Painkiller Already - PKA 514 - Oklahoma Cannibal, OnlyUseMeBlade Update, World's Best Awning

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

painkiller already 514 most likely just the boys i'll show maybe someone on the back half we'll see we'll see it'll be a surprise for us too surprise for everyone is brought to you by postmates blue chew and the national highway traffic safety administration we'll hear all about those later but for now kyle you had some news that you were chomping at the bit you have lancet i had to resist talking about it on pkn because i felt like it was more of a PKA topic. And then obviously we played games, I think, that night too. We played some Vermintide. And I really wanted to talk about it then because everybody was coming to me from the 50 Discord talking about this stuff.

And sending me links. And we were all just having a real good laugh about it. And a few tears. A few tears as well, I suppose. From laughter? From sadness. From sadness. From sadness. From genuine, oh no, what's happened to him?

Not coming from you, though. This sounds like bullshit. Blade was on the show and he said that he was sober. I haven't cried since 1994, Taylor. Since 1994? I was eight the last time I cried. That's when I watched Where the Red Fern Grows for the first time, and since then, just not a drop.

Well, that doesn't count. Because I'm a man. Yeah, okay. So anyway, you were crying. I was crying. So Blade. Only use me, Blade. I like Blade.

I really do. We all do. I watched him for a decade or whatever. Just such chill Call of Duty commentaries back when that was a big deal. Every one of us enjoys his company. He was this cool little addition to the like Cod community where there were the guys who were going for like montages. And then there were guys who had like, you know, daily commentaries where they blow shit out of the water. And then and then Woody and a few other guys had these really cool, like educational sort of like almost like if you don't have a dad this is a guy you should be watching

kind of like like stuff where he's injecting some knowledge into call of duty that's outside the realm of gaming and then there was blade there like doing this chill commentary and playing the game in a way no one else really did it was cool and we all admired that and blade and you know we met him at a few conventions chill guy seemed real cool let me hit his blunt one time you know not nice guy now obviously he was on the show several months back and we were talking about how he was cleaning up his act getting his alcoholism under control his health under control he'd had some issues with his legs hospital wasn't he like he was talking about the hospital people were saying the man might lose a fucking leg you know i think he was losing some teeth as well and it was looking grim and he was like you know i'm cleaning my act up the real

truth is i don't have an alcohol problem i've got a streaming problem and the stream wants to see me drink but we're gonna change that we're gonna we're gonna do something different we're gonna try to entertain them without poisoning me paraphrasing that didn't work out no workout so i've got some uh some links here uh first of all here is a uh here is a fairly current photo of blade oh he got a haircut he got wait what's happening i love that reaction oh he got a haircut like he got a nice little haircut no someone shaved the motherfucker's head i'm sure while he was asleep and they've written on his head something that that's now there's an i and a p written up there it looks like there's like a piece of paper like you pick up a piece of gum wrapped around his front teeth there we're gonna get to that later this is hardly fair kyle he is much younger in the left photo if you were to do this

to me i wouldn't look as good as i did 10 years ago either you have all your teeth though i got that going for me yeah you have all your teeth and your head hasn't been shaved by some hooligans on a bus you saw jackie cut my hair like it wasn't too i shouldn't be throwing stones wait a goddamn minute you're on the blade path it's just not quite as steep as it's mine you better watch out next thing you know you're gonna have a swastika on your head like he does in picture number two here um apparently he fell asleep and someone gave him the old charles manson swastika on his forehead man the mouth closed versus mouth open huge improvement of

difference huge improvement keep it closed keep it closed yeah he's he's really like a dentist can probably save that right like but it'll be so fucking expect like teeth are not one of those things you just let by the wayside like it will just get worse and worse and worse okay hold on a second i'm i'm looking more closely now i saw a blade tooth picture a few weeks ago we started to talk about this in the pre-show but i didn't think they were teeth it looked like he had something stuck in between his teeth or there was maybe gum on his teeth. I thought, oh, well, this isn't fair. He has some dentine in his teeth and people are misrepresenting it to look like his teeth have gone in a really south direction.

What am I seeing in these two front teeth? Well, here's the thing. I have two videos that tell a bit of a story. I have two videos that tell a bit of a story. Now, I'm not sure if they tell the story that I'm going to tell, but I'm going to tell it nonetheless. So here's video one. Let's all queue up on this. Speaking of the Blade path,

do you see how he has half an eyebrow on his right side, left of the screen? Yeah. Jesus, you know it's not a good photo when I didn't notice that at all. Blade also rocks the half eyebrows even in the um early picture his eyebrows are heavy centered focus another parallel between blade and woody dude we're i've got eyebrows for all three of us two peas in a pod blade and i all right i'm ready to watch this all right so this is a reddit oh it's a pka subreddit

all right all right can i watch this on stream or should i just watch it yeah this one this one's all good to watch on stream there's no okay genitalia out or threats of rape i have that as well jesus christ he has a tooth emoticon. I kind of respect it. That's pretty fucking funny. Are you guys ready? Yep. Set, play. Oh my god.

Go for it. So he's fallen asleep. He's passed out. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh wait, what is that? He pulled his teeth out. They took his teeth.

No, no. They took his teeth out? it looked like a folded piece of paper am i crazy they stole his teeth no i'm getting to that i'm getting to that so can you play was for the audience who's not watching video you degenerates um blades passed out on the couch and they've already painted his face blue like fucking william wallace from braveheart and then they i guess they conspired to steal his fucking teeth out of his mouth so one guy holds the camera another guy reaches in and pulls the man's fucking chompers out of his face and then they holds them up triumphantly like a like an outfielder who just robbed a homer i stole his teeth from the past so here he is talking about talking about that

like, you know, maybe a day or so later. Again, this is a narrative that I'm telling. So he wasn't even making money at that point on the stream. Oh, he makes money while he sleeps. Blades figured out passive income. Another parallel between him and money. All right, I'm ready to watch

this one. This is safe to watch? Yes, this is just conversation. It's important to listen to what they're saying. Alright, ready, set, play. You're a blade always. Do you find your teeth? No, but I made backups. Let's see.

Oh, wow. You made backups out of chickens? No, out of chick? No, not chickens. How do you lose your teeth, Doug? Because I chicken my teeth. But I have backups. How do you lose your teeth, Doug? That's just like, you lost your fucking teeth?

So if you didn't pick up on that, guy number one, who actually seems like a nice person, he's the nicest person from that 30-second conversation that I think is anywhere near Blade. Hey, did you find your teeth, dog? And he gives him a little fist bump. And he's like, no. Because I made backups. But I made backups. And he's like, what, Like out of chiclets or something?

And Blade just goes, no. Not chiclets. They only had juicy fruit, so I had to fold it. That's why they look yellow. Do we know? I was going to go with spearmint, but that's just off-putting. It just burns.

They're just two Tic Tacs. He's about to fill in the two tooth space. There's six Tic Tacs there. You look like a fucking millipede mouth. Do we know what he's making teeth out of? No. Nobody knows what he's making teeth out of. Nobody knows.

But I saw them. It looks like there's some sort of, like they slide on his teeth stumps yeah like a clip-on almost if you look at the previous thing and pause it around seven seconds you can see it looks like a little taco yeah i ran into all right no i didn't i had a friend who ran into a tree while he was skiing and he knocked a few teeth out and what they do is yeah you're right it's just a little plug thing in it. But it usually attaches to the teeth on either side.

So I think his replaced two teeth and so it clipped onto the fourth and first or whatever. I don't know what he's clipping it onto because it doesn't just stay there. It has to be clipped to adjacent teeth. It's a taco. It clips on what's left of his teeth, just clamps it from the bottom.

Okay. So here's another image just to give you an idea of the sort of depravity that goes on. Who's renting them Winnebago's at this point? Blade! He's renting? His card's at the counter? Yes. That's what I'm told. That's what I'm told. Again, look, I could be wrong

about some things and I fully admit that. I'm going in. This is what I've been told. I don't watch Blade. This would actually make me... Is this the image we're meant to look at now? Yeah, I sent the image there of him covered in packing peanuts, face painted, passed out. They've shaved just the top of his head

at this point. I'm sure he shaved the rest and not look like an insane person later on, or less insane. And they are, of course, pouring water. I think to assume that that is water is a fool's errand. I need to know who this cast of characters is. Are these other streamers that he often he would just kind of stumble into groups.

So what I mean, what do you need? What's required to be called a streamer to be on? If you're on a stream, are you a streamer? If so, then yes. These are other streamers. all right they seem to be a group of degenerates that he has that have magnet uh coalesced around i was imagining like the old ice days where i could picture him going out and be like hey dude you want to come in and pour piss on my friend? No, dude, it's fine. It's fine, dude. I don't know. I'm picturing like a Shark Remora situation, right?

Where it's a synergistic relationship, but clearly the shark is the guy who's really benefiting all the people around him, right? Like the Remora might help the shark a little. It's a 90-10 situation. Is that what Wings... I'm sorry, Wings. Is that what Blade has going on here where he... These guys are just

leeching off his fame is he the most popular guy there oh i would say so okay i mean he's what you come to see you know he's he's the guy he's he's definitely the draw so is that an expensive watch no of course it's not i don't know i don't know what you're looking at, but I'll just say no. It's not. It would have been stolen off his wrist at some point. The one with the jug. One with the jug. That's very true.

One of those people would have stolen off his wrist. I can't even see the borders of that. Did you open it up? It just is a big gold watch. It looks like... I don't see his wrist. It's under his face yeah yeah if that were expensive they would have taken it fair yeah okay that's a that's a 40 watch i would i would wager although

you would think they would even take a 40 watch after seeing some of the other things they've done to him so i'm waiting on one more link um where he threatens to go with rave but i'm not getting it so let's just go to the coup de grace. It happened again? You know, it was one of those things where, like, you know how, like, maybe an audience might ask the guy they're watching for, like, his greatest hits?

Everybody's like, yeah, do the do the Macarena! Come on! Come on, do it! Do the Macarena! And whoever the fuck that Macarena guy is, he's got his own, he's got, like, four albums since then, and he's just like, I it. Do the Macarena. And whoever the fuck that Macarena guy is, he's got his own. He's got like four albums since then. And he's just like, I do not do the Macarena anymore. We do not do.

Let's go to Macarena. Fucking goes into it, starts doing the fucking Macarena and everything. And they go wild. All right. Well, I guess the stream, there was a very cute girl on Blade Stream. Maybe the cutest girl that's ever been on there she looked um african-american or maybe mixed she was uh she was this light-skinned black chick really cute like like that that was that was what we all took away from the video that all of us they were watching it together in the in the 50 patron

discord where how why is there this super cute girl sitting next to blade on a couch and then somebody chimes in oh she's a meth addict and i'm like well it's it's it's been kind to her right she was slim right she was not she was it's not that she was all that i mean she was she looked slim but like she also looked like you know an attractive girl like she had button boobs and like a really pretty face and she's sitting next to blade and when the clip comes on he's like all right he's he's at a 10 out of 10 all right i'll do it i'll do it okay i'll do it and he like looks over and he goes have you ever been raped would you like to like he doesn't even wait for the response like there's no timing anymore. He's just like, have you ever been raped? What'd you like to? He's just rushing through the bit.

And she's just like, the fuck? And he's like, I'm just kidding. Fist bump. And then someone in the back goes, don't fist bump for that. Don't fist bump for that. Don't fist bump for the rape. He just threatened you with rape. Don't fist bump for that. She's just super the rape he just threatened you with rape don't fist bump for that she's just super uncomfortable clearly so this last video we have

to watch without you guys we'll react to it and we'll tell you what's going on and i'm sure you could find the video if you looked a little and maybe after woody sees it for the first time he'll he'll be like oh yeah we could have showed we could show this but i don't think so well then if you don't think so probably not this one's a little longer this one's a couple do you want to queue up yeah this one's two minutes uh and 30 seconds long um i know i could skip forward you know save you 40 seconds i think so go 40 seconds in yeah let's go 40 seconds okay good i'm sorry 40 seconds yeah let's go 40 seconds in yeah let's go 40 seconds okay good i'm sorry 40 seconds yeah let's go 40 seconds and we save a little bit of the like nonsense i think

and and while you're watching this take a look at the disrepair of the rv it's stressfully dirty yeah so i can actually show that to everyone. We've got some blinds here that are damaged. I don't know what this tube is, but I don't think it goes. Oh, is it maybe to the washer that's pulled out, the dishwasher? I don't fucking know what that tube is either. I've never seen one of those. They got Blake from Workaholics on the stream. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Yeah. He's a cool guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's expensive to rent an RV. Have you guys ever tried it? I was taught,

I was looking at one for a friend who's in Australia. He was talking about coming to the U S for six months and doing like this tour. He's going to have to fly. He said, he wasn't going to RV to here to RVs in the water. Okay. Yeah. I think i think you know that though when he got here he was looking at maybe getting an rv and touring the united states and it was like it was gonna be like 12 000 no more than that it was thousands and thousands of dollars

for six months of rv like it was many thousands of dollars like close to 20 yeah the point where it was like you just buy a car dude wow just buy a fucking car you could buy like a used rv and sell it afterwards and do much better yes or yes that or just you know start renting it to blade because pretty soon normal rvs aren't going to be renting to him so i'm at 40 all right I'm good. Ready? Ready, set, play. All right, so these guys are, I guess, doing laundry? They're making beds? This one guy seems to be... This guy in the foreground, he's got that I'm about to pee pose. Oh, he's peeing.

Oh, and Blade is under the blanket. I see. He's not done. He peed on Blade's head, but Blade was protected by a blanket. Wow. He's coming back for more. Yeah, it didn't look like a full pee to me. Apparently this guy's name is Demon.

Oh, he's peeing on Blade's face again. Yeah, he is going to empty his bladder on Blade's face. Someone else is going to rent this RV. If any of you are out there looking to rent an RV, burn this image into your mind and don't get this one. So, wow. Now he's just sleeping in a piss-covered blanket. I like that he's washing his hands after.

That's cool. It's really disrespectful to pee on someone while they're sleeping. Is it? Wow. Now he's just sleeping in a piss-covered blanket. I like that he's washing his hands after. That's cool. It's really disrespectful to pee on someone while they're sleeping. Is it? I hear where you are, but, like... I would go so far as to say rude. Like, not to do politics, but, like, you know, 30 years ago, they hid a statue of Saddam Hussein with the bottom of their shoes, and they said, in this culture, that's considered disrespectful.

Fuck off, dude. Blade wants his pee blanket. a statue of Saddam Hussein with the bottom of their shoes. And they said, in this culture, that's considered disrespectful. Laid once his pee blanket. They were gonna pull the pee blanket off. And it was like, yeah, I guess the bottom of shoes is disrespectful in every culture, but there are levels to disrespect. Pissing on a man's face. Good God. It's universal.

It's the peak. You're covered in piss now, dude. You're covered in piss now, dude. You're covered in piss now, dude. Who can sleep around these people? No, no. Clearly you can't. You certainly can't pass out around them. Yeah.

All right, so he just lays there covered in urine for God knows how long. It's over now. Yeah, that's how Blade's doing. He just lays there covered in urine for God knows how long. It's over now. Yeah, that's how Blade's doing. He seems to be going through a real rough patch. I just got linked to this one video that's called Okay, here's Oh my God, why are there so many?

Many videos of peeing? This one's called OnlyEasMeBladeThreatensToRapeChildrenWhileHeSleeps How can How does he tell you to do that yeah yeah that's an idle threat you can't threaten to rape while sleeping this one's called only use me blade grapes laura on the rv trip and this one's called only use me blade caught raping a passed out girl question mark question mark wait wait is that an old one we that was the one at the back of the RV, and we talked about that I feel like a year and a half ago. Let me watch a little.

He's talked about that on the show here. He has, and he dispelled that. Oh, wow, those teeth. Oh, dear. You've got to go to a dentist, man. A dentist? It's a new dentist. He's far.

I feel like a dentist would be like, this is above my pay grade. You need to go to a reconstructive oral surgeon or something. You're probably right, actually. All you get at a dentist, or all he'd get, is probably a referral.

You need to go to a doctor, rip your whole mouth mouth out and install a new one from a cadaver. Yeah. Wait a minute. It just occurred to me. Right. Remember that guy that hooked boogie up with all the new teeth? Right. Yeah.

That's that's in company. Oh, yeah. Sherman Williams. They did a great job. Now, wait, wait. I'm on the other side of this. I will. I will grant you that'm on the other side of this. I will grant you that they're not 10 out of 10.

But I think people forget he had 17 teeth before. He's supposed to have 32, I think. Yeah, and the lisp is very becoming. And I still believe it was a huge upgrade. People just move the goalposts on him. They're like, oh, those aren't as great as great teeth. They move the goalposts on him they're like oh those aren't as great as great no you're right it's definitely an upgrade from 17 teeth it's just like i remember i went and i got my like he got the real deal veneers like the heavy duty like they're not veneers oh i thought he got or no he got like full-on implants no yeah they bolt into the into the bone right yeah i'm wrong so

so like the the prestigious thing to do would be to get implants and that's where each tooth is secured you know individually like they put a new chomper in there and they drill into the bone up there and they put that put a tap in there and then they screw the tooth in and it's all connected. He got one big fucking chomper thing put in and it's secured in there. It's all one piece. It's one piece but it is also bolted into the jawbone. It is that, yes.

Yeah, I think we're on the same page. That way no one can steal it. You don't want it falling out while you're eating. A bolt spin out, I'd have welded it. But that's just me. Fuck, I don't want it falling out while you're eating a bolt spin out I'd have welded it but that's just me proof implants now

I just know when I got my fake teeth like my like I don't have what he has it's not drilled in it's just composite shit over my teeth that like I got it done and the next day I was like looking at it and the guy like had left too much composite on my two front teeth and I looked absurd that day I was like I'm coming in he's like well you need to make a follow-up appointment it's like no you need to

grind down my front teeth I do a podcast on Thursdays this needs to be taken care of now like today please please and he's like okay so I went literally he took care of that for me to make it look more normal but that took me 18 hours after seeing it and like i was talking to my girlfriend i'm like you don't think it looks ridiculous she's like no i think it looks good and i'm like you're you fucking liar i look like i could chew through a tree you're just like i love you too so much going to the dentist though my dentist i'm really i have a great day. So I am, I chipped my teeth. This is not the recent time, but before that, I bit a fork again the first time. Anyway, I know, right?

Slow down is right. I get to. It hurts so much when you bite a fork. I'm not pretending like I don't bite forks. Oh, I thought it was only me. I thought it was genuine. I've bit like three forks in my life. I've bit two, but I might do it harder.

It's awful. You ever bite your finger and shock yourself at how hard you're biting when you're actually eating? It's quite frankly excessive. Yeah, I do two things way stronger than I need to do. Bite things and stand up. Ever hit your head and you're like, why do I stand up?

Where was I trying to go? Did I think it was a launch sequence? I stand up with so much power if i if i can channel this in the gym i'd be squatting 450 it's like i'm one step below jumping getting out of the chair but yeah my dentist takes such good care of me he's like you know like when i did have a chip that day i was in that oh i called it night you

know or whatever but like you know i call and i get the like little emergency service i saw him by lunchtime the next he heard what you did to the last maybe that's it i have a reputation and the last time i didn't really lose any tooth but um i had pain i was like i don't know how bad i hurt myself because it hurts days later. And they're like, yeah, man, you need to press that emergency button. You hit it. And anyway, I just love my dentist. That's all.

That's all. So we're looking at Blade's teeth here. And quite frankly, before I put this picture up, as bad as these teeth look, these are the good old days. These are the good old days. Yeah, how old is this? Because there has been... This is February 11th. It says February 11th next to the view count.

Yeah, February 11th, 1997. Oh, my goodness. 1997. Is this eight months ago? It might be. That might be around when he was on the show. Yeah, I think this is eight months ago. Do you guys know something about teeth that I don't?

Do you know why? Because to be honest, the bottom half of his teeth look okay to me. That's so much to have for eight months. It's a part by the gum that has degraded. And look, again, I don't know. I'm not a dentist, clearly. But maybe it's because up by the gums is where the food gets stuck. Yeah, and that's plaque and tartar and stuff.

It's decayed from the top down. Because it would make sense if the bottom of the tooth is the cleaner part. It looks like he's been chewing on ball bearings. Do you get things stuck in your teeth in the front teeth? Sometimes I do in the molars. You're eating hot wings or something. Like some sort of meat.

God knows what it is. Yeah. I have a problem where my front teeth press together very hard, right? Normally you have a good arc. In the bottom, you can see they're like split up. And did you guys know, I think I told you, I'm getting braces. Yeah. We talked about that.

Yeah. Invisalign. So it won't be like part of the show, but... That's a shame. It would be funnier, but I don't need that kind of heat so i was here on tiktok that she was like everybody's always asking about my braces they think they're so cute let me show you what i do she doesn't have braces she's super gluing fucking like cheap charm bracelets to her goddamn teeth. It was so

cringy. She gets done and it looks like she's got braces. She has super glued a little thin charm bracelet across both of her teeth, top and bottom. And then she's connected the rubber bands too so that when she opens her mouth, she's got these crisscross rubber bands at the corners of her mouth. And she's like, everybody says

they're so cute. And I'm just like, everybody been lying to you for a coon's age. It's absurd. I think it was on DIY. On Reddit. Apparently they can make my teeth perfect in about 15 months.

So, you guys will be like, the pandemic's over. What's with the mask, Woody? And I'll be like, we don't know yeah really you you missed the ball on that one yeah i should have been like march march 10th you should have been going maybe almost done well not really but i could chunk in be further along i hate dentist stuff i fucking hate it i hate going in it's well i hate sitting still that long well you've never had to sit still as long as i have for like tooth stuff i fucking hate it i hate going in it's well i hate sitting still that long well you've never had to sit still as long as i have for like tooth stuff i would imagine like how long

yeah uh i was i think it was like 9 30 in the morning till like 3 34 in the afternoon that's absurd to to get all the was there an intervention say it again did you say nine to three yeah it was like six hours it was it was an enormous amount say 9 to 3? Yeah, it was like 6 hours. It was an enormous amount of time to be sitting there. I was so hungry by the end. Yeah, I had a TV, but I was watching local news on mute. I couldn't focus

on anything other than the fact that when something new is introduced into your mouth, you feel it immediately. Even the tiniest little fleck of food, you're like, oh, that's fucking there. I know exactly where it is. I gotta go get it. when someone is doubling the size of all your teeth like i'm laying there for six straight hours stressed as fuck because i'm just like i can barely move my tongue around in here because the way they start is they just block a bunch of shit up there and then they start like shaving it down and everything and it got smaller over time but it felt it felt

awful like i remember going to chick-fil-a right afterward so like you can eat right now and i was like having trouble chewing like because my teeth now lined up correctly and i was used to like cross mouth chewing the way i had my whole life it was it was like a weird probably like a cow does like the way they like do their bottom and top jaw like this yes yeah i ate like i chewed cud because my teeth lined up exactly on top of each other and so there was no i there was nothing to do i was so self-conscious about why about how i ate like in high school and everything you're chewing like a fucking ventriloquist puppet like a fucking ventriloquist i was chewing like a holiday nutcracker basically and i once I was sitting like, you know how these things stick with you from like high school.

