Painkiller Already - PKA 509 Kyle's New Motorcycle, Danny Mullen's New Movie, PKA Adventure

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

Painkiller already, episode 509. Just the boys, this show. Taylor? Just the lads. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Goat.com, Blue Chew, and Smart Mouth. You're going to learn a little more about them later. But we had something we really wanted to jump into before the show. Kyle, you're considering becoming a motorcycle man.

You guys thought it was interesting. I was just sort of mentioning it off the cuff. But yeah, I don't know how I saw it. Oh, we were playing Codenames the other day, I think. And I was giving a clue that it was interesting. I was just sort of mentioned it off the cuff, but yeah, I, um, I don't know how I saw it. Oh, we were playing code names the other day, I think. And, uh, and I was giving a clue that it was motorcycle related and, uh, it made me like Google, uh, a Honda motorcycle to show them how silly they were for not getting my clue. And, uh, and I started looking at the, uh, what is it? The Honda Rebel 500. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't even looked at one in person, but I think it looks cool in the fucking picture.

It's only six grand. A new one's six grand. I'd just get a used one with like 3,500 miles on it and probably be out the door at five grand. You know, I wouldn't even get to six. I would be under six grand after buying a helmet and jacket and gloves and shit i think i don't know i'm not looking you could you could rule the roads of northeast georgia rule the roads yeah just like daryl from walking dead are we talking about starting a biker gang now you might not know i i had a honda rebel it was uh that's how i got to college uh through the icy streets of north jersey i uh very cool the 300 or the 500 back it was a 250 so it's okay um this this would have been like 93 ish or something i got it new i got thrown out of the dorms for bad behavior and needed a way

to get from my apartment to my classes and to swim practice and stuff that's so funny to me i knew you that you did get kicked out of the dorms but it's just so funny imagining you getting kicked out of the dorms for real rebel rouser i'm a bit of an asshole so rabble no it's rabble rouser yeah i think you're right we've got rebel on the mind but um yeah i bought a uh my i think my parents helped me with it but it was a red honda red red honda rebel i'm trying to say Red Rebel. And that's it was a Red Rebel. It was a Red Rebel. Thanks. Yeah. And it was pretty cool. I liked it. It always worked. It always started the 250 lack power, I thought for highway speeds, you know, I, I'd have to like,

put my chest and helmet on the gas tank to break 6065. I would that's another thing I like about the 500, to be honest. It's so dangerous. The 500 even doesn't have a ton of power. I think the top speed is like 100 miles per hour, which is fine. It's not a lot for a motorcycle, is it?

I feel like they can whip it around. Yeah, but the thing is, if you get an R1, like a 1,000 cc crotch rocket that goes 180, 200 miles per fucking hour. Wow, that's just an expensive suicide. I don't want to go that fast, ever. No, I know you have some. Tell me if I'm on target.

I'm on target. I know you have ATV experience, probably trikes and quads. Yeah. But you're not current. It's been some time. Do you have any motorcycle experience not really no yeah so i've ridden one around a parking lot one time all right i have a fair amount of motorcycle experience and this is what they would put a new rider on like this that

was also my thought process this looked easy to ride it weighs 400 pounds um and it's cheap enough that i'll probably get those things that stick out from the side. So if you drop it, you don't fucking dent your gas tank in. I don't know what they're called. But yeah, something like that. They look cooler with those. I haven't settled on buying them. They do look cooler.

I haven't settled on actually doing this yet or not. I'm probably going to wait a weeks to like let the impulse by adrenaline go away okay smart or i do anything but um but if i do get one i'll go to a dealership and just get one but i'm gonna go to one of those motorcycle courses lesson things there's like a two-day course near me that's like 350 dollars but motorcycle safety foundation was that who does it uh they i don't know who does it they teach you how to ride a fucking motorcycle and they provide the motorcycle it's a great idea yeah now that's a fantastic idea it's um there's a little bit of technique in those courses but a lot of it is like attitude you know they teach you to think that

you're invisible while you're driving because people don't see you the same way they see you in a car and um yeah they're just fantastic that all anybody on a bike will tell you that that's a smart idea and this i think is a good first bike for someone your size right like if you were that's the other thing i need to stand next i need to stand next to this thing and see how tall it is because i'm worried that i'm worried that i'm gonna like be way too tall for this i wouldn't have you I don't know. Which phase of your impulse buy are you in? Have you watched YouTube videos of people riding it yet?

No. Are you just reading the spec? Because we've all been there. We know when you see something, it's like, oh, I need this. And if I let myself dwell on it for more than a couple minutes, seriously, I'll realize it's a bad idea. But I can't let myself do that. I did go and look at a bunch of accessories that go on it, like aftermarket seats and tank covers, different paint schemes that people have done, like wrap jobs and different Sprut accessories. And I looked at some stuff last night, and then I mentioned it to some people. And one guy was like, yeah, I've been wanting to get a 300 to zip around back and forth to work.

And I don't know. I'm probably like 70% sure I'm going to get it, but I'm going to, I'm going to wait until it's a hundred percent that I'm not going to, I don't want to just have it sitting in the garage and not ride it at all. I'd like to ride it a few days a week. And like, I'm not going far. I'm not going an hour, even, you know, just a little 30 minute trips around town. If're going to learn tricks. Oh, yeah, of course. Did you say it goes 100 miles an hour? Yeah. That's faster than

mine. Oh, it looks like Woody's in the market for a motorcycler. Well, in case we ever throw down pink slips up at the edge. If you guys both start riding motorcycles regularly, I'm going to be the only host of the show in three years john mack if he was right about you you're a square you don't get high on heroin while you ride your honda 500 rebel you fucking loser i mean you

could get a motorcycle too taylor no we could go on a motorcycle adventure i'm out i know i just noticed this doesn't come with abs and there's an abs model yeah i would strongly point you towards it i already decided that okay it's like 400 more yeah it's a motorcycle road trip it sounds like the most boring thing imagine dude you have to watch dude imagine a road trip but you can't talk to anyone the whole time. You can, though. You've got this whole mic set up, so it sounds like we're wearing a headset or something. So I can get clipped out every time you guys want to talk? No.

That's fucking hilarious. We give ours priority. This trip is bullshit. I didn't take the course. I'm holding on to a guy we hired. You should have just come to the class. No, I'm not doing it. It was $300.

You're not getting clipped out right now, Taylor. I don't know what's causing that exactly. We thought it was the echo cancellation. We canceled the pan. A lot of people have a theory, but it's wrong. Something about priority speaker. But in a call, there is no priority speaker. That's just for servers. Sometimes sometimes depending on the guests we have it'll blip in and out too it seems like just it has to do with their settings they've got some

setting enabled or disabled that we all haven't done because we've all gotten together and like matched our settings up before no i i think i would go on a little motorcycle adventure i think that'd be fucking fun man you could if you if you paralyzed yourself on the motorcycle paralyzed my yeah if you if you paralyzed yourself on the motorcycle would you still do the show taylor you're being a bit of a square first of all if i paralyze myself doing anything i'm going to kill myself no you're like can't even what like hear down yeah we'll take his mouth on his motorized wheelchair and drive it off a building. Yeah, I just go right into the fucking swimming pool and drown myself.

Or I get somebody to come help me kill myself. I would kill myself. I'm not living paralyzed. That does sound terrible. I wouldn't live with less than ten fingers. I'm this close to killing myself now. Dude, I woke up cranky today and i was i was about to end it a friend of mine was paralyzed from the waist down for like two months so i might just hang in there and wait and see he's fine now he's why are we already talking about the paralyzed

scenario i just don't want you to kill yourself right away. I want to talk about color schemes, god damn it. It's a motorcycle. It's a death machine. Dude, some 16-year-old girl is going to hammer you while she's listening to whatever WAP, and you're just going to be drug across the highway under her brand new Escalade. Yeah, yeah.

You're getting the 500cc. Let's talk about how many watts your wheelchair is going to have. Are you going to put racing stripes on it? Taylor, I've had motorcycles since I was 17. the 500 cc let's talk about how many watts your wheelchair is gonna have yeah what are you gonna put racing stripes on it taylor i've had motorcycles since i was 17 go to your eternal demise and the shallow end i had motorcycles since i was 17 on and off and even when i was young i couldn't get 16 year olds to hammer me so oh no fuck well that's the secret angle here it's easier the older you get Oh Jesus And the stronger you get Exactly This thing is cool to me

I like it It's a 16 year old 90 pounds It's on the 16 year old So just be careful You know there's a lot of I'm going hard You know better than

anyone the gnarly videos of motorcycles of course i know the gnarly videos on motorcycles there's a subreddit called meat crayon it's all about people yeah it's all about people sliding down asphalt and leaving a mark oh that is that is grim it's grim as fuck are you familiar with the calamari race team we've talked about this before, but I've forgotten. In motorcycle parlance, a squid is someone who drives around the streets like they're on a racetrack. And there's a subreddit called the Calamari race team who takes pride in their squid behavior. What? Faggots.

They're always doing wheelies and just driving wildly. What is that? Squid behavior? The Calamari race team because squids are street racers. Oh, squid. Okay. And they're like, oh, I got my first squid marks. And there they are with their leg attraction and stitches down the side.

Good God. That's the other thing. I will buy some leathers. I will get a legit jacket and gloves and, you know, a nice helmet and everything. There's no way I would just ride down the road. I don't know. Maybe it was a quick trip. Like, if I was just going, like, five minutes, I might wear jeans and a shirt.

But if I'm going for any distance at all, really, I would definitely wear my shit. Yeah. I don't get fucked up. Dude, this guy doesn't have a palm anymore. They call that ATGAT. It stands for all the gear all the time, I would definitely wear my shit. Yeah, I don't get fucked up. This guy doesn't have a palm anymore. They call that ATGAT. It stands for all the gear all the time, I think. And that's how I do it, too. Yeah, I think I will.

I would probably need some new shoes. And I would honestly like, I like the idea of having a reason to own one of those cool motorcycle jackets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. reason to own one of those cool motorcycle jackets. Yeah.

Yeah. So you would be too self-conscious to just go straight to the jacket. You need the motorcycle first. You gotta carry the helmet so the jacket has a purpose. Yeah. Taylor's coming across so square thus far.

Look, when Woody and I have those Sons of Anarchy style cuts. When you guys are in hospice and I'm and it's my Patreon. We should have listened. I just send you guys mean stuff to your crippled

lights so the nurses have to open your PO boxes. It's another mocking letter from your former co-host. Who's the square now? Is this an African guy? I don't know what that means. You're being a real

pussy about this is all I know to say. Gun surgeon. he loves writing yeah but he would like the use of his other arm more if you give him debatable debatable you don't put words in his mouth that's fair you're just assuming he prefers to arm which i think is able to have his arm back yeah um this kyle is long way round i think i've talked about it before but it ewan mcgregor and i call you a mcgregor okay all right you have to be charlie boorman you're charlie boorman yeah is this like uh brokeback mountain but with motorcycles what

are you showing me this is a a TV show, and they go 19,000 miles around the world. They start in England, they go across Mongolia and Russia, they take a little boat to Alaska, down Canada, across America, and they circumnavigate the globe on motorcycles.

And it's not a drama or anything, it's like a reality show, like they did this. And it starts off with them finding sponsors and shit like that. And then it's their adventure. It's really cool. And it was wildly popular. They made a second one called Long Way Down.

And in that, they start in like Scotland and they go to South Africa. Yikes. And they've made a new one, which is coming out like any day. And it's called long way up where i think they start in i can never remember what's the bottom of south america like chile or argentina or something yeah and they go up so um you may enjoy these i don't want you to get any big ideas woody about about too late kyle do it the seat is planted i can i can see the the wheels moving in your head right now.

I'm so hard to read normally. You're on a motorcycle trip. So, you know, sponsors, sponsors, and just me and you on our bikes, I'll bring the loot. It's sponsored by Band-Aid.

They get sponsored by Snap-On, I think ralph's prosthetic arms and snap-on gives them something like 400 pounds of tools and it's like we have to carry this shit why do we need duplicate tools i was just imagining that the commercial where it's just a badly lit studio and the guy's like sitting there in like a fake yard drinking iced tea out of his his fake hand and he has to pretend that he's not thinking about the fake hand the whole time like you wouldn't drink with your real hand i'm not gonna lose my hand why i just like i'm just going based on the first page of meat crayon and this is all

don't i i told you not to go to meat crayon don't go to meat crayon so you say i hate i went to top this month and it says you can actually see the trace this guy's hand leaves on the tarmac that's what a meat crayon is yeah i i put the pieces together real quick that's why that's why we're going to go back that much no they're not going to grow back no that's not growing back they need to put like a whole cutlet in in his palm and sew it on for him to have a palm again yeah that's that's the reason you wear gloves i've seen people take crazy accidents on the interstate and slide for like a quarter of a fucking mile almost and then just

hop right up yeah as long as you're like dressed like iron man the whole time you'll be fine well that's what i'll do i'll wear i'll wear like good pants and good jacket and good shoes and you've seen those crazy helmet ones where it's like angled on one side because it's been ground down through like 10 layers of helmet have you seen those i have seen where they have flat spots from grinding on asphalt this is, this is hard to watch. Yeah, I know. This is terrible. I didn't tell you to go there. I just mentioned it's horrible.

How did you know about this and you want to buy a motorcycle? I'm pretty internet experienced. I know. It doesn't take much. It takes a lot to get to me nowadays. And meat crayon as well. Yeah, I don't go there. It's blocked on my mini on my like mini reddit or whatever the fuck like there's no way i can ever see a because i saw one gif of a guy like

going palm first down the highway and i was just like never again let's fix this yeah you know what i have blocked on my reddit that i don't want to be exposed to um there are a handful of subs that are like naked fat chicks oh my god chubby yeah our chubby put a filter on this baby i'm gonna go to our chubby lady of gone wild yes that they are very liberal with the definition of chubby very liberal with the definition of chubby i'll tell you what they're very liberal with a lot of things on the not safe for subreddits and i've had fucking enough of it we need some nazis to run reddit not these pantsy smancy anything goes people because look i get it if you're going to be on labia gone wild and your vagina is going to look like it got shot with a 12 gauge that's fine you're on labia gone wild and maybe some people are into our gruel which

is basically like a creamy leaking pussy not Not my favorite thing in the world. I can smell it through my monitor. But some of these things, like Big Titty Goth Girl has just turned into like fat chicks wearing black. God Pussy has just turned into... These posters look like Preston Lacey. Wait, God Pussy's taking a turn south? I think God Pussy was never all that great. There's a lot of just subpar pussies over there on God Pussy. Don't call it a God Pussy if it's not a God Pussy was never all that great. There's a lot of just subpar pussies over there on God Pussy.

Don't call it a God Pussy if it's not a God Pussy. It's not called 8 out of 10 Pussy. They are playing fast and loose with the dictionary over here at Chubby. This is a stretch. What is it called? Chubby. All right. Chubby. Keep in mind mind it's the pornographic subreddit as chubby i'm sorry i'm saying uh scroll it down just a couple like i did and how many of them would you are you like oh chubby not yet all these chicks are fat uh

yeah no here's one i think i'd call chubby it's okay the top post she's chubby like uh the one says happy friday topless cooking is acceptable right too far for me no no but if you go down a little bit the chick that's the yeah she has a flower tattoo on her right arm she might be like eight this flower tattoo on the have. Have a great day, guys. I love being here with you. Yeah, I see her. She is... I can deal with that, yeah. That's not that bad. She's playing within the rules.

Do you like what you see? The one on our left? She's wearing white stockings. Oh, yeah. There you go. There's chubby her friend fat yes yep and i just roll down two more i hope you like my curves i don't no no when your curves involves your belly fat flopping over with the crease in it we've gone too far like that is her most flattering angle that's the other thing you have

to think but she's leaning back she's palms back look yep oh palms back nice little trick there she knows what she's doing now if you go down to go ahead you can touch i'm okay with that chubby she that's that's chubby it's it's it's extra thick that's thick with four c's that's okay and she's a redhead that's allowed i will caution you i think she's pretty fat kyle don't don't don't link up for the long term with that she's on her way down the rabbit hole yeah she's not gonna fit she's not gonna look good at 41 also those fingernails like that frighten me any anyone who does who has like the fingernails that end in scary points, like they're a predator. How do they type well?

How do they do anything well? How do you wipe your ass when you've got blades on the end of your fingers? Oh, you think there's shit? Like little bits of shit? Little bits of shit under there. Like if she scratches you, you're getting necrosis. I don't want to look at this subreddit anymore. Don't.

Okay, I'm done with the chubby. But yeah, I like the idea of the motorcycle. And I think that's where I am on the idea of a motorcycle. I think I would take the class first and see if I even like riding motorcycles. Then I'm in for like $350 or something like that. And I think I may have to buy a helmet too. So probably $500, $600. you know that's then i'm in for like 350 or something like that and i think i may have to buy a helmet too so probably five six hundred dollars and worst case scenario now i know how to ride a motorcycle and i have a motorcycle license you forgot the most important thing the jacket i'd love to see the picture of the jacket that you're imagining yourself in

ah let me show you the kind of that i'm thinking do you have a whole outfit picked out in your head? I don't have a whole outfit picked out of my head. Are you imagining walking into a saloon and everybody going, oh, who's that guy? Who's that guy? No. Imagining that at all. Who's that guy? No. That's a rough customer over there.

His jacket says Sons of Ibuprofen. He's probably older. It says Redwood Original. Redwood Original. The party barn. I just kind of picked one randomly. I would probably

do more shopping, but this style in general, I think, is something I like. Revzilla. Yeah, it looks good. You know what? I don't know anything about Star Trek, but it looks Star Trek-y to me. Yeah, no.

Well, I did preface that with I didn't know. Yeah, that looks pretty nice. I don't know. I like that. Is this the kind that would protect you if you fell off? I don't know. Again, I just like the look of that one. I have no idea how effective it would be at protecting me

from becoming a meat crayon. Motorists are calling it the coolest death they've ever seen. I mean, he just flew right into the side of that semi, but god damn, it was sick. It was sick. He was going so

fast. He was just a blur and then a splat yeah you know what he had tassels it felt festive it was like a quinceanera as he splattered against this the tyson chicken truck see i don't plan on going fast enough for that to happen my biggest fear would be getting hit by another car and intersection i think that's that's the biggest fear is getting hit by another fucking car because i'm not gonna crash because i'm not gonna do anything stupid enough to crash i'm really not like i'm not like i'm not thrill seeking uh and and that sort of way anymore i think i've gotten all that out of my system yeah i've done enough silly shit that like i'm over it um i haven't done anything crazy in my car in years but the car thing is the

scary thing like one person checking their phone like they can't see you immediately and they just barrel into you that seems to be like what are you doing you you were talking a while back about taking a motorcycle course and i think you said some instructor was like you got to prepare to fall because it's not hey maybe i'm gonna fall on my motorcycle it's i need to know what to do when i fall on my motorcycle yeah right something along those lines where it's not, hey, maybe I'm going to fall on my motorcycle. It's I need to know what to do when I fall on my motorcycle. Yeah. Right. Something along those lines where it's like you need to anticipate that you're going to fall at some point.

Yeah. That's a thing that will happen. But think ahead about your slide points. And that helps a ton. Like, you know, Kyle, where are you going to slide? I'm going to guess your elbow, that bony part of your ankle. You know, put something slippery on there. Wear a boot

oh okay it'll do i thought you're being facetious like like those were the points that you want to slide on you want to get your sharp parts of your elbows down and and your knees become a crab when you slide yeah knees are another one but like you know what if one leg is under the bike all right oh i'm so we want to armor on those places that's what i'm trying maybe i'm not phrasing it very well but that you armor the places that are your slide points this jacket says shoulders elbows and something else has armor on it um elbows and shoulders that's it yeah so uh you know and then think about your boot too right put something leather is apparently a magic at sliding on asphalt like something about leather is able to slide a long way without disintegrating. And then, you know, they put plastic inside it.

So, yeah, armor your slide points and you'll be okay. Yeah, I'm not too worried about that part of it. I just don't want to do anything embarrassing like drop the fucking bike at the Walmart parking lot or something like that. Oh, you won't do that. You're smiling oh i would love if your first day out feeling so cool you pull in to like get a red bull or something man i don't even want the what the red bull that bad but i want all these fucking losers at walmart to see how cool i am you know your hair will be longer by then. Shake your hair back. Hold the helmet. Walking in. Two steps away. Crash! I just keep walking.

What was it much like to throw the helmet? Take the jacket off. Leave it right there. Your stupid fucking jacket! The parking lot will be empty in 12 to 14 hours. I'll pick it up then. Sitting in the cart return waiting.

I dropped mine a lot. Like there were just things I wasn't aware of. Like one thing, hot asphalt. The kickstand can kind of poke through and over time just fall. A gravel driveway. You know, what you left as what's seemingly like a stable configuration. You come back and you found that it had been slowly creeping over the course of the last couple hours um or sometimes you just drop it but you're much i was 17 when i learned to run a motorcycle and yeah not nearly as strong and it's that's 400 pounds i can sit that back up

i mean i was like yeah lift 400 pounds but i can sit it back up no problem right a girl because like because i mean i can i can pick up my atv and like roll roll it over upside down if I want to. They weigh more than that. You can lift any motorcycle. This one's not even hard. I don't know. I see those big fucking crazy Harleys with the double saddlebags that look like they weigh 1,500 pounds. That would be so scary to even fuck with. Yeah, but it takes a 220-pound deadlift to tilt it up.

Alright. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't settled on buying this thing. But it looks cool to me. And I don't give a shit what anybody thinks. I like the way it looks. I think it'd be fun to ride. And I'm not afraid of things. And then we can all go on our

PKA motorcycle adventure no those of us who don't have a woman at home who will not who will prevent us from doing that sort of thing of course I will take the train with Chiz I bet Chiz would ride a bike just to spite

you just to make you look like the bitch. Taylor's riding bitch on mine. Let's go. Can I be? How would you feel then if me and Chiz and Woody all get on our motorcycles and ride away and you have to follow us in the rental car? I mean, I'll have radio and AC. So will we.

You'll have AC? We're going. We're in the open air going 70. My helmet has Bluetooth built into it. That's true. All right. Touche. Would you ride in a sidecar? That's what I was saying.

