Painkiller Already - PKA 510 w LVNDMARK - Woody's Horrible Haircut, PKA Plays Among Us, Woody's Huge Gong

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

Painkiller already, episode 510 guest landmark for the first two hours Taylor? This episode of PK is brought to you by Honey and ExpressVPN you'll hear more about them later but for now let's get to know Landmark a little bit, I know mostly about you because Woody and Kyle fill my head with

updates five hours a week about you, I've never spoken to you and I know a lot about you thank you for coming on thank you for having me. Yeah, you've been killing it on Twitch. You've been streaming since what? Like this time last year, roughly?

I was a Twitch affiliate on December 1st, 2019. You have had one of the most successful years in Twitch history, I would bet. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. I'm just kind of doing my thing, you know and it's working out really well and one of the things that i appreciate the most about you as a person you know what from having watched so many of your streams you seem to have realized that you've got this like cool moment there's this this opportunity to take hold of and you've really taken hold of it

i like even the things you eat you're like yeah i just eat uh meat and rice because that's really quick to cook and i can get right back to to the stream dude i was in a landmark stream and the chat's like hey i want to see daily vlogs and he's like vlogs what this is it i stream 12 hours a day you think you're missing anything right here yeah in the fog right here, yeah. Dude, you know when you go on a roller coaster, and the roller coaster's awesome, and you pull back up,

and there's all those people in line, and you're like, dude, you don't know this ride that's in front of you. I swear that's how I see you. I'm on the other side of this roller coaster, right? They hit the brakes. They release you from your seatbelt. I've taken this ride that I see you on. And I'm wondering, like, how are you liking it so far?

Right? You're on the upside. You're on the coolest part. Let me describe this ride for you. Right? Here it is. It starts off like this. Okay.

I'll make content. What the fuck? Right? Maybe make some new friends. Maybe people like it. Maybe they don't. Who knows? Two.

What? People like me? This is neat. Maybe people like it. Maybe they don't. Who knows? Two, what? People like me? This is neat. I'm getting popular. It's kind of fun to be popular. Who doesn't like to walk into a room and have everyone cheer your name, right? That's like step two. Step three, holy smokes.

There's a financial opportunity here. Like this could be a cool thing. Let's see. And by the way, unlike work, all the time you spend directly translates into success. Whereas if you really, really bust your ass at work, you hope they notice you and give you 5% instead of 3%

or whatever the fuck they're going to give you. Right. Isn't that depressing? Step four, the ATF breaks your door down. They drag you away in the night. That's coming, don't worry. Step five. See all those guns in the night. That's coming. Don't worry. Step five. See all those guns?

Kiss them goodbye, Landmark. Step four. Holy smokes. I'm in a brand new tax bracket. This is life changing. I don't know how long this lasts, but we're going to capitalize it. And step five. Tell me if I see this yet.

Money doesn't buy happiness. Oh, my goodness maybe sitting in a darkened room 12 hours a day playing video games without interaction from other people is kind of contrary to mental health and you know now maybe i find this balance between like things outside of this but there's also this doesn't last forever you know so maybe sitting in a room for 12 hours a day every day isn't the best for you is your point dude i've been there for your pocketbook yes when when woody was really skyrocketing on youtube he had a bunk bed in his office instead of going to bed with his wife sometimes he would he would crawl up right above his pc into a bed and get a few uh

winks of shut eye and then crawl back down and go back for some more gameplays that is so funny every waking minute was working i like all i did if i was awake i was working at something and it could be getting gameplay because youtube's different you have to get like your better gameplays you don't just show them all it could be getting gameplay it could be making a video but if it wasn't those it might just be interacting with people on twitter or youtube comments or something now it's twitch the game has changed a bit but those were every minute was spent furthering this thing you know trying to i don't know just increase your presence and do a little better um what you haven't done and what i didn't do but could have is the whole video where you come clean

and tell your fans you haven't been happy for the last six months. Perhaps teary-eyed, that's up to you. Oh, that's a rite of passage in the online content community. No, you save the tears for when you rip off a bunch of children. You're also going to want a small dog. Dude, I love

when you can look at the thumbnails and see the story of those YouTubers. That's my friend. No, it's Woody's close, close friend that he worked with. That's the guy who wrote it. No, I know who you're talking about. He wasn't talking about me, but it was my friend, and I was defending him. I like how you'll see, like, September

3rd, trying every flavor at Baskin-Robbins, like, September 5th. I just want to end it! And all it is. Come on, settle down. You eat ice cream for a living. So dude, how's life in the new tax bracket? I saw you got the juice can in.

We do. There it is. Are these new purchases or did you have these before you got old? He bought all of these in the last six months. Some old mix. There's been some new additions lately. This is probably the most impressive. You've got a pretty nice collection there.

We've been working on a custom gun for the stream, but that's still a few weeks out. We've got a custom Glock in the works, so that'll be sick. Agency Arms is doing it all. Nice. That's awesome. So now you're partnering up with gun companies? You're banging on all cylinders. It's not a partnership.

Oh, you're talking about making a one-of-one? It's a one-of-one, yep. Oh, you might want to think about maybe making some more of them. Like maybe you could do like a thousand rifle run. Sell them. It's going to be a one-of-one Glock for me. Kyle's suggesting landmark branded Glocks.

This is a business idea that he's put. You want an AR-15? That's what everybody wants anyway. Yeah. Everyone wants Glocks. You can do whatever you want, just don't order pot in the mail. Don't do that. Don't do that. A lot of good podcast bits

come out of it but oh it'll be funny for like two years of material for your podcast there'll be a clip show industry spawned from your jail time absolutely yes hypothetic you'll get to meet all sorts of new people and then not get to talk to them again because it's against the law to continue to affiliate i'm glad's against the law to continue to Affiliate with them I'm glad there's a law that prevents me from talking to my former cellmates It's easy to explain to them Why I can't talk to them

They get it They don't get to come to barbecues They can't talk to you? No they can't It's for the best I'm trying to count how many guns are back there This rivals what Kyle's background used to look like. That's insane.

Except that it's organized. Kyle's always laying on the ground and tipping over and shit. Yeah, I never believed in organization. They needed to be laying everywhere. Like in the court documents, they were like, and firearms were strewn from one corner of the residence to the other the vehicles each had a dozen rifles i went to visit kyle's house in real life and there was a 50 cal on a bipod pointed at the front door like for intruders i don't know i did think it

would be cool to shoot an intruder down that hallway with the bmg that that that did cross my mind but also you know it looked cool there in the living room there may or may not be one off screen what state i thought there is yeah uh woody i keep that a little private for the best okay i've gotten some advice from other people and some of them some streamers have said if there's one thing i can go back and do it's i wouldn't tell people where i lived fuck it i did i take them on microsoft flight simulator tours of the yard i'll land out front and woody's been swatted so you know there's really no downside to telling people dude i've been swatted so many times they call in advance they're like woody are you killing anyone i'm like no the perfect time you're on the long game when he finally does snap and go on a rampage they're gonna it's gonna be the fifth call

before they're like are you sure woody's in the shopping mall going nuts he's escaping by flight going seven miles an hour due i don't know why i didn't go downwind that was his key mistake you know in the behind the music of I don't know why I didn't go downwind. Idiot. I didn't know why I went downwind. That was his key mistake behind the music of why this YouTuber went crazy. Former dance competition winner. That's how they would intro you. Yeah, but getting back to the point, I really admire your dedication because it seems like you've made this your full-time job. You've taken time away or retired maybe from whatever you were doing before you know your diet is all about expediency

your uh your sleeping habits seem to be incredibly unhealthy like sometimes i catch you at the very beginning of your stream like 4 or 5 p.m and you just look so exhausted you look like you that alarm went off and you were like all right yeah i mean like five five six hours a night yeah maybe sometimes less but do you talk about what you did uh prior to starting twitch ever no so well i did a lot of school and then uh got out of school and self-employed for a while and then twitch happened so kind of put that on the the side burner you got a bunch of education what'd you get yeah so i have a bachelor's in mechanical engineering and a master's in finance oh that's awesome man yeah i a nice high school diploma. Yeah.

That I barely earned. So in six and a half years. They gave it to me to get you out of the door. They didn't want me there anymore. No. No, everybody had that like, like retarded kid at school who you could tell. It was like, no, they're, they're feeding him answers to get him the hell out of this class. Nobody wants Joe in the class anymore.

It was close. We have that in the class anymore. It was close. I think that would have been you, Kyle. Yeah. So you just did some independent work, finished up school. You're a younger guy, probably earlier 20s, mid-20s? 25. Oh, you're fucking set, man.

Jesus Christ, streaming 12 hours a day. You got probably 10,000 subs. You're good. Do you have any time at all for outside of twitch hobbies at this point because i would imagine with your schedule all your friends have to be like oh yo we're going out and getting beers we're going out and you know grabbing lunch ah no sorry i have to play 12 hours of this game for the seventh time this week wake up go to the gym and then right on and then go to sleep do the same thing over that's pretty much my is it really is it have you taken any significant breaks yet like is it weighing on

you or are you kind of just still in that riding high i've not taken a day off of streaming since i started it's been every day some days are shorter but it's been every day i've done this ride bro i uploaded videos over a thousand days in a row it's probably been like close to 4 000 hours since december 1st streaming yeah yeah and some days wasn't even a year 12 hours almost every day but there have been some of those days mixed in where you went like 20 hours or 24 hours and stuff like that uh there was uh when they so they did like a big wipe in tarkov right it was like the first few days it was like i streamed like 63 out of 72 hours of like three days so it's i slept like nine hours in three days i think you were racing to kappa right i feel like

no one said they were racing but clearly there's's a race happening. Everyone was doing it, yeah. I think that month I streamed almost 420 hours. It was like 419 hours, I think. So much time. Why are you working so much? Right? You can't have trouble feeding yourself. Is it because you think this doesn't last forever?

Is it just more in, get more out? I'm sorry, say that again. Streaming is like the more time you put in, the more you get this doesn't last forever? Is it just more in, get more out? I'm sorry, say that again. Streaming is like the more time you put in, the more you get out of it, right? So there's like a direct correlation between the hour streamed and the time you spend live in front of the camera and like what you get.

It's definitely true. Well, I mean, you figured out the formula right away because throwing up 12 hours a day right off the bat, that'll do it. I didn't realize, I guess, you figured out the formula right away because throwing up 12 hours a day right off the bat, that'll do it. I didn't realize, I guess, until now that you started that late. Like Kyle and Woody had said he was an overnight success. I'm sure overnight success is it's only – it's never truly overnight. You were grinding, I'm sure, really hard.

But goddamn, 4,000 hours in the last 11 months. It's got to be close to that. You probably have streamed more than anyone on Twitch in the last 11 months. It's got to be close to that. You probably have streamed more than anyone on Twitch in the last year as far as raw amount of time, excluding those ones where it's like, hey, look at my fish tank and it's 24-7 and no one's watching. What the hell is that about?

But other than them, you're probably up there, man. Got to be close, right? Yeah. Does Twitch give out medals like YouTube? They should. I don't think they do. I don't think I qualify for any medals no no best kazoo uh that's didgeridoo on on my stream yeah uh they they banned my trump emotes though so they didn't like that well they didn't like my epstein emotes either

those were in very good taste they were funny none of those emotes were in good taste they were all in good good taste i told you guys about this last my gong comes in four days i'm excited about it so landmark i'm sure you get this like somebody donates whatever three dollars and you say hey thank you then some other guy comes in and drops eight ten times that or more you know maybe 50 maybe 50 gifted subs. Yeah. And what do you do? Say thank you 50 times in a row. I felt like I didn't appropriately acknowledge that that was a bomb. So I bought a $500 gong to hang from my pull-up bar. Very high tea.

I'm so in favor of this. That is a Kyle idea. Yes. Welcome. Thank you. Kyle's an idea. I would have never suggested you went for the 500 dollar gong we were talking about it in the chat and and me woody and kyle and kyle's like the gong

idea and i'm like oh that's hilarious i'm gonna look at gongs and woody's like let me have the gong thing you took the slide whistle the kadoo the didgeridoo leave something i'm taking all of the eccentric instruments it was was like the $15 idea when it was born. I made the mistake of choosing the gong on a live stream and they're all like, bigger, bolder, bigger. Now he's getting the same gong

that Tibetan temples have. They know their gongs better than anyone. They are the gong. I think they do know their gongs better than anyone. Where else have you ever seen a gong even other than like a an asian restaurant i guess that's that's it taylor that's it go next level twenty five hundred dollar church bell this is a full-size liberty bell reconstruction just obscenely loud yeah no the little gimmicky parts of streams are fun but

but i suppose if you're into like grinding and working really hard what you do is also good landmark yeah that's another way to do it that's another approach that's another approach so it seems like you were a really avid shooter prior to this because there's no way you've accumulated all that in the last year i used to shoot a lot i don't get any time to lately but i miss it did you do any competitions i know kyle used to do those three gun things and no i never done any of that more just like for hobby but okay yeah what's your pretty competitively you know so when i'm there i'm like kind of practicing doing my thing what kind of shooting do you like to do like like like uh bench rest stuff or three gun stuff or sporting clays or just close range like fast drills oh cool okay just getting like a bay with some targets and you know run drills and

stuff mostly close range i don't do any long range shooting it's hard to find a place to do that you know yeah it's uh even three hours or know somebody that has like their own place yeah i was always pretty fortunate that people would volunteer ranges for me but um before that like my dad's place i've got about 600 yards to shoot so i kind of grew up shooting about 600 as a as a maximum but it's hard to find a thousand yard range i did a three gun competition about two years ago. Me and my friend entered, he got last place and still managed to beat me.

It was fun to see this. I don't know if you've ever been to a three gun competition, but they have these like $5,000 shotguns that hold eight or 10 rounds in them. And, and they're pretty cool. I've got this home defense shotgun with the flashlight still on it it was so out of place um but i got disqualified it wasn't a safety violation but um i didn't realize i had steel tipped ammo and uh oh i forgot this yeah did it spark or not spark but it sparked it's yeah like, bling, bling, bling.

I'm having a decent run. Not great, but you know, felt like I was going to finish bottom third, but not last. And the guy just got really mad at me. And I felt so embarrassed I didn't realize it was steel tip.

I've done that before too. It wasn't my fault, honestly, because somebody else handed me the the magazine but we're in an indoor range with a full auto uh fal and it was like here but see if you can hang on to this and i see that as a personal challenge so i'm trying to get every round on the target at like 15 meters and i'm just really locked that thing down. Nail the target. But then when the smoke clears, the target is fucked because I just put 20 rounds of steel

tip 308 into their very expensive steel target. Were you reprimanded? No, fuck no. They weren't going to say shit to me. He's FPS Russia, but I am not. They were like, I'm going to hang on to that target. It was the owner that handed me the magazine so he it was his fault i bought cheap 556 on the internet and i just didn't realize it was steel tip but when all the other competitors saw it i

guess it wasn't painted like steel tip normally is and uh they were like it's not his fault this isn't properly marked if it was probably marked i might have still fucked it up, but I did have an excuse. Yeah, but good stuff. Yeah, that's a, that's, that's fun. Ammo. That's a, that's fun to shoot stuff with. It just, I mean, it's steel tip. It goes through stuff.

Kind of made it less fun that day. Yeah. That had to be a little embarrassing. Was there a moment where like somebody went, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. That was it. There was like, um, so in in the three gun competition there's like a safety guy there who's only a few inches away like always ready to sort of take your gun or tackle you or who knows what his plan is and uh when he saw it sparking he just started yelling and you know i don't know if he touched my shoulders or what but like like I felt really bad. And I, I was hyper focused on sort of safety stuff.

Cause that's really embarrassing. It's okay to miss the target. It's not okay to muzzle sweep the competitors. So I was really on that. And when he got mad at me, I was like kind of processing, like, I know I didn't like,

I know that I didn't do this. And then when I found out it was the ammo, I hadn't even considered it might be steel tipped. I'm sure you're not the first person to do that. No, you're, you're definitely not. I mean,

I felt like I was, I've heard, I've heard some stories about stuff like that, especially like gun stores, people like bringing in loaded guns and stuff and like shooting the counter. Oh yeah. I've, I've seen that happen.

I saw the, uh, the guy behind the counter. I know've seen that happen i saw the uh the guy behind the counter i know somebody that was there when it happened and they're like yeah in the store we're like yeah whatever happens all the time like i'm not coming back here yeah a friend of mine whose name i will never ever give away uh uh he was showing a customer he worked there he was showing a customer pistol and he fucking shot the counter. He fucking shot the counter, knocked the glass out.

You could see where the, the nine millimeter round hit, like the, the metal framing of the counter then took a turn, went into the fucking wall. And, uh, I was like,

and he's like shaking, telling me this story at his, in his lunch break. I'm like, so did they buy the pistol? No, they, uh, they left, they left right after that. He took the care to demo the pistol? No, they left.

They left right after that. After he took the care to demo the pistol for them, the ungrateful bastards. He should have played it off. And as you can see, it'll go right through glass. It appears it goes through denim and five quads. It's not even that loud indoors, as you can see. Perfect home defense handgun.

Yeah, there's a lot of gun horror stories. I've never had anything bad happen. Not really. You almost died from that car door. Yeah. Everyone's seen that. He's like, eh, no big deal. That was like a calculated risk.

I mean, yeah, but at the same time, I didn't get hurt. Dude, at the time, I could have never guessed how much it would impact my financial future had you died. You're welcome. Thank God for me. You know, see, or think about

how much you would have made that day. Think about how much more money you would have made if I had just been badly maimed and so i was really fucked up sitting over here and i couldn't tell jokes anymore so you really had to fill that space you got a lot more air time if i just been maimed and me and woody have to sit here and you're like why did the jigging cross the road tell us what's up buddy what's up yeah oh oh good what did you hear that? What's up? Oh, good.

What did you hear that? Oh, it's so great. Sometimes it seems like Kyle's still here. I need my nurse. On camera shitting yourself. I mean, that's when I need you to come and like put the pistol in my hand and walk away. I refuse to push you into the pool because I'm making so much money. I'm putting blocks on your wheels, like a truck to keep you in place.

Please Taylor, let this dark nightmare end. You pushed me into the shallow end for lols and i'm just sitting pruney what is that device they put on cars when they're in like a tow away zone oh the oh the boot the boot will put one on his wheelchair you guys gotta let me go if i get maimed that was always my thing whenever we do something super stupid like fuck with a vietnam era flamethrower that was clearly leaking fuel i was just like scott scott's my cousin cameraman trust most most trusted associate i'm like scott and he's wearing a 1911 on his side i'm like look if i burst into flames and i mean fully engulfed and i'm all melted and shit you gotta shoot me in the

fucking head dude you gotta shoot me in the head and look just put the pistol in my hand everybody will lie for you just just you gotta put me down could you even do that if you were like i got you bro i went shooting once with kyle and wings and the topic came up of shooting like an apple out of kyle's hand and he's like i'd let you do it and I'm like your faith is misplaced Kyle I'm not going to do this this is a terrible idea we got 50 50 odds of keeping that hand I said I'd let you do it off of a bench press a bench rest like I wouldn't let you stand yeah I've um I've had stuff shot out of my hands a few times and I always pick someone who I

very much trusted I won't say who they are, but they're like professional shooters or YouTubers. Um, you know, and I'd, I'd hold something up, uh, like usually a melon, like a small melon, maybe half the size of your head. And I'd let them shoot that out of my hand. And, uh, I've held paper targets many times and had people just, you know, put, put a whole pattern on them. And I've like turned, returned the favor. I've, i've shot a lot of stuff out of people's hands with with handguns and with rifles um but yeah i'd let you shoot something out of my hand if you were propped up i i don't know if i'd want to want you to go you got too much faith in people yeah we could just not do that and everything would be fine yeah i mean you know what'd you say taylor i said you got lots of mannequins still for the hand thing.

They didn't take those. They didn't take my mannequin supply. I have all of them. Wouldn't that have been an insult to injury? Like, ah, we're taking the clown, too. You want to talk about insult to injury? I had those. There was this company that made these, like, werewolf kits.

And in the kit, you like a wooden uh steak for vampires and you had silver bullets for werewolves and then there might have been something else in there i guess i guess technically the silver bullets also work for zombies and they they sold this little package it was like the the zombie vampire um werewolf um werewolf like pack you know it was just a little gag gift. But it came with, maybe there was even a crucifix in there. But when you took the wooden stake and you twisted the thing on the back of it, the silver bullets slid out, these.357 Magnum silver bullets.

So the guy from the ATF came to my house like five or six days later after the raid. And he was like, we're just bringing these back. And he's returning the stakes minus the bullets. So they took your silver bullets. They took my silver. And I'm just like, I'm completely unprepared for werewolves. Are you fucking kidding? What if the werewolves come?

Now I can, I guess I'm good on vampires but it was such a such insult to injury he brought all those fucking wooden stakes back did you check inside for the bullets or did he inform you that now munitions from inside they were they were still in the package i was using them for like fan giveaways on facebook i had like the company had sent me like 50 of them or something like that so i was so he they were he had opened the packages clearly and taken out my goddamn silver bullets what an asshole super asshole i know that guy's name he's a real piece of shit piece of shit but those are the real bullets right they weren't novelty bullets oh yeah they were 357 magnum silver bullets oh Coated. They weren't solid. That would get expensive, I guess. Well, I think

you only need a tiny bit of silver to get the job done. Just a little bit kills werewolves, as everyone knows. You're right. Werewolves. My mistake. Mistakes? That's vampires. I need to get my lore on point. And garlic.

Holy water? I don't know if that would work. I'm light. Wait, it works. The only time I've seen holy water employed is when it's used in a movie and the demon will always like, be like,

yeah, you have no power here. Like the holy water never gets anything done. It just seems to hurt him a little bit. It seems like it's hot. Yeah. That's always makes me wonder like is there a limit to the amount of blessings they should just have a fucking super

soaker full of holy water because they always only have about half an ounce yeah and it's like and then they'll sprinkle on them and it'll burn and then they're like all right well that's the end of that it's like no you got like a whole basin of that back of the church i don't understand how that works could they not just bless the Pacific Ocean? No, I mean, God would notice that level of cheatery, but they could do like an Olympic pool or something like that. They'd get away with it in Tarkov, I think. Would they? The anti-cheat's a little weak.

I'm the only one of us who doesn't play Tarkov. Do you stream anything else or are you solely Tarkov guy? I played Call of Duty yesterday. It's 99% Tarkov. Okay. Every once in a while, something else. So that other 1% is hundreds of hours of other games. No, not really.

It's all pretty much Tarkov. So is the move, better yet, you stream games outside of Tarkov, right? Is that like an intentional kind of career move to be a variety streamer? I think that's where you want to be, right? That's where everybody wants to be. Yeah, I mean, that's like the spot to be on Twitch, right? You can put anything on the screen and people will tune in. Ideally, people aren't coming for Tarkov.

They're coming for Landmark. It doesn't matter if you're playing Minesweeper, which is also cool when you get like a sponsored deal or something and yeah you know that people just yeah you you need that summit loyalty where you could just play checkers and they're like all right checkers day let's go let's go yeah i mean that's that's that's the ideal move but i mean have you uh of the game so have you played any Among Us yet? No I have not. Are you interested at all? Argument Simulator

I also call it Argument Simulator It plays with us. We did it last night Really? Taylor Mirko on Twitch It was very fucking It was very funny That's Lane Booty's gamer tag on Twitch It was very funny Everybody That's lame when he's gave me a tag on Twitch. It was very funny.