I was sitting there like eating lunch at a table with my friends and one of my buddies still good friends with them to this day looks at me. He's like, why the hell do you eat like that? And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, you're fucking chewing. Why you chew like that? I was like, I don't know, man. And so I still remember that.

I remember going up to the next class like, that rough this this is a massive blow like i've been doing this in front of everyone forever i look like a retard apparently i had it worse i uh so what is the tmj something muscular joint in your jaw do you know this joint no okay so you're the joint right by your earlobe where your jaw goes up and down and the acronym for it is tmj and uh i had this weird problem where um if i took a bite out of something big like a hoagie subway like type sandwich that it was incredibly painful so what i would do is i take my two fingers to my lower jaw and like dislocate it like a snake at which point i could eat big things and uh like as a lifeguard my daily meal was like a turkey and cheese and mustard sandwich in like one of these subway rolls yeah hoagie

and i'd just be like look a little left left, look a little right, dislocate, eat the thing. And then, you know, like... Did you have to like pop it back in? Mm-mm. Just closing my mouth would put it back in. So I had to be careful to eat in such a way that I didn't... Like if I closed it all the way, well, fuck, now I have to pull it back out with my fingers again. Oh, snake.

Like a snake. And it would make a really really it would make a sound you probably wouldn't hear it even if you were next to me but of course it's like in my ear like i can hear it click back in place or thud back in place so yeah i just like low-key did that i went to an oral surgeon about it and uh he basically said like we can try and fix this with TMJ pain. There's a low success rate. And the way they fixed it involved Teflon. There was, like, a high suicide rate because it leeches into people and makes them, like, pay.

And I was like, yeah, let's. So one thing he suggested, he's like, let's look at the foods that cause you trouble. It was, like, steak, large sandwiches, mostly things you had that were like a little more challenging to eat. He's like, why don't you switch to bread? See how that works. And yeah, so I made some lifestyle changes. So I didn't have like hard to chew things and it got better in a couple months. So you still can't eat a Subway sandwich?

I can now. Yeah, yeah. But I'm like wary that if that were to become like a daily diet change, it could go back. Yeah, you don't do that anyway. It's mostly sugar. Yeah, right. It's not real bread.

It's absurd to read that their bread isn't legally bread in some countries. Ireland, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it tastes like shit. It's pretty awful bread. Wait. Subway is what Kyle's talking about, right? I don't like you, Taylor. Oh, I don't like shit. It's pretty awful bread. Wait. Subway is what Kyle's talking about, right? I don't like you,

Taylor. Oh, I don't like you. No, I Mr. Bread Connoisseur over here. Subway bread's not good enough for him. I remember going in the first time they introduced the Asiago cheddar bread. I was like, that sounds great. And I must have ordered during the great cheese famine of 05 because there were five flecks of cheese

on top of it. I had half of mine to burn that establishment down. You were just expecting the whole top of the sandwich to be a big Cheez-It. There was a huge sign that said Asiago cheese and the picture was coded. The top of that fucking sandwich is covered in goddamn cheese

and that wasn't enough cheese for you? It wasn't this time. They put cheese on the inside of the sandwich as well. It was the great cheese shortage of 2005. Tell me something, Charlie. How much cheese would you say you eat on a given day? I do need to slow down on the cheese. I got my blood tested and my cholesterol is a little high. Really? Was it?

Yeah. Are you serious? I talk all the time about how many deli meats and cheese. It's not a bit. This is how I live my life my cholesterol is fine i'm pushing 50 taylor i have like a family history i'm being how many blocks it's not it's not that high but it is a little high was it in the green range no it was just out of the green range so it was you know it said like as you go through the list everything it's like you know liver kidneys vitamins they like they'll like fine

fine fine good good good good good good triglycerides and cholesterol a little little in the danger zone there so we need to we need to back off so i need to make some different decisions about deli meats and cheeses about uh eating eating red meat five times a week not the best not the best thing i've it's weird it's like i guess i can't eat whatever i want all the time anymore people eat red meat in the vertical diet i've been watching youtube videos about it i haven't made the plunge yet but um one of the challenges with diet is there's a little to it getting educated you know if you want to do it right i guess and some of these diets it seems like if you do it 80 right that's not it no no no you can't just like go eat you have to

like when you went on like make believe keto yes i i guess what i was actually doing was just kind of eating a little more healthy but like they're like tomatoes that's sugar that's not keto that'll end in ketosis ketosis ketosis thank you and um i was like tomatoes or sugar like fuck they're not even that good and you consider them sugar balls i i went into diets bullshit into the the deli meat section where I get that stuff. And this was after the test. And I got the little result.

And I was like, I've never looked at the back of these packages. And I went in there and I looked at the information on some soproseta. And I was like, this can't be true. This is an outrageous amount of cholesterol. It's like serving size three pieces. Who eats three pieces of deli meat? You eat the package until it's mostly gone. And then you convince yourself,

this isn't even enough for a sandwich. I may as well finish it off. That's how you eat deli meat. That's how you eat deli meat. Well, at this point, it would be rude to leave this roast beef behind. That was my favorite thing about the Sopranos. I was like, all right, all right.

But then I was like, all right, he's not a beacon of health, Tony. Can you watch Tony? You're like, I've been living my life by this man's code. I've made a terrible error. I really try to avoid food that comes in plastic.

If it comes in plastic, that includes Cheez-Its, that includes deli meats, that includes... If it came in plastic, it's probably bad. Well, no, you go get the good stuff. Like, you go to the actual deli and have them, like, slice stuff up for you. Yeah, the stuff in the wax paper, that's good for you. Yeah, maybe

that's not a great example, but yeah, if the food comes in... No, it is a great example, because the deli meats are not good for you. Taylor is just... I bet there's other ones, like turkey can't be... Is it turkey a little bit? Like, if you were to have turkey... For sure, turkey, that's barely even turkey. I don't know. Is it turkey a little bit? Like if you would have turkey. For sure. Turkey.

That's barely even meat. I've never out being like, I need a snack. Went and got slices of turkey. It's always like fatty. Like I like turkey a lot. Like, like I like,

uh, I like really thinly sliced turkey sandwiches with like lettuce and tomato. And I like that, but I wouldn't just want to eat a piece of turkey. You know, like you can eat just like salami or stuff like that, but I wouldn't just want to eat a piece of turkey. You can eat just salami or stuff like that and it's delicious. I like to eat the turkey. I like to eat pieces of turkey. I really do.

I get fancy turkey, though. Like Cajun turkey. The house ran out of trail mix a week ago. You're about to see Adonis Woody emerge. Lifeguard Woody coming back 2021. I don't remember the last time I ate trail mix like i don't understand the either i don't like it that much i've yeah and i i feel that way about like taylor's weakness foods like i so a lot of it i feel like is this like

normalizing deviant behavior right so trail mix for you guys perhaps you see it and you're like what no no the like enjoyment calorie perspective is way out no that's not it go go i see it as this weird obscure food that i wouldn't even i've never seen anyone else eat outside of like boy scouts when i was seven um to me it's like if you had a mike and ike's problem that you're like you know i got a real mike and ike's problem we got all the mike and ike's out of the house we look through all the covers all the we got a good and plenty thing going on i went from the attic got all the mike and ike's out of there jackie's car was full of mike and ike's so i went in the glove box got those got my secret stash of the gun vault those are gone too gun vault. Those are gone too. Now I'll admit, I do have

a small baggie of Mike and Ikes in my pocket right now, but that's me telling myself I'm in control of Mike and Ikes. I get it. All right. But I still think the normalization of deviant behavior is kind of on it. You see trail mix, you're just like, that's not even a food

that enters this cathedral. But I turn my nose up at Cheez-its and and i think it's just a little easier for me to like look down on them because the the like cost benefit ratio for me isn't that high i look at cheez-its i'm like that comes in plastic it's just like cholesterol salt what's your favorite part of the trail mix because again i literally haven't seen this shit since i was a child but but i do remember that it's like five things mixed together yeah m&ms is definitely a high point that mine is m&ms it has like a something in like

a milk dud family and uh and a salted almond and something about the sugar and the salt together. You know, this is like an alcoholic. This is an Almond Joy bar you're eating every day. This is an alcoholic talking about why Jaeger is so good. Like, oh. That's different. Kyle, I take a bite and then it just warms my insides. You guys know that.

I can just feel my teeth's tingling every bottle i feeling of hearty warmness and yeah no that uh i think really what is the sugar and salt combo that you don't get in too many other foods sweet and savory name something else that's both sugar and salt i mean i mean there are foods that do that but there's nothing that's like naturally just salty and sweet chocolate covered almonds are just pretty much exactly what you're talking about. I love those. Yes, I bet I would, too. But I'm too good for those, Taylor.

I don't put that kind of junk in this cathedral of a body. Here's what you might want to see. I'm going to go eat a half pound of cholesterol salts. You're going to have London broil. Who's going to be laughing when you're looking for another host? You ever have London broil? Who's going to be laughing when you're looking for another host? London broil, the steak.

If I have a heart attack before you... The whole reason I got it tested is because my dad had a heart attack like a year and a half ago. Not like a serious one, but he had a stent put in. He's like a little seven-year-old. A little like... Fucking watch it, dude. And he's like fit and does... So that was like part of it oh a little you i thought you were talking to kyle just then you're talking to yourself watch it dude like

be careful yeah yeah yeah like that's what he got a little alert so very disappointing very disappointing that i can't eat whatever i want all the time my weight loss because uh you know, you know, you know, a food is bad for you when you refuse to look at the back of the package. Like all like cutups, like a bunch of Gouda or like the meats and everything. And like,

I get like, so I get so excited for that. That's my favorite snack. And it'll be like half of like a mini wheel. It's like, I'm not going to look at the back. Dude, I'm not going to do that.

When I was still smoking weed that was like our favorite thing to do on uh like like like a movie night um what's your reboard our charcuterie board yeah i would get this really fancy it's called um it's this blue cheese that's like spicy it's got like like some sort of peppers or something in it it's called like wildfire blue i get that blue cheese and like like five other the fanciest cheeses that ingles have to offer which surprisingly they've got a really fancy cheese section ingles is a supermarket yeah yeah i guess they're regional and uh and uh you know some a couple of like fancy crackers and then like three different kinds of like fancy meats i remember

chis sent us some like italian sausages one time or something like yeah sort of meat logs so that was part of it that was a that was around the time and god that had to be like 3 000 calories a board or something like that just huge amounts huge amounts of just cheese because you we eat half a block of cheese yeah in one sitting and it's like wait a minute we ate half of three blocks of cheese in one sitting just now and half of a meat log of indeterminate origin i was like i don't even know what kind of meat that is was that horse oh i'll be such a delusional bastard when i'm doing that where i'm like but look no crackers look at mr keto here you're just eating fat you gotta have a little or so little uh the crackers are the most are the

best part to me you gotta have crackers i like i prefer the crackers but if i've just got meat and cheese crackers i'm literally watering at the mouth to the point where it came out when I said what kind of crackers. It's like we're talking dirty and I'm masturbating. Can we pause the episode and have a mini meal? I like the variety.

Sometimes I feel dirty. Put the salami on your nips spread it all over that cracker i like all kinds of those crackers like those uh those water crackers the ritz ones i like all of them i don't like the kind that's got a bunch of black pepper all over it no fuck that that kind sucks or the kind with poppy seeds all over there for some reason don't care for that either they go just i mean poppy are fine, but they think that people love poppy seeds.

We think it's something exotic. Like, ooh, la-di-da, poppy seeds. Yeah, but no. I don't want that shit. That gets stuck in your teeth. You've got to go brush your teeth after you eat some of the poppy seeds. That's true. And you'll fail a drug test and then have to go convince your boss. I've been told so. I like Ritz.

I'm a big fan of Ritz. They're kind of buttery. Yeah, you can't go wrong with them. I haven't had them in ages. Again, they come in plastic, but they're good. You would make a terrible astronaut. Yes. That's for a lot of reasons.

This is all we have. I refuse to put that in my book. Guys, I'm really sorry. I get lost super easily. It doesn't matter. Wow, down to nine pounds. That's right.

I don't have a weight problem. I weigh like 80 pounds on Mars. Big fat fuck on Jupiter, though. I wonder what it would be like if you went to the surface of jupiter right because um it's a gaseous planet so at what point do you like when you just float you'd fall in but at some point is there a solid core is there a solid core i think i watched some sort of sciencey Neil deGrasse Tyson. Would I be standing on a solid core eventually? I know I might die, but let's just work without that.

Would I stand on the solid core or would I find that the density of the gas is somehow enough to float like water? You'd get to an equilibrium in there way before it got to the density needed to turn that gas into a core. And so like you would get down a bit and then I guess it it would be dense enough to equal So there's such a thing as gas as dense as fluid, as water? I guess. Because water's about human density, right? I guess it would depend on what kind of gas it is. Because the density of

some gases would make them turn into a liquid, while others would not. I want to keep talking about this for a while, because it is hilarious how out of our depth... What kind of gas would not. I want to keep talking about this for a while because it is hilarious how out of our depth Oh yeah. What kind of gas of Jupiter? I think it has

a solid core that isn't the core is hydrogen? No, it says Jupiter is mainly made up of hydrogen and helium. Yeah. I think it has a solid core though. I think I read that. I think they all do. I think it has a solid core, though. I think I read that. I think they all do. If I read it, I watched it on TV.

What happens if you stand on Jupiter? I'm looking at that, too. So if you weighed 100 pounds on... This is a horrible article. The gravity of Jupiter's surface is 2.5 times the gravity of Earth. So if you weighed 100 pounds on Jupiter, you'd weigh 250 pounds on Jupiter. I read that correctly. Oh, this would not be fun.

So it says far beneath Jupiter's atmosphere is a gigantic ocean of liquid metallic hydrogen, which would look and behave like mercury, except that hydrogen has 60% the density of water. So you would sink for tens of thousands of kilometers to reach a hot, molten, rocky core that's possibly solid. Oh, so we'd get all the way to the core. Yeah, eventually. Parts of you would. Yeah. I want to work past the whole death and dismemberment thing.

How long does it take to sink tens of thousands of kilometers? Like years? No, because you're not... That's only a couple of miles. You're thinking in miles. That's fucking with me. They're not it's only a couple miles you're thinking in miles it's fucking with you they're not the same forever no you're going quickly you're falling but you're not falling through like free air you're falling through like increasingly dense semi-liquid hydrogen metallic fields i close the article. Something like that. I mean, how about the bottom of an ocean, right?

I don't know. Me either. Oh, it says Jupiter may have a solid core because it captured a comet or a temporary moon and sucked it in the middle. Cool. That's neat. So it did what we were talking about. Now it's stuck in

the middle. Maybe that's where the alien That's where they want us to. Isn't that the best place for us if earth doesn't work out europa which is one of jupiter's moons i think it's jupiter is it saturn i don't think it's the best place for us at all but it is they they do think that it's one of the best places in our solar system to find life or the titan maybe because there's that well neither of those places would be good for us because they're so far away but i think they're uh they're saying that those are good places to find life because beneath the core of Europa is liquid water, they believe. It's like an ice moon. Yeah.

I'm still outside my depth, but I've heard Neil Tyson DeGrasse say that too. How close did I come on that name? Nah, you just juxtaposed them. Neil DeGrasse Tyson? All right. Someday. Nailed it. Getting close.

So it's pretty much our only hope, Mars. We gotta try and fix Mars. This is our only hope. The planet that is closest to habitable turns out to be Earth. What happens in like a thousand years when it's like really fucked? It'll still be better than Mars.

Much, much better. If we have the tech to turn Mars into an Earth, then we probably have the tech to turn a bad Earth into a good one. That's it. The problem would be like an event that would just destroy the earth right like like an asteroid impact that's what you're really that's the real thing pushing people to mars or the idea of going to mars would be to prevent that although like just living on the surface of mars you're dealing with an enormous amount of radiation there's like enough that

it's no it's not healthy i have to wonder if a spaceship would be better than mars like you just said like it like a cruise ship you know like like you could live on a cruise ship comfortably for a long long time could we not get this spaceship to grow food and either harvest or have some sort of giant energy source like nuclear that just lasts for a long time. The halo from halo. No, I don't think so. You know,

I mean, do we even, cause like, even like in halo, you know, you see it, the, the,

the halo, that seems pretty cool, but that's, it's, it's too big. We can't make that. Make a little one. Make that.

Make a little one, spit it faster. You get good gravity. No, I can't make that. Make a little one. No, we can't make that. Make a little one, spit it fast, you get good gravity. No, we can't make that. Why is it not a good idea to make a halo? We don't have the materials to make it.

Says you. Yeah. A little bit of stick-to-itiveness, put Elon Musk on the case, and we'll be... Did NASA make a gigantic announcement yesterday about the moon? NASA said they were going to make a gigantic announcement yesterday about the moon? NASA said they were going to make a gigantic announcement. Because they like

when people pay attention to them. I guarantee what it is is that they have more evidence that there's water on the moon. Which we've known for a while. It doesn't seem very wet there. I mean, I've seen it. It's kind of dry and dusty

it's not liquid water well it's useless what do we do with that solid water throw it away get it out of here I even have a telescope and the moon is the thing I'm best at finding.

It's true. For me, it's just fun. Another sunny day. I'll find it right away. Just got blood dripping from your socket. Actually, looking at the sun am it seems super interesting to me because i see these cool pictures and i i wonder if you can see the flares but the amount of equipment that it takes to safely look at the sun is outrageous i remember this just popped into my head after years i

remember this kid that i was really tight friends with in grade school. He was a little bit of an odd duck. I never – I haven't talked to him in – For me, it's the son. That's a good lie. 13, 14 years or something. Probably almost 20. And I remember once we were out playing recess, like playing football, whatever we were doing, and for some reason he just goes, Taylor, Taylor, look at this.

And he just goes – and he just goes he didn't challenge me to do it too he didn't count he just like look at this Taylor and now that man's our 45th president me and Trump we were tied like why are you hanging out with this 9 year old

you're 58 oh the last debates are tonight. Taylor, I know I owe you 100 or I will. I do this thing where I wait until it's, like, totally sure. An example is I think I bet Kyle $5 that some Conor event wouldn't have 2 million buys. And the preliminary numbers came out, and it said there were, like, 2.1 million. But I was like, I'm going to wait until the official numbers because I don't want to do a weird thing where I'm like,

now you owe me 10. So when the real numbers came out, I lost that bet, and I paid. So I'm like, let's just wait until Election Day to make sure that they don't do another debate and be like, actually, Taylor, now you owe me what I owe you. I don't think they'll add one. I don't think they will either. You might owe me another fiver because Justin Gaethje is going to beat

Khabib Nurmagomedov this weekend. I used to think that. I used to think that. But what changed my mind, I watched that Firas Zahabi talk about it. And one of Gaethje's big tools that, in interviews anyway, he says is the key to his success is the leg kicks what he wants to do is destroy khabib's ability to get takedowns by kicking his legs if you kick the guy's leg suddenly they're half effective and it's really hard to get those takedowns

but um there's another school of thought that low kicks are just gifts for takedowns. And he's going to grab an ankle, push forward and he'll fall on his butt. So we'll see. Yeah. I liked what he said on that. He was like,

if I kick could be five times, he won't be the same anymore, which is a great line. I saw Chael Sonnen talk about it though. He's like, if he takes you down once though, and you know, and then it won't be when,

when Khabib takes a guy down, he has a special knack for keeping him down. A lot of guys bounce up, but not against Khabib. And he's like, if he holds you down at the end of that first round, you won't be the same fighter. You'll be like, oh, my goodness. When I go down, I can't get back up. He just punches me in the face for the next four minutes, and it's terrible. So now I need to fight differently. I need to be so defensive i can't kick any go ahead i'll say this like watching the the interview i don't know if you saw the on the beach press conference with dana

in the center and khabib and like they were like khabib what does this mean to you how important is this he's like i don't know you know my goals i don't know to be undefeated i, you know, my goals, I don't know, to be undefeated, I guess. You know, I have a lot of goals. I don't know. Justin, what's this mean to you? It means everything to me. When I was a child in this poor town two hours from anything, our vacations were going to get school clothes.

If I win this fight, my mother can retire. She's been working hard for 40 years. She was the one who drove me to the wrestling meets all over the country give it all she had give it all she's got my father worked in the coal mines and like could be how motivated are you you're not pretty motivated and justin's over there just seething with fucking passion i don't know i think justin just wants it so much more whereas khabib is like yeah here we go again i guess so my dad my dad died and i still kind of bummed about that i saw i've had that same concern you know i guess for you it's the excitement for me it's concerned um i saw khabib he's like fight island

it's terrible there's no energy here. There's no fans. You do weigh-ins, and it's all alone. There's no cheering. There's no nothing. And he just seems like he's hating this process. He's at kind of a low. And he hasn't even started to do the real weight cut yet.

The real weight cut happens kind of today. He's like doing it tonight. Yeah. For people who don't know, they typically weigh in Friday morning and then they fight Saturday night. So it's Thursday night as we record this. So right now, they're in this world

of hurt. They're transitioning back and forth between hot salty baths and jogging with a rubber suit on. I think they don't jog anymore. They lay down in towels like the idea is to lose weight without exercising so you're not as worn out on fight day but um but yeah it it's awful he may still need to do so it depends how the weight cut's going right how it's coming

off khabib has missed weight a bunch of times and i can only kidney spell once right right so i can only infer that he has a harder time making weight than an average fighter does so uh anyway right now they're in a world of hate and gaethje was doing better even before the cut it seemed emotionally we'll see you know thus far no one on earth has looked good against khabib so yeah that's what at one point Dana said. He's like, how many rounds has this guy lost? And Justin's like, one, just the one. And it's like, yeah, he's lost one round ever. And I think it was round two to Connor.

