Painkiller Already - PKA 519 Plastic Surgery wins and losses, Chris Hemsworth Instagram, OnlyUseMeBlade Having Twins

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

pink you're ready episode 519 just us boys taylor thanksgiving episode this episode of pka is brought to you by squarespace and the university of colorado boulder specifically colorado.edu slash grad programs so we're going to talk more about them later for now kyle you were talking about all the exciting fun plans you have for thanksgiving was i was i because i think i was talking about how I'm doing absolutely nothing. But isn't that ideal for you in a way? Like you're kind of a little excited about doing nothing, right? No, I mean, you know, if there wasn't a fucking virus, I would have my whole family here and I would like do my traditional Thanksgiving dinner where I deep fry the turkey

and like the Cajun injection and, you know, the dressing and the giblet gravy. And, you know, I go all out. I like cooking Thanksgiving dinner and it's kind of my way of rubbing it in my mom's face all those years when I was growing up. And she's like, y'all just don't appreciate all the work I put into this. You don't understand how hard this is. And I do it for fun. And I'm just like, well, that was so easy, easy man what did that take me i think i cooked the whole dinner in 30 40 minutes right something like that not even hard i even washed the dishes while the turkey cooked can you believe it by myself yeah does your mom give you side eyes does she know what you're doing no she doesn't know what i'm doing she's just like yeah you did

a great job maybe on the inside she's dying but but you know she she she doesn't acknowledge she doesn't maybe she thinks she raised a you know a good homemaker of a son i am i am a good homemaker yeah i bet i'd love to try your fried turkey oh it's incredible it seems like the whole country has evolved away from the traditional turkey and towards fried turkeys in the last 10 15 years there's been a zeitgeist shift in the United States. We're getting even fatter. It's infinitely better. It's infinitely better. No shit. It's fried. Fried always wins. Always. Pick a food fried versus something else. Fried's going to be the victor 90% of the time. Roasted turkey is so dry

and bland. It's not even good. It's not even good. You have to drown it in gravy for it to be any good. But if you deep fry it, it's incredible. Oreo cookie. Yeah, you can fry those. Is it better? Yeah. Can you still dip it in milk? Oh, you can do whatever the hell you want with it. There's a direct relationship

though with the amount of butter and calories and how good it is to eat. Am I missing the other one? A fried bandwagon? Yes. You got to melt some cake frosting and dip it in that. That's what you do. Milk?

Milk? What do you want? Calcium? No, thank you. I don't let a single vitamin get into my body in the holiday season. It's just meat and protein. I've only had those deep fried Oreos

at like fair, but they're so fucking good. Oh, actually, one time we got real high and we made some at home and they were super good. That's right. I remember that. I'm sure. Have you ever had a deep fried banana?

No. Bananas on their own. That's my favorite fruit. I like a banana before I work out. Deep fried. It's a whole new ball game. It's so much it blows the pants off the regular banana. And you batter it, right? You put it in pancake batter?

Oh, of course. Yeah, you can get it at like county fairs and shit around here. Deep fried banana. What are you doing for Thanksgiving, Taylor? I am going to my well, my girlfriend and I, our tests came back negative and so we're going to my grandparents house with the rest of my immediate family which is just me and my brothers and my grandparents i guess so should be a pretty

small affair they've been i'm sure she'll make enough for the the six of you or whatever that is yeah she's dear she was the one being like now taylor you got to watch that red median take and i was like i know and she's like now i did mike enough tanner lawn for you to bring home and it'll last you a few days now you eat it slow and it's like you can't do this you can't you can't deep fry a turkey and as a side also make fried chicken or fried catfish like that's that's so much fried food to have plus steak yeah yeah and then she's giving you steak to take home while telling you to watch your meat intake yeah yeah give me all that steak to take home while telling you to watch your meat intake yeah yeah well i think last year i talked about i brought home two entire beer like roasted or baked chickens where you like put the can in the ass and it's like all juicy and nice and then uh i i've never been able to

eat all the leftovers and i can eat a lot i really can put it down and i've never i hardly make a dent in it i throw away like three pounds of meat every single time jesus i yeah i just can't finish it it goes bad yeah i'm really excited i'm so excited to go and just overeat as is tradition and just i'm excited about it and i just like i was saying as is tradition so that we have like the regular meal and then we'll go to like a nearby lake and fish and if we catch any catfish like we'll come back and my grandma will immediately start like making up catfish for us and frying that. And it's like there's still Thanksgiving food on the table and she's making new, new and fun meals for us. It's just it's not good for me. It can't be.

We have confirmation. It's not. But I don't want to stop. So we got exposed to covid in my family, I guess late last week and yesterday, which is Tuesday as we record this, we all got tested, but we don't have our results yet. And we're all like, you know, I don't know if we had COVID symptoms, if we have COVID symptoms in the early stages. It's just like a headache maybe

a runny nose it's not so awful that whole respiratory distress thing is like day 12 colin had a temperature today but he was also under a blanket reading on his ipad so it's hot in there you know jackie's like oh he's like 100 degrees i'm like it's 100 degrees in there he's gonna be you know like i i don't know look it's a data point i hear you we'll watch it um and i start coming up like with all these covid symptoms like man i'm dying in tarkov a lot i mean is that a symptom let's google this is that the brain fog i'm forgetting my hot keys uh but i'm not sure i i said it yesterday as we recorded pkn like if you had asked me a few days ago i'd have said maybe i have it but probably don't now i'm like

i might not have it but probably do that's where my head is we'll see what the results come in and the tests are kind of inaccurate but since all four of us got tested jackie i and the kids i feel like you know one for all and all for one on this thing we're basically getting quadruple tests heck just spending all that time in the car together if you've never been covid tested the way we did it anyways you pull out in front of the doctor's office you stay in your car this woman comes in like a hazmat suit as you swab your own nose and return it and just the hour and a half we spent in the car together all for one one for all if any of those tests come back positive we all have it i'm convinced yeah that is confusing too though

because like i had a friend who roommates with rooms with another friend of mine and one of them who still had to travel for work this is earlier on in the covid thing he came back positive with it and they at the time they shared one bathroom it was not a very big apartment it was like they're sitting on the couch together all the time sharing you know uh what do they call them what do they make you call them in the stores uh water pipes uh things like that. And it's like, what? It's like flower. And then the other guy went out and got tested like a week later and negative, negative. He never developed any symptoms.

He was tested negative, I think twice or at least once again after that. And it's like, how does that make any sense? How did he not get it? Hopefully we have better'll be like yeah better covid tests next year that's what i think is good like i think right now remember covid tests were like this big rush six months ago we need to have them everyone who made a covid test no matter how shitty it was got fda approval and then they just blasted it out i suspect that maybe a year from now they'll call the bad tests out.

Elon Musk got tested four times, two positives, two negatives. See what I did there? That's terrible. So I guess, I think you're more likely to get a false negative than positive, but I'm not sure. So yeah, that's why I'm like,

hey, we're getting four tests that'll tell us that'll take anyone tomorrow right tomorrow's thanksgiving so i'm guessing maybe not oh you know i think that's gonna put a little uh kink in the plans but we'll see yeah well speaking of elon musk he became the second richest man in the world this week. Yes. Really? Yeah. He's been storming through the rankings.

What a dark horse. I didn't realize that. Yeah, well, he owns a lot of Tesla stock, and it's been skyrocketing. So, of course, he's not that liquid. Everyone understands that. But still, if you have $100 billion, 1% of that's liquid, and it's an impossible amount of money to run out yeah you know this has been an awesome time for billionaires yes they've been just skyrocket amazon walmart target they're loving this i was concerned about the billionaires during the pandemic but it turns out they're okay yeah yeah we all got our twelve hundred dollars though i guess none of us did

but yeah i don't know dollars got gertrude got hers that's all that matters gertrude got our certain patron friend got his 60 grand is that number anywhere near accurate? Probably not. Okay. He's just riding out the fraud. He's going to be on the lam before too long. People are coming for the bill. I think people are still getting like 600 a week for unemployment, which is good. Right?

That was it for a while. I'm not sure, actually. Something runs out the day after Christmas. It might be that it might be something else good timing what a fun time to make that happen well you know you have it through christmas what else do you want yeah just have this looming over your head right merry christmas fudge benefits end tomorrow um they'll start up something new but not before they make sure all the billionaires are just as comfortable as they need to be. Taylor, I think the best way to do stimulus is to give money to the very, very rich and then count on their generosity to pass it down. That's true. This has worked every time in the past.

I mean, if the last 65 years we'd seen a steady and continuous re-isolation of wealth into the top percent at the cost of the middle class then you might have a point but you point to a hundred independent studies that show that i dare you should they raise the minimum wage i wish i knew enough about it right like no like i i'll like read something and i'm like well that makes a really good point on why they shouldn't and then i'll read something else and like, man, this is making that other guy look like a fool. But now I feel foolish because I was all in with him. So I haven't done my due diligence on that at all. How about you?

I have a lot of thoughts about it. I don't know if I'm right either. So here's the deal. And people have heard me say before, every job, right, high and low, you are competing with two things. Cheaper overseas labor and automation bam right if you're if you're like an american of any pay really you have to be worth more than automation and overseas labor and sometimes you just have things to your advantage like if you're a mcdonald's drive-thru it's kind of nice to have the guy right next to you right you know the one

that took the order it's kind of nice to have him in the same room but it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be you could definitely have a rule in india manning that uh drive-through voice uh for a dollar an hour right he'll do it and and if you go from 7 to 15 maybe that makes sense right maybe they replace you with the kiosk where people press the screen instead of a human just listening to you i would prefer that i would prefer that i haven't gotten like drive through and forever but still i hate communicating with those people through that fucking speaker that that piece of technology has lagged so far behind the rest of human technology it's shocking it's shocking i think you're being overly picky on audio quality and you need to get to woody levels of acceptance i i can i can hear

you just fine and you're in fucking north carolina all right if you give me your order i've got it but this motherfucker who's 30 feet away on the other side of a wall, and I've got a whole speaker, and he's got a headset on, can't figure it the fuck out. And when he comes back at me, I've got no idea what he says. And you want a guy in Mumbai to have that job now. Thank you for coming. You think it'll be worse? What are you two behaving today?

