Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #502

Episode Date: August 7, 2020

In this week's PKA, super star from 60 Days In, Nate Burrell is on the show and shares a bunch of great stories and experiences from his time on the show, also his buddy from then Trey temporarily joins the show. It's a killer episode with great stories, you're not going to want to miss it. Of course we hit on PKA tentpole topics in the 2nd half after his departure, it's just a great ride!

Pink you already, episode 502 with our guest, Nate Burel. Taylor? This episode of PK is brought to you by AmeriCorps, ExpressVPN, and Postmates. Real quick, from AmeriCorps, PK is proudly brought to you by AmeriCorps. AmeriCorps needs you now more than ever. What is AmeriCorps? It's your opportunity to help your neighbor and your nation through these difficult times. AmeriCorps members serve their communities by fighting hunger, teaching, tutoring, and mentoring students,

as well as responding to natural disasters. AmeriCorps is your chance to get involved and be the greater good. Search hundreds of opportunities and apply at joinamericorps.gov. That's joinamericorps.gov. AmeriCorps, A-M-E-R-I-C-O-R-P-S. So check them out,.gov. Very happy to have AmeriCorps on our side anyway nate flexing with those spelling skills jesus taylor enough is enough to be fair i was reading it

he really is a little easy i can spell anything it's written down so nate thank you so much for coming on. Anyone who watches my streams on Twitch, Taylor Mirko on Twitch, follow me there. Nate is, we've watched most seasons of 60 Days In, and we have kind of a power ranking of, as the seasons start, we'll be like, oh, dude, this guy's going to be a bitch. This girl's going to be good. This guy sucks dick. And then every once in a while, and you invest in them. And so I'm like, oh, this guy's getting very very high tea. So I'll throw some cash into him,

but then he'll get beat up. And it's like, I lose all my money, which is unfortunate. You are the highest T highest stock of anyone on the show. And the show's history. I made a lot of fake money on you. So I appreciate that.

Appreciate it. Yeah. So we had, uh, we had Mark from 60 days in on, and his experience was a lot different than yours, to say the least. And for those of you who aren't familiar, 60 Days In, you go in for 60 days in prison. Nate, you're the only person who did 120 Days In.

Is that right? Yeah, so I'm the only person to do two seasons. Yeah. Were you? Because basically, you did so well that the guards were like, hey, you want to just hang out? And what were your thoughts when he came to you were you like fuck this were you like no i want to be the best motherfucker this show's ever seen so i mean to be honest uh when they asked uh at first just pride kicked in right i mean it was

just kind of like one of those things yeah let's run it and then when i realized that they were not kidding they were being serious i I was like, whoa. Oh, man, I got to think about this for at least a day. And I mean, they probably keep paying you. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. And just to be clear, when he says he did two seasons, there wasn't a break in between.

He just stayed in fucking jail. Yeah. So just think of the mind, the mind warp that I had to go through when I'm thinking, wow, I got like five days left, you know, and then they hit me with this. And it's like, I mean, it's like you're celebrating. Like, you're like, man, that final week, like I'm going home. And then all of a sudden it's boom. It's starting all over again. Was there a time like 10 days into the second 60 days where you're like this sucks oh yeah imagine kyle knows exactly i know that exact feeling except you didn't volunteer and nobody paid you kyle did 60 days in too i'm not sure if we made

that clear for nate nope no i didn't know about that kyle. Yeah, but it was real when I did it. Hey, it was real when I did it, too. I promise you. I was just getting paid. Yeah, but you could leave whenever you wanted. I sure would like a cup of coffee. I would have done that. They'd be like, that guy's crazy. I'm going to rape him.

My shoulder's really acting up. Well, we'll get you to the medical in a week or two. Was your shoulder the sign to get out? Just go to the, what was your signal? It was, but for Nate, what was yours?

What's that? If you needed to get out, if you, if something got hot and you needed to get it, how do you signal? Uh, so I, I believe it was,

uh, to put your hands above your head. Um, I mean like, you know, I think it was like to do that. Okay. Um,

and then to talk about sports or something like i don't i forget man that was that was three years ago that's how far nate was from ditching didn't even know the signs hey i'll tell you what if you don't have a plan you won't use it what was uh yeah yeah in either of the 60 days what was the closest you ever got to being like fuck this because as a viewer i was like at no point was like oh nate's in trouble like some it would show some inmate being like i think nate's a little too articulate for being here and then you would show up and they're like nah he's fine like so i would i would say honestly man like uh i started dealing with like a lot of depression in there, to be honest. I started getting really down on myself.

There's times in there, you guys are probably going to laugh, that I actually started to question, is this real? Am I really here for this TV show or am I actually in here? in here like um but yeah there was a time i read uh um a book about a whole bunch of uh world war ii i think uh soldiers that had been captured and uh i just was reading it one night and i almost tapped out like it was it was almost lights out and i was reading through it and i'm just like man i'm done like i am i'm not doing this anymore and then i was like i'll give it until the morning we'll see how i feel in the morning then the morning came and i was like all right let's keep going i have this theory that like no matter where you are eventually that just becomes the life that is normal for you right whether it be a prison like you were in or that like Indian poverty or some Brazilian jungle, like it, this is just life. You just wake up and do life things.

Is that what happens? You just accept where you are and keep on kicking? Yeah, man. I mean, it's just, it's your new life. That's, I mean, that's kind of how you got to look at it, right? You're going to, you're going to work every day. That's what I was doing. I was going to work every day. So, I mean, I was going to work every day so i mean i just had to accept that's that was my work environment there's there uh so there was one uh mark as we said he came on he got roasted by my chat when he was trying to set up a bible study and walked around going bible study bible study and i was like hey we asked him on here i'm like mark that must have been so disheartening that nobody came to your bible study and he's like no those motherfuckers at A&E edited it

to make it look like nobody came to my Bible study. I had to group right away. Everybody came. And so that part made me look like a loser and I disliked it. Did you have anything like that? Whereas you were watching the show with like your girlfriend or friends, you're like, oh, this next part, this next part. And then, oh, wait, what the fuck? That's not how it went down. That was three weeks earlier. That scene scene was there a bunch of that so to be honest i mean you know i'm not knocking any i mean they're making uh i mean they made an awesome you know tv series so um there was a lot that happened that you're just like ah dang i didn't they didn't play that out but i I mean, that's just production,

you know? Yeah. Anything like, I'm like violence, like maybe they, something got too intense and they had to cut or just, um, I just think like,

you know, like they, they kind of made things like the, the climatic, you know, like moment, you know, that they're building up to.

And then they pull stuff that happened, you know, two or three weeks ago and they put it in there and you're like, wait, that's not what was going on then. I mean, production, they just cut a whole bunch of pieces out and put them where they want them.

Yeah, that makes sense. You kind of have to do that, I suppose. But I did feel bad for Bible study because that was really an embarrassing scene for him. Yeah, I felt bad for him. He didn't get treated right. That's the bad part. I don't know.

If you look bad, that's one thing. If they make you look bad, that's not fair. Yeah. Everyone's cringe from time to time, but he wasn't. He had a successful Bible study cooking. Yeah. You don't think it was that successful, Kyle? I don't think it was that successful, Kyle? I don't know.

I don't know, but I never bought that he was supposed to be second in line to lead the whites or whatever. He was like, oh yeah, I was next in line. I think that that guy in charge had a bunch of busy work he needed doing, and he was like,

oh yeah, you're my right-hand man. He called a shot right he had his own people beat up his own people so that other people didn't beat him up instead do you remember that that happened i think yeah where it's like something like that he said it on the show yeah i i just didn't don't think that anybody was respecting that guy or doing anything that he said because he said it. I would just imagine that there's a hierarchy there and that guy's like

he wouldn't just pick a you're my new right hand guy. There'd be some 6'4 Aryan with very old swastika tattoo. You're up next. Mark's a pretty big boy too. So I think a lot of things you know especially in jail like you know i mean it's just size you know and and mark's mark's fairly

big i mean he doesn't uh i think when i seen him in person i was like oh man you're bigger than i thought you were maybe you want a teddy bear as your number two right if the guy you described this hulk with the old aryan tattoos is your number two people start treating him like number one maybe you want your number two to be bagel boss and i'm posting that area with lead to keep him retarded i'm number one ah this is just 3d chest dope them with lead dead number two and mark put too much in there yeah it's i constantly am watching the show and i bet everybody who talks to you about it is like mr you know i know all right is he frozen or no for me in a very funny way yes in a very there we go

yeah i don't know what happened i just froze that's okay you're good yeah you just froze with a very with a grimace on your face i wasn't sure if you're upset so that's so uh i'm always wondering watching that show like how would i do and i lean towards the fact that i would do much worse than i think i would because i imagine everybody goes into it being like i'm gonna be the guy just like i imagine it being like the first time you go to play paintball i remember when i was like 11 i was like going in imagining like one shot one kill popping around the side running and then you go and do it and like some 34 year old with the $1,200 setup just mows you down and you're sad but like i imagine that's how 60 days in like even if you're all psyched up like yeah i've seen all the episodes i know how to do it i read prison shows i watched oz to get the fear into me and now like you show up and i imagine

a lot of that just poof leaves your head once you're in reality right like so fall apart honestly the only person that i think was able to go in there with that whole mentality was abner right i mean the dude had like eight years of like actual hard time that he, that he served. I mean, that dude knew the ins and outs, how jails worked, how prisons worked. Like he knew how to, you know, how to interact. So I think he was, I went in there honestly, just thinking originally I was just going to lay low. I was like, Hey, I'm going to lay low, just kind of do my time and get out of here. Was there a moment kind of where the other inmates were getting close to you where they're like where you kind of thought, holy shit, I'm on the ends here.

They trust me. Yeah, that happened pretty quickly, too, man. Like I tried laying low and there was a time where like, you know, like some of the leaders started kind of coming to me and talking to me and things like that. Tell me information like, you know, tell me, hey, look, I need drugs. If I need this, you know, just let them know. And then there was times where actually I wish Trey was on here with us. So there was this big fight scene where he went up into a room with like one of the biggest dudes in there. Rue was the guy's name. They fought behind closed doors. That dude

actually came up to me and he's like, I'm making an announcement to the pod but it doesn't go for you or your cellmate Desmond. Everybody's going to pitch in items from commissary. You guys don't have to pay up. I was like, wow.

Okay. Man, what were the items for? yeah i don't understand why did everyone pay rent just pay oh oh they were just only dording items out of everyone but you gotta pass because you're cool is that the scoop hey man i'm hoping it was because i was cool they weren't expecting head later or anything? No, no, man. And, you know, honestly, I went in there and, you know, anytime anybody talked to me, like, you know, they'd be like, oh, man, you're a Marine. You'll probably kill us with one hand. I'm like, nah, dude, it's not like that, man.

Like, I've probably been in just as much. I've been in the least amount of fights probably out of any of these guys in here. And they're like, yeah, but you're trained to kill. I'm like, no, not really, dude. See, that probably made them like you more. They're like, no, that's part of his Marine training. Keep underestimating you. I'd have been like, yeah, you better not get me to unlock the death stare.

Yeah, the vile stare. I'd kill you across the pod if I so wish. Being a Marine definitely helped. It seems like that helps in every season or at least a military man they find another military guy in there and they have immediate camaraderie yeah honestly man uh military gets along really well with uh with inmates um i mean you're both regimented stuff yeah i don't know. You're both eating regimented stuff. Yeah. I don't know what the psychological side of it is there, but it's there. They both do time and can't wait to get out. Yeah. Counting down days.

Yeah. One guy, in addition to Abner, that I think handled it really well, is a guy named Quentin, this black ex-cop. And he never seems to get upset about anything like he was laying on his cot under the stairs huge guy and some crackhead white guy falls over and he's like having a seizure next to him and he's like it's very difficult as a police officer to not get up and go over and engage and try and help but i figured the guards knew what they were doing they entered the pod went over they didn't even touch the man They let the inmates continue to hold him.

I was very disappointed by what I saw. And that was it. Like, he didn't even get mad or anything. Like, four days in, he's like, I'd love to have my pin so I could get this phone call out. And they're like, it's your problem, man. Sorry. He's like, this is incredibly disappointing knowing that I've been sending people to this sort of establishment. And this is how they run.

He was mad about the administration and the policy but yeah quentin rules do you uh would you ever go for uh a total 180 yeah if they ever pull you back in for a best of season in a few years the survivor did it they will definitely do it with you at some point man i don't know i don't know how to do it man like i mean inmates love the 60 days in show right i got the answer 60 days in international you go to fucking thailand throw you in a prison that's scary town right there that's that's 100 scary town no you have to go to a vietnam prison and not let it slip that you're in the US military. Yeah. How much is that?

No, we don't. That'd be terrible. No, you won't. 60 Days of the International, I would want to go to Sweden, Norway. Have you seen those prisons? You get Xbox. I'm not going back. They've got all the good shit. That guy that shot

70 people in Swedeneden like 10 years ago or whatever it showed like a picture of him he's got a nice little private shower with with tinted glass he's got a tv get a ps3 at the time and this was like 10 years ago it's like what the fuck dude this isn't fair it just had come out he's got yeah he's got the new he's like i got the new grand theft auto it's awesome he's just killing kids walking that's what he did right you're talking about the guy who like went on that island with the handgun and shot all those i thought he was like uh up in somewhere like with a rifle i don't i don't know there's they all blend together maybe it was a handgun yeah so many shootings but this one was international, so it kind of stuck out.

I want to say, and again, I don't remember, but the way I do remember it was, he was on an island and there was a lot of kids, and he had a clock. Yeah, it was like a camp or something, a kid's camp. Is this the Swedish one or something? About 70 kills? You know, we're American,

so one of those countries. Yeah, one of those. Starts with a B. One so one of those countries. Yeah, one of the very quiet countries. Who knows? Killed 77 people. That's an enormous amount of people. Oh, he had to hit a Ruger and Glock 34. Oh, and a van bomb.

Okay, he had a bomb. Well, how many did the bomb kill? I remember him shooting a lot of people this guy's a fucking weirdo it says he practices odinism what is that yeah worshiping like the old gods and the new yeah wasn't he from like the norse area isn't that what happened yeah i feel like you're discriminating against local religions tay Taylor. But those people over there don't even do that anymore. Some do, clearly.

At least one. Okay, that one guy in that really cool cell celebrates it. Dude was trying to get a Valhalla. Leave him alone. You know what? That would be pretty embarrassing if the Norse figured out god thousands of years ago and then we got all fucked up with like jesus and in islam and mormonism and the rest and it's like no bitch odin it's odin thor and loki and you should have known they turned back up to see the movies

yeah jesus the christianity definitely came first though right christ, no. How old is fucking Norse shit? How old is Norse shit? Google it. That's exactly what I Googled. Oh, never mind. This is nearly as old as like Jesus. Alright, fuck me. Jesus wins again.

You know, he always will Praise him What's up Trey Hello there You made it out of Uber See you've gotten to a hard line Very nice Yeah I'm good We are

We are on live right now So don't admit to any crimes or anything Well Okay thanks Great to know We are live right now, so don't admit to any crimes or anything. Well, in current ones. Okay, thanks. Great to know. Yeah, we're going through Nate's story and everything. So you guys were in there together at the same time during 60 Days In? Yeah.

Yeah, that's my bro. Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, Nate, that's my bro. Were you pissed at all when you found out that he was a contestant on a TV program? No, because, like, Nate was cool. I really honestly did not know it was 60 Days. That was crazy. But, you know, it's like, it is what it is. Nate cool with me, you know. I talked to Nate. We still in contact, you know it's like it is what it is nate cool me you know i talked to nate we still in contact you know clearly yeah even in the back of ubers

so when did uh i i'm gonna follow that little line when when did you find out that Nate was a contestant on a TV show, and what was your reaction? When I watched this show. Oh, shit. Because I seen, like, you know, like the previews of the show, and we were all on there and stuff. And, like, I actually go and watch the show because everybody keeps sending it to me like oh

my god you don't 60 days and i'm like oh my god it's so embarrassing and i see nate i'm like what i ain't gonna lie i never would have thought that nate was a contestant nate was just so cool nate was chilling bro nate did his time like a real man he just stayed to his self-minded his business you know so when they were trying to get all the inmates in on it they're just going around having you sign something i assume being and you're just thinking oh this is going to be some boring documentary that they're going to show in some school class and then it's on tv you know what they said to us so we're gonna give y'all extra time and it's a it's a show on document it's a documentary on incarceration in america so i'm like oh it's probably locked up channel 52 type shows, you know what I'm saying? And it turned out to be

60 days in, so I was like, wow. That's crazy. Yeah, that's a good show. You said it was embarrassing. What was so embarrassing about the first time you saw your own face up there on it?

Because now everybody was going to know that i was in jail you know oh my gosh and now everybody like this sends it to me like my fans and stuff like they always send it to me people will stop me random randomly in public like yo i seen you on this TV show. I'm like, yeah, that's me, bro. How much longer were you in there after Nate left? Actually, I got kicked out of the program after

that fight. I ended up doing eight months. I got locked up March, and I got out in October. I don't remember when we were filming. Kicked out of the program? What do you mean? I called it a program because it was 60 out in October. I don't remember when we were... Kicked out of the program? What do you mean? Well, I called it a program because it was 60 days in, but I kicked out the dorm and went to the hole

because, you know, my tape was like... that we were fighting. Were you in the hole for a long time? No, just 30 days for failure to comply, something like that that that sounds like a long time was it rough i mean jail is just rough in general you know you didn't find the hole to be

extra bad i mean it was just like i can't order any like gas station and i can't i can't call nobody for real you tell me the worst part about solitary confinement is the lack of gas station food yeah absolutely when you're in jail you look forward to that gas station okay i promise i promise what was the hole like there? Are you in, is it solitary or you have a, a, a cellmate? It's 23 and one. You're in the cell. You might be in the cell with two people,

but I was in the cell by myself. You know, I caught it good. Usually two people in there. Where I was, it was two men to a cell. Um, for,

uh, if you got put in the hole or they call it the shoe there. And, uh, it was like, like you couldn got put in the hole. They called it the shoe there. It was like you couldn't even flush the toilet. You had to ask a guard to flush the toilet from the outside. That way you couldn't get rid of any contraband or anything if it came down to

you flushing a shiv or something. They wanted to make sure that yeah, it's shit in the bowl. You would have to walk over and check your poops. Yeah. What a terrible job. That toilet got flushed when a guard came by and you asked him to flush your toilet from the outside. Oh, so you'd almost have to be timing your shits.

Like if you know this guy's not coming around for another two hours, it's like, God, I got a whole other hour and 45 minutes. And there's two of you in there. So you know there's been piles of shit when two guys can't hold their prison food? Once it breaks the surface, you've got a problem. Yeah. That's how that works. Maybe it's like an iceberg of shit.

Yes, yeah. It's the tip of the iceberg that causes all your problems. I mean, maybe those Nords have something. How many fights happen in Nordic prisons? It's the tip of the iceberg that causes all your problems. Maybe those Nords have something. How many fights happen in Nordic prisons? Very few. They got Xbox. They got Nordic shows

with hot weather ladies. This is the way of the future. We need to start emulating that. Not Brazil or whatever we're emulating now. I just know that like watching oz i'm like there's no way the whole is they kick you in there physically naked into a concrete wall and then like throw biscuits at you twice a week possibly be what it is a lot of dead people of dead people. The way you guys are describing it, having to wait to flush your shit isn't as bad as the

HBO show from 1996. No. That would be a good show for you guys to watch. Make you feel lucky. Fuck that show. I hate that show so fucking much. I know.

That's horrible. If you've got like PTSD about something and you think back to that moment that like triggers it, that's what Oz is for me. It's just like that because I watched Oz like just as a regular viewer. And then I got locked up like a month later. I got locked up like a month later and then I had like a year and a half of like trials and bullshit and looking forward to a potential like

Oz situation. And it was like, motherfucker, why did I watch that show? They just get raped and stabbed and raped and stabbed and raped some more and then shit on their face and then crippled. Tattooed. None of these are exaggerations.

That's how it goes. It's like rape, stab, rape, stab, cripple, cripple, cripple, shit on the guy's face, cripple, cripple, rape, stab. And I'm sitting there like, man, I hope I picked the right lawyer. This is terrible. Every time something is about to happen that's good in that show, it's just gone. The guard who's really good at basketball,

and he's playing the locked-up guy who's really good, and then the guard who's really good, and he's like, hey, there's a scout for the Sacramento Kings at this prison game. They're looking forward to you. And then the guard gets approached by the guy, and he's like, hey, you're real fucking good. We want you to come out to the Sacramento Kings camp.

And then he's doing his rounds, some ghoul like with a razor blade just gouges out his achilles tendon and it's like well that was the end of that storyline no no no redemption no nothing yeah every episode of that there's like eight episodes throughout that show where it's like that it's like builds you up to think oh shit some good shit's about to happen to somebody this is their lucky fucking day and it's like no no it's gonna be the worst day of their lives because things were heading up yeah it's oh they executed that retarded guy it's like come on that's in texas it's too much this is in texas i like your joke taylor well that's like the meme that the texas thing right because they've done that at least once It's too much. This is in Texas? I like your joke, Taylor.

Well, that's like the meme, the Texas thing, right? Because they've done that at least once in the past, right? Ah, who hasn't? I think they have to, yeah. I don't know why the retarded get a pass, all right? You do the crime. You do the time. I'll just put them in a pen with some Play-Doh and we'll have some fun. We'll be fine. they'll be fine.

They just want to play. A little mood save. Put them on a Game Boy. Oh, he's got the mind of a seven-year-old. Yeah, a seven-year-old who stabs people. He's got to go. That's dangerous. A seven-year-old who doesn't understand. A prize boxer with the mind of a seven-year-old.

You know what? You're proving me wrong, Kyle. They were saving lives by killing that retarded guy. What's fucked is where they like, I've seen, I saw an instance where this guy was retarded and he was innocent and they put him in the electric chair and they said that he was so retarded that he had no idea what death row was or why he was there, and he was smiling on the way to the electric chair because he thought, oh, look at all these nice people.

They gave me whatever I wanted to eat today. There's a priest there to talk to me. Hey, nice to meet you. I don't get to meet too many new people here you know and they're putting the sponge on his head and everything he's like that feels kind of nice oh look at this putting the hood over awesome surprise surprise party oh i've had one of these before and then they fucking execute the mother and he was innocent wait he was innocent yeah yeah is this real

life we're talking about real life that's horrible yeah i read that uh maybe a month ago that whole story and i want to say there was a photo of him like either being strapped into the electric chair or being led to it and he's grinning because he thinks surprise party i don't know cupcakes are coming maybe he just got fried chicken for the first time in three years. You know, whatever. He was having a good day, he thought. That's sad. Yeah, sad.

It's real down. That's sad, bro. That's wrong on a lot of accounts. Yeah. Was this from 1923? Am I in? The photo was black and white 1939 it was a real green mile type scenario was it a race do you remember i honestly don't remember

it was a reddit thing that i read like a month ago yeah it's this one woody the the joe arity one is that yeah that's the one i found yeah He was severely mentally disabled and was 23 years old when he was executed on January 6, 1939. Many people believe he was innocent. Finally got a tombstone in 2007. There's a nice win. Ooh, look it up. Where does it say his IQ? I think his IQ is like...

