Painkiller Already - PKA 504 - Romantic Agreement Form, Injured Patrons, Halloween Costumes

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

say that again americor all right pka 503 um just the boys tonight been a hot minute since we've done that uh just hanging out this episode of pka is brought to you by as kyle said americor squarespace and goat.com pka is proudly brought to you by americor americor needs you now more than ever what is americor it's your opportunity to help your neighbor and your nation through these difficult times. AmeriCorps members serve their communities by fighting hunger, teaching, tutoring, and mentoring students, as well as responding to natural disasters. Ooh, ooh, ooh. AmeriCorps is your chance to get involved and be the greater good.

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There you have it. So there you go. Well, yeah, it's nice just us again. I feel like it's been a long time, you know. I don't know. It's been a while. I don't know when the last time we did it, just the boys episode. Do you have your short shorts on, Woody?

I'm not wearing pants. Oh, shit. Well, even better. Even better. I don't know when the last time we did it, just the boys episode. Do you have your short shorts on, Woody? I'm not wearing pants. Oh, shit. Well, even better. Even better. Do you guys wear the same outfits for every single show? I wear a t-shirt and pajama pants and usually no socks or anything. Every single show. I see what's in the dryer and that's my go-to. I wear sweatpants and usually a button- you know usually a button up but um whatever's in the dryer that's what comes on i wear the same shorts i've been wearing for the last week

typically and uh i usually throw on a button down and i didn't remember that until taylor just mentioned outfits but i throw on a button down shirt i don't know to me it's like a respect for the i'm kind of proud of pka it's been going on for 10 years i don't know how many millions of views it has cumulatively but a lot of people have seen this and it's part of people's lives and it's a thing that we do and it's not nothing so like i i like to throw on a button down you know the polo shirt or something out of respect for the show and uh maybe we'll do a tuxedo episode sometime we We'll coordinate it, not tease it before it happens. We'll just show up in tuxes. I'm not renting the pants also.

You don't need the rent. You could save money that way. I'm not getting the shoes. I'm not getting the shoes. Well, why would we get the shoes or the pants or anything? I'm going to put my pants in the shoes, but I want the top hat. That's where I was headed. We raced to that joke, Kyle.

Top hat and a tuxedo t-shirt. Perhaps a cane. Yeah. but i want the top hat that's where i was headed we raced to that joke kyle we were racing to the top hat and the tuxedo t-shirt perhaps a cane perhaps a cane yeah yeah well i mean but the problem with having a cane like when i was the riddler is that you have to hold it on your shoulder the whole time otherwise people aren't aware that you had a cane because i want the fluffy uh oh the cummerbund thing that's not what it is. The waist belt. It's the suit jacket, right? It's the shirt. It's a tuxedo shirt. Like Dumb and Dumber.

It's a fluffy shirt. It's a fluffy shirt. You're talking about the Dumb and Dumber style tux. Yeah, everyone wears the pleated ones now. But the fluffy one, I don't know the name of it, is funnier. Yeah, it's not prom 1977. I know, it's Painkiller already. I think we should go for a classy, traditional look.

Oh, what if instead of an opening rap like I did for 178, I do a swing dance? Can you swing dance? Oh, of course you can. You did that reality show. You're a dancing champion. Of course you can. Oh, no, cancer survivor, but I've got that.

You could box trot into the room if you wanted. I saw, I was going through a bunch of boxes with old pictures and stuff recently. And I saw like my old cotillion book and everything. And it was just pamphlets of all the rules. And then like photos of me, like a little fucking goober in a suit dancing with a girl that's like a head taller than me at the time. Like it was that was no fucking fun and but i'm pretty sure if i like heard the swing dance music again i would remember the basic steps when did you get taller when did you like reach you know five ten six feet like

when you were actually taller than all the girls i started really growing quick at like 11 12 11, 12. Yeah. Okay. That's quite early. I would say ninth grade. So how old is that? 14, 15. By ninth grade, I was six feet tall, but I was super, super skinny, like absurdly skinny. You were just a string bean? Yeah, 150 pounds, 155 pounds. I had like six feet tall. And then like put on like another inch and a half over the next 15 or 20 years.

Puberty hit me fast and hard. Like there was no sign of it. And it's seemingly in 10th grade. And then I go into 11th grade and I'm like six inches taller. But like you said, really thin. Like in Ocean City, you're shirtless a lot like it's just it's the beach right you'd ride your bike around you don't wear a shirt and uh you could see all my ribs and everything like hot no no my girlfriend called me skeletor i got you

dude i was riding down i would hug her and she could feel my ribs in my back and she'd go oh skeletor and i in my head i'm like that's not a compliment is it like i remember my dick i'm riding my bike down the street and there's this gaggle of girls four six of them they give me that wolf whistle that like thing and they're like nice chest and i'm processing it and i'm like do they mean nice chest or are they mocking me for not having a nice chest? And it wasn't until later. Like, I look like an Ethiopian, just all rib cage and no fat or body. And I'm like, yeah, they were not.

That's not what they mean by nice chest. No one means. I bet there's large lungs in there. But what they mean is you have a good pecs and that. I remember one of those insults and like traumatic things where you like you're in the shower later on like coming up with retorts you're like better than yours you flat bitch and you put it away yeah i ever see them again that's what's gonna happen you know what when my kids ask me about this moment that's what i'm gonna regale them with

every every day for two months you're peddling by that same shirt off looking for them hoping they'll say it again. They were hot girls. They were probably the mean girls of their high school. I think that's what they were. Yeah, well, they probably are cracked out whores now. Look who's laughing now. I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm okay. No, we have to attack these whores. On your behalf and defend your honor. It's so funny like maybe maybe you guys have kept it at least like some sort of contact through facebook or whatever and like you know what like the most popular kids from high school look like now or what's happened to them i always just love seeing like their failures and their their like their terrible life decisions it was like oh that's i won't It was like, Oh, that's,

I won't use real names, but that's, that's Chad Chatterson. He's the quarterback. Yeah. He got arrested for, for stealing a car. Cause he was drunk and scared.

And he just hopped into this girl's car and drove away. Then he realized there was a baby in the back. So it's kidnapping. Now he's in prison. And then he gets out, you know, a felon. And now he's working in a drill press place where he's just literally drilling the same hole in the same piece of metal all day long.

And he was like the coolest, right? Damn, that's a suicide-inducing job. And like the hot girls who were like really beautiful, really popular, and were like on the basketball team too. And like, oh, they all had kids and now they look like shit they had two three kids at 20 years old and now they just look like pieces of shit it's wonderful um what was i gonna say no my the people in my high school would not give you the satisfaction that you're looking for in that regard they're remarkably well preserved uh most of the people i paid attention to

professionally successful seemingly happy you know it's facebook people put their best side forward but um yeah just not like i was promised everyone would get fat no doesn't have you know that that reminds me there i think i've even mentioned on the show before i think it was like junior year of high school and there was this really smart indian kid and he wasn't like super weird or anything like we were but not like close friends or anything he never came over we were like chat and joke around at school and he openly was weeping when we all got our act results back and it was like oh neat and most people don't really care or they're like oh better than i thought or i need to take it again rats that sucks this thing's so boring he got got a 35. Perfect score is 36.

And he was crying in the hallway. Openly weeping about it. I was like, dude, what's that? Do you remember what you got? I bet you got really good scores. I got a 30 on the ACT. I think that's what I got. Yeah, I got great reading in English.

Just bam, nailed it. By the time you get to the last portion, which is science, I'm like looking at graphs. I'm like, this sucks. This is so boring. This is the worst. And I remember my friends who had ADD, they were like, oh, you know, if you have ADD,

you can take as much time as you need between sections. And I was like, dude, my score would have been outrageous if I could just eat lunch between math and science or between english and math and just just chill out and relax a bit like that didn't seem fair to me i remember being pissed even at my friends like dude we hang out almost every weekend and we have conversations just fine when you're not taking adderall you are milking this my friend you are and he's like yeah i know i'm milking it obviously i am but anyway that indian guy he that was openly weeping about 35 on his ACT.

He was telling us all that he's going to be a brain surgeon. Guess what he is now? Brain surgeon. A brain surgeon. Yeah. He's a successful brain surgeon. Not that good. I mean, no 36.

Yeah. I bet his tears are. What was your ACT before I go under the knife? Oh, give me a different Indian. But yeah, it is funny. The ones that I don't really use social media outside of just like the show stuff like Twitch and Twitter. But the pictures I do see when friends are showing me the people that I thought would be total losers generally are, you know, like I feel like we do a pretty good job predicting it. That guy who was the poop bandit and sold a bunch of opiates. I think he did a little time.

He's out now and probably probably taking the Kyle path of selling cars. I don't know what he's up to. See, a lot of times people have success in high school and you think it will go afterwards. Right. Like, they're very popular in high school. They may not, you know, be headed on some popular career track, but you're like, it'll just work out. They'll be the manager at that place because they're the manager at this place.

And sometimes it doesn't, but yeah. Maybe the losers are just hiding on Facebook. You like when people have health problems? Yeah. It just warms your heart where you're like, ah, not me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I like when they have like serious health problems. I won't go into too much detail, but, you know, there was a couple, there was a guy

that like horrific situation, like one of the top three worst things that can happen to you happen to him. And it's just pancreatic cancer, right? Testicular. Worse. Worse than cancer. I'll write it. I'll write it in here.

You tell me i'm gonna i'm gonna guess amputation before he writes it ah oh oh right worse than cancer that is definite well suck it i don't want that i wish i had a wand that shot that i was and like like anytime i'm in even a minor kerfuffle i'm at the dmv i just pull that out whoa whoa whoa all right all right just put that away mr myers come to the front let's get his fucking tag done i don't want that everybody's freaking out you're like you know what i did overreact i'm gonna take out take out the smaller Bell's palsy wand. Still enough to carry it. Give me my fucking plate tags, bitch. You're going to be... Your sister's wedding is ruined.

I'm sorry. I want it to say RSK. RSK. Three letters. What do you mean you can't do it? All right. Boom. Now who's going to be fucking dropping water out of the left side of their mouth like they let's let the dentist all the time they make a lot of interesting tiktok videos they're like every day mike is getting oral surgery it's crazy it's funny though huh yeah that's you for life

are they getting rid of tiktok or no i think there's last i heard they're going to sell it to microsoft oh yeah yeah they um when i first heard that i was like you know big deal and then i wish i remember the exact amount of money that they're talking about that the the chinese economy loses because of tiktok it was not an insignificant amount of money to the chinese economy like like i want to say it was billions like from the thing i read like like many billions it was absurd how big tiktok apparently is i don't i've never downloaded it the only knowledge i have on tiktok is you know just watching tiktok cringe on reddit yes but it does seem like it's taken by storm you know is it bigger

than instagram now no it's hard to measure because Instagram has a lot of inactive users. I have no idea. I would imagine it is if I had to guess. Can Chinese people use TikTok? Because if they can, it's way bigger than Instagram because they can't use Instagram. From everything I read, it's just rotting our society

from the within. We need to get back to Twitter and Instagram and the wholesome, nice little tech company. I think it's worse because what I keep hearing pointed out is how it just teaches nine-year-old girls to twerk because it'll be a trend. It's like, oh yeah, we're

all making a video where we shake our asses in booty shorts. It starts with maybe 20-year-old girls and then 18-year-old girls and then 16 and then there's literally nine-year- old girls on there twerking in booty shorts. And they're all doing it. And none of them know what they're doing. You're not looking at the positive in this at all, Kyle.

Think of how good they'll be when they're 18 with nine year veterans of twerking. Like those Chinese Olympic athletes. You're so right. Yeah. You're so right. Start them early. That's right. They do that with everything.

It's like a farm league in baseball, right? They're single A. They're just working and working and maturing. And someday they'll make the majors. I'm a minor league whore. You'll get there someday. You'll get there someday, Skyler. I can see it in your eyes.

You keep twerking, Skyler. You'll get it. Your mother was a grand champion whore. You've got those same genes and so are you and your 13 sisters you've always been a whore give her like a Mickey style speech you gotta be dirty

you gotta be filthy you can have no self respect what happens if they come in your mouth you make sure they can see it you spit it out you suck it back up you can't be one of those standard bitches You can have no self-respect. What happens if they come in your mouth? You make sure they can see it. You spit it out. You suck it back up. You can't be one of those standard bitches.

Yes. Use it as lube. Keep jerking. Are you a come once kind of girl? Don't think so. Yeah, that's, you know, if what you're saying is correct, Kyle, it's probably not good for children to be honest. Yeah, I don't think it's good for children to be on social media. They should watch Elsa Spider-Man videos on YouTube.

Don't do that! Don't do that, children! Our audience here is 90% under the age of 12, so we've got to be real careful. None of that's true. That's not true. God, I hope not. Of course not. It's funny, though. They come to my stream. They're like? I love you. I've been watching PKA since I was 12. Like, well, that was a mistake. And I kind of blame your parents. Wait, what?

Yeah. Some of the patrons like, like, uh, you know, I'll be, I'll be messing around playing rust in there and I'll be chatting with those guys and like, yeah, I've been listening for like 10 years, you know? And I'm like, wait, didn't you say you were 22? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, Oh, Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

I'm starting to understand some of those, some of those traumatic life experiences you've gone through. You got over the heroin. Literally the guy last night had a heroin problem. A serious one. Throughout his. Yeah. Yeah.

He's also awful at Russ. Sorry, buddy. I let him come play. He was, he was like, Hey, can I come play? And I was like, I was playing by myself, goofing around. And he's like, I was like, have you come play he was he was like hey can i come play and i was like i was playing by myself goofing around he's like i was like have you played before he's like oh yeah and i'm in my head i immediately assigned him like a silver reddit bat or a silver rust

badge like like he's i imagine the things that he's accomplished in and he gets there and he doesn't know how to do anything at all i I might as well be teaching Taylor to play Rust. Long story short, he ruined the night. I had bad dreams about the things that he ruined. Well, maybe if he just would have taken the edge off before he started. If he tied off right before we got going.

Do you have to be good at Rust to be helpful? If I told Taylor to bring back stacks and stacks of cobblestone, he'd get it done, even though he's brand new. I'd have to walk him through every step of it. He'd be like, well, how do I get in the base? Where's the base? How do I find the base? My character's thirsty.

What do I do about that? Oh, I spawned on the other end of the map. Wait, you didn't put a sleeping bag down? What's that? How do I make it? It won't let me put it down. Oh, yeah, you got to activate on the tool cupboard. What's a tool cupboard?

I've been hitting this rock for 10 minutes and nothing happened. Oh, yeah, that's not a stone ore. That's just a fucking rock you've been hitting. Well, what's the difference? And I'm just like, I don't want to play. You're working more trouble than you are. Poor guy, but I think you're right. No, nice guy.

Hey, I have this topic i i kind of just processed it as mma talk but chuck liddell said that he would beat prime mike tyson in his prime chuck liddell's got brain damage he probably thinks he could beat godzilla like literally has brain damage caused by getting punched in the head for a decade and tons of serious drug use he does he did say he'd beat him in mma you know so he's got oh this was a good kickboxer he was a wrestler in college then if he was allowed to do whatever he wanted then and they're both in their prime yeah of course the guy that's allowed to use i still don't know disposal no i would bet on mike tyson mike tyson only knows how to box though like that's a huge

advantage that's the debate yeah but mike tyson got in close and destroyed people and then if they got too close he grabbed them and he was incredibly powerful and he's it's tricky to me right and chuck liddell has way more tools in the toolbox which makes him interesting and dangerous right we we saw um randy couture fight james tony and he did this takedown where he like it is an ankle pick but he like slithered on his he was a foot off the ground like a snake and he grabbed his ankle he took the guy down the fight it was an easy easy win for the mma guy and james tony's no slouch all mike tyson can do is punch right that's all he can do but all pavarotti could do was sing but if you're good enough,

then you're good. Yeah, my money would be on Tyson. I could absolutely take a prime Pavarotti. He's way out of my weight class. I would have beaten him. I still got my money on Taylor. I'll even do the non-prime Taylor. I think Taylor 10 years from now beats

Pavarotti. Except prime me is like physically prime Pavarotti. Except Prime Me is like physically, Prime Pavarotti is like 63 when he's got his voice on point, right? I don't know. But you both have to wear tuxedos. Absolutely. I wouldn't fight him otherwise. It'd be disrespectful.

Have you ever listened to, what is it, Nessun Dorma? Ave Maria. Ave Maria, Nessun Dorma. I love it. Yeah, it's honestly beautiful. I listen to it a couple times a month, Pavarotti. It's really good. We should do a tuxedo episode in his a bit.

Taylor gets the smallest top hat they have and acts like it's normal. It won't have to be a joke. It'll just... It just sits on top. You have a bucket with a brim? That'll work. I'll look like an organ grinder monkey.

That little thing with the... What is that thing the Shriners wear? A fez. That's what it's called. What are the Shriners? Have you ever passed by their hospitals where it'll be like, this is a Shriners hospital and it's got a picture of a shrouded guy wearing a fez? I tried making fun of the Shriners one time and Woody shamed me.

This is like an episode five years ago. I was like, the fuck are those losers doing in traffic begging for money? And Woody's like, actually, they provide a lot of resources to children with cancer and disabilities. And I'm just like, well, that's not funny. Yeah, but look at those

shitty little hats. Yeah, do they have to wear the hats? Yeah. shitty little hats yeah they have to wear the hats well i didn't know what they do i didn't know if that was like a like a mason or a like a mason or a what's called elk lodge kind of thing where a bunch of guys pull money and do shit apparently it's a bunch of sweet old men who take care of sick children there was something called the moonshiners when i was a kid in ocean city and they were a legit cult that had like i don't know how they were allowed to exist but they were a full-on cult that brought people in got you know convinced them to sell all their belongings and stuff like all the locals

knew about the moonshiners and they dressed funny too like uh like the cultists will be dressed in tarkov you know with the robes and shit. Fucking cool. Yeah. Moonshiner. Robes are the future. Like, just nice, flowing, loose-fitting. Like, I think that's the future. Just throw it on and it's on.

No, it's going to be like patterned moo-moos like that Simpsons episode where Homer purposefully gains. Have you ever seen the Simpsons episode? It's like 1992 or something and so it's like homer is so fat that like his goal in 1992 is like i gotta get to 300 pounds and that way i can stay home from work and like even watching that you're just like i watched in the last year or two i was like three that recently 93, 300 pounds was thought of as like, that's outrageous. That's crazy. Like, there were people that heavy, but it's, you look at the obesity graph, it's insane the past 30 years. Outrageous.

He wasn't even, but he didn't look 300 pounds. He looked 500 pounds. Yeah, yeah. He had his big sheets, and then he has that little bird that just hits the no water. That was going to go there. He was working from home, and he had this bird that would just press the same button repeatedly. And as the programmer that worked from home, I felt personally attacked.

Yeah, it was literally the button that like vented hot gas from the nuclear reactor to prevent meltdowns. They couldn't automate that. Where's the any key? Oh, man. that where's the any key oh man i believe he ends up stopping the the explosion by literally his giant fat body falls into the tank and gets wedged in the top of it and and like he seals it off to prevent like the whole town from being irradiated but his the lower half of his body is just in a tank of like radioactive gas i guess yeah yeah this is

great it was great i watched that clip recently i think i even put it on stream at the end of watching stuff where wolfgang whatever is sitting there all tied up and the radioactive goop is coming towards him and they're like you know take these glasses just to be safe because it is real radioactive goop if you can't escape and it starts coming down and he's like I can't get out of the handcuffs and all the stuff hits him and he's like ah the glasses they do nothing I'm re-watching the early like the first 10-12 seasons of

The Simpsons again that's what I'm going to be doing while I'm working out. God, those are such good episodes. I'm looking for something to watch. I'm re-watching Star Trek Enterprise, like one of the worst Star Treks. And the only thing that keeps me going is Jolene Blaylock. She's so fucking hot.

She's so fucking hot. I don't give a fuck about the aliens or the temporal cold war. I'm just waiting for that sexy Vulcan bitch to come back on screen. It's hilarious to me that how hot this woman is has become a tentpole topic for regular already. I'm obsessed

with her. I'm obsessed with her. I would cut your head off if that meant that I could fuck Jolene Blaylock. Her titty, there's a scene like in the third episode of the entire series, maybe the second, where they have to get in like this like this like bright sonic shower type room and and like decontaminate because they got some alien fungus on them and it's like her and a hot male engineer or whatever and they're both in there like in their sort of like like underwear she's wearing

like a belly shirt that's just a shirt with no bra and her titties are so high and firm. They don't even look real, but they are. They're rubbing this decontamination gel on each other and he's like, yeah, turn around. He's talking shit to her. They hate each other, but he's hate massaging

her and then she's like, no, you turn around. She's hate massaging his thighs. Then they zoom in. Star trek knew what they were doing like zoom in on her sexy belly button while she like decontaminates that i guess it's ridiculous those who are listening i know you don't like star trek it's cool just google jolene blaylock star trek and just look her lips are crazy like like I've never seen another human female with lips that look like Jolene Blaylock's lips.

And to be honest, the pointy ears kind of take me back to a Lord of the Rings sort of elf look, which I also like. And I like her short hair. Big fan of Jolene Blaylock. Remind me again very very nice very nice

still not gonna watch the show i think the pictures sufficed but yeah they do they do just avoid the show the show's awful it's all they're just every watching it pop over to the no i'm not doing that i already finished off uh perry mason on hbo eight part mini series they'll probably do a second season it It's like crime noir. It's like 1920s, I guess, gumshoe detective stuff. Perry Mason is kind of classic anyway, but it follows his character trying to solve murders. It's really fucking good.

It's really good. The production value is crazy high. A lot of good actors. The story wasn't super gripping, but I think it's got a lot of good actors i didn't the story wasn't super gripping but i think it's got a lot of promise for the second season trying to find the scene kyle's talking about it's like well here's the scene where she's straight up making out with a dude in the shower that can't be it she likes this guy they they uh later on they get a lot of like, um, butt cleavage shots of her, like where they just show like the top two inches of her ass crack. Big fan of that.

Well, anyway, I should get back to the show. I mean, we could just, just stay here. Stay right here. Uh, um, do one of the slideshows. No, this, it was like a, like a clip video I found. No, but you could create one for us. Oh yes. Homework to do. create one for us. Oh, yes. Homework to do.

All right. Dude, so I'm curious on Taylor's opinion on this. Oh. Uber says they might have to shut down in California. And I'm interested because Taylor's very much a capitalist, but he's also not so much like, I don't know. The guy has $160 billion. He generally thinks the guy

probably has too much oh yeah and uh so here's the deal uber says they may have to stop doing california because california has decided that all those uber drivers should be employees now i have a little background in this employee versus contractor thing there are federal laws and many many moons ago I would help people decide whether their companies had employees or contractors because there's a risk there. You can't treat your contractors like employees or you're fucked.

Employees get some tax advantages. You pay their half of Social Security. And typically, you need to provide them with the company-wide benefits, things like health insurance. And I don't know, they get covered by comp, et cetera. So anyway, it's more expensive to have employees or all these costs associated with them. Whereas contractors, what you pay is what you pay and they handle their own costs.

Cool. Things like, do they provide their own equipment? Do they get to choose their own hours? A contractor, you might give them a project and then they finish it on their own, sort of like however they decide to do it. You know, like I want a program that does does this get back to me in four days contractor can do it days nights they bring their own computer do you train them you know like if you train someone a lot they're probably employees california has a rule that's that was new to me it's unique to california where they say that if this contractor employee person is

doing something that's like normal in this business or core to the business, then they are employees. So if these same people were writing programs, that's not really what Uber does. They'd be contractors, but no, they're driving the cars. That's the thing that Uber does in California and only California.

