Painkiller Already - PKA 508 Bruce Greene Peeing the Bed, Crazy PKA Hangout, Woody Gets Corona

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

pka episode 508 with our guest bruce green taylor made a mistake taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by honey and express vpn we'll learn more about them later some familiar advertisers but for now bruce what's new with you i've noticed a lot of flight sim and a lot among us yeah among us looks so much fun i wish i had that many friends have you i was gonna say none of none of you guys have played Among Us yet? I have. Oh, good. Kyle, how big was your group? Was it like 10 people? 8 to 10, something like that.

That's really... Are you good at lying, Kyle? Yeah. I can't tell. Guys, is he good at lying? The fact that you can't tell proves that I am. Okay, all right. He's really good at lying. Did you that you can't tell proves that I am. Okay, all right. So he's really good at lying.

So did you win basically every time? Not every time. No. Well, you know, it depends. See, that was a lie. I wasn't the assassin all that often. You know, it seemed like maybe an inordinately small percentage of the time I seemed to be the assassin. I was pretty good at, like, finding other people out and, you know,

figuring out like, like, why are you saying that? Why are you like so quick to blame that guy? Did you see him? Yeah, I saw him. I saw him. I don't know. I don't know if you saw him or not. You know, I think I did. Okay. But you know, nothing impressive. I think I know the answer to this question, but does it make you uncomfortable to lie to your friends no that's okay i just wanted to make sure no it's a game okay well yeah but does it you think it'll carry over into other walks like normal walks of life that the you're lying to your friends you're

really good at it and then i'll see i think that you think the river flowed in the opposite direction it's the normal lying to friends that makes this game so easy for Kyle. Oh, yeah. All right, Taylor. That makes a lot of sense. He's like the Nile, the only one going the other way. That's the one thing that I don't like about it. Catholic? Are you getting done with a game

and you're just like, oh, I've got to do a lot of Three Hail Marys. Hail Marys and Our Fathers. No, it's not about me. It's about what other people think of me. I'm worried that they'll think that I'm really good at lying. So then the next time I talk to them about something serious, they'll think that I'm trying to fool them or whatever. But it's part of the game.

Yeah, it doesn't mean I don't lie to them. Yeah, I like the game a little bit, but not a lot. Yeah. No one was like, wow, you really convinced me that Colonel mustard did it with the knife in the cupboard. You're a liar. How are you doing in the game, Bruce?

Are you winning a lot? Oh, I mean, I'm like Kyle. So I, I never got the imposter. You don't get the, so I just have to hunt down people.

I probably win, let's say 60% of time 70 of the time which isn't bad so you're not worried your friends will think you're a good liar you're worried they'll learn that you're a good liar what are you so here's the thing you're kind of right um because i don't like i've had people express this to me they said like they've said like well hey i i know you can do this because of the game that we played. And I'm like, what? Like you thought about that after the game?

And it blew my mind. You're friends with bitches. Yeah, I mean, tax evasion is a whole different game. I was just really surprised by it, Kyle. Really, honestly, I was very, very surprised. My friends are all scumbags. They're all like, yeah. Even the one named Scum?

Yeah, Scum's the biggest scumbag of all of course he's he's so proud of it uh you know i'll do this thing where like and a lot of them have have done it too we'll be like look i swear to god it's midi you everyone vote midi out and if it's not midi next turn then vote me out then vote me out and midi's just like why are you doing you doing this? It's not him. I'm just picking on him. I'm just picking on him. And it's not me either. I'm just being a piece of shit. The bad people is a good offense. So if you're always accusing

people of lying, you know. Do they vote you out next time? Yeah, they do. I tried that last night. Also, again, I've had people come to me being like, why did you kill me? Why did you get rid of me? I was like, well, because you were so fucking suspect. And they were upset about it after the game. And I I like, I, again, I've had people come to me being like, why did you kill me? Why did you like get rid of me? I was like, well,

because you were so fucking suspect and they were upset about it after the game. And I was like, I was like, I thought this is just a game we're playing. Yeah. You need new friends. These guys are,

these guys are lame. He's got a plan. Yeah. Yeah. It's just something that like, I, I didn't even think about the more that you play these games. Like there's like secret Hitler and there's mafia and werewolves.

Those, those games are so much fun, but I never thought of it that way until people came to me. I've been playing Secret Hitler for 34 years, my friend. I'm a master of that one. For Kyle, it's a way of life. You ever see the boys from Brazil? Yeah.

He helped produce it. I was going to say, you should play with people from prison, Kyle. Oh, man. I don't want to should play with people from prison, Kyle. Oh, man. I don't want to play anything with people from prison. You think they have a good mic setup? They're great at spades and Monopoly. That's their game. They've got to be good at lying, though, right?

Clearly not. They're in fucking prison. The good liars are walking the street. That's a good point. that's a really good point um i also do yeah i did that flight simulator stream uh yeah have you guys played microsoft flight simulator at all i know what he's played a good bit oh man it's it's so much fun what do you what do you think of it i really loved it at first and i've it's not a game right it's a flight it's a simulator and it's a different thing.

And at first, I kind of just went to different places, saw different sites, pyramids, Grand Canyons, et cetera, et cetera. Usually I hold a pole. My chat determines where we go. And after a while, it's like, all right, so I did that now. I can do barrel rolls and loops. I'm so glad you're saying this. What do I do next?

Because that game is so fucking lame lame that game is so fucking lame like like like like i'm sorry to anybody who loves the game i'm not saying you're lame like like it's fine to like lame things but the game is lame the game is all simulator games are lame by the way in my all of them all in the truck driver simulator but it's it's it it's a it's a white trash job and you're and you're like sitting at your four thousand dollar computer paying sixty dollars to like pretend to do it for a little while that must be so insulting to actual truck drivers right like like absolutely it's it's it's absurd the whole thing is i mean i have truck drivers in my family i They don't give a fuck.

They're not like, hey, people are scaling our job for pretend. Do they know that? I just imagine some long haul... No, the last thing they want to do is play work simulator. It just doesn't make sense to me because I like the idea of flying to the places. I think if i played the game

i'd be on the same page as woody like man this was really fun for the first three or four times especially people watching you play it and you're telling you where to go and then you're going there that sounds fun for a little while but the idea of just like doing a flight check and flipping all the switches and and hitting the knobs and i mean it's a real fucking plane and it's a good game so of course the thing has fucking autopilot not like not all of them but that i wanted so uh flight simulators are really really complicated thing right the what they've done in modeling the weather and the icing and the problems really potential outs and stuff is amazing like it's it is a feat of engineering to recreate flying and weather and planes in in this game i'll call it you know this simulator having said that like oh cool so like the pre-flight checks are really in depth like where's the fun again i'm i'm struggling to find some of the fun

sometimes the i think the fun because i i feel by by the way, I agree with all of you. That's the reason we did the LA to Dubai flight for 17 hours, like in that cockpit. Because to me, it's not fun. Like to me, it's like you're just sitting there hanging out and letting the plane fly itself on autopilot. It was basically just chatting in costume. That's what made it good. That's a podcast. That was a 17- hour podcast you did there.

Hey guys, I'm doing a flight simulator right now. I'm pretending. See? This whole podcast, you won't see my hands doing it, but I'll be... I'm going to put her on autopilot, boys. There we go. We're flight simulating this whole podcast. You know what a good simulator

is? I haven't played it, but people suggested it to me and i looked it up on youtube it's surgery simulator and you have to perform surgery on people and the controls are very it's not so horrible controls that it's like whoa i'm flinging the spleen around but it is hard enough that if you genuinely really really try you're probably still going to fuck it up and there's gonna be be a lot of blood and panicking and like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, like killing people.

Is it multiplayer? I don't know. I don't know how it would be. Because I'll tell you how it would be. Like, you know, in a regular surgery, you've got a couple of surgeons there, right? Or at least a surgeon and a couple of nurses. You know, the guy who's always asking for suction

or some gauze or sponges or asking for the instruments like if i nick an artery i'm gonna need you to clamp that bitch off yeah and then you're just gonna see like arms coming in like missing and not able to seal the hole that one sounds like fun doesn't it see i like games that do things i can't do in real life i can you can't fly yeah what there's a plane can you can you not a 747 why would i want to fly like a jumbo jet that's the bus of the sky dude i'm glad you said that my chat was constantly asking me to fly bigger and bigger planes and it's like we want that we're trying to see my house what do you think i could do in a 747 going by? First of all, it flies super fast.

It's hard to go low. It's hard. It's like 600 miles per hour. 600 miles per hour. They want to see you crash, Woody. They want to see you crash. That's why. That is an area where the simulator sucks.

Yep. It does. It does. I need a fiery mess. I need parts flying everywhere. If it's a jumbo jet, lots of screams on the way down, right? I want to hear cups and the fish or chicken, whatever they chose rattling in the back.

That would be great. Imagine that. If the tray tables all fell and the people shrieked and the chicken came flying down the aisle and maybe some fucking mashed potatoes hits the screen. And then fiery explosions. Blood. Lots of blood.

Going everywhere. Blood. Lots of blood. That would be really cool. Flight simulator action. I want hijacking attempts. Yes. That would be fun, too.

And you have to fight back. You know what? They're trying to get in behind you. And I'm the pilot. And Taylor's the co-pilot. I'm like, you got to hold them off, them off man you gotta hold them off while i settle down i'm gonna be your air marshal on that plane so that when you get hijacked i could be the guy standing at the cockpit that's that's the right role you don't have to do anything 95 of the time

and you start 100 of the time what if air marshals ever done anything it's a very expensive job where you just fly around all the time it'd be funny to have air marshal simulator and it's just getting to your flight on time all the time yeah yeah in the front man this is even better than pre-check i hate des moines so much oh i failed the background check because of a clerical error. Time to go to T-Hall. You know what? If you fly Jumbo Jets, are you in charge of like giving out drinks and candies and like treats to people?

The pilot doesn't do that. I know, but you know how you can like tap like LB and stuff to switch characters in some games? I don't know. If maybe you can be like, all right, I'm going to go.

It's time for the first round of drinks, but ah, you know what? This is level four. You got to be like, all right, I'm going to go. It's time for the first round of drinks. But, ah, you know what? This is level four. You've got to handle a disgruntled, wasted customer. How do you handle that? How do you do this? I do like how you change. Like you throw the ball as a quarterback and then you flip it

and you catch it as the receiver. It totally needs to be that. Hire me, Microsoft. I'll make this way more fun. No, hire all of us. I just don't like simulators what i would say is like i can literally there's an airport very very close to me i can go there i can i can get in a plane i can pay for an hour or two hours of flight lessons that they're cheap and i'll get to fly some fucking twin engine cesna for as much as i want do do stuff with it they

don't just make you fly let you fly in a straight line. I've done it before. We banked hard and stalled it out. I've done the same thing. It's fun. It was really fun. For the amount of money, it's a cool gift idea. Honestly, if you've got a girlfriend or a significant other or a friend who's into that sort of thing.

We did it because my cousin Scott was so afraid of flying air travel and we were having to drive all around the country to film videos. I was like, we did it because my cousin scott was so afraid of flying air travel and we were having to drive all around the country to film videos so i was like we'll get him get him a flight lesson and then he'll be he'll like be master of his domain and he almost he was ready to literally fist fight as we were trying to get him out of his house to go take the flight he was like get the fuck out of my house get the fuck out i'm not going and we kind of acted like we were going to grab him he's he's like let's go motherfuckers i'll knock you both the fuck out

let's go and i'm like i don't think he's kidding let's just go uh i'll fly i'll fly could have taken him no no wait so he didn't go he didn't go and no i went i went i used his two hours had a ball and we couldn't drive around the country so he didn't go and he didn't know. No, I went. I went. I used his two hours, had a ball, and we came to drive around the country. So he didn't overcome his fear. I was worried. He never overcame the fear. No. He'll never fly.

But you can't. Did you need to travel with a lot of weapons for that? That wouldn't have been a problem? A lot of times what we would do is like if we were going there, like some trips we were going somewhere where the weapons were already there. We're going to shoot somebody else's thing. Especially if a tank. There was a time we drove all the way to the other side

the shit. New Mexico. Not Texas. Fucking all the way to New Mexico. From northeast Georgia. Got in somebody else's tank and made a video and then drove back. Oh wow. We could have flown there in three and a half hours. Filmed it in a day and then drove back oh wow we could have flown there in three and a half hours filmed it in a day and a half flown back it could have been a three-day trip instead it's like a

week a week he's like john madden yeah he's absolutely i love your truck when you do that that's that's what happens to me like if i take like three grown men some materials some luggage and put it in a truck and then run that truck for like i'm making it up 40 hours straight there and then 40 hours straight on there are many things in my life that are that good you know if i ran my dishwasher that hard it'd probably break it like everything around me is like consumer bullshit but cars they're like commercial quality kind of like they they're good things yeah it made me really appreciate that's uh i bought that uh that that second silverado just for those trips because we were going to visit the guy who like invented tannerite and like dan tanner and uh he was like you know if you drive

up here because we're trying to figure out like how he's going to ship me more explosives. Because there was some sort of limit on how much he could ship at a time. And shipping was expensive when you're shipping that stuff in these big 100-pound boxes. And he was like, you know, if you could just get up here, you could have as much as you could carry back. And I went out the next day and bought a truck. And drove up there and filled the back of it up like completely full of explosives and drove back could you bring that can you imagine across the border do they ask you there are like like any state border i guess yeah yeah and you're just like they're explosives and he's like okay

bye is that well they're not explosives that's that's ammonium nitrate if someone shot the back of your truck it would make international news it would have um i don't know how much was in the back of that truck but i would guess 1500 pounds maybe 2000 but maybe a ton like like completely full in the back of um you know a short bed pickup truck like all the way to the top like i got a bed cover like one of the ones that like tilts up with the hydraulic arms and everything bags or like in bricks boxes boxes boxes with bags within the bat within the boxes if you get in an accident that's it right like the whole nothing happens nothing happens oh nothing oh okay all right all right no it has to be mixed up um to be got it reactive and a car accident wouldn't set it off yeah even if it were yeah it even it takes a pretty good rifle like a 22 might not set it off 22 will not set it off it needs to be

going you know like 25 2800 feet per second something like that like rifle speed like five five six rifle a hammer won't do it um heat won't do it uh you really need to shoot it with like a real rifle how big of an explosion have been had to shoot it with like a real rifle how big does that explosion have been had someone hit it with like a rifle round like how so to turn a turn the cab to turn the cab of a pickup truck like inside out takes less than 20 pounds okay and this was a ton this was like a this was a ton so this was what a thousand times more than that uh well a hundred times not quite a hundred times bigger than that yeah so um you know crater in the ground the truck is unrecognizable you're probably dead oh probably you know like jeremy and i were mixing up a charge one time and we were using some stuff that's made by tanner tannerite but it's their

better stuff it's the stuff that is reactive to a 22 caliber bread it's got a lot of ingredients mixed in there to make it hotter no it was that's a completely different product that you're thinking of that's good shit too that's real good shit too i we did the math one time about how much more powerful it was per tannerite you know the. And I think it's like 15 or 20 to one. So a pound of it is like 15 or 20 pounds of Tannerite. So a pound will blow up the inside of a car. And we've got about 25, 30 pounds of it on the back of this pickup truck. And we're duct taping gas, gasoline cans to either side, five gallons on each side of it. And we're really racking the duct tape. But we've gone through like eight rolls of the thick, heavy duty stuff.

Because we want the thing about those types of explosives, like the tighter you can squeeze them together, the more of the fuel gets burnt rather than scattered by the initial blast. And we're wrapping this thing up. And Jeremy's like, you know, in his broken fucking English. Oh, man, it wouldn't be good at all if it went off would it i was like don't worry jimmer you'll never know if it does you and you wouldn't you wouldn't it would have turned us inside out it would have it wouldn't

have vaporized this is this isn't star trek but it would have blown us into pieces that you could throw into a garbage bag yeah well i mean it kind of would have vaporized you, right? Like it'd be a bunch, a lot of you would be missed. Yeah, parts of it would be gone. There'd be some vapor, but, you know, there'd be chunks too, big chunks, arms and legs would be laying around. Fissura. Semi-open.

Test this to know for sure. You know, I've blown up some animals. I promise you, there's not much left yeah we filled up uh i feel like you're going i i think there's less like you're like there'd be chunks at 1500 pounds are we still in 1500 oh i was talking about that charge that jeremy and i were wrapping up on the tailgate all the gasoline and everything at 1500 pounds i don't know man i don't know if you're what you're finding they wouldn't even know person was there yeah no i yeah okay but you're absolutely right it would have made national fucking news if something like that went off but it was completely safe to do what we were doing

because it was unmixed non-reactive it was right it was fine and then if that would have happened at the time can you imagine all of us view whoring off your death being like oh man oh kyle what a man what a guy you know reviews on that machine yeah hell yeah i wouldn't blame anybody do it up soon see if i die taylor please do a twitch stream with me in the title of remembrance in the title you'll be in the video propped up all right tonight we're gonna make we're gonna mock hoarders also r.i.p woodster but anyway get a load of this gross bitch like yeah if i die i want you guys to what do you do a twitch stream for me and i want it to be in very poor taste oh there'll be a stuffed owl wait why a stuffed owl everybody says i look like an owl it's been going on for

about about 10 years that i have an owlish round head uh i don't think you did my fans way back in like 2012 started calling me owlish i came up i thought i came up with a very round head i thought it was the eyebrow you have like a distinctive left eyebrow with a little extra little jazz in there and now i'm getting older like i thought that eyebrow increased that thicket increased like starting at 65 you know because you see old people with those like really close to death eyebrows and like i used to just get this flip this is just extra hair that grows up and now i'm starting to get both i'm starting to look like uh who is who's that guy from uh uh uncle fester i'm starting to get uncle fester eyebrows so now

it's the point where when i go get my hair cut the lady doesn't even ask it's just right over the eyebrow she doesn't know i would say michael keaton michael keaton had those eyebrows he had those cool like batman especially yeah yeah he had really had them that's right now he's really old i wish we could combine forces taylor because like my hair has done pretty well with balding but my eyebrows are half gone right they're they only go to like here i've got eyebrow thinning look at that you're losing your eyebrows well they're actually turning blonde like they're there i can pull them you gotta dye those eyebrows yes i've drawn them oh wait wait what's that shit steven did where he like sprayed his hair and he wasn't bald for a

little bit do you know what i'm talking about who did that steven miller um he took a lot of heat for it he's in politics a little mascara i know it looks like he like used shoe polish on his head like it was painted right yeah those spray bottles that have actual hair in them that shoots hair into your other hair and then like it that's not a thing i have never seen those things where they literally spray paint their bald spots this guy used it he used to be a thing he um he's in the trump administration i'm not trying to do politics but he did it this is the hair like uh and and to his credit he backed off and owned the baldness you know that's the way to go but uh you can definitely see the hair transformation i need that shit for my

eyebrows right just a just a little bit on the sides paint it in just do just for men just do the little comb the just for men comb then it'll be really dark black jack has the product you need in the other room i'd like to do it on the show which product is mascara mascara you know the thing they do their eyelashes with it's's dark brown or dark, you know, whatever color her eyelashes are, you know, and you can just brush it through them and it'll color them. Woody, are you willing to fill in those eyebrows?

It's a stream idea, kind of. Just make the title I mascarade my eyebrows, see who comes by to watch. It's just like one of those thick ones all the way way overboard i i my stream titles are all jokes but i don't tell the punchline you have to go in and type exclamation point joke to see the punchline and it's just a it's my idea of clickbait you know like what did the bra what did the closed brothel tell to the patreon

exclamation point joke for punchline and the idea is they stop in they want to know i want i hope it works yeah yeah i i should start putting riddles i saw hutch i forget what his title was it was like does this beard make me look old or is my beard too shaggy i saw that i saw that title yeah and i was like well i gotta see it you know i need to know so that's that's where the idea came from i'm gonna have the title uh rip kyle the explosion in his truck he was a he was a better man before or whatever kyle is dead oh every title now for from now on i think he'd approve even if kyle's alive, I don't think it would matter, right? Not at all. He's a capitalist

and he does not have a problem with you making money. No, I like it. I really want to see you put your eyebrows on. Kyle's giving the tips. They're trying to get you to do it right now. I don't know if you want to.

No, you do you. I'm just saying that'd be the ticket. You've already got the product there at home and it would style them right up. I trim mine. I pull up and anything that extends up I get the... I just trim it off.

I could shave it down and mail you my excess. That's what he wants. Bruce, if you don't know, I could shave it down and mail you my excess hair. Oh, that's what he wants. Yeah. So, Bruce, if you don't know, I have a special needs son. He's autistic. And one of the ways, if he sees a flaw on you, you can't let it grow. You know, if you have a pimple or something, it's right at you.

There's a pimple. It's right there by your jaw. You need to address it, whatever. I have one eyebrow hair that instead of growing sideways like all the others seems to grow straight forward i have that too oh do you i have that i have one that guy one white and i always i have to shave it every like week colin plucks it without permission and i'm trying to teach him boundaries and such but he's just like oh oh no I can I cannot

I wish and he doesn't always get it first time right like he'll pull it and he's got like four eyebrows and he's like oh it's still there Colin's the culprit Colin's the culprit of your thinning brows alright we'll solve the mystery right now

I was just thinking about this you're like Colin will walk over and pull it I was just thinking about this. You're like, Colin will walk over and pull it. I was just thinking about anyone on earth walking over and pulling my eyebrow. I cannot imagine what would make me more furious. I would be irate if somebody walked over and grabbed my face in a way. I would be so mad. We need to keep you guys separated because he doesn't understand that boundary.

I can't come into a personal space like that. Do you get ear hair? I don't really get ear hair. I haven't gotten ear hair yet. I've seen a couple. Nose hair is the problem right now. I pluck them all. I pluck nose hair. I pluck the nose hair.

And I pluck the ear hair. I have an outstanding ear hair strategy. As the ear, these very fine ear hairs sometimes come like as feathers or wings on the edges or maybe in the middle. But my eyesight is getting worse. So they're really not there. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right.

I get like long black hairs like on the little dangly bottom part of my ear. I'll get like three there. And I usually I remember to check them. You know, every week I check and I boink those things out and then I'll get them inside my ear too. And I can't abide that. So I usually get someone else if I can to like get in there with some tweezers and get them all. They really hurt. What I. I use

an electric shaver and I just hit the ear or something and take it out. Anything that was up gets shaven down and that's how it is. They're really fine. It's not pretty. Go ahead, Drew. I was going to say, do you guys have those long black hairs on your penis? Have you guys seen those? There's a couple

of them. Like pubic hair? No, on the shaft of the penis. Right on the head. Like coming out of the hole. Not on the head. Not on the mushroom tip. No, like halfway up the shaft where the circumcision

occurred. Do you have those? Do you have the black hairs? I shave down there. I don't do that yeah i don't do that i don't do that at all i use the beard shaver to just keep it all like tidy looking you know i don't i have pubic hair but i don't have a bush yeah without the hair you're way less sweaty when you're doing activities and that's a big benefit to it in addition to being more pleasant for your girlfriend to suck your dick well Well, sure, yeah. But if she doesn't mind, then whatever.

