Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #499

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

In this week's PKA, Kyle is back! And... we're happy to have a return favorite back after a long departure... ARIAN FOSTER!! Arian goes into detail and shares stories about his panic attacks/anxiety and his taste in women which lean on the older and more mature side of life, of course we get a cancer update from Kyle since he had to miss last week's show after being gouged in the eye and we go a little OG PKA with lots of Survival Talk based on the guys personal experiences and various survival reality TV shows. So enjoy a killer episode of PKA this week!

PKN 49 with our guest Arian Foster. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by AmeriCorps, honey and smart mouth. PKA is proudly brought to you by AmeriCorps. AmeriCorps needs you now more than ever. What is AmeriCorps? It's your opportunity to help your neighbor and your

nation through these difficult times. AmeriCorps members serve their communities by fighting hunger, teaching, tutoring, and mentoring students as well as responding to natural disasters. AmeriCorps is your chance to get involved and be the greater good. Search hundreds of opportunities and apply at joinamericorps.gov. That's joinamericorps.gov. And that's for AmeriCorps, A-M-E-R-I-C-O-R-P-S.

So check out AmeriCorps and serve your community. I'm doing my part. Aaron, how you doing? Everything is everything. How's everybody on PKA It's been a minute Doing good Have you been on Not even since Kyle's had his whole prison debacle

Nah I'm out the loop Put me in the loop Kyle's had prison and cancer Since you've last been on I'm staying busy I'm a productive kind of guy Keep me, put me in the loop. Kyle's had prison and cancer since you've last been on. So welcome to the show. I stay busy. I'm a productive kind of guy. All right.

Prison and cancer. All right. Well, I mean, feel me. Prison. Let's start with the prison, I guess. That's the lighter. Yeah. Yeah.

So I had marijuana charges. You can do the fast forward. I had marijuana charges going back like three years ago. I had half an ounce of marijuana. Where do you live? Where do you live again? Georgia. Oh, yeah.

That's right. That's right. So I had to do two months in federal prison for that and pay a bunch of fines and shit. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And the guns. That's it. Yeah.

And, you know, like half a million in property, that sort of thing. That's no joke. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. That's expensive. half ounce of marijuana hey kyle do you ever regret it no no you gotta live your life all right so do you still you still smoke oh every never

so kyle's on i'm on probation still i got two years of probation so that i was at least a dozen atf officers listening right now yeah yeah um i was getting drug tested up until like two months ago or something like that like very regularly like maybe once every 10 days or something like that for months and months and months and even now there's a slim chance right maybe yeah they can test me anytime they want i'm just not on like the regular scheduled testing program yeah so best to wait until probation's over parole we can jump i messed what is what do you want probation probation yeah i've been told parole doesn't even exist anymore. And then I got cancer in my eye. Like, found that like a month or two ago.

And so I just got stitches out today. So it's still a little fucked up. I was going to wear an eye patch because we were joking about it. But the doctor told me not to because I just got the stitches out today. But it looks pretty good. He did a great job. You can just see a little bit of a cut right there. You look better with the eye patch. It was eye cancer

and they... It was not eye cancer. On the eyelid. Right where the eyelash would grow out is where the cancer was. They cut a wedge out of his eyelid and sewed it back together so they had clean margins.

You've probably heard that before. Yeah, it was fun so i mean you're you're so you're cancer free as of right now yeah yeah i found that out like three hours ago like yeah i am a cancer survivor um kyle strong uh you can buy your shirts on the pka store never and um we do need that my goodness we can sell a decent number of kyle strong shirts i'll get on that um prison and cancer yeah geez yeah me and what do you haven't had cancer or been to prison in the meantime pussies as far as i know boring life y'all I know. Taylor, we might have cancer and not know it.

Ooh, fingers crossed. Just something to worry about. The amount of meat I eat has just got to be just an absolute sausage grinder of a intestine system I'm working with. That can't be good for when I'm like 50, right? Yeah, colon cancer. That's a good one to have. I think that's one of the worst ones, right? Pancreatic is like the last boss at the end of the cancer game.

Like very like Dark Souls level cancer boss is pancreatic. And then like Val, that'll fuck you up. And then at the bottom of it, like the first boss where it says X to Perry and then stab with Y like it tells you how to beat it. That's the one you got on your eyelid. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. Well, I hope you get a more manly cancer as a matter of fact i'm gonna be praying i'm gonna be praying for you to get a manlier cancer than what i got so you don't look like such a bitch you got the the tutorial version of cancer

it's like the part where they tell you how to mount the horse and ride around oh oh um test results i don't think you talked about them yet yeah cancer free you know they got good margins that was today uh as long as well as taking the stitches finally out they have been rubbing on my eyeball for seven days now um so that was good she's pulling them out and she's like let me know if i hurt you i'm like bitch you could take these things out with a fucking angle grinder and i wouldn't complain a bit just get them out of my fucking eye because the stitches were on both sides of the eyelid right so they were rubbing your eye not everyone's okay um they weren't on the inside of the eyelid but the problem was they were on the bottom of the eyelid and so they were like lapping over

onto my eyeball so every time i blinked it's like scrubbing my eyeball with like those two loose ends of stitch like like that are on the knot you know where they tie the knot yeah yeah they're poking i don't like thinking about it oh yeah it try to get it off your mind when it's in your eye worst place for something to be i thought i told her she i was like i can't think of a worst place for something to be i told her she i was like i can't think of a worst place for this to be and i meant it like they could have sewn my piss hole up and i'd have been happier with that i feel like you get your mind off that i don't know man i don't know so that bitch up as long as you can still pee yeah right or whatever we'll put a catheter in my gooch i don't care

in my head you were just volunteering for a split stream oh that'd be cool so i want to i want to jump back because arian with the the answer what's going on everything is everything what's like everything is everything man nobody can even call you on that because it's true so i mean i mean with all of this COVID stuff, I mean, nobody's really doing anything, right? You're getting more into gaming just because you're stuck inside all day. I mean, I had a gaming party over here last night, but I bet you did. No, I mean, I had been into gaming for about like a year. I don't know how long it's been since I've been on, but I just started then. But now it's like I got a dual monitor set up and some more shit like the whole works

and i guess you can see the camera i got a good camera yeah it looks way better yeah because i'm on twitch and so i stream on twitch a little bit what's your twitch channel yeah taylor knows how to pimp a channel what's your twitch channel oh i appreciate it man a plug uh it's just it's just bobby fino bobby f-e-n-o no no space uh yeah i just i stream like right now i'm super into uh i got all my games up i'm like i play with valorant uh sea of thieves orion the blind forest that's that's what i usually stream shit like that valorant scares me dude so that's a game with a really high skill ceiling. You can play that game for three years and people who've been playing

CSGO, obviously you can't because it's new, but people who've been playing CSGO for the last five years have a huge advantage over you. Yeah, no question. I had no idea what FPS was. It's first person shooter. I learned that. That's why you did so well in the NFL.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. No, I had no idea what it was. And so, like, I just – I heard – like, you watch Twitch, and, like, you get all these ads. And so one of them came out. I was like, that looks pretty dope. And then there's, like, a wave of it of all your, like,

favorite Twitch streamers. Like, they started playing it so you can get drops, right? They was doing a beta test. One of them came on and said, that looks pretty dope. And then there's like a wave of it of all your favorite Twitch streamers. They started playing it so you can get drops, right? They was doing a beta test. And so I left my Twitch running for like a day and I got the drop. I just started playing. I fell in love with it because I was really into Fortnite, but that's getting kind of corny to me. So I just, I don't play that anymore.

And sorry, you hear my baby in the background but uh but um no uh i fell in love with this and like like dudes was whooping my ass and i'm like dog how are y'all so good i started asking questions like how are y'all so good oh we came from csgo and i was like what the fuck you see i haven't even heard of csgo oh shit yeah and so like these dudes it's kind of the same so i started looking at that stuff like like video tutorials on how to get better. And so it's kind of this exact same concept. They say it's CSGO mixed with Overwatch. I've never played that one either.

Yeah, it's got the visuals of Overwatch. Yeah, that's what they say. But it's just a really dope game to me. And they're going to continue to grow the characters out. So, like, I'm excited for it, man. It has a really good aesthetic. I've never really watched it. And I'm just looking at a muted stream right now but it seems like so many of those

gaming help tutorial things it's like all right first thing you want to do is get into cs go nine years ago i'm behind the ball here well you're 12 years old right good okay your brain is so malleable sure you forget how to write no i'm 34 write what yeah nah it's it's hard it's hard because like i came from i started playing call of duty like a long time ago like i was really into that for a while and then i started playing fortnite that was fun but this is totally different kind of aiming like it's it's like more skill level involved in this and so it's like starting from the ground up but i did place i don't know if you guys know about the ranking systems or whatever like so like you have

to play like 20 games or something like that for the day and they rank you and so it was iron bronze silver gold platinum diamond and there's one more and then they what they call radiant which i don't think i ever want to be that that's that means i play all the time and uh so i play silver that's that was dope for me because i was like you know i'm still yeah it's like but then i got demoted to bronze so i think you should go higher on those iron fucks yeah that is but what happens is like so those dudes that are like really good like those pros they'll they'll do what they call smurfing and yeah and that so they'll they'll create other accounts and you'll be playing against bronze players and they're like whooping your ass you're like come on fam you like this is not your league but i bet that is a blast

if you're really good at those games no question because their queue time is like 10-15 minutes for each game yeah it's like you're going to go high school football game. Yeah, because they're so good at high levels. Exactly what it's like. Just stiff arm and cast head into the ground. I don't like skill-based matchmaking. Skill-based matchmaking ruins games for me. It should be optional. It should be optional.

But when you do that, you divide the player base, right? And it's kind of a... Nobody gets what they want. Like Black Ops had... I think it was Black black ops had a competitive you know ranked like this ranked competitive and you can choose to go in there and put on your try hard pants or you can go in pubs and you know use bad guns or have a good time yeah they have an unrated or unranked like on valorant yeah so they have unranked or unrated i think they call it and then they have competitive and competitive is where you're ranked but unranked is like it's just everybody like where you can

so you might be playing against some shitty people you might be playing against the best in the world you don't really know yeah i like that better i like like that's one of the cool things about tarkov you don't know who you're playing against like like they could be brand new to the game or they could be one of the greatest players in the world you have no idea i i downloaded tarkov i haven't opened it yet tarkov yeah so i play a lot of tarkov i have i would have to look i don't know 2 000 hours in it now like too much and uh um it it's just it takes a long time to learn at all the maps are insanely complicated there's six maps each of them are maybe the size of 16 Call of Duty maps.

And as a COD player, then you know what it is to learn a map. It's one thing to know how to get from one side to the other. It's a separate thing to really know all the lines of sight that you need to be careful about, to know how to navigate, to know where spawns are so that you know where danger might be coming from. That takes so much time. I'm still learning. Don't let me talk to you like i'm some sort of pro but uh tarkov is a good game for people that have too much gaming time it's an incredibly complex game it's one of the most complex games out there that's fine man it's it's fun and you want a guide you're arian foster so you won't have any

trouble finding people volunteering to be your guides but if you're a list if you're a listener try to find a guide somewhere yeah you don't want to go in there like by it's not like call of duty where you can just like hop in a lobby and everybody's got the same shit and everybody's going to the same map and the objective is shoot stuff it's like okay mission number one go to the old factory and find the notebook and you're like all right well where's the factory and what find the notebook. And you're like, all right, well, where's the factory? And what's the notebook look like? Fuck you. Well, perfect. That looks like a factory.

Wrong. You're dead. But I lost. Oh, my God. Wrong factory. But it took me six and a half hours to earn that stuff. Did I mention? Fuck you.

Yeah. That's the other thing. Like, you know, Call of Duty, you jump in Call of Duty game and you're like, oh yeah, I want to play with an M16 this game. Well, that didn't cost you anything. And when you die, somebody might pick your M16 up. That wasn't your M16. That was just some bullshit. And Tarkov,

your M16 is your fucking M16 like you grabbed it off the shelf at your house and took it out to go fight. So somebody picks that up and takes it with them. You're not getting it it's gone it's like racing your pink slips yeah so it's like yeah so it's like um war sims yeah that's how they describe themselves it's a battle simulator although it's you know it's got some not so realistic features you know you get shot and you perform surgery on yourself in the field of battle. That's probably not that realistic. There's plenty of shit like that.

Kyle's right. But I should mention, if you get shot, there are like four different ways to get hurt. Your brain might be confused with the tremor. You might be bleeding.

You might need a quick surgery. You might have a broken bone. And they all have different ways of solving these problems. It just is one example of the learning curve yeah you've got a medical kit but like like you've got a surgical kit you've got a first aid kit you've got morphine shots and propyl shots and adrenaline shots they're like off the top of my head maybe four or five different kinds of first aid kits and the four or five different kinds of

first aid kits solve different things and uh oh and i didn't even mention bandages and splits you guys are playing your hyper realistic game i like playing red dead 2 where if i lose my dead eye slow motion aiming ability i can hide behind a tree in the middle of a battle eat a whole bushel of apples drink half a gallon of fire brandy and smoke like a hundred cigarettes and then I'm good to go albeit you know he's not healthy but that's okay they do make comments in that game if you don't bathe I haven't bathed in the entire game yet

and so like a lot of times he'll talk to someone and then like my guy's just filthy he'll just walk up to someone and they'll be like oh why are you neglecting your careful hygiene, man? Because I like the reactions.

I made a huge mistake yesterday as far as video games go. I was sitting on here and my friend Mitty messaged me on Discord and he goes, Want to play Rust? I was like i was like yeah yeah i guess it's like offering an attic myth yeah it's like somebody called you up and they're like hey man you want to shoot up and you're like god damn if i don't want to shoot

up but i want to know you. I'm six months sober. I've been going to the classes. I got a sponsor. Come on, man. I got some good shit. And you're just like, all right, I'll download it. Are you back in Rust now? Yeah, I'm back in Rust.

I played all day yesterday. I woke up today at 3 p.m. Kyle, what is Rust? Dude, Rust is is i'll just how do you spawn in what's your character like that's where i was going so join a server in rust you're like yeah i want to play and it the screen brightens up you can kind of see the sky a little bit kind of blurry and it says press any key to wake up press a key your guy stands up and he's on a beach and he's buck ass naked dick hanging out balls hanging out

completely naked he has two items with him a torch and a rock from there you have to go out into the world and farm wood stone metal or build yourself a little house to live in. That way, if you find some more shit, you got somewhere to hide it from the other degenerates. Cause everybody's out there just like you starting naked with a rock and a torch. If you put enough time into the game and by enough time, I mean in a week, you spend at least eight hours a day, every single day playing this shit. you will have built up to the point where you've got guns and armor and a helicopter and now you can go to the other motherfuckers base where they live and use explosives to blow the fucking doors down

murder them all in their sleep take all the shit that they've been working for for 50 fucking hours of their actual real world lives take it it back to your house, put it in your safe, and then rinse and repeat. And you just keep going and snowballing and becoming the baddest motherfucker in the world of Rust. I like that you specify that because as they're sitting playing, life's

passing you by. I mean, you know, any video games like that, I guess. We could be out in the world learning a language or playing an instrument, but instead we're fighting degenerates with crossbows on a fake ocean and stealing their fucking wood and stone from them. And it's a super toxic game because there's so much at risk. Like, I worked all day yesterday, like 12 hours, playing this game.

And we built a nice base. We put all our shit in it. And it was like 3 in the morning last night. And my buddy was like, all right, I like 12 hours playing this game. And we built a nice base. We put all our shit in it. And it was like 3 in the morning last night. And my buddy was like, alright, I'm going to go to bed. I was like, I need to decompress. I'm going to watch some Twitch and then I'm going to go to bed. He text messaged me an hour later. He goes, we got raided.

All our shit's gone. 12 hours of work. We worked all day. Like both of us grinding. Like an alarm system? Yeah. I mean, there are alarm systems in the game, but you've got to kind of get more advanced to the point where you can have an alarm system because you don't just go like,

oh yeah, alarm on. You've got to be like, all right, well, let's go find a battery, a whole bunch of electrical wiring, all these components that are just out in the world and actually build a fucking alarm system. You don't do anything easily in you just lose everything easily tarkov has an element as you know kyle in tarkov like when i die you get my stuff right assuming you killed me um i've taken to shooting just like crazy now in gunfights one it helps you

win gunfights a little more but two i'll be damned if you're getting that much ammo i'll fire magazine after magazine in your general direction yeah the the difference between tarkov and rust really i mean there's a lot but the main one as far as the gameplay is that when you when you play tarkov anything that you brought into that particular game is on your body that that's up for grabs. You could take my gun, my armor, my helmet. But back in the pregame lobby, you have this stash of shit

that you've collected over the days, weeks, months of playing this game during this wipe cycle. I can't get that. That's your shit. There's no way I can invade your stash. In Rust, you can invade people's stash. So the shit that they've been grinding for and working hard as fuck for for days weeks you can go take it all from them so

sorry rust is like minecraft meets first person shooter with first person shooter graphics yeah it's a nasty game too people are toxic as toxic as fuck. There's voiceover in-game. You toxic? There's no way. I'm nice. I'm friendly in that game. I really am. I say GG when they kill me, and I say it when I kill them.

But there will be people like, people will come up to your base when you're new at the game, and you've still got bows and arrows, and they've got machine guns, and they'll just be outside your house knocking on the door. Duck, duck, duck, duck. And you're just like, don't move, dude. If they don't think we're in here, maybe they'll just be outside your house knocking on the door and you're just like don't move dude if they don't think we're in here maybe they'll just leave and and you'll hear them in voice they'll like you know press the the voice command we know you're in there bitch fuck so can you communicate with other players yeah you can hold the talk button and you can proximity talk like anybody who's within like actual voice range of you you can talk to them in that game

and they'll say some scandalous shit they'll say the meanest shit you've ever heard a grown man say to another grown man right outside your house and eventually get mad enough that you'll be like all right motherfucker i'm coming and you'll open the door and they'll just blow you away the shotgun take all your shit real quick and then run away so it's in gaming of course there's a lot of skills you can have right there's map knowledge crafting knowledge aim etc rust is interesting to me because kyle brings charisma as one of his in-game skills which doesn't apply to valorant or cs go or call of duty like there's no i don't know these people i'm killing i know nothing about them they're just like ai right you know almost yeah but kyle can talk and sometimes maybe get a better outcome than he would have otherwise yeah there's been

so many times where like you can see the huge difference in the charisma skill skill gap between me and the people that are on my team like they'll get caught out like out farming for wood and two badass motherfuckers will come upon them they've got AK-47s and covered in steel armor. And they're like, what's up, bitch? And he'd be like, hey, guys, I'm kind of new here. And you'll just hear, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, you handled that wrong, man.

So what happens when you die, though? What happens? Everything that's... You respawn back and you're sleeping back, back in your base, and you're sleeping back back in your base. You're naked again. So you got to grab a whole bunch of new shit from your base

that you've got stored away. Everything you died with. I'm going to go ahead and not download that one. It's like Mad Max. It's like Mad Max. Like people... Now they've added horses

and like cars. There's like steam engine cars and helicopters. I feel like I would spend more time worrying about losing my stuff than I would enjoying the stuff that I've accrued. That's what makes the game good. The stress and the fear of losing what you have. And to me, that's what makes any game good.

Some games, it's like, I don't want to lose because losing is not cool, right? My friends will see me lose. At the end of the game, they'll look at the scoreboard and they see i went negative that's the negative uh like ramification of doing poorly in this game it's like dude i've been working for three days straight on this i like fps this is where i can die three times in a row right off the bat like cod and then just be like no this map sucks i'm out you can't do that on valorant though oh really nah like yeah you if you if you leave a match they like doc that you can't play for an hour or something like that yeah if you think that's how it should be i like that i bought the game i should be able to quit

and not just them but your teammates right your teammates are now let down then you go four every five and it's just a horse and that's an advantage and a lot some games it's an advantage to be the four versus the five man if it's like team death match but if it's objective obviously that's different you know if it's it's like a spike rush is what they call it like like i guess what they call it duty like you go plant the spike and then they have to diffuse it oh yeah okay okay this shit ain't no demolition type thing not an advantage at all yeah i like games where when you lose it fucking hurts and uh like like yesterday we built this first little base to live in where we stored all of our shit and 12 hours worth of our work are hidden in it and these guys are bullying us literally i'm being bullied by other grown men and and we're like we can't live here

anymore man this neighborhood is too hot we've got to go somewhere off in the wilderness where there aren't as many mean men to pick on us but that means we've got to gather up all this expensive shit that we've like farmed all this gunpowder and explosives and the few guns we own and we got to get in a boat and we got to sail across the other end of the island and build a new house well there's a scary fucking moment where you open your front door covered in 12 hours worth of your shit you've got a backpack full of like gunpowder and guns it's everything you've worked for for the last 12 hours if they're out there waiting and they kill me it's all gone and they're gonna poke fucking fun at me in the chat. There's like a global chat on the left side of the map where you can type

and everybody in game can see it and they'll be ruthless in there. They'll be like, fuck you, motherfucker. We got all your shit. We've taken 10 kits off of you. Y'all are pussies. Y'all are bitches. They'll say some words I can't even say on here. They'll call you

the worst. I've never been so mad in a video game. No, it wasn't anger. It's because you're already on tilt because they stole all your stuff. No, I've never had my feelings hurt like I've had my feelings hurt playing Rust. I remember like a year and a half ago, me and my same friend I'm playing with now, Middy, are hiding in our base, and there's a literal child outside who's picking on us.

There's a 12-year-old child with a speech impediment who's so much better than us that it's not even funny, and he is calling us the F word with a lisp, and there's nothing we can do. See, he chose that word

because you can fire that one out with any kind of lisp. Yeah. He drags that F on for like three syllables. And then I'm just calling this just mean stuff. It literally hurt my feelings. I was like, I got to go, man. I'm not feeling so hot.

Did you try to charm him? You can't charm. These are sociopaths. You can't charm a sociopath. There's different levels of people in the game. You didn't try to charm the child? I've had poor luck in the past charming children. It always, it never goes my way.

That's the other prison term. That's the other prison term. I don't want to talk about that one. We were talking about that yesterday or the day before yesterday on PKN, I think maybe how like as a grown man you can't have a conversation with a child anymore that's not yours or like family like like you can't be like in the park and a little kid comes up like hey mister you can't sit there and have like a conversation with them without it looking weird that's true dude that is

true i take it too far but we watch unless you kids do it. Unless you have kids, they're playing as well. But you can't just be... You shouldn't be at a park with those kids by yourself. I just like to pace. I just like to go on jogs around the jungle gym. What's the problem?

Nah, dog. You gotta get up off the merry-go-round. You're doing the monkey park with your sticks too, so you're just walking Nah, dog. You gotta get up off the merry-go-round. You're doing the monkey part with your sticks, too, so you're just walking under them, holding them. Kyle's getting berated for talking to kids, because he's going up to them like, hey, your parents are fucking sheep. Let me tell you what's really going on. Get out of here.

Your parents are fucking retarded, and I'm gonna break down exactly why. My favorite kids came up talking to me me and it's these two little girls who were like seven, eight years old. And I felt so uncomfortable. Like I'm, I'm in my driveway and my car, I just pulled in and they just come running up to me. Hey, Hey, Hey. I've never, I've never known these girls. I don't know their names. I don't know that neighbor. Like we've never spoken. We kind of wave,

but like, I don't know these people. And these little spoken we kind of wave but like i don't know these people and these little girls are like right up against my car and i'm i'm just like shoot i don't want to do that either because i want to like run back daddy daddy that man did this whoa i could just totally see him coming up and like knocking on my door an hour later like hey i saw you talking to my girls and it's like well yeah i was i didn't like it though they wanted me that's what you don't understand you wanted to talk to me they were the aggressors they they they really like me sir don't think we didn't notice you had a family-sized bag of sour patch kegs hanging out we've been watching this girl it's like we've been watching this girl for like two years now and uh i'm playing with her today throwing her up holding her upside down you know like you do with two-year-olds and uh then

it's like oh she's got poopy pants right jackie's like well you discovered it you you change her i'm not getting me too take this girl she's all yours you never know what she's gonna say when she gets back home right having no part of that events might differ from mine i'll get bill cosby like in 16 years now he was a rough wiper i was trying to get you clean. Dude, have you ever changed a girl? Have you ever changed a girl's diaper?

I'm sorry, I cut you off, Kyle. He's about to talk about poopy pussy. I know he is. Yeah, there are folds that you need to handle. Don't want any part of that. For the majority part, for fathers or future fathers, they have natural cleaning mechanisms, if you will.