They can't be contractors they need to start getting all the health insurance and who knows we're gonna have to get rid of pretty much all our drivers in california if they make us implement this is is there is their claim yes they said they would shut down temporarily if a court decides to classify its drivers as employees now i put my own projection on this i could be wrong that they mean shut down temporarily in California. But yeah, Uber is like we can't operate if you're going to make all these drivers employees. I mean, I'm not educated enough to even know. But on the one hand, I do understand like, yeah, that's a big burden to make all of those Uber drivers suddenly employees.

That's undeniable. But also, you don't want these giant semi-monopolistic corporations tacitly threatening the government saying, well, you do this and all that tax revenue is going to go away. You know what? Maybe we'll double up, redouble our advertising efforts in Seattle, in Washington, Oregon, and try and regain some lost money. I don't like that about it. These huge companies threatening to leave if they can't dictate what they like. You see the Silicon Valley people do this all the time, where they'll have these nonsense little tribunals where three congressmen sitting there, each worth $4 million, just like, Mr. Zuckerberg, you have to promise not to do this anymore and like oh wow really do you know how much your seat would cost to change your seat your seat oh is this what we're

doing we're gonna pretend that i couldn't just change all of your districts if i wanted to on a whim with a billionth of my net worth okay okay oh i'm so sorry guys if i disobey definitely come after like you see that like dog and pony show too like you don't like that you'd like to see big business take advantage of it in twitch right generally we're contractors we provide our own equipment we set our own hours we do whatever we want to do you know they just provide like an infrastructure that we can work in it's very similar to uber i never felt like a twitch employee like i'm staff at twitch yeah but if i was in california they very well may say well this is kind of core to what Twitch does.

They provide streaming content. That makes sense, too. And that would be tough for them because of all the huge streamers in California. Yeah. If they made that claim. So I don't know. I saw it. I was just like, yeah, I feel like.

That's a really interesting thing. I like that because I never would have put those pieces together because definitely if they can make the case for uber they can absolutely make the case that twitch employees in california fall under that same banner definitely and um yeah i also look at twitch with the gig economy right in some ways there's this concept of friction right they say let's do imaginary taylor i don't know why i'm using your name but taylor you've got this job and it's okay for you and it's fine but but there's this other place you might work, right? Or this other career, whatever it is, and you'd be perfect for it. You would like it more. They would like you more. And the reason you're not there is friction. There's something about making it kind of hard

for you to leave this job and enter that one. There's a process there, et cetera. And technology has lowered the friction, right? Sober is one of the lowest friction things in the world like i think i could get that job over the internet just tell them how new my car is and they'd hire me and like it's super simple you do it with your phone okay yeah there's nothing to that yeah so there's very little friction and i thought that friction like that reduction in friction would be good for people right they'd all start finding their way in the right places the way it's worked out is it seems like it's good for employers like yeah you know it it like they could so easily get somebody else that you might not have the same value you did before where it's like ah replacing me is tricky no replacing you super easy it's like the

opposite of a union now there's no friction and And yeah, I would be interested to know whose idea this was, because I bet it's some sort of taxi company lobby, right? It's some sort of livery service lobby who's tired of Uber taking all of their business away, and they're trying to change the rules so that they can compete. That's possible. It's happened in Silicon Valley a lot. And where it happens is they say, hey, we've noticed there's this big batch of contractors who haven't been getting stock options all this time, but your company's exploded.

So you really are due. They haven't been compensating you like an employee, but they've been treating you like one. So let's sue them and get the last 10 years of pay that you would have had. And then, you know, there's whatever, 50,000 people in this class action suit, and they win. It happened. Microsoft is lost. Not sure about Cisco.

Apple is lost before. IBM, I think, is lost. Anyway, so that's how it's come out in other cases. This one, I don't know. I don't think your theory could. Your theory is viable, I think. But it could have also just been a whole lot of drivers due to like get pieces of Uber stock gains. Did you see Shroud came back to Twitch and immediately like blew up with half a million viewers and was –

I checked like a couple minutes after he'd been back and he was right about to hit 20,000 subscribers. Is that number right though, the The half million? That's amazing. It was like 480,000 watching live on Twitch. Although that's exactly Doc had more on YouTube when I looked at what he had watching live. He had like half a million. That was the night that Shroud and I combined for 480,000 viewers. Yeah. It was a big night for you both. yeah it's a big night for you both he like tweeted out uh on obviously on twitter like the screenshot of the summary of like the

stream summary and it shows like all your metrics he was averaging like a quarter million people at a time almost half a million at his highest and it showed how many subs he gained in that one stream 16 500 that's that's like and he's not getting the rate that woody and i get on subs he's not getting a sub he's yeah he's probably got a fucking signing bonus yeah he's probably got four bucks a sub and yeah and a huge signing bonus so like that's he's he's rolling it for him yeah of course of course yeah he seems like a real down-to-earth guy i like that and uh and i mean shit landmarks the same way landmark hit 20 000 subscribers the other day

uh and works super hard works he works super hard for it uh i love his streams i watch him i literally watch his stream every day he starts at four or five p.m i watch a lot of his stream too and when i do i usually get a little more attention than like, it's not that it becomes all about me, but other people like, hey, Woody, I like Painkiller already, stuff like that. And now I'm less interested in writing because I think Kyle's there watching. Oh, I'm there watching. Kyle will see it.

Yeah. I don't want to ask Landmark to play with me because Kyle will judge me. He's here too, I bet. No, I sat onk a while back because you were you were you were talking so they had the channel point system and landmark did have it set up so that when you had enough channel points you could duo with him and he's gone away from that now he does like these drawings uh like these random drawings he does but anyway woody was lamenting that he he had enough points or he was just about having enough points and then the system

changed and i was like come on now tell landmark to play with woody and then i was watching the other day and somebody comes on and uses the tts they're like please please play with woody what do you want what do you want play what do you what do you need play we like landmark rskkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk landmark. RSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK nice message up until that yeah i've asked him to play and uh he didn't reply and i'm like well i'm not just gonna like like there's a fair chance he doesn't see it because there's like 10 000 people the stream goes quick but i'm like i'm not gonna keep asking that's i'll say this i'll say this he doesn't like to duo with with his friends like he just doesn't like doing it he doesn't think he's good at it and you know his attention is split like four different ways between the game his partner the chat and uh and you know dealing with tts which is crazy on his channel because it's people like to spam it to

like goof around and and he's smart he bought foot pedals to like to like immediately cut it off so he doesn't have to divert his attention to his other monitor to cancel a TTS. It's $3 TTS and it'll just say 7 heptillion. 777 heptillion, 777 reptillion. Numbers you've never even heard of. You didn't know they went that high. It's just 87s or something like that. It's a good show. I'm never turning on text of like you didn't know they went that high it's just 87s or something like that yeah it's fun i'm never i'm never turning on text-to-speech i it's hilarious i don't doubt it but it's you can get

you can get booted off twitch for stuff that they say well you just well you just you know maybe you could talk to someone who's already like accomplished this but he's got all the bad words blocked and all the secret ways to say it. He's got 10,000, 12,000 degenerates watching live, and they can't say it. Now, I will say, about a month ago, I was watching. I need his block list. And the guy just comes on

and goes, inward, inward, inward. You can't stop me, inward. And Landmark's face just goes, and he goes, shit! He ends the stream, deletes the VOD, comes right back on, and he's just like,

I don't know how that happened. It's in the blocked words. This is bullshit. He's talking to his mods. They all have a powwow. They get the thing fixed. I kind of chuckle about it, mostly because of his reaction, and it's an understandable reaction. Ten minutes later, N, inward, inward. I'm back inward.

He's just like, the fuck? He has to do the whole same thing again. The only guy with a true inward pass. He's like, no more TTS this stream. We're going to work on it off stream. And now he uses a different system. People, when they donate, I text a speech on for three dollars just like landmark and uh they get cut off all the time it's usually the f-bomb that makes it not

work and it's usually not even mean they're it's like excited or something fuck or fag fuck oh they don't care oh this has fuck all in it yeah you can use fuck. It's a banned word on my channel. I don't know why. Sometimes I have banned words because, like, let's say, I don't know. Asshole, right? Rarely is the rest of that comment one I want to hear, right? You know, I might ban asshole just because, well, shucks. No one raps asshole in a compliment yeah like you know i feel like a real asshole i missed your last stream but

i'm here here's three dollars right yeah that's so uncommon i'm going to fuck you in the asshole yeah fuck i don't think that's a compliment yeah i'm going to ban retard on my channel and start a riot. That's it. Every day. I don't know how many numbers I have banned, but it's a good amount, like 20. And they're all pieces of loved ones' social security numbers. Sometimes they were Woody Craft's staff or Woodyody craft staff's mom's social security number you know so people be like i'll make one up you know why is 279 banned i can't say it it's like oh long

story but there was this guy on woody craft and they were attacking his mom to force him to give them an unbanned and you know so i had to prevent people from doxing poor guy's mom. People take the Minecraft seriously. Yeah, I'm telling you. So that's why there's so many weird numbers. I guess I take Rust seriously, but I wouldn't attack someone's mother. You want to get them offline. I'm going to attack your base, and I need you to not be there defending it. So if you don't want your mom grounding you, either I'm opening credit cards in your

mom's name or uh you're gonna let me raid your base that's outrageous you gotta do it like the the way a real man does it you stay up all fucking night and wait for him to go to sleep exactly they have the computer in their bedroom making alarm sounds with explosions. Oh, I do that now. I change all my settings. I turn speakers on, and then I crank the volume with my character just lying down in the base. And if they start raiding, it wakes me up. But we've done that before where like, all right, we want to raid these guys. Obviously, they're online.

We can check on battle metrics. So let's just all go to bed and we'll set our alarms for 4 30 a.m and you know we all wake up at 4 30 a.m if they're still on we just go back to sleep for another hour and if they're they're off it's time to go and i just remember like i just getting on at 4 30 a.m like with a cup of coffee and looking and seeing all my friends start appearing online be like yeah it's go's go time. It's go time. It's dedication. Across the country fucking degenerates are waking up at

4.30am to go blow up somebody's imaginary base. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah, I would be terrible at that game. There's a 0% chance I'm getting an alert to wake up at 4.30. I'd be like, take everything. The teams were much bigger on Minecraft. So like, Taylor, you might be highly desirable because you're so good at PvP and and kyle's highly desirable because he makes these you know automated potions or

something and this other guy well he's actually not that good but he's australian so he can watch us while we're at school so while i'm at school this guy's defending the base and then we swap yeah is that like a service you can purchase? Like, yeah, I'm a technical Australian. I watch your face. Like, yep. Play my didgeridoo right into the Discord. Dude, you played your didgeridoo. I think it was Kyle.

I was like, I've heard better. It's still a great one. I loved it. I got a decent warble down with it. Middy has a soundboard with like, I don't even know how many different clips in it like like he every everything related to this show and to wings every everything you've ever heard from that all of the like like tons of music and like uh movie quotes and stuff and like he's got one for like every scenario and rust it's so fun we'll get on our boat and we're all dressed up you know drop out in the boat heading out to the ocean to go like do some

pirate shit and all of a sudden i hear it's the pirates of the caribbean music and then you know we're rocking with the waves the the bow of the ship is up and down the water's splashing on us and i'm and i'm like yeah we are kind of pirates huh i've um i've played with midi before he plays tarkov a little bit he doesn't overuse it which i really admire right there's a temptation to just play a sound every 10 seconds nope nope you get you get a couple of night they're well done he's great i do it like like i love um he's got the sad hulk music that uh joe lozon used to play like wings would start lamenting his life like whatever is true whatever is going wrong with his life

and lozon like on his phone just starts playing just the sad hulk music and just just grin, looking at wings with zero pity in his eyes. Coming from Luzon, it like, he's not living in a glass house, right? The guy created his own reality and it's like, fuck.

Yeah, it's great. So he's got that one, um, you know, and, and he's just got like all of, all of the like wings, like greatest hits and like the ancillary characters, too.

So like Levi, the gunman had that's a that's a wings redemption ancillary. He's he's just this guy that would show up. I think he was like, you know, wings, aunt's boyfriend or something like that. I don't know. But he just showed up and he had a gun like in a holster and he's like and when he's like this is levi he's he's the gun man and he goes i'm the gun man boom like he was a short-lived character he's doing the show and for some reason there's a skinny young boy in a confederate uniform oh my god that was outrageous kyle's like wait wait wait stop the presses here for a second why is there a young confederate soldier in your background it's going to the reenactment i he might have been they were dude when i went to wings house that time the second time that not when you and i went

um to take uh like promo photos for for hot wings of redemption with him with a flamethrower and everything there was a confederate reenactment going on 20 minutes from his house they were in a field in uniforms marching and shit and I'm just like I'm from the south but god damn where am I they do that shit all over the place, don't they? Up in Gettysburg, obviously, they do a big one there in Pennsylvania. But down here in the South, there's this group called the Sons of Confederate Veterans. And I remember they tried to recruit my dad once. He's like, don't worry, everybody's got an ancestor that fought. And dad's just like,-huh uh-huh so uh

what's the benefit to this ah we just like to have a good time and i'm just like looking at my dad like we're gonna get the fuck out of here these what are you talking about seems like they're getting drunk and dressing up playing in the woods my only stipulation is that i want to be on the union so i get to win every year yeah i i don't i see i'm from the north and i see the confederates as pretty much the naz in this story, right? They were fighting to maintain slavery and put down another race. I get to pick whatever side I want.

I prefer my version of reality. Okay. Which is a made-up one that I've come up with that allows me to feel pride that my ancestors fought in the Great War of Northern Aggression. You should be able to L larp any war you want with any outfits as long as you guys might as well be fucking like reenacting star trek or star wars battles so have fun with it yeah i'm sorry to have fun

with this no i agree with what a hundred percent you know i had that conversation with my dad like literally a few months ago we were watching some – I think it was some people. We were watching YouTube clips, and this guy had a Nazi fucking face mask on. And I was like, we already fought the war about that. That one's all wrapped up. And he's like, what the fuck are these people doing? A Nazi? What is this about?

My grandfather fought the fucking Nazis. This is what we fought Nazis. You know what? I want to come up with a cool symbol. They ruined the swastika, unfortunately. It's a cool angular symbol. It looks neat. We need to come up with another cool angular symbol and maintain it totally apolitical.

It looks dope on your mask. And people are like, holy shit, what's that mean? And you're like, it just looks tight, dude. You know whose mask looks really good to me? it's maybe their favorite mask design i've seen trump's it's like navy blue it has a presidential seal kind of off to the off it's not like his mouth it's like off to the side it's the perfect side everything about it i the second i saw it and people watch the show a lot no i'm not like a big trump fan but i saw it and i'm like well you can't hate that it's something that about the presidential seal too like that is a a very rare honor i thought about i

thought about buying one of these and wearing it to the grocery store and then i was like man there's gonna be a lot of commitment to shave my head and my beard for this one little bit. But then I was like, man, it would be worth it to, to play him on Halloween. If you also get a voice changer, you know, especially if you do it for PKA,

your hair short enough to do a bald cap. Um, you can hire someone in your area to throw a bald cap on you for like a reasonable amount of money, like less than $200. And, uh, like, I don't know if you

saw that hitman video i did they did a pretty good job like i hired the one of the makeup people that worked on the walking dead and uh i thought i did a really good job my mother didn't recognize me that day it was and it i thought like it's gonna be lumpy like i'm gonna press and there's gonna be lumps of hair but it wasn't it wasn't lumpy it was smooth i would have expected cone head you know because there has to be space for that volume of hair but but it wasn't. It wasn't lumpy. It was smooth. I would have expected cone head, you know, because there has to be space for that volume of hair, but not really. Yeah, it worked out really well. They glue it to your face and then

the margins, and then he used an airbrush to blend everything in, and it worked. I was just looking at his mask and I was like, that would be a cool costume. You got that big popped collar there. That looks neat. He looks so toasty.

And then I was like, wait, but with my big fat fucking face, look at where that plastic is pushing in under his cheek. And that little pocket by the, I would just be, it would just be pushing up cheek fat. And his chipmunk cheeks,

like those little holes on the side, like you're, like you're storing some almonds. I would look absurd. Oh, but wait. Scroll down. How fucking pimp would you be in the tactical vest? Oh, wait. Hold on. That's right. It comes with the vest.

Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool. It's tank top. Taylor, you would kick ass in that vest. That's a pretty cool vest. I'm really turned on by this coat i like the big coat i like the coat too dude yeah i hear you but the coat hides some of your best assets but you take the coat off dramatically over and over on halloween night and then eventually

you're so drunk you forget it at whatever party you're at and you have to try and find it later is what i would predict then you get military tactical pants i like that jacket for how much is the jacket can you get it you can't you can't do his costume though unless you're as jacked as tom hardy was in that movie or he'd look at you look like a fucking goob he's not as jacked as you think he is dude the coat is 137 on amazon oh my god all right all right it's pretty reasonable look at the so you see the jacket and obviously he's dressed like bane right but take that make it a twitch stream where you're only really seeing like chest up i think it works as an amelia erhart right you throw that fucking thing on the goggles and uh and a scarf coming out the back

it's a multi-faceted jacket you're right you can get just saying you can get the original costume like the one tom hardy wore for uh for three oh that's 30 000 okay never mind that's a lot for a twitch gag. New Patreon goal by Taylor. Do you know how tall this is? I'm already like 5'9". I just look, I'm just pouring out of it like a fat fuck. That's true. That's true, too. I think he's on the shorter side, like 5'9", 5'10".

I haven't even tried on the fucking Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020 cosplay gear yet. That's good. That looks like Microsoft Flight Simulator 1920. Hey, there's a barnstorming plane in there. You're going to fucking kill it, baby. Oh, no! Oh, no!

I like that look. Oh, this is good. They've got masks. Just regular surgical masks that you can buy with the Bane goat seat on the front. I bet that looks terrible bent over your nose. But this is a lot of potential. What about the Scorpion mask from Mortal Kombat?

I can't picture that. It looks a lot like the trendy mask that people wear now. How much is this? When will it arrive? Oh, yeah, it does. It's got the skull, the bottom half skull face on it, right? Yeah. You can go with the Sub-Zero or the Scorpion. I'm more of a Scorpion guy myself.

I like the chain and the fireball. I'm only looking at costumes now because even today, my girlfriend's like, hey, you know, it's the middle of August. We should probably get planning our Halloween costumes, our couple's Halloween costumes. And it's like, oh, okay.

Well, that's fine. It is better to be prepared than panic. I have some ideas myself. What do you got? I'd rather not say, of course. I got a few things in the back burner. Can you say a couple that maybe didn't quite make the cut? Oh, I haven't really narrowed it down.

I've just kind of got a general idea of what I what i'm going for we'll see as it gets closer for the show it's tough because you have to pick costumes only from here to here you know yeah a lot of times all the accessories and the cool shit the belts it's really about your head it's really about your head and you know and and maybe your top i got burnt on that that last Halloween. I had special pants. I had the Superboy boots on. They counted for nothing. The boots did not count for much, no. No, I mean, eventually they found out,

but they all got mad for a couple hours anyway. But yeah, next time around, like you said, collarbone up is what really counts. Yeah. We could go with a theme. Just throwing that out there again you know you know we could we could pick like a

Star Wars dumb and dumber I'm gonna be the van we'll see there aren't three characters I'll be the van with the dog ears you're the van I call Jeff Daniels dude that would be awesome that's actually really funny i don't know how you address it as a van though oh you don't remember the van i think maybe you don't know the van from dumb and dumber i'm trying to remember

it's a dog it's a big oh yeah i mean like dog how's he gonna look like that? By making himself a giant sheepdog. Okay, this is actually a pretty good idea then. Wait, but you get to be Jeff Daniels? I mean, you can be... I'll be Jim Carrey if you want. Just for a Jeff Daniels tux. No, I'm going to have a strong opinion on who I want to be.

I need to think about it first. Yeah, that's a good idea what are some other other three-part costumes we could do um star wars star wars star trek um wwe um i don't know any of those people lord of the rings lord of the rings i like Lord of the Rings for one. You know, any sci-fi thing or fantasy thing that's got one of those ensemble casts. Game of Thrones, if they hadn't poisoned themselves in our minds and hearts, would be a wonderful one. Ooh, a nice Elrond costume. would be a wonderful one. Ooh, a nice Elrond costume.

That long, flowing hair with his little braids on the side like the Hasidic Jews do. Yeah. Always wanted those. You know, I don't think... He has to have something to twirl when I'm thinking. Yeah, and he's got a lot of time to think because he's immortal. Mm-hmm. Kyle, you be Biden. Taylor, you

be Trump. I'll be Kamala. Yes. Ooh. oh you're you're the good thing is kamala's so white that you don't even need the black face you're tan enough kamala is literally whiter than d as martina martinez and it's always sunny hey white boys yeah she is not even close she's um she's half indian half jamaican uh but we looked that up the other day yeah i i'm gonna be putting some real thought into these halloween costumes for the next couple months there's a lot of there's potential to be funny here we can we can figure yeah i wish i could do a fucking biden impression it's i i need to listen to him one i heard someone do one on the radio the other day you know like like a morning show

and he had it the stutter is probably part of it oh did you see somebody let me find this yeah part of the the bit was he was very confused about where he even was at the time but he had the voice down he had the voice down really well this guy does ben shapiro's annoying ass voice and you know ben shapiro was like making those stupid comments about like wop or some show that some song that yeah what it is that cardi b made and he was like doing his like over the top stupid analysis and trying to make it much more of a thing about culture than it was. And this guy really does the Ben Shapiro voice well, and he's not even mocking that much what Ben Shapiro was saying. Ben was like, and these people are talking about wet vaginas.

My wife would tell you that that might be a disease you're dealing. He was getting roasted for questioning the reality. Let me give a little background for people who haven't seen this meme. So I guess there's a song i haven't seen this song but it's like wet ass pussy and the girl talks about just how turned on she is and how wet she is and stuff like that well ben shapiro's wife is a doctor and she had like a couple of like diagnosis is why they're someone's pussy might be that wet and uh so ben shapiro came out and he's like it might be vaginitis. It might be this. And everyone took it as the greatest cell phone ever.

It was. He doesn't know that women's pussies get wet when they're turned on. His wife tried to convince him that a wet pussy is really a disease and not something that would happen very often. What? Yeah. People weren't trying to say it was a great cell phone. It was an incredible cell phone. So I didn't know all that. I thought because I saw those like it's that meme where the guy's sitting in front of like a college with a table and there's a sign in front of it says wet pussies don't exist. Convince me.

You know, change my mind. Yeah, it's that meme. And I was just like, OK, so they're just making fun of like the very idea that ben shapiro doesn't know about turning women on okay i didn't know that there was a whole background story that's embarrassing there's a song where the woman is like over the top slutty and talking about how wet her pussy is it a cardi b song i'm not sure okay i guessed and then uh so ben shapiro like list reads the lyrics and clutches his pearls about how terrible today's society is. That was the bit he did. But now everyone is like, what? You don't know? Let's watch this thing.

Yeah. This guy's impression of it is so on. Are you guys ready? All right. Yep. Ready, set, play. So recently a song was released. It's very popular.

It's all over the radio. Nailing it. It's by Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B. It's called WAP. These are some of the lyrics. Whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's WAP. These are some of the lyrics. Whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house.