A sidecar would be hilarious. You could ride a bitch on my bike, Taylor. Can you hug me the whole way? Can someone my size ride in a sidecar without causing problems? Alright. You can fit in a sidecar, but you will look

outrageous. And that makes it better. Do they make sidecars for 500cc bikes? You might need more motor. No, no, no. I want less motor if I put a sidecar on it i'd want a 300 if i was gonna i wanted to be putting along oh yeah dude you could that honda you're looking at buying you could slap one of these right on

there nowhere yeah eighteen hundred dollars nineteen hundred dollars How do you know this? I just looked up. I just put sidecar for Rebel 500. Or stuff that's compatible with it. And this will fit on all Honda. Now you may be thinking, this is for children. It is for children, dude. Look at that. Let's see what the weight limit

on this is. Oh my god, there's no way I can fit in that. I don't know. This doesn't look safe at all. Yeah, you definitely want to be in the sidecar of the guy who's been riding for three months. I forget it's even there. I forget you're there

and just clip you into a foam pole. I'm just scooting across skipping like I'm in a lake. It just attaches and you're reaching for the non-existent steering wheel. Woody and I are on the radios. Lean! Lean! Serpentine! Around traffic! Just trying to... Cool running is my way out of danger

no i no i'd be willing to do that um and for another reason i've been trying to get my credit score to 800 and uh because i haven't financed anything in so long all i've got is credit cards so like this would be i would that's i would probably finance this i probably put like a grand down and finance four thousand five000, $5,000. That's a $90 a month motorcycle payment over 48 months or something like that. Yeah, it's nothing. Yeah, it's a non-existent payment. I spend more on literally every other thing I do in life.

Just to have something financed. I didn't finance my last car. You know, it's been nine years. Jeez, it's been a while. I'm looking at this car. We paid cash for that last house. The accessories I consider the must-haves are the ABS and the 12-volt accessory socket. Really?

The 12-volt accessory thing? Why is that? Because maybe you're better than me, but I need my phone to navigate and I like it for music and my Bluetooth headset. And if you use your phone on GPS, the battery lasts like 40 minutes or like it can suck. Oh. So it's to keep your phone powered the whole way. Okay. Yeah.

And I also saw like a, this sort of bag thing that goes on the gas tank and the phone sort of like fits into this clear case on the top that looked really nice. I know there are like arms that like hold it up exactly where you want it but yeah i probably got one of those in the but i use an arm now like it's called a ram mount we can talk i can show you what i like if you ever yeah um i don't know again i'm in the very preliminary stages i wasn't even going to talk about it but i just mentioned it for the show and you guys thought it was interesting but um but i may get one i may not we'll see yeah i mean and the other thing is they hold their value so fucking well like the used ones are like 1500 cheaper than the new ones used around so i don't know how much better used one is like i consider abs a must-have like especially for a new guy you can get great deals at estate sales but they're slightly damaged

um i'm sorry oh abs i didn't know these came in red but if you find them on the east coast like the the number of good days to drive it this is especially true in like up north in new jersey you can find older bikes like 10 year old bikes with 4 000 miles that people just don't put many miles on yeah i saw a couple of views i think they changed the body style on these like two or three years ago and um i don't know i saw some used ones with like 3 500 miles that were like still 4 500 five thousand dollars uh i need to i bet there's some negotiation like maybe i get one of these things for fucking three thousand dollars i don't know yeah i don't know um i bought mine used my bmw yeah yeah i was um i was talking to some people about last night they were like why don't you get the ducati

and i'm just like because i want to spend 15 fucking thousand dollars i've had a ducati they're fucking awful i had a ducati 907 ie it's like having a ferrari and dude it turns out a terrible daily driver you know it was awful i had to like charge the battery before half my rides and oh god uh you know you better not stall it in the beginning of your trip because you'd be pushing it back home it took a lot of amperage to get this baby kicked off yeah yeah the uh i think the fuel pump or something drained it when i wasn't out it just sucked in a hundred ways eventually the transmission locked up and i had some major repair to do and this is at a time in my life i didn't have any

extra money and um yeah the thing looked beautiful it just shined i kept it polished and it was great but i never wrote it without breakdown anxiety. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah. I like the look of this one too. I liked it. It's kind of understated.

I like, um, I like the black one or the silver one, not the blue one. Definitely the black one. I like that. It looks cool. There's a custom seat that looks really nice on them.

And, uh, but I wouldn't do much else other than that. It looks, I don't know. I like the way it looks. I just, when I saw it, I was like, other than that it looks i don't know i like the way it looks i just when i saw it i was like oh that's the kind of motorcycle that i like i guess this is cool yeah it looks really cool and i i wouldn't have guessed it was that cheap then again i have no idea what motorcycle no that's really cheap because like motorcycles are cheap ish anyway

like like the most of the thousand cc bikes are like ten thousand eleven thousand dollars like a yamaha r1 or something like that the kind of motorcycle that you would explode if you if you hit something the ones that go 180 fucking miles per hour who's that for people who literally do want to end up me when i was young boxes yeah yeah like i'm so scared just thinking about that motorcycle when i'm on the interstate. Sometimes I remember one time I was driving back home from my dad's place to Atlanta and it was like three in the morning. And I don't know. I was on one of the major highways out here. Eighty five or two. Eighty five. Four to six lanes, something like that.

And I'm just cruising, going about 80, 90 miles an hour because it's three in the morning. There's no cops. There's no traffic and i just hear fucking motorcycle goes past me going at least 150 at least 150 maybe 200 miles per fucking hour because he passed me and i was going 80 and he was gone and the noise that it made was like nothing i'd ever heard before. It was like a bee had flown into my eardrum. It was just, eee! And I'm just like, oh! When I was in high school, I had this self-imposed rule that if I wasn't doubling the speed limit, whatever it was, I was kind of being a pussy. So you'd want to go 110 all the time

on like a 55 you know if it's in town of course you're going 50 in every 25 like that was my that was my self-imposed rule the you know the double yellow line that was just the woody lane right that's where i drove to get in between everyone and just how have you made it to this point in life it's really unbelievable people are like woody this paramotor midlife crisis midlife crisis baby i i've been playing this like a throwaway account dude i like to think that totally unbeknownst to you all those like weaving and everything you've been like mr magooing your way through accidents in your wake everywhere, and it's just you playing. You get home, take the gloves off. You're like, God damn, I'm good.

There's just like eight people dead back there. It's entirely possible. 30 people dead on the 105 fucking retards. I was just there. It was fine. Yeah, I've had some close calls on the motorcycle. I remember one time I stayed over at a friend's house and drove in the morning. Now, the weather was fine when I got there, but the next morning there was a chill and I didn't have either proper gloves or any gloves. Three minutes into the ride, I had to

hit the brake and unbeknownst to me, my fingers were so cold. They didn't work. All I had was the foot brake and the way a motorcycle works, like the weight shifts towards the front and the front brake does almost all the braking. So I just slid thankfully across a busy road but nobody hit me all the way across this guy's front yard all the way into his garden up by his porch and i'm just then i stopped in the nick of time and i kind of awkwardly just like well i'm alive pushed away but i mean you really were mr mcgill that's so funny yeah double the speed limit that's shocking that you set that rule at 17 and you didn't die right yeah i was not a smart driver or a good driver. Scott always had like a – I don't remember if it was an 800 or 1,000cc crotch rocket, but he rode one of those for like four years just screaming everywhere he went

until one night a deer ran in front of him, and he ended up like going out through a field going 60 miles per hour into a field, and he's just – Did he get hurt? per hour into a field and he's just oh he's not he stayed upright the whole way and then sold the fucking motorcycle i had that when i first got my ducati this similar thing happened there was just so much speed so easily available and um the turn had gravel on it so rather than attempt to make it work i went straight and it was a similar type thing into a field all bumpy and yeah turned out okay yeah i don't know i uh we'll see if i get this thing or not i think it'd be fun and i would do a pka uh motorcycle trip if taylor could be

pressured into it and and uh and and forced to do so against against his will and against his better judgment. Where would we even go? We would do, well, there's a lot of great, honestly, I would like to, out in Colorado, there's lots of mountainous roads that are kind of desolate

and have really beautiful views. When we drove down to, not Killington, that's Vermont. When we drove down to Telluride, it was beautiful. It was like an hour ride drive, hour drive. And along the way, it's like there was literally like waterfalls and shit. That was really cool. And there's a lot of really good ones in Tennessee, like going from North Georgia up to like Pigeon Forge in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

You do a lot of mountainous stuff. It's the same thing. Although that's kind of scary to me. That doesn't seem like starter stuff because when you're going through the mountains of Tennessee, it's a lot of winding circles around and around the mountain as you go up or down in elevation. And it's just, I mean, you'd be leaning into turns

for 30 minutes at a time. I mean, ideally, I would be at a regional airport by myself actually that kind of space four miles of straight line four miles of straight line that was fun let's do it again oh all right enough of that you know uh we'll we'll see one of the best places i'm sorry one of the best places in the country to ride is actually in north carolina it's called taylor the dragon and i'm just looking at now there's 318 curves and 11 miles and uh it's as dangerous as you make it you can go slow you know is there like the cotton candy trail seven miles no turns

can we take turtle avenue or just something like that yeah tail of the dragon we're not all right i'm sorry woody all right look i'm all for motorcycle time we're not going to somewhere that we find by going to tail of the dragon.com curves and 11 miles what even is the math on that is there any straight it's just a roundabout isn't it it's basically like switchbacks or up and around the mountains and such and like i said you know look you can go six miles across around some of these curves or you can go 60 miles around something fly off a mountain yeah Yeah, I don't have a... Buy a shirt that says, I survived.

Does that exist? Do they have a shirt that says, I survived the Dragon's Tour? Is it the online store? Let's see. I mean, a lot of their... God, this group picture, they look like such douchebags. Oh, there's the Devil's Triangle. Another fun one. I do not have like a racing motorcycle i'll show everybody what mine looks

like you know like i've got a really nice bike it's fine i like it it looks really nice um this is what i have mine has some um detachable like i think they're called panniers or like saddlebags on the side but um uh yeah this is what i have it's a 650 but it's single cylinder so it might be less powerful i think it's less fast than the 500 you're looking at but um really i mean the 500 top set at like 100 miles per hour i want to say i've gone max speed and it might be 85 or 90 on my okay like it's pretty comfy at 65 i think i bought mine for was it 4500 am i undercutting it i forget it's been a couple years maybe seven grand like i like

your bike a lot um the aesthetic that i like is is the one i'm looking at but i do like your bike a lot i like the rebel too when you said rebel i was like i've had one of those it's not that cool and then i saw it like actually they got way cooler since 1993 you can buy this cow you can buy this cowling that goes around the the headlight so it's not just that round thing that it's like this black sort of uh thing that goes around it and it looks it looks really nice i don't know i like that that's that's exactly what i like in a motorcycle it's kind of understated it doesn't look like i'm trying to be some fucking spaceman mine's black that makes any difference but um yeah yeah that's that's what i have and um you make me want to get

out on it i haven't been riding it very much but uh yeah i like the styles you guys have those harley ones they just look absurd well it depends which harley they make a nice they make some nice like cruisers that are similar to the rebel but they're 14 15 000 the long i don't know what those are oh yeah and what do they call those cruisers i think choppers yeah um the long way up the ewan mcgregor thing i talked about they have electric harleys this time around so that'd be interesting to see their experience with that. Let me show you what the Harley version looks like. Off the top of my head, I think, yeah.

Well, this is actually just some mufflers, but they're on the motorcycle that I'm talking about. So that's fine. I looked up easiest motorcycle trail in America, and I don't see anything. So this is not a very common search. Like, I don't think that looks all that much better than the Honda I'm looking at. And this is like a $15,000 motorcycle.

The Bassani. I kind of like the Honda more. Honda has an aftermarket seat that's kind of embroidered that I like a lot. I saw that seat. It looks, it comes in brown and black and I like it it i like it a lot yeah honda looks cooler than this one yeah yeah i think i like the honda i really notice i'm sorry in the motorcycle community harleys are really cool and there are harley riders who might be like you're not as cool as me but uh that's probably not a primary concern. It's not at all.

It's not at all because they are cooler than me because they know how to ride their motorcycle and I don't. That's one of those things I've never understood. If a Corvette pulled up next to me somewhere and everyone went, I'm like, you're much faster. I don't get this dick measuring contest that you're gonna get in with like mandingo jones he's like yo you want to pull him out measure no no you win mandingo jones no sir you're gonna get a ticket i'm gonna have to google mandingo i'm just making that up okay the imaginary name of a black porn star that i just invented but actually it's this dude on instagram i bet he's got a big honker he might he's pretty buff looking black guy but he doesn't show his dick yeah but you're right that is i mean i nobody ever wants to race me in my honda

but like yeah if i had a camaro and somebody pulled up and like what are they like zr1 corvettes like those really nice ones or zio. I don't know. The really fucking fast one. Yeah. Has that actually happened? Yeah. Absolutely. They wanted to match up. I've raced people that were in comparable cars. Like if a BMW was it the 3M? Yeah, the 3, I think.

Me and that guy were about the same speed. It seemed like we were both going about 120 or something like that on the road to the airport. And by the end, we just kind of waved at each other and we went our separate ways. Because I was like, yeah, you're fast. And he was like, yeah, you are too. And we went too fast.

Wow, you were early for our flights. Yeah, we were early for our flights. Yeah, we absolutely were. But I've had people pull up in a Hellcat or something and just... And I'm just like, you win. What are you doing? I got 420 horsepower. You probably got 600.

Like it's game over, bro. I'm not I'm not looking to prove anything. Like we could just pull out our spec sheets at some point. I've never gotten that sort of dick measuring contest stuff with like how fast your thing is versus my thing. If we had both built race cars and we're at a racetrack it's completely different i don't know what you've got you don't know what i've got but if we're in street cars like what the fuck are we doing yeah i mean i i've i don't want to be in any kind of street race seems scary especially on the bike. You know Paul Walker. That's true.

He was in a car. Right? So motorcycles are safer. Facts. Motorcycles are safer by that anecdotal experience, yes. You know what? Get it. I'm really thinking about getting it. It's almost free. What are those

three-wheel things called that look like stingrays that you see old guys driving sometimes the way they got the two wheels in the front though yeah yeah what are those those oh those look kind of dumb but they also look cool like i'd like to drive one of those that'd be neat not have those hang on let's see if those exist and if you could rent one oh wow you know what i'm talking about where i do it looks just like it's called a can-am spider can-am spider spider with a y i think i'm looking at the right thing oh this looks pretty cool yeah it's like if you're too much of a bitch to ride a motorcycle oh these are way more expensive yeah this is only 85 i'm looking at rentals actually um

you can rent them in atlanta here um right i hope this happens like i'm convincing myself like when i when i was like you know i do need to finance something you know i i've just got credit cards and you don't want to be stupid about this no for real though like i do need to finance something for credit purposes and uh and uh you know all i have is credit cards i haven't financed anything of value since I do need to finance something for credit purposes. And, uh, and, uh, you know, all I have is credit cards. I haven't financed anything of value since like, I bought that accurate when I was like in my early twenties or something like

that, I should finance something. And this is like the, this is a motor vehicle and it's fucking, I probably financed three or $4,000 or something like that. Like put a couple, a couple, a couple,

a couple grand down. Just makes sense. And then if I, if I $4,000 or something like that, like put a couple grand down. It just makes sense. And then if I write it and I don't like it, I could just turn around and sell it, and I wouldn't lose more than $1,000 or something like that. I would pay $1,000 for another 40 credit score. Yeah, I hear you. I have no idea what my credit score is.

I don't know how it works exactly. But the last – so I took a loan out on my truck. You could, what happened? I didn't want to take a loan on the truck, but they give you a thousand dollars off if you financed it. So I think I put all but 8,000 down. And then after one month I paid that off and that was able to save me a

grand on somehow. And, but my financing with Ford motor credit probably. Yeah. Yeah. You got a rebate. month I paid that off and that was able to save me a grand on somehow. And, uh, but my financing with Ford motor credit probably. Yeah. Yeah. You got a rebate. Thank you. That's what I'm trying to say. And, um, so that's all, that's like the last loan I've had in over seven years. So my credit record must be empty. I don't know. Mostly. Yeah. Do you have credit cards? I feel like we, yeah, we do. We do have some credit cards. So like our Amazon purchases go on a credit card that we pay off i use the amazon card do you do

that yeah it gives the best rebate for amazon it's like synchrony bank or something like that is their other lender um i don't know mine's in the mid 700s but i'd like to get it to 800 um you know mine had broken eight but i don't know what it is now because like i feel like that was 10 years ago it was over eight like i don't know yeah yeah i ruined mine when i was like 20 when i was 19 or 20 or something like that so that's gone right oh yeah that's long gone yeah yeah yeah after seven years everything's just off there i had a i had a dent on my credit record that frustrated me. It wasn't even my fault.

There was a health insurance. There was a bill for health care that they said I didn't pay. The bill was $68. And I was like, I don't know what this is. I had an HMO. I paid my copay. The HMO pays the other part. I don't know anything about this.

And they're like, well, it's on here. And I was like, well, fuck it. I'll pay $68 justMO pays the other part. Like, I don't know anything about this. And they're like, well, it's on here. And I was like, well, fuck it. I'll pay $68 just to fix the credit record. The insurance company was out of business and I couldn't pay them. And I was like, well,

okay, who do I pay? They're like, Nope, that's not an option either. You know, like it's, they're out there.

You can't call them and pay them. And I was like, well, yeah, I'll wait seven years. Fuck yourself. Yeah. It was like well yeah i'll wait seven years yourself yeah it was like have you guys ever got this i got a uh a letter recently and i was just going through my mail and everything and i opened it and it was like collections for 210 for a water service or

something and i was like like what the fuck like i have everything on autopay there's no fucking way that and like it was just a straight up scam thing like i looked it up online a predatory way to take advantage of old people who don't know how to look it up and just assume like oh dear my credit's going to be ruined if i don't pay this random guy on the phone and it's like jesus christ i bet that like just it looked really official until i was like, oh, no, this is bullshit. But like, I guarantee they make a fuck ton on that. I mean, they wouldn't do it if not. Absolutely.

Yeah, I use a credit monitoring thing. So I log in there and I can see if anything ever pops up. And, you know, I can see that's how paying stuff down, you know, affects my credit. And so and it gives you recommendations for oh do this make an extra payment this month and you could add five points to your credit score i'm like all right well here have ten dollars i not that taylor but i used to have credit cards opened in my name all the time like my docs i don't know if they still are but they were searchable on the internet and you could find out like where i lived and everything i guess you needed but um since then we figured

out how to really lock down our credit report and it is even i can't open a loan in my name without lots of trouble it's a oh yeah it's better than the alternative you can do that with credit karma actually you can you can just click a button and just uh lock everything down it's pretty cool ours was a bigger pain in the ass. I think we had to call all three services. There's like Equifax and two more. TransUnion. That sounds right. And get it all set up.

They only wanted to do it temporarily. And I was like, it's got to be permanent. Anyway, it was a big ordeal. But we used to have credit cards in our name open like every six weeks or so. There'd be another one that popped up. It was awful. Yeah. Yeah. six weeks or so there'd be another one that popped up it was awful yeah yeah i had a what the main thing that messed my credit up when i was credit up when i was 19 was um that i had an apartment

that flooded and uh and they i think they called it a hawk alert or something like that that they put on my credit rating uh because they said that i had done it they had no proof that i had done it they had no proof that I flooded that apartment. Were you the one that put the hanger on the – Yeah, for those who don't know, I was ironing up a nice outfit for my birthday dinner for either my 19th or 20th birthday going out with a girl. And I ironed my my shirt unlike i did tonight unlike

tonight and uh went to hang it up on the sprinkler because that was right above where the ironing board was and it just looked so convenient and when i got the pants done and i went to remove the the the hanger and the shirt from the sprinkler i twisted a little and you probably can see that little red thing that's in there that's just a piece of fucking plastic that melts in a fire to release the gates of hell and i released the gates of hell and i don't know how many thousands of gallons gushed into that apartment in in 30 minutes but it was enough to ruin everything that i owned and destroy the apartment and isn't it all like the oldest shittiest water because it's been stuck in those pipes? It's so disgusting.

The first like 400 gallons were just red like fucking Moses had called on the fucking Red Sea or something. It was just red as blood, rust water onto all of my clothes and my entire living room. I hadn't been in that apartment long. My bed was in the living room. I had just thrown the mattress and box springs on the floor in the bed. I'd been there like a month or something like that. I hadn't even set up the bedroom. I've been working so much and the bed's ruined.

Huh? I wasn't going to judge, but thanks, Taylor. How many months does it take you to get your bed set up huh i wasn't gonna judge but thanks taylor how many months does it take you to get your bed set up i was 19 i'm 19 working like 65 70 hours a week when i get home i'm going to sleep i didn't have any help my parents weren't supporting the move nobody i had to move everything by myself it doesn't sound like you had many visitors i did have visitors oh are you gonna fuck me on that mattress in your living room yes yes they would ah well i'm 19 and don't know better so i don't know how this is so but really how was that birthday it wasn't that bad oh that's good once we got to dinner once we got

to dinner smelling like rust. You know, I don't know how I got cleaned up, but I did somehow or another and made it to dinner. I remember being really bummed out just sitting there like, so this is my only suit of clothes that I own now. Let me pay this check with my wet money. It's fucking awful. So yeah, they put that on my credit report because there was no way 19-year-old me

was going to be paying for an entire destroyed apartment. And that stayed on there for seven fucking years. Jesus Christ. That is I guess seven years. Jesus Christ. That is, I guess, seven years. You know, that was eight years ago. So what is this?

What do you have here? Marriage defeated by gay drag queen? Yeah, this was the politics topic I talked about pre-stream. I guess there's a Democrat who opposed equal marriage. And then a gay drag queen took his job. I guess the gay drag queen was, you'd think he'd be a democrat too but it was the democrat who opposed the gay marriage but anyway i thought it was fun you can see a picture of this dude i don't know hopefully that's not wrong in drag uh he goes by i need a man when he's a drag queen.

And he's a Delaware. Get it? I Need a Man. I Need a Man. And yeah, so in Delaware, we're going to get a gay drag queen representative. Oh, this is the Delaware House of Red. This is at the state level, I think, if I understand this job. Yeah, yeah.

It looks like state level. How much do those guys make? How much do state level people I think, if I understand this job. Yeah, yeah. It looks like state level. How much do those guys make? How much do state level people make? I looked it up. I was like low key, like interested in politics. You know, I was like, what? That's where you'd start, right? You'd be like a house. You got a better chance becoming a neurosurgeon at this point, my friend.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. At that level? Yeah. It's like 13 grand a year.'s like 13 000 a year and then i guess the per diem is notable enough to like double that or so but um even then like you're not getting it's it's not like politician money that you might think you know like a part-time job yeah and um i think the per diem would be shit if you live nearby like that doesn't cover your

miles and your so in rock in north carolina raleigh's a state capital so i wouldn't have the kind of miles and hotel and stuff that the other representatives would have because i'm 10 minutes away but uh but yeah i think the money is absolutely terrible. That must not be the motivation for doing the job. But I need a man. Just want to knock out this guy who hated gay marriage. What's his real name? Congratulations to... Anita Mann. Anita.

