Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #490

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

In this week's PKA, it's we've got the guy who only stabs when he knives you, the OG from Gameplay-Commentar Way... ONLYUSEmeBLADE has returned to PKA in oh so many years! And he doesn't come empty he handed. He takes the stage for the majority of the show, sharing story after story about his various adventures in the criminal justice system, whether that be doing time in prison with pedos & sexual crime felons... cause its a nicer facility OR running shop in jail through his gambling ring he'd set up. So many tales are told, Grimms' could learn a thing or two! So buckle up for one hell of an enjoyable & entertaining ride.  Sadly though for the majority of the show, Blade's internet was garbagio, using his phone to do the show so his audio does cut in and out, but you still make out most of what he says. Just a heads up so you know it's not the file/your headphones. When he does return to the show after a 20 minute iPhone recharge break, his audio is much better, bandwidth issues resolved. 

Painkiller already, episode 490 with our guest Only Use Me Blade, Kyle couple of sponsors tonight, ExpressVPN and Goat.com we'll get to them later on the show, but yeah, we've got Only Use Me Blade on the show tonight we didn't know if we were going to be able to get him in here, we had a little bit

of a mic kerfuffle when we started off, but I think we've gotten it fixed we started at like a 3 out of 10 I think we're at least to a 6 out of 10 on the microphone I think it's going least to a 6 out of 10 on the microphone. I think it's going to be good. Welcome aboard, man. G-minus.

That's passing. G-minus is passing. All right. That'll get you a degree. I knew 10 years later we're still having my talk. That's one of the main things we used to talk about a long time ago. When was I first on the show? Jesus.

I have no idea. It had to be towards the start. The early shows were kind of a blur for me for some reason. Well, as us Call of Duty guys, we used to gauge not what year it was, but what game was out. So I was probably talking to you during the Modern Warfare 2 or Black Ops 1. Yeah, I would think Modern Warfare 2, but yeah, something like that. Be sure to be nice and loud with that mic. Okay.

Yeah. So, Blade, did you say you were one month sober? Yes, technically I am one month sober. Oh, technically. Yeah, what is technically sober? We're just meth now? No, no, no. I'm not quite one month sober. I'm like three and a half weeks sober, if that makes sense.

So I just rounded up to make it sound good. I stopped shooting up. Now I just snort the heroin. Technically. I did do a stream with this guy. I don't know if you guys know him. His name is OG Geezer in Vegas. Because people were begging me to get out of this house.

There's nothing to do. There's no way to do actual irl streaming right now so um but i went traveled got some stuff out of my storage and then after that i started having um some pain in my leg and and it got to the point that um i basically went to the doctor and i knew you know basically i've been to the doctor and I knew, you know, basically I've been to the doctor. They've treated me with, you know, diabetes and high blood pressure. And I knew about it, but I wasn't taking it seriously. This time I'm taking it seriously.

So obviously just had to cut out the booze. I'm out of the hospital. I'm taking a million pills and taking insulin shots and stuff like that and then um obviously i want to have alcohol out of out of the system during that time and also it's good to cleanse like even when i was like actively drinking like you know five times a week or whatever just to take like three days off to give your body you know some some fucking time to recover is good so this is it's more so for my health as whatever so once i get my health back to where it needs to be then and then we can like look at my levels do a drinking stream and see

where we're at there and see if like we can still a healthy blade and a intoxicated i just imagine your liver is like sylvester stallone at the end of a Rocky movie. He's just like, he's barely standing. His face is just all puffed up. He's like, I didn't hear no bell. No, it's more like that handicapped South Park kid. He's like, kill me. Kill me. What was the, because obviously like the images of your feet

and legs have been floating around forever. And that's what kind of scared all of us. We're like shit this is real deal this is that's that's scared that's scared me too dude because that's like uh if i would let that get worse they would have cut my shit off so like that that was definitely a fucking wake up um but it didn't do it it was a wake-up call but that was like four months ago, right? Yeah, I know. Sometimes you wake up and then you roll over and go back to bed. Yeah, it sounds like my day-to-day, to be honest with you. You just hit snooze on that bitch. At the doctor, he basically showed me how to clean it and to disinfect it.

Now there's still a scar, but there's no hole. There's no opening. There's no pus. There's no... No pus's no opening there's no pus there's no and as far as no sounds good to me well i'm just saying there's no um like you can't peel anything you can't get inside of it you know unless you like i guess if you took a scalpel or something so the scars there but the actual um they actually did an mri or CAT scan on it when I was there this last time. And they said that the bacteria that was in there before that was trying to eat away at the bone, that's all gone.

So the toe is good. There was bacteria in there eating at the bone? See, this is, okay, forgive me, but this is news to me. Maybe this was something you've talked about publicly and I just didn't know. There was bacteria eating at the bone. Yeah. Not proud of that. Not saying that that's a normal everyday occurrence.

But it's good content. What did they prescribe for that? Was it mostly grilled chicken and spinach? No. That'd be up late. If you switched to a spinach chicken diet, that would have fixed it, right? Maybe? I mean, it would have fixed it right maybe i mean it

would have helped everything that you can take into your body affects you so like if i'm on some popeye shit yeah i'd probably on some popeye's shit you hear chicken and you jump to popeye's well he said spinach yeah i got the spinach squeeze the can pops out so like obviously your foot was was probably feeling weird and shitty what was like when you were in the throes of drinking constantly like what was your body feeling like like just turmoil every day waking up feeling like god i this is the worst or how bad did it get actually no um i my body got fucking used to it. I'm not a professional sports player,

but professional sports players, when they go out and play the next day, their whole body feels wrecked. Mine kind of felt the same way, but I almost treated it like, well, I have to work. You know what I mean? I kind of put myself in a bad position

where I can't just fire up my stream and go walk a dog or go travel or whatever like they want to see me get annihilated and i realized that um so i felt like there's literally one time when i was in missouri where a roommate bailed on me the other one was broke and so like i needed to pay all the rent like in three days and i was like okay get a big ass bottle let's do this you know like it's it's become not it's still i'm not don't get me wrong i still enjoy drinking it's still fun um it makes you feel good but it's it became a job and i'm sure we all went through that with like video games or it's like we're not playing it really casually we're playing to get some

gameplay footage and then a lot of people like hey do you want to play i'm like i've already got my video dude i'm good i don't want to play right now yeah um because people had like old friends hit me up they're like hey you want to go out drinking i'm like i don't drink for free like i'm not gonna all right i'm not i'm not gonna go out yeah i'm not i'm not gonna fuck and like you only have so many hangovers in your lifetime. I'm not going to waste it, or I'm not going to pay for it. At least that, you know what I mean? They want me to go out and pay for it and do the Ubers and all.

I'm like, no. Tell me if this fits you, Blade. I heard, who's the late night talk show host? He's retired now. Was it an alcoholic? Jay Leno. Nope. He talked about Britney Spears.

David Letterman. A really compelling monologue scottish oh craig kilbourne probably anyway is that his name it's either craig kilbourne or yeah i'm almost he was kind of he was kind of a womanizer he was definitely flirty on the show good looking guy always flirty yeah he was super duper flirty but i thought that was like him being charming and almost a bit i don't know if he was a real life woman anyway well it's it's charming if the girl thinks he's cute if the girl doesn't think he's cute then it's creepy it's really the judge is whoever he's

hitting on yes she may have felt compelled to act like he's cute because she's on his show and doing it yeah there's a power imbalance. Anyway, it was the second one. Who was his name? Craig Ferguson. Craig Kilborn was also a host of a show, but different anyway. Wasn't he the first host of The Daily Show? I don't know.

I just closed the link. I don't know. But he talked about his drinking one time. And he said that some people have a drink and they say, all right, that's enough, or one or two. But when he has a drink, it's a different thing. Like he he doesn't stop.

He just keeps going until he runs out of things to drink. That's his like it's almost a foreign idea for him that you would have two or three and just call it quits. Like, why would you do that? More is more. Yeah. Is that how you think you're wired or are you something different yeah well absolutely i will tell you this right now i have had we've done a bunch of studies and i figured out that that if i had a good meal had good rest basically

like a good a good good start to them um if i drink three quarters of a fifth of Jägermeister, I will be super extra drunk, but I won't go over that egg. And we did that, and I got there, and I'm just like, I came here to die a little bit. I know that sounds bad, but to get there, to get

really, really drunk and just be really drunk, that's not fun. I kind of want to keep going until I'm belligerent and then I'm done. So this idea to get there but not quite fulfill the ride is kind of stupid to me. I get kind of angry, actually. So you want your body to tell you when it's time to stop drinking. Yeah, exactly. And it did.

You missed that little text message a few years ago, my friend. Yeah, my notifications were broke. I don't know. So you were saying before the show that one of the reasons you really got heavily into drinking was because you couldn't smoke anymore. Yes, that's true. Are you allowed to smoke now or is that still ongoing? Oh, yeah, I can smoke all day. Why don't you switch to smoke now or is that still ongoing oh yeah i can smoke all day why don't you switch to being like super doped up because super doped up is not interesting to watch because i'll be super high giggle maybe tell a story and then i'll look up and it's been five

minutes no you need to get yourself have you smoked dabs before dabs is too much, dude. Oh, come on! Oh! Is a dab too much for only you to be playing? Come back. I like smoking weed. You drink a fifth of Jaeger. Alright? And you're like, that's where I want to be. But you're like, an eighth of a gram dab? No, thank you. I'm health conscious.

It's not healthy. It has nothing to do with health. It has to do with health it has to do with just like that seems like that's way too much weed at once it's not it's not even enough weed at once like like dabs are what i what's what's your tolerance at like i don't know right now it's at zero because i'm on codophone and i i get i'm on federal probation for it. But when I was smoking, I could do two grams a day. If I was really going hard, like, like two,

like two grams of like 90, 95%, uh, THC. Uh, you know, I break it. It's so much.

I mean, there's guys, don't get me wrong. There's guys on YouTube who do, who do like a one gram challenge where they do a, an entire gram in one hit. It usually takes them two hits, but they call it one hit.

That seems like a waste of weed to me, dude. That's a waste of weed. Thank you. Yeah, I agree completely. But what I would do is I'd take my gram and I'd break it into like, you know, it's like Laffy Taffy. So you could just break them off and roll them up like a booger and put it on your dab or on your nail and on your dabber

and put it in your nail. And it would probably break a gram into like six to eight hits, something like that. And in space, you know, do six or eight hits. And then I feel like six or eight more before the night's over. See,

maybe if you were on probation and you're near me, then you can show me how to do that. Because every fucking stoner I run into that wants me to do dabs, dude, it's like hitting 20 blunts at once hit this and i'm like no i don't want to hit 20 blunts at once you know no it's not like 20 blunts at once it's um it's like one blunt all at once i'd say that it's like a good fat blunt all at once like like like if you've net especially of no tolerance or if you have like joint tolerance

where you like puff puff pass a little bit occasionally like uh yeah i just face i just face once that's what i yeah like an eighth of a gram if you do that all in one hit you take it and you hold it like for maximum effect you're gonna be blitzed yeah and but i mean you can do smaller and smaller dabs right you don't have to do an eighth of a gram you can do yeah represent the 10 of us that don't understand what is facing a blunt that smoke um so like let's say let's like normally when you roll a blunt you're in like a party situation you hit it a couple times and you pass it to somebody and they pass it around like that that's just like a normal smoking weed blunt but like with me i'll roll up a blunt and just sit there and just smoke just smoke it to my face and not pass it around so that's what facing a blunt is facing a blunt is not sharing it

yeah yeah just it's just all for you okay thank you yeah it's it and it's like bogarting but not rude yeah exactly it's like this is my blunt there must be 20 of our audience that needs funny funny story funny story about that murica i was at a fucking house party with some friends and they had some very questionable ladies there where i knew that they just were in the other room doing shit and so i had weed and so when you open up a bag of weed and it's a swisher everyone becomes your friend sits around you and so i'm fucking i roll up a blunt and i start smoking it and i'm like telling stories and these guys are all freaking the fuck out because i'm not passing it and then finally i get about halfway i'm like you guys can have all that and they're like why would you do that i was like i don't

know where your mouth's been i i just met you there becky like like it's still three wars becky i got a swisher here and i know your mouth's gonna go if you want some yeah just me you know it's all wet yeah i don't like sharing uh especially if people don't know how to share properly if they they'll all over it and get it like super wet they'll hit it they'll hit it we uh they'll drool on it oh do you do like a kind of like gum it yeah it will not gum it that would it's like you know you turn your lip sort of yeah you don't let the wet part of your lip get on the fucking joint or blunt you don't you don't wet an asshole i would i didn't know that i'd be like cigar in it. Oh, God. All the smoke is just drifting away.

It's going down the wrong pipe. You're going to get the wrong kind of attention doing that at a party. Now all of a sudden the crowd's forming around Woody. But they're not sitting down. Not a smoking crowd. Not a smoking crowd. You said you were on Kodafone?

I don't know what that is. That's where they, you know, I call in and see if they call my number to go get tested. That ended today. Today I talked to my, my probation officer. She called me and said, go get tested one more time. And I was in a, and today actually the guy who tests me like, like the P guy was off today. So I go next Tuesday or something like that. That'll be the last time I get tested, like on a regimen or via calling into that number. From now on, she'll just occasionally call me and be like, hey, go get tested today. But it'll be like super random and super like far in between.

Can I tell an awesome probation P test story? Do it. Okay. So I had this probation where I had to go on the first and the fifth, right? And usually I would go there and you go to the computer and it would be like big, big letters, like piss test, piss test. I'm like, okay, I take a piss test. And I started noticing that it would always happen on the 15th. So it would never happen on the first.

It's always on the 15th so i it would never happen on the first it's always in the 15th so i got a little dangerous and was like i miss weed like crazy i would have i would go take a piss and then i would have a crazy weekend of so much weed super high and then i'd shut it off and it would be out of my system by the time the next piss the next one came up it probably would have been out of my system by the time if it if it came 15 days so i kind of used that system to smoke weed every once in a while and every time i went to a probation there was this kid there when i said kid he was a couple years younger than me like 22 23 and um he's in there and he's sweating bullets and shaking i'm like dude what is wrong he's like let's go so we go outside and he's like i do the thing where i i smoke like three you know a weekend

and then don't um because i know i don't have to take a piss test and i i smoked all all this weekend and the machine's saying that i gotta pee pee today. And I was like, that sucks, dude. He's like, how do we figure it out? And I'm like, well, you're going to need some clean piss. And so he's like, oh, shit, okay. And he looks over and there's, because we're outside, he looks over and there's this dude at a bus stop wearing a fucking, like, like, Motley Crue.

Not that guy. Well, he pre-screened him well he pre-screened him he pre-screened he goes hey man hey man i'm in a real bar do you smoke weed he's like i haven't smoked weed since 76 at a rush concert like i don't smoke weed at all haven't in years and he's like perfect listen i need to take a drug test you think you can help he's like i got you brother and so he pulls out out of his fucking little sack um a jack daniels fucking airplane shooter glass thing right like the shit you take on the airplane he goes around the corner somehow pees in this thing without getting it wet, and comes back. Because how do you fit your dick hole in a little shooter glass? You just put your whole penis in.

Yours doesn't fit? Yeah. That's what I do with a Pepsi can. This wasn't this guy's first time pissing into a small Jack Daniels bottle. Well, he had an empty Jack Daniels bottle, so apparently that's his business. I don't know. But he brings it back back and then he goes 20 bucks he's like what and i'm like dude 20 bucks free 20 bucks he's like fine so he takes this

and i'm like all right dude put that like by your nuts and you know that the dude's gonna be in the fucking room with you right and i'm like have you ever failed the piss test he's like no he's like okay you might be okay just be fucking very careful so we go in there he goes in there he comes out all smiling happy hey bye i don't see this dude for like four months right when i do see him this dude walks in and he looks like Tom Hanks from Castaway, dude. Hasn't cut his hair, hasn't cut his beard, just looks like he hasn't slept in two days, just looks like shit. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck happened? All I know is if I ever fucking see that old man, I'm kicking his ass.

I'm like, why? He goes, there's no marijuana in his system dude but he had methamphetamine heron and like named every drug in the book was in this dude's piss besides weed right so they fucking arrested this dude and made him go to drug and alcohol classes so his no no no no i'm just a pothead that faked a piss test or he said so he had to sit in a fucking in like these like six hour meetings with drug addicts when he wasn't a drug addict he just had to fucking be like yeah i love heroin yeah you know what i mean like he said to go along with so he had to do the rest of his jail time. And now he has to do like drug and alcohol classes just because it's fucked up.

Well, because he trusted a guy at a bus station with a Motley Crue shirt on. Right. I was with Kyle right out of, right out of the gate. Not that guy. Not that guy. You want to find some guy. I wouldn't have picked that guy either, but this dude was desperate. Yeah.

Why didn't you piss for him? That seemed the logical conclusion. My shit was dirty. What do you mean? My shit was dirty. You were going to fail too? So you didn't expect a pee test. That's why it was dirty.

My pee test didn't come up. You want to hear another fucked up thing? So my probation was for 18 to 36 months so around 16 months i go um first off it was really weird how long ago was this this is early 2000s okay long time ago and um my probation officer was this big buck, looked like Duke Nukem dude, right? Like, I wouldn't want to fuck with him,

but his name was Kim, and I'm like, how are you going to be a big fucking Duke Nukem looking dude whose name is Kim, but I'm not going to question you. I'm like, Kim, listen, haven't missed a payment, haven't fucking violated, come to everything. can i get off at 18 months he's like yeah it's not a problem like your model fucking you know whatever it's called um yeah when it comes up i'll put in the paperwork you you'll be off probation in 18 months right 17 and a half months comes up and i'm at the thing i'm like hey dude so next next time i visit you're gonna have that paperwork in i'm gonna be free right he's like a little bit of a problem

i'm like what they go well we let this guy off probation early and then he went on a drug binge and killed a cop so now they're saying now they're saying that if we would have never let him off probation early, he would have been fine because he was fine on probation. So now everyone does their full max. So I had to do another 18 months of fucking coming in and checking in. Yeah, I've got 24 months. And in like, I don't know what it is, six months or something like that that uh i'll be halfway and at 50 i can ask the court to like consider my situation and you know with my fines i just paid them all like one lump sum like that is the the moment i could they were all like they were

a lot they're all like so uh you just want to send your payments in every month and i'm like no i just wrote a check and they're like all of it i'm like like yeah how i don't i just wrote the check like what are you talking about it wasn't a million dollars i don't like seeing the notification saying that i fucking paid for another month of netflix so if there was a fee i could pay for like lifetime netflix i'd do so i will yeah they should do that they should like the nra right two grand just pay it all up front. Or they could fuck it up. Like what were the airlines who were like, hey, five grand all-time tickets in like the mid-80s and then people take advantage of that. It was like 500 grand that way.

500 grand or something. And they're still making money on it. But yeah, I paid all my fines like up front. I've never missed a piss test, of course. I've never tested positive for anything. Like I went to all my fucking counseling, all my goddamn meetings. I've been straight with my officers. I've driven around.

They've all met me. I've had three now. I'm hoping that when I ask after 50% of my probation is through, they'll let me go. If you got all your ducks in a row, they'll look at you as that guy that just got in trouble and is not a fucking criminal.

That's the way they look at it. Well, that's exactly what I am. You know, like I wasn't selling dope. I was smoking dope. Yeah, exactly. I just like Taco Bell a whole lot, man. You don't understand. That's all this is about.

Blade, have you ever served time? Yeah. What for? is about. Blade, have you ever served time? Yeah. What for? I was at a little get-together,

and the people that I went with didn't tell me, but they decided to fucking rob the house because they were drug dealers, and they had like a pound of weed and a bunch of cash. And so, fight broke out. Motherfuckers pulled guns out,

and I was like, I guess we gotta fucking go so we fucking got my car left and a couple days later the fucking SWAT team came to my house and arrested me arrested everyone i was with so what did they get you for was it dwi or something else no it's it's it's called accomplished liability so in the state of washington like let's say what do you let's say you and i rob at a bank right okay and then and then uh you decide to shoot a bank teller right uh not only will you get murdered because i'm your accomplice i get murdered even if i had no knowledge you so like me being with them and just just taking them home and and like like they treated me like i was, like, the getaway driver.

Right. And so I got the same charges as everyone else. So my charges that I finally plead to were robbery in the first, burglary in the first, but mounted into one charge, so it's only one strike, and they gave me 41 months. Wait, how much did you serve 41 41 oh wow that's more than i expected how much did you have to serve 27 damn 27 months what kind of facility were you at at first it was jail for the first nine months. And then after that, I got sent to where they do the selection process of where you're supposed to go.

It was really fucked up because they go by points to see what custody level you're at. And I lost points because of my age, lost points because of the violent crime. And because I had two violent crimes, they treated the burglary as of the violent crime and because i had two violent crimes they treated the the burglary as as a previous fine those three things put me in maximum security is and so is maximum security the word it sounds the worst but on tv they make it sound like you're more isolated from the other people and it's even safer um maximum security basically means the least amount of movement that's the best way to describe where a minimum it's literally like a farm where people just walk around and everything's it really that's exactly what it is and that's

where i went it's like a big farm and like and, they'll have a fence that a dog could jump over. And you think like, oh, wow. But the thing is, everyone that's in there is under five years and a minimum threat. And so if someone were to escape, they're an idiot because they're getting another five years. You had state charges, right? Yeah, state charges. Yeah, my charges were federal so i had to go to this federal um low security in alabama which was yeah kind of what you're describing it was it was pretty that wasn't that bad that was the minimum did you go um oh go ahead please continue okay so

i get sent to um i get sent to monroe to Monroe, and it was super duper nice. They actually filmed the butterfly effect there. I don't know if you guys remember that movie, but when they were filming the prison scenes, they actually filmed it in the prison with us inmates. Anyways, I got into some trouble when I was in monroe because i would i learned how to play pinochle and i love pinochle and i was running store which basically means if you are out of like ramen or hygiene or whatever you can come to me and i might i might give you like two ramens and then you give me three back on store so I was just stacking hell of food and hygiene and stuff that I never bought.

So when they searched the spell, they're like, your book says that you've never bought anything yet. You have like, you have like a hundred dollars worth of fucking food here, dude. Like what's the, and then they found,

then they found a notebook that had all the bets of all the fucking people. Cause I used to keep, I used to keep tabs of who owes who on the p and so they thought i was running like a fucking gambling racketeering thing you were in they only thought that because of the gaming rack so they knew what i was doing at that point shut up yeah you got it so then they they sent me over to walla walla and now walla walla is like super hardcore four-man cells uh majority people are in there for murder lifers like

they and it's very very racist you can't be in a cell with like a i could be in a cell with a black dude and the way they do it is they go okay we have northanios we got italians we got fucking in muslims black dudes and they alternate them through the cells so that no no two like groups can be like next to each other because they're afraid we're going to convene and mob up or something. Concentration of power. Exactly. So I talked to the lady, the consultation lady or whatever. She's like, all right, look at your file. If you behave yourself for six months, I'll send you wherever you want to go.

