Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #500

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

In this week's PKA, we celebrate 500 Episodes of PKA! Dick Masterson graces us with his hilarious presence for the entire show, and we've got our pal Bruce Greene kicking it for the first half until radio legend, Anthony Cumia joins for the back half of the show. The guys play and discuss their conspiracy theory game, trying to convince others of shenanigans to believe in, and we bring back and play the Guess! That! Offense! game with degenerates from the registered offender list. So we hope you enjoy and celebrate this episode with us!

Pink Killer already, episode 500 with our guests Dick and Bruce I think halfway through the show we swap out Bruce and Anthony Cumia and 500, Taylor 500, just another normal show guys, this episode is brought to you by Tushy and Blue Chew, two high

quality sponsors, we're going to get to a little bit later one to keep your ass clean and one to keep your dick hard, so Dick Bruce, thank you so much for coming on guys for our 500th episode kyle what's up you guys that's an achievement guys that's a big one jumping up and down at 500 are you maybe it's like a marriage like year 10th anniversary you're like all right are we still doing this i feel like all my achievements lately are related to being old it's not really

that cool do you guys even feel like it is because this is like a thesius's ship of anniversaries for you like none of you have this isn't none of this is none of your 500th episode correct yeah correct yeah yeah i'm probably at like 350 like yeah probably like four probably like 417 490 something maybe i think i've missed six well now this is like water on the whole thing dick a chick version of this show you'd be celebrating your 500th anniversary every month then is that right this is kyle this is kyleena, this is Taylor. Don't put that juju on us. Even in the alternate universe. That's the new fan expectation. As you know,

this is Kyle's birthday month. Hey, don't knock birth month. That's a cool concept. It's a terrible. No, hold on. Hold on a sec.

Hold on a minute. So I had, I had an ex-girlfriend that I had to go to. This is no joke. I had to go to six birthday no joke i had to go to six birthday parties in three days for this person no joke i had to do we did a so we did so it wasn't a surprise party we did a dinner uh another dinner with the other side of the family we did a surprise birthday party we did an actual birthday party and then we did two other family dinners with other parts of her family.

It was insane. I remember taking notes during it, being like, I can't believe I'm going to six birthday parties. How long ago was this? How hot was she? How big were her tits? Better question. I mean, to be honest with you, she was a fantastic person.

It was a great relationship. Was this recently? No, that's not a good answer to how hot was she though like well hold on all right so she was super hot how hot was she let me tell you more about her personality boys no i'm trying to be fucking nice either way if she's watching what she wants to hear is super hot i guarantee i trust me i guarantee she's not watching um okay so uh what was the question somebody asked me a question i was trying how She's watching what she wants to hear is super hot. I guarantee, trust me, I guarantee she's not watching. Okay, so what was the question?

Somebody asked me a question. I was trying to answer. How long ago was this? Oh, this was like eight years ago. Oh, so she was 16. Okay. You motherfucker. You were just setting up a fucking joke. That's all.

Of course I didn't. You didn't give a fuck. You didn't give a shit what this was. I don't care. How many birthday parties did you get in before you started to get really mad i would imagine at one and a half you're like this is absurd uh truthfully i was told about the plans beforehand so i knew that we were doing like two or three of them at least and i was already pissed off i was super upset about what was happening and then we just we had to i mean

you got to do it you got to do what you got to do you know like how does it work if there's six over the course of three days day to afternoon that's a myth you actually don't have to do what you got to do women just tell you that that's a myth well Dick I'm glad you said that

because that's why I'm not in the relationship anymore so you are correct either way I was I was most confused about the surprise birthday party, because we did a bunch of birthday parties before the surprise party. So it didn't make any sense to me why they were throwing a surprise party after doing other smaller parties. I like to think the surprise party wasn't even the last one. Right?

Really? So she had a surprise party and then a couple scheduled parties after that yes yes it was wild that is that is so retarded what everyone went along with this uh yeah it was it was not really out of the norm for that for that family not really all got six so there were days where it was like, all right, we got to head out. Thank you so much for the party, but I've got to make it to a birthday party. Yes, every weekend was that.

Again, by the way, I envy people with huge family. She had a huge family, but it wasn't my family. How big is yours? My family is very small. I'm an only child so my my immediate family is my mom and dad and me and then like i've got cousins and uncles and aunts kind of

floating around but it's not like i see them every single weekend or every even every six months okay no i'm really happy to have a small family i i don't i don't like most of the family of god i want more some people are like that. Like I said, I envied they had a really amazing family unit that I was like, obviously not a part of but I thought it was cool except for the six birthday parties I had to go to. You're not with her anymore. You don't have to tell these lies.

Again, here's the deal. I don't talk about the ones that I don't want to talk about. Oh, I see. Yeah, exactly. Anyways, I don't talk about the ones that I don't want to talk about. Yeah, exactly. Anyways, there you go. It's like a birthday party.

I haven't had a birthday party since I was mid-teens. Have you guys? Do you throw birthday bashes anymore? What's a birthday party? I haven't had a real birthday gift since I was maybe 16. I don't even know what a birthday gift is when you make all the money but as far as a party goes that's something nice that you don't get for yourself woody that's what yeah

indirectly yeah like you know hey i surprised you with this dang i wouldn't it was your money is that what you're saying what did yeah yeah i just gave you that knife that time there's no uh yeah but that was a christmas but yes yeah that was a gift yeah i like that um you lord your your self gifts over your family woody like a week a week before your birthday you come home with the new jet ski and you're like, take that, you dumb motherfuckers. You can't buy me a jet ski now. He just walks in wearing a meat coat.

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Do you give your family like a max spend so you can outspend them? Yeah hopes like i don't i got you something from trader joe's because you gave me 60 it's a bottle of wine that you might like and it's like yeah no no shit yeah fuck yourself no oh you couldn't spring for the the four-wheeler

for christmas my wife put a lot of effort. She got me an out-the-front knife. I like knives, and the blade shoots out the top. It was a hard thing to get. You can't mail them to North Carolinas. She had to work for someone who owned a pawn shop who could mail them to North Carolina. Technically, she bought it from him.

It was this big thing, but in the end, I bought it. Thank you. And you showed her the link to what you wanted too right you were like you know i like this no and then and then you're like here's uh here's my card um i like this it was better than that i have another friend who's into knives and when we got together he like tricked me he he he showed me knives and he's like you know what do you think of this one and i didn't even realize he was like gathering intel on what i might like for my christmas gift until later that's that's a good gift giver that's somebody that actually gives a shit and i was

just gonna ask you guys kyle taylor woody do you guys consider yourself friends no okay i knew i knew i was gonna say no i knew i was gonna say no no. I knew Kyle was going to say no. No, of course. We've known each other for a fucking decade. So then you guys should be getting each other birthday gifts. No, no, no. That's the best thing you can give a male friend. The gift I give Kyle. Yeah, I think Dick and I are on the same page.

Every year for my birthday, I give him the right not to give me a gift, which is exactly what he wanted. Yo, Taylor, right not to give me a gift. Which is exactly what he wanted. Yo, Taylor, you should buy your bosses a gift. No! No! How about no?

This is why I asked, Taylor. You called them your bosses, but not your friend. They can be both. They can totally be both but i was you know do something nice for each other well that is a dumb idea i wish you'd stop saying it i don't even like it in the air out here make make chis by each other present yes oh my gosh the producer of course we we make we make each other laugh hours every week. Hours every week.

It is funny to me, the idea that Chiz should pick out a gift from the show to us for all our birthdays. Chiz actually sent us all that meat that time. Remember that? Oh, yes. That's actually true. Chiz is the only one who sent me a gift. And it was real Spanish chorizo. And I remember I ate most of it all in one night and i had just the roughest day the next day because i went and bought a bunch of cheeses just a big chorizo log and a bunch

of crackers and i felt i was just so food hungover i felt terrible none of us reciprocated and the gifts dried up i bought him some stuff like like Chiz and I have gone on like vacations before and I've paid for stuff so I felt like I was paying him back that way Chiz is just waiting for another box of Burger King Whopper Patties to fall off the truck to get you guys a second

this was like nice sausages like these nice like Spanish chorizo it was from Spain it was great I don't want to say this This was like nice sausages, like these nice Spanish chorizo. It was actually fun. It was great. You know what's terrible? I don't want to say this because I feel like it makes me a bad person, but I thought that was a PKA sponsor the whole time.

I didn't realize that was a gift. That was a gift from Jesus Christ. Did you not notice that we never had a read for meats ever? I don't play it together. We get shit in, the reads come later. I don't know. You thought we were getting sponsored by a chorizo company out of Spain? I'm not a good person.

I'm sorry. You didn't see the card? Woody Chiz wrote like a whole letter about how you would fire him, how he wants to have a family and be like you someday. You didn't read that? I got it. Shit comes in, you know, all the time. I'm like, I don't remember ordering this.

It's probably a sponsor. There was this whole thing he wrote about how he had Spanish heritage and how he grew up with this sort of stuff. He recommended ways for us to make it and try it with other cheeses. I can't tell if you're telling the truth. Wait, are you? No, you're telling the truth? That's not a joke? Woody!

Come on, dude! What? Woody! Is Woody... Woody's like so rich that he gets so much free shit with personalized letters coming to him every single week.

Oh, wow. It's just like, trash, trash, trash. Tree's out, trash. shit with personalized letters coming to him every single week. Trash, trash, trash. Chorizo trash. That is cracking me up. What if I thought we had a chorizo sponsor? This episode of PK is brought to you by a niche Spanish chorizo company.

Oh, yeah. Chorizo. Oh, that's really funny. I'm really sorry, Chiz. Wow, that's good. Oh, my God. Oh, no, I can't jump into Helen Keller yet. We've got to boycott your birthday next year, Woody. Your whole family should just boycott your birthday

so you learn what the value of birthday is. We boycott it every year. That's the new tradition. I have no idea when you gentlemen's birthdays are. None whatsoever. Is it your YouTube channel. Yeah, you guys know mine because I used it. It's in the spring-ish, right?

I think I even... Am I right? Yeah, it's May 9th, 1986. Yeah, it's May 9th, 1986, because that was the original YouTube channel I had. I was not very creative. It wasn't meant to be a YouTube channel. It was meant to be a username that I wouldn't forget.

It's KLM5986. Yeah yeah my fucking initials and my birthday password kyle you might you might like this present my girlfriend gives the greatest presence of anyone i've ever met or imagined in my life i don't know how she does it just must have some kind of different kind of gland in her brain that lets her do it. Last year, she got an artist to draw me with my two favorite huge tit porn stars on either side of me. But this one, you might like this one. She got me an AR-15 bag made out of scrap Tokidoki material because I'm a fairy. And I always talked about wishing that the designer brands would make gun bags.

So she made an AR-15 case out of like scrap Tokidoki material. Oh, that's awesome. That is so cool. It's funny that you mentioned that there's a, there's a machine gun rental place in Vegas and they do that too. They do like Louis Vuitton Prada, like all that stuff they make

yeah they cut up real bags and fucking make like grips for guns and like any piece of leather that can be used on a gun like i saw a lot of grips but they would like integrate them into the guns and when you go there there's not like every every machine gun rental place i've ever been to it's been like a burly gun guy who's like yeah you, you want to shoot this M4 or the MP5? You go there, and they've got big-titted models, and those are your gun saleswomen. Those are the people who take you in the back to shoot the gun store. It's like a Hooters, but for a gun store.

Yeah, it's like a boutique machine gun rental place. I wish I could remember the name of it. Vegas is great. What's Tokidoki? It's a brand that has... They have a bunch of Japanese-looking figures.

They look kind of like weird-looking Smurfs. It's a brand, like little cute little figures all over the material. They make a sports sack. They make backpacks and skirts and shit. I don't know. Okay.

Clothing. Dick, Dick, what do you get for your girlfriend? Um, nothing, nothing good. Nothing good.

Yeah. I'll try to write like a poem and I'll get like two lines into it. I don't know how this is gonna go a poem your first move is i'll take her to my favorite restaurant uh my move that's the best move this sounds like me because this is exactly because my girlfriend's the same way my fiance she uh got me a flight lesson i got to fly a plane uh a couple of years ago which was and by the way i've told her for you i've always told her for years i'm like man i wish i was a pilot i wish i could get my pilot's license whatever and she was like well here i got

you this gift and we went and did it it was fucking awesome and then what i do is i take her out to my favorite mexican place el cholo and she loves mexican food but I feel so bad because I'm so bad at gift giving. I'm terrible. Anything you want. I know. You can get enchilada and a taco if you want. But I'm just so bad at it. And I wish I could be better. I don't know how to be better at it.

I'm terrible. Here's what you do. I got a tip for you. Do one-on, one-off. That's what I had to do. So every other Christmas, I get everybody nothing. And then the next year, I have enough resolve to buckle down and get them good stuff. And same thing for birthdays.

Like I'll get her something great. And then the next year, I'd be like, you know what? I just like, you know, it's off year for me. It's a rebuilding year. It's off year. It's like a sports team. We're rebuilding. We need to get some.

That's what I do. But you're buying really dope presents on the on years for your like your nephews and nieces and all that right oh yeah man yeah yeah but then the next year's like yeah no uncle's uncle's hung over today kids sorry i'm really terrible at gift giving with with women at least like um i always figure find something like useful to get from my dad like he's got he wears like size 13 or size 14 shoes and so i started thinking about it i'm like i bet this motherfucker's been wearing large socks his entire fucking life which are meant to go from like 8 to 12 i bet he doesn't even i bet he doesn't even know that they make extra large socks for big feet

and uh like i bought him some some like expensive socks that are like whatever 12 to size 12 to 16 and he's like i didn't know that my feet could be so comfortable that's so nice i've gone through 60 years of life and never never have my feet been this good this comfortable for and i got him some some of those button-up white-tail shirts, which are like, I don't know, like comfortable warm work shirts for the wintertime. And he just loves that shit. The socks are – I also wear size 13,

and I know the socks that would fit him are right next to the ones that he's purchasing for the last 60 years. You just one look to the right, oh, now there's an X in front of the L. And he just never went for them. My mom would always buy the socks. He doesn't buy socks. Oh, there you go. the last 60 years you just one look to the right oh now there's an x in front of the l and he he just never never never went my mom would always buy the socks he doesn't buy socks oh there you fair enough that bitch yeah ruining his purpose it was yeah she's probably doing on presence she's like you know these are great and you can go yell at mom you know what she was doing she was doing a foot binding she was trying to make his trying

to make his feet smaller japanese foot binding that's a practice that died out far too early if you ask me i think the chinese did that we should bring that back it was the chinese the japanese bring it back it was the chinese but also google that those feet are fucking gross don't you want to put that crippled deformed foot in your mouth and just suck it? Are we bringing it back for women or for dads? For both. I don't discriminate. You know, in Scary Movie, the guy with the fucked up hands, take my good hand.

Take my strong hand. My strong hand. It's all fucked up. No, no, give me your other hand. No, it's not strong. His hand is just disgusting. Get it off me! Yeah, look at foot binding.

First of all, one thing you'll notice, none of these women seem very pleased with it. Oh, they loved it. What? No, they loved it. Because if you get your feet bound, that's a real sign of wealth and power. Cause obviously you're crippled now.

So you're not able to do any housework, but it's, it's suggesting that you've got help to do all that for you. You don't even need to walk anymore. Kyle, are you saying that? Are you saying that like a female circumcision? They love that because then they don't have to worry about having sex. Some do some sign up for it. I here's the thing. They love that because then they don't have to worry about having sex. Some do. Some do. Some sign up for it. I,

here's the thing. I'm going to say that you're right about one. One of them might sign up for it. Maybe. But then she realized, of course, no one signs up for it. I'm a fucking asshole.

No women sign up for female circumcision. They literally scrape their fucking clitoris off. It's a nightmare. It's a, it's a, it's a terrible, terrible nightmare. Yes.

Yes, it is. Just like footbinding. I just want to make sure. We do this thing where on our Patreon, if you pay $50 a month, you get to hang out with us for a couple hours every month. It's coming up at the end of the month. It's pretty soon.

One of the guys is in the Navy. He does some internship at a hospital, I believe. He oversaw a circumcision the other day. And the young man was a little bit older than people normally are when they get circumcised. I don't remember exactly, like maybe 16 weeks, something like that.

And the dad wants the circumcision to go down. The mom does not. And so there's already this tension going on well they they intubate the kid right and um as soon as they put the uh there's like a thing they put in to like open the throat and then they slide the intubating tube in and then they pull the other thing out you may have seen that happen before they do this and the kid flat lines beep it's fucking dead on the table. So they're just fucking bringing this little fucker back to life. I don't know, chest

compressions or whatever. Maybe they get out that little tiny paddles. I don't know. I just imagine these itty-bitty paddles. Kids die in circumcision procedures every year, either from infections or lots of things. Well, some things are worth dying for. So they bring him back.

They have to life flight him to like another hospital that can handle like pediatric fucking. What's the emergency? This child still has his dick skin. We'll send a helicopter. It's like a team of guys. So they fly him out and he's like, the mom is fucking losing her shit on the dad because it's his idea to get the kid snipped. mom is fucking losing her shit on the dad because it's his idea to get the kid snipped and uh and and he's like i told him ma'am as a happily circumcised man i think we're making the right decision here all right and it's right to do it now you don't want to wait because she had said

i want to wait till he's older so he can make the decision himself he's like no you don't i had a friend and he told me this uh story as well he had a friend who got circumcised like let's call it 20 25 years old something like that i think a girlfriend wanted him cut and uh he oh what a bitch our friend laid eyes on the cock a couple week or so after it had been circumcised and he said it looked like he had stuck his dick in a blender. It looked atrocious. Like it was fucked. Because as an infant you heal much faster as well. But forget

about the fact that you don't have any memory of being an infant. And so no trauma. But you also heal much, much faster. Your body is growing at a ridiculous rate. You've still got stem cells cooking. So you don't want to get circumcised later in life.

I'm blown away that your answer to that is, so snip the dick skin off day one instead of just don't do it. Just don't do it. The rest of the world's doing just fine. The fact that our country and a couple groups are like, this is the right thing to do. It's actually healthier. It's way better for you. Oh, the rest

of the world, the other 6.8 billion people on Earth? No, no. It seems to work fine for them, though. But not us. Not us. Are you against other kinds of cosmetic surgery, Taylor? It's not a cosmetic surgery if you're pinning down a one-day-old and cutting their penis skin off. Hey, hey, it's

still a cosmetic surgery. I don't think it's's still a cosmetic surgery. I don't think it's involuntary cosmetic surgery. I agree. I don't think we should be removing that umbilical cord either. Why are we taking that off?

Whoa, the IQ of this take. That should be dragging behind the baby. What a salient example what a good example oh they pull him out and they immediately cut off his life supply that he's living every moment of his existence oh i'm blowing up i've never considered this hey you know what happens if you don't cut off the umbilical cord it falls off on its own you know what doesn't happen when you leave dick skin on it doesn't fall off on its own. You know what doesn't happen when you leave dick skin on? It doesn't fall off on its own. Kyle, you're pro-circumcision.

Absolutely a pro-circumcision. Even though women prefer you to be circumcised, you're still pro-circumcision? Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay, alright. I mean, every time I hear a woman say,

oh, you know, yeah, I've seen both, and the circumcised ones have more personality. I really prefer, I mean, every time I hear a woman say, oh, you know, yeah, I've done I've seen both. And I the circumcised ones have more personality. I really prefer I think, well, you'd fucked me again, mom. You got me walking around with this pleasing cock that women love staring in the face of. I want to I want to slut like a, you know, an elephant trunk. Oh, I hate that thing. It's like it's like sucking on a dark alley. I don't know what's going to come out of that thing.

It's like reaching down into the garbage disposal trying to get that thing out. Disgusting. That's right, bitch. That's the way God made it. I don't know if I agree or disagree. I don't know what point you're making. He's agreeing with me.

Uncircumcised're making. He's agreeing with me. He is agreeing with Kyle. Uncircumcised penises are disgusting. No, he's thanking his mom for the cosmetic surgery. I'm anti-circumcision because women hate it. That's why. That is good enough reason for me. Wait, wait, wait. I'll be sure to repeat. So you're against circumcision because women prefer circumcision.

Because Dick wants to scare the women that show up to have sex with him. If you can't take my penis at its worst, then you don't deserve it at your place. That's my motto. The IQ of the conversation went up, Taylor. It is. When you'relor when you're wrong you're wrong that's the true reason why it's not taylor you need a funnier argument that's all look abraham made a deal with god if you don't respect abraham's deal then that's on you abraham can eat my ass fuck him who cares i saw the place i went to israel i saw the place where uh where he allegedly made that deal and they have it marked the in uh in old jerusalem they have at that place marked with like a print

out that's in a in like a a plastic thing that looks like it looks like something you'd hang at like the office to say, remind you not to flush the toilet and make it down. It's like it's written in Hebrew. Like, this is where Abraham made a deal with God. And it's just like taped to a wall in a courtyard. There's nobody. They're not selling any crosses there or anything. Kind of took a lot of the magic out of it. And you know that they totally guessed. they have no idea where that went out like well they just found a big pile

of foreskins nearby and this has got to be it this is the area what if there was a gift shop for that and they had all sort of foreskin related knickknacks like like keychains with foreskins hanging off of them that's exactly what i was hoping for after you after you finished raping a kid on epstein island you went through the gift shop and that's what you found oh a bunch of little kid parts i think were they actually kids on the island like like i feel like like all the pictures i have seen have been like young women who were far too young don't get me wrong but like not children i never saw any pictures of like eight year olds 12 year old like like an entrapment thing where it's like because there were cameras in every room where people were fucking in that weird-ass temple.

And it's like, oh, you fucked a 16-year-old. You've just been got. Looks like you're agreeing with all the policy I want put forward. This is going to leak. People are going to find out. That's what seems more likely. Did Epstein not think that the cameras would come back to bite himself in the ass?

Maybe he clearly didn't. In 2007, he was so sure of himself getting off that the authorities would let him go that he was like laughing about being caught with stuff like he he thought he was totally invulnerable and when you have dirt on the most powerful people on earth you largely are invulnerable but and i watched some of the netflix documentary on epstein and it's hilarious how they try and hint at like and this lone ranger of pedophilia it's like ah you son of a bitch we know we know he's more connected to powerful organizations than you're letting on you can't just own an island and come up with a billion dollars out of nowhere and then have kids getting molested why isn't any of this footage come up

like either against epstein or against some powerful figure like if there's footage of all these people having sex with children why is all of it so hidden why is none of it used I mean if you're powerful enough to have a rape island with underage kids fucking with like kings and princes and

special agents coming there and presidents you're definitely powerful enough to cover it up when the time comes there was even like there was like aerial photos that showed prior to the raid all the computers that were in certain areas and then as the raid was happening there were other aerial photos that showed through those windows like the computers were gone by that point and we haven't heard anything about what was on those so yeah it's definitely people think that footage that footage exists though you can bet your ass that that's not destroyed. Somebody backed it up before they destroyed it on those computers, and I'm sure it

exists somewhere. I don't know who's holding it now. But what site? There's so many sites! Which ex-girlfriend's site was it? That's the best. Did you see how many episodes of It's Always Sunny that they've removed from streaming services?

One. Am I wrong? No, you're wrong. They removed D-Day, and they removed the Lethal Weapon episodes. Oh, Lethal Weapon is the blackface one, right? Lethal Weapon is blackface. D-Day, there's a part where they're talking about

doing a black voice, and I don't remember which character does an awful black voice, but then Dennis jumps in with a perfect black voice like not even a stereotypical one just like yeah that's a black man and and they remove that that episode as well you can't do impressions now fuck i'm out of luck don't you're definitely don't you guys act like these protests aren't getting shit done yeah it's getting two episodes twice as many as i was aware well you're gonna you're gonna have to like i I prefer the, was it the HBO Max version now where they put basically warnings in front of the content, but then they leave it up?

I don't know why they don't just do that for all this stuff. They just put warnings in front of it and be like, hey, this is kind of racist. I agree. That's the way to go. Yeah. That reminds me of, like, Cinemax. Like, when you're a kid and you're cruising late at night after your parents go to bed and you turn it on and it's like it says like violence you're

like ah bummer you like go to cinemax plus and it's like violence and adult situations you're like oh yeah this is the one crack the mountain news boys we're going we're saying this is the one back when game of thrones would like you know when everyone loved it and it dropped i just get so excited when there were good like six of those deep like you know when everyone loved it and it drop i just get so excited when there were good like six of those deep like you're telling me there's violence yeah adult situations and profanity full house get my root beer boys yep you have a bad language is the one that is is lame on there you can find that everywhere you're right it's a bad it says bad language on it come on that's it says no it says it says Bad language is the one that is lame on there. You can find that everywhere.

