sorry i'm sorry and maybe a few more whacks and you'll get it that's why it's so funny when like high caste indians immigrate here and the first thing some of them will do is be like this country is the ultimate

evil it is so much inequality and it's horrible and this is this whole country is just white supremacy yeah and it's like yeah like there's a there's a couple like in indian americans in media blue checks on twitter where everything is about how the u.s is white supremacists and everything and it's like wait you you come from like a multi-millionaire family that came here after stomping on the heads of lower caste indians for probably a couple thousand years you know a couple hundred years like where the fuck do you get off yeah that's different than my experience personally uh you know of course it's small no this isn't about most indians this is about a couple that i found on twitter where

i was just like do you realize where you came from mine's about the couple i worked with so i'm not pretending to have my thumb on the broad pulse and average indian not like that at all these aren't average indians though right like everyone i work with came from an upper class right if you are from india and you went to college usually a top college and then you went to america on h1b because you work for infosys or one of these top companies that sends you here you probably were not an untouchable class, right? That's the bottom class. They all had servants, multiple servants. And this blows me away. And I was like, socially, how do you have servants?

I'm like, do you just like ring a bell every time you want sweet tea? Like I would have a hard time even doing that. And they act like, what? No, no, you have to treat them with respect and i'm like so did you pick up your clothes well no no that's what they're for and i'm like how is like asking them to get you did you answer the door when someone rang the bell no that's a servant's and i'm like where does it begin where does it end how do you have a servant's task. And I'm like, where does it begin? Where does it end? How do you have a servant around?

Do you walk around the house in your underwear? There's servants all the time. Just like handling shit. And they're like, what do you make such a big deal out of having man servants note on you all the time? It's not that weird. Woody, my friend, it is not that weird. In America, you remember slavery. It was kind of like a slightly nicer version of this yeah i yeah and like um their servants stole from them a lot and that was like one of

the big qualifications in a service that's how you get caned finding someone who didn't steal for you but they also kind of understood it they're like well they're really really broke so the temptation to just take something off the counter or the you know sofa table is really strong for them with the amount we are paying them i can deal with a few lost earrings pretty much basically yeah well they get fired for it but like they also didn't like you know obviously they're gonna take years we'll employ them until they don't i the whole servant thing blew me away. And contrary to your experience, mine was like they kind of thought that India was really fucked.

The airports that they took there, you'd fly over like a shanty town of some sort. And the contrast would be night and day between the rich and the – Like looking at North Korea and South Korea on those aerial photos. America has no poor, they told me. And I'm like, what? They're like, yeah. Even the cheapest, like the most broke Americans have apartments and cars.

Everyone here can afford a magazine subscription. Like there's no full-time employed American who doesn't do these things. Now I'm sure there are. But to them, they're like, poor is, you know, those people who work for $3 a things. Now, I'm sure there are. But to them, they're like, poor is those people who work for $3 a day. Poor is relative,

especially when you're comparing India. But I should say that wasn't, it's not a personal experience I have with Indians. It's just literally like three or four on Twitter I've seen where it's like, you just talking shit. Everyone in America can afford restaurant food. Even if that restaurant is McDonald's, people here can buy restaurant food. In India, that's not the case. Yeah,

I wouldn't want to go to Indian restaurants every day anyway. Oh, just a quick thing before we go on to the rest. I realized because I'm getting more tweets, people asking about my brother, that I should probably say it on PKA as well. I know I went over on a PKN and people already mentioned it. So basically, the reason I missed last week's PKA after the first 30 minutes or so, my brother, a few weeks ago, fell, hit his head, broke his leg, very bad head injury. A couple of weeks out of the hospital, suddenly starts not making sense,

not able to string words together properly. He had expressive aphasia, which is like you know what you want to say, but you can't get the words out. You can't say what you want to say. He got fixated on a couple of different sayings where I'd ask him like, hey, how are you feeling today? When I was visiting him in the hospital or what's new, are you taking drugs? And he would start a sentence and then default to like a couple of little phrases where he'd be like, oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And just say stuff like that. Even though he wasn't trying to say, I'm fine. He was trying to say what, you know, yeah, this sucks. I hate it here. He was complaining to me

afterward being like, yeah, dude, it was horrifying being in a prison of your own body and your own mind. Can't say anything. And I was like, yeah, that sounds fucking terrible. But basically I was, I knew about all that, his difficulty expressing himself. I had visited him earlier in the hospital last Thursday when we were recording. And then 30 minutes into the episode, I got a call from my mom who was there with him saying that he suffered a severe seizure. And so I hopped off the episode, didn't come back to that one, obviously. Since then though, very, very positive news. Very, very positive. I talked to him today on the phone and yesterday, I'm talking to him every day for at least like 30, 45 minutes just chatting because I can't see him right now because I'm quarantined.

And he is totally with it now. He's speaking correctly. Even what I said on Twitter where he was still having trouble with stuttering and mispronouncing things, that's pretty much gone now. He sounds like he's totally back to normal. He's still on drugs though. It is a head injury, so you can't know how these things are going to pan out like it could go right back like that hopefully it won't because the brain swelling is going down so i just want to say thank you to everybody out there on twitter and reddit and who has been really really kind and understanding about it it means a lot uh and i thought you guys deserved an update so there you go when he had the swelling and the trouble did it was it accompanied with headaches oh yeah yeah he was yeah. As he was going into the hospital

when my mom was driving him, she said he was screaming because the headaches were so severe. Holding his head, not able to articulate anything, not able to say anything, just freaking the fuck out about how much his head hurt. And his worst expressive language problems were a couple days long, right? Like four or five days with headaches during that whole time. The headaches weren't as severe as when it started, but he was still having headaches and the hospital had him on pills, but like, yeah, he couldn't, couldn't speak correctly.

The words were just a mishmash for the most part, except for a couple staples like, thank you. I'm sorry. I'm fine. Stuff like that. And his writing, like I'd ask him to write down a word or a letter because like i was still like my brother was in there like we're shooting the shit joking around like we always do like like being fun and i gave him a pencil and paper and was like all right right uh you know because he was doing practice like he got his name down he learned he relearned to write st louis and blues and like simple words and like

asking him to like all right write a write Arizona and like or write Chicago. And he would like write one letter and then look at me. I'd be like, yeah, yes. C starts with C. He's like, OK, but H. Yeah, you got that. I G. And I was like, no, no, you missed one.