Or who is it? Lou... Fight the power. Eric Morrison. I haven't... I matched him too. 60% to 30-some percent. Oh, that's a just's that's that's a real

beating i have an ama question here it says uh it's and it's for me so i'm i'm biased what's your technique for a one guy two girl three way i'm about to have my first one well congratulations my friend make sure there's no sharp objects near the bed first of all um i think uh i think you're gonna want i think the two main positions is one girl sitting on your penis and one girl sitting on your face and the other is one girl in her bag while the other girl goes down on her while you fuck the girl who's going down on her those are those are the the two positions you're going to enjoy the most. I don't know. I've seen a lot of porn, and I think Guy Fucks Girl Missionary, other guy holds camera and says, why don't you love me?

That doesn't sound right. It sounds sad. It sounds depressing to watch. Are you judging me? I think that's a different kind of three-way. That's a different one. Also fun. That's why he asked you, I guess.

A couple of $5 hot and ready pizzas to refill your just eating carbo load. Extra cheese. Probably not a good idea either before the three-way. You don't want a carbo load michael no you got a car full of load before you fuck right i've never done anything so strenuous i thought man i really need to carbo load before i get started i have i have there have been times

where i'll think like oh man i'm gonna go work out you know it would be helpful to have a couple eggo waffles and then like you'll think about it and be like that's the most ludicrous thing you could you do not need waffles you fat fuck like you unless you're you're running a marathon you don't need to carbo load like that that. Or like a real-deal fucking lifter. But it is a good excuse. I remember before hockey games being like, oh, no, I got to carbo-load. That's why I need five plates of pasta. All jokes aside, if I were headed into a three-way,

I think I'd actually consider Bluetooth as one of our sponsors. Knock your refractory period down to like five minutes if at all and right and thank you for seeing the obvious sign on the wall and going for it that i think blue chew could be your friend in this situation heck you might fucking love it and six minutes in be like well i'm gonna have two unhappy ladies here unless uh we get around two so yeah you want to take that every day anyway it's just every day give yourself 10 milligrams of tadalafil it's good for your blood pressure good for everything makes your dick hard and did you know that you can get some for free this episode of pka is brought

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Get yourself a hard dick. That gentleman, if you're not already on the blue chew train, what are you doing? Asking Kyle for advice. You know that his first lick of advice would have been, Kyle didn't include the blue chew advice because it's just part of his morning routine.

You know, that's what I'm saying is that it's just so natural for you, but obviously the blue chew is integral to making sure that threesome is a wonderful time for everyone involved. Yeah. Taking to Dalafil is the same as brushing my teeth. It just happens every day. Mm hmm. Yeah.

And it's good for your dick. Good for your good. Good for three ways. So that's good for everything. Stamp of approval. Get yourself some blue chew. Code P.K.A. All right.

See, Kyle, you didn't want to talk about motorcycles here we are an hour in when we really milked that cow for i could talk more i just i could go home show i'm really into it and i like the idea of us uh of us going for a little ride together and i really like the idea of like you, Taylor, finding some way to like come with us, but not have to be on a motorcycle. I like all the, all the, but I would do that three wheeler thing.

I would, you know, I can probably be convinced to just do a fucking motorcycle. Are you sure? I think you might need a motorcycle license for the three wheeler thing. Oh, I thought you could just rent all this stuff. Yeah. You could rent a car. You still need a motorcycle license for the three-wheeler thing oh i thought you could just rent all this stuff yeah you could rent a car you still need a license that's true no that's true

hang on let me see if you need a motorcycle license to ride a can-am i'll probably have to sign some liability thing when you fuck up i have a friend at, used to work at an auto rental place. He says, never buy the insurance. True. True. Yeah.

I would make an exception for a motorcycle. I'd be like, Oh, I'm getting the personal liability for when I break my legs. So you need, we all would need to get motorcycle license. Or I guess Woody already has one. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm definitely getting one let me see what's the ticket though oh it's a hundred to a thousand dollars what is that i don't understand the ticket for riding a bike without a life jesus that's the plan i mean look yeah i think there's a lot more implied you might your insurance probably doesn't cover you if you're driving without a license and like it's not the it's not the way to go right i'm not driving a motorcycle license oh man afraid of a little danger how square are you gonna be this podcast taylor man hasn't worn a condom in two years i gotta get a license i don't want to mess up my future.

That's a good one. I mean, but if something goes wrong, in one instance, I get a kid, which, you know, is more expensive than a motorcycle. I've never had a tumor. Yeah? I mean, but you've been down that road. Yeah, I have.

You know what to anticipate. What's really scary? Is a child? I would rather have another tumor is a child technically a tumor no it is in my book it's a growth right inside her belly is it a parasite what is a child it is a parasite it's another person what's there's been a tapeworm and a fucking fetus i'm baffled well one of them is growing inside as like part of them being a kid you know it's their own genetic material the other one is a

nefarious parasite that's siphoning resources off and making them ill well wait a minute the child also siphons off resources and makes you ill That is the definition of a child. No, it doesn't make you ill. What? It doesn't make you ill. It makes you so fucking ill. Have you ever seen a child? Yeah, but

what do you have, children? I thought you'd be on the side of... I thought you threw up day and night for five months. It makes you ill. That's true. Alright. Those were his darkest days. Alright, you can convince me I'll drive a motorcycle without a license across the country.

I'm trying to convince you to wear a fucking condom, not ride a bike. That I will not abide. Sex is not fun. I will never go back to condoms. I'm never going back. You can't make me go back to condoms. I'll say that to people listening. I'm never going back. You can't make me go back to condoms. I don't care what Bill Gates says.

I'm not doing it. I mean, if you're fucking in the Sudan, you definitely want to wear a condom, but I think you probably... I'm fucking in the Sudan. And I wouldn't fuck in the Sudan because that seems like risky business. The AIDS problem there is pretty enormous.

That's my point you can bring your own girl lower your to sudan hey do i judge your vacations can you imagine if i was like i'm guys i'm not gonna be on pk this week i'm going to sudan oh no i'm doing i'm gonna drive a sudanese motorcycle across the planet let's hope i don't get caught and beheaded i would totally do that long way down i saw the movie it was great i got aids from the motorcycle yeah i i'm really starting to lean toward wanting to do a motorcycle trip um i don't want to pressure taylor in anything that he's just like yeah that's not me i'm not doing that but i'm down i will say that i'm down. And look, getting a motorcycle license

takes one day, Taylor. Literally a single day and like $300. I'm not going to learn enough in a day. Yeah, you are. What's the day? How do you envision this day going? Yeah, you are. It's a day class. Do you leave with a license?

Yeah. According to the five minutes of research i did last night okay yeah well i'm not i don't know anything about georgia but motorcycles in north carolina and new jersey you pass a written test you have a permit for some period of time where you're allowed to have a someone riding with you and then um i think you also can't ride at night then you come back and take a road test but i don't know possible i'm wrong although if we compare the handgun situation uh from georgia to north carolina it would only make sense that they're like we'll give you a gun for in exchange for a fingerprint as a matter of fact you leave the motorcycle course with a gun too

where are you gonna put your holster right side or left side yeah yeah so i would have to study you would have to study yeah well look this is not you took a driver's test before this is just as easy i look in the pictures for the the coursework they said that if you've ridden before, if you have any experience, like if you know how to use the clutch, it's one day. If you have zero experience, it's two days. And there were some photographs of some people doing the written test. I'm not going to say that you can judge a book by its cover or a man's IQ from his forehead, but you'll pass.

You'll pass. Wait, you can judge a man's IQ by his forehead? Because I'm doing all right. I'm looking pretty smart. I might be the smartest guy on the show by that measure. For someone who doesn't have any idea what they're doing, what if that person also has a really bad attitude about it? That won't be helpful I'm just angry

at the guy you're going to pop the clutch right now shut the fuck up if you actually were willing and you wanted to do the thing you could get the license and then rent one of those three wheeler can-am things so that you feel extra safe.

Um, or I would, if I could get a sidecar for my, for my shitty motorcycle, um, that would be incredibly hilarious to have. I mean, it would be a good way to die to have you in my sidecar.

Just, eh, you gotta get those goggles, those little round goggles just packed in there yeah the round goggles and the leather hat yeah like uh like like what do they call like dick dastardly or whoever in uh in that racing cartoon and you can be that yeah oh that'd be so funny is that what it is i want it's kyle does what does a round sign indicate you want the multiple choice yes no passing school hospital upcoming railroad crossing upcoming railroad crossing i think you're right uh as a motorcycle operator you can help others

see you by headlight off wear bright clothing follow vehicles closely not using turn signals it's easy it's where i'm yelling you're gonna get that right i probably it's hard it's easier i'm here during the day your headlights should not be used. High beam, low beam, or alternate between high and low? I would probably just run low beams. I think you're going to be right. You can slow down by downshifting, upshifting, cross-shifting, or rolling on the throttle. It's a myth.

It's an automatic. I don't know what rolling on the throttle means, so I would downshift. I think you're right. I think that means to gradually increase throttle, which is not not gonna be it um the body eliminates how many drinks per hour one two three four one i think you got these all right no during the day you should use the high beam setting oh okay i was wrong about that too well i'll never forget it now though yeah well we will i don't think this is entertaining content but i know let's do the whole motorcycle maybe there's like maybe there's a someone listening who can just send me my uh my license through the mail and let's do let's do

facebook quizzes i just think it's a little harder than you might think i remember there was like they were showing my like um formations for different motorcycles and like you know that how have you you know you can kind of zigzag the line between them and like how do you alter this formation as you all approach a turn and i'm like fuck if i know like there were things i didn't know that weren't obvious yeah i i don't think that i could i could i probably couldn't pass um you know just going in blind but i'm just saying after a day class i'll pass because i i just remember that stuff i don't know one thing i feel like most of my adult life all tests become fake like you go you bomb the fuck out of your test and they're like all right

kyle you got nine wrong hypothetically given second chance, what would you have said on this question? Right. That's how most of my adult tests have gone. When I took my concealed carry, I only got one question wrong. But I saw other people get a lot wrong, and that's exactly how they handled it. They're like, let's talk about this one.

That's your new answer. They did that in my concealed carry thing too which was which sucked because i signed up and paid for it and then like that monday missouri was like new legislation everyone can concealed carry don't even bother with the light it was like are you fucking kidding me but like the final test other than taking questions which was like how many bullets should you fire at friends one it's like all right i'm fucking ace in this feeling great and then it was like all right you need to stand what was it i think it was seven yards away from a target like a human target and it was like oh do we need to hit like right in like one of those middle two little ones and

it's like hit the paper man just hit the paper and like there was this old lady you could have yosemite sammed your way through that thing and they'd be like good enough it went off it's just like it feels like it's a joke where it's like wait this is the whole test it's like yep just hit five out of five and it's like you'd have to try to fail but there was this woman who was really struggling and it was like she got to double up on attempts she had no business with a gun but she must have done well on the written portion because she's seven yards i can use a mirror and shoot over my shoulder and hit the target every time in the head all right ours was a little tougher in colors because

here's what they did with ours what if i did that at one of those times if i get my mirror out and put oh my god get the hell out there they'd take my gun away. You do that like Ron Swanson, like I know more than you. And they just start shooting. Yeah, they take that seriously. And ours, get this. So they had to pick, the gun would be on the table. They'd give you like 10 seconds to put the magazine in the gun, rack the slides, put three shots on target,

and then put the gun back down again. And the accuracy part wasn't really the test it was more about like handling the gun you know putting the magazine in racking the slide and getting on target and uh then they did like similar type things but they turned the lights off and turned the blue lights on like a police car would have the blue and red lights like flashing and shit and i'm like how is is this a police test like this is my situation at all all right send the negroes in and roll the fog all right broiled in a fight with the law yeah but it was the same place the police used in their testing

and they that's what they did did you see that i want to say it was a philadelphia cop i want to say it was philly cop um throwing down with the black guy like black guy wanted to fight and philly cop was like let's fight then and they're just fucking like boxing it out like by a train he had a lot of skills too right the cop did or angling they both did seem it looked like but the cop was even they were get it my cop was better the cop was better but they were maintaining distance and had good form and it was just like what is this they had range they were like using their jab to find range and shit yeah i saw it the i think i've read about it. The cop was also black, right? The cop was white. Oh, I think it's a different one then.

I'm pretty sure. My guy trained in Muay Thai, and that's why he was so good. We might be thinking of a different one. Nothing comes up when I put cop box in black. Okay. Public freak out out of course is this guy a mime? oh this is a different one but it's outstanding

it's not good for you bro damn damn cop wants more the cop wants more do you want to pick it up on this we've watched it I'm sorry yeah he already played it it's fine

but yeah I uh I like that people are giving the cop respect for this meanwhile it's like he shouldn't be doing that he should be arresting this guy this guy's a criminal what is he Batman it's like it's set up I wouldn't be doing that. He should be arresting this guy. This guy's a criminal. What is he, Batman? It's like it's set up. I wouldn't even consider that.

I wouldn't think so because as a cop, you have to be real careful about that sort of thing. You get in a lot of trouble for setting up a fist fight at a train station for a camera. He doesn't have a gun, right? This policeman, because it's UK, maybe? He's got a gun. It's Philadelphia have a gun, right? This policeman, because it's UK, maybe? He's got a gun. It's Philadelphia. Oh, is it? I don't know why I got the idea it was UK.

I don't know. It's on where? Is it on the back? It's on his hip. I'd say it's on his right hip. You can't see it there. How do you know he's Philly? Does it say it on his jacket? It's the title of the video. Oh, okay. Okay.

Only in Philadelphia. Hmm. Well, all right then. I'm outside my depth. I don't know what I'm talking about. But when people talk about what police should do, I'm often like, we need ideas that don't involve getting too close.

Right? I hear Brazilian Jiu-J uh pitched at cops a lot and like i want to grapple with someone when there's a gun on my hip and i i understand it's a locking holster but it's not a key lock it's a button you push right there's potential for that to go very badly very quickly yeah and and boxing like i'd rather i think that i'd rather see this cop eight feet away shooting the taser you know than boxing because what if he gets you know knocked out or something now he's so vulnerable they need those net guns like they had in the cartoons like batman at what they need like a grenade launcher that shoots fucking a big cartoon style net around these guys that's a good idea yeah i watched a really disturbing police video a couple nights ago.

It was these two Tulsa police officers who pulled over this white guy, and they're telling him to get out of the vehicle, screaming at him, pointing tasers at him for literally five, ten minutes. This is the last time I'm going to tell you to get out. But it's not. He's going to give him at least five more finally that he tastes the guy doesn't work very well pepper sprays the guy doesn't work very well and both cops are trying to drag him out of his front seat and the guy gets his hands on a

gun and kills them both right there kills really cops was cops. Was it a PCP situation? No, it was just an angry white guy situation. How did he get his hands on a gun? Was there one in his own? Okay. It was under the seat of his car. And he had been so like crazy for so long, like scrambling around and resisting that they just didn't see him get his hands on it. And he just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and just killed them both. What's the name of the Tulsa?

The black guy who got shot seven times, maybe. And there were a lot of riots about it recently. He was going back into his car. Just Jacob. Is that Arbery? Was it Jacob Blake? It might be Jacob Blake. You might be right.

Anyway, regardless. Regardless. Right, right. Anyway. Regardless. Regardless. Right, right. So another video made the rounds around that time because this guy in the video I'm talking about, he's a big, white, strong Vietnam vet guy, similar to the Amber Lamps bus dude, if you remember him. Right? Oh, yeah. Epic Beard Man. Yeah.

Those guys. Epic Beard Man. Right? They could be brothers, this guy, but this guy's a bad dude. And, uh,

the cop is trying to get them to sort of just comply and stop being an asshole or whatever. And, uh, big scary white guys, maybe threateningly walking towards the cop and the cop pulls the gun. Big scary white guy goes back to his pickup truck, opens the door,

takes out a shotgun murders the cop and and the video made the rounds as a reason for like this is why we can't let people go back to their cars which is the situation that happened more recently oh yeah and um uh it was like yeah like like you don't want anyone to use violence, right? You know, someone said, and I think I might have repeated it, like nurses across the nation are able to calm down irrational violent people all the time without shooting them. Okay, okay. You know all hospitals have security teams, right?

True. And typically a patient doesn't have the same like motivation to get out of there you know they're they're you're just trying to help them if i have a warrant out for my arrest i might do any kinds of i may make a series of wild decisions you know to avoid going to prison um so there's videos we've watched together i think of like where it shows how fast that can swap where it'll there's one i'm thinking of where there's one in particular where a guy successfully like grabs a gun off of a cop after starting like wrestling and something happens and then another one was like uh i think it might have

been a car one not not the recent one this was like wait probably years ago he watched it but like like flip around and started firing so much it was in front of a gas station that's what i remember we watched it together there was some crazy it was a it was a white guy doing the shooting i think i wouldn't want to be a fucking cop no i would not want to be a fucking cop i don't get paid enough for that shit a video i want to heavily influence my opinion is um we've watched it together i think the guy was a ferguson community leader right and uh remember ferguson there was michael brown maybe got shot and then they went wild about it um and this guy was like you know hey i want their jobs i want

their badge i want their gun and he's out there chanting and whatever so the police said hey come take a training with us come and and understand the training that we go through and to his credit the dude said yes right and they put him through these scenarios that go from like zero to 100 in no time you know guy acting all chill hey you know but is this your car how come you're standing here the guy's like hey everything's cool man how come you're bothering me and uh that video do you remember the video it we watched it on my stream a couple times in the last month or so and uh that has heavily influenced my opinion on like what i expect from police from non-compliant people now now some of these police are beating up people who are totally compliant or already handcuffed and handled and stuff like

that and i'm not saying there's no bad cops crawl towards me. Do the Macarena. Do the stanky leg. Did you hear Simon Says, motherfucker? I didn't hear Simon Says. He's twitching. I didn't hear Simon Says. Boom. Head pop.

Yeah, in particular, that cop we're talking about in the hotel, he wanted him to crawl towards him while his hands were up. And he's like hands up crawl towards hands up crawl towards me and the guy didn't what he wanted him was to walk towards him yeah you know but uh the guy had been the victim had been drinking and didn't understand how to crawl hands up and got shot and killed yeah so let that be a lesson to you all practice your crawling it may save your life but uh your son says anyway yeah that i wish destiny were here i wish he had made it on. Anyway, he was scheduled to be the guest of the show, and he couldn't make it.

Scheduling got him. Yeah, I think we'll see him again sometime in the near future. I know we've got a guest next week that's very cool. So maybe we get him on after that. Chiz has it all planned out. But, yeah, I planned out, but, but yeah, I hope so. Cause I know destiny gotten a bit of hot water for those,

uh, comments that he made regarding the, the protests and shooting those protesters. And I don't want to, I don't want to quote him cause I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know he got in a bit of a bit of hot water over the whole thing. I would have happened with it. Cause it was like,

apparently he got deep partnered, like partnership benefits are taken away from him and then he's still got that little purple check next to his name maybe they let that stay but i i wanted to ask like what the fuck like what what's the big difference this is gonna make for you get up youtube like i was gonna ask you actually i thought so i heard he got de-partnered and i heard he's not oh by the way keep mind, this comes from my Twitch chat, which is the second least reliable source on the internet. So don't take any of this to heart. But they said he got all the way knocked down.

He was Twitch partner and then below that is affiliate. And then below that, I think it's called streamer. And he got knocked down to that lowest level, which has no subs and no merch and fewer emotes and uh apparently the algorithm uh is changed like like you as a partner taylor might be promoted or more findable you know than uh than a non-partner um so he's gonna get and they say it takes effect at the end of the month again this is my twitch chat i wish destiny were here to explain it um so that might be why he still has the purple check marker

maybe that doesn't go away maybe they'll make sense if it's a month thing maybe to like let the subs all like tick out and then just end it i mean if that's what it is that's just kind of a slow trickle ban right it's like oh we're not going to ban you all at once we're going to do everything but ban you and then yeah you know probably hit him with that ban hammer my twitch chat which i'm sorry my twitch chat which i mentioned again second release reliable source of the internet uh says that destiny says it's going to cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, which one congratulations for it being possible to lose that much on Twitch because I couldn't. You were killing it.

I know. But again, who knows? It came from my chat. But yeah, he was not a YouTube presence. I would imagine he's able to stream on YouTube now, though. So, right?

Yeah, but Twitch is better for monetization. Like the Twitch subs, the like, it's just apparent. And I haven't streamed on YouTube, but apparently the reason people do it on Twitch is because it's so optimized for the creator to get more benefits. Whereas YouTube still sees themselves as a hosting platform. Don't they force mid-rolls onto you on Twitch? Yeah. Yeah. still sees himself as a hosting platform don't they force mid-rolls on onto you on twitch yeah yeah i didn't you can like opt as a streamer to like hit them with an ad or something but but you know but you have to give them like an ad every 10 or 15 minutes to prevent like random mid-rolls that are like 90 seconds or something yeah my chat has been complaining about my ads lately and i have my my ads turned as off as possible.

When you join my stream, I can have it so you get an ad when you first join or not. I have everything off I can, and they still say there's way too many ads. So Kyle's right. There's something there. Yeah, I saw Landmark having that issue the other night. Because I was watching on my TV in the living room, and it seemed like every hour I was getting this big block of ads, like two or three minutes of ads, like one after another after another, three long ads.

And people were complaining about it, and he was like, I didn't play an ad. You guys are getting ads? I was like, yeah. And they were trying to figure out how to stop the ads because he's getting these mid-rolls in the middle of a raid in Tarkov. And you missed a good part of the raid. So I think they figured out that the solution was to run like one ad every 45 minutes or something like that, like a 30-second ad every 45 minutes to prevent random mid-rolls that are in big blocks to just happen. That must be a Twitch thing because I haven't had anybody on my channel saying they're getting ads. Maybe

I'm not big enough to get messed around with it or them trying it. I don't know. Bigger than me though and I've had complaints. Maybe your people just like your ads. Unless it's for Dawn, they don't like it. Yeah, I was getting ads for some sort of video game product

and for maybe the Army. I tend to sub to the people that I watch the most. I'm subbed to Landmark, for example, and I'm subbed to Anton. I watch him a lot too, so I never get ads. Yeah, I'm subbed, but I don't sign in on my TV. I haven't gone through the rigmarole of getting the code and punching it in and everything.