It says bad language on it? Come on. It says naughtiness. It says profanity on it. General naughtiness. I don't even like thinking about Game of Thrones anymore. I've totally memory-holed that shit. I don't like thinking about it.

It's so upsetting to think about what happened there. It's like thinking back to your team getting to a World Series or a championship and that they lost. It's like thinking back. Honestly, it's a little bit like thinking about when the Falcons lost to the Patriots like four or five years ago, whenever that was in the Super Bowl, when we were ahead by like three or four touchdowns going into halftime. We were in Colorado for that. I remember Taylor was like, well, Kyle, congratulations. You guys have done it

going into halftime. And I was just like, smoking my gigantic bong. I'm like, no, no, this is the Falcons. And that's fucking Tom Brady. I remember before the game was even over kyle you were like they weren't even in the lead it was like 21 to 28 and you're like taylor chis let's just play magic it's over yeah you could see the writing on the wall it was like it was like that's fucking tom brady all right he's got maybe two years left in the in the nf in nh um nfl in the nfl he's gonna do this it's what he fucking does and he's only down by eight he's that's only two two scores he was gonna do it like we couldn't

stop him you knew we were gonna choke well i mean especially the falcons defense i think back then wasn't the greatest so it wasn't the worst either we were in the super bowl for a reason it was just like i you know and the the offense was great they didn't score i don't even think they scored again maybe a field goal or something it was embarrassing it was it was real upsetting but nothing tops game of thrones as far as like disappointments um from a uh an entertainment property like the matrix comes kind of close like but but i wasn't nearly as invested because those are movies you know it's six or six or seven hours total for the whole trilogy but you watch the first one you're like oh my god there's so much going on here and then the second one was bad and the third one was awful but with game of thrones what was that seven years

of our lives or something that we were just obsessed with that show and like it was a weekly topic when game of thrones was out like like we'd we'd come in here and we'd be like boys that episode john snow's back john snow's back he's gonna be doing big things can you believe he's got the sword now like like we're we love that shit we do all these we have these crazy conspiracy theories about like what the white walkers were about and where they were headed and what they were gonna do and and Ice Dragons and you guys are going to hate hate hate my take you're going to hate it

but I loved it I ate that shit up the end of the series? I really did, I loved the end of the series and I'll tell you why, because the first five to six seasons of the show were very very slow, they were good episodes of television, the show were very very slow they were good episodes of television but they were very very slow that's true if you go back and watch each season there's

only about there's two to three episodes where things actually develop uh pretty fast i used to everything else i liked that about it and i think i really enjoyed the slow burn i feel like i'm really invested more in the world it's what made the last two seasons so awful is because it was like time was moving like a week at a time per episode forever it was like every episode a week later this happened and then all of a sudden it was like all right so six months have passed since the last time we saw you like whoa shit all right two more months have passed it was everything was like fast forward they were just trying to get out of that contract as fast as they fucking could so they could go make Star Wars.

That's not true, by the way. They backed out of Star Wars. No, they got fired from Star Wars. No, they backed out. Who backs out of Star Wars? I'm telling you they did. And actually, a number of people backed out of Star Wars

because Star Wars is a fucking train wreck. Did they back out of Star Wars before or after Game of Thrones? Because I thought it was after. It was after Game of Thrones. But that's not the same, right? Because it doesn't invalidate the point if you say also they had that contract uh five years before the show ended i did all the research on this i did all the research on this because because people use no that proves piles kyle's point that proves kyle's

point i'll explain why you know they would have gotten out of it way earlier here's the scoop they wanted to get out of game of thrones so they could do it and then it wasn't until they got out of game of thrones that they didn't do it right so if they had got out of star wars before the show was over then you'd be right but because they got out of star wars after the show was over that kind of proves that they were kind of trying to get out of the show to do Star Wars. It wasn't until after the show that they did that. If that were true, though, then they would have sped up their time getting out, and they didn't.

They did speed up their time getting out. They absolutely wrapped up. HBO was like, take several more seasons, and they're like, no, no, no, we're going to get out immediately and go do Star Wars. That's not what they said. That's the only thing I remember about it, and maybe Bruce, you can correct me.

That's what pissed me off. I remember seeing the interview of HBO saying, yeah, we offered them additional episodes, more time to really flesh the story out, and D.B. Weiss and whoever the other guy is apparently were like, no, we can wrap it up in eight episodes this season or whatever it was. And it was like,

what the fuck? We really could have seen more. This is totally true. That's the interview that I read about how HBO was like, do more. And they're like, we don't want to do more. That's reason enough to say fuck them, in my opinion. Yeah. It's interesting, you guys. What's interesting, too, is that people turn on them so fast.

And they wrote, what is it, 10 seasons of show? No. They didn't write any of it. They wrote all of it since the very beginning. It's my impression that once they stopped adapting from a book, it got bad. When they started doing their own

material in seasons like 6, 7, and 8, it got bad. I did the research on this. George R. R. Martin told them how it was going to end. I know, but they didn't have a i i did the research on this um that's george rr martin told them how it's going to end he told them how the whole but they didn't have a book to base the show on anymore they still stayed they stayed clear to his vision though and it was kind of one of those things we're like right but you keep saying we're wrong about things we didn't say like so what happened was when there was a book to base the shows off of they did a great idea

they did a great job and then once they ran out of book and had to just go off and outline at best they did a poor job uh i mean do you so you're saying the last three seasons yes we're bad yeah i don't i don't agree i think it was a real downward spiral starting uh around season half second half of season five i would say oh wow it started getting worse and worse that it really went off the rails six got awful with the sand snakes and everything and then seven was just an abomination was that the sand snake one where it was just like who are these characters and why are they taking up time on the screen your guys just takes your takes are different from everybody so some people some people said it went downhill last season some people said it went down until the

second seat second last season i've never heard season five, but okay. I mean, again, this is kind of one of those things that they were writing the show from the very beginning. Now, yes, you're right. They didn't have a book to adapt, but they made a lot of good television. And also, by the way, just so you know, it was a huge success,

the biggest success HBO's ever seen the very last season. I know. Oh, we watched it. Yeah watched it yeah yeah no i feel like you can't grade its success yet because you know like heck the pandemic came and we all watched the wire and the sopranos and stuff like that zero people on earth are re-watching game of thrones that show has no appeal people hate it season eight Season eight and seven, I'd argue, were so bad, the first six seasons got worse. That slow burn to wait for what the White Walkers brought, that the thing we were all so invested in, these big wars, what Jamie was going to do.

It sucks now that you know. Now, it sucks. The whole White Walker thing, how they were going to possibly deal with that situation. It's gone. It's gone. Things we thought were good were made bad once we learned how it ends. I hear you. What you're saying is all subjective.

Yeah, it is. It's all just our takes on it. It's all opinion. Because I love it. I think it went down in episode one. I didn't watch any of that show because it sucks. The whole thing is stupid. What are you, medieval times?

You're in zombies in space? Fucking choose one or the other. You got sandworms now? What is this, Beetlejuice? Fuck you. I'm going to watch the news like a man. I'm going to watch Jim Cramer's Mad Money like a man. You girls can go watch your dumb dragon show

and your hot bitch that won't take her clothes off fuck hbo and fuck you all right all right just hold on this whole shit about women not taking their clothes off proves you didn't watch the show right i didn't because there's some naked bitches in this show for sure i watched two seconds of that show and i saw two guys cocks on the screen at one time i said oh great this thanks uh thanks my sister showed it to me thanks a lot because they were uncircumcised or because they were cocks they were very circumcised so what the hell is this shit if you're gonna show me some cocks make them huge don't show me this little this little average size flaccid cock shit give me a big dong back there so I can say, whoa, what was that?

Did that thing have a license plate? Wow. I agree, Dick. I completely agree. I want to see the biggest dicks in the world on television. Just walk around with absurd prosthetics on for dicks and joints. And then I'll just start shouting, that will hurt you. That would hurt you.

A lot of women say eight inches is too big. If you're getting any kind of ideas, they say it hurts, you can't even get the whole thing inside. Is it just me or is it weird that all these characters are black? Funny casting choices. What do you mean? That's where you find Big Dick's dick.

Canceled! Search for Big Dick on Pornhub and tell me if you notice any patterns i i can't say his wife is like all right enough of that close i didn't even see that his wife comes right on that key as of now like i don't even rank game of Yeah, his wife comes right on that cue. As of now, I don't even rank Game of Thrones in one of my favorite shows ever.

Not even close. And if you would have asked me that season four, season five, halfway through, I would have been like, oh, this is one of the tippity top. But I didn't even watch Sopranos for the first time until this quarantine. And now, after having torn through all that,

that shit blows Game of Thrones out of the water as a series. It's got a good ending, it's got better characters, it's got better acting in a lot of ways. It's just fucking better. And it's coherent. A lot of people hated the end of The Sopranos too, but I didn't really get that. Maybe it's because I knew what it was

going in, but it seemed fantastic to me. It was clearly an allusion to the fact that Tony's dead. This is where he's getting Nick. Taylor, I completely agree with you, by the way. I never thought the Game of Thrones was my favorite television. I was never like, oh my gosh, this is greater than

The Sopranos or The Wire. I thought it was a good show, but like I said early on, it was painfully slow. I thought it was literally the best show ever made for four or five years. thought it was literally the best show ever made for four or five years. Yeah. Maybe not the best show ever made.

I'm such a big fan of The Wire. But there were times when it got me so excited and ready for the next episode. There were times where it finally – there was so much buildup before a payoff. Years would go by with Ramsey torturing and raping. And then when he finally gets his comeuppance, you're just like, that was awesome. That was so awesome.

You know, there, there were lots of moments like that where people got their comeuppance. And I really liked that, you know, that when they cut Jamie's hand off, it's like, Oh,

Oh no. And we were all like, he's going to get really good with his left. No! Because there may be dragons, but this is a complete fantasy. The man's no good with his left. It's real life, yeah. Again, I like the show, but it

wasn't, I saw the last two seasons, two and a half, to be the payoff to the first five. Because the first five seasons are, again, painfully back and watch them i really honestly that there are eight episodes per season that are pretty much straight dialogue and slow dialogue good dialogue but very slow yeah there's something to be said for that i do remember sometimes i would complain even when it was new and i loved it like man I could tell you what happened in this game of thrones in 90 seconds and if I could summarize an hour-long show in 90 seconds not

a lot happened yeah no and so just to be clear I didn't ever think this was like my favorite television I'm not going to defend it till the fucking end or whatever it was just more of I have the I have the opposite take from everybody else and I I know i i expect to get jumped on i expect to get jumped but that's because you're a-okay we're we're all the time i wanted to ask though because i i don't follow it closely but i do follow dick on twitter and i see lots of hot takes on covid like i want to i want to get your your catch up on the virus everything because i really i enjoy it i enjoy how much time do you have uh four hours is this gonna be as heated as the circumcision debate i hope are there a lot of are there a lot of grandma lovers in here simping for grandma that wanted to shut the economy down in the first place real quick quick, before Dick goes, Taylor, are you on Wi-Fi or something?

Your camera and audio. Hardware. Okay, okay. I'm on my desktop. Okay. Simping for grandma. Tell me more, Dick. Simping for grandma.

We can't risk it. When it first started, so I had a live show planned, like 300 tickets sold. I had an illegal liquor salesman all set up for a show downtown la you know epsons island is that is that what you're doing you know what's fucked it's all of like like everything else in my life it goes back to fucking maddox um i had this so i

was i had a live show planned in la in like march i think where we were gonna have a funeral for maddox i was i had was going to have a big coffin and everybody would come up and put like books of his and everyone would come up and read a eulogy and really like a shitty eulogy, right? And then we'd have a roast. What? Like a roast.

Yeah, a roast of a dead man. Someone whose career was dead because the character is dead, right? But Maddox, so the venue called me one day and said, your event's canceled. We found out it wasn't a comedy event at all. We found that it was a hate speech conference.

I said, what are you talking about? A hate speech? What's a hate speech conference? Like, you think I'm having Richard Spencer and David Duke and all? I'm Mexican. First of all, you idiot. Go look at this contract we just signed.

It's not a white name. So a series of prank callers called the venue to complain. Like I said this on the show and their Yelp gets bombed, which was. Yeah, which is awesome. A bunch of a bunch of prank callers hit them up and eventually one of them tricked the venue into admitting he pretended to be the city ump troller steve dan or something like that that was his entire name only a first name he had no last name uh steve dan and he got them to tell tell them that matt a guy named maddox had called the venue and emailed them over and over until they

pulled my show. Um, I forget. Oh yeah. COVID though. Uh, so I had to, I had to move it at the last minute to this warehouse downtown that had no liquor license. And I said, Oh yeah, don't even, don't even try to get one. Cause then they'll have to come in and, and review the code of this place. And it's not up to code either so uh oh it's a real death trap yeah it's a real death trap so don't even try to get a liquor license they already know that you shouldn't be having an event here there's one exit and it doesn't work well if i'm going to jail i guess i should go big uh so i set that up and like the a couple got a week before everybody had their flights and

everything all canceled the sunday before newsome locked everything down but up until that i was like wow i don't know this seems pretty serious maybe we should start washing our hands more and not like eat out of the out of the salad bar at soup plantation or whatever people do. Maybe we should do that. But then, then they shut it down. I said, okay, this is a, just a, this is a blatant violation of,

of how many amendments first, the fourth, fifth, how many amendments are they just shutting? Surely people aren't going to get on board with this. And then it's been three months of me growing into like a, growing into a more curtsy and a heart of darkness state where every day I wake up with more

loathing of my fellow man for the amount of additional restrictions that I have to go through every day being told preemptively that I'm responsible for the murder of my fellow the tacit murder of my fellow citizens because I'm not protecting them enough from the

invisible enemy that's all around us. I think that I think that China hoaxed their own country into getting rid of a bunch of political dissonance. I think the virus is real, but I think it's similar to a flu. I think that the U.S. everybody's terrified in the U.S. I think that the journalists and the people have been preparing for a war with Trump in some way that just hasn't happened in the last four years and got the the the functionally retarded Joe Biden as their candidate are all just and the people who don't want to work in America are all doubling, tripling, quadrupling down on the idea that this virus is dangerous to anybody who's under 79 which is the average the average life expectancy of people in america just to purposefully fuck over people like me who actually want to work like this is this entire thing this entire ridiculous mess is a civil war from bums who sit on the couch and blue check marks and bums who sit on their couches and tweet all fucking day.

And people like me who just want to go to fucking work without getting bitched at. I have not seen. And then, of course, the studies roll in every lab. Oh, how many how many tests did you have? Oh, 100 percent. We had 100 percent positive test rate. Really want to check on that? Just checked.

It actually was nine percent. That's our bad. How many of you are there? A couple hundred. A couple hundred. I don't know. And the hospitals, what did this guy die of? COVID.

Oh, he's 85, and he's fat as a house. He's fat as a couch, too. Does that have anything to do with it? Hey, man, you've got the governor of New York who's cramming old people into nursing homes like he's a frat boy. Like he's a college freshman trying to stuff a telephone booth and you're telling, and children have to go to school.

My girlfriend went from being gone 12 hours a day as a teacher to being home. 27 hours a day. We are forced to live together for the first. I am now properly living with a woman for three months. And this is what it's done to me. So you're telling me that I am a danger to society because I won't wear a mask? I have news for you.

I am a danger either way now. This lockdown has poisoned my mind irrevocably. I can feel it like mercury creeping up the back of my spine every day and trying to chew out the back of my skull. It's driving me insane. It is a fucking hoax, and I will defend that till the day I die. Is that what you meant, Taylor? Yeah, that was such a good thing. I believe everything you said now.

I'm so... That was good. What do you all think? You know, you really... The whole, she used to be gone 12 hours a day and now she's not. I can't imagine how difficult that's been for you. I'm just trying to add more rooms

onto the house and then I'm going to cut one off. I feel like that's... She's a teacher, right? And you're claiming she works 12 hours a day? I'm just trying to add more rooms onto the house and then I'm going to cut one off. So we have two different houses. She's a teacher, right? And you're claiming she works 12 hours a day? She was gone 12 hours a day. Myth busted, Dick. Teachers don't work 12 hours a day. Well, teachers don't work any hours a day.

Teachers work like four hours a day, top step, Dick. Oh my gosh. She would leave in the morning. She's got an hour drive to work. She's got an hour Pilates. She likes to work out before work. And then She's got an hour drive to work. She's got an hour Pilates. She likes to work out before work. And then she's got an hour drive home. It was about, I mean, I don't know.

She'd get home at like four every day. Isn't this one of the five months a year they don't work at all? Yes. Oh, yeah. Now, but that's been going on since March. And they're talking about not starting it up again. And I'm ready to blow my goddamn brains out i'm gonna go to school nobody's going to school i'm gonna go fuck i'm gonna get a

sleeping bag i'm living at school now i'm gonna be teaching a class to all the other members of no ma'am so it's not even an american thing though right like every epidemiologist and virologist on the planet seems to agree that we're having some sort of pandemic you think that they're all involved in this hoax i think that no no the hoax is that so there's a there's a couple things that i think are the hoax um the lockdown masks um masks are a hoax mask are a hoax and they've been back and forth on like at first they said they don't do shit um no you know why they said that though right they said that because they were trying to make sure that people in health care had masks before we did yeah well that's the funny thing about lying if you if you just say if you just

say flat out don't buy them because we need them for doctors that's i believe you if you say they don't work and we need them for doctors i'm like all right yeah you don't get to take back both you can take back the one no you're right statement from the world health organization was don't buy masks it won't help well because the take the who did a study um they released it last year where they found that in an influenza pandemic washing your hands masks and cleaning surfaces don't do shit. Like, mechanically, they will break down a virus, but in practice,

the meta-analysis was they don't do shit. I mean, it's, uh, that's not, that's not even what drives me insane about it, though. It's the, um,

it's everybody's, like, armchair science take on why you're the devil if you don't do it. Didn't you just do that? I was like, you're throwing armchair scientists. You just explained to me that mass

and soap and something else. I don't even know what else. You can go read the WHO report. I'm reading what they put out. I don't know. They said in the report. It doesn't hurt anything, so we still recommend it, but we don't have any science that says it works.

I think that it is killing some old people, and I think that I've seen some reports where it really fucked up the lungs of some people. I also saw where the NFL had like 75 players that tested positive this week. I'm going to keep washing my hands wearing my mask i think uh when i go out go for it yeah yeah um but i think that i i think that they should send the kids back but make them wear masks and if the kid won't wear a mask you send him home to his parents and then the parents beat the shit out of the kid and put a mask on him and i also think that if this virus was just a little bit more deadly then this could kill all the stupid people like like this could be a great thing wait according to that theory we're losing dick

i thought i thought it was a gift from god at first if you recall the virus this is awesome it wipes out everybody over 60 and people who are dumb, too dumb to wash their hands. Thank you, God. I've been praying my whole life for this, something like this. And then what do you know, the government shut that beautiful virus down. So the testing really pisses me off, too, because we went from we went from being as a society, we went from 15 days to stop the spread like we got to flatten the curve to, well, let's just keep everything locked down until it magically goes away, which never happens. Like there's a flu season every year. You can you can try to not get it yourself, but you can't stop a fucking virus.

If you could stop a virus, they wouldn't exist. That's like their whole thing is that they can just kind of creep you think a wall doesn't work but you think you think a mask will okay you got you got it that is a cogent comparison yes that is a salient observation i i i mean walls and masks apples and apples the comparison right there and i will say illegal immigrants are a lot bigger than the.3 microns, right? Oh, you hush. Some of them are small. I haven't seen these guys.

They're smaller than Americans, typically. Typically. Are you in Los Angeles, Dick? Yeah, I am. Can you tell? No, I am too. I am too. I definitely hear the frustration in your voice because I had this frustration I am too. And, uh, I could, I, I definitely hear the frustration in your voice.

Cause I, I had this frustration. I, I, I had this frustration for the first month and a half to two months here. Cause Los Angeles, like Los Angeles is exactly the opposite of the way it should be. Cause you,

you come to the city because there it's, it's busy. There's anything you can do. There's the beaches, there's the mountains, there's people everywhere. There's movies, you know,

movie theaters, whatever restaurants. And it's's it's now the shittiest place in the world like it's like it's the worst city to be in i'm from los angeles i was born and raised here and it is no longer a place that you want to be anymore and it sucks it sucks and so i i hear that frustration in your voice very very much why don't you want to be there anymore because it there's nothing to do. There's nothing to take in the entire value of being in the city. What you're doing is you're paying, you're paying shit loads of money and you're honestly at this point now I'm

fighting traffic cause there are people driving around, but you can't do anything. There's literally like you, you move to the city to do things, right? You move to the city to, for the food and for the people and for the bars and for the movie theaters and for the surrounding areas and all that.

None of it. It's all gone. It was on the 4th of July. I was driving to Santa Barbara on the 4th of July because I was like, I really want to go to the beach, right? For one fucking day. And all the signs along the freeway, all beaches closed.

All beaches closed. And I couldn't, I was like, are you fucking kidding? They're closing like thousands and thousands and thousands of square feet of beach. Where I can stand outside away from so many people. Because they don't, because they're afraid that I guess people are going to stand all right next to each other on the beach. I don't know. It was just, it blew my mind. And it made me very, very sad. Very sad very sad chicks don't want to go out they love this

they love sitting at home and posting on instagram and they don't want to have to go on dates again so they're going to keep it locked down indefinitely yeah no it's it's i i think quarantine life agrees with me mostly you know every so often i get out and i really really like it but inside's okay too i started quarantining about four weeks before the pandemic oh wow so like in february about that yeah that's when i discovered tarkov escape from tarkov i was buying food in january like as soon as things started looking a little bit rough. I was stockpiling. Yeah.

I've been locked down for a while. Man, I hate it. I can't stand it. Oh, this is not best. Working from home, my quality of life has never been higher. It's awesome. I have a home gym with my barbell and all my plates and everything. The amount of free time you have is unbelievable.

It's fantastic. I don't ever want to go back. I have the home gym. I've had it for years. I've been working from home. I converted to work from home back in September. But I'm still, it is still driving me insane. It's like, I just, it's weird.

I know everybody's taking it differently so i can hear i can hear it in dick's voice and that's why i'm like i i can sympathize with that with that feeling because i know how it feels i like your references to like dick i can tell you're frustrated is it i mean that de-escalation doesn't work on me, FYI. I took re-escalation classes. I'm not trying to de-escalate you at all. I was just kidding. What I interpret that as is this like, you know what? I'm a good judge of body language, and I'm getting a subtle vibe of frustration.

The thing is, I don't agree with all of everything that Dick has said, but also at the same time, it fucking sucks. Not even I do. I don't agree with anything that Dick said. You're getting very upset. If you test more, there's going to be more positive results, right? You're going to have more sick people if you test more. Can we agree with that? Can we agree on that?

No, I was with you until you said more sick people. You'll have more positive tests, have more sick people if you test more. Can we agree with that? Can we agree on that? No, I was with you until you said more sick people. You'll have more positive tests, not more sick people. Yeah, but that's not what I meant. Infected people. You'll find more infected people the more people you test. And what's made me think we actually are kind of over the curve with all this stuff is the death totals are, in a lot of days, like a tenth of where they were. There were times where they were there were times where we were having like two or three thousand people die a day a couple months ago now there's

days where it's like 350 even though it's like those days where 3 000 people died there'd be like 30 000 positive cases whereas today there might be one the highest day was 62 000 blowing up florida's blowing up right now they're about to fucking but their deaths aren't going so their deaths are going up that's what they've been saying about the middle east for 18 years their deaths are already on the uptick um but taylor does have a point in that the deaths aren't as bad as they used to be the mortality rate is dropping and it's because they're treating it better they used to think ventilators were the bomb. Now they're like, ah, ventilators tend to kill people. The bomb is steroids, and I guess it's important that you flip them around, spend some time on your belly, spend some time on your back, et cetera. I don't know why that matters, but it seems to help based on what I saw.

But yeah, so the treatments are improving, but that doesn't mean that... I guess it means the disease is less deadly if they know how to treat it better yeah you can see the cases I just linked you guys you can see the cases exploding in Florida and you can see that the death line is pretty linear it's uh I don't I don't put much stock in the counting ability of a Floridian you're a Georgian so you have an inherent they're right next door. They're going to spill over into my state, and it's going to be fucking pandemonium. Yeah, because Atlanta's been doing tremendous on their own. Because the

governor won't let us wear masks. Literally, this is a linear, Taylor. The orange line? Yeah. Well, that orange line is misleading. It's the total. But go to the Daily Deaths. They just opened fucking Disney World. It's going to get so much worse. I think there's going to be more cases

and more deaths because they're opening more things up. Yeah, you're right, Rudy. You're right. My bad on that one. Woody, but most of these were bad people. True. True. Yes. I mean, why else would God kill them? Yeah. I like that take. Why else would God kill them? Yeah. I like that take.