Do you want to go to McNeil Island? I'm like, yeah. How about Vegas? And so they go, you can go to any medium security place that you want to go and i'm like all right i want to go back to monroe because monroe had the maximum medium and minimum and the lady looked at me crazy and i'm why she like, are you sure you want to go to Monroe? And I'm like, yeah. It looks fucking amazing. There's grass. There's recording studios in the fucking gyms.

It's like the nicest place. It's considered the nicest prison in the state of Washington. And she's like, all right, I guess. I'm like, why is she acting all weird? So then I go back to the cell. I'm like, why is she acting all weird? So then I go back to the cell, and all my fucking cellmates were like, fucking like, one of them was this 6'5", 380 bodybuilder dude,

and with a fucking tattoo that said 13 1⁄2 on his neck, which means he had like 12 jurors, one judge, and half a chance. I didn't hear those words. 12 jurors, one judge, and half a... Chance like um i didn't hear those words 12 jurors one judge and half a chance okay okay and so um i get back from the cell and i'm like all happy and so i'm like going to twin river and then they said what and i'm like no man that was scary what is the fucking problem with twin rivers dude and they're, let me see your paperwork again. So I fucking pull up my paperwork. They read it. They're like, why the fuck would you want to go to Twin Rivers?

I'm like, it's near my family. They can visit. And it's like the nicest. And they're like, do you know what Twin Rivers is? I'm like, no. They go, it's the sex offender treatment program. And I'm like, what? And they go, yeah, it's 80 percent sex offender and they have to have 20

percent regular inmates to keep state and i'm like are you fucking serious because normally sex offenders don't walk around like we find out you're a sex offender dude you've got to be gone on by you know what i mean they don't they don't play around with sex offenders. Can you say those words again? You got to be what? Gone. You got to be gone. You need to be not here anymore. PC up. Get the fuck out of here. We don't want to share meals with people that are like kid fuckers. You know what I mean?

They don't like sex offenders in jails. So I'm just like, okay, well, let's see what happens. Dude, I get there. it's an amazing but like it's literally like that movie they live he has the glasses and he sees everyone is like you know because like yeah everyone there was a fucking weirdo and there was like you had to like find like a couple cool dudes that weren't sex effect just to fucking group up and be like oh i got your back i got your back okay cool dude these guys are weird so how long were you in the sex offender paradise uh i was there for seven months oh no that's so long to spend there oh listen to this dude so monroe's on a hill right

and for whatever reason they decided to put the maximum, minimum, maximum, medium, and minimum on the hill. And then they decided to put the high school, middle school, elementary school on the same fucking hill. And so from the bleachers, these sex offenders would be at yard watching kids play at recess and i'm just like someone needs to know about this like what the fuck and so i asked my buddy asked my buddy i'm like do you know about this he's like yeah of course everyone knows about like why doesn't anybody like call the news they're like we've tried they don't report like no one says shit and i'm like you're telling me what was no i the sex offender paradise look if you could just overlook the whole sex offender thing

seems like the best prisoner jail i've heard about so far right it's amazing it's amazing right all the people are like they might be violent in a way, but not towards me, right? It seems like I would be safe there. I would be not bothered there. You'd fit right in. I know what you're saying, right? I'm a bit of a pedophile.

He's like that Steve Buscemi meme with the skateboard. Hello, fellow rapist i just feel like if you can overlook what dreadful people they are then uh yeah it's a safe i wasn't i was apparently good news as as far as like prison violence goes uh it only happens if motherfuckers want it to happen. Okay. Like, it's not like people are like, Oh,

you bumped my shoulder. Let's throw down. You know what I mean? Um, so like all this shit in movies where they think shit's just popping off left and right. It's not, it's like, I literally went to the worst,

the worst place. And that's where everyone, I actually liked that better. Okay. Let's say, let's say your buddy, uh, that lives downtown owes you 20 bucks right all he has to do is just avoid running into in there we're not we can't avoid

each other so everyone has to keep their fucking work so everyone's fucking honest it's amazing like most stand-up people ever dude i actually like those people better than like people out here who think they can get away with yeah i met some really decent good people when i was in prison like like legitimately like now there were some scary motherfuckers but like even snow like despite the fact that snow had murdered people and trafficked huge amounts of methamphetamine and was in a Mexican drug gang. Like he was like, he was a standup guy.

Like, like he, his word meant something like you would not catch snow telling you a lie. He'll murder, but he won't fucking lie. And he won't fucking steal. Like he won't do anything. He won't do it.

It's a billion. You know what I mean? Like he'll, if he does do something, it's like in the game, you know? Yeah. That's, that's how a lot of them saw that and and uh so that was interesting the the worst part about your experience to me is the nine months in jail though that had to be shit right that okay at first i felt like when i got out right i honestly used to tell people i was like the

nine months in jail stressing about my fucking case was worse than the rest of the time where i'm pretty much on vacation yeah okay uh when you do time it doesn't really because you don't have a job they feed you you're never gonna go cold you it's a vacation in a way you just can't leave the premise the people that are affected are your family that miss you for whatever reason you know um what the fuck was this about uh how bad jail was in comparison oh jail was horrible dude jail jail sucked like i feel like jail's meant for like a week not for nine months. Yeah, exactly. You could get bond.

Everyone, oh my, dude. All right, this is the list that my original filing charges. Robbery in the first with a firearm, burglary in the first with a firearm, kidnapping in the first with a firearm, assault in the first with a firearm, and then like firearm possession where'd the kidnapping come from because he wouldn't let them leave the premises

yeah one of the people basically said don't don't move you know what i mean or like that's how they got oj here and yeah that's um okay now about meeting interesting people in there i met the most interesting person ever his name was steve drexler okay now when i i'm at the sex offender paradise place you had your own cell which was amazing and but you also had a bunk bed i usually just kept stuff up there like you know just stuff up there but every once in a while they'll transport somebody that will stay there overnight and then get released in the morning you know like they might be over all the way in eastern washington but need to be released in western washington so they'll bring them over have them stay one night above my bunk and leave so i'm sitting

there and i'm talking to him and um and uh at first he didn't really want to talk to me. And I was like, I'm offering him cigarettes. I'm offering him fucking food. And he was all standing up. And then I realized, I was like, hey, dude, I'm not a sex offender, bro. I'm in here for fucking home invasion robbery. And then I showed him my paperwork. He was like, oh, okay, cool.

I just thought everyone here was a fucking rapist. I'm like, no, we're not. And so. Common misconception. on my paperwork he's like oh okay cool i just thought everyone here is a fucking rapist i'm like no we're not and so common misconception when you're in a cell with a dude with nothing else you're gonna have fucking conversation shooting back and forth so finally i ended up telling him what i was in there for the whole story and so finally i asked him i was like so man what's what's your story dude like what what what what brought you here what brought you to and at first he wouldn't do it i kept on egging him on and he finally told me and it's probably my favorite story of all time all right so this dude ran the boeing im okay, in downtown Seattle. Now, this is an actual stadium IMAX theater.

This isn't some AMC shit, okay? This is like a stadium. Massive, huge IMAX, right? Well, this dude also had a little bit of a meth problem. And so he would work during the day smoke all night and then come to work and work during the day and do this a week and a half and then finally crash well this dude figured out he stole a laptop and was able to plug it into the projector and watch whatever he wanted to watch on the IMAX thing. So this dude decided to start watching porn.

I knew it. Started watching porn on the IMAX. I don't know how amazing that must be because I'm a big fan of porn. And porn on a phone versus porn on a 65 is mind-blowing.

So if I can watch some porn on a fucking IMA. If I can watch some porn on a fucking IMAX screen, I'm down. This dude literally draped the longest cable ever from the projector room all the way down to the middle rows so he could plug his laptop

in and fucking pull up porn on the IMAX. Sounds amazing, right? this dude would smoke meth watch porn and jerk off off and then like smoke meth and get some more linens pencil and keep going right well and he's smoking meth and so he's beating off for hours at a time for hours right So then this dude decides that he would go get double the money and find a prostitute. He'd be like, listen,

I'm not going to pay you, but I got free meth. And they're like, okay. So they would bring these prostitutes. He would bring prostitutes into the IMAX after hours

would fire up a porn without telling the girl. She'd be like, whoa! Phew! And they would smoke meth and fuck and watch porn. And he had this fucking ritual where he was just doing this. And during the day, he was fucking

Clark Kent. Like, very presentable. Here during the day, he was fucking Clark Kent. Like, very presentable. Here's your ticket, ma'am. Like, everything. But at night, he was the monster. Well, he basically... Cool guy of the week so far. He'd been going too hard for too long,

brought this prostitute over they smoked they fucked and this dude passed the fuck out and was not waking up so the girl's like hey wake up wake up wake up and he's he's done for like his bender is over right and so she tries to leave and the fucking alarm system goes so now the police come come into the fucking theater and there's like a fucking gangbang fucking theater at full fucking tdhx sound quality and this prostitute with this guy with a fucking with a meth pipe or whatever and uh cord going from the laptop all the way up to the projection room red i would love red literally red-handed pants around his fucking knees laying reclining in a chair and i'm like i would have loved to be the cop to fucking come to that scene that

would have been amazing so he got fucking arrested he basically he had some priors so he got some weird charge that they gave him a year and a day the only reason why they give you a year and a day is so you don't spend the rest of your time in jail if they have to send you to prison so he only had to spend he had his case and then he only had to spend like maybe four did his time he was getting out the next day and i was yeah your story beats mine dude that that is um you're my hero like that is awesome that is fucking outrageous it's an awesome story yeah i mean i feel like you know how long i've been here to bust you i've been like you know what this guy's had a tough enough night here's the thing dude back in the day when i used to come on your guys's show i used to do commentaries i never

told anybody about me being in like because i thought it would be like a bad look you know what i mean like i just didn't i never wanted to bring it up you know but now that it's been like 10 years of me in the game and you know if you google only some blade it doesn't look good i just said fuck it i'll share you know what i mean it's along those i've got a question so maybe 10 years ago you made a video and you told a story in it the story goes a little like this hey i was in a bar i met this guy this guy would go and he'd come back and he'd have all this money i was like dude how do you do this what what's your secret how how you doing so well you seem to have a lot of free time and you also seem to and you'd have all this money. I was like, dude, how do you do this? What's your secret? How are you doing so well?

You seem to have a lot of free time and you also seem to have a lot of money. And the guy said, well, I work on an oil rig. I go to this oil rig and I put in work and then I come back and I'm on a month's vacation. So I'm going to give that a go. I'm going to try being an oil man. And you were gone for some while,

unable to produce some content. And then you came back and you hit the ground running again. So tell me, Blade, how was the oil rig? Two things. The guy was serious and I was serious. And I was ready to do it. Turns out the dude was a druggie that was just full of so the night that i was all packed up and laid with them he basically got super drunk and then he's like

let's do it tomorrow and i realized shit so then i came back and be like okay back back to normal but when you started telling that story about how this guy went to the bar and like came back and always come back with me uh it reminded me of this story about this one dude who had a charge back in like 1980 but he would always violate and have to do like a month and i i asked him about i'm like why are you always doing a month for some shit that happened like near in the 80s. And he's like, oh, I just keezed through heroin, come into the system, I hand off, they give me like 20 Gs,

and then I live off that for the rest of the year. So I just take like a one month vacation in jail. And I'm like, I guess. You know what I mean? I guess that's a weird way to go about it. In the federal system, they have this giant,

like MRI. They make you stand in. It's like a standing full body scan. Yeah. They'll, they, I looked at my scan. I can see my cock and balls.

I can see like my belly button. I can see it's me, but it's me naked and black and white. Essentially. I can see like my belly button i can see it's me but it's me naked and black and white essentially i can see my brain you see anything like how like impacted your colon was at the time um yeah yeah i could see i could i wasn't impacted or anything but i could see like my i could make out my digestive system yeah there's some shit in there like it was incredibly when you're able to look at the screen when they're doing those really fancy guys and they did it on my leg

so obviously I could see my dick and balls and everything. And the nurse that brought me from my room to the MRI thing was hot as fuck. Super hot. So I got a little bit of chub on the way there.

So I'm sitting there and the doctor's talking to me and I'm like, let me try something. And I do like a little you know what a dick thrust is? Where you kind of throw some blood at it. And I kept on doing it on the screen to see if my dick would show up on the screen and it did. And so I'm

like a school kid watching this and the doctor's like are you listening to me? I'm like, sure doctor. One'm telling this guy he's losing the leg and he's laughing his ass off never seen anything like it well that's your child for someone where they're like you know mrs stevenson you've only broke your arm. It'll be fine in seven weeks. We'd like you to speak to a patient in room 13B. He may lose his foot.

And look at him, playing with his cock, laughing like a child. Be more like this gentleman who insists we call him Blade. Hey, I'm sorry, dude. But, like, I like laughing, dude. Like, honestly, but I like laughing, dude. Honestly, laughing is like a joy orgasm. I love laughing, and there are certain times I shouldn't laugh, but it's involuntary, and I do like this little, like that kind of move. One of the best examples of that is, do you guys remember Billionaire Challenge? Yes.

So Billionaire's Challenge happened. Success. That's actually the first time I met Woody and Wings. And I met White Boy, X-Tras, and Keaton. That was the first time I physically met them. So it was a cool event. We'd go back, and they're like, we're going to do number two. But this way, we're going to do a draft where all you guys are going to pick players,

and they're going to be teams. I'm like, that sounds cool. So we do this little announcement stream on Alki David's thing, right? So the whole community is watching. Out of nowhere, Alki, oh, by the way, on April 7th, we're going to have this Ukrainian man commit euthanasia live on stream. And everyone's like, what? And then I go, and there's this long pause.

And what breaks the pause is me going, what? I remember where I was when that happened. They were like, so apparently you're going to stream a suicide later in the month. And I was like, oh. But the way he brought it up, he brought it up like a UFC announcement. So he'd be like, oh, by the way, on the 7th, this is going to happen. And he didn't.

He gave us no warning. Nothing. We had no idea that was. I was on that too. I was one of the guys doing drafts. I had a team. I think I was on that too. I was one of the guys doing drafts. I had a team. I think Jericho was there too. Sure.

No one knew that was coming. We had no idea. No one. No one. In the same stream that he announced the live stream of this guy committing suicide, basically, he also had dildos out there, some sort of fetished, feathered angel wings he might have worn.

And all of us are fucking content creators. They're making videos for people to play Call of Duty. So they're probably like 12. And we're like, why would I put that on my shit? That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. We're all trying to be at least like some level of kid friendly. Look, I pushed the envelope.

I'm not denying it. But i'd kill you on stream but but back then you kind of wanted to be on your p's and q's because a spot you know a sponsor if they saw this they'd be like you're done no give the headset back like the fact that the entire want to kill themselves on the stream the fact that the entire community rebelled and hated everything about it instantly it was crazy instantly yeah instantly i didn't go at the time chatting with you guys on skype and everyone was like dude this alky guy's a fucking maniac he's just coming up what made it even better right it was it was a call it was me keem and alky and keem's like dude you've got to fix this like you need to make a video saying it was a joke or whatever you need to make a pure video basically apologizing in order to and alky wasn't trying to do it but me and alky like no for real community you need

to make that video dude so he's like fine i'll make the video uh an hour later i get a notification i'll be upload the video like start watching it he's like petting his cat very calm and he has like this fuck this for some reason some toilet paper and he's like I just want to say to these gamers, Wings of Redemption, White Boy like all these people fuck you I do what I want to do

and this is what we're going to do, fuck you peasants I'm like that's not the way we're trying to go with this, like what the fuck that's not our you're a bullet trying to shot bro this. What the fuck, dude? That's not our story. You're a bullet China shop, bro. Like, Jesus. And then he goes and sits on his golden toilet and wipes his ass with the toilet paper.

I'm like, no. You were doing so good, dude. I know. Can I tell the Mercadurka story, dude? Mercadurka. Can I tell the Mercadurka story in boston type it it's it's not it's not it's not bad okay so murka durka murka durka never met me we uh it was a we were all going to be going to b for PAX. A couple nights before

that, Woody gets me in a Zombies game. It's where Zombies is black and white at first, and then you go outside and... I don't forget which... The Power Run or whatever. It's one of the first

Zombies maps for Black Ops 1. Right? America Durka starts asking me about weed and i was like what do you want it's like well i've i've wanted to try weed but i've never done it and i think it'd be really cool if i like smoked weed with you for the first time and i was like okay dude sure like didn't think anything of it right right? So they had this fucking, you guys had this big ass, and I remember, Bastion was there? A giant hotel. It's the one you and I visited, Woody.

And we were like, doesn't smell too good. We're going to go. We're going to peace out. And so it was a bunch of people. And it was definitely, merker was there and um i was there of course onslaught bash and jericho right cheers maybe too huh cheers i think i think chis was the dude that it was his room i think it was his room so yeah so they're like chis's room okay yeah he was basically his room but there was like a good eight nine ten people in there right and so we i forget where we smoked but it was like by a window trying to smoke if i go out i'd roll the blunt and i got murka durka high for the first time ever, right? So he's just like kind of standing, and he's talking really fast,

and then he stops talking for five minutes, and he just looked uncomfortable. He just looked uncomfortable. And I'm like, dude, that's just the Wii. You're new to it. Relax. Maybe go sit down or go somewhere. So this dude starts walking hella slowly, and for some reason he

was hugging the wall like he didn't want to like go into the center or he was just hugging the wall and i saw it happening and i felt bad but i was also stoned i'm like i kind of want to see how this plays out and fucking bashful and jericho are fucking like play wrestling, like in the path of where Mercadurka is going. Right. And so Mercadurka gets there and they stop and they immediately start like tickling him and fucking with him. And he freaked the fuck. So he kept hugging. He escaped, hugged the wall and grabbed the first door he could,

which was a closet. So he fucking opened the closet, ran in, and slammed it. And you could hear the knob. I think he was trying to lock the closet from the inside, but he was not going to see the outside world for shit. And I just thought that shit was the funniest ever dude i remember i remember going in there because on my mind was like if these guys keep tickling me i'm gonna die yeah yeah exactly and like there was a little bit of like relief getting into the closet being like okay like in my head being like all right you thought this was the door to leave

it's not right now but no one can get to you in the closet i want to know what the mentality was of you hugging you hugging the wall you were like a fucking roller skater that can't skate so you're just trying to edge over i don't know i was 18 yeah. Yeah, he's young. I feel a statue of limitation from that lifted, so there you go. It's fine. I'm sure it's all good. But yeah, that was... God damn it. I remember how

panicked I was getting tickled. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Being tickled anytime is the worst. Really? I'm not ticklish. I've had girls be like hoo hoo hoo and I'll be like what are you doing you're not ticklish

you know a really funny moment I had after that I go I'm talking to Bash I'm like Bash how you been he's like man I've been good and I'm like any new video ideas he was like yeah man my how to drop I've been good. And I'm like, any new video ideas? He was like, yeah, man. My how to drop shot video really took off. And I'm just like,

okay. I thought that was a funny video. If you guys don't know, Call of Duty, you can drop shot, which basically you drop so you become a smaller target and you shoot people. It's really effective. And so as a joke, Bashel made an entire video on how to do

and everyone all the commentators thought was the funniest thing and so then he goes yeah i'm thinking about making a video about how to get back up from those things making content he was he made good shit i like that guy. I think he started with... Oh, oh, oh. He actually is a legend because he worked at Twitch, right? And

my second ban on Twitch, I should have never been unbanned. That should have been the final. Okay? I admit it. There's photographic evidence, but there's a shot of me on twitch my pants down my finger up my ass oh i've seen it several times no everyone's seen it don't judge me photoshop though there's no denying it that's that's what happened and i remember my buddy folks was super mad because i had a g fuel sponsorship and it's a g fuel in the corner and he's like how come

i can't get a sponsorship anyways um so i was like oh wait back um bash had hit me up on twitter saying that he worked like i'm like where you been he said i work with um i work at twitch now i'm like cool something oh let me hit up so i'm like hey bash uh a little problem i got to go to the bathroom and my pants were a little low and so you can see my butt crack and they banned me for it complete lie that's not at all what happened but that's the way i work or hoping that hopefully that he wouldn't fucking look into it he's like i don't know dude they're really stringent on nudity it's like can you look into it he's like fine And then he hits me back up he's like yeah You got this is your second

Warning and you got two weeks Suspension and then Then what he's like then you can stream Again you have your Partnership bro when I went live After that people are Like what the fuck is going on They're like

Dude I played a fucking movie on my stream. I got banned. This dude stuck a finger in his ass on stream. He's back to being partnered. Like, what's going on? So, Bash, you're a legend. Sorry for deceiving you, dude. I'm sure you'll find gainful employment in some other sector.

So, Woody. Yes. Woody, I've been a pk fan forever don't you normally say let's talk about this let's talk about are we gonna get to that oftentimes was this the longest intro ever into that or no no you were telling great stories about prison and stuff i was so excited no this is yeah no you've been killed you've been killing it for literally a fucking hour um we were i'm happy to to keep this train going i mean i mean we can talk about you know how about this how about this

i'll interrupt you if i got a good one but here's what i want all right all right well look there's a lot of stuff we could talk about i go ahead buddy i i saw a video if you have any if you have any questions here i saw a video of your girlfriend she seems lovely how did you guys meet um so we've been doing these rv trips right so uh uh basically this guy named casey i'm not gonna get into him but he's an awesome dude, lives in Southern California. He's really willing to throw money at events and just cool stuff

and have his streamers get together and do amazing stuff. When he streams, he does ETS. He literally does it for the fun of it. This dude bought us an RV and it was me and Bjornorn i don't know if you guys know guys we know bjorn i i love bjorn man that's my everybody does yeah and i when

people talk about like hey what do you think about this concept to me he's like fuck that half of like i love but when it comes to blade and bjorn sorry for talking third person they're like yeah do that like you guys we have fucking it sounds gay but we have fucking chemistry like we get along it does anyways so me bjorn um and then this guy named captain content who's part of this and then we're going to pick up other people along content who's part of this and then we're gonna pick up other people along so um we we go up through san francisco and um while we were there this uh becky uh was a viewer and she's like a discord user in like i think captive contents thing you know and and mando now mando is this homeless guy who's like proud to be homeless. And he, he goes on his Instagrams like, Hey, we can't really maneuver the RV around.

