Painkiller Already - PKA 511 Dick Masterson - Boogie and Frank Hassle Battle, Taylor's Huge Log, Supernatural

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

pka 511 made the background myself guest dick taylor this episode of pka is probably brought to you by smart mouth and maybe some others we'll find out later and we'll be seeing in real time how much of that copy can i remember off the top of my head tune in to find out because i do not have the copy simple stuff simple stuff it's gonna be fun it's gonna be fun yeah so how the hell are you what's up you guys is everybody full of the spirit of manga after that incredible debate the other night i've never been proud of the spirit of manga i listened to a debate between uh sticks and richard spencer that was just very civilized and uh lucid and then

then you turn on tv and the guys who want to run the country might as well be flinging shit at each other tremendous wonderful i mean how the hell are you is this is the 500 episode celebration finally over uh you're supposed to praise us i think oh we've been having all the guests talk about how wonderful we are and until 600 you didn't prepare your segment you know what your back the background looks great i want to print it out and hang it on my fridge what do you tremendous taylor you did a great job with your sponsor i want to buy whatever that is uh kyle you are looking slimmer than last time i want to say but that might be my screen i have you very tiny on it uh what's up guys dude taylor you know how the subreddit widens your head yeah i can do that right i could fuck with your aspect ratio which

is that'd be funny that would be funny just don't acknowledge be funny. That would be funny. Just don't acknowledge. Actually, this would be better like a pre-show thing to be like, you need to increase it one degree a week until people start to be like, he's really starting to look weird, man. It's like, yeah, I can't find when it started happening. No, in our AMA

talk about monkeys. In our AMA questions questions your head is like eight feet wide that's true those ones i like because it's like oh okay i'm not actually that ugly it's the ones where they move my eye three pixels to the left off center and it's like god i look like an absolute retarded person and missing a chromosome yeah people will be like and then like i had somebody like photoshop and like those versions of me on to people with mental problems standing next to like athletes that they admired it was like this is what do you just stop this is it's kind of funny but even so so dick i know you fat app at all that stupid gradient fat app that's going around where people like fatten

you up and then refatten you up and refatten you up until you look like your dad no have you been getting hammered with the fat app i hate it man i'm still mexican every 20 pounds that i get put on is like another 50 mexican that i turn so i don't know i remember having self-esteem i don't know. I remember having self-esteem. I don't anymore. You're looking great. Thank you. I noticed the arms when you put them up. I was like, Jesus. Oh, yeah.

There you go. Motherfucker. Dude, I haven't had an injury in a long time. So I'm finally in the workout groove. I don't know if you guys know what I'm talking about. But you get to where it stops being sore, and you can just put up weight like a machine every time i hit that point i'll do something stupid like try to jump uh you know a children's ramp on a bicycle if i get hurt i'll do it lifting usually like you we passed like ships in the night you and the three of us woody almost drowned playing around in his sky chair.

I hurt my shoulder lifting a week ago, and Kyle dropped a knife off of his counter through his foot and had to go get it extracted from the ER. And this was all in the last five days, I think. And did you have that? Yeah, we don't know. Hopefully. Kyle, did you have that moment where you were like i shouldn't pull it out or i should pull it out like in a movie

it bounced out it bounced out thankfully i wasn't i didn't have to make that choice but um it was a significant gash i had the moment where i had to decide where i had to figure out if my toes still worked and uh and then had had had to look at it and do a double take and be like, yeah, I got to go to the ER. No, I can glue it up. Nope, nope, ER, ER, ER. With a $100 Wusthof carving knife. That's a $200 Wusthof carving knife.

Thank you very much. How is it now? Those are nice. Did the knife hold up? Is it okay? Yeah, it's all good. I think it was dulled a little bit by the impact, but I sharpened her back up.

Good, good. Not too sharp, though. As sharp as humanly possible. If that were sharp, it wouldn't work. You got to get one of those bank chains, like they have at Penn's at the post office to put on your knife. I've got that whole set of, like, whetstones, where it starts at, like, 400 or 500 grit

and goes down to, like, 3,000 grit, and then there's's like, it starts at like six, four or 500 grit and goes down to like 3000 grit. And then there's like a leather stropping thing that you do afterwards. So it's just stupid, stupid sharp. Dude. I bought, I, I was,

I was this retard watching something. This is a few years ago where I just got it in my head. I was like, man, you've been doing research on kitchen knives for five minutes. Now you've got it figured out. This guy says you can buy a $20 set from Target and then buy this $8 sharpener off Amazon and create. I'm going to be like that guy just like blowing the knife tip towards tomatoes and just tiny little.

This one little secret knife makers don't want you to know. One secret knife makers don't want you to know. One secret knife makers don't want you to know. So I go out, I get my fucking big cheap steak knife thinking this is going to be... The people I show this to are going to be blown away. I'll do that thing Kyle was talking about. It's like, hey, guess how much this knife is? Nah, it was $4.

Now look at this. I put it in the sharpener thing and I start sharpening it. I take it out and the knife is absolutely destroyed. Four dollars ruined. It is. I was

flabbergasted that that amount of damage could be done to steel in that amount of time from this sharpener. It wasn't a ceramic knife, was it? No, no, no, no. That'd be consistent with what you're seeing. No, it wasn't ceramic but it was like super hard it didn't work as a knife anymore it didn't cut there's a guy on youtube who made it his mission and he did it well and he's like his wow yeah he's like one of these

his youtube channel is half focused on how great he is at sharpening things and he it's possible it's just super hard is he a knife competition guy who like takes those uruk-hai swords and cuts full water bottles and stuff no no but he just he he sharpened stuff so sharp that they're like mirrors the edges on you can see your reflection in the camera and everything and and then he just cuts things that you would think don't cut well and uh it's pretty neat he's a likable guy but and then he does challenges like ceramic knives and i'll get my knife so sharp that i can take a human hair and like sharpen the hair like like like like run the like a mat like like like like it's a like

it's a piece of wood whittling yeah you can whittle the hair so yeah you don't want your knife that sharp in retrospect apparently or that fucking heavy it must weigh two pounds it's not a lot i uh i've got one of those beautiful uh i think it's the same the worst off sets it's a really beautiful set of knives and somewhere along the line i lost one of the little knives, like one of the dinner knives. It drives me insane looking at it every time I see it. Like the wanting to find it. No, knowing that it's sitting in the trash somewhere that I just chucked it like with a pile of carne asada or something.

But it's been driving me nuts recently. You can replace like the single blades. And then it's going to look like a cartoon, like the one, the thing that is going to move in a cartoon, how it's the colors are always a little bit off. And you're like, ah, well,

he's going to jump out of that door. Why do you have one really clean knife? Yeah, exactly. This one's not as black. This one's blacker than the other one. Like, ah,

fuck man. If this were a video game, I would know exactly what item to interact with. It's fucking that one you lost the knife huh yes just use the goddamn knife please shut up yeah i my my kitchen shears broke and so for the last two months i've had like construction like cardboard cutting scissors that just stuck in that block up there it looks terrible it looks awful but i just what are you guys for oh like it was for like cutting up like chicken legs and stuff

or whatever you know okay it didn't even break doing that it was just such a crappy set of shears i was using that to open a clamshell one day and it just that both handles fell off wait wait wait clamp you don't cut clams with scissors? No, like a clamshell package. You know what you get. I think I know why they broke. I'm picturing a clam with an oyster in it or something. You just hit it with the scissors.

No, like what you put an Xbox controller in. Like a clamshell package. I'm not that silly. I like my oysters cut down the middle. Not across the middle. You would again cut it down the middle. Some people open them like this.

Not me, sir. Not me. Yeah, we call this a suitcase style. Are you interested? It's three times as expensive. It takes a long time. We need to get a bandsaw going. Bandsaws are where it's at.

I frankly wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't recommend suitcase though so dick i know you have probably you because you seem to be more up on this than than we are the frank hassle and boogie thing oh man and you guys talk about that a little bit on pka can you lay out the background maybe you'll do maybe you know about really well uh but real quick the pka highlights guy the second that story went out there put up a clip titled fps russia gives gun advice to boogie 2988 because of all the times you'd recommended and that guy's his eyes on the ball shout out to that guy and the clip channels but yeah fill us in dick we we only kind of know the top layer i'm trying to find the message i sent to boogie the night before i said

do not pull a gun on frank don't don't kill him i said oh yeah here's what i said don't kill him you'll go to jail but do whatever you want honestly people do that was the last bit of advice he said um oh god where is it he's oh yeah he said that he may be a comedian but i promise you if he shows up he won't be one anymore fact this shit ends today and i said what are you gonna do kill him lol i guess i like that you've got your finger in all these pies somehow see now you're gonna have to be called to testify if this goes any further you've got your finger in all these pies somehow. See, now you're going to have to be called to testify if this goes any further. You've got way too much evidence on that phone. Dick Masterstar over here.

I'm a very good testifier. We'd like to call Dick Masterson to the... All right. So he knew he was coming the night before. Lay out the sequence of events here. Well, here's... I mean, do you guys know who Frank Castle is first like how what's your familiarity with frank hassell it's between zero and uh he does like the go up to people in public style content with like the

gopros and the ask an uncomfortable like that kind of stuff he hassles people yeah that's what he likes to do uh he's been he was he was arguing with boogie like saying that he was gonna sissy hypnotize him uh he calls himself dr don wario the sissy hypnotist and he was gonna hypnotize boogie into being his like sissy sex slave um these are both large like fat bearded men so nothing about nothing about either of them is really yeah nothing lends itself to sissy hypnosis but for some some reason boogie decided to pretend that this was a real threat and he's like he went on the kill stream and and he went on the kill stream and like debated frank uh debated with frank for for an hour uh then he went on keemstar's show and possibly have to debate about i don't know

i don't know like one of them thinks it's a joke and the other one thinks it's harassment i saw it and it's been a little while in my memory but it it was kind of along the lines of frank castle's like these are the reasons i don't like you and i remember right boogie was like that's valid that's not even true that's not a good reason type thing that's that's the yeah yeah and then um and then frank posted a picture frank was uh frank was going through arkansas to see a friend of his uh and he posted a picture where boogie the town that boogie lives in of a snake saying i'm i'm here you pussy or something like that uh and boogie took this uh as i don't know as you might do i i personally wouldn't take it like this because he's a comedian who hassles people he decided that that

means frank drove three states over just to show up at his house and sissy hypnotize him uh he he went on keemstar and ranted at frank for like a half hour telling him that you did come to my property you pussy you're never gonna do it and if you do i'll put you in a body bag like really over the top ultimate warrior kind of uh 80s wrestling it's hilarious he goes like during the interview he starts doing like an effeminate voice and daring frank to come to his house and knock on the door like in a like calling him a you know um uh calling him a pussy if he doesn't so what do you know frank comes over to his house knocks on the door uh boogie comes out brandishing his friend's gun asking if it's locked and loaded and ready to shoot seemingly having no not even a basic understanding of how a firearm works exactly uh he comes out tells frank to fuck off tells him that he's going

to kill him um uh tells him tells him it ends right now that he doesn't want to do this he doesn't want to have to put a bullet in him i mean kyle you're like you're well versed in guns and defense it just seems like there's no possible way anybody who's afraid for their life is walking outside like john wayne aiming a 44 aiming a pistol at somebody who's completely unarmed and recording it who you've invited who you've dared to come to your house i I think so. I wouldn't like that either. I'd probably do pretty much the exact same thing if I were allowed to have guns. Well, would you get on a stream and dare him to come over? Oh, absolutely not.

I'd get on a stream and let him know the police would be waiting for him if he came. But my first option wouldn't be to walk outside with a gun. Certainly, that's the last option. But I also don't like the idea of somebody trespassing on my property being a piece of shit when they've been told not to come because they're absolutely but i think the first thing would be the police and the second thing will probably be something less lethal but then at some point like he needs to get shot i don't know here's the idea of

somebody trespassing on my property and being a piece of shit. Yeah. Here's where it gets fun. Boogie decides instead of shooting Frank hassle, he's going to shoot his gun at 30 at the optimum angle. He's firing at Alabama instead. There's a church in the distance and a middle school. I believe that Boogie decides to shoot a 44 Magnum round at, as you know, the most distance and the most lethality possible, which I don't know.

I don't think anyone, I don't think some kid riding his tricycle around, around the neighborhood. If some kid got domed, they would have reported on that like quick. And they would have known, but like something else that like, when I was watching it,

like if that guy, Frank was going to be scared, it seemed like there wasn't any reason for him to be scared of being shot anymore. Once Boogie said, in 30 seconds, I'm going to give you a warning shot. And it was like, oh, Boogie, why would you say that? I don't know shit about using a gun in that situation. I've never been in that situation. But I certainly don't think, And Kyle could give us more information. Kyle, is it ever good to announce you're going to fire a warning shot and then fire?

No, no. I know how to shoot a gun. I don't know how to handle a fucking scenario like this. This is outrageous. This is something you have. You get to be the expert on everything about it. OK, I'll make it. I'll make it up as I go along then.

Yeah, I don't know that warning shots are a good idea to begin with. You know? I mean, if I'm in a saloon and there's not a town that way, fine. Taylor, you didn't have to take a course on this and pass a test to get your concealed carry license. We did, but it didn't cover warning shots and stuff. Yes. I know that's a bad idea. You're not supposed to. Did it cover sissy hypnotizing was that part of your training look don't swallow

the gun do not taste the gun legally there's no such thing as a warning shot that's just a missed shot and uh the move to make would have been to call the police and if he tries to enter the home right banging too harshly on the door you know like if you thought he was breaking down the door breaking a window he could open fire uh what he did open the door go out front and warning shot that it's sketchy legal ground i think boogie's gonna get in low low grade trouble and what they do say in every one of those gun classes is if you're ever in a situation like this shoot to kill don't be that guy who thinks you're gonna john wayne just whip him in the forearm real quick and ah neutralize the target like he's gonna wing it center mass and just do it like get it done he's gonna shoot the super chats out of his stream did they just like story time in your concealed carry course taylor there was a great one in mind it was more of

ours was like military guys who were like moonlighting doing some other job. Ours was a sheriff. And he's telling this story. This had happened in his county and like while he was a sheriff. And this guy had taken his wife hostage and put a gun next to her head. And he's telling his hurt the husband to hand over his wallet or something like this. And he's telling his hurt. The husband, like, hand over his wallet or something like this.

So the guy pulls out his little 380, like, ACP. And he's going to plink this guy in the forehead, right? So he lines it up, shoots. Hits his own wife. Shoots her in the shoulder. It did diffuse the situation. That is so funny. I hope he played it off. He was like like you see what i did to her i love her you don't get out of here right now

that's the ultimate like go schizo and be like and if dinner's ever late again it's like and i'll get to you in a minute sir like apparently she teases him about it every opportunity she gets she's always you know like it would you make coffee you know you did shoot me like you owe me and and she used it all the time that's there's no coming back from that you did shoot me i guess i will take out the trash right exactly the boogie thing what's the next step in this like i'm sure that they're doing a little investigation on the whole situation and the gun firing. Do you know anything?

Probably nothing. Who cares about two fat idiots acting like morons together? I don't think the DA has bigger problems than some... What I love the most about it is that Boogie chose to wear a free Tomb Raider shirt on the day that he was gonna murder somebody my favorite part was when frank hassell's outside the house calling boogie fat get out of here you fat piece of shit have you not met you why are you throwing that insult

around but that guy like in the footage of like boogie's ring doorknob or whatever it was showing frank's doing like that totally off kilter crazy person stay like waving back and forth going you gotta kill me kill me kill me open fire was that wasn't that what he was saying open fire what a fucking maniac What a fucking maniac. What a fucking maniac. He is a maniac. Boogie is the good guy in this situation. Boogie is the good guy.

Let's not forget. This thing is very funny. It's funny to make fun of both of them. However, in reality, Boogie's the good guy. Boogie's the guy at his home probably minding his own business. God knows what he was doing in there,

if we're being honest but but you don't show up at someone's house that's the school boogie shot into the air at a school the school part you made up right white school come on i did see i did see a photo of this and who knows if it was some memer made up but it was like here's where the shot was fired from here's the direction of where it was fired and then there is a school zone but if anything

it's like it's gonna go I think it was actually a church that he shot at Arkansas there are schools and churches every fucking where aren't there schools and churches all right you can't fire a gun without hitting someone at a school or a church There are schools and churches every fucking where. Where aren't there schools and churches? You can't fire a gun without hitting someone

at a school or a church. And it was a black church we're being now told. Like, come on. Authorities will now be looking into this much more seriously. He's the good guy. He's a bad shot. Okay, we'll give you that. Bad shot, good guy. Well, I was talking like just as far as

you know he didn't handle the gun thing well but the the actual act of being i like that he has a gun because like i watched a little bit you mentioned that clip that guy uploaded of me giving boogie gun advice and it was going back like maybe three years or something four years even and uh and at the time he'd only shot a 2222 pistol. And he was like, yeah, I like that. But then I shot a 9mm, you know, one of those man killers. And that scared me. And now I see him on video with a fucking.44 revolver, and I'm just like, he grew up.

I knew he was. Single tier. Oh, it's beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful. He's got the magnum out i uh i like that video a lot i've watched a bunch of times i've seen so many edits of it where like he fires the shot and then you know like a plane goes down or something like that i've seen the the image edited so that he's like benny from that scene i don't know if anybody knows this from fallout new vegas where benny's pointing the gun at your head and he's got Benny from that scene. I don't know if anybody knows this, from Fallout New Vegas, where Benny's pointing the gun at your head

and he's got the two goons on either side. But now it's Boogie in the center pointing the gun at you. It's great for that stuff. And it is funny to have a good time about. But sticking with Woody here, Boogie's a good guy here. Boogie's the homeowner

minding his own business at his residence. He's being harassed at his house at the end of the day yeah oh you guys don't think the taunting has anything to do with why he got harassed at the end of the day the king star interview i think it's irrelevant i think that i think you should be able to taunt someone as much as you want and they shouldn't literally trespass on your property and come to your home i think that's that that's crossing a whole nother line i mean i don't know somebody crossing a whole nother line i mean

i don't know somebody tells me to come knock and i'm a pussy if i don't come knock i might go knock on their door like this is an entertainment business yeah oh yeah he said come knock come knock you pussy come knock you can't drive four miles to come knock come visit me friend or you're a fucking pussy it was like 10 minutes of that can we pause on this? So I think Boogie knew he had a gun at this point. I know you mentioned it was his friend's gun, but something about a gun can almost make you feel like, well, I can win every fight now, right? I've got this magic laser pistol.

I can't be beaten. Come at me. You don't know. I have a secret weapon. It's not the way you want to win a fight, but I suspect that was in the back of his mind i all right i didn't know he said all that all right i'm gonna i'm gonna take take at least one half step back from my original stance now because if you spend and

you and you're saying a long time like 10 20 minutes repeatedly telling someone come at me bro come to my house pussy fucking knock on the door bitch yeah um you might not be surprised when they do in fact come and literally knock on your door that may be true but even when i was listening to it like it seemed more of him like panicked like animal in a corner responding, where it was like, oh, you come at me, I'll go crazy. Corner me and see what happens. It didn't seem like he genuinely wanted Frank Castle. One of my favorite Boogie moments, and look, I neither like Boogie nor dislike Boogie.

He's somewhere in the middle for me. I don't know him in real life. I've never had any interaction with him outside the show, but I'll never forget when he was on the show. I wish I could quote him exactly because I don't like him in real life. I've never had any interaction with him outside the show, but I'll never forget when he was on the show. I wish I could quote him exactly because I don't like misquoting. Oh, no, I know. I think he was talking about some kind of incident he had with a guy at a gas station.

He was like, I just got mad. He just looked at me, and he saw how mad I was, and he was scared. He backed away because I'll just go crazy on you. I'll just go crazy on you. He knew. I remember me and Woody exchanging this knowing look like, scared he backed away because i'll just go crazy on you i'll just go crazy on you and he knew and i just i remember like me and woody exchanging this knowing look like dude i remember how mad or crazy that man ever gets um it's not going to matter fighting is an athletic endeavor right dick is a fighter like well even current boogie Is not going to be a great fighter

And he's more athletic than he was two years ago That's a generous statement Not going to be a great fighter Not one of the greats He's in the hall of very very good Amongst the fighting greats He'd be great I remember after that episode With the gas station story amongst the fighting greats. I mean, he'd be great. And a contender.

I remember after that episode with the gas station story, right after it ended and it was all of us coming up with the titles, you were like, before we name the show, can we talk about that gas station story? What the fuck was that about? Like, there is no way he was scaring people at a gas station. Yeah. And it implied a greater, like, I started making inferences about it in general. Like, wow, how far away from the truth is his sense of self, right?

If he thinks he's mean mugging people at gas stations, getting them to back down, what else does he think about himself? Is he smarter than Einstein? He's already tougher than we all are jones well currently shut up you your anti-semitic ways i won't stand for it is that what i did no that's what taylor did going after einstein clearly an anti-semit i've been caught by my own petard yeah i i don't know something about that one like something like how how unaware like how much how much can a man lack self-awareness if he thinks he's threatening at five yes and even if you do ever think those thoughts to say it in front of other people

on a podcast maybe keep that maybe in the back of your head if you if you ever thought like kind of a badass kind of a man's man high t kind of individual you wouldn't be like and i'm gonna go tell a whole bunch of people that i feel that way like maybe keep that one to yourself maybe like i wish i had thought of it set in a little i wish i thought of it at the time so i could be like dude that reminds me of a story that happened to me today actually i was at a gas station and two guys were giving me shit they were huge they were boogie how tall are you twice that big both of them enormous they take one look at me they go my god that guy's got his dick hanging

out of his shorts what's he gonna do with it like just all your stories should be variants of the college game day parking story yeah there were six there were six freshmen reserving a parking spot and i swept them aside swept them aside i threw one from the from the fifth floor i grabbed one's feet and swing them used him as a weapon amongst the others yeah have any of you guys wait let me make sure yeah but i i feel differently about the thing now knowing that boogie challenged this man to come to his house because i need to hear it different i i i'm basing this on nothing dick are you telling the story straight and true down the middle that boogie in five minutes and we'll see who ends up on top is it

possible that perhaps frank hassle was provoking boogie and boogie was kind of trying not to be a total puss on the call saying come at me like like um this has happened to me before what happened to boogie a a guy just being an asshole has come to my house and a guy who i think has schizophrenia has come to my house i handled them both by saying do not come to my house like do not come to my house do not come to my house uh i answered both with a loaded gun open the door shut the door because as far as i'm concerned like you can go knock on somebody's door and that's like that's legal in america uh i would never have handled it the way boogie does which is screaming like the ultimate warrior uh it was a mix of it was a mix

of this shit ends or i will end it don't come to my house and you're a fucking pussy if you don't come to my house and get your reckoning because i will kill you it was like straight up premeditated murder on boogie it was like it was like the episode of the simpsons when homer tricks flanders into coming over so he can kill him yeah yeah yeah like Wiggum and Homer have that whole conversation well they're in your house you can of course you can shoot them yeah Flanders Flanders over doesn't want to give you a invite a man Homer like ah get out of here Flanders yeah that Something like that. That is different. Your text conversation with Boogie,

I'm just thinking, why would you write that? Don't you know that's going to end up being some sort of evidence? If you do, shoot this YouTuber. What did Boogie write again? What did Boogie write to you? I'll see. I'd love to hear like like word for word because

it was hilarious bring him on i'll read it with him it's it's preposterous like the funniest thing is go ahead first of all let's imagine a scenario where in fact boogie blew frank hassell away all right and we're we're talking about the death of frank hassell right now yeah and and boogie's upcoming trial and the fact that dick here has been called as both a material and a character witness for both sides the defense and the prosecution and his phone is exhibit a well twitter can't lock this account then um he's yeah he's got a castle doctrine says after he made a threat once he's on my property i literally cannot break any laws i mean i don't know if like sissy rape is a but i really don't want to hurt him or anyone i so i really hope it doesn't come to that but i

won't risk my roommate or dog getting hurt that's just not a thing that's allowed to happen i said this entire thing is pussy shit. He's a comedian who's making jokes. Open the door with a gun if you want. Driving to someone's town and showing up at the front door isn't a joke, man. Sorry, I don't see it that way. I said, well, don't kill him.