I don't mind the ads rigmarole of getting the code and punching it in and everything. I don't mind the ads anyway. It's pretty rare. Yeah, I don't know much about that, but I have seen a market rise in complaints about the number of ads, and I literally never run it. You must have the same thing clicked as me,

because you can select ad-free viewing. I have that enabled, so there's never ads. That's on joining, right? That's on if you go to partner dashboard and then under subscriptions. Oh, so ad-free for subs maybe? No, this one just says ad-free viewing allows. Oh, subscribers. Yep, you're right my bad yeah so

for everyone maybe everyone watching you as a sub taylor you lucky dog you do this guy like a gazillion subs it may be fucking this guy i got a couple of big dick high t guys this guy mind loop yes he's showing up and throwing 50s around like nobody's business he's donated like 350 subs to my channel that's an enormous sum of money he is doing it and be like ha ha i'm like dude mind loo comes same for me but 25s but still thank you that's big he might have dropped to 50 as well yeah he's big i have another guy cheese crow who's just the alpha donator um this uh this ama this ama guy wants to know xbox series x or playstation 5 i haven't looked at either one neither i'm rocking this pc yeah the graphics card that i'm about to

buy cost me because more than both of those things i don't want a fucking console my cost as much as three of them yeah i don't want a fucking console what is it 30 60 70 80 30 whatever 30 that's coming i'm just doing i'm just going balls to the wall i'm getting the real nice one i don't want to have to do anything for five years that's what i'm doing so 30 80 i think is going to be the most popular high-end one, and it's very good. 3090 is considered overkill and perhaps even an unwise investment, and that's the one I'm getting.

Is it just because it's like, really? You need a 12-cylinder car, like that kind of thing? Part of it is the cost per speed increase that you're getting. You're getting so much bang for your buck with the 3080. And the 3090, it's not that the 3090 is as much better as the price increase. You know what I mean? So like the 3080, off the top of my head, I don't really remember, but like the 3080 is like $600 or $700.

And the 3090 is like $1,200. And you're not getting 30% more performance by going from a 3080 to a 3090. You're probably getting like 10 or 15 or something, maybe. But it is going to be the best thing you can get, I would imagine, for a while. Until Christmas, actually, when they make the 3090 Ti. Historically, yeah. But I think that I'll be – I could be wrong, but my expectation is to rock the 3090 for more than two years and then get a 5090 or

something 4090 yeah one year right oh yeah that'd be one year I see what you're doing there okay yeah so I went from the 1080 to the 3090 I might try to do that again well it's gonna be a gargantuan leap forward. Oh, from the 1080? Yeah, it's pretty good. It did shoot. And I have some real problems. Flight Sim is one of the hardest games to run. And if I get down into the city, which is the roughest part,

it drops to like 15 or 18 frames per second. Even a Twitch viewer is like, this is a slideshow, bitch. What is happening here? Yeah, I don't know which one i'm gonna get um but i'm definitely gonna get one because i was playing fallout the other day uh with a ton of mods on there and i was getting low frames um so i want something better because it's super demanding to run fallout 4 with lots and lots of performance mods

performance um taxing mods you know things that make the game look prettier and fancier and shinier yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't know anything about that i i would have guessed fallout 4 wasn't very taxing because it's an older game but you're not fucking 20 frames per second okay okay yeah yeah very taxing i mean i've got three mods just for how the vagina on my character looks so you got a nice and simpy oh simped out boy oh simped out i got the i got the human hair looking like a pot leaf it's so cool really no i'm glad you said really because i wasn't sure either oh i can't to me that you wouldn't do? Oh, I'm not saying that I can't.

That's one of the options. But I went with just a little racing stripe, real thin. Okay, tactful. I like it. Tactful, yes. You have the world as your oyster with any pattern, but sometimes a classic is a classic for a race. That's right.

That's right. I did make it blue, though, the pubic hair. Well, that's just awful. right i did make it blue though the pubic hair well that's just awful it's gonna have some algae chlorine looking pussy from all that yeah i like it uh tackling as a group a distance of blank should be between the lead writer and the writer directly behind them four seconds three seconds two seconds one second i don't know four is is it four i don't know but i can take the test and find you can't you can't give me questions if you don't have the

answer i was only saying that these are hard that's like that thing little kids will do like hey you want to hear what i did today yeah yeah what you do nothing kind of just was it kind of just kidded around all day i'll get the answer in a moment here i'm answering i'm gonna guess three seconds i'm gonna see four just i guessed four only because i thought the most was the best. Yeah. A minute. Four seconds. Okay, the answer is two seconds, so we all got it wrong. And also another one.

Not enough time. And I'm taking lessons from these people? This is the lesson? Two seconds? That's number seven. What do you have for that? A plastic shatter-resistant face shield is not necessary if you have a windshield. Or wait, no, this is written odd.

Oh, a plastic shatter-resistant face shield. It helps protect your whole face. Is not necessary if you have a windshield. Only protects your eyes. Helps protect your whole face. Is less effective than goggles. All right. Protects your whole face. It helps protect your whole face, is less effective than goggles. All right, protects your whole face.

It helps protect your whole face. You're partly wrong, because it turns out the answer is C and D. I didn't even know that was a thing. This is too hard. I'm not getting my license. We can knock that license out in a few hours, and then we could be road hogs together. We'll get those motorcycle gang cuts like on Sons of Anarchy, but there'll be Rape Squad Killer on the back.

I'm in for the outfits. Put the tea kettle on it. I'm in for the outfits. Will there be costumes? I love wearing costumes. He's going to get the leather jacket, leather chaps, big motorcycle boots, and then hop in a Toyota Corolla rental and tour the country with us.

I'm not going to spoil it. I'm going to be wearing another costume soon on my Twitch. Not for a sub goal or anything, just for fun. It should be in the mail tomorrow. I have a – I will spoil it. Taylor Merckx on Twitch. You're going to draw your eyebrows on on an upcoming stream? I'm going to erase some.

My chat donated to get me just for a minute. We're going to have complete eyebrows one of these streams that go more than just three quarters eye. You're going to up your gift buying game. Play a little didgeridoo for us.

Ease wax. Hit that bad boy. Let's go. No, put it on the mic. Okay. Warble. You need some warble. It's the same as the other one. That's it. That's what i'm looking for it sounds like it sounds like a used car with blown out speakers

pretty good right oh yeah i've heard better i don't even have thought you know what fuck you i think i can play a little better if I'm being honest I'll bring it with me on a road trip you can try you try it and you just go you can leave that thing with me I'm going to fucking smoke out of it

some fat rips off of that thing man I have a carb on the end of that thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Getting closer to my ancestors. Mother side of the world, but same accent, I suppose. Probably pretty similar. You ever see Quigley Down Under, the Tom Selleck movie where he's in Australia? Yeah. You know what? I's in Australia yeah that was a

you know what I was about to say that was a good movie I bet it's not it's a good movie I watched a year ago it's fucking good it's got a shithead who played a Snape in it whose name's escaping me right now really good actor uh I like it I like that movie oh Alan Rickman Alan Rickman yeah Quigley Down Under uh it's uh it's good it's fucking good I like that movie you know the beeswax also helps acts like a little bit of chapstick on your on your lips oh that's nice that's nice

it's very nice and so when you try it it'll be kind of like we kissed oh again yeah Woody you can try it too Chiz you can't try no this is a host only didgeridoo. That's right. This is the best didgeridoo

$36 can buy you on Amazon. I was really expecting it to be much more expensive for some reason. No, I was buying slide whistles and stuff and the guy's like, dude, Australian hand-dipped didgeridoo $36. Hand-dipped didgeridoo. Yeah bucks. Hand-dipped didgeridoo. Yeah, it's pretty tight.

You know, it's a big crowd pleaser. You know who hates it? My dogs. They hate didgeridoo. They absolutely hate it. I don't blame them. It's a weird sounding instrument. Also, not a lot of range on that thing not a lot of range i think maybe if you were in the outback you know

big wide open uh desert environment maybe it would carry yeah and i'll fully admit i am self-taught so oh really yeah no that's not exactly true there was a pamphlet that came with it and i used that as a basic. I would have never guessed. No. No. Did you hear the way I did the trademark? Wow, wow, wow.

Exactly. I thought I was in an Outback Steakhouse. That's how authentic that sounded. No rules, just right. That's how I play the digital. I love the Outback Steakhouse. All those Australian products that we've got in the U.S. You know the hair stuff, like shampoos, the Aussie brand?

Yeah. Has nothing to do with Australia whatsoever. They make it in Missouri or something. And the same thing with Outback Steakhouse. They're based in Illinois or somewhere like that. Middle America. Nothing to do with Australia. I don't even think they serve anything traditionally Australian there. It's just not great quality

American steak. I like that fucking bread though, dude. The bread really is good there. They go above and beyond with the bread. And that Bloomin' Onion is good. But you don't get credit for that because you can't really fuck up. You can't fuck that up. You can get Bloomin' Onions at 10 dozen places.

Yeah, I've made those before. You can buy those gigantic Vidalia onions and then slice them. I don't know. I've made them before. They're good. It was as good as Outback? It was better. Yeah, it was better.

That sounds good. Man, isn't that the appetizer where this was like 15 years ago when people gave a fuck about people getting fat? And it was like this one appetizer at Outback Steakhouse is 4,000 calories. It can't be. It's got to be something. All right, let's do some over and unders. I'm going to guess 1 guess 1700 calories. This is a Bloomin' Onion? Yeah.

I'm gonna guess 3000. I'm gonna go with the under. Did you say over or under? Did I make that up? I said 1700 was my guess, exactly. Oh. Well, then I'll go with 1699. Oh. I was right. Or No, $16.99. Oh, I was right.

Or no, I busted it. It's over $3,000. Yikes. Does that include that delicious dipping sauce? It's got to. Oh, it says, yeah, the dish contains a whopping 3,080 calories. For those keeping track, the original Bloomin' Onion is only 1,954

calories. Well, I was talking about the original. So 1,954 calories. Let's just call it 2,000 because you're going to be dipping. If you're going to be dipping, let's call it 2,400. I like that onion, but the Aussie cheese fries they have there are also really good. Just like Mama made them back in the day. Got a bit of ranch there. Give them a dip.

The traditional Australian dip of ranch. Ranch. I'd like to have it while I'm watching football and not be in an old prison island. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have any actual australian restaurants no kangaroo is served here and people in australia eat kangaroo all the time eat a ton of kangaroo yeah i would hear there

i would eat kangaroo you too yeah you know we're taught as children that they're these cute little lovable animals they're fucking violent monsters yeah they're hopping around disemboweled they're land raptors they seem as mean as birds in some in some instances as mean as birds yeah there was one clip i don't know if you've seen it it's this guy in the outback and his dog ran away not like you can't yeah and the dog is out there and there is a kangaroo with the dog in a headlock. And the guy's like, you know, you know, Tony, come on. Come on, Tony.

Come on. And he. Yeah, this right here. And the guy runs over there and starts fighting with the kangaroo to free his dog. And he actually he makes out OK. He punches the kangaroo in the face. And the kangaroo is just like, the fuck? Yeah.

Whoa. Hold the phone. What is this? What's this? You can swing, too. Whoa. Hold the phone. What is this? You can swing too? You've got longer arms? And in the fucked up world that we lived in in 2014, this was a huge controversy. Everybody was like, he hit the roo. Why would he do that?

He was going to kill his dog. Yeah. I would have hit the roo. I wasn't going to kill that fucking dog. He was just kind of holding the dog a little. Really? I don't trust a roo with my dogs. Kangaroos aren't known for their choking abilities, right?

The kangaroo wasn't choking the dog. My question is, what do kangaroos eat? Do they eat animals? No. Look, that's not a predator. It eats leaves. They have clawly hands. For digging.

What are they digging for if they're eating leaves? Leaves. Kangaroos are herbivores, so he probably wasn't going to kill the dog. It just means that he wouldn't have made any use of the dog. I'm just imagining a carnivorous kangaroo with big fangs

tearing into a buffalo or something. Yeah, that's like a sci-fi original. Remember how bad that movie was? Yeah. When we went out to Texas, that guy in Texas had a pet kangaroo that was like semi-domesticated and I would hand feed it carrots.

And you could see that the claws on that thing are pretty legit. Like you wouldn't want to fight it. How many carrots do you have to eat to just get jacked they must be eaten all day because they look pretty fit i don't know i fed it a lot of carrots though i want to say you could i want to say you could shoot the kangaroo for like 1200 or something if you wanted to he had all these animals there that were basically pets but because it was a hunting ranch it was like it was like yeah you like him he had all these animals there that were basically pets but because it was a hunting ranch it was like it was like yeah you like him he's a nice guy right you can

kill him for 3800 it's like shit you just hate every animal you met was like that like the fucking camel like runs over like hey balls how's it going you're feeding him fucking carrots or grain or whatever and he's eating out of your hand he's like yeah that's sushi my uh my camel you can kill it for eighty seven hundred dollars like every animal like that eggling on the life of it while you're feeding it carrots hey kyle this is my wife we'll talk privately i'll pay the switcheroo i'll pay you. Switcheroo, I'll pay you. $9,000. He was having, at the time that I was there, he was having quite the dispute with his wife. She might have been on the menu.

These things happen. There's got to be a place in the world. Actually, scratch that. There's got to be multiple places where you can hunt people. Yeah. And eat them. Multiple movies. Hostel style. The most dangerous them movies hostile style because most dangerous

game yeah the most dangerous game that happened in hostile that would have iced tea in it it may have had iced tea in it yes it did it absolutely did he had dreadlocks and john voight ah i think there's another one is there a john van john van dam movie where they hunt people maybe um no not to my knowledge no not to my knowledge no there's uh there's the one called um where he's like a cyborg brought soldier brought back from dead from uh from from being dead and uh he escapes his government facility and uh pals around this lady and then they send dolph lundgren after him but that's different kind of scenario there is a jean-dame van movie where i can't get his name ame where they hunt people and it is called hard target

what boom faced I don't remember that I haven't seen that either so I also didn't know is he is john claude van damme fleeing or is he a hunter says he's saving a gang from

away from a gang in new orleans and hard targets let me see maybe i'm reading it wrong i could be wrong let's look there's no cannibalism in it the homeless veteran douglas binder is the target of the hunt he's given a belt containing ten thousand dollars that he must reach the other side of town to win his money and his life pursuing him is the hunt organizer, Emil Falchion, and his lieutenant, Peek Van Cleef. Let's see. While searching for her father, his

estranged daughter is attacked by a group of muggers who saw that she had a lot of cash earlier. She's saved by a homeless man with exceptional martial arts skills. And a former force recon marine. So so yeah it's a hard target i think they're thank god she came across neck and i would have been a short movie right good thing she stumbled on the only hobo martial arts expert in the world

force recon marine is i don't even know it is a real thing yeah i wouldn't want to well you know i'd rather hunt people than be hunted by people i would love to hunt people that'd be pretty cool what would you do with them when you got them kill them well but i mean like with the bodies yeah i mean respectfully taxidermy put the head on the wall duh yeah i think you'd want to taxidermy. Put the head on the wall. Duh. Yeah, I think he'd want to taxidermy them up. Like, full body mount, and then you could dress them up. Oh, okay. All right, you got costumes in the mix again.

Costumes are the next doll. And I'd want, like, a whole, like, menagerie. So I'd have, like, you know, a Native American, and I'd dress him up in up and like full headdress and everything and like an asian guy and i do that that really awful woody allen treatment to him and uh with the teeth and everything and the the pointy rice farmer hat the big thick glasses even though he didn't need them just every just every race like that my big question is a fellowship killer he killed a dwarf three smaller dwarves an old bearded man

and a feminine younger man older man and an elven looking gentleman and it's it's like you know it's always been more about the costumes for me it's just you know the murder was just to keep it real yeah okay so you would you dress him up yeah i'd create a menagerie like a like a wax museum but real if you had a corpse sex doll how long would you have to microwave her to make bring her to like a realistic temperature what kind of microwave we talking here how many watts i don't know i don't know really familiar with microwaves large enough to do people. They had those big walk-in microwaves. One of those. How much do those cost? Christ,

how much are we in for with this? Cheaper than a baby, you moron! Wrap it up! Now we need a warehouse? We need a kick-ass style thing. Yeah. And you're not gonna

college costs no i'm it's i'm gonna have a trade school kid you know what 2040 college is gonna cost it's probably gonna be pretty terrible it's gonna be she'll have to go to space school uh no you have you have high hopes for my future maybe that's the bottom rung of 2040 go to space school. You have high hopes for my future. Maybe that's the bottom rung of 2040 Society of Space School. They're the janitors of today. Things really get changing soon. Yeah.

Immediately. Space people are the shit. Yeah. It's going to be an asteroid miner or something like that. That'll be the bottom rung in 2040. We'll be flying around. Race relations will be solved and all the police will be that. That'll be the bottom rung in 2040. We'll be flying around. Race relations will be solved, and all the police will be robots. It'll be great.

Yeah, everything will be totally fixed. We're on an upward swing. I've seen a movie about police robots, and it didn't turn out well. Terminator? Not for the criminals. I was talking about RoboCop and me. Oh, that worked out wonderfully. He was excellent.

First of all, he's a cyborg, not a robot. Okay. One, there were some robot cops, and they didn't turn out well they were the bad guys that robocop had to kill that was also a well that was the second movie i guess crime was down you're too shy i guess no it wasn't well It was a wasteland. If you don't count... Okay. All right. Crime was... It probably stagnated.

Yeah. If you don't count the crime committed by the robot police, crime was down. How interesting would it be? Like, no one could complain about racism anymore if a robot cop shot someone? Oh, there'd be something else. I don't know. As a former StarCorp developer, I promise you...

It's programmed by a racist. Our entire industry is incompetent. None of us know what to do. They're only protecting the Quickie Marts. What's up with this? Who's programming these things? Yeah. You are invading our space. We must ask you...

Just watch. The fucking robot cop sounded like that. I'd be down for robot cops. That'd be fucking cool. I'm thinking about it. There's little fucking dogs freaking the fuck out in there. They saw a shadow or something. He thinks those things are annoying

and he's wanting to create a child. He's playing Russian roulette with his cock. But I mean, a lot of people enjoy this life, Kyle. No, they don't. They pretend they do.

You can't, you have to pretend you have to, you can't be like, how many, how many people have you ever heard say, what do you can't you have to pretend you have to you can't be like how many how many people have you ever heard say what do you should i have kids what do you think about yours i fucking hate them fucking hate my kids the other day i just left them in the car seat hour and a half in the hot sun they're resilient you never hear that you never think there's a like a biological chemical reaction to your kid i remember my kids having accomplishments that every other fucking kid has had like sing the alphabet and i'm just amazed and so happy and proud intellectually i know this is a common achievement but as a parent i was just super psyched and happy

and uh yeah i think he'll be a good dad. I think. Yeah, I think all sorts of things are funny when I'm high. There's a reason I haven't watched Trailer Park Boys in about two years. I needed a moment to process. I can't watch that shit. Fucking sober. That's not as fun. If I'm not smoking every time Ricky smokes,

then I'm not having a good time. That's the proper way to watch the show. I imagine. Nah, Taylor will be fine. I wonder, I wonder when he's going to get married. I feel like it's on the edge,

right? God, I hope not. I hope he does whatever is great for him. Me too. That's why I feel this way. This isn't selfish. This is as selfless as it gets.

This is good advice you're giving out, I hear. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he'll be good. We just got to peer pressure him into getting a motorcycle. I really would like to do that thing. That would be kind of fun. I don't know if I'd want to go on some cross-country nonsense now. I would want to start out small.

Maybe like, you know, I don't know. If we all went and did a thing in Colorado or something like that, it'd be cool to go on a three-hour ride somewhere in back or something. Or honestly, man, it'd be crazy if we rode all the way to colorado from here yeah that's the kind of thing that i have in mind too i think that'd be neat and to get the saddlebags pack light work our way to colorado that's actually appealing to me yeah that i pitched that idea i think we were doing like pka road trip ideas maybe three four years ago yeah and uh and that didn't get much traction at the time but maybe we'll do a second second we'll revisit that man i'm gonna go buy

that motorcycle i do like your idea of like wait five days and see if you still want it yeah yeah i think so motorcycle go to a dealership see it in real real life, see how tall it is compared to you. If I go, I'll leave with it. If I go, I know I'll be like, yeah, can I get this for $4,000? Absolutely, we'll wrap it up. Do you want the flashy lights on the back? I'm like, yeah, I do want the flashy lights on the back. We'll just sign here.

I didn't bring my checkbook. Just finance the whole thing. You can pay it off. All right, if you just need a signature, I have that. And then I would have a motorcycle and no way to get it home because I'd be in my fucking car. Maybe go firm on the take a course idea first. How far away is that? Do you know like a date?

I'm trying to say. I don't know. I just looked it up like near me. It's not far from my house like where to do the course at like that's not too far like it's you know 30 minutes or 45 minutes or something like that that wouldn't be a problem at all i should just go do that i should just go do that um because they're gonna let me ride their bike anyway i think i just need a helmet um so i think that'll tell me whether i like riding or not is just riding their bike around their parking lot or course or whatever the fuck they do.

And, uh, and then I'm just going to go buy that fucking motorcycle. Woody and I were just talking about driving all the way to Colorado from on motorcycles. No, no. I mean,

I mean, it's three hours. What are you complaining about? Well, I'll pick you up midway. You sit bitch on the back. I, I,

by the way, we'll continue to call it that. I'd love to see you ride bitch. That would be funny. He just has a Hulk on the back of his head.

Taylor starts freaking out and trying to stop moving around back there. Dude, it's like 12 hours from St. Louis to Colorado. It's like three days from Atlanta to Colorado on a motorcycle.

That's true, especially if you're coming through St. Louis for me to ride bitch. I'm not. I'm not. You don't want to reach the streets of East St. Louis? Go around. It's quite out of the way.

Maybe it's not. Akon said in an interview that East St. Louis was worse than anywhere he's ever been in Africa. He's like, it's just so scary and awful. It's a 22- hour drive from me to uh to like the center of colorado so like did you just go you actually well

i'll do denver to denver drive yeah 12 hours and minutes. But it's pretty much just a straight shot west from St. Louis. 20 hours for me. 20 hours and 30 minutes. As I'm looking at it. I go right through Missouri. Yeah, I was going to say the same thing I'm sharing now, Chad. All right, Woody, I'll meet you in

western Kentucky. Like Nashville-ish? Could do that. I'll meet you at Pop's Strip Club on the east side. Of Denver. I'll meet you in Denver. My flight will be landing.