But he can pick me up and like, take me to like some clothing. Well, Rebecca was like, okay. She came, picked him up and then like took him to a couple stores and i brought him back and as she came back she had like little gifts for us uh got got some fucking drinking glasses for beyond got a fucking captain hat for captain content and then got me four packs of new smoking's bad she knows her audience yeah no smoking's bad now it's not because i can't buy some new ports it's because i can't buy new ports they don't sell menthols in san francisco i was going and so she brought four packs to me as a gift and i was like oh thank you so i'm and when i met her keeping up completely there's a lot of characters in this story but your girlfriend brought you cigarettes she wasn't my girlfriend this is how she this is how she became my girlfriend okay so this so then

after that we go up to sacramento and we meet up with these dudes that are fans. One of the guys is an ex-prisoner that literally got so drunk that he lost his fucking denture. The dude's a wild, crazy guy. We had a great stream. Then we go up north, through Seattle, all this other stuff. Then we end up coming back down. Well, as we were coming back down, down captain content who's a streamer was like like i don't want to go to those guys's house those guys are going to kick my ass

and we're like okay well we're going there so figure it out so this dude puts out like all points bulletin and the the girl the rebecca my now girlfriend it's like, hey, I can come pick you up. You know? And so she picked him up. They went and did some streaming for like two days, but she was really trying to meet the whole RV. She wanted to take the RV to Dave. Well,

Captain was super protective of her and made it sound like they were together. And she's like, no, I literally helped you out and gave you a ride dude like stop talking like you're my like we're a couple like knock it off super uncomfortable on stream he was just being weird and then he didn't want to bring her around because he was worried that I was going to take her from him. But she was like, I'm not yours anyways

and I have a say in the matter, so you're actually fucking me. So she meets up with us and says, hey, tonight, let's go meet the Dave and Buster's, this and that, right? And I didn't get the address from her, or I didn't get the exact location

because there's a couple different ones. As they're leaving, I'm like, hey, Captain, call me when you guys are there. Just send the directions now. He's like, okay, sure. This dude turns off his phone. They drive

the hour over to where the Dave & Buster's is at. They're at the Dave & Buster's and she's wondering why we stood them up. Captain Cockblock. Captain Cockblock, right? So the whole time we're blowing up his phone, but it's going to start to voicemail. And I actually go on his Discord and he's talking to Discord. And I'm like, dude, pick up your phone.

And then he leaves the Discord. And I'm like dude pick up your phone and then he leaves the discord and i'm like what so me me and fucking um the driver uh shooter end up in the hotel room i do a drunk strike so during that during the stream we end up doing my phone numbers okay i have numbers leaked did you say my my phone number is leaked. Okay. At one point, I went to Verizon, and they told me that I had over 8,000 non-contact calls made in less than a month. Like, my number's leaked. People spamming the chat.

It's been leaked for years. I don't want to change my number because, you know, I don't want to hear terrorists win so i i feel like i want to hold on or there's maybe this weird person out there that i want to get a hold of someday that doesn't have and i want them to be able to call me have you had the same number for 10 years yes i have your number all right carry on okay um so uh so basically the stream was like saying fuck this hotel stream do call in and i'm like call in suck because it's literally people calling in saying the n word people calling in saying that oh you're a rapist and people you know just talking shit and then a couple times people want to call in and just have a conversation for the most part it's pretty

fucking AIDS so I'm doing the stream and they're like yeah dude why are you a captain I can't get a hold of the captain and all this other stuff and so then finally I end the stream and I start getting these text messages

and it's from Becky. And so I'm like, hey, Becky, can I call you? I'm like, yeah, go ahead. So she fucking called me, and she was like, hey, listen, I know you guys didn't ditch because I was saying watch your stream. Captain just turned off his phone and didn't want you guys to hang out. And I was like, well, we wanted to hang out with you. I still want to hang out with you. She didn't want you guys to hang out with and i was like oh well we

wanted to hang out with you i still want to hang out with you like she don't want us to hang out like let's party let's have a good time it would be a good end to the fucking and so she's like okay well let's meet at the dave and busters tomorrow and i'm like it's captain with you she's like no i was pissed kicked him out of the car and he has some fucking hotel i was like cool so the next day it was kind of biblical stream but it was a stream with me and shooter and becky and a couple of her girlfriends first at david busters and then at david busters we went to a hotel so the whole internet thinks that i like cut captain. Like I took his captain cooked. Yeah. I kept it cooked.

And I went along with it cause I was getting really pissed, dude. Of course he had done a lot. You're the bull in this story. Yeah. He, he, he was a dick.

The whole stream. He made fuck everyone quit. Um, he may be your fucking go back tomark because that's epically dickish epically dick and so um i played i played along with it i was like okay yeah yeah yeah cooked this girl anyway so we go back down to that was the end of the that was the end of the trip right the trip had been going on for a month and a half shooter needed to get back home so we go back down to where we parked the rv and i decided to take like a three-day fucking relaxation day so i know it sounds really ridiculous but i fucking kicked in the rv for

three i watched the office i enjoyed myself and then i, and I was like, okay, I hit, I hit her up and I was like, what are you doing? She's like nothing. You know, I'm like, I work, but I was like, I was wondering if I, if I were to drive up there, could I like, could we like, you know, hang out and see where this is going? Cause we really super strong. going because we really super strong like really hit it off like amazing and um he was like i just gotta let you know i got kids i was like i i would think you're crazy for being i think you'd be crazy for being a 40 year old woman that doesn't have kids that makes she's like as long as you know about that cool so i drove up to sacramento came in uh we hit it off like crazy and now we're exclusively together and i will live with them oh very nice hello you know my favorite now you you mentioned um a couple did you that didn't come through. Say it again. A couple months.

A couple months. A couple months. Okay. My favorite, you mentioned that people would call in and say the N-word, but they would also call you a rapist. Now, I don't have to ask why they would call you a rapist, unfortunately, because one of my favorite clips of you on

the party RV is when you look at that, I can't think of that pretty blonde girl's name, but you like you're blitzed so i i i feel like we should forgive you and everyone should for saying this but you just look at her with these super drunk eyes and kind of lean in you're sitting real close and you go you ever been raped i know and she goes, no. And you go, lean in a little closer. You should be. I know. I know. I love that quote.

I love that. I want that to be my ringtone. We can get that done for you. That was on my list, actually. So there's that. And then there's the story of the girl in the RV. There's like kind of sort of footage of it. You can maybe see your feet on camera.

Every time I've been in drama, I wish that people knew the whole story, right? Sometimes it's just 100% untrue. Sometimes I'm like 2 out of 10 bad, and it's been recasted as I'm 10 out of 10 bad. What do you wish people knew? I mean, here's the thing they're gonna believe what they're gonna believe all i did was i was exhausted i went back there and i slept in the bed next to this girl that's it i didn't fucking touch her i didn't fucking rape her i didn't do none of that shit i was a little snuggly no no that was my back to her back okay that's all that was um i literally uh after the mushrooms

and then um bone claims mushrooms it's not all your words are coming through to me yeah i said after the trip i'm sorry i'm sorry um basically a couple days late like i talked to her the next day she's like what happened i was nothing. They were making a big deal saying that I touched you. Do your genitals feel fine? I was there. She was like, yeah, I don't feel like

I got fucked or anything. I don't feel like he did. I didn't do it. We've You guys aren't getting into, right? His words. He breaks up a little bit, but I'm catching it all. You guys aren't getting him too, right? His words that are coming through. I'm able to make out.

He breaks up a little bit, but I'm catching it all. I wonder what caused it. Let me see something. Don't do that. Don't do that. That sounds like popcorn. Yeah, it makes a loud snapping sound. So you're not getting that much? Because a lot of the stuff, I'm sure it's on your end, Woody,

or Blade's end coming through to you maybe because you're the getting that much because a lot of the stuff I'm sure it's on your end Woody or Blade's end coming through to you maybe because you're the host or something I'm hearing most of Blade I'm getting 95% of everything again I apologize for not having a computer desktop set up to do it right I apologize about that guys

so there was a mushroom trip you were coming off of it and you were cold and tired and you climbed in the bed and back to back I'm's a mushroom trip you were coming off of it and you were cold and tired and you climbed in the bed and back no no no no i'm sorry the mushroom trip is completely set um a couple days later after this alleged incident we all decided to do mushrooms in denver at a stream sniper's house and everyone got way too high and bone clings started believing shit and then the girl basically said i don't know if i was touched or not but like let's go to the police

so oh no they left me they left me there and then they went to the and apparently they took statements and stuff like this, and said she didn't know what happened, refused to rape him, and was kind of standoffish. She's like, I don't know what happened. So they're kind of like, well, we don't really have anything to work with here, but okay, we'll take your statement. And so all this shit's going down. I'm like, fuck this. I know if I were to get arrested, i'm just going to be like void here i have nothing to say you know i'm not going to offer up anything

whatever but i was completely innocent in this thing they have no evidence on no dna no nothing and so i called them up and i was like can i I come and talk to you guys? So I went in there and talked to an officer and a detective, gave, told them every single thing I had and even showed them clips of her saying that she felt like nothing happened. And so I was able to go to the police and explain my story and no charges ever got nothing ever came of it if i was a rapist and i supposedly i did this online i'd be in jail right now simple as that like yeah yeah i never thought that you had actually done anything it looked like you got in bed with that girl and passed out that's what i always thought uh i think people always want to assume the worst and people really enjoy sensationalism so they're always going to go to the most ridiculous thing and they don't have your best interest at heart so like the idea and also also there's been

situations where i've been uh friend consensually friendly with girls on stream forget them on stream i might grope a titty or an ass or something and they like it but the community runs with it like oh my god he needs to grope that drunk girl yeah consensual groping we've all heard of that when you're a star you can get away with it they love it thanks taylor you got it i got another one um sure i i watched some videos about you in preparation for this and they told a story. They may have it wrong, but I guess there was a super fan, right? This guy was a huge, huge fan of yours. I think he proposed to his wife in front of you. And, uh, then he and his wife went around and you and his wife looked like you were hitting on her and you may have kissed

her. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that. He comes down the stairs looking totally cuffed and a little demoralized. What's the full story there. Is that about it? Um, sure. Basically I'll, I'll assess what you basically just said. Uh,

super fan met me at a Twitch meetup in Kansas city city and was like hey i really love this girl and he pulls out a box with a ring in it he's like i really want to propose to her i've wanted to propose to her for months but when i found out you're going to be here i thought it'd be really cool if i could propose to her in front of you and i was like that's a fucking honor, dude. Like, I wouldn't propose to a girl at a fucking video arcade, but that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, when I get married, I got to have Hutch there. I'm a bit of a senior. Frankly, I've had the ring in my pocket since I've been on probation

pretty much. And as soon as I'm off, I'm heading to Cali. I'm getting my hands on Hutch. And he's going to watch me propose to the love of my life. I gotta have him there watching. Otherwise it doesn't count. This makes no sense! You realize that, right? You realize how insane it is to only use me, Blade,

to watch you get proposed. Yeah. So. Fast forward. Fast forward. I still won't only use me blade to watch you get proposed. Yeah. So, uh, fast forward, fast forward. Um, it's ludicrous.

Basically about, I'd say about a year and a half. Okay. Okay. They got, they got married. He, he wanted me to be his best man at his wedding.

And I'm like, I can't really make the Oklahoma dude. And I'm sure you know, someone way better than me to be your best man. his wedding. And I'm like, I can't really make the Oklahoma dude. And I'm sure you know someone way better than me to be your best man. That's a little ridiculous. CNN. That's my kid. That is absurd. You don't even know him.

I need tapes at my wedding or else nothing's going on. So anyways, fast forward. So I'm canada and um it's new year's i have been banned off twitch not allowed on twitch not allowed on anybody else's twitch and so my buddy big faults is like yeah we're gonna have like an eight person force, multi-stream crazy new year's Eve party stream. It's going to be epic. And I'm like, that's cool for you guys. But what am I going to do? He's like,

I got you. You can stream in my basement. It's this unfinished basement with like an elliptical. Oh, I remember this. I remember the scene. Yeah. And so while craziness is happening upstairs,

downstairs, there's just quietness and me being like, what's up guys? New Year's three hours. Let's do this. And, um, one by one,

the people would come from upstairs, downstairs, and we want to have a Yeager shot with me. And I'm like, Oh, your shot. All these people did this. So between me taking shots for my stream

and then free shots for them, I get pretty drunk. Well, down waddles a girl. Her name's Cherokee. Waddles. And she is... Is that the pot to the kettle? Yeah.

Actually, I've slimmed down, and it's not because I'm just a boost. You really have. At the hospital, I weighed 243. And how tall are you? I know you're taller than me. 6'2". Yeah. Really?

Okay. yeah really so okay um so anyway is um she comes down and she's like she's pretty drunk and she starts like kind of like eye fucking me i'm like uh your husband's up there and there's a camera right there but that didn't stop her and so we i instigated a lot of it but but basically we started making out and I, you know, and it got this perfect angle because it was me kissing her and in between our necks, you could see

Crispy come down the stairs and then we parted our necks and he just looked devastated. Rightfully so. I would be devastated the same way. You're in his house, right? No, no, no.

He was in Fultz's house. It was neither one of us' house. He wants you to be his best man. Yeah. Or did. So does she. So they're married at this point. They're married at this point.

Oh, they're married. Okay. Were you the best man just to clear that up quickly? No, no. Shame. Okay, too bad. I couldn't make the oklahoma city i was really busy and and obviously it's insane so you weren't going anywhere so do you know what

happened to their marriage oh they got they got divorced that's awful regrets there please um 90 regret because it's super fucked up and not cool. I would never want to like... You know what? I think I have enough respect for every single one of you guys that if you had a significant other, I wouldn't, no matter how drunk I'd be, I wouldn't make out with your girlfriends, friends, or your wives.

I wouldn't do it. And also, I'm pretty sure... Thanks for that. I appreciate it also, I'm pretty sure your girlfriend wouldn't be down in any ways. So cool, okay? But there's this small part of me where she

didn't resist and kind of instigated. You know what I mean? It's not like she was like, no, no, no and i like forced myself on her that's true she was into it she was definitely into it i've like like at first when when woody asked the question i didn't remember this but when you talked about the unfinished basement it clicked for me and i could it just played in front of my in my brain in my mind's eye i watched it just now as you were describing it yep that was an epic clip so the next obviously i'm hungover and obviously i don't even like to check any of this stuff the

red and it's the anything because literally like if something if i do something bad i miss too much you don't like to what any of this stuff that i don't like to check the Reddits and all the social if I did something fucked up the night before. I knew I did something fucked up the night before because it went past that. It went to live stream fails. If I get on live stream fails, I know I fucked up. Because that's a fucking massive audience. The whole day, I'm sitting there, and I'm like, dude, I don't want this phone call. I don't want this phone call because I know what it's going to be.

Keem's going to call me and fucking yell at me for half an hour. Be like, dude, you got to stop drinking. What the fuck were you thinking? So finally, Keem fucking called. And he is laughing hysterically as soon as i pick up the phone i'm like uh what he's just like you're a goddamn legend no one can make that shit up she was married dude and the husband was right there that was fucking hilarious dude that was cool that was incredible yeah he's like i like, I thought you'd be mad,

dude. He's not mad. That was fucking amazing. Like that, that girl could, that girl had fucking willpower. She could have been like, no,

but she fucking chose to do that. Cause she's a hoe. So fuck that was, and I'm like, that's the phone call. Okay, cool. Man,

that poor guy. If it hadn't been Blake, if it hadn't been Blade sliding in there, it'd have been some 360 no-scoper or some montage. Zer Grizz would have slid in there. Anyone with a KD over 2, quite frankly.

Anyone. Any trick shotter out there. She'd have probably went as low as a battlefield montage maker. Somebody like... Grizz with a 720 fake his way into that gash. I'm going to give you some updates on some people from Waypoint.

First off, unfortunately, do you guys remember Joe Hanson? Say his name again. No. Joe Hanson. Joe Hanson, the montage guy? Anyways. Oh, yes, the montage guy? Anyways. Oh, yes. Favorite montage guy ever.

It wasn't like insane clips, but the way he edited it to the music was so dope. It was artistic. Apparently, he passed away about a year ago. Oh, no. And the second update that made me realize that gameplay commentary doesn't work anymore

is that that guy who camps uploaded a video after not uploading for... Really? He was big back in the day. I remember him being a huge YouTuber in the very beginning of it, and then just like a wisp of smoke was gone um he didn't like the scene anymore he was super hell-bent on like you should do this for fun and now everyone's tags descriptions and thumbnails and they're not actually making content and people are bumping. And I don't know how bumping really offended him.

Fuck that guy. That guy can suck my giant horse dick. Oh, you know, are people making money on YouTube? Can you believe it? How offended? You should be doing this for the love. It sucked my horse dick, really.

I don't know. He made money. He made money too. He made money too? Yeah, not much though. Fuck you. That sucks about Joe Hanson though. There was this whole genre of YouTube creators blasting other YouTube creators for uploading daily

or having eye-catching thumbnails or something like that. Dude, China's past scores Dude, time has passed. Scores posted, they're wrong. Did I ever once knock anybody for doing that? No. As we were coming? Never. Exactly.

Never. Making money. I feel like the guys who did that were the guys who were losing. Like my take. That's exactly right. My projection on that guy who camps is his bell curve was so early on that it didn't peak like some of the later ones right my bell curve was decent i'm a what 2013 peaker 14 i don't know whatever i was um the guys who are peaking now are legit like super famous going on late night talk shows

televisions and shit like that um yeah you know you gotta now twitch is a place where people peak a lot uh who's the guy with the crazy hair who plays Fortnite? Ninja. Ninja, right? That guy's on CNBC talking about the millions he's making. Business news, right? That's what peek is now. Peek back in 2010, where that guy who camps is,

he was making dozens if not hundreds of dollars. He missed it, and that's why he's mad. Okay. Can I talk about ego for a second sure sure i i i feel like i'm a humble motherfucker okay i really do but the humblest so humble lots of good people that's just my people talking about yeah all right anyway but i do feel that if you are at all successful, you do need to have a little bit of an ego. You know what I mean?

Like, you're not going to let a homeless dude on your channel fucking spit nonsense. You have some standards and you have a little bit of ego. I watched this clip about a year ago where there's this big event where Drake and Ninja stream. Right. Big event. Quarter million people watching.

Everyone thought it was the coolest thing ever. Right. Well, later on, this dude says, well, you can't really deny that Drake did definitely benefit from playing Fortnite with me. And I'm like, no. Drake's stock did not rise a cent because he played Fortnite with you, dude. You benefited from that. But like,

Drake wasn't like, oh shit, I made it. You know, like, Drake's already Drake. What the fuck are you talking about dude drink didn't benefit it's not that benefited but that is one of the coolest perks of having oh he's an a-list celebrity right but uh yeah even as a z-list celebrity sometimes uh like i posted on uh eft streamers stream last night on twitch landmarkmark I felt like he Had heard of me before and it's like oh He read mine that's kind of cool Like getting access

To people or streams or Whatever is one of the most Ego inflating perks Off the strings of just your name Like I'll go into a YouTube stream and just type In there like Ayo and then The chat's like, oh shit,

it's played. It's played. It's played. Yeah. The stream would be like, oh, Hey blade, how are you doing?

Whereas if you're just normal viewer, they might, unless you're like a donator or something, they might not have the same response. Yes. By the way, speaking of EFT, did you hear what happened to Pistilli?

I did. Dude, that hurt me. Yeah. So Pistilli fell down some stairs in the Netherlands, and he's fucked up. That's a photo of him there. Oh, shit. Like, hurt his neck?

Here, I'll share his photo. He fell down the stairs forward, and he... Here, I'm about to share with everybody. They have him in a neck brace there. Somebody on Reddit, this totally unreliable source, said that that machine in the top left that yellow thing

with his that his hand is on was concerning to him like i don't know what it is but um anyway he was released from the hospital later that day he said he wasn't going to stream for a couple of days until he got back on his feet um but he's hilarious on his twitter i don't know if i'll find the replies but he's retweeting the funniest shit. Veritas. Yeah, here's Veritas sliding into the new wipe thing. A lot of guys are like, hey boys, let's crack straight into it.

He's cracked straight into the stairwells. Bastille, Bastille for me has this thing that Chris Pratt does, in that I just sort of root for good things to happen for that dude. You know, like he's a good guy.

And one four hour conversation. Yeah. I, I don't, I don't know how many hours of his stream I've watched now, but you might call it 200. Like, like,

wow. You know, he's okay by the way. Yeah. Yeah. So he's okay. He's, he's gonna take a few days off and,

but he apparently was good and hurt like it's easy to forget how like powerful we are i'm struggling with words here but if you fall forward on the steps onto your head that's a heavy hit you know if i stand up and bump my head into something it's like why do i stand so strong like there's a lot of force you know couldn't i stand up just barely enough? Why did I have to hit my head so hard? But yeah, yeah, Pastille got hurt. Damn, that sucks.

Yeah. At least he's okay, so good for him. Good for him, and he got to go to the Netherlands, so that's fine. Well, he's traveling Europe this whole year. I remember he was talking about he and his wife going on that trip. Even his tweet was, so I've gone on a bit of an adventure

to test the Netherlands health system. He had a sense of humor in there. That's how you have to handle things like that. Yeah, that's crazy. Let it get you down. I'm sure he'll tell the whole story. We'll probably clip it and put it on his YouTube channel. He'll know more than I know now but apparently fell forward down

the stairs that's the the core of it he's out of the hospital yeah i'm glad he's okay no breaks everything's in one place he'll be playing tarkov in no time i had a little question for for blade so when you you said you're like three and a half weeks clean of booze which is awesome that's great when you stopped did you have like withdrawal effects from it i think um i'll give an example when 2018 keen sat in a chair and broke it and was like fuck this we're getting healthy he calls me up he's like here's your plane ticket dude coming to new york we're gonna you're gonna quit the booze so we're gonna eat healthy and work overflow i was like okay and i didn't have a sip of alcohol for six months except for like the first couple days i was a little irritable after that nothing i know what

you're all symptoms when i decide to drink i fucking do it for the stream, and it's like, okay, we're doing it. It's not like I wake up and slam some whiskey. You know what I mean? Just want to clarify that. Why do you do Jaeger? We've talked about it. That seems like the most disgusting, syrupy, sugary drink to be slamming all night.