You're not supposed to dig in there. If you discover poop in there. Yeah. I'm talking about if you keep going, there's always going to be something in there because it rides up in there. They have natural cleaning things. They got some kind of filtration system, like a Brita down there.

I'm going to look for a man here to show them how pajamas work. You don't want to scoop it out because it'll throw the pH balance off and you have to shock it. No. No. All right, you want

a cap or the powder? I'm sorry, I have a saltwater pussy. Doesn't matter. It still makes chlorine, all right? So you have two girls now, Arian? I think you only had one last time. Yeah, yeah. So I guess this is bullshit.

Has it been that long? How old is your youngest? She's two and a half. She's going to be three in November. Oh, then no. You definitely had two kids last time. Okay, yeah. You were here.

Okay. You going to try for any more? I don't know. I'm on the fence. I'm on the fence. No, I got four kids total. Oh, four. What? Yeah, I got four kids. Then, yeah, it makes sense I'm on the fence. No, I got four kids total. Oh, four. Then yeah, it makes sense to be on the fence.

I might do one more. I'm not sure. I got a couple myself. In prison? No. He was the child in prison. Almost. I don't want to go to prison.

I think Aaron would do wonderfully in prison I mean I mean really right like you're a big guy like I think that because you play ball and because you're a big guy like I think you just fit right in you know and

I fit in better than most but like still it didn't go well. Are you good at basketball, Arian? Yeah, I'm good. You are? I mean, I guess everybody says that, but, like, I can go. You'd be good.

I had, like, some small offers out of high school, but I just was never focused on it. Oh, that's the other thing. They had a football league in prison. I didn't see that coming. Was it like tackle? They did flat. They're supposed to play with flags, but the guards didn't give a shit. So had a football league in prison. I didn't see that coming. Was it like tackle? They did flat. They're supposed to play with flags, but the guards didn't give a shit. How was your experience there, bro,

if you don't mind me asking? Were you really bullied, or how did it go? One guy warned me that another guy was talking about raping me. Other than that, it was all good you know the showers were nice uh the beds were fine i guess i mean they weren't ideal but it wasn't like you

were sleeping on a rock um we had good air conditioning good food it wasn't that bad you didn't have to like you have to fight nobody or nothing like that no it was it's like low security so everybody who's in there kind of earned their way into there. So nobody's really trying to fire because they don't want to get bumped back up to medium because there's a medium security prison like on the same premises. And those people get stabbed up there over potato chips and

shit. Like if you borrow some potato chips and you don't pay that debt, they're literally stabbing each other over that shit. Where meanwhile like where I'm at, it's like, hey man, you got some salsa I can borrow? Like, yeah. Of course. It's like a real world if you were to ask me for some salsa. And I'd be like, of course you can have some salsa. Here, here's a cup of

salsa. I wouldn't expect you to have to come right back with some salsa the next day or else. Have you ever done a minimum security prison sitcom? That could be good. Honestly, it would be hilarious. That's a good idea. Yeah, write that one down right next to that take this out of the episode right next to my consent app

now kyle you befriended a couple bigger stronger guys do you think that other prisoners recognize that relationship or we're like fuck with kyle fuck with snow i don't want that or do you think that that really didn't play a big role i don't know like it's possible it did i don't think i would know if it had though like like for all i know not befriending snow and uh not befriending um the big uh black guy and not befriending all the white guys too and like trying to get somebody from each racial camp if i hadn't done that like for all i know i would have gotten like beaten up or somebody would have tried to fuck me or something like that was that a real threat or you like is it jokes like no it's a real threat yeah like like um i was there was a there's a black guy that i'd been like friends with and uh he was the radio radio

was positive yeah we we use these radios to watch tv like it's the only way to get the audio like the tv's muted but you can get this little handheld radio with earphones, and you can dial it in digitally to what the TV's playing. I noticed his was busted. They're like $75 in there. You can only have so much commissary per month. I noticed his was busted, so I was like, hey, man,

see your radio's busted there. I'm going to be out in 60 days. I got a brand new radio here you you can have my radio when i get out how about that he's like for real i'm like yeah yeah you know no big deal you know what am i gonna do with the radio you know i'm going home i've got and he was just like so appreciative of that like he was always bringing me free shit like like he was you know i couldn't get diet pepsi always bringing me free shit. Like, like he was, you know,

I couldn't get diet Pepsis one, one time, which was like the only soda in there that I wanted to drink. And like, he went and like pulled some kind of favor and like found some diet Pepsis out of the back or some shit and like brought them to me. But anyway, he came by one day,

he put a six pack of sodas in my cell and he's like, yo dude over there said, uh, he trying to get with you. And I'm like in bed, like reading a book. And I'm just like, what? Like, yeah, yo, he said he gonna, he gonna get with you. And I'm just like, fuck. And that was like two and a half, three weeks into my prison stay. I had just started

to feel comfortable. I had gotten like good clothes to wear, like out of the commissary, like sweats. So I didn't have to wear that scratchy ass prison uniforms. I had like sweat pants, a sweatshirt. Like I had a nice pillow that I had made myself. I had the kind of soap that I use back at home. I had all the chili that I wanted that I could microwave in the commissary room. I was doing all right. I had figured the library out. I was doing as well as you can do in prison.

I had all the creature comforts I could want. And then this dude's like, yeah, somebody over there, he just points to the other side of the dorm, wants to fuck you in the ass. And I'm just like oh oh no he didn't say who and he wouldn't say who and i was just like because that's snitching and uh you know he's just letting me know be on your guard so now i'm on my guard right now i'm afraid to go take a piss show your guard face okay and you can't tell there's no way you can be like i can't be a you cannot go to a garbage like excuse me sir um that gentleman right there

yeah you see the one staring at us right now yeah he told me that there's a man over there who wants to fuck me in my butthole and uh you should question the shit out of that man and then he'll tell you who the other bad man is even the guard would have been like dude you sure you want to do this now you're looking at two or three rapes i'm gonna have to rape you myself i didn't want to do this they were for the keys of the baton yeah they were gonna use lube before before but now all bets are off yeah yeah so uh it wasn't great but it wasn't the worst thing in the world either nobody did rape me or uh you know for the most

part it was uh yeah yeah uh you know i got in what one shouting match the whole time i was there and and i don't think it was really close to being a fight it was just us yelling at each other over the fucking television and uh but yeah it was no fun i was so glad to be home still am still am does every day still feel fresher waking up yeah yeah i'll tell you what you you'll never appreciate the the quiet of your own home more than if you've just spent 60 days in a because cause it's never quiet in there. Like, like 24 hours a day. It's like that when there's like,

like, like a hundred people talking and it's just that cacophony of voices that, that you can't even really make out what anybody's saying. It's just like, it's just like white noise. Yeah. It's all day, every day.

And at night it's nothing but snores and farts. Just, just all night long, 150 men in one room just snoring and farting that's awful yeah that sounds horrible actually don't do drugs kids say no i'm gonna go follow these laws real quick yeah yeah jesus that sucks i have my own appreciation you know what i so i have a c-pap machine area anybody you know what that is where it helps you breathe at night. So,

okay. So I would snore, but not just snore like regular people. I snore. That thing. I don't, it makes no noise, but it,

it blows in your nose basically and inflates your airway. So I went from someone who snored on like an Olympic level, people who have like, um, sleep apnea. Yes. That's it. Yeah. yeah okay but i don't have you heard one in real life because they're crazy quiet well my roommate had one in college and it was loud as shit so maybe i mean that was they've gotten better that's 2008

so maybe oh okay i don't know i know that mine is a really good one i know that it would cost seven grand if i didn't have insurance. So it might be better than others. I don't know. But sometimes I wake up in the morning having slept well, really well. And it's like this fucking joy. Look at me. I've recovered.

I feel young for heaven's sakes. Like a good night. I went probably 30 years without a good night's sleep. So I still appreciate them now. Oh, go ahead, Raring. No, no, no. Go ahead. Get your joke off.

I fucked it up. I fucked it up. It's too late now. It's too late now. Actually, let's hear it and judge it. Taylor, go. You'll never trick me. No, it must be'll never trick me no it must be real good what was the uh what was the issue that you had like what was the diagnosis

yeah so i originally didn't want a c-pad machine I hated the idea of it. Partly it was this one scene in Sopranos where they made fun of Junior, the old guy, Tony's dad. Like, what are you, a mig fighter or something? And I was like, I don't want to wear that. I don't want my wife to judge me. She would never, but it was in my head. And I went to an ENT surgeon, ears, nose, and throat surgeon. And I was like, bro, I want to do this. He's like, nope, you want the c-pad

went back and forth with him i'm like yeah but you know what can we do it turns out i have i can't list them but like five different reasons i didn't breathe well my tongue's maybe a little bigger than normal my tonsils are a little bigger than normal my uvula is whatever forward i'm making shit up at this point but he's like i could operate on any one of these and you'll still be not so good he's like you know you would be a surgical candidate if it was just one thing you know but but you don't have just one thing if you're my brother i'm telling you get the c-pap don't look back and that's what i needed to hear to give it a try and i went in for a couple sleep studies they figured out my settings and and what turns out I woke up like every minute, like on average,

not completely woke up, but they call it an arousal, which sounds sexual, but yeah, like every minute and, um, arousal every minute. Yeah. So it was, you know, I just wake up grumpy and unrested and, you know, like, as you know, like even your workouts, you don't recover in the same way. Like it, all of life was just a little bit of a drag on it. And sometimes I wake up now like, fuck, fresh. Let's tackle the day.

I've shared a hotel room with him before. It was outrageous. I was like a dangerous driver. I was so tired all the time. And I remember we used to do a thing where we'd watch movies together, you know, like Kyle, maybe Chiz and I. And I couldn't stay awake through a movie. And they played my snoring back to me. I didn't know.

Yeah, me and Woody and Chiz are like in a call like this. And we're all watching the same movie. You know, we queue up, play it from the beginning. I don't remember what we were watching. Good movie, though. I do remember that. And Chiz and I are like really enjoying it. And, you know, we sort of whisper back the beginning. I don't remember what we were watching. Good movie, though. I do remember that. And Chiz and I are really enjoying it. And we sort of whisper back and forth so we don't interrupt.

Like, yeah, yeah, this is pretty good right here. I like how this is going on. Yeah, yeah, I think he's going to trick them, though. And we just hear. And I'm like, what the fuck? Was that in the movie? Is that the monster? It's a sex scene it shouldn't be this is all true and that's not an exaggeration you know it was yeah i snore at some point we're just like i think we should just like maybe go

right and we shouldn't wake him up i mean he's asleep now you fell asleep in the movie theater that time we were all watching uh we were in chicago watching ted 2 which is a garbage movie to your credit however i will point out you fell asleep before it started i'm really tired during all the time imagine a life where like i took like a nine dollar nap listen hey depending on what the movie theater was how would your life go it would have been like 20 how would your life go if someone just rustled your shoulders a little bit once a minute all night long right you know like you might not completely wake up but you never get a good night's sleep you'd never be the best you you'd exist in this sort of grumpy tired

physically disabled version of you and then i get this machine and it's like a turnaround for me it's huge i lost some weight my workouts were better like it's huge how long have you had call it two and a half years that sound right ish something like yeah yeah my dad can't leave home without his he um he was visiting about a month ago and um you know he spent the night and the next day he went he was he was driving back home and he lives like three hours from me he's been gone about 45 minutes maybe an hour and he calls me he's like hey uh is my c-pap sitting on your coffee table and i look and it's like right there next to him like mm-hmm and he's like well uh i'm gonna need you to meet me halfway i'm like fuck but there's no way he can survive without that thing it's same thing yeah he's got to have it it's life changing i i i went away for

a weekend deal flying thing a couple maybe month ago and i didn't have it yeah and i just yeah i don't know every day i'm just a little bit worse. You degrade. No, I can relate, man. I had – I've been going through – so I guess this is when y'all said, how have you been? I didn't tell the complete truth. I have been going through these anxious spells. I get anxiety really bad, but it's not like regular anxiety. It's like I got diagnosed with um general anxiety disorder where like i kind of just walk around with it and i didn't really know what was wrong with me i

thought i thought something's wrong with my heart it was what i thought because i started getting panic attacks and it started getting more frequent and it's like i don't know if you guys have ever had a panic attack but it was like it's like the worst fucking feel you feel like you're gonna die do you ever go unconscious i almost did twice um but like the paramedics came right before that happened and i think their presence just calms me down yeah but yeah but um uh that that's what they said was about to happen to me the first time it happened because like it was it's one of those things where i don't know anybody's experience to this degree but it's like your your limbs actually like lock up like to like where like you're like it was like this up. It was like this.

And at that time, I didn't know what it was. So I was like, oh, what the fuck is this? And it's starting to creep up. The muscles are starting to tighten all the way up my arm. You could feel it. And I felt it in my jaw. I was like, oh, shit. I'm slowly dying.

You ever seen that scene in The Matrix where Neo has that silver shit running up his head? Yeah, yeah. I was watching it go over. It's just weird as hell. So those started happening more and more frequent. and i didn't know what was wrong i i um i actually went on tour for my music early january before all this cover shit hit and uh we we did like all like southern states um a southern tour i mean and so we drove from florida to texas and we're gonna finish we had three cities in texas to finish out the tour and uh 20 minutes outside of houston i get a bad one and i i had never felt

it because like my arms was like feeling tingly and i thought i was like okay this is for real a heart issue and so we went to the emergency room and um uh they kept me overnight and it was the fucking greatest hospital i've ever been to in my life dog and it wasn't it wasn't like because it was me this is how they like they were just like overly like happy to help with whatever like it was inside i mean i've been to mad hospitals i've had like 14 surgeries throughout my career like i've been to hospitals like all the time so i'm used to them but like this was like insane like they woke me up in the. And my guy was like, hey, we're making a run for everybody on the floor. If you want some breakfast, what do you want?

I was like, what? Whatever you want. I was like, no, I'm straight, bro. But what the fuck is wrong with you? I told him, I was like, yo, this is by far the best treatment I've ever had in my life. They're like, thank you so much. We actually left. All of us left our jobs in Methodist which is like one of the biggest hospital centers in the world like for like

cancer as well like in houston uh they like we left our jobs there to come here because we feel like this is how you're supposed to treat patients and i was like that's it is insane so like if i ever die i want to die there but um but anyway so like uh yeah so the next day they sent me to like a stress test like for the heart echo cardio kg or whatever all that shit all i did all that they didn't find anything and so my last one i had was probably like a month ago and i was like doc we're like so what is this shit and so he got me in touch with a psychiatrist and she um like we've been talking for like a month and i feel way better like she gave me some anxiety medicine and i feel like i haven't rested like just like that's why i said all that long ass story but

just like i feel like i haven't rested in so long because this has been on me for i guess years but i just i just kind of likened it to life. That's just how. It only recently was the Matrix feeling of like cramped up. So many questions. Yeah, weed helps with that. No, see, so weed was a trigger for me. And so that's what started this whole shit was like I was always a smoker, but like one time I took a brownie. And the crazy shit is like we had a cook.

I had some homies visit from out of town and we, my, my, my shorty, she made a whole bunch of brownies and we, the whole weekend we was eating them and everything was fine. And the very last one I ate, I just, I locked up. I thought I was dead. I had no, it was the weirdest shit in the world. And then, and then subsequently I smoked like six times after that. And every single time I had a panic attack and i was like what the fuck is this and more research i did was like some people like for whatever reasons like midlife they can't smoke weed anymore like it like changes and they god i hope that hasn't happened to me in the last couple years i don't

want to have it that shit is horrible i love weed it's amazing so arian when you were a pro football player obviously existed in a world where people had an opinion on you, but social media is different, right? That Twitch chat exists non-stop. Your Facebook, your YouTube, your music probably too. Do you think that

triggers the anxiety? Is it tougher to be in your current life than your life from back in the day? Well, no. I think growing up in a sport where you're highly criticized, I mean, there's like grown men. Yeah, and that's not new. So it kind of like put up blinders to that, or at least you become numb to the criticism. put up blinders to that, or at least you become numb to the criticism.

I think the anxiety from football came from, like, external factors, not like that. They were more so, like, I remember vividly before games, I used to think, like, I used to remember feeling, like, just this gut-wrenching, like, nervousness, but not because i'm nervous of anything else but like yo like you get really hurt out here like i remember thinking this shit like before every game and i and i played a more physical position so it's like i had to like deliver it or else it defenseman or mean huh defenseman or mean yeah no they let me literally

do just twisting your ankles under piles and shit like that so like you had to like literally like mentally prepare yourself for like fights and wars every sunday and so that i think that after years and years of that my whole life i think it's just starting to like surface and so like i didn't not having that physical outlet um because i got changed like when like I'm a nice, chill dude. But, like, when the lights come on and, like, the adrenaline is pumping and shit, like, I'm not a very nice human. And neither are the dudes that I'm playing against. So, it's like a war.

I know a few fighters who do that same thing. They kind of turn this, like, you know, in the octagon. There's no room for niceness in there. Yep. You got to be dirty. As a matter of fact i found one of my journals this is actually interesting i found one of my journals i was writing when i was in college and it was fascinating to read some of the thoughts that i had

but i i took a screenshot of this because i was it was so like profound to me at the time uh that it said it i it felt like i knew when it clicked when how i knew it clicked it's like me seeing when it clicked when i knew how to be a great football player like i read it like it was like a like a light was on moment and i said uh in this game like you have to play violent you have to be angry you have to play violent because nobody cares and uh what did i say i said something like um uh i'm paraphrasing horribly i wrote it beautifully that's why i took a screenshot of it but it's like you have to like you have to be like in this game that's what i said i said in in this game they don't respect intellect they don't respect anything all they all they respect is pain and it was like like those thoughts from like a 19 20 year old kid like it's just weird to think

like it's just weird like that was my thought early you ever you ever work with new football players you know kids who want to get to a division one school or something um there's some there's some cats like that reach out to me and i try to give them any advice that I can. Uh, but I mean, I don't, I don't have the passion to like change the game. Like I don't, I'm not, I don't really care for football. I was thinking camps or something. Like, I don't even know how lucrative that is, but sometimes football players do that. Okay. I mean, it's, it's money, but it's not nothing that's going to make me get up out of my house. Maybe a girls camp or something like that. A girls football camp? Yeah. to make me get up out of my house like maybe a girl's camp or something like that a girl's football camp yeah maybe i'm just i'm just not into that i'm just not into football like that

oh i'm not into football either it's anxiety attacks is that a driving problem like like that's that's one of the as you were telling me about the matrix and the silver i was like what if that happens behind the wheel is that or do you feel like that not a risk? No, people people go through them like people. One of my good friends, actually, his name is Ross Boland. He has a pretty popular podcast, too. He he reached out when I started kind of publicly talking about panic attacks like a couple of years back. And he was like, I go through it a lot.

And he was like, I've been through this journey and so uh during this last little stint it just had gotten to the point where it was like every single day it was by like i couldn't it bothered me every day and it wasn't something i could just put in the way so i had to address whatever was the underlying issues or however we get better and uh he was telling me like like sometimes like he'll he'll have the attacks and he'll have to pull over on the side of the road and call an ambulance because it's that it's that debilitating to where you feel like there's nothing i can't i can't take this shit like whatever this is like i need i need help and it's just it's just and no matter how much you try to convince yourself it's a panic attack it doesn't it doesn't matter like it's just your

your brain tells you like this attack and so of course you're not going to be able to like talk yourself through it yeah i mean some of them you can honestly some of them you can you can be like it's it's gonna pass it's gonna pass and you have to continue to tell yourself it's gonna pass but then sometimes it's like nah bro this one's not gonna pass we're gonna dive right here i usually go uh i have them pretty, probably twice a year. Um, which is pretty regular for something that makes me go unconscious and collapsing the floor. And it feels like it is anyway, but it's in real stressful situations. Like I would never just randomly have one.

Um, it's always been like just some real heavy shits going on. And, uh, and I would have one i had one i got arrested uh you know for the marijuana thing i had one then uh blacked out during that um but i have sometimes i can stay awake especially if i can get some cold water and throw in my face that always helps like if i can throw cold water in my face that'll kind of snap me right out of it but um i've definitely like completely blacked out and fallen on concrete before. And like, it's not like when you trip and fall and you get your hands out or you can fall in a certain way. I just like felt like a tree getting chopped down.

So I like wake up and my elbows are all scraped the fuck up. And I'm like, yeah, it's bad. Do people understand it or lack empathy? I felt like I had, basically I'm saying this, I think three years ago I didn't understand it like i didn't yeah i felt like i did i felt like it was a fear response when it's almost something different than that yeah it's uh it's your brain not handling fight flight correctly um and uh and just triggering like just a huge adrenaline dump and then your body reacting to that so um yeah it's it's not it's often you know it'll be like an argument like i've got into arguments with people and it

happened and not even with a man like i've got an argument with like a woman before and just get so fucking like stressed out and fucking worked up that the next thing i know every it's like if you stand up too quickly and you kind of get like a brownout, everything starts closing in, closing in, closing in. Extremities going literally numb like you've been sitting, laying on your hands and feet and just got to start hyperventilating, have to sit down. And if I don't get cold water in my face, I'm going out. So that's like the trigger. Does the trigger sit on top of something like a baseline life troubleness you know like like i've had times in my life where i was wealthy in times in my life where i was really pretty poor

um there's some stress and not having any money you know or feeling like your net worth is lower than it was a few years ago like that's a problem um like is that the kind of anxiety that takes you 80 of the way there then you're liable to be not for me not for me it may be for some people but but for me it's it's huge moments it's like dealing with fucking law enforcement and you know getting arrested that was a big one are they all interpersonal conflicts where it happens like with another person something happened you really hate not like oh my god am i gonna pay the whatever oh yeah it's never it's never like like oh no the cable bill's big it's like uh one time like i didn't know they were charging me by the show i bundled i swear i bundled um like i remember i got i had one in high school where like um just getting a got in a shouting match with a guy who was definitely gonna beat the

shit out of me if uh if he wanted to but i you know i didn't want to be a bitch so i was just you know screaming at him like well do it do it do it and like whole time i'm melting down on the inside like literally i'm feeling the panic attack coming and i'm like if he don't knock me out i'm gonna knock myself out there's like a timer ticking down in my brain i'm like i got about 40 seconds of consciousness here and he actually walked away i'm sure not because he was afraid of me just because he didn't want to like get in any more trouble he's standing there sweating bullets going away he probably thought i was very ill but i just went to the bathroom and like sat like flip the toilet seat down and like sat on it and just cold sweat just like barely conscious in

the bathroom for like 10 minutes trying to pull myself back together from that one but there's been a few where i just went completely unconscious hit the fucking ground those like when i feel it coming now i'm smart enough to like find a couch do you always see it coming i've definitely thought in the past that like i've had a panic attack with like I have like a moment of like intense worry and anxiety and like. And then I heard about like Kyle and Arian and people who really get them. And it's like, oh, no, I've never thought I was going to pass out. Like I'll just like maybe start like breathing faster and really, really be worried. But yeah, it's part of them.

And that's what I learned is like it's a spectrum. So it's like it is. And so and so you got to kind of find where you're at and deal with those and so like mine have never been like big moments like like i was like mine is never like like big moments don't bother me unless i mean they bother me but it's not like that's not what triggers them my daughter says hi mine mine are more so uh i mean i i still don't know we're still working through the process of why it's happening but mine is just like an everyday occurrence where it's like it's mild and then like i like i was watching um john wick too i was watching john wick too and all of a

sudden you feel that adrenaline rush it's like a kid you could feel the chemicals go boom and all of a sudden heart goes to 120 130 and you're just sitting there and then you feel like somebody's pressing on your chest can't breathe palms get sweaty it's just like what the fuck is going on you got to try to calm yourself down and it's just like the best debilitating it's like it's just the same question i had another panic attack i had another panic attack during pre-sentencing when they're like listing the charges and the potential maximum sentences because like um what i eventually kyle's laughed about it many times oh yeah it's it's fucking hilarious i know it is

so like i pled to like possession with intent to distribute but they were trying to hit me with a bunch of nonsense like i had a firearm that had been like cerakoted like painted and it made it a little difficult to read the serial numbers so they were trying to hit me with a bunch of nonsense. Like I had a firearm that had been like Cerakoted, like painted. And it made it a little difficult to read the serial numbers. So they were trying to hit me with this federal charge of destroying serial numbers on firearms. And it's like, I didn't even paint the fucking gun. Like a professional like painter painted this gun. And look, you can read them. You just got to like, you know, get the light.

Squint a little bit. Squint a little bit. Like scratch with your fingernail. We can figure this out. I didn't destroy anything it's right there uh but it's a 10-year minute uh minimum uh sentence federal prison and so like that plus like some of the other nonsense they were trying to hit me with was going to add up like 18 years so like we're sitting there well i'm standing there as they read out all these charges and i don't understand how the court system works. For all I know, like the deal is off.