It's going to be so confusing. Can you imagine ordering hamburgers from an Indian who thinks that they're the cows are sacred? Oh my goodness, Mr. Kyle, why would you order such a thing? The chicken on the menu is just as good. Moral arguments from, you know. Oh, would you not prefer the

filet-o-fish? No! No! I like that Kyle's guy got Nigerian, which is great. With a fry flipper, right? The guy that makes the fries at seven bucks an hour. Human does that job at 15 bucks an hour. Maybe it makes sense to invest in a quarter million dollar fry flipping machine.

That's dangerous business. Can you imagine a robot in there with a big tankard of boiling oil? Yeah, but who's it going to hurt? imagine a a robot in there with a big tankard of boiling oil yeah but who's it gonna hurt it's a robot the well there's got to be a human in there like running shop making sure the robots stay working eventually 100 autonomous every burger cooked to perfection every order flawless i go the other way i i think the fry quality will get higher and i think it might be safer i i yeah you probably would be you think some 14 year old making flat french fries is safer than a machine no no i don't um yeah i worked there

when i was 15 for those two those two weeks and we cut a lot of corners yeah have you ever been like corners inside of mcdon McDonald's or inside a Burger King? I've never been inside a McDonald's. No. Well, I mean, I cannot. I know. I genuinely can't remember the last time I set foot in a McDonald's. I've only done drive through as long as I can remember. But I do remember times going in where you like realize like all these fucking fools in the drive through. Nobody's going inside because it's a pain in the ass and it's grimy and that's a reminder of where you truly are and you go in and you start to look

back there as you order and you see the process and the people making the food all like make up a reason to look out into the parking lot because it's like out of sight out of mind i don't have i don't want to imagine that on that obviously ex-felon with the spider webs on his elbows making make well not your kind of felon, the scary kind. How dare you denigrate my people? I had the same joke in my head and I was like cool it, Woody, cool it. It might not be

funny. If he went to a felon meetup, like if there was a meet and greet, he'd be the kind that was sitting back like, alright, let's just let everybody, hopefully they don't call on you. Oh man, these guys are fucking intense. I shouldn't have come. Why did I go to my

prison reunion? My 10 year prison reunion. God, I hope that's not a thing. It's at the prison because half of them are still in. I have a dance. All it is is just the jingling of shackles on the hardwood gymnasium floor. No, homie, I'm gonna

lead. It's no fun. You wouldn't want to go to a dance? No, I wouldn't want to go to a prison reunion dance. All the guys that got turned out in there have to get redolled up at the dance.

Big Butch is like, you ain't ever over me sweet pea. John, why are you putting lipstick on? You're not even gay. You don't know me. I'm not the man you thought I was. I'm not a man at all. Man, that's a fun idea.

That's a great idea. Yeah, well, I agree. I wouldn't go to a party. Kyle, did you see we were at the top of the R Gay subreddit? No. What'd you do? Like, I don't know, five or six years ago, Kyle and I had a gingerbread martini together at Outback.

And the caption was something close to, like, we're celebrating our 10-year anniversary today. And they were very supportive of us, Kyle. Let me see if it was really our gay it might have been really just lgbt or something gay bros my twitch chat made sure i knew about it is it gay bros maybe i have no idea i'm guessing i i was unawares of this these are some risky it was a good picture i upvoted it yeah yeah oh i remember that night well we were in uh i believe we were visiting wings of redemption yeah yeah we that might be in if it's not in

conway it's very close that was the finest cuisine conway could offer outback steakhouse uh outback is not great i remember we had to wait for a table because Wings wouldn't fit in a booth. Oh, that sucks. And there was the only big table that would accommodate all. It was me, Kitty, maybe Kitty's cousin was on that trip, you, Wings and his girl and uh that may have been it so like we needed a bigger than normal table a four top wouldn't do it so and their only like big group

table was housed by it was there was an african-american group there and um they were taking quite a time they were having a ball over. They were just having the best night of their lives. But they'd been done eating for a while. They were just taking the table. They were trying to... They just wanted some more of that brown bread. I think that's all it was. They wanted some more of that brown bread

and to waste as much time as possible. I just remember sitting there being so fucking hungry. I was just looking over at wings like you know any in a normal circumstance five people would just sit at a booth and someone would pull a chair up yeah why the hell would you do that because because his girlfriend also wouldn't fit in a booth pull two chairs up do you two people who won't fit in a booth now you're thinking that they'll you just kind of angle them. Just kind of twist. Right? And then they both get a kind of corner.

And that'll encourage you to not eat as much. I'm not hiring Taylor as my hostess. No. You shouldn't. I wouldn't be likable. They were unpleasant. It wasn't going to work. It wasn't going to work. Just wasted as a hostess like a couple of wild wings.

I used to do a comedy show. He's talking about this made-up internet world he used to be in. But, yeah, I can't find the picture. I would have shared it. I thought it was going to be the picture of us wrestling on the ground. That never happened. That's Photoshop.

Somehow, I'm on top of you holding your wrists yeah yeah it's it's a very good picture i know the one yeah no it wasn't that one that one's i'm sure that one will be in my view soon that one needs to be up there that one that that jesus kyle it's 100 happening now oh i know the subreddit to put it on. I think there's one called Tops and Bottoms. Alright, speaking of subreddits, I already had a couple of subreddits

that I thought were good contenders for subreddit of the week. Since I mentioned it on PKN already, I'll just quickly say that the Bell Delphine Patreon is the subreddit of the week because she started showing titties like right after we mentioned her uh last week so there's and an almost vagina and there's surely vagina is right around the corner she's doing a full hardcore porno with her boyfriend in 30 days from today so buckle up bell delphine fans has it been banned or do i get do i have it wrong

bell delphine patreon um you need you need to include that um so that is my subreddit of the week for sure because we got titties right away yeah top post not sharing with the video no but none of this can be shared. But since it's not really interesting to go back on one that I've already mentioned, I don't want to harp on Bell Delphi. Give us a few good ones and we can vote. I have two that I want you guys to pick one.

My first one is rnsfw underscore plow cam. Plow cam is when the girl has the camera right in her face and the guy is fucking her from behind so you get to see the old face all right big fan of that myself uh that's that that's contender number one contender number two nsfw like not safe for work i linked it hold on don't give us don't give us more we yet. We need to internalize this one first. Okay.

NSFW underscore plow cam. I'm going to tap all time, and you can tell me if there's any on here, Kyle, that jump out at you. Wow, Sweetie Fox. She looks pleased. Sweetie Fox is about to go into another dimension.

She's literally becoming retarded. She's having the common sense fucked out of her right here. She just eyes in the back of her head and she can't breathe. It's a good time. I hardly need to see the next one. This is a, oh, by the way,

hi mom. This is a top notch subreddit dude. So last week I couldn't upload for a few days because I had a strike on my channel. If people don't know anything about this, I guess, yeah, yeah. Only my Twitch viewers knew. So here's what happened. I guess Blue Chew, a step back.

YouTube has a policy against linking to places that give you prescription pharmaceuticals, right? That like, uh, the regulated drugs. And, um,

I argued that this wasn't really a link to a place to buy unregulated, unregulated drugs. Instead, it was a link to a doctor's office where they would give you a prescription. If, uh, if you qualify, which is what it is.

And I won my appeal and they removed the strike. I don't know if that means we can advertise blue chew going forward or not. if you qualify, which is what it is. And I won my appeal, and they removed the strike. I don't know if that means we can advertise Blue Chew going forward or not. Yeah, I'd say so. But I won that appeal, and I was able to upload the video yesterday, I think, something like that. So I felt like that fit into this larger picture somehow. I forgot.

Anyway, I forgot what happened on that topic. I thought it was pretty rare to get those reversed at this point, right? Like almost a shot. I'm not 100% sure. I have a network that I'm still under. I feel like people don't do that anymore. You know, network takes some percentage of your revenue. And it used to be you could be a managed channel. So strikes didn't go directly

on you it was really hard to strike somebody that is i don't know but what i do have is an in that google who can help me appeal these things and that might be why i want or not i'm not sure so subreddit number two is r60fps porn big fan of this now this isn't a specific sex act or position or camera angle it's just 60 frame per second pornography which if you haven't been exposed to 60 fps porn you're missing out you're missing out it's a whole new world it's a whole new world this reminds me of why i brought that up it was like noon noon on Saturday and my mom is texting me. Woody, what happened? I usually upload your videos on a schedule.

It's the middle of the day. PKA is not up yet. I'm like, oh God, she really does watch them. That hasn't changed. So 60 FPS porn is the best. Hi, mom. Yeah, I think this one might have won kyle really taylor you're voting for 60 well i haven't i haven't seen enough yet i just went to top all time okay all right here i've got a specific video that I think might sway you. So this is on 60 FPS porn.

Um, this one is called storm trooper anal. Oh, I love when people dress up. Not only did he dress up, he's in a, I mean, if he were at comic con,

no one would bat an eye. Like, like this is such an authentic storm trooper uniform. Like he, he could be an extra in Mandalorian. Yeah. This is a, he's even in, he's got a pretty good set too like like if that set were in the mandalorian you you know the lighting were a little better that's true it's got numbers on there a control panel there's a

some kind of dentist chair which is probably either torture or questioning by the stormtrooper i've got one of those really Really? No. All right. To be honest, I see you guys both leaning towards 60 FPS. I have something similar. But I like Plow Cam more. I'm saying 60 FPS. I actually prefer Plow Cam, but 60 FPS is a close, close second for me. Dude, the faces on these Plow Cam girls, they're happy they're having a good time that's good it's not that one's bad that's that's what that's what

almost makes me swayed away from it they all seem like they're having a good time i was looking for one where they're not having a good time and that is our our panel. All right. Our panel. Let me, let me find it. Panel. Oh, I know of this one because this is one of your go-tos. It's one of my go-tos.