Why else would God kill them? Hold on. Now the door opens. You can't talk about God. That was my first take. Give me those fucking houses, Grandma. God's come for you. The black hole sun's come to take you away.

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Maybe even harder than that. You're going to need that foreskin back. It's going to blow right through. It's going to bust it. Maybe you don't want to try Blue Chew if you're not cut. Alright? Because that foreskin back. It's going to blow right through. Yeah. Maybe you don't want to try Blue Chew if you're not cut, all right? Because that foreskin might just explode off like a tire that's been overinflated.

Another hilarious joke from my co-host. Go to bluechew.com whether you're circumcised or not and check the product out. While Woody's still gone, I'll knock out our other good buddy, a brand new one, brand new one, boys. HelloTushy.com

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Stop living with a dirty butthole by heading over to hello to she.com slash PKA. I received this a few days ago hooked it up yesterday had my first shit on it this morning this is this is pretty fucking good man i'm a big fan better than normal poops i got mine a couple days ago hooked it up and uh yeah i'm definitely a fan takes a second or two to figure out your comfort level you know and and get your get it aimed up at your asshole but you know if you have a pretty standardized sitting stance and you're not moving all over the place while you're shitting,

it'll be an easy little adjustment. So get yourself a clean butthole. You can use it as a water fountain too. I don't recommend that. You shouldn't do that. I've been using this bidet for about six months. And it's awesome. It is so, so great.

It's life-changing for me. It was a huge, huge deal. So I love it. I absolutely love it. Big endorsement from Bruce for Tushy. Totally recommend it. Get yourself a nice Tushy. HelloTushy.com slash PKA. Yeah. I'm a big fan. I'm glad I have it.

Woody has had a bidet for years, but maybe we'll ask him later if he's gotten his hooked up so he can compare his crazy expensive one with the Hello Tushy, which is much more affordable, especially when you use our little coupon code there. Link in the description. Make it happen. Yeah, and I imagine it's like, why

get an expensive one if it's doing the same thing? It's cleaning your butt. Yeah. That's what you want. You want a nice, clean ass, so I'm sure Woody will affirm that I don't even wipe anymore I just do the stream and I just say fuck it

stand up, put my underpants on, put my jeans on I let the Uber worry about it that's a problem for Mahmood in the driver's seat I got a feeling Mahmood is used to that sort of thing it'll be okay you got a mask man stop complaining oh there have been days where like i'll put my mask on if i have to like go into like st louis where i live just re-implemented like if you go into a public place you have to wear a mask now

and so they're getting like even employees will be like go into a public place you have to wear a mask now and so they're getting like even employees will be like douchey and be like you gotta wear a mask like it's like dude I just fucking forgot like give me a break but like I have definitely worn it before I brushed my teeth for the day like going out to get something and that is

rancid it is it's really eye-opening it's like oh my god I need I should use my fucking smart mount this morning because I like you're almost like grossing yourself out It's really eye-opening. It's like, oh my god. I should use my fucking smart mount this morning because you're almost grossing yourself out. Maybe you guys have done that. Oh yeah. I started chewing gum as soon as I started wearing a mask.

It's like, we're going to have to add some Mentos to our daily ritual. This is not going to work. I put the mask on and I was like, oh! Oh no! It adds a little perspective because then you get to find out

what other people smell when you're near them. And it's horrible. And you realize you need to brush your teeth and floss probably more. Woody looks a little flustered. What just went on Woody? Nothing. Everything's fine. Everything all good? Good day.

You're a little out of breath over there, buddy. You got a guilty look on your face? Looks like he's pulling a Dr. Disrespect. I think Woody's going to have to... Hold on. I'll be right back. Lost my glasses. One minute. Little flustered, wasn't he? Are we being set up for a bit here?

I don't think we're being set up. I think something happened. Woody had to leave. He lost his glasses while he was gone. And he came back all flustered. And when I called him on it, he got real guilty. He's terrible at lying. So he was just like, no.

What do you think it is? What's your hypothesis? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know. I don't think he's going to tell us either. It's probably just let it go.

Might be something serious. You never know. Yeah, hope not. But especially in the middle of episode 500 oh he's announcing the woody show in the middle of 500 I was talking to my wife about how dick is killing

it like he did this rant I was like I feel like he's funnier than the hosts and she's like no search for big dicks on Pornhub that's A-list stuff baby you got hi e jackie hi e jackie i like it i was showing my girlfriend the fifth element and how all those uh those hanger-ons kind of uh around Ruby Rod after his broadcast.

Like, oh, oh, oh. And I was like, honey, that's like after my show every week, that's what I would like, that kind of treatment. They're just fainting around him, all the like space line attendants and everything. No, his entourage who are just blowing smoke up his ass. Oh, that was an unbelievable, unbelievable show. Amazing show.

He was really uncomfortable with the wardrobe that they made him wear. He did not like that at all. Really? Yeah. He thought it was way too gay. But he tried to play that character like it was a mixture between Michael Jackson and Prince.

That's what he was going for wow nailed it yeah yeah absolutely i love that movie that's a good movie i like mila jovovich in that movie she's fucking hot wait with the bandages oh yeah the fifth element bruce willis no i'm mixing she's resident evil you said it right no you said milia and i pictured who's the super hot one i've ever like the most beautiful woman on earth okay i can say that's funny because i was going through her last name is maybe polish like rod kowski or something kyle knows oh because he's oh the one who can't act for shit and just dances naked emily rachowski emily emily radakowski is that what it

is kyle's good at that i'll probably just lean towards what he says but uh yeah that woman to me is like the best on the planet right now for the last couple years like it's she's got a nice any vagina nice a nice simp how do you know what her vagina looks like because I've seen it are we talking about the same person yeah you want me to send you some pictures of her pussy you need to do your research I don't want any pictures from Kyle at all

about pussies I'll look at them you guys can have them Kyle please don't put them in the discord I don't think you guys are talking about the same. I think she's a supermodel. That's why I'm confused. Yeah, she's done some full nude stuff.

Before I send you her pussy, we can play some bad if you want. I mean, maybe she has. Who knows? She definitely has. Kyle's pornography knowledge is encyclopedic. I would not question that. I'm not doubting him at all. You can say the most obscure

rule 34 thing and Kyle has something in the chamber oh there's a subreddit for that yeah yeah rule 34 that's weird porn I don't care for that oh I was doing my Kyle thing you said you can name this obscure thing

and Kyle will propose a subreddit where you'll find more of it. Oh, Thumb and Pooper. Sure, that's a winner. Is that a real one? Yes. Christ. Every day we stray further from God's light. Oh, man.

Jesus Christ. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. You know, I'm feeling judged. Look at Kyle. Kyle's hacking right now. He's hacking. Kyle's like the dude from Swordfish, but he finds the word.

Yeah, but he's not in the monitors everywhere. He's just hacking. I think Swordfish is like 2001 could be oh fappening stuff there you know that's yeah no no it's not a leak it just happens to be on a website called that i've got lots of these i'm disappointed that discord hasn't expanded it for me oh hang on i got a better one okay alright I believe you all the mystery all the mystery

totally removed all her power has been totally negated to me oh my goodness I didn't doubt at all he says he's got it I mean I had seen it before but never a close upup like this yeah is there a cock coming out of her belly button what the hell is that don't worry about that belly

button so many large hd photos of her vagina i know they were able to magnify by like a thousand percent and still have high quality i'm gonna pick guado from total recall is coming out of her stomach i think i like that reference if you don't know guado from total recall it's so good it's this conjoined mutant twin on this martian fuck of a cab driver or some shit and he just comes out quade quade he's so fucked jimmy that would go around and it would be like a woman that looks like this and it would be there's like four chain means we're like point and be like disgusting belly button weak arms two out of ten like yeah who's wait a minute from megan fox i think is her name from um transformers do i have her name right yeah kyle even knows where i'm going her thumbs are too square on the ends they are they're gross they are too square but it's so they're fucking gross

i mean look i'll eat her thumb off her hand raw if I can fuck her, but she's got some gross thumbs. Are they really? No, they're not. Have you guys ever seen those in real life? Those thumbs? No, other people's thumbs that are like that, because a lot of people have those.

No, mine do weird stuff. They do. They're not as shapened. I knew a girl that had those thumbs, and they were whatever. Whatever. Who cares? Yeah, I got some weird stuff going on myself oh my gosh yeah if you got if you if you draw homer simpson's eyes on emily radijowski's thigh doesn't her pussy kind of look like his mouth with that's why it's called a sim oh is it yeah simpson's reference i didn't know that it's called a clubbed thumb and it's hereditary. Yeah.

Yeah, clearly bad genes, Megan Fox. Sneaks past the goalie. Everything else kind of worked out, right? I would say. I hope I didn't bring us to a halt with this vagina that's just staring at us now. It's literally just staring at me. The first two links I sent are just URLs, but the third one opens up in Discord and it literally just staring at like the first two links i sent are like are just are just

urls but the third one opens up in discord and it's just pussy it looks like an alien it looks like it's just like it's like i've never seen it anything like this before like somebody actually just cut her do you often have gay thoughts there's some uncanny it does it looks fucking weird you're like oh look at this vagina it's the worst am i right i'm just telling you it looks fucking weird i find this thing to be a turnoff personally i didn't say that i didn't say that that looks weird it's that there is some kind of like photoshop smoothing skin effect happening that's like giving me an uncanny valley vibe there's something off it doesn't look it doesn't look real it does not look real don't you tell me santa claus isn't real this woman is the hottest thing there is all right all right yeah i'm a big fan

myself i'm a big fan myself um she's got like zero personality though and taylor's bumping the fuck thank you taylor thank you very much yeah yeah just leave the pussy at the top though just like that perfect i know all you're gonna center it in my vision he's so mad there you go oh it took it out of my vision oh i have a vertical monitor over here i still see it fine you still see it i just put it right in eyes level for you you should get a vertical monitor because when you look at your twitch chat on it, you see like minutes of it. I should. Like I was I was stupid when I bought these monitors. I have like my gaming monitor over here, this Asus, whatever the fuck that I think is like 27 inches.

And then I bought this other one. That's like a 23 inch monitor. And it doesn't turn vertically. Can you just get an arm? I purchased it. Yeah, I do need to buy an arm. That's all that it is. It's just I haven't done it.

Well, maybe instead of buying you 50 gallons of fucking dishwashing liquids, somebody will buy you an arm. It's four gallons. Look behind Taylor right now. You see those little blue bottles right below the Lord of the Rings poster? That's all dishwashing liquid that people have bought him.

$80 worth of dishwashing. Taylor, tell the story because like we were watching 60 days in on my twitch chat and making fun of the retards who go on that show and we kept getting served dawn ads and oh fuck oh we got Mr. Kumia can we can you hear us

working on it. He's got himself muted. He's deft. He's got the other one. He's deafened. Yeah. Fucking back-ally Tunisian knife fighter. Can't figure out how to fucking set up the audio.

Fuck. But anyway, yeah, the Don Dish stuff thing was a meme. We got served a bunch of ads on that on my stream, and we started only standing Don, and that's the only ad we would watch. Ah, got it. And I told people, like, hey, I'll buy whatever you want me to on Amazon if you donate that amount of money. And someone donated $80 for me to buy four gallons of Don Dish stuff. This is on the heels of someone donated $32 for me to buy four gallons of Dawn dish. This is on the heels of someone donated $32 for me to buy an authentic beeswax

covered Australian didgeridoo, which I'm getting better at playing. I'll go grab that didgeridoo at some point on this show and show you guys my chops. That's nice. Yeah, it's pretty cool. My dogs hate it,

which makes it funnier. They really dislike the didgeridoo. Taylor, can you help me out? Would you take the six-person layout from the other chat and put it in this chat so that I can open it and work shit for a bit? Do you guys want me to? I can duck out

and Anthony can replace me. Want to do that? What do you think? I'm flexible. I could go either way. It's your guys' call. I could stay for as long as you want or or uh or bail out well that's a lot of pressure to put on me quite frankly i mean you guys are the producers of the show woody how about this i'll duck out i'll let anthony take over how about this? I'll duck out. I'll let Anthony take over. How about that? Okay.

Yeah, six might be a lot. Oh, yeah. I want to make sure. Guys, Bruce, thank you so much for coming on and being patient with the audio issues, man. We're really trying to get everything fucking on point, and we appreciate you sticking around. I was just going to say,

I really appreciate you guys asking back on again for number five. It's an absolute pleasure to talk to all of you and it's incredibly great to meet Dick as well. Good to meet you too, man. Thank you so much. I'll try to fire you up about COVID next time. I'll try to get you in. Send me your newsletter, Dick.

Yeah. It's got a dot truth in it, so it might go to your spam folder. It's got two dot truth in it so it might go to your spam folder it's got it's got two dot truths actually please tell tell kyle uh goodbye as well thanks to you guys thank you so much and you can check out bruce green on twitch you know he seems to be doing that a lot over there so shout out to him still waiting for anth Anthony to get his stuff up and running. Taylor, would you take the other five person layout and paste it over? Sure.

Yeah. I meant to do that in advance, but. No problem, man. Here it is. So. Yeah. And thank you, Dick, for always being a fucking ace in the hole we can call on for quality ass content just oh man i love being here i'm happy to be part of this 500 slash

400 slash 200 or whatever episode it is for all of you guys although i feel like we just we just celebrated your 10 year yes starting to feel like a chick's birthday lasting all year 10 year like 485 or something because of missed episodes early on in the show something like yeah yeah i don't understand how that could have been 10 years like because 520 should be 10 years right we're not even just there were a lot of missed shows in the early time. Were there shows that we just didn't do? I guess. I didn't join until 188.

I'd only been on, or actually I think before that I'd been a guest like 17 times. Yeah, that was fun. Bruce said goodbye, Kyle. He popped out. Woody is resetting the thing, and Anthony is pensively trying to figure out how to get Discord

to work. Puts the glasses on, takes the glasses off. You gonna give a play-by-play on him now? I kinda like it. I play on Anthony Cumia. Sitting here in his basement of his compound. And so I'm thinking that we'll catch up with

Anthony for a bit and then I really want to do my fucking conspiracy theories. Yeah, same. I know. I'm there with you. I've been all show long. I've been waiting. I hope I nail it. Yeah. You guys want to, as a little teaser, you guys want to read the titles of your conspiracy theories?

If you guys have titles. Yes. Go ahead. What's your your first one my first one was einstein fraudulent plagiarist and my second one is helen keller secret retard all right hitler last laughed the last laugh i... I'm titillated. The premise of one is that colonoscopies are a nonsense procedure performed by doctors into butt stuff. And the premise of the other is that the entire

PKA group is on steroids. Oh, shit. That's a good one. I worked all day on it. They just comfort our secret. How does he stay so fast? There's some supporting evidence on both of them. I had a good time with it.

Anthony, can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you guys now. Oh, there's something up with the sound. It might not be the right mic. It's coming in very quiet is it yeah all right let me uh or there's no gain on it tap your mic anthony uh yeah yeah it's the right mic yeah we just need to turn the gain up it's at almost zero wow how about that you're really getting there. Let's keep going. All right. We'll even go right to 100%.

I'll even put the mic closer. What does 90 sound like? It's not bad, actually. You might be okay. Yeah. I think this is... It might be the mic. Let me make sure. No, it definitely is the mic. You went from... Oh, okay. We could barely hear your words to pretty darn good.

Okay. Let me push this up a little closer there to my fizz. There we go. All right. I like it. Now I'm talking like a radio guy. Okey-doke. And here we are. Here are what's new anthony

uh hi how are you uh yeah i was just doing chip chipperson's podcast yeah of course chip you know uh he's on a tbs show now it's uh it's ridiculous how how famous chip has gotten uh so his show goes much longer than it's supposed to. So it's like on there for an hour and a half. But here I am. 500 shows, right? Is that it? That's right.

Yeah. That's mental. I was listening to Bill Burr's, you know, that thing where he rants at the city of Philadelphia and rips on all their teams. One of the greatest things ever. Were you in that show? Yeah. Yeah. the greatest things ever. Were you in that show? Yeah, yeah. That was our show. That was the ONA virus tour that we did all around the country.

And we got to Philly. It was a madhouse. I mean, the Philly fans, they lived up to every stereotype that Philly fans have. It was insanity. And I think two or three comics went up before Bill did and just got smashed, just got trashed by the crowd. And then Bill got up there and said,

I'm not taking any of this shit. And the knowledge he had of Philly in order to rip them apart was unbelievable. You fucking won't fucking have in town. Yeah. Yeah. Sports teams, actors that came out of Philly politicians.

He knew everything that ever happened in Philadelphia. So it was, uh, it was really amazing. That kind of put him on the map, uh, really over, uh,

the course of, um, a couple of years after that, he just was doing really great and has been ever since i forget who i was listening to talk to him it might have been bob saget yep apparently bill yeah yeah rogan yeah yeah and he thought that it didn't go well he thought and he's like no you don't know you don't know you just slayed because the audience yeah yeah it was a little mixed you know like they didn't love being insulted but the rest of

the world heard it and bilber blew up it was pretty neat it was pretty neat he did he blew up a question about philly fan so i think woody might be a bit uh our our i literally am a philly fan but carry on yeah yeah yeah is it that philly fans are pieces of shit or is it that people from Philadelphia are pieces of shit? Oh, well, first of all, I dispute the premise of the question, but no,

I would say people from Philly are what you would call pieces of shit that that extends beyond just the sports stadiums. But by you, you mean a person with common sense? I saw what they did to Santa Claus. Santa Claus is a bitch and he deserved those batteries to be thrown at him i don't know what he thought he was doing in an eagles game everyone remembers that wow yeah no like i've told this story before like the first time i attended a hockey game here in raleigh dude a hockey game in raleigh half the fans are wearing the opposing team's jersey

especially if they come from the Northeast, because that's where we all came from. This is this town I live next to, Cary. They call it the concentrated area of relocated Yankees, Cary. And so when Philly comes into town, when Pittsburgh comes into town, all these Philly and Pittsburgh fans go to the game. And I'm a homer. That's me.

I feel like every team deserves home ice advantage so i'm here rooting for the hurricanes even though i grew up rooting for the flyers and uh people are wearing flyers jerseys and i'm like like no one's gonna hit them they're just gonna like just gonna dress like the enemy right here on our home no one's gonna even do the shoulder bump no one's throwing beer at them. The fuck is with this bunch of pussies here in Raleigh? I didn't even get it. I didn't understand that you could root for the enemy team.

They're being civilized. They're being good people. During a Phillies game in 2010, a 21-year-old fan named Matthew Clemens and his friends were escorted by security security out of their seats for unruly behavior god knows what they'd already done to be kicked out of the game however on their way out clemens reportedly leaned over put two fingers down his throat and started vomiting onto an off-duty police officer and his 11 year old daughter

so you two applaud his resourcefulness, right? He was a cop too. They don't say that. Yeah, he was a cop as well. Yeah. No, man. When I see Philly fans, so they like players that work hard.

That's what they really, really like. That's why they liked Allen Iverson. But my favorite was a hockey player named Luke Richardson. This guy was not the best guy on the team, but Jesus, he worked hard. Every second he was on the ice, he was hustling. Every time there was a puck in the corner, he was grinding for it. And every time he hit the ice, the whole fan base would be like, Luke. They just love this guy for the effort he put in.

He was like a blue-collar worker. We loved Brindamore when he was there. And you're in Raleigh, too. put in he was like a blue collar worker we love brindamore when he was there and then you're in raleigh too that like philly fans reward players who are just gutsy and hard working and i mean i don't know i'm still wired that way i fucking love that if you come in here and you're like i don't know jordan the highest jumper greatest player like they like him but they like iverson who weighs like i don know, 73 pounds and still plays amongst these giants. That was respectable.

Like that. That's they like it. In 1983, Zima Williams, known to those associated with the Burgundy and gold as Chief Z, hit the road for the Redskins Eagles matchup. Dressed in his customary costume, Williams was beaten up twice during his visit to Veterans Stadium. On the same day, according to the Washington City paper, first two people ripped his clothes off and threw the feathers he was wearing on his head from the upper deck down into seats below where they were ripped to shreds by other fans.

That, though, would pale in comparison to what happened to him in the parking lot afterwards those same two attackers plus two others assaulted williams and among other things broke his leg he had to use a wheelchair and crutches for the rest of the year now the question i have about this is why is that even a story right i mean he obviously wore Redskins paraphernalia to the Veterans Gate. He was the mascot. No, he wasn't, was he? Yes.

Did I miss that part? The mascot. They beat up the enemy team. He's not wearing a fucking Redskins jersey. He's dressed up as a fucking Indian chief. Oh, no. He's making like $4 an hour to get his legs broken in the parking lot. This is an old man, by the way.

Oh! He looks like that fucking crying Indian who would cry when people threw litter out. He had a lot of nerve for someone who can't defend himself. I give you something to cry about. Jeez, mom. When my book came out in like 2007, my book Men Are Better Than Women came out. I was on Dr. Phil. Coincidentally, it was a sleeper hit.

The publishing company thought no one would buy it. They just tried to push it out. The Dr. Phil stuff went viral, sold a shitload. The first sales report came back. I took a look at it and thought, oh, it's probably normal, like New York, LA, and then kind of spread out in the country. Number one demographic for the sales of Men Are Better Than Women, Philly. By a long shot.

It makes me proud. How about that? Philly, New York, a distant second. I would bargain, I would wager that sales of Mein Kampf are also high in Philly. It's got to be awful people there yeah no whatever i hear like city yeah they booed santa claus and stuff i'm like

yeah what do they try to pass that baby shit off at one of our football games this is an adult thing it's for children they do like the uh you they like the reputation though like philly fans and just people from philly like that reputation that they're just pieces of shit no i'm just categorizing these passionate fans you know they have a different set of expectations they want hard workers they want grinders they want they want guys who put their bodies on the line guys you give 100 every play haven't won the stanley cups in 75 that's who they want yeah you know i was gonna mention kyle was saying like oh it's tom brady that's what he does but i remember philly made it to the super bowl and that's not how i remember it at all we whooped up on tom brady

like he was our bitch me in particular i played a lot of you mean i don't even know what a dime is but i won that game yeah what was that with arian said last episode he's like yeah ask about football you want i'll teach you cover if you want to cover too yeah i That's another thing I don't understand about sports personally. Help me. Help me understand. Why do you care about the players who play for your team? Because they're not from your city. Because you aren't good ones.

Okay, okay. But they don't represent your city, your state, your municipality, any of that. They're all guns for hire, right? They're flown in for as much money as the rich motherfucker that happens to own that team wants to shell out that year unless you're in baseball. Or unless you're in a sport with a salary cap, I should say. And they don't give a fuck about you. A lot of times they hate living in your city. I would wager that a lot of Philly players hate living in Philly. Like, who doesn't?

That's probably why there's an ornery. They have to live in Philly. I bet the amount of money they make mitigates that a lot of Philly players hate living in Philly. Like who doesn't? That's probably why there's an ornery. They have to live in Philly. I bet the amount of money they make mitigates that a little bit. But yeah, for me at least, the only sport I watch religiously is hockey. And I just want to see a really good product on the ice. I want to see high quality hockey. I don't care if he's from Czechoslovakia or Russia or Germany.

Okay. So why do you care about – So why the St.is blues are you gotta have a team yeah you're gonna watch a sport it has to be something whether it's just the uniform the the logo the the state name or initials on the uniform it's got to be something or else you'll just be like oh hey i don't give a shit the way you make it seem like i am i just don't give a shit yeah yeah most people don't you don't give a shit about team they make it seem like it's your state. I just don't give a shit. Yeah, yeah. Most people don't. You don't give a shit about team sports.

And I'll say the way they used to do it, in the NHL at least, was that certain cities would have like a gate. So the Montreal Canadiens in like the 1930s were like, if you're born within 50 miles of Montreal proper, you can't play for any other team. You have to play for us. And eventually they're like, you can't take all any other team. You have to play for us. Eventually, they're like, you can't take all the Canadians.