We're hitting you with all of it. But the judge might even be like, you know what he sees? He looks guilty. Look at him. He's sweating. Guilty. 20 years. You know what?

25. Because he just sent a Mexican guy away for 80 years. Like I watched him do it. And so they're listing all those fucking charges. And I lean toward my larynx whisper i'm like i'm gonna hit the floor in definitely less than 90 seconds but probably less than 60 i'm hitting the fucking floor so figure that one out for me how about it that's what you get paid for and he's like can we get a chair for passing out can we get a chair

uh he explains my condition he's like he's got diagnosed ptsd he has panic out can we get a chair uh he explains my condition he's like he's got diagnosed ptsd he has panic attacks can we get this man a chair and they're like yeah yeah get him get him a fucking chair they brought me a fucking chair so now i'm sitting there now i look super guilty right they just list the charges and i'm fainting and uh yeah it did not look like god what a horror i don't even want to think about putting myself in that position because that would be so scary because you're not like uh you're not an attorney you are just sitting there like 10 years for this 30 years for this and in your head you're like adding up like i don't know how many years i have left but it's

not this many yeah 58 at a certain point i kill myself right like i'm not going away for 20 years i'm not i'm gonna kill myself i just am i'm not doing 20 years for a half ounce of weed though yeah yeah i have the same question for you that like do you feel like life's pressure takes you halfway to an anxiety attack like you know you've got some stephen jackson judgment headed against you right now and and you're like, fuck, you know. All it takes is John Wick to push you over the edge. No. And that's the thing.

I'm an everyday, like, regular, like, happy-go-lucky, nothing-bothers-me type dude. But I think how I've dealt, like, so if like a woman that I love in my life, if she cries, like my mother or, you know, my ex lady, if she cries, like my first gut reaction is to laugh. Like, and that sounds horrible, but it's over my life and the trauma that I felt, like, that's how I, that's how I respond to pain is just laugh. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I laugh.

And so everything. It's very inappropriate at times. It's just laugh. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I laugh. And so everything. It's very inappropriate at times. It's super unusual. Lots of people. Yeah. So I had to explain to my ex one time because she started crying. I was like, oh, man. Like that type of shit.

And she was like, and that. That's so disrespectful. I'm like, listen, like, it's not you. It's just that's how I compartmentalize what's going on. it's just that's how i that's how i compartmentalize what's going on and i think over the years of me doing that like pain after pain after pain that it's just me pushing shit down and and maybe i just haven't learned how to deal with the shit that i've actually gone through because like when i was talking to like my psychiatrist and i'm a lot more open about this type of shit than i used to be in the past like in the past, I avoided this whole conversation.

That's good. But it's healthy to talk about this shit. So I was talking to my psychiatrist and I was, you know, as we're talking, like all these memories of like my childhood are popping up that I know about, but I just don't, they're just not there in my everyday life. But like, I've never really like explored them. Like, how did it make me feel like that type of shit. And so as we're digging into my childhood, a lot more of that shit is starting to pop

up and maybe that's helping. I know in this last month I've felt a lot better than I have. I still get them and it's still, the presence is still there, but I think this is just going to be a process. Yeah. I, uh, I had court mandated, um, like drug counseling. And, uh, so they sent me to a psychiatrist and she was like, I explained the situation. She's like, well, that's bullshit, huh?

And I'm like, yeah, I'm glad you agree. I was like, I don't have a fucking drug problem. I just like smoking weed. Um, you know, I, I like, I like, I like doing dabs. Eating fucking brownies. Smoking dabs. I like rolling artistic joints. It's a hobby for me. I enjoy it.

But I haven't smoked in six months or whatever it was at the time. I don't have any withdrawals. I'm not shaking. I don't have the fucking shakes. I want some weed, but I haven't smoked in six months or whatever it was at the time. I don't have any withdrawals. Like, like I'm not shaking. I don't have the fucking shakes. Like, like I want some weed, but I don't have the pot shivers.

You didn't get, I don't have the pot shivers. All right. And she's like, yeah, of course not. Marijuana is only addicted for like 1% of the people on the fucking planet. But you have PTSD.

You want to work on that? And I'm like, Oh yeah, let's do that. And I feel so like, like just doing talk therapy and doing this form of hypnotism that she was into was super

fucking effective like doing this like yeah she was a she was great I think she wanted me to fuck her with her with her husband there I think I think they were into that the cuckold dinner what's up Debbie

if you were if you hadn't been 58 I'd have been down there. I think they were into that. The cuckold dinner? What's up, Debbie? If you hadn't been 58, I'd have been down. You know what would have been funny is if you think it's a cuckold scenario, but it's a threesome scenario. I think it's one or the other. I couldn't tell. MF. Not the same as

MFM. Yeah, don't get that confused, boys and girls. You guys told me that? I did not know. That's a good life tip. Oh, you figured it out. So male, female. Whoa, all right. That kind of party. Hey, tell Arian. Male, female, male is the threesome you're probably thinking of, Arian.

But when the two M's are next to each other, M-M-F, that's a bi thing. Male, male male female yeah yeah male male female means there's gonna be male male contact and male female contact so like you're gonna be blowing him while you fuck her or something like that potentially that you know the pieces all fit together in a lot of different ways i need a PSA about this. This is confusing. Yeah, but male-female-male means the girl is between the two boys. Male-male-female, really anything goes. So if you're soliciting things online,

this is important information. It's an important search string in porn. Get what you want, all right? How about MFFFM? You need a lot of separation in there. I've never heard of that. I guess

my go-to when I search porn is mature, actually. You mentioned that last time. You're like Debbie. Debbie might have got it, dog. Debbie looked like she did Pilates or something. She was put together pretty well. Nice. I still got her card. jam yeah you might have got it dog debbie looked like she did pilates or something she was she was put together pretty well nice like all the women got a card how old is older for you at this point

old enough that there's no fifth kid so yeah you gotta have five kids or above no i think uh 40s and 50s it must be i guess when i get 40s and 50s is my speed. I guess when I get 40s and 50s, I don't see me not being into 40s and 50s. It just is what it is. But I don't – so I'm recently single. Remember this girl hits me up. Congratulations. Thank you for that. This girl hits me up, and we were kind of talking through the dms and um

so i asked her like you saw how old are you she's like oh i'm 20 i'm like oh no i gotta go she's like what do you mean i'm legal i'm like yeah but that's 13 years though how old's your mom yeah right i'll holler at your moms but nah i can't like younger girl even like 25 24 any like 25 younger it's just not appealing to me for some reason i don't know why that is let's let's explore that because i'm really curious like is it the conversation is it their favorite activities is it like they just feel dumb i mean i don't want to that's that's a bit arrogant i'm not like that i mean i just find that like older women i guess they do hold a little bit better conversations um there's not a lot of games

being involved like so it's like when you talk to younger women like you have to like play that game that then do i have to whine and dine you or i have to like pretend that i like you like that or like is there a possibility of a future like like that's not what this is i'm just enjoying my day and if you want to be a part of that enjoyment then we're good but if not like it is what it is you know one way in which i think women improve this general statement but they self-entertain a little better right in my observation and life experience, 18-year-olds, 20-year-olds,

they're following you. They're hangers-on who are like, what are we going to do today? What should we do? Entertain me. Like a 47-year-old, that's my wife, can occupy herself for some period of time. It's like a puppy becoming an adult dog.

That's exactly what I was going to say. That's the phrasing I've been looking for that whole time. It's like a puppy becoming an adult dog. That's exactly what I was going to say. That's the phrasing I've been looking for that whole time. It's like a puppy becoming an old dog and really liking supernatural now. So you don't have to hang around with her so much. You're not going to believe this. 22 episodes a season, 12 seasons. I'll see you next year.

Yo, that's another thing not related to this that randomly like through this whole anxiety episodic stint I'm in I got really into like trash ass reality TV shows

and like let's see so 60 days in I didn't see that one it was in my search bar. Temptation Island. I watched both seasons of Temptation Island. Really trash. It's all trash, but it's really good.

I think I went on just an island thing, so I went to the Love Island. You watch that and you take away the man. It's the island. That's the linchpin here. I think I'm going to watch Survivor next time? You're watching Lost. You're like, you know, nobody's winning anything, but I'm digging the island thing.

The fat guy's clearly stealing the food. I tried to watch another one where they spawn on an island and they wake up and nobody knows who each other is. They don't know who they are. I forget which one that is. Oh, shit. I can't think of it either. I'm aware of it. It was pretty good.

It kind of got kind of corny towards the end. But it was a good show. But it was an island. Castaway is a good number. It wasn't Lost, bro. That's not it. Movie The Island with Sean B. No, this is a fictional thing.

Do you like the survival? Well, Lost is real. Oh, no, Lost is... I thought you meant Survivor. Yeah. Or I heard Survivor, but you obviously said Lost. Do you like any of those survival type shows where they send them out in the wilderness? Yeah, so I've

seen pretty much all of the Naked and Afraid. There's a new one coming. I loved them. And so I even watched the XXL one where they do 40 days and 40 nights. Oh, I thought they were going to do fat people. That's what I was thinking also.

And I was like, this is actually way less. This is not fair. I've watched that too. Dude, I love Naked and Afraid. I may have seen them all. Arian, you're on Naked afraid choose your environment oh man okay definitely definitely not the swamps right no i'm not fucking with africa i'm not fucking with no lions fuck no okay uh i think i think i would have to go with that Amazon

like some kind of lots of big bugs I am not agreeing my number one concern for me bugs number two is the sun because I'm pale as fuck and I burn

I don't understand why people don't go to the ditch bank, grab the mud, and put it on your shoulders. That's what animals do. They don't ever do it. I don't understand. This mud really smells awful. And the flies love it.

Am I protecting them from that too? SPF shit, I think no desert's actually my scene it so based on my watching of the show well the desert people do well i would have thought desert was terrible just like you did and i worry about the sun like cow but they find some please arab americans wait what did i say oh no desert people yeah but i bet the people in the desert they're not even arabs anyway the show that's like legit africa like the show contestants in the desert do well is what i'm trying to say and uh um the bugs like the amazon i would have thought amazon is a place where

you just build a hammock and pick all the bananas that practically drop in your lap no no they get eaten by bugs and there is no way to combat that right you can't swat off bugs they don't succeed so well so i'm doing rainforest they never seem to get the fire going in the rainforest wet and rotten yeah everything's wet and rotten and whatever fire starting techniques they have they get they work in the desert but they don't work in the rainforest yeah i wouldn't want a deciduous i i'm sorry to interrupt you if you but i just want to throw in there like my pick would be like a deciduous forest kind of like like georgia like like where we went like like all right bugs are a thing but firewood is plentiful there is fucking shade and despite what happened to us you give me a month and i'd have found some food

the cookie man will show up maybe and we did this survival trip in the georgia wilderness and like we're fucking starving dude like we brought 22 rifles and we're trying to kill squirrels how long had it been and cook squirrels it i don't know three days and rifles and we're trying to kill squirrels how long had it been and cook squirrels it i don't know three days and uh and we're trying to kill but we're being active you know it's it's three days of like hiking and like like building our little like like chopping like might have been day two it might have been day one in any case um i'm i'm out looking for squirrels and this and we're in like this wilderness park area and a guy pulls by

in a truck because there's like dirt roads back there and it's very odd to see another human being out there so I'm just like hey hey and he's like hey how's it going I'm the muffin man and like basically his thing was his family him and his wife owned a bakery in the town that was like

20 miles away and they would go out there and give away the expired baked goods to campers and i was just like he's literally i'm i'm super fucking hungry i'm looking for a rodent to kill and eat and this man showed up with cookies and muffins asking me if i wanted some and i was just like this counts as foraging motherfuckers yes this counts as foraging, motherfuckers. This counts as foraging. Yes. Please. And he had like, it was like when you go to the grocery store and they have those paper boxes of cookies with the clear plastic on top. And you open it up like a donut box. He had those full of M&M cookies.

And he's just giving them away. I come back to the camp. It was, I don't know how we'd have made it without those cookies. We didn't find any food. There was no other food to be found. And at first, I didn't believe Kyle that he had just met a muffin man in the woods.

Oh, you wouldn't believe it. Oh, no, I didn't go to a bakery and pick all these up. I'm sure you didn't. I'm sure you didn't. But here's what happened. I'm like you killed a family or something i'm suspicious of the story now we had a cameraman now the cameraman had food he wasn't part of the survival thing and he's like no he's telling the truth i met the muffin man too i turned down the muffins and it's like you bitch you the guy with food turns down the muffins but

the rest of us yeah so I'm glad Kyle brought the muffins and cookies there was no circumstances which in which I was gonna be like no thank you sir I haven't eaten 48 hours and I've been hiking for two days straight and I slept in a hammock last night while bugs ate me, but no M&M cookies for me. The fans might not like it. That's actually what's interesting to me. When those people for either 21 days or 40 days, when they finish their little stint in the

forest, they have this table full of junk food for them. I don't understand that, though. Why would you not give them good food to help? But your body, because I think initially I don't understand that though. Why would you not give them good food? Because that's what you're craving. But your body... Because I think initially fasting is actually good for the body.

It is. When you come off of fasting, you should introduce your body to good nutrients in order to reset some of the systems. There was Doritos. Because when you've been starving like that, your body really starts

craving super high-caloric, concentrated foods, things with lots of fat in them and lots of sugar in them. It knows what those things are from stomach memory. When I was in prison, I was craving fajitas. More than that, I just wanted sugar.

I wanted sugar i wanted sugar so bad i wanted so i wanted like cakes and cookies and ice cream and bullshit like that but i think that's it i remember one time my favorite thing that survivor ever did they could never get away with this nowadays but they had there's maybe eight ten of them left and they had them out in the ocean standing on like poles that were jutting out of the water just big enough for a person to stand on top of and jeff probes you know the the host of the show he's on like a little barge that's like floated out there like sitting all pretty you know all comfortable and the last person left standing on one of these poles gets immunity they can't be

voted off that night so it's a big fucking deal and he starts tempting them with like treats and uh you know if if you'll uh and then it changed at first you might think he said all right if you jump off you get five oreos and then and i think somebody might have jumped but then later on he was like you know what uh if you take your tops off i'll give you five oreos and some peanut butter and like he literally said this and it was like what i mean i mean i'm down but what and the girls look at each other there's like two hot girls left who are even hotter now because they've been starved for like three weeks and they look like mma fighters like like on the on the way in day

right oh you hush up erin you know he's right way hotter now that they're starved what do you type what do you type in on the porn thing anorexia non-consent don't judge i like bulimia better those girls have throat control so so they're all gone they're like cheeks are hollowed out and they're already hot chicks because they picked them for you know the biggest reality show in the world and the girls look at each other like how about we both get topless and we split those oreos and peanut butter and and and like jeff is like yeah that'll work yeah yeah

yeah both of you and maybe uh yeah that'll work and so they both just get fucking topless right there they may have taken their bottoms off they may have got completely fucking butt naked right there in front of the dudes and everything and just like titties are out and then they jumped in the water swam over and ate peanut butters and oreo topless and it was the greatest thing i've ever seen in a reality show most fingers yeah that could have been recent that had to been like oh 10 years ago yeah because that's that's not where we're at i got me too hard right there by jeff post yeah we're not there anymore survivor go to his head guys keep standing women you come to the beach just start making out i'm gonna go there anymore. Survivor go to his head. You don't forget the whole thing. Guys keep standing. Women, you come to the beach and just start making out.

I'm going to go order food. We'll get some Italian. I have some chunky peanut butter on my cock. All you can eat, ladies. All you can eat. Jump off that stick. Onto a new one.

He did that shit. It was ridiculous. Okay, so for survival, Jump off that stick onto a new one. Yeah, he did that shit. It was ridiculous. That's wild. Okay, so for survival, so I don't know if y'all ever watched 40 Days and 40 Nights or Regular Naked and Afraid. Each person that you get coupled up, and you can only take one survival item. You can only pick one. So what is y'all's? What would you pick?

Like one survival item. Oh, it depends on the environment, too. They all get a stat, right? You can only pick one. What is y'all's? What would you pick? One survival item. It depends on the environment, too. They all get a satchel, right? No. Oh, yeah, the satchel. I think you got to have a knife. You just got to have a knife.

I think knife is good. Knife's a popular one. The satchel's what they use to carry the mic in is what I really realized. It's the battery pack. They they use to carry the mic in is what i what i really realized it's the battery pack but i mean you they use it to do stuff but it's like they carried them and then they give them those necklaces everybody has those necklaces that's where the mic is it took me like two seasons to figure that shit out that's cool though yeah i um oftentimes they turn the satchel into clothes they'll turn it into some sort of modesty garment or what i don't understand is like why i would fuck that satchel like you would fuck the satchel huh i would say i would say oh it's chasing so bad

why do these have to be burlap filled with coconut water nah i would say fuck that satchel and like put uh like tie it around my feet somehow because like that's that that'd be a big obstacle dudes don't like. They're tiptoeing around the whole show. If you're on the beach, maybe not. Maybe you've got some other priority. Yeah. I would wrap it around my head because

that shit would be hot. You could soak it in water, throw it on your head. For this scenario, we're in the Amazon. You're still getting cut off. Okay. Oh, it's okay. It didn't fix it.

Oh, my bad. I cut him off? No, no, no. Go for it. It's a tech thing. It's a Discord thing. For some reason, Kyle and I can talk at the same time, but no one in Taylor can talk at the same time, and he always loses.

And we tried something new to fix it, but it's not fixed. It's an upsetting thing. No big deal. But, yeah, go with what you're saying. Okay. So in this scenario, we're in're in the amazon you can only bring one survival item what was everybody bringing i'm bringing my knife i gotta have the knife because i figure like with the knife i can do some other stuff like even if i brought a fire starter i think i'm gonna have a hard time with the tender and i'm gonna have nothing but maybe with a knife you know i could cut some vines if i want to try to make myself

some kind of bullshit hammock i could like cut some wood if i do find wood to make some sort of fire um and maybe i could do that like thing they do with the the bow and the the the like post where they oh yeah do like a friction fire like Like, like I've, I've tried that before and felt terribly. Um, I've made plenty of fires with Flint and steel, but, uh, you know,

if the knife, you know, I have had knives that had the Flint, uh, attached to the base of them. So you could like a striker that you can hit with the blade. It seems like cheating. I'll admit.

Um, but with the knife, the knife does everything. If I could get a two for one, I'd go for that if i could only have one because your partner gets to bring one too i would bring the fire starter and hope that she brought a cup maybe something a steel cup or whatever hot yeah yeah because um it turns out carrying things with more than just your fingers like that's a big

thing when all the all the nuts and berries and such, like having a pot, it's really helpful. I guess the burlap sack helps. And the fire turns inedible things into edible things. Like there are all sorts of meats that are only safe after you cook them. There's water that's only safe after you heat it. Water, yeah. So I like the flint a lot. And if I could pick two, I'd add a cup.

And I'm a knife guy, but it might be my third favorite. That makes sense. Also, I haven't tried it, actually, but I suspect I could sharpen a rock into something cut-ish, you know? Angled-ish, enough to cut twine or something. Do you think there'd be any benefits, like a hatchet over the knife, Kyle? No. No, because you lose some of the stuff that the knife can do, but you really don't gain much because you can

with a good, legit knife, like one of those Rambo-type knives, those SOG knives that we took, those big boys, you can really chop down trees that are like this. You're never going to be chopping down big trees anyway. Just get an enormous knife then and hope that your

partner brings a pot. That's got to be the best one. I think knife and pot are top two for sure. Starting a fire without a fire starter is super tricky. Super tricky. You'd want to try to get that skill

down beforehand. super tricky like like that would be that you'd want to try to get that skill um beforehand down beforehand um there were there have been people on the show who have that skill down and then they're like you know i thought i was good but it turns out i always do this in yosemite where there's a ton of dry wood and it's basically a desert and you know i take the same skill to the amazon and i can't start fires anymore yeah if you don't have tinder you're fucked you know it's like there's so much tinder in georgia for example like there's trees that just give off like that dry spanish moss is that spanish moss is great that's southern georgia um bird nests bird nests would be good um or if you bring yourself some dryer

lint with you like i did that'll really get the thing some dryer lint with you like I did, that'll really get the thing going. Dryer lint? Yeah, you know, you clean out the lint trap with your dryer. That stuff's amazing. What if you just packed your belly button with it, claiming it was your normal condition and went on the show? That works. I mean, maybe

I fill my whole prison pocket up with a few of those, right? They're like, Kyle has a whole kitchenette over there. Kyle, the knife is kind of sticking out. Is that normal? Where did he keep the cutting board is what I want to know.

An instant pot. You got a whole cheese plate going over there. I'm sweating bullets. Is that a whole salamiami i really prioritized the pot and this is hard on me can we get started what was the dumbest thing anybody ever brought on that show oh um that you can remember so i bet people bring some really retarded shit yeah and I think one time a dude brought a fishing line. Did he bring a fishing kit with a hook?

Oh, one lady brought duct tape. I got you. So I Googled this. A big-ass roll of duct tape. So I'm not very familiar with the show, but I Googled this. A big-ass roll of deck tape. So I'm not very familiar with the show, but I Googled your question. Apparently in season one, this guy named Clint brought some goggles. I remember the show. I remember that one.

It was like an island. They were on an island. He didn't want to swim in the ocean without goggles. So the partner, I remember the partner saw that and they're like the fuck i'm gonna trust you but you you gotta get these fish man this is what you brought they were pissed it ain't gonna be aquaman under there or i'm gonna murder you on this island it's fun to see the different skill sets on that show naked and afraid i saw one and uh they show up and there's a guy there

and the guy's muscled so if you're wired like me like your initial impression is like oh fuck this is a formidable human right he's going to be helpful and it's like an island environment and the girl she's hot which you know is fine and everything but this is a survival uh you know problem here and she's not ranking initially my slide whistles going out for her anyway the guy can't deal with sun at all he gets wildly burnt to the point he's pretty much a disabled person who needs to go in the shade and heal for days and the girl initially she's like weaving together clothing out of leaves and you're like this is some horseshit here like we gotta get clean water anyway she comes through big she's making the dude sombreros and things

and and like she saved the day with that weaving skill and this cock ring is incredible honey wow that other lady would have been taping leaves to him with the duct tape did you see that one do you know the one i'm thinking of and exactly what you're talking about it was on it was on a beach they were on a beach and he was like big as hell and he was like he was kind of confident at first yes and which way the issue was yeah the issue was like she was like like you're exerting too much energy on the first day and he was out there cutting some big ass log like and he spent all day in the sun ended up burning his ass and he couldn't move for

like a day or two somebody brought a magnifying glass oh yeah that's not just a sex toy it's a fire starter yeah they and they were pissed it took it took them like three or four days to start the fire or something like that but they were like the other person was pissed because i was like dog this is what you brought and you didn't... One guy brought a slingshot and then I think they brought that same guy back for the XL version of the show. So he brought a blowgun the second time around.

He was so dedicated to try to kill something. Either of those things? I was saying, did he kill anything with either of those not the slingshot no it was funny seeing him drive that was fucking hilarious he was literally out here in the forest trying to do this shit shots and blow guns trying to kill shit no there was um no there was a swamp environment one i saw which was pretty neat now this guy had a knack for getting food and he would kill these snakes

that must have weighed 40 pounds and been 12 feet long and and just i don't know he'd just wreck them and the hard part was finding the snakes but if you if he got eyesight on a snake he would he would bring back enough food for both of them to eat well and i read about like a behind the scenes type thing they didn't like give him the snake or help him kill the snake or anything but if the crew spotted it or maybe they were small alligators or something whatever it was yeah if the crew spotted it they'd be like yo hey i don't know lewis cayman was it cayman oh they'd be like yeah there's there's a cayman you know 150 feet that way and he so i brought up the the survival show thing because there's a new one coming out.

With my favorite survivalist, Les Stroud, because he's the legit guy. You know, he's the survivor man. He'd go out there by himself, completely alone, film everything himself, unlike Bear Grylls, who had a camera crew and a lot of fake shit. Hotel rooms. Hotel rooms, fake setups, making things more dangerous than they needed to be, or at least look more dangerous than they needed to be. There was a lot of fake shit. Hotel rooms. Hotel rooms, fake setups, making things more dangerous than they needed to be or at least look more dangerous than they needed to be. There was a lot of bullshit going on.

I found it entertaining, but Lestrad was the legit guy. The only thing a little crazy about him is he believes in Bigfoot and believes he once saw Bigfoot. That's the only crazy thing about that man. Anyway, he's doing a new survival show that's a competition. Taking NHL players.