He's one of the most dominant sports athletes on the planet. I really hope he gets knocked the fuck out though i would love that i don't like him yeah what he's boring oh he's got no sense of style like he's he's like like it can be kind of cutesy with his like broken english sometimes but most of the time it's just like god come on entertain us do a thing like all he does is he's great at what he does and that's just not enough for me i want somebody who like like i was a huge kobe fan right after the rape and everything like like he knew how can you not love this guy yeah yeah he went out with a bang like that that's the guy who knows

how to entertain people mm-hmm touche yeah no i am i think the russian accent is more than cutesy for me like so it's two things. If people don't know Khabib, he's Muslim. And along with that, at least his variety of Muslim, is like this sort of calm, discipline, respect-driven orthodoxy that inhabits every portion of his life. It impacts his relationship with his father, who recently passed, his wife, his training mates,

like how he interacts with basically everyone else on earth. It's this sort of like respect-driven honor code everywhere. And when he gets angry at a guy, oh, he's really a truth teller. He's an incredible truth teller. When he talks about like Tony Ferguson, he's like, ah, he's a real good teller when he talks about like tony ferguson he's like ah he's uh he's a real good fighter but uh stupid stupid man and when i hear him say things like he's so

stupid i don't cut away twice he's kicking metal balls and he's just a stupid stupid person i don't know and i'm like this is his unfiltered truth. He's not smack talking. He believes in his heart of hearts that Tony Ferguson would do very poorly on the SATs. And he might be right. You know, he believes in his heart of hearts that this guy is tough or this guy is not tough. I think Tony Ferguson would do poorly at Sudoku. Like, I don't know. Name that color.

Welcome to. like i don't know name that color welcome to the night's quiz show with mma stars our first category name that color our second category what's my address which number is bigger third where am i where where am i and for our bonus round now the biggest number biggest number we've got seven five seven or forty five five minutes on the clock yeah so the readings were awful something about the way khabib i want to say tells the truth but we can maybe agree on tells his truth right like like he doesn't when he says this guy's smart or this guy's stupid or this guy parties too much or what like it it's always this hard-hitting undeniable truth that yeah i don't like a straightforward warrior monk that you know that's a good description yeah that's that's kind of his thing he's like a straightforward warrior monk with like no entertainment bone in his body.

That's not what I'm looking for. I think he's the best there is at that weight class. The proof's in the pudding. He's done it. He's done it over and over and over and over. But I want to see him fail. I want to see him fall. And then maybe he'll be entertaining.

Maybe that would light a fire under his ass. Maybe he'd say a thing. He's turning. So Conor McGregor wants to fight again, right? And Conor's going to fight Poirier. These are both people that Khabib has beaten already. So he's not interested in fighting them again. But if he fights Conor, there's a huge payday.

And he's like, I do not need more money. What do I have? $12 million, $18 million. That is enough. That is enough money. Why would I fight for that, for more more i hate that about him too i like i get it if like if like i see that with like some ceo who's like spending their whole day in some boardroom or like just just running meetings and appointments all day and it's because he's up early and to bed late and he's just

thinking about the the acquisitions and mergers and all sorts of stuff and he's up early and to bed late and he's just thinking about the the acquisitions and mergers and all sorts of stuff and it's just a real stressful life day in and day out to make another 15 million that doesn't make a lot of sense to me unless you just love it and it's your passion but i can't imagine anyone just loves that and are passionate about it maybe i'm just not uh imaginative enough but with him it's like he definitely loves fighting i would i would hope and it's like hey man you can do that thing you love and we'll pay you five times more than you've ever made then you've made your whole career for one and he's like nah why not why not how about your great great grandchildren don't have to work now they

can all just be fucking warrior monks who don't fucking entertain anybody well i'm psyched for it i think the co-main is good too do you know what it is i'm not sure uh is it um whitaker maybe i don't know versus cannoneer perhaps so yeah if you're not a fight fan, this weekend is a good one to tune into as a casual. If you don't know what the UFC is about or MMA, it is a good weekend to watch. It's a really big fight. It has global consequences. So that'll be cool. That'll be cool.

And Woody will owe me $5. Conceivably. Conceivably. Conceivably. Almost one, or not almost, 120th of what he owes me. What do you have here? Oh, this. Oh, the guy who rapped about

getting rich off unemployment and then they were like, we should look into this. And he was getting rich off unemployment. I guess he bragged about getting $1.2 million dollars in a scheme against covid relief um i don't know exactly how he did it but uh he bragged about making money off of unemployment benefits and was arrested for carrying out a scheme by

fraudulently applying for over 1.2 million dollars in jobless benefits using stolen identities. I guess he made a song about it? He used debit cards preloaded with unemployment benefits. The debit cards were issued in the name of third parties, including identity theft victims. The applications for these debit cards listed addresses to which Baines had access in Beverly Hills in Koreatown. So this guy's cool. And then he boasted about it.

You know, he should have just cut and run. What is EDD? Does anyone know what EDD stands for? No. So the video is titled EDD. I don't know what that means. I bet someone in our audience does but he got rich off edd and he gives a shout out to donald trump uh he did it with his partner fat

whizza and he boasts about his swagger for edd i don't know anyway so this guy's cool filing edd that's i think that might just be the maybe that's the program it is i don't fucking know uh employment development department in california what a fucking idiot he might have gotten away with it if it wasn't for himself you're right get out of your own way i guess it's also not good to scam you know unemployment it seems like that scam in particular has a lot of like tentacles around you know like if there was a scam where you could get one business loan would you give me well inclined to get away with that than to commit fraud so if you did 1.2 million times or 1.2 million dollars does that mean he did a thousand times

right twelve hundred dollars a pop a thousand of them no idea if he did oh i don't what is this somehow related to the the trump buck thing i don't know the donnie dollars i don't know which program he took but he did say it was about the trump covid trump yeah i don't know if it's that particular one but unemployment benefits i think he did it a thousand times with fake ids jesus christ that's a lot of fake ids that's why i'm saying like i don't know that he would have gotten away with it if john smith the second john smith the third very large family mormons John Smith II. John Smith III. Very large family, Mormons. And if I had a million dollars,

I wouldn't want it in like unemployment benefit debit cards, like a stack of 1,000 debit cards. Like how do you put that in the bank? You can make a bank with your EBT card. The strip club. That's not cash, but it's WIC. You can't buy candy on it but you're like a nice roast perhaps yeah that uh that's pretty funny good for him for trying you know we all want we all love to see the entrepreneurial spirit

no that is pretty shitty if that's really douchey that'll be pointed to by people who are like see we can't have stimuluses or relief packages and it's like shut up we should have done another one fucking months ago so you think they should do more relief packages absolutely absolutely what's the can you i'm not i don't i'm a little mixed if you catch me on different days i give different answers but what do you that's understandable in this this climate like it's just like yeah people are getting fucked like the average person out there the middle class they're really not doing well right now and yeah and it's not their fault and yeah and it's not no fault of theirs kind of you know global pandemics tend to cause problems and we're in a huge problem right now

like he should be kicking the ball down the line. Like every fucking president does every time there's a war or anytime they want spending and just fucking sign off on it. Sign up. First of all, if he wanted to win the election, that's the thing to do. Make another huge stimulus,

make it five times the size of that first one. Fuck it. Like we're in so much debt. What's a little more like that? Do that. Help people out. So that's so much money. We never have to go back to work. Perfect. Give us, give us all more. Do that. Help people out. Give us so much money we never have to go back to work.

Perfect. Give us all 1.2 mil. Everybody, $3 million. Well, it doesn't have to be like that. No, what would happen? Then there'd be incredible inflation and $3 million wouldn't be good anymore.

I'll get to be a millionaire. What if we started a war at the same time? That's the American way. started a war at the same time that's the american way that makes it better prevent inflation though increasing the money that donald trump actually asks and like you know you know you know if you look what if we just give everybody three million dollars would that do the trick you're like well then everyone would be a millionaire sir you i think you're on to something man that's some guy who who he hasn't fired yet he's like um sir the inflation alone i've heard that before that's bad it's terrible i had too much mcdonald's last month i was inflating myself

could we start a war to stop the inflation i can picture him saying that and like not knowing who's talking around him like the ceo of raytheon lockheed martin halliburton boeing like oh yeah it's fucking good war gets things going better than what are you sure that would do it mr president we're all billionaires and so is everyone in years. And they're not rich anymore. Donald's on to something here. Did you see the 60-minute interview? You probably didn't. So here's what happened. I wish I could remember the lady's name, but you know me and names.

He did an interview with 60 Minutes very recently. Call it two days ago. And the interview was kind of contentious. And he walked out. It was going to be him. And then Mike Pence was going to be interviewed next. And I guess the idea was, you know, it'd be a chance for him to make his case. And it would go on TV right before the election.

It'd be a positive thing. And she kept asking him questions about, like, rough areas for him. You know, she's like, ah, so this health care, for example. You know, she's like, ah, so this healthcare, for example. You know, it's been years now. You had control of the House, the Senate, and the executive branch, and you guys didn't do anything with healthcare. You said you had a plan in two weeks.

It's been six weeks since then. You've been saying that you, and he's like, these questions are rough. Why aren't you asking Biden questions like this? Why aren't you asking me about Hunter's emails? Why aren't you? How come you're not being fair? And eventually he left.

Well, anyway, I guess to sort of scoop 60 minutes, they had filmed. It lasted for 38. Well, the video was 38 minutes, but there was like five or six minutes ahead of it of like, please don't ask any hard questions. Kind of like, I don't know, negotiating. She's like, are you ready for hard questions? He's like, no, I want fair questions. And she's like, you know, so if I send you hard questions your way, you're going to answer them? And he's like, I'd much rather you said not do that.

So like that stuff's not part of the show. That was like before show type stuff. So the show might have been like 32 minutes worth of questions and answers. And so he left early. Well, anyway, to like scoop it, I guess, and not help 60 Minutes ratings. He instantly goes on Twitter and starts saying, like, they were very unfair. They were terrible. She was, her questions were too hard, stuff like that.

And then he put it out on Facebook. Like, they had a cell phone just pointed at the whole thing. That's hilarious. Yeah. So the 60 Minutes video comes out on Sunday. It's not out yet. What a dick. I just totally thought nobody's gonna watch that interview

i saw it already yeah i mean like on 60 minutes i know yeah yes yeah so uh they i guess it looked like i guessed it was a cell phone you know you could tell the mic was in the camera because trump's audio is like a six out of ten but the interviewer's audio is like a 6 out of 10, but the interviewer's audio is like a 3 out of 10, because she's farther away from the camera. Is he holding us? Is this a selfie video he's taking? It looked like it was. He's like, can you believe this bitch?

They stop and talk to Pence for a while. He's like, these questions are too hard, don't you think? Or whatever it is he says to her. So did they interview Pence? Noence no no when trump left he took pants with him yeah we're leaving and uh there was no pence interview oh okay donald yes oh it definitely bring it yeah i suppose you're right at one point he turned the fence and he's like these questions are too hard or whatever it is he said to him. And Pence is like, they sure are, boss.

Pence is like, these questions are real hard, boss. I don't understand. Every McNugget that he sees Trump eat, he's like, closer. Closer. He's over there with a kale salad like yeah afc dude if you talk about fucking pumping iron pants looks like he's from presidential central casting to me like like in your mind's eye what does a president look like well is he in his military pants like he's got that looks but i

don't think he is he's square jawed he's got that like his hair is always like tight high and tight sort of like you know perfect um it's all silver which like it's not as good as all brown but if you're trying to do the president it might be perfect right like he looks president you want to be in between yeah he anyway pence looks like a president to me the white hair looks good on him better than uh than the other everyone says stuff like that like yeah the gray hair looks good on him but then like you see his picture from 25 years earlier and you're like well i mean that looked even better i photoshopped him with dark hair. It'd be so off-putting. What is that?

His hair is so high and tight and thick. It's like black people hair already. It's just like there's no... I don't know. It's just on him. It's like it's painted on. He's got thick hair. How old is he?

He's probably only like 60 maybe? He looks like he's 64 maybe? Tops. I was thinking he might be an old guy who looks young. Yeah, he's 61 and he definitely looks younger. Everything about him but his hair looks way younger than 61. His original hair doesn't look at all

like I imagined it. Is it worse? Almost. I pictured it being better it worse? Almost. Yeah, it is a little... I pictured it being better, like the same but brown. Did you just Google, like, young Mike Pence? Look at that.

Pence with dark hair, but... Oh, here's one of him with Reagan, where you can kind of see it. With Reagan? Yeah. Here you go. Here's one of him. Young Mike Pence.

Okay, that's a good picture. All right. So he's always been blessed by the hair gods. Wow, Reagan. This is more like I pictured his hair to be. I'm looking at this picture of him with Reagan, and Reagan looks very confused, and Pence looks like he's about to say,

sir, you have poop on you. Sir, you're covered in what I hope is pudding. Why is he looking at Reagan's dick? But from the smell, I know it's not. You know, Pence, for a guy who's passed all that anti-gay legislation, you sure are zooming in on Reagan's cock. Oh, we all love the electric fence. You know, he just didn't want... Your penis is out.

He didn't want to get lost in those cloudy dementia eyes. We had to avert. Are you my son? Are you my son? Whatever, man. When you Google Pence with dark hair, you get the darn bug in his hair picture six times

people are mean it's gonna be his potato that bug was just like this is the best hair i've ever seen i bet it smells good uh did you see the the there's a like whole collection of flies that have landed on like modern politicians have you seen this they one landed on kamala like pence's was the longest by far. One landed on Hillary. Remember the Hillary forehead? I do remember the fly on Hillary. The fly that was hanging out there.

They've landed on Trump. They've landed on... These flies are sent by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to warn us of the baddies. On Bernie Sanders, though, they juxtaposed it on reddit where like a bug of course the insect lands on pence's hair and stays there and then this like i don't want to get it wrong but i think a beautiful bluebird landed on pence's podium and like hung out there

for why he's like snow white yeah snow white with the birds and the – and he like puts his arms up as the bird graciously is in his presence. It was a – What a trained bird. It's Big Swallow. I'd have like eight trained like white pigeons to just randomly fly down and land all over me and just sort of do like an arms out savior kind of look. I said Big Swallow as like Big Oil kind of joke

but Big Swallow perhaps the Big Load product name. Just put it in the running. Big Swallow. I like the Lock and Load Nut Stack. We need to figure out a way to get Nut Stack in there. Maybe that's what we'll call our proprietary formula.

The Nutstack. Yes, I can't wait to send that into the trademark office. For those of you who don't watch PKN or watched his stream the other night, that is moving forward. I've just got to send the final formula off to Derek, and he's going to get moving from there. And if you want to be more up to date Taylor Merck on Twitch or Woody's gamer tag on Twitch we've

been keeping those guys up to date on it so so they already knew that but yeah we're gonna be making you guys have great loads so be prepared can we make them colored what if it was pink or blue like that's incredibly not I'm putting my foot down.

Maybe we make them colored. Green. How awesome would that be? What about an Easter special? This is genius. Pink loads? Yes. Mine's always been red.

Yeah, that's normal. You always need a little bit of blood in there. Yeah, that's how you know the medicines are working. The sperm is healthy. It's fighting the virus. What do you add to red to make green? They're both primary colors. Blue and yellow is green. What do you add with red to make another color?

You can make purple out of it. Wait, hold on. Let's pursue. What do you add on to red to make another? What other color are we making? We could make it pink. That's what I'm asking. If you make orange, I guess you add a little yellow. Is that how that... Yeah, yeah. That'd be right. Well, in any case, we're not going to color your cum. We might

be making a taste for it. We might color your cum. Yeah, we will do that. I am working on an addition to the formula thanks to Woody that would add a flavoring to your semen. I want you guys to be grateful for all the semen, self-semen Kyle's been drinking as the taste testing. Gallons. I hope you appreciate what he's doing.

I have a team working over me, and we are putting together the final. The team's kind of working under him, to be honest. No, they're working over me. I have to be the one doing the tasting, Woody. Oh. Okay. I picture them on their knees. No, no.

It's the other way around, Woody. It's the other way around. Okay. My bad. We'll give you the details here. We're going to have a very high-quality proprietary blend. I'm excited about it. It's going to be great. It's going to have a very high quality proprietary blend. I'm excited about it. It's going to be good. And I need to confirm something

with you about the amount of sunflower lecithin. We're going to go big or go home with this. Oh my god. Like I recommended you. We doubled up. Perfect. I also added this to great effect.

Do you want to go grab my container of that and bring it in here? I've won mine. You guys think this is not a tested product. You're insane. What else you got? Throw a little bit of that in there. what else you got? Throw a little bit of that in there. I have that and I get,

I think I get that much, maybe a little more a day from my, my MedRx protein shakes. That's a shockingly large amount if that's true. Then it must be much less than that. I don't want to go overboard though. Derek said if I went overboard, there was some warning. He was like,

blah, blah, blah will happen and it's not good. Let me see what he said. Dude, if he's warning you he's like actually steroids fucking dope on your heart great for your liver and it's like i was doing some research on that and it was funny because i would find articles and i was like you know steroids are they good for your heart they're good for your liver like apparently they're not that bad and then i looked it all up and like every single person I was like, Oh, whatever that is. Right.

I don't know what that is. I need to Google that. Every, every single article I found from people, it's like, this is Dr. John Stevens. He loves steroids.

And it'd be like, it's actually great for you. It's the best. And it's like a note from the author. And it's a man just bigger than a house. And every article you find where it's like the troubling reality it's some guy named like dr you know rashmi shvindahar and he's like it is not good for you and it's like all right that guy that guy's not using let me ask you between those two

doctors whose heart do you think is stronger of them whose blood would spurt the furthest yes I want a heart that's like just get the fucking pump on you're right I want the most jacked doctor that's what I'll turn away at the hospital they'll be like

you don't want a woman doctor it's like no I want the biggest man here the strongest man showing that even when he's done saving lives he's got time to pump iron that's how derrick took your advice he uh he did a uh natty or not on sage northcock i saw that video i i thought i was going to be one of like a thousand people that like made that suggestion because it was trending on their mma subreddit yeah and i saw his answer i really wanted to know, I guess it wasn't Addy or not. So if people don't know,

more plates, more dates. He makes videos about performance enhancing drugs, hair replacement, and he'll often look at a guy's physique and,

you know, take a good, an educated guess at what he's taking to achieve that physique. And a lot of times it's less than you think. But what was his takeaway

at the end of the sage video do you recall i think 38 minutes long i watched 20 minutes of it man i i was about the same i might he was doing a lot of like implying he's on performance enhancing drugs he's like look this is his brother same genetics more jacked he's a professional athlete incentive to take this kind of thing like that he i think that he is cautious about saying a guy is like like straight up on stuff unless he has a really high degree of certainty but yeah um insane genetics and those are like his popcorn videos anyway i don't think he like loves making those uh he's he's much more into pharmacology those that were pulled us in though i think that's how we discovered him yeah yeah yeah and especially like um

i'm gonna this guy's name is extra hard he's indian he's a comedian he got super jacked to be a god in a marvel movie oh yeah okay that guy do you know what i'm thinking of though i i've pictured him in my head. I don't know his name. I could probably pronounce it if I could see it, but I don't know him. I know him by sight alone. Yeah, that guy's on some shit. Yes.

Oh, this is his name. I'll let you take the first stab at it. Oh, Kumail Nanjiani? take the first stab at it oh camille nangiani uh chat these are his before and after pictures so um i guess he my marvel lore is a little weak but like uh he's going to play someone like more powerful than galacticus they're like the wow i can't i would know it if i heard it anyways playing this can you say it again journals or something i think it is an eternal yeah yeah and uh so he's an actor he is the product he has to look like a superhero and he has looked like oh let me get you the picture that i'm talking to he has looked like the guy on

the left his whole life and then at like 38 or something he turned it around and looked like the guy on the right one of the things one of the things that derrick uses to determine whether or not someone's natural is i guess like let's say that the guy's michael phelps then he gets fat then he gets hot again he feels like it's easier to return to hotness than it is to get it the first time at 40 and this guy's never looked like this in his whole life before but he looks good now yeah he does yeah so he's pop yeah the traps i never really cared about traps until the last couple years. And they add a lot to your frame. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I was always about biceps and pecs and maybe deltoids. But traps are part of the picture. But traps, if you don't know anything, people listening, this muscle from your neck to your deltoid. This is a deltoid. Anyway. Yeah.

So he does those kinds of videos. And he said this guy was juiced oh yeah i think everybody assumed that just given that you like saw him on broccoli bro yeah that's that's george foreman body by george foreman grow that's body by wendy's uh the beforehand a lot of transformation yeah um another one's hugh jackman hugh jackman apparently wasn't really a super athlete his whole life and then for wolverine movie after movie he just got more and more jack people talked about his progression through the wolverine movies his first wolverine movies people were talking about his body and i was like i don't really

see it like for a superhero i didn't think he was not even close he had been working out for six weeks okay by the end though whoa oh by the last wolverine movie he's insanity mode like i think i think the one you actually want to look at is called the wolverine like i think that's the one where he goes to japan and uh has like a fucking samurai sword fight with a robot or some shit at the end. He is so vascular. He's going to pop.

He looks amazing. I can't get this picture even bigger. But Derek saw this and said it was an obvious Tren right so is it trend of ball is that the full name does anyone know uh tremble on probably tremble okay yeah so i guess tremble on has like a particular impact on like your vascularity and your it packs packs more i don't know but to a trained eye they look at this guy and derrick looks at him and says ah not only is he on the juice i can tell you which juice he's taken jail sonnen says he can do that too looking at the body he has an x-man or x-men one all right whatever the first one is

is outrageous compared to the way he looks and yeah it's one of the coolest before and afters ever. He looks like a volunteer actor in the first film. He looks like... He's skinny. He's not carrying a lot of muscle at all. He's kind of skinny. Is he a tall guy? No.

He's walking around like 150 in X-Men 1. I don't know. Isn't Wolverine supposed to be a really little guy? He's short. He's supposed to be like a really little guy? Wolverine's short. He's supposed to be like 5'2", 350. Oh, that's ridiculous. What?

His skeleton is covered in adamantium, so that's part of it. Yeah, the difference... I have two pictures on my screen. This, I hope, is the first movie. I'll know if it is. Yep. And this

is the one I'm using as his peak form. It's not even close. It looks like a different version of Hugh Jackman consumed the first one. Dude, if we were to hold...

They're all the same species. You could go to the movies and find a guy at the theater who's as buff as the first one. If you told an alien visitor that the top picture was the female of a species, at the bottom was the male, they'd be like, checks out. We're robots now, checks out.