Honestly, to me, it gives me the funnest drunk, and it gives me a party drunk that keeps me up whereas like if i'm drinking screwdrivers or jack i basically to a point where i'm like i'm good i want to sleep i feel so warm so it doesn't really get it's more of a party drink for me and i love it i know i shouldn't drink it but yeah i talked to an alcoholic who talked about him drinking again after his uh a period of time off and uh for him like it was instantly home and happiness just the taste of it hitting their lips was like ah yeah this is this is this is my happy place is that what alcohol is for you?

a little bit do you remember the commercials with Pepto Bismol where it showed a skeleton and the Pepto Bismol would go in and that warm feeling from that I feel like I can only get from I assume alcohol and heroin I really love that and I get that feeling the same strength

each time the first drink of the night I get that from it's like a in one of the videos I watched to get ready for this they said that your relationship with Keem was over I guess he went on and said he was done with you You had done something that turned

You off towards him Keem's been begging me And trying to help me for years to fucking quit boo I appreciate him for that But there was a dog throwing incident And So at that point he was, he had already distanced himself from me. We're always going to be brothers.

He's always going to be my homie. I actually do business almost on the daily doing something that I don't want to talk about. As far as like friendship wise, he's like, I can't, I can't really have you around. As far as friendship-wise, he's like, I can't really have you around if you're going to go down this path. Throwing dogs. I want to talk about dog throwing ASAP. You want to talk about the dog throwing?

Yes. First of all, what kind of dog are we talking here? Let's finish the Keem relationship thing. I'm chomping at the bit to get this dog. But okay. The dog throw Keem relationship thing. I'm chomping at the bit to get this dog. But okay. The dog throw was the final thing. I really can't

associate with you, dude. We've always been friends. We've never needed each other. As far as basically, I asked him, I was like, so if I was in Buffalo doing some IRL streams, you wouldn't come out? He's i'm like it is what it is you know so i didn't like

the dog throwing to keem i'm sorry blade keem's on my mind kyle go ahead it sounds like you want to leave this off what kind of dog we're talking here that's part of the problem uh a small enough one to toss off you kyle it was like a pug or something. It was like... Smaller than a pug. Smaller than a pug. Probably about the size of one of my dogs. Alright, now did you

do one of those things where you hold it and you push it away? Or did you wind up and give her like a good Brett Favre? I didn't shop with this dog. It was licking me too much and I was Wind up and give her like a good Brett Favre. Put a little spin on it. I didn't shot. I didn't shot. Okay. I'm like, it was licking me too much.

And I was like, and like I tossed them. You have to think I'm in a couch slumped over. So we're only like two feet above the ground. Yeah. And he landed on fucking carpet and scampered off. Nothing happened. Luckily we got a second angle of it because at the time i was living at a house where we had a 24 7 cam so my cam from the angle looks like i fucking called

this dog but if you look at it from the second angle it's literally like throwing a cat or or dog off you and then they fucking scamper it's so bizarre that so many streamers get in trouble for throwing animals like yeah there was that chick on twitch who threw a cat or something right now i will i will i will say this okay that was fucked up there is there's no defending that there's no this happened no flat out fucked up my sister fucking owns three dogs and we had a conversation about this and it's like i'm not gonna sit here and try to defend myself on that one my bad i fucked up simple as that there's no like fair enough saving saving face honestly god i fucked up we've moved on from it if i could take it back i would it sounds like when you're really drunk

there's no learning experience i didn't come out of this a better person it was fucked yeah it sounds like one of those situations where you're just super drunk and you just make a split decision and it's like you realize what you've done after it's done yeah yeah it's yeah yeah that sucks i don't i don't like that either but but i definitely accept your explanation for how that went down the so just so you know i had played the video for the people watching they could see it um the i wish it was a cat right like if it was a cat or maybe if it was like you know those uh irish sheep dogs that you see running on top of all the sheep and like it you throw one of those things you'll probably roll with it and come right do it again

dad right that if it's athletic enough. If it's a cat, fuck. That throw wasn't too much different than the cat just jumping off the fire. You could throw that cat out a window. I won't care. What people don't see because of the clip is the dog went and got a fetch toy and brought it back. Yeah, that's not in the clip. In the clip is just you holding this dog. And you're right.

It's not a pug. I can't quite recognize what it is. It's a mutt. But it's a dog who's kind of fat in the tummy with short legs. Pug-ish. And you throw it, and it looks like he goes backwards. He's just not made for throwing like a cat is. You can wind up with a cat. Dude yeah let her fly launch a fucking cat cat oriented

you how far i've thrown cats out of sight i'm like i'm like uncle rico i'm like fucking uncle rico from napoleon dynamite you think i could throw this cat over that mountain uh yeah yeah but the problem is the dog just wasn't an athletic dog that dog's not made for throwing and i can't imagine he landed well he i i wish you could see the clip where he because there was a second there was a second there was a second... There was a second shooter. Second tosser. Yeah. Yeah. No, I believe you. I understand that one.

I don't understand why you did it. I understand that it's probably not as bad as it looks, though. Because it was wasted. Because I actually... Yeah, if you hadn't been wasted and you'd done that, that would have been fucked beyond belief. It's an official statement. Not cool.

You know, none of us think it's cool. I feel like we got away from how it's not cool a little bit. He's still responsible for the things he does even though he drank. Still responsible. No more dog throwing. Still responsible, yes. But I think they have they say less about your character

of the things you do when you're that blitzed. Right? I think you've got a little less control over impulses and stuff like that. The forethought doesn't really exist when you're that drunk. What's your relationship with Ice Poseidon now? I haven't kept up on that at all. You guys don't work together. He's trying to go a little more PG-13 related.

Yeah, basically he wanted to get away from all the leeches. Can you say that again? He moved away from L.A. to get away from that scene, all the leeches. Leeches, okay. Moved to Austin with his girlfriend. He's trying to run a family- friendly thing. I, I can't, I really don't like watching streams on a platform I'm not familiar with. So if you're on Twitch or YouTube,

I can watch your stream, but like mixer is all weird. And then is he on mixer now? Just mixer. Yeah. Okay. And so I, I,

my, here's the thing. My relationship with ice was, he brought me out for, and I appreciate him for that. And there's some times when we've been hanging out, but the problem is, is that everyone in his life wanted something, wanted to benefit from friendship from him. I want to be friends with him because I just think I'm a cool dude and I want

to be friends with him because i just think i'm a cool dude and i want to be friends with everybody but he wouldn't really let in to that into his bubble because he was so used to everyone trying to benefit from being around him so he never really opened up um was always cool with me i've seen him a couple times since then. Like when we visited Austin, he visited Vegas. We've always been cool with each other, but we've never been like buds. You can probably understand where that comes from, the bubble with him. Absolutely. For a long time, not so much now, but there was a period for me where it seemed like everyone knew I met,

was trying to cozy up to me in an effort to benefit themselves in some way like they didn't like me because they enjoyed my company they liked me because i had a lot of views per month and you know that's why they're talking to me and um and oftentimes it was crazy true fuck my um when i bought this house four years ago the other person's real estate agent tried to get me to manipulate votes on like some singing tv show to help him and it's like fuck i i just met you i just met you and you want me to go on youtube and promote you on the american idol or something you should have told him five thousand dollars that's my normal fee. Actually, that's not bad. $10,000, but you all do $5,000. I've been asked to do all kinds of crazy things.

I mentioned it briefly before. We quote them a price. Does anyone here ever heard of Menudo? The boy band? The Mexican boy band, Menudo? No? I haven't been in the Mexican boy band scene for a little while. It is my kryptonite, though.

Gets me every time. Anyway, they were an interesting boy band Because they were huge And they were huge for like 20 years Because once you got like 16 years old They kick you out of the band and bring in a younger guy And Menudo just kept rolling along Was Ricky Martin in Menudo?

He was in Menudo yeah This guy's career not as good as Ricky Martin's Now he's in real estate And he was trying to get on American Idol or something and he wanted me to help him. Also a kind of Mexican soup. Anyway, people use you. People hear you have some sort of audience and all of a sudden they want you to be their advertising platform. Tell your audience about them. So I can see where ICE gets defensive about that because that happens. Well, this seems like a good time to read an ad.

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yourself, especially if you're going to be using public Wi-Fi. Yeah, definitely. A little shady. Keep your private life private. Don't you feel I made a mistake connecting to McDonald's Wi-Fi one time, and every time I drive on the freeway near it, it'll fucking connect real quick.

And I feel like that's probably the dirtiest Wi-Fi. You might as well just be lost reading your fucking information you know what I mean triglycerides yeah I disable that on my phone so it only connects to known networks which is my network and also it's kind of a sign of you were struggling

one where you needed McDonald's wifi yeah I've used it once there was a time when my internet went out like a tree had actually like, like hit the power and maybe I couldn't get internet because of it. Yeah. I think that was the case. And I had,

I just went into parked in front of a McDonald's and like did some online shit or something like that. Cause I, and I couldn't tether where I was at or maybe this was before tethering, but I definitely remember going and doing that i think i even tried to upload a youtube video way back in the day a gaming video from mcdonald's i don't remember if it worked or not but it would have taken forever woody do you remember billionaires challenge one where we're all walking around and white boy is walking with his laptop pointed at the sky trying to find a signal to

upload a video no that sounds good i like it yeah white boy works super hard on his channel like all the time he was uh can i say his fucking parody shit is amazing that he did of me yeah oh my god i'm not i'm not offended at all it was great shit had me dying like that was that was my genuine first time seeing it and my genuine reaction i at first i didn't recognize him at all like alex lived with me for months and months in my house i've met him many times i didn't recognize the motherfucker i was like is that no it's not blade it who what oh shit it's alex yeah that was so good he knocked out of the park that was hilarious i think that's the last one right we use that as the grand finale sort of yes yes chis did a good job editing that whole thing out. We wanted to get Alex on with you on the same show

and do another Spelling Bee. That would have been epic. Actually, one of my top supporters a couple years ago, I looked at the Streamlabs and saw the top supporters, was this guy. His username was blonde well i didn't hear that word his username was what balan what is that the spelling of balloon I forgot about that that was so many years ago

I was very high but now I remember oh that's so funny you spelled balloon ballon oh you guys talking about your spelling bee? It was the silence after I said it.

And what do you go? Blake is lost. And then the joy from White Boy. I realized he had been victorious. Exuberance. Exuberance. Champion again. Right? The 72-time champion. exuberance yeah champion again 72 time champion remember when white boy would do those real life dolphin dives yeah yes the the worst one he ever did was uh we were at uh at paintball at cpx sports in joliet

and they had scooped up all of the shot paint balls that had accumulated at the firing range and they piled them up on this tarp. And, and I don't know exactly what paint balls are made out of, but part of it is like a vegetable oil or something akin to that. It's biodegradable so that it kind of just disappears on the ground. And that means that during that sort of decomposition process, it gets super yucky. Yeah. It's not a synthetic product. So it's, it's, it's organic. And so it rots, it, it decomposes and this stuff was rotten and decomposed. And as they had scooped it up, they'd gotten plenty of liquid from the puddles and mud and muck. And they had, and they put it all on this tarp.

And it looked disgusting. Might have been a kiddie pool. An inflatable kiddie pool, maybe? He's done a couple of them. But I remember a kiddie pool for one of them. But I think I remember a tarp for one of them. In any case, he commits to his dolphin dives pretty fucking well. I got to say something.

So I basically, i have two phones i got a samsung and i got an iphone i use a samsung um iphones aren't good for streaming but this is working with the headset or whatever um my phone is low but i also have a fast charger so i'm gonna roll with you guys until the phone dies then i'm gonna put on a fast charger. I'm going to roll with you guys until the phone dies. Then I'm going to put on the fast charger and I'll be up to 50% in five minutes and I'll be back. Awesome. If I die out,

that's what's going on. I love fucking... I'm not supported by these guys, but Anker makes these battery packs that are fucking life and this one has power delivery an iphone charger does five like just says five this thing 30 so it literally like it will charge my samsung zero to 100 in less than a half an hour damn and it charges my it does the same thing for

my iphone so when this gets shut down i didn't i didn't rage quit you i'll quickly um take understood five ten ten to five ten minute break and recharge it and then i'll get back on just letting you know when i disappear that's all yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan, man. Because for whatever reason, you can't charge your iPhone and have headsets at the same time. You need a double dongle. Yeah, yeah. That's so stupid. Taylor, you've been watching The Sopranos, finally.

Oh, yeah. You're loving it, right? It's fantastic. It's one of the best shows I've ever watched, and it's been out for, what, 20 years? 20 years. I'm just now watching this fucking show yeah this show rocks everything about it is great so far except for the mom character but she died and so i'm i'm happy for that so now i like every character where are you uh they just like an episode or so ago

killed pussy uh or no i guess that was the end of season two they killed pussy and so now i'm like three or four episodes i think i'm like three and a half season three no spoilers for the season that released in 2002 killing him was so big to me because he was in right he was a main character in the show i don't think i had seen a lot of shows at the time where characters that essential didn't have plot armor. So to watch him get killed was like, fuck. Well, I was glad to see him die. It's almost like if you see him get shot and fall

and you think he's dying, you're like, no, he's going to wake up in the hospital. It's going to be a storyline. But then when you find out he's actually dead dead, you're like, what? Yeah, where they're dragging his body to the edge of the boat. Have you guys watched The Wire? Yes.

That's up next. Kyle said to watch The Wire as soon as I'm done with Sopranos. Dude, The Wire is so goddamn good. I could talk about that for days. The chess scene? Where they explain chess in the context of a drug dealing organization? Yeah. You know what's funny?

That whole chess scene thing leads up to later on when Bodhi actually gets killed. He gets killed by a dude that actually does a rook move in order to get to him. Oh yeah? That shows so deep, dude.

That shows... It wasn't written by TV writers. It was written by a homicide detective from um from baltimore or and an inner city school teacher these two guys just decided to come together and write this and they wrote a math and i could talk about that explains the season where they focus on the school district a ton. Yeah. Uh, my favorite TV show of all time. Uh, there was,

if you'd asked me three years ago or, or maybe even two years ago, I think my ranking went something like the wire game of Thrones and then the Sopranos, but we don't talk about game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is like that uncle that used to come to Christmases until he got caught with a, with a cub scout.

And then we just pretend like dad doesn't have a brother. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the game of Thrones is a molesting uncle. until he got caught with a Cub Scout, and then we just pretend like dad doesn't have a brother. Yeah. Yeah. That's what Game of Thrones is, a molesting uncle. It's a molesting uncle. A rapist of sorts. It's hard to rank shows above each other.

For me, Wire's number one, but besides that, The Soprano, Breaking Bad, Oz, if you can fucking get past the dick. I can't get past. Oz is so far off that list for me. Dude, Oz depressed me. I liked Oz. It was sad as shit. It made me, every time I would watch Oz, I'd be like, damn, my life is pretty good.

Fuck you. I watched Oz, and I just had gotten locked up. I was just like, is this what's coming? Is this my future? Should I just had gotten locked up. I was just like, is this what's coming? Is this my future? Should I just hang myself? Oz is good. Go ahead. You're excited.

Okay. This reminded me. This is another prison story, okay? So I'm in the hole. Literally in administrative segregation, right? And I asked the lady that's bring him by the books i'm like give me your three longest books in the whole mean solitary confinement that you're yeah solitary confinement uh lockdown 24 hours a day no human contact uh no lights it's very

it affects you fuck anyways uh i asked the lady i like, can I get the three biggest books you got? So she gave me them. One of them was a book about trademarks versus patents. Not a fucking page. It wasn't a re it wasn't a story thing. It was literally like a reference book on how to fucking patent. So, so that was a waste. What a fucking bitch. Right. something. So that was a waste. What a fucking bitch!

Right? Here's how to install your own HVAC system. But one of them she gave me was Stephen King's The Stand. Right? Okay. So, 1,200 pages. And I'll break it down. 200 pages of introductory introduction of random people.

The fucking plague happens for fucking 400. Then after that's like the aftermath. Well, part of the story was they would just tell these random stories of these random people that you assume are all going to like be part of the story later. You know? Well, these two brothers, not like brother-brothers, like siblings, they go on a murder mission and one brother gets killed, the other one gets thrown

into jail, thrown into the penitentiary and they put him in solitary. Can you start over? They put them in solitary. Did you hear his words? No, i can just fill in the blanks okay so i'm sorry guys uh anyways so they put him in in the hole solitary whatever you want to call it and i'm in the hole solitary what you call it i'm like oh we're brothers now cool and it's like three o'clock in the hole, solitary with a call. I'm like, oh, we're brothers now. Cool. And it's like three o'clock in the morning

and then the plague hit and it kills 99% of the population. That means everyone in the prison dies but this dude. And he's in the hole. I'm scared shitless. Because if some shit were to happen where everyone dies but me,

how am I getting out of... Like... Yeah, you'd starve to death. Yeah, dude, I thought about... I'm not really into the zombie apocalypse or anything, but I want to learn how to get gas from an abandoned gas station. Because I have no clue how.

So, just so you know, that doesn't work because gas goes bad. It has an expiration date Well I'm hoping Like a couple days when everyone Died off and then I'm like Trying to get some gas I would assume you just head west

I don't know You just head west You're going to want to find yourself a horse There should be a national Gas lasts a while Kyle I've got gas it's four months old in my garage it's working there's there should be i mean it depends on the so you've got gas for four months but what i'm saying is like the apocalypse

isn't gonna have national meeting if there's if there's an if there's a fucking breakout and half the world dies where is everyone to meet we say meet in vegas right now or something you know what i mean like pick a place that we're all gonna migrate i don't want to meet up with the other survivors i'm going to montana there's already been nobody there i know where i'm going and i'm not telling montana was a red herring i'm not going to montana that's where i stashed the chandelier that's right that's the chandelier so what were you uh what what got you in the hole and how long were you in there like why'd they put you in there fuck it i'm telling the story um please battery last i okay i love pinochle i was playing pinochle and this guy named sylvia come for people who don't know real quick can you explain pinochle just pinochle is the greatest card game ever made

some people um who doesn't know what pinochle is it only consists of face cards so there's no number and there's multiple there's like multiple and there's like multiple jack there's four jack of diamonds, four queen of spades and so there's 80 cards in a deck you deal them out and you play just like the game Spade where you lead suit

and you try to take books there's a lot more to it than that but that's all I can really explain to give you a simple gist of it i love the i play it on my phone um i i've almost made it to old folks homes where they were playing it because i want like those are the only people to play it and fucking old old folks, they wouldn't let me. It was the most awkward conversation. Cause I was like, so who are you here to visit?

I'm like, no one. I was just seeing if anybody, if there's any action at the. Be knuckle tape. They're like, this is not a casino. It's a retirement community

and I'm like can I go in there and visit the old people they're like no you can't you don't let just like nice people come in and say hi to the old folks they would love that they're like no sir you smell so strongly about that. Gary's got his teeth on the table. It's getting real.

You've got a cooler. Dolores is betting on medication. Bitch will have a seizure if she loses this hand Those medications are for the patients No Bjorn can't come in with you You can't have the morphine So I love P-Knuckle And this dude This new inmate comes in

And wants to play And I can tell he's a degenerate gambler And you don't get your money This new inmate comes in and wants to play. I could tell he's a degenerate gambler. You don't get your money on your books the first week you're there. I know I'm going to have to wait a week, but I say, fuck. We play a couple games. You're only playing a dollar game. I play a couple games, and I realized he's getting frustrated.

So I fucking tell my partner, I was like, hey, dude, throw this game. Like, don't try to win at all. I'll fuck up. Just go with it. So we play the game. I gave him so many opportunities to the next thing he won it was ecstatic he was like ha i knew i could beat you you bitch i'm like all right all right dude calm the fuck down you want to play again like i was kind of mad because i was like i let you win dude like if you only knew that I let you win to string you along, but you're

cocky thinking you fucking won the World Series here, dude. Stop it. So, over the course of a week, I got him to where he owed me like 50 bucks. So I let him start playing $10 hands or $10 games,

which is unheard of, just to give him a chance to win that. I let them win one here and there. He owed me $300. $300, you said. Wow. $300. So when you get someone in that kind of debt in there, you can only order $50 worth of store at a time.

So I go, all right, dude, I'm going to get like $35 worth of stuff for me. You can get a little bit of food and some hygiene. Don't want you picking up a tear. And then just do that three times. So, oh, $35, what was that? That would be like

$105. Yeah. Go ahead. Okay. I know it's 105 it's 105 yeah okay anyways you guys are out um no that's a joke i make every week the whole incalculable thing don't take it personally okay um and so uh And so the day that I'm supposed to get store, I'm like, hey, guys. I go, hey, man, we're going to go to Mainline, which is like where you go get your food. I'm going to go to Mainline. When I get back, just have my stuff ready in a bag. I'll walk by your cell.

You can just toss it to me. Yeah, whatever, dude. And I'm just like, okay, that's like yeah whatever dude and i'm just like okay that's not the response i want but okay go to main line come up to a cell i'm like all right dude let me get that let me get that and he's like fuck you wop and which is like basically like the n word for italian people if this would have happened on the streets i would have been like whatever dude but this is prison where if you let someone talk to you like that and don't do anything everyone's gonna think you're a bitch it's prison mentality so i went in there and i started piecing them in just started just beating on them real with just empty Okay. You know. Well, this is a thing to me, like stabbing.

No, I'm masturbating him. Furiously. Hey, hey. And I got him coming, right? He's coming hard. And I say, that's another 30. Of course the tear is like yelling and screaming. And the fucking riot shield guards come in, pin us and take us to the hole.

Okay. Did he ever now? No, because that's when they transferred me to wall. Now, one, one thing I will say, and this will give you a timeframe. When they took me to Shelton, I was in the hole for 36 days. Okay. they took me to Shelton. I was in the hole for 36 days.

Okay. When they took me to Shelton, it was the first time I listened to music and they play. I like the way you move by outcast and Jamie Foxx and Twista, like slow jam. Those are like popular on the radio at the time. And I never heard the songs, but listening to music for the first time after fucking 30 days, dude,

I got goosebumps, dude. This is amazing. Imagine not listening. I've been watching that show 60 Days In, and season six, and quickly, for anyone who doesn't know for some reason, they put undercover people in a jail, like a hardcore jail, to try to root out drugs, contraband, and see how well the COs do their job. Well, anyway, one of the participants, someone who is undercover, loans this guy three packets of grits because the man is hungry.

And he says, you owe me three soups. And the guy's like, cool cool i'll get you tomorrow tomorrow comes around my girl's messing with my money she won't put any money on my books i can't get you your soups he's like you're gonna pay me and he's like i'll pay you i'll pay you next day comes i don't got nothing man i got nothing he's right, all right. Take off your shirt, your pants, your flip-flops, and give me a fucking towel. Yeah, give me a fucking towel. And he takes all of these things from them. He is the undercover and he has taken all of this man's clothing and his towel, which is a commodity in prison, by the way. Your towel is, we had three towels and you

could pay money to get a special towel but this seemed like his only fucking towel in jail he then takes this man's flip-flops pants shirt and towel and gives it away to his buddies and they're all laughing about it the guy went into pc yeah he went protective custody after that yes hey kyle what an asshole i i have to i have to slide this in okay so in washington you can get a care you can get a care package up to 15 pounds okay you can get oh boy roberto me you can get books in or you can have your family sending but only once like basically four times a year. Some dude had a beef with some other dude and had his girl send him one pair of socks in his package. And that was the only package you can get for three months.