There's some whores in this house. Hold up. I said certified freaks seven days a week. Wet, wet, wet. Make that game week. Woo. And all I'm saying is I think they're spreading some false information. I've never seen a pussy get wet, let alone seen a pussy, I don't know, be anything other than just what's on a female's body.

And trust me, I know the female body. I'm married and I've never seen her be wet before. I've never been wet. The thing is, humans don't want to be wet. I think this is false information. And I just want to let everybody know that the liberals are, you know, of course, once again, trying to spread false information to the youth. He nailed it so fucking hard hard it's so fucking good like i would have thought that was ben shapiro if you close your eyes that it's great when you

hear an impression that's so spot on like that i see things really good that shapiro didn't say or write but written in his style that makes me read it in his voice. Yeah. Cardi B is so fucking filthy. I have to listen to her music occasionally. It's played. And I'm just like, I'm not paying attention at first. And then all of a sudden I'm like, wait, what the fuck did she just say?

We're in public. We're in public. I'm a grown ass man. I've had a whole bunch of sex. That's making my face turn a little red. That's shameful what she's saying. There are children here. There were at the time.

There was like two 14-year-olds there. I was like, they don't need to hear about this. She's talking about all sorts of – she's talking about her pussy 24-7. She's a horrific person, by the way. She used to be a stripper, and she would drug men and rob them. She would lure them back to home. She would Bill Cosby men and instead of raping them, she would rob them. No, dude, that's girl power.

Yeah, that's larceny. It is, but she's never going to get called on it. Yeah. I heard her on Stern about five years ago, four years ago, I guess, and she's just a was i heard her on stern about five years ago four years ago i guess

and she's just a real brain dead fucking is she person um i don't surprise you i like it when they go on like a stern and you're like wow this person's got some real gray matter like i didn't expect lady gaga lady gaga is like that and um you know and her i like when their live performances are as good as like um you know the album like lady gaga was on stern if anybody's listening to this and you give a fuck at all like google and listen to her play i think she did poker face or maybe but she's got a piano in studio and she kills it it sounds just as good as her album like she's legitimately super talented i don't listen to either of their music you know who's more talented than he gets credit for i don't know who she is justin bieber's really

talented everyone hates on that guy okay you say of course i feel like in general they i've seen a lot of people make fun of his guitar playing and really i'm no i feel like he aged out i've seen his cock yes yeah he's talented all around yeah he ain't out of the like being mocked for being a squirrely little guy hasn't he like i don't hear anything about he's looking rough these days yeah he looks like a gas station employee okay we agree it's two two sides of the same coin yeah he looks like he works at a gas station he's thin he's pretty fit ish i think but um oh it's the mustache that that's giving you that impression yeah you have a link i like Yeah, he looks like he works at a gas station. He's thin. He's pretty fit-ish, I think. Oh, it's the mustache that's giving you that impression.

Yeah. Do you have a link? I like Ed Sheeran's look. He just doesn't fucking care. And I like the stories about Ed Sheeran. Have you ever heard Russell Crowe talking about teaching Ed Sheeran to drink? No. Russell Crowe was doing this Australian morning radio show, and he's telling the story of teaching Ed Sheeran to drink.

Ed Sheeran had told him, he was like, yeah, I'm super hungover from last night. And Russell Crowe was like, I'll come over tonight. I'll show you a few things. So he shows up to Ed Sheeran, and he's got all the ingredients to this drink that he drinks. Russell Crowe's a notorious alcoholic, by the way, so keep that in mind. He's a fucking pro. He shows up and he's like, whole bucket of ice, right?

Like this big bucket of ice. Then he takes an entire bottle of Patron. He pours passion fruit in and then an entire bottle of Patron over everything. And it melts. The ice melts, of course. So you're able to drink an entire bottle of Patron

throughout the course of the night if you just keep drinking this whole thing because you're drinking so much water along with it. And the passion fruit, I guess, has some effect as well, not beyond just making it taste good. And so you're hydrating the whole time, you don't get a hangover and you can drink a whole bottle of tequila

and not be ruined the next day. And so like, so Ed Sheeran goes back to like, he's in the New York city. He's a, he's in this fancy restaurant and he's, he's with some people. He's trying to impress them. He's like, Hey, you want to see this drinking trick? I learned from Russell Crowe. And they're like, yeah, yeah. So he tells the waiter, yeah, bring us a whole bottle of Patron. And so they bring us a whole bottle of Patron. And so they bring him a whole bottle of Patron and he pours it in there with the passion fruit and he just starts killing it. He's drinking these five ounce glasses of putting it away. And the next, the next day they're like, what were you doing? He's like, what do you mean? I don't feel so good. What did you do last night? He's like, I don't know. What did I do last night?

He's like, you took your shoes and socks off in the middle of the restaurant and put them on the table. You look like a madman. He didn't use the ice. He didn't use the ice. He was drinking straight tequila the whole time. That was the only part of the trick. That's what Russell Crowe said. He's like, mate, the whole point is the ice.

It's the whole point. That's the ice. You got nothing. Just a bottle of tequila. You know, the next drinking episode, let's all get ice buckets and do the Russell Crowe challenge. I'm absolutely down. As soon as I'm allowed to drink again. Actually, by the time I'm allowed to drink again, I'll be allowed to smoke again.

So maybe we'll do a different kind of episode. I'm down with either. Yeah. Yeah. Works with me. I'll get one of those $800 joints that looks like a fucking baseball bat. And then take like a few hits and be like, all right, let's hold this for later. Huge waste of money.

Why did we buy this? It's for the story, man. I bought it for the story. Before we jump into the next thing, we're going to hear from someone awesome, and that is Squarespace. This episode of PKA is brought

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Head on over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash pka to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain that is squarespace.com slash pka check them out get yourself a website guys and if you guys make a good funny website send it to us we want to look at it yeah tweet. Tweet it, Woody, and he'll share it with the rest. I'll burn it. Question for you, boys. This is a $10 Patreon-level question here, the same one he gets at PKN. On your body, would you rather replace 15 pounds of fat with muscle, 15 pounds of muscle, or would you rather have your compound lifts go up by 75 pounds and your single muscle lifts go up by 15 to 30 pounds?

Definitely switch out the fat for the muscle i'm that's gonna give me an enormous increase in lifts in the first place you know how many dips i'm gonna be able to do dude if i have 15 pounds of fat converted to converted to muscle i'm gonna have to put on my weight i just have no interest in getting stronger like that's so that's such a low priority list i feel like the b side of this should have been something much better. Because I think someone said, would you want a more attractive face? One of the questions one time was more attractive face or more attractive body. And it's like, ah, I got to think about that.

But with this one, it's like, well, yeah, A, because who gives a fuck how strong you are? I think Taylor does for some odd reason. It's fun. I'm like, oh, man, I can't wait to be able to pick up that box and i'm helping people move isn't it though let me well part of that is but there's an internal satisfaction when you pull up or put up numbers that you've never done before it's like a real tangible like holy shit taylor a month ago couldn't have achieved this there was real difference a little right. What if the A side was swap the 15 pounds of fat with muscle and the B side was $150,000? Dollars?

Yeah. Oh, you definitely take the money. I'm taking the money. Yeah. All right. Well, I made a mistake. Now the B side is $15,000. Yeah, you still take the money.

The A side is pretty easy to accomplish. $15,000? Swapping 15 pounds of fat for muscle might be worth 15 grand to me especially if it's a new 15 grand as opposed to removing from the current network no i already know what i would do i'd be like 15 more pounds of muscle 15 less pounds of fat i can eat whatever i want forever that's how that works so someone on my stream there was a question like woody would you rather have like a perfect body or would you rather have a perfect body or would you rather improve your body a ton

or keep your hairline or something like that? And it was like, yeah, if you gave me, I don't know, Brad Pitt's body, I'd just fuck it up. I might as well keep the hair. But I don't think... Gaining 15 pounds of muscle, losing 15 pounds of fat, isn't something that... I mean, you could fuck that right up pretty quickly

because a pound of muscle burns like 12 calories a day. Like it's nothing. What? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was more, that's disheartening. Yeah. It's like, it's like 12 calories a day. I I'm 90, 90% sure. Um, and then, you know, 15 pounds of fat gone, you can, that's a pound is 3,500 calories. So you're talking about 35,000 plus seven, 42,000 calories that you can splurge on. As soon as you splurge on that, you've gained it back. Yeah. But what a few weeks that'll be. That'd be a great day though, right? Yeah.

Just what am I getting? Another $5 hot and ready, sir. Just wolfing, not even good food. What's a five dollar hot and ready sir just just wolfing not even good food just what's a five dollar hot and ready uh little caesar's pizza is a little is does that everywhere i thought that was everywhere it's i just don't go to oh okay much pizza um yeah bad no i i'd like that swap it'd be an easy call if it was somehow permanent like you know like i think everyone has kind of a resting body, whether that be your lifestyle, your genetics or whatever. Like, this is where you trend to. And you almost have to fight, like be really irresponsible to get too fat or really disciplined to get better than your sort of resting body. If you would just improve my resting body, my normal state of affairs by 15 and 15, I'd look pretty good.

Yeah, absolutely. Would you guys ever get aggravated? Maybe not when you would go out to dinner with someone who is like, I remember a friend of mine lives somewhere else now, but he was like 6'3 and i think he weighed 160 pounds 155 pounds like an outrageously skinny person like the they didn't make belts in his size like every time you look at his belt he might even need more muscle yeah yeah he did some more whatever and then he would like we'd go out to eat or something after work and he'd be like dude i'm famished and i'm like dude me too i'm getting two entrees and like he would get his entree like a burger take two bites and then like eat three fries and then just sit there and watch me bow down and i just wanted to be like dude if we could just kind of average this somehow we could we could hit a real happy medium here

like but then i also think like that would suck to not like want to eat to have no appetite like you wouldn't like you you couldn't build muscle you couldn't get fitter like you just you would just be a skinny guy forever but i was like that in my prime i didn't get any joy out of food you know this is like 20 year old woody 20 year old woody yeah i did i was just like god i have a certain job to do where i eat these meals and they're all healthy meals i'm like an athlete at this point and uh you know i eat to sustain life and to stay fit and that was all the that was why i ate it wasn't because i look forward to that meal now like my dinner tonight it was pork big potato and mixed vegetables nothing

amazing amazing but to me it was like a combination of good food and me being so hungry i loved my dinner tonight and that just wasn't me at 21 i never enjoyed a meal really i would like that back if i had that back i'd have ads back yeah if i stopped liking food that'd be. How do you feel about Adderall? I think I'm a fan. It seems like it just... Performance enhancing drugs. Really? Yeah. Adderall always made me find food disgusting.

Yeah, you just don't want to eat... The very idea of a chocolate bar, even. Whatever the thing that you think, yeah, even when I'm full, I kind of would like a Reese's cup. I could do one at least. Right. Like an ice cream sandwich.

I don't go and get them, but if you were to put one in front of me, you can't keep it. It's mine now. Yeah. Yeah. But Adderall always made that stuff seem disgusting to me. Huh. Have you ever ordered two things at a place and you had to pretend that one of them was for getting it to go? Oh, damn it.

Are you like, oh, I'm picking up food for someone else also? I do have someone in my universe that would – he's married and he would stop and have McDonald's on the way home to dinner. To dinner. Oh, well, I'd rather probably have dinner at home than a McDonald's. That's a drug addict behavior right there. That's the guy who has a bad relationship with food the thing that that taylor was was talking about there's a key and peel skit that's just like that have you ever seen it the guy is calling a pizza place and he's huge he's calling a pizza place and he's like yeah i want to order uh nine

pies having a big party having he's all by himself he's like having a big party so uh michelle michelle what'd you say you wanted yes she wants extra cheese only and he's like like taking orders from imaginary people around him and the other guy's taking the order he's like tell me more about michelle what she looked like i would like to meet her he's like he's like michelle um uh she's she's got a weight problem she's not very attractive he's like oh i care about what's on the inside and she sounds like she is beautiful on the inside he's like trying to convince this guy that like he doesn't want to date his imaginary friend who's fake ordering pizza so that he can have nine pies it's a it's a good it's a good sketch it gets very dark at the

end i was more meaning like i'll go to Chipotle and want a burrito bowl and a quesadilla and you have to order your burrito bowl or your burrito and then be like, oh, I got another one. You pretend to look at your phone. And she wants extra steak on that.

And then at the end, you walk out of there like they knew. You're like fake arguing with a person on the phone about their unhealthy decisions. Well, the meals are already in the bag. Well, if you know what, to prove you wrong, I will add another chicken quesadilla onto the meal. I'm sorry. I don't even know if you know if you do this, but she seems to think you do. Could you dip the whole burrito in queso?

Submerge it, roll it a couple times, and then throw it in the foil that's what she wants i know i know if she's being ridiculous can you use a quesadilla to wrap the burrito now that you can do you can do all right well i'll take one of those that's literally an option that's literally an option yeah no way yeah you know that i'm getting who's yeah is it um dunkin donuts that will make we use donuts as the bread for like a breakfast oh yeah like a little bagel sandwich but it's yeah they'll they'll they'll just put a donut yeah it looks good which honestly sounds awful but like i look i remember one day like someone was comparing like a coca-cola like a full sugar coca-cola to like how many donuts it took to equal it i was blown away it's like eight donuts or I remember one day someone was comparing a Coca-Cola, like a full sugar Coca-Cola,

to how many donuts it took to equal it. I was blown away. It's like eight donuts or something in a Coca-Cola. Donuts actually aren't that bad for you. There's not as much sugar in there as you think. But it's not just sugar though, right? Because there's a lot of fat in there. So this might be highly caloric,

even if the calories aren't all sugar. Let me see how many are in. Let's just pick a Krispy Kreme donut. Yeah, yeah. Glazed, if you could calories aren't all sugar. Let me see how many are in. Let's just pick a Krispy Kreme donut. Yeah, yeah. Glazed, if you could. That's my favorite. I don't think those are as bad as you think. Let's guess before I look. Okay, a single glazed donut, I'm going to go $3.90.

I'm going to say $1.70. I'm going to say $2.10. Okay. $1.90. Damn it, I busted. You win, I suppose. That's not bad at all. No, once I heard your numbers, I'm like, these fools.

They all went low, but I was wrong. Like I said, it's not as bad as you think it is. I mean, obviously you don't make meals of donuts. You put two of them. Now we're up to threatening 400 in just the bread. You put a sandwich in the middle of some sort.

Oh, no, you split the donut. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was a donut on top and bottom. Well, I don't think I'm kidding what I paid for. I pulled a Woody the other day. I was watching.

I hear that all the time. I don't know what it is. I pulled a woody the other day. I was watching. I hear that all the time. I don't know what it is. I pulled a woody the other day. Dude, they started saying that in my acro club, pulling woodies. And these are things I've never done. Everything is pulling a woody. Are you insulting a black man? No, it's like a total woody.

No, no, no. I didn't insult anyone. Well, I'm befuddled. What did you do? They'll be like, I pulled a woody. I ran out of gas. I didn't insult anyone. Well, I'm befuddled. What did you do? They'll be like, I pulled a Woody. I ran out of gas. I've never done that. Why is it pulling a Woody shorthand for everything now?

But then once I fussed about it, it became a running joke. And now everything is pulled. There's a guy. I'm sorry, para stories. He broke a personal record. He went over 100 miles in a paraglider. So there's no motor. He just went from column of rising air to column rising air.

And to break the 100-mile marker is kind of this distinguishing thing. Most people haven't done that. He pulled a woody. In this case, that meant he peed himself four times on the trip because he was unprepared to urinate. And so he just went on himself during the flight. And I'm like, I've never done. Why is everything pulling a woody but there's an example well mine was just i was mindlessly watching impractical jokers and i had one of those tins of like smokehouse almonds which tastes so

good and i was just you know how it is sitting there munching episode by episode goes by and before you know it your salty fingers are hitting tin and you're like there's no way there's no way i ate this many almonds and then you just throw it away before you look at the calorie information what no you broke it you didn't eat the salt dust you gotta shake that tin every now and then to redistribute that salt dust on them all. What kind of almonds do you get? Do you just get the salted ones? I get smoke, just smokehouse flavor almonds. It's one of like the, it's just a smokier tasting salted almond.

Yeah, there's a barbecue one. And there's a wasabi. Habanero barbecue? Habanero barbecue. That one's good. And the wasabi one, I actually like too. I've never even seen that in stores. I'll have to try it.

Yeah, they're really, I mean, if you like wasabi, like, you know, I actually like too. I've never even seen that in stores. I'll have to try it. Yeah, they're really – I mean if you like wasabi, like if you like sushi. I bought no salt almonds once. Oh, God. I like almonds and then I got home and I had a couple and I'm like, you know what? I don't like almonds. You know what I did with my no salt almonds? This is a true story. About two months ago, I bought a big bag of no salt almonds.

The squirrels got them. The squirrels got them squirrels got them like i literally like reached in and grabbed like two popped them and went oh why is my mouth so all right well squirrels gonna have a good day i'm just literally throwing fistfuls of this eight dollar bag of almonds out to the the fucking wildlife no salt makes it drier drier exactly it makes no sense the salt should the salt makes you salivate which makes them make your mouth less dry i think that's almonds almonds yeah yeah almonds the only really good unsalted nuts is cashews and even then you want to salt them first of all they should all be salted i'm right i mean i mean to say you're

right about that but i'm a good almond when you bite it is almost like liquid on the inside. There's a little bit of juice coming out. Almonds shouldn't be like Gushers. Gushers is an exaggeration, but a high quality. Look, there are a few listeners out there who's like, Woody's right. I want an almond milk cum shot every time I bite into one of these. You mean when you bite into it and it's almost buttery. Yeah, sure.

It's like smooth. I'm on board. Cashew has the best nut texture. Do you guys like boiled peanuts? I know that's really a southern thing. I love boiled peanuts. I thought you would. I don't think I've had them. They have them a lot at gas stations and stuff like that. They take the whole

peanut shell and all, and they boil them in a saltwater brine. Sometimes they'll put like cajun seasoning and stuff in there too and then they it's like it's like this big gigantic vessel of boiling peanuts and then they sort of ladle them into like a styrofoam cup at gas stations and they're so they're like super soft they're like there's no more crunch to your peanut but you know you peel open the shell and it's like eating peas did you know that this was unrelated colorado you're thinking of moving to colorado at some point are things far away like do you have to go 40 minutes to find a home depot from like

depends where you live you know just like everywhere else like there are parts of colorado like um me and chiz and uh kitty and her boyfriend and my girlfriend all went to this um uh cabin out kind of in the middle of nowhere one time in colorado a couple hours south of um denver actually maybe only like about an hour from telluride i think we were so it's southern colorado and we were kind of out in the middle of nowhere i mean the roads were paved don't like misunderstand but like i don't know where fucking home depot was it was i'll say that like probably 45 minutes or an hour away but you know like this depends where you live just like anything else i mean when we stay in denver or just outside denver it's a major city

you know you have a town picked out or are you open to lots of them? I'm open to lots of them. I'll pull up the whole state and look for something I like as far as a house and property and then go from there. I'll probably pick 10 different locations.

If you had a view, that seems super cool to me. I don't know. I'm guessing both a view combined with um like convenience around a home depot and a cvs and stuff being not so far if you combine those it gets wicked expensive like i if um my my priorities are um like the basics nearby within 30 minutes i wouldn't mind driving 30 minutes to get to a like convenience store or a Walmart or a grocery store. I wouldn't mind that.

Um, but I have to have good internet obviously. So I would want, uh, good internet is the, is the number one priority. Nothing else works without it. Uh,

but then after that, you know, things like a view, I really want a log cabin. Ideally. Like I like the, I like the look of that. I would like to not have

fucking neighbors but it's not a big lodge vibe yeah yeah i've stayed in a couple places like that and i really like that look i like the live edge logs and stuff and the uh you know i like not having plaster or sheetrock on the inside just having but you like the place we stayed in um was that north carolina or georgia where the heck we stay for the white tennessee man that sounds right yeah kind of like that but bigger um one like that you can build for like seventy thousand dollars like they're so cheap to build um that place did not have internet if i recall that and like you said that's a big deal you know they maybe it's gotten better like it so that here's here's the thing for people that don't know back when it was phone lines you really needed to be near i forget what it's called like the pots or something but like you can only run

a phone line so far before your internet speed dropped a ton and then it went to cable lines you can run a cable line a coax cable much farther, like half a mile or something before the signal gets kind of shitty. All right. You know, half a mile is still a bit of a problem though. If you're talking about moving to the side of a mountain, when you switch to fiber optic, then it goes really far. I don't even know how far it takes a fiber optic signal to degrade, but we're talking about like, don't know hundreds of miles or something or undersea crossings like like you know really far and uh so as people stop running stupid twisted pair cable lines underground and start running fiber optic then everybody gets

good internet or far away yeah yeah um i i guess my ideal situation is to be like two hours at the most like like two hours or closer to uh the airport uh that would be pretty nice uh because i'm gonna want to you know i'm gonna have people coming in and i'm gonna be going out occasionally um and i'd like to be kind of in the country rather than the city but i'm not those things aren't big deals. Really. It's the internet. And,

uh, and that's about it. And the log cabin thing. You should stick with that. I am into that. Yeah. Yeah. Good.

You need to go with a log cabin aesthetic. Like you need a bear rug. I would love if you would go online and either make for yourself or purchase fake skiing medals that you've won before the pass and have a whole mantle piece and you could even you can go to fucking you know uh play it against sports and buy some uh alcoholics uh old stuff that he sold you know animals head should be on the wall i mean i'm really stuck you think deer but no no what about moose what about bear oh there will be many

animals heads on the wall that's part of this he's gonna have i own a few heads already perfect yeah yeah that's your head of the game i am ahead of the game um yeah i'm gonna get with your head i'm gonna do some bow hunting uh i'm gonna do some bow hunting as soon as i'm allowed to own a bow again uh so so maybe i'll kill some things and oh my stream was asking about that oh oh oh here's here was their idea fps russia returns with bows explosive bows and i was like i don't know if you can but if you can i love it you know you could rate a whole new youtube genre oh my friends unfortunately we are now limited in our content uh tune in next time for

kind of explosive blowgun. Do you hear those snappers on the ground? Oh! I got a little strangle! Now watch. You may not be able to see explosion. That is because it's methane gas. I got a little shrapnel now watch you may not be able to see explosion that is because

it's methane gas it's because it's daytime yeah the um if I were going to do something like that I'm not the trick would be air guns because like you might think BB guns at Walmart but they make these outrageous

air rifles that shoot like a thousand feet per second and shoot high caliber projectiles. So you can shoot like 50 caliber, 45 caliber projectiles at firearm speeds out of these ridiculous air rifles. And you can even get these air rifles that shoot arrows. And those are even more outrageous like that's awesome i i was at a gun show one time or actually a machine gun shoot and this guy had this it was like an over and under shotgun you know it breaks down in the middle and instead of putting shells

in it you put arrows in it and this thing would shoot a fucking arrow like 900 feet per second which would it go i don't know i don't know how far it could go but like it so like a standard like compound bow like a good compound bow is shooting like 300 feet per second i don't at least last time i was shooting them maybe up to 330 now and that's what like a 65 70 pound draw but this thing with compressed air out of this shotgun and it's not a shotgun it's an air gun that looks like a shotgun is shooting these fucking bolts these arrows like 950 feet per second i would guess it would shoot several hundred yards like several hundred

like three four hundred yards that's at least is that technically bow hunting still or no no there's real specific laws about what you can shoot deer. So this was a shotgun shell that you could put an arrow in the front? No, it was compressed air. But the form factor was that of a over and under shotgun. I did a video once years ago. And basically I took a big knife. I cut apart a shotgun shell and showed people how it worked.