Everybody got real... It was hilarious. People were getting upset. I made it my goal to kill Taylor as soon as possible. And you did it really successfully. I was getting frustrated by the end. It was my first time playing. You kept coming after me.

Yeah, exactly. It was easier to come after you because it was your first time playing. So I did that. Taylor, you weren't a good partner. No. I agree, but you weren't a good partner either. No, I was. Because what?

You didn't keep up. So we're getting hammered and just destroyed. And so we're like, all right, we're just going to hang out the entire game. And I was whipping through my leaf simulator my my my wire reconstruction and i would assume you're right on my tail and then i followed him around like a puppy for 15 minutes or so and when i realized this was a really one-sided relationship i found a better battle buddy yeah and how did that game turn out we won again me and my new battle buddy won like eight of the next ten. That game is a ton of fun.

I will admit it was frustrating that I think I even said it on the stream. Kyle, it felt like you were like the Senate majority leader where every time it would end Kyle would be like, alright! Taylor again! And everybody would be like, whoa! This is retarded.

Well, we were playing with my friend group that I play with every night. So I may have had just a little bit more pull than you did with them, Taylor. Nah, that game's all politics. I would have won even more. I won my first time as the imposter. That was pretty impressive.

Even if they don't think it's you, then I can sort of do that thing like, hey, come on, it'll be funny. Let's lynch him. Come on, hang him high, boys. Let's get him. And everybody would just of do that thing like hey come on it'll be funny let's lynch him come on hang him high boys let's get him and everybody must be like yeah you know it would be funny to kill taylor for no fucking reason at all let's just do it and i would get called out for nonsense and they'd be like what were you doing on the east wing and it's like fixing the leaf shoot they're like that's not where that game is and it's like well then fuck

you man i don't know where the games are one when you click the hexagons was it the one where you where you fill up gas there were several times when taylor didn't commit to his lies either you know they're like you know where was where were you i was in engineering where's engineering on the side ah well fuck i guess you caught me in that lie then it's like yeah there was one there was one well it's really difficult to lie when you don't know the rooms you don't know the tasks and you're figuring the game out you don't know which way to lie that's when you oh. There was one. Well, it's really difficult to lie when you don't know the rooms, you don't know the tasks, and you're figuring the game out. You don't know which way to lie. That's when you play dumb. I've won several games playing dumb.

You did. You really pushed it to the edge playing dumb. Dude, but this is my favorite part. Woody played so dumb, I was like, he's playing dumb. He's not this dumb. This is retarded levels. They were like, Woody, where were you? And he's like, I don't know where I am now.

And then the very next game, Taylor told the same lie, did the same dumb act about the same question. And the whole lobby was like, yeah, it checks out. That's about how dumb Taylor is. See, you got to have everyone constantly underestimating you or in the case of fall guys accurately estimating me you know i'm only one once there but there was there was some definitely shady shit going on in among us last night too because there was at least one time that i recall there was other shit not saying you kyle i was saying that at one point i was the imposter and I was lying. And someone said, Taylor just smiled when he lied.

He was watching my fucking stream as it was going on. I don't remember. That was like in the last hour or so of the vibe. That definitely happened. Someone on the call said that on the call was like, Oh, Taylor's smiling. He's laughing.

All right. So that's super shitty. If he did that, that's super shitty. It did that. That's super shitty. It sounds like to his credit maybe that what he was doing was he just wanted to see your pretty face while he played and he was not looking at your chat

or your gameplay. I'm giving him that benefit of the doubt. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe he's just a scumbag piece of shit because you both are just like, nah, he's a fucking asshole. I just don't believe this narrative where he's, like, what, moved his browser to only show the bottom center of the stream? I'm the best of them.

There's no way he'd watch just his face. Oh, if I ever saw lines of, oh, it's Woody. Oh, it's Kyle. In my chat last night, it was 100% false information. Yeah. We put my chat in emotes only. My mods were helping me that way so yeah now every so

often it'd be like al dawn al dawn al dawn and i'm like what am i supposed to take from this is it taylor there's a whole lot of owls in my chat yeah you've got you've had your own issues with stream snipers landmark and everyone does i think that you have extra issues though because of your sort of uh championing the anti-cheat uh stuff i think that you have triggered a community of cheaters before it happened before it happens to everyone it's not just me yeah everyone gets it i guess i mostly watch you but i just see you have the have those issues and it really frustrate i can't imagine how it feels for you because i know you love playing labs yeah well i mean do you ever get like 11 hours in and someone stream snipes you

and you just want to lose it like you're you're just furious lose it i mean sometimes it's fun you seem to know it brings it brings more action sometimes but it does get annoying i mean it's like it's a tough game when people know what you're doing because they can just wait for you sit in a bush and just shoot you in the head out of nowhere but uh sometimes it's fun you know brings a lot of action to the game i was playing call duty with uh some cod streamers the other day and their stream snipers are fucking crazy man like you you land we'd fly in and there'd be 20 people just running at you right off the spawn guys would be crashing trucks into you like they they just they bring it

on and you're just fighting the entire server like right off the bat yeah in games like that it's not that bad i remember that used to happen a lot in pub g like shroud would land at school and it's like pretty guys drop on his head he'd look up and the sky is full like the whole fucking server's there there's 60 people landing on school and he's just and and as a viewer i'm just i'm pumped i'm like holy shit shroud's gonna fight 60 people in the fucking school right now. Win or lose, it's going to be epic. But in a game like Tarkov, when there's so much to lose. Yeah, you just take a bullet in the head out of nowhere.

That's no fun. But if you have people running at you, trying to fight you, then I'm cool with it. Yeah, it's definitely a double-edged sword. I quit playing Tarkov early in this current wipe. I played a ton in the previous wipe not by your standards by any means i got like to 50 million rubles or something like that and i was just like all right i'm gonna wait till next wipe and the next wipe happened and there

was the weight changes and the the flea market changes and yeah that wasn't uh the kind of game that i like playing so i switched to some other stuff but i don't know i i i love the kind of game that I liked playing. So I switched to some other stuff, but I don't know. I, I, I love the idea of Tarkov. I like the, uh, I like the looting aspect of it and the currency aspect of it.

I, I loved the flea market, uh, in the game. Cause what I would do is I'd get on early before my friends and I'd start running shoreline for Ledex. I get two or three Ledex and now I've got enough money to like play with my big dick friends all night yeah there's been a lot of changes in the game i mean they're always working on it but you know every wipe it's like they test some new thing so it's

always different i think every wipe has kind of like a different feel you play mostly solos is that because you prefer it or because you think it's better streaming content uh i kind of both i mean it's definitely better streaming content right like you can talk to chat more i don't have to like have two separate conversations going on one like distracting you keeping track of what your teammates doing but also it's like if you're solo and you get lucky enough to find everyone in the, in the raid, you can kill them all. Right? No,

you can't. I've tried it. It's not a thing. You can kill them all. I mean, like, like you get the action. It brings the action. So you can get those crazy raids where you kill everybody.

Yeah. It never happened. Yeah. I had trouble making it through a window in Call of Duty using WazD. The level of my gaming skill. Taylor is a bit new to PC gaming,

and so he plays a lot of games that allow him to use his controller. And we hate it. Gotta get used to the mouse and keyboard, man. In fairness, you are supposed to use it for Fall Guys. Did you use it for Among Us? No, Among Us I was using WASD.

Because it's just, I mean, that's so silly. Like that, even I can handle that. Hey, experience is experience. That'll assist you 1% when you get to cod you should play it's a cod i won't make it to tar cod those games too kyle talks about needing to put chapstick on fuck that no no i'm not playing the chapstick game i'm not gonna pamper my ass i'm not gonna take vitamin c in the morning and my fiber gummies before lunch this game is absurd. Lower the amount of ridiculousness. Just give me bullets and make it easy.

Oh, that's pretty accurate. Except for the vitamins. There's two kinds of chapstick in that game. There's two kinds of chapstick. Are you a real life traditionalist? You a Vaseline man? Yeah, there's a lot going on in that game. I think if you play an RPG

or something like that, that would get you so much WASD experience. If you just played something like Dead Space or Bioshock even or an Elder Scrolls game. I'd love to jump in and do Skyrim again. I think that would be good for it. You know there's a mod so that you can play Skyrim with another person now called Skyrim Together.

Oh, fuck. That'll make it so much better. You can play like two-player fucking Skyrim. Let can play Skyrim with another person now called Skyrim Together. Oh, fuck. That'll make it so much better. You can play two-player fucking Skyrim. Let's play Skyrim together. I'll play it. I gotta figure out how to do the mod. There's a whole subreddit called Skyrim Together. They've been working on it for years and years, but I saw a video of it last...

Actually, like two nights ago. Yeah, it's called Skyrim Together. I think it's wildly unbalanced. You're muted. Yeah. My bad. Sorry. I forgot that I took the advice of chat and was like, hey, you should make a hotkey for your mute macro.

I didn't realize I hit that. So basically, you're saying it's overpowered meaning that it's two people fighting the same strength bosses as it originally was for one because i haven't i haven't watched enough of it to know but just just seeing two fucking uh what are they called the shavokit what's the guy called like yeah the dovahkiin is that it isn't that it right you'd be the one to know this lord he goes like like, no, he doesn't do Hadouken. That's a different guy. Hadouken.

Yeah, he goes Hadouken. That's what it is. It's just a game with the Dragon Balls. You're right. Yeah, and that one guy with the Sub-Zero, he's in it. Sub-Zero, Scorpion, they're all in Skyrim. And he goes, get over here. Pokemon, he's there.

This is all ringing a bell. And there's the hedgehog. It's blue. And there's Gimli and the rest of the Fellowship. That's our favorite games. I got a question. So we know you've got a foot pedal for cancelling the alerts. Yeah.

Does the foot pedal have three buttons? Yes. What do the other two do? One of them is now foruting discord which i was going to suggest and the other one's unused right now oh the world joister for that final pedal what are you gonna do i don't know we'll find a use for it i know the one what he was raving about so you just do i'll do a lot of other streamers do that or is that a landmark did you think of that with the pedal to turn it off?

I was like, you know what? I need something. Dude, I would never turn on text to speech. It would be pretty cool if I could just smack my foot on something. It's nice. Stay focused on the game, yeah. Yeah. You could probably use it for gaming, too.

I could see that being pretty useful, like leaning in games. Yeah, that's what i always considered doing with it getting the the pedals where you've got two that are completely separate and putting the lean in uh in tarkov on those i'm too uncoordinated for that though you have to be a drummer to do that i think it would feel a little bit more real because look at this nonsense okay got him he's got it i can't remember what what do your pedals do woody uh so i was kind of asking landmark for advice so one of them's uh canceling the alert uh sometimes people are fun and they just write like 777 or ll you know the deal uh sometimes people are not fun

and the donations talk about like my wife and children and you know so so we needed an alert cancel that off real quick yeah um and then one was set to mute but it didn't work like i thought it would it was muting like me the chat the music the game like so i undid that and the other was set to play i think it still is set to play and pause music the other one I think you set up to delete your browsing history. That would be a great idea. Immediately. Just stomp on the pad. I wasn't always turning music on between raids and now it's that much easier. You don't have a hotkey

on your keyboard for that? Not that I know of. Yeah, I just have a play pause button. Just press that. Everyone always asks me. That's one of the most commonly asked things. How do you hotkey spotify i'm like i just have a button on my keyboard that does it i don't uh taylor when you were a kid did you have to like share a family computer yeah did you when nobody was around and around and you looked up some pornography and then you'd have to go in and delete the browsing history. Oh, yeah.

Did you then do what I did and go back and put in a fraudulent browsing history so that it wouldn't be nothing? Yes, I would. I remember, I think at the time, I guess I was maybe like 12 when we still had just the family computer there. I was really genuinely 11 or 12 into family like into paintball and so I would go down there when like my mom and dad or whoever were like hey we're gonna go to your brother's soccer game you want to go and it's like no I'm gonna stay here and uh beat off like I'm gonna stay here and read the bible or something that's funnier than the last one and they would leave and it was just like oh the world is my oyster time for me to to download

very slow loading jpegs and they always realize oh that's not worth blowing a load on okay next next and then i go back in afterward after you clear it and i would just search in like paintball paintball gun cool paintball gun red paintball gun electric just fill it up with nonsense like if my parents were computer savvy enough they'd be like all of these searches were made at 5 41 all of them like really doing a lot in that minute but in that in that post orgasm like moment, I was always so stupid. I couldn't think of a website. I'm just looking at objects around the room. I'm just like, Coca-Cola.com.

Pepsi-Cola.biz. Next time someone starts putting something into the browser, it needs to have suggestions pop up below it. But because of non-pop-up, you're going to notice that. So I'm just like, ah, I need to look up – I need to go to a bunch of different websites really quickly. I guess there's probably something called boots.com. That's got to exist.

That's got to exist. Try to fill that in. Didn't one of you try to print out your porn? Oh, yeah. I remember that. Talking about that. That's got to exist. Try to fill that in. Didn't one of you try to print out your porn? Oh, yeah. I remember that. Talking about that. That was super lame. I never did that.

Who did it? You say Filthy did it? Destiny did that. He talked about printing off some pornographic photo and it taking forever. I never got Paulie enough to try and print one, but I would definitely. I remember I got caught because of a random pop-up one point i was like upstairs watching family guy or something and my mom was like taylor were you looking at pornography on the computer i got a very very lewd pop-up or something like

yes i was using the look at porn and and then come to find out later it was like just a generic boner pill ad. Oh no. And I bit the bullet for no reason. So didn't even get... Deny, deny, deny, Taylor. Deny, deny, deny. This is why you lost every Among Us game. There you go.

There you go. Always the computer room smells so bleachy. It's the sort of innate honesty that holds you back. I need to be a better liar to be better. Yeah, it was it was a sad time in the world of pornography, like 1999, when like the very idea of printing pornography would even come to your mind. You know what ink that used? Oh, yeah. That picture probably cost $85.

How about you, Landmark? Did you ever sneak porn? On your parents' computer? Everyone has. What are you talking about? Yeah. Did you ever get caught? Not that i know

maybe they were just cool enough not to like probably i have pretty cool parents not to throw it in your face like that pretty cool so yeah i probably got caught and i don't know i think every man's childhood like everyone who grew up in that age yeah that was a dark time because like internet speed was just you have your own cell phone now of course everyone does you have your iphone ipad dude i can't imagine how much more fucked up i'd be if i had this at like 11 yeah you guys had it easy deleting your browser history i mean back in my day we had to own pornography in physical form. Playboys, penthouses, penthouse letters, hypothetically. And we had a maid clean the house, and she ratted me out.

She told my mom. Yeah, but my mom was cool with it. I didn't even know until much later. I think we lived in a different house at that point. People don't know my parents are fucking sexual champions they they procreated a little level that no one knows and and uh when they found my porn they were just like start training woody you know you got big shoes to fill i'm just pretty amateur stuff son I'm not going to admit looks like a lot of single penetration

wow look at look at that one man and one woman look at this honey cute huh he'll learn he's only 10 did you see that porn what he was looking at what a vanilla loser I feel like I failed as a father

it was just a white man and a white woman i don't know they look happy they look happy both of them both of them no no no no thank you no i love the stories of your parents fucking because it's it's so strange no one in my life i've ever met had the experience you did woody where you're like yeah i would hear my parents fucking in the other room and it was like a jokey thing oh yeah i'd make fun of them you know like i'd repeat they'd be like you didn't really hear did you and then i'd be like oh stan oh stan you're wonderful i repeat the compliments that she did the night before no and it's like yeah i guess he did here

oh that's some scarring shit not for me i heard a bed spring i'd leave the house dude it's a it's an alternative like growth thing it uh like i always knew that my parents were bonded that way like i think other people are like oh my god parental sex to me i knew that my parents were a tight unit because they fucked so much oh she was a tight unit yes and i tell you your mother's like the day i brought her home dude i heard this right so she had the babies and then the doctor put that like extra stitch in i guess that's a thing they used to do to tighten her up extra this i if you guys need to know anything about my mother's pussy i'm here for you yeah what's it called it's called like the husband stitch or something like that i've heard i think that is what it's called yeah it's very frowned upon these days almost as much

as female genital mutilation there is no way it's as frowned upon as that i said almost you're underestimating how tight my mom was i mean there's some upsides to this she needed three or four stitches. Apparently. Your dad's over there smoking a cigar. Like keep going. You want me to finish up for you? What's your problem, Nancy?

Welcome to the show landmark. Thanks for doing it. Yeah. I'm just old enough to have like come in at the have come in at the end of the physical pornography and getting into the beginning of the digital pornography. So I had one pornographic VHS tape that I had found in a junkyard of all places. We were in a junkyard. Yeah, Taylor's loving it. That is so white trash. It's not white trash. It's literally trash. I had found in a junkyard of all places. We were in a junkyard. Yeah. Taylor's loving it. It's so white trash. Literally trash.

What do you mean? We were rebuilt. We, we, we, we rebuilt a lot of old cars. We would find like late sixties Camaros and stuff. And then we'd soup them up and paint them and do all the body work.

So we were in a junkyard of, of cars. And I would like mess around and like search the cars because sometimes there'd be cars that just had had accidents so there'd be like blood in the seats and like um like people they would leave their change in there and to like 11 12 year old me i'm like shit that's eight dollars worth of change in there let's go he's dead anyway you can see from the blood and so i'd go search through these cars and i found this vhs tape that said give me head of course as a kid i didn't know what head was so i was very confused a free vhs yeah free vhs i

got it home i think there was like triple x on the bottom like so i i had some inkling and i got that thing home and i was like aha i have 90 minutes of grainy blowjob footage here where am i gonna hide this tape that's that you hide this treasure this treasure and so i i went through some indiana jones shit where i'm like in the basement putting it up into a cinder block and then wedging a stick into the cinder block for it to like sit on and just every time i'm home alone i'm just like fiddling around in there the tape drops into my hands i'm like it's go time just there was not i'm right at that my cousin had uh had magazines that he had stolen from his father and i just remember being like that's super lame like like the magazine seems so mean the still images weren't doing it for you. Well, I had a VHS.

He did. You were living high. At one point, my father was forced to throw away his. I don't know why he threw away his magazine. Maybe it was because my brother and I were coming of age, but somehow we saw them in the trash can. And guys, I don't know how many magazines it was, like three and a half feet of magazines, like all stacked on top of each other in the content. I don't know why. I guess we just I felt like I could only hide so much.

So I like look through them all as quickly and covertly as I could picked out the best like seven. I don't know. And I kept those for myself. And my friends got second choice magazines that you could have looked at them been like you know what she might be dead now wow miss 1948 yeah i don't think i ever had magazines with porn in it i I had a, there was one paintball magazine I got and it was called like 88 paintball or something.

And it was just in that stupid little rack where my mom like take me to CVS and be like, just get something. I'd grab that. I remember just once I randomly got it and they had like every four pages was just a borderline naked woman holding a paintball gun. And I was like, this is the perfect crime.

So it's such a good idea i had so many 88 paintball magazines and it's just like i just love fucking paintball man wow they're all turned to the same pages over and over it doesn't seem like you're reading any articles about the uh new tipman yeah the new tipman a5 cyclone feed hopper or whatever it was come on I had pokemon cards too but I didn't beat off to them yeah sicko

when I was a kid magic the gathering oh I love magic the gathering I still play if you want to see your viewership plummet, stream it. Oh, there you go. For me at least, that's how it is.

Yeah, Taylor introduced me to Magic the Gathering a few years ago, and honestly, I really like it. It's a fun card game. It's great. It doesn't make any sense to me. It's got to do something, right? Yeah. It's got to be, what, 30 years old?

20-something years old? Oh, at least. It's probably older than The Simps something, right? Yeah. It's got to be, like, what, 30 years old? 20-something years old? Oh, at least. It's probably older than the Simpsons, I would bet. And the Simpsons is older than I am. What doesn't make sense to you, Woody? Well, okay. I've invested minutes in trying to learn this game. And people are like, okay, I'm going to tap the card.

And I'm like, what? That doesn't really do anything. It's a card. Then they turn it, and then there's, like that's not a word i know um i don't know the whole thing i just i yeah you're tapping cards to indicate that you have like used them yeah it's just to show that that card is no longer usable for a function until the next turn but the card didn't change they You literally tap it by turning it. If it turns this way...

They should really call it twisting the card. Yeah, that'd be cooler. You can call it whatever you want. I'm twisting my cards, boys! You know, it's pretty straightforward when you sit down and actually play. I learned and I was incredibly high. And I figured it out pretty quick.

Yeah. We were all stoned to shit and we all got it done. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good game. I like it. I don't know where my cards are, but I have far, far too many. Not my cards aren't as nice as yours, but they are much more plentiful.

I have, I must have 4,000 cards somewhere. Landmark. Have you ever gone to like tournaments for it or like little Friday night magics or just friends? Friends. I was have 4,000 cards somewhere. Landmark, have you ever gone to tournaments for it? Or Friday Night Magics? Or just friends? I was never serious. I just saw the haircut my wife gave me. It's not good, chat.

Oh, shit! I had no idea! Oh, no! Dude, you look like... Come on, baby, you gotta blend that shit in! Dude, that's like the back of Simple Jack's head. I only saw it from the front, it seemed fine. My, my, my, my, my wife!

Don't go there! Good, good, good, good! Yeah, that's terrible. She just jacked you up. She did. It's so bad. I did a better job cutting my own hair. You're a billionaire! But I saved $20.

He could have easily had a person come over with fancy gear, like a straight razor on the back of his neck instead he's like honey yeah get the clippers no no no not the good ones the dog just go at it no no not so gentle like you're angry with me you gotta touch this up or something. You don't like my hair owes you money. You don't like my hair like it owes you money. And you know what? She had to walk in the room to bring you that coffee. She saw that

atrocity, that war crime the whole way. I just imagine her like scratching the back of your neck and be like, oh, it's good. I'm like, hey, I need a coffee. Yeah, she knows what she did. Everybody does. Oh, man. How did you see that and think we're all done here this is nice that's that's tremendously bad for another person i mean i think my custom haircut

i gave myself as a joke on stream might is probably on par with you just did a number two across everything blended i did a little blending. I did a little blending. We need to go back and look at the tape. I need scissors. So what would you do for hair growth during quarantine? Just let it go long and shaggy. Just throw it out? Yeah, yeah. Let it go wild?

You know, I just push mine back, put some gel in it. It's so long right now, it comes down to here. I just brush it up there, and it stays there. You didn't go for the self-haircut? I did that as a kid, and it went very poorly. So, no, never again. Tried it once at five, now at 34, no dice. Nope.

I'm not giving it another go. I don't want the simple jack. It's working out great for me. Landmark, you're clearly going to get your hair done somewhere. You're not doing that yourself, are you? I just got a haircut yesterday. Yesterday I went and got one. What's it like to get a haircut now?

