Painkiller Already - PKA 512 - 2020 Season Finale, Pixar Mom Dump Truck Butts, NBA Finals

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

pka 512 we had a big guest i think i only know his first name but he ghosted us at the last second so it's just the boys yeah that's okay though we were talking about fears actually we're talking about sleep studies real quick before the sleep study though this episode of pk is brought to you by the national highway traffic safety administration blue chew and square space we'll learn more about them later but yes kyle we were talking about things you don't want to find in the woods yeah really we're talking about like how our brains work when we're sleeping, right? Like I was, Woody was saying how he sleeps poorly when he's in his camper because there's not that sort of sense of security. And I was like, I wouldn't sleep well if I left the front

door of my home unlocked. You know, I don't live in a dangerous neighborhood, but my brain would just be like, oh, we're vulnerable sleep lightly you know it would be poor sleep and what he was like yeah i'll be out there and i'll you'll just hear something in the woods break a stick what do you want that to be you know like you want it to be a deer or a big rabbit big rabbit sounds a little scary a little grab it big enough to break like a two inch fucking toy like stick yeah okay back to the 85 pound fucking hopper a deer is a really good choice i didn't think of it kangaroo talons the place i was staying in kentucky was known for some sort of mountain lion right it forgive me if i have my cougars and mountain lions and bop or whatever

mixed up but so cougars and mountain lions are the same thing and then there's uh and then there's um uh and pumas as well they're all pretty much the same fucking thing but uh but um and then there's bobcats and bobcats are like the size of a small dog but you wouldn't want to fuck with one they're like the same size as the lynx yeah it's big enough to really cause some issues like 25 30 pounds i think they kept calling them mountain lions that were in this area that will kill a man yeah so will a man right that's where my head was i'm like something broke a stick out there the stick didn't break on its own i don't have a lot of good choices it could be the muffin man that's what i was finding interesting about our conversation like what would you want it to be and you were kind of saying the mountain

lion might be the worst case scenario and i was like no the worst case scenario is a person because there's nothing scarier than a person in my opinion like a person who wants to do you harm yeah is the scariest animal because forget bears and lions and tigers any of that shit i mean a loud pop will scare him away a gunshot will scare him away you know like like just clapping your hands a lot of the times that's what people do right when they can't like they can't hold grudges or drive sometimes they do hold grudges actually but but but they're probably not gonna hold a grudge against the camper. But if you make it out of it. They're definitely not going to drive.

I'm with you on that one. Yeah. I'm saying that if you piss a man off in the woods and you escape, you might have seen my license plate. I don't know what this guy's set of skills is. You escape from a cougar. That's the extent of its vengeance. Actually, there is that story of the man who shot the tiger and wounded it. of the man who shot the tiger and wounded it, and then the tiger

stalked him back to his cabin miles away, waited for him overnight, and then murdered him the next day. Is that a true story? That's a true story. I can get you a link if you want. The tiger mad at him? The tiger was literally mad at him. And he didn't finish

the job? He just plugged him once? Yeah. A tiger is rough. It's on Reddit all the time. I a tiger is rough it's on reddit all the time like i've read the story all the time it's like an article it's not like like a green text i was staying in a tent and and this was a place like deep into the woods there's no facilities or anything i should be the only one there and i picked it deep in the woods because like for that reason kind of like oh this is an untrafficked area no one will be around and i heard two men talking and it's like why are there two men here you know it if there's one guy you might convince yourself like oh you know i'm tough

enough guy like i've got a chance two guys you have to be something special to think that you can you know to handle two guys at once. Yeah. I hope they're like little twinks. And like, I think I could take two little dudes, like two, like two,

like micro men, like, no, I'm not talking about midgets. Like, I think I can take, I think I can take a micro man, like a little micro man is like literally five foot three,

five foot four. And like a twink, like rail thin, no muscle on his on him you could i can take two of those yeah you definitely but two grown men like two hillbillies like two farmer strong hillbillies they're gonna be raping you before you can finish your sentence oh god uh do i have to squeal really oh i'll know that's a dirty stereotype don't produce a little bit of homemade like lubricant i will squeal so loud the homemade lubricant comes at the end that's the unfortunate part of all

or in the or in the middle there are two of them that touche yeah um so that was actually i've told this before that's why i got my first gun i would camp by myself and just that feeling of it's not insecurity is it being unsecure i'm not sure but in any case um yeah that feeling of being alone at night in the woods not sure what's breaking sticks or the two men talking it was like i would really like to have a pistol here with me. Yeah. On our survival trip. I remember one night.

So sound carries really far in the woods at night. And, uh, and I remember one night we could hear some people like hanging out and literally what you've described one night. I remember like way off in the direction of like where the cars were, you know, generally speaking, we could hear like voices like talking and stuff. And it was like, I'm glad we all, I'm glad we have like way too many guns here.

Yeah. Way too many guns. All these guns are nothing to shoot. Dude. Yeah. Your hammock's not going to protect you from anything. No. Like Woody's got like,

Woody's got an eight 70 and I had like an-style.22 rifle with 30 rounds in the magazine. I'm like, we'll be all right. Unless there's 30 or 40 of them, I think we got this. Right? Yeah. I would hate to hear a little rustling. You're laying there in your little sleeping bag. You hear a little rustling.

You're laying there in your little sleeping bag. Then you just hear somebody like 10 feet behind you like, you breathe real loud when you sleep. Maybe you ought to have a sleep study, boy. Now, my cousin uses what's called a CPAP. Now, he actually got the Amazon Basics

version. Yeah, it works exactly as good as the other. I want i want you to get a sleep do you have anything that does a sleep study like apple watch or like something i don't know if it's do it nowadays i i don't know nothing i can just slap on my wrist oh don't you have your uh like heart monitor from the fitness thing i threw that away that was trash i threw mine away too. I got rid of mine, but not because it was trash, because I never want to use it again ever. That was it. I looked at it and I was like, scooch.

I threw that $300. I've danced my last. Never again. I used some gamer words. I called it the F word. You piece of shit. I threw that right in the trash. I was happy.

Remember how long it took me to get one working like they sent me one and we had to literally delay the contest because i was like i'm running it says it's on and it just it didn't record anything and it took like three weeks to say i was wondering i was wondering after a while i was like maybe taylor's just not good with technology maybe he's like one of those women who can't figure out how to DVD player works. One without a hitch works immediately. Easy peasy. But yeah, those things suck.

And also like it never felt like you were exercising. It felt like you were just getting points, you know, like if you started exerting yourself too hard, you're like, Oh, we're not trying to work out here we're trying to you get into the red and you're like i can't maintain this it's like i think i can hold yellow forever maybe not red you know like yeah yeah you figure out you're like oh i can watch 10 episodes of king of hill in the row and then just stay in yellow and then i'd be at like the top of the yellow like whoa that's just dumb you don't want to be top of the yellow whatever range you're in you'd be at like the top of the yellow. Like, whoa, that's just dumb.

You don't want to be top of the yellow. Whatever range you're in, you should be at the bottom of it. And it's still counting the calories exactly the same the whole time. After it's like, yeah, I need two pizzas. Yeah, that was silly. I don't even think Joe Rogan uses that method anymore for his competitions, does he? I don't think they do those competitions like that anymore. i think they didn't use that for when they did it they're doing sober rock he is doing sober october i saw him announce that but i i think literally all the other guys

were like fuck you like like no no we're not doing kind of see what they're like oh okay sober october that's where i torture myself for Joe's content. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You know what? Never mind. It's a guaranteed appearance on the Joe Rogan show, though. And they're all like comedians and stuff. Doesn't matter how many times you're on the Joe Rogan show. That helps. They were all like, it's 2020, Joe. We're drinking. We're going to get fucked up. Oh, I just put together 2020 the the bad year meme kind of thing yeah yeah

wait till 2021 it's gonna get wild oh god i hope so we'll see i hope i hope things just go off the fucking rails let's go man what if there's zombies next year and we're like man 2020 wasn't so bad if there's zombies next year like seven years after the whole zombie preparedness trend ended fuck like i don't think i have my werewolf zombie something else stick anymore that you gave me what was the other thing vampire yeah vampires it was a you know it's the vampire steak with the silver bullets inside of it so you have three in one it was yeah three in one it's like my shampoos rucky getting stuff done i wonder what the i'm gonna google what is the most in one shampoo i've had five five in one oh my god what are the five things shampoo conditioner body wash deodorant moisturizer moisturizer that's probably some bullshit

when they threw in there and i can't imagine what a fifth thing could be what else does it do nothing a five bug repellent bug repellent swap eight in one now with deet you know you don't smell like a camping trip without any of the fun. You're going to smell like Deet. A 12-in-1 shampoo? What? It's weird how smells work.

We started talking about Deet, and I could smell it. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that smell. I remember lathering that shit all over myself. I'm going to remind you of this smell, honestly. It's not that bad. It's not that bad, but it's just a very particular smell that you don't forget. Smells are like that anyway.

Anything no factory. There's something about that part of your brain. It hangs on to that memory. You'll forget faces after maybe four years uh they'll be looking a little fuzzy especially after 10 years they get real fuzzy but i don't know i if if if i'm thinking back to that strawberry birthday cake i had when i was seven years old i don't remember who was there i barely remember what the yard looked like but i know what it fucking smelled like oh yeah i can i can smell chucky cheese pizza when i think about it just the way chucky cheese smelled as a little kid sitting there and just

like having to deal with the one mom of the birthday kid being like we're all gonna watch trevor open his presents and watch these animatrons that are vaguely frightening dance on the dance on the stage and the whole time it's just like you do you think we get to hang out here forever bitch like i've got tokens i've got stuff to do i got some some other little bastards gonna take that jurassic park game and we all know that's the best one because it rocks up and down yeah i've never been to chucky cheese oh that sucks yeah i didn't get to go i get my parents didn't do a lot of those like uh like standard like childhood fun things for me like i had i had we didn't go on a lot of vacations either.

Like we went to the beach maybe two or three times. We'd go up to like Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, which is like the mountains of Tennessee where they have some amusement parks, you know, two or three times. And then Six Flags two or three times. And that's like every vacation I'd ever been on. My parent, my father loves vacations.

And I'm sort of evolving into him now. I told Jackie like, baby, and you guys too, buckle up. I get sad every winter. We are going to go recharge our batteries this time. We're going to Israel. The Holy Land. I'm searching for paragliding trips in Columbia, picking out my favorite tour guides right now.

I'm scheduling trips to Floridaida you know wrapping up friends and stuff um i i've talked about this on my life columbia yes apparently the cocaine capital of the earth well somewhere else would i go but um so kyle went to prison i try not to say that like like we're gonna put it as a secret it's gonna people are gonna forget kyle so i but anyway uh while kyle was gone the show was okay like when they double booked the guests and we did okay then kyle came back he had all new material and stuff and i was like maybe it's okay to miss a show every once in a while i rarely miss a show i missed one in like is it one in five years something like that something like that and um uh i don't know i had this fright that like the show would be better while i was gone and i wouldn't be invited back

somehow like i'd get kicked off if i missed a week is that an option i i uh you know like i don't know like i just never missed a show i always do it it has to be done you know be reliable and then um it's like oh actually the show can not only survive missing a week or so by the host but it can maybe even get a little freshen up you know go to columbia live life change your pace you know like uh drug dealing stories as you're sprinting with a lot of energy out of the compound remember when wings thought that his odds of surviving the survival trip were like 75 or something like that yeah and i was like so you're saying there's a 25

chance that if you go camping in north carolina you will die and he's like yeah absolutely all jokes aside like that was retarded but but you go into Colombia, there is a 5-7.5% chance that you do not come back. I'm hearing, Woody, you got a good 20 trips in you. Yeah. Just like your dad.

If you're lucky, 12 of them can be to Israel. Taylor, would you go to Colombia if you were a millionaire man who's who's mildly famous on the internet no no why not because there are there are a dozen countries i can think of i'd rather go no but why specifically do you think colombia might be a bad idea because it's scary you might get kidnapped and killed kidnapped that's what happened in mexico the place so mexico valladolid for the one percent of you that fly para stuff um it was well known as a really good place for paragliders to go flying but then

the gang that controlled that area was replaced by a different gang that of course is more powerful than the police and they realized that the pilots and tourists that come around had more money than the local Mexicans that they were kidnapping previously. So they started going after tourists and such. And most of the paragliding tour groups that I know of shifted from Mexico to Colombia, where I guess the kidnapping business is still in its beginning stages. All right. Is there a good place in Canada? Taylor? No, I'm trying to stay big.

I'm trying to stave off the winter blues. Like that's part of my goal. Some more trips to Florida this year. Some Columbia trips. I don't know where else. I'll go to New Zealand if I need to. But I want to do something this winter that gives me a couple little like recharge points. Do New Zealand.

That would be so sick. That's just America West or East. Is New Zealand really that big a difference than America? I've never been. I've seen pictures though, so I know. Looks pretty cool.

You're not going to get kidnapped in New Zealand. There's like 40 people there. No, no way no content comes out of a New Zealand vacation. All right. I see you. Well, lots of flight content. If I were going on an exotic vacation, I'm thinking maybe Alaska. That way you stay within the United States.

But you're halfway across the fucking world. Cold environment. It's enormous, right? It's the third to size. I the third you guys aren't getting what seasonal effect disorder is like you know like you're not getting sun you're kind of indoors cooped up it's the happiest time of the year bummed down and kyle's like have you considered alaska there's no sun whatsoever this in the winter in alaska and okay beautiful. Okay, okay. I get it. I see you're happy.

No, I want to, you know, like that me jumping in the pool, I emerge happy. I land happy. And then in the winter when the sun goes down at five and like, I want to recharge a little bit this year. We'll see how COVID goes. I want to get a part-time job as a crab fisherman. Oh, that might be even more dangerous than paramotoring. No, come on. They have a reality show about it, and almost no one has ever died.

But has someone died on that show ever? I think so. Not one of the – I could be wrong about this, but I don't think any of the people who were part of the show died, but definitely there was an episode where they informed the captain that one of his friends boat has sunk with all hands going down there. He's just like, fuck Dave's dead. And he's just sitting there smoking a cigarette, like teary eyed, like realizing like his buddy's fucking dead you know 50 miles away on the ocean somewhere and he's got crab to catch 52 miles because it's deep oh okay okay okay yeah

um important distinction i was telling jokes but just to add to the handful of people have died from non-crabby activities they tend to be smokers and drinkers and drug users. And that has killed a bunch of them. They're all very unhealthy. What were you saying, Taylor? Oh, I was saying that made me think. I was like, oh, I should look up a list of reality TV deaths on the show. And I don't know what I was expecting, but this entire list is my 600-pound life.

Well, I mean, eight out of ten of these are that's and then a lot of overdoses that's saying a lot because there are some crazy fucking reality shows i wonder how many biggest losers stayed thin i think it's a pretty small percentage wasn't a big thing with that show and i think i've watched like two episodes ever but they'd be like we've only got you for a month when you need to lose all the weight and it's like you know here's a like half a cup of carrots per day and then like when they set them back out into the world they don't like know how to take care of themselves it's just like i'd straight back to it isn't there excuse me like a checkup where they come back and like it's part of who wins who's thinner a month or two oh maybe like the where are they now episode yeah i want to say the last episode so of course they film it

then they wait like 12 weeks then they film the last episode and that way and has great importance am i wrong isn't that i don't know i it may be the show i don't know i don't watch it either but i feel like i've seen a few of them. Dude, this chick won a quarter of a million dollars for losing 264 pounds. Well, you couldn't do it. That's true. Give me a year. No, scratch that. Four months.

And I will put on enough that I can then lose 200 pounds. You would have to. I don't believe you. I'm on the honey diet. It's only honey. They're like, stop this. Can you imagine

your shits if you were on a 100% honey diet? I don't even know. It's going out like it's coming in. What if it was crystallizing inside of you and you were just pooping like, like, you know, those, uh, those ring pops? Yeah. You're just pooping crystals.

Yeah, like it's just fucking rock candies. Just delicious. Sounds like you drop a bunch of pennies on a tile floor every time you take a shit. They're just jingle jangling into the toilet. And they still taste great. Oh, they would. They shit. They're just jingle jangling into the toilet. And they still taste great. Oh, they would. They would. They probably would.

Oh, we were going to talk about that Michigan thing. Yes. And so Michigan governor was, there was an attempted kidnapping. I want you guys to explain this to me as if I have no idea. Would you like me to explain it? Having no idea. Or would you like Woody to explain it while having all the text in front of him? I would like you to explain it initially and Woody let him get through it.

So I believe that there were like six to eight right-wing militiamen who were going to kidnap what's probably a female governor of a northern state, which might minnesota or wisconsin i don't know and uh the fbi foiled that plot kyle did great the only change that of substance is the female governors from michigan and instead of minnesota but that's pretty much on target um and did kyle mention they wanted to start a civil war as well? Of course they do. They always do. Right wing militia. Let's go. And they failed. So the FBI.

Let's go do it again. When did the FBI catch them? Like what were they? Was it before anything had kicked off? Yeah, they were plotting. It's funny you mention that because my Facebook feed is pro alt wing kidnapping Michigan governors. Surprisingly, they said, am i to read this correctly they're blaming them for just conspiring to kidnap that's it they didn't actually

kidnap her yet what's the problem here has not conspired to kidnap a public figure i was just like like so one conspiring to do this sort of thing is a charge that people go away for like that that's a real thing conspiracy but i want to be like dude imagine it was six muslims who were planning to kidnap a governor and you know start a war or whatever same energy right just because it's an alt-right militia group doesn't make it okay that you want to cut on some slack. Do they know what group of people did it? Or just some cell somewhere? I don't remember a name.

I don't know if this... I'm scanning the article now to see if they... So some FBI guy infiltrated them like a spy. I seriously doubt that. Oh, come on, man. That's a way to think about it.

There's no way that's what happened. What do you mean? There's no way that's what happened. They do that. They do. They don't do that. I guess they do. It's called going undercover.

You've watched films. I've watched action movies where that sort of thing happens. I've watched action movies where giant robots try to take over the planet, too. What does it not say before those movies? It does not say based on a true story. No, it doesn't say that because it's called Transformers and it's a Michael Bay film. I'm not talking about that. All right.

Would you like to hear how it went down? I would like to make up how it went down and to see if I'm correct. I'd like to mine. I bet these goofballs were conspiring about it online and and so and and that came to the attention of some agency, federal agency, and then they just all got rounded up. Kyle doesn't even need news. He's so good at predicting the news. So let me read a bit to this the fbi said in an affidavit that had become aware people were discussing an overthrow of the government from social media postings in early 2020 in june two of those ultimately charged met with more than a dozen others in ohio to discuss creating a society that followed the

u.s bill of Rights where they could be self-sufficient, right? Creating their own little self-sufficient society, not American. In that meeting, the FBI alleged the group discussed both peaceful and violent tactics and ultimately decided they need to increase their numbers. One in the group, Adam Fox, then contacted the local militia group the FBI had already been monitoring with a confidential informant over concern that it was plotting to kill police officers. They and others continued to meet through June, including at a second amendment rally.

There was a phone call where they talked of needing 200 men to storm the Capitol building and take hostages, including the governor. And they would, then they would try the governor for treason before the election in November. The group tried to evade detection at one point meeting in the basement of a Then they would try the governor for treason before the election in November. The group tried to evade detection at one point meeting in the basement of a shop that was only accessible through a trap door that was hidden under a rug. Very cool.

And you were talking about this like it wasn't like a movie. There's a trap door. There's an inside informant. Who was more right about this one? That is not an agent weaseling. They wouldn't tell you if it was. An informant nonetheless wore a wire and recorded them, according to the affidavit. Fucking rat.

Yeah, there was a rat involved. A snitch. That is the dumbest, larpiest thing I've ever heard. 6ix9ine was in this group and he stitched on that no no one likes rap jokes nah fuck trick me a second i don't know i don't know the rap community and they're like guba or goomba whatever wait but hold on i want to talk about i don't listen to that thing i want to talk about their plan so they're going to storm the governor's mansion with 200 people and then hold a trial and and just the government the whole time's gonna be like they had a good plan you know let them carry like that is imagine if that government's gonna

be like well they are group of law and order at least they're trying her for treason you know what this is just the most extreme version of pretending to be a wizard in the woods playing with foam swords like the most this is the most intense version of LARPing. You could have said the same thing about George Washington and his merry band of insurgents as well. Becks. You know what? I'm wrong.

I don't want to hear your anti-American propaganda, Taylor. I was just happy to hear that, as I anticipated, there was an FBI agent informant. We all know it was FBI. There was not an FBI agent informant. That is not what he said. He said there was a CI, which is a fucking rat that they caught doing something else and forced to rat on his friends. That's what they say to keep the guy safe

for the next mission. Oh, he's right. It did say CI. I read confidential informant and translated it to like, I don't know. Embedded FBI code. It would be sent in our cunty intern. CIA's code for blackmailing a guy

who got caught with half an ounce of marijuana. God, I wish I'd known something. Now I gotta hang out with all these kooks? No, yeah, man. Just 60 more of us and we'll take down the governor's mansion. Are you gonna get him before I have to go? I don't want to storm the governor's mansion. No, I'm still parking.

We need you to storm the mansion, Kyle. Are you sure I'm not going to get in any more trouble over this? No, no. Do whatever you have to do. All right. You're dropping off your fellow militia members like, ah, $15 for parking. I'll go for free down the street. Don't wait up.

Your honor, we thought he was on our side and he armed all of them. He armed all of them. Can you imagine if that had happened and we were watching? That's the purest form of 2020. If there's a trial

being held by militiamen of a sitting governor being live streamed across the internet can you imagine that dude that would be the kangaroo court fucking like holy shit that would have been cool that would be the biggest story of all time for like some cell somewhere to get in storm the governor's mansion and then hold some weird court where they wear like what i imagine like scary movie masks the whole time you ever seen escape from la with uh kurt russell yes at the end of the skin right yes nick plissken

at the end of the movie they um they sentence him to this like execution slash game that they have there where you get on a basketball court like a full-size basketball court and um you have to make i i don't remember if it full-size basketball court, and you have to make, I don't remember if it's four shots or five shots that you have to make, and a buzzer goes off like every 10 seconds. And if the buzzer goes off before you can make your next shot, they shoot you. They're outside the court with guns. The thing is you have to shoot from opposing goals. So you have to like make a layup and then run and quickly make a three pointer on the other side and then run back,

make another three pointer and then run back and make another three pointer essentially to like get this done. Well, at the end of it, snake like gets to half court and like, or maybe even full court and, and, and like,

and sinks. And he did it for real without CGI. It's pretty crazy. Um, imagine if they did that to the governor of Minnesota. It's way too hard of a challenge. If you had a prison of 2,000 guys and you started at like 7 a.m., by noon you're going to have no one. It's prison, Taylor.