What? Yeah. I thought you two would have particularly liked this. Yeah, I woke up for that, too. He's taking NHL players out in the goddamn wilderness. Ex-NHL players, maybe? There's no way teams are going to be cool with like, oh, yeah, dude, you put a lot of asses in the arena.

Go eat bugs. Yeah. Here's the link to it. It's a YouTube trailer for it. So, so I, you know, I know how that goes, but, uh, it looks like it's less drought survival challenge. And, um, and the opening moments, he says, less takes a group of NHL hockey players doesn't say former out to the wilderness to see if they have what it takes to survive. Wait, is that Phil Kessel? No, that can't be.

Are you at like 33 seconds? Like 18. Oh, these guys are ex-players. Yeah. They don't look old to me. I'm sure they're still in great shape. Yeah. I watched a thing with Les Stroud the other day, and he was on Kodiak Island,

which is an island just south of mainland Alaska. It's where they have these Kodiak bears, which are an offset breed of brown bear. They're like the biggest bears in the world, essentially. They're gargantuan. They just eat salmon all day, every day,

and get fucking huge. He was 20 feet away from them. He's just walking up to them with a camera like, hey, bear. The bear's just like, you're lucky I'm eating. Got all this salmon. We'll just stay right there. I'm almost done

they're just watching him like running up to him and he's just like no what you want to do here is keep your voice at an even tone but if you get too close be a little aggressive no bear no and I'm like

somebody better have a fucking 12 gauge behind this guy while he bullshits about how to talk what tone to talk to a fucking apex predator in did you say what kind of kodiak i don't know those those are like those are like grizzly bears right uh i don't think i i think they're i think they're brown bears that only exist on Kodiak Island, which is just south of mainland Alaska. Oh, fuck no. And because they live on that island, they are much bigger than regular brown bears.

They're fucking huge. I thought polar bears were the biggest. I did too. I once scared away a brown bear. It's on YouTube somewhere. Yeah, polar bear's the biggest. Fucking knew it. It was kind of cool. The brown bear was like

it was literally stealing someone's picnic basket. And we all ran up to it and started yelling and we banged on pots and pans and we told him to leave. And he left with the picnic basket. You only hear about the stories where it works. Otherwise, you're just in a

bear's stomach being shit all over the place. Y'all did that to save the picnic basket? Dude, brown bears are not that scary. They're just like big badgers or something. No, no, no. You're thinking of black bears. Black bears are the small ones. Right.

I may be. I may be. Whatever's in Yosemite. There's grizzly bears, too, in Yosemite, and it was not that. All bears are scary. There are no bitch bears. This isn't cancer, all right? There are no this isn't cancer all right there are no dude the bear acted like a real version of a bear ever ever yell at a dog and he like hangs his head

low and he feels kind of ashamed because he knows he's misbehaved that's what this bear was doing bro i'm just googling pictures of bears now like that never in a thousand years would i take your advice no no aaron you just have to yell no in an even tone what you want to do is right at the bear growling we were yelling things like bad bear go away oh you hurt his feelings we did yeah he looked like his feelings were hurt bear i kindly ask you to bring all of my calf muscle back please don't i don't need it that's the best part of the human were hurt. Bear, I kindly ask you to bring all of my calf muscle back. Please, don't eat it.

That's the best part of the human. Whenever I get out of this probation, I'm going to get myself a nice bow and I'm going to go shoot a bear in Colorado. That's going to be my first. Yeah, I want to go. Who can you shoot right back in jail? With a bow.

I grew up bow hunting and shooting archery tournaments a little bit, You should be right back in jail. With a bow. Yeah, I grew up bow hunting and shooting archery tournaments a little bit. So I'm pretty good with a bow. I haven't done it in years, but I'll pick it right back up, I'm sure. But I want to go hunting with a bow. I want to kill a bear. And I'm going to make one of those like rugs you see in movies. Why do you want to kill a bear, bro?

Because I want the skin and the head. I want to make a big rug. You can make a bear sauce. But why, though? Why not, man? Because he ain't doing nothing to you, man. He's over here right now. I'm going to do something to him.

He's just chilling. He's probably in a stream right now. He better bring it because I'm coming. In a year or two, along comes Kyle with a fucking bow. I'm the bad guy in this scenario. I promise you. He better be looking the fuck out because I'm coming. I got my bow. I got my arrow. I'm going to be up in the tree. If you use the parts of them and actually eat them

and don't just leave a bunch to rot, you're not the bad guy. I'm leaving it all to rot. That's for sure. Yeah, definitely. You're spitefully being hunter. Even if someone asks for it, like they want to eat it, I'm going to like ruin it so that no one can use it.

I'd rather throw it away than let anyone eat it. I'm an anti-ecologist. That's what I'm going for here. I really forget how big bears are. Like this shit is... Recipes for bear meat. What do we got? Yeah, I want to kill the biggest bear I can possibly kill

It's really expensive I mean you know not prohibitively expensive But thousands of dollars Big bear chili Big bear stew A lot of stews Yeah I'm probably not going to eat the bear I just want it's skin

Why not just eat the bear Maybe if I kill a baby bear I'll eat that Bro you going to kill a baby bear I'll eat that bro you gonna kill a baby bear bro well yeah no I don't think you can do that yeah you can why do you think baby bears are impervious to death Taylor it's because there's actually

there's too many of them there's too many bears I want to do like I want to get them both mounted and do like a yogi and boo boo type thing like he's like holding a picnic basket by my fire hey boo boo I want to get them both mounted and do like a Yogi and Boo Boo type thing. He's like holding a picnic basket by my fire. Hey, Boo Boo. Let's go get some picnic baskets.

I don't know, Yogi. Then you blow his fucking bear head off. Except the bow. It wouldn't be that damaged. Who blows a head off with a bow? I forgot it was a bow for a minute. I wonder if i can make those you can give them like a cool glass eye oh like i mean i guess they'll still they'll both be

glass eyes but i mean they should be artistic glass eyes like if fortnight they have those um i don't know if this is like an actual thing or it's just a video game thing they they tie like they i mean it's a fortnight they don't do it, but they have those shotgun shells attached to the end of a bow and arrow, and you shoot them, and it explodes. Is that a thing or no? No, that doesn't work. I've made exploding arrows before, but you don't do it like that.

How would you make that? I probably shouldn't tell you how to make a bomb here on YouTube. No, probably not, man. You're on probation. Oh, regardless of probation but you know i did i i have a video you know up um it was the rage video where i made those exploding arrows so you like a true outdoorsman i wouldn't say that at all i mean i grew up hunting in the woods and stuff but but I don't enjoy being...

I like hunting. I've done that a lot, and I've been in the woods a lot, but I wouldn't say I'm an outdoorsman at all. What's the craziest thing you didn't kill? Nothing crazy. Just mostly deer. I did a lot of bow hunting. Hunting deer with bow,

coyotes, foxes, lots of birds, stuff like that. Mostly archery, a lots of birds stuff like that mostly mostly a lot of gun stuff i don't i don't got the heart for it you've never hunted before arian i can't i can't do it i told myself i was gonna do it but like i keep backing out because like i remember going fishing when i was like 16 or 15 and i caught a fish. And we put it in a little bucket, and he was gasping for air.

And I threw him back. I felt horrible. Yeah, I started feeling bad. I started hunting when I was about seven with a rifle. And I hunted until I was probably 15 years old. And I started really bad for him. Um, cause I had gotten so good with a rifle that like there was, it didn't feel sporting anymore. Like if I saw the deer, then I could kill the deer. Uh, it didn't really matter where it was cause I could shoot really far accurately. So, you know, if he's 500 yards away, I'm, I'm just going to zap him. So it didn't seem fair. So I stopped hunting with a rifle then and started only doing bow hunting. Um, and then he's definitely got a

fair chance cause he's going to be 10 to 50 feet from me and he can smell really well, see really well here really well. And I'm up in a fucking tree and I've got to like draw a bow back and hit him with a fucking arrow in the heart of the lungs or he's going to get away. It's hard. Jesus. And then you get to eat them. Yeah, they taste good.

Deer actually does taste good. I've had deer before. Cut the liver out. You eat it right there raw. Really? No. I wouldn't know, man. You're like, God damn.

Kyle takes you on a big first time hunting trip. He's like, no, we've all done this. You seen the movie Apocalypto? I was about to say. There's a great scene in Apocalypto. They kill this boar out in the jungle. And there's one man in the crowd who's never had a son or a child, and they think he's infertile.

And so the leader, the old man of the group, he's cutting pieces of the pig off and awarding it to each warrior. Ton, ton, you get the butt. And Billy, you get the ribs. And butt and billy you get the ribs and big dave the testicles and everybody's like oh shit and big dave's looking at the testicle he's like really again come on now we've all done it jimmy's done it haven't you jimmy jimmy like, I have eight sons. And he's like, fuck, eight, huh? He's like, yeah, that's right. And he just takes these raw boar testicles and just takes the biggest stringy, tough, gnarly bite and tears it off and chews it up and starts vomiting.

And they all start laughing because none of them have ever eaten boar testicles. They've never even seen such a thing happen before. Certainly not raw. That's just an old-timey practical joke. And then the old man doubles down at that point. He's like, we were fucking with you about the boar testicles, but what you really want

he pulls out a pouch, like a leather pouch. These leaves right here. You want to grind these up and rub them all over down there. Right? He's like, for real? He's like, how many sons do I have? Think about it there right he's like for real he's like how many sons do i have think about it and he's like thank you and he's so appreciative thank you so much thank you so much i'm going back home right now and he like goes home right then his mother-in-law is calling him

a piece of shit because he's got no kids he's like get in there and fuck literally like like sending him into the tent to go fuck her daughter. And the daughter's like, hey, big boy, you back? And goes in there. Like 10 minutes later, you just hear screaming. And they both run out of their fucking tent or whatever. And she's washing her mouth out because she's been sucking his dick. And he just sits in a trough of water, washing his dick.

He gave him chili pepper leaves or something. You've never seen Apocalypse 10? Oh yeah, that movie's awesome. I love that movie. It's not available for streaming for free anywhere, which stuns me. I bought it a while back. I think I'm just going to buy it. I haven't seen it since it came out. It might be on Amazon right now.

I remember loving it. I got it on Apple. Apple TV. That's the only thing got it on Apple. Apple TV. That's the only thing I don't have. Apple TV? Yeah. I don't have that one. I'm already paying so much. I've got Hulu and Netflix and HBO and Showtime and Starz and Amazon

Prime and Disney+. I had to get Disney+. I did too. It's got all that Disney shit on there it's got all the Marvel stuff and I like the National Geographic stuff yeah it's not as good when you're sober honestly I like watching like

I really like that was my favorite thing when I could smoke is like me and my girlfriend would watch like that Neil deGrasse Tyson stuff like about space yes that's bro the Cosmos I used to watch high all the time that was our jam so so this was not to cut you off though no this this was my aha moment in science and where i went over the edge with being a extreme like science like nerd was when i was high and i was actually this was in

the cosmos but i was watching this documentary on einstein and they were explaining general theory of relativity and it finally clicked like it clicked what that shit actually was like because you kind of understand like you kind of hear about it why einstein was brilliant you kind of know what he gravity you know whatever but it finally they showed this like this graphic where he had to like uh prove that space-time was a thing and so the way he proved it was like he predicted that starlight would bend because the mass of the sun was so heavy and when they showed that graphic it it just clicked to me. Like, you have an aha moment. I was high as shit. I was like, dog, this is insane what he figured out.

Like, it is wild. You can see stars that are behind the disk of the sun because space-time is bending around the sun. Just the force of the gravity is moving light. Yeah, me and my girlfriend loved that shit. That's what we would do. That was my favorite show neil degrice tyson's uh cosmos which uh seth mcfarland helped produce because nobody wanted to fund that shit i wish they'd make a sequel to it yeah he was actually he was on my podcast and we talked about it like oh that's so cool you

got to talk to him yeah it's dope it's. Did you talk about those photos of him back in the day where he's fucking ripped and he's dancing and stuff in the club? You ever seen that? I have seen him, yeah. I think he was working out though, the picture I've seen. I haven't seen him dancing in a club. Oh, he can break it down. He's like the John Travolta

of science. He's got some moves. I think Neil deGrasse Tyson's straight. Well, look, forget John Travolta's proclivities all right john travolta's gay um yeah but and he's also very bald but we don't talk about either of those things because he doesn't want us to talk about him he's a private man clearly he doesn't want to be out all right look if you're gay you're gay it's cool john how do we know he's gay? A lot of masseuses, male masseuses. Well, I see masseur.

A masseuse is a woman. A masseur would be a man. A couple of male masseurs. That's a fact you just had in the arsenal. That's an amazing fact you just have in the canon right there, bro. He's got a lot of massagers. I see a lot of masseurs in myself.

There's a little John Travolta in all of us. A little more of John Travolta in some of us, unfortunately. But yeah, he was grabbing these masseurs while they were giving a massage, and I guess they complained. There's been a few stories about John over the years, I guess. But he doesn't want to be out. He's not out. It's cool. But... He's not.

Or maybe he's just a really weird straight guy. I mean, I don't know about straight guys who grope other dudes. I know. This isn't an ass slap in the locker room. This is him grabbing their junk during a massage, you know? Yeah, that's true. It is more compelling it's

interesting how we draw that line though right like like i i made that little little comparison you're like yeah of course i mean you slap another man's ass in locker room no big deal right you know you slap a little ass but then i was just like you know it's not like grab some balls in a massage oh that's completely different no no no no you never have that grab the back not the front i did not like when people would slap my ass in baseball. I was like... You had clothes on when they're like, hey, Kyle, good hit, good hit, and you're coming back into the

dugout or whatever? No, no. At the coach's house in the basement. It was just like... It seems a little unnecessary. Coach Johnson, are the straps necessary? Yeah. I mean, I just never understood. This is to teach

mental toughness. He said, you know, this is what the pros do. He would always say that. He wouldn't be a pro, right, son? And I did.

I guess I didn't. I never really thought about that, actually. It was just like always a part of the culture, not the strategy, but like,

just like slapping ass. Like, it was just like, shit, boy, like, good shit, boy. I don't know. I remember one time we were playing Baltimore and we were driving to tie the game.

I made this dope play to where I made two dudes miss and we didn't have any timeouts. It was dope. I made Ed Reed miss and then I jumped to get out of bounds, but it was really close and the ref stopped the clock. So he saw that I was out of bounds and I slammed the ball down. I slapped the ref in the ass. I was like, good shit.

Just instinct. It's just part of the culture. I guess I never really thought about. Yeah. Did he just kind of look at you like. He was like, cause you can see him on film and he was just, he was, he was just like. He was just laughing.

I called the shit out of that call, didn't I? Yeah. It's a little weird how that's cool. Like, like I never liked it myself and I never did it myself. It's like, it's like,

I just slapped him in the back, dude. I feel like that means the same thing, but it's nothing compared to what we read a few weeks ago about minor league hockey teams and like the hazing and i wanted to talk to you about this because you've obviously been at every level of the sport of uh football and and i wanted to ask about what what kind of hazing like was at any of the levels like like first let me tell you what they did in these minor league hockey leagues and you tell me if you've ever even heard of anything that approaches this all right they would and and help me out here taylor if i miss anything but they would um i think they would fuck these guys in the ass with fingers they

would like finger these guys butts they'd make them like uh they piss on them in the shower they would come on them in the shower they would um seems like they would make them like uh they piss on them in the shower they would come on them in the shower they would um seems like they would make them bob for apples you know that thing where you got like a bucket of apples and water and but it's piss and and like all sorts of other stuff like cum and shit and piss um they would beat the fucking shit out of them like like all sorts of like serious like like paddlings and spankings and stuff like it's at some point it's no longer it's no longer hazing to me hazing has always seemed to me like some sadomasochistic borderline closeted gay shit anyway but like this like goes over that line to like yeah this this

sounds like like hardcore gay pornography and some of the some of the leagues these guys were in it's like what are you initiating them into really none of you are knocking on the door for even like the second tier down from the nhl league like you're initiating people into this team where anyone that's halfway good is going to be gone in three games like what so it was really it seems like people who are stuck there probably taking shit out on the people who showed up almost like you know because that doesn't sound like hasten it's just mean spiritedness i don't remember i don't remember them fingering each other's asses but i definitely remember the bobbing for apples thing and the pissing

they might have fucked him with a hockey stick or something and like beating the shit out of each other i remember it like i'm looking for it yeah i don't remember the name of the article that's the same got friction tape on that big ball at the end of the hockey stick the worst shit that they did was like um in the pros it's not really a thing because it's like at that point in time you like low-key and adult and you like like not dog like i got a family like you have to fight me like that and the majority of people like i mean at that point people got money so they're like secure and who they are as men so they just let you be uh there's i mean they're small stuff like they'll like they'll make you do shit like like a right like rights of passage so like you have to carry the older cats pads or like they might fuck with you like they put icy hot in your helmet like that

happened to me they put ice on my helmet they hid my playbook like a little shit like that did they like nothing's gonna humanize me like fuck no so what i heard on um like 30 for 30 i think it was called broke and they talked about players who were forced to like buy everybody's food at a restaurant and that could be like a 15 000 bill which in 15 grand sounds like it's not a big deal big deal when someone has a five million dollar contract but then it's like i actually dial that back it's actually one big deal when someone has a $5 million contract. But then it's like, I actually dial that back. It's actually $1 million a year for five years. And half of that goes to taxes. So now we're talking about that.

And then other people get cuts. And suddenly it's $15,000 out of like a $450,000 take home, which is a bite. You know? Add some bad decisions and a divorce and you're out of money. Yeah, no. For the most part, those kind of like the financial ones were reserved for like first rounders where 15 grand wouldn't wouldn't yeah that makes sense okay i had to pick up a tab once when i was a rookie but i was like i was undrafted so i told the dude i was like look if it's too big like yeah i'm like i'm

you walking out that thing like I'm paying my tab. Can I take a drink order? Yeah, Coke's all around. Water's for me. Water for me. You get flat, sparkling my ass, come on. The dude that picked the restaurant,

I don't know if you've ever been there, it's this place called Fogo de Chao. Yeah. It's a Brazilian restaurant where they bring all the meat you can eat and they cut it right in front of you. It's really dope. But it's like a buffet though, so it's $50 a plate. So it came out to like $500. So I was like, all right, cool.

I can do that. Dude, I went to Fogo de chow thinking i could somehow beat the restaurant no that shit keep i don't know who you are but you can't beat that restaurant there's no way we got a family rule that like you can't have no sides straight meat you still won't win it's funny that you went into that thinking it's like a competition like everybody there's like here's your table sir the chef's back there sweating making the meat and you're the only one who's like game time time to show this that's literally not what happened kyle joe lozano and i had an eating competition that time and i won and i was proud shortly and now i'm a

little embarrassed i've all been there, man. As a matter of fact, did you see that hot dog eating dude win again? Yeah, Joey Chestnut, baby. We're an American hero. Is Komi Ash not the king anymore? No, it's American. It has been for a while. Is his name Joey Chestnut? Do I have that right?

Dude, that guy's been winning for a while. Yeah, it was joey chestnut that is a yucky sport to me i yeah he's a legend though but nickname jaws that's cool you think you can get pussy doing that like like there's some things that like tv dog is coming it's weird the things that can get you pussy right like like there was a time when like you might not think somebody's good at a video that can get you pussy, right? There was a time when you might not think

somebody that's good at a video game could get some pussy, but that changed. All of a sudden, if you were good at a video game, you get a lot of pussy. And we found out recently you might get the wrong kind. All these guys it's so ridiculous. These people in the Smash Bros community

are all fucking pedophiles apparently. They're all banging underage pros. It's so ridiculous. These people in the Smash Bros community are all fucking pedophiles, apparently. They're all banging underage pros. It's ridiculous. There's fucking text messages of them admitting it. At that point, it doesn't seem alleged anymore. Allegedly admitting it. I didn't say any names. I didn't say which one of these Smash Bros.

There's so many of them, though. It's like, oh, I was talking to somebody the other day, and I was like, yeah, yeah, I read about, and I explained, I was like, yeah, it's like oh i was talking about this with somebody the other day and i was like yeah yeah i read about and i explained i was like yeah it was like a 20 year old girl fucking a 15 year old guy right and they're like oh no this is a different smash bros pro who was fucking an underage person and i'm like wait what what yeah yeah and they're both smash bros pros yeah yeah apparently ped Pedophil was rampant in that community. How big is that fucking community? Like, isn't this like 50 people

on the planet? Is the porn Smash Bros? Is that what you're talking about? That's the game. That's a video game, Smash Bros. It's a fucking Mario video game where you got Mario and shit fighting on a stage. This is a kid's game. It is a kid's game, but a kid's game but there's a high

skill ceiling to it so you know there's a pro scene i saw a picture of this dude that this girl was fucking and he's one of those guys right yeah he was 20 she was 15 she's 20 he's 15 and he looked he did not look like 15 like like you know some do you know her name so i can look it up i probably shouldn't say but but google like smash bros pedophilia and it'll pop right up but anyway he looked 11 like he did not look okay yeah like like i had a girlfriend in high school and her brother at 15 was six foot three with like full chest hair, full beard. I'm two, I'm three years older than him. And he looks like way more of a man than me. He's 15. I'm 18. And he looks 22. This is not what we're talking about. This is like,

I don't want to call that guy out because he pays us money. So I won't do that. I'll write it in the chat a little bit so Woody knows what I'm thinking. But sometimes you see somebody who, he did not look his age. He was immature for his age. He looked like a little kid because he is. Wasn't it the Smash community that made this happen? It wasn't just Smash. It was another video game community that also had the same thing going on and i it goes back to what i always say whenever we

talk about pedophilia on here which seems like a weekly fucking occurrence there are pedophiles every fucking where i think that it is way more rampant than we believe i think i think that it's i think that it's like and i don't like making this comparison. I'm not comparing the two things. I'm comparing the way the people who are part of them behave. All right? So like back in the day, I've heard like bigots and pieces of shit be like, you know, in my day, there weren't any gays. And you're like, no, there have always been lots of gay people.

It's just that in your day, you guys were such bigots and pieces of shit you probably beat them or kill them just for existing you know just living the way that they're born i feel like that's how pedophiles are right now that they're everywhere that like i i think 10 of people are pedophiles so what you're saying is we need an acceptance movement no i mean i can't line up with that. But that's what a lot of pedophiles are trying to do. And that's what a lot of far left-wing people believe is the future. That at some point, pedophilia will be added on to the LGBTQ.

I don't know what the rest of that acronym is at this point. But they want it to eventually be LBGTQ. I don't think that's a left-wing, because I'm a leftist. That's not like a left. I don't think that's a left wing because I'm a leftist. That's not like a left. Further left than you. I don't get much further left than me.

I know some right wing people, but they're not Nazis. That's ultra far right wing, right? It's a big spectrum if we're talking about left wing to right wing. And on the far left, they're wanting to make pedophilia as part of LGBTQ. That's such bullshit. It's not a left thing. That's a pedo thing. Oh thing oh is it a right wing does that sound right wing to you it's a pedo thing no affiliation it absolutely is how could you define that under a political affiliation though like what what defines that it's definitely a liberal viewpoint being more acceptive and according to one American news network I mean I'll do

a little Google guy thing what makes it a what makes it a liberal it's just I think I'll say that the people who are putting this forward are not like I'm a Nazi and also I'm not a pedophile I'm a minor attracted person that's what I was trying to get in

there is there are people out there who are trying to make this a thing where they're like no no no I'm not a pedophile. I'm a minor attracted person. That's what I was trying to get in there is there are people out there who are trying to make this a thing where they're like, no, no, no. I'm a non-offending minor attracted person, not a pedophile. That's that's mean. I'm a minor attracted person, but I would never, ever, ever, ever act on my urges. And there have been people out there who have said shit like this. There was one guy, a convicted pedophile, who wrote an article in vox after he got out of prison saying that they needed to like lesson you know lighten up on this all this shit it's like vox notorious right-wing rag and like there are select it's not a huge movement of people of course not but i think kyle's saying there are people out here who exist who genuinely

do want to make their perversions more acceptable and palatable. I mean, I would probably think that they would, right? Because then there wouldn't be ostracized for them. I do believe, and this is probably controversial to say, but I think I do believe that there's a conversation to be had, right? So it's like when I'm typing in my porn, sorry, my desires, right? I don't ever click teens just for the mere fact because i don't know like i don't know i you can't outsource into these porn channels right so like i don't know what i'm looking at like i could be looking at some like pedophile shit and i wouldn't i would never know

so i don't even i don't even stay with it plus i'm attracted to older women anyway so like so but when i type in my desires my desire is older older women like that's just what i desire there's nothing that happened to me like there's nothing it's just what i desire right like i like amputees i like don't judge don't laugh why is it when i search milk for these bitches come back at 25 it's not milk like it's funny is it real thing you've never had the love of a woman with only eight inches of arm before. I have

a funny TikTok that would be hilarious to share about that, but I don't think it's appropriate. Okay, I was in. It's probably controversial, but my desires are my desires. There's nothing I inherently did to whatever the brain chemistry I have, I desire mature women. So the fact that people do desire young children, I'm unconvinced that it's a choice.