You wear a mask the whole time? You wear it while they cut your hair? It's absurd. I'm in Georgia. You have to hold it on your face when they cut your ears. I'm in Georgia, so the customer doesn't have to wear the mask but the the barberess does she wore uh she wore a mask and i had mine on she's like you're gonna have to take your mask off so i can get behind your ears and i'm like do i need to wear

the mask i mean you've got the mask she's like no i don't care and i just took that thing off and she cut my fucking hair did her mask cover her nose oh yeah of course of course you say of course i hadn't found a waitress in georgia whose mask covers her nose well that's true yeah i mean at least one out of five one out of six people are walking around with their nose hanging out from what i see yeah we should exterminate those people i don't know i don't know about that. I think we should probably not. If only there was a virus that would just do it for us. Oh, yeah. If only.

We need a plague. Slowly but surely. Yeah, I don't know why they can't just wear the fuck. Either wear it or don't. But don't do that half-ass shit where you're pretending to wear a mask and just get your fucking schnoz hanging out. I judge them hard when I see it. You know what?

I have the instinct from allergies where I want to take my mask off when I sneeze. Because you don't want... It seems gross to do that, but I've caught myself and been like, oh, no, this is the point. I do that quiet sneeze. I don't want all that goopy germs all over me i want to sneeze

you don't do the hold it in sneeze with a mask on that no i don't do that very well i feel like my eyes are gonna come out yeah i'm afraid of that sneeze i'm afraid i'm having brain aneurysm and and be paralyzed or something or you'll feel like that like stream of air that like comes out the corner of your eyes you sneeze out minute, you sneeze out your eyeballs? Wait, you... That happens to you, or are you just kidding like, oh, that would happen? I was just joking, if it's weird. I'm just goofing, man.

Nah. Nah. You pee yourself a little every time you sneeze. That's right. I don't do that that but it's probably the same thing like you know when people shoot milk out of their eye yeah it is yeah it's probably the same thing is that yeah that's super gross when people do that i saw a guy humans try to do that yeah you can like yeah you can like snort stuff up your nose and blow it out your eye oh yeah remember that

was a grade school trick kind of like it was the more impressive version of flipping your eyelids inside out which i hated i hate doing kids not a fan of that either that was disgusting i hated that everyone can get on board dude that guy at every school they're all fuck-ups at this point all of them all of the eyelid inside out people inside out eyelid man never made it in line they're all in prison yeah i met a few of them they're nice guys now they don't do anymore you know who's doing curiously well uh you guys won't have this but deadheads from my high school computer programmers and families and you know fuck's a deadhead like grateful dead yeah so again of course you're not old enough but uh i'm not old enough for these so what bands now do people follow from city to city like

fish maybe um dave matthews band i don't even know but but these guys would follow the grateful dead from city to city to city they'd virtually no income. They'd sell like grilled cheese sandwiches and shit like that and live outside. They're basically hippie hobos who follow the Grateful Dead. And yeah, so there are people in my high school who did it like in the summer or maybe just aspired to like identified with them. And, you know, that guy in high school whose identity revolves around pot uh doing well as a grown-up i was surprised yeah we got all of his hijinks out of the way when he was young yeah could be i'm buckling down now people they don't get it out of their system when they're young and

then they get old and they let loose a while yeah those are the best girls you see that in college sometimes a lot oh yeah you see it with a lot in college just girls in particular a little bit of freedom in college and you just go batshit crazy girls or guys or both you talking about landmark everyone okay yeah i think everybody wants like super super strict parents that like lock you down and then you get out you're like i could do whatever i want where'd you fall on that spectrum oh i i was hitting the books in college man okay i i wasn't a big partier i mean i went out i had fun but it was mostly like started to get good grades who put my i'm having trouble reading your face right now i'm seeing some smiles some insinuation of maybe a little more

fun behavior than you're letting on. I get my money's worth. Good. How's the degree? You know, you go, you get good grades. I think the most of it. Where'd you go to school? Is that private?

Yeah, it's private. Okay. Yeah. Probably for the best. Probably for the best. Yeah, you know, you'll get the internet detectives out there looking up yearbooks and shit.

That is the last four. I see them. I'm sorry. I saw Dead Air and I think Kyle and I are playing Dead Air Chicken. Yeah, I love these. I'm sorry. I saw Dead Air, and I think Kyle and I are playing Dead Air Chicken. Yeah, I love these.

I'm not afraid. Dead Air Chicken. Yeah, because when I hear it on the radio, I don't mind at all. I'm just like, oh, they're thinking something up right now. I like this. I like this. Let's see how long they'll take it. No, I don't like when they shoot you on the mic.

You think you'll keep growing up to growing up to like summit levels are you let me let me lay this out i don't even know how you get to that level i don't know this is the thought i had how big is summit i don't know i should know more for streaming i mean it's like 20 000 viewers or more stream on average probably in that in that ballpark mean, that's like a stadium of people watching you. That's crazy. He has 93,000 subscribers. What? That should be redistributed to the lower level streamers.

Someone's saying 31,000. Oh, based on his current subscriber count of 93,000. That's June 18th, 2020. I don't know. I just Googled. I don't know. I mean, that's not even on the list. Oh, and then I went to Twitch tracker and it's 31.

Yeah. Okay. Google live. Landmarks chat says 15,000. I don't know. Yeah. It's a lot of fucking subscribers. Nonetheless, I keep forgetting this is being streamed, but I like, uh, I like know yeah it's a lot of fucking subscribers nonetheless i keep forgetting this is being streamed but i like uh i like some it's a attitude though like when he was playing um

what's that fucking elder scrolls online and people are giving him shit he's like he's like stops playing all right we're gonna have to have a little come to jesus moment here boys i'm gonna play wherever the fuck i want to play and you're gonna fucking watch it and if you don't like it guess what you can fucking leave and everybody's just like yes we're sorry I like the other story you were like hey chat

look I'm not having fun either this is horrible this is a bad night for me he's like you're not enjoying watching guess what I'm not enjoying playing right now this fucking ogre keeps throwing fireballs at me and i can't dog jump i like and to the chat's credit i hated watching elder scrolls online i i did not like that

doesn't look fun i saw that uh microsoft bought bethesda and so now they own like so many game studios that a lot of cool shit could potentially happen yeah it's good news because the the biggest like potential thing for me is that microsoft owns obsidian and bethesda now um bethesda sort of outsourced fallout new vegas to obsidian had make it. And it is by far my favorite Fallout game. So I'm really hopeful that somehow, some way, they make Fallout New Vegas 2 or a similar type game with the Fallout property but made by Obsidian. I wish they would prioritize the Skyrim stuff.

I also, yeah, if they don't do what I just suggested, then it would be great if Microsoft was like, hey, you've got Skyrim playing on my refrigerator, my washing machine, and my phone. Could you just make Elder Scrolls VI? Get it the fuck over with? I disagree. Just keep porting Skyrim into more and more shit.

Skyrim's not done until it runs on a pregnancy test. It's true. You can't fuck up the next one. It's like Half-Life 3. Didn't it come out in 2011 or so? Does that sound right for Skyrim? 2010, 2011. It's been a decade. It's been years ago.

I'm not getting into Skyrim Online or Elder Scrolls Online. I don't want to walk into a city and see a wizard in cooler shit than me i want to be the only guy dressed to the to the rafters looking fantastic powerful as shit if i if i'm walking past other people who are like the true god of the game or like you know what i mean like i don't want to walk into white run and be one among many feeling like it's world of warcraft i want to be the the guy summoning ice storms right in the middle of the market you know and if everyone could do that it's not very fun i spent

so much time in those games i just want a new one i don't want to i almost went back and started playing a new skyrim the other day but i couldn't get my mods to work so i just gave up because i don't want to play Vanilla. The same thing with Fallout. I tried to play a modded version of Fallout 4 and for some reason the fucking frame rate is linked to the speed of your character in that game.

I'm getting 190 frames in the open world and my character is moving like Usain Bolt so I can't fucking play the game. I can't figure out how to cap the game to 60 frames anymore. Of course, indoors I'm getting 45 frames.

No, it's the opposite. It's indoors I'm getting a ton of frames and outdoors I'm getting like 45 frames in the city so my character is moving like I don't know, slow motion. Super lame. I want a new game. Landmark. Well, there's the cyberpunks coming out. Yeah, that's the next thing I want a new game. Landmark. There's the cyberpunks coming out. That's the next thing I'm looking forward to.

Kind of a shooter, right? Yeah, but it's like it's kind of like an RPG game like shooting elements. Yeah, it's so hyped up. It's so hyped up. I hope they can pull through with it. Is it single player? Yeah. Nice. I'll give that a go. Landmark landmark you going 30 80 or 30 90 if i can even get one yeah i hear you i i probably

a 30 80 30 90 is excessive i'm glad you said so i was on the sorry say that again like what are you going to do with a 30 90 what are you playing 8k like what i was gonna do with it was use it for three years but as i watch more reviews in particular there's a tech reviewer gaming nexus maybe did i get that right i got a close anyway i know that channel yeah yeah and uh he kind of dogs the 3090 is not really being a gaming card they just took a workstation card and branded it as a gaming card and it takes a lot more power which is going to heat your room up that much more and like for it's not delivering like what you need it to that it i don't know too much power consumption too

much heat and not enough gap in the performance and my chat was like what do you you know hey just before you get the 3090 think about it you could probably get a 3080 and a 3080 ti for less than a 3090 yeah just put the money towards the next one right and you could sell the 3080 if you wanted to i don't know but um i'm leaning towards 3080 once you get to that point it's like every extra dollar gets you such little and extra performance it's like it's hard to justify it seems especially with like diminishing returns on it unless you're gaming at like 4k or something if you're like i'm still on 10 8 i game in 1080p i so yeah that was a thing too um the nexus guy he used the words like you know if you're not like why would you game why would you get a 3090 if

you're gaming at 1440 and i was like oh it's like he's talking to me directly so yeah i play in 1440 uh i'm probably just gonna wait for the 3080 ti honestly because that'll be christmas or early january right right well you're in a 2080 ti so that makes a lot of sense. I'm on a 1080 Ti. I'm on the same thing as well. You're on a 1080 Ti? Yeah. Wait, you are a landmark? Yep. Oh, I didn't expect that.

Okay. He's playing a 1080p. Because the whole thing was, I was like, all right, I get a 2080, or I can wait and get the new ones. And I waited, and now I can't buy the new one. I'm in the same boat. They're all sold out, or they're like 70 grand on eBay. I need a whole new computer. Like I think I'm CPU bound on Tarkov.

And yeah, I upgraded everything except my GPU. I upgraded my CPU to the best the motherboard would handle. But even that is old. So if I need a new motherboard, then I would need new RAM because that's been modernized. So I need a new motherboard. I need a new RAM. I need a new GPU.

Let's just do a fresh build. That's where I am. Are you on a single PC? I am. It's actually a server. I bought a really reliable computer because this show can't crash. I would take so much heat if the show crashed.

So I'm on a dual Xeon setup with like ECC Ram and it has redundant power supplies and it's, uh, it's not really a gaming machine. That's serious shit then. Yeah, but it's not a gaming computer. It doesn't do it great. Does this really well though. We all appreciate it. It's got the generator downstairs just in case i have uninterruptible power supplies upstairs and downstairs so when the power goes out we just keep recording that gong is gonna look so good behind you oh it's gonna look awesome

god i'm mad at myself i didn't think of the gong first. Would you have bought a $500 gong? No, he'd have gotten a bitch gong. I'm buying all this shit. That's like the eight best didgeridoo on the internet. Hands dipped Australian didgeridoo. Give me a little didgeridoo. Give me a little didgeridoo.

Let's go. I hope he stands and plays. Yep. Fuck yeah. I mean, I know better. I know better Didgeridoo players. Tell him it's terrible. Hands dipped in Australian beeswax. So that was...

It's the finest you can buy on Amazon.com for $30. Yeah, that was awful. It was... You couldn't do any better. You don't even... Oh, it's so much better. You want to have a didgeridoo to eat? You want to have a didgeridoo off?

A didgeridoo off, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're free to lose at a didgeridoo off. A didgeridoo off, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're free to lose at a didgeridoo off. I'll make that piece of shit look like a didgeridoo. You're going down. It's not even going to be close. Show me the didgeridoo you're going to get. I'll get one that's had a weird outback black man's hands all over it. I'm going to get one that smells of the bush.

It smells of the Australian bush. Yes. And then you're going to learn how to play it better than i can did you hear the different notes i was hitting no i heard it sounded like there were some different notes in there no there were no different notes you don't know what the fuck that was awful no no I loved it we're playing among us and just randomly oh hell yeah I just I opened up landmark stream and I see one person saying I hear the notes thank you logical solutions for the high TV analysis. That's funny.

Yeah, we're going to have to come up with more things. I would like it if maybe a certain donation mark turned on a smoke machine in your room. Like one of those fog machines, right? Those are cheap i used to have one for lulz uh i think i used to use it on the show right i'd fog the room up um my tree's been doing well i'll put some budget into this shit fog i like it yeah your fog machine maybe a strobe light halloween is coming up um yeah i mean i don't know i don't know if you can set off fireworks in your in your in your

in your room there that'd be that'd be easy there antifa that'd be fucking cool it's some explosions in there i'd like that you know you know what do you have that idea i mean if you had a thousand dollar like donation goal where you just light a fucking bottle rocket in your room? Honestly, that's pretty fucking funny. I get to pick the bottle rocket. Really, my whole family should know if I get a $1,000 donation. I think my neighbors should know.

The other day we were talking, I want to move my stream right in the middle of a range so i can just literally turn off camera and start shooting guns this is a good idea and just blow up some tannerite like switch to a gopro on me that'd be awesome yeah i was considering doing that at one point yeah streaming technology wasn't good enough to do that at the time but but we were always talking about like just doing a live stream and sitting there and for like donation goals blowing up more and more expensive things like we can just we can have a fucking car over there no problem you know cars like 300 and then 50 for the tannerite yeah that'd be fucking cool yeah the more shrapnel the better i need to relocate yeah well i mean well i don't know where you are but you clearly have the arsenal your east eastern time zone you would need like an actual safe place

to do that right oh yeah safer yeah safe for everyone else in the middle of a range to do it yeah you really want some private property to do that even like middle of nowhere a lot of ranges don't love tannerite we you know we set a range on fire in tennessee one time i had to get the fuck out of there i kind of set your dad's place on fire one time yeah but it was used to dude um glenn beck made fun of me for that. Glenn Beck's a piece of shit. I'm glad he lost the show. Yeah, I was on the front. I was on his website.

We had taken the... So what happened was we did this thing where we'd shoot... Tony, you probably know what Dragon's Breath is. The shotgun thing. If anybody doesn't, it shoots like... I don't know if it shoots anything bad but like sparks and fires when it comes out of a shotgun phosphorus in it or something like that it's phosphorus or

magnesium i don't remember which but but your 12 gauge is shooting some some very hot burning stuff that'll burn underwater and just you know melt your flesh real good if it gets on you so what i did is i threw a spray paint can in the air and shot it with the dragon's breath and the idea is you get a big explosion it's kind of neat to see and i hit it but it just leaked so i threw it again and i don't even maybe i missed it or it didn't do what i wanted it to so maybe twice maybe three times i don't know but then um i hadn't been paying very much attention to the dry grass it was landing in on the other side. So I had like, I don't know, a bunch, like seven, 12 small fires to put out.

I remember that video. So I'd put one like 80% out because you can only spend so much time on a fire because the others are all growing. And I go to the other ones and I tamp them down, like try to get them at a manageable thing because you don't want any one of them to really accelerate and i think i took the footage sped it up maybe played some benny hill yeah irresponsible gun owner yeah that's okay i i made i made thousands of dollars selling a shirt that said irresponsible gun owner on them i don't give a fuck there you go yeah i i literally am that's why that's the joke you dummies the uh but but yeah that that that was the you know that that fire was no big deal at all we were on 100 acres that place had been and that place had been

on fire much more seriously than that many, many times. Talking about just you were saying the joke of irresponsible gun owner, I remember talking to you, this must have been almost 10 years ago now, when FPS Russia was just getting started. I think Woody was in the Skype call too, where you're like, get it? Professional Russian? We're like, yeah, that's a really good joke. And then nobody got it

like everyone thought like like the joke was like yeah i'm a russian professionally i'm you know who got it t-shirt purchasers they got it they understood it they understood it you know a hundred thousand dollars worth of fucking professional russian t-shirts later uh they understood it um but uh but yeah they didn't get joke. The joke was I'm getting paid to be a Russian. That's okay. You don't need to get the joke to buy a shirt. Nope. Yeah, the shirt sales

always went really well. We made so fucking much money off goddamn t-shirts. I bet. They were good shirts. I didn't ever buy one, but I caught a couple for free at that paintball trip. Sure did. Yeah. they were good shirts i i got i didn't ever buy one but i caught a couple for free at that paintball trip sure it did sure it did yeah so real quick before we jump into the next thing we're going to hear from honey we all shop online a lot and we've seen that promo code field taunt us at

checkout but thanks to honey manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past honey is the free browser extension that finds promo codes for you and automatically applies them to your cart. Imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the Honey button drops down and all you have to do is click Apply Coupons. Wait a few seconds as Honey scans its database of all the working coupons on the site and watch the price drop. Honey has found over its 17 million members over $2 billion in savings. Honey supports 30,000 stores online, including Walmart, DoorDash, Lululemon, and many, many more. If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing out on free cash.

It's literally free and installs in a couple seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting our show. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com. That's joinhoney.com. Save yourself some money. It is free, and it makes them come back and keep sponsoring us. So do that. Yes, yes.

That's the most important thing. So go sign up. Check it out. Yeah. Just think of all the money that we could make. Think of it. That should be your only goal in life, is to funnel the money that we could make think of it that should be your only goal the money toward us i need more i need more i want 90 000 subs on twitch

i want to do more of those among us streams and stuff like that with with all three of us playing and landmark i'd love to stream with you sometime if you ever get into silly stuff. If it's skill-based, don't – Don't call me. I'll call you. I'm not good. Yeah, I'll play whatever. I think silly stuff is good. I don't know if you would want to do Among Us again.

But there are also other Among Us-style games that I've heard about. Or we could do something like – we could go back to the forest. We talked about playing that a while back. That's that horror survival game that's like, you can have like eight people in there running around, you know, fighting savages with hatchets and stuff and hacking into bits. I was also, I was

seeing some other stuff that there are settings in Among Us that you can change that apparently make it harder to discern the imposter. And one of them is getting rid of the task indication so the bar the green bar yeah it won't tell you if someone's faking it or not and everybody was saying definitely enable that next time because then you can't have people like well that's not why they called you out though they called you out because you started doing a task that takes a very long time. I mean, where they'd be like, oh, I watched and Dion wasn't actually doing the task.

He was standing by the gate. And that felt almost cheaty, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. I'd be fine with taking that off. Yeah, we can do that. But yeah, I'll play whatever you guys. I think I topped out of like 1,600 people last night doing that.

And that's an enormous stream for me, 1,600 people. Frankly, I think it's a good idea right now if we did another Among Us thing, at least for your sake, because it's the most popular game in the world right now. So if you can get on the front page of that, then you're probably going to garner some new viewers. But if you just want to please the pay pigs who are watching you regularly, then you could do anything you want. You could play Monopoly again.

I like Monopoly. Everybody gets angry in that. I choose games based on what I want to play. I don't give a flying fuck what's popular on Twitch. I want to play that Forest game. I want to get the 3080 installed before I do that though. Yeah. It will look beautiful with the, with the,

with the new GPU. When you're running that thing at max settings, it legitimately is a really pretty game. Not the monsters so much. They kind of look like Plato, but the forest itself, which is, you which is the titular forest, looks really nice.

The AI is retarded and the monsters look like Play-Doh. But other than that, the forest is beautiful. Have you played Squad yet? No, I've been watching it. I watched Anton and I watched Pastilli play it, so I just know

a tiny bit. I think they just had the like the full the 1.0 release of the game i think it's like the actual release now i heard that too it's a fun game if you get a like a group of people it's a bunch of idiots messing around but is it good content like that i like to watch with my i don't know i don't yeah i don't i don't know streaming it, but it's definitely fun to play. Okay. Yeah. My stream's kind of a chat hangout. The gaming's just there.

It's just something to do. It's a hard game to play and talk to chat with, I would say. Do you always play with partners, as the name implies? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I don't even know how many players are in the game now, but it's like big team-based game modes. So it'll be like, I don't know, 100 people on the map,

and each team is broken into squads. And you talk to your squad, and every squad has a squad leader that can talk to the other squad leaders, and you're basically like, it's like a big war zone, kind of. It's like Battlefield, but zone kind of it's like battlefield but more uh more realistic i guess yeah i i've seen some videos of that that were really fucking entertaining like like uh usually it's when they've set up a big ambush and like the other team is making this huge 50 man push across a bridge or something with armored vehicles and cargo trucks and there's just another 40 or 50 guys waiting on them with

lmg fire and rpgs and bullshit it's it's pretty fun to watch that go down yeah class plays a lot class is really good at it uh i've never played class is kyle's friend my friend maybe i don't know i like maybe you did me wrong in among us class. If you see this. Yeah, it's going to happen. Yeah, we can play the forest or, you know, honestly, I'll play anything, though. I think I think we're well served playing, you know, little simple, silly games where there's a lot of communication and chattering back and forth. But like I said, I'll do whatever. I like playing games with you guys. But like I said, I'll do whatever.

I like playing games with you guys. And, you know, we were playing with our Discord of people that are like at the $50 Patreon level. They were on our Patreon. So like as soon as Woody and Taylor and me joined in there, there was like, I don't know, 20 people wanting to play Among Us with us. It was a good time. Yeah. That's a massive game i heard that they're not uh they were going to stop uh doing anything to the current game and just go right to developing the second game but then i saw literally last night that they're they canceled that plan and they're going to keep

working on among us one so all the enhancements you would have had to pay for seem to be bundled into one now. It's as a customer, you have to like it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. They're just going to keep improving this game, but none of the improvements they were adding were really things I cared about. I guess they're going to add a new stage and new map. So that's good. But I didn't see anything else. It was crazy. The core of the game. Isn't my cup of tea. I would much rather have a co-op game. Like raft is something i really enjoy i like draft um among us is kind of the opposite of what i enjoy i like left for dead where we're all on the same team among us is about divisiveness yeah and that's not my cup of tea i love it i love it

because i i like because there's a lot of like uh introverts in the group and to see them get put on the spot like that have to defend themselves like when uh the girl who's in our uh 50-hour patriot thing snuffkin like she's she's terrible at defending herself like she won't even be the imposter and be like i think it's snuff and she's like um well uh it's it's probably not me um it's it's not it's not and we're just like yeah it's her it's her. It's her. Kill her. She'll just go, oh. Just terrible at defending herself. Yeah, I like the game.

It's what Landmark said. It's argument simulator. And I dig that about it. I like when people get upset and start yelling at each other. You can't take it personally. Yeah, you can't take it personally, but some people do, and start yelling at each other and take it personally yeah you can't take it personally but some people do and it's really funny yeah it's like uh you ever played uh i'm gonna get trolled for saying it like this but mario party back in the day yeah i played

little mario party yeah how many fights i've had over that fucking game yeah you're italian right yeah i grew up on long island okay that explains the mario stuff yeah i'm from the south so there's mario i'm getting roasted for it right now yeah i'm i'm from the south so it's mario for sure mario everywhere it's mario everywhere I was being polite. He's our guest. Select locations in the northeast. Yeah. Monopoly has that same thing where people can get really pissy and angry. I like it, too. We play a little bit of what's that?