One in five can do that. One in five? Are those the numbers? Yeah. Yeah, I i don't know i don't know about that it seems like a i i get it i know you do it's just funny if i keep yeah you don't understand let me break this down the ankles are the achilles tendon of uh what was it some of the greek the greek yeah we have a whole jimmy the greek moment where you two start look he's just there by himself like what they are faster dude there's a there's an nba player i'm pretty sure it's an nba player it's it's fairly recent like in the last year or two he tore his acl and then came back quickly and he's bawling he's doing great and his dad is like my son is

such a super athlete he has an extra ligament in his knee and there's this doctor on youtube who like does stuff like this and he's like yeah some people have an extra ligament that would be a solidify or stabilizing on the knee. Dude had extra ligament. Jimmy, Jimmy, the Greek was right about this guy. You know what? Let's get, let's get Jimmy the Greek. Let's, let's get him back in the mix.

Is he dead? I'm pretty sure he had, he met like an untimely end, like suicide or drugs or something. Do you guys remember Marv Albert? 25 years too late. Marv Albert. He's the sportscaster who bit that woman right yes as a kid right as a as an impressionable young man at 15 or so i was like what he bit her that's horrible as an older guy i'm like you know i was really kind of

judgy back in yeah i mean who hasn't bitten a woman from time to time yeah it's all a woman who's just been bitten twice nothing you told her twice already is that where we're going yeah so the old the old joke reformatted or i guess how old is this story some 30 years oh wow yeah i've forgotten some of the details. Was it consensual biting? No, I think he had some sort of... Dude, I was five. I don't know.

You probably weren't born. Let me make it up. Put it that way. I'm going to say he was having some sort of affair with a co-worker, and it was some non-consensual biting and she reported it well on wikipedia this will show sexual assault all right i don't like being bitten albert became embroiled in a sexual assault scandal in 1997 the 42 year old woman accused albert of throwing her onto a bed biting her and then forcing her to perform oral sex.

Oh, this is worse than I remembered. DNA testing linked them, taken from the bite marks and from the semen. Okay. Yikes. During the trial, testimony was presented from another woman who told the jury that Albert had bitten her on different occasions in 93 and 94 in Miami and Dallas that she viewed as unwanted sexual advances. Madsen claimed that in Dallas, he called her to his hotel room to help him send a fax, only to find him wearing white panties and a garter belt. Albert maintained that Per Hodge had requested that he bite her and denied her accusation that he had asked to bring another man into their sexual affair good gracious he described the recorded conversation of hers with

police on the night of the incident as an academy award performance after tests proved that the bite marks were his he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery while the sodomy charge was dropped people have sodomy all wrong by the way sodomy also means oral what does it mean any number of things it's it's anything other than vaginal sex essentially what other things could it be other than anal and oral and uh and a little bit of armpit fucking right oh belly button belly button anything that doesn't make a baby basically you make her hold her thighs together real tight while she sings the national anthem. That's sodomy.

I think God's cool with that one. Only in Alabama. So wait, what is this guy's name again? I want to get a look at his chompers. Marv Albert. Marv Al. God, I would hate to be Taylor's girlfriend. I bet he takes chunks.

Oh my God, right? It's like dating a crocodile. How do you feel about a little bite? She's like, no, no. My seven fingered girlfriend. You know what? This guy doesn't look like he can bite that hard. You know, Taylor, you might have high standards. Remember when More Pl when more plates more dates came on said captain america was fat right he has a warped perception of what good

bodies are you think regular people can't bite you have a warped perception of like true of people's it's so warped it's like like he lives in this world of like instagram athletes and literally professional bodybuilders and he thinks that like like if you've got a scale of like one to ten one to him is like my 600 pound life ten to him is literally like ronnie coleman and then seven eight and nine are are like people with eight packs like so when you get down to like like uh ch who plays Captain America, he's like, five? Four? Is he a four?

Is Captain America a four? So we're all hanging out at around two. Yeah. He's got Captain America as a four or something like that. Although I did watch his video on Captain America and he's like, look at him. They're having to put that extra tight Under Armour shirt on him to even show any definition. I'm like, you know, he's kind of right. He is kind of right.

Like Captain America looks best when he's in his Captain America uniform. And it's got like fake muscles. When he's just standing there in his Under Armour shirt, he looks like another guy at the gym. A little bit of mass. I'm sorry. A little bit of fat. It can add an attractive mass, right? It can make you a bigger guy.

A really good example is Enrique Cavell. How close did I come with that name? Enrique Cavell. Cavell. Thanks. That guy, like you look at him he's big he's strong he looks great right he's a nine and a half to me a three to derrick yeah exactly um uh but it's like you know he would just be less strong looking if you dried him out um yeah so if i had a scale like

that i think you eliminate the my 106 pound life people and the ronnie coleman's of the world from each end of that spectrum just forget about them they're remove them from your fucking scale and and in that case like a henry cavill is like a fucking eight i think yeah he has visible abs and so. And so the picture gets a lot of attention for it. Excuse me, is when in Superman, he goes to the clothesline scene. Yeah. So I've got that on the screen right now.

He has his six pack. You know, it's not the super rip one that really, but I just think if you took him, let me show you the same picture. Yeah, he's at like 13% body fat there. You think? Yeah. That's really lean.

13? Yeah, probably. I would have guessed a higher number, but I don't know. I'm not that crazy. He's got visible abs. He's fucking big. He's vascular in his arms. You can see, even in this low-quality picture, you can see a bit of striation in his delts.

That's true. That's true. That's true. Striation and delts comes. That's like the first thing you get, I think. But it is. If you if you were to lower his body fat even more, he'd lose a lot in like the pecs and he'd just shrink a touch. Yeah. He's got those like sex lines around his waist.

Those are the best. I remember those. Yeah, he's 13 or 14 percent he's like 10 is so crazy lean like i don't know that's like getting to where it's not even very good for you anymore i would have put him higher i would have called 17 maybe 16 i don't know what the internet will say i wonder if i can google that you can you can get a visual representation of what the percentages are or look like but it's going to be different depending on um uh people's like genetics and their physiques like their muscle inserts is what i was looking for but um you're gonna kind of a vague overview from uh from a google image search i googled henry cavill body fat percentage in

superman and they say five to seven which sounds sounds like the number that he said it was. That's – yeah. Yeah. Those people have no idea what they're talking about. Greg Doucette is like five to seven. He looks like his skin is stretched over him like a goddamn leather seat or something like that. Like it's – It's too much.

Like striations in his chest, like full like abs everywhere. Like it's... It's too much. Like striations in his chest. Like full like abs everywhere. Like there's no fat on him. What do you think AthleanX's is? Because he's got a bunch of those chest striations and he's really skinny. Not skinny, but you know what I mean. Probably eight to ten. Yeah.

Might be lower if you use real weights. Might be. Might be. We'll never know though. Yeah. He's stuck so much... AthleanX that so much how expensive fake weights are you think real weights are expensive oh it's all right wouldn't fake weights be cheaper no because there's less of them being made right yeah you have to have like uh it's it's it's like a specialty item i don't even i've looked at where to buy fake

weights before i was going to make a funny FPS Russia video years and years ago with an enormous amount of weight. Kind of a Chris Cuomo thing. I couldn't even find where to get them. I wanted like a thousand pounds. You can get... Fakeweights.com.

Okay. After an exhaustive search. For $94, you can get a single dumbbell that looks like it weighs 120 pounds, but it actually weighs, why would this not be on the top of its list? Three pounds. Three? That's too light. These are actually really cheap.

It is just foam. It's just real. Oh, if they're, okay, cheap it is just foam it's just the um oh if they're okay if they're just foam these probably these aren't what i consider good fake weights i want 45s to weigh like 10 you know and at least if you put a couple on they have some sort of mass they move a little bit like weights if i were to pick up 100 pounds of foam then you'd quite obviously see that you get your barbell though and go ahead and put like two plates on again like 225 on there and then stack a third foam went on there and you know then you're doing something yeah sure i i just feel like at three

it's too late maybe i'm wrong yeah well two two real on each side and then one fake on each side yeah but i think i just need the fakes to add a little mess right like i don't know that's too light too light it's it's like the chris cuomo weight you know yeah he's handling that it's not moving right he's not straining properly it's got to be a little harder your little tagline on this site is real fun encouragement. What does that mean? How is the fucking like comment subscribe should be their tagline. The name of the fake weights dot coms. First word of their tagline is real. That's bad.

Real fake weight dot com. Real fake weight dot com about fake weights. Oh, what could this passage possibly say? This is way more. Oh, have you considered using these in viral marketing? Exactly. That's where they are used, actually. The only legitimate use, and it happens a lot,

whenever you're seeing workout videos, not workout videos, but advertisements for weights and like workout equipment and stuff or like advertisements for like, like maybe it's like fitness sportswear, you know, like some sort of shorts or shoes or fucking armbands or something. And they need their model to be standing there in a certain position holding a bunch of weight all day while people take pictures yeah there's no reason for him to be holding real weights i mean that's true yeah that's a good one i feel like the fake weight usage i see which usually fitness models pretending to be a little stronger than they really are yeah they're misguided man their risk reward is all fucked up like the risk of getting caught for fake weights is really high and it ruins your credibility and the reward for lifting more dude i was impressed at your real weights i was impressed that you don't eat much trail mix the fact that you're lifting fake weights like you didn't need to add to it yeah yeah i agree there's really no

excuse other than you know kyle's thing that makes sense but that's totally different than what these guys are doing did you uh oh shit what was it now i guess that's kind of just fake weights again for on that i wanted to talk about we've been doing a lot of gaming recently, and we played for the very first time any of us dead by daylight last night. And we were all very frustrated over the course of the first hour, so much so that I think Woody said that this is the worst game to have ever been made. And I will delete it as soon as it is done. Fuck this game. I hate it.

I didn't like it either. That game does suck though so here here's the deal you've got a killer and four people will call them survivors the four people walk up to generators and solve the dumbest stupidest mini game to have ever existed it's a circle with a little line that goes around and you have to hit the space bar at the right time have you ever seen a dumber mini game and while you're doing that you are to hit the space bar at the right time. Have you ever seen a dumber minigame? And while you're doing that, you are helpless against the murderer. So he just walks around and picks who's ever closest and murders them.

And they have to murder him like twice and then they stay dead. Something like that. It is. I thought it was a much more complex game. Now, I know there's a zillion perks and such, but the gameplay is it's awful it's not a fun game it might be fun to watch i could get to where that could be but i don't i wouldn't want to watch it for more than fucking like two or three rounds or something like that there's no map selection i would have liked to have played every map not just what the hell is that about not just two fucking maps and it seemed like it was like this map over and over and over and over we it there the the one we played over and over now

and i think about it is the only one i've seen streamed what are there other maps i saw one that was like like like a street with homes okay like in the middle like like there's like a street with like uh rows of homes on either side and the people were getting hung from the lampposts uh by the road. That's the one that I had seen streamed a long time ago. But we were in a goddamn cornfield for like I think we only played for two and a half

hours. Or I did. But I got tuckered out. I had to go to bed. I think I only played for one or two after you. I did not like that game. I liked Left 4 Dead. Now I know it's an older game. Here's what i liked about left for dead compared to dead by daylight do i have that right yeah um like let's say that i'm in trouble i can call out for help and you can do

something about it and rescue me you know maybe you have to pick me up maybe you just handle the zombies maybe you kill the special that's attacking me like like there's teamwork involved we're on the same team and you have a capability of teaming up and helping and working on stuff you have to get gas tanks from across the map kyle come with me i don't want to go alone in case i run into a hard time um that like dynamic i think is really cool on the other hand dead by daylight it's like oh is he killing k Well, Kyle, you let us know when he's not around you anymore. I'm going to do some small engine repair. And, you know, you're kind of on your own until I think that it's safe. And yeah, it would be a lot more fun.

Like I had the concept of it. I really like it's a cool concept. Like all of the we played with a couple of people that had unlocked a bunch of the bad guys. Like they had Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, hill like pretty cool like that part i thought was neat the fact they only have one thing for you to do which is the same mini game not even that's what are you being too generous by saying mini game a response to a skill check which i think i blew up the generator every time. 90% of the time. Yeah.

It wasn't until we discovered those perks that make it easy that it got kind of rolling. And then it became 50% of the time. I would, I would actually get it. It was there needed. You're right there. Like the generator should just be what happens.

And then go do one map should have generators. Another one should have like a phone system. We're trying to like rewire or something like that. Another one should have like parts of what if there were parts of a gun repair the bridge symbol yeah there was like a barrel and a pistol grip and some bullets and the cylinder and we had to like somehow get them unlocked get them together get the gun loaded and then we could fucking shoot the bad guy kyle it should be a difficult to operate gun like Like a pipe shotgun where you miss. And it's like, guys, I'm really sorry, but I missed.

We have to gather more shotgun parts. We have to gather more shotgun shell parts. Have you ever seen the episode of Star Trek where Kirk is fighting against the Gorgon or whatever? Like that green lizard man. That's the whole concept of that episode. that's the whole concept of that episode like he's scavenging around the planet for like sulfur and bamboo pipes and like making himself a hand cannon to like shoot the gorgon like that would be cool if we were trying to assemble a weapon so that we could finally turn the tables on the bad guy but instead even when we win our like triumphant moment is us opening a door and running

for our fucking lives as, as like, and then he would still get one of us. Like as we're running out the door, like, like there was one time where Woody was the bad guy and I'm like, yes, we made it.

And it's like me, Taylor and Mitty. And, and Taylor's like, he's got me. He's got me. I just look back over my shoulder and like, and Taylor's just crawling towards.

I'm just like, there's literally nothing I can do for Taylorlor we're just sorry yeah i i didn't like that so in fairness like i was looking at the game a little more so there's a whole part of it we weren't doing really which is like there's a bunch of like boxes and chests around the map using those i was you were using all those yeah i was using the toolkit i was, you were using all those. Yeah. I was using the toolkit. I was using the flashlight. Yeah. So there's apparently like some perks that put way better shit in there. I did that.

Maybe like, I don't know if there's weapons in there once you make it better. Cause I was using the, Oh, well nevermind then. I like, I got two different things. Um, I got the flashlight,

which is what I was blinding you with, which is pretty cool. And I had like upgraded it all the way. And I got a toolbox one time and the toolbox allows you to repair those uh engines slightly faster yeah it's and it's still not very fast or you could get a med kit out of there those are the three things that i got out of boxes but there were definitely times that because when you get the toolbox it says like greatly increases visibility like there were definitely times where i was the bad guy and I would just be looking around and I'd see

you skipping around with a toolbox glowing in the night. And it's like, oh, there he is. I'd have dropped that shit if I'd known that. That's not my idea of what a good game is. Games that are that popular and that shitty

make me wonder if we should be doing game development. That's a bad game that's a bad and i know that that would be my reaction if i were like a fan of these games if i was a big among us fan like the other 10 million people in the world or if i was a big uh fan of uh dead by daylight i'd be like you make your own game that's cooler in my head i'm like i got like eight ideas that are cooler than dead by daylight like it's it's so poorly executed what did quibble cop did i get his name wrong quibble cop oh he's our yeah we've been on the show okay the cookie man the cookie man um yeah i i don't know much about his game. I wonder how it went.

But anyway, hey, like Left 4 Dead is World War Z and Vermintide. Vermintide 2, I think, is the current one. I mean, I sold $50,000 worth of copies of my video game. That's true. Good. My side scroller. My side scroller. But yeah, if we wanted to play if you liked Left 4 Dead, but maybe

it was too old, there's two more current ones. Well, I downloaded Vermintide 2, bought it and downloaded it, and I played it for like maybe five minutes today, just like working out, making sure that I could play it and everything would look good. Seems to be good to go. And this game does look like a lot more fun

and in-depth than what we've been playing recently i definitely want to play vermintide because i'm going to know like all the not all the lore but i'm going to i'm going to know a bit of the lore and backstory i'm going to be able to play you know as characters that are uh that are in the total warhammer you'll like it a lot first beginning of the game like you're just right in the middle of like a skaven den like killing people on your way out it's it's pretty cool verment yeah that sounds fun has a really high skill ceiling uh i'm not at the top but i i got into it for a bit and i watched youtube videos and saw what good looks like yeah so if you want a lot of timed hacking it's like like timing your swings there's timing the swings there's dodging

and blocking too and uh um that's basically it you know there's a rate some of the characters have range weapons too you ever play shadow of mordor no a little bit yeah that's that's got a lot of uh uh of time stuff as well um it's it's basically a lord of the rings game where you're um you're in mordor as like the shadow warrior and uh you're just getting into tons and tons of like sword battles i only played like maybe a quarter of that game and it felt like it's super repetitive i quit it the same reason i quit uh what is it assassin's's Creed, where it was like, it's the exact same mission in different colored rooms over and over, except in Shadow of Mordor, it was like,

you need to go kill Grishnak, the overlord, and you show up and it's some orc with a bunch of pelts and like a wolf head, and you kill him, and it's like, now you must kill Ugluk, the conqueror, and it's like, they're reusing skins, and I've been playing for 40 minutes. Yeah. The thing is, I would conquer an entire clan of orcs.

I'd kill the entire hierarchy. And then they just start recruiting new members. There was no stick-to-itiveness. They just start recruiting new guys. And I was like, well, I just killed the warlord of warlords how who's who's doing the recruiting who's who's running out there like finding these we're like the like the so like it would show woody like almost an orchestra pattern of all the bad guys you needed to kill so it'd be like a periodic table yeah just a periodic table of all these guys and as

you're leveling up if you don't take care of these bad guys they're also leveling up so like let's say i get to level five uh-oh uglock just went to level seven i better go try and nip him in the bud this will be a tough fight but i'll go i'll go try and take him out before he gets too powerful for me you go to him he absolutely rails you into the ground and you go okay i'll try him again uh looks like that gave him enough experience to get to level eight let me try something else so you go to a different guy you try him again. Looks like that gave him enough experience to get to level eight. Let me try something else. So you go to a different guy, you kill some weak guys and somehow he's just grinding over there and now he's level

nine. And it's to a point where I remember... If you lose to Ugluck like three times in a row, you've created Morgoth himself incarnate. That's the reason that I quit, is like I wiped out all of the lower level guys that I could

and meanwhile there was one absolute titan that beat me up like twice and it was like, I need to go to the next past section of the game and start playing because I can't do anything to beat this last guy. He's too powerful. Like, he just fucks me. And if it's a Lord of the Rings game and I don't finish it

you know there's something wrong with it. Like, there was not a lot of lore to be had it was just kind of a repetitive you know different skinned assassin's creed i never liked that game either did you guys get into that assassin's creed yeah uh no i don't like those either um i i beat one on stream you know but i i didn't get into it though i i played it i was like oh this is kind of neat i'm so good at fighting i can win 18 v1s you know like anyone can i'm not saying i'm good at the game oh yeah and uh and that was kind of cool for a bit but like big reveals would happen you know i'd go into some i don't know lens flare room and all of a sudden larry is now david and they're like what do you don't realize what you just saw well you're right about

that i um don't give a fuck what i just saw this is assassin's creed 7 and i haven't played one through six so i none of these people are not invested did you see um raised by wolves did any of you guys watch that i i haven't no disappointing uh first two or three no it's um it's an hbo show it looks like ridley scott produced um i haven't seen it but let me just make up what it is and tell me how accurate i am it's in some sort of just i saw 30 seconds of a trailer. And based on that, post-apocalyptic Earth where almost everyone is dead and there's some sort of a robot raising human embryos to restart the human race. And the antagonist appears to either be another robot or perhaps some sort of alien who's trying to stop that. And so the robot is having to defend the, the,

the child. You're doing pretty well. Um, all this stuff about the robot and the embryo and recreating the human race on another planet is on target. Uh, the others, it's the war.

I think you're right. It's earth. I'm not even a hundred percent. Sure. Probably everyone watching is like, it was obviously earth woody, but but anyway it's atheists against believers those are the two big warring factions that kind of destroyed the planet and the robots represent the atheists they're the tech side of it and the believers come along i find the believers intolerable they're like

there's just a whole lot of praying to god that very low standard of proof for god's existence um they offload their own responsibilities onto god like i don't know i point a gun at taylor say god control my hand shoot him and like well i guess that's what he wanted that's a great little so uh and i don't think i've spoiled anything of note yet but my big problem with the show the first couple episodes really pulled me in the premise that kyle kind of laid out like oh i get it warring factions new planet re-establish a civilization um you don't realize that the main people you're watching are aliens until like 10-15 minutes into the show and it's like okay okay i get it but after the first two episodes it's like the plot stops advancing and you just watch the next eight or so not connecting connecting to these characters anymore, getting a little bored.

Lots of people, very wounded, crawling in dirt. And I'm like, how long can you watch that? It's cold out. That's a major plot point. I will not start it. Yeah. It started off like, dude, this is a nine out of ten show and it ended like i don't know if i'm gonna watch season two i had to power through the end

of one i need to find something else to watch i finished all eight seasons of impractical jokers now that show is the mandalorian is only uh three short weeks away away. I am excited for that. I love that little baby Yoda. I'm hoping they stay on point this time and there aren't a lot of little bullshit of the week episodes. I want to stick to the main story and see what's going on there. Did you guys watch the debates? No.

So the vice presidential debate happened. Woody analysis. Both sides think they won it was uh close enough that i don't think any votes are going to be changed which is like historically true of vice presidential debates and in general like no one really says like oh you know what that uh that reagan's i'm not sure about him but hw i'm voting for him you know i hate trump for that pence right right no one's voting for pence or harris i talked over you right there but um uh this election maybe vps are a little more bored because both of the presidents are so old. But the deal is Trump seems very far behind. I actually saw the 16 point poll you're talking about, Kyle. But the aggregate of polls that I look at puts it more at like nine.

And that's a lot. That's a really big lead. So Trump needs change events. Trump needs something big to happen. And it's interesting to me that trump is skipping the second debate now i'm not married to the campaign like you would think any anything that just gets us closer to the to the finish line without changing anything is good for biden that's my take on it if biden could just freeze everything and make it november 3rd today he would be thrilled

so each debate is an opportunity for biden to what fall asleep poop himself whatever like so biden just doesn't want that uh trump feels like he won the first debate i think if the proof is in the poll results trump didn't win the polls got much worse for him post winning for him it is means a different thing though like even if like if if there was if it was like a fucking nba game and there were fucking points being kept and referees but scoring and he got the most points that doesn't mean he won because that's not the game we're playing it's it's what the audience thought about what happened and it's really uh if the audience if enough people heard something from Trump that made them change their mind. So it doesn't matter who wins or loses the debates.