You've brought this one up before. So any of you who are watching, who are kind of turned off by the plow cam because the girls seem like they're having such a good time. Well, head right on over to our panel. Okay. Cause these girls aren having such a good time, well, head right on over to our panel. Because these girls aren't having a good time. They're having a terrible time.

This is the worst time of their life. Do you think this is often a put-on, Kyle, because they know people that there's quite a market for people looking for the... That's why I prefer the amateur panel. No fakery there. They've got nothing to gain if you top all time

our panel this i mean either give them an oscar or just accept this is real this is oh no she is not enjoying herself the the the worst part about this first of all she's screaming in pain she's like but the guy the guy is equally as vocal with how much he's enjoying this he's like oh oh yeah this is if this is fake this is some good acting. Right? I gotta send this to somebody. If we entered an R panel every year, DiCaprio would never win. No.

These girls are, it's method acting, quite frankly. They're experiencing this. You would need like, you know who could pull this off? Philip Seymour Hoffman got it. You think if we are paneled him? He could pull either side off.

He could play anyone. He could panel himself like one of those Eddie Murphy movies where he's playing every character. What was that one? Big Mama's House? Big Mama's House, yeah. I liked that movie when I was a kid, though.

That's what I was about to say. I was about to say, you know, I bet Big Mama's House isn't nearly as funny as it is in my memory. Agreed. And so I'm going to let it stay there. I'm going to let it stay in my memory so I'll remember it as a good movie. Yeah, pretty much Martin Lawrence's

entire career falls into that same sphere. I don't know him from very much. He was in that where he was a black guy who goes back in time and he's a knight. Oh, like First Knight or something like that? Yeah, First Knight or something. It should have been called Black Knight.

He's wearing a basketball jersey on the cover and he's yelling with his helmet and his sword. sword yeah i remember i liked that movie a lot too yeah that if if that had been a more realistic movie it had been about 12 minutes long because they'd have just slaughtered they just killed the black guy a demon and they just killed him right there a more that's what it would have been if a black guy went back to king arthur's time they'd have thought it was a more and they'd have slaughtered that movie called first not the dark knight although that would also be a better name the dark knight yeah that would have been a good one well what's his name again martin lawrence black knight it is called black

knight no way yeah it's called black knight 2001. Yeah, it's called Black Knight. 2001, comedy adventure. It's called Black Knight. It's got a green football jersey. Yeah, I guess they could get the rights from the Giants or anybody, really. That's a shame. He was a slacker with a job at a theme park. About to receive a big competition for another theme park, Castle World. Goes time oh man this wasn't a good movie at all it looks like you found a black princess somehow taylor i mean yeah just get a haircut it looks like your hair is freshly cut i did i was i

was so overdue did you have it professionally done did you do it yourself did you have it professionally done? Did you do it yourself? Did you have your girl do it? No, I just had it done at the haircut place. At this point now, they don't even take your mask off to do anything. They just cut around your ear loops. Yeah, they just shift the ear thing up and down a tiny bit, but they don't let you take your mask off at all. I don't wear a mask when I'm getting my haircut. Seriously? How? Welcome to Georgia. Take the fucker off.

Do they let you? Of course. Wow. There are no mask restrictions whatsoever in my state. You can do whatever the fuck you want. See, I hear that all the time, and people will be like, oh, I went into this southern grocery store, and everybody was walking without a mask and it's like and like i don't feel like i

live in the deep south or anything where i live isn't even the south but like i have i've never walked into a place like that even when i go into counties like if you go into like further outside of st louis counties that they just there's no restrictions even going into grocery stores there it's like where is this happening everybody's wearing their mask no not here um like so there are businesses who have like mask policies so like walmart for example i wanted some epsom salt the other day cheapest place to get it by the way taylor went into walmart and uh uh you know you gotta wear a mask there's a guy at the door like i put your mask on please it'll save my life i'm 104 like this poor old retiree who can't make ends meet and is a greeter at mcdonald's

or walmart unfortunately and so you've got to wear one there or they'll yeah i i don't know i went in there and i saw people without them though they like got past grandpa and just popped them right off clearly uh and then the grocery store uh don't have to wear one there uh but i do and also um the haircut place like you have to wear it when you come in and there's no waiting room anymore they took all the chairs out so you wait in your car and uh they like they do that thing like outback steakhouse where you they've got the little vibratey thing little coaster yeah yeah so that's how you figure out it's time to go in and get your hair cut. And then where else?

Oh, I went to a dollar store the other day to buy some cheap shaving razors. And they had a really big sign that was like, absolutely no admittance without a mask. If you take it off, you will be asked to leave. So they were pretty serious about it. Yeah, those dollar store employees really want a conflict over a mask. Probably not. I can tell you, I worked at those dollar store employees really want a conflict over a mask probably not i can tell you i worked at the dollar store and i saw someone walking out walking out without a mask it's like you are not paying me enough to be your cashier and your loss preventers prevention guy and your your health you know enforcer no

like if anything am i supposed to if it's actually that dangerous you want me to walk over there and like get in sniffing range oh speaking of loss prevention interesting job by the way uh midi used to do that that was his job at um at like a big department store of some kind i don't know some sort of like uh some sort of department store where they have electronics and i guess it's like a walmart type store. And apparently there was this other employee that they had him like following around. They were like, keep an eye on this guy. We've heard he takes pictures of underage girls when they're not looking like you got to be on the lookout this this guy this loss prevention officer is an inside man stealing for himself but he's actually creating in a way child pornography at macy's right no no no middy was the loss prevention man trying to like catch another employee who was taking pictures of underage girls oh okay yeah jesus christ i thought it was middy trailing like a double agent other loss prevention guy to get free polos under the youiling like a double agent other loss prevention guy.

Remember to get free polos under the, you know, no one will suspect the loss prevention guy. Face off the whole time. There was just one loss prevention agent with a mask on. I don't think Mitty was very good at his job, though. I'm pretty sure he just like watched the cameras a lot and like played video games on his phone and stuff. So that guy just got all the pictures he could he could fap to i'm sure he never admitted he said he never caught him i don't remember now that you mentioned it i don't remember if he ever caught the uh the underage photo bandit or not but what was really weird is why they didn't just fire him on the spot since they'd

gotten multiple reports that this guy was taking photos of underage girls in the department store. Yeah. You know, we have a three-strike policy for pedophilia. And this is your third time, but we like you. You're a good member of the team. Just like the Catholic Church. No, it doesn't work. You got a one-strike policy for pedophilia. That's not something you dabble in, you know?

Yeah, that wasn't his first time. Yeah. You ever dabble in a little pedophilia,'s not something you dabble in you know yeah that wasn't his first time yeah you ever dabble in a little pedophilia taylor no no i feel like the people who are into that that is really their thing that's their thing they they love it they absolutely love pedophilia it's their favorite thing it's their number one thing they never wake up and think like oh i'm gonna have a nice tasty dinner oh i'm gonna enjoy a glass of wine tonight no they want kids yeah badly so must be good i knew a guy in loss prevention the best when we were we were much younger but he was lost prevention at macy's and he like number one he said it was one of the easiest fucking jobs like what you described with midi he was like yeah 98 of the time it's sitting up there half-ass paying attention

to cameras and the other two percent of the time you have to go down and like ask somebody to put something back or like hey open up your your bag and something like that and he was telling me like something that does suck though is uh if they make it to the parking lot, that's no longer the store's jurisdiction. And so you just have to call the police. So I was like, really? And he's like, yeah,

yeah. We were chasing this guy at once. The only chase we ever had. And he was faster than us. And he had like two armfuls of stuff and he got out there and we were close on him. Then he got in the parking lot. And so we just went back and watched the cameras.

It's like, what? And he was like, yeah, we just called just called the police that's that's what you do they catch him no no no of course not no he said okay we have other things to do we're not coming to check on the macy's sweater thief a long time ago i saw this guy. Sounds racist, but I'm trying to paint a picture. He was a very athletic, call him 16-year-old, young, skinny black guy. And he was running, running like the lightning, like the wind through the mall. And I'm like, you know, like, why is he in such a hurry? Like, I had no idea why this guy was zooming like he was. This is how you know Woody isn't an actual racist. I had no idea.

And then two security guards come lumbering by, right? And he just running-ish trying to chase him. And the athletic guy is, like like parkouring his way down the stairs and out the door and the two lumbering security guards catch up to about me and they're like they gave up it turns out this young man had tried on new sneakers, liked them a lot, and left. He allowed them to keep his old sneakers, it would seem. And the security guards were like, you got to understand, this nightstick slows you down a lot.

It's like, yeah, that and the baby you're carrying. You're pregnant, bro. They're trying to get confirmation confirmation they're trying to like to yeah their ego get confirmation for me like oh that guy's grease lightning huh he was in fairness like that was a younger version of me i was i was fit too i wasn't catching that guy that guy was the fastest person in the in the conversation well maybe yeah yeah i probably had no socks on back young woody days but yeah yeah he had a uh nightstick on one side of like a taser on the other the utility belt thing

and he said that's why he wasn't able to catch this fella sure is there an instance ever of a security guard at the mall or something really laying into someone with their nightstick i've never seen that i've seen that one crazy one at like a flea market where the security guard tases this out-of-control woman. But I've never seen just a going ham with a nightstick clip. I've seen the obviously Muay Thai trained security guard just like boxing and dodging and weaving and getting into a fist fight with the bad guy.

Kyle may have seen that same clip. I think we've talked about it. It's funny to watch him like block and work his defense and know what he's doing this is they look like they belonged in a ring the way that the two of them were fighting the security guard was better that wasn't a in good fun one was it that was a real fight no it was yeah it made the news and everything like the I guess the guy, he gave this sort of like, what are you going to do to the security guard? Because they were both like peers, you know, on a side note. When I trained a little bit, if the guy was way better than me,

that's a gentle fight. That's no problem. I know where I stand. If I'm way better than the other guy, same thing. It's all cool. That's not really where the conflict hits. It's when there's this deciding who the alpha is in this session, in this sparring session. I think I'm the guy.