There's a knockoff Monopoly that you get on tabletop or something. It's the same thing. Rinto Fortuna, I think it's called. It's the same thing. Rinto Fortuna. I think it's called. No, it's Rinto Fortune. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, people get upset at that too. I like games that people get mad in. That's why I like Tarkov.

It's so satisfying to kill someone in Tarkov and be like, he's mad. You want to be able to fuck someone over. Yeah. It's not enough just for my character to prosper i need yours as well yeah yeah landmark after you kill a guy do they ever pop on stream and beg for their gear back how do you handle it sometimes it happens it depends if they're like usually if they're like if they're below level 10, I'll usually just throw their stuff in the bush. If they're like in a four man group running the best stuff in the game, I'm like, nah, you know what you signed up for.

Signed up for this. You know, if if they're a lower level, I'll help them out. So you're I mean, it's well known you're one of the best people at this game. Are you just one of those people that just kick ass at every video game? Or is this somehow just because every once in a while you'll meet someone who's like almost specifically teched their personality for one game? No, I shooters. I'm good at shooters. Anything else?

There's a lot of games I kind of suck at. Like, if you put me in a racing game, I'll probably be shit at it. If it's clicking heads i can do it you came from csgo is that right yeah uh well cs i played basically everything i mean when i was young i played a ton of counter-strike since 1.6 counter-strike source a lot of csgo apex pub g all that the only one i really didn't play was fortnite no fortnite for me why not that was hugely popular for a while maybe it still is i mean it still is it still is yeah i didn't like the whole building aspect i felt like it was more of a game about out building people than out

shooting them right yeah from the twitter i've seen it seems more about forts than about guns which i mean is is reflected in the name i mean bro people are so fucking good at that game too that's how i feel about csgo if you try to start that game now like you're just so far behind everyone don't tell me what i can't csgo people are like what do you what do you should play csgo and i'm like no there's a 26 year old who's been training for 14 years now brackets there's skill brackets in that so you're playing against people that are like your skill level more there might not be one for us though i can't even match up enough enough low skill people in fall guys

to win that's not true i have one one CSGO, though, is watching yourself improve and climbing up in the ranks and noticeably learning the mechanics, right? There's something satisfying about that. I like watching CS, but I have never enjoyed playing CS. I played a ton of PUBG. That was my favorite game for a long time. But then we got burned out on that and switched to Call of Duty for a while and and then to tarkov and right now i'm kind of stuck i don't know what to play i guess i'm waiting on 2077 but as far as shooters i'm not even that pumped for the new cod

i don't know the new cod as far as multiplayer i'm not pumped for but since it's a zombies one i'm gonna get it and give it a go zombies will be fun as long as and i've said it a million times but like they really need to add an option like a little toggle switch where it's like do you want the version that's just killing zombies and turning on the perks or do you want the version where to get the special weapon you have to solve a rubik's cube and guess the right numbers and put out the torches in the right order i don't want to play that i don't want to play that that's not fun i like it i like it like i just want to play that. I don't want to play that. That's not fun. I like it. I like it. I just want to kill zombies.

Me and my squad got so good at doing that puzzle that it was like each of us knew our part of it and it was just lickety split like four or five rounds in. We had everything unlocked and everything turned on and all the power and if you wanted the secret weapons, you were already three or four steps into getting them. That almost ruins it in a way

where it's like, okay, now we're going to spend an hour on turn five you babysit them it's not like that list of chores and then staff with ice power that's what the one was with the the giant iron giant walking around remember where you would have that one was so hard all right fuck that one for hours if you wanted to do it that was just like the uh i don't remember what it's called the western ones when you had that big retard you had to get to like one through walls yeah oh yeah fucking mongo comes comes running around the corner yeah it was mongo right was it i was kidding they named the retarded character Mongo. What was his name?

Yeah, in the western zombies map from like Black Ops 3 or something. Origins. I remember the Wild West one. That one was cool because you had the gun that you could shoot at the ground and it would levitate you over barriers as you were kiting and stuff. Leroy is his name.

Leroy. I name. Leroy! I think it's like the last Call of Duty. The last Call of Duty had that zombies map that was like a gladiatorial arena. That was my favorite one. We played that one. We beat the shit out of that one.

I don't know what level we got to, but like high 70s, low 80s or something like that. And we never lost. We were just like, alright, it's 5 in the morning. Everybody good with quitting here? Can we just back into a corner and see how long we can hold them off? Yeah? Good. Thank God.

I'm so fucking tired. Is that from the most recent COD game? No, I think it's the last one. I think it is. Black Ops 4. But that was the most recent Zombies. Yeah, it's the most recent Zombies, but not the most recent COD. I don'tps 4. But that was the most recent Zombies. Yeah, it's most recent Zombies, but not the most recent Kite. I don't think I played any of the most recent Zombies. It was really fucking fun. I was trying to get you to play

it with us. You had this gladiatorial arena. It was really easy to kite for three out of the four players so that your best player would just take the hard kiting spot. And there were some cool special weapons. It was cool. Yeah, I'm definitely going to get Zombies. Yeah, zombies yeah i will too i will too you probably have to play through like the the single player to get everything unlocked in zombies or to get all the maps or something like that so i'll do that too

let's let's switch up the theme let's get different kinds of zombies you can't do that i don't think they've even done that in a while, though, right? What other kinds of zombies would you like, Taylor? I don't know. Like, spacemen zombies? They did that. They did that, but they were space Nazis, so not that great. And moon sucked. I did not like moon.

Do you want actual extraterrestrial zombies? That'd be pretty cool. I'm just saying that, like, it it's overdone you know you'd pick other like atrocities throughout human history i don't know oh until it was all b like the red guard or the the the soviet zombies i it wasn't even about that make them ancient zombies that's cool ancient zombies didn't they do that i'm pretty sure they did that they've done all these things they had money i didn't yeah uh i guess um this one is more cold war stuff right because it's got uh what's the

fucking president who's like the main part of this game reagan um reagan everybody's going off on how good reagan. He looks like shit. You mean the graphics? They're not nearly as good as they're saying? Let me find it. They had Nixon in, I think, the map 5. Right. Reagan also.

Yeah, they found a good attractor. You want to kill all the zombies or we're fucked. I want a game where it's fucking Bill Clinton and we're on Epstein's Island. Now you need to be careful of the young zombies. I'm interested in them. Don't kill them.

That's fine. But I mean, you know, they're still cute. I don't think he looks that good. They keep saying JFK. No no Reagan is in the next one JFK is in the last one I don't think he looks that good either yeah I'm talking about the next cog guys

the one with Reagan in it this picture you just linked is he does not look good yeah you know this is supposed to be like next supposed to be exactly it looks like a whack statue like one of those uh one of those whack statues but whatever i'll play it i'll buy it uh i mean i don't think i've skipped a cod in a long time i think i've maybe skipped one or two that i that i didn't actually purchase but i'll buy this one

just the zombies really i skipped a couple before this one. I think I disliked Ghosts so much I took a few CODs off. I hated Ghosts. It was the maps. I think that was the last one I bought. I think that's what finally made me not buy Call of Duty anymore. After Ghosts, I think there were two that involved wall running or jetpack mechanics

or something like that. Was it Black Ops 3 after that? I can't keep track at this point. Which one was Advanced Warfare where you were robots jumping off walls? Maybe it was Advanced Warfare. Advanced Warfare sucked. That was the worst one by far.

A lot of people didn't like it. They literally replaced the human character with a robot. You could play as a robot. What's the point? I liked Black Ops 3 and Infinite was like what's the point well i liked i liked black ops 3 and infinite warfare which had the jetpacks but i didn't like advanced warfare i didn't like the jetpacks as a whole like i just i liked being a soldier on the ground more than well yeah it was advanced warfare where it was like which character are you going to be this

one's literally a robot be You're going to be a robot who, like General Grievous, jumping off walls, hitting people with your lightsaber. I didn't like. And there was like a lightsaber equivalent in the infected one where you'd hit them with just a rip-off of, I think, that Halo sword. That was Black Ops, yeah.

As bad as that game was, was the single player good? Because COD usually does a good job single player. That was the one with the Advanced Warfare, Kevin Spacey, right? Oh, I remember that one. Yeah. That was the one. I didn't play the single player.

Okay. I think that was the one with Kevin Spacey. I think I'm more excited about the single player in the upcoming COD than the multi. But I'll probably play it all. I am. You are, okay. I'm more interested in the zombies uh yeah the zombies will be the thing that you know you play through the single player once

yeah you play through the multiplayer until you get pissed off and everyone figures out how to what weapon is overpowered and start spamming it but the zombies you can go back to over and over and over zombies has kind of lost me uh It always had a lot of dead time. You know, like take the original Nazi zombies. What, the first five rounds are killing one zombie at a time? Probably. What'd you do? Punch them four times in the chest and shoot them in the head or something like that?

Five times in knife form, right? Shoot them in that knife form. Eight times in knife form. I think that's what it was. Okay. Okay. Yeah. knife right you shoot him and then knife him i think that's what it was okay okay yeah so the that whole zero challenge black and white like just drudgery was not my cup of tea i i enjoyed

zombies an hour later when you know you're really kiting and you've got a lot of activity maybe you have a decent gun or not that's the part of zombies that i like now they've taken the part i don't like and just multiplied it by 10 in the form of like puzzles and openings and it it's i'm totally out of this yeah i i agree i want it to be you kill the zombies in the round and make it so that killing the zombies in the round if anything that un that unlocks something else, you know, make that an option. At least you can opt into instead of, Oh, if you want to survive past round 10,

you got to spend an enormous amount of time on round seven, eight, nine, completing chores. That's it's ridiculous. I want to do one crippled zombie limping around. That's exactly what it is. One person has to babysit the zombie and it's just,

I like all this. I like all these things you're describing. I the downtime i would rather just roll through think of how much faster you would get through the game if it was just you know bing bang boom round round round round like you could play a lot more games you wouldn't be wasting an hour and a half or that's very conservative of me hours throughout the course of a 30 round game just hanging out i would be okay if there were a game mode or game settings where you could just be like, open all puzzles, open all secrets, open all doors, and just play in an arena and just shoot zombies

if that's what you wanted to do. But I do like doing the puzzles at least the first few times. The first time, it's cool. There's the big rush to the first group to find out what the puzzle is. Those guys have those live streams. These guys have these crazy 20-hour live streams where they're just interacting with

everything on the map in random orders trying to get something to happen. What if I shoot the statue? See, that's what it should be. It should be an option just like you described where I can do the full Easter egg once and be like, oh, that was really cool, and that's it. And then, going forward,

your game reflects that you've beaten that Easter egg, and now that thing on the wall you click on is there. Right? That'd be cool. I'm fine with that. I just don't want to have to do it every single time, because I remember that stupid I think people were saying, buried the map where there's a robot walking around

to get those special staffs which you needed to win it's that's for cool though eternity my favorite part of all zombies ever the witches on that one that had leroy there were like hedges the hedges were a bit of a complicated maze. And when you walked through them, witches came after you. They kind of floated. And it was hard to do by yourself. But it was just the right challenge for me because I could do it well like four times out of five

or maybe even better than that. Maybe nine times out of ten. But it certainly had its risk. And it was just the right level of hard for me. And I enjoyed the witches. It was a good time. I like the teamwork. I like the teamwork that of hard for me and I enjoyed the witches and it was a good time. I like the teamwork. I like the teamwork that comes along from zombies and the communication, you know,

working with three other guys and figuring out how we're going to do this and, oh, this guy needs that. Oh, hang on, I need 300 more points to do this and that. I like the coordination and the teamwork that comes from zombies and, you know, just obviously eviscerating huge swarms of zombies

with a light machine gun is fun oh it's so satisfying all those plus tens coming in when you perfectly kite 50 of them and then like oh there were some maps like ascension was the most fun to play solo because you could just play ascension solo until you decided to lose you could just go infinitely on that map it was set up so easy if you played solo then other ones like uh what is it shinonuma i think that was a yeah that wasn't that was that was a solo shinonuma which one am i thinking of then you know what the third map they had in world of war wasn't that the one in the swamp there's a swamp infinitely solo i don't know the name of the one i'm thinking of then are you

talking asylum uh maybe it was asylum that was one of my favorites i like the asylum that was the first map that they added yeah was it yeah my zombies knowledge is so that was the first one with perks yeah oh you know what i didn't like was shangri-la i hated shangri-la where you had like that shrink gun and all the monkeys tried to kill you like the zombie monkeys didn't care for that there's no reason to to malign monkeys like that i forgot about taylor's monkey affection monkeys are cool man i want to get a monkey so bad. Why don't you make a stream goal that you get a capuchin monkey? Oh, dude, that would

seriously fuck my life up. No, no, no. If you hit 2,500 subs, you rent a chimpanzee for one of your streams. No, I'm at 2,470. I'm loving this idea. Hang on, let's see. Chimp rental St. Louis.

Oh, no. Maybe I can get the dying Kimmy and Kirby I got for my second birthday. Those two motherfuckers are definitely dead. Landmark, when I was two or three on my birthday, I was obsessed with monkeys. And my parents hired this company to come out with two little chimpanzees. Looking back on it tremendously dangerous to let those things run around around those kind of kids and i got a uh i got a kawasaki a little four-wheeler that like a little kid would sit on a little electric thing and ride around

and i remember kirby was cool as shit the male one he was hanging out with me we were palling around loved kirby nothing not a bad word to say about that now definitely dead monkey uh kimmy was an absolute bitch she pushed me off of my kawasaki i was as i was riding it for the first time and then jumped on and drove it away and i was distraught and so big ups to kirby for my third birthday party fuck you kimmy i'm glad you're dead i love that you had multiple monkeys for your birthday party at third grade or three years old we third grade three i was three it's almost wasted on a three-year-old one of my first memories is being pushed off of a kawasaki by a monkey like one of the first memories that i have like really

ingrained in my head is looking to my right and seeing an ape come towards me and push me off my kawasaki and which it was scary at the time it's hard to find monkey rental i so the first hit i got was the top 10 monkey rentals in st louis i'm like oh my god this place is a a gold mine of monkey rentals but then the link didn't go anywhere. However, I can get you a donkey, a tarantula, a snake, or a parrot, or more birds. It's hard to find monkeys. I searched chimp party St.

Louis, and I did not get what I was looking for. I bet there were zero regulations on this shit in 1993. Doing whatever you wanted. You might have to live stream from the zoo. Would you let a donkey come into the room with you? Because what if we put a big diaper on the donkey?

I'm not putting a diaper on a donkey. It'll kick me out. Look, they're going to diaper the donkey for you. Don't worry about that. But just imagine if you're a donkey, then I don't think there's a problem. Imagine if like every time someone subscribes, you sort of like jerk,

it's halter. And he goes, that donkey bray. Like, Oh dude, I'd love that. I'd tune in. If there was a donkey on your stream,

I understand your resistance to the donkey, but you can get a white buffalo. None of these are monkeys. We're doing our best here. Taylor, I think I might have a winner here. You can get a ring-tailed lemur. See, but the lemurs are the idiots of monkeys. I think you're being a bit monkist.

I'm being a bit monkist. I'm being a bit monkist. You're going to get landmark banned with your extreme monkism. No, I'm an apist. Yeah, but like lemurs, well-known stupid monkeys. He just won't stop until he's off the air.

Chimpanzee rental? Can you rent a chimpanzee? Top animal entertainers for hire in St. Louis. Are there any good ones? I'm going to click birthday for a child. In the age 30. How many guests are you expecting at the event?

1,000. 1,500. 1,500 people. No, they're all coming digitally. It'll just be me. Do you know the address? Yes. I'm not going to give it to you. Come on, give me to the chimps. Dude, just send the chimp to Woody's house and he'll ship it to me.

He'll just burn in the fire. Oh, this place has a sloth. This place has a sloth. We're getting close. Is a sloth related to a koala bear? Am I right about that? I think koalas are marsupials. Ah, it's the kangaroo that's related to the sloth. No.

It's the kangaroo that's related to the koala. Oh, I said it backwards. And the marsupial. Is the koala a marsup I said it backwards. And the apostle. Is the koala a marsupial? Yes. I think it might be. Really? Yes.

Man, the things you learn online. This place will just send you a pirate. I mean, it's not... A real Somali one? Do I get to pick the... He's more of a Jack Sparrow style pirate. Hold out for the Somali taylor 2500 subs when you place the order i thought it was gonna be kind of like a black beard situation

oh no this place has those scary monkeys with the fangs, but they're in Napa, California. The baboon. Baboons are fucking scary. Those red-ass things with the big, crazy, long incisors. Which things are those? The baboon. Oh, the baboons.

I do not want a baboon in the room. Again, that's where the trouble is. Look at the fucking mouth on those things look are you afraid of snakes uh i mean i don't want to be around one but like they don't it's not one of those things that kind of qualifies like like i didn't ask if you could look at one across the room but like i want to wrap the snake around you oh no i don't want to play with the snake no well the snake's gonna you. Are we going back to the masturbation topic? You know what? As long as it's not a poison snake, I don't really care.

I'm thinking like a python wrapped around your neck while you play games. Isn't that where you don't want a python? Yeah. That's where I want the python. You fucking buy a python and stream wearing it. Taylor, it's for the memes.

I'm not an idiot. This is for you. I'm not a moron. This is for the memes, Taylor. For the memes. No. No. If I'm memeing with an animal, it's going to be a monkey.

All right. I'm going to work on this later tonight. I'm going to figure something out. We're going to get some animals into your house. I prefer the four-legged kind. I love idea of like a full fucking donkey walking into that room just looking around all confused dude i'm opening up landmarks chat every so often and someone just said like so is this podcast just about bullshit yes yes welcome to the show yes yeah 10 years strong bullshit 500 and something right 400 what is this weekly for 500 weeks

no there's people with twitch accounts younger than this show i looked up raleigh um animal entertainment like hoping that it may i don't know i just really like the idea and there's a belly dancer dressed as a snake fuck yeah that's my hired as a surprise for my husband's 40th birthday party giant success she's punctual apparently yeah there's a lot of cool stuff that you can have rented to be brought to your house but but i love these ideas for for taylor's stream or for woody stream i think woody might have some stricter regulations about what he can do in his in his house because he has a wife i think you're going backwards oh really you're gonna walk a donkey up the stairs into that room

i think it's a way higher chance that i put a donkey in my home as the tailor does. You take the donkey thing. Can you imagine how filthy your house would be if you brought a donkey in it? Similar to now, I would guess. I'm just fucking with you. I'm not bringing that filthy animal in my home. I have like two horses in here all the time. That's true. My dogs weigh 12 pounds.

What about a Shetland pony? Alright, let me ask you this. What kind of content am I going to get out of that? I'm about to tell you. Would you allow a Shetland pony into your home, Taylor, if I could arrange for a midget cowboy to ride it? Oh, my God, yes. And look, he would have cap pistols, and he'd be like double Yosemite Samming them

as he rode around in the background. I'm not an idiot. I'm not turning this down. All right. I'm, this is my new goal in life. When we, when we hit 5,000,

4,000 subs. So it's not, it's not going over to tiny Tim's cowboy adventures. See if I can get this guy over there. I believe you that that's a site. Oh, so landmark, do you ever see yourself backing off the Twitch thing and pursuing what you

studied for? Or are you more like, it's good having that in my back pocket, but I've, I've found what I like to do. Take it one day at a time. You know, it's nice to have a little safety net,

I guess. So if you head on over to short dwarfwarf.com thank you for the link you had a redundant domain um no that's that's where you quote unquote rent a midget nationwide to book to book your rent a midget or dwarf talent let's talk and share details of your event or performance with each other and uh it doesn't say rent now it says buy now over this little fella dressed as a leprechaun he is dressed dude that guy plays a leprechaun well you always want to purchase your little purse and never rent you're just throwing money away when you when you oh you're just throwing money and the way i I treat dwarf rentals, buy it nice or buy it twice.

That's right. Oh, there's a cute lady. There's a cute lady little person leprechaun in here. Are you gallery photos? Is that where you went? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Thank you, Mitty.

This website fucking sucks. What? Well, it's a terrible... I mean, made by midgets for midgets. Like, don't hate. Oh, man. This guy's really getting down at a party. Okay. Okay. All right. Well...

He's at Blarney's Irish Pub. Head on over to shortdwarf.com for all your little person needs. Jesus, this video, is this an advertisement for cankles? I mean, I think for less than $1,000 we could have that little fellow right there riding a Shetland pony

in your bedroom. I don't want a pony. I know you don't want a little person riding a Shetland pony in your home, Taylor. That's why I'm proposing this. Why do you hate little people? a little person riding a Shetland pony in your home, Taylor. That's why I'm proposing this. Why do you hate little people?

I'm more afraid. I'm not afraid of the little person kicking a hole in my drywall. I'm afraid of the horse getting spooked when I start didgeridooing and destroying this entire room. This is good content. I do not have fuck you money. I can't afford

a pony going hog wild. He could destroy dozens of dollars of Lord of the Rings posters and hockey memorabilia. Tens of dollars. Back off, Kyle. It's not anything

on that side of the room I'm concerned with. It's more of this stuff. You know? This is going to be a successful stream. And my owl costumes. Taylor, if you want

to make money, you got to spend money. Would you invest in some wildlife for your stream? I mean, with a salient point like that, I'd be a full monster. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I see how it is. I'll do some kind of animal thing. If I wanted one, it would be a capuchin monkey. But even that would have to be brief because I feel like that thing would get into all sorts of mischief given even a couple minutes like i probably have pocket knives or something sitting around that it could threaten me with oh that'd be so cool dude could you imagine the viewers i'd get if i was being actively threatened by a monkey with a knife that would be on livestream fails. I would love that so much. That's what my stream's about.

I'm not good enough to pull any viewers on any game. So you just got to make fun of hoarders and shit, I suppose. So Landmark, I feel like I don't want to ask you what your long-term plan is but i want to know what's next after this how long does this go what i i i it from the outside it seems like you're just saving 95 of your money and you're gonna be okay regardless of what happens and the rest is in guns i don't i don't know what the long term is, you know, taking it kind of one day at a time, right? I mean, if you asked me a few months ago, like, where are you going to be in six months? How do you even answer that?

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's happened so quickly for you. Yeah. You still kind of are in the right, like shocked phase of it, right? Like, did you probably never anticipated your stream would grow this enormously this quickly. No, never. But it just goes to show being very fucking good at the game

and doing it 12 hours a day is disturbing. Well, look, if you want to take this thing to the next level, you're going to need some monkeys. Apparently. Don't steal my shit. I mean, you're backing off the monkeys

you're anti pony I'm not taking the pony or the horse but I'll take the monkey does a monkey wear a little person or vice versa there's not a dwarf I don't know how that works you know what would be funny is if I hired the dwarf

and I didn't have him dress up and i just said you have to stream on twitch and not address any of the chat for four hours playing a game pretending to be me no no he has to sit on your lap he has to sit on your lap and for donations you bounce him on your knee i'm sitting there completely silent as he's playing. That's this 45-year-old little person who's just trying to make ends meet in the big man's world.

He's bouncing on your knee for strangers. Everyone keeps accusing me of being the imposter to bug acid. It's not true. I was doing my task. My little hands, I can't. Oh, that's mean. God, wouldn't you just kill yourself?