You'll go to jail. It's not illegal what he's doing. Yeah, you're the real good guy here. And I did just, I knew there was a quote of what i think boogie said on keemstar's call and it and the guy frank hassell put it in his little like meme video and it says with a with the picture being boogie holding the gun the overlay is boogie's quote i'm gonna fucking kill you and take pleasure doing it. And then he puts in quotes under that. This quote is going to be really relevant later in court.

So I guess I'm going to fucking kill you and take pleasure doing it. Isn't the ideal for Ray. It's not great. But you know, it's pretty bad itself. Like on, on game day, he's like,

I want you to leave. You don't have permission to be on my property. I'm about to fire a warning shot. Like he's really kind of seemed like he was speaking to the attorneys while he was, while Frank Hassel was there. More likely in his head. I'm going to fire a warning shot is like, wow, look at how measured this guy is.

No, you can't just fire bullets into the air. He's guilty of something right um oh like that brianna taylor case right dude it is i don't know hilarious isn't the word i'm looking for it's it's something else that the police didn't get charged for anything for shooting that woman but they did get charged for missing her the guy got charged with the the bullet that missed her and hit the neighbor's wall wanton endangerment or something like that yeah is it wanton endangerment uh it's based on the soup i think uh what is it wanton i don't know the word it's something very wanton yeah because i heard someone else say wanton endangerment it's it's it's it's something very wanton yeah because i heard someone else say wanton endangerment it's it's it's it's a chinese law uh that's you're guilty of egg roll assault that protest really kind of faded out of nowhere didn't it that brianna taylor like that was going

to be the mother of all protests but i don't't know. I haven't been following. Oh, they're not done yet. They're not done yet. Like, like Jesus Christ. Like, like I can't watch ESPN without being reminded about the, the hardships of people anymore. Like,

like I just want to see how the Braves are doing. They lit the St. Louis Metropolitan police station on fire last week. Property value actually went up after that. Yeah. It burnt out all the roaches. Most of the berries are already here. Let's get a couple of masks, some CO2.

We got a business. I really took care of the rat problem. I don't know. Smells good too. The St. Louis, did you say police department burnt down? Yeah, some people threw firebombs in there because it was just like Wednesday. That's funny to me like yeah st louis

it takes a lot to make the news here yeah i mean like i don't go hang out downtown on the weekends anymore just in case something pops off like i don't want to get trapped desperately want to go down there and just see how dangerous it really is you're here we are here we are i desperately want you to go until it's too late. I will wear a disguise, right? You see where I'm going with this? You cannot wear blackface to blackface. Head downtown and...

You get your hair squared up again? Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't get squared up again. No, I know you're in town, Woody. I'm just really busy. I can't hang out. I'm going to stream Among Us. I'm not going to go.

Yeah, I mean, if I'm in proper disguise, nothing could happen. Okay. Thinking ahead. Have fun. Yeah, anyway, that Frank Hassel boogie story has been the most interesting little internet development to me over the course of the last week. And I think you're right. I didn't see, granted

I haven't been on Twitter a lot today, but I haven't seen a lot of new developments. It'll probably just fade away. I don't know. That would be silly for Frank to let it fade away if he could press some sort of civil charges or something like that and just keep digging the shit fire. Yeah, because I'm sure it's good for his views and shit.

Of course it is. I've barely heard of it. All I know about Frank Hassel is he's the guy who hassles Boogie. That's his identity at this point. Maybe he can springboard this to the guy that hassles other people as well. Oh, let's hope so.

Right? I can't believe those text messages, though. come in he's like no trust me bro i can just straight up murder this guy it's gonna be great yeah it's legal they don't tell me about this by the way apparently the the journalist organization motherboard reached out to frank hassle for comment hassle emailed a photo of a giant piece of shit in a dry toilet dude you gotta watch frank's videos he goes around asking people he goes around with an open pack of hot dogs asking people if they drop their dogs and they'll go insane like regular people will just start freaking out that he keeps asking them if they drop their hot dogs because of the absurdity of it, I guess. That's an enormous turd.

It says hi there, I'm a reporter with Motherboard, Vice's science and tech side. I'm reaching out to see if you'd be interested in doing an interview about the shooting. Just the only response is a giant turd in a dry toilet. Look at Frank's URL.

And it says gag on it. Good God. How could that... This person has a huge butthole. Any poop that leaves my butthole is shaped into something smaller. This is like a baby. I've never seen a shit like that.

You're right. But I remember there was one time i went into my grade school bathroom i was maybe seven or eight and i saw a piece of shit bigger than anything i had no idea something like that could exit the human body and i was blown away because to me i was like that's an adult poop like there's some giant adult must be around here and i went to my friend's house like a month or two later and i guess he just as i learned in school didn't flush his shits and i went in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom we were doing a sleepover and it was like oj's hand in the glove

of shit where i was like it's fucking you Michael. You're the big asshole kid. I thought it was the janitor and it was you. I never told anyone, but yeah, I know about your big shits man. I think Michael was getting raped. And he was leaving those enormous turds as some sort of like pedophiles breadcrumb.

Oh no. Would just take note. And the only person that noticed is, look at that big poop. Yep. Yep. You didn't speak up. You got to speak up and speak out, Taylor. When you see those breadcrumbs, when you see those enormous poops, that's someone's cry for help.

Frank Hassell has been sissy trained. That's what's happened, right? Now he's happened right now he's right he someone's given it to him with an enormous penis that's causing him to leave those enormous poops probably uh you know your friend might have might have been flushing taylor but um yes it didn't go down you're getting unfairly he's getting unfairly maligned here. He is being maligned. And if I talk to him for the first time in 15 years, I'll tell him. Let's get him on the show. I would rather him be the guest on the show than just about anyone in the world right at this moment.

What if we could just call him up out of the blue? Hey, will you video call me? It's Taylor. Yeah, I guess. What's up? And then just immediately confront him about the pedophilia large were you how often were you raped sir talked since 2001 or so it's not an answer to my question

so all right before we get to the next thing and by the way this episode of pk is brought to you by smart mouth postmates and goat we're going to hear from a couple of them right now postmates So, all right, before we get to the next thing, and by the way, this episode of PKA is brought to you by SmartMouth, Postmates, and Goat. We're going to hear from a couple of them right now. Postmates, this episode of PKA is brought to you by a company we have a lot of personal experience with, and that is Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing, and you're eating it. You know what's not great? Getting it.

And the only fast things that deliver aren't what you're craving. Introducing Postmates, the app that adds delivery option to your favorite restaurants. Imagine anything you want to eat delivered. No need to drive, park, or even talk to people on the phone. Just download the app and order 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Postmates will bring you what you want within the hour. You can even see where your food is and track your driver. You forgot the eggs and milk? No problem. Craving a tasty burger? Check. Looking for the perfect bottle of red wine or a summer beer? Order up. Postmates is your new long-term munchies booty call. For a limited time, Postmates is giving you $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app today, the Postmates app, and use code PKA. That's code PKA for $100 of free delivery credit in your first seven days. Save the hassle. Get the food you love fast at Postmates with code PKA. A hundred bucks off your groceries. A fantastic.

Lots of people talking about this deal. I'm very rich, but I'm not going to give up a hundred dollars. Every so often we have a coupon code that's free. And I'm like, that's a great price. But negative one hundred dollars might be our best coupon. Did you hear this? Lots of people talking about this. There's some retards who still go into restaurants.

Have you heard this? You can get that food right out of your door. A hundred dollars free. PKA. Also brought to you by Goat.com. If you're buying sneakers online, there's a good chance that the shoe you're looking at is fake. How can you be sure it's real?

Well, Goat.com is the safest way to buy and sell authentic sneakers online. They're the largest marketplace in the world for authentic Yeezys, Jordans, and over 600,000 sneaker listings. They've made the whole process frictionless and trustworthy. They do this by only accepting sellers with the best reputation and by verifying the sneakers to ensure their authenticity for buyers. Every single detail is inspected from the stitching and color to the size and weight. GOAT certifies that every single pair of sneakers on their site matches exactly with factory specifications. With over half a million sneakers on the platform and 10 million

users, you will not find better prices for verified 100% authentic sneakers anywhere else. Find the perfect 100% authentic sneaker at goat.com slash PKA. That's goat.com slash PKA. Plus, you'll also be supporting the show, but you've got to go right now before the sneakers you want are gone. Go to goat.com slash PKA. Spell G-O-A-T dot com slash PKA. Get yourself some high quality, 100%

authentic sneakers. Check them out. Otherwise, you're going to get ripped off. You're going to get fake sneakers. How fake would the sneakers be? What's like a nightmare scenario? Fake sneakers. Misspelled Nikes.

Oh, yeah. Get the Nikes. Okay. misspelled nikes oh yeah there are nikes get the nike okay that'd be a pretty big mess up i can't remember what i wanted to talk about i had a thing though oh well maybe i'll save that for later i was going to talk about that audiobook i've been listening to that's really good but what is it i need an audiobook i'm driving tomorrow it's the hell divers hell divers oh two thumbs up is it really good where i really like it and and and like this probably won't be a selling point for you but like the second book is he is is has really

got me hooked but it's free that's the that's the real selling point because there's no buying to be done. If you've got audible, not an audible ad or anything, but it is free on audible. It's like free with your subscription. Um, it's, I think the first book's like eight or nine hours long or something like that. It's good. I like it. You know, it's post post apocalyptic. Everybody like the last of humanity is living in these airships sort of above the poisoned earth and poisoned storm clouds that are between and uh they have to send these hell diver guys down to the surface to like scavenge for parts and supplies and fuel and shit like that

and uh the earth is this poisoned wasteland with these mutated monsters on it that they have to inevitably end up in machine gun fights with. So that's pretty fun. And they're always getting ripped apart and gutted and radiation poisoning. And everybody on the ship is sick and has cancer and they're dying. It's good. I like it. Audiobooks are good.

I feel like I rediscovered audiobooks a couple years ago. I knew that they existed. It was usually just a way for me to learn something new. But now I've been doing audiobook fiction. And it's 8 to 34 hour movies. I really appreciate it when they're performed by an ensemble cast. I might have used ensemble incorrectly. But if it's just one guy doing all the voices that can be good if they get a women to do the women voice as a guy if they

get seven people put together and really perform the book that's a that's a bonus to me that's where we disagree i uh i always listen to the sample first you know to see what i'm getting into because i i want to see what this guy's voice is like like i the author will read the book, and I guess some people are into that, and I'm just like, ah, this guy's best talent is writing, not speaking. This is no good. But then the other thing that I really dislike is when a woman reads the book to me. That's the second worst thing that could happen. And then the third worst thing that could happen is if a bunch of people read the book to me. I don't need that. I want one dude. I want

one dude and I want him to do the voices for everyone. And he just has to do a passing job. He doesn't have to nail it to the wall or anything. He just has to do a pretty good job. If he can do a child voice, a woman voice, and nail a few accents, like the guy who's reading this. Give me the level of child and woman voice from you that would be acceptable. What, I have to do it myself? Yeah, yeah. What do you think I'm doing? To communicate this idea.

No. It's like your best voice. Like, I'm a woman. I'm doing my best. Oh, you do kitty well. That's pretty my best. Oh, I'm Kitty. You do Kitty well. That's pretty good. So you could do something derivative of that. Do a child's voice.

Just get into the character. Think of yourself as a big lolly and a pin hat. You know, you're skipping. The pinwheel hat? The propeller hat, yeah. The propeller hat. Just picture it. Give me your best child.

There's not enough food sir please no that's that's oliver twist that's oliver twist that's the that's the first child that came to my mind yeah you can't you can't emulate a child and if you can't just do oliver twist no you have to pick a different child that's the unique child i'm never gonna have a career as a book reader no man i had i read a book i don't have a full cast of people i i i was like this hot 20 something year old early 20s she was young i don't want some dude doing her you know she needs to be doing her own voice now that sometimes that's true if the dude can't do a good girl voice then i'm out like i told you about listening to red dragon about a month ago, and the guy had the most gravelly voice. She turned to Lord Faramir and said, I'm gushing for you. That literally happened. That literally

happens in Red Dragon. The lady and her husband are in the car. They're children in the back seat. So she leans over and whispers, I want your big cock in me as far as it'll go. And I'm just like, where do those big poops come from? He sounded more like a wrestler. Yeah, no, this girl. I don't need pussy and show it who's boss.

Saturday only. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Tear me apart. Put your cock in as far as it'll go when man eater versus the caracalon yeah it's no good it's no fun i don't like that but if they do a good child voice like roy detries obviously with the game fucking sucked he did a 93 variations of old man people he was fucking horrible and his worst voice was a horn that's what he did it was the weakest most feeble man dare you oh when he died i bought a cake he was the worst he was the worst those stories he was terrible i get it he did 93 different characters and they all sounded

different if they all sounded the same and i don't think that job but i agree that it's not like he was all of people it was rare that you would hear a voice and be like oh wow i know exactly who this is. It's like, no, I know who this is because I know who the chapter is. It's not because – George Atreus was so feeble. He was way past his prime. I'm still convinced it's hard to beat age-appropriate actors doing their thing.

The girl when I talked about, she was clever and sarcastic. And it takes a young girl to do uh clever and sarcastic and you know it takes a young girl to do the clever sarcastic girl right they nail that like particular kind of thing where if some old dude was doing roy detries was doing her get the fuck out of here i want the i i do want it to be one guy i don't want a cast of characters doing voices like if i'm if i'm doing the is that how you like your tv shows and your movies yeah if i'm doing i turn doing the is that how you like your tv shows and your movies yeah i turn closed caption on and i read all the lines to myself when i watch tv we have to watch every movie on mute yes i'm a purist you know what that's how i excuse

write it down and i'll read that question to me that's what i say that's why i can honestly say oh i love reading yeah i just read breaking bad i just read uh south park i speak yeah but check out i haven't checked out that book if you're if you're looking for something else there's a bunch of them like i'm on book two um and uh i'm not gonna spoil anything but it's a lot like fallout which is really cool because I love the Fallout series. And I think I've seen like, I don't know, there's three or four or five or six of these things. There's a bunch of them. Really good.

You're talking about the Fallout Pandemic Special, Taylor, maybe? The South Park one? Yeah, I was going to watch it last night after I finished streaming, and then it turns out you need to wait 24 hours if you're going to watch it through the HBO Max app. So I guess i'll watch it tonight maybe if i'm not too tired after this that rule is inconsistent i don't understand it like uh it is i used to watch uh people gave me shit for it but i used to like to watch bill maher i haven't watched him in a couple years but uh i don't know it seemed like you had to wait a day or sometimes more than today i can't

figure out when you watch it and it's already like if it's a weekly show and it's kind of news oriented it's already history you let it age a couple more days and it's like what the fuck are we even talking about that that was four topics ago yeah i think different shows have different deals you know based on the streaming service and the network and everything because um i'm trying to think like maybe it's always sunny you know that would come out on fx and then you'd have to think like maybe it's always sunny you know that would come out on fx and then you'd have to wait like at least 24 hours the really nice thing about like premium channels like like like the boys for example the boys comes out on fridays it seems like it really comes out on thursday night really late i think it's gonna be on at like midnight

tonight i think when it's thursday they're like yeah well it's thursday let's go let's put it out there the boys is good at the beginning of this season i'm not gonna spoil anything at the beginning of this season i thought boys was good and it has just gotten better every episode and uh uh yeah some shit went down last episode i really enjoyed i they just consequential things go down and i think it's nice yeah i uh i looked up um the scene where uh the starlight blows like half the seven on uh on reddit and uh because i wanted to see if they actually comics yeah yeah because i wanted to see if they actually drew the cocks and homelander's dick is no less than 13 inches long or something like that it is gargantuan it's it's like this fucking water

bottle it's so fucking big so there's not a spoiler uh the deep she doesn't blow him just noteworthy where she does in the tv show this is a year ago i'm not spoiling shit uh but what's funny is the dialogue with homelander and her you know she's like oh you're a homelander like why would you do this you could have anybody and he's like what i seem to have right now is a communication problem because you're not sucking my dick yet pretty much she's like you you're the seven you're the greatest heroes in the world yeah and right now we want our dick sucked it's like, you're the seven. You're the greatest heroes in the world. Yeah, and right now we want our dicks sucked. Yeah, and I'm bored of raping, basically. Just saying.

Do some coercion here. I saw the one. You saw what? That's a good show. I like the first season, but is it Carl Urban? Is that the butcher guy? Yeah. His accent is so thick thick it's distracting to me

the whole time. It's too much. Which character is that? Taylor, how do you not know who the butcher is? Like a child that wanders into the middle of a movie, Taylor. No, his accent. Who's the guy with like the costume kind

of gravelly voice with a really distracting accent i didn't think that once in season one from him you haven't watched season two it's too thick it's too thick it is annoying it does take me out of a little bit it's too much because like how long has he been in america where it hasn't softened up a little bit he's he still sounds like he's in a fucking pub somewhere he doesn't even sound like that schwarzenegger's accent has changed so much in the over the decades it's so good now he sounds like he got here a week ago that's not fair doesn't he do that on purpose doesn't he do like take training like uh accent training to keep it because it's part of his brand he does yeah he does yeah he's taking classes for both he took

years and years of english classes and now he has to like try to maintain get rid of it and they say no stop bring it back i'm just sleeping in hell in my mind i don't know uh yeah the boys might be my is the best show on tv right. I don't know. Yeah, The Boys is the best show on TV right now. I don't know what could be better. I'm waiting for the whole season to get out, and then I think I'll blow through season two. There's six out now. They're about to hit seven tonight-ish.

I think it only does eight, right? I'm not sure. Eight? The whole season? I wish it was more. Oh, but we mentioned this on PKN. They're doing a spinoff. So hopefully next year we start getting two seasons a year. I don't know.

That'd be cool. Hopefully they, they like counter balance them. Right. So that like you get one in the spring and one in the fall. Isn't it way too early to make a spinoff series in the middle of season two? Shouldn't they be pursuing making sure that shows as good as possible before they start

foraying into... Man, we need content. We're going insane. We need content right now. This is based on totally nothing. I didn't read this. I made it up myself. I bet a character dies and then the spinoff involves that character.

Maybe a prequel type thing. That's how i see it going yeah maybe maybe or maybe they like maybe we meet a character who like comes in and helps the boys who's like from some like middling like regional superhero group and then you know he's he's like like they're like the mini seven of milwaukee or something like that there's an equivalent to the set so i guess the seven's the main one but there's some people knocking on the door is almost the seven the seven is justice league there's another one that is the avengers and i have like the payoff or something that's not right but it's close and uh they're

the like avengers parallel so maybe it's about them. That'd be cool. That'd be cool. I like it. I like it. Are the Avengers here in the Justice League? In the tier department? Wait, wait. Which one has Superman in it?

Because Superman beats everyone. The Justice League. Superman. No. I think I have a pretty solid understanding. I'll have you know I watched Iron Man. I watched Iron Man 1. I watched the first avengers i watched has like

giant characters that eat galaxies to sustain their self that sounds like prop like scare propaganda to their superpowers i don't care for them like universe to universe consuming galaxies and eating suns and i think he just eats planets, right? What? That's a bad guy and the Hulk's going to beat him up? Galacticus. He might just eat planets. It's Galactus.

And the Silver Surfer is like his servant. His herald. He's like a scout who goes out and makes sure that there are proper planets to eat or something like that. He's like a scout that goes out and makes sure that there are proper planets to eat or something like that. Yeah, and he's just rolling around eating those planets up. But yeah, they beat him back a few times. I don't think they did overkill him.

I remember my last memory with the Silver Surfer is going over to a friend's house and playing action figures. And I had this really cool looking Bane with all the wires plugged into the back of his head. And he wanted to play the back of his head and he wanted to like play the lore of like well i'm playing the silver surfer and he can eat or he can fly a million miles an hour and so actually before you can even punch him he's gonna fly so fast at him that he'll disintegrate and it was like your question alex you're a bitch and i don't want to play with you is is this the same kid that laid the fat turds? No, different kids.

Different kids. Okay, you hung out with quite the crowd. You had your own little group of Avengers. I was a weird kid. You got a good memory, too. I'm starting to learn that. Yeah, I was an odd kid. I don't know if I remember playing with action figures.

Were you like 13, 14 years? This is last year. This is three days ago. Monday. I just remember always thinking, this is so stupid. Look at how big Bane's arms are. Of course he can beat you up. We can't play all these rules coming in.

I did the same thing with a buddy of mine eric who i wanted to play with his really expensive toy setup that he wasn't supposed to play with because his dad like collected him and i i i got bullied well a little bullied was like come on dude you're gonna be trying to look at these toys you never play with these toys these gi joes and these toy soldiers and everything he hit note him and then he hit him right into it and then i remember like i was like picking all my pieces and setting up my army and everything cool and he was like while you were picking all those i went to my dad's other cabinet and got the challenger space uh bomber and so i'm gonna fly above where your anti-air can even reach

and blow up everything you had and it was like this is this isn't how games are played like that kid's kind of an asshole, huh? I never went back to his house. That guy sucked. Yeah, I don't think I'd want to play any action figure games with him. I didn't play with action figures after I was... It was fucking weird, and I remember as we were playing, sitting down in his basement, and

his brother was just watching us play, being a little weird, and then just out of nowhere we were playing, and his brother just sitting on the couch just goes, and just threw up like as we're playing we just hear and my friend acted like oh no he just does that sometimes see i didn't grow up with brothers so i didn't get that i didn't play any games like that and do stuff like that unless i had a friend over yeah yeah i never got that stuff so most of the games and stuff i did i had i had to find stuff that i could do by myself so i was in you know video games or like play some make

believe where you're like the ship commander and you've got all your houses electronics just pushing fucking buttons on a vcr like you're fucking flying a spaceship it was rough that's why i got into guns. There wasn't much else to do. Did you ever do that when you were a kid where your parents were like, alright, outside time, and you're just like, alright, I'm just going to kind of walk into the woods.

What can I imagine? What am I? Oh, I'll be Aragorn. And you just make up a story. Nah, that's super lame. What? You had a vivid imagination., that's super lame. What? No, you just... You didn't play for 10? You had a vivid imagination.

I have a vivid imagination. Taylor, so you were just kicked outside and meant to go play? All the time, yeah. I would be like, all right, outside time, and I'd stand there with my brother and be like...

Somehow that... We could air-scan it. We could take him to the woods. ...disappeared after I became a parent. We've never been able to just be like, all right kids get out it wouldn't let us back in until really oh straight yeah taylor i had those same rules yeah it was like there's no way you're watching tv on saturday morning back in at like four

to be like oh i'm gonna grab a soda they'd be like you you thought we wouldn't be in the kitchen and you're gonna try and watch tv it's It's like, bitch, back outside I go. Yeah, we have never just told our kids to go outside and not come back. It would have made parenting easy. I imagine. That's why they did it. I went to this one guy's house once who had a brother. He actually had a younger brother and an older brother.