You think you're the guy. That's when the heads really bump. So I know we can't watch this video, but we can describe it a bit maybe. Start at 20 seconds. Okay. So this is the answer. Now to a shocking incident. This is the solution, solution rather to your problem with

what you had you described in an instance where you had a speedy young black man stealing some merchandise and these two big fat white security guards who were just ill-prepared useless never gonna catch it black security guards all right you fight fire with fire. Just before we watch this real quick, that's what happened. Both of these guys thought they were going to win the fist fight and that's why they fought the way they did. Alright, to your video. Ready, set, play. Suspensions of these

three security guards. They are beating the shit out of this guy who stole There are three security guards. There's four. They clubbed him and punched him half to death. They were going three on one there for a sec.

They're still going. It comes back on. They've got him in a bush and they are kicking, stomping. He doesn't even have a shirt anymore. Have you ever seen what professional NFL kickers do like right before they kick the ball where they kind of step to get the most force behind it that's what the third man in there does the other guy the guy's head is down and he does that little

kicker stutter step they need to stop interrupting the fight with this woman talking i muted it oh i muted it too yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so. I bet that guy deserved it. Those three heroes. I hope they got the key to the city. Four heroes. Kyle's right. Four heroes.

Yes. Four heroes punching teen. They shouldn't say teen. They should say mall terrorist. Yes. Terrorizing the hot topic. So they bailed that kyle rittenhouse guy yeah i i'm waiting to see how i wonder how his thing will go i've laid it out in long detail before but i don't know what to think of him i could make an argument on either side yeah i could as well um but when you when you look at

like who his quote-unquote victims were they're they're not the most defensible group it's like a felon with a gun um like a wife beater and some someone else the other guy also had something like you know the pedo thing's not true by the way like i have tried to look that up you didn't say it but uh it's been said a lot the right wing like information sphere went nuts with one of his victims being a pedophile that i can't confirm anywhere and i have seen it debunked so statutory rapist at worst i don't think it's like anything true but this happens all the time like it every time like i don't know a cop kills someone they're like oh that kyle guy was known to park in handicapped spaces so i mean it is kind of had it coming yeah uh i saw i want

to say the actor uh ricky schroeder um from ny nypd blue bailed him out? Really? It wasn't the guy that died. It was the guy that he shot named Joseph Rosenbaum committed public sexual indecency to a minor by intentionally or knowingly committing an act of sexual contact by masturbating while a second victim of a minor under 15 years of age was present. So he masturbated while a girl was present?

Do you have a good source, by the way? Or is it... A younger... If you type in his name and then sexual assault, there's a good deal of stuff on that. What was his name again? Joseph Rosenbaum. And so it doesn't look like...

Also... But it says it's just public sexual indecency. So that probably means masturbating near a park or something. I don't know. That's just what I imagine it means. That's probably means masturbating near a park or something. I don't know. That's just what I imagine it means. That's probably right. Also clearly a Jew. Yes. Rosenbaum is a very Jewish name.

Strike three. Joseph Rosenbaum, sexual assault. They only get two. One, two. One and two. Two strikes. Different rules for you. This doesn't seem very fair at all. What do we do?

Speak when spoken to. No. That's not what German people sound like at all. When you actually hear them talk. No. They sound so much more ridiculous like like you think so yeah the german accent is such an ugly accent and the language is even worse it's always so angry it isn't angry there was some german streamer that the boys were

watching the other day i'm trying to think the word that he said that was so out like snorkel he said snorkel and it it came out so scary and it was just like oh god you you make snorkel sound like i don't know like a slur like that accent is just so angry and rough it is ink i wouldn't i would still maybe it's because of familiarity because we're from america but b still is the most annoying to me, the most grating. Then if we're talking about foreign ones, Eastern European gets pretty harsh, pretty angry sounding. Middle East, pretty harsh, angry sounding sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Fish will start speaking Arabic sometimes when we're uh playing games and like you know just for it's scary you know i know he's just kidding around he's probably saying

something friendly but he'll mix it up to you allahu akbars and i'm just like i want to flashbacks i want to fact check myself for a second i think i was wrong about he does have some sort of sexual assault thing taylor's right and um with a person who's under 18 I'm projecting this like well I wonder how old he was and all that stuff but I he was found guilty and to quote Snopes

considering that evidence the claim that Rosenbaum at one point was convicted of sexually abusing at least one child before his death was true so I was wrong oh he's the one that died for some reason i had it in my head he was the one that got like his arm blown off but he survived i think he was the guy who was trying to swing the skateboard and got capped right in the chest is that right or no i'm not sure i think i think it's the first one. The one that was at the used cars.

Oh, maybe you're right. I'm looking up his name. There's more than one Rosenbaum. All right. Yeah, I'm more and more sure he's the car guy. Taylor, was it you that sent me that meme the other day that was Kyle Rittenhouse, but it was Ray from Star Wars getting that triple kill with the laser. No, I wouldn't have known enough

to the Star Wars reference. I'm trying to find it. See if you can find that one. Yeah, this happens a lot. Like something bad happens to someone, and then you find out that someone was bad anyway, and you're like, well, well all right so maybe that was a bad thing but maybe he had it coming maybe maybe kyle's not the killer maybe karma is the true

killer here maybe it was buddha or one of those east eastern powers right we need to call him kyle written maybe just written house i think that's better we'll call him written house was the killer but uh speaking we're talking about the angry languages. You're saying East Asian. East Asian languages, not angry at all. Sounds more passive, more quiet. Maybe that's the way they talk. Yeah, Russian, that's angry.

Do you do Russian? I used to work with Russians. Not only is Russian very angry, but after they learn English, it stays angry. It stays angry all the time. Yeah, it's because they were raised in Russia. That seems pretty rough. It's cold. Are there areas of Russia? stays angry stays angry all the time yeah it's because they were raised in russia that seems pretty rough i guess cold are there areas of russia this is a dumb question i'm joking with

good weather yes don't they have way i i mean can you imagine going to a russian beach that sounds like a trick oh no you're not going to beach it's like wow we go to russian beach to be pretty nice oh no it is gulag yeah there have to be some like southern part of russia by mongolia maybe on the beach on am i crazy the pacific ocean's kind of cold right because the the water goes up instead of down, maybe. I know that's true of the West Coast. I don't know if it's... Do you think they hate the Yankee Russians?

The Yankee Russians? The way there's a Yankee-Southern rivalry here. You're like, we don't take kindly to you in this part. I don't know how to inject Southern accent into Russian. That's hard. You try it, Kyle. That's hard. You try it, Kyle. That's hard. I know, because one's a slow drawl

and the other is more curt. Oh, no. You ever do that with an impression? You're just like, oh, that's not going to happen. They're both coming from different parts of your mouth That southern accent Is kind of all up In the front of your mouth

The Russian accent is all the way In the back of your mouth Combining them together I like it Combining them together Yee-haw You have to do a Russian guy at an American theme park.

Yee-haw, little cowboy. We are having a good time on the prairie. Borat enters the show. So hard. Now I'm just singing country songs as a Russian That might be an easy way to do it too Yeah I'll work on that for next week

That's hard It's like two completely different mouth movements That's so stupid Oh, remember This is a bit of a science topic I think we talked a while back about people drinking hand sanitizer and we said i think we came to the conclusion that it is safe if you're drinking the kind with the booze alcohol in it yeah but this kind apparently like seven

people died in russia because they were drinking a of hand sanitizer, but it had methanol in it instead of ethanol. And so like four of them at least, maybe even seven. I read part of the article and it seemed to contradict it. But like the way I was looking up methanol poisoning and like what happens, and it is a rough way to go once you've done – like you will permanently go blind at the very least from drinking this stuff. Like just a little bit of methanol. And I was like watching a video and it was like some guy drank some moonshine that still had a little like they didn't drain enough of it off. This wasn't like the hand sanitizer, but maybe Woody doesn't know.

So like the way they do stills and make moonshine, I guess they have to run it a little bit before they start bottling it to get all the methanol on the top off so that doesn't get mixed in or something and so that's why that could have been a problem back in the day like all those you know stories of oh someone went blind people are going blind from it because of the methanol but if you do get methanol poisoned the only cure that you'll have around the house is to get hammered on actual alcohol so like if you drank a bunch of methyl alcohol the only thing around that can neutralize it is ethyl alcohol and so like if you realize you've been methanol poison you need to immediately grab like a bottle of vodka and start drinking like no you could also go blind if you wanted to you hate liquor so much

i mean maybe i'll just lose it in one eye you know You're blind if you wanted to. You hate liquor so much that you're like, I mean, maybe I'll just lose it in one eye, you know? Yeah, it says it destroys your optic nerve, so it's not like a... I mean, I'm torn because they told me battery acid was bad, and that turns out to be fine. It's tasty. That doesn't mean it's good for you. You didn't drink it in the context of a Russian party

getting, like, drunk on it. If you would have it in the context of a Russian party getting drunk on it. You would have had a couple ounces of battery acid. You would have died. No, I just lick my fingers. Gross. The opposite of gross. Taylor, I don't mean to alpha you here, but I feel like I've got you on battery acid drinking.

I've done that thing where you touch a battery to your tongue to see if it's still got charge. There's no acid in there. That's completely unrelated. Have you drank battery acid, Kyle? You've tasted it? Oh, I drink it all the time. What do you think this is full of? The question is that, have I drank battery acid? Only Woody here is retarded

enough to have drank battery acid. True. It hasn't held me back at all. Except for actors' names, apparently. Yeah, that's the reason. Uh-oh! Uh-oh! What's his name?