No. Jesus Christ. No. No. Disavow. Why do you think you've been so successful as a streamer, Landmark? Is it the schedule? The gameplay?

Do you think it's your personality? Why is it people love you i don't know okay expand on that i guess i guess all the above right i mean you're always there you're reliable people know where to go and find you they could turn on twitch and you're you're there all the time right you don't really take days off at all i'll tell you what i like i think it's consistency uh i'll tell you what i like about you and your stream and why i come back to it big part of it is the consistency i know you're on like it could be four in the morning you're on yeah you're on it could be it could be six in the

afternoon you're fucking on if i turned your stream on and you weren't on i'd be like oh shit i wonder if something happened like like is he okay like he okay? I would legitimately be a bit concerned if I turned your stream on at any of those times of day and you were not on. But the other part is, I really root for you because you're not one of those streamers who has this fake persona where everything is the coolest thing that's ever fucking happened to you. Like, hey guys guys you're not that guy so like you're you're really understated 90 of the time and i'm rooting for you to get that like team wipe to take out that five man because i know

that you're gonna like really get pumped and get excited and i'm rooting for you so when that does happen i'm just like fuck yeah you got it like i'm i'm literally in my kitchen like looking through this little island i've got like like at the tv like cooking dinner or something and i i hear you go and i'm just like yeah yeah like it's a fucking football game like i'm pumped for you when you when you when you wipe out all those guys it's great you know that's like that. It's the chat interaction. That's what I like. Anton does that well, too. I think it's a big part of it, too, yeah.

The chat interaction, the chat itself with the donations can be really funny, you know, because they get that text to speech that's fucking hilarious. And your reaction to it, like Kyle says, not every donation is the funniest joke you've ever heard. So it's kind of a hard-earned giggle if you get it from Landmark. You had to hit a 7 out of 10 joke for him to tell you your joke didn't suck. There's some golden jokes that we've had. Yeah. There's been a good one. Oh, dude, I got a kick.

I felt like I was watching. I was above all the other people. Because you were arguing about whether water's wet. And I'm'm like this is just a money-making scam landmark landmark is taking it he's got 7 000 people trying to convince him that water's wet or not i forget which they're just like for three dollars i gotta get my opinion in like this guy's killing it i like it i like i i obviously none of us have streams like yours but it was fun learning transitively through kyle and woody about you where they'd be like oh yeah someone

will donate three bucks and ask a a question and then tony will be like huh you know i really don't think i understand what you're asking there could you could you rephrase it or then doing it again and it's like man i'm just i'm not internalizing what's that's not what happened that's very funny oh it's not the way they said that's very funny uh not intentionally at least no like i don't maybe sometimes i i probably don't even hear half of them correctly right so i'm like so focused and i hear some like random question i'm like wait what did i read that correctly or i'll read it wrong because you're trying to like read and listen and oh yeah guys footsteps crouch walking around in a building and uh i'll just get like a question you're like oh fuck fuck, I didn't

even listen to that. Or he's like, well if it's not a text to speech, you'll start reading it and then like a third of the way in realize like, oh, it's a crime to say this. Oh, okay. Alright. Well, you almost got me there, motherfucker. It has happened.

It has happened. That's a rough one. Does your text toech say bad words uh yes yes not all of them not the fun ones not all of them yeah we've cleared out a lot of you know there's been some some bumps in the road with incidents i've seen some of those yeah i have been present during the incidents. Uh-huh. It was malfunctioning software. It wasn't me. I 100% believe you because the look on your face. Yeah, he was panicked.

He's like, oh, you can't say bigger in this stream. Kind of. Temper yourself. I did. I was very gentle and careful. I'm trying to infer. Yeah, I feel you.

Kyle's saying temper himself. Meanwhile, landmarks having to mute the show at different points. I was talking to myself. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was literally before that.

Like I was like, so landmarks streaming the show, huh? I wouldn't before that. I was like, so Landmark's streaming their show, huh? I wouldn't do it. We'll be on our best. Yeah, we have tempered ourself quite a bit for you, but it usually gets a little bit rougher than this. It has gotten very rough in the past. I would say silly. I can't even explain how, but right now.

But yeah, we want to be respectful. We didn't want to be going too hardcore in the paint. Assholes. Yeah. That to be that. You get a 90-pound tortoise over there for 500 bucks an hour. I don't want a tortoise. I don't either.

No one even in chat would want a tortoise. Oh, actually, I take it back. It comes with a pony and the miniature animal experience, which includes a mini cow, a mini donkey, a llama, an alpaca. You know why they're doing that? It's because the tortoise isn't selling. They have to throw it into like a Groupon. It's a lowercase T tortoise.

It says one of our 60 to 90 pound African sulcata tortoises and then in parentheses weather permitting. What kind of weather would prevent the tortoise from coming out? If it's cold maybe. Too cold. Ah, the cold. Poor little guy.

I don't want to hang out with the tortoise. This will actually work. These people will bring ponies to your fucking house, dude, for a couple hundred bucks. I'm down with a llama. A llama's kind of cool. They've got a pony and pals package. You get one hour of pony rides,

and you get to choose five of their miniature farm animals. Landmark, we're a never-ending well of stream ideas if you need any. Yeah, yeah. You just let us know. Let a horse list in there with those guns. Yeah, right? Taylor's worried about a monkey in a knife fight. They're bringing guns over at Landmark.

Had to put them down. Dude, even imagine. Tell me this honestly. You rent a capuchin you come out you see the capuchin monkey standing on top of your couch or something looking a little upset holding a knife i leave the house i leave the house immediately not tony that dumbass monkey brought a knife to a gunfight at Landmark's house. You're going to turn a monkey to pink mist in your own living room on my white couches? No. It was him or me.

He had a knife, Taylor. I'm saying I'm not standing around there. I'll go. I immediately start recording, first of all, because you always want some video of an incident like that. That's true. You want to make sure that they know you were acting in self-defense. And then you beat to death with a broom because I'm

not going to be ran out of my own house by a monkey with a knife. If it was a chimpanzee, I'm getting the fuck out. Dude, you're going to look like such a bitch if that monkey gets to jump on you and gets a lucky stab right into your neck. What could have done this? Did someone kill?

Oh, it's that nine-pound monkey in the corner of the room. It's got Kyle's ear in his mouth, half-eaten. Landmark, before you go, what's the most impressive wild animal you think you can defeat in hand-to-hand combat? Oh, my God. We've had the topic of if i could fight a kangaroo on stream okay i think it depends on the kangaroo i think i could take a

kangaroo so the kangaroos use their bottom claws to disembowel i think you could win no how tall are you like how big of a guy are you six one okay and you're talking about a decent sized average kangaroo? Oh, average roo is probably like four foot six or something like that. You gotta go up to one of the big daddy ones. I want that big kangaroo you always see on the internet that's got fucking...

That's vascular. Is that a triatine kangaroo? Yeah. A triatine kangaroo. It would be a close fight, but you didn't ask for an easy fight. You asked for the... Yeah, yeah. What's your kangaroo hand-to-hand combat strategy?

I never went this far into it. You don't even have talons. It's got talons. I've got thumbs. What are you going to do? As it's goring out your... Are you going to play Game Boy to brag as you're being gored to death in the middle of the savannah?

Taylor Vassily underestimates the grasp as a combat technique. There's a video of a guy punching a kangaroo in the face. That was a little one. We watched that recently. Was that a little one? Yeah, it wasn't a very big one. That was the one that was fucking with his dog, and he goes over there to get it off the dog. Gives it it a right hook yeah i i think you could take a kangaroo um

if you could get it like in a headlock maybe especially like like i've i've fucked around with kangaroos before i'm gonna have to text this to this guy uh this guy has this massive hunting ranch and he invited me out to like blow some shit up and destroy a house and um he had a pet kangaroo and i could have taken that probably came up to like the middle of my chest so like it's pretty normal rue four feet tall like like something like that yeah you could have fucked that one up i'm sure i think i could have but i think it could have gotten away from me like i guess the scenario we're describing is one where the kangaroo wants to fight, and he's not running away.

Landmark, both these guys think we couldn't take a deer. What do you think? Not a regular deer. They're herbivores. I know of a man who once strangled a deer. Yeah, his name was John Doesn't Existington. Ha ha ha! yeah his name was john doesn't existing tonight big fucking guy but he strangled the deer yeah peter made up yeah i know that guy was it a real is that uh is that my man teddy fabricated? Is that Alan Ruseman?

That's my friend Jerry Hoax. How many of these do you have? He was hunting and he was sleeping and a deer came up to him and he jumped on the deer. So it wasn't in fighting posture posture and it was more of an assassination i guess so but he my dad did control that deer that one time that he was able to get by the antlers but he was in no position to kill the

deer with his bare hands i'm just thinking like i'm thinking back to that video that was autopsy on the deer because they thought he poisoned it oh shit I'm thinking back to that video that we've autopsy on the deer because they thought he poisoned it. Oh, shit. I'm thinking back to that the Internet video of where the guy had the deer sent on him like the dough in heat. And the buck deer is like beating the shit out of him. It's rearing up on its back. He didn't even hit back. He was all defense.

Oh, yeah. So you're going to come in and sweep the leg, right? Woody? No, no. The deer doesn't. He's got to protect the sides. Raise right down the pipe, baby. defense oh yeah so you're gonna come in and sweep the leg right woody no no kai on him the deer doesn't he's got to protect the sides raise right down the pipe baby okay so hands up protect the sides okay i see yeah that deer had no defense he was all offense he doesn't realize how vulnerable he is so you think if you get him in a muay thai clinch sure a little grab the plum on the back yeah yes yeah uppercuts work that little dirty what could go wrong with this strategy and then when you see the knees buckle you take him down double leg

scoop him you got now he's on his back and they don't know the knee johnny jits isn't popular at all in the deer world this is this is what i'm saying kyle hoof bar you got him you know landmark seems like a pretty fit guy. We could all take a female deer. No problem. We could take a doe. But those bucks? I don't think any of us could. A 150 pound deer is

super strong, dude. Not with that attitude. After I watch you get gored to death going first, yeah, my attitude's going to be poor. What was that? Like a cage match with a deer? What was that? Like a cage match with a buck? Yeah. Like a cage match with a buck. And he wants you.

This is like a frightened animal. He is mad. He knows. How does the buck take you out? With its antlers. I think he gets you down to the ground with the hoof whacks on his rear legs, and then he gores you. I think thumbs are better weapons than hooves.

Right? With that grass. They're hard as a rock. It would be close. I thought you were on my side. No, he's joining the rational side. I think you can do it. I'm going to get a really tame, sweet animal from the petting zoo and be like,

look, I just beat the shit out of a baby camel. Absolutely destroy a fainting goat. I'm coming for you next. You cut a WWE style promo calling out the base Sunday, Sunday, Sunday pay for the whole seat, but you only need the edge. Well,

we have really enjoyed having you on the show. We appreciate you coming on. Yeah. Thank you. We've got another two hours of this nonsense. Now things are really going to get rough. We've been holding back. We're going to take the gloves off.

If you're watching the show, check out Landmark. You can see the spelling on the screen. Streams roughly 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. Eastern Time daily. Does that sound right? Yeah, like 4 to 4 now. 4 to 4. Okay. Also on YouTube.

You'll have a lot of PKA boys jumping in. And if any of you people watching live want to see some more of this nonsense, it's on Woody's Gamertags channel, or you can just search PKA on YouTube. There you go. Well, guys, thank you for having me. Thanks for coming on.

Really nice to meet you. I will see you guys all later. Bye-bye, guys. Talk to you go. Well, guys, thank you for having me. Thanks for coming on. Really nice to meet you. I will see you guys all later. Bye-bye, guys. Bye-bye. Talk to you soon. That was fun. Yeah, that was fun. Man, I wanted to make so many racist jokes when we were talking about... Dude, I could see when you were like,

those midgets should just kill themselves. I had his chat open, and he apparently muted immediately the entire stream. When you were like, those midgets should just kill themselves. I had his chat open and he apparently muted immediately the entire stream. Because even I was like, fuck, I know you can't say stuff like that on Twitch.

That's why I was like, no, get me a distance from that fucking statement. No, that's good. That's good because the chat can be like, what did he say? That was so awful. They're going to want to come see now. It's good. Occasionally, they're muted, muted,

muted. Mine says that just to fuck with me, make me think I have audio problems. So that's where my head went. But I guess now I see what happened. Yeah. No, it's for the best. It's for the best. I didn't want to get him in trouble, but of course not. I didn't want to get him in trouble. Of course not. I didn't know you couldn't say midget or say that midgets should kill themselves. Sometimes

the truth is forbidden. It was the kill themselves thing that Twitch doesn't like. Midget, I don't think is a thing on there. Yeah, I've heard little folks say it's the equivalent of the N-word. Yeah, well that's absurd. Which is why I keep using it.

We need to have some island of respite in this in this nonsense but yeah that was really good to meet him he's fart smelling he comes off as a very very genuine guy like he's just doing his thing doesn't know what's going to come of it that That's part of his appeal. Not everything is the most exciting thing he's ever experienced. Not every joke you tell him is funny. But when you do get a positive reaction from him, it's kind of harder. You know, it's real. It's genuine.

Yeah, there's no fakery. He's not just being silly to be silly. When he starts laughing, you know he's laughing. Most comments in the chat on his stream right now are positive about it. He's not just being silly to be silly. When he starts laughing, he's laughing. Most comments in the chat on his stream right now are positive about it, but there was one... Let me find this. Someone said, I hated all of that.

Holy fuck. They truly are weird. Most people like it. Who the fuck are these people? I thought my hair was genuinely funny that was hilarious that was a good bit it's not even a bit that's your hair

she handed me my coffee it's so bad it's so bad Woody I'm so sorry i'm gonna see friends tomorrow it's it's just wear a hat i know oh i need a hat i need a did you need a stock cap like a full ski mask to cover the whole back it's so bad i might get her to touch it up before i leave yeah she just needs to like like like if whatever if the top is like a two guard or a three guard she needs to get one below that and sort of like blend a little because there is this dislike oh my god it looks like she put a bowl on my head

there's the there's the mason dixon line right on the top a hard and fast line it's great yeah a dmZ of hair. I thought you were just kidding around. Like, honestly, it looks really good from the front. That's how I saw it. There was a mirror. I was like, oh, I turned out fine. You saw that angle.

Yeah, yeah. Like, I like it from the front. It looks good. It really does. Even, like, the sides, they're nice and, like, trimmed down. I think that looks good, too. But when you turned around, you went full Simple Jack. I had no idea.

So I have um landmarks chat open just to get a i don't know get a vibe or something i want to pay attention to it i'll show and uh it's a good 10 seconds delayed so that's the first time i saw the back of my head let me pee and i'll give you a fucking motorcycle update. Oh, awesome. So while Kyle is pissing, let's hear from someone awesome, and that is ExpressVPN. Admit it. You think that cybercrime is something that happens to other people. You may think that no one wants your data

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So I'm interested to hear Kyle's motorcycle update. Me too. I am. Do you ever bring up a bit on the show and regret it? For sure. Nothing comes to the top of my head, but you know, the motorcycle thing is my most recent one where I was like,

Hey, let's talk about the motorcycle thing. And now I've got thousands of people in chat, like buy a motorcycle, you bitch. I'm just like oh fucking no so kyle you've got some motorcycle updates for us i went ahead and ordered my helmet my uh my gloves and some boots because i need those man i got the cheapest dot rated helmet i could find

um that has no face guard or anything for uh just to take the class because you know maybe i ride i'm just like i hate this this. This hurts my back. This hurts my shoulders. I'm in it for $100 or something like that. Then the first class is $100. The second class, the classes escalate in what you're learning. The first one is learning what a motorcycle is.

This is where the brakes are and shit. It's like $100. Then it's like $250, $350 after that. You escalate. By the time you're done, you have a motorcycle license. And you've taken an advanced riding course. And you've got road time. But the bikes I'm looking at, and I just got basic bike gloves. I actually got gloves that I would wear maybe in the winter.

Do they have a shell on the back? Are they like plastic knuckles? A little bit. I could get them. They actually arrived today. Fucking Amazon's great. I'll grab them in a second. Are they just like leather? Yeah, I'll get them. They actually arrived today. They fucking Amazon's great. I'll grab them. They just like leather.

Yeah. I actually haven't looked at them yet. Well, let's see. We'll see if they even fit. Who makes, you're already all set with everything. I have all the gear.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm set. I have, uh, I guess I just have opinions about which gear is good and which gear is not. I would be happy to guide him or influence him. Hopefully, I don't know.

I've bought it all. You have so many interests. It's just so funny where it's like, I'm just a motorcycle guy. Nope, I'm a woodworking guy. Nope, I'm a flying guy. Nope, I'm a farmer now. You could be my wife with this line right here. Well, except I'm saying it in that i like that she's always like here comes another hobby you know she just bonkers about that why would well

i was about to say why would she complain it's like what i'm just about to take off god she's like oh my god my husband's taking off this guy i can see how that would be scary oh no can i not wear an extra large ah let me see the back i can't tell are they like It looks like they're molded. There's a slide point there. There's hard stuff under there. I don't know.

I got the bare minimum for what I needed. Right there. There's like a really built up heavy thing there. I like it. I don't know. They were $50 or $40 or something like that. Extra large is a little small though. Damn. Glove sizing is absurd. I like it. I don't know. They were 50 bucks or 40 bucks or something like that. Extra large is a little small, though. Damn.

Glove sizing is absurd. I'll put that right up there with hat sizing as far as fake news. Taylor's biased against hat sizing. They size those incorrectly so that everyone with an eight and a half inch sticker gets made fun of. So who makes the Vulcan? I was trying to pull it up. I didn't know. It's the Kawasaki,

the Kawasaki Vulcan S. That's one of the bikes I'm considering. I've seen mixed reviews of it on, on YouTube. All in all, it seems like kind of a beginner's bike. It's got a little bit more power than the Honda, and it's very adjustable as far as every measurement point on it that you can imagine is adjustable, the shocks and the seat and the handlebars.

So it seems like I could make it fit me well. And I'm also looking at the Indian Scout 60, the Indian Scout 60, which is very similar to the regular Indian Scout 60. Indian Scout 60, which is very similar to the regular Indian Scout. I don't remember. I accept it has a five-speed instead of a six-speed. They remove the fifth gear, I think, or something like that, and it goes straight from fourth to sixth, which shouldn't be a problem. But I like that bike a lot.

That's my favorite-looking bike I've seen. I don't like the pipes. I would probably do a two-in-to-one and black them out. But other than that, I like the Scout 60 a lot that's my favorite looking bike i've seen i don't like the pipes i probably do a two into one and black them out but other than that i like the scout 60 a lot i like the way the seat looks looks like it's gonna like keep from keep my ass in the seat keep me from flying off the back they both look nice to me uh a lower seat is a little easier you know it's really nice to be able to have both feet down at the same time uh and um and i don't know i guess that's it it's like i said it's just a little easier to handle a bike where the seat's a bit lower i feel like you've worried a lot about being too tall too low that

you're you're too tall and it won't fit you yeah i guess you have to test ride him or something and see how it fits yeah the the reviewer i'm watching is six foot three so like i've kind of been going off of him because i i uh i measured myself the other day i'm just a hair under six two so like like more than six one less than six two and um so i kind of compare myself to him for like how he sits on the bikes and he's definitely got both feet down on the indian and the kawasaki but on a rebel he's just towering over it's 24 inch seat height which just seems shockingly low it's lower than my chair is right now yeah but uh i don't know the the the indian's expensive or it's more expensive it's closer to like 8500,500, 9,000, something like that. Um, the Kawasaki I think is like 7,000 somewhere in there. You know, ABS probably adds another five or $600. I definitely

got to get ABS, but, um, but yeah, that's where I am. The Indians got a lot more power too. I think it's probably like a 750 CC by something like that. Also looking at the Harley eight, eight, three iron, but you know, I keep hearing about the, Also looking at the Harley 883 Iron. I keep hearing about the Harley engines being kind of antiquated. But I do love the look of the Harley 883 Iron. Oh, that does look pretty cool.

You know, honestly, the look of it, I think that Honda is almost as cool looking. Yeah. This is a little more party looking, but even so. I expected to like the Harley look the most, but

it might be third for me. I like the Indian look the most. What's the name of that again? Sorry, the Indian one. The Indian Scout 60. Indian Scout 60. Indian. I wonder what other colors it comes in. Indian Scout 60. Indian Scout 60. Indian Scout 60. I wonder what other colors it comes in.

Oh, it comes in a ton of colors. The Indian does. It comes in white. The white looks really nice on that one. It's white with brown accents as far as the leather parts. I would put the Indian as number one looking at this now as far as style goes. Yeah. Then the Honda, then the Harley. That's kind of where I now as far as style goes yeah i would then the honda

then the harley that's kind of where i am as far as the looks uh i kind of like the way the kawasaki looks the kawasaki also comes in a ton of colors so the crazy greens and reds and flat blacks probably gonna get a flat back flat black like matte uh matte black i like that a lot but that red indian with the brown seat also looks nice but i i don't know if i can find a good deal i'll just take anything i can get i don't like the rebel with the brown seat as much as like the dark oh interesting i like the brown seat more i think i like brown seat on the rebel yeah i like the brown seat it's a like aftermarket hand-stitched seat um i like um like it matters to me what they look like with the panniers on i'm probably

pronouncing it wrong but the side bags the saddle bags um because i like to ride with all that protective gear like the pants and stuff and i take them off and stick them on the side so it has a lot oh so those pants can go over your jeans eh yeah i'm glad you said that because i didn't know that and i'm thinking like man i'm making some real style decisions when i had a motorcycle to my looks like i'm just gonna be leather man everywhere i'm gonna look like a fucking gimp walking into the buddy i wish so much you didn't tell him they also make motorcycle pants that look like jeans and they work really well if your use case is like going into a restaurant and sitting down like no one would notice that they have a little

bit of armor here and there but uh they're hot for the summer so i prefer something to wear over the jeans and then just not have them i like that too i like that too because i'm usually going somewhere and not wanting to wear either of those things so yeah yeah i probably i like that too. I like that too. Cause I'm usually going somewhere and not wanting to wear either of those things. So yeah, yeah. I like that. I'm glad you said that.

Give me just a second. I'm going to grab my motorcycle jeans. I bet they're better than you're thinking. No, no, I, I, yeah,

I'd like to see them please. God, that hair motorcycle. I know that on retrospect, like, like, like on second thought, it does not look good from the side either.

No, I thought it did. it's really only the front. And that's why Woody was bamboozled into thinking it was okay because you can only see the front unless you do the holding back the mirror. Business in the front, special ad in the back. Business in the front, paint chips in the back. Yeah, that's so fucking funny. I like to imagine Jackie does that sort of thing with malice

to make sure that she hangs on to her man. She's maliciously giving a bad haircut. There was something else that we were talking about a long time ago. Look, I don't want to get this wrong because we can take that sort of thing personally, but maybe, maybe Jackie didn't like Woody getting nice clothes or something.