That's not fair. You're beating everybody's ass. You've won 27 Stanley Cups in the last 33 years. Come on. Spread the love a little bit. You kind of need that. You can't do the Nashville Predators. You think they're going to feel the team of Nashville hockey players? That just means that

we can't have a team in Nashville. Nobody's watching the Nashville Predators anyway. They have one of the best viewerships in the league. Nashville's really excited about the Predators. Says you. I don't know. Says the NHL. That's why being a Yankees fan, as far as baseball goes,

being a Yankees fan is pretty good because the players do enjoy, for the most part, being signed to the Yankees. It pretty good because the players do enjoy for the most part being signed to the yankees it's like a big deal to them uh the team it's always at least good you know even a shitty yankees team is better than san diego or something so you know well there's so many spoiled fans out there new york yeah yeah yeah you're right new york spoiled fans you're right being from st louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. New York Yankees are spoiled fans. You're right. Being from St. Louis, like the Cardinals, the fans here are so fucking spoiled.

Well, they'll be like, we're barely going to make the playoffs this year. This is humiliating. And it's like, yeah, think about like what fucking like Cincinnati and like these poor other people. Like, I don't know about baseball. They can say the Padres never see fucking a championship. They to even say the Padres. They'll just never see fucking a championship. They won't even see a pennant. They'll see nothing.

Atlanta will come. I believe. I hope Atlanta wins for you. That'd be great. Because unlike you who bought a bunch of Bruins stuff to fuck with me if the Bruins would have won the Stanley Cup. If Atlanta won, I would buy a t-shirt. I'd buy a Braves T-shirt.

I'd wear it. You could tattoo the fucking Nationals logo on your cock, and I wouldn't give a fuck. You could dress your girlfriend up as a Brave and fuck her with a Nationals tatted cock, and I just wouldn't care. I just wouldn't care. That left me, like being a big Braves fan left me

like when I was a little kid and, you know, the original team I started watching all fell apart and Bobby Cox retired and all that stuff. I just don't care anymore. Yeah, that's happened after – I remember after the 86 Mets, which of course legendary series against Boston with the famous play at first with – what's his name? Fucking – Went between his legs. I can't think of his name.

Bill Buckner. Yeah, and that team, everyone's like, oh, awesome. We got a great team. And the next year, they just dismantled it. Everyone went somewhere else. And like what you were saying, no one gave a shit. one wanted to be uh stay with the team be out of team pride like oh who's gonna pay me the most i'll go there oh god the dodgers world series robbery just like i felt i hadn't felt that devastated about sports since i was a kid and the suns lost

in like game seven of the NBA champions. Do you remember that when the Suns got beat by the Bulls? It doesn't matter. The Dodgers losing two World Series in a row and then it coming out that they got cheated out of it was like a permanent twisted knife in the gut for an L.A. sports fan stealing the uh right yeah they were picking up their signs and the the other team was picking up their signs signaling to the

batters this was like last three years like three years ago and two years ago um their hitting coach was picking up the signs using uh some kind of like the predator technology over center field and signaling to them with the devices implanted in their assholes. And they were just teeing up on, uh, they would signal the guy, they would signal the guy in the dugout, maybe even with a walkie talkie or something.

And then the guy with the, with, and the guy that dug out would hit a trash can lid with like a stick to code to let them know if it was, if it was like a breaking ball or off speed or what it was going to be like one whack meant fastball and two whacks meant off speed and three meant breaking ball something like that and so you can you go back and watch the games and and the batter will be up and you'll hear you'll hear boom boom and then he'll knock it

out of the fucking park yeah yeah and then they had all that houston strong shit because of their fucking hurricane oh the next they were just dragging it around like oh yeah they really needed this win because of the hurricane like oh you guys are yeah we're donating one percent of our tickets to help people because of the hurricane and it turned out they all they cheated and stole all of it. And nobody got hanged for it. They should have stripped all of those guys naked and made them walk out in shame from Chavez Ravine back to Houston. But nothing, not a goddamn thing happened. It was robbery.

Bullshit. Great ability to get me riled up about things that I didn't know existed 15 seconds. Dude, yeah, right? I went to this bar, the same bar every night. We did all these dumb, superstitious things where all three of us were trying to flirt with the waitress who didn't want anything, didn't even want to be there.

Poison the memory. Oh, that's superstitious. Yeah, we got fucked. As a Yankee fan, we got fucked in 2001 because we were supposed to win because of 9-11. And then like, yeah, you think like, oh, it's got to work like this. It's like a movie, right? Now the fucking the Diamondbacks kick their fucking ass.

That was that. Yeah. That's funny. Well, it could be worse. You could be a Mets fan bobo oh god yeah bobo from my show he's a huge mess but he's an idiot savant without the pesky savant part he's worried about his fucking cock i know so much about that man's penis i don't want to know yeah a little a little too much if i could erase that from my mind oh it's just terrible there's no funnier clip online than of

jim doing the gee do you want to grab her tits bobo and so just yeah yeah oh and then he would talk about uh women and sex and he would get a hard-on and it would show like through his pants obviously he's not standing there naked but like through his pants and then he would start going like so what do you think of the best chances this year and bobo would just start talking about you'd see it go back down and up down up down and patrice o'neill god rest his soul is screaming laughing in this clip it's it's un-fuck-believably funny. That's one of the fine people connected to the

program. Jesus Christ. Just a little Bobo memory going because I was such a big fan. You're breaking up really badly. I'm breaking up? Is someone using your internet in the house? I'll confirm that nobody is. Give me a minute.

Yeah. Got up the gig the gig connection fucking fios that's gonna be a hell of a scream that's going on in the back right now if his mic's muted what the fuck just in case someone is i'm gonna mute this mic fellas i'll be right back just a real gorilla whooping going going on back there just lots of flailing and screaming you just like your mother well i i because i i play my games out in the living room here and and this is missy's rig my girl and she streams here. She plays fucking Animal Crossing and other games that children play.

Things she learns at school. Yeah. We never want it where if somebody's on streaming that the other person can't. Fios does have a pretty good internet service. Yeah, I've got a gig here now, which I really like.

Yeah, it's amazing. I'm south of Atlanta nowadays, but when I used to live out in the country, I was paying $250 per line. And each line was like 12 megabit down and like 3 megabit up. Fuck. So $500 a month for two of those lines. and like three megabit up so 500 a month for two of those lines and there was no way to like um like tether them that would work for streaming and uh and what we do here so one of them was just for my friend and one of them was for me because like like there's no way we can share one fucking internet line 500 a month now i've got a gig and i definitely pay less than – I think I pay like $40, $70, somewhere in there.

When I upgraded to a gig recently, my price went down. Like they hide that shit from you. Like, oh, yeah, this is that price. Oh, you're on the old plan? They're not going to call you and go, hey, by the way, this is better and cheaper. They're just going to let you keep paying because that's what they do. And, you know, as well they should. I guess they're trying to make a buck.

Yeah, they're trying to make money. yeah they're trying to make money that's how it was with serious radio like i remember um yeah i'd had it for like maybe a year 16 months and uh i wasn't driving the car that i had the serious in at the time i was driving my truck and uh and so i just neglected to like re-up it whenever the the plan ended and uh and i started driving the car again so i called him i was like yeah i want to start serious back up and uh but i don't want to pay as much this time and they're like oh well we could do i don't know what i don't remember what i was paying at first like maybe 40 a month and like we could do uh 30 a month and i was like yeah that's still kind of high well how about 22 a month and uh if you sign up for a year and I'm like, eh, that's a lot. And we can probably get you to like seven 99 a month for if you do it for a

year. And I, and I, I agreed to that, but I feel like if I had just kept going, they'd have been like, you know what? Just have it.

Having another subscriber would look good to the board. Let's just, we love it. Cause they're a weird, they're a weird company. Cause, uh, I got them for free right up until July 4th, 2014. And then I had to start paying. I didn't understand why. And they even put up a picture.

See, that's when I got fired. Yeah, I got it. I got it. I got it. You see, that's so weird. What's funny is that they were so quick on the dime to cut off your service. That's how petty they were. Yeah, get him out of the building

and cut his service off right now. That was it. I went to, you know, 80s on 80s and it was over. You can sign up for all the great channels here at SiriusXM. Where's a hot You were authorized to view this channel. Fuck.

It was like two months before you got fired. I checked my internet. Everything seems to be fine, but it was like two months before you got fired that I was like, you know what? It's about time I started paying for this service instead of just listening to old YouTube videos. It was like, you can prepay and save money for six months. I'm like sure and it was like maybe three weeks later that i was driving

around i worked at a fucking rental car company and so as i'm like driving to someone's house to pick up some some fat person who got in a car accident and drive them back at least you had a job yeah at least i had a job making fucking thirty thousand dollars a year and i was just driving around and then here in that episode where it's like anthony will no longer be with the program uh and i was like are you kidding me are you shooting me three weeks into a six month thing yeah it really really wasn't worth six six years with uh doing my own thing it's so fucking weird six years now in the the friggin i am legend version of new york city which is i just went back to new york on monday uh this is the first week i've been back since

everything has happened and it's just weird man the whole city is uh a little frayed around the edges coming apart the seams a bit it's the strangest thing there's no businessmen walking around there's no people that you look and go all right they're constructive people that are kind of paying for the city so restaurants are trying to stay open by putting tables out literally in the street and no one wants to eat their food in a street in new y City. Is it where the cars are? Where the cars are like having to go around the tables. They set up all those cement barricades so Al-Qaeda couldn't drive trucks into people. And now everyone's just eating in the street.

There's heroin addicts everywhere just doing that nod off walk, yelling. I was trying to help out Sullivan's, this Irish place right across the street from the studio. We've been going there for years. So before the show the other day, I got a cheeseburger there and it's a table underneath the, one of those tents that you put up for a backyard wedding or something.

And I'm eating there. And all I was doing was grabbing my backpack for fear that someone was just going to like punch me and steal it and and watch people within two feet of me yelling at each other about drugs and bitches and everything else i was fucking beside myself i'm like i'm never gonna do this again like this city and it's not this will never go back to the way it was. It's done. All the stores are, they're not just boarded up or anything because of potential riots or anything. The windows are soaped up.

You look in, there's no shit in there. It's a stripped building. And that's a lot of places. They could flip the switch tomorrow and say, everything's cool. There's just nowhere to go back to. These cities are fucked fucked like badly fucked people aren't really talking about that it's not going to go back when people go

alright people, COVID's over, we can go back to work there is no work, there's no buildings there's no constructive people, everything's come apart de Blasio, who's our fucking goofball mayor has completely screwed up the legal system, everything else he just flung open the door to Rikers Island. So criminals just walk in the street.

No bail for anybody. So you get arrested, you're back out on the street, and it's showing. That's not something that five years later, or when it happens, they go, you know, we could see effects in two to three years of this. It's literally two to three hours, and the shit is already hitting

the fan so we're fucked in new york i don't know what the other big cities look like because i haven't been there but uh if new york city gauge holy shit this is gonna take a long time to turn this ship around i went to raleigh a few weeks raleigh a few weeks ago and uh it was the same sort of thing it was like this i am legend thing we had a violent uh protest or so they like they busted every window raleigh's of course a lot smaller so most of it's focused on one or two streets and uh yeah all the windows were busted out there's plywood uh the stores are closed and everyone's wearing masks and it's a different scene. You guys are crazy. St. Louis, we're doing great. Hey, I saw your show.

That was awesome. Murders are down to 1,000 a week. They're just throwing rocks at plywood. I was thinking about how funny it would be. I was thinking about trying to get a fake Twitter thread, getting a bunch of attention, where I take photos of East St. Louis from 2012, 2013, and I say that they're all due to the riot

and try and get people up in arms about it and then just tell them that they've been lied to. I guess it won't work now. You should remember, we were talking about it last week maybe, but it was when Hurricane Katrina happened. Taylor tweeted out. Taylor edited this footage together where it was footage from the movie 2012 of that wave that washes over New York City. And it's halfway up the Empire State Building, just destroying the whole city.

And he's got that juxtaposed with a news reporter being like, yes, Hurricane Katrina causing major damage across the seaboard. And a lot of people were like, that's too soon. Now you need to do the same thing with someone talking about St. Louis, but just show a picture of Hiroshima. After the blast. It was Hurricane Sandy, and the reason people

got so mad is because I edited the video and uploaded it while the storm was still happening oh yeah going on yeah it was crazy there were people dying in the streets and taylor's tweeting out a fucking gag it was funny you know you know what else is nuts like knowing that there's no way a major city and and i know new york that new york could ever pay for anything going on right now. I don't know where any money is coming from. There's no businesses are open. All the executives and these things, they're working from home.

So the city's not getting their rent money from that shit. And I come in from Long Island on the train. I have my own personal Long island railroad train car so for for ten dollars all the diesel fuel that that thing has to burn to get to new york city is just for me it's like hey my own fucking train so i know they're not paying for the fucking train you travel like a fucking vanderbilt yeah exactly the second i hear the train go that's how much i just paid that's like now they broke even anything more than that is costing them the second you hear that's what i paid for that's part of the break drum that i

it's just it's so fucking weird man it really is i don't know how this ends but yeah in la they we figured out how to eat in the street in la too uh you knew how to poop so yeah uh so now skid row for like for like two weeks we were allowed to go down to my favorite barcade down the street but we couldn't go in. We could only stand in the parking lot drinking $10 Moscow mules

out of these crummy plastic cups staring through all the video games through a window. Staring into the barcade where little kids who wanted to go in. You went to a barcade and you couldn't even play the games because I'm going insane like I need to see

other people I'll see I'm willing to flirt with Buffalo Bill at this point it's been so long since I've seen another woman the best part is LA LA tricked women into coming back into the city by opening up all the pilates stuff for

like a week and a half and then said oh no never mind so now they all left they left all their sugar daddies or their actual daddies and came back into town to try to like do play business again and now they're all on instagram going like well wait a minute that this is this is fucked like oh welcome to the fucking party, pal. You got a problem with it now? You can hear them getting fatter. I don't believe it. It sounds like jelly sliding down a hill.

I'm one of those guys. I don't believe the COVID thing. I just don't fucking believe it. I don't believe the mask. Talk some sense into that, man. I tried to do this for like 10 minutes earlier. I don't believe any of that. I sense into them, man. I tried to do this for like 10 minutes earlier. I don't believe any of that. I am fucking like enough of this shit.

I don't know anyone in four months, and I know a lot of fucking people, in four months I don't know one person that's even had a cold. Not even a fucking cold. I'm in ground zero, New York City. I don't know anyone that's even had a fucking cold. And enough. Just take the masks off off let's go to work

if people get sick they might get they most of them feel nothing some of them get a cold some of them get the fluids bad and some people die yes this has been happening for fucking centuries who gives a shit i'm sorry if you want to send the kids to school, that's another thing. It's literally statistically 0% with the plus or minus 0% of school age kids have died from this. And if you have a grandma at home, then don't send your kid. They could go online still with teachers maybe that have a pre-existing condition or too old or whatever. And they could still teach them online. But everybody else, get the fuck to work, go to school, open your shit, and let's see what the fuck.

Because I don't think it's anywhere near what they're saying. This is very politically motivated. You think it's all an effort to get Trump out? They want Trump out. I honestly believe it because we've only seen that for four years. All we've seen are people trying to get Trump out. And here's the big clincher. Here's the big clincher.

If it's a month out of the election and none of this shit has worked, they will take a shot at the fucking guy. I don't put it past these fucks to try the Kennedy solution when it comes to our president. I don't put it past them. All of this will end on Election Day. All of a sudden, there's a cure. There's nothing no one will talk about. A month after Election Day, we're going to open our glove compartment,

pull out a mask, and go, remember this shit? Remember? It's all a fucking work. Who can't see this? They've been fucking with us for four years with this shit. Where's the guy going into seizures find me one american that did one of those chinese where they were showing us find me someone that didn't get health care uh where they died of covid because of lack of of being able to go to a

hospital get on a ventilator no one everyone has been able to be treated for this. No one died in the street. No one died in their house. Like the fucking stand. No, it was always, everyone is getting, you get the flu. And then they say,

Oh, the cases are going up. They're supposed to go up. The whole thing was about flattening the curve. So the hospitals don't get overwhelmed. They did that. And then it turned into until a vaccine, until there's a cure.

You're supposed to get this. That's how it's worked through history. You're supposed to get it. Some people, horrible. They'll die. That's what happens. Oh, my grandmother died of COVID. Mine died of cancer. Why are you so fucking special?

It's a disease. It's a fucking disease. Sorry. Holy shit. It's a work. It's a scam. Trust me on this. I'm drinking.

It's way more fun to be on Dick and Anthony's side. Yes, I'm going to base all future public policy opinions on Anthony's friends. I'm on the side where it's like, of the five of us, I'm the only one that still has a normal job that I go to regularly, and I've been able to work from home for four months straight, and I don't care

if this was a million percent made up. I do not want to go back. It turns out in fucking 2020, everything that you can do in a marketing sales advertising position you can do from home you can do just fucking fine and so what i'm dreading is really if they shut this down and then clients are suddenly like all right well everybody back into the office like no i don't think it's gonna happen i don't think that's

gonna happen i think this was the push that people needed to use the technology that we already had to not pay umpteen thousand dollars per square foot in a big city when everyone could get their job done at home through things like zoom or uh any other one of the discord anything tick tock whatever the kids are using tick Tick, tick, tick, tick. You buy space, whatever it is. eBay probably, I don't know. Wouldn't it be great if MySpace had a huge resurgence because of this? That would be hilarious if it came back. And what's his name?

Who was the owner of that? Tom. Tom. Your first friend that you ever got. Tom's just like, I'm making another go for this, guys. Help me out here. Tom never told our data, man. Tom was our man.

All the memes are about Tom where it's like, hey, this is Tom from MySpace. He sold out for $500 million and then he retired. He never sold your data. He never fucked with you. He saw an out and was like, he didn't censor you. He didn't tell you what you could say.

Yeah, Tom from MySpace. Cool ass dude. and was like wow he didn't censor you he didn't tell you what you can say yeah like that yeah tom from myspace cool ass dude no you could put 20 glittering fucking unicorns on your front page that play music barely compressed every fucking thing is just coming out at this insane fucking two and a half minutes to load people the page backgrounds are tiled and that's very difficult to read thing yeah my space it was hilarious just drag and drop it onto your fucking page fog doesn't fit the text is doing this everybody's page with music is terrible but they'll like my song because i have good taste some shitty midi music

like fucking jingle bell rock during christmas like an atari like an atari 800 it would i like how how the COVID talk from Ant got us right up to conspiracy. Conspiracy is where you want to go. I was going to go to guess that offense. Kyle, you be the timer. Do you want to go to guess that offense or do you want to go to conspiracies?

I want to go to conspiracies. I'll go first if you want. I feel like I was too serious with mine again and not silly enough I don't think you should go first because you only have one and Woody and I have two that's right to couch you

in there and so I'm happy to go first I'll let you guys pick which one I'll go to Kyle and we'll wrap him so the two that I'm prepared are Albert Einstein fraudulent plagiarist, and Helen

Keller, secret retard. You're off to a good start. I'm sorry. These Hallmark movie titles are just getting out of hand. Helen Keller, secret retard. So either of those, which one do you guys want? Helen Keller. Ifi Helen Keller secret retry so either of those which one do you guys Helen Keller I want Helen Keller that's the one that's gonna piss me off okay all right so I will make the case that at absolute best and this is at absolute best Helen K Helen Keller was able to say and comprehend

a few words and short phrases all the advanced speech she gave was trained and rehearsed for her by her trainer and teacher, Ann Sullivan, almost like a parent more than a person. Wow. And so I will say this. She went blind and deaf at 19 months old. Do you know what the prognosis is for children who go blind and deaf at 19 months old in the year 2020 as opposed to 125 years ago? It's that they will never be able to function in society. They will never be able to communicate. They will not be able to engage in normal behavior. There is no hope. You just have to mitigate it. I looked up a lot of reviews of people who talk about this kind of thing who work with blind deaf people. And what they say is that you're way more likely to have to engage with them lashing out violently at you

because of confusion. And, you know, it's sad. They're totally distanced from reality. And so they obviously lash out. You're way more likely to engage in that kind of behavior from these patients than you are them trying to read because they can't read there's a fundamental level of perception that you need in order to engage with anyone at any meaningful level and that includes both audio and visual you know or i don't you don't need both because i've never thought of this there are deaf people who can communicate and there are blind people can who can communicate but that's only because blind people take advantage of audio deaf Deaf people take advantage of visual. That's the only reason that it's able to be done.

Is it a coincidence that in all of human history, there have been blind deaf people? Not once, not once in human history, other than Helen Keller, have they been able to engage with someone like this and speak in this way. And you may say to me, oh, there was someone 50 years prior to Helen Keller

that was also a taught blind deaf person. That person is even less credible than Helen Keller. They literally are. I went on a deep fucking dive. I can't believe you're shitting on me. This is awesome. So I'm saying it's simple. It is far more likely that she is a hoax than it is likely that of all blind people throughout human history, she is the only one that was capable of speech.

And not only speech, because remember this, this is not reported that she was able to recognize water. It was reported that she was a very political person with a lot of astute observations about the goings on in society. person with a lot of astute observations about the goings on in society and what you don't know is that ann sullivan her teacher isn't it remarkable that all of helen keller's political beliefs align exactly with those of ann sullivan her teacher that's weird it's weird that she finds this one woman teaches her how to say a couple words there are literally speeches political speeches of helen keller that you can find where the actual speech is Anne Sullivan standing there talking with Helen Keller's hand moving in her hand. It's just like Joe Biden. It's almost like Joe Biden.

I will say this. There was an established way that Anne Sullivan said that Helen Keller communicated, and that was to make single measures, single positions in the hand of Ann Sullivan that meant different letters. Yet in all of these speeches, Helen Keller is furiously signing, not that furious because she's retarded. And what it turns out is that Ann Sullivanllivan is speaking at a normal pace a normal normal everything giving normal speeches about politics or beliefs everything hey try and uh speak one sentence to me kyle where instead of saying the words out to me you spell them out and not even with your hand spell them out with your mouth how long does it take say hello my name is kyle with just the letters f u c k y o u

all right he's making great points here he's the miracle worker no no i'm kidding me helen keller was a scam that's patty duke motherfucker you think there's one blind person that's ever achieved this and not only that she mimics the exact political views of her teacher which are very you know extremist views in a lot of situations especially for the time you think that's a coincidence you think that's that's real you think that now so in the last in the last 120 years no other deaf blind people have been able to be reached this way no other ones

all the advancements in science all the advancements and everything none of them are reached that's fucking crazy isn't that weird where's Ann Sullivan Ann Sullivan's dead you gotta dig her ass up get to the bottom of this. What a great point. So Ann Sullivan used to talk at these things. She would be the voice of Helen Keller, allegedly. And Helen was supposed to be talking to her. And she would talk in a normal cadence? Yes, and she would speak.

So that's impossible from what you just demonstrated. Because she's getting one letter at a time. That would be a long, drawn out speech. Yes. What's hilarious? Is it possible to have shorthand like a court reporter? She can't even see or hear. Yeah. I love this.

I love this. And so I maintain. Fuck Helen Keller. I maintain. My question, Taylor. This bitch has been retarded from the start and we've all been bamboozled. Is Helen Keller even in on the ruse, or is she just playing palm tickle games the whole time, unaware that there's a speech happening? Of course she's not in on the ruse.

She's retarded. If she's retarded, she's the mastermind. Also, here's another thing. The big thing from the medical worker was the scene where Helen Keller and her retard voice like, and like saying there's water on here. There's no way to falsify that claim. She doesn't know if water means water. She doesn't know if water means wet.

She doesn't know if water means cold. She doesn't know if it means the sensation of water rolling over her fingers. There's no way to falsify what she could possibly mean by expressing that term. And so for that reason, I say it is absolutely 100% verified based on this two-page document I made earlier today that Helen Keller was a fucking retard. She absolutely was used by Ann Sullivan. And let me add to this. She came from a very, very wealthy family, and her parents did not want to accept that she was retarded. They were very afraid of that.

And so they paid Ann Sullivan. We saw that in the movie where she would go around and just smash things on the table and take everyone's food like an animal. Exactly. And so her parents were desperate. They would pay any amount to any teacher. You think Aunt Sullivan was the first teacher that came in there? No. There were tons of teachers that came in prior that said, yeah, I'm sorry. She doesn't have a lot of money. She can't engage with reality, unfortunately. It is very sad.

It's a very sad story. But that doesn't change the fact that she had rich parents who were heavily invested in her not being a mental midget and they used ann sullivan who then used helen keller to both raise money for her own political causes and espouse the same beliefs that she held uh in order to get uh publicity something else you don't know about her she did not get publicity and become famous after all of her stuff, all of her speeches. She was a novelty way before that. She was a novelty way prior to any of this. Just when she went to an all-girls school who could obviously speak and see and hear, that was like a national news story in the early 1900s. Oh my God, she's really going to school with these people. How can you graduate school in four

years if not only can you not go back and reread things and reanalyze things without someone giving it to you, but you also have the ability to read when a paragraph takes five hours to read. You're not graduating the same time. This shit is so absurd. It is so absurd on its fucking face. So why would they give her like a diploma? Because didn't she get a university diploma also? She was famous. Yeah, yeah.