Then it saves you a couple minutes in the shower, right? Yeah. This is Kyle the other week was like, what you got to do, Taylor and Woody, nair for men. And I like went in there and I was like going to trim up. And I started with like, you know, the hair that's not quite pubic hair, but not belly hair. It's like in no man's. It's the dn or the dn drive zone yeah and i was like i'll test it here so i put it on and i was reading the warnings and they're very stern on that packaging where they're like leave it on at least two minutes retard but don't you fucking dare leave it on

for more than 10 you better have a timer or or leave it on for 10 you're in trouble yeah 10 is the absolute most and it's not well the absolute most they recommend to stay on five is all you want buddy five i didn't go i think i went four or five minutes and then i hopped in the shower and it was like let the water kind of run for a minute or two and get the excess off and i did that and then just one little like wipe of my fingers on my that lower area gone just like a as dennis would say a turtle shell so it's yeah i was i was too afraid like put it on my scrotum or anything because that seems scary i don't know you're not supposed to jump on there don't use it on your genital skin on the way tv commercials that the women used to nair i thought

they used razors with it it seemed like like it was shaving it's a cloth he's a scraper yeah it's like a squeegee or squeegee that's exactly so what i do uh i put it everywhere i get i get wet first like like slightly damp and then i put it everywhere that i want the hair to be gone and then i set a timer on my phone that means business you know sometimes you set a timer you're like oh means business. You know, sometimes you set a timer and you're like, oh, it went off. Well, I'll wait till the commercial. No, no, no. Like you're better off if you do it today for two minutes and then you come back tomorrow at the next shower. Try two more minutes than trying to go four minutes today because the burns, it's literally a chemical burn on some of your most sensitive areas right like like it is very painful did you learn this the hard way it sounds like i burned the shit out of myself my

nipples were glowing how permanent is it i mean it's uh it's it lasts longer than shaving because it melts the hair down like below your skin no it is permanent that's why that's why we call them cherry nips in private but it's not damaging the follicle or anything it's just sort of melting hair away yeah it's melting the hair away it doesn't damage the follicle the hair does grow back but the thing is you don't get ingrown hairs because you don't have that razor like jacking up your skin and uh and you don't get cuts you know from a razor because if you know there's some areas that are a little difficult to shave but uh but i i i i i narrow a lot of areas down there i like to get everything nice really and cleaned up yeah oh yeah get the

asshole get the balls that's scary yeah yeah oh it's scary that's what i'm talking about all right you never saw the buzzer go off in an nba game and they're like i give it three more seconds no the game over the game is over you better have your washcloth your scrub that that you're going to use the scrub with ready to go you better have that water already flowing you don't you don't say all right two minutes let's turn the shower on now and get it to warm up you know it needs to be ready it's go time because you have a caustic chemical on your junk. You got to get in there and scrub, boy. It's serious stuff. I've burnt

myself severely. There's got to be a safer way. There is. Just use an electric razor like Woody said. That's the easiest way to do this. Get that curled up ball skin sucked into an electric razor one time and you'll change your fucking mind.

I cut my scrotum on an electric razor once. What? You did? It was honestly just being lazy, just wanting to get it done, and then you go on too aggressive of a shave path, and then all of a sudden you're and then

you're in the shower, and for the initial feeling of water like you know when you get a cut you're like oh this water isn't gonna feel good yeah it's just new your sack stings no fun so yeah i'm no i'm very meticulous with a razor looking i'm sorry i'm not going for baldness although i that's fine if that's your goal i'm just going for someone who was born with a better hair pattern than I was. Exactly. There's someone out there who just naturally has a very tidy looking cock. And it's not me. I have to work to get there.

Yeah. I just think if she's going to be down there licking around and putting things in her mouth, she doesn't want to be pulling hairs out of her teeth and stuff like that. So I had to get that whole area. It's gentlemanly care up. It is gentlemanly. Oh, but I really liked the near for men. Seriously though.

It, it, um, it, especially for like, like big areas of hair. Like it's, it just gets gone.

It's instantly one swipe and you're like, holy shit. Like, like it's perfect. It's, it, and it's kind of fun just to do it in in terms of hair preference i maybe this is my own hang-up but i associate baldness with like

prepubescent and fuck yeah i'm with you it's so hot yeah yeah i hear you okay no i'm with i'm with woody on this one one. And that's why it's always confusing to me. Like, why would you want it completely bald? I don't know that you'd want it completely bald because to me that just feels strange. Yeah, it's hotter to me when there's a little bit of like, I don't know, I don't hurt in there. What is this?

You can see on More Plates, More Dates chest where he burned himself by leaving Neron. Like you can see in the thumbnail. That looks awful. That's what my nipples look like. Look how angry his nipples look. It's in the thumbnail, but not in the video, it seems. It's a 225

in the video. It's a quick little shot. But he doesn't take his shirt off, I don't think, and show it. Probably after the fact. But either way, it looks like he fell off a bike and landed chest road rash yeah a little bit of road that's what it looks like it's very very painful looking in the wrong place yeah the picture's in the thumbnail just as good as on the video itself if you guys showed it is is is near for men and they for near for women the same thing

i don't know i would i would imagine there for men is stronger i would guess never won the same thing i don't know i would i would imagine never men is stronger i would guess it's the same thing but that they know that male consumers aren't going to purchase a female direct product it is a more manly looking bottle it is a more manly looking bottle it's got a pump on the top and it's like uh it's like gray and blue like yes yeah yeah i have a question a picture of a guy with a six-pack on there very manly very yeah it sounds real manly to see a shirtless dude on your can bruce's butt cream it's good stuff i have this question i get asked all the time and i have the answer to it but i'm curious to see what you guys say okay when you shave or nair does your hair

come back thicker no i think that's a wives tale yeah so it is an old wives tale but it it i promise you it has come back thicker on me every single time i've shaved my body hair every age doesn't it get thicker with age or is that i'm making that up well no i mean like i shave it and then it comes back in a few i don't know now there's i've had explanations for this effect right that like if when it grows out slowly that it can get blonde to some extent the tips can be lightly colored um it has a uh over time the tip of it gets sort of soft and not strong whereas if you were to shave it now it's like a sharpened point of a hair and it comes back prickly so you have a darker prickly hair that feels bigger and this gives the impression

thickness but not necessarily actually more hair and thicker hair are you a hairy guy bruce incredibly hairy and i have been shaving every single day since i was 14 my man he shaved today actually i lost i've lost that battle over and over that's why i'm like with nair and all that shit i'm like fuck it that's that's that's insane i have it's time for electrolysis bro i mean at this point or lasers maybe but i like the body. What's wrong with the body hair? There's nothing wrong with it. There's not a damn thing wrong with it. You would say that. That's like, Oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, protect me in jungle. Now for an opinion on body hair, we're going to Mike the orangutan. Get out of here. It's not to be like Kyle's. Taylor, Kyle's jealous is what it sounds like.

Oh, I'm so happy to be. After the show the other day, I took my button off and had a tank top on, and Taylor was like, do you shave your chest? No. That's how little body hair I have. You can't even see it.

It does seem more convenient, but I really don't. I don't know any other way to be other than just being hairy, so I don't really mind. As long as it's – I did once. I shaved my armpits just to see, and this was probably – I think it was college, and the amount of sweat reduction, not shave with a razor, just like, you know,

where you take a clipper and put like a number two on there and you just zip, zip. I sweat 10 times less. I've never done it since probably an oversight, but, uh, do you sweating the same amount?

It's evaporating more effectively. That makes sense as well. Why does that make sense? It seemed like there'd be less surface area with the hairs removed. The hair, the hair, the hairs are all here. It's like making it clean and onto it. And that, and? It seemed like there'd be less surface area with the hairs removed. The hairs are all hanging on to it. It's like, you know, think about if it was your head, right?

If you got a shaved head, it's going to dry right off. If you got a big head of hair, it's going to stay all it's going to stay wet for a long time. I know Bruce gets the same thing. I know Woody does too. Kyle, you may. You never grow your beard out that much. I can't count the number of times i've like stepped on my beard hair or touched it and gotten a splinter like on accident where it just stabs into that is your

beard hair like that when you let it get long kyle no no mine's all gross and a lot of it's blonde so it looks even worse it's uh yeah it's terrible i have like a long like thick dark beard hair on my sink it looks like it's a hair from an animal with a way bigger follicle is this vac hair yes oh my god yeah i don't really mind i i think you should grow out a mustache kyle a mustache the rest clean because you would look so much like a cop. No, see, I've got the anti-Hitler, though. Like, it doesn't grow in there.

Oh, it doesn't grow in the middle? Oh, fuck. Well, you need one for that. Mascara. You just cut one wet black patch in the middle of your mustache. That's good. Maybe I'll put on a big fake cop mustache for Halloween or something. Maybe I'll do a Tom Selleck or something like that, but I can't grow one.

I can't. Really? Not even if you try? It just doesn't look good. What if you tried really hard? What if you tried really hard? I mean, like, waiting it out. Waiting it out for six months. Oh, I shit myself again.

This is not working. Yeah, no, it just doesn't grow in well it doesn't look good it's thin it's patchy it's it's it's it's and not keanu reeves patchy which is like sexy he's like oh look he's got those bald patches here and here they're distinctive like no just like everywhere patchy like i've got leukemia keanu reeves beard sucks i don't know why it does suck it's terrible people don't give him a hard enough time for it he should know that he shouldn't have that well he doesn't give a shit clearly like i mean like he he was you know he'll go and sit on a park bench and eat a sandwich and

be sad like it's clear that he doesn't care what people think of him uh in his in his public life which is kind of interesting and he is just showered with adulation and praise and manages to brush all that off well brave how amazing he's the most loved man on the planet right now he's so deserved deserving of it you know he's uh i'm not saying he's not a great guy only that like i don't know who's widely hated and despised, you know, like, uh, actors who are hated are Kelly. Oh, the guy who played,

uh, uh, Anakin Hayden Christensen. Everybody hates Hayden Christensen. I'd like to see him brush it off. And like, that would be more impressive to me than Keanu Reeves, the most beloved actor,

uh, eating on a park bench by himself. I like how Bruce is like, do people hate him? And it's like, no, we'll take our own opinions. And everyone thinks that, do people hate him? And it's like, no. We'll take our own opinions and everyone thinks that.

Do you know a story about Keanu Reeves' wife? Yes, I do. I don't think so. She died, I believe, in a car accident in like 2001. And he didn't date anyone for almost 20 years. Like he just has started dating a woman. And you might be thinking like, ho ho,

I'd like to see who Keanu Reeves is dating. I bet he's got a young star. He's dating a lady who's his age, who's an attractive, wonderful lady, I'm sure. But she's his age. He's not pulling a Tom Cruise where he divorces his wife every time they get to 33. He's not pulling that move.

That's pretty alpha. That's so fucking insane that he does that and for anyone who doesn't know tom cruise has three wives he has divorced them all as soon as they turn 33 years old at 33 exactly yeah i didn't i didn't know that right when they start to rot oh no they've been going bad for 30 years wow they're like those bananas used for banana bread they're still good for something at 30 okay okay i guess true i'm gonna go back to i want to go back to woody because it sounds like woody hates keanu reeves he's the only person in the world that doesn't like keanu reeves no i do like

keanu reeves i think he's actually a really good guy deserving of a lot of the love that he gets now i just think he's not deserving of this he's so brave mantle that you handed him you know like i didn't i didn't give him any i never said he's the only guy in the world he's the only guy in the world who doesn't care what people think of him you know who else was a coward go on you know who else was a coward woody that robin williams fella yeah let's open that one back up no no it's i i genuinely think keanu is pretty great he seems to do a lot of great things i think i'd like the dude if we were somehow friends i just don't see him as like shrugging off public opinion as one of his things that he does so well he's

his public opinion is universally positive it didn't used to be it didn't used to be so back when sad keanu wasn't like a meme that that it wasn't a thing back then he wasn't universally loved like he is now because you're right what do you like now it's like this like weird has mania has taken over it's a meme to love him yeah it is a it is a meme to love him and it didn't used to be um and before he was just sad and homeless but also i mean he always looked homeless but also he's like always done a lot of nice things that have been under the radar like the whole paying the the matrix reloaded crew it was like something like two million bucks he gave him all a bonus oh i didn't know about that

he took it out of his salary yeah yeah out of his own Oh, I didn't know about that. He took it out of his salary. Yeah. Yeah. Out of his own paycheck. And people didn't know that for until years later. What a hero. I really is an awesome guy. Like, dude, like, like, like I think he seems to effortlessly be just really cool. Nice, genuine, honest, and like good at all the things he does. Like whether it's jujitsu or comp you know firearm stuff or his beard oh yeah it's a shit beard it's not good and you know what usually i never notice because i know like he's like some part of him is asian and until someone pointed that out to me i

never once noticed in this photo though you can tell a little bit the one i linked that he does look were you the same way? The first time you saw Keanu Reeves, did you know he was Asian? I think I've always known for one reason or another, yeah. You know, Scum's half Asian. My friend Scum was in the Hangouts, yeah. I got a bad radar for that, I guess.

Yeah, I want to say he's half. I wouldn't have guessed that for either him or Keanu. Now I feel bad about ripping on his beard. Yeah, right? That's a powerful Asian beard. That's a pretty good Asian beard. That's a Grizzly Adams over in China.

What's the other half? Jewish? How do you manage that? I thought he was like Hawaiian or something. Islander? I could be wrong. I'm not sure. Maybe that's the Asian side because Pacific Islanders, they're like Asian. He's too pale for? Islander? I could be wrong. I'm not sure. Maybe that's the Asian side because Pacific Islanders they're like Asian. He's too pale for Pacific Islander.

Yeah, but he's not too... I don't fucking know, man. What race is he? What race is Keanu Reeves? How chunky is Keanu? Oh, you were right. He was born in Honolulu, Hawaiian, Portuguese, and Chinese descent.

Mixed with English. Okay. Wow. And damn, he looks great for being 56. Yeah, he's the perfect man. That, yeah. He's tremendous. I'm looking forward to the new Matrix movie.

I hope they do something good. How was Bill and Ted's excellent adventure? Oh, I didn't like the first one, so I'm not going to watch the new one. The first one was great, and it wasn't just because I was nine. It was? No, I haven't watched it since the late 90s, and it holds up. I probably will. They're just silly movies, and if you want to see a silly, goofy movie,

then you'll like it, but it's not the kind of thing that I love. I thought the first one was great. The second one, I guess, was better than not going to the movies. And focus, focus, journey. Yeah, I guess. I know. I remember sitting Indian style at my friend Alex's house watching that movie on their big screen TV, which was like a shitty ass big screen at the time. And just being like,

we are witnessing history. This is one of the best, funniest movies I've ever seen in my entire life. Speaking of the best, funniest movies of all time, I've always been a huge fan of Borat. I saw that in theaters. I was 20,

20 years old. And it was at the time. It just, it blew me away at how funny it was. They've already filmed Borat 2 in secret somehow. Really? Yeah, and they're editing it.

That's huge. I didn't know that. That's fucking amazing. He's so famous, though, that I feel like it's getting difficult for him to do that thing. It's been long enough since the first borat that like you know young people don't know who borat is and you know he's in costume it's not lucky sasha barricona and he's fucking borat you're right yeah i might be the odd one but to me borat's

more famous than sasha barricona like if he was in the borat costume especially the big pink or green lime green mankini thing he had going on, I would absolutely recognize him. But the actor who plays him, like he does so much stuff in costume. It's like the actor is not that famous to me. That's an even better. Yeah, that's how I should have said it. You said it better. Like, yeah, if anybody sees Borat, they've at least seen a meme of him.

Like they know who he is. Did you see it alone, Kyle? I saw it with my dad, and I've never laughed harder at a movie with my dad. It was me and my two roommates. I was 19 or 20, and they were like 24, 25. They had introduced me to the Ali G show. They had downloaded it illegally off the internet onto their PC,

and we'd sit around and uh get drunk and watch the ali g show so like the best clips of borat and so i i already knew who borat was and what he was about and everything and like the movie was just about to come out and so we you know we went and watched it like that like a midnight showing maybe a 1 a.m showing like it was so late i remember that and yeah funniest thing i'd ever seen at the time I remember thinking like this is the funniest thing I've ever seen this is so fucking good it holds up too it's great when it begins you know they've got like they're in his village and they're having like this like parade where they're chasing the jew egg and they're all trying to like beat it with sticks before it hatches and you're just like oh my

fucking god amazing and he's jewish which makes it so much better it's it's it's great hey you have to respect that made-up kazakh culture the whole made-up kazakh culture that he makes like like he it's almost 100 fabricated like the nonsense that he's come up with or some of it is like a twist on actual kazakh culture because they do drink this drink there that is like fermented goat milk but borat drinks a drink that is fermented goat piss it's just it's awful it's it's really good shit do you remember though i went and saw remember it was Borat first, and then maybe something else. Then it was Bruno, where he was

like this flamboyant gay guy. Bruno did not get me. I didn't like Bruno on the Ali G show. I felt like a lot of Borat's appeal was like you could tell genuinely that everybody around is like, what the fuck is up with this guy? What's going on?

Bruno, he was so over the top that half the time in the scenes you could see other people start to pick up like oh this is like an impractical jokers episode this is just over the top silly it's not believable and now the people were supposed to be being punked are in on it the thing about borat is like he's almost you almost feel sorry for him if like americans are really accepting of outsiders, especially ones that look like him. They're like, oh yeah, this is our culture. Welcome to America.

I just remember there's one part where he's in a Southern dinner or something like that. He's in Alabama or Georgia, and he's at these rich people's home, and he's been invited to dinner, and he brings this big fat black prostitute as his date and she is dressed like a

$20 black prostitute and she is disgusting and then he asks if he can go to the bathroom and he leaves and goes to the bathroom and he comes back with a sandwich bag full of shit and asks what to do with it. And the woman who's like, it's her home.

She's just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, honey. Why are you? Why? You know, he's got sandwich bags, but he doesn't know how to. I got a sandwich bag full of shit. he's got sandwich bags but he doesn't know how to I must have gotten really lucky because I saw Bruno I saw Bruno in southern southern Texas with my best friend and we saw no joke we were in an empty theater with like let's say seven other people and as the because the movie Bruno

gets progressively gayer and gayer and eventually there's one part where they just show a giant penis head and it like, and it shouts Bruno at you. And, uh, we got to watch people walk away as the movie was going on. And eventually at the very last scene, when they kiss the two,

the two men are kissing in the UFC ring and people are like throwing in chairs and shit. We were the last people in the theater by that point. We were, we were losing our minds at how great it was. What movie did they think they were going to see i don't know i really i think they thought they were going to see borat 2 but it was fan it was so good it was it was exactly the way i should have seen bruno because all those people just hated it and we we loved it

we had a great time maybe i'll give it another go i haven't i've only seen that one once this has he done anything between then and now anybody well and i did the dictator yeah but that was like that wasn't like his that was a movie yeah it was like a bunch of pranks on like politicians or something yes he did so he did who is america and yeah who is america was sasha baron cohen like he's one of my favorite favorite comedians just because he's he's basically a genius like the shit he's doing is insane and him pranking like dick cheney and other he actually got people in to interview them and you know admit to like child porn allegations and shit like it's just it's fucking wild what he's doing but who's america wasn't funny it was just sad because he

got he would get people in and then they would admit to doing terrible shit is that and you're just like fuck i i'm not positive on this i felt like it was hyped up that it was going to be this like expose of who our politicians really are and then i saw it and i wasn't it was just like one percent more than i already knew like it kind of it kind of was like some of the people there that he had in were they were already shitheads like we already knew they were corrupt and so then when they when he exposes them and as corrupt on video you're kind of like yeah that's who they are already whoa breaking news politicians crooked yeah yeah um but it's still you know it's still pretty insane to see people that are in you know very high offices of power admitting to terrible terrible shit on camera and sometimes just laughing

it off so well i'm glad he's going back to pretending to be a kazakh guy from but it's mostly a made-up nation yeah me too you know it's one of the biggest countries in the world right i think it's the largest landlocked country. It's enormous. One of the biggest armies, too. Good for them. Good for Kazakhstan. What else are they good at? It's like a million men or something. They seem like they'd be good at wrestling.

There's different ways to measure an army, right? Like, biggest army. Okay, okay. I hear you. It's like, yeah, yeah, but they're 19th most guns. Also, biggest cavalry. it's like yeah yeah but you know they're 19th most guns you know 19th most guns they're just running out yeah they're just running out into the battlefield with nothing rocks and slingshot training today they must have been so i know they were mad about it

but like coming from you know us like i just was looking you know how they have like the human development index of like how good it is to live in a country okay kazakhstan is in the very high category and they portrayed them where they're like ah you live next to goat piss like and it's like they have to watch that like very electricity and antibiotics and everything we got roads weighs heavily on my opinion of a culture washing machines if they have like dishwashers and clothes washers women can be found anywhere that's pretty much first world in my mind like that like if their culture involves automated dishes and clothing washing

they're not a different place than us. They're kind of like us. Like, am I alone in that? Like measure a little bit. I don't know. I, to me,

like, like whenever I see pictures or footage of a Russian home or apartment, it just seems like so often they're, they're drapes, they're curtains, like they're wallpaper just looks like so often their drapes, their curtains, their wallpaper just looks like shit. It looks like the wallpaper from PUBG. It looks like...

I, too, judge my Chatterbait models that way. Yeah. It looks old and poor. This 20 tokens is going to mean a lot to her. Poor. Old and poor. This 20 tokens is going to mean a lot to her. Poor.

That's not a bad... You don't want to pick a chatterbait model who's rolling in it. She's never going to notice your dollar donation. Beautiful blonde from California. 20 tokens isn't going to shake her radar. But shake her radar. You got to pop into the amputee section. Oh, no. You just got to find some chick from like Warshaw, Poland,

who can't rub two nickels together. She'll do anything for 20 tokens. See, you got to go somewhere even different. Poland, also a very, very nice country. I made up statistics. What's even going on there? Oh, ancient cathedrals. Oh, they've been people for that okay you gotta find someone in like what's what's the poorest western country haiti haiti i think is the poorest western country is it and i say western because

like you got time zones to worry about yeah with this thing you're not going to be dancing clocks in haiti it'd be more difficult yeah i thought somebody's always dancing you don't have to worry about time zones i'll never forget like when they had that was it an earthquake or a tsunami or both that killed all those haitians or maybe a hurricane earthquake made a tsunami in the tsunami right i thought it was like a major tsunami in haiti i could be i just remember there were like lots of dead haitians and uh i saw this meme on uh i'm going to hell for this which is defunct now by the way reddit removed i'm going to hell for this because it was

too edgy i barely even use reddit anymore so there was this meme and they were throwing these these the bodies of these dead ha Haitian children into like a truck. Like there's so many. They're just like giving them the heave-ho, throwing them into big piles. And the meme was, they see me throw in the Haitian. Oh, my God. That's what I liked. And I could just hear the music when I read it.

