Painkiller Already - PKA 513 w Danny Mullen - The Birth of Lock and Load, Show and Tell Reviews, Danny Fights Horse

Episode Date: October 20, 2020

I'm ready now. PKA 513 with our guest Danny Mullen. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by Honey and ExpressVPN. We'll talk more about them a little later. But Danny, I've had hundreds of people, every time your name comes up when I'm streaming, be like, you have to watch Danny Mullen's porno.

You have to watch it. I've said it a hundred times, like, that's actual pornography. I can't watch that here, but I will watch it. And initially, I got to be honest, when I realized it wasn't a video of you fucking someone, I was a little disappointed. But you were in good proximity with the pussy, the dick. All you were really in there. How how was that? Was it was filming a porno exactly what you hoped it would be?

Yeah, it was nice to see a massive black penis in its natural environment. Three feet away from me on a couch and um it was actually a little intense because one of the guys in our crew who came out to be the star of this he was so nervous about getting his dick hard and of course that made him unable to get his dick hard so what did he resort to binge drinking and yeah he binge drank himself to the point where the sex he was having with his girlfriend was making everybody uncomfortable it was dark energy he kept calling her cunt and very dark and he's and he's native american too so every time he drinks i'm gonna help you you exactly he's he's seeing phantoms of General Sherman and Custer floating around.

So the white man took from my people. Exactly. And his girlfriend. I had I had, though, a consent video taken of her three hours before we filmed this thing in broad daylight. I made her consent several times while the Native American guy was having sex with her, and then afterwards I got a full consent video too.

I love that. While the American savage was... I had her look right into the lens with tearful eyes and let us know that she was okay with it. Perfect. Absolutely. That's got to be good for the mood. No one?

No rape yet? No? Okay. Just making sure we're on the right side of the line. Everyone continue. He hears that she's into it. He starts getting soft again. Yes. If you don't act scared, I can't stay hard. Pretend that I snuck up on your camp

in the middle of the night and I've killed your husband. Perfect. Now that I know that he was Native American, I wish that that was the theme of the whole video now, that he was just in full headdress and everything. The theme of the

video was based on Boogie Nights. I called it Bus Boy Buggery. I saw it too idea was we go in we find this guy we steal him from a restaurant so and i heard you you're guys talking about this on the podcast i appreciate that a lot by the way uh what do you believe you said it was it was good content which it was we had a bunch of restaurant themed pranks we got his penis evaluated by a bunch of homosexuals in west hollywood and then we finally brought him back to the room. But the idea was the big crown jewel.

The finale was that he had to ejaculate into his bus tub. But into his what? Into the bus tub. Is that the thing you put all the dishes in when you carry it around? Okay. Exactly. Yeah. As a veteran of the restaurant industry myself i'm very familiar

with this but he was so fucking drunk that he couldn't like climax at all so the theme of a bus boy had no it wasn't reflected in the actual porno at all so i think more people were just confused i have a question if you know you have to fuck on camera who's getting wasted like you want to be the best version of yourself. You want to be a free workout. You're just Red Bulls and boot shoes for hours. Nitric oxide. You want to get a pump? You're not even a sponsor of this video, but that's where I would go.

Danny, my favorite part of the whole thing. I think you took your dick and showed it to a homosexual for evaluation. And then you took what was supposed to be his dick. Now, this guy has a lot of pride and sense of self-importance and worth wrapped up in his dick size i guess it's impressive absolutely and the guy's like not good and it hurt his feelings right but you swapped it with a picture of a micro dick yeah absolutely well the guy what he's referring to the star of this video his name is inland iggy he's a native american and whenever he gets shit-faced all he talks about is his penis it is probably 85 of his self-worth and so when we took him into west hollywood i secretly printed out a picture of a micro penis i found it online it was an aroused penis that was just a head yeah it was it was essentially a gumdrop

super glued to a guy's pelvis. That's what it looked like. Nothing wrong with that. So nothing. You can suppose you can make it work. But we went out there and that's what I was showing these games. And he couldn't see. He was only seeing the back of the paper.

And and then, yeah, I actually showed a guy my penis because he asked. He wanted to see mine in comparison to the micro penis. And he gave me a seven, which I think is incredibly generous because my limp cock is a disgrace. Oh, you went with the flaccid picture, did you? Pro move. There was no picture. This was real stuff in person.

He showed his penis. Oh, okay. So that makes sense. You weren't working. Oh, you just sort of pulled your waistband out and let him check it out. Yeah, which is thankfully it was a hot summer day, but usually that move for me never works.

It was a hot summer day. So you were feeling like you were in a pretty good state. It was like, this is a good day. With me, the term good state is relative. I don't know how he gave me a seven. It was right after. It's called politeness.

If it was like february 10th you would have been like no thank you i want to is that martin luther king day no i would have been soft i just meant it would be cool how much was he compensated for uh for getting his totem pole on camera he that's well zero dollars is the short answer but we promoted him and his girlfriend's onlyFans, and they allegedly made two grand in a day, which I did not see happening. I thought we were completely taking advantage of them,

that he would want the video taken down the next day after he realized he'd only made $2.75 off of it, but it worked out for him. Yeah, $2.75 and all the beer I could drink. Hell of a deal. I like how, you know, I didn't watch the entire thing, but I did skip around and watch a few minutes in different places. And it is funny how, like, when you can tell,

I can tell you sitting there, in your head of, like, making content, you're like, okay, it's been a couple minutes of just dick-sucking. I know I'm making a porno, but we got to get a little bit of, let's get some laughs up here. You're like, hey, let me talk to you about like star signs or something not just take the dick out of your mouth but we gotta we're spicing something up and then yeah like feel free i'll just do a couple minutes of a weird talk show and then be like all right pop that cock back in like but that's yeah i don't blame him for not being able to get hard

at that going on like a demented parrot on his shoulder talking shit I don't want you to be talking to me while I'm fucking ever well it's gonna happen at one point one way or another we all get there when we've been banned from every platform and we're all on OnlyFans that's the only way to get up you're a live streamer Taylor it's chatterbait for you

chatterbait very true how am I gonna compete with all those Russians or Eastern Europeans? That seems to be everything You're much hairier than them, don't worry My name is Igor And I am the poor master You look like an Igor

Igor You know what, now that you say it I see it A little Igor-y Igor something something-ovich like like 100 yeah oh well good i'll have to come up with a good porn name for when all of this goes tits up in the next few years and i need to hop on chatterbait in a few years any second now i'm looking at the chomping at the bit to go to that topic i wanted to go to what type topic, Kyle? What could you be talking about?

There's just so much hate and vitriol in my blood, and I just wanted to spew it all over. I won't, though. We had a little bit of fun spewing beforehand. Oh, we did. We did. I said some horrific things. Not me.

I was nothing but... Well, I was right there next to him. Can I explain it like the way that I described explaining it that we thought might be okay to say?lor are we allowed i guess so so so it's a dark day um one of our i can't even pretend fisticuffs uh fisticuffs some of you may know um was a horrible person. I guess he still is a horrible person, but it was a YouTuber who just attacked Woody for years for no reason because he was jealous of Woody. Never talked to him, never met him. Made up lies about Woody all the time.

I saw Woody at a convention, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, Woody's like, I wasn't even there. I wasn't even there. I was at home with my wife and family. Well, anyway, this wonderful human being, unfortunately, is a little ill right now. You hate to see it, don't you? We hope he pulls through. We all do.

We really hope he pulls through. I don't necessarily hope for that. It's just awful when bad things happen to people we can't talk more about this guy no we're not allowed we're told we're yeah we're being held back okay no problem talking about him pre-show i got all amped up i wanted to hear yeah so it's uh it's sad yeah i'm I'm all broke up about it. Everybody copes differently, Kyle. Everybody does.

I kind of laugh really, really hard. When I'm truly distraught, I smile and laugh out loud. That's how you know. That's when Kyle and Woody are at their saddest, when they're being absolutely ruthless. This is it, right? When I'm tearing up a little as I laugh. For years, he bullied me with 15,000 views a video,

just talking about me again and again while I did nothing. And now bad things happen to him, and you hate to see it. You hate to see it because we've forgiven him for those things. Yeah. You know, I'm not one to keep score. Woody doesn't hold right. wish we would have just let that go off and just not address it i'm not one to keep score i don't i don't remember slights from 2011 no no i that's right it's just not me yeah no my relationship is wherever we left it off high High, low, doesn't matter.

Can we show the picture of him? Yeah, I mean, we're all praying for him. Yes. I didn't know he was... I never knew anything about the guy or had contact with him. I wouldn't say praying for him as much as I'm praying about him. About him?

I didn't know he was... He looks kind of old. Let me see a picture of this guy. He's younger than me. Don't look it. See that gray hair that makes all the difference. Batten the mask that's keeping him alive.

The mask doesn't help. I feel like I can't throw stones at the mask. I'm like one step better than that for sleeping every night. He's like, now let's not get ridiculous. Well, we've been raising money all day to help out with his care because that's why he tweeted this out. Obviously, he can't afford his care.

Woody, myself, Taylor, Danny, we all chipped in. We've got eight cents together and we're going to send it right over yeah i gave him million or no i have millions and i gave fist of cuffs all that i care to spare that's right actually all the whole eight cents came from taylor and that's because he doesn't know him yeah so good luck fist yeah we're we're praying about you i'm so confused that we can tee off on this guy it's like the movies when they slide up against that cliff and they're just like

turns the surface over the side we almost fell into the terms of service yeah i have a round chamber the crosshairs on his ventilator and i'm waiting to unload something yeah it seems like you guys are i'm not gonna say it i i all right between my cpap and my first aid kit i have 80 of my halloween costume already dude please dress up for halloween pretty please and then the the costume that i told you that i'm gonna wear will go so well with that i know i know i can't do it i can't do it but it's hilarious because taylor could dress as the antithesis of my halloween costume and we can have a whole argument about about about oh where I land yeah yeah it'd be great that is a good bit and we're sort of stretching this for a while

horrific things um I heard the most horrific thing I've ever heard in my life uh yesterday uh from one of our wonderful patrons all right if you'd like to become one of our patrons it's it's uh a link down below. You jump in the Discord with all the other $50 a month patrons. There's like 40 or 50 of them or something. We have a good time. We play a lot of games together. We chat into the wee hours of the night. One of these gentlemen

whose name I won't disclose unless the investigators ask me about it explained that on the dark web he saw where you could order these young women to be delivered to your home. Real ones? Yes, living women delivered to your home.

And they would arrive in such a state that their arms and legs had been removed. They had been blinded and had their voice boxes removed. This isn't real. This can't be real. And they were essentially living fuck dolls, which would be delivered to your home. And one of the other patrons had a good laugh about that.

And I'm just sitting over there. You know when you're a kid and something awful happens and you just go real pale and sickly and you lose your appetite? I'm like, that's me i'm just sitting here like well vermentide isn't quite as much fun anymore now that i know that real people you framed it like they're real people these are dolls these are living human beings who have been kidnapped mutilated put into boxes and but see this doesn't make sense because there's still people that would have to eat.

And so you're feeding and wiping their ass and balancing them on the toilet, I assume. So your entire life now is taking care of a blind, deaf, dumb person with no limbs. That's a terrible trail. You've got dogs. My dogs can see and feed themselves, and I just open the door and they go shit and then come back. This is a full-time commitment. It's the same thing. It's like a roly-poly. Having your voice boxed doesn't mean

that you're just silent forever. It means that you're just going to hear a ghoul that's like, coming from the other room for the rest of her life. That's my love language and you're being kind of judgy. I was about to say, that's my theme music. Okay. Guys, first of all, you don't have to go onto the dark web to get one of these things you just got a venmo 350 dollars to danny dash mullen and second of all uh that joke bomb that's

all i got dude so now these are real people i thought we were talking about in the pre-show you mentioned it something about fuck dolls i thought we were talking about sex dolls i know like you were meant to think that yes oh and i was wondering thought we were talking about sex dolls i know like you were meant to think that yes oh and i was wondering like what's wrong with sex dolls because you can just buy sex dolls on the regular internet but now i see a dismembered ukrainian girl with no eyes yes running indecipherably as you like ukrainian sex slaves are the most prestigious ones. These ones are coming from Guatemala, dude. This is five barrel shit.

This isn't the high rung. This isn't the in-demand ones, I suppose. You always hear about the Eastern European ones being the most spot-out. We've garnered one of the darkest communities on the fucking internet. Because all the other guys in there were like, Ha ha! That's great! the fucking internet because like because like all the other guys in there just were like ha ha that's great and i was just like every day we stray further from you can see why i had to drop like 300 on a high-end foot pedal to cut off text to speech

and i do this thing where when i die i do push-ups and pull-ups as a punishment kind of thing. Every fucking time, there's this one guy who's like, Woody drinks cum, Woody drinks cum, Woody drinks cum. Non-stop, while I'm away from the keyboard. My fans. I just pepper that for me randomly, little treats. I heard you drink cum. I heard you drink cum.

It's going around. Well, I mean, you get your protein where you can find it watching the other night or i guess just last night on uh stream hotel hell it's just like kitchen nightmares but you know still got gordon ramsey but now he's roasting the whole hotel and i had to get rid of the vod even though it's just a gordon ramsey show because it was there were two instances that for no reason showed Gordon Ramsay's ass getting into a shower at the hotel. Two instances

in the same episode where he's like, this wallpaper is just ghastly. And it's like, why are you walking into the bathroom while the camera guy's here? And then he just drops side shot of Gordon Ramsay's ass twice. No reason. This is like a cable show. The reason is he's been working out and he's proud of his ass.

Technically, you can show anything on cable. There's no FCC that regulates it. Huh. Well, the Tony and Lawson Twitch don't want you to see that wonderful booty he's been sculpting and working hard on. It's a damn shame. Dude, I would fucking love to talk to this guy. He does this thing where he's

kind of tall. You know how if a 10-year-old and you're like scolding them you get down to their level or like a dog and you're like you know do you understand what you did wrong there buddy yeah you can't trip him that blah blah blah he does that to adult men on these shows where he'll be like do you realize what fucking retards you are you you look at me look down look away look at me and these are the other guys like five six and he's totally hunched over absolutely hands on his on his like the tops of his thighs and like bends over to them oh really you thought it was a good idea to say frozen food it's fucking roll i like all that shit your accent is so good a lot of gordon ramsay he's great but yeah he's got a

pretty nice butt too nice i have a hangout. Kyle, I know you're aware of this. Apparently, there's a new $50 Patreon who wants to, this month, is it his wife or his girlfriend? He wants to fuck on camera during the next hangout. This is just getting weird, guys. I can employ this guy. Right? I can give this guy a forum for his... He's paying us.

We're going to be making money. He's like, Woody, he asked for my permission in the form of a donation on my Twitch stream, and I'm like, I'll write it by the boys, but I think we're getting a thumbs up on this one. But like, I don't want

I don't want to watch an entire fuck session. I do. No, Taylor does not speak for us. No. The walk away pussy. Let me tell you what I want, god damn it. Oh no. She has to do that thing where she shows the semen on her tongue before swallowing it. That would be a proper

hangout. No, no, no, no. I want it all over her face for an uncomfortable period of time. Like it's gone cold. It's gone cold. It's starting to turn crusty. When Kyle said no, I knew his idea wouldn't be worse. I knew it would be fine with whatever he didn't like. I was like, no, no, no, no.

I'm not offended. This is going to be better. Okay. I'm on board with you. I want at least two camera angles. I like the camera angle where her face is right in the camera right here. She looks afraid, of course course i need that if i'm gonna finish and and he's sort of behind her and uh so yeah if you want to become a 50 patron again

link down below apparently we're having a fuck show this month i don't want don't put one of the cameras on your balls and ass area no actually the low and uh the look the behind and low look is okay for me i i can deal with that it really hinges on the guys you cut away you cut away grooming boys essential i gotta ask you guys the guy who knows about the nub fuck sex traffic dolls did you guys ask him how he found out about those things uh he claimed that a friend or roommate of his found it on the dark web how does the dark web work it's just unsearchable regular internet right am i missing something it's one of those things that i've heard it enough but i've never asked anyone and now i don't i've had it explained to me and uh and i still don't exactly know

it's like the scary internet and well we know that but i think it's just regular internet but they're not indexed by google or anything like you have to know it to find it and also you need a different browser right they use the what do you use the onion browser yeah i think that's what tor stands for anyway um but i don't think i think that's for i'm not sure i was gonna say i think that's for safety but maybe you do need it i'm not sure i'm not sure. I was going to say I think that's for safety, but maybe you do need it. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. What else do you think other than drugs and limbless prostitutes and assassins? I honestly thought that Kyle might know something about it.

No, I stay away from that based on my criminal history. It seems like I should stay away from it. It was back then that I thought you learned about it. Yeah, everybody thinks that I order drugs from someone like, oh yeah, this guy will send me weed. I had a friend do it. I had a trusted colleague send me the weed. Not Chiz. I thought you went on the internet

and ordered it. No. That'd be insane. Your trusted colleague didn't package it correctly. No, they didn't. And probably ratted me out for being honest. Do you remember how long we all had to be like

like what was going on? Do you remember like the entire time the case was going on and everything we all maintained like and they're saying they found weed there but who ordered it? Where did it come from? It's just banana and the whole time I'm like he absolutely

was ordering weed to his house. Of course I was but I couldn his house. Of course I was. But I couldn't admit the crimes that I had. I'm on PKA. It's not like Kyle to smoke pot. Meanwhile, like everyone in the floor. I don't even know what it looks like. Meanwhile, the first 300 episodes, there's no camera.

It's just Kyle represented by gurgling sounds and shit. Chiz was such a good friend. One time we were doing an episode like and i and my camera was not on and neither was chiz's maybe it was back when we all did just audio on only and uh and i forgot to mute my mic and i grabbed my bong and i was like bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble and and i'm and and somebody somebody said something and chiz goes oh that was me that was me i was i was smoking i was smoking a little little little weed here in my legal state of california and i was just like perfect he just

he gave you a nice little i am spartacus moment you know no one i'm high no i'm hot we're all high yes but the people on the show could see exactly where the audio was coming from of course they could and they also knew that i was high for like 300 episodes on the show could see exactly where the audio was coming from. Of course they could. And they also knew that I was high for like 300 episodes of the show, like scary, scary high all the time. I think they put some pieces together. Yeah.

Like you go back to those old episodes. Every time I get up, I don't have a bladder infection, guys. I'm getting stoned. All right. You think I got a piss 12 times an hour? No. You're taking little boundary breaks.

I just have extreme tolerance to weed. I got like a big pile of it sitting just right there off camera, and I've got two grinders working all the time to keep ahead of me. At the time, you were just absolutely powering through like six Dr. Peppers every episode. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So thirsty. Like hot in mouth. So thirsty. So dry. So dry. through like six dr peppers every episode oh yeah yeah so thirsty so dry so dry well someday soon

you'll be back to your dream getting high all the time yeah they're working on it um now you know they're working on the legal stuff uh no updates no no i've heard absolutely nothing uh i don't know and it was a holiday weekend so i think that delayed some things to some extent. Yeah. That's the look I had when I was told it was a holiday weekend. What was it? I don't know. One of my lawyers is Jewish.

So God knows they've got so many. You know, what's not fair is Jewish people get to take off Christian holidays. We don't get to take off Jewish holidays. We should in the, in the interest of fairness, if Jews are going to take off Jewish holidays, we should get to take off Jewish holidays,

we should get to take off Jewish holidays too. That's not exactly true. They just burn their PTO. Like, you can take Jewish holidays off. Oh. Okay, all right. What do you think smoke breaks at work? Yeah. He's never smoked a cigarette.

Dude, I thought I had invented the secondhand smoke break and then some guy from my text to speech said that his father is like two years older than me and he invented it i guess i would do that when i worked i wouldn't do the smoke break thing because they didn't have that uh but when i worked at the car rental place i would go take by the time i was like almost done there and like my tenure was up and i just truly genuinely didn't fucking care i would like go take almost an hour-long bathroom break sometimes just go sit in there until like a manager would text me like hey what's up and then i would come in because i was an airport location

and i would just by that point just lie and be like i was outside doing fleet stuff or if they i was coming outside from inside i was inside helping organize something so you're just sitting on a toilet that by like the last couple weeks there i was i was so exhausted with it did you bother taking your pants off or are you like just just sitting on a toilet oh there was well i wasn't really on the toilet the whole time i would go there and be like i kind of 10 of me has to shit then go a shit. And then I would go actually up by this Mexican restaurant on the upstairs, but not past the security. And I would sit there and sometimes have chips. How, hey, how hard was that job?

First of all, that you were hiding from, we were just in Wichita, Kansas, renting a car. And I feel like there were five people dealing with the car rental process over the course of the entire day. Why was this so stressful for you? It was like there were either because like everybody's staffing, it didn't know what the fuck they were doing either. So there were either so many people there was no purpose there or there were so few that there may as well.

It may as well be close. We can't even run it. We can't even do it. But yeah, you can only and this was like in the last couple of weeks. I obviously didn't do this most of the time i worked there but after like i don't know the 10th time i'm there at 1 a.m and and 70 people come in from seattle on a late flight and i have to explain to all of them and call them cabs and say you don't have a car sorry and like yeah you i made a reservation you know what that means hey hurt sky can you please help me out like

i was just like this sucks are you selling the insurance taylor uh no i don't get any commission and it's a scam like you you openly ask me to lie to people like that was one of the things not openly asked to lie that is sales in a lot of ways they'd be like always be sure to be like and does your credit card cover that and then or no no they would tell you to say because people go my credit card covers that which is very standard very true lots of credit cards offer rental card coverage and it's fine and, they would tell you to say, cause people go, my credit card covers that, which is very standard, very true. Lots of credit cards offer rental car coverage and it's fine. And they would like tell us to just like throw darts of doubts. Like I was hearing from some other guy once thought he was covered now living in a double wide by the way, the whole UConn act, like they would like try and try and amp it up.

Oh, that, that job fucking sucked. But that makes it also suck. Wouldn't they make you wash cars sometimes in your suit? I the first fucking day I showed up at that job, I was wearing really nice shit. And it was at an insurance replacement branch where everybody who comes in just got in a car accident and is so mad at you because you're telling them that like their insurance doesn't cover it. Like, I just my car's totaled. You're telling like it was everybody's in a bad mood. And my boss first day is like, hey, taylor you don't know all the software yet go wash cars and i just ruined my

shoes standing in tepid old filth water spraying down at the time like a 2011 whatever the fuck car then you whip it back around and oh here's here's your car sir you have to go and they'll be hey go pick up this motherfucker way out there that was the best part of the job just getting in the car and listening to open anthony and just driving purposefully like taking longer than necessary to get there and then just whipping it back because those were some uncomfortable conversations but it doesn't have to press you doesn't it depress you when you see people that are they have gray hair and should be around retirement age working those shitty jobs that you used to have restaurant jobs car rental we just went into a party city in

kansas and unfortunately the guy uh was at the receiving end of one of our bits and we fucked with him a lot but this guy was probably 65 years old just a regular clerk at a party city suicide i would have killed myself 30 years ago if i were him yeah that that is sad like i would definitely remember because it'd be like a shift. And every once in a while, it'd be like, it's like a bunch of people in their early twenties and then one 47 year old, 48 year old guy.

And it's like, Oh my God, dude, like this sucks. Like you're at the same place I am right now. Like that is, that's a rough one, man.