He said he had an IQ score of 46. Oh, shit. That's like you can't do anything. Yeah. At all. At 46. Forrest Gump was like, what, a 69 or something? Oh, he was hanging in the 70s. I bet.

Yeah. He could run. He came up with a lot of business ventures. He's a successful entrepreneur. Met several presidents. He's 75. 75. So we have a gentleman much much much more retarded than a

forest gump he he owned no companies uh received no medals of honor not even a billionaire not a billionaire mom would not have been able to fuck his way at a normal storyline would have been like hey that was a pretty great Hummer, but he's eating pennies over there, so no. Did his mom fuck him into mainstreaming school, like not fit in with the rest of Forrest Gump to anybody else? It's a very wholesome, feel-good story where everything just breaks this guy's way. But his mom whored herself out for it, enthusiastically, apparently. I don't know. I feel like I'm the only one who's got a crazy town dabbing the sweat off his brow he's like boy your mama sure does care about your schooling

smell my finger i feel like everyone watches it like well well, yeah, that was a pretty good thing. Everyone seems to think it turned out okay. No, it's a sad story, Forrest Gump. It's not a, you know, if I watch Forrest Gump, I cry. There's no way I can make it through that whole fucking movie without crying, especially when it gets to the very end and he's asking Jenny if his son his son is retarded like him but he doesn't know how to phrase it i know it's rough that's a rough scene and there's a handful of rough scenes i guess everything goes well for him but he's not that lucky in love by and large uh jenny was a fucking whore yeah i don't feel like jenny got the hate

she deserved in forrest gump oh Oh, she gets it from me. Fuck Jenny. Yeah, I'm on the same team. I read Forrest Gump 2. I wanted to know what happens next. Forrest Gump 2 fucking sucks. I think the book sucks

and it was really just a good movie. By the way, Forrest Gump, foul-mouthed asshole. Foul-mouthed asshole who just wouldn't stop cursing.

And he was kind of a bully. And he was a big, strong guy. that's why he did so well in football the whole tom hanks portrayal of forrest gump is so much better than the book portrayal of him yeah i can believe it yeah i i um i've never read the book but i've heard about it and i've read about it and i guess like he continues to do like these ridiculous things and like fall ass backwards into like lucky scenarios and achievements i remember he had like a giant hog farm and they didn't know what to do with all the pig shit so they put all the pig shit in like a cave system which exploded with the methane gas and covered the whole town and somehow that

worked out and to be a good thing but the cave was full of gold so now he's got a gold mine yeah a big shit hole and yeah i love that movie though like that and then the second the second scene that that that actually will make me cry if the first one didn't is when he's at jenny's fucking grave and he's telling her that he's done the best he can for their son and i'm just like oh god oh no i can't i can't handle that it's so fucking sad i got a question for trey you said you got into a fight what led up to the fight like what was it about and how did it go so if you watch if you watch one of the episodes it it's called, like, The Pot Bully. And there was, like, a whole bunch of gang members in there. And they was, like, taking everybody's stuff. And one of my childhood friends, he, like, was in there with me.

And they were planning on taking his stuff. So I tried to prevent that. And we ended up getting into an altercation where we got to find him myself. You know? And then, like, I thought they was going to jump me and we end up getting to altercation where we got to finding myself you know and then like i thought it was gonna jump me and shit but they they let it ride you know and then my friend end up telling like what happened oh uh-oh he'll be back in a sec I'm sure hopefully maybe studio has good internet

I hope oh it's funny well he can bounce to something else then until he comes back yeah what was the sorry I had to run to the restroom what was the story he was telling his fight yeah what led up to the fight and how did it how it went so he i guess he was protecting his friend there that guys were trying to extort him or get rent out of him yeah so trey actually was like good too like the dude like wasn't even

gonna mess with trey but uh there was another guy his name was monty and uh they were they're gonna take his stuff and he and trey was like no you're not gonna take his stuff and he's like man if you want to go upstairs we'll take care of it upstairs he's like we'll go upstairs i'm telling you what the only dude in that whole jail i did not want to fight was the dude that was telling who's gonna take everybody's stuff and trey was like all right let's go and i was like oh wow how did maybe you can finish it how did the fight go like was trey so they went up they went up there in the room and they shut the door so uh you know like they blocked the door so nobody could could see or you know break it up or anything and i mean it sounded like like World War II was going on in that room.

Then Trey walked out like nothing happened. The other dude walked out like nothing happened. Jeez. I think Trey's nose was messed up a little bit. It wasn't straight or just bleeding a little bit?

I think it was... You have to ask Trey when he comes back, but I think it was crooked a little bit. Yeah. I thought there was almost a rule where it's like, all right, we're going to go fight, but don't punch in the face too much or they're going to know and we're going to get in trouble. Or is that not? Yeah, no, they didn't enforce that at all. The guards just wouldn't care.

They'd be like, oh, your face is all fucked up. Who else has a fucked up face? Okay, you two, we know. They wouldn't care they'd be like oh your face is all fucked up who else who who else has a fucked up face okay you two we know so no so there was this one kid uh uh he was definitely on the spectrum um and they jumped him into the gang and i don't know why they were putting him in the gang i wouldn't want him to the left or right of me but But he came out and his face was all messed up. His eye was like all pink, like all around the pupil, like all red. And then, I mean, it looked like that for a week. And they never asked him anything. What gang was he getting beat up into?

I don't even remember. Wasn't the Woods or the... I don't even remember the other names. I believe it was a black guy. Well, then definitely not... Well, if they were beating him, it was for a different reason. They didn't let him in afterward. They didn't like, all right, you can join.

Clayton Bigsby. That still holds up. Yeah, I would hate to go to prison. It looks like... And I like all the people who go into that show maybe three days in, they're like, you know the worst part about prison? It's almost always in the woman's cell.

I recall. They're like, you know the worst part about prison? Is that I can't leave and I don't get to pick when I do anything. And it's like, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's the only thing about prison. You just defined prison, you asshole. Yeah.

I can't think of what I want to do. I almost never find the women's side to be entertaining at all because, like, for one thing, they're rarely even close to as violent as the men's side. So, like, the stakes are just inherently lower. the men's side so like the stakes are just inherently lower but also like it seems like most of their drama is like like like bullshit like like it's all bullshit don't get me wrong but like theirs is like just oh she looked at me funny she thinks she's better than me and it's it's like really like like like they're over there stabbing each other over potato chips in the in the in the men's pod and these girls can't fucking get along and paint their nails at the same time.

Or the contestants are getting all snooty because somebody's smoking some cologne upstairs, and they don't like it. Or they can't sleep well enough. It's like, I need my sleep at night. What fucking for? Sleep tomorrow. Why would...

You got a big day? You gotta get up early and head over to the what? The car table? Get the fuck out of here. Go to sleep and don't rub anybody the wrong way. You got 60 days. Would you say they were smoking? It sounded like cologne. Cologne. They're smoking fake fucking weed.

Oh, okay. Like spice? They were smoking real weed and foam. Yeah. Yeah, they were smoking real weed where I was, okay. Like Spice? They were smoking real weed in Fulton. Yeah. They were smoking real weed where I was, too. They smoked both. Nobody cared, I guess, right? Because you can smell it far away. So, actually, man, they had a system down in Fulton.

They'd sit over a toilet and they'd pump all the water out. So, that way it was like a natural vacuum. And then they'd just sit over that toilet. And then they'd smoke that, you know, the the weed and then they'd throw it down the toilet and then they had these socks with uh like soap bars and baby powder in them and then they'd sit there and just pop them and then it was just like a nap air freshener it would just release and it would smell like powder and you wouldn't even tell anybody smoking i love the ingenuity of these things where it's like 100 baby powder

soap and a sock but what do we want to really do smoke weed we can figure this out that one is impressive sometimes i think people get too excited about their ingenuity like man get this get this they took rebar and they sharpened it on a stone these guys are so fucking clever and it's like well i don't know that's some caveman shit right there. Like, I'm not too impressed. Yeah. I'm lucky to do that. The coolest thing I saw as far as, like, ingenuity, MacGyver shit,

is the lighters that they would make in prison, where they had, like, a couple of batteries. Batteries, yeah. Like, attached together, and then, like, some really thin wire that they would touch together and the wires were red hot and then they touch it at the end of the cigarette and they could get it hot enough to like spark up a cigarette and everybody had one and they were made out of like broken radios and shit because they've got you know where you put the batteries into like

any device like or even a remote control there's like there's that whole setup right where the batteries go into slots. They'd have that and then tape wrapped around that and the battery stuck in it and then wires coming out, touching together. That shit looked cool to me. I wanted one of those. I wasn't smoking, but I thought that was fucking cool. Yeah.

Everybody had one. I really didn't like the contraband in the female ward or pod or whatever in the season I was watching most recently. They're like, oh, we're going to do some drugs. Crack sticks. And what it is is tampon paper rolled around the inside of an e-cig. And then we're going to smoke that. And I'm like, wait, so there were no drugs added? It's just you're making yourself sick with the amount of nicotine by getting rid of the governor that gives it a little bit at a

time it sounds it sounds like smoking like five cigarettes at once and just feeling ill more than that they're burning it rather than vaping it so like instead of vaporizing like nicotine gel or whatever and inhaling like a nice vapor that like slowly gives you like five milligrams a hit or whatever the fuck it does. They're smoking that thing. They're burning the part that is soaked in nicotine wrapped in a tampon roller or whatever the hell it's gotta be getting them pretty fucking tipsy, pretty high. Um, that this, the women's pod that was, that was really jumping off was the one where they had all the pills and they were everybody was like uh cheeking their pills

and crushing them up and mixing them with that kool-aid that looked fun that looked fun the whippets except like they talk about the drugs they were using and they never seemed like fun it's like oh we got a bunch of zoloft a little prozac and what do we got here oh well butrin we're gonna mush all this up together it's like these are all just antidepressants ibuprofen and aspirin this isn't fun at all yeah but we're not gonna have headaches for days so they don't i guess they don't give them access to stuff like nyquil that they could just get fucked up on right away right you probably couldn't buy the commissary no no they probably they probably could let you do that if you ever accidentally taken too much nyquil when you have the flu or something yeah accidentally it's really not fun you feel weird

in a bad way like you you feel like the ground's moving. It's not fun. Everything's wonky. Yeah. Yeah. If you lock it up, wonky sounds good. It only has to be more fun than prison. It's an upgrade.

All right. You're right. It only has to be more fun than prison. Get a little Settlers of Catan board in there, something like that, and someone would make a shank out of it somehow and ruin the fun. Are board games allowed, or is cards the only thing? So you never see...

No, they have chess. Nobody ever tried to shave the chess or checker pieces into something? Yeah, it was checkers, yeah. We had a bunch of games. We had maybe eight different board games. Mostly Monopoly was the big one they got played monopoly and like card games how did

monopoly not lead to violence yeah the white guys played monopoly family the white guys played monopoly how would he like that answer oh i got yeah i feel like you got past a lot of guys yeah uh you know they didn't gamble on monopoly they just played for fun you know there was no I feel like you got past a lot of guys. Yeah. You know, they didn't gamble on Monopoly. They just played for fun. You know, there was usually nothing riding on it, as far as I could tell. But poker was always gambling. You know, it was always gambling for, like, the commissary items.

Most max, which could be, like, traded in for, like, whatever you actually wanted. When I place myself in prison, thinking about how I do, first of all, overall, not very well. But one mistake I wouldn't make, I don't know why people always do, is getting in debt. Like, just don't have things that you can't afford. Period. Stop there.

Don't save your money. You don't have to have a Snickers bar. Suddenly, Nate gives me a Snickers bar, and now I I own butt sex and we could just have avoided that whole situation. Yeah. That better have been the tastiest Snickers ever. Oh no, it wasn't. It was the almond one.

My best friend before I went in, he actually went to prison and he said, Hey, look, man, I'm going to tell you right now, you go in there, there's a Snickers bar on your pillow. You walk out, you hold that Snickers bar as high as you can. And you yell, hey, look, man, I'm going to tell you right now. You go in there. There's a Snickers bar in your pillow.

You walk out. You hold that Snickers bar as high as you can. And you yell, hey, I don't know who's Snicker bar this is. I'm going to set it down right here. And I'm going back to my room. I was so paranoid about that. But like, I just ran into some nice people. Like in jail, in jail, there was a guy that I had gone to high school with.

Like he was like three years younger high school with like he was like three years younger than me and he was like you want a snickers bar i was like no all right man i got a crackle you want almond joy well you clearly hate snickers are you a tricks guy is it the peanuts you don't like? I don't know what nuggets are exactly. You keep your nuggets to yourself. Some guy just genuinely trying to give you a candy bar. Yeah, literally just being like cool

about it and just trying to hook me up with a fucking candy bar because I didn't have like a too hard and you're like Steve now, you know, I got to fight you and you yeah, at least you had games like that that probably passed the time well no you read books yeah i just read books i just read i didn't want to get involved with the gates i didn't know how to play spades i didn't either man quite um and yeah i hear you and like they

didn't play spades for fun uh they played for spades for money so it was like i don't want to learn a game while going into i wouldn't go into debt because i could just afford to pay off whatever i lost probably but and also like like some of the guys that played were the scary people that that actually didn't like me so i had to stay away from the game for the most part um so i i watched tv or i fucking read or i slept yeah that's it but you also didn't have a mission to fulfill from the sheriff which i always like when the people in the game take that mission a little too seriously where they're like you know i really want to go home but i got to stay here for the mission and i want to be like you really don't you think that these guys don't know these guys work here all day every day you think they don't know a little more about

the workings on it's like no they just have to tell you there's a mission so that you don't do what a lot of the women do which they'll be like i'm on 60 days in two oh me three let's join a pod together and do each other's hair for the next 49 days and like that's what very often is in the woman's pod actually no i won't say very often i'll say a hundred percent of the time i've never watched a season where i feel like it's like the guys every once in a while it'll be like oh dude i know you're in there too and they'll be like oh i know all right well i'll catch you around because this is suspicious but the women but they feel like they finally got their click and so like it often it's a problem with the guards where they're like you know stephanie samantha and uh jasmine they're not doing the the missions right we

gotta we gotta mix it up and within two seconds it's like no they're back in the pods smoking a tampon juice or whatever the fuck but at the the same time, tampon juice sounds like blood. Yeah, you're right. That was a gross phrase. At the same time, I don't blame them. Like, I probably do the exact same fucking thing because like some of like you're either going to be good at like finding out some actual actionable intel or you're not. And like that's going to be determined real quick whether anybody is going to trust you're not. That's going to be determined real quick whether anybody is going to trust you or not.

Some of those girls are like, nobody's going to fuck with you. Nobody's going to work with you. Nobody's going to give you anything. Nobody's going to tell you anything that they wouldn't want someone else to know because they don't trust you. You might as well braid each other's hair. So many times I see them go to the sheriff or

the warden or whoever they talk to at the very end of the show. And they're like, yeah, I've got some great information. There's drugs in there. And he's like, oh, really? Well, who's selling them? Oh, I have no idea. But they're everywhere. What kind of drugs?

I don't know. They smelled funny. They smelled funny. Yeah. They have no. Yeah. They have no drug experience. The first night, I thought a skunk had found its way into the spa. And after the fifth night, I thought, this might be drunk.

The skunk only comes out at night. They are nocturnal. It makes sense. So about the thing of them uniting and everything in there, my first 60 days, I picked up on Calvin and I picked up on Matt pretty much within the first 10 minutes of hearing them talk and seeing them and everything. Did you say how? Yeah.

What was the giveaway? Calvin, he was just asking me a lot of questions like uh like it like an interviewer would you know like a reporter like oh what kind of family do you come from like uh uh just asking so many questions that i was just like nah man there's something off about you and i'm just gonna i'm gonna play this one out and we'll see how it comes around but uh and then matt when he came in his story just the story i was like yeah all right he's uh he's one of us so then i kind of brought everybody together and i was like hey look like you know i just want you guys to know i got your guys's back if anything

ever happens in here um and Calvin just, he almost cried. Like, he was so excited. Him and I, we gave each other a hug. But, man, having somebody in there, that's big. You know, just having somebody that you can talk to because, I mean, at the end of the day, you're in character, right? Like, I'm being somebody that I'm not. So being able to actually, actually like break character and go

talk to someone and just be real with them uh i mean it definitely gave a little bit of clarity in my mind um the second season um andrew and uh alan when they came in i knew from the minute they walked into the pod without even talking to them, who they were and why they were here. And I chose not to actually reveal that to them. So that was pretty, that was pretty difficult, man. That added to my, to my depression in there because I watched them.

I actually like, you know, from afar, watch them actually come together and figure one another out. And I was like, man, that's pretty cool. I just,

I just watched you guys kind of like release that information to each other um so yeah it was it was it was pretty cool and the whole time they're thinking like man that marine don't mess with him I don't know what he did but all the black guys and the white guys seemed to like him so and that and it was really cool I I wish that A&E would have done a little bit better of a job on kind of revealing me to the cast on the reunion. Because none of them guys knew. So they brought them all out first. But they didn't even have cameras rolling. They didn't even record any of it.

And then I came out lastly. And their faces were just just like no way like what in the world i never in a million years expected you so yeah i i've i know i would do poorly in there but i know that i wouldn't do the chick thing. I would at least try. What would be your downfall? Oh, Kyle. What would be your downfall in doing poorly in prison or jail either? Being a smartass or something. Like accidentally saying something, being like,

or something like that accidentally. And then suddenly I'm target on my back. Try to explain. Like the joke was too good not to say. What? That doesn't happen to you no i was doing an impression of your voice as a bit but my my question would be why try why like make your why make your time in there any more difficult or risky than it needs to be like if they're paying me a bonus okay sure if they're

like yeah we're gonna this is your base pay and this is your pay if you find x y and z all right well that's a different story but if they're like yeah you're part of a tv show you get paid this we want you to find some drug dealers maybe some weaponry any intel you can find to be good all right do i get paid for more more for that oh no no all right well i'm gonna sit up here and play fucking checkers for 60 days there's no way i'm like gonna act suspiciously around anybody i know you're right there was a point where actually production pulled me in for an interview and they said uh you do know we're filming uh like a reality show right and i was like what do you mean like you've just been hanging out in your room reading a book.

I'm like, I'm in jail. You already signed the papers. I'm getting paid. I think about going into that show the same way I imagine losing a bunch of weight. Where I'll just think like, man, that would be sick. And then reality comes around. It's like, nah. I guarantee I would go in think like, man, that would be sick. And then reality comes around. It's like, nah. I guarantee I would go in with like, man,

I'm going to make sure I'm one of the contestants that people like. And then after like a day or maybe even like 40 minutes, I'd be like, no, I'm going to try and survive and not get beat up. That would be my modus operandi. You'd come out of there with some teardrop tattoos or something. You'd go the complete opposite direction. I'd come out that way. I got teared.

Totally shaved. Just no hair whatsoever i've got i talked about that before where i was like like they're inducting you into the brotherhood and you're like yeah you know make me earn those swastikas start out with just an eagle but make it look you know kind of like the american eagle. Not too angular, please. No, no, no. Put a big 88 on your back. You're like, what does this mean? Don't worry about it. My favorite player is Patrick Kane.

Get a swastika. I have to turn it into a Windows logo. I just fucking love this, dude. Nobody else did, but I stand. It wasn't a full-body portrait of Adolf Hitler on your back. That's Charlie Chaplin. That's Charlie Chaplin. It's just Hitler.

It's Hitler's Chaplin stand. He's got the cover up It's just Hitler. It's Hitler. Chaplin's dad. He's got the cane and the top hat and everything to make it right. No, but I don't just spend the money. I've got Hitler and full Nazi fucking regalia. And then all I do is add the hat. He's still sick piling up. He's still wearing the jacket. He's giving the salute and everything.

No, you don't remember Charlie Chapman from that role? Hitler? Hitler? Is he even alive around then? Yeah, probably, probably. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely he was, yeah. Yeah, well, that would be very tough to have someone approach you

and want you to have them do. That's what I would fear the most is going in, having somebody wanting you to do a favor and knowing they've got a bunch of heavy hitters behind them and being like, what do I even do? I can't say. I guess they would tell you. The guards would tell you to say no.

But in the moment, I feel like I'd be like, yeah, dude, I'll fucking get you Tylenol from the place. And then before I know it, I'm giving hand jobs to arian i fell in i fell in a similar situation when it when my tablet got broke um i don't know if you guys watched that uh that part but uh so the guy's name swole broke broke the tablet slid it underneath my door and then was like oh man you must have stepped on it or something when you opened your door. I'm like, yeah, that didn't happen, dude.

But all of the Bloods, the Crips, the GD, everybody came together, and they were like, hey, look, we're going to roll on this dude, but we need you to make that first move. And I'm sitting in my cell thinking, well, I can't be a bitch. But I also, like, can't just go out there and just blast this dude for no reason either, you know? And, I mean, these dudes were talking about, like, shanking him with mop hand, like, you know, breaking the mop stick, you know, dropping the mop bucket off the top balcony. I mean, I'm like, what if this dude ends up dead and i threw the first punch like yeah you're about to be on 6 000 days in yeah how'd it work out what'd you do well actually so

there was a lot of issues that he was causing in our pod um i mean he was uh hijacking a lot of people just taking taking everybody's commissary um and he was actually uh even intimidating the guys the trustees that were delivering food um so he had he had an altercation with one of the trustees from dinner um and the whole like him breaking my tablet happened after dinner. So when we got locked up that night, the green team actually came in and pulled him out. So it worked out perfect. And everybody was like, man, why did he get pulled out? And I was like, oh, I guess it was because of that trustee, that altercation he had with that trustee. But most likely it was because of the altercation with, with, you know, myself and a combination of everything else. But yeah, that was really fortunate that that absolutely they, they knew you or you told them you were only in for 60 days, right?

No, no. Yeah. Nobody knows how long you're going to be in jail unless you went to court and I hadn't been to court yet so um you know and that's the other thing man those inmates they know the they know the system they know like you know what your crime is how long you'll probably be there um so they were like oh man you'll probably only be here for like a month month and a half tops you know um and then like as my case progressed like you know like my, I was like, man, I'm getting close. You know, I started, like, building, like, you know, these stories. Like, oh, yeah, you know, I've been in talks with my lawyer.

You know, he's actually fighting it. And he's saying that we're not taking any plea bargains or anything like that. You know, we're fighting this whole thing all the way through. So it's getting pushed, you know, further and further. you know we're fighting this whole thing all the way through so it's getting pushed you know further and further and then um you know when i actually stayed longer i was like man how am i gonna push this like 60 days that's about a maximum sentence for what i did you know but i don't even remember what i i how i kind of worked that one in but i i everybody believed me so what was your supposed time so my cover story was,

uh, that like an ex girlfriend had taken a bunch of jewelry from, uh, my family and she had threatened to sell it. And I was like, no. So I, I drove there.