And that had shaped them into different kinds of human beings than I was used to. Like, we went down to their basement, and their basement was like a big playroom. There was a big pool table in the middle of the room. And there were just toys scattered everywhere, just of every kind. Everything from He-Man swords to Legos. I guess I'm maybe 11 or 12, something like that. Formative years.

And we were going to play with some toys. And then all of a sudden the lights flipped off and it's completely dark. And I'm kind of, I've never been in this room before. So I'm just like, Hey, Hey, where,

where, where'd you guys go? And I just hear and shuffling. dark and i'm kind of i've never been in this room before so i'm just like hey hey hey where where uh where'd you guys go and i just hear and shuffling and shuffling of feet like like like and i'm just like and now i'm afraid i'm like what the fuck is this i am in a basement this is kind of scary and i'm barefooted and i'm fucking stepping on legos and shit like like trying to get toward the the door trying to get out they this is a game they play it's called blackout mode or some shit where they arm themselves and then cosplay as fucking ninja turtles or he-man or whatever is like a power ranger and they just beat the fucking shit out of each other in the dark. They come across the back of my knees with a he-man sword and take me down.

See, that's fun. That's good old-fashioned fun. That was terrifying. I never got in big fist fights with my brothers or anything. Part of it is because I was always so much bigger, it just wasn't an option. Yeah, that's not how that works. As a younger brother, I can tell

you it doesn that was like actually i did have four brothers before the accident i will say the only times i gave my brother a concussion it was on accident it was never malicious but i was at a friend's house once and like i thought the whole like brothers beating the shit out of each other was more of a meme where it's like yeah you'll get in a tussle where like you're wrestling, you're fucking around. But once they're on the ground, you're not just going to start laying hammers into their face. And I guess this guy, this must have been middle school. I went over to his house the first time and I think he had that.

And it was like, you know, when someone invited you to their house a lot and you didn't really want to hang out with them that much. And eventually you do. And they're in like impress this person mode like and so it was like that and he he was like from southern arkansas or something and so he was you know his name was josh his brother was jared or something he was like jared where's the other uh where's the other a64 controller i got one yeah where's yours ty Taylor needs another we're playing Mario Kart he's like

I ain't giving you that fucking controller you broke the the nub off mine last time I let you use it Jared you bring that fucking controller

and I was at this point like whoa like there's parents in the house you can't say that bring that fucking controller down or I'm gonna come

get it up there. And I was like, you know, we can go outside or something. It's like Mario Kart. I just got it. And so he goes up there. He's like, follow me. We're getting that controller. We go up there.

And I thought it was going to be like, hey, I got it. Fuck you. Like that kind of thing. He went in there and his brother had the controller like like sitting on it in like defensive we've done this before posture and then they got in an honest to god fist fight in front of me eating the shit out of each other and the one guy ends it by because he wrestled he's on the wrestling team with me he's got his younger brother's arm in like the bent behind his back but in the raised bent behind his back,

like he could break it out of the elbow anytime. He's like, you're going to hold that on that controller anymore. You going to give my friends controllers and they come over. And it was like, this is, I don't even want to play Mario Kart. I was like,

yeah, I'm going to have to lose in this guy. That guy was, was a lunatic, an absolute lunatic. I remember because I wrestled with him the same way. We didn't have enough wrestlers in middle school. He was at 125 pounder.

I was a 135 pounder. And there was nowhere else for this other guy to go. We had a 160 pounder with us. And this little guy, Josh, was so much better than both of us thank god he liked me there were times where i thought he was going to do that same thing and break my arm but he absolutely bullied the shit out of this other kid and tried to include me in it or be and this other kid i'll add was the kid i was always nice as fuck too because i knew if someone was going to show up with an ar one day it would, it might have been this gentleman.

And I wanted to be safe. You wanted to go to the green list. Yeah, I wanted to make the green list. And I always imagined, oh, Taylor, don't come to school tomorrow. Like that kind of thing. Oh, yeah. Would you tell or would you just not show up?

I would absolutely tell. I wouldn't show up and I would tell. Oh, come on. If someone told you they're going to shoot up your school, you wouldn't tell? Well, what if they didn't shoot it up? What if they chickened out and you look like such a jerk having told everybody?

He's showing you favor, right? He's recognizing that you're a chill dude, and you're just going to immediately go turn that on its head and rat him out? He's way cooler to you than you are to him. Yeah. What if it's a test? Bad friend. What? He's testing you to see if you belong on the yeah what if it's a bad friend what he's testing you to see if you belong on the list you're bad friend you know what you're right the first threat

i'll play along yeah yeah yeah do that yeah i got a sister so i grew up in a world without violence, but I have I think there's nine boy cousins on my Mexican side. I remember when like God, I think we were like 10 through 10 through probably 17. And we were all hanging out at a family reunion. We're all hanging out at my parents house. And we found we found two pairs of boxing gloves in the garage. I don't know why my parents had them. They should have locked them up like a fire extinguishers when all of us were around. We put them on and decided to do some amateur boxing in the garage,

even though there was two years between all of us. One of the sets was these comically large 16-ounce gloves, and the other ones were these little 8-ounce gloves. So, bigger kids uh when we were intelligent you know we weren't working on our smarts said that we were you know kind of cobbling together smarts but we thought that because the bigger kids were stronger that they should have the smaller gloves and the little kids because they were lacking in power, should have the big gloves. It works like a video game, like buffs.

So it was I mean, the first fight was like my oldest cousin and his brother. And it was a really savage beat down that I still that I still remember those whipping those spider arms with eight ounce gloves down on his little brother uh with the punishing him with the impunity of well we both agreed to this so it's totally fine um that that didn't last long that was a day i lived in ocean city so i was probably about 14 or so and i made a friend who was strong right he just he hit puberty and just fucking hulked out even though he was 14 and he was my friend i on the other hand looked 11 so he came over and my brother was like you know just being an older brother like low-grade bullying or whatever how much older is he than you two years um so uh and my friend is like what oh no no that's not how this goes and my friend is like, what? Oh, no. No, that's not how this goes.

And my friend is more than happy to engage with my older brother. Even though he's two years older, he's like, I'm your huckleberry. So we end up like 2v1ing my brother. We hold him down. We're giving him cherry belly. Cherry belly. Oh, yeah. Pink belly.

My brother had a bit of a weight problem. So was like just like rock in his belly tell me what he the whole time you were slapping were you chanting pink belly pink belly pink it's cherry belly in my area but okay yeah you know and and just all sorts of like just like bullying like we didn't hurt him but i got to win so you heard him he he thinks about this every night before bed oh we'll hang in there so my parents are like you know what he we don't like that you guys did this and i'm like what what i've been losing fights for 14 years you didn't think shit about that what the fuck i finally win a fight and now we have rules no no that's not how this goes and they're like

their ass yeah you know they were like yeah yeah, I guess we let him kick your ass for 14 years. You win. Fair is fair. It panned out. If that man hears Cherry, Cherry Belly tonight, he's going to fucking flinch.

Dude, I don't know. You fuck with the same guy for decades. You deserve it. How about another joke, Murray? That's what every school shooter says. That's what every school shooter says. What do you get when you take a socially distant loner and put him in a society that abandons him? is what the need is this from the joker it sounds

like yeah yeah another great movie i need to re-watch that again really do you get along better with younger siblings woody with your shared trauma i only have an older brother is that did that answer your question no like other people who are the younger one do you get along with them uh well no maybe my wife's the youngest uh there you go yeah okay i said whenever i meet an older sibling i'm like yeah yeah fuck them right fuck the little ones yeah totally they bitch bitch all the time they bitch all the fucking time they don't understand how much trail had to be blazed by us pin them down for 14 years and abuse them and now they're like stop it i remember just the amount of shit my brothers would get away with that never would have flied when i was their age i remember my youngest brother was in fourth grade he's seven years younger than me and at what he was

going to some school and maybe halfway through the school year, my mom was like, this school fucking sucks. We're taking him out. And my dad's like, what do you mean we're taking him out? Like, just leave him in there until the next school year and we'll switch the schools. And she was like, nope, I'm going to homeschool him for the rest of the year. We're taking him out. And he was so young at the time, but he still had the cognition to be like this is a fucking dope deal for me and he knew that she would be too busy with other stuff or just not

wanting to teach and so she would give him things like uh she told him hey you need to read tom sawyer and write a book report on it and i remember going down there one day and she would give inordinately long amounts of time because she didn't want to teach him to do these projects you'd be like you got a month read tom sawyer and write a book report and i remember going down there once and seeing him and opening it up and seeing him looking back at me hoping it wasn't mom or dad as he's playing with his legos and he's like jesus taylor i gotta be honest with you i haven't read any of tom sawyer i've been playing with legos for eight weeks Taylor, I got to be honest with you. I haven't read any of Tom Sawyer.

I've been playing with Legos for eight weeks. And I was like, you know what that means, of course. I need you to go get me a soda. And so for the longest time, like months and months after that, even when he was back in regular school, he spark noted and wrote something. I don't even think my mom read the book to, to see if he did.

And, and so anytime we wanted something from him, from like, he was at the age where he thought like, you know, even two years later when he was 10 or whatever, he still thought that was a huge deal. So it'd be like, we just code word.

We'd say, get this for me. No, screw you. Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer. And then We'd say, get this for me. No, screw you. Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer. And then he would go and do it for years. See, I misunderstood.

I thought when you told him to go get you a soda, you were sitting down to write him a book report because you're a good brother. No, no. I was saying go get me a soda or I'm going to tell mom and dad that you've been faking reading this whole thing. I thought you were like, I read it three years ago. Go get me a soda. I'll start to work. No, no.

You're just immediately segwaying to blackmail. Yeah, and it worked. I got a lot of sodas and snacks. Jackie's older sibling vibe right there. I knew right away, Taylor. Oh, yeah, you got him. You got right where you want him. He's fucking dead to rights.

You're done, kid. He'll even look back now and be like, do you guys remember when you just made me do chores for you for years because of tom sawyer it was like yeah you should just read the fucking book dude jackie's sisters she was the youngest of three and uh they always did nice things for each other you know if you want it that one would just be like hey will you make me a tea and they're like yeah yeah sure i can do that 30 years later i'm still on that train i could ask her for a coffee right now she does it that's just the culture in their family it's nice nice people yeah god oh kyle you were so calculated like you wouldn't have done exactly what i did but depend if i'd read tom sawyer before it seems like it's much it's gonna be more more conducive to like a good living environment if i write the book report for him which would be

easy for me and then he would just do things for me because i wrote him a book report and you have stronger blackmail he eventually wrote his own book report right no no he like he like lifted from spark notes jesus christ like just just straight up like so homeschooling didn't go so well huh no you went back to school the next year and this is the same the same brother who he was like he actively didn't want to do well in grade school it'd be like was like he actively didn't want to do well in grade school it'd be like third fourth grade and it'd be like you're about to fail fourth grade like how and he's like i'm just not doing any of the homework they're like yeah you're not doing it do you not know how to do it he's like no i know how to do it like but so you're just not doing it correct that was me in high school yeah he just was like i don't fucking care

and would not do the schoolwork and would go in with like a folder full of undone work every day throw it in front of the teacher that he hated and be like and like his punishment at one point for that this is before you got pulled out of the school was every day you come home from school you go in your room and you read the Bible until dinner, and then you go to bed. And he had hundreds of dollars of Legos in his room. And once again, after like a month of that, of continued punishment,

I would like walk in on accident or not knocking first and just, he would admit like, hey, Taylor, I haven't read even a page of the Bible. I don't know how mom and dad don't know what's going on because every time they come in here this like dope castle i'm building gets better and better don't you think they knew don't you think they're gonna read the bible code for get out of my hair i could just see like my dad getting home from a stressful day at work and just being like i don't care i don't i don't i don't care i'm gonna go enjoy my dinner and sit down with a

glass of wine or something but yeah he he got away with murder that would have never flown for me like if i got a even if i got like a b-minus try no no i just test them never like i was always pretty good with school i would get stressed out if i didn't have tasks completed and so i would like go through my list and get stuff done and then i would enjoy myself i i never understood how he could do that how anyone could do that like in college i had so many friends who ended up dropping out because they'd be like yeah it's sunday night just off a three-day drinking bender huge paper due in the morning don't care right boys and it's like what's wrong with you like this isn't free like this is this is really expensive to be here man like you're just throwing money in the toilet if you're not bashing your glasses but anyway that was good

times good times everyone should have younger siblings or siblings i feel bad for only children because they don't yeah they're just doing nothing when i was when i was uh like four my uh my little sister fell in the swimming pool and she was drowning and uh and i got my dad's attention and he saved her life i've regretted that moment almost what three decades 30 years yeah yeah 30 years later if i can go back if i could just have that one fucking marty mcfly moment where i could go back and fix things that's the moment i'm going back to and and i i find little kyle he's like daddy and i'm just like grab the wrist kyle why are you throwing flotation stones at your sister

yeah that yet no then you could have been an only child yes oh that would have been so much better double the inheritance fucking everything she doesn't get anything oh well i you know i'm not privy to your father's will i am ah it's good that he has a will yeah everyone should make a will because it's a pain in the ass for everyone around you if you die and you don't have a will. You should do that. What about a riddle will? Do you recommend that at all? That's the funniest

possible. Wrong social security numbers and stuff like that. No, it's just an actual riddle. See who casts three stones. I want to have a push-up contest that would be the ultimate thing if you're like a billionaire with a will just a fake puzzle

a fake puzzle that doesn't lead anywhere that would be hilarious the ultimate you could do that with like 100 bucks like somebody's gonna want to do it you know no matter how dude it's funnier if it's lower because you get dumber people to do it yeah you know for 15 dollars you get some real fools to have a work in that art dude it's like 30 days from the election or so we've barely talked politics this year the first debate happened dick did you watch it oh yeah um it was you know what i want in a president i just want the president who's gonna push around a senile old man and that's exactly what i saw just dominated when trump started laying into the moderator that's when i that's when i remembered why i voted for him the first time like yeah you go after chris fuck chris wallace trump lay in fuck no one cares about biden just go after him um it was whole it felt like gutting

like i was full of cope the next day uh it was just like such an embarrassing display uh i don't know if trump was prepared for biden to just kind of outright lie and not have any idea what his own campaign was i don't know i don't know what was going on hillary was a lot funnier um yeah i was i i listened to some of it i didn't listen to all of it i did get through most of it and i was going in being like oh this is gonna be good there's gonna be some good content and was pretty underwhelmed it wasn't very good content there there were a couple granted a couple very funny moments but nothing even close to what we saw in 2016 i don't think so trump came off alpha which is kind of a good thing but he also came

off as like a blowhard asshole and biden came off beta but he also was miles away from like the dementia ridden in his gurney blanket up to his chest eating sweets like dementia dude that they said eating sweets right yeah yeah i couldn't believe that whatever they gave him um i don't know they've got to double it next time because he came off as lucid which was shocking he didn't have him been watching his speeches which is understandable because they're super boring but if you get past like the twitter compilations then he's pretty lucid actually but uh so watching it i thought i gave the slight edge to trump and then as the news cycle digested it it's all about what an asshole trump is it's mostly his failure to denounce like white

supremacy very well and then the next day he also fails to denounce white supremacy very well and uh and him interrupting 128 times or something like that no that's like so tell me about the supremacy woody so tell me about the yeah oh i'm with you i want to talk about the proud boys because everyone keeps saying what do they believe what's their thing yeah don't jerk off don't jerk yeah yeah they actually you're allowed to jerk off once a month wait this is an anti jerking off no so it seems to me after a bit a very sc scant bit of, uh, uh, of reading that they're not a white supremacy organization, but they are sort of a traditional conservative value organization with that likes to punch people revolving around eating off. Um, I, I, I read something about how they, you know, they believe that, you know,

that women shouldn't be shamed into the workplace and their families work better if there is a um a mother at home looking after the white supremacy and uh i i want to pull up a picture of the guy who runs the proud boys yeah he's not white because he's very white because he's very much not white isn't he an hispanic guy he's like uh half african half hispanic or something the ultimate white supremacist they'll never suspect it yeah yeah it's it is crazy that traditional values in white supremacy are synonymous right we're we're is that's okay i mean everybody's on the same page there right they're not talking about actual white supremacy they're just talking about like traditional values male centric world like uh no jovenism they're look at that white supremacist

wait is this really the proud boys leader it is yeah and they're a white supremacist this guy's black i guess they're national white nationalists or something like that i got a little mixed up black well you can also find like you know women against women's suffrage too that doesn't mean that it's a pro woman group they said that there are more um there's more uh multi-racial leadership in the proud boys than in the democratic party that's not surprising but like yeah i mean it this guy's fucking black dude like wait woody are you woody do you think the proud boys is a white uh white supremacy group in any way like that they're for white people or white stuff i don't know how to i feel like i don't know that

well i don't know that well i read that the fbi had like briefly classified him as some sort of white nationalist uh hate group and then they said no no no they're not a white nationalist hate group they just have white nationalist haters in the group but the whole group isn't about that what group doesn't i mean you wouldn't want us labeled as white nationalist hate group but there's certainly a couple of white nationalists in the group you had boogie 1488 on and didn't you 14 there you go that's true we've had him on a number of times although you can't judge him because of the hypnotism that he's been subjected to oh my god that would be the funniest defense claiming that he was under frank's hypnotic rule as he fired that

this serious psychic was threatening me with mental control and when he arrived there was a force pulling me to the door. I willed with every ounce of my being to roll back but I couldn't. I had to come through the door. Can I just say that threatening someone with sissy hypno might

be the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. That is honestly fucking hilarious. Honestly, the name dr don wario that's what started all this because i watched a little bit of the clip on his channel where he's just like accosting some old man at a grocery store being like i'm dr don wario you haven't been taking your pills and the guy's like, get away from me. Stop bothering me. And the employees are coming up and he's like, don't listen to this man. He's crazy.

He hasn't taken his prescribed pills. I'm Dr. Don Wario and he's supposed to be transitioning into a woman. Sir, take your pills. Take your state mandated pills. Just yelling at him. Boogie said, telling me he's going to hog tie and rape and kill me doesn't seem funny to me i'm like the

raped part didn't seem funny to you boogie come come on he said i'm gonna hog tie you the very idea that boogie's flexible enough to be hog tied some extension carabiners in there boogie's looking better and better like he did take it as a compliment. He looks better than he once did. But although he did weigh more than a quarter of a ton. I'm just saying people clearly want to have forced sex with him. And that never happened before. Actually, not according to court records. That was the grossest thing that I'd ever heard on pka by the way

which one and that is quite the fucking statement right like like we've done gone down some gross fucking chicken on this show you yourself have directly linked me dozens of beheadings i've oh so many beheadings so much poop chomping remember the poop chomper the one that burns me yeah that he's wearing the goggles and he's just underneath the lady's butthole and she must have a very high fiber diet because she's just feeding it to him and he has this look of pure pleasure on his face like like he's missed he's like a kid in the movies who gets their head under the soft serve ice cream

machine and they're just like checking to make sure the coast is clear and then oh yeah chocolate vanilla at the same time as much as i can take but he but it's poop not soft serve so he's just what are you saying about boogie i'm saying that that story he told us about that girl that he, I don't remember if he paid her or what he did to her to make her be there, but having her pop the pimples on his back and talking about the puss and how she liked the puss and Oh, God. And all that stuff. Hmm. It was just too real for me.

It got too real in that moment for me. I don't even like remembering it. I don't like remembering it either. But it comes to me every night in the late hours. What causes Boogie to have bacne, I wonder? It's probably sweaty. I mean, I hate to be mean but it's when you don't wash well oftentimes and the pores get clogged you know there's a lot of real estate

back there so you can't reach it you know probably also he's clearly very high t true true yeah i don't even think sissy hypno would work on a man like him no it wouldn't it would be a fruitless endeavor it would probably just rebound off of him and and go back at frank and he would himself become sissy it would make boogie the bull it would be bull hypno on him he'd they'd be trying right yeah he would look at the dom roll and adopt that one that's what he should see that's what Boogie should have done. If he fully embraced this, if he'd said that, he's like, I'm too much of a man to be sissy. No, others have tried it, and you'll fail where

they did, my friend. It's going to rebound upon you. That is the right move. Hindsight's 20-20. What if he showed up and instead of a gun, Boogie walked out with a quadruple XL like ballerina outfit outfit like a sissy and he starts forcibly dressing frank like like like what if what if he'd had a couple of big

old boys what if he'd had like three jeremy's there to like get in a tussle with frank and wrestle him to the ground and start applying sissy makeup to Frank. Dude, the ultimate way to turn this around would have been for Boogie to open the door with no gun, immediately charge Frank and start tearing his pants off. Rape him first. I'm going to suck your cock. Sing in a robotic voice. And then Frank, who doesn't want his dick sucked by Boogie, is going to be the one trying to escape.

This is my IQ. Frank strikes me as the kind of man who fully commits. If that means busting a load on Boogie, he's going to do it. Now, your honor, would this man employ the sissy hypnosis defense for firing the gun when in fact he had sucked Mr. Frank Hassel to completion not two minutes prior. It would be hilarious if Boogie and Frank Hassel started playing

gay chicken and then all of a sudden they're like getting married and adopting children. Each one of them not backing down. I like that. I do. How about that? I guess we better go get a marriage license.

I guess both of us better find a fucking caterer, huh? Yeah, I bet you will, bitch. You're such a fucking bitch. You won't pick out a caterer. You picked out a caterer. Yeah, but you're gonna hate this? I like salmon. Me bitch. You won't pick out a caterer. You picked out a caterer. Yeah, but you're going to hate this? I like salmon. Me too. Me too. You like salmon? Not many people do.

Yeah, actually, I love it. I love it. Really? Yeah, we're going to have the kind of wedding where people have to choose between fish or eggplant. No chicken, no beef. How do you like that? That would be enough. Yeah, I would have loved that but

instead he came out wielding a 44 revolver i'm gonna take a warning shot in 30 seconds and fired it wildly into the air i i love that he's like i'm gonna give you a warning shot 30 seconds fuck you pussy do it right now do it right now 30 seconds bang and he's even saying it like an unhinged lunatic where he's like fire it now fire it now open fire open fire like it's i mean it is i feel like i would never want that visited upon me like what no with here that sounds that's fucked up and that's awful you shouldn't show up at someone's house no No, Taylor, but I keep going back. I agreed with you before Dick came on tonight because Dick gave me so much more information.

The fact that Boogie invited this, literally, now that I realize it wasn't... I understand, I understand. I realize it would be like, yeah, fuck you, come get me. But if I said it once, you might understand. But if I spend like 10 minutes being like, no, no, no, fuck you, come get me. But if I said it once, you might understand. But if I spend like 10 minutes being like, no, no, no. Fuck you.

Come get me. Come get me. You know where I live. Fucking come here. Fucking come at me, bro. You think I'm a sissy? You think your hypnotism will work on me? I've been trained to resist it. Bring it. Bring it. Bring it. At some point... Take your best shot.

Go listen to it i like seriously oh no no you will hear you will hear the you will hear the i hate this don't do this but every single time it's like also laced with i'm gonna fucking kill you and do it i dare you do it do it do it like if you saw two guys rubbing their nipples together outside of a bar doing this routine, and then one of them got socked and goes, call the police. Somebody call the police. That guy hit me. You're like, you shut the fuck up.