More robots now, I guess. Well, that's ridiculous. Before we jump to anything after Hugh Jackman's physique, we're going to hear from Postmates. This episode of PKA is brought to you by a company we have lots of personal experience with. Postmates, you know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing

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We've also got a very important message from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. It can be a little frustrating, especially if you're in a hurry or running late to find yourself at a railway crossing waiting for a train. And if the signals are going and the train's not even there yet, you may feel a bit tempted to try and sneak across the tracks. Well, don't ever. To the naked eye, trains can often appear further away and moving slower than they are, and they can't stop quickly. Even if the engineer hits the emergency brake right away, it can take the train over a mile to stop, over a mile to stop over a mile to stop by that time it's too late and the result is a potentially deadly crash the point is you can't know how quickly the train will arrive the train can't stop quickly even if it sees you it will end

in disaster if the signals are on the train is on the way and you just need to remember one thing stop trains can't i like that they didn't use trains can't stop i know i said that last time you read it but every time i'm like ah stop trains can't wait that's wrong no it's right it's brighter stop trains can't oh it's better it's better don't stop train wait hold on fuck and uh i this was not requested by the national highway uh traffic safety administration but i thought it would be helpful for the viewers if we watched maybe just until kyle returns just a little train crash compilation who did not listen to the rules they did not stop they they didn't know that trains can't you guys do so there's no excuse

we can't show this can we not no i'm looking at all like the copyright data in the description and stuff like it's been claimed and oh okay all right well rest assured these cars are getting butt fucked yeah they can hear it a little bit at no point does the car or the truck have a chance the train doesn't even slow down so be be wary of trains this is cool footage though like you think an 18 wheeler is like i i know between a train and 18 wheeler there is no competition but 18 wheelers are are not pussy vehicles, right? Here's an 18-wheeler that is a car hauler, you know, with all the – I don't know how many wheels that is,

but it's quite a lot of wheels all put together, and the train just sliced through it like butter. Yeah, like the train hits the semis harder than a semi hits a motorcycle. Bicycle. Yeah. Not even close. At least you get hit by a semi within 100 yards at the most. They got it under control. I just watched.

It's actually slowing the train down, though. What's really bad is when the car, like, jumps in front of the train, it has no time to slow. A solid train hit, like, a stack of telephone poles or something, right? This is a solid mass of what are going to of telephone poles or something right this is a solid mass of what are going to be telephone poles and it doesn't even change speeds here's a train trying to stop pushing a tractor trailer and it's as if the tractor trailer in front of it isn't helping at all were you guys into trains as a kid you know like weird thing

to be into no thomas the tank engine lots of kids like trains it wasn't my jam lots of kids like eating boogers i i i did i did not like that even as a child that made me want to vomit seeing kids eat boogers i've talked about i used to jump on the train with them for uh for transportation like we there was a 7-eleven which is everyone knows what that is right yeah and um uh the walk was like three or four miles. So we would walk down the train tracks, and if the train came, we'd hop on it as it went by. So we're having a fuck show this weekend. Oh, I forgot about that.

Is that still happening? Not only is that happening, we might. It's going to be a weird Sunday. Brace yourselves. Brace yourselves. We may indeed have dueling fuck no is that true there has been talk of a of a second fuck show for those of you don't know what you're talking about there's a link down below to our patreon you become a 50 a month patron patreon not only to get access to all the other lesser values but

you get access to the the 50 patreon discord where we all hang out and play games. There's the guys we pull when we have like gaming nights and stuff. There's guys that I play games with every night. And those are the guys who get to hang out with us once a month for two to four hours, depending on how many people show up. And, uh,

and in a big video call and we chat and shoot the shit. And usually we watch silly videos. We basically have like a miniature PKA that's just for them for them uh just piling around and talking about what makes them interesting because they're all really interesting people for the most part and there's there's usually a ton of drug use they're in there getting just fucking stoned and um just drunk as shit someone usually passes out um it's very entertaining well one of our 50 patrons has told woody that he and his girlfriend are going to put on a fuck show for us apparently so i was doing a live stream on twitch i don't remember for sure his name and uh he sent in a donation asking if it would be okay if he had sex

during the 50 patreon and and i felt like i was i was comfortable speaking for all of us and that it was okay right yeah yeah Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. You're good. Assuming. As long as it's not anal assassin. It can't be. I'm down for that.

I'm down. Yeah. Anal assassin. I do not share in his discrimination. I want to see you. Anal assassin. You get. Although anal assassin.

I do want you to at least have another partner. Don't just. Well, yeah. I don't want to see you jerk it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about him having gay sex in our patronage? That dildo, he bigot, are you? Yeah, no, he can have gay sex in our patronage. Look, here at PKA, we are non-discriminative when it comes to that sort of thing, anyway.

If you want to have some... If you want to show us a bit of buggery, then we're all down for it, all right? Look, the Lord is watching. He's going to judge you. Of course, of course, you're going to burn in a bit of buggery then we're all down for it all right look the lord is watching he's going to judge you of course of course you're going to burn in a lake of fire but we here at pka will not judge you it's not our place we'll watch and we'll enjoy you'll watch especially taylor i'll yeah we'll clockwork on you if we need to yeah absolutely the hangout you're like taylor your eyes aren't on the top right. I know that's where it is.

So who is the person? I don't know the who's. I only know it from the donation. He asked if he could fuck on the hangout. I was sure that we were all going to be okay with it. And yeah, now he's in. I hope he's a Bluetooth customer. I think the stipulation was also about camera angles. We wanted to give a little feedback there.

Like a nice camera angle would be good. I don't want like nutsack and male ass like Dennis talks about in Sunny. So as long as that angle isn't in the mix. I'd like a little of that angle. I don't discriminate. Once again, I think Taylor's being a little vanilla. Yeah, I think so too. I don't mean to not kink you could

set but you need more patrons one of our patrons has that really cool setup where he can click a button and he goes to three different camera angles right man if you set that up i'll start fucking donating you know like if you could i want a little bit of that rear angle but you know the penetration shot but i'd really like to see her face in the camera with maybe you behind her that that'd be fun go for that i don't think he's the one fucking on camera i don't think he is either i'm telling this other guy that he can aspire for greatness here and he could get a couple of camera angles i'm guessing that this guy might be part be like uh they might be like a chatterbait couple already and maybe this is not new to them.

If they are, then you can expect better video and audio quality. Maybe some lighting. Tell you what, if anybody wants to put on any fuck shows for us and you are a chatterbait couple, just become a $50 patron. It's free advertising. We're going to pimp your product. Totally, yeah. You would be a good return on investment, I think. Absolutely.

And we will sponsor you with your first three months of lock and load of course we will you'll be the first one win that's how you get them in now we're all give them a little taste like this from the bottom a little taste of that sweet, sweet cum. And then they're coming back for more begging. Yeah. I wanted to put a tiny amount of methamphetamine in the pills to make sure people stay subscribed. Oh, gosh.

Just put some nicotine in there for no reason. Get them addicted. I'm taking my cum pills. I'm waking up. What are you taking? I think Derek did mention a prescription drug that would absolutely increase uh loads so i i am going to discuss that with him a bit more so maybe if someone you know what we'll see we'll see maybe we could start writing some scripts you know on the down low that's dr taylor blue chew does it right like you go to their website they ask you a medical history and then a doctor checks

it out and they approve you no not even a conversation they just you just tell them about you and they'll decide if you're a good fit for the blue chew speaking of which i think i haven't received dick pills in a while i need to check my account i haven't needed them because i've still got that giant bag yeah i got my mail carrier satchel full of dick pills i can probably wait 14 months not that long because i don't take them every day i take 10 milligrams every day i have noticed though because like you take them before you work out you do get more vascular. You don't get a stuffy nose on it, Kyle?

No, no. Have you ever heard of that before? I only get that with sildenafil, which is the Viagra. Oh, okay. The sildenafil. That's one of the reasons I always recommend to our viewers, if they're going to try out Blue Chew, to get the sildenafil. viewers if they're going to try out blue chew to get the tadalafil um me personally i've had no side effects from tadalafil even at like uh very high doses at the highest they recommend at the with the tadalafil i can get my doctor recommends i can get the highest

so i've never taken more blue chew than they recommend it thank you i even to dala feel can give me a slightly stuffy nose which for me is a big thing because i have the c-pad machine or b-pad machine yeah i've only ever got it like super minor and that could be a little vicks vicks vapor rub a fever is that unstuffed your nose yeah it does it works i'll have to play with that good stuff um and it covers up the smell of rotting flesh which for me at least is also a concern in the bedroom a bit of a necrophile is that an okay kink to not like no yeah there are no kinks that are okay to not like taylor open up your mind there's just the one.

What could it be? Well, you know what it is. Oh, I stopped doing that. Well, they made you stop doing it. Yeah, it's like it was your decision. It was mutual. It was a mutual decision. You also decided i won't go near a thousand feet from a school ever again or a park when i said that i did it i didn't even know what it was i was just

pretending i did a thing that was so horrific it's your child fuckery that's where i think kyle and i were head with it's it's the little boys taylor do you want to read this or am i going to i this uh article sheriff cannibals lured a victim to cabin in Oklahoma Woods, performed illegal castration. And so Bob Lee Allen, 53 years old and Thomas Evans Gates, 42, were arrested after going to the hospital in Macalester to try and visit the victim. I can't say it's cult activity, the sheriff told reporters. It is something that we've never in my career run across in the country the 28 year old victim had flown from virginia to dallas and then was driven to the cabin in southeast oklahoma for the surgery a sheriff deputy reported in a court affidavit so basically they he wanted to go it seems

yeah all right so what's happened here is that this man wanted to have his testicles removed for gender reassignment and he found someone who could not only do it but wanted to because they wanted to eat his testicles well this is just a win-win are they acting like it's a bad thing yeah yeah this is this is big government stepping into our private lives yet again now the more i'm reading this article, the more I don't think that's what it is. The victim stated that after the surgery was over, that Alan said that he was going to consume the parts and laughed and said that he was a cannibal. The victim also said that Alan then talked about the time he worked on someone that he described to be crazy and that he left him open overnight to die.

The victim further stated that Alan had six more clients on the way to have the same operation, and Allen informed him that he had a freezer with body parts and showed him all the pictures on his phone. Wait, okay, a couple questions. One, why do they keep putting surgery in quotes? Because it's a man in a cabin in Oklahoma with a knife. You and the Oklahoman are being surgest. Surgest? I will be surgest.

I don't want some random guy with a knife taking care of me. Random? He has plastic bags and a freezer. He's got a bag full of dicks. Don't touch it. $295,000. But on the bright side,

he's a religious man. Alan reports he tithes $267 a month to the Oratory of Mystical Sacraments. Cool guy. So it looks like the victim is okay, right? I hate to even call him a victim. The customer. It seems a customer.

At first, as always, I don't read the article, but I have time. It's a good policy. It's a good policy so you get surprised when you have new ways to go with it they're fresh and so he just showed up in the woods he was like just the most recent patient he was the monday so do you see that they call themselves the eunuch maker in the emq yeah crew i said it wrong the eunuch maker crew i i i like their branding.

It's better than Lifty's. There's nothing wrong with this. I mean, there really isn't. I got no problem with this. I should be able to let you perform surgery on me if I want you to perform surgery on me. Yeah, but if you're willing to go to a random... Where do we draw the line?

Maybe next time you get a splinter and Jackie helps you get it out, she's all locked up now. You're right. This is just like that. It's a slippery slope, Taylor. First, you can't pull a splinter, and then you can't have an Oklahoma cabin dweller cut off your balls. Yeah.

Thank you. That is what is happening, I suppose. I'm for not locking up mothers who pull splinters out of their children's hands. What about you? There should not be bootleg woodland surgeons roaming around offering these services. Says who? Yeah, I don't understand why you're on the side of big government in this. Someone has to be.

We could all agree. We could open ourselves up a little practice. Oh, yes. Lock in. Dude, if this guy can do it, dude, I can cut off a dick way better than this guy, I bet. I have so many knives. It seems like he's not... I've only got the one. I probably get four knives without getting out of this chair.

I could do it. I've got one dull knife, but a lot of stick-to-itiveness. That's not a bit of quitting. I've got gumption. No quitting him. He'll hack and saw and tear away. Yeah. Can I add these toenail clippers to my list of knives?

Because I could do something eventually. Listen to what you got there. Yeah, if you can take it on an airplane it's not a knife well i can't see them like that turn them broadside yeah oh look at that stippling man i don't want to slip and cut the tip my finger off thank god we'll see like whenever i usually trim my nails when i get out of the shower because they're softened by the hot water right and uh but then i've got like my hands are a little slippery so if i don't have some good stippling on the clippers then they're slipping out of the shower because they're softened by the hot water, right? But then I've got – my hands are a little slippery, so if I don't have some good stippling on the clippers, then they're just slipping out of my hands like a bar of soap. I bit my nails for too long, and my solution has been to have –

I like them short, so I have nail clippers everywhere. I've got a pair in my car, at my desk, next to the bed. You ever get a manicure? No. Never. Seems like it'd take a long time and not a lot of payoff. I'd like to get one.

I'd like to get a massage. Do you get a pushback? I do that myself. But, you know, just get them nice and trimmed up and, you know, uniform. I haven't had a massage in years. Probably since, like, the Disney cruise. Like, it's been... I think I'd like a sports massage. That'd sound nice. I've never had a massage in years probably since like the disney cruise like it's been sports massage that

sound nice i've never had a sports massage i have it was awesome yeah i actually get rid of soreness yeah yeah we were doing that stupid cardio contest we uh i had uh a masseuse come in and uh like like the massage bed and everything and uh and give me one in the living room it's great nice like for an hour just like an hour what did you wear were you naked i wore like um just basketball shorts because she's a lady and yeah get naked isn't that etiquette i always wear boxers but i feel like people who get more massages don't wear anything and they have a towel that they just like whatever i want to um i know she's got a husband and i just felt like i would might get an erection anyway

because she's pretty hot so i wore my basketball shorts with some underwear i also to rub my ass or anything that was under those. You didn't have any ass pain, no ass soreness? No ass soreness, really. Okay. Well, then I guess you were fine with the shorts. I was fine with the shorts. As long as you can blast the hammies and the quads.

She could probably massage the ass through the shorts if it came to that. She probably could. I don't know. She really needed to get in there deep. Yeah. Sometimes, even women sometimes it's like even women. It's like you are too strong for this job. You have clearly been doing finger workouts, and you have finger gains that are like, I'm already sore.

That's why we're here. Yeah. We were at this strip club in Kentucky, and there was this masseuse who worked there. She didn't work for the strip club in kentucky and uh there was this uh masseuse who worked there and uh like she didn't work for the strip club they just let her work there and she was really pretty but she was fully clothed like like wearing like a she was fully clothed and for like ten dollars for five minutes or something she'd rub your shoulders and i was like all right i'm down i'm down you know i've got a huge stack of ones in front of me anyway and uh and she she was russian and she was like she was like how hard

do you want and i'm like i don't know pretty hard she's like one through ten and i'm like i look at her and she's like five six like 120 pounds and i'm like a 10 and she goes three wouldn't you lead off with a five or something so he didn't know that she was fucking andre the giant on the inside she was so strong yeah big four arms her hands were so much stronger than my hands oh is that emasculating no i felt good yeah i i had um i had a massage on the disney cruise and to look at this woman you wouldn't think that she was super strong she was asian and would have benefited from weighing like 15 pounds less right not fat fat but you know just you wouldn't look at her and think like oh she's got tons of strength. But good golly, she had way too much strength. I was just throwing it down a touch.

She used to work at the dog processing plant back in the old country. She was the one that whacked him in the head. It's the massage. She strangled him to death. It's the cheapest way to go, and she could practice for masseurs. Like on her fucking resume, dog strangler. No, you don't understand. They're very bad dog.

They leave home. Sometimes they beg at table. Very strict rules for dog strangulation. I just pictured a dog strangler. What a horrible. I have a whatever it's called. Rot wire,

yeah. Rot, yeah. Today I fucked up from Reddit. Do you guys want to hear this? Yes. What are your thoughts before

on if this is real or not? Like, if you've read it before, what are you going into it with? Because that's always what I am. Oh, shucks. So I think it's real, but I am prone to thinking that.

Okay. Okay. Let's hear this. All right. Today I fucked up by getting high with my fiance. Last night, I managed to finally convince my fiance to smoke weed with me. She's been anti-420, but now that we're just a few weeks from getting married and being all grown up and shit, she went full YOLO.

Fast forward to seeing my fiancé high for the first time. She became extremely relaxed and talkative. It was cute at first, listening to go on and on about life and love. And then shit got kind of specific. She mentioned how she never expected to be with someone like me. I didn't even have to encourage her to explain because the floodgates were already wide open. All the details spilled out without any fucking filter.

This is what I learned from my fiance that I never knew before. Five points. One, most of her past relationships ended because she was notoriously promiscuous. Two, as per one, one of those relationships came to an end after she cheated on her boyfriend by hooking up with his younger brother, which was also cheating on the damn brother with his best friend who just so happened to be the same sex.

Three, I'm the first guy she had to do the fake orgasm thing with. Apparently, all of her exes push the right buttons, whereas I don't. exes push the right buttons, whereas I don't. My asthma is a turnoff when it comes to sex because she feels like she needs to hold back so that I don't get too excited and die. And the last one, all of her exes had horse dicks, of course they did, and I'm her first average. Those were some of the key points. I was too traumatized to register whatever she said afterwards, and I don't think I blinked for the rest of the evening too long didn't read convince my fiance to get high on relationship destroying weed there's an update relationship destroying weed got some good weed update even though i knew what my fiance said would haunt me forever i was willing to bury it in

the back of my mind and pretend like last night never happened. However, my fiance wanted to talk. So we did. It was brutal. She said my mom was right about her being wrong for me. Long story short, all of this shit was building up to her admitting she'd been sending nudes to one of her horse dick exes,

a fucking Chad. I am emotionally destroyed. It doesn't even feel real yet. So I have trouble accepting it's over, but it is. I guess I'm returning that ring and getting a PS5. Appreciate all the advice.

Well, clearly you're, what a bitch. What a bitch. I mean, you've got to know that the ps5 is going to be inferior to a pc in every way get to the core of it yeah i like it i like it uh playstation 5 some console some mealy dicked console nerd mealy truly i really i don't think either of these two are built from the right stuff right one's a cheating whore and the other's a console player. Which is worse.

What's her... Any information on this young lady? She sounds like a blast. Kyle's like, got a phone number? I'm down for open relationships. I mean, she sounds funny. She sounds great. I wonder how those lines were delivered.

See, I don't know if I believe this. He doesn't deserve her that's where we're going with this he doesn't deserve her i like it i like it i agree this guy's a fucking loser ps5 this wasn't one of our fans was it i can't no this was like a public like this was a pka viewer he'd be like hey I'm returning this ring and getting a 3080 in that new AMD chip that they just announced. The PKA viewer is the horse-dicked ex. Yes. And free nudes.

And she's giving him that pay pigs money. Taylor, this sounds like a $50 Patreon you're describing here. Yeah, pretty much. But yeah, I'm the opposite of you you woody i always have my dials actually going to be in our show this weekend i hope this lady that'd be funny a small world if it was but i don't think so so we'll yeah yeah i mean to the first time you smoke pot who gets so who gets that talkative really that's what they said i i think i've told this story before i've only smoked pot twice in my life both times were out of country in the dominican republic and i think it was really low quality weed i don't know much

about weed um the first time they said i got really talkative, but I maintain that I just am really talkative. And the guy that I was like arguing with was intentionally like pushing on my buttons. I remember it was this conversation about wild West, you know, you count the 10 and you shoot the pistol. The, is it a showdown?

What the hell do they call that? Uh, dual. Sure. Dual. Um, anyway, he was like,

your reaction time is faster than the time that you decide to do it. So the guy who waits for the other guy actually has the advantage. That was his standpoint. And I'm like, no, but the starting times are not the same. Like, you're reacting to all that time it took me to decide to pull it. Doesn't even count in the equation because you're second place in this decision-making process. This is a very high discussion. You're right. Yes. Anyway, they were like, Woody, you're second place in this decision-making process. This is a very high discussion. You're right.

Yes. Anyway, they were like, Woody, you're talking so much. You're obviously high. And I'm like, I feel nothing. This does nothing for me. And this guy is like making a really terrible argument that I can't seem to let go. I don't think this is a weed thing. And then the next time, I felt sick, really sick.

So I didn't know. I didn't really have a weed thing. And then the next time I felt sick, really sick. So I didn't know, like, I didn't really have a weed mentor. Like everyone was just smoking and they all, so I took this like really like the biggest inhale I could off of an apple bong, I guess the apple, whatever.

And they were high rollers, huh? We didn't have the tools, you know, they, they had a high idea, which was a website where you insert the things you can find around the house and then they'll be like well you're just like a ballpoint pen away from a bong and like where you could like engineer that's anyway just go to

any high school and ask anyone and they'll as a website that wouldn't it be fun to be like i've got a paper clip an old watch a, an apple, and a big pen? That exists, yeah. Oh, that exists? Yeah, there's an app for that. Okay. Really? Well, we thought we were really clever.

But I felt terrible, terrible, and I felt nauseous. I was coughing even long after I stopped smoking it, and I'd spent my time sitting on a curb with my head between my knees waiting for it to pass. Oh, that sucks. Usually weed is good for nausea. Had you had any alcohol? No. Well, then that is strange. How much of the apple did you eat?

I forget. What if they passed an apple all loaded it up? And he just went, oh, it's awful. I got a bunch of leaves. An apple. I keep calling it a bong, but bong means there's water in it, right?

Yeah, it's a pipe, I would imagine. Okay. Sort of made a pipe out of an apple. And maybe a pen was involved. Or maybe a pen was involved in the making to connect they poured it out with the thing and then they stuck it in through the side to make the little little chamber thing i've actually never smoked out of an apple i've all because like pipes are so cheap like the little glass like uh get on my level they're like five dollars or something like that we were in out of country like look

out of a banana once and it was disgusting it's like i'm just smoking a banana it's like all right whatever man like you light it on top of where the weed is and the banana with like a hole so like the banana fruit is still in there, just a cord and then the peel is still on it. Immediately, all the waxy banana melds with everything in there and it becomes a...

Pipes can be gross too, though. My drug dealer's bong was the grossest thing I've ever seen. I just remember being like, you ever clean that thing? He'd be like, oh yeah, all the time. God damn. He had like a big one.

Like maybe, I mean, I had two, but it was like three foot tall bong. And like the entire inside of it was like black and gross. Who was it I made clean their bong? I'm trying to think. I'm going to guess white boy. No, no. We were smoking out of my stuff then. We always smoked out of my bowls when me and white boy would smoke.

I had a funny justification for smoking pot. It was like, I forget how old Hope was, but it's like, Hope is like 12 now. She's going to be pressured to try this. I should know what I'm talking about. This is just good parenting right here. Hope, I need you to ask whoever the coolest guy at school is again i was in the dominican republic like it but uh but it was like i i like i feel like i'm parenting from a position of ignorance and i need to know what's up

i still don't know really what's up but that was the thought process no wonder you yeah you had a bad experience. Yeah. Shitty ditch weed. If we ever make it out to a Colorado trip, Kyle will point out exactly the amount of the gummy bear to enjoy. Which is stupid. Yeah, yeah. I'm told that edibles are not for rookies.