So she shopped for him and it was always something kind of not the most stylish. Uh, and, and we theorized that that was to make sure that like there weren't any ladies looking at Woody when he went out. I always, I knew that situation. My assumption was always like woody has absolutely zero interest in going clothes shopping and so jackie just did it i'm sure that is that's it too but there's got to be a reason jackie picks out the things that she does

because i have no interest in clothes shopping either that's why i bought 45 of these exact same of those carhartt button-up uh yeah t-shirts yeah oh that idiot who mislisted those for way cheaper oh motherfucker hey what's up uh wait what's that one's name i don't fucking know ender yeah yeah yeah ender come here boy i can't whistle you can't whistle no i can't whistle? No, I can't whistle. Why? I think it's because I have a fat retard tongue. I don't know. I can't. Oh, that's good.

Taylor can't whistle. I'm with him. I can't really whistle either. You're the weird one. You can't whistle? I can't either. Let us know, viewers, how many of you can whistle and how many of you have a learning disability? I've never been able to whistle.

I think it's because I'm tongue-tied. We don't do that anymore. If you give me enough time, I'll get it. Woody looks like he's trying to suckle over there. Hold on. I can do this. That I can't do.

You're making a noise. They kind of look like regular jeans. You can totally get away with these edge jeans. They do look like regular jeans you can totally get away with these as where's the they they do they look like nice jeans at that um show me the armor so the armor is this like high-tech shit it looks like flexible rubber but when you hit it it turns into like a solid that is very cool it's like a non-newtonian fluid yeah yeah that's right i i'd have to look up what it is but it's the shit the motorcyclists put in their jackets home run on that one okay i'm are those are those like 150 bucks or something 130 maybe like you're in the ballpark

yeah yeah okay that's fine all right i'll i'll have to look at some of those. I really want to get started. I end up watching these motorcycle videos, and I'm just watching them ride. It looks like a ton of fun, and I really want to bike as soon as possible. I was going to go today, but obviously with the show and my sleep schedule, there was no time to fit in a fucking motorcycle class. But I think tomorrow, I'm going to get up early and go to the airport for somebody anyway so i think i'll just stay up and uh see if i can go take that first class did you say it was an offer until october do i have i found a different i found a different school that's actually even closer to me there was one where yeah it was gonna be mid-october

but i kept looking at different schools and i found one that's a bit closer and i think they'll be i need to call them, but they didn't have that. So that thing on their website that said no. Okay. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. I want to buy a bike.

I want one now. I'm really looking forward to doing this and I hope I get out of my probation because it'd be really fun. It really, it really would be fun to like ride across the country. I'd like to do that. I'm just running out on that mission. Like, is it? No, you don't want to ride in the wintertime eh it's not that it's the so if the mission is to go to colorado i'm like do we not hit like sleet and shit in november oh

wait but there's there's no possibility you can leave the state or wait there's the one if they let you off right yeah that's what i'm talking about if it isn't i don't know it it could potentially end in is there any way to read and know how that's going to go no it's just up to the judge seemed like a nice man when he sentenced me thank you sir i will improve that's pretty much how it went hopefully that he he remembers you and he's like ah what a good lad i liked his youtube videos i'm not a dumb man but i did a dumb thing i am not a smart man i'm not a smart man i'm a retard who runs and comes up with smiley faces wow do you remember that?

That was the dumbest scene in that movie by a long shot when he dabbed his face off and they saw the smiley face and they're like, we haven't thought of this. And he told them to have a nice day. Have a nice, yeah. Forrest Gump is one of those movies, go back and rewatch it.

Not that good. It's just not. I like Forrest Gump. The best part of the movie is when that guy is listening all those movies. Go back and rewatch it. Not that good. It's just not. The best part of the movie is when that guy is listing all the types of shrimp. That's the best part of the movie. It's all downhill from the shrimp guy. Once he dies, you totally lose interest.

I like it. Dan is a mean-spirited dick. I know he lost his legs and that would make me mean-spirited too. But I didn't like that. I didn't like jenny who only shows back up when she has aids dude it is hard to like her she is just mean and rotten and she's terrible before us so right like i feel like she could have said no to him in a much nicer way. We didn't need her to be his girlfriend, but she just, she was awful.

She strung his hopes along. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I haven't watched that movie in years because it makes me sad. Me either, but I'm making a lot of assumptions. Keep up.

I just remember not liking her because she treats Forrest like shit the whole time. And then when she eventually comes back, he's immediately forgiving and accepting. And it's like, no, Forrest, you should be fucking pissed. She was awful to you for the longest time. But because you're deficient in a few ways, you're not going to call her on her shit. So I did not like that. Did Forrest fuck anyone else?

No. Forrest never fucked. He fucked. He had a baby, didn didn't he wasn't that his kid yeah it was his kid yeah yeah he fucked her that one time oh that one time you know she had aids yeah but one he didn't get the aids two he had a baby in one shot that's high t yeah sloppy Yeah, sloppy 70 seconds. Jesus Christ. I can only imagine where Jenny's body count is. Very high.

She was a whore, as Frank Reynolds would say. A whore. Is that show coming out again anytime soon? Or is it caught in that kind of rut of COVID where nobody can film? It's always sunny. Yeah. I haven't heard anything. Honestly, I'm at the point now where I hope they just end the show. The most recent season, it's just not doing it for me.

Yeah, I don't know. It's not making me laugh the way it used to make me laugh. And if you are like, oh, it's not that bad, watch a couple episodes from season three and then watch the current ones you know it's like you can't even blame them for it because they're totally different people now that's like 13 years ago but yeah yeah it's not as good uh but i'll still watch um i'm waiting on a bunch of shows to come out it seems like it's been forever since South Park came out

well South Park they're doing a whole movie oh yeah like a one hour special a special yeah it's a COVID special yeah like a pandemic special yeah I'm down for that and like and that's kind of what I've been wanting from South Park is if

what I'm anticipating is true it's that it's going to be an hour-long special about covid and then the next episode will be about something else that's silly you know that's what i'm hoping i'm hoping that they decided we're not doing the full season long arcs we'll do a big long episode on this and then we're going to get back to isolated silly stuff sure probably not right but that's what I'm hoping for. Yeah, I agree with you. I hope that's what they do. It's one of my favorite shows. For sure.

And the idea of doing an hour-long thing. They're really good at that. I mean, they've made a couple of movies that were all good, at least the South Park movies. Oh, the South Park movie, Bigger, Longer, and Uncut? Hilarious. I didn't know that was a dick joke when I was a kid. I didn't know.

I know. I bought that when i was when did that come out when did the south park movie come out 2000 yeah like like forever ago i didn't i didn't i didn't know what uncut meant uh it i i mean i knew what it meant as far as film goes so i assumed it meant like oh yeah they didn't cut anything out. You're muted. Ambusel. I keep hitting M, which I set to my mute key. Probably a bad decision.

I should choose something less often typed. Or just try to avoid words with the letter M in them. It's true. That's another option. I said so many people being like, make a fucking hotkey for mute, you fucking retard. You're playing Among Us. I was like, okay, don't be mad.

So, yeah, that was a bunch of fun. I want to do that again. I have to win over your constituents, basically, if I want to have any chance of winning. It's a tough road to hoe. It's going to be. Yeah yeah i know most of those guys i play with most of those guys like every night almost um like fish and uh and uh ikea desk and guys like that i play a lot of uh code names with them and uh whatever whatever they're into so i know all those guys and especially like midi and class i've been playing with them for like six years yeah i'm

i'm uh i'm always suspicious of of class and midi because they're very tricky they'll play it up like they're not being tricky but class and midi are fucking tricky yeah i don't want to denigrate the uh the the the 50 patrons but you know my friends are real smart that's why i picked them like these are people that i that i can have a conversation with and uh and so so all those guys are pretty smart and uh like i wish that we had gotten scum and urban in there too because because they're just as good uh scum got got left out at the end unfortunately but yeah among us is interesting it's a it's a really interesting game i i like it more now than i did before we all played together uh that was really fun though i i really liked uh like when when you and woody were just like

we don't want to die first this is enough of us die first and class and i just came down and immediately double killed both of you it was like yes it is so frustrating having to immediately mute be like god damn it there there were how many games that you killed me first right off the bat out of spite four games out of what 14 we played a third of the time you were fucking me up oh yeah i did not care for that a third of the time you were fucking me up oh yeah i did not care for that i was trying to run away at every instance and then if i ran away too fast i would have someone else on my case being like he was over there in oxygen doing nothing it's like i don't know where i was i don't know i was afraid i was afraid i didn't know where to go i was frightened i was trying to fix the wires and the leaves.

Yeah, it's an interesting game. It really makes people turn on each other. I don't get mad when people kill me because now I'm a ghost and I can just do my tasks faster. Yeah, I only mind if I get killed if I'm the imposter. Yeah, everybody likes playing as the imposter. I guess people who don't have friends have to play in random lobbies. And what people will do is they'll join. And if they're not the imposter, they'll fucking leave so it makes it really hard to get like a random game oh that's lame yeah so you really need a group of friends to play with for it to be

fun like uh like it was well it was good like i'm i'm glad you have a cultivated group of guys who all have mic setups and everything because i was thinking i'm like oh i would love to do among us with some real life friends of mine and then i was like oh there's zero percent chance that would work they would all be screaming into laptop mics across the room and it would sound horrific yeah yeah that's one of the other things that's really great about our uh $50 patrons it seems like they all went and got a fucking mic setup and a mixer and a headset. It's very rare that they've got shit equipment. And if they do, we just shame them until they go buy

new equipment anyway. Although it's funny the other day. Late great Daniel, RIP, just purchasing and returning something every single week from Best Buy. Yep. What an exhaustive. A man who had plenty of money. He had plenty of money

to purchase that shit with. I guess it was just a spike thing. Just wasn't letting big Best Buy get one over on him. Yeah, big Best Buy. That titan of a company ruling the electronic universe, Best Buy. Them and Radio Shack holding it down with

Circuit City and the Wings. What was the store that you universe best buy them in radio shack holding it down with circuit city and in the wings what was the the the store that you were most excited to go to as a child and then as like like like a young adult toys r us for sure when i was a kid toys r us as a kid i loved toys r it was it was it was christmas in and of itself being brought to toys r us and being like oh my god there's of itself being brought to toys r us and being like oh my god there's aisles of shit that i'm interested in so that willy wonka movie it's like so much stuff to play with like like it's awesome i love going to toys r us and i didn't get to go often like we would drive past it we would go um where i'm from there's like two medium-sized cities like if you want to go watch a movie and eat at something fancier than fucking waffle house and you've got to drive-sized cities like if you want to go watch a movie and eat at something

fancier than fucking waffle house and you've got to drive 40 minutes so like if you want to go to like red lobster and see a movie you've got to go to anderson south carolina or athens georgia home of the bulldogs go dogs and uh we go to uh driving into anderson toys r us would be on the right side of the road but right before you got to like all the stuff we were heading to and i just remember as a kid always just being like can we can we no no you can't go you little bitch we're going where we want i probably went four times in my entire life i've been to six flags more times than I've been to Toys R Us. They did not take me to Toys R Us.

This is why you're so fucked up. It might be. I went to the gun store a lot, though, so that kind of made up for it. That's what I really wanted. Oh, even as a kid, though? No, you wanted that Toys R Us. You wanted to be getting all the new Legos, everything, right? No, I wanted a new scope

for my remington 700 and some and some ballistic tipped ammunition so that it would explode inside the deer that was my okay well then you had a pretty good childhood in that way yeah it was awesome so much blood but as a young as an adult as like a young adult like maybe 16 to like 25 it was best buy really like yeah i loved going to best buy and getting new electronics getting new tvs or whatever like like i loved going and that's where the video games were too if you were just buying off a shelf if you didn't have a game stop near you or blu-rays whenever that became a thing and i started just collecting actually first it was dvds and i was collecting dvds like every time i'd go at it by two or three more but you feel like a retard when blu-ray came out who did i ever you you

loaded up on an on an obsolete technology yeah i threw them away i threw so many dvds away because it was like i was moving and i was like the fuck am am I going to do with 85 DVDs? And I started thinking, will these ever be worth anything? No. Will I ever watch them again out of nostalgia just to see it in lower definition? No,

never. They're going in the fucking trash. I had my girlfriend put up, put everything on eBay and whatever sold within 30 days got sold and she shipped it off for me. But the stuff that didn't got thrown in the fucking trash because it was obsolete technology that nobody fucking wants. And I'm not hanging on to this matrix DVD until 2050 when it's worth something.

And it wouldn't be worth anything in 2050. It might. The matrix DVD, the original might be worth something in 2050, but we'll never fucking know. But yeah, Best Buy was the big one for me. That was my adult version of Toys R Us. Cause like the new, the new TVs and the,

you know, the smell of that place, it smelled like, it smelled like glue. Like the, like it smelled like, it did always smell weird. It smelled like,

like it kind of, it was like a new car smell, but it was like a new car smell but it was like a new electronic smell it's that it's that glue smell of like tvs heating up and burning off the glue and bullshit that's inside of them and you could smell it every time you walked in there i'm almost the opposite of what i would have expected you to say like i had more fun in cabela's and dicks and bass pro when I was like 14, 15, 16 than Toys R Us. Just fucking around, looking at knives,

looking at guns, imagining the possibility of me camping and getting enough of a high off of the imagination that it's like, I don't need that. That was fun. You should have been on that fucking survival trip with us. I should have. I would have been a titan. A titan of

survival i would have had so many fat stores to burn off dude i wouldn't have needed food we all lost so much weight like well you got you got very sick so that's why you lost weight oh that's the first survival trip when it was just me and woody and i drank fucking river water i'm having a second one with me chis woody and um that british gentleman who recorded for us whose name's escaping me right now it was so oppressively hot like i kept saying like we should go in the fall and woody was like oh this is the fall and i'm thinking like i in my head i was like august something like that oh that's summer but in my head i was like it's not august in georgia though i mean it's not it's not it's not fall in georgia like fall

in georgia doesn't happen until like like right now like in late september almost october this would be the time to go the night times are not cold the night time we're just now getting fall and it's like 72 degrees at night. Yes, exactly. It's really pleasant at night. I went out last night and I'm like, fuck, this feels really nice. I got the windows down driving in the car. That would have been the time to go. Instead, the days were oppressively

hot and humid and the mosquitoes were eating us alive and then the nights it barely cooled down. It cooled down enough that you weren't continuously sweating well that's awful yeah you should have been there for that one motherfucker that was a goddamn

nightmare that was a guy it was just me and chis sitting there in the heat sweating smoking cigarettes and like being like where the fuck is woody where is he where is he i bet he's in his truck again with the air conditioning on yeah you know he is you know he is charging the batteries you guys just getting angry back at

camp imagining the luxury he's sitting in yeah because i mean look to be fair he was charging the batteries we needed the batteries charged but they'd always sit in the air conditioning while they did it and i was just like i should have charged the batteries i could have found the muffin man again yeah i remember like digging around in like the back seat of my truck for like any food that i had left back there and there was none like like just hoping that there was like i don't know a power bar or something that slipped not a bag of peanuts from a gas station or something a bag from a gas station a bag of peanuts like those oh yeah you broke up momentarily yeah nothing i found a a

gatorade with like this much in it it was like i remember it was blue gatorade and i just remember being like so good it's so good i've had nothing but process. I love it. It's hot Gatorade. That hot Gatorade was so fucking tasty. Cause Woody had this water filter that you had to like pump and it would make noises when you, it was like, yeah, it was like,

I think it was older and you'd pump for 30 seconds and you'd get this much water. And it was just as you'd pump for 30 seconds and you'd get this much water. And it was lame as shit. So we would take turns pumping everyone's water and, and filling the water bottles up and your whole arm would be sore by the time you put, you pumped out 40 ounces of water and I got a gallon a day and that's a lot of, of pumping.

I say hydrated. It, uh, it was, it always tasted funny. Like it tasted sort of pumping. I gotta say, hydrated. It always tasted funny. It tasted sort of like, I don't know, it had like a film to it. Like it would leave a film in your mouth and it tasted kind of like a chemical. And the water we were starting with was disgusting.

It was like there was a beaver dam there. And on the backside of beaver dams, it's where they hang out. And it's just full of beaver shit. Wait, you were filtering from the backside of beaver dams, it's where they hang out. And it's just full of beaver shit. Wait, you were filtering from the backside of the dam? No. Now that I think about it, they were – Woody was bathing in the backside of the dam. Oh, no. That's disgusting.

But what do you say when he's already waist deep in it and he's stomping around? Hey, there's beaver shit. You want to go downstream? no i caught him he's just like sudsing up getting that like like getting that beaver shit in his ears and stuff and i'm like oh oh he didn't just start bathing downstream i i went way on downstream so it was fast moving water and like got on my, and keep in mind while it's hot outside, it's freezing in the water. The water is so cold.

And I just like got on my knees and like sat on my heels and I would do like a, like a Muslim prayer type thing to like get water all over me, force myself to get super Sophie and then repeat that process until I was clean again. And that would last an hour before I was so sweaty. It was gross. And then you had to make your way back to the camp where on the way you would get sweaty again and then sit there and smoke cigarettes with Chiz. Yeah. And just wait for time to pass before you murdered that chicken. I was not on board for the chicken murder. I did not like that. I didn't like that at all.

I felt awful about that. As someone who didn't go, that was the funniest part. Well, as long as it was entertaining, I guess, then it was worth it. But I felt terrible about it. Poor Henrietta. And she tasted so bad. We boiled her for way too long. You want boiled chicken meat?'s just the the least flavorful

thing on earth the idea was it was going to be some sort of a soup you know like we'd make like chicken soup but it just didn't turn out that way yeah you guys should have brought supplies to fry it uh yeah yeah i think i suggested that maybe but we settled on boiling or something some some earl some earl some earl some some corn batter do your from the south do your family members from the south call it earl you know my dad is the uh he i don't remember when he started doing it but he like he makes a point of saying oil and he says it in such a way to to let you know like haha i'm saying it the right way because it's funny not because i don't want to sound like an idiot he goes oil

like he kind of makes a joke out of saying it the right way because no one else says it the right way they say all all they just let it they just kind of open their mouths and let it flow out like it is oil oil you know oil change all oh why oil i wrote to you guys to let you know i was going to be gone for a minute i never hit enter so i came back and there's no i'm like ah they had no idea it's my mom's birthday and i hadn't called her and i didn't want i never forget to call her so no worries ducked out that's more important what a good son a better son would have called earlier but uh but i didn't miss that's what she said anyway she told me all sorts of new things um my father how's she doing yeah what kind of gun so she didn't know exactly but i

imagined it to be i know it was a pistol and he said that he's going to swap it out for a revolver my father's 72 and he had a hard time um loading the magazine so it would like it i don't know his hands are 72 years old so it's hard to like get the bullets in the magazine so he's going to try revolver which should be it nice oh so he got a revolver or he just got the semi it seems like he has the semi now and he enjoyed shooting it but like the rest of the ownership experience wasn't a fit mostly the loading the bullets in the mag so they make mag loaders um two different kinds there's the one that you're probably familiar with it goes over the top of the magazine you just press down and hit with your thumb and

then slide the bullet in but there's another one that's like probably familiar with. It goes over the top of the magazine. You just press down on it with your thumb and then slide the bullet in. But there's another one that's like a whole mechanism that's, you know, like this big. And you slide the magazine in and you pull like a handle and it does that for you. And it's really easy. So a lot of guys who have arthritic hands use those. Or you get yourself a load boy. Which isn't as dirty as it sounds. I think that his use case was like reloading in an emergency. And I started to say something about, well, a lot of times you might have like multiple magazines ready to go, but I think that his mind was made up on the revolver idea.

eight shot revolver. That's very slick. Uh, that might be, that might be more his flavor over a six shooter or a five shooter, you know, more bullets is, is better. Get some extra freedom seeds in there. I, uh, I tried to offer a little advice. I really liked the Ruger six to six. I think it might be a seven. And, um, uh, but the vibe I got was that, um, he has a friend who's a gun expert and that's where he'd rather take his advice from. So that's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

I like revolvers a lot. She's like, you have one, right? I'm like, I'm not sure how many I have, but I've got guns. Yeah.

Revolvers are absolutely the most aesthetically pleasing of all guns. They look the coolest. There's just, I don't know in my head at least there's nothing that competes with just how fucking cool a revolver looks or if it's a long gun those lever action rifles those just look so sick i didn't originally think that and i currently do i think lever guns are super neat and by the way you can shoot them faster and your target acquisition isn't as lost as you might think. Like for me anyway, if I use a bolt, I'm almost starting fresh on finding that target.

Almost. But with a lever action, it's just a step away from semi-auto in my arms. I don't know if Kyle agrees or disagrees. I do, 100%. And I used to think revolvers were lame old people guns. Now I'm like, can I get one like the cowboys where you spin it and load it

one at a time? You can. You can. What are those called? The Colt, Cowboy, whatever the fuck where you have to spin the cylinder as you put it in one at a time?

I don't know what they're called, but we're talking about some revolvers, the cylinder comes all the way out when you press release. And some of them, you just pull a little cover off to the side and you go one bullet at a time as you spin the cylinder. I don't know what that's called. I don't know what the proper way to spell it is.

That's the old-timey kind, and that's kind of cool. Well, the old-timey kind is black powder, where there's a packing mechanism at the end of the barrel that you have to pull down. Okay, peg leg, you're going a little too far. I want the functional level of history. No newfangled cartridges for me. Why do I

need to carry nine pistols? What should I search for? Not cowboy revolver. It's not showing me the side like I want. Usually when we have conversations like this, I try to augment it with pictures for the viewers. Look up revolver from a long time ago.

Should I really do cowboy revolver isn't giving me the hits i wanted what is the name of that there's probably a name for that action i don't know maybe i'm taking too long on this topic but um yeah anyway yeah some of my tastes have evolved i used to be all about i guess like current nato standards and now i'm like you know cowboy shit's where it's at i think it's just the colt single action style revolver but it also says that a cowboy load is when you just, or wait, that's when I don't fucking know. I'm not clicking the video. Oh,

you're on YouTube. I think they call it a loading gate or a trap door. What to do with a revolver, the trap door loading gate. If you're, if your gun works with a loading gate, then you'll have to open it. Then you'll find it.

It's at the back of the cylinder. And in this case, you expect movement for the road. Yeah. I think it's called a loading gate or a trap door. So, Chad, a loading gate works like this. And you have to spin, I guess it's called the wheel, and take one out and put a fresh one in,

and that's your sort of access to it. And I don't know what the other kind is called. I guess I could look up like Ruger 626. I think it's ruger and i just always say yeah the one where the cylinder swings out yeah right like it is curiously hard to find one that's open but revolvers are fucking cool you know they um they, um, they're nice and heavy. They're, they're often really good target target guns. I like double action revolvers.

I think they're safer than a semi-automatic cause the, especially a double action. It's hard to accidentally pull that fucking trigger. I don't know. You can always see if it's loaded really quickly. Um, and you feel like dirty hairy right or um like as taylor was saying indubitably revolvers are cooler i'm like walking dead agrees you know that yeah

they gave the big bad guy it's a python i think uh rick always had a python i think a big old cool python i don't know that anyone else had like a badass revolver in the you're muted taylor and a badass revolver in the whole show what uh what count is that is a python of 44 probably comes in a couple carat uh calibers um most most most of them come you know 357 magnum uh 44 Special, 44 Magnum. Those calibers are pretty ubiquitous. And a 38... Yep. Yeah, 38s will go

into a 357 Magnum cylinder. And a 44 Special will go into a 44 Magnum? You know, I don't know that for sure, because I'm not a pussy, and I like to shoot the 44 Magnums off. I don't know. What's the power rating? You need to learn that so you can advise Taylor.