I knocked on her door. Um, she opened the door and then when she tried closing it, I stopped the door, which is breaking and entering. I don't know if anybody knows that or not, but that is technically breaking and entering. If you stop someone from closing their own, their door. Um, so that's breaking and entering. And her boyfriend was home who he was a police officer, but he was off duty at the time. Um, he came out out him and i got into a physical altercation

uh the police came and then all of the police are his buddies so we went to fulton county instead of being i don't even remember where i was locked up originally so you see you told that really well and i'm glad we got to the cover story part because that's something i think is hilarious about this whole show is you can tell early seasons, they were giving cover stories like, hey, what is so they get their inmates could ask, what are you in for? And they'll be like, oh, I got caught armed robbery in a jewelry store. And then I stole a couple grand worth of stuff and they caught me driving down, you know, Stevenson Street right there in Atlanta or wherever it was. And they'd be like, oh, okay. And then because

in the early seasons, the inmates were like, yeah, that's really simple. By the time you get to season five, they are sabotaging the shit out of these contestants where they'll be like, hey, what are you in for? And he's like, well, unbeknownst to me, you cannot skydive on Sundays in Connecticut.

And I'm here now because of that. So I'll be in at least 60 days. And it's like, oh, man, this motherfucker, let's rape him. It's like that level. Have you noticed that? I'm sure you did. They fuck people. I haven't watched a lot of the seasons after my own.

I didn't follow what you were saying. Why is that fucking them? Is it because they're not tough enough? No, just because they can poke holes in it they make it so like in by season five they're making it so convoluted and complex that the inmates will be like wait you said earlier that you did theft wait and the only charge was theft that's not how that works you would also get intimidation because you were carrying this why why the hell aren't you there for that and like the inmates know enough And then the contestant gets tripped up

because they only have the memorized script they got. And so they don't know the ins and outs of the legal system. They've got the broad strokes. So there's the one guy whose story was that he had ran a stop sign on like I-75 or something like that. And like... Oh, those interstate stop signs. They're like, there ain't no stop sign on 75 bro

yeah it was i ran it and there's like no i don't sound right like what are you exactly right because then it showed the little overhead camera in the inmate cell being like, motherfucker said he ran a stop sign on the interstate. How the fuck did you run a stop sign on the interstate? Or, of all the contestants of what you've seen, because you didn't watch after years, who kind of pissed you off the most

in how shitty they were at it? If there was anybody where you're just like, man, this guy's just fail after fail. Hmm. I mean, to be honest, uh, I watched a couple episodes from the first season.

I mean, like two tops. And then I watched my season and I watched my season literally just like last year. Um, and then I watched one or two episodes of the last couple seasons so i really don't i don't i can't say you know anybody i mean i thought i did the worst to be honest i don't know why i stayed in i don't know why they chose me maybe i was the only one

that decided to i don't know they did not ask the other contestants to stay in i can tell you the reason they picked you is because you were the only one who wasn't knocking on death's door by the end of the 60 days. Everybody else was almost about to fall apart. That's really cool. What have you been up to since 60 days in? What are you working on? I actually joined the Army National Guard. That's what I'm actually doing right now. I'm actually down in Texas.

We were supposed to be deployed to Afghanistan, and we got down here to Texas, and our orders got cut. So half of our unit went overseas, and then the other half stayed down here for a Border Patrol mission. All right. Is that preferable for you, or would you have preferred to go overseas? I've already deployed twice back in 07 and 08. I already have that under my belt. I'm down

here. I'm making more money here. I'm stateside where I get to enjoy regular food, going to a gym. Not get shot at. Yeah, exactly. It's probably way easier than Afghanistan. Just shot in the door. Oh yeah, absolutely.

100%. You can go stay at the Marriott. You don't have to stay in Afghanistan. Exactly. Yeah. You know what? I don't want to do either of those jobs. 07-08 was a rough time to be overseas.

Yeah. That was the heat of it, the thick of it. Yeah. Wow. Did you see much action over there? Where were you deployed? My first deployment was hit Iraq. It was right outside of... It was right between of uh it was like i don't know right between fallujah and uh what's the other crap it was right along along the euphrates river but uh i mean our uh our ao was pretty

pretty hot we had a couple guys uh get grenades uh shrapnel shot um my second deployment we were uh blown up i mean we're in uh vehicles on my second deployment our first point we were foot so we were walking around everywhere in the city second deployment we were uh in vehicles and we were blown up a lot i mean we had uh had, I think, I don't know, I'd say at least once every couple weeks we lost a vehicle. Damn. When you say lost a vehicle, you mean all the people in it? IDD. No, no.

We actually only lost one person on the second deployment. So we did pretty well. How bad is it when a vehicle gets well obviously it can be terrible but a lot of times it's just like my ears are ringing and i need a day off like what happens when you hit an ied no i mean uh so one of my buddies he got paralyzed um he can walk now they said he would never walk but he can walk now. Another kid, he was the gunner, had the.50 cal come off and smash him in the head. And he has a metal plate in his head now. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, it's serious. When they get blown up, you know, you got to think of everything that's inside that vehicle. It just kind of goes everywhere and it hits everybody and the vehicles flip over and so the guy they said couldn't walk you how well does he walk is it like he can walk now but he uses a cane and a walker or no he's fine he's fine 100 that's cool yeah i have a friend at the same experience but it wasn't military. I would imagine, see, hearing all that, I would think it'd be much easier for you to go into 60 days in. But I guess totally different scenarios with different levels of stress and different levels of control. That probably is a huge amount of it as well. You kind of feel like you have some autonomy as you're over there in Afghanistan, even if you are following orders.

Yeah, not really. there in afghanistan even if you are following yeah not i mean in iraq so um our days were pretty pretty busy i mean we did eight hours of patrol we did eight hours of uh of post you know standing guard and then we did four hours of qrf so we responded to anything that like happened and then we had four hours of sleep so i mean you're pretty much really because on qrf you can sleep a little bit um as long as nothing's going on but uh you still got to remember you still gotta you know brush your teeth shave you know have your personal time in in that you know four to six hour window that you have for sleep so jesus how do you keep going like we i'm sure the three of us have have like yeah i got four hours of sleep last night sucks and then maybe the next

night things go poorly yeah i didn't sleep again last night how many days in a row are you going where it's that bullshit of like four hours of sleep so my deployment was seven months and it was all the entire time like i never had a day off in seven months christmas how do you not die of sleep deprivation or blow away a falafel salesman or something like that accidentally you're just so cranky or you're so like just out of it you could have been working on four hours sleep for seven months right like everybody everybody gets cranky i mean you're fighting your best friend i mean there was times that you know i was fighting friends of mine just because you know you just get pissed off over nothing yeah you're just so on edge but you got

more sleep sometimes right am i crazy you didn't literally exist with four hours of sleep for seven months that's like no so it was four hours of solid like that was your four hour sleep block right so on your qrf uh they butted them up so um so what's qrf quick reaction forces so pretty much you're on standby so like if a unit goes outside of the wire and they need reinforcements like you're gonna go out there um so i mean qrf they would do a lot of qrf drills uh but qrf was really only activated we went on one one activation where we were actually out for like three days three days straight with like no sleep um and then when we came back we had to we had to replace the guys that were on guard tower and then we had to stand on guard tower and i actually remember my buddy uh

john uh called in he asked uh the the cp to get eyes on a house outside of the wire because he just he swore that it got up and walked and then sat back down like that's how sleep deprived we were there's a bunch of enemies out there moving houses in the night it's like solid snake in his box i mean they you know it wouldn't surprise me they're moving some some tent out there but i guess i guess he was just sleep deprived that's that's gotta be terrible just terrible i couldn't handle that i'd rather do 60 days in than seven months of four to five hours of sleep. Yeah. And there was times where, I mean,

man, like you literally sleep standing up. People don't think it's possible. You sleep standing up. It becomes a natural part of your routine. Even if it's like a five second nap, that five second nap feels real good. Yeah. It's so weird. I was watching, this was years and years ago i was watching like on the military channel if that's even still a thing it was like this navy seal documentary showing all the nonsense all the the shit they have to go through and it was like just doing sit-ups in the surf with a log over your head with all your buddies and so every time you sit up it's just right in your face and then the the drill instructor's

like all right it's been two hours of that you have earned your five minute standing nap they all walk up onto the beach and they're just standing in formation and you see everybody just like like standing there like sleeping like a bird like almost every few seconds having to make sure they don't fall over oh that looks terrible that's like torture but i guess i need to make sure you can deal with that kind of shit before they just let you start running around over there do you ever think about seals taylor like how you do in that school is that you put yourself in there and i do well at this and poorly at that no they would look at me and be like oh the wing stop is three doors down i was going to sign up for the fucking no i don't have the mental or the

physical toughness to be a navy seal like that's like you know what though to be honest to be honest a lot of the seals that i met overseas were dudes that i never in a million years would have thought they were seals i remember showing up to bases and thinking like who are these pussies and that's navy seals and then and then you see them start like working out and operating and shit and you're like god damn like oh i'm staying away from that did you ever consider trying that going into the sea that was actually my lifelong dream was to become a navy seal um and when i when i first joined uh i don't know i I wanted to go to the Marine Corps route and just kind of see where I was at, you know, in the, I guess the eliteness there. And after that, I was just kind of over it.

I just, I was like, nah, this isn't for me. But I personally don't think I would have been able to make it through the, through BUDS. What would be your, your stopping point like what's hard about buds for you now uh or peak you at this at this point i think it's just a mind thing like i just i hate getting yelled at i don't like i mean i'm a grown-ass man you know i've already i've already served my country i've already done all this like so i have a hard time when people yell at me and try to intimidate me because it's like dude you're a man before you or anything so if you want to take care of this man to man we can do that the part that always looked

the scariest to me of the navy seals i guess you said bub bud but b-u-d-s oh like was when they just hold you underwater and they drown you. And then they'll, like, do it again if you don't drown correctly. And it just looks terrible. I've watched a lot of that training, like, recently. There's this YouTube channel where there's an Estonian soldier, and he watches stuff about the American military, and he sort of reacts to it based on his background as an Estonian rifleman.

And he was watching Bud's training, and he sort of reacts to it with his based on his background as an estonian rifleman and uh he was watching bud's training and he's like these are the real guys and they're showing this clip and they're treading water and the water's very cold they're very cold and the the the drill sergeant or whatever is in a boat of course he's not treading water and don't think treading water in a fucking swimming pool or just offshore. They're out in the water. Water with waves and shit. Yeah, and he's treading this water, and he's been treading it. This isn't like he got a nice

sleep last night and a hot meal, and then today he had to tread some water. This is like day eight or something. It's hell week or whatever. He's out there, and his chin is quivering from the sh it's been it's it's hell week or whatever and he's out there and he's his his chin is quivering from the shivering and he's like okay my legs are seizing seizing up i can't kick anymore and he's like oh really well use your arms that's good advice cap thank you sir dudes maybe those are some of the bad dudes i've ever seen one percent one percent of the people who go in become a fucking navy seal and there are quite a few deaths in the training usually

drowning no it's not one percent passing rate at buds though like that's it's much higher no not it it's like so it's one percent of i think i know the statistics you're talking about kyle like you're you're like more likely to have a kid graduate from yale and harvard than you are to have a a seal and then you have like marcus latrell and his brother who like the the cold is the part that scares me the most like taylor the thing you mentioned where they dunk you in the pool uh the documentaries i watch that's where people struggle a ton you know they're wearing goggles the guy pulls their goggles off and stuff but that that would be cool i'm that's not a big issue the but the cold like swimming and they often

wear like full clothes and then they like they do the sugar cookie thing oh i hate the sugar cookie i would hate the sugar honestly when i watch that's the worst part what's the trick it's what sugar cookies where you get out of the water and you go play in the sand you get wet and sandy yeah so so here's the deal you wear clothes and your your clothes become sandpaper and they just sand your skin they sand your skin so now your skin is red, and it's bleeding. That kind of, not like a cut bleed, but a slow ooze where the blood just comes out at its own. Yeah, like a bleeding rash of some sort. The trouble is, that's not on the last day.

That's on the third day. You've got weeks of this to go, we're just gonna sandpaper your bloody wounds for the next couple of weeks to make sure that you have the mental fortitude that's where i'm like i don't know i'd like computer gaming more than this yeah that looks awful it looks fucking awful the guy that i was watching was um he was becoming a navy seal he no he was a navy seal and he was describing his training and he had been a collegiate wrestler a wrestler beforehand and uh and so he was like you know i i've been through this and that before i i've been hurt before and had to keep going i and from his point of view like being a collegiate wrestler really prepared him for that training

because of there's so much painful stuff and so much absolutely he didn't turn it he didn't turn it and say but it was worse than i expected it was more he said no oh no he was i mean he maybe he was just being cocky but yeah yes so i come up from the other end i was a collegiate swimmer so i'm like oh, oh, the dunking, that's cool. I look at the times. I think there were times they needed to do the 200 meters or something in a certain amount of time. Those fucking times are jokes. But sugar cookies, no joke, baby. Like everyone's going to have their own problem with buds.

Yeah, to me, the sugar cookie looked the worst. The cold, I think you just go numb after a while and it's not even just uncomfortable um the the the sleeplessness of it would be awful the cold like i view the cold and like there's a certain amount of toughness right that you may or have or not and then there's another amount of like well what if your body just fails you like Like, I think I know someone that knows someone who got like medically rejected because of hyperthermia. Like, they wanted to keep going and they yanked him and sent him to the ER or whatever it is they sent him to because he was too cold.

And he's like, no, I don't want to quit. And they're like, well, you're not going to die. You know, they pulled him out yeah his body failed him 100 spirit and it's like i can't say that what happened carry on some of the stuff i saw him do it just seemed like well if you're a good swimmer i think you're fine like there's this thing where their hands are bound behind their back and they were sent into the bottom of the pool to retrieve their goggles with their mouth and And it's like, it looks like something we'd do as kids. Oh no, I can't do that.

My contacts will get cloudy. We would go for like 30 minutes carrying two bricks above the water, right? So you just legs hold and carry bricks above the water above your head. Would they even let them home with shitty terrible vision in there? I don't think so.

I never see too many Navy SEALs wearing glasses. No. I do the sugar cookie and I just gotta quit because my contacts are ruined. That would be my excuse. That's saying it.

If I make it that far, I'm like hour three, day one. So when is the next meal? I think I'm here by mistake. I don't know why. I was looking for a Papa John's and I was accosted by it. The guy I was watching was a

black guy and he didn't know how to swim when he started. How'd he go on? He didn't know how to swim. He's when he started how'd he go on you know how to swim and uh he was like well first i spent three years learning how to fucking swim and then they showed him in the pool and look i i'm certainly not a swimming expert i'd like to see woody uh like take a look at this guy's form but to me it looked olympic level like like okay like like he looked so good. Like I don't know

just the way he was like reaching forward with his hand. Like it looked like he had perfect form or at least a very consistent form. I'll say that. Like every stroke looked identical. He was he looked like a really good really strong swimmer by the time he got at the time of the interview.

Nice. Yeah that's cool. I don't think, I don't think swimming would have been a problem for me. I honestly just think it would have been the mental mental aspect of. Yeah. I think that's, what's all about honestly is, is like weeding out the people who aren't mentally tough.

You know, it's, it's, I don't feel like I've ever been mentally tested the way buds does. Right. And maybe a lot of people might like it. It's almost like, I hope I have it in the same way that your dog your labrador who has never ever shown any aggression would surely protect the

family if it came down to game day but he fucking wouldn't he wouldn't he would love that robber just like he loves you i hope that somehow i would rise to the occasion in buds, even though I've never had to do anything quite like that. But it's fun to imagine, right? Who I think Louis CK is the one from one of his really old specials had the joke where he's like, you know,

I sit in first class and all the time a serviceman will walk by me. And I always think about going, sir, thank you for your service. Take my seat. And I get so high off the idea of doing it that i don't need to do it you know what i mean it's like like what i don't know if you guys have like recurring like thought processes you'll have as you're falling asleep like little

things you'll run through one that is for years that i have is like if i was gonna rob a bank how would i rob a bank and i'll go through a bunch of scenarios like watch movies and look things up online and like in my head it always goes well but like i know as soon as i walked in i'd like go up to a teller and be like all shaky voiced and be like then i'd ask like if i could open an account and like why are you wearing a mask i was about to say a clown mask won't work so my uh my bank robbing plan had always been to go on halloween because i figured the mask isn't going to throw anybody off neither is the bag i'm going to be carrying and uh and i can blend right into the crowd because everybody's wearing a mask especially if you're in like a really highly trafficked area of trick-or-treaters figured you could get away pretty easily even on foot and then maybe cut through a nearby area and get in your your vehicle

but uh but these days everybody's wearing masks right like like yeah stroll right in there like and you know you could you could even have one of those prosthetic masks that's like your full face and hair and everything. But then having like the COVID mask like over the top of it, like it wouldn't look as bizarre, especially with some sunglasses. And I feel like you could definitely hide your identity that way. But then it comes down to whether you want to get the money that the tellers have or if you want to get into the vault. You got to get the vault. Vault money, man. Don't let that jump change. We're not petty criminals. High risk into the vault. You got to get the vault. Vault money, man. You don't want that chump change.

You guys are high risk, high reward. How much is in the register? Don't they have probably a couple thousand? Not enough. Not enough to change your life. Probably enough to change your life, I guess. You can probably clear out the registers and get $10,000 easy, but you can get into the vault and you probably get a couple hundred thousand dollars.

But you're doing 10 to 20 either way if you get caught i'm curious now what i've discovered is that the move is that you want to ask for the bank manager and then pop them based on every movie i've seen pop them in the nose and then beat him up a little bit until he's just cognizant enough to remember how to get into the the vault in these movies they never hammer him so hard that he gets concussed and then he's just useless on the ground. Ben Affleck in The Town, very great movie. If he gives you a hard time, you break one of his fingers and after that

he'll tell you if he wears women's panties, right? Major Payne style. No, that's Reservoir Dogs. That's exactly Carmen Cattell's character. I missed the panties line. Yeah, that was another fantastic one. The way to go about robbing anything, Triple Frontier nailed it.

I think if you're going to rob something, you got to go big and go to the cartel, man. Really? That's scary. Yeah. I mean, they're not just taking $100,000. They're taking $300,000, $400,000,000. Yeah, but it's the cartel.

Do you remember how that movie ended? So let's open that up right so those dudes had like almost a perfect plan except for their evac like they had they were relying on one vehicle and one helicopter that's not how special forces operate that's not how military operates You need to have multiple avenues out. So that could have been very successful. I know who I'm calling when I decide to finally pull the trigger on this. You're on the team, Nate. I'll DM you.

I looked at how much banks keep, like how much cash. And Kyle's right. Small banks, very small banks, it just says we'll have 50 grand there and larger banks will have 200 grand so in the vault yeah that's what it said okay in the building is what a lot of what you're going in the vault for like all the the boxes like getting all the jewelry the the stuff like that that people put there oh i hadn't considered that oh my god you're gonna you're trying to take the time to open the safe deposit boxes? You only open as many as you can. Taylor, you're off the team.

You're insane. You're insane. Kyle, Nate and I are robbing this thing without you, greedy. There's a silent alarm, but we have a guy right out front with an M60. He thinks he's part of the gang. We're leaving him. He's got a pig? First of all, that thing's incredibly unreliable.

No, he's in a juggernaut suit like Modern Warfare 2. Uh-huh. Yeah. Kyle, there's a parkour expert helping us for some reason. You have a heat-stroked hillbilly outside with a very unreliable machine gun from NOM. I don't like how this is... No, but you know what you just

said? Something that's very distracting. That's a very... That's right, we got a 7.63. A heat-stroke hillbilly very distracting. That's a very... That's right, we got a 763! A heat stroke hillbilly with an M60 machine gun! We're gonna need seven police cars and an EMT.

We could go for like a fun distraction ahead of a county fair in the parking lot that day. Why is there a bouncy castle here? There's a bouncy castle out there with kids, they can't start firing on us. They could always say kids get out of the bouncy castle, but you know how hard it is to get kids out of a bouncy castle.

That's why I'm still on the team, Taylor. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I keep all my real ideas close to my chest. I'm not spreading that. For some reason, that's always been the romanticizedized crime in my head is the bank robber.

You're lucky. Cause I skip right ahead and try to figure out how I'm going to survive in prison. That's a much worse go to bed story. Well, now that I'm watching odds, I'm doing that in my head too. I'm like,

now if I were Beecher, I wouldn't get raped because I know. No, no, I would've got raped there. Damn. Fuck. What if I did this? No. no no no i would have got raped there damn fuck uh what if i did this no oh shit definitely would have got stabbed there what if i made a joke no ah damn i'm not white enough to go with the whites not italian enough to go with the italians i'm gonna

find someone some middle ground or i guess that would be i guess you'd i don't think you'd have to worry about getting raped i i think they're getting raped. I think there's enough people who are willing. Taylor, I would rape you. Thank you. You have no idea how hairy Taylor's ass is. The whole body. The whole thing. Oh, everyone knows.

There's nature's lubricant. That's why it's in the spots that do the rubbing. Gross. Fucking disgusting. why it's in the spots that do the rubbing gross yeah i think there's enough willing people uh if we're talking about prison that you don't have to worry about the rape and and you know i mean to rape taylor you're gonna have to knock him unconscious and fuck him while he's unconscious which uh i don't think uh i mean it's gonna be hard to deal much that much damage to that cranium, first of all. Underestimate my seduction skills, but carry on.

And like I said, there's going to be some thin, pretty men who are down to take some dick. Oh, the pretty men. Okay, that's why I see you. Yeah.

Would you feminine, a more feminine gentleman is going to be definitely like, oh, yeah, I like to think I'm not pretty enough. I get in there the first night with Schillinger and I'm like,

so you're not going to try anything with me here and I'm like, so you're not going to try anything with me here? I'm not rapable. What does Belcher have that I don't have? Yeah. Feature. Yeah, feature.

That guy. You're right, Kyle. I don't know if I want to watch the rest. I think I'm going to watch an episode or two of Impractical Jokers after this instead of an episode of Oz because Oz is really starting to bum me out a little bit yeah yeah do that chis and i watched like binge watched like five or six seasons of that time of that one time in colorado that's a much happier show you know i was watching big jokers yeah it's great i had i'd only watched like some of season one up until i got hbo max and it has all of them on there this is a show i've i

haven't laughed out loud this much at a show in since the first time i watched it's always sunny in philadelphia it's great it's fucking great impractical jokers it'll oh yeah they're they're like it's cringe humor but it's it's palatable because they do the thing where like it's i was watching it wondering like, why is this so funny? And yet a lot of those social experiments you see on YouTube of pranksters aren't funny and seem mean. I was like, oh, well, these guys are talented as shit. And the impractical jokers, they're making themselves humiliated.

Like they're always the target. It's the friends being like, dude, how can we fuck with him and make him look like an idiot whereas a lot of those youtube social experiments it's like how can i go fuck with someone else and make them look like an idiot yeah yeah it's a very different flavor like you know they'll they'll have the earpiece in and the other three guys are back in like a control room watching on hidden cameras and they're telling him what he has to say to a person and and it'll just be the most humiliating things. You'll have to walk up and be like,

excuse me, I wet my pants. Can you help me? I wet my pants. Ask him if you can have his underwear. And he's just like, can I? Call him panties though. Could I have your panties,

sir? They do one where they had to, I watched this just yesterday they had to be uh the fucking personal trainer none of them look like the body of a personal trainer they have to go in there and one of them and they set up a private consulting thing and one guy walks up and is just muscle bound as shit ponytail and he's walking up to the guy and he and before they even say hi they go hey sal to say hi go what'd you do to get that ponytail cupcake or something and he just goes i'll take the loss and the guy's coming in for the training he like, whoa, are we stopping the training? And the Joker's like, it's over. We did it.