So what motive would the university have? Publicity? For graduating this fucking retard? Yeah. So eloquently put it. It sounds to me like what you're saying is Helen Keller, secret genius. Secret retard, and there we go wow i am stunned i i dude that was fucking concise i give it to you thank you so there's my there's my first one the

einstein one's even better let's do it man we got to get us a little retarded kid does that one more thing wouldn't we have you're right wouldn't we have seen more deaf blind people excelling especially in this day and age you look at uh people with disabilities that were kept them out of any type of social interaction even a few decades ago and now people are living uh perfectly well in society with certain mental problems or what and and you would think you'd get one more helen keller who would be deaf and blind and and going around and touring and it's almost nothing it's almost like it was easier to bullshit people 130 years ago that's very good no because what you're describing is exactly what they did with coco the gorilla it would just coco coco can't speak at all she just makes symbols and the bitch uh her her her ann sullivan just says what she thinks coco means the same exact

thing i was i was absolutely devastated when i deep dived into Coco. I was like, oh, no, this gorilla wasn't talking. I love that story. I loved it so much. It's adorable with the kitten. It puts the hat on and shit like that. So, you know, I'm fine with Coco. You know what else with Coco? Is that she had a fixation on nipples and breasts.

And so there were people who took out like cases against the zoo because like some chick's reporter would jump and be like i'm here to talk to coco and then some zookeeper would be like yeah she likes it when you pop your tits out and like there were newscasts so coco could like grab the nip or something and so yeah then nice coco sexual harassment i wish you had made your conspiracy theory that coco was in fact not a gorilla but a man in a gorilla suit. That would be something. That would be fucking hilarious if a guy dressed up as a fucking gorilla

and had perfect sign language. Yeah. But also like titties. Yeah. Woody, I did manage to open your, uh, the third one I think should work. The third one works.

Yeah. Yeah. So what, what do you likes to create PowerPoints to go along with this, his conspiracy slides. And so just because we always vote at the end of these, because the goal is to try and convince people compelled by my Helen Keller presentation.

Oh, Jesus Christ. You're you're gonna win it was crazy i haven't heard kyle's yet but i'm throwing away all my helen keller memorabilia i have around the house fuck that kicked off so strong is it my turn yeah all right last link open the slides don't go ahead and uh here we go so before the funny starts no joke um painkiller already lost a fan and uh and i miss him so this is dan dan was in the 50 dollar hangouts so i spent four hours a month with him for the last couple years maybe um i wish he wasn't dead uh he was an actual genius i think he graduated high school in two years aced his mcats uh while he was still an undergrad i think he was in his third or fourth year of med school and i was looking forward to his story um he uh he died in a car accident last week he's he's gone and as you can see he had a movie star

body if that counts for anything too but uh i wish he wasn't dead so i devoted my conspiracy theory to dr dan rest in peace rest in peace very cool guy colonoscopies are bullshit yeah all right should we disregard this in the voting, Woody, or are we voting? Is it tied to? I don't know. I don't know. We haven't figured that out. Shit.

Every time I touch this, it changes. All right. Colonoscopies are a nonsense procedure performed by doctors who are into butt stuff and money. What do you think will happen if you don't get a colonoscopy? This is the big lie. We're told that regular colonoscopies after age 50 make colorectal cancer 90% more curable. They're more than 90% curable, but only if you catch it in time. The truth is colonoscopies do not prevent or materially reduce anyone's risk of colorectal cancer regardless of age.

There are no prospective randomized controlled trials of screening of colonoscopy that reduce the incidence of mortality or colorectal cancer. We're on the first This Is Science slide. The New York Times, the New York Times, this is a reputable paper. They report that patients in all their studies had at least one edema, detected a colonoscopy, but didn't have cancer. They developed cancer in the next few years at the same rate as would be expected in the general population without screening. This goes on and on.

The science is there. Colonoscopy can result in significant harms, most often associated with polypectomy seriously complicated most common serious complication colonoscopies are a problem ladies and gentlemen the next slide the u.s food and drug administration says that all right so this one is about virtual colonoscopies right here they they bombard your body with radiation equivalent to japanese survivors of atomic bombs. Colonoscopies don't prevent cancer. That's too much. Colonoscopies cause cancer, people. Whoa.

Next slide. Whether it's a virtual colonoscopy or not, it does not reduce the deaths from cancer. There's no data out there that supports that. So we're on the green slide. You're probably thinking, you're making salient points, Woody. Why would doctors

perform them these are my discoveries if you look at how enjoyable anal sex is versus time on this chart it gets better and better the more experienced you are why are doctors performing colonoscopies this chart yes no this existed on the internet doctors like the same slide to his wife last week anal sex overtime slide oh that's a great story doctors like anal this is an undeniable truth and two if you if you look at my uh time benefit analysis of anal sex you'll see the more anal you do, the more you like anal. This is science. Next slide.

Pornhub searches, right? What? What does this have to do with colonoscopy? If you look at the searches that happen on anal over time on Pornhub, it's going nothing but up. It's going nothing. I assure you,

there are other links that are going down. Brunettes. I don't know why. Brunette, that search term is getting crushed. But anal, anal is on the rise. Interest in butt stuff in general is on the rise. And people are saying that doctors who perform colonoscopies are on the vanguard of this

movement. The movement towards liking anal sex. Lots of smart people. Lots of good people are talking about this. Lots of smart people are saying, why don't you just get your ass checked out i say because my ass is tied go fuck yourself next slide the price of colonoscopies is not consistent around america and if you look at places where colonoscopies are expensive like south South Dakota. Interest in anal is low. And then divert your eyes over to like Nevada and Las Vegas, where colonoscopies are cheap as fuck. Why is that? Las Vegas is the anal sex capital of the world, and they give out colonoscopies there like they are candy. Is that true?

I've gotten into the ass in Vegas many times. The anal sex capital of the world i choose to believe it so here's my conclusion colonoscopies are not about saving lives they are fulfilling the wants and desires of the doctors who perform them wow that is i'm never getting i am never getting a colonoscopy

thank god i'm glad I won you over. Yes. Damn. You know who's in favor of colonoscopies? That fucking retard, Helen Keller. With her moving fingers. Yes. I don't like this.

Dr. Dan, if you're up there, that was my tribute to you. Yes, Dan. So would the prostate exam also be part of this fascination that doctors have with the anal, or does that help? Undeniably, yeah. Yeah, the prostate exam, the one where they grab you. As I would say, that is another slice out of the same pie.

That one where they grab your balls and have you cough? That's not for you. That's for your doctor wow yeah you think in 2020 they wouldn't have to stick anything up your ass anymore let's be real here exactly yeah i'm doing some point all right it's all a conspiracy big colonoscopy they wave over your back and it tells you if you're fucked or not. Dr. McCoy at least had like a... Like we're fucking close enough to that to maybe have some gadget that doesn't have to go in your ass. I don't know. They're shoving fucking Q-tips down into people's brains right now to find Corona. So I don't think we're very close to anything cool.

You can't counter my conspiracy with an obvious hoax right the covid in general is not real anthony doesn't have any friends with it it's not real i don't know anybody well by that evidence alone i touche so roslyn new york is apparently a fucking enclave of safety when it comes to the COVID. So I'm going to side with Taylor on the believability that the conspiracy may in fact be legit. And only because if I heard you right, Woody, it seemed that there was a problem with some of your information. It seemed like you were saying colonoscopies don't prevent

cancer, but aren't the purpose of colonoscopies don't prevent cancer but aren't the purpose of colonoscopies to detect cancer i was hoping that you didn't notice that i did notice it i noticed it immediately i fucking knew helen keller would give me the goal on this one. When you showed me, I was like, well, fuck. I'd have done something much more ridiculous if I'd known he was going Helen Keller. I've said I believe for years she was a fucking retard. I know. I know.

I have another one. Oh, okay. No, I won't go next. I think Taylor and I should sandwich you. Let me squeeze mine in. Mine comes from a good place in my heart, though. Everybody remembers my last one, of course, when I disproved the Holocaust. Yeah.

Well, we're going right back to Nazi Germany. After the fall of the Third Reich, many high-ranking Nazis and their families fled Germany to the South American refuge of Argentina. There, many of them lived out their days in peace in small communities that were almost entirely of Germanic descent. In these communities, they spoke German and often did very little to hide their former identities. However, some of the more notorious Nazis to include Adolf Eichmann, who of course was the architect of Hitler's final solution, which we of course debunked in our previous conspiracy theory episode. He was later captured, of course,

by Israeli Mossad agents and sentenced to death. One of the few death penalties in Israel's history, I believe. Maybe the only. Joseph Mengele also fled there. A Nazi doctor who performed gruesome human experiments, supposedly, at Auschwitz death camp. He lived out the rest of his life in South America and died of natural causes in 1979.

Lived a pretty full life. Walter Ralph also... He actually would have gotten to see Grease. Yeah. Thought I'd put that out there for you. How can you forget that classic? John Travolta

just really breaking it. Yeah. You're a man of the money, Gabe. Yeah. Rizzo, the whole thing. Walter Ralph, another noted Nazi, his note to fame was that he created the mobile gas chamber. Walter? Yeah, Walter Rauf.

He created the mobile gas chamber by modifying large cargo trucks to divert their exhaust into airtight chambers in the rear that can hold up 60 people uh he lived in south america global gas chamber thing well i'm bringing it to you right now this is this is hot off the presses uh from 1943 um he lived out the rest of his days in south america until his natural death in 1984 these are but a few of the many, many high-ranking and powerful Nazis who escaped justice, if not

for the rest of their lives, then at least for many, many years. But what of Hitler? We're told that he killed himself in his bunker in the final days of the war and commanded that his and his newly married wife, Eva Braun's body were to be

burned so that they might not be taken as trophies or displayed publicly, as was the body of Mussolini. Taylor had seen this and didn't want the same to happen to him, we're told. But why? Why not attempt to escape the same way so many of his underlings and compatriots would? Fleeing to South America had been the escape plan of the Nazis for several years. As soon as the Soviets started invading, a lot of Nazis saw that the writing might indeed be on the wall, and they started making plans. The routes, the methods, the funding to do so had been put in place for years. I put forward that, in fact, Hitler, a man who employed body doubles and excelled at propaganda, did, in fact, fake his own death and escape, like so many others, to Argentina, where he likely lived

out the rest of his life in hiding under an assumed identity. The Soviets, of course, known for their truthfulness, they claimed that they captured Hitler's supposed remains not long after his death, just outside his bunker in Berlin. They were, by all reports, badly burned and amounted to little more than bone, teeth, and a severely burned body that was described as mostly mush that was unrecognizable as a human. However, they did not use these as trophies. Rather, they hid them away and eventually destroyed them. The few samples of the skull that remained were DNA tested eventually and found not only to not be Hitler's, but to not even be the skull of a man. We are left to believe that in Stalin's version.

Yes, that's absolutely a truthful thing. You can Google that. Stalin's version of it was a woman's skull. It was not Hitler's skull. It was a woman's skull. Stalin's version of events It was a woman's skull. It was not Hitler's skull. It was a woman's skull. Stalin's version of events... Hitler was a woman? Yes.

Whoa, whoa, Kyle. This is a conspiracy. God damn it. Kyle, if you can discern someone's sex from their skull after death, that would mean that gender is real. Yeah, you're assuming gender.

So we're left to believe Stalin's version of events, a man well-known for his deception of the people and pro-Soviet propaganda. He'd tell all sorts of lies, things that would make the Soviets look good, the West look bad. bad. Meanwhile, however, throughout the middle of the last century, the CIA, Mossad, MI5, and KGB all had files of claims that Hitler was living in South America and they pursued them actively. If Adolf Hitler killed himself in Berlin, asks one, why were the World Spy Services still looking for him into the middle of the 1950s. It was reported by dozens of news reporters in September of 45 that British MI5 were hunting Hitler, who had reportedly been altered by a plastic surgeon. They also ran comments by the deputy mayor of Berlin, who was convinced that Hitler was alive. Such was the persistence of these claims that one month later, the Supreme

Allied Commander Dwight Eisenhower suggested that, yes, Hitler might still be alive. In fact, there were multiple reports that Hitler was living with his old comrades in Argentina, having by some accounts been spirited out of Berlin, flown to a German airbase in Denmark, and then taken across the Atlantic by U-boat. The Fuhrer, one FBI file reported, had arrived at his Argentinian ranch hideaway by horseback. Luftwaffe Captain Peter Bumgaard claimed that he flew Hitler and Braun to safety in Denmark on April 28, 1945, stopping overnight in Magdeburg due to an Allied bombing. Made during his trial for war crimes in Poland in December 47, Baumgart's story was reported in newspapers throughout the entire world. Why would a man on trial for his life admit to further crimes that were new information to the court? He was probably being tortured.

Okay. So in conclusion, one of two things are true either we believe that the soviet version of events and assume that one of the world's most powerful men who'd survived six assassination attempts who employed body doubles and was very secretive died at his own hands in defeat, or we believe the evidence to the contrary, that are in our own common sense. Hitler did not die in 1945 and likely lived out the rest of his days in relative comfort and luxury in Argentina amongst friends and loved ones.

That's interesting. I don't buy it, though. What a nice story. Seems like it would be very difficult to get out of where he was in that bunker. My take on it is everybody else escaped. Hitler was kind of famous.

No, they weren't surrounded because everybody left. But the rest of them were turned into the Nuremberg trials. They didn't escape. Not the people in the bunker. I gave you a list of the people who escaped. They were all there at the bunker, too. There were some hardcore people

that did get out. No one recognized him for the next 50 years of his life or whatever there was left. They claimed plastic. Did he have a razor? If he had a razor, I believe he was able to escape. Yeah, my name is Adam. Wish that fucker off. You would not recognize him

without his mustache. That's true. He probably looks like a would not recognize him without his mustache. That's true. He probably looks like a normal ass dude without a mustache. Yeah, that one move and you just don't even look like the guy anymore. He spent the rest of his life acting under the pseudonym Charlie Chaplin. Yo, my name is

Misha. I am from Argentina. I am Peter Juleva. I'm pretty sure Charlie Chaplin was the one who was like, this bastard Argentina? Yeah, no. I am Peter Juleva. I'm pretty sure Charlie Chaplin was the one who was like, this bastard stole my mustache. Have you ever seen the Whitest Kids You Know

episode where they send Charlie Chaplin to go... I think they're like charging... The Allies are at Hitler's bunker and they're like psyching themselves up like, alright boys, this is it. Hitler's in there. Let's go take him.

And they rush in, and it's Charlie Chaplin doing his whole bit with the cane and the hat and everything. And they're like, that's not Hitler. That's Charlie Chaplin. And you're like, oh, my God. They really think it's Charlie Chaplin. And then Charlie Chaplin's like, he's doing the mime thing he's like reaches over like for the the allied silver's soldiers gun and he's like yeah yeah yeah and

he goes and like kills all fucking three of them and you think ah hitler got the best of them and then hitler walks out of the back and he goes thank you my greatest friend charlie chaplin they're both fucking there see that's the conspiracy i want to hear but also he raised a lot of interesting points there i like it i'm interested by it and i have an inherent want to believe in conspiracy theories as that hitler is still alive i understand yeah still alive i shouldn't say that he survived oh you ever watch that movie uh you ever watch the movie boys from brazil oh yeah that's a sick movie so the premise of that is that they have cloned hitler and um they have like i don't know 80 hitler clones these little boys and they have

placed them in similar social conditions as hitler grew up in like they like the same his father has the same job he's like a um a civil servant the mother um has is like a housewife or something like whatever hitler grew up in uh like income and everything and they're placed throughout the fucking world these are the and they were created in brazil by this scientist and uh this guy gets to the bottom of it he It was Dr. Mengele that actually got it together. Gregory Peck. Gregory Peck. Yeah.

It was a great movie. Is it a movie? It's a movie. It's a movie. Okay. Yeah. It's like a Hollywood movie. And it's really fucking good.

And there's a guy going around trying to kill all the little boys. And I think Gregory Peck is. And then there's a guy trying to prevent him kill all the little boys. And, uh, I think Gregory Peck is, and then there's a guy trying to prevent him from doing it. It's, it's fucking good. Yeah. Gregory Peck is Dr. Mengele.

And he's like in charge of the whole thing. And, uh, yeah, they decided, or they, they figured out scientifically that if you just cloned Hitler and, and grew him up,

that he wouldn't turn into Hitler unless he lived the same kind of life. So the father died, uh died when Hitler was a kid. So they had assassins go around and shoot the father of all these kids that they placed in certain situations around the world. They had to go through the whole thing of making Hitler's life like it was. And then someone found out, Simon Wiesenthal or something. I don't know. There's one line where Dr. Mengele gregory peck is at a a big party in brazil and there's nazis everywhere

and the place is done up like berlin and uh this ugly woman says something when he goes he just goes shut up you ugly bitch and it's it's delivered perfectly Gregory Peck you might remember him from fucking to kill a mockingbird like just a brilliant actor saying shut up you ugly bitch catch it if you can it's probably on Netflix it's good it's fucking good

yeah yeah now Kyle are we to believe that Hitler escaped and didn't try again I think he saw the the jigsaw evaded you know i i think that uh he did have a lot of illnesses i think he had parkinson's and he he was also addicted to several uh substances um a methamphetamine derivative being one of them so uh i think that he would he just retired you know i don't know man it's hard to retire. Be like George Foreman.

He's coming back. You know he's coming back again. To be honest, I put more faith into doctors are into butt stuff than Hitler lived for another 40 years. I literally, no jokes aside, do not. That's how unlikely that doctors are into butt stuff. The Hitler thing I have heard for quite a while. It's one of those things that people have brought up for for decades after decade uh so mark my words it does have some validity i believe but uh i think there's more proof that he didn't than there is proof that he did the The main piece of proof is that they

claim that they have some of his teeth and that his dentist was like, oh yeah, that's his teeth. And it's like... What Nazi teeth? Those look like Nazi teeth to me. Yeah, yeah. See, but the

goddamn Helen Keller shit just makes perfect sense. Oh, it's's killer it's so obvious we have history we have like obviously she couldn't have done that so yeah wow that's a tough one that that is he's gonna win but there's two left yeah yeah i remember watching that movie in school and being taught about the miracle worker and helen. And it hurts to come to the realization that, yes, she was a fraud. He's brought this up before, and I was like, you're just an asshole. You're just an asshole. She's an inspirational story.

But if he's to be believed, I've done zero research on my own, that no one has ever done what she did, then you're left with two options. Either she's literally she's she's either a genius or a retard it's literally one or the other like she's like either the smartest deaf blind person that's ever existed like if she had her senses she'd have been einstein maybe not einstein because apparently he's about to disprove einstein um but oh yeah right or she she in fact was a literal retarded person i I think it's like when,

like, like, like Ann Sullivan must've been like with, with Helen thinking it was like a dog. You ever see people online? They're like, look, my dog.

And it goes, Oh, it's saying, I love you. Yeah. My dog said, I love you. It's like,

no, your stupid dog didn't say, I love you. Right. Three syllables. I'll give you that. Instead, it's more like, it's like this.

She says that capitalism is inherently flawed, folks. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Let me read you a supposed quote from Helen. Oh, okay. I would like to hear a quote from the great Ms. Keller. Did she ever get married? That would be interesting.

Oh, God. That lines up exactly with the beliefs of her teacher. It is. It's got fucking papers. When we watched that movie in junior high, the only thing I remember is the 20 minute speech our teacher gave us about how if anyone laughed at the end of the movie i'm like like he had a whole chart on this is how if you snicker this is how much trouble you're gonna get in

yeah all right man we know you fucking you are showing us this movie We don't want to see it. I just conjugate verbs in the outside, please. It was a great way to find out who was going to be a comic in the room. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's going to be a comic. He sat on my desk during the entire movie. Your balls are on my hand.

He's like, tell your parents they're not gonna care you're right you're right can i at least watch i it sounds funny what's going no you may not watch i'm trying to watch a movie as a 16 year old and i'm cracking the fuck up so funny yeah it's no way can we walk out of that class like drunks? Like just silent. That was a good shit, man. That was a good shit. Whoa, whoa.

Tell me if you think this seems more likely to have come from Ann Sullivan, her teacher who is very politically motivated or more likely to come from a person, the only person in human history, blind, deaf, and mostly dumb that can't... Simple wizard? motivated or more likely to come from a person the only person in human history blind deaf and mostly dumb that can't that can actually be a wizard yeah yeah here's her here's ellen keller's quote translated by ann sullivan our worst foes are ignorance poverty and the unconscious cruelty of our commercials oh fuck these are the of blindness these are the enemies which destroy the sight of children and workmen and undermine

the health of mankind does that seem like a blind deaf person no no no how long did it take her to say it how many months did it take her to say that she was a college graduate and sullivan said that shit i'm throwing this in the finished box. I win. Oh, my God. Either that retard was more eloquent than all of us combined. Oh, yeah. It's a slam dunk, my friend.

The more likely thing is that she was manipulated and used. So just saying. Just saying. I just want to wake my mom up after this show. I do want to hear the Einstein the einstein one though so i think i'm gonna go and then we'll we'll have taylor as our closer sure sure all right so um oh next link don't look ahead i will not all right the entire pka cast is on steroids. That's how I gained so much weight so quickly in my

fat fucking belly and thighs and face. A conspiracy theory by an obvious right head. All right, the case is clear. This presentation will outline the impact of steroids have on adult males and compare them with the changes we've seen in the hosts over the years. All right,

let's get the obvious one out of the way. Performance-enhancing drugs increase skull size, right? You can see the impact that it had on Barry Bonds right here. Wow, that's crazy. Next slide with the Joe Rogan. Oh, my goodness. Fuck, I could rest my case right here. Really?

Oh, my God. If you think this change just happens, then you're adorable. I like how you didn't even shrink my photo enough to fit in the frame. It's overlapping, Joe. Next slide. All right. Performance enhancing drugs increase muscle size holy shit taylor all right so here's me natural no i have a bridge to sell you look at my biceps look at my

thighs this is the kind of performance that only this is what peak performance looks like and it doesn't happen naturally next slide taylor jesus christ tay. Look at you. Look at you. You didn't look like that when you first joined the show. This is the obvious impact of performance-enhancing drugs. On to Kyle. Next slide. Jesus Christ. Do you think you get those kind of gains in two months behind bars? You're out of your fucking mind.

This is compelling. Oh, you should see me from behind just a mess all right so now we've seen the positives next slide steroids increase skin cancer risk if you guys don't know kyle recently had a bout with skin cancer yeah it's funny see good shit yeah new resource supports earlier linking steroid use to non-melanoma type skin malignancies which is what he had next slide it's not all bitches and hot tubs babies and yeah so steroids stimulate the growth of certain cancers and they enhance other medical problems too next slide performance enhancing drugs they cause hair loss hair loss antibiotic steroids and hair loss these things

link together next slide look at me oh my god what do you look like that elon musk picture that was when i went to the black barber. The one on the left. Straighten me up. He went to a black barber and the black barber quote, squared him up. Look at the look on Woody's face. And the one where he looks disgusted.

He's got the N word on his lips. What happened to your hair, Woody? He looks disgusted. He's got the N-word on his lips. It's a sad day. What happened to your hair, Woody? That... The great hairline, the once great hairline is no more. So what are people saying? They're saying, oh my God, muscles are off the charts.

They're saying Woody's bald. And they're saying the other two are getting cancer shortly. I rest my case. I'm afraid because you made a great point. I've, I've, I've, um,

these are real people. Wendy writer, Ronnie reader, Abby author. These, uh, these are reliable sources. Oh, Abby author. There's, there there's i didn't realize that there were there were excerpts from fictional people

actual writers talking about us i didn't think that i thought these were just points that he had made like like little bullet points i didn't realize i didn't see the fucking that ronnie reader from the nyc had given a quote. I thought this was just a Woody quote. The word of the episode. Apparently, this is salient. Woody, I like it. I heard you use that word before my PowerPoints came up, and I was like, maybe Taylor's vocabulary is rubbing off on me.

That's quite a long road to talk about how muscular you and Taylor are, Woody. Making a whole comedy bit. That's a humble brag. Putting your thighs in our face. Again. Hilarious. Now you're going to know that me and Woody collabed on this one. Look how jacked I am.