Is a.44 Special more powerful than a.357 Magnum? That's interesting. It really depends on how they're loaded, what the load is, because with a.44 Magnum, you can have 240 grain fucking bullets, but I don't think they go as fast as a.357 Magnum because you can load .357 Magnums up to like 1400 feet per second or something like that really fast.

I think you would want to come down to like how many foot pounds of energy are being exerted and the.44 Magnum almost certainly wins that. It does. It does win that but they're both very powerful. The.44 Special is smaller than the Magnum. No, I know, but I'm saying the 44 Special versus the 357 Magnum.

Is the 357 Magnum more powerful? I don't know. I never looked into what the specifications are for going from the Magnum round to the Special round, like how much you need to back up. Is it like a powder amount? It's a powder amount, and oftentimes a cartridge length amount you know it's a it's a but the uh i never had a 44 special i don't think i've ever even shot one but i've got a lot of experience with the 44 magnum

and the 357 magnum and uh i mean shit they're both super fucking powerful you can you can hunt deer with a 44 magnum what do you even like as far as verse another person it doesn't seem like there's any reason to go for a 44 over a 357 so my grandpa was a trucker in the 70s and he said he kept a 44 magnum revolver with him just in case and it was just like that's so that seems like such overkill you know where it might not be seven my father-in-law i think kept a 44 because in new jersey uh there's a bear problem and if you're going to carry a pistol i i don't know if any pistol solves the problem i don't know what kyle's thinking right now but best effort perhaps i think uh i i think like park

rangers in some areas with high bear densities carry 10 millimeter they do 10 millimeter uh glocks and stuff like that high capacity 10 millimeters again something i have very little experience with i shot some 10 millimeter submachine guns but i don't know a lot about the round i never did that thing that um i did with a lot of other calibers where i shot ballistics gel and shot so many different kinds of targets that i got a real feel for uh for uh what they what they did to like a melon versus an animal versus uh ballistic gel you know steel and and i mean the mannequins were mostly silly but you get a pretty good idea of of what they would do to a person's clothes at least you know you see the massive hole that it tears on the back side.

If I were getting a self-defense, fuck that. If I were getting a revolver to be cool, because that's what you're getting a revolver to fuck around with. You get the.357 Magnum and then you can put the.38 wad cutters in it and shoot it so cheap and no recoil.

A wad cutter. It's a style of bullet. It's basically just like shooting a cylinder. It's like a copper-jacketed lead cylinder that's coming out. It's flat on both ends of the bullet. It's practice ammo, just very low-recoil shit, very cheap. And then you can start with that, especially if you're a lady or you're

new to guns in the bot in the frame of a 357 magnum revolver it's just cap cap cap not even that it'd be less recoil than that i mean i guess if i really pussy wristed it it might do that but even worth because with that though 357 magnum has has the bulk and density and strength to handle that big round. You put the little one in, it's so heavy it barely jerks. That makes sense. But I mean, if you were trying to get better with it, would that even help? Yeah. Yeah.

Because you're going through the motions. You're going through the motions. You're getting a little recoil. You're getting the pop. A big part of getting good with guns, honestly, is getting rid of that flinch. recoil you're getting the pop uh big part of like getting good with guns honestly is getting rid of that flinch getting rid of the getting rid of any fear of the gun of the noise of the gun of the recoil of the gun being able to look down the site squeeze the trigger and watch the vapor trail as your bullet arcs out there hits the target and watch the target come to pieces so you know what

you did because you got you got to learn from your mistakes so if you're not watching that happen it's kind of hard to see the mistake i've had the problem with when shooting handguns at ranges of like anticipating myself flinching and so like over correcting i feel like to the downward right angle and i i haven't shot a handgun in a while that's definitely something that i've done where i i anticipate you're probably gonna fuck up and jerk it and then i over correct and end up shooting low right that's the scenario where a 38 might help right like because you don't get a big because the 38 doesn't make you want to flinch you can get develop good mechanics yeah my dad trained me to not have that um uh bench shooting you know i always even as a kid, I wanted the biggest, most powerful rifle I could get. So at 12, I got a 7mm Magnum with 175

grain bullets and it kicked the fucking shit out of me. That's a very stout.30 caliber rifle and I'd be on the bench rest and he'd load the bullets while I shot long range and he'd put a bullet in every third bullet.

So if I flinched, I'd be like bullet. So if I flinched, I'd be like, what happened? I flinched. Yep, can't flinch. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, click. Alright. And then there'd be a fucking bullet in it the next time. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, kabam! So much more accurate

if you're not fucking flinching before you shoot. Your dad really set you up for success in the future he didn't know you would have you've never done that what's that i've done that too with a pistol though i have um i don't know what they're called plastic bullets of some sort it's supposed to make dry snap caps yeah so uh someone else loads a 17 rounder in there two of them are snap caps and if you flinch on the snap caps you're a piece of shit you're you're straight up piece of shit you're not 200 you're a piece of shit yeah we were really serious about hunting that's what it was you know we we uh we took deer hunting very very seriously and uh you know we hand loaded our ammunition. We practiced a lot and we hunted every day, twice a day and killed a slew of deer.

So he wasn't like a throw the football around, throw the baseball around, play hockey in the driveway or basement kind of dad at all. Just we play the baseball. We do the baseball a lot. But then when I got tired of doing that, we completely pretty much switched to guns, especially around the hunting seasons. So, you know, shotgun and rifle mostly and pistols just for fun i was you know never had a ton of pistol experience uh but mostly bolt action rifles and uh and and shotguns and fixing cars and fixing cars yeah we did a lot of that i got my dad only a couple times and yeah it was way more us playing hockey in the basement dad son time than it was gun time you know different areas i guess like we

didn't have a place in living in st louis where you could just drive and go shoot on a nice outdoor open range for the most part yeah we always had guns in the car you know there was always a 22 pistol on 12 gauge shotgun in the in the car a pistol in the glove box and you know a shotgun in the toolbox uh so like you know for anything just always shooting them you know all the fucking time my sixth grade project my big sixth grade project you had to do at the end of the year was me standing there and shooting different loads from a 12-gauge into a plywood board like 20 feet away and gauging the level of damage. And that was fun. But, you know.

Nobody in New Jersey did that. No. Yeah. It sounds a little different. Yeah. We did all sorts of redneck silliness because there's just nothing to fucking do here so you know like like uh we would we would have rat shoots you know what i mean like we'd take a 12 gauge shotgun and stick it down the rats holes like they would tunnel all under concrete pads and blast under there and the pressure wave would

blow out their eardrums so they'd come staggering out the holes all fucked up and then we i'd do a will 22 pistols fucking shooting them as they ran around that's hilarious it was a lot of fun dual wheel thing 22 pistols just just just killing rats yeah that's fun we on the farm the the thing we had the most fun with was tying a big plastic panel to the back of atvs and then sitting on it and having someone else drag you around like in the fields and like whip you around especially on snow on snow that shit was dangerous it we shouldn't have been able to but then there are other times there was we we had a Missouri thick, lush, green plants everywhere, forest everywhere, bugs everywhere. And I remember once we we would bring friends down to my grandparents house to hang out and fool around.

I'm maybe 13, 14, and I would drive the four wheeler while this big plastic tarp was tied by a rope about 15 feet back. And it, you know, the way those tarps go is they scoop up into a U shape there when they get pulled. And I looked back at one point and my buddy Hayden Hayden, now a streamer,

uh, I just looked back and I was expecting him to be having such a, the time of his life having so much fun. And he was like, they're bugs! Scooped in a U-shape in the middle of the summer. It was just hundreds of crickets

and cicadas being thrown into the space. Very good time for me. By the way, Taylor, the guy that you thought may have been stream sniping, you messaged me. He says, I wasn't stream sniping Taylor. I felt bad that he was dying every round, but that was really fun. I didn't realize we only had to,

had, uh, to kill one to win. Oh, I, I, I don't even know who it was who was stream sniping me. Like I was,

yeah, well, he apparently, I'm sure he didn't. I was, you know, it was, it was,

it was Ikea desk. Oh, it was like, well, I, I i i deem him innocent i liked desk he he helped me out a couple times when i was really up shit creek in the discussion panel i thought someone was stream sniping too sometimes yeah somebody said something one time like um that that indicated maybe they were but but i don't know um it was really only time there was one other time but i don't recall if it was that overt but it was the one time this one was like oh you're smiling you're smiling while you say that i can only vouch i can only vouch for midi in class and uh and and whoever else was in there from my little private Discord. Those guys don't cheat.

We were playing Trivial Pursuit the other day with some of the patrons. And one of them was definitely 100% cheating at fucking Trivial Pursuit. What was the question that put it over the line? It was something about which country had built a temple in hawaii and it was japan and it was like how would anyone know that that's what i would have guessed it wasn't just that one it was like 40 questions in a row like my team went on a real run and got like three or four pies pie slices and i think we tripped up when we didn't know what mythological creature was spawned

by Medusa's blood. It's a mythological creature? Yeah. Now in the movie it's scorpions. That's what I was trying to remember. It's not that? It's not that. Is it a chimera?

There were two answers and one of them was pegasus and i don't remember the other one i would guess chimera but i don't know yeah i googled it after the fact and it was well i think they said it was pegasus and but there was another one uh but in any case like we we didn't get that one. Then they went on this run that lasted 20 fucking minutes. After 10 minutes, I was like, they're cheating. I'm going to sit here and be polite and not say anything until they win.

Then I'm leaving. That's what we did. They were fucking cheating. I won't say who, but there was a guy who was fucking cheating. I know it wasn't Dean because he's awesome. You said that they had that one question. Were there other more ridiculous

ones? Yeah, I just don't recall them. It was just one after another. Triple Pursuits is a game where it's a question every 30 seconds and for like 20 minutes. They literally nailed like 40 fucking questions in a row and like we've gone on i've gone on runs before where i win a game in like 15 questions and and

you know the three of us get 15 questions right it'll be like who's the father and the fox tv show family guy you know you get a bunch of easy questions in a row but they had like eight or nine hard fucking questions so they. The one guy was just cheating. It's whatever. But it's best not to play games where cheating is possible, I guess, when you're dealing with that many people. That's why I like code names. And obviously among us, as long as I guess they could stream snipe you, but they're not doing that to me. Clearly.

Yeah. I mean, I don't even mind being stream sniped. I just don't want to be killed in the beginning every single fucking time tough yeah yeah you you really ensured that happened every time i it got to the point that when we're joining the game i'd be like i'm almost positive there's no way kyle will be the imposter again but i'm not standing next to him like i would be in the middle of tasks, and if I saw you coming up, I'm fucking out of there. I'm not risking it. But that game is

fun. I really enjoyed Among Us. We should stream stuff like that more often. Anytime you want. They're going to play tonight. I mean, they're going to play tonight. There'll be a whole bunch of them playing. If you want to jump in on that. I don't think I have much to do. not we'll see

but i mean combined woody with our viewership we were on the top page like the top page of among us which pretty pretty fucking neat you know we're an okay job so that's fun i don't know i i find twitch is do you remember starting youtube and like looking at your metrics and being like, oh, neat. I'm doing better. I'm improving. I'm like reliving that same thing with Twitch now off the start where it's like refreshing, where it's, oh, that's really cool. Like I hit another metric. I hit another goal.

So I don't know. After a while, YouTube got to be like, I don't know that after a while, YouTube got to be like, yeah, I don't really care what my views are. I don't really care about all that stuff. Like I'm not getting monetized anyway on most of this shit, but I don't know.

It's like a refreshing little reintroduction mentally the way I was just obsessed YouTube wise in like 2010, 2011. I like the metrics, but I don't know. i have a softer way of judging how my stuff's going you know did everyone like it how was the mood in the chat you know how did i do how did like if i finish it and well if the metrics are great that's great but if i feel like this was a good time and that every went well that I like a lot. That's definitely true.

Like if I can look back and be like, Oh, there was a couple of real good bits in there while I was watching hoarders. I'm more proud of that. Or if someone clips something where I usually inadvertently do something funny, like that,

that's how it goes. But yeah, I'm having a ton of fun on Twitch. I'm glad. I'm glad you're on board. Woody. I know Kyle, you're,

you're holding off holding off i was thinking of publishing a schedule thinking like i should stick to a schedule you should yeah like you got the time the the free you know yeah whatever you want to do you should make one i mean i invested in a gong in for a penny in for a pound there you go once you know the old saying once you have a gong, the schedule comes soon. It makes perfect sense to me. Tale as old as time. I'm so glad you got the gong.

That's a great gimmick. I know, I know. Oh, God, I wish. I wish. Now I wish you had, like, Colin wearing a rice patty hat, and you'd be like, Colin, gong time

and he'd come running into the room and fucking he just rotates members of his family that they have to duty hope sorry jackie it's thursday get out of bed we got gonging to do yeah that's a good that's a good one oh wait i just realized we should call them gong hits and do a marijuana joke the possibilities are endless time baby um uh oh i had a topic did you see california is banning gas powered cars yeah by like 2030 or something uh it's 2035 so 15 years and i exaggerated a bit so here's what they're doing they're he's ordered them to come up with rules that will enable them to ban the sale of new gas powered cars in california by 2035 so you still be able to buy

used you'll still be able to sell your use buy and sell used gas cars but obviously they will phase out you know they don't last forever i'm guessing you can't register them from out of i don't know i don't know the details but yeah that occurred to me too right just go over state lines buy them and bring them and but uh um they're getting rid of they're aspiring to phase out gas cars 15 years that's a long time but it's also not forever from now it's a long time for other legislation to get passed like if you're trying to garner cheap quick support it's probably pretty easy as a politician to make a promise for something monumental 15 years from now you know like oh we're gonna we're gonna get this fucking handled it's all gonna be taken care

of i saw i the quick chief support part i saw it in a related way i'm like you're in the there he's in the middle of a wildfire and it's like oh he wants to get this done and the timing is right the state's on fire and adjacent states now is, now is the day to do it right. Like, like not just the year to do it. Like it's, it's so perfect right now, even five weeks from now,

maybe these fires will be out and they'll have missed their window. This is the window. Couldn't be a wider open right now. I saw some video where there was a guy just with like a BIC lighter standing on the side of the road like lighting a fire like some some you know arsonist guy and like people stopped and were like what the fuck are you doing no i'm just uh i'm just throwing trash away and it was like no you're you're fucking you just put a little fire right there motherfucker what are you doing

but yeah it's weird to me that the state's on fire in north carolina don't do this and take this as fact you could try to start a fire you could start a fire next to a tree and it won't burn like the shit's so wet here you need that tree to have fallen two and a half years ago for it to burn properly that's how it is yeah you know we were talking about the survival trip a little bit when you were gone it was hard to find wood that was dry like everything like smoked like like and steamed when we'd finally get a fire going and throw the wood on there it was all wet it's so wet here like yeah i don't know i've started fires out in like yosemite and stuff and uh oh yeah it's super easy

like you barely need kindling that's how texas. You put a match under an inch thick branch and it just starts burning. It's super easy. Everything's all brittle too. Like if you find a stick, it's a snap, like a loud snap. Here it might just fall apart. Like you tear the wood apart. It's all rotted if it's on the ground. Yeah, a wet rot.

Out west they get this dry rot that turns turns it into flammable sawdust. Yep. They have a very... Very conducive to fires. Yeah, that's the phrasing I'm hunting for. So, yeah, anyway, they feel like they're going to lead the way on some climate change improvement. I don't know. So here's the deal. I'm not, I guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite on the whole electric car thing. I want you to have one, but it's not a good fit for me. Uh, one thing I do is I tend to tow

like across several States and, uh, that uses so much energy like it heck i might i was gonna tow to florida tonight but i'm gonna end up taking a hotel room instead the point is i would have two or three hour and a half long refuels dude that sucks you know that's four and a half hours of charging to drag a trailer down to florida yeah it's no good for you right but uh until batteries get much better sure um or if i don't understand why charging is so hard like it seems like no matter what it takes an hour to charge but i'm like why can't i have like six battery packs and charge them all in 12 minutes i don't know why that doesn't work or six minutes or whatever it would be at 12 but um it's it's what it is so uh for me being able to refuel in

two minutes is a really cool thing yeah yeah i agree with you 100 like if you're going on a road trip electric doesn't work i saw an electric bike the other day that looked fucking like it was out of something out of i don't even know what movie something out of um some futuristic nonsense it didn't look real that would be fucking cool i bet the torque on that is just nonsense my friend hasn't oh you talk about electric motorcycle electric motorcycle okay yeah i and i went you said bike bicycle yeah my friend has an electric mountain bike and uh he's really into mountain biking and he's a really fit guy but he's older than me so like you know like he's not as fit as he was he used to be a a really good runner he was like a few seconds off uh world

records like shit that means a lot you know a few seconds he's like i was i'll make it up i'm four seconds off the world record but i'm also the 600th fastest person you know like like it's a jesus you know but um it's pretty serious though i mean yeah but it's a few hours faster than us yes right so uh uh so now that even though he's older like he's he's really fit he's he's thinner than i am he's you know he's strong and um but he got an electric mountain bike and he's really enjoying it he's older like he's he's really fit he's thinner than i am he's you know he's strong and um but he got an electric mountain bike and he's really enjoying it he's like there used to be like like let's say there was a hill and i wanted to bomb down i'd think twice about like what i wanted to do and now he's like i can choose how hard it is on the way up sometimes he likes to work it up

sometimes he likes to to make it easy on himself. Yeah, that sounds cool. And just adding to his enjoyment. I fucking love it. And I'm talking about him like he's old. I'm just trying not to dox him. He's not that old. He's fit. But shit.

Fucking take your advantage if you want to. You've earned it. So yeah, the electric stuff can be really cool. Electric motorcycles are really cool. I want to see Long Way Up,'t i haven't found it yet i think it's on apple plus but i think i've mentioned i keep mentioning it it's the ewan mcgregor charlie bore foreman motorcycle thing oh yeah so uh um they have electric motorcycles in it this time. So I want to see how it went for them. Yeah, some of them look cool.

I'm actually looking at some now. I'm hoping this isn't a concept, but look at this. Finish electric motorcycle rock sweet hubless rim motor. I don't like that. It looks like an Xbox. And I especially don't like that back wheel. What the fuck? It's rimless. I like it.

You like that? I don't understand it yet. I don't know how, like... Is it also handle-less? How the hell is that left handle floating? Ignore that. Ignore that handle. What the fuck? 67 horsepower electric motor for a top speed around 100. What the

fuck? 67 horsepower. What's that in cc's? It's like a 500 cc. I don't know. I don't know how they I would 750. Yeah, maybe. I have a 650, but it's not a very powerful

650. And I think I only go like 90 95 so this would be a little more you know 700 750 compared yeah i bet it accelerates like fucking crazy though yeah it looks wildly uncomfortable to sit on let me look again let's see i don't know about that. Hmm. This doesn't capture my... I don't look at this and say, oh my god. Yeah, me either. Yeah. Yeah, I don't love it. Look at this spaceman.

Astronaut, probably. But look at him. Look at him crawling outside the space station looking at earth that is so scary this scares you dude i don't i don't want to be i would give anything to do this no dude i do not want to be on the outside in space i would cut off your face and wear it to the interview if that's what they needed me to do. Why would they want me? I don't know, but they wanted me to wear your face.

Now, we're trying to make sure that the future astronauts are all retarded streamers. You fit the qualification. Oh, no, they wouldn't want you. They wouldn't be fooled by my tailor mask disguise. We do have tripleXL helmets.

I'm glad you asked. I feel like... I imagine it's fitting very poorly. Oh, that's just scary. Going on... You're floating in space at that point. When you let go, you're just floating in space. Fuck yeah.

All of fucking eternity is out there when you look out that's scary agrees with you he goes why is this so terrifying to watch it looks like the pinnacle of a life to me like oh my god i would do this yeah what do you do this what you you would what do you do anything like this they're fucking buckled in dude like they're not they're not out there on their own and right you know you have to clip in and they have two clips right so you unclip one as you clip in the next and that's how you move from place to place um oh thank god and they have jetpacks too some of them i thought they were mostly like space parkouring, like jumping to a different... Parkour!

Your way is funnier. My imagination of what space work is like is so much scarier than reality. Oh, man. That's scary, dude. I would not want to fuck around with that shit. Although I guess if you're up that high, are you kind of... No, I mean the space station or whatever it's in it's not big enough to pull you back in or anything with gravity like

you're you're fucked if you slip out of out of reach you're just gonna float until you run out of oxygen and then you're going to asphyxiate what a horrifying way to die. Can you imagine something worse than that? I would rather be burned to death, drowned to death, than sent into space to suffocate. Think about that, because you would have so much time for existential dread. That's at the top of my list, honestly. It's really high up there

on best ways to go. Over drowning and burning alive. Are you kidding me? Melting? Feeling your flesh melt off your body. Death. When you burn alive, you suffocate on the hot oxygen way before. If you're lucky.

I'm going to be taking big boy breaths. You're like humming the flames at your ankles. He's trying to cheat. Oh, now we must disembowel him as punishment for not embracing. No, no, no. I'll hold my breath. Too late.

Get the knives. No, that wouldn't be. I mean, I wouldn't enjoy floating out into space to asphyxiate, but it's not the worst thing. I'd much rather do that than drown or burn. At least if you're drowning, you're on Earth. How is that a plus well because you're not spooked being out in space again how is that a plus i would prefer to die in space i don't know about that i don't know about that man yeah if i had to choose a place to die it would be out of

space dude i would love to see the candid camera of you 0.6 seconds after you get disconnected we're just knowing you're gonna die and that you are floating out into an abyss. Yeah, there's that scene in Event Horizon where the one guy gets flung off the ship. I think it's the black guy. And he's just flying through space. And he's like, oh, shit. Oh, shit.

And he's just like spinning off into oblivion. Yeah, I mean, it's not a fun way to go, but it's not painful at least. You're pretty sure the CO2 level... Yeah, but the CO2 levels are just going to slowly rise until you go unconscious. It's not like you're just out of air. Yeah, I guess, I mean,

as far as pain is concerned, that's way better. But... Yeah, I think you just... I mean, I don't Elton would be comfortable. I guess it depends how long does it take you to run out of oxygen. Hours? I would guess less than two hours. That's a long time to be spinning in space. Yeah, but it's a great view.

Of what? Of the Earth? Of the Earth? One second out of 60 as you're... Oh, no. If you're spinning uncontrollably that is a horrific way to die you're just vomiting into your helmet continuously you just uh i can't see anything i'm gonna eat the vomit i want to be able to see

and then you're just vomiting your vomit just vomit uh it's vomit your vomit's vomit yeah if you're spinning uncontrollably that is a nightmarish way to die absolutely that's torturous but no i would absolutely do that do that fucking spacewalk i would love to do that that's that that would be have you gone skydiving yet no no never done that let's put that on the adventure tour, right? Finally, it goes. I'll go. So there's two ways to go. I think I mentioned this before.