I would never make a blanket statement like that. convinced that it's a, I would never make a blanket statement like that, but I'm, I'm unconvinced that the majority of it is a choice that says, I want to inflict pain and harm on a child. Like, I don't think that there are probably some people that feel like that, but I think that, that it's a thing. Oh, I agree a hundred percent. Yeah. And so my thing is the conversation to be had to me is not, uh, should it be allowed? I don't think it should ever be allowed. The conversation to be had to me is not uh should it be allowed i don't think it should ever be allowed the conversation to be had is should we give some kind of refuge to people or outlet to people to say okay you're having these thoughts let's let's let's express that to them they can all go there to where where at least... Move them to

fucking Madagascar. None of that. I agree with you 100%. And we've had this same discussion on here three times before, but I think it's interesting to talk to new people about it and see where they are on it. And I'm glad you said what you said because I agree 100%.

I don't think anyone chooses to be a pedophile or just like i don't choose to like whatever i like right like like the kind of whether it's the kind of ice cream i like or the way i like to have sex like it's not really a choice it's just what i like and it just so happens though that what they like is this horrific thing that is literally the most awful thing i think that most people agree especially if you have kids or you care about kids um it's like the most awful thing you can do i would if you had a choice between like palling around with a murderer and a pedophile you're definitely gonna get along much better than the murderer maybe you can understand getting mad at somebody enough to kill them, but you can't even

understand fucking a child or wanting to fuck a child. It doesn't even fucking compute. So I don't think anyone would ever choose to be the most repugnant disgusting thing that any of us can even imagine. A lot of it is an outgrowth of what they've found is

like an enormous, compared to the normal regular population, people who commit pedophilia as adults are like a real stat here a million times more likely as a kid to have been abused by a pedophile themselves and so it's like a cycle of abuse where it's like this little kid gets abused by a pedophile that fucks with their head fucks with their sexuality and then who knows 30 years from now their minds all fucked up from being abused and that's you know how a lot of this stuff proliferates so so and then there's just two related ideas arian all right so obviously child porn is bad because there were children involved in the making of that porn and that's a problem but along the notion that there are people with these urges and no way to express them other than to rape children.

What if we allowed animated child porn as an outlet? No, there's no, there's no victims in the making of animated child porn. I think that's legal. Like I've seen like some, I'll put myself on the list is i have to really get something i'm definitely not googling that

oh jesus when you open the tab wait dude google google snitches on you fucking right away. They're like, warning, child sexual abuse imagery is illegal. I guess that makes it illegal. They got hotlines and shit. I guess you're not supposed to Google those. What's that number? Maybe I'll get some credit with the fucking feds.

But here, the top link might answer this question. My friend has been questioning something. But if you do, we'll get a knock on your door from the FBI tomorrow. You can use this podcast as evidence. Maybe if they're Patreons, otherwise they can wait till Saturday. Back me up, boys. 3 a.m.

and 5. Actually, so 3am and 5 actually so it is not legal because it includes drawing cartoon sculptures and paintings can't do it we've made fun of on this show before where like someone who is a pedo and is attracted to young people will be like will be like this is my waifu,

blah, blah, blah, Japanese name. She may look 11, but she's actually a 3000 year old vampire. So I'm not a pedophile rapist. And it's hell.

Yeah. Shouldn't be allowed online. I love loopholes. I love loopholes in every Avenue of life. Not just that. That's hilarious. I do though. Don't we all like,

like whatever we're into like like if it kind of skirts along the acceptability guidelines like for me it was always guns like there's so many loopholes with guns that can will allow you to do this or that or the other when like it wasn't intended to be that way i love loopholes someone in my universe uh needed to take a foreign language for school and uh he's just struggling with it apparently you know he's some people take to it more naturally than others and he's fucking banging his head on the wall can't can't learn another language he's not wired for it but he finds out that sign language is another language so he learns that did you do that i did

that ah you're not who i was thinking of but uh yeah i thought that was a neat like it was a clever loophole look so much easier if you suck at spanish and you just can't get it but you can but sign language works for you knock yourself out yeah i took sign language for two semesters in high school um and i mean i know the alphabet. Do you still? Let's see. A, B, something like B, C. Yeah, I don't know anymore. I knew the alphabet. F, F, F, G.

I think F and then G and then I don't know. I don't remember. I really don't. I used to. That's rough. Yeah, you're muted, bitch. Taylor, do you know that you're muted? Sorry, I was muted because I was clearing my throat. I thought muting might have been part of the sign language gig.

In that case, it was an intended bit. Do you want to do your ad reads real quick? Both of these real quick both of these uh real quick since we're a couple hours get a glass of wine dog all right everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath that humid awful smell that keeps you from focusing on every anything other than finding an excuse to leave now just think about all the times you were the gross smelly one and

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ghoul. And this episode of PKA is also brought to you by honey we all shop online a lot we've all seen that promo code field taunt us at checkout but thanks to honey manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past honey is the free browser extension that finds promo codes for you and automatically applies them to your cart imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. Please notice site where Honey – no. Oops. Imagine you're on one of your favorite sites.

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I have as well. Check it out. Click on the link, install it, and watch it save you money. Yeah. I was expecting to bring up DoorDash at the end of the read, but it was dropped in there real quick in the link, install it, and watch it save you money. Yeah. I was expecting to bring up DoorDash at the end of the read, but it was dropped in there real quick in the middle, and I didn't proofread before. I was like, I'll do that at the end.

But check out Honey. You're a fool if you don't take advantage of these free savings. That's what people are saying. I think I mistakenly mentioned two weeks ago, I don't know if you guys corrected me last week, that with the Patreon now, we've got the Patreon Discord. We've got a bunch of the guys in there. And I think at the time I said that it was like different dollar amounts other than $50.

Right now it's just the $50 guys are all in there. We may or may not add the $5 and $10 guys in there in different rooms. Like you get access to different rooms based on what level patron you are. But right now the $50 guys are in there and it's really funny. There was a guy last night, many and I were playing rust and we were in like a voice chat and this random guy joined. And I know all the guys from the hangout pretty well by their voices,

but I didn't recognize this guy's voice and he was wasted drunk. And it was a little awkward at first, but, you know, we started talking. We talked to him for almost an hour, I guess. And it turns out that he's been a patron for a long time, but the timing's never right so they can get off work to, like, attend one of the meetings. So he's never been in one of the hangouts. So I'm going to try to work with him to try to find a Saturday or Sunday. Not this month, because this month he said he's working every weekend, but you know, the next month after this one, uh, August, I guess, where we can get him in there. He's, uh, apparently he's been listening since he was 11.

He's 21 now. And, um, but, but he, he's, he's like P.K. for me is like the office for you. Like, I go back. I go back. I was I was just listening to Taylor scream at lefty. It was brilliant. You know what? Fuck that guy anyway. Right. Right and i was like yeah man that was a hilarious one he's like yeah i'm i'm on like episode 227 right now and i'm like dude we're

almost to 500 it's like yeah i got some catching up to do um so i'm hoping we can hours of content to catch up through i'm like well you know two or three years from now, you'll be caught off. Then we'll be on episode 650. Do you know what he does for a living? Shit. No. That's often interesting about the amount. The kind of people that can throw $50 away to talk to me are interesting people.

That's what made me want to try even harder to get him in the hangout. He's like, I'm poor asout he's like i'm poor as fuck i'm poor as fuck you know i remember you were talking about tito's vodka and i was like i want to drink what kyle drinks i'm gonna buy tito's vodka that shit's 35 a handle and i'm like yeah it's really affordable he's like like my shit's 10 my shit's 10 dollars a handle that's all i can really afford but i still give you 50 bucks a month and i'm like i don't know if that's a prudent financial decision boss it doesn't sound like you've identified why he's poor um i think i've identified it um but real nice guy i enjoyed uh talking to

him and then um uh the gentleman that's in the hangout who's in the military um couple uh start with the v yeah it's it's the the the thin fit white guy who does um like medical stuff as well and he like like i was talking to him about uh the stitches in my eye and everything and um hung out with him for a little while the other night while we played rust too so yeah uh if you're a $50 patron, make sure you've accepted that invite. You're in the Discord. And if you ever see me hanging out like that, feel free to pop in

and chat or whatever. Or just at me in the Discord. And people do that a lot and ask me random questions or gun advice and stuff like that. So I try to... I do. I respond to all those. I don't even know how know i got a gun question while he chews on discord i see these things that like a

378 ets waiting for me to go check out oh my god i don't even know how to see those messages i click them i click on it and there's just a ton of messages in there i want to know the ones for me i need to filter it they're all for you no this is like a group server i click on it and it just shows me the most recent things people have written oh disable that so you you only want to see at mentions and pms i i think i did. This particular one I'm talking about is Wings, so they'd be more likely to at me than

some Tarkov streamer. I definitely want to get an update on Wings, man. There's a big update. There's a huge update. Let's wait for Taylor. Okay. And then until then, I can give my gun question.

Because you said you like a gun. Are you an aficionado? Or like, you sound wait for Taylor. Okay. And then until then, I can give my gun question. Because you said you like a gun. Are you an aficionado or like? Yeah. You sound like you like a gun. Yeah, I ran the biggest gun YouTube channel in the world for years. I owned well over 100 guns. I don't like to use the word expert, but I'm pretty well versed. Got you.

Okay. So is there a way to get gun online? Yeah. Okay. So, so you're going to, you're going to, so you're going to want to,

you have to go through your local gun store or get yourself a, a federal firearms license so that you are in fact a store. If you wanted it like directly mailed to you what there isn't and this is one of those political hot button issues people see talk about online gun sales and how there's no background check and that's just a lie that people people tell what what happens when you buy a gun online is they ask you for your you know what dealer do we need to mail this to and then they mail the gun to your local dealer your local gun store and then you go into that gun store and you're like hey is the gun here

and they're like yeah this one's for you bill just fill out your background check show me your identification we'll run your paperwork we'll handle the transaction and we're done the the reason to buy guns online is if you're getting a good price like better than you'd get in a gun store or if you're buying like a used firearm from another individual like if i wanted to sell you a gun not me because i can't anymore but if if woody wanted to sell you a gun um the purely hypothetical yeah if you guys were in the same room you could just give him 500 and he could he'd hand you the firearm and that's perfectly legal but if you wanted to do some shipping then you would give him your local gun stores information just their address and all that stuff and he would go to his uh gun store

and they would mail the gun uh you know through ups to the gun store and you'd go in there fill the paperwork out and they'd handle the transaction for you so is there places like because, because you hear this all the time, because I don't know shit about guns. I don't know nothing. I could shoot. I went to the range a couple times. I have a Glock 40, but I don't ever touch it. It's just in case some shit pop off. That's it.

But I want something a little more powerful than a Glock 40 in case some shit pop off. Like a long gun? I want something a little more powerful than a Glock 40 in case some shit pop up. And so, yeah, like some kind of something that will really, you know what I mean? Yeah, Woody and I are going to pretty much agree completely on that, I would guess. And that's a shotgun, a 12-gauge shotgun, probably a pump action because they're 100% reliable. And at that point, there are really only two options. They're both about 350 to $500. And that would be a Remington 870, which is my preferred ergonomic setup, uh, or the Mossberg five, uh, 500, I guess. Um, they're both ultra reliable, 12 gauge pump action shotguns. Um, with a shotgun,

um, it's just going to instantly kill any, anyone that's in your home. If you're shooting buckshot or something like that. I mean, it's an eight 70s. Yeah. There's a,

there's a lot of different kinds or 500. Is that the other one you like? Yeah. Uh, I would prefer the Remington eight 70. I like where the safety is on that one. And, uh,

I like where the, uh, the pump release is located on that one. And I like where the pump release is located on that one. They're just more ergonomic for me. And it's what I grew up with. But you know, those things are three to $500 depending on which one you get. And there's some of them that are made for bird hunting. There are some of them that are made for like turkey hunting, which is a different kind of bird hunting and requires a different kind of firearm. And then there are tactical and self-defense models.

And, uh, but, but if you're talking about something that you could just put in the closet and if some dude broke into your house, you'd feel a thousand percent secure that like, it don't matter what he's on. It doesn't matter how many weights he pumped before he got there. It doesn't matter if he's on meth and steroids and he's mad and he wants to

get you. If you shoot somebody in the same room as you with a 12-gauge shotgun it's going to fucking destroy them whereas with a pistol maybe not so much you you know what's the range what's the range on a shotgun it's a lot farther than you would think based on movies and video games um video games is not good because i i run around with the shotgun and valor and be getting tore up yeah at 50 yards you'd still kill kill a person with really 50 yards farther that's more than enough for me then and if you were shooting like slugs 100 yards you know it's they'll really reach out and touch stuff because it you know at the end of the day it's shooting a handful of um

like 30 caliber balls at 1300 feet per second and they're they're not gonna slow down to like wow slow down that much at 50 yards 100 yards they're still going if you if you hit the person it's gonna fuck them up um i've seen a lot of people get shot in the bird field with like bird shot which is little bitty pellets like like in the bird field with bird shot, which is little bitty pellets. They pale in comparison to buck shot, which is legit. It goes way into their skin

at 60, 70 yards. It fucks people up. Jesus. I get something like that. What attracted you to doing it online? I don't like people that much so i i mean i guess but i still i guess i still have to go out and go to the gun store then what state are you in texas oh fuck yeah all right go to the gas station they got one there

texas are you kidding me go to a gun show. Fuck everything else. Find a big gun show. So you can just go, I can just go buy one and just walk up and get one? Yeah, it'll be no big deal. I mean, you fill out a little background check form, which is like basic information. So I think maybe your social security.

If you had a concealed carry permit, which depending on the state, there's different requirements to get them. In Georgia, if you want a concealed carry permit, you, depending on the state, there's different requirements to get them. In Georgia, if you want a concealed carry permit, you give them like $50 and your thumbprint, and they're like, here you go. And they give you a fucking concealed carry permit. In North Carolina, where Woody is, he had to go through like a class

where you prove some proficiency. I think you gotta take a class here. You gotta take a class. It's worth having one of those. Like, having one of those, for one one thing the biggest thing for me because i used to buy so many guns you don't even have to do that background check anymore because just having that concealed carry permit proves that you're legit so you can just be like yeah i got one of these like oh all right well i'll just use that then they don't even have to

run your info anymore but you can just walk up to the counter and grab my yeah absolutely um that's what i'm that's what i want to do there's's no waiting period. There's no like, not in Texas. There's no, and it won't take long either. By the time you've like picked your gun out, like they'll be running your information and you can go pick out what kind of shotgun shells you want. And by the time you've got those picked out and paid for, you'll be done.

Like it's 10 minutes. The only thing I was going to add. So if you buy it online, it's probably not important to you. They charge an extra like 15 or $35 isish for your local store to do the background check. If you buy locally, usually that's free. Yeah, yeah. They'll often call it a transfer fee or something like that. It's just so that they're getting paid for something, right?

Because they're handling all the paperwork and they are doing the transaction. And if you bought it from somebody else, they become an unpaid middleman and they don't like that it's not fair yeah yeah they would do it yeah it'd be free the only other thing i have a uh remington 870 but mine's the marine one which is cool because it's silver yeah that's what i was getting at the different kinds of them like there's some of them that like look cooler than others the marines definitely i'm looking at i was looking at some of them some look like old as shit but someone got check out the marine one it's two things one it's a little shorter uh i guess so you could use it inside your small yacht and uh also it's rust resistant

and i think it looks cool it does look look cool. That's a cool one. And then I would add a flashlight to that motherfucker that you flick on by just squeezing one of your hands in its natural firing position and you can get this little thing that goes on the stock that'll hold like five to eight shotgun shells

extra and you'll be a lethal motherfucker. So what about the um the tack like tack 14 i'm looking at it it's probably got some sort of like it's just like it doesn't have like a um like the shoulder thing like when you like where you you push it in your shoulder it's more of like a handheld kind of feel i don't do that no i don't do that okay no you want to stock you want to stock this is like some this is some movie gun bullshit right here this is this is if you're arnold schwarzenegger maybe maybe rock one of these on your motorbike but you don't want that

no you want to you want to you want to uh stock you want to get that thing because i mean you're a big dude anyway but like the first time you shoot it, it's still going to kick you a little bit because you've never done it before. But once you get used to it, I can shoot one in each hand. I can do some silly stuff with them, and I'm not all that strong. The other thing, of course Kyle knows this, but when you first get a pump shotgun, shoot it a little bit and get used to it. When I was brand new to it i made a mistake i think it's pal help me short shucking short shucking short shucking and uh the pump you got to pull it all the way back and push it all the way forward and it's best if you do it like a man like boom boom you know like get it all the way back all the way

forward if you go halfway or maybe you're a little sissy on it then you can introduce unreliability so yeah you got to build a little muscle memory um it was kind of foreign to me because i i was shooting one of these things when i was seven years old so like like i couldn't understand that but it's definitely yeah the one woody's got like 850 dollars um is it okay 880 i think, I think. I think it was cheaper in the day. You could probably find it cheaper. And another thing is used guns. It's not like used cars. There's so few moving parts and guns are so reliable.

And oftentimes people don't... I've never heard of people wearing guns out. It's just not a thing. My dad has an 870. The one i'm talking about that i shot when i was seven he still got it it's an 870 wingmaster that he bought when he was 25 years old and he still got and he's in he's 65 now and it works fine it's it's fine there's nothing wrong with it it's a little rusty it's a little scratched up but it's gonna work every

fucking time you pump it and i'm telling, there's nothing more lethal inside a house and nothing easier to shoot as far as hitting a man-sized target at medium ranges because it's going to shoot kind of a spread of pellets. So what kind of like AR would you recommend? So it depends on price point, but for like $1,000, you can get anything you want. There's a lot of AR companies, right? Like, like, like Daniel defense are good or good.

And the Vesky is good. Uh, it just depends what you want your AR 15 to do. If you're going to go to the range and shoot paper with it, who cares? If you're going to like go to like bench rest competitions or three gun competitions, you need a lot.

You might need some fancy, uh, I just want to encase some shit pop off i just want one of those yeah um you know you can get that done for like 650 750 dollars you know i would just get like a smith and wesson i don't know smith and wesson is good daniel defense is quite good um this sounds like an indoor gun kyle what What would you do for a sight? Red dot. Red dot? Okay.

I'd get a red dot, personally. Really? I was asking. The thought process, I have a red dot on mine, but if I haven't touched it for a while, the battery can be dead. Hmm. That sounds like a spot Arian could be in in 2026 or something. It depends on yeah it depends on like i'm definitely not an optics expert or anything but there are optics that use um iridium which is a radioactive

element so there is no battery really and they'll just stay lit forever like literally well there's a half-life of i don't remember what it is but it's like a half-life of literally a thousand years eight hundred thousand years or something like that like it's we'll be good for the foreseeable future of the land the gun will turn to dust before the site stops working the earth will hit the sun before the site stops working and the other thing is man like if you really think about the nuts and bolts of having a gun battle inside your fucking house are you really gonna be aiming this ain't call of duty you're gonna spray that motherfucker down you're gonna start shooting and valerian training man i'm crosshairs me up though you ever play paintball or airsoft or anything like that bro yes oh i mean if you've ever run

up on somebody that shit hurts though like when i run on somebody they don't tell you that like that an airsoft there's no there's no aiming it's just like oh yeah you spray bro so my first my first paintball experience was like it was one of the homies was like yo we're gonna go grab some paintballs and in your in your mind it's like you know the paint just explodes on you. You're going to have a good time with your fellas. And I was like, yeah, let's do that shit. But it was like, yo, wear long sleeves because it could sting a little bit.

I was like, ah, it makes sense. It's like a gun. And so we all shooting. And all of a sudden, my dude catches me in the shoulder. And it's just like a yap. And I was like, fuck this. I threw my gun. And I was like, bro, do not shoot me.

I'm out. I am fucking. Fuck this game. Like, what? Big ass bruise on my shoulder. I was like, why do we do this? I have been pinned down by shots, right? They hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me.

And it's like, all all right all i want to do is leave so you stop shooting me right but they're gonna keep shooting me till i leave and i can't leave because they're shooting me and i've got a little bit of cover like a fallen six inch tree that i'm ducking behind and it's like yeah i would they think i'm cheating because they know they hit me i know they hit me all i want to do is stop being hit, but I don't want to stand up because they put a few extras in you. Then you stick your hand up to show that you're out, and you catch sticks off the knuckles in the back of the hand. That puts me in the most furious mood. Bro, you'd be mad.

That's happened to everybody who plays paintball. That happened a million times on the trip where you try and surrender and now you just catch them all off. The fingers are the worst place. I hate the neck. Oh, the neck is horrible. And then we play paintball when it's, I don't know, 115 degrees out. And they're like, here, Woody, here's like a padded sweater, some gloves and a hat and this and that.

I don't know what's worse, the heat exhaustion or the paintballs. On our trip, we made that decision, remember? Because we all went out there more in jackets, lighter jackets. And it was so hot within 15, 20 minutes. I think we all came back and we're like, I'll deal with the sting because we're going to die out here. I'd rather die. Fuck it. I'll pass out.

Was that the last time that you... And they're going to shoot me while I'm passed out. He's pretending to be dead. That wasn't the last time. I went one more time. It was in 2016. They convinced me to go again. We trained together.

A whole bunch of NFL dudes. We went to a real paintball course. I remembered it vividly from last time. I'm going to wear two, three sweat course. I was like, I remember it vividly from last time. I was like, I'm going to pad up. I'm going to wear two, three sweaters. I was padded up. I got hit in the shoulder again. I was like, bro, fuck this shit.

I'm out. I sat out. It hurts, though. How are you getting hammered by 350-pound guys and then you get caught in the shoulder? It's different different it's a different pain it's like a it's like um it's sharp it's anticipated like so when you're on a football field like you know what it's a sharper pain and you know what kind of you know how it's

coming you know when it's coming you kind of expect it this is like if somebody's just you just watching tv and somebody comes and like smacks you in the back of the head. It might not hurt as bad, but you're just furious at the spontaneity of the fucking blow. We played a lot of paintball. I grew up playing paintball. My manager, she used to represent paintball

fields. The paintball field was paying me to come and do events and advertise on my YouTube channel. And I did maybe definitely one, maybe two like that. And after a while, I was like, you know, let's just take all the money that they're paying me and use that for like flights and travel and bring in like like eight YouTubers and like just get a huge event going on. So we started doing that instead. And so like Woody and Taylor and like half a dozen other YouTubers, we'd all go to this, this paintball field in Chicago.

And we, you know, we'd all make videos and stuff, get our fans to show up. So we get several hundred fans to show up and we'd play in these big paintball scenario games where they play on like a hundred acre field. That's full of like towns and cities and obstacle courses. And there'd be like 600 people on each side fighting each other it was just crazy crazy paintball nope that was so much fun yeah i love paintball sounds amazing is there a way to make the guns like a little less not like they they fire really fast so if if you lessen the fire rate it probably won't be as fun right you could lower the velocity um but but everybody's shooting as fast wants to shoot as fast as they're

allowed to shoot their gun because the paintball has a big arc anyway even at 280 feet per second but um if you're at 250 it's just like lobbing them in there the rate of fire is is kind of a problem because the guns like the gun that I've got, the gun that Woody's got, it's just a machine gun. You know, it's shooting, just really spitting paintballs out. So when you get shot, you don't get shot once. You get shot three or four times.

And if somebody panic fires you at close range, they might accidentally shoot you 10 fucking times. And if you're playing, like I said, it's 600 people versus 600 people. So you could easily get in a scenario where you turn you make a left around the corner and you didn't know it but there's like eight guys over there and all 80 eight of them are going to shoot at you 10 times and accuracy is going to vary but you could easily get shot fucking 20 times like that like and you're just covered up and like when you feel that pain like where you've been shot like 10 15 times in a split second your body doesn't know how to compute it your body's

like it's like your body it's like you got stung by a whole swarm of bees and and your body's just like fuck what did you do pain yeah it doesn't even know how to say leg arm chest ear it's just like pain pain pain yeah i've never given up like in such a like um because like there's no way to like you don't really want to cheat like in playing ball that's how that's what i found you don't want to be like you don't want to get hit and continue playing because like once you hit you like all right fuck like fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it i said fuck it and then like they keep shooting you this is what's one of the worst feelings yes my love sorry airsoft hurts more um airsoft is uh guns that look like real guns and uh they shoot little plastic pellets little plastic um balls

that are hard plastic. They're small, though. Paintball is 68 caliber. I want to say that Airsoft is, what, 7mm or.7mm? They're tiny. They're real fucking tiny. I can't even think of what to compare them to.