There's no way of knowing. What's the Home Alone guy's name? I don't know why that's not nice. This is the third time I've done it to him, by the way. I never did. I asked him why we played zombies the other day, and he was like, fuck. Yeah.

I'm going to get it wrong. I know this is happening, but I know that his name's not a real name. So I'm going to say Cully McCulkin. No. No. I thought I had it, too. It's not McCulkin Cully. It's not McCulkin Cully. It's not McCulkin Cully.

Fuck. I mean. He's saying it in a way that he's going to make me forget. Right. It's like when you say a word over and over, it loses all meaning in your head. Oh, he's Googling. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not.

McCulley Cul culkin who's that this has so many vowels in it this is an insane name a-a-u-e i guess every week we going to have this is a new segment. This is a new segment. Does Woody know the actor from Home Alone? I learned Liam Neeson's name. Eventually I will get this one. I don't know. Well, I guess Liam is more of a name

than McCulloch. It was the Neeson part. I was calling him Nelson. He was calling him Liam Nielsen because he was getting mixed up with Leslie Nielsen. Yeah, great actor, by the way. Yeah, rest in peace to him. R.I.P.

Just a while, yeah. Who do you want to replace for James Bond? The Jeopardy host, Alex Trebek. Yeah, I think they announced the replacement. Did you hear that? They announced a guest. They're going to have multiple people fill in. And Peter, and that

guy who won millions on the show, whose name's escaping me right now. Ken something, maybe. Ken Jennings. Okay. Yeah, I think he's going to fill in for a while, which I'm down with that. He's got personality, and he's a goddamn genius, at least as far as Jeopardy questions go. I haven't watched

that show in years. I used to watch a lot. I liked Family Feud of those realities. Oh, I liked it. It was so lowbrow. It's still on. What do you mean it was lowbrow? I don't like Harvey.

That's his name, right? Harvey something with the big teeth? Yeah, teeth in that that caterpillar mustache oh harvey's fake outrage his weird christianity like uh christianity based like morality system always being injected into the answers like and and the answers are designed for it too right it's like what's hard and behind a man's fly you know and you know someone's like a p how dare you no shut the fuck up you know this question was designed to get goofy answers like that like it's not mad he's playing up the entertainment value he knows that person is embarrassed to say it and so he's calling him oh in front of all these people you're saying like because at home there's a black grandma going oh

shit i'll be gonna tell him what's what there's a 12 year old taylor watching saying the same thing the over-the-top harvey reactions turn me off on that show. I need a little more sincerity in my host. I don't need him pretending to be offended by all this. I like Price is Right. That was my favorite bullshit game show. I didn't like Wheel of Fortune. I liked Jeopardy as an adult, especially when Ken Jennings was going on his million-dollar run. But I always liked Price is Right.

I liked guessing the cost of things. I like when they'd spin the big wheel i like how pumped everybody would be when they got called down i even watched that whole documentary about the guy who memorized the prices of everything that was on the show and then he like appeared in the studio audience like every day for like a year or two until they finally picked him and then he won the whole fucking thing like no problem because he knows the exact prices of every single item and he gets down to the final showcase and he's like within dollars of like nailing it perfectly because he like he knows what these things cost he's memorized it that's great i love those stories that guy's people who you can't really you can't really rig those shows anymore because it's all computerized but it used to just be like the same predictable options over and over like when you were spinning a wheel like if it was an

electric wheel like this show press your luck you ever heard of press your luck it's a little older yes i know this one go ahead you'll lay it out great press your luck is this game show where you know they have your face in the middle on the camera, and then around you on the screen is a bunch of squares. And they're flashing different things all the time, and there's one square that's always lit up. And it's seemingly randomly going around the board. So it'll be like 400 up here, 700 down here, minus 600 over here. Crews up here, minus 1,000, bankrupt, and it moves around everywhere.

And this guy, this genius, Michael L larson he sat at home for months and memorized after learning the entire pattern of exactly where it's going to go and not only that so like maybe it's coming from the top middle one down to the right middle one but if that was only the third rotation he would know oh after this is going to go to the cruise on the fourth rotation you know oh it's going to go after that's going to go to minus 500 and so like the most amount of money people were winning on this game show was like four grand five grand and he almost bankrupted the show and ruined it because he would not stop it apparently they had to edit it down so much because he just did it for hours if you win you come back next week yeah yeah when you come back next week i think they maybe made a rule so he couldn't but like it was just going and he would

just you're supposed to yell stop and like as you're hitting it like for the theatrics but he's so engaged with it that he's like hitting it and then remembering to say stop and so he's clearly counting everything there's a point where like the host is really stressed out about it because he gets up to over a hundred and ten thousand dollars and this is in like 1971 and 110 000 Nobody else in the show's cracked five figures yet. And they're like realizing in the middle of the show, Oh my God, this guy knows every answer.

And so they just had to sit there. And I think in the end, they may have just ended it before he fucked up. Like they may have just ended the episode before and said, Oh, that kind of is kind of cheatery. What you did like card County. You can't go back,

but you see, there's a documentary about that too. I've seen, I think we saw the same program or whatever it was yeah it's great oh and i talk about it he didn't cheat in my mind like he didn't yeah like cheating would be no i'm agreeing get it yeah i i'm on the same page cheating would be if i knew the questions in advance no yeah you know like he just knew the answers and he had figured out the pattern to the blinking lights like once you see it go on this one the next one's always safe in advance no yeah you know like he just knew the answers and he had figured out the pattern

to the blinking lights like who once you see it go on this one the next one's always safe and you know he would hit it and then the next one would be safe and yeah i thought he was just cool it's okay to be good yeah he just studied for the test and it's still unbelievably hard it's not like it was like every time it goes one two three i hit stop it's like no you have to like the host is talking to you the crowd's out there all the other contestants are joking around and you're like focused like nobody's business on this like every once in a while like the other people it's funny because you can see them be like stop oh man bankrupt he'll if he misses the spot he wants to go for he will just wait for an entire new

cycle so they'll be like all right all right michael uh go ahead and stop for us he's like okay exactly dude uh michael yeah favorite favorite game shows and favorite game show moments i don't know why i stopped watching it but it was huge for a bit. Who wants to be a millionaire? And there's that thin guy who doesn't use any of his lifelines until he gets to the million dollar question. And he's like, I want to call my dad. And Regis is like, oh, we got him now. He doesn't know this one. And he's like, dad, I don't know which president appeared on whose line it is anyway or something like that. And he's like, Dad, I don't really need your help. I'm just calling you to let you know I'm about to win a million dollars because the president who was on whose line is anyway is Gerald Ford or whatever it was.

And that is maybe my favorite game show moment. Yeah, that was so awesome. Yeah, I agree. He was the first one to win a million, right? I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. He was the best one to win a million right i'm not sure yeah he was the best one donald norm mcdonald did really well oh he's a smart guy yeah norm mcdonald's a genius norm with the questions as hard yeah let me see where how far norm went oh another uh subreddit

for those uh who might be curious forced orgasms uh forced orgasms are forced orgasms. This bit won't last very long if you keep giving out four shows. They're endless. I got so many. You're going to run out of pornography online. Taylor, it happens. Yeah. You've run out of online.

Taylor, I need them to speed up at the rate at which they're producing content at this point. Can you imagine being that far gone down that rabbit hole that you're like looking for release dates on new ones? Man, the internet's a drought right now. Norm Macdonald won half a million dollars on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? And he only quit because Regis Philbin was like, you know you know this is for charity maybe you should quit while you're ahead and uh and norm was finally like yeah i guess you're right well i wouldn't be getting anything if i weren't here like norm i don't think we should be saying that about the kids out there oh i know you know because i told you yesterday pastilli won the escape from tarkov tournament

yeah there were three ways to measure the t so here it is they had these tasks to do kill 50 scavs kill this many level 31 players, find this, do that. And they had them all arranged on a bingo board. First bingo, most squares filled, and most bingos were the categories. And if there's a tie, who got it first won. His team won all of it. Everything. All three categories.

And he's very good at Escape from Tarkov i i don't know it was neat to me i guess i root for the old guy devastating for landmark i i was why i was in pastilli stream today and he said that he is not the best at clicking on heads you know that i think uh it might be landmark that's the best i he's the next guy i think of but when it comes to pvp skills landmark is very very good but it's a complicated game and there are other things to do aside from just kill players you know find things and go places and you know i think you had to take 400 damage and still live uh you had to you know get out of a raid safely without killing anybody right which requires this. You have to be a little sneaky.

You have to know where you just spend your time and avoid trouble too. And when measured in a really holistic way, Pastilli and his team got first place. He is the three-time champion. I don't know that there's ever been another world champion. I'm not sure there's ever been a competition that Pastilli entered and lost congratulations to pastilli yeah it uh he is

very good do you think you're on the back end of that game yet with your interest in it are you still just as much i mean i was playing it right before we started the show uh he has his wife log in to get his free tarkov bucks when he's away you're right it was a dumb question yeah yeah my my tarkov credentials are legit uh i'm not claiming to be the best player or anything but there was a tarkov trend at one point where you know maybe everybody was hopping on um i played long past that trend i'm a legit tarkov addict i like the game um i do like nazi zombies that's been fun too but uh i yeah anyway i don't want to go on about tarkov but i really like it i wouldn't say i'm on the back end if anything i'm thirsting

for the next release they give us we went to level 40 last night and then extracted. 40? I don't know how long we could go if we wanted to. We should actually try to make a push for 100 because I think we can do it. It's just a matter of devoting all that time. Are the rounds that much longer? Yeah. So what did you do for money? did you get a lot of tomahawk

kills like because it gets to be did you have good weapons i guess um i don't remember that infinite ammo gun you can really like create your own money after a while i it doesn't really matter what gun like like i just i just shoot him in the head so like i'm getting money. Hmm. I felt like as I got, where'd I go? Look, 31 or 36, 36, 36. Yeah.

So I thought as I approached level 36, it was harder to make money. Like even my, you're shooting into a crowd, you're getting collaterals and you're aiming mostly at the head. I'm like, I was making money, but I wasn't making a ton.