And my rental car will be waiting. Brand new bike. Southwest. I'll be taking there. i hadn't even yeah colorado would be a destination so we do like three days to denver a week in colorado and three days back ish would be roughly the the vacation i'm fucking staying i'm not coming we need to work this around so it's just the one you know I can drive to Newhall pack all his belongings in his saddlebag

you're gonna have a hard like it's time to leave let's see it's gonna take me three days to get home or I could just extend this for another week I think I'll be extending piecemeal piecemeal mail all my belongings to myself in Colorado,

like one box at a time. No, I don't know. I'll probably go do that driving test this week or next week, sometime soon. I want that motorcycle. The more I talk about it, the more I want that motorcycle. I shouldn't have brought this up. Now I've got gotta get a motorcycle

license come on we're gonna be we're gonna be like road hogs what was that what was that awful movie we're gonna be wild hogs wild hogs yeah come on okay well if we get to dress up as the wild hogs i'll dress up however you want if you if you if you throw in with us i get to be adam sandler he's not even in that movie. Yeah, he is. No, wait. He's in like Shitty Dad or something. Yeah, it's John Travolta in that movie. You can be John Travolta. I just don't want to be

Kevin James. Yeah, if we go, you have to be Kevin James. Kevin James. Kevin James. you have to be Kevin James. Kevin James? He has to be Kevin James. I don't want to be Kevin James. He's fat. Nobody does.

We all have to dress as the Wild Hogs. But wait, Kevin James isn't in it. It's William Macy, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and Tim Allen. I'll be William H. Macy, then. What's more of a William H. Macy? He Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and Tim Allen. What's the movie where he's a fat bicycle guy? Okay, I'll be Tim Allen. Why do you get to be

Tim Allen? Alright, I'll be Martin Lawrence. I'll be John Travolta. Yeah, that's a better fit. I don't want to be William H. Macy. What, I'm stuck with William H. Macy? Isn't he the one you picked? I picked him for you. Thank you.

Thank you. I accept. Is there a movie where Kevin James is fat? A movie where Kevin James is fat? All of the MMA one. Here comes the boom. Oh. That's the one where he's not that fat. That's the one where he looks pretty strong. Yeah. He's an MMA fighter in that. Joe where he's not that fat it's the one where he looks looks pretty strong

yeah yeah he's an mma fighter that joe rogan's in that movie joe rogan said that um kevin james is pretty legit like like he built some fighting skills he doesn't look like super fit but he looks strong yeah he, he does look strong. It's not the worst, either. It's not how I picture Kevin James. Kevin James on a motorcycle? What the fuck movie am I thinking of? I don't know. I don't know what you're thinking of.

Alright, maybe I made that up. You're not thinking of the Segway Mall Cop, are you? No, no. Maybe I'm thinking of one Kingway mall cop are you no no i maybe i'm like thinking of one king of queens episode from 20 years ago um actually i think that you might be because when i maybe when i googled kevin james on a motorcycle i get like king of queens stuff dude if you ever want to see the most erratic real-time weight fluctuation and actors watch king of queens because i remember you would like the only time i would ever see that show is if it was like randomly on tv and you know where

we disjointed episodes where it's like two back to back and like both kevin james and his wife go from like his wife goes from like normal weight to really fucking fat and then i think she goes back again and it's like there's a huge amount of weight fluctuation in king of queens it wasn't a very good show i don't remember her i remember the story being that it was a total mismatch in looks that she was pretty hot and kevin james is not i don't remember her getting fat here's what i do remember which was 80 pounds yeah goodness um i don't know her name but the wife and everybody loves raymond when that show first started she was fat and she may have just had a baby but i'm not sure about that part and then forever people saw her through that lens and it never changed and she's like have you done take another look would you i lost 45 pounds and but everyone sort of saw her as portly and she really wasn't that sucked

yeah i never thought of her as fat i didn't watch very much of everybody loves raymond it it was you know the only character i liked and that would come on was the dad or the grandpa whoever it is is, Ray's dad. He was funny. Other than him, though, you know, you can only watch that lady be like, oh, you have to eat something so many times for you're like, all right, just. And then Raymond's like just retarded brother. He was annoying. Not a good show.

Not a great show. She's not fat in the pilot. I don't know what I was talking about, but I heard her talking about that same effect in an interview. So I don't know where I got that. Anyway, she was fat at one point, I think, and everyone saw her that way. She fought through. Yeah. Fought through adversity

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Get yourself some good breath. Don't be walking around feeling nasty. Look at that bad boy. What is this? That 2020 slingshot. Ooh, at Big St. Charles Motorsports. I'm trying to make this actually happen. So... Chat, you can rent this near St. Louis

and it requires an actual driver's license. And it's kind of motorcycly. He'd be fine. It's a little expensive. If we did that... What is it, $ 150 a day oh whoa oh wait not that bad it am i seeing no i don't understand this pricing it's 200 for four hours but 250 for two days yeah this is 149

for four hours 200 for two plus days. What does that mean? Do I decide how many is added to two? Comes with a helmet. Perfect. Yeah, I mean, I'd rather drive one of these fucking goofy things and not have to get a motorcycle license. You guys own motorcycles. I don't want to. It's pretty bad-ass.

We're trying to get you to buy a motorcycle. I't want them i'm not buying a motorcycle dude buy a motorcycle i'm not gonna buy a motorcycle i won't tell your mom i don't want a motorcycle yes you do all guys do i don't it never wanted one real man like motorcycles oh your arms will look so good if you get one with it's got the big like the big like uh uh handlebars out real wide so you lay them out like roll your shoulders forward you look fucking yoked oh oh my god everyone on the highway will be looking at your arms she got the ape hangers go wow look at that idiot not even in a car yeah i mean these ones have four wait no these have three wheels perfect yeah Look at that idiot. Not even in a car. These ones have four.

Wait, no. These have three wheels. Perfect. Yeah. You don't need a motorcycle license to drive this either. This is just like a car license. This does look really tight. Would I steer you wrong? I'm just saying I thought for the longest time, even seeing these on the road, I've never thought I want one, but I thought that looks pretty sick.

Taylor, I bet that this is at least as safe as a motorcycle, too. It can't be more dangerous. It can't be more dangerous. It literally can't. It would be a 50-50 shot between it's like, all right, motorcycle with us to Alaska or tap dance on Highway 70 for five minutes. I would do the highway tap dance. Dude, motorcycle to Alaska

seems really cool. Yeah, you guys have fun. What's the weed situation in Alaska? Oh, the weed situation is good. No, I think it's actually bad there, right? I don't know. No, Alaska seems like one of those chill places. Alaska seems chill, but it's

run by Republicans, and they never seem to be the ones leading the way on pot. But they're like Alaska Republicans. Touche. Oh, 21 and over use. Wait. No, we're good. You can have an ounce in Alaska.

You can... No, no, it's legal there. Nice. Alright, but you know what's closer than that? It's Colorado. And you still got mountains. Dude, Alaska? You know how far that is?

Yeah. It's almost to Russia. I don't... You want to motorcycle almost to Russia? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we just have to wait and show up on the coldest day right across the ice sheet. Put on a boat. We'll go across the Bering Strait, maybe.

I don't fuck if I know. What is that called? I don't think it's called. Yeah, Bering Strait, I think. I think you got it. For real. No joke. Sometimes you try to walk me down the wrong way.

I do sometimes. This isn't one of them. Okay. I don't know my streets. And then we could ride the motorcycle across Russia and Mongolia and into the UK. Oh, we're going to Mongolia, Taylor. Come on. All right.

I'm down for Mongolia. There we go. Can we somehow get to Japan? It's an island. You know that. No, no. But Japan seems like one of those countries got fuck all tons of tunnels you know i don't know that you're right but it does

seem like you'd be right about that right we're not going to japan why i'm not allowed there i don't think they allow felons there oh what about china i'm not going to China at all. There is a tunnel from South Korea to Japan. South Korea might be neat. Extremely strict marijuana laws. But think about how tall we'll feel. Very tight. Now I know what to look for in a Kyle vacation spot. I'll be feeling better in Mexico.

Jim? I said now I know what to look for in a kyle vacation spot i picked up on the uh the pattern it's it's subtle but i'm on now um colorado i feel like colorado is a nice like intermediate distance you know a couple days let's learn to walk before we run you could literally knock it out in two days i don't know the pot situation in mongolia but i imagine it's lenient i that would surprise me what really no i genuinely think they're like oh no dude what do you mean pot heroin ayahuasca like there's no rules here and i don't know mongolian marijuana laws. I'm pretty sure only a few million people live in

Mongolia. They don't even have roads in most of it. Very illegal. Oh, my mistake. Well, at least I see those words. What will happen if I get caught smoking marijuana in Mongolia? Cannabis is illegal in Mongolia, but it grows naturally almost everywhere in the country, so no

one really cares.'s i'm reading a quote this is a quora it's easy to bribe the cops if you're caught smoking or in possession it's usually a maximum of 20 000 tug rooks which is 20 dollars anyway cannabis is not very popular in the country so most people don't even know what it is dude i'm flush with tug rucks dude i got a couple million tug rucks laying around somewhere the conversion ratio was a thousand to one dollars it's did you i think we're on the same website webehigh.org i was on quora oh really webehigh.org how'd they get it that's my home page it literally has the same uh text that kyle was reading that's funny yeah um yeah we'll see how this thing plays out uh i'm not even 100 settled on that motorcycle i want to look at all the motorcycles that are in the same class but i

really that that's the one that that i like the most uh so far that i've even seen you should cruise to craigslist and see what's there. And I know I keep beating the same drum, but ABS is a must-have. I agree. I agree. I think I want to finance it, honestly, so that I do have an adult reason for getting a motorcycle that it's helping with credit.

Do you want to know how much my insurance is? You can finance a trampoline or something. How much is your insurance? Yeah. $11 a month. All right, then. Yeah. Of course, my car insurance is like nothing.

For like three cars, it's like $100 a month or something like that. I haven't had any speeding tickets or any sort of infraction in years and years. Yep. And I've never been in a car accident yet give it time i've been in i don't know i haven't been in a motorcycle accident i've been in enough car accidents to lose count you usually only have to get into the one motorcycle accident there's not a lot of multi-motorcycle accident people. That's true. It's like driving. Disagree. I should honestly talk to Gun Surgeon. Does he still have his motorcycle?

I imagine it's damaged. Good point. Good point. Yeah. We'll see. I'm more into the idea now than I was before we started the show. I was just kind of like, yeah, I might get a motorcycle. But now I'm like, yeah, let's get a motorcycle and go across the country.

I just have to wait for those damn feds to give me permission. Oh, yeah. I know you say soon. You don't have an actual update, though. You just know the date. I don't have any update, but I know when my time's up. When I'm able to file the petition. Yeah, so that's soon. You're not saying a date.

Are you looking to keep that quiet? Yeah, there's no reason to. It's soon. It's a month or so. Okay. All right. Talking about Mongolia. This country starts with the same letter

which makes it a nice seamless transition this guy lost his phone until monkey self uploaded to the cloud I guess and so there's a video of a monkey trying to eat his phone I liked it it's only 50 seconds

oh there's a video I'm down okay oh I'm sorry I started let's start over are video. I'm down. Oh, I'm sorry. I started. Let's start over. Are you ready? I'm at zero. Ready, set, play. Oh, no. Oh, my God. It's in his mouth. Is it? it's licking it and trying to eat it

got a very clean mouth he said he thought the phone had been stolen while he was sleeping that still might be true he was right yeah wow that is a scary mouth true. He was right, yeah. Wow, that is a scary mouth. I bet he didn't get his phone back. I wouldn't think so. He probably didn't. Well, that's not as smart as what I would hope a monkey would do with a phone, but I don't know what a monkey could do.

Oh, no, he found it. He found it a day after retrieving it in the jungle behind his house. See, I didn't scroll past the video. The man has monkeys in his backyard apparently. He lives in Malaysia. There's a lot of monkeys there. They hang out at temples and shit and they'll steal your crisps like Carl Pilkington

found out. Nick your crisps. We visited the monkeys in where's gibraltar the straight of gibraltar where do you remember that morocco maybe anyway the monkey straight i've been on a straight roll i can talk about inlets and all sorts of things and all sorts of things. Anyway, the monkeys kept pulling the girl's shirts down. They're rude. Yeah, monkeys are assholes, but they're pretty cool.

So they get a pass. I am glad that we don't live in a country with tons of monkeys running around like Thailand or Malaysia. Because that seems like... If squirrels had 10 times as functional hands and they were way smarter, think of how annoying that would be. Think of how much you'd have to be on guard. Like having to make sure your keys don't get stolen, your wallet doesn't get taken.

They'd probably swing down, like grab your fruit off your breakfast tray. All sorts of stuff. I wouldn't want to hang out with monkeys like that. I'm surprised. I always thought you'd buy a monkey. It's just, there's so much red tape in owning a monkey.

And even if you get the monkey, now you have to take care of a monkey. It would be more tiring to take care of a monkey than a kid. I would imagine. Because right away, that monkey... What's monkey life expectancy of a fucking monkey taylor

you know what you can do with a monkey that you can't do with a child murder kill it yeah you know what happens if you strangle your monkey and a rage one night the monkey kills you back right children are much easier to kill kyle i feel like you're overlooking yeah that's true it's so easy to kill a child yeah just trip them just leave it in the car and pretend it's an accident bathtub are you sure that's my kid darn it to heck. Yeah. Think about it, Kyle.

You got even a little capuchin monkey. No kid could like really propel their shit out of their hand while swinging from your ceiling fan out of your reach or something. Or knock out a window by throwing a heathen piece of plastic. Monkeys,

that would cause a lot of problems. The thing about children is they need to be watched around the clock for like five years, right? Even then, you're just sending them to school for someone else to watch them. It's like eight years before you can take your eyes off them, nearly. What about monkeys? Can you not just put them in the cage and come back?

Maybe. I want a cage-free monkey. Because they're smart enough to be... They taste better. Yeah, yeah. You don't want those tendril monkey arms. You want them to be a little gummier. Monkey probably tastes like shit.

There's too much muscle, not enough fat. Orangutan might taste good, of the monkeys. They have pretty girthy behinds probably get some orangutan fat chop that off render it render it wait yeah i'm not sure what that means outside the context of video production uh when you melt fat it's a that's you render it okay yeah see i really did it i don't know what I started again. Guess who's going to be ready for the next straight drop?

Straight around the world. It turned out the Strait of Gibraltar was in Morocco. I had it right. Oh, nice. But those monkeys are assholes. I mean, my favorite strait is the Strait of Hormuz. Where's that, Taylor? Help me out.

Which is, of course, between the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman, which is clearly. Wait, is that the narrow one that like all of the world's oil travels through? Like Nero? It is. I think it is. Yeah. No, damn it. You're right. It's strategically.

It's militarily strategically important. I added a word. That's not even my favorite one. My favorite one my favorite one okay is the pulk straight no the straight of mcmillan that sounds cool where's that one that one is of course i have a southern chile i have to read it i don't know where it is i mean obviously south america to the north and tierraierra del Fuego to the south. Tierra del Fuego, a well-known area south of South America. Not that well-known.

It's so far south, it's almost north. Fun fact. Wait, I don't think that's a thing. I don't think so. No, you're right. Have you won Fall Guys a second time yet? No, no. Just once.

Just once, just the once. All the once and i played all tied up with colin all tied up with colin but to my credit i've got about five times as much experience in game i don't think that's how you know that works i watched taylor play and to hear him like goof about his gaming skills on pka i thought that he would be bad but he's not fall guys just has a big luck factor in there it is a lot of luck how many games do you play taylor hundreds hundreds how many players are in each game 60 60 players would you explain to me how this luck works again what happens is uh when you're running in a crowd like people just sort of bump you from the side and now you're tripped and you're falling over and you can't get up until

the whole herd goes by and it's like it's only non-luck based if you're out in front by yourself but statistically you should be out in front by yourself at least one out of 60 times. And I do often, but I just can't finish it in round six. Sounds like a skill thing. Well, I've said I'm not good. I'm not arguing with you. Yeah. I hear you. Oh, he's my champion.

But, like, so if you ever watch Fall Guys, it's very obvious what you want the player to do like oh yeah oh he may not know that taylor you're gonna know this there's a map where you go sort of around the switchback but there's also a little jump up where you can avoid like 12 seconds of walking yeah yeah and there's like a fan that can knock you off of that while you're trying to get through we might be thinking of a different spot but in any case i was watching you do this and he did a little jump up like a knowledgeable player would and i'm like yeah taylor's doing it like he's he's he's not taking the long way etc uh he'll sit there there's these little things that push you off the path right little? Little pushers that go back and forth. He doesn't walk into the pusher's path like a noob. But what can happen is some other dude pushes him into it.

And that's what Fall Guys is like. And it doesn't have to be a malicious push. It can just be a little tick, just a little bump, and that's enough to fuck you. So there is a lot of luck. Download the game and get a win or two. I won two. You see how hard it is. Yeah, Kyle's won twice. I two. I won two. You see how hard it is. I did. I won twice.

No, you didn't. Yeah. I texted you that night. You would have bragged about it a lot more. You never replied. I thought I'd hurt your feelings. You did not text me that you won twice in Fall Guys. Scroll back up. You did not play Fall Guys.

I did. I won twice. Woody was like, Colin just won his first game. I was like, that's awesome. I won two last night. And then you didn't say anything. So I was like, oh, man, maybe we shouldn't have said that with Taylor in here. Dude, this is just five months of sexting. What are you talking about?

I was like, I think we hurt Taylor's feelings. We should have said that. Dude, you know, I got a lot of self-esteem tied up in my gaming prowess. I know. I know. I know that. And so, you know, we do most of our Fall Guys talk privately now. I like that I texted you pictures of my dumbbells to flex on you.

You still carry a lot of ordered hitting. Well, I didn't see it. Oh, you didn't see it? you didn't see it no wonder he missed the fall guys post but um uh yeah i flexed on you i just sent my i was i was working out and i just sent you my dumbbells because i know you don't have any i'll send you think of how much money that muscle mass has wasted at this point right one your metabolism must be considerably higher right with all that high enough that's got to cost money uh two when you buy dumbbells you can't stop at 55 like a reasonable person would you need to buy it at like 85 or something yeah i'd like higher than that even just just to have them yeah and i'll need them you're fucked just wasting money hand over fist

with those muscles well you can avoid like the fives and the tens, though, at least. I wonder. Athlean-X would put good use on those fives and tens. His fives and tens probably weigh one and two. Dude, you've got me hooked on Greg Doucette. Help me get his name right. Greg Doucette. Doucette.

That guy's fucking hilarious first of all he insults all of his viewers right he's like you oh by the way he sounds like gilbert godfrey if you've got if the people watching have never seen greg ducette everything he's like i am a mesomorph i am i put on muscle very easily i got like one percent endomorph and 1% ectomorph, so I don't put on fat. You guys think this is debunked, but I went to school and I'm an expert. I'm a kinesiologist. Does he sound like that? Yeah, he sounds secret.

That's a really good impression, honestly. This is Woody's best impression. He just nailed Greg Doucette. That's all. Welcome to the new character, Greg Doucette. His body is his resume. He's really fit.

Is it a tank top? A sleeveless shirt? I don't know but it's like one of those tank tops that's just barely there as well spaghetti straps almost or something yeah yeah he's uh you know he was a pro bodybuilder he's like he's 40 plus years old now um but he's still like below 10 body fat probably six seven percent body fat something like that all the fucking time um he's just ridiculous looking he bikes uh a ton so it's one of his big hobbies that's how he gets his cardio

oh yeah yeah his channel is um about steroids a lot about it's very similar to more plates more dates in some ways and that he does a lot of steroid talk and a lot of natty or not uh talk and that sort of thing is that whole like ectomorph mesomorph endomorph is that like bro science i don't think it's bro science i think it's legitimate i i was asking i don't know i'm out of my depth it's my understanding that like it used to be considered science and it's been debunked and now it's somewhere in between you know like they're differing opinions i think obviously people have different body types i think it's true like i just it's my observation that some people just have like a what i'll call you know there's a resting

pulse a resting body fat here or there and they can fight to get above it or below it but they kind of have a resting body fat and i don't think it's just diet based i think some guys just that's their normal spot and and some guys have muscle even if they don't work out like i bet if taylor didn't lift weights he'd be bigger than i am currently lifting um because he's just that's his like resting musculature and uh and then of course you know other guys who are even thinner than me. And how can that not be true? It's just true. We've seen it with our eyes everywhere.

Yeah, there's string bean people, and there's people who are just – people are just built differently, just completely differently. Yeah. Yeah. I think I probably do have an easier time putting on muscle than the average person but I also don't have a lot of problem at all packing on fat like just throwing

that's all just eating that's all just me eating too much but I don't know though I don't know maybe you're right maybe there is something a little more to it I always thought it was like a bro science thing but maybe I should do more than zero research. No, that would break the show tradition.

You're right. I'm not doing it. I'm not studying for a motorcycle test. I'm not doing this. I did finish that test and I passed it, but I think if I missed one more question, I'd have failed. Hey, you got it. It's all that matters. I'm on a new audiobook, and if anybody's

interested in getting into an audiobook, and you have Audible, this one's free on Audible. It's called Helldivers. It's like 300, 400 years in the future something like that and uh humanity has had this big nuclear war and the uh so the earth is like this desolate frozen radioactive wasteland that and the uh the whole world is covered in these thick storm clouds and the last bastion of humanity exists in these airships that, uh, in the air all the time. And,

um, they, the airships were actually the military devices that were used to, uh, to bomb the world, to, to, to,

to drop the nukes, uh, because they, uh, they weren't susceptible to like the electromagnetic pulse weapons that apparently were, uh, were the, the meta, uh, were the,

the meta, um, by the end of the 21st century. And they, so they have these huge helium reservoirs and these big turbine fans and they run on nuclear power, but, and they've been up there floating for like 250,

300 years or something. All of humanity has been aboard them. And there's only like 600 people on each ship and there's only two ships left there's only 1200 humans left and uh the way they get spare parts and uh for their ship and uh you know anything any sort of like goods is they send these guys called hell divers down to the surface they're they're in like these protective suits uh they're protecting for radiation they've got like heads up display and they've got weaponry. And they dive down through the cloud cover, through the storms, down to the earth. And they scavenge for parts and goods and all sorts of things and bring them back

up. And the main character of the book is this guy named Xavier. And so these hell divers have an average life expectancy of 15 jumps. Usually you die before you get to 16 jumps. The average is 15 because you're dropping through these crazy storm clouds so people just get hit by lightning left and right. It's wildly dangerous

down on the surface because of the temperature and the radiation and the conditions. You might get caught in a rock slide or a building might fucking fall on you but there's also a reason of it or they just like volunteers like it's your turn to scavenge they've um both they've have they have volunteered to be hell divers and then they've gone through a lot of training and uh and so the the main character he's on his when the book begins he, he's starting his 96th jump.