You were there the whole time asking for it. Yeah, I don't know, man. Before the show, I was definitely a thousand percent on the boogie side of this thing. But if I'm hearing that, like he, he kept what I'm hearing is not telling it down the middle, right? Does the,

in this last time around, he's like, Hey, you're also going to hear a boogie say, I wish this wouldn't happen. I wish that you would go away. Right. Yeah.

There, there was some fighting words in there mixed with a whole lot of, you know, I seriously don't want to fight. Um, yeah, that's, uh, that's accurate. Um, words in there mixed with a whole lot of you know i seriously don't want to fight like you um yeah that's uh that's accurate um i think that is i don't think you can mix them once you start in with the you're a pussy if you don't show up at my house and knock on the door and then the guy knocks on your door it's like well i mean you were kind of kind of asked him to do that bud uh don't open the door

he says you know where i live frank i'm waiting i'm locked and loaded kyle this is or i'm sorry dick is this little recap video i linked here is that gonna have the podcast that we're talking about uh no no no no it doesn't have the keemstar stuff this is the one that frank hassell posted that's frank hassell's video, yeah. Is that you swiveling to? Oh, it's disjointed. I'm just scanning through this a bit. Apparently there's a lot of other footage of Woody wildly brandishing the gun, making crazy eyes. You said Woody doing it.

No, Boogie. Sorry. Boogie. Okay. it's no booze sorry boogie okay uh there's a lot of other footage in this video of boogie brandishing the gun wildly with insane eyes indoors that i'm 99 sure is like taken from some sort of youtube skit he did not a good idea to do skits with your future murder weapon i think maybe like it's the same gun it's the same gun. It's the same gun. And he's in a house, waving it around, looking crazy eyes. And then they just

edit that in with the footage of him on his step, pointing the gun at Frank with his finger right on the trigger, by the way. Frank is an idiot because Boogie is this close away from fucking killing him. And Frank doesn't realize it. He thinks Boogie's afraid. Boogie is this close away from fucking killing him. And Frank doesn't realize it.

He thinks Boogie's afraid. Boogie is afraid. And he's going to kill you if you push him just a little bit further. He's this close to killing that man. Boogie, I think he has suicidal thoughts. You know what? As I'm just thinking about this, it just occurred to me. Boogie's really prone to self-harm, right?

Boogie makes decisions on his live streams at his YouTube channel. He self-sabotages all the time. Why does he jump on a bed in the back of his live stream and start humping a stuffed animal or something? It's some way to say that I would never hire a prostitute or no one would ever want to fuck me i forget what warped explanation he had but he does shit that he knows is going to have negative ramifications on him is this just one more in a long chain of events yeah boogie hurts himself in weird ways i agree with you because that's that's exactly the feeling that i had when he was asking me what he should do and i'm like man you're just you're being a complete lunatic like this guy's talking about sissy hypnotizing you uh just don't open the

door like don't don't break any laws but you know definitely don't pull a gun out all the police you're gonna have a gun and sit on your living room couch and feel safe while the police come yeah i had the same feeling as you that it was just like this is another dumb self-harm decision that you're making right now um but he needs to see a therapist i'm sure he has well the worst part is we were gonna do a show boogie and me were supposed to do a podcast together oh you guys are starting a podcast what will you call it we we were we were going to reboot the biggest problem show on september 11th uh but he backed out at the last minute because quote he doesn't want to be involved with that side of the internet anymore

i'm like okay well you got a hell of a way to uh you got a hell of a way gonna do a regular podcast on a schedule yeah once a month we were gonna do the exact same biggest problem format where we both brought in a problem and then argued of if it was better or not uh and this whole frank hassell thing scared him off he said he didn't want to be part of it anymore and then he then he lays into frank on keemstar and starts pulling out guns and doing some yard pops um at least we'd at least he'd have something to sell if we'd have done the show but you know no luck jesus christ boogie i he needs to see he needs help he needs mental help professional help he he keeps self

sabotaging he keeps doing these like events that give people ammunition against him and you know like i don't like when people victim blame right you know like everyone's picking on him so why are you what are you doing to let to encourage people to pick on you but in some cases it's like it's the internet i'm not going to be able to change the internet we can only change you yeah yeah yeah i don't get the hate that he gets like everybody really seems to or a lot of people really seem to just dislike him viscerally and they're not able to put into words why they hate him uh it's really it's weird you don't see that you don't see that a lot but when you do like when you see so many people just mindlessly hate somebody and not really be able to explain why, it's weird.

It's weird to me. I don't. I like him. He went from this swing of, you know, the nicest person that could ever exist, right, to more of a regular person. And they consider that to be like, I don't know, this awful turn. Like, oh, my God. He said that he would never shoot another person he'd sooner shoot himself and then if he were being mugged than to shoot the mugger right and now that that's

probably they were just wildly underestimating how suicidal he was that was not an anti-gun yeah yeah i i think that uh it's not that I don't understand the fussing people have at all. I just think it doesn't fit the crime. Yeah. Yeah. Speed of the crime. He definitely committed one. Right.

Reckless. I don't know. There's probably some local ordinance or reckless use of a firearm or brandishing or something. I don't know. It'll depend. It'll depend if they want to actually do anything to him. They may do nothing or they may do something we'll see probably nothing hopefully nothing yeah well i mean it doesn't need any more trouble yeah but i want to see stuff happen no hopefully it all just

blows over how about if you want to see stuff happen maybe frank hassell does it to someone else and he gets punched that that's the kind of internet drama that i think i'd enjoy just punched repeat ground and pound is that okay can you work with me no it's got you're a pussy and i'm gonna sissy hypno you can a sissy i swear to god that's one of the funniest things ever incredibly funny threat like like how can you not like if you threatened me with sissy hypnotism taylor like like even if i was pissed at you before and i was like legitimately angry i just went wait what

all right it's funny. Please don't. Come to your house with what? Like a watch clock. A timepiece. Swing it in front of your eyes. Or however you want to say it. And a bunch of sex toys. And a bunch of sex toys.

And maybe some outfits, yeah. Yeah, just swinging a string of anal beads right in front of you trump should have threatened uh chris wallace with that at the debate i think it would have you say one you interrupt me one more time when i'm trying to get my point across i'm gonna sips the hypnotizer you'll be sucking my cock up here how's that sound do you think joe rogan would have made a better moderator than Chris Wallace? Oh, a million times better. It would have been interesting to see Joe Rogan try to rein Don in, right? Like Chris Wallace tried.

Let's not act like they were both interrupting. One guy was the problem, and that was Trump. Could Joe have been like, Don, what are you doing here? Why do you keep doing this? You got to let him talk too. And then would he just roll over? I don't know. How do you keep doing this you gotta let him talk too and then would he just roll over i don't know like he how do you get trump trump doing a ton of interrupting trying to throw biden off his game you know try and throw him off his game obviously but i also saw chris wallace interrupting like

jumping in on behalf of biden more than trump like i I, I think I, that was known. That was another, you talked about the number of times Trump interrupted, which was definitely more than Biden. Chris Wallace interrupted Trump quite a bit more than the interrupted Biden. He would tell Trump it's not his turn to talk, right? The format was you go for two minutes, you go for two minutes, and then they both go. While Biden's trying to talk, Trump is interrupting him. That's when Chris Wallace would be like, you agreed to these rules. Now they're trying to come up with new debate rules and Trump won't change them. Trump feels like he really crushed it in those debates and he wants to do it again.

How are they doing? Do you guys like those debates? Do you guys like that rule? I personally hate it. Two minutes, you get so much information across to let another guy like respond to all of it it just seems like people can't keep track of all that stuff you know what i mean oh they can't keep track of it and it'll be shit like all right uh president trump or vice president biden it's your turn to respond to climate change and i'll be like and another thing still on the economy that xyz

abc one two three fuck you and it's like oh so we're just like there's it's not an actual debate just let them go for like four hours i don't even think they should have a moderator just put them up there and it's an undefined defined amount of time and it's like trump biden you're just gonna fucking fight or trump hillary whoever it is no moderator that is a terrible idea that would be even worse than what we had last time no it's it's it's close to what we had and it was terrible it was just one guy yelling over the other the whole time no they need to be in soundproof booths with uh with timers and and they literally turn off their microphone like

whenever their time is up and it's like alright now we're going to go to President Trump for his rebuttal and the loser of the debate once again reminding you this is brought to you by Nickelodeon will be slimed that's great you don't think Trump would agree to get slimed he absolutely would if they asked the two candidates like alright

we've got this new debate style loser gets slimed. Biden will hide his stains. Agree, agree. Trump would totally worry about his hair. There's no way. We have a studio audience. He's too vague.

This is a $70,000 haircut. I'm not sure if you read the news. I'm not going to bother with this. They talked about the ability to cut off mics for the next time around. I think that's bad. They should just not be on when it's not their turn, right? I don't want someone to make a decision to cut off mics and have bias and like, you know what?

I think that Taylor's the bigger problem here, so I'm cutting his mic off. And then everyone who's a Taylor fan says what he's biased against. No, no, no, no. If the rule is two minutes, two minutes, both talk, it should be his mic, his mic, then both mics. No need to speak loudly enough so that we hear him through biden's mic what would it work i think he'd look like an ass i had that same thought i don't think what if he takes biden's mind now that would be i don't know if that would that'd be

awesome what if he saunters over there and just wasn't finished yet. Woody, do you not want the president to be an asshole? Right. I don't think it's worked. No, you don't like that? No, we want someone who's a bit of an asshole. Who doesn't have any allies? Doesn't have any allies.

That would be fantastic. No allies in the government at all. And not being, well, we can get into the ally discussion, but yeah, we have tons of allies. Like North Korea and Russia are new allies and European Union, which used to be our allies, are kind of leaving us. The European Union is leaving us?

Aren't they pretty much entirely contingent on us? Yes. Isn't every country just addicted to our money? Like, they still have to deal with us. Everyone has to deal with us to some extent, but there's a difference between, you know, allies and people who have to deal with us.

Yeah. If they're so fickle that they're going to turn their backs on us because the president rubs them wrong, then do we really want them to be our allies? Every single allegiance we have to any other nation should have a direct and positive benefit to our country. That's the way it should be.

That's how all my relationships work. These long-standing alliances with people from 200 years ago where we'll agree to still get involved in a war on their behalf. It's not good. It's what keeps peace. Or it's what creates global wars for example

one world war ii the chain of alliances that led one thing which could have been a regional conflict into becoming a global i think that's how world war ii went down that if that if we hadn't jumped in that war that if the other companies hadn't jumped in that war going back 100 years now but that's true but world world war one directly led to world war two. So in world war two, you think that if other countries hadn't gotten involved, the Germans would have been like, you know what?

This is enough countries. We're cool. We'll stop here. Wait, do you think Germany actually wanted to conquer the whole world? I don't think they were done yet. I don't know. It was those alliances that made Germany.

In part, you're right. The US and Russia getting together. Another reason why they're a bad idea, Woody. Touche. Yeah, you got me. It was going right here the whole time. Kyle grabbed it and took it out of the air.

That's funny. I thought you were speaking pro for this point. I thought you were saying that uh right for this point i thought you're saying misconception kyle and i have in this what kind of proud boy are you you don't you're right you're right you got me i'll have you know i haven't beaten off in a long time i'm the proudest of boys does that have anything to do with being a proud boy do they have some sort of anti-match there used to be a no masturbation rule and they backed it they lowered it to just once a month.

They couldn't even stick with their own no beating off rule? It's once a month now. Once a month, you can beat off. You gotta let the steam off sometimes. Good God. Unless you're with a woman and you get permission from her. Unless you're either with her or you get permission from her. Because they started it to get their buddy laid.

Yeah, they started it to get their buddy laid yeah they started to get their buddy laid and then they realized that he's like a masturbation addict so he doesn't have any like drive to to be with a woman or please a woman so they said that's it only only once a month or something only once whatever uh unless you get permission and these guys swear by it because they're all they're horny now and they want to like they want to go fuck chicks instead of just getting drunk and playing video games all right it's built all around that it's like their own religion no masturbating how do you become one how do i just stop masturbating there you go you're muted who is i am i was saying that i found an article i just linked from a couple years ago new proud

boy rules less fighting less wanking and it's like two guys looking very serious at the camera. That guy on the left. Do you think that we're going to beat off? Nice try. That guy on the left was on a Joe Rogan. He's the founder of Alex McInnes. Yeah. Yeah.

I've seen, I've seen a bunch of clips of him just saying some outlandish shit. It's like a whole montage of him talking about choking and punching people i saw something i saw from him he on his show on the show shoved a dildo up his own ass yeah he shoved a butt plug in his ass to own the libs i'm not sure how does that dovetail with not beating off i don't know it seems like maybe he was cheating in a way right what if he hadn't beat off enough and now he's just coming up with weird ways around it weird ways to get off like you know what i'm just doing a funny bit

prostate massage and spontaneous orgasm. I hardly touched it. This guy put a butt plug in on the air, on camera? On camera to own the lips. Not showing his asshole, but he was bending over in a way showing his front. I think he had a sport jacket and a tie on. Yeah, a sport jacket and a tie.

A guy who does it often enough that attire was no... He knew what he was doing yeah I don't know if it was a butt plug or if it was I think it was a dildo but you know who knows with how memes spread but I'm going to run with dildo because that's funnier I want to

find that clip dildo in Gavin it's not Alex McInnes hate group leaders using a dildo in Gavin. I'm just going to search Proud Boys. It's not Alex McInnes. Hate group leaders. Using a dildo on himself to, quote, own the liberals and prove he wasn't homophobic. Oh.

I actually like that. I'm showing a picture to everybody. That actually makes sense. All right. Well, mission accomplished. Oh, he looks like he's not enjoying it at all that's what he wants because he's because of the homophobia oh wow he just really dropped trowel there on the air oh goodness i like his jeans though

what is this? Just pictures. I can't believe you guys haven't seen that before. Oh, I have. Come on, Dick. Look at that look on his face. I love the facial hair. He looks like a fucking Mythbuster or something like that.

He doesn't look like he leads a hate group. He left the Proud Boys because it's hard to know what the scoop is but he started the cap proud boys and it changed into this sort of white nationalist hate group and he's like fuck it guys i'm out that's not what i was about it was always supposed to be funny and fun and i don't like what you are anymore so he's not a he's not associated with it i guess he left it really does that sound right uh no so uh james fields i think you know in charlottesville the proud boys were there and that that guy james fields was in his car the mob surrounded him and he he gunned he gunned it and killed one of them actually she had a heart attack i always like to make that clear oh really i didn't know that it's i mean something that you

see like all the time now that the right doesn't think she had a heart attack is this are we talking about charlottesville because i was multitasking yeah we're coming higher they're higher so then he gavin stepped down to get what he was the second corner on the scene and his report showed no heart attack i like this this woman gets smashed by a car car didn't hit her and the car hit her and the right her defense attorney is like nope uh it really wasn't about the car she had a spontaneous heart attack while the car hit her i believe she would have happened anyway because she was frightened of a car i believe that but anyway please tell you you might have had to get a job she was probably afraid of that

uh yeah so he quit to make the judge more lenient on them i think and their association with the proud boys or something that's the way i heard it oh he told it i don't know i don't think it worked story to joe rogan i think but uh who mckinney you're right yeah yeah i'm a little confidence on it so don't take your news from me on this but i know he's not a proud boy anymore what a weird name for a group it sounds like a joke group it it started that way you know what i mean proud boy um well scanning this thing i know it's not good content um oh milo yiannopoulos was in it too he also resigned from the group uh who what the fuck is that guy doing he needs to get in

the conservative side has many strengths but comedy is not one of them milo needs to get involved he is the funniest guy on the right that i can think of yeah when i want to laugh i turn on uh i turn on comedy central just laugh my tits off like my tits off ed at what is oliver and and all those guys i don't watch so so he's on it he's on uh isn't john oliver at all anymore john oliver's on hbo yeah yeah um you know without an audience all of them are a little worse for the health of comedy in the in the current cultural zeitgeist what they really need is a left-leaning political comedy commentator it's about time they added right i see what you're doing but obviously obviously this content resonates

with average people and isn't astro surf it's just great it's awesome jimmy fallon steven colbert of course bill maher john oliver the left is flooded with you know left-leaning comedians milo needs to fill that gap on the right yeah but where's nowhere's gonna platform them and i also don't think he's very right-wing or very funny. Oh, no. I think he has a great delivery. The pedophilia thing kind of rubbed a few people the wrong way. Rubbed him the right way.

Oh! He was a fan. You guys were talking about all this serious stuff, and I was like, oh, god damn, the Irish Supreme Court says that Subway bread doesn't qualify as bread. I know. Too much sugar. Too much sugar.

Is that all the bread or just the white bread, though? No, it's all the bread. All the bread. They're like, go fuck yourself. It's too high sugar. They have like nine grain wheat bread there. How does that have too much sugar? That has too much sugar, dude.

And I am telling you this as a fact. I have not clicked on the article yet. Dude, I read an article about that i don't know why it matters that it's not bread but it just like i think all restaurant food is super bad for you no matter where you go they just give you so much butter so much oil so much fat so much salt it's fantastic but like you can hardly order a healthy meal and get a healthy meal they make the food taste good that's how they do it what do you have you ever looked up where you'll be like damn i want to make mongolian beef but i want to make it the way pf chang's does and then you look

up the way they do it and it's like yeah it's like a Mongolian beef, but secret. Full stick of butter, three times the amount of oil. And it's like, oh, I didn't want to learn this. Put some sugar on it, too, and serve it. Yeah. And you just paste sugar on top of your fat meat and then go, oh, it's lean. Restaurant food is terrible for you and delicious. It's so good. That's why they,

that's why restaurants stay in business. They're not worried at all about your health. They just want you to come back and ignore the truth. So subway bread's not bread. Too much sugar. Yeah. Subway bread is not bread. According to Ireland.

That's true. I haven't trusted the Irish. Yeah. That's where I get all my bread news. Ireland. Yeah. I don't my bread news. From Ireland. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, what the fuck? Where do they get off? What do they know about bread?

They know a lot about bread, like that someone is suing because they didn't get the ingredients on their sandwich. Let me scan it. I don't think they want Subway to be able to call their sandwiches sandwiches anymore because technically the bread on them isn't bread. Oh. I got to call their sandwiches sandwiches anymore because technically the bread on them isn't bread. Oh.

I gotta call them stacks. Subway stacks of produce and meat and products. So I guess they're trying to categorize it as a staple food, which doesn't get taxed. But because it's more like junk food, you have to pay

10% tax. And probably some sort of welfare card doesn't work for it as well. The sugar content in Irish bread isn't supposed to be more than 2%. I don't know how it could be more than 2% sugar. And it's 10%. Well, they're not even close. They're not even close. That's five times the maximum amount of sugar

and in fairness to Ireland Subway's bread is fucking terrible it is awful I don't care when they do the song and dance about like wow we're pulling this out of the just baked oven it's like go fuck yourself you have a neck tattoo like there's no way you

baked that fresh it smells good there's no way you baked that fresh it smells good there's no way you showed up early like an artisan baker and made this nine grain wheat what franchise would you want to own subways often considered a good one i would say subway because people go to subway to no subways are literally on the decline they're closing more and more stores every day well Well, I mean, that makes sense because they have more locations than Starbucks. And there's not as much markup. I think Five Guys are always growing. I think

that place that you and I always talk about, Cookout, their franchises are rather cheap, and whenever they add one to a place, it just explodes, and they've got these lines literally around the block with attendants in the parking lot directing traffic. It depends what you're looking for.

If you're looking for a plug and play franchise to make money and be off doing your own thing, subway would be excellent. If you're looking for a, I am going to be on the site most of the time making sure this runs well somewhere like cookout or, you know, we have barbecue places like that here too. I feel like cookout takes more personal attention than subway because there's a higher standard of quality.

Like when people go to subway, there's enough Jim Gaffigan bits to know that there's not a lot going on at subway. I'm just saying that everywhere you go, that's fast food and successful hasn't established standard of quality. When you go to McDonald's, you know exactly the flavor of beef you're going to get and you get that flavor every time.

And a lot of what building a successful fast food franchise is, is having supreme consistency. You don't want one location to be terrible, one location to be awesome. Subway has every location bad. Waffle House 2. Waffle House 2.

And so you go in there and you pay a few dollars for a sandwich the size of your head and when you're eating it and you go in there and you pay a few dollars for a sandwich the size of your head. And when you're eating it and you go, this isn't very good, you go, no shit. I paid $5 for a sandwich the size of my torso. You really don't like Waffle House? I do like Waffle House. I just feel like the standard is low.

It meets my expectations every time. I'll order steak and eggs. This is the worst steak ever just like i expected yeah i've never enjoyed well if you're ordering steak at waffle at waffle house they are by the way they just by the way so they sell more t-bones than any other restaurant in the world as is noted on that picture that every one of them has on the wall they're awful the eggs there are actually really good though i like their eggs as much as i like probably put sugar in them i you can see what they're doing to them right

there because elon is over there fucking mixing it up six feet away from you splattering you with oil there's a ton of oil in there and uh and then there's just fucking eggs and i've read somewhere that the uh the cooks at waffle house have better violence de-escalation skills than the police. I was like, maybe. Steak and Shake, too. Steak and Shake is pretty fucking good. They got so many fucking milkshakes at that place. Yeah, we've got them in Atlanta.

They're very popular. But yeah, Waffle House is... Maybe Waffle House would be the way to go because they're open 24 hours a day. You can just staff them with ex-convicts. You can do that with McDonald's too and you don't have to be scared. Who's got... No, there's a lot of moving parts in a McDonald's.

There's a lot of menu items. There's a lot of stuff going on back there. A lot of computers and shit. Waffle House is just that one grill and that waffle maker. That's it. And you think you would run shit. Waffle House is just that one grill and that waffle maker. That's it. And you think you would run a successful Waffle House? I don't think there's an unsuccessful Waffle House

in the fucking world. As long as you love it, it's a success. Sounds right. That's absurd. Shut up, dude. We're making money here. I want to do, I want to get into, you guys are obsessed with money. I want to get into you know you guys are obsessed with your money

i want to get into chick-fil-a and bad one very very homophobic all the time to get people as long as you love it then you'll be okay but yeah chick-fil-a sucks to own um what was i gonna say i oh you know what sucks to own that i was into i used to want to own a movie theater like that was the dream a good movie theater you know with the nice chairs and like a restaurant movie theater i would be totally broke right now if i if i dumped everything into a movie theater that was the worst idea i think i remember that it's the first one hour photo stand you talked about this like like maybe four or five years ago or something i think and i remember i was probably like yeah yeah yeah get after it you're selling that popcorn it's such a markup you

you can't lose money you can't lose yeah i had this i like um I really like the movie theaters that are from 10 years ago where everyone's jammed into shitty seats that don't recline. But there's a movie theater I go to where it's a big leather, like Lazy Boy with electric recline and stuff. And I was like, oh, you could do that. Or even Next Level where the food gets good. Is it Alamo that does that? Alamo Draft House?

Yeah, I think you're right and uh i started looking into what it costs to make one and such and just decided not to i don't know i want to put all my eggs in one basket because it's pretty expensive right oh my gosh i'd be so broke but do you like those theaters where it's like a full meal comes out because we have some here that I've been to and it's so annoying for me to try to eat in the dark like cutting chicken and it really takes me out of the movie. You're ordering like actual food. See, there's your mistake.