It was just – I really craved it. It was an earthquake. And what was interesting, haiti and um the dominican republic were hit by almost the same earthquake people don't know it's an island and there's just a man-made border in the middle and um the building standards were different though like haiti didn't have any rebar so you shake the concrete a little bit and it crumbles like sand castles or something and um and dominican republic had better zoning and yeah and like uh have you ever seen the the top down photo of like the half that's dominican

republic and the half that's haiti so like apparently haiti when it got independence like sometime after that went through and like bulldozed huge amounts of trees just destroyed them and so now you see uh like dominican republic is very lush and green haiti not at all it's like that's why that's why when that hurricane happened i don't know how many years ago it decimated them years ago yeah 200 000 that it was like probably i think i think i think japan had more they had some crazy one, but like, that's probably like top tsunamis. And what happened was like, they, they were selling the lumber and some American companies came in and were like, that's a good price. We'll, we'll, uh, we'll take it.

We'll take it all. And they're like, what? All of the wood? Yes. All of the wood you have. And they were like, cool. And they cut down every fucking tree in the fucking country. So when the hurricane came, there's nothing to slow the waves down. It just wiped them clean. I hadn't even thought about the trees providing that much support against the waves.

That makes a lot of sense. At least keeping the ground from turning into mudslides. Where was there a hurricane? Haiti. Haiti had a hurricane as well. No, I think he's saying. I think. Yeah, this wasn't that long ago with the hurricane. Okay.

Oh, it's 2010 was the tsunami where the like 200,000 people died. Oh, it may have been the tsunami. It may have. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they get hit by all sorts of natural disasters down there. God doesn't like them. You can tell. Oh, no.

Japan's is wasteful. It was that the most deadly tsunami. That was Indonesia. By that logic, God doesn't think much of Florida. like them you can tell oh no japan's was wasteful it was that the most deadly tsunami that was indonesia by that logic god doesn't think much of florida that was like 2004 when that tsunami hit god definitely doesn't think much of florida i can't argue with it god i'm so glad i mean i feel like georgia is the most respectable southern state am i wrong about that i mean what do you name the states you consider southern states yeah i feel like north carolina trump's georgia am i crazy i don't count north carolina i don't count north carolina south did they put this confederate capital in north carolina i count i count north virginia i count

north carolina well if virginia's southern then how can North Carolina not be? We're not going by Civil War standards. Okay. I know that's modern history for you, but for the rest of us, it's been a while. As far as Southern states, I think of Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee. Kentucky. Kentucky. I was about to say, yeah, a little bit of Kentucky. South Carolina, probably. And South Carolina. And Florida is, a little bit of Kentucky. South Carolina, probably.

And South Carolina. And Florida is this weird in-between thing. Florida is its own thing. The coastal area is okay, but then inner Florida is swampy redneckville. It's like Louisiana's dirty cousin. It's gross in there. Panhandle's also southern.

Yeah, if you go down to Panama City. Like Jacksonville yeah I don't think of Missouri the people where I live don't consider Missouri southern the people where my grandparents live absolutely think of Missouri as southern I think immediately of southern Missouri

did you have slaves or not the Mason Dixon line ran through Missouri yes no question Taylorlor so you're saying both it was split yeah like st louis was more on the north and then like everything south of st louis was more would the northern missourians return the property to the southern missourians i have no idea i mean pretty much all missourians at the time were poor shit i don't know what they were doing that's like like there weren't like huge plantations in missouri the way they were in like georgia alabama i watched the

other day i watched fucking glory you ever seen glory or is great about the black civil war it's a civil war movie it's on netflix um it's got matthew broderick um he is uh like the colonel of the first african-american civil war I don't know how you do army. Battalion. Battalion. It's a lot of men, like a thousand men. Please tell me that Matthew McConaughey used blackface to portray his character.

All right, all right, all right, boss. I was freeing slaves way before it was cool. He went thunder on it. You got Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington. They're a couple of them. He said Matthew Broderick. Yeah, it's Matthew Broderick. My mistake.

It's Ferris Bueller. And you got Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, and then what's his name who played Wesley from Princess Bride? Carrie Ewells is also in there. Oh, Carrie Ewells is in there. And it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's a true story. That's great.

And based on how poorly it ends for everyone they must have stuck to the historical standard where do you see it like is it on netflix netflix right now yeah it was called glory glory glory it's uh you know it's an older movie uh morgan freeman doesn't have nearly as many spots it's only two hours i thought it was really long too why do we think it was long? Maybe it's slow. It's a little slow. It's a little slow. It takes them a while to get to the Civil War part, the fighting part, you know, because there's a lot of training and there's a lot of like, there's a lot of shit that happens before they actually get into the war.

But, you know, I felt real bad for those. Anytime I watch one of those movies, I'm like, I only have so much white guilt, but this is dragging a little more out of me. Like Denzel Washington's character, his feet are all bloody and blistered because they don't have fucking shoes. Like they won't give the black people shoes. And Matthew Broderick can't get them shoes. He's asked for them and they're like, ah, well, we're saving the shoes for more combat ready battalions and he's like fuck what am i gonna do these guys need shoes so denzel washington like runs away one night to go get some shoes there's a farmhouse a few miles away friendly people he's gonna try to barter for some shoes with them well they catch him and they

call him a deserter and they give him like 20 lashes. And Matthew Broderick's like, do your duty to the sergeant. And Denzel Washington takes his shirt off and his back is covered in lash mark scars, like just covered with them already. And he just stares at Matthew Broderick in the face and doesn't say a word

while they're giving him 20 lashes. And a tear is just rolling down his face while he like doesn't break this eye contact with matthew broderick and i'm just like fuck maybe tit'll do what so matthew broderick was okay with the lashing meaning he thought he was a deserter too yes yeah yeah he found out after the fact that it was about shoes. Morgan Freeman told him. And then Matthew Broderick goes and starts tearing apart the requisition department and makes them give them

their shoes. Yeah, there's a Washington's pain. It doesn't end great, but there was a moment where their feet recovered. Wait, the Civil War didn't end great? Did lots of people die? 600,000 people die? Yeah, I think.

Yeah, it's a pretty good movie as far as Civil War movies go. It's all right. I like all the actors in it, for one thing. I think that made me like it more. And Denzel Washington's really young. Morgan Freeman doesn't have quite as many spots on him so he's in his like he's only 60 i noticed i think that kyle really grades entertainment by the actors in it like he'll be more inclined to like something with a cast that he likes oh yeah whereas i kind of i don't

know start fresh i guess with each one and i don't have many actors or actresses with this is very few i like um natalie portman and Chris Pratt, but the list is small. I like Nick Cage despite myself. I've said it before. He makes me feel like I could do it. Leaving Las Vegas, he was tremendous in Leaving Las Vegas. He played that struggling alcoholic really, really well. But so many other ones, he's just terrible.

Raising Arizona, he was good. He's so good in Raising Arizona. I love that movie. He's probably the best in. There's a new movie with Nick Cage. I think it's even on Netflix. That's your customer net, baby. It's Color Out of Space.

Have you guys heard that or watched it? Oh, yeah. I watched it recently. So don't spoil it because I'm actually interested in watching this. Did you actually like it? No, it sucked. Do you want me to tell you why it's bad without spoiling it? Yeah.

All right, so Nick Cage is just a weird guy, man. I know. At the end, he's gone a little off, man. I know. Like at the, at the end, he's gone a little off and his acting is bizarre. And it really threw me for a loop. Not a good bizarre, like Mandy, a bad bizarre.

I just couldn't wrap my head around what was going on in his head. I knew he had gone pretty much insane and was under the influence of some alien forces, but he wasn't consistent with his insanity i don't know i will say this if you're high it'd be a cool movie to watch because there's a lot of there's a lot of colors there's a lot of crazy colors okay and it's it's kind of it's kind of crazy it's worth watching but i didn't love it i didn't like it even i would give it like a five out of ten but still worth watching, but I didn't love it. I didn't like it even. I would give it like a 5 out of 10,

but still worth watching because of what it is. Did you guys watch Tiger King? Of course. Oh, yeah. I love Tiger King. It was really funny. Nick Cage apparently just got cast as Joe Exotic. That's true.

He's perfect. He's perfect. Nick's already a little unhinged. That's great. And the Tiger King wasn't a good actor. He was bad at acting. He would always let his emotions get the best of it, or I guess that's going to be

difficult for Nick Cage to play. I hope Nick Cage doesn't ruin it. Like, he's a real chance he just plays Nick Cage and, I don't know, like, freaks out and does Nick Cage shit. Goddamn Carol Baskins. Do you think he's going to do the voice right with Carol Baskins? Is he going to hit the beats correctly? Is he going to hit Baskins. Do you think he's going to do the voice right with Carol Baskins? Is he going to hit the beats correctly?

Is he going to hit that Baskins? Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, I hope he does. That always pulls me out of movies when some character does an accent and it's like, dude, I can do that better than that. And they would not cast me to be a Kazakh

arms dealer or whatever the fuck like in lord of war that that movie is bad that movie i like lord of war come on there were his acting was so bad in that it even turned me off i think lord of war is a solid six out of ten it's a true story the plot is good it's the plot is great nick cage is a little bit of a fucker. He can make or break movies, and often he breaks them. You ever see Wicker Man? Yeah, that was pretty rough. My face!

They're stinging my face! They're stinging my face! It's so memorable. Everybody remembers now, right? It's a meme. It was a remake, too. I recently watched what is it? The Taking of... No, that's that other movie that I want you to watch.

The Taking of Deborah... The Taking of Deborah Logan is that movie that I want you to know. The one I recommended to you? Did you watch that? I didn't watch that one. I'm going to write that one down. But I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which I had never seen before. It's a good movie. It was more courtroom drama and less exorcism

than i would have hoped yeah i i've only seen that once it was like right when it came out it was the least scary scary movie i've ever watched there was one scary part and it was because everything had been so like grounded and not scary and then all of a sudden they did that cgi face thing where the face goes ah and the eyes like melt down the face and i wasn't prepared for that and i was just like ah fuck fuck i didn't know that was coming and then there's this one part where like the boyfriend is asleep in bed he's sleeping with emily because she's been disturbed and he's he's looking out for and he wakes up and she's on the floor all contorted like like fingers all messed up and bent into a weird position,

and she's just staring at him like, ah. Yeah, like that catatonic possessed thing. Yeah, that scared me too. I didn't care for that. But those were the only two scary parts of the entire movie, and I was looking to get scared. Yeah, you got to watch the – it's not Exorcism. It's the Autopsy of Jane Doe on Netflix.

Autopsy of Jane Doe. I'm writing it down now. It's a good it's i or i enjoyed it have you guys watched uh it's on netflix it's this like i don't even know if you probably wouldn't say horror maybe thriller called the platform what he's seen it he liked it the one so basically they're they're in this underground channel of a prison vertical channel channel, this big column basically. And there's a big square hole in every single level, like two prisoners stacked on top of each other. And it's basically, I won't spoil it, but food comes down from the top like a beautiful, like what you'd see at a king's mansion, you know, like a feast. Where it's like chicken legs and turkey and pies and everything you could want

and it goes down to level one and the two people on there munch munch munch munch and then after a couple minutes it goes down to level two and so by the time you get to like the final bottom level people are eating each other all the food's gone and stuff and so and then every like two weeks they'll randomly assign you a different one and so like one time it'll be like oh my god like we have to eat we have to eat and try and survive and then they'll be at level 200 where there's like skeletons of other people who didn't survive in there and it's basically

them trying to figure out how to escape and how to manipulate it and how to be like the cube it's Spanish no no it was it was one of those movies where the movie itself wasn't as good but the the concept behind it was so was one of those movies where the movie itself wasn't as good but the the concept behind it was so novel and entertaining i was like i'm on board for the same way that hypercube and the

cube series is fucking awful it's terrible but i love those movies because it's unique the way that they die is so entertaining there's a new thing in every little cube it doesn't make sense that doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't bother me. I watched the first cube movie and I was like, you never really know who's operating the cube. For those who don't know, these four or five people just wake up inside of a cube, you know,

inside this room. And, and it's like, it's like you're inside of a gigantic three dimensional puzzle box. Like you're inside of a giant Rubik's cube and you got to work your way out from the inside and since you're in a cube there's one two three four five six sides to every room each of those has a little hatch in it one hatch might instantly get killed if you go through it like some gruesome way acid or like wires that wrap you up a piano wire or something like that i think that's how it starts isn't it some guy in there and then just hellraiser style all these wires start shooting out and spinning and he just does that and they just become mincemeat becomes mincemeat

and uh but you don't know who's operating this cube or why or what the connection between all the survivors is and so i was like like, well, I gotta know more. Cube 2, let's go. I watched them all. There's like three, maybe four. You never figure out anything. They don't tell you who operates the cube. It's disappointing.

The most information you get is like one cube survivor in one movie they've blended together makes it like out of the cube bath where it's like, oh, they're kind of underwater the whole time or there's water under them for some reason. And she fell in and then she's like getting out of this fake beach

basically. And there's a bunch of armed people with like hazmat suits and guns. And like, yeah, that's about all the clues you get is that it's probably some government thing. They had no idea. What's that?

She escapes and then she finds herself in the hands of more bad people. Yeah. Yeah. Or the bad then she finds herself in the hands of more bad people. Yeah. Yeah. Or the bad. She finds herself in the hands of the bad people who are running it. But there's no information divulged about like, oh, we're doing this to test soldiers for tough. Like, no, there's no. That's the end of the movie.

Yeah. That's the best end of all the movies. Like getting up there after surviving. They just blow her head off. I remember correctly. They have really shitty ends. I watched all four of them in like a day, day and a half. I hate the Q movies now.

I love shitty horror movies, man. I like shitty horror, but like... I mean, I thought there was going to be like this big payoff at the end where we found out what was going on. And you never did. You're looking for the saw. You're looking for the saw. You're looking for the Saw.

That's what that is. But I want him to end at the end. I don't want him to bring him back over and over. I'm a little upset with this. I don't watch the Saw movies anymore. The first one's great. But the rest of them are meh. Whatever.

The first one, it's such a good movie like really sucks you in they don't even rely i think the saw franchise now has such an up like reputation is like oh it's just blood and gore and it's like yeah but go back and watch the first one really not as much blood and gore as you would think very little if you watch the the last few and it's like a nice little mystery good thriller great movie now i think that i think that the guy who plays jigsaw dies in like the third one i think they're on saw like eight or so and so and i i haven't seen all of them but i remember jumping to like saw six or seven years ago and it like starts with a montage of like even though i died fucking 15 years ago, I want to play another game.

And it's like, how much time did you have to plan this? Like, you have so many games to play. And then that one bitch who survived and now she runs the game, but she sucks at it. Yeah, that went on. They just upload. They just like, I said upload. It feels like a YouTube video, those movies.

They just make a new one every halloween and it makes another 20 million dollars and rinse and repeat yeah it's a business that's all they're doing they're milking you i think i'm gonna go watch tenant this weekend i'm gonna i'm gonna brave the the code and watch it i'm gonna do the same thing i'm uh i'm going to because i'm in here in los angeles that movie theaters aren't open, but Orange County there are. So I'm going to drive like an hour and a half, go see a movie. I know you told us about it. Can you refresh this while you're talking about it?

Yeah, it's another Christopher Nolan movie. It looks like Black James Bond with some like crazy sort of like mind-bending stuff going on at the same time. I didn't want any spoilers, so I've only watched fragments. Who's the main actor? This black guy. I don't know him. His name is John David Washington. Oh, he's new to me.

Me too. He was in Spike Lee's movie. What was it? The Five Bloods? No. Oh, American Klansman. Yeah. He's fantastic in it by the way um but uh

so then i all right well then i won't say any more kyle because i don't i don't want to spoil it looks cool it looks cool it looks like i said it looks like he's doing james bond style stuff but reality isn't it almost in like a matrix style reality in some like inception it's sort of like an inception inception yeah yeah yeah i can't i can't wait the huge fucking blockbuster that the trailer just came out for is fucking dune though i'm so hyped for fucking dune oh it looks it they they've made a dune movie uh with like a gigantic budget and it looks badass. It looks so good. Lots of Marvel Cinematic Universe characters are playing supporting roles. It looks great.

The Dune movie. Did you guys ever see the old Dune? Oh, yeah. Many times. It's rough. I hated that movie. That movie was just like... It's bad, and I like it. I agree, Bruce. I fucking hated it. It was one of the dumbest things I've ever watched. It's so stupid. I disliked it as a kid. My mind is open now.

I watched the director's cut a few years ago because I had never seen it before. I was like, I'm going to watch the director's cut. I like David Lynch. It's David Lynch, right? And I was like, what the fuck is this? The sci-fi garbage just pouring out of it and i hear the book is good but um yeah i've heard the book is they're they're they're good

i i don't know i've never read the books um but i'm really excited for this dude because of the director villain nuve who did blade runner 2049 yeah it looks crazy the worm looked amazing um um what's his who plays aquaman uh momoa or something like that yeah jason momoa is playing like patrick stewart's um uh part you know he's like paul atreides paul atreides is your main character and uh and and the original patrick stewart was like his like combat trainer like and his father's like second in command security officer type guy. And he was always teaching Paul to like master himself and teach him combat. And,

uh, and it looks like Jason Momoa is playing that role in this one. I want to say that the guy playing the Duke, like the sludge guy from planet shithole, um, that's like ground and flies for no reason and like and you're like oh he's gonna do something crazy like transform and he just goes i'm pretty sure that was batista right am i wrong yeah that's batista and i think there's another

um marvel uh uh actor in there somewhere else that i saw but i can't recall but looks great looks super high budget i'm hoping that it's gonna be like a trilogy and they're not just gonna do a the full story in one movie because it's a big big story i'm uh watching the boys now the superhero movie with the bad superheroes i know you don't want spoilers but um i think i can say this and it won't they're not giving the deep who is the aquaman like character very much respect and every time they dog on him i'm like that's the character i identify most with could you give him a high identify most with the womanizer uh i was a swimmer and they joke that i'm aquaman on the show and somehow i've adopted that even internally and uh he's you

know i was raised on the beach i was a lifeguard like like there's a like i was a water guy for decades and then there's a water guy superhero and he's just he's shitty he's not he's a terrible he's a terrible superhero he's a terrible person and apparently not a very good superhero either and now useless oil rigs literally from what sharks, there's a lot of dangerous facing oil rigs. Look, most of the planet is covered in water, alright? His domain is three times bigger than all those other superheroes combined. It's like me

having super strength in my bathroom. Like, what's the point? Would you say, Taylor? I'd cut you off. It's like having super strength in your own bathroom and that's it. You walk out and you just lure the bad guy in there and GG. Time to max out. Bring my

barbell. I want to see in The Boys. I haven't watched any of it other than, well, I haven't watched any of season two. That one character who's just Captain America, the equivalent of Captain America, whatever his name is. Superman. Homelander. The guy who's a clone of

Home Lander. Yeah, the guy who's just like, you take his head off. At some point they're going to take his mask off and it's just going to be Home Lander looking at himself in there, right? I want to see them fight. Because Home Lander doesn't even have a sword. His clones got weapons.

People... I don't know how much... I don't want to spoil much and i don't know how much people i only know this because i watch youtube videos about the comics but dark noir is apparently homelander and um some of the awful things that homelander like has to live with and has no memory of were actually done by dark noir his clone and they just held homelander responsible for it it's kind of this big fucked up situation oh i didn't know that yeah that's news to me on that one at least in the comics right yeah i think i'm gonna i think i'm gonna probably start watching tomorrow when the new episode comes out so i'll have four episodes in front of me i don't want to be so

far behind that i'm just avoiding spoilers every week so i'll probably start tomorrow or at least this weekend they're great the the show is really not missed a step at all. Yeah. Love season one. I think that, um, the show won't follow the comics that closely. That's my prediction because I think the show has legs and the comics have

like two seasons worth of material and the show could go on for seven, you know? Okay. So I suspect they're not going to try to really do a great adaptation. They're making their own thing eventually. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's really great. Yeah, I like it.

I wish that Preacher had been made by a network like Amazon. It was made on AMC, and they were really handcuffed because its material is just as adult if not more so than um the boys and to try to make that on amc was just like they were just handcuffed they couldn't really do what they wanted to do and it it wasn't that i liked it i watched it all last season was a acid trip i don't know what the fuck that was yeah it really was it felt it felt like it was edited badly i was like wait what did y'all just like delete like 20 minutes and and just sandwich it together anyway i was really surprised that that amc let that show finish because i'm pretty sure nobody was watching it like i was the only person that was watching

you and me you and me we got two tonight i think it's Colin Bruce. Yeah, it is. It is. I had a hard time. There's a character who has like an anus mouth. Yeah, butthole mouth, man. Yeah. He got his blown off by a shotgun. You don't like to listen to butthole mouth? I don't like hearing him talk, and I really don't like seeing him talk. I think that's really the primary reason I stopped watching the show,

the butthole mouth dude. Every time he comes on screen, you're just, again with the asshole kid. I think that's really the primary reason I stopped watching the show. The butthole mouth, dude. Every time he comes on screen, you're just, again with the asshole kid. It's bad. There's a part where the preacher is in an argument with him, and he's like, damn it, just go to hell. And because he has the voice of God, you have to do whatever he says. So I think the character's name is Eugene. And he just like falls through the floor like magic style and literally goes to hell.

And he like stands up, like dust himself off. And he's like, oh, no. And he's literally in fucking hell with the devil and Hitler. And it's ridiculous. How hell with the devil and Hitler. And it's, it, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Was he getting tortured or like really living his best life?

Hitler was like in his, everybody's, it seemed like at first everybody was kind of in their own personal hell in their little, uh, like cells. And he was like reliving his life's worst moment over and over and over for all eternity,

which was really mundane. That was the joke. It was like his worst moment was like being turned down for like an art position or something like that and being embarrassed in front of this girl he liked and uh and that was this worst moment uh and then like they go to like the common area where everybody hangs out and he's kind of getting picked on and uh and i want to say eugene maybe gave him a pep pep a pep talk he's like you're fucking hitler you you're the man and he like he finally snaps and like takes over uh like like his cell and and uh eventually he and eugene escape hell and they're just in like modern day america like running around hitler and butthole mouth and uh hitler

gets himself a job at subway and he starts and like like quickly mustache the whole time oh yeah and as hitler like subway manager he's quickly like getting himself a couple of followers it's really cool to see like swaying people yeah he's still hitler you know the guy who like nearly took over world, so he's quickly like the bus boy at Subway. He's making a lot of good points. Well, yeah, goddammit, got in an argument with him. Changed my mind. Taylor, I have a question from like an hour ago.