The other guys, they put them in charge of yoga studios. They don't know how to do yoga. They're like, all right, we want you to tell this guy how to do cardio. And they'll be like, the guy will ask, how long have you been coming to this gym? And one guy goes, 22 years. He's like, okay. He's like, all right, we want to tell you this guy to do cardio, but the only cardio you're going to do, do jumping jacks as fast as you can.

He's got terrible jumping jacks. He does another one where he's like, all right, now you need to lead a workout. One rep in every. You're going to grab this. You're going to curl. And done. And we're going to curl. It's so fucking funny.

It's like a feel-good show. I like that about it. I need a couple injections of that after Oz. Dude, nothing will ever bring back the part of my soul that Oz took away. Yeah, I think Oz took away more from your soul than prison did. It did. It did. Yeah.

Oz is worse than actually going to prison. Watching Oz was a more traumatic experience for me than actually going to fucking prison. Nate, have you seen Oz? I remember watching Oz as a kid. I remember getting up and

it was like on the only station that we had or whatever. Turn it on and be like, oh, my God, this is an adult. How young are you? And two, your parents let you watch Oz as a child? Hell no. My dad was sleeping. And I just got up and watched some TV.

And I just remember the black guy in the wheelchair. That's the only thing. And I remember a couple of the rape scenes and people getting stabbed. And I remember you guys were talking about they build up this guy. He's about to have an amazing story and then dead. That doesn't narrow it down. That's everybody.

Every episode. Every morning sneaking to watch early morning Oz. I just watched. I remember just watching it a couple times thinking like, I never want to go there ever, ever. And then you volunteered for it. And then I volunteered for it. Twice.

Yeah, after any prison looks great compared to Oz. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I admit, there had to be more normal people in prison than that show. More people just like you, Kyle, where you're just milling around doing your business. There were no people. I don't know.

I don't remember what kind of prison Oz was. I guess it was a state maximum security state prison. Yeah. Yeah. So that's just a whole different thing than what I did. I wish Oz was littered with subtle wizard of oz references some guy named flying monkey come on dorothy it's time yeah just they could have yeah belcher's nickname was dorothy if you try to like understand his arc through that lens click your heels three

times didn't work did it pussy get back over here and suck my dick. Oh, man. You know what? You're right. I need to take a break from that show. It's making me sad. Don't watch that show. I like watching it when I'm lifting because I'm like, yeah, I need to lift heavier so I don't get lift. Watch some old Arnold Schwarzenegger movies or something.

There you go. Watch the man in the barbarian. I'm like. I'm never going to look half like that. He can control his eating. There's also a lot of Deanna Ball and a lot of things. That's true. This is on that trail. Really?

Got that going for you. Body by Wendy's. Yep. You can get your macros really body by Wendy's yep you can get your macros pretty cheap on those dollar for 10 nugs that would be like a fun you know well someone's probably already done this but like

that 30 days later or whatever that McDonald's documentary was remember that super science if they did one like that, but it's like a bodybuilder who has to maintain gains on McDonald's and that's it for like two months. I don't think

any of them would agree to it because that's a lot of work to throw down the pisser if you've already worked to that point. That'd be interesting to see. Some of those bodybuilders they don't eat clean. They eat very, very they go into fast food restaurants all the time. They're just like, hey, I just eat just to eat. Really?

I thought that was like a power lifter thing because you'll see those guys. I thought I've seen like Jay Cutler and everything like he'll even talk about like he'll go to restaurants and they have like meals named after him. And when you see him, when you see him bring out one of those meals, that's not a clean meal at all. That's true. But with a body like his, how many calories is he burning if he had to lay in bed all day? 4,000?

4,000 or 5,000. More than, probably 5,000 or 6,000 even. He's got so much muscle. And his metabolism is just crazy enhanced and then all of the steroids on top of it that just help it yeah yeah he's killing it he can eat what he fucking wants you'd be okay at mcdonald's if you got the grilled chicken though oh that's fair now we had no grilled chicken no grilled chicken he's not here for grilled chicken only big macs what would you

be there for taylor what would you get at mcdonald's oh i mean if i go i just get like like a double cheeseburger or something nothing that much why what's wrong with that what's fucking wrong with the with the double cheeseburger or a uh a quarter pounder with cheese there you go yeah what's wrong with? The quarter pound of cheese has the best actual patty of anything there. The Big Mac, I don't want... That's not so much bread, dude. All I get are Big Macs, and I'm always disappointed

that I barely ever get them. Actually, if I go to McDonald's, it's for breakfast. All I get are Big Macs, and I'm always... I don't have Big Macs. I mean, I've had like three in the last five years, but that's all I would order. I love them. I love the Big Mac. I like the crunch of the pickles and the onions. I like the special sauce.

Big Mac's fucking delicious. I've only eaten one quarter pounder from McDonald's in my entire fucking life. It is a shitty grade of beef, and that's saying something because I'm comparing it to the beef they put on a Big Mac. Do you think these are chicken farms they're bringing in the cows from it's a different oh my god we almost let a cow

look at him he thinks he's a kangaroo the chicken sandwiches there are pretty good like not the make chicken but like the buttermilk chicken sandwich that's pretty decent that's right uh buticken, but the buttermilk chicken sandwich. That's pretty decent. That's right. I don't like McDonald's in general. Their fries are their best thing. If they're hot. If they're hot. I don't want cold fries from anywhere.

If I'm going to eat fast food, it's probably going to be... You hate Burger King, but I actually like those flame-broiled Whoppers. I think those are fucking tasty. That's the only redeemable thing about Burger King. The I actually like those flame-broiled Whoppers. I think those are pretty fucking tasty. No, I was going to say that's the only redeemable thing about Burger King. The Whopper absolutely blows away the Big Mac, but everything else about Burger King is trash.

It's me that doesn't like Burger King. Yeah, their meat is not my cup of tea. Yeah, you don't like that smoky taste, but to me it's the best part of it. And I like their pickles too. I don't know, They're fucking good. Wendy's, I only get the chicken sandwich if I go there. Spicy chicken

sandwich? Always the spicy chicken sandwich. Nothing else. I pony up the extra 10 cents. What about Five Guys? Oh, that's easy. You just get the fucking cheeseburger and fry and Cajun fries. Small fry, by the way. Small fry, though. Small fry. Yeah.

I don't need two bags of fries. If you order a large fry, they give you a backpack. It's not fucking raging. It's great. I don't even feel like five guys belongs in the same conversation. It's not fast food. It's fast food the same way like Chipotle is fast food.

They're on a different level above. Of fast food, everybody knows Chick-fil-A is the best. Everyone knows. I'm having a hard time disagreeing. I like Taco Bell if I'm fucking stoned. I can't eat Taco Bell sober.

That's just craziness. You have to be stoned. I don't know. we don't have cookout here oh cookout's really fucking good but like it's a whole experience i just like how they do their combos you know it's like everywhere else is like oh it's a burger and fries or chicken sandwich and fries there they're like what kind of quesadilla you want with that you're like wait what yeah it comes with a quesadilla and apple pie and an empanada yes and i don't i don't eat a lot of milkshakes i swear i don't but for some reason at cookout that is the normal drink

like there's like a little mention of coke on the menu and then 80 or 90 milkshake flavors like like that's what obviously you're supposed to be doing here so i usually get a mint chocolate chip or something but isn't that the best when you go into like a place like that like a culver's or whatever where you want the milkshake but you feel like a fat ass you don't want to order it but then they have to the employees have to ask would you like to add a shake and you're like well if you're gonna my arm, then I'll take an extra large chicken. No. No, just bring out the entire gallon.

Robin, I think I have a knack for sales. He got the extra large. This guy didn't want to shake. They don't even ask if you want the milkshake. What size milkshake would you like? Yeah, right? Do you have one of those Home Depot buckets?

Or even a bag? Canadians, they drink their milk out of bags and it is fucking weird. And they'll pretend that it's not, but it is. It is. no other countries drink milk out of bags as far as i know i've never checked but i don't know either art yeah we've got the best milk here but a lot of places that are regional are just super overrated um what a burger is so overrated like everybody in texas freaks out people think it is so overrated. I hate Whataburger. It freaks out.

People think In-N-Out is also overrated. Yeah. In-N-Out is an experience, though. Go on. To me, I'm from Michigan, right? When I joined the Marine Corps, I went out to California. 13 weeks of boot camp,

all the dudes from California were like, hey, look, like you have to go to In-N-Out. And I'm like, what's In-N-Out? They're like, it's kind of like a fast food place, but it's not. So I was like, all right, cool. So when I went to In-N-Out, like it was the whole presentation, like that they make the burger right there in front of you. They put the potato on the thing. They pop it through to make all your French fries, you know, the animal style, like that was all like something that was just like it was really cool to see it come together. So like when I first ate it, I was like, man, this is this is definitely the best thing I've ever had at a fast food restaurant.

But then the second one, I was like, yeah, yeah, I've only I've had it maybe once or twice. And I wasn't blown away by it. My my friend, Mitty, that I play a lot of games with, he's from Minnesota, and he's out in Sacramento right now staying with Chiz for a couple of months, and they had In-N-Out for the first time. Chiz introduced him to it, and he's like, this is garbage.

And Chiz is like, no, it's not. It's the best. What about the fries? He's like, you can't just put sauce on bad fries and make them good they're bad fries you just now they're just wet bad fries covered in sauce it's like they're still bad fucking fries five guys blows in and out out of the water you talked about the in and out experience you know what experience is too much for me my local cold stone like the fuck is happening with there there's all these like i don't want to you are you barb preacher the choir

what he's about to be racist all right go keep going no they're i'm trying to paint a picture without being an asshole but i'll just say it soy boys working at cold stone okay oh and one of them starts singing zippity doodah as he's working the ice cream on that cold stone with this different like slicing apparatus and then the whole like not the store but all the staff jumps in and sing zippity doodah together synchronized and i'm like this is fucking over the top. I like my, my estrogen spiking here. He's like, I lost my appetite. Are you sure, sir? I put in a sugar cone.

Little zippity doodah. Give me that. It is terrible when they, when you walk into any kind of establishment and they really, they just don't want you to purchase their goods and services. They want you to be part of the gang. And it's like, no just don't want you to purchase their goods and services they want you to be part of the gang and it's like no don't make me sing don't don't sing at me and also don't i you know you don't pay attention at cold stone when they're doing the little like grab the ice cream slap it on there throw some reeses in there and they start scooping around

you know i always would look away who cares and i assume they're doing some sort of some sort of well just like look at other people in line people watching i don't really care but like i assume they're doing some sort of ice cream magic some hibachi restaurant style thing one time i actually watched them and i was like yeah you just you're just moving the ice cream back and forth in the same area and you're slapping them around like you're Suzuki Yamaguchi put something in it that has a purpose right if you're like hey I would like chopped up Snickers bars or something then they just start working that in the

ice cream so what I but I guess you get plain ice cream it's just a show yeah you know what they should do is anybody puts gummy bears in their ice cream should be sent to reeducation camps what the fuck's that about who wants gummy worms in their fucking rocky road people that go to Cold Stone I guess people that aspire to work there put gummy Who wants gummy worms in their fucking rocky road? People that go to Cold Stone, I guess. People that aspire to work there.

Put gummy bears in their ice cream. They got a bunch of shit there. You can tell that the bad ones have been sitting in there forever. Right. The hearts of stale gummy bears topped off. I'm going to chip my tooth on this gummy worm.

I never go to those ice cream places, but like, like years ago, I went to one of those like frozen yogurt places where you do everything yourself and then you weigh your final product. I like that a lot better. Cause then I don't have to, you can go to like, it's a little expensive. It's like $8 a pint or something like that. But you know, you can go over there and like get all the Oreos you want or whatever the fuck you actually want your your eyes i'm not getting judged though right

that's the problem if you say woody you can have any ingredient you want go bonkers i put together like you know what i like chocolate sauce and marshmallow sauce and they have caramel here and a little more chocolate and marshmallows are good as well as gummies and nuts and cherries and this and that. And I ended up with this like slop that a pig would turn his nose at. And I think this is going to be this great like concoction. That's never been conceived before. You're going to call this the Woody. Sorry.

You forgot the yogurt. And then I eat it. It was like, it actually is, you know, banana banana splits are are timeless for a reason yeah better than more than any ice cream i would just rather eat an entire tube of cookie dough oh 100 yeah it's so much worse for it well yeah yeah it is but it's i don't even know i don't know we're stack ranking cookie dough against ice cream. This is like Clash of the Titans here. Neither of these are good foods. There's an easy answer. You're cookie dough ice cream.

Well, that's the best kind of ice cream. That's the only kind I ever get. I'd still rather just eat hunks of cookie dough out of one of those giant things. They have the places now that you can go eat cookie dough. It's like an ice cream parlor, but it's just cookie dough. Why would you tell me this?

Why would you tell me this? You're sabotaging me. This is your fault. Taylor starts typing. Cookie dough parlor, St. Louis. Where's the nearest one? Where's the nearest one to me where I can eat cookie dough at a bar? Somebody bought cookie dough

ice cream on Reddit, got all the cookie dough out of it, and made the worst cookie ever. Yeah, that's not good cookie dough in there. Oh, my God. Half-baked cookie dough. This is, all right, bookmark. Google Maps starred.

Yeah, Google Maps starred. Put it in my GPS for tomorrow. No, that looks pretty great though. That's so much better than ice cream. Do they have a 24-hour joint? I'm sorry, Kyle. Whenever I got out of prison, one of the things I really wanted was ice cream. Because they had ice cream in prison, honestly, but I didn't eat it.

And it was like cheap, like, you know. Ice. Yeah, it was cheap ice cream and uh i made maple walnut it was so fucking good because i like i made it myself with like real maple syrup and real you have an ice cream maker walnuts yeah we do too we haven't used it a couple years yeah i haven't i just used it that one time to make the the fucking maple walnut ice cream and what was the uh meal that you were hungry for when you got fajitas fajitas yeah i want fajitas yeah i i don't know i i like

fajitas a lot you know there's a lot going on with fajitas yeah you know the best part about fajitas if you order it at a restaurant everyone else wishes they got fajitas they did yeah everyone like look at that sizzling goes by the table smelling so good. Uh-huh. Nate, did you have a meal you were thirsting for? Man, I really wanted a pizza. Pizza. I feel you there.

Just a ton of food and it's basic. Was that what you were thinking? How do you feel about pineapple on pizza, Nate? I love pineapple on pizza. Christ. Hey, I recently just switched it up so I do pineapple and pepperoni isn't that the normal one though?

oh pepperoni instead of the ham pineapple and ham is the way I've always had it my entire life and occasionally I'll get bacon put on it you know but I just switched it up you know people dog on pineapple pizza but it's nice to put a little sweet in there no I want all savory I'm fine with it I just switched it up. You know, people dog on pineapple pizza, but it's nice to put a little sweet in there. No, I want all savory.

I'm fine with it. I would just never order it. I only eat pineapple on pizza if I'm at something where someone's ordered a dozen different kinds of pizza and it's just there to have a slice of. But I would never order a whole pie of just a pineapple and anything. Well, it's a good way to make sure that there's pizza left after the first, second, third one.

No one's going to be pilfering the pepperoni or the ham and pineapple pizza. I don't really like regular pizza anyway. I like that deep dish Chicago stuff. Yeah, but it's lasagna. Sure. All right. Then why I like lasagna. I love lasagna too. Call it what it is. Stop trying

to trick me all right here's your pizza and here's a fork and knife no no no no no no no what is that uh deep dish chicago deep dish uh pizza place like giovanni's or something giovanni's and luminati's are yeah favorite ones yeah i went there one time man i. I love pizza. I was so upset by that. That's not pizza. Does it take hours to cook? There's a scheduling involved. You can't just show up and order it.

Am I crazy? We showed up and ordered it. It took like 45 minutes to get pizza. I mean, it takes a while. It's not like a... Thin crust pizza, if you've got a brick oven, it's literally like an owl. It's like eight, I don't know, five minutes, eight minutes, something like that. The thing that we had to be baked when me, you, and Joe went.

And I think we had an issue with the bartender. An issue with the bartender? Yeah. I think he didn't bring Woody's root beer fast enough or something. Uh-oh. He's making this up. Are you a a karen no i'm not trying to it may have been me that had the problem i'm not trying yeah i do remember the root beer thing you're talking about it wasn't giovanni's it was uh i think it was a place that sold lots of like odd food like they had moose or something like that

and uh oh the deal was i guess i ordered a root beer but it took over like 20 or 30 minutes to get there because other people ordered alcohol and they had to have an actual bartender serve that but they held up my root beer for like 30 minutes or something it was pretty long that would piss me off too and be like hey you know we can see the root beer tap. I can do it. Give me the cup. It's right there. Yeah. But anyway. So I'm going to talk about a couple of those wonderful sponsors that we talked about earlier in the show. Oh, I was just talking about Postmates-ing some half-baked cookie dough to myself.

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So cheap you can't afford not to if you want to be safe online. There it is. So there you go. Order some delicious food at Postmates and secure yourself online with ExpressVPN. So, Nate, you're guarding the Texas border from illegal immigrants, I suppose. Anything actually happen or do you mostly just sit around looking at dirt or somewhere in between? What's up? So, I mean, they move at certain times.

We have 24-hour, I mean, we do a 24-hour complete watch, so it's broken up into sticks. But I feel that we've done a pretty good job. I mean, COVID slowed a little bit of it down. But, I mean, you know, I don't know how much I'm actually allowed to even disclose of. But, I mean, you know, I know we're in the hundreds for just a short couple months that we've been here. So, and hundreds of pounds of drugs as well. So, wow.

Well, yeah, that's unsurprising that that's something that you think about on the border, lots of drugs moving around. So is it ever, is it ever boring compared to the past? Oh,

every day is boring. Is it a grueling kind of boring or is it like it's kind of nice being bored at work no no so like i'm kind of a busy body and i like to actually like move around and if i'm going to be working like i want to be moving around and sitting in a vehicle for you know eight nine hours uh it's not fun it's 100 it's today it was 108, 107 here. And the air conditioners, the cars aren't designed to sit in place for eight hours at a time. All right.

I mean, those air conditioners stop working. This sucks. You're bored out of your mind. No radio? No cell phone? This is concerning. why does the ac stop working does the motor just need to run faster or like yeah so like you know the antifreeze like

it's supposed to be pumping through the engine um and it just doesn't pump that well i guess like like as soon as you get driving like it'll start it'll start working again but they make you just sit there so so you can't even putter around. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, it doesn't sound like a fun kind of boredom. I guess that answered my question. No, not at all.

That should be a higher priority. Why don't they give you guys some AC or at least one of those spritzing fans? Yeah. I don't know what a spritzing fan is going to help either, though. But to be honest, the vehicles are pretty new. A lot of the vehicles are a couple years old. They have 20,000 miles on them. The air conditioner, they stop working about five to six hours in.

Oh, my God. You can't just hold down the gas and make it work again? That doesn't work? Yeah, no, I do. I'll hold down the gas, but as soon as you let go of the gas, within like three, four minutes, it's back to being hot. I'd have that motherfucker on blocks with cruise control set up. Cinder block.

I like that. That's a good idea. You just notice that, you know, Nate, why aren't you sweating like everyone else? Why are you smiling? Because you're out of gas. How did your car get 180,000 miles this year?

Moonlighting as a traveling salesman. Did you guys see Herman Cain died? I know Kyle saw it. I liked Herman Cain. 999. 999. Herman Cain here. He did kyle saw it i liked herman king nine nine nine nine nine herman cane here he did uh he did a radio show here in atlanta really yeah and it i liked it i liked it a lot um i would listen i don't know maybe once a week something like that for a long time and uh so it's really fucked up you know he went to the coronavirus coronavirus

74 years old you know it's uh it didn't he have cancer also i don't know anything i haven't heard anything about that i just saw that next to his name stage four was trending and i clicked that and it seemed like maybe he'd recovered from stage four or he had it but he had i think he had liver cancer but i don't know if know if he still had it or not or if it was the COVID that got him. I'm sure it doesn't really matter once you're dead. You don't really care how you died. Yeah, well, it's become a political...

So he was anti-mask and he went to the Trump rally in Oklahoma and Tulsa and he was, you know, we're not wearing masks. The whole thing is a hoax. And then he died of COVID. And there's a bit of that leopards ate my face type thing going on.

That's what happens. What's that? Leopards ate my face? It's a subreddit where people are surprised that things do what things do. You know? Oh, okay. So he had a history with cancer and was in a very high risk group. Wait, how did he have

stage four cancer and then get rid of it? I thought that was impossible. I thought stage four kind of meant like, yeah, this is the end. I don't know, but I'm not Googling it, Taylor. I see you laying traps for me. I'm not doing it. It's definitely not a trap.

I don't know what I would have to gain from that but yeah I guess he got the Rona and it got him he was 74 that's prime Rona killing age too right in there yeah you don't want Rona at 74

I thought I had some kind of flu or something and then my girlfriend got tested and her test came back negative. And as of this morning, like I feel 100%. Like it was like a two-day thing where I felt like that mono feeling of like even trying to pick up very light things. It was like, God, I'm fucking exhausted. And then like that's as deep as I could get.

And so I was sure I had the Rona. And then nope. I kind of think you might have it too. I mean, all that went away. So if I did have it. You still got the Rona and then nope. I kind of think you might have it too. I mean, all that went away. So if I did have, you still got that Rona glow on you. You might be asymptomatic.

You've probably got it. Well, I'm saying my girlfriend went and got tested. You know, have you seen the statistics on those tests? I know some of them are bad, but I don't, I don't know.

All of them are bad. Well, I know some of them, they apparently fucked up, and it'll give false positives because it'll test for any kind of coronavirus, and then other ones will always give negatives because they fucked that up. It was like 20% false positive, 30% false negative. Why are we even doing this? I don't know. That's literally a coin flip.

That is absurd. These are pka stats i'm pretty sure you have if that's the case i might be asymptomatic with the rona i like that you got tested like by proxy like i um for we got like health insurance or something like that and jackie was negative for herpes so i was like well i guess i am too you know given that we've been a pair for 25 years now so i've never been tested for herpes but i'm pretty sure i don't have it yeah that's how i did all my std testing it's just like a couple girls call some girl you slept with eight weeks ago yeah hey anything new any no you're all good all right me too then yeah i hope i don't have it but if i do it doesn't really seem to matter i can breathe fine i've worked out just fine today and yesterday so it doesn't really seem to be impacting me

yeah it usually takes about three weeks there's's an initial phase where you're short of breath or you have a fever or diarrhea, and then it goes away for two to three weeks, and then it strikes. Strikes. Like it's a tactical virus. I'm making all this up. I'm just letting the viewers know that I'm making this up.

I was trying to add to it. I'm like, what symptoms does he have right now you uh typically get back to work for a bit fat-headedness uh you're behind on your emails that happens to people just got back on vacation i see where this is i really hope i don't get that shit i'm so i saw the russ Russians claim they have a vaccine and it'll be, it'll be like patented or whatever by August 10th is what they're saying, which is literally 10, 12, 11 days from now or something like that.