I've gone to those places. Just order hand food. Yeah. If you're cutting chicken in the middle of a movie, that's absurd and you're a dick for doing it. You're scratching the plate guaranteed i haven't been to one as nice as an alamo what we have is a half is in between so you can get like chicken fingers like taylor's talking about maybe even a burger or a hot dog you can't get something that involves a fork and a knife there and but they do

have seats that i haven't been alamo but i have to imagine these seats compare well because they're big leather wide you take the middle up you can cuddle your wife while you watch the movie i ordered popcorn shrimp at one of those places at an amc once and i swear to god in the kitchen they were like we ran out of shrimp and they're like just deep fry balls of everything we coat the shrimp in. And they just served me that because there was not a bit of shrimp. And then you got hush puppies with tails. I got old tails cemented in. There's no meat.

It's just this is like a year ago. But I went to Panda Express and I had never had coconut shrimp before. And it was like coconut shrimp. You can can have it but it's an extra dollar and i'm like oh it must be good it's seafood candy i'm convincing myself this is a reasonable dinner to just eat like shrimp coated with glazed sugar coconut shrimp is the bomb same thing when i go to panda express every time i'm like i'll get the beef with broccoli and then my voice comes out double serving orange chicken and then i mean i'm like no it's like at least it's definitely got vitamin c right there were no oranges killed in the making of that chicken. The fact that I have to shit right just right now.

There were no oranges in there. Dude. I do like, as far as fast food is concerned, I rank Panda Express decently high. Their fried rice is so greasy and so oily that I like it. You know.

You think it's disgusting? It's awful. It's so far at the bottom of my list. It's way below Arby's and Hardee's. It's below Arby's, you fucking idiot. Arby's? I don't feel that strongly

about any fast food restaurant. Arby's is gum of the earth. How dare you put it below Arby's? Arby's, lots of people talking about Arby's. It's for retards in the industry. You're talking about roast beef, you piece of shit. Oh, I like Arby's.

I'm a fucking retard. Arby's is terrible. They literally all of their meat, put it in a bag and then they slice it as though it's real the first time. It's true. It's terrible. The meat comes in a bag.

It's in a big congealed goopy glass. Really? Yeah. It's not real. They have the slider machine like they're slicing it, but they're slicing emulsified meat logs. It's like a hot dog. They make a gigantic hot dog, and then they cut it into roast beef slices. And that's better than Panda Express.

Yes. This isn't about how good Arby's is, Taylor. This is about how bad Panda Express is. You need to have the coconut shrimp at Panda Express. It's pretty much soft-serve shrimp or something. It's great. I haven't had Chinese food in a long time.

I haven't had this in a year and a half but i'm hungering for it right now yeah another good for one mcdonald's binge a month like we'll go get drunk and then i do like an uber drive-through where it's everything on the menu like two filet of fish a double quarter pound or two big macs uh probably six fries i mean just fill up a bag and you know it off. Tell me how many there were. Just go bananas. McDonald's always disappoints me. I'd stop going. It's not like I hate McDonald's. I just keep having a bad

McDonald's experience where it's cold or not fully done or it's falling apart. I keep getting misses. When I go to McDonald and like you get the cheese that's not even vaguely melted cold which is common cold cheese cold french fries one of the places that i know is going to let me down every time and that i still crave usually once a year once my memory has lapsed enough that i forget is white castle is once a year, I will eat 35 White Castle burgers

and at the time be like, this is so great. This is awesome. It tastes like shit. It's good, though, in a way. I'm eating all this cabbage. And then the next day, you shit. And the next day, that's very generous. 40 minutes later, you shit. And it smells

exactly like you're right back inside White Castle. We're going to get some fiber and some probiotics in your diet, Taylor. Every time we talk about food, you're like, and then you just immediately have diarrhea. You guys never had an apple and a banana? Oh!

Just like blows right through your head. I'm talking about healthy stuff and these kale shakes, motherfucker. Taylor, that's not what cheese does to you yeah you go out tonight and you eat 10 white castle burgers and then what's your numbers you stop eating them and when you start getting taylor once told me that uh he has a you know weakness for cheese sticks right this is like the string cheese and he has seven and i mentioned it to my wife and she's still like seven how can you have seven seven's a lot of cheese seven and i know it was that because like my girlfriend goes to bed earlier than me she has to be up earlier and so like i'll go and enjoy my evening sitting in my

living room and all my snacks as i eat them throughout the night the wrappers will accumulate on there was and i know it was seven because she came home one day after work and was like hey did you have seven cheese sticks last night and i was like no it couldn't have been that many and she's like well i found seven wrappers and i bought a pack of 12 and there's five left and i was like like, well, must have been a mistake. How do you know it was me? You have no evidence of anything. This is all circumstantial.

I can't be convicted. I didn't do them. I actually like White Castle. In the South, we have Crystal. It's a lot more common. It's the exact same shit. But it's pretty good a lot more uh common uh it's it's it's exact same shit but uh but it's pretty good i like it yeah i made i made uh homemade crystal burgers one time you um you take the ground beef and like flatten it on a griddle and uh you punch like uh you know you cut it you pre

cut it into the squares like score the ground beef and you press it till it's like super thin like an eighth of an inch and then you put like five dots on each patty and you freeze it and you've got like this frozen sheet of ground beef that you then lay on top of uh onions on a uh like a big griddle and you it's actually onion flavored cabbage it's uh well i use onions and you look you cook you cook that block of beef on top of the onions and the onion steam like goes through the holes that you pre put into the meat. It's really fucking good. You know, that's why Crystal and White Castle give you such bad and immediate gas is because they found out a few decades ago that if you replace onions with onion flavored cabbage, you save an enormous amount of money. You can't tell the difference. And people really can't tell. It's onion flavored cabbage, you save an enormous amount of money and people can't tell the difference.

It's onion flavored cabbage on White Castle burgers. That's why you eat that and immediately you're just like, this is dire. I don't think I've ever had White Castle. These tiny little burgers. They're literally this big. The grease stains

on either side of the burger combine to about three times the total girth of the burger itself. Yeah, I'm aware of how their burgers are small for some reason, but I have never been inside of White Castle. It's a depressing place. You know what's overrated?

In-N-Out. I don't know why the West Coast guys think In-N-Out. Don't you dare say that. Everyone on the West Coast thinks In- in and out is some wonderful dining experience and it's just shitty food you oh you want to fit you root you ignorant slut what do you you don't like you don't like your fries sloppy and wet oh you have to you have to get them extra well done there's a whole process you've got to learn it that That's part of it. And then you douse them. Douse them in what? What are you dousing them?

I don't know. Whatever that cheese sauce is that they pour over everything. Oh, yeah, man. You've got to get animal style everything. You've got to get extra crispy. It's like you can trace your whole life through what you learned ordering it in and out. I was here when I learned about animal style. I was here when I learned that you could just stack an infinite number of patties next to

each other. It's where they just pour sauce all over everything. Yeah. Um, protein style. What, what is it? When there's no buns,

don't you dare? Everything's fresh at in and out. The line is a mile long. I've been eating that rotten meat they have over at mickey d's but they've got the fresh stuff you guys are eating out of a bag it's disgusting you're eating roast beef and coconut shrimp out of a ladle i think we have the same mic but i like your shock mount much more what is it um that's a road something i don't know it's a hundred bucks the mic or the shock mount oh the shock mount yeah oh this thing yeah uh i don't know man

i just picked that up off amazon you don't like that yours looks like a claw machine right i just feel like it's cool it blocks more of me than it needs to like more of the whole scene. It's a freaking dominant piece of what you see. Yeah. Good luck. No, I've had In-N-Out twice.

And I wasn't blown away or anything. It was okay. You gotta have it 20 times. That's when it really kicks in. I don't think anything beats Five Guys. Animals. No one leaves Five Guys hungry. No.

Those french fries are so fucking good. And they're like just a regular cheeseburger is more than enough food for a human being. But for some reason they do double cheeseburgers as well. I avoid Five Guys because I think it's way more calories

than other meals oh it's so bad for you the calories like a large fry is like 1400 calories you don't need a large you can hardly finish a small no one needs a large nobody needs a large at five guys if you're watching this and you've never been to Five Guys, that's amazing in itself. All right, both of you, listen up. A small fry there is enough fries. You could empty out a human skull and fill it with French fries. This is how Fahrenheit was invented, I think. You just randomly... Human skulls of fries?

Yeah, we use feet. I mean, fuck, why not skulls? So yeah, that's about right you could fill a human skull with a small fry at five guys it's all you need to eat the large fry is literally let's eat like a 20 ounce cup and fill it heaping full of french fries and then they just pour more over they put the the 20 ounce cup over the bag and then just heap them on it as it's over fills into the bag. The bottom of the bag has like a McDonald's small fry of fries in it. At least five guys.

Yes. Yeah. The worst fries in America. And they think they can hide it from you. If they give you a lot of them, are you getting the curly fries? No, I'm getting the regular fries when I go there.

We're up in the Cajun fries. I'm just saying the regular fries. I've there. Get the Cajun fries. I'm just saying the regular fries, I've never opted into a special kind of fries there. They have sweet potato fries. They are soggy immediately. They are wet and floppy and not good fries. I like wet floppy fries. Wow, look at all this shit I have.

Now I won't talk about how bad they are. The curly fries, I think maybe the nature of them they get cooked longer not sure but um i share your dislike of wet sloppy fries they need to be i prefer wet sloppy fries i like them overcooked yeah definitely i prefer a nice crispy fry no curly fries are always better that's the best thing that jack in the box has over the rest or the curly fry arby's also has the curly fry which i like, but I like them when they're a little bit on the soft side. They cook them in peanut oil. They're not trying to cheap out on you.

That's just their idea of a good fry. No, that's for their meat. No, they don't cook their meat. They're not frying the meat. You're talking about Chick-fil-A. I thought he was saying Arby's was spending all their money cooking good curly fries and being like, no, keep that beef budget.

I'm still on Five Guys fries. They use the peanut oil there. Doesn't Chick-fil-A use it on their fries? Chick-fil-A also uses peanut oil. Yes. You know what? Actually, they use this denatured peanut oil that's actually safe for people who have peanut allergies. I don't care for that. I want the risky

stuff. I want to know that only the genetically pure among us can consume these fries. Are the genetically impure allergic to peanuts? Those with inferior genes may not enjoy the fry. That's the

Proud Boy way. Only peanut oil. We are not so much concerned with race as much as what you cook the fry in than eating the fry. So white supremacists, once again, you're bringing up some...

This is a club about French fries? How they are cooked? Once again, you ask me of President Trump, I am a French fry connoisseur i'm a sommelier you know who's really hoping trump loses alania trump she wants i don't think she likes being first lady i don't think she likes being lady trump i don't think she likes being first lady, second lady, any of that shit. She doesn't want to be there.

All the fake smiles. She's just done. She is over that shit. Honestly, though, she's a model. Fake smiles, that's her jam. She should be pretty good at it. For a couple of decades.

I think that real smiles, models actually smile too. Prove it. Touche too. Yeah, prove it. Touche. You can't prove that. Yeah, no. She comes off as unhappy. I don't know. It could just be like an Eastern European culture thing, right? Americans smile when, I don't know,

when they see strangers. Whereas Europeans, sometimes you have to earn that smile. Yeah. We're hard for a European smile. I surly most of the time so i'm i feel you but she's also been rich as fuck for so long i feel like most of that and she gets shit on constantly oh look trump's not yeah the stuff that they like the way the way the media criticize or at least social media criticize their relationship is really creepy to me. Like when they'll almost hold they'll be acting like a normal couple. And then it's like, oh, look at her disgust at him.

Like Trump will look at her. She'll give him a little like normal smile and look away. She's like, oh, look at her. She just she's thinking about his cock and she wants to puke. Look at her. Look at her disdain for him. Like, are you guys like what? What level of insanity is this where you're reading into a of what seems like a totally normal relationship? I did see one thing recently where it was like just her walking off a plane. one thing recently where it was like just her walking off a plane and it was like some some journo internet journo was like melania trump tone deftly wears thousand dollar boots while

exiting in the midst of pro and it's like yeah let her wear her boots jesus you think she's like i'm with you sir they did the same thing to Michelle. They criticized her body and her outfit. With Melania, it's just her outfit usually. I think it's a little worse for Melania. At least time magazine and shit would be like...

Look at how fierce Michelle is looking. I would say Michelle has it worse. Case in point. They do say Michelle has a dick. Well, I mean, mainstream media doesn't that's more internet meaning yeah I don't know it would be would it be worse to be married to Trump

if he lost for the rest of your life or could you just stick it out another four years and get it out of his system it would be crazy to say that Trump's life is very short I see him as a very fat dude who's 72 years old in my own little universe like my experience of this is guys like that just click off right they don't have a long slow decline in six months they just they have like cardiac problems and then they just turn off or just one fucking day yeah just covet

covet can wipe out trump both presidential candidates actually you know it's a good heart attack i guess but um i just see trump because he's fat and old as a guy who's gonna just click off in the next two or three years am i crazy like other people say that's not right that's the actuarial data on that like have you looked up what the... I mean, he's fat. Is he morbidly obese or just obese? I called him morbidly obese to my friend, and then we started looking at pictures,

and I backed off that. I think he's in the obese category. Morbidly obese, he's got to be quite a bit higher to creep in, I think, as far as BMI. But he's definitely... It's so dumb because you don't know his height because he lies about his height, and he lies about his weight.

Yeah, but you can estimate, looking at him standing next to people. How tall do you think he is, Woody? 6'1 or 2? 6'1? If he claims 6'3, I would guess 6'2. I'm 6' tall, and when he signed my hat, I was looking up at him. Was he wearing heels? He's taller than me.

Yeah, he was on stilts, actually. He was wearing heels in a codpiece. He wears boots with a one or two inch two inch, probably too far, but like one or one and a half inch heels. No, I backed off of that. Like one

or better. So he's 6'1". So Michelle Obama does not have a dick, but Donald Trump is wearing lifts, two inch lifts, and he's actually 6'1". So Michelle Obama does not have a dick, but Donald Trump is wearing lifts, two-inch lifts, and he's actually 6'1". Do you need pictures? No, I just need like a ruler, a yardstick or something. Y'all talking about Michelle Obama being a man? Mm-hmm. Sort of.

Dude, you know what's funny is I just googled this again and it got updated correctly you know gerald nadler the congressman or whatever like that tiny little guy who always looks just like a goblin walking next to everyone else do you know who that is gerald nadler i'm googling now he's the uh politician yeah the u.s representative representative for New York's 10th congressional district. He looked so short during the like, it was some news thing that he was in

that I was like, how the fuck tall is that guy? And this was only like six, eight months ago. I looked it up on Google. I could not find it. The only thing that was available

when you typed in Gerald Nadler height was a self-report from his website saying 5'11", which would mean that we have the tallest Congress in the history of the planet. Just now, I searched again, and it has been updated on Google to 5'3".

Literally, the only source for his height when I searched it eight months ago was saying he was 5'11". These are Trump's Wicked Witch of the West shoes that he's got on. He's got weird wide feet at the end. What's with that bulge? On his left side standing there? I never noticed

that on any of his other shoes. I think Woody's pointing out that he's got a bit of a lift there. The heel is the thing that I'm focused on. The heel is kind of normal. I've got boots like that. What the fuck was he kicking? What was he kicking?

Who was he kicking? I think it's just the lighting. I think he likes shoes. My dress shoes, that's twice the heel that mine has. The question is, who ties those for him? That's way too tight to be tied. They are so goddamn tight.

I don't remember who came up with this phrase, but it makes me laugh every time. It looks like his shoes were screwed on. Guys, Woody, you're going about this the wrong way. We should not be heel-shaming men. We should all normalize men wearing lifts so we finally get one over on these bitches out there that are hitting us with height restrictions

on dating sites all of us should encourage each other to wear gigantic lifts on our heels come on guys and I'll just one up you and add Spanx to the list yes don't you shame me Kyle I see you already starting we're fat old men

lifts aren't enough because lifts you hide those we need to have loud and proud heels that's right yeah pumps are you not idiot bitch i want manly heels with goldfish swimming in them. Yeah, and we should be able to sit and we pee. It used to be a pimp thing from the 70s. It was probably TV pimp, but yeah. Braves won their second game today.

Kyle, before we jump to the Braves, we're going to hear from Smart Mouth. Everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath. You know, I'm actually going to wing it. Let's see. Smart Mouth is an awesome mouthwash. It's got two different parts. You pour it into the cup.

It mixes. You use it. It's going to get rid of your bad breath for 24 hours. It's fantastic. It's also going to keep your gums healthy. You can use the dry mouth kind if you engage in behaviors that are traditionally associated with struggling with dry mouth. Lots of possibilities there. I also recall that smartmouth.com slash pka is a URL we are supposed to promote.

I believe that is for a coupon. $2 coupon, $1 coupon. Check that out. You'll know. A dollar coupon. Check that out. You'll know. It's great. Great mouthwash. Keep your mouth healthy. Get laid.

Have fun with it. So smartmouth.com slash pka. Even better than the read, I think. I like it. Check them out. Check them out.

Get some good breath. Get laid. Get your dick wet. Check them out. Get some good breath. Get laid. Get your dick wet. Make a Sprouty. Nailed it. Did you send these guys our copy? Yeah, get your dick wet. We focus tested that one, you remember.

I think it was refreshing like, no, no, get your dick wet. That was it. Cool, man. Cool. So we'll have them ship you some products so you can get your dick wet too. Is the mountain going to fight that other World's Strongest Man dude, Eddie Hall? They're going to talk about it a lot for a long time. They're not going to wait.

They're not going to fight. That's not going to happen. There is no way a mountain and Eddie Hall fight. Let me see. How big is Eddie Hall? Eddie Hall is six foot three and enormous, but it's only next to the mountain that he looks like a small guy. But Eddie Hall is an enormous guy and both of them have the power to do just unspeakable damage

like can you imagine las vegas they're fighting in las vegas next year the battle uh between september 2021 i wonder if wow i i see i need to fix our layout but I see there here's a picture of them holding each other it's hard to get them really next to each other to see how big yeah the mountains are bending over a little bit

the mountains like 6 foot 11 almost 7 feet tall right that sounds right-ish I know he's ginormous would look like children in this photo jesus he's a big guy i saw eddie hall next to someone else i forget who it was but i always you know sometimes guys with a lot of muscles are actually short right you know if you were to take them and stretch them to six one or so they wouldn't be so big anymore you could picture this like fire hydrant of a man yeah so having never seen eddie

hall with much to compare him to sidewise like i don't know how big an atlas stone is i i thought he was that guy he was like five eight and just really wide like a fire hydrant and i saw him next to someone and was like oh my god he's huge he's big but the mountain of course is even bigger but uh i don't know fighting is an athletic endeavor there's more to it than that if you take away the grappling uh israel out of sonya i think beats both of them you don't think so absolutely not interesting i do i think that i mean that you have the object israel adesanya way 170 well he'd be like i mean this well i wouldn't yeah well no no he wouldn't he walks around 175 if he doesn't cut 185 right am i wrong yeah i'm not wrong he fights at 185 i think he would get around at that weight he would get

absolutely smashed by the mountain there's no way for him to compete with the mountain he's just too big of a person you just smother him right like so i intentionally took away grappling because i feel like enough muscles can overcome the skill difference. And every sport, even boxing has grappling. Can you imagine if Israel Adesanya gets the mountain in an arm bar, you know what the mountain's going to do. He's going to curl his entire body weight over his body.

I agree with that. Relative and smash him into the other side. So it's on my mind. Joe Lozon said that he couldn't beat Shaq, right? Joe Lozon's a great fighter. He says Shaq is just too much man that he would lose. But if you make it just striking, you know, I see a guy so much faster, very hard to hit Israel. I think it, and by the way, he hits hard.

I assume both these guys are super durable. But am I crazy? Dick, you know boxing. Can a top boxer, a 200-pound guy, beat the mountain? I don't see how. You're just going to get shoved around. Just the physical exertion of having to keep a man that size off of you, I think, is going to exhaust like even a marathon guy. You know what I mean?

He's a counter puncher, right? He's going backwards, tagging him, tagging him, tagging him, never getting hit, always doing the hitting. How long are the mountain arms, though? Longer than him. Just the force alone, I think, is going to exhaust anybody. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, Conor McGregor clearly beat him. You know they sparred.

That's what you're making a reference to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that Dana White offered Conor and Poirier a fight. But I didn't see the money. No, nobody saw the money except for Conor and Poirier, I'm sure. See, that's the – you you know already but for the audience that's the rub right dana will say i'll give you both whatever one million dollars you can go fight and connor's like one million why would i fight for like seven percent of my normal pay yeah connor connor offered poirier like a charity fight in dublin where they would each

fight for each other's charities so um then dana comes back and counter offers like hey why don't you just fight in the ufc i'll pay you x x y and z we'll see um i'd like to see connor do anything really uh i'd watch him fight some old men in a bar again that was fun i haven't seen anyone say this that's funny but uh but i still think it to be true i think the reason connor hasn't been getting fights is to pay him connor money he needs a gate and that's the scoop that he needs in person he needs an event they need you know the the ufc gets paid to put the event there they get paid for the tickets that come in here they make a lot of money from these live events and they're thinking to

themselves, I can't pay Connor. I'll make it up 12 and a half million dollars to fight. If it's just TV. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Um,

I know Connor has wanted some fights. I know he wanted, um, um, somebody back in the spring and, and they couldn't make it happen. Diego. No. Well, he said that

this is before that. He said that he mentioned Diego because they couldn't get him a fight before and he's just looking for a filler fight because he wanted a fight this year. He's like, let me fight somebody. You can't even find Thor's arm length because all it brings up are the measurements around his arm.

Yeah. Dude, but this guy but take it it's usually like like your wingspan your height are usually rather similar if you can i mean this guy's a bitch you can only deadlift a thousand pounds oh really pathetic like that just means that like think of how easy it'll be to knock him over he doesn't have like the strongest posterior chain on earth. So you saw the Eddie Hall deadlift, right? And like the nose bleed. I don't know.

I'm making shit up. What is it called when your blood bustle bursts? An aneurysm? You know, like. Not that. God. Yeah. He was like, you know, I was dizzy for five days.

My blood brain exploded and yada, yada, yada. Was he playing that up is that true or did it was he really just the absolute peak of exertion to break the i would believe that exerting yourself to that extent would cause some problems like the human body is not meant to deadlift a thousand plus pounds it's just not seen have you ever seen the king of the hill where um the macho man Randy Savage is in it and he's training Bill? Yeah. I know I've gotten a good workout when the blood vessels in the back

of my eyes pop. That's when Bill gets all jacked and he starts going over and fucking with Hank. That's my favorite line of all time. He's like, no agony, no bragging. That show is so fucking good.

I need to fucking rewatch King of the Hill again. You just watched it like last year. I know. I'm joking. I'm joking. Kyle, you'll like this. I started Supernatural. Well, I'll see you in five or six years. Dude, why didn't you kick off the boys?

That's because I was sitting there with my girlfriend the other night, and she was like, have you ever watched this show Supernatural? And I was like, no, I've never seen an episode, but Kyle's recommended it and Woody very highly. She's like, let's watch it. Let's watch it. And I was, it's pretty good. I like it.