It's who is more convincing to the American people that they're the one to lead them forward. You can lose the debate as far as points might go and what the moderators think and what the talking heads think, but you can still win it with the american people i i would argue that trump did that against hillary oh perhaps but um uh i think we have the same definition for this time around like i i actually watched trump and thought kind of an asshole but alpha i saw biden a little more likable definitely didn't like drool on himself and poop and uh um perhaps more likable but a little beta you know which i saw as a negative but now we've had time to digest it we've seen what the polls have done and it just got

worse for trump like that trump was an asshole is the only takeaway that people had. So he needs more change events going his way, and he's skipping the second debate. Now there's a thing about that. This is just a Woodyism, so put no faith in it. But I feel like walking away from the table is a standard part of the Trump negotiation process. He walks away from every negotiation we've seen him done whether it be with like china or real estate or debates or whatever so the fact that he walked away and said he's out of the second debate doesn't mean he's out this is just a part of the process for him he always i agree with that yeah that that makes sense because he wants to debate in person

like of course especially now. He's a walking biological weapon against a frail opponent? Are you kidding me? They should put a big, just giant screen between them. I'm telling you, it'd be so hilarious if Trump ran over and spit in his face or something like that. What are you afraid of, Joe?

Give me a big hug. He's going to go for a handshake like chasing him around like trying to give him a hug and joe runs from him they're gonna agree to no handshake and trump is gonna run around with it he's gonna do like that's a good optic that's a good optic trump coming forward with the with the handshake and joe literally running they that would be funny yeah uh um so i don't know if the second debate i'm sorry say it again taylor yeah i was i was agreeing like he definitely wants to do it because he knows his numbers are bad right now and it's just there's only so many little opportunities left to swing

people and so yeah if it does end up that they're like we're only going to do it virtually and he doesn't do it, that's really bad. So ABC News said that if Trump doesn't do the debate, they're just going to do a town hall Joe Biden and people on primetime TV by himself. Yep. And that can't – I mean I guess it is an opportunity for Biden to screw things up. But I don't think – he's been doing so well. He did this Gettysburg address. I didn't even watch it, but people loved it. He did another town hall.

It went really well for him. I don't think he can mess up those town halls because if Fox were hosting a town hall and maybe they had somebody out there with some loaded questions, I think that that could be problematic. But I think as long as he's with any other network, he's going to get thrown some either questions he's prepared for or softballs in general. Vice President Biden, Vice President Biden, favorite, favorite, favorite, vice team. He's not bad at this, though. I'm a vanilla man myself. He's been in politics for 47 years. He's been in politics for 47 years.

Sometimes, like, I think of him as the contender you know the guy who's new at this but he's not that's how i thought of mccain too or like no all of these people are practiced debaters who used to public speaking have been doing it for ages um biden will be fine ancient ancient yeah ancient ancient i hate our political system so much dude it's working great it's going good everybody's happy uh the federal government's just got way too much power yeah i like a strong federal government more so than by state you should go to i mean for some things a strong federal government more so than by state. You should go to a... For some things, a strong federal government are great. But for many things,

they're not. I would argue that it'd be great if they focused on defense, healthcare, environmental protection, regulatory

matters. Because you can't have Alabama being like no regulations whatsoever. And then all the businesses come there and make Alabama just a fucking blade runner. That's where the batteries come from, Kyle. That's just where the batteries come from. And, you know, it's just the rivers are cadmium, you knowulatory matters, things like that. Not 100% sure what cadmium is, but I think it's inside those Easter eggs that you get. Yes, the cadmium eggs that they give you every year. You know, the cadmium bunny.

He comes around and he gives you the eggs. He comes and he gives you the eggs, and they feel really hot in your hand. I don't know why you can't get cadmium eggs all year, but come Easter time, you see him. He's bringing you. Little, little bald,

pale children with the park. And they're just like a commercial. It's the cadmium bunny. And it's just, no, no, they're happy. It commercial it's the cadmium bunny and it's just no no they're happy it's an irradiated bunny they run towards them their teeth and hair falling out fingernails does the yolk in a cadbury egg taste different or is it the same what do you mean so cadbury egg is a chocolate egg yeah that's the joke with the cadmium egg. But the inside is white, and there's a little yolk in there, too.

I think you guys are lacking in Cadbury eggs. Yeah, I've had a lot of those cum eggs. You're missing out. For Easter, my mom would always get me one of those big fucking peanut butter eggs. No, it was made by a bakery, and was like literally the size of a softball and it was so rich you could only eat like a quarter of it maybe it was just like a giant ball of candy peanut butter i like the chocolate shape ones they that reese's does every season we're like they will literally on the bottom yeah they'll just ship out the christmas tree one and the

easter egg one and they're the exact same shape but that ratio of them is good the peanut butter to chocolate ratio i know you prefer more chocolate with the peanut butter but i like no i like peanut butter oh well and you like those too i'm sure the egg and the the christmas tree ones and the the big cup yeah reese's is my favorite candy yeah reese's is Reese's. When I brought up the Cadbury egg, I was low-key excited for it. I was like, oh, yeah. Cadbury egg season. No, it's Halloween coming, not Easter. God damn it.

I couldn't be much farther from Easter. No. Pretty far away. That's a long ways out. What, like April 20th? April. Yeah. They better make some Halloween Cadbury eggs.

We're giving them out for all the people that don't come. Well, they do the peanut butter eggs. They do peanut butter Cadbury eggs? I think so. If they don't, that's a tremendous oversight. Like, they know it works. Peanut butter, chocolate. And it's not even good peanut butter. It's like trashy

Reese's quality peanut butter that if you put it on a sandwich, you'd be like, what the hell is wrong with this sandwich? It's so gritty. Like, it's only good when paired with the put it on a sandwich, you'd be like, what the hell is wrong with this sandwich? It's so gritty. Like it's only good when paired with the chocolate. And when you know what you're doing, but sometimes the perfect pairing is different than the perfect standalone. I saw someone make cookies out of all the cookie dough from cookies and cream ice cream.

Those cookies sucked. That's not terrible. Awful cookies. How did somebody do that? He just ruined ice cream and cookies. But in the ice cream, it worked. Yeah. So this is a Reese's egg.

This is not a Cadbury egg. You're right. You're right. It's what I found though. Do you guys do anything – are you guys going to do anything for Halloween this year? I suppose not with the pandemic. It seems like the worst. We usually don't.

is not with the pandemic it seems like the worst we usually don't and and i was kind of excited about like when i bought this house i had this idea that we were the big house on the hill that gave out like the legit candy and the first couple years we just had to eat all the candy ourselves now we don't even buy it we stopped turning the light on it is a complete waste of time no one walks did you have decorations yeah yeah we had decorations and we turned the lights on it is a complete waste of time no one walks did you have decorations yeah yeah we had decorations and we turned the lights on and that's real that's kind of upsetting we're too far it's the driveway no one was yeah i imagine jackie like dressed up as a witch like eight steps like eight steps from the door kind of like it's it's dark it's dark now they'll be coming soon you think you see headlights and someone's like hey how do i get to the interstate from here It's dark. It's dark now. They'll be coming soon.

You see headlights and someone's like, how do I get to the interstate from here? Three miles down on the left. I talked about hooking up the trailer and hay riding them to the front door. But everyone said that was a liability nightmare. It's a huge liability nightmare. Yeah. I don't have a safe trailer. Anyway don't have like a safe trailer and like anyway so now

we regular trail you don't even turn the lights on anymore it's a regular trail but i was gonna put like i'm sorry hay bales along the edges for seeds it has the you know the trailers with like the two foot little walls on the side yeah yeah so i i thought i'd do something like that a little place to sit some little tyke falls off the front of it, goes under the tires, head pops like a melon. Right. Or, or maybe they just put their fingers like under the trailer coupling couple

that blew up PTO or something. And, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, farm equipment has exposed things that will chew a human up and the motor will not even grunt you know it's just it it's a total mismatch and that's how people get hurt a video one of you one of you it was kyle sent to boat where it was like some chinese guy who got caught in a metal lathe and it like boned him like a fish just so all right so on the scale of things that are strong a tractor's pto is like a seven out of ten a metal lathe is a nine a metal lathe is running on like 500 volts of electricity or something like like 480 or something and i don't know what the gear ratio is on one of those things but it's like 10 000 to one or something like that like like it's got so much torque it's able to spin at these really low speeds or these super high speeds and when someone's working on one and they just get caught

and it pulls them in that would be good in a Marvel movie to show how Captain America or some badass superhero dies well he got sucked into a metal lathe yeah but he's immortal I don't care who you are, you get sucked into a metal lathe

Thor or not I don't care who he are. You get sucked into a metal layer, Thor or not. I don't care who he is, but we need a wet vac. What kind of fucker was he? He flattened his whole hammer. Look at that. What's the name of the incredible chick with the fat ass? Elastigirl. That's close enough for me.

Elastigirl. Oh, come on. You guys don't know Elastigirl? I've never seen that movie. Oh, The Incredibles? Yeah, well, she's like a rubber man, and she would be able to wind up and be okay. It'd be fun to see that.

I think it would tear her. Yeah, maybe. What's fun is that she can choose any body shape, right? She sometimes stretches out. She gets thin. She gets tall. She gets short. She can squeeze under a closed door,

and the body shape she chooses all the time is fucking thick, fat ass. That's Pixar's way of sexualizing the character and getting away with it. Because like big old titties, they're like, whoa, what's this? But they can put a fucking truck on the back of that chick. And everybody's just like, well, all right. They talked about it they were trying they it's i wonder if you read what i read or if you just inferred that but i did okay yeah they um pixar movie thing real quick this is an article called we ranked every pixar movie mom

they absolutely do yeah they they were trying kyle said sexualized but i think they were just trying to show that she was like an adult mom and that was how they did it but i like this dump truck what if we gave every mom absolute dump truck so i need to see more asses in this i know i think you have to actually click the video. What a terrible picture. Why did they include the ant queen? Does the ant queen have a big thorax? I guess. Pixar mom butt.

Let's see what we get. Just rule 34 of that thing, man. Just get after it. You can't share that. I'm not going to share. The article ends with, either way, we're not mad after it. You can't share that. I'm not going to share. The article ends with, either way, we're not mad at it.

Were you reading the Don Draper meme, Woody? I don't think so. Where it's him standing there with his idea and it just says, we give every mom an absolute dump truck ass. And it says Pixar on his chest. That's funny. What a terrible article. Sorry. That's cool. I got to play the gif of her

butt oh well then everyone wins yeah yeah but you're right kyle i don't like how they included the skeleton i don't know what movie that's from i i only know the ant lady from bugs life and incredibles woman i don't know who those other three are. That one looks like Shrek. Maybe that's Shrek. Which number? That is absolutely not. No, no, no. It's not Shrek or Fiona. I'm saying it looks maybe that's someone from the Shrek.

No, I think that's from that movie with the gay people, the gay Pixar cartoon. I don't even. I think that's supposed to be like a trans man or something. There's a gay Pixar cartoon? Yeah, I think it came out like last year. That's a good gay Pixar cartoon.

I don't know her. Prefers to be I believe the pronoun is him. Really? Did I fuck up the pronoun? I believe that blue character there prefers uh they or them dude i look it's an elf or something that that trans elf did you follow the spotify stuff and joe rogan oh i think it's hilarious attempted censorship so i live in this bubble you might say here in north carolina where all the bullshit about the snowflake left and such is kind of overblown, right?

Like, that's not what I see when I look at the left. But then, like, the Spotify guys come out and make it true. They want the authority to censor Joe Rogan or they're going to quit. And it didn't go anywhere but i don't quit quit wait yeah i have a friend i'm trying not to dox him but he works for a big company in new york and uh he's a tech person i loved it they asked him what his favorite login shell was this is a unix thing you know do you want i can name shells it wouldn't help but they asked him like what he would like his technical environment to be like and his pronoun

on his day one. They're like, yeah. I was like, oh my gosh. It's crazy to me. I'm an aardvark. Was it some confused Indian guy? No.

I'm trying not to dox it, but he's not an Indian dude. He's an American dude. Do not have Bob's over regime was what if your pronoun was like your highness or something could you could you choose something that's fun i think you can choose whatever the fuck you want woody i just really want them to call me your highness just put it in your twitter bio and see if they're referring to you that seems seems to be the journal. I'll be known as Chancellor Woodworth. Oh, that is going to be trouble. Supreme Leader?

Yeah. Lord, right? Well, Lord's already taken. You have to actually own land or kill a knight. I don't know the rules. Something like that to become a lord. I really feel constrained by your rule set. And I do own land.

You just hand out being a lord. You got to be like a queen or a king like you got you got to go first impress the one of the things that'd be like oh i'm sheriff woody like are you actually sheriff woody is fucking hilarious i think that's what i should be that is the most that's the most easily attainable um power in the in the world perhaps is becoming a sheriff you're doing an election right you just win a fucking election no qualifications or skills just be popular enough that they'll make you the chief law enforcement officer over an entire fucking municipality you rule the roost and the things you have access to i'm talking like

armor personnel carriers and machine guns like like right off the bat you just put in a request form and you can get them and the county will pay for it and you can just sort of choose to enforce or not enforce laws you know so i just have to win an election to do this yeah like local elections like a fucking popularity contest yeah like like like 1800 votes or something i need everyone out there to mail in their ballots it's absurd the power that that a small town sheriff has um did you see that small town sheriff that got arrested it was kind of popular in the internet maybe two weeks ago did you watch the arrest no it'd be hard to show on on pka because it's like 18 minutes long but the cop was such a dick he kept complaining that his handcuffs were too tight which was hard for me to respect him while he's like owie owie um wait the sheriff was being

arrested by like a patrolman so the sheriff had done something like selective law enforcement and the um so like the city went to get his phones they had a um a warrant for them and he just kind of like didn't honor it you know he's like every step of the way he's not honoring it. The warrant was for his body. So I give my phones to you. And he's like, well, you're kind of out of luck now. You can't search my body. I don't have my phones on me.

And they're like, well, you just handed them to him right in front of me. I saw you do that. And he's like, yeah. So they're not on me. I guess you don't have any right to search Taylor over there. It's like a gathering trap card or something. The police are like, fuck! We're fucked.

So they had to come back with another warrant, I think. And he obstructed justice. I guess you can't knock on it. They come back and Taylor has given the phone to me. And I just give it right to them because I don't want any more trouble yeah anyway the real takeaway was what a dick this sheriff was and all of his people were so fat and so unprofessional and seemingly dumb and then the city cops that were arresting him really seemed to have their act together also they were like SWAT team tactical versus like country bumpkin they were the next level up of like

promotion it's like all right now you get the cool shit yeah it did seem like it was people who knew the law versus people who didn't kind of this is a funny little cop thing I have a friend who's a cop and he works out in one of like the safe county areas around the city

where this was probably a couple years ago now where I was talking to him at a get together hey how are you liking a man still like being a cop and he's like honestly it's so boring like i'll get called to like a domestic i'll get called to some kids causing problems at a park it just sucks and then they started like when it wasn't ferguson it was like some subsequent riot like Like it was it been the last year or so. One of those like kickoff riots in the last five months. They didn't have enough municipal officers, I guess, in the St. Louis City area.

And so they pulled from the counties. And I talked to him again after that. And I was like, and I didn't know that it happened. I was like, hey, how's your transfer? Because he told me I want to transfer to St. Louis City and see some actions, see some real stuff. I asked him again. He's like, how was it transfer? Because he told me I want to transfer to St. Louis City. See some action. See some real stuff. I asked him again. He's like, how was it?

Like, you still transfer going through? And he's like, nah, fuck that. Fuck that so hard. I went there. It was awful. So people were throwing like bottles at me and stuff. And like I was holding the shield up. He's like, it was just terrible.

I hated it. I have a newfound appreciation for where I work now. And I was like he's like it was just terrible it was i hated i i have a newfound appreciation for where i work now and i was like yeah i don't doubt it like if you're a cop boredom is probably a nice little blessing right where you're like i'm bored huh i'm bored nice yeah i think people become cops and because they like watched bad boys they're like i'm gonna be just like will smith i'm gonna drive around in a Porsche and fight crime. And then they get there, and they're in an old Crown Vic that smells like vomit and piss, just sitting at an intersection trying to catch an old lady running a light

so that they can meet their quota and not get fired. And then they get to watch their own cruiser on a Saturday afternoon. Yeah. Now, he was telling me, he's like, oh, it was terrible. You just go down there. The guy in charge he tells you where to stand and then you can see people doing stuff and you don't do anything you can't do anything you can see people doing stuff but like at one point like i guess the mayor had

told them they not to pursue or something and so they just had to like just do nothing and so your job is kind of target target you want to make sure that none of these nice businesses get taken down. We want them to focus their rage on you and not this corporate entity right here. Definitely not Bank of America. They lose this building. They may go down. Recoup that loss. You don't be a fucking cop.

That's that's one of the shittiest jobs that exists right now especially i can't i would crime scene cleanup or riot cop oh oh fuck one of them is dangerous as shit the other one is so gross Actually you know what though I'll be wearing All that stuff Like that PPE kit and everything You'd be wearing a lot of riot gear as a riot cop That's true but I know that the dead body I'm sweeping up or mopping up

You're a big guy but you'd like to crack some skulls I don't want to get in a riot Yeah you do Go in there The cop the one with the biggest helmet I heard you know it was me it's the one that when he backs back up into formation reverse sounds come on

you've got that helmet like on space balls you remember that with Rick Moranis comes out his fucking Darth Vader character was and his helmet is the size of a fucking trash can or something. Moving around on his head, shifting every time he turns. Yeah.

I think I'd rather be the riot cop. That crime scene cleanup shit is just awful. I don't want to clean up blood and guts and gore. Especially not... You're probably imagining a body that just died. Probably decomposed bodies almost all the time. and gore especially not you know like you're probably imagining like a body that just died probably decomposed bodies almost all the time and like three weeks children and shit i heard

it doesn't you know what it we looked it up one time it pays like 12 an hour or something yeah they should get paid a lot okay not. Even ignoring the whole payment thing, I guess you're right. Riot Cop. Because I'm imagining now all the dead kids, all the people that killed themselves in the bath, and they've just been kind of emulsifying for about a month now. Well, you just pull the plug and let them drain away. I'm just saying that would give me a lot of nightmares. Run the shower. You see dead kids when you close your eyes.

What if you took a shower and you got out and you still had the stink on you? I bet that happens all the time. You know what they're using? Five and one. Your shampoo? Yeah. Yeah, you got to use 12 and one, Mike, to get that dead child stink out. 12 and one. Yeah, it's got deep. Yeah, it's got deep 12 and 1, Mike, to get that dead child stink out. 12 and 1.

Yeah, it's got deep. Yeah, it's got deep. You want the deep? It's actually got Chanel No. 5 in it. It smelled great. I was wondering what that was. Yeah, I would say, I guess, Riot Cop because the other one seems pretty nightmare-inducing and absolutely thankless.

Nobody's ever like like thank you for cleaning that up like i mean i think that every single like detective cop medical professional blood splatter analysis guy every single one of them walking into their like that room where the murder scene happened where they need to do their job it's even when like watching movies and seeing shows with this i've always thought like every one of them is overjoyed that they're not the cleanup guy. They just get to come in and out. Yeah.

Ah, the fucking blood splattered here. There. I'm not a killer. Don't look at me. They come in and they're like murder. All right, let's get the fuck out of here.

It stinks. Ah, he's dead because his head is missing. It's like, all right, well, uh, you're trying to find that head. uh you're gonna want a hose uh good luck that would be depressing as shit yeah it would be awful or except all right so crime scene cleanup or so what's worse than crime scene cleanup let's kind of keep this train going there is of course septic tank uh uh guy you know the guy who comes pumps septic is always

pitching that job to me right he's always like yeah you know there's jobs out there you don't think about the pay good money that are honest days work like this thing you take the poop out you put it in a honey truck then you take the honey truck to this big concrete lake and you pour it in there and i'm like that you seem to be skipping over that this is all poo you're dealing with this is a yucky job yeah i honestly don't think it's that bad though i don't think it's a i definitely would prefer it over crime scene cleanup because the truck does all the hard work it seems like you're kind of hands off like you hook the hose up it sucks the out. The poo's in the truck. You put the hose out.

It pumps all the poo out. You wear gloves, maybe some waders or something. It's true. It's not like you start the siphon with your mouth or anything. Yeah, exactly. All right, we got the shit out. You ever siphon gasoline? You get that one mouthful of gas you're like

all right it's not so bad gasoline doesn't taste bad oh really it's fine i i find even the fumes like i have done it and sometimes um i suck in the fumes before not even gas but it's like yeah like it's i don't i don't love it i'm not I'm not over here like, it's a 93 octane. But compared to alcohol, I think gasoline tastes better than alcohol. I've never tried gasoline. Oh, you should. Yeah, you call yourself Australian.

Actually, he never calls himself Australian. He calls himself an abo. You're not much of an abo if you don't siphon gasoline. See, that's why your didgeridoo is slipping. I need to wet my whistle with some gasoline. If you were huffing – so if you don't know this, it's kind of a stereotype over there like the ligament thing might be over here. You know, the abos, which I'm pretty sure is a derogatory term for them.

They're known to steal. There's no way it's not. There's no way it's not, and I'm fully aware of that. They steal gasoline from cars. They siphon it out, so everyone has to have those locking gas caps. It's a well-known thing that, you know, got to keep your car locked up, but they'll see and feel I can't imagine that makes you feel better than just getting drunk

no no no, they're stealing the gasoline but that one guy who's from there they huff it too well of course they huff it but they've got so much of it that's just a natural byproduct of stealing it there's no way that you feel that good huffing gasoline

and imagine you get a headache not a good buzz yeah there was a guy who would huff gasoline at school because we had in uh in a welding shop we had a gasoline generator like a little power supply you know in the tool room and so obviously you could take the gas cap off and there's a gallon of gasoline just sitting there in the room available for anyone who's stupid enough to go huff it and he would go down there and huff the shit out of that gasoline take these huge breaths like three or four big hop and like hold him in and then like when he was done he would just he would look so high he would be like he would just be like oh oh he kind of like bump into the wall on his way out of the tool room. And I just remember thinking like, like three of us would watch him do this.

And, and out of the three of us, not one of us ever was like, all right, I got seconds. It was always just like, so he's, he's fucked. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. What's he thinking? What's he thinking? I'm trying to get a little wild. Anybody down? Anybody down? Yeah. I know it's fourth hour. could i'm trying to get a little wild anybody down anybody down yeah i know it's fourth hour who cares let's get high on gasoline i've got english after this i'm not huffing gasoline how bad is your day i'm 17 years old we're we're we're welding today like like why is he what problems did he have at home how bad was your day

how bad is your day that huffing gasoline is the high point? I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that either. Sniffing glue, that almost seems like more of a meme or joke than anything, but I know people do that. Yeah, they do it. It smells good. You know what really smells good?

I've never had any interest in huffing it, but whenever I would work with PVC, PVC pipe glue smells really good. I've never smelled that. I have, but I don't remember. These little metal cans. I remember like silicone instead of caulk. Is it silicon? I get it mixed up.