He would like look at me like flabbergasted, like, no, this. Really? And I'm like, yeah, you're saying Shigeko you're saying shigeko it's not shigeko it's chicago and he was like you told this story before i was with your brother on that one you need every letter and in the right order. And I also, because I was going to the hospital, like I got to kind of see the rolling out of their coronavirus precautions. One person in, one person out. And now at least,

I'm pretty sure it's nationwide for the most part in most states, but here for sure, no visitors whatsoever for any patients unless they're pediatric. If it's not a child, you cannot go. visitors whatsoever for any patients unless they're pediatric. If it's not a child, you cannot go.

Some women are giving birth by themselves like the husband's not allowed in level of containment. Hospitals are locking the fuck down. Well, except instead of having a nice cigar, watching Bob Hope, you're not trying not to contract a disease.

Not as fun. know tomato tomato the old days were like i have to see that anyway very very stressful week uh last week especially but it very happy to see everything looking up it always hits home for me because your brother had problems with what they call expressive language and then came out of it and talks about the hell. Colin's receptive language has always outrun his expressive language. And sometimes he gets those frustrations too. He always blames us. He's like, you're hearing the wrong words. And it's like,

yeah, like it's me, bro. Right? Colin, miss me with that shit. You just finally go off but uh there's frustration in him sometimes too where you know it's like you're not getting it and it's like actually like your expressive language is trailing behind your receptive yeah where you are yeah it's a a real scary thing. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't express myself the way I want to. A hundred percent of my living

comes from my ability to talk. I'm fucked. I'm fucked because of what I am. Yeah, yeah. You're on the far side of the bell curve in your expressive language. Fuck, you can pick accents. This is a very high IQ endeavor I am doing now. Just on the Indian thing ever since that clip. God, that...

We need our own police out there caning people for not obeying. Oh, they get shot! Yeah. Stop resisting! caning people for not obeying oh they get shot oh yeah stop resisting you know you stop just blowing people's heads off at times square because they wanted to fucking falafel or something yeah this is crazy it's it's blowing my mind every morning when i wake up where it's like holy shit like the richest country in the history of the world. And we're all on lockdown for the most part right now. I have a very difficult time keeping my finger on the pulse of the reality of it.

Like, I literally know no one personally who has Corona. Zippo, right? The closest I can come to is Tom Hanks. So in some ways, it feels like much ado about nothing. In other ways, this is the most polar opposite of nothing that I've ever experienced in my lifetime right this apparently is this big super deal my

Facebook feed fucking whacked right like people all over the man let me read what one of my friends wrote today to you all right this will take me I think a lot of that will change this week if any of this bullshit were true and i mean any of it as i said before grocery stores would be like morgues the stores would be desperately trying to replace lost staffed and and and and but of course they're all fine capitalization quadruple exclamation points they're all fine! Capitalization, quadruple exclamation points. They're all fine because they're poster children for good health?

Hardly. Are you thinking yet before it's a crime? Did you notice that every time you leave the house, everyone and everything is fine? Can you tell the difference between news and a movie? You know what they say about being bamboozled in humble pie, right? In all caps, there is no virus. There are no viruses. Health is an inside job forever and always.

He believes that this is an actual crazy person. Absolute retard. That is mind-blowing. This guy, actually, this guy's kind of cool because he doesn't even say, it's just the flu he goes there is no virus there are no viruses there is no

and I have friends who work in hospitals nurses and they'll tell you there are no viruses they're all in on the scam they're all in on the fucking scam also birds aren't real I'm told no they certainly don't on the fucking scam. Also, birds aren't real, I'm told. No, they certainly don't fuck.

Are you aware of this? Birds aren't real either. They're battery powered and that's why they stand on telephone lines to recharge. You'll find no ancient depictions of birds. None. This is actually a fact. The Egyptians with

bird gods? Not true. No. Those are modern creations. The Egyptians with bird gods? Not true. No. No. Those are modern creations. The ancient Sumerians with bird gods? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Not real.

Much like geology, they just planted old things on archaeological sites. All right. Some guy's sneaking in there with a triceratops horn to throw it in a pit and then pretend to dust it off the next morning. The least lucrative scam to ever have been committed. Yeah, that's pretty cool, Dr. Steve, but

we're still not paying you more than $48,000. Fuck. I will tell you, though, if you are friends with any nurses or people in the healthcare profession, they will tell you this is not a nothing. It's getting real quickly. Very quickly. It's going to get bad. Space is not a real thing, I'm told. I've heard a lot of good people, a lot of smart people talking about it.

Think of how much money we're going to save on Space Force. It's not even real. Have you ever looked up? It's just sky. I went outside a minute ago. The sky is clearer than it normally is. It's a crescent moon tonight, but I could still see the whole thing. Yeah, it's because of lack of pollution ever since we shut down industry. I think Atlanta is less polluted than it normally is. I really think the sky is clearer tonight. I know that.

Yeah, because they had the aerials of uh china that's where i was going yeah yeah they also had a big contrast the most stars i've ever seen was out there uh at the ox ranch i think i think i think that's the farthest i've ever been from anything brighter than a fucking yard light yeah the low humidity i am i've told this before but one of the earliest times i fell in love i was on this whitewater rafting trip in the Grand Canyon, like down the, I think it's the Colorado River. I thought you were going to say the one that you were with me. The first time you fell in love was three years ago?

And it was Kyle. Does Jackie know? No, I was 15-ish or something. But we spent the night looking at the stars. There must have been, without exaggerating, 30 or 50 shooting stars that night. We kept seeing them. And you could see every star. You could see like nebula.

That's what the cloudy things are, I think, maybe. Anyway, it was an amazing thing. And I think that it – what are they called? Is it not nebula? Am I crazy? maybe anyway it was an amazing thing and i think that it what do they call it is it not nebula am i crazy i think what you're seeing when you see that is um you're looking you're looking at the milky way you know it's it's a spinning disc and you're looking into it you're actually seeing like the depth of it i don't know if you can see nebula with your naked eye but but but hey i don't know but i could see the grassy tyson i i've uh i saw things that I've never seen on the East Coast before,

and I'm told that it's the low humidity that lets you see. Oh, and of course, the complete lack of light pollution. Light pollution. I have another video here. Okay. I got it queued up. It's called, You Got a Problem? Question mark, question mark.

Did you timestamp this? No, it should be be just start from the beginning so I was like man the last four seconds must be good audio yes yeah any backstory needed for this or just we're in Philadelphia

alright there we go ready set play I give it 30 seconds i mean what time is this fucking i always i always i'm worried about the music oh they're just hanging out two cars in front blocking yeah they're just hanging out. Two cars in front blocking traffic. Yeah, they're just chilling. What an asshole.

It's definitely been 30 seconds. Okay. Yo! Oh, he gave him the finger. Not the middle finger, but like the weight. Yo! Get his fucking number, bro! I gotta get to work!