I had like a hundred thousand or something like that by the end it's just like infinite money i don't know um uh i just shoot him in the head i just shoot him in the head with a triple pack of punched like gun and gold money okay the biggest like and hardest thing to overcome in that is just fatigue just being like just getting into a groove of like not paying that much attention where you're training not jumping where you should have and then just before you know it you're surrounded there's no getting out yeah we've gotten better at like speeding through the rounds like like not fucking around like actually like being aggressive about killing the zombies

rather than getting a big ass train uh just getting like five or six and immediately killing them and repeating that process because when you get a big ass train it means getting like five or six and immediately killing them and repeating that process because when you get a big ass train it means the the spawn rate slows down like all the spawn rates aren't popping off the whole time but if you're continuously killing they're continuously spawning and you know utilizing monkey bombs and chopper gunners and the wonder weapons the high round strategy is to use the ring of fire ray gun and chopper gunners right now so how do you get the chopper gunner you just buy it from the the bench the same way you buy a monkey bomb but yep yep you just toggle over to support you can buy chopper gunner

war machine combat bow or um auto turret you know the ether Ether reel? You press it. You're talking about the Ethereal field upgrade? Yes. My mistake. The Ethereal. There's a little delay. Sometimes I find myself getting beat up by everybody. You press it and it's like, I'm literally down in the Ethereal. It was so close.

Is the chopper gunner faster? I think so. Maybe I don't know if the if it takes uh two full seconds to pop ethereal maybe it takes 1.5 to pop a chopper gunner i think it's faster i use it for emergencies are you up in the chopper gunner when you're using it like you're not standing there with a control pad your character's still down there but he's invulnerable and the zombies aren't attracted to him and you're just up there like any other COD, like really wrecking house with a chopper gunner. It's a lot of fun.

So the thing I was talking about for non-players, you can press a button, everything turns blue, and the zombies stop attacking you. So if you're in a really hot spot, you can press that and get out of jail. Maybe if your teammate's down, you can press it, and you get a moment or two to pick them up while the zombies aren't killing you and it's super helpful kyle told me hey if you've got a chopper gunner it has a similar effect obviously you can't revive people but if you if you're getting if you're about to go down you know it you can maybe invoke the chopper gunner and they ignore you for a bit yeah the biggest uh problem for us in the later rounds was always dealing with like three bosses because even when you split them now you got six bosses so uh we've been

using the ring of fire a lot because with the ring ring of fire your damage multiplier is outrageous you pop it especially if you got a ray gun and you can just melt the bosses almost instantly and get just get those off the map is that the new meta more than the save yourself one combination of them um i think i think probably the best way to go would be like two rings of fire and uh maybe at least one of the healing guys because the healing guy he just presses x and immediately picks players up like across the map like if you go down on the opposite end of the map i just immediately tap x and you're back up again oh that's great that saves a lot of money too yeah it'll save them a lot of money and uh and you know the lesser not only what does it do that but like it also like puts a healing aura on everybody who's

in the game temporarily so they're regenerating health faster it does a bunch of shit so maybe one of those and then i don't know maybe maybe an ethereal as well so the guy can go invisible if he needs to and like i don't know um but i like ring of fire a lot for getting the fuck rid of those bosses they're super i didn't know that it gave you a like shooting bonus it makes the ammo come out of your stockpile rather than your magazine so you don't need to reload and you can just shoot infinitely while it's on and it gives you a massive damage boost and if you time it with an insta kill then it's just crazy town mode because insta kills apply to bosses too they won't instantly die but you're getting a big damage multiplier so you're getting two damage

multipliers and then you shoot them in the head now you're getting three damage multipliers and then you shoot them in the head now you're getting three damage multipliers and it's just instant death for bosses that'd be nice because that is the hardest part on those higher rounds is the fucking bosses ruining it yeah I've been playing a bunch I like it a lot I haven't been playing nearly as much as some of those other guys like

Dirty and Middy are both like third prestige or some shit Jesus Christ yeah it's the best Nazi zombies I think Dirty and Midi are both like third prestige or some shit. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's the best Nazi zombies, I think. I think so, too. I'm digging it. I'm going to play some later tonight.

Hurry the fuck up on this next map. Agreed. Agreed. Isn't the game two weeks old? Yeah. They should have came with two maps, though. Yeah, at least two. What's normal?

Doesn't Nazi zombies drop with one lately? Am I crazy? I think it was two on the last one. I think you had like the, oh, maybe even three. At first. I may be complaining games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like on launch.

I want to say there was the Titanic map where you're like on the Titanic. And there was also the Roman numeral X map so that you were in the gladiatorial arena i think both of those launched day one yeah i never played that one the one before that though i think that was the last one i played before this and that launched with at least two the original one launched and like what black ops 2 was the one before that or maybe that was black ops 2 the first one the first zombies released with only one and then they added three all at once so it had four at the time so yeah this is ridiculous just one one fucking map come on now come on can you imagine like 10 years ago like we've all been so conditioned as consumers with this that we're like oh i guess it's just one map that stinks whatever i guess. I guess I'll still pay the $80. Like, 10 years ago, this would not have flown.

Everyone would have been like, are you fucking kidding me? I just spent $60 in this game, and it has one zombies map. What are you going to do? You know, nickel and dime me with subsequent purchases and in-game microtransactions. I'm glad microtransactions seem to be dying off yeah but i i mean they never will it's a it's a cash cow they kind of are i feel like um i don't know i'll contradict myself but i was gonna say you want it games have to get more

expensive right that's the thing but people don't want them to get more expensive they don't want to pay 120 for a game but then again you know i paid 145 for escape from tarkov and some games cost a lot or money i am getting my money's worth on that and also they have a nice business model where you can get it for 45 bucks and then if you want to get the edge of darkness or whatever it's called the the big edition that i have it's 145 so you just pay 100 more you don't pay 45 and then 145 and realize like it's not a buy it nice or buy it twice buy it nice and invest in the or buy it the first time invest in the second one yep i think someone i think larry the strong gave me a free copy uh and then i upgrade yeah yeah i am i think pastilli i don't know if he would have got me a copy or

basically after i bought it he's like oh woody you should have said something i was like oh well you're right i should have said something that's not too late yeah i wonder if i could get so right now i don't have too much tarkov talk i know i know but right now people doing this challenge and it involves them having a fresh account they don't your character gets built up and stronger and they're doing it with fresh characters cool all these content creators seem to be buying their other accounts. I don't know. I get it.

A successful Twitch streamer makes a lot of money. So whatever it is, 45 bucks for that account maybe isn't much to them. But I like to feel treated special. I am sure I've sold a bunch of copies of this game for Battlestate.

I'm sure of it. And I'm small. These big guys, every time they should just call Nikita and be like yep three more yep yeah i'm woody all right cool and that should be it they should just be it's it's virtual goods it's free for battle state if a if a content creator wants another account it should be easy for them yeah yeah i agree it's yeah i'm gonna get into tarkov just for the freebies at woody craft we had um all these different ranks you could buy but a free rank was a twitch streamer and

we would hook you up with we wanted you to play on our server yeah make sense get their followers in there get them buying whatever and playing they're looking at ads however it works i saw that cyberpunk uh 2077 or whatever um they've got a streaming youtube mode that you can just check a box and all the copyrighted music will just turn off and it'll smart yeah they tweeted that out yeah it's super good idea yeah isn't that game still on delay that was supposed to be out by now i think yeah it was supposed to already have been out, but... Their Twitter account is awesome. Have you seen the jokes they make and stuff?

Oh, well, they tweeted out a while ago, like, hey, come hell or high water, this game will be available November 1st. And then they retweeted, like, can we, uh, you think anyone would notice if we just deleted this? And recently they're like, okay, I gotta come clean. There is no Cyberpunk 2077.

We just wanted to hang out with Keanu. It's all been a ruse, but it will release someday, probably before Christmas. Hopefully it's not another one of those games that's immediately panned. I don't think so. It looks like they're putting a lot of time and effort into it i'm not really interested in an rpg though i need weed for that which is that that reminds me it's an ama question this guy wanted to know um i'll get his question exactly right kyle what the fuck is it what activities and or media is kyle holding off on until he can smoke again

uh yeah like rpgs like rpgs in general i can't grind away and enjoy myself and get into the mindset of a dark elf who uh has mommy issues without some weed i need this is telling to me right you can play as a character named kyle and his play style is to finish this goddamn game yeah that's your style um you might like it not high it might be your style too yes that's an awful play style pretend to be an elf sober can't do it you can't do it he's got to be stoned. So, yeah, like tons of RPGs. I want to do Skyrim together. I want to do

a complete replay of Fallout New Vegas, like heavily modded. I want to pick up Fallout 76 now that they've fixed it to some extent and maybe play through that. There's some movies that I have just purposefully not watched. Anni annihilation with

natalie portman i think is one of them she goes into some sort of trippy other dimension looking for her husband maybe she's some sort of scientist and there's all sorts of colors and shit i can't watch that sober there's no way uh i didn't watch the second season of planet earth uh still waiting oh that's a good save yeah yeah um uh a bunch of stuff i haven't watched a lot of movies i've saved them for when i can smoke again and it's been uh it's a real long con because it's been years at this point how long has it been over two years two years yes well over two years it's been it's been however long it's been when since they arrested me that's how long it's been oh what an ordeal this has been oh it's been a ball it's been just a a real interesting time you know i remember for a while

i would just think about it like late at night and I'd be like, oh, no, this is stressing me out. I can't imagine how stressed out Kyle is right now. I was the opposite. I kept thinking that like, well, because they've been talking about it for so long, like, I mean, they're probably over it by now, right? Like, they're not still mad. That was my mindset this whole time. Like, yeah, yeah. I remember the day all the

stories came out kyle missed a show perhaps and uh that's like a year and a half ago right so so they probably forgot about it yeah it turns out that's not how it works no just there should be handled yeah they can be like you know this was a while ago i'm not it's okay sold little crack it's okay ordered weed in the mail who's the victim here you clearly i order this man all his weed back and double the guns they take the the post worker post office worker and put her in jail for stealing your pot. Yeah, 10 years for snitching.