And you had hope to the whole time. You I'm sure wanted to do something else with your life. A lot of these guys have nothing to look for. Yeah yeah yeah that was terrible i couldn't imagine being a career server like the guys i used to work with who had no hopes of advancement and they would just drink every night to drown their pain why is there no servers are almost always alcoholics in my experience i had a couple of roommates and uh when i was like 20 and one of them worked at this place in atlanta called the goldfish which is kind of a nice restaurant it was a bar back and he had a severe drinking problem like i remember one day he like listed

what he'd had to drink that day and it was like it was a plethora of alcohol all sorts of things he had had he's like in his fucking broken lithuanian accent he's like well i had two bottles of wine and 18 beers and then i had 14 grandmas and it sounds like minnesota not lithuania yeah if he was a lithuanian uh minnesota minnesotan and uh yeah he was just every day he'd cut by when he got back from work he'd be just trashed he'd limp into the fucking apartment and put death metal on the speakers and listen to it for four fucking hours till he went to sleep until he passed out and started all over again yeah yeah there was a dude i worked with in vegas named michael who every single day he came to work,

he was completely shit-faced drunk to the point where our manager, who was cool, was telling him to put in a breath mint, take a 15-minute timeout downstairs to sober up. This guy would tell me stories about going over to Caesar's Palace and losing two grand on just any given weeknight of the week. The paychecks they were getting as servers were probably like $300 for the hardest eight losing two grand on just any given weeknight of the week. What I mean, the paychecks they were getting his servers were probably like $300 for the hardest eight hours you could ever put in. So that would drive me fucking nuts. I couldn't believe what this guy was doing,

but then this all came to a head when he was driving to work. So shit based at 2 PM one day that he cut across four lanes of traffic to get to the off ramp. He needed to get to the wind hotel to work. needed to get to the Wynn Hotel to work. A cop pulls him over. They take him to jail. He's married, by the way. His wife is nine months pregnant. She has the baby

that afternoon while this motherfucker's in the drunk tank. So not only does he miss his shift at the fucking Jardin restaurant at the Wynn, he misses his child being born this fucking drunk. So it wasn't all bad was it a boy or just a girl it was a girl and her mom was asian so they might have seen that tweet from that woman the other day she's like about to find out if i'm having a a girl or an

abortion a girl or an abortion yeah i feel like yeah he wanted a girl i'm having a little girl or an abortion? Yeah, I feel like that. He wanted a girl. I'm having a little girl or an abortion. Hopefully. Is it like 20 weeks when you find out the sex? Maybe it's 12. I think it's sooner than that. It's sooner than 20. God, I hope so. I'm mixed. I don't remember. I could Google it, but I won't.

I won't because by the time we find the answer i'll be like i didn't really care it's never good content that's why it's never didn't really yeah yeah but i mean you can get those abortions right up until like i mean if as long as the feet are still inside on the inside part of the feet yeah yeah i think as long as the head's still on the inside no you No, you can get the head most of the way out. That's how they do partial birth abortions. There were some stories a couple years ago. A doctor in the UK, some lady,

apparently being so impatient with the birthing process, pulled the kid so hard that she decapitated the baby. Is that real? Yeah. And she was suspended for a while, and then she got her license to practice back. I gotta find this article. She needed more practice. That could be a, you know,

one beheading, and you don't get to play in that department. Yeah, here it is. Mother relives the day her baby was decapitated during birth. Wow. Yeah, real news. They gave her a picture. They gave her the husband's ditch.

Here's the problem. She was, she was 25 weeks pregnant. Oh, so this baby was still cooking. I think, I think, well,

I'm not going to read all this. It's pretty, she's, here's a quote. I didn't hear him crying. At one point, here's another this. Here's a quote. I didn't hear him crying. Here's another one. I felt a pop. That's terrible.

It's so bad. Can you imagine the trauma of having a child get addicted and fight you? I have this image of the doctor being like, almost there, almost there. Boop! Showing that to everyone. I have this image of the doctor being like, almost there, almost there. Boop! Ah!

Like showing the head to everyone. Oh, that's so dark. Oh, we're like... Oh, do you think they pulled on the head or the body? Or the ankles? Probably the head. So it was the shoulders that were stuck. Yeah. Which would you prefer?

The whole body being still inside or just the head i think i want to get the head out because it's yeah we're saying it's one of the same thing i think you want to pull the head off and then be like ah there's just a body in there and not when we still have to get the head out yeah yeah because i have my rolling around speaking of my restaurant job there's the moment when you like capsize a tray full of plaster expensive glass cups and you have to tell a manager what happens when you're the nurse you decapitate a baby like who's the first person you tell or be like yeah i just the janitor i had your ass you're gonna have mine

like what what did she what did she do? Did she just show the fucking head To the mother, to the head doctor there? She's like, ah, not again I don't feel good I gotta go home Just run out of there You try to put it back in, maybe

If I just set it here like this Then the next person who touches it will think they did it I like the way you break things as a child. I put a base back together just barely. You're just barely setting the head, resting on the pillow, and you're like, Doctor, have a look. Oh, what'd you do? Doctor! You decapitated the

child, and he's like, no! You can't prove that. Do parents normally see the baby coming out? Yeah. If they want to, they can. I have friends who did it that way and the other way. So our kids came for your C-section. And I think I peeked at one moment, but mostly they had me sitting in a chair.

And there were surgical gowns, almost surgical privacy. I couldn't see. So they pulled the baby up and presented him and her but i didn't actually see them yeah yeah a lot like the lion king but it didn't i didn't see them emerge from the incision like god so it was being a server the shittiest job you ever had, Danny? I can't think of any other job that would give me as much misery as I had being a server. There were a couple of really low class restaurant jobs. I had a little Mexican taquerias or this dog shit Chinese food restaurant place, which I'm pretty sure it was just a money laundering operation for the Yakuza. The first night I worked there, the first night I

worked there, the managers brought in a guy who had just been stabbed. This Asian guy they were friends with got stabbed out front and they had some Yakuza doctor come in and stitch him up while they were counting my tips. But when I worked at a five-star restaurant or a four-star, I get confused between hotels and restaurants, which one stars five or four, a good one in San Francisco. That job was six hours of nonstop work, refilling condiments, retrieving plates from the upstairs dishwasher, serving food. And according to this ridiculous protocol to stuffy opera going old, rich white women, while an asshole fucking chef is screaming in your face down in the kitchen yeah man i hated my life every single minute of that like an asshole at that job

how'd you did you have to dress up not really thankfully but uh yeah i got i got fired basically because i didn't take the job seriously we were I would try to introduce some fun into it by fucking around. We were supposed to, but I just wore my Niners Jersey. I had, yeah, it's casual. I sweat pants Friday.

Yeah. I don't just a restaurant job is not the way to go. If anybody's listening here, who's like around my age and hopefully there aren't any of those middle-aged people we were talking about who are still looking to get into the food service industry but i worked sales jobs afterward that was my last full-time job or was one of my last full-time jobs before i made it big on youtube just being up big on youtube i want to do sure but it's true yeah but like being able to sit down in a fucking chair and not have to run up and down a staircase in San Francisco while food's coming out was such a fucking relief. Yeah, it was awful, man.

This is the job you want if you're out there and you have no future. I worked at a hotel. And you know when you're at a hotel and you ask for an extra blanket or pillow or something like that, someone brings it to you. That was me. So what I actually did is I went to the model room the room that people would look at to see if they wanted to stay there and i watched television and i had a pager and they'd page me and just say like you know room 326 needs a pillow and i'd get it to them i would work six hour shifts and work maybe like 40 minutes over the course of that six hours i

mostly watched television but it was it was nerve-wracking because they thought i was working like they're like just run around look for things that need cleaning and clean it so you know i'd maybe windex the hotel uh i'm sorry the elevator doors every once in a while but by and large fucking hiding all i did was hide mostly in the model room sometimes in the back room that's such a hack i had a couple jobs like that and you feel like you've just won the game of life when you stumble upon one of those jobs the problem is when you apply for a job but it tends out to be really fucking shitty you don't have the courage to quit because the hiring process

took a long time the uh the bosses make it feel like your job is important and they did you have responsibility so your ego is like oh i can't quit i must forge ahead but uh you should quit and you should go get a job like that i had two jobs at the time and it would be really hard to have two hard jobs at the same time yeah so it was nice that my night job was just barely working yeah that's how you want a bouncer being a bouncer is a great you can be a bouncer in a safe city that's the best job i ever had as long as you have like a stool you were a bouncer i know you do the jets but you don't have that how big are you six three so i'm tall i'm really skinny but you they can't tell when i'm dressed up in like a coat. Oh, when I have my North face on,

I look tough. Yeah. Yeah. I worked in the Marina of San Francisco and the most threatening thing there is when some yuppie dude tells you he's going to buy out your family or sue you. And the hardest part of the job, the guy who hired me says,

I'm paying you not to try to fight these guys to not take the bait and start swinging on some dude who came from a boarding school in Connecticut. Other than that, though, there were never any fights. I'm going to buy out your whole family. Oh, well, if we can agree on a price, I think that's okay. Let's make this a win-win. I wouldn't even know what to say if someone approached me with that line of, like, I'm going to buy you out. Do I get millions in this? How is this a loss loss i didn't know i had anything worth buying out what are you are you gonna pay my mortgage off like what are you doing yeah a dude a dude who i told he couldn't come in once because he was too fucked up he tried as like a means of putting me down to

get me to guess which company he worked for as if i was gonna completely reverse my decision not to let him in he's like guess which company i fucking work as if I was going to completely reverse my decision not to let him in. He's like, guess which company I fucking work for. Do you know who you're not letting into this bar? Guess where I work. Comptasters Incorporated. Comptasters Incorporated. Sampling department at the sperm bank. What else?

What else is a bad job? Dick Sucker. Fluffer. sperm bank you know what else what else is a bad job uh dick sucker um yeah that's kind of going the same themes here you're just standing there like you take his bad joke and like you save him you work for a blow job incorporated and it's like damn it, now I'm on the hook. Hopefully he throws another bad one out there to save me. So did you guess what company he worked for? No. Did you play the game? I didn't actually.

I think I threw out IBM just to get him away from me and he was gravely insulted that I'd said IBM which I guess had reached its peak in the 90s and was no longer relevant. Yeah, I don't know, man. Rite Aid? Just get out of here. Rite Aids are terrible.

What's good? What's your preferred one? CVS? CVS and Walgreens are both way nicer. CVS is probably the cleanest. Are Walgreens carpeted though? Some of them aren't. Some of them aren't but uh yeah rite aids are all dingy dirty shitty yeah cvs in my neck of the woods cvs are always nice they're they're carpeted they're kind of quiet which i guess i like you walk into a cvs

and it's like a library and uh you pick your stuff out they arrange the things on the shelves in the most like fuckwad way possible like it i don't know why i have to walk every goddamn aisle i suspect it's by design the thing that you want like oh i have a let's look for ibuprofen yeah that'll be far this corner from the door so you have to see everything else first it's like who put this labyrinth together in cvs that's fucking me over and all right i will have a cadbury egg oh you need some bleach that is uh that's past the horrible pharmacy toys and the the spooky skeletons and cobwebs hanging from the ceiling taylor is that part of your job for a living where you like get people to walk past your product

oh well i mean like yeah but generally the stores do that like the merchandising companies like not uh so like those people who like research at cvs corporate they know exactly where to do it like the same reason that costco i think it's every couple months they totally reorganize all of the important things in their store so that if you come back after a long trip, it's like, wait, this isn't where the Cheez-Its were. Oh, but that's an interesting treat. Oh, this is a new kind of soda. They do that. They'll put like items in places where you

remember it. I've read too that all the shittiest deals are right at eye level. So at 5'8 is where the most overpriced items are and then down at like 3'11 feet and inches wise. Everything's cheap and then up around like the 6'2 range wise everything's cheap and then up around like the 6 foot 2 range everything's cheap there

midget advantage midget advantage NBA player advantage the midget advantage this bag this whole world's lined up for them to succeed

midget privilege that's what it is. I'd hang myself from the shortest rope I could find. It'd be a longer rope, wouldn't it? No, it'd be a cheaper rope because you're talking about prices. You'd be buying. No, he's suggesting that they would need more rope to hang themselves because

their necks are almost at floor level. Oh, you're right. You probably would need more rope. Yeah. Okay. When level. Oh, you're right. You probably would need more rub. Yeah. Okay. But when you're right, you're right. Then you're right. Actually, as I think about the disabilities someone might have,

little person's not the worst of them. No, it's not the worst of them. You could be one of those roly-poly fuck dolls I mentioned earlier. That would suck. Yeah, but somebody did that to you with a torch and a knife. Like, you weren't born that way. Kyle, let's say suicide wasn't an option, and you had to choose between having... Suicide's always an option.

You had to have a one-arm disabled flipper, or maybe let's do both. Both arms disabled flippers, or little person. How much can I move my arms and what is my grabbing capacity? What can I do? Pretty much you've got fully functional elbows. Can I swim really well now? You have gills.

It's like this kind of functionality. No thumbs, just kind of flip down. Sure, I hadn't thought this through, but yeah, that works. Oh, definitely I'm taking flipper. Yeah. What if you don't have working fingers? Hands cut off, right? You've got wrists. Yeah. What if you don't have, like, working fingers? You just, like, hands cut off, right?

You've got wrists. So you can do all kinds of squeezing and manipulation. You could probably even figure out a way to eat that way. Can't I get new hands? Like some, even Edward Scissorhands style. You could, like, tape a machete to your arm or something. There's workable ways. I'm going to tape a machete to my hand.

Jamie Lannister is all you can pull off kyle oh i'm still taking the no hands guy really oh no i'd much rather be a little person look all right are we talking about like like peter dinklage or like oh yeah or we man uh or not we man uh uh mini man yeah like if it's if we're talking about mini me i'm taking no hands we're talking about tyrian lannister i'm taking dwarf yeah i was thinking peter dinklage when i said that right it's like another thing last i was watching a tv show about little people and uh his brother was like normal size or average size but i think they call him average size anyway he's like yeah so in high school my brother doesn't really clean up with the girls or anything but he goes to a little

person convention once or twice a year and when he goes there he's bawling like all the girls are fawning over him he is the king of the little people good looking kid and uh is he himself a little person i might have missed that tidbit the brother's normal sized and the young the other brother that that balls out this is a little person too right so in high school this little person you know is not the the king of the ball yeah nobody wants to fuck a midget i got you but when you're saying the little guy when he's doing well when he goes to the conventions now he's among his own kind yeah right now he goes he and they showed him i don't know if it's for the cameras he literally had a girl on each arm you know

like they were competing for his oh uh right kyle would never have a three-way no there's something like inherently trashy about like the kind of can george get pregnant or are they kind of like mules? Yeah, they're like mules. Exactly. They can't reproduce with one another. You have to find a human being.

You have to get a human being and a dwarf together and then you can create another dwarf. Jesus Christ. Some people say they just do you guys remember the uh do you guys remember the author tucker max the guy who wrote those like i i hope they serve beer and hell books about getting fucked up and fucking a bunch of chicks i never read him but i know who he is yeah yeah yeah he's got a joke in one of those books it's a really funny but maybe the most offensive joke i can remember ever hearing and i told it in front of a black guy one night

when i was a little fucked up the joke in the book is i just saw a black midget walk by me can somebody remind me what's one half times three fifths i'm trying to figure out how much of a person he is that's in that book and i said that joke like thinking that was okay to say in front of an african-american gentleman once and uh it wasn't wasn't he didn't he didn't they've been doing that during the supreme court uh you know what someone helped amy bennett something what's her name the supreme court the supreme court justice um that they're interviewing rightett something what's her name the supreme court the supreme court justice um that they're interviewing right now for she's going to get the job her name is amy something

amy barrett okay so anyway she has seven children and two of them are adopted and they're black so she also is this originalist which means that she really likes to interpret the law and the Constitution as the founding fathers meant to do it. I could go on about that, but that's her thing. So they're like, here she is pictured with her sixth and one fifth children. There's six of them because there's five white ones and then two, three children as the founding fathers would have determined. two, three-fifths children, as the founding fathers would have determined. What was the order of that? Did they adopt the two kids and then have five of their own kids?

Or did they have five kids and go, we can handle two more, but I don't want to get pregnant two more times? Because if they already had five kids, what are you doing, man? I'm not sure at all. The adopted kids look older in the pictures, but you don't know that maybe they didn't get them as little kids. Maybe they got like 10 year olds. They skipped the hard years. That would be the biggest benefit to adoption is that you're like,

all right, like if you're going to adopt right now, like Kyle, someone, it's a gun to your head situation. You have to adopt a child or have a child of your own. Think about this. You're trigger.

You pulled the trigger. Pussy. Kyle, there's a better plan. There's a better plan. Adopt a child that is 17 years and 11 months old. It can't be that old, but let's say you get yourself a prime 2000. You got any without any arms or legs?

I'm trying to make money on this endeavor. Just going to feed it fucking Alpo. Fucking baby food. You have to kiss it, Kyle. Like it's fucking RoboCop. He only ate fucking baby food you have to kiss it like it's like it's fucking robo like robocop he only ate the baby food just you could definitely yeah it'd be way easier to adopt a kid that was like eight and you're like already potty trained or i can already talk i want one to work a fucking job at least nine i you think that kids who get adopted at like 16

are like why even bother you know no they want to fucking forever god damn it why even bother you think they want to be on the streets at 17 well no there's there's got to be a little feeling of insulted right like you live your whole life in a foster home you're seeing people get snagged up like puppies in the in the pound and then someone chooses you at like 16 and a half you can already drive and it's like i can just imagine the conversation like thank you so much mr wilson for finally adopting me i've been in that home for 14 years i i've waited so long for someone that would really love me he's just like i just needed some tax breaks it's a it's

been a good year yeah you are we're gonna name you dependent my co-worker did that she uh she adopted she was really sweet she adopted two russian kids and they intended to adopt one but it turned out they were brother sister and they're like well we're not just gonna like grab the grab one and be like yeah you know you're not as cute so they grabbed both of them and they were oldish maybe not 16 but call them like they might have been maybe 16 14 or 15 13 like you know you're we're ballparking it here what other teens could they have been certainly not 17 17 18, 19-ish? I'm saying they were two years apart. They were trying to pick pairs. And anyway, it was pretty cool. And I think these kids really like their family.

She was well-to-do. It's much better than home. Dude, their home was very nice. And I think, you know, like, they land in this situation. Suddenly college is not just an option but an expectation. And the kids were pretty smart. Their English was pretty good. They were native Russian.

And yeah, I think Taylor had this idea that like, what's the point? No. They stay their children for the rest of their lives. That lasts a long time. I mean, that part makes 100% sense. Why don't you adopt a kid me not you i can't tell who you're talking to but age without any fucking kids the one over here that's playing russian roulette every night with his cock every night i'm impressed to her now i think you're talking about me i don't know what you're talking about me. I don't know what you're talking about now. It's really not smart of me to be taking

zinc and all these cum promoting pills. Taylor and I compared our load stacks. I sent a picture of mine. He's like, I got the same stuff. He sent me a picture and sure enough, he's got the same four or five bottles of pills.

You guys take pills to shoot the bigger cumulones? Yeah, yeah. Why? He's like, you're not taking enough soy lecithin though, Kyle. You need to double that. And I swear to God, I did double it. I doubled it right there. And you got the sunflower kind, didn't you?

The sunflower lecithin or lecithin. Yes, the sunflower lecithin, yeah. Before you guys keep nerding out on this, there are two things I don't understand. why guys care about the size of their load and why anybody would be excited about or their favorite part of a porn video would be the money shot i never watched the money shot i don't give a shit what does this come what is this load size worshiping you guys added that i don't like the money shot in there either. I don't like it. It offends my tastes.

I'm the man who can't finish it all, just like me. No, I like the money shot. It's about the girl's enthusiasm for the money shot. That's where the hot part is. Okay. No, it's the opposite of that for me. It's all for us. I want to hear from these two sickos.

Why do you guys care about your low sex? There's a subreddit called, like, cum-hating girls or something like that. And it's all girls getting, like, facials and hating it. Let me find it. That sounds funny. That's not hot to me. No, no.

She should be, like, cum-haters. It's our cum-hat haters and it's hashtag because they look so good when they hate it wait but kyle taylor seriously guys why do you take supplements to get a bigger load uh because it's hilarious it's hilarious and uh and it's really fun just you know absolutely like smothering and covering someone with jizz. It's more than you would guess. It's an enormous amount. Part of it was like curiosity.

It was like we started taking the Bluetooth things, and it was like, wow, that is an enormous amount of different – like you're just hard instilling. Okay. And then it was like, huh, what else do they got? People always say zinc for loads. And so I think Kyle and I probably did the same thing where it was like Googling what else there is for that. And it was just a couple other things.

And I was like, I may as well give it a go. What's the one that starts with a P that's for like prostate health? It's like polyglym or. I think L-arginine. I'll take L-arginine, like these big fucking horse pills, the sunflower lecithin, the zinc, and then the other. I'll take L-arginine like these big fucking horse pills the sunflower lecithin the zinc and then the other, I'll grab it

it's just P something or nothing my mind thinks that cum haters is horrible and abusive but my dick is like yeah you're like okay okay and Taylor so are you psyched, is this best when you're just

beating off you like a fat load or when you're getting laid it's great just to pull out and shoot all over a girl's stomach like when is it the most enjoyable to have a giant definitely when you're getting laid okay like i mean you're just making a mess for yourself if it's jacking off like that that's counterintuitive you know i do pat myself on the back sometimes when I shoot a forceful load. There we go. Hydrating show that a lot of Charmin who's fucking boss right through it. You know, full metal jacket loads. And so what is it? Yeah. called okay let's see this zinc 50

milligrams that's more zinc than i take i take a lot more than that i've got some other stuff with zinc in the sunflower lecithin i take four of these let me show you how big these are is this daily yes daily they're so big they have calories it's true they're fucking huge you take four of them four of these a day every six hours I hope every six hours

every 20 minutes it's all I eat now I wake up in the middle of the night you have a tremendous amount of sunflower oil in your blood and then pygium Igium uh i think two of these take two of these and then um l-arginine yeah a thousand yeah it was literally just some dude's post online there's like these seem to work and that one l-arginine and l-lysine whatever

they're called that that those are like in pretty much every single pre-workout and lots of protein shakes so it must be good for other stuff too so you guys got to break down which benefit from all these pills is the most important to you because i did a video where i took cock pills the ones that are advertised on the corner of pornhub that are supposed to make your dick permanently bigger. We took those to a pharmacist, and she dispelled it outright. It could have been dangerous, too.

That's right. So are you guys hoping to just get hard quicker when the opportunity arises? Have a harder dick when you're fucking? No, I take 10 milligrams of Cialis every day for the hard dick. This is for big loads. This is for like this this

has nothing to do with getting your dick this is this is 10 spurts minimum massive wads of cum okay count next time i bet it's a lot for you for a mortal you if you you take and i you know kyle's better about taking it every day i I forget often. I go five days in a row and then you just have sex the first time in the while. You will surprise yourself and your partner with it. It's honestly

retarded. She wears a life preserver during sex to prevent drowning. You cum so much. What's interesting is seeing their reaction, that it's still happening. That we're still

going. The show has not ended. We're starting to sit up. Nope. Where are you going? It's like that from Spider-Man. He's like, I got you for three rounds. It's still going. It's going is ready it's always ready

yeah but no it's just just absolutely just blasting blasting you'll surprise you know what we should put together a pk this could be a pk product i I bet that Derek would know how to make this happen and just have a stack. Right? Like you ordered one thing and it comes with like one pill, the size of a golf ball. One pill. No, no. One suppository. One suppository.

The size of a golf ball. No, we were going to have some sympathy. Does it come with a quadruple amputee hooker to only for patrons? That's a month. We got to talk to him.

We got to talk to him about making a P.K. load stack and I'll come up with a good name for this. This is genuinely idea. And if we do it, I'm never buying these for it. This is a genuinely good idea. And if we do it, I'm never buying these supplements again. I'm just doing the PKA load stack. The first story I

told when I came on this show, I think, was about double vageting a girl in Las Vegas. And right now, I'm thoroughly convinced you guys are sickos. You wouldn't take our stack if we sent you some free ones. Oh, and you know what else we need? You know, he'd take it.