That they're not the... If anything, the least harsh thing that you could try would be a vape pen. You can buy these one be a vape uh pen like like you can buy these one use vape pens like like they they basically give you the the pen for like free if you buy the the the liquid that goes in it so you'll pay like 25 for like a milliliter of liquid and the pen is a dollar more and uh you sort of use like it's like an eyedrop bottle it's like it's like it comes in something like this visine and you sort of fill the thing up and it's not harsh at all you know it's vapor and you wouldn't even need that like they were just like jewels like the yeah those are a thing where you can buy them and it's just like a one one hit thing like you just hit it and

it has it in there you don't need to reload you just throw it away when you're done. I bought a couple of those that I got through when I was in Colorado last time. Those are great. It's like if Keurig made pot. Yeah. And they're really good for like on the go smoking. We took one of those to putt putt and it worked out really well. Did I tell you guys when I was in Colorado we went on that hike with my cousin and this mushroom head guide no so basically we went uh we were in colorado and we were like all right we're going to i think it was colorado springs they had this big long hike that my cousin was excited about

because he lives up there and he's like i don't know it that well i know people rave about it so but i got a buddy who he and his dog take do it all the time and so we get there my cousin he's a little little hippie ish you know a few years older than me still like living the like a wild child and he we get to this place and i know immediately who his friend is because it is the most hippie looking person with like the shaggiest dog he's got a weed pipe on a necklace around his, his necklace of a weed pipe. His shirt has a bunch of psychedelic mushrooms on it. And he starts taking us through the woods and like, he's stopping.

I think he was high on mushrooms. He said he wasn't, but he was stopping and looking at every mushroom for a decent amount of time and explaining how he was a mycology major and like studying mushrooms and how much he wants to grow mushrooms and how actually he was very joe rogan-esque on mushrooms or it was like actually it's the best thing ever and it's so powerful i'm on mushrooms right now you wouldn't believe like that kind of thing he took he was the slowest fucking guide because he would just make his way around the woods

looking under logs and things for mushrooms ended up working out okay because he you know i think we ended up leaving him because he was too much time on mushrooms where i go um paragliding in florida it's behind a boat they tell you up there's cow farms there apparently some of the guys run around the cow farms and get like edible mushrooms they grow in the cow patties you guys know anything about this yeah yes i've heard that that it grows in cow patties? Do you guys know anything about this? Yeah. Yes. I've heard that, that it grows in cow patties and you can get psychedelic mushrooms that way. I guess there are some pilots

that have the expertise. Like, I'm always, since I was a little kid, I was told, don't eat mushrooms. Never eat mushrooms. It takes a high-level expertise. You can't just look at a picture of a mushroom

and know what you're getting. Like, I don't know. It takes a high level of expertise to know which ones are safe. But apparently, these guys possess that level of expertise and they go out and they find mushrooms in the cow poo, which sounds like it sucks. Another fun fact about the cows.

And I really should get video of it. There's like separate, but equal cow pens. As you drive down the road, all the white ones are to the right and all the black ones are to the left. And there are no mixing of these cows. As it should be. I'm like, yeah.

Just an autistic farmer. And the black cows are kind of overcrowded and the white cows have all this elbow room. We got too many black cows over there. We need to breed the white cows faster or get rid of some of the black cows. They have to be even. They have to be just like a rain man. A farmer. I don't know.

I don't know what happens if the black cow – I assume it's a breeding thing. Yeah, sure. But like if you get black cows and white cows breed or the – Maybe the bird – You still get cows, right? Yeah. Chocolate milk comes from here. That's how that works.

And chocolate milk. There are literally people who believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows yeah they're children no they are not all children who's the oldest person you've talked to that thought that chocolate 25 okay who's the oldest man you've talked to like 25 all right name not named jeremy it's funny, though. Man, you've talked. Oh, seven. We'll figure that out quick. So I saw something about Tesla.

Ooh. There's a design flaw. Oh. Is it about the... The rear bumper can fall off when driving in puddles of water. On the Model 3. i don't believe that it's right here in this you don't believe the news this guy clearly just had an accident and blamed water it says in rare instances certain components on model three vehicles built at the fremont factory before may 21st 2019 might be damaged when driving through standing water on a road or highway with

poor drainage. In these instances, the rear fascia might detach from the vehicle and harness and or body fastener mounts might also be damaged. As you think about it, though, if I'm looking at this bumper, especially the right picture that gives you like a vibe, if it were to hook and catch water,

that would be a tremendous amount pulling backwards on the fender on the bumper okay like it he's they say standing water and everybody knows you're not supposed to drive your electric car in the rain anywhere sure that's how you commit suicide i'm too dumb to talk about this but tesla believes that you don't need lidar that it's too expensive to implement i don't know much about what's that what's lidar so i guess lidar is like a detector that works from a long distance ah let me see what it stands for is that the thing that keeps light detection and ranging and um i guess lidar gives a better view of like 3D images and distance than cameras do. So what Tesla does is they have multiple cameras all over their car

and it's meant to kind of stitch together images and infer from them and the difference between them data that you could get from LIDAR. Elon Musk says that LIDAR is too expensive and that it's not the right way to go. I don't know. I'm sitting here questioning Elon Musk as if I know what the hell's happening, but all the other autonomous car people use LIDAR and it's in the new iPhone. So when you say it's too expensive, Elon Musk, do you mean it's like $13 per car? Like how much there's LIDAR in, um, iPhones now because it helps them do the autofocus like they get distance information better than you could otherwise and uh yeah i wonder how it'll

go oh by the way tesla said that elon musk said this year we'll have uh remember boogie was going to get his car because of this reason autonomous taxis but your car will make money for you it'll just ride around and pick up passengers. What do you think? Think he'll deliver that on time? It's got a month and a half. Nah, you know, they'll make it. I just get it in their teeth. It'll just be a very dangerous taxi service.

Don't share this, but look at the name of this product. Making double sure I'm not sharing. Hmm. Oh, that's a great name it would have been a major name that's a great great name uh put that in my head yeah we're gonna blow this out of the water it's not gonna be a fucking contest. Lots of low-key people taking these pre-existing knockoffs,

I like to call them. I don't think that does the same thing, does it? The debate's going on right now. Yes. You know, we've hardly talked about politics this year. Good. Yeah, I agree. Good.

Everybody talks about politics 24-7. That's a fair point actually yeah i'm sure the world is getting their politics talk i uh president kamala is going to win we all know that there's probably i i put my conspiracy hat on there's been some news lately talking about trump's momentum uh he's i guess voter registrations in florida have been a little more republican lately and something in pennsylvania has been a positive republican indicator not polls so much but like something else like i saw something about how they were overperforming polls in a number of states i want him to win just to be clear like i don't know why trump has

not been a great supporter of kyle he's banned bump stocks he aggressively pursued marijuana enforcement and uh agreed uh what else did he do if he came out and said one of my favorite youtube channels back in the day. Don't look too into it. He's from Georgia. So where the fuck you people? I found out, get this, get this. A little bit of pot, take all his guns.

Disgusting. I was waiting for his following video. I go back six years later, still hasn't posted. This motherfucker hasn't posted. I try to go to Hickok45, no explosions, nothing. And so I am giving him full pardon and all of his guns back. That would be fun. Would you vote for him if he said that? Of course I would.

That'd be fucking awesome. But wait, let me finish what I was saying. I figured out the other one. There's aggressive pot criminalization, right? He's after that. He's banned bump stocks. And if he had you wait, Kyle, you would have like four or six kids by now because he's going to outlaw abortion.

About to be six to three. He's not going to do any of those things. Yeah, they're not going to outlaw abortion. First of all, it was Sessions who was aggressively going after marijuana. He's gone. It's this proposed Supreme Court justice that's against birth control.

But what I'm getting at, I don't care about any of that shit anyway. I'll just go to places where those things are legal and exercise my almost free rights. But what would be really interesting is if he gets elected again and we get four more years of this comedy show that we've been living through. You know how boring Kamala Harris and Joe Biden are going to be? It's going to be. Yes. It's going to be like boring. It's going to be like it are going to be? It's going to be like it's going to be terrible.

It's not going to be entertaining at all. We'll never talk about politics again and have a good laugh. It'll be fun to watch. Imagine PKA without politics talk. Now you know how to vote, people. We spent a year on Trump. It was great for material.

I liked it. But I remember some people did some people didn't think they'll win this time don't listen to those people don't listen to those i hope he wins again it'll be fucking hilarious uh and i think i think biden will be boring politicians are all liars uh like biden saying he's gonna legalize he's decriminalized marijuana legalized marijuana whatever he's claiming he won't do it no he's going to decriminalize marijuana, legalize marijuana, whatever he's claiming. He won't do it. No, he's not going to do that. All those fuckers take money from the same pharmaceutical companies. Who definitely have a vested interest in not legalizing that. Pot's fucking cheap as hell, and it does what like half a dozen pharmaceuticals do.

Yeah, super expensive anti-nausea medications for like chemo patients could be replaced by marijuana. They don't want that i wonder if it yeah you hit one there that uh that i push back on because in my lifetime anti-nausea got so good so good like i'm saying price wise like like you can get a real cost is no object what i'm about to throw up. No, it depends. It's like $800 for this two CC injection, or you want an ounce of weed because that's $100. And it'll last all month. And it's fun. I make a lot of bad decisions, so I have more surgeries than most.

And it makes you a better driver, a better dog owner, a better husband. A better parent. You'll enjoy showers more and music, I'm told. Are you an airline pilot? Getting kind of bored with those long transcontinental flights? Hey, toke up, my friend. This is going to make them a blast. How many people are on the plane anyway?

What's the worst that could happen? What, two dozen now? Not many people on planes. Planes are nowadays yeah actually yeah um i didn't go to an airport in a while i don't even know what it would be like how i went the other day atlanta has improved their airport it's looking nice they put one of those gigantic fucking awnings over the uh the area where you uh you know unload from your car like like it's enormous it's not don't think like something 10 feet off the ground it's like something 10 feet off the ground.

It's like 60 feet off the ground, this big fucking architectural... It's like a circus tent. What else is cool about the new awning? It keeps the rain off of you. What color is it? Sort of opaque. I don't mean to brag, but in Raleigh, we have a concrete parking structure.

We didn't have one before. I'm sure your tent is cool. They're calling it the Bulldog Tent. Don't you make fun of our tent. Our parking structure is like 12 stories tall. And Kyle's like, we got like an awning now. But don't think short awning. It's a tall awning.

It's really great. Oh, this is the biggest awning I ever seen. Oh, this is a really, really big awning. Oh, you think there's more to a rancher than the awning? This is a great vacation spot. It's really fancy. I was impressed. You know what's funny?

I was trying to think of something. I was like, what does St. Louis have? Not a danger. You've got that arch. Wait, is this it? Because this is cooler than I pictured. Yeah, that's it. Viewers, this is a way better awning than I was saying it was.

That's not bad right there. I don't know why they used it seemed like they were just a few dollars away from a more permanent covering like a roof just enclosing the whole area well they have a metal structure but they they used a fabric roof they're going to replace every few months or year i don't know i had this was new to me because when i went to the airport the other day and I was kind of blown away because that didn't exist a year ago. Is that glass on the ceiling?

Isn't that going to get really hot? No, it's not glass. I think it's plastic. It's an awning. It's an enormous magnifying glass. Yeah. You killed a Frenchman last week. It's one really dark black spot.

Do not park lithium ion cars under this awning vaporized him on the spot penetrates the batteries yeah well i mean man that's fucking cool dude nice Nice awning, Kyle. World's biggest awning. Oh, I'm going for world's best awning. Look up world's biggest tire fire. I bet that's close to you. World's biggest tire fire.

Actually, there is a tire fire in St. Louis somewhere. It smells bad when you drive by and we find it. Dude, what kind of horseshit is this? I googled world's best awning and i got this picture all right well i think we got that one beaten in atlanta here yeah i do too i mean they do have the christmas lights which are kind of nice it's just kind of nice what they've got it's kind of homey i like it but world's best awning? No, that's not even the neighborhood's best awning. Underground fire outside St. Louis has

burned since 2010. And it says it's nearing a nuclear waste dump. It's only 1,200 feet from the nuclear waste. Oh, that's not good at all. That's a stone's throw away. This is the plot of Silent Hill 2.

Is it? Taylor's Tire Fire. You know Silent Hill? That's the one where they have the underground coal fire that never ends, right? Yeah. Which is also in the movies. The underground coal fire that burns forever.

That's also a real thing. I think that might be in Pennsylvania. That's right. Yeah, it's in Pennsylvania. And I don't know why they can't. I guess it's a lot of fuel, right? Coal burns really well. It's a tourist attraction.

We're not going to put out the biggest draw to Chesapeake County we've ever seen. People love it. I think you can't go there. Blocked off. You can't close down a little town like it's like a that that's the whole premise of that uh that movie yeah i apparently it's gonna burn for like the next 1200 years or something and it's meanwhile they've got us fucking like flushing with a half a liter of water and my car's got epa emissions that slow it down but there's a

coal fire in pennsylvania that's gonna burn for the next 18 decades yeah my dumb ass is like can't you like starve it of oxygen or just fill the underground with water or something i don't know that's what i thought too and then someone was like he can't do that and i was like you're probably right like they would have thought like there's no way some guys are gonna walk walk in and be like, we've flooded out. And they're like, my God. We've been throwing matches at it. Let's put out the fire. Holy shit.

We've been fighting fire with fire this whole time. We need to burn it out. Show that we have the more powerful flame. Turns out fighting fire with water is genius it was just an ancient saboteur terrorist who's like started that phrase no you want to fight fire with fire yeah i think that actually means like you pre-burn areas so that it can't continue right no we're like i've seen farmers do that where if there's a huge out-of-control fire, they'll pre-destroy

crops. Yeah, but fighting fire with fire has nothing to do with actual fires. Yes, it has to. At some point. At some point it came to that. It's a metaphor. Oh, actually, when you Google it, the origin of this phrase is believed to come from

firefighters who literally fight fire with fire depending on what the method of the situation calls for. That's right. Water is not always the best way to combat a raging inferno. Sometimes other types are. Knowyourphrase.com says it. Oh, okay. They know phrases. Touche.

It's clearly a better word Oh well the phrase finder says Respond to an attack by using a similar method As one's attacker It can be both yeah And I guess Shakespeare used it What's the most common usage

Is it oh we have a fire Let's use actual fire To extinguish it or is it Let's turn things around on our attacker And give them back what they're giving to us? I haven't seen the studies. I wouldn't deign to guess. Well, what would common sense lead to? I think this is a Kyle argument here.

Hear me out. King John, 1595 from Shakespeare, be stirring as the time, be fire with fire. Threaten the theater and outface the brow of bragging horror. It's about using the same weapon as the other person. Fight fire with fire. But firefighters said

it too, and they weren't talking about Shakespeare. Okay, Mac. If I get up on this one, I win. He confirmed it. That firefighter. He confirmed that I won. Are you slandering the good name of firefighters? 1595?

Yeah, he's dead. 1595. I have a new topic. Do you guys know who Jeffrey Toobin is? No. I know he is a journalist that was naked on a zoom call so this is what let me lay it out so jeffrey tubin works for cnn as well as a newspaper and new york yeah is it the new yorker okay and um he was on a zoom call like taylor said

i guess he's not the most tech savvy guy because apparently he muted himself and then didn't realize he was still on a Zoom call. And this part, I'm kind of connecting the dots because you don't get the greatest details, but it appears that he had pulled his pants down and started pleasuring himself. So he was in a meeting and I think the meeting was about how they're going to cover the election, like different scenario planning, like if they win Pennsylvania or whatever, like what they're going to say on game day. And he's like barely paying attention to this thing. He's got Chatterbait up on the screen and he's like pleasuring himself. But he thinks that he's not in the Zoom meeting.

He thinks he's showing his dick to like Chatterbait or I don't know where. And I think he thought he wasn't showing his dick to anyone. Could be. But the camera, I guess, showed his dick. So like, yeah, like he does. My camera is not showing my dick. You know, like you guys don't know what's going on down there. My age, maybe.

And anyway, but he muted the call and thought that he like wasn't participating in the zoom call with the other cnners so then he comes back to the zoom call like nothing happened like he has no idea they've been watching him work his dick for some period of time and then he becomes aware of it he is suspended by cnn and suspended by the new yorker taylor says and um uh it's it's a pretty big embarrassment for him and i'm in my head i'm like i don't know what to do with this guy like do you cancel him do you cancel him no it was an accident like intent is a piece of the puzzle here right sure um but he did show his dick to people there were women on the call um yeah it's their first time seeing dick i'm sure uh and i it when i first heard it i was

they described it as like may have exposed his penis uh may and i i think they inferred like his underwear was on but as i've heard updates it sounded like like he was out and he was playing with his dick yeah that's what i've heard and um uh and like i don't like there have been other news organizations where like sexual assaults have cost tens of millions of dollars and stuff like that but that sounded like there was a little bit of like if you want to get ahead you have to do this happening that this was not that this was a guy who sucks at a man masturbating on a zoom call thinking he's not on a zoom call yeah we encourage around here frankly right he should have joined

the patreon where that in for that behavior is welcomed we've been a okay but instead he's on with you know these uptight broads at cnn and i i don't know i don't know i i was i was talking about with jackie this morning i'm like what do you do with this guy like and now they're like well he has a history of stuff like this but his history is like he cheated on his wife three years ago or something like that what the fuck yeah i'm like this is he has a history of penis related incidents yeah that's last week he pissed on the toilet seat can you believe it right like like i it wasn't like he's you know he'd shown his dick to other people you know in a work environment or anything like that it was like it was a bit of a stretch to tie in like an incredible stretch yeah it'll be a meme for him for the rest of his career but like he's not gonna get fired so he might get six

related story oh peanut uh borat uh two which comes out uh on the 23rd which is tomorrow on amazon um apparently he tricked Rudy Giuliani into some sort of interview, and there was a female interviewing him, who I'm told looked very young. At some point,

he was convinced to pleasure himself on camera, and 73 or 76 year old Rudy Giuliani had his hands in his pants touching himself. Was he masturbating? This is all I know. He had his hands in his pants touching himself with this female interviewer. And that is the point in which I'm told Borat bursts in and says, stop, stop.

She's 15. She's far too old for you so that's hilarious there's a little more to it um the actress that played the 15 year old was 24 of course so i think that you might forgive giuliani for thinking she was in her mid-20s right like you know he probably wasn't thinking it was a 15 year old girl right and of course not that's that's irrelevant well you know it's relevant to me whether it's a 15 year old or a 24 year old that he's like yeah yeah i knew it wasn't a child i knew that going i know that i know that's a joke well the problem is that he's like touching himself in interviews so his excuse for it i know is um he had just taken off like a lapel mic.

And if anyone's ever worn them, they kind of like button in your back and the wire goes up the front like to hear ish and it's hidden. And his shirt came untucked while he took the mic off. So he had to tuck his shirt back in. Now, he doesn't have a good explanation for why he was laying on the bed of a hotel room to do this operation right um probably kyle i know me i've worn wireless lapel mics a bunch a bunch of times and i never like all right honey quick i gotta lay down in bed and tuck my shirt back in like that there's a little missing piece of people for that yeah i have a tucker but you do have to tuck your shirt back in like that's part of the deal like it, it goes right up sort of the front into here.

So I can see why he was tucking his shirt back in. I don't know why he was laying on the bed to do that. Won't everybody see the full scene tomorrow if they watch it? I hope so. Or last night. I think he was on. Or maybe tonight. I think maybe Sasha Cohen goes on Stephen Colbert's show tonight,

and they might show that clip. But, of course, it's going to be edited. I saw the still also. But I think that I actually know he's going on Stephen Colbert's show. I just don't know if it's tonight. Well, the whole movie's out tomorrow, Friday the 23rd, I believe. I don't know how he's going to get enough material with how fucking famous Borat's character is.

Even the voice is so famous. You know what i mean like how often how long can you go back to that well before you suddenly have like people playing along with it because they're like twice borat so what i think has happened here is uh did you remember sasha's um like like political hidden camera show that he did last year right a little underwhelming in my i remember he did yeah he got like dick cheney and a bunch of other people on camera doing silly stuff i think that this was supposed to be season two and it just didn't work out so they've just edited an entire season's worth of his tv show into a movie that might be why maybe they couldn't get enough bites on the line part of the movie is that borat is so famous that he has to go into disguise.

So what you're getting is Sasha as Borat in disguise. That doesn't matter, though. You're not following. It's him as Borat in a disguise, but he's still talking as Borat. No. So it's not even

a Borat movie. It's Borat coming to a realization that he is now famous in America and he doesn't like that. So he is disguising himself. So it's Borat in a disguise, not Sasha Barricona in a disguise. Which is kind of like Sasha in a disguise that's not Borat-ish. Exactly. But it's Borat in the disguise. Borat-ish. Exactly. But it's Borat in the disguise. Borat trying not to do his regular voice,

but failing at it in a disguise is the idea. All right. We'll see. Yeah. Which, if you remove a step, it's just Sasha Cohen in a different disguise. Exactly. Right.

And we'll see what it came out as. You know, yeah. I don't have another funny character. I'm scraping the barrel. Who did Ali G? Was that also? No, it was the Ali G show. Yeah.

Yeah. He's got a really serious movie coming out at the same time, pretty much, too. So it's really, it's. What's it about? I don't know. It's a drama, though. Yeah. It's like a serious movie.

He's a good actor you know what i watched just the other night was i can't believe i love john carpenter movies so i'm surprised i i hadn't watched this before they live have you watched that kyle with rock with rowdy roddy piper first time he'd ever acted i like how first of all early in that movie for no reason they just show him like shoveling dirt and it's like ah we're establishing that he's shredded and very strong and the very beginning of the movie he's some drifter guy you know comes into a new town trying to get a job and basically he stumbles upon a and you know global underground global conspiracy where there are aliens who control the media and every

every bit of power every and anything that matters they control it they control the media banks like the army the police like and he finds these gold these sunglasses that you put them on and now like when you see an advertisement he'll see through the advertisement to what it's telling which is like you know ignore what's happening consume be submissive don't think make no babies believe what you're told trust the meat like and then it's got like a picture of like it's got like a dollar sign this is this is your god yeah that kind of thing when the guy's holding it and so basically and what i loved is the speed at which that movie progressed because usually I was thinking like, okay,

rowdy, rowdy Piper just got the glasses five minutes ago. He's looking at everything we're talking about. They live and he's looking around and, uh, yeah, I think you're muted. Yeah,

I did. I figured that I said, I figured it out. And then I figured that out as well. Oh, okay. So basically what I, what I drug me into the movie initially was I knew the movie was supposed to be good

and I'd never seen it. And it's maybe five minutes, three to five minutes of movie time and of real time because it's more of a continuous shot between when he puts the glasses on and is like, oh my God, there's a global conspiracy of aliens who are trying to just get us consumed

and don't question authority and just money is your god all that three minutes of real time later he is murdering them he walks into a store and like i'm thinking like he's gonna have to try and find that cult or that that underground operation that's trying to break the truth to everyone try and formulate a plan no he walks in looks at at some gross, rich elite woman who's one of the aliens. That's pretty much the theme. Everybody in the elite class is an alien.