Because they're Call of Duty players. They have an an interesting gun but maybe not much knowledge about it it's like here's what a shell is actually like and here's what's inside it and this is the gunpowder this thing is what makes it go you can do this and i disassemble it and like that with this part of it this is the wadding you can put anything you want in here you could grind up some utensils in your blender and shoot those you can put an arrow and uh cnn got mad and ran a story about me and it was like the fuck i finally get attention and i didn't get any new subs fake news from start to finish you were teaching self-protection exactly how to shoot i've done that yeah i've done exactly what you're talking about because you know we we always loaded our own shotgun shells. So we put all kind of things in there. We would put, I don't know, there's a plant in the south called poke salad, which is like this weed that some poor people eat.

But it makes these little berries that are like bright purple. We'd load shotgun shells up with those and shoot each other with them. Yeah. So the wadding, that's what it's called, right? The little plastic tray in there wadding packing yeah okay how far does that have to go before it stops really hurting people shit i don't know it goes pretty fucking far um it goes like well i guess 15 20 yards i was gonna and then it really starts like fluttering off because the way it's shaped

it's literally shaped like my hand is right now like like this sort of like you're about to fist someone and for those who are audio only imagine that someone's fisting someone and they're making they're going to the classic fisting oh i've been doing it wrong all this time i've just been just giving her the old one too man she hates it um you know it the the waddings are shaped like this it's this little cup that the shot sits in and it's made so that when it comes out these flaps that my fingers are representing catch the wind and they just go and then they get so much drag catches it that it falls away and the shot continues uh you know out in a nice little grouping. But we'd shoot each other with those, you know, for the hell of it. Like paintball, but with real guns.

Yeah, we didn't shoot anyone at all in New Jersey. I doubt that. I've seen the news. You're right. Well, we did the knives, of course. Now, I'm trying to show a picture of, like, the inside of a shotgun shell to everyone, but I'm not finding what I want. I tried. Viewers? You viewers even the old college try yeah like the topic shifting i can help probably uh what's cool is that they make shotgun shells that are clear so instead of being

so chat i call everyone chat now uh if you're watching this uh here's like the gunpowder this is what propels it this c thing i think that's what i'm calling the wadding it's like a bit of a plastic tray and then these bb's in front are the shot so what happens is you can sort of take the end off remove these bb's and put anything you want in there that's kind of what the video showed and this i was asking kyle it's labeled c in the picture uh like how far does that go and still hurt you 15 20 yards ish here's i don't know what you're showing them but this is a pretty informative image ah yeah that's in the same it is helpful last but hopefully this works yeah i loaded, when I was

five years old, or four years old, I was loading shotgun shells with my dad. We were always working with this stuff. I think I... But yeah, you can put other stuff in there. It can be dangerous, though, obviously.

It's controlled explosion. You can blow a shotgun. I've seen shotguns blow up. I don't understand how shooting in water works, right? Like, if I understand it right, I could take a Glock, completely submerge it, get everything all wet, and it would shoot underwater. And it wouldn't go very far, it wouldn't like explode on the other hand if i took a shotgun put the business end in the water and shot it it would elmer fudd like explode on the end yep and i'm like i don't know why so so it's because you have a large volume of air within the shotgun barrel for one thing, and you have a much larger volume of gas that's being created by a shotgun shell versus a pistol bullet. And also with the Glock barrel, the shotgun barrel is very thin gauge metal.

It's prone to a banana peeling apart. But with the Glock, you have the opposite of each of those factors. You have a thick, heavy barrel. You have the pistol usually just completely submerged in the water. So there's no air. It's just water. And you have a pistol bullet, usually nine millimeter, that's not creating nearly as much gas.

But yeah, i've shot my glock just put the whole glock under the water pull it out shake it off and it's fine you don't even i've heard people be like yeah you need the the glock with um there's a special part that's meant for underwater shooting uh i can't remember what it's called a cup seal or something like that you kill someone underwater and six inches it's really it's shorter than you look so it's really not helpful six inches might be i so they did a um the bullet just goes myth busters on this and uh nine millimeter in particular i think went nearly the farthest but nearly the farthest was like two or three feet uh 50 cal which you might think like is a real rocker only went a few inches yeah the more

velocity the uh the worse for traveling underwater because it's going to peel itself apart maybe it was a 45 that did really well but but i think it was a nine millimeter full metal jacket that did the best the way i remember the Mythbusters thing going. But they don't go far at all. They don't go far at all. Oh, and by the way, if it goes three feet, the last foot is like you could catch it with your hand and see it. Like it's not going fast. Yeah, all you have to do is look at the density of water compared to that of air.

And you quickly realize why this is so. They do, however, Taylor, make weapons that are meant to be fired underwater. And they're not firearms. There's this Russian weapon that fires these metal darts using firearm cartridges. It's a gun, but it's shooting

a long metal dart, which is very good at cutting through the water. And those are terrifying. It's got this magazine that comes out the bottom and rolls across. I'll see if'll see if i find a picture of it they're nutty yeah i just watched a clip of the slow-mo guys shooting up i think it's a nine under underwater and yeah you're right within like a foot of it coming out of the barrel it's like topsy-turvy flipping on itself clearly slowing down yeah i didn't understand you know how they say like hey you jump out of a plane the water might as well be concrete and i'm like why like i don't get it but now i do

and the deal is water doesn't compress it needs to move out of the way it only moves out of the way so quickly and that's why it's such a problem to hit it so fast yeah specifically with that it's the surface tension that you're that you're breaking by the time this like little nine bullet is five feet away from the gun it's just it's like sinking like you dropped a rock yeah so this is that uh that russian underwater weapon i was talking about and just to the left of the bullet the magazine is the the the round uh the the cartridge um the part housing the powder i would assume is the back part of it and then the rest of it is the projectile you can pretty nutty if you look really carefully there's kind of a vertical line

just past where the i think you're right i think it shoots off from this part yeah super cool i would imagine that they had like some sort of fucking scuba diving commandos rocking these i wonder how far they work too like oh we go from one foot to 20 20 would be huge though if the other guys had a knife which would be the scenario that's a thing in rust uh i know i keep going back to Rust, but I'm obsessed with it right now. But like, you have to know so many like nitty gritty details. So like if you ever get in a fight and you're both in the water, guns don't work anymore. So you've got to have a melee weapon.

So there are these underwater melee fights because that's the only way to do it. And it's fucking hilarious. There's a new way to build bases underwater. I think we're going to do that. This wipe. Have a fucking hidden base on the bottom of the ocean with our goodies hidden under them so people can't take them from us anymore. That's cool. I streamed Tarkov the other night and it went poorly and hurt my feelings.

Yeah, I just had a... Part of it is this when I stream and let's say I see three guys, I feel almost obligated to give it a go. You know, there's a one in 15 chance that I can take out all three. If I get the jump on them, you know, maybe I take the first one out and now it's just a two V one, right? Sometimes you win those. But, uh, if if i was solo i'd probably be like oh three of them nah you know i'm just gonna keep all my stuff and they're just about you know they were like woody someone donated three dollars for me to like stop playing smart and just john wick run around woods with a pistol if you know this game that's a low survival rate type move it's a no survival yeah so i was like oh fuck it i'll do it

you know like i'm pretty rich in that game now so i can die and not care too much but by the end of the night it was like man i feel like i died more than i lived yeah but yeah i think i want a bow i want a bow as soon as i can have one and i want to do some bow so what happened is what things will you no longer be restricted about when probation ends? Alcohol. Okay. Travel. Pot.

Ish. Well, you know, yeah. And the right municipality. Right. And yeah, weapons that aren't firearms,

all the weapons that are not firearms, I would imagine, you know, I could, I could have pepper spray again it'd be real dangerous um pepper spray is good yeah so uh but i really want to bow i really want to bow so i can bow hunt okay and target shoot i like doing that that'll be fun colorado is a good place for that too like if you're going to be that far away from denver

like any kind of big city there's gonna be a lot of fun outdoorsy stuff to do i know you don't like skiing but you like all that other shit yeah maybe i'll get a sled dog you're gonna can you do it with one wow i think you kind of need to go you need to jump in with both feet well i'll get a sled team a dozen i'll get a dozen huskies right away, of course, before I even learn how to do it. That sounds like a good idea. You're pulling up to the southwest gate to pick up some bitch you're bringing back to fuck.

Hang on! It's a four-night ride back to the cabin! If I fall off, jump with me, because those dogs do not like you. I haven't got a chance to train them. Tap a stance.

We ended up here. I was thinking about getting a pet the other day, but I was looking at ferrets. God, those things live for so much longer than you think they do. Like five to eight years or something like that. Yeah, it's a long time for a long rat. They call them cat snakes on the internet. And I don't know. It looked kind of fun.

But I know this girl, and I remember that she used to have them. And so I texted her. I was like, hey, you had ferrets at one time. I remember some pictures of you with ferrets. What are they like? She's like, oh, they're fucking insane. You don't want a ferret. I was like, nah like nah it sounds fun i'll build a bunch of tubes in my house and they can just do that thing where they worm around in them and i can laugh and make

make fucking instagram videos it'll be great she's like they also smell and i was just like that's kind of a deal breaker i don't want a smelly snake cat. Cats, I sometimes think about a cat. Their poop is not as good as dog poop, but their urine is especially pungent, rancid, terrible. I'm like, cat waste is the worst. Some friends of mine spent, because they hated so they have two cats and they hated so much like that little smell and like the first time i went over to their house like it was the first time ever i was like oh my god like you guys actually have cats and usually i'm lying

when i say this but i wouldn't guess you had cats if i walked in here part of it maybe because he smokes a ton of pot and that was covering the smell but the other thing they spent like i think a couple grand or like at least a grand on the most high-tech kitty litter box i've ever seen it's like the size of a chest you would keep at the bottom of your bed it looks all fancy like they go in there take their shit take their piss it self-cleans and it like self decontaminates like it sprays special enzyme eating stuff from the inside like rains it on after it senses they've left. And like you, it was outrageous. I don't remember all the details, but it was like, yeah,

if you own a cat, you should have, you should be required to have one of these. We have three cats that we see outside. So I've claimed them as our outdoor cats. We don't feed them or anything, but they take care of problems for you. Yeah, we see them in the yard. They work better hungry.

Yeah, I mean, they're always on our property. I go out, I've been walking every night because it's good for my back, and I walk around with a flashlight, and there they are with their bright, shiny eyes looking at me. There's cats in the yard. Plotting. Could be. I found a couple little mouse droppings in my garage,

and I was like, this isn't gonna fucking fly so i went and bought some sticky traps and some little mint pouches and things well the sticky traps are more for the the brown recluse in there but i got those in there as well and then i put some some mouse traps out i i i want i don't want to harm them i want them to go away so i like bought this like spray that they're supposed to just hate and they'll just leave on their own volition i put that they don't give a fuck they don't care about that one bit. They're living in squalor. And I was going out checking the traps. No mice. Nothing

in there. Just bugs in the sticky traps. But in one of the sticky traps, it had moved a good bit and I forgot to change or to close my garage door last night and all that there was on the sticky trap was a bird's head. Oh, God. It was just a bird's head. Oh, God.

It was just a bird's head. A bird's head and then what remained of like a little bird skeleton. And so clearly a bird flew in there to eat bugs and then some raccoon ate it in the middle of the night. And I was like, I feel so bad for that bird. Sticky traps are the least humane thing you could possibly use. Poison makes them bleed internally

until they die. It sucks. We use the spring-loaded traps. Spring-loaded traps are the way to go. They just fucking die. Or the electric traps, the ones that electrocute them because those are fun, right?

And if you really want to have a good time, you could rig your own up. We did that once. That was awesome. It was AC powered, 120 volt rat trap. He walks in there and he connects to the circuit. No three phase on this rat trap. We had plans to do that, but it kept like setting the whole thing on fire.

Like when we took the arc welder and we were able to like hot wire it into one of the traps, but whenever we would stick something in there to connect the circuit, the whole thing would start smoking and then burst into flames. And we couldn't have that. But the way it worked is when he walked in there, he connected these two metal points trying to get to the food. You got food at one end, two points, positive, negative. And when he walks through, he closes the circuit.

And it's just, just really it just goes pop and he's just fucking dead and that's the most humane way to do it but also I feel like a lot of mice aren't gonna yeah they're dead like instantly right yeah they were the spring loaded traps are have you used a spring loaded trap it sounds like

maybe you haven't I've set them up nothing's nothing's been caught yet all right so we use a spring loadedloaded trap? It sounds like maybe you haven't. I've set them up. Nothing's been caught yet. All right, so we use a spring-loaded. We bait it with peanut butter, and it's super effective. We just see them the next morning. And what happens is they don't stand on the trap, like if you don't know any better.

Like I pictured them standing on all the contraption. No, no, no, no. They go up, they put their head on where the food is, and then the spring comes, and it crushes their skull, and they're dead in an instant. Yeah, well, the internet said peanut butter was the ultimate way to go with that. And so far, no dice.

I'm going to have to reapply peanut butter. You've got to really get it mushed in there so they have a hard time getting it all out. And also, there's a there's a trick to like loading them you don't just like push the uh so there's that little arm that goes over and holds the spring part down you don't just push it in all the way you want to make it a hair trigger you want to just barely latch it because the thing that's setting it off is this little one ounce mouse right so like yeah he's able he's able to get in there and get all the –

I need to go check that then because I bet that's what I did wrong. I bet I like handedly secured it too much because it was just a cheap little thing I got at Home Depot, like just little Vector or Victor, whatever the brand is, like just basic bitch stuff. It's like eight for two bucks. Kitty was hearing footsteps in her attic. It's spooky.

Yeah, right? She's like, I think there's a possum up there. I'm like, there's definitely not a possum up there. You've probably got rats. And so I bought some big rat traps off of Amazon, like bigger than your phone, like the big ones. And I would have to go up there every day and check them so that rats wouldn't

rot in their fucking attic but i i guess we got three or four rats like like decent sized rats out of there they were not mice damn but then growing up you know my dad's farm like there were rats everywhere we would have rat hunts we they would uh they would they would make these burrows under concrete pads um you know, be a big square chunk of concrete, like really big, like twice as big as a car. And they would burrow all up under it with this network of tunnels. And you could see the entrances all around the concrete. So we would block off like all of them, but two of the holes, one entrance, one exit. And then we would take a big pipe and connect it to the exhaust of a truck. And we'd run that carbon monoxide down into one of the holes. And then

we'd wait at the other one with a gun. And like, it'd take a while because they don't want to come out. And I'm sure they tried the other exits that we'd blocked off by just stomping on them and pushing dirt into them. Finally, they start coming out and they're just staggering drunk they're just like the fuck did you do to us like almost dead already and so you could just shoot them with a pistol as they came out oh what a isn't that how we got the japanese out on iwo jima or something god damn right it is yeah this is we call this the yeah the iwo jima approach that's that's pretty cool i i need to try that maybe i'll get a friend or i'll just hook up my own thing yeah fill your garage with carbon monoxide that's a good idea

no no for my mole problem not for the mouth problem your moles oh i envy your mole problem that'd be so much fun to fix that come over when you can and do it because i like i i did i didn't want to like kill him and so i bought the like sonic spikes that goes and literally love that that at first they hated it because i could see every day when i go out this was like a year ago when i first bought them and my yard was torn to shit like there was more mole holes that and then regular yard and i like could see like a like tide going out every day i'd come out to let my dogs out like oh they've turned back they're retreating back into the woods into my neighbor's yards everything was hunky-dory for a couple months then it turns out they stopped giving a fuck about those little things and they come back

and so what i'm doing now is taking just pellet poison digging out the little area so you can put it in there and then just drop poison pellets in and then give me what's your idea kyle depends if you want to be effective or fun i you know what let's have fun with it yeah do you have do you have access to a settling gas i can find it this is how you nearly lost a hand that is both things you just said are true i remember those slow learning things because of exposure to a settling gas if you had some a settling gas what i would do is pump acetylene gas into the holes and then

ignite it from afar you don't want to be anywhere near it actually this is going to blow your yard up this is going to blow your whole yard and i got neighbors what about that um well they can come too you know the expanding foam if you were having a gopher burn you guys want to come over if you own a house maybe you've like patched little insulation holes with the expanding foam right this is a thing like big stuff or big fill whatever it is yeah what you buy what is it called great stuff okay maybe i'm not sure and uh um anyway you can buy the raw ingredients to that i see people do it on the internet where they like pour in the liquid and then dump in the powder they're like little white

pellets and uh then it just fills the mole hole in a really big way and you can picture it in your head just like zooming out it spouts out like a giant volcano and in the part that you it's both fun and i think it kind of like fills the holes with something they don't want it's called great stuff there's gotta be foam ceiling it's you know you wouldn't that's not ideal either that's gonna make a mess but i don't know how the mess does in nature right like i in my mind foam breaks down in dirt in like six months but i don't know i don't know what you know maybe it's in the plastic family and it lasts for 10 000 years because like what i have done is

like ran over a can of that shit with a lawnmower before on purpose of course you know and uh and so then it like hardens up on the ground so then like every week when you when i would cut the grass i'd run back over it and it just wouldn't go away it would just make smaller and smaller pieces it was like running over a styrofoam box that just wouldn't wash away this stuff looks like so much fun i want to i don't i don't know what projects i have but i'll find use for this yeah it's great it's super it's super good for all sorts of utilitarian stuff like like filling rat holes and walls and like farm uh and farms it's really good at that insulate i mean it's it's a good insulation but i don't know i would gas them i think that would

be fun like maybe you get like a pellet pistol or a pellet rifle and do what i said just running carbon monoxide down in there like you you could if you i don't i don't think you got a lawnmower but if you can like get your car back there and run some hosing from the exhaust down in there they hate that i got a lawnmower. That's what they supposedly used at some of the Nazi concentration camps. So what – so it seems like this is going to blow – okay, the acetylene thing will absolutely blow my yard off. Yeah, don't do that. I know. I wouldn't do that.

I heard you. But carbon monoxide is not flammable. It's the opposite. It's burnt fumes you know from from a from a gasoline engine and it will just fuck them up and they'll come staggering out and then you can sort of kill them at your leisure or capture them you could catch them and like like maybe take a few prisoner at least like a neighbor's yard that i don't like maybe you could build like a whole guillotine out there and have like a public execution to like make the others watch what happens if they come around there or display of the bodies.

Like what if you made a bunch of scarecrows, but it was just like gophers all crucified. My HOA comes up. You can't have dozens of crucified moles on your property. This is America. I paid my dues. And this is religious freedom. This is just freedom. This is not religious freedom. Well, then explain the ones that are hanging from the garage.

Oh, no, don't do that. That helps me out. When I'm pulling in, I want to know exactly where to stop when I hit the mole. When I hit the mole, I know to stop. It doesn't have enough body weight to die from hanging, so it's just wiggle worm in his way around.

Remember that scene in the game of thrones where like they crucified like a slave every mile all the way to the city like that do that with the mold maybe a slave owner right well that's how denarius responded was by crucifying all the slave owners okay okay because they had done that to all those children just a just a social experiment how long do you think i could get away with it if i started nailing dead mole carcasses to my fence posts in a way that my neighbors could see i i wonder honestly because if my neighbor started nailing dead animals to his fence immediately, my first thought would not be to approach him. I wouldn't want to.

And I would also be like, if I call the authorities or I call someone about this, he's going to know that the, the moles are presented to me. Is he, is he threatening me? I'm just going to let him, I'm going to go,

I'm going to, I'm going to wait on this. You know, I could get a few days away. I get away with a few days. I would, I would call the HOA immediately as soon as I saw. The first nail go in. It would wake me up, of course.

I'd hear, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc. Were they roofing over there? And I like peer through the blinds, bleary eyed and see a man crucifying a struggling mole. Cause I, in my scenario, they're alive when you do it. Oh yeah. Well,

and I just like from the window, I hear you go, what the fuck? Look around night vision goggles on. I can see you now. I know. Hi, this is Kyle.

Yeah. Unit 74. Yeah. Brooke street. Um, my neighbor, Roger, he's,

uh, he's crucifying moles next door and yeah crucifying yeah like in the bible and i gotta say the weirdest part he's dressed like a roman soldier and i'm really thrown off right now is Oh, there's no rule against it. So this is like an air bud scenario. Well, shit. And another really troubling thing. Between you and me, this is not the first time he's crucified something.

He's very quick. He seems to have a crucifixion kit, as it were. That is not like a claw hammer he's using. It looks medieval. That would be... That's my next approach. Crucify onto my fence posts and scare the others. Yeah, moles fucking suck.

I've never seen a mole. We don't have them in the South. Oh, that stinks. Yeah, moles, voles, they just ruin your foals. We have prairie dogs. I think they're cooler. They're just cuter. Prairie dogs have a whole language.

They're very intelligent. They come out now, and voles are blind and just stay underground all the time. Aww. Some of the moles have, like, or maybe it's voles I'm thinking of, that, like, starfish fucked up nose. Oh, yeah, that's gross. Yeah, that is gross. Those things deserve to die.

Yeah, anything with a face like that. yeah we have the uh the prairie dogs here um they also explode really well when you shoot them they do i remember when i lived in idaho they had whistle pigs which are like smaller prairie dogs and you would just go out to some farmer's pasture who had a bunch of cattle and he would just let people hang out there all day because they dig holes that then the cattle when they're grazing would step in and fuck them up and so you could just wait for him pop up and then once you do get him it's like just a when you hit him it's just a wet slap of like the round hitting them and then if you shoot him with anything bigger than the 22 like even a 223 they just just vaporize. Just gone. And then if you shoot them with a.22 and they die, I don't know if prairie dogs are like

this, but the whistle pigs are so gross. If there's one laying there for a while and they're really hungry, the other ones will poke their heads out and then run over and start eating the one that you shot. And then you can shoot the one that they're eating. They're very, very gross animals. And they're poor strategically as well.

Yeah, they really should know when ted got shot that weird bipedal ape up there with his boomstick he's still there yeah yeah if i see a dead body in tarkov i'm like this might be a bad spot boys so they they do know that but that you know that's why you have to shoot him from a long distance because prairie dogs have a word for people and they have a different word for people with gun. It doesn't surprise me. They wouldn't have survived long if they didn't figure out a little bit of communication there. There are some, if anyone cares,

if you just search prairie dog shooting montage on YouTube, there's some people doing some 360 no scope type shit on there. People using completely inappropriate guns. You don't need a.50 cal to kill

a prairie dog, but what they turn into is this red mist where it's insanity. Prairie dog eradication montage. Yeah, I was just watching that one. And they'll use really high velocity.22 caliber stuff. Like.22-250 is a great cartridge for this.

It's.22 caliber bullet, 55 to 70 grains, I believe. Can most guys shoot it? What's that? You could regulate it. What is the common one? Is it.10-22, the Remington? Oh, no. .22-250 is a rifle cartridge.

It's a Ruger.10-22, right? It's like – I'll show you a picture of it. No. You need a special.22 to shoot it. It's a Ruger 10-22, right? It's like – I'll show you a picture of it. No. You need a special.22 to shoot. It's a whole different caliber. Okay. Just like there are many.30 caliber rifles, everything from a 7-millimeter Magnum to a.308 to.30-06. All those are.30 caliber, but completely different calibers, completely different rifle systems, all that.

I'll show you a picture of a 22 250 in my head i thought it was like uh you know there's a nine millimeter then maybe nine millimeter p there's definitely nine millimeter p plus i thought it was just like oh they crammed some more powder in there that's essentially what they did but to get the more powder they had a whole new cartridge. Yeah. So itty-bitty projectile, tons of gunpowder behind it. Oh, wow. Look at that guy. So we would hand load these cartridges until they were going nearly 4,000 feet per second, which at some point hollow points come apart from air.