Maybe less, maybe 10 days. Exactly. Let's go with it. I'm not, I'm not lining up for any sort of vaccine until they work the kinks out. Because based on all the info that's been going around about COVID, a lot of people have no idea what they're talking about.

And a prominent scientist will be like, this is definitely it. And then two weeks later, they're like, all right, my bad on that one. But we were kind of close. I saw a funny story about trump where he had he was like he had this lady doctor talking about you should take zinc and hydrochloroquine or whatever hydroxychloroquine hydroxychloroquine or whatever and then people were like hey you know this uh woman that he's talking about got her medical degree in nigeria and attributes a lot of modern medical problems to things like ghosts and demons and needing to excise the spirits like she's having sex with you is the

cause of ovarian cancer she thinks that um fuck there's succubuses i'm trying to remember so that she thinks witches are a real thing she thinks that vaccines partially involve alien dna but conservators are really lining up to agree with her on hydroxychloroquine and not wearing a mask she's clearly like it's like oh so this is just like a couple of nigerian folklore things you threw in there that and that's we're going to be going by now i don't know that just made me laugh where trump tweeted her video this big expert is talking about this and people are like get a load of her paper here where she's like another important thing about endometriosis is to take account for the demonic side of it you need to

you know kill a chicken and do whatever the hell else you got to do trump the video where she was pimping hydroxychloroquine and then everybody points out all the other crazy beliefs that she has but he doubled down he's like nope she's right about this one yeah you know her witch stuff may be a little off base but the hydroxychloroquine analysis that's on point and then he tripled down you know it'd be funny is if this was the niger witch doctor's home run. This was the one with all the ghosts, all the demons, and then years from now she can be like, I fucking told you!

And the ghosts are real too! When you see a video of that witch doctor literally pulling a demon out of a COVID patient, you're going to be like, fuck, I was wrong. Holy fucking shit! He's got it there look he's got the demon in a fucking guillotine and good form nate are they making you like

and everything no so we pretty much just have to wear a mask anytime we go like within six feet of anyone so you're not alone in your car right so you and that guy are just covid buddies well that the person that we're with like we like we're living in a hotel so like we kind of like you're like family yeah you're all in with that guy right but when you interact with other people you mask up yeah did you guys see that uh all right you guys probably seen it but the china uh whatever over there in houston got shut down oh the uh consulate consulate yeah yeah i didn't hear about that what was the reason that was crazy uh trump pushed it out i don't know i guess it was because of the whole

like he thinks they're behind this whole covet thing and they're doing bad business deals and things like that yeah i think he's accusing them of spying and espionage corporate espionage and stuff like that taking maybe military secrets corporate secrets etc and they were using that consulate as part of the way that they launched attacks against our privacy, not privacy, but... Of course they're doing that. It's China. Yeah, that's how they invent things.

They get things we invented and then take them. So yeah, Nate doesn't know, but on the show, I'm kind of the guy who's maybe the least Trump fan. But on that one, sounds about right. That's what China does. You know, you don't hate everything he does just because Trump did it.

He did another amazing thing, which was, um, he's going to introduce like being able to buy drugs over the border. So, you know how we'll pay like $600 for an EpiPen, but in Canada, making up numbers,

it's like $15. He signed these executive orders, or maybe he's threatening to sign executive orders that are like, Oh, well now we can buy it from Canada. Did he do it? Well, yeah,

I know that he signed a, about prescription drugs, about like thousands per thousands of a percent, whatever. There's like four of them. I don't, I don't understand the legal reasons why, but it wasn't one order.

There were like four of them. They were all related. And it had to do with basically adding more capitalism to the way we buy drugs because they have local monopolies in america we have to buy it through america and they just jack up the prices we pay so much more for the same drugs that any other anybody else would and yeah oh go ahead you want to jump oh and i'm just gonna wrap it so now you can buy it from mexico if it's cheaper in mexico you can buy it through canada if it's cheaper in canada or at least that's where we're headed you can't do it today that sounds great that's awesome news to me my my assumption if it's an executive order is that it will never

actually come into effect uh congress and all the bought and sold people by the big pharma lobby and everything will eventually undercut it and say that's not allowed under the guise of consumer protection there will be someone who dies from a pill that they got from canada or mexico and it'll be a whoa we need to shut this down until we get it figured out and that temporary shutdown will be permanent people in the future this is going to be right i wouldn't doubt it the the legal power that he's claiming to be able to do this is convoluted to me. I guess somehow he like lost a course on DACA, the thing with the dreamer children that are like illegal immigrants that came here at two and they basically are and feel American, but they came here when they were babies.

And I'm sorry, they invaded when they were babies. They crawled right across that border. My mistake. Yeah. They crawled across the border. yeah they crawled across the border the army crawled across the border thank you stole the pampers and uh and and yeah so then they grow up they go to our schools and etc anyway i guess he he wanted to get daca people out of the country and he somehow lost the court case but there and i'm lost on this there's a way that they were able to look at that result and extract more executive power than they used to have and

he used that to lower prescription drug prices it's crazy to me i can't seem to understand it but um i hope it works yeah 100 probably won't but that'd be nice to not be beholden to these companies yes yeah it just feels like we're unfairly funding all their profits or research or getting gouged you know all of those fit i think i don't see why you could argue like well they have to make money okay sure but once you spread the prices across America, Mexico, England, Canada, etc. Instead of just raping Americans and giving everyone else a deal.

I wonder if the police is going to become a private sector. You know, like... Yeah. Literally RoboCop, yeah. Oh, with the defunding the police thing? Yeah, because I mean, at the end of the day, you know, cities are going to want

protection. People are going to want protection. That would be terrible. I'll tell you, if I fund the police and other people don't, I absolutely expect special treatment. If I don't get it, I'll fund different policemen. Oh, yeah. Dude, one of the weather vanes of a

dying civilization is privatized police forces. As soon as that happens, it's like, oh, I'm Mr. Police. Where am I going to work? Well, the Johnsons are paying a lot to protect their compound. Or you can accept the lower paying job protecting this normal suburban neighborhood. Oh, no, I'm going to go hang out at the Johnson's compound. Right. Or, you know.

And now I'm their private military more so than just a police force. It's scary. Puba Mercadurka over here just got caught doing this bad thing, but we're going to let it slide because he's the guy that pays the bills. That's what I like. Or this other person didn't do anything wrong,

but that person, but that police force, they don't like you. And you can't do anything about it. Sucks to suck. It sounds like the current state of policing. You think it would get better? You think if Jeff Bezos has a private army that it's better than what we have now?

Of course not. They would just be guarding Amazon warehouses. That's literally what they would be doing. You know what? Normally I'd argue against you, but Prime doesn't mean two days anymore. So fuck Jeff Be bezos fuck him he is the biggest winner out of this whole corona thing yes far and away he he made i think it was 60 there were 68 billion dollars amazon made 8 billion more than was projected like there he is just swallowing up

small businesses left and right like companies like Postmates, too, are sponsored. They're going to do really well. I think anything delivery-based, not only are they doing great during COVID, but there could be permanent changes in consumer behavior. Yeah. Why did Tesla, during COVID, what in the world happened there? They went from $300 up to $1,800? Something out.

I don't understand. Did his stock go up a lot? What is it? Yeah, like over the last four months. It's just – The truck has to be big. I would think. The truck seems like the biggest thing he's done.

I don't know if that stock has anything to do with those battery plants that he did in Australia. I was going to say that. Like on the surface, you and I look at car sales, but the valuation of the company might be based on battery innovation or something like that. Yeah. You know, he had some big project, I think, in Australia with like this battery powered like solar, solar, solar panels, charging the batteries and then running the cities or whatever. Yeah.

That whole project. But I don't know. He's got like so many companies and so many, uh, fingers in various pies. I'm not sure which ones are covered under the Tesla stock. Yeah. So that one is,

that was the, uh, that was the one like his cousin started and he backed it and then he bought it. It was like the, the tiles, the roof tiles. Yeah. They charge the batteries. Yeah.

He does it on a bigger scale, though, to charge massive batteries that would just power an entire city. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. I like that guy. I love Elon. I think Elon's one of the greatest people of our generation.

I want to see the hole that he digs. I want to be able to see the boring company. For some reason, I know he does the Tesla and he does the rockets and everything. Having a camera on there, watching it bore through the ground, that just seems satisfying and cool, doesn't it? I'm probably imagining it way bigger than it's actually going to be isn't that in la i i think so yeah but it's that just seems cool like really really cool when they like have you ever watched clips of when they made the tunnel uh from you know across the english channel or whatever it

it's cool it's fucking tight like you see them break through did they almost exactly it's so impressive the whole way or did that is it like they're lined up exactly because they went and then nailed it like it was like on the french or whatever or the british i don't remember which side on the british side they're like waiting there and that you can hear like the rum rum rum rum rum and then you like start to see like perfectly the cylinder coming out of the other side oh you're talking about the channel yeah yeah that there's some really cool videos lined up perfectly yeah exactly lined up it's really really impressive so i don't know maybe i'm thinking that his company i choose to believe they corrected it in the last 500 yards there's a big bump right in the middle yeah no i didn't think about the way circles work but uh if you build a tunnel that one car

can drive through it's a pretty small circle and then you make that two lanes and it's not just twice as large it's like a tremendous amount more dirt that you remove. And apparently his, like if you look at the channel, what is it? Four lanes? Like it's really big. The stuff that he's doing is on a much smaller scale, which doesn't make it bad. It just makes it easier. Maybe it's smart to be easier.

Well, also you don't drive through the holes that he's made. It's going to be for trains, right? You're carried on a maglev. The car pulls onto a platform, and it grabs the car, and then it magnetically fires you down this thing at 150 miles per hour. That's so cool. It might be a better way to solve the problem, right? Because if I drive, drive well now it has to be like suitable for human error it has to give me a little extra room a little space and i'll

go slower if a machine takes me it could go 150 miles an hour and have less room for tolerance like less smaller tolerances on either side like a roller coaster yeah. The Boring Company is also what made those flamethrowers. They aren't flamethrowers. I'm not as excited about that. Well, you shouldn't be because there's two other companies that make much better flamethrowers. I know. We've all seen your video pimping them out.

Or Nate hasn't, probably. I haven't seen it yet. Let me know if you want a flamethrower. We got a flamethrower guy. Yeah, I got a guy. A flamethrower guy. Like Frank. Yeah, yeah.

Flamethrowers are fucking awesome. They are really cool. But you said it wasn't even fun to use because you get so hot. The little one is fine. You don't get that hot with it the one that's like all handheld but the backpack model is pretty awful to operate i mean it feels like you're getting a sunburn you know i always you know when you watch world war ii movies or band of brothers or whatever there's always the guy going to the pillbox with the flamethrower

yeah and they always include one scene of him getting popped and it's an explosion when you really think about it i always thought like oh man that's rough but compared to everybody else dying and bleeding out on the beach that's probably the creme de la creme death because it's just dead right no no no explosions were enormous in the movies i saw oh wait i misunderstood so the explosion is is someone shooting his like he's got the big backpack with all the gas on it and he's flame throwing and then they shoot it and then he blows up into a million pieces no um i'm i'm not sure what you're describing but what actually happened is he band of brothers is it well i know but i've never seen that scene in Band of Brothers. I've seen what actually happens is, you know, the tank gets popped and then you're enveloped in a cloud of napalm and you burn alive for as long as that takes. Probably a good 10 seconds, 15 seconds of burning alive.

Maybe you inhale superheated air, I meant to say, and yeah now your lungs don't work in a painful way yeah you roast the inside of your lungs and then you go unconscious that's the way you that's not exactly what kills you but that's what makes you go unconscious in the pit who cares about how you die it's about when the pain stops right and uh but but no that would be horrific way you'd much i would much rather get shot. Yeah. Well, opinion rescinded. Now I know.

You know what's worse than either of those and really common? Just cancer. Like, you're talking about a really awful 15, 30 seconds. I bet they're like this long, slow, painful death that leads into like delirium and death rattles that is cancer that happens all so much worse you just fucking kill yourself if i'm if i'm getting the death rattles i'm gonna blow my fucking brains out plus what i've already beaten cancer once i don't like its odds on the second round it's regrouping yeah no no i, no. I think about Dan every day, the fan that died. And Kyle told him his cancer. And I forget the name of it.

It's cancer names. But he's like, ah, you're fine. That's a bitch-ass cancer. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. He was in med school, Nate. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a good guy. R.I.P. So, good topic, Nate. Yeah. He's a good guy. R.I.P. So, good topic, Woody. Way to drop it on that one, Woody. No, I had something I was looking to find. God damn it, I closed what I was wanting to talk about because I wanted to look up how to get delivery cookie dough. Taylor, you have HBO Max?

What made you buy HBO Max? You're like half of their customer base, single-handedly. No, I didn't buy it. My friend bought it, and he logged in on my TV, and so now I've just been watching Impractical Jokers all day. It's a background show just cracking my ass up. I love it. I had HBO Go for like five years. It's a background show just cracking my ass up. I love it. I HBO Go for like five years that way.

I don't have it anymore. Yeah. I forgot my own. I forgot the email I used for the Hulu I set up like five years ago and the password. And my friends are still using it. And I just yesterday went into my bank account and was like, you know what? Stop all payments to the hulu corporation because i couldn't remember i couldn't remember to turn it off and so i'm gonna get a text

tomorrow probably being like dude what the fuck how are we supposed to watch south park it's like you're two adults buy your own fucking tvs shit i do like that that's like the last bastion of a friend to friend pirating is logging in on other people's tvs and giving them your your monthly subscription stuff except when that it saves on your account instead of on the tv or whatever i guess it has to save on your account otherwise this whole trick wouldn't work where you're trying to watch something and it turns out they ruined your position in a show like nine episodes ahead yeah there was a time when like and then you'll start

the show on accident you're like what the fuck god damn it this is season three i don't remember who i was getting hbo from i think i got it from woody like i think i think me and woody had gotten it from a fan or something i remember that we had gotten an hbo login this is in like the early days of game of thrones and there were like 50 people on the same fucking account or some shit so and you can only have like two or three watching simultaneously so like my girlfriend and i would be in my living room like like watching the clock get closer and closer to like game of thrones airing like refreshing it so you have to close hbo open hbo close hbo open hbo and you're just trying to be the first to fucking click play on that shit and be like ah we didn't, we didn't make it. All right. Well, look, don't worry.

She's like, oh, we have to wait an hour? I was like, someone might pause it to take a piss. So what we've got to do. Does that work? You can steal it? Yes. Yes. So somebody would stop theirs halfway through.

And then at this point, the horde isn't refreshing anymore because they're not thinking like I am. The rest of the horde's got things to do. That's right. Not us. We're smoking weed and trying to watch Game of Thrones. And so every now and then I'd be able to catch it. Aha!

They're 20 minutes in. Don't look. Don't look. I'm rewinding at quadruple speed. And then we just... And I loved the idea that they were going to come back from taking a piss, making a sandwich, stepping outside to smoke a cigarette,

whatever, and go, alright, let's finish this bad boy out. Let's see what the Khaleesi's going to make out of this one. And they're like, the fuck? What do you mean? I really love the idea that the person who did that was the actual paying person. The guy who's actually paying whatever HBO cost per month at the time.

That was great. I went the other way. I was like, I don't know. This show goes on HBO Go at, say, 10 o'clock. I'll just do Woody Craft shit or something until 3.30 a.m. when no one else wants to see it and get right in. See, but then you've got to stay off Reddit for three and a half hours. And you've got to turn your phone off so nobody fucking texts you. Can you believe it? get right in. See, but then you've got to stay off Reddit for three and a half hours and you've got to turn

your phone off so nobody fucking texts you. Can you believe it? Jon Snow died. I can't deal with... Yeah, right? I can't deal with spoilers. It ruins everything. Ruins stuff. I never got into that. Game of Thrones? Never watched an episode.

I literally thought it was the best show ever aired on tv in its peak and uh like maybe you have experience with shows like this that end so poorly it makes you re-evaluate the stuff you liked you know all those little hints and teasers and things you were trying to figure out these complicated little drops turned out to be bullshit stories that weren't going anywhere maybe things that were invented by figure out these complicated little drops turned out to be bullshit stories that weren't going anywhere. Maybe things that were invented by the fan base,

these intricate fan theories were just, it was never went anywhere. Yeah. It, I don't want to talk about it. Have you seen that Hannibal TV? Yeah. I like that a lot.

Yeah. I've watched through that a couple of times. Yeah. That's really a lot. I've watched through that a couple times. Yeah, that's really fucking good. That actor's Mads Mikkelsen. I think he's a great fucking actor. He's so creepy. He looks like a cannibal. 100%. He looks like he's up to some nefarious shit

when he's off screen. The first time I saw him act, I think um was as a james bond villain and uh in casino royale car yeah he had that thing across his eye and every now and then his eye would bleed blood yeah and he's like i assure you it's nothing sinister just a derangement of the tear duct and i'm just like oh god just the way you said that is pretty fucking sinister he's just a creepy motherfucker. So he was a perfect Hannibal.

That was good. That was a good show. Woody, you need to watch that General Sam video. I watched it. I watched it. Yeah. I love it. I fucking love it.

So for people watching, he made a video on Tarkov. And I thought he made a pretty effective point, although I won't be joining him, which was this. Tarkov is this game. It's high tension. And the whole time you're sort of on edge and trying to escape from Tarkov, right? And at any moment, one bullet can just end your day. It can change your fortunes in a significant way. But he's like, what?

fortunes in a significant way but he's like what when you get near the end when you're almost out suddenly then you're like not fair game anymore suddenly then you're supposed to be protected if you almost make it out i should just let you make it out the rest of the way he's like that's bullshit and he's a camper he camps the place where you escape from tarkov they call it the exfil He camps the place where you escape from Tarkov. They call it the X-Fill. And he found these really sneaky places that you wouldn't even think you could be. Like, I jump on your head, then you stand up, then I jump in a tree, and I'm completely invisible. And I kill you from there.

And he likes, he's like, you know, it's one thing for me to just take all your stuff. But he gets even more enjoyment from taking all of your stuff and knowing that it ruined your day he had audio of a guy who was like what what is even happening and he's like that's a grown man who almost cried that's good that's good i like that i love the part where he's like he's like y'all y'all are playing this thing like it's like you're a fucking british red coat or something and there's honor involved no sir raise your visor they shan't fire on us now they haven't the gall it's like yeah exactly i agree with him 100 i think extract capping is completely

a legitimate tactic i love that it pisses people off. And rust, you think anybody gives a fuck about some morals or scruples or anything like that? That's a little different. They care about it, but

it makes people mad, but you don't just run and cry. You get your revenge or you avoid right like like that's the thing about that game that's because you can right you kill me in tarkov i'll never see you again which is why rust is better okay we can for we will form a grudge against one another i'll know where you live and you'll know where i live and we'll hate each other and we'll spend the next week plotting against each other and there's like a global chat so we'll be talking shit like i've had guys be like don't go to sleep don't go to sleep pussy we're coming for you tonight and you're like well they're probably

lying but i guess i'll leave my game on and turn the volume up so loud that I'll, it'll wake me up if they start blowing into my fucking house. Yeah. It's a, it's a mean game. What the fuck have you linked here? Taylor? Why is Chris Hansen team? Man,

Chris Hansen has really. I was just saying that I don't see how this can help him catch pedophiles. Read it. Read it. Read it. It says the insane, insane clown posse teams up with Chris Hansen. Teams up with Chris Hansen to catch an alleged sexual predator. Chris Hansen says he is proud to be a juggalo after collaborating with ICP to

take on a common enemy. The common enemy that allies insane clown posse and Chris Hansen are child rapists, which isn't it pretty easy to make common ground with anyone over that? How, how, how, how are violent J and shaggy to dope going to help out with the,

the, the fight against child predators? Did they make a song about it? I'm being serious. There's a play button here. I don't want to play it. Have a seat. No! This is literally a song. Have a seat with Chris Hansen

featuring Shaggy J and Shaggy Too Dope. Oh my god. And Maul Levy. We can't play it, but I will check it out later for some reason chris hansen spent an hour talking to these goofballs in their full makeup chris bring a hot chick on halfway through though he used to have like a certain authority and trustworthiness to what he's doing right yeah now like then he came on our show uh-huh and since then it's really is that what i have to look forward to i mean maybe i mean like he gave us coffee mugs uh that

had they were like personalized coffee mugs that said i don't know something funny like sit down right there or something like that have a seat over here kyle or have a seat over here taylor yeah and then we found out that he never paid the person who made all those coffee cups and like it was like five thousand dollars worth of merchandise that technically he stole he defrauded and it was a whole legal case and i was like evidence i was like am i have i been drinking my coffee out of fucking evidence and a federal racketeering case or something? What the hell is this? 60 days in more. Yeah.

We're going back. Anything with the insane clown posse attached immediately loses all credibility with me unless it's Faygo or Faygo. That's it. What else do they have? That's all I've got. What's Faygo?

It's their brand of soda that they enjoy. It's like a cult following of ICP people drink Faygo. And it's good? It is good. I've never had a Faygo. I like the orange soda to begin with. It's probably my favorite soda. That's not one of the main three or four that everybody likes.

While their tours are canceled unfortunately the juggalos all i ever think about whenever i see icp like anywhere and especially when they're trying to like act like they're badasses was the time that they were on the howard stern show and uh what he knows and they're on the cat they're in studio on the howard stern show and this guy calls in and he like i don't know he starts talking about how they're pussies or something he's like i'd kick the shit out of these guys these guys are pussies violent j my ass i'd stick my foot up your violent ass or something like that and violent j's like yeah bro i'd fuck you up real good and he's like all right well i'm on

7th street i'll be there in five minutes. He's like, wait, what? He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm walking over. And Howard's like, well, it sounds like you might want to step down to the lobby, handle this like a man, Mr. Violent J. And he's like, well, that's not really how I handle things, bro. I don't know. And then the guy on the other end is like, yeah, pussy, I'm here. Howard gave him no quarter like howard was just you want me to come up or are you coming down howard could have been like yeah yeah but

that's insane no one's gonna actually go down there and fight it and like you know been this sort of like it's okay type thing but howard's like yeah i guess you got to, huh? He's downstairs. He's downstairs right now. He's calling you out, Violet J. He's calling you out. I mean, we could call you Pussy J if we had to. I'm making this up. I mean, I wouldn't call you a faggot on the air, but I'm getting that sort of feeling from you, Mr. J. You know, the makeup and everything, I thought you were a badass.

This is Howard when he was cool still. And who knows what the guy on the street, and the guy's like, I'm down here, pussy. I'm down here. Let's go. And it's just like, God knows what that guy looked like. It would have been hilarious if it had just been like some... Bagel boss.

Bagel boss. Literally a midget. But like, I wouldn't want to... I don't think any of us are going to accept a challenge from an unseen person down on the street, right? If a person says he will kick my ass, well, he may have an information advantage on me, right? That's right. He could have been watching me for quite some time.

Yeah. I mean, especially if the guy's a celebrity. He knows what Violent J looks like. Yeah. And he's not an impressive individual physically speaking not really but this guy sounds very confident that he's gonna kick your ass and he's down on the street so i'm starting to get confident he'll kick my ass like that's how that would go he'd know better than me i don't know him he's probably some 27 yearold yoked and diced fighter. Yeah.