He'd take it. It can't just be zinc, pygeum, pygeum, whatever. It's got to have some sort of proprietary blend pill in addition to it. And we need to come up with that. That needs to be a little off the record. So nothing we say here is official, but any ideas, stuff it could be? We could, like, throw caffeine pills in the mix or a little caffeine or something no um um nitric oxide and um oh what's that stuff like whippets fucking what nitrous oxide okay not nitrous oxide nitric oxide oh i

didn't know the difference yeah you get your load stack and a can of Whippets. We just keep modifying the idea until Danny's on board. You guys have piqued my interest. I'm going to be honest with both of you. But now I'm afraid if you guys send me out a complimentary PKA load stack, what if I love it? And what if I just have to take like six horse pills every day for the rest of my life? Dude, this idea is bigger than Onnit. O- glycerol you could throw some glycerol in that's uh that's

good stuff too yeah i don't know what that does but we'll need to i'll tell you later a load expert to make sure that we're really really doing well well but kyle we need someone with like a doctor in front of their name i I actually know that guy. Perfect. Perfect. And we can get a little signature from him. Actually, not even from him and I'll have our signatures on it as if it means anything.

No, no, no. We'll all three put on lab coats and stand where their arms cross next to each other. That'll just be on the package. This is genius. And we're all pantsless with blurs out of this standing through a wet floor sign and come all we definitely need limited liability collaboration just if you watch your step slippery it's just all around us you can get like a personal read now that's a terrible offer i was going to say a partial

rebate for sending in photos of your partner covered in cum. Actually, it's a good idea. No. And then we can put those on the website as evidence. Be absent before. Testimonials. We have a testimonial section for people before and after. Dude, I can help with this. I will.

I'm going to message Derek in the morning. I'm going to get a discount with just jackie and some elmer's glue oh god they make a they make a lube cut that i think it's just called cum or jizz or like wad or something like that and it's just it looks like cum it's what like porn stars use to like make those fucking like gross pictures of themselves on the internet covered in cum like you can always tell it's like is that Elmer's glue or jizz? Good Lord. And there's like eight ounces of it. Yeah, they just opened up a bottle

of something. This guy must be thirsty. Yeah. That guy needs to hydrate. It's like there's a lump in that load. That's the other thing. I drink a gallon of water a day, so I think that that's helping to hyperhydrate me, helping to make things all the more better uh with my with my watt with my

wad load this idea has legs i genuinely think we could we could clean up the load stack the load stack we get a load stack maybe a whole brand of PKA pharmaceuticals. This idea could branch out. There's no way we could get in trouble legally for this. Joe Rogan does it. As long as you throw in the back this product's not intended to diagnose, treat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're fine.

Bingo. This product has not been tested by the FDA. Dude, this is going to go wild. This is a great idea. this is a great idea i know people in the packaging industry that we could get like some some good wraps some good shrink on there or bottle printing let's get some good shrink on there we got an industry logo or industry lingo going on yeah yeah get some oh this is gonna be good i mean derrick already does this right you, he's got all those gorilla products, but not for loads. And I don't want us to lose sight of the goal of this company.

It's only about loads. It's only about loads. I don't want us getting off into the weeds. No pre-workout. No pre-workout opportunity. No fucking protein. Maybe a protein powder. I'd be okay with that.

Does it increase my firmness? The fuck kind of company do you think this is you let me write like our mission statement first of all fuck you and we have a lot of strong held political beliefs here i'm really happy with how this show's going so far sense of pride and accomplishment when danny us sickos. Like, I really thought that we were tame in comparison. And now we're peers. I haven't drank my piss in a week at least.

I'm actually thinking about peeing right now. And I was brought back to that stunt in my head for a second. Yeah, you can go to the bathroom if you want. That's boring. But no, sickos is a term of endearment with me, guys. I love it that you have this weird foible that involves four bottles of supplements and a routine and jizz i think it's cute i think it's really cute it's a normal way to live and people are gonna people are gonna think this is a good idea probably i think this is a good idea i'm messaging him right now i'm not being ironic

this is a really good idea and i know. I already buy protein powder. Let's make our own fucking protein powder that's even better than that. And then boom. All right. Let me know how this message sounds. Hey, me and the guys from the show were just talking about putting together a supplement that would make cum loads bigger. that would make cum loads bigger.

We have a few ingredients in mind. Do you think that's something that we could put together and market on my show? No, not market. I think I'd use the word partnership. He's essential in this thing. Yeah. Oh, you think so? Okay.

Don't say partnership yet. I don't know. I'll figure it out. I don't know how it works exactly. I'll word it. Cumload's bigger. We have a few ingredients in mind. Do you think that's something?

Then send a gif of a screenshot so he knows what we're talking about. I'm attaching a couple of images. Use the one I sent you. I am. I am. God damn. She's pretty. Looks like I spilled milk in my kitchen. Nothing. Looks like you spilled a whole

quart of cream. What the fuck? Oh, who threw Greek yogurt all over the walls? Have a few ingredients in mind um i'm trying to think what to ask um do you know i am i mean the thing to ask you know anything about putting a product like that together question mark let me just proofread and then repeat hey me and the guys from the show we're just putting we're just talking about putting together a supplement that would make cum loads bigger

we have a few ingredients in mind do you know anything about putting a product like that together I'm going to add haha so he doesn't think I'm a fucking psychopath let him know this is serious. All right, no ha-ha. It's sent.

All right, we'll see. It's silly about that. That's a good idea. It's genuinely good. And the way that it would work, it would be some sort of subscription service. It would come in like- Well, it's just a little embarrassing. Normally, me and Derek's conversations don't involve jizz.

That's all. Just send me his number. I don't give a fuck. Just like, hey, we never talked except for the time on the show. I want to talk to you about loads. It's like, why are you sexting me? Why didn't you lead with that? No, this is a good idea. It'd be like a subscription

box or something like that. Come in a nice, nice looking package. You're muted, Woody. Unfortunately, you were muted so we didn't get the full gongong but we got the reverberation which was actually better i think all right i i sent derek the message um we'll see if he gets back to us uh if he replies during the show i'll give you guys the update and so something we're going to need or you can use on our future site is the service of honey to save money. When you're ordering our load supplements online,

we all shop online a lot and we've all seen that promo code field that taunts us at checkout. But thanks to honey manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is the free browser extension that finds promo codes for you and automatically applies them to your cart. Imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. Maybe it's load kings.biz.

Please notice site where honey load kings.biz. Yeah. a site where Honey, loadkings.biz, yeah. And when you check out, the Honey button drops down, and all you have to do is click Apply Coupons. Wait a few seconds as Honey scans its database of all the working coupons for that site and watch the prices drop. Honey has found it's over 17 million members, over $2 billion in savings. Honey supports over 30,000 stores online, including Walmart, DoorDash, and Lululemon. If you don't already have Honey,

you could be straight up missing out on free money. It's literally free and installs in just a couple seconds. And by getting it, you're doing us a solid and making the podcast look good. You're supporting us. Thank you. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash pka. That is joinhoney.com slash pka. Save yourself a bunch of money online.

Speaking of online, you want to be safe while you're online. This episode of PKA, save yourself a bunch of money online. Speaking of online, you want to be safe while you're online. This episode of PKA is also brought to you by ExpressVPN. Admit it, you think that cybercrime is something that happens to other people. You may think that nobody wants your data or that hackers can't grab your passwords or credit card details. But you'd be wrong. Stealing data from unsuspecting people on public Wi-Fi is one of the simplest and cheapest ways for hackers to make money. When you leave your internet connection unencrypted, you might as well be writing your passwords and credit card numbers on a huge billboard

for the rest of the world to see. That's why we decided to take action. So we're recommending you get ExpressVPN to protect yourself from cyber criminals. ExpressVPN secures and anonymizes your internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public IP address. ExpressVPN has easy-to-use apps that run seamlessly in the background of your computer, phone, and tablet.

Turning on ExpressVPN protection takes one click. Using ExpressVPN, I can safely surf on public Wi-Fi without being snooped on or having my personal data stolen. For less than $7 a month, you can get the same ExpressVPN protection that I have. ExpressVPN is rated the number one VPN service by TechRadar and comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Protect your online activity today and find out how you can get three months for free at expressvpn.com.

That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com. For three months free with a one-year package. Visit expressvpn.com. To learn more, makes us and the show look good. So go over to ExpressVPN. Click on the links, boys. Click on the link. Give them a go.

Check them out. And be sure to also leave comments and tweet us about good ideas for names for the load company and other proprietary blends and stacks that you guys have tried. I cannot take your recommendation seriously without uh photos included photos i'll take the verbal descriptions and we'll quite frankly we're gonna need you to prove that it's yours by jerking off on the monthly hangout write your write your social on your erect penis we need to see the ejaculate leave your cock. Yeah. So this is a good idea. This is a good idea.

I'm like in like thinking mode now. Like I really like this idea. It's fun. It's fun thinking about people. I know you were like strictly, but I'm like, no, no, no. What if there is some sort of like, like Joe Rogan has these like brain wake me up type things, you know, energizer. Hell, you can do a caffeine pill. Alpha brain. Alpha brain, energizer. Hell, you can do a caffeine pill. Alpha brain. Alpha brain,

thank you. The infomercial could be a lot of fun because one metric has got to be volume. Another one's got to be velocity. We need a before and after radar gun analysis. I love this. That's perfect.

That's great. This is genius. I can get Inland Iggy. I can get the guy who was in the porn of me. He can fucking be our first customer. Yeah, but we're going to want to pump the numbers a little bit. We're going to want him. The first shot we want to be his third load of the day.

And then the follow-up shot after he's been on the pills for a week. Of course. How long does it take for it to work? Can you just take the pills today and hope that tomorrow's load is good like like see alice for example 30 minutes later you're a new man right what do you have to this isn't like i'd say like a few days okay you get a week of taking it straight oh yeah you're you're noticing stuff you're noticing like you know you're coming and it's like this is hilarious like this is a lot of cum that's hilarious but uh yeah this is this is a good

idea she's funny on this the black guy who was in uh the porn that we shot the black dude with the massive cock when he actually shoots his regular porns that aren't for our youtube channel he edges which which I guess means he has sex with his girlfriend right to the brink of climax, pulls out goes and makes a sandwich, goes about his day for the next couple of hours, then they come back and they shoot the real scene

and I guess almost achieving climax but then withdrawing like loads up your magazines, you got a banana clip of cum ready to go that is true that's another tactic for the ad for the infomercial when we before and after motherfuckers kyle you're muted is it a great taylor that kyle's muted yeah it was a good thing i did meet myself because like on the way out of the room i tripped over

a fucking end table hit the fucking screamed, and the table hitting the floor sounded like a gunshot. It would have been great if we had that. It was just, ah, pow! Yeah, the edging will also add volume, but not like the RSK Load Max. Nothing will increase your load like rsk load max max load are we supposed to convince people that this like common enhancing formula stands for real sweet kids it seems like a bad combo so that is a bad combo if i've ever heard one yeah yeah maybe think we will work on the branding i can see the ad already in a porno magazine it's a really pissed off looking blonde girl

with jizz dripping down her face swatting at a camera phone like the guy came on her face and took a picture of it right away yeah i. I think that, I think that, um, uh, like customer tutorial, uh, customer, um, what's the word I'm looking for?

Testimonials will be key to our, uh, our marketing strategy. The subreddit is going to love this. Get some, get some, uh, yeah,

absolutely. It's, it, it actually, I mean, these four products work and there's a couple more things that I have added recently that I'm waiting on them to build up in my system. All for load size?

This is for load size too? Yeah. You got like six different drugs? Yeah, only six. Yeah, we don't want to be ridiculous. Yeah. I mean, what? You got time to take six to 27 pills a day like

what dude my curse is actually that i have a gigantic nut sack and it's all for my right nut my right nut is more than double the size of my left nut really and yeah and i looked it up and i guess jizz comes from your prostate and your vas deferference and all this shit that's like up in your system. So my nuts size there, that's what pyogen is for. This is prostate health, yes. So it shouldn't even be relevant because all your nuts do is just make the little swimmers. That doesn't really or shouldn't have anything to do with load size. Not at all.

I do shoot fat lows to the point where chicks comment on it, but it's not worth it because having a big old nut set, it's like it sucks away an inch and a half off my length measurement of my dick. You could have a reduction surgery. I've actually fantasized about getting my big right nut cut out and replaced with a glass marble. You can do that, but you wouldn't go with glass. You'd get one of those Lancestrong fakies that they put in there that's the correct consistency what do you think his is made out of it's some sort of silicone or something or silicone works i worked yeah i fantasized about

having regular nuts i had a co-worker when i worked at old salt on the boardwalk in ocean city new jersey he had ripped his testicle as a child climbing over a chain link fence. And they called him Ping Pong Balls. What fucking assholes? He was cool with it, it seemed. No, he wasn't. We're all cool with it.

Then we go home and we fucking cry. Jesus, fuck. He's at home. Ping the coming Ping Pong Balls. He lost one. Both nuts fucking cry. Jesus, fuck. He's at home. Ping pong balls. He lost one. Both nuts went away. No, one. He just won.

That's not a big deal. Why did he even tell anybody? And why were they calling him ping pong balls, plural? I hear you. I hear you. Look, it wasn't the brain trust that came up with this name, but that's what they call it. Yikes. Shithead Jersey kids came up with it. but that's what they yikes shithead jersey kids came

yeah dude it sucks because when my nuts when it's cold in the sack is drawn up that's when it sucks away the most length off my shaft and that's when it really upsets me but when it's limp and it's hanging loose on a hot day in a sauna it's the most obvious that one of my nuts is grossly oversized i don't understand your penis is smaller because of your testicle your scrotum size yeah absolutely and not just relatively based on the appearance when my nuts get sucked up into my body which usually happens when you're having sex it um the skin and the ball absolutely is sucking up in like an inch off my penis where when my sack is dropped my dick looks way longer is way longer yeah it sucks i don't have room to spare i i don't i swear baby my penis is much longer when i'm not having sex that's where we are at this or when i'm

in a hot tub no okay yeah it's tough i'm sorry to make you uncomfortable with this but no i'm trying to picture it i'm not uncomfortable i was uncomfortable with the chain-linked ball ripping story i don't like that i'm on healthline.com to kind of diagnosis it might be a tumor it could be a tumor an epidemic i got it ultrasounded did you oh that's good and you're fine it's fine yeah a male they said i was positive so no worries uh healthline.com says it's normal for the right one to be bigger it's much bigger in my case though the doctor was shocked uh i'm jealous of you yeah i might the listeners of the show have heard it many times and kyle loves the story but i had a testicular

torsion when i was like 15 years old which is in uh i guess the details of this might be wrong but i'm i'm 90 right i think my vas deferens was longer than most people which allowed my testicle to like rotate in the scrotum. And imagine doing that with a garden hose. It gets kinked up and lost its blood supply. Emergency surgery. But we're cool. Got two kids.

How did you know? Oh, yeah, it hurt a lot. And I was in 10th grade and maybe growing a lot. My genes were small for me so I thought it might just be tight jeans and I'm like working it working it and uh it was in biology class female biology teacher and she was really one of those teachers that was always strict about like going to the bathroom or like getting the nurses but guidance counselor pass or whatever like she was she didn't hand him out to anybody and um i'm in

class and i'm in pain and i know that she's a stickler about leaving the classroom and uh the pain is awful and i go up there and i'm like i need to go to the nurse's office right and i just left it at that i didn't tell her my testicle hurt in front of the classroom or anything and she turns me around and says class look do you see how he's sweating and how he's pale white he clearly is needs to go to the nurses this is what you should look like if you have to go and it's like bitch like i'm having testicle problems here you're making a show out of proper nurse office like i don't know escalation procedures i went there uh the nurse was a female and she didn't want to examine me okay whatever so they brought in the gym teacher

and uh he felt me up almost almost always the school pedophile it worked for me and he and one of them was um you know how if you hold a testicle they're a little mushy right uh sure he's like i don't know what's happening here one of those is hard and this isn't right and um this is one thing they did really cool they timed the ambulance arrival such that like everyone would be in class they did it on the down low and they brought an ambulance to the school they like um in such a way that there was no show nobody knew it was me getting taken away in the ambulance and uh and then we went and i was in a lot of pain so i was like moaning like like like just expressing how awful this felt. And, uh, there, there was, if anyone knows Ocean City, nine street bridge, we took, it's like 50 miles an hour, two lanes each way. And, uh,

the guy in the back with me is like, bro, this seems to be a problem. Can you step on it? And he's like, we're going 85 right now. You you know like we were hauling it the sirens going and the lights on and everything and uh yeah if you're in pain like that you get first priority at the hospital like everyone else moved aside they uh did it's called nuclear nuclear it's like fuck up nuclear medicine halfway there and uh they basically like injected something in my iv and saw where the blood went to and uh i wasn't getting proper blood flow in that testicle so i mean probably from the moment i rolled through the doors to the moment they made the first incision was 40 minutes maybe less like they were in a they were hurry hurrying and, uh, I'm imagining them unwinding it. Like you unwind a tether ball from the rope.

Yeah, that's about right. Yeah. I remember the doctor was like, dude, it's good to be young. I'm 15 at this point. And,

uh, he's like, I twirled it. And he's like, even as we're unwinding and it was just pinkening up in my hand. And, uh, um,

I still have like a stitch or two in they did the other one too because they're like it's a candidate for this problem and i still have a stitch or two in my testicle that i can feel so that they never twist again a stitch that's lasted that long yeah they're meant to be lifetime stitches i guess i'm good shit man yeah yeah i think with my giant nut i can't have a torsion because it's too big to rotate this is like a superpower too much of the sack right it's nice and actually when it first happened because i remember when i hit puberty is what obviously what had happened i got really sick it's a gigantic right testicle it's huge and one day just ballooned up while i had the flu and i went

to school and i think that weekend that very weekend this girl named kathleen thompson was in the room with me at a party and i whipped out my right nut on her and to me having a giant right nut at that time was sick because i thought she would think i had a huge penis too so it became a party trick it was something of a superpower wait how big is this nut like i'm thinking a golf bigger than a golf ball bit smaller than it i was weirdly shaped i'm trying to use tomato but they come in so many sizes it's it's if you took a mallet to a racquetball a couple times that's what it would look like it would look exactly like it did before I hit it with the mallet, wouldn't it? No, no, no.

It would be squashed. So it's a squashed racquetball. It's a squashed racquetball. Okay, so it is a little bit of a weird shaped ball. It's oblong. Isn't that what testicles are supposed to be? I don't know. Is it like a grade A egg? Grade C. Damn it. A is the only grade of egg't know. Is it like a grade A egg? Grade C.

Damn it. A is the only grade of egg I know. Who are these bitches not taking the cream of the crop of eggs? I'm sorry, honey. We've got to take C class. There's no joke. I can't afford the grade A eggs this month. Look at the fucking Rockefellers over there with their grade A large eggs.

Eating quail eggs out of them. Have you ever bought those eggs that are double yolk? I've gotten them on accident before, but I've never... No, no, no. You can buy eggs that were like every single egg is double yolk. That would make the egg a lot better. Better, you say?

Better? Oh, yeah. The yolk is what makes mean that makes it good that's the part that tastes good yeah the egg white is just kind of fucking there oh no i uh i i think the white to normal yolk ratio is the ideal that's the answer key and everything from that is a deviation towards wrong now it's against god's will i agree with you there yeah we're playing god with these double yolk eggs and we don't know what's gonna happen next i saw it on reddit he was like i thought i'd won the fucking lottery i cracked three in a row and they were double yolk and until i checked the carton and realized that i had bought double double yolk eggs well now i just feel done for

making this video i'm making right now. How many yolks can you get? Are there triple yolk eggs? Let's see. Come on. It's got to be a thing, right? Come on. I thought you were saying like, come on, science has limits. What are you talking about?

How rare is a triple yolk egg? One in 25 million, according to the British Egg Information Service. Dude, that sounds like something I would make up. I like to think you could buy triple yolk eggs. I say so. That's a tremendous egg. But they're $2,500 an egg. I'd like to eat an ostrich egg.

You ever see someone make an omelet out of one of those? Online. Yeah, it takes up the entire fucking cast iron pan. Yeah. I feel like if you were cooking breakfast for a a bunch of people like that'd be a that'd be pretty cool you took a shot of uh the yolk danny what it tastes like just like egg chicken eggs three people did it two people vomited i think and i didn't vomit something like that we went to an ostrich farm there's one near santa barb Barbara, California. We went there to fuck with people thinking we were going to get kicked out instantly,

but the staff loved us. Not only did they feed us ostrich eggs or let us take shots of them for a stunt, they took us into the back of a Tacoma pickup truck and just drove us out into the middle of the ostriches and let us hop out and roam around freely. And one of the trainers rode one around. That's pretty cool. That's sick. It's in a video I have called Yelling Rape in Target. It's a good video.

Yelling Rape in Target. Yeah, I sure feel it's a lot of subject matter in these videos. I'm not positive I've ever seen an ostrich. I think, I know I've definitely seen emu. Yeah, ostriches are much more dangerous. Yeah, they have huge tongue-shaped penises too we saw them having sex mating season personal experience i appreciate that they're pre-lubed are they actually no i made that up as if they fucked me that's not true uh patreon question i can't possibly sorry i just can't get off this cock off my mind right now yeah it's we've all been there uh kyle taylor

woody danny any advice on a beginner home gym starting to work out i worked out at our college gym a handful of time with friends but with the current covid situation and then i've graduated college i'd like to start working out on my own i was thinking maybe two adjustable adjustable dumbbells is having an exercise bench necessary what's the minimum for a home starter i know i bet i know kyle's answer. Join a gym. So if you're trying to do this at home, let me just see. He's saying two adjustable dumbbells. So you want an exercise bench that adjusts at least into the incline position.

You don't 100% need the decline one. But if you can, that'll be a little pricier. If you're looking bare bones bones get an incline bench and uh i guess adjustable dumbbells i i ended up buying the or pulling the trigger on adjustable dumbbells but i just got the kind that have the two inch olympic stuff because i have so many olympic plates i was like you know i can do whatever i need here and so get some of those or if you can find cheaper ones sometimes on like craigslist you can get real fucking cheap ones of those like spin on one inch plates that people have like the

not standard size but yeah as far as equipment you get the dumbbells there the incline bench uh then a dip bar and a pull-up bar and you can get a lot done with that so that's like bare bones you can yeah but but again we're talking about um two thousand dollars worth of gear just there like like that's two thousand dollars worth of stuff he's talking about or you could just go to the fucking gym for no it's not two thousand you can how is it not incline bench you get yourself i don't know you know a couple hundred bucks if you want to go cheap let's150, you can get a cheap one. Okay. Just for the bench, but then the barbell and the weights.