They can't handle the air pressure on the nose of the bullet they'll just disintegrate midair if you get them going fast enough uh and the result is a very accurate um fun to shoot cheap to shoot gun that shoots really flat because of the velocity uh so dude this is a great corner of youtube just all these videos. Prairie dog massacre. Flying prairie dogs. Vaporized prairie dogs. Like they... For people watching the video right now, all of this holds gunpowder

and just this little tip is the bullet itself. This is all propellant. And that ratio is extreme. That's what I was getting at. It's a real fun cartridge to shoot. It's a real fun cartridge to shoot. it's a real fun cartridge to shoot uh the um and an ar-15 would work really good just 5.56 223 that would be a perfect caliber a very good caliber for uh for prairie dogs anything like that but you want something high velocity

that's accurate just a regular 22 long rifle isn't ideal if you're shooting at any kind of serious range yeah i was gonna you wanted to shoot pretty flat to make it easy yep yep yep high velocity look at the editing on these i don't have i don't think we can show prairie dog explosions that's oh okay well they did yeah this is actually the one i was watching they're all like this this guy has a drone age restricted on this very video you're showing me is a problem okay this one's called prairie dog hunting this one's called prairie dog hunting armageddon with slow motion explosions uh looks like he's got a savage uh a savage rifle there yeah he does or she does yeah um he he gets a triple kill here, like a triple collateral at one point.

Wow. That's impressive. It is. That's an achievement. These prairie dogs are not exploding in the way that I've seen before. Maybe I'm used to 50 cows. Small caliber that he's got here. I don't know what he's shooting, but I would guess that might be a fucking 22.

I can't tell what that is. Ooh, the guy at 140. He gets – the editing is hilarious. I don't know where you should be aiming. Anyway, anyway, we're just watching people kill prairie dogs. Let me real quick tell you guys all about GOAT.com. If you're buying sneakers online, there's a good chance the shoe that you're looking at is fake. How can you be sure if it's real? Well, GOAT.com is the safest way to buy and sell buying sneakers online, there's a good chance the shoe that you're looking at is fake. How can you be sure if it's real?

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yeah oh yeah i see uh would you rather date a furry or someone with a diaper fetish? Furry. Furry, yeah. Diapers are just... No, when you smell a diaper, you think of babies. There's a smell to a diaper, and it's gross. You don't want to... And it's just you think of poop and pee. That's my thing.

I don't have a scat fetish at all. That's not my cup of tea. From Volpe, objectively. If Filthy were were here he would say don't kink shame and i tell him i don't need to this is another one of those things i don't need to study to tell me what's normal i don't need to i don't need to survey i need scientists to make some shit up no you shouldn't be eating poop you shouldn't be playing around in poop that's why there's so many diseases in poop it's not it's not healthy you know like if my fetish was finding strange needles

on muscle beach and poking them into myself people would rightly say that's that's weird and you should quit so i don't know muscle beach those needles might get you jacked they might well bad example okay we'll go a different a beach with like uh heroin needles whatever that is probably Ah, that gets you high. Yeah, but not in a good way. Would you date a girl with an OnlyFans service? That one catches my attention. Would it be a showstopper if she had an OnlyFan?

Yeah, absolutely. What if she previously had an OnlyFan? Then I probably... Is she forever tainted or... Not tainted. I just wouldn't be interested. Oh, so not tainted, i just not tainted i just wouldn't be interested oh so not tainted but you know just dirty in a way that would make her on a on a unacceptable to me i i wouldn't want videos of the girl i'm with of like fucking herself or fucking on the internet like that seems pretty normal to me you know i'm torn right like i i think i saw on the internet not too long ago that uh like horror seven is hotter than a 10 that just does missionary

and i thought yeah yeah that's true um that's true but you can be you can be fun in the bedroom without without being public of your pussy for for lunch money or whatever but you can also make the mistake of dating a 10 that only does missionary and then wondering why your like sex life sucks fair enough that that's totally fair but like the the only vans thing like yeah i if i liked him a lot it might not i don't know, though. Yeah. What you really want. I get one bit.

Is this is out of date, but like, you know, a Nancy Reagan in public and a Sasha Gray at home. Right. That's what you're looking for. I think I speak for. That's not just me. Right. But the question was, would you date a girl with an only fan service? And we also made it past tense to see if that changed the answer. Yeah, I don't care.

You wouldn't care. I want to go on the other one. Oh, go ahead. Mike's girlfriend just started one. Well, X. Yeah. For now. For now.

For now. I wanted to get his take on the other one, though. The furry or diaper oh oh furry furry yes diaper no yeah we're the same thing is it because of the scat play being not cool it's because of the whole thing i don't want the like the everything involved so all right i won't talk about okay um i think that the diaper thing is super fucking weird and i'm open to like 95 percent of fetishes i would say uh like whatever you're into i'm i'm down with i can join in too even if it's not my thing that's what he likes to say uh not everything you do in the bedroom

is going to be your favorite thing that's right and um and but but no not the diaper thing i don't want any i don't want you peeing yourself or pooping yourself i don't want to be changing your diaper which is a lot what a lot of those people are into usually it's men who like to wear the diapers and have them changed by women they want to do this like baby goo goo gaga shitty diapers because that's yeah some of them i would know you know? Let's not give them the benefit of the doubt. It's awful. Yeah. I remember Stern did a whole... They went to the adult baby convention.

And this guy's talking in the Goo Goo Gaga talk about how he made a big boom boom in his diapy. And he needs it changed and all this stuff. And it's gay guys and straight guys. It's not just a straight fetish it's it's just a fetish and i don't i'm not into that and i wouldn't want to participate in that but the furry thing look it'd be a little creepy because those things have dead eyes you know those those things they were that part's a little creepy to me but that's the creepiest part like like just looking at the face of the thing but you know i don't want to pretend to fuck an animal though like it you can't even see tits and stuff it's more of like an animal human hybrid that is

the way i'm looking at it and i will fuck that and uh the furry thing is not a showstopper for me if that's your thing and i don't want it to be every time, right? You know, like this is a special occasion. This is a Saturday night kind of situation. Yeah, right? We've got time to burn. It's a special night. But, you know, whatever.

If that's your version of a special event, fuck, I'll get down. The diaper thing for me i think i have maybe experience you guys don't in caring for someone in their dying days that's what diapers are in my head and uh it couldn't be less hot yeah pooping when you're dying pooping when you're little no neither one and you know like kyle said you it's not like okay you can wear a diaper while you blow me if you must it's like no you got to be a part of it's not like okay you can wear a diaper while you blow me if you must it's like now you got to be a part of it you got to be you got to have jj the jet plane playing on tv while it's all going or whatever little kids show is popular now that's how they are yeah

pacifiers the full the full thing you know not into that wouldn't want to be uh i'm not down for that no um slight topic change but did you see what happened to pastor anal assassin i heard his mouth is wired shut so pastor anal assassin one of our illustrious 50 patrons great guy was running you know for exercise i'm sure no one was chasing him but you never know and he tripped and fell like face first into the running board of a truck like eight shit at the running board full blast in the mouth the running board of a truck is the it's a step used to get in on the side of it yeah it doesn't give it all it's metal covered with a bit of rubber it doesn't move it's an immovable object he hit it with his mouth full speed it knocked out several of his teeth it didn't break them it knocked them full out like

root and all and um broke his lower jaw i believe so his jaw is wired shut they're having to put the teeth back in lots of cuts and stuff he's gonna be quiet this month he said he wasn't coming and i told him to come anyway yeah which i'd stand by yeah you should come man and it'd be fun if you had like like like a marker and like a like a board of like paper that you could flip over and you could write little things and hold up like like coyote roadrunner style pastel aneur assassin is already thin it's too bad he's not right it's like if you wired my mouth shut and i got a six pack out of it it's not all bad yeah then another one of our uh 50 our patrons like like the next

day put puts a picture in the in the chat and i think he fell on like a fence post or something i i was so concerned with pastor anal assassin that i didn't get the full gist of it but he has a hole in his thigh that's as big as this red bull can like the bottom of this red bull and he's like he's like he uploaded a video um we can't show the video it's so graphic and he is clearly doped up in the er and he's like playing with the hole he's like stretching it he's like stretching it and like filming the inside of this hole that's in his leg and i promise you listeners where would you put this on his leg like if quad yeah like right let me let me see if i can find it for for you guys and then maybe you'll think

that like this is something we could show i don't know if it's what you're describing there's no fucking way we can show this yeah but you should see it you should just be aware that because it's nutty what did this this is tiger's fan uh 202 i don't know his real name okay um but i'm gonna try to find the video of yep here it is i guess i'm gonna download this you got good internet and you're gonna want that on your computer forever and ever so you can come back in and enjoy this moment the fbi should know what you like so what was the story he fell on a fence post and it somehow cored it out like a soil sample oh it's so much grosser than i described i'm gonna hang on i'm gonna i'm literally uploading the video to you guys that's a bummer it seems like it's dangerous to be a $50 patreon

but it's not is what the next sentence is just imagine what would have happened if he hadn't he'd have never survived without the life skills that he learned right here. This is the place where you learn how to gas moles. Point is, guys, there's room in the ranks. Jump in. You know? Yeah, there's the video.

Oh, shit. It is. I'm sticking with it. It's graphic with a capital G, boys. You can just see the blood pool. Oh, boy. It's just see the blood pool. It's what I said, right? A hole as big as the bottom of one of these Red Bull cans, right?

Yeah, it's football shape, but yeah, I think that you can make it happen. Oh my god! Yeah, he sewed up a Coke can in it. It's huge. Now, they sewed it up clean as a whistle he said fucking PKA in the ER I've got an open leg wound PKA oh man

see it's easy to get a shout out on the show boys just really grievously injure yourself give us $50 a month and we got you. Two simple ways. I'm going to dedicate a conspiracy theory if you die. Just saying.

If one more of those boys gets hurt, it's going to start looking bad. Maybe there's some sort of correlation. We'll just have to not talk about it anymore. We won't talk about any more serious injuries that our patrons have. Actually, another one. There was another one, but he was showing old footage of him in the ER all fucked up. And he was talking about a bunch of his face was ground off,

and he was talking about how his scar healed well. But, yeah, that guy got fucked up which which injury would you prefer this horrific leg injury or pastor anal assassin teeth knocked out i would take the leg injury every time i think the leg injury is the less severe one me too um having said that i sure would like visible abs and if the mouth wired shut i mean pastel anal anal assassins trail mix consumption has dropped down to zero but he already had a fantastic handle on his diet right right no no but the question wasn't which one would we like him to have it's which one would you take on your own yeah but the teeth problems man like those are rough and like a

totally broken right we knock out these bottom ones maybe they just put a perfect set in be like you know what i've been meaning to do that you know what if i get to choose what teeth get knocked out then then i'll do the mouth one i choose yours the rest of my real ones out and we'll go fake full fake yeah that's a whole mouth actually well actually dental insurance won't cover that and so i'd be out like what is what's a full mouth of fake teeth sixty thousand dollars something like that forty forty thousand that's a lot go to mexico things go crazy if you were to you'd have like a jaw tooth problem like that i think you're on your

major medical it's not even oh i got my bill for my cancer surgery get all right let's guess uh how much it was anesthesia the the surgery and everything no insurance you 10 000 taylor going with 10 000 yeah i'm i feel like the vibe i'm getting is it's surprisingly low but it can't be under 10 grand. So I'm going to say $1,8999. $1,200. What? Yeah. Neither of us won. No.

That's really cheap. How the hell did you get that taken care of for $1,200? Where did you go? Did you go to a vet? I knew when he gave me that dog treat afterwards. You did such a good job. Who's ready for their dentist stick? When I walked out of there with that cone on my head,

I knew I had made a decision that was when he kept calling me good boy, it felt like reverse racism, but I just liked it when those girls patted me on the head. I didn't understand. They come in after the surgery, and you're just pawing at the top of it. Kyle, no, no. I don't understand. Am I cheaper because you didn't have insurance?

I don't know. My wife had a kidney stone like a while back, call it seven years ago. And she was in a lot of pain it was a problem she went to the er as you would you know like it was a it was a acute issue and uh basically they diagnosed it they took a not an x-ray but you know some sort of scan of her belly and uh gave her a drug to make it go away a little more easily eighteen thousand dollars for her afternoon in the er it's outrageous yeah now we just we were insured so fuck best health care in the world yeah yeah it was uh it was very cheap and uh it was literally a surgery with a team

dealing with you this was a doctor who just seemed to stop by every couple of minutes wow yeah uh my daughter's awesome like like i really genuinely like this guy um and uh you know dr anesthesiologist like two nurses in the room at the time um you know i was there for hours and uh 1200 bucks not bad yeah you and it was um general anesthesia did you say yeah yes yeah the whole recovery room experience was a team there watching over you yeah the the anesthesia was like 500 i think so that's like of the 500s a good night damn right right a lot of fucking good shit for 500 i feel like you could spend half that at a bar. Oh, yeah.

That alcohol is bullshit, especially at a bar. Yeah. I watched a TV show today where the guy, he was having a really bad day, and he got the whole bottle of whiskey from a bar. What does a bar charge for a bottle of whiskey? Like $100? More. A couple hundred. More.

bottle of whiskey like a hundred more hundred more yeah when we were in new york um we ordered a table service so it came with a bottle of absolute vodka a bottle of orange juice and like a pitcher of ice and i want to say it was like 250 dollars right and that's that's a cheap ass it's absolute vodka too. Like it's like a middle level vodka. Oh, I thought that was high. Okay. Maybe it's, I'm like, yeah, absolute's really good. You can tell because they have excellent photography in their ads.

I actually, I think that the absolute ad campaign is like a feather in your cap as a photographer like if you land them and do that then you're a hot shot yeah um vodka is what i drink when i can drink and if i'm gonna drink but um but i don't like absolute vodka it's it would be my vodka choice big fan of tito's just tastes better okay i thought tito's isn't tequila what's no tito that you like um i can't think of the name of it there's uh there's two different ones it's um it's spanish obviously the name of it so it's but the bottles are beautiful it's got like this big like golden egg stopper that goes in the top. And it's got the cantilever thing where it goes up over the thing.

Alcohol comes in some pimp bottles sometimes. Crown Royal is in my head. Does that come in the velvet bag? Am I thinking of the right one? Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. They got Magic the Gathering dice in one of those bags.

Yeah. Everybody uses those for something interesting. Yeah. I have a new topic. So this article is kind of written by a hater. So it seemed to have a bias. But Dan Blazarian in some hot water? I guess he spent money.

I guess it's hard to get the truth out of this hater article, but it appears that Ignite International Limited is sort of investing in the Dan Blazarian brand. You know, he's this big Instagram influencer, and he's been masking his personal expenses as business expenses. his personal expenses as business expenses. So like the flights, the yachts, the house he stays in, everything is getting billed back to this company.

Hundreds of thousands, $200,000 a month is the rent on his place. The lease on his home is 200 grand a month and he doesn't pay it. The flights, the yachts, the boats, all this stuff. He kind of gets ignite to pay for it instead and their chief financial officer was like you know a lot of his personal expenses are being

buried and like disguised as business expenses that he charges back to us and i i did this thing in my between my own ears and i'm like yeah but if your job is being dan blazerian what's the difference between a personal expense and a business expense? Is renting a bunch of models to hang out with you? Which one is that? Right? Like if you're renting a yacht for the day and taking Instagram photos, is that a personal expense or a business expense? They're kind of blended.

But they also call him out for not owning a lot of it. Like he makes it seem like he's like this is just my life this is my boat this is my house but in reality these are all things that are rented he doesn't have the assets that he says he does which I guess is sort of normal anyway

so yeah Dan Blazarian getting called out for not paying his own bills you could argue and not owning the stuff he says he owns i don't know huh well it looks like it leads a pretty dope life so yeah i mean if you could if you have that much fun and somebody else pays for it right it's pretty sick yeah um it's pretty sick yeah um yeah i guess they're they tried to get him to reduce his expenses but he wasn't interested

in that it almost sounds like i don't want to say he's scamming the investors but like he got someone else to pay for his extravagant lifestyle. I'm not sure if someone else is going to get a profit on their money or not. But he's... Oh, no. Their annual report shows staggering losses. So... I love that. Staggering losses.

I'm just imagining someone looking at a sheet of paper and just literally staggering. They've been knocked silly by the numbers. Yeah. He may need to find another investor soon to maintain the lifestyle he has here. I don't know. And maybe they're calling out for a little bit of like deceivory. I think that he maintains he made a lot of money on poker and stuff like that. But that's not really how he's making his money. Deceivory. Yeah. Deceivory like i think that he maintains he made a lot of money on poker and stuff like that but that's not really how he's making his money deceivory yeah deceiving trickery but uh you

know i had this topic i saw it and thought it was interesting blazarian yeah yeah how did he really live this lifestyle he found an investor that thought they'd make money on it but they have staggering losses instead he's been doing it for a long time though right like has he been working these same people for like five years or something um i wonder about that i don't know it just seems seems like he's always finding some regardless of how he's doing it seems like he's living uh well most of the time kurt vonnegut has this thing like it there's the money river right there's this money river and if you're wealthy then you know where the money river is and you take your children to the river and you show them this is how you sit from the river and and some people just have a knack

for acquiring more money they just do you know like it dan blazerian found a company that wants to pay his twenty thousand dollar a month i'm sorry $20,000 a month. I'm sorry, $200,000 a month rent, right? He lives in a place so pimp. It's 200 grand a month to rent it, to rent it. Houses are 200 grand a month to buy, but he rents his for 200. Yeah. Houses are $200,000 over 30 years to buy for some people. That's what I was.

I think it's a very nice house. Yeah. Yeah. A house is 200 grand ish. over 30 years to buy for some people that's what i was i think it's a very nice house yeah yeah a house is 200 grand ish i know they can be more and less but a house is 200 grand ish in in most of the country a lot of the country this guy pays that they buy him a new house every month and it's rented it's not this isn't even a mortgage right like you'd presume that the rent is less than to buy but uh um and that's just the rent on the house. That doesn't include his four elements guns and star war set for $65,000 or the bed frame for 50 grand or the paintball field he had installed for $75,000. Oh, sick.

A vault, which I assume is a gun vault, but I'm just guessing, for $75,000. Oh, sick. A vault, which I assume is a gun vault, but I'm just guessing, for $88,000. They paid $26,000 to get more Instagram followers. Some of these expenses are pretty extreme to me. Like $75,000 paintball field? Okay. That's what they cost. You need to get the cheap shitty one for 60 now

i just like yeah it seems like you could have real cars real like new cars as like obstacles on a 75 000 paintball field but um yeah so he's living pretty pimp and uh the guy sort of rose rose tried to get attention to this in his company and said hey you know we're really spending money on a ton of like frivolous stuff this guy's just tossing it away and he got fired for raising the flag on it feels like he's a whistleblower who should have been protected but really he's a tattletale there's no tattletale protection laws snitches get stitches as we always said yeah he um he was in an apartment um in a like real high up in a building whenever i visited him in uh in vegas it was it was really nice though like a penthouse kind of place he was

in not a penthouse but um just a high-rise apartment that's cool i have a story i've been saving for about three weeks now you guys want to hear it yes oh fuck she didn't she deleted the resolution the update but here is the original uh i know this oh i 22 year old female have not seen my boyfriend's 24 year old male penis after six months of being together and having a sexual relationship i know this sounds crazy but bear with me we've dated for about six months and i've literally never seen his erect penis. I think I've maybe once walked in on him nude, and I've seen his flaccid penis, but never erect. We've been having sex since our third date, but I've never seen it. I've asked him on multiple occasions if he would let me at least see it, and he refuses every time. He rejects me when I want to masturbate him or suck his dick and prevents me from fully seeing it when we have sex.

He'll keep his boxers on during foreplay and moves it so I can barely see the outline. They'll only come off right before he penetrates. Then the boxers come back on immediately after we finished. I've asked him to show me numerous times, but he says he doesn't want me to. I've asked him why he won't show me and he says it's personal. From what I've gathered, there's nothing physically wrong with a penis. It's a little on the smaller side, but I've told him multiple times he's the best lover I've ever had. And even if it wasn't, or even if he wasn't, it's ridiculous for him to not want his girlfriend to feel, see, or suck his dick. It started as me just wanting to see his dick face to face.

Now I want him to open up. How can I get him to do this? How can I not literally, I hope, uh, so she want to peel that thing like a banana. She deleted the update and it's a bummer, but I've read based on my memory,

the dude got a tattoo of a former girlfriend's name on his dick. And then when, uh, he went to have the tattoo removed because they broke up he got some like disfigurement on the side of his dick it only worked because her name was amy yeah yeah he had her name oh and read it too and she kissed his dick with lipstick on and then they tattooed her lips to the side of his dick yeah i just got some weird birthmarks yeah what a ridiculous scenario right yeah so he had like scarring and i think that it maybe gets erect in a funny way because of the scarring does that remind ring a bell for you i don't remember that part my my whole issue

was like like how did they remove this fucking tattoo? Because there's creams that just make it fade over time. And those don't create scarring. Like I've seen, I, you may have seen the guy on Reddit who like had the full face tattoo and like they showed like six images of him slowly fading away until the end. And it's just completely gone.

His complexion is fine. It wasn't laser. I only knew about lasers for removing. That's a makeup ad. There's just completely gone. His complexion is fine. It wasn't lasered? I only knew about lasers for removing tattoos. That's a makeup ad. There's a cream, and I think they can laser them too. Are you talking about Zombie Boy? I don't know Zombie Boy.

The guy with the full-body skeleton tattoo, and then there was the L'Oreal or some makeup company. Have you not seen that? Look at how good our fucking concealer is. We can make this absolute freak look like a guy who you wouldn't run from at a supermarket it's pretty cool the guy had like a human skull tattooed on his face if i recall and they were able to put makeup on

and it's funny because i looked at that ad they put makeup on and you couldn't tell he had tattoos anymore his face looked normal at least through the camera. I don't know. Maybe you get up close to him and he doesn't. But I was like, wow. Like, in my head, they had covered a terrible disfigurement on this man and made it so that he could, like, exist in public again. And then I had to sort of remind myself that he did this on purpose.

Yeah. He intentionally, he didn't get too drunk and like wake up with some guy tattooing his penis. This was definitely intentional. Oh, I just watched your video. What an awful tattoo you have, you scumbag. Why would you do this to yourself? Why are your armpits shaved? What is wrong with you?

Oh, God, your whole body is a tattoo. I see that now. And there's a biohazard symbol right in the middle of his chest. He looks like one of the war boys from fucking Mad Max. He looks like a fucking war boy. Get out of here. Oh, he's dead. He died?

Wow. Ain't poisoning. 2017, 85 to 18. He died? Wow. Ink poisoning. 2017, 85 to 85 to 18. R.I.P. Rick. Oh, my. How did he die? Just cringe.

How did he die? Let's see. He was shot by a frightened shopkeeper or something. That's it. That's a life-altering mistake. Dead after falling from his balcony. What did he do? Fell from his balcony.