We were talking about Nairn stuff. Why do women pay more for their products, their hair care? This is an area of expertise you might have. talking about nair and stuff why do women pay more for their products their hair care there i feel this is an area of expertise you might have yeah uh overwhelmingly those like little studies they don't go by item to item so it won't be men pay more for a three pack of razors than women paying for a three pack of razors what they do is the same way that they get misleading stats on the wage gap is they'll go okay here's a survey a survey. What amount do you spend on toiletries on average per month? Men will say $40. Women will say $195. And the reason for that is guys like me,

I buy a five in one shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, hair product that lasts me months. Women have 15 ointments, creams different brushes stuff that has short half-lifes or short lives where it's like oh i gotta go buy more of this expensive face cream and so really it's just uh a comparison of priority spending really so i could be i'm not an expert i thought like product to product they would just price more when marketed towards women like shampoos or razors you don't think that's actually true is that actually true they market them they're just they're just higher priced but the same product i you know look i might be buying into a myth like but i've seen it so many times i just didn't question it uh i mean i'm sure there's examples of that yeah

and also it's just a matter of what people know a consumer will pay for it. So women are a lot more interested in, oh, a guy will see a shampoo and it's like, this gets you clean and that's the only claim. There's no more claims on the bottle. That's it. Women will get Garnier Fructis. This has got hemp oil for your pores. This has got sesame seed oil for your longevity of your hair it's got this for split ends this and that and so even if it is a similar product because they're

making so many more claims on there and that's compelling to the the consumer like they're going to charge more for it and they do it because they get paid for it so yeah those those little silly like so these people pay way more it's like okay well let's look at the methodology you know you're not comparing someone who bought you know and even then it's not apples to apples of course a really good hair product that a woman uses that is genuinely better is better than my suave four in one that lasts twice as long it might even be true here and there because i i'm not sure i thought it was actually true with razors and guys. Razors are actually better. It's like they're better and cheaper, but partly sometimes I'm like,

well, that's on you and your buying patterns. You know, where women are fucked up with, they're just wrong. They complain. They don't have pockets yet. They're buying things with no pockets.

Listen, there's no market for a woman's pant with pockets. They don't want that. It looks balloon. Well, they would say though, because I mean, like, I feel like I've heard this before, and I feel like I've heard a woman say, well, we don't have a choice. Like, there is nothing with pockets.

So, like, what are we supposed to buy? They have absolutely put themselves in that box. If guys jeans came with no pockets, everyone would be like, oh, scratch Wrangler off the list. I'm not gonna buy that no pocket bullshit yet girls are like you know okay it doesn't hold my phone in my keys but i'll live with it anyway it's like well you made your bed and as a whole like for clothes women buy a lot more for form than function and so like what they're really saying isn't there's no and there's no jeans for women with pockets

no there's an entire section over there of mom jeans with really deep pockets what you're saying is there's nothing i want to wear because it's not flattering that has pockets like there's a million women's pants with pockets out there it's just that they're not as in high demand with the people apparently complaining about it what a ridiculous thing to complain about buy pants with pockets yeah because i wonder if that's a vocal minority thing where like the people apparently complaining about it what a ridiculous thing to complain about buy pants with pockets yeah because i wonder if that's a vocal minority thing where like the people complaining saying you know like oh my gosh there's nothing i can find with pockets so there's no parent there's no pants that i like with pockets well in reality like you just said there those pants exist they just don't want them i don't know i'm not sure i really haven't never

looked at what it is yeah i'll tell you you. There are pocket pants available for women. They don't want to wear them. They don't look as good. They're not as form-fitting. Yeah, I never considered that. So the pockets, the placement of your pockets on your butt have a lot to do with what your butt looks like. Have you seen that done?

Absolutely, yeah. I guess the – I forget. I think you want high pockets or is it low? I think you want high pockets. High, i would guess especially for for women yeah otherwise you get that long butt thing where the button top of your leg combined into the same thing and it looks terrible but um you put the high pockets on there and it's a real attractive look but those hot pockets can't hold a phone back there that's why

women are walking around with one third of their phone in a back pocket yeah i mean if they really were looking to save money they would not purchase expensive purses and save money on the jeans by getting jeans i could hold their their items but you know and that's another silly thing why do women need pockets they've got purses like that's probably why they don't prioritize pockets as much as guys yeah you don't want this thing that you can keep a few dollar bills in instead of a bag you know that you're going to keep way too much nonsense in probably a really expensive toiletries that you'll also complain about i judge women by big purses right i think most guys don't care about purses at all but if i see you walking around with luggage get your shit together you just learn to travel a little lighter would you what do you have in

there survival kit in there yeah you got food in you have in there? You got a survival kit in there? Yeah, you got food in there? You got like an auto repair kit in there? What do you got in there? What you have in there is bullshit you haven't cleaned out. But Woody, imagine if it was acceptable, socially acceptable for you to carry around a bag. How big a bag would you carry around? I think I wouldn't carry a bag,

even if it was socially acceptable. I hear you saying, Woody, are you sure about that? I think I wouldn't carry a bag, even if it was socially acceptable. I hear you saying, Woody, are you sure about that? I think you're just saying that. No, even my wallet. Here, I'll show you my wallet. Yeah, I got the same wallet. It's a slim wallet, man.

I don't carry a lot of excess shit. I value traveling light. I do too, yeah. Yeah, so if I could have a purse, I don't think that I would. I would like to carry a messenger bag. If I were going to an office every day, especially if I had like – if I was taking like a water bottle with me and like, I don't know, a laptop especially, like something like that. Like if I was doing work with a laptop at work and then I needed to bring that home to finish up or to like handle eat work emails and stuff i would definitely carry a

messenger bag yeah those are handy i did that for a little bit i used to have a job where i carried my laptop all the time and uh for a while i had a messenger bag but then i realized like for me it was just a big bulky laptop carrier and i also had a nice pen in it and everything else was just i don't know crap and extra extra because you happen to have a messenger bag. I ended up just carrying my laptop like it was a book. And that's how I walk around with it. Yeah. And I do that way more than using the bag also.

People would be like, you know, what if you drop it? Well, then they get me a new one. It's practically a good thing. The more often I break these, the quicker I get replacements. Yeah. And if I'm walking around and i just drop my laptop i deserved it what was i doing here's a good question what's the most expensive thing you've ever dropped dropped good question fuck i know mine so i'll go first i was walking down the steps of my father's home when I was maybe 13 years old, maybe 14, and I had a Remington 1187 shotgun.

It's about an $1,100 shotgun. And I tripped on the front step, and it's all brick and then concrete at the bottom. Oh, no. And I had two options. I could either throw the shotgun and break my fall with my hands, or I could let my elbows and forearms eat. And it's not smooth concrete. Don't think that concrete that they've buffed like in your garage.

It's that prickly, really rough concrete that's supposed to be stippled. It's either eat my elbows off my body and probably break them or throw the $1,100 shotgun. And I threw that bitch and it was beautiful. It was perfect. It was, it was, you know, it's a stretch to shit. It fucked it up. It fucked it up.

I felt so bad. It, you know, what are you going to do? Oh, that was except I figured out mine. Um, all right. eh, you know, what are you going to do? Oh, that was except. I figured out mine. All right, so first of all, it's the back stairs in my Apex house. If you guys could picture, I had a deck off the back,

and there were like, you know, deck stairs that wouldn't, and there was maybe 10 or 12 of them that led to the grass. All right, so take that image, put it aside. And while not traditionally expensive, when Hope was like two, we used to do this game where she'd throw her head back like this. Hold on, I unplugged my headset.

She'd throw her head back like that and I'd sort of catch it and do this dip with her. Oh God. But she's two. It doesn't really realize that I need to be aware we're about to play this game. Oh so i'm holding her like you know like she's sitting on my forearm you know on my hip or something and she just bails goes off the back tumbles down the wooden stairs and i'm like oh no

i broke my daughter you know and she crying. She's hysterical. I'm half worried she's hurt. I'm half worried about what her mother's going to think. She turned out okay, as far as I know. I don't know what her future would have been. That's the worst thing I've ever dropped. Oh, jeez. Do you have one, Bruceuce can you think of the most expensive valuable thing i i'm i'm like taylor where like for me i

don't really have if it's really expensive i'm not going to drop it people have always said like with my phone their lives like why don't you put a case on it you're going to drop it i'm like no i won't i i have dropped one phone in the course of having you know 10 years of phones i dropped many phones. Yeah. See, I never do that. I never dropped my phone. It's very, very rare.

So that was probably the most expensive thing. However, I have a better story of something that I was very careless with and shouldn't have been. It was a, it was a 65 inch Samsung, a really nice plasma television that I had, I had like, I paid top dollar for it's like 3500 this was this was a few years ago and we were moving uh this television from one uh apartment to another and we i was driving the moving truck and i was like i and it was a very light load but the television was in the back i knew i was aware of it and there were speed bumps into the new apartment

and i drive in and I'm in a rush. I'm like, I'm like, fuck it. Like this thing's not going to fall over. I go over the speed bump. No big deal, right? Go over the other speed bump. I was like, it's no big deal. And, you know, pull over, start unloading.

And somebody comes to me. One of the friends was helping move. He goes, hey, man, your television's broken. And I was like, what do you mean broken? and he goes, hey man, your television's broken. And I was like, what do you mean broken? And he's like,

it looks like it's cracked literally all the way across the entire... And I went out and it looked like somebody had hit it with a baseball bat. It had fallen over flat on the moving truck. And I pulled it up and the entire... It was just beyond repair. That's when you go get that renter's insurance and then... i fucking blew it

i had the opposite that's when you commit insurance hypothetically my family had a regular crt television these are the thick ones with the tubes they're like cubes and plasma tvs were just coming into being a thing but they were crazy expensive like super expensive and um we spent like most of our excess cash on colin and his medical stuff but my friend had one and there was a purple line across it and he was selling it for cheap it was like 500 instead of 1500 and he's like you know it's purple line like it doesn't bother me but my wife doesn't like it you know like no deception here but if you want this tv it's a third of what a new one would be and i'm like fuck it i'm in you know

like i i'll do it how big was the line and like where where was it on there like very bottom little it was about one third through and vertical i'm told because somewhere in the like shaking and like the drive home maybe it was the carrying it we put it up it was fixed there was no purple line yeah i don't know maybe if he had just like racked it or twisted it and shook it a little it would have been looking at it for woody what's a great story oh man that's awesome i was gonna go the same direction as you woody with you were talking about hope i was gonna say i mean i definitely accidentally hurt my brother a good bit one that that bruised you picking up the tv looking at it broken and putting it back Bruce, you're picking up the TV, looking at it broken and putting it back.

So it was I was at I was I was maybe four. My brother was two. And we were going to look at a house to get a new house. My mom was there. The realtor was there and everything. And we're in this to me as a four year old. It felt like the biggest living room ever. It's probably not very big, but it was a long kind of shoot looking living room. And it was at least it was enough for a four-year-old and two-year-old to get a running start and i was like hey last one of the uh fireplaces rotten egg

or whatever and so i start i sprint towards and it's like not a brick fireplace it's like those jagged big rocks like those big white jagged slate box. This thick, very textured, very nice. And I get there and I tag it as I knew I was going to win because I was twice his age and could walk better. And he was the one walking, I was running. And I look back and I see my fat little brother doing like the waddling as fast as he can. He did it in the way where like,

have you ever tried to run downhill and halfway through the run? You're like, I'm going to eat shit. My, my feet can't keep up with the momentum. He maybe three feet out started and came down on the corner with his forehead right on the corner of that. And he starts screaming and it scared me so much.

I, I remember this is like ingrained in my head. I will never forget this visual i was like i grabbed the back of his hair and pulled his head up and it was just blood everywhere and i remember after that because my parents or my mom and the realtor were in the basement by that point i put his head back on the fireplace and then went mom and she ran up she's like taylor what did you do and he was bleeding so much i remember she put him in the car i'm in the car we had to go to the hospital and i pulled my legs up onto the seat because he was bleeding so much in my head i was like this car is gonna fill with blood and i just got brand new light up sneakers to get ruined.

But he's OK. He's got a scar from it, but it's not even noticeable anymore. So, yeah, then there was a time I this part. This was mean. I tied him up and put him in a wagon and pushed him down a very steep hill. And he happened to run into a tree. I didn't point him at the tree at all. And then he flew and kind of kind of hit his head on that also.

But that was probably the most I injured. Parenting tip, because I think a lot of our listeners will be parents in the next five or six years. If you find yourself in that situation, you're taking your kid with a facial injury to the ER room, ask for a plastic surgeon. That's what you do. They will, by default, just have, like, whoever's on call at the ER fix your child's face. Hey, where's shaky mic at the ER fix your child's face. Hey, where's shaky mic at? Right, right. I've got to get over here as fuck.

I'm right over here. No more practicing on oranges for you. Here's Woody's child. Try her forehead. Yeah, no. They'll get a real deal plastic surgeon in there, and they'll put tiny little stitches in it. The same thing happened to Hope. It was a very similar situation and uh we did that and it

turned out to be a good decision yeah well i i know that now to ask for the plastic surgeon that's something that never would have crossed my mind in a million years especially if you're in a high stress situation with a kid where you're probably mo is just like get them fixed asap yeah i hope i helped a parent or two out well maybe i hope i didn't help a parent or two i don't know how to phrase that i hope it doesn't happen to you but if it does yeah i hope your kid's face gets fucked up i can't think of any like really expensive items i broke i remember like when i was younger leaving hockey stuff at a rink, like expensive goalie pads at the rink. And even for a kid, those were like $600, $700.

Did you get them back? Yeah. Yeah, thank God. Because we got like 20 minutes back from the rink. And I was like, Dad, I forgot my goalie pads. And he was like, what? I was so scared. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life for him to whip around and go back.

And it was some podunk bullshit rink that we hardly ever went to. And so I was like, this is going to be stolen. Thank God we found him because I would have been. He would have probably just been like, well, those were your pads. That's the end of your season. That's a difficult decision as a parent to make. We teach Colin, take good care of your things. your season like that's a difficult decision as a parent to make like we teach colin like you take good care of your things because if you break them you won't have them anymore

but we don't follow through with that every time you know like god but you broke it so i guess we'll get you a better one yeah i'm thinking electronics in my head or something like all right well i guess we'll get the latest ipad now oh yeah that'll teach him when he starts accidentally tripping down the stairs with his gpu in his hand i ran over my computer with the lawnmower. Things happen. Yeah. Real quick, we're going to hear from a wonderful sponsor in Honey. We all shop online a lot, and we've all seen the promo code field taunt us at checkout. But thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past.

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hero. I mean Danny Muller would pee at his desk mulling really i messed it up where's your pee bottle at yeah where's your pee bottle at now we had a guest who peed on the show in a bottle and then drank it and just kept that cycle going you can do that that's all right i mean that's that's it's sterile let's prove that that is a thing you can do i was told i was told that uh urine is not sterile i over and over and over i thought that urine was sterile and i was told that it is not oh it's sterile how do you know i'm gonna google it right now because i was told it's absolutely not sterile that's what i thought yeah that's why i was told it is not sterile and you shouldn't be drinking your own waste i think it's not sterile i'm not sure sterile means that you can drink it

i feel like everyone just says oh well it's sterile or if something's natural that means it's good for you bleach is sterile that's a good point yeah uh just because but i think the actual reason urine is bad to drink is that it's salty. It takes your, your body needs a lot of water to process salt. So when you drink salt water, you actually put yourself in more of a water deficit than you had. You not drank salt,

salt water. And that's what urine is. Have you guys ever had the inclination to do that, to drink your own urine? No. Every day. No. You gotta fight the urge it's hard

i just wonder i wonder how many people have actually tried it bear grills yeah bear grills did it i mean but you can do it in a pinch right if you're if you're lacking water i think yeah there are only so many cycles though right because the next time through it gets even saltier that's right yeah um yeah i don't know i just i've just never had that inclination once i had to clean up piss for an hour from a friend of mine who pissed all over my closet when he was drunk and it was the worst like an hour he pissed everywhere all over my my ex-girlfriend's clothes he pissed like he pissed all over like some dresses and some shoes and that's a good friend it was uh he was really really drunk and just accidentally thought the closet it seems like

he should have had to clean it he was wasted and it was so here's what i was trying to do it was 4 a.m on new year's day and i was trying to make sure that my girlfriend at the time did not wake up to it so i cleaned it as fast as i could and then later on told her like not later on but like that later that day i was like hey so i cleaned a bunch of urine off of your stuff i'm sorry if it stinks but i tried to you know like i didn't want her to wake up and be upset basically it's pretty good boyfriend stuff right there yeah she probably wouldn't have but regardless i wanted to make sure uh which is why i cleaned it so i had to i had to sit there and clean it for it was it was it smelled so bad it's not so bad that's yucky stuff yeah yeah i would be upset

yeah exactly i wouldn't want someone pissing in my house i had a girlfriend vomit all into my uh truck one time and uh yeah i didn't mind it's fine i cleaned it up i cleaned it up you know what are you gonna do you know she but pissing in my closet that was again like it was that was just something that i i uh after the fact i asked him i was like hey has that ever happened before and he's like no i've never done that i mean not that he knows right but yeah right but apparently that's a actual thing that's a thing that people accidentally do, is piss in closets if they're really drunk. Yeah, people with drinking problems. I mean, yeah, probably.

I've never pissed anywhere I didn't mean to piss. It's the same with me. Absolutely. I've never pissed myself or pissed my bed. I mean, you hear tons of stories of people pissing their beds when they get drunk. Yeah, that is a common one. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm not sure. Last time I pissed the bed, it wasn't because I was like incontinent. It was because I had a dream that I was pissing. And you pissed? Do not trust dream toilets. Don't trust dream toilets. They are a trick. Dream toilets are out to get you.

That's why I bought my first casper mattress and my second one my third my fourth my i just had i just had that dream like a week ago that i was peeing because i had to pee and when i woke up i thought for sure i had pissed my my pants i thought for sure i because i like immediately touched my underwear and I was like, oh, thank God. Because I thought, it felt so real that I had pissed in that dream. And I was like, and I woke up

and I thought for sure I was going to be soaked and I was going to have to explain it to my fiance. And I didn't, it was fine. I just went to the bathroom. So I wonder what stopped my body from pissing my pants. Yeah, it didn't stop. Nothing stopped mine from pissing my pants yeah it didn't nothing stopped mine from pissing my pants i just i just did you know in the dream i'm pissing and i wake up and i'm like ah i have pissed myself i think i was in bed with a girl i was just like i woke her up i woke her up i was like i just pissed myself. She's like, the fuck? I had a dream where I was pissing.

I woke up. Sure enough, I was. I've never heard a girl tell that story. I wonder if they're equally susceptible to it. I don't know. I don't know. But it was time to change the sheet. She had to get up.

So I was like, yeah, I have pissed myself. And we've got to get up and put some – take the sheets off, put some towels down, and new mattress tomorrow. Had you known her very long, or were you still forming a first impression? Oh, it was formed after that night. Was that the last time you fucked? No, no, no, no. That didn't end everything.

No. If you've got a girl in your bed who can't handle a little piss, then you've made two or three errors already. Yeah, that's an honest mistake. Nice words. Yeah. It's not like I shit the bed. Oh, I saw this prank the other day. Did you see? Maybe you

guys saw it. This black woman, she sets up a hidden camera. She's like, we gonna get Lamar. like her boyfriend's like asleep in the bed and she's got like a baggie of fake shit like i don't know what it is it's pudding or something but she like puts it all over her ass crack like like like it looks like shit it looks like diarrhea all over her ass crack and and she like squirts it so that it splatters all over the bed and the wall behind her and his face and his face like it was exploding out of her like like it exploded out of her ass

and uh they're they're sort of laying in this weird position where like like hit like like her head is by his feet and her butt and uh her butt is facing his face so it's and then she She fakes like she's asleep and he wakes up and he's like, the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Monique!

She's not awake. She doesn't move. He slaps her on her shitty ass hard. Wake up, girl! They shit in the bed she goes what where'd the doodoo come from it's fucking great fucking great oh that i i started to watch that. She was just distributing the fake poop and I'm like doping out of there. I was like, nope, nope.

Not watching this. I can't take it. But that grossed you out? Just watching it? I guess so. I'm not much of a scat play guy. Well, me either. It's just not real shit though. It was pretty effective.

It was a good simulation. Did she put ground just not real shit, though. Yeah, it's too close. It was pretty effective. It was a good simulation. Did she, like, put ground-up peanuts? Oh, Jesus, right. Corn kernels. She carefully extracted the inside of all the corn husks. She's got, like, a ninja blender to make it the perfect consistency. I mean, everybody loves poop pranks, except for the person being pranked, generally. I mean, absolutely. Half of people loves poop pranks, except for the person being pranked generally. I mean, absolutely.

Half of people like poop pranks. There's a prank going around on TikTok where the parents are pranking their kids where they're sitting on the toilet. Parents are sitting on the toilet going to the bathroom. And what they're doing is putting pudding on their hand and then asking their child to come in and give them more toilet paper.

And so then they accidentally spread the pudding on the kid's hand. And then the kid generally will flip out and be like, what the fuck? I can't believe there's poop all over me. Why would you do that to me, Dad? Fantastic. This one little girl goes,

oh, oh, it's poop. And the mom's like, yeah, I'm sorry. I wiped poop on. She's like, it's okay. Just try not to do it again. And I was like, oh, that's a good kid. That's a good kid. Because I would lose my shit.

I'd freak the fuck out if you wiped shit on me. Talking about cool kids, I was watching an episode of Hoarder. So I'm not, unlike you, bruce i am bad at video games and so my most popular streams are me mocking reality shows or videos of people and hoarders is just the best for this and every once in a while you come across a very high t child and there was this kid that was living with his fucking nutless ass british guy dad and this horrible woman of a mother hoarding. And he, as soon as the people get there, they're like, we're going to start cleaning up the hoard.

This kid is like, he looks like he just got a free Disneyland pass. He's so excited. And they're asking him as he's doing it. And this kid's five. They're like, what do you think, Tom? Or what do you think, Matt? You think this is good to go? And this kid will be like, no, honestly, all of this is useless it can all go he's like just straight

up he's sprinting in and out throwing everything away you're like you're rooting for the kid and this is the kid that uh the mom was so terrible she was like i they they have room to play and it showed a patch about as big around as my arms are and these two kids sitting there next to like cat shit and refuse playing with terrible toys and the mom like i didn't think at any point that they were in danger and it's like that the government's telling you right now they're they're in danger and they're gonna steal them from you but uh yeah it's it's so easy to hate the people in that show other than the kids and other than matt paxton matt paxton's high t i love when the government comes in and takes people's kids.

Sometimes it is totally like when you hear that story, like the government's coming to take my kids. It's like, that's horrible. That's so sad. You look at some of these hoarder houses. It's like, dude, it is. It's despicable that this hasn't happened years ago. Like they're like, oh yeah, my kids have never had a play date

because they're too embarrassed to have people over. And the kid will be in the next scene. Like can't have a play date too embarrassed for people to come over. And it's like, that shouldn't be a thing for a four year old. I would like, yes, the children would be normalized to it.

Like that's surprising to me. I'm sorry. In a way they are, but also they still got like their kids. They go to each other's like their friends houses for play dates or or whatever and so they see regular homes and they're like oh there wasn't a single dead cat at the johnson's meanwhile we're flush with dead cats invest in dead cats if you oh those people are just the worst but and i i got more diverse with it for the longest time i was like this is just a white people thing quite a few black families hoarding on there too i've

found the remaining holdout zero asians not a not a one that i can find you know what i think i think that's i think that's some sort of tomfoolery that the producers are pulling though because I remember cops used to have this thing where they were like, every night, we can only do one black guy. Don't tell me you don't have footage of a white man committing a crime. You get it.

You get me footage of a white man committing a crime. No, two. They're like, two? Two white men committing crimes? Yes. When do you want it? Well, next month. Oh, God.