It was just a pair of socks. Fucked him over. So meanwhile, meanwhile, family put together a fucking care package and he's on the phone. Like, why'd you deny the care package? He's like, I would have never denied that. It's this fucking asshole

sending me a pair of socks and I signed for it not realizing it. That's fucked up. Yeah, that's super fucked up. We could get whatever we wanted anytime we wanted, like sent in. They would go through it. They'd read your letter. They'd scan it, drug dog on it and all that.

But I had people send me books so like chis sent me a bunch of books kitty sent me a bunch of books and i read i read like voraciously i went through stephen king's got i'm not gonna say i went through half the stephen king catalog because that would i need to be the the the four novella story thing the different seasons the the what now we're novella different it's it's called different seasons where it's for sure it's for not short stories but the novella is basically not long enough for a book short enough to be a short story um i read the mist the shawshank redemption apt pupil and stand by me all the movies from that one okay okay no i read 11 22 63

uh the mist it um a good bit of the stand i was i was working on it when i got released and i didn't go back to it um i want it was crazy long uh the book it and uh there were some others i'm not oh i read a little bit of the gunslinger. Do you ever get pissed at Stephen King when he spends 30 pages describing a dude's arm? Yes. Come on, dude. Let's keep it. Keep this moving. In 11-22-63, he was describing some guy who had diarrhea.

And it was like 40 minutes. I listened to an audio book. So it must have been like 40 minutes spent on how his stomach was upset. To me, because I was, was you know literally trying to kill time sitting on my sitting on my fucking bunk in prison take your time we got nothing but you know so so like i didn't mind i just i just try to do you know i try to let my mind paint the picture that that he's describing and it becomes a little bit more visceral for me so i didn't mind if i were listening to an audiobook i could definitely understand that,

especially you because you're like, you're listening to it while you do stuff and you're like wanting a hop along kind of story and he don't do that too much. It's a little easier to follow when things are happening. You know, like you zone out and you're like, we're still on the diarrhea for real? Yeah.

Yeah. He had to buy incontinence pants, which I guess are big diapers. And there was this long story about how the guy behind the cash register reacted to the incontinence pants. I had no problem with any of that. Send me a link to those. I had no problem with that part of the book. I liked that part of the book.

It was showing you that time didn't want him to change time. You know, reality itself was saying, no, no, no, no, no. Stop trying to change fucking time. And it was like throwing any roadblock in his way it could. I liked that part in particular. I liked him going. Because it was in the back of my head. It was like, God, is he going to shit his pants while he's trying to stop this murder?

Like, that's on his mind. I'm pretty sure he was wearing a diaper when he went to go be a hero. he's gonna shit his pants while he's trying to stop this murder like that's on his mind i'm pretty sure he was wearing a diaper when he went to go be a hero before before my phone cuts me off one of the weight loss things is i drink a lot of water and also i only have one can of soda a week it's my it's my little it's my little prize every friday the prizes are important right like it i in my opinion it creates a more sustainable diet you know if you just want to be professional fighter perfect all the time yeah you would surprise me if you did that for a whole life i've been real real good for like seven 10 days or so with diet and like dropping,

dropping a few pounds, need to keep it up. But like watching the Sopranos and all these scenes of him, Tony, just walking in there, looking fat and happy, opening this fridge and pulling out like Capicola and all that. It's like, God, I just want that. Let me jump in right here. The Sopranos and Goodfellas are literally just cooking shows. So I went into Taylor's stream. Hold on.

I went into Taylor's stream before this show, and it was like, Jesus, fuck, Taylor's looking buff. Look at him right now. Look at that arm and the deltoid popping out. And it was like, if you motherfuckers don't think that I'm about to do 60 push-ups, 15 pull-ups, and wear my son's clothing on show so that I can walk out with Taylor, then you're just not watching. Jack, don't put it in there. That's hot water. It'll shrink. I know what I'm doing. I'm going to boil this motherfucker.

I achieved one of my most important weight loss goals. What I did is I found an old box of old clothing when I was at my biggest. I put that shit on and I looked like Fievel Mouskowitz with hand-me-downs. I was like,

I did it. We finally got there nice yeah i can't wait to see five what goes west the sequel oh yeah not as good not as good well i haven't seen it since i was very young so i would imagine it doesn't i got on blu-ray i'm trying to get it in at least once a week yeah the sopranos blade you got it right theranos really is a show with a smattering of mob activity, but mostly it's Italian sharing dishes with one another. Yeah. David Chase was saying, it was talking about how the fans would complain.

They'd say less yakking, more whacking. He's like, but that would just make me want to write a lot more dialogue. So I would, well, the dialogue in the show is great. The dialogue is awesome,

but there are seasons where it goes a while without anybody getting whacked, without any violence. I was glad that... One of my favorite scenes in there is when Tony realizes he could tell a joke that's not funny at all,

and all his goons will fucking laugh hysterically. So he literally goes in like the lamest joke help yeah it was like what do you get when you cross a 747 with maybe a lawyer and they're like what and he said a boring 747 i know that was the punch line and everybody's like like paulie's doing that thing he does where he's like, the pinky out, like finger wag seals. Like, can you believe it?

The skip told another knee slapper. And then you look over everybody's shoulders and feature Lamont is back there. Fucking. That's when he knew feature had to fucking go. Well, I'm not a part of, I haven't been to that yet I do notice how that guy always points with one finger

Like kind of fucky Pauly Yeah he's always doing that Longhorns Feech Lamont was the very old man Who was released from prison in about season 4 I think It's the season that Steve Buscemi gets released alongside him

What makes that show Kind of dated for me Well not dated but Because it was at a different time in four i think it's the season that steve buscemi gets released alongside him what show what makes that show kind of dated for me we're not dated but it's just because it was at a different time was there's i'm trying to say this without ruining it for you um murk but like they find out that somebody in the crew is gay and the way that they fucking approach it's like you would never i know these are mobsters and killers but if you made that sort of day they would never treat it like that they're like oh shit don't talk about him he's got a goomba am i mixing up sopranos with the movie do they find out a guy gives oral sex and get all freaky about it that is the sopranos yeah they found out uncle jr yeah i won't spoil who it

is or how it happens but yeah um. That's already passed, yeah. Oh, well, first they see him at the club, right, wearing the motorcycle outfit. Oh, no, the gay part hasn't passed. I'm talking about the oral sex part. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who does that?

Is it Chrissy? No, it's Uncle Junior. No, it's Uncle Junior, yeah. A bushman of the Kalahari. He's whistling to the wheat. Yeah, he likes showing down on girls, and they all thought that was just not macho enough, I guess. It's not that he likes it. He's amazing at it.

World-class head, as they put it. I like when he goes in. She goes, oh, Junior, when you kiss me down there, you're such an artist. Oh, Junior, you're such an artist. Why don't you keep it to yourself, yeah? You keep it to yourself. Why? You keep it to yourself. Why? What's the big deal about oral sex?

I used to find such a fascination with the way that the mobsters and their wives and how so interesting. But I've changed the leaf. I'm now infatuated with how Boston women

that have like the Departed and shit like that and like the Boxer with the way the sisters and the moms be talking cracks fuck up. Like, you still with that whore? That's all you dumped me months ago. Like, shit like that fucking cracks me up. I tell this joke every time Boston women

come up. Woody and I went up there once for a UFC fight and we had a lot of time to kill because our friend Joe Lozon was prepping to fight the next day. So we weren't going to get in his fucking hair. Not that he has any, but we weren't going to bother. By choice. By choice. And so we were, you know, eating and walking around the city a little bit and just enjoying our little, like, day ahead of the time to just, you know, have.

So I got to see a lot of boston and a lot of boston women and and i always tell people i was like what do you call a beautiful woman in boston they said what a tourist a tourist those are the most those the ugliest women in the united states of america i've been to every major city. I've driven through them. You get a good long look when you drive through a fucking city. I didn't fly and have a layover one time in Boston. No, no, no. I've been in every fucking major city in the United States,

the continental United States, from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Can I say that San Diego has some of the best? Smoking women. Beautiful place. Austin, Texas. Amazing women. Seattle, Washington. that san diego has some smoking women beautiful place all right austin texas amazing women seattle washington beautiful lots of asians there i like that new york oh my god it's beautiful beautiful women georgia honestly atlanta lots of hot ladies Boston women are they are the ugliest women

in the country if not the fucking world I lived in Buffalo dude and as soon as I moved there I'm like I'm moving you're not supposed to live in those conditions I think that's a natural thing that's what the Oregon Trail is all about people go nope we gotta

get the fuck on out of here. This city is a monument to man's arrogance. What's that from? King of the Hill. Peggy says it when they arrive in Phoenix. Is that when Bobby's like, mama can't possibly be that hot. 120.

Whenever he gets out, he's like, oh my god. You know what I'm really excited about? I'm really excited about in the description of this particular podcast, it's like, alright, we start the show

in three hours. Yeah. I want to talk to UFC before the end of the show. I don't want to clog this part of the show up with it But just put a pin in that Because the fight is this weekend And I'm super jazzed for it Hey, hey, hey, how about this

I can give two fucks about UFC Exactly Go ahead and For a bit And I'm going to charge my phone Okay, that's actually a good solution to that. I'll be back, boys. I'm also going to hop off and charge

my phone. No, you're stuck here, Taylor. You're not going anywhere. I've had enough hockey talk to fill a fucking rucksack. You're going to hear this. It would be a good one for you to purchase because it's such a good night of fights. Look at who it is. the main fight is tony ferguson versus versus justin geishie now and that's what we're

pumped about ferguson is exciting because he fights with his elbows a lot everyone who fights with looks like a murder victim because elbows cut uh they don't just hit but they kind of hit and slide and uh they're very, very cutty. I don't know a better way to describe it. So all his victims look like murder victims. That's kind of neat. Justin Gaethje is known for kind of abandoning defense in an effort to just have more offense, right?

He's put all of his skill points into offense. And these two are going to be amazing. He has a great takedown defense, which kind of neutralizes some of the stuff that Tony Ferguson might do on the ground. I don't know. I actually think Justin Gaethje is going to win, but he's the underdog, so it's an uncommon opinion.

I think he's got a shot. I think he's got a very good shot. I would say 35%, 40%. I would say there's a 90% chance it's going to be a good fight. It's going to be an entertaining fight. I think there's a 100% chance it's going to be a good fight. This is not going to be like that fucking dancing match we watched last card with Yoel Romero and Izzy.

That pissed me off. That was the first card I've ever watched where I felt cheated out of my fucking $60, $65, whatever it is. I literally felt like I wanted a refund after that. They should have given refunds and taken it out of their fucking checks. That would have been a good – I would have loved that if Dana White was like, you know what? No, you don't get a bonus. You're getting a deduction of the night.

You're getting a fail of the night. Did you know Pride did that? I did not know that, no. In Pride know if there was inactivity they would give a yellow card and i might get the details on this wrong you might have got one warning and then a yellow card was 10 of your pay and double yellows was 20 of your pay like it was notable yeah yeah if your fight wasn't action oriented as well let's wait they'd cut pay uh and then senri himri sahudo is fighting dominant cruz um i you know himri i don't know the answer to that but uh sahudo is like the king of east 35 uh sahudo is the king of fucking cringe

and in a good way it's it's not i don't like it personally i get why people do like it and and i think it is good for the sport and good for him but it's not what i enjoy but i do enjoy watching the man fight because he can fucking throw it down so i started not liking it at first it was like ah that's cringy i thought he was going for tough right and then he just leaned into the cringe so hard right you know putting diapers on his belts or something and calling them his downed opponents and feeding a milk and talking about how tj is getting fussy or like everything he does is so super cringy that it's an act and it makes me like i circled all the way from not liking him to liking him again because uh I just appreciate the entertainment value that he's putting out there yeah I can't stand his personality uh he's

one of those guys who are like I'm there to watch him fight and that's absolutely it just like Francis Francis Ngannou is the same way for me and he's he's the next on the card I don't care what he's got to say he's not cringy or anything don't get me wrong but he's never like had a quip or a funny line no he bashes people in the fucking skull. That's why I'm a Francis Ngannou fan. I want to see him brain somebody so they stutter when they're 55. On the previous fight, Cruz, on the other hand, is very smart, very articulate. Every time I hear him talk, I feel like I learned something about MMA.

And when he interviews other people and they don't like they butt heads Cruz always comes out on top unless it's Bisping but he's very clever guy very quick-witted and when I watch Cruz usually when I choose my champ I pick the one I want on my TV more often right who do I want to see interviewed next year who do I want to see call out year? Who do I want to see call out a fighter? Who do I want to see get into the next hype, press conference? In my opinion, you can't lose with Cruz versus Cejudo. Maybe you want Cruz.

I want Cruz just because I don't care for Cejudo and seeing him on camera. I want to see him fight. I don't want to see him on camera. And if he loses, it's more likely I'll see him fight than on camera. But would you want to do $ on camera. And if he loses, it's more likely I'll see him fight than on camera. But would you want to do $5 on Ferguson Gaethje?

Yeah. I would take Tony, obviously. Right, right. I'll take Gaethje for $5. I think he's going to win. Coolio. Yeah. Any other fights where you disagree with me?

Because I think Cejudo's going to win, and I think Ngannou's going to win. Is Rose Navajo fighting? No. She lost two family members to the coronavirus and she's having some serious emotional stuff going on right now she has serious emotional stuff when things go well yeah she's she's got a that that's her biggest weakness is her her mental game and look i think we'd all have some fucking mental issues right now if we'd lost two family members to this virus.

So I definitely understand her not competing. It's just a shame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's real tough. But they're putting together a good card. I'm interested in how the show is with no crowd, right?

I'll hear the coaches more. I'll hear the ref more um the fighters will more like you're gonna feel more in tune with what's going on right i've seen the ultimate fighter the tv show and i'm not sure if i like it more or less like there's something about the crowd getting excited that gets me excited along with them so that's kind of cool on the other hand hearing the coaches say things and they both other hand, hearing the coaches say things and both fighters get to hear their coaches say things and it comes through,

that's interesting. The fighters will hear what the announcers are saying and I think that's a dynamic that we almost never get. Fighting in silence, I don't know, I want to see it. Well, the last card was silent,

wasn't it? It was, yeah, there was one that was quiet. I think somebody called out to the crowd to hype him up, and there was no crowd. Yeah, like, come on, come on. Yeah, can I hear it from my... Never mind.

From Mom, she's here. She's got a gas mask on. There's one custodian up there in row 50. Do your best. Woo! Round pride. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. it real pump it's been so long since we've had any ufc uh i i'm hoping we get some fight island shit soon there's masvidal conor

mcgregor rumors going around who knows if that you know the rumors um so uh so yeah i'm looking forward to some shit going down uh khabib is gonna be fucking fasting uh for the next quarter and a half or whatever it is it's shorter i realized it up oh yeah i realized that it's like a month yeah yeah but that but that little period of ramadan affects months prior and months afterwards as far as fighting two months to get his muscle back and then you know of course he needs like that's bullshit by the way okay well he i'm sure he said something like that and uh yeah that's bullshit so he thinks that it takes two muscles to get it two months to get his muscles back and then he wants you know two months or

three months yeah the muscle loss on uh during fasting is uh is is less than with a reduced calorie diet like if you're cutting 500 calories off your basal metabolic rate, you lose more muscle per day than you do going full fat, full water fast because your body has this huge uptake, uptake and HGH levels during a fast that goes up at first like 250% of normal, but all the way up to 1,250% of normal. How long of a fast are you talking about? Like fasting or? No, I mean fasting. I think that 24 to 36 hours immediately starts ticking it up two or three times what it normally is. But if you go out to four or five

days of fasting, your HGH levels are 1200% higher than they normally are it's a it's an evolutionary uh advantage it you know if you think about they always talk about starvation mode right but if you think about it if our ancestors the the went two days without food and their body started shutting down and getting rid of their muscle we wouldn't fucking be here it's true ramadan they just not eat while the sun is up is do I have that right I think it's a dry fast as well I don't think they're drinking water um but but but look I don't know anything about that stuff um but yeah I think it's when the it's um sun down to to sun up maybe they can hydrate and and and eat it's my impression they only drink water during the day and they have a

breakfast before the sun comes up like it's not that insane. It doesn't seem that insane at all to me. Every day from dawn to sunset, no food, no water. Every day from dawn to sunset, no food, no water. But once it gets to nighttime, you can have water and food. How is this different from sleeping 12 hours a night? I don't know. I don't know, man. Here's what, look look if khabib was as hardcore as he says he is he would listen tell me i'm wrong he would flip his sleep schedule yes he would sleep during the goddamn day he'd wake up when the sun went down and that'd be his

morning he'd eat a full fighter's breakfast he'd eat a full fighter's lunch and dinner and he'd train all night and and and look the man's a multi-millionaire i'm talking about 10 million i'm not talking about 25 million the man is wealthy you don't think he can pay some of those skinhead lookalikes he's got hanging around him everywhere to do the same fucking shit yeah yeah i never would have thought about that that's a really good idea i wonder why he's it's probably against the rules somebody Somebody will correct me and tell me. I'll tell you what. It seems like a real big loophole to me. If your

whole reason for existing seemingly is being the greatest fighter at 155 pounds that's ever lived. I like when I see religious people circumventing their own God's rules. The funniest version of that are ultra-Orthodox Jews,

Hasidic Jews, who will, like, for Shabbat or whatever it is, like Friday, they're not allowed to turn on power and stuff. Like, they can't use a monitor. They can't turn their phone on. And so they will build, like, Rube Goldberg machines where it's like, well, if I happen to knock this marble then it touches this which touches that which does this and that and that's six degrees of separation which means i didn't touch it or they'll have something that's it's literally called a shabbos goy and it's a it's a non-jewish

person that they will just hire to be like i can't turn that on flip the switch for me and it's like i just love seeing that because it's like you know that if god was real he'd be sitting up there like i was what i meant like i was filming a i was filming some videos once up in amish country up in ohio i think there's a big amish community up there and i've told this before but basically what the amish up there would do to get away with technology, they would have a phone, but it would be in a little shed at the very end of their driveway on what was technically county property. So they'd walk to the end of the driveway, go in this little shed, which was like a homemade phone booth, essentially, with a house phone. And they'd

go in there and they'd make their phone calls. would own a john deere tractor but not technically they would pay it the note off until they only owed one dollar and the john deere dealership would hold the note and just say we're good so they didn't own it they didn't have the papers to it john deere guy could come and be like hey hey i'll take that of course the next year they'd be all they'd be going to get makitas or whatever the fuck or mckendra or whatever a new holland or something yeah and but but they don't of course because the amish are big business for them because every amish guy doesn't want to be plowing with a mule anymore it's the 21st century i thought that was pretty nonsensical are amish people do they do that because they think god is telling them to or is that just their own way of life that they're kind of like yeah but this this part sucks I'm not doing that

it depends on the community right because Mennonites are sort of a branch off and they their their rules are very relaxed like they usually just you can you can really only tell sometimes by the way they dress that that some that they're actually Mennonites that the the hair bonnets that the ladies wear especially are kind of a giveaway. They're dressed, and I think they only drive black cars. The cars are kind of simple. They wouldn't have a black Maserati or anything. They're like cheating

or Amish that at least are acknowledging like, yeah, we're kind of cheating here. Yeah. I don't know. It's one of those things where like they're following the letter of the law in their eyes, and to them it's like, hey, it didn't say anything about paying most of a tractor off and using it. So I don't know. I agree with you. It's super silly when they find those loopholes because it seems like you're getting away from the heart of the proverb.

It seems like they should either change the heart of the culture to be like, you know what? You got to have track. Turns out tractors don't turn you into an immoral, awful person in the same way that the internet does. So tractors are cool now. We'll just get black John Deere's and rock with that or something. They should change the rules instead of subvert them. I like that. No agree I agree it's silly

do you guys have any nagging regrets in your life oh not buying bitcoin that's the big one oh I should have fucked that lady who was running the uh when I did this thing called the controller or whatever from Medal of Honor Warfighter

the little rally show where everybody came down and competed. I had the Special Forces guys, and then I had the YouTube gamers compete. The gamers taught the Special Forces guys to play video games. They did that in LA. The Special Forces guys taught the gamers to shoot guns,

and they competed doing that at my place. There was this thick asian girl who was like running the show for um activision she was very hot and she was absolutely down and i refused to go up to uh i said no essentially because i had a girlfriend at the time i regret it. Your biggest regret in life is not cheating on your girlfriend. It's just one of them. Just one of the biggest regrets.

I mean, it's top ten. She was thick. Did I not say that part? I'm telling you. You could probably go back in that. I got some footage somewhere. Maybe if you watch the videos, if you see a big old ass in the background somewhere that's that's her i need a multiverse to figure out mine right because what first springs to my head is not doing well in high school i think that i'm smart enough

to do better than a 1.98 gpa i know big brag and how much easier would my life have been if I had like, I don't know, gotten into a good college, just gone to day school and followed like the straight and narrow path instead of the whole night school work at the same time craziness. Now, the trouble is that maybe this is where Kyle is going. That night school whole crazy work schedule thing maybe set me up to do well afterwards. Go ahead, Kyle. what do you have in mind your biggest regret should be that you bought that fucking motorcycle that yes you bought that motorcycle that's what said the gpa was straight we all know that your college gpa doesn't matter once you're in a school you do a couple years of years and you transfer up. When you bought that motorcycle and your dad cut you off, that's what put everything in motion. Now, maybe you think

that those hardships molded you into the man that you became, the successful man that you became, but maybe it could have gone a different way. Maybe, maybe Woody with more time graduates early. Maybe Woody with more time can socialize and make these like business connections so that you don't go into your father's firm. You make your own firm, like with some tech company, right? That there,

there's so many, I bet there's an alternate reality out there where you didn't buy that fucking motorcycle and you became a heroin addict. But I bet there's also one where you didn't buy that motorcycle and now you're like part of spacex or something right that's the interesting thing about alternate realities oh which and that that woody's cool which i want you guys to like right he that woody's in mars at mars right now he's on mars one um i want you guys to finish it would he be the one ruining his stock prices on twitter with this neurotic take i want you guys to finish your regrets for sure

but don't let us forget to talk about elon musk's appearance on joe rogan today i have not watched that at all i have only watched about 40 minutes of it but but i got i i gleaned enough from that um to to have some opinions Let's hear about that. I think I've read it. All right, so he's got this thing. Let me get the exact name. This neural hookup thing he's doing. Elon Musk, neural.