Suicide. Fourth floor. Yeah. Fourth floor? Yeah, he must have dove. I mean, four floors is pretty good. Yeah, that'll fuck you up. No matter what yeah i mean

i'm still looking at this dude this story is absurd yeah she break up with him she should have broke up with him way before that it's like you're fucking but you won't let me jack you off you only suck your dick what's going on here what the fuck is up what something is iffy you know that's weird she was kind of cool about it she felt like it was um amusing in a relatable way that he had made it was best case scenario because she thought maybe he had an std that he was hiding or that he was like a transgender or something like that like she couldn't figure out what was going on the comments were wild trying to figure out why this guy wouldn't show his penis yeah yeah and really he had just made a um a goofy irresponsible life decision when he was younger you know yeah so understandable i

would never let a tattoo needle anywhere near my penis i don't know care what age i was that just seems seems awful yeah there's a i i can't't get over how liberal and douchey relationship advice is. What, on Reddit? I don't read the comments very much. Oh, you've got to read the comments. That's the best part. Okay. Like seeing how insane these people are.

I'm going to try to find a good one. I find they often lean towards breaking up. Like everything is a showstopper on relationship towards breaking up. Everything is a showstopper in relationships. Oh my god, this is sexual assault. My boyfriend doesn't want to watch Frozen with me. He says that we've already

watched it together and that I drank too much wine to remember. And they'll be like, honey, that is straight up gaslighting. You are being gaslit. It is time to break up. I would phone the authority. My wife prefers me with the beard what she doesn't get rid of her it's like really everything is they get rid of everything everything on relationship advice is a showstopper and they say break up i'm the little one i've read it seems like this one having problems with her guy

it's like break up all some available dms are open i like this one this is from a while back this is one where i actually agree with the comments and uh and and the the poster my she's 20 female uh boyfriend 20 male said that i was embarrassing him while i was giving birth to our baby title alone like like like i stopped right there before I read the rest, and I was like, all right, my girlfriend is giving birth to my child. What could she do right now to embarrass me? That would actually embarrass me. If she poops on the table, that's natural. It happens.

If she says something like – She's wearing ICP makeup. If she's wearing ICP makeup, okay, I'm embarrassed now. All right, all right. If she says juggalos for life when they pull my son out, I might be a little cringy. But all right, we have been in a relationship for a year. We had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth.

My boyfriend was there throughout the whole process. I screamed a lot. And each time i did he whispered something like can you stop screaming you're really embarrassing me he's right i also threw up a few times and i saw him cover his face in shame when i held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered let go of of her. Stop being so embarrassing. He also said that my birthing position was, quote, embarrassing. And he called me a few vulgar names.

I wonder what her birthing position was. I imagine like doggy style full arched back. Like thrusting backwards. Like the inertia will throw the baby out. Imagine like doggy style full arched back. Like thrusting backwards. Like the inertia will throw the baby out. She's trying to fire him out like a long snapper. 22! 22!

22! Shoot on the table! Shoot on the table! I'm really upset about this behavior that day especially when it was when i needed the support the most when i try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and he says that i'm being silly dot dot dot i know that there are a lot of comments but i'm reading them all and i just want to thank everybody for their advice blah blah blah liberal bullshit um liberals in their comment reading that that's the end of it so let me go to some And I just want to thank everybody for their advice. Blah, blah, blah, liberal bullshit. Liberals in their comment reading.

That's the end of it. So let me go to some of the comments. I, 24, female, literally shat myself, in parentheses, a lot while having a contraction. When my water broke a minute after, my husband helped the nurse clean me up. Then he helped hold me up as I delivered our son, not to mention him holding everything together at home the whole time and constantly being present and ready to help at any moment. That is all said to assure you that your boyfriend's behavior is not normal, not acceptable. You're not being silly. This is a huge red flag and a big indicator of what the future will be like, especially under stressful situations.

Please don't feel like you have to stay with him just because you have a baby together. You deserve better than this. I agree 100%. This guy is a huge loser, huge fucking loser. You're a dumb bitch for not locking him down with what the law calls marriage and what any reasonable human being calls prison. You can't

leave him off the hook. You gotta hook him in. Of course he's making fun of your vulgar position and stuff because he can just walk away. He'll be fucking catching crabs in Alaska. Both kinds. Not if you go to Alaska. I don't think that's true.

Federal law does not apply. Federal law does not apply to Alaska. It's not even there. It's a territory, Woody. Hawaii either. It's more of a radial thing. No, it is. We have the best advice on this show.

Anyone trying to flee their child support, responsibilities. You've seen the deadliest catch. Pennsylvania's a commonwealth, so technically the law doesn't go there. I like this guy nagging his wife in the middle of the birth. It's pretty funny.

It's a really mean thing to do, but it is funny to imagine a woman screaming in pain and he goes, can you fucking calm down? Yeah, I imagine that. I need to know how loud she was before I take sides. There is no loudness

that is not appropriate for having a baby. Some people make a big deal out of everything. Yeah, you ever pass the kidney stone? The reason he was saying that is because she was going oh! Just N word after N word after N word. That's hilarious.

Oh, let's get this little out of me! And he's just like God, honey, did you have to wear the hood as well? Honey, remember the chant the midwife taught you. Not that one! Not that one! Like, God, honey, did you have to wear the hood as well? Honey, remember the chant the midwife taught you? Kike, kike. Not that one.

Not that one. Kike. The doctor's over there with a fucking yarmulke on. I've had enough. I've had enough of this. I won't take this abuse. He's sitting there. He's like, honestly, I'm going to make my 1 p.m.

This is good. It's helping to get out. You know? So let me ask. You guys, look, look, look. I'm not saying that he should have said that she was embarrassing him and whispered it multiple times and talk shit about her birthing position the guy was obviously over the top having said that i can imagine a world where it's like this is maybe

excessive yelling this is this is attention seeking behavior wow i wish this was an episode with jackie right now i suddenly want like a co-host over there doesn't know she's a silent that brings us to the surprise for tonight's episode jackie come on jackie would be a silent sufferer and in anytime she's uh not doing well she was under anesthetic of course she's a c i mean anything she's had in her entire life she's that's that's how she's wired she's not doing well. She was under anesthetic, of course. She was a C-section. I mean, anything she's had in her entire life. That's how she's wired. She's a silent sufferer because I wouldn't settle for less. Also, she's never done the most painful thing

a human being can do. Break your femur. A natural childbirth. No. From what I've read, from what women tell me, and they would never lie, what if it doesn't hurt at all and they're just fucking with us? I would not put it past them. You know what?

I bet it feels good. I bet they love it. Some women come when they're given birth. Don't believe me? Look it up. Ben Shapiro taught me that. He's an expert in pleasing women. The only time a woman can actually come is when she is giving birth to the child. That is God's gift to women. women the only time a woman can actually come is when she is giving birth to the child

that is God's gift to women whatever the fuck you would say here's another one that I saw and I thought was fucking hilarious because this goes back to the woman who hadn't seen her boyfriend's penis and how like six months in all my relationships with women

it boggles my mind because like they see it yeah we have well not just not just how early she's gonna see my penis i've got my floor can you go to the table right down there you're just hard as shit that's under the table i can't find my napkin it's on your lap but but also like like, the fact that, like, there's going to be sex in, like, rooms with lighting and outdoors and in cars. And, like, sometimes I'm just going to pull it out and be like, you know that thing where you, like, pull one of these? You're like, oh, gotcha.

I'll do that with my cock sometimes just for laughs. It's funny. It's funny. I had a girlfriend who would do that with her tits. It was fucking hilarious. We would be at a winery touring the fucking grape fields, and she'd be like, I'd turn around, and she'd just have titties out. I'd be like, oh, got you.

Yes, you did. You win. If you get me nine more times, you win the day. Then I have to suck them. I've been seeing a new guy for a few weeks now, and he is absolutely wonderful. Oh,

you're reading. Okay. He's reading something he wrote earlier. His name's Brian. Our personalities mesh so well. We both have a similar sense of humor and we both seem to agree on a big, on the big things in relationships, you know,

similar financial views both child uh both child free etc we've had several deep serious and frank conversations about sex what we like and dislike our histories not a good idea because of all because of some past missteps in relationships i'm enjoying the fact that we're taking things slow and getting to know each other so well before getting physical. That's your first red flag, right? Because she has been throwing around the pussy for free to all these other guys and she gets with this guy she likes a lot and you got to play it slow.

I don't know. Everybody knows you value meal pricing. The red flag to me is that he is okay with playing it slow. It's a red flag, frankly. Not completely out of the ordinary, like maybe it's a red flag frankly not not completely out of the ordinary like maybe it's a thing but red flag for me taking on their own each of several things he's told me in these conversations wouldn't even faze me but together i suspect he may have transitioned from female to male what and bullet points and bullet points he has ed and the typical meds do not work

second he may be able to get surgery one day for an implant that would allow erections third he takes monthly testosterone injections fourth several years ago he had some sort of chest surgery that severed nerve endings to his upper chest region and nipples. All right. Do we even need a five? Of course. No, go to five. He can only get off when I play with his clip.

It's kind of odd we wear the same dress size. He has dealt with anorexia, depression, and anxiety in the past and still has depression that is well-controlled. This is totally a woman. Again, on their own, none of these would make me wonder. On their own, three of those would make me wonder. I don't know

how much experience you guys have with women who have had breast implants, but I've known a lot. I don't know if it's something they do every single time, but the girls that I've known, they remove their don't know if it's something they do every single time, but in the girls that I've known, they remove their nipple. They take the nipple off, and they fucking move that shit. And when they reconnect it,

it often doesn't have the same amount of sensitivity anymore, or it's weird. Because if they didn't move it, its location would be in the wrong spot. I guess it's super important to have that nipple in the right spot. Symmetrical. There's a certain look that you're going for. It's on on top or something it stands out as wrong well you see the other ones where they got like the under the i like it in the armpit i just read about it and

it's supposed to be and not perfectly symmetrical i guess which probably isn't a problem anyway carry on uh i'll make this plain whether he is or't trans, I very much want to pursue our relationship. I've never met anyone that makes me feel as wonderful as he does. He makes me want to be better. Be better. He challenges me, lifts me up, blah, blah, blah. It sounds like a real good friend you've got there. Without making him uncomfortable, how do I let him know that it's okay,

that if he's trans and that he can trust me with my information without jeopardizing our relationship, blah blah blah blah and i believe that there is a follow-up yeah uh shortly after my post sent him a text message letting him know i was really into him and short of rape murder or animal abuse there wasn't much he could tell me that would scare me away in person our conversations were wonderful and deep and more liberal nonsense. I told him if he wasn't interested. Oh, and then he said in person, our conversations were wonderful and deep and funny and flirty and fun. Then he'd go days and days without texting, calling or anything. I wrote this off as him just being busy. He's a first responder with a crazy schedule and mostly just let it go. I told him that if he

wasn't interested anymore, that was fine, and he could just tell me. Honestly, I can't handle rejection pretty well. He got very defensive and asked where I'd get that idea. Basically, this guy, he blew her off. For hours, he doesn't respond. And then she talked to a friend about the situation that knows him, and she says, God, no no much to my confusion uh apparently

he does this a lot he gets really close to women and then breaks it off with them that's his thing okay it's a woman though we all know it's a woman right anyone like it sounds to me in there she might not know she's gay yeah she found this girl ex-girl, and thinks that he's the cat's pajamas, then maybe she should try other girls. She should have done a conversation. I'm not saying this right. I know what you're saying, but I'm saying she should go

and be like, you know what? I hate to say it because I hate penises. I just hate them. And then you could bait them into being like, that's a good thing because I don't have a penis and then and you got him dead to rights and then you can say aha you bamboozled me you lied that's not how do you feel about a huge science experiment clits how about how would you feel if they staple the role of cookie dough to my lower torso

and just didn't work with that you're bordering on this point i'm not cosigning i'm not cosigning it yeah it seems definitely like a trans person that she was talking to what a weird relationship that they had though like from what i read they never had sex but she's madly in love with this person who's had all the clear signs of someone transitioning between from from the testosterone injections to the injections to the chest surgery to the fact that this person supposedly can't get erections. Without an implant? Without an implant. Either they're trans or this is a very unfortunate man.

A very unfortunate man. Yeah. Where it's like, God damn it, my dick doesn't work at all. Everybody thinks I'm trans you know those peck plants i got years ago got all infected so i'd have a surgery and now my nipples are all numb just a menagerie of poor decisions at least the face tattoos came off i went to bing and i searched on female to male gender conversion penis. And either these are not female to male gender conversion penises or female to male gender conversion penises are outstanding.

They're foot long. Let's see. Well, this isn't a helpful group of searches. Oh, safe searches on. That's the problem. There we go. Let's see. Oh, God.

I don't like seeing the actual surgery. You're seeing the surgery? I'm on images. Yes, I'm seeing the surgery. What was your search string? On images, I'm seeing a lot of obvious photos. I searched sex change penis after. I like that.

Oh, dude. What I'm seeing is not attractive i don't think these are god i don't think these are converted penises i think these are just gifted men porn stars who are you oh if you type in male female to male phallus surgery you can see a couple of images oh god they take a big flap from from the rest of the body and like like oh no oh well that was an ugly pussy to begin with mr i can spell phallus i mean that's oh these are surgical photos in there oh they're taking huge chunks out of it i don't like what I'm seeing. I can't do this anymore. I'm seeing a lot of penis mutilation is what it looks like, but I know it's surgery. I can't look at this

anymore. It's too much. I see these. These are not great. We have... Not great. I think the ones I saw before were just like porn star level penises. That's just what I was seeing.

We just didn't have the right search terms. Yeah. No. Bottom surgery. FTM. I think that that would that would get the right thing. Bottom surgery. Yeah.

Top surgery when they fix the boobs. Bottom surgeries when they add a dong. Oh, have you seen some of the skin removal on the forearms and the legs? That looks like a severe burn or some sort of terrible injury. It looks like a burn, doesn't it?

I'm done with this. Some of these are hard. Some of them were unrelated. Did you see the guy had tons of warts or trees growing out of him? No, I did not see group. No,

I did not. That was about penile cancer. I saw that. You saw that too. Yeah. Okay. It looked like he had like mushrooms growing out of him almost, but like,

or maybe it was an STD. I don't know. It was bad. This is a picture of a croissant. How did this get in here? All right. Yeah. This is a picture of a croissant. How did this get in here? Alright. Yeah, you're right. I'm done with this. I don't want to look at that anymore.

Speaking of, we're on the dating and sex thing. Someone on the fine PKA subreddit posted this. A sexual agreement form that he said one of his friends was handed after one date before they went home. It's four pages. Front, obviously, sexual agreement form. I'm sure Woody

will put it up, and I'll just read it. Sexual agreement form. This agreement is made, sign, in 2019 between blank hereafter the proposer and blank here and after the consentor. Therefore, on the consentor makes their body available for the aforementioned purpose from time blank to blank on date blank. 2019, during which period the consentor consents to participate in the following activities until proposer declines the form. Both parties agree this is a private agreement not to be disclosed to third parties. Full name. Nickname. Age. Date of birth.

Address. Postcode. Contact number. Email. Hair color natural. Hair color current. Eye color. Height.

Weight. Less than 100. 100 to 175. Greater than 175. Illnesses. Please give details. I, the consentor, hereby declare I am over 18 years old. Sign.

Do you smoke? And what? Do you drink? And how often? Do you you use illegal substances and what? Do you have tattoos? Where? Do you have any piercings? Where? Have you ever been convicted of anything? Like, they're asking for real details. Proposer will take consentor on dates. Therefore, blank has to make time and availability for the king, proposer. Dates include movies, long drives, walks drives walks bowling going to the park going for food and then a bunch of lines to add your own ideas date must last four hours minimum consentor sign with taylor jesus we can do a better form right it should really just be about positions and completely unenforceable that's what we're getting to consentor you can initial for the following full body touching kissing rubbing vagina area digital penetration

spanking this one just says boobs oral sex vaginal sex neck misspelled with a K at the beginning anal sex restraint use devices toys other activities the form is toys will be used on you being spanked cuddled in the car park

shopping restaurant etc this person is a retard they cannot write for shit The form is toys will be used on you. Being spanked, cuddled in the car, park, shopping, restaurant, etc. This person's a retard. They cannot write for shit. You don't know how many words I've had to put in here to make this make sense. I'm going. I'm having to like read a little bit ahead and interject things. Whips shall be used. Chalkers shall be used.

Chokers is what she meant. Ice shall be used at times. Bailing on blank will result in punishment. Food shall be used. You are to obey the king in the act uh choking with you hate with choking you with hands and toy picking you up shall be done and throwing about what the fuck blindfolds shall be used this person watched half the episode of csi miami and he thinks he's got the form down. And what's this bottom part? In bold.

This must be really important. I further declare that I at this time are not under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or medication and agree to engage in consensual sex with blank. All this time, I do not intend to change my mind. However, if I do, it is further understood that when I say the words code red my partner agrees to stop under the circumstances he knows i couldn't handle the situation that whole paragraph is one sentence oh so this is a girl writing it and poorly written it's difficult to discern but it is a crazy person right definitely the other person is a guy because you know based on the pronouns so yeah so i i assume she's a girl that's not

necessarily safe and uh oh well she's also going to be school girl policewoman nurse etc this one says you are to be caged at times yeah so you're gonna be thrown into like a kennel and sprayed i don't like how this is done this This could be so much better. Our app still has legs. Oh, wait. Maybe this is a guy, a retard guy writing into a woman because it says no other male is allowed to touch you normal or sexually or have any relationships with you. But then in other places, they're using the wrong pronoun. Yeah, I think we should chalk this up to retardation.

I don't think that you could take this into an attorney and have them be like, all right, boilerplate stuff here. Here's my stamp. I don't think this was done by anyone with legal representation or understanding. A tenuous grasp of the English language is that attorney and son. I don't think this person has a jurist doctorate at all. No, I would be shocked if they did.

It might be a prank. But what just as odd is, what is going on with that thumbnail in the bottom left square? Look at that. It's a little toe thumbnail. Just like Megan Fox. I didn't know that some people had toe thumbs naturally. People told me for the longest time that some people had toe thumbs naturally. I,

people told me for the longest time that Megan Fox had an accident and that they sewed her big toes onto her hand. You know, when you just accept things kind of like Helen Keller that are obviously false. And then later in life, you're like, well, there's just no way that they slip that one.

That's Taylor. You're wrong. She doesn't have any idea what she looks like. That's true. But it doesn't make mine untrue. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is a fucking crazy person.

These will probably become a more popular thing. I would imagine, right? I'm stuck on Helen Keller doesn't know what she looks she looks like i'm gonna be there for a minute yeah i don't i don't think um this is a good idea now our consent app on the other hand is a great idea but but this singing in black and white, that's that's a little off putting for me. Plus, it's so poorly written. I'm having a hard time even deciphering what the fuck they're talking about. That is that's the crux of it. I didn't read it before I brought it up because I wanted to save it.

But I thought they would at least have kind of the person said they were in college. You know how to write a little bit punctuation the basics grammar apparently not really i was gonna look down on which college they went to oh dude there was a that was something you realized early on in college like i was in some english class my freshman year and it was like all right time to grade your your classmates papers or whatever and i was like all right this is college people know how to write the motherfucker's paper i was grading like he started the second paragraph with the word because and i was like this is like are you trolling man like you fucking around like this is like first grade teachers would have been like no you don't you don't you don't use because to begin or right and so like at the beginning of a

message so that was you know what i wish that you could start sentences with, but that's a rule that I think we could, I use, however, sometimes if I need to, if that's the flow of thought, but I don't know why starting with, but it's so awful.

Usually it would be because it, it would be needless, right? Like if you said, there's no reason for us to meet on tuesday but i can send you the stuff now there are two sentences there like you if you want to make them two sentences you would just say no reason to have the meeting tuesday i'll send you stuff now so it's it's like shorthand for on the contrary right maybe the first point i make

is long enough that it feels like it should be a whole sentence this thing's gonna be a damn near paragraph if i don't end it here. Cool. But on the other hand, I want to make a counterpoint and starting with, but like, I feel like it flows, but I use,

however, you know, well, the line of work you were in, like, I doubt anybody gave fuck about like the, the grammar and everything. I don't want to brag,

but I was a native English speaker. Yeah. Did I, about like the grammar and everything. I don't want to brag, but I was a native English speaker. Yes. Something I've noticed is like boomers, you know, on the phone, it'll say if someone sent you an email from their iPhone, it'll be like written on an iPhone. And so many boomers will add something on there like, this was written on an iPhone. Please explain the brevity and typos.

Like that's just a boilerplate thing that is now copied pasted into so many boomers like little address thing and they think this means you can write however you want where it's like hey are you making meeting today or today and it's like it's not it's not what it means man you should still try and write they see texting emailing just as vacation time which which is kind of funny to see these you know 59 65 year old people do it my dad uses uh talk to text uh exclusively so i get some interesting messages that sounds adorable actually i was uh i've been looking to add some more workout equipment in my gym i want to get a

bunch of dumbbells but the price of ordering a ton of dumbbells and like the set and everything even used i was looking on uh on ebay and craigslist today it's like two grand. If you want the whole setup from like 50 pounds to 110 pounds or what, all that I found this and I'm still looking them up. It's adjustable dumbbells. Yeah. The power block, it goes five to 90 pounds and it's, but it's $627 for a pair of these.

It's so expensive um yeah but then you compare that to like if you want full sets of regular dumbbells this is actually way fucking cheaper i would just be concerned about i would be putting these things through a ton of wear and tear i'd be using them most days like i don't know i need to read more reviews i have some thoughts because i went through this buying process before you. And I think your decision should be made on space. If you have the space for a rack of dumbbells, they will literally outlast you, your children, and your grandchildren. This is a buy it once, buy it nice, or buy it twice thing. True.

And I suspect that you'll really value the ability to just put one down and grab a different weight as opposed to this setup. And I looked at all of them. All of them have like some sort of problem. Yeah. The Bowflex one has a couple problems. Like this one's fine except, you know, the weight is ginormous and it's kind of unbalanced for what you'd expect for a 15 to be or like whatever it is. Because it's like it's the size of the biggest one. biggest one but you know it's the volume of the biggest one but you have to hold it in a weird way or um like i'm looking at this what do you grab it in the middle of that stack yeah you

grab it in the middle of the stack you might not want your wrist you can't do as many for something you can't do as many exercises with some of the shape like that. That's true. Yeah, I just – Changing the weights is a pain in the ass in some of these. Like you have to – like you know how you put a bolt through a couple things and you have to line all those holes up? A lot of them work on a principle that's similar to that. So you're going to have to get this bolt through like six things and get the ones and not get the others to pull it out and get the proper weight.

Some of them changing the weights involves both sides. so it's like a double pain in the ass and uh in the end even though it stores really well i was like no i just got a big old home depot rack and a set and it's more expensive for you than me because you're so strong like i think mine stop at 55 pounds which i think is okay for me for everything but like maybe farmer's carries or something like it you know i don't even i don't yeah i would definitely want the zero to 91 so i could i could feel like i i'm covered for the most part but like yeah it goes by weight so like the the fives and the tens are just a little more than free but when you add like the 60s and 65s and 70s it's like fuck it like 0 to 55 is i'll make it up you know 300 55 to 100 another thousand it's like haha because there's all that volume you go zero if you want

one of the 55 or up to 50 pounds of this it's only like 330 bucks up to 70 480 but i would want more than that then you go up to uh to 90 690 or 690 670 whatever it is like i have a ton of space in my workout room so i guess i will just maybe buy a more piecemeal because the the weights i want right now like i want oh if you consider buying a piecemeal do look ahead at the shipping prices too because you it might be a you know cry once buy once cry once kind of like the shipping might not be that much more i'm not saying it well but let's say you bought 55 shipping is an extra 100 and then if you were to buy that all at once shipping's 150 instead you're gonna pay like another 100 and another 100 because you bought it three times yeah that

makes sense. A good way to get dumbbells when they're in stock, just actual dumbbells, is Titan Fitness because they have free shipping on any item. I ordered right around a thousand pounds of shit from them. Free shipping. Way, way cheaper than Rogue.