It can't be that hard to find white people committing crimes. You know where you go. Go to Goldman Sachs. They're committing crimes all over in that place. That's the thing. They need cops crime. They need the kind of crime that

the regular old patrolman who's riding around at night is going to get called to. Usually it's domestics. It's hard. That was one of the most popular shows in prison. Not cops, but live PD. We loved live PD because we'd strategize about what the

guy should be doing oh he's doing it all wrong yeah maybe so but he's outside and you're not oh he was on his way in oh he let him in his house for you don't let him in he doesn't have a warrant oh now they're in the attic. You're sitting there watching. He's like, dude, shut up. This is my episode. And this part right here, a little movie magic. They actually did that after the fact.

It's like really interesting. Wasn't one of the AMA questions about like, if I was going to hang out with, with a snow again or something uh let me get it right it was it was near the top hanging there by the way if you want to ask us uh an ama question it's like 10 bucks a month you also get access to pkn early and uh might be getting some more things later on you never know would you be sorry for the patreon would you be interested in hanging out with Snow again? Or do you more so just want to know how he's doing?

I would like to know how he's doing. I can't hang out with him or have any contact with him because we're both felons. I'm not allowed to do that. That's one of the terms of my probation. When that's over, I could probably. But the thing is, I bet he's one of those guys who gets like 10 years of probation, so he couldn't talk to me because I'm an ex-felon. It seems like he shouldn't be.

I don't know. For some reason, I thought it was a probation incompatibility. Once you're not on probation, he can talk to normal people like you'll soon be. No. But I won't technically be one. I'll still be a felon. I don't think you can have contact. You can't vote, right?

Correct. That's crazy shit. That varies by state, maybe. Oh yeah, it's the worst. Also, don't get jury duty. Suck my dick. They don't want me on a jury? Can you imagine

Snow on a jury? I know he did it, but that vato had it coming. And everybody in there, it's like 12 angry men, but it's really just Snow. We're not leaving here until you fucking agree. Kyle, you're really

lucky you don't get jury duty. That's actually the one advantage. All you gotta do is as really lucky you don't get jury duty that's actually the one advantage well i mean all you gotta do is like as soon as you go in tell them that you uh because of religious uh reasons you can't stand in judgment of another human being and you get turned right out of there well you've been before bruce um very very close i mean you perjure yourself if you say that sort of thing and it's not true usually they ask you to prove it generally they what do you what do you want me to do bring a picture of jesus christ has anyone here actually gotten out of jury duty you did yeah that's what i did i got out of jury duty but i didn't i didn't mean to they just didn't pick me it was just they just like i was honest and they didn't pick me i've been selected

like i've been like picked a few i don't know. I'm not saying it right. All I ever had to do is call in, and I think I have a number or something, and they say don't come. I had to go in and sit in a courtroom and do the whole deal. Yeah. It was a rape case. Oh, wow. That's a big one. That's a big case. That's probably three, four weeks on a jury.

Yeah, I don't want to be part of that. I had to go and see if there would be a need for a jury so i had to wait around one day but then i think they agreed to a plea so there was no jerry well that's yeah yeah i've never even been asked like i've never gotten a registered voter yeah oh weird lucky you're lucky because usually you get them every two years apparently it's just a dice roll like some people get it all the time some Some people just never get it. Which means I'm due. Speaking of getting out of something, I have to go.

Okay. Sorry, I don't know if Chiz told you that. No, he did. He did. Just lost track of the time. Well, thank you for coming on. We always enjoy talking to you. Oh my gosh. Thanks for having me. Anytime, guys. What's your Twitch? Oh, it's just my name, Bruce Green. That's it. That's all it is. right go follow him fantastic streams over there check him out guys yeah i

will see you all you all you gents uh on twitch except for maybe kyle who i don't know if streams no no okay well i'll see woody and taylor all right bye guys see ya i started uh i started playing fallout 4 again today i was i was working on my mods right right up until like the last minute that we started the show you just have a an itch to jump back into that yeah i think youtube recommended uh somebody's fallout 4 like let's play to me and i started watching a little bit of a little bit of it and he was just so fucking annoying like each episode he begins with like apologizing if you hear his air conditioner and explaining how hot it is there and i'm like dude i don't give a

fuck who is this i don't know i don't know just some random youtuber it's got a lot of views but like he's just annoying the fuck out of me he's complaining about his air oh and uh i hope this sounds okay because this microphone is blah blah blah blah blah and like five minutes go by and he hasn't even begun the let's play like he's just wasting my fucking time so i just i was like i own the fucking thing so i came in here and installed it and started and then i spent all day today installing mods before you're playing after the show also right yeah i'm gonna i haven't really started playing yet because like, so I don't think you've ever modded a game. You're still kind of new to PC game.

I did Borderlands, Borderlands two with like all those like ridiculous guns. Oh no, no, no, no. So that's in game modifications. Like in that game,

there's the ability to like put a laser or something. That's like customization. So mods are, are aftermarket, um, modifications written. That's like customization. So mods are aftermarket modifications written by coded by users. Like I'm installing completely

new content into a factory game. It's like putting suicide doors on your Honda Civic. There aren't any Honda Civics with suicide doors. You can replace all the dragons in Skyrim with Thomas, the train engine. You can replace all the dragons in Skyrim with whales that, that can fly in the air.

You can do anything like in a game like fallout. It's like, I don't mean you've probably seen like the ads where the guy's got that big tanky metal power armor on. Well, maybe you want him to look like he's Master Chief from Halo. Well, just clickety-click, clickety-clack, install that mod, and now you're Master Chief from Halo.

Or if you're like, wow, these guns are kind of lame. I wish I had an AR-15. There's a hundred different AR-15s. Which one do you want? You just install these mods into the game. And it's not just weapon packs and cosmetics. There's complete overhauls of the game that change the way the game is played and the story and add like people have gone through

the trouble some stuff new quests with dialogue and and voiceover like they've hired voice actors or gotten their friends whichever to like record all of the voice acting and then plug that in so you can take that 60 fallout i don't plug that in. So you can take that $60 fallout. I don't know what it costs now. You can take fallout four and just play it endlessly. It just, you can completely change the way the game works, the way the,

the way every aspect of that game works from what are you doing? Like, Oh, it's dozens of different mods. It's like, like I changed it all. I changed the entire world to a desert. So it's more like fallout new Vegas instead of this lush, deciduous sort of forest and rolling hills type scenario.

A bunch of dialogue stuff. I wanted my character to be a hot chick with an innie pussy. So I made that happen. Perfect. All sorts of stuff like that. Everything from what my girl looks like to weapon mods and fixes to known bugs and big overhaul patches and all sorts

of things. I got like 50 mods installed. That's pretty cool. I'm looking forward to playing later. I love the Fallout series. I really like modding. I like going in there and finding all the interesting mods. There's really successful youtube channels and all they do is like every couple days they go on to like nexus mod manager find like the 10 hottest mods of the week and

upload a video showing them off i've been hanging on to a topic for after bruce leaves this weekend we had our 50 patreon hangout that's a good one wildest ever wildest ever all right if y'all want in on this it's 50 a month which i know may sound silly it's worth it if i were on the outside looking in, I'd plunk that money right the fuck down. We had a ball, right? We hung out for, we were in there for four or five hours or something like that. And there's so many $50 Patreons now. We do a couple of different groups where they get like two hours each. And man, I don't even know if we should say what happened. I think you should.

We probably shouldn't. No, you totally should. And work with me on this. Go ahead. What happened? There was some activities from some of the members. They were doing some things. It's okay.

Lay it out. I promise. Work with me on this. i know something you don't oh was that fake cocaine dude comes out with like a pound of cocaine right how much three ounces really i was way off i was way off was it three ounces and um he's snorting it on the show. And he's visibly high, right? Like, he wasn't carrying on a conversation properly. And he was, he snorted it without a straw at one point. He just put his nose in it, rubbed it along one of the lines.

He pops up and his nose is all, like, dusted and stuff. And it was hilarious. And then there was a baby involved I didn't want to talk about the baby we're like the fuck there's a child here and I'm like I'm honestly feeling bad like this is a child protection

Woody was not pleased I was laughing I was crying I was laughing so hard I was crying and I looked over at Woody through tears and he's just like, I don't like that there's a baby here in the cocaine house. Well, it's because it was the back thing on a phone. And so he's holding it in a couch or a bed by himself showing. And then like the remnant of powder around his nasal cavities.

And then he just tilts it down and there's a kid leaning on him. And Kyle, it is one of the hardest I've seen Kyle laugh in my entire life. Like to the point he was hyperventilating. That was awesome. I really felt like I was supposed to do something like I'm the adult here. And I'm like, did he even put the Coke away? Is the Coke seven lines stored in maybe three of them put the Coke away? Is the Coke? Because he put like seven lines, snorted maybe three of them with his nose straight up on the table.

And then I'm like, it seems like there's still four lines left on the desk. And now he's watching the kid with the Coke still out. The kid's adorable. And I'm just like, the fuck? Kid's real hyped up too. Energetic little kid. You know?

Bouncing around. All that dehydrated milk he was shoving up his nose. And there was some legal drug use too. Guys had their cards. Some states weed is legal now. But he was an Olympic level consumer there. So he got like, oh, it was an edible of some sort, right? He drank the THC. Oh, that was a different guy.

So another guy. I didn't know. There's another guy who pulls out this bottle of like THC. It's liquid. And it's 1,000 milligrams. Like the whole bottle is 1,000 milligrams. And it looks like one of those sort of light red clear plastic plastic cough syrup bottles like prescription cough syrup bottles and i start peer pressuring him of course i'm like he drinks like a quarter of it which is

a massive dose for the uninitiated 250 milligrams that would that's scary town that is that's a one way ticket to scary town ruin your day and i'm just It'll ruin your day. And I'm just, it'll ruin your day. And I'm just like, come on, at least drink half. And he's like, all right, Kyle. He drinks half. And I'm like, come on, you're this far in? Come on, pussy. Drink a little more.

Just one more sip. And he's just like, I don't know, man. I probably should. Come on, I'll be a bitch. And he gets another sip. And now he's drank three quarters of this bottle. He's at least 700 milligrams of THC. And I'll say this is over the course of 35, 40 seconds.

And it just started with him holding it up. Kyle going, drink it. And he goes, no. And Kyle goes, just half. And then he drinks half. And then he holds it up again. And Kyle goes, what's another half of the half? And then he drank another half of the half like style and then he drank another half and you're like now you might as well just polish it off i don't think he took any more after that but it was like 50 milligrams of pot so and i was

just like there's a ticking clock boys we got an hour and a half until he's going to fuck town and sure enough about two hours after he drank that you could he was just yeah man i got shit to do today he's like i'm glad my kids aren't with me today and i was like you've got kids what the fuck i thought you were like 17 in your parents basement or something you got kids yeah man i got kids so here's what he was high until yesterday it's like i don't know where we've been hanging out for like four and a half hours at this point or so and i excuse myself to go to the bathroom i come back it's me and like three other people everyone left the hangout and they come back and it's and it's my empty chair and those guys. And one of the guys is Cokehead. And he's like, Woody, this is just for you.

I've been planning this prank for months now, hanging and waiting to join the Patreon. And he shows me it's diaspartic acid, this natural testosterone booster that he's been pretending was cocaine the whole time. He was snorting this. Yeah, thank God he's dude he did a i don't know what a coke high is like but i thought he was nailing it as far as i knew like

he didn't talk very much he was kind of up on it he laughed easily but like usually you talk 24 7 if i think he may have been covering himself because he made himself out to be a cocaine dealer. And a cocaine dealer would use that product you just mentioned to cut their cocaine and up their profits. Oh, I didn't think about that. I didn't even know that. He even mentioned the way he would put it into straws and melt the ends so that he had these one gram amounts of it. Maybe he had sobered up. I don don't know i hope that wasn't cocaine i didn't i bought it hook line and sinker both times i i was like you completely had me fooled i thought for sure it was coke and then afterwards he he was

completely fine he didn't seem high anymore and he showed me the diaspartic acid that he had. And that's what it was. And it was a prank that he had had planned for some time now. He came into the Patreon hangout with the idea that he was going to fool us all. Good. He did fool us. I bought in hook, line, and sinker. He fooled me. I remember we were four hours in or whatever, then four and a half hours in.

four hours in or whatever, then four and a half hours in. And we're like, we're just going to keep going until we see Mr. 750 grams of THC start to behave oddly. And he got so high so fast. He wasn't able to look out. And he kept saying, like, I'll be fine. I'm going to barbecue. And we were like, dude, your day plan, you don't have plans until Wednesday morning, my friend.

This is your life now. This is what you're going to be doing. You're not barbecue. I guarantee he didn't make it to the barbecue that day. He did not. He burnt everything. He woke up high Monday. He woke up high Tuesday.

No, you're exaggerating, right? He definitely woke up high Monday. Yeah, he definitely woke up high monday yeah he definitely woke up high monday and he was probably stupid high all day monday and he would have felt like shit weird probably felt weird on tuesday like that that's so much i don't even know what happens i've never done more than like well i don't know i i've eaten home i've eaten homemade brownies and god knows what i was dosing myself with in those instances it could have been anywhere from 100 to 300 or something because i was just mixing an ounce with a pan of brownies. 500, right?

Am I wrong? 750 of liquid, like pharmaceutical grade THC. High quality stuff. Quick, quick release, digesting fast, hitting them all at the same time. Yeah. I would have had to leave the call and just like go lay in bed and try not to panic i would have been so scared like like that's a that's a frightening dose like i would have made myself vomit i would have had a capful and put it away that would have been plenty for you like

like the dose that like like if i when i was smoking a lot and we'd go to colorado i'd usually take like between 50 and 70 milligrams to like get good and high and he did 10 times that yeah that's crazy that's so much i was saying like that's so much it's like going to somebody's barbecue and having two cases of beer 70 beers yeah it's like drinking two cases of beers of beer in like a three hour period by your fucking self another barbecue i gotta finish these off my kids are waiting on me there's two girls in the patreon hangout one is there because she's a fan of the show and she just sort of watches the whole time

the other was there with her boyfriend and she just... Sweetheart, I don't think you belong here. I was like, she's wondering what the fuck's going on here. He pulls his microphone over to her and she's like, I just told him. I was like, you pay for this, huh?

I just like seeing what he does with his money well there's no no dinner this week huh no date night you gotta hang out with your retard friends that's why we're not going to the movies right no that's covid he's two hours child Hangouts at least two. Yeah, we have a fucking ball. I look forward to the Hangouts every fucking month. They're always funny. So yeah, if you join up for the $50 patron, you get to join us in the Hangout.

You get all the things that come from the lower levels of that. You get access to the Patreon, the $50 patron Discord. I'm usually in there. I wouldn't say usually, but a couple nights a week I go in there and I stream some games with them and we all play games together. We usually try to pick games that will accommodate 10 or 15 people. We've got a Rust server that

one of the guys was nice enough to host at his own expense at his house that we played on a little bit last week. Have a lot of fun in there. It little bit last week. But, you know, have a lot of fun in there. It's a good time. Yeah, absolutely. So, a little little F's

to pay respect. Lady Olenna died today. Yeah. From Game of Thrones. The cool old lady. She was so young. 82. Oh, we were talking about John Madden earlier. Dude, he's a tremendous death pool pick.

6'4", former football player. 84 years old. He's going soon. 84, you said? Yeah, I didn't believe he was that old, but I checked earlier. 84. So he's a good one for a death pool if we decide to do that again. I call John Madden if we're doing another one.

Let's start another one right now. One person. I got John Madden. Okay, here are the rules. Nobody white. They can't be over 90. Okay, I like can't be over 90. Betty White, she's mine. No, lies. I'm going to make new rules.

Two people plus an under 40. Okay. Two people. I'm taking to make new rules. Two people plus and under 40. Okay. Two people. I'm taking Queen Elizabeth. Betty White. Betty White. Is she over 90? Yeah.

No over 90s. No over 90s. What kind of rule is that? Because otherwise you just pick the oldest person. It's not as much fun. You like to pick the unexpected deaths Okay Wait is Queen Elizabeth over 90?

Yes I think she's like 100 almost She fought in World War 2 Fights generous She's 94 She didn't drive a manual She's 94 Shit got busted by my own

Old celebrity's about to die it's an autofill search i'm taking oh it's clint eastwood i'm taking clint eastwood oh how dare you yeah i'm gonna find madden and clint eastwood i picked the jeopardy guy what's um bob barker no that's right and he's been retired for a long time. And he's over 90. Alex Trebek. He has cancer. I feel like... Oh, look at all these rules now.

I understand that, but I also feel like if you know a guy who has had stage four... I've seen the Kolonoski results. I need to see his white cell count, or you're not allowed to pick anyone. Are you sure this guy flushed out?

Did he drink all the drink? He was pooping here. All right, I've got my under 40. I'll let you guys pick your other not under 40, though. Wait, wait, Kyle, you are allowed the cancer one because they're not 90. That was just a good pick in my rule. Oh, okay.

I think it's plenty stringent with the no above 90 rule. So what was your other one, Kyle? Celebrity? Yours was who, Kyle? Alex Trebek. Alex Trebek. And did you have another one yet? No.

How old is Morgan Freeman? Oh, he's getting up there. He's probably late 70s or maybe even 80. He looks old as shit. 83. I'll take Morgan Freeman. Freeman. Alex Trebek and...

And Woody, did you have one picked? I can't remember her name. I'll just claim her even though I can't get her name right. Who is Jeffrey Epstein's recruiter? Gillian Maxwell? Can you say it slower for me?

G-E-H-I-S-L-A-I-N. Or something like that. Maxwell. Yeah. Can you say it slower for me? Oh, H S L. Or something like that. Okay. Is she's, she's 58. Darn it. She was going to be my young pick, but she's 58.

No, take her as one of your old picks. She's going to get suicided. Probably. That was the, I thought that was, I thought that was a good pick. I don't think so.

I feel like there's too much attention on her now. I mean, there was way more attention on Epstein. He got got. Maybe attention is not the right term. I feel like you can't do that one twice. I don't know. They're going to have to find some other way to convince her not to rap. I'll take from my under 40.

Oh, let me see how old she is. Alcoholic celebrities. Let's see. I'll take Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Okay, okay. That's a good under 40. I'd fuck that corpse.

I'm trying to think, like, what celebrities do a ton of drugs? That guy's 6'9", probably does a ton of drugs. That guy's six, nine probably does a bunch of drugs. Andy ratted on people. He might be a good under 40. Yeah. I don't know about post Malone. I don't know how many drugs he's doing or how much of that is.

Oh shit. How old's little Wayne? Cause I want to change to little Wayne for my under 40. If he's under 40, that's a real good one. He is. Yeah. I'm taking a little Wayne for my under 40 damn it that's a

drug thing got me on board yeah okay i've got my under 40 pete davidson i'm sure you know him he's a comedian his father died in 9 11 he's on um saturday night live okay yeah yeah yeah butthole wise yes yeah who are do you have your your older ones picked yet woody no i'm i'm working hard but i can't figure out if i want to go who are some celebrities with bad drug problems dude pick uh bill clinton the heart and everything oh shit i would go with bill cl. He looks like he's being weekend at Bernie's. You see that clip of Hillary Clinton talking to the camera and he's sitting next to her

and he's so sallow and sunken in. Bill Clinton would be a good pick. So what's the Max Age? Oh, shucks. I clicked on the wrong thing. Max Age is 89. The emperor in fucking Star Wars has sapped him of his fucking energy with that lightning shit.

He looks so bad. Yeah, take Bill Clinton. That's yours. I don't want it. Bill Clinton's going to die way before Eastwood. That was dumb of me. Take it. What do you think? I never said Bill Clinton.

I was saving it for you because it was a good one. You don't want him? No, he's all yours. I took Keith Richards, though. Bob Dole's a good one, too. He was in that wheelchair at the inauguration alive he's probably too old though right yeah oh man bill clinton you know what i'm gonna bank on clint eastwood not dying and i'm changing to bill clinton yeah that's a good call i don't think eastwood seems like a pretty healthy old man. He did a lot of code back in the day. He's not fat.

Yeah, he's been fit his entire fucking life. Forget career. Life. Drug addicted. Even if you go back to Space Cowboys, which was made in early 2000s. I don't know. He was probably 65, 70. He's got like bicep definition. Like he looks fit.

So 79 is the oldest age. Is that right? Mike Ditka? Yeah, 89 is the oldest age. Oh, I'll take Ditka then. Mike Ditka. Mike Ditka. Mike Ditka.

That's a good one. That's a good one. These are my picks. How's Larry Bird? He looked like shit in that TV show we watched. He did look kind of rough. Black don't crack. Some of those

polar black guys, they look so good. You're like, he's the same age. Morgan Freeman is shattered. Bill Cosby. Morgan Freeman looks old as fuck, dude. Dude, he is old as fuck, though. He's like, what did I say he was? He's like 90.

How old is Morgan Freeman? He's in his 80s, probably early 80s, I would guess. I'm feeling so good about this Ditka pick. I really like the fact that he's an ex-professional football player. Let's see Mike Ditka 2020. He's heavy. He's an ex-football player. This guy looks like a red meat eater. He's just

going to drop. That's a solid pick. Dude, I don't know. I'm looking at him. He looks alright. No. This is what heart attack victims look like shortly beforehand oh come on actually you know what you know who i'm taking for my under 40 i'm taking shia labeouf he seems insane and he doesn't seem like one of those celebs he's like yeah i used to be a boozer i used to be a co-cat he seems like the kind of guy who's who goes hard in the paint so i'm taking

shia labeouf i actually like pete davidson like i kind of root for goes hard in the paint. So I'm taking Shia LaBeouf. I actually like Pete Davidson. I kind of root for him, but his mental health struggles are so pronounced. Oh, yeah. None of this is judging the people. We're just picking who we think are going to die. It's a real crybaby. Say that again?

Butthole eyes is a real crybaby. So, Woody, you've got Mike Ditka, Pete Davidson for your under 40 and then keith richards keith richard richards how's ozzy osbourne that motherfucker good one good one that's risky business i feel like he's never gonna die that's how keith richards is how old is keith richards 71 on o Ozzy. Richards is 76. A hard 76. Ozzy does talk like a retard now.

Ozzy has Parkinson's. Does that kill you? Yeah, yeah. I think Parkinson's kills you because it's neurodegenerative. So, yeah, that'll kill you. Okay. That's a terrible way to go. We need to put this somewhere it won't be lost.

Taylor, it looks like you're logging it. I've got it all written down. The death pool. What's to be gained here? Everybody puts $10 in the pool? Sure. I'll do $10. What do you want, Kyle?

Do you have an idea? Sure. All right, cool. Taylor was just a syllable away from throwing throwing around that twitching cup like what 10 let's make it interesting boys no no i just i i just want the the pride of victory in having guests who died first but 10 bucks i'll throw that down i'll throw down 20 see here it begins here it begins i'll do i'll do 50 i'm in a new tax bracket bitches how do we do this what's the rule is it

the first person to have one person die or is that to be two of the three how about this under 40 i got it i got it if any of them die you win if any of your picks win. If you're under 40 dies, triple. The other two pay triple. I like it, but back down to 10. Okay. Under 30, we pay 30 bucks. Or under 40, 30 bucks. Yeah, because that's crazy, right?