They say to stand up to bullies, right? There's a reason bullies are bullying people, because they're bigger and they're at no risk. Yes. You know. What's that? You know. Yeah, I know. I'm on this article I linked

going through the slideshow of pictures of gathering of the Juggalos 2019. Not safe for work, right? Definitely not safe for the show. A lot of tits out. Oh, yeah, the juggets. The juggets. And there's women wearing bibs

that say blowjob bib. This fat bitch is asking asking about a cum shot this is like this is very dirty it looks stinky oh yeah and then there are some people you see where it's like were they on their way to the bank and they took a wrong turn they look totally not like also way less people in makeup i thought everybody like had to be wearing makeup to be part of the the crew it's the crew. I hate these people for one thing. It's fucking retarded. On the other

hand, I heard that I think they got classified as a terrorist organization or organized crime or something like that. A gang. That's what it is. Thank you. That's bullshit. It's just a music group that has terrible taste and everything.

Like, there's not a gang, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely not a gang. This is just a bunch of weirdos seemingly having a good time. Seemingly having a great time. It's just a couple of losers getting way more pussy than they're entitled to wearing makeup. Absolutely blown away at the number of black people here. Taylor, they might be on drugs at these shows.

I think they are. One guy was wearing a sign that says, I have drugs. He's the one you go to. You're under arrest. Do you think the caliber of women that they get, though, is... It is... It's not a bell curve it's a camel hump it is either absolute garbage one out of ten or you're like what in the world is she doing with these guys like that if you go through the slideshow you'll be like that looks like what

i would imagine a juggle at or jug at and then the next one you'll be like that's that's shocking I'm watching an obese man drink yeah but I assume his beer out of his own shoe right now I'm going through it right now like on slide two the redhead is pretty nice right yeah what's I'm on so if you if you go to that

link yeah yeah I got stuck on the video oh and slide to his boobs oh this sorry heavy heavy guys in a oh you were warned I got stuck on the video. Oh, and slide two has boobs. Oh, there's a lot of heavy guys. Oh, you were warned. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I said, sorry, everyone. Oh, I thought you showed the titties and you were going to have to go back and edit.

Oh, more boobs. These are not great boobs. No, those are terrible boobs. The blowjob bib chick? Yeah, we're of one mind with titties. Oh, if you want to see some nasty nasty boobs go to the chick with all the acne on site on uh slide eight there's like i don't know what she's done to that bra to make the bra look normal but her boob is like melting out the bottom if you want to go to the worst photo i've seen so far on this go to image 59 i'm trying to find good ones taylor's in the advanced placement course on the juggalo viewing i've seen like on my way to 59 i've seen two hot chicks and three ugly chicks and one black guy

wearing us that's that's a um what is that he's wearing that's a jockstrap that is a jockstrap he's wearing in public the hot chicks are not with hot guys and then by the way they're not total like 10 out of 10 la hot chicks but you know they're serviceable hot chicks yeah yeah there's some there's some cute girls with nice bodies in here, and they're with some real cracked out, dope-themed, dog-looking dudes. They look like, I mean, just garbage human beings. Oh, this guy's got a full monkey costume on, riding a moped.

He's got the right idea. He's having a blast. High as shit. Oh, I like the girl with the I have no tits top. She's owning it. Oh, I remember passing that slide like 30 slides ago. I went to image 59.

I had every plan of showing it to the show. I think the no tits girl's cute. Yeah, I thought I'd be alone in that observation. No, no, no. I don't like those gauges'd be alone in that observation usually no no no i mean i don't like those gauges she's got in her ear and and i really want to i really want to go after her with a pair of needle nose pliers and get all that shit out of her face but after that we'd be in a good place yeah just like a fish just pull that i really feel like i could have really could have

feel like i could have done some damage at one of these gatherings. I think we're all coming to that conclusion right now. I'm seeing a lot of the guys in the background. I'm feeling like, dang, I don't have to go to Walmart to feel better about myself. Exactly. I could walk in there and they'd be like, who's the skinny guy? If you want a real self-esteem boost,

go to an ICP concert. Yeah, Nate, I think you'd be the hottest guy in the whole Insane Clown Posse concert. Is this guy eating on stage with the girls upside down? Is that where you are, 77? How are you guys already that far?

I'll be clicking rapidly. What, do you go back to 76? Fat Mac. Oh, shit. I can share that one it's very very fat mac that's grand mac that's a grand mac oh wow yeah 77 they're eating pussy you know i don't think the masks on 79 are gonna work at all oh this this-American fellow has a water gun which attaches to a bottle of Diet Fago Cola.

Of course it does. Of course it does. Wow. Oh, here it is. A lot of these guys just wearing Speedos. This is weird. The amount of jock straps is too many. There's not a decent hairline in this

entire crowd. Everybody here looks like they're on hard drugs. These are methamphetamine-using crackheads. You can tell us which ones aren't on meth. Have you seen the new Only Bleeds Me Blade pictures with the teeth? Oh, he's looking great. Whoa, holy shit. 105, there's a guy with no arms but hands, and the

other guy just has his penis hanging out. Wait, no arms, but he has hands? Yeah, but he has no arms. His hands go like this. Just straight out. Alright, chat. I'm going to be... Chat, I'm used to streaming. Don't go to 105!

Don't go to 105! I have a plan. I am going to... I'm going to slowly scroll up and stop before the penis. I can pull this off, everybody. You are not going to pull it off. There's no way you can get to the baby hands without showing the cock.

I can do it. Hang in there, everyone. The cock is below the hands. Yes, that's why it can come up. Oh, then you've got you gotta go down you mean well the image is going to slide up the image is going to slide up slowly here like this kyle hey hey you do you see you picture oh okay okay tell me when it's on the screen uh i'm almost there all right we need hands but no arms It's there

How did he take his sunglasses off? I was about to say How is he ever going to get them back on? How is he going to get his sunglasses back on? Did someone give those to him? And he is far too You can tell Why is he sitting next to that guy with his cock out?

Why does that guy got his cock out? There's a lot of questions that are going to go unanswered. Here's how you know we could all get so much pussy at this thing, we'd end up with an STD in an hour. Because the girl in the back of the cart? There's a decent body. Look, not a good body. A five, though. A five out of ten body on the back. She, not a good body. A five, though.

A five out of ten body. She's not misshapen. That's average. That's an average American woman back there. She's from the heartland. Kyle, I resent this. We haven't seen her turn around yet. She's got red lips.

All I'm saying is that Jerry McNohan's and Billy my cock's out have that girl riding dirty with them. Literally. I bet this place smells so bad. I think it's hot out based on that dude's testicles. Go to the next thing, though, and that's an actual decent body. Look at that guy's testicles.

He could sit on them. I think he's wearing a kilt. That's how you can tell it's hot out. Yeah, that's what I was saying. It's sweltering out there. I think he's wearing a fucking kilt. All right. I have to preview pictures before I show them to people. Oh, you definitely have to preview pictures before you show them. I don't think I can show the next one.

I think the redhead back on picture number two is probably one of the hotter chicks in the whole thing. And I don't even like redheads. Oh, for shame. Yeah, I prefer redheads, but... Actually, 114 on her knees is really pretty to me.

Vegan.com? I'm sorry, 110 on her knees. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is on slide 15 there. Are we going through again? Yeah, I'm going through for a second round. Look at those chompers on that chick. She looks like she can bite a hand off.

All right, I'm done with this. And I'm done. I'm tired of this. Just went down the rabbit hole on that one. I have to get back to 15 just to see AOC. Yeah, she's in a bikini. It's not much of a lookalike, I suppose.

Not a perfect match. No, it's just me being a jerk. Just an observation. There wasn't one seltzer in that entire barrage of pictures. I didn't see a button-up shirt in the whole bunch. It was like lights and a lot of people

just carrying around full fifths of glass bottles of Jack. Yeah. Jack is like the worst of those you could buy. It's terrible. Jack Daniels you're talking about? Jack Daniels. It tastes bad. It's gross. I hate it. It's very harsh. I'd rather It tastes bad. It's gross. I hate it.

It's very harsh. I'd rather have Jim Beam. It's cheaper and it tastes better. It still doesn't taste great. I'm outside my depth here, but I recall Jack and Coke not being so bad. Yeah, the Coke saves. You need a lot of Coke and very little Jack. Coke's carrying the water on that one. Do you like Jack and Nate?

Me? Nate. No, Nate. What's that? It said, do you like Jack, Nate? Me? Nate What's that? I feel like nobody likes Jack It's just aesthetically pleasing The bottle looks cool You know who I always thought liked Jack Daniels was Harley And I met him

And I was like, yeah, we'll get you some Jack Daniels We're going to the liquor store And he's like, I hate that I hate that stuff I hate it I'm like, really? Like every video, you're like, Jack Daniels. We're going to the liquor store. And he's like, I hate that. I hate that stuff. I hate it. I'm like, really? But like every video, you're like Jack Daniels. And he's like, yeah, it's, you know, it's funny.

It's a character I'm playing. You should know that. Yeah, right, right. Truth comes out. I'm a big vodka fan. He's like, yeah, but you ate cereals covered in vodka that one time. Yeah. It was funny, right? Yeah. You know what I did after I turned off the camera, poured the bowl out.

That's exactly what I did. Yeah. Kyle, Kyle had a Nate. You don't know. Kyle had a channel called FPS Russia where he was the biggest gun channel on YouTube on the internet for many years in a row and he was a pretend Russian. So he'd do videos where he would eat bowls of cereal out of vodka and then go, yeah, that one video and then you would go

like shoot an M60 or shoot a rocket launcher or drive a tank or whatever you're going to do. So, yeah, that was that was the back, that was the, that was enough backstory to not give you any actual information. So... Taylor, do you know where the only That was enough backstory to not give you any actual information. Taylor, do you know where the only use me blade picture is his recent smile? Have you seen it? I think it's on our...

We're going to get my people on this. Thank you, Kyle. That'll help. Oh. If you search only use me blade on Imgur and scroll down enough, I think you see his penis it's somebody's penis how big is it is it larger or smaller than that man wearing the kilt at the

juggalo concert comparable but this one's uncircumcised look at that that's how long it took i got the picture um let me figure out how to share this copy message message link? Then we'll do it. I think I have to grab this. Oh, you got it, Taylor? Blade teeth. Yeah, so he's... I'm sorry.

I asked at 9.52pm, hey, can I get the picture of Blade's teeth? At 9.52pm still, it gets sent to me by Middy, and somebody in the Discord goes, you were way too quick on that. And Middy still, it gets sent to me by Mitty and somebody in the Discord goes, you were way too quick on that. And Mitty goes, it's my desktop wallpaper.

Mitty, thank you for helping the show. If you watched this part, my gratitude. Dude, Blade. I think there's a video, too. Look at Taylor's head in the header! Oh, have you seen that? They're moving their eyes further apart, and then look at the bottom right.

They've moved the icon of my eyes farther apart in the bottom right icon also. Oh, Jesus, Taylor. That's it. I like this one. I know. Do you think the George Foreman chicken will fix this?

That was the number one comment. No, he's beyond the chicken. No, no, no. Chicken's good. Chicken's good. Teeth could grow back. Is he shark? How many teeth has he lost since we had him on the show?

We had him on the show in the last week. All of them. He has lost all of them. He has lost all of them on the show. Did he? You know, like you don't not everyone smiles okay okay you're right you're right now the front center tooth he'd recently chipped it right but look at with what a fucking chainsaw he was flossing with a bike chain i don't know how he

chipped it but i'm looking at that tooth and the one that's next to it and still there. And I don't know what is happening there. And that like the bottom half of his tooth seems alive and the top half seems dead. This is a phenomenal. I think you just nailed it. I have no idea. I don't know how the bottom half would be not dead. Well, it's slowly dying, just like the rest of it.

Does it keep dying slowly down? I don't know. But it to me looks like the white part chipped off and he has the root there and then i didn't realize that on his right the cameras left is a whole bunch of missing teeth like if you look down the lane there there's a bunch of missing teeth is this photoshopped that struck me right away no that's those are his teeth i immediately noticed that there were like five fucking teeth gone. I agree with you.

I did too. But there's a video of him talking, and in that it's not as clear. You don't get this kind of view. Fair enough. He actually seems to go out of his way not to show his teeth, right? When you talk, people smile. They move. And also, when he says words, says words words for example he says words because

he has no more f if the f if they're gone you need your teeth to go so he's getting all new top teeth he said in the video he's very excited about it all his top teeth are going to be like uh and i want to say i'm just getting a boogie teeth he's going to get a whole new batch of top teeth well let's hope he doesn't do that what he's got going on right now is better than boogie teeth just call it a fence installer this guy used to put tile floors in bathrooms maybe he can help i got fake teeth too i live in a glass house on that one yeah they look good oh well thank you i did go back afterward when they were too big and i was like you gotta trim these down i'm looking absurd out there and he did so i thought i was gonna get

fake teeth on the bottom because i did that i bit the fork i'm actually i'm an incompetent eater i suppose and uh the front center one was just a little bit loose just a tiny bit and they're like the normal fix for that is like a crown or something but with mine being so compressed and crooked you can't just throw a crown on it and i'm like they might just pull it and give me a good set i could come in with like great bottom teeth in a day you know have you ever considered like like first of all i never noticed that your bottom teeth were a day. Have you ever considered, like, first of all, I never noticed that your bottom teeth were a little crooked, but you've mentioned it a lot. So, like, have you ever considered getting those Invisalign braces? Actually, yeah.

It's not moving quickly on it, but I went to the dentist for the thing and I got a referral for an Invisalign dude who was different than the one my son went to. So I think I'm just going to meet with both and see what's up. Yeah. Yeah. I think we got the same bottom tooth. See that? Oh, yeah. A little snag on there.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right. I see what you're talking about. I think I out snaggle you. But yeah, mine's advanced over years. Like, so what happens? I guess your teeth compress right

in sort of an arc and most people have a nice solid arc and they stay in place but once one comes forward they have a tendency to get started coming in more out of alignment over years so did you ever have those kids like when you know you're at the age where your teeth or your adult teeth are growing in i remember this one girl like just had the most terrifying teeth because they started growing in out of the roof of her mouth like two centimeters behind where the teeth were supposed to on the bottom and the top and so it looked like she was smiling at you from far away than the rest of her body was and eventually they got they got that it looked like there was another person inside her mouth smiling at you. Yeah.

She had eaten a little person whose mouth was smiling. Yeah. Did she get braces? Yeah. Yeah. It's got, she was one of those kids where it was like braces on at 10 braces off at 15, like five solid years.

I had braces. Yeah. For like two and a half years. And I never wore my, I never want to retain her. I didn't do my, um, my rubber bands and all that.

And eventually he was just like, I mean, we're kind of close to the goal, I guess. And, and I was like, just, just take them off.

It's close enough. We're as close as we're going to get. Perfect. I do. Great. And then he's like, all right, took them all off.

And he's like, all right, so you're going to make sure to bite very carefully. Don't grit your teeth or anything. And I was like, well, I'm going to a hockey tournament in Chicago this weekend. I play goalie. So I'm going to be written down a lot throughout it. And he's like, yeah, that's the kind of thing you don't want to be doing. And I'm like, well, I'm going. And I did that. And like just over that weekend, because they're still so malleable, I could tell a lot of the teeth moved back so like what kind of mouthpiece did you have did you not have the one the one the ones that's like perfectly formed to your uh nope no well i couldn't have one of

those because i hadn't like i had just gotten my braces off i'd have gotten a brand new one at that point like when i did uh when i did like mma stuff like I immediately got that nice, wonderful mouthpiece that you boil in water and then it's perfect. Well, 16-year-old me thought, fuck it, and did not do that. Just kept on doing those basic ones and it messed my teeth up again. And it ended up not mattering at all. Now so many of my teeth are fucking fake. Total waste of time. Looked like a goober for no reason for two years.

Yeah, so there's underbites and overbites. Hope had a crossbite. Hey, got that in common with her nice oh did you have that too yeah so um she had braces on for like ages i'm gonna say like 11 to 17 or something because they put them on with the idea that her baby teeth would come out soon enough and they didn't you know it was like i don't know she's like 16 years old and they're like well i guess we'll pull them or something and uh and they needed them to be out out before they could take the braces off and yeah as an adult not that i could have known i'm not an orthodontist but i'm like man i don't think she had to endure braces for as long as she did you could have just put them on a little later. Cause they got held up by this baby teeth still being their situation.

Yeah. A really good friend of mine, normal teeth everywhere, but he has like one tooth over here that is still a baby tooth. We're like almost, he's 30. That's returned. There just was no adult tooth above it.

And so like, he just decided never to put another thing on top of it he's like yeah if this ever falls out i'll get a fake one but and it's just like has he got x-rays one little one yeah yeah and it's like yeah there's no because like some people don't have wisdom teeth like i don't have three of my wisdom teeth at all i have one up here you could get one veneer it seemed like that'd be an easy fix yeah because it's my understanding when they apply veneers they take your regular teeth and just fuck them up they're like we're gonna make these half their normal size they grind the front

off yeah yeah and and we're just gonna cover them with a perfect covering so he sounds like he's halfway there yeah he could they probably have to put a post in it though because if unless there's like a root place i don't know i don't know they need know. If it's a baby tooth, I don't even know if those have real roots. They probably need to pull that and put an implant in. I don't know if you can put a veneer on a fucking baby tooth. No, that's what I'm saying. I wouldn't imagine

you could. It'd probably be a very expensive veneer that comes out and you're fucked. Yeah, he needs an implant. Yeah, he needs an implant. So I he needs an implant. So I've got that video here of the only new Blade Lisp missing tooth. Oh, that's mean. All right, I'm going to watch it.

Are you kidding me? I linked it because I knew this was exactly your style. First of all, I like Blade a lot. But look, fix your teeth, bro. So the way we do this, Nate, is you just click video and then just open it up and then just pause at zero and then Woody will count us down so we can watch in sync. Okay. Do you have the video open at zero?

Yes. Which one are we watching? The bottom one. The most recently linked one? Yeah, the missing tooth one? Yep, the missing tooth. It's four minutes. You might not watch the whole thing. Yeah, we'll watch just a bit. I haven't watched it, so I don't know really.

Ready, set, play. I had a little accident and I chipped my tooth, so there's like a little Lisp. I don't know if that's the rule of Taurus. A streamer house? Who knows? Your motivational speech saved my life.

Don't care about my stream. I'm literally reading your guys' comments. I'm on St. Anonymous as far as like yesterday. So I've actually been taking care of the health. Rick Rolls. No. Preston Evans, what's good is get it. He's back boys

I know it sounds ridiculous it really does ridiculous first shot of the night I'm giving toe updates X for doubt watch his shots by the way yeah

those are appropriate size it literally got knocked size oh am I wrong lower I want to talk to Casey a bunch of times about the whole RV trip thing dudes for the audio only people he was like twisting a bottle cap off or some shit in his mouth

and he just snapped off a huge chunk of tooth. They weren't pliers? I could be wrong. I'm not sure. I could be wrong, too. He looked at me like, when he bites the bottle cap

and goes to twist it off like that. Are you having relationship problems? Be honest. No. No shit. Because that is the furthest from the fucking truth. I'm a lazy boy. Huge penis.

Everyone knows this. No, we are really good. He's really lost weight. He's looking good. Really good. Like, amazing. He's losing weight like an AIDS patient loses weight. All right.

I'm muting it for the record. We can probably stop now. I'm starting to feel bad. This is what I was saying where I couldn't tell how many teeth he was missing. Because you don't just get to see deep into his mouth like you do the smile picture. I think he has more teeth here, though, than he does in that picture. Possibly. Possibly.

His thumbnail looks well manicured. Good God. It does. Blade. Blade. possibly maybe possibly his thumbnail looks well manicured good god it does guys blade blade you can go to mexico and like get this handled very affordably you gotta get those chompers fixed my friend you got to is he also need to shave your head is he dying blade like is this a person who's just slowly dying in front of the stream in the truest like okay okay there was an anorexic girl who turned it around by the way but she was anorexic and and nate you don't know her but picture like full-blown crazy, you don't see this very often, anorexic, you know?

5'5 and 69 pounds. Like, you know, bone skinny. And she's making videos. They're getting millions of views each, but I'm like, it's morbid. This woman is dying. She's dying on camera. And I'm watching Blade down what I thought were quadruple shots, losing his teeth. And just, it's like, it's, you wonder how a person becomes homeless. Like, what happens?

Well, he's documenting it for us. And I keep thinking, where's Rock Bottom? You know, when he was on the show, he was sober for 10 days or something like that. That's gone. Now he's here. Now he's here. Now he's here. Blade, what does rock bottom look like to you, Blade, that inspires you to say, I probably need to stop drinking entirely? I mean, it's an addiction.

And lots of people recognize when their addiction is killing them. But, you know, it's an addiction. Like, someone who's about to shoot up heroin isn't thinking, oh, no, this is fine. They probably hate themselves for it, but they can't pull themselves away. They know they're doing tremendous damage. Gotta get those chompers fixed. You think that'll set things straight?

No, I don't think it'll set things straight, but at least I'll be able to look at him without crying on the inside. Yeah, those are the three. People who have bad teeth, I feel bad for them. So he's getting his teeth fixed. I think in that video we didn't watch to the end, he says,

somewhere along I saw it. Maybe I don't know. It was a tweet. But he's very excited. He's going to get a whole new set of top teeth. They're going to bolt them in in one day and he'll have new top teeth. So he's going to look way better. But the lifestyle that created those teeth will be the same yikes yeah it's pretty fucking rough well i seemed like he was pretty motivated last time he

was on but how long ago was that do you remember what he called six months was no shit okay longer What are you, Kyle? Six months. Was it? Oh, shit. Okay, longer than I thought then. That's my guess. I don't know. Time's relative. Thanks. Well, in the grand cosmos, it was yesterday. Fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson smarmy. You only decide Christmas is here because of the summer solstice. Winter solstice.

Dude, go fuck yourself. I can't keep up with it like like um i i got recommended like some old like like clips of ours the other day and i was like i have no memory of any of this i have no memory whatsoever i have no memory of these shows like after we do them especially some of the older ones sometimes the clips come up and i'm like i don't want to see that i'm that's not going to be my best look i'm just gonna it's gonna move on yeah you see one and i'm like oh what i say sometimes people tweet me quotes from last night not you know literally i said but like the day after the show and I'm like, oh boy. We've been okay so far which means we'll be fine forever, right? That's one show of good behavior.

Yeah. But I didn't even mention that my idea for Nate doing a superstar, you know, we were talking about it earlier. We were like, how can Nate do 60 Days In again? Because now he's prison famous. And I'm like, what, I'm the only guy suggesting blackface? It's just me?

Hey, uh... You're Nate from 60 Day Zoom. We're in blackface. Nah! Everybody just sees you showering and wants to hang out. Waving at the camera. No, no, no.