I can't imagine I don't use Facebook, but i told my girlfriend to check facebook marketplace and i'm checking like the plate again sports around here i did find one today that was selling like 275 pound dumbbells for like a dollar 15 a pound what happens in my area is facebook marketplace has gyms going out of business so they're used but who cares i don't even understand what a used weight like yeah right and uh but they're like pro only lifted 10 times i don't want to warn out but um if i were to have gone that route i think i would have paid about the same and like the gym ones are just coated with like a better rubber and like they're

they're the highest end i know you're just picking with like a better rubber and like they're they're the highest end i know you're just picking them up but it's better like that neoprene stuff on it or whatever it is that feels me the most important thing is what the what you're gripping how knurled it is and the shape of it i like it if there's a palm swell like if it's bigger in the center and then it sort of tapers down you'd like mine i think mine's mine's what kyle describes and i really like that the weight itself is like rubber on the outside i think that's common now but back in the day they used to be all metal and it just scarred anything you put it on if it touched the drywall even the slightest amount it like cuts it whereas if it's rubber and i'm gonna

drop them too like like like if if i'm like sitting doing like seated presses or something with a lot of weight i don't even think it's safe to like slowly lower that down and then for my shoulders i think i just need to like drop them to you know to the floor for to keep from tearing so you always do the swing like the swing back but if you're doing real heavy that's risky business yeah if if they're 65s i don't want to do that but if you're alone you know and i'm alone down there i can i can make a mess yeah i'm always going to be alone yeah i guess you guys convinced me i i could totally see myself spending 650 on that and then not liking it that much and then being

like well i'm not buying dumbbells now because i just did this and then you suffer with them for six years before you finally do yeah and it didn't get to you yeah it just didn't like you can get a ton done with just my like my barbell and kettlebell setup and like my dip stuff my my farmer's carry handles but i just really want some nice dumbbells i could really i get better activation on a lot of stuff. I've been pitching the dumbbells to you for a while. Sorry, I cut you off. And I think at the time you were really happy with your kettlebells, but I just, I like the dumbbells and I like changing the weights.

It's really, like I might do incrementing weights for bicep curls, like three sets. I don't do five. And I just put one down and grab the next and that's so much nicer than say the thing and if i work out with colin it's so great for me to grab my weight him to grab his as opposed to like breaking down the bar each time we switch that's totally it's very true that is a pain in the ass like when like my girlfriend and i do work out in the basement together and she'll do squats or whatever.

Like, Oh, you must have dramatically different weights. It's, it's a little different. And so, you know, if she's,

if she's having leg day and I'm doing, you know, upper body day down there, it's kind of like, she'll need help like getting like, she put the 45s on. Yeah. Like Colin started that way.

We have trouble with that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Colin, he can do it now, but at first he couldn't put 45s on. And,in started that way we have trouble with that kind of yeah yeah colin he can do it now but at first he couldn't put 45s on and uh it's like this is my rest between sets i like that like the first bit where you're loading the bar for something and you're picking up the 45s and you're like i'm already working out you know picking it up and kind of flip it in your hand and throw it on there i i bought the uh i got all my shit from titan fitness in my base for the most part not the kettlebells it's like rogue but

it's cheaper right it's like rogue but it's way fucking cheaper and it's also like it's gonna make you want to kill yourself putting it together because it is the heaviest adamantium on earth and every tiny little piece needs to be screwed together. Like you buy a rogue, that shit comes in like two pieces and you just grab the frame and drill it in together. But also a rogue version of the power rack I have was like 1300 and the one I got,

I think it was like five 50. I would want a cable, uh, like a full cable machine set up where you've got the two stacks of plates yeah that would be sick i have like in between and uh so i have a cable but you put plates on the side so it's kind of a pain in the ass to set the weights it's like behind it and on the ground but the bigger problem i have is that like a good cable machine like say you're doing lat pull downs i need a like a pad on my thighs to hold me there. Oh yeah,

for sure. Mine doesn't have that. So like, I'm like, what am I doing exactly? I tried hooking my feet like under the bench. And after a while it's like, well,

you can only do lat pull downs if you pull down less than you weigh. And I just switched to pull ups and shit. And that's not helpful. Yeah. You can just like, you're gonna have to like set 45 pound plates on your lap while you do it. then you'll never go wrong balance on your toes and destroy the machine yeah you don't want that yeah so the like you get straps like what you use to move like a refrigerator in the back strap yourself to the bench so i like pull down like i've been to real gyms as opposed to but

it's a home gym usually the rest of the apparatus around the cable isn't there. Yeah, you're going to have to spend like $3,500, I think, to get a legitimate cable set up. You really want that, who makes it, Spartan? Matrix. You want that full matrix system where on one side it's got cables on four sides of each post is that the one where you do like chest flies and shit you can do the chest flies yeah you can get between do chest flies but then like um you know the cables that you're pulling from are all adjustable so you can drop them all the way to the bottom to do lat raises or whatever you want to do i

considered that machine and in the end i was like i don't think i need it i like i can get the i don't know it's more of a want than i need but really the biggest thing was my room wasn't big enough like you have to devote it you have to have a lot of space it's big you have that probably and a 25 feet wide at least and then eight nine feet tall i if you pack your room too tightly then everything becomes like a put away before you use it right i've got an empty spot now for deadlifts or romanian deadlifts and uh i would hate to have to like clean up that area every time i did it like that would suck so um yeah well they got a cable machine on here for 2400 on amazon what is it called i look at it it is

yeah just link it yeah it's the x mark functional trainer cable machine with dual 200 pound weight stacks see yeah i'm familiar with these the problem with this though is like the uh the cables aren't wide enough apart to do crossovers effectively oh i thought those little side things you could like tick them out still it's not enough like like it's hard for me to tell how i need to start out here and and come all the way in like there's no way that that's gonna that's gonna work i don't know i like the one where there's two stacks um really spread apart and you like you grab one handle and you've actually got to start lifting the weights and stretching to grab the other and by the end it looks you're just kind of being pulled apart like when you're when you're just relaxed you're being pulled apart what does athlete x have uh he may use matrix stuff let's see the cable i bet rogue has some real nice

expensive cable stuff. I think of them as more simple machines, but you're probably right. They got a Cable 1 tower. It's only one tower, and it's $2,500. It looks great. And you've got like 295 pounds on those plate stacks, but then it's got the room on top to add. Per hand? Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be fine with that. Yeah, but then you've got the poles on top so you can slide the fives on. You've got two poles, so you can put like 5, 10, 15, 40 more pounds. Oh, good, because I didn't want to be limited by 295 pounds per arm. You get a 335 per arm.

Now all of a sudden you're like, Sometimes when I get a good pump on, you got at least a good 340 to really get a pump going and rip your body apart like you're a medieval witch. I feel like some of this

rogue fitness stuff, it's like, hey, we got brand new plates, 10-pound plates, $55. Let's just see who will buy it. Just join a gym, man. I've got some equipment. I'm sure both of you have better equipment than me, but I've got a power rack

and I've got a bench press and I've got, I don't know, 300 pounds worth of plates and stuff like that. But it seems like a gym is just the way to go where you pay somebody $20 a month and I mean, if you want to, you can just walk away and leave all that shit sitting on the floor and nobody will notice.

Nobody's going to notice. You're just the rudest gym goer ever. No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Your power cleaning, throw it down down just walk to the next station bouncing off don't even throw it down like down it away if you push the bar away you get a little bit of upper chest activation he's doing a deadlift and it just cleans his ankles women getting their cardio I turn and look at the little girl

like whoa what did you do can you believe that fuck playing game boy in the squad rack what's going on can you believe she just threw 180 pounds at you fuck she doesn't look that strong I don't know if I'd mess with her.

Yeah, she's tough. Anyway, I got to go to my other gym. Police can't hear. Yeah, well, all right. I'm just going to buy the regular dumbbells. And I know going to a gym, you have access to everything. But also, it's like I get a lot of personal joy out of being able to do it on my own time every single day where it's like, I'm going to go to my little station.

I got all my weights, got all my setup, everything I've got. I should send a picture to you guys. It's grown a bit. I've got, I got a lot of shit down there and I've got like my TV, a laptop hooked up to the TV,

HDMI. I watched every shows I want, put on some family guys, put on music and it's just cathartic and relaxing. Like just to be in your own house. Like I got to take a shit. I got a piss in the middle of it, just it's cathartic and relaxing like just to be in your own house like i gotta take a shit i gotta piss in the middle of it but it's carter b blasting it's cardi b blasting the whole time talking about her wet ass pussy no i'm listening to no way to turn it down that's that's a selling point is there a water fountain there that tastes like chlorine? No, I'm cursed with clean fridge water.

I also like being alone. One thing I really like is going from the gym to the pool. I'll finish sometimes the gym just wasted and tip over into the pool and wake up again. That's a really good experience for me. After four out of five workouts now, it's not a pool but like i get in my tub in my my master bath and i take like a nice magnesium bath and like with the salt and everything magnesium so i don't even know what that is but i'm picturing a mercury bath no you pour a bunch of magnesium salt in there and it it dissolves and it's supposed to be like really

really good for you and i can tell a difference after I work out now. If I hop right in there, I soak for a bit, and then I hop out, I do feel looser. I choose to believe you're bathing in liquid metal. It's like mercury there. Yeah, you can buy it. Where do you buy your magnesium sulfate? Amazon. Do you get the 20-pound bags?

Yep. Yep. The huge ones. And those last less time than you would think because i really like to dump that shit in there like i'll be i'll be in the middle of and it like congeals into a salt ball in there sometimes and so you'll like you gotta stomp it out it'll be like trickle trickle trickle trickle like little bits of salt and you're like give it a shake and then something the size of my head rolls into your bath and it's like fuck well

this bag's almost done this is gonna be a very salty bath like there's been times i get in there and i'll like move my feet on the bottom of it and it's just grit grit and i'm like oh you gotta get it again first and like do that little dat little dance where you dissolve all the all the salt away i'm saying that i've accidentally added so much that it won't take it. It will not take it. Super solidified? Super saturated? It's like a fucking dead sea in there. I'm floating on top of this shit.

Do you notice a buoyancy difference? Am I? Yeah, if you get enough in there, yeah, absolutely. You probably would. I've never heard of this. I suspect it's not for people with septic systems. Yeah, it won't for people with septic systems. Yeah, it won't hurt anything. It's just salt.

Yeah, it's just a big bag of salt. It wouldn't kill whatever bacteria is in there eating the poop. Oh, they love it. I wouldn't think so. So the magnesium salt, you can take baths in it, which is all I've ever done. We just called it the Dead Sea. The other instruction is add two tablespoons of it into warm water and then swish it around and drink it and it's supposed to like immediately

clear you out and make you have to shit yeah that's diarrhea mania you don't want to do that i'm just saying that's something that it says on the container take this amount and it'll do it you know yeah 104 degree bath burns as many calories as a 30 minute walk how long do you have a 30 minute bath at 104 yeah it's either a 30 minute bath or one hour bath i think it was 30 minutes that's a little bit it's like 200 calories that's a long let's go the other way a minute walk does not burn 200 calories no way i suspect if you had like a cold bath it'd burn even more like a 65 degree bath would burn some nobody likes that though woody that's true yeah nobody like you're burning

calories like a motherfucker because your body's fighting to survive and keep your temperature this is great so my swim team freshman year she was a she's she's hot but she just could have been a little thinner. Her body fat was higher than ideal, which in swimming doesn't punish you as much as other sports. But anyway, just a little on the chub side for a college athlete. Over the summer, she coached a swim team at a lake and just shivered her ass off all summer every morning and came back smoking hot super proven myth busted yeah she also developed an eating disorder man she was hot she put it on the swim team swimming thing too she said just her teeth

were fucked though we don't know why. Shivered. Came back a lot skinnier. A lot of bloody noses, though. My back is almost better. There are times when it doesn't even bother me. I've been started doing, I don't know, regular movements and gym stuff. Almost young man back. I went to the chiropractor.

I loved it. I hadn't been in so long. I've been watching these youtube videos of this guy who adjusts like celebrities and mma fighters and stuff and watching his videos and i was like i'm going i gotta fucking go not to him he's in albuquerque but i went to somebody local so nice i've seen so fucking nice that guy i think he did diego he was a big reactor some of them sometimes i worry a little bit like does he puts the strap around the neck and, like, extends their, yeah. And it's a little violent.

And afterwards, the people are in a state of shock. Yeah, it's great. That's my favorite adjustment, by the way. When they pull your head straight away from your body, that and when they, like, crank it to the left and to the right, those are my two favorite adjustments i also like the one where you sort of like roll over half and they he puts his palm like above your butt cheek and sort of pushes your hip over oh that's super that

feels super good with my bad back i don't know if that would instantly cure it or wreck me right now it's a coin for me it makes me feel so much better whenever I do it. Do you ever use a foam roller on your back? No. I mean, I have, but I haven't been. I should say. After squatting or hamstrings. Really, I hate it. I just hate it.

Yeah, I like to do it on my back. My back cracks like crazy. I do it every day in my back. Just crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. What kind do you have? Like the kind with the nodes on it or just the flat one? No, I hate the nodes. That's bullshit.

I've just got like a regular hard foam roller that's maybe 9 inches, 10 inches. What are the nodes? Pretty small one. That thing like Joe Lozon had that's like instead of just a perfectly round sphere, it's got like, I don't know, like bumps all over it. Like these hard chunks that it's meant to like really bear down on like quads and hamstrings if you're trying to get all the lactic acid out. And that is effective, but it is torturous. Yeah, it feels terrible.

I'd rather just be sore. Oh, mine has like a, mine seems in between in between and i don't i feel like you'd like mine just fine you'd be like yeah these have nodes but they don't do anything if it's just a lateral ridge things those aren't too bad but yeah the smooth ones are are the optimal i don't even have one right now i haven't used one remember when we'd be at paintball and i'd get you to like step on my back how much it would crack yeah yeah it definitely cracked a lot yeah yeah this is the one that i have i've had it for ages and those little the pattern into it doesn't do anything like it might as well be right yeah i see that i i i like the smooth ones i'm sure i think this would be

fine though yeah yeah this is like a bunch of options but i do it every day to my back and it it always cracks and it's always like a huge relief like it'll feel like really sore in like the middle upper part of my back whenever i like try to like stand up straight and just cracking i can feel it like really release and like the pain goes away right away yeah maybe i should buy one right after my two thousand dollar dumbbell collection they'll probably throw one in for free at that point dude maybe mention that could you throw in a foam roller so you get well the alpha series is 475 dollars you're looking at the titan dumbbell set right now Is that what we're talking about? If I'm going to buy a new,

well, the problem with Titan is that because they make cheap stuff and it's free shipping, they are sold out of everything 24 seven. And so like you have to have them bookmarked and then every couple of days I'll pop in and be like, Oh, are the 70 pound dumbbells in the 75 pound dump?

Nope. Sold out. And then a lot of the times you'll get in there and it'll be like one available. And so you'll have to buy one. And so it is, it's real cheap. Basically they just, their entire business model is make everything as close as you can to rogue fitness, but undercut them on everything, make it way harder to put together. So it's cheaper to produce and ship. And they really are probably doing some serious damage to Rogue in the home gym market. What about the loadable ones?

The ones where you've got an Olympic-style, what do you call it, on the ends, and then you just collar? Yeah, the sleeve. Yeah, you've got an Olympic collar, and you can just slide your existing weight plates on there. I was looking at those. First of all, that was choice one but those were

on Rogue Fitness all sold out and in order to get like as many weight plates as you would potentially want unless you want like a big like 30 pound 35 pound plate on there being awkward like you need the 20 inch ones and like you couldn't even do like touch those above your head like

the collar is so so long and so at this point i'm pretty much sold on what you guys said like i would much rather the regular size dumbbells just standard used i don't i don't give a shit where i buy them whatever the cheapest is uh yeah it seems like no matter where you go you're not going to get it cheaper than like a dollar 25 a dollar 15 pound. No. Unless it's a dude trying to clear it out of his garage, which every once in a while happens, which is 14. If you could find like a gym that was going out of business, and you could just walk in there and be like, can I take this stuff off your hands?

I'll pick it up, put it in my car, and leave. How much cash? That seems like such an ideal scenario. Yeah. You find that on Facebook, but not exactly that. and leave, how much cash. That seems like such an ideal scenario. I'll look around. You find that on Facebook, but not exactly that. You find middlemen who have bought stuff out of gym and then they sell it to regular people.

Yeah, if you get an estate sale or something like that, I don't know. Yeah, not a lot of dead guys with tailor-like weights, probably. Probably not. Or you could just join a gym under an assumed identity and then just steal all their stuff in the dead of night you even think of that taylor see this out of the box i just i'm fine i just farmers walk right out of the gym directly to my trunk

put it in come in like i'm getting ready for another workout. Shaking it out. Grab the next weight up. I bet I could steal a good amount before they stopped me. There are 24-hour gyms. You could go in there late at night when no one is there. You could clean the place out. Can you farmers walk 105 pounds? Yeah.

You could steal the 5, 10, 15, 20, 25s and 30s at once i calculated i'll work out the bath for your next trip you're gonna get yourself a 30 35 and 40 go yeah that's that's a good idea well it's a good idea in theory a legal life pro tip go to a gym. Illegal pro life tip. Yeah. I like that subreddit.

You ever see that? Illegal life pro tip? Illegal pro life tips. So it's like things you can do that are against the law that are great life tips. Like pretty much like stealing all your weights from the gym under an assumed identity. Like getting like a guest pass so they don't know who the fuck you are. weights from the gym under an assumed identity like getting like a guest pass so they don't know who the fuck you are then going in with your covet 19 mask and uh and just cleaning the place out at four in the morning well yeah no my covet mask is a balaclava don't ask questions dude you could walk around with a balaclava nobody would fucking flinch these days yeah it is no one would say a

word you got you wear some aviators and a big fucking mask everybody's like look he's looking out for me meanwhile you're stealing $2,500 with the dumbbells in the dead of night this is a solid idea taylor film it to be funny yeah yeah film it put on tiktok uh what is this oh this is good how to get free food to the drive-thru place the order at the drive-thru when you get your food tell the employee they got the wrong the order wrong and attempt to give the food back they'll tell you they can't take the food because of coronavirus then they will replace the order and you will have double your food yep that's but do you so like what are you are you ordering a full meal and having two meals later? Are you like, I will have a small fry and one McDouble.

And then you get like an actual meal by doubling it, you know, that smart way. Or you can just go through the garbage and, uh, and take the receipt and get a receipt and take it back and tell them they left any, whatever item you want out.

Yeah. I've heard that one. I've never tried it because that's come on, man. How many reasons are there for not trying that? How much? I mean, you gotta be broke.

I mean, look, I guess if you're destitute, like if you don't, you don't have any way to get lunch, I would absolutely do that. I would keep like a little pocket full of the good ones just in case it wouldn't have the dates.

Let's try and smudge that off sweaty fingers. But what else is good in here? How to get a free train. Doubt they can. I bet that's dumb. That's just a ticket. The Chiz method. Yeah.

Show up and tell them, I'm here. Force me off. You and the 90-year-old conductor. Not going to do anything. So Mitty bought Chiz's Mustang from him, and then he drove it cross-country from Sacramento, California to fucking Minnesota. And this is a man who only got his license a couple years ago and had really only driven like 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there, driving cross-country by himself in a car he just bought.

It's a Mustang. The speedometer isn't working because of the new tires that that she has put on it i guess they're like slightly bigger or smaller but in any case it reads the speedometer reads 75 when you're going eight no the speedometer reads 75 when you're actually going 85 i believe and uh he he managed to like plow right over a dead deer last night or the night before in a mustang he said it didn't damage the car but it smelled awful it must have been a very decomposed deer how the hell did he how do you accidentally run over a deer was it that pitch i guess from what i understand the

speedometer was reading wrong so he was going 150 yeah and then he hit there's a deer on the ground. So did he get home yet? Yeah, yeah. He made it home, I think, yesterday or the day before. It took him like two days. He stayed in a hotel over one night. Is it a V6 Mustang? I don't know. I would, I don't know.

I would get, if I had to guess, I'd say V8. I feel like V6 Mustangs are almost toxic right now. I can't get one. If I got a V6 Mustang in the world we live in, which is like this corner of the internet, they'd roast me, Kyle. They'd roast me until I burnt alive. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, why? Like, why would you get one? Like, go ahead and get the V8. That's, I guess you have to. The car I'm seriously looking at is the the cyber truck but um the car that i'm really fascinated real right now are these fucking uh factory five cobras that you can make for under thirty thousand dollars that that look fantastic and sound amazing but they're super they're completely impractical you know it's it's there's no top there's a roll bar you know

it's a five speed with a roll bar but they look so fucking cool and the kit's like thirteen thousand dollars and then you add another like fifteen thousand dollars worth of parts engine transmission rear end interior etc and they're just so fucking cool and it's like it's the kind of mechanic stuff that i know how to do like putting a rear end on is no big deal like dropping an engine in is no big deal as long as it's carbureted. I don't know. I can't work with anything fuel injected, but a carburetor 327 dropping anything would be no big deal.

It'd be fucking cool. Is it just way harder to work with fuel injection? There's a lot less wiring. There's no computer. There's a lot of different – a carburetor is easy to work on. If you don't know want to work on you just buy a new one for a few hundred bucks my buggy was fuel injected the rock crawler i had and uh i mean i just dreaded any time there was an electrical issue there were so many wires i think a lot of them i didn't use because you

know it's a dropped into the basically a big roll cage yeah and uh but like are there any humans who know what all the wires to a wiring harness does there must be 100 200 of them we um the 50 the 55 chevrolet bel-air that me and my dad built when i was a teenager we put a 5.7 liter fuel injected engine in it like an lt which which is like early 90s Corvette engine. And it's fuel injected. And the wiring harness is like this, this is it's like this bundle of cables. So I think what we ended up doing is tearing it completely unplugging the wiring harness from the engine and like buying a new wiring harness that only had the shit we needed for our application but still it was like a cable it was cables like this and eat but each one of them

was like had like a sticker on it and like a code and then you had a book that corresponded to that code and it still wasn't simple you know it was a whole lot harder than building your own pc i'll say that yeah you need um electronic fuel injection in a rock crawling buggy because carbureted they don't work well when you tip them yeah exactly it's more front and back but yeah yeah so uh so yeah you want something that runs upside down and that's efi yeah i guess you got an interesting like uh gas pump and uh gas tank too probably got one of those um gas tanks with the big sponge in it yeah yeah it's it's plastic on the outside but you open it and sponge everywhere in there yeah that's my drag race car was oh yeah i didn't know you had

a drag race car i had a trans am that was gutted out that had a what of engine in it. It's when you take a 400 small block and put, I think, a 350 cubic inch crankshaft in it and it becomes a 383 stroker. That's what it is. It's a lot of torque. It's real fast. What'd you link here, Taylor? Oh, it was a funny Twitter edit that made me laugh earlier today. So I'm queued up

when you guys are ready. Kyle, you ready? Let me get the volume fixed because I know it's going to bl i'm ready three two one play david david i mean i know you're a sophisticated guy the world is a mess the world is as angry as it gets well you think this is going to cause a little more anger, the world is an angry place. David. I like it. Yes. That's my president.