If one of these under 40s die, that is a real – that's national that's global news if little wayne just fucking croaks in the next year three years what's your under 40 taylor i've got shyla buff okay yeah come on that's fit healthy rich young white guy he acts like a crazy person he was the one like after like, after the election, running around dressed like a homeless person. It's his job. That's true. Fuck.

I mean, I'm not saying he's a crazy actor in movies. I'm saying he seems kind of unhinged in the way he carries himself. Yeah, but he doesn't do, like, wackadoo things. Like, I mean, he's... He lost a lot of brain cells and sleep doing that he-will-not-divide-us thing where 4chan kept finding his flags

by looking at flight patterns. That was silly. That was hilarious. That was so funny to watch. Yeah, that could be fun. We'll see if any of these people die. I can't believe we're not allowed to. I think Lil Wayne

is fucking clutch because he's already had all sorts of issues from his drug use and having to go to the hospital because he does lean. And I think he had. That makes you old fast. He had seizures. He was having seizures. Yeah, from the lean. You got the best under 40 then. Maybe.

I don't know. What was Woody's under 40? Pete Davidson. Oh, I've got the best under 40 davidson oh i've got the best under 40 then yeah you've got the best under 40 fuck maybe i'll change pete davidson's got pussy disease he just gets a little blue he gets he just gets a little blue he just gets sad i've i don't watch snl so i'm not familiar with that guy at all. Yeah, he's weird looking. He's got butthole eyes. That's the only thing I know about him is SNL and butthole eyes. Fucking butthole eyes.

It's his fucking front-facing reputation. But, oh shit, I had something else written down. I should wait for Woody for that one. I think he's going to be a minute. Yeah, I hope he's feeling okay. Have you seen those pictures of San francisco yeah it looks like what the hell caused that um it's gonna be the fires right yeah but like those fires happen every single year i've never seen it that intense like in the main city area i think it's the smoke like reflecting the city light back down

you know how like uh like cities have that orange haze above them like sometimes like i think it's the smoke like reflecting the city light back down you know how like uh like cities have that orange haze above them like sometimes like i think it's reflecting that orange haze back onto the city uh look cool though it looked cool everybody was blaming the gender reveal for like all these wildfires and then i saw a bar graph a little while ago and it was like the causes of california wildfires represented in a um not a bar graph, but a pie graph. And it was like 70% lightning. And then like 20% something else, 8% something else. And like 0.7% were gender reveals. Like they call,

they, they, they call it like two wildfires and everybody's like freaking out over fucking gender reveals. They're fucking cool. Especially the ones where you use explosives i set one up for scott whenever one of his bastard children was born really yeah i just ended up uh took a big box of uh colored chalk uh like powdered colored chalk the kind you use um if you do carpentry you have this thing called a chalk line where it's like it's like a tape measure, but a string comes out instead.

And it's on the inside, there's tons of this powdered chalk, blue or red. And so the string is always getting like mixed, getting that on there. So you stretch out this line and you, you pull it taut and then you pull it up like a guitar string and release it. And it goes and like leaves this really perfectly straight chalk line across like wood or concrete for like construction stuff well you can buy that stuff in bulk like pounds and pounds of it so we just i i was like yeah buy like five pounds of that and then we'll take five pounds of tannerite and we'll put the chalk on top of the tannerite shoot the tannerite and when it blew up

it just made this gigantic blue cloud of chalk. It's pretty cool. It is pretty cool. Yeah, but I mean, you know, it didn't start a wildfire or anything. Not in Georgia. No, not in Georgia. It's too wet where all of us live. Yeah. So many people seemingly

build their houses back every three years in those same areas or every couple years or every year i would never live in one of those places where it's like like whenever i see those people we're gonna rebuild it's like fuck it's a big country this is god telling you to move there's no way i would live in a hurricane zone i wouldn't really even want to live like in that North Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas tornado alley, uh,

place like 20 years of scary. It's one of the few things that have ever happened in my life. They're like completely out of my control. And you're, we're, we're like in the house, in the basement or whatever, whatever hiding.

And it's like, I hope the roll of the dice doesn't come this way or we're going to get sucked up and die yeah like a fence post will impale you 600 feet in the air and yeah yeah there's a thing out there killing people and i hope it doesn't come over here did you have tornado drill stuff in school like grade school yeah yeah go out the hallway heads between your knees we had a i remember in grade school it was like all right tornado drill time and it was like go into the hallway, heads between your knees. We had a, I remember in grade school, it was like, all right, tornado drill time.

And it was like, go into the cubbies, which were like little cutout enclaves in one hallway, and just sit there under. And all I could picture, because I'd seen Twister, and so it was like later grade school, I guess. And I could just picture getting sucked up like one of those cows and just being like, there's nobody in this cubby is going to, and in my head like you know those shitty

little poorly hung hooks where you put your shit back exactly yeah I'm like would I be fast enough to grab one of those just picturing my little body just little feet flapping in the air no

freaking the fuck out dude tornadoes really really frightened me they're really scary and there's no reason to live in a place where they happen that regularly like like my whole life here in georgia i've experienced like five or six like uh we even get here all the time like they test the tornado alarms every like monday morning like you can hear them during office hours where it goes like yeah my town had one of those and it was scary to hear it during office hours where it goes like yeah my town had one of those and it was scary to hear it was scary to hear that thing like rev up it was one of those old style uh like air sirens they're fucking scary i wouldn't i wouldn't live anywhere where

there are earthquakes or tsunamis or tsunamis a different whole different story you know yeah we're all safe from tsunamis yeah well mostly hurricanes especially though like those people in florida who are just every year or and on the coast of south carolina as well and i wouldn't live there fuck it i what hammers were wings lit like myrtle beach all the time doesn't it yeah yeah it does yeah myrtle beach has been fucked a few times that seems scary to live there then i i would not want to be right in Hurricane Alley, or whatever the fuck they call it. Hurricanes are frightening. But at least with hurricanes, I feel like,

like, all right, fucking three weeks from now, hurricane time, whereas tornadoes, it'll be like, hey, there's an extreme thunderstorm. Oh, no, wait, tornadoes are touching down. And it's crazy. We had this a few weeks ago, where, I don't know if you've seen it the sky is like a deep green like algae almost like it's very not as deep as algae but like a green tint on everything and i've got i was like sitting watching some like impractical jokers probably and i've got skylights in my my living room and like just looking out into the sky, just green,

just, and it's like, ah, that's like the number one sign that tornadoes, it turns green for some reason. So they're cool to see on TV, on TV and on YouTube videos. Um,

those storm chasers are, they deserve to get sucked up. That's absurd. What are you doing? Why, why, why do you do that did you ever watch those shows oh yeah oh yeah it just seems so scary like it's faster than you and you're chasing it what if it decides well yeah probably not yeah the cars are faster like they can get away from it's just if they end up in the in the path of it and then it sort of

diverts and then heads their way and catches them it could fuck them up i don't know i could see doing that that does look kind of fun um i remember yeah i watched that movie twister when i was a kid too i saw that in theaters like 90 early 90s 93 probably that was a good movie at the time uh helen hunt and maybe bill paxton yeah that good fucking movie. I mean, that scared me. Tornado or Twisted Necks. And Philip Seymour Hoffman, I think. Oh, R.I.P. Yeah, R.I.P.

He was great. Too soon. He was so good. What was that movie where he talks like that guy with the high voice? Oh, Capote. Yeah, that was great. I didn't know shit about Capote, but after that movie, I was so enthralled with it.

Like, he played it so well. Yeah, I watched him the other day in Red Dragon. Have you ever seen that? Oh, yeah, the wrap-up movie after Silence of the Lambs? Yes. It's actually a prequel. It's a prequel to Silence of the Lambs. And the fucking...

The Red Dragon super glues him to that fucking old school wooden wheelchair and bites his tongue out of his mouth. Yeah, that's a fun way to go. And then he burns him alive. Yeah, so that wasn't even the worst part of his day. Yeah, it wasn't the worst part. Well, it started out pretty poorly. yeah it wasn't the worst part that's one like uh you know you'll watch those those torture silly ridiculous horror movies for some reason the whole like cutting out of the tongue thing is one of the scariest because it's

like now you're just like forever silence that That's probably because every single fucking job I have is 100% contingent on my ability to talk. All of them. Everything. If I can't talk, I can't make a living. I'm not good at a lot. What am I going to do? What am I going to do if I can't talk? I'm fucked.

I'm absolutely fucked. And so I'll watch that and I'll be like, oh, no. I'm fucked. I'm absolutely fucked. And so I'll watch that and I'll be like, oh no. I hope you're in steel construction or something where you have other skills. I'm not handy enough to go become a plumber. Yeah, I know what you mean though.

I don't like that. The blinding is really bad too. Whenever they blind someone. I remember the old Bible movies when they blind someone uh i remember the old like bible movies like when they blind samson just be like fuck straight to the blinding huh every like end of the movie fight one person gets on top and is like just digging in the eyes and it's that's that's right up there with the tongue thing for how scary it is because i always imagine like oh i don't even like to you know i'm not a huge i can put my contacts in just fine but i don't

like it it's not fun i don't like that stuff either my surgery was so fucking scary i was just like it was one of those things i was just like look this is gonna happen yeah this is gonna happen you know it's what i tell the women look this is gonna happen like it never let someone's resistance keep you from getting what you want i just had to tell myself i was like this is going to happen it has to happen or we're going to die our eye is going to rot out of our head if we don't do this yeah and i love my eye i like i like my eye and all the things that it does so i was just like all right just accept this even on the uber over there i told the driver

where i was going and why and i was like i was like i'm getting eye surgery today she's like what i was like yeah they're gonna operate on my eye they're gonna they're gonna cut a wedge into my eyelid and remove a chunk of my eyelid and they're going to pinch it back together and sew it up and they're going to cut me over here to like make room so they've got enough eyelid so that my eye still closes and she was like oh no i wouldn't go and i wouldn't go i was like if i had any other option i wouldn't go was like, I have to go or I'm going to die. Trust me, we are at last resort already. This is literally the last resort.

This is it. This is where we're going right now. I can't tell on camera. Do you have any remaining scarring? Just a little bit. Just very little. I put that Moderma stuff on there, and it's been slowly fading away. And I got a lot of sun recently, so it's sort of blended in pretty well.

I use that Maderma stuff, but I never remember to do it too regular. I'll use it maybe two nights a week on this area under here where you get stretch marks. And I can't rip on Maderma i know it works i just you gotta make it two times a week you gotta make it part of your routine so like like whatever you do like after the shower like like i always do the exact same thing you know it's like it's like deodorant and then like facial like moisturizer and then like my eye cream and my uh um the maderma and then brushing my teeth like it's it's all like right there in a row like on my uh on my counter so like i i can't skip it it's part of the part of the plan i need to do that i need to start using that maderma you uh

you feeling better you good buddy i hope so i don't know i'm just uh not feeling my best like i'm the ac in this room is cranked down to like 61 my feet are cold but my hands are sweating and i've got a headache but we'll push through we'll make it it's it's like you can't not feel well without thinking about corona as a possibility anymore yeah i i've i've gone back and forth on that on that thing three fucking times about how serious i think it is i don't even know like ships in the night with you like in the beginning i was like this shit's gonna be so real it's gonna be awful and you were like who fucking cares then like a few months in i'm like

this shit is so overblown it is still serious serious, but it's not nearly as intense as, as you know, what we've done in response to it. And you're like, I don't know, man, I don't want my heart and lungs to pop. And it's like, I don't, I'm at the point also where it's like, it's like, which way is the wind blowing? You know? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know anymore. I, I do know that like, I don't want a cold. I don't want to cough. Right.

Like I don't want any fucking thing. And I'm not, it's not like the hoops I'm jumping through to prevent COVID are so arduous that it's even worth complaining about. Like those people, those anti-mask people are such fucking pieces of shit pussies. Like comparing it to like burkas and comparing it to, to like dildos in your mouth or whatever they're fucking comparing it to.

There's such fucking losers. There's such fucking losers to politicize every fucking thing. Everything's either right or left, right? Like, like down to the kind of fucking toilet paper you use, you pieces of shit. Just,

just try to protect the old people who were, who were like vulnerable to this disease. Just like you should be protecting them from every flu and cold and cough and sneeze and everything always. Right. Like, like I don't think it's the black plague, although the black would be a whole lot easier to cure these days. It's just penicillin. Oh yeah. It's, it's, it's fucking, it's antibiotics. It's, it's no big deal. Yeah. But,

some fucking it's antibiotics it's it's no big deal yeah but but i don't i don't think it's the black plague but i also don't think it's bullshit at the same time um yeah i don't want it i don't want it but i'm not terrified of it at the same time same i think red will wear it it was a recent piece of news in italy something so as you know italy had it really bad and then it got better it's kind of like what new york did where it's not bad anymore um 50 of the people that had it are still saying they have some sort of leftover symptoms you know a little respiratory function degradation typically and and that's the part that like if you told me what are you going to be really sick for a week it's's like, oh, that sucks. But I've been there before with a permanent chance of, I'm sorry,

with a chance of permanent respiratory degradation. I'm like, oh wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't want that at all. Yeah.

And it doesn't seem like there's any, I, I, I, this is one thing I don't know what to fucking believe because I see so much shit. And like throughout the whole thing, like the world health organization,

the CDC have been tremendously inconsistent. Like the world health organization at the start was saying, don't wear masks. It won't help. They wrote articles about that. And then month later, Oh, where are your masks do this?

And obviously a mask helps like it's keeping particulate, not from going directly into someone's eyes or something, but like, I, I don't know. Like some people are like oh yeah so 40 50 of people are getting long-term problems and other people are like oh that only happens in in nursing homes i i really am at a loss like i don't i don't know who to trust the inconsistency is so bizarre because it when a flu happens obviously some people get sicker than others, but some people don't fucking have heart damage. Nobody gets heart damage from the flu.

You're like, yeah, Bob got the flu. He can never walk upstairs again. Wait, what? What flu is this? It's the new flu. And 5% of people, it makes them shit themselves uncontrollably too. You know that no what else does it do i'll take the stairs thing you can't taste anything ever again wait

wait it's like all these ridiculous one of the problems is that uh like it's so new we're learning about it along the way right so i might have uh projected projected a wish cast onto something taylor was saying but like he's like oh they said the mask were bad and now they say they're good i don't know if they were wrong or if they were learning along the way they said kids aren't impacted and then i heard like kids are getting these weird rashes and i think we're kind of back to like kids aren't impacted very much anymore they said the mortality rate was really high and now it seems like the mortality rate isn't quite as high as it used to be they say 50 of italians have long-term respiratory problems and

but i don't know i'm not seeing that everywhere else and i'm just like because we're learning about this on the fly things i knew become not true anymore uh things that i didn't know or like become new i don't know it's we're not really well educated and we don't know how we don't know the impact of this thing and it's easy to see everything they got wrong and paint it as a lie but sometimes they're just learning you know the respiratory remember the respirators were like the hot ticket we needed so many respirators the nation had this respiratory shortage or respirator shortage and then it turned out you didn't really need it i think they were not the best way to treat this thing

i think maybe steroids are better um well the thing about the respirators is and it's what donald trump was always like trying to like be like you know you know what the deal with respirators the deal is that like once you put someone on a respirator a respirator is breathing for you right you know it's a breathingator, a respirator is breathing for you, right? You know, it's a breathing machine because you can no longer fucking breathe. Those people are on death's door. He puts my respirator there. They're almost dead.

So like the, the percentage of people who go on the respirator, who ever recover was very, very low. And he, and he's like, you guys keep talking about the respirators. Do you know the right you know the

respirator numbers right because it's like five percent of the people that go on the respirator live like he's like everybody's saying you want these respirators but really what you're talking about is extending the life of a of a incredibly ill person for another month or something yeah if you're on a respirator you're already in a a very bad, it's not like, it's like, we need more respirators. They're the cure. It's like, no, they're what you do when someone's lungs are completely shot.

Yeah. And, but if they're COVID shot, does that give them a better chance of recovery than compared to like auto accident shot? You know, I would think so. Like if it's an 80 year old who has COVID,

like it's probably already that like okay well this disease finished you and you're kind of just alive because you're on this machine you know yeah i i would i would guess that because the old people have shitty bodies i didn't but like on the other side i'll see stuff that doesn't ring true either where there was a big thing going around recently was like oh cdc sneaks in that only 6 000 people who died actually died solely of covid all the rest had uh you know uh morbid conditions and things and it's like okay that may be true but the number one comorbidity of this seems to be obesity and so if that's one of the comorbidities it's like obviously this hits fat people the hardest we already know that that's like most diseases hit fat people the hardest it's

like okay but it wasn't that there were a hundred thousand fat people in the country and that six thousand of them weren't it's like no the majority of this country is overweight and so like that's a comorbidity that it probably shares over the general population you know so that i was reading that and it's like this seems kind of that one didn't have legs uh but i agree like there are a bunch of people in my universe i'm trying not to say my facebook feed who were like it turns out only 6 000 died from covid it's like oh stop that's like saying woody didn't die from a gunshot woody died from bleeding out it's like yeah well one sort of initiated the other yeah and i'd be alive if it wasn't for the bullet hole and there was no parsing out of it like pneumonia wouldn't have

killed me if it wasn't for covid stop acting like i didn't die of covid yeah or or you wouldn't have gotten pneumonia if you weren't yeah infected with it like like if it came out and it was like 98 000 of the people who died had cancer. You'd be like, whoa! Okay, hold the phone! Like, this is absurd. But when they don't even parse out what the comorbidities are, and it ends up being like being fat, it's like, okay, you're kind of pulling our legs here with this. This is very tricky.

He wasn't going to die from fatness if it wasn't for the COVID. Would have eventually, but not now. Yeah, go ahead, Kyle. I have an AMA question. Would you date a girl with an OnlyFans service? No. She doesn't show her face. How about that? No.

What a loser. I'm not against people who do, but I'm kind of... You're a simp, Kyle. You're dating her! Oh, actually, he's'm kind of... You're a simp, Kyle. You're dating her. Oh, actually, he's the opposite of a simp. Everyone else is. He's the opposite of a simp. You subscribe to OnlyFans, people.

I use Woody's money. That is true. A man being simp-in. Technically, it's not my money anymore. I only subscribe to Loomy. Simp. it's not my money anymore i only subscribe to loomy i don't give a shit i'm a i support content creators he's an alpha simp all right it's different i love that take i'm a job creator i am a job creator he's a hero he's done a heroic

thing we're all lucky there's a lot of people out there who also support content creators. God damn it. I won't be insulted and I won't have my constituents. I won't let you simp shame Taylor. My constituents are voting for you. They click

play, they're voting. I would not be cool with my girlfriend doing OnlyFans. Yeah, I wouldn't care. Might be fun to... I think it's about your attachment to it. So if I were to date a girl, I would feel very jealous of the attention she was giving all these guys online.

That's supposed to be our thing, our secret. That's for me. She doesn't necessarily have to be giving them any attention whatsoever. She tacitly is, though. she's posting naked pictures of herself my only fans is them posting pictures and sometimes they'll like respond in the comments oh it's not like an open chat no i thought it was custom videos this thing i read made it seem like it was custom videos that's why people chose it over like pornhub uh that may be a thing where like you could pay them extra to do that maybe some

girls do that but not everyone does a lot of them just post a picture every other day of their butt aren't those pictures leaked like it seems like if i wanted to see i'm gonna put a man test i'm like being loony right now no i i bet you can't find any well if you do we won't say where you find it but um no i i don't some are like bell delph that's why i was saying a few weeks ago like about bell delphine like i wouldn't pay for her thing because you can just go to bell delph bell delphine patreon on reddit and everything is there like 30 seconds after she posts it uh you know like 20 videos like just the video is 20 and that'll be on there you got her only fans and a patreon uh if i said patreon i

didn't mean to oh no what uh what i meant was um what did i mean let me let me let me look at the name of this subreddit so I get it right. Oh, she's got a Patreon. Do you get nudes of Lumi? No. You get topless if you pay a little extra, but it's mostly her butt. Is it L-U-M-I?

L-U-m-i l-u-m-i but her only fans is um secret loomy one word 35 a month she thinks she's seven times better than netflix what are you talking about it's not three times i don't know about bel dofine yeah she makes a ton of money on there. You're right. You cannot find these. I thought for sure someone would re-upload them and do her dirty, but Bing doesn't have it. No, that would be cool. It's not there. Yeah.

But in most of these, I'm literally on there now, on her OnlyFans. It's her butt or like upskirts and stuff like that and then like if she's topless then she like blurs it out or puts like a heart over it and then underneath it'll be i guess she has a way to like private message everyone who subscribes to her and it'll it'll be like short video of me on my bed spanking myself from the same angle. You can see my perky nipple. It's really hard to do with one hand, though.

Do you think you could do it harder for me? Leave a handprint. Unlock for $30. And it's like it's three seconds of her spanking herself for $30. And I'm just like, man, it was really hard to do, though. Who are these people paying this? You can see that a lot of them have uh it i i think you can if if if like where it says tips means that they if the tips are what are used to unlock them anyway but in any case um you know it's hundreds and hundreds of dollars

that she's making a day it would seem just by looking at i don't know this photo's got 115 into it's $35 to be a member of the the page and how many not for loomy loomies is like 12 bucks oh i don't okay i feel so loomy is a big name to me i don't know maybe i don't know who the the rankings on this site but she should be making 100 grand a month if she's the top of the game she's not are we talking about bell delphine is is she's the top of the game okay well i don't know that she's taught i don't follow this stuff very much at all but but but you know loomy's a twitch streamer yeah she's pretty big on twitch she's got over 200 000 followers she has an old viewership i guess i'm saying look dr disrespect um who's the fortnight guy with the blue hair oh um i'm spacing out too i don't know okay that guy shroud you know when we look at the top of this

dr we did he's saying someone else uh the fortnight guy god i've got like mixer in my head he went there he's one of the biggest streamers in the fucking world right he's super huge and i should know his name anyway it's on the tip of my tongue i can't think of it either i'm just gonna google fortnight streamer i can't get this wrong or biggest streamer in the world would probably do uh yeah yeah yeah so anyway i know you guys didn't this is the biggest fucking streamer in the world dr disrespect ninja shroud like these guys are making big money per month you know they gotta be making six digits a month some of them probably have had seven digit months and when you tell me she's making hundreds a day i'm like wait what so you tell this industry must be much smaller, I guess. If a big name is making hundreds a day.

Well, on Twitch and on other services, I'm just talking about what she's making here on her OnlyFans page. Dr. Disrespect doesn't have an OnlyFans page. And Lumi, you know, she's got like... I'm comparing industries is what I'm going for there. Yeah. Well, I just think that she's not world famous or anything. She's just a streamer that I like.

Okay. But maybe she's not as big in the universe as she is in my head. I've seen her have like a thousand people watching sometimes. Okay. Something like that. That's good. You know, she's not gigantic or anything, but she does well. Leave a comment, guys.