Watch it through this lens. Let's start at the beginning. Let's start at the very, very beginning. Season one, episode one, where Negan gets his wife burned, and then there's the big gap of what happened in their life where apparently they're super soldiers now with katana skills. And then who is it, Dean or Sam? It's Dean who shows back up to Sam, who's in a happy relationship,

and drags him back into the mix. And they fight the woman in white, the first one, and then subsequent monsters and the other ones. I like it. I'm enjoying the show. It was Kyle who pointed out to me their very bad special effects budget. And it's funny because they go from town to town battling demons and monsters and this and that.

So they'll be like, ooh oh we're in springfield illinois and there's a dragon here the dragon is a person with glowing fingertips just like dragon off camera like they just pipe in some audio of wings flapping and he arrives yeah the wings are put away the wings get put away under a trench coat. Yeah, it gets better over time because it did become a very popular show. Their salaries are outrageous. Like how much the two main actors make. Let me look it up again.

I don't want to be wrong. Does Negan come back into the mix ever as he dies? Lots. Lots. He's in and out a lot. Which one's Negan? Jeffrey Dean Morgan, their father. Oh. Who plays negan in the walking dead gotcha yeah i didn't know his name was but i'm not judging someone for forgetting a person's name i've even defended myself i should have known

um yeah so they get paid um uh like 125 000 each per episode hell yeah good for them just fucking raking it in and it's like 20 episodes a year so that's good they make 20 episodes a fucking year and they have been doing it since i was a small child like in the first episode like it's so old that it's like oh well you gotta call dad don't you have him on your car phone it's like jesus fucking christ these people technology has yeah like at this point they're like like one of the things they always do is like uh sam is really good at like getting on the internet and and hacking into things and finding backstory and looking up court records and documents. Watching internet use, like savvy internet use on TV shows

from the early 2000s, late 90s is like, oh no, we got Sam here. Dean, he's on the case. And he'll sit down and like pensively type something into AltaVista. And it's like, what are you doing? This isn't hacking you just you just did the precursor to google yeah it's uh it's a good show i i mean buckle up because i mean they they have they avert like eight apocalypses they fight everything from werewolves and i know other dimensions they go to hell dude many times bad things happen to them

like a lot of his main characters have this plot armor right no no things go they they live a rough life taylor and uh raped a lot raped a lot he gets sissy hypnotized and He gets sissy hypnotized by the devil himself. Oh, no. He gets butt fucked for like, there's time dilation. So like five minutes on earth. That's the only kind of dilation going on. So like five minutes on earth is like, you know, five years in hell.

Well, he's in hell for the entire off season, like from fall to spring. So like when they bring him back, he's just a shattered man. He's just how many years do I have to wait for this? Oh, that's like 11. It's like 11 years of something like that. 20 Taylor. I swear there's so much awful shit. And then their characters get upgraded too.

They're like, well, we're going to have to etch our bones with satanic chants or whatever they etch their bones with. Yep. You know something else I've noticed with the special effects that now that Kyle's pointed out, I've crystallized, is they'll be like, we got this F-55 flamethrower specially designed to take down the type of werewolf we're up against. And they'll be like, I don't think it's a werewolf. I think it's a golem. And they're like, well, then this is of no value. And it's like, oh!

He needs the big flamethrower used, and then, oh no, we're going to have to wizard him to death. Oh, it turns out we need salt. We need a little bit of Morton's. It's a big bag of salt you're gonna see like just tons of salt poured in circles over the next 20 years i'm excited for the journey you're about to embark on when they walk into their dad's

insane person hotel room for the first time and Instead of walking around with tears in their eyes being like, our father's no longer the man we thought he was. What on earth is he doing with his life? They're like, he's picked up a lot of valuable clues about the demon. It's got one of those walls covered in photos.

It was a woman in white earlier on. He saw the same news clipping we did. He's got one of those crazy people walls with like like like all the articles and pictures of things connected with string and instead of being like oh he hasn't been taking his medicine there's like he's on the sub dude and i i swear i swear to fucking god they were doing a slow pan across his wall of insanity with all the things he suspected where suspected would be like ghouls goblins ethereal premonitions and then one of them was just like ghosts with a question

it might just be ghosts they're gonna run into everything and and their knowledge of how to solve different problems is like outrageous like all we're going to need the dagger artifact of Theseus and a chair and a lot of salt and a silver bullet. The way the dagger of Theseus was hid for so many years is that it appears to be the lowest costing knife at Walmart. But in reality, it is not. Now you'll notice it says Pyrex here that's the name of an ancient demon so you get a tupperware company they get more budget as it goes on like like um i would

say like somewhere around season 12 or 13 it seems like they got i don't know they got more money and then they were able to do more cool shit. But they have gone to heaven probably five times and they've gone to hell probably five or six times as well. And like, like, like, oh yeah. Okay. But, but by seeing it, I mean, they like meander around like dungeon hallways. I feel like I went to heaven and it was just a place on earth there was some white backgrounds that reference i get there was like a there was like a throne room

you know some hallways uh you know they went into some of the rooms where people because because the way that heaven works is everyone has their own personal heaven. Cause, cause like Mormons, like Mormons. Exactly. And which would make sense if you were, you know, because like heaven isn't the same for everyone, right?

Like some people might hate everything being gold and clouds and floating and angels and shit. Like for some people, heaven is fucking living in a Popeye's chicken restaurant for the rest of their lives. Quit picking on Daniel. I feel like. Quit picking on Daniel Cormier. I feel like hating other people's heavens would figure the hell. So everybody has their own little personal heaven.

So that was a good way to be like, oh yeah, we're in heaven. Isn't this just mom's house? Yeah, I miss it. All right. But yeah, it's a good show. I like the two actors. The best thing you can imagine for heaven. He didn go skiing he didn't dude the two actors you mentioned that i seem to be the only one that

thinks this aren't they distractingly good looking of course that's the whole point they have a massive female fan base they are i i'm just like the fuck and and taylor 15 years from now that they might get better like they might get better looking as the show goes like, the fuck? And Taylor, 15 years from now, they might get better. They might get better looking as the show goes. What the fuck is with these guys? I don't know about Dean, but I know looking at Sam, he's one of those guys who's so good looking, makes me upset. I think Dean's better looking than Sam.

I go back and forth. He was on Days of Our Lives for a long time. That's what he was doing before this. He's literally one of those soap opera hunks or whatever. And yeah, they're both distractingly good looking. And I've said this on the show before, but it's really funny. Especially in the early seasons, they only help hot women with ghost problems. hot women with ghost problems. Somewhere out there,

there's an ugly black guy who's got ghouls and goblins and spooks all up in his attic. And they're just looking at that article like, nah. There's an underwear model in Des Moines, though, and she's got a real case of the vampire. What's that on over there? And they fuck the

underwear model, kill the ghost, and then slide on out of town before the sun can fucking rise. Dude, this show is about to get better. This show kicks ass. By the way, take note of this since you are watching now. Every woman that Sam ever shows an interest in will die. I figured that after the first woman he showed interest in died. Because it seems like him showing interest in a woman is kind of antithetical to the show continuing.

He's got to stay on the mission, right? Well, I mean, he'll fall in love with women who are on board with what he does. They'll be like witches or fucking... They'll be a vampire or they'll be a fellow demon slayer or whatever the fuck like you easily could have slid her right into the cast and she could have sat in the back seat nope no dice idiot you don't get to be part of the ghost killing

team she'll fucking be dead um last season of every episode the last show of every season they play wayward son and it's so good it's like a little clip show they put together uh this is good now as it was 20 years ago dude it's really good you're gonna love it i swear they have this big montage at the beginning of every season it's like last time but at this point 20 years into a show when

they say last time it's like all right buckle up boys yeah we've been we've been topping ourselves yeah because that's like at first you're like oh a demon her eyes are black go 20 years into the same show and i mean you've you've battled whoever is in charge of the devil it could be yeah exactly you've battled the devil there's a guy higher than him right the devil this isn't lord of the rings there's not a more goth for sauron to be taken orders from they've beaten the devil and then they've beaten the guy who replaced the devil and they've beaten the guy who replaced the guy replaced the devil and then they've beaten the guy who replaced the devil and they've beaten the guy who replaced the guy who replaced the devil and then they became friends with the guy who replaced that guy and he pals around with him after a while dude that sounds pretty dumb but no it's great

it's great it's great i want a lot more now they literally make friends with the king of hell don't don't do what you're doing just think of the time that you could be reading the Bible instead of watching this show. 20 seasons times 20 hours a season. You have 400 hours, Taylor. This is a part-time job. We want you to be done. Learn how to play a harmonica. Do anything else with what you're doing.

Watch Star Trek The Next Generation. Just watch the last episode. That's my challenge to you. Watch the last episode and forget the rest. In the time it would take me to watch this entire series i could stream enough fall guys to get another win i got another win today i might get a win i got discouraged the other day i was hearing did you play fall guys on stream and get a win dick no i wasn't streaming but i got a win it was probably the best moment of my life. You got a win.

And how many hundreds of games did you play before you got the win? Oh, God. I don't know. 300. It's not the number of games that you play. It's the number of times you came in second. That's what you remember. Yeah.

And I was ready. If I had, like, a handful more second places, I probably would have killed myself. I'm like, Colin, how do you win? How did you get first and he's like oh you just want to be in front of everyone else so they can't touch you oh yeah but how do you do thanks like how are you so good uh just be seven foot one and then the rest kind of fills in like it's like okay well fuck i have you kyle going to ask, have you seen a movie called The Last Castle?

With James Gandolfini and Robert Redford, and they're in a prison? Yes, yes. James Gandolfini is the warden of the prison. Robert Redford is a disgraced army colonel or something, general maybe even. And he gets sent to the prison. And at first,andolfini like shows him some respect but then he quickly realizes that redford does not like the way gandolfini runs the prison and gandolfini and uh and redford stands up to him and sort of organizes the

prisoners yeah i've seen that but i watched this today it was like it was middle of the afternoon i was working on my laptop and i was like just a little bit of background something and then the last castle was suggested to me so i put that on and part of the reason i was like, oh, just a little bit of background something. And then The Last Castle was suggested to me. So I put that on. And part of the reason I was like, oh, James Gandolfini. Awesome. I love that guy. Start watching it. And I don't think I've ever seen a movie that does a worse job of making me root for the side they want me to root for.

Because if you go back and watch that movie, Kyle, the movie itself is James Gandolfini running a military prison and a military general is being sent in. And James Gandolfini is there shining his Civil War saber like he's such a military aficionado. He loves all that stuff and he's a colonel. And he even says, he's like, sending this guy to me, his name should be on the fucking building. He shouldn't be staying here.

And then the general who's being the prisoner shows up james gandolfini goes i have your book can i go get it real quick and you can sign it for me he's fanboying out over this general who he's now going to be looking over as an inmate and he leaves and as he's coming back the general is standing there looking at all of this war memorabilia. And he goes, no one who's ever fought on the battlefield would keep things like this. All it would remind them of is the death of fellow men. And James Gandolfini is coming in with the book. And you see him in the background like, he ducks back in and says, I couldn't find the book. I couldn't find the book. I'm so sorry.

You go back. You go to the cell. We'll do this another time. This entire thing started with James Gandolfini feeling slighted. And the movie tries to tell you that Robert Redford is going to revamp this prison. And the whole time, it's really a story of James Gandolfini barely holding on to a now structurally compromised prison because Robert Redford listens to a couple inmates and says, yeah, you know what we're going to do? We're going to cause a riot. We're going to overtake the prison. Why? Because we're going to get the

headmaster, the warden fired. And what do they do? Does Robert Redford, the general, start constructing a peaceful protest of sorts? No. He instructs all the prisoners to start creating bombs and guns and bazookas. They fire a chain through a makeshift gun at a helicopter and bring it to the ground at one point. And it was supposed to be a moment of triumph where they fire it and they tie the helicopter down to the very end of the movie. And then the one prisoner who was going to take the warden's side decides at the end,

I'm going to take Robert Redford's side and fight for the prisoners. He climbs up there and you think, wow, he's going to escape in this helicopter. No, he just kills the people on the helicopter and then crashes it into the yard. The whole movie. And Kyle, I know you remember enough about movies. You might be able to dispute it.

The whole movie is about Robert Redford being an absolute terrorist with no actual aims to improve the prison. But he smiles when he does it. Is that Robert Redford's smile? That's it. And you're just like, okay. And Robert Redford the whole time is like, I'm an honest general, and I've always been one.

As he's firing a trebuchet he built from the built out of the gym into James Gandolfini's office that's not a joke they fire a rock with a trebuchet into James Gandolfini's office and they destroy his civil war memorabilia and he's all upset about it but it's like it's just it's just straight up terrorism what he's doing and the whole time the entire movie was hinged being like, you know, Robert Redford, four years in here and all those mistakes in the general are gone

and you can meet your four-year-old grandson that you've never even seen. And he decides instead to lead a terrorist insurrection of a military prison. In which, you know,

I didn't watch the very end. There was a couple minutes left and it was taking fucking forever. Yeah, they had to kill him at the end. Yeah, they probably killed him, but it's a terrible movie and I did not take the side of Robert Redford once. It was

James Gandolfini all the way. He was trying to control the situation. I've only seen it once and it's been a long long time ago, but yeah, that's all ringing pretty true. Yeah, it seemed like Gandolfini. I do remember the whole part where Gandolfini gets embarrassed by Redford like there at the beginning.

Yeah, yeah, I think you're right about that one. No, I'm going to spend 20 more minutes talking about a movie from 2000. I want to talk about fucking baseball, the most exciting sport in the world. How are the Braves doing? I'm talking about fucking baseball, the most exciting sport in the world. How are the Braves doing? We just beat the Reds. Best of the two out of three, three-game series.

Braves won the first two. First game was just very exciting. Braves won one to nothing in like 13 fucking innings. And then they won today. I don't remember what what the score was eight to one or something like that so uh braves move along in the postseason for the first time in 19 years wow they they're they clinched it the marlins clinched it oh the st louis is in there you go yep yep uh they may end up playing the braves i've been watching the eagles a little bit i don't know if the eagles lost their first game they lost their second game and then it was them against the bengals both of them haven't had a win all year and i'm like well someone's time

they tied they tied each other they both still have no wins wait they let a game into a tie in football yeah anymore fuck i don't remember the last time i saw that right They both still have no wins. Wait, they let a game in with a tie? In football, yeah. I didn't think they allowed that anymore. Fuck, I don't remember the last time I saw that. Right? I don't think I've ever seen that. Neither team has a win. Oh, that's humiliating.

Well, that's cool. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, there's other things here for the Eagles. The Bengals are a perennial powerhouse. There's no shame in tying them. There's not always a chance. The Rams, fuck the rams hoping they always suck no i'm excited because the braves might actually go a little bit deeper

in the postseason this year it's um looking good huh it's pretty good team we got a really good offense and the um i don't know really good offense they did win that one nothing game so that's cool that was i guess a very good pitcher pitcher and kind of uncharacteristic for them. They are either the highest scoring or the second highest scoring team in the National League. Interesting. They've had a good year. Of course, you know baseball better than me, but it's like you can't tell how good a team is by one game. Oh, not at all.

Good teams lose. In football, usually the better team wins like it's kind of weird that it doesn't go the way you expect uh in baseball though like 70 is a pretty good win record right that would be a very very good win record yeah outstanding that'd be outstanding but i don't think you know being what would that be, 9-3, 9-4 in football is like outstanding, something you don't see every goddamn year. Yeah, but in baseball they play like 180 fucking games too. And the starting pitching is such a big deal. It would be like if you played – it would be like if NFL teams had to play a different quarterback, four quarterbacks quarterbacks a month they're not all gonna be your best quarterback right yeah those are uh this is

a third best quarterback we'll see how it goes uh normally he serves hot dogs but uh you know you don't know what you'd get but with the you know and that's how starting pitching is you know sometimes it's like it's a guy they just brought up from the minor leagues or something like that. Do they have a rule in baseball that if every pitcher or everyone of some given position isn't able to play, they have a stand-in guy in the seats? Oh, shit. No, they grab outfielders, right? I don't know what they do when they run completely out of players because... Because you know what the NHL does?

The NHL, you have a goalie and a backup goalie. And if both of those goalies are injured, there is an emergency. The best CPA goalie in the city. There is an emergency standby fan who plays goalie. And that happened for the Chicago Blackhawks two years ago, where in the middle of a game, they were terrible, so it didn't matter. Their starter got injured, their backup got injured,

and so they called on a 40-year-old certified public accountant who had signed up for this, and he played the third period for the Chicago Blackhawks against an NHL team. And I think he only let one goal win. Like they were playing a terrible team. And like, obviously once NHL players know, we got an accountant in the back, they create a turtle shell basically to try and keep people out

because you take some random guy and throw him in the NHL. They're going to score a hundred percent of the time. If they have a clean shot, you have no chance. But that was hilarious. You forfeit in baseball. Oh. If they run out but that was you forfeit in baseball oh if they run out of players you forfeit i could have sworn i've seen outfielders give it a go am i crazy maybe i'm yeah yeah but you can't i think you can only change positions um once or something like

that so like if you run out i'm saying if you completely run out of players if you can't fill nine players because i'm pretty sure you can only like you can start the game as a first baseman and then move to pitch but then i don't think you can move somewhere else again then you can only move once so if you if you complete if you can't field nine players based on that rule then you just forfeit in any case uh i'm pretty excited i hope the braves actually had a decent postseason it's kind of weird that there's no fucking fans of the game and they're i listened to them on the radio isn't that weird no fans at the game thing it really trips me out do you watch ufc dick no no i watched it's been weird uh this whole summer like i feel like i missed everything just because

i usually happen to see stuff at bars and since i'm not going you know because it's illegal i just the whole season went by i'm like oh i didn't see anything in the ufc you can hear everything you can hear the fighters talk to each other you can hear the corners talk to the fighters i think i'm growing to like it more like there is a bit of electricity missing but i think i'm even more interested in the conversations than the electricity. I agree. UFC is better with no fans. Every other sport is worse.

And it's even worse that they're like trying to – I hate when they put the cardboard cutouts in the stands. I was watching some NBA highlights, and they don't even have individual cutouts per seat. It looked like they had a giant mural of fans behind the baskets. And it was like, you couldn't even put the cardboard cutouts? I saw the Denver Broncos put the entire town of South Park in the stands. Hilarious.

That's a great game. It's well done. And then they pipe in the fan noise and, you know, at baseball games, they've got so much shit going over the loudspeakers from the Oregon music to the, the, you know, different teams at different things. But in Atlanta, they've got like a couple of different chants that we do and they're still playing all that shit. And I was like, why,

why are you still playing the the fucking chop like there's nobody here to do the fucking tomahawk chop man like just let it go in basketball i might like the games more with no fans but i find the bubble interesting you know like so everyone's shooting out of this world there's a guy named rondo he's a career like 30 percent free point shooter it's like 50 in the bubble right now and these numbers are going to be wrong but they're effectively close enough and um everyone's shooting percentage is way up because you don't have fans in the background wiggling foam fingers and shit at them anymore they get to play in the same uh court day

after day after day so you're not adjusting i know the court dimensions are the same but the whole layout and depth perception and stuff varies now they practice there they play there every single time and the offenses are doing better and you can occasionally hear them like yell at each other in ways that you couldn't before yeah yeah i like that. I like that. I like the players they did that really really briefly in a test period with the nhl realized like this is a terrible these guys are so racist they're all white and they somehow find racial slurs against fellow white people well yeah then well they find all sorts of ways you know the the even like what the blackest player in the nhl is like a quarter black like he's an octoroon very few black people in the nhl but it's more the uh what does twitch want

you to call it the f slur that's what twitch yeah yeah i don't think they want you to call it? The F slur. That's what Twitch. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they want you to call it that. I think they're just allowing it for now. There's a different F slur frog that they call each other. It's a, you didn't hear that. Yeah. It's a, apparently it's a French,

French people. Yeah. Yeah. I heard the French thing. I didn't know in the NHL, they say that it was a big deal. Yeah. It was a while ago,

but yeah, that somebody got in a lot of trouble for it and then they wanted him to apologize and he's like i'll apologize to french people because i underestimated how offensive that was but to that dude fuck that dude i will never apologize to that dude he is horrible i still hate him and he's only pretending to be offended by the frog word you know so that he could get me in trouble. This is another tactic. It's literally the word frog, right? Yes.

Yeah, this is literally the word. I was mocked because unless you're including the like what, Quebecois, like there's no French people in the NHL. Like nobody from France is in the NHL. Oh, he was French Canadian. French Canadian. Okay, that makes sense. There's quite a few of those fellers. Yeah, apparently it's offensive to call them that. I don't know. He felt like the guy

wasn't actually offended. This was just yet another tool to mess with him. Yeah, of course. He was cry-bullying. Basically cry-bullying. I can see that. I don't know who the player was who was cry-bullying, but I would totally believe that.'s no way any in any world that any plurality of nhl fans are like did you call that french person a frog i'm not watching the games anymore fuck up pussy who cares uh yeah the nhl brass did they they i guess one they don't want to lose that fan base and two, everyone's sensitive about race-based insults. Meanwhile, Don Cherry, who ended up getting

fired for being too funny is Don Cherry was the NHL hockey night in Canada guy for decades and he is hilarious. He's straight up fucking funny, just senile old man, hot takes.

And his thing is like, no one ever comes after him for being racist. They come after him for being like xenophobic because to him, if you're a good old Ontario boy from the middle of the country here in Canada, you're a fucking good guy. You're a hard hitter.

You're playing hard. You're playing good. You're fucking, that's what we need in this game. If you are a French Canadian, he's like, look at him fucking flailing around out there like a goddamn pussy fucking around. This isn't the game that we brought up, boys. I've been

doing fucking hockey night in Canada for 40 fucking years. This isn't what we brought up. These fucking Europeans are coming over here and flopping around, changing the game. Like, that was his thing always. And it was always him, like, ripping on other white countries. Like, he doesn't give a fuck about what's happening in Somalia or the Congo. He's a hockey guy.

But when he sees a French or a European player come over, he would just be like, yeah, just prep yourself again, boys. He's going to be falling all over the goddamn place, falling around. Good old Ontario boy, Taylor Hall there. Well, not Taylor Hall. He's from New Jersey. But good old Ontario boy, fucking Drew Dowdy, smashes him there. Perfectly fine hit.

Look at him. Look at him laying on the ground. Pause that. And he was doing it with another guy on the show who was not at all cool with these rants. He'd be like, pause that. No, don't take it past it. Just take it back.

Yeah, look at that fucking guy laying on the ground. That's not what we want here. That's not hockey. Yeah, Don Cherry. I stand, Don Cherry. That is not a common take. I think a lot of people celebrated his... What did he do at the end that got him

kicked off? I think he once again was calling European players fairies or something. I think he once again was calling European players fairies or something. Because it is a thing in the hockey world, like Americans and Canadians play a lot heavier game than the Europeans. Generally, you see that going back to Russia. Faster and they deke and they dodge really well. But they don't engage with physicality nearly as much.

And that's what fairies meant to him? As a non-physical player? Okay. Oh, to him, I totally believe it. He's been living in the same bubble for 40 years. He doesn't know what works. Nobody ever said to him, hey, maybe not fairies. I don't know.

Think of something else. There's a guy there's a uh i'm trying to see who he announces for is uh for cincinnati that's so funny his name is spelled thom so i'm guessing it's tom tom brenneman uh he was on a hot mic announcing a like in back in august and he used the f flare and uh f like frank like fag he said that and they uh i'm pretty sure he i'm pretty sure he lost his job oh yeah he came back on like he said it and then he's like this may be my last game i just want you guys to know how sorry i am yeah he realized like his life was his career was over he's like i love this game and i love this job and this might be my last day doing it it was hard to watch and then it wasn't? That was his last thing? Yes! Pretty sure he's gone. Yeah.