That's fair. Yo, dude! Hang on a minute. I'm gonna deal with this guy. The fuck, dude? Yo, get your boyfriend's number, dude. I gotta get to work. What's the problem?

Yeah, I gotta pry it. Oh, that's cute. That's cute. He's got his fucking TRP stuck in his pants. Between yours and mine is? I'm fucking registered, asshole. Yeah, so when I blow your brains out, the cops are gonna high-five me. Move your fucking shit, or I'm gonna get out and kill you.

This guy. Yes, he's moving. And he added bitch in there. Wow. That was a nice pistol that the gangster had there. Tell me, what did you see? He's got a 1911. I think that's the TRP, the tactical response pistol.

The driver, he was in a holster. I couldn't see anything. Ah, who fucking knows? Yeah, he had it in a soft holster. Yeah. You know the difference between mine and yours? Mine's registered. When I blow your head off, the cops are going to high-five off the cops it's cute move your shit before i beat the shit out of you with it you can see you can see that that guy with the the gangster guy with the gun was like oh shit he's right

i should get out of here that's a good clip i like fucking asshole what a fucking alpha that guy the guy in the car alpha guy's like i got a gun he's like god let's have a shootout you know i gotta get to work bro i gotta get to work yeah the video starts off with like, it has to have been 30 seconds. You started overheating at 15, I suspect. Yeah, he was like, I usually give him 30 seconds. I give him 30, you know. Get your boyfriend's number and go.

Yeah, get your boyfriend's. He liked that line so much he used it twice. I know. I'm not letting that gold line go unappreciated yeah that's a great clip that guy's awesome cool guy of the week so far for sure uh i don't know joe joe exotic i think is our cool guy no doc the guy with the with the six bitches and i'm having a hard time getting over indian cane dude indian cane dude there's so many indian cane dudes i could link you indian cane dudes from now to the end of the show

indian police are corrupt as fuck my my co-workers at cisco wouldn't call the police because they would rob you he's like now you've been robbed twice yeah they they would be mad at you for calling them if you were burgled i think that is the word burglarized i think i don't know i'm not gonna whatever i prefer burgled all right so uh uh yeah they were they were saying the police are just like another problem like you you have a problem with the crook now you have two problems because you have the police there too. They just wouldn't deal with it. I've seen people getting lashings in the streets of India. They'll make them get down and do push-ups,

and while they're doing it, they'll lash them in the ass. And then the next guy will come up and start doing his push-ups, and he'll get a lash in the ass. And the lash is like something out of like fucking, what's that movie with uh that mel gibson did passion of christ yeah they got like a fucking like it's like five it's not a nine tails it's not a cat of nine tails but there's like it's it's it's not floppy but it's not stiff it's somewhere in between with like four four like leather strout like semi-erect

and they swing it hard as fuck. They are not holding back a bit. These guys are clearly in pain. You could tell that one guy we watched earlier, he's just like, please no more. Please. And they gave him like five more. I am so really sorry for being up past curfew.

I am so sorry. Let me go back to my way. It's like four o'clock in the afternoon. Am I the only one that saw him not so much as in pain as, like, submissive? I thought it was a combination of both. I think the pain made him submissive. That's what I was getting, too. I was getting both.

He was giving lip until he caught that cane to the back of the thighs. I thought he was just playing the role he was expected to play. Like, if this hurts me so much, no more. Whereas if he were to say, like, I don't give a fuck about your caning, they'd double down on it. Yeah, he'd get double caned, triple caned. I think I need to show you some more canings then, so that you understand that everyone has a similar reaction

to a good old-fashioned caning. You know who loves caning? Here we go. Here we go. Here's the people getting lashed. Here's a good lashing in the streets of whoever,

wherever. Mumbai. Ooh. That's a freak out. Armed forces. You love going back to this well. It's where, it's my homepage.

Armed forces, armed forces members apply punishment to those disrespecting the COVID-19 quarantine and curfew in Peru. Interesting. Armed Forces in Peru. Ready, set, play. That looks like an Indiana Jones whip.

Uno. Te fuiste. Te fuiste. Te fuiste. Te fuiste. Take the fucking card. Oh, God. He knows what's coming. Your turn, Jordan. Dude, that's that classic Peruvian efficiency.

Thank you. Let the first guy do like three push-ups and then the rest they're like, no, just kind of like square up. And then get the hell out of here. I'm watching one in Ecuador right now. They catch this guy out after quarantine. They cut his man bun off. Oh, look at that. That's hilarious.

Oh, snap. This is just humiliation. Look at this. God, I need this kind of street justice in my country. I'm at zero. Oh, okay. You linked it and I didn't spot your link right away. I mean, they're doing him a favor.

Honestly? Yeah. Ready? Ready. Set. Play. Ready, set, play. He's like, wait, what? Yeah, give me that shit.

Yeah. How you like that? We'll cut your shit off with some safety scissors. He's just got scissors on hand? Stolen from the local kindergarten. It hurts extra bad because they dull. Get it off!

Yeah, they cut the video too soon, but I have faith that they made it through. Oh, that cop was not stopping. Those guys persevere. Are they going to have federal crackdowns, like legal repercussions at some point, do you think, where it's like, hey, fucking $700 fine

if we catch you out after... I saw a guy who was found positive and then he did not obey quarantine. They're charging with attempted murder in America. Oh, that guy's here in St. Louis. Yeah, he's the one who fucking ruined it for all of us well i mean it would have got here eventually but that bastard fucking caught it in chicago came back here was told to quarantine then he went with his daughter

to uh a dance at like whitfield or visit one of those really really hoity-toity rich kid schools where it's like of course they think they're above the law. They probably cost thirty five thousand dollars to send your kid there for a year, like beyond rich level private schools. And then he went to like some like business event in St. Les. That guy, I hope he does get put in jail for something because that's not cool at all. Well, you know, the before I guess before we had any confirmed cases here, they had that cruise ship that they had quarantined all those people. Well, they flew them here to San Antonio at Lackland Air Force Base.