How much do you think I'd earn if I slapped my butt in an OnlyFans page? You gotta do more than that i mean there's a lot of content here woody you do not look as good in these panties as she does well you haven't seen it in quite some time i've been working out i fair enough i have no retort. Kyle, did smoking weed change your outlook on life in any way? I know I've become much kinder and more empathetic in the past couple years of smoking.

It didn't make me kinder or empathetic. No, I don't think it really changed my outlook on life. I took it as a DMT parallel. Like Rogan says, it upgraded his RPG character. No, I didn't get that at all. It made everything else I did more fun and enjoyable, though. I'm going to play some Fallout later later tonight it'll be better yeah it'd be so much better high it'd be so much better i used to call it i used to call getting high

and playing skyrim skyrim adventures can you be like what are you doing i'm like i'm going on a skyrim adventure high room high room it should have been high fuck fuck kitty was thinking it the whole time just what a retard it rhymes yeah i know i didn't change my outlook at all or anything like that it just made things more enjoyable whether it was uh like going like riding in the backseat of a car or eating a good meal or playing miniature golf or magic, the gathering or a video game or sex or eating. I can't think of anything that's not, that's not better while you're high.

Driving comes to mind. No comment. Yeah, that is funny. This person said it made them more empathetic. We did? That's interesting. I've never heard that one.

I've been asked a lot if like, if we were in the right environment, like Colorado, Kyle's post-probation and that whole thing, if I would do it. And I think the answer is yes. Oh, awesome. What we're going to do, we're all going to meet up in Colorado

as soon as Kyle's probation is over we're going to get a nice little cabin in real life PKA Woody and I are going to ski yeah I'm kind of excited about that part too that's going to be fun and then at night we will get so

silly high and go spend hundreds of dollars more on magic cards and do that again that was so much me me just and kyle spent an absurd amount of money because like at the end of the day like we we've all got similar personalities even be in something like this and it's like what are you guys going to do well i want to order a lot of food to get really high. And then let's hit up that Barnes & Noble again and wipe them out of their core 2012 packs or whatever. We just go and drop so much money to make a new pack.

It was a lot of fun. We just kept going back to Walmart and just being like, you know, you pick up one pack. And you were kind of explaining to me how it worked. He's like, yeah, you have this. Each pack has like three good cards and one rare card. I'm just like, I guess I better get 10. I was so used

to being with, from years ago, with friends being like, hey, magic is so much fun. Just buy a couple packs. I'll even provide you the rest of the cards, and that way you'll have your own cards to take home if you're interested and i was prepared in my head for kyle to be like this is just too much man and kyle's just like well then i don't want three packs and you grabbed a booster box of like 30 and you spent like 140 dollars yeah and then we had what is one of the most fun things other than playing it's as fun as playing actually sitting there high as fuck opening packs and looking at the

pictures and yeah it was really fun yeah i'd never seen a magic card before so like cracking open entire booster box was really fucking fun and we played like hours and hours and hours of in-person magic it was a ton of fun that was a blast yeah we should definitely do it and when i got home i was just like buying dice and buying those like mats that you play on and like i went on ebay and bought somebody's entire collection of magic the gathering cards i remember you sent me the link and you're like worthwhile or no it was like you were pricing it as though they were stolen and so you may as well have bought them it was an absurd amount i don't think a lot of them made it do you think i don't know

oh go on i don't think a lot of them made it through the move i don't really remember i think i gave a bunch of them to kitty because she still plays and uh and i think maybe some or maybe like stored somewhere at my dad's house i don't even fucking know but i had thousands and thousands of magic gathering cards yeah and just as important as maybe more important than your willingness to smoke the weed woody are you willing to buy some magic cards and play magic with it's actually i'll try i don't understand it at all like all right you pick it up i'm gonna tap this car i'm gonna turn this other one 90 degrees and i'm like they're all the same cards you have now so when you're tapping those cards like like like when you're turning your like color cards that's like

uh you know in a game when you like use a magic spell or something and it uses x amount of your like mana your your magic energy that's just you doing that to represent that you have less of it yeah yeah yeah that card is spent for the turn like you you would pick it up so fast like i kyle had never even seen a card i had him like devising strategies like two three games in on his own like it if you like strategy games which you do like he would you'll remember taylor was our representative at pax east and he played this girl and uh onslaught was way into it like you were like defending cod youtube's honor and you beat her once and then i did she beat you once or twice we went we only played two games we went one and one split she and i yeah that was that was fun i remember onslaught everybody else was

like let's go to the cod thing and onslaught with his like just i still. I remember Onslaught. Everybody else was like, let's go to the COD thing and Onslaught with his like, just, I still, I haven't heard Onslaught's voice in eight years and I still remember how like nice and gentle and comfortable. He's like, oh man, what? No, you guys go ahead. Bash, go ahead. I'm going to watch. So what are you doing? He's like asking, what are you doing here?

Oh, okay. Oh, but you can't tell me why you're doing that because, okay. Okay. Oh, that was fun. Oh, but you can't tell me why you're doing that because... Okay, okay. Oh, that was fun. Yeah, magic is great. You'll really enjoy it. It's just as much fun with the people you're playing with, like bantering and talking shit. Sounds like I'll enjoy everything if I'm high.

Yeah. Actually, you know what? Let's teach you to play before you get high. That was the best part. It was like, I got so high and then learned to play like i don't know if i would have learned faster or not let high of course with the time dilation it's really hard to calculate yeah it really is you're like how long have we been playing five minutes or four hours no idea no just a long oh well that's the third delivery man so it's been at least a couple hours

dude the guy that we rented that house from was so fucking pissed off at me why because of the state of the place all that food bags it wasn't the food bags it was like i'm trying to think of his biggest complaints so i think he was real mad about cigarette butts he was real mad about cigarette butts. He was super pissed about cigarette butts. I think there were cigarette butts in the backyard. And I think that, um, and he said that there were cigarette butts in the sink. Now, the only way that I know that cigarette butts could have gotten in the sink was if somebody put their cigarette in a beer bottle and then on cleanup day, the beer bottle got dumped down the sink and nope. And you didn't realize what you were doing. But I'm, I just i just remember like i just i hadn't been home long and i'm like sitting on the

edge of my bed my phone rings from colorado and i'm like what the fuck and i answer it he's just super mad and and i'm just he's yelling at me for a while and then i start yelling at him i'm like this is bullshit we didn't do that there no there are not cigarette no one smokes cigarettes in your house because we definitely didn't do that no one smoked fucking cigarettes in his house that didn't fucking happen i was like i was like that's bullshit that's bullshit and if you're gonna say that that happened then we're gonna end this right fucking here we can get we can get lawyers involved because that didn't fucking happen and i'll produce everybody was there and they'll all swear in a fucking bible that didn't fucking happen in the court of law that didn't fucking

happen he's like all right well maybe there wasn't cigarettes smoked in the house but there were certainly smoked in the backyard i'm like yeah in the backyard there's no no smoking sign out there he's like all right well well there was a cigarette butt in the sink and it was like by the end of it he was fine but it was like i spent like 30 minutes arguing with that cocksucker about like the things jizz did to his own yeah i don't so i obviously wasn't there but i feel like there's a divide on cigarettes you know sometimes we have um not lately but people would work on the house or whatever masonry and they're just stomping out cigarette butts in my yard and i think to a cigarette smoker that's nothing you know you throw your cigarette butts wherever they land nine years later they're gone right the sun takes them out like what's the big

deal but to a non-smoker it's like oh my gosh do you see me eating wendy's in your yard and just tossing the empty french fry container and be like nine years later you won't see it anymore like i would never right and there's this divide and um like even the smell like you can't really smoke inside anywhere anymore but you know back in the day it'd be like fuck now i smell like cigarettes now like i'm gonna bring this home i'm gonna sit in my car and for some period of time that seat will smell like cigarettes because my shirt smells like it and like you've really made a group decision here but smokers they're i don't think they're intentionally like inflicting this upon you

i think they just see it as a non-event that and to be fair we were all and be fair we were all smoking cigarettes like we were there we were drinking beers and smoking weed and smoking cigarettes like chiz had cigarettes and he was happy to share so i was gonna smoke i was gonna smoke those too he smoked all the things do you still smoke cigarettes at all no you're down to zero fully yeah yeah that's been for a long time um but when i'm with chiz i smoke you can't smoke. You can't help it. You can't help but smoke when you're with Chiz. It's like... Exactly. It's exactly...

It's like if you quit heroin and then you went and hung out with a junkie. Chiz smokes cigarettes like he's mad at them. I don't think Chiz... I don't think he smoked at all in the guest house. No, he went outside outside he wouldn't smoke he wouldn't smoke inside on you no smoking inside is unbelievably rude anyway because like that cigarette smoke fucking sticks like you smoke and blow it on the couch that's going to be your new

scent for a very long time he wouldn't smoke inside and and and he didn't smoke inside out there i guess like a lot of non-smokers like if there's even a hint of it you're very like hyper aware the guest house did not smell like cigarettes i was people that did my kitchen because like there was the smell like because they came in through my garage to get to my kitchen everything and like you walk out in the garage like it would reek reek of fucking smoke but they put it in like a giant quick trip like like 64 ounce cup. And they just left it there for like the two days they were they were like cutting and doing the new countertops. And like by two days in, it was like up to the 35 ounce mark of just piles, piles of cigs. It was outrageous.

I'm surprised they got any work done. Like how long did it take to smoke a cigarette? Five minutes? No. There were hours of cigarettes in there that's like when i think like like someone smokes like two packs a day right like a very heavy smoker 40 cigarettes you're saying not five minutes give me three maybe you're usually multitasking too like like i would i would smoke while i drove i would i i there would never be

a it's fair you know it's but in this case they had to go outside there were kitchen construction so they need oh no that's a point stop yeah yeah if if they can't i guess what you're really saying is like those are points where they were not working on the job that they're being paid to do yeah that's a good point yeah so it seems almost like cheating. Cheating? Where it's like, you know, where you would work. I think you said this, Woody, where you're like, all of your mates in there at Cisco would be like, all right, well, once an hour, fucking cigarette time.

And you were just like, this is bullshit. I'm going to start smoking because I want the 10-minute break every hour. Yeah, it was the job before cisco qad and as far as i know i'm the inventor of the secondhand smokers break and i would just go outside fucking enjoy outside for five minutes they had a little like it was just a sidewalk nature trail type thing but it was beautiful the campus was like a plus and i'm like fuck it is nice out i'm going for a five minute walk and I'll come back. Why do only smokers get this? The whole coffee cup full,

like dumb, dumb sick suckers that you got there. Thought about dumb dumbs and forever. Those were the best little suckers. You got those when you were in the doctor's. Yeah, but they were good. You don't call them lollipops.

No, we call them dumb dumbs. Like, I think that's the brand. Yeah, right. were good. You don't call them lollipops? No, we call them dum-dums. I think that's the brand. Yeah, right, but you don't call them lollipops. No, we didn't call them lollipops. Something a little homoerotic about calling something a lolly. I hear you. I don't doubt it, but in New Jersey, I think that's the standard. Yeah, did you guys have those suckers that were like,

they were really popular in elementary school for me. They came in like 30 or 40 different flavors and they were like really like pink lemonade and like toasted coconut and they would come and do fundraisers at school and sell them for 50 cents a piece are you sure those aren't dumb does no these are big they're like they're like they're like really big not really yeah tootsie we never the tootsie no they're like it's like a perfect sphere and it's on a stick and it's like a small company that makes them. It's not like a national brand. I never got those.

Nobody ever came and sold us suckers. I remember being so disappointed when you would think you were getting a Tootsie Pop, but it was a Dubba Bubba or Hubba Bubba Pop and then you'd get to the middle of it and you just have the worst calcified gum of all time

you're like pulling teeth out trying to chew it i found them so they're uh they're called original gourmet lollipops choose to smile and look at look at the i think this is them that's what they look like but they came in like crazy flavors like blueberry and cream cherry cheesecake caramel apple hot cinnamon hot fudge sundae orange splash orange creamsicle mocha latte a couple of these look good they're really fucking good pina colada pink lemonade pink lemonade's awesome i still remember that from a kid but they sell them swirl it sounds even on here they're 50 cents a piece they're 55 cents a piece if you order them but like that's what they were at school they would do like fundraisers and sell these things and i would like clean out my dad's coffee can of like change and show it with like ten dollars of fucking

quarters and be like i'll take the lot. There's moneybags Myers over there, nabbing up lemonade again, walking around in your pockets like a king. Fucking love those things. Yeah, those were those little treats throughout the school day really helped. They helped break up

the monotony. What do you use for a water container there, Kyle? Curious. This is a boozeo is it water in there it sounds like water with ice yeah it's water with ice deal boozeo yeah i got you know what i was 40 ounce boozeo because my i had a 20 ounce and i was just constantly refilling it um i fill this thing up about four times a day. Yeah. Are you feeling great being that hydrated?

No. No. Pissing a lot, though. That's good. I mean, I always feel better when I'm drinking a ton of water. So I was thinking, Woody, like Twitch related stuff. It's $150 to get Gilbert Gottfried to record something for me. And the little notifications that will pop up if you sub to me, I think it

would be a good idea to pay Gilbert Gottfried to say something. I just need to think about what I want to record. What a waste! I was thinking, yeah. Subscribe to this idiot! You made a bad financial decision.

Really? That was my first attempt at Gilbert Gottfried. It was really good. I'll just do it myself. That's a good financial decision. Damn, I'm saving 150 bucks. Now I'm making money. I'll do it for you for 75.

Undercutting Gilbert Gottcutting that's funny i hadn't even thought of the um cameo for that yeah it's just i was thinking about that and i'd seen a gilbert godfrey one before and it just it stuck in my mind because he's so unique and it's so memorable my i have two for the i think that subscription it's the dumb zombies thing it needs to be updated i thought i had something better but i can't recall for the donation um is me with like tapping my feet with the dog collar shock which is pretty good it's short and it's funny that's a good one yeah i'm i want to change those often because it's been like a week and a half and i still have mel gibson's audio playing what does it say every time someone

says he goes uh if someone donates money it says has any relationship ever worked out with you no i thought for sure it was going to be the blowjobs in the jacuzzi. That's if someone subs. He goes, you should suck my cock because I deserve it. And he's so much venom dripping off of his words. I couldn't find the one with, you know, before the jacuzzi in good enough quality to even use because it's all

trash quality because it's all from, you know, someone recording a voicemail. But yeah, I want there's so much potential to be funny with those little alerts i want to take advantage of it yeah yeah yeah twitch is a good time i've been having a lot of fun with it i'm i still haven't won another game of fall guys statistically it's almost impossible to play three over 300 games and only win once. Jesus Christ. How many players are in a game?

160. 60? So you can't beat... Oh! I get to the finals all the time. You should have locked in five wins by now at least. You jump... Actually, no, you don't jump on there because you'll win faster and I don't...

Don't play. But like... I kind of want to go get a spite win. Go try and get a spite win. It'll take you longer than you think. Or it won't. There's the different rounds, six rounds. I make it to the finals all the fucking time.

It's just... I never get... The competition in the finals is always the same one. Is it harder than what? Winning a PUBG. That's all i have to compare it to where there's like 100 players and you know everybody's playing solo so there's 100 of you fighting in a first person shooter i'd win three a night you know i like well and also it's i mean i'm sure there's an aspect of luck to that also there's a tremendous amount of luck and circumstance and fall guys like okay you sometimes there'll be those little spinny whirlybird things we have to jump over them but if you like get hit at the right angle it'll

propel you further and so sometimes you know you'll be perfectly ahead of the pack and then you just get rammed in the back of the head from somebody who got fired and hit you and now you're you know back in the thick of it it's i do see a lot of like youtubers being like my first fall guys win and and so that kind of says to me that there is some luck involved and it's not so easy to win landmark struggles to do well he's very good at video games yeah so he killed it in the punisher fucking competition congrats to him yes they had a big they had this big competition on twitch um to it was like a escape from tarkov competition yeah 100 players they wanted the smallest map and the most player kills Scav kills don't count. Go get player kills. And they started with very low-grade, weak accounts. So you have to do well to get their stuff to keep the momentum going.

You die a couple times, and now you're behind the eight ball because you're walking in there with shitty armor and a shitty pistol trying to earn good armor and a good gun, but he has a big advantage over you. Landmark just crushed it. He lives up to the hype. I'm sorry, I feel like I cut you off before you finished, but okay.

It's really neat. There was a time when Wings of Redemption claimed to be the best Call of Duty player in the world, and he laid that claim because he was the quickest YouTuber to get 10th prestige, and one of the quickest people to get 10th prestige around. But we all kind of know that he might be the fastest YouTuber to get it, but there's such a big world out there.

Somebody is going to be really good. Landmark is the best, probably, slayer on Twitch, but when they opened it to 100 people, I see these guys who average like six viewers with 400 million rubles, which is a ton. It's a tremendous. I have a lot and I have 40 million. So 400 million is crazy. And I'm like, damn, you know, I wonder how Landmark will do when we start shining the spotlight equally on these crushing it little guys that just aren't popular yet.

The answer is Landmark beats everybody. And that's aren't popular yet. The answer is landmark beats everybody. And that's real. Yeah. Yeah. Congrats to him. I, um, that's the reason I guess he's,

he's amazing at the game. I watch his, uh, I watch him a lot. I watched him. I watched, uh, probably two or three of his YouTube videos today.

Just, just shitting on people. It's, it's fun. You know, it's a really frustrating game. I've never been all that much better than average. It's really fun to watch somebody who just shits on everyone.

There's a little bit of revenge in watching him do bad things to those people. You're like, he's probably getting some of the people who killed me before. Statistically, he definitely is. Like so many have killed me. So it's, I mean, he just shits on them. Just playing with his food, just shitting on them. Like just running right at them. It's a tactical shooter. Like most people like creep around, like, like crouch walking. And in this game, Taylor, you can, you can crouch really low and move at, at like the

speed of molasses so that you're actually silent, but like, but you're just barely moving like this, like graining no ground. He just holds fucking W. He's just just running right at them. They're, They're on either side of a hallway in different rooms looking down the hallway at him and he just throws a grenade to make them hide and then just

runs straight at them because he knows the grenade's not going to go off for five seconds and he's got time to get to them before it goes off and then just runs right into the room, kills this guy, turns around and kills the other guy it's like those guys were waiting for him they knew where he was they were like we're safe in here bobby don't worry and landmark's just like no no he's just a bully in the game it's

great there's one grenade that blows up especially slowly and i don't like that grenade because when i throw it the other person never dies from it He has a chance to get away from it. What Landmark does is he throws the grenade. He runs towards the grenade. He catches you running away from it instead of, like, being tactical and defensive, like you're trying to escape it. Kills you while you're running from his grenade. Then he gets away.

And how is that a normal play? But it's normal for him. He's crazy. It it's great i really enjoy watching him play um great guy too i like him i like i like him as a person when i first started watching him i couldn't really tell much about his personality but i've watched probably 100 hours of him like streaming and stuff now i genuinely like him nice guy yeah good um it's good when those people are nice too i envy. He has a non-stop conversation with his chat, but it's all in the form of donations.

You'll tell a joke and he'll be like, he earned $5 with that. He'll smile. I like when somebody donates $5 or whatever and they're like, hey, what do you think about this, this, and that? He'll just go, what do you mean? And go back to playing.

He'll donate $5 more. Oh, I meant this, this, and that. Oh. I don't really understand. Could you expand on that? He'll do that. It's exactly what you said. It's a very expensive conversation they're having with him.

Yeah. He's a financial genius. I think he has a master's in finance. And that makes him interesting to me in another way. He just works so hard at the Twitch thing, it exploded. And I guess he's putting his day job on hold right now while he makes uh i don't know a brazilian dollars a month uh doing the twitch thing job on hold permanently oh yeah he's i mean why wouldn't he he's probably how many subs does he have probably 15 000 closer to 20

is that right goodness gracious okay so he's making money i I hear you, Taylor, but I don't think subs are his main source. Have you watched a landmark stream? No. The donations are one after another. It's just like every 30 seconds he earns another $5 off donations. That's insane. Well, then, yeah. Then he's probably making at least as much off donos as he is from the subs yeah 19,500

subscribers he's 17th overall on twitch um on uh twitchtracker.com he's got uh how low does it go I want to know where I am let's see where I am

where am I at oh do you have to pay for this I want to know where I am. Let's see where I am. Where am I at? Oh, do you have to pay for this? No. I'll get you. I got it. I'm doing it for you. All right, there you are.

You are... Who's you? Woody. You are ranked 4,007th. Kind of a big deal. In what? Subs, I guess. There are two Woodys, though, I think. Maybe I'm on the wrong one. No, this seems

about right. Woody's Gamer Tag? Yeah, there's two Woody's Gamer Tags, though. Oh, so... Yeah, you're 4,709th. Oh, you have to... I have to allow them to track my subs. I just never did that. Okay. Apparently what he did. I don't remember doing this,

but okay. 19,500 subscribers. Outrageous. And he's just kind of cruising right now, too. It's not like he's... If fucking Tarkov 3 comes out, or if some new first-person shooter comes out, or some new Tarkov 3 comes out or if like some new first person shooter comes out or some new Tarkov competitor comes out, he'll be the number one guy at that.

And he'll garner a whole new like fan base and just keep growing. It's great. I love to see him succeed. But yeah, Woody's right. Like he's got those 19,500 subscribers, you know, bringing him 250 a month each. But then he's a big boy. He's getting more than the $250 cut, I would wager. Maybe.

But he's also... Because he's new to this. Like, he's only been doing this since... It's probably a year now. That's true. That's true. But, you know, whenever he sells merch, he just sells out, like, instantly.

And the TTS is crazy on his channel taylor you are 3854 i thought there'd be a bigger gap you're about a thousand me yeah how do how do they even do that i don't know what this rank means if you've got way more channel views and like a hundred thousand more followers i don't know how they rank it. I'm not even at 25,000. I just guessed it was subs, but I don't know. Follow me on my ranking, everyone. If that's what helps with the ranking, I don't know.

Or what you get for ranking. I'll be the ranking on this site that I've never used. Oh, man. This is Gilbert Godfrey.frey idea is a good one. Yeah, More Plates, More Dates got him to do a thing for him once. Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, really? Yeah.

Anybody have him? Well, Greg Doucette copies More Plates videos a lot. And so – I see where this is going. And he also – Greg Douc said sounds like Gilbert Godfrey, he's, he's, he's yelling and he's got this, this is a really annoying voice. And, uh, and so he more plates, more dates uploaded the video as a YouTube video. And it's just him.

He's like, ah, I need a new video today. Let's see, Go to popular. More plates, more dates. Well, let's just copy that. Does he do that? Yeah. Yeah, he does that a lot. And I told you about that Greg Doucette guy before.

I was like, hey, check out this guy. He kind of knows his stuff stuff but he's also a real piece of shit very lame more plates more dates he's got 175k subs and this other guy's over 700 000 just just sniping him he's uh he's you know he's very popular he's a you know a many-time professional bodybuilder. He's a kinesiologist or something like that. He's got an interesting channel. He does very similar content to Derek. I have the top comment on Derek's video today. More plates, more dates. Good news.