Fuck that guy. What do they name this kid? That's bullying. Wait, what do they name his kid? A series of numbers and letters, right? How's it pronounced? He explains how it's pronounced on the joe rogan podcast it's really a placeholder name is the way he explained it for the most part part of his name is like a24 and i

think that was the precursor to the sr71 blackbird and joe's like why he's like because it's a cool plane it's just a placeholder name let it go okay he's got that kid's got enough money that nobody's gonna make fun of his of his weird fucking name. So he talked about his neural interface, which is one of his four main projects, right? He's got SpaceX. He's got Tesla, the boring company. And sort of his third priority out of the four, third most important, is this neural interface thing that he's coming up with. And the idea is they are going to cut out a piece of your skull about the size of a watch, you know, like a 32 millimeter fucking chunk. And they are going

to implant this device and it is going to connect directly to your brain with wires. It's going to have a battery in it. It's going to have Bluetooth connectivity. And he thinks that it has the potential, and just saying what he said, to do things like connect. And one of the things that seems plausible to me is they would put, it would be able to interface with micro machines that are in your muscles, right? Like if you've been paralyzed, if you've lost the use of this arm, then your brain can't send the signal to that arm because of some nerve damage. Well, this would subvert any sort of nerve connectivity and do it through, I'm guessing, Bluetooth or some other sort of wireless connectivity. So your brain sends the signal to the device.

It sends the signal to some devices that are in that muscle that fire electrical signals. And now you can move your arm again. He thinks that not only could you bring back the use of a limb to 100%, perhaps even better than 100%. He thinks that you could become superior using this kind of technology. He also talked about people who had had strokes and half their face is paralyzed, bringing that back. People who had epilepsy, there's already devices that do that for epilepsy, but they're external on the outside of the skull. And then the wires go in and they give you a little electric jolt from the way I understand it to stop the epileptic, epileptic seizure. He said that anything that's wrong with the brain, obviously not things like

cancer, but, but, you know, misfiring of the brain, non-connectivity, things like the optical nerve in your eye not working anymore. He could fix with this device by, by connect, by forging new connections using this device to the organ that is not getting controlled by the brain currently. Now the brain can control the device which would then connect control the organ or the nerve fire the nerves correctly or he may look he promises a lot but it's not often that he completely falls flat with his promises the problem with elon musk i have is along those lines he is 97 percent full of shit right like this point, he's supposed to replace taxis with self-driving cars. He said it was a year away. Not that long. Like,

15 months ago. It is nowhere near a year away from even now. Right? Boogie, in his whole drama, they told him, look, you buy this car, this car's gonna make you money. It's gonna go to New York or something. Drive fucking people around. Well, that's a real thing. This car, it's not a car's going to make you money. It's going to go to New York or something, drive fucking people around. Well, that's a real thing. It's not a real

thing. It doesn't happen. It's not even close to happening. These cars don't pick up passengers and create this wild taxi service. 97% of what he says, that number is bullshit, just like he is, doesn't actually happen. He just says shit like, oh, this is an easy problem.

You are a perennial Elon Musk hater. I'm also an Elon Musk lover. I feel like he is not afraid to aim high, and I think that's neat. You're the racist who says, but I like their music. Well played, Kyle. very apropos i like hey i love fried chicken all right i'm not all racist some of the shit they do it's all right but 97 of it you know what i'm saying i just I hear that he's going to build some device that interfaces with your brain and he's going to solve Alzheimer's or paralysis or what have you,

I think, uh-uh. No, he won't. Betting against him is so easy. You win all the time. His whole SpaceX thing. He says I'm going to colonize Mars. What he actually does is have a rocket that lands and look rockets that land are kind of cool i can give you that and they're required to do the mars mission yeah we're not going to mars by 2030 under spacex

you've heard it here first how much you want to bet? $5. Fuck it. $6. I thought we did $500. $5. Appreciation alone, I thought $5. By the time we get to 2035, $500 is going to be like $350 or something. What a baller over here. Stop asking like I'm not going deep on this.

We'll be in the middle of the biggest depression in the history. For this fucking bed. Yeah, $6 I'll put on something like that. Yeah, we're not... He's not going to Mars by 2030 with a person. I think he'll put a man on Mars by

2030. A man on Mars. Just one guy? Or a woman. Oh, please. $7 on Mars. Just one guy. Or a woman. Oh, please. $7 on that horse shit. I think it's likely that the first Mars mission will be bi-gender. You think so? So they can fucking make new Martians?

No, because I think that the key to a successful space program is public support. I think that's the biggest key to it, especially if we're talking about a government space industry, which is not exactly what we're doing with SpaceX, but I think that they could get government funding if it's wildly successful and

there are people who actually care. The reason we stopped going to the moon is because people stopped fucking watching us go to the moon. Yeah. Well, I mean, what else are you going to do up there? People would watch go to the moon. We haven't been there in a long time. Well, they might watch us go today, but

just go back to Apollo 13, where the networks didn't even carry the broadcast from the module. I wasn't alive back then, but I'm just talking about the movie Apollo 13. Right, right. I do know what you're talking about. They expected to get Buzz Aldrin coverage,

and they're all like, no one's watching? But were they going to the moon? Am I crazy? Yeah, they were going to the moon, and no one told them that the country wasn't watching. It was just their families at mission control watching the feed there. They thought they were speaking to America. So they're like, yep, this is this and that, and this and this is

that. And that was by 13, and there were several more missions after that. We were just talking about Elon Musk mostly. He was on JRE today, and he promised to create a device that interfaces with your brain implanted in your skull and solve paralysis amongst a bunch of other things sign me up yeah i want one i would absolutely get one i want to get a preventative paralysis measure. So in case I'm ever paralyzed, it's just like one strike. The problem about that, Taylor, is they're going to have to use two of Elon Musk's companies just to make it happen. They're going to need the neural interface and the boring company.

Just to get in there and get it. There's no fucking way. Dude, I need an Alzheimer's solution. Every time I forget the name of freaking Black Knight or White Knight on reserve, I'm like, is Alzheimer's setting in? I'm getting old. It's like in Armageddon when it was easier to teach oil drillers how to go to space than it was to teach astronauts how to oil drill.

They're going to have to call in a team of roughnecks to fucking... I'm just sitting there just head in a vice drilling down through my thick ass we need a good Michael Bay movie again no we don't what was his last good movie uh yeah I'll let somebody else answer that one

I know a lot about movies but they're not good movies but they're enjoyable he made Transformers, Bad Boys, Armageddon, Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbor. He made Bad Boys for life. He didn't make Bad Boys for life. He wasn't on Bad Boys for life.

I've successfully offloaded my fact-checking duties and I'm so happy. He made Woody's favorite movie, The Purge. The first Purge. Yeah, Elon Musk movies are are like i don't know i need like i need like the rock i need fucking all right the rock i'll give you the pearl harbor is bad oh it's horrible dude it's kind of offensive that wasn't offensive i haven't seen it I don't know dude like to make a fucking

Sappy love story about a tragedy Like that right And the timing of it was right When all the people that survived that are probably Dying pretty soon hey before we go Ben Affleck's fucking this chick But this other dude wants to fuck her So that's a story

And fuck you I don't know We're gonna do the do little raid but first we got to have Ben Affleck get cucked first before we do the do little raid on Tokyo do you guys know about Pain and Gain I know about the movie with Mark Wahlberg and The Rock I think

true story this is how it worked out what's his name who we just mentioned Michael Bay Michael Bay goes to the families this all worked out. What's his name? Who just mentioned whatever. Michael Bay. Michael, Michael Bay goes to the families. It's like,

Hey, listen, I think it's time that we made a movie about the situation. And they're like, dude, you made transformers. No, I don't want to make a movie about this. He said,

no, it's going to be great. You'll get some residuals, blah, blah. And they're like, no, he's like, well, fuck you. I be great. You'll get some residuals, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, no. He's like, well, fuck you.

I'm going to make it into a dark comedy with fucking Mark Wahlberg and The Rock. Dark comedy with The Rock? Yeah. That's a real story. That was a real story. Yeah, I know. Imagine you're like, do you want some shit? shit they're like you know what dude uh kyle we're gonna make a movie about your life you're like i really don't want you guys to deal with

that like come on they're like oh we're gonna fucking make it a slapstick comedy with um i don't know fucking ben stiller you know i'm reading i'm reading the script i I'm like, I shit myself on page two! Yeah. Page two! Ben Stiller. I'm down. I'd be okay with Ben Stiller. Actually, I got to talk to Ben Stiller a few times. He's a really nice guy. Really? Yeah. He was a fan of the videos and he was really intrigued

because like... His people got in touch with Kitty and then they set up this phone call uh between me and ben stiller where he was just asking what my deal was like you know and like that circles back to the access thing that i was trying to explain with drake and ninja right like no ninja didn't help out drake maybe helped him win some games and that's it. But like when you're Ben Stiller and you like FPS Russia videos, it can be like, you know what, guys?

Make that happen. Get him on the phone for me. Yeah, it was super helpful too because his production company, he has his own production company called, I believe, Red Hour Productions. And so he made them available for us. You know, you should have done.

You should have been like, is Owen there? Is Owen Wilson there? Can I talk to him? I think Owen Wilson just had gone through for us um you know you should have done you should have been like is owen there is owen wilson there can i talk to him i think owen wilson just had gone through his suicide attempt so that probably wouldn't have been a good idea but i'm a huge fan of owen wilson so what kind of stuff was he asking you just for example like uh he was asking uh if i was actually russian uh he was asking who was writing my jokes he was asking um why i was doing this how i got the guns that sort of thing where i actually was

um so so that was all really flattering um especially when somehow he thought that i that i had a writer um uh so so it was really cool to talk to him i got i went out to la a couple times to his uh production. He was not there, but I met with his team of people and then they got me in touch with a sister company and turned us on to a lot of big money deals.

That's awesome. There was a few movies that I did videos for. There was one where it was about Navy Seals. I don't even remember the name of it, but that was a huge payday. And I'm pretty sure that was because of the connection that Kitty had made with Ben Stiller that led to the Red Hour Productions,

that led to the company that produced whatever that movie was. It was about Navy SEALs doing stuff. And then I made a video about Navy SEAL weapons or something like that. I don't really remember. But basically, you just made... I thought for a second you were talking about Navy SEAL weapons or something like that. I don't really remember. But basically, you just made... I thought for a second you were talking about helping coordinate a gun stunt,

but you mean making the video and then saying, Also, my friends, check out Navy SEAL in theaters May 7th, 2014. Oh, no. I literally played clips from the movie that hadn't been released yet in the video. I'm going to throw you back right now.

Do you guys remember Gorilla Ads? Gorilla Ads? No. That was a full screen thing where they send you a movie clip and you got to introduce the movie and put the clip but you'd get a $50 CPM. Ah.

Was that the one with that Yowl Sky or something? Do you remember that? I remember that y'all sky or something do you remember that i remember that blast in the past everybody's like i'm going over to y'all and i'm like have fun i guess i wasn't part of y'all but i somehow was part of their ad network or something for like getting a cpm on top of mine and they paid out based on your views. So the way it worked was they had this budget, and I'll call it four grand or something. And then whoever got the views first would get paid until it hit their budget and it would stop.

And I wasn't part of Yowsh, but I was part of the network to fill that inventory. And they kicked me out after two ads because I was getting a lot of views at the time i'd make i would get like 200 000 views you'd like favorite and make an autoplay when anybody no it wasn't powerful enough to do that too much but i i get 200 000 views a video and i'd upload two videos a day so i would just suck up their revenue and then no one else would make any and they kicked me out so that was yeah in the video i did it was um they i got to go out there and watch the movie long before it came out in their screening room at the at their studio and then talk to the guy

who ran the studio and then they gave me like a ton of clips from the movie and the whole idea and the way that we integrated movies into my videos was like look i'm not going to do a fucking advertisement for you where i just stand there and talk about how good your movie is like like i have to integrate it into what i'm already going to be doing anyway and so we found like clips from the movie where they used a law rocket launcher i was like all right well let's go get a law rocket launcher and like we show a clip from the movie where a guy shoots a law rocket launcher blows up a car so i shoot a law rocket launcher and blow up a car and then we found a clip where a guy like does that sneaky thing where you're underwater and you slowly stand up no blink

and like shoot and what happened was like a sniper shoots a bad guy and some guy comes out of the water and catches his body so it doesn't make a splash and like takes him below well of course i don't have a team of navy seals so i have to do both jobs so like i fire the sniper shot and you see like the the bullet with a tracer hit a mannequin down the way and by a pond and the mannequin falls over and then we cut to me and frigid like 35 degree water coming up and catching it and then going down below the water that was that was the most awful thing we ever did That was awful. That was I So never been so cold in my life. You're like one take. Okay guys

That's exactly what it was. Yeah, like I get in the water I get soaking fucking wet and I'm looking at the my camera and I'm just like, all right, listen, I'm hyperventilating Listen, I only wanna I don't want to do this once. All right. So you stand there. I want you, I want you wide angle, wide angle. You do a slow pan and zoom down to my face. Get my eyes. We're doing this fucking once. Don't fuck this up. Go. And I go down below the water. And we, to their credit, we did only do it once. But the, the end of that video, the part where I sign off, normally I'm standing in a field. I'm in the truck with a heater on, shivering, like going,

that was fun, my friends. Be sure to check out the movie and have a nice day. This has been a... It's so fucking cold. Russians don't get cold. This is falling apart. I had to pretend like I wasn't cold. That was part of it. I think somebody behind the camera even said that Russians don't get cold. And I'm like, fuck you.

Fuck you. You know it's an act. Yeah, that was nonsense. He's back there. He's like, these fucking mittens are making my hands warm. Damn. I was wearing these like ATAC pants. They were like some new pant that just had been introduced to the arms forces or something like that. I don't know how I had gotten them.

Some contractor had sent them to me. But they hold water. So as I'm getting out, my pants are full of water up to my knees. And it's just, that was the worst day ever. I hated that. I hated that. the worst day ever. I hated that. I hated that. It was worth it. I hated that.

Yeah, real well. But I hated that. Topic? I would do that. Yeah, yeah. We can change something else. Hey, I have a question from the Patreons. I know Kyle dislikes the animal fighting topic,

but because of the show, I have an ongoing argument with my friend. Do you think the mountain could kill a fully grown camel? My friends insist that he would, and I think that's crazy talk. Camel versus camel. Yeah, that's absolute crazy talk. Who here has fed a camel or been in a camel's presence? I've been to the zoo.

They're enormous. They make a horse look like a fucking bitch. A camel is two horses or something like that. Their hooves, like the bottom of their feet, are like this. Like small dinner plate size. They're not offensive animals. Bullshit. You've seen that clip of that camel grabbing that man and slinging him?

They might be defensive. Humans are not offensive animals. People underestimate the grasp that's the whole point of the prey mantis attack they grab things and then they bite their heads what would the mountain grab his neck the neck is above the mountain's head the mountain's very big and he can reach up and he would squeeze the neck at a level that most humans cannot it would start running about 30 miles an hour at that point you're winning me over actually i do think the camel would run even with the mountain on its neck almost unimpeded no wait i don't i'm saying that camel's gonna fuck him up they're too strong it could kill him if it had any inclination to do so

What is the weight Well what kind of camel What kinds of camels are there I only know of the one kind of camel That I met in Texas It's name was Sushi and she was a bad motherfucker And I felt that she could kill me anytime she wanted to But she was real sweet

And I fed her carrots I feel me anytime she wanted to, but she was real sweet, and I fed her carrots. I feel like a camel is just strong enough that even the mountain, who is incredibly strong, is just not even heavy enough to cause a camel that much trouble. No. The camel could run, and he would barely be able to hold on. Yeah, I think it would swing its head and bash him with his head, and it would be like getting hit by a fucking Volkswagen or something like that. He's a man. Some camel facts.

Okay. Camel facts. Camel. This should be a tentpole topic. More camel facts, please. Shoulder height is between six and seven and a half feet. That's shoulder. Shoulder height is between 6 and 7.5 feet.

That's shoulder. Head and body length is between 7.4 and, if you're a large male, 11.5 feet long. This would fuck up any person who's ever lived. 2,000 pounds. When you said those stats, I thought of Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future where Biff stands and he just gets taller and taller and taller. That's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, so to answer that AMA question, no, the mountain is one of the most powerful human beings who's ever lived. Average camel beats him to death if it wants to and he can't hurt

the average camel that doesn't want him to hurt it. Your friends are fucking retards and you can tell them we told them. We know animal fights. We are animal fight

experts. We've put in the hours. We've done the research. We've got the tools. We've got the talent. We know what we're doing here. But yeah. While you were gone, a guy asked if we had any nagging regrets in our life.

Wade, you got anything good? Regrets? That's also an AMA question, by the way. If you'd like to ask an AMA question, we get to as many as we can every month. $10. You also get access to early PKN. Get it right hot off the presses. We're talking like 20 minutes

after we're done with this show, PKA. It's right up and you get it right hot off the presses we're talking like 20 minutes after we're done with this show pka it's right up and you get it and pkn same thing you get it as soon as it's up rather than uh several days behind i know this is gonna sound so cliche but i think my fucking life story is pretty fucking cool and i really wouldn't want to change it so no no regrets wow my journey's been pretty fucking gnarly so i really wouldn't i i don't want to put any editor notes on that so carry on you wayward star right yeah no comc's make for poor sailors oh i like that damn did you make that up? No, that's a cliche. I know. You know, 601... I try to get as many...

This is one I can answer super quickly from the AMAs. This guy says he's heard me mention the show Americans, and he wants to know... Essentially, he wants to know how I liked it. Never seen it before. I'm aware of its existence existence and some general plot points. Don't know if it's good or bad. I assume it's pretty good.

I'll get to it someday. He says definitely his top five. Also, did anyone finish Better Call Saul season five and recently wrap up? Haven't started it. Plan to. It's definitely. I'm too busy with 60 Days In. I'm intrigued.

It's fucking fun. My pirated website stops showing. So I'm like busy with 60 days in I'm intrigued It's fucking fun My pirated website Stops showing so I'm like two episodes left Shit Kyle I'll pick out another question Can you do an ad Yes I can I thought everyone about the goat

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I bought some Jordan 3s off GOAT, and the next day I got a notification from them saying that it didn't pass their test as far as legitimacy. Yeah. And then they gave me a discount and gave me notification and first bids when the next pair that i wanted came up nice oh that's that makes me feel better and you would have never known right i would yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't know see that's what you like to see like like a company with that kind of integrity

right you know they could have just let you go your own way and the main the main part of the service is making sure that you actually get the shoe that you're getting because so many people fucking make fake jordans and fake fucking adidas and stuff like that yeah for non-sneaker heads like there's a it's almost competitive to buy them you go to the store and they say they have them but they really don't like it it's hard to get them they literally they literally um when i eventually got them it took a couple weeks but when those got released i basically got first dibs on so yeah that's awesome talking of speaking of things being sold out i read this article online that there was since the covid thing has been going on there's been a huge rush on home gym equipment and and everything was sold out.

And I was like, well, that can't be true. That can't be true. It's a huge market. Some of this stuff is like weights, for example. They must make millions of them. Just have them in stockpiles. Maybe your second choice is in stock. Find a set of 25-pound dumbbells

for less than $150 right now and I'll suck your cock. Amazon is... Challenge accepted, Kyle. I've always felt like weights being delivered seems counterproductive because they're literally supposed to be heavy. So the shipping costs alone is probably

what the weights are worth. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad it wasn't bad and i don't know like it shouldn't cost that much more to ship weights to me than it does dicks like they've kind of got that worked out i have a home gym and i've got a bunch of uh i've got the weights for the barbell but i also have a pretty complete set of dumbbells the hand ones people don't lift and uh uh yeah i found the prices to be affordable it wasn't so bad and I'm glad I have them. But like you said, I guess you're right. I mean, you've looked into it.

It's that hard to get them to find them even on Amazon. Yeah, if you Google like dumbbells sold out, you'll find many articles like discussing this because everybody's like, I couldn't believe it. They really are. There are no dumbbells to be had. And I started looking on Amazon because that's my first go-to, right? They've got everything.

The only weights they have are these dumbbells that you pour water in. Right? Are you looking to – I'm just curious. You mentioned dumbbells. Do you want a full set? Like I have it. It takes a lot of space. Oh, I don't want weights at all.

I just saw the article about home fitness stuff being sold out. So you haven't actually went on Amazon and looked up dumbbells? No, I don't want weights at all. I just saw the article about home fitness stuff being sold out So yeah, she went on Amazon looked up dumbbells No I have because I was like I saw the article and I was interested that that I Wanted to see how prevalent it was the lack of weight of weights in the world because it just seemed like dumbbells like There should be billions of them or something. They should just be piled up in a warehouse somewhere But no, they're all gone. A business should be selling their stock out or something. There's none to be had, apparently. I don't know.

Gym sale. I've got a ton. I've got everything. I've got full bench press and squat rack and 300 pounds of plates and every dumbbell that exists. I don't know. Dumb dumbbells don't go bad right no they don't so

like i'm sure there's plenty of people that buy dumbbells and use them once and then go back to fucking binge watching the office so like i think the thing is that everybody wants them right now because everybody's locked down and they're trying and they're trying to stay fit or taking it or trying to take advantage of their time at home or whatever. I bet if you went on Craigslist, it's hard to find them or they're overpriced or something. Someone asked, like, I'm not getting the exact question, but they asked how your quarantine's going.

My observation has been more people are walking around my house. So I talked about this before. My house, if you were to walk around my neighborhood, you might come visit around my yard so i said i talked about this before like my house if you were to walk around my neighborhood you might come visit like around my yard and walk there because it's a it's almost like a park and uh dude we have so every time i look outside there's like three four families pushing strollers pulling children in uh little radio flyer wagons and and stuff like that it's kind of wholesome like it it's i like seeing them maybe you know just like happy families doing their thing i feel like people have replaced their ugly outdoor time

like commuting to work with some happy outdoor time like yeah i've seen the same thing in my neighborhood um i was on my patio yesterday neighbors out there throwing the football around so you know i wanted to go throw it with them but it seems like a real touchy-feely thing. You're grabbing that ball and throwing it at them. I don't know if they're clean. I don't know if I'm clean. But they're out there throwing the football. And then in my front yard, I look across and my neighbor over there,

he's out there with his 14-year-old son or something throwing the baseball. Maybe use the gloves. Stay hygienic. He probably gets son or something throwing the baseball. Maybe use the gloves. Stay hygienic. It probably gets a better grip on the football. Maybe so. Vic always wore a glove. Are you good at throwing a football, Kyle? I bet you are.