No, no, no. He's getting dumbbells. So he's not getting like a full power rack. I would say just to get that and just have, because he's going to be beginning, so he's going to start off lighter, so he won't need a ton of plates. And so just get adjustable dumbbells, the incline bench, and then a place to do dips place to do pull-ups that's way like the pull-up the pull-up bar is 175 the those dumbbells i don't know what you

paid but like if he gets good ones they're 850 did this guy say he's in in an apartment if you're in an apartment just get one of those bullshit damages your door pull-up bars the only reason i don't use that is because i have a house and i don't want to ruin it but like yeah if you're in an apartment who fucking cares i i totally messed up the door in my apartment from from abusing that in my last place in the place before so that's not very expensive you don't need the full like tower behind woody uh and then bar, I got one for $35 called like black mountain dip bar off Amazon three years ago. And it was like 30,

yeah, 35 bucks, 40 bucks. And it still works fine. Like it's just a fucking dip bar freestanding. The most expensive part is going to be the weights for the dumbbells and actually finding a place that can ship you the dumbbells before two months because the ones i got on amazon it's i ordered these adjustable dumbbells of amazon a

month ago and it won't arrive until december 5th and so that will have been fucking forever so yeah that's all you need kyle do you disagree or would you yeah you gotta just go to the gym man go to the gym and you have access to 100100,000 worth of equipment, right? It's like art. You can either scram and save and cut corners and have substandard gear at your house, or you could drive five, ten minutes away and have access to $100,000 worth of gear that you never have to clean or take care of and you're not responsible for for like 10 or 20 dollars a month that's true the answer i let me jump in i if you're renting i really like kyle's idea right you know you're gonna be before too long moving this shit around and you're choosing

between absolute garbage gear and a million dollars worth of exercise equipment at the gym like just go if you're renting go to the gym if you own a house then i don't like this like door style pull-up rack bullshit like just buy a squat rack or something and you'll buy it nice or buy it twice but uh that's my take on it if you're going to move a lot weightlifting equipment is not something you should own go to the gym if you're not going to move a lot don't buy bullshit crap that's just rickety that you don't want a year from now but also keep in mind this guy's just starting like what is he gonna need he's gonna need what 40 pounds at most per dumbbell on there like just starting out yeah that's true but then the other thing is like i mean what if he decides in two months he doesn't like this he doesn't want to

do it what if he hurts himself or he just hates it you know i'm telling you the 20 investment at the gym is the way if motivation is a difficult thing for you to overcome then buying the equipment is going to keep you more on task than a gym that you have to drive out to different people are different that way right there's some people who make a gym buddy who feel like accountable to that person like Like, yeah, I see Larry every time I'm there. If Larry knows I didn't show up on Wednesday night, then Larry knows I was lazy, right? Or there are other people, maybe more like me, who are like, oh, I so like having it right there. You know, sometimes it's like, I'm about to hop in the shower. You know what?

Spend 40 minutes in the gym and then hop in the shower and it would be a different scenario if i had to drive to it i like doing it at my own pace too like sometimes i'll be like right in the middle of working out and i'll have to take a last second phone call and it's like oh well i'm glad i don't have to like deload this bar and then you know walk away into a parking lot for a while or whatever like it's just nice if it's for different folks but yeah i i kind of don't like the direction we headed with some of this stuff, like a $40. Adjustable dumbbells, I would hate. My favorite part about my dumbbells is the right size is always sitting there in a shelf.

So I think, Woody, you might be thinking of the kind that you like unplug. Are you thinking of the kind that you like slide out and reset? Those really expensive like power blocks or the Bowflex ones? Something like that, yeah. So the ones i'm talking about it's just a handle and then you slide the plates on just like a barbell and then you add the cap thing on it and so if it's the one inch ones you spin them on if it's the two inch ones you slide it on just like a barbell and so it's you're still changing the dumbbell for every size

as opposed to the right one sitting on the shelf. That's true. That's the part about it that I don't like. And there's some movements you can't do with those because just the way they're shaped. They're huge. Let me settle this. Whatever you're doing, kid, to work out, make sure you're taking the PKA jizz stack as pre-workout. Do we agree on that?

If you're not blowing fat loads, what's the fucking point, pussy? Dude, when you're cranking out a new PR squat, you want to be just absolutely leaking pre-comp. That's the pygeum kicking in. That's the pygeum kicking in.

Yeah, that's what it's supposed to do. Right? No, we can't give away trade secrets. We'll go over Kegel exercises in a more in-depth video later on. We're just, we totally rip off Joe Rogan's website style, but it's only about loads. It's only about colors.

You need to be the star of your own movie. Live your life like it was a movie. A porno movie. Live your life. Come like you've always wanted. Surprise your friends. And loved ones. Shock your family.

It's a great holiday gift for your dad. It's good for kids of all ages. Even women. Yes. Fuck it. I won't hurt them. Probably. Zinc's good for you. Yeah probably zinc's good for you

what if it makes them wetter maybe they'll get wetter or maybe they'll fucking not be able to control their bowel movements we don't know what it'll do but try it I'm sorry I just said it's back like five minutes I'm bringing up the jizz stack again they're creamy

yeah but yeah I would just say go to the gym because it's like five minutes. Bring it up a jizz stack again. They're creamy. I would just say go to the gym because it's like like I said, the gym literally has $100,000 worth of gear in it. It's just like he said in the message, I want to do it at home. Yeah, but he's wrong. The answer is you're wrong. Does this guy live in a

state where he can go to a gym? That's a good question. Now you may need to learn to pick locks, but, but you know, you could go to, you could go to the gym late at night when nobody's there and it could be just you.

And you could pretend like all this shit is yours and, uh, and, and use it however you want. You don't got to re-rack the weights. Nobody's going to know. Nobody's going to know. You don't even have to flush the toilet you don't have to lift the seat

all over the seat big boys do what they want sir we know it's you it's like like, no, it's the old one there. Just shitting. Every morning there's an upper decker. I don't know if there's anything else in life that's like that where you could either – I mean the thing like you were talking about trucks last week, Woody, where it's like I'm glad I bought a truck because before I did that, I had to go rent a truck from Home Depot and that was just nonsense. Every time I wanted to carry some particle board I had to borrow their beater

truck that's the only thing that I can think that's even similar to the fact that you could either spend like to have a decent home gym I think you're spending $4,000 I think like and to have like a great home gym I think you're spending $15,000 or you could just go to the fucking gym. It's the cable crossover machine. That's hard to match. It's the cable crossover.

And that's, I wish I had that. Oh, and we didn't count that. So if you have a squat rack, which you probably want, you'd have to have a pretty big room to also have a cable crossover machine. Yeah. Now, now you've got like a you know my game of thrones room size gym at the house and that's just for you'd have to be

pretty wealthy to have that kind of spare gym yeah you need like what taylor has going on with that huge full um full and uh unfinished basement down there like he's got room in that one corner to have a shooting range if he wants a long like corridor yeah like some people dedicate stuff set up the two gardeners oh man you should set up a fucking like like uh uh goal down there there's a goal down there i sent you a picture i didn't notice it holy shit and then another corner i got the goalie stuff for street hockey all the pucks yeah it's a fun all like in the middle of working out go over there and shoot pucks i like i taped up a couple of two and a half pound plates as like targets on there because that was like i thought it would go like ding ding it doesn't though all that happens is you take a shot and if you hit the tape it

cuts it in half and then the weight falls and clangs off it was a short-lived game you need a gong yeah i didn't need a call dude a couple gongs like at 15 bucks a pop those little gongs that's a good idea gong prices rise exponentially you can buy a 13 inch gong for like 15 dollars and then that thing is like 500 that's a quality gong though yeah paying for itself a little at a time not yet but someday no not at all, actually. It should be, though. People are donating five cents. I want to hear the gong.

Get out of here, peasant. You're not going to hear anything. I'm gone for you. The gong's showing free. No Chinese air popper for you. Bust one of those off. Dude, my desk is so messy. Yes, it won't even matter.

It won't even matter. Come on, Taylor. Come on, Taylor. Write to the camera and give us a big chink load right in the camera. Big chink load. Come on, aim it at the camera, right in my face. I want you to see the showering down. I want it right pointed at me. I don't want to see like a waste it.

Oh, yeah, there you go. Can I wipe it off now? No. We're still taking pictures. You leave it on until you can peel it off. These paper ones are fine but the little doesn't remove black heads on you took it off to her these little ones they should longer stringier streamers and they broke my vacuum when i came in here to to vacuum it up immediately i realized like i

should use the attachment because I went over five stripes of it after a stream a week ago where I probably popped 20 of these and a couple of these big ones. And yeah, vacuum's totally... It's just broken. What do you have, though? Do you have those to shoot them off in your room?

I just thought it would be fun when people, if they donate a sub or if they give some money i just like ah and so i did that and but i also i really overestimated how much i wanted to do it because i've got two full boxes i've got i've got 85 of these but i've only got two of the big lads left it's amusing to me that it's a tax deductible business expense for you i wish twitch weren't so strict on the gun stuff because it'd be cool if you had like a revolver in each hand and uh like blanks and then like blank ammunition and you could go full yosemite

sam when you got a big donation do they have something like gun shop what's that what where would you buy blanks? You could just buy them from the gun store. I'm sure you can order them off the internet. Okay. I didn't know they had... I think they make them for starting pistols. And I know they make blanks for nail guns and stuff, too. Are you sure you can't shoot blanks on Twitch?

I'm pretty sure. I think that they would think that... Just the way it looks like you're discharging a firearm negligently inside of a home. Dude, you are obsessed with the size of ejaculations, firework, penis, or otherwise. What is that? This one, this is how it got wrapped around my vacuum and destroyed.

It's because all of them are like two feet long. So that stinks. So now I need a new vacuum. But you're going to dice themon i you know we get this question all the time this is another patreon question but i'm not sure we've asked it of danny what's the largest animal you think you could kill in a ufc cage match a man no weapons just you and your board shorts pick your animal coyote i think i could kill a horse i think i can get around its initial rear up in the hooves coming down arm drag it get behind it somehow

apply a rear naked choke i could turn out the lights on can you put your arms a clydesdale yeah you heard it here. That's absurd. That's a lot. I do like that you picked a large herbivore, though. I like the way you're thinking. I got $10,000 on the horse. I'll bet my entire stake in loadkings.com that the horse beats your ass. What would a horse do to you, though? All it can do is rear up, and it'll get tired eventually.

Horses have been fighting off lions since time immemorial. Kyle, you act like horses have a winning record against lions. They do have a winning record against lions. And I thought horses were native to Europe and lions out of the UFC cage. Are you sure they haven't encountered each other? Sabre-toothed tigers. This has been happening for a long time. Kyle, if you put a saber-toothed tiger

and peanut butter in a UFC cage, peanut butter being the name of the horse, then the buttercup that works in the cage, the horse loses any advantage it might have had. It's going to lose. It's going to stomp you and kick you to death. As soon as that horse realizes it's in a fight, you're dead. Danny, I'm thinking you should switch over to a cow.

Here's the thing about horses. Horses do the most damage to human life when negligent stable boys get behind the horse. They're powerful on the backswing. They're not powerful on the rear up and stomp. When they fall off the horse and land on a rock, that's a problem, but that's not part of your strategy. I'm telling you guys right

now, I would bulldoze a horse into the ground and choke it unconscious. I don't think it'd be an issue even. Can you even get your arm around Clydesdale's entire neck to choke it? Look at my arms, dude. My guys have long arms. Does those long arms make guillotines easier or harder?

Long arms? Yeah. Guillotines? The best guillotiners I know are all short-arm guys. Chad Mendes, Uriah Faber, Joseph Benavidez. Speaking of midgets earlier, they're all borderline in that category. I've got a timestamped video right here

of a miniature horse beating the shit out of a man. They always do this. They find some guy who doesn't have Danny's level of horse fighting skill. Would he mute the video? You don't need the audio. It's just some bitch explaining what's happening, but there's a little bit of light background music

that might be owned by someone. Let me know when I can watch this, dude. I'm paused. Can I just close it? We'll watch it together. You time-stamped it, so let me know you're ready.

I'm ready to go. Ready, set, play. Slow-mo. The guy's falling off the horse. Oh, my God. He's terrible at fighting. He's being bitten by a horse. Oh, that...

Wait, this is CGI. They're showing you the teeth of a fucking horse. They're showing you the weaponry. That's terrible. And the horse isn't going to get me with those back teeth. I mean, if it has you with the back teeth, the is done freaking out she said once the pony realizes that he's in a dominant position look at that look at his back skin getting pinched see if Federico weren't there

it'd be GG that is a minor injury the horse attacked him on the ground and we all think it was funny look at that bite and that's from a little one and you said how big is a miniature

so he was riding the miniature horse I think it didn't want to be ridden Right. And that's from a little one. And you said, okay, how big is a miniature? A Clydesdale is what he said. So he was riding the miniature horse. I think it didn't want to be ridden. He fell off the side, and then the horse bit it in the back. See, this is what they do to me, Danny. I'm aware of this debate technique. I say, I can beat up a deer. And then they show some picture of a guy who doesn't even want to be in a deer fight, really, losing. No, no, no, no. You need to train, right? You need to come in. You have your anti-deer strategy. And then you attack the deer.

Deers are herbivores. They're not meant for attack. Okay, but hold on. Let's say that miniature horse is the biggest miniature horse ever at 350 pounds. That's the biggest miniature horse size, 350. Ever. Give me a guess on the size. Like a nice big male Clydesdale

what do you think Clydesdale oh boy 1500 pounds 2200 pounds Woody did you ever compete jujitsu yeah how much does a Honda Accord weigh the easiest division when you're competing jujitsu is when you're an absolute and you're taking on the super heavyweight guys why because they get tired the fastest i just dance around the horses animals known for their low endurance this thing is closer to a family they're carrying way too much muscle those clydesdales it's they gotta spend their energy somehow it's gonna go quick if i can bring in a handful of carrots into the ring it's gonna go even better for me but i'll grab that thing you might as well put those carrots right up your ass because that's where the horse is gonna be in no time fucking flat and it's gonna fuck them deeper into my body it's gonna pull them out first oh i'm watching a horses defending themselves

from stupid people montage and it's just one horse after another KOing motherfuckers. Horses are big, stupid creatures. I could absolutely best one. Dude, this thing would destroy you. No. It's a Clydesdale. Dude, look up highlights of me doing BJJ on the internet. I was borderline unstoppable. Look up highlights of horses pulling fucking wagons.

You showed me a highlight of some... You ever seen Bonanza? Walking wagons. You showed me a highlight of some Indian, Russian farm cousin fucker getting bit and screaming by a horse that weighed five pounds. To illustrate my point, a Clydesdale

would just kill you. All you illustrated is that Eastern Europeans are inferior. All I could think the whole time was these people are ugly and stupid, and I would kick that stupid mini horse right in the face. Yeah, that guy looked poor. There is a whole industry of horse videos

about misleading thumbnails with perspective. Like, look up big horses, and some of these images are absurd. It's like standing next to a skyscraper or something, and it's half as big. Oh, yeah. Yeah, watch the old Anheuser-Busch commercials where those giant Clydesdales are trotting around.

Those things are fucking huge. It would stomp on you, even if accidentally. I just feel like a horse is... I could kill a baby elephant. I could kill a tiny horse that was like... I could kill that miniature horse. I, like that was like, I could kill that miniature horse.

I could kill that with my bare hands. I could kill not a full grown kangaroo that would kill me. Um, not like a Python, not one of those big ones. Not unless I could really get its head right at the start and start smashing it. If it ever got like wrapped around me,

I'm dead. How about a blind handless chimp well blind helps a lot i mean they're dangerous chimps if i fucking but he made his teeth away from me obviously i'm gonna win but but i feel like it's gonna bite the fucking shit out of me man those things have chompers it will everyone does that they do that so they've said i can't beat a bird right and then they say look this bird slightly wounded a person's forearm with its talons right and then the guy took it and he banged the bird like he was bam bam in the flintstones because birds have hollow bones and they and even

the big ones weigh 14 pounds good reference thank you it works for like one percent of our old audience yeah i i i get that reference uh yes so like birds are easy to beat they're just too small we're too big right anyone can beat a bird and the fact that like you'll walk away with a puncture wound in your palm doesn't mean the bird is going to beat you i'm genuinely upset you guys aren't with me on this one we're so not with you wo Woody's a little bit on your side. Yeah, yeah. Woody, Woody, stay with me. Horses are completely dominated by human beings. We use them to make our glue. They can't do shit unless a redneck pulls out some metal and some nails and makes them a shoe first.

Little girls at rodeos lead them around while wearing sequined dresses and cowboy hats. Hors horses are our bitch i'm a brazilian jiu-jitsu purple belt three stripe i feel like danny as a jits guy understands how powerful grip is in fighting right if you if i took danny and took took away his fingers and just gave him stumps or even hooves, he wouldn't be half the fighter he is now. If I gave you hooves... Or even a hoof. Did I say it wrong? Even if you were to provide him a hoof or two.

If you took away my... You pronounced it correctly. The premise is just so absurd. Because now I'm imagining Danny with hooves. If I had no hands, if I had the hooves, then I might lose to that bird I'm imagining Danny with hooves. If I had no hands, if I had the hooves, then I might lose to that bird. I'm talking about because grip is the beginning and end of my fighting

techniques. Yeah. If you had one instead of hands. Anyway, I'm still fired up. I would grab a Clydesdale by the main and smash its face into the letter f on the ufc canvas over and over until it was dead you tell this little bitch on reddit whoever this fucker was he was i don't care what tier he's in tell him danny mullen will

fuck up a horse anywhere anytime danny there are a lot of laws that protect animals from cruelty. However, I don't think anyone would have, would take issue with you doing full on combat against a Clydesdale horse with your bare hands. They'd be like, yeah, they'd be like,

Hey, there's a man who wants to, uh, he wants to fight a horse to the death. They'd be like, Oh my God, is this like that bullfighting? He's going to use spears and fucking trapping.

No, no, no. He wants to step into actually a UFC cage, which doesn't make any sense whatsoever because the horse could just jump right out. And he wants to fight it with his bare hands. Clydesdale, actually. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I'll watch. Yeah.

Like fucking PETA will line up in the front row so that you'll be made an example of. No, no, no. Mr. Hans was fucking horses for years. Finally, we have a smart guest who understands human supremacy and doesn't just bow over to every fucking eagle, deer, or apparently Clydesdale who thinks that they can take us. He knows. Eagle, deer, or 2200 pound animal the size of like a family sedan. Don't lump those in. And look, I just linked an article of a cassowary, a rare emu-like bird who killed someone in Florida.

Don't look up how old he was. Just take me. That he's dead. I think I could take an ostrich. Do ostriches attack with their feet very much? They do. I'm with the bowel. No, no. I'm with Woody. Woody could take one. Yeah do ostriches attack with their feet very much i do what no no i'm with woody what he could take one yeah i was in close proximity i will i want to see it so goddamn bad dude i don't want to see you die that's the only reason that i don't like like

okay here's the thing here's the thing i've seen men around ostriches like maybe mike rowe who's like oh my god i'm scared i'm whatever like this is a big frightening problem and he loses and then there are other guys who were like no you just do this crap grabs the neck controls the bird right like kyle if you were to grab my head the body goes where the body follows where the head goes like that's a really that's a real thing you do that to an ostrich the same thing is true and and a an adult-sized male can control an ostrich's head, and then he has almost nothing to work with. I think its head is really high and really far back. I don't think it can reach the head.

And it's leading with those velociraptor claws. Well, we need to do this. First of all, whenever we talk about doing animal combat, we're not talking about going into a petting zoo and attacking somebody's fucking pet. We're talking about a jacked-up ostrich who wants blood. Oh, I didn't know what you were talking about. Okay.

We're not talking about ambushing fucking deer while they sleep in the wild. We're talking about a deer that wants blood. A deer whose bread and butter is fighting men. See, this ostrich doesn't even want to fight. We've watched this one before. He's not racing. Yeah, that's a pussy ostrich. That's a female ostrich.

As the only other man on this podcast who's trained in the arts of unarmed combat, I'm with Woody. It's all about the snapdown. You control the ostrich head. You control the ostrich talons. You control its life or lack thereof. Woody wins. Get a good Muay Thai grip. Yeah, yeah. Then control the ostrich talons. You control its life, or lack thereof. What do you win? Get a good Muay Thai grip. Yeah, yeah.

Then you can throw some knees, maybe. Grab the back of his head. Get some dirty elbows in there. Yeah, I see. You caught him. You caught him up. And then he's got blood in his eyes. What about some foot stomps, Kyle?

Some foot stomps. This isn't pride, all right? This is PK Animal Battle. You can do foot stomps in a UFC. Yeah, you could. You stomp on the ostrich's big stupid talons. Okay. Directly stomps to the foot.

I've changed my opinion on the ostrich. That one is doable. The Clydesdale is not. I think the normal size horse is not. What's that? This ostrich wants to fight. I can see it clearly does. Yeah, and it's just not getting much done. Yeah does chase him with the foot a couple times i saw that he was standing on but

look i'm not sure about this but i feel like if i've got one hand on the neck and he's trying to kick me now we have a one-footed opponent right you snap down you know if you're on one foot you have no balance. Agreed. I feel like you try and bring his long neck down, though, and he's still got two feet of neck. He just ends up plucking your eye out. Just whop! I got more than that.

Taylor, this might surprise you, but I can reach from like six feet up all the way to the ground. Yeah, I can tell. You want to see a video of an ostrich running man over? Let's watch this. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. I also found a medical report of an ostrich

disemboweling a man and killing him. Here's a guy just getting embarrassed by an ostrich. Look at the thumbnail. Oh yeah, this ostrich is winning handily. The thumbnail is so bad.'m at zero oh i just said oh okay no we already watched it he just kind of bowls him over part of what like i don't like

about the ostrich is it runs in a very disjointed weird way with the momentum and so it feels like there's no way to anticipate where it's going to juke and dodge and all that. Wings out. This guy's getting stomped. Fucking cameraman idiot. Dude, the guy's not getting stomped. He has no injuries.

At 39 seconds, the ostrich's foot is on his face. He grabbed it by the wing and he controlled its body. That absolutely proves Woody's thesis. You control the head or the wing. You dominate the bird. You dominate the bird.

This guy didn't have any training. You dominate. He's an amateur and he still fucked up that ostrich is weak. Ostrich attacking humans. Compilated. Did you still train? Absolutely. Oh, that's cool.

For the purpose of this argument, I still train. You work too much to train like you used to? Yeah, dude. I tried. I signed up at Eddie Bravo's gym in downtown L.A. And after one class, I was already finding myself like, I can't make it today. Oh, I can't make it this week.

And I just realized I'm not ready yet. How much is it? It's expensive. I mean, it's rent in downtown L.A realized I'm not ready yet. How much is it? It's expensive. I mean, it's rent in downtown LA. I think it was $170 a month. That's a lot. They're really regimented there in a way that's probably actually good for the students. I think you have to memorize their system and drill their system for three months before they let you do any live rolling, which if anybody listening trains jujitsu, they probably know the most fun part of that martial art is live rolling.

So I imagine they lose a lot of students making them do that, but they probably are really good once they are ready to roll. How long did you train before they let you roll? Right away, first class. Oh, really? Mine wasn't that fast. It was three or four weeks. Again, that's probably good, but yeah it was an mma gym where i rolled one of the first guys i rolled with was joseph benavides really i bet you lost

he armbarred me one of the first people i rolled with i forget her name like torah dolores or something like that she was one of the top women in the world and i lost it's like wait what do you notice the top women in the world, and I lost. Wait, do you notice the divide now? I think Kyle and Taylor are bitter because they know we could fuck up an ostrich and a horse, respectively. They're jealous of our ostrich rolling skills. We never agreed to the horse thing. That's absurd.

God, I hope you're divided. I still think that there are eagles that would kill Woody if they were so inclined. I hope you're attacked by an angry Clydesdale. I hope that next time Woody is in his sky lawn chair, that a golden eagle who watches our show, one of our golden eagle patrons, was just had enough who was bitter woody talking shit about him for years just flies with those thumb talons that are three and a half inches long blinds him first so now what he's flying blind he doesn't know where he's going and then it's just jugular jugular just it's like the it's just taking him apart up there in the air uh one of my friends got attacked by a maybe a vulture or hawk or something like that while he was flying jesus yeah so yeah it was coming they attack his wing in particular so he's flying

around and the hawk is like dive bombing and like shaped holes so he spiraled out and landed and then but so this was free flight and in free flight you're constantly like fighting for your altitude it's no fun to throw it away like like he did so the next guy comes along and he's on the radio and he's like you know i'm getting attacked by a hawk and my buddy is like you gotta get down you gotta spiral apparently if you fly in where her nest is that this is a known risk but we're new there so like we don't recognize how real the risk is anyway the hawk attacks his wing and it rips it open and then it attacks his way he's got two giant holes in his wing like wait what is this guy flying i'm sorry a paraglider do you know what that looks like a parachute and uh yeah he ripped two big holes

in his wing the guy landed he was all bummed out, but he wasn't hurt. But yeah, it's a real thing. Apparently in Australia, it's even more common. Getting attacked by hawks, apparently. Speaking of animal attacks, we have a spider. His name is Henry, and he lives in my kitchen. And he's a wolf spider, but he's like a little bigger than normal. He's almost like half a tarantula.