And he just starts going, you're ugly on the outside, and you're a fucking bad acting, like insulting all of them. And then, of course, all the aliens start turning and going, we got one that can see. We got one that can see. And he's like like i don't like

this one bit and he runs out of the store and then stands in front of the store for like a minute like thinking about things not retreating and then a couple of cops who are also aliens pull up on him and instead of submitting at all he immediately kills both police officers and then goes on what amounts to be a 70 minute mostly rampage. Nine minutes to 12 minutes, I swear to God, is him fighting his black friend in an alley. That fight goes on for so long. It's the longest fight

I've ever seen and so many times it's like, dude, this is a they would be in their death knells. Like this is a devastating fight. They're breaking bottles on each other, hitting each other with two by fours. Why are they fighting? They were fighting because he put on the glasses and the black guy's like,

I don't want to put them on. Instead of being like, So they hold a WWE match right there. I know this sounds crazy. Just put these on. First of all, the color scheme changes and you're going to see some weird stuff. He goes, you're going to put them on and starts beating the shit out of them and forcing them to put it on and they beat the color scheme changes and you're gonna see some weird stuff he goes you're gonna put them on and starts beating the shit out of them forcing to put it on and they beat the shit out of each other it's it's i it kept me invested i love the bank really liked

that movie he walks into the bank and he looks around he had this like panning shot of every what's going on every bank teller is a fucking alien most of the people in line are fucking aliens the security guard's an alien and he's just he's got keep in mind he's got a 12 gauge shotgun in his hands he's killed a couple cops and he's just like i have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and i'm all out of bubble gum that's a great security card goes to draw his pistol he's just like immediately just boom just kills him right away and just starts working on the crowd that's uh that's what duke nukem is based off of they don't know that he like what he knows for some of the scenes right he walks into a new scene they don't know and he's like you're ugly you're ugly yeah you're

right you're ugly and you're ugly and the four aliens are like well i can see what's happening here we got one who can see yeah it was like the only part that didn't make sense like and i guess if they did this the whole movie wouldn't have worked is like obviously like as like he comes across a cop who's just a person and he's like beat your feet and he sends the guy on his way but like if the aliens actually held all the levers of power you don't infiltrate the boots on the ground people you control them from above why would the aliens be a a baseline cop you should just use the humans to do all your dirty shit you're the rich bankers you're the rich like what was the newscaster guy like just yeah that's the only part that didn't that didn't make a ton of sense um but uh it's it is a good movie uh that was the only part that didn't make a ton of sense yeah it was

and you accept every something you live you exist in this world you accept all these plot contrivances that is one that does not make sense he said that's the only part that didn't make sense the real thing is the only part that doesn't make sense i mean you have to obviously accept that there are aliens and invading uh you know the planet here i have the same problem with that that i did with red dawn i watched red dawn as a kid and i came away this is young whatever 13 year old woody thinking yeah you know i'd probably'd probably be a Wolverine and take on the Russians. I imagine that's how that would go down. And my father's like,

no, that's not how it would go down. The second she became any kind of problem, they'd send in a helicopter and kill all of you at once. It'd be no trouble. That's what they do at the end. Do you remember the D squad of Russian soldiers they were sending after him in that movie? Just the absolute three stooges of of russians going after like falling down hills on their own

yeah i liked that one though that was red dawn's fun yeah both of them um but uh the the same thing with with they live like the second rowdy rowdy piper presents some sort of problem they'll just bring two people with guns or maybe even five and he'll lose that gunfight and then like they'll squash him it won't be a problem i think they were just unprepared for a human who could see you know it never happened before it never had never come up before well they all said we've got one that can see with the glasses that seem like they had you know yeah They just never had a concerted group of them try to destroy the signal. I don't want to spoil this movie from 1988.

Yeah. I like John Carpenter's movies. That's one of my favorites for sure. The Thing is his best one. The Thing is my favorite horror movie of all time. What's the really expensive one? Was it called John Carpenter? Really expensive movie came out like

10 years ago went to mars maybe uh i know what you're talking about um fuck ghost of mars is that it that wouldn't have been real expensive i don't think he's ever made an expensive movie to be frank i might be mixing up conflating with someone who made um who was avatar yeah i was gonna say it came out at the same time as avatar and the movie was successful but because it was being compared to avatar they all acted like it was a total loser oh are you talking about that disney movie possibly the one with you're talking about john carter yes i'm talking about john carter okay that's kyle you know sometimes we take both johns both johns see see also pocahontas john smith in that several of our founding fathers were named john it's all connected

john carter yeah and it came out in 2012 but did that come out roughly the same time as uh avatar i'm not sure when avatar came out to be honest um but yeah john carter was uh the name of a really big flop that disney made about um i don't know it was fucking like a human on mars or something and they were fucking monsters and it was supposed to be this big trilogy and it just flopped i thought it was maybe i'm the only one that liked it yeah you were it did lose money it the production budget was 263 million one of the most expensive films ever made that's a quarter billion dollars that and it grossed 284 million at the box office but i think that sometimes you can say cost 263 to make sold 284 and think that's a profit but it's not

because the like the theater gets some big chunk of that it was a 200 million dollar write-down that's a big loss yeah yeah it didn't go well losing 200 million is a big deal even for disney they're uh they're really uh putting everything in their streaming service right now with their theme parks and cruise lines down and uh it seems like they're really putting a lot of eggs in the streaming basket there's a cup they're They're going to do a Obi-Wan Kenobi TV show now too with Ewan McGregor. Are you excited about that? I actually am. Yeah. It's what Star Wars fans have been asking for for a very,

very long time. Isn't Ewan McGregor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, anything. Is Ewan McGregor's star not shining like it used to? Or am I crazy? He was just in that Stephen King thing, Doctor Sleep or whatever. The sequel to The Shining.

Yeah, I watched that. It was good. It was pretty good, yeah. It's pretty brutal when they're murdering those children. Yeah. I like Ewan McGregor as an actor. Did you guys see The Haunting of the Bly Manor or something like that? Do you know the show? No, we something like that do you know the show we

talked about that i saw the two black chicks on the on the on the front and i was just no i can't do that they keep suggesting that's like the haunted house picture on netflix they keep suggesting it to me but i watched a series series so i i think that it followed I like what TV shows have done over my lifetime. If you look at old shows, we'll say Friends and fucking – it's a more current one. What's the one that's like minstrel show for nerds? No. Big Bang Theory. Big Bang Theory.

Thank you. The Big Bang Theory, Friends, the shows in that class with the laugh tracks and the plots that barely extend 20 minutes. That's kind of old school to me. And now TV shows are being Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones, even though it was fucked up at the end, where it's like better than movies used to be movies developed plots and did things seriously and took on bigger topics and tv shows were lame and stupid the haunting of bly manor now i hate to compare it to breaking dead or anything like that but it's a scary horrorish ghost thing that is nine hours of content are you liking it i finished it and i liked it i didn't love it you know i'm not like it's not this can't miss thing uh how scared were like more more spooky or like truly i wasn't really scared like there was some moments and um it's more a mystery maybe or so we got to discover the secret i'm trying i'm thinking ahead so I don't spoil too much.

Just ruin it. I guess I'll say this. No character is safe in this show. How many of the black women die? I don't want to say. I'll tell you privately if you want. We can whittle that on down to zero black women. I'll give it a watch.

We can whittle that on down to zero black women. I'll give it a watch. So, and I don't know why you're so against the black women. One's fine looking and the other's hot. Yeah, that's the most unrealistic thing about the show. That two attractive black women know each other and are in the same room. You've never seen that before. I've seen more ghosts than I've seen rooms with two attractive black women in them.

Kyle? Oh, you're saying you've never seen a ghost. Ah, I see. But I like it because it's a plot that takes... Scavenger hunt? And I had to pick between find a real ghost or find or find a normal sized room

with two attractive black women i'll be like i'll take the ghost come on i'll find something i feel like i'd go to a college campus oh you'd go to a um a traditionally black college campus it'd be filled with like black women who were whatever 22 years old they'd be hot i would crush it in that scavenger hunt anyway um uh yeah it's a it's a it's a long story that they have to tell and they take whatever eight or nine hours to tell it and i just watched it and i'm like i think tv shows are cool this way i like that they're that they can take on big stories. I agree with you. I don't know what Better Call Saul's schedule is,

but I'm looking forward to more of that. The Expanse, I'm looking forward to more of that. I think that's right around the corner. They're going to do a weekly upload on that now instead of just the big everything at once kind of thing. The Expanse lost me. I tried to catch up i forget if i stopped on season three or four i think i season four i was watching and before they're on the planet i didn't get through it i was just like i don't i care so little about this it is noise

that's irritating me as i'd rather be doing something else yikes i didn't love it um i didn't like them on the planet i want them back out in space doing their space pirate shit but uh But I'm definitely down for another season. I'm into it. It's one of the better shows that exist. I like it. I think The Boys is the best ongoing property in TV right now. as far as quality and consistency. It's always good. It's always high effort. I know you don't like some of their camera shots. I feel like Vince Gilligan is really stroking himself off sometimes behind that camera.

We're going to spend the next 17 minutes watching this show through the reflection on a polished door handle. Some people see chrome and they see a car. Vince Gilligan sees it and he thinks possibility I think I've got a whole season of that show to watch before this new one

I don't think I watched any of this most recent one last season was great there was a fucking psychopath in it it wasn't Jimmy every season has one of those Jimmy's a sociopath if we're real he's very driven but that Mexican guy there there's a scene where he comes into their apartment and he's trying to figure out if Jimmy and what's her name.

I don't know. No, it's not Chico. It's some other guy who's maybe one of Chico's cousins. I don't remember the plot. Chico. Do I have the name wrong? Chico. Chico.

Chico. Chico. Chico. Chico. Chico. Chico. Chico. I don't know.

It's a great show. I'll help you with names. Thank you. Yeah, from season one, who he goes in there and throws the bomb from breaking down. Yeah, yeah. He's the one who's really fucked up in that. He's actually just insane. He's not stable.

He doesn't even seem to care if he makes money or not. Yeah, this other guy is much more calculating, and that's a scarier kind of evil. I liked Gus for that reason. He was my favorite bad guy throughout the entire part of Breaking Bad. I mean, he is the main bad guy in Breaking Bad, fair enough. Yeah, it was cool to see him in Star Wars. Oh, I didn't know he was in that. You didn't watch The Mandalorian? I watched two episodes in Lost Interest.

Did you even make it to the Bill Burr episode? No. Well, shit. It wasn't even one of the better ones. I'm just not a star wars guy i think the bill burr episode stood on its own and what i'm really appreciating in tv kind of what i was talking about before is when like we're telling a 10 hour story this isn't some fucking simpsons episode where you could drop one from the series and you don't miss anything yeah and the bill burr one was that you know what i did get up i got up

to the bill burr one and i stopped after that that's right so i got a couple of good part yeah that's okay i'll jump on the obi-wan show and i'll watch two episodes of that who's the last two episodes of matalorian are excellent who's the hot m&m mma fighter female mma i didn't recognize her in that at first. Very attractive young lady. And she does the fight choreography really well, obviously, because she's a mixed martial arts fighter. Yep, yep. And then, I mean, I won't belabor this because I've said it 10 times,

but she moves like an athlete. She's an actual fighter. Sometimes when I see really pretty girls punch, I get super irritated by that and it's not just punching it can be jumping off a table you know and it's like oh you don't do that athletically you do it like a model and it's not a sexist thing for me either because when i see liam neeson climb a fence yes i'm like dude i'd kick your ass yeah a lot of aging action stars yeah um how much kung fu you know either you look brittle before everyone turned on steven seagal i did because he was just

moving dumb like he runs like a girl he runs like a girl and and he would fight in like really dumb ways i think i saw him beat up a bunch of people with a credit card once and i was like this is just that was a sharp credit card that was a trick credit card all right that was that i'm okay with he had a razor blade and his opening move was to slash three guys throats that that's just that just works it's true what are you six foot four so he's got the reach to make a move like that work but when i watch him like punch and lunge and stuff it's like you know i can see that after a lunge like that why they cut the camera off you because two people helped you up like that looked ridiculous one of the and one of his uh uh comtown i don't know if you're familiar with

their youtube stuff but they did a whole thing about Steven Skull. I'm pretty sure it was them that did it. They're showing clips from some of his recent stuff. First of all, he's 200 pounds overweight. That's a lot of pounds. He should be walking around like 170. He's walking around like 170. I'm Googling you. Steven Skull 2020, 200 pounds overweight. Come on now.

He's got this leather jacket always fully zipped up. He looks like a package. And he's just... There's one part where he's sitting on the bed with a girl and there's about to be a love scene and someone had mercy on the girl

because they just cut away. And the jacket never comes off throughout the whole love scene. Another time he's in this military movie where he's with these special recon, top-tier Navy SEAL dicks in a desert city. And one of them gets shot. He's down. But there's still gunfire coming in. So Seagal's got to get this guy out of the

street so he like grabs that guy by his collar and it's so obvious that a wire is dragging the person and steven seagal is just sort of limp wrist like like it's a like it's a bag of groceries just walking along like walking it looks like he's walking a dog like he's dragging a full-grown man yeah i mean he's maybe not 200 pounds overweight but he is well over 100 pounds overweight his hairline it looks so fake it's painted on at this point like look how dark his his goatee and his hair are like in in some of his new stuff in this picture in particular i don't know if you can get in close i hope the the viewers can see it well enough but do you see how the this front patch of his hair is just like curly and not part of the rest of it yeah it's not real it's painted on i guess i was actually watching a YouTube video on hair transplant surgery today.

I was curious. And it was this chick who got it. I guess what she did for years and years and years, she likes ponytails. So not only did she put her hair in a ponytail, but she put it in like a tight ponytail. And I didn't realize it, but that makes you bald like here as it like pretty much pulls the hair out. There's a term for it like stress-induced alopecia or something induced alopecia. And

it did a couple things for her. Like one, she just liked her open face and it like did a facelift kind of thing to her face when she... She wasn't surprised. Like I guess it just like youthfulized it. I'm making up words. And it made her eyes more almond-shaped.

So you can picture this is a ponytail that is like a facelift, that it's so tight. And she went bald on the side. So I learned what hair transplant surgery is like. And they take it. I didn't know how it worked. My dumb ass thought they took like a patch like all right we're gonna take like a six inch wide football shaped patch out of the back of your head and then seal it back up and then we'll put that patch somewhere

like i don't know i'm like how the fuck does this work we gotta ask anthony kumia next time he comes on about that oh did he have it done? Yeah, he had. He doesn't like when you call them plugs, but he had hair plugs put in. So what they do now is they go to like the back of your head where there's usually no baldness or even thinning happening. Like people who are bald, bald, have nice like back of head hair, like by the plum. And they remove like a third of it but i guess you don't see or notice it like you've got plenty and they remove the hair follicles one by

one it like sucks out through kind of a vacuum and you're um anesthetized and stuff and then they put them back in one by one and weirdly they fall out and then grow back or like it's really normal six or eight weeks later it's like transplanting grass okay grafting maybe and then um then they put it back i think trump had a different kind of hair transplant i've read someone who theorized it where they actually did take a patch and then put that patch elsewhere because this is how they did it like 30 years ago and that's why he has that really complicated like set of comb overs that geometry that is the trump haircut i was thinking he's just like really desperately holding on to what he has left and that's the reason for like the weird thatch work wicker basket look where it's like you have

to make sure every angle is covered by i'm only as good as my sources, but it's not normal balding, right? Because he has pretty good hair here. I'm looking at it right now. It's not bad. Then he has to comb it in a bunch of different ways to cover the spots. It's better than Biden's. Really? I just clicked over to the live debate just to get a literally current view of what's going on.

Biden happened to be leaning forward and so did Trump. And you can see Biden's entire scalp. Can you link the debate? I'm not watching. Yeah, we're not going to watch it or anything. When you Google Trump hair, you don't get flattering photos. So it's not fair.

Of course not. I'm not trying to stack the tech. Some of these photos are funny. Obviously fake. That CNN guy showed his dick. It looks like they've already like purged a lot of the pictures I was looking at off Google images. I was trying to find one. I saw one of the fat guy who I thought was him standing up with his dick out, but I guess I can't find it.

Damn it. Oh, well. Yeah, NBC is fact checking the debate as it goes i would definitely agree but yeah something Biden's hair is very thin he's looking down now it's thin on the top but it i guess it depends what you prioritize to me when i see the part side of Trump's hair it looks pretty good right so my case would be turning in this direction like i i feel it's good from straight on and the other side there's like weirdness that you don't see on other hair like it it's like what the fuck is going on with your hair from some directions and from other directions it looks pretty solid to me biden looks normal but normal

isn't great we ever had a bald president? Like a full-on, they shaved it, like not olden days where they kept the Costanza look. Have we ever had a full-on bald president? I'm Googling it. Can I say what Trump just said? I've turned the debate off. I'm not going to watch it while we do the show,

but I heard what he said. They were talking about how illegal immigrants come in and they do that catch-em-a-lease thing where they say, all right, you're illegal and we know it. Your court date is on this date. Show up for your court date. You got to make your promise. Yeah. Make your promise.

And Trump was saying, none of them show up. They don't show up. We've got to send ICE out to go try to find them again. And Biden's like, they show up. They show up. They do. They do. to go try to find them again and biden's like they show up they show up they do they do and trump's like i hate to say this but only the ones with really low iq show up and then obviously okay um we're gonna move along now is he wrong only the dumbest person would be like i was told to report report here for punishment for the law I broke. So I'm going to, no, I have to be there.

I have no time for breakfast. I don't want to be late. I'm like, who are you again? Oh, I'm this guy. You'll find me under this pay. Well, we'll look and we'll try to punish you today. It's going to be a hard time finding you. I'd like to be sent promptly back to to honduras please today if

possible yeah that's that's pretty funny i'm looking at lowest iq show up i mean i don't think guys wait this is so six to eleven percent don't show every year how did they know well they know i don't know i googled it this is the first source i found you're saying 95 of people who are told you've broke the law return here for punishment that's there's between 84 no between 94 to 89 is this estimate that show up um i guess i i googled it because i-checking. I know people love this. But this was – That one was the Washington Post. Oh, Eisenhower had hair on the top.

Oh, yeah. I was looking for bald presidents. I didn't get like a real cue ball. I'm looking for another source, one that maybe – See, Vox says 99% show up. Yeah, I'm looking for one that like here politifact let's see what they say um there's no way i would show up if you were guilty i guess not but they're all guilty well yeah so yeah you're guilty of breaking into a country here. According, I know people, I feel like I'm going to get haze for the return of fact checking.

According to justice department data from the last five years, 60 to 75% show up of non detained migrants. Yeah. I wonder if that, if that's like a P includes like a lot of people who have been here for a long time and already have roots down in communities. Because I'm thinking specifically of the ones who are like, aha, we caught you coming right across the border.

Yeah. This is conflicting because this one says, in September, the Justice Department – Which one? The first one you linked to me. As of April 2019, out of approximately 7700 total removal orders for rocket docket cases over 6700 were in absent absentia absentia is that how you say it that's 80 that's 87 it seems like there's people arguing throughout this article and i am

losing interest and rampant i hear you so i'm not losing interest i'm afraid i'm losing my audience though like that that's my concern yeah he's out there like keep taking yeah no no if we're not on the show i read about this for the next two hours you know but uh but on the show you got something about uh piss yeah something yeah right which one of you is gonna drink your own piss oh that's what i'm here for. Tell me more about the couples that are going to fuck on the weekend. Yeah, this is more our speed. This judge was sitting in judgment of an issue regarding a penis pump

and it was found that he was using said pump under the desk as he was giving justice. Well done, Taylor. I got us back on track. Read the title. Penis pump judge faces stiff sentence.

Retired U.S. judge is himself a red beak. Which I don't believe already. On charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others. Oh my god. Indulging in pantomime masturbation. That's ballsy.

The witness in the trial has been former court reporter Lisa Foster and giving testimony she wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar shh in the courtroom to her boss. I was really shocked. I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre. Foster further testified

that during a 2002 trial she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandmother she continued the grandfather was getting real teary-eyed and the judge was up there pumping on that pump oh that's oh man he got away with it for a while the next paragraph begins the judge's name is Thompson. Thompson's pneumatic proceedings came to an end after a police officer heard the pump's distinctive signature during a case and faces the possible withdrawal of his substantial $7,500 a month pension. Do penis pumps work? Is that a thing that makes your dick?

No. No, it's supposed to get your dick hard. Remember Austin Powers? No, that's not true either. I thought it was supposed to make it bigger. So here's the thing that I'm stuck on. It's supposed to make it bigger. It doesn't make it bigger. No, it's supposed to. it bigger so here's the thing that i'm stuck on it's supposed to make it bigger it doesn't make it bigger no it's have you ever tried it yeah i've tried one before okay because here's my thought i have two pieces of proof that say it may work um i have seen something

like a penis pump used on a labia and it made it all swollen i have also taken a cup as a child over my mouth and sucked on it and then when i take it off my lips were like i did that also right right so so if it works on my lips and it works on chicks downstairs lips i'm open to the idea that it might work on a dick. It's inflatable. No. Dude, I did that with – Anything you risk breaking blood vessels in your penis and it not working as well in the future. You cannot stretch your penis. You cannot inflate your penis. Now, what you're thinking of, Taylor, perhaps maybe what you're thinking is there is an implant that you can get right in your gooch where you've basically got the nipple off of a football. can get right in your gooch where you've basically got the nipple off of a football and you and you can uh insert a thing and you have a little pump so that's just the that's what erections that's

that there's an implant in your penis that you inflate to get erect that's see and i know what you're saying and i'm not saying obviously a penis bigger, but it is a pump that will suck blood into your penis. But then it will immediately leave. Wait, wait, wait. I want to read this. So this is Healthline.com. It's an actual legitimate health website. It's not like a sex thing.

I've read about all kinds of things on Healthline.com. What's the short answer? Yes, penis pumps do work for people, at least for what they're intended for, which may not jive with how a product's advertised or your expectations. There's more. What can a penis pump do? Let's start with what it can't do, which is give you a bigger penis. Contrary to what some internet articles and retailers might promise.

What they can do is increase blood flow to your penis to help you achieve or maintain an erection so that you can have penetrative sex sure you may gain a teeny bit of extra length from a pump but that's a temporary gain for someone with erectile dysfunction penis pumps are less expensive and generally safer than other options so and it can be used alongside uh things like blue chew it's speaking i actually want a larger penis there is a surgery for that we'll talk about that that and we'll talk about that you can lead us through that after this but we just learned penis pumps very dangerous you're going to break capillaries blood vessels kyle you seem to know what you're talking about that's

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at checkout at bluechew.com just pay five dollars in shipping get yourself some free dick pills check them out free is a good price don't go to ridiculous nonsense like a pump you're gonna hurt yourself kyle's very well versed in the dangers of this he's a resident expert exploded it exploded exploded and blue cheese never exploded his penis again and i was there i it was horrible i'm still a little traumatized from it and don't ask why i was there so what is the pumping what is this thing you were talking about you're talking about what he was saying that, you know, some people who are trying to maintain erections,

uh, use a penis pump in concert with a cock ring. And so you just, you fill it up. And then I guess the cock ring stops the blood from flushing back out. Yeah. Okay. Well,

you don't need any of that nonsense. If you got blue chew, you really don't. Blue chew. It does what it says on the tin. Yeah, you can get surgery to make your penis bigger, but there are some risks. Is it bigger? They'll cut too hard and cut it off.