And there weren't enough tests to run on everyone who wasn't showing symptoms. And so this one chick, they ended up finally getting around to testing, but she wasn't showing symptoms or whatever, so they just released them. And first thing she does, go to the fucking mall and Chick-fil-A and everything. The test comes back positive, so they have to shut the malls down. You guys will get to watch real time what coronavirus does

because I am going to end up getting it. It's pretty much inevitable because my friend's line of work that i am gonna get coronavirus and so we're all getting it kyle says maybe i'll die maybe i won't tune in i thought there's no cure for this and everyone that gets it gives it to three to ten more people so it's just going to spread through the society until uh the second time around you get it won't be a big deal because you're just like aids just like aids folks all the well this is a little we're all gonna get it this is a little more widespread than aids a little little easier to contract says you well i mean i mean well we we Well, we have different lifestyles. So that is true.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be like a scary thing about it is all of the research is coming out and being like, yeah, kind of what Richard said earlier about even if you don't get it horribly, you can get scar tissue in your lung. Like your pulmonary system can get fucked. They're saying that it can affect your fertility and your reproductive system. Oh, wait a minute. Taylor not just to have kids kyle about testosterone production things like that like and so fixed yeah i'd rather not have to though my balls i've been doing a they're working overtime my whole life oh yeah i guess he's turned nine who doesn't like some big ball i wish they were smaller my pants would fit better well i mean i i then

contract some coronavirus i suppose i don't know if it makes your balls smaller i know it probably makes them worse at making testosterone and and sperm but your balls get smaller when you take tea what do i need that's the route he took yeah which brings me to one of our ama questions this week kyle you have such a great relationship with your dad. Why don't you want to have that with your own son someday? Look. Look. Let me level with you here.

My dad's got five kids. He has a good relationship with me. 20% of the time you get this kind of magic. And that's just in his unique scenario, right? I'm awesome, okay? That's why he and I have a good relationship, because I'm so cool. I don't want any fucking kids.

And I've gone through the list of reasons. Way too expensive. You can buy a Ferrari. Kid or Ferrari, kid or Ferrari, kid or Ferrari. Eh, Ferrari. They're pieces of shit. They shit. Get a fucking exotic. I'd much rather have a tiger.

I certainly was. $3,000 a year to feed a tiger? What do you think it costs to run a kid? I imagine Taylor's like, Kyle's not making any sense right now. He should have a monkey. Yeah. Get a monkey. Get a monkey.

I have no interest in having a capuchin monkey. You can put one of those Aladdin hats on him like the Shriners wear. Trust me, there's been... I don't think it's a close call. I've taken a few of these little fellas out already. Alright? I'm not stopping it, too.

Whatever it takes. I bet I could train a little monkey to use a little lawnmower. And I'm not politically correct about it either. Oh, I'm pro-choice. No, you're pro baby killing. And I'm on board with that. I don't like it. I'm a pro-choice. I've trained several

little humans. You're pro baby murder. And so am I. Alright? Welcome to PKA. What was the meme here recently about the GOP? Pro-life podcast. Where they're like, oh, we premier pro-life podcast Where they're like We're pro-life except for when it comes to Grandma and the coronavirus

Let's get the economy going back again Yeah My line has always been I'm kind of in the middle With politics I'm pro-abortion But I think you should be allowed to use a gun to do it If you but I think you should be allowed to use a gun to do it if you want.

I think I'm pro-abortion. It's a tiny anti-baby gun that goes in through the belly button. Remember that pistol that the Joker had in the original Batman movie? Where he like pulls it out of his pants and the barrel's eight feet long?

I'm fine with abortion as long as it's the man who impregnated her that gets the final say yeah he should be the determining factor he should decide and he should be able to decide just like Commodus and Gladiator he just comes in and he's like oh really yeah

no no Joaquin Phoenix I absolutely have no interest in having a child and I like the having the son who has a father relationship I don't want to be on the other end of that he got the raw end of this deal

right like you said you're so cool that's a joke but like he got the raw end of this deal i mean he seems very happy with it we love each other very much but you know i got the guy you know take looking out for me taking care of me and teaching me how to do all kinds of cool shit and helping me out all through my life and he just got a lot of heartache and stress and and money it's all sorts of costs hospital trips and visits and teacher conferences and and and all sorts of shit was there any more was there a day that you dreaded more as a young

kid when you knew that you had been misbehaving in class and like my like i was always like a like loud in class like talking with friends and being kind of a smart mouth and stuff. And I would always dread that. I'm going to be like, all right, we're going to your parent-teacher conference. Just sitting at home trying to distract myself playing Pokemon Snap on the NCC. Yeah, we had a different viewpoint there. I didn't give a fuck. My dad was on my team when he went in there with that six foot three cunt Miss Evans,

fourth grade teaching fucking whore of a bitch. You had a six foot three woman be your teacher? Yeah. Miss Evans, you fucking cunt whore. My fifth grade teacher. Big ups to Miss Evans. Told my parents. Hope you get the corona, you old whore.

Bet you're already dead, bitch. I hope. I hope. I dead, bitch. I hope. I hope. I hope it hurt. I hope a tiger kills you. I hope you have a car accident and the gasoline's dripping and you're all bloody and trying to crawl out. And then that wire that you always see in the movies, like sparks. That live wire.

Yeah. And then you burn up like a fucking, in a towering, oh, you guys won't get that. I hope she has enough time to experience fear when she sees her inevitable oh yes i want there to be lots of fear she was a real bitch she would just she didn't like me it was clear it wasn't she was like so much to like there was a there was a parent teacher conference once because i flushed a urinal with my foot what everybody they're covered in piss they're covered in piss and i exclusively do that he flushed the urinal with his foot dad's like i just went in there and took a piss myself i did too have you been in there where i played ice hockey they were always ripping off

because people flushed him with a fucking skate oh yeah kicking it way too hard i i've said it before on the show so i'll keep it fast but i remember i didn't get in trouble for it because no one ever found out but i still remember first day of fucking kindergarten going in asking if i could use the bathroom going to the bathroom going in a stall to to pee because for some reason i don't think i had urinals in there and going in and just pissing all over the top of the toilet and the side walls of the stall and in my head I'm five years old my head thought over and over was big boys do what they want

this is how big boys pee I remember my mom just always pumping me up and being being like oh you're a big boy now you're going to kindergarten and i was like i took that to heart and i was like hell yeah big boys do what they want even like shortly i got i got scolded the first day of kindergarten for saying penis i didn't i got taken out in the hallway and and mrs mrs masterson I think it was came out and like told me we don't say that word here and I was like penis and she's like yes Taylor I know it's your first day but you do not say I just remember like like Anthony I'm gonna go piss all over the walls like a big boy I want to jump in it's funny that you guys all

have this idea that your teachers were assholes that Kyle's dad came in there and said, they're wrong. It's okay to... No, it was me. No, it was the consensus. It was the teacher. Year after year. I have more examples. It was me. Year after year, all of my teachers like... It wasn't that I was... Well, okay, my second grade teacher literally thought I was

retarded, might belong in special needs classes. My fifth grade teacher said, you know, he seems smart, but he's like worst student i've had in 32 years of teaching wow a record yeah right i just didn't get on with the program like they'd want they'd want me to do things and i just choose not to yeah i would finish my work and then there would be nothing else to do and then i so i'd have to entertain myself so like we were doing some kind of project with glue right we're gluing fucking i don't know shit on poster board and i had seen this thing on the internet or the internet didn't exist then so i don't know a tv or something where you put glue on your hands and it dries