Silicone. Is it cone? Yeah, the thing that comes with the tube. You squeeze it. You can use it like caulk. I always thought that smelled really good yeah my my my i've always thought the uh the pvc pipe uh glue smelled good you take the cap off and the cap's got like a little uh stem attached to it with a wiki cotton ball thing at the end that you like rub it on the pipes with and i always like

doing pvc pipe work because you got to smell the glue my crazy are the two parts to it you like rub the purple on and then the clear my crazy is that how you do it um there's probably some binary uh pipe glues but uh there's like three different kinds of just regular pvc pipe glue but they're not it's one thing um maybe with metal pipes you're thinking i don't recall it's been a while since i messed with it most of the time i use pvc it's not like watertight it's like electrical conduit and i don't glue it like that yeah i've done a lot of uh water pvc and and air uh you know for like running air compressors and stuff. Yeah. PVC and air can be a little dangerous.

Yeah. It's like you pressurize it, people listening, and then if you tap it, like if it's in an environment where maybe you carry plywood or tools that are unwieldy, all you have to do is tap that PVC and it's just looking to explode. Yeah. Yeah. It was never under a ton of pressure um you know whatever a shop air compressor does 140 psi it's pressure yeah something like that yeah so before we jump to the next thing we're going to hear from the national highway traffic safety administration it can be a little frustrating especially if you're in a hurry or running late to find yourself at a railway crossing waiting for a train. And if the signals

are going and the train's not even there yet, you may feel a bit tempted to try and sneak across the tracks. Well, don't ever. To the naked eye, trains often appear to be further away and moving slower than they are, and they can't stop quickly. Even if the engineer hits the emergency brakes right away, it can take a train over a mile to stop. Over a mile to stop. By that time, it's too late and the result is a potentially deadly crash. The point is, you can't know how quickly your train will arrive. The train can't stop quickly. Even if it sees you, it's going to end

in disaster. If the signals are on, the train is on its way. And you just need to remember one thing. Stop. Trains can't. There it is. Stop. Trains can't stop trains careful with the trains they're very cool they're very dangerous you have to respect for their power i had a co-worker who was super into trains his hobby after work was restoring a real life train his other hobby was a pretty intricate replicate like what are you a replica of the local train system and you know

he like even like the graffiti on the side of the like cave walls and stuff he had in his basement and he just recreated the local train system dude i want anything to make me as happy as that makes him you know what i mean where you see somebody like just having a hobby like that we're like and then you have to see this part of the train over here and it's like damn dude you're living the dream he was really into this right and then he had a kid and you know his kid gets to be like four or something like do you let your kid run it he's like oh no no really he doesn't let his kid my model train sets not for children model train sets are not for children. Model train sets are all for children. That's a cool guy of the week.

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that's a possibility as a fourth or we could grab somebody else i don't know which character are you because i was i was briefly going through the little options of four. There's like a paladin, a wizard. I think there's six you can choose from maybe. If there is a witch hunter, I want to be a witch hunter. There is. There's some guy with like a rapier, I think it's called. Like that long, thin sword.

And then like a flintlock or wheel pistol. And he's got like a silly hat. He's got a silly hat. He's got some kind of silly hat that means he knows what he's talking about. He looks like a pilgrim. I think my Marcus Cooper is all the way leveled up. Yeah. Full arm guy, I think. I think I chose him.

You're not allowed to use your already ranked up character. We're on the same team, Kyle. Irrelevant. We all have to start from shit. Then I have a dwarf that I started leveling up and kind of fell out of love with the game.

I didn't like the dwarf because I think he uses a crossbow and that does not align with any lore that dwarves are primarily a ranged foe. There's a very tattooed double-axed dwarf that is my favorite one. foe there's a very tattooed double axed dwarf that is okay i'm back my favorite one oh he's a slayer king i think he is a slayer yeah um you have to like if i recall each of the there's five characters and each five characters has three variants

and i think you might even level them up separately or you have to level one all the way up to unlock the next or something like that yeah the slayers are like these mohawk dwarves with an axe in each hand and they don't wear armor at all they just fucking they're like berserkers yeah the elf look like the most fun one it has the highest skill level um and you can like become like invisible run to a spot like run away from trouble and then go it again so the the meta is like i slash you from the front i become invisible i get behind you i slash you there i don't know i just keep slashing people from behind and get to them during my invisibility period it's pretty cool yeah well i'm down i'm down to play that sounds fun um we'll see if i'm any good at it probably cheap yeah it doesn't matter it's like left for dead like you know the object

is get everybody to the end i'm gonna tailor you i'm just curious my bad i was saying yeah victor salzpire this guy is who you, Kyle, with his cool sword and his tinny-looking pilgrim hat. Sounds about right. Yeah, he's a witch hunter if he's dressed like that. And you probably want a good mix of characters, right? Or no? I don't know. We're playing for six hours or something, so I'm going to focus on one guy.

No, no, no. I was meaning as a group. So all three of us. Oh or something, so I'm going to focus on one guy. No, no, no. I was meaning like as a group. So all three of us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. It'd be like Woody's like, I'm going to pick Sienna Fueganastus, and I'll be like, oh, okay.

Well, then I guess I'll play Marcus Kruber. That's what it's like, Woody. It's kind of like Borderlands where you don't want four tanks going in. Actually, that's probably the best if you were going to win. It's $30. Yeah, I already bought it. I feel like you're spending more expertise out of me than you're going to get.

I'm trying to remember. Can you even play two of the same character? I'm not sure. Maybe they solve it for you. I only played for a couple minutes, like the first tutorial, just to get a feel for the game. It looks cool. I like the animations. I like the way the bad guys look so far,

even though it's just been some basic skaven. This should be fun. The elf is really cool. Also, she has the best voice lines, I think. She's sarcastic and funny. You've played through all of them? Well, when you play, they're also on your team

so i hear her voice lines i've played all of them at least once i'm sure but like i haven't leveled them all up okay i'm taking marcus kruber i like this armor's dope that's the one that i normally play i'm not attached to any one of them it doesn't matter you're like i don't fucking care yeah i'll play the fire wizard that's pretty tight yeah i'm also not attached to any of these characters i do not mind but i i it seems like it's usually easier to jump into games with like the melee heavy guy as opposed to learning all the casting and everything and so just looking at it maybe not though maybe i'm wrong uh maybe i think the range weapons are the easiest to use you can just sort of stay back and shoot whereas there's a there's a really complex dodge mechanic and you

have to get a lot of timing right and when you do melee it's very important to like keep the crowd in front of you and it's easy to get surrounded so there's a lot of like you know just smart movement that needs to be done to keep everyone on one side of you but uh uh whereas i like the warhammer stuff i've been playing a lot of um you know the uh the cool war yeah this is perfect for you then it's gonna dovetail right into that yeah it's the same characters it's uh same story and everything yeah i think two of the characters flirt with each other some of them hate each other it's kind of fun yeah yeah there's a there's so many factions uh in uh in warhammer 2 and then the multiplayer now i don't know how much that game would cost if you wanted everything

200 250 something like that you better it. 100 factions or whatever? Probably 30 or 40, something like that. Because there's like maybe 15 or 20 factions, and then each one has like two or three sub-factions of itself. But, you know, if you don't buy them all, then you can't play them. It's fun to play as the different factions. They're always adding new content and stuff.

It's fun. I love that game. This looks like it has a lot more legs than Dead by Daylight for us at least. Yes. That's so one note. I feel like we did everything there is to fucking do in that game already. That's the perfect description. Now, there's a lot of expertise you can develop around the perks and stuff.

Sometimes I was just choosing four perks as quickly as possible, so I didn't't go in there with none i didn't realize you had to choose new perks every round so you have sometimes i just perks if you've been the killer so you don't like you get them from the previous round but when you go to killer you reset yeah so there were rounds i played without perks for sure me too although i like the flashlight the flashlight was the only cool thing what did you left click right click you right clicked when you were like running around and it would shine this flashlight and if you got the beam right in their eyes it would blind them and throw them off and they do an animation or do they just can't see okay they would do an animation they would like turn their

head and be like and you and you can't see like your whole screen is just white for like five seconds because kyle got me twice with it. Sniped me. Yeah, and then one time he's like, I got to flashlight him. Oh, shit, battery's dead. Yeah. I remember, because I got you. Yes.

I mean, if we ever play that again, undefeated as the bad guy. I'm never playing that again. 100% win rate for me there. I, uh, have I ever won won as i did win as the bad no i i think twice i was a bad guy and someone got away both times maybe i think i'm playing that game again gonna return it i like it more than among us it's weird to me that among us is so popular yeah i'm done with among us you know i burnt out on that. I've played it a lot.

A lot. Probably, I don't know, 15-20 hours. My daughter plays it. People just like it for the social aspect. All the games are kind of boring. There are a lot of people

who play not with their friends and not with voice. They play with text. Yeah play over like with text. Yeah. That's so lame. I can't imagine doing that. That's so boring. Yeah, that would be awful.

You're just chatting to people you don't know being like, I was not the one. And they're like, nah. Pretty much. It's hard to like, because part of the game, the way we play it anyway is about like charisma, persuasiveness. Like there's a, there's a vocal dynamic. That's part of how you play.

If you just type white looks us like, that's a weird game. How, how is anyone even enjoying that? I remember what half the game is playing via text, just wild accusations right off the bat. And, you know, if somebody makes a convincing wild accusation, I'll jump on board.

As long as it's not me. Kyle was just instantly convincing people to kill Taylor at the start of every round. That's the way you win. Yeah. I mean, I had fun playing the game, but I can't imagine playing it the way some people are where it's like a five hour session of that it does get kind of tedious after a bit

i guess i'm looking at this footage right now in minneapolis minneapolis i guess there's uh there's something happening uh there's i don't know several hundred people marching downtown a touch of is there rioting going on? Not yet. Not yet. What are they upset about? Just enjoying their Thursday night. Just 2020 stuff.

You know, I guess, well, they're certainly not social distancing. They're wearing masks. It's a very tight crowd. Only to avoid identification. That counts. It does count.

You know what I don't like? They're saying something about the police. I'm listening to them chanting. They're like... I mean, that's not surprising. I can't tell. But there's hundreds of them and they're chanting. Where is it it by the way

minneapolis minnesota i just typed in minneapolis to the twitter search bar to see if there's anything like live minneapolis march i guess oh this is not live never mind this is old oh i see they're upset because the minneapolis officer derek chauvin perhaps he's the knee on george floyd's neck dude he posted his bond and got out of jail good no i think most people agree that was a bad killing uh i i thought the i thought the um the medical examiners all agreed that it wasn't a killing at all. I'm playing music. Music. I don't know.

I've heard that said. I read both autopsies, and they said that it was strangulation, that it was the knee on his neck that killed him. I read the opposite. It's those biased autopsy reports again. You know how they are. It's been fake news. I don't know. When I finally watched the 35-minute video of George Floyd, somebody needed to put a knee on that guy. Tiger King is turning his life

around. Look on that guy. Tiger King is turning his life around. Look at this guy. It turns out that this guy in charge of the Bureau of Land Management looks a lot like a guy who took a fork in the road from the Tiger King. The forests are never going to recover from this.

He says that the court decision ousting him from the BLm has had no impact so he's just gonna stay okay yeah they found recently tweet is that he went and picked up a truckload of meat for at walmart for his tigers lovers who eat rotten slime i mean i'm not gay but i'm about to marry this man pick up the truck of course oh that was I love that that was that was one of the best parts of that show when you see them

going through the meat truck and the one guy is like trying to sell it as like we look pretty pretty good around here look crab legs look at that crab legs in there yes like they're cracked Crab legs! Look at that! Crab legs! Some of the meat's still in there.

They're cracked. Those are thrown away crab legs sitting on top of spoiled meat in the back of a truck. You're just picking through refuse. You're going to be ill. This is seafood. You're eating old seafood that's in a black hefty bag. It's disgusting.

There's a wheat pretty good around here. Crab legs tonight, boys! And then those trailers they were living in. hefty bag it's disgusting there's a wheat pretty good around here crab legs not boys and then those trailers they were living in do that doesn't that feel like it was years ago now god this has been a long fucking year dude that was right at the beginning of quarantine when the tiger king was the big i mean that's the reason i think it went so big is everybody was like well i'm staying home oh it absolutely is yeah you're right it's been a long year i was just thinking earlier in the show since last week trump has been hospitalized for covid came out of the hospital for covid and there's been a vice presidential debate and now trump is refusing to do the debate that's

scheduled for the 15th. That's between shows. That's, that's an insane month, let alone a week. We're so deep into it now that like riots don't even make the news. It's just, there's some more stuff going on, but it's fine.

It's five months on the run. What are you, you know, you know, it's up. God, I hope the Lakers don't win the, the, oh,

I saw, I saw this really funny article. It was like LeBron has finally gotten his wish to equalize for equality for the WNBA. Their ratings are now the same. I guess the NBA finals ratings have dropped to the level of WNBA finals levels. I know you hate LeBron and take joy in his bad ratings, but I do. He is looking like he's going to win his next championship.

That will be his one game away. I think. And he's also the far and away favorite to get finals MVP. Yeah. They're wearing the black Mamba jerseys next game. Yeah. Really hoping they lose. Really hoping they're going to wear themamba jerseys next game. Yeah. Really hoping they lose. Really hoping they lose.

They were going to wear them on game seven, I think. But people don't think there will be game seven. They're about to close it out. Yeah. Ooh, that's some bad juju. That's why I want them to lose. I don't want them to lose wearing those jerseys. Good.

So they're up three games to one, I believe. If they lose three games in a row, please, God, if you're there. He was on the other side of that. So LeBron was a Cavalier when he played against the Golden State Warriors, and they were down 3-1. They came back and won 4-3. That was a few years ago, right? Yeah, call it 2017 maybe.

Oh, we were talking about sports, or I guess specifically NBA ratings, and you said they were down like 60 percent year over year and i i think you said that woody and i in my head like later that night or kyle that i was in my head i was like there's no fucking way that's right and i looked it up and like the trend i think it's the last five years it was showing like what each of the game sixes like the viewership and it was like 16 17 18 19 20 or 17 19 20 and it was like 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 or 17, 18, 19, 20. And it was like 19 million, 18 million, 17 million, 13 million, 5 million this year. And so it's down 75% four years ago,

almost 20 million to now five. But like, also I think there was some other compounding factor where it's like, well, usually they're not competing on a Sunday night against football. That definitely adds to it. Usually everyone's not in quarantine. Yeah. Game seven should

have fallen on. That's why I'm saying the first thing is like not game seven. Game five should have fallen on Thursday and they pushed it to Friday because football's on Thursday and they're like, we don't want to fuck with football. People are going to choose it instead. They're going to choose week three of NFL over

a series closing finals game of the NBA. They don't want to mess with it. In terms of popularity, football smashes every... They polled people for why the NBA ratings are down. 38% said the league's become too political.

That's the number one reason. 28% said boring without fans. And 19% said China, which I'm guessing ties into too political. I remember at the start of the season, there was a big thing. I think they went to China and they couldn't criticize them

or couldn't say anything about Hong Kong, maybe. It was something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And some people are holding a grudge from that, I guess, but, uh,

good. I love it. And the politics thing into two. And so if there was no overlap there, that's like 57%. If I remember the numbers you said, right. Yeah.

Like that's, yeah, that was way more than I thought. Like when I saw the football thing, I was like, okay, that kind of, now the pieces are falling into place. I didn't know that there was a poll and it was thought. Like when I saw the football thing, I was like, okay, that cut it. Now the pieces are falling into place.

I didn't know that there was a pole and it was that. Yeah, I think. So I don't find it boring without fans. I like it just as much. It's separate but equal, kind of. Like that's how I see it. That's the UFC. Thank you, Woody.

Finally someone's bringing that back. That's how I see the UFC with no fans too. Like it's different. You know, I kind of wish i could choose which events had fans and which events didn't mcgregor events bring on the fans like there's there's no one more electrifying right but if i was to watch like weidman v silver rematch no fans i want to hear everything you know like they're not as electrifying. But on the NBA, I kind of like no fans just fine. I like no fans.

You know who's separate the most from them getting rid of that separate but equal thing? It was like plumbers unions. Suddenly half as many total bathrooms. Lost half their business. Yeah. I bet they were lobbying and they're like, why are you racist? We don't care one way or the other. Just make, every place needs four bathrooms.

We're trying to install water fountains here. Throw me a bone. Everybody should have multiple to choose from. It's ours. These goddamn plumbers, they're lobbying. It's looking to me like the NBA or the NFL season is going to fail anyway with so many, so many players getting COVID. I can't remember which team it was,

but they had a couple of players test positive, and then they had practices anyway with the positive players. So I'm pretty sure someone told me that the NFL may make them forfeit their next game and not even fucking play it, which is all fine by me because the Falcons are having a horrific year. The season's over. It's so bad. How many have they lost?

I stopped after they lost the second or third one in a row to open the season. And in the NFC East, you can't do that. You can't start 0-2 and have any kind of a season Wait I feel like that's backwards The NFC East kind of sucks right? No Yeah the Falcons are 0-4

Yeah the season's over They are tied for the worst team in the league But with three other teams. The Jets are terrible. The Houston Texans are terrible. The New York Giants are terrible. And the Atlanta Falcons are terrible. So the NFC East, the best team in the NFC East

is the Philadelphia Eagles with one win. Jesus Christ, look at this. How's that possible? This entire division. They also have a tie. 1-2-1. Washington, 1-3-0. Dallas, 1-3-0. New York Giants, 0-4-0. What a bizarre season. Who's winning? entire this entire they also have a tie one two and one washington one three and oh dallas one three and oh new york giants oh four and oh what a bizarre who's winning who's beating the other

the falcons are in the nfc south which is much more competitive ah that's what i meant meanwhile the nfc west looking good afc north looking I'll... I'm not going to start watching football. I don't know. The only sport that I'm aware of is baseball right now. That's the only sport that's happening. You said the video earlier, the Braves are headed to the... Divisional Series.

Division Series. Yeah. Well, they won the division. They're heading to the... Conference Finals or whatever it is. They're in the Final Four. The pennant, right? They're in the Final Four.

They should call it that. They should call it that. They're in the Final Four. The pennant, right? They're in the Final Four. They should call it that. They should call it that. They're about to play either the Padres or the Dodgers to decide who is the NL champion. Who would you prefer they play? Padres. Are they the worst team? Of the two, in my opinion,

I think we match up better against the Padres. That's how I admit the playoffs all the time. Sorry, you had more. Yeah, the Dodgers have a great offense. Who would you rather play? Whoever loses, really. I presume they're not as good as the team that won. I just want whoever loses.

Yeah, I want to play the worst team. I just want to get to the series. Let us get to a series. This is the first time in 19 years we've gotten this far. I have no sympathy for a team that made the playoffs like 20 years in a row or something outrageous like that. I think it's 14 or 15 playoff appearances in a fucking row and only one World Series out of all of that.

The Blues made the playoffs 27 years in a row and didn't win. That's a different sport. Just for clarification, 14 in a row is the record. That's pretty rough. Yeah. If that's the record, I didn't know that. It is the record. It's hard to make the playoffs in baseball. Yeah. 14 postseason appearances in a row

is the record. And then one World Series out of all of that. And going through the 90s with three Hall of Fame starting pitchers, Maddox, Glavin, and Smoltz. And still. And having a pretty decent offense. Bobby Cox is a piece of shit. He led us.

That small ball nonsense. Anyway. Small ball is a baseball term too? What does it mean? Playing for one run. Does it mean like rinky dink like in uh in basketball they have you play with your bigs or you can play with a small more mobile team and sometimes either one can be better yeah uh but but yeah we've got a good team this year um this ian anderson kid who's a starting pitcher seems to be just fucking lights out in the postseason. I want to say – so we've played four games because we've just 2-0'd both of the games that we've played.

Both of the opponents that we've played, we 2-0'd them. And I think we have three shutouts out of four games. And only one game has an opponent scored. So pitching has been just lights out. And this Ian Anderson kid is like 22 fucking years old. And they were like, this is his first postseason start ever. We're kind of worried about him. And he strikes out like 9 or 10 that game.

He could be the jordan bennington for you guys this year just some random fucking guy that ends up bringing it all together let's go atlanta i don't give a fuck the cardinals got out immediately i didn't even know the cardinals were in the playoffs until you told me they were out yeah i like this about taylor like if his team's out fuck it your team's his team now until the end of the playoffs. He's on board. I'm on board. I wanted Philly to do great after the Blues got knocked out.

I remember that. Yeah. When they got knocked out. Selfishly, I was like, if they win, Woody will keep watching and we can talk about hockey. Have you seen Washington? I'm psyched. It's rare that my team does well.

I've only got two teams, really. You're a Georgia fan. I'm a big Georgia fan. But look, I get when someone like you, Woody, comes from a place where your college team is just... Also receiving votes. Just dog shit. We beat the 23rd ranked team, Kyle.

We are proud of our accomplishments top five is just expected like if you're not in the top five if we're not in the top five like it's something's wrong like if we're not in the top five two or three years in a row it's time to fire a head coach it's time to talk about a new kind of offense you know it's it's big change time so that's not good enough six year win streak or a six year loss streak against georgia haven't won since 2013 not surprising you're right it's not when nc state has a number next to their name like you know it's not gonna last what's that number but it's 25 i mean kyle it can be as high as 20 or as low as 20.

But you're like, all right, we're 22nd now. I mean, obviously this won't last all season, but it's cool to be amongst the ranked. I start projecting. I'm like, man, now that we're ranked, we're going to get on TV. Once we get on TV, we're going to get better recruits. This is how a dynasty is built. You can't hit number one unless you hit number 22 first and then it that excitement lasts for like a week you go back to where you

belong college football is just the rich get richer it's like there's alabama georgia ohio state michigan lsu a couple just hanging out there clemson what came out of nowhere like i remember in clemson i remember when clemson hired Dabo Sweeney as their head coach. It's probably six, seven years ago now. And I listened to the local talk radio. Like, yeah, this guy's pretty good. We'll see if he can do anything. And Clemson was okay.

But now they're just like a perennial powerhouse. Like they're in the top three every fucking year. So it can be done. Yeah. You're right. It's the rich get richer but you can sort of start a trend that gets you to that point but clemson used to be rich right like it was the 80s or 90s or something clemson was a an elite team i think before my time i feel like if you've been elite it's way easier to return to it the hurricanes are an example of that i bet they'll be top team at some point.

And they're already good now, but like a top team. Yeah, maybe. Florida had a period where, that's Florida State, yeah. But Florida had a period where they kind of fell off a little bit. Now I think they're back-ish.

Does that sound right? Yeah, they had the Tim Tebow years, obviously, where they beat us like three or four years. God, was it four years in a row they beat us? Tim Tebow just wrecked you guys, huh? Tim Tebow wrecked us. He was so mobile. They had a great offense. We couldn't deal with it.