I'm fair at it. I don't throw a perfect spiral, and I certainly don't throw any bullets, but I can arc it up, and it barely wobbles. I don't exaggerate. I could throw it 25 wobbles. And I don't exaggerate. I could throw it 25 yards for sure. You know, like, like,

I don't know. I haven't thrown one in years. Like, like I'm not, I can't throw, I'm not throwing the full length of the field or anything. I'm not a fucking quarterback or anything like that, but I've got decent arm strength.

Well, you, uh, you see those mountains over there. Well, you're talking about uncle Rico. I can't throw a football for shit so no those are the mountains and i gotta throw a football over the mountains

i'm uh i bought a coach you put me in okay we to one state no doubt in my mind no doubt i bought a football a couple months ago i was gonna throw it with colin teach him how to throw a football and learn myself because i'm below average um it's not that i've never thrown i played touch and stuff as a kid but i never played organized ball and i'm worse than average so um i watched some videos and i got some tips on which ball to buy like i went to twitter back and forth and and there were a lot of uh probably pka fans who were helpful and encouraging but then when i went to throw it with colin that elbow injury i had it was like the perfect motion to hurt it so i took a break from it it took days to recover like it was it was a big deal it wasn't a good idea now hear me out here okay if you've never thrown a football

i've always thought this if you've never thrown a football or if you've never played basketball why not just make yourself a lefty to be more effective? Oh, that don't work. That doesn't work? No, you don't have the same sort of muscle memory and dexterity and control. It's like doing anything else left-handed, right? Like write your name left-handed, something you're great at. You're just going to be like drawing these straight.

I feel like you're skipping over his point. If you're wrong, you've. I'm talking about a new... You've got nothing, right? Yeah, nothing. Exactly. I've heard people say this. If your kid's going to be a pitcher, right, and he's six years old or something, he sucks at throwing in the first place, put that ball in his left hand.

Yeah, that's like one of those fucking stage parents that's got their kids in... That's bizarre if you're making your kid a lefty at six years old this is my story okay okay don't you think so i was born left-handed okay born left-handed when i was in daycare fucking teachers said no you don't do that you do it with this hand and i started doing the left hand like no you do it with this hand they disciplined me to basically use the cranes and shit with my right hand. So I basically forced myself to be a right hand, and I've never had good handwriting.

And I think that's the reason why. It definitely is. Because I've talked to other people that were born left-handed but were forced right-handed, and none of them have good handwriting. I feel like that bolsters Kyle's argument. Yeah, you can be trained. You can definitely train yourself to do things left-handed. It takes a while, though.

It takes, I would say, to become as good as you are with your right, it would probably take more than a year of daily practice. I could throw left-handed. I can throw a baseball left-handed well enough to play catch, but I can't pitch left-handed. I can't throw a hard left-handed. I can't throw a baseball left-handed well enough to play catch, but I can't pitch left-handed. I can't throw a hard left-handed. I can't throw a curve left-handed. Dude, if I tried to throw a baseball left-handed,

I would throw the way girls do, where it's like you're trying to... Yeah. That fluid movement that you're used to with your right arm just isn't there. You lose some of it, for sure. I lose all of it. Doing anything left-handed is hard. I think, although boxing left-handed always seemed

almost right for whatever reason. When we would box, I would switch stances a lot. It just seemed like I could snap my right as a jab much better than I could. I think it was more that we were mostly jabbing

and not trying to knock each other out. My right jab was much better than my left jab. Maybe that's why I was better. I had the same thing. My right jab is a little better, but then my left cross is so garbage, I'm pretty much a one-handed fighter. We were just messing around in the yard with some 16-ounce gloves and mouthpieces. We try not to throw too many crosses and straights anyway you know like the last time i boxed with scott we both connected with right

fucking like like hooks or crosses or whatever and decked each other and and we were both like all right that's fuck what you got xbox right yes yeah shit sucks it's been mario i had a headache for a fucking hour it's not can you guys do anything ambidextrously i can't it's funny you mentioned that um so when i was young i learned to masturbate with the magazine in one hand and the dick in the other and then i broke my arm and i had to flip so now i am well i was 17 when i broke that arm what am i gonna not masturbate no same exact story as woody um i burnt all this yeah yeah i burnt all the skin off the back of my right hand uh lighting a balloon full of acetylene gas and uh i had to go to the burn unit get all the skin removed and then they put this like a glove on and then they put my then

they bandaged my hand up like big time and then put it in a sling i got pretty good with old lefty over the next few weeks it it just you just learn to do it real quick where there's a when there's a need there's a way right necessity is the mother of invention. Necessity is the mother of invention. What's the other cliche? Where there's a will, there's a way. Thank you. There's a million of those. So yeah, I could definitely masturbate left-handed.

I could shoot left-handed. That's not a problem at all. I can make layups in basketball left-handed, but that's about it. Yeah, I can shoot hockey pucks right or left-handed. I'm better right, but I can dohanded, but that's about it. Yeah, I can shoot hockey pucks right or left-handed. I'm better right, but I can do both, and that's it. Oh, don't goalies play backwards

from their natural? Yeah, like if you're a right-handed goalie, which I was, you learn to shoot left-handed, and that's the only reason I can shoot left-handed. Quick hockey question. Quick hockey question. Why can't you just get a fucking morbid little beast dude that just takes up all the space so this is this is an oft asked question of people who don't watch the sport

so it's the net the nets are bigger than you think they're six feet wide uh by four and a half feet tall four feet four and a half feet and so you only need to be six feet tall and four feet wide is what you're telling me but who's four feet so there's there's there's no way to get someone big enough and that what they literally used to do like an olden time hockey was like well yeah the worst skater hop in there check and it was like and then over time they realized like oh like if we get a guy who knows what he's doing in there we're gonna be way better than if we just put the worst fattest guy in there there. Because like you put a fat, put the fattest man on earth. You know, that guy who got to get like taken out of his, uh, that like Saudi Prince or

whatever, like he's dead now, but like years ago he looked like melted ice cream on a pallet and it was just, they lifted him out and put him on like a flatbed truck and then wheeled him through. And he was like sitting there in his disgusting job of the hot body, waving feebly at the masses around him. You take that guy and you put him in net like even if there's only like a eight by eight inch spot in the top two corners of the net nhl players are hitting that 10 times out of 10 nine and a half you know what

i always hated taylor they always said the hot the goalie was the best skater on the team oh fuck you no no look look i'm not saying that the goalie's not stable on his feet and i guess that a particular kind of jumping back and forcing the left winger on the other team played in the ahl last year he's the best skater on the team oh well that's see that's different like if you're playing a men's league it's like oh that's joe blow he played for the san jose barracudas they're the sharks minor league team like yeah that guy's gonna be the best skater but if you got a bunch of double a players together it's not unlikely that the best like skater as far as backwards and like quick changes in direction is going to be the

goalie just because that's what i just always thought that like i bet the fastest skater is never the goalie the oh never the goalie for fastest because goalies have flat blades and so they have to push laterally as opposed to – Even if you put them in other – Maybe this is a terrible topic, but I always thought it was a little bit pat on the head condescending to say the goalie is the best skater. It was like, look, we appreciate everything he does. He might be the bravest. If I'm watching NHL at home, why can't they just superimpose the puck hella big

so I know what the puck is going on? Oh, they used to. Don't you remember what Fox used to do do this thing where the puck was bright yellow and you'd see it glowing when they played they did that to try to get more fans in because like the casual fan couldn't follow the action if you didn't highlight the puck and look i'm not i'm i'm below a casual fan but i can follow the goddamn puck like just look at the body language of the players. And the fans. Oh, those was great. Especially on, like, a slap shot.

It was like they were, it was fucking an anime where they were just, ooh, a duke. A duke behind the fucking puck. You know what fucks me up is that when I watch NFL football, I always forget that the players can't see the the markers and the goal line stuff like as big bright orange like lines i can see it because i'm sitting at home but yeah well that'd be kind of cool if they could shoot that across the thing on the field like a little laser yeah they did the 90s and there's a clip of it right there like i don't know how they did it was there some guy up in the control booth being like stressing out every time there's going to be a shot and like and there's a clip of it right there. I don't know how they did it. Was there some guy up in the control booth being like stressing out every time there was going to be a shot and like, and there! I can't show it or the fans hockey footage

gets us in trouble. Taylor, does your shirt say smooth as Tennessee whiskey? Smooth as... Yeah. Do you know that song? At Kohl's in the Super Soft t-shirt section, $7.

Yeah, it's a country music song. You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. A substantial portion of my wardrobe costs less than $10 an item. I like where you're coming from. Yeah, I'll go to Kohl's and buy something. Some company has something called Super Soft shirts, which is like

one of the... Is it Modal? Like the MeUndies material? No, it's not that. It's not Modal. It's some other... It's just soft like cotton. And they're all cheap as shit. So I'll just load up on like nine of those at a time. And then wear them until

they fall apart because they are very shoddily made. Oh, yeah. I'm not sure I'm saving money, but I am responsible for clothing being all short to vietnam that was me my bad you know you're not you know i've always wanted i've always okay so let's say the lakers and the celtics okay like are playing the nba championship and the lakers lose they've already made those t-shirts that say Lakers World Champions. I want one of those shirts. Me too.

Where'd you get that from? Ghana. I got it in Ghana. Oh, and then you would name the company TheMandelaEffect.com and they would only have alternate reality fucking products. Stuff that

different presidential candidates, like Hillary 2020, stuff like that. Oh, that'd be cool. Be something like, I'm glad I picked... Don't steal my idea! Too late. It's not Woody's. Trademark 2020. Blade, how well did you read that book? We need to get this on the books.

Trademark book. I came up with a brilliant idea The other day Last night actually I was looking for a very old Screenshot on my phone I'm an iPhone guy So I have everything back Until 2008

And as I was scrolling I found a batch of nudes that this girl had sent me over time right nice and i'm like 18 now she was over 18 then too but i looked at it and i was like holy shit that's a 09 jessica like new should be trading card because like i have i have some old batch of nudes and i have some new nudes and so to be able to be like oh shit i got i got a 05 kardashian what do you you know what i mean like to be able to like trade nudes like that and just the idea of of yelling out the, like the year, and then whenever this girl happens to send me her boobs. All right, I like the t-shirt idea, though. What would happen if you reached out to Jessica?

Like, hey, you know what? I haven't talked to you for 11 years, but I have this nude of you on my phone for ages. Look at you. Would she be like looking back to a younger day? Can we do a before and after? I don't know. I don't have any nudes out there.

So I just finished being Woody. Shit, no, that's not true. I have the receipts. Incredibly inappropriate. Yeah, Woody, your OnlyFans is a ripoff. incredibly inappropriate yeah what are your only fans is a ripoff uh yeah like if you were to grab some old lifeguard for like look what do i have you from 1992 i'd be like fuck awesome i want more 92 photos of me that would be neat yeah i'm not i'm 92 uh rookie card from Woody. Right?

The rookie cards are all their first year in college. Paris Hilton rookie, dude. Oh, no way. Bro, is that a 93 Woody lifeguard pick? What? Blade, how's your quarantine going?

How's it been impacting you? It's been amazing. I love love it I just got a new girlfriend So it's the shit You're probably one of the few Out meeting new people in quarantine Yeah she Goes to work comes back we fucking Get to do all the boyfriend girlfriend shit and hang out

And it sucks Because I want to go on dates and shit I want to like Do all the fucking old fashioned shit. But at the same time, it's like, I literally get to fucking kick it with you for hours on end, just on the couch. This is awesome,

man. You're going to do 14 year old Woody dates, make brownies. That, that was my move. That was my move back when I couldn't go out, didn't have a car, didn't have a thing to do.

Get the girl over, make brownies. I told my wife about this recently she's like you've never made me brownies you met me post car yeah lately I've been making lots of

official Chex Mix what's that? have you ever had Chex Mix before? it's outstanding here's the thing most people don't like Chex Mix because that shit's outstanding. So you're just making your own? No, but here's the thing. Everyone, most people don't like Chex Mix because that shit in the bag sucks. But what you do is

you take nine cups, which is three, three, and three, of wheat, rice, and corn. You mix a fucking big-ass container of mixed nuts, like planters. And then in a bowl, you mix butter, onion powder, garlic salt,

and hella Worcestershire sauce. The Worcestershire sauce is the key. You fucking cook that little shit in the microwave, and then over the pan with all the checks and the nuts and stuff, you drizzle it over it, and you cook it for an hour. It's delicious. So it's just like kernels of corn you're talking about in there? Wait.

I don't think you know what Chex Mix is. I do. I thought you said you had corn, though. No. There was a corn. There's three flavors of Chex Mix. Yeah, there's three flavors of Chex Mix. And one of them is corn.

So they end up being like dark brown light brown and sort of yellow and the corn yeah i think that's what it is but the way that the butter and the worcestershire sauce soaks into if you're good soaks into all of the fucking pieces of of cereal it's amazing to be honest party mix next time i see blade in person i hope he brings checks mix i i got i I've had that at parties before where they do exactly that. It's really good. Now my thing is that a lot of people

put pretzels in that shit, and I feel the pretzels are just flavor sucks. It sucks all the moisture of the butter and the Worcestershire sauce out of it. So no pretzels and none of those little bagel bite things. It says put that in there,

but don't. Everything else, go to town. I trust your judgment. I just don't like... I like a soft pretzel that you can dip in the mustard or whatever. Spicy brown mustard or even like a cheese. But those little hard pretzel sticks, I'm like, dude, I fucking... mustard, whatever. Spicy brown mustard or even like a cheese. But like

those little hard pretzel sticks, I'm like, dude, I have more than $5 in the bank. Why are we eating this? And they make you thirsty. That reminds me. The more than $5 in the bank. So Blade, you were in Hawaii making content

and then something went wrong. There might have been a falling out. I don't have the story right, but you didn't have the money to get out of Hawaii. Tell me where I'm off on this. Nothing's right about that? That's not me. It might have been someone else.

Wait, you were never stuck in Hawaii? I just have this completely off? No, not at all. What a great place to be stuck. That was not my best topic idea of the night. It might have been DJ Pans. Because DJ Pans bought a one-way ticket but wasn't getting donations. That's what it was.

That's confidence. First off, the way it worked was this. Ice basically invited a bunch of us to Hawaii, and he was going to buy our tickets, but he was going to have a fucking epic stream where all of us basically, we couldn't stream. It was just him stream some ridiculous isolation stream

to recoup the money for the cost of fucking flying. Okay. Well, DJ Pants, who's a fucking psychopath i love you bro but you're nuts um he wanted to go to hawaii he's like we'll buy a ticket so this dude did a stream and the community got behind it it's like yeah this dude's a psychopath let's get him there and they raised enough money to buy a ticket to hawaii so his idea was when he got to Hawaii that he'd be able to stream enough to get a ticket back, and he didn't. So he was stuck in Hawaii.

Okay. So he just had to keep streaming until he got enough money to leave? I don't know how that worked out, but it was bad. It was bad. He was sleeping on the streets like bad. Fuck. Do homeless people ever enjoy the

adventure of their situation? I'm sure they do. Kyle acted like I was crazy. Blade backed me up. I don't know. Most homeless people have mental illness. Let's just get that out of the way quickly. Kyle, you're completely overlooking the cool ones.

There are also some homeless people that that choose to be home like they because of their mental illness okay there you go i guess but like well like well i say well enjoy the journey look at mark he's so adventurous he chooses to cut himself he loves it look at him go i think that with homeless people like like what are you're seeing it as an adventure and it'd be easy to see it as an adventure if you were like it was like camping and at any moment you're like this sucks i'm going home yeah it has an end date like camping does if it's exactly if it has an end date but if you're like saying indefinitely you're homeless what if you were homeless to pay off debt right and then that kind of has an ending but it's a soft one i know of

people not in real life but i've read of their story where they're like they're kind of deep in debt or maybe they just want to it's called fire what does fire stand for like financial independent retire early something like that and uh these guys will fast forward their ability to save by living in a tent. Right. So they have real jobs and they have a real shower at this campground, but their housing expenses are like five, $7 a day. Yeah.

I mean, I've heard, I've heard of people that literally have like full fledged, awesome jobs and they'll get a gym membership and sleep in the car and they don't have to have a house anymore i have like a couple friends that do that yeah i saw there's a really good video technically i'm homeless there's my stuff is in store mental illness there you go shut up my stuff is in storage and i'm living with this girl i'm offering to fucking take care of bills but like if i fucked

up if i if i like nothing's gonna make her kick me out but if i like really fucked up and she's like out i technically would be homeless so yeah do you guys remember aviator ppg yeah eric of course he has like six staff members for his company now that all live in vans. They're all over the airport. All plugging in. Guess he doesn't pay too well, huh? I don't know. It could be that or they could be like saving

tons of money. I don't know. All of them? I think the common denominator here is Eric. I didn't intend for this conversation to go down that road. You can be nice to Eric. I'm the bad guy. If you go there, there's vans with

extension cords plugging into the mothership, all just power in their microwaves and internet access and stuff like that. Eric watching that power meter turn, billing them. I feel like it's a fringe benefit of working there. need honestly you really break it down i need power i need a warmth and i need the ability to fucking uh shower you know

and an upload plan right you need to make contact shower is so important the shower is so important. I would rather have the, the hot shower ranks so high on necessities. It is beyond heat. It is beyond lights. It is way beyond any form of entertainment. The hot shower will make you like, if you've gone three days without a shower and then you get one, you feel like a fucking human being. Again,

the best part of prison was the shower. It was getting in that because especially our showers they had so much water pressure like more water pressure than i've got here at home it was just so refreshing to get in that thing get fucking clean as fuck get dried off put in my prison hair gel get nice and coiffed right prison hair gel demon in the clink it's aloe vera based. It's this green bottle of hair gel. And you've got to use like,

not like the hair gel I use. I use like a Nicholsworth and then like do one of these. And it's enough to like keep everything where I want it pretty stiffly. Do you guys enjoy being the second one to shower when your girl showers

and you walk in there and the heat and the fucking whatever botanical soaps and shit she did makes this fucking just amazing air make sense no i know what you mean yeah i like i like walking in second shower as long as they didn't fuck up and take all of it all the hot water but yeah walking into that wall of oh is that a of heat. I've never experienced that. I thought that was a movie cliche where people walk in like,

yeah, tuck all the hot water. The biggest upgrade you can make for your home, Taylor, is a larger hot water tank or a continuous hot water tank. I'm not talking about my house here. That was one of the perks when I bought the house. It had an enormous brand new hot water heater and so i have taken hour-long showers piping hot the whole time because sometimes like like and sometimes it's

not even like in the shower like i'll bring a chair into my bathroom and like just sit it in the middle of my master bathroom and let the whole area just steam up. And feel really nice. I like that. You know what I bought? My house. So we have different hot water heaters for different areas of the house. I think we have three of them. And the one that Hope uses is 80 gallons.

8-0. And she says she runs out of hot water. And I'm like, that's a you problem. I don't know how many hundreds of gallons you want me to supply you with for the shower but what is what is going on in there it's an enormous amount of water for a shower in fair she has really long red hair which i guess both long and red creates an extra washing problem and a drying problem does she say that does she use that as an excuse uh apparently it's been confirmed by other girls.

Liars! They're all in that cabal together. You can't trust them. Yeah, yeah. That's ginger gang shit. Have you guys ever had an amazing shower? Really, really great shower. Best shower I can remember having.

And you walk out of the shower, and then for whatever reason you fart. And I was like, that was then for whatever reason you fart and i was like that was all for nothing i kind of want to fart i think our digestive systems are a little bit more effective than yours is frankly so when i fart there's not a lot of mess no there's no no debris i'm saying like i just spent all this time making sure every body part is like squeaky clean smelling good the worst part is getting out

and having to take a shit in the shower and then it's like whoa this is some potent gas here that's what happens every time you fart in the shower first of all it's like usually you can handle your own farts better than other people's farts but like if you fart in the shower, first of all, the speed that it gets from your asshole to your nose is otherworldly.

Otherworldly how fast it is. Prove Dime Stein wrong again with that one. I want to talk about this, okay? Okay. Let's say. Deep dive. Okay. Woody, let's say I got you completely annihilated drunk, okay?

All right. Pretty shit-faced. Two beers. No, I'm talking about you're out of this world. You don't know what the fuck's going on. I'm with you. Yeah. Okay.

And the reason why I'm doing this is because then I'm going to feed you some sort of distinct food. Do you think that in the morning when you wake up and take that shit that you would be able to tell me what that food was without knowing what you actually had? No. No. Okay. I personally

think that you're I found out that the same the same material that's on your tongue and your lips is a lot is the same material that's on your asshole so I declare I believe that your asshole

has taste buds well that's just factually inaccurate maybe that's why people's assholes can burn if they eat spicy food there you. I've never had that, and I eat the spiciest. I've never really had that, but I believe that people get it. Kyle, you're coming off like a science denier. I just eat

the spiciest foods. Like, that curry I made last night had 15 Thai chili peppers in that bowl. It was on fire crazy. When I went to the bathroom this morning, there was no pain. I don't get that one.

I bought a, I was going to say a minute ago when we were talking about the hot showers though, I bought a sauna. Joe Rogan sold me. I bought a fucking sauna. Maybe explain to me what a sauna is because I picture a wooden room with the hot rocks. Nah, I got a cheap motherfucker sauna. I got a $300 personal sauna off of Amazon.com. What is that like?

So it's like a PVC structure. You put it with a like, it's like that material they use for like, if you're taking food. Is this a foldable sauna? No. Well, I mean, you could completely disassemble it. So it uses that like reflective metal material

that like heat bags use for like takeout orders. Like a space blanket almost. Yeah. But the thick stuff that's like double-sided. So that makes up the body of it. You put a chair down on the floor and it goes over the top of that. You sit in the chair and then this thing like zips up over you and only your head sticks out. And then you've got this thing this thing that makes steam i think

you plug it into the wall you fill it up with a gallon or two of water and it pumps crazy hot steam into the container that you're inside of what is it supposed to do for you just all right well like your muscles relax joe rogan has told me a lot about shock proteins okay and and i want some of those. I don't know. It looks like it, it looks like it'd be fun. Uh,

what are the, have you ever done, have you ever done the hygienic chamber thing? Um, I wanted to do that, but Taylor didn't think it was cool. It is amazing. It is.