But they go 400 feet. Bigger than BBs. Maybe twice as big as a BBb three times but they they're hard plastic weighted plastic and they go 400 feet per second like 35 faster than a paintball and what's the point what's the point of those though because paintball is like obviously for like games and stuff what is airsoft's the same thing it's the same thing the the crowds tend to be a little more milson tactical you know i was gonna say tactical but there's tactics in paintball it's just more milsim tactics where uh you know you can shoot really straight and you can maybe snipe a bit

farther uh you dress like you would if you were in military combat and how do you how do you how do you know if you get hit though you'll know it hurts so you know if you got hit, though? You'll know. It hurts, so you know pretty... You know, the pain is a little interesting. Like, if I were to hit your bare skin, I think it would hurt even more than a paintball. Having said that, floppy clothing like a jacket is way more effective against Airsoft than it is against a paintball.

Paintball, well, like a loose T-shirt, a paintball doesn't give a fuck about a loose T-shirt. It still hurts. Fact. Found that out. Airsoft does, though. Like, you really won't get hurt under a loose t-shirt, a paintball doesn't give a fuck about a loose t-shirt. It still hurts. In fact, I found that out. Airsoft does, though. Like, you really won't get hurt under a loose t-shirt. You know, if it's the part on your chest where it sits flush, it hurts. But if it's, like, the middle of your back, you're going to be fine.

So sometimes you just, like, hear the – it's real distinctive, this, like, tick, tick, tick of it hitting your jacket. And you know you've been hit. But there's a bit of an honor system because – Yeah, so that's what I was saying more it doesn't mark you but i've i've with a paintball i feel like i'm lucky when i hit a guy with airsoft it's so much more like i had a basically like an m4 if like a assault rifle and uh and i had a scope on it and i could really hit what i was aiming at and i'm just like shooting a rope at a guy and he's begging me to stop and i was like oh this shit really works you know whereas the difference though like in paintball like people will wear like silly stuff and like

brightly colored stuff and i like that it's kind of fun everybody's laid back there's a lot of like dudes that play paintball and uh a lot of people a lot of i remember like it smells really scottie at the paintball play i was about to say we're at the paintball place and woody and i were walking off the field and i wanted some weed and but i'm in chicago and i don't know where to get it and i look and there's a paintball referee and dude's got hair coming down below his shoulder he's got this big handlebar mustache and i'm just like let's go talk to this guy from there i'm just like hey man uh i don't want to offend you but you look like the kind of fellow that would know where the weed is

and he goes yeah dude fuck yeah dude and like literally three hours later he's in my hotel room with a big bag of weed that guy is a big entrepreneur too, right? Am I mixing my people? You're definitely mixing your people up. This guy is a big pothead. I think the guy that I'm thinking of is also a pothead, just an entrepreneurial one.

I don't want to give away his whole thing, but you probably don't. Uh, yeah, uh, maybe, but this guy was just a paintball referee. And,

uh, I remember he showed back up to my hotel room and he's like, yeah, bro, this is white Rhino. He's into steve-o for some reason and we got so fucking high that night do you remember how i walked into that applebee's taylor they were like you're going up weird stairs like yeah i was from the ministry of silly walks you're walking in but i remember during that day we were like man we should we should get something for tonight and you were like i'm gonna talk to that guy and then just 15 minutes later you come back

and you're like it's under control i'm like yep one for one like just the only person i requisitioned this yeah got immediately found the fucking weed and had it that night and had a lot of it we all got baked and not except for woody woody is a woody did not smoke i i don't remember he was driving or not but i know he did not partake i maybe maybe woody was in the van without us without people smoking weren't there two cars yeah i was driving the other car and there was a van where a lot of people smoked and then there was the car that i was in yeah yeah we were in a van and me and white boy were in the back seat and i'm breaking the weed up and he's got a copy of modern warfare 2 and he's rolling the weed up on that copy of modern warfare 2 like a fucking pro

making these beautiful joints one after another after another and he'll make a joint pass it to me as i'm breaking the weed up i'll i'll fire it up take like three good hits off of it and then pass it forward and there's like eight of us in the van so he's just continuously rolling joints and like every joint i was getting a hit like four or five times more than anybody else so i'm getting wicked high and there's like a machine in the back of that van and so like at some point i just go to another realm and i like like i have memory loss of this moment which had never happened from marijuana before but all of a sudden i like come to and we're pulling into a house we were going to applebee's and now we're in the driveway of a home

and i start freaking the fuck out i'm like where i think i'm being kidnapped i'm like where the fuck are where the fuck are we where are you taking me whose house is this was jeremy driving that car got us lost is that possible okay no it was no this is a different trip this was it was um what was the guy whose girlfriend threatened you and said she's gonna shoot you in the eye oh the gassy mexican is the guy yeah yeah he was driving it was his van he owned that van okay that rape van and uh and y'all had to explain to me like like calm down kyle we just made the wrong turn we're turning around in this person's driveway and then we're all going to applebee's for appetizers and i'm just like any tizers any tizers all right that'll do that'll do all right i'm feeling better now and like walking into that applebee's i'm taking i'm walking like

there are tripwires like every step is coming super high up off the ground like i'm walking like a crane or something your knees are like going to a right angle with your belly button. Yeah, I was goose stepping. Yeah. That's the dude. That dude's an entrepreneur. That's the dude that got me the weed. Dude, that dude, that guy is an impressive businessman. Good for him.

Clearly. Not in that picture, but. I did give him $80 for that quarter ounce of weed. That's what got him started in the t-shirt biz. That's what did it. That's what did it. Some points on that investment. Yeah, great guy.

He is a great guy. I've talked to him. Where was this? Paintball. At that big paintball event. Juliette, Illinois. What was it called, Kyle? CP? CP Exports, which is now defunct. They sold the park. at that big paintball. No, what Juliette, Illinois. Uh, and it, what was it called? Kyle CPC exports,

which is now defunct. They sold, uh, they sold the, the park, um, made a shit ton of money. Yeah.

That part was enormous. Many millions of dollars. Aaron, can I ask you football questions? Yeah, man. Shoot. All right.

So you were a big deal in high school. I looked up your stats. You got 17 touchdowns one year and 1,600 rushing yards roughly. And then you went to Tennessee. I was in the NFL. It says it's your high school stats, actually. I could be. I mean, I don't remember.

But I did that in the NFL as well. So what was it like getting recruited? Were you like one of the elite recruits so you went to tennessee for people that don't know arian foster was a pro running back and he wasn't just a pro running back he led the league one you know a couple of years in different things he was a very good pro running back um when you were going into college were you like one of those highly recruited super kids? No,

I would say I was like, uh, like right in the middle. Like I wasn't like low. I wasn't struggling for offers, but I wasn't like the five star, whatever they call them now. Um,

how did they lure you to that school? Like what kinds of, like what were the college visits like and stuff like that? Right. So for me, the reason why I and stuff like that? Right. So for me, the reason why I went to Tennessee was purely ego. Okay. Because I was coming from the West Coast. I went to high school in San Diego.

And in the city, it was like West Coast at that time, like Pac-10 was like just starting out to be like more of that run and shoot offense to where they have the little running backs and they can carry the load is what they would say right um and so it was like one of those kind of deals and to where i felt like i was like yo i'm a i'm a true tailback and i could play all three downs and carry an offense and and so the sec was where those running backs kind of shined and uh i had a few offers from the sec but tennessee was the biggest one in the sec and there was people in the city like you know critics like saying oh he's not an sec back he needs to stay out west and and then and who like looking back i was like who the fuck cares what those dudes were saying like at some fucking

podunk website you You did at 17. Yeah, as a kid. That's you reading Rivals.com and you're like, man, fuck this dude. I'm going to show him I can play in the SEC. And so that was my main motivation. Aside from the fact when I took the visit there, it was every visit I had. Let's see, I went to North Carolina. I went to Oregon, Oregon State, and Tennessee. And I had a West Virginia visit set up, but I didn't go because I committed to Tennessee.

When I went to Tennessee, it felt like the feel that the dudes gave me on a hosting visit, it felt like a real family atmosphere. family atmosphere like it just felt like it was like fun and and dudes was like yo we when you get here we gonna rock what when it was the other ones it more felt like um okay over here is the campus and uh over here is the you know it just felt like that feel yeah i didn't feel like home and and tennessee just felt like home so after you picked tennessee and people were or whatever talking trash about you in a local newspaper and such. Was that always fuel or did it ever fuel self-doubt? Or like, how did you take it? No, that's definitely fueled self-doubt. Okay.

A little of both, maybe. Yeah, no, it's for sure. I think you naturally have self-doubt as a human anyway. But I think those kinds of things kind of validify your self-doubt. But I think those kind of things kind of validify your self-doubt. But like I said, the majority of my success, you could contribute to ego because there's one part of your brain saying, yo, I'm not sure, man. But there's another part of your brain saying, fuck that. I'm the best to ever do it.

Right. And you have to have a little bit of that in order to have success. Yeah. Because I mean, go ahead. No, go ahead. No, i feel like i was going to cut off something cool probably probably wasn't okay all right so you were a three-year starter at tennessee right which is kind of a big deal i think would you say it's more normal to start just your last two years and i don't know but uh you were three years starter and then you went

undrafted into the league into as pro. Why were you undrafted? That's a can of worms. So I feel the reason. I mean, you never know because it's other people drafting you, right? But from the information I gathered post-college career, excuse me, when I was in the NFL, post uh college career what excuse me when i was in the nfl was that uh one my i wasn't the player that i was in college that i was in the nfl like my body changed my game changed but i was still nfl caliber for sure i should have been drafted what do you mean by that like did you get smaller or bigger or slower i think i thinned out got faster um i really stepped into my potential

and i think it was just like a shock because I think I got comfortable in college where I was, where I kind of like in my setting, I got really comfortable rather than there's another level that I need to aspire to get to. I knew it was there, but I just, it wasn't tangible to me. And there was no real, like a real life awakening of like, yo, this shit about to end. You need to get your shit together and so when i didn't get drafted that was kind of like my wake-up call as and i was like it's it's on now that's it's life like it's life now like because i got i'm packed all my clothes i remember this is a vivid moment in my life but like i packed all my clothes from my mother's house and i went to training camp in houston and i remember telling her like yo i'm not

coming back like whatever like how i'm not coming back to your house like i'll make it somewhere if i don't make it here and so like that it was that kind of drive i had going into that season that was like this is different so what happened your senior year in college your numbers went down i don't know how to say it yeah like Like we, it's just, it happens. Yeah. Put numbers on it. How fucking dare you? He rushed for like 1200 yards as a junior and a little under 600 as a senior.

So that's, that's less than half. What were you just like, do you think you just didn't get like some big runs? Maybe the rest of the team wasn't as good and it's hard to thrive when maybe you know they all know you're running and there's no passing or like how'd that go down so i think it was a couple variables right um that year that that year my junior year where i was like all sec and they have this thing called the nfl advisory

committee where you send your your film to them right you give them like your best five games and they slot you they say okay like based on this what we film we saw like we feel like you can be drafted in this round and so they give you a grade and so my grade was the second round they felt like I could be drafting the second round so looking back yeah it was a bit of a great um I should have left but in my mind for some reason I was like yo I'm a second round. So looking back, yeah, it was a bit of a great, um, I should have left, but in my mind, for some reason I was like, yo,

I'm a first rounder. It's just ego, man. It's like, I'm a first rounder. And so if I stay one more year, like, you know,

and plus the, the rumblings you hear from like agents and like runners for agents that they, they kind of tell you like, yeah, you're like sliding from like second to third. Like that's probably where you're going to go. And so I'm like,

fuck that. I'm a first round running back. And so like, let me just stay working my craft and and and get in the first round uh which makes sense fiscally but like um but not really uh in the long run i was thinking short term like first round money uh but so anyway uh we ended up getting a new offensive coordinator and this particular offensive coordinator we didn, we didn't mesh well. I mean, I never have been like a super, like, players coach,

like a coach that would like a player like me. Because I'm not like one of those dudes who's like, yes, sir, no, sir. Like, I was from the West Coast. So that yes, sir, no, sir shit was like slave talk to me. It didn't make any sense like i used to get i used to get in trouble like i remember i got in trouble a couple times because they like if you ask a question it's in the south now mind you like that that's a whole that's a whole nother variable like so i'm coming from the west coast i go to the south where

everybody says sir and ma'am that was foreign to me i'd never even heard of that before like other than like movies like old slave movies and so like they would ask questions and i would answer like i would like i remember one time my coach asked me something i was like huh because i didn't hear him and he goes huh huh what do you mean huh what the fuck is this what is it i'm tired of this fucking disrespect and i was like what the fuck is with this guy what what is this dude's deal and he stormed off he's like i'm i'm sick of this shit uh you're you're leaving or i'm leaving one of them but i'm not putting up with this anymore and i'm like i'm sitting there like what the fuck just happened i have no no idea what happened and uh one of my guys said what happened i was

like i said huh and this nigga he flipped out and uh and they were like oh you can't say huh i'm like what do you mean you can't say huh i'm like what do you mean you can't say huh he was like that's disrespectful like you have to say sir like i'm like i'm gonna call this fuck that like and so like my whole college career was a whole bunch of like cultural differences like that you didn't think you could meet in the middle you know like you you don't have to go to all the way to sir but maybe you could have been like what'd you say no they won't meet in the middle. That was my issue with authority figures in sports in general.

And this is probably why I got docked the way I did. And part of the reason why I didn't get drafted, which I found out later, was the coaches, the scouts, they told me that my coaches in college said that i was uncoachable and it was nonsense because like if you tell me to do something i did it all the time but it was those kind of things that i used to challenge like if they cuss you out i'm like you don't have to talk to me like that right like i used to i used to defend myself in that capacity i hang on your every word just make them nice yeah and it doesn't like i i didn't understand why like if we were sitting at a bar and i didn't know this dude this 50 year old man or 40 year old man and he didn't know me as an 18 year old kid there's no way he would be like hey

you son of a bitch listen here like because i would be like it would fight we would fight or something like that you know there'd be a conflict and i didn't understand like why couldn't i get treated with that same respect that you would treat a stranger and we in this they they just didn't make any sense to me like it just blew my mind and so i was always like this is not like it was the whole concept was nonsense to me and so i think a lot of that me bucking the system or always asking questions or always challenging them not in a way that was like disrespectful but more so like okay like why don't we do more of this because obviously the defense is doing this they only take those kind of questions from quarterbacks like quarterbacks are the only ones traditionally who can challenge the schematics of an offense everybody else is like you do what you're told. And I'm like, I see this shit.

I know what's going on. I'm smart too. Yeah, I see the game within the game. So why can't I give any input? This doesn't make any sense. So all those factors combined, on top of the fact that we had a new coordinator and we clashed and there was a younger cat behind me who they really liked. I could tell when they first got there that they liked him more.

The writing is always on the wall. All those factors go by. My carries got cut in half. Everything dropped. Halfway through the season, I'm like, fuck these dudes. It's obvious what they're doing, so I was like, fuck them. You went into the pros undrafted. Yeah.

I guess they gave you a shot like how did you in my head i have you tell me if i'm close on this right if you're like first second round you kind of have to fuck up to make to not make the team you know i know it's fucking bad you have to okay so i'm on target here and if you're somewhere like six seconds six seventh round you make a team and if you're like it goes to 12 right if you're somewhere like sixth, seventh round, you make a team. And if you're like, it goes to 12, right? If you're 12th round. No, it's just seventh round.

Oh, my bad. I'm sorry. I used to. Oh, okay. What do you know? So anyway, if you're towards the end of the draft or undrafted, you have to be covered in gold to make the team and sort of earn your spot. Yeah, you got to be special.

to make the team and sort of you know earn your spot you gotta be special um so how does do you feel like they barely made the team or were they like holy i didn't make the team at first i got i got cut i got cut yeah i got cut my rookie year so i i thought it was over and so so what happened was i was obviously i might say this but to me in my eyes I was obviously, I might say this, but to me, in my eyes, I was obviously better than all the running backs that they had. But they were older and they were just kind of building this team up to where it's like, okay, we're going to be a contender. And they're not going to trust an undrafted rookie. And granted, I wasn't making all the correct decisions but they're not gonna trust an undrafted rookie they would rather have a savvy vet that's more we know we know what he's gonna do you know the bad decisions this is football decisions you know yeah yeah all football stuff

i didn't get in any trouble off the field other than um uh i had a uh a baby at of wedlock but that's not trouble uh this is the nfl i think far for far for the course man but um but uh no so you blocked the wrong guy here and there and but but mostly you were top athlete to show potential rarely no very rarely i made a mistake on the field like like that that was you can count i could probably count those on one hand in my career like i never really had a missed assignment. I took those personally. Cause, cause I was always, my, my mind frame was always like, if you're going to cut me, it's going, it's going because I'm not talented. Not because it's something I could have controlled.

That was always my mindset. And so during my rookie year, I had, I had a, I had a bad hamstring injury during training camp and I was killing. And you can hear the Romans like in the newspapers and stuff. It's like, yo, this undrafted cat's going to make the team. And then I got injured. And it's just hard to climb your way back into coach's favor after they lose sight of an undrafted dude. Was this Houston? Yeah, this was Houston. Okay.

And I came back, and I't 100 for the for the very last preseason game i still did good but uh didn't do enough to make the roster initially so they they cut me and they put me on practice squad and i thought i thought it was over i didn't know what practice squad was but i remember when my dude two-time ray eyes rears he put me he pulled me to the side low-key changed my life i that's life. I told him this one day because he sat me down. I was like, listen, bro, this is the best thing that could ever happen to you. And I'm like, why? Because I was upset.

And I was like, why? He's like, it's like a liaison. He's like, this is like you can show the coaches what you can do every single day in practice. He said, but you have to just ball out in practice every single day, and you can get brought up to the active roster. And I was like, oh, word. I had no idea. He was like, yes. He he's like so just keep your head straight this is a good position you're not gonna get paid a whole lot of money it's good money but he's like just keep your head straight and you're gonna grind it out and you'll be all right because he's like

because you have it and uh that changed my attitude and from then on my whole mindset was like fuck it i'm gonna embarrass the defense and make them play me that was my whole but every single i was like i'm gonna make you play me and and so that's what i used to do gonna embarrass the defense and make them play me that was my whole every single i was like i'm gonna make you play me and and so that's what i used to do i mean the defense used to be mad at me because like during practice they just trying to get a look for for the for the game they're not trying to like tech but my thing is like these dudes upstairs they're trying to cut me every single day and on practice squad you see dudes getting shuffled in and out every single day every time dude that was there one day, he's gone.

And you don't ever know when you're on the chopping block. So my thing was like, I'm going full tilt. I don't care. I love it. Yeah. I mean, looking back, it's a really dope story to tell, but it's nerve-wracking as shit because you don't know. Your future's in the balance. I got a baby, right?

All of this shit is combined. How much you earned in a year? 125-ish? It was $88,000 for practice squad. $88,000 for practice squad. At that time, I don't know what it is now. CBA changes all the time. But I remember D'Amico

Ryans, who was a Pro Bowl linebacker at the time, one time, he's in practice. He's like, hey man, slow that shit down. We're just trying to get a look. And I was like, you gonna pay me i'm gonna run this motherfucking rock dog until they tell me slow down i'm not slowing down fam and he ended up being one of my good dudes but um so they ended up pulling me up halfway through the season one of the other guys got hurt and uh and i was because i was killing like on practice i was killing cats they had to they had to notice and um and they gave me an opportunity to start and once they did that i was like i'm never like i'm not looking

back so what's the culture like right so i'm a running back i'm currently whatever first or second string and there's you nipping at my heels do those guys resent you do they like how do you there's i mean because you're on the same team but you're competing yeah and that's that's always been the thing different rooms have different feels like so like for dbs it's different because you have four starters in there so it's like a really it's more of a family atmosphere running backs everybody's competing for that same spot so you're close but everybody knows what's going on and so there's a little bit different dynamic. I was always super cool. Like, I would never, like, if you beat me out, you beat me out.

There's never no funk. But there's always just that underlying, like, competition, that undercurrent in your relationship. And it's never, like, settled. Until that didn't change for me until I got a big contract. Because once you get a big contract, you're going to play. That's what they pay you for. And so I kind of eased up on the everybody's against me mentality. And I was just like, let me.

And then once you start aging to the dynamic shifts, it's like, let me bring these younger dudes along and show them how to sustain themselves in the league, how to take care of themselves financially, make sure they're doing the right things on and off the field. Like you kind of turn into a mentor more than like I'm out here trying to take these dudes jobs. So on the aging thing, so you got released from Houston and you were 28 years old. 29. Okay. Incalculable. That's a big difference in running back years okay okay i just took your current agents attraction five but anyway so uh uh anyway so but you're 29 you're you're in your

20s like like you're did you did you always anticipate 29 being a date where you might get released or did you think it would last forever like where was your head as that was going on uh i mean it's sad more so because of the relationships you build over the years and it's it's sometimes like you know it doesn't really hit you until you don't go in when everybody's supposed to be there and like you miss your dudes you miss the staff like you know like the lunch ladies like i haven't talked to the lunch ladies in i don't know how long and i ended up like having a really good relationship with them because i saw them every day and like those were one of the like the people who people always kind of like pass over and they don't really acknowledge because it's a small job but it's a big job to me so i was always like engaging and so they liked you right back yo they loved me they loved me like

and they were they were all they're all uh mexican women and i told them i was half mexican so i would like speak this spanglish with them right uh-huh um and so like little shit like that you you like you miss but from in my mind when i when i first started i was like i didn't want to play past the age of 30 and when i got to 30 i was like i could. Like, I really could. But I just didn't – I didn't feel it anymore. Did you get hurt in Houston? I got hurt a lot in Houston. Okay. I didn't phrase it right.

But you played four games in 2015, the year you got released. Yeah. I tore my Achilles. Yeah. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. It's part of it though, man. I came back.

That feels good. I came back, and then I got assigned by Miami. And midway, even earlier than that, but midway through that season, I realized that I wasn't into it anymore. Like, my heart just. You got hurt in Miami, though, right? It was like a soft tissue injury. It wasn't debilitating.

I could have played. But you just realized football wasn't your passion anymore. I just wasn't into it, man. There used to be a time where I woke up and cared about the grind of it. I cared about waking up and getting after it. It was on my heart. It was on my soul. I wanted to just go. And then when you wake up, and I was thinking, the moment it flipped was very vivid to me. We were playing the Cleveland Browns, and I was actually not suited up. I was, I was still recovering from the soft tissue injury and I'm looking up in the

stands and I'm just like, yo, I don't give a fuck who wins this game. I don't even care about this shit like at all. Couldn't care less. And I was in the middle of this book, this fabric of the cosmos book is by Brian green. And I was reading this book at the time.

And I was like, yeah, I just, I really want to go home in my bed and read this book. Cause I got in the middle of the game. I was thinking of shit. And I was reading this book at the time. And I was like, yeah, I just, I really want to go home in my bed and read this book. Cause I got in the middle of the game. I was thinking this shit. And I was like, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to do this. I can't do this anymore. So the next day I told the coach and he was like, take a couple of days, think about it. And he was really cool to his credit and the Miami organization. They were really cool about it. They were like, we respect what you did here. Cause when I was there and I

was dedicated and I gave my knowledge to the younger cats, but it just wasn't in me anymore. Dana White talks about that with fighters. Do you follow UFC at all? You know these names, Dana White? I didn't until I got into jujitsu and that shit. Yeah, that shit got really dope. So sometimes fighters talk about retirement. Sometimes it's a negotiation tactic.

Sometimes they're thinking about retirement. Sometimes it's a negotiation tactic. Sometimes they're thinking about retirement. His advice is always the same. He's like, look, man, this isn't baseball, right? You can't go out there and hope your passion comes back. This is two men fighting in an octagon. If you're thinking about retirement, retire. We'll move on. And I feel like football has a lot in common with that.

If you're not up there trying to get the respect of people through violence as a running back then uh maybe you should retire that's no that was exactly my thought and that's when i was talking to my coach uh what i reiterated where i was like yo this isn't like i mean even if i was a quarterback i might be able to fake it a couple more years but like as a running back, I could hurt myself really bad. I could hurt somebody else really bad if I'm not mentally into every single snap. And I was like, it's just not worth it to me anymore. I'm good financially.