Now bring that dumb whore up who lied on this gentleman. God, I wish. There's a reality where that happens somehow. If there are infinite realities, there's one in which the, the judge was literally a Rastafarian. Bring up that stupid bitch from the post office. Throws the book out. This dude is barely even weed, man.

He's got the robe on. The robe is red, yellow, and green. I'm not sending anyone to jail for ditch weed like this throw it away everyone please stand for Bob Marley

Buffalo Soldier as the judge is walking in everyone please recline leisurely for Bob Marley yeah that's there's a reality where that happened Everyone please recline leisurely for Bob Marley. Yeah, there's a reality where that happened. And he's sinister to death. I don't know for sure that it was a post office worker that did that.

Yeah, I was going off of a news story, but they had a lot of details wrong. So who knows that that one's right? Yeah, they don't know things. I've got a lot of people here telling me you were Bogart in the joint he's very harsh about marijuana etiquette that's it someone be telling me you ate all the cookies why not save something for your friend bogarting means you smoke a lot of it yourself you don't share it appropriately right Why not save something for your friend? Hmm. Bogarting means you smoke a lot of it yourself. You don't share it appropriately, right? Yeah.

Like Humphrey Bogart, right? That's what I think of, but I don't know why. Did he not share his pot? That's what I was thinking. It's like, was it because he wasn't sharing his cigarettes? But you don't share cigarettes. Or maybe he was Bogarting all the women. Sense of selfishness and excess evolved from the 1960s use,

meaning keep a joint in your mouth instead of passing it on. Recalling the actor's signature practice of keeping a cigarette dangling from his mouth, even while speaking. Okay. And that is Bogarting. That is a trend they need to bring back. Actors talking with the cigarette still in their mouth that's probably the only type of acting that's gotten worse in the last 70 years are actors being able to speak with cigarettes in their mouths because they used

to be able to do that pretty impressively from what i'm remembering from the couple scenes i watched in some film class of humphrey bogart. Cigarettes used to be in movies all the time. It was a very common thing. It was a cooler time. It was a cooler time. It was. It was like, it was a lazy filmography trick. Like, if you wanted to know if somebody was cool,

they'd give them a cigarette. If you wanted to know if, like, something was, like, they just see the smoke puffing and you're like, ooh, like, this is a major thing this guy is cool like it yeah it was a trope i don't know if that's the right term but it was a lazy way to describe someone as neat there there's nothing that makes me want to smoke more than those horrible anti-smoking commercials where they're trying to seem like hip and cool like kids are like beatboxing about not liking cigarettes and stuff it's just it's

it's it's awful it's just awful and it's like i don't want to be associated with this i'm gonna have to go buy a pack of cigarettes and get to work so not me it makes me want to brush up on my beatboxing skills so i can be like those kids. What is that? What is that beatboxing? That's from a South Park. The beatboxing no smoke people. Really?

They can't beatbox well at all. And so one of them's like, don't ever smoke. Don't smoke. Don't smoke. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Kyle? I'm Rob Reiner, and I can't let these people be smoking indoors. And he's eating fast food and everything.

I don't remember that one. Turns out he's full of goo, and Cartman stabs him to kill him. He goes, my goo, my precious goo. No? I don't remember that one, no. That's surprising. You remember all of them. But yeah, cigarette smoking i i guess i don't notice it not being in movies as much because i wasn't around in the 50s and 60s to watch those but i don't like when they include like ham-handed anti-smoking

from the protagonist of a movie where it'll be like a sniper with his spotter smoking a sig and like the sniper will have to be like those are going to be the death of you, Roy. It's like, I know it. They're so addictive and dangerous. I've told my many children not to begin this deathly habit. It's like, that's good. Can you zoom in on the terrorists for me, though?

That reminds me of another thing. It's oral cancer. Let's go back to the olden days of having a jawless man scare the shit out of children. Dude, my driving courses. This one still has an impact on me. So they showed what happened in an automobile fire. And they were removing the corpse, the driver that held the steering wheel. corpse the driver that held the steering wheel and uh like imagine scooping a baby and like you carry it sort of like behind its shoulder blades and under its knees the corpse remained in the driving position arms forward knees bent didn't bend at the hips or anything like that it was just

a solid charcoal like it was wood yeah and i was like wow this driving stuff's really scary that was my takeaway i don't want to do this like that guy yeah that's probably pretty effective yeah i can't remember any of the other scariest straight stuff they did dude another driving one this one actually burned in my head i learned from it i didn't know the danger of it but they had a bunch of pipes in the back of a truck. Like, picture a pickup truck, pipes stacked really high. You need what's called a headache rack, because if you hit the brakes hard, that stuff will, like, shoot through the rear view. Not rear view.

The rear windshield, I guess it's called. And, yeah, these pipes just came right through like gave them those cartoon googly eyes and stuff it was awful that's a big problem don't do that your brakes are very effective stop pipes can't yeah well you don't really think about how like whatever five and a half pounds of pressure on that brake stops your multi-ton car or truck but yeah yeah you stomp on that brake and whatever's in the back of your truck comes shooting forward i think i've seen that exact photo of someone getting like skewered with those those things pretty spooky yeah you should really be careful

be careful with that what was the worst scared straight program you had to watch kyle in high school or middle school i don't think we had anything like that i remember we had a speaker uh you know like a guest speaker come uh and talk to us in the gym i i think he just talked to us about drug addiction maybe and and he didn't really have any like scars or anything you know he wasn't like visually fucked up or anything. He wasn't visually fucked up. But he just told us a sad story about losing his wife. And they were probably making him come tell us that story, like Randy Marshall. Randy gets a DUI.

Yeah, he gets a DUI. And they make him come and give a drug and alcohol prevention chat in front of right in front of his son's class yeah in Stan's class it's like yeah we want you to really go embarrass your son yeah his class won't play what was his speech like they point out how ridiculous uh 12-step programs are he goes to uh Alcoholics Anonymous and uh and and And like three of the 12 steps are like, ask God for forgiveness, admit to God that you have a problem. And Randy's like,

I didn't really know this was a religious thing. And they're like, oh no, it's not. It's just that in four out of our 12 steps, you need to ask the Lord for forgiveness, admit to the Lord that you can't change things and, and,

and accept him into your heart as your Lord and savior. He's just like, oh, yeah, okay, I see, I see. So if someone gets ordered to do that and they're not religious, do they just have to fake it? Yes. I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe there's like a 12-step program that doesn't involve God. There should be a secular 12-step program. Man, as we're going to undercut AA. We're going to be making all the money with an eight-step program. One-step program. Stop drinking. But I guess that one step is pretty hard.

The atheists and the 12 steps. Well, Randy ends up being cured by the Virgin Mary's bleeding asshole. This website went with yellow text on a white background. What the... It's not good. They're trying to kick in the hangover to make more people think they need to go.

Oh, that's good. Headache text. Yellow on white. Look at this website. I'll send you a little picture oh that's horrific if I oh if you highlight it

it's worse you know sometimes that's like the trick you highlight it with your mouse and it becomes like you know black and white no not at all available government fucking everything but souls on earth

has been redacted yeah exactly at the very bottom line I'm not even going we need to do a topic because this site is incomprehensible it says this guy tried really hard while in the 12 steps and it never made any sense to him so after many years of trying to believe i simply accepted

my disbelief and moved on and it seems it says here i am 10 years sober so it seems like he you know didn't really need those four other steps probably yeah it seems like he didn't really need those four other steps. Probably not. Yeah, seems like he handled it pretty well on the eight steps revolving around, I guess, going to work and not drinking. They need better answers. I'm like, what do atheists do? I'm Googling it and stuff. And they're like, ah, don't worry. The 12 steps aren't religious at all. They're just spiritual.

Oh, okay. So then I guess it's not really... It's the same thing. Yeah. Oh, what is this? Sam's... Wait, this isn't a suicide hotline, is it? I don't know.

To me, look, if you're alcoholic, just accept God. You got big problems. Try it. But also, on the other side of that coin, God loves you even if you're an alcoholic. So weigh out your options. If you're in good with a big guy, either way. You could cash in that shit a little sooner if you keep drinking.

Yeah. You drink and drive, it could be tonight. Yeah. Just transition it slowly into a different addiction one that will help you lose weight drinking can i guess it could i've seen both i don't like that the barber that i used to tell to point me towards the tv one of his like assistants was uh like alcoholic fat and then there's blade who's lost a bunch of weight it would seem on alcohol that's true but that's because he's at a phase of like he doesn't eat

i would assume like he's probably got so much key to losing weight yeah but like i want to lose weight while eating, ideally. Like the thousand calories a day of vodka and no food. It's just you got to have no energy. You got to feel terrible all the time. I bet Blade feels wonderful all the time. I don't think so. Why would he do it otherwise? Because he's physically addicted. The coffee has a hair.

I would guess that he's physically addicted the coffee has a i would i would guess that he's physically addicted i mean i'm it seems it seems pretty addicted to feeling great all the time yeah addicted to he's like just like by the pictures and everything my guess is like he's at the point where it's like he's waking up feeling sick if he doesn't have any alcohol in the system. And it's like just for him to go back to his normal streaming personality, he has to booze it up a bunch. And then it's like, okay, now I'm back to baseline.

And then the next day it's like I'm so low, I'm even further, I'm a little below the baseline I had yesterday. But the only way out of here I can see is boozing myself up again. I wish Kyle were here, because I'm not sure he knows, but did you know that Blade was having twins? What? Is this a shit joke?