It's so much better than that protracted, like, Vin Scully, we're doing three years to play you out kind of thing and having a gala. Just one F-slur at the end when you're done. F-slur. I'm out, guys. See ya. My last check.

Could UFC fighters get out of their contract that way? They should just break the morality clause. They get more money by saying that. It's the UFC. If you say that and you're from a Muslim community in Russia, big ups. The UFC is not big on punishing people for what they say or even what they do.

Khabib has a fight coming up uh if people don't know khabib nerga man off something close to that nerga man off he um his father died recently and his father was involved in his fighting too he's always in his corner his father was an expert wrestler he might have been his grappling coach growing up i don't know if he still is whatever this is his first fight he's preparing without his father helping him every goddamn reporter is like ah so uh is it tough with the dead dad it's rough having a dead dad as you're preparing for this fight and he's like yes yes everyone's asking is your dad alive wouldn't it be bad if he was dead right now? Yeah, I love that. Do you have father?

He's like, yeah, I got a dad. How would you like if he dead? Would it be hard or easy? I guess it'd be kind of hard. Yes, of course, it's hard when father die. Yes. Yes, hard. Yeah, even the reporter I thought was insane.'s like is your father alive he's like of course

he's alive like you know you're talking to a guy with a dead dad yeah right what this mean my father weak your father's stronger than my father because my father dead now i find your father it's i'm looking forward to the fight i uh i really hope gaethje beats him that'd be fucking stupendous but my i have this i haven't heard anyone say it so i'm going after it first i think khabib beats connor connor beats gaethje gaethje might beat khabib like there's this like triangle rock paper scissors thing happening and who does tony beat Who does Tony beat? Poirier. Maybe. I don't know.

I think Tony might beat Conor. Yeah, hard to call. I don't know if Conor can knock him the fuck out. Because Gacy couldn't knock him the fuck out. But he always gets almost knocked out. Wait, didn't they stop the fight? They stopped the fight but tony was very upset about that because his face was still on his skull and that meant he could still fight and he he had a second fight later that night that he wasn't ready to get to yet with the space aliens that live in his wall i don't know what connor has this guy's this guy tony ferguson is literally like um i

don't know what the medical term is but i just he's literally insane like not stable um at one point he thought they were voices in his wall he was tearing the walls of his home apart he told his wife that there was about to be an apocalypse and the world was going to flood again like noah's ark style and she was like tony that shit's not about to happen. He's like, just believe me. And she's like, all right, here's what we're going to do. Pack the bags, pack the kids. We'll go on the desert like you want.

But on Tuesday, if the world hasn't ended, we got to come back here and we got to start getting a grip on things. All right. So they literally did. They went to the desert. Tuesday came. They went back the desert. Tuesday came, they went back home and he was like, maybe it was, maybe it's next month.

I don't know. They're coming though. And, uh, he kidnapped his own son, like snatched him up, ran off into the darkness. The wife is like a fence while carrying the son.

Very impressive. Athletic feet. He jumped a fence while carrying a little fella. Um, he, he's, he, he's literally a crazy person and he's a ufc

fighter uh one of the best in the world cool yeah well i can't wait to see what he hallucinates next what an exciting fighter well hopefully he'll hallucinate so uh that he's gonna win his next fight i want to see him fight again he's he's always fun to watch fight uh he does all this crazy he trains himself and uh it's it's bizarre he's what diego sanchez thinks he is like like he's doing all this capoeira like brazilian dance fighting he's kicking metal poles to kill the nerves and my favorite is when he likes he ties a couple bungee cords on himself this like runs from the wall and he goes back and then he runs forward again like you ever see those like gym fail videos people in the gym like doing stupid shit with like the the pulleys and stuff he does that but unironically as a world champion professional athlete.

It's great. He's great. I love him. As far as Conor goes, who can he beat? What does Conor have anymore? So we saw Conor fight Khabib, and it was a good fight. He lost all but one round, I think, before they stopped it. Yeah, it's the only round Khabib's lost, and it may be the best takedown defense that anyone's had against Khabib.

So Khabib had a dominant fight. Right, that's where I was headed. So Khabib had a dominant fight against him, but at least they belonged in the same ring, right? But that was like three years ago. Since then, he beat the ghost of Cow of cowboy and that's it right like that's so if connor fights in 2020 we haven't seen connor what's that like does he have an incentive to fight like he's got more money than anyone he wants to he says he wants to fight pacquiao uh for

you know 100 million dollars or he wants uh 50 years old 32 you think pacquiao for $100 million or he wants Is he like 50 years old? 32 you think? Pacquiao? Oh, I'm sorry. I was doing Conor. But he doesn't care how old the guy is. But right now they're discussing him fighting a UFC fighter in the UFC or perhaps in a

boxing ring for charity in Dublin. So, I don't know. I think he's been boxing like on his he's bought i think he's been boxing like on his on his time out i think he's been every time i see him on instagram he's wearing like boxing gear like that fucking like cock belt they wear a thing every time i see connor he still has abs so he's doing something right yeah yeah he's working hard i see him all sweaty talking about like like connor fitness or some bullshit system he's got connor strong connor quick connor fast i don't know whatever it's

called to answer taylor's question connor's 32 manny's 41 okay and and so this would just be a publicity fight he's aiming for now um i mean it'd be the same thing as the mayweather fight it'd be 100 million dollars in his pocket to fight that's what i'm saying though it's like i just realized that dick has enormous dildo mounted to the wall behind him are you serious oh we had we talked about that on the show before yeah we have of course of course i just forgotten okay never mind sorry but yeah um you should go own the libs Later tonight Fucking myself in the ass For white supremacy I noticed it was a quiet

Cock Fucking yourself in the ass for the delbo Yeah I don't know He looks like he's working hard And I bet his hands are as good As they've ever been I don't know where his cardio is though I don't know I don't know where his cardio is though i don't know well he's writing his or i'm not packing out but uh mcgregor he's writing

his prime right 32 maybe a couple years after the prime but 39 is your prime that's a man's prime i like to tell myself i agree that's the ultimate prime. Some people say 47. People are saying... One does, for sure. Stupid people saying that 47... I'm with you on that one, Woody. That should be the reverse of that. 74. 74.

Because your dick keeps growing. Like a shark's teeth. That's why I have 37 of them now. That's not how shark's teeth in my observation that's why i have 37 of them now shark's teeth work i uh i don't know sorry i i you know like you always say i like seeing connor on my tv so whatever he does i'll watch it um i would like look if he did a show where it was called connor versus the pub and they just went to a pub and they found eight guys and he had to fight them one after another oh i'd watch that on stream that's a

great show and and if if if they can like score enough points on connor they all get drinks for free and if he wins he gets the pub right very irish game you know what kyle this is the this is the start of something but i want to see connor versus the gypsy community all of them just go roll into some sort of traveling gypsy area and have them all fight connor for money i want him to fight like this though that that old timey like knuckles down style i want to see snatch taught me that that is exactly how those people fight yes i want to see Snatch taught me that that is exactly how those people fight. Yes, I want to see more of that. Apparently that's that is an effective bare knuckle

boxing technique. Something like this just keeping your hands out really far. I think it's the knuckles down sort of stance rather than I think it's something related to the body shots in bare knuckles being like people don't want to hit your head especially you taylor because they're they bust up their hands so

they they're they're really protecting their ribs and stuff and the bare knuckles i'm told i don't know yeah yeah i've read that as well or i've heard that as well something about breaking your hands on people's fucking faces which makes sense dude you punch my head it's gonna be like when you see those armored trucks drive into those concrete pylons that come out of the ground your hand will crumple like a piece of paper you have no idea the density here my neck muscles so strong we measured our skulls the other day what was your measurement i was i blew you guys out of the water what do you like his skull was at least an inch or two bigger than my skull no dick you don't know i did uh it was this was like months and months ago but i was like yeah for 2 000 subs

on twitch i'm gonna buy a uh what is it a caliper and then go to a phrenology website with documents from the mid-1800s and then see where I line up. And so much of it was like, how to tell you're an honest man? Measure your head and see if it fits into these parameters. How does your nose look? And it would literally be a picture of a man from side profile with a straight nose, and it would say, honest man. And then you'd say a side profile of someone with a crooked nose

and it would say be wary of the deceptive individual like that sounds anti-semitic is that what you're seeing whoa you can get into that however you want beware of the nice sheep man beware of I can't say that

did you go to the human scale Taylor or did you have to go to the human scale Taylor or did you have to go to the bear scale or something I stayed on the human scale I was just and like it was there was a list of about 20 to 25 measurements that you would take and it was like here to here here to here top to bottom and

like the first couple I was like oh this is like a fun meme I'm in and I would give percentiles so I was in the 99th percentile the 100th percentile a couple of them and i was like the 105th percentile and then after like 10 of those tests i was like oh no like my head really is as big as the memes you're talking about like i'm blowing out the readings on this like it would be like from here to here x amount of inches and i would i would i remember taking that one and going i'll probably be pretty normal here and then i looked at it and was like looked at the scale looked at it looked that can't be right that can't be right there's no way my head

is bigger than 600 out of 601 peoples on this planet i'm just doing like the numbers out of And it did. Or like with the meter climbing up. That was pretty much it. And it turned out that on average, I think I'm in like the 99 point something percentile of average head of head size. And so it's, it's sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. Two hats. I wear two hats, but they're like over here, like two, two different sorry. Yeah. He had to wear two hats. I wear two hats, but they're like over here, like two, two different sides. I keep it on one, one United bill.

Do you ever wear hats? Never. They don't fit on me. Okay. Fair enough. Do they really never fit on you? No, they,

they, I can wear hats. It's just like my head is so big. It looks silly. There's no reason for me to be like, look at this. Yeah, wear a hat once. I leave the sticker on. It says 8.5.

Oh, my God. Not really, not really. That would be absurd. Do you blow out the neck hole on your shirts? Do you have neck hole problems? I do. I blow out the neck hole on your shirts oh my god i do i blow out the neck hole on my shirts pretty often that's why carhartt has been great these things this retains this elasticity like no one's business regular shirts no chance these carhartt made for people who do work that i don't do on a day-to-day basis this can handle my sweatiness and my nonsense remember Seinfeld

when George had borrowed that guy's sweater and stretched the neck hole out dude I that's the show I need to go back and rewatch again like it has been years since I've had a solid Seinfeld rewatch and that show just it cracks my shit up i love it oh dude my girlfriend had go ahead i was saying i watched

it last year all the way through yeah uh my girlfriend had never seen it so like i got to sit her down and watch the entire thing and it's uh from episode one till i didn't i didn't want to show her this is the series finale but you know i had to it's not that bad oh it's it's worse it's even it's even worse seeing it and like going through like seeing it through the person you're watching it with eyes and just realizing exactly why it was so fucked up uh it was great experience, I hear you watching that finale, but also like, I see it like Seinfeld cashed out through the parachute ended it. And that was the right move.

Even if the ending kind of sucked and it was just them being like, Oh, you didn't protect John Panette from being fat across the street or whatever it was, but they didn't do what it's always sunny in philadelphia did which is continue for three extra seasons they don't need and make tremendously unfunny episodes when compared to their previous yeah it's been rough and so like i would much rather it be like seinfeld where they cash out with a kind of half-assed conclusion as opposed

to it's always sunny where they just drag it out, drag it out. It's getting less and less funny by the season. Have you ever seen the reunion episode they did on Curb Your Enthusiasm? I love that one. I love the piece that they actually figured out a way to do it without making it cringe. Yeah, they do a Seinfeld reunion episode on Curb Your Enthusiasm with the full cast of Seinfeld.

Oh, that's good. I mean, I still have quite a few seasons of Curb to get through. Yeah, it's much later on. I think I'm going to watch the first two and a half, maybe three. Oh, it gets so much better, dude. Spoiler, she divorces him. Really? Because he's a piece of shit and starts dating Ted.

She's like dating Ted Danson. His life becomes real shitty. But the black guy who's living in his house, Leon, he just stays. So now it's like him and Leon living. Even though Leon's whole family has moved out.

Leon was only there because it was a fucking hurricane and he needed somewhere to stay. The hurricane's been gone for a decade leon's still there i'm sure it's hilarious because curb is great like larry david really showed that he was the genius behind that show by making curb man i mean it's still good and they're like 10 10 seasons in or whatever like this this previous season with the spite store where, you know, he just creates like, you know,

here's this billionaire Jewish guy who gets mad at the Loki local coffee vendor. And so he buys the, the retail space right next door and opens latte Larry's and drops the price is cheap as fuck. So, so Mocha Joe is over there having to lower his coffee down 10 cents and then larry lowers his 10 cents and back and forth and back and forth

and larry's improved on all of the you know larry's like every table should have curelle on it and because he's a germaphobe and every table should be bolted to the floor because i'm tired of wobbly tables it's it's fucking great man you're starting on new shows and you haven't even finished curb what are you what are you doing you got to finish your you got to finish your dinner before you get dessert man i should i should i i take most of my recommendations from kyle and woody here on my media consumption and i find myself like i have a basement gym with my tv and everything and so often it'll be like what do i want to watch and listen to while i'm working out king of the hill again or opie and anthony or opie and anthony i listen to if you took the amount of hours I spend listening to old opiate Anthony clips throughout a week, it would be a full time job.

Like just always my background sound when I'm cleaning the kitchen, when I'm doing whatever. It's all old opiate Anthony bits. I've been going through the Lady Di saga again. That's hilarious. I've been add much to the show because I know you're a big Anthony fan. Yeah, huge Anthony and Jim Norton fan. Opie Opie never sucked me in as part of the show because i know you're a big anthony fan yeah huge anthony and jim norton fan opie opie never sucked me in as part of the show he would if anything he often ruined bits because like they like uh jim and anthony would be like riff riff riff riff riff like going somewhere

with like bobo or lady die like the whack pack of their i don't know what their branding was but whatever the whack pack was for them and so often oppie would step in and be like, oh, we got to take a caller. Steve from Munaki or something. And it's like, God, God damn it, dude. Like you just stepped on it right in the middle of the funny stuff. There was no reason for you to do that. And so you can definitely hear an old ONA clips. There are clips called Nopi clips on YouTube. And so you can definitely hear an old ONA clips. There are clips called Nopey clips on YouTube. And so you can search Nopey. And someone took the time to go through entire ONA episodes and edit out every single thing that Opie must have heard. And it is, dude, I guarantee he's not hurt.

He's a multimillionaire living in an awesome place. That doesn't make you not hurt. No, he's very hurt. His new show, like his voicemail even has him... He's like telling people if they're going to leave a message, like don't be negative.

He seems extremely sensitive. He might be because there were also clips like throughout the... Because you can watch like an entire saga of the ONA show falling apart over years and it's like eight hours long and the photo of it is anthony opie and jim photoshopped into the downfall poster which is the poster of the hitler movie where it's like anthony standing there is hitler like in the downfall and they all doing that. And you can see it totally fall apart, but it all seemed, at least from a listener, from someone...

You know how it is being a listener to a show. You don't actually know the inner workings. You don't know shit. You can assume a lot of things, but just watching that, it was like... Opie clearly became jealous of jim and anthony driving the direction and he would always try and re-seize the control because at the end of the day he was like the in-charge guy uh but yeah opie is is not liked i didn't know that what you said dick i didn't know he was like still sensitive about it i assumed he just kind of cashed out and was like i'm worth like 15 million

dollars i'm good to go but that doesn't work at all like like i see that a lot like the internet will give some nba player a hard time who missed the game winning free throw and a handful of people are like what he's rich it doesn't bother him no it absolutely bothers him this is his entire identity he's been working on this since he was a little kid his sense of self-worth is wrapped up and being able to do shit like this and he didn't do it uh that probably describes opie too you just hit it on you hit the nail on the head right there woody because there were definitely times in the clips where anthony jim and opie were arguing arguing where opie would just write out and out say like oh you guys leave i'll still run a hit show i'll run a hit show

i've done it before i found both of you guys i can find more people and that was his kind of angle because opie in in honesty he's the one who brought anthony on board anthony was a tin knocker like working in attics and he's like anthony's meaning like he was installing ac units and heating units and that's all he did. And Opie genuinely did find the talent, which was Anthony, but it kind of consumed him to the point where he's like, Oh,

that talent, like the people who have grown to love Anthony and Jim bantering. I can, I can do that again. I can do that again in a different direction. And that was kind of the last time that I saw him. It's hard to catch lightning, right? Yeah.

Like, Anthony is one of the... I haven't listened to enough Stern. Like, Kyle will probably disagree with me on this, but ONA, classic ONA, is the funniest fucking shit out there. It's great because they didn't have structure. They didn't have planned bits. They did, but not as much as like,

just bring in a bunch of Jim Norton's hilarious comedian friends and just have them riff and make fun of each other. When, when Colin Quinn calls Bobby Kelly, a fat comedian, when he says you look like a last minute gift at the Beijing airport, when he says that, that makes me laugh so hard.

Like it's just the the ruthless insults when he calls anthony a back alley tunisian knife fighter or uh or whatever the other ones were of course yeah it's really funny i think i i have a hard time choosing between the best of Stern and the best of ONA. Some of those Stern bits are so fucking good. Like some of that stuttering John stuff, some of those like a contest they had. Some of the, any of that make you laugh as hard as when they brought in lady die, a hardcore alcoholic homeless woman to be an intern for a week.

And she clogged up the sink with vomit and shit. It was, but, but, but late time, maybe last building, but I had the video of that, right?

Like I didn't have video for the stern stuff. Like, like, like maybe if I'd had video for the stern stuff, it would have been as funny. But like some of that shit, man, when they went to Nambla to the North American man,

boy love associations,'s big meeting, and Stuttering John is questioning these guys and finding information out about them, and the guys are being super open about what they're into. And they go back and forth between playing those clips and Howard making fun of it. That's really funny. But then they'll just have literally retarded people come into the studio.

They had Beetlejuice, which is a... What was that? Remember the Zika virus that we were all afraid of? Yeah, he got it. He doesn't have it, but he has what it causes, which is that tiny head syndrome.

His head is like... Yeah, that's it. Of course, you know what tiny heads you're hoping you could get it. Average me and him. He's got this pointy head that's about one third normal human size. And

while they say brain size doesn't correspond to intelligence, in his case no fucking retarded taylor's diet on that hill obviously brain size correlates with intelligence you look at the big animals that have big brains are the smartest ones bird brains not smart literally does literally does brain size in comparison to body weight. Beetlejuice is a black midget with a cone head the size of a cantaloupe. And these awful rotted teeth. And he thinks he's a badass and a pimp. And they bring him in.

And I want to say they were sponsored by Manscaped. One of those companies that makes razors to trim your junk. And so, well, I got good idea for a sponsor segment a beetle juice this porn star is gonna shave your balls yeah to strip down a little bit little man yeah get naked right there oh yeah we're recording for the e-show no big deal right no let's do it and he's just naked there it's on youtube uncensored somewhere this tiny headed retarded black midget completely naked getting shaved by a porn star while a a multi millionaire watches and laughs with all of his friends that stuff was good it's not my favorite part of stern uh one i thought his celebrity interviews were really good. He got celebrities relaxed and answering questions that no one else could.

He had a gift for that. And also, I don't know if I love this so much, but he built a community. He'd go into a new city, and he'd want to be number one in that city. He'd talk about how he wanted to be number one in that city and how people needed to vote for him and fill out nielsen cards and just like stack the deck so that he would be rated number one in that city and a lot of people would be like yeah clearly we have to get howard to be number one in nashville somehow it's our mission to make him number one and you know i'm like driving somewhere in new jersey thinking man i hope he hits number one in Nashville. This apparently is important. I don't know why that's important to me. They did have a community.

Do you know who won People Magazine's best looking man of the year for 1999? It's Howard. Well, second place was Leonardo DiCaprio. First place went to Hank, the angry dwarf. See? And that's perfect that's what you want why can't we ruin those competitions anymore we used to we used to do this show live and we'd routinely take down websites that you wouldn't think we could take down like it if you go back eight years ago place like wendy's wouldn't have a lot of DDoS protection and stuff. And we'd be like, everyone hit F5.

Hit F5. And we'd just take down Maglite, Wendy's, McDonald's, shit like that. Whatever we could think of just for the – Yeah. I mean, you can't take down Amazon. They're built for that. We'd be like, take down my YouTube homepage. Yeah, yeah.

Keep hitting F5. It's auto-playing, huh? All right, keep it up. You'll get it. Watch that ad before you click off. Make sure the views count it. The humiliation parts of Stern that I loved. Like Baba Booey's video that he sent to his ex hi hello or hello hello like that

just paying him 20 grand to endure that sort of humiliation was beautiful if i remember correctly it's a little fuzzy because it's been so long but he had like made a video of him apologizing to his girlfriend and like mailed it to her or something like that and it was like the weaseliest scumbag like non-apology they were all they were critiquing it i know that you think that i was in the wrong but you know i was in a rough place and i think you'll come to understand that and it's just like this long non-apology literal video because it's on a cassette tape that he mailed through the mail to her home your jesse ventura impression there and she and she must have like sent it to how he had a copy he found it he. Oh, and he brought it in. Yeah, he brought it in. And then he paid him like 30 grand to do a screening of it for everybody on the show and, you know, favorites.

Jackie the Joke Man used to get paid in advertising. Like he didn't have a really high salary, but they advertise his CDs all the time, his comedy CDs. cds i recently saw a thing where it's jackie it's um stuttering john and uh somebody else doing like a round table talking about um you know their time on the stern show and they were talking about how shitty the pay was from the e-channel specifically and uh i want it may have been jackie i don't remember which one it was but they were they were talking to somebody and they were like yeah what what's that gig pay that's crazy everybody watches it and he's like they offered me 10 but i'm not gonna fucking take it i'm not gonna fucking take it that's bullshit they're like you can't be doing so well that ten thousand dollars a week isn't worth your

time and he's like no it's 10 a year it's 10 a year that they're offering me they were it's hard to it's hard to find what right is 10 a year it feels really wrong but howard's getting rich right howard's getting rich he's the king of all media he's got the book he's got the movie he's got the radio show he has a tv show he's where he's making it all happen but what is the gap between Howard's pay and Jackie's pay supposed to be? Well like what happened was like because he hadn't signed his e-contract because he wanted like his lawyer to look at it

first and there was some slight delay every time he came into the studio the e-channel had to turn off their cameras because he hadn't signed his contract so it became this big controversy and like howard calls into his office and he has to like apologize and and be like i'm so sorry that i did this i'm so sorry i wanted my lawyer to look at my contract before i

signed it sir i know that you're trying to make an extra eight million dollars this year and and get yourself over to the top i know you want to make 125 million this year and not just 117 or whatever the fuck yeah howards was such a scummy piece of shit it's just the worst but he should have like look if if if the main guy the guy who's the titular star of the show is making is going to end up being a billionaire off of it, then the guys who we can name right offhand, like Jackie and Benji and the people who were there making, especially, well, Fred got paid. Fred and Robin got paid. But nobody else did.

Everybody else was getting paid just peanuts. All the rest of it went into Howard's greedy pockets. I think Artie had a good deal. Artie was making, I think, $1 million a year. That's a horrible deal for the amount of reach they had. That's terrible. Well, he was just sitting there high on heroin, eating McMuffins for four hours.