He is the most experienced jumper in the world, essentially, because there's so few people left. But he's just a super hardcore badass. He's got PTSD and he's in his early 40s, but he feels like he's in his 60s and he's just having a hard time. And he's, you know, his wife has died of cancer like like he's an alcoholic it's rough and they still have alcohol up there for him to be an alcoholic they're drinking and uh and there are mutants down on the planet surface and traditionally the mutants they would see would be like kind of weird, but not all that dangerous stuff.

They would see some like big crocodile monster or some weird bird or, uh, or, or something that couldn't even hurt them. But now they're seeing these, uh, like humanoid like monsters that run on four legs that have like dorsal spikes and their face is just all smooth and they're using

echolocation or something like that to detect people and it's a good fucking book it's uh i don't know i'm almost through the first one is it's really detailed fighting it's no not over detailed at all if anything it suffers from being really straightforward uh there's not a lot of like character backstory i can't remember the book that I was reading last, but it was, oh, I know with Salem's Lot and Stephen King, each chapter would begin with like the biography of a new character. You'd spend like two hours learning about this new character just so that you could have them included with your old characters and know who they were and what they were about.

With this, it's just like, and then he met Bob. Bob was an old guy, and he was mad. Okay, well, old guy who's mad. Got it. That's all you get. You don't get a ton of backstory with these people. It's not too in-depth, but it's good. I'm liking it.

I like the idea of what they do and how they're doing it and the uh you know they're there's it's kind of like fallout to some extent they're scavenging through the wreckage of the old world looking for nuclear fuel cells and pressure valves and bullshit it's pretty good that sounds cool, I wrote it down. Maybe I'll enjoy it. My book's coming around for me. It's called, I think, Immortal Enemy or something. I have to look it up again. But dude is immortal. Devil forces him to take on this task.

Or not devil, death. And he picks up this chick. She has a shotgun. And they're saving the villagers in an apocalyptic world. And I'm kind of enjoying it. Enemy immortal. Enemy immortal. All right.

Thank you. How'd you know? I did a little Googling. That was quick. I won't go deep into it. Oh, never mind. This is a different book. This is about, this is the year 2206.

And a ship from a federation of alien planets called the entanglement is orbiting earth with a gateway to the stars a fleet of sadistic immortal cyborgs will arrive to invade earth in six months and humanity must join the entanglements rigid caste system or face slavery to the immortals that sounds interesting but it's called enemy immortal and it has nothing to do with your book shit i wish there was a quicker way oh wait i can look at it on my phone yeah all right we'll figure this out in less than 15 seconds i've been trying to do a book a week i uh i go through them pretty quick i like audible it's called mortal enemy yeah all fiction is there anything like no i guess doing a non-fiction audiobook.

That's... Could be good. I don't even know what I would want to... Maybe a biography? You know what I want? I think it might be non-fiction. But Harley pitched Sapien and that seemed really cool. Yeah, that does sound...

Humans and how we got here and all the other species interbred. like that kind of, yeah, it does. That sounded like non, that sounded like fiction to me. I'm sure some of it's stretched,

but it's still going to be interesting. I would guess. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I prefer fiction, but it sounded like fiction. Is it?

I like, I like fantastical stuff. I like horror and adventure and sci-fi. I usually listen to that stuff. I'm in like a total horror movie drought right now there's fucking nothing else for free not for free on netflix and all those services i have i'm thinking about canceling netflix there's fucking nothing on there anymore like everything that is hulu and amazon and hbo plus are so much better as far as their selection at this point like Did you ever watch Netflix?

Did you watch The Taking of Deborah Logan? I haven't watched it. No, no, no. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did watch that one. It was pretty good. It was pretty good. Yeah, I liked that one.

Netflix feels like they had the biggest lead on everyone, and they have been fucked into the ground. I pay for Netflixflix hulu espn plus and disney plus right now which i feel like my cable bill is right back up to where it used to be 20 years ago and um i think of those netflix is my favorite i have all those plus uh i've got hbo and stars and cbs all access do you have hbo max i don't know how to get hbo max i've just got hbo which like all their movies and shows and everything i have that i didn't i have youtube premium that i pay for too yeah i'll do that do that right say it again regular tv through

youtube premium can you or no i don't i'm not sure but i thought youtube read or something i thought they were going to try and compete with there's nothing on the networks i want to see anyway oh and i've got sling tv with like a basic package so that i get cnn and fox news sling that shit sucked years ago i got rid of that but hp all i've been watching on hbo max is impractical jokers they just added five new seasons that show cracks my shit up i i love it is it is the funniest fucking show like it it's just great i know you loves it yeah this is the biggest fans um last time we were in colorado we uh we sat there and smoked and for like two or three days he brought his streaming device

whatever his roku or or whatever and uh and he owned all the seasons or or at least he had whatever they streamed on and he played like eight fucking seasons of that shit non-stop while while while we smoked and it's pretty funny it's pretty funny yeah a little awkward yeah it's really awkward a lot of those times like we're they have to pretend the the guy i don't remember who it was has for his punishment he had to pretend to teach like a painting class for children and the whole thing was like now you have to go to all eight of their canvases they've been working on and paint a red x on all and there's like children like making their thing and he's had to walk over and be like oh they just happen to paint over it in an x yeah they they do some real awkward shit like the one where the guy had the like the fattest guy has to pretend like he's a personal trainer

i'll have to like do fake workouts and things they don't know what they're doing. I think there was one where they're at a grocery store and he has to take things out of someone's cart in front of them. Yeah. Just like take this. Just take it. Oh, yes. A hundred percent. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I'll take that. He's just like taking their food out of their cart and putting it into his and just be like, hmm, okay. Like so many of those things you would think you would just you might get attacked i've seen enough people of walmart that like you step out of line sometimes you get your ass beat in a walmart i'm surprised none of them have gotten their ass beat yet on that show because some of the stuff they've had to do

is stuff that i would be like oh no i'm not risking getting beat up by this group of people. And then they'll just be like, hey, bitch, or whatever they have to say. It's a quality show. Yeah, it's a good show. It's a really cheap idea for a show too. It could have easily been a YouTube series. Is there anything else on TruTV that's keeping that shit afloat though?

They got rid of the cop show, right? Yeah. Is that where it used to be, Tru true tv if they don't have cops to buoy them then it's probably just impractical jokers i don't know anything on that station did you see danny mullen made a porno yes i couldn't find the porno did you find it yeah yeah yeah yeah let me get to us let's watch it i haven't watched it somebody it's literally pornography well i mean on the screen but i'll i'll watch some uh for the first time i'm sure yeah oh i don't know i've never seen it what is this i hate it when they're like pornography is not realistic dude have you seen pornography it's very realistic i had it earlier someone linked it for me but now i'm not able to find the link it's

a it was on porn hub it was like i wish i could remember the title of the title of it oh hang on i think i'm yep i got it it for anyone who's listening who would like to see this porno that danny mullen was somehow associated with. I mean, he's in it in the background just watching. At first, I thought that he was participating. It's called Danny Mullen Presents Bus Boy Buggery. Bus Boy Buggery. Bus Boy Buggery, and I will link it to you guys right now.

It's a first boy buggery and I will link it to you guys right now. Uh, I just like for 30 seconds, I like skipped three minutes ahead at a time and just, it seemed like there was a black girl blowing a black man while Danny just asked her questions. It was like, do you ever see a black guy with a small penis? And she's like,

yeah, sometimes. And he's like, not today though. Right? Nope. This is a big one and then uh and then a white girl blows i couldn't tell if they had switched guys on us or not because again i'm skipping three minutes ahead just to see what the fuck this is but uh then a white

girl's blowing a black eye and he can't get hard and it's super awkward i'm watching it right now this is already really uncomfortable yeah if you if you like scroll through like the last four minutes of the video like there's a guy a guy just trying real hard to get an erection didn't use his blue chew and uh it is humiliating did you happen to see danny mullins youtube video about this no so he there's a youtube video it's actually pretty good content it's maybe 18 20 minutes long and um if i recall the plot is basically they're trying to find a girl who wants to make a porno and they eventually find one who's made a bunch of pornos before i think it was kind of set up but if you're watching this video now the whiter dude with the long hair. I'm not sure what he is. But anyway, that guy takes great pride in his long penis.

It's like part of his sense of identity. And Danny Mullen shows a picture of like, would you call this a big penis? And it's his own. And she's like, yeah, yeah, it's good, it's good. And then he takes what's supposedly this guy's penis. He's like yeah yeah it's good it's good and he then he takes what supposedly this guy's penis he's like would you call this a big penis and the girl's like no no i wouldn't and he's like deflated like it like it's his it's his thing to have a big cock

yeah like like you know the guy who's in this porn here it's this thing um i'm having a hard time judging the size because he does not have an erection but uh uh it turns out he had a micro penis picture and he'll be thought that that was his own and it was pretty funny it was a good this is so bizarre this is just like why did he do this why would he do this i don't know but it's 150 000 views yeah on pornhub like what kind of monetization do this? I don't know, but it has 150,000 views. Yeah, on Pornhub. What kind of monetization do they have? I don't know.

It's for the memes, man. It's for the memes. They have monetization. Yeah, but... I don't know how that would work. It can't be that great. I don't know. I think you need millions and millions of views to even really do anything.

I talked to Selena's boyfriend boyfriend ex-boyfriend and uh he gave me a vibe for it there's there's a business model there is she still doing her thing no uh they broke up and took all the videos down and... That's what they think. Apparently she's a really nice, sweet girl and this is like a little out of character, maybe his idea. And when they broke up, they're gone.

Hmm. Is that not your take, Kyle? I'm just saying I got a big hard drive. All those vids loaded up, ready to go. The drop of a hat for the end times. Yeah,

I know your, your plan for after this, actually your plan for after this is probably to what, what game are you in right now? I played some total war Warhammer today. Yeah, actually it was today. It was very early this morning.

I played four or five games of that. Didn't do very well. So I might go play some more of that. I'm out of practice. Nice. Yeah, I need to find a new game to jump into. But I don't want to buy a new graphics card until this shit comes out.

What is it, November? It came out yesterday or something. Or maybe two days ago. Oh, they're all out. I'll just buy one then. Oh, yeah, they're all out. Do you want the 3080 or 90? I guess I'll just do the 3080.

Okay. Yeah, that's the one that most people are getting, and it was released last night, and they're all sold out. The entire internet's having a hard time finding one. As a matter of fact, there are people who hard scoped midnight, and it went from like notify me notify me notify me straight to out of stock as they were pressing f5 repeatedly they feel like they felt like uh there weren't any in real life anyway is the theory they didn't make enough

this probably happens every single time right that sounds about right kyle would you agree with that yeah it was really hard to get a 28 at. That's why I just had a PC built that had them. I want to say I buy power. I don't have my front plate on my PC right now. It's across the room, but it's got the badge on it. And while I didn't get a 1080 Ti hot off the presses, I do remember the same story happened. Yep.

They weren't in stock. I don't remember if I had a 1080 Ti. I either had a 1080 or a 1080 i don't recall which yeah now i'm not sure anymore either i remember you had 1080 something because uh it was better for vr and you were into that at the time yeah well and it was a huge step up from the 980 that i that i was borrowing at the time the gun surgeon sent me that yeah yeah i was i was having a terrible time finding a 1080 ti and he was like, I got a 980 sitting here. You could just have slash borrow.

Yeah. One of the $50 Patreon hangouts had like a knack for knowing which used ads were good and bad. And he's like, here's a 1080 for more than fair price that passed his scam sensors. He's like, you could buy that. So I just did. And I've been using it since. He was right. Might have been Spider Pig.

Yeah, maybe so. I want to play that Cyberpunk. The next game I'm going to be excited for is that Cyberpunk game though. I want to see what that's about. Is it called Cyberpunk? Yeah, it's like Cyberpunkpunk 2077 i think keanu reeves is in it maybe that rings a bell taylor or not i tried to play outer i tried to play get into outer worlds the other day it's an rpg made by uh obsidian obsidian is the same company who made um fall

at new vegas which i is one of my favorite games ever i couldn't get into it i played for four or five hours and i was just not happy with the the game didn't like it that sucks thirty dollars wasted refund and it's on epic games how long did you play it four or five hours so is cyberpunk out no i didn't think it was out either this ad makes me feel like it is oh no november 19th okay so that's that uh far cry 6 i'm told that series is really good but i never got into it

i bought one of the far cries and literally never played it yeah i don't think it's my style of game it's not what really what i'm into uh i've watched a bit of the gameplay and i just wasn't super into it hmm did i

dream this or did Conor McGregor get in trouble for something again recently? Yes. Allegedly. So, I'm normally not giving Conor the benefit of the doubt. If I see a picture of him with hookers and cocaine on the

coffee table, it's my guess that he's fucking hookers and doing cocaine. Pretty cool. John Mcfee would approve but um in this case i think they're trying him for like sexual assault or something like that and he's being accused of exposing himself to a girl and i i suspect this poor woman is not actually clutching her pearls and shouting oh my stars and garters this is one of those times where i kind of wonder if she's trying to get some free money maybe well he's got plenty of that yeah so she says he showed me his penis and he goes nah and then is that where it's at or did he go yeah i showed her i'll do it again

yeah just dm you he was he married or engaged but he was with d at the time like i think he was on a girlfriend oh i think i think you're maybe out of date on that i think yeah um but anyway yeah and he was with her so like it would seem weird that he would have any serious misbehavior while with his fiance i mean he probably feels on top of the world oh yeah he just got engaged a week ago okay ah and so is this already out of the news? It's like, all right, this isn't worth It kind of went out of the news, but it's not out of the court cycle

yet. So I get, you know, it'll pop back. It's a big fucking diamond. Is it? Oh, I bet. He's got oval. It looks like it's thousands of dollars. Thousands of thousands of dollars yeah hundreds i saw dana say that he had some uh something that maybe to try to get connor to do something next year we'll see uh but connor or not there's a lot of good fights coming

up uh in the next couple weeks i guess you've been following the is it poirier am i pronouncing that right yep versus ferguson drama so so people watching there's a guy poirier ex-intram champion total badass has fought the who's who of everyone on his weight class etc he's going to go up against this guy tony ferguson tony ferguson coming off a loss but also total badass you guys have probably heard heard us talk about his upcoming fights with excitement before. And Poirier is like, yep, I want to get this guy. And then the rumor is he wants half a million dollars. And Dana White is like, that's such an outrageous sum. He doesn't want to fight. And Poirier is like, yes, I do. I definitely want to fight. Half a million dollars, I'll be there.

Dana White's like, there's a lot of ways for people to turn down the fight, and this is true, you know? One way to say I don't want to fight this guy is to say I'll do it for, I'll make up a number, 14 million, and that is a way to say I refuse to fight him without ever having to say I'm scared or what have you. But half a million, that's about what he's worth, right?

He was a champ. This would be a big fight. this would be a main event like this is this is people really want this ferguson is campaigning on poirier's behalf to give the man the money he's asking for and you know of course it's easy to spend someone else's money but the whole mma fan base is like dana pay him pay this guy we all want to see this fight we want it and we'll see how it lands yeah yeah i uh i want to see that fight but um you know we got a fight coming up a couple days there's nothing on uh there's nothing on that card other than the kobe kobe versus um woodley woodley But then after that, I can't wait for Paolo

Costa versus Israel Alassania because I legitimately think Costa's going to fuck him up. If it goes the distance, if it goes the distance, I think Israel... If it goes the distance, I think Israel wins.

For fun, Kyle, I'll take Israel for $5. I'm not very confident. This isn't me talking trash, but I do think he's going to win somehow. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'll definitely take that one. I disagree. We're writing on the wall, you fool.

How do you think his style is going to match up against the other guys against Israel well I think it'll match up very well really do you have your Homer glasses on because from what I'm hearing around town is that he doesn't stand a chance against that left jab getting that distance in there and then

that swooping kick the swooping kick is funny you call yourself a fucking fan that swooping kick is his swooping kick the swooping kick is funny she's youtube it god you call yourself a fucking fan uh new character mad at you guys for not knowing enough about mma guy this is a big link but it's this apollo costa image search the guy this picture doesn't show off how jacked he is. This guy, he is one of the most like rumored to be on steroids. Fighters in the UFC. One of the most clear,

like this can't be natural type dudes. He's so huge. Yeah. He looks like he's on something. Yeah. I really hope he hurts israel like like if he kills him i i wouldn't i wouldn't feel that bad um at all like i i just despise israel so much um and uh i i like the uh paulo costa's been doing sort of this

humiliation campaign leading up to the fight like He made this video of what the fight would be like. And his opponent literally jumps out of the ring and runs from him. And he chases him down and puts him in a headlock and drags him back into the ring and beats him up. Is Adesanya doing that to Costa? Costa is doing it to Adesanya. He's saying that Adesanya is going to run from him. Based on these physiques i'm taking costa the adesanya was

in a fight with yul romero recently it's just like the fight right before this one and uh both yul romero and adesanya are counter punchers and neither one of them wanted to start any action so it was a super duper boring fight i think that yul was even more timid than Adesanya, but if you see the other way, that's not crazy either. So Paul Acosta is really taking it to Israel saying, you're a sissy. I saw your last fight. You were afraid I'm going to get you.

But I don't know why. My answer, the reason I think Israel is going to win is not a good one. It's because Joe Rogan seems to think that his striking is on another level that really hardly exists in mma and i'm like well he'll find some way to just keep touching him until he falls down we'll see i hope paulo hurts him i watched costas uh fight with um with uh romero just uh last night i think and uh he was tired by round three but so that's why i'm saying that if it goes the distance i think maybe out of sonja but i think the cost can get him in three yeah as you know for sure but maybe people listening

don't usually thickly muscled fighters don't have a very good endurance you know if you're if your body is a v8 then you suck a lot of gas you know on the other hand if your body is an inline four then you're fuel efficient so one might expect israel to do better in the later rounds for sure it's there for sure yeah if he gets there i'm hoping paulo just hammer hammers him into the fucking mat i i really want to see that i'm paying for that one um i think i think there's a lot of good fights on that card i think maybe holly holmes on there always like watching her fight so uh so that'll be a good one but that's that's like the 24th that i guess that's next week um there's only one good fight this this weekend like like on the card and it's uh woodley versus kobe colby and i think uh colby takes that one

i agree with you on that one i think every time costa pushes forward he finds a fist in his nose and just doesn't have a answer for it but we'll see he'll bite it he'll bite that fist don't care he's got good teeth he's got great teeth look at it great teeth those chompers uh so we'll see He's got a great teeth. He's got great teeth. Those chompers. So we'll see. Yeah, I'm looking forward. This is going to be a good sports year, despite the COVID thing and all.

I'm so pumped for the fucking Georgia football season. I think maybe we kick off this weekend. I'm not sure. It's some bullshit game. We're probably playing Missouri or somebody. No, we play Alabama to start. Oh, God. I'm going to watch that if I can. Oh, man.

I'll watch that. We're going to get wrecked. Dude, it's the number one team in the country versus not ranked. Yeah. Not unranked. Mizzou. Yeah. That's going to be a whooping. Yeah. Just send us back to the sec so we can dominate big 12 again.

Is it in Missouri? Yeah, it's in Missouri. Oh, nobody expects to win against Alabama. It is. Well, not in Missouri.

No, no. Well, of course not. I think Georgia does. I think that's. Yeah. Yeah. Well, of course not. I'll say Georgia does. I think that's... Yeah, yeah. We expect to win. I know, but they're going to buttfuck you guys again. They have never buttfucked

us. It was an incredibly close game last year. All-time Georgia versus Alabama scores. All-time. We're going back to the fucking... Ah, see it in 1941... I'm joking. It doesn't actually say that.

Right before... In the early days of the Great War. Alright, yeah, the biggest victories was Alabama 36-0, but that was 1923. Yeah, they're wearing fucking leather helmets. Yeah. Overall, Alabama leads 40 wins,

25 losses, 4 ties do these need to sell ties that's because you're going back to the fucking 1700s or something tuckered out and they had to farm that's true but i mean georgia hasn't beaten alabama since 2008 yeah that's true that's true and i knew that stat before I searched for it. Oh, yeah. Dude, it's a good basketball season. I know you guys aren't basketball fans. No, I've been watching a bit of basketball. Yeah, yeah.

It's just on. I saw a good bit of the Clippers game. Oh, yeah. The Nuggets beat them. I'm pulling for the Heat out of the remaining two. The Sixers had a bad year. And worse than that, they look to have a bleak future. And this is a hard time right now. Who are the last two in it?

There's four. On the East, it's the Heat and the Celtics. And on the West, it's the Lakers and the Nuggets. And on the East, the Heat in particular have they're just not known to be deeply talented. Even Jimmy Butler, their star, is often considered maybe like a second-tier star, right? He's not a LeBron or Kawhi or anything. But they're hustling out of their minds

and just getting scrappy wins. And it's the kind of team I like. So I'm just kind of excited. We'll see how they do. I hope they keep winning. They're up to nothing. I'm hoping Tampa closes it out tonight, eliminating the Islanders. I don't even have anything against the Islanders.

And then I want Tampa to sweep the Dallas Stars because I do not want Dallas getting a win the year after we do. That's not fair. We should be able to hold the last central division team to win for a while so i and i just i don't like i don't like the jay i don't like jamie ben i don't like the captain of the stars he's a dick i don't like him he's done some dirty shit and the blues never do dirty shit ever blues are not known for pulling dirty shit and roughing people up that's false the more often a team plays the blues the more taylor hates them double ot game seven and like every like i i like started to believe the blues might have a chance

last year when it started out with like winnipeg and. I'd read Winnipeg threads and be like, just got to stick with the Blues for a while. They always try and grind you down. We got to be tougher. And by game six, they're like, oh, our guys are hurting. Just really going poorly. And then the Stars in the second round,

we saw they did the Jets, but we're too fast. And it was like, by game five, it's like, they're just bullying us and they're pushing us down. And then same thing to the the sharks and then again that was the only they bullied their way into a stanley cup absolutely that's my favorite kind of superstar of your team it's like well there's not really i mean ryan o'reilly i guess teresenko maybe but mostly it's you know also the fact we can play our fourth

line against your best line because they're they know their whole job is just to lay the body on you and make you achy the next day so you don't want to play. Back in the day, it'd be like, you know, how'd the Flyers do last night? Ah, two fights. Won them both. Two fights. The score? Oh, no. We got blown out. Oh, yeah. It was like 7-1. No, we didn't even score.