I must be on steroids. You've got that still shot photo of me where I'm leaning forward all awkward and it fucking makes my traps look terrible. Yeah, use that one. And then you guys want us to say, well, let's see your balls because they're probably shrunken and then you whip them out and they're just huge.

Oh, debunked. The large skull size thing was compelling. Let's say that. I think Taylor was stretched in that. Oh, man. People do this thing now on our subreddit where they'll post pictures of me where they will Photoshop my eyes like slightly farther and farther away. I just look absurd.

If you go to Ryan.com slash PKA, it's Kyle, Woody, and then me with like Sid the Sloth. Totally separate. It's amazing how just moving shit a little bit really makes an impact. It's funny. Faces are off.

We're built to like detect like something that's wrong with the other person so we don't breathe with them right so like like if there's some sort of deformity or something you're like oh unclean you see it disgusted by it it's a little weird yeah you'd think an eye looking slightly in a different direction wouldn't be that noticeable, but well, yeah, you do. Yeah. So that brings us alignment to Albert Einstein. So my contention with this conspiracy is not that Albert Einstein was some idiot, some moron.

It's that media and pop culture has turned him into a guy who discovered all of these things around the same time. And yet when you actually do a deep dive on it, you realize that even contemporary scientists, this part isn't a conspiracy at all. Contemporary scientists with Einstein fucking hated him because he had a habit of plagiarizing. He would not give people credit for things that he found out. And so basically the way they describe it is this, is that let's say Kyle, Woody and I are building an obelisk. Right. And Kyle puts a stone down.

Woody puts a stone down. Kyle, Woody, Kyle, Woody. When it gets to the capstone, I put a little capstone on it. And then not only do I say I created the obelisk, I say I own it because I did the last thing on there because he was notorious for not acknowledging prior intellectual people and so here's a bunch of actual examples you can look up people in his time were like fucking pissed about this and it gets buried now in 1878 james maxwell in scotland published special theory of relativity in the Encyclopedia Britannica, which Einstein copied heavily in his own 1905

theory of relativity and did not cite Maxwell. Didn't cite him. Took all the research that Maxwell did 27 years prior, applied it to his own shit. Didn't give him credit. From Maxwell, Epstein also, or I'm sorry, Einstein,

not Epstein. Einstein also, conspiracy.stein conspiracy runs deep pedophile island that is a conspiracy another another key part of relativity was that the idea that speed of light was a constant and was independent of the motion of its source that's something that maxwell wrote about in 1878 and then that Einstein took, co-opted, and pretended he discovered in 1905. Maxwell studied the phenomenon of light extensively and first proposed that it was electromagnetic in nature. He wrote that in 1878, stolen by Einstein. 1898, Paul Gerber in Germany publishes the exact equations in Annalen der Physik, which Einstein published 17 years later in 1915 as his Parahelion Motion of Mercury, with no credit to Gerber, claiming that he was in the dark and he suddenly came to it in his sleep. In 1920, after being pressured on this, Einstein admits to plagiarism.

He admitted to it. He admitted that he took that from Paul Gerber in 1898. admitted that he took that from Paul Gerber in 1898. 1900, Max Planck and Wilhelm Wein of Germany developed the quantum theory which Einstein plagiarized in his light quantum paper in 1905. He did not cite Planck nor Wien, even though later it was clear that he was copy-pasting or whatever the version of that was.

1903. Yeah, 1903. Ointo de Pretto publishes E equals MC squared and Ate, a scientific magazine which Einstein was an avowed avid reader. He later claimed as his own work, and he failed the site to Pretto. Took the E equals MC squared, published it years later, took it for himself. 1905, Albert publishes four groundbreaking essays in the field of theoretical physics. 1905, Albert publishes four groundbreaking essays in the field of theoretical physics. What they don't tell you is that this is stolen from people by the names of James Maxwell, Henrik Lawrence, Joseph Larmer, Olito de Preto, Robert Brown, Ludwig Baltzmann, Frederick Hassanor, and George Fitzgerald. about this years sometimes decades prior and he amalgamated all of their research into an unoriginal piece that he then released without citing any of them and media pop culture grabs

onto that and says oh my god einstein's discovered all this meanwhile lots of concurrent contemporary peers of his are saying what the fuck this was an actual thing in the scientific community at the time you won't hear about now they're dude, Einstein, what the fuck, dude? Like we did all this. Is that? Well, yeah, 1908.

Dude, he does get the first use of the word, dude. What the hell's up with you? You know, cop in my discoveries. It was like, fuck, they were all very, like, this is a real thing scientists hated him because he would never cite people who discovered things he would take it

pretend it was his 1915 eisenstein presents his paper and publishes the general theory of relativity based on the mathematics of marcel grossman and Berhard Reinman from a decade prior. Again, he does not cite these men. It was 1878 that the theory of relativity was first getting put into popular scientific understanding by James Maxwell. These other guys built on it, and Einstein failed to acknowledge any of their contributions, instead doing the thing that lots of scientists accused him of, which was laying a capstone on something and then claiming ownership of everything that came prior instead of doing what most scientists do, which is, hey, I added a little bit here.

Thank you, Weissman, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all of them for it. So a little additional thing, he was apparently so unimpressive as a physicist that he wasn't even consulted in the Manhattan Project. 130,000 people were consulted on the Manhattan Project, and apparently Einstein wasn't up to snuff. Henry Poincaré was the foremost expert on relativity in the late 19th century, and the first person to formally present the theories, having published more than 30 books

and over 500 papers on the topic. Extensive documentation exists that Einstein and his associates have studied Poincaré's theories and mathematics for years. Yet when Einstein published his almost wholly plagiarized work, he made no reference to Poincaré's mathematics. Like I said earlier, a non-comprehensive list of those that's confirmed, absolutely confirmed.

He plagiarized from James Maxwell, Henrik Lorenz, Joseph Larmor, and a dozen others. Uh, in 1895, Einstein failed the entrance exam to an engineering school in Zurich. That's interesting.

I thought he was like a hyper genius. Here's Nikola Tesla on Einstein. Einstein's relativity work is a magnificent mathematical garb which fascinates, dazzles, and makes people blind to the underlying errors. The theory is like a beggar

clothed in purple who ignorant people take for a king. Its exponents are brilliant men, but they are metaphysicists Do you know that while he was doing all these things, he worked as a clerk in a patent office? He worked as a clerk in a patent office, a third-level clerk. Throughout years and years there, they never promoted him. They never made him any more significant. He was a third-class clerk at a government office in Bern, never progressed beyond this level with even years of experience. By all contemporary reports, Einstein wasn't even an accomplished mathematician. It has been well documented that much of the mathematical content of Einstein's so-called theories were well beyond his ability. stated that Einstein's first wife, Mileva Marek, was a Serbian physicist who had helped him with his math. Other prominent scientists have made the claim that his wife did a lot of his math for him. In 1907, Einstein admits to plagiarism. In a paper he wrote in 1907, in part responding to

already virulent accusations of plagiarism, Einstein declared that plagiarism was perfectly acceptable as a form of ethical research, stating, quote, the nature of physics is that what follows has already been partly solved by the authors. I am therefore entitled to leave out a thoroughly pedantic survey of the literature, end quote. In other words, the scientists all built on each other's work. So Einstein could freely compile the work of everyone before him and represent it as his own with no obligation to even mention them or their work. His view of ethical science was like building a tower where each person adds one stone. And if I had the last stone, I'd only take credit for the entire design

and construction of the tower, but I own the building. Final note, in 1953, Sir Edmund Whitaker published a detailed account of the origin and development of all the theories in equations of his physics with extensive reference to the primary sources, documenting beyond doubt

that Einstein had no priority in any of it and clearly stating so in his report einstein was alive and well when whittaker published his book yet he offered no dispute to the conclusions no refutation of whittaker's claim that he einstein had been irrelevant in the entire process einstein made no attempts at his own defense and hid in the bushes ignoring all accusations amazing man you missed some good parts taylor because i fucking hate einstein not as much as i hate colvin but i fucking hate that clown that bloviating prick he everything he took credit for every everybody's shit and then used it to wax philosophical for the rest of his life here's the best part einstein religious zealot einstein viciously and famously denied the existence or the validity of quantum mechanics

until his death quoting god does not play dice with the universe i'm sorry einstein but what does god have to do with physics oh so i think think he also stole equals MC square from either Lawrence or Dirac Dirac, who is barely functionally autistic, taking advantage of a mentally infirmed man to further his scientific career. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

The reason he was not asked to be in the Oppenheimer to the Manhattan project is because Oppenheimer knew he was a pussy. That's why. And he would never use the weapon that the nuke, that beautiful nuke was intended to be a tactical war battlefield device. And he knew that Einstein would either not support it or give it give it away to the enemy. So he kept him out of it on purpose. Fuck Einstein. So your theory is that the jewish

guy was pro-nazi um no he was he was but he was very left-leaning he was denied security access and all the other scientists were also told not to not to discuss the uh all of the project with einstein i left that one kind of unconvinced it was einstein's letter though that made the manhattan project uh even even happen that's true uh I get that it's like hey we need to you know get a move on this thing because uh Hitler might be doing it um I like it I like what you said but you could do the same thing with Led Zeppelin and old blues singers so Led Zeppelin is the band that just happened to get popular with it. They stole all of it from old black blues singers, and you only wanted Led Zeppelin because they presented it in a better way.

So there's some equity in how you – maybe he was just more entertaining with his wacky hair. Maybe that obelisk, like in a video game where you add on, but it's not real. It's like a framework or lattice work until that last thing is put on, and then it goes, vroom, and now it's one piece. So until you put that last piece on, it's not really a full thing yet, and you do own it after.

And it's my suspicion that you could do that with most scientists, right? Yes. What do I have to credit everyone from Euclid? I looked him up. Muhammad IBM Musa Al-Khawazimi, the inventor of algebra. Yeah, yeah. I went by that radio name back in 1985. Right, right.

It is nearly impossible to credit the entire tower of scientific and mathematic discovery that happened before you got there. See, but I will add to this. There's a very big difference between them citing Euclid and citing someone who made the exact same discovery 27 years prior or 15 years prior or two years prior. But even their arguments were not exact same. It was, hey, he took this, added to it was hey you know he took this added to it and now he gets all this credit for it and to anthony's point there was a whole lot of like well shucks maybe that adding to it was the is the most important it was the thing that that made it a useful science or i don't know so so my i maybe i explained it poorly he wasn't adding to it in the way that you would think he was amalgamating

content your whole theory is based on me understanding amalgamating that's where it falls apart he was the stan lee of physics he was taking bits and pieces of already established science and then reformulating it into something and he would put his take on there and then that's what tesla added to it he would say like a stupid artist would take paints of different color and dab them and make a beautiful paint i get it what What a hack. That's not entirely what I'm saying. He's more like a react video on YouTube.

You watch the movie and then go, whoa, what did you guys think of my react video? Wasn't that entertaining? He's watching The Godfather 2 going, oh, man, wow. Hey, everybody, check this out. Check this out. What did you think of my movie? Look at Tesla's take on him. His take said it better than I could because Tesla was way fucking smarter than me or Einstein.

And he said, basically, he compiled a bunch of information from previous research and then he, on top of that, would add almost sophistry that wasn't falsifiable and wasn't useful that's what tesla's take was oh tesla oh ac is better than dc that guy you know you know tesla died like completely penniless in love with a pigeon right i don't care was it a hotel room in a shitty hotel room in love with a pigeon? You know what a good sign is that someone's a fucking genius is that they die alone in a hotel room in love with a pigeon.

I'm right on target. I feel like Taylor can go either way on that argument. Like that's it. That's the sign of a genius. That's the sign of a moron. Whatever supports his argument. Oh, you're absolutely right. The whole point is to present the argument the way I want to present it.

I enjoyed it, Taylor. You opened too big with the Helen Keller thing, my friend. Yeah, would it have been better to close with Helen Keller? If you closed with Helen Keller, we all would have been considering the other ones, and then Helen Keller would have been like, oh, fuck, of course. I hope everybody's convinced with Helen Keller, we all would have been considering the other ones. And then Helen Keller would have been like, oh, fuck, of course.

Everybody's convinced of Helen Keller, at least. Oh, please. Yeah, I'm convinced of Helen Keller. That one wins for sure. Not only was it pretty entertaining, but I'm pretty sure that she was a retarded person. You convinced Helen Keller the fifth. Yeah. She's like, she watched the show and

said yes fuck her yeah i don't know i'm open to the idea that she was environmentally retarded right like because of a lack of audio and visual stimuli she was never she might not have been born with a broken brain but how could she have developed a fully formed one well Well, retarded doesn't necessarily mean that her brain wasn't functional. It just means she's held back. She's restrained in some way or another. And by that definition, she's retarded. But to not have the input like that, even as a kid watching that movie, as a kid, I would think like, well, how the hell would you know

if someone signs into your hand what they're even trying to reference? You could go like this and go glass and then and then do some kind of letters. But there's no way to really make the connection. There's too many missing parts. You could think like you said, is it like something hard, thin, this like what are you trying to tell me yeah that would let me know that what you're spelling is what this is so yeah

an understanding of meaning right all no way whatsoever and so I'm glad that one resonated oh I love that one this episode being like dude the Helen Keller one isn't going to work very well but the Einstein one that one's going to go good for me. Complete opposite.

Just goes to show. I still think Einstein, you know. What are you going to do? I would never say. He's Einstein. I think it was just a better, he presented it. People, I don't know, did he schmooze with the right people in the media that put him over? Maybe.

And that's part of, you know, that was part of the whole thing, I guess. Here's what it is with me and Einstein. The modern scientists seem to have a lot of respect for him. When you hear Stephen Cox speak, he speaks really highly of Einstein. Stephen Hawking? No, Cox, I think. COX. Do I have his name wrong?

Who's Stephen Cox? Fucking genius, teaches in Englandland or something let me see if porn star of course he was on joe rogan show that's where i discovered it seems like einstein is like the kind of guy who would like those facebook pages that are like i fucking love science his name is brian cox i don't know if that fixes it stars sounds like einstein was no einstein so it sounds like yeah yeah like when you listen to guys like brian cox and i can't name a bunch of modern scientists neil tyson degrasse maybe that's it yeah yeah yeah neil degrasse thanks anthony Yeah, these guys seem to have a lot of respect for Einstein.

Therefore, I do. That's where my thing comes from. But they know who they're talking to. They're smart and they're shamelessly self-promotional. They know exactly the audience. They're not going to get up there and go, hey, by the way, Einstein was an idiot. I just wanted you guys to know.

They're going to go, you know what? Einstein was smart and all of you are smart for thinking he was smart. Now, get out your checkbooks and write by my book that's the plan he's pretty good that's that's a good point they are very self-promoting scientists like if you know a scientist's name he's already a piece of shit self-promoting i can't imagine anyone with no real scientist's name that's a strong point yeah back up there thank you there's someone out there working on a covid vaccine and none of us know yeah yeah no one will ever know he shouldn't have fucking time to tell me his name right he shouldn't be on the jre interviews oh here's the question. If the vaccine comes out,

are you going to immediately sign up and go get it? Hell no. Yeah, they'll pay me $1,200 to take it right now. Like in my county, there's vaccine trials. Righteous bucks. Yeah, and I'm like, I think I'd rather have the disease than a trial vaccine. Okay, I'm not talking about an experimental vaccine that they're paying you to take.

I just took your question to the extreme. If it lets me go back into a bar, I will inject motor oil into my body. I don't care. If I need a vaccination card to get in, man, inject it right up my ass. Do whatever you want. Put it in the middle. I don't give a fuck. yeah i'll probably get it well i bet there's a shortage quickly i bet you get flu shots every year and shit like that my family does i'm inconsistent i didn't get one last year

no i i've never gotten one of the last vaccine or anything that I'm supposed to get was when I was a child. Yeah, polio, diphtheria, and consumption. Jesus Christ. The consumption. No, I think I'm up to date on tetanus, which is good because I do dumb shit sometimes. And like it flew every, it's supposed to be every i don't like a tetanus shot to get it because they give you one anyway when you step on a fucking nail or anything it's like well what the fuck is it what did you give me then is that if i'm gonna get it if you cut yourself every time

in the hospital they go oh here's tetanus shot it's like oh i think i had one or i had one they're like yeah we'll just give you another one that's 86 86. So fuck it. Let's go. Yeah. Not at the hospital. It's probably 8,000. Yeah, this is a big moneymaker, actually. Here you go. Sheet metal business when I was working air conditioning and heating. A lot of cuts on the hands and stuff.

So I got a lot of those. But other than that, the last ones I got, yeah, was that big thing in the arm that leaves the mark and everything. That's the mark of the beast. That's about it, though. I don't like the whole idea of a flu shot. And I know it's silly. I'm sure it's fine.

Taylor, you get a flu shot? No, I never get flu shots. Am I the only one here that gets flu shots? Yeah. I never have. I like being sick, though, sick though you just lay in bed and drink all day that's six some six are pretty good my conspiracy theory was that the coronavirus was the largest dna gathering uh like uh idea in modern history and why didn't you run with that

i couldn't find enough supporting evidence like all i had was that nugget of an idea. Make it up. Make it up. You're swabbing the fucking brains of everybody. They're going up. And you are getting everyone's DNA. I was going to go off on Bill and Melinda Gates. That was my original. I didn't even think of that.

I can't believe that you were going to do the conspiracy thing. And you're like, there's not enough supporting evidence. I dug deep for a lot of this stuff. that you were going to do the conspiracy thing and you're like, there's not enough supporting evidence. Yeah, I'm like, most of my Hitler shit, huh? I dug deep for a lot of this stuff. And some of the sites I went to were outrageous. Absolutely outrageous.

So many of the Einstein things led off with, first of all, he's a fucking Jew! And also... Is that Compound Media? taylor if you think you went to a dark place to find some shit on einstein imagine where i had to go to to disprove the holocaust do you know how many websites i've ended up at that just said if you try and say say Helen Keller is a fraud, you're despicable.

Oh, I bet. There's a lot of those out there. I will not shy away from the truth. I had to make a fucking Proud Boys email account to get into some of these websites. It was scary stuff. The people who, but I pretty, it turns out they were right about that one thing.

When they caught the, what was that guy that they caught up in the um in out west uh because of the the dna tests that or things that everyone is uh sending in their dna no it was like the gold coast killer the golden state killer golden state killer one of those guys and they got him because they had the killer's dna but nothing to cross-reference it with. So they went to that 21andMe or whatever. 23andMe. Sorry.

How many chromosomes? 46. 23andMe. 24andMe. 24andMe. Jesus. I love that one. 24andMe.

Yeah. 23andMe. And then law enforcement could access that. And when they found a match to the Golden State Killer guy, they knew that whoever

matched it was some type of family member. So they worked from there and caught him. Now, if you're jamming swabs up everyone's fucking nose and sending it in, and there's lines of people doing this, can't you make a database of that and use that for whatever the fuck you want?

Find people, catch people. Not only that, it's not even as nefarious as crimes or anything. Just to focus on the medications you sell people. Oh, we did a DNA test on this guy and other tests. And this guy is more susceptible to certain diseases, heart disease. So let's focus him with ads for a heart medications or this or that.

Like that's what they're fucking doing with 23 and me. You don't think they're swabbing people's noses and going, Oh yeah, you're negative for COVID. Let's just throw this in the furnace. No, they're going to use it. I would have went with that one. I would have been on the fence with

Helen Keller and that. If I knew my audience, if I knew my audience a little better, I might have gone with one. I had another one that President Trump is at war with a global cabal of powerful Satan-worshipping elites who control the world and run a child sex ring. And I thought...

That's a conspiracy? I thought it's supposed to be a conspiracy. My title page was hilarious. The sun will come up tomorrow. That's mine. The sun will rise. My opening title page I thought was hilarious. Woody, an expert on child traffic rings.

You're behaving as though this isn't entirely establishable within the convention of reality. This is nonsense you're saying right now. Just follow the money. I was going to do the birther thing with Obama. I was going to say that Obama was not a u.s citizen i thought that one might have been interesting that's a good one yeah that's a good one too sure there's a lot of stuff out there that you read and go but you know then it turns out it's photoshopped or i was gonna go that michelle obama was actually a man my mom my mom's like is a an honest true believer in michael i love that one hey

hey mike check mike out in this picture and a dick is swinging in the video i was trying to convince my mother that she was um like predisposed to believe bad things about the uh the the obamas and she's like no no that's not true. I'm fact-based. I know. And I'm like, you literally thought Michelle Obama was a man. And she's like, yeah, that's still true. I still do. And I still do. Imagine how

earth-shaking it would be if one day they're like, if Obama's like, well, you discovered me, and I'm actually a man. And my wife is a man yeah yeah okay doesn't matter i'll suck her cock the same way she does mine they'd be like he's so brave they're so brave to come out with this that can't be true because that conspiracy theory depends on genders existing

that is yeah that's a social that's a good conspiracy theory that genders exist yeah of course they yeah i think obama likes attention too much to not admit that michelle is a man because everyone would love like first gay president and first black president bitch like oh come on oh dude if he nailed down both of those titles yeah that'd be pretty fucking good first nonaming the country after that. First non-American president as well? Oh, dude. Yeah, exactly. All those

plaques on his wall. He'd have a mate himself. That's a one-off right there. Who was that? Chrissy Teigen? What's her name? Is it Teigen? Yeah. It is Teigen, right? And her and her and John Legend, her husband. There was a clip that I just saw the other day of them talking on a red carpet event.

And they asked her, like, what's the strangest sexual thing you've done together? And they're kind of looking at she said, well, there's the Obama thing. And John Legend just lost his mind. He's he's like oh we're not talking about that we're not talking about that and it really seemed like they had had some kind of a foursome together with the obamas oh i thought obama thing was an act i hadn't heard of oh like oh the obama is that the donkey punch or the angry pirate, the dirty Sanchez. I know all these. Yeah. So something was going on there recently, but the Obamas have always been very, I mean,

I know nothing about the Obamas. It's an amazing thing that they were president. He was president for eight years and I really don't know anything about their family, what did with how they came up where they were born raised and all that shit i know nothing about it we know everything about stupid kennedys and shit like that you saw all the stuff where well i remember like not liking is when they're like malia or i don't remember what his daughter's names are but uh malia and malia his name is they're like malia obama is smoking pot yeah yeah and it's like dude she's fucking 17 yeah of course she's smoking weed 19 i no i think she was like it's like 20 or something at the time and it was like settle the fuck down come on like it wasn't even the weed part it was like she was with a dude and the secret service is there and that's got to be like that kid has got to be the

fucking coolest shit ever i'm fucking the daughter of the president that is awesome bedroom no less bedroom you're fucking like dog and the president's daughter has got to just be one of the biggest things you could do i pounded his daughter in that giant taft bathtub oh yeah yeah the stinky fucking mildewed white house she was 19 when she smoked i was curious all right it's legal that's enough but like taft cool as shit being so out that you get trapped in a bath and then the response to it isn't i should eat less

it's build a bigger bath i fucking love that about taft which one showed his dick to everybody was it lbj yeah i i knew it was johnson i just didn't want to call it johnson but johnson of course. Yeah.

Apparently, he showed his dick to everyone. He was very proud of it. Apparently, it was ginormous. He had his tailor build special pants for his giant dick. For his big dick? Yeah. Wow. That's awesome.

That's a good dick. The Saturn V rocket was designed after his cock. Actually, NASA. Now we know he's circumcised. We are going to put a man on the moon on LBJ's dick and do those other things. Not because his dick is soft, but because it's hard. That would be another good conspiracy to do is the uh the kennedy shit like the oh is it a little

obvious it's been done to death yeah it's done to death i think the bottom line after everything i've heard is yeah there's shenanigans in play but you know who knows yeah i think something something different than the official story. Jack Ruby killing him? Yeah. It just was crazy. What was his actual? Jack Rubenstein fucking murdering that guy? What the fuck was up with that?

It's like, here we are parading the murder of the president through a parking garage. Would anybody ever just walk the fuck in? Isn't it amazing how that used to be? Well, yes, but I feel like now with epstein same thing yeah you know yeah that guy just got killed like this guy had the keys to the kingdom he was the center of a big conspiracy and then he died where he shouldn't have and godfather too uh who is it michael corleone said that if history has proven anything it's that you can kill anybody and it's so fucking true it's been proven that's why i said that if if we got a month left to the election and all this shit fails i i there someone's at least going to take a shot at the

fucking guy what's the name of the epstein chick glean maxwell glean i think it, I guess. Yeah. I wonder what we get out of her. I don't think we're going to get anything. If you've looked at stories, I guarantee if you've looked into Galene Maxwell, she's the daughter of Robert. Well, and Robert Maxwell was one of the most prolific Mossad agents of all time. He was actually a double agent with the UK back in the forties and fifties.