No. Blade's girlfriend has two humans inside her right now. Yeah. Maybe Kyle didn't know. Oh, dear. right now oh no yeah maybe kyle didn't know oh dear kyle did you are you aware that only use me blade is about to be a father of twins actually that rings a bell i think i heard about you already yeah i am look i'm only as good as my, but the source is only use me blade saying we just got the ultrasound and it's twins on a YouTube video.

Well, that seems pretty straightforward, right? It's not like it's three people removed or anything like that. Either it's blade himself being untrue or it's true and he is that sounds like a huge mistake i don't know this could be just the thing he needs to pull him out of the funk there aren't many people a man hasn't lived indoors in a decade kyle yeah he's a little bit of a funk of all the people you've ever met in your entire life do you know many who are in a worse spot than blade right now to be a father like it okay chuck chuck chuck i was thinking i think we were together in la when that crazy person yelled at us the homeless one yeah him and then blades like second

man chuck and then blade by the way chuck is dying of cancer um he's he's one of the bad kinds i don't know you know i don't i i i have his like i deleted it i had like his whole like report he's got it everywhere he's got he's got the everywhere cancer oh dear it's weird how cancer goes everywhere it's like yes i've got uh colon cancer in my lungs and brain and nostrils now it's like yeah okay now it's nostril cancer no apparently it's not oh maybe did you not know this yeah you get like colon cancer in your vagina and it's not vaginal cancer it's still colon cancer it just spread oh i thought once it metastasized they're like oh just name it where it is now oh okay interesting yeah it'll be interesting that'll be a fun fact next time time I'm hanging out with doctors, I'll go, hey, something you probably didn't think I knew.

That's how I like to love conversations. Hey, something you probably assumed I didn't know. So who's the lucky lady? It's his girlfriend. Remember he met Miss Wright? No, I don't remember. Blade only used me. Blade has a girl.

I've seen her in a few videos. She actually seems lovely she blade is uh charismatic and i think that is why he is uh batting out of his league i'm looking for a better expression than this you know like she seems fine yeah i don't know i don't even think i can remember what she looks like if i've ever seen a video i just know that i have re-watched the lady die saga on opie and anthony enough times to see where this path ends like he is he really like he's starting to develop more physical characteristics of what he was she was a horrible over-the-top alcoholic like also someone's homeless on the show and she

gets wet-brained like five years ago now she has like dementia like it can't can't even communicate and she started to develop like that same look that he is developing which is like in the last year or two his arms are so like atrophied they're so thin his belly like everything like from here up there's no muscle it's just like like just sunken almost and then his belly is like distended and huge even though he's not eating i have more blade news you guys might apparently you don't i'm sorry you don't follow blade news as closely as i do did you know that he has been cut off of youtube a band banned forever his only source of income. What did he do to kick him off?

Or why did they kick him off? Not sure. Not sure. I thought that was a long time ago. No, I think I left his channel. Yeah, I think he's been streaming on YouTube as his primary lately. And now he, I guess,

he says he's leaving content creation. He's going to get a regular job and be a normal person. It'll probably be tougher than he thinks after having this be his job for so long. I feel like that would be so difficult to transition back.

It is a dead-end job. It's a dead-end job that makes millionaires, but still a dead-end job it's a dead-end job that makes millionaires but still a dead-end job so i hope you end up on a good road yeah that's the scary part about content creation like you you see this whatever like your 23 year old twitch streamer who's just smashing it and it's great but you also know their career ends at 28 ish maybe and i hope that you're on easy street at the end of your dead end yeah yeah i can really shut down quickly i'm smashing this metaphor by the way this is going really well this is going great

it's a dead end but it ends on easy street see what i did anyway what were you saying you should add more things in there you may take a left you may end up at a yield you might even have to round about a couple times but by god you know the grindstone go to driver's clint and say what are you talking about i'm sorry i started smelling toast that is huge news he's gonna have two kids yeah two that's i didn't expect that what was it what did you say before it only needs to be played he's gonna have kids before i am oh he beat me to the it's's probably what you said. You got cut

off for a second. Yes. Yeah. Unless you have kids in like six months somehow. I can force her to brush it. Right? I don't think half these women are trying that hard. No. Good authority,

they can pop out as soon as like five months. If you get two women to work together, four and a half months. Yes. Your gestation period. Yeah. So that's mind-boggling news that Blade's going to have kids. Because it's – I hope it goes well for him. I hope he turns it around and gets like a, I guess, regular job.

But like what's he going to do in the meantime? Like if that was his only means of income and i'm guessing there does he does he go to a different streaming site like i know he can't go to twitch he can't go to youtube there's like some smaller streaming sites i guess but those are so less known like what what kind of audience are you going to bring with you yeah is there a periscope business model do people make good money on that could he be a big time tiktoker uh no i have no idea yeah i think the answer is no that's not really what his uh skill set lends itself to yeah you go to

there's mixer there's wait a lot mixer the microsoft one that shut down as shroud left it oh is that i just went to social blade and opened up like the options of what you can search i'm just reading down the list so i don't know what trovo is or daily motion or story fire but i know d live that's a smaller streaming site tiktok is well i guess tiktok's a big streaming site twitch as we said already said no to him yeah that's a rough position to be in i wonder what it was that that finally gave him the axe yeah i don't know either if i'm youtube i'm almost looking for a reason right like there it is he said the f word he's out like really everyone says it yeah but we've been looking for a reason for you because he just does

drunken debauchery streams all the time like it's not really what youtube wants was it big enough streams to be pulling that much attention though i don't remember i don't know how many i don't know i almost think ice i in my head kind of like wings like the highlights are bigger than the everyday streams you know the the 10 minutes that come out of it every so often are the like big moments so blade's pretty famous yeah i just it's it might be a blessing in disguise for his youtube channel to be gone to remove this as an option because like he's like this is gonna kill him eventually if he doesn't stop the this level of drinking you know that, that's months away. Yeah. It's really kind of hard to gauge those things,

but we could probably have a doctor take a look at him and give us info. I mean, I, I think he's going to make it through 2020. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Still enough time for a twist.

Yeah. You're right though. I, is i i might be looking at the t thing kills me the t thing is like that would be a major catastrophe in my mind the losing the foot thing it was always theoretical and i viewed it through a weird lens like all he needed was some chicken and broccoli and and you know he would clean up and it turns out i was right turns out i was right guy took a two-week break and his foot came back fine old woodman knew all along that foot was not a big deal it was either that or the jaeger meister that his friends were pouring on it while he was passed out makes it both the disinfectant theory i like it i like it so now his leg is fine that bounced right back everyone thought it was gonna gonna fall off even that dumbass doctor

but those teeth aren't coming back like an idiot he's just he's just like fist pumping downing the bottle yes out of the woods forever the doctor should have just poured some jaeger on it this will make it come right back so i didn't know that his foot came back to life yeah apparently there's not much to see there anymore. It could kind of bounce back. Yeah. But it's like, if he waited for that to fix itself and then went right back to drinking at the level he did when he had his foot go fucked,

it's like, it's just going to go faster to that finish line this time than last time. Cause you're older. Like your body's probably not as strong as it was last time. Apparently not. Apparently he needs a ton of chicken. He was losing his foot. He took like a 10 day sobriety break.

It bounced back. Now he's drinking on an Olympic level once again, and his foot's fine. It migrated to his teeth. Break confirmed. Or was that just told to us? Just told to us. So maybe Kyle's right.

Maybe it was the pouring Jaeger on the feet. There was no sobriety break ever. That's what I do. Diabetics give that a go. Yeah. If you're just beginning to dip your toe into type 2 diabetes, you can get that fixed. Cut some weight.

You know, don't... I thought you were going to tell them to pour Jaeger on it. Oh, no. Jaeger's too much sugar. That's not good for diabetics. Apparently, if you apply it externally... Topically. Topically is what I was looking for. Then it's healthy. Yeah.

Yeah, I wouldn't use Jaeger. I'd use the cheap kind at Walgreens. That's a high enough. The kind that's not full of sugar and syrup that you don't want to introduce into an open wound. That stuff sounds good. I always love that stuff. Jaeger?

I know. And I don't get it because it's just not that good. It's not that bad either, though. I kind of like it. I haven't had it in a long time. Let's say your mindset for that evening is I'm going out with buddies or a girl or whatever. I'm in the mood. I'm going to get good and drunk.

Would you ever be like, Jaeger only for me tonight, everyone, and just drink a bottle of Jaeger? Maybe Jaeger bombs, especially if I was a little tired already, um, I could see doing that. Cause like the, and that's what I used to drink, uh, with,

uh, with him, you know, was, was Jaeger bombs every time. What's the one with them? Because it's like, it's a little bit of red bull and you're shot a Jaeger,

but like you down those real quick in a group generally. And then it's like, all right, well let's go get a beer or, oh, you're going to have a glass of wine. It's rare that it's like, another one! Yeah, Jager Bombs tonight. Is there one where you put a Dr. Pepper in another drink? Like a shot of Dr. Pepper in

something? Probably. I thought you guys would know it right away. Hmm. I don't order or know mixed drinks very well. They always seem festive, though. So if I'm out, I'll order a beer and like someone else order something festive. And I always regret not going for the festive route.

They get little umbrellas. Neon colors, fun glasses. Maybe I'm just wrong. These all look like uncommon things. Yeah. Anyway, Kyle, you wouldn't get drunk on Jaeger bombs. Maybe I'm just wrong. These all look like uncommon things. Yeah. But anyway, Kyle, you wouldn't get drunk on Jaeger bombs. You would maybe have a couple and then transition to whatever it is you like to drink.

Yeah, I like tequila. I would probably just drink tequila. Yeah, I would just do shots of tequila. I guess you're you were a bad person to ask because you've always been like that too where you're like no i don't want a beer i want all the alcohol in a beer inserted into me immediately rectally if possible um yeah i don't know i'd probably like kyle in that regard i don't know i don't want any of it not only do i not want to drink it i don't know. I'd probably like Kyle in that regard. I don't know. I don't want any of it. Not only do I not want to drink it, I don't want to be drunk afterwards. Just keep all that to yourself. You