God was on his side. Of course, our quarterback, what's his name? Fucking Matt something or another. God didn't like him. Mark? Something with an M. Anyway anyway i think he's playing for the lions now who's the lions fucking qb no idea joe namath yeah it's matthew stafford uh yeah i took so much pleasure when tim tebow failed in the nfl then failed in minor league baseball

meanwhile matthew stafford has got a great contract and is doing well in Detroit. Wouldn't you want Tim Tebow to do well in the NFL so it would be like, see, that's why he beat us so bad? No, because they were playing this spread offense with a mobile quarterback that just doesn't work very well at the elite level. But it did work well against uh everybody in in college ball

and so watching that even then we were just like you'll get your comeuppance give it two three years the sun the sun won't shine so brightly on you you bitch nobody will be t-bowing anymore like doing that fucking striking that stupid prayer pose fucking christian piece of shit meanwhile his life is going he's like he's like not getting cte millionaire makes so much money what is tebow's source of income do you know uh he had a bunch of like sponsorship deals back in the day and then he did uh he does like commentate like commentating is he good i don't know i don't watch sports he commentates i just know that's something he does like commentate like commentating is he good i don't know i don't watch sports he commentates i just know that's something he does there's a fucking prayer every five minutes

god i hate people who are that fucking religious i i have friends that are religious and they're the best kind of religious like it's their own personal the kind of like they even know they're not really religious no like they don't like to use curse words right but they don't like project that upon you you know like you use a curse word and it's like that that's just you you know like it's not that like they don't they don't take their personal rule set and extend it to what your rule set should be it's just their own personal code and it they're great people to be around. Do you have friends or family, either of you, that subject you to that pre-meal

prayer? Yeah. Yeah, I have some family that does that. It doesn't really... Is it quick or is it... And Lord, thank you for Uncle Jimmy's new hat. It keeps the sun out of his eyes on him hot days.

And Uncle Jimmy's over there like, preach! Preach! He's got the hat. He thanks God for the hat. He's gone for the straw hat. Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord, for that UV protection of my wonderful hat. Woo! Yes, sir!

My mom's out of the family. Going off on the hat. Never pray for me. I'm okay if it's a quick prayer like like you know i want this food bless our family camaraderie friendship family love so go if kyle's probation ends we should do the pka live show at taylor's grandmother's house i'm inviting myself here live on the show but that would be so awesome. We could film a meal. I don't know.

And I want Taylor to do the prayer. You know what's funny about that? My grandparents on that side of my family don't even pray. It's my dad's side that does it, but they do what you say, Kyle. No, they're still religious. I was saying they will be offended. If I was like, hey, the people I do the podcast with

are coming to hang out for a day or two and do the show and eat and everything, they'd be like, that is so much fun. It'll be nice to meet them. You're going to record it here? Is there a place quiet enough where I don't have to hear the words you're saying? I know that you say things.

That would be my concern. Recording is there. do it from the barn my grandparents can hear us and i don't want them to know what this show's about they literally said they refuse to listen to it because they don't want to know and i've told them for the best listen to it yeah it's for the best yeah um dude i would do that yeah i have a related story i was i called my mom or something and i forget how it came up or whatever but she's like yeah i'll have to watch the show so my mind starts spinning i'm like that's the one where we talked about the birth and the stitching and i told landmark about my mom's undercarriage i'm like oh god i hope she doesn't watch the show

yeah talk about your mom getting one of those husband stitches yeah yeah sorry mom i got carried away i i never know how to respond like if it's like a friend of a friend it's like hey you do that podcast right and it's like who's asking did you like it no then i'm not a different guy i'm a different guy i don't i always like people like i don't know it seems like every doctor wants to know what you do and to me that like that's kind of a private question i don't want to talk about what i do but uh you know if they get out of me that i do a podcast oh what is it what is it i'm like no no no no no you're a good person my podcast isn't for good people it's not for you it's for bad people like you guys listening yeah you just have to people are horrible

answer about what the drugs of society the lowest ofregs of society. The lowest of the low. Did they never ask a follow-up? They're like, what do you do? It's like, I administer rape kits. All right, just go ahead and breathe deep for me. All right. The last conversation coming out of you today. I administer

rape kits. No, no, no. Add one more. I administer pediatric rape kits. Add one more. I administer pediatric rape kits. I do it like Patch Adams. I got a clown nose on. Everybody's having a good time.

Got a little diddling going on here, huh? Maybe so, maybe so. We'll find out. Are you crying? Are you still crying? Oh, because of me. Oh. Just trying to show you a good time.

God, you didn't like it that much, I'm going to kill myself. That's not funny. No, that was funny. Pediatric rape, kids. So, real quick. Yeah, throw the sponsor in right after that. I just realized the sponsor and we're gonna do a different topic space between pediatric rape kit doctor

we're gonna hold off on that we've got a great new movie for you it's a lot like patch adams except you you perform pediatric rape kits. Jesus fucking Christ. That's got to be. I'd rather clean up the fucking horrible, ghoulish death scenes we were talking about earlier than that. Oh, no. I definitely would prefer. Yeah, yeah.

I'd clean up the scenes. You would be the most depressed person on earth with that job. With which one? With the rape kid administration. Well, maybe you get a few that you're like, ah, no rape? That's a happy day.

Every day is a bad day. He's just burnt out. Turns out it's just ugly. It's not trauma at all. That's just bad genetics. Now are you ripping on kids because they're ugly in the middle of it?

Well, I have ugly pussies, man. Yeah, no, he's ripping on pediatric cunts. Pussies, yeah. I'm saying maybe the child has an ugly vagina and the nurse mistook a hideous pediatric pussy for uh genital trauma i read that sounds real that's the scenario i'm describing i'm tracking i read a 4chan post saying that all young girls had like innies and that somehow during puberty it changes this i it got me curious i'm not sure if this is true and it's very sketched to research this topic. I don't know if it's true or not. Yeah, I think like the labia are – I think they grow into their final form.

Just so we're clear, Woody, researching that topic is child pornography. Yeah, yeah. That's why it's difficult to research. Woody has so much documentation on this he didn't even have to go into the archive and he's like he's got so much documentation we didn't have to do a single google search i keep it in binders so the feds can't catch binders and binders yeah if tucker were on, he would have left 10 minutes ago. I don't know. I think maybe it's like when you're a tiny boy, you've got a tiny penis.

And then as you hit puberty, it grows into its final form for some of us. And I think maybe the labia do something similar. I mean, it makes sense. I mean, puberty hits and everything changes. Because you never saw a baby with an audi the context was this like dumb men were saying that like uh you know meaty labia was a symptom of having sex with lots of different people yeah and the girl's tail yeah the girl is like no no no this just happens in puberty and you know it has nothing to do with how many dicks have been in there yeah and uh i was like oh like i don't know i never thought about it really like what children's fullness look like but uh me either that's all

i think about i mean in my position as a pediatric baby kid administrator, I got tiny pussy on the brain all the time. It's just hate on the hands. That's my bread and butter. That's how you... Jesus Christ. Come on. Yeah, Taylor, what's the joke?

Tell us about your joke, Taylor. That one's staying in the chamber. Write it down, write it down. If I remember, I'll write it down. I'll say it. In the Discord. We got to move on to something else so we get that ad read in.

Oh, God damn. Ad's going to have to hang on for a minute. I've been on tiny pussies for far too long. Yeah, there was no good amount of time to be on that. No there wasn't so kyle you taught me and i actually looked it up afterwards and it's true the symptoms of the steroid that trump is on are mania euphoria and delusions of grandeur my favorite one you anything i know he's been on it for three years like mania like look at his twitter yeah like he will get manic and i love like i really like his cadence and tweets it's

funny like his little like awful we're gonna take back michigan she's the worst and like just like little space force worst fucking cunt or whatever like he he does it like in a way i guess the reason i like it is because you can tell that it's him like most politicians you're like that's just some guy taking a draft out of the saved file and hitting tweet where it's like the trick to the country is we're too far apart and we need to come in together because of togetherness. And it's like, come on, Ted Cruz, who cares about that? Trump will straight up be like, and she's ugly, too. Like I could picture an intern being like a tweet. Really, Mr. President?

He's like, give me the goddamn phone. He shit me shit me yeah tweet like this won't even make the news did you see what i said before it yeah how funny would it be if i found out that trump was like using twitter to troll for pussy this whole time oh like anthony wiener they do remember anthony wiener get for people probably someone doesn't remember uh this guy confused his tweets with his dms and he tweeted out a pic of his dick but like behind underwear like his bulge to this i think she was underage do i have that part right i recall i'm pretty sure he shot he showed his full penis to an underage person i think that was the yeah that was the thing oh yeah, it could be. I've seen this man's dick. Oh, I've

only seen it through the bulge in his underwear. I've seen the cock. It looked like he had a semi to me. I'm pretty sure I saw a hard cock. He was excited to send the photo. Well, here we go. Anthony Wiener dick pic. Wiener's Wiener.

What am I doing googling this? This is a Bing question. Alright, everybody else looks with an unimpressive chub. Where's Sidney? The girl he's sending? Oh, here he is. Yeah, link that shit. Let's see. Let's get the

facts on this four-year-old story. Yeah, there's one of him in the shower. Is he in jail, or did they just kind of like he was powerful enough that they just ignored it? I thought he got locked up. You're right. Bing's the way to go. I keep getting censored photos of this man's penis.

Well, link what you find. Okay. Oh. Well, link what you find. Okay. Well, no, there's dick pics here. They're not great ones. They're straight up top down. Yeah, he's not a pro at this. No, he doesn't know what he's doing. Not like me.

Yeah, I always get Woody to take mine. It's a team effort, but you know, I have a knack for it. The lighting is just blind. People think bigger's better, but when you have a massive subject,

you can't scare her away. You just have to show her that this is going to be a good ride. That's right. I don't even know which one it is. I just know if you bing anthony wiener penis glory holes yeah so many tremendous amount of gay glory holes on this page and i don't see anthony wiener i have the bulge i i found the bulge pic that now that one i'm almost positive is true um i i probably can't show it on the show but yeah that that's how i recall it i don't know if there was an actual bear dick and then he nearly

made a political comeback in like 2013 what do you run for was it mayor something was it in new york it was mayor it was new york mayor jesus and uh i don't know if he was leading but he was like competitive he's making he was a contender for sure he was a contender for sure and uh taylor are you gonna hold every pedophile like incident against someone that's just an outrageously short window of time where they're like, this guy's done a naked picture of 15-year-olds. And like 18 months later, they're like, Annie, that's my guy.

He's gonna let us all do it. Legalize it! They have a big legalize it march. No one has a pot sign. It's just dicks it's just signs with dicks on them i yeah i legit rage uh good luck on the timeline and not getting us age gated or whatever for this one you got some you got some work to do appreciate your efforts

yeah um what was i gonna say uh yeah i don't know he'd like he was really good being interviewed on like cnn and fox and stuff like that he was like a democratic star if uh if he just wasn't a pedophile and that i'm told that sometimes pedophiles do well in prison now of course most time they don't it's sort of well known but they're very charismatic people. You need to be charismatic to be a successful pedophile. And they employ that same skill set in prison, I'm told. And every once in a while, you know, they're useful and people like them. And they get over the stigma. They're great people.

I don't know about that. Some say the best. Best people. Some of the best best people. Well, it doesn't seem like his comeback is going to come to fruition because I haven't even thought about anything. No.

You try to thin out that herd as best you can. Just the guys from my podcast. What an absurd question. When did you stop associating with pedophiles? Around the same time I started beating my wife. Is he in jail now?

I'm trying to figure out. I thought he was. I thought he was. It's been a while, though. It's been an old story. He began serving in November 2017, released February 2019. Okay. Oh.

Five-day-old article. Anthony Weiner is getting a second chance as the CEO of a countertop company. What? How is he getting handed these opportunities? Where's he going to countertoptop it's big dick energy a year ago maybe i wasn't thinking boy i'd like to talk about environmentally sustainable countertops but now it's my passion i bet it is this guy fucking sucks i get very interesting reactions from people who love the product go get them not crazy about you but the countertops are great. That's what they say about Anthony.

You know what else this countertop is great for is putting your dick on it and taking a picture. I've made my mistakes. I paid a price for those mistakes, but compared to what a lot of people go through, I'm doing fine. So, yeah, the man's all about environmentally sustainable countertops. I paid a high price for my crimes, but if you don't want to pay a high price for some brand new countertops, come on down to Mike's Countertops and More. We've got Formica, granite, marble. Soundproofing for your room.

All sorts of fun and interesting things. These are sturdy as they can be. Look at little Stacy here. She fits right up on there, don't you, Stacy? Yay! Gumball machine streamers, inflatable animals. It's like, there's really not many countertops in this warehouse. It's a lot of zip ties.

It looks like they take some sort of bead, melt it into a countertop, coat it in such a way that it looks like granite, and it's called Ice Stone. Environmentally sustainable countertops. They look okay to to me i don't know how they held up it just goes to show that no matter what you do you serve your time as long as you have a ceo position waiting for you as you leave how is granite not environmentally sustainable right are we running out of granite is there we're definitely not there's plenty of granite my brother-in-law owns a granite company um they're not running out there's like an infinite amount of itite my brother-in-law owns a granite company um they're not running out

there's like an infinite amount of it so my countertops are made from the ivory of elephant tusks is that bad no it actually encourages the elephants to have babies faster and they i'm gonna have to make a few calls i was a little worried about getting out of this probation but now you can put your ear to the countertop and hear the wailing of the elephant. What's the difference between probation and parole? I don't know the difference. I don't know if the parole even exists anymore. But probation is.

So I think parole is something where if you're in prison, you can come up for parole occasionally, and there is a parole board which can determine if you're rehabilitated enough to be released. Yes. Whereas probation is something that the judge prescribes. He's like, all right, you'll get, in my case, two months of prison and two years of probation. And it's a probationary period in which certain um restrictions are applied to the person you know in my case obviously travel restrictions and uh uh drug testing and um is there any i wondered maybe they want to drug test you one last time and if you pass you get out free is that a thing anyone thinks of get out free like you're talking

about ending your probation early i have this idea in my head they're like all right kyle surprise drug test if you pass it you're done that's probably not how it works i doubt they'll test me again but i obviously haven't done anything so i'm down but uh i don't know i think they're filing the paperwork as we speak. Not literally as we speak, but today. So I think they just send in some paperwork, and then the judge either says yes or no, and then that's it. Good luck.

Maybe we do the last ad now. Try to slip it. Yeah, I got a nice little buffer between. I don't want to ruin it again. And we do have a post, so remember that. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Blue Chew. Let's talk about something we could all use more of right now, sex. Great sex.

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But I'm with you now. I'm tracking. I'm there. I arrived. You've already left the station I'm with you now. I'm tracking. I'm up there. I arrived. You've already left the station for the next thing, but I'm here. But yeah, give yourself a hard dick and be wary of trains and make a website on Squarespace.

Our responses couldn't be less related to each other tonight. No. No. Yeah, these have nothing to do with our audience. Who listens to this show? What's the target audience? Fuck if I know.

You'll get bills and don't challenge trains. Yeah, don't challenge trains, you'll lose. Which one has the post roll? Trains. Trains. I'm getting a little reminder about train safety i love the train safety reminder all our sponsors are fun but how when's the last time someone died of a train incident ah matt hughes had a problem

he's a ufc fighter call it three years ago got very hurt challenging a train or something yes he did he got fucked up. He deaths by train per year. Too many. Oh, are we on NHTSA? No, no. I was curious. Huge. Over a thousand people died from trains in the 90s every year.

If only they weren't so quiet and stealthy. People don't hear him coming. It's the most embarrassing way to die. What happened to him? He was ambushed by a train. Choo choo. Choo choo. He tried to hide on the tracks.

He couldn't do it. I'm not going to make fun of our sponsor. We're not making fun of them. No, we're not. Because we just confirmed that 1100 people died per year in the 90s about train deaths what is it have the numbers been updated at all or is that just the page you found that is the page i found how many people died by train annually up still about a thousand a year that's it's more than i would have guessed you know what would bring it down advertising on pka we're gonna fix this problem. You know what would bring it down? Advertising on PKA. We're going to fix this problem, boys.

Yep, we're going to take it down. Look out for trains. 900, 800, 700, 600. They usually hang around train tracks. Unless you come across a shifty engineer. Railroad crossings. Places like that.

What would happen if a train tried to get off? Like say the train wasn't on the track. It was just on the street. I guess it would sink into whatever. Don't you remember that guy did that? He tried to hit that fucking pandemic saving Navy ship with a train. Oh yeah. He ran it off the tracks and was hoping it would like run on asphalt and dirt for like another 800 yards or something.

And then I guess go aquatic fucking Navy vessel. And in reality, it just stopped like 40 yards after the train tracks. Stop that fast, huh? It looked like it like it wasn't far. It wasn't like hundreds of yards. Are there any normal surfaces a train could ride on where it wouldn't just dig in and plow? They're so heavy. And the wheels are metal and grooved.

They cup over the track. I don't think that's how they work. They're just tilted, right? There's like a groove. They have a lip that goes over the side. Yeah. That keeps them secure. Yeah, this guy didn't even get close. He got lip that goes over the side. Yeah. That keeps him secure. Yeah.

This guy didn't even get close where he, he got pretty far away from the tracks. Actually. It went away is after he derailed it. What an idiot. What an absolute. Not quite far enough though. Stole a train.

Very inefficient method of what is kind of terrorism. Seizing a train. You can't escape. There's a lip in the middle of the tracks that keeps it centered. And then I'm pretty sure the wheel is not flat like you think it is. It's cone-shaped, and that's what makes it turn and stay on the track. There's a YouTube video that explains it really well. Why don't we have those cool magnetic trains like the Japanese have?

Ooh. I get everything cool. Magnet trains, atomic bombs, panty vending machines. I don't think they make atomic bombs. No, but they got to experience them. They did. They're familiar. They are familiar with the technology.

I didn't know enough to say if they had atomic bombs or not. I think they actually do have some. I think maybe we gave them some. Vavity is over there, one of our $50 patrons. He's in Japan right now. Really? Is he for a year stationed there? I don't know how long um but he's there for some

period of time you know with the he's in the armed forces and uh and he's gonna be over there for a while everybody in the uh the the patreon discord was like you're gonna slay so much cash it's like yeah maybe we'll see he's single yeah so yeah he might yeah over there he could be fetishized yeah that's what you want who um oh my friend went to mexico he's a para friend of mine and apparently they fetishized he's asian and he they were just his picture's still up in a restaurant over there they thought he was the coolest thing oh my god have you seen that video of the pretty blonde woman in india yes and like like there's like literally 50 indian men trying to take selfies with her really and they don't mind that it's them and 49 other indian men's taking a selfie

they're all just got their phones up like click, click, click, click, click. And she's just like, okay. And then she's at the beach. She's just like, well, I'm just hanging out at the beach. Me and these guys. And she turns the phone around and there's literally 25, 30 men standing about 10 yards. Yeah, let's watch it. Oh, it's great.

You're right. She's very pretty alright I'm ready on selfie rampage in Mumbai India ready set play she's trying to be polite getting accosted look at that guy fixing his hair

I didn't catch that but there's just too many people to be polite to yeah it's India why do they want this picture she's won 100 rupees for each picture oh I wish it showed the second part where she's at the beach and they're just standing, staring at her like 20, 30 feet away.

There's 1.4 billion people in India. How many blondes? One. So that's like a real novelty over there. They're like, geez, look at that. Bob Zanvajian. Bob Zanvajian. Do you know how many Facebook profile pictures were just made about 80 yeah

about 80 and then probably like a couple hundred actually because some other indian guy will photoshop on there that's like bollywood borders it's my new girlfriend my new girlfriend there's like a class of socially awkward indian people online that's just next level i i don't know why that happens you're not wrong no you definitely see or maybe it's you know that's you think that because that's what you see but and also you need an indian guy in our fucking uh patreon group because we've got most of the like you know races and classes and creeds represented we got several gay guys we got a couple of girls uh you know and a couple black guys we get to you know for the kind of show we do it's honestly hilariously diverse it's like a un in there sometimes it really is like all over

the world there's guys from like various countries it there sometimes it really is like all over the world there's guys from like various countries it'll be five in the morning three in the morning eight in the afternoon uh eight in the morning and you know they're in there uh when we're doing the thing and it's everything from like oh yeah i own my own company we make circuit boards for dell or some shit and then the other guy would be like i'm just hanging out there's you know dianitarian he's in there there's a fucking mattress leaned against the wall behind him then the next guy's over there just drinking 15 beers out of a beer stein until he's laying there passed out dude has fucking kids he's he's part black. He's drunk.

He's like, you gotta see my black girlfriend's ass. Get in here! Show him your ass! And you just hear her across the house, no! You get in here and show him your fat ass! No! I'm like, y'all let me know if she

comes and shows the ass. I'm all tabbed out. I'm all tabbed out. I'm all tabbed out. People Facebook Reddit is so funny. You've mentioned it to me before, and I've never really gone on it, but I just linked one I saw. It's this white guy or Indian guy in like a white shirt. Yeah, white supremacy.

Yeah, and his hashtag is white supremacy. Wearing a white shirt. This one says, new car for my stupid whore wife. Hashtag I hate my wife. Yeah. Most of us will be married with kids by the end of the next decade. You understand how scary that is? Yes, it is scary because marrying kids

is illegal in my country. That's funny. Born on someone's birthday but this is is this real this guy's profile on tinder says girlfriend hunter oh yeah they don't master the english language before they start trying to do social media hunter this guy's got he's got like his bollywood things his college and he's got his like prom get up says come on let's love each girl equally for college oh these this is funny i'm probably reading stuff that's so fucking old though that people are like what the hell are you

doing mr internet boomer yeah i i really like the uh the patreon hangout hangouts honestly like like just seeing the wacky group of people that we've got in there yeah it's fun i enjoy a very interesting conversation what did that guy do that i banned the one that he what did he do to deserve it no no what did he do for a living do we know yeah he's security guard um at like a grocery store or something there was one guy causing a ruckus amongst everybody but i don't know no one liked him but then he talked about my family and now he's gone it's the way she goes bubs yeah. Sometimes she goes and sometimes she don't. What do you mean sometimes she goes?

You had to fucking bet every penny you had. He lost all their liquor money. Jesus Christ. That's a good impression. He's doing the eyes too. Yeah, the eyes. Jesus, Rick. I don't think I can smoke that much pot

and still watch my kiddies. I so want to get high and re-watch the trailer for Far Boys. I can't watch it sober. I tried the other day. It's no good. It's just not quite the same show, is it? It's not quite the same show. You really need to be... For some weird reason in college, that show was

tremendous. Every episode. Now, I just never have the urge for some reason for like a decade it was just hilarious every day all day it was hilarious whenever i'd turn it on it was hilarious and then suddenly for the last like year and a half two years not so much yeah there's a very sudden change oh god what is kate mulgrew up to not a star trek voyager actress kate mulgrew to reprise iconic role of captain janeway on nickelodeon's star trek prodigy is that a cartoon animated series yes yeah never mind i don't want to see that. Yeah, I didn't realize. I just saw the headline and

didn't think that. But yeah, you're right. Hmm. Kate's portrayal of Captain Janeway is truly iconic and it has resonated with a global audience for many years. No. None of that's true. None of that's true. It wasn't iconic. It didn't resonate.