He had a lot to do with the formation of in the 40s and 50s. He had a lot to do with the formation of Israel as a state. And so she clearly just worked with Mossad. And I believe Mossad worked with the CIA. Mossad is Israel's intelligence, like CIA. Our CIA is obviously our CIA. And so I think Mossad and the CIA work together with Ghislaine Maxwell Jeffrey Epstein all of them in order to entrap powerful people and get them to do what they want that seems to be the most logical thing especially given the fact that

she comes from a family of Mossad agents like it's so you think even now she still wouldn't break that because it could still be used against these powerful people so she's not going to say anything she's fucked she will not be allowed to say a single

thing like if like why can't you say hey Tom Hanks here's a some video with Tom Hanks having some sex on pedophile not my first guess part of the it just popped in my head wouldn't that just destroy all your faith in humanity if Tom Hanks turned out to be a real

scummy fucker just a piece of shit I think it would give me some like if Tom Hanks was a piece of shit you know what there's hope for me after all alright Tom Hanks is a pedophile I'm gonna wake up tomorrow

with a shine and a little jump in my step. Tom Hanks. Everybody hear that? If it comes out, I'm not Tom Hanks. Really, yeah, that's what it seems to be. It seems to be

a psyop to get people to implicate themselves in crimes and then have it feed held to the fire. So now she's just a person who knows some information, but other people know it. So if she spills the beans on these people, it kind of ruins the ability to still use these high-profile people. And why would she do that?

There are clearly some people. My prediction would be is that they will do the same thing like with the Netflix documentary on Epstein, where they try and make it seem as though Epstein, Ghislaine, whatever, Ghislaine, they're all atomized individuals just doing something on their own. Right, crazy on their own. It will never implicate a larger organization in it. And the fact that authorities now entirely control what Ghislaine is able to say means that we'll never actually know what she has to say. We'll never fucking know.

Here's the thing. That is true. There are clearly people in powerful positions who are not in on the jig, right? We're not in on the conspiracy. If that wasn't true, she wouldn't be arrested right now. She wouldn't be on trial right now. They wouldn't be trying to get information out of her she'd be scott free and okay so somebody is acting honestly right someone is trying to get to the bottom of this and i won't deny that there's

probably people trying to make sure they don't get to the bottom of it but let's watch how it plays out well let's see but i don't see it was also arrested i'm sorry you could say that again taylor it was cut off sorry you could have said the same thing about Epstein. Yeah, I think it's still true. Oh, you know, he's been arrested and this and that. And oh, all the cameras failed. Do we need to look at the photo of the cop murderer that they put in the cell with him?

That horrifyingly large individual. He's talking about on steroids, yeah. That guy was so scary. That guy was so scary that guy was so scary so taylor i agree with what you're saying except i don't think that you've countered my point like there are people in on it and people who aren't in on it if nobody i'm sorry if everybody was in on it he'd have never been in jail somebody was trying to get to the bottom of this Epstein thing, and then somebody else made sure he died. I think it's more of a problem of public perception, where once the public was aware enough to the behavior that was going on on this island, it became inevitable for the powers that be to arrest him and hold him. Whereas if it didn't become a large story, most of the elite, I think, are in on this kind of devious shit.

Or even if they're not in on it they're aware of it you can keep this shit hidden though in in conspiracy land of of you know reddit and other places where you have enough plausible deniability epstein had enough plausible deniability what was the final straw that went all all right, we got to arrest you? It was nothing worse than shit he had walked for already. If they wanted to just disappear Epstein, they never would have arrested him, made him get all over TV, put him in jail with the cameras. And he was a real problem that they had to solve. There was an easier way to solve that problem. If they wanted to disappear him without the appearance of impropriety, what they would do is arrest him and then have him kill himself in prison

because then there's plausible deniability about saying that you did arrest this individual and you're going to hold him accountable for crimes. Oh, my God, he killed himself and all the information he had is gone. So that's exactly what they would do if they were trying to make it look as though any bit of impropriety was not there. That's exactly what they would do. If they were truly trying to get to the bottom of it, they would let him take the stand. They would let him accuse people, but they won't. The woman will not accuse anyone.

She'll be threatened with death. Her family will be threatened with death like that's the way it's going to be we're not going to get to the bottom of this do you notice how fast that story left the mainstream media how quickly mainstream how quickly it was like this person's being arrested because they're pedophile fucks also uh uh trump is russian asian let me respond to that point you made because i i don't want to talk over you because it silences you but i also the point i appreciate it I don't want to talk over you because it silences you, but I also the point. I appreciate it.

If they wanted to get rid of Epstein without the appearance of impropriety, he would have just drowned on his own. He would have just had a car accident on his own. I think it's way less sketchy. Those things happen all the time. His plane could have gone down. There's a lot of shit that could have just ended. It probably would have barely made the news. Yeah.

But for him to get arrested, for all this news to come out, then all the photos surface, and then he's in jail, and they have to disable the cameras and put them the weird guy. And the police, I'm sorry, the correctional officers have to be asleep and unqualified and this and that. And like they did it the hard way and the visible way. The easy way way dude drowned on his island not even in america just done but it was it was an independent story that broke it and forced the hand of the powers that be to do this to epstein it wasn't cnn fox msnbc it wasn't one of them that forced the hand of people it It's so easy to discredit. Like, fucking, what? They're going to arrest the Wayfair president

now because that story came out? It's like, you could discredit these things. I hear Wayfair, but I'm not up to date on it. It's so weird. Yeah, you take it, Ant. It's, you know, Wayfair, you buy and sell. You buy things.

Is it like Amway? No, it's kind of like, Wayfair, you buy and sell. You buy things. It's online. Is it like Amway kind of? No, it's kind of like, what would you call it? Like just an online place where you can buy shit. Just to Amazon. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, something like that. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And there are some items there that were just ridiculously overpriced for what they were. You buy these industrial shelves, and it was $50,000 or $30,000, and one left. And the name of the item was the same as a missing child. Yeah, you would look these things up and go,

oh, it's an Emily whatever shelves. And then you look up Emily whatever, and it's like, oh, this girl's been missing for a while. Oh, you missed the best part. Like, the items were the same. They got like 30 of the same

shelves. They've all got different names, though, and they're different prices. Yeah, different names though and they're different prices yeah different prices same shelves different names different but all ridiculously jacked up emily must have been a fucking smoke show is all on yeah yeah you would say like emily shelves seventeen thousand dollars samantha shelves fourteen000. And I'm like, you can't even buy it. Like that's less than what a new Mustang costs.

Like, like let's go. Yeah. Where could I get this? Yeah. But that was, and then here's the oddest part for six years before you can sell them. Here's the weirdest part of the whole thing is the fact that the media won't touch it.

And I don't even mean the media going, wow, there's child. They're being sold on Wayfair. Just go like, hey, this has been making the rounds. The Wayfair thing. Send a journalist out. Let's investigate it. See what it's all about. And then go on and say, hey, we checked this out.

It turns out to be a hoax or or or or they go oh my god there's children being sold but they don't even touch this shit pizzagate was the same thing pizza i want pizza we love pizza i have pizza on my chest a fucking pizza's fucking at my house tonight but it was so weird these things i mean no one looked into it even to say that hey it's it's it's fake it might be that you can't sell ads on your expose into child slavery porn rings like even making fun of the wayfair one i don't know if i don't know if like c uh cbs could run jag ads right after their expose day on so we looked into this goofy child rape thing good point but it doesn't mean it's not true it doesn't mean it is true i get that but it doesn't mean

it's not true just because they won't fucking cover it because of you know a sponsor not wanting that kind of material on but you would think a real journalist a woodward and bernstein kind of motherfucker would want to go out and go i'm gonna check this out i'm gonna look deep and see what the fuck this is about because it's just too odd of a thing and i'll come back and sit down and go here's our story on the way for a thing it's all bullshit uh we looked into it and a hacker did this or that but but to just leave it and go we're not even gonna look at it is a weird fucking thing i agree with you i'm it is i'm looking at it people like i think it's getting

debunked like i don't know there's one thing i found on wusa it's getting debunked by wayfair i love that when they go well that's been debunked by who joe biden so this is about so what they say is like some things are impossible to debunk right like like it's just impossible to see that this existed or didn't exist yeah but other stuff is verifiably debunked like they're like hey this pillow was ten thousand dollars and his name was samantha so it's this girl well it turns out that girl was found like six years ago so oh yeah they're not selling her and then there's case after case after case like you know this one i forget what the name of it was but some other like little girl's name

and they're like that girl was actually only missing for one month you know she was found right away only a month well oh sorry we put the ad in she got away so that was like but it was like a while ago like like you know they they act like they're these kids are missing but it's not there and why are they even named after these and why is it why is there a ten thousand dollar pillow like what is the explanation like all of it that's what i mean just at least look into it and say there's something fucking weird here yeah this is the kind of shit and like i can just do a little longer so wayfair i guess debunk some of it i I know. But they call out that Wayfair didn't address the seemingly strange high price points. And I'd like them to.

I'd like them to explain why they have $10,000 pillars. Yeah, that's a little ridiculous. I looked up, you know, I look at some expensive stuff occasionally. I was looking at what Jorge Masvidal's fucking robe costs. It's like $600. It's not $10 like six hundred dollars it's not ten thousand fucking dollars i was trying to buy one of manix's jackets from the manix tv show back in the 70s uh 1200 bucks yeah yeah oh yeah i've done the same thing i uh there's a i can't remember the name of the website where you can buy those movie props but i really wanted uh from the first alien movie i wanted of those Nostromo jackets that they wore.

Awesome. It was a little expensive. I didn't buy it. But still, nobody's selling $12,000 pillows. I don't care. There's no brand in the world that does that. Yes, there is. They're made right here in my home state of Minnesota.

They're machine washable and dryable. I live in the Baja. You know that I was a Navy SEAL. I heard a Navy SEAL. I was a governor. I was a governor. And I can't fucking compete with Anthony. Why won't they let me on to Plum Island? You made the dude's face a little bit like it.

And he goes, yeah, he's a little man. That little mannerism, I love that one. I'm just a governor looking for answers. Like Nixon's buff nephew or something. That guy's such a goofball. nephew or something. That guy's such a goofball. Oh, yeah. For the Wayfair thing,

I think it's like Amazon uses high prices instead of making things go out of stock. For a number of catalog reasons, they don't lose the URL. If Google knocks it out of the index or stuff like that, usually it's an algorithm gone wrong if it has one item left and a $10,000 pillow.

That makes sense. Easy for them to explain, too. algorithm gone wrong if it has one item left and a $10,000 pillow. That's what I've seen. Yeah. Easy for them to explain, too. That's never happened on Amazon once. It has. That's on Amazon, yeah. It does happen on Amazon because the ASA gets compromised and they have to maintain their spot

with the algorithm of Amazon, but it does not explain why they haven't addressed the prices and they haven't addressed the prices and they haven't addressed the fact that these names are on there. Yeah. Why is there a Samantha cabinet? Why is there an Emily cabinet? Where's,

why is there Cassandra? Frankly, it seems like the serious shit you would handle on the dark web anyway, not on like an open website where anybody can go to it. Hiding in plain sight, my friend. The reason is because Breaking Bad, everybody wants more Breaking Bad

so now they want to find it on their own like that whole Los Pollos Hermanos and Madrigal and a giant global corporation doing illicit shit. They're like, oh, Breaking Bad did it so I think Wayfair's, I'm pretty sure they're doing it too. Everybody's doing it. McDonald's is selling crack in their Happy Meals, I know it.

If you burn the box and then you can freebase the ashes of a Happy Meal toy and get high on it. I know it. That's true. I think as long as people are distracted by shit that is absolute bullshit, they won't report it as bullshit. So people just keep going at it. It gets that many people out of the way of the real shit that's going on so you can even make the conspiracy the conspiracy that that you know they don't want people poking around the real shit so let them bite on this wayfair thing for a

while fuck it it might keep them out of the covid shit so who the fuck knows i definitely think you're right there in that a lot of the conspiracy community from what i've found out from from just doing independent looking into it plus what we do here where we joke around about them real conspiracies fucking exist like if you if you don't think that groups of powerful people conspire together in order to achieve a given goal, you're a fucking retard and there's no saving you. Obviously, they do. We see that all the time. That's why they had to fix price fixing with companies because of shit like that, because they conspire.

And so obviously, this shit happens. It's just a matter of which ones are actually slipping through the goalie and that are real and which ones are the nonsense that we're supposed to latch on to so you think there's intentional red herrings is that what i'm hearing yeah yeah it seems like something why would you do that there in order to discredit any kind of conspiracy because you even know woody kyle dick ant like you all know when something is labeled the conspiracy theory you have an inherent bit of distrust, right? Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

That's what powerful people would prefer, right? To, to muddy the waters with a bunch of nonsense so that you can't actually discern what's actually happening. Like that's, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that was the whole, that was the whole Genesis of, of us doing the, uh, like conspiracy theories on here. It was like finding some that we legitimately think have some truth to them while at the same time being kind of silly,

you know, but you know, and before we did it, we like listed all those conspiracies that turned out to not be theories anymore, but just conspiracies like drop the theory off the end, stuff like the Gulf of Tonkin and, um,

uh, that, that, that whole thing where they were, um, stealing bodies to irradiate them, uh, during the Manhattan project and that thing where they were stealing bodies to irradiate them during the Manhattan Project. And that thing where they were spraying the gas on the people in California. Like there's been lots of human experiments.

The Tuskegee experiment where they were infecting all those black airmen with like syphilis or something. I remember that one. Well, I wasn't there, but I've heard of it. I think I was there. Yes, I remember that part. This is literally a thing. Army scientists secretly sprayed all of St. Louis in the 50s

with a bunch of shit. That explains a lot. Hammer murders on the rise in the 1950s. Signs justs enormous heads they just got a kid in there they hadn't won a hockey championship for 70 years well they did that before the blue team yes taylor if i've learned anything about reparations is that you don't have to be there for it to impact you it has long lasting effects

it's true that should have been your conspiracy theory I'd have loved to hear a well-to-do middle-aged white man explain why that's all nonsense middle-aged, I'm 29 no, this actually is

I couldn't do this one because it's not an experiment the army came clean and admitted they did it which yeah this is the tuscan i can't pronounce no no this isn't the tuskegee st louis experiment they sprayed a lot of st louis with chemicals to see what would happen oh yeah oh the military did a lot of fucking pretty heinous shit. I wonder if they still are. Maybe. I think I live farther enough away that I won't be impacted, hopefully. I mean, just like what kind of shit is the military doing now? Are they running testing on soldiers?

Are they running testing on populations? I want to know what fucking China is up to right now in secret. I want to know what kind of human fucking like are they making supermen like like for real like what if they're making supermen right now when i was a kid that's what they said about russia that they were making super soldiers and genetically engineering people for it yeah yeah i don't buy it anymore what about their like drago from rocky four exactly they're going full rocky four on us i must break you so good fucking dolph lundgren dolph lundgren looks like somebody's fucking science experiment he still look good he still looks good doesn't yeah yeah he still looks good yeah he don't look too bad creed two dude stallone looks great i saw an interview with stallone's doing like youtube videos

and uh he's got like the full white hair but he's got all of it like slight like combed back and uh he sounds like he's he's more he's more uh he speaks better now than he didn't like 40 years ago like he seems like he's more with it or something like that it's it's pretty entertaining he's got little tiny lips now like on his face i saw the last rambo and his lips are getting like tinier and tinier every movie he does like little tic tacs and he's huge he's fucking huge he's still like gigantic he's been jacked for fucking decades amazing some of these guys they just have stayed amazing in amazing shape for so long yeah i i forget what i saw i mean it was

like a youtube video or something a guy was doing i don't know how to describe it they weren't pull ups but like his chin was above the bar and then he was kind of i think kyle saw it maybe like he's going forwards and back like he's yeah in the pull-up position and then he goes forwards and back and stallone it took him like a couple days to get the knack of it to maybe get those smaller muscles strong again and then he's doing it at 70 something it looked amazing and he's not a light guy he's not like he's not like 150 pounds 70 year old he's probably fucking yeah i mean he is a shorter guy but still he's just jacked he's covered in muscle he's a big fucking dude he's he's he's a juicer though oh yeah of course yeah yeah he would be on hga you can't yeah he got caught going into

australia once with age yeah you can't be that age and and just through working out and eating get muscle mass like that just doesn't happen no you just lose it at that age something or whatever yeah yeah 70 like that's like if he was 50 something you'd think well yeah maybe one tenth of one percent of the population looks great at 50 yeah uh but 70 there's no zero percent chance that you still look good even like but when i was a kid is it jack lillane do you remember that guy he was like swimming and pulling boats and shit he didn't look like stallone he didn't compare no oh he wasn't even in shape he's just a regular guy doing now we're gonna do jumping jacks let me tell you what i saw fucking last night so there's this uh i all the networks are trying to come up with some goofy fucking show since everybody is sitting at home.

And it's one of these like physical competition shows that The Rock hosts. It's his show I guess. And you go – it's called Mount Olympus. And they have like – it's like a 1v1 ninja warrior type competition where the two contestants race alongside each other. And it's hard stuff. It's not like the acrobatics type stuff. It's like drag this 250-pound ball across the floor. It's like pick up this 240-

Like the old strongman competition? Yes. It's a lot like a strongman competition, but it's a circuit of these, like one after another. And they're racing alongside each other. So they have this school teacher from Tennessee or something. I don't know. He had a mullet and a serious southern accent versus Tyron Woodley, former champion of the UFC.

The white 5'9 school teacher stomped his ass. It wasn't even close. He's running up a ramp carrying a 240 pound log like like like like this like like hugging it and lifting it and tyron woodley is looking up at him like the fuck oh shit wasn't even close tyron gave up like a third of the way through it just like most of his fights that's not true yeah and tyron woodley is uh even amongst ufc fighters he's a specimen that stands out he he looks very uh very good uh i thought his uzman fight he looked like shit i thought his last fight he looked like shit too i'm glad to see his decline i've always

despised him i thought he's a terrible terrible champion and a super boring guy to watch fight and super arrogant he's like he was calling out racism for the reason he wasn't get paid what he gets paid when there's like tons of black champions and black like superstars who get tons of money and from from various nationalities and ethnic backgrounds the ufc is not good anything it is the opposite of prejudice in any way like whether you're you're you're whether you're gay or black or whatever if you're good and entertaining you get money we're retarded we learned that earlier

put the asses in the seat Anthony nailed it not to go deep into UFC talk but the UFC rewards the UFC rewards putting butts in seats and fighters want to get paid on how well they win how often they win

fights the ufc is like yeah i don't make money off one fights i make money off kind of a name charisma some kind of fucking gimmick whatever it is that gets sells tickets that's all they give a fuck about i don't want to do ufc talk either but quickly um did you see the pay-per-view by numbers between this event and last event no the last event was amanda nunez headlining the card i want to say it was 90,000 buys 90,000 this one obviously jorge mazdal uzman 1.3 million i knew that number. Wow. Yeah. So the thing is 1.3 is amazing, amazing. Like Connor in his peak was getting like two. And that was before there was this ESPN Plus deal where you had to pay $6 a month to ESPN for the privilege of paying $65. It's a pain in the ass.

You're right. And it's expensive. And if you're like me, you have kind of a natural aversion to signing up for monthly shit. Do you want to buy this? $6 a month. How do you cancel it?

You'll remember. My whole company is based on that, and I hate it. Yeah. So nowadays, pay-per-view numbers are much lower. you can't compare the last year and a half two years to prior to that 1.3 was a good number in any era it's it's masvidal's selling i bought it i bought it too by the way if you want to save money in the future buy the amazon coins uh if you

buy enough amazon coins for two cards, you save like $30. How does that work? I've never heard of an Amazon coin. Oh. It just gives me an option to pay with Amazon coins whenever I'm buying my pay-per-views. Is that what William Devane sells on Fox News?

It is not. No? Alex Jones actually sells the amazon it's a talisman now you need my coins and my bone broth those are what you need and you also to get an old one you need to get your neck thickening agent it'll make you red it'll make you big it'll make you red. It'll make you big. It'll make you hard. It'll make you as big as you can be. Also, don't look into any of the claims I've

made in the past 15 years. The globalists have removed all sources that I used for those claims. What if they were removing his sources? What if they were? What if he was on to something like one-tenth of the time and they were like, oh shit.

You know what I did find? If you search for like, Albert Einstein is a fraud on Google, you will only get stuff about how it's debunked. If you go to Bing, you'll get the organic results. And I thought that was funny. Same thing with the

Holocaust. i had such a hard i had to i had to go to bing to like get like the truth shit oh good changes even should run with that they should just be like a conspiracy right wing search engine advertise on alex corona is a hoax bring.com I'm telling you even Helen Keller stuff you go on Google and you try and search it you get a curated list of sources you go on Bing and it's like

you actually get with the highest ranking this piece of shit Helen Keller is the first thing that comes up what I was searching with retard bitch idiot. I could say all this right to her face and she would know what the fuck was going on. Oh, fuck.

What? What are you saying to me? What did you call me? Like this on my face. She's not going to have a fucking clue what I'm saying. You just like point your finger at herself and then dump a load of shit in her hand.

You're fucking shit. What is it, Alan? It's shit. She learns to communicate through sense of smell. How's your sense of smell it didn't get to this point but one of my evidences of helen keller was just going to

be to link you guys a video and be like she's clearly retarded she's clearly a retarded person she would have to be i i don't know if i made my point well before but it's like even if her brain wasn't born dysfunctional without potential it wasn't nourished yeah it's not getting the yeah input yeah my mom's an empty hard drive my mom's a teacher and she has seen those environmentally retarded kids who just like grew up with like dumb dumb parents who didn't like talk to them at all and now they're retarded, and they'll never be the same again. If they had been fostered in an educational environment, okay, you could work at Walmart, Billy. But instead, they grew up absolutely malnourished mentally.

Yeah, it's so interesting. There's a specific amount of time that a child has to learn the basics, and a parent has to be very nurturing and fostering, and they have to learn things by touch and smell and all their senses. And if they don't in that really limited amount of time, they're going to have all kinds of developmental problems later. So, you know, you got to get in there early with that shit. I have some expertise.

I have a special needs son. And he had like a big language delay. So we spent like our whole lives erasing the clock, you know, trying to get him to certain language. Right, right. Those what are they called? Landmarks. Yeah, yeah. You know, because whatever.

He turns 21 and you can't expect a lot of speech improvement after that yeah yeah that's it's such an odd fucking amazing thing how that works you know it's just goop why does the time matter right yeah it's a big load of goo it's not a fucking computer with a timer and a circuit stops it's just goo and what's so special about language you could learn something. If you had to learn, I don't know, a new city or something, you'd be fine. But you can't learn a language? I don't know.

Like a language. And that's the weirdest thing. Like children learn their basic language without a book, without just hearing shit. And then you could spend a year in fucking France. You're not learning French. I don't think without a book or something, just hearing shit, I don't think you'd learn it. It's neuroplasticity.

There's a point at which your brain becomes less receptive to receiving that kind of input. And it's much younger than we would think. And so when I wrote that keller was not environmentally retarded she didn't come from a bunch of like like a retarded family she came from a very rich family like i said but she had a disease at 19 months that knocked out those senses was it scarlet fever that is literally what they said it was yeah i had scarlet fever at two years fever um you did yeah when the fuck were you born in 1873 christ no oh my goodness oh yeah we had the dysentery what the fuck is the

b plague i can't think of its name the bubonic plague that's what i'm going for i was trying to avoid the embarrassment of calling it the bulimic plague. I couldn't get past it. I'm stuck on. A squirrel with a bubonic plague was just found in Colorado. Colorado, they just found a squirrel with a bubonic plague. I read that was normal, though. I don't think it's that big a deal, though.

I think the bubonic plague is totally curable with antibiotics. It's not a big thing anymore. Yeah, yeah. Penicillin. But they're like, oh, squirrel has it. So we're all supposed to lose our fucking minds. But I think squirrels have it a lot. I've read squirrels have it a lot.

I have to check my sources. Yeah. It's like the year of the shark. I don't remember this. I don't know. Seven years ago. Awesome. Sharks were fucking everywhere. The East Coast. Every time there's a bite. the shark i don't remember this sometimes like i don't know seven years ago the awesome sharks

were fucking everywhere the east coast every time there's a bite they're made the time magazine is covering it the year there turns out that was about a normal year for sharks it was just a media creation it's how they present it and that might be with everything they do with everything every fucking thing media has the unique ability to construct narratives wherever they see fit like they they can just do it they can just create the shit out of people make them do things which is exactly what i think this code thing is but whatever whatevs well i don't know that's like we're talking about the media pumping up this fraud Einstein. Or that fucking retard Helen Keller.