So fast forward, you can take all day training. And then when you jump out, you have your own parachute. And there's people holding like your arms and legs. So that because you might suck at it. The other thing you can do, this is what I did. You walk up, you're like,

now I'll just go baby Bjorn style. Shockingly, like seven minutes later, you're on a plane. You know, they attach you to the front of the dude tandem. Like, you know what a baby Bjorn is.

Your little spoon. Your little spoon. Yeah. You're the little spoon. And I was really surprised. Like, they're like, all right, then and uh i was really surprised like they're like all right they just head to the back and they're dressing me in the like diving outfit and it's like there's no lessons or anything they're like i'll tell you on the way up and they kept teaching me shit i needed to know like 15 seconds before i needed to know it. Like we're scooching to the door and he's like, all right, so this is how you get out.

Oh, you mean I just fall towards the earth? Okay, I can do that. There's a little posture and stuff to know. Like as you're jumping out the door, he's like, you didn't take any ass from before this, did you? Woo! He's giving me hand signals that we never covered he's like all right like hand jiving and shit and uh he's like the third base coach just

but uh it was really more and more stress in his face that you're not responding so we're landing and we're coming in at this sign this sign is immovable right it's bolted into the ground it's a lighting fixture for an airport and i'm like we're close to the sign like like are we gonna hit this thing and we stop and we we land in front of the sign by like three feet now this guy's done 7 000 jumps so like, well, it's probably exactly what he meant to do. And then the other people land and the other instructor who's also done, he's like, dude,

that was close. I knew it. I knew it was close. You were vindicated. It's like, Skeletor, you're a madman. You were so close on that run. That guy was okay with that

I had no idea I was jumping with Skeletor the only way I could do it is if I was strapped onto a responsible person's chest the responsible people they've got that jump out of airplanes five times a day over it.

You know what? You're right. I'm not going to do it. No, we can do it that way. Ask, ask the dude how many jumps he's had. Cause it's always some insane number.

7,000. Don't worry. Taylor's going to do it because when you and I go to the jump school and we wave goodbye to Taylor with our GoPros rolling, he's going to realize that he has made a horrible mistake dude i i i do get scared of heights i would not i i can't imagine looking out the side of a plane dude taylor all right time to oh the worst part of the whole experience was when they weighed me first i'm like you know

i got like a leatherman in my pocket you know you're gonna weigh me i'm not comfortable with it these are boots these are boots i'm wearing i'll weigh lighter and flip-flops maybe if you're heavy though they put a little girl on your back they're like no they put you with a big guy so that you don't overwhelm them. I put the opposite idea. But yeah, they weighed me. Tiny Tim out here. This ain't gonna work. I don't know what. Their scale was wrong.

It just had to be. I wasn't wearing 13 pounds of clothes. How could it be so different? Yeah, I didn't let let some shoes were a bad idea you got steel tip shoes when you're you got boots on i did have high like boots on like hiking boots on but yeah um i'll absolutely do it i've never done it before um i've kind of always meant to but never really had much of an opportunity other than Richard Ryan offering to give me tons of training for free, which I turned down because he was so far away, like 70 miles.

Yeah, that would take an hour. But you mainly turn it down because it's scary. Of course I turn it down because it's scary, but I ain't no bitch. If Woody does it, then I'm going to do it. What do you think I'm going to do? I'm not going to do something I'm not going to do. You think I wanted to go down that awful zip line it was a quarter mile we were 500 feet off the ground i didn't want to do that you didn't i would do the

riskiest zip line i was absolutely indonesia before i would do skydive it was absolutely fun and i loved every moment of it just about but if there had been a like kyle if you press this button we won't do this and nobody will ever know. I'd be like, yeah, let me just push that real quick because it did not look safe. It did not look safe. And it was just this fucking jump that we were having to make. I didn't want to do it, but I wasn't going to not do it. That's what.

The zip line didn't scare me too much. There was a thing that did, though. So you're on the tree and picture yourself high in a tree.'ll make it up like 200 feet 250 feet you're high high doesn't matter at that point and um there's a circular platform wooden and it doesn't have any guard rails or anything but you're hooked in so if you fall off you'll only fall like a few feet and they're like hey one fun thing to do is put your toes on the edge of the platform, hook in, and fall back. And I'm like, just do it? I could also stand here and not do that.

That's tremendously dangerous. I think I did that. I did it. Yeah, I did it more than once. But it doesn't sound like much. I feel like it doesn't sound as scary as it was. It's scary. Yeah, I did it more than once. But it doesn't sound like much. I feel like it doesn't sound as scary as it was. It's scary. Yeah.

It's scary. You're trusting a rope with your life. And if you're not accustomed to doing that sort of thing, it's kind of weird. The way I did it, I guess if I let go of the rope and went to it, that's not what you do. You just trust the rope is the right length. Yeah, you just go. You just go. Yeah. But yeah yeah i'll absolutely go skydiving swing that right off right off the the track and i'll be dead yeah there's nothing i won't do

um i won't get shot with a taser um unless i'm getting paid and uh uh i don't want any piercings um but other than that i'll do anything yeah i don't want any piercings. But other than that, I'll do anything. I don't want to eat any horrific insects either. But other than that, anything you can do, I'll do. Do you have any tattoos? No, I have no tattoos. No.

Yeah, me neither. You guys want to get a group tattoo? Is that where this is headed? No. Literally, I've never had a tattoo idea I've liked for more than a few months let's get that PKA son get that big RSK that covers our whole belly like those Mexican fucking gang bangers

not RSK you sissy mine will say rape squad killers can we each get one of the words i volunteer for squad were you a racist in the war no but i served in the company of racists oh man no i don't want to i don't want to get a tattoo. Woody can be rape. I'll be squad. And you can be the killers. I'm built for it.

You know what? I actually... You and I win that. We don't have to have rape tattooed on our body. Yes, absolutely. Jackie would love that. Or we could go to real sweet... Does that say rape?

Yeah, I like to tattoo things on me that I really hate. It's funnier when I'm with my friends. We play paper, rock, scissors, honey, and god damn it, they're good. Trust me, when I'm online with two of my buddies, it's a good joke. You never go scissors twice in a row. When I left for a bit, I saw Jackie, and I'm like, hey, honey, we've got to fix the hair. I saw it on stream. It's a little delayed and we got to clean it up.

And she's like, what? Why? I was like, how could you say that? She is selling you down the river. Are you trying to make sure she wasn't there? No, I was showing the hair. Oh, okay. The back is so rough.

I don't know what she's thinking like i how could you see that and be like all right mission accomplished she's sabotaging you she knows you're an attractive man i i think i mean that's why i uh load her up with hickeys before she goes anywhere they know she's taken. Do you have ringworm? No, my husband is just very jealous. Very jealous man. Load her up with hickeys. I mean, smart, high IQ maneuver.

You can't undo the hickey. She can wear scarves, which isn't a far fly from capes. It seems like they go well together. They do. For people who love wind resistance. I'm surprised you haven't strapped one of those capes onto yourself with all the flying you do.

You're making a lot of sense. Wouldn't you get sucked into the, into the prop? I don't worry about that. It'd be glorious until I did. All right. Welcome to PKA Tyler and Kyle edition. With our special guest,

Woody Zurn. My, um, Oh, I wanted to ask you this and, and, and stop me and just just say so if it's not public information the gentleman who had the incident on the paramotor did they find him yeah so it was a paraglider um he didn't have an engine he just left the side of a mountain

and uh they found him yeah they found his wing i'll call it like five days ago and uh the body wasn't with it but um the how was the body's condition it looked like he died on impact and um he didn't throw his reserve now this guy had thrown his reserve a few times before so the thinking is that he spun in flight and uh maybe uh blacked out unconscious yeah and um then all the lines broke so what can happen you're held to the wing by a bunch of lines i don't know how many call it 12 and uh when like to break the others, you know, have to do even more work and they're more inclined to break until eventually

they can all break. And, uh, it seems like that's what happened. So he fell to the ground or maybe he was trying to cut them away. I had that theory too, but they say I'm wrong. Okay.

So, uh, um, was he a really experienced guy? He super like 30 years so um uh and like i said he had thrown his reserve a few times before there's a a problem in the sport where people don't throw their reserves they go all the way to the ground and you just wonder what the thought process was like what were they doing were they fighting to get the wing flying again the whole time and just never went to a plan b were they scared stiff were like like exactly what happened that made you not go to the reserve this guy i don't know how many times he's thrown the reserve before but more than once so um you wouldn't think

that was the issue blacked out is a good guess maybe and then the lines broke and he was probably blacked out all the way to impact and uh uh he's dead yikes that's a shame yeah but that's how that ended suppose i didn't know him but he was supposed to be really nice guy yeah it's dangerous sport that's a shame yep yep yep so uh you want to do that taylor you want to go paragliding sometime i have a tandem license i could take you i'm down sure down all right just a little peer pressure is working great on Taylor. That doesn't scare me. No? Okay.

Jumping out of a mountain doesn't scare me. We're talking about strapping to Woody, doggy style, and jumping off of a mountain. Wait, what? We'd use a motor. I like the motor idea. We'll start a pair of gliders. Are both of us not running together? I intentionally picked the same sport that just killed this man.

Yeah, that's fine. People die in hockey. I played that. There you go. Oh, yeah. That's a good comparison. People die driving to work. I drive a car.

Let's jump. I mean, that's the rationale I'm using to make it okay in my brain. So I'm going to to to think that way that would be spooky but it would be a fun kind of spooky i'm looking forward to getting off probation we're gonna see i'm gonna see what you'll do we're gonna we're gonna fuck with you so much regular trips to saint louis you're gonna be shooting heroin to keep up with us i'm like maybe not you know I'm processing this in my head. I'm like,

all right, skydiving. That sounds really fun. I'm totally in. Oh, tandem paragliding. Dude, dude,

this is great. Long motorcycle trips. Cool, cool, cool. Wait a minute. We have to go to St. Louis,

the murder capital of the world. I'm a little scared. You know what's scarier than any of that? If we did something like East St. Louis camping. Right? We threw up a tent somewhere in East St. Louis and tried to camp there. And I would rather go skydiving than do that. I feel like we do some sort of a game where one of us has to wear blackface.

Right. There's me unzipping the tent with blackface on explaining. No, no, no, no. I voted for Obama. They're like, oh, he's cool. They would not say that. I know. But you drive in those areas or you walk in those areas as like a white person and like

cops will slow down and be like hey uh are you lost you you know where you are right yeah yeah yeah it's like all right just making sure is it that dangerous just to walk and not do anything wrong it's un it's unbelievably dangerous to walk around in louis like it's it's the only city in the u.s on par with honduras for per capita murders and that's not honduras as a whole that's caracas or no that's venezuela caracas venezuela one of the highest murder rates in this hemisphere and st louis edges that out by a little bit i think it's pretty awesome that taylor knows his geography by like he doesn't know a straight at all but gets in place with some good murders in he's like yeah caracas venezuela they're like i know all those stats

because i'm always hoping that one of them overtakes us in those lists and we always lose so daytime safe right you could walk there in the daytime uh you could it still wouldn't be advised like you really don't want to i feel like people who haven't driven or been in east st louis for a while don't realize it's like a third world country like it's all the buildings are burned out they're decayed they're dilapidated they're destroyed like it and people are walking around with the intent of fucking with you. You do not want to be in East St. Louis. It's like a known thing here.

You don't go to the east side. It's so fucking dangerous. It makes Detroit look like bitch town at this point because there's no one in Detroit. So my... I don't know if I can get these stats. 1980. I just want St. Louis to be in the news fucking once for something good.

It's never been in the news for anything good. I wish the Olympics would come there just to shine a light on the horrific nature of that city. That would be hysterical if they did the 2024 Olympics in East St. Louis. Everybody working hard, getting good. A couple teams murdered, but that's okay. We're in the spirit of global not animus, whatever the opposite of that is

yeah I wouldn't really want to go there when we were talking about the motorcycle trip in the back of my head I was like we don't have to like go to Taylor State do we we can just we can meet at Taylor's grandparents that's the ticket

that's the ticket dude you you guys you say that jokingly if i were to tell my grandparents oh the two guys that i do the show with they're coming to hang out for a night cook something for us she would be like oh i'm so excited i you know what i listened to your podcast one time and i didn't like the kind of language you were saying, so I turned it off, but I'm sure the gentlemen you do it with are just so nice and so good. Yeah, and you guys would be. That's what I'm saying. My grandma would not

treat that as a joke. She'd be like, alright, well, we got three people coming. That means we need 60 pounds of steak, 600 racks of lamb, and then let's kill like 300 catfish fry those up real nice like that you guys would love it you guys would love it you would get it and and they have enough land there we can shoot guns we can do whatever we want it's it's a it's a good woody and i can

shoot guns yeah i didn't think that through yeah yeah but yeah that'd be a bunch of fun they would absolutely love that they would love it because i've even mentioned before i've been like hey grandpa like my uh one of the guys to do the show with kyle his dad seems like he would get along with you really well and i've been i've said some things that he's said that you've regaled to me and things and he's like yeah well i mean i to me and things. And he's like, yeah, well, I mean, I don't care, but he seems like a pretty cool motherfucker. Does he like bull riding? And I was like, I don't know, maybe.

And he's like, all right, shit. All right. I'm going to pretend he does. Yeah, we're going to talk about it. Every single time we go down there we're watching tv he only watches ridiculousness with rob deer deck and bull riding and the whole time we're watching bull riding he like knows the stats on things so be like now this this brazilian there they fucking know what's up these brazilians they know how to ride ride horses real good they know how to ride bulls

even better and i was like wow that's crazy so the brazilians are winning he's like ah shit no they ain't winning there's a missouri boy cape boy he's fucking winning all of them so i can and then you'll see the such a scary the winnings and it's like steve from Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Winnings total first place. $43,000. Oh, no. It's like, oh, no, this is the seasonal win. It's not even for that event.

No, like they don't make shit. You'll see a guy ride a bull and get his nose shattered from the bull rear and back. And he'll be like, that was a pretty good one right there. Stevie Johnson right there. He just made, look, look at that.

75 on that one made $75. I'm serious. It's that level of money. The ring with the animal that will cover his parking space. Good job, Steve. Yeah, basically, basically like bull riding is it looks like the most dangerous sport out there because it's the only one where even after you finish if you succeed you can still get killed that's that's

a good point yeah it's i i've never really loved watching it or anything i've never been to the rodeo either it seemed like a good place to get stabbed. But I don't know. I could watch it. I could get into it a little bit. I always wanted to try it. I always wanted to ride a bull. Like sometimes when we would catch cows, cattle,

I would jump on the back of like a 400-pound bull. But like that. That's a teeny, tiny little bull. Yeah, yeah. I'm aware that's that's why i did it and uh and you know that was they throw you in your ass right away how much does a big bull weigh 1200 1200 1500 pounds yeah yeah it's like what 1100 to 2200 pounds my presence 1,100 to 2,200 pounds. My presence on that hole would go almost unnoticed. Right?

Oh, they noticed. Okay, okay. But the way that he jumps and moves, you know how if you were to hypothetically get your arm stuck on the PTO shaft of a tractor, that thing is going to twist you up and that motor won't even grunt. Right? The resistance a

human can offer to a tractor is negligible negligible negligible looking for i mean i was stuck on negligent it's negligible um the resistance that i could offer a 1200 pound pile of muscle like a bull is negligible it just would do whatever it wanted yeah they don't like that rope rack wrapped around their cock, though. Wait, that's what it is? Yeah. That rope's in a very uncomfortable position down there. Mm-hmm.

What a silly sport. It's to make it angry. Yeah, exactly. And it works. I never knew that. Yeah, they hate it for some reason. I don't know. I don't like it when I see the guys wearing all the armor, though,

when they got the full face mask and the helmet and the big chest plate and everything. Like, I like to see the guys that roll out there, and they're just dressed like a goddamn cowboy from the movies. Like, let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah, I love that. When they opt for less protection.

Yes. That's the way the NHL was, where there was some guy from the 60s and 70s who just was grandfathered in by the rule. He was like a rookie when they're like, all right, everybody's got to wear helmets. And he's like, fuck you, no. And so there's just one guy. I don't remember his name.

Al McGuinness. Played until the late 80s. Well, Al McGuinness was definitely one of them. Oh, he's not the one you're thinking of? No. McGinnis, he wore a – or I'm sorry, not no mask. McGinnis never wore a mask, but he wore a helmet. I'm talking about some guy from earlier who refused to wear a helmet.

No helmet. There was no helmet. It was just like the goalies in the the goalies what if every sport was like that fuck you what like i would you might actually get get me to watch an nfl game if there were some players who were just like fuck it was it going out there it may have been i i think i mixed up mcginnish and mctavish it may have been i i think i mixed up mcginnish and mctavish but this is kyle this is the guy jacques plant who made the first mask by pouring plaster over his face and they literally told him like his coach was like you can't wear that and he's like

i can't breathe like my nose is so shattered like i can't even not mouth breathe anymore please let me wear this and he wore it once and he did okay in the game and then the coach was like all right you can wear you can wear that did you play with him without a cage craig metavish is the guy i was thinking of oh okay um i played uh with with my goalie cage. Yeah, like you needed to have a cage. Yeah, I've talked about that. I'll go quickly. I played in a league that required a mask

or that didn't require a mask. And so I learned to sort of play hockey with no mask on. And then I played a place that required it. When I went to a place that didn't, I realized that I spent a lot of time making sure my face didn't get bashed in you know like like let's say for example I'm on my knees for some reason like I'm an amateur I can fall and uh if I'm on my knees with a cage on then I'm fighting for the puck like that's that's my

primary goal if I'm on the knees with no cage maybe I'm making sure my teeth stay in place so that guy's face is yeah you can see uh you can see terry sawchuck's face there and that's what he looked like before they allowed masks can you imagine playing goalie and ice hockey and they're like nope just have your face out there zero percent chance i wouldn't have played that's absurd he's got a giant gash on his right shoulder yeah probably from the skate and his left pec and his right pec is like a gunshot wound everything about him is fucked dude this guy looks like he survived saw three this guy i i people i feel like people must have been almost fucking with him to have him get hurt that much.

Or maybe he was a guy so brave he played the puck and never kept himself safe. Right? Like, put your face in the way of the puck so you don't get a goal. What if all these scars were from outside the rink and it had nothing to do with hockey? My wife is a violent woman. It had nothing to do with hockey. My wife is a violent woman. He had nothing to do with hockey.

He's making clean saves all night and shows up with a giant gash. Yeah. I'm looking at UGA's schedule. We don't play a non-ranked opponent until November 14th when we finally play Mizzou. They'll be ranked by then. You're assuming we won't be ranked by then, exactly. I am making that brave assumption, yes, here and now.

Alabama. Oh, I take it back. The first game gets Arkansas. They're not ranked. Never mind. But after that, it's number eight Auburn, number 16 Tennessee, number two Alabama, number 23 Kentucky, five, Florida, then Mizzou. Then we play.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be too hard. Arkansas is one of those. Well, they made it all SEC. Yeah. I mean, as you know, you don't want to schedule. That's too easy.

Otherwise you do that. Is it? Who's the Florida team? The central Hawaii did it once where they went, they won out and, you know didn't end up i think they played us in the bowl i think university of central florida might be the one i'm thinking of that also had an undefeated season but the schedule wasn't hard enough that even if you win every game and do well in every game you're fucked you can't you can't win

but you guys maybe exaggerated a bit with every team being ranked. Yeah, it's because of the pandemic. They're doing an all-SEC schedule. So you're playing in the toughest conference against the toughest conference every single fucking game. Oh, that'll pan out great for us. Oh, God. Let me look at what Missouri's schedule is. This is actually hilarious. Missouri is going to get fucking smashed.

Alabama is going to humiliate us. Are you ready for this yeah all right first game number two alabama crimson tide number your second game of the year against tennessee third you played number six lsu who has got to be pissed that they're sixth in the country that's a low that's the worst they've been ranked in years then you you play number five, Florida, a couple weeks later. Then Kentucky. Then obviously number four, Georgia. Yeah, it's going to be a rough year. Dude, Mizzou is fucked. There is no way they come out of that schedule anything but like one and six.

With a positive schedule. Yeah. I mean, with a positive record. I don't think they go positive. I bet they win two of those at most. At absolute most, and that is generous. I would guess one of those ranked

ones. I wouldn't give you one. They'll eke out one bullshit game where there's some nonsense. I just want to point out that NC State has a better record than Georgia. That's because Georgia hasn't played yet. And we have, and we won, so... And the Titans that are nc mate i mean mizzou would beat the shit out of nc state i don't well nc state is in that other teams receiving votes and i don't think you are

i don't know well that's that's mainly because we're compared to the true powerhouses of SEC. Like, you throw Mizzou in the Big 12 or the Big 10, like, they're going to do pretty fucking well. So who won the championship last year? Was it Clemson or was it? Oh, Clemson, Clemson, yeah. All right, cool, cool, cool. That's where we are.

What's the name of that other really good team in the division? NC State. Oh. Yeah, they are second best. Mizzou is like, all right, we got a pretty easy week. We're playing Florida. Well, at least it's not as bad as Georgia next week or that absolute raping we took from Alabama.

So ACC has five ranked teams right now. Okay. I don't know if you want to know. Clemson, Miami Hurricanes, Notre Dame, Pittsburgh, and UNC. Oh, shit. They have seven ranked teams. Virginia and Louisville.

Louisville. NC State just beat Louisville. They were ranked. Is Notre Dame pretty good? They're seventh on this list. They're ranked seventh. Oh, okay. We'll see how the season pans out. I don't think Georgia.

It looks bad for Georgia. That's a lot to go through. That's a lot. They're going to be hurt. They have to play fucking Alabama right away. I feel like they're going to get hurt. They can take down. See, at least Georgia belongs in a game with Alabama.

Sometimes when State plays Bama or something, I'm like, they could get hurt. This is irresponsible. The Boxing Commission makes sure that Woody and Mike Tyson don't fight each other. There should be some... It's not fair. Yeah, that's a good point, actually.

I feel like offense and defense are so mismatched. Like, it's not fair. Yeah, that's a good point, actually. Like, I feel like offense and defense are so mismatched. Like, those guys are 50 pounds bigger than us, and it's all muscle. Oh, yeah. Dude, Alabama, when you see them, like, Alabama up 51 to nothing in the second half, and they throw out their second team, it's like, this is a good team. They're playing with their second team it's like this is a good team yeah with their second team that could compete with every other sec school because they're fucking around right now the opposite happens

in basketball like in ncaa basketball for example last year unc had a a recordly bad team so like don't take this for specifics but like unc will lose to, say, Davidson or something. And I think it's neat because not a single player on Davidson could have made the UNC team. Right. Every single one of them would have been honored to get an offer. Right. And they still beat them. And that's cool.

Like when UNC, if UNC is like probably one of the it's definitely one of the top five most desirable schools to go play for and uh yeah when they have a bad year it's cool rap well that's uh that's four uh i hope you guys enjoyed uh landmark uh it was really not i really enjoyed meeting him you know obviously woody and i really liked the guy i thought that was pretty fun uh and uh yeah hope you enjoyed the show check out his uh check out his streams if you did he deleted the vod already mission accomplished smart smart move landmark good good go it wasn't actually the mission i it was okay, but maybe it was the midget talk. I'm not sure. Well, they should kill themselves because what's the point?

You fart-smelling little folk. P.K.A. 5'10".