It was one note and she was fucking spastic as hell her personality shifted three times throughout the four times throughout the series wildly she became a different person every time the writers needed her to be did you hate neelix too everyone hates fucking neelix everyone's hates fucking neelix like like i i i flipped by it on netflix the other day and they've got like that picture of the whole cast kind of posing together in their uniforms. And I was just like, piece of shit, wasted character,

boring, no backstory, not interesting, had two good episodes, big titties, I like you, and black Vulcan. It was just like, it was such a bad show I love Star Trek it's one of my favorite things ever but who's good on Voyager um I really like Seven of Nine obviously yes not only she's super sexy uh played by Jerry Ryan but uh I liked kind of her character's growth from like you know learning to be a human again and learning to socialize and date and all that stuff. I like the doctor.

He had a very similar thing where he grew from this emergency medical hologram into a person. By the end of it, he's his own man. He got that mobile hollow emitter thing. So even though he's a hologram, he can go anywhere without being locked into the med bay. Chakotay. Chakotay's kind of wasted. He can go anywhere without being locked into the med bay. Chakotay is kind of wasted. He was cool. I liked him. I kind of liked the Native American thing. He was also a boxer. That was like

his hobby. He never really got expanded upon. They immediately flipped that switch. The show was supposed to be about how the Maquis, which are about like how the you know rivals the maquis which are terrorists and the federation crew both lost half their crews and now they've got to integrate into one and they're supposed to be this tension all the time they get over that in

two episodes it's like all right now we're all gonna be fucking button up federation officers forget all that terrorism thing that we were doing for years and years and our hatred for the Federation. We're all officers now. And then B'Elanna Torres, you know, the engineer, the half Klingon engineer, she's just got anger issues. That's her entire character arc. I'm on my period 24-7, and I'm a cunt. And then Harry Kim is just like baby-d asian man who's gonna be a fucking uh

ensign for for like like he's the most accomplished ensign in the history of the federation like like he's he's led his own missions and flown ships and single-handedly won victories it's hard to get promoted in the von voyager right like yeah they'd all be commanders by the end yeah um and then what tom paris kind of a cool character but they really just turned him into a pussy that hangs out in the holodeck and plays plays like 1940s action hero and is balana's husband by the end that that's his that's all he is when he started out as a kind of a cool character that actually was originally a Star Trek The Next Generation character from an episode where he was friends with Wesley Crusher at the Academy. And they did this illegal flight thing. And another guy got killed.

But they changed his name, kept the same backstory essentially because uh they didn't want to like pay the original writers who wrote his character uh like twice so they just gave him a new name um and neelix is garbage as fuck you know if you look at next generation how they've got like whoopi goldberg playing gynon really great character. You're always like, like she was the real counselor on the ship because fucking, uh, the, the actual counselor was just a piece of shit. Neelix is awful though.

And Kes was even worse. His child bride, like Kes is part of his race of people. Taylor who lived to be like five years old. So by three, they're, they're fucking and they're, they look like a grown woman and neelix just has this like three-year-old girlfriend that i assume he's fucking with

his gross spotted alien cock whenever he wants and she's gonna die at five yeah but they wrote her out when she got to about four they had her become some sort of like was she elderly at that point no they never did they had her become some sort of like was she elderly at that point no they never did that she like became some sort of like super being and like floated away and went to explore the galaxy as an apparition is leonardo dicaprio what about what he would like that species because he gets a new girl every time they age at all every five years they die and then he only had the one child alien with him yeah yeah yeah terrible show terrible fucking show um i hated it i watched it all i've seen it all twice how'd you do that you know terrible show if you like bad

shows you should watch uh yeah if you like bad shows check you should watch Raised by Wolves. Yeah, if you like bad shows, check out Star Trek Voyager. Watch all seven or eight seasons or whatever the fuck there is. You've watched eight seasons of a show you don't like twice? At least. Yeah, twice. Yeah. I watched it as it came out. Deep Space Nine is the best.

Deep Space Nine is by far the best. Next Generation is the second best. And then Star Trek Enterprise is the best. Deep Space Nine is by far the best. Next Generation is the second best. And then Star Trek Enterprise is just okay. And Star Trek, the original series, you can't even stand to watch. It's so goofy. And then Voyager is like what we just said, just pretty fucking bad.

And I will not watch that new Star Trek because I just won't. I just won't. I like the new movies. People don't. I'm not normal, I guess, but I like them. Wait, what? So I have not read

this, but I just looked at the article title and it says security flaw left smart, quote unquote, chastity sex toy users at risk of permanent lock-in. And so I guess this chastity device fucked up for some people

and it may have just never opened again. And then I guess you have to saw it off? Yeah, I read this. One of the guys, I guess his mouth malfunctioned in some way and they said he was left with some scarring because he cut it off oh by himself oh my god i'd be like hello lock picking lawyer i need a hand see it's electronic though so that

that that's that's what makes this this one uses a uh an app so it's like a keyless entry. How is this more convenient? How is this more convenient? I think the idea would be that whoever is controlling it could control it from a distance. Oh. I...

That's dumb. I don't get the humiliation thing. I'm not kink-shaming. Do you? the humiliation thing. I'm not kink shaming. You do you. But humiliation is the opposite of what turns me on. Yeah. At least humiliating me.

That's not cool at all. It's funny. Look at the picture at the top. It looks like you weigh the key card in front of it for it to undo. Where it says sell me. No, I think it uses a phone app. I'm sure. I wonder if it has other features like LED lights, vibrations.

We need a little RGB on it. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't want vibrations because you can't get an erection. Yeah. Some of them have electrodes in them so that the other person can electrocute your penis. oh yeah you wouldn't want vibrations because you're you can't get an erection yeah some of them have uh electrodes in them so that so that the other person can electrocute your penis you're into that that's the opposite of what i'm into how many times have you had your penis electrocuted woody i'm no touche i don't know i just go i'm into pleasure you sick i mean

for all you know the greatest pleasure a man can feel is having his penis electrocuted that's not possible absolutely possible you read your penis shocked god no and i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to wear a shocking device like this and have somebody zap you of course not if i'm gonna have a remote controlled sex toy it should be some sort of fleshlight not a chastity belt oh they make some really good um what's it called i had i had hang on let me see which app it is which app it is well i've got a half dozen of them no i'm serious it's called uh this is my sex toy folder where i keep all the apps yeah it's love sense it's this app um oh that's that um the tail one right like the tail so there's three there's three products they have they have the pink tail that you've probably seen

like every ethot with one of those inner vag with like this little tail hanging out of her pussy there's like an egg in there uh vibrating and the tail vibrates too but they also make two plugs a medium and a large and uh you can control them from any distance in the world or up close and personal with your phone and it's not just like high medium low it's like you can create these you've got like a slider where you can like increase the intensity symphony in these you that you say that you can set it up to vibrate to music. So you can open your fucking Spotify. Yeah, you can.

Exactly. Those are the kind of songs that are best. You put on some fucking nine-inch nails or something. It's like... And the vibrator is like... I bet it sounds like the song a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, it does sound like the song a little bit. Yeah. It does sound like the song a little bit.

You can download pre-programmed, not pre-programmed, user-created patterns. They'll have silly names like Eternal Ecstasy or Maximum Climax or some shit like that. They have these vibratory

patterns that the toy will do then. They're very expensive. That's for the vibrating toy. Sex toys are oddly expensive. These are the most expensive sex toys I've ever bought. I want to say each plug was like $150. Yeah, sex toys cost that much oftentimes. Yeah, it's a lot when you multiply

I wanted the collection oh no silly me I just hit Tina's button I was looking for that's funny you got all of them in different rooms in your house and you're making them make different noises it's pretty fun yeah you absolutely can do that

you can't control multiple of them at a time, like simultaneously. But what about the fleshlight idea Woody had? Because the women's remote control idea is fun. They're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. Where's the fun one for the guys? Where's the remote acts? Because you can't really do that.

Because you can't have a fleshlight around your dick sitting in Denny's. You'll go to jail. Yeah, I think that taylor don't let them figure out why kyle really spent two months in prison it's gonna get out and why i'm banned from denny's no you can leave the the grand slam meal on the desk. I'll grab it. Your fan from Walworths. I don't know if it was just that one or the whole chain. I tried a different one. Didn't work.

I don't want a flashlight or an auto blow or anything like that. They haven't come up with any. That technology is still in its infancy. When they've got a full-on blowjob machine that actually does a thing there's a japanese one yeah have you seen it it's for like sperm donations yes we've looked at that before we're like you walk over and it's just you stick your dick in a hole and it like milks you and then you walk away that's literally from the movie 1984 are you serious yeah you haven't read it remember it. We've looked at it on the show. Oh, that's awful.

That shouldn't exist. I'll tell you what I just bought. I bought one of those dental school dummies. For the purpose of? Mouth fucking. Oh. You know what? Did you save money on that compared to like a real doll?

Yeah, I'll show you. Let me see. Did you save money on that compared to a real doll? Yeah, I'll show you. Let me see. Did you save money with the male version? Yeah, the whiskers tickle, though. Don't touch it, you weirdo. He's poking it. He's touching the dick hole. You know what? I would not feel

comfortable being in line for this. You want to imagine that you're the first person to use that so you don't get cum on your day. I'm sure they have a little plastic condom on there. Yeah, I ordered this. What the fuck is this?

Jesus Christ. Yeah, play it play it this media cannot be played let me watch it open it on there's no audio for me but I you don't need audio I mean she's not screaming you gotta pay extra for that dude this is

awful it's awful right dude Taylor's being judgy why does a dental doll need eyelashes i don't want to stick my finger in the audience yeah yeah ah you stick your dick in there she blinks She's got big eyelashes She's like Russian roulette She's looking all over the place Why can't it just be a dental So where do you get something like this It was $8,700

No motorcycle for me I blew all the cash on Komatsu here But she'll be here in 3-6 weeks And We'll start over You ordered a functioning one So it'll have a normal mouth

I ordered this one I wanted the one that goes haywire Yeah it turns out that's a malfunctioning dental school robot Yeah I got a discount Malfunctioning dental school robot. Yeah, I got a discount. Malfunctioning dental school robot. $3,700.

Can you imagine? What a great conversation piece. If you just had it sitting on the couch and it was just sitting there like, ah, ah. And every now and then you'd like give it a Cheeto or something. Yeah. All you tell them about it when they ask is like, I'm not a dentist, you know. Kyle thinks Taylor's going to share his Cheetos. That's not happening. Just sitting there covered in powder and dust.

Eating it. I was thinking Cheez-Its. That's his weakness. Oh, Cheez-Its. That's my jam. I wouldn't share my Cheez-Its with it. Did you see that picture today on Reddit of the the guy smoking uh weed out of a shark no was it a real live like yeah shark from the ocean baby shark you know like like this big like i don't know two two two and a half feet

long maybe and i'm pretty sure it's dead but he like punched a hole in the top of its head like back behind where the brain would be and then um he put a a stem with a bowl like in the top of its nose area and uh and so he and he and he put a pipe in the hole that he stuck in the back of its head too and he's got weed in the in the front and he's lit it and he's he's smoking out of a fucking shark he's using the shark's entire body as a marijuana do you know how terrifying it would be if there was an animal on earth that did that to us yeah it would be awful I'd hate it you'd love it come on

no there's no way this is on YouTube smoke you're muted what is that I don't know why I didn't change it to mute is this mute key I thought I said it to M Jim

it keeps happening I got the video I got the video is it not exactly what I described I don't know. I got the video. Oh, it's a big movie. Look at the thumbnail. Is it not exactly what I described? I don't know, Woody. You don't realize how much you use M.

Like every word. Yeah. All right. I'm ready to go. Oh, I'm just bouncing around and listening. You go ahead and play it. But yeah. I'll still.

Oh, no. There's a video here. Let me know when you play it taylor all right i'm ready all right three two one play i did see the graphic content quick and the kid looks like he's 14 the kid looks very young look his shirt says fried fishing i didn't notice that so he's yeah he's he's it's exactly what i described he's got a pipe stuck in like behind the fin and he's got a hole right in the top of his phone and it works he's like fuck yeah oh and and that song and the and he's doing it to the tune of baby shark that's the song that's playing by the way you know it's funny and he's doing it to the tune of baby shark that's the song that's playing by the way you know it's funny as he's doing this he's advertising his facebook group

yeah man i can i can i that's gross it's fried a term for stoned like yeah yeah yeah the comments are great this guy must have been smoking seaweed the real offense is that he didn't pass this guy's smithing 100 alchemy 100 he smoked that's so funny that usually this would be a video it's like flooded with people like what the hell man but everybody's like haha like every single person in the comments this guy goes people eat dogs people kill whales why can't he use a dead shark as a bomb it's very true that guy's speaking speaking truth to power in the youtube comment section all the literally all the comments are here saying like nobody's offended by this this is bullshit that

the media is even saying this is offensive. It's ridiculous and funny. There's nobody out there defending this dead shark. And it's hilarious the dude's smoking weed out of it. I just found a video of a guy using a hammerhead as a beer bong. No, you didn't. Yes, it did. It was right in the related comments.

Give me a sec, though, because I haven't watched it. Oh, it it's a news report i can't wait to hear what shark abuse you want to sync up on this or no guys no i'm gonna like bounce it around and stuff and try to not get copyrighted oh god so they pour the bill the beer in the gills yeah and then they show some of the most terrifying footage of act of living sharks you've ever seen to like try to get some sympathy for this like the they show like a fucking terrifying shark with like literally with jagged teeth just hanging out of its mouth like don't you feel sorry that someone beer bonged a hammerhead no don't you a little

no like it doesn't seem wrong to use dead animals this way it's still alive i think this one is still alive i guess it likes it i don't i don't think there's anything that you can do to a dead animal that i will have an issue with yeah i't care. As long as you don't rape a human being with the dead animal, I'm okay. Oh, well, never mind. Yeah. Oh, that's where you draw the line, huh? When it comes to my fetish.

You can do what I like. Yeah, like we eat dead animals. We literally carve them into chunks, burn them with fire, and consume them. Yeah, we all ate some today. We all carved them into chunks, burned them with fire, and consumed them. Yeah, we all ate some today. We all ate an animal today. Or multiple.

Chicken. Beef. Chicken and pork. Look at that. We're all murderers in our own right. I had this scramble bowl for breakfast with grilled chicken and eggs. Think about how fucked that is. That's that's pretty funny man is there any way for a species to just get more owned chickens we're just like yeah we're gonna take your adult flesh and mix it with your

baby bodies go fuck yourself what are you gonna do no you're gonna live in your own shit until you break your leg because I like my breasts tender. Then I'm going to drag you out and throw you in a five-gallon bucket. We're going to genetically modify you until you can hardly breathe and you're a shadow of your former self, just all breast and I don't know. You're a dinosaur. I mean, think about what a cheeseburger is. Yeah, it's like 100 hundred different pieces of different cows all ground.

You take the breast milk from the animal and then turn it into cheese and then put that on the animal's meat. Yeah. It's good. It's fantastic, yeah, but I do get the awfulness of it. So when I see somebody beer bonging

with a hammerhead forgive me if like i don't flinch if i think that like i don't i don't want to do that because it seems a little gross but if someone did that next to me i would be like i'd take a selfie you know with it yeah something about the the unmutilated fish though is a little obvious what you're dealing with, right? Whereas I can lie to myself about a cheeseburger. A cheeseburger, I don't know. They just come from cheeseburger farms, I assume.

Where they're grown from the ground and fertilized. But a fish, that's clearly the same thing I saw swimming. Yeah, I don't care. It's a shark. I don't care about fish or sharks.. I don't care about fish or sharks. I certainly don't care about sharks. They're scary. They should be less scary if they want us to care about them. That's right. Be less scary.

Yeah. You know, if we just keep culling the herd of these scary sharks a couple hundred years, we're going to have nice, friendly sharks. I mean, I can't argue with that logic. That's true. That's what we did to dogs and wolves. I'll go so far as to say it's exactly the same's what we did to dogs and wolves. I'll go so far as to say it's exactly the same as what

we did to dogs and wolves. So you think maybe we'll domesticate sharks someday and they'll be our friend? If they prove useful? So if our dolphins have the lead, if we can handle that rape problem they have, they'll secure the victory. But if we build a shark, they don't rape. I'm okay with dolphin rape. They'll secure the victory. People don't rape. I'm okay with

dolphin rape. They don't have laws. Oh, you mean dolphins raping each other? I meant dolphins raping people. Oh, okay. You're right. That isn't against the law. You go into their domain. Don't be surprised if you get slipped a little bottlenose cock.

By that logic, they shouldn't be surprised when they swim right into a Pepsi container. You know? You see that six-pack ring and you can't figure that out. That's evolution. That's Darwinism right there. That's true. They didn't deserve to survive. The dolphin...

If you swim into my domain and I see that blowhole... You're gonna fuck it. I mean, of course i'm gonna fuck it is a blowhole fuckable how far down does it go absolutely fuckable that what is it how how far down all the way all the way you just oh yeah i'm just you know what's terrible you know it's terrible we're we're just being gross but like someone has done it oh yeah someone i throughout time hundreds of people thousands i bet i would bet almost anything that some japanese fisherman somewhere

has we has hauled in a dolphin in his nets and been like, Ooh, Oh, you just wait until you taste the humiliation. Oh, it tastes so spicy. They've done it. Someone's done it. Yeah.

I would, I would think Japan or China, those are the countries that seem to really be going ham on Wales. Right. Or maybe it's trying to go on Japan. They seem to be leading the charge in that Philippines. Am I i making that up they're another archipelago nation living japanese are like the number one issue with the with the whales with the whaling i wonder if they're i was going to say like uh what are they called samoan people but there's not enough of them left no giant country of samoan people i don't No, there's just a handful of those left.

They got rid of most of those. So, yeah, you're probably right. Probably Japan leading the charge for centuries there. Yeah. I think they're chilling out now. Not so much. No? No.

They make it legal by saying it's for scientific research. But then they just go and kill a bunch of whales and then turn them into whale products. Yeah. It'll be like, all right, you can study the, this quarter inch of tongue.

We're researching how tasty they fucking are. Let's go. And then they kill like 30, 40 whales and drag them back home and eat them. Would you try whale in Japan? I honestly would not. You know, I watched a Gordon Ramsey video where he ate whale as Japan? I honestly would not. Um, you know, I watched a

Gordon Ramsey video where he ate whale as kind of a statement. He was like, this isn't good. This isn't tasty. It's not, it's not tasty at all. And it's unethical and it's horrible. Like, just so you know, it's not even good. Really? That's a cool video. I need to, I love Gordon Ramsey. I need to watch that. Yeah, me too. I'm a big fan. So I linked fan so i linked to that thing about um lord of the rings i wanted to get but i didn't ask your opinion we just kind of chuckled over it uh so they're they're saying so they're hiring a um an intimacy coordinator and a nudity advisor or some shit which is like in our politically correct world you can't just do nude scenes and movies and TV shows anymore. You've got to have a team of people to make sure that nobody gets MeToo'd and that everybody's okay with how their titties look on camera, I guess. You did it to yourself, Hollywood.

You did it to yourself. a new Amazon Lord of the Rings show, which strongly hence suggests that there's going to be some titties in Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. That's interesting. And I sent you that meme, and it's Sam over his pot of rabbit, his brace of conies.

And he's going, what we need is a few good titties a few good titties mash them some stick them in a stew so how do you feel about that frankly like like you know i've read the i'm not as huge of a fan as you i didn't discover it as early but i you know i watched the movies as they came out in theaters i read the books or i read it as a book i haven't gotten too deep into the cimmerillion but i'm a big fan i i of of tolkien and the works i don't mind some titties i don't really care either way i don't want them to try and go to game of thronesy with it and lose the

plot because sometimes that happened in game of thrones where it was like oh well you know we'll have the sand snake thing oh we can throw in like three titty scenes with the sand snakes and it's like no that was like crowd appeasement because you thought they wanted titties when in reality everybody was pissed for the most part like what the fuck the story's going no like i don't want them to pull that shit again where they get off in the weeds with i guess non-canon nonsense well i guess all this is non-canon usually the tolkien estate has like a family member come and oversee that stuff because i guess jr tolkien was like super anal about people not i think they bought some rights i think they can do just about whatever you're you're right that's

we talked about that i should have remembered yeah he they bought they spent a fuck ton of money for like the lord of the rings right so? Like $100 million, maybe more. It might be a deal with what they're going to make on this. Like it's very popular. So we'll see how good it does. I just hope they don't get too Game of Thrones-y. Like, you know,

but if they slip some titties in, that doesn't bother you? I don't really care. No, I don't either. I don't like it. The characters are good. Like if they try and like shoehorn some nonsense character that wasn't

even like because you know they're gonna do shit like that like that'll be annoying i won't yeah i'm more concerned about them the way they plug legolas the way they plug legolas into the hobbit for example yeah it was just totally like what the hell is going on here this is just distracting at this oh you just wanted orlando bloom and now we need to watch this horrible cgi rock bounce and the feet and they they plugged in that female uh elf and her like weird emotional thing or relationship thing with the fucking dwarf yeah and it's like what you're not even in the book who are you yeah they just made up a character i didn't like that one bit like you know hot elf number two that's basically the character it was.

Yeah. It's Hot Elf number two. I'm hoping that they don't fuck up. We could get Liv Tyler. So we've got Hot Elf number two, and she's going to have the hots for a three-foot-tall hairy man. Yes. Well, we checked out Liv Tyler. Turns out she's 51 now.

So we're going to back off that and go with this person. Yeah. She's probably deep in her forties at least. I mean, Lord of the Rings came out. What? 2000. Yeah.

Yeah. So 20 years, almost 20 plus years. Yeah. That's one show. Even if it is ass, I'm going to sit down and it'll have to be like really fucking terrible. And it bothered me for me to not watch the Lord of the Rings series.

Yeah. We're talking about the, the, the, the to not watch the Lord of the Rings series. We're talking about the nudity in the Lord of the Rings series. There's supposed to be a little, right? We don't care. That's what we're discussing. I think Taylor and I both came down that we don't mind the nudity. What I really don't like is when they shoehorn characters in.

I dislike fake girl power. I dislike fake girl power i dislike um i just like fake boy power and i don't like um i don't want any fuck it look i don't want any lgbtq characters in this show i is that wrong i don't need black characters either i'm less sensitive to the to the whole lgbtq i don't have any problem with black characters. I can imagine them existing. But they didn't.