Or that fucking retard Helen Keller. She can go fuck herself. Well, not really. She can't go fuck herself because she was a retard. Her hands work fine. I would just lay my dick in her hand and tell her to read the fucking Bible or something. She's just going like this. She's going to rail this. She's like,

rail off your cock. Yeah. What if, what if that, like, her communication style gave her this, like, extra dexterity, and she gave great hand jobs.

Oh, a Helen Keller hand job. Even her hand is fucking retarded, and she's doing shit. She doesn't, she doesn't know what's up i'm done i'm done with helen keller she can go i love this i am gonna fucking i am watching videos i'm doing i am going down the helen keller fucking rabbit hole tonight and you know what the porn killer rabbit hole for me was it was watching videos and being like, this doesn't support my conclusion.

All right. Let me find something that supports. That's my life, by the way. That's my Facebook feed. Let me find something that supports my fucking, yeah. That's Twitter. That's Facebook and everything. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Oh, that agrees with what I think. Yeah. It's like, she learned by blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, this shit ain't funny. Who cares? No. I'm out of here.

I posted something to my own Facebook that just, I choose to believe it's true. So I was like, I'm going to do what everyone else does. That 19-year-olds are wearing masks and makeup and using walkers to get alcohol. They're pretending to be like grandparents. I am so buying that that's hilarious that's really funny i like why wouldn't you do that right that is so good well i just want three handles of new amsterdam exactly that i love the theory yes i'm an 85 year old woman and i like three handles of cheap vodka it's like

you clearly don't but that's good that's good i'm glad you're taking advantage of this having a good time yeah what's one of those one of those stupid vodka can spritzer things white claw white claw i need some white claws if you're right what's a white claw is that a vodka water is it it's like a uh yeah another one of these specialty little can things it's zima i always just think everything's zima when you get get into that point it's the new fad that's kind of already becoming old dude i like zima as a 21 year old you like zima i everyone seven up b everyone was like zima was the worst thing on earth and i'm like i don't know alcohol fresca like beer's kind of bad zima's you know about the same sugar water how could you not like

it i think beer is great but there were so many things like that, though. Remember Bartles and James was huge for a few years. God, no one fucking Bartles. Who goes into a liquor store? I need some Bartles and James. When I was growing up and when I was a teen, it was like Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill Wine. Boone's Farm. You get that?

And it was strawberry. It was just instant vomit vomit when you drink enough of it you just start puking you really are like 60 years old aren't you oh i am it's terrible yeah oh i relate to some of these there was a beer called peels in my area 24 of them for eight dollars eight dollars for 24 cans of beer that is a deal that's what they used to have meister brow i know these come over to parties and they'd have two six-packs of Meisterbrow, put it in the fridge, and grab a Heineken.

Like, you fucking asshole. I could have finished that story for you. That's exactly what people did. That's what they do. You buy some respectable beer. These scumbags come up with shit. They don't even take them. They put it in the fridge and grab a good beer. And at the end of the night, you got two six-packs

of Meisterbrowns waiting for you. I'll just put mine in there to cool while I drink your Heinekens. Yeah, while I drink your good shit, cheap fuck. I'm gonna kill a motherfucker. Oh, man, that's funny. I knew right where that was going.

Do you want to do the game? Shit, I forgot about the game. Yes. I messaged you a while ago. On what? Discord. I'm using it. I know, that's why I didn't want to answer. I'm so scared.

Oh, I see game, you actually put it there. Do we have to go back to the other chat and copy paste all that stuff over here uh no that's all for woody no um i actually brought it over i think yeah if you guys scroll up there's a there's a red picture and it says don't click on this for it's an upcoming bit oh i saw another picture of redajowski's pussy that's nice oh yeah if you scroll up enough you'll get some vagina let me see is it it's below the vagina and it's it's a guy he's looking in three different directions on a red background can you guys confirm you see it yeah he looks like he's got either too many or too few chromosome. I can't tell. And then...

God, this guy is fucked. God, this guy is fucked. Look at his hair. He needs a makeover, man. They need to straighten his glasses out or crooked his eyes a little bit. Dude, I empathize with this guy because he also struggles from that

thing where glasses aren't big enough for your head so they bow out on the sides and you look retarded. He's a big boy. There's nothing big enough for this fucker's head. He's 6'5", 405 pounds. He probably doesn't like wearing both headphones either. Yeah, this is an earbud kind of guy. Wow, that is a weird looking fuck.

So here's how this game is played you're going to guess the crime that he committed the age of his victim and the sex of his victim i'm going to keep score but the score doesn't matter think of it as like whose line is it anyway it doesn't give me who gives a fuck 405 pounds yeah so so this big boy right here was definitely going after a small child all right because he's too slow for is it definitely a pedophile uh that's my guess okay i thought we were sticking to something but i think that it's guess the offense but i think that if you guess uh some sort of sexual, you'll win most of the time. Yeah.

I think they're all. That's my guess. That's hilarious. Yeah. His name is kid. Is that what we're looking at here? Yeah. Gregory.

Gregory. Gene kid. Sounds like a fucking either an assassin or a pedophile. And I'll give you odds. It's the latter. Okay. So this guy definitely molested like a fucking eight year old or a seven year old.

Someone's very young. And I'm guessing it was a male. I'm guessing he molested a seven, eight year old boy. No, I, I'm getting, I'm getting 12,

13 year old girl vibes from this guy. He never got 90, 90 year old woman from this guy. I'm getting 90. 90-year-old woman he raped. That might be true. Wow. I think he needs a mom. He needs a mom so badly that he went straight to the top. Okay.

He found a gilf for himself. 30 years old. Couldn't handle it. Okay. I will say this guy, yeah yeah molested in some way shape or form uh a oof i i guess i'm gonna go uh nine nine year old girl all right all right i just has that look on his face like anything older is gonna to start to intimidate him by being a little too close to a woman.

Like double digits, double digits might scare him. So I won't play along with this one because I couldn't avoid seeing the answer. But this dude, his victim age was six. His victim sex was female and indecent liberty with a minor i'm calling that molestation what does that mean i missed by three years no he took liberties with her so he did things to her that oh yeah coming don't they call that like rape or assault, though? Rape is only if there's forcible penetration.

Can I have the... My lawyer says... Liberties is fondling, things like that. Let me go for a second. An attempt to take immoral liberties with said child for the purpose of arousal or sexual desire, or commit slash attempts to commit lewd, lascivious acts with the body member of a child under 16 so some sort of touching to a kid i believe that yeah this guy molestation yeah he molested someone he's despicable none of us won unfortunately no i was closest oh it's a mix what did you say he said

six boy diddling of some sort and yeah anth, Anthony said, I think nine girl diddling, like, yeah, hard to do. I said, but I think the age being right on the nose like that is, you know what? Since I've decided I'm giving Anthony and Kyle a point.

Oh, that's fair. That's unfortunate. Yeah. It's true. Carrie, you can do what he wants. That's exactly. And at the end,. You can do what he wants. That's exactly it.

And at the end, if you win, you get nothing. Oh, you got a woman up next. Ooh, okay. Laura C. Anderson, 5'4", 145 pounds, born September 16, 1983. Oh, she's, well, now there's a victim every time? She's a rather good-looking sex offender. I guess I'll say that about her.

I bet she fucked her high school students. Yes! That was my call as well. I think she's a teacher. I think she fucked a 17-year-old boy. Wow. That's my guess. To differentiate it, I'll say

15. I would have gone 15 if I thought about it longer. Jeez. Like I said, it's not always sex, right? Yeah. I want to go young. I'm going to go 14 just to change it because I think 17 might be legal. You undercut me.

Man, I got to say I'm agreeing with Woody and Taylor but I have to go in a different area if I'm going to 17 might be legal. Oh, you undercut me, man. I, I, I gotta say I'm agreeing with Woody and Taylor, but I have to go in a different area if I'm going to secure myself point here. So I'm going to say that there was some sort of abuse against her own child,

probably a young man. And I think it would be more abusive than sexual, but maybe there was a sexual nature to it. I'm going to say she assaulted her own. Maybe that doesn't even matter, but I'm going to say she assaulted a, let's see, she's born in 83.

So that makes her 37, her own like 10, 12 year old boy okay wow dark i think he uh kid okay oh all right i'm gonna go i'm gonna go teach her uh but uh she assaulted um a 17 year old girl oh fucking hell i'm really going way hotter than it should be. Hang on. What'd she do? What was she wearing?

I would say that this bitch sucked a 15 year old's cock. Wow. I don't know which one I like more of these uh i think which one's hotter yeah i like the i like the lesbian stuff but i wish i was that boy all right yeah i'm having moments of clarity where it's like what an absurd podcast we have i think she's she's too hot to be guilty so i think what happened was she probably met a guy at a bar uh they went home he had a he had a little too much

to drink and they had sex but the next day she didn't call him back so he went to the cops and told them that she raped him that's what i think happened here that's a long shot oh that's accusation yeah it happens happens to women all the time so it probably happened to her dude if you're right on that okay oh my god 15 year old boy in decent liberty with a minor wow i think i nailed every part of that yeah yeah that's that's exactly what i said 15 year old boy i think i said every part of that. Yeah. That's exactly what I said, 15-year-old boy. I think I said all three of those things. Yeah.

It just made so much sense. Bravo. Alright. What's she a teacher? She looks like a teacher. She does. There's a Discord link or something to look at, but I didn't look at that. That bad hair and that cheap makeup okay next dude

casey sheridan weiss sure this guy's pretty good looking actually i bet he's not my type oh man well sometimes i use that like like if a guy's 400 pounds and disgusting i i make the victim like have less agency right whereas if the guy could maybe get a girl maybe he just like picked up a 15 year old or something and he's a slide yeah yeah looks like edward snowden a little bit i see it he could definitely like pick up a 15 year old or something who thinks he's cool you know shit like that yeah yep that's that's what i have in my head too so i'm gonna make i'm gonna make her 14 girl sex offense of some sort yeah so he is five foot seven 175 no age on him uh yeah he looks 27 maybe i bet he's in his mid-20s i'm gonna say he molested a girl who was 11 y I'm going to go darker.

I think he molested like an infant, like real tiny, like between. Wow. Yeah, I know, right? Hot. Two to three years old. I was going to go there. I was going to go there. Supple. Yeah.

I was thinking that same thing. He's got like a real kind of weird lifeless dead eye look if he's three yeah he knows it's over is he related like he's not even worried about getting bail because he knows yeah yeah yeah he just knows it's done by like the fucking aryan brotherhood the second he steps into that block yeah this guy's good this guy hung himself as soon as he got bail all right can you say it again um i'm gonna say that he um he molested like a two to three year old girl girl okay uh i'm gonna i'm gonna say a uh five five year old girl uh probably a family member yeah if they're. You wouldn't let this guy around your child.

Yeah, yeah. Dick? I think he looks pretty cool. You know, he's got a pretty fashionable haircut. He's trimmed his beard, so he cares about looks. He probably likes him young, but, you know, he probably can't keep him off with a stick. So I'm going to say, like, a group,

maybe an 11-year year old girl's birthday party he might have come in and flashed them popped his collar flashed them and then just taylor did you go i did i i actually said in fewer words what dick did i think he molested an 11 year old girl oh shit okay i'm gonna say uh 12 then and multiple though multiple victims you're doing prices right all right let's see wow so this guy had a couple of victims from i was right victims 12 to 17 females transportation of child pornography he was 20 at the time, and he hit with three charges of transport of child porn, receipt of child porn, possessing child porn, second offense. Damn. Second offense.

What does that mean? That he was driving around with a flash drive with a bunch of porn on it? Yeah. Or maybe he distributed it. Transport to me could mean he put it someplace for download. Like he's selling selling he ran the website or selling yeah maybe god damn it 12 to 16

fuck 12 to 17 so who won that I'm a little mixed up I think I was closest I think we all lost that one if we're being fair yeah I ruled dicks the closest because he said it god damn it we have the same assumption multiple vics man well then you should have I ruled Dick's the closest because he said it.

God damn it. We have the same assumption. Multiple Vicks, man. Well, then you should have. Multiple victims. All right. They call the multiple things. I pointed that out. Yeah, well, that was really what tipped it over. All right.

Now we have Lisa. Lisa Diane Nebel. Oh, wow. Smoke show. That is odd. This bitch fucked a dog. 100%. I'm going to say two-year-old German shepherd, probably.

Picked him up. She picked him up at the foster center, took him home. She could barely wait to get in the front door. Oh, shit. center took him home she could barely wait to get in the front door oh shit duct duct tape the oven mitts on it dogs claws don't dig into her hips that was a safety bun that she has on get out the two socks it's go time the fucking a dog that's perfect

that is so perfect that is really good what do we do with her shit two year old dog is it a crime to let a dog fuck you though yes asking for a friend

I'm just asking I think she molested Yes. Asking for a friend. I'm just asking. I think she molested a young boy and she's the aunt. I'll say three-year-old boy. Why does all of her aunt look so bald other than the

bun? I really hate that. That bun is way too tight for her hairline. This chick looks like she is right at that point where she's starting to... We always joke that women go rotten at, what do we say?

23? 19? Yeah, like 19 or something like that. She's actually started to go rotten. And so I feel like... But she looks like she'd like to have that thrill again of a young man. She's a goer. I bet she's a

goer. And I'm thinking that she was probably able to secure herself. I don't think she could do a 16-year-old. I don't think she could land a 16-year-old. I don't think she could land a 15-year-old because he's about to get his license, but a 14 year old. And

she doesn't look like she's going to beat around the bush either. She fucked a 14 year old boy. You're winning me over, but I won't answer. It's a very cogent point. I'm going to say that she is so devious looking that she's fucking around

with a fiver under child. Yikes. You have to name the sex. It's part of the scoring. I'm going to say oral copulation of a nine-year-old boy. Ah, the... Damn, that is so specific.

If you win, you're going to win big. I'm going. I need some points. Taylor points you didn't say the sex of the victim oh uh male okay dick uh oh is it not a dog i'm gonna say oh i forgot you went first no that's cool no that's good okay you're able to score yeah all right 14 year old male who said that You ready for the scoring? Yeah. All right. Da-da-da-da-da. 14-year-old male. Who said that? She sucked the dick of a 14-year-old boy. Wow. Kyle wins that one. It says she sucked the dick?

That's what I took from statutory sodomy, second degree. Okay. Yeah, yeah, probably. Unless he fucked her in the ass. Yeah, I don't think that's it. I don't think that's it either. I think Yeah, yeah, probably. Unless he fucked her in the ass. Unless he fucked her in the ass. Yeah, I don't think that's it. I don't think that's it either. I think Kyle. Probably blowjob.

I think Kyle gets the point. It's one space. Yeah, that's anal first degree. I went too young. I went a couple of years too young. I had the blowjob. She looked like someone that would just suck a kid's dick. Suck a mean dick.

That's why she got her hair back. Dick a point just because I like his answer so much. You know what? Dick gets a mean dick. I'm going to give Dick a point just because I like his answer so much. You know what? Dick gets a point, too. Oh, thanks. All right. Those are style points. 14 is two in dog years, I think.

All right. Now we have Alex Adrian Martin over here. 270 pounds. I'm sorry. 207 pounds, five foot 11, uh, brown eyes. What do we got?

Well, he's like 70 now, but he went in. When did he go in? The mugshot says 2020. So yeah, this is recent. He,

he is a sex offender. And I'm going to guess that he was into child pornography because he's a very old guy his dick probably doesn't work too well i think not child porn because the age he's on an internet dude unless he's got like hard porn right unless he's got like polaroids and it's polaroids hard copies yeah then i'm probably wrong you you take it away he's got those glass plates that lincoln was photographed he's got tin types what was it called the deuterotypes yeah types yeah um yeah um he's definitely like this is not a new thing for him and i feel like he would

he looks like the kind of guy who like i'm thinking girl and i'm thinking like uh young enough for him for them not to be able to resist him which is interesting because like at 70 or whatever i feel like you know maybe he can't put up that much of a fight so i'm thinking like 9 to 12 9 to 11 year old girl i'm gonna say eight year old girl unsuccessful sexual assault of some sort this this man's a winner woody he succeeded oh no no he was a winner now the eight-year-old beat him off, but not in the cool. Literally. I'm going to say I'm going to go young on this one. I think

six years old sodomy. Boy or girl? What degree? A girl. Yeah, what degree? Is there a third degree sodomy probably again probably a family member or something like that but i'm just gonna say uh yeah six years old girl sodomy tried to stick it in her uh shitter dick i think uh he's a high school janitor and he probably cut a hole

in the boys locker room like porkies so probably probably like a couple thousand counts of whatever keeping little boys teenage boys and their wieners he's been doing it they based the movie off him probably and he got caught because he saw the movie and tried to stick his crank through the hole. All right. Victim age 11 year old boy. Sexual abuse second degree. Wow. He was 39 at the time of the offense. Oh shit.

Yeah weird. And his sexual contact with a victim. Under the age of 14. Wait. A class A misdemeanor kid diddler. It says kid diddler. It does not say diddler it says class a misdemeanor period kid diddler no website are you using this is is this it's always sunny in philadelphia fandom.org like a kid diddler, so who wins based on that? 11-year-old male.

Not me. Kitty diddler. Who had boy? I had boy. And what age? 11. Well, you're getting a point. It sounds right to me.

All right. And the lie gets the point. This is the last one. this is the last one what is the last one we got darren jerome good he's 5 11 205 pounds innocent wow this guy raped me he's got he broke his nose he broke his nose on my dick i don't know about this guy i really don't know i i do he he looks so sinister in this photo i bet he did something absolutely devious so i'm gonna say oh go ahead guy if this photo could talk it would say yeah i did it and i'd do it again i'm gonna guess that he he doesn't

seem like a kitty diddler to me he seems like raped like a 16 year old that is my that was my choice i think about a limb i think he raped like a 23 year old oh shit girl may it's gonna come down to the age then i say you um of a 17 year old i have no idea where dick's gonna land on this you motherfucking he's wearing an ascot very well dressed for a rapist so he was trying to solve mysteries most likely yeah

he's more of a Sherlock Holmes than a fucking rapist Sherlock Bones he was trying to hide the mystery of the missing salami I think oh it's here the 16 year old i think he probably i think he fucked a guy actually wow no probably his own age i think wow is that illegal illegal yeah but he's an alabama and a black man so sounds like a night out all right let's let's

find out did i say 26 police station i said 26 oh did you just clarify dick you think that this 60 year old man raped another 60 year old man 16 and 65 that's when syphilis explodes because there's old people. They get shoved in their COVID mausoleums and there's nothing to do but fuck. All right. 65. That's most of our lives. No, no. At 16 and at 65 and not in between.

This guy raped a 26 year old female attempted sexual battery tier three. Nailed time. Nailed it. Nailed it. Yeah, so he tried to rape a 26-year-old. I think he didn't get it. So you said 26? I must have said 23. I said raped a 26-year-old woman.

Wow. Because you said 23. Okay. Damn! On the fucking nose. Kyle won with three points. I didn't get many points. I'm the sexual assault champion.

Taylor, you got one point and Dick got two, although one of them was for style. I agree with your dog. That was a good one. You can just look at this guy's face and tell he raped a woman, right? You knew it was rape. You knew it was rape. We all knew he raped someone.

And you knew he didn't care. He's like, I did it before, I'll do it again. He's not going to do well in prison, though. I think raping an adult woman is more acceptable than the child stuff. In prison. Literally. Has anyone else been to the joint?

I'm not going to argue with them. They don't know intersectionality in prison? I guess because they're always worried about chomos. They're not worried about what's an adult like an emo? I don't know.

We call that a pimp. It's called a... A robo. It's just called rapist. Yo, we just like to get laid. What's up? Ain't no crime in my mind. As a matter of fact, based on what I've been watching

in Oz recently, this shit is brutalo yeah indeed there's more dick in the fucking balls in the opening credits than any porno it is the only show i've ever watched where the intro is like there's a cock there's dick and balls in the intro there's some balls and i think i know what we're getting here on this show yeah balls and man ass yeah kyle hit the nail on the absolute head when you were like dude that show is well written and it's really good but it's so fucking sad and like i was like kyle you're being ridiculous i remember watching oz and i'm re-watching it now

and it literally is like every episode is someone is being raped someone is being molested someone is being beaten and yeah i watched i watched oz about three months before i was arrested why would you do that to yourself before i was arrested oh okay between my arrest and my prison term it was like two fucking years i avoided anything like us like what what he was trying to be helpful so he'd like he'd talk about these there's these youtubers on uh who who are like ex-cons who talk about what it's like to be in prison and he would be like, yeah, yeah, Big Herc, I watched his videos. He's this huge black guy and he said,

you know, either you are a bitch or you fuck the bitch. And I'm sitting here just like, I don't want either. Don't react. Just let, just who's from who's from

Meanwhile, I'm just sweating. I'm just like, Just let this who's from. Don't react. Meanwhile, I'm just sweating. I'm just like, oh, God damn it. I'm definitely not going to be fucking the bitch. I know that. Just all the scary fucking prison stories. And I'm like, that was helpful. He's like, I thought it would be helpful.

Yeah, thanks. Did you smuggle in some blue chew in case you had to fuck a bitch is that no no they they x-ray you before they they bring you in like they don't like that thing that they show like in in prison shows where they like check your asshole like no they just put you in a fucking x-ray machine oh they don't go like, bend over and spread them. No, no. They just put you in a fucking x-ray machine. So these glasses are reading glasses. They're a little magnifying. And it always brings me a little joy every time I pee to look at the hog with magnifying glasses on.

It's just like, fuck. That's a great idea. But then your big hand kind of fucks it all up. It's just like, fuck. That's a great idea. But then your big hand kind of fucks it all up. It's just like, man. Next time we see Jackie, she's got the exact same pair on. She's like, yeah, I got them for her for Christmas. They hurt her eyes like hell, but. She's wearing three pairs of them.

I do Japanese binding, but for her hands. Flick over. Man, they need that at bars or a club. Like, you go into the urinal, and it's just got a Fresnel, a Fresnel lens jutting out. So you look down, and there's a giant pair of binoculars. All right. Who brought the hog, boys?

I brought the hog. All the guys are just crowded around the bathroom all night call it a wrap yeah yeah i think this is a good one i thought it was good too thank you gentlemen for coming on we all we really appreciated having you on love you both you're both two of my favorite guests that we ever have on here. Dude, I love doing the show. I get so many people that are just like, dude, I love watching RPKA. It's fucking awesome. And you guys are just great.

So much fun. Same fucking deranged sense of humor. Not afraid. It's just a lot of fun. Thanks so much. That's great. That was an absolutely sick game that you made us play. I'll be thinking about it for the rest of the week.

We call it the sexual assault game. No, we don't call it that anymore. No, no, no. We stopped calling it that. We call it that, but we don't write that down anywhere or tell people that we call it that. I think last time I was on, you had a conversation about, is this okay for YouTube?

Is this okay for YouTube? Is this okay for YouTube? And now we're guessing who raped whom. It's the 10th anniversary or 500th episode, whatever the fuck anything goes. I can't wait for the next anniversary you guys have next month to be on there. I was thinking today, after preparing my second conspiracy theory PowerPoint slide, I'm glad there'll be a little break in landmark episodes for Miles. I wish I would have known about that. I would have brought in that Bitcoin is actually was developed by an artificial intelligence

so it could buy itself more equipment to become a supercomputer. That's a great one. Bitcoin invented. Go ahead. sell more equipment to become a supercomputer bitcoin bitcoin invented go ahead yeah an ai was developed at stanford and it created bitcoin and sent because nobody knows who satoshi is because he doesn't exist he's a computer and he sent it all out now and he's got all the original five million coins he's waiting to sell them so he can buy himself a brand new body. I fucking love that and I believe it already. Maybe the point of Bitcoin is to acquire more server farms and it's

working. And then Iran is getting into Bitcoin so the Pentagon is going to have to pay Amazon to build their own Bitcoin farm, which means the artificial intelligence will have access to all the Alexas all over America. Oh, man.

All the Alexas. I had to process that. It just kept piling on. Thanks for having me, guys. TheDickShow.com Patreon.com slash TheDickShow. I love all the guys that wander over to my show and join in.

It's a lot of fun. Thanks for coming. Anthony, got anything you want to pimp? Oh, just CompoundMedia.com. We have a bunch of shows over there. I got mine with the great Mr. Dave Landau as my co-host. Great funny comic from Detroit. You know, a city that's crumbling also.

So we, we have fun commiserating with our crumbling cities. Race to the bottom. Yeah. All right. PKA 500. We did it.