Longer. I saw a guy on a talk show once. This was a long, long time ago, and he had a surgery that Kyle referred to earlier where there was like a little, like maybe next to his dick or something, a little, he could pump it up like an old nike or reebok shoe the air maxes yeah yeah and uh he was so happy with this thing he's like all guys should get it just as a backup and oprah's like well i don't know about all guys like like you know maybe just guys that are having

erectile dysfunction he's like no it's great everyone needs one of these get yourself a pump and your dick can you know where your stock is invested he was he was really pleased oh we call the air cock yeah you don't want that uh but there is that surgery where like they like detach the they detach a thing like around your gooch area and they give you more shaft but then like i guess like something about like like now that it's detached down there from the muscle that like your penis is more floppy and it's hard to like keep a stiff erection like it's just one you can't do that move where it comes out and you put it back in no hands oh what's what's the benefit of this surgery it seems like but you deal with floppy bad erections and your

erections bad it's it's you don't have a stable base anymore because like because like it's been oh so woman on top would be terrifying that's terrifying anyway if she gets out of hand things can go awry like look there's there's a lot of great sexual positions and they all do more or less the same thing but there's just the one sexual position that has a 3% chance of breaking the most precious thing I own. That's why I put a belt around her so she can only go three and a half inches off of me. Three and a half inches chosen at random. We don't want to lift it off four inches or it could be catastrophic.

This is your captain speaking. Be sure to fasten your seatbelts in such a treasurally upright position that you're cruising at three and a half inches. This will be a mid-flight meal and definitely a nap. Yes.

We're going to be cruising in about three and a half inches. Your pilot's been taking lock and load, so if you're a life preserver, it's under the bed. That's what the belt's really for, to keep her from firing off

like one of those cheap rockets that get the thing. You stomp on the thing and she's on her home rocket. rockets two liter bottle involved shooting yeah i want to have some fun with the artwork on the bottle but i also want a product that might actually sell yes we can do both of those things yin yang there you gotta find the perfect balance between just serving my own selfish comedic purposes and actually selling a few thousand bottles. Yeah. Well, and it's got to be on a subscription model.

I think what we're looking at is either what you said, like little packets of pills or like a loot box type thing where you get a box with three bottles of pills maybe. I don't know which substances can be combined. Like I said, that's going to be a Derek thing. I was going to message him today with my final formula because I think I got it. But I didn't wake up until, what, 6 p.m.? And we do this show at 7 p.m. So I'll probably wake up after the show. I feel like your sleep schedule, you'll be on point for a while and then just out of nowhere has it been

no he's he's just been inverted kyle's getting up early at six every day like a disciplined marine just p.m instead yeah that literally is it i get up at 6 p.m. I go to bed at about 9 a.m. I sleep from 9 to 6. And then I'm up the whole rest of the time. No naps or anything. I got a lot going on. I'm doing some stuff. And playing a lot of Vermintide.

Getting real good. Nice. We have the squad a little fractured right now. There's some. Oh, no. There's a lot of anger. A lot of vitriol last night at the end of the well you know we failed a few times failed a few times whose fault

was it they know whose fault they were so i'm telling was it clear whose fault it was and yeah now are those people not putting in the time are they not gifted gamers like make a mistake you know we play the same map again and again and again. Everybody knows how to play the map at this point. And if you trigger a fucking patrol and they come and slaughter us, then you lost the game for us. I'm playing the

double dagger elf now. It's pretty crazy. Do you think she's better than the full auto elf? She fills a different role you know i now i'm the guy who kills monsters and uh and the elites which i didn't feel like anybody else was doing so somebody needed smitty did that pretty well in our sessions of course we weren't playing legend but yeah it's a little harder on legend that magic sword isn't quite as magical

yeah i'm leveling up my dwarf i haven't opened a single common i know people love verment i talk but i haven't opened a single commendation chest so when i get to it said max level which used to be 30 if i recall it seems like it's 35 now 35 now you need to open up enough chests so that you have some stuff to play with that's not true i think because leveling up now is about a game and a half and i need to go 14 more levels so it's like i can play 20 more games and then level but it's a low cost like you could just open up like two crates three chests my lowest item is worth like 250 points like it's not like it's junk. Yeah, that's not bad at all. The other thing you really need to do is upgrade everything to amber.

You need to be using amber stuff because you get the two properties and the trait. My weapons are both amber, but the other stuff is... Oh, and my weapons are both amber. One thing, my necklace is red, so amber. Yeah, that's really nice. Am I a peasant? So the only difference between only thing amber is that the traits are all maxed instead of being you like because what i do is i just re-roll 30 40 50

times if i have to until like the traits have you leveled up more than one character kyle um no no i've just got the elf at like level 60 or something now. And I've got like a level 10 dwarf. Oh, well, then you already know. I've got the zealot at like level 43 or 42. I've got a dwarf at 23. And that's it. When you, as listeners probably don't know, but the weapons don't seem to carry over. So if you level up an elf and you go to a dwarf, then your weapons suck.

But the other things like the necklaces and amulets or whatever, they work. So you can get high level stuff from your other dude onto your new dude. Are you going to try grinding out a victory or two after the show tonight? Of course. Maybe I'll join you. I was thinking

that too. Is anybody else playing the Zealot in your group? If we find someone who doesn't play the Zealot it's what we can just do. There's like four or five guys that play the game at a high level. He's the most fun. I'm glad you like your Zealot. I'm liking my Dwarf and it doesn't seem like there's a big line for the Dwarf either.

I want a Dwarf in every game. Not a lot of people play Dwarf. I want an Elf in every game because she gives you health as a passive bonus. Does your new Elf have that too? Nope. dwarf i want an elf in every game because she gives you health for as a passive uh bonus does your new elf have that too nope i would miss that i missed that today when i was playing solo i wish the fire lady was good because there's so much potential there to be really the fire lady is good if they're good i thought you should choose like the worst i mean they're all good i mean

they're all meant to be good the fire lady is just the most annoying to play with um unless they're do they can do this temporary health bomb or like throw a bomb at their feet or something like that or around the team and everybody on the team gets like a full bar of temporary health it's really effective stuff like that is fun when you're with friends because like if i'm playing with my friends their health is as important as my health when i when you play with randoms online, it's not like that. No one's sharing health very much. No one's doing the passives correctly. Everyone's out for themselves in a way.

I played with some rams this morning and everybody was real cool about health and stuff. They would give me potions if I needed them and I would always not be greedy with the potions if I saw them. I should probably step up a level. My guy's 21 or two now so he could be a champion it's just legend is i think legend you need to be like in

the you need to be like 600 or 700 600 to 650 uh character power before you fuck around with legend i think my guy's 450 yeah i think i'm at 600 So I need a little more boost. I'm about 600, 620 or something. It's rough. I think even my good guy's at like 570. Like he's not that high. We've been making it to the end of the Screaming Bell mission pretty consistently, but the final encounter is really hard. With the

Rat Ogre? It's not the Rat Ogre. We can kill him really quickly. It's what happens between getting there and the Rat Ogre. It's cutting all the chains down's what happens between getting there and the rat ogre it's cutting all the chains down while dealing with the horde and the specials storm vermin on the lower levels cutting the chains is super easy as you know yeah yeah i mean we can cut chains it's just dealing with what comes with that the horde is so big and we're all split because we're cutting the chains it gets pretty rough you need

a fun game i don't think you'd like world war z it's not as complicated as vermintide but it's a similar co-op but it's a shooter it's like a new left for dead but third person yeah the character i play can remotely revive people and that's a super power like you're down it's like i got you bro and you bring them up from a distance yeah that's huge that's heroes yeah i don't think my team uses enough uh alts that are like that to that are revivals uh we need we need more of that on our team i think that would help us a lot because when someone goes down often it's like well they're dead now yeah the the reviving is huge and um the kinds of things that cause people to go down are huge right like when you play the game at first anyway it seems like the skaven are a big problem like all these

like oh my god there's like 37 rats on the screen this is an issue dude they're they're just trash right you know the youtubers i watch refer to them as just trash characters it's not a problem did i name them right the skvens, the naked pink rats? Yes. Yeah. Well, those are, I mean, the rats in general are scaven. Okay. So anyway.

Those are scaven slaves, the little pink fellas. The lower characters, they're never the ones that knock your team out. Even if there's a hundred of them on the screen, they're rarely the problem. But one assassin knocks a guy down and you have to stop what you're doing to pick that guy up and to kill the assassin and whatever like that's big you're um ranged elf okay you kill the most characters but i feel like your biggest contribution is taking out all those specials before they even caused a problem like i don't know if other well you play with good players now but a lot of people wouldn't appreciate how big a deal that is but no no no those specials were

the biggest problem my dwarf has no range weapons so they're really hard to deal with the you should i feel like you should use the the um the armor dwarf that has the smoke bomb alt because because that he throws that and this big everything everything goes gray and you're just hidden for like five ten seconds and nothing everything goes gray and you're just hidden for like five ten seconds and nothing can touch you so you can just get revives like it's nothing there's a world war z character my world war z character does that there's a fixer and he throws this blue smoke and then all the um zombies are not aggressive in it yeah like you said it's the revival you know it's and i like I like having the shield and the axe.

Just shield bash. And you can block machine gun fire. You can block warp fire fire. Anything that's projectile, you can block. It does sound like it's the one for higher levels. I am so loving the dual wielding axe, though. Like, he's... Basically, I take out the trash with him.

And I really enjoy that gameplay. Like, there's a whole horde. It's me versus 37 guys. And I take out the trash with them and I really enjoy that gameplay. Like there's a whole horde. It's me versus 37 guys. And I just work the edges and they're all stabbing where I used to be. And when I hit characters, my character gets faster. So after a while, he's like 30% faster and I'm just zipping around.

Like I'm running cheat codes. And I don't think like if you needed someone to really fill a role, like you're fully auto weapon elf probably does it even better. You know, I don't think if you needed someone to really fill a role, your fully auto weapon elf probably does it even better. She's getting collaterals all the time with her arrows. That's more efficient than me working the edges of a crowd. The wraith is really fun too, the elf I'm using now, because her ult makes her invisible for a long period of time,

and then she gets all those bonuses for backstabbing things. So there'll be a long line of them coming toward us so i'll just go invisible and walk through the entire line and then turn around and like karate chop my way back to my team and uh i don't know it's really fun especially like i one shot the chaos warriors and her i kill the bosses so fast and the monsters super fast and when she backststabs, the timer for the Wraith goes down really quickly. So I was trying to describe that in the other day when we were playing. When people do solos, they do that. Yeah, there's a bunch of bonuses for backstabbing things. Like I'm doing like 75% more damage.

And a backstab to anything man size is just an instant kill anyway so backstabbing like a chaos warrior flyer and wraith is always an insta kill and backstabbing like a like a rat ogre takes like i don't know ten percent of its health and but i can chain four of those together so really quickly it's down when you it's a lot i like the game it's addictive um and the fact that the ceiling for the skill is so fucking high i started watching that youtuber jay sat i think you've watched him before he's the redheaded guy with the glasses i think that's the one i've been describing yeah he's so good yes so really good uh it's it's really fun to watch him play he's like uh he reminds me a little bit of filthy um yes and uh except red-haired and uh not quite

as handsome and uh and he's really fucking good at the game and he's got like videos where he's coaching people through various skill levels and so those are very informative and then he's got entire mechanic videos where he's teaching you how to strafe jump and and all sorts of other things like that so really good youtuber he i don't think he even does it anymore. It's been like a year since he's made a video maybe. Yeah, his videos were coming out when I played the game. And he uses that Wraith elf to great effect. I think he maybe kills his teammates and then deals with all the monsters and just does it all solo somehow.

Yeah, some of the older videos before there was a mod for true solo, with all the monsters and just does it all solo somehow. Yeah. Some of the older videos before there was a mod for true solo. He would just kill the AI really quick. But, but now there's, there's mods for true solo. So those people just turn off any assistance and play by themselves. Yeah.

So anyway, that's probably enough vermin tide talk, but yeah, I got six levels today today we'll make my characters viable for some and the team play later on nice yeah i'm having a blast with that game i wonder how the debates are going i don't know i tried to get your response from twitter uh trump falsely claims 180 million people will lose health care if Biden wins. Does Biden want a fracking ban?

Who pays tariffs? China or the taxpayers? Where does Kamala Harris? Is it Kamala? I think it is. Staying on health. She's our new spokesperson. She's probably out of our price range. Kamala Harris.

Kamala Harris. Oh, we hire a look-alike kamala harris hi kamala harris's look-alike uh yeah i'll probably watch these debates um afterwards at some point on my own yeah but i don't know if they make a difference i feel like this election period even more so than most minds are made up now that might be a new trend maybe next election period minds will be just as made up but either at this point nobody's undecided so i'm not sure a debate is going to change much yeah see yeah probably not i agree with you yeah and then kind of ready for this fucking season to be over so people not talking about it as much but just depends some of the clips

very funny very entertaining and interesting other things it's just grading just every day feels like the same there's a new fucking fucking fire, fire, wolf, wolf. And it's like, my God, like, just calm down. It's been turned up to 11 for half a decade now. Chill out. Everybody is like fucking numb to it at this point. Like there's a new bombshell every 40 minutes. It feels like I have an idea for improvement. Taylor, I saw it on Reddit.

What if instead of Inauguration Day being in January, it was midnight of the election and the president had to have their bags packed like it was The Bachelor and they didn't know? That's way back. Right? They pack all their bags and they maybe get evicted that night. Oh, and the new president gets to put out the old president's torch. We're combining shows, but this is an improvement. I like it. I like it i like it i don't understand i won the election why do i need to get polar roaches

you have to do it that's the final thing you gotta eat the cockroaches trump there's a little big brother involved too like why are there cameras in the bedroom jesus christ i love the big brother part it's a lot of fun i feel like i'm on tv constantly all the debates just ended it looks like that or this commercial breaks which would surprise me yeah so we'll see i yeah something tells me that very that everybody's take is going to be that someone blew the other one out of the water nobody's going to go ah neck and neck through the whole thing after the first one i mean i thought i thought maybe trump won like like trump was an asshole but i think that for me an alpha asshole was a little better than a beta nice guy and then uh the poll results on the debate

mirrored the poll results on the voting right it was like biden whatever 51 43 or something like that but after the debates biden's lead improved so i don't know you could argue that's because of the debates or not but it seemed like the outcome of the debates was that biden's poll leading improved so okay then nothing happened for a while we'll see i don't think that i don't think it's gonna change anything i don't think so either the pence kamala one was kind of a tie nothing changed from that and vice president debates don't move the needle much anyway who cares uh the dueling town halls uh i don't know yeah that's lame that's just like a cheap little in you know imitation

of the debates yeah yeah i'm i don't i'm irritated by trump calling out things not being fair he sounds seven years old to me that might just be maybe in my maybe i'm being biased or something but with this whole you're not treating me fairly, you're not fair, this isn't fair. Trump, life has been so much more than fair to you all the time, forever. You inherited $400 million or more. You got fewer votes and you're the leader of the free world. What is this unfairness that you're constantly railing about? Someone asked you a question about COVID instead of your opponent's son.

That's the unfair part of this process to you. And it's just a baby's complaint. You're not being fair. Life's not fair is what my mother would have told me. Like, yeah, not fair. Now what? Deal with what's true. Yeah, he has had a pretty fucking dope life.

Like, that's sick. a gifted super life you know like it is definitely way harder on him than they are on biden so that's true but but he brings it upon himself by lying every time you ask him a question right you know they say hey we're you guys uh you said you were going to implement health care you didn't do it oh it's two weeks away all right two weeks later they ask him about it again they say hey you said it was two weeks time's up you've been saying this for years now what's up and he's like yeah you're not being fair on me why don't you ask me about why don't you ask joe about it like no you when you interrupt the reporter when you lied on your answers then you invite more tough questions if you just answered him openly and honestly, then you'd be treated differently. You're a hostile witness at this point.

You made your bed. It's funny. You said, like, he's the leader of the free world. Isn't that just like us spitting in the face of the UK and France and Italy and being like, you guys all had your turn. We're the kings now. We are the leader of the free world it's the free part that i that i take question to where we could say leader of nato or something and then it'd be unquestionably true russians ah you're not free china no you guys aren't free i bet they feel

pretty free i think i don't know not then that's why they send us those messages knitted into the clothing that we buy from them that say help I don't think they do that and if it did it probably take off as like a fashion thing come on you haven't seen those I've never bought a shirt with a scribbling of help me people have

lots of people have it's a recurring thing where they send notes that are like help me I'm a slave what brands mostly Adidas I would have guessed Nike Lots of people have. It's a recurring thing where they send notes that are like, help me, I'm a slave. What brands? Mostly Adidas. I would have guessed Nike. All day I dream about slavery. That's what made me switch to Adidas sportswear. Also, it's cheaper. You ever look at what a fucking

Nike t-shirt costs? Oh, man. It's because there's no overhead because slaves are so cheap. Literally, a Nike t-shirt is like $45. Is it really? Yeah. You can get like a Ralph Lauren polo for $45.

What's that brand that just says Supreme on a cheap looking t-shirt and it's like $100? I think it's Supreme. I'm not sure. Yeah, that's outrageous. I think it's supreme is i'm not sure yeah that's outrageous might be supreme rapper and that was his line or something i saw a supreme face mask and i was like that does look dope it looks better than all the other face masks somehow i saw a guy wearing a louis vuitton face mask the other day and it was like i i know everything about your spending habits

dude face mask style is like a thing right like if yours is super like loose around all the holes and you know it doesn't work you'd like that's not at the whatever um if it's too small that looks really bad that's like fat guy in a little coat i I just can't help it. If it's too big, that looks a little bad too, right? You know, like XXL hoodies don't make you look skinny. They just make you look a different – like they look bad too. A proper fit on a face mask is – I don't think mine fits that great. I just use the surgical kind with the little cloth elastic things. I kind of like – that one says something.

It says I'm not trying. That's the one they tell you to use. says something it says i'm not trying that's the one they tell you to use that's that even though it says i'm not trying it says i'm not trying but in a way that's like i'm not playing your game right like i wear jeans i don't even know who makes them right but they look what i'm talking about a surgical mat like literally in the lineup it's better than the bandanas it's better than even the k you're rating them by performance not fashion you dodo head this is a fashion work oh we're talking about fashion okay you're right it is a bad look it doesn't look nice if we actually cared about mass working we wouldn't be talking about whether we want the

one made of cloth or the one made of fucking cotton we'd be talking about wearing fucking bubbles if there was actually something out there that we were all afraid was going to kill us would you really go outside wearing a goddamn surgical mask no you'd have a fucking bubble on your head like charlie kelly or you would hide at home yeah on your head gas i do it right i put a bubble all around me like uh ice poseidon i do that we're all just like i can't remember we're all just pretending for the sake of pretending at this point you don't want to be socially shamed that's the that's the main reason people put on their masks like oh i don't want to be one of those people i went for a couple reasons one i hope it does work they say it works all the experts say it works so. So I hope that they're onto something.

They say it helps. Right. Helps. That's a better phrasing. I also, I've grown to kind of like it a little. You know, like I'm in some weird place buying a Monster Energy drink on a road trip.

And I don't know. I'm hiding behind my mask. No one else feels a little comfortable i do not like having a foreign object whenever i'm robbing a convenience store i'm thinking like this is great they're not gonna see this coming i've already got my mask on just like everyone else i'm gonna blend right in it's true it's been great for looting we've seen that over the past few months it's a tremendous a brand new forefront of looting technology in california there's something there there's a there's there's some they're doing something now called the karen act

the karen act yeah it's uh it's karen with a c and it's an acronym i believe um but they're going for karen and it's uh it's making it illegal to call 9-1-1 um for like racially motivated non-crimes how do you even know what does that it's already illegal to call the for like racially motivated non-crimes. How do you even know? It's already illegal to call the police and waste their time. People have been calling tons for like all sorts of nonsense. Especially the ones where they

show up somewhere and they won't let them in because they don't have a mask on. So they call 911. That's now going to be a crime. So now they're saying you can't call the police because someone's not wearing their mask. No, the other way around. You can absolutely call them if they're not wearing a mask. They're going to be a crime. So now they're saying you can't call the police because someone's not wearing their mask. No, the other way around. You can absolutely call them if they're not wearing the mask. They're going to get locked up. Wait, then what were you saying it's about?

If you're not wearing the mask and you're trying to get access and say they're violating my rights as somebody with make-believe respiratory issues. Yeah, I'm a nautical representative of the island of man and i'm sailing down this highway and my privately owned vessel i will always no

registration or nor licensing under the maritime law i will never not take those guys side they're they're absolute unwavering competence in maritime law it's like i absolutely love it like they're never like let me pull up my pamphlet here it's no maritime law subsection a of paragraph three i do not need registration because this is a seafaring land you know what my favorite one is though it's not even the maritime law. I saw this guy who was riding a motorcycle, and they pulled him over for not wearing a helmet. And he said, well, actually, if you look at helmet law, this qualifies as a helmet. And he has a plastic wafer on that's a third the size of a yarmulke. And it is strapped to the top of his head. And he's like, there is nothing in the law of Minnesota which dictates that my helmet need to be of any size whatsoever.

The requirements are that it be made of this material. It is. That it is on my head securely. It is. And the cop is just like what the fuck are you doing see that guy had a great day that guy was driving around

aimlessly for hours just hoping on a prayer to get pulled over loops around the police station oh it's time to lock and load hey bitch I'm wearing my communion wafer yeah that's great. Those guys vary. The sovereign citizens,

they're called, I believe. Yes. And police stops on YouTube that are pretty good. It's a, it might be boring to some people, but do you know the YouTube channel audit the auditor? No.

Have I talked about this yet? There are people who call themselves auditors and basically they put themselves into situations where they would interact with the police, maybe open carrying, maybe filming a government building. DUI checkpoints, I've seen that one. DUI checkpoint, sure.