You're so funny. The little face things and the Joker music of it getting intense. I watched that movie again recently, and man, it fucking holds up. So good. This is my thing for kyle oh god read it joe biden criminal justice policy you have to go down a bit i'm looking for it let's see no one should be incarcerated for drug use alone something about i want to find it i I will. It won't take very

long. Hang in there. Bright website. Make it a dark background so people can read it. No one should be profiteering off our criminal justice system. I like that. Just control F cannabis. It's to criminalize the use of cannabis and automatically expunge all prior

cannabis use convictions. We'll see about that. We'll see because I feel like it's easy to make these promises and then they get in there with the fucking Pfizer CEO and all those big... You read it so quick. To criminalize the use of cannabis and automatically expunge

all prior use convictions. No one should be in jail because of cannabis use. As president, he will decriminalize cannabis and use automatically expunge prior convictions. And he will support the legalization of cannabis for medical purpose, leave decisions regarding legalization for recreational up to the states,

and reschedule cannabis as a Schedule II drug so researchers can study its positive and negative impacts. Yeah. That's what you want, right? Yeah, although i do have a distribution chart so i don't know if that covers uh that part um but uh but yeah that that sounds mostly good we'll see we'll see if he does it yeah i mean like where's it where's my wall all right i voted for a i non-voted for a wall to keep those... Wait, they're the ones who won't let us in now.

Shit. I'm glad we didn't build that wall. Well, I guess the illegals better all go back. It's so dangerous here. It's so dangerous for your own safety, illegal immigrants. Go back. We will weather the storm up here. Don't worry about us.

I voted to see Hillary Clinton locked up and to see a wall built. And I non-voted for both of those things. And they didn't happen. And so I'm a little I just don't. Tax cut for the rich. I mean he was also tough on China. That's true. That's one of the

few good things that he actually did with China is being tough on China and like. And it seemed like he legitimately tried to do something with North Korea. Whatever happened with that motherfucker? What's going on now? Well, he's dealing with an actual crazy person. Like Trump may be like... Dude, you've seen

his haircut, right? That's not a same haircut. If you can force every woman in your country to suck your dick while you look like that, that's alpha. That dude is cool. Yeah, he is cool. I don't know. I just feel like he can't be

a total insane Joker-like character because his family has maintained control of his country for ages. I feel like they must be cunning and effective in one way or another you know he must manage to think there are key holders underneath him that he keeps in power so that they keep him in power and the whole thing works out for the people who are on the top and this is a complicated

structure to balance and to keep going and to prevent revolutions and all that craziness for decades i don't think it's him his family doing that great of a job. I think it's more that China is maintaining that family's hold over the country. Like no, anybody who goes against the, the wounds, I guess like,

like trying to totally like him. If I'm King, I can't just fuck over everybody. I'll get overthrown. So as King, I have to make sure China's happy with me. I have to make sure that the, the guy who to make sure china's happy with me i have to make sure that the guy who's running our military is happy with me i have to make sure some top economist is happy with me

and if i make sure that those guys are taken care of and then they have their own structures that they need to take take care of and it goes down a couple layers before people just get fucked if china wants him in charge he must be doing something that makes china happy yeah yeah he's doing china seems to like it so there's there's some level of cunningness complexity to staying in charge of that country for generations and uh he's definitely not like some dog waking up every morning and like running towards someone running them through with a spear and like foaming at the mouth he's not i'd have you believe you know heath ledger's joker who's just like completely mad going insane uh it's an angry place it's like i they call all of our enemies madmen as if they're i don't know complete imbeciles who just run around stabbing people with pencils yeah and

sometimes the madman wheel of justice switches so fast where it's like this saddam motherfucker thanks for the help buddy a few years later it's like do you know he's uh he's he's totally crazy he's he's murdering thousands of people for no reason putin i feel like that guy is alternatively a clever could-be ally with us to crazy murderer, assassination order, assassination order. It goes back and forth whether we love or hate that guy. Yeah, I don't hear madman about him very much because it's pretty obvious he's a smart guy and he's calculated. He knows what he's doing. Yeah, he's definitely clever. I guess the friend-foe part is the thing foe part for sure yeah like you never you never know where it's going to go

it's just like i don't know we talked about the kamala thing i think that was a very bad move tactically for for the democrats i think that is probably one of the better options for the trump camp i still think biden and kamala will win but like they're but it will be because of the republicans failing and being fucking losers like they generally are not because they were such a good ticket like she's she has her history isn't very engaging she dropped out of the the presidential runnings because she was afraid to of the embarrassment of losing her home state she was doing so poorly in the primaries uh and so she has this terrible record that a lot of people or she has a record that a lot of people don't care for where she was incarcerating a lot of people and then now it's like she's total black lives matter fight for the protesters and it's like

there's it just shows how like she's just another politician obviously they all are who just goes wherever the wind is blowing but like she's not in either obviously they all are who just goes wherever the wind is blowing but like she's not in either camp enough for those people to give a fuck you know that's my feeling like susan rice another one of the top candidates i guess somehow involved in like the spy on trump campaign thing and i feel like it would have provided them a lot of fodder i think she was also benghazi related. She was what? Susan Rice is more like, just politically, she's a more likable person than Kamau.

That would have played, I think. Maybe. Yeah, I don't find any of the top people warm and engaging. No one was talking about Elizabeth Warren, but people in my universe were. I didn't want her. I think she'd be a bad pick. I think she'd be easily attacked by the other side. I wouldn't get the middle. That's my thought. I think she'd be a bad pick. I think she'd be easily attacked by the other side.

I wouldn't get the middle. That's my thought. I think she would have grabbed enough of those disenchanted Warren people and maybe even a couple of Bernie people who are like, well, I guess she's kind of progressive, even though she backed off of all Bernie stances. I'm targeting the unhappy Trump people like the working class white who voted for him last time who are going to be like, know maybe they traditionally vote democrat they're blue they're union members but they're like fuck it we're going trump i want to throw a molotov cocktail in dc and see what happens they saw what happens they see the covid response and they they're you know factories didn't come back or whatever and they're like shit unemployment's at like great depression levels right now uh this isn't everything i hoped it would be i don't think

they're going for warren but they might pick the more middle of the road person uh maybe maybe i just from what i'm seeing at least in like the more left-leaning progressive people i follow uh like the more bernie people i follow on twitter like all of them fucking hate it come on they're like this is bullshit like kamala sucks i don't like her i'm not i'm not even i'm staying home a lot of them are saying that like no you fucked us again with bernie i'm staying home and some of these like big influencers the people i see that are like yes kamala biden power ticket it's like these are just groups of blue check journalists that literally only exist in dc new york and la but because they have the

platforms they do they do a good job of making people believe that's what they think so i think that all these elite more neoliberal types who are ra roshish bumban kamala and biden are not realizing the extent to which like the bernie bros are pissed about this like they are not at all happy i don't know i feel like if you go too far left like the uh let's i know she's too young but let's say it was aoc um twitter might be happy a lot of the internet people would be psyched but in terms of like real lots of big voters you know winning the internet hasn't won elections someday it will someday i think i think the internet kind of won trump the election like all of the the grassroots memeing and support and stuff like that does reach out there like that's that was pretty significant there'd never been anything

like that before yeah to me one of the things trump did really well is he went on the media every day and i and like i i kind of admired it you know like jeb bush for example would complain that he wasn't getting the coverage from fox news or CNN that he wanted. And it's like, well, coward, have you tried calling them every morning? Because I'm sure they'll have you, Jeb Bush. Your last name is Bush. You're in second place right now or first place during some of it. It's not like you can't get booked on CNN anytime you want to. He could probably do it right now, right?

Do you really think they want to have fucking Scaramucci on for the 27th time? No, Jeb Bush, they will take you. Don't complain. I think the rallies. Yeah, Trump does well. That's Trump's environment, a rally. It was so good. I love that rally.

I would go to one now. That's funny. You should go. I'm telling you. Well, that's the thing. I was about to recommend that if either of you can this election cycle, go to a Trump rally. But obviously, that's probably not a very good idea. Yeah, they're not even holding them.

We're like 85 days out, something like that. And there's no Trump rallies. Yeah, it's a shame. It was so entertaining, dude. It was so fun. Everybody was of one mind. Everybody was very lighthearted and and and be and and knew that it was kind of like there was a guy wearing a sombrero man like like ironically wearing a

sombrero not not the kind of like the kind of sombrero that you that someone wears when they bring you out the big fajitas while like a mariachi band plays behind them like a gigantic sombrero he's in the front in the front row and trump's like hey like trump noticed him it was hilarious it was great this guy yeah yeah he does and you're totally right about jeb bush too like he could have called up at any time any of these fuckers can call up at any time and like you could tell trump that's his forte he's having a blast when he's on tv in front of people he loves it like i was i was listening to ona or i guess at the opium gym show at the time when he was running and i thought they were setting up like a joke where jim or opi whoever was like hey and then we got a donald trump calling in right

now really excited to talk to you donald about the the presidential campaign and i was like oh this oh, this is going to be like a funny bit. There's going to be an impersonator. Maybe Jay Moore comes on and pretends to be Trump. And literally on the phone, it's, am I there? Can you guys hear me okay? Yeah, I'm right here. I'm heading down to Nebraska right now. I got a huge rally, huge rally. You, now I'm telling you, Jim, I'm telling you, these are the types of numbers we've never seen before. These are numbers that are enormous. These are like sports games, but it's not sports it's just me these people care they care and he just goes and goes and goes and like is talking with

them and I'm like the guy who might be the president of the country is talking to Opie and Jim on Syria or like Jim just finished pretending to be a pedophile with Uncle Paul character and now you're it was just like holy shit he's so you think we could get Trump is what I'm hearing yeah absolutely i i think it's very unlikely trump gets a lot

that doesn't have no chances of getting him he's a fucking showman he's a fucking showman i'm telling you like like i i know i've told you guys this before but like in hickory north carolina when i went to that thing i showed up at five in the morning i it's when i got in line thinking i'd be in the front row. And I was like five rows back. That's the other thing. It was supposed to start at like 7 a.m. or 8 a.m. or something like that. And his plane,

there was fog. So his plane had to keep doing loops around the city. He didn't get there until like 10 a.m. The pilot couldn't land in fog? It's a small airport. I don't land in fog it's a small air um it's a small airport i don't know apparently that's it okay couldn't let the fog was oppressive anyway they were making laps around the place and we just sat there for hours and hours and hours nobody left there were

nobody left ever the place just got fuller and fuller like when he got there and uh chris christie was with him everybody it was like fucking acdc was on stage or something everybody was blown away they loved that shit and chris christie was super popular at the time like at least to that crowd he was and next to chris christie donald trump looks fit all right first of all this is like 20 early 2016 donald trump so he was fitter anyway but next to chris christie he looks like an all-star has trump gained weight during his presidency oh yeah yeah yeah he wasn't nearly this big uh like in 2016 he's probably gained a good 30 pounds 40 pounds maybe i i thought he had but but I wasn't. The suits conceal a lot. I don't think he's at his heaviest now.

I think he was really heavy around the North Korean thing. When I saw him over there, he looked real big. But in any case, Chris Christie is like 350 maybe and doesn't carry it well. Yeah, doesn't carry it well at all. He's got this huge neck and uh he was wearing those um when he would sit down he'd have like this fupa thing going on his crotch looked so weird and his pants would ride up real high so you could see like his like

fancy businessman socks and it was just like oh that was he clearly has an addiction that he's not in control of and he won to elect he got re-elected as new jersey governor so he can only do two terms he got both yeah and i'm like how did he win two terms with this addiction that you so clearly wear on your sleeve like a lack of better term but you know it's so out in front how did he win addicted he doesn't have his life in control and he wants to run a state and he won twice like very little stigma for i mean there's it is new jersey there's concerted funded efforts to try and make it normal to weigh whatever you want you know like if any like we can really think there's no stigma to being fat i think it's

no no i'm saying there's less stigma to it like if there's no stigma to it he would be getting roasted 24 7 in the media they'd be like are we to trust a man to run our cities our roads our construction our economy who can't even maintain his own bridges are we gonna do are we gonna do that like if he'll be like oh that kind of makes sense yeah he can't even handle his weight and we're gonna put him in charge of everything like but you can't do that you know because there is an effort to try and i just wish he was i wish he was more tongue-in-cheek about it he was like talking about the budget we're gonna do a lot of belt tightening around here and trust me that's something i know very little about so we're gonna bring nobody's belt is tighter than

mine this thing's three years old look at the holes I've drilled in this thing. I got a Dremel just to do it. Look at this. Look at this. This might be a little hard for you to swallow. It's cauliflower. That would be hilarious. He'd have won if he'd had some jokes like that. These guys need comedy writers.

Fuck kale was the better vegetable. Damn. You know when one slips out and you and immediately you're like no come back i need to rephrase it no one likes kale one syllable hard k yeah kale is i made a sandwich with kale thinking like because you know like i'll make a sandwich and like throw spinach leaves on there like raw spinach i like that and i was i didn't have any spinach and so i was like whatever kale can't be that much worse. Horrible. Just the worst thing I've ever put on a sandwich. Dude.

Just awful. So when I – I had never had kale until I met Jackie, right? And kale was like a part of their diet. And they asked me how I liked dinner and I told them I loved it. And then they learned from that that Woody likes kale. Yeah. So like. Maybe they didn't like you.

Dude, for like five years, I bit my tongue on this. And every time I ate at her family's house, they put together kale just for me. Sometimes, out of the goodness of their hearts, they'd only make kale for me. Right? Oh, no. It wasn't for everyone. Like, oh, yeah, yeah. But Woody, we made you kale because we know how much you like it.

And I would just lie. Hey, I ordered pizzas for everyone. I got pepperoni for you, cheese for you, Dave. Don't worry, Woody. I got you a big bowl of kale. That's about all. No dressing. Just the way you like it.

So how did they make it for you? Oh, don't put that pizza down in front of Woody. He wants his kale bowl. I don't know how they made it, but it was still like big leaves when they served it. So just a salad, basically? I think they cooked it, though. Maybe it was boiled. Boiled kale.

But I think I married that woman before. I was like, guys, I got to come clean. I've never liked kale. The whole time. I've been a spinach man from day one. I've been pretending to like kale for years now. That happened. I despise kale.

I like broccoli. I like cauliflower. I like spinach. But kale is where I definitely draw the line. Mixed vegetables are not the best for you. You know, the corn, carrots, peas. Yeah, I think Taylor's got a picture in his head. Yeah, those are the ones I don't like, actually.

They're my favorite. They always tasted soggy to me. I like broccoli. I really like broccoli. I like broccoli, and I roast some garlic cloves in there, too. I like broccoli, but it's higher effort to eat. It's not just like simple fork food. It doesn't cut very easily.

It can be too large for a bite. Don't steam it roast it i like to i like to steam all you got to steam those nutrients right out taylor all right you don't want those in there that when you're done steaming a big a whole head of broccoli and you look and that water has turned green that's how you know you've gotten the toxins out this is science toxic vitamin c yes yes i'll drink and i'll drink some orange juice i'm not i'm what if i what if i drank the water to make up for it that water in the bottom of the pot that has literally hot water it looks like a pool right when you get when you open it up in the

in the in the springtime it's so green yeah uh all the algae and shit yeah you're talking about i i hardly ever unless i'm in a hurry i'll like take one of those bags i keep in my freezer of like steamed brussel sprouts and throw it in the microwave i like those i don't like i mean i'm for fine but like steamed like cutting the brussel sprouts in half like like putting them on a pan and roasting them with like some garlic or something like onion powders like onion powders. It makes it crispy. It's more flavorful. It's just better, and it doesn't take that long. Roasting vegetables is the way to go.

Or sauteing asparagus. I like that. I like asparagus a lot. I like to steam it, but I steam everything. I like to steam the asparagus. Honestly, I really do like those microwavable packs of Brussels sprouts and lightly sauced broccoli. I like those a lot.

It's not bad. It's just like steamed vegetables to me are the blandest thing ever. There is no, there's so little flavor. At least if you roast them and put some garlic on there, there's something. They come with a sauce on them that's really good. And I just crack some pepper and salt on them. Something comes with a sauce on it. I'm very suspicious.

Store-bought sauce, I just assume is like msg fat sugar and everything nasty it's some sort of fake cheese yeah i don't know what it is but it doesn't seem to affect the calories very much and it's like 90 fucking calories for a whole bag of broccoli i was gonna say that's it that really seems to undercut the purpose of the broccoli well you've got to. Now it's whimsical cheese. Yeah, it's. And candy barf's holster. I deserve this. Wolfing it down, melting away. Yeah, I do pretty good about eating a lot of vegetables.

You have improved greatly on that, Kyle. It's not that long ago, only a couple of years that you were like – I wouldn't eat any vegetables. Now you'll send us photos of what you're cooking. Always pretty healthy. Whenever I started cooking more and more, for one reason or another, I don't know why, but I just seemed to have a lot of time on my hands the last couple years. So when i started cooking

more i had to i had to open up my side items for the longest time it was like yeah we'll bake potato but like that got old after a while so like i started adding asparagus and broccoli and cauliflower and uh those are my favorites for sure big potato like all that stuff it's the stuff you put on the baked potato right like like just a baked potato like baked potato is is is some good carbs you need carbs especially if you like uh if you eat it cold which you're like uh-huh yeah that sounds good but it's uh it actually is good for you it's better cold i haven't lately i've been having baked potatoes better for if it's cold butter on it so it's not like drowning in sour cream and bacon and stuff but it has butter on it so it's not like drowning in sour cream and bacon and stuff but it has butter on it

so there is a butter spread made of olive oil that has like a third the calories of butter that you might be interested in and it tastes about the same i just look like it's all carbs and i think your body turns carbs into sugar and it, you got to. It'll make your workouts easier if you load up on some good carbs. A sweet potato is like super fuel for working out. You bake a sweet potato at dinner, and all I do is put butter and salt. I know. The most boring. Sweet potatoes are gay.

Well, they're good. That's a solid argument. You have no counter. That's true. They're very gay. Another thing you have to know, all the vitamin A and a lot of the useful shit, all of it's in the skin. So you gotta eat the whole thing. You can't just scoop out the middle. Sweet potato skin, I don't usually eat.

Unless it's an apple, though. Don't eat apple skins. No, if you smoke some cigarettes. If you do, you smoke some cigarettes and it'll kill the poison. You'll be fine. Smoke some cigarettes and it'll it'll it'll kill the poison you'll be fine smoke some cigarettes i asked my witch doctor and she said two things that i needed to have less astral plane sex or i'll get ovarian cancer and that i should smoke more no my friend charlie told me about this um and he's uh i mean he's a lawyer so I don't know

I don't know how he knows so much I don't know if this medical advice is right but it was expensive so I'm going with it very specific practice Charlie has yeah yeah he doesn't have a lot of clients I'm enjoying

all the food talk it's making me want to eat before this I had my girlfriend like was made something really healthy it was like stuffed peppers with like onions and some other vegetables and then instead of ground beef like she's asking she's like i'm making and then some cheese and she's like i'm like oh you're making stuffed peppers ground beef she's like ground turkey and i was like it's still all right and but it was depressing like i was looking at the amount of cheese i could put on there with the calories and i was like this can't be the right amount of cheese for the the amount i want is so i can barely see so that i can more easily cut

into the slice of the pepper and have it all stay congealed in the cheese but without a certain amount of cheese on that pepper side you cut into it and all the contents are spilling out and it's everywhere and you're trying to scoop the onions and everything back on there have you ever weighed trail mix to get a like reasonable amount of calories in it a hundred calories of trail mix like picture a paper bowl put the trail mix in so that there are no items on top of each other, just a layer on the bottom of the bowl. That's all you can have. It's not. You know what?

I'll do the opposite thing sometimes when I'm dieting, and I'm like, I know what I'll do. I'll get unsalted rice cakes. And if I want to eat at night, I can basically have a roll of rice cakes the size of my forearm and each one is 25 calories and like if you were to eat all those like it's just nothing but fiber and you'll get like two bites into one you'll be like i either need peanut butter or i'm just gonna i don't even want to eat do you ever so peanut butter is awful for you because it's oil mixed with peanuts.

Do you ever use PB Fit though? No. Yeah, I have some in my kitchen right now. It's powdered peanut butter. You add water, mix it all up, and it tastes – it's not as good. It is 90% as good. But it's close enough as good. It's way closer to peanut butter than the calories are because it is mind-blowingly low.

What I'm gathering from this is you guys are more effective at lying to yourselves than to me. No, dude. No, trust me. It's powdered peanut butter that you add water to and it's really – It's so good. It can't be. I promise you it's really fucking good. PB Fit?

Does Amazon sell it? PB Fit 2. Yeah. And they make a chocolate version. It's like a third the calories or maybe a quarter the calories. And you just add a little bit of water to it and mix it up. And it's the consistency of peanut butter. It's like a really thick, spreadable peanut butter.

And it's just not full of vegetable oil. Yeah, he's got a can right there. That's it. It's good shit. So good shit taylor can move a little farther away and if you use chocolate uh if you use chocolate so protein powder you throw a scoop of that in there and you got chocolate peanut butter there's the one taylor has which is pb fit and there's another one called pb2 what do i want i use pb2 and do you know how it's different than PB Fit? I don't know I just want to get the smallest one

I like it a lot you've got to be careful how much water you add though the tiniest amount of water seems to get the job done but it's really good if you're adding it to a protein powder too sugar free PB Fit? that can suck my dick no that's what you want, you don't want any sugar in there i don't even want sugar in my peanut butter i just imagine it's worse than pb fit but you get pb2 you're muted talking to myself like a retard this is 70 calories for two tablespoons, and regular peanut butter is like 210 calories for two tablespoons.

Yeah, it's crazy calorie dense. Way less fat, which, I mean, depending on what diet you're on, may not matter. You could mix some of that up with some apple slices, and that would be a pretty decent snack. In the protein ratio, 70 calories for eight grams of protein, that's fantastic. I just want a starter.

I don't want to buy, oh, no, that's it's fantastic i just want a starter like i don't want to buy oh no that's not pb fit everything is either not oh here we are pb2 vanilla peanut butter powder i think i might like this madagascar vanilla vanilla i didn't know that existed i've had the chocolate before and i liked it but like like kyle said it's it's good as peanut butter but it's best just to add as a shake yeah it's it's really nice for adding a peanut buttery flavor to like a protein shake um and you can make cookies out of it too you can make like a protein you take you can take like protein powder pb fit and um um oatmeal and uh you can make like chocolate oatmeal cookies that are like made of fucking protein powder all right i threw it in the cart it'll get here someday

yeah it's good i like it i legitimate like like and the idea of it on rice cakes if you're starving yourself for some reason um i bet it'd be really tasty no for sure i've started to do the walk after eating thing one it's a doc recommended for the back just walking in general uh even though laying down feels like the right thing to do it's not you're supposed to have light activity and uh and i guess walking after eating sort of kickstarts a metabolism of some sort so better for your metabolism and it also helps you digest that food more quickly and uh and better uh you know because you're like sloshing your food around in a belly full of acid rather than just letting it sit there in a big pile oh that makes sense i never thought about that well i didn't do it

like in general jump like jump somersaults cart cartwheels. Yeah. Yeah. That's all recommended. Yeah. I think gymnastics and swimming are the ideal. Plus, if you eat three meals, if you, if you walk 10 minutes after each meal and you do three meals a day and you've

walked for 30 fucking minutes, you've, you've burned almost 300 calories. Done a thing. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Well, you guys want to call it a show? Yeah. Yep. Done a thing. Yeah, definitely. Well, you guys want to call it a show?

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Getting pretty late. No outros? No, sir. PKA 504.