It doesn't matter what he was actually doing. If he was contributing to the show and being the funny man. Nah, that's communist it's well it's on howard's back it's all on his back it's way more he's got to replace people yeah i don't people get bored um i didn't watch the arty error so i i won't weigh in but i i did watch like fred and jackie and i always thought jackie was way better than fred like he added way more to the show to me than fred did fred added the soundboard which i kind of hated i love it yeah yeah i think i'm in the minority i don't like when jackie opens his mouth where jackie where jackie like puts his best work in is when he he whispers to howard

check the i don't know what they call it it's a it's a defunct fucking internal dming system that they use so like they're typing it wasn't even that it was some sort of radio jargon thing you know he'd like type how he'd type howard a line like a one--liner, to make fun of somebody on the phone or just some fucking great. And Howard would deliver it well, and it would get a huge laugh, and it would be this massive moment. And you know, Jack used to sit over there like, that's me, that's me.

He should have gotten paid for that shit. And you think that What's-His-Name, the guy with the fucked-up nose, wasn't also doing that? I know that Artie was doing that, but Artie probably deserves less because he's doing heroin and asleep half the time. I'm just saying if he's passing jokes to the host and keeping it

funny, that's significant. He was passing jokes when he was conscious. I just think he takes a bit of a pay decrease because of the fact that he was literally jokes funnier than what Howard was coming up with off the cuff. Who could say, yeah,

you don't know which jokes are his and which are Howard's because he's not going, all right, everybody. Hey, I'm sending Howard a joke. Check it out. He's like privately DMing Howard jokes like throughout the show your guess

kyle oh i don't like how many of those funny one-liners are actually my guess would be all of them because i don't think howard's that is that organically funny i think why is it worth a billion dollars uh because that's what he would take fair enough fair enough yeah and and you know i mean and if they paid him two million he would have killed himself like like like let's think along those lines uh you give that guy two million and he's he's fucking dead it's not just his nose rotted off his face it's the whole face he got punched right i'm that's a big part of it was the the punching but also you know the years and years of snorting cocaine and heroin couldn't

have helped. Do you snort heroin? You can. Yeah, you can snort heroin. What's the one where you... It's also heroin that you inject. No, okay, but what's the one where you put it in a spoon and turn it into an inhalable... That's heroin.

Wait, you're talking about free-basing methamphetamine yeah yeah oh where you heat that up and then you use a glass straw to suck the fumes in yeah and maybe crack it has like it almost looks like a bowl a crack pipe like it has a yeah it's got a little round bowl on the end you're correct that's how mine all are no that's how mine is too i smoke a lot of crack that's why i'm so healthy and slim yeah yeah it keeps me focused wait i eat 3 000 calories of salted meats we lost uh dick's second account that's what just happened are you putting it back oh sorry about that yeah no worries what's that changing are you putting it back or should i fix the layout? No, no, no. Oh, did it mess up the thing? Yeah.

My computer was making noise. Shoot. I can fix it. My computer was making noise, so I shut it down. I think the big difference here is now Dick can't see us. That's okay. Yeah. I don't know.

I just... A million seems like a lot of money for what he was doing. He just seemed like he was doing so little. I'm not saying a million for his position like a lot of money for what he was doing. He just seemed like he was doing so little. I'm not saying a million for his position is a lot. I'm saying a million for his performance. Right? If you were to tell me it was a non-drug dealer, addict I mean to say, if Colin Quinn was crushing it in that job,

he's kind of like a reliable guy who comes to work. You can count on him, I presume. If he's killing it like a reliable guy who comes to work you can count on him i presume like if he's killing it in that job i have an easier time paying him than arty who i have to imagine they're wondering where he is why he's not on time shit like that that was the entertainment though like all of arty's drug abuse was was more engaging to me than his comedy like i wouldn't watch colin quinn tell jokes but i'm into like oh man how did it already fuck up this week like did he is he sober again did he ruin his life for his relationship yeah you always get a pass too like like if anything he would be the one who was hardest on himself. He'd tell the embarrassing story about himself and they'd laugh at it.

But if like, I'm trying to think who was always late, who was just getting it into, was it, was it Benji? It was Benji. Benji got just shit on, just shit on just every fucking day.

They'd shit on Benji. And, uh, it, I don't know i like that i like the parts of the show where they would make fun of the staff i really liked um uh what was that eric the actor or aka eric the midget god he was great show he was he's probably my favorite whack packer he literally tried to have uh a hit put on uh a guy one time it was hilarious and like like they had they they would have this guy who was like it's illegal yeah i know it is oh yeah they would have this guy um come on and like do do stuff with the stern show who who had been in the mob i can't remember

who it was um but he was like an ex man no this this was he was like an ex mobster. And so Hank or excuse me. So what's the fucking midgets name? Eric. Eric calls that guy. Eric calls that guy and leaves him this voicemail. And he's like, hey, that guy, you know, the one he needs to go. You know what to do.

You know what to do. It leaves him this long voicemail where he's literally ordering up a hit. Well, that guy, of course, just brings that voicemail to Howard. And he's like, hey, you're not going to believe this. I think Eric just, hey, boo- boo boo he's like eric just tried to order a hit he just tried to have me off a guy and so they start playing it on the air over and over and over making fun of eric it's great it's fucking hilarious well maybe i'll listen to that i won't though i'm gonna keep listening to old ona oh dude there's i've probably listened

to like the uh the eric the actor eric the midget clips i think there's got to be 60 hours worth on youtube i've listened to them i've listened to those things probably five or six times stuttering john was great like people didn't know stuttering john he was new and they're just like how did you get this job with a speech impediment? And he's just out there doing his best to be actors, trying to be respectful while he's asking

disrespectful questions with a speech impediment. It was a good gig. Yeah. Eric was my favorite. He died. I like he died on the show um you know he they were like yeah eric's going to surgery and then like you hear like the next week uh eric's dead it's like fuck little little fella couldn't make it anymore like they would pick on him so mercilessly though he was um he was a fan of some girl

on american idol which was super hot at the time like dagarmo or something like that and uh and so they were like if we can get you to meet her will you let us make a real doll out of you which is like one of those like hyper realistic sex dolls and he's like i guess we could do that yeah if i could meet her and like so there he is in this was on the e-show or at least on video i saw it because he's his his little retarded eyes are so happy when this like beautiful pop star walks and she's like hey eric it's nice to meet you and he's like it's so nice to meet you too and he's got these little club feet up under his body because he's like he's in a wheelchair he's not only watching a video right now he has the most horrible little feet i've

ever seen well they bring up his feet at one point and and howard's howard's like what's wrong with your feet eric like where do they even go are you do you have feet in those shoes and they just hammer on it hammer on it hammer on it he's avoiding avoiding avoiding avoiding and finally he's like i got a fucking club foot you piece of shit like finally snaps oh and then like he had like a he was gonna have like his own like private comedy show and people were supposed to and like he's advertising it on the air live he's like yeah you just go to this you call this number or go to this website you reserve your seats at eric's comedy show and uh and and fred kept playing that clip of how many people had called him reserved 0.0 he just every time eric tries

to defend himself and the comedy show he plays that that. That's the soundboard. Zero point zero. And finally Eric's like, God damn it, Fred! I'm gonna fucking fly over there and shove that piece of shit right up your ass! And Fred, just without missing a beat, he's like, I'll be waiting at the airport. Zero point

zero. Just having a meltdown. It's great. I mean, I love meltdown stuff like that this is not for now this is for dick to enjoy later hopefully because i know kyle's listened to the whole thing the lady die internship so disgusting it's so funny and dude the she is a hardcore alcoholic like the kind of person who drinks from sun up to sun down sure seven days a week 365 and the last call she makes into the ona show which at that point anthony had been fired it was like right after anthony was fired and it was the opium gym show and she called in and she

had fully i learned about this i think from this it's called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, and it's where you drink so much that you become wet-brained, like you're a retarded person. It's supposed to be wet. Yeah, it's very wet. Too wet. You get wet-brained, which is just you poured so much alcohol over your synapses and stuff over the course of decades that you're just retarded now.

And her last call into the omj show is her talking about how she's on a mission on a navy ship oh god where they call her she calls in like lady die how are you doing what's new she's like i'm just i'm on deployment i'm here outside and they're like where are you where are you lady die and they know she's not had a job since 1998. Yeah. It was 2015 at that point. And they're like, so you're still doing that? Where are you docked? Jim's like, where are you docked, Lady Di? She's like, I don't know.

I don't know exactly where I'm docked. It's somewhere in the United States. We're in the United States. Oh, so you're just sailing around the United States in a military vessel, are you? Yeah, yeah, that's what we're doing right here. What's everybody talking about? And she's like talking to the other people in the insane asylum as it's happening. And they're like, can you

ask her where you are? And she's like, where are we? Where we docked? Where we docked? And then some nurse is just like, we're in New York. They're like, we're docked outside of New York. We're docked outside of New York right now. Like Jim and Opie are playing into it like well I mean it's not easy

it's hard work being in the Navy and she's like oh yeah oh yeah it's hard work being in the Navy and she got fired from working at Budweiser in like 2001 oh no she got fired in like 2001 and they were like

so everything just left the job right into the military. And she's like, well, no, I still work at Budweiser. I still work at Budweiser. It's like, oh, really? I thought you lost that job in 2001. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I never lost that job.

I never lost that job i never lost that job it is that interview in and of itself is actually pretty sad because you're watching someone yeah who's lost their mind but if you're an ona buff and you watch the 15 years of her being an appearance there are clips of her from 2003 being like i've been out of work for two years so i'm gonna be fine i'm gonna be fine and she didn't end up being fine no lots of Lots of funny content came out of it, though. I feel bad for her son. You know, she would often, or no, they would always make fun. They would play a train soundboard clips because her first husband killed himself by jumping in front of a train.

Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. It was a real knee slapper every time they'd play that train. Why are you doing that? It happened so many years ago. Why are you playing that? Oh, she'd cry and cry. It was a real knee slapper every time they'd play that train horn. It happened so many years ago. She'd cry and cry. I think in LA we had local people.

After Stern, I'd go to Tom Likas or Heidi Frosty and Frank. They were so big out here. We had radios when I was learning how to drive. So I got sucked into all those. Oh yeah.

I never listened to any of them. There was a really cool morning radio thing in Atlanta when I was, when I was out here selling cars in like 2005, 2006. But I want to say they like got bought by a major market and like, like, like LA bought them or I don't know. Somebody else bought them and bought their show. They got wiped out. All of talk radio.

It seemed like all of talk radio across the country got wiped out at the same time. Bought out and then dismantled like Roger Rabbit. It was a cool show. There was a guy, a girl girl and then kind of a loser and the loser they would send out on the streets to do things called torture tuesday where he would have to do like humiliating public like like you have to panhandle and he couldn't stop until he had 50 or something like that like like or he'd have to ride he'd have to get on top of a car and drive around i-285 in atlanta and you know honk if you see ben if benji

he'll be on the roof of a hyundai he's strapped down uh and and then like i want to say that like nearly as brutal as the o and a things they would have like go find lady die by the train tracks in newark and they would try and go find her and there was that video I linked you 33 minutes in out of nowhere she's not even being questioned I have something to tell you guys in the 80s I let my boyfriend fuck me

in the ass every weekend in a car like what like the entire 80s she's like yeah in the 80s he let me stay with him and so I let him use me in the ass every weekend in a car and I'm like always in the car he's like yeah it was usually in the car really so you just

do that all the time yeah yeah well it was the 80s and so she got fucked and they were like why would you bring this up I just wanted you guys to know that I got fucked in the ass in the 80s the entire 80s. The entire 80s.

The entirety of the 80s. All of Metallica's rise and fall. She was getting fucked in the ass. The entire Reagan administration is right up the ass. I want a warm hole for all coming cocks. Oh, speaking of Reagan, are you gonna play this uh cod zombies game have you seen the trailer for it i did watch the trailer looks pretty fun i'll give it a go yeah it looks cool um i'm definitely down is reagan in it yeah zombies i know he's like oh but like is he like um who was the big guy with the electricity and the icy one?

Oh, no. Reagan's not like a character you can play, I don't think. I don't think. I bet he will be a DLC. Because remember, just this last time, they had all the presidents as playable. Like, you can play as JFK and Nixon. Who was the scary guy? Taylor, you're going to have George Romero. George Romero.

You did. That's amazing. Anyway, I want Reagan to be like george romero like character oh i forgot where you're hiding oh nancy too nancy too sad game this is fun she secretly runs everything makes all the decisions oh i'm told that i don't know i always thought thought it was the VP, but they say it was the wife. Yeah, they said Nancy was running the country there for a couple years.

Probably. I'm excited for the game. It looks slick. I'm looking forward to seeing what it's going to look like on my PC, but it looks really slick on that. I think that was PlayStation footage that they made the trailer out of. Look good. Look really good. Zombies does look fun. I think it was PlayStation footage that they made the trailer out of. Looked good.

Looked really good. Zombies does look fun. I mean, you can't tell that much from the trailer, obviously, but I'm going to give it a go. Yeah, I always do. I'm looking forward to it. I'll play it with you, son. Nice.

I'm all fall guys. Dick, have you even played? I know you're all fall guys, and I'm on your side with that. I'm all fall guys, man. That's all I can do. God, I feel like I just got to. Among Us for you? You haven't played

no no i've been hearing about it though some kind of um i've heard somebody's sus on your spaceship and you gotta throw them at this place do you want to play with us i would play with us yeah yeah yeah i'm looking to play games all the time sure kyle and woody and also that'll be a good time let's do some very mean spirited it's a good time oh i like that uh i used to play a lot of worms yeah that was a very mean spirited game basically there's like there's like 10 people staggering around a spaceship doing these ridiculously stupid tasks they're just time killers and uh two of you are murderers in disguise no one else can kill or enter or do anything like that but they can secretly like come up behind you fucking kill you and uh whenever you discover a bot whenever the rest of the crew

discovers the dead body you had this meeting where the game is paused and everybody goes to this little conference room and you start talking about who you think did it you're like ah well i was with taylor the whole time it couldn't be taylor and taylor's like well you did leave for a minute i don't know maybe maybe maybe not and then somebody's like, well, you did leave for a minute. I don't know. Maybe, maybe, maybe not. And then somebody's like, well, I saw Woody heading toward where you found the body. And it's in my group every now and then they'll just be like, let's just vote off the black guy. Because everybody's like werewolves or mafia, whatever that game, that card game is exactly yeah yeah that's a fun game it's the exact same thing and it's just people down berating one another and so often

it'll be like both imposters are waiting in the wings this happened the other evening where woody was like i saw taylor acting suspiciously and i was like fuck you woody you know you didn't see me acting suspiciously go fuck yourself it's woody no it's taylor like fuck you woody you know you didn't see me acting suspiciously go fuck yourself it's woody no it's taylor no it's woody and meanwhile neither one of us are the guy and we're just creating a distraction for the people that it is and it is yes that's funny what happened with that so i guess your vision only goes like a couple feet so i thought i saw taylor go into event and leave taylor knowing that he didn't go into a vent and leave knows that i'm lying i'm not lying i'm wrong but i'm good

heartedly wrong right you know so he's positive that i'm the imposter i'm yeah pretty sure he's the imposter but i was wrong and the imposters are like this is great. Going into vents is something that only the imposter can do to like make a short, they can like shortcut around the spaceship so that like they can kill someone here and quickly zip across the whole ship so that they're, they're, they're away from the body. So we were playing the other day, we were playing the other day and I just wanted to be an asshole.

And I just, I call an emergency meeting and I'm like, Tom just vented. I saw him. Not only did Tom not vent, but I haven't even seen him this game. I'm just lying for no reason at all. I'm not the imposter either. I'm just fucking with Tom.

His own team. I'm just like, saw Tom vent. He's the imposter. Get him. And everybody's like, everybody votes. And he goes, he goes, what the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? He's the imposter. Get him. And everybody's like, everybody votes. He goes, what the fuck are you talking about?

He was the imposter. It was him. It goes, victory. And I'm just like, Nailed it. Wow. This sounds like my kind of game. Lying. You should play with us. I'll be out of town this weekend.

Is it PS4? Say it again, Dick. lying you should play with us i'll be out of town this weekend but uh is it uh say it again dick ps4 what's it on pc low repeat any pc i'll play it and i think it's really cheap is it four dollars six dollars something four or five dollars you can even play it on your phone if you've got a you know you can do you can play anywhere and dick if you're not confident with like wazd and working with the mouse and keyboard playing it's like i'm in the same boat but this is so easy it's literally like run around and then hold the left click button to finish your fill the gas can by holding left click on the gas can fill icon like it literally is i know how to play video games taylor i icon. I know how to play video games,

Taylor. I do. I remember how to play video games on a computer. I was a loser too. Physically disabled or mentally retarded? This is perfect. You're going to be fine. Hold down left. Okay. Got it. Thank you.

Hey everyone, Taylor's the imposter. i saw him in the vent every fucking time you know what i'm not playing with you because i'm tired of this i'm tired of being called the imposter every time it's pretty fun to kill taylor early he gets real salty so every time i'm the imposter i'm like looking for taylor you're gonna have to it's fucking infuriating because you're not streaming last time we played played Kyle's not streaming nobody else is streaming I've got 1500 people watching and I'm dying at the beginning of every

you can't put on a show at all you absolutely can you're still there's no difference between dying and being alive that's what you've got to get through your head there's no difference I'm still making jokes and doing shit your character just changes from a character to a ghost

who's still doing the mundane tasks. I think the tasks are stupid. I don't recall winning once by task ever the entire time I played all night. It's a little rare. It's pretty hard, but I do know. I think it's a waste of time. I think I should go into just chatting.

I was getting so many tasks per minute done because I would get assassinated and killed so early every game. I kept assuming like, all right, I can do these tasks fast enough. You can't because you don't have access to do all the tasks. And so if one motherfucker isn't doing their thing and you're on the sign, the same thing, you're just up shit. We have personal tasks. It's not a shared thing. Yeah, that's what i'm saying oh i thought you can you can go hard in the paint trying to get all your tasks done

and then be like what the fuck the bar is like halfway filled yeah i have nothing to when you're the ghost it's easy to finish all your tasks because nobody kills you and you can go through walls so it it's quickly it's quick to get from one spot to the other um but i kind of feel like it's dumb like why am i blowing leaves into the vent for no reason it's a very this is a very meta game i'll do all my chores when i'm dead and i've been killed by my friend you'll have a good time with a dick you should buy it and play it with us uh sounds good uh the last game i got into was enter the gungeon did you guys play Have you guys played that one? I haven't even heard of that one.

Enter the Gungeon? Yeah, it's overhead. You run around and it's like Smash TV. You run differently than where you're shooting. It's very, very difficult, but you get cooler and cooler guns, a lot of which are like pop reference guns. You can get the ghostbusters pack um you get a gun that's just like shoots chickens but it's all like it looks like adventure time

but it's a very difficult game uh it's fun it's really fun there's only five levels but it's impossible i haven't played it yet but left for dead got updated i think it's out and that's that's a big deal to me i like that game nobody. Nobody. Just me. Okay, that's fine. I'll play Left 4 Dead with you. I'm always looking for stuff to play on. I'll play it, but I don't like it. I'll be helpful. I'll play with you.

It's cool. I'm in. You know who's good at Left 4 Dead? My son. We could get him in the party. Perfect. Get him in the mix. I him in the mix i want someone good yeah i want to be able to make jokes and not have any obligations to us succeeding in the game

that's not left for dead my nephews are my one little nephew is like a Smash Brothers prodigy. It's so humiliating to get your ass kicked by a five-year-old. What Smash game are you playing? The new one. Whatever is on the Switch right now. But every time I come over... And which one are you playing?

He plays as one of the Miis. One of the cheap-ass me's that spams bombs or he plays as Rob, another equally cheap ass. Your nephew is a bitch. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I know. But, you know, he hasn't he's not old enough to understand that he is a bitch. So he just kicks my ass every time. And I am the bitch. And you're playing as whoever. Yeah, whoever. i'll try because the worst thing the thing that i can't admit is that if i try and i still lose the humiliation will be immeasurable so i do random as like a cop out so that if i lose i can say well you know i

don't know understand how to play as rosalina see what you need to do pick a heavy character like bowser or dk all you need to know with dk is when he drops in hit b and he'll start going like this and he charges his arm up and then you just hit b and you can knock people out bowser you don't have to know what the fuck you're doing because every time bowser hits you even randomly it's a bunch of percent of damage and he's heavy if i lose trying then i'm done then i might as well just stop playing video games he has no idea whether or not you're trying you can just play it up you think he's got your your nonsense down to a t already i don't think so the other one does his older brother does no the worst thing is he's

also such a good sport like we were going head to head-to-head, a five-round head-to-head. We were doing a five-round head-to-head. I beat him by, like, one hit at the end and just threw my hand because my whole family's watching. I threw my hand. I'm like, yes, and turned around, and he goes, good game. Like, oh, good job. I'm like, man, are you fucking happy for my win?

You should be devastated by this. You lost. Somebody tell this. You lost. Somebody tell him. You ruined your win by being a gracious winner. Yeah, man. I was panicked. I was sweating. That was traumatic for me.

Fuck you. He's fine. He's your family. That game rocks. I know Woody and Kyle have no interest in playing Super Smash, but Super Smash is a ton of fun. It really is. It's a blast.

And it's a game. I am positive. I would destroy both of you. Super Smash Brothers? You'd probably win. What platform is it on? Any of them. Pick one. PC.

GameCube. Any of them. I was hoping I had it on GameCube. You did take your battle. GameCube. Any outros? We are good to go. Dick, anything you want our listeners to know about

uh thanks for having me guys patreon.com slash the dick show dick dot show um i don't think so no i don't i can't remember what i have going on right now honestly i'm trying to find a venue and just literally any place that will let me and a bunch of fans go make each other sick. Cause I, I gotta, if I stay in this house for another month, I'm going to go insane. That's all. That's all I have going on,

but thanks guys. We'll follow Dick. Florida. Maybe. I think actually Florida said they were going to lift all restrictions and all like capacity restrictions and everything. So maybe they did. And all of these pussy venues are saying they're still playing.

It's safe. Oh my God. Come on, man. Somebody we're going to, we're going to do like a, um, I think me and a bunch of guys are going to go out into public land and do,

uh, like a mini burning man and see if we can, uh, that sounds like a great idea. Yeah. Kyle, it does sound like a bunch of guns doing donuts and fire and camping on the public land yes yeah yeah that should be good we'll bring boogie we'll have a big shoot off you know we'll have a quick drop get boogie out dress him up as yosemite sam for me and give him an extra pistol

but you can get meme photos of that already it's out there he's got to get like a golden gun he's got to get that gun bronzed or something so he this is his anti-frank hassle gun this is my anti-hassling gun that i pull out last minute i wish it was i wish it was already iconic right like like you know red white and blue gun and he could pull it out he had a golden desert eagle or something. If he'd have had one of those guns that shot and a flag came out and said bang,

that would have been... That was the only way to win that. That was the only move to win the... I'm going to fire a warning shot. I'm going to fire a warning. Do it, pussy! What if he came out with a paintball gun and he just lit that guy up though that would have been pretty good too that would have been good

just get him to flinch I like how he says hassle doctrine means I get to take you inside and fuck you fuck you alright thanks guys don't get sissy hypnotized whatever you do don't tell me what to do PKA 511