And I'm like, Jackie, that's a wolf spider. They are friends. He's the reason we don tarantula. And I'm like, Jackie, that's a wolf spider. They are friends. He's the reason we don't have other bugs around here. And Jackie's like, Henry's going to have to shape up because every time she opens the refrigerator, she runs out at her and freaks her out. And we have a totally different attitude about him. He's hanging out under the fridge. Yeah. He hangs out.

If you don't know what a wolf spider is, he kind of looks like a brown tarantula, but much smaller. In America, they're harmless and they're fun. In Australia, they'll kill your dog. You've let this thing go on living inside your house? Yes. Yeah, I like spiders. It's a spider. Dude, they're on the same team, Danny.

No, Woody, you and I have already established that animals aren't on our team. Spiders shouldn't be an exception to this. Look, Kyle, now we still have our alliance, and they've fractured. Pickle party always wins. It's across the board, dude. If the horse and ostrich die, the brown spider dies, too.

I'm sorry, Woody. I mean, if it's in my unfinished area in my basement, and I see a little wolf spider, I know it's killing brown recluses, but if I see one in any other area of my house like no no you gotta

at the very if I will just kill them like my girlfriend is like the pick up bugs and take them outside kind of person even for the terrible ones sometimes and I am not I don't want to touch it I just want to kill it yeah spiders are gross and they shouldn't have been hanging out in my house yeah so i mean i get you know what i know i can take a spider because i've done that many times before

undefeated i give spiders a thrashing an absolute threat no mercy for fucking spiders they get killed the moment i see them i kill them every single fucking time. No. I don't cohabitate with spiders. That $45 salt bug-killing gun was the biggest waste of money. Oh. Tell me more. Now he just salts his food from afar.

Not even that far. Unless I'm within three feet of my plate, I'm not getting any salt. It's terrible. so it just doesn't shoot far it shoots a couple of feet and it sucks yep yeah like if but like it's like good enough that if that you could make a spider six feet from you pretty for us pretty angry that's not but you're not gonna knock him out or anything And then you've got salt all over your house. It's kind of a stupid, stupid thing. You've got salt all over your house. It's true.

Yeah, the best way to do it is I just take like a kitchen rag and then snap it like it flies or whatever. So anyway, that's the bug killing discussion. Yeah, I have a lot of bugs in my house. Yeah, well, I mean, this time of year, not really. But during the summer and spring, because I lived right next to a forest, there's so many bugs in my yard. I have this company come out and spray my yard during the summer once a month.

It just really minimizes the amount of ticks yeah for my dog yeah and so well i don't know what it is i know that's what it is yeah well that's what they're doing they're coming and they're spraying my yard so that i don't get ticks in my house or on my dogs and that's one of my favorite episodes of the sopranos when tony's at like the lawn and garden place and the guy's like... Tony's got bugs of some kind. I can't recall what kind. He's like, we got this organic stuff. Tony's like, yeah, I already tried that.

It's not working so great. He looks around, makes sure nobody's listening. You got any DDT back there? He's like, no. They made us stop carrying that like a decade ago. Come on, you maybe got a little laying around it's just tony shady with everything he does

where like the the owner of that shop i think thinks that tony is mad at him and tony has no idea what's going on like with you're close it's uh uh tony's son has gotten in a fight with another guy's son and uh tony doesn't even know about it but tony sees that guy's father like like the boy who fought his his son's father and he goes hey and tony happens to be holding an axe yeah and this guy is like terrified of tony like tony's standing he's like you need to come over to that he's like waving the axe around like come over the house we'll have a few hot dogs and burgers with the boys have a couple of beers and he's like i don't know tony i i don't even know if these kids are friends anymore you know you don't have people grow apart you know that's also the one where tony gets the cop like

uh gets him like reduced to like the fucking evidence locker or some shit and he can't get he's not eligible for overtime. So he has to get a job at the same lawn and garden supply place. Oh, and then he feels bad about it. Gets him rehired. Well, no. No, he does not get him rehired. He offers him a bribe and the guy turns the bribe down.

And then he just ends up working at a lawn and garden place forever, I suppose. And that was the end of his tale. That was the end of his tale. No happy endings on The Sopranos. Yeah, such a good show. I know a guy who's just now watching it. One of those guys we play

Vermintide with. Yeah, what an idiot. I watched it almost a year ago. Actually, beginning of quarantine, I watched it. I envy him, though. Man, it. I envy him though, man. I wish I could, I could go back and watch it for the first time.

Like not know what's going to happen. Yeah. I've never seen it. I guess I can have that experience. Oh, you know what they're bringing back? Uh, they're doing a special 10 episode,

um, Dexter like reunion. They're like bringing Dexter back for 10 episodes. What everyone's been clamoring for. It's funny that they're doing it because I've literally been watching Dexter for the last couple of weeks. I'm somewhere in the fourth season.

Yeah. That's one of the only drama shows I've watched. I enjoyed it when I was a kid. I don't know what else to contribute. So what's a reasonable answer for how big an animal somebody could kill in a ring it depends on the animal certainly a deer i like the big herbivores cows are heavy and i feel like they're easy pickings you're so wrong i've seen a cow attack a grown man before he was

pinned into a corner and just screaming for his life we had to reach in and pull him out did he try would have killed it no there was no grappling it like you guys are underestimating the speed strong the speed and ferocity of these animals like and the distances that they cover like as they're ramming their head into you like their head is hitting you and then it's three feet away and then it's hitting you again because that's their reach like that's how much bigger they are i have done this with a cow someone said they would pay me a hundred dollars if i could ride a cow we were in a field uh big fenced field and um i couldn't even smack the cow like you can't catch it a human can't catch it maybe if you're a marathon runner you could chase it down and tire it out or something but like at the end of the day for

you guys let me see if a middle schooler can knock it over i don't respect that animal middle schools can't knock it out cow tipping is a made-up thing it's like no it happens no that's something doesn't happen wait can i have this one answer themselves here let me explain cow tipping to you danny i know a kid who said he tipped over a cow you know why please let me have the floor cow tipping is a prank that country kids play on city kids they drive them out to the field and then they leave them there and as my proof it's hard to prove a thing didn't happen but i challenge you find a youtube video of someone tipping over cow they don't sleep standing up yeah i'll fuck up a cow okay i'm with you there i like danny against

a cow but you're probably imagining this like somebody running through a field and then like oh they couldn't quite tip the cow over it's like no the cow isn't retarded and it's way faster than that person sneaking up on them like you're not not only are you gonna not be strong enough to tip a cow you're not gonna catch it unless it wants you i would do this thing where like so if i looked at the cow it would consider me a much greater threat and have a higher level of awareness so i'd like walk by the cow not paying attention to it and then zip over at it uh the cow was not uh like they run 35 miles an hour

and it has nothing to get distracted like 14 yeah you're like talking to yourself. At 20. I'm telling you, dude. One kick in the udders, these black and white fuckers will buckle. Here's another thing. Spills everywhere. That thing's on the PKA creamer. I saw a cow get one of her teats ripped off one time, and she didn't even flinch.

Yeah, they really don't care. I've seen them attack grown men, and the men were going to die if they weren't saved. I've seen it. I've seen it. If you were to put, if you were to tape a football to the back of a cow and tell it somehow it comprehended,

you're on the 50-yard line. There's the, whoever the best defense in the NFL is, there's the fucking Falcons. Here's the Colts defense. Not the Falcons, I promise you. The Colts are not stopping that cow. No. And if they do stop it by just a huge mass of people trying to all work together,

you're going to have a half dozen not injured, like life-threatening injuries from hooves puncturing them. Imagine if you put pads and a helmet on the cow, too. Oh, yes, obviously. Because that's totally fair. Like, you get some fucking cleats. You get some cleats on that fucking cow. A fucking Vikings jersey and turn Bessie loose.

It would absolutely, it would score a touchdown. Every drive. Every drive. A hundred out of a hundred times, Bessie would score a touchdown every drive every drive a hundred out of a hundred times Bessie would score a fucking TD unless she'd go she'd go for the two-point conversion too we're not kicking with Bessie on the field she's the best fullback of all time she would not dare if Aaron Donald got his hands on a dairy cow he could throw that thing 20 yards if you put me on a football field with a pair of 16 ounce gloves

you want gloves now i would break my hands on that stupid cow skull if i didn't know you could you can have a baseball bat if i'm the bet and i'm the one placing the bet it's not gonna fucking matter wait a baseball gloves a baseball you're gonna with that aluminum bat, and it's going to give you that vibrating thing. I punched a cow in the head once. How did you do that? I don't know. I was 16. I punched a cow in the head.

It was locked up in a trailer. It couldn't get away, obviously. I didn't like, come on, you. But I fucking, pow, punched it in the top of the head, between the eyes but up a little bit higher it was like hitting a tree but harder like you know how if you hit a tree like it doesn't move at all yeah like like it it was it was like hitting like a thick hard tree there was no give the cow didn't notice yeah and it hurt me so much the other animal uh like like we were blowing up pigs one day and so we had these pig carcasses in the back of my truck

what he makes a face like that's odd no you didn't say they were dead pigs you just said you were blowing up pigs well since you think blowing up live pigs is so insane i'll tell you that story right after this one um so we're blowing up these dead pigs we had bought from these amish people they were like oh you guys are having like cooking them in the ground hey the the old-fashioned way right like they were they were guessing we're doing that well you know cook a pig in the ground like country thing where they they sort of bury a pig in coals and they slow cook it for hours and it's very good i'm telling i had no idea and i was just like, we're blowing them up with explosives. And the look of disgust on this Amish man's face as we left his general store was just palpable.

You could feel the disgust in the air. It was palpable. But he needed the money for those. Yes. They took our English money anyway. But I punched one of those like in the ribs. Also, no give. No give no give hurt real bad twisted my wrist a little bit i couldn't keep my wrist straight because he's in the back of a fucking pickup truck and i'm having to like come down hurt so much but

yeah we tweaked your wrist punching a dead pig punching a dead pig yes um not much he was only 26 at this time yeah yeah this is why i'm so sure that when you guys talk about fighting animals i'm just like bullshit man you ever try to fight a dead one it's hard or like have you like you know i remember just being a kid because my parents like had a bunch of cattle on their farm in southern missouri and like you'd go there and like pet the top of their head and you just feel how broad and flat and hard that skull bone is even on just the the female cows you're just like this is this this would you know this would fuck me up in a headbutt contest then if you ever look i think it'd be a great video if you like went to a rodeo and and did some stuff you know maybe ride a bull maybe they have i don't know if you like went to a rodeo and and did some stuff you know maybe ride a bull

maybe they have i don't know if you're aware of this but they have this thing where these guys sit at a poker table yeah in the arena and then they turn a bull loose into the arena and the last person sitting at the poker table wins like a decent amount of money and but it's terrifying because the bull hates you it's got this rope tied on its dick like squeezing its dick against the body it's very uncomfortable for it and it's coming out full of rage and as soon as it sees people sitting playing cards nonchalantly he just figures they tied the rope i guess because so he comes right fucking for him and last man sitting like i said wins the money go Go for it.

Go for it. That's a great video. I want you to listen to me real carefully right now. I'm listening. If I'm playing cards with three other rodeo clowns and they release a big bull into the arena, I'm putting my hand down, folding it, getting up, walking right over to that bull and punching it in the throat.

I thought you were going the other way for a second. I thought you were whipping like, fold, I'm out. No. No, I would punch that bull in the throat, wrestle it down, as they say, by the horns, and have my way with it sexually. There's nothing any of these animals can do to

dominate me. I think a goat could beat you up. I'm so insulted right now. A billy goat? I just think you people are so underestimating how strong the average animal is. This is what happens. They say, oh, okay, this animal is only 45 pounds, but it's a good 45 pounds. Danny, what are you? Are you 200?

Maybe you're 63. I'm 175 pounds. Very limber. My cardio is fantastic. Goats, you guys are big on diet and clearly supplements. Goats eat, they eat literal shit and garbage. Yeah. They are so mousy.

They eat exactly what goats are supposed to eat. That goats are supposed to eat fences and siding off of homes? That's a fucking cartoon stereotype. That doesn't happen. I had a friend in middle school who went over to these goats that live next to the middle school and he fed one a holy bible that had just been passed out in front of the school i just need to go eat the bible i want that on a shirt i've seen a goat eat a bible

a lot of trouble for it that's the most random thing I've heard this year. Go to 4 minutes and 20 seconds in this cowboy pinball. I'll check it out. This is my favorite arena. 4.20, bro. 4.28? 4.20. I'm there. Tell me when you guys are good.

I'm ready to go. Ready, set, play. Alright. We've got people standing in circles. I'm ready to go. This is a good one. Ready, set, play. All right. So we've got people standing in circles. There's a woman out there. Is that it? Is he supposed to see that? What the?

Oh, he keeps flipping. He just keeps going. Oh, boy. Oh, that guy's hurt. And I'm not sure. He's dragging that man's corpse. I love the way they remove him, boy. Oh, that guy's hurt. And I'm not sure... He's dragging that man's corpse. I love the way they remove him, too. Time out.

Yeah, the bull's gonna fucking abide by that. Time out. The guy in the middle of the ring who looks fearless, that would be me. The guy who's got his arms folded. Look at this woman in blue who's just thanking her lucky stars that she's still alive. The bull didn't pay attention to her.

I like that Danny, upon seeing a bull take a man and flip it six feet in the air so he can't walk anymore, he's like, I'd be the badass in the middle. I would have dodged. Watching it the way kids watch action movies. I would have been so fast with the sword, but I would have used two swords and not a sword and a shield because I'm too quick. But there is a balance here, right? There's not a bird on the planet that could beat Danny. Dude, this ball sucks.

There's at least three. To make an example of it. Look, I would handle that ball like Israel out of San Diego Costa. There are ways which you could fight animals. We will promote the shit out of it if you ever decide to fight animals i will i will we will promote the shit out of it if you ever decide to fight an animal we will talk about it for weeks if you if

you can arrange some sort of a rodeo situation where they will allow you to fight like i would like to see a whole food chain of of events like where you maybe you start with a goat because when the goat beats you up you're not going to be so likely to go to the bronc or the bull um or or or maybe just a big cat at first or something because because like animals are hard man they're animals i will metaphorically i'll pull a fucking horse's wife beater up over its head and then start slugging it in the ribs until it folds this horse coat for a race of people am i is that a is that a A race of people? Am I?

Is that a euphemism I'm not aware of? There was. I worked at a bar. I was a bouncer in Sacramento. I worked at this club, and they did have a code for a certain race of people that they deemed the most problematic race as far as getting. What was the code? It was code seven. A code seven was an individual of this ethnicity and i know you guys will not be able to guess the ethnicity they got in the votes no uh indian yes i knew it wasn't gonna be

one of the big racial groups because you said that yes all right is it because they're grabby it's exactly when they drink and they drink their fucking asses off. Half of them own liquor stores. It's unsurprising. They start getting grabby and huggy and loving on each other. And then eventually one of them will say something that offends his best friend. And when they're both shit face, they just start slugging. They have a habit of going at it. Indian dudes.

It was a regular thing. I sold cars. We had a code for our group of people. We called them Canadians. But it wasn't Indiansians was it no my um and i guessed this group yes i mean like 35 of the time you could i had a i'm trying not to dox him but there's a person in my universe that works somewhere in law enforcement and they call black people democrats and they'd call, but there's a person in my universe that works somewhere in law enforcement and they call black people Democrats.

And they'd call it like there's a car full of Democrats. That was their code. That's like a code over the radio. We're like cops joking around amongst cops, but they're like on the radio. Like we got a suspicious looking Democrat. They had to stop using it on the radio. I just shot another Democrat. It became a thing.

They're like, you can't just call people Democrats on the radio. Yeah, that's why we're Canadians, because it's so non-offensive. That is funny. Like, uh-oh, there's a Canadian coming in. There's like an order. We'd all be sitting in this group just within the door of the car dealership because there's a big theater area with a bank of televisions. Whatever was on, movies or football, usually the football game

because it's the weekend. It might look like we're just sitting there in no order whatsoever, but we all have a mental order of who's next to get the customer coming through the door and who's after him and who's after him and who's after him like we all know who's one two three four five six seven eight nine and ten based on how long we've been sitting there uh waiting in line even though there is no line and and a canadian would come in and you just be like i noticed sergey went to the bathroom. He was up, though. Should one of you take the customer?

I'm not. I refuse. Was the problem that Canadians tend to be just lookers and not buyers? Problems they don't have any fucking credit. So they'd be buyers, and then you get to the end of the sales process, and they would fall through. Not only that, they would be like and i'm not saying this to be a to be like offensive or stereotypical

this is like an actual over and over it would happen like like this guy would want like an a seventy thousand dollar expedition and we get to the part of the where i'm showing the payments and i'm like all right it's a seventy thousand dollar expedition the payments and I'm like, alright, it's a $70,000 expedition. The payments are $1,450 per month. And he's like, what the fuck? How can that be? And I'm just like, because of math.

We take X amount of months times X amount of dollars to get back to $80,000 worth of car after we've paid taxes, dude. How do you not know that? I was like, what kind of payment were you looking for? $375,000? Maybe $400,000?

And it's like... Ah, so not a lot of wiggle room here. All right. Do you want the front third of the car? Exactly. You can sit in it. That won't even buy half the car

that you're looking at like like for 400 a month so if i if i've had this happen to me a bunch right i find myself in the dealership for one reason or another maybe getting a car serviced or whatever and all the salesmen are like oh here's a guy and they want me and i'm like truth is i want to sit in this car but i'm a total waste of your time i'm not even shopping did that guy lose his spot on me or like i guess he did yeah yeah and he might get in trouble if he just leaves you alone uh i'm a horrible customer no i mean i mean it's fine it just depends on like what what the uh environment of that dealership is like some some sometimes they would get it and sometimes they won't like management.

You could be like, no, he, he literally is just looking. Oh really? That's like, that's like how every girl says, no,

I, I just want to kiss. And like 80, well, I don't know. 40% of the time we, you end up fucking though. Right?

Yeah. All right. Do you want to miss out on 40% of your sales? No. All right. You don't believe them when they say that you're not we're not raping don't don't understand i wasn't talking about rape here but you but you you kiss them anyway even though like the goal is to sell the car you know you hang out with them and try to sell them the car even if they're set because no the times that someone came in and they were like i was like hey how you doing welcome to big daddy ford my name's kyle and you are and he's i'm i'm richard but i'm just looking all right let's look together let me help you find what you're looking

for you know i'll leave you alone i won't bother you but this is a big lot it's 14 acres i could be some i could be of some help and if you're with me they won't bother you and i'll send you on your way and i'll leave you alone. See, there's two scenarios there, right? I've been there where it's like, hey, I'm just looking. When that can mean I'm just starting the car prying process. And if you're really good, we might finish it today. It can also mean, oh, well, my real car is in there getting serviced.

It's only a year old, and I'm just looking at this year's. I'm not in the market for a Mustang. My truck's getting the oil changed. What about your wife? What about your kid? Yeah. What about your dad? Would he love a birthday present? Her car's newer than mine.

My dad's fine on cars. But she's a terrible driver. She'll probably wreck up soon. That is a strong point. It'd be nice if you knew what was coming next. Maybe something with more airbags. Have you seen the new Volvo? Yeah, that's a touche.

Yeah, but almost no one would come in and be like i'm here to buy a car i know what i want i have my credit union check it's already made out for this amount of money uh because this is what i'm paying like that's happened like that's absolutely happened and you'd be like well all right just sit down right there i'll take the check and uh they'll wash the car and you want some coffee you know and you've sold a car but almost every other single time like 99 of the time it's like oh i'm just looking uh i just want to look around blah blah blah when in reality they're like if if they could if you injected them with truth serum they would say i'm here to buy a car i'm here to buy a car. I'm here to buy a car. I'm here to buy a car. Okay. Or I, or I don't want to buy a car,

but I might, I might like it. I'm not like, yeah, you know, stick the tip of a car in. I might regret signing those finance documents. And man,

you take the car back. That's happened. That has happened when people renege. But, you know, under Georgia law, once they drive over the Cove, a deal is a deal. Is that the deal in Georgia? Yeah. I don't know North Carolina's deal. Nor do I.

The guy was almost like overselling me. I was like, I don't like the process. And I did the research beforehand. I was like, I don't like the process. And I like did the research beforehand. I was like, oh, this Honda is great. Fucking perfect. I'm a bare bones car guy. I don't give a fuck about cars. Cheap.

It's going to work forever. Basic. It's got Bluetooth so I can listen to fucking whatever on my phone. That's all I need. And so I went in and like, like told him like, oh, this one. Yeah, I want this one. And he's like, we got it. He just would not

stop doing the upsell thing because i think this wasn't nearly as good of a car to be selling for as some of the other ones on there like the amount because it's just you know this was in the bottom like tier like there's even though it's a honda dealership they have some expensive shit like even like land cruisers and stuff but like he would just not take yes for an answer same with the finance the finance guy kept trying to get me to buy like additional uh like warranties and shit and over and over like it was the thing where i had to be like no i'm gonna go with the one that comes with honda like i'm gonna do like like the one that's with that and he's like okay so you're just gonna do this basic one and then i'd be like assuming and i'd be like yeah yeah let's get this

going and then like he would like try and sneak it in almost you'd be like so if you're just going to do this basic one, and then I'd be assuming, and I'd be like, yeah, let's get this going, and then he would try and sneak it in, almost. So if you're going with the lowest, I'm like, no, you don't understand. I'm not doing that. I'm not, sir. I'm not. Why do you have your family facing towards me? Are you trying to... Because it's the only way I make money. Otherwise, I'm just doing paperwork for you.

Exactly. He just did paperwork for me because that shit's a scam. I'm not doing that. Unless you finance the car. Unless you finance. Then it's worthwhile. No, no, no. Unless you finance the car. And then he probably made a quarter point on you.

Oh, no. I didn't finance through that guy. Yeah, I'm with Taylor. I got my guy. At all? No, I got a better deal through the bank I use. Ah, okay. Wow.

He literally didn't get paid. No, he didn't do anything. My guy didn't get paid. He didn't do anything my guy didn't get paid retard he was on he was just trying to upsell upsell thing thing and i was like look you're not gonna land this like i'm not gonna buy it i feel like i need to be polite and you can say your thing and he's like cool so he says it and i'm like no and then he said what i needed to hear which is all right well if you're not going to get there you might as well get there fast and he just finished the paperwork like no more selling no more you know like just he's yeah see he gave you an option he shouldn't have done that uh yeah i should have

lied i think if you were there no you lie you just pretend like these things are part of the package and you just sort of like and you just move along that wouldn't have worked there was not a hundred percent of the time no nothing works a hundred percent of the time but it and you just sort of like move along. That wouldn't have worked. There was no. Not 100% of the time, no. Nothing works 100% of the time. But it would have worked on me. You cast a wide net of fraudulence. I hear you.

I hear you. It would be impossible to get me to buy that. Was there a documentation fee of any kind? It's incredibly rare that there isn't. There might have been, but I usually work pretty hard to get that knocked off. And then they tell me they can't knock it off, that it's not fair for everyone. And I suggest they remove it from the price, and that's how we work it. Ours was $700.

I would have noticed that. Yeah. I think I had to remove the $700. It's something I would have noticed that. Yeah. I think I had to remove. Well, they don't notice that since when you're charging them another like thousand for perma plate, which doesn't exist. So they usually argue about that first.

And then when they get back around to the perma plate, you're like, Hey, I took the thousand dollars of stuff that doesn't exist already off for you. And you know, I remember I found the price in a magazine or like a website or something that said what i should buy for this trim level yeah it's like i'll play that plus tax nothing else you absorb

the cost that's how it went i don't know if i did well or not you probably did fine i mean they made some money but but you got it you got a decent deal you know you didn't get quote unquote your head knocked off as as they say probably not no it was probably like um one of the like employee plans is what they were listed where like they're making like 500 which i think is fair it's a fucking car yeah yeah and to go off topic the paramotor industry often is like the worst in the resellers. You can buy the wing direct for whatever it is, like $2,600, or you can buy it from a local dealer for like $2,800.