Yeah. They were so good playing that and then years after, they're're like just keep going time is a flat circle eventually we'll come back around again every other team's getting fast guys just yeah but it was we thought the blue style could win last year and it was it was like watching old old timey hockey in the modern era but they got lost in the first round this year so yeah this year's a bubble year it's a weird thing it is we'll call this a bust of a season and we remain the champs how's your future in the in the blues world uh the blues my top players like 34 and

next year they're gonna be 35 no they're like, I think their average player age is 28, 28 and a half or so, which is getting, you know, a young team would have average of like 26 old team of 30. And so they're right in the mix. It's just, we signed a defenseman Falk, which I thought was a fucking retarded signing at the time before COVID with the anticipation of like, all right, well, the cap goes because they can go up by 4 million or whatever it is.

It'll give us more than enough space when we get rid of our goalie, which we did Jake Allen to sign Petrangelo. Who's our best defenseman. One of the best defensemen in the league in, in the conversation for it. He's fantastic. And if we lose him, our blue line is weak as shit.

And we might not be able to afford him now because then COVID hit and the NHL announced no cap is stagnant. And so our GM was like, well, fuck, we just inked a contract with this other guy. We either have to get rid of multiple people or, you know,

it, so it could be up in the air. If we lose Petrangelo, the blues are going to need quite a few years to rebuild, but they have enough young guys that there'll be fine. So we'll, we'll see. I bet they're middle of the road next year.

If they, if they keep Petrangelo, there'll be very good next year. If they lose Petrangelo, we'll be middle of the pack so after the eagles won the super bowl it just seemed like they were coasting like they thought winning wasn't hard anymore and so they stopped winning and here we are i don't know anything about fucking football i don't know who's gonna be good i all i do is root against the rams uh because stan kronke is an asshole the their owner he moved

him away from here yeah where are they now la oh okay my bad yeah yeah i went back to la but i guess it worked out because everybody here switched to being chiefs fans and then the chiefs won that year so i don't care. I'm not going to get into the NFL ever. If anything, I'll watch some college ball this year. I'll watch Mizzou get slaughtered by Alabama maybe, and then watch us get beat probably by a significantly smaller margin by Georgia later in the season.

All right, don't judge me too harshly on this, viewers. I'm going to ask some basic questions. Keep in mind my straight expertise from earlier what's the deal with kansas city is it two cities one city in two states how does kansas city work exactly and the good part of kansas city is in missouri yeah so it's the same way st louis is so like east st louis is in illinois but all the bulk of st louis st louis county is in missouri there's a small area St. Louis, St. Louis County is in Missouri. There's a small area called Overland Park, which is a really affluent, nice suburb in Kansas.

It's part of Kansas City. All the rest of Kansas City is in Missouri. And so like if someone says they're from Kansas City, 95% chance they're from Missouri. Is it the same city? Yeah, yeah, it's the same city. So like St. Louis and Kansas City are both their own thing. I don't know how the fuck East St. Louis handles their shit. Poorly, actually.

I do know how they handle it. They handle it really bad. But Overland Park's doing fine. But it's all the same city. I can't comprehend a city that's not in one state. Yeah, both of our biggest cities are in two states. But we don't border cool stuff on either side. It's just trash on the east.

There's just one mayor across the two states, and there's just one police department, and it's just a city that is in two different states. Yeah. My understanding is that the St. Louis mayor is also the mayor of East St. Louis. I don't know. Maybe it's a different person. I never go over there.

It's scary. mayor of east st louis i don't know maybe it's a different person i i never go over there it's scary mayor of east st louis let's see oh no it's a different guy wow you're doing a bang up job rob real good first peeps always ask is east st louis really that bad yes but wait so overland park is nice, and that's in St. Louis. No, Overland Park is on the other side of Kansas City in Kansas. Oh. So Overland Park is the separate part of Kansas City, and that's nice. But the separate part of St. Louis is not nice.

The separate part of St. Louis is ass. It's terrible. Unlike the Missouri part of St. Louis, which is lovely. Yeah, you got to get out into the county, and then it's's very nice and there's some areas in the city that are okay but like the whole downtown area i don't want to hang out there anymore like it's just it's just crappy like it's just dirty and dangerous we'll see these things go in trends right like everyone flees the city and then whatever 30 years goes by and they find city to be convenient interesting nightlife fun good stuff too and maybe someday st louis will

be revitalized in your life yeah maybe it'd be interesting to see if detroit goes that route like there's really not much reason to come back to these cities like the industry that used to run cities like st louis detroit it's just gone you know i i've seen articles and stuff that paint detroit is like really on the rise again and the real estate's turning around and into it maybe the tax return people move there and and they're able to find like you know good employees and not have to compete with lots of other businesses but i suspect i was watching detroit propaganda because i don't believe it all the way through. I think they're like, yeah, really? Detroit's turning around.

You should come, too. And I'm not falling for your crap. I think I might have seen that. I didn't, like, back check it for other sources. And all those photos are always taken during the day. It's like, look at how nice it is on just one street during the day. It's like, no, I know that I break into a slight jog when i leave sports games you know like you can get out of there but yeah hopefully it gets safer again but and i don't know it doesn't seem a lot of cities

are going through dangerous influxes right now i know i got new york has some some violent crime yeah minneapolis st louis i don't know, but probably St. Louis, Chicago. So who knows? I wonder if this is going to be like a bump or if we're seeing a rise, like, like you were saying,

like a cyclical, like it's time for the uptick again after the, because New York was horrible in the seventies and then the nineties, like it all, it chilled out a bit, you know? And then now maybe it's back on that curve. I feel like the other nation is kind of going through a little more of an uptick than they used to um

raleigh it's hugely dependent on the area i guess that's everywhere but like you know there are parts of raleigh you could walk around and expect to be just fine and you know women can walk alone and then there are other parts where it's like, you might want a bodyguard. And like some of the areas that I was, that I was saying like, Oh, like a really nice area, like the central West end neighborhood.

Very nice. Lots of fun places to eat, fun places to hang out near the city. I would have used that as an example, but yeah, that's still a really nice fucking area. That is exactly, I know the exact road right off Lindell where those McCloskey people, uh, that that gate got broken down they were standing and i was like ar-15 yeah maybe it's getting a little more real

over there now but but then again even most of central west end there's delmar street right above that and rule of thumb you don't want to well they were there to uh fuss at the mayor right so i don't know that that might is a regular occurrence yeah yeah it doesn't seem to be a regular thing at least not yet but it was surprising to be like oh fuck i know i know where that is yeah vodka bar right there been there drunken fish oh yeah but uh it was fun it's same same way in 2014 when i lived in idaho and all that stuff in ferguson kicked off i was like ah i know where that is okay like probably doesn't get as much activity as some of the bigger cities but like what was it like three or four months ago when it seemed like every city was going wild um they went to the

triangle mall in here now that doesn't mean much to most most of you but i was like wait wait a minute that's not even in the city like it's in the city but it's not down it's not where all the people you fuckers drove 15 minutes to loot the mall like how many how many people got in their cars and we're like let's let's go let's go rob the mall yeah it's like i would just i would love to see all of them all the looters burst in there to rob the mall and it's just an empty food court no stores all the shop remaining shopkeepers like please just please i would love to file an insurance claim to destroy my stuff the robin sparkles how i met your mother's soundtrack about the mall going on maybe that's just me but yes it's fun when you know the area i'm sorry what were you saying

have you been in a mall recently it is walking dead-esque i went in one probably like six months ago it's it's just fucking dead like they may as well bulldoze a couple of the malls not near me i don't have any near me but like you know 20 minutes away from me just make it into a park at this point like no one is going there to buy shit. There's like people outside of Macy's and that's it. That's it. Have you heard Amazon's buying malls? Have you heard this before? I think I mentioned on the show. Like distribution centers. Exactly. It's interesting. So what Amazon wants is giant square footage for distribution center, you know, open floor and um proximity to population and that's what malls get you so those buildings are being repurposed as distribution centers from time to time because they're right

where you want them and they're big and open yeah we really are on the way to just there being one company like it's just it's just amazon now like for now there are benevolent overlords right their customer service is great have you ever returned anything to amazon yeah they make it pretty easy they really do and i'm you guys will not believe this but i actually don't like mailing things that much you just put it back in the package the guy comes to your door and gets it for you right it's like it's great and um uh so that like they really make it easy their customer service is great but once the monopoly is complete then you would think that wouldn't stand so i had uh i had four 45 pound steel plates that i finally

got the notification for show up the other day and it was one of those things where i was like again your muscles cost you money carry on exactly and i was i was in like i think i was in my kitchen or living room just like tidying up doing some stuff and i saw the guy pull up and i knew that it was weight plate day and i just took my dogs went into my bedroom and closed the door because i was too embarrassed to think that he might see through my front window and see me in there just being like you fucking cunt and so i was just like oh boys come on we're going we're going so embarrassed i just was like oh i feel like a bitch because he had to like how did they come

like how were they packaged it hilariously it's just a steel plate a cardboard box around it and the cardboard box has just formed and folded into the shape of the plate of the plate yeah and so it's like this is you could have just sent the steel plate and like threw a thing on there like this is what was this to protect the other items that definitely got fucked up back there. You know, your plates are on top of someone's TV. Yeah. You just know that like the person wrapping that up was like, this is absurd. Why are we boxing? Couldn't we just put Christmas wrapping around it and ship it that way?

You could. There's no you're not going to break a 45 pound plate. I also have four 45 pound steel plates and i've never found the use for more i don't know what's wrong with your lifting routine that's all i need part of it i just wanted to have them because i have i'm getting a couple more plate loaded machines i i fucking had to reach out to titan fitness again today i think because i was like hey that uh chest supported t-bar row I ordered 33 days ago still haven't gotten a shipping notification, and they sent back like,

oh, it's delayed until October 9th. Is that where you sit in the seat facing the machine, and you've got a thing that goes on your chest, and you're reaching forward, grabbing, and pulling toward you? No, it's where you're standing on a plate down here, and it's just a straight thing. I'll just pull it up. Oh, is that where the barbell

goes into a little hole and then you load it and you pull the barbell? It's kind of like a landmine. Yeah. Can you link it? I want to show the people watching. This is literally the one that I ordered.

Okay. It's really just made so you can really blow out your back and even if you want to do the the supinated grip as kyle taught me you really overload your biceps there and so you can do higher weight than you came with a normal uh standing row or bent over row i don't get how this works i I see how the weight would go on. Like it goes on the little penis part of it there at the end, the erection. But that part of the chest goes on the pad. Chest on the pad, feet on the bottom. Oh, I see.

It's a lever. And then you grab those handles and you pull that. And so actually see how it's kind of off tilt here where it's raised or where it's sitting there. So you pull it off, move it slightly to the left so it's over that center bar and then you go up and down with whatever grip you prefer i totally get it yeah and so that one i was really looking forward to and now i'm not going to get that for another fucking month uh but anyway yeah i wanted more just steel basic plates because i'm going to have three plate loaded machines i'd like to just as a

standard for the ones that have two of those, just keep two 45s on there. Just keep two 45s on the other. Just keep one 45 on this just so I'm not lugging around annoying amounts of it. Cause you know, I know I try it in my head. We'll be like,

you know, just think of it as gains. I'm like, no, I'm thinking of it as tedious. This is annoying. Yeah. If those machines start from zero every time and you just transferring the

45 from machine. Yeah, If those machines start from zero every time and you just transferring the 45 from machine, I see where you're going. But if you take the lab machine and I have two 45s on there and the, the little holder thing weighs like 25 pounds or so it's like, okay, so I'm starting at like one Oh five solid. I don't have to load this thing up every time.

So, but yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm so excited. I think once, uh, once everything's in there,

not, I think I'm definitely going to do it. I want to do like a gym tour for my twitch I think that would be good amount of space something I have not I've got thousands of dollars of equipment I don't have a fucking mirror down there I need

a mirror so bad and I was looking up mirrors the other day I don't want to pay this much for mirrors how much is a mirror just a plain one even just a little much is a mirror? Just a plain one. Even just a little one is like a hundred bucks. Like a big standing mirror that you could lean on a wall. Like I was trying to find those cheap ones.

Or even Craigslist I was looking. Not very hard, frankly. But yeah, I really just want some bullshit. There's this really, really nice giant mirror that my mom had at her condo. And I'm thinking about taking that nice ornate mirror and putting it down in my gym just because it's cheaper. Well, it's free. They are kind of expensive.

The one that I would want is $329. The one I really want is $720. Yeah, like this one you just linked, Kyle for 48 by 60 inches. That's a pretty good size mirror, especially cause you're not going to be like right up against it. So it'll show a lot higher and more than that, but $330 Christ. That is so much. Yeah. That's more than T-bar row costs. That was three. That was two 95. It's tricky. Cause you don't want to spend three 30, That was $295. It's tricky because you don't want to spend $330,

but you really don't want to spend $300 and then $330 later. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to spend $100 now half-assing it and then being like, well, nothing would have been as good. And then in the hole. So I guess I'll just buy it nice or buy it twice. I say that as I'm getting this Titan Fitness stuff, but I've never had any problems with their equipment.

It works fine. It's just the welds aren't the most attractive, and their only business model is to make whatever is. Three days after Rogue releases something, Titan's like, yeah, we made that too. Does the same thing, looks shittier by a factor of five, and it costs a third as much. Like a LAT tower from Rogue from rogue holy fuck it's like

three thousand dollars from mine was was 400 bucks and i can do all the same shit like the only little difference thing so that's plate loaded as i had to just spray a tiny bit of wd-40 on there and well that was when i got it and now it's been fine since then oh so the other one is not plate loaded it comes with a stack the other one is not plate loaded. It comes with a stack. The other one is plate loaded, too. But so but that one's all cable. The chest one's all cable. This one is a lat tower. So it's got those two spokes that things go up and down on.

And I was just right off the start. I was like, oh, there's a little bit of friction on this thing. So, yeah, it's been fine since then, though. Yeah, it's great. I think it's like I'm really feeling my back. I'm going to build a much bigger back with that i'm i don't know i'm just in a mood or i'm just loving working out i'm having a great time with it i've been down that route on purchasing things like a bunch of different

avenues it's like you know what i'm gonna get the good one i normally buy titan but this time i'm going rogue because whatever feeling fat right now like fat and cash uh you know and i'm gonna i'm gonna get the good one then you look at the price and you're like whoa i didn't know it was 300 versus 3 000 i'm opening a gym yeah i was ready to spend membership 50 premium and it's a 10 banger jesus christ buy a yeti cooler you'll know what i mean oh yeah like i've in like some of the reviews from people who are just doing like look at me i'm strong reviews where they'd be like yeah there's lat tower uh it's great for most people if you try and load up 400 pounds on the pull down you know it just

can't handle it's like you're you're absurd sir you shouldn't be putting 400 pounds on your lap a liar on the internet a guy from Rogue is putting that there he's going boom boom he's doing the Spider-Man shit where he's hanging on it

and push off the ceiling yeah you don't need that much. If you've gotten a 400 pound lap pulse, you should be earning enough for your equipment at the bodybuilding shows that you're clearly going to. Yeah. You should be sponsored by someone.

You should be sponsored by the Lat Kings or whoever, the Latin Kings. That's a great name for a whole new fitness product line. no it's the name of our new motorcycle gang you've just witnessed it we're gonna be the lat kings but it's written it has to be written like this we'll do a little emblem of the guy flexing in the lat the latin king oh man we probably shouldn't ride bikes through lat the latin king the latin king oh man we probably shouldn't ride bikes through areas

with latin kings on I don't think we'll be okay in the midwest you don't understand we're mocking you we're making a joke about you do any of you know snow

yo weto is that you trying to escape going Do any of you know snow? Yo, Winto, is that you? Trying to escape, going 65 miles an hour on my governed three-wheeler. They're swinging chains. In a hydraulically hopping car oh yeah that's a good ass idea the lat kinks maybe don't do that no I won't do that

ordering custom shirt now I get into like I'm having a lot of fun building out the home gym like and for the cost of some of this titan fitness stuff it's just so fucking cheap and maybe i'll eat my words on like this machine i won't eat my words on the t-bar row machine there's no way to fuck that up like if maybe the chest thing isn't what i'm hoping for if it's not i'm out you know a few hundred bucks

as opposed to you know five thousand i think you'll be fine it was funny you were talking about the weight of the 45s when um when i bought my squat rack like some of the packages were so fucking heavy i'm like oh my god i'm i'm a weightlifter now i should be able to do this but it's a real struggle to get the uh but i'm like that too yeah where i I just cut the box open in my driveway usually, and then just carry everything in on its own. Otherwise you're just asking for drywall projects on the way to the basement. I went the other direction.

I wanted the cardboard protection. So if I bump a, what do you call a doorway? You know, the casing inside a door, like if I bump that with cardboard, it's going to be okay. Whereas if I bump it with steel, it's a whole new thing. I've got a really nice set of hand trucks that I keep in the garage. And anytime I'm moving something, even moderately heavy, I use those. I hear you.

These are eight foot long steel bars. Like not different than the orange one behind me, but like a bunch more. Yeah, that'd be a problem. Yeah. Yeah. What brand is that what what brand is that uh that thing you got behind you there that chin up apparatus i bought it when i saw price but i can look it up it looks fancy oh i wouldn't call it that but it looks 500 fancy no i think it was more like, let's search pull.

Because the $200 pull-up rack wiggles and jiggles everywhere, and that thing looks legit that you've got. No, it wiggles and jiggles when I do some pull-ups on it. But I never fear that it's not going to hang up. It's just the nature of a pull-type thing. Okay. God damn, that ain't bad at all. Yeah. I had been trying to do pull-ups on, you know, the ones that, like, hang over your doorway off the molding.

I've seen enough YouTube videos to never get into that. I just worry it's not going to work out and, you know, that it's a problem. But this thing, you can't break it. Like, a human won't break it. A chimpanzee wouldn't break that thing. Like, it's a problem but this thing you can't break like a human won't a chimpanzee wouldn't break that thing like it's gonna it's gonna be fine and uh the bar isn't as like there's better knurling on my downstairs pull-up center but uh it's good enough and i think i put black tape around it so i get a better grip and yeah i was gonna say i would prefer um like thick rubberized grippy points thick thick is where i disagree rubber sounds nice but uh not thick like not like fat grips

just yeah not like fat grips but but thicker than some bars like not a one inch bar one inch is too small i actually have fat grips i know you guys can't see them but they're right oh there for the people watching but i didn't like them i felt like they they were irritating my elbow or something and i stopped using them yeah if anything hurts you should stop that's good advice yeah yeah but it's not obvious advice no pain no gain seems like the more obvious advice but yeah different kinds of pain though anytime anything starts hurting it's like all right this has to be done a different way this is like when i woke up this morning and like my lats and my upper back were really sore i'm like oh that's that's no pain no gain like when i was doing farmer's carries and my leg just

started hurting and it just felt like a strained meniscus it was like oh no this is this is a potential injury like that haven't had any dealing with that since so i'm sure it's fucking fine but uh yeah i i'm really if you didn't carry fucking 240 pounds around when you farmer carried maybe you wouldn't have that problem well but that's how much you want to get that burn you want to feel like you're doing something you want to when you put it down you want it to be do you carry a pair of 120s a pair of 120s generally good uh for for the uh farmers carries and like it and the thing that like it's it's partially a detriment but also a bonus is that the the mini farmer's walk handles i got from titan for that you know it's not like a yoke thing or whatever it's called where they're attached just individual handheld things the handles on them are so goddamn slippery no knurling no grip whatsoever

and i never put anything on there that like i think it's really improved my grip strength a lot having to i mean you have that thing that um do you you don't you don't have dumbbells for that you've got that that thing you put the plates on right yep yeah i load them up with plates yeah you might like taylor chalk i am i was having callus problems which oh you have it already probably for a listener i was having callus problems they're really getting out of control like the calluses were almost painful because they they get too big and then operate in a weird way and i have a mountain climber friend and i was like here's something you might know a lot about and he pointed me in the right direction with chalk and uh i still have calluses but it's one third of what it used to be it's not nearly the problem so i got some like uh yeah i use the chalk

that helps honestly a lot of the time i forget to use the chalk at all and i just don't but when i it but um uh yeah that i use uh this like no crack extra moisture some like it comes in a tub it's like a lotion thing and it's supposed to be for people who work with their hands and i've been using that and you know you know what i mean like we're a callus like you'll feel like starting to rip as you're putting a bunch of strain on it and i hate that feeling i hate it it seems like this, like it keeps them soft enough. They're hard enough that they're calluses, but that shit keeps it soft enough that they're not going to tear off.

They'll like fold instead. So that's been helpful. Maybe I haven't forbid. We wear gloves. I don't want to wear gloves. I don't like, I don't know. Someone might see me in my basement.

Think I'm a pussy. I just don't want to wear it. I don't have any glue. Mine are downstairs in the gym, but mine were too padded in the palm and it ruined my grip. It was just too fluffy in the middle. Yeah, I wouldn't want to feel that when I was benching. I don't know.

I like the tactile feeling of it. Yeah, I don't think you need it for bench. Anything you're pushing. But if you're pulling, like if you're like chainsaws or it's true yeah uh like bent rows maybe even um but anything with dumbbells if you got super super neural dumbbells um farmers carries with some dumbbells are going to be excruciating if you don't have uh gloves on yeah that's true i mean with i've never done farmers carries with dumbbells so i guess that makes sense.

Maybe they made those handles smooth on purpose so it doesn't fuck with you. It definitely makes it harder to fucking grip, though. Way harder. Yeah, that's interesting. I've seen those racks before that you use for the farmer's carries. I wonder what those feel like versus dumbbells. Because it's the angle that your arms are taking, you know, is going to be different. How is a chainsaw different than bent over row?

Well, it's one arm. Is it bent over row? Oh, it's with the barbell. The two is the bent over row. Yeah. And you really get your body at a 90 degree angle to the floor. Chainsaws with a cable machine, isn't it? You can do chainsaws with a cable,

but usually with a dumbbell. Gotcha. I would love some dumbbells. Not even fucking... You know what? If I find them, unless they are truly egregious and prizing, I'm just going to buy them.