and it makes those gloves yes you sort of peel off the glove and so i was doing that parent teacher conference gotta have a parent teacher conference because i put glue on his heel off the glove. And so I was doing that. Parent-teacher conference. Gotta have a parent-teacher conference because how about glue on his hands? Meanwhile, Anthony's in the floor rolling around in front of the door on the mat being ignored because he just wants

attention. Meanwhile, Anthony is now in prison for a hammer kidnapping and I only did two months suck it anthony uh what were you gonna ask reggie to me um if you kept any of your report cards or anything because that was something that uh i love going back like whenever anytime i go back home or hang out with you know family or whatever is going through some of those old report cards like like same situation where the teachers were like you know i i completely hated this one teacher miss birchfield or whatever but it was just like richard's such a smart student but he he insists

on talking to other kids in the class across the classroom during class and whatever I know I used to get in trouble so much that like I had a desk in the principal's office Mr. James it was really funny because I knew nothing about sports but by the time I left elementary school because he was a Kentucky alum I knew everything about Kentucky basketball because I had a desk in there and he had like all these like programs and stuff like that which is kind of funny it was like it wasn't the the worst experience for me but i remember that just kind of sticking out because we'll go through the the report cards and everything and just look at the behavior uh that'd be i wish we had done that i do know this i've said this before but so we got four report cards a year and then every quarter there'd be a midterm thing and you'd

only get updates if they were they're called deficiency reports. So if you were like on track to fail something or if you were exhibiting some sort of problem, they'd send you a deficiency report. That meant I never went one eighth of a school year without some sort of negative feedback from my classes. Every year, like my entire entire life certainly through all of high school but more than that like you know eighth grade and shit like always every eighth of a year they'd be like what are you fucking at school damn see i i probably got in trouble at school less than any of you over overall like serious trouble i really i never i don't think i got detention a single time no suspension or high

school never got suspended oh yeah i i did not get suspended i would just get i would get in trouble for like just talking in class and being loud and that was mostly just to shut up taylor kind of thing i remember i got a pink slip once which was like they're like you got two of these and you get detention and and it was because the spanish teacher sent me and this girl out and was like i i forgot uh or like uh senor taylor senora christine will you go get the flash cards out of the last class i taught in and we went out and something like got a hair up whatever i don't fucking know i didn't learn anything like mrs i absolutely sat next to a kid that knew spanish really well and looked off of his test every single time and she had to know because i was

turning in fucking 94 tests and my homework basically in english i was leaving that class and i was with that girl and i was like hey let's walk as slow as we can so that we don't have to go back to spanish that sucks and so we were like walking like heel to toe taking steps back like taking forever there's nobody else in the hall we go back past the ninth grade uh history teacher the ancient or american history room, whatever it was. And he saw us like lollygagging and we weren't even in his class. He got mad and he came out and scolded us for walking so slowly and wasting school time. And he told her that this was a warning. And then he went into his office and wrote out a pink slip for me. And usually the way pink slips work is he would write it and then give it to the

administrator who would log it this retard gave me my own pink slip and told me to give it to the woman never to be seen again yeah and i was like okay okay mr johnson i will bring it to her never happen again walk around the corner, threw that away. I'm not getting myself in trouble, you lazy fat fuck. High school new level. The only time I got a pink slip, I didn't actually get one. So there you go. It's funny.

I had so many detentions. To me, that's just how long school was. You had school from 8 to 9 for me? Yeah. I was talking about elementary school earlier like you want to talk about high school that's that's hilarious because so i went to uh a really large um public high school in northwest georgia and it it's huge it was the combination combination. They took three public high schools and combined them into one. And it was a really, really long haul.

Did you guys have Channel One News? Yep. Anderson Cooper. Everybody did. Oh, yeah. So Channel One News would play first thing in the morning for the first 15 minutes of school. And I had chemistry this, I think it was my freshman or sophomore year and channel one would be playing for homeroom or whatever for 15 minutes and i would always show up with two chocolate iced cream filled donuts

and like an orange juice or whatever and i would give one of the donuts to the teacher, Mr. Selvidge. And so I came in, I'm just obnoxious. And I walk in and it's a good football field, maybe 150, 200 yards down at the very end of the hallway. And I'm just singing some jaw rule at the top of my lungs going, who that, who that, who that, who that, trying to get up my barbecue. And he comes out of the office, he goes, Ryan, who the, who the, who the, who the, who the, trying to get up my barbecue. And he comes out of the office and goes, Ryan, get your ass in the office. And I go, but Mr. Selvidge, I got donuts screaming like 150 yards down the hallway, but I got donuts. He goes, get your ass in the office. I go in the office and the principal is just like, hey, what's going on? I was like, ah, Mr. Savage didn't want his donut.

It's like, I'm going to go play basketball. Is that cool? He's like, yeah, all right. Even your mean-spirited stuff was you trying to share. Yeah, it's true. That's so funny. Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking about high school. So all those weird people that you forget exist until you really do you ever do that?

And I mean, I'm you know, I'm not that much younger than you or Kyle, but like just think sometimes and then you'll face will pop up of some weird fucker that you went to high school or middle school with. Like, holy shit. I wonder what they're up to. I did that with one guy I used to play hockey with, not on my high school team on a different team. And he was in jail for heroin dealing. Jackie has my high school team on a different team and uh he was in jail for heroin dealing jackie has a high school bully jackie went to an all-girls catholic school and uh this was a big uh big girl i don't know she's a big girl she's kind of a bitch what celebrity would you say she looks like? Roseanne. Queen Latifah or Roseanne? Somewhere in the middle.

She spoke Spanish. And a big, strong girl, a couple years older than Jackie. Jackie's a beanpole of a person. And she was mad at Jackie for something she didn't say or do. She eventually learned that she was falsely accusing her, and that's how the whole thing ended. But she tormented her on the bus for a long time anyway that woman's dead now and she died an early death obviously and jackie still is like fuck yeah she's very pleased that woman is just dead burning hell you whore yeah i remember a fight middle school um these two dudes got into it

and the guy like wwf like flipped him upside down and pile drived him on the asphalt completely paralyzed him it's like wow think about shit like that that happened in in school and it's like over bro yeah it's weird how people can be so durable, right? You play football, MMA, whatever, nothing happens, and then bump in the wrong way and lives are changed. What little asphalt pile driver bump? You probably saw it. What little asphalt pile driver away from paralysis? You probably saw the Reddit video where the guy went for a flying armbar,

and it didn't work. He kind of landed here, and he lets out this scream. It's indescribable. Oh, I saw that. It was wrestling, wasn't it? Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Yeah, he was going for a flying arm bar, and he kind of just slid down the guy's arm. He didn't get it right.