They don't keep it in stock. They don't service it. They don't warranty it. They don't let you return it. Like how are you earning your part of it at all? Like you're not a value-added reseller. You're just an expensive middleman. Basically just a distribution center for you to show up and buy it and then no accountability.

Even a distribution center often keeps some kind of inventory. You still have to wait like three weeks for it to arrive. Yeah, I guess if they don't even have inventory, they're not even a distribution center. They're just a paper. People who occasionally have inventory and might sell you a product. They don't keep it. Some do, but by and large, yeah you a product. They don't keep it. Yeah. Some do, but for by and large,

yeah, they just, I don't know. I guess you're tight and fitness is stringing me fucking along. Yeah. There's a T-bar row machine. I ordered it. What month is it now?

It's halfway through October. I ordered it like August 10th. And just because it was one of the few things on their site that said in stock and i gave it a couple weeks and then reached out and they're like oh it's not going to ship until october 9th i'm like well that's really not chill like i wouldn't have purchased this from you if you just would have had on your site that it wasn't available because like so much shit was unavailable this one was still there that's why i wanted it and like ah well we're sorry about that some guy like sent back like the customer service email in broken english i'm like oh this isn't gonna

go anywhere and waited until october 9th october 10th didn't get an email confirmation on the shipping reached out again i'm sorry that's not gonna ship until november 13th oh i reach out again i'm like this it will have been because they're going to delay me again it will have been like almost a quarter of a year by the time i get this shit just very disappointed very disappointed everything else i've ordered through them has worked fine like it's all worked good it's all good stuff but what the fuck man will you link what that machine looks like? Yeah. Because it's really good for overloading your whole back, arms. This is a great machine that I don't own yet or have tried.

Well, I've used T-bar row machines at gyms. I'm just being a dick. I know. So you sit in that like um you stand in that position with your chest on there yeah yeah you stand on it right feet on the platform to the left stand on it put your chest up there and then you can grab yeah i see then you grab that u-shape thing and there's plates on this circle here yeah the penis at the end of it that's the penis at the end and that's because i really like this machine it feels good when you use them i don't know if you guys ever used one

of those before to gym yeah but uh yeah they're great i like them a lot like a buddy of mine who's a personal trainer uh for people who are going for like hypertrophy and stuff he's like oh yeah i always always recommend this one for that because you can overload your upper body more than you can with like bent over rows and so yeah love it i i've hurt myself with bent rows before whereas with um the machine that i've used is you're sitting completely upright like um and there's a pad on your chest and then it's um it's like it's cables and plates so you're you know're pulling straight to you and you're able to get your elbows way back and actually use your back. I do that just regular seated with the bottom part of my lat pulley, like where you sit and put your feet on the ground.

You grab the handles and do that. Yeah, I love the seated row thing. I wish I would have bought that lat machine a while ago. You really can tell activation there. the seated row thing i wish i would have bought that lap machine a while ago you really can tell activation there and like even bent over rows are one of those workouts with the barbell at least that no matter how many times i've done it and i'm like i'm pretty like i know i'm doing this right it's like it feels risky like if it like when you go to really heavy weights that are really heavy weights for me it's like this is probably i don't know but with that exercise i get concerned that i'm like

sacrificing form to add yeah sometimes how much you use uh i haven't done it in a while i've been using the uh seated row and stuff but i was at for bent over rows i did like 145 yeah that's why you'll never win a fight with a horse that's's true. It's too low. Yeah, the horse usually use, you know, 3,000 to 4,000 pounds for its bent rows. You need to get to there. You need to slowly work there. A pound to work out and eventually you'll

be like 10 years. It would genuinely take decades if you worked out every day. i want to see him fight an animal so bad i wonder how the human ejaculate level to tie things back up here stacks up against a horse eject not even close not even that horse can't compete with kyle i i have seen some videos on the internet and uh just not even close you know what a good way to structure this good this venture of ours is is we can't just have one product it's not one size fits all product some people might not like the full mix you need the base tier where you get

the couple things then the mid-tier the flagship and then the ultra one where you have even more. And that also gives us the opportunity to come up with multiple funny names for different stock keeping units. This could be good. This could be good. We got lots of good ideas cooking here. And we need to come up with some sort of pun about coming like a horse or something. There's a lot of good potential for taglines here. What do you do for a living living i'm in the jizz biz all of our celebrity endorsements can come from cameo and they can also you do not know what they're endorsing we'll just be clever all they're all gilbert godfrey

oh no i don't i was with you but then we just need to keep I feel like we need to get A-list like the best of the cameo, right? Have you ever needed to come more? I was coming the other day. I can't do him, but that would be great. That would be so fucking good. Getting Gilbert Gottfried talking about

how much he can come. And it's only $150. Advertising costs? Eric has not gotten back to me. You know what? We don't need him. We don't need him. We do need him.

This is something that he needs. If we can figure this out, we can figure this out. He already has a company in place. Okay, you're right. We do probably need him. Dude, he literally does this. Cameo has some exciting people that we could get.

Snoop Dogg's my favorite so far. Laz Alzonzo he's the he plays i only want hot chicks for this no we need a no we need a really we have three black fans okay and they all show up to the hangout a big name i forget actually now we only have two who's the black guy in the boys he's one of the boys a train no he that's one of the seven mother's milk is his name he'll do a cameo if you want well norm mcdonald's okay okay okay we'll go first uh chris hansen did a cameo for me for one of my videos he called out a guy in our squad for being a pedophile you get some big names 55 it was money well spent people loved it for sure 375 bucks and we can get norm no mcdonald's yeah no but you want good people on there you know the other day i was trying to come and Jim O'Hare he was in the office I don't know who that is

you only want women I want porn stars voice actors we're in the jizz biz we don't want Norm MacDonald this isn't about the laws this is about Batloads it's about coming

you don't want Norm MacDonald, Gilbert Gottilbert godfrey and john o'hara who's mr uh the guy from seinfeld who plays uh mr peterman you don't want him talking about first of all there's got to be some rule about them literally doing ad work on cameo like they're not going to just do an ad for your product no they need to not know what they're doing like the phrasing needs to be like you know like when i've got a big load i go to these guys for help they didn't think they're advertising a moving company or something i don't have the phrasing exactly right but you see where i'm headed with this i don't get what you're saying all you have to do is on the on the bottom of that page is have a disclaimer saying that this is all for comedic purposes it's a joke this is not an actual endorsement of our you need

big loads you go to rcp or whatever they can still turn it down i do cameos a lot and you can absolutely turn it down and i do if it's an endorsement or sometimes i just shred the product apart and get a one-star review because it's really funny oh wow and my only negative review i've gotten is from some shitty phone charger company but i like what woody's saying like make every other word spell out the actual message we want them to say and then just get crafty on premiere pro and get rid of those excess verbs and we got our message that literally would get us in trouble speaking of that it would have you heard have you heard midi soundboard he has one where they've made a deep fake of wings saying some things a A deep fake. No, I have not. No, that's funny, though.

Is it bad? It's awful. So he plays the regular ones, you know, like, oh, I want a big, choosy, thick burger. Right. I hope your mom dies in a fire. Fries cooked right and all that stuff. And then, like, you know the we'll lose in a game and

let's be like why and then out of nowhere he played this like this long stream of of like wings saying awful things and i was just like what the fuck he said that and he's like no that's the best part he didn't and we were all just like oh my god it sounded like he really said all those things like well he did say all those things just not in that order it must be but deep faking is trickier than that like if you've probably heard people do songs where they just say all the right words but it doesn't sound like the singing it's not right like there's a lot of speaking is pacing and cadence and tone. Sure.

Ice tea for 350 bucks. Chuck Norris for 300. Chuck Norris talking about how much bigger his loads got. Peewee Herman here. Oh, perfect. We get tied into movie theater masturbation. It's great.

Andrew dice play. You know what? We could probably get Anthony Kumia to do an impression of Dice for us for free. He does Dice better than Dice does. By the way, just to quickly change the subject just a little bit. We can go back to this any time.

Braves winning right now. All right. They are up, I think, five to one in about to be the seventh inning. This is the game. About to win the fucking championship series. We got shellacked last night, 15-3. That's not bad because that only counts as one loss.

That only counts as one loss. That's the best part. Routes don't count for extra. It's a good thing that score differential is not how they decide who's the champion or it would have been over by now. But, yeah, we're going to the fucking world series it looks like very excited it's been a good year for my sports teams that reminds me taylor how are the blues doing i haven't been paying attention to hockey oh hockey's out over yeah did they win no they didn't win this year

well they're probably going to have a good year next year though right taylor like or they're you know they're hanging on to their key players and maybe getting some new prospects. Yeah. You know what would be devastating to the core of this team that took 10 years to build up? Is if you lost a top five NHL defenseman to free agency.

It's not like he's your captain. He's the captain of the team. And one of the best players. Where's he heading off to? He's going to Vegas. He's going to the best players. Oh, where's he heading off to? Oh, he's going to Vegas. He's going to the Vegas Knights. And Kyle just happens to have that flag for years, and now he's going. So that's my favorite team.

We're going to be way worse next year, I anticipate. I anticipate as well. Yeah. I mean, like, what did we do? We took Boston's best defenseman, who's way worse than our best defenseman, and we lost our best defense. Come on, man. That's a good trade.

I know we took the cap crunch and the COVID ruining the cap in a way, but... The only worse mismatch than me versus a horse is me versus the Blues' best defenseman. I will fuck these guys up. Or their enforcer. I'll drop the gloves. I'll drop the gloves. I'll drop the gloves.

You know what? I don't know. Can you skate? Fuck yeah, I can skate. The rules said UFC octagon. If you can skate, you would do better than I think you would. You'd do way better against any athlete

than a horse, I'll say. But if you can actually skate, actually, no, it doesn't matter. You get ragdolled by someone who knows how to skate like they it wouldn't even matter if you're the better fighter they would just throw you on the ground you wouldn't be able to yeah I don't like that it's cold I wouldn't like getting punched in the jaw when it was

cold out I think that's the deal breaker for me you get knocked out you get to fall on ice oh great comfort people think hockey's cold now I get if you're playing outside on a lake or something it is but like I didn't even wear a t-shirt under my pads because it made me too hot. You used to play your shit the whole time. Yeah.

Yeah, my sister's husband now is an avid hockey player. They live in Michigan, so he grew up playing hockey. And he grabbed me on the collar and did the hockey fight grab, and it felt terrible. It felt like such a bad position to be in and have to fight a guy from. What were you wearing? What's from. What were you wearing? What's that? What were you wearing? Just a t-shirt. It's the idea of having some

Canadian mongoloid up underneath my Adam's apple and then start throwing right hands. It's terrifying. Hockey jerseys don't stretch at all. It's almost like a gi. It's a better level of control. Yeah. It's not because it's good for fighting it's just that it's good for controlling their body on the ice

you know it's nice but it's no horses made as far as control goes it's not growing out of them you can still remove the jersey there was that clip from a little while ago where the NHL they made that rule where they're like you can't take your helmets off anymore

when you're fighting because it used to be like them getting half naked out there and then throwing down and so like all the legacy players for like a little bit until the nhl made another rule uh would they would go in before the fight and like point at their own helmet and then they would take each other's helmets off first and then they would start fighting then the nhl immediately made a rule that says you cannot remove an opponent's helmet intentionally. So then they had their teammates help them with the helmet. And so then they started getting creative with like, At this point,

it's a bit dangerous because medical staff apparently are no longer allowed to remove player helmets because they kept going over to the paramedics. I want to help them but it's two minutes and I don't want to hurt the team. What if their helmet just falls off? Like both players crawl around with their knees a little bit, tip their head forward.

You're going up to the stand, sticking your head into the fucking first row. I can take it. You can keep it. Just get it off me. That would be hilarious. That would be a great souvenir. They should totally let you take your helmets off when you fight.

You ever get a cool souvenir from a sports event? I mean, basic stuff like hockey pucks, nothing big. I mean, I've got a I guess a couple of sticks I've gotten from games. Those are downstairs. That's super cool. I got a hockey stick.

I've got a Romanurek's stick. He was the NHL, the Blues goalie in the early 2000s. And then I've got Ray Bork's signed stick, which he's a better known player. But yeah, the Bork signed stick's problem. But I didn't get that live at the event. I got it given to me by my dad later. That's cool too.

Yeah. I have Sean Hill's stick. I've never gotten anything. He played for the Hurricanes. I got a car pick from a rock star who got me too later on for masturbating to 15 year olds over webcam so i mean that's your retirement plan right i absolutely right now it's in a plaque up above my window and i treasure it dearly what was his name name? Jesse Lacey. Jesse Lacey. It was in the band Brand New. Yeah, I caught his pic once, and I was so fucking psyched, and he just got me-tooed.

For your guy's benefit, it's that guy I was saying, who I had the sign stick of, Ray Bork. You don't know what he does. He's not a nobody. He's a former NHL defenseman, the all-time defensive leader for goals, assists, and points by a defenseman in the history of former NHL defenseman, the all-time defensive leader for goals, assists, and points by a defenseman in the history of the NHL. So he's the best stat defenseman ever.

So I guess that's the coolest sport. And he played for the Blues too? No. Played for the Bruins in Colorado, right? Yeah. The Bruins. If he played for the, if he played for the blues,

he'd have impressive stats and suck a dick. I mean, in the years he played, yeah, it wouldn't have gone well. Yeah. I remember he played for the Bruins most of his career. The Bruins kind of sucked and they're like,

you know, he should go to a good team and win a cup. And then he did. Yeah. It's funny because I always think of him more with the Colorado Avalanche than the Bruins just because of my age, where I remember watching him playing with Patrick Waugh and Foot and who else was on that fucking Colorado Avalanche team.

I don't know. I remember him skating around with a cup. Joe Sackick. His beard's grayer than mine, like skating around with a cup and his beard is grayer than mine like skating around with a cup it looked ridiculous i don't know how old he was but it wasn't 47 you guys would probably know a lot about this but wasn't there that famous brawl series between the avalanche and the red wings or somebody where the goalies at one point skated out and just duked it out in the middle of the rink. That happened a lot in the late 90s. Those teams did not care for each other.

The Red Wings didn't like it. In 90s hockey, they let you get away with pretty much everything. Pretty much anything you wanted to do, they would let you get away with. Stuff that you get totally suspended for now. There were people who did axe swings with their stick.

This was like the 80s. And they'd be like, what are you their stick. And this is like the 80s. And they'd be like, oh, what are you doing, man? That's not the name of the game. You get out of here, silly head. Silly. You're going to go to jail. Like you assaulted someone with a deadly weapon. The guy who talks, he recently got fired, Mike Milbury.

He was a player for the Bruins who went up into the stands in the 70s because players were heckling him. This was before the walls were very high. And he climbed out of the penalty box into the stands because someone threw a beer at him. And he got in a fight with the guy, hit him. The guy's shoes fell off. And then he started attacking the guy with his own shoes in the bench.

In Bruins attire. And you can hear the 70s announcer being like, this is a goddamn shame for the game look at them look at millbury up there fighting them you just take the cameras off this this is a goddamn shame what they're showing was he an irish this is a goddamn shame did someone steal your lucky charms you know how much we care for this. He's taking something that looks like a shillelagh,

knocking the little rubber thing down. He's supposed to be faking it. He beat him with his own shoes. Yeah, he beat him with his own. Look at Mike Milbury's shoe plate. What was that? Billy Madison? The,

the golf hockey movie with Adam Sandler. Yeah. Anyway, at the start of that, I think he got kicked off his hockey team for taking someone's shoes off and beating him with it or skate. Yeah. 1979 Boston Bruins go to the stands.

Oh man. It was a couple other people to join. I'm going to watch this. It's like, I really want to see him hit the man with his own shoe. If you go to two minutes, you can see them all starting to climb over into the...

Oh my god. He's got him by the... Now he's fighting the player. They look like... It looks like a medieval... It looks like Lord of the Rings when they're scaling the walls. Oh, he took the fan down like the fan was a cardboard cutout. He's gathering skates.

He's taking his shoes off. He's in it with his shoes. He's in it with his shoes in two minutes and 25 seconds. So, all right. He goes up, takes this guy down. I swear to God, the guy is like like one of those rock'em sock'em robots like the guy has zero resistance he's shocked that there's a six foot five man on him wearing skates still in full pants he immediately grabs the guy's shoe it's

like that was his intention like he went up there's like i'm gonna kick your ass with your own shoe he like tugs at it it's hard to get off gets it off and then starts wailing on him with his own fucking shoe that's hilarious this happened in basketball it was the indiana pacers and the guy's name was ron artest they changed it to like meta world peace but anyway was he on was he on the pistons when that happened uh pacers indiana pacers right it Pistons. I could be totally wrong. I think so. Anyway, I guess someone in the crowd threw a beer at him. And the way Ron Artest tells the story is like, dude, I was defending myself.

I was fighting for my life. It was him or me. And he goes up into the stand and he beats the fuck out of a guy. But wrong guy. He did not beat up the guy who threw the beer. He got a little confused and beat up someone who sat near the beer thrower. And that just doesn't seem right. I'm sure the guy who threw the beer is sitting there like.

They kind of spread out. Dude, LeBron James, your favorite. He's generally beat. There's a lot of people saying he's the greatest of all time now who i don't know enough about anything to to make that sort of judgment but i don't like his glued on hair or his uh or his attitude so i hope he hurts himself real badly and he and uh he can't play anymore it's a shame they won the championship his glued on hair is hilarious i feel like you don't give enough credit. Fair enough. I give Elmer's

glue all the fucking credit. Elmer's glue is not doing its job. I think that it's funny. It's gross. He needs to do it right. He can either go bald like a lot of players before him. Barkley, Jordan, etc. Just do it right. He can either go bald like a lot of players before him, Barkley, Jordan, et cetera, just shave it clean.

Or I don't know of any great black hair transplants. The Afro. Oh. But white guys do hair transplants, and it works fantastic. Elon Musk comes to mind. Get some white people hair. That's what he should do. That's even funnier than the glued-on hair.

That looks spectacular. Imagine fucking LeBron James, but he's got my hair. There's like four people in India with patchy hair because they did transplants. That would be hilarious. Long, blonde, European locks that he's like brushing out of his eyes before he takes a takes a shot oh that'd be that'd be hilarious dude this ron artest video is so funny just wrong guy i saw not even the same color shirt and you can tell that's not the first person ron artest has beaten the shit out of that week like he He looked like he was on his fight game.

He was ready to go. He was too fighty, I think, at that point in his career. He really changed what he was about. He changed his name to World Peace, and he stopped getting in that kind of trouble. Somebody gave him a talking to. You're right about a talking to, but someone changed his mind, it seemed.

I bet it was someone called Nike or something like that. I bet it was, look, you want to make $20 million over the next three years selling fucking sneakers? Or do you want to beat up middle-aged white men in the third deck? I didn't think of it that way. You might be right. I'm definitely open to that idea in my head though it went differently like like a mentor figure or something was like bro wrong path you know on our test doesn't strike me as the type who has a mentor

could be wrong you ever see lebron's wife no no i don't know I actually I can't read you at all right now she might be mega hot she might be like a complete mismatch she might oh she's pretty she is she hot as Ethan

from H3H3's wife married in 2013 I'm not I'm not gonna join you okay you were very happy to join me last time the only thing you were reticent on was tony ferguson yeah you were very hostile toward elah klein if i i'm sorry was i drunk you seem sober are you sure you're not talking about sure you're not talking about Alina not getting that confused no no I know

exactly what Dan is talking about what were you saying about his wife she seems nice and fit oh Savannah James maybe she's improved over the years I think I'm looking at her kind of done up here's a picture of her at the ESPYs so this is going to be the best version maybe she's improved over the years i think i'm looking at her kind of done up like

here's a picture of her at the espies right so it's going to be the best version oh that doesn't even count let me see that that is like you'll you'll love this about lebron i'm sure that that that's like his high school girlfriend that is good right assuming he's faithful and everything and then she doesn't just let him get away with anything because that happens in pro relations like pro athletes are like look good yeah yeah yeah um that man maybe i saw a picture of him and his mom because i thought this was about to turn into a lebron roast session but but no she's kind of cute yeah his wife is pretty. Yeah, but I saw him next to a woman maybe five years ago that I thought was his wife. And it looked like... She looked like the fat maid from the Django movie.

It was not a good look. I'm looking at an unflattering picture here, but she had just had a baby. Yeah, he's had a slew of them. He has, hasn't he? Yeah, he's had a slew of them. He has, hasn't he? Yeah, I'm not sure. It gets darkly racial when you call him a slew of

babies as opposed to... There are like eight other words I could have used that are so much worse. Slew. Slew isn't bad. There's no connotation there. Yeah, slew. I really talked about that man's wife connotation there yeah slew that just means a lot about that man's wife last time i don't remember it i hope we we be talking about h3h3 now

three kids oh why are you upset about that you were you were so crazy like i wouldn't do that right now like i don't know what my mindset was when I said those things. Because right now I'm just thinking, oh, she seems like a nice person. Yeah. Maybe you were drunk last time, and maybe you took a bong rip last time you walked off screen here. So you're a little angry. No. No.

None of that. He's days away from his probation and he could not fucking get up. I am absolutely not fucking anything. I'm as sober as can be. As sober as a bird what happened what happened kyle is yeah this was one of my most memorable pka moments i mentioned that podcast as an example of garbage radio you agreed actually not only did you agree i think you just went straight for ela or whatever her name was and you said in the most sarcastic tone imaginable because i commented on

how shitty your broadcasting skills were you said quote oh but she's so attractive danny though well isn't it funny you just so much of this show you're like wait did we we said that do we i don't remember i have no memory of that i don't even remember you saying that that seems incredibly cruel to say. I have nothing against those people or their show. I don't like it. I don't hate it. I've never listened to it.

That's just mean for the sake of me. It's unlistenable. That's kind of what this show is. Mean for the sake of me. No, we're mean for the laws. Yeah. Well, yeah, you're right. It's more.

It's for the gigs. And the good thing is... I hope that other man dies. That other man that it's separated now by three and a half hours of time, so it's safe to say. Separated by three and a half hours of time? Nobody's making it in here, boys.

We may as well be talking to each other. That was fun. LeBron James once saved another NBA player, Carmelo Anthony, during a boating excursion. He was pulled away by the current. LeBron can swim is the most shocking part of that article. I'm pretty sure he dove in and swam over to Carmelo Anthony and pulled him back to the boat that's amazing

all right you want to you want to place any ufc bets for uh for the next uh danny's in let's talk all right look i used to say gaethje could win you've probably heard me do the old rock paper scissors thing uh for people who haven't i had this idea gaethje could win. You've probably heard me do the old rock, paper, scissors thing. For people who haven't, I had this idea Gaethje beats Khabib. Khabib beats Conor. Conor beats Gaethje. That was my rock, paper, scissors thought. And then I heard Firas. What's his last name?

GSP's coach? Oh, don't ask me. Danny Dino, GSP's coach. Firas. Firas Ahabi. Ahabi. That's it. Anyway, I heard him talking about it, and he had Khabib,

and he kind of won me over to that side. He's like, Gaethje depends too much on the low kick, which is just a takedown on a platter for a guy like Khabib. And then is Gaethje really going to get up from Khabib? No one else seems to. I'm like, man, Khabib's just going to – he's going to accept these free takedowns in the form of low kicks, and I think Khabib's going to stay on top and win.