I can tell because only your face is that color. You've done a terrible job. The red paint and the wig? No. I think you look absurd. Just

blowing your reputation with that. Yeah, I mean, you're right. It probably is impossible now. They'd have to guise it. Well, I mean, you said everybody in prison loves that show right yeah so it would be pretty much impossible for you at this point for them to do this idea still works russian gulag maybe international works but that's also scarier unless you go to like a real

place like oh how cool i'm sorry dude okay oh But he could go to one of those nice Swiss camps where they have their own log cabins and shit. 100% Xbox. Yeah. That's where he does it. You're getting bored because there's no conflict? Just stirring your own conflict. They're all chilling and they're like,

yeah, that's American. He just paces back and forth. We don't care for it. Just sit down and play Xbox with us, buddy. Yeah? We can play Smash. You like Super Smash? Yeah?

He says, rage out, man. You're tense. I really thought he'd be better at shooting you're like you're like you're in the spongebob i thought i was like that came out better than i expected i was pretty happy it wasn't german but it was a little swedish yes you just You just do the

Quibble Cop accent, just kind of European, where it's like you don't know where it's from but it's somewhere over there. It's kind of German. You talk like this, I fucking guarantee it. Netherlands. Yeah, that's an odd accent they have. I like the accent that those

actors have on that Viking show that we watch. What's it fucking called? The funny Viking show. Norseman, maybe? Norseman. Yeah, Norseman. I like that accent they've got.

That's a cool accent. I like how they say things. Like Norwegian? Is that how Norwegian people actually sound? I'm assuming because they're all Norwegian in RL. They talk like a less silly version of that, I'm sure. Most of them are. You can just look at their names and see like like a lot of them are yeah that's i feel like that what happened

to that show for me is the same thing that happens on youtube for for me when i watch people it's like it's not that your videos are worse it's just that i've been watching them for three years now and you know you gotta step up oh these people are definitely from Norway this lady she's got that letter in her name where the A and the E are touching this guy's got the O with the dash through it this guy's got an umlaut this person's name is Silje Torp Fagerveg

just get your starring next to Nils Jorgen Kautestad and you can forget the North Star Miljen Stagerstedt Ostenstaden there's a lot of consonants in there and you can forget the north star million stack is that often stacked and there's a lot of consonants in there and a lot of vowels it's just long you know it's impossible to read iceland people from iceland they just said fuck you to everybody else when it came to language just did their own thing and apparently they're like still speaking dialects in iceland that they

were doing hundreds and hundreds of years ago so like whereas we reading like old english we'd be like what like you get to a certain point really it's another language going on here this is a different language but like if apparently if you live in iceland you can speak and read icelandic you can open a tome from like 800 years ago and be like oh okay i kind of i kind of see what they're saying here which i think is pretty pretty fucking cool yeah how fluid would we be far back in english you know i think can vary. Dude, it's like another fucking language. It's so silly. We can go to like the 17-somethings. Like early 1700s.

I can read the Declaration of Independence. It's kind of... Ah, that is not old English. Right, but that's 1700s. So, 1600s, how do I do? 1400s. How far back can you go nicely i'm trying to find it because this is this is one of those questions i've thought about and i don't think i've ever looked into god just put a number on the page i don't care i just i don't care about all the interest i'm talking about the norman conquest of 1066 there's no way i could talk to them yeah i'm looking at some of the translations and it's not all right so like welcome is

welcoming okay i got that hello is west high how are you is who meant who like it's not even fucking close yeah but what year is that it's just old english uh 13th century 13th century that'd be the 1200s yeah so all right 1200s too far i wonder how i do it 15 14 i don't know man okay so here's uh so modern english began in 1503 but it wasn't modern like we say here is the link to it and scroll down about a third of a page, and you can see what English looked like back then. It says, Wait, we Gardena in Gardagum,

pedos in nina brim garfun ho on apnic ellen fremdom. And that means, listen, we have the spear Danes in the days of yore, of those clan, like not even fucking close. Not even fucking close. So definitely not that far back. Yeah, this is some Germanic Latin influenced bullshit. This is not...

It's getting close to what we do. It's got the basic structure of it, I guess. You can see where we started, but we couldn't have a conversation with these motherfuckers. I know more fucking French than I do old English so this to the people watching this is what Taylor just read which

clearly I literally don't know any of these words yeah I was making it up on my what it says here is that like this is making it up it says by the time of Shakespeare this is like his death in like 1616. We could pretty much understand what they're saying,

but not be able to like fully get it. So here's one. It's 400 years. They say this middle English. This is 1100 to 1450. I'll try and read it. One that April with his shore suit, the drought of March hath pierced to the root

and bathed every vine in switch liquor of which virtue engendered is the flower doesn't even rhyme in april gentle rains have pierced the drought of march right to the root and bathed each sprout then every vein with liquid of such power, it brings forth the engendering of the flower. Oh. Yeah, I would have gotten half that, maybe. Yeah. I don't want to go back in time.

At all. And if I did, it would be like a trip. Not stay there. You don't want to go back in time? I would only go back in time to like 2011 buy bitcoin and then be retired by now someone someone did something i thought was interesting they uh they were talking about like the rockefellers i might mess it up forgive me if it's rockefellers or vanderbilts or whatever but you know super-duper crazy billionaire from 150 years ago,

is it better to be him or is it better to be, like, a below-average middle-income person today? And they came back and said today. Like, this guy lost a couple of children to easily curable diseases. He didn't have access to, like, some things that, obviously internet and things, but even, like, conveniences, like we have now air conditioning and such that he didn't have access to like some things that obviously internet and things but even like conveniences like we have now air conditioning and such that he didn't have and it was like yeah you're better off being you know above the poverty line but of lower income this year than super

wealthy back in the day and it's like it's interesting because like time doesn't move linearly that way as far as like human progress so like there will be a time in the next couple hundred years where like i'm like the you i don't know when it'll happen but like the u.s quality of life will start to tank and some other superpower will take over and like people in those days might realistically think like man it'd be sick to live in 1950s america 1990s america or something like that the same way a roman in the year 464 would be like man i wish i lived in the you know in the in the tens or whatever they would say we're a bigger you know so you think america's quality of life will go down yeah yeah definitely

every superpower's quality of life goes down eventually like no i think that it's my impression that what happens is ours will not rise as quickly as the next superpower right so china will go from zero to ten while we're stuck at eight and we kind of flatline maybe like there'll be with globalization comes a global leveling of the standard of living and which will lower the american standard of living tremendously right only comparatively i think that our standard of living will actually rise you know we'll get electric cars and i don't know nicer things in our lives but those are only material goods like if that entails someone to be working 60 hours a week on gig economy jobs

that's not stable and they can't afford to have families like like these these are other things like if it's as far as material goods sure if you have the money to buy them i'm sure those will always get better but like as far as society as a whole and the inner workings like yeah i think it's almost inevitable every superpower eventually those are good counterpoints i think right standard living is not just like our house keeps getting bigger and bigger right like american homes what people look at these homes from a hundred years ago and say how cheap they were but they were like a thousand square feet a thousand square feet home now is not very big people are buying 2500 or something like that um and i think that'll stretch and it just will keep getting better material things but there is a good point you

made in there you know now dual income families are pretty much the norm. That didn't used to be the case. And the gig economy. The gig economy is not healthy for people's psyches. I'm still forming my opinion on it. You might argue that Twitch is something like a gig economy, right? Where you just go out, you sort of create your own thing, and there's a neat little entrepreneurship.

You get out what you put in, fun part to it. But there's an also, like, I don't know, temporariness to it, lack of stability. And oftentimes these gig economies are second jobs. There's no health insurance. So there's pros and cons yeah and if like you're working three gig jobs then your insurance is going to be siphoning so much of that away from you it's just i feel bad i i feel so sad when like i get an uber and it's like some 75 year old guy

i always hope like that when i start talking usually what it it'll be, or some of the time it's like, Oh, I just, you know, I get lonely at home. I got nothing to do, worked my whole life. I just want to be doing something.

And I'm like, Oh, thank God. Other times you can tell like, Oh fuck this, this guy's working. Cause he absolutely has to right now. And he did not want to be doing this.

I don't know. It's just sad. I'm so glad you called me. Cause I've never been so hungry right after this ride. I swear to God, I'm going to Wendy's. Well, Nate, did you have anything you wanted to plug? We do appreciate having you on. Hey, no, guys. I appreciate you guys having me on.

It's a bummer that Trey didn't get to join us for too long, but I enjoyed it. You guys are a riot. a bummer that Trey didn't get to join us for too long. But I enjoyed it. You guys are a riot. Kyle, you sound like Joe Rogan. Well, thank you. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, and I've got to get going.

I've got to actually go do some paperwork right now. Perfect. All right. Well, thanks again for coming on. We did enjoy it. Yep. You guys have a good night and I'll say bye to Taylor real quick. Take it off, Taylor.

Thank you so much for coming on, man. Thanks for engaging the DMs. I'd really like to have any of you. You were awesome on the show. Big fan. Yeah, hey. Stay safe down there and thank you for your service. Hey, I appreciate it guys. You guys all have a wonderful rest of your week.

You too, buddy. All right. Bye. You got to hit the red hang up icon. I'm not seeing the red hang up. Put your mouse over your own video and it'll pop up. Oh, there it is.

Yeah. Oh, there it is. It always is funny when people don't use Discord and it's like, alright, heading out. And what are we doing here? Go ahead. No, no, no.

You go. I was going to give a drink. These mineral waters or never at all. I don't like sparkling water. Oh, never mind. Then that was all I had. I was saying these are really good. Good one.

I was going to ask Woody if he saw that clip of Landmark getting the four man noob to. Oh, my gosh. That clip plays in his stream like every minute i think nightbot keeps posting it yeah you can you can type exclamation for uh four man i think and and it auto plays at this point so they introduced for people don't know escape for tarkov introduced a new weapon and uh it's a grenade launcher and i think a lot of people seem to agree it's incredibly overpowered i maybe i'm just contrarian by nature but i think that they haven't play tested it long enough in the first day right you watch landmark at a four man and you're like oh my god that's incredible having said that like vog grenades do something similar um to me it's just an automated throwing

tool i guess it's supposed to have blast damage through walls but it's too much so like people are getting kills through walls and stuff and it's a little bugged but uh i don't know there it point detonates and it travels at like 500 feet per second or something like that which is essentially instantaneous in this in a game where like an ak-47 shoots 750 feet per second you can just deliver death instantaneously to a massive radius i mean i've actually used it and uh people survived you know it doesn't point where you shoot it it's uh you know anyone who's played video games knows how you throw grenades it kind of arches and with experience you get better at putting them where they're supposed to go but

you don't always put it right where you expect, where you hoped it would go. That's what the nade launcher was for me. You know, it's like you could put a scope on it, a red dot, that red dot has nothing to do with where your grenade is going to land. And,

uh, um, it's a good way. Well, it's yeah, the red dots zero for like 20 meters or something like that. So at 20 meters, the arc will allow it to hit that plane.

But up close, it's shooting real high. Yeah, that's what's going on there. Oh, because it doesn't seem to make any fucking sense in my hand. You aim low if they're close, 10 meters, 15 meters. They were like at the farthest reach you might be able to throw a grenade. And when you do that, you just kind of shoot it up. And it takes me a shot or two to zero in. You know how it is.

You throw it. You're like, ah, a little close, a little far. And adjust from there. I liked it. I didn't use it too much because it's wildly expensive to run. And this was the first night. So every round was like $100,000. I'm sure it got cheaper since then. Actually, it's cheap, but you can only buy like three bullets.

I think they removed it or something like that. They did something. Yeah, they temporarily made it so you can only get it in marked rooms. Yeah, so now they're like $4 five million each um grenade launcher and uh the uh the shells are still right around a hundred thousand so so nobody's running them now but they'll they're just taking them out to tinker with it and then they'll implement it again i guarantee because it's just but it doesn't belong in that game not that game so here's my counter argument tarkov is not a game with balanced weapons right in call of duty there's this idea that you should be competitive with an smg an assault rifle a shotgun you name

it right a sniper rifle they all have their pros and cons and they're all balanced in their own ways escape from tarkov is an asymmetric combat simulator right right? Sometimes I go in there and your gun is way better than mine. And there is no world in which my MPX is supposed to be as good as your M4. It's not. I'm running a cheaper gun. You invested more in your gun,

you get an advantage in the gunfight. If I somehow win, then I get your gun. This thing is, well, currently it's outrageous, 4 million rubles with hundred thousand ruble bullets if people these numbers are outrageous and uh you win gunfights more with it you know but you're risking a lot of profit so yeah at four million it's fair yeah four million is an outrageous number but um it's an asymmetric shooter. It's not supposed to be balanced. You're not supposed to grab in any gun.

My pump action shotgun is supposed to suck compared to your semi-auto shotgun. But you can still – I think you can still win in those instances. I just don't think you can beat a grenade launcher with any other gun ever. Like if you see each other at the same time, then the grenade launcher always wins as long as he like hits anywhere near you, especially indoors. Outdoors, on flat surface,

God, you got to make it like land right by him. But if you're in an elevated position or if you're indoors so that you can hit the wall behind them, it's just fucked. I don't know about that and then you know there's there's multiple grenades for it but the one that that i've seen used is the point detonating grenade that arms at two meters and so that means that it blows up so close from launch that you can kill

yourself with it yeah it's pretty nutty i've seen that happen i didn't blow my i didn't kill myself with it but anton did in an offline raid as he was learning how to use it was pretty funny and uh yeah i just i i wonder how if you'd feel differently if you still played tarkov right because you watch landmark use a gun they all look overpowered the guy's amazing right everything in landmark's hands is op and uh he feels like it's overpowered he has an educated opinion but if you watched an average player play with it you might be like oh i see it has pros and cons it's not looks real easy to use i i mean especially after watching him i feel like i know exactly where to aim now at like various ranges and like i i've only seen him wound maybe five people and he's killed like a hundred with it

something like that i watched like an a couple of eight hour streams or something like that he's just destroying just continuously just anywhere near them like the range of the radius of the blast and that particular clip where he kills for a four-man squad with one shot and it kills two of them through a brick wall that's crazy town that's it's that i mean that's what the ags does the automatic grenade launcher that that is mounted around the map it also kills people through the map or through through surfaces it's funny the bugs that they release with now i know it's in beta but like no excuse i i don't accept that anymore i saw anton play with a red dot on it and the red dot didn't light like it was just an empty like outline of

the like the metal part of a red dot site and it's like it doesn't take a lot of play testing just like you notice it in a second this isn't a sophisticated thing that is hard to catch red dots are just not dotty there's no dot in the middle how did that slip through even the first millisecond of play testing did you guys run this thing with no scopes on it the whole time and then uh so the blast i read is supposed to go through walls but it goes through walls too much it's as if the wall wasn't there at all or or maybe it doesn't account for what kind of wall it is the one click pilot i was talking about is a brick wall maybe it's only supposed to go through like drywall plaster yeah yeah so uh but i'm like man if you coded this thing to go through walls what kind of play testing did

you do like was there any testing at all if it's just killing through brick walls like they're not there yeah and and like you said no excuse i almost feel like you don't get to call your game Is there any testing at all? If it's just killing through brick walls, like they're not there. Yeah. And, and like you said, no excuse. I almost feel like you don't get to call your game beta anymore. Right? This is Daisy where the game peaks in beta.

If this thing eventually becomes like a full release three years from now, it'll be on the tail end of its bell curve. Perhaps. Yeah. I mean, rust rust has a grenade launcher. It's wildly overpowered compared to everything else, essentially, because a rocket launcher has a bigger blast radius, but rockets are crazy expensive. And there's like this delay between when you pull the trigger and the rocket moves so slow that you can like see it go through the air.

It's like, like you see it move, whereas the grenade grenade launcher is just like and it instantly goes and they have the and russ it's the six it's like a uh six shell grenade launcher that's like a gigantic revolver so you've got six shots but they're very rare and they're hard to get like the only way to get them is to go to uh like one of the monuments and kill like the boss uh scientist the boss ai characters and then there's just a slim chance that they'll drop a grenade launcher and an even slimmer chance that they'll drop the high explosive rounds and so you have to like it's it's hours and hours of work to acquire six or eight grenades for the thing but once you've got it everybody else is fucked it's just impossible to counter but it doesn't matter how good your ak is or whatever there's a parallel for that and

escape from tarkov i think land trying to think how long does it take to earn a hundred thousand rubles probably 30 minutes 20 minutes or something one raid yeah which is 30 minutes and i would say look if you win a raid you can get two or three hundred thousand maybe on average but you don't win every raid so you know sometimes you lose let's call it a hundred thousand a raid profit if you're playing well you're playing it all uh so that's 30 minutes investment per round and then i don't know what a GL is going to cost when things stabilize, but call it half a million. So, but it depends if they put the trader thing back in,

like they were, they had already dropped to like 350,000 on day two. So I don't see why they wouldn't continue to drop as the supply just increased. You know, that's how that shit works. And some people would just get tired of it and or maybe demand would go up because everybody'd be like i'm constantly getting killed by this

thing i want one it's really hard to say so so ballpark of what we talked about to get a grenade launcher in five rounds about four hours worth of work five hours worth of work and uh um you know that's not it's not that easy same thing as an m4 and a and a uh you know a vest's not, it's not that easy. Same thing as an M4 and a, and a, uh, you know, uh, a vest full of mags though. I'm processing that. Yeah. You might be right. I feel like I've gone on too long about this topic, but yeah, the ammo is expensive too. It is an M4. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I just don't think it's balanced. And look,

I get your thing that like there are good guns and there are bad guns, but then you've got a god gun. It's literally like the golden gun from 007, right? For gold and I, I mean. I'll say this. If the gun's that great, I've literally never found somebody else with it. The only time I've ever seen that in raid was I owned it. Yeah.

I don't know if you watched that whole raid where i owned it yeah landmark um if you want if i don't know if you watch that whole raid where he gets the four man uh noob tube at then he goes up on the roof of the building and he kills a five man one of which has a grenade launcher it's it it he said and i agree it's his greatest raid ever when he kills the five man on the roof it's not that one at a time kind of thing where he it's not that one at a time kind of thing where he's really only fighting one at a time and he has time to recuperate they're swarming him one of them's holding him from range and the other three are running up a staircase and the fifth is trying to like hide loot it's ridiculous he's on the roof pinned down

on his belly like defending against four people simultaneously. Crazy. Landmark's greatest rate ever might be the greatest rate ever, right? I mean, it's Landmark. Yeah. So that's a thing. But they're not common in the game. They weren't common on the first night.

People can't afford to run it. So that's a good thing. He's wildly entertaining, though. If you like Tarkov you like i'm gonna watch him after we get done here tonight i'm gonna go watch a bit of his stream it's uh it's wildly entertaining to watch him play uh when when he when he when he wins he wins it's crazy he's he's really good at maximizing his uh his inventory his inventory he's so good at it like he knows what everything costs more or less you know new items just came out so he's not up on everything instantly but like you can see him throw stuff away i'm like i had to kept that but then he's like oh no no no you don't want that

he's just like like just grabbing all this stuff and maximizing inventory in these really inventive ways that i hadn't thought of and yes you crushes you when you watch they call it playing tetris right so here here chat there might be a grid five by five right and that's your your backpack well you can put a vest in your backpack that holds three by three but only takes two by two these numbers are all wrong but work with me so it's kind of bigger on the inside and and, and you know, they just take these vests and twist them and Tetris everything and get more room.

And they know off the top of their head, Ooh, this vest has 18 slots in it, but it only takes 15. So I'm going to put this in my backpack, load the vest up with things, and then I'll have room for this extra water filter or what have you. And I watched them do it so quickly.

If you watch me do it, you see a man figuring things out. If you watch them do it so quickly if you watch me do it you see a man figuring things out if you watch them do it you see like um world of warcraft micro clicking happening at a speed so quickly you can barely process it it's uh it's impressive to see i learned yeah too yeah it's good shit um he's the only streamer i can really stand to watch right now. A lot of people are... Honestly, I mean, for that game, you know, like, I don't see Veritas

on that much, and Pastelli's on when I'm not, like, watching. Yeah, he's, like, early morning. And Veritas, I mean, Landmark fucking streams from 5pm till 5am every fucking day. That 5 p.m. till 5 a.m. Every fucking day. That's outrageous.

Yeah. 5 p.m. To 5 a.m. Every fucking day. One of the things I find interesting about Landmark is how quickly he's risen to prominence. Right? Like, I'll make up numbers. You can tell me.

Does he have maybe 7,000 people watching him, like, all the time? 5,000? At least 5 or 7. I see him at 10. Right now, he's got 8,000 people watching him all the time? 5,000? At least 5 or 7. I see him at 10. Right now he's got 8,500. He's live. Okay. All right.

So 8,500. If he were to go back even five months, he'd have 13 people watching him. He started last fall. He's been going for less than a year. That's awesome. And it's earned. You'd be dumb to think that it wasn't earned he puts in so many hours he's gone and he crushes the way he plays a lot different than most people

like like he is not the slow and steady guy he fuck he's like he'll be in this little standoff where there's some guy around the corner who's kind of being coy and he's like i don't know chad you think i should send it yeah just full fucking send it? And I'm like, no! You've got two million rubles worth of shit in your bag, and your gear is worth another two. Run! Run! And he's like, yeah, I'm going to send it.

And he just runs straight into the room, spraying at people's faces. It's great. Dude, so I've been streaming more lately. Not last night, but the night before that and the night before that i'm the super me i'm winning all these raids six wins six game win streaks right i have like a 50 exfil rate so to get six wins in a row like that's pretty good and i'm and i'm getting into 1v2s and 1v3s and winning beating everybody and i'm like well i guess uh i guess this is just

the new me right i guess i'm pretty fucking good at this game now and then last night i streamed and it was just oh it still hurts to sit with that ass pounding i took all night long six game losing streaks maybe not really but uh for some good ones right yeah i was just like oh i guess i I started to feel like there was one play. I was getting pinched by players on both sides, and I just fucking lasered one head and hip fired the other and got myself out of it. And then a subscription comes up, and they're like, I sub just for that play. The most sincere praise ever. And then last night comes along, and you win some, you lose some.

TTS is like, I charged back because of that play. Yeah. Get fucked. That would be funny. That's another thing. Whenever Landmark got that four-man noob tube the money was actually it was after that it was he got the four-man noob tube and then he wiped out four men on the roof like in quick quick quick succession the money started rolling in and it

took so long for the money to stop rolling in that the things they were saying didn't even make sense anymore it was delayed so much it was like, he donated this five minutes ago when he was hiding his vest behind a trash can. That's long over. That happened to me, but it wasn't based on my gameplay. I was trying to prove that Helen Keller was real, and they wouldn't let me get my words out. They just kept interrupting me

with the text to speech i was trying to play the video where she sounded like you could hear it coming you couldn't hear the audio because they just text to bomb me with donations it was funny i gotta do that from now on just say every time i raid you all right say say hi to woody if he's talking about helen keller shut that shit down you will not have him going against what is the true word say hi to Woody. If he's talking about Helen Keller, shut that shit down. You will not have him going against what is the true word of the show. The retarded is the day long.

It's funny. I've swung back around on that. You're a menace for saying those awful things about that beautiful, talented genius of a woman. I would have said it to her face. You were a retard. I'm right in the forehead.

So she, you know what I would do? I would stand there with like a handful of pennies and I guess it wouldn't matter. Cause she couldn't hear him. Cause she feel the vibrations. How big of a thing would I need to throw? So she could feel a little spider.