I would do it. Dude, I would do it every morning if I had the kind of money to be able to have that in my house. Oh, are we talking about the, the, the, um um the one that freezes you super cold yeah like negative 170 yeah that's not what i was trying to get taylor to do i was trying to get taylor to do an isolation tank yeah yeah yeah it was like i paid this person to spend half an hour alone in the dark no no no first of all we were going to eat huge amounts of marijuana before we went

in there and my i was hoping we'd trip out while like in the isolation tank we ate huge amounts of marijuana before we did the escape room sure did and that sucked didn't escape we did not escape i remember that was like what was like a 50 minute challenge maybe like 23 minutes in like you and chiz and probably me were just like dude this isn't fun this sucks the lack of chili dogs in this activity is really getting me down i didn't know there wouldn't be snacks we did so i did a team building event for woody craft and one of the things we did was an escape room and i had a good time now i question if anyone else did i'll have to ask chiz how he felt about that day. I think that stuff would

be cool if you were coherent, but I wouldn't want to add the degree of an edible to it. I don't think we did edibles for that. I think we just smoked a ton. We did a few edibles on that trip I think, but mostly just I mostly smoked dabs.

I bought a big dag, a big ass bong. I'm not sure if I should say... Edibles have moved from the kitchen to the lab, right? And you can really know what you're getting in the doses. Have they become more beginner friendly? Oh, they're absolutely beginner friendly.

But I was never a beginner. I am amazing at making edibles. You guys have all seen Casino, right? Yeah. So you know the scene when he goes back in the kitchen beginner i am amazing at making edibles you guys have all you guys have seen casino right yeah yeah all right so you know the scene when he goes back in the kitchen he's like look this thing has hella blueberries that's how i feel can you say that again this has this and that i didn't hear everything this muffin has hella blueberries this muffin has almost none yeah and i feel like my feeling on edibles originally was that before they started doing it in the lab i feel like yeah maybe they didn't get

enough of the weed in this part and they left hella in this part like they didn't spread it out you know well that's not possible because so the way i don't know if i should go into how you make edibles i feel like let me cover it because i could be wrong you basically make pot butter and then cook with yeah butter right is that where you were headed in a high level yeah so well you don't use butter you want to use coconut oil because if it's like 100 fat and but butter butter doesn't hold as much thc as coconut oil will but um, um, but essentially, yeah. Um,

but, but the thing is the oil that you're introducing into the baking good is, is, is fully saturated with THC and there is no part of that oil that has less or more. And as long as you stir the cookies or the brownies or the muffins or whatever appropriately, then every every every

bite in that batch will have the same amount of like whatever it is gets in every bit of the cookie all over yeah but but but i've definitely made batches where like holy shit this is some powerful stuff and i've made batches where it's like do you feel anything no it's been it's been six hours and we don't feel anything this was was garbage. I've failed before, but after a while, I got really good at it. Here's the thing. An ounce of weed, I don't remember the numbers, but an ounce of weed would make enough butter for a

big tray of cupcakes, but then there'd be two to three tablespoons left over of butter. It's like, what do you do with two or three tablespoons of incredibly powerful weed butter? leftover of butter and it's like what do you do with two or three tablespoons of throw it on toast of incredibly powerful weed butter i have drank it i have warmed it up until it's liquid and i call it a butter shot i'll put it on ice cream see cream see it ruins it it tastes like shit

so you got to keep in mind this this stuff tastes like shit and it's green right this is just beginner here but i feel like I'm representing the beginners watching this show. That's why they make brownies out of it because they taste so good it can kind of overpower the pop. Yeah. Which is not tasty. Yeah. Brownies almost completely mask the flavor of it. But my thing has always been, and this is the same for alcohol and for weed.

has always been, and this is the same for alcohol and for weed. I'm not looking for some sort of, I want the delivery device to be as potent and straight to the point as possible. If I'm drinking, I'm not doing a little shot with you. I'm not doing a Jaeger bomb. I'm not making a martini or a mixed drink. I don't want your fucking beer. I'm going to take a fucking rocks glass and I'm going to fill it halfway or three quarters up with tequila. And I'm going to down the whole fucking thing. And I'm going to go from zero to drunk right fucking now. So with weed, I feel the same way. It's like, I don't want to eat two brownies that taste pretty bad. First of all, that's a lot of empty calories that I'm not even enjoying tons of sugar and shit. Second of all, I could just drink the butter right and i'll get high quicker because my body can process it more quickly break it down turn it into whatever that chemical it is

that uh that thc turns into when it gets processed by your liver but it's just the way to go but what i what i would end up doing most of the time is i would make rice uh and i would uh like a bag of yellow rice takes I think two or three tablespoons of butter, which is what I usually had left over. And I'd make a big bowl of rice. I call it space rice. And I'd eat that bowl of rice and I'd get so fucking high. I couldn't disagree with you more on the pot brownies. If you ever make pot brownies for me, please make it such that I have a good excuse to have four brownies and some milk.

Fair enough. Here's the thing, though. Once you get good and high... You just want brownies. You're going to get your brownies. Don't worry. The brownies are coming. All right? Bring me a couple joints and some brownies. That's what you do. And Woody's like, and hold the joints with extra brownies.

Whenever I'm free of my probation and we can go to a legal state uh we'll get you good and and fucking stoned to shit and we'll eat some regular i could just picture kyle like when we're all there we're all in colorado or whatever legal state hanging out kyle's making up the brownies and we all start to eat them when he's like like, all right, where's the regular batch? Oh, this is the regular batch. No, I would never do that to someone. I think that like dosing people,

drugging people is super fucked up, especially when it's something like, I honestly, when it's anything, I was going to say that like this, this drug or that drug is worse. Obviously anything that's actually dangerous for you, like with marijuana in particular because it lasts so long it's real fucked up to like dose somebody with like 40 milligrams or whatever when they're like a noob or 50 or 60 or 100 i can't imagine what 100 milligrams of thc does to somebody edible

does to somebody who's and has no somebody who has no tolerance whatsoever. No tolerance. Wouldn't they just vomit probably? Oh, they're going to vomit. Yeah. They'll be high for more than eight hours. They'll wake up high. They'll wake up the next day high. Will they remember it as a really traumatic experience or barely remember

it? It varies person to person, but the experiences that I've had with it and the people that I've seen, I remember it? It varies person to person, but the experiences that I've had with it and the people that I've seen are remembered as a traumatic experience the next day. One of the first times I made brownies, we had trimmings. Trimmings is when somebody who's growing a crop of marijuana,

they trim off the parts that are like worthless. Essentially. They have a very low THC content. Okay. Whereas the bud, the flower of it, like, like the center of that is where all the THC is really concentrated. That's the good stuff.

It's the part. It's what you think of when you see marijuana. It's the part that gets broken up and put into pipes and joints and ground up and all those good things. But the trimmings are like leaves and all kinds of junk that gets cut off. Not necessarily stems, but mostly just like little leaves that they trim away. Well, I had three pounds of trimmings.

So it's a shoebox or so full. So I just cooked those trimmings all down into one dose of oil and the oil wasn't green that is an unpredictable amount of THC God knows only God knows it's somewhere between lethal

and the worst night of your life and the oil wasn't green it's usually green it was black are you holding something up for us, Blade? It was black. No. It was black like crude oil.

And my girlfriend and I each ate a slice of that brownie. And we put it in like a pie plate type thing and made like a round brownie. And it was like a fudge brownie even. We each ate a slice. First time's edibles ever. Nothing happened for like an hour and a half. And I was like, fudge brownie even. We each ate a slice. First time's edibles ever. Nothing happened for like an hour and a half. And I was like, this is bullshit. I'm going to go have another slice.

Ate half of another slice. It kicked in 30 minutes later. And Trailer Park Boys became unwatchable. I did not know what episode I was watching anymore. I vomited after about three hours. And it was like that episode where cartman shits out his mouth because it was a fudge brownie coming out in a giant chunk out of just shitting out of my mouth so at this point were you an olympic level pot smoker or fairly low tolerance i was i was probably smoking every other day and like maybe one or two nights

a week i was getting real good and high and playing a lot of Skyrim. But not Olympic level, certainly. I would say like a three out of ten or something like that. You were on the leading edge of the bell curve. Yeah, I was a bronze medal pot smoker. And so this was a kick in the ass for me. My girlfriend, very similar pot experience. You know, she'd keep some at her place. She'd smoke a couple nights a week.

Mostly, though, just when people, like a social smoker, I would say. Like, yeah, if we're all getting together, let's smoke a little. That sort of thing. Her metabolism, much slower than mine. We had finished watching TV, gone up to bed, gotten in bed and gone to sleep. And I'm coming down. I'm getting better. She wakes up, down. I'm getting better. She wakes up, bolt upright in the bed. This has got to be four or five hours after we ate it. She's like, where am I? Where am I? And I'm like, you're at my house. You're at my house, baby. What's wrong? She's like, where do you live? And I'm like, I live in Gumlog. She's like, like starts crying that's so far from where i live and i'm like yeah yeah it's okay though because i'm here with you we're together right and she's

like clutching on to me like we're we're like the fucking titanic scene with with jack and kate by holding on to that fucking door and i'm just i'm just like baby it's okay it's okay she's like i'm so thirsty my mouth is just she does like and like her you can hear her mouth it's so dry like tacky i'm like all right i'll go get you some water real quick you want ice she's like don't leave me don't leave me she was freaking the fuck out when she woke up it would have been a good bit to be like who the hell are you how'd you get in here you get in here i'm calling the police oh god she just died just had a panic attack and died yeah you can you can

have some really bad episodes on that stuff it's it's it's no joke you've got to like work your way up and learn how it's going to affect your body and that stuff out in colorado and seattle is the way to do it. Cause you're Washington state because you're getting a measured dose. 10 milligrams means 10, 10 milligrams. It's. And those little bits of chocolate don't taste,

I mean, they don't taste like really good chocolate, but like you'll eat a little bite of like a, like crunch bar or whatever with, with 10 milligrams in it when you're out there. And it's like, it doesn't affect this to me. I would be like, that's iffy. That's got pot in it it's like, it doesn't fit this to me. I would be like,

that's iffy. That's got pot in it. But like, it doesn't taste bad. Yeah. It doesn't taste bad. You know, it does taste bad is,

uh, I, I bought a blue moon weed beer from a dispensary when I was there. And it was, it was more just a novelty thing. It was like, Oh, that's neat.

It's a beer with no alcohol and it's got five or 10 milligrams of weed. Not just not good. It's not good. So when you guys are out there, don't's neat. It's a beer with no alcohol, and it's got five or ten milligrams of weed. Not, just not good. Just not good. So when you guys are out there, don't buy that. That's a waste of money. So you said you had three pounds of trimmings. The first thing that popped into my head is that the police aren't sophisticated enough to know that trimmings are not the same thing as buds. That sounds like a legally problematic amount.

No, trimmings looks like trimmings looks like uh does it smell like pot though like so so here's the thing um it would have been the same amount of trouble that i got in regardless of the yeah it had been too much trouble for sure but it was one of those things where like my friend brought them over and i cooked them up right then and then we ate brownies you know i wasn't sitting around with that's another thing i've heard now this could be wrong because i'm no expert but i i've heard people get in trouble for owning massive amounts of pot because they yeah they weigh it the brownie right whereas the bread it should be something like equivalent right but they're like dude this is like nine pounds of pot yes that's i don't know what a

brownie yeah that's how they weigh it. And they'll also weigh the container a lot of times. Especially if it's in a... My wife makes brownies in a glass. Well, not in that case. I meant like the... So it varies state by state. If we're talking about state law.

But like with methamphetamine or cocaine, you can escalate a charge just because you use a certain kind of baggie. You can go from less than a gram to more than a gram. So a gram is a very small amount. A dollar bill weighs a gram. Okay. So it's easy to get.

Let's just say a gram is the... A Ziploc bag probably weighs three. At least. Right. So Zipl is probably weighs three at least right so like ziplock bags weighs three a sandwich bag yeah that's one which bag i didn't hear the words one uh sandwich bag weighs one i'm sorry yeah sandwich bag weighs one but the ziplock things with the little seal they're like three okay yeah and so that's why you'll see people put like cocaine that like uh wax paper that shit's super light but i've definitely seen like cop shows where this guy has a misdemeanor amount unless you weigh the

fucking baggie and now they've got to take him in because the baggie added a gram of weight or something like that now you got a gram and a half instead of half a gram of dope and he's like i i only i only paid for half a gram of dope but what you got a deal then it's like bullshit people who do enough pot in illegal areas because they get away with it for so long and they exist in a group of friends who also consider it like not a big deal can underestimate the risk that they're taking that's how i felt yeah can i can i say something dude i've been on 37 years old i was smoking weed since i was 16 and my weed smoking happiness about it hasn't changed like when we found out that weed was legal okay we're still gonna smoke okay okay when colorado passed and made shit legalized there were parades they were

fucking in washington when the shit passed there was no parades it might have made a five second news story we were just like okay we're still so just smoke like cool you know what i mean like no one at least up in like the Pacific Northwest. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. Blade flew to a PAX with a box of blunts rolled with weed in his shirt pocket through airport security. These aren't mine. Like,

I remember I met you outside of some building. I don't know where we the fuck we were, but we were on a sidewalk and you're just there with a fuck. He's like, you want to hit this blunt? I'm like, fuck yeah. How'd you get those here? How'd you get weed in a foreign city? And he's like, oh, I went through the airport with these.

I'm like, where? He's like, right here in my pocket. I could be the one who's wrong, but I feel like that's a huge risk. Maybe the benefit's not worth it. Like I just exist in a world where everyone agrees that weed's not a big deal until you bump into some law enforcement officer who's got a hard on for weed being a big deal. Yeah. And then you're. I mean, all right.

So this is my this. OK, I smoke swishers. OK, a swisher is when you buy a type of cigar take that out and put the pot in am i on target exactly exactly yes so when you buy swishers it comes in like i buy like a five pack right and then each on the inside there's five individually wrapped swish so what i do is i wrap it roll one and then put the shit back in, and then put it so it looks like an unopened Swisher.

Okay. Even if a fucking cop looks at it, it looks like I just have a bag of Swishers. Like, I just boxed Swishers. But Swishers smell like cherries, and pot smells like pot.

No? Yeah, well, if they take a good whiff of it, they're gonna know. Yeah, if they really whiff it but like i personally think that the smell of swisher um compact non-burnt weed in it is gonna just smell i think the swisher smell overpowers the weed okay to a big extent it does uh not to a dog though last time i flew out of denver they had a fucking dog going person to person.

I had been smoking so much weed. I had had weed in those pants an hour before. Copious amounts of weed. I was high in that line. You didn't have weed on you. No, I didn't have any weed on me.

I'd had it all over me. If I went... it was weed. Because I was just, I was stoned standing there. Especially if you break it up with your fingers. Then your fingernail is definitely. Yeah, fingers are tacky. The dogs would, I feel like potentially you're okay. The dogs would get excited.

They would search you. He didn't smell shit, so I guess so. But if he did, you would be in trouble for having smoked in colorado previously no but they'd have pulled me out of the fucking line and they'd have they'd have like searched me and pulled all my shit out and it'd be a whole stressful thing you know it might make me late for my flight might miss my flight i've only missed one flight ever and it sucks so much it does yeah yeah i had it for explosives i used to get pulled out all the time yeah that was one of the scariest moments ever at the airport was like having just been up there in washington state and oregon like literally messing around with

high explosive like not just messing around with it like we hit a detonator but like forming c4 like play-doh with my bare hands in the pants i was wearing and at one point it was on my hands and i smeared it onto my pants right not so much so you could see it but it was like to get the stickiness off my hands i had been playing with debt cord tnt c4 tons of ammonium nitrate and i i was wearing the exact same pants and they pulled the guy right in front of me for the chemical swab. And I was just like, fuck, let's keep going.

Let me, let me, let me. I probably told it before, but like I have camera equipment that I kept in like a Pelican case. And it's so dense in there that they almost always open it up and look at it. Cause there's all these wires and lenses and shit that it captures the interest of the screeners when it goes through the x-ray so then they swab it

and it comes back positive for explosives because they've been around explosives so then they question you and i just say i've been around explosives i do you know sometimes i feel it was the arkansas thing we did yeah and um there's like explosive dust probably ammonium nitrate i don't know all over like the air and it coated all my stuff and uh usually they just talk to me briefly they pull everything out i have it in there just right so it's a pain to put it back and uh and that's all that happens but it can delay you it can take 15 minutes or so yeah and i was gonna i don't know what you flagged for we did we did use ammonium nitrate and C4 on that trip along with the, um, or a debt court ammonium nitrate and C4 on the trip

that you're referring to. I have no idea what you got flagged for, but, but like I'd have flagged for everything. If they chemical tested my hands, like, like it would have looked real bad. I had, I already had my phone pulled up to one of my videos. Like, like I had it ready to play in case they tested me. So I could be like, look, I make this. They're like, a Russian, huh? Yeah, they have a little small handkerchief. It's like two inches by two inches.

They just rub it all over my stuff, put it in a computer, and then it comes back positive. Yeah, I hated dealing with that stuff. It's hard to explain some of the situations I've been in when you're in them, especially when I'm not doing anything wrong. You know, like you know you're in the right and you haven't done anything wrong,

but it's just like, I don't want to deal with this and answer these questions. Yeah. Especially if you're leading your fight. The knives are, I carry a knife in my pocket all the time and i hate to forget that some people well one half the time by the way i get through with a knife the half i don't uh some guys are like you know yeah i mean it's not that big of

a deal other guys are really alarmed and maybe that's like i am with there with you are with the pot like this is not a big deal. This is a multi-tool. There's pliers on it. Are you concerned about that? Take it. Fine. But that doesn't resolve the situation? I had this weapon, I guess you'd call it,

that was just on a paracord attached to my backpack. I had this nice compact military backpack this company had sent me. And they also made these things. It's shaped like a T, sort of. And the bottom part of the T, or the top if you were actually drawing a T, goes in your fist. You grip it. And then there's a spike that comes out between your fingers.

So you're holding a spike that's coming out. And it's all made of plastic. And it's real ergonomic the the base of it the handle part is wrapped in paracord and the front is plastic but it's you know there's like 30 grades of plastic right and it's it's whatever is the one that'll hold the best metal it's it's the one that'll hold a sharp fucking edge and it's like hard and and it's literally made i guess to go through fucking metal detectors and be a weapon and i i wore that thing on so many flights just just on my backpack put the backpack in the overhead and i and i would it just stayed clipped on there and if they ever said anything i'd you know take it just like when we went to um

killington that time they i had a cigar lighter and they were like oh look at this thing because it was like a multi-tool cigar lighter that like had a punch and the chopping thing and then it was a jet lighter and it was like a 300 lighter and they took it he was super cool about it he's like he's like i can confiscate it or i could mail it back to your home and and i'm like what if you just drained all the fluid out of it he's like hmm well the regulation says no pressurized container so i guess if we depressurize it you're good to go huh he took it he took an ink pen out of his pocket went and handed it back to me cool guy of the fucking decade that's really nice of him yeah super nice people aren't like those tsa people aren't in school yeah i'd gotten that thing for christmas it was super expensive for a fucking

lighter but at the time i was smoking a lot of cigars i had gotten into that as one of my niche hobbies or whatever i'm always doing nonsense like that. Every time I see someone smoke a cigar, especially now watching The Sopranos, I'm like, man, that looks awesome. But I just know if I went out and I bought a cigar, I'd get like three puffs in until I was like, this sucks, and I don't feel like I look cool.

So I would get, when we were in Vegas, they had a really nice humidor room at the hotel I was staying in, and I went in there and I got really nice peach cigars, like, like not like a gas station Swiffer Swisher or anything, but like a, a really legit like peach cigar.

Not, it wasn't as big as like a Tony Soprano deal. It was like probably a cigarillo kind of thing. Yeah. But bigger than that, somewhere in between, like, like probably about as big around as your pointer finger. And loved those fucking things they were peach and i would i would smoke

those all the time i like them a lot guys if my battery dies i'm calling it yep yeah yeah four hours that's yeah we're yeah we're four hours anyway i want to do another question i hope we don't make sure taylor i i always love taylor work questions maybe i'm the only one, but here it is. I'm going to add to it, by the way. Question for Taylor. Did going to school help you with your current marketing job? I'm working as a marketing manager and have no schooling, and I'm wondering if I'm missing anything big.

So I interpret that two ways. One, did school help you get your job? And does school help you do your job? I think being good at interviewing helped a lot more than school. To get the job. As far as getting jobs, yeah. Just getting in the door is harder. But yeah, if you're doing shit in business or marketing or whatever,

yeah, you learn valuable stuff in those classes, but it's not like it's engineering, where if you don't go and you don't learn how to be an electrical engineer, you're not going to know how to do it. Like you can put the pieces together. You can figure stuff out online. You can take courses to get really good at Excel. Like it's one of those career paths where it's like you're kind of responsible, I feel like, for your own education a lot. Because like, you know, and I feel this way about a lot of majors in college where it's like, it feels like a lot of filler space for non STEM majors. Like if you're not in STEM, it feels like there's a lot of, you know, hullabaloo you have to get through just to get the right credits. But yeah, I would say don't, don't get hung up. Definitely don't go back to school unless you feel like you need it,

or it's a requisite, a prerequisite for a job. And if it is a prerequisite for a job, find a different job. Don't waste your money on that. So just figure out everything you can working in the current job you have kind of tap that for knowledge figure it all out and then when you go into your next job utilize all that knowledge you have and they're going to be way more impressed by shit you learned on your own demonstrating initiative than you will be then they will be by you know oh you have this marketing degree from so-and-so university like he's a marketing manager it sounds like he's fairly along the career yeah like things are you you know what you're doing bro

like I you probably if you're already that level you probably don't need to go back to school that was a great answer so Blade where can everybody find all your streams all your where you are it's all my YouTube channel

all my social media keeps getting banned the world hates me so the only thing you can do It's all on my YouTube channel. Okay. All my social media keeps getting banned. The world hates me. So the only thing you can do is just go to EasyBlade on YouTube. When do you stream? Is it kind of random or do you have a schedule? Right now I'm taking a break to get my health in order, but usually I stream around 7 o'clock my time, which is Pacific time.

I usually stream about six days a week, take Sundays off. Okay. Any idea when your next stream will be? Probably next week to get my blood sugar and diabetes together before we start.

Yeah, for sure. All right. Well, I'm sure you're going to get a big influx of PKA people because I got to say, I loved you on the show. We've had a great time having you. It was great to catch up.

You were hilarious. I loved your stories. Thank you very much. It's hell of a nostalgia, man. It's crazy. Yeah, for sure. Thank you very much for coming. I've been in this thing probably a half dozen times way back in like 2011.

You did a good job. Yeah, you did an amazing job. Great job, man. Thank you for coming. Thanks, guys. 490.