I'm not paying $3 a pound. That's absurd. absurd again it's expensive to be you yeah yeah i would like to get a couple i would start off i'd want 70 through 90. oh do you start there yeah because i don't need anything lower than that uh oh really come on what are you no no i'm saying that like i'm comfortable just using barbell stuff and like plate loaded stuff for everything lower than that i'm talking about like as a money saving thing like i don't need i don't want to go from 50 to 100 i probably want to go from 70 to 100 you want to go from 5 to 100 yeah i mean that would look nicer it would look real nice to have

the full setup but again i'm not as strong but i use like the 20s and 25s all the time yeah i mean like i said no one's so strong that they have no use for a 20 pound dumbbell or 25 pound dumbbell that's silly and but just from a cost saving measure i would much much rather start high and just stay high yeah because i've been totally convinced i think it was you guys actually or maybe it was you woody talking about those adjustable ones that i was thinking about a while back and then the more i did digging on that i was like i am setting myself up for an enormous headache you're gonna buy twice i'm sure in that situation i might have gone the other direction if you still lived in your

apartment you know you're gonna be moving with those weights and you're you don't have uh is the space you do in your basement but the way you are now like you should buy dumbbells and you should buy a big rack that will hold all the dumbbells you'll ever need and you'll be so glad that whenever you want the correct weight is just a grip away yeah and i need to slow down with the acquisitions because then i was looking at those cross cable machines because they have plate loaded cross cable machines uh or cable crossover machines rather and the one of titan's only like 450 bucks and then i was like do you do you need this no chill out get your other stuff enjoy that for a while save this as a treat down down the road perhaps

i might be following you with i'm sorry with the acquisitions if i had a bigger room but the two pieces of equipment that i would want the most are um that the legit cable machine not that bullshit cable machine that like would fit in anybody's fucking bedroom where like the cables are so short to close together that it's's like a cable cross comes out to here, and then across you can't even extend. I don't like those. I would want the legit one, the big one, so that when you're doing a cable cross,

you're almost crucified when you're relaxing. And it's got 200 pounds of plates on each side. And then the crossover beam has a legit chin-up bar on it side and uh it's those you know and then the crossover beam has like a legit chin-up bar on it and then dumbbells like those are the two you could do anything with with those two things like like you really don't even need a bench press at that point you could do dumbbell uh on like a a bench if you wanted to for for like chest uh and tricep stuff but the those cables do so so so, so many things when you consider all the angles. I mean, just chest flies, you can do three or four different

angles. You could start low and come up to here and then, or you could, you could do up, up high to down, like, like you can work your whole chest, your shoulders, your traps, your back, everything with those, those cable machines. You do curls. I i mean obviously you just lower the position down to the ground and you can do cable curls with one arm if you want whatever you want to do anything and so here i'll show you i think the one you're talking about is similar to this i'm trying to show people what we're talking about and uh i would like that it even has the pull-up area, which I would probably dig a lot. But the kind of cable crossover machine I've always digged is the

link above it, which looks like this. The free motion? Yeah. I worry about that. It seems like we looked at this and there was some issue with the amount of resistance that it provided. How much is each stack? Yeah yeah we did look at that it had like a mechanical advantage or something was almost bad it was like you put 300 pounds on there it feels like 100 like wait a minute we're lifting weights you know like maybe you're right if you're if you're

seriously working out you know you're gonna surpass a hundred on some cable exercises within within six months like just your tricep extensions right say athleanx has something just like this if it works he does he does he has that exact he has a machine of the same class type like the way it's got these arms that move around and hit all those different angles he definitely has that but again this that's the he's he's small and lean and i don't think he's as strong as he's a little guy he's just so my like i'm i'm six feet tall 200 pounds i think that he's like five foot nine you're adorable very complimentary kyle yeah you're welcome uh you know and he's like five foot nine 150 pounds or something like that uh you know and he's like five foot nine 150 pounds or something like that

yeah i maybe maybe i could find one in real life or something and i don't know that's what i like though i like the the really big one um that matrix makes. I feel like you really got to go big or go home with this, with this kind of cable crossover machine. Like if there is something worth spending a few grand on, this is probably it. And the, and the end, I would just go to a gym, you know,

because I don't love at home. Like I, I like the freedom I have. I enjoy not waiting in line. I like switching it up whenever I want. I like being able to go up, you know, let my dogs out, whatever I'm doing, take care of work stuff throughout the day if i'm in the middle like

it's just it really improves my quality of life to have a gym at home i like doing bicep curls in the squat rack that's fucking awesome set it right down on the thing what'd you say easy bar yeah oh you have i like the easy bar yeah it makes your wrist feel so much better i should get that for me at least oh yeah you need an easy bar yeah they're cheap like if doing barbell curls it's just when you get high up it starts to feel weird you know where like you're which one'd you buy taylor uh imagine you did some research yeah ohio something maybe i don't know oh i bought the rogue ohio bar uh the standard barbell that was like one of the big tips i saw online is people like you can go pretty cheap with a rack because as long as it's a full caged rack it's going to be able to handle any amount

of weight that any human can handle it's going to be fine it's steel it's a lot stronger than us but they were like but do not cheap out on barbells because you'll get splinters. You'll get splits on the sleeve of it. It'll just be bad news. The knurling apparently isn't as good. And so I just went, I paid like 340 bucks for my bar. That was the most expensive like single non-equipment item that I have. And so it's worked perfectly.

The knurling is perfect. There's some rust on it now that I need to clean off, but it's great. There's some chalk where I put my hands for benching after I've done, you know. I do like chalk when I'm benching now that I'm thinking about it. When I remember to, I really like, like, you know, when you're screwing your shoulders down lower into the bench

before you get going and you kind of really wrench in your hand. I like that. I do like that. Have you broken a sweat doing the show? Oh, no, I'm sweaty every show oh my god yeah i'm sweaty every show i also didn't wear deodorant you're right i took a shower after i worked out and i had the hot sweats and i ate a bunch of food and then i came in here and did this. Okay. We're like talking about just a conversation about

pumping iron. Taylor's body is responding. I'm getting excited. I'm getting pumped. It's like when they started talking dirty to Bobo. That's the best thing. Bobo, would you lick your tits? Do you think you'd do that? Yeah, I would lick your tits. Would you lick her tits? You think you'd do that?

Yeah, I would lick her tits. I would lick that. He starts getting a hard on it. And then they start like, I think the Mets are going to do this year. That new starting pitcher is like, well, he's ERA, and then they're good,

and his cock starts going down. Yeah, but that pussy, that's a real nice pussy she's got. I bet it's wet. I bet she gets so wet for it, and he's just like, yeah, she gets so wet for me she's got i bet it's wet i bet you get so wet for you and he's just like yeah he gets too wet for me i like him when he's sloppy maybe you're nice with bobo from the opie and anthony show part of their whack pack

anyone out there who's looking for a very funny clip to watch look up uh like patrice o'neill meets bobo and it's patrice's first time being there and they just have him like stand there i guess with his pants off and jimmy will describe sexual things to him and this guy he's he's retarded and he's had like a million dick surgeries and so his dick's all fucked up literally like 30 dick surgeries randomly and he just loves the show for some reason so he comes in and Jim will be like hey this this girl I saw you talking to on Twitter she's pretty cute right it's like yeah yeah she's pretty cute I suppose and it's like you ever think about her tits what do you think her tits look like and he'll just start getting rock hard standing in front of all these guys being like

i bet i bet they're pretty good tits yeah i bet they're pretty good and then then met stuff apparently like he leaked all over the ona emblem on the carpet and uh he peed on it in serious pre-con no pre-um like he just he just leaks cum when he leaks pre-cum when he gets horny that's a lot of pre-cum i don't i don't want to see it but the way patrice's howling laugh happens every time jim switches from the mets to sex back to the mets and his dick changes is like patrice o'neill is the most contagious laugh in the world you know and woody you're up there too you have a really contagious laugh patrice o'neill have you heard how he like verbally bullies everyone and how it was like the thing they always used

to do you probably heard these routines right does that seem like a is Is he a... Is he cool or is he a dick? They all loved him, but they all had a lot of him too. Like, you've heard this story. Surely you probably watched the same video as I did. What do you think? Would you want Patrice in your life? In a comedy way,

yeah. Like, doing a show with him, riffing with him, that kind of thing. Yeah, he'd be awesome at it he i mean the evidence is all there he was hilarious as far as like being a close tight friend i don't know because he is tremendously judgmental but he's judgmental and a very funny nitpicky like oh no i see who you are i know what you're doing like that kind of shit and it's just forget he was great i think it was kevin hart kevin hart tells the story he's up there and he's doing his routine and he's not killing it right kevin hart's funny we all know that but he's not having a good night it's not going for him

and patrice o'neill takes a phone book throws it on the stage he's like read that it's better material and then the whole crowd is on patrice jesus christ in front of he's working right now he's not having a good night and he just slayed him and kevin hart was like there was no coming back from that i never i just wanted to leave and he bombed and that was how it ended and i mean the friend would have set him up for success, not tore him down. Yeah. I mean, I think he's more being shitty there. Yeah.

And that wasn't the only time it was, I think there's even an ONA interview with Chris rock and Patrice with Chris rock. Obviously he's been wildly successful for a very long time. It was being like Patrice, you're just the most self self-sabotaging motherfucker. Like you could have been the funny black warehouse worker on The Office and you didn't.

You fucked up. Now you don't have that. And he was... Wait. Yeah, in the first season of The Office, first couple seasons, the guy that's not Daryl, the other big black guy, that's Patrice O'Neill. His head shaved. Yeah. I think his head was usually...

I bet you'd like to swim with the sea monster. Yeah. I think his head was usually. I bet you'd like to swim with the sea monster. Yeah. How did he lose that job? He's like, hey, say something. Honey, you've offended the nice man. You should apologize. I never noticed that. Yeah, he's that guy.

Yeah, it's fun when other people. Okay, I've seen this. Howard Stern, when he interviewed people, he was always the king of his castle, right? When he's in that studio, he's the alpha guy. And when you bring in like a Britney Spears or whatever, they still seem to succumb to his thing. He could have Brooke Shields or Big Star or something.

And he's still the one asking the questions directing the conversation and his voice on that mic is so alpha and you know he's the guy and then jerry seinfeld comes on and jerry seinfeld yields fucking zero to howard stern and howard's like giving him a hard time you know do you ever notice this or that and seinfeld's like what you want to come at me you want to come at me let's talk about underdog oh you how'd your tv show do huh how'd your tv show do you want to talk about how my tv show did because your tv show went nowhere and howard's like yeah well you know i didn't quite have the budget of arsenio hall oh right that's it undergirl girl's a whole lot funny with better lighting.

That's your problem. He just, like, he shredded Howard on his own show. And something about that, like, power dynamic was hilarious. Jerry Seinfeld came to a Cisco meeting, and we had this annual thing. It was a big deal. They get Jerry Seinfeld to come and, like, talk to us for a little bit.

And our CEO, now, if you've ever worked at a big company that like the top guy is like a celebrity everyone like like like they get starstruck when they're near billionaire or whatever he is and uh and jerry seinfeld not starstruck he hands them this like camera that cisco makes and then the jerry our ceo is like here you, and these are the directions, but you won't need it. Cause it's so user friendly. It's Seinfeld's like, huh?

Yeah. You can keep it if you want. I'm also a billion. Like, like there's 500 people. And Jerry Seinfeld just knocked our, knocked our CEO down a peg in front of all of them. And that was just – I find it glorious to watch that kind of thing.

Just a guy richer than you. Someone who's alpha in every room not being alpha anymore. Like that's neat to see. Yeah. Yeah, I like when Jerry's on the uh the stern show yeah has it happened lately my example is really old yeah mine's probably a couple years old i i stopped i unsubscribed from serious and stopped listening to howard um i couldn't take anymore it wasn't as funny as uh it used to be and when i say used to be i mean the 90s anyway like like because when i first bought

my when i first started listening to serious there's two channels there's howard 100 and howard 101 he's got two fucking channels on the thing and it seemed like i don't remember i might get it backwards but maybe 100 was his lot what happened today in the howard stern universe and 101 was like best of and i spent like a year and a half, two years listening to the best of Howard Stern. And I'd catch the new shows occasionally. And it didn't seem that bad, you know, because I was getting like five, six hours of old stuff and then two or three hours of new stuff. But then when I had finally made it through the entire catalog that they had not, or at least it seemed that way, I started hearing reruns.

I'm like, oh, yeah, Gilbert Gottfried again. Oh, okay, this is the one where they're putting anal ring toss or whatever. And once I got through all that and started listening to nothing but today's Howard Stern, I hated it. It was not funny anymore. It was just his boring old man life now. He's just talking about that fucking supermodel wife of his has turned him into such a pussy piece of shit.

He's like a vegan with a house full of rescue cats. He's always complaining about his health like he's like he's like a neurotic jew who's just like oh i can't run anymore because of my knees so i'm on this diet when he's like he's eating like 800 calories a day or some retarded diet just trying to stay lean in his 70s or however the fuck old he is he's too lean he looks sickly and and just like talking about like like hanging out with jimmy kimmel and all of his millionaire and billionaire friends and like i'm like i like the guy who threw stuff at ladies buttholes you know and like paid drug addicts to shave their pussies i I listened to Howard live in the nineties a lot. I had a lot of driving to do.

And, um, one thing I remember about that is he would talk about older DJs and shock jocks. Who's the white guy. Also really thin. He was on MSNBC law. I miss,

I miss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He talked about, I miss and some other guys who were kind of big, a generation before Howard is sad shells of themselves. And he's like, that's the radio business, man. You know, like no one goes out on top. They always go out slowly

sinking, thinking about their glory days, wanting respect that the resting on their laurels, not having it anymore. And it's funny to hear you describe Howard as the guy I remember from the nineties fear, right? He was afraid he would turn into what he kind of has. He's shifted. Like, like he's happy with what he's doing. And that's the, that's one thing you can say about him. Like he's not doing somebody else's show and he's not doing what necessarily I think I would say 30% of the fans want to see he's, he's evolved into this guy who does amazing interviews, um, with celebrities,

but I don't give a shit about celebrities at all. Like, like when he had the Kardashians on, I'm just like, what the fuck do I care? I, I, I can almost write his quest,

his, his question list before I hear the show. I know he's going to ask Courtney Kardashianney Kardashian if she likes Big Black Dick. No shit. She dates Lamar Odom. Like, yes, she likes Big Black Dick. I don't care about that. Why don't you ask her what it's like being in like a fickle piece of shit social media star

that provides nothing to the world but another bullshit knockoff product to make them try to look like you pretend to look every day with fucking instagram filters how do you feel being the most superficial official human being alive yeah you should ask that you should ask that he should ask her to bend over and shove that anal ring up her ass and let some midgets throw rings at it that's what i want to see courtney kardashian do he used to ask stuff that harsh i forget he had a big time actress on i think she was on melrose place and uh he asked her if she wore painting hose on her wedding night to feel like a virgin i guess the idea

that the pantyhose is a hymen i think is what he was going for but that's a crude question pretty crude pretty crude um you know i i liked it when he would bring guests in there and then just embarrass them uh i don't know or like like like complete they would think they were coming in for a professional interview like he does now but instead he would ask them about their affair so how did your wife find uh feel when she found out about the transvestite prostitutes, Rob Lowe? Oh, God. Rob Lowe? No, I'm just saying.

I was like, that's Eddie Murphy. You're mixing it up. Oh, and he ripped Eddie Murphy for that for so long. They would do these skits. Yeah. Anytime something like that would happen, the most embarrassing shit ever, they would rip would where they would call yeah they anything something anytime something like that would happen the most embarrassing shit ever they would rip on people for people would die people would die and they would rip on them for 9-11 is like the one time they didn't make fun of

he um it's funny he uh john denver they'd sang country roads and take me home yeah west virginia or whatever anyway uh he died in a small plane accident if i recall and howard was just ripping him ripping him on his poor decision making forever getting in a small plane yeah because howard's a fucking coward he doesn't do anything interesting or risky like not with his like like like maybe in his like like professional life like he might do something risky like asking a risque question or having some sort of like crazy contest that's gonna get him fined by uh by the government but he's not gonna fucking go skiing he's not gonna fucking like ride a motorcycle he's not gonna do anything interesting or like he's he's milquetoast when it comes to like real life shit he's a pussy in real life you wouldn't want to hang around with that

guy you couldn't go out with that guy somewhere i think you're right yeah i i think i've mostly been like it all is an exaggeration but work with it of his professional life like he's ambitious right he tries to do big things and He wants to be number one every place he goes. I may be hyper-focused on that part and kind of ignored that in real life he buys cars based on crash protection.

He doesn't even drive. He doesn't know how to drive. Howard Stern doesn't know how to drive. He's had a driver for decades. He hasn't driven since. He's so removed from how normal people live, he probably doesn't even realize he's become this, right? I'm sure he has some inkling,

but it's evident that he's so different than his fan base now that it's ridiculous. Again, all of his hobbies. i don't give a fuck about your hobbies like there may be some people who listen to this who are like y'all talk about mma we talk about mma for fucking 10 fucking minutes this guy will do four hours on his his fucking water painting like like he's he's painting he's learning to be an artist and then he'll give up on that and he'll pick up some obscure musical instrument for like a year. And then it'll be just rescue cats, rescue cats, rescue cats.

If we started fucking collecting rescue cats and pushing the listeners to donate money so we could rescue more fucking cats, we'd drown cats here. That's what we'd do. We'd put them under fucking five-gallon buckets and bake them in the sun. That's just funny. Yeah, fuck cats. That's just funny. Yeah, fuck that. That's actually not funny.

He did that. He was a child. That's one of the key signs of psychopathy when you murder small animals. On accident. Yeah, I want to say you want to slow and enjoy the pain if you want to be a psycho yeah probably i guess so i don't know that's how i did it on purpose i never killed any real cats

on purpose but i think i might have um magnifying glass burnt some ants here and there i kill a lot of stuff they're not even animals ants who cares are? I'm not sure. Are there insects in the animal kingdom? They are. I was just meaning they're not animals, the way we think about animals. Okay, we'll go there. I don't know that I've ever killed a cat.

I ran one over once. And you've killed a cat. He didn't survive, I guarantee it. I went back. I'm not one of those people who will run an animal over and leave it crippled in the road. I go back for second seeds. Oh, yeah.

That's good etiquette. Yeah. Scott ran over a deer one time in his truck, and he was a welder at the time. He still is. But I don't know if you guys know what a slag hammer looks like. I'll link it up. I'll show you what it looks like.

And he got out, and the deer was still alive, but it was crippled. Good God, he used a slag hammer on it? The waist down. And he grabbed one of these slag hammers like this that's got the heat-dissipating grip, and he hammered a hole into its forehead and killed it he uh he used the pointy end and he grabbed an ear and he hacked into its skull and beat it to death with a slag hammer well not the first time he had to beat a deer to death by the way with a slag hammer he bayoneted one once oh i was afraid we were going

to bare hands punching in the ribs until it's dead yeah he uh he was hunting with a russian or a chinese sks which is like this shitty oh you know you play tarkov he had an sks and uh he he clipped the deer in the top of the spine paralyzed. And so they start screaming when you do that for some reason. I don't know. And they start crawling around with their front legs. I've done it a few times too. It's messy. And they're like crawling with their front legs and their whole rear is just paralyzed.

And he had a bayonet attached to the SKS, but he didn't have a lot of money. So he didn't have a lot of bullets. And so he was out of bullets he only came with like two bullets and he fired them both so he had to like bayonet the deer down that way uh my dad didn't eat it this is a ruined deer all the adrenaline taste that fear okay i'm told it tastes bad but i don't know anything about this. That would have made it taste like shit, I'm sure, with the adrenaline. Dad did that one time, too. He clipped a deer's spine from extreme long range, and he saw the deer drop.

And so deer drops, it's dead, you assume. Usually. Well, he gets there, and it's been spine shot. And all he has is a leather man, so he had to, yeah. So, you know, you flip the blade out on the leather man, and then you straighten the whole thing out, so you've got like a, it you flip the blade out on the leather man and then you straighten the whole thing out so you've got like a it's like the handle is like extra long and then he drove the whole thing into the the well like even the even the half the grip yeah

yeah killed it with that and then uh i think there was another time we had to go hand to hand with a deer oh yeah when i was fucking four he uh he had shot a deer and had ran away and uh we tracked it down to this uh ravine and he go to goes down to the ravine and he like grabs it by the antlers to drag it up out of the ravine and it comes alive it wasn't dead and now he's got this deer by the antlers that's been wounded and it's fighting with him. But I'm four. I'm a toddler. You're not helpful.

Not only am I not helpful, he's afraid the deer will trample over me if he lets it go. So he's yelling for me to run. Well, I've got my fucking Daniel Boone hat and my slingshot. I'm trying to help, so I'm shooting acorns. Acorns? Yeah, you know, I'm trying to help. So I'm shooting acorns. Acorns? Yeah, you know, I'm four. Fucking shoot acorns

at these motherfuckers. It'd be funny if I hit my dad in the eye and he's just like, ah! And we had our Weimaraner with us. Good dog. Which is a wonderful dog. And dad's like, get him, Sam! And Sam lunges and hits the deer so hard it pulls the deer out of my dad's hands.

And now Sam is fighting the deer. And dad jumps back on the deer. And now Sam and dad are fighting the deer together. And dad's got the antlers and he's dragging it across the ground. And Sam is on his throat, stretching the skin out, just beating the shit out of this deer. And dad gets his belt off and wraps it around the antler wraps that around a tree and cinches it tight ties it in a knot now the deer's like got its head to a tree and sam is showing no mercy so we went to go get a gun to finish the deer off we

didn't bring a gun we assumed we were looking for a dead deer and when we got back sam had killed the deer wow what a good boy my, being the wonderful lady that she is, took Sam to a dirt road somewhere and left him there. Why did she do that? She was tired of feeding Sam and being the one to take care of him. Well, dogs get fed. That's a dog thing. Oh, that poor pup.

Poor Sam. Poor Sam. Poor Sam. Dad looked for him for weeks. She got rid of Sam without talking to your father, too. That's another piece of it. She kidnapped Sam, yeah. She stole Sam away and then basically put him to death. Yep.

Whenever I bring that up, Dad will always say the same thing. I looked for that dog for weeks. Oh. Sam was a good boy. He was the bestest of boys. Yeah. F's in the comment section for good boy Sam. Yeah.

That one sits hard. I don't like that. Yeah, that's a good way to end the show right there on a nice low note. You're not supposed to do that. That'll make him want to come back for a happy note next week. All right. And no outros? No, we are good. PKA 509.