I don't think Gachi will throw the low kicks until third, fourth round. And I think if Gachi can catch him, he's going to take him out. I think it's going to depend on what happens when and if Khabib takes him down. If he fucking just goes on his back, tries to go into guard, I think it's it. I think Khabib is just so good at working through that position and solving that Rubik's Cube that

is an opponent on their back. He's just going to pinch those legs together, squeeze you up against the cage, climb your body like a fucking rope ladder, and then eventually get you in that position where he gets one of your arms uh out of your own control and start smashing you on the side of the fucking head and then he grinds you like that for like the last three minutes of the whole fucking round and it's like all right well there there goes a whole round and then the next round sure enough it happens again and then repeat until the match is over but if gaethje can

fucking pop back up i think gaethje's got a very good chance of catching him. He's got the power. So I would bet Gaethje's... I'll take Gaethje for five. I'll take Khabib for five. All right, that's fun. Danny, do you have this talent at all? It seems like if Khabib bear hugs your calves,

it's just inevitable he's working his way to full mount. Danny, if I bear hug your calves you're fine you don't you're not in any danger at all what do you if you bear hug my calves i'm fine and i'll even say this if khabib bear hugs my calves i'm fine my triangle again just look up my youtube highlights it's ferocious how are you gonna cabine tony ferguson i hope everyone is now taking the Clydesdale fight with a grain of salt now. Listen, man, I'm 1-0 in professional MMA. Rear naked choke within the first 30 seconds.

Saturn is the limit. That is the ceiling on my MMA career had I committed to it. And until I get a time machine and go back and try that alternate lifestyle, I'm not saying a guy like Khabib could beat me. There's no proof.

True. Facts. Hashtag facts. There's no proof, Kyle. Why are you looking down and shaking your head? Look at my highlights, dude. My MMA fight,

my amateur MMA fight where I'm wearing headgear and shin pads and big puffy gloves is on the internet. The jiu-jitsu videos where I'm aggressively pulling guard, sweeping and triangling men. You can see that, too. Aggressively pulling guard. Many UFC fighters do that.

And if I were going to fight Khabib, I would insist I fight him in June, which is a month after Ramadan, I think. He would be weak, malnourished and i would prevail they eat at night the whole ramadan thing is such such a fuck it's such bullshit anyway it's like it's like why doesn't this move his training to why don't you just go nocturnal right just eat it eat all you want at night sleep during the day train i asked uh i had a muslim buddy i worked with at the win and i asked him that and he said it's cheating and it's frowned upon but everybody in the restaurant would get so pissed that because they were i don't know why there were like three muslim people we worked with in our restaurants and they always went down and took a 30 minute lunch break in the height of

service during ramadan because of course in the summer the sun sets at about 9 p.m which is when we're absolutely slammed in Vegas so there was a lot of Islamophobia going on in the restaurant based on their Ramadan eating habits also Connor Poirier January 21st Connor's opened up at a pretty significant favorite I got poirier yeah i got poirier too connor hasn't done anything in like four years i he's fit somehow so he must be training like he has abs and shit like is he just built like that without him working but he just he continuously trains he says that but i mean it seems like he's getting dressed to... I don't think he's getting dressed and sweaty to go on Instagram. Like, he's just there constantly training.

So, what fights has he had lately? He fought the Ghost of Cowboy. Yeah. And then what? The Ghost of Cowboy. I mean, to be fair, it took him like 20 seconds. It's not like he fought the ghost of cowboy and he went around three danny mullen can beat the ghost of cowboy back me up danny

i could beat prime cowboy so yeah i can beat the ghost as well kyle look me in the eye dude you really don't think i could take on these guys what about your boy tony ferguson you really clammed up when i was talking about him last episode he's finished he's lost his marbles after that gaethje left took he he cut weight twice in a row for you know because he's insane um i think when i think when he hasn't depleted himself twice in like a 15 day period um he's still one of the best in the world tony ferguson if you're listening or some of the fans can tweet at him, I will meet you on Venice Beach and I will give you a swirly in the Pacific Ocean, motherfucker. We should continue calling out Wes Watson while we're at this nonsense.

Who's Wes Watson? Wes Watson is this guy who does, he's an ex-con. He did like nine or ten years in prison. And now he's gotten out-con he did like nine or ten years in uh in prison and now he's he's he's gotten out he does motivational speaking and uh he's fucking enormous like like he's he's like super jacked and uh uh one of a guy we know um made a video talking about whether or not he's natural or not whether or not he's on steroids or not and the conclusion was like yeah of course he's on steroids he's enormous you can't be like this if you're not on steroids um like you just can't make this kind of progression in this period of time without being yeah on something and uh i i just made a point of like calling him a pussy

he was a shot caller in a prison and he's's like, if you see him, he's obviously juiced. Like Kyle said, you can't make that progress in that amount of time. No, I don't think it's as an attainable body type. Hardly any humans could look like this person without steroids. Yeah. Here, let me show you how vascular this guy is. Can you read that in a Russian accent, Kyle? Let me see this fucker.

Yeah, I'm leaking it quickly. That's not even pleasant to look at. It's not pleasant to look at, is it? It is, yeah. That's why I brought it up. I was like, he's gross looking. He's gross looking. This guy needs to gain some fucking fat to cover up those nasty fucking veins look at

those squiggly lines between his pecs on his delts he would look a little better with more fat like and he's spent the last decade in a tanning bed it appears his skin's leathery with those ropes and that shitty tattoo he's got across his pectorals it's all awful those are prison tattoos though there's like there i think those are high prestige tattoos in certain climates like in prison yes yeah if he were to go back into prison they would see this dude and be like oh those tats are telling me a story of badassery. Are you just assuming that or is that actually true? Because I'm curious what you have to do in prison to earn a tattoo that's high prestige.

I forget the details, but they... He was a shot caller? He was a shot caller, different club memberships, and the work that he's put in. There are prison tattoos that you earn. You're looking at a high-level, ranked-up prison RPG character. Yeah prison rpg character yeah that's exactly what yes a good way to think about this is the grand mage of white run you're looking at all right he's got all this smithing under his belt he's the leader of the fighters guild the thieves guild uh all that stuff yeah okay yeah i'll add him to the pile of men and animals i I'll beat the shit out of him. Fuck this guy.

You might beat him. Especially in the octagon. Absolutely. I would absolutely beat this guy. Who are you people? I'm a purple belt. It's jujitsu. You're not a Jedi.

No, but he. All I have to do is get inside, get around his waist, take him to the ground, and reduce his consciousness. It's gone. It's the environment, right? is get inside get around his waist take him to the ground and reduce him as reduces consciousness it's gone but it's the environment right like for example west's fault on concrete floors a lot and i just watched your game for 30 seconds so i'm an expert on it i don't think you like concrete very much like just push that i go ahead i pulled guard against a bouncer and and swept him off my back and stay kyle no no no no no no mic back on headphones i feel that's gonna be nonsense i've heard in a long time

in college i wish i wish that i wish boogie were here so he could one-up your badass. Boogie was on our show once. I don't even have to throw down anymore. They just take a look. Boogie, if this clip makes it to you, you were silly with that story of intimidating men. We like you, Boogie. Well, more or less.

But that was just silly. I'm glad you didn't murder that man also kudos you guys really think that because this guy's got some tattoos and gave 30 prison blow jobs to achieve his current status he could beat me get those headphones get back here danny i was never as good as you are but i did like have a fucking people would come in and they're what i called perfect specimens right imagine if an alien race wanted to go down and select a perfect male form they look like that and but if they're new to jets you know they're toys that you have to take, you know, that you can do whatever you want with. It's annoying. I know what you're talking about.

A guy walks in. He was a former D tackle for a college football team. He's just a superior athlete all around. And he's a white belt and he's a bitch to deal with. If it's life or death, even if it's one of those types, he has no way of killing me. If my jujitsu is good, I gonna stay tight to him i can be on my back him on top of me trying to elbow and throw punches eventually he will tire i might lose half a pint of blood getting torn up and bleeding from the asphalt eventually i'm gonna

get on his back i'm gonna get a triangle i'm gonna get a choke and he's done jesus christ we're on this again yeah yes danny you went a little bigger than I did. I'm not talking about some college de-tackle, but just like a, I don't know, like picture Taylor with 18 or 16% body fat. Like that guy walks in and you're like, oh, fuck. He's going down. He really will lose if he's new. I don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah, yeah. And even if he gets a superior position just through like, I don't know, enthusiastic freaking out, he doesn't have any offense. You just sort of let that go for 40 seconds and then work your offense. Yeah, absolutely. And cheers, Taylor, by the way. Perry, I'm a brand loyalist. I was the guy at the gym where they made me take on any guy who came in from another school it was a

higher belt i had to fight him our instructor who's just a caricature of a hyper masculine brazilian asshole he had a pit bull he only listened to deep house music he cheated on all of his wives he's been married like three times yeah he's just a fucking but he was your president they called me giraffe oh poor giraffe oh you're tight in your belt bro apply some me she coming from a different school you know i have a respect it bro go kid go kill me so i did i'm fucking used to this shit khabib ferguson clydesdale ex-prison homo, bring him on. Were you the toughest guy at your school, you think? Fuck yeah, dude. I was not.

Fuck yeah. There was a guy at my school. He was very, everything he did was deliberate. And it was like he would just improve his position on me an inch at a time. And it was always improving, never getting worse. And sometimes I'd even see his plan but i was powerless to take any other path and i don't know

fuck this is this is the way of a master jujitsu player yeah he was just still and and he's like he was i was talking to him like i'm getting advice and he's like, I was talking to him, like, I'm getting advice. And he's like, man, this is what I do. You know, like, I make sure they never choke me because my strength comes from being able to breathe. And I make sure they never do something else. And I'm like, oh, okay, right. Just to just make sure that everything I want to have. You've got to make sure they don't get you in the head. Yeah.

Because most of my strength comes from being able to think about things. Yeah, he was like, I don't know. He's like, always have superior position and never let them sink a choke. And it's like, well, yeah, that's my plan too. I want to know how you accomplish it. You know what that reminds me of? It reminds me of on The Waterboy when Bobby Boucher is doing so well that he's being interviewed by ESPN or something.

No, he's at a top-tier youth football camp where they train up-and-coming high school players. He's like, today we've got a real athlete. We've got Bobby Boucher leading the SEC in sacks. Now, Bobby, how do you get yourself in the positions that you've always found yourself in so you can get the quarterback, take him out? He's like, yes. First, the center has the ball, and then he pushed the ball into the hands of the quarterback. At which time, I begin tackling him, unless he pushed the ball into the hands of another player, in which case I try to tackle that player.

That's really good. That's really good. I try to tackle that player. That was really good. That was impressive. The coach is like, which brings me to my next point. Don't smoke crack. Good job. Wes Watson is still eye-fucking me on the computer.

Keep that accord to the computer. Bobby, you ain't a man at all yeah kyle raises a good point woody you're saying that that guy was telling you his strategy is to never let the opponent sink in a choke yeah or they're like alternative jujitsu guys who thrive on getting choked in competition that's but it was like yeah because as long as i have my airway, I have my power. Like his strength. And I'm like, well, yeah. Your consciousness, too. I know.

He didn't give me anything helpful. No, of course not. Today we're interviewing Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive. Usain, how do you do it? You've got four world records, eight gold medals. What's the difference maker for someone like you? Yes, I run very fast. one foot in front of the other as fast as I can

never same foot twice never same foot twice that was my best accent I've ever done I had a new record a new record when you notice that the opponent is taking ahead of you, you must run

even faster than he has begun to run. That is the crux of the sport. I hate that when you see someone who's really good at something and you aspire to be that good and you're just like, hey man, how do you do it? Tell me. Tell me your secret. And they have no fucking idea.

They have no fucking idea. How do you run like that? You just do it. They're just fucking good. Like, they have no ideas. You're like, you know, if I could run as fast as you, I would know how I'm doing it. Like, you asshole. Yeah.

Yeah. Running's just pure genetic it's it pisses me off when there are half i don't know what like hundreds of thousands of women on the instagram right now on the internet getting rich off teaching girls how to get a big ass which more so even than running is just completely fucking genetic i think personally that's in the same vein as you can do you know squats obviously help like a difference though like like i think like a noticeable difference there's a subreddit where they show like like ass gains and you can see like six months before and afters and it's literally like a

big deal like i'm not talking about you become like you need a new pair of pants but but but it's like oh is it strong that's so much bigger and firmer like it's noticeably better i squat once a week and my ass is so irish and skinny and flat and disgusting and it hasn't changed at all since i've been squatting i thought i had it every so like i have in my head like what my ass probably looks like and then sometimes i see it and i'm like oh it was way better in my imagination i should just not look anymore my ass dent from falling out of that bunk bed is finally starting to go away wait from years ago remember we don't know about your ass dent yeah i said it on the show told it yeah he fell out of a bunk bed he had a really bad bruise i i got i was at my fast forward story i was at like

a this is almost a year and a half ago now i went to a buddy's bachelor party and everybody else was at this big place at lake of the ozarks a big cabin kind of thing multiple multiple beds a lot of fun we were just fucking around the lake going. And I got there later than a lot of the people. So there were only top bunks left. And in my head, I still remember thinking, you know, you should tell someone that every time you slept in the top bunk of a bed when you were a kid at camp, you were always rolling out of beds. Someone will switch. And I was just like, you haven't done that in years. My other thought that I didn't have at the time was, yeah, you haven't done that in years because you haven't been in a bunk bed in 15 years. And so first night goes off without a hitch go to

bed wake up fine next night i go to bed and i wake up on the ground to a deafening sound of me falling and of me having broken the beam i rolled into the protective beam so hard that i knocked the whole panel off it fell on the ground I fell about six and a half feet straight onto the ground, the tile floor, and I landed on the beam, like the little beam, and it was directly on my ass meat. And it bruised me so

badly that, and by the way, I could have fucking died. Like, I looked at the next morning, I looked at this beam that had come out. There were just nails sticking out of both sides that was holding it on there.'t even screwed in it was just nailed in no wonder it fell out so easy when a 225 pound man rolled into it in the middle of the night and i i had this big my entire right ass cheek turned black like not like man it was a rough brute like no it was black deep black as night like a black hole like space and for the longest time i

had an indent in my muscle like i can feel my ass muscle and i can feel an indent where it got pushed into a different shape and like so i just like even when i was wearing shorts like athletic shorts like in the beginning you could like see a dent in my ass like in the way it hanged there and it's just now starting to go back to normal a year and a half fucking later it's still i can feel it but it is starting to fade and so hopefully i'll have a pristine ass cheek in you know another year a little uh back to the mma just a little bit israel out of sonya now saying he will not be fighting uh fighting again this year. He is going to challenge for light heavyweight next year. What? What?

Okay. Touche. But Danny... I was doing the family guy thing. Do you think I can... Alright, taking a step back. I'm speechless on this. I've said many times on this show with grappling, I feel like I have an understanding for who's high level,

who's this and that, not just who's winning at the grappling, but like what they're doing. I can, I can look at a grappler and say, who's good and bad. If I see a medium guy beat a bad guy, I identify him as medium striking.

I'm not like that. I can just see who's striking better, but I don't really see how Israel is so much better than, say, like Gaethje, for example. But people who know what they're talking about says he is. I keep doubting Israel. I wasn't sure he beat Costa. I wasn't sure he beat Romero. I wasn't sure he beat Whitaker. But all the guys who know know are like, he's going to whoop them. Anthony Johnson, this is just obvious to him. Anthony Johnson lost to Israel in training. And he's like, that guy just whooped up on me.

He's good. He's very good striking. And he just beat him. Can he beat Jon Jones? I don't think so. And I really want to see the fight. I really want to see the fight. Jon Jones hasn't looked good in a long time, right?

He's lost two fights recently that he somehow won on the scorecard. Dominic Reyes and who's the other one? Blankovic or something? I don't know. That big Santiago. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Or Tiago.

I forget anyway. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. That's that big motherfucker. The one that broke two ACLs during the fight and still won, in my opinion, three rounds. That guy and then Dominic Reyes both seemed to get it. I thought he lost to Reyes, but I thought the other fight was very close. Okay.

And then he beat the other guy, the white guy that almost lost to a home intruder. I forget his name too. But anyway, Jones has not looked like Prime Jones lately. Not in a while. And Israel is looking amazing. But I just think of him as smaller. He's got to be smaller. They're like the same height.

Okay. Israel's lighter. Israel's like a good bit lighter yeah i that's another thing like chael sonnen has this like brag that i think is cool he's like i can look at a guy and tell you how much he weighs he's like i'm really good i don't mean to go too over the top on this but i could work at a carnival i'm like i like that that's that's a funny brag i'm not that guy especially not on tv like i don't look at Israel. Some people say Israel barely cuts to make 185. Really?

Yeah, I've heard that as well. I've heard that he's walking around at like 186. Then he stays thin all the time. Whereas John Jones is walking around at like 225 something like that i think john jones gets down to 225 and like cuts from there i think i bet he's 225 on fight night and he hits like it doesn't he fights light heavyweight right 205 yeah yeah 205 right so on fight night would be a day after the weigh-ins oh yeah yeah i'm just saying he i think he walks around at like 225 like like and then he cuts down to 205 i think he walks around between fights at like 235 240 oh during training camp hits 220 and then cuts the

last 15 pounds of water so we're talking about somebody who's like 50 pounds heavier at the same height. And has spent a career fighting people at that weight. And never losing. Ever. People think the stylebender's magic. Danny, who do you have? I haven't been keeping track of mma in a long time but yeah it seems like jones

has a lot of mental issues i don't know if you guys heard that during his meanest streak when he was finishing everybody by spectacular ko or submission he would get shit faced the weekend before the fight because mentally he couldn't deal with the pressure. And if he got blacked out and he lost, he would have a mental out being like, oh, I was drunk last week and that's why I lost. And it seems like since his big layoff he had because of steroids. And then now with his lackluster performances, I think mentally he doesn't believe in himself as much as he used to.

I don't think there's any coming back from it. I this guy uh adesanya or whatever the style bender and i like him even more because uh my roommates were saying he's threatening to jizz all over some guy's manager did you see after he beat paula costa he butt fucked him in the ring yeah i love him in the ass yeah yeah that a lot of guys have supported him he's like i think anthony rumble johnson was like dude he talked all that smack leading up to the fight all that fight paula costa was the first one to bring up israel's family he was the one that like crossed that line so what after you guys get into a fist fight he rams his cock into your ass yeah that's life in the big city and and let me let me find this uh this come on the manager comment because if it's true then i think kyle

we might have a front runner for our uh celebrities spokespeople spokespeople yeah that's good we should get usada approved be on the list of allowed sub-mits. We will not be USADA approved. I will be adding a few extra ingredients. You know what? We're only going to get people to give soundbites who have been MeToo'd. That's the only way. Now, sometimes you might notice that your load isn't everything you hoped it would be. Perhaps you might need some PKA load fuel.

Come like a horse. In retrospect, maybe more cum wasn't a better idea. Now at the end of the day, the real problem was there was so much DNA on site, there was no chance I was going to clean it up. I splattered so much on that, I didn't even think to wipe down the lamp on the goddamn end table.

This is great. These are good good ideas i think it's a terrible idea no if we want to start partner with no of course not no taylor it's completely on brand i'm i'm digging it you know it would be really not funny is if we actually did fake advertisements from cameo people and then we really do get a letter from the National Advertising Division of the FDA, that would be bad. So we need to make sure it's known that it's a joke. If we even move

forward on this. This is in the thought process. I mean, look, all Derek has to say is, yeah, what do you want in it? What do you want the bottle to look like? And then we're good. Oh, man. We'll pull package designers from our own audience

because I don't want to send this idea to any of the people I know in the industry. I'm sure Derek probably knows someone. I don't know. I like his stuff. It's got that fucking angry gorilla on the bottle. Yeah, he has good graphics. He has a good look to

his products so i just want a big like like a like it looks like spider-man just like like like blew a big splatter right on the bottle yes uh what do we want so many good ideas taylor are you writing these down you always write Yeah. Yeah. I've got it written down. I'm ready. I'm going to do some research and see if there's already a stack out there for this. It doesn't come prepackaged. It does not come prepackaged. No, if it did, I'd be on it. Poor girl.

Plumping up on high protein. I think these four compounds are good, and then there's a couple more things you could add. I think you're solid at that point. Then drink your water. Yep, got to hydrate. Lock and load. That could be one of the items.

Lock and load. Might be the PKA's lock and load. Perfect. See? Oh, man. This is good. What's on the comment box? Would you pay?

I don't know. For the lock and load system. You know, I feel like $39.99, get a you get a 45 day supply that seems fair something like that yeah that's it's like less than a dollar a day for supplements that's on the cheap side if anything right i had 49.99 for 30 pills maybe it should be 50 pills right like at 49.99 50 pills i don't know i don't know something like that it'll have to be there's no way each bottle comes with a free chamois oh some kind of gimmick like that

a branded goggles we'll sell goggles separately that'd be funny if our first two products were load enhancement and goggles goggles load enhancement goggles squeegees just all sorts of things you need to clean up messes oh man i'm excited for this my gears are turning i'm gonna be sleep i'm gonna be thinking about

this as i'm like trying to fall asleep tonight i think we can also add something to help flavor your semen i have some ideas for that. This is a genuinely good business idea. It totally is. This has legs. And they always say, don't use yourself as an example. This is going to get my sexual consent app off the ground. Yes.

You know what? I don't think we should tether our two ventures. Shit. I was hoping you guys would help that liability issue. Outsource a little bit of that. Take the pressure off of me. You're being a real lefty right now. I don't know. Flavoring of the cum, that's a good idea. Increasing the volume.

They should come in chewables like Flintstone vitamins, and the chewables should be shaped like pineapples because they're rumored to make your cum taste better. Rumored? You haven't tested this out? I'm not obsessed with jizz like these two assholes, Taylor and Kyle. Dude, this is a supplement company. We're not testing anything.

Is it kiwis? What is the green strawberry called? Oh. Kiwi and strawberries. They're good. Yeah, anything that's real sweet, high in sugar, I guess. And that's cheap. We could sell sugar pills. That's literally what I think it would be. Sugar pills.

Fructose. Maybe gummies. We've got Chinese laborers just pouring gummy bears in their packaging and putting it in ours i want them to use those john jones mixing fucking bins though i want a little torrenta ball getting mixed into well i want people's t level going up believes any conspiracy theory right like a dominant 205 pounders like i didn't use steroids. The reason I tested positive for steroids is probably Mixing Bin in China had steroids

in it previously, and I was just taking vanilla powder. That's exactly what happened, Woody. Yeah. I think you're just a racist. You're just a racist. I think Joe Rogan will just believe

any conspiracy theory you run past his desk. He does. He believes we landed on the moon. He didn't used to. He got there. True. True. Is that true?

Is that his official stance now as he believes it? Yes. He now believes the moon landing is real. That's cool. He's a big man to have come around like that. He had me on board. I would tell guys in my fraternity in college all the time that we didn't land on the moon i was convinced wait you were genuinely convinced or you were trolling my thing no i was stupid and genuinely convinced and my thing was

that we just developed rocket technology like two decades earlier and it just seemed gnarly that we could get out of the atmosphere however many fucking hundreds thousands of miles to the moon 250 000 miles 280 000 miles to the moon shoot off a little landing pod that didn't crash landed perfectly on his legs eject buzz aldrin and neil armstrong they ride a golf cart around get back on it reconnects with the mothership and then goes back to fucking florida it seems insane It does seem insane. Honestly, the craziest part of it to me is that lander part.

The fact, the fact that they not only landed, I can, I, I, it's almost unbelievable that the lander took off from the moon and then docked back with the, the other vessel and then returned to earth that, that leaving the moon and docking again

seems impossible why is it so like 1960s tech yeah i don't know i don't understand what's so hard about it well you only get one shot for one thing right like elon musk has been trying to like get his shit to land upright for for years high gravity environment like it's trickier it's windy and it's great there's no wind there's low gravity it's that's he's playing the game on it is a much harder thing to do of course it's 60 years later yeah but the moon is recruit mode right and space docking there like it there's no winds blowing you around it's just ease it in it's a simple math problem what if you get lost what if what if we take off too early or something?