That'd be funny though though, if you dropped rocks by her feet. She can't feel rocks falling next to her, but she can write a dissertation on politics. Okay. In her things, I didn't see political stuff. It was more like I would love the world to be a better

place. My great regret is that i'm not a better speaker because i could have had a larger message or something like that um those things those wonderful messages dried up when her teacher died the those things um well she lost her text to speech she just had a human text she was sad maybe she was sad she had a text to speech your text to speech. Maybe she was sad. Maybe she was sad. She had a text to speech. Your text to speech would drive up if you lost Brian or whatever his name is.

Well, I'm convinced. Now, there could be video evidence of her speaking autonomously clearly. No. There is video evidence of her speaking autonomously clearly. According to you. We watched the video. Yeah. Together.

In front of witnesses. No. That didn't happen. None of this happened. It was a forgery. She was just saying sounds. That was post.

That was done in post. Yeah, there's a lot of post-production going on that black and white fucking video we watched i just i just don't know why you're so hateful toward this woman i it's totally mean and hateful grudge well it's not a grudge she never did anything to me it's just that she's retarded and the world deserves to know do you do you believe strongman feats from like the 18s too? Oh, strongman Johnson picked a goat of two goats in each hand with a horse atop.

All the goats seem doable. With the horse atop. Well, how big was the horse? Okay, how about this? He picked up a cow and threw it 10 feet in a field. Well, who is the strongman who threw cows?

There are so many strong men with bullshit claims from way back in the day. I saw the History Channel show. You see that? Where they have modern strong men try to recreate the feats of... I think you linked to a YouTube video on that. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, it's pretty good. Some of them couldn't do it because it was like, no, this impossible yeah yeah some of them were just ridiculous like one of them was um this

um maybe a civil war soldier who supposedly like picked up a cannon to like deprive the enemy of it and uh and they started looking at how much those cannons weighed and i don't remember exactly but maybe 1100 fucking pounds walking through the marsh under fire. And literally the strongest men in the world are like, I cannot pick up the 1,100 pounds. It's not going to happen. Maybe 800. And you're like, dude can pick up 800,

but he's saying that 1,100 is fucking impossible. I believe him. I fucking believe him. He knows exactly the limits of human strength. Yeah, and to their credit, they came up with some kind of a cannon i don't remember what it was 400 500 600 pounds but they all picked that motherfucker up except for one guy i want to say that um fucking um what's his name thor thor bjornson whatever the fuck the uh the mountain that rides was uh on that show picking up crazy shit it was pretty interesting show yeah i want to watch more i have a story about rabies

it's about a two or three minute read but i think it might be interesting you guys down yeah now all No, we don't have time. Rabies. It's exceptionally common, but people just don't run into animals that carry it that often. Skunks and especially bats. Let me paint you a picture. You go camping and at midday you decide to take a nap in a little

hammock. While sleeping, a tiny brown bat in the rage stages of infection is fidgeting in broad daylight daylight uncomfortable and thirsty due to hydrophobia and you snort startling him he goes into attack mode now there's a little video here i'm gonna link it to you guys yeah rabies is pretty scary dude we're just warming up hang in there but i want to i want to watch the video real quick. You guys there? Yes. Three, two, one, play.

Caught on camera. This video shows it as it happens. Do you see this little bat? The bat attacks and bites the man right in the neck. Read it. That's all you need to see. Alright. Awesome. That would be so scary.

Oh, this fucking bat fucking bat biting your chest. Bit him in the neck. If you think that's scary, buckle up. Except you're asleep and he's a little brown bat, so he weighs around six grams. You don't even feel him land on your bare knee and he starts to bite. His teeth are tiny, hardly enough to even break the skin.

But he does manage to give you the equivalent of a tiny scrape that goes completely unnoticed. Rabies does not travel in your blood. In fact, a blood test won't even tell you you've got it. Any tests may be done, but they're useless if you've ever been vaccinated. You wake up, none the wiser. If you notice anything at the bite site at all, you assume you just scraped on it or something. The bomb has been lit, and your nervous system is the wick.

The rabies will multiply along your nervous system, doing virtually no damage and completely undetectable. You literally have no symptoms. It may be four days, it may be a year, but the camping trip is most likely long forgotten. Then one day your back starts to ache

or maybe you get a slight headache. At this point, you're already dead. There is no cure. There's no treatment. It has a 100% kill rate. Absorb that. No single other virus on the planet has a 100% kill rate. Only rabies.

And once you're symptomatic, it's over. You're dead. So what does that look like? Your headache turns into a fever and a general feeling of being unwell. You're fidgety, uncomfortable, and scared. As the virus that's taken its time getting into your brain finds a vast network of nerve endings, it begins to rapidly reproduce, starting at the base of your brain, where their pons is located. This is the part of your brain that controls communication to the rest of your brain and body,

as well as the sleep cycles. Next, you become anxious, and you think you have only a mild fever, but suddenly you find yourself becoming scared, even horrified, and it doesn't occur to you that you don't know why. This is because the rabies is chewing up your amygdala. As your cerebellum becomes hot with the virus, you begin to lose muscle coordination and balance. You think maybe it's a good idea to go to the doctor now, but assuming the doctor is smart enough to even run the tests necessary in the next few days you have on the planet, odds are they'll only be able to tell your loved ones why you died later. You're twitchy, you're shaking and scared. You have the normal

fear of not knowing what's going wrong, but the virus is really fucking with the amygdala, and this amplified a hundredfold. It's around this time that the hydrophobia starts. You're horribly thirsty, and you just want water, but you can't drink. Every time you do, your throat clamps shut and you vomit. This has become a legitimate, active fear of water. You're thirsty, but you're looking at a glass of water begins to make you gag and shy back in fear. The contradiction is that it's hard for your hot brain to see at this point. By now, the doctors will have put IVs in you to keep you hydrated, but this is futile.

You were dead the second you had a headache. You begin hearing things, and you're not hearing things as your thymalis goes. You taste sounds. You see smells. Everything starts feeling like the most horrifying acid trip anyone has ever been on. With your hippocampus long under attack, you're having trouble remembering things, especially family. You're alone, hallucinating, thirsty, confused, and absolutely undeniably terrified. Everything scares the literal shit out of you at this point. These strange people in lab coats, these strange people standing around your bed crying, who kept trying to get you to drink something and crying. It's only been

about a week since that little headache that you've completely forgotten. Time means nothing to you anymore. Funny enough, now you know how the bat felt when he bit you. Eventually, you slip into the dumb rabies phase. The brain has started the process of shutting down. Too much of it has been turned into liquid virus. Your face droops. You drool. You're all but unaware of what's around you. A sudden noise or light might startle you, but for the most part, all you can do is stare at the ground. You haven't really slept for about 72 hours. Then you die. Always. You die. And there's not one fucking thing anyone can do for you there's the question of what to do with your corpse i mean burying it is the right thing to do but the fucking virus can survive

in a corpse for a couple of years you could kill every rabid animal on the plat today on the planet today in two years from now some moist preserved rotten hunk of used to be brain gets eaten by an animal and it starts over so yeah rabies scares the shit out of me it's fucking everywhere source spent a lot of time working with rabies would still get my vaccinations if i could afford them yikes welcome to america who this was uh some rabies worker and um uh so a lot of people started like countering it and saying you know that like death they're like rabies or deaths from rabies are rare, but that doesn't mean rabies is rare.

The reason the mortality is so rare in the U.S. is due to aggressive treatment protocol of all bite cases in the United States. If you're bitten and you can't identify the animal, they or if the animal were to die, you get treatment regardless. So they treat you for rabies in america even if they don't know if the animal's rabid they just assume it is better safe than sorry yeah that's how it turns out yeah i read this and it was fucking like impactful i was like oh my god and the fact that it has a hundred percent kill rate and there's nothing they can do the second you have a headache the second

you might i wouldn't even seek help for a headache. I would wait longer. Can you imagine how fucked you'd be if that was airborne? And not biting you? Yeah. So there's rabies vaccines? I didn't even know this. Yes, yeah. But they invalidate rabies tests. What do you mean?

So if you've had a rabies vaccine, you have the antibodies, which is how the test works. So I can't tell if you've been bitten, right? You will test positive for rabies because you've been vaccinated. So even if you're vaccinated and you get bit and they can't tell, they still put you through the rigmarole of all of it? I'm not 100% sure.

I don't know either. It depends on how long ago you got vaccinated. I think it's like a tetanus shot, right? Where it's just going to wear off and become ineffective while at the same time messing up the uh the test have you guys ever seen a rabid animal to my knowledge i've never seen what was it doing it's fucking falling at the mouth and walking around people when it shouldn't be i've seen a bat in the daytime though maybe I guess I didn't realize that was such a huge sign that it had rabies. The biggest sign for me has always been that they're not afraid of people anymore.

They're walking around in broad daylight when normally they'd be skittish even at night. Is this a raccoon? A raccoon? Yeah, I was taking out the garbage late at night at my college. Yeah, it was night at my house i don't think possums can get it possums can't get well possums are disgusting they can probably get anything no i think he's right i think possums are weirdly yeah not only are possums immune to to the rabies virus but they also eat an enormous amount of ticks, apparently. So thank your local possum next time you see it. And they have thumbs, I think, maybe.

Well, they're marsupials. They're the only North American marsupial. Now you know. They got little pouches, keeping those ugly little babies in there. But if they're eating ticks, I'm cool with them. I didn't realize. Yeah. They are hideous.

They eat a lot of ticks. They are hideous. They are hideous. They're one of the ugliest animals I've ever seen i shot one once and i felt real bad after why all the ticks they're gonna be bothering you no i just felt bad i should have shot him yeah it's not you're gonna eat him you just shot him for fun um i don't know had a gun there. There he was. Yeah. You got it, right? He's looking like a target. He looked like a target.

Scott shot an armadillo one time. We felt bad about that, too. We'd never seen one before. Don't all armadillos have rabies? No, no. It's the plague that they carry. Oh, yeah.

They carry the plague. The black plague. You know, the one from the movies. From when it killed a third of Europe a few hundred years ago. I foolishly saw one running across the desert one time and immediately sped after it on a foot chase. They're not that fast i caught it as it was going down into its burrow and grabbed it by the fucking tail and i'm like trying to pull it out and and the guy goes let it go and i'm like all right i was i was like i wasn't gonna kill

it i just wanted to catch it he's like no they carry the plague and i'm like oh you got any purell i'm sure he's got purell on him right i got kerosene that will do that actually probably i don't know much but i would i would if kerosene had been offered at that moment i would have kerosened up and said I kept my hand away from my face until we got back to soap and water. I caught him, though. I caught that motherfucker, and you can never take that away from me. Are you a good runner, Kyle? You look like, with your build, it seems like you

could be or were a good runner at some point. No. I mean, long distance, I was always okay, but I'm very dangerous over long distance. But not a natural sprinter. I was okay getting a first base. But just average.

Like, definitely not a speedster or anything like that. But I could always run. Like, I could run the mile fairly quickly. I think my time was, like like it was definitely below seven minutes was it 6 30 something like that in high school i don't know that's my best time too i had to run a 6 30 for a comp this is a lifeguard competition to get it to get the job and i did it just enough i don't know how much i didn't have much more in me you know if i had to go 6 20 i might't have much more in me you know if i had to go 620 i might have been able to pull that off but that was about the best i could do whatever

i needed the 628 and uh but i was at a fitness level the better than that right like you know i was doing swimming accomplishments the more impressive than 630 and i just never was good at running yeah i i just hate running my fastest also i think i ran like 625 or something and in like 10th grade when i was playing so much fucking hockey i was in tremendous shape and then if i try to do that now like i would need someone behind me no and even so i get like i just just you you better fucking kill me you know because i'll find you if you make me run this mile i forget what i got down i think i got i think i broke the nine or something last year i ran every day in december so that was like my peak but that's not impressive but i started at

11 so it was a big day i watched this great video the other day and it was, um, I can't remember which Olympics it was. I think it was like the 800 meter or something like that. Um, and, uh, it was this Olympic race and, uh, it was the one where,

you know, you, you, you pace yourself, right? And you make your push on the last lap. Well, this guy starts making his push like a lap earlier and the crowd starts laughing

at him and there's text on the screen and it's like they all started laughing because they thought he'd miscounted the laps he hadn't and then like and it's like i don't remember the music it's like and he's just fucking pulling away from the fucking crowd. Like for an entire lap, he's like sprinting somehow. And just beats the shit out of them. Just sending a message. It's inspiring. Yeah.

It's pretty fucking cool. Yeah. They thought he miscounted the laps. He hadn't. It's as intense as it gets in the sport of running exactly right people squaring up

and running what are you going to do run away you betcha faster than you bitch let's both run away together see what happens that's funny never thought about that there's some sports where it'd be funny to see people

squaring up and other sports where it's like at the Olympics like the not javelin uh pole vault that looks awful it looks terrible it doesn't apply to anything what does it help you do to be really you ever try to storm

a fortress all the olympics oh i'm talking about the men i don't watch women's sports as a matter of principle uh but the men's you're missing out on women's pole vaulting they make freaking women's volleyball look ugly i consider volleyball an activity so i make an exception i don't know how they recruit for these lady pole vaulters but it's like they're models wow they're all like smoking out like beautiful yes like why is a pretty face so helpful in pole vaulting right you would think they like i'll tell you what if you want to find some ugly broads you go to female um shot putters i was literally gonna say shot put i'm like i don't know what he's saying but i'm gonna follow up with shot put shot putters. I was literally going to say shot put. I'm like, I don't know what he's saying, but I'm going to follow up with shot put. Shot put and hammer

throw, alright? Those bitches look like every now and then they've caught one to the fucking forehead. But pole vault, for some reason, like, they're smoking hot and they have great bodies. They're all like, you know, like six-pack abs and nice butts and nice boobs.

They're a total two, I'm seeing, like 5'10", 5'9". I can imagine butts and nice boobs. Total, too, I'm seeing, like 5'10", 5'9". I can imagine why that's helpful. Yeah, but like what? You would think they'd – remember the girl with the no-tit shirt we looked at earlier tonight? Yeah. You'd think that would be common in a sport like pole vaulting,

but no, these women are models. Yeah. They're super hot. Very beautiful women. And it's got to be nice to have a sport where like you just do it and it's over you're like yeah that's it that's the end that's it four years of training comes down to about four and a half seconds yeah yeah instead of like you know running 800 meters or something like that some crazy long distance thing where it's like god damn it i'm

do it and you're done there's a strategy to it that's interesting to me so here's the deal you get three tries to do the pole vault you can start at any height you want right so if i'm like a very talented guy i might wait for 27 feet or something like that before i even do my first one because that's a thing I'm confident at. I could go at 25, but now I have to tucker myself out all the way up to my personal maxes. So you kind of want to rest yourself, but not rest yourself too much, right? Because if you don't hit your first jump, then it's fucking over, right? You know, like, shit, I waited until 28 and I should have started the 27 and a

half i'd at least have had something rolling so i i like the strategy that goes into it um yeah pole vaulting's a neat sport takes a little bravery to get up there yeah yeah and you see the ones where they go up and then the the pole keeps going and like there's a guy who like just like pokes him in the back and like. You worry you're going to get some sort of bad circumcision from it. Like a post-it note. Or just a fucking line of back skin.

Oh, I watched a girl snapper pole earlier today. Me too. Gorgeous. Super hot girl. Of course. You guys were both on a poll earlier today? It was on Reddit. It's a hot and highly rated.

We must have both been on Reddit. One of my best friends in high school was a pole vaulter. He was like six foot four and quite skinny. And he was really good at it. I think he was competing on a state level and winning a lot at a lot of competitions you didn't make it i've never done pole vaulting like not even a little like not even it wasn't offered i don't know how he got into it like i never asked him like at what point did you

did you ask somebody for a pole to find something to vault over because that at no point did he say, hey, Kyle, you want to be a pole? No, that never happened. Didn't your high school have a track team with pole vaults and the poles and everything? Well, yeah, he was on it. But I don't know how he got on it. They weren't like. My guess is some coach looks at your body type and says, you know what, Kyle? We're going to try you on the pole vault.

Yeah. I got assigned to Javelin and shot put. We're going to take you off pole vault. Yeah. That's got to be it. The way I got assigned to Javelin and shot put. We're going to take you off the running. Yeah. A lot of points because of your ass. I said it before. They recruited me for the wrestling team as a freshman, and I was like, you know,

he must see something in me to want me to be a wrestler. Yes. A guy who could make 103. About 110 pounds of freshman is it was less than that i didn't break 100 pounds so i was a sophomore did you guys have people at your uh wait 110 sophomore 100 i hit triple digits as a sophomore wow yeah that whole puberty thing those stories Wow. Those stories are true, Taylor. I believe you. In eighth grade, I wrestled at 135. Okay. Eighth grade, you would have been a real problem for 10th grade, Woody.

I wasn't trying to pick on a 103-er. We were still on the team together. I don't believe that. That's exactly who you'd want to pick on. A 103-er. Wrestlers are dangerous. I don't believe that. That's exactly who you'd want to pick on. A 103. Wrestlers are dangerous. If they really know what they're doing, because there was a guy, it was in middle school.

I didn't know what I was doing. I was just learning. But there was a guy who I think he weighed 105. He's the guy I talked about who took a bunch of shrooms later in life and then showed up with those fire poi and just was dancing around being a maniac. He took an interesting path in life. Very small guy wrestled his whole life and it got to be like you know eighth grade and i'm pretty new to it and like he was trying to teach me something and i was like i was strong enough that i could throw him around if i wanted but like no he he tossed me all not tossed me all over but he got me in all the holds everything easy peasy

which i guess is simple to do if you know what you're doing and the other person is asking for help so retrospect not as impressive as i thought i guess i really wasn't going all out against him yeah i started lifting weights my sophomore year and i gained 18 pounds and people were like 18 pounds that's amazing it's like yeah but i probably gained like three inches too like 15 years old yeah we did not have any of that pole vaulting shit at our high school like you couldn't do it it wasn't it wasn't offered no i know other schools did but we didn't have that i'm surprised your school did kyle like way out in the you know rural areas yeah we uh you know we we got a soccer team during my during my uh junior year we were very cosmopolitan you didn't get a soccer team until junior year

that's a cheap sport too that's that's bizarre yeah you gotta find you gotta find some lady boys to fucking play that shit man how big how many students did you have i don't know oh you wouldn't know i'm not sure i'm really not like i used to think it was a lot but like thinking back it couldn't be that many we had 12 or 1300 kids across the four years see i feel like it's comparable that sounds about right okay i mean i think you showed me your high school looked like the size of mine ish like it didn't stand out to me it's really big as far i mean it's not gigantic like a super impressive fish husbandry program does that sound right or did i make that up yeah yeah the livestock pro all right so to be fair the livestock program that we have and the welding

and construction by far the best in the state. They're ridiculous. Atlanta can't compete with Franklin County's fucking welding department. It's absurd. It's absurd the amount of welding equipment. Because the guy who ran the welding department was

I know him still, but a smart guy he was he was like i could either have these kids welding two pieces of cheap metal together learning how to weld or we could build some shit and sell it and so they would make like cattle trailers you know that like hook up to the the five point hitch in like a flatbed truck and then are full of cattle they would build those and then sell them and those things are like fifteen thousand dollars and he could make them for free just you know already getting like the materials essentially for free through the school child labor and then sell them and and he did that like continuously like like

making cattle trailers and all sorts of like the school got the money right the welding department got the money okay okay but then i guess i'm making clear that yeah that he wasn't earning like yeah an extra quarter million a year selling trailers off taxpayer supplies i mean maybe he was a pretty well-to-do guy it didn't make a lot of sense just make just make welding one, two, and three. Wait a goddamn minute! Alright, in welding one, we're going to make a cattle trailer. Oh, that's going to be tough. Welding

two, cattle trailer. Welding three, you've made it to the peak, the tippity top. It's where we separate the boys from the men. Cattle trailer. Pocketing 15 grand a semester off of every single one. Oh, more than that. More than that.

Yeah. So, like, everything was state of the art. But, yeah, there's, like, a thing where they raise catfish and greenhouses, and there's a gigantic livestock farm where they raise all sorts of different animals, pigs and cows and all sorts of nonsense and finally a soccer team yeah we had a soccer team from the get-go but it wasn't you know i didn't see that as an exciting thing i thought everybody none of us did none of us did um yeah we we didn't have there was no wrestling there was uh

trying to think what i mean there was there was was running and pole vaulting. I'm sure you guys didn't have a hockey team. Are you fucking kidding me? Atlanta didn't have a hockey team at that point. Every high school in St. Louis has a hockey team. It's weird. Yeah. I mean, you're a colder climate, I guess.

Yeah. A what team? Surfing. Yeah. I mean, you're a colder climate, I guess. Yeah. And we're closer to... A what team? Surfing? Oh, that's cool shit. We had an all-Missouri surf team. The best team in all of Missouri, perhaps. Yep, in all of Missouri. They throw you out on the

Mississippi, and if you survive, you get back to shore. You're okay. Is Mississippi super dangerous? It's not, right? It's just a river? In some areas, it's tremendously mississippi super dangerous it's not right it's just a river in some areas it's tremendously dangerous yeah it's it's huge i wish we had archery that would have been so cool oh i never thought about that that would have been

cool i guarantee me in that that's when i was shooting a ton too like the bow i was i was i was huge into archery then why don't we have a fucking archery team it was uh highly coveted in jim because he didn't sweat so you could just do archery and got like freshmen all they do is run every day is just running running running when you get to be sophomore through senior you pick the things you do but the thing is it's there's like a seniority

system so it goes it doesn't matter the details but the bulk of it is the seniors get to choose before the younger guys. Yeah. And it's not until you're a senior so that you have the priority to get in things like archery and golfing and stuff where you don't sweat. I had shuffleboard. We had golfing.

We had shuffleboard. Shuffleboard? Yeah. And it's funny. Every so often, some kid would get into it. I took shuffleboard and i played but i wasn't like a shuffleboard prodigy or anything but you know like some guy would take to shuffleboard and really get into it and bring in his own fucking stick and then he'd go after

high school and just fucking bully these like geriatric shuffleboard enthusiasts who would play with those. I imagine him serving in some really athletic manner that you didn't even know there was form to shoot. Yeah! Talking to the octogenarians like, oh, I see you're using more

of the commoner's push. I prefer the English style. I just imagine he's doing that wind-up like you do with shot put, how you do three spins. But he's doing that with the – he's just doing a triple spin and then a launch. One of the lifeguards I worked with was a shuffleboard enthusiast. He would do the same thing. He'd just show up and bully the octogenarians and stuff.

He was like fit. He looked like more plates, more dates. And he'd just go and kick ass at shuffleboard. and stuff and he was like fit you know it looked like more plates more dates and he just kick ass and shuffleboard he's just walking up on every carnival cruise being like hope y'all took your plavix because it's about to get ugly we're here without

my grandson it's his 11th birth shut up bitch I came to play I'm here to conversate. Running old people out. They go to a different table. You follow them. You can't escape me. You want to play shuffleboard?

You come through me. They called him the Dominator. I've got eyes all over this boat. Guy over there, Santiago at the bar, he's going to tell me you try and play without my permission here. Don't you think I don't have the indoor shuffleboard tables covered too? The ones with the little beads. Fuck you up.

You guys want to call the show yeah that was fun all right uh pka 500