Landed here and just was like, and then he couldn't move. He was paralyzed. Screaming. He broke his fucking neck. I saw that. He was paralyzed. He was screaming. He broke his fucking neck. I saw that. He's screaming. He's screaming. That's scary.

Yeah. Yeah. It's terrible. Anthony Puglia tells a story about, because some kids will torture animals. It's a normal part of growing up. Yeah. I'm joking.

I didn't mean that to you. Revolution. Yeah. Yeah. up yeah and i'm joking i didn't do that to you evolution yeah and like on an old ona show he's like yeah i had a crossroads where i could have become a serial killer i was like maybe seven years old and i caught this lizard and i just wanted to kill it this little lizard and so i took the top of a soup can lid, and it was all sharp. And I just rolled it

over the middle of this lizard and cut it in half. And I still remember it going and he was like, and that's the moment that if i would have liked that but what i actually did is i went home and i cried and i cried and i cried because i killed that lizard and i was like just a fucking final shriek I remember shooting a squirrel like that I have some AMA questions

go ahead what you got Kyle I have some AMA questions if you want to ask us these AMA questions you can sign up on the Patreon below I think it's like $10 a month you also get access to early PKN so you'd have known what happened to Taylor's brother you cheap fat so this one guy, this guy says,

let's see, there's a guy asking a pistol. Yeah, this guy just bought his first gun. Nice. Ruger SR 1911 and 9mm. Any experience with that gun? Yeah. I had a couple of those. I had them in 45.

I modified them and made them suppressed. Yeah, for $800, it's a real good 1911. had a couple of those i had them in 45 uh i modified them and made them uh suppressed um yeah they're for 800 bucks uh it's it's a real good 1911 honestly like like the other sort of full-size 1911s that are comparable or not as good i don't think i i liked them i thought they felt pretty nice um you know like i i put some different grips on it um but otherwise yeah i like it i'm not a huge fan of nine millimeter 1911s i had a kimber that was a nine millimeter that i just thought was kind of cool but i generally like 45s but um but yeah good pistol especially 800 bucks it's better than a thousand dollars and you get something a little

sicker you get a springfield or... I have one 1911. It's made by Smith & Wesson, and I forget what it is, but it's their performance line, like the competition line or something. It's a little more gunsmith than perhaps the less expensive ones. I wish I liked it more. I like it fine to look at,

but I don't hit what I'm aiming at with it as much as I do some of my other guns. For me, like some guns, I have an F2000, FS2000, FN, who the fuck knows. And I seem to hit whatever I point at. I have a Henry lever action 22. I'm really accurate with that gun. For some reason, it and I get along. And an M&P9 is the other gun I shoot well.

But I have a revolver. Not as good a shot with it. That 1911, I'm not as good a shot with it. There's a few that I'm just less skilled with. I'm always more accurate. It's about sights and triggers to me. Grips are important too. Having a good grip on the gun.

It fitting your hand well. But it's often the sights and the triggers. Good trigger, good sight. That's the commonality that all the guns that I was better with always had. Because certain pistols I would just be like, oh my god, I could shoot the fingers off that mannequin with this. And some of them I'd be like right let's let's really squeeze this one off or we're gonna miss his head you know it just depends that makes sense the lcp you got a

buddy that's got a bunch of guns that you can try or if there's a gun club or something like that where you can go shoot some things before yeah kind of get a feel for what works for you i was talking to kyle about an lcp once people know it's a very small mouse gun a pocket gun and kyle's like man i'm just not that accurate with it and i thought i am that's a walter white one right or the lcr yeah the lcr yeah the lcp is a semi-auto 380 i think and uh in my head i was like i'm pretty accurate with it it's weird that kyle's not and then i went out and put that to the test i am also inaccurate with that i can't i remember i remember when i learned that my pocket pistol was essentially worthless i took i had this like uh this half gallon of tropicana orange juice

and uh it was like most it was mostly gone or it was expired or something and i sat it out on the porch at this lake house i i i stayed at and just i mean eight, eight, 10 feet away. I just went bang. And I went, I missed. And I went bang. Oh shit. Where are the bullets going? Are they coming out? I had to like, I opened the, I take the magazine.

I look at the bullets. I'm like, these are real bullets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is is all right we're not carrying this anymore i i have no like unless i hope my attacker is really wide i need to stick this against you like a staple gun staple you with this fucking pistol to hit anything i was so so bad with it um but the lcr i felt like um i preferred it i thought it was cool i i liked the form factor of the lcr quite a bit um but but one of my favorite carry pistols was always uh i had a rossi 357 magnum snub nose that was just so compact and yet so heavy at the same time i just felt like you could really give somebody a Joe Pesci beating with it if you needed to. But also

at the same time, I had like... Oh, is that little girl in here? I was a big man here a minute ago. So he was gonna stick his foot up my friend's ass. Now here's this little girl. Yeah. Kicking him after stabbing him in the neck with a fucking bick.

Fucking stabbed him like 20 times with a fucking pin and kicked him in the face. And this is the perfect time to do it. fucking bick fucking stabbed him like 20 times i have dude for a rewatch of that movie and this is the perfect time to do it oh yeah man working the same hours as before like how has your professional situation changed so like if i'm being honest i was going into the quarantine being like hell yeah i'm gonna have so many little gaps throughout the day to get things done and whatnot. I've been way busier at home, like just sitting here working and being on calls and sending emails, drafting things. Like, yeah, I've been much, much busier than I thought. And so a lot of the time it's like, oh, you know, I usually come in here at like 8am or so and I get

going by late morning or I always have a call or two I have to do early afternoon sometimes mid-afternoon like but other than that like I'm just sitting here working and that's kind of that's kind of sucked where I was like oh this isn't what I imagined but at the same time if it gets to be like you know three in the afternoon and I can sense a little gap like I've sent out what I need to send out to people and I'm kind of you know how business is you're awaiting responses so much of the time it's like I'm just gonna I'm just Like I've sent out what I need to send out to people. And I'm kind of, you know how business is. You're awaiting responses so much of the time. It's like, I'm just going to work out now. I'm just going to go bring my phone. I can respond to anything, but I'm going to go in my basement and lift.

And that's been nice. Like being able to control the workout schedule a little more. I've been working out pretty much every day at this point. Like ever since the lockdown started, I'm trying to really take advantage of that. Obviously, like not obviously, you know, still no excuse for it. But last week with all the stress with my brother and family and stuff, I definitely engaged in some, some overeating a bit, not a bit, a lot. And so I need to undo that. It's just, you know, that's the real thing is I'm both surprised by how much work I'm actually having to do and happy with like the little bits of moving around. Like I open the door, my dogs are coming in, they're being all nice and sweet and it's fun to be around them all the time.

So I'm liking that. They are totally house trained now. I can leave them around for like they're only like 10 months old for Richard's knowledge. Totally little dogs. They're these terrible little waste of space. You fucking, I hope you get coronavirus, asshole. They're fucking ugly. They're weird looking. I can show private texts from us that say

that you think you're cute. I mean, I was just being nice because your brother wasn't doing well. This is from months ago. You fucking, you're a monster talking about. You fucking monster. You fucking monster. Absolute monster. I mean, I already got hit by a car.

Kyle and I were being nice because those dogs clearly are retarded. They say, oh, how sweet. What a terrible decision you've made. Yeah. I only know the mainstream dog breeds what is it again? it's a mix of a poodle and a cavalier and so like they don't shed

like I've said before when I was looking for dogs I prefer the poodle Ford Focus mix it's compact economical doesn't shed yeah this is a poodle chevy spark yeah that but uh yeah they're i just wanted something with a poodle so i wouldn't have to deal with shedding because that's fucking annoying and hypoallergenic i i don't have an allergy to dogs but i don't. People do, though.

Yeah, people do. So it's to be courteous. So, yeah, I really like having them to hang around. It keeps like my girlfriend's out at work still like she has an essential job. And so like I'm spending most of the day here by myself. It's too early. It feels like a vacation still almost where like I'm waking up and it's like uh i like for example yesterday or the day before i had a call i had to be on at like uh 7 45 in the morning and so i i woke up at 7 42 and then just trudged in here in my underwear sat down flipped up my laptop got my zoom meeting working it was just like man this is tits this is great all of you guys attending this meeting in jeans what are you trying to prove yeah oh my god that's some of the best things there are so many people in them like i was on

one the other day and it had 18 people on a zoom or something insane like that and i just kind of was like i can just kind of kind of mute myself and sit you need a cardboard cut out of you no it's not video it's only i think taylor's frozen again i want to share this with you because i used it for a decade cisco did like teleconferences because it's global since i started there and uh if they ever catch you not paying attention say sorry i didn't hear you i was on mute now the thing is mute doesn't stop you from hearing things but it worked for 10 years in a row no one catches it a consistent winning record a decade of i didn't hear you i was on mute and they'll repeat

it and everyone thinks that makes sense use it i've seen so many people doing these meetings and they stand up and forget and they're either like naked or or they accidentally take the ticket with them to the bathroom and start pissing if it's a like i saw a girl sit down on the toilet and everybody's just like oh oh oh and then she goes and she like shuts it and they're like oh poor april and all the dudes are like oh dumb whore no see i i literally i literally did that uh earlier this week where i mean it was like an 8 15 thing or the mute thing The pee thing or the mute thing? Well, it's a combination. I didn't show myself naked because I haven't been on any video calls. They've all been just audio only. And so it was maybe 8.15 in the morning, and I had to take my morning dump. And so I just muted it, grabbed my laptop, walked into the bathroom,

and just took a steamy shit for as long as I wanted. Well, it didn't take that long. I'd rather be in here than sitting on the toilet. But it was nice being like, man, I'm hearing people talk. I'm even talking back to them, and I'm sitting here taking a foul shit, unmuting, unmuting in between bursts into the toilet. That's a dangerous game we're playing. Yeah. I mean, we retail from much lower than that with your product at CVS. I don't think game we're playing. Yeah. I mean, we

retail from much lower than that with your product at CVS. I don't think Walgreens will be pleased. No, they absolutely shouldn't run a BOGO right now. I mean, demand is high enough as is. What's a BOGO? Buy one, get one. Or a TPR, a temporary price reduction.

We're doing buy a bag, give a bag right now. How's that work? So when people buy a bag of coffee, we're donating a bag to hospitals, first responders right now. That's nice. So they can save people with a very high heart rate. Well, these people are pulling really long shifts and everything. Oh, I know.

That's a good thing to do. It's very good of your organization. Did you finish off Curb Your Enthusiasm, Taylor? By the way, Richard, if you're not into Curb Your Enthusiasm, that would be something great for you to get into. I was going to watch Curb last night, but I decided to pop on Tiger King instead. After Tiger King is done, I'll

jump back to Curb. I think I'm like season four or five at least right now because there have been whole days that or like whole weekends where I had nothing going on or just running in the background.

Yeah. Just finished the 10th season. The season finale was Sunday. Is that the most recent season? Yeah. Oh, I guess if it's a sunday then yeah yeah great show great show one of the best shows on television it's he's so uncompromising you know a lot of a lot of shows like yeah yeah we gotta make another season i mean i feel like westworld

is that right now like oh yeah well i mean it's the third year so we gotta make a third season of the show and uh you know quality be damned write something Larry David is like I'm basically like a billionaire and I'm only doing this as like a vanity project because I want to make an amazing funny show like to the best of my ability so give me two two and a half

years and I'm gonna write some good stuff and I'll be back with you and that's what he does like he takes a year two years between seasons of the show and he makes an amazing season. Every time. Where's it live? Like, where do you watch it?

Uh, HBO. Okay. Are you ever just kind of distracted by, I don't know what his wife's name is. Actresses. Yeah. Her face looks like it's like there's clothes pins behind her head holding the skin back she looks

very almost feline are you seeing plastic surgery is that what you think it is yeah very like definitely plastic surgery but are you are you do you notice that because the skin seems too taut she's held up well i'll say that i i never thought plastic surgery i think she's pretty attractive and she's got a great body because she's definitely like 50 or so. What's the actress's name? Just search Cheryl from Curb Your Enthusiasm. C-H-E-R-Y-L. Cheryl?

I was going to be like, but Cheryl's unspellable. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know. I hate her character. I'll say that. She's my least favorite character in the show i really despise her you'll you'll know why by the time you get where i am i'm sure what a monster i'm seeing a lot of porn well all right well here we go i see what you're both

talking about like now that taylor said that and kind of predisposed me to think that, I see it, but I also see her as someone who's just held up really well for 50. 54. Good for her. This one looks shopped. She doesn't even have crow's feet. I'm 80% sure this one with cum all over her face isn't real. It's hard to say. It's hard to say.

It's hard to say. I think she just says Botox. It's hard to say. It looks like Botox to me because I'm looking at really old pictures of her, and I'm looking at her at an award show last year, and it's like, eh, this is Botox. I wish I knew. I'm sorry.

How many actors had plastic surgery and testosterone? Or steroids or whatever. More plates. I would say all dudes who bulk up or are on something. Probably testosterone or something more intense. And you can usually tell with the ladies who have had plastic surgery. Like Megan Fox has had way too much at this point. Oh, that's a shame.

Really? I feel like you didn't know? Megan Fox? I haven't seen her since the fucking Transformer movies. I think she'd had it already. Hmm. Yeah, when you said that, I instantly jumped to the fringe chick. What's her name? Oh, she's looking a little

feline as well. Yeah, the nose. Jennifer Aniston is who you're thinking of. No, the brunette. Oh, Courtney Cox. That's how I did that. I can see why I did that. I can see why I did that. Yeah, but there's good plastic surgery too that people don't see.

Kenny Rogers. Looking good. Looking good. He's looked better. If you saw him today, probably not holding up too well, but... See, he died last week.

That's the joke. I got it. Oh, I did not know he was dead. Yeah, he's dead. He's dead. That makes it a funny joke. I was in a live stream. Well, he survived Corona.

And they were demanding that I pay tribute to Kenny Rogers and show more respect to Kenny Rogers. OK. And I'm like, what are we taught? Like, why? And then I learned he died. Every gambler knows secret to surviving yeah I like his songs

but like it's not like he was making new shit it's not like you know I certainly don't care that he's dead he was old as fuck then he had a good life at the risk of their wrath if your name starts I certainly don't care that he's dead. 80? I don't know. He was old as fuck. Will Sasso did a funny skit.

At the risk of their wrath. If your age starts with an 8 and it's not 8, then you've had a good run. Just fucking cash out. 38 to 20. So 40 to 20. Oh, I'm doing it wrong. 40 to 20. 82 82 does that sound right

Sure Yeah he's an old guy You know I want to know I know we're at 4 But what is How each of us How long do you have in toilet paper Before it runs out

Woody I know you're probably set until September It is just toilet paper or can we include paper towels because i've got a fuck ton of paper towels if we're including paper towels i'm good for a year i have like a year of toilet paper really like i was like i asked jackie do we have enough like is there enough and she's like yeah it's in the upstairs closet and i'm like all right like which upstairs closet like they manage all that stuff i don't have to i don't have like, yeah, it's in the upstairs closet. And I'm like, all right, like which upstairs closet? Like they manage all that stuff. I don't have to, I don't have, I don't put toilet paper in the bathrooms. It just gets there.

Right. And. La dee da. So. Ooh. And I look at the upstairs closet and I pictured like a bundle of it. You know, the ones you couldn't even hug. No, the closet has two doors.

I open it up. It's all over. We didn't hoard it, if that's what you guys are thinking. What we actually did is just kind of overestimate the Amazon subscription. We just live in a state

of like a year's worth of that. We need to cancel a month or two, which I think she did. I saw the video of you at the dollar store all right i know what's up poor woman no we're in the same position with the wet wipes i i we have this same like closet type thing in the master bath and like i saw it i don't know dozens and dozens of those 150 roll packs of wet wipes like we have too much yeah I don't have a whole lot left I probably got like eight rolls and then it's toilet then

I I'm gonna have to find a source and then it's paper towels is it still like hard to find like I like I I go through like maybe a couple rolls a month of that because I use wet wipes and stuff so I mean like if you I you go to a grocery store, the canned food's there, the frozen food's there, the spices, the fucking, you know, whatever they have, it's there. You walk into the paper aisle, and it is barren. There is no paper.

Slash and burn, America. Those rainforests are just sitting there. Okay? They're mocking us. I'm hearing that Jackie's biggest struggle is chicken. That's hard to get. Really? I haven't had too much.

I've got so much meat in my freezer and now downstairs that I don't really need chicken. Elk meat? Does it make you aggressive, Taylor? No. What are you, crazy Joe? I'm more on Joe's side than I am Bill bill burrs on that because i don't know what it doesn't make me more aggressive to eat elk meat how much elk meat have you had enough to know i'm not getting more aggressive i don't believe you i don't think you've had

any elk meat i've had bison and it had elk steaks from uh one of my friend's shop i don't believe you you don't have to I'll find an elk steak, eat it on camera I had an elk steak with you the day you two fought at the no, at the fucking restaurant with all those with the way too crowded walls and decor, I remember that was a

point of contention that we both had where it was like, it is too busy in here can we settle it down they had more animals on the wall than they knew what to do with. Do you need 20 deer on the wall? We get it. That's what we're eating. We get it. How about you don't have

fucking deer heads encroaching on our sitting space? You don't need to mount a deer three feet above the ground. Everything they had there, somebody had murdered the week before. Yeah. Oh, what's this oh wow that's the toilet that was that was me at target the other day and i was like oh that's oh weird i was just getting some forks but you you know what i've bought i i've got like

five packs of 120 each uh napkins that i've picked up when I've like stopped at the store. Outside the box thinking. I see. Outside the box thinking. Yep. So I'll tell you, I ended up going to, because now I'm having to be a normal adult and cook and do things like that.

So I was like, I guess I got better go get some plates and stuff like that. So I went to Bed Bath & Beyond, and they had everything that every other place was out of. They had toilet paper. They had medicine. They had all that stuff. Yeah.

Bed Bath & Beyond. Office Depot. Office Depot has toilet paper, by the way. Yeah. Office Depot and Staples. Makes sense. Hit up your Staples, people. Home Depot.

I'm going to hit up my local staples before this airs on Saturday. Alright. That's four hours. Richard, is there anything you want to let everybody know they should go check out? That alien thing you showed me was cool. When and where is that going to be up? That'll be

on full mag. I'd say if I was going to pump anything, if anybody's looking for a job i'm looking for somebody to do some social media stuff i'm always looking for editors if people are looking for work you know i might be able to put people to work we've got um arcane coffee out now how would someone contact you black record um you know i put my um my community number my text number or dm me on uh Instagram or any of that other stuff. Just reach out to me.

I'm pretty good about responding to people, though I don't post a whole lot. Okay. I want to change that. I just loathe posting stuff. Now's the time to do it, man. I'm the opposite. My social media is write only. Don't write me. probably just hurt my feelings but

i post see i just engage with people like i i hate fucking posting selfies and stuff like that so i want people who get the content that we do like what's cool oh this was a awesome slow-mo clip i'll post that to social cool roger that we'll just like create guidelines and stuff like that or people are talented editors i know people who are in like some big production you know like tv series and stuff in there they don't even know when they're going back so um you know just trying to trying to find some some talented people in these trying times all right well sounds good thank you very much for coming on had a great time thanks for inviting me appreciate that always anytime my friend pka 484