What if he's not in position? What if we're just floating up there? Like, where is he? That would be my fear. Where is he? And you call him, right? You're like, hey, where are you? And he's like, I don't fucking know.

Right, right. I see a lot of stars. By the black spacey stuff. Down below, there's the moon. And above there's some stars. Do you see me? Well, you're the size of a Volkswagen. So, fuck no.

I don't see you. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too ignorant to understand all of the math that must have gone into it. That's good. Nah. That ain't it. Nah. That's probably so well. understand all of the math that must have gone into it that's okay you know all the russians too because their space program they had a lot less premium on human life so i'm sure they're horror stories a bunch of cosmonauts named sergey they just got launched out into space so they're like ah we lost contact with this guy well he's dead they're absolutely as is everybody on the guy sergey sergey gagarin gargara is that one of them i was right i think gagarin they got a really cool

statue of him in russia it's really neat yeah he's fully engulfed screaming yeah it's his final moments the artist took a direction nobody's expected clawing at his flesh shouldn't have played this game they have a quote below on a placard please god let it stop please god let me die a little asterisk careening towards the earth jesus christ yeah i watched the documentary once on these italian radio enthusiasts from around the time of the space race and they have transmissions of a bunch of russian cosmonauts begging for their lives and dying in russian up in space they do i i've heard that debunked but i've also heard i've heard both sides

of that because you think we didn't do that you think no no i don't believe we did because every time we had a failure it was big news and we had a lot of failures we were bloat we were exploding like the soviets were the opposite they would have failures and they'd be like um actually we're not going to launch and for another months. But you said you were launching yesterday. No, the earthquake you guys all felt yesterday, that put the launch off. Really? Really? What was that mushroom cloud we saw?

That's also from the earthquake. Hey, where are the astronauts? Sergey was going to talk to us today. He is on vacation because of the earthquake. He went to hell for failing. He went to hell for failing the motherland. Whereas every time the Americans failed, it was like, we fucked up again. We fucked up again.

Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I think we went to the moon. That's a conspiracy that never... I mean, I did it for the show, I think. That was one I did. Yeah. But it didn't,

that one has never sucked me in with the interest meter as much. Fox had this thing when I was like 12 where they were doing like a moon landing hoax, kind of like primetime show. There was like an hour long. And when I was 12, I was pretty convinced we did not land on the moon. But obviously now as an adult, it seems almost, i'm almost positive we landed on the moon yeah i would bet we landed on the moon there's just more interesting conspiracies to look into like even like 9-11 is more interesting than the moon landing yeah i agree maybe it's because of the timing where it's like i was i was around

for 9-11 or kennedy the kennedy assassination is one of the most interesting to me that's a good one yeah it's hard for a lot of conspiracy theories because it almost feels like there's an effort to put out the most absurd stuff about some things where it's like alex jones level nonsense where it's like you know thermite paint and uh there's thermite paint on the inside of those buildings. I was a Navy SEAL. Like, that's what, you know, none of that stuff holds up scrutiny, you know? And so, like, all the attention seems to go to the absolute kooky nutjob stuff and not anything more. But I also haven't done due diligence on that one.

Yeah, Tower 8-2. But that was game four, so they have to win one more. Nope. Yeah, it's a to win one more. Nope. Yeah, it's a seven-game series. It's not a five-game series. That's correct. Yeah, so you've got to win one mile, and then you're in the big finale. But hey, they still would have to lose three in a row now

in order to lose. Still got to lose three in a row. And it's not quite over, but it's almost over. Yeah. Didn't they have a huge lead in game two or three maybe in game two they had a big lead and they lost some of it uh but they still won by what what was it eight seven i don't remember exactly okay but yesterday it was one by one or two 15 to nothing at one point yeah i got got really uh shellacked yesterday yeah it's a it's

a it's a good year for Georgia sports. We got some great news yesterday. Nick Saban of Alabama has the coronavirus. He was the head coach of Alabama, kind of known as the greatest collegiate head coach in existence, maybe ever. He's fundamental. He's vital to how they play ball.

And he's like 74. And he's got the coronavirus. I wonder how, and this is coming from a position of ignorance, how important is the head coach on game day? Right? The head coach, is he just a manager who hires the right offensive and defensive coordinators? In the case of college, maybe a big part of his job is recruiting and

like getting the new players in but like x's and o's and making sure that players run to the right place does the head i think he's the guy i think he's the guy i think he's the guy who's you know the week before he's he's looking at the opponent and and figuring out who needs to be double covered deciding um you know when when they when they show us this look, we need to send an extra man, we need to blitz, figuring out everything. I think he's the guy. I think when it comes down to the nitty-gritty and the X's and O's and taking what he wants and formulating it

and getting it down to the players, I think the offensive and defensive coordinators are key. They're the guys who are doing that, who are taking what he wants done and making it happen. I'm reading this right now. I, the impression I get, this is,

I'm holding up a Bill Belichick book. Does it seem like, yeah, it seems like the coaches, they either come from a background as an offensive or a defensive coordinator. And that's their focus, either defense or offense. So I'd say the head coach is probably 75% invested in whatever coordinator background he came from,

and then he trusts the coordinator on the other side of the ball to make most of the creative calls. It seems like Josh McDaniels designs most of the plays for the Patriots on offense, where Belichick is the defensive master who shuts down whoever they face. I just looked it up. Alabama has lost 15 games in the last 11 years total. That's absurd.

It's very good. That's just absurd. That's so few games to have lost since 2009. That's such a long time. It's hard dealing with Alabama. They're right next door. I wonder how many of the Bulldogs have lost. Well, 11 years.

I don't know if you've been super duper good for 11 years. Super dominant for 11. But you've been super dominant for at least five-ish, right? For five, yeah. I wonder if you've lost more than like seven games in the last five years or so last five years probably lost 10 or 11 i don't know yeah georgia hasn't beat alabama since september 22nd 2007 wow is uh kyle's georgia the school the superstar quarterback college recruit kid?

Who am I? Trevor Lawrence. Who am I thinking? Trevor Lawrence. Georgia has so many five-star QBs, I don't even know. I don't know. I can't keep up with them. Georgia literally has like six five-star QBs or something.

I wonder if the players are that much better or if they're making players that much better. Does that make any sense? Like, like let's say you and I are parallel high school quarterbacks. I wind up at NC state and you wind up at Georgia. They might turn you into a future Superbowl winner. Whereas I'm not at that. Oh,

maybe what we mean by five-star though is like, like that's, um, that's what they're rated coming out of high school. Right. But there's like, I don't know how many five-star QBs like that's um that's what they're rated coming out of high school right but there's like i don't know how many five star qbs like that one position alone is but i bet there's like 20 maybe i don't know either right so what's the difference between them is that you pick the right five star guy or some force guard or even three stars can outperform some of the

five stars what is that right there's someone on there telling a player how to grip the ball what to look for their elbow position etc you know and that's kind of what i was talking about with the head coach too right like where does their responsibility end there's choosing plays and then there's some guy teaching an offensive lineman how to grab the other guy's jersey you know so not to get caught but still to control him or whatever and And Nick Saban isn't doing that personally, right? I guess. Yeah, they have position coaches. Right.

And they're in the trenches teaching them how to grab a pad or grab a jersey. I wonder how much of the head coach's job is just as a manager assembling the right team to make all this happen and how much of it is actual stuff he says on game day that helps them win yeah that's what i thought came in regardless of which it is it's clear that like he is the reason for their success like like he's that that winning record is just stupid that it's just stupid every year they're incredible i'm with you i'm with you like so i'm

not intending to talk about politics but there have been successful presidents who hardly did anything themselves instead they put an all-star team together and you know they made a successful organization and there have been other successful presidents who are you know literally the mvps of that team instead of just the guys who assemble it and run it. And so when I think about college, like, ah, how much of it is... Anyway, I've made my point now. I think, Woody, a lot of it is culture, too.

So if you have a coach who doesn't take shit, he's very disciplined. If you do something stupid, like, say, he's a fucking offensive line coach and he's getting a bunch of offside calls or his guys are undisciplined like that guy is gonna become a head coach with a bunch of undisciplined core people underneath him and he's probably gonna make a shitty head coach and i think the culture a lot of that is molded by the coach and a great example right now is belichick whose team got gutted like nine guys

opted out with coronavirus they lost tom brady they lost one of their best linebackers and they're still fucking great because their culture is just so good and the same thing's probably going on in alabama and i think a lot of that comes from the head coach good thought how's tampa bay doing this year they're doing pretty well but there's still problems with the organization like they're undisciplined the coach is a fucking drunk and they like lead the league in penalties they get a shitload of penalties huh okay i'm glad that you knew i'm just looking up i haven't been paying close attention yeah they're they're dangerous but their special team sucks and they get flagged all the time they're three and brady was screaming at dudes on the team brady was screaming to people last uh

last game against the chicago bears because how many penalties they were getting really he's not accustomed to goofball or being surrounded by goofballs i guess exactly yeah because of the culture the falcons however are uh oh and four uh buccaneers are leading the nfc south um and then the falcons are what would the word be for at the very fucking bottom in a pathetic position that seller dwellers seller dwelling the nfc south oh and five nice oh and four i believe um it's on my screen. Oh, God. That's right. There's an out-of-conference game I'm not accounting for. And, you know, fired their coach,

fired the GM. Just awful. They're talking about getting rid of Matt Ryan, too. I heard. They pay him like $26 million a year. Something like that. He's one he's like top five paid qbs and leagues something yeah i don't care i'm never gonna watch the nfl again

anyway it's fine it's fine yes it's fine i haven't watched a super bowl since we lost that 28-3 right right but that's what it takes you know make another super bowl run fairweather will be right back on the bandwagon no no i would i i'm literally never going to watch another nfl game ever the rest of my life is it you know you haven't watched a game since that no i haven't watched a game damn we were me and taylor were sitting there right next to each other uh and i just remember taylor being like at halftime being like, good for you, man. Like he was genuinely happy. He does that.

He's so good that way. Yeah. He's genuinely happy for me. You know, if his team isn't winning, then he's rooting for yours. He's a, he's a good friend.

Good, good, good fan to have around. Good for you, man. Like, like, you know,

he appreciates what it's like for someone, someone's team to win a championship. At the time I didn't know. Yeah. And all the more you're more, you're like, I wish my team was about to win a Super Bowl or a Stanley Cup or anything. He was like, good for you, man.

You guys got it all wrapped up. And I just remember being like, we're playing against Tom Brady. It's not over. It's not over. That's Tom Brady. And you're right. It was not over.

It was not over. 28-3. And we not over. It's not over. That's Tom Brady. And you're right. It was not over. It was not over. 28 to 3. And we seemed over. And we sat there. And I'm glad I had copious amounts of weed, or I would have probably gotten upset. What if we just switched to magic with you sitting facing away from the TV? We went and played cards. And I didn't look back at the TV until I looked over and I saw fucking Tom Brady fucking celebrating with a bottle of champagne.

He's making out with his sons, doing one of those three-way kisses where the tongues are just wagging. And Bill Belichick is fucking jerking one off over there watching. And just Matt Ryan was somewhere just crying, I guess. When did you know? I just linked something and it's someone tweeted at me and said someone said the most Philly shit ever

and the person's accent sounds like it's always sunny in Philadelphia when Dennis starts talking like he's from Philly and he does that voice. This guy's that dennis's voice sounds so silly just people from philly sound like that so and it's a funny little exchange this guy's being let go on his job site and he has a little retort so i'm ready i'm excited for this you guys ready ready one second i'm pulling it oh thanks for telling me uh i just clicked it i'm sorry that sounded sarcastic i was actually thanking you for telling me so oh wow yeah let me know when

you're ready i'm queued up at zero all right danny you good danny yep ready set play and uh sorry i gotta do this but uh here's your two checks really yeah man firing why it ain't working out we tried everything we could but we gotta let you get there. Alright, whatever. Alright? No hard feelings, right? Yeah, yeah. Just to let you know, I know the real reason.

What's the real reason? Because every Friday I go to show and tell and get a lap dance by your fucking daughter. That's why. You know, I don't need to hear that fucking shit from you, man. Really? That's why I'm getting laid off. It has nothing to do with my fucking work. You know what? Grab your shit and get the fuck off my job. I am. And guess where. Really? That's why I'm getting laid off. It has nothing to do with my fucking work. You know what?

Grab your shit and get the fuck off my job. I am, and guess where I'm going. Guess where I'm going. Show and fucking tell. Oh, I will. I'll enjoy that fat ass you got. After work. Meet me there.

I got to... All right. He needs it, too. He's like, meet me there. I'm sorry, man. I let you go go it's not working out enjoy that fat ass she's got that was so funny that's a good tweet oh that was a good time and that person sent tweeted that to me he's like you know I don't need to hear that do you think he knew oh yeah I don't need to hear that well he knows where his daughter works but I think that it's not the reason he got fired like i don't need to know it's not the reason he got fired probably not but it's probably just not a great worker i'm gonna go down there and enjoy that

sweet ass she's got badass badass she's got i want to see the daughter now i want i want to go to show and tell the way he said i gotta let got to let you go. It's not working out. It's almost Australian. It seems like they're joking. Yeah, it's like a bit. But it's not. That's how some of those people sound. You're going to fire me in the middle of the goddamn day?

Boston's the worst. Boston is the most ugly accent I've ever heard, I think. Boston is a rough one. Coming from the South, too. I've heard heard, I think. Austin is a rough one. Coming from the South, too, I've heard some real gross accents. Some people just got that drawl and said,

get it all up here and it's crazy. And some people just sort of like, mouth up, go down the gap, get a little tick about it. And you're just like, what the fuck are you? Then you'll head down and get a

gas station and grab yourself a fucking goddamn sleeping bag. So I went to Show and Tell. It's three out of five stars. I went to the Show and Tell website, which is showandtellwith1l.com and they took it down.

Is it show and tail? Like a tail? No, it's T-E-L with one L. That doesn't even make sense. I'm guessing show and tell with two L's is taken. I can check that. That's a children's website where people just like have virtual

show and tell. I got that. It's something about digital. Oh, show and tell. I got fire trip. It's something about digital. Oh, show and tell. They're like digital signs on Times Square and stuff like that. But with 1L, it's a strip club. And they took the site down because I wanted to see that dude's daughter. It's a damn shame we can't see her.

Right? I'm not. I imagine the staff comes and goes all the time and that the website wouldn't be current, but I'm just making that up. These are the most absurd reviews. I heard some sleazy stuff about this place. Those comments were wrong. The most beautiful dancers and lay fees, puff,

entitlement are at this place. Puapapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapuapu Ethnic, sib, culture, stories, and stereotypes. Blah to full women at this establishment. Blah to full women. I saw a different review. It was like foot fetish, yay or nay? Yay. I got herpes from here, from Mike Lassiter, the racist guy with the high water jeans. These are good reviews.

I'm giving this one star because of the racist guy with the high water jeans I'm picturing him it's fucking gross I've only ever been once the girls are kind of beat up looking it was fun trying to throw the ones into a cup that the girl just shoved between her ass cheeks

but the lap dances aren't private at all they just go off to the side of the main stage and keep their clothes on. It's pretty lame. I went here after leaving Risque and it was an overall step down in quality. It is impossible to do a terrible Philly accent without it becoming Quibble Cop after six words.

Philly accents, that's one that I've never heard in real life. I've never met somebody that talks like that. People have that in South life. I've never met somebody that talks like that. People have that in South Jersey. Yeah, I haven't spent a lot of time in South Jersey either. No accents like that. Boston is ugly, though. Boston is an ugly, rough accent.

It's low class, uneducated, and urban at the same time. Dude, this guy, Mike, people do not like his pants. You got a second review on Lasseter? Sure. He's got the highest water. One star. Deserves no stars.

Not even the girls give this place a bad name, but the staff. The counter guy, Mike, had a douchey attitude and his pants are too short. Flood drove it, sweetie. So next thing, this guy, Mike, has a douchey attitude and his pants are too short. So next thing this guy, Mike has a douchey attitude and his pants are too short. Floods over, sweetie.

Out in the floors. This place safe. Don't get me started on the body fluids in the back rooms. I can't imagine what body fluids. They hate Mike's pants. There were five years between those reviews. Oh, this was a good... This ended up working out. This was a cool ending bit.

Oh, man. Have you played any more Vermintide since last night? I played a little this afternoon afternoon just trying to grind up my my character i think i'm like level 26 now and so i'm getting close i had one guy on there i just hopped on because i was trying to just max speed grind it out through like a couple recruits because i'm waiting till i'm higher level to i just wanted to bang it out get xp you know and so i did online play or quick play. And at one point, I was just

sprinting through the levels. And I was with people who were pretty high level also. And I was like, oh, we're all here on recruit. We're all just grinding levels. Let's just fucking sprint through. That's what I thought we were all there for. This guy refused to come in to the area where you ring

the bell to summon the rats until I came out there like typed a message to him because he's like, I don't like that. Nobody is, uh, I don't like when people don't communicate and it's all like in the, the text thing. And I was like,

this guy fucking sucks. No, just come to the place where I am. There's no reason to be getting all of the health potions and trading off. You're level 35. I'm a level 20. This is the easiest map. It's on the crew. We don you're level 35 i'm level 20 this is the easiest map it's on the crew we don't need any items we could win this with the base weapons

and he like made me come out there and he was like writing like yeah you should really i hate it when people don't communicate i was like dude let's just go let's go hurry up and he's like come out here and get the tome and i was like bring the tome in here and he's like i can't bring the tome in there if i have the health i would think a level 26 would know that and i was like bring the tome in here and he's like i can't bring the tome in there if i have the health i would think a level 26 would know that and i was like this is the last part of the fucking level and you have full health you're a level 35 tank dwarf just come in here and eventually i just i went out there picked up the tome came back in immediately left that lobby afterward that guy was a fucking bitch getting getting mad at me for it like jesus christ and then it was like the best little final thing ever because the entire time

I was handling the whole map. It was one of those, like you described, Kyle, at one point, you're like, yeah, one time I had more kills than everyone else. I think I had 450 melee kills and they all added up to like 220 because they were just fiddling around looking for books and tomes and they were taking... I could have

played three other games in the time it took me to do this. This asshole not coming into the rat house. So who did you rank up? Your dwarf? No, my, the flagellant guy with the mace. Oh, yeah. I got to do a skin for him. He doesn't have cool helmets, but it got like nails nailed into his head now.

Look, I hate my guy. Like, he's so slow. i can't keep up with the group and that's frustrating i mean i'm walking forward the whole time and like kyle's guy is super fast and he's like a block ahead of me it's not even the same game um and then he i don't know it didn't shoot like he shoots well it does a lot of damage but you're so low on ammo all the time. You know, you get like 30 shots or 16 shots and you're always conserving them for more important shots. He's kind of unfun. It's unfun to be slower than everybody. You don't get any kills because you're in the back of the group.

Everyone's dead when you get there. Start grinding up that fire lady. She's pretty quick. Yeah, she might be more fun. But yeah, I don't know i was just trailing behind the whole time not seeing anybody if i did get there it was like the toughest like you know chaos where you're still alive um oftentimes speed bonuses yeah there's a bunch of speed bonuses i had one i had one i i changed my like amulet and had a speed bonus and i'm still

the slowest just not the gap closed yeah i'm trying to learn the button combos they're hard to memorize but uh but i'm getting better at it yeah that game's a lot of fun yeah i saw a guy on youtube who was particularly good they used um i guess his elf power up was like to go in shadow mode where everyone would ignore him. So he'd go in shadow mode. He'd walk through the crowd. He'd slice him in the back, which would sort of get the power back. And he could do that and solo any map on any difficulty. What might have been the YouTuber I've been watching is called The Party Knife.

And I hate him. But he makes the best videos and most and the most high effort videos but every video is preceded by this like three minute clip of him with a really shitty webcam just making awful jokes and sitting in his room and he's just like what's up guys it's time for another i'm just like fast forward fast forward fast forward fast forward let me get through this i just want to know what buttons to press this could i don't even need a video for this i just need a piece of paper that says like like left right left left left right left right like that's all i need but i can't fucking find it what is this that you're doing these button combos um well you've got you've got like three attacks in a block so yeah um if you time them

right then you can decide then you can um you can cancel attacks and you can um uh preempt attacks so that you get better crowd clearing or better armor piercing or just faster attacks in general you can fire like 250 times you can fire your guns 250 faster if you just tap R fast enough between shots. But with a sword and a dagger, if you just spam left click, then he goes through the whole combo. But that's not ideal for anything. It's just kind of like a get-it-all-done kind of thing. It's like fast attack, wide attack wide attack poke attack or something like that but if you do a button combo you can just you can go wide wide wide wide wide and it's but so

that's better for crowd clearing or if you're dealing with like an armored opponent you can do uh you can chain together power attacks uh much faster than if you were just spamming to watch them play it's it's like they're playing a different fucking game yeah this guy was like that too yeah i thought i had leveled up more characters i don't know maybe my memory's faulty that happens this guy's doing way too much math and charting yes so much math mastery guide just tell me yeah when to swing the flail and when to hit dodge and that that's it that guy does so much math dude i'm sitting there and like i'm i'm really interested in what he's talking about but i'm still just like fuck just tell me what to do yeah exactly i don't need the equation

i i you lost me five minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, on the other hand, do you know Noice guy? N-O-I-C-E guy? Yeah. He's a YouTuber. He makes Tarkov videos. Some other games, but he's like 70% Tarkov. He is super respectful of his viewers' time.

He talks fast. He never explains his motivation for why he's making this video. He just says, hey, guys, today in Tarkive News, this is what's new. The developer said that, whatever. There's a new podcast out next week, and he'll speak in English. That's usually the big one. And like I'm saying it, super fast, tells you what you're there for, and then the video ends.

They're often three minutes long. I'm like, I never miss one. Yeah, it's the opposite of the way you describe your guy well danny we really appreciate you coming on yeah thank you you want a pimp or plug before we close this episode out um no not really i just the youtube channel danny mullen that's basically it and check out Busboy Buggery over on Pornhub. Yeah, Pornhub, Busboy Buggery. Are you making money? Did your Pornhub channel get like...

No, zero money off that. It's not even ours. We heard that it's dangerous actually to upload the video on your own because they need to verify their age by multiple sources of identification. So if this girl was for some reason lying to us or she'd forged some sort of document, we could be in trouble. So we just had the couple upload it. But no, I think the only plug I want to make is for you guys

in the jizz stack, the PK jizz stack. Lock and load. If we can arrange some sort of... If I to fight a clydesdale before new year's i'm willing to do so we'll make it a big event perfect just keep posted cock and load yeah i can load okay don't worry i got in the i got a name document i think i like lock and load more because cock is likely to get like we can't put that in a video title. That's true. You're right.

We got to be thinking about the marketing opportunities. I don't think it was going to be an e-commerce product. I don't think we're going to get new retail placement, but what? No, Taylor, that's part of your role in this business. You're going to get as good.

What do we need you for? Can you imagine if I got us into CVS. What do we need you for then? Can you imagine if I got us into CVS? Yes. Yes, I can. I've already imagined. I want to be in that sketchy part of the gas station countertop. Yeah, Taylor, we're more of a Rite Aid business. I'll reach out.

I'll put out some feelers. All right. Listen to this. How about Jizz whiz the jizz whiz yeah that's our mascot's name hey i'm the jizz whiz he's got a hat and everything he's like our sham allow guy yeah exactly he'll look like the philadelphia fanatic but his fur will be all stuck together. We could have a whole Ronald McDonald cast.

Like, this is bleachy and spermy. I'm excited about this business. Wait, why is bleachy there? What does bleach have to do with cum? It smells like bleach. Oh, yeah. Cum smells like pancake batter to me. You must be delightful.

We need your diet. We need to know which ingredient gave you the pancake batter smell. I would love for my cum to smell like pancake batter. I don't mind to smell like cookie dough. I think it's my cum. I think it's my own. There were a lot of people there. That's fine. All right.

That's a show. PKA 513.