It just isn't. I couldn't do it. The financial aspect definitely plays into it, where I'm sure at some point you're like, I got more money than I can spend in my life. My kids are going to be fine. That is removed. And then in addition to that, like you had to have some thought in your head where it's like, I did some really tremendous, had some tremendous accomplishments in Houston. If I, I'm not going to be able to match that now. Like, you know, I'm getting older. And if I don't have the passion, the way I did, it's like, was it almost

like a legacy thing as well, where it's like, why don't I quit while I have this tremendous career instead of being one of those guys that tries to hang on for an extra three years and becomes the ESPN story where it's like, oh, this is sad. You know, you just broken your body so much. And then you have 50 years after you get out of the league of just debilitating injuries and physical therapy. And I'm sure all of that came into it. Right. Yeah. I'm probably still gonna have the debilitating physical injuries um it's because of the nature of the position i played but no mine was a little more different mine didn't really have anything to do with like legacy i remember one time somebody asked me like yo what do you

want your legacy to be in football and uh i remember telling them like like what does that even mean like i didn't really give it ever give it any thought other than like what what is a legacy other than like people talking about like where you rank in a barbershop or some shit like that like what is it other than other than that what the fuck does it doesn't mean anything and so once i was cool with that because like i remember like reading articles about me while i was playing like i'm a four-time pro bowler and there was articles being like oh he's a system back and i call it negative shows like oh he's not an elite back like all of this shit and i'm like these like who gives a fuck what these people think like why would i care like it doesn't make

like i'm busting my ass every single day to have some dude that does whatever for a living critique what I've given my life to. So I was like, it came to a point in time where I was like, fuck my legacy. Like, I don't care. That shit doesn't. I don't care. Like, one of the realest shits I've ever heard in my life was by Bill O'Brien. He's the head coach of Houston, Texas. Which, you know, we had our riffs, but I ain't't never had a problem with dude i feel like he's a good coach he said

some of the realist we were getting our ass whooped uh at halftime some game they said when the like halftime speeches never work by the way like really they work on the movies they never worked but this shit shit resonated with me so hard. He was like, because we were away, and he was like, fuck the fans, fuck that other team, fuck this, fuck that, and fuck everybody else. He said, my dad

said, the only thing that matters is the front two rows in your funeral. I was like, that's hard. That shit stuck. And to this day, I'm like, I've never really heard better words, because it's like, that's hard. That shit stuck. And to this day, I'm like, I've never really heard better words. Because it's like, that's real. At the end of the day, what matters? Then the people that's going to be sitting in the front rows of your funeral.

Those are the people that matter. And so that's what my legacy is. And it's going to be my kids. It's going to be people who really love me, who call on me for support, suggestions, and life advice. Those are people that I'm trying to impress with the things that I do in my life. who really love me who like call on me for support suggestions and life advice like those people that i'm trying to impress with the things that i do in my life everybody else fuck it yeah that phrase has a lot of perspective i've never thought like that yeah it's a real it's a real thing so before you came on the podcast for the first time i just didn't expect a football

running back to be smart and introspective and who you are if i met other running backs would they surprise me too or would they be dumb jocks it depends man i would like to say that you'd be surprised but i don't know man it just depends i've met a lot of very intelligent athletes and i've met a lot of dumb athletes but in the same likeness i've met a lot of very intelligent athletes and i've met a lot of dumb athletes but in the same likeness i've met a lot of very intelligent human beings that don't play sports and i've met a lot of dumb human beings that don't play sports so i don't think the the axiom of sports has anything to do with that i think it's just the the yeah there's this traditional thought process that's like, wow, he's so blessed physically. He's got to be a moron. There is.

There's no way he won both lotteries. Nah, I mean, it is kind of a, it's a backhanded compliment when people say that. Because I get it a lot, where it's like, oh man, you're so articulate. Oh, you're well spoken. Oh, you're well-spoken. You're well-spoken. There's a lot of implications that that has. It's not what I was going for, to be clear. It's all good.

It's what I saw you going for. But it's a part of it, though. It's a thousand percent a part of it. And it's one of those things that I've had to fight my entire career and my entire life. It was like, and I ended up letting go of it, but caring about people's perception about your intellect because I could sit down and talk with that. I take pride in the fact that I could sit down and talk to any gang banger on the street that I grew up around, or I can sit and chop it with any politician, right? To me, that's just being a well-versed

human being and being an active citizen. And I think we all should aspire to do that. But it is a backhanded compliment when people say that, because the implication is you're, I don't think you, you're not giving people the benefit of the doubt rather than you're casting judgment on them for what they do. Remember, you were talking about the only thing that matters is the first two rows in your funeral. And that is something that burned into your head is like words of wisdom. Yeah. You gave me one. I have used hurt people, hurt people in my own thoughts and explanations and understanding since since you

said it and he says it every time his feelings get hurt it's not true no no but like i you know whatever i'll be talking about something you know usually with jackie or something and then you know circles back around like yeah sometimes people are jerks because they're in pain themselves and uh that's i remember watching some hockey player interview and so many of these guys it's like oh Yeah, sometimes people are jerks because they're in pain themselves. I remember watching some hockey player interview and so many of these guys, it's like, oh, Kiri Yusflegsvanov from Yugoslavia. And he'll be like, what did you do today? He's like, I try very good to the best book better than before.

And I'll be like, ah, look at this fucking goober. And then like a little comment will show up. And it's like, Kieran speaks nine languages. Kieran's a lot smarter than I am. Hey, bro, you did that Russian accent fucking very well. Oh, you were asking earlier for the update

on Wings. Wings got married. Man, shout out to Wings, man. I almost finished my football questions, but all right. Oh, okay. If I had a soundboard, man, I'd get the round of that. Shout out to wings man i almost finished my football questions but all right oh okay if i had a soundboard man i'd get the round of that shout out to wings man i genuinely wish good for buddy man but then somebody went back and they found where the girl that he's married he's discussed on our show before back when he was a host on here with us this is new information to me no i know nothing about this kelly the cunt i believe is

what we called her on that episode um i'm not sure if i coined that phrase we've changed our mind about that that sounds like a you thing well i mean i mean we were discussing it so uh and and this isn't gonna be conferred but it definitely seemed like it from the youtube video that i watched made by some degenerate uh but but it seemed like um she was that story where the girl had like wanted wings to come like hang out with her and then he he like kept calling kept calling and they were always missed calls and she got freaked out so she started lying and saying she had to stay long at work. And he was like, all right, well, I'll just wait at your house then for you to get off work.

And she's like, no, don't do that. And he was like, all right, well, I'll just come to your work. And she's like, no, don't do that either. Definitely don't do that. So, of course, he did that. He went to her work. Well, he gets to her work and the parking lot's empty. Nobody's fucking there.

She's lying. She's not there at all. She's the only Chick-fil-A Sunday employee. He gets to the Dairy Queen and it's empty. And so he's like, so you're working late, huh? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he takes a picture of the parking lot and sends it to her. And I guess she said, oh, I'm sorry.

You freaked me out because I had all those missed calls. And long story short, he drove like an hour, maybe more, to go see this girl. She blew him off. And then, not in a sexual way, She just didn't meet up with him. And then he had to drive all the way back home. And we were hard on her on the show. And he was agreeing like, like maybe we could dial it back.

Right. Kelly, the con artist, right. Kelly, Kelly, the con artist. They'll keep the alliteration,

but just, yeah, yeah. We were hard on her. He kept dropping these little hints about where she worked or where she lived, and you were adding them up. She's like, all right. You're like, all right, well, we know where to find her now.

Oh, I did that? Yeah. We know where to get her now. All right. Good, good, good. We can take care of this. Find her, not get her. I'm going to see.

Observe her in her natural habitat. We've evolved over time. We're not quite as dark as we used to be. I guess we were going to get her. I don't know what that meant. But yeah, I'm told that now that's his wife. But yeah, he got married like out of nowhere. There was no like...

Taylor lives with his wife. But yeah, he got married like out of nowhere. Like there was no like like Taylor lives with his girlfriend. And there was like a whole buildup like as like people who watch the show were like, they were like, yeah, I'm started dating this girl. I'm like, yeah, I really like this girl. And then months went by and it's like, you know what? We're living together. It's great. We got a couple of dogs. I really care about this person.

There was none of that that this month long buildup-up of a relationship. One day, it was like he just posted a picture of him dressed like Abraham Lincoln in a tux, and he's like a man. He looked great. Come on, Kyle. He looked good. Alright, take a picture of Abraham Lincoln in a tux, put it next to the picture that he put up on there, and you tell me

what the difference between these two pictures is. They're the same picture. One of them's in color. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. He's got a top hat and tuxedo. The important thing is he's happily

married, man. And we can all agree. We can all give him props for that. We can all agree that that is probably a net benefit for his life. Yes, I like the way you put agree that that is probably a net benefit for his life yes i like the way you put that that is a definite net benefit for wings so i'm i'm happy for him facts even if even if your lincoln comparison is apt you know even if it's a very good comparison was lincoln happily married no married todd aren. Aren't there rumors that he was gay?

Or am I making that up right now? No, you're thinking about... There are rumors that he's gay. And it stems from the fact that men used to share beds back then in a non-gay way. Because I guess beds and furnishings... There weren't a lot of beds to go the fuck around. Yeah. Because that's ridiculous.

Of course he had to share beds. There were dirty bugs on the ground in the bed. They didn't have a lot of beds. I just don't think people had big houses with guest rooms. It wasn't the same world. I like how he was like 6'7 and he still rocked the top hat. That is alpha.

That is high T. Not only are you towering over all of the 5'9 average guys, 5'8 at that time because you're getting grub protein, He's just an extra foot on top of his head. Grub protein. Probably grubs.

A lot of salted pork. Salted pork. Every time I watch that extended version clip from Lord of the Rings where Gimli accosts Mary and Pippin for eating the salted pork. I'm feasting. I'm smoking. the salted pork. I'm feasting! I'm smoking!

The salted pork is particularly good. Salted pork. You gotta take that one out. He's got his prosthetic stuff on. That always makes me watch that scene. I'm like, man, I've never had salt pork, but damn, the way Gimli's just

feeding over it. It makes me want some salt pork. Townsend and Sons learned how to make salt pork. Turns out, I'll just enjoy him making it. It doesn't seem very practical. No, you don't want salted pork. You don't just salt pork. All pork is salted.

I think that the only part of the preparation is salt. Well, but that's for preservation. So what they do is they take the pork, they pack it. They take a jar and they pack it in there and then surround the entire thing with salt to the brim and then seal it up. And so when you take it out, it's not like, oh, man, it's got a nice – the way you put kosher salt on a steak like that. It's like, no, you have to soak this thing for hours or it is unedible to get the salt out. If you eat that, you'll be fucked.

What's the point of putting the salt in if you want to soak it to get the salt out? The pork can last in that jar for a very long time. It's a way to preserve it. It dehydrates it. It couldn't stick it in the freezer back in the day. No, they couldn't.

It was either pickling or salting things. I've heard of pickling. Yeah, that's just vinegar and salt water. You can pickle anything. Pickles have really survived the test of time a lot better than salt pork. In the South, there's some disgusting pickled shit for sale at gas stations.

What? Eggs, for example. I mean, those aren't like that gross not bad pickled pigs you can't really do anything to an egg right pickled pig's feet comes in a yeah yeah that's a thing that's a that's a cultural thing though not everybody eats those pickled feet pickled pig feet yeah yeah i've heard of that they're in a really gross jar when you check out yeah no, they color the vinegar pink. Yes, that's the stuff. Is it pig's feet that's in there? They put everything in there.

Pig's feet, eggs. You know, it's not the sort of thing I like to eat. I mostly like pickles to be pickled. It's like you just like whatever is being pickled. Really, you have to like vinegar, and then you have to like whatever's in there oh what's this what's this what's pickled okra gonna taste like well it's gonna taste like okra with vinegar oh what's a pickle it tastes like a cucumber with vinegar what's a pickled egg gonna taste like a fucking egg with vinegar stop asking idiot like you can even add like spices in there to get like spicy pickled i guess i can't get

past the look of the pink pickling stuff. Yeah, I don't eat that shit. I don't eat anything in a jar behind the counter of a gas station, generally speaking. You probably want to avoid that. Oh, that's... Really limiting my choices in life, huh? Yeah, you're not.

You're closing a lot of doors. Honey buns. Honey buns? Honey buns? Honey buns are my gas station guilty pleasure. You put it in the microwave for 17 seconds and you devour that shit. They love those things in prison.

Do you take it out of the plastic bag? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know some people that just pop it open for 17 seconds. I take it out of the bag. But if you haven't had a honey bun warmed up a glazed honey bun warmed up from the gas station just try it once if you don't like the worst thing you're gonna do is not like did you it's shit 17 seconds on your that's just that's just no i was it was like

it was like a passed down tradition or whatever it was just like it's i guess it's folklore at this point but 17 seconds is just it feels perfect yeah it feels 16 and 18 no right you might be 18 you might burn it i don't know honey buns were a pretty big commodity in prison um people like those a lot you can only buy so many per week so there were some guys in there that were after those honey buns i have my last football question i want to circle back to and none of these have been about football really they're all about people but uh circle back around man i can teach you cover two if you want to if you'd find a slow learner but uh uh yeah so now you're, I'm going to call you 30, right?

At this, for this question. And we'll say it again. I'm 33. I know you are. But for the question, you're like, back when you were 30, you're done playing football. You've had your injuries, your passion's gone. All you wanted to do was be at home reading a book. Well, now you can do that.

How are you feeling? Are you almost wishing you could get back in the game? Like your identity had been football since I'm making this up, since you were seven, and now it's not. How's your new life as you first entered it? So that was one thing I was always cognizant about, was not making football football my identity i was i always used to get mad like even like i know a lot of cats used to use their prestige to like

get them into play so when they talk to people like yeah playing nfl or what i was always the opposite of that i used to i used to tell people i play chess like they would have to recognize me before i tell them because i just wasn't a thing that I enjoyed to tout. And so when I left, it almost felt like I woke up from a whirlwind because the reason I played football in the first place was to get away from the trauma that I was growing up in. And that turned into, okay, this is an avenue to get me out of the circumstances I was born into. And so it was more like always a means to an end to me rather than like, yo, I love

this shit. I used to love to grind. Go ahead. No, go ahead. You're so good at it. Are you telling me it wasn't part of your sense of self-worth oh a thousand percent definitely not my self-worth it was it was more like huh like I know I grew up in projects so I grew up broke I mean we bounced around but

uh I grew up like extremely broke like like broke to the point of like you know moms was like I remember vividly one time like she said like one time just put us to bed and it was like there's no dinner like we there's no food here like we don't have no food like you gotta go to bed and like she's crying telling us because imagine having to tell your child that you don't have anything to eat that night it's tough and so like that's the environment that i come from uh and so my mindset growing up was like, yo, I'm gonna take care of moms. I'm gonna take care of dad. I'm going to do this shit.

And I did that shit, but it was never like I scored touchdowns for a living. I took like, I was a philosophy major. So like, those are the kinds of existential questions. Those are the kinds of things that interest me or keep me up at night. Like, how do we get here why do we get here the the the problem of evil like these kind of things like keep me up at night what i did for a living never really factored into who i was as a man um and i understand why people do that right right? Because it feels good. Like that reverence feels good. That attention feels good.

That people making you feel like you're something feels good. I do understand why people do that. But for me, I never really craved the attention. I didn't like the attention for that. that um uh i i like i like i much rather like when people come to me now and tell me they enjoy my podcast or they tell me like yo when i listen to your music like it just resonates with me like that shit means always way more to me than somebody saying i like the way you ran like always and so it i was never tied up in that i i came from that is because the way you ran is a rare skill, too, for sure. But I don't think I didn't personally place any value on it as far as outside of I do now.

Actually, it's funny that this happened. I place value on it now because my evolution politically and my evolution socially has changed over time and so what i value now is is different than what i valued in in the nfl and it's quite the opposite and i'm very aware of how our culture is interwoven with entertainment and how i used to detest it and now i kind of understand it in a different aspect as where it's as where it's like escapism for people. So for three hours of a Sunday, I can take people's problems away from them, and they can focus on this and enjoy themselves. And that's very important to the zeitgeist of our culture and our community and our society, that that relieve or that reprieve of their pressures of their day-to-day life is important that's why sports is missing so much now and people are like yearning for that shit because it's like it just it helps it it helps just get that shit away and so when i was in the league i was like i'm just a

distraction of people getting to themselves but now as i'm a little older i'm like yo i i was a i played a part in helping people detach yeah you realize like it served a really important purpose in a way yeah now you kind of see yeah i thought it was surface level but i got a little older and realized it was very deep deeply rooted actually sports are great for that like i only really follow hockey and so like i keep waiting for the fucking nhl to come back. But it is nice when you just have a really shitty day or you're stressed about something.

For some reason, it's easier to lose yourself in, for me, a hockey game than it is even to turn on a TV show that I love. Everything's going to be new. There are plays you're never going to have seen before out on the ice. It keeps you more engaged. And you feel like you have a dog in the hunt hunt even though you have fucking nothing to do with them yeah i don't fucking know you you contribute nothing to the team but you still get to be like yeah fuck yeah that's awesome yeah bragging rights but i mean it's um you you kind of share uh that plight like you can you can identify with that plight of that.

That's why people love underdog sports stories. Like they love that. They love that plight that came from nothing. And it just gives you that little bit of motivation or inspiration that, that P and it helps, it helps people really does help people. Whereas when I was younger, I didn't understand that shit.

And now I get it a little bit more. How much attention do you pay to football now? Is it zero or more than that? It's not zero. You know, I've always going to be involved in some capacity because I do, I do love the sport. I'm not,

I just do. I wasn't just a journeyman. I didn't pass through. Like it was a big part of my life. But it's, it's just not something that I fancy like a lot. It's like, if it's a good game or if there's a player that I really want to watch, I'll watch a lot. It's like, if it's a good game or if there's a player that I really want to watch,

I'll watch the game. If there's a good game, I know it's a good game. Come on. I'll watch it. Of course I'll watch the playoffs or the Superbowl, something like that. But like,

it's not like I'm not on got the NFL ticket and I'm not like, you know what I mean? Are you into MMA at all? I can't remember. Yeah. So I wasn't, but so I, yeah. to uh mma at all i can't remember yeah so i wasn't but so i guess yeah so i started taking jujitsu

and i started really learning jujitsu and so like um i would be blue belt by now if if it wasn't for this cover shit um because one of my buddies he's still training over there and we started together and he's a blue belt now and we always go at it together um and so they promoted him but i stopped going because there's this whole COVID shit. They're still opening because Houston don't think it's a thing. Yeah, that seems like a great way to get COVID. Right? And as I'm like, one of my professors was on Instagram and one of my comments was like,

hey, man, we miss you, man, when you're coming back. I'm like, y'all are wild. It's got to be second only to volunteer CPR test dummy. Yeah, I was like, literally sex. Is the only better way to say it. Bob here's going to be our victim.

It's fake. That's funny, but when I first started taking jujitsu, just off the whim because i was i was tired of just working out regularly like i was running i was lifting weights and so uh i hit the dude that i just got promoted i hit him i was like he's like really into workouts i was like yo let's let's do something else or like give me something else like what are you into he's like come with me to jujitsu class and i was like what the fuck i'm not doing

no kung fu shit man what the fuck is this but i was like fuck it bro let's go kung fu no it's way gay i had no had had no idea had no this is this is just me i heard i heard jujitsu and i think all the tropes and weren't you surprised until you got into missionary position but carry on well well yeah so what what drew me was I was there. At this time, I'm 230, right? Right now, I'm 220. But at this time, I'm 240, actually. I'm 240.

And I'm grappling. And they just threw you in the fire. They're like, grapple. They taught me very little at first. They were like, you're an athlete. You'll pick it up. I went to a sparring little at first. They were like, you're an athlete. You'll pick it up. I went to a sparring class at first. And I got tapped out by a fucking 16-year-old.

And he was like 140. And I tapped. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, I should be whooping this little dude's ass. And he tapped me out. And a lot of that detours people from jujitsu. For me, I was like,

give me more because there's, this shouldn't happen. And how was he able to do this? I wanted to be, I thought, I think I, before I was like, I could fight,

you know, I could hold my own in a, in a street fight or whatever. But if I meet somebody who understands this, I have no chance. Like if we go to the ground, I have no chance. I bet you beat that 16 year old

if you add striking if you add strike just because you're you may maybe though oh maybe who knows he if who knows who knows like how whiff on a punch and he tackles me and we're on the ground now and that was the beautiful thing that I learned about jiu-jitsu is I read a quote from somebody who practiced jiu-jitsu and they said um uh in jujitsu the ground is the ocean and and not everybody knows how to swim and that shit is the truth and i and and i didn't understand it until i really started learning the art of it and then that took me back to answer your question carl like it took me back to understanding the history of jujitsu like where it started from how it stemmed and then the introduction to mma and the Gracie's. I learned the whole history of this shit. It just blew my mind.

I used to look at MMA as barbaric. I was like, I don't want to watch that shit. Boxing was as far as I got for a blood sport. But when I learned jujitsu and I started getting into MMA, I was like, you could see the art form rather than just the gore. Like you could see different styles match with the Muay Thai versus the Jiu Jitsu and then the boxing and the wrestling and all that shit mixed together. And I was like, it's a beautiful art form where I didn't really respect it before because I didn't understand it. Yeah. And then there's guys who just seemingly don't give a fuck like Nate Diaz. It's like, oh, you are good at boxing. Keep it up.

You're getting tired, aren't you? I like the heart of it, too. A guy can lose a fight and gain your respect if there's a lack of quit in him, if there's a drive. Tommy Tohold did this great description of the Nate Diaz-Cowboy Cerrone fight. If you haven't seen it, oh my gosh. So these guys both came into the fight thinking they were going to win. And I haven't described that well enough just then. They both came in thinking it was insane that the other guy thought they were going to win.

And they're both kind of chip on their shoulder alpha dudes. And they're flipping each other off and they're cursing and they hated each other. Two rounds into it, it is not going well for Cowboy Cerrone. Cowboy Cerrone is just getting wrecked. And these are elite athletes, elite athletes,

some of the greatest fighters in the world. And Nate Diaz, after the second round before the third, flips the bird at Cowboy. And Cowboy's like, yeah, you're right. And then Cowboy goes out there for the third round and gives it his all. And he just takes another round of punishment. And Nate Diaz wins by decision.

Cool. But you have to finish that thinking, oh my God, 1% of the people on this earth would go out there for that third round because fuck this, it's obviously not his day, but he's going to call it what you will, face the music,

try his best, give it his all. He's going to do it. And he did. And he didn't. Zero chance. It was cooked, right? Some days it's not your day. And he went out there and he did and he didn't zero chance it he was cooked right some days it's not your day and he went out there and he showed his heart and well i still fuss at cowboys sometimes you know

i have to respect that performance you have to have to so there's there's the style and the art and the technique to it and then there's a certain will that fighting requires in a way that i feel like baseball doesn't oh definitely not definitely not baseball yeah i picked that one on purpose or i could use curling there's a lot of chilling in baseball a little bit i'm gonna take the week off all right bob cool right are you sure you want to miss 10 games i've got nintendo thumb a little comment five six hundred a year i'll be all right yeah uh huge ufc card coming up this weekend um jorge masvidal being added just adds it it might be the best card of the year it i think it's the best card thus far of the year there's a couple big cards coming up um uh you never know when connor's gonna fight khabib is

supposed to fight this year sometime and uh know when connor's gonna fight khabib is supposed to fight this year sometime and uh obviously um butterball is gonna fight at some point what's his name um jesus he is he's so round uh but but this is a huge card i've got it pulled up here somewhere it's uh kamara uzman fighting jorge masvidal for belt. Volkanovski fighting Max Holloway for the second time. Max trying to get his belt back. Peter Yan going against Jose Aldo. Whenever Jose Aldo fights, it's a great fight. Jessica Andrade fighting Rose Namajunas for the second time.