Nudity is a plus. I can't imagine it because Tolkien didn't. Tolkien did not imagine it. You're right. He based it on old European civilization stuff. And so that's why there weren't black characters in Lord of the Rings. Because it was more of a, oh, I'm going to take this region here and if it was in a fantasy,

that kind of shit. But they're going to expand on the canon, right? This thing's... I don't know. I think it's kind of up in the air what they're going to do. Hopefully, there's a lot of canon to work with that they can use. Yeah, they haven't run out of story. They've got so, so much canon to work with. I just hope

they don't look saying that titties are anti-tolkien doesn't make any sense to me there's female character did you ever see the original illustrations of what arwen looked like when she's fucking doing battle with the witch king yeah it's very sexual she's wearing like a thong dress like i remember i saw this reddit comment and they're like they said something about like um how the witch wing witch king would have heard her comment with them things clapping yeah what's her name it's r1 how do you spell it w-e-n yeah just oh wait no no you're thinking a-o-n-e-o-w-y-n yeah because it's the uh it's the it's the it's the Latin for horse prefix. How do you spell it?

Everybody's A-O. E-O-W-Y-N. Yeah, Eowyn. Sister of Eowyn. Son of Theoden. She's got this big old ass, and she's wearing a dress that's basically a thong. So the dress comes above her ass, but there's a strip that hangs over her ass crack. And she's doing battle with the witch king dressed like that it's like who are you fooling on the ride here like there had to be some point where we weren't on our horses like if there's

like what i don't want is like a scene where it's like ah gimli you've arrived and he's like and i brought my wacky friend gunter and it's like oh no don't bring gunter along this is life partner clung chong and clung chong is always has a witty take it's like i don't know if i actually that what taylor just mentioned bothers me so like avengers i won't spend a lot of time we'll go back but they had like a two and a half hour movie and maybe 45 seconds of like a girl power scene they shoehorned in there i can get past that like that doesn't that doesn't ruin the movie it was lame though sure but this 45 seconds of lameness and they have this moment in the movie where like all the female characters have somehow like gotten together like of all, there's a massive battle going on. Literally every character

from all 27 prior movies has shown up. Are all the men already fighting? Everyone is already fighting. Men and women, they're all fighting. They are fighting like a dozen drop ships full of an alien race of destructors.

And the women are powerful, right? This is superhero stuff. Women, it's fine for them to be. Yeah. Fucking Pepper Potts is there. She hasn't done shit since Iron Man 3 back in 2000. That's what she worked in administration. She has an Iron Man costume. She dug up her Iron Man

costume, which shouldn't by any means still exist, by the way, because he blew them all up at the end of 3 where they build her a new one in the interim? I don't think so. But they built her one for this. Her and the Pegasus bitch and Ant-Woman Wasp. That's her name.

They're all just like, we're here, pussy power. At this moment, they're all shoulder to shoulder with not a cock in sight. What is the wasp? She's basically Ant-Man, but she can fly. Yeah. I thought Ant-Man

could fly. He flies on an ant. So he can't fly. I don't remember him flying much in the movies. She has wings. He flies on an actual ant. Wow. Not in the movie though, right? Yeah, in the movie. Yeah, but he's flying. In the he's flying man movie he's often flying around on an ant he shrinks himself down smaller than an ant in his ant man

costume and then gets on top of a winged ant and flies it around i do remember this but i feel like you're describing it as if it's a trained ant that he uses for transportation it is literally a trained ant that he communicates with maybe you're right maybe you're right like he's talking to it like no left left left like i remember him like hanging on for dear life just happening to find a nearby ant that he's working with him is that's not how it goes he seems to be able to ride any of the ants and communicate with them through his ant powers i remember whenever he needed to travel he just got really big and took big steps. Like, that's kind of how I recall.

There was a part where he did that a bit. But when he has to travel, like, inside, they're, like, infiltrating, like, a circuit board or something. And he's, like, super tiny flying around on the inner workings of, like, a security system. And he's flying a goddamn ant. It's weird that getting super small is what you're muted, Taylor, is much of a superpower. That time I just muted myself. Well, he keeps the same mass. It just becomes ultra dense.

I hear you. Like a bullet. Like a bullet. Look, just being small is not usually a really useful superpower. If there's a fight that needs to be happening, getting really small is like it's a silly way to fight you would i imagine and this is speaking knowing very few of the characters there's no way if they were on an island and voting off like the least useful members that he wouldn't be in like the bottom tent he's super oh no first of all he's

really genius he's a genius he can not only go he can be like small as small as a subatomic particle or like a hundred feet tall oh i didn't know you could do cool stuff he can get big which is really important so there's a scene you've probably seen it where the incredible hawk one punches that lizard thing it might be called a leviathan i haven't seen that or no no yeah i think you know that's my secret i'm always angry then he turns and he one punches the leviathan and you're like oh my god the hawk is super powerful he beat up a leviathan well ant-man also one punches a leviathan when he's big yeah so he's powerful ant-man's pretty cool and it's uh you know he's funny ant-man's one of my favorite characters uh but yeah there's that pussy power moment no it doesn't ruin the movie but there's that when i

saw it i'm just like man you're doing so good you were doing so good here like like you just had had that incredible scene where captain america picks up the fucking hammer and then you got that little funny moment of levity where like thor's got his thor has his as mjolnir the fucking hammer and then you got that little funny moment of levity where like thor's got his thor has his as mjolnir the regular hammer and captain america has a stormbringer the giant fucking axe and thor's like switch switch like he wants to get the little one yeah you take the little one and cat was like all right you know it's just it's forged in the heart of a star. I mean, any hammer will do. But back on Lord of the... And then all of a sudden, it's puffy power time. And like, look,

the black chick from Wakanda who's just got a shaved head and a spear, I don't know how she's supposed to be any more impressive than like, Holly Holm beats her up! Like, you know what I mean? She doesn't get to be on the... Like, Black Widow, bow and arrow guy, if i mean she doesn't get to be on the like like black widow bow and arrow

guy uh if that spear lady doesn't have uh any power she doesn't make the powers only the power people are on the island even so you're saying ant-man is like pretty mid-tier he's not getting voted off yeah he's pretty mid-tier i think mid-tier maybe well i didn't know he could grow bigger that seems like he should have named himself after that instead of and he's a genius you know although like all of them are like they're all they're all pretty multi-talented it's like yeah i can uh the hulk even like you know he's a genius sure david banner that raccoon probably wouldn't make it very far although he is likable i don't think he can do anything very likable guy uh you know cybernetically enhanced raccoon the tree not very useful group not very useful you

know he comes in the clutch a few times it's his arm they use to get stormbringer a handle batista i don't know about him no real powers he could be invisible by being very still hilarious moment hilarious that was i remember that was a like a laugh out loud moment when i saw guardians of the galaxy where what is the line you guys remember he's like it went over your head and he's like no it wouldn't my reflexes are too quick i would catch it i would catch it nothing goes over my head it's fucking great yeah i liked guardians of the galaxy. So I looked up her superpowers. She's Wakanda's greatest warrior, but not a superpowered one, I guess. She has a good spear, a vibranium spear. But what cracks me up is they had to really scrape the bottom of the barrel to name her superpowers.

And she's multilingual. That's on the list. Right next to that that it says sassy she speaks english korean and joshua so i don't know what they didn't even go balls to the wall with the languages they gave her three trilingual english regular lania trump speaks like three times yeah yeah and those eastern european ones with the goofy those those are tough i'm sure korean's not easy yeah she's and and it's not a sex it's not a sex thing either like like just like you're a bad character like like you captain marvel is a god she's literally a god

as much as i hate her character she is a god yeah i don't like when the regular characters get to hang out and be part of the team where it's like i'm gonna be flying around this guy's gonna be shooting fire and you're gonna have a bow and arrow and you're gonna be sneaky like no no you don't get to play i never liked hawkeye i honestly like like i like looking at uh um what's your name yeah scarlett johansson so she can fucking stay like like and realistically if we actually had a super team and Scarlett Johansson wanted to be part of it, we'd let her in. If the three of us actually had superpowers, if Hulk was the

fucking... If Taylor was the fucking Hulk and Woody was Stark and I was fucking Ant-Man or whatever the fuck and Scarlett Johansson was just like, can I join? We were like, yep. Taylor's like, what does she? We were like, yep. Yep. And Taylor's like, what does she do? Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up, Taylor. That's booby woman. I go by Black Widow. Taylor's like, you're booby woman. Tight. Shut the fuck up. I call her laundry girl. What does she do? Laundry Girl. What does she do? Laundry. What is the colors?

Fuck what she does. She won't shrink your shirts. She irons. Walk and breathe. So like Iron Man? No, no. She irons. Oh, we call her the chef.

Oh, because Gordon's got schemes? No. Because she's making chicken teriyaki in there for us right now. Is it good? No. Because she's making chicken teriyaki in there for us right now. Is it good? No. It's awful. She really excels at ham sandwiches. That's realistic to me.

Her being part of the team, it's like, I'm not going to turn it down. Well, she's a master spy. That's an actual talent. She's able to calm down the Hulk with her words. And she's had a hysterectomy, so perfect woman. Has she had a hysterectomy in real life? That in the canon? No, in the movies.

Oh. I don't think so. She's been sterilized to some degree. That's a complete sterilization. That is complete. Even Taylor wouldn't pull out on Black Widow. No. None of us would. That's the see you win it's just a loaded pair

oh i didn't mean to take us away from lord of the rings um i feel like i don't look at politics and movies quite that much i think you guys find it more i do look for politics and my serial killers i don't mean to get on some high horse. I always wonder who they voted for. That's just me. I don't know. But yeah, I love boobies. They make every show better and

I'm down to see it. Do we know when it comes out? No. I think it got pushed back again. Yeah, I'm guessing you know, next fall, maybe even the fall after it's gonna be a while but um hope they take their time yeah take your time i'm not in a rush you know you paid 100 million dollars just for the rights i think so do your thing whatever just make it good yeah i don't mind about titties i just don't like um i don't i hate shit being fucking super politically correct.

It's just not making sense. They just added like... They shoehorned stuff in and it feels ham-handed, not organic. I know they just added a transsexual and an asexual character to Star Trek. And I'm just like... Asexual? They've already had robots. Yeah, but data was straight.

I googled the date. It looks like it might be 2022. Android. Bigot. I don't know the Android code. I don't know their preferred... He's an automaton. That's pretty cool, I guess.

I don't care who fucks who on the show like i really don't like i don't care like no i don't remember picard ever getting laid there was a vacation sometimes he'd be on vacation on ryzen he'd be wearing that thing so you could see his bulge way too much like like like dude why does picard have a it was's Juju Mufu's boy toy? Tom? Yeah, Picard's wearing the Tom shorts. He's got way too much showing. Well, he'll never come

back on. Why? Because I called him Juju's boy toy? Yes, that's why. Oh, come on. That's funny. He'd like that. He'll make a shirt that says that. I hope he he does this isn't nearly as specific as your your complaint kyle but tell me if it also resonates i don't want them to reimagine too much some of the mythical creatures that have already been established so like the

cave trolls we saw in lord of the rings they even did a good job making them kind of similar in The Hobbit, even though The Hobbit CGI was kind of fucked. Like the Balrog, the cave trolls, the goblins, the Uruk-hai, the orcs. Shelob. All of that is established canon. If they want to go a different direction with maybe a creature that we haven't seen yet and they reimagine that, not even reimagine

because we haven't seen it, they imagine that. Dragons. Yeah, dragons. That's been established. We can move away from anything established. We're going so far back in time there's more dragons now yeah okay well i just don't want them to move too far away from that like if it's like a harry potter looking troll instead that would really bother me i would like it a lot if the show was focused. The main focus of the show was like the race of men. And so like, we got to see elves and dwarves and wizards and such very sparingly. And it was a big deal when we did like, like I hope it's,

I bet they're not going to do that. I bet they're going to make it, try to make it like a fellowship right off the bat where we've got like an elf, a dwarf, a human, a wizard, like all being kind of buddy buddy doing shit together i bet there's gonna be like a fucking team but i would prefer

it if we were if it was like we were focused on a group of humans and their sort of inner politics and maybe they had like an orc problem and and we kept it really centralized really localized yeah and there was just a sprinkling of dwarves elves and magic and orcs occasionally and that but but those things were rare kind of like in game of thrones how like there wasn't a lot of white walker um stuff going on you know all the time you just got a hint of them occasionally i agree i think that would probably be best they keep it kind of nice, central on the same group, and it doesn't even have to be

the elves, dwarves, orcs, whatever are... I mean, what'll probably happen is it'll kick off with some sort of emissary from the Kingdom of Men going to one of the other races talking about a problem with orcs and Uruk-hai and that establishes a tie between them, and then you kind of understand the size of the world. I hope there's no

hobbits. I'm's no hobbits. I'm fine with hobbits. I don't really care. There probably won't be hobbits in this because hobbits didn't get involved in the wars that far from the Shire. That's why I don't want hobbits. Because in the Lord of the Rings, everybody's like, what the fuck's a hobbit? Nobody knows what a hobbit is. How far back is it? Do you remember?

We don't know. I hope they go really far back, though. I hope they go back to the elves before the elves went to the islands or whatever. Numenor. Yeah. Yeah. I hope, I hope it's really far back and I wish they get Ian McKellen.

I think he's too old for it, man. Like he's, you could CGI that shit. Don't like, like in, you could de-age him just enough to, to make it work.

He's supposed to be an old man anyway. If they could do it, I would love that because that would be great. I was just thinking that because even no matter how far back they go, Gandalf is going to be extant. He exists in that universe pretty much for the most part in some form or another. Yeah, he's older than the Earth. He is the only way that hobbits would get introduced into the story. And so I could see them using Gandalf as a way to bring a hobbit in

because it is kind of established that Gand gandalf has always really liked those people like he's always likes the hobbits he's always you could de-age him though he's 81 though like he can't do the job what's the yeah you can't memorizing lines and oh he's oh come on staying awake all day yes he could still do the job. He's 81. He's going to die soon, very soon. I don't think so. People live to 73 in my mind. He's expired.

He's expired. He's 81. How old is Joe Biden? 77. Well, that's close. It is, yes. But we're choosing between. Look, people die at 77. Well, that's close. It is. Yeah. But we're choosing between...

Look, people die at 73. I like that you're saying an 81-year-old can't play Gandalf on Amazon, but a 77-year-old can run the free world. Neither a 77-year-old or a 74-year-old are a good choice. We're picking amongst these two. I want the man to play Gandalf. i think he can still do it and i think they could dh him enough where he'd look fine and if he had to do any action they just cgi that shit look at ian mckellen's imdb i just linked and look at how much work he's done in

the past three years like okay he's he's kicking and so kicking once again though at 81 anything can happen at the drop of a hat, so that's pretty risky. But it looks like he's cranking out films and voiceover. He's been involved with seven productions in the last 24 months. Yeah, he's grinding. Okay, well, this one, he did voice work, so we'll discount

that one. That would be cool. If they could do it effectively and he can promise not to die, that'd be cool. If they could do it effectively and he can promise not to die, that'd be good. As long as he promises. Do your pinky swear not to die? I mean, I'd take it. If he really promises to eat right.

Now he looks like he already eats right. I don't know who yeah I want Gandalf to be part of it I like Gandalf and god damn he's iconic as that character I would hope that it was him you know what they could do they could do someone who like a younger Gandalf

who looks enough like Ian McKellen when he was younger if it is that far back because it's not like Gandalf has always been yeah how about ewan mcgregor ewan mcgregor would work yeah throw him a little gray on him that's the um obi-wan right yeah it's obi-wan so have him do that yeah that could work like backdate it and have them introduce gandalf as as a younger wizard still it kind of looks like him i like

that casting choice do we know who it is nah they'll pick a bunch of fucking New Zealand fucks we've never heard of or some shit. I'm fine with them not using any of the people. I'm sure they've done a lot of casting. I'm just not aware of it. I'm okay with new actors. I didn't know any of the people from Game of Thrones.

I came to love so many of them before I came to hate so many of them. Think about who was famous from Lord of the Rings before that kicked off it was literally just ian mckellen right nobody knew who orlando bloom was nobody knew vigo mortensen nobody knew any of the hobbits were i mean a lot of what had been in a couple things he'd been in like what's like orlando bloom was maybe one of the more established stars am i wrong is that where he got it had he done pirates of the caribbean no uh lord of the rings springboarded him into pirates of the more established stars. Am I wrong? Is that where he got it? Had he done Pirates of the Caribbean yet? No, Lord of the Rings springboarded

him into Pirates of the Caribbean. I think it made all those people's careers. I think Ian was really the only one that was known. At least to us. I'm sure international audiences probably knew, like Carl Urban and people like that. I didn't know any of those people. No.

I'm looking forward to it. The reason Orlando Bloom is so well known to me is because I mix him up with I didn't know any of these people. No. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. The reason Orlando Bloom is so well-known to me is because I mix him up with another good-looking guy from Enemy at the Gates. Oh, that's a completely different guy called Jude Law who looks nothing like Orlando Bloom. Nope, nope, nope.

They're both thin white guys. They're right next to each other. I will. You've got to be some sort of brain defect where you can't, come on, they're not the same at all. I don't think Jude Law looks like Orlando Bloom. Not even a little.

Looking for a proper picture. Looking for the one that looks the most like the picture of Jude Law I have. Yes, yeah. I'm definitely setting myself up for success. Here, I actually found a picture of Jude Law I have. Yes, yeah. I'm definitely setting myself up for success. Actually, I found a picture of Jude Law dressing as Orlando Bloom for Halloween and as you can see...

I'm telling you, these guys... Look, I'm not saying they could be twins or anything, but they could be brothers. No, they couldn't. Orlando Bloom is a manlet and Jude Law is an adult man. Orlando Bloom is a manlet and Jude Law is an adult man Orlando Bloom is a manlet

yeah he's a tiny little fella what is that true looks like it to me says 511 really he looks tiny Elijah Wood 5'6 very small fella I like Elijah Wood I like him too

I've seen him and I've liked him a lot. I really liked his character in Sin City when he was like the little serial killer maniac guy that ate people. Did you ever see the second Sin City? It was awful. It was horrific.

It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It was almost impressive how little interest it captured in me and how terrible it was. Yeah, it was really terrible. Same with the second 300. Yeah, that was awful. As soon as when it showed the boat battle

and how absurd that was on the screen. There was a horse jumping from boat to boat or some shit. That was really bad. What the hell was going on? I'm a big Eva Green fan too. It's worth watching the movie to see Eva Green get fucked. Just really big which movie 302

doggy style right 302 yeah fighting in that scene little Marv Albert action if I remember correctly but if you really want to see Eva Green naked go back and watch the dreamers that's when she is like that's prime Eva Green full frontal Go back and watch The Dreamers. That's when she is prime Eva Green.

Full frontal nudity. The Dreamers? What kind of movie? Close up on her vagina. Oh, you're right. You've muted yourself, of course. Orlando Bloom has an M in it. No. Taylor, don't change that. This is hilarious.

Let's try to get him to search Orlando Bloom and shit like that. Until he turns it off. He'll type memory. It'll go on and off. You guys, I'm going to change it to a different random letter. I keep picking vowels. Why am I doing this? Orlando Bloom was in Black Hawk Down,

but I agree that Lord of the Rings totally made him. I don't even remember Black Hawk Down. A lot of people are in Blackhawk Down. I haven't seen that in a long time. I don't like movies when the U.S. soldiers have a rough time. I don't even see that. It makes me feel bad. It's like, I'm not going to go

back and watch the 2015 Super Bowl. Why would I want to watch all the Americans getting slaughtered in Mogadishu? I remember it differently. I'm sure they had a hard time, but I kind of remember them all sort of marching out, successfully getting back to camp. Yeah, but I know the true story. I watched that shit on the news.

They drug the American soldiers through the fucking streets, dead, and made a mockery of them on fucking international television. And then Clinton pussied out at the end and didn't go in there and wipe them out. The worst part of all was they put pot on their nose and smoked out of their mouth like a bong. The hardest thing to watch was when they took Sergeant Johnson and turned him into a bong. That would have been an odd and disconcerting scene out of your head yeah that's a drug they do over there uh it's called cot uh it's just like uh it's a stimulant i don't know how it twitch chat says it's not as powerful as you say like i think you've just i forgive me if i have this wrong but i think you've said that they get on

caught they become kind of fearless and charged towards the bullets and this and that and my twitch chat uh third most reliable source on the internet um they uh they say it's more like caffeine it's just kind of like an upper that gets you going. Special Forces guys I talked to who were in Mogadishu said that it was a pretty extreme stimulant that allowed them to run through gunfire and made them very difficult to kill. Special Forces versus my Twitch chat. I can tell you the way. I don't know who to believe the uh the 458 socom round was developed uh in part uh after the issue in mogadishu where five five six rounds were not one or even two tapping those insurgents they wanted a heavy hitting round for certain units.

And they developed a 458 SOCOM. Yikes. I wouldn't want to get shot with that. It's a cool fucking round. It's a real fat fucking AR bullet. It's real cool. What do you got here? Not the murder hornets again.

Murder hornets. I thought this thread of 2020 was kind of left. I'm waiting for the return. I guess not. It says murder hornets invading U.S. are about to enter their slaughter phase. And what does that mean as I read it for the first time? Well, it says they will visit apiaries, basically mark a hive, attack it in force, removing every bee from the hive, decapitate them, killing all the workers, and spending the next few days harvesting the brood and the pupae out of the hive as a food source. Oh, thank God.

They're slaughtering other bees. Well, the hornets aren't bees, but I get your point. The hornets go. Oh, I see what you mean. They don't make honey you know they're be like they probably make something else if you really taste it that's where syrup comes from ah that's a canadian wasp make delicious syrup for you to put on your breakfast

dude the whole 2020 being a nightmare narrative to me works against trump a little unfairly he's not responsible for murder murder hornets but there's just this general agreement it's the worst year ever to happen i see it more as like a covid meme where like every time you think it's gonna get better it doesn't i see remember remember when it was two weeks of self-isolation it would have been if everybody fucking stuck to the plan. Trump really did fuck this up. He politicized it. He called it a Democratic hoax.

Rather than read, he downplayed it. He told his people to resist it. He felt like, I think, the economy was the thing that was working for him, and COVID was working against him. So he just told everyone it wasn't true. If we had buckled down and actually united like we did around 9-11 or something and all got on board, then it would have worked. I feel like it's too late now. Too late now.

At this point, even if the pandemic is not done with us, we're done with it. We're like, fuck it. I've been quarantining for months now. I'm done. Fuck it. I've been quarantining for months now. I'm done. If he had had this big moment where he literally shows up with fucking Obama and literally Obama, Clinton, the good one, not Hillary.

Which one's the good one? Oh, okay, the one that fucks. Bush. The funny one. Fucking throw Nancy Pelosi and whoever. And they all were sitting behind a table. Put him in the middle., fucking throw Nancy Pelosi and whoever. And they, they all had, we're sitting behind the table.

Maybe put him in the middle. He gets to sit in the middle. He's the president, current president. And they, and they just said, Hey, listen,

this virus is serious, but with, you know, American resolve, we can, can be the best in the world at, at, at beating this thing quickly and efficiently.