Delts, delts, delts, delts, delts. And then mewing for Sundayay don't forget your mewing boys it's a thing where i guess the objective is to like give yourself better cheekbones and you press your tongue into the top of your mouth all the time and just sort of widen your jaw and the doctor who came up with it is something you maybe I'm, I'm half right on this. And he did it for years to see if there was any change in his skull. And I do not need a wider face. I'm not going to look like that header.

I love those photos. The best ones are the ones where it's like is there something wrong with them i tell them it's shopped or not those are always the funniest shots yeah i mean i just popped over to landmark he's got 7 000 people watching right now he always does yeah that's not even a big number for him like it could be nine nine is like the high end of average yeah that's a fuck yeah and he just crushes it it's it's if you watch it you don't have to watch for long to see something cool that's what's not nice about landmark streams it's like you if you if you watch for an hour you going to see a game that blows you the fuck away within that hour. If you watch for 20 minutes, you're probably going to see something that's ridiculous.

He's just that good. Yeah. He'll do silly shit just to fuck with people. He'll jump off roofs on top of people. This is a game that's kind of realistic in some ways. When you jump off a roof, you break both your legs in this game. You're crippled and but he'll still just jump off the fucking roof and like you call it batmanning somebody because you know batman jumps off the roof and kills you well not kills you but beats

you up but so he'll here we go and just jump off the fucking roof and land on top of them and shoot them with a machine gun it's hilarious yeah he's really good at tarkov yeah he'll go in and kill everybody on the map that's the thing that like i mean i've done that with a team before it's like yeah we got them all we got them all kyle got two larry got seven devon got four we got them all but landmark will go in by himself and he'll get them all it's outrageous yeah i'm trying to kill sanitar i don't think you've played the game since sanitar got i haven't um the problem is a real laser beam he's a problem he shoots too far i will get off tarkov talk in a second problem is he also is attractive so whenever i get into a fight with him a team comes and now there's a bigger problem and i it's like if i could just slowly like work at him and and choose my battles

then maybe i'd get him but i haven't had him i haven't beat him without a team yet i've beaten him three times but never solo gotcha yeah i'm waiting on the cultist and i might i might i might pop back in but i am a little upset by the fucking the cheaters that i see and the weight system i don't know i just want a new game i guess the weight system complaint i think is genuine the cheater one i got a little influenced by the subreddit talking about wild cheating but when i play like i don't think i've ever reported anyone for cheating i've never been confident enough like a real speed hacker getting me like you get one tapped in the head but i mean heck i won't tap people in the head sometimes like

that's just part of the game you don't know that i've never had obvious cheating get me. I don't know. Yeah, that makes sense. I have had obvious cheating before. I have. It's that thing where somebody's using like 855 and they spray your fucking visor and so you can see the impacts and it's just and it's like, he just shot me eight

times in the fucking face, but I'm wearing a level three visor and he's shooting level two fucking ammo. We got to run. We got to run. Like, you don't want to. You can't fight that. It's speed hack is when I know for sure they're cheating. Like anyone who plays a lot of games knows exactly what your movement looks like.

You can be really sensitive to it. It's like that guy's moving too fast. He is clearly a hacker. I've had a hacker kill us and then go into chat and mock us you know he's like i'm making 200 a day with my hacks fuck you and it's like oh well i don't know i'm not impressed yeah and also by the way bitch you're bragging to me about two hundred dollars fuck you you know there's why there's not a lot no it's not you know you can earn two hundred dollars a day honestly you can earn more than that yeah i don't like that i don't i don't like that there's a whole market built around

cheating it's got to have more cheaters than any other game like like it has to that there's a whole market built around cheating. It's got to have more cheaters than any other game. Like, it has to because there's a market to profit from doing the cheating, you know? And it's a popular game. Right? Like, there's other games where that exists too, right? The one, didn't Dick Masterson play a game? Eve, maybe? With Starships or something?

Yeah. Yeah, he did. I don't know. i don't think i'm gonna be going back to it anytime soon i haven't been jonesing for it um i watch i you know i watch him play and that's that kind of gets my gives me my gives me my tarkov fix i've been thinking about playing some rpgs some story some story stuff lately like i'm gonna play fallout in a few minutes after the show and i was thinking about playing some dead space the other day i hadn't played that on pc ever i some story some story stuff lately like i'm gonna play fallout in a few minutes after the show and i was thinking about playing some dead space the other day i hadn't played that on pc ever i don't think so i'd like to see what that's like but i don't really want to play anything like tarkov

right now i wish there was a i wish a triple a studio made guys by getting a couple wins your mic did a weird thing oh i was saying you could saying you could show me what's what in Fall Guys by knocking out two wins real quick. See if you're as good as you think. How's it going to make you feel if I do? I'll be pretty aggravated, honestly. If you pop in and play maybe 30 games and get two wins, it would be upsetting.

Because there's just no... You won't. You won't get two wins within 30 games. get two wins it would be upsetting like because there's just no you won't you won't get two wins within 30 games i bet i bet you 30 games there's no i don't want to play it though is the thing like that's in my that's in my column i think there's a possibility that we're wrong about fall guy because i was here with minecraft before i ever played minecraft i was like this is the dumbest game it looks stupid it is People, what, build a house and set it on fire. This is the dumbest gameplay ever. And then you play Minecraft and you're like, oh, actually, this is more fun than I expected. I am at that first stage with Fall Guys. I'm like, wait a minute. You're what, trying to take someone's tail off? This is the dumbest thing

in the world. All the characters move lame. How is bad movement a good game mechanic? Right? And this random thing that happens. You're running your race. You've done nothing wrong. And then some other character bops into you because he got whacked. And now you're messed up.

Like that's shit. I'm losing. It's not my fault. You don't even have to have the audio on. This video starts in the middle of a map called Slime Climb And this is where the bullies hang out That I was talking about See that one pole See that guy bullying

He's grabbing pushing people Where do I need to go to Just the very beginning And you'll see those two poles going towards the one Oh he's just slinging him yeah he's just pushing people off and i hate those bullies because they always get me yeah it's but like watch the actual run it's this is in fast forward it looks like a little bit like i saw a meme i'm watching it but i saw a meme today and it was like this guy's way better

you know you buy a three thousand dollar pc and then you play this. It was a picture of these little goobers running around on a map. That's kind of how I feel to some extent. I kind of like flexing my PC muscle when I play a game.

Do you think your PC can handle this? Yes, it's PC. I think my phone can handle this? Yes, his PC can handle it. I think my phone can handle this. It could easily handle it. There are pregnancy tests that could run this. This guy is really good. I know. This guy is really fucking good.

I didn't know you could do these things. Right? I'm looking at this like that's the... I didn't know you could do these jumps. Some of these paths that he's taking, he's using the column to get a boost and skipping corners and stuff. And then there's a car.

I'm going to be better at slime climb now. Yeah. The hard one is, is hexagons. Oh, uh, he's always taking these. It's clear that the game has like a prescribed route and he has a better idea

yeah it's oh he's slinging him off the thing now oh he's just bullying everybody okay tell me if this looks easy to you kyle this one because this is the final stage i've never won on hexagons never because it only shows up in the final stage okay i'm looking at this it and so you step on them and they start disappearing but it's not just you it's you and 10 other people all trying to cut each other off and fuck each other up and i will say this game seems to have some aspects of gameplay that i really suck at like uh i'm not great at like accurately jumping from one thing to another. Platformers. Yeah.

Platformers. There's some platforming to do in Rust and I leave it to the others because I legitimately get afraid. Like there's like just climbing up on top of the dome. If anybody who's listening knows what I'm talking about. Like I fuck that up a lot. I miss my jump. There's a lot of like... Oh, look at this guy go. He's breaking the hexes to ruin for everyone else.

He went all the way to the bottom. I never do that. Maybe this is the move, to go all the way to the bottom and then delete the last one. Because if you fall into the slime, obviously you're done. And he has to wait for nine people. The closest I've gotten is like two or three times I've been the second place guy.

This video is called Fall Guys. Win every time. There's no way that's true, sir. Oh, you're on another... He has a 90% win rate. Oh, fuck. Okay, well, touche, sir. How about 0% win rate?

How about that? I'm going to make a guide to never win. Just round down. What the fuck with a 90% win rate? How about that? I'm going to make a guide to never win. Just round down. What the fuck with a 90% win rate? That's outrageous. Yeah, this just isn't what I like in a game. I like some pretty visuals, man.

Yeah. I just like the silliness. Yeah, I can see that. I get get it how's this guy gonna fucking win there's not enough tiles left what are you doing oh now now he's converting to the hop method see i do the hop method every time my hands get sweaty and i get nervous and i end up fucking up a jump because it's like this you're playing this you only make it to this stage kyle if you won or qualified the past five oh wow oh so it's like when you have less experience on this one yeah and so when you lose it's like fuck i just pissed away six different times but it's a really fun game i'm watching him

seemingly remove all the tiles from the center so that the rest of the people fall down yeah i'm gonna start doing's sabotaging the board. I mean, if he's winning, that's what you want. I know, but it's a mean way of winning. I'll take any win. I'll take any. If everybody else times out, I'll take that. I've only got three crowns, one for a win and two that they give

so that eight-year-olds don't get discouraged. So now he's hopping so he it's amazing to process what you said it's true i'm just getting absolutely hammered by these kids just they're just better than me but that one that's how what's that game where you drive around in the race cars and you move the soccer ball around rocket, that's how... Woody, what's that game where you drive around in the race cars and you move the soccer ball around? Rocket League. That's how I felt in Rocket League. I was so bad at Rocket League

that it was just like, all right, this is never, ever going to be my thing. I need to stop playing this right now, and it'll stop... The embarrassment can end whenever i want it to and i choose right now did you know heather's brother owned that game studio and made like nine digits off it or something like he's awesome whoa yeah that's awesome yeah so she doesn't have to work ever again i don't know how it impacts her finances but but it's her brother. If I made like $100 million

off something, I'm throwing a few million to everyone in my family. Everyone gets two, and I keep the rest. I can see that. And I'm going to spend the rest building an RC track. It would be worth giving everyone two, except for the one you hate.

Like to spend $12 million spiting the one you hate. Like, like, like, like to spend $12 million spite, spiting the one person, like, like, like forget the $12 million of generosity, $12 million of spite.

Imagine you have eight cousins and you give seven of them a million dollars each. And, and they're all calling each other. Can you believe it? And they finally called Joe and he's just like, what, what happened? And they're like, you know kyle he he gave us all a million dollars all of who

everyone in the fucking family dude you didn't get your check no i'll check the mailbox no no your gigantic check he had us all sent those gigantic checks from tv there was a news crew and everything you didn't get one of those pennington gave me mine yeah oh just spite generosity that's my style joe you remember that time i needed to drive home it was snowing you didn't take me. I do. Well, not only that, I've hired a team of attorneys on retainer to run your business into the ground. Oh, a spite store. Spite store?

Oh, you don't know about this. Okay, so you really got to catch up on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah, I haven't watched it in a while. curb your enthusiasm. Yeah, I've been watching it for a while. Larry David buys a... He's in an argument with the guy who owns the coffee shop. His name's

Mocha Joe. And so he buys the property directly connected to it. It's one of those shopping malls where it's like there's a wall splitting Larry's business and Mocha Joe's business. And he calls it's like there's a wall like splitting larry's business and mocha joe's business and he calls it latte larry's and so he's selling coffee next door and every and he

lowers the price by 10 cents and mocha joe has to lower his by 10 cents and he just keeps doing that till coffee's like 30 fucking cents and mocha joe can't afford to go any lower because he's not a billionaire he's not running a short-term fly-by-night coffee operation for the purpose and it spurs on this thing where like lots of hollywood like celebrities are also making spike stores i can't think of which celebrities but it's lots of big names like i don't know like avril lavigne has started her own spike jewelry store because she didn't like the way they cleaned her necklace or something like that like there's bunches of them popping off it's really funny i gotta pop back into that show that was the most amazing season is he a billionaire on the show does he he's larry david in the show so he's a billionaire

in real life he's a billionaire in the show period yeah yeah or is he like 900 mil i would i don't know i don't know it's i don't know who cares right yeah it's hundreds of millions of dollars it's hundreds of millions so i i don't know that'd be so cool that much money it's uh yeah it's one of my favorite shows it fucking great. And to be so good in these late seasons. Wikipedia says $950 million. Sucker. He's knocking on the door.

How much does he make off Curb Your Enthusiasm? He's probably a producer. I would guess so. Probably the executive producer, right? And then another site says 400 million. These sites don't know. I could run one of these sites. I could make one of these sites

just throw bullshit up everywhere. You search someone, there's no way. It's like, how much is Macaulay Culkin worth? And it's like, where'd you get this information? I mean, I loved Home Alone, so ballpark. Joe Rogan's the one I wonder about.

Now, it said 20 million. This is like four years ago. His podcast has just been booming, and then he got that 100 million Spotify deal. Have you seen Joe Rogan's new studio? Yeah, it's like a cockpit. Or not a cockpit, but a fuselage. Everybody hates it they hate it um we were watching it on my my stream last night and just my chat universally

you'd think i don't like it matter you'd think i don't like it either and before i saw it i thought but i don't care right it's the quality of the conversation that's what i'm listening for but then i saw it and i was like uh no this is why is it red right is it all and this this like gold statue in the corner that looks retarded that's taking up so much space feels feels crowded in here it is crowded right yeah i don't like it he couldn't have made a better studio with with real walls than a bunker um yeah i don't really i don't watch his podcast so i don't really guess it doesn't really matter but that's weird i can't play it because i'm i don't like it like but the thing is like it doesn't bother me it's just it's i prefer the old the old way. And look, he'll probably fucking change it next year. I think at 435 or something, you can really see it.

I'm looking for it. I need to find it again. He had Ron White on a couple days ago. Who's he? I know the comedian. They call me Tater Salad. He was one of the redneck comedy tour guys. Yeah, blue collar.

Blue collar comedy, whatever. But like, yeah, that was, and he was probably the funniest one of them. He was, for sure. He's my favorite. I love that whole they call me Tater Salad bit. And the Ron White one, go to 53 seconds 53 that's his new place yeah i hate that you can see it you're at 53 seconds you see the

shot i want you to see yeah and it yeah also i think that it's not very flattering like maybe joe's shirt is just bad but i don't know man like these are not flattering camera angles they get like they look it's an aggressive color to look at and the even the sound paneling the soundproofing like that's ugly it shuts out so far from the wall is the lighting bad every time i see joe he looks worse than i'm used to seeing joe yeah the lighting's weird i don't like anything about it really yeah it's pretty terrible i bet he thought oh everyone's gonna fucking love this where do they see i'm doing it from a fucking plane it's really just a cockpit that he had read looks like a few

slots someone told me elon musk did it for him it's my twitch chat then now you know you place the proper weight on the quality of that source all right fair enough yes i don't know yeah i don't like it but it's whatever i still like the show it doesn't it doesn't like ruin the show for me anything uh how many people watch it anyway like i do i i only watch it oh really yeah i don't listen to it i uh i only watch it okay yeah so you like sit there and watch the cameras change while they're talking like you've checked like it's a youtube video i don't think i like the way the camera flips back and forth as much as i like the pka setup i don't know what the world thinks but having them both yeah i would

rather them take our people put them in boxes and you get to see them all the time instead of like non-stop jump cuts you get to see them responding to points as much as making i like it i like i like the three i like a three camera setup for that i like a wide and uh too close i want it like to me there's some value in seeing like what the how the other guys are reacting to the speaker like i i enjoy that and you don't get it at all on joe's show you have one speaker and one listener and it's listener and it's hmm um now maybe i mean all it would take to fix most of it is to change the backlighting color like the red is terrible it's still a tiny little airplane fuselage with no room i think it looks like they can't stand up yeah it looks like they have to cry what if he gets like a tall guest in it's weird i didn't think i placed any value in this i thought i thought i didn't care at all but now it's like

dude joe used to have this like dream studio it was joe's version of a perfect building it had a weightlifting gym in the back some heavy beds some speed bags i think it had mats you could roll on it had a foyer large enough for them to shoot flamethrowers in and then a studio to do his podcast. His isolation tanks. Yeah, this is Joe Rogan's version of a perfect building. And he's talked about how he loves it there. He's talked about how sometimes he goes there because he's got like a wife and three daughters at home and he needs a little less estrogen in his life. And he goes to his studio and that's his man cave and

that's his place and i'm like fuck yeah joe you do you you deserve it you you you get something that makes you happy i like it and now he's in this tiny little red tube that is clearly his place of employment and it's like fuck this isn't joe's dream well i'm sure there's like stuff in the back right like i bet he didn't lose all that other stuff. You know it's in Texas, right? It's a different place. Okay. Yeah, just buy a new one.

He can have anything he wants. I'm with you there, right? I just, I don't know. It's like, oh, Joe, I liked you where you were. I liked it for him. I liked him having his version of a perfect place. But I think Texas, I'm sorry. california is not his dream location and that's why he's switching it up yeah i don't blame him he's gonna pay a lot less in taxes a lot more freedoms i well somewhat no more weed

i don't know that's kind of lame there are some places that are really nice to live but only if you're super rich like i've got san diego in my head san diego has beautiful weather it has great things to do i'm not sure if it's san diego san diego specifically but there are some places in california where you can ski and surf like the same day and that's crazy to me right there's mountains and ocean they're different things but no there are spots in california where you're close enough to do both and that's outrageous but it's only cool if you're really rich you know you have to be kobe bryant rich or something to get around well all right too much could have picked a better example you know be so rich you're fucking dead but like yeah there

are places you know you in new york new york city has yeah it's not where i'd want to live we can make fun of kobe oh we're long past that it's cool noted yeah only people in la get really mad if you make fun of kobe but they're i don't know they're miles away they can't get here they don't count there's pads of fire you know have you seen the pictures of is it san francisco where is it super red right now yeah we discussed that while you stepped away oh do you think it's real? Yeah. It seems to be real, yeah. It looks way worse than ever. I just wonder if that's like 80%.

I'm just naturally suspicious. Maybe it's a little orange tinted, so they cranked up the saturation and said, look at this. I have seen so many beautiful sunsets. I have a friend who's colorblind, and he has those colorblind sunglasses, and he puts them in front of his cell phone takes a picture of what is an 8 out of 10 sunset and it looks 11 out of 10 through those you know the

colorblind sunglasses yeah you've seen them and you look at it now whenever i see his beautiful pictures i'm like i don't trust them i don't trust them they look way better in your photo than they do in real life. Is it that red? I don't know. Maybe so. It's pretty red. Leave a comment. Let me know.

If you're in San Francisco, let us know. Yeah, I'm curious. I'll believe the rest of you. Tweet me photos of it. That doesn't work. But without colorblind glasses in front of it. Yes, right? It's just so red.

So crazy. right it it it's just so red so crazy or maybe that's just the sunset and they have like localized smoke it why is it that red i don't know yeah it looks like hell at least the photos on twitter look like it's like it's everything's burning which i guess everything is no i homosexuality everything is no i homosexuality this is god's vengeance they are i get it if god started rafting on us like if he showed up and he was like yeah i've got a lot of bones to pick i'm gonna start let's start to work and he started like fucking shit up how scary would that be that's a problem what if it turned out that one of the religions we're not even associated with was right what if the the mormons got it what if the fucking mormons were right what if the amish have been doing shit the right way this whole fucking time?

It's probably someone like them. I mean, how could the Amish be wrong? They're so sweet. They're clearly trying their best. If any of them deserve to be right, the Mormons are in that little area. Mormons? So you're pro-pedophile. Mormons are so nice.

They marry 13-year-olds. That's olden day Mormons. I have a no soliciting sign outside my fucking house and a Mormon fucking came and tried to spread that LDS bullshit. I almost melted down. I was like,

I looked at the sign and looked at them. I was like, do you not see this? He said, well, I'm not soliciting. I'm spreading the word. fuck i'm just are you fucking kidding me i'm within my rights to end you i'm fairly threatened you thought this was just for like the juice mixers and and fucking what

no this this is anybody who's bothering me in the middle of the day when it's my nap time. And then some bitch came two days ago with the census. She came to get me to sign up for the census. And I was like, do I have to? She's like, well, no, you don't have to.

I was like, then I don't want to. And I slammed the door. And then she like, she like wrote this fucking census card and like left it under one of the boxes that I have been too lazy to pick up off my stoop. And, and I go out there, crumble pick up off my stoop. And, and I go out there,

crumble it up and I throw it right there. So she can see it. If she ever comes back, she came back today and left another one. Why don't you want to be in the census? Just fill it out with all wrong information. Why would I want to be a part of the census? I don't want them to count me in Georgia and then Georgia get a little extra

federal money because they know I'm here. Fuck them. Okay. Okay. I see where you're coming from oh yeah i'm going around taking everybody's census paperwork i'm i wouldn't think the whole neighborhood doesn't exist there's one strange neighborhood in georgia are you in the city of atlanta no okay no uh not too far away it'd be tough to do in atlanta quite a few people yeah it'd be great i don't know where like the city of atlanta really even is like what that means as far as like a geographic area i mean i know what you mean but i don't know where that would be i guess like i think it's like buckhead is like downtown. Atlanta is famous for its sprawl, right? So it has a lot of – what the fuck am I calling it?

Suburbs. Landmass and suburbs that I think is technically Atlanta. Am I right on that? I don't know. It's a little bit like LA in that way that it's really – especially if you're like from outside anywhere near Atlanta, if you're two or three hours away, you're like, oh, yeah, we're in Atlanta. It's like, we're not even close. They think it's Atlanta as soon as you get to Six Lanes, but you get to Six Lanes a long way from fucking downtown Atlanta. It's a big city.

Tons and tons of suburbs. Atlanta. It's a big city. Tons and tons of suburbs. And it's encircled by that Interstate 285, which is like a giant ring around the center of the city and then multiple interstates crisscrossing it. Raleigh has two circles. There's two surrounding circles. The outer one's not totally finished, but someday yeah yeah yeah i like it here but uh i'll be happy as soon as i can fucking go no i can't imagine dude i'm really i i'm hoping that it's always sooner than later we'll see

yeah i yeah i always i want like daily updates for kyle and kyle's like hey every update's 500 i don't get them every day yeah makes sense i'll be able to do it in a month uh you know to petition the judge so that'll probably be when you uh touch base with your attorneys uh kitty's doing it for me. I just told her. I don't know if she'll figure out which lawyer to use and handle it all for me. Oh, you might switch attorneys. Well, within the same firm,

but I had two attorneys last time. One of them is more expensive than the other one. Okay. One of them was dealing with the firearm side of the thing and of them was dealing with the firearm side of the thing and the other was dealing with the drug side of the thing. Who's the expensive one? The drug side.

Okay. Okay. I wasn't even sure. Now that you say it, it seems obvious. I get it. I can see it going either way, I suppose. Well, that's four hours. When their powers combine.

Back accounts drain. You guys want to call it a show? Yeah. It's time to play some Fallout and eat dinner. I didn't have time to eat dinner. I finished working out so soon before this. I'm about to pass out. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten since 1 p.m. I'm hungry. I didn't have time to eat dinner. I finished working out so soon before this. I'm about to pass out. I'm so hungry. I haven't

eaten since 1 p.m. I'm hungry. I gotta eat. PKA 508.