Really rooting for Rose, but God, last time she got dropped on her fucking skull and you thought she was paralyzed. And two of the hottest women in mixed martial arts, her fucking skull and you thought she was paralyzed and two of the hottest women in mixed martial arts and page van zandt and amanda rebus uh facing off at the bottom of the card and that's just the main card it's a great fucking card i i'm so excited for this it's gonna be huge and they're doing it on fight island which adds a little something to it i think at least it does for me i'm very excited for this thing i really want jorge to win um because he's just so he's such an entertainer he's so funny and

kamaro doesn't entertain me i don't find him to be interesting or funny whereas jorge kind of is a meme you know he's always photoshopping himself into like grand theft auto and stuff like that and wearing outlandish robes and just being silly and ridiculous sorry he has a bit of a nate diaz thing going on where he just kind of tells his truth and it's so unfiltered and it can be kind of funny and he's rough around the edges he's a thug and i like that you know in fighting like fuck yeah that's about as real as it gets and you got guys like wonder boy who it's like oh man this guy's a boy scout who just happens to be one of the baddest people on the planet i bet i can have a very intelligent conversation with him

but then you got somebody like jorge where it's like i bet this guy's sold some drugs before i bet this guy's beaten somebody up over a drug debt before i bet this guy has slapped a woman before this is a rough customer right this guy has a thug customer yeah and uh and i like that in my fighter i like i like fighters who are bad motherfuckers i don't need them to be boy scouts i don't need them to be admirable or role models i kind of hold that against them i want you to be kind of a piece of shit like your job is to go into a ring with another man and hurt him as severely as possible. I don't need you to be doing charity work outside the ring. I don't care what your religion is. I don't care if you've got a good family life. I don't care if

you're honorable or if you cheat on your wife or not. I prefer if you do fuck some bitches on the side. Let's go. I want a bad motherfucker inside and outside the ring that that is not i don't want an admirable guy i don't want a good guy i want a mean bad motherfucker preferably with some weird body hair and some facial scars and i want you to have some illegitimate kids i want you to to like have a criminal record if at all possible i'd love that if you got some prison tats that look like snow did them i'm a hundred percent on board that's why i like guys like john jones and conor mcgregor that's why i like guys like jorge masvidal and nate diaz i like people who are real as fuck and

it's like man if this guy weren't fighting on tv right now he'd be in an alley somewhere in a scrap with somebody he'd be in a bar somewhere and honestly that's why i like mike perry mike perry won two weeks ago no he won two days ago he he keeps on winning two weeks ago though he won on television right and uh post fight they do the little interview and he's like you know i'm not one of these guys that complains about the ufc not paying enough they paying me plenty all right they paying me plenty but the government needs to stop reaching in my pocket this is bullshit because you know obviously he gets paid as a contractor so no taxes are taken out and he forgets that right so he's he makes 200 grand he spends 200 grand he's like he's like we me and the irs gonna have to work on this this is ridiculous and they just let him keep going

instead of being like all right mike uh well anyway you were really working the jab in there and i liked your footwork no No, they're like, really? Tell us more. He's like, I don't know, man. They're just reaching in my pocket. Donald Trump's going to have to do something. This week, seven days later. Wait, wait, there's more.

This is my favorite part. He's like, maybe we could do my contract over something, and get the UFC to take taxes out, because if you give me 200 grand, I'm going to spend it. That's just how it is the man is not fucking kidding because he probably made about 200 grand i would guess that's where he is if he wins a fight dude so he's complaining about his taxes and having problems with the irs two weeks ago this week he by the way he did not bring a corner man or a coach to the fight he

brought his fucking girl he brought his hotass girlfriend in to be his corner. And so this week, he's taking her to the dealership. She yelled, punch him in the face. All right. He's doing that. He's like, best coach ever. Great advice. And she's pretty fucking hot.

And so this week, bought her a brand new truck like a fifty thousand dollar suv he was just complaining about his irs money troubles dropped dropped like 50 grand on a truck and then but the week like three days prior he had bought her a tesla on instagram so it's like either he bought her two fucking cars worth about 150 grand in one week or he bought the tesla returned it and then went with the suv in any case wildly irresponsible last night well i have a video of what he did last fucking night and by the way mike perry fits the bill of being a street thug a bad motherfucker a a guy who is not eloquent a guy who is not to be admired. You don't want your kids

to be like Mike Perry, but if you're going to watch somebody fight in a fucking cage against another man and be a bad motherfucker and make you laugh and entertain you along the way, this video shows you why Mike Perry might just be that guy for you. I am cute at zero. I am cute at zero. I'm ready to watch this guy fight. I need a moment. My embedded never works like I want. Just be that guy for you. I am cute at zero. I am cute at zero. I'm ready to watch this guy fight. I need a moment. My embedded never works like I want it. I mean, you made him sound pretty cool, Kyle. He's got some face tattoos, too.

The cool, the best decisions. I am cute at zero. The whole minute and such? Yeah. Yeah, you want to see the buildup. All right. Ready, set, play. No, no, I stay here.

Let's go. I stay here. What do you want, set, play. That's his girl. Which one? That one with the pink or the first one? They both look the same to me. They all did, right? Yeah, they look really... It's pretty fuzzy. Y'all calling the cops?

I'll stay because if I leave, I have a time zone.'ll stay because if I leave, I have a tie. So they want him to leave, but he feels like he should stay so he's not missing when the police arrive. Because if I leave, did you touch me? Oh, mine buffered.

Oh, he's faded. Wait, wait, wait. Can you guys go back to 32 seconds? Or 31, 32? Yep. 32. Okay. I 32? 32. Okay. I paused at 32.

I am scrolling back. Okay. They called the police on him and he's saying he doesn't know. He invented that, I think. They really just want him to leave. And he's like, I'm not leaving. What if you call the police and I'm not here when they get here? Are you guys ready?

I think so. Ready, set, play. Touch me? Oh, you didn't touch me? He was trying to calm you down, bro. You were hitting my damn phone. He touched me. You were hitting my fucking phone.

So he touched me. I'm going to send him to you. He touched me. You can all lie to him if you want to. This old guy on the left side of the frame needs to shut the fuck up. It's good advice. He's mocking him.

Don't you mock Mike Perry. Now you knock the fuck out. Jesus Christ, gonna kill him. Good night, old man. I'll go Conor McGregor on your ass you don't think I would hit an old man they're very upset alright that's probably enough it's just screaming at this point

yeah he's back to where he pops that guy I want to see him so the old guy kind of comes at him with one of these this i believe joe rogan narrating this am i tripping i think he was present at the but i do like that he hit him so hard in the side of the head that it like laterally turned his body so he didn't even he didn't even crumple like potatoes he like almost lifted him.

Was that a right hook he threw or some sort of right check hook? I don't know. He threw a fucking right hook. And the guy was coming at him with like this number and like crowding him. And it was a big guy who looks like he's late 40s, early 50s, somewhere in there maybe. Had to be 50s. Had to be 50s actually. Some of the old dude that he hit?

Yeah. He's 50s, 60s though. Arian knows his ages he's KO'd now he woke up somewhere else he transported that day he should have left fucking Platinum Mike Perry the fuck alone if you're ever at a bar and Platinum Mike Perry

is screaming maybe you don't want to rush him don't touch him he's not a fan of being touched he hates it is screaming maybe you don't want to rush him don't touch him don't touch him don't touch him he's not a fan of being touched he hates it he hates being touched he really does and it's it's funny it's like did you touch me and his girl's like he was trying to calm you down because you hit that man but he touched me and i'm just like i just like, my head goes here. I think he felt like the touching was this giant sign of disrespect, maybe?

Or maybe something he could leverage into justification for almost anything. Like, of course I punched him four minutes later. He did touch me on the shoulder or elbow or wherever he touched him. You know? Seems that he'd been drinking yeah well i mean he's at a bar he's having a few drinks they said he was drinking some berry mojitos or something like that and uh you know when mike when platinum mike perry is enjoying his berry mojito you do not touch him you do not disrespect him and if you are about to have your aarp card you certainly don't fucking rush him

look at me you do not breathe near yeah he's it seems like uh he i think you know i think he overreacted i i love that video i wish he'd uh not said those things he said at the very end uh especially not screaming them in public uh but um but everything up to that i was i was loving i'm sorry what did I was loving he starts dropping some racial slurs there at the very end that's why I wanted to end it there but is it the one that rhymes with bigger

yes of course haven't you learned your lesson I just forgot Icarus flying so close to the sun I have said that word zero times since then i learned a lesson that day oh that's funny yeah that's a really good video kyle mike perry is it that made him so much i saw people on reddit it's funny to see the two different reddit threads right there's the the mma reddit thread right and they're all

like talk shit get hit bro talk shit and then there's the public freak out uh subreddit and they're like oh ufc will cut him for sure and people are like john jones nearly killed a pregnant woman with cocaine in his system he got a year suspension and it wasn't even for that it was for steroids they just lumped it all together. Oh, wow. I didn't know none of that. Oh, yeah. You didn't know about John Jones?

John Jones is my favorite. I heard about cocaine, but I never heard of it. I'm not into next-door MMA. I'd just be watching the fights. He was driving. I don't know if cocaine was true while he was driving, but he's definitely been caught with cocaine several times. You sure of it, Kyle? He was in his system.

He had cocaine in his system. He had a marijuana pipe in his car. Yeah. So then he hits his car into this pregnant woman and broke her arm. Now, cars nowadays, it takes a pretty good accident to break an arm, right? Cars have gotten so much safer. I can only imagine the collision that it takes to break someone's arm. Cool.

Soy boy bitch probably had weak arms john jones can't be so then he runs from the scene with that right he hits and runs pregnant woman broken arm and he's like fuck it i'm out of here he's got places to be all right so then he says oh wait a minute i've got like a woman where's she going a crack pipe a bowl i don't know what he has in his car but he's got some sort of drug paraphernalia back in the car. So he runs back to the car, not helping the woman, gets his drug paraphernalia. Then he hits it, but he runs twice. He hits once and runs twice.

And he got caught for that. He's getting his cardio in. He's the champion of the world. He was so bad. You can't be mad at that. I can't be mad at that. You can't be mad at that. So I put where you was talking about

your amputee. Oh, fuck yeah. You got some amputee hoes? I just I was on TikTok. I think it's got music attached though. It does. And it's hilarious. You could watch it, Woody, but you got music attached, though. It does, and it's hilarious. You could watch it, Woody, but you got to watch it muted.

I don't know how to click on this. It's a joke. That girl is obviously joking, but it's really funny how she did this. I mean, she really doesn't have... Oh, that's funny. That's hilarious. I only noticed the eyeball thing the second time I watched it, but god damn, those are some fucked arms. It's great that she has

Spaghetti-O arms, but she still has enough happiness in her life to break it down. Facts, right? That's what I got out of it. Honestly, I got out of it. You're still doing your thing. But she obviously recorded that by herself. You know she uses those arms on somebody

yeah somebody's getting penetrated by those arms i mean why not why not play the hands you're dealt man or the hands that you weren't dealt oh man it's hard to laugh at this but this is really creative oh it's not that hard yeah that's kind of that's gotta be a rough fucking night not as hard as it is for her to wipe her ass she's got a bidet I bet oh I guarantee she's got a bidet I hope she got the one we're sponsored by

I haven't got my bidet yet did you guys get your bidets in the mail no I haven't received my bidet yet. Did you guys get your bidets in the mail? No, I haven't received a single bidet. Hmm. A bid... A bidoxin? I don't know. A bidazzle. A bidazzle, maybe. A bidazzle of them.

You put two on the same toilet, absolutely blast. But yeah, I like my UFC fighters to be part-time criminals and to be about what they're about. I really do. When Conor McGregor hit that old man in the bar that time and everybody was like, boo, I was like, fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Sucker punched that old fucker.

I bet he said something rude. Yeah, so borderline kill him. He didn't want to drink and Connor was trying to sort of force his whiskey down everybody's throats. An Irish man who won't take free whiskey is no man at all.

It does seem like an unbelievable story now that you break it down. Yeah. There must be more. I don't care if you're clean four months. You're having some. Why are your accents so on point? The Irish and the Russian one. I mean, what else we got?

There's so many. Many. I drive around in my car and talk to myself as different people. Totally normal. That's why I can't get behind somebody like Daniel Cormier, who's like a good-natured family man who fights for a living. Spends his spare time coaching high school wrestlers. Oh, that's the

worst anybody who's into charity too get the fuck out of here you shouldn't have if you've got enough your extra money should be going to pay off baby mamas and buy abortions and shit if you're if you've got enough free time and money to be doing charity shit then you're not the kind of fighter that i want to watch it is not does it bother you at all when fighters beat up like normal citizens at all? Like I prefer it. I love it when fighters beat up normal citizens because I, I think equal rights, what is it?

Equal rights for equal, what was it? Equal rights and equal lefts or something like that. Something like that. Like, like the same way if a woman hits a man, like legitimately attacks a man, I like it when he beats the shit out of her.

I equally like it when a fucking civilian goes after a UFC-trained fighter and he fucking dunks on their ass. When Cowboy Cerrone head-kicked that guy on the beach and KO'd him, I love that story. When Conor McGregor sucker-punched that old man, I love it. When Hormé Masvidal knocked that bitch out in the bathroom

and he doesn't even know if it was the guy who was after him or not. Hilarious story. So are you saying that hyperbolically? No, I love that. You honestly enjoy that shit. I honestly enjoy that shit. These guys, like, I'll never understand how people are like, oh, whoa, whoa, he fought at the wrong time. We only think it's okay for him

to fight when he gets inside the cage and we turn the cameras on. You're telling me he's an actually violent person? It's like, yeah, all he does all day, every day is train to do physical combat. And you're surprised when he KOs a citizen who gets in his face? Philosophically, I do not disagree with you. I don i had i was having that debate online with people um when um i forget the name but the dude from cleveland browns he hit buddy in the head with the helmet yeah and there was outrage and i'm like why are y'all outraged like people get cte from this sport you just don't like your concussions within the rules of what you're okay with right i do philosophically agree with you but it doesn't

mean i enjoy it like i don't like i don't like it because i put myself in the position of a normal person because that's that's where i am so like let's let's take him down the line uh cowboy hit that guy now the way he tells the story is the guy kind of got up in his face what did he kick sand on his girlfriend like it's some he bumped his boat he bought it's like some 1950s archie i think there was kicking sand involved archie cartoon sand kicking girlfriend insulting and hit and run on it on his watercraft i am this man is a redneck it doesn't get more serious than that i am suspicious that cowboys version of the events is totally what happened, right? That Cowboy's like, I can only take so much more bullying from myself.

We have to take the man at his word. We can't. Meanwhile, Cowboy's a professional fighter who wants me to believe that random boaters are bullying him, and he had to stand up for himself and his girlfriend's honor. But let's say that's possible. There was at least a disagreement that led to to lead to all right all right cool now let's go to the next one conor mcgregor right conor mcgregor punch or actually i would say the next in the line is mike perry is the one we just saw uh fat old guy

who's clearly not a threat to mike perry who's like still in shape from his last training camp does what some sort of calming he's rushing he's rushing it was him or me right dude dude i'd have hit that old man too i don't know i really like a trip in that situation i feel like he could have held his wrist guide him to the ground and said now look at you you're on the ground now you don't knock that motherfucker out you choked him out i've seen you choke out children the funniest it is like if that was that kid was probably 18 he might have been 18 so you choke you really choked the cat that was a joke you somebody wrote me and said everybody i know he wrote me i i done done a little present jiu-jitsu too and he's like look i'm on my state wrestling team. We were like seventh this year.

It's really cool, whatever. I want to roll with you. And I didn't write anything because I thought he might be huge or something. I was going to get my ass kicked. And then he meets me at the paintball event. And he's like, Woody, I'm the one that wrote you. I want to roll.

I had 50 pounds on this kid. So I said, okay. I said, yes. Change your battles wise. Next thing you know, this poor little son of a bitch is guillotined off the ground, legs kicking. And he's just like, go to sleep, little boy. Your mommy's not here now. I stopped first tap.

He tapped, and it was cool. It was a nervous reaction, that tap. But yeah, it was bigger than him. But he was a grappler, and we grappled, and it was fun. We don't know that old man's sports history. He probably played a little bit of pigskin back in the day, one of those leather caps on. That old man was ripe for the picking.

But at least he's's i feel like he started it almost you don't know mike paris clearly overreacting and he's but it seemed like the old man was alphaing him to some extent you know so that's why i put him second the connor one the connor one there's a old man sitting in a bar elbows on the table i don't know it's worst case scenario he maybe said something to connor like i don't want your flipping drink and connor hits him in the face that one's really pretty uncalled for right that connor started that fight at worst the guy disrespected his isn't it illegal like isn't it like yeah i think this is all fine in ireland if you're connor and then the worst one is jose masvidal so jose masvidal gets in some sort of disagreement

in a nightclub and there's two guys if i have it right and he hits them both and wins pop pop pop pop both of them out both of them out so then jose decides to go to the bathroom and thank you uh jorge decides to go to the bathroom and like clean up or what have you right you know wash the blood off of his knuckles perhaps not his own blood obviously and uh then another person just a random guy in the popping off nightclub walks through the door so jose knocks him out too and jill sonnen's interviewing him and he's like how do you even know he was with the other ones and and jorge damn it is like i couldn't chance it you couldn't chance it motherfucker you're like one of the best 185 founders in the world 170 used. But he used to do 155.

Big boy, regardless, walking around 195. Big boy, yeah, of athlete. And he couldn't chance a regular person being in the same room as him. That one to me was the worst of the worst. The man could have cut him, could have stuck him, could have blew some sort of drugs in his eyes. People do that. I've seen it in movies.

Cocaine. That's what happened to my that's what happened to the people's champ john bones jones he was he was he's he's a hundred percent natty he was in the park doing his doing his 325 pound walking lunges some fucking crackhead came up to him blew fucking steroids on him blue fucking steroids on. Now he pops hot and everybody's making him out to be the bad guy when he wasn't even anywhere near that place where the steroids were. He was beating a woman up somewhere. I'm unconvinced that sports shouldn't have steroids anyway, though.

Oh, they should have steroids. I want leagues of sport that are like an auto racing, like if there's a league where there's no restrictor plates. Let's go. What do you mean by restrictor plates? When Lance Armstrong got caught doping, but all he did was

I don't remember the proper terms but he purified his blood or whatever. Yeah. That's not really doping. Are you sure that's all he did i don't think that's that's from my understanding i if i can if i'm wrong when all this came out it was like oh everybody was roasting him but they didn't mention it's like okay but also the people who came in second through 24th were doing the same thing and it's like all right well you were the king among the people doing this

like i know that's the league that Kyle was looking for. Yeah. So I know a lot of dudes that ran track professionally, and they tell me in the Olympics, it'll be harder to find somebody that doesn't dope. Yeah. Did you say you know about the top 100 times? Something like all the top 100 times,

except Usain Bolt, have been busted. Yeah, I think he's actually clean, though. I think he's actually clean. Well, he's actually clean he's a genetic freak he's never been caught i look forward to like 2030 technology retesting his blood just to see i'm curious it's weird to me that the best ever clean one from what i know he's actually clean but he's like okay the reason why he's like such a like a like a an anomaly is because to get your turnover with that stride, you just can't do it. And when you have a long stride, people with faster turnover, usually you're going to catch them. But that stride and his form, it just doesn't happen a lot. So it's just a rare case.

He could be dope, I don't know. He should have done it. It's just like everybody does. You know what? Except the best one. I was going to say, he should have done. It's just like everybody does except the best one. He should have looked into the NFL. Or I guess if you're already the best runner on earth, maybe not worth it.

It's not worth it, man. He was the greatest runner ever. What about some other runner? What about the bronze medalist? Could they do well in the NFL? How come it never happens? It just depends. It just depends.

There's a lot of fast dudes. I know a lot of fast dudes that just suck at football. It just is what it is. But I remember one time, Usain Bolt broke the world record the first time. And there was some older track dude. He was a legend, too. I think he broke it one time. Somebody asked him, is he the greatest ever?

And he was like, nah, man. He's got a lot to prove still. I'm like, this isn't basketball. He broke the record. He's the greatest ever. This number was the number to beat. He's faster than this. Think about that sport, right?

It's not like basketball. There's so many intangibles. There's so many stats. It's like, well, he did all this and this and that. But he was terrible in the postseason, and that's what really counts. Look at this other guy who was kind of average all year round, but when the fucking postseason came around, I got like Derek Jeter, who you see his numbers through the regular season.

It's like he started his steroid cycle to fucking peak during postseason. His numbers go up by like 20% when he gets in fucking October. It's like, that's a fucking all-star player. That's the guy. Who cares if you beat the fucking Orioles eight times and you hit in X amount of RBIs if you can't do shit in the postseason. That's why I'm from Atlanta. So like the Braves, we have the record

for most consecutive postseason appearances. It's like 15 years in a row we went in the postseason. We won one championship. It's a disgusting stat. It's absurd. It's absurd to go 15 times in a row and win once. They'll turn it around. Fuck you.

Fucking Cardinal fan. You piece of shit. You piece of shit. It's funny. Very upsetting. I'm going to get a Cardinals ban just to ban her. Don't even give a fuck about baseball. Oh yeah, that would be a really

lame thing to do. Spiteful. Now that we have the cup, it's okay. We can handle the bants a little better. That's how the Blues were. The Blues made the playoffs 2026. Golden Knights didn't win one?

No. Well, show us what I know. This whole time, you thought the banner behind you won the Stanley Cup. I had to think for a minute. Who did they lose to? Can you remind me who they lost to? They lost to Washington. Oh, okay. I remember that.

Ovechkin and his gang. Dude, I don't know if they're the greatest team ever. That poster makes fun of COVID, and this one makes fun of you. These are the same banners. That poster makes fun of COVID, and this one makes fun of you. These are the Spikes banners. I know they are. One time Kyle bought like a $150 very nice NHL Chicago Hawks sweater, like pullover hoodie, just because that's my team's rival, and we had just been like knocked out of the playoffs by them.

He dropped $160 on it, which is a lot of money for a spite gift. To myself. To yourself. Peak petty. I was really hoping that... I can't remember who the St. Louis Blues, his hockey team, was playing last year when they won the Cup

in the finals. I had a whole Boston surprise for Taylor. I had a whole Boston surprise for Taylor. Like, I had a whole group of people working with me on it. I was going to have a cake sent to his house that was like, it could only be you with, like, all Boston, like, frosted cake. There was going to be, like, all sorts of Boston memorabilia coming

in, like, tiny packages so they were annoying to open and shit. Like, there was going to be a big banner behind me like like like boston bruins 2019 stanley cup champions yeah and and then and then like fucking blues one and i'm just i'm just on amazon like cancel cancel call the bakery call the bakery i can't i can't be bothered with that right now do you know how many fucking hockey sticks i've got to send back? And like the first show back after the Blues won, because I'm a real avid hockey fan. The Blues had never won before.

Oldest team to have never won one. 67 to now, first time. And I was like so excited to talk about it and go through the series and everything, even though nobody who listens to the show gives a fuck about hockey. And immediately, or soon after, Kyle's like, I had so much planned and, you know, it's just kind of ruined my day just ruined i was really looking forward to you being sad about it yeah yeah i like spite gifts and joke gifts um i sent kitty this thing the other day it's like this big um cylinder like you put a poster in but it says big ass dildo

company guaranteed to make you come. So the mailman would have been like, good Lord. Cause it's like a, it's like a 20 inch cylinder. That's like this big around from the big ass dildo company. And, uh, and I,

I messaged her, I'm like, Hey, uh, I sent you a gift. Oh really? What'd you send me? Lovely.

Lovely. I'm like, go check the mail. You'll love it. And then a few minutes later i get a message you motherfucker i know that mailman i'm like you're lucky i didn't send it registered mail so you had to sign for it you can you can send your friends dildos for only 12.99 it was like yeah i don't think there's actually a dildo in there no there, it's an empty fucking tube. Yeah. I fully expect to have something awful sent to me now

that's equally embarrassing. So I'm bracing for impact. From Kitty. From Kitty, yeah. She'll want some payback for that. She uploaded it to TikTok, and she was asking for ideas to fuck with me. So something will happen.

All right. Arian, would you like to tell our fans about what you got what you're up to pimp something uh man i ain't really doing shit man honestly uh i guess uh i'm in the mixing process of a new album that i'm excited about uh i don't know if last time i was on uh i signed with mass appeal. It's a nauseous record label. Cool. And so it's my first project under them. Um, and so I'm excited about that.

So it's, it's, it's the albums done, but it's about getting mixed and mastered and in the market and all that shit. Uh, other than that, just look out for that.

Just follow my socials. Um, I'm on two. Oh, I'm on Twitch now. We plugged earlier though. So yeah, play games, shoot the shit. I just, I don't be doing shit. I'm on Twitch now we plugged earlier though yeah we'll link that up play games, shoot the shit

I don't be doing shit, I just be enjoying enjoying the games man Bobby Fino on Twitch with two E's B-O-B-B-Y-F-E-E-N-O Bobby Fino one word yeah enjoy cool stuff man

thank you so much for coming on i was gonna say that too a bit the people watching don't know uh you actually scheduled to come on a couple weeks from now our guest had to cancel last minute and you stepped up and we are thankful yep big deal we really appreciate it yeah no doubt man you know it's four hours out of your night that you weren't planning on really appreciate it thank you so much no doubt and i appreciate y'all having me as always man it's a joy and a pleasure for sure much love really always all right pkn 499