Now, they're auditors, and they'll go to like a DUI checkpoint and cooperate as little as possible, which turns out to be very little. Like you give your license, you don't ask questions, you don't even roll down your window, you don't take any, you just go. And then like, there are other things like, you know, the cops like, ah, you're being suspicious because you're suspicious. I want to know your name. You have to give me ID. And he's like, what is it about me that's suspicious? And it's like, well, you're wearing a dark hoodie in this neighborhood or whatever. And he's like,

nope, that doesn't count. That does not make a person suspicious. And these auditors, usually they get like a B on knowing the law, but the cops often do worse. And audit the auditor is an actual attorney. He's a a lawyer that's what he does for a living and then he goes and he watches these audit the he watches these auditor videos reputs them on his channel and tells you when people get things right and wrong like this policeman you know was unprofessional he usually the police are the dicks in in his videos yeah well i think that there's a not all of, I think that there's a, not all of them,

of course, but there's a common personality trait in police that they kind of need to alpha and win every situation. And sometimes that can result in making up rules or, you know, I don't know, getting shit wrong, detaining people that don't deserve to be detained.

And you get the outcome. And some of these auditors are making six digits, like false arrests, illegal detainment, stuff like that. And they kind of like, like the whole situation started because you were filming outside on the sidewalk in public into a federal building through the windows at someone in their office doing their job, right? So like, if that's me, I'm being a dick in this situation. They called the police on me federal building through the windows at someone in their office doing their job right so like if that's me i'm being a dick in this situation they called the police on me because i'm filming them through the window in a federal building but it turns out there's like no expectation of privacy

if you can see in there through this from the sidewalk yeah and uh which has gotten me out of many a peeping tom conviction oh close those blinds or i'm looking yeah you cover your windows or i'll see your drugs what i bought that lens for i'm out there like fucking galileo when i'm not staring at the sun i'm looking in your blinds it's full moon he's a little monotone he's not like a storyteller he's just a fact dissector but audit the auditor i've watched enough of and oh i put myself in there i put myself in the video like in make believe and like how would i do not well not well if a cop says i'm doing something suspicious and then i have to show my id i'm like oh shit am i wrong am i wrong

is it suspicious to walk through a neighborhood with one pant leg rolled up when we all know that's a sign that a drug dealer is available for business in 1994 which is a thing um it my friend that's how me and taylor always got our drugs we'd look for one pants look leg up larry and we'd know. Hey, I noticed you got both pant legs. Oh, you're wearing shorts. I'm sorry. That means you're a prostitute, right?

I think that's true. I don't know. Why are you all hitting me? I was told it was true. I'm always good at my sources. So then it's like, oh, like shit have i been that suspicious for one pant leg up what do you like you know am i confident enough that i'm right in my fourth amendment rights to not give my id to this cop who wants to arrest me because if i get it right

there could be a quarter million in it for me if i get it wrong there's 60 days in it for me did you have both your pant legs down it's's good to have your lawyer on speed dial and also have his card in your pocket for instances like that. And say, contact my attorney? No, you call him and ask him what to do. I didn't know about the pant leg rule!

That's interesting ways to get drugs. Hopefully I get update monday on what's going on with my shit my uh my current lawyer had left the firm so uh i'm i'm uh they had to push it off to why my main lawyer i had to one for the the drug stuff and one for the gun stuff so i think the the gun lawyer is going to look at uh look into my my stuff about the appeal and everything so maybe i'll get an update monday it's been been two or three weeks now so i googled the pant leg up thing apparently right leg up is for buying left leg up is for selling this is from 2004 that's not the top result i got though the top result was it's so your chain doesn't get stuck

in the bicycle or your leg does your pant leg doesn't get grease on it from the bicycle chain so look at that that seven-year-old's buying and selling he's a trafficker yeah i've never heard that one before i always just went to some sketchy fucking house somewhere i heard the one for like crack and meth, like real hard drugs where it's like you go and buy something else like a CD and then you take that from a location to somewhere else and then

you give that to someone and they give it to you. Like adding a layer of distance, you know, to make it more difficult to track stuff. If you say so. I've never bought any crack cocaine. I haven't either but it seemed like me spotify has destroyed the crack cocaine industry we're gonna need to subscribe for streaming service and then if so get cracking yeah i'm trying to think who it was who had that

gross bomb because it was comical i was talking about was it a youtube guy no no no this is a drug dealer oh i'm trying to think which one i just were you not able to be supplied by just one kyle no i've had a bunch over the years you know like they either get they either get busted or like the relation like maybe like like one drug dealer was like a friend of my girlfriend right like like so she was kind of tied into my girlfriend and her friend group so when we're no longer together i can't really get back with him like next time i change phones i don't have his number anymore and he's like two hours away anyway so like he's not convenient so i gotta find a new one stop in there so if you break up with your girl he'll stop kind of lose the drug dealer too

that what a terrible like you wouldn't lose your auto mechanic he's being unprofessional you might it's that's how curb your enthusiasm is when larry like divorces his wife like everybody takes sides and everybody's taking her side like he's losing like fucking accountants and restaurants and coffee guys and they're all choosing her yeah the one guy he was the same guy who had like that string of bad luck where like he lost a finger a piece of shrapnel went into his chest and he got all the tendons cut and and one of his wrists so that his hand no longer worked like in the course of three months trying to support his family and that is why he turned to selling marijuana good guy he's telling me this story all bandaged up he's like so i'm hoping that i can just have these plants here and that'll take

care of everything you know i can't get hurt here you know a few months later we find out his wife's been cheating on him he spirals into into depression, loses everything. Loses his house, loses his truck. Poor guy. I wonder where that guy is. Hopefully doing great. Hopefully doing great with his crippled hands. And the other drug dealer, he got busted. He's selling hard stuff?

The problem was he was selling hard stuff. Look, I've never wanted anything but marijuana, but this guy wanted to be some sort of a drug do it. Like, he wanted everything. He wanted to be like, he had like marijuana and like LSD and a few other things, like pills, I think. And he wanted to carry a gun with him while he did it. And I just remember telling him, like, dude, if somebody wants to rob you, just give them your shit.

But having that gun mixed with these drugs is a no-no. You can't have a gun on you and drugs on you. Like you can't do that. And I was like, also, you're carrying your drugs in a tackle box. That to me just screams dealer. Like if you just had like a baggie in your pocket, I'd think user. But you've got a tackle box with everything split up and organized like there's a drawer for each different thing and everything's split up you've got scales in there and a pistol that's no good sure enough like

he's gone they took him away you're right about all that like i don't know unless he's on a wharf or pier or something that tackle box really looks out of place people don't carry tackle boxes around yeah in the south you might it's not even that it's conspicuous it's that once they do find it it's what it says about his level of crime. You know, like, like that's one of the things that annoyed me when I got in trouble, they were trying to like charge me with trafficking. And it was just like, what about half an ounce of marijuana in its original packaging says trafficking to you?

Yeah. Like, like, like I'm, I'm going to smoke off trafficker in America. I was like, that's half an ounce. I was going to smoke that over the next 14 days.

I was going to take care of this whole thing by myself. Believe you me. You want to watch? Oh, God. If they'd been like, I wish they'd pulled that one. I'll tell you what, if you can smoke all this marijuana while we sit here and watch, we'll call it a day. Oh, my friend.

Of course I could smoke all of this and more while you watch yeah i'd have absolutely don't you think i'm passing this you give me a cough drop and we're good give me a cough drop and a bottle of water and i'll smoke half an ounce before you can believe it i can do a gram and a hit oh you'll be done in what 35 hits is that what it is uh no it's 28 grams an ounce 28 grams you learn them you learn you learn some things along the way the metric system you learn the metric system very quickly the public the public education system failed me terribly, but marijuana use, you really pick that stuff up. It was on a Gordon Ramsey episode.

I was watching on stream last night where he was like, does your chef make their own raviolis? And they're like, no. And he's like, so you know how to make raviolis? She's like, no.

And he's like, 500 grams of flour, you know, drizzle of olive oil, this, that, the other thing. Gives it to the waitress.

She takes it back, gives it to the owner, and she's like, what's this? 500 grams? What's grams? She's, like, freaking out. Oh, that's a great show. They should get the pothead. I got you.

It starts measuring it out. That was one episode where, like, near the end of it, like, the head chef admits to coming into work on meth. Yeah. You know, that restaurant did not survive i like it when uh like he goes there initially he's very impressed like look at these desserts this place is magnifique and then they find out they're all from like walmart or something they store buy all their desserts and he gets mad that was that one episode yeah amy's baking company that happened yeah and he gets mad. That was that one episode. Yeah. Amy's baking company. That happened.

Yeah. I don't know that it was just one episode. A lot of people buy store-bought stuff or they, I was surprised to learn how much restaurant food is just heated up, like manufactured food. Yeah. Yeah. What is this that you linked Woody?

I know we're getting up close to time. Body standards from across time. I thought it was kind of interesting. I don't know if we've looked at it a long time ago i bookmarked it in like 2017 but uh yeah pretty presumptuous to be like uh yeah those 400 years it was this what are you talking about there's no way. I don't know. You think they're onto something here? Not with the 1400s to 1700s. That's weird.

I don't know about the 20s. I like that she's got the artwork to back it up in the background. In 2018, she inflated her lips and put on more makeup. It's hard to see, but she did botox lips with her kim kardashian look 1990s looks like a starving person night that one no that one i can vouch for that was like the style and it's part of that i find most interesting um i looked at a sports illustrated model from like 1990s no but no but it was just about like sort of an athletic really flat tummy thin thing like that's what the style was and um now if you want to be

hot like if you want to be banging you have to have a banging ass i don't know that 2018 is on target. Maybe that's excessive. Maybe 1950s, though. Yeah. That might be... Yeah. To me, that's a little bit fat. They're going for Marilyn Monroe there. But... That is not fat.

You don't think? 50s? Not at all, dude. All right. I don't know. Who would... Woody has standards like i had who's um natalie portman right i think she has a really like a nearly perfect body and she's you know a little like a like a 13 year old boy very way let me look Like a 13-year-old boy.

Very way-fetched. Let me look. She looks like she's on day three of a disaster. Like nice and pale. 72 hours of food. Starting to get out. Let's do Jessica Alba then. She's a good example. Why would you put her in here?

Big butt, medium boobs. She's somewhere around like our current standard or like the 90s to 2000 that she doesn't really fit into any of these she's a little i don't know she might be very much like 90s to 2000 no she's not nearly that skinny she's she's got big big butt and uh pretty big boobs. They're kind of medium. Jessica, that was really hot. She's maintained it too. I'm going to try and find a...

I really want to see her butt. There's a bunch of... You'll find some beach pictures where she's in sort of a cheeky bathing suit bottom. you can see your butt yes all these pictures are even if you search jessica alba prime but they show her front here is a pretty good jessica picture i assume that's her

but that to me will show everybody uh hang on i'm gonna help you with these pictures yeah i'll take some help but but this picture chat chat like i'm on twitch to me is very much comparable to like this one i'm helping hang on a bigger butt pic you're looking for? Of course. Good. Ooh, this one's pretty. Yeah, I know that one's existence, but one of, all right, it's sexy as fuck, but it doesn't really show. Mine might be from the same day. Is that the same bathing suit? Okay, I'm on board.

Right? That to me is like just about perfect female form and if i'm trying to pick like which one of these women it is it's i was gonna say 20s but i think the 90s to 2000 girls a little bit bigger yeah yeah 20s 20s and 90s very little butt action we can throw away the 1400 to 1700 because they don't that's outrageous very rubenesque so 90s is it's too small 50s looking good let's look yeah but i think if i were to land on perfect 90s to 2000 would be my answer and that's not far from the jessica alba pic maybe a little thinner jessica alba is better than any of these photoshops true 2018 looks fake like 100 fake they're all a little fake because it's all edited

but it's a little there, but there's something uncanny valley about that ass in 2018. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I think it's modeled after Kim Kardashian, who's also fake. Interesting, Kyle. Let's see. I will not be sharing. Oh, yeah.

She looks really thin in that picture yeah too thin yeah i don't know i think it's interesting however like people say oh body styles change over time we learned that in school i think they told us that to make us feel better about whatever body we had oh yeah in the 1400s they liked fat chicks there's really nothing wrong just build a time machine you dumb bitch no that that was the most ridiculous thing is they they took like what was back then which is like wow she's not way fishly thin she must have at least some means for like, you know, millennial women to be like, they liked gross

fat slobs. They would see me barreling in on my rascal into the court and they'd be like, oh lady! Oh dear! No, they would have burned you at the stake. Oh, it's the Duchess of York! Look at her rolling along! Yeah, can you imagine? They'd probably

like send you to jail if you were that fat. You'd be like, this is the level of selfishness and complete nonsense in the rest of the community I've never seen before. Did you eat your children, madam? You'd be attracted to me. Where did you come across so much meat? You're an absolute balloon.

Clearly hoarding resources. Like a blueberry. Like a blueberry. Oh, an absolute balloon. Clearly hoarding resources. Blueberry. Yeah. Blueberry. During my time, body standards, like ideal women have changed. It's going to Google real quick. It'll change again. I don't, I thought it was weird that it changed in like my time.

You know, I thought it was weird that like it happened so quickly but yeah yeah and of the short course of 50 years of five centuries from the beginning of that graph it's ridiculous that is so lazy of that graph 1400 to 1700 and then here's the 20s. They should have said olden times at that point. Good God. Yeah, right at like ye old olden days. Actually, in the olden days, they liked people who were

fundamentally disgusting. Diabetes was a sign of wealth. My goodness, this man's so rich he doesn't need feet. He can just be carried about by his servants. This woman, Christy Brinkley, when I was a teenager, was the hottest woman on earth. She was the cover of Sports Illustrated. This is literally in Sports Illustrated,

this picture that I sent to you guys. Yeah, she's beautiful. She's got no butt though she's she's a little bit too skinny you have to have a banging ass nowadays she would not have been hot now she was just some show that you're doing some some lower body work i mean there's no amount of lower body work christy brinkley could have done she's just got no genetic but agreed yeah she sits down hurts. We went to strong curves. I think that was the subreddit of women like who really worked to improve

their asses. They were all basically the same. I'm convinced asses are a step away from calves and the ability to like change what you're born with. But Christy Brinkley, if she was trying to be a supermodel today, I think they'd be like, no guys like a little more,

a little more ass than that for sure so maybe i'm the only one that finds this interesting but yeah i thought it was cool i thought it was cool she that's that's sports illustrated that's not like some it's the swimsuit issue that's what hot is at the time or i don't know if that's still true now it's a little more like politically correct don't they not photoshop and such and sports illustrated i'm gonna see what who's on the swimsuit cover of 2020 that might be a bit oh okay what is it well hang on I'm trying to find Is this 2020? Okay. Hang on. They gave me a calendar. I'm sorry. I'm still searching.

It looks like there's three women on the cover. Yeah. They look hot to me. If I'm looking at the right one. Here, I'll show everybody. They found the lightest skinned black chick who exists. is she black in the middle is it yeah oh like i said she's blonde kyle that's what i'm saying she's literally lighter

than the white woman to her left did you see right stephan curry's wife no all right but i'm looking um okay i see her no way dude if she's black you're black kyle this woman she put on blonde hair and she's barely black anymore trying a blonde team for a hot sec. Yeah. So some social media people feel like she's trying to be white. I don't know. She's a great wife. I like her. But when I heard that,

how do you know she's a great wife? Oh, there's, um, it's like a, so there, her and her husband, her husband's a basketball player and they're on social media a lot. And,

uh, she's always like cooking and stuff for him people made fun of her she had the greatest clap back ever they're like all your kids look the same she's like yeah that's what happens when they all have the same baby daddy bang drop the mic um but yeah uh these two are i think she's like she's like part asian right i I don't know. Like a Tiger Woods. Here's a different angle of her, by the way. Make what you will of that. That one's not as flattering. Not as flattering?

No. She looks like she should be serving up some fucking Kung Pao chicken at the mall. Look at how fast she's turning her head. Look at that whip back on the earring. Look how they've drawn a jawline on her, whoever did her makeup that day. Trust me, it'll work. Every time I see a woman with real dramatic weight changes.

Steph, I know you watch our show every week. Sorry. No, no. where i was headed with that is uh i wonder how long it's been since the last baby that's the thing that pops in my head i mean here she is in a swimsuit she's she's looking great oh you mean in that photo yeah yeah that she looks heavy in that photo you're all shy everyone again and i'm like that was 2018 fair enough fair enough um but i didn't think it wasn't just that she looked heavy she just like has an ugly face

she's got a what do you call it ugly face it's hard to tell how good looking people are in pictures anymore like yeah it's still photos in particular i just do not trust like you know people like i don't do phones have facetune or is facetune an app you download yeah there's all sorts of fucking like enhancements on phones instagram reality apps as well instagram reality teaches you all about it and it's it's like fuck you can't go by still shots what do we have here on pinterest just more of her okay like bitch what's why is she so bad she's stealing my she's appropriating my culture yeah that's true kyle is half japanese you've got i Japanese. I mean, she's got two cultures of her own, and she has to slink on into a third that has nothing to do with her?

Despicable. Despicable. I'm offended. Wait, wait, this is my chance to give out a suburbs pass, right? I should give her permission to be white in the same way that black and gay people have done for me. Woody, you're white. You can say whatever the fuck you want about white people. You're not going to get in trouble.

No, this is – I should give – No, he's going to give her that pass. I'm going to give her a suburban pass. This is her opportunity to look and say – yeah. Did I say you're on suburbs? No, no, no. I wasn't correcting you. I was neglecting you.

You're saying anti-white comments, it's an epidemic. Right, so now she's allowed to dye her hair blonde and whatever because I, as a white person, gave her a Suburbs Pass. As opposed to like a Hood Pass. You see how this works? I see, I see. It's just not... It's just not usable.

It's just not it's just it's every bit as usable as my passes to me not at all no if you'll stop beating me up for a moment please please where did you get the acid where did you get the acid? Where did you get the acid?

Did you just carry this around? Be ready at all times with your acid attacks. Doesn't it burst in your pocket sometimes? Probably. I guarantee there's a terrorist who's had his, you know, thigh had a hole burned in it because of some acid. Yeah, I did read a news story about a guy who was trying to acid attack some woman and fucked up and got it all over himself. Ha, deserved it.

Next week is the Halloween episode. Do you have your costume, Taylor? Yeah. I have my idea. I still have to go to the little Halloween store and get it. But yes, I've got my I have my costume. I almost thought it was today

and I was getting my costume ready. And then I looked at my phone and saw that there was another week in the month. I need to try mine on. I think it's going to be hilarious. We'll see how it works. I have high hopes

for it. I'm dressing up as my hero. It's bad. We'll see how it works. I have high hopes for it. I'm dressing up as my hero. There's nothing distinctive enough about him. One year I wanted to dress as a Catholic priest and get my girlfriend to dress up as a young boy and she would not go for it. I want to dress up as a young boy for you. Have some courage, woman.

You couldn't. No, it's just me in a lolly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. have some courage woman couldn't no it's just me in a lolly like a little girl could nail it so well you know like like she just pulled her hair back and put on a little boy with she did not she wanted to be cute though so she i was going to be hilarious i could be molesting you all night it was great going on the fucking raggedy andy style outfit like Yeah, exactly. Like, put little dots on her cheeks, little freckles. Yeah, and I'm just getting real

handsy with her, like, in public, like, dressed as the Catholic priest. I had the full robe and everything and the crucifix. That's a good idea. And I'm just going to show up next week with my dick out. You know, Taylor, it was funny. Initially, we're three hours in.

You can sit down. Thank God for Bluetooth. Am I right, boys? Three hours? What's that pumping noise? Yeah, you're right. I didn't realize there were electric penis pumps.

That's the... It sounds like an air compressor. Yeah. Until they caught that cool judge. Because it was electric. What a weirdo. What an odd thing to be doing. I know.

You have to be a little twisted to do that in a courtroom. He's got to like the thrill of doing it like that's got to be a big part of it like a whole i good thing lady justice is blind because this is messy you might be right you might be i had it in my head i drew a different scenario which was kind of a like i don't like i'm my authority has been so unquestioned for so long in the courtroom i can literally like penis pump my dick here and i am a king okay sure that that's where my head went i don't know if i'm right maybe god knows who who want i don't want to go to the mind of a man who pumps his penis in a courtroom. I do.

I want to hang out with him. I would love to drink with that guy. Just get wasted with that guy. What were you thinking? I got away with it since 78. It would be like, did you ever just sentence somebody for some crazy shit and they don't even deserve it? Just for shits and giggles.

It would be like 30 years instead of like 8 months or something. Oh yeah, all the time, man. I could tell he was a dick and guilty of something. I just didn't like the cut of his jib. What can I say? I was sentencing would get brutal if I was about to cum. Oh god, that's the best sentencing I've ever

laid down. Imagine if that was his kink. Just like people crying or ruining lives. Pumping during teary-eyed testimony. Ten years for loitering? You ever watch those clips? You ever watch those clips of that nice old judge on YouTube? Yes.

When he was nice to people? No. He'll find some guy who was like a fucking like iraq war veteran and he ran a red light on his way to his ptsd therapy and he's just like i'm a just i'm fully disabled i'm a veteran of the iraq and afghanistan conflicts and i was i was just trying to hurry to get to my pts PTSD meeting because when I don't get there, I'm really stressed out and anxious. And I just had to get there on time. And the judge pulls out two of those big blocks and goes, clap.

All right, you definitely are scared. You're not lying. Look at him shake on the floor. I saw this guy. This is why we lost. This guy was like 98 years old. He went like 27 in a 25, and he was taking his son to get chemotherapy treatment.

His son is 70. Yeah, and his son is like 68 or something like that. He's like 97, and the cop pulled him over and gave him a ticket. And again, it was like 27 in a 25. And the judge is like you know he always goes over to the um bailiff like he's the security guy he's like what do you think ardent criminal huh and the guy's like yeah doesn't look good for him you can tell it's gonna go okay they're goofy, you think we should throw away the key on this guy?

That's the job I want. Feel good, judge. Yes. We only get bullshit crimes. Oh, you were smoking a joint at home? Oh. You won a half pound of... Hey, go in the evidence room.

Clean it up. Yeah. All right. It's a supermarket sweep in the evidence room. Clean it out. Alright, it's a supermarket sweep in the evidence room. 60 seconds to get you. I was going for the marijuana. Couldn't find it.

Came out with six pounds of crystal meth. We keep the weapons on the left side. That's OJ's knife. Dude, that would be the best game show ever. Supermarket sweep in the evidence room is great right like oh

to hold this show up I thought these backpacks would be full of pot but it's just bloody clothing it sucks it's just a bunch of destroyed pacifiers well you guys want to call it a show there's a real quick from our friends over at the

national highway traffic safety administration if you've ever stopped at a railway crossing and the signals are flashing and you don't see a train or it appears to be moving slowly and you're thinking maybe you can get across the tracks before the train comes think about this even if the engineer sees you and applies emergency brakes right away it can take the train over a mile to stop. Over a mile to stop. By that time, it's too late and the resulting crash will be deadly. Stop. Trains can't.

Stop. Trains can't. But PKA can, so that's the end.