The best science says that two weeks of isolation, and we'll be through the worst of this. We're selling masks to DonaldTrump.com. All he had to say was like, 180 million masks will be done by tomorrow, 350 million by the end of the week. They're being sent out to everyone. If you want one, apply here.

Go to Trump dot com. Get your mask. Get your Trump mask or your Obama mask, whatever you want. You know, he doesn't put his fucking face on. He's telling Obama masks, too. He said, you know, i'm working with congress we're already drafting a stimulus bill because i'm sorry america we're taking a month off from work think of it as a vacation to be at home but your checks are going to be in the mail and by within 10 days we don't want any businesses

having to foreclose we're you know we're giving exemptions for renters and this and that if you just had this big plan that allowed our entire fucking country, the biggest economy in the world or maybe not, to shut down for 30 days, it would have been over in March. You hit the nail on the head with the co-opting

the patriotism side because that would have been the smart move for him saying like, this is crushing Italy right now. It's crushing Spain. We're going to show the world. We're going to lead by example. We will handle this better crushing italy right now it's crushing spain we're going to show the world we're going to lead by example we will handle this better than it like if he had done that and taken like a rah-rah shish boomba america can handle this better than everyone else it that was the tactic to take but like very clearly that ship has sailed everything you said is right even the last part i agree with that too i do wonder if trump had done that if the

democrats would have been like fascist i'm not wearing a mask now that trump wants me to if trump had been the mask had been the mask guy and the the conservatives have been the mask party and uh you know the the the dems had been the ones who were uh you know anti-mask yeah oh that would have been such a good look this time of year true true yeah yeah but it's the opposite now you get these fucking like what what's the subreddit wolves ate my face or whatever leopards ate my face which is. Leopards ate my face. Which is, you know, these people going on there and being like, whoa, I wonder why it's only conservatives

have coronavirus. And people are just like, because only conservatives are refusing to wear masks, you dumbass. You know, it's like, that's why. Because you people were too fucking ignorant to see your conspiracy believing karens your fucking facebook trolls you didn't want to put a fucking cotton mask on you

acted like you were suffocating and and now you all have the fucking virus part yeah you fucking pussy ass losers you taught yourselves to be tough and american, but a fucking mask was too much. Like, like I wear one when I cut the grass, you pussy. Like, like, like I wear one every time I go outside of this house. It's not a big deal. I like it.

And you always know when you have bad breath, you wear a mask while you mow the lawn. People do that. That's insane. Because of allergies, not because of. Oh, I was was like how small is your yard are you like mowing in tandem with this other guy like talking no i'm saying i've what i'm saying is i've always worn masks when i cut grass because of like grass allergies and the dust that it kicks up you know

you're doing circles and you i feel you it's blowing in your face yeah well i like the title of this leopards ate my face because you know how much I enjoy people getting what's coming when they fuck with animals. Yeah. People don't know that. It's not political. It can be, but it's not all, you know, politics. Yeah. Yeah.

It's I'm probably going to describe it poorly, but it's kind of like people getting their comeuppance because of their ignorance. A lot. A lot of the times you know it's people making bad decisions and that backfiring on them and then being like hey how did this happen it's like how do you fucking think yeah uh yeah trump rather than lead he kind of downplayed and it's it's the knock i have against him like he often doesn't have an actual strategy for solving problems he has a media strategy for spinning the news about the problems. And sometimes that works.

Sometimes that's even what you need. But sometimes you actually need to solve shit and that's not really his specialty. He's just about spinning stuff. And in COVID, it didn't work out. But we'll see. I think he's going to lose

for sure. I just don't understand how he's so stupid like like like i thought he was at least a good delegator and someone who could take advice from experts but he's clearly not because any one of us would have made better decisions at like just listening from the experts like like what we've heard from CNN, like I remember months and months ago, we were just like, Oh shit, this is no good.

Everybody needs to be wearing a mask. Yeah. Well, and it's really short sighted of him to have done it that way. Like it, it shows a sense of short sightedness. Like what he said, minimizing the economy.

It's because like Woody and I've said before, like he was thinking the only thing I have to hang my hat on is the economy. And if the economy starts to go down, suddenly, what's in my corner? What am I going to tout? And so he thought, ah, this really is bullshit. I'll call it bullshit.

People will keep working. Economy stays good. Bada bing, bada boom. We're rolling into November with a booming economy. Now there's... Discard, record scratch. Turns out that it's fucking real and now he's already done like the overextended and so he doesn't want to come back and say oh no actually

we need to do this because then it makes him look indecisive yeah now there's a couple hundred thousand people dead and the economy's still fucked i got it wrong too i i like to hope if i was president and i had better information i'd get get it right. But I think if I recall when I first heard about it, I was like Ebola was bullshit. SARS was bullshit. Bird flu was bullshit. Not me. I ranked it a one out of ten.

I remember. On the day. I remember. One being the highest. No. I remember because that episode. He's joking, Taylor. I i know i know he's fucking i remember i was saying that this was going to be bad you did yeah yeah that was why my take on

people in your universe for subject matter expertise yeah yeah people i knew who were like uh hey this isn't this is gonna be way worse than other stuff. It's going to be pretty risky. And I remember Kyle being like, I hope I get it. I hope I get it. It's not me. Come on, COVID. Did I say that? You said you wanted to get it out of the way.

Fast forward a month and it's like, shit's getting real. Yeah, there's no telling what nonsense i said i thought 200 000 people died like that big round number it would be more of a holy smokes can you believe this happened kind of event it came and went i don't know there was some bigger news going on that day well now it's it's over i think that death toll is a weird number because like all right when 9-11 happened and whatever 4,800 people got got immediately killed it's like not one of those people were you like well i mean that guy did have emphysema as well you know that was a i'm

pretty sure the plane that hit him was just a contributing factor to his emphysema you know i'm pretty sure that lady spiraling down from the 87th floor she had a degenerative bone disease of course right she had a heart attack on the way down really it wasn't that lady just had a heart attack that heather hire chick was like 400 fucking pounds she she was gonna she was gonna drop in any moment. They surrounded that man. They terrorized him. He was just trying to get away. Who does India get? That big fat mass monster.

She jumped in front of his car trying to attack him. He swerved to avoid her. She had a heart attack and passed away. Who is India fooling? Our total cases is 7.8 million. he swerved to avoid her and she had a heart attack and, and, and passed away. Dude, India,

who is India fooling? Our total cases is 7.8 million and they're claiming 6.9. No way. India, are you shitting me? Yeah. I don't know about all that, but I imagine by now,

wouldn't there'd be like piles of dead bodies in places. They've got a huge poor population in the river. I just have to guess they're not tested. But I mean like as far as death totals go, like you would imagine even with a relative like a very small death total given that population center

like tons of bodies, like tons of people dying, you would guess. I hear you. Just throw them in the river. And I guess it still makes sense because like oh this person died what was it really don't know we're not gonna count it as that though they caught the death you know that's all you need to know yeah ah he died of living in

india ah the classic. I've got to tell this all the time. But, yeah, we'll see. The polls are not the same as they were against Hillary, right? The difference for them was like 3% or something. I've been looking at this recently. Four and a half. Okay. And now I'm seeing the aggregated polls at like nine something.

And the Rasmussen just came out and said- 16 or 18. It was 16. Rasmussen, which always leans Republican, was 11. That's a big number for a Rasmussen poll. And so it looks like Biden's smashing him. I can't believe Biden's smashing him by that much. I'm in disbelief, but i do think he's

gonna win i feel yeah i think he's gonna win too probably not by that amount but i think he'll win yeah not by that amount but i do think he'll win although it could be a crazy landslide like like if right away um you know he takes texas or something from trump then the then the late polling is it like's going to quit. True. If he were to take Texas, that's crazy. It doesn't seem to be that in play. Georgia's kind of in play.

Not as much as the media says. It's just the Atlanta area where there's a big... 40% of the population is definitely going to probably go to Biden, but every bit of the rest of the state will go to Trump. Yeah. I just go by the, everywhere I go, there's Trump fucking banners. I see so few political signs compared to the last election.

Every fucking where I only see Trump signs. And a lot of people take that as like a lack of support for Biden. But I think the whole shy trump voter thing is so incorrect trump voters are the most outgoing people in the world that the hats and the signs and the clothes it's it's a cult trump voters are way out there they it's a wardrobe choice i think the idea that people are embarrassed to be Trump voters, but secretly Trump voters is off target. I think that professional people who are Trump supporters, I think that people outside of like rural,

rural areas are, are embarrassed to be Trump supporters. I think there's plenty of like really intelligent people who are, you know, doctors and lawyers and musicians who are just like, imagine you're a fucking musician, but you're a Trump supporter. How trump supporter how's that gonna work yeah you don't say if you're a musician actor celebrity like you just don't say shit like you're not like and i can say like that might be self-fulfilling woody because like obviously the people you see who are that

rah-rah shish boom bah about it like if you're like oh yeah but like the guy walking normally you don't know i will say that like like in my professional experience like sitting with you know how business meetings people like talking about politics or whatever before and after like little little discussions it is i'll say infinitely because i've never seen someone come into a meeting with a bunch of people they don't know and then if politics come up talk about supporting trump i've only seen it the other way like people will say like i'm voting for biden that trump guy is crazy and i'll see people who i know are going to vote for trump be like man what are you gonna do crazy times like that kind of shit i pulled i've done a bit of polling i asked two black men uh recently and uh in public you know i was i was i was uh with him and you know trump was on tv

and i was just kind of like you know what i don't really like either one of them this has been a crazy year huh and in both instances both black men were just like i don't like either of them either like but they thought trump was funny both guys thought trump was funny and entertained by him because i was like look at! He's fucking saluting! After he got back from fucking having COVID the next day, he gave him the fucking salute and the one black guy

saluted back at Trump and thought it was hilarious. You know what? I was thinking it's a good idea because so many people you talk to are like, both these people suck, they represent parties that suck, and the parties themselves kind of serve the same masters at the end of the day and so how about this you can vote for the republican the democrat or there's a third option for a randomly chosen by lottery american

at the conclusion of the election because i tell tell you this, I would vote for the random American. We did that last time. But think of the possibilities. There's so many Americans. And the only rule is they have to be 80 years old at least. We did that last time. Bernie Sanders is like, please, please. This is my shot. is how old is bernie 70 he's almost 80 like 79 oh he's in he's about to turn 80 probably i looked up the result of the polling

this is an aggregate of polls it has biden losing georgia by 0.4 and losing texas by about three and a half percent people might want to know. I mean, Texas gets closer every election. It does. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's the 2016 where I'm like, ah, you have to win by more than five to win it all,

you know, on the Democrat side. So it's like, yeah, they're losing by, what was it, three and a half? So they're still eight points away from winning that's my dumb ass head yeah that makes sense yeah that's kind of how i think about it yeah well we'll see how it goes yeah it'll be interesting to watch regardless it doesn't was a third option though i don't like either of these options yeah and the third party people always suck like have you have you seen we've

talked about it before have you seen the uh ross perot did not suck oh well i wasn't around for that i'm just saying vote for ross perot twice yeah dude this is ross perot's debate performance that that like blew me away so i'm young i'm into third parties and you know no quitter talk etc as young people often find themselves so it's cool cool and um they do in the debate so all three of them are on stage and this is how they answered like an abortion question they say you know democrat pro-life or pro-choice and he goes up there and explains why pro-choice is the worst possible thing and how i wish he wasn't that it's a terrible decision but i'm pro-choice and then the pro-love guy does the same thing you know man is a tough spot i feel for women yada yada yada but i'm pro-life and then they ask ross perot pro-life or pro-choice and he goes

pro-life and he has like two more minutes left and they're all looking at him awkwardly and he goes period and i was like fuck i kind of like that that was he's not trying to excuse it he's just yeah this is where i am and yeah and you know he had a similar appeal to what trump had in this like he's a non-politician he's a businessman he thinks that he sees something that other people don't and he's going to try to make it happen he bankrolled it with his own money but for real and uh the the night before the election or two nights before, he got like 90 minutes on TV. He just did an infomercial, him and his goddamn charts up there explaining why he felt this way or that way and how the math worked out. And he said this, I'm not sure if

it's still true or if I have the details right, but he was like, look, we don't even have to win this thing. But if we get 25%, the next election, my party's eligible for federal matching funds. You have to get 25% to be eligible for that. They don't just give it to anyone. So if we get 25% this time, vote for me. If we get 25%, then the next time we can win it. And I was like, fuck, I'm on board.

And I don't think he got it. 19, 21, something like that. That's pretty fucking... Let me fact check myself. What year was that? Was that Bush-Clinton? 92. It was Clinton the Senior.

Yeah, Bush Senior. That was a rout. Clinton beat the shit out of him that year. I bet Ross took a lot of a lot of bush folks yeah like that was a real trouncing i can't remember what the numbers were but it like it was absurd how badly clinton beat uh bush senior pro got 19 18.9 but we'll call that 19 yeah that makes more sense now because we were looking at that recently like um because you know midi i got that bet with midi that he's gonna have to eat that can of asparagus if Trump wins.

Dude, please, Trump win. And he has to record it. Oh, he's changed the vote. We've changed the bet. It's even worse for him now. How could it be worse? I'm pretty sure if Trump doesn't lose by 100 points or more, he's eating that can of asparagus. Oh, we went either way then awesome

oh so it's asparagus is like a certainty now yeah almost as long as trump can keep it within 100 points oh he'll beat the spread and he's going to be drinking asparagus juice i don't want to i like asparagus so not canned asparagus, though. You like steamed or baked asparagus. He's eating it out of a fucking can. If the polls are right, according to FiveThirtyEight, that's my source, so you can call it good or bad. It's a good one.

Biden is currently winning by 150 electoral votes. Well. Well, that'll change up and down and up and down probably all the way there yeah i don't know it's been a crazy year i hope it gets crazier um i made that prediction i think on pkn that biden's gonna die before um election night and not too late it's not too late obviously got a couple couple more weeks to go um because i just think

2020 is some sort of i think our fucking universe collided with another one and we've been twisted into some sort of parallel zone where black is white and up is down and just weird shit is going to happen just just stuff that wasn't supposed to happen just uh uh odd odd like make-believe nonsense bizarro world shit is going to happen and the most crazy thing that i could imagine happening um would be within within reason would be biden fucking dying before this thing happens because i think trump beats kamala dude get yeah hear me out October 15th, they do an in-person debate. It's only, what, 18 days later that the election happens? Yeah, that's right about when Biden would die.

Yeah, from the COVID that Trump gives him. Yeah, that's 2020. That's the plot twist. That's his October surprise,ober surprise in this direction that would be a great season finale it really would it really would we were in the middle of the penultimate episode and i think now we're about to start the finale what happens if you win the election and then the winner dies before january 23rd or whatever it is. Grab the VP, right? That's my

logical guess, but I don't know. What else would they do? Well, you got to be the same president. Does it again? Try again next time. I think Kamala is your president. Yeah, that would be my guess. Or if Trump died, then just, well, I guess Trump's our president. Yeah, that would be my guess. Or if Trump died, then it's just...

Well, I guess Trump's our president. What if president-elect dies before inauguration? That would be better phrasing. Definitely. Oh, God.

So, what happens if a nominee dies before or after the election? it's complicated of course it is just on a quick scan it appears that a lot of the electoral voters from the states are not bound to vote for the people that the citizens told them to vote for so things get a little dicey on who the electoral college votes for when that person is dead yeah oh they would probably come together and agree on kamala though i would think that would

be best for the country to like i don't know like that's what the people would want that she would be kind of the rightful winner ish yeah you know like who else would it be i guess trump got second place so you could argue it goes to second place um he would he would right that's the best way that's the season finale we're all like oh now that's the season finale trump loses but biden dies so trump wins yeah and now by bird law he has another four years in the oval office oh my god he'd be the only two-term president he'd be a two-term president to to not win either election. Oh, that'd be great.

Oh, that'd be great. That's what I want. You want Biden to win and then him to die and then Trump to become president? If I had a monkey's paw and I could fucking, Biden wins but dies and Trump does four more years. Dude, unironically, there would be mass suicides. Oh, the greatest thing from 2016, I swear to God, and it'll be on YouTube forever. So anytime I need a little pick me up, I go watch it. This is the crying women, right?

It's those crying fucking dyke haircut having bitches sitting there bemoaning that hillary is not president the balloons are loaded up in the air on those nets ready to rain down the confetti cannons are fucking loaded they're all there in their best fucking dockers and button-up shirts and they're crying they're beating little eyes out watching the reaction to the loss on in 2016 from the hillary fans was one of the most satisfying and funny thing ever because there were like people wearing shirts where it was like like it or not she's president now like hillary's like tweets out a photo of herself as a kid saying like say hello to this future president and it's like all this stuff where it was like take that glass every single voter for hillary or not every single but a lot

of voters for hillary and especially the hardcore one seemed at least online thought it was a totally foregone conclusion and so like the look of true and genuine shock of like wait this is a possibility this we might not win and then losing oh the oh that was just that was sorry it took so long complicated business and they have to watch that you know please i i look i hate those women i hate that they're they vote for the same candidate I do. You guys know I've said this a million times. This overweight, dyke-haired, cut, fat, arm-shaking, angry, whatever. I know Republicans feel that way about all the Charlottesville idiots that are on their team.

They just wish they weren't on their team. But God, I want the reverse this time. Can I have it? Can I have some country boy in a plaid shirt throwing a temper tantrum because this candidate didn't win banging things kicking his tractor you know like i don't know what the fuck he needs to do but you don't have a tractor okay i got a tractor yeah like you know throwing stones in the glass house. I'm just saying, I'm trying to picture this temper tantrum from the right, whatever that would be.

Please get it on video and let me post it on my Facebook page. Yeah, let's see what we get. I don't think it'll be, even if Trump loses, it won't be anything even close. Big girls don't cry. There's a lot of people losing, right? Let them grab their AR-15s and stomp around like they're going to do something.

I don't know. Look, it only needs to be 10 people for me to have fun with it. There have to be 10 bad losers. Oh, there's at least 10 people out there to freak the fuck out. Yeah. You need to get them all together, though, because I need to see them all crying as a group. That was so nice. Yeah, I need them.

God, that was a good night. That's what I need. That might have been the best night of my life. Would you say, Taylor? I can't hear you. No matter what happens, we're going to get great videos and reactions out of it. Yeah. Watch Trump lose by like 170

electoral votes and not concede defeat. That'd be fun. God Emperor Trump. What'd you say? vote to not concede defeat like that'd be that'd be fun that might happen emperor trump what'd you say god emperor trump god emperor trump yeah you know who this season needs more of milo did they silence milo yeah because of the pedophilia i people are still mad about that i don't even know what he does anymore probably just run a different republicans need more funny people all the funny people are on the left and coulter's funny

what funny people okay you could deny that you think that every night show host and comedian and whatever i don't think those night show hosts that Tim Allen's funny lines aren't very funny fine fine okay well everyone who works in comedy seems to be on the left how's that can we agree that's fair okay Tim Allen also works in comedy and he's on the left

but what I'm saying is there's an opportunity for someone from the right to be funny Dennis Leary is pretty funny and for someone from the right to be funny dennis leary is pretty funny um and he's on the right but uh uh anyway milo needs to make it known he needs to plug that hole there's not much uh opportunity though for a right-wing political host that does comedy on there like nbc isn't gonna hire him cbs isn't gonna hire him abc won't you know i hear you but to me this is like in the same way that Fox News is the number one news organization.

Now, I don't think it gets better ratings than all the others combined, but it is number one. There's a spot there. Milo might not be bigger than the other guys. They're certainly not combined. But man, there's a void. There's a spot for him. Yeah. I'm just saying there's not a meaning for him to do it.

I'm going to do it i'm gonna say it again if tim allen had his own late night show where he roasted liberals like there's a market that'd be wildly popular filled so taylor you might be right i don't know right because i i get it these left-leaning companies kind of, but there are also money-leaning companies, right? If this thing got good ratings because it was the only one on the right. If you get good ratings because it was on the right and the same way that Fox News gets good ratings

because it's on the right and there's not a lot of right-leaning news stations, NBC might be like, well, money. That's our number one goal. I mean, I would say that if money was their primary goal in that regard, they would have done this years ago because there is a demand for it. They don't have the show business sense that I do. They do have the show business sense that I do,

but they choose not to go that direction, not because of money reasons, because I would argue more ideological. So, yeah, it's definitely not that there's no demand for it there is it's just there's no large platform that's willing to to do that i wouldn't say well i don't know i look i don't like milo's politics but i like him on my tv he's funny i need a snarky little Milo out there chirping he's a strange guy I don't want him on my side no is it the pedo thing? it's because of the pedophilia

but he said that he was owning the victim role you don't line up with that I guess it doesn't matter what I line up with it's what the public lines up with he comes off as like a grifter where he believes whatever he needs to believe to get donations i don't think he's an actual conservative yeah he's a he's kind of like like so many of these out of nowhere like look at this

black conservative and it's like wait i was just gonna say candace owens yeah candace owens is a great example what was it a few years ago that she was like totally anti-trump no way no no and then look who comes knocking opportunity does hey all you got to do say these basic neocon talking points that all our donors like and oh wouldn't you know that you know now you suddenly have a big platform now you're talking to people and you know there's so many people like that in politics okay or politics adjacent i don't even know i never considered that he might be fake i mean he might be i don't know yeah i i at this point i assume so many of these people are fake just you know doing whatever gets the the money rolling in but maybe that's too soon i wish i could get the truth i wish i could get

him with a little truth serum like hey just hey, just between us. You know, like a gay Republican, don't you see how, like, you're kind of rooting for the team that roots against you? Well, and the Republicans are so pathetic when it comes to constantly saying the Democrats are identity politics. Also, come to the Jewish Conservative Alliance and also come to the Hispanic Conservative get-together and the Black Conservative meetup and it's like you're doing like you're yeah you hate identity politics so much that you went out to find a gay guy to say things that you're not comfortable saying

otherwise because you feel like he checks a box that you needed checked like it's it doesn't come off as genuine it comes off as like they're gonna check boxes and then hey you can't criticize us for saying this now because look she's black and the uh cancel culture thing is the other hypocritical thing like trump's out there trying to cancel good year because they don't want people wearing like trump shirts at work and it's like dude you're canceled culture too i said it right yeah uh it's a both sides thing some of these i agree yeah so uh before we get rolling one more message from the national highway traffic safety administration if you've ever stopped at a railway crossing and the signals are flashing and you don't see the train or it appears to be moving slowly and you're thinking

maybe you can get across the tracks before the train comes think about this even if the engineer sees you and applies the emergency brakes immediately, it can take over a mile to stop. Over a mile to stop. By that time, it's too late and the resulting crash will be deadly. Stop. Trains can't. If you get hit by a train, they'll make fun of you after you're dead.

Consider that. I will make fun of you for being hit by a train. So don't get hit by a train, guys. And get a hard dick and make a website. All those things. Not getting website ideas. Okay, PKA 512.