Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #485

Episode Date: April 10, 2020

In this week's PKA, our old pal, YouTuber mastermind himself, Kwebbelkop is back! Turns out he's got a bit of a fever, does he have the Rona?! Kyle shares the story of interacting with his expensive lawyers, and his negligent lawyers over time, the guys go a deep dive talking a lot about Kweb and all his real estate investing he's been up to over in Europe. So tune in for a hell of a variety show!

pka episode 45 sorry kyle couple of sponsors tonight squarespace express vpn and netgear netgear orvi wi-fi we'll talk about them later on the show of course but yeah we got our good old friend on the show tonight how are how are the viral fears in your land, Quebel Cop? Because I know you're back home. You're not in good old Canada these days. Where are you exactly, by the way? I mean, Amsterdam.

Okay. How bad is it? It's bad here, guys. If you walk on the street next to someone, you'll get yelled at. Really? I've left the house for a week. Everything is closed you can just go to the grocery store that's it um yeah yeah pretty much the same thing uh

same thing in my state um as of yesterday because governor kent uh found out yesterday yesterday that the coronavirus can be spread by people who are still asymptomatic he was like hey i found out yesterday in the last 24 hours that they could spread this thing even where they're not sick that is baffling can you guys believe it wow based on this depression we're locking it down i learned from him i just learned that now i can't believe you guys are all acting like we've been talking about it on the show. What? No. I've known for over a month. The governor of Georgia didn't know?

He didn't know. Can I break the news here? I might actually have Corona. Really? What makes you say that? So, about two weeks ago, everything got shut down over here.

And I had a few dinners planned uh you know with some business people and um you know business partner slash friend of mine uh he said well hey unfortunately we can't go for dinner anymore but i could still come to your place i was like all right sure why not and he told me he's like well i am a little bit sick though so first thing i said was whoa whoa whoa go to the doctor get it checked and he goes yeah i went to the doctor the doctor said it was fine so i was like so you're sure you don't have corona he's like yeah the doctor said i don't have corona so i was like all right sounds good um he came over and um everything looked fine and he starts coughing a little bit you know i i'm like ah this is fine this is fine and um you know he's about to leave and he goes hey do you by any chance have any paracetamol so i'm like whoa what is that

pain meds well i call them uh like tylenol do you have any tylenol yeah right so i'm like yeah sure here take it and he's like i gotta go home go home. I feel so sick. Why didn't you let him into your home? And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, yeah, man, I'm like glowing up over here. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you got to leave. And he leaves. And, you know, we text a little bit after. Turns out he had a fever when he came over.

Okay. turns out he had a fever when he came over okay and he had a fever for a total four days great coughing laying in bed trouble breathing what the fuck and then this bitch had the rona and he gave it to you a few days later a few days later my throat starts hurting stay close to your mic my throat starts hurting sorry my throat starts hurting and i'm like okay who did i see in the past few days like nobody besides this guy right so i hit him up and he's like i'm like you told me you were tested right for corona he's like oh yeah yeah i went to the doctor and they told me my fever wasn't high enough so they just send me home and i'm like and where where are you from by the way and he goes and he says that that location which is like the hot spot for corona in my country so i'm like okay i'm everything's locked up nobody's coming in anymore i'm staying indoors for the next four

weeks i'm getting people to do my groceries for me i've not left my house how many days Everything's locked up. Nobody's coming in anymore. I'm staying indoors for the next four weeks. I'm getting people to do my groceries for me. I have not left my house. How many days ago was this now? So this was about a week to a week and a half ago. Okay. So they're saying most people get it within the first two weeks of being exposed. You don't sound like you're sick right now.

So I'm finally like you're sick right now. So, so I'm, I'm, I'm finally like yesterday I was like dead. I was just in bed all day. And then today I took the day off. I'm feeling much better already. So I hope it's going to be gone, but who knows?

Huh, man, I can't believe as soon as some bitch starts coughing in my house, I'm, I'm taking a mask and just like escorting them out the door. You're not doing that. I don't even like, it probably doesn't, I was reading something that it can survive

for like 25 hours on cardboard, or maybe it was even more than that, 72 hours. Yeah, I let my Amazon package sit for like two days before I opened them. That crossed my mind and I was like, am I being retarded? And I decided I was. Clean your groceries, guys.

Clean your groceries. We are doing all of those things. Yeah. Our milk gets delivered. Jackie hits it with Clorox wipes. An Amazon box comes. It marinates for a day outside before we bring it in. And I'm told that on steel it lasts a really long time.

Three days. Are you hearing three? Up to three days. I heard more, but I don't know. I've heard three days and 30 days and eight days don't know. I've heard three days and thirty days and eight days and a week. I've heard seven and nine. And again, I don't know anything, right?

You know Devin DeBeast? The guy we play Tarkov with? Yeah, yeah. Did you know he had a degree in biology? Yeah, smart guy. See? It didn't come across to me. I'm just kidding. Oh, don't kill the joke with that. No, that no it seems like a real dum-dum so but anyway he was explaining that like why corona would last longer on metal than cardboard and stuff and it made perfect sense to

him i don't know anything but uh but yeah so on different surfaces different lifetimes that's all yeah yeah he's got a beautiful voice too. Educated, melodic. He's multi-talented. Check out his stream zone over there. Devin the Beast. Hey, we passed a million confirmed global cases, so round of applause for the world. I hate to break

this to everyone here, but we passed that number like two months ago. China's fucking lying, bro. China's fucking lying. Not. China's fucking lying. Not just China, though. It's like, you know, these are confirmed cases. Yes. There's a lot more cases than the confirmed number.

Why would China lie? They're on the other side of the bell curve. No, they're not. It appears that as soon as the Western journalists left, they might have been the problem all along. Everything got better. It is funny how they didn't even – if I were Xi Jinping, I would have been like, guys, we can't go from 15,000 new cases a day down to 37 new cases a day. How about over the next month or so we walk it back? Oh, now there's only 13 000 now there's only

10 000 no they jumped like over the course of two days from like getting 30 000 new people to seven stop stop worrying about china start worrying about your own country oh we're fucked it'll be two weeks and it'll be a million in the u.s alone are you aware that over the last couple of months 21 million cellular customers have vanished in China? I did see some about that. Yeah, 21 million. That's pretty interesting. At the risk of the wrath.

I read that too, but I only read the headline. Is the source reliable on that? Yeah, here you go. I saw it from multiple places. I didn't really look into it though. RCwireless.com. I just don't know. I don't know if that's true or if that's Flat Earth stuff.

It's also on Wireless. It's on EconomicTimes.com. It's on Telecom.com. I guess it's true. I don't know. I've never heard of any of those places. I want it to be from a place that at least supposedly vets their news.

The news sources that we've heard of. Unfortunately, the people who vet their news are employed by the Chinese. That's probably true. Yeah, I don't know. Sweep that under the rug. Dude, there are genuinely Chinese bots out there on social

media that were like you remember when trump was doing the chinese china virus or whatever it was and like uh there were like legit chinese bots that were programmed to like search out certain keywords i tweeted something like a week or so ago like oh if you believe you're a fucking retard if you believe china's official numbers and an account responded to me with a boilerplate response in Chinese. Did you translate it? I clicked translate, and it was like, you are full of shame for this, or something like that.

Ah, he got me. Ah, he knows me. Never mind. He just credited you with that one. He memed on me hard. I completely discredited you with that one. I was, he memed on me hard. I felt bad for not believing the official. Sorry,

comrades party of China government. And the thing I keep saying about everyone getting it and just developing an immunity to it. So it's not as bad the next time around. I'm finding I, you convince me I'm crazy sometimes, but every time I look into it, that becomes the truth. And when I talk to people who aren't you, they, they also have that same impression. So I'm crazy sometimes, but every time I look into it, that becomes the truth. And when I talk to people who aren't you,

they also have that same impression. So I'm still stuck there. When I talk to people who aren't you. Yeah. There are a lot of flat earthers out there. There are a lot of people who aren't Kyle. I'm not sure if the three of you are aware of this. There's a whole movement of people.

They don't think birds are real. Well, they're not. They think the birds are being charged. By the power lines. That's why they sit there. No, no, no. Everybody is in quarantine so they can charge the birds. That's what it is.

You've not heard that one? I have literally seen illustrations. I have seen illustrations of what the inside of a bird supposedly looks like, and it's all mechanical like the fucking Terminator. Yeah. What is this website? Obviously, birds are a modern invention. You don't see any old pictures of birds like from Egypt.

That's where I'm at. You know, whenever something comes up, I don't dismiss things out of hand. I don't say, ha, bullshit. I'm too smart to even look into that. No, I'll look into even the craziest things. But all I had to do was do what you just did, Woody. I went, man, I'm pretty sure they talk about birds in the Bible and all sorts of ancient texts.

Birds are real, okay. There's plenty of illustrations. I mean, look at the Egyptian hieroglyphics with the birds and the ottoman shit. The bones from the dinosaurs. Maybe they've been here the whole time the ottoman shit. The bones from the dinosaurs? Maybe they've been here the whole time. Watching. Waiting.

And I realize that that's absurd. Because I've shot many birds in real life and torn them apart with my hands and eaten them. And there were no metal bits in there. Riddle me this. Is the birds aren't real movement dinosaur denial.

Oh, I'm familiar with the dinosaur denial movement as well. Are they the same people though? Because dinosaurs were birds is my understanding from like a... Oh, well you would have to believe... Every channel show. These are not the type of people who believe in evolution. So you're going down two or three paths that they're just not going to go with. So you're going down two or three paths that they're just not going to go with.

They believe that fossils are a hoax because the first dinosaur wasn't discovered until – and I'm just making a year up here. But it was like 250 years ago when the first dinosaur was ever discovered, the first fossils. And then all of a sudden they're finding them everywhere. And they're like, you're telling me we didn't find one for all of human history until like jimmy popcorn did in 1797 and then he then he opened up a circus showing them off bullshit the resin casts as if like before that you know when people stumbled upon it they're like man this must have been one hell of a bear i think that's what you're looking at in ancient depictions of dragons uh is people discovered dinosaur fossils and they're like holy fucking shit this must have I think that's what you're looking at in ancient depictions of dragons. People discovered dinosaur fossils and they were like,

holy fucking shit, this must have been a dragon. Just putting the pieces together. I'll have to look more into the birds aren't real. I do like this t-shirt. I might buy it. Of the old propaganda style art. But instead of some masked Illuminati puppeteering the media and the government, it's just a bird.

Yeah, I don't think there'd be a whole birdsaren'treal.com website if birds were real. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Now that is flawless logic. What's a conspiracy theory that you actually believe? And you can't just say the ones that have been literally

proven to be like, holy shit, we really did do that Gulf of Tonkin thing. Holy crap. We really did test STDulf of tonkin thing holy crap we really did test stds on the tuskegee uh in the tuskegee experiments on african americans like like you can't come up with one of the ones that is like on wikipedia factual u.s government has admitted to already what's one that you believe in that's still shadowy man that's that's tough because they're i was lizard people no no i'm joking i'm joking okay let's just want so i keep i always draw the i hit the same well on this i want to come up with a different one

for this show but i always hit the uh the plane in pennsylvania where the guy said let's roll and went down and i think it was shot down yeah yeah i recently watched a lot of stuff about that and how like the the the coroner showed up to like identify like label the bodies or whatever looked around for 10 minutes and was just like i'm going home and look why it's like there's nothing out there it looks like there's just a hole in the ground there's no wreckage there's no wreckage like there's just i'm more of the thought process here was the conspiracy theory that was being put forward in all the material that I recently looked into in my spare time is that it didn't even go down. They were saying that they just shot a missile into the ground and scattered a little rubbish around. And then they landed the plane somewhere and smoked all the people that were on the plane and killed them.

Jesus, that's a lot more complicated than just shooting it down. See, but I saw the engine and stuff. Like when I did that conspiracy debunking powerpoint thing you sure you found the engine there was i well i remember the photo of the engine and i remember how it hit the dirt and uh one of my points was how scattered the plane was how parts of it were here i could have been lied to last week speaking of that bit we did a while back we we we need to do that again like the structured conspiracy thing let's do that next

week that'd be fun I'm just doing the same one again just doing the same one but I remember how fucking funny it was that Woody had a powerpoint and like you would make a point and then authoritatively be like next slot and next slot

that was really it's like that scene in JFK. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. I don't know what happened with the JFK thing, but I do believe it was more complicated than just Oswald doing that.

There were more people in play. Who did it? I don't know who did it either,, I don't know who did it either, but I think there's definitely a conspiracy at play there. Anytime there's a... I'm sorry, I cut you off. Anytime there's a president, he's going to have a lot of people who are against him.

There's, of course, the other political side, and in his case, there was mafia and the Cuba and the Cubans and a bunch of... You could just say Trump right now. Does anyone want to kill Trump? Oh, well, surely. Lots of people do. You know, he's in a couple of trade wars.

There's motivation there. He's unpopular with the blue team. There's motivation there. You know, you could look all over and find people who haven't acted as far as I know. But good. Sure. Sure. Oh, shit. I just forgot my conspiracy theory,

the thing that... Oh, I think that there have been previous civilizations that were advanced that got wiped out in the past. How advanced are you talking about here? They got to the stage of large stone structures and organized society, like Egyptian-style level organized government out um well well that that book that i you know that i've read with from the graham cochran guy he

suggests that it was the um uh a comet strike that happened i want to say 14 000 years ago i was afraid you were about to say pandemic. No, no. It triggered this geologically proven period of global cooling called the Younger Dryas, where a lot of the major animals in the world went

extinct. He thinks that that was the cataclysm that swept the earth clean of whatever civilizations existed. Undesirables. It's possible. Yeah, so that's the one that I think is... I've just watched.

Okay. It might not be a conspiracy, but it's more of like an astrology conspiracy where there is this um this barrier civilizations will reach and then they'll just go extinct the great filter right the great filter right yeah that's oh yeah that's i think that's dude that's really i've never heard of that oh no i wish i could it's fascinating. Someone who understood it more completely explained it to you. It would be cool.

Kyle, do you want to take a shot at it? It sounds like you do. I believe that the core part of it is there's this question, and it is why are we not, with our radio telescopes and our listening devices, able to detect intelligent life that's at least able to send out a radio signal or a laser signal of some kind. And so the great filter is the answer to that. It's all of these filters that not just

a society, but a life form has to evolve through to get to that point. And war and plague, all of the four horsemen are part of that filter. And it's a really interesting theory. I like to go down those YouTube rabbit holes. The question is, is that filter... So pretty much, we're going into the right direction. The one with radio waves is even more complicated because us as a civilization might only use radio waves for a few hundred years or a thousand years,

which in the skill of the universe is like nothing right so it'll just see it for a thousand years and then you won't see it but pretty much the question is why are we still alone in the universe right i feel like this is like an educational even even our planet has gotten to the point where we send satellites out past pluto outside our solar system you you would think that, so there's one possibility is that we're first, that we're the most advanced society to have ever existed. But as a numbers game,

that seems improbable, right? That we're literally the most advanced society to have ever existed in the universe. That seems improbable. There's so many planets. So you may have touched on it to have ever existed. No, to still exist, yes.

Right. So wait, wait, wait. There are different questions now. Right. So if what I said, we are the most to have ever existed, then there isn't a great filter. We're first. But that seems unlikely. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Why don't I get it? That's incorrect. So the thing about the great filter. You asked for someone to be able to explain it, guys. I'm trying to explain it here. So the gray filter is the filter that, you know, if a civilization gets to a point, they go extinct. And this could be, there's tons of different theories what it could be. It could be, for example, you know, star goes supernova, star blows up, whatever star, you know, we cannot leave our solar system in time. That's a possibility.

Another possibility is that we'll never be able to leave our Milky Way galaxy. But some other stuff that's even more interesting is that it could be that humans won't be interested anymore in a thousand years to try and explore. For example, if VR and AR and all those things, you know, let's say we create the Matrix and we can live inside of our simulation, why would we still want to explore if you can explore the entire universe within right anyways yeah i was headed to that before i was cut off okay wait wait yeah no so there is a possibility that oh my gosh stop it you took the floor from me told me i was wrong and then i wasn't so there is a possibility that there is no filter and that we're first but that's improbable right so then we're head to where queb

was saying that there is a filter and what is is that filter? Is that filter that you lose interest? It could be that that filter is there's an aggressive society out there. And anytime they find them, they eliminate them. So it seems like there's none. And once we do make contact with someone, it's the end for us. Go on. It's also possible that we've already passed the filter. So if you look back at history, the amount of mass extinctions we've already passed the filter, right? So if you look back at history,

the amount of mass extinctions, you know, we've survived, the amount of like this, you know, the whole coronavirus situation could have wiped everything out, right? I mean, it didn't, and it probably won't, but it could have been it. So it's like, did we pass it already? Or are we going towards it?

Or are there multiple filters? There's definitely multiple filters, right? You know, there's the zoo hypothesis, right? The galactic zoo hypothesis. And what is this? These are interesting conspiracy theories. Wait, that we're a part of a zoo where they took like... There are intelligent alien life forms out there, and they just put up

some sort of subspaced road sign out there that said, humans ahead, don't contact, and they're just allowing us to evolve like fucking microbes in a petri dish. They're not going to interfere, they're just watching. It's like that South Park where they have they get cancelled, and

the producers of the show, the Glorksians or whatever, are like, oh no, we put everything on Earth to see how it would go. You think that's how the entire universe works? No, there's a planet of deer, a planet of Asians, a planet of birds. A planet of Asians? That's what the line was. Everybody's crashing into each other

all day. There's a few ways to look at it. There's a few ways to look at it. You can say, alright, well this is a tribe in the Amazon, and we will not lay contact with them. We just let them live and this and that. Sometimes they see a plane fly over, and they're like, oh, what's that? And that's the equivalent of us humans seeing UFOs, right? That's one possibility.

That's one possibility. The other one is that these aliens are so much smarter than humans that they'll look at us and go, what's the point of us communicating with an ant? Right? What's the point? They won't ever understand this. I hate that one though. I don't buy into that one because I think that like, because there are tons of humans who go and study ants and spend

their whole fucking life staring at ants and learning about ants. And every time I see a Reddit gif of like a line of ants walking next to a line of termites and all the ants are like bucked up, like don't fuck with the ant line. And all the termites are like bucked up, like don't you fuck with the termite line. Fascinating. They're in a standoff while the workers carry the food and do their fucking colony shit. And then the workers are at the corner like, don't you fuck with our shit. Don't you fuck with our shit, termite.

I'm fascinated by that. So I think that no matter how advanced they are and how inferior we are technologically, evolutionarily speaking. Kyle won me over. I was anti-Kyle at the start of that. He turned me around. I want to see some ant termite fights now. It's cool as shit. I'm going to me around. I want to see some ant termite fights now. It's cool as shit. I need to defend this.

So now the question is, are ants able to recognize humans observing them? And I don't think so. They might see, hey, there's something there, but they might not understand what that is. Yeah, they don't know they're part of like a David Attenborough special.

When you break out the magnifying glass and torture them, they start to get the message. Yeah, but then they just do that cool ant thing and just reevaluate the line. Yeah, man, Kyle, that is a really good comparison. I always thought that same thing. We're fascinated by those things.

How many nature documentaries are there? When I see the one about bugs, I'm like, ooh, I like these. I can only watch the penguins do their shit so many times, but these ants? I don't know anything. Oh, a leaf cutter ant. What? They don't even eat the leaves? They just feed them?

They're not eating the leaves. They're taking the leaves, leaf cuttings, putting them down in the colony and growing some sort of mold on them or something. Yeah, fungus on them. And then they eat the fungus. These are farmer ants, not leaf eating ants. I had no idea. And it's fascinating. There's a lot of interesting stuff. If I see two snails

fucking, which I don't think they even fuck. I think one lays eggs and the other comes around. I'm not sure. I'm like, oh, that's how they do it? I'm going to check this out. If I see two wildebeests making babies, if I saw two chickens, well, two wildebeests making babies if i saw two chickens well they don't fuck but if i saw two chickens hypothetically having sex then that would be a thing or dolphins or whatever why wouldn't they check out our wars our reproduction those things

are inherently interesting i think they're checking it out one of the things that that's that's for sure though is like so one of the problems with them even hiding themselves from us is is there um i don't remember what the scale is called but there's this scale of like civilization levels it's like oh this is a tier one civilization is it based on how much uh sun energy they harness it's that's where that's where we're ending up it's it's a technological uh advancement scale and and up at the top is when is is what we believe will eventually happen. That is when they're harnessing the complete power of a star

with a Dyson sphere. The whole thing is like, we're not seeing any Dyson spheres. It's called the Kardashev scale. A type 1 civilization, also called a planetary civilization, can use and store all of the energy available on its planet. A type 2, called a stellar civilization, can use and control all of the energy available on its planet. A type 2 called a stellar

civilization can use and control energy at the scale of its stellar system. And a type 3 civilization, also called a galactic civilization, can control energy at the scale of its entire host galaxy. We're probably level 0 then. We're level 0 there. Dude, that's so dumb.

The guy who made that scale, I closed the window up, but Kudushchev or whatever, you could have bullshitted a couple levels below where we already achieved. So that we felt a little better about it. We don't want to come in on level zero. We've done shit. We should be like Randy Marsh measuring his level. We're at 0.7, guys.

The adjusted penis size is... Our adjusted Kudushchev scale is a 4.7. 4.7. We're a little 4.7 civilization. So if you say we're a Dyson sphere... Do you know something? Or did we just make a joke? We're a 0.7, 0.8.

Are we really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. So yeah, this scientist, I don't know his first name. I know his last name's Dyson. He theorized that you could completely enclose a star in a mechanism that would take 100% of its light energy or there are lesser ways to do it.

You could just surround it with satellites, like thousands and thousands, or maybe start out with one and then two and then three, but you'd surround the sun at close range with these satellites that are beaming the energy back to your planet. And the idea is that we're like, well, eventually, that just makes sense that you would need that kind of power source, and that would be the easiest way to do it. We should be able to see those, though, because we can detect gravity by the way it bends light with our radio telescopes, right?

Yeah. So it should be almost like, in the same way we detect black holes, we should be able to detect Dyson spheres. It would be tough, though. No, no, no. Go ahead. No, no, no. You're going into the right direction, but unless I'm wrong, we can detect the drop in

light intensity. I'm wrong, we can detect the drop in light intensity. So when we look at a star and all of a sudden, you know, the light intensity drops because, for example, a planet goes in front of it, then we know, okay, there's a planet, it has another planet, it has another planet. But if all of a sudden a star starts dimming halfway and it starts dimming more and then more and more and more, then we know okay hey there is a possibility that there is a civilization over there which has created a dyson sphere but that's just if if we are literally viewing and of course we're looking back in time because of the speed of light but that's just in case we're looking at a partial dyson sphere or

mid construction of a full dyson sphere. I'm describing a scenario in which the Dyson sphere has been there for millennia, right? But then the gravitational waves will just pass through. Gravity just doesn't care there's a Dyson sphere there. Everything with mass has gravity. So it would have an enormous amount of mass.

Not only the star's mass, but the Dyson sphere would even add to that. And it would bend the light of the stars behind it, and we could detect that. And there would also be a gravitational area out there that has planets rotating it, which would be funny for them to be able to, what are they

rotating? So what you're saying is like, it would be like a black hole, but it wouldn't be as strong as a black hole. It would be like in between just a little bit stronger than a star it would be a scientist or was he just like he's the vacuum guy have you ever experienced a 550 vacuum cleaner now you can say you have it's like no i'm gonna go ahead and buy a fucking Hoover

bitch. Dirt devil. Yeah, that stuff's really fascinating to me. I love watching those documentaries about space and I like going down the YouTube rabbit hole. I find that that's even more enjoyable because they're not selling you anything. There's no commercial breaks. It's just often

a professor or a physicist of some kind and he's really breaking things down on a marker board if you had time to kill i mean you don't travel a lot right now but that's when i take in these sci-fi audiobooks and yes i may be projecting i want to recommend but yeah go ahead i want to hear it i may be projecting because i like them so much but man they introduce concepts there and you know problem solving in these books i didn't realize that the sci-fi movies i've enjoyed forever are just candy compared to the meals that are sci-fi books that that i there's some good stuff out there what do you got quill

okay so i read a lot i have a lot of books here i'm usually like i usually love reading these businessy books but then as like sometimes i'm like okay enough business here i'm usually like i usually love reading these businessy books but then as like sometimes i'm like okay enough business so i love reading like these cypher books this is my all-time favorite book the future of humanity and it discusses literally everything we just talked about my favorite book i've ever read very it's like inspirational but also sad because you're like well we're not i'm never going to experience any of this really really really cool future coming up is there a story to it or is it just predict the future it's it it predicts the future um but it does it in a sense that it's not

like yeah we're gonna have flying cars in a week right or in a in a month. It'll be like, okay, well, humans are on Earth now, then we'll go to Mars, we'll most likely create artificial super intelligence, or artificial general intelligence, which is equally as smart as humans, or smarter than humans, and then we're gonna colonize other

star systems, but how are we gonna get there? We can send a generation ship, we can send these type of ships we can create wormholes and then and then what and then what and then what and how are we going to live so there's no protagonist that we're following through the whole thing you kind of are the protagonist is uh humanity and you're kind of following okay well this is the story of how uh mishio kaku that's it yeah mishio mishio kaku i've got his cookbook it's great you're joking 50 ways to cook fat it's it's incredible win number one don't cook

mishio kaku he was on there's a bunch of old clips on onaNA of Jim Norton ranting about that guy because he had a science show at the same time that Jim like in the adjacent studio he said where he's like and Jim lived in the same building and rode the elevator with him all the time and he was like and he is the most autistic rude person on earth I just I'll walk in there and he'll be with his wife and I'll go hi Michio and he'll go oh he doesn't want to talk to me just say hi to me we've lived together for five years he's a weirdo

that guy his voice is so like this he's very into space and sounds very calm oh you know the possibilities are endless in what we can do to the solar system. It's like a strong... Read the book. Read the book?

I want to hear the book. Sorry. So, yeah. Okay. Read by Taylor. Thank you for buying my book. I'd buy it. You're going to begin right now with the prologue.

Get the book on Audible. Get the book on Audible, guys. Put it on your headphones. Put it on 1.5 times slash 2 times the speed. And then just go. Just go for it. I drive listening to fast books. My comprehension

drops and it's already a little compromised because I'm sometimes flying or driving. It's stressful. I like to savor my content. I slow it down to half speed sometimes. I sometimes go on three times the speed and I just listen to Alvin and the Chickmunk version of this book.

I just listened to Alvin and the Chickmunks version of this book. Just a rapid reader. Have you watched Tiger King, Quabble Cop? No. Oh, damn, dude. You had Corona. You had plenty of time. Yeah, no excuse.

I still work with Corona, guys. You took a day off. We know damn well you did. You should have been consuming media. I did today. I did today. Yeah. It's the number one show in the world. Hysterical.

It's hysterical. Tiger King on Netflix. I feel like no one's calling it out for what it is, right? A derivative of Game of Thrones. Okay. I'm going to watch this. Yeah. They are birds of a feather okay well there's the part

where the father died obviously a copy of what ned stark did uh there's the part where uh simba joins the night watch you know we're off with pumbaa and the and the other cat i forget that's the lion king god damn it The animation is dated. I didn't see where you were going with that. I'm an idiot. Those songs are great. I like that monkey. I like Rafiki. Anyway, Tiger King.

I finished the series. I mean, there are so many memes going around with this show right now. It's impossible to get it spoiled, really. So it's a documentary. It's following these people in America who own roadside zoos. This may be a foreign concept to you, but in my country, we have many freedoms.

I'm getting surprised. And for $2,000 US dollar dues, you can purchase yourself a fucking tiger. And what happens after that is no one's concerned but yours and your neighbors. Can you feed it? Who knows?

Are you trained to handle tigers? Who cares? Do you have $2,000, sir? That is my only question. And you can get yourself a fucking tiger. And these people essentially, it's following a group of different people all around the united states oklahoma myrtle beach south carolina tampa florida and uh there's a gun-toting mullet having country singer homosexual

who's into polygamy has 250 tigers uh owns a ranch where where he has felons and crackheads living in squalor and that's all one person Kyle nailed it I was like don't forget in my head that's one person it's incredible and he's in this can you go through that list again

I can try he is a gun toting homosexual redneck with a mullet country singer polygamist owns 250 tigers uh country music singing um you said gay i'm sure did we do polygamist again he's yeah amazing he has he you know he hires felons but keeps them in squalor pays them a hundred dollars a week and feeds them off of of the same truck he feeds the tigers. Which is expired Walmart meat. What do you hear about the meth head stuck at the bus station and thought, ooh, I might find an employee here.

She has no place to go there. I did a lot of research this week about the show. I saw an AMA with someone who used to work with Joe Exotic, and he defended the whole paying these guys very little amount of money. He's like, hey, that $100 or $150, whatever it is, that's what you start out at. You've got to keep in mind these people are felons right out of prison with drug problems.

You can't open them up with a $500, $600 a week like salary. They're going to take it, spend it all on drugs and probably kill themselves right away. So you've got to see who's going to be a loyal, dependable employee. He's like, when I worked there, those trailers were pretty nice. It did not look like that. I started out at $150 a week. I worked my way up to $600 a week. And because you have no cost there because he's feeding you, he's handling your room and board and you stay busy. So you stay away from drugs for the most part. He said, at least I did. I left there ahead in life. It was a good experience for him. He was very honest about the nonsense that goes on there as well, though.

The man has two husbands who are both straight men. That was the craziest part. That was the craziest when Kyle laid it out. How does that work? So that, alright Joe Exotic is the star of our show and he's gay and he sees this guy come in and he's an attractive guy

he's younger, he's fit, he's tall, he's athletic and he's like are you straight or gay? And the guy says I'm straight. He goes younger. He's fit. He's tall. He's athletic. And he's like, you know, are you straight or gay? And the guy says, I'm straight. He goes, huh. When you watch porn, do you like to see a small dick having sex with a woman or a big hog? And the guy says, well, I guess I prefer a bigger dick. And he goes, well, you're not that straight.

With a little bit of time, they're fucking. Now, how does it really work? He supplies their drugs. These guys are pretty much gay for pay, but they marry him. You know, they have a wedding ceremony. A three-way wedding. A three-way wedding.

The tooth situation on that show is unnerving. There's another character. So you might be thinking, like, all right, what are the other characters like? You know, we already dealt with the polygamist. No, there's another polygamist. This man named Doc. Don't think he's a medical doctor or a doctor of anything, frankly. Yeah, he's not a doctor of English.

He's got like five or six wives in some sort of yoga-based cult. That's way more impressive than having a doctorate in some sort of yoga based cult also has hundreds of tigers rides around town on a goddamned elephant incredibly manipulative and like there's a part where maybe you remember this taylor where like he's showing some tigers off for the camera and one of his wives comes out and like she's got the tiger on a chain and the chain rubs across his shirt and he goes he goes oh well now my shirt's stained because the chain wasn't cleaned properly and it's just like oh you're in trouble bitch you're in trouble now you're grounded in your

house yeah and that he drives down his like estate where he his zoo, and he's just pointing and that's Meredith's house, and that's Susie's house, and that's Joanna's house. Not bad homes. Not really nicer than the Tiger King's place. Man's got like two, three million dollars worth of homes. Easy. Must. Must. Yeah. Is it Myrtle Beach?

Is that okay? Yeah, Wings lives right next to this guy, by the way. How? He should go oh he should go he should go like he should go imagine the now that would be a popular that would be content oh my gosh yeah he should go do it wings he should go to the fucking tiger park is it open at the end of no probably no they were saying like you know how they do little updates it was like uh yeah in december 2019 uh some sort of authorities like went in and inspected Doc Antle's zoo or whatever. So maybe it's not even open.

If it is, let me check real quick. I guarantee my guess. 100% open. Tell me what the woman's name. Carol something. That Carol fucking Baskins. So Carol Baskins. I hope that she dies.

How many times did he say that on camera? A billion. Everyone hates Carole Baskin. Everybody, everybody, everybody hates Carole Baskin. There are people in America who've decorated their homes to the hate of Carole Baskin. This Tiger King thing has swept the nation. All right. I'm going to be contrarian here.

Are we sure she's the worst person on this show? Yes, she's not even funny okay she's the worst person on the show and that is really saying something okay there's the one guy who's like literally a criminal and stole the zoo right and and he's and i don't know who's dressing him hello fellow kids i'd like a new wardrobe please with his fucking fake ass ferrari and his rented mansion and his skinny jeans with three layers of tops on top the do-rag and hat combo jeff jeff low yeah good job huge con man super fucking gross so gross that dude is like a rough 50 years old or something like that and like dressing like he's at the x games or something i don't know yeah he's got like a bandana on

under his hat and then like a leather letterman jacket looking coat with a goofy he wore a black oakley hat to that funeral and that what and you didn't even notice it or think anything of it because joe exotic wore a fucking chaplain's collar to that same fucking funeral and it was his husband's funeral he was wearing a cowboy hat and a chaplain collar and talking about the man in the caskets balls yeah how he'd rub them golden nuggets all over my face is Is that what he said? That's what he said. He said, when I was stressed out sometimes, sometimes he would just,

he'd come right over. I'd be working on something, doing a call. And he put those balls right in my face. And his like mom's in the front row of a kid who just died. And it's like, this is all of you are reprehensible. There's a part where a guy pulls up in some sort of a three wheel,

like hot rod type scat wagon. And there's a skeleton riding shotgun. And it doesn't even occur to you to question it at this point, because things are already so insane. I'll give you another one. The crocodilians that were burnt alive in the arson fire. They don't even bother telling you that those belong to Michael Jackson because it's already so fire, they don't even bother telling you that those belong to Michael Jackson because it's already so insane. You don't even need that information. So I think like we can go through our predictions on this, you know, this isn't really a spoiler show, but I guess you've already been talking about it. I don't think you can spoil this shit. You can't really, you really can't.

I'm telling you like, like, like we've touched on a few key points there's dozens of more shocking moments dozens it is it's one of the most entertaining shows i've watched in a long time but i i think i think that he definitely did not hire a hitman to kill carol baskin i think that jeff and that other guy set him up with it because it just doesn't. And ironically, it was that sociopathic and doc Antle guy who was like, no,

of course I don't think that Tiger King did any of this. He's not smart enough for that. He's smart enough to know that you don't hire a new friend who's now screwing you over his former business partner for $3,000 to go kill someone. It doesn't make sense. How are people buying this? Was he just not smart enough and too smart in the same argument?

Yes. Yeah. That's Greenville. He was saying he's not smart enough to orchestrate a grand thing, which is kind of what they were trying to accuse, but he's too smart to do this tiddlywink nonsense that they're trying to pawn off as a grand conspiracy if that makes sense my my thing kind of fits occam's razor i think but i think he did do it and that

jeff low goaded him on that you know he kind of oh yeah they set him up they just goaded him on they kind of encouraged him to go down this path and he did and then he's the only one that got in trouble. Yeah. He took the rap for everybody. Carol Baskins absolutely killed her fucking husband. I think she fed him to tigers. I think that, yeah. That would be my guess.

They reopened that case in real life. I like the memes of her with a teardrop photoshopped on under one of her eyes. Because the other guy that he hired to do the killing also had the teardrop tattoo, and that meant he killed someone. Oh, I just followed that. Carol Baskin,

oh, she was the animal rights side of this, right? And then they looked at her tigers, and they said, what's so animal rights about this? Your grass is too tall, this and that but and then they also knocked her for only having 10 tigers only showing 10 where the rest of those tigers at that maybe they knocked her for that because she claimed to have hundreds right yeah but if she only if there were only 10 tigers that we could find maybe these tigers had better enclosures

right joe exotic really did keep his animals in tiny cages at the very end he's like yeah i feel kind of bad i have these two chimpanzees chimpanzees by the way they're like children in cages next to each other for decades decades and now they're taken from me they're near each other and i saw them hugging they could have been friends all this time but instead they were in cages separated and And now they're taken from me. They're near each other. And I saw them hugging. They could have been friends all this time, but instead they were in cages separated. And maybe I was bad for doing that. Yes.

Yes. You were bad for doing that. That's what he said. He's like, was I wrong for doing that? Yeah. He had 187 tigers, but then he said,

87 tigers, you know, they were in like little dog poop training kennels, right? Like, like tigers. Am I the only one here who doesn't give a fuck what training kennels, right? Well, tigers. Am I the only one here who does give a fuck what they do to those tigers? I don't care if they're fucking them.

I don't care if they're torturing them. I don't care if they're butchering them and serving up tiger steaks in there. I just want them to be breeding the biggest tigers. That's important. That's important. That's why I liked when I saw Doc had a liger That'd be cool They had the liger

Doc had a liger He was hilarious He was like you know you can't call him a liger The animal rights guys get all mad at you But we got him I forget how he phrased it She goes well what is that then Oh it's a liger

Is that how he said it Yeah yeah She goes, well, what is that then? Oh, it's a liger. Is that how he said it? Yeah. Yeah. He was super minute. He was the smartest guy in the room for sure. Granted it's a small room, but, but doc is the smartest guy in the room for sure. Like you could tell how manipulative he was when the cameras first showed up and he's like, all right, well, um, let's set it up this way. I'll answer the door and then I'll greet you and then you'll come in and he's all right put the camera over here he's like directing the cameraman for the documentary and they're like i think he's

a better document uh better director than you dave ha ha ha and i'm just like i think he's super manipulative this is a guy who's a bit of a sociopath he's thinking two steps ahead of everybody at least he thinks he is at least he's trying to be this is a scary kind of guy i keep trying to like stack rank in my head who of the you know this menagerie of characters who is the worst and i'll start thinking and i'll be like man but that's pretty fucked up what tiger king did with those online shows like shooting uh you know dolls of her and effigy, and then, you know,

threatening to kill her. Oh, but then that one guy, yeah, he did like kill someone in the past. And it's like, oh, Carol,

she probably killed her husband. These people are all so terrible. Just because they're murderers. Okay. So I don't draw a big distinction between murder and attempted murder. When I evaluate people, they both have the same spirit, right?

Good at murdering. You are exactly. But in terms of how good or bad they are, I admire a man who's good at what he does. and attempted murder when I evaluate people. They both have the same spirit, right? Good at murdering you are. Exactly. But in terms of how good or bad they are, I admire a man who's good at what he does. If you're going to murder, get it right. So to say that she's the worst because she killed her husband, oh, no. There's at least three people who have murderous spirits.

Jeff Lowe, the Tiger King, and her. Here's another thing about her. Someone who lives up there in Myrtle Beach, they're like, wait, he picked her up on Jefferson Avenue? Nobody's just walking on Jefferson Avenue. She was hooking. And if you think about the way that night went on, Carol Baskins was a hooker.

That's what had happened. He picked her up in the car and took her to a motel and fucked her right away wow oh my gosh why didn't i think of that well because we don't know that area we don't know what jefferson street is but that makes sense now i've been reading up on this so much like like apparently the the guy with the black suit and cowboy hat that you probably think is like neutral chaotic or something you know on that on that scale of like the director dude who did all the yeah yeah yeah you probably think he's like the coolest guy of them all he's like all right well he was just

trying to make a living here make a cool reality show he even said yeah this was my retirement somebody was like he was the director at a news program i worked at. He would sell pills in the parking lot, and he would sexually harass the women constantly. He was fired. When I saw him on my television, I felt violated all over again. What? No, that guy was cool. He just sat there smoking cigs.

You know who was cool, I thought? The guy who had the little monkey that he was constantly feeding the same food he was eating into his own mouth. He was financing the second zoo with Jeff L lowe after like the first uh oklahoma zoo had went under he was getting they're getting close to the texas border that guy seemed a-okay he was just a financier looking for a partner wanting to get into the zoo business had a few dozen animals of his own this jeff lowe guy had hoodwinked him and he had a cool little fucking monkey that guy

i want to know that monkey's name i wanted to know i also wanted to know more about the monkey guy but it was it was funny like that red-haired bowl cut guy in the beginning just that whole i think i even said on pkm where he's like the animal world now monkey people they're weird they're just weird big cat people they will stab you in the back traitorous and it's like it's so funny he was so right yeah that guy he was just he's sitting there like i'm trying to build the monkey guy hey he has the monkey in his shirt just sitting in there with the monkey's little head popping out right here and he's just working a you know a backhoe trying to dig up uh plots and he's like i'm building the zoo by myself here because i got screwed by jeff i don't have time for. And he's like taking a little bit of cucumber and feeding it to his monkey.

So I want to get off the tiger King soon. Cause I know Quev hasn't seen it. You should watch it. I promise you. You'll take another day off. I'm getting paid for this. Every, every time.

Coupon code FPS. Um, I, every, every, every, every time you watch, um,

not true. They, um, am I the only one here who actually Googled how to buy a tiger? I did not look into it. Oh, I did not want to own a tiger. I have Googled how to buy monkeys a lot, though.

Somewhere in the middle of episode one, when they're just like, and he's like, yeah, for $1,800, you can get one of these man killers. I was just like, fuck. Ain't no law against felons having Siberian tigers. Let's go. He's like, yeah, for $1,800, you can get one of these man killers. I was just like, fuck. Ain't no law against felons having Siberian tigers. Let's go.

So are you getting one? I'm going to be like Mike Tyson up in here. I got an extra bedroom. He can stay in this room. Imagine he's just peering, like pacing back and forth behind me, looking through bars. I went down that path with the wolf. I'm not doing it with the tiger. No.

The wolf was also my idea. Yeah. A bad one. Well, you know. A cool one. I think the castle might have been my idea. I have cool ideas for other people to try. I think the castle might have been mine. It could have been, but I supported it fully. In fact, I found you a castle.

There's some really cool castles over here in the Netherlands. Actual, legit, real, real castles. Oh, yeah. See, that's what sucks about America. Settlers got here too late to make castles. It was like post-castles.

There's castles, and then inside you realize there's two by four studs, and it meets building codes and stuff. Yeah, it's like, I want like old school European- Where's the dungeon? That would be cool to visit. I've never visited a real castle. Not one parapet! What's a parapet?

Isn't it those little- It's one of those, isn't it like the conical thing with the walkway around it? I think it's the little- Oh, sure. Like a rook from Spire Arrows. It's a missile that you walk the spiral staircase in. Yeah, exactly.

The pointy hand on top. Maybe something to shoot arrows out of. So yeah, I fucking love Tiger King. I'm going to watch it again. I think I'm going to watch it again because there was too much content for me to digest it all. There is a subreddit called Tiger King.

If anybody who's listening to this who is like me and loved the show and everything, and you just want to have fun with the memes, because people are making great, really funny memes and all sorts of... They're digging into the background, and they get some AMAs from people who are associated. Tiger King on Reddit. Yeah, can't recommend it more. What's the doctor's

name again? Doc Antle. A-N-T-L-E. His park is still operational. However, it's closed because of COVID. Ah. The wings could go there. That's what I was going to look up. After the COVID. Right, right. I heard it's going to look up. After the COVID. Right, right.

Well, I mean, I heard it's going to be over in a few days. Yeah, it's like it's really winding down. No, Queb, I promise it's not going to get any worse. It's just the flu, bro. Queb, are you calling Donald Trump a liar? No, I'm calling him a genius. That's more like it. read this book it's called it's called win bigly i by the way i'm not american i can't vote anyway

but i know i don't think i would even vote but it's about how i'm an american i can't vote congratulations um it's it's a book about um how donald trump uh used mass manipulation to win the presidency and things like this where he says oh it's gonna be uh it's gonna be fine whatever um you know gets people talking about him and you know you don't talk uh about any of the other presidential candidates like he you talk about Donald Trump during dinner. He's definitely more entertaining, and so people talk about him more. Joe Biden, has he said anything in forever?

Yes, he started a lot more this week. Yeah, he spoke poorly twice more this week. In what? It came out that he has donated, I don't want to get the number wrong, but let's call it $2.5 million dollars to the like um the the me too organization or whatever and the the theory is that's to keep them from bringing up the woman who's accused him of literally raping her so it didn't work because i heard about that yeah but that organization isn't it's the same who about

sometimes i feel like you know joe biden will speak eloquently for 98% of an interview. I think we're going to the same place. And then we look at the 2% and say, what a doofus this guy is. Look at how he's fading and breaking down. Not this time. He did what I'll call his worst performance in recent times, where he just seemed lost.

You know, they'd ask him a question, and he's like flipping through his notes to find the answer. I would like a president who knows the answers, not who is looking through the answers that were prepared on his behalf. It was a really bad look. Dude, what's he going to look like

four years from now if he did win? It was a really bad look, and I agree with Woody 100%. Look, I hate the guy, right? I'm a Bernie bro, you know? Let's have a revolution here. Bernie gang? I'm a Warren stan.

Well, I want him to legalize marijuana and expunge my record, so Bernie bro for life, as far as I'm concerned. I am a single fucking issue non-voter, as I like to say. Come to Amsterdam. Come to Amsterdam. Move over. I'm not allowed, motherfucker. Who the judge was going to legalize it And expunge records

There are counties in my state that I can't go to Most of them He has to hang out in his little quadrant Because of the The weed situation Yeah I'm on federal probation I'm on federal probation for another year and a half Yeah

I have to get piss tested regularly No Not anymore Well they have called off piss testing old Kyle here it would appear because I call my number every day I was going to ask you still check daily even Oh yeah I don't want to miss a day and have to deal

with somebody I'm glad that you take it so seriously because I don't want to get too distracted but there is this thing that happens to the TSA when they check luggage. And the fact that only like, I'll make up a number, you know,

one in 5,000, 15,000, like you just actually have a problem. It's easy to get complacent. You pass it through and there's like a 99.9% chance you were right to pass it through. So if I called 30 days in a row and they didn't call my number

on day 31, I would be very tempted not to call. I call that shit every fucking day. Um, uh, except for weekends cause I don't have to, but yeah, um, I, my, my, I'm allowed to petition for an early, um, cutoff of my probation after half of it's been done, which would be sometime in October or November or whatever. So my thought process is I would like to go into that with like a perfect record. You know, I, I would like, I would like my probation officers to speak highly of me and have good reports on me and, and all that sort of thing. So I try to tell you how likely that is with like, you know, it's 50, 50 shot, or is it like is it like if you keep your ducks in a row, pretty much 100%? I don't want to go into the nitty-gritty.

I can explain it to you later. But I'm not too hopeful. I would say my personal opinion, I haven't talked to my lawyers about this because it's very expensive to talk to them. And I'm going to wait until we get a little closer until it actually matters. Because, you know, I talked to them today, and then maybe they forget we talked about it. And when I asked them in October, and now I've just spent an extra $550. So I'll wait until we're a little closer to the due date on that one. But there's a few.

A lot of people have to agree that I'm ready for freedom. You feel like some of the government guys are not going to agree, no matter how wonderful you are. They might be anti-government. Would a letter of recommendation from me help? Not in the slightest. What about for me? What about for me?

That would be even worse. That would be even worse. A foreign national lobbying to get manned out of... Taylor Quip, this may be news to you, but cranium size has no bearing when you write a letter to the federal government

we can start a petition on change.org we'll get signatures don't worry about it we'll get signatures from 100,000 people that's okay we could we can just make it happen I just want the one signature

it'll be just fine I just want the one signature. It'll be just fine. I just want the only one that fucking matters. Yeah, yeah. The people that matter don't give a fuck what you people think about any fucking thing. I promise you. I've been in scary rooms with them. Where there are no...

In scary rooms? Were you ever hot light on your face like did you smoke the marijuana were they trying to ever like sweat you where you got like that cookie lamp did you eat the cookie you know you know like like i i i i watch on tv or whatever you know lawyer lawyer lawyer i want my lawyer nope that, that's lawyer. You are very smart. I have a question about interacting with the lawyer.

If I was paying, I think you said $550 an hour with my lawyer. Each. Each, okay. If I was paying $1,100 to talk to my pair of lawyers, I think I might be really rude. Like you mentioned a situation where they explained to you how probation works and then they re-explain it. I'd be like, skip.

Let me tell you a little story. Let me tell you a little story. I had a meeting with these gentlemen one day and it's me, both my attorneys. Kitty's there. She's got notes and stuff because she's been my go-between at times, and we're going over things. And I'm trying to speed through this motherfucker, right?

Then I realize we're going the full hour. That's the... Oh, no. Like, we're going the full hour. There's no 45-minute sessions once you sit down at the table. I might as well start racking my mind and asking silly questions. You know, anything. Well, I mean, what do you think is going to happen in the next election?

Well, you know, I've got a friend. Just ask them anything they might know about that you might want to know about. Why we're all sitting here. Because we're staying for the full hour. I felt like I had all of my questions answered in half an hour and then i realized no we're going the full 11 hundo today this is but we're getting it done you get all your questions they answer them and then they kind of just filibuster and they just reiterate they just reiterate my impression is that that only happened because you were being polite. Could you have said like, you know what, guys, 30 minutes in, I feel like this is a win.

I got to split. You know, I probably could have, but I wanted these guys to like me and work hard for me. And so if that costs $525 extra, I was willing to pay that expense. I really liked my lawyers uh personally and professionally i thought they were an excellent pair i had a lawyer before um he was more expensive um i i we asked mo you know um oh yeah we're like i was like i want the best attorney in atlanta do you know anybody he's like oh yeah'm going to get you the big Jew. I go to this fucking law firm and this high rise in Atlanta and it's impressive. The elevator opens and everything's carved wood on the walls and everything. The carpet's even fancy and there's

music playing. I'm just like, I think I'm going to end up paying for some of this music and carpet and wood carvings in just a minute here. And sure enough, but I would have phone conversations with that guy and 15 minute sections. And I'm looking at my watch and I'm just like eight minutes, nine minutes, 10 minutes, 12, 13. At 14, I start wrapping that bitch up because I know I'm still getting a bill for $200. It's coming for 15 minutes of conversating with this motherfucker. All right, Smooly. Take care. Take care.

Bye. So why was he a bad fit? I'm curious. Oh, that was a whole different thing. That was a whole different thing. He was too big and Jewish. Yeah, yeah. Is he the guy that helped with the

explosive permits? Yeah, yeah. Well, I've had a couple of them where... My legal fees have been extensive. I've known a quartet? Quintet. Quintet! A quintet of attorneys.

I believe that's five, right? That is. That is. There you go. Yeah. So some good, some cheap, some expensive, some bad. I don't go into it, but they're going to pay. I'm glad you got good ones now.

I don't need them anymore. I'm glad you had good ones in the end. Yeah, I had good ones for this one. You really think you'll get that one attorney to pay? Yeah, he's going to have to pay. His insurance will have to pay. Take that, bitch. He did a poor job, and it's provable that he did a poor job.

There are transcripts of what he did, and it's negligent. In any case, I had another lawyer that was like $50 an hour, and I'd use him for everything. You get this? I'm like, $50 an hour, and I'd use him for everything. You get this? I'm like, $50 an hour for a man with $300,000 worth of fucking school debt?

I never dig out of that hole, buddy. No, I just called to chat. I had a free attorney. I really like her. She's in my phone. I forget her name. But when we were getting this house renovated, there were all kinds of issues. You guys remember Jamal and Ed and those guys.

Contractors. Yeah, all the contractors. And they're hitting us with giant extra bills. We agreed on a price. And he's like, yeah, it's another $13,000. Because he'd suggest things or whatever. And I'd be like, that is a good idea. Not knowing that it was like $13,000 worth of extra stuff. And,

and eventually, you know, so I called her and I was like, you know, he doesn't want to finish and this and that. And it's a problem. He's months behind schedule. And she would give me advice and I'm, I'm wanting to pay her. And she's like, for five minute phone call. No, I just want you to like me for the next time around when you have legal problems, you know, for five minutes. This isn't the kind of thing that I bill for. So, yeah, next time I have trouble, I'll hit her up.

Yeah, I mean, you know, the $50 an hour guy, like I had him dealing with all my machinima contract nonsense. And I would have him like whenever my dad wanted a will drawn up or a trust drawn up i'd send him to that guy because friendly smart guy who knew what he's doing you know he was just small town lawyer and he's like my age so like i can talk to him i want to throw out life advice for people who may be in the same position i was a few years ago if you agree on a price and the contractor comes back and hands you more invoices. These are the words. That is an unapproved change order. If you didn't sign it and agree to an additional price, it's an unapproved change order.

And when he hears those words, he'll know that it is an unapproved work order, that you guys didn't agree to a new price. I've had it. I've had it. Oh, yeah? I bet because you're real estate ventures. Yeah, we just said, i'm not paying and uh you know my mom takes care of it because here in the netherlands if i'm not allowed to work on my real estate stuff because then it's considered work and if i get other people to work for me and take care of it then it's considered capital gain

which is a lot less taxed so So my mom, she's savage. She's just like, no, no, we're not paying. Thank you for doing the work, but we're not paying. And then eventually... Nice one, Trump. Yeah. They really like my mom for standing up, and now we've been doing business together with these guys

for a few years, actually. And, you know, whenever they tried to screw us over, every now and then, we're like, nope. We're not doing that. You sneaky bitch. Thought you'd sneak one past the goalie. Not today. Not today, because mom's in net. And nothing gets into mom's five.

We were talking about conspiracy theories. There was a gentleman who believed a conspiracy theory earlier today. I don't know if you know about this He derailed a train and tried to hit the US Navy ship that is providing medical care With a train with a train. How does that work? How do you hit a boat with the trend that the train tracks head right toward the boat? Like like you can look and the trains here and like the boats just right over there like like it's theed and you could just over the tracks end the tracks end and he just kept going

skidding across concrete asphalt through cars through a chain link fence through barriers is there a video of this i don't think of the crash but there's images of it yeah i got a damn that's crazy god what a, so why was he doing this? He said that ship is not there for what they're saying it's there for. It's a big, yeah, right? I don't know. I took my headphones off for a moment, but there's a Navy ship called the Mercy,

and it is a floating hospital. A lot of times America uses it for like diplomacy, right? Tsunami hits Singapore or something. We'll send the Mercy out there and it produces a lot of fresh water and can help people and treat the sick and the injured and such. Cool. Well, New York is having a problem.

So they're taking the Mercy and they're sailing it to New York as a floating hospital because they need some help there. Cool. This train driver does not believe that that is the Mercy's true mission. He thinks something wacko.

Do we know what he thinks it is? He said that they're concealing what it's really there for, and he's trying to get the message out and that they can't hide it anymore. I believe it was in Cali because there's one in California, one off the coast of New York. We've got two of them on each coast, one on each coast. Okay. So what is – it was a guy... Someone didn't hijack the train.

This was the conductor of the train. Yeah, his normal job is to drive the train. And this time he decided to just speed on through and try to hit the ship with his train. Yeah. Did he get close? That's crazy. Closer than you would think you could get to hitting a boat with a train.

Do we have pictures? I'm looking for a picture. There's plenty of pictures of the train. They're too close up i want to see they're too close like the big scene yeah yeah i want to see like from the rear of the train pointed toward the boat which is i saw the video of that on fox news earlier um sling tv by the way is how i stream um cable channels and such uh it's a great service uh and And I get CNN from them normally because it's part of the package I pay for. Well, I guess they're giving everybody like free access to a bunch of other channels. And now I've got Fox News.

And now I get the truth. And so I was watching Fox News. And yeah, they had good video footage of this nonsense. 44-year-old train engineer behind bars accused of intentionally driving a locomotive off the tracks in the port of Los Angeles, all because of a bizarre conspiracy theory. Eduardo Moreno. Uh-oh. Good old

Eduardo. A bad hombre if I've never, ever heard one. They're driving our trains into boats. What do you want me to say? I'm tired of it. People may call to say? I'm tired of it. People may call me crazy. I'm tired of immigrants. They asked Trump at the press conference yesterday.

They're like, sir, we've seen a big uptick in domestic violence. He goes, Mexican violence? Did he say that? Yeah. No, domestic violence. He's like, oh. He was really hoping. You It was really open there. You really got me excited there for a sec.

I read that people were scared that domestic violence victims would be trapped in their homes with their abusers. And my knee-jerk reaction was like, oh, my God. You people will find anything to complain about like is this really a big widespread problem maybe i was wrong is it really like how would they know like how could anybody know like two weeks into u.s quarantine where they're like everybody's getting wives all over the country getting fucking you know lit up with fists and elbows every night like How could you possibly know? Is there an influx of calls? Police reports.

Is there actually? I don't know. Yes, that was the news story. When I read about it, they were worried it would happen. It's theorized. No, she was asking about, hey, there's been a big uptick in domestic violence. So it's not happening, it's just theorized. No, it is happening. Woody saw it a week ago when it was theorized, and then I saw it yesterday when they were talking about the uptick in domestic violence across the country and what Trump thinks about that. To his credit, he had a really good answer.

He didn't focus on the single issue. He expanded and expounded. He said, hey, you're going to see all sorts of problems. You're going to see problems with drug addiction, suicide, mental these are these are problems that have plagued us for a long time and this is only going to exacerbate these issues that's why we've got to take this virus on head on it was just like shit that was a good fucking answer that is a good answer i thought it was gonna be a goof like to his credit he expanded, my ratings are great. Everybody's watching. You know what else is on the uptick?

Trump. I have a PowerPoint presentation here. I wonder how this is going to play out. So I'm of two minds, right? I can imagine a scenario where we get on the other side of this before November and Trump looks like a hero for curing the coronavirus somehow, right? He will definitely say he did and that he led the nation and we won a war against an invisible enemy and things like that. Cool.

You can also play sound bites of him again and again saying there's 15 cases like magic. It will drop to zero playing over caskets of 100,000 dead bodies. You can only play those sound bites if you want a little lawsuit on your hands. So good luck with that, my friend. Why is there a lawsuit involved in holding him? Because Trump's making it happen. He doesn't care for it when you play those soundbites. Yeah, well, that doesn't matter.

People will run them anyway. Yeah, you're damaging national security. We're not going to have that. I would be wary of playing those clips on this show. On this show? I mean, we know the NSA, hard scoping PK. I can see the Democratic messaging around some of his early lines where he failed to recognize the severity of this coronavirus issue

for the first month or whatever it was, first three weeks. And it just depends on whether, I don't know which side of it will get traction yeah we'll see we'll see um it could go either way i agree with you 100 100 um i still think that bernie has a very narrow path as he puts it to to victory here i think that biden is so frail and fragile no i i think that he's done. Bernie? Yes. Yes, Bernie. I think that Biden could die before fucking November, dude.

Yeah, I think everybody's on that team. I think everybody's on that team, too. And I think that Biden is in that top 1.1% of people. Especially with the coronavirus going around, guys. Not only is he old, he looks frail. Extra weak and frail. The only reason I haven't paid Kyle his $100 where he said it was going to be Bernie or Biden is I am holding out hope that when Biden dies, surely in the next couple of months that's going to happen, that someone other than those two.

Now, the bet was who would be announced at the national convention. That was the bet. And I believe it's possible that if for some reason Biden doesn't get it, even though it seems like he's going to earn it, if Biden doesn't get it, maybe he dies, that they'll pick someone else. Maybe Cuomo. Maybe probably Buttigieg.

He's the one everybody wants. Can you do that? Wouldn't that just kind of take their entire primary process and be like, no, we're not going with the second runner-up. We're just going to pick a new guy. The answer is you can do that legally. They could pick Woody.

They could pick Woody. It would be a bad move. What an unfair system. It's not meant to be fair. It's a party system. This is not a government body. This is not a governmental body of any kind this is a private organization this is this is no different than the fucking moose club or the fucking masons that's 100 right but it doesn't feel right it does feel like the democratic party is supposed

to be a government organization oh it's wrong that it exists that way but i'm right that it does exist that way agreed and agreed yeah yeah you're gonna be pissed if it's like all right number one guy dies, number two guy's Bernie, and then they just swoop in and it's like, nope, we're going with this fucker over here. What better way to alienate Bernie Bruce? I can't name the specifics, but it's absolutely happened before where there was a frontrunner going into the convention and there was a lot of backroom handshaking and fucking blackmail. Cigar smoking. and there was a lot of backroom handshaking and fucking blackmail and yeah like it's it's a it's a key plot point in that in boardwalk empire where like i think it was uh hardened i think hardened uh there it was the hardened candidacy or something like that where like nucky thompson's backroom dirty politician friends were like, oh, you think that guy's going to be president? And they're like, yeah, he's leading all the polls.

He's going into the convention riding high. I'm like, no, no, no. Meet Billy here. We're making him president. It was just like, shit, they are making him president. And they just do. They just do. The votes keep coming in.

They do the votes over and over like when they're looking for a new pope right and finally the fucking black smoke comes out the chimney and it's somebody you didn't think it was going to be yeah yeah that is how it works um they've tried to make it less like that you know they remove super delegates for example uh so that one guy doesn't start with a giant lead and they're practically compelled if the guy gets is it 60 i forget what the number is but if you get enough delegates if it's a narrow win then they decide in the back room if it's a widespread win then they don't but uh we'll see i'm i think there is a chance there is a path where people are just like all right all right all right i know the voters chose biden but seriously you know he's a flashlight with dim batteries headed

into the woods oh if he continues to embarrass himself and they realize the emperor's lights are a little dim um i think that that could happen like if he truly embarrasses himself like if he like had a fit like like like what if for example he challenged a union worker to a fist fight and a fat dude to a push-up contest? No, no, no. I'm talking about a humiliation. I'm talking about true humiliation. And for it to happen...

No, it's got to be worse than pooping his pants. First of all, it can't be some sort of telecast thing because they'll cut away. They'll cut away right away. It has to be all the cameras are there and there are cell phone cameras. Taking a picture with a Girl Scout troop with his dick out.

Like that might do it. He has to literally forget what year it is or like who his opponent is. He has to start thinking that he's the current vice president or something like that. He did something like that already. He was like,

when I was with Barack in 19... No, no, no. That's him misspeaking a little. He has to lose it He was like, when I was with Barack in 2000... No, no, no. That's him misspeaking a little. He has to lose it and then break down and cry. Yeah. Or if his teeth fall out all the way. People run with the misspeaking thing, I think, a little too much, right?

I'm sure I've said PKN when it's PKA on the show. And that's just a misspeak, right? Well, I don't want you to be president either. I would vote for any of those people. I'm going to be replacing you as the new host. We voted. We made the votes. I look way better than you. I'm funnier than you.

All these things are true. But if they would have run with it and be like, Woody doesn't even know what night it is. He doesn't know what show he's doing. He doesn't know where he is. He's confused. He's old. It's like, no, no.

You really made a lot out of swapping those letters. I mean, I already started with the intro this episode. That's true. It's in the works, boys. You've got a knack for it. Yeah, you know numbers and letters. It can't be argued with. There you go. He can order

them both. He speaks at least one language fluently, which is more than any of us can say. That's true. Yeah, that Biden, he... I don't think that he's like a genuinely insane person, but his level of misspeaking

is leaps and bounds more than mistaking P.K. Who thinks he raped that lady? I have no idea. I mean, he doesn't help his case with all the weird little hair sniffing of young girls. That's got to stop. He raped one lady? One lady? Those are rookie numbers.

You've got to pump those numbers up. You think you're banging this lady against a wall? My sponsors don't like this guys when you're vice president they let you do it they'll let you do it yeah i don't know um i think you might have raped that lady uh i think you might have uh and i i look i've never sniffed a child. Never. Not once. I don't know what a child smells like. They smell like baby powder if you get them fresh enough.

They must smell like fucking cotton candy to Joe Biden, though. That's all I'm saying. He goes after a child's nape the same way a dog goes after another dog's asshole. Isn't there a true blood thing where they love smelling them? What did he do? Well, Sookie smells smells delicious because she's a fairy so so that's you're kind of on point yeah yeah yeah to answer your thing you were saying what did he do because you're not american you don't know

there's if you just go into youtube and type in joe biden creep or something there are long compilations of him like standing behind like a fellow like a donor's wife and like young seven-year-old daughter and he'll like walk up behind the girl and like massage way too closely and like get down by their ear and like whisper and and like sniff the top of their head and like reach around in hugs that are way too touchy feel and then so many photos of him like like grabbing around like girls and like public photographs and this the young girl's face is doing that like i don't know what to do right now yeah oh my god he's kind of the vice president so i that's one thing i don't like the other part of it i don't like is he

pretty much cucks these men right like he he just walks up he grabs the late you know their wife's waist you know puts his hand around his wife, maybe smells her hair, smells his kid's hair. And as the dad, I'm like, would I wrestle the vice president in this situation? I like to think I would. I like to think I'd go straight for a double leg takedown and say, no one touches my daughter. But no one does. All of them just sit there and say oh yeah sorry baby he's kind of a hair sniffer this is the democrats for the last four years

have been throwing a shit fit 24 7 we gotta get trump out we gotta get him out and it's like this is the guy this is the guy that you show up with? Yeah. Kissing your own granddaughter on the lips on TV? It must never happen, because I am positive he started sniffing some daughter's hair, and the dad was like, no! No! Hands off! Hands off!

That would be on the internet. That would be on Creepy Joe. That guy would be famous. I've seen a father pull the daughter away. Oh, subtly, gently, and with class. No, no, no. I need to do them Woody style where they want to fight on an airplane. I want some guy to say, like, fuck no.

We're staying in this ground. Right there. I mean, if you look at this image right here, he's going. There's tongue in that second. Who's, what's his name? Is that his daughter? That's his granddaughter. He's kissing her right on the mouth like he's tom brady he doesn't have a single championship he can't

kiss children on the mouth that's grandchildren are fertile ground for hookups going for the cheek and that they pause it not only is that on the mouth i've got a completely separate image of him kissing his granddaughter on the with. With a different granddaughter. Okay, okay. Yeah, he's a creep. Also, Joe Biden's granddaughter, super hot. Yeah, you know, first of all, you're not giving Joe Biden enough credit for the chicks he's pulling, right? What? Oh, I'll see you on Thanksgiving, sweetheart.

Guys, it's not normal to do that outside of America, okay? It's not normal here. that outside of america okay let me you know it's not normal you guys know smell this woman's hair or whisper into her ear or something and and it's bad and i'm like the the blue team defender on here and this behavior is just not okay although kissing your granddaughter of all trump's nicknames, Creepy Joe is going to stick the most because it really does resonate, I think. It's hard to rank them. There's a couple that really stick. There's a couple really funny ones.

I wish you had one about Graham that was gayer. Lightenloafers Lindsey or something. Oh no, he wouldn't do that. They're on the same team these days. These days? Lindsey Graham was eloquent the other day. Lindsey Loafers is funny wouldn't do that. They're on the same team these days. These days, but they're... Lindsey Graham was eloquent the other day. Lindsey Lofers is funny. I like that. Lindsey Light and the Lofers

Graham was eloquent on the floor of the center of the house, whatever the fuck he is. He was talking about people arguing for more pork in the stimulus bill, and he didn't have any notes. That man can speak.

He was, he's, he's a fucking orator. I got to say, like, I don't care for that guy. I don't like his politics per se, but God damn,

I watched him for a solid 20 fucking minutes or something like that. He didn't stutter. He was talking about big things. He was going over the stimulus bill down to like the teens of billions that were being spent. And the most important 18 billion, maybe the most important 18 billion that we'll ever spend is going to this and that. And he was explaining that like it's going to pay these drug companies to push ahead with experimental drugs, even if they're before the testing phase like like essentially the deal is like before they prove the drug works he wants them to get the wheels rolling on production and if it doesn't work out they're going to pay them anyway that

way that that way they don't have to it gives them an extra step and the government's ensuring parallel that's what i'm trying to say yeah the government's ensuring that that step that may not work out it's like it's like hey we might have a thing that works we don't know normally we keep production very small we'd make a hundred doses and test them for three months and they're like no no no let's get ready to make 10 million doses and if it doesn't work out we'll still pay you and generally and if it does work out then we're three months ahead i generally don't like lindsey grant but i do like it when politicians prove expertise in the details you know like it it's an area where trump kind of falls flat you know he just goes with his hunches and his gut and and navigates that way um it's an

area where bill clinton you guys were young in the 90s, but where Bill Clinton was really strong. He was always like deep in the weeds. Is that right? I may be messing my metaphors up, but he was always way in the details on his stuff and knew exactly what was happening. He was unstumpable on whatever the current issues were. How much longer is this press conference going to take?

I got like three hours left on this. Arguments to counter arguments. So yeah, that's cool about Lindsey Graham. Everybody made fun of Reagan for being dumb, but every time I go back and listen to him speak, God damn. Well, I mean, he had dementia and Alzheimer's in the end, right? In the end, yes.

That was our first female. Nancy Reagan was our first female president. She was running the show for like a year and a half easily. Nancy, you think? Maybe another circumstance of a president going down and his wife was stepping in. I don't recall. I would have guessed H.W. was in charge, right? That would be my guess, but I know not. I'm just guessing.

No, everything was going through Nancy. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Is she dead? Yeah, she died recently, I thought yeah um yeah i was watching a bunch of reagan shit the other day like all his one-liners and his jokes they're fucking hilarious and they they opened his working desk right the the desk that he was using when he passed away and there's there's a giant car not giant there's a cardboard box full of three by five cards,

front and back, jokes. It's jokes. He's got jokes for days. I'm trying to remember one of them. He was too old when he was running for reelection in the debate. Do you remember that one? I will not use my... They're like, Mr. Reagan, at 72 years old,

you will be the oldest person to ever run for president uh well i'm not going to take advantage of my opponent's inexperience and young age so i will not cover that topic his opponent was like 65 yeah he looks way older than he is but he is only like gray hair or whoever it was he's 65 65 over there. Yep. I don't know. It probably wasn't. He had one and he was talking about how in the Soviet Union, if you want a car, you've got to put down a deposit on this thing 10 years in advance because the cars go to the government.

They go to very special people. So if you're a regular civilian, you want a car 10 years in advance. And he said, so this fellow saved up his money, and he went down to the car store, and he gave him the deposit. And he said, all right, come back in 10 years, and we'll have your car ready for you. And he said, morning or afternoon? And they said, sir, 10 years from now, what difference does it make?

He said, well, the plumber's coming in the morning. they said sir 10 years from now what what difference does it make well the plumber's coming in the morning what the fuck does he sound like well he's reeking a little more damn it i need to that's pretty close that's pretty no that that's fading into nixon the futurama nixon this is my my Reagan accent this is my Reagan accent it's very soothing the guy was a fucking cowboy he's an actor he's delivering these campaign speeches

like he's playing Julius Caesar or something like that having a blast he's incredible at it, so good say what you want about Reaganomics trickle down. We're still trying it. We'll get it. Name just one 30-year stretch

that it hasn't worked at all. He bankrupted the Soviets. That's all that matters. God damn it. Hooray. Dirty Red. He had one about he said he was driving along. That was not even that funny.

Three-legged chicken speeds past. He's driving 50 miles an hour, and a three-legged chicken speeds past him, outrunning his car. He can't believe it. He follows the thing into a barnyard, and he pulls over. There's a farmer there, and he says, did you just see a three-legged chicken run through here? The farmer says, yeah, I breed them that way.

He says, yeah. Yeah. I like drumsticks and the wife liked drumsticks and Junior, he likes them too. So I figured I'd breed a chicken that three legs, three drumsticks. How do they taste? Well, I don't know. I haven't caught one yet. He just had oodles of these just these little funny little little one liners you know he was the they called him

the great communicator yeah funny guy um I was gonna ask Quib what are you up to nowadays

how's the video game thing how's real estate how's bud um cryptocurrency well we don't talk about cryptocurrency.

We might. Because of hackers. Because of hackers. I have no cryptocurrency. I've never had any cryptocurrency. It is definitely not stored away in a bank vault. On a USB drive thing.

All right. What bank? vault on a special usb drive thing yeah all right um what bank uh in cryptocurrency has it been okay for you like like you know everyone was pretty excited about it and its highs a few years ago you were on the show at the time it's down from those highs but there's more what you don't want to talk about at all i'm that kind of guy i'm like he'll go up he'll go down but in 10 years time he'll definitely go up so we'll see okay um real estate so a lot of you in my mind it's almost a cliche that youtubers get some money in their pocket they decide they need to put this into something that's real right because this is all bullshit internet jokes and and they buy real estate and then it seems like a few years later none of them have real

estate and you've bucked that trend do you see the same thing i do yeah yeah like they're they're like moguls in their first six months on how great things are you know you know why you know what's happening here these guys they get real estate what actually is happening is they get a really really crazy mortgage and they can just like barely afford uh to pay the mortgage every month and then their youtube channel dips and it's like well guess we're gonna have to start an only fans or something like that you know yeah and um you know how i've done it is i've i've built it up i actually yesterday bought a really really cool place um i can share some pictures if you guys want to see yeah for sure yeah is it in uh in the netherlands yes actually like you'll see it's like the most stereotypical amsterdam

uh thing you'll have ever seen in your life. Oh, sure. I've got an Amsterdam stereotype in my mind. Man, Woody, so many Amsterdam and Netherlands stereotypes in my head. I don't know which one to go with. That's my life, you know. I assume this house has wooden shoes. I don't know. You guys are making fun of my culture now, guys.

It's unacceptable, all right? Go back to your hamburgers and guns and your crazy president. And your horrible COVID epidemic. I just checked the list, though. Yeah, Netherlands is, I mean, it's a very small country compared to the US. Pictures in the Discord.

Very little. Over a thousand new cases today. Yes, that's why I'm staying inside. So you don't pay. You're fine, you're on the back side of it the u.s has 30,000 new cases today i don't know how many new cases today 30,000 is that one percent of 300 million or 0.1 that would be 0.1 right yeah there's no way to know two it two weeks. Two weeks, guys. And it'll be times 10. Yeah, well, I mean, yesterday...

The count's not even over, but yesterday finished 26,000. Webb, it won't be times 10, because we are not going to have 300,000 testing kits a day. I think we're at 50,000 now a day. They ramped up testing quick in the last week. I just sent the picture, by the way.

Oh, that's an awesome looking place. Lots of bikes. I know that about the Netherlands. There's probably a pot shop nearby. So what's specific? Do you own that entire corner building? It looks like it goes back down the alley. The one behind it, actually. I'm trying to find the second picture.

Here we go. Look how little those roads are. So I got this one yesterday. Like everything was finished up on April Fool's, which is pretty funny. But it's an investment property. And it's a bunch of stories. There's two shops, an apartment, a few short stay apartments in there too, which, yay, corona uh nobody's renting a short stay apartment is that like an airbnb do they have that yeah yeah think like booking.com

slash airbnb is in there um and it's in actually in the heart of amsterdam um it's like the most center central place there is pretty much that That's awesome. So I got it yesterday. It's probably my coolest thing I have in my portfolio. I have a few more things if you guys want to know. Sure. I don't have pictures of everything. I own a gas station. I've always thought about owning a gas station for like 20 years. Can I tell you my gas station story? It's short. Go, go, go, go. Yes. I love talking real estate, by the way. There was a gas station for like 20 years. Can I tell you my gas station story? It's short. Go, go, go, go. Yes, I love talking real estate, by the way. There was a gas station near my Apex home,

and nobody worked there. If you needed help, there was a button, and someone drove over. And there were, I was filling up, the owner was there, and I got to talking to him. And apparently, he and his three brothers all have three, he and his three brothers that's three families they all have families that live off two gas stations and my mind immediately went

to like oh that's not even a one-to-one ratio of gas stations to families apparently a gas station can support more than one family it's supporting in this case one and a half families i think yeah and uh um so i was like wow if a gas station can support a family then this is really cool and also it seems like a very small amount of work what do you do just call and have the tanks refilled every now and then you know soda and monster energy not even so if it had a convenience store you'd be right but it didn't it had just had a car wash and everything was automated nobody worked there a convenience store to me feels like a really high effort thing. Like there's a, I was going to say a million SKUs, but I don't know how many SKUs there are, 20,000. Like it seems like a lot in a convenience

store. And then you have employees that are not highly paid working at the convenience store, which almost necessarily means there's lots of turnover and you have employees that maybe aren't the sort that just come to work and are trouble free all the time. And I was like, man, a convenience store, hard work. Car wash gas station? Practically automated. Just swing by every day, look for vandalism, and that's your whole job. But there's huge investments in gas.

Like to own an Exxon station is something like three quarter million dollars or something holy shit every pump was 200 or 250 000 like it was a really big startup cost anyway that's my gas station thing so so um i'll go over all all my real estate i don't think i've ever even explained it online but i have the apartment i live in right now. It's 1,500 square feet. It has like a 500 square feet balcony. It's like my modern dream home, you know? So I got some cool art, this, that, whatever. Really nice location in Amsterdam.

Then I have another property, which is one of few design awards. It's a house. I used to live in it it it's made out of wood looks super cool um also in amsterdam and then i have what i like to call the gas station it's actually a building with a gas station right next to it so i own the entire building which includes a gym which is closed because of corona yay it has a car dealership also closed because of Corona. Yay. It has a car dealership, also closed because of Corona, a gas station, and three apartments. And these apartments are like on top of the gym.

Three or four apartments, I can't remember. And it's all being rented out. So the gas station, I don't actually own the shop in the gas station, but I do own the gas station building and and everything around it and i also get um a split of like the amount of gas they sell over there right so that's pretty cool um then i have another property and this these are all around amsterdam so it's like 10 minutes away from amsterdam i have one which is three apartments and three shops but it's actually two shops because one shop owns two shops in there and there's like a pet store in there and some other

thing i don't really know what's in there i don't know what's in there but i bought it yes does your mom handle the i guess the day-to-day business relations for you with all this? Yes, yes. So I'm not allowed to work on it, because if I do, then it's considered a job, and then I need to pay just normal job tax. Instead, it's an investment, and then it's considered capital gain, which means I do not pay any taxes over the money that comes in. Instead, I pay 1.5% per year over everything I've made or everything I own. Well, now go ahead. Do you want me to continue or it'll be like 30 minutes until we're done, guys.

I guess rather than detail everything, I have some, in America they would call the kind of income you're avoiding ordinary income, but you're outside America. So I might be off target on that. Now, my father used to do a lot of real estate. And one thing he told me is that oftentimes the real estate doesn't make money. It kind of stays afloat. And then the money is made at the end of the deal, right? So this thing has been paying its own mortgage for 15 years. And now it has a virtually paid off mortgage.

And you sell it and it's just a big cash income in your pocket. And sometimes people think they make money, but they're doing poor accounting. And they're not like, yeah, yeah, this thing. The rent rent's higher than the mortgage but they don't count for all the repairs and of course of course and and you know all my properties uh you know my the rental income that comes in it you know my bank account fills up um that's cool and all but where the real money is at is the fact that these properties go up in value right so they're on top of that their cash flow positive but not by a huge margin but their cash flow positive and then of course you know by the time you're my age you'll be styling in the value of

these things and that's the plan right and and you know you get a you get the highest the biggest mortgage you can get with the bank um this and that, great interest rates here in the Netherlands. But, for example, the property I live in right now, I bought it for 500K. Then I paid off some stuff. It came completely empty. I renovated the place. I ended up putting 650 in a total. And then two weeks ago, well, three weeks ago, someone came over and he appraised the place for 900k. So

I lived here for three years, made 250k just by living here. These are euros we're talking about? by living here is it euros we're talking about euros yeah yeah euros um and and that's it and you do that with all these properties uh you know this one i live in myself but sometimes you can rent it out you can get a mortgage from the bank at a very favorable interest rate um how hard does your mom work like is this a full-time job for her or something? No, no, no. So we have people who my mom reports to. So my mom is like my business assistant. And then we have a company which takes care of all these properties. So we pay them 4% of the profits that we make, like the rental income.

They take 4%. They make sure that rent's paid. They, like the rental income. They take 4%. They make sure that rent's paid. They make sure the toilets work. They make sure that if there needs to be a renovation, they will handle the renovation. Not the cost of it, but the supervision of it. No, yeah, they will contact the contractors. We pay the contractors.

And we have a bunch of properties they they take care of um want me to continue with the other properties sure maybe the best ones that are the coolest ones no no no we're almost done okay okay um some people are like oh you have like 40 properties i really don't um i i bought an office building uh like a proper building building like with parking lot um and and the cool thing about that one is that we're renting out an antenna on the back on the roof so there's just we have a roof and someone's like hey can i put an antenna on the roof pay Pay you money monthly? So we're like, yeah, sure. Go ahead. And then yesterday I acquired the canal villa is what the Dutch term is.

Because it's on the like a stereotypical Dutch canal. And then it's right there. And it has two shops and some short stay apartments in an apartment. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things holding me back from real estate is that I really want more jobs. And yeah,

the goings to go for stocks. It's fine. That's real estate. It's been my plan. I mean, right now, great time to buy. Go ahead,

Kyle. What are you thinking? I just watched a three minute video because I thought this was going to be a good topic for us of Chael's son and explaining that he had gotten a phone call from Joe Rogan this morning. That Dana has put Joe in charge of making sure that the Khabib Tony fight happens no matter what. And the deal is it might not even be in the same room.

They might not be in the same room. They may compete in an American Ninja Warrior type challenge where do a one-mile run and then heavy bag work, then power cleans and gymnastics and all of these things that they'll be judged on and they'll declare a winner that way. And he goes through this whole thing, how they're going to do this. And then he goes, I'm bringing this to you on April 1st.

And I just want to remind you all what suckers you all are. And that was the end of the video. And I was just like, motherfucker. You had me. I was like, all right, well, that's insane. But whatever. Put him on a camera somewhere. I want to see something.

Right. He had me for three fucking minutes there. Dan Khabib can serve a volleyball really far. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a mess that whole fucking thing is. I'm so upset.

I've been talking to all my, like, my non-MMA fan friends, my father. I'm like, look, there's a guy they call the Boogeyman. All right? And these are his last six opponents. They all look like they've been hit by trains. He's going to fight a guy who's known as the Dagestani Eagle who grew up wrestling bears. He's the guy who beat Conor McGregor into a casual-ish fan. That's like, so he wrestled Jesus, huh?

And they're finally going to face off for the fifth time. The first four times all got canceled, and it's happening next month. And this guy does nothing but take people down to the ground and smash them. And this guy does nothing but cut people apart with elbows that he has honed into weapons with some sort of a Hitachi magic wand that kills nerve endings. He does that by the way. I don't know if you've ever seen it. Yeah.

Oh, you know, I've seen every. And you tell anybody that who even, they don't have to be into combat sports. They're just like, holy fucking shit. Are you for real?

Yeah. This is really going to happen. Like we'll get to see this. They'll put cameras on it. No, no, it's not going to fucking. So for people who are not on this

story at all here's the scoop uh Khabib was in California I think and Tony was is he also in California or do you know where he trades Arizona New Mexico somewhere I don't know that's where Jones is right anyway it's not important they're both in America. And even though the one guy is Dagestani, which is maybe Russian, that confuses me. It's like the UK over there. They were a Soviet, they're one of the Soviet bloc countries, and they're still under Russian control. Oh. Alright. I'm still a level of confused, but we'll move on. So then they're Russian? Anyway. They're a state. Yeah then they're Russian, anyway.

So he's, a state, okay, that makes, anyway, so he's from Dagestan, and he's in America training. They hear that this is not gonna happen in America, that this is gonna happen in Abu Dhabi. So Khabib gets on a flight and goes to Abu Dhabi. He wants to acclimate, get used to the heat, the humidity, or whatever it is in Abu Dhabi you acclimate to.

Altitude? I have no idea. And he's going to finish his training there for the last two weeks. Cool. And then they say it's not going to be in Abu Dhabi. So he's like, well, fuck, I'm here. He goes back to Dagestan. He starts training in Dagestan. And now we find out that you can't leave Russia

so it's off but now it's not off because it turns out that you can leave Russia but only on a private plane he goes on Instagram I think and says hey I'm still in I'm you know wherever you hold this thing I'll get on a private plane

and I'll fight and for some reason I can't explain why but I feel like I know better, and I don't, that he doesn't need that. He was just on Instagram a minute ago saying, it's not as easy as you think it is to leave Russia. See, that kind of thing, right? I think that something about this messing up his training camp and Corona and all this craziness has him less excited about doing this fight. Whereas Tony Ferguson, to his credit is like,

you know, I'll do it now. We got like, we go to my backyard. If you're uncomfortable with that, we can go to your backyard. We can find a neutral alley, anything.

Dinner's here, honey. It's coffee um so yeah I don't know if this fight's gonna happen happen this coffee is light on cream ah color back now

laughing laughing uh so yeah and this fight has been this fight has been arranged organized fallen through four times already and it looks like maybe five now and it's just a curse to i thought that maybe when we sacrifice john jones to the mma gods then four days house arrest let's go champ

that that would be enough but it's not. Jon Jones would travel to Dagestan right now and kick Khabib in the head with his ankle bracelet. But he wouldn't wrestle him because he lost that part of his game. Not against a 155 pounder. We'll see. You wouldn't take Jones against Khabib in a fight? The 205 champ against the 155 champ? You couldn't take Jones against Khabib in a fight?

The 205 champ against the 155 champ? Okay, I'd pick Jon Jones. For all the reasons I dislike Jones, and even lately you could say he's lost his fighting edge, he still beats a guy who has 50-pound advantage on. That's crazy not to pick Jones. I mean, even if Khabib rolls in at 190 i i don't know what the i don't know what the deal is like how low below 205 can you be i know you can be like 205.5 right you can be

half pound over and still compete how how far below can you do 186 shit yeah well he he definitely do that i think he walks around right around 186 or something like that. You're allowed to wear clothes and shit. He could weigh in in weighted sneakers. He's got that big, goofy fucking Ushanka or whatever it is. Do you know they have to be within 40 pounds of each other? I didn't know that. It matters because the heavyweight division goes from 206 to 265. A light heavyweight is a class,

but a heavyweight at the bottom end of that range versus a heavyweight at the top end of that range can't fight each other. Same weight class. Okay, that's interesting. That's interesting. They need to open that weight thing up. I get the UFC wants to be the professional

of the fighting organizations, the most professional, the most legit. Tell me you don't like a freak fight, though. You know that giant Iranian guy that they're always putting on social media that looks like he's inflated with a fucking air compressor or something? I'd love to see some 350-pound men

just bash each other. The right freak fight. I did not enjoy either of... Who's the wrestler who's not talented? Punk? CM Punk? Oh, God, no. That's not right freak fight i did not enjoy either of um who's the wrestler who's not talent it's a punk cm punk see oh god no that's not a freak fight though that's a public that's a clout fight or like a publicity stunt okay yeah that's a publicity stunt um sean gannon when he came and fought it wasn't a good fight he's the guy that beat Kimbo on the streets. He's a cop from Boston. I watched Kimbo fight Petrocelli back in the day

on like CBS or something like that. That was my first, that was the first MMA experience I'd ever had. All I knew before that was watching Kimbo's actual YouTube videos. But I don't know. Let me do a couple of advertisements here. Pay the bills.

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people are having to stay inside their homes. They're getting lonely, desperate, frightened. Yeah, man. You don't want people knowing what you're up to. You don't want people snooping in your business. ExpressVPN. Taylor, you're on mute but i bet it's funny oh that duck vomited on him no i was saying be smart with your with your with your security but anyway yeah it looks like what are you just supposed to give in our chat

it's a dog smelling a woman's pussy, and then vomiting immediately. That is what it is. I didn't know it would autoplay in Discord. I'm quite the Discord boomer. Put that dog just sniffing and then just... It's funny, he like sniffs her calf, the back of her teeth. He gets to the undercarriage just immediately. I gotta go eat a couple pieces of cat shit to get that

rest out of my mouth. Imagine having a pussy that's so foul that a dog vomits when it smells like that. I once had a dog that picked up his own frozen poop and ran around with it like it was a cigar. I still do that every night. And then this guy, yeah.

So I was going to talk about the most disgusting subreddit I'd ever found, but they... What is it? They privated it, and now you have to be invited to reddit.com slash r rat fucking. Is it rats fucking or is it people fucking rats? What do you two think?

I think that's awesome. It's people who are into rats. How do you put your penis in a rat? From the back. But I mean, it's a rat you're you're murdering it with your dick i don't want to make a big deal out of this but compared to a rat i'm kind of hung

yeah mine won't fit oh i don't i don't think that uh well i mean it is a rat if you want if i wanted to stick my fucking forearm into a rat i I could. I would just stretch this poor little dead now ruined body. Just turn it into a rat condom. How did you find this subreddit? I'll tell you because I have to explain myself. I want to say I was on the Tiger King subreddit. I was somewhere and the moderator had locked the thread. They'd be like, hey, there will be no more talk of sexual contact with animals in any way.

That shit is not funny, and it is not allowed here. And I was like, what happened below? Scroll, scroll, scroll. And people were linking rats. And some guy was defending. He's like, hey, come on. If the dog licks a dick accidentally, it's real funny though, right? And everybody's like, no, you sick fuck.

No. No. Not even accidental dog cock licking is is is is permissible here around these parts and then someone links today i found out this is a thing like our rat fucking and i click it and i go and you know i go top all i want to see what this place is about what a cock tease you are now i can't i can't even see one guy holding a rat up showing off its massive testicles like it was all sorts of sexualization of rats there was one part and the guy was like my reaction when i see a hung mousy boy and i and it was a

gift and i swear to god i thought it was a guy aggressively like working his nipple his own nipple like like i was like what am i what like doing what just like rubbing his like like oh oh yeah like milking it like like milking his own his bitty you know he's squeezing his bitty yes bono bono needs the bitty i grew strong on bitty so so let me finish so he's he's milking his bitty, and I'm just staring at it. I'm confused about the anatomical layout of what I'm even looking at. I don't recognize this body part. And then it starts ejaculating.

Oh, he was jacking off a rat dick? It was his own micro penis. I was watching him masturbate by pinching. It was uncut, and he was just going like this on his bitty. This was masturbation to him. It like pinch pinch pinch pinch pinch pinch pinch and then he starts and i'm just like oh god oh god oh this is worse than the rat fucking no where was the rat there was no rat in this this was his reaction to like looking at rat porn this was his post but then i read some more and apparently what some people will do is literally like fuck a rat to death or fuck a dead rat. Essentially impaling an entire rat with their engorged phallus.

There is no way to have sex with a rat without killing it. I would agree with that. I'm not sure I'm willing to sit here idly while Kyle insults both rack fucking and tiny tiny penises. Some of this is hitting close to home, Kyle. That must have looked... So there was no up and down move. I'll let you guess which one.

To the audience. He's just pinching. Wait, that's not how you do it? Or use your whole palm, Captain Pornstar. I'm sorry, the vomiting dog. I've got to bump it out of the way. I don't have your copy-paste skills.

You don't. I'm just typing the word over and over, yeah. What is the fastest copy-paster in the West? And it's gone. So, man, how does boom pay is okay riddle me this kyle is this an ironic community like are they taking fucked up i looked at about online and then dude i looked at eight different posts from top all and i came to the conclusion

these are people who have sexual feelings about rats. And I... It was the most horrific... Hey, it's 2020, right? I've seen some fucked up shit on Reddit. You know, like... There was a series... There used to be a subreddit called, like, Dead Kids.

And it was just pictures of dead children. That sounds like a real downer. Like, in morgues and stuff. You know? And it was just like, God damn, we have strayed far from god's light yes we have there's one that's it's not dead kids that that's truly awful but there's another that hits me emotionally what is it called final images you probably have seen oh no oh is it like photos right before people die i guess yeah yeah yeah

and you know like a guy's shot or some of them are it's not always that graphic right some of them are just like loving photos of their dad you know like this is him the day before he had his heart attack in his sleep and it's a guy i don't know who you just imagine lived a full life and he's there in his home and you can infer things about him based on the other home oh lots of corona victims these days shit oh last images yeah it's our last images this month yeah i'm gonna sleep tonight guys i'm not gonna click this i'm gonna show some here's a guy in a hospital bed but that's oh here's a better one this guy's a corona victim and uh you know he's wearing an apron that he looks like a macho macho guy but he's dressed in like what seems like a woman's apron so you might assume

he's doesn't take himself too seriously and i don't know if you're like me your mind races on you can make all these things you might infer about him based on the house that's behind him the outfit that he's wearing and what he's doing and they describe what do they say my uncle steve covet 19 took him he was the funniest guy i've ever known he was always quick with the smile always had your back anytime anywhere no questions asked he lived his life on his own terms and enjoyed the simple things a good meal a strong drink and good people made him happy rest in peace it's weird to see images of people shortly before death here's the last picture of him and his father and oftentimes they don't look like they're about to die oh jesus a mother and son take a selfie on flight mh17 the plane crashed

nearly an hour later i'm getting out of here. This is bumming me out. Right? It's emotionally impactful, which is like I've said many, many times. That's something that impresses me, right? Like any kind of storytelling where you're afterward. It doesn't have to make me feel good, although I like good. It just has to make me feel.

Exactly. And you've done a thing, you know. Well, that is a really sad, heartbreaking forum. I don't want to go to that anymore. So, do you guys want to know a fun subreddit? Yeah, Nature is fucking lit or Nature is metal. Nature is metal is the better one because it shows animals eating each other. Public freakout.

Oh, I was all over public freakout last week. That's the best one. I did a pre-PKA stream on Twitch.lor murca on twitch everybody follow me and uh they pointed me they're like no no don't go to public freak out go to actual public freak out yeah and it's like a more intense one out we were watching some of those yeah i'm sure there's good shit public freak out is for rookies. It's the minor leagues. This is an old video and it's on I Am A Total Piece Of Shit

but it's these two guys and one of them pays the other one $10 to jump over a midget. Have you seen that? Yes, I've seen it. Okay, we don't have to watch that. Oh, I watch it. I'm always down for dunking on little folk.

It's some poor little fella or little lady. I think it'd be fun to literally dunk on little folk. Well, it's just some poor little fella or little lady. I think it'd be fun to literally dunk on little folk. Welcome to the land of big people, you little fuck. I suck at basketball, but against a midget, I like my odds. Against a midget? Slamming them down all day. Right? Blocked.

If we could just get a Fisher Price hoop and I'm a beast. Oh, man. You're ready. Jump over a beast. Oh, man. You jump over a midget for $10. Three, two, one, play. No audio, it looks like. That's probably for the best. Oh, my God.

This midget's not going to be a willing party, is he? No, of course not. She has no idea this is coming. That ain't right what a rude thing to do and that poor little little lady so startled yeah so startled by that guy running jumping now i bet if she knew he was gonna jump over him she wouldn't be half as scared but that is you know he was running at her she doesn't know what his intentions are i think i think it could have been like excuse me ma'am uh my friend's gonna give me ten dollars if i can jump over you is that okay and then oh you don't get the money then that's the seinfeld

rule oh okay what's the sign i don't think help me well there's in the episode of the of seinfeld uh called the chinese restaurant uh elaine is hungry, and they haven't been seated yet. Con right! Con right! And so Jerry says he'll pay her, I think, 50 bucks if she'll go over and just take an egg roll from these people's table, eat it, thank them, and walk away and give no explanation. And she goes over, and she's like,

Hi, my friend over there, he's going to pay pay $50 if I eat one of your egg rolls. And they're like, what? And they're old people. They're like, what? What's she saying? What? And she just runs away embarrassed. And it doesn't count because she was, you know, she was trying to explain the premise to him.

And so the humiliation would be lessened. No, you cannot ask for permission to do the thing. Oh, that means that John said he always here. That is a classic fucking episode. Yeah, that's one of the I talk about all the time because it was such a big influence on me. I listened to it for years as a teen in my 20s still do. But like the some of the best that Jimmy Norton never has watched Seinfeld. He's never watched like even like more than a couple episodes.

And Anthony had bits where he would you know, it's infuriating. Like Anthony would start describing entire episodes of Seinfeld as if they happened to him. Where he's just like, I go to this Chinese restaurant with my friends. We're there for 15 minutes. Someone else comes in. He says, oh, and Mr. Johnson's here all the time. I'm like, what the hell

is that? And he describes entire Seinfeld episodes. And he told the one where he's like, and then I tried to order this Chinese food and it was my favorite place. Turns out they don't go to the side of the street that I'm on. They'll go to the other side of the street, but not the side of the street I'm on.

And then Jimmy and Opie are like, man, that's ridiculous, dude. And he's like, I know, I know. So I go over there and talk to someone and say, can I use your apartment to have it delivered? And then eventually Jimmy's like, this is Seinf have it delivered and then eventually this is seinfeld yes those are so we were in a surgical theater and i was enjoying a junior man we can't explain what happened but it was remarkable

god that show is evergreen evergreen one of my top five favorite shows. I think it's the best sitcom ever made. I don't think you can compete with it. There was a Reddit thread on what signed cell premises would be like today. And it was pretty good. We've talked about before how cell phones change so many of you. So many people are locked on roofs in dumb sitcoms. Now you just text your friend and ask for a hand. But they had a

bunch of great cell uh signpost premises of course i can't remember them yeah i mean the larry david show is a great example of like how you do that same sort of silly comedy that situational nonsensical crazy shit in the modern world right you know it's it's this this this 10th season of curb your enthusiasm was one of their best ever. It was excellent. How has quarantine impacted you guys? Not at all. I've been cooking a lot more. I've been cooking a lot because I don't trust the delivery man.

I don't know what he's doing to himself in the car out there. And Instacart, the grocery deliveries, they've all been given these I don't know what they call them, like sanitary packs or something with like gloves and mask and, and, and like, and, uh, like, like sanitizer and stuff. And so they're all using that. So I still have to get groceries delivered occasionally. Cause I, I don't have milk for months, you know, eggs, milk, stuff like that.

Or, you know, it's perishable, you know, certain vegetables. Like I made chili today. I needed bell peppers and onions. So I still have to get some things delivered. I just really sanitize it well when it comes into the house. I had to, I told this on PKN, but like quickly, I had to go to the hospital a couple of days ago to pick up some prescriptions for Kitty. It's like a goddamn war zone at a hospital in Atlanta right now.

It's a real hot spot in the U.S. Everybody's there in gloves and masks, except for me. I had no idea how bad it had gotten. That's so funny. You just walk in and flip-flops. Literally. The flip-flops is my favorite part of the story walk in and flip-flops literally the flip-flops is my favorite part of the story literally in flip-flops i picture him in a hawaiian shirt

you got a visor on i got a i got a button up some pajama jeans from jurassic park yeah yeah i just i want i try to walk in and I realize I have to go through a checkpoint and she's like what are you doing here and I'm just like I'm going to the pharmacy licking toilets I'm here to go to the pharmacy

and she's like have you or anyone you know been exposed to COVID-19 and I'm just like fuck no I've been hiding in my house for a month and a half. I don't want to be here right now. She's like, I know how you feel. But she's got goggles. You know a funny way to respond to that is like, have you or anyone you know been in contact with COVID?

And you go, not to your knowledge. And so she has someone take me into the hospital and they take me to another checkpoint where I'm questioned even more and told to stand on some tape. Everybody's six feet apart, and I'm giving personal information and these insurance code numbers and stuff. And I finally end up in a room full of pill-counting losers, a.k.a. pharmacists. Although these days, there are fucking heroes on the front line, I guess, because there's like a dozen of them in there working hard. I'll give them that. And I did not,

I felt so uncomfortable. I had to touch the bag with the pills in it and I had to put my card in the machine to pay. And then I had to confirm at one point. I used a knuckle to confirm. Oh no, you had to do wireless? And then I, no, I don't trust that shit. It frightens me. at one point. I used a knuckle to confirm. You went into wireless? No, I don't trust that shit. It frightens me. But you do trust pressing the buttons, yeah? I didn't want to press the button. I didn't know I was going to live in

plague times or I picked a different credit card. So, I take my knuckle and I confirm and then I act like sometimes you'll, like, like, you know, sometimes you'll wipe your ass and you'll get shit on your finger. And then you're just like, oh, oh, you got to get this clean. Oh, let's get that water hot. Like I, all of a sudden that knuckle was a shit knuckle. And I kept it so, and I get in the car and i have like a a little canned diet pepsi in my cup holder and i go to grab it with my right hand i'm just like oh nope that's the shit hand i reach

over with my left take a sit i hold that hand up the whole ride home so i don't touch the steering wheel with it i'm so concerned over this you must have touched your face oh no no no when i when i can't when i got home i i turned the key with my left hand, went in, and then I walked into the bathroom, put all of my pocket items in the sink. And I've got a bottle of 98, 99% alcohol in there, like isopropyl rubbing alcohol. And I rub my hands down with that. And then I douse all of my pocket items in the alcohol and scrub them, like scrub them well with like pure alcohol. And then I get right into the shower and soap up like I've never soaped up before. And I'm like, when I got out, I just felt so clean and safe. I did. I hated going to that hospital. I hated that so much. I can't, I can't imagine how you felt like two weeks ago with your brother. Yeah. How long does her meds last? Like when would you have to go back?

It's a long time. It's like an EpiPen that expires like every nine months and like some inhalers. But she gets a lot of them and then like a big ass jar of pills. Like it'll be three to six months or something like that. And I only had to pick these up because they're like temperature sensitive and they can't be shipped like safely and they're very fucking expensive like thousands of dollars or something like that so i i don't know i i didn't i i'd go i i didn't want to go but i was gonna go right right right right i was just wondering like there's another story two weeks from now.

Yeah, that was part of it. She was like, oh, the whatever, albuterol and caloxin, we can't get those in until next week. And I'm walking out so stressed out. Dinner's ready. I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me? I got to come back in a week. Show it to the camera. Show it to the camera.

Yeah, what's that? What is it? What is it? What is it? You have pizza? Come on, you gotta share. It looked like refried beans with queso on top. No, no, lift it up.

I feel bad for having dinner on the show, but with the live stream today... You gotta share. I am so excited to munch after this. So we have some sort of rice. There's very little chicken in this. We might be rationing the chicken that happens every so often.

But either stream is safe. What, Kyle? I was like, tell him you can't see it. Make him lift it higher until it spills. I can see my own camera. Yeah. Not enough chicken in there? Is that the chief complaint?

We have rice, chicken, mixed vegetables, and... Delicious. Not enough chicken in there? Is that the chief complaint? We have rice, chicken, mixed vegetables, and... Delicious. Not enough chicken. So, Jackie, take notes. More chicken. We've been on chicken rationing now and then. I know that the last time... She's having a hard time getting food. This is like a...

Honey, why are you telling me this story? This is really a you problem, not a me problem. You just make it happen. So long as the checks don't bounce, I did my part. And she's like up at night gaming Amazon delivery. So Amazon bought Whole Foods and they deliver food

and you can't get a slot. If you buy food, then they just tell you that there's no delivery slots open. So you fill up the whole cart and then sometime at 1.30am a slot will open up and she takes it and that's how we get our food now.

But sometimes they can't fill the whole order in. You don't have Instacart? I don't know what that is. I hadn't heard of that before. Let me help you. I'm going to link you to it. It's an app for your phone. It's just like Postmates or a service like. It's an app for your phone. And, and it's a, it's a, um, it's just like Postmates or a service like that,

except they go to the grocery store for you. And, uh, they'll go to any grocery stores that are in your region. Uh, it's, uh, I'll,

I'll, I'll just, they'll do the shopping for you. Yeah. Yeah. That might be worth checking out. It would, it would give us more options.

We have Lowe's foods to go, you know, so, but you have to go there, but they load it in your car for you. And then we have Amazon. And those are, those are how we've been getting our food so far mostly um i think if you put your zip code in there it'll tell you um if they're available to you this is by far the way to go because not only in my i'm atlanta so i have like three or four grocery stores available to me like two medium tier ones and two really nice ones.

And so I can get like steak and chicken and ground beef. And I mean, sushi, I can get whatever I want delivered, like fresh fish all the time, like just flown in and everything. I'm going to text you about it. It's excellent. And like I said, they just gave all their drivers these, I don't know what they're calling them, but let's just call it a COVID case. You know, like this little package of like protective gear and hand sanitizers. And they have directives to be very careful about how

they handle your food and everything. And you're in constant contact with your shopper in the same way that with Postmates, it's like, ah, Bill is bringing your Burger King to you. It says, ah, Cheryl is shopping for your groceries now. It's too late to add more items, but you can always chat with her. You can click chat and be like, hey, Cheryl, could you see if they have toilet paper? Just look. I know it's not on the site, but maybe they have it. And she'll, if they're friendly, cause they want to tip, they'll really go back and forth with you. And if an item is sold out, which is very likely right now, this is turned into an Instacart commercial. They should be paying for this. But if right now, a lot of items are unavailable. And so it'll be like, Hey, this item's running low. What would you like as like a backup? And it'll give you a list of the backup items. So if you wanted like Tostitos chips, it'll be you a list of the backup items so if you wanted like testitos chips it'll be like ah well these are ranchero chips how about those and if they don't have

those they'll text you and you can go back and forth with them and find the chips you want or the rice you want or the meat you want or whatever uh it's great especially for these times where you don't want to go that's cool yeah um the services we use now are not as interactive and sometimes the substitutions are like look that's not the same thing you know like i'd rather have nothing than this product that that we wouldn't have wanted at all if you bring me cheese nips instead of cheese it's i'm gonna execute you on my front porch all right that's a little that's a little harsh what about your goldfish what about goldfish oh goldfish are fine they'll be okay dude cheese nips they're oily there's some sort of weird oiliness i like that i like the oil no i like that like ah why no

what you like is incorrect they got a nice sheen to them oh they're they're slippery it's a and you know what it's not even that i hate them it's that they're just far inferior to cheese it's especially you get that extra toasty i like to eat cheese nips and then that's how i wax my steering wheel yeah one big thing with you you're asking about how the quarantine's affected us yeah yeah not snacking. I'm failing at that worse than when I'm like out and about all day because like I'm on my laptop or my computer and here working on something. And it's like, obviously it pops in your head. It's like, you know, you're at your house with your kitchen right there with all those savory treats that you like so much.

with all those savory treats that you like so much, it wouldn't hurt to just, you know, mindlessly eat a little bit while you're, you're working on this presentation or email or whatever. And before you know it, you've just munched for, you know, an hour straight and it's, you need like constant discipline when you spend all your time next to a pantry, right? I know every minute of the day you are fighting the urge to eat like

hypothetically trail mix or something I have no snacks in my house see that's where I'm moving towards it's like my girlfriend does all the shopping for the most part and it's like we're shutting it down after this current glut of old treats and things is gone like I do not want to

refill it because like three weeks from now I guarantee I'd be doing the same thing if I had goldfish in there and I'm sitting around it and you know it's 1.30 while I had lunch two hours ago but I'm a little feeling a little hungry. I'm going to go get some goldfish. It's too tempting. Go for something salty.

I will get even fatter. The closest thing I have to treats is cereal. I have raisin bran cereal. That's as close as it gets to a treat at my house. Because if you open the pantry, it's like, I could go for a can of corn. A can of corn sounds great to me.

Exactly. I'm actually on target right this moment. But by and large, I have a really messed up sleep schedule right now. I'm streaming Escape from Tarkov until 4 or 5 a.m. Me too. So sometimes I'll wrap up the stream and I'll be like, 5 a.m. That's like breakfast time.

And then I go to sleep. You know what's also breakfast time? 10 a.m. Sure, I've had first breakfast. What about second breakfast? I've had one, yes. My wife was like, this cereal was $6.

We only got two bowls out of it. And I'm like, actually. You want to really evaluate how much cereal? If you really want to reevaluate Yeah Jackie that's ridiculous You know I was reading something About those net weight machines

Not actually doing it the way they should It's big cereal Fucking over the little guy I'm going to write a letter I'm still living that lie with her I didn't tell her You know there's all the shit bags It's mostly air

Yeah but I'm never going to run out of food at this point I've got so much fucking food I made chili today, so amazing I cooked it for like seven hours in the in the slow cooker before i finally ate it i was starving when i ate it like an hour before the show started it was so good so good i uh defrosted a pound of beef go ahead nice i ordered some food today and um for some reason they really put the minimum orders at like 35 dollars for like that's a minimum so i was just like mine's like nine i'll just like nine nine dollars so i was like i'll just order four times dinner

and then just save it for tomorrow and breakfast and whatever yeah i did that a few weeks ago i um my dad was over and uh maybe it's been a month now whatever the last ufc event was but i was like what do you want for dinner i was like i can cook i've got this i got that or i could just order some mexican food he's like oh yeah i love mexican food i was like all right what do you want i get on the app and it's like i get us like fajitas for two and a bean dip and some guacamole. I'm so hungry. And, and like it, it got canceled because I had picked a new restaurant that was brand new to

the app. And it was like, Oh, I got canceled. They're not open right now. And I was like, well shit. And so,

but you know, there's so many Mexican restaurants in Atlanta. It's like, all right, well yeah, two fajitas, bean dip and a guacamole from a different place. Failed again.

So I'm like, well shit, you know what? I'm going over to a different place failed again so i'm like well shit you know what i'm going over to a different app let me try that go over a different app order two fajitas bean dip and a guacamole there we go now it's working so the doorbell rings he's like hey i'm bill with postmates i'm like oh shit so i take the fajitas and the bean dip and the guacamole and i take it in there and we start eating and doorbell rings again about 30 minutes later and it's diane from postmates hey diane from postmates got your mexican food here smells yummy and i'm just like oh no 15 minutes later here comes greg from fucking grubhub or wherever i've got so many

fajitas at my house like i eat fajitas did you order the same thing from every restaurant yes it's the same thing three times over it's enough for six people oh man just just just oh like sure we've had one fajita but what about second yeah and third and fourth and fifth and six luncheon afternoon tea dinner supper yeah all their their meals noonsies noonsies elevensies yeah i had an interesting quarantine problem so i don't know if you guys know but me my girlfriend we broke up two months ago i'm sorry to hear or maybe and i don't know what to say. No, don't worry. Don't worry. Anyways, I'm moving on. Breakups always hurt. So I started dating again. And literally right when I started seeing girls again, the whole quarantine situation happened.

So it was like, oh, you know, starting to talk to two girls. So you're dealing with some dry dick syndrome. You know, don't worry. I have a roommate. He's great. No, I'm joking. He's a rat too, by the way. Just saying.

I'm quite curious. So I had a few dates lined up, you know. So I was talking to a few girls. And it's like, we're shutting down all the restaurants. And I'm like, oh, no, what do I do? Cancel the dates. Do you guys say, hey, let's go to my, I'll cook for you guys or cook for you or something. How many guys are you dating? I was just, a lot.

And then to this one girl, I was like, so, it's like first date. I was like, so do you want to like go for a walk and she's like yeah i guess we just went for a walk six feet apart yeah it was like i mean it was pretty strange but now it's like now i feel like the first date is just hey let's facetime you know what? I say you just focus on you. Treat yourself for the rest of this quarantine. Pussy's gonna be there when this is over.

Listen up. I have a VR headset. Yes. That's enough. I got a VR headset and I own a gym and a gas station. Suck my dick. I picture myself in Quebel Cop's situation like dating girls on FaceTime and just being like,

bitch, your audio sucks. I need you closer. Did you show up without a studio mic? It's a podcast, bitch. What's the lighting? Come on. The lighting isn't good. What's with the vertical video? You know this is happening

and you have no mic? Is that an android fucking stupid whore no no no i i did have the problem of uh installing tinder and constantly being called a catfish and oh because they know who you are yeah and having to prove to girls that i'm real so it's like yeah just hit me up on instagram and i'll dm you for my instagram account or something or i'll be like or or just call me and then that's a really quick way to get their oh yeah yeah get their number yeah i like that i found a reddit question how would you respond if someone told you they masturbate to the thought of you sure i've actually i mean dealt with it yeah i i get i get unsolicited

nudes you could say sorry about that it's the worst. Guys and girls, by the way. Nice. But, I mean, hey, it feels good, I guess. Right. What do you think? It's a compliment. Ugly girls, guys. Doesn't matter. None of these things are like an accusation on their sense of taste.

The fact that anybody would masturbate to me is a compliment anyone yeah yeah i got a problem with that there are plenty of people you could have chosen and you picked me this is a great honor me you picked me to lie to yeah that that would be my well actually that probably shouldn't be my response. I'm a married man. I probably will just block them. That would be my internal monologue. Like, this is pretty awesome.

But I can't fuck you, dude. Oh, you're talking about guys. It doesn't matter. I just made it funnier, I thought. Oh, okay. Even better, right? Yeah. Have you ever been hit on by a guy?

Yes, many times. So my gaydar is amazing, right? So I can sense them from miles away, right? And this one time, I had this guy guy and i went to this uh a gaming convention and he was there too and you know he was like right into my okay man nice to see you again and i go in for the hug and whatever and i'm like yeah yeah tag along we'll just be uh checking out some booths and this and that and um and later on he's like yeah so you know like uh here like the same touch whatever and he goes he he hits he hits me up afterwards and he's like hey man uh do you ever want to go

to the movies and i'm like what like imagine like it to me he was like a just a bro you know and it's like you don't ask a bro like hey we want to go to the movies right so i i asked my friend our mutual friend i'm like why did he ask me to go to the movies and she's just laughing and she's like he's gay he's asking you out on a date. And then I realized all the things and the stuff he said while I was with him. And I'm like, I can't believe this. It's like sixth sense. He's hitting on me.

And he's like sitting next to me and touching me. Webb, let me ask you this. When you watch porn, do you like watching the guy with the big dick or the little dick? Oh, massive one. Not that straight. Not that straight. There you go.

It was a little weird when we shared that ice cream sundae with just two straws, but I thought, you know, maybe he doesn't have a lot of money. He gave me a kiss on the lips, and I was just like, maybe that's just part of his culture, you know? He is a Democrat. Grandpa does it too, right?

There you go. You know, I don't want to be a bigot or anything, but it hurts when he fucks me. I wear jeans under my chaps, but I don't judge. By the way, if a guy hits on you, what do you think? Do you feel flattered? I'm flattered. I feel flattered for sure.

Yeah, for sure. Flattered, yeah. I've been hit on by a guy when I was younger, and I very much thought, like, all right, he's a guy, but... His vision's 2020. He'll be not lying. His vision's 2020.

That guy's got taste. He's after this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think those dudes that get, like, upset about that and, like, end up hate-crimin' motherfuckers in the street. Those are the guys who are like ashamed that they themselves are gay. Like,

like, yeah, I didn't. It's one thing if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're gay or you're bi and you don't want it to be a whole thing about your life, you're like,

ah, you know, my personal life, my personal life. But if you're that like closeted, so closeted that if like a guy were to hit on you, you'd feel the need to hate crime him like it was that – like it's the movie It. That's outrageous. Those are some of the worst people that exist.

I didn't process it right away, but I was driving with another guy who was my age and like maybe like a peer in terms of like attractiveness on a work trip. We went to some conference that was close enough to drive to. And I can see how maybe the, it was in a car, like their car pulled up to ours. They like held up a sign. They were like, like trying to pick us up driving side by side on the highway.

And like, they, you know, I forget what the sign said, but they like wrote something and held it up to the window and stuff. And now it's like, right, right. they probably thought we were a couple because like if I

was gay like he would be fit you're like come join us we were the same age like same one to ten scale same like that's it's we were just a pit pair yeah yeah yeah you're gonna problem with that yeah

yeah like in that case guys you both look gorgeous tonight thank you very much thanks i've been growing up here and people seem to like you guys been working out yeah you should see my feet oh yeah show me please i'm how did you know how did you know he's seen my feet i can I can tell. I've been trimming them up. They're looking nice. Dude, there was a thing on the, like, so I mentioned that your feet were very hairy. I think I might've commented that you were not, you know, too far down the evolutionary line standing up right. And you're like, my feet aren't that hairy. And you showed them off in the show and they weren't. And now I know that you are hitting those feet with a beard trimmer or something and and like that is the performance enhancing drugs of foot hair you you rigged the game when you showed off your foot hair

i think when i showed it it was at it's like it was all natural you know like right now it's sort of mid trim like i got a little bit going on but but like many people have seen my feet in real life taylor's seen him in real life and he's like what's what he always going on about i don't know i don't know i think he just got bald feet because he always wears shoes i don't always wear shoes i rarely wear shoes well i don't know why your feet are bald woody maybe it's foot baldness in my old age my feet are balding. Yeah. I have a fun story, guys, if you want to hear something. So I started dating again, which, you know, brings up a lot of fun experiences, very adventurous experiences, I should say. And I'm seeing this girl.

It's her second time a second time meeting and um i said well you know like first time we went on the for dinner whatever second time everything's closed up i said well why don't we you know have a fun night at my place. I got like a bunch of entertainment at my place. And we ended up, you know, watching some guy getting choked out on YouTube, which was your video, by the way, because your video is the only video on YouTube of someone being choked out. So I thought it was really funny. And I'm just telling this story about, you know, me being single and dating again. So anyways, I come up with a great idea of let's jump into the hot tub, right? So I have a hot tub on my balcony. We jump in and...

What are you wearing? Earth Day suit. We jump in and, you know... This is a great idea. Natural bathing suit, you know. This is a great idea. Natural bathing suit, you know. And it's like super, super hot. I kind of didn't realize it was pretty late at night, you know. Anyways, I jump out, you know, put my clothes on and, you know and go grab a towel for my friend.

And she gets out, give her a towel, and she stands there for a second, and she goes, I think I have to sit down. Oh, no. She's really lightheaded, and she goes... Almost hits the floor. I catch her last second. She's like. Like this.

Like I lay her on the floor. And the moment I lay her down on the floor. She goes. Ah. I passed out. Didn't I? And I'm like. Oh my god.

For like a split second. I went like. Okay. I'm going to lay her down. Is she having an epileptic attack or is she just passing out? I need to check her heart rate. I need to check if she's still breathing. Should I call 911?

Right? And I'm like, oh, my God. Okay. Everything's fine. I'm like, okay, just lay down for like five to ten minutes. At this point, had you gotten it in yet or no? No, no, no, no, no. Yes. Okay. Yeah, no. Yes.

Okay. Yeah, definitely. Nice. This is a personal liar. This was a post-fuck hot tub. Angie saved her like a hero. So then I was like, okay, well, you just passed out. She's like, yeah, it happens.

This and that. And she was telling me how she didn't pass. Three years. And she got back up. And I was like, all right, just go sit on the couch. everything this and that and she was telling me how she didn't pack three years and um and she got back up and i was like all right just go sit on the couch and there she goes again oh shit i'm like this time i got this it was this close to her like slamming her head into the concrete floor gotta put a helmet on this bitch you're gonna be in jail trying to explain this to someone

eventually you know she's she's had a really fun fun fun night with her and then that happened and it was like it was like pretty like so yeah like he passed out again and she's like oh my god i feel so embarrassed um yeah it was it was like my first time Is that what led to the chokeout videos? The pass out experience? That's just a funny coincidence. That was before. Yeah, it's just a funny coincidence. You gotta drop this fucking fainting goat, bitch.

You're gonna startle her in the shower. She's gonna end up dying. The Netherlands police are gonna be like, you know, you're saying that she fell on her own. I'm not seeing much evidence of that. And by Netherland law, you must now sit in the sad corner for 15 minutes. You must wear a dunce cap. I have so much to say.

First of all, the hot thing pass out, that happens to my wife. Oh, really? Yeah. Dude, the young, stupid version of me, like we'd have sex in the shower essentially and uh he's like ready to like pass out or sometimes literally and i'd catch her and it's like stupid younger when he was like dude i fucked her pretty good you couldn't handle how much man all right all right like like that's a pretty good session. She can't stand afterwards.

She can't even speak. Older Woody is like, bitch, stop trying to swallow your tongue and put this water in your mouth. I passed out from hot tub sex before. I went up to Gatlinburg or Pigeon Ford somewhere up there in Tennessee. How common is this? It's very common. Oh, dude, hot tubs trigger that. Kyle does this all the time.

Here's the reason why. For one thing, blood flow is headed toward your cock. So there's less blood in your brain than there normally would be. And you're overheated and then you exert yourself and you can easily have an issue.

But my issue was compounded even more because I meet this girl, she drives down from like some part of Tennessee and I drive up from Georgia and we get this cabin in Pigeon Forge out in the woods. It's kind of big fucking cabin. We're hanging out. We're having a real nice time. And, uh, and she is a nurse. It's not the nurse you're thinking of, Woody. And she's a nurse. And she can write prescriptions, I guess. So she makes her own party drugs. And it's nothing crazy. I like this chick.

And she puts them in a pill press, right? And creates pills out of a cocktail of various things. And she's like, here, have one of these things and it's like she's like here have one of these and i'm like what is it and she's like ah it's viagra and it's this and it's that isn't it it was like three things but i heard viagra and i was like and methadone and wait what and so i think that was the first time I'd ever taken Viagra. And I have a reaction to Viagra anyway, which is why I prefer the other thing.

What's it called? The tea maybe? The Dalafil. I've heard the Dalafil over in the Cialis. And it makes me really sensitive to light. And I can get a little lightheaded. And it gives me headaches. I hate Viagra.

So I was just discovering this. So we're out in this big fucking hot tub. It's outdoors. So it's cold outside, hot in the hot tub. We are fucking in the hot tub. And I am really, really exerting myself. This is taking – because I'm lifting this young lady. I'm essentially pressing 110 pounds for like 80 reps the swing was tough

by itself i'm at like 80 reps we're burning oh good oh i'm i'm just just hammer curls all day hammer curling an adult woman she was filipino and uh adult woman sounds rough joe biden has the right idea carry on she was she was so fucking cool she was in the she was she was an army medic and uh and she had um she i could get on her back and she could piggyback carry me around and it wouldn't be that like oh i'm gonna collapse she's got me and she's trucking she's trucking just carrying me and she's 100 pounds tops anyway yeah filipino people are very little tiny tiny gal very they're dwarven in their ability to carry men though yes anyway i start getting really dangerous over short distances very dangerous over short distances

they're natural sprinters so i start feeling really lightheaded and we get out of the hot tub and go into like the cabin and like the cold air hitting hitting my like superheated body like combination i fucking hit i passed out as soon as we got inside i hit the couch and i like i knew i was going down so i'm just like headed toward the couch and just faint naked on the fucking couch and i'm out and i'm like coming to and going out coming to and going out while ice water is being half poured in my mouth and half thrown in my face i was just like wow i like to think she had my reaction like fuck that guy pretty good

fuck his brains out fuck his fucking brain yeah i've never in my life had a pass out where I just never. This never happened to me. I've never had that happen. But the closest I ever came was I was probably like 21 of drinking age. Definitely. And drinking with friends in a hot tub, which, you know, when you're young, you're stupid. Very bad idea. Like, it's a good thing I drink a lot of water normally.

But like, I stood up out of the hot tub after like way too long in there and just i started getting that like everything's closing in view and i had to put both my hands on the side of the tub and stand there and just kind of like try and focus on like one of the bubble like jet things for like a full minute or two until it came back oh so yeah hot t tubs are dangerous. I don't know if, I don't pass out very much, but I had been choked out back when I trained more. Do you find, I found it very embarrassing. Not because I lost at jiu-jitsu. I mean, you win, you lose, whatever.

You just get better. It was like everyone knew what happened. Everyone's paying attention to me. And I'm lacking the information that they have. And somehow that always, in my my core made me very embarrassed. No, it doesn't embarrass me. Um,

I've, I've passed out or gone unconscious or whatever, maybe shit six to 10 times in my life or something, sometimes publicly and sometimes like with friends and sometimes all along. So, but, but it's never, it can be scary if you go down on

asphalt because i i i went down on asphalt once and like when i came to i was all skint up like i felt poorly because i was unconscious um but no i never had that sense of embarrassment that you often talk about i've been choked out either definitely once maybe twice like um in that video with Queb when I came to I forgot what we were doing like it wasn't like I immediately said like oh did I go out it was like where am I who are these people why are they all laughing like what do they know that I don't know did I shit myself yeah thankfully that's never happened um i i let somebody choke me out and yeah some i've always heard it was that people piss themselves i'm going off what i've read you piss yourself yeah um but but i i have panic attacks that that lead to like completely going

unconscious and it could be anything it could be like a super stressful moment or big argument or it could be like physical injury like i got scott and i were having a sword fight one time and he stabbed me in the arm pretty severely and just like pulling the metal out of my arm and seeing a hole that went all the way to the bone and then like seeing the blood start coming out and i like that i barely made it to cold water to throw in my face cold water almost always is like magical when i'm when i'm going down not cold water but cold air helps jackie so i was surprised to hear that your i think it was hot tub to cold air experience wasn't refreshing it was it was like a bot it was like a shock to the system

because i was also drinking i was drinking took whatever that pill was physically exerting myself sex and a very hot hot tub. It was way too much. I have a disgusting story of me almost passing out. I was out clubbing, and I was drinking. I don't drink much. I barely drink, actually. And back then, I was drinking a lot. And, you know, Amsterdam parties, they go a bit crazy.

It was just alcohol i was on and um at one point i start feeling like lightheaded i start feeling sick and i'm like okay you know i need to sit down i need to like i feel like i'm gonna puke you know um and and i started getting really dizzy so i run to the restroom you know i just skip the line i was like fuck everyone else i go into the restroom and um i'm there and i'm like half passing out half still there and i'm like i need to drink some water so my first thought is i'm not drinking from the toilet instead i got like a dirty cup i got a dirty cup next to the toilet. Instead, I got like a dirty cup. I got a dirty cup next to the toilet and I just opened

the toilet door, poured it with water, and I drank from it. And I don't know. I don't have herpes or anything, but I thought it was disgusting. Do you mean that on the back of the toilet, you like scooped up that pre-flush water? Out of the toilet bowl or the reservoir?

No, no, no. There was a little tap. A bidet? No, it was just a regular sink. You took the bidet and filled up a cup. But it was from a cup which was next to the toilet. You are a real clean freak.

This is the punchline of your story. I drank out of you are a real clean freak if if this was the pen this is the punch line of your story and so i drank out of a cup that well it wasn't fresh top it go for it oh my god i i mean i was vomiting all night at this girl's house and then i used her toothbrush to brush my vomit filled mouth and just put it right back on next to the sink without rinsing it i don't think that's too i was i was at a bar and it was late like it was that time between like i've been day drinking with my friends this is years ago and it was that time at like a bar and grill between when it's like the dinner patrons leave and then the people come into party on friday and saturday night show up you know and we were there it was already getting crowded and this table that we were standing next to waiting in line by the bar

they stood up and they left and i was already pretty drunk because we've been drinking all day and they left like a bunch of half-eaten pizza and chicken wings and i ate off that table for probably 15 minutes before the cleared it when i was a teenager i stayed at a friend's house and then the next morning i wore the socks from the day before kind of badass that's disgusting that's disgusting it's really gross i don't know if we should be friends. I don't know if I can be on this podcast anymore. Fucking vile, dude. That's topical. It is yucky, though.

Yesterday's socks are bad. They are. They are. This is so funny. You know those, like, Ugg slippers? They make, like, house shoes. Oh, yeah. Very popular in prison.

Are they? Yeah. They're called shower shoes. They're just... Well, I don't know if they'd like house shoes like oh yeah very popular in prison are they yeah they're shower shoes they're just well i don't know if they'd be shower shoes but it's like it's got like the furry no no no not uh not crocs no you mean the boots uh okay yeah yeah yeah it's got like the furry stuff in there and it feels so soft and nice and every time i get some of those house shoes i get them like every third year and I always have to you know every other year really and I have to throw them away way before them because they start to smell so bad because I don't care that I'm supposed to wear socks with them I don't want

to wear socks with them I want to enjoy the period of time where the fur is feeling good but I was wearing these around all day every day uh while I was home for months on end ever since Christmas so it's only been like four months. And I don't wear socks in them. My feet get sweaty in them. I was wearing them during most PKA's, every time I'm doing whatever at home. And I went into the bathroom the other, you know, like a week ago. I took them off because I was about to shower.

And I was just like a punch in the face of scent. Like, boom, right in the face of scent, like boom, right in the face. My girlfriend comes in and she goes, Oh my God, I think one of the dogs shit in the bedroom. My master bathroom is off the side of, of my master bedroom,

obviously. And so she comes in there and she's like in the, my slippers at the time are in the fucking bathroom. And she comes in and just a regular bedroom is like, Oh, did Fozzie or Teddy poop in here? They pooped. They did. And I'm like, I don't think so. I don't think that... After like three or four minutes, I was like,

babe, I'm almost positive it's my slippers. And it smelled like dog shit. And she was like... And she was standing in the bathroom looking into my tub and in the shower and under things just like, oh, I don't think so. And then she like... And I like like looking into my tub and like in the shower and under things just like oh i don't think so and then she like and i was like i i guarantee it's my this isn't this is your first go around with me through the slipper rodeo this is not mine i know the consequence of wearing my feet in these with no socks for months on end to be in 20 i have to wash them now i don't wear those she

picked it up and put her nose to it and almost vomited i have like a house rule about slippers like that like it so here's the thing jackie's a stay-at-home mom right now i'm a stay-at-home dad like whatever you call work there's no need for us to look presentable at all but you should right you should i i have an obligation to jackie to look like someone she'd want to fuck and vice versa right you can't just be the worst version of you all the time and that's why i i had those slippers briefly i had this foot or ankle issue where i needed to wear shoes but i was like i need to get out of this cycle because i just want to look better that's that was my take on it i don't know i just try to if i let the standard slip then i'm giving the okay for her

to let the standard slip and this heads in a direction we don't want i like that i think that's great really i thought i'd get pushed i just came up with a more disgusting one okay i was thinking you didn't think that was disgusting. Really? I thought I'd get pushback. I just came up with a more disgusting one. Okay. Go for it. I was thinking you didn't think that was disgusting. Now I have a pretty disgusting one. You tell me if it's disgusting. Okay. So I have this bad habit of buying these sandwiches.

It's like my guilty snack. It's a sandwich and it's... What a wild child over here. Lettuce and tomato. It's a pastry sandwich with like a pig. Sometimes i like a reuben a bit later than dinner time a big sausage a big sausage in the middle we call them fricandel fricandel broaches so it's a big sausage in the middle and then it's like some some breading around it i like a big sausage in the back it It's great, right? This sounds good. It's kind of like a hot dog.

Sure. And I, you know, I go and get one and I put it in the whatever you call it in my kitchen. And later that night, I'm like, you know, you wake up middle of the night. You're like pretty hungry. I'm like, all all right let's go get it all right so i knew it was there and i reach up and i can't really see it and i'm like ah got it and i grab it and i most of the time i don't heat it up i just eat it like that oh which is fine which is fine which is fine i I know what's going to happen. I start eating it. In the middle of the night, I'm eating it.

I'm like, the texture is a little bit different. I get about halfway through and I realize there's some fuzzy stuff on it. That wasn't today's sandwich. He was two weeks old

and he was completely moldy. Completely. And I'm talking green, black, white, furry. Like it's almost moving. Well, I immediately, I felt fine. And I immediately,

I look at it and immediately felt sick. Ran to the restroom and just went. And for the next 10 minutes, just tried getting everything out. Because I was like, I just ate like meat, like two week old spoiled meat. That was your mistake. Somewhere in that red, black, green mold was the cure to corona. If you had just taken that in, you'd be immune. Or at least be high as fuck, right?

God knows what you were growing in there. Turns out, obviously, the other sandwich was right next to it, and I'd forgotten about a different one, and I didn't see it. I'm very careful about eating expired food because I've had food poisoning so many times and it's so horrific.

Just like traveling around a lot and like always eating out and like I like seafood a lot. I don't know. I got food poisoning at one point just like twice a month for like three months in a row it seemed like I was always just deathly ill for two or three days at a time

just vomiting and diarrhea and so now i cook so much i'm very careful with my ingredients and stuff i'm like well it expires tomorrow but i don't like the look of this yeah same yeah i got some steak delivered once from instacart and this is another thing to their credit frankly um it had it was open this isn't long ago they they say I bought steaks. They're wrapped in the clear plastic in that styrofoam little cup. The cellophane is not covering the steaks. They're open to the air. When I smelled them, they smelled like

shit. Like actual feces. I'm just like, fire like a plate! Just fucking like, this is this and that. And I take a picture of the meat. I immediately refunded all of my money and apologized. High ass quality. The worst

food poisoning I had was I went to Mexico for the first time and I bought water of a street vendor we were out and and it's like okay so here's what happened we were out and and my girlfriend at the time was like i i like i need to drink something i'm like well i don't know if you want to buy water from here. And I was like, I'll take the Coke because I'm like, you know,

at least it's going to be Coke, right? Yeah. And it was Coke. Coke's better there. It's better than your sugar. Yeah, she got the water. And she's drinking the water. And I'm like, don't think it's that safe because, you know,

who knows knows maybe they filled it with tap water or whatever and i'm like well to be honest if you're drinking it i'll drink it too i'll join you on this one so i just got it took a sip and i kid you not for the next two weeks i went to the toilet 10 times a day, and it was like water coming out. Like I was peeing out of my butthole. It was really, really bad. You got a really bad case. You got some kind of parasite maybe even.

Yeah, so we had the inside joke of we have a worm. We have a worm. We call him Wormy, but it was just – it's called Traveler's Diarrhea. Yeah, that sounds awful. Let me do a quick advertisement. That's one of the nice ones. Hey, Google it.

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Oh, that's pretty funny. Stallone and his whole family dressed up there. Yeah. Anyway, check out Netgear.com slash Best Wi-Fi. Get your Wi-Fi done right. Yeah, I think we're all using our Wi-Fi

quite a bit these days. Yes, we are. And it's the perfect time to make sure it's as good as it can be. Yeah. Yeah. I am using a lot of internet. Like I,

I have to, I have it continuously going, you know, I'm here all fucking day. I've usually got a show on no matter what I'm doing. If I'm cooking, if I'm, if I'm like cleaning up,

if I'm just, you know, whatever, there's a TV show rolling. I'm pretty sure the internet's'm just, you know, whatever. There's a TV show rolling. I'm pretty sure the internet's being used way more heavily than normally. This whole quarantine is just... It was a few days ago.

Great for views, guys. It's great for views. Yeah, PKA's been having some good views, except for the time we get copyrighted every so often. Speaking of PKA, sorry. I was just going to say, I've been seeing a lot of PKA clips pop up lately.

Yes. Especially the prison ones. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there are some of those with millions of views. How's that going, guys? That's not ours. They just do it.

But also, our viewership, I mean, most people don't watch on YouTube, but it's been going up ever since the prison thing, Kyle. So, big ups to Kyle for going to jail and then coming up with stories.

If you grab another... No. I can't. Next time, I'll go to prison. Ooh, yeah! Listen up. Give me your address. I'll send you to prison. Oh, yeah. Listen up. And then what do you do? Give me your address.

I'll send you a package. Oh, fuck. Oh, cookies. I actually do get sent to prison. I'm like, it was a meme. It was a joke. They really are just cookies. Try them. I go in there, and I'm not nearly as good at handling it as Kyle.

I'm like, I see something off color the first day, and then I got a target on my back, and I'm not nearly as good at handling it as Kyle. I'm like, I see something off color the first day and then I got a target on my back and I'm like, how did Kyle do it? Taylor's in there doing black and Hispanic accents right out of the gate. Homie, that's disrespectful. Man, I've been in here for hours, man. I know the way it works. What would you do if you got a package, say, addressed from me, and you open it up and it's cookies? Cookies? I'd eat the cookies.

Do you eat them? I don't feel like I could eat your cookies. Why not? Because you know I have drugged cookies. No, no, no. They're just cookies. If you sent me cookies, I would trust you enough to just eat them. Taylor does get piss tested by the federal government

a couple times a month. That's true, and I don't think he'd actually send cookies internationally to St. Louis. It would look really suspicious. Who checks the mail? This Stallone picture? I don't know. I just feel like it needs to be shared

it's freaking amazing it's the Tiger King cast um he's done a terrible job here frankly I'm having a hard time even picking him I'm guessing that Stallone is supposed to be Jeff Lowe yeah and the chick in the middle is the Tiger King herself

and then there's that bitch Carole Baskins that bitch Carole Baskins. Now that bitch Carol Baskins, I hope she dies. His voice is hilarious. You're going to get a bullet in your head. If it's the last thing

I do. If that's the last thing I do, it's the last thing I do, but at least I'll take that horrible bitch out with me. And you know what? Carol Baskins, and this is the way he is. It's just this Tiger King just saying straight up shit like carol baskin next time i see you face to face i'll fucking kill you how you like that how you like that i'll put this bullet right between your fucking teeth at the back of your head and and then he's like he's doing a radio show or a video podcast effectively and like the guy who was making like the films

he's like the guy who smoked the cigs that apparently was a creep i was talking about it's just like you know he was obsessed with it he was obsessed with this online show i don't know if we ever had more than 80 people watching but every night he had to do the tiger king at one point said people don't come here for the tigers they come here for me and when i heard that i thought it was crazy but then his time passed i was like maybe that's not so crazy maybe his personality does turn a couple of cats in the weeds into something amazing where you're just for the tigers come back for the crazy. His personality is a big selling point. That's true. He's a wacky dude. You know what my favorite part is?

I think one of the most hilarious parts of the whole show to me. Essentially, one of his employees gets his arm. It's a transsexual person, by the way. He prefers that pronoun. Wait, what? Yeah. Is, what?

Is that girl? The girl with her arm ripped off? Are you going to misgender this individual? I thought she was all girl. She identifies as a man? How do you know this? Because I've been digging into this show all fucking week, Taylor. I'm obsessed.

She identifies as a man? She identifies as a man. What gave it away? The Levi jeans and the skinhead haircut and the fact she served in two wars? She just looked like a kind of standard lesbian. He. Okay.

I can't believe you just misgendered her. Gosh. Double misgender. Strike two. Bigot alert. Hey, I'm Anthony Bigotoni bigotoni i didn't know i i was like i i actually thought it was the other way i was like she used to be a guy because she's so girl that never even occurred to me she was anything but girl and i mean that's what everybody watching felt i feel

like i need to pull up an in a picture of this individual that Woody thought, she's so girl. This reminds me, this is just like the rafting trip when that bitch had a happy trail better than mine. And Woody was like, that's a hot girl. She was smoking. That was a good chick. It's not even about the look as much as like, if I could have watched the scenes with that person

with my eyes closed like and it would have obviously been female voice you know her name was sass right i can't google it saff i think it was like s-a-f-f what's her nickname thank you brick check yeah the voice was totally female sounding she didn't even try to do guy voice although you know now that i look at her through that lens i do see her vibe a little dude-ish if i'm being 100 honest every time she's on screen i'm looking at her fucked up stump arm yeah i mean i mean queb like does the person in the middle there vibe all girl to you? Not at all. That picture isn't very representative. It's the first one that pops up,

but okay. Oh, yeah. There's a lady. She's a lady. For the stream, they're looking at the same picture you are. She's a lady. at the same picture you are. She's a leader. You can see that she's a damn queen. The big difference to me is the skin.

I think she's wearing makeup. American woman! Makeup? Stay away from me! You don't even have to look at her. The voice was enough immediately. The androgynous look physically, the second the voice starts coming out, you're like...

When you heard the voice, were you thinking, oh, that's a male voice? Of course not. Look, I'm just saying, she's not all woman, and I'm letting you know he is trans, and he prefers to go by those pronouns. I know i only care about i want to

hear stories about the arm getting ripped off well i was trying to get there you started misgendering and you double misgendered and then queb had to be convinced that woody is crazy when it comes to judging women's bodies a little bit you know personalities so best part to me is when she sticks her arm in one of the cages quebb, and the tiger rips it off and, and she's laying on the ground all bloody and they're tending it to it. Well, the tiger King, he runs to his,

he runs to his trailer first and he gets his EMS bomber jacket because he wants to be dressed appropriately for the occasion. You got to really delve deep to notice these little details. Then he goes to the gift shop. Keep in mind, Queb, these roadside... Yes. Oh, yeah. Keep in mind, these roadside zoos are a bit like a carnival

mixed with a petting zoo, mixed with like a restaurant. It's definitely not a petting zoo. It is. No, they pet cubs. They let you play with cubs. They let you play with little baby tigers. Yeah, the kids, everybody. They're all out there with these animals. Well, there's a gift shop with shirts and knickknacks

and keychains and all that bullshit. I'm going to say there's eight, nine customers in there. Mixed group. Fathers, daughters, husbands, wives, everybody's in there. He addresses the crowd. He says, I just want to be the first to let everyone know there's been an incident in the park. Someone had their arm ripped off.

If you would like refunds, I will give them or I can give you a credit for a rain check and you can come back another day. That was one of the funniest scenes he did. And then he walks away in private and he goes i am never gonna financially recover from this and he's crying and he's like he starts crying like

his eyes are watering and you think man he's really thinking about you know his employee that he loves because they're all big families like i'm never gonna financially recover from this the way like i'm glad you pointed that out, Kyle, because I also thought that was hilarious when he goes into the gift shop and he starts out a little diplomatic, like he's going to kind of downplay it and say what happened,

but not in so many details. But he just straight up says, now one of our employees stuck their arm in the cage, and the tiger tore it off. Not like there was an injury, there was an incident. Now, the tiger tore the arm off, and now I'll give you a refund. It started off with like, hey, I want to tell you and don't want you to be reading it in the papers and stuff like that. So it seemed like he wasn't going to really dive into it, but then he did. The question is, why?

Why was his arm in the cage? Because it's like, you know, it's like those cages. It was a mistake. It was a bad decision. Yeah, probably like manipulating something inside the cage or grabbing a thing they dropped. They might have been loving up the tiger. Feeding the tiger, petting the tiger. Something that they shouldn't have been doing,

but they did. And the person recognized that it was their fault. So they go into the hospital and the surgeon says, look, it'll take two years of reconstructive surgeries, but we can save the arm. And he says, no, that would look bad if I were in the hospital for that long. Take the arm. And they're back on

the, in the zoo seven days later. I felt bad for him when that happened. Like, come on, fix your arm. Like take some time off. Don't just say, who needed that one? No, we only have two. And you still work at a tiger park. Bitch, go on. Go to Jiffy Lube or something. I can see you're losing more.

Like, oh, I wish I took the same arm twice. That'd be so much better. You could shorten the stump a little. They show him working at the at the like park afterward clearly no longer a useful employee like using the

stub to like kind of hold down the the net like on a little length I thought she was useful maybe not as good as she could have been but she was out there working I bet the ladies love that though that's thinking. Kyle, your interpretation.

There is a scene in there where Tiger Joe, Tiger King, whatever. Joe Exotic. Joe Exotic, thank you. Joe Shryfocal. He's convinced. So he thinks that someone put cologne on his boots, which tigers apparently just love.

Tigers are going after his cowboy boots. They start dragging him. He takes his gun out, pops it next to the tiger, catches it, threatens the tiger. I will put this bullet right between your eyes. Do you think somebody sabotaged his boots? I saw an interview with someone who used to work at the park and they said that they thought that he probably was in a different enclosure and like stepped in or on something that smelled funny to the tiger. Like, like, I don't know, giraffe piss or kangaroo or kangaroo shit or an orangutan

thumbnail or something like that. I think it's pretty unlikely that anybody did anything like that. He said that the idea that nobody came to his aid because everybody hates him was bullshit though, because he would never want somebody to run in there unless they were trained. And the only person who was trained to be in there with three or four, 500 pound tigers would be the guy operating the gate. And like their number one quarantine procedure is the guy stays at the gate at all times. Like the gate is the most important thing. The park, the cats getting into the park is like the ultimate no-no. It's like if you're in a

submarine or in a spacecraft, it's like maintain the airlock. It's one of those deals. I think that's bullshit, but it was very telling when he's like, that bitch Carol Baskins had somebody put cologne on my boot. Then they go to Carol Baskins and she's like, well, I wouldn't put cologne on his boot if And then they go to Carol Baskins and she's like, well, I wouldn't put cologne on his boot if I wanted a tiger to eat him. I'd use sardine oil. They go crazy for that.

And they're like, you fed your husband to the fucking tigers, you bitch. Your tiger Costa and your fucking tiger Rica ate that motherfucker. That's where he is. That's where he is.

She's like the epitome of that. Like, what is it? That old saying? It's like, me think stop thou protest too much where like it'll be a normal interview with her during the show and then they'll be like now i just want to ask you carol a lot of rumors going around about you feeding your husband to a tiger and killing him and having the evidence hidden that way and she'll go from like mostly a normal interview to like, Oh, Hillary Clinton. Oh, Oh,

that is, that is just the silliest thing you could ever say. How, how ridiculous of you. Now I would never with a bunch of eye rolls, feed anyone to a cat. That's cruel. And like,

like she, and I, it was when she was doing one of those interviews and I'm like this fucking cunt fed her husband to a cat yeah absolutely i would go on the stand and testify without having any knowledge not required how do you know did you see the eye rolls did you did you watch the show she looked like hillary she reminded me so much of hillary clinton telling us that she did not wipe that server. She just... You mean with a cloth? Boom!

I hate that one. I hate Carol Baskins. My levels of hatred. Let's see. Who was it that I was recently saying that I hated more than Hillary Clinton? It's another politician. No, it's...

She's awful. But the world hates her enough already. more than Hillary Clinton. It's another politician. No, it's... She's awful. But the world hates her enough already. It's Elizabeth Warren. Elizabeth Warren, worst human being with a vagina alive. Oh, Hillary, easily out-hatables. You gotta watch more Elizabeth Warren clips.

You're right, I haven't really watched any of her clips. She looks like my fucking fourth grade teacher mr thompson those glasses this fucking fake indian nonsense this is kyle's fourth grade ptsd coming out no i that that my fourth grade teacher was a lady and i talked about that cunt last week so so that's just that's just that's nonsense. She is my most hated person with a vagina on the planet. Then Hillary Clinton.

Then Carol Baskin. That's the trifecta. I would definitely rank Carol Baskin over Elizabeth Warren as far as dislikability. That's also because I don't watch don't watch elizabeth warren

clips i never like really gave a shit but i've had i just watched tiger king so i don't see the elizabeth warren hate like i don't like i can see why you wouldn't like her policies i can see why you'd say she's promising things that she doesn't know how to pay for like that i can all line up with but her like being just awful to exist in the same room with doesn't hit me like that i can all line up with but her like being just awful to exist in the same room with doesn't hit me like that i don't know i i can't think of the clip the clip specifically that that like rubbed me the wrong way so much but i've definitely seen clips of her where i was just like filled with rage watching she seems like she'd be obnoxious to be around like like i i just hate it like like's such a fake, phony fucking person.

And it upsets me that other people can't see it. She is a phony. I mean, she lied about her ethnicity to get a high-paying job at Harvard for fucking years. I mean, regardless of what the rewards were, she did lie about her ethnicity for years. And that alone is enough. I've heard him go back and forth about what she may or may not have profited or benefited from her lies the fact that she lied and that's enough for me like like now she did profit yeah well in any case that it's irrelevant to me the fact is that she lied about that for so many years and i loved loved loved when like the

i don't know the head chief of the cherokee nation came out and was like we're getting pretty tired of your bullshit like just called her out on it when her dna i'm almost entirely sure you're some kind of irish do you see how my skin looks do you see how my name and my name of my children are all silly names positions squatting bear. Sitting cub. Things like that. Your name's Elizabeth Warren. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, that's... My daughter, one-legged pigeon, really got the short end of the stick. Yeah. What was it? My daughter, spread eagle. And my son, Hog Wild. They have cool names.

Spread Eagle is the worst woman's name. That's terrible. Spread Eagle. Preb's not getting our Native American Indian jokes at all. You know, you don't really have them over here. We don't really have them here anymore, either. A little smallpox.

They're mostly in Oklahoma. This perhaps was China's like they're doing to us to what we did to savage Americans. They're going to populate Americaulate america by uh you know giving us new smallpox the coronas the coronas yeah i don't i don't see how that's analogous with european settlers here at all but we'll see it's not like chinese people are immune to it that's true but based on their numbers you'd think they were those lying bastards. Look at their numbers. It's insane.

It's a conspiracy theory. It's not fully worked out yet. Even our own media is being like, the U.S. overtakes China in number of cases. Of course, because it makes Trump look bad. Of course, it makes Trump look bad. The media has no obligation to the truth. They would rather believe a Chinese lie than they would rather believe and propagate

a Chinese lie than not have more ammunition to shoot a truck. If you ask any journalist, unironically, America First, obviously, that's our country. Every country should put themselves first in their ideology. But like... When he said America First, did he mean most

corona cases? Oh, America First, that's funny. corona cases? America first. Oh, America first. That's funny. That's funny. Thank you for filling me in on that. I missed it. Thank you, Al. All of these journalists who are like, oh, China's even doing better than us.

The U.S. overtakes China, over doubled the China cases. It's like if your life depended on it, like that journalist, and it was like, do you genuinely believe China is reporting accurately? Yes. If there was a gun to their head, 100% of them would say, no, obviously not. But it's really useful ammunition against this orange face. Okay. But listen, here's what happened. All right.

Corona epidemic, whatever pandemic happened in China in china right they closed down people's homes they said nobody's leaving their homes you're just gonna like you're staying there you're not allowed to go in the streets what's up america flights still go everything is still happening you know want to go to wherever you want to go? Go ahead, do your thing, right? Not me. If they barred my door, it would take me four days to notice. You're about to get the mail and you're like, what the hell? How long is this thing here? People are not taking it seriously, right?

There's a lot of people who are, but then there's a lot of people who aren't. And they're like, whatever, whatever. You know, if I just, I can take a flight to this place oh i i just have a bad cough but that we're still accepting flights from china how fucking bananas is that you can you can you can fly to china trump says he closed down the flights from china what am i missing maybe he did at this point. That was one of the first. They tout that as his amazing, wonderful decision. Early out. Early. Only

a brilliant tactician like Trump would be shutting down flights from China. You know what Trump is doing that I'm sure you'll like? They're turning away those... $265 cheap flights from Chicago to Beijing. Just found it on Expedia. That's the other way. What? You've got to be able to come back. I mean, I can book

a round trip. Can you for real? It's the default round trip. So, they are still doing flights for people who are like stranded in certain locations. So, you can always fly back. They're not just gonna leave you in Beijing

and be like, yeah, well, you're Americans. No flights back, I guess. So they're flying like almost empty flights just to pick up people from certain destinations too. I'm only as good as my sources. I'll tell you one thing you will like, Woody. I could be wrong. Those fucking cruise ships that are flagged in the bahamas and panama everything they're showing up with all these sick people and the coast guard's saying

the bahamas are that way bro yeah panama quick correction i was wrong expedia has that as an option but it's at least from the date that i picked it said no available flights so i guess trump did do that you fact-check checking asshole how dare you i saw the expedia link and then i clicked it and that fact checked it i i know i know fact checking is bad it's bad to fact check just roll by the sea i like this pka come on man so i watched the jre i think i've said this on i don't know if i said this in a live stream or the show but whenever they're like jamie get to the bottom of it, and he comes back, I like that. Like that's a thing I really like.

So I try to make the kind of show that I would like, and that was the origination of – I think I may have overdone it though, but yeah. It's so funny how different we are even though we all are friends and we hang out. Like when that happens in a podcast and like a minute after the topic kind of is naturally concluded and then jamie pops back in with like actually joe you're right uh chimpanzees do have big balls and tiny dicks like i'm like who cares i don't i don't give a shit like it's like it would be different if it was like a knowledgeable podcast like when that guy uh the the coronavirus expert the virologist or whatever was on there, I appreciated his little fact checks. But if it's

Joey Diaz, I don't give a fuck. There's a whole montage of Joey Diaz mispronouncing people's names. I love it. What a fool. Oh, there's Calabeeb. There's Calabeeb. There's Stiochik. He's trying to say Steve

Amy Ochik. I'll tell you this, Joe Rogan. They've been friends for like 20 years. He calls it my first and last name. Joe Rogan does have to settle the fuck down about pumping Joey Diaz's tires where he's like, and now the, the funniest man on earth. And it's like, he's barely the funniest one in the room he can have an opinion all right i look if he's i see that no different than him being like look this is the best ice cream that exists all right he's giving you his opinion to joe robin the funniest person in the world let me do my hot ill thought hot takes no let me do it i won't i'll tell you what the greatest i'll tell you now that you've done with Tiger King, what you can watch next,

and that is Burt Kreischer's new special, Hey There, Big Boy. Next, I'm going over to Ozark. I want to watch season three of Ozark. This is 50 minutes, though. Ozark is like 12 episodes an hour long each, right? You'll find me on Escape from Tarkov all the time. Burt Kreischer would be a great guy to get on the show if we could.

Kreischer's hilarious. The Machine is one of my favorite stories of all time. But his new special, very good. I'm happy for that. It's great. Like I said, it's called Hey There, Big Boy.

He should put a shirt on. It's too gimmicky. I do think it's too gimmicky, but I'll reserve judgment until I see the show. I don't know why i connect with bert but for some reason i root for that guy there's a couple guys i root for uh chris pratt comes to mind there's some others john yeah he's like zanksky from the office who knows yeah john kazinsky thank you um yeah and for whatever reason bert christ here i'm just like i hope that guy does well in his career and his life. He's done really well.

I think a lot of comics would envy his career, but it also hasn't been easy and smooth and without its difficulties. I'll spoil one of his jokes if you'll allow me. He goes into Starbucks. He's like, I walk in and it's this black kid behind the the counter. And he's freaking out as soon as he sees me. He's like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. What's up, dog? You know Joe Rogan.

He's like, yeah, I love Joe Rogan. He is funny as fuck. Best comedian ever. He's like, yeah, yeah. What about me? What about you? you like i don't really i don't really like it he's like so now i've been challenged i gotta i gotta take this kid down i gotta make him laugh i gotta show him i'm a funny guy i'm a professional this is what i do so i he takes my orders i want to i want a venti coffee and He goes, should I leave room for cream?

He goes, no. I don't want it to know its father. Progressively, more and more racist jokes about how he wants his coffee black. I didn't tell it well. I told it poorly. He told it very well. It's very funny.

I told it poorly. I messed it poorly. But he tells it very well, and it's very funny. It's very funny. I told it poorly. I messed it up. I only heard it once. But the special's very good. I liked it a lot. He talks about his wife, about his daughters, how stupid his daughters are. So I had to prove how funny I was. So

I took off my shirt, of course. I did a hot five. One of his daughters is so dumb. One of his daughters is so dumb, she thought that everybody had the same dreams at night. Like if she had a dream about a robot, she thinks everybody else had the robot dream too. He's like, she's 12.

Dude, that's genuinely a dumb 12-year-old. Yeah. Like, he got left with his daughters by himself. And he's like, one of my daughters just brought a bag of rice for lunch. I was like, a bag of rice? What are you, an old Chinese man? What do you mean? Wasn't it terrible?

She's like, well, it could have used soy sauce. Then I find out she didn't just bring a bag of rice she microwaved an uncle ben's pack of rice for two extra minutes mind you so it'd still be hot at lunch threw it in her backpack where it promptly exploded so then she just ate it out of her backpack at lunch. Like an orangutan or something. That chick's cool. She did it all with her shirt off. Yeah, I like that guy a lot. Very good special.

Definitely worth a watch. And like Woody, he's one of those people that I like to see succeed as well. We've got a similar group of people. Another one that I would add to that list is the guy from office space the the main character whose name's escaping me right now sure sure yeah he was a band of brothers as well i see him in anything i'm like i'm like i i want to support that guy i want him to like do well it's not john barron livingston ron livingston yeah office space like like you know some people have like their own theme song like that song represent who they are that's movie hit so close to home for me you know like they had tps

reports we had metrics where we'd enter what we did every hour of the day yeah and like dude there was like my my girlfriend does not work in the business world and i told her this is probably almost a year ago now i was like oh i got scrolling around on netflix we were sitting around together i was like oh office space have you ever seen this this is so fucking funny and i put it on and because she has never worked anywhere even in the vicinity of the business world like all the little jokes about working in an office that someone like me or Woody or Kyle from his car days would enjoy is like, she's just not, not getting, not getting the,

the annoying boss. Hey, well, I was hoping coming on Saturday, that would be great. Oh yeah. And I'm also going to need you to come on in on Sunday. Did you get the memo about we're putting cover sheets on the reports now?

The TPS reports. I noticed that most recent one. Yeah, I got the memo. I've got it right. It's great. I had three bosses. You know what? I'm going to have to have to say to you.

I noticed you've been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob. I had three bosses when I watched that movie. I was told I wouldn't have to move my desk again. I was told. They move me three times now. I used to be next to the window and I could see the squirrels and they would play and they were married.

I was told that I could keep my own stapler. This is my stapler. I was told that it could bring it with me. Got the swing line. They didn't make a red stapler. This is my stapler. I was told that it could bring it with me. You got the swing line fucking stapler. Swing line didn't make a red stapler. They made one because of the movie. That's so funny. Yeah.

You know that the whole Office Space movie is based on Mike Judge's, like, not cartoon, but like, what do you call those funnies in the paper? Milton. And Milton is the guy who's complaining about the stapler. He's Milton. He was the star of the comic strip. That's what you call him. He expanded upon Milton to make him a character in the office space

world. That's really funny. Great fucking movie. Everybody in it's good. I love when he's like the bobs are going over who they're firing and letting go. He's just like uh hamir naga i'm your naga not gonna work here anymore he's like the bet all right did you see that office space meme that's floating around you know the old office space meme where it's like what would you do with a million dollars two girls at the same time brother

and it's just a picture of that same guy and it's like what would you do with the 250 tigers two dudes at the same time not all dudes are into tigers kind of double up on a dude like me are yeah it's a great movie it's it's so good like like i i'm sure it appeals to woody and like like it's oh that's how it is but like anybody who's been in like any sort of like any corporate setting you any corporate setting any fucking punch that time clock and go sit at that desk and there's like a format for everything and like like like selling cars was like that there was a packet of of of so much paperwork i did so much paperwork you know it just stamps i had four fucking stamps i owned stamps my cube was at the

end of a row of cubes and uh you know how they like unscrewed it and knocked it down i get to work and i'm like this thing like all the cubes are 90 degree angles, right? They make squares or rectangles or something. And I'm like, huh, this thing bends. So I push it out into the hallway as far as I can. It moves like 16 inches. I make my cubes 16 inches bigger in my act of defiance. Nice. Yes.

They're like, what's with this guy's fucking cube? That's pretty Alf. I just had that little quote in my head where he's like, what's with this guy's fucking cube? That's pretty alf. I just had that little quote in my head where he's like, corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment. I think you could turn that radio down. I was told that I could listen to the radio when I work. Well, yeah, I know you're allowed to.

I was just thinking it's a personal favor to me. They said that Carl can listen to his headphones while he's filing, so I don't understand why I can't listen to the radio while I'm collating. While I'm collating? I wish I could use the radio between 8 and 11 a.m. Yeah, that movie,

if anybody out there listening to this hasn't watched Office Space, that movie is a fucking stitch. So funny. Yeah, I like the music even. It's just like... The wannabe gangster gangster thing it's on my playlist right now that's a really funny like when he fucking pulls into lumberg's parking space like damn it feels good to be i mean one that you don't really know that's unbelievable club right around town i will for some reason they play recommendations for some reason they play the edited version of that song though i've never understood that like like like

instead of like like i know every lyric to that song for some odd reason and they're like instead of dropped out benzene this is my black six four he's always got a hard can't tell him his boys oh yeah i'm trying to skip over that that's what i'm doing right now he's trying to skip the end wannabe gonna be pussy eating cock sucking pranksters like that's one of the lyrics and they're like i don't know they do the radio edited version where it's like wannabe gonna be prissy kind of wanna be all they did was replace they made it prankster instead of pranks yeah it's it's but there's a couple of them where it's just like soft and ruined this song oh it wasn't gangster they didn't go from gangster to prankster there was one where it was sucking pussy eating prankster

was different it was something else some sort of radio edit uh version of that and it was i don't know it's kind of lame that that's the only thing that i that i don't like about the movie but i love that shit i don't like about america guys that the radios are censored yep it's true but not here not on pka uncensored for the most part you know there's a lot of things i wish i could say i can think of two words in particular that I'm not allowed to say. I was joking about brother and F word. But not fuck. The F word that all of a sudden is like, no, that one's bad.

Brother and maggot work out okay. People get it. You said that last week. I said what I want. You guys all have fuck you money i'm i'm a peon down here oh well and you're you're in the corporate world still you probably shouldn't be calling people cocksucking pussy eating pranksters or whatever the corporate i didn't know i was shutting the door. I'm just riding this wave to the beach until it eventually crashes. We'll see what happens.

Well, in any case, yeah, check out Burt Chrysler's Hey There, Big Boy. Check out – I definitely got to get on that Ozark train because I keep reading that season three is much better than season two. And I thought season two was okay. I thought season two and season – well, season one was the best. Season two was still good. Kept me engaged the whole time. Season three, I have high hopes. Everybody seems to be saying it's great yeah yeah i'm definitely down i'm looking forward to it uh what's the name of that guy jason bay bateman something bateman

yeah yeah he was in um he was in that uh that stephen king shit we watched uh the other day yeah uh the outsider the outsider yeah yeah that that that's one of the guys i'm rooting for i the other day. The Outsider? The Outsider, yeah. That's one of the guys I'm rooting for. I really like him. I know he's really successful. He's all good. I'm just saying, I really like him as an actor. Another guy, if I see him in a movie, that I'm definitely going to give it a second look, is Edward Norton.

I really like him. Ever since I saw Moon for the first time. Have you ever seen Moon? Yeah. I've seen it. Kyle, have you seen Moon? Holy shit. Have you ever seen Moon? No, no, no. The thing is, I don't think Edward Norton's in Moon.

Oh, I'm doing that thing where I mix them up again. Have you guys seen Parasite? It's not Edward Norton. It's Sam Rockwell. I always mix up Sam Rockwell and Ed Norton. Sam Rockwell is who I like. I like Ed Norton, too. He's good.

Ed Norton's known to be a piece of shit. Nobody likes working with him, and that's why his career is the way it is right now, despite him being such a talented actor and having such a good everything from American History X. He was in the Marvel Universe. He was Hulk. Okay, well then, scratch that. I meant American History X. I mean, he was in the Marvel Universe. He was Hulk. Yeah, and he got...

Okay, well then, scratch that. I meant Sam Rockwell. I like him. No, I'll sign off on Sam Rockwell. I'll tell you who else I like. The, um... Fuck! The red-haired guy from 310 to Yuma.

Red-haired guy. We have not seen Parasite, but I'm sure we all have. I've seen Parasite. I thought it was good. Was it Ben Foster? It's Ben Foster. He's so fucking good in everything he does.

Have you ever seen 30 Days of Night? It's a really good vampire movie based on a graphic novel. They're in Alaska in this town that gets a month of darkness, and the vampires choose that kind of stuff. Oh, I have seen this. Go in. Yeah, good fucking movie nice vampire movie they're very uh feral so the uh you were saying queb parasite uh kyle still hasn't seen it you

i think you would enjoy one one of my favorite oh i'm sure i will last year yeah yeah i'm sure it makes you empathize for the right people at the right times. Like where, you know, there are times even where you almost hesitantly are empathetic with the totally detached rich people. But for the most part, it's like you're watching these poor people try and survive. And the fact that it is in subtitles makes you pay attention so much more. Like if I'm watching Office Space or something. To me, that's every movie, you know. That's every movie for you how do you speak english yeah but still like i still read subtitles because i've have been reading it since i was a kid oh i never thought about it so i guess

you grew up watching english movies just with subtitles to me to me it doesn't matter if it's a french spanish english or japanese movie all the same. Do you speak any other languages other than English and whatever you people speak over there? I speak French, but I need to warm up. If I go to France for a week, I'll be able to have a proper conversation in Spanish.

I used to live in Spain for a few months. Hola, buenos dias, but also rusty. I like movies with subtitles i i think they can really pull you in i watched some sort of a uh like a viking movie the other day that was all in um fucking norwegian or whatever those fuckers speak beautiful language i i really enjoyed listening to it and i didn't mind reading this yes um certainly yeah and uh and anyway i have no problem with the reading i think some people are just lazy my thing is i like to multitask sometimes like not throughout the whole movie

don't get me wrong but like if it's just a popcorn movie especially even eating even eating is hard you can't do anything you have to be a hundred percent because like i would i would check my phone all of a sudden i get a text message and I'd be like, shit, 30 seconds just went by and I don't speak Norwegian. Exactly. Fuck. I had to stop and rewind so many times in Parasite because you'll get distracted.

I like it when movies are dubbed. If there's an English audio, it depends. I've seen some really good ones. There's a movie that was dubbed netflix movie uh what was the heist movie was it called the heist oh um you are you talking about the raid um the raid's great there's that pretty girl all the characters had um uh city names on netflix you recommended it to me.

Call it six months ago. Heist. Denver was a character. There was actually two or three seasons. Stockholm was a character in the show. I know you know this. Was this reality or a drama?

It was a drama. It was one of those really well thought out crimes where they've got a plan for every alternative. Stockholm. There was a really hot chick. And it had girls. It fell for a young guy. It had two hot girls at least.

Two or three. Netflix heist movie. I'm looking. I have no idea what you're talking about spring to your head because i know you watch this how is joker by the way joker kicked ass yeah i got a little little poster i know i know that's that's why yeah that's my it's called money the year by far by far joker was my favorite i went the year. By far. By far, Joker was my favorite. I went into it. I'll watch it tomorrow. Yeah, I'm not a superhero guy at all. I haven't seen any Marvel movies

since fucking Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm sure you did. I've never seen this or heard of this before in my life. We talked about it on the show several times. I'm sorry, but no.

Audience, one of us is crazy. You're almost crazy, man. I've never seen this before or heard of it in my life. And frankly, it doesn't look very good to me. No, I'm sorry. I have no memory of this. Well, speaking of movies that you might... Ah, Spanish. This is a Spanish movie with the levels.

Two per level, right? Yes. It's dubbed, though. I watched it on Netflix last week, I believe. It was really good. It's a very, very interesting kind of initial concept. So English audio? It's English audio dubbed. That's what was keeping me away.

All right, I'll check it out. No, it's English audio. It's an interesting movie. I wasn't... I won't give anything away. I was not pleased with the way it ended. Have you ever seen Cube? I didn't feel like it was filled. Yes, I've watched Cube.

Is this anything like that? It's better than Cube. Well, similar premise is what I'm asking. We'll say similar. We'll say similar. Okay, that's all I need. Yeah, yeah. I don't need any spoilers.

Yeah, I've watched Cube. I've watched Cube 2. I've watched Cube 3. Hyper Cube. Uh-huh. I've watched all the Cubes watched Cube 2 I've watched Cube 3, Hyper Cube I've watched all the Cubes Those movies Terrible They're awful, but there were times years ago sitting around where I'd be like

you know, real, real sober and just want something to watch that was silly, and those movies fulfilled I watched Cube one night I don't know,time or stars it was like oh i've seen this on shelves cube let's see and then but it's so open-ended at the end it's almost like the first saw movie where you're like well i gotta know what this is what the fuck was i just watch what is even going so you go to you go to cube two no answers

totally not linear plot they just picked a different line somewhere else to thread like it doesn't make any sense yeah cube three hypercube is one of the worst movies on earth yes it's so bad it's like if you gave me two million dollars and said make the worst thing you can i couldn't compete with hypercube uh-uh no you couldn't come close you know what the worst movie of all time though in my opinion my opinion, is? The Room. Samurai Cop. I've never seen Samurai Cop. You don't know about Samurai Cop? No. Samurai Cop, a 1991 action comedy featuring Matt Hannon, Mark Frazier, Robert Zadar, Melissa Moore, and other household names.

I want to say it's directed it's it's like directed by an directed and written by this iranian man and the and as the main star was like going into it he was like well i'm reading the script here um it doesn't seem like he has a firm grasp on the english language so i think i'm going to be able to ad lib right and they're like yeah yeah you can mix it up as you go turned out that was a lot yeah So there are these long sequences where he's just reading lines completely unheard. At one point, he thought he was done filming the samurai cop, the star.

And so he cut off that long hair you're seeing him wear. And the director was like, what have you done? What have you done? So many more scenes to shoot. And he's like, so we had to go get a wig. And so the second half of the movie, you could terrible wig terrible wig the whole time it's awful he's not a samurai cop by the way he's just a cop and there's a scene at the very end where he has a sword fight so basically this guy amir shervin uh hollywood cop came out in 87 samurai cop came out in 91 samurai cop 2

deadly vengeance came out in 2015 which is interesting because amir shervin died in 2006 so they're letting his legacy live on i guess i don't suppose we could watch the trailer for this. I don't know. I'm asking Woody. Copyright claiming. No worries. I wouldn't do it. That Netflix check hit different. That's a funny meme. Oh, damn. That's a big improvement.

Wait, is that the same guy? I'm glad you said that, Taylor, because I felt like I was retarded for not being sure. Oh, I'll brave that storm for you, buddy. I've talked about it before. It's practically a disability. I see the people and I'm like, I'm not sure if that's the same person.

Man, he's looking great now. Good for him. Isn't it crazy how just teeth can make someone look so much better? It is, though. We're laughing. Just having teeth. Yeah, but I mean. Taylor, is The Room a good movie or a bad movie? It's a movie that's known because of how bad it is.

But it's good bad. It's like, it's not bad bad. I think what you should do is you should watch like a review on it. Because they'll be like, it's not like the green screen scenes. Oh, this is hilarious bad. I just linked to one of Chris Stuckman's videos. It's his review of Samurai Cop. Chris Stuckman's intro is a clip from the room.

It's him walking onto that roof and going i did not hit her this is copyright it's bullshit oh you can't show the room no like okay i didn't know okay you never know i don't know we get copyright claims on some of these car fighting people your network sucks oh that's gone no all networks oh yeah network well that's protect you anymore yeah kyle hook woody up with the good ass network i can't help him with that but but like i would look into like let me help you can yeah probably knows the pro here all right so you get copyright claims there's a few things you can do. You can fight it, claim fair use. Nobody's ever going to sue you.

If they do, you have a great case because what you're doing right now is fair use. You're missing the point, though. The issue is we don't want the... Once they put the copyright claim on us, they've won if it stays on for more than an hour. Like it's the diminished... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a new system in place where it puts it into... You know, what do you call those accounts?

It's 5 a.m., guys. I'm tired. It's one of those... Escrow accounts. Yeah, but we lose all the time. As a matter of fact, we used to... No, you don't. You can keep on countering.

They will have to take your video down. You counter that takedown, and then they need to take you to court. Nobody's going to take you to court because it's a lost case for them. Coming from someone who deals with these claims literally every week. We should talk offline.

I'm curious about it. Because to me, I counter it. And then after I lose, there are no other buttons to click. There's nowhere else to go. I'll walk you through it some other day. But anyways, that's option number one. Option number two is you just cut it out. Cut out the segment.

Sometimes I do that. Or sometimes I just... I think last week it happened to us. And I just put a black... number two is you just cut it out cut out the segment sometimes i do that or um sometimes i just uh like i think last week it happened to us and i just put a black we were watching those uh medieval knights fight right copyright claim so i just put black over the things so people couldn't see it see that's such bullshit like like maybe there's a way how about this maybe there's a way to it's the audio though too like a lot of this it's both it's both because what i've seen joe rogan do is take the video and bring it in um i don't know what you call that where like it's like semi-transparent and they

move it and stuff so they put it over like they put in its own it's in the background of of like of his video but semi-transparent like it's it's 50 the background of his video, but semi-transparent. It's 50% the video and 50% his background. There are ways to game the system, but at the end of the day... Maybe even mirroring it? That doesn't work. Whenever you have copyrighted materials in your YouTube video,

best thing to do is just know your rights, know that it is allowed. This podcast is not, you know, its selling point isn't this one short trailer we're watching for 30 seconds at the four hour mark, you know? So, and it's considered fair use because it's, people are watching it. It is fair use. For our reaction and us reviewing it and talking about it, it's completely fine. So all you have to do is just know how to tell these guys, hey, this is fair use.

I'm ready to lawyer up. Let's go to court or don't do this, right? And that's how I always respond. And nobody's ever taken me to court. And if they want to take me to court, let's go. I'll have plenty of money. I'll beat you in court. There's plenty of people who've already won in court, too. Right. And nobody is going to go take you to court for the ad revenue on a, you know, on a YouTube video. Right. Doesn't make sense.

YouTube video. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, if there was a way that we could do it with some button pressing and no legal action preferably, then it would be cool to be able to play 10 minutes of Samurai Cop on and off. Play 5 minutes and then joke around about that. I'm telling you. It's so

funny. And again, it's not funny on purpose. It's kind of hard to explain like what makes a bad movie good like like they can't they have to be trying like there's movies like sharknado where they know what they are they're going for goofs they're like yeah let's make it ridiculously silly guys that's not what was happening with samurai cop they were trying to make like a lethal weapon ripoffoff type movie. This long-haired, muscled

up, good-looking guy is a hard-nosed cop with a black partner, and the ladies love him, and he can operate a samurai sword as well as he can his handgun, and it's just like this is hilariously bad. The acting is bad.

The premises are bad. The special is bad. The premises are bad. The special effects are absurd. It's hilarious. I'm told that with The Room, it's similar in how bad it is. But at first, they were, like, insulted by it. And then they pretended they were trying to do that. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That's funny, too. Yeah. What's funny to me is when they were trying their hardest and failed so supremely that it went the other way you know that that's when a movie is so bad it's good to me um there's some nicholas cage performances they're they're like that it's like he wasn't going for goofs here he was trying his heart out it's so bad it's good and and that's what samurai cop is if anybody is into that sort of thing and you don't know about samurai cop you can either watch Chris Stuckman's

Review of it hilarious or I also like Redletter media. I've been binging hours and hours of their content during The quarantine they do movie reviews both good movies and bad movies and their bad movie reviews are called Best of the Worst, where they watch three terrible movies, and then they all judge which one was the best of the worst. It's a lot of fun. You mentioned the quarantine. Do you think the economy is going to pop right back

and just continue on its old trajectory? Yeah, absolutely. You think so? Yeah, I think it absolutely will, especially watching the news conference today. And that's what they're trying to have a roadmap for is with all the employer insurance and paying everyone to hold on to their employees so that when they say go, everybody can hit the ground running and get like right back to work. And there's not going to be a shitload of paperwork to do. It seems like it seems like things are just going to go right back

again. I don't see why it wouldn't. There's going to be huge amounts of demand for so many different things. Entertainment particularly. The movies are going to go bonkers. There's so many huge releases that are getting pushed and pushed and pushed. Maybe the studios are smart

enough to... Movies might be an exception with the whole traveling travel you're really picking ones that are like that i think might come back slowly those are the anti-quarantine like like sectors though in my opinion like like like but quarantine is all about locking down can't go anywhere we have to stay right here. And, like, everybody's vacation is just moving, moving, moving together until they're just stacking up, stacking up, stacking up. It's like, all right, we're free. Let's go on vacation. Everybody's going to want to go on vacation.

I do see the logic in what you're saying. I also think that, like, people might take a little while to gain comfort with that kind of thing again. Going on planes, going to movies you know that like there'll be a little social distancing that has to resolve itself slowly perhaps i think particularly if there is a very effective treatment and or a uh what do you call that thing that gives you autism? A vaccine. That's how I got it. Shit. Well, it's better than polio.

Then I think that then that'll really everybody. Oh, well, it's safe to go back in the water again. You know, we're good to go here. Let's let's let's go to Wally World. Let's let's go on a cruise. These people who are still going on cruises right now. Shame on them. They deserve to be sent to the Bahamas or Panama or wherever the fuck their boats are flagged in.

At first, I was like, well, wait a minute. Those are Americans on a Bahamian boat. They're the ones who are really getting the bad end of this deal. Then I thought, those are the stupidest Americans that we have. Those are the ones who thought three weeks ago, hey, who wants to go to the Bahamas? Well, I don't know, Dad. Rates are low. Wait, didn't you suggest that Taylor go back on a cruise because it's so cheap? I don't think so.

I mean, I say a lot of crazy things. Yeah, yeah. I think maybe, I'll tell you what I did suggest. I was saying that if I was free, I would... Ah, here's what I said. I know I said this at one point, like maybe three weeks ago, that if I were free to travel, then I would go to South Korea. Because, like, Taylor got an email from the cruise company

that he went with a while back, and you were like, you should go. I could be wrong. Can I jump in real quick? It stopped in Italy. Guys, this is time sensitive. Time sensitive. If I'm correct, we're three hours and 55, 56 minutes into the podcast right now?

Fifteen and a half. Go on. All right. So here's a conspiracy. All right. I'm going to link this. This video is three hours, 55 minutes, and 53 seconds long. It's a stream I did.

Completely random stream. You know, I streamed Fortnite once. All right? You see how many views it has? Yeah. 4.2 million. Jesus Christ. It has been getting those views.

It's been getting views consistently. Consistently. Since the day it was posted for two years it gets thousands of views a day right that's weird why would you say is fortnite so big no no no no no conspiracy time so the average view duration on the stream is also very consistent it's 33 percent oh now i speak to a lot of people about these crazy type of conspiracies why does youtube promote my weird stream about outdated fortnite content to people on youtube and here's why all All right? This is a conspiracy. So it's a thing that has jumped out of the YouTube algorithm where the YouTube algorithm notices people are watching Fortnite videos and they're falling asleep.

And they've noticed that while these people are falling asleep, if they autoplay this content right when they fall asleep, they tend to usually watch it for about an hour before waking up. Now, according to the YouTube algorithm, that is really good watch time. And that's why three hours, 55 minutes seems to be the sweet spot. Yeah. I used to tell people all the time, like,

like my videos are a playlist. Click play, go to school. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So I did that for you. YouTube algorithm.

No, no, no. I think he's telling us to shrink our video by five minutes. Yeah. The YouTube algorithm will notice right the youtube algorithm will see hey someone you've been auto playing they'll just log you out and they'll stop counting uh whatever but with this system it puts it it knows you're falling asleep it'll throw this video at you. And before it ends, before the system trigger is, hey, you're AFK, you wake up. And then it's still an authentic view. So give it a shot.

Try it out. This is now. Three hours and 55 seconds. No. And now that you know, you'll see these three hours and 55 second videos pop up. If you search stuff like meditation people are doing it all the time 355 it is it's three hours three to four hours there there are these there are these sweet spots well we now do a three hour and 55 minute

podcast uh if you're listening i'm saying it's a conspiracy right let's actually do that next episode it's a theory is what it is and and we're going to try it out next time. Next episode, let's just go 355 exactly and see what happens. Do it. Do it. I like the idea. Okay, guys, here's another. So I found one which is three hours.

Here's another one. Beautiful, relaxing music for stress relief. It's three hours, 36. We need to tap into that sleeping audience. Right? That's the demo we could do. The sleeping audience. Now, y'all be mocking into all these awake fellas.

When really. Guys, three hours, 30 minutes. Three hours, 30 minutes minutes here's another one um they exist guys and they are it's very strange there's no way those are six and seven million views yeah that's right anyways i had to drop that conspiracy right at the three hours well we'll attempt'll attempt it. You never know. You never know. Give it a shot. Yeah, you never know.

Is that four hours? We will know. Well, Quip, we appreciate you coming on. Is there anything you'd like to plug before we all go ahead? Yes, guys. I want to plug something very important. Stay safe. Wash your hands.

Don't leave the house. Stop that corona. If you have corona stay inside don't spread it exactly that's how you're supposed to wash your hands guys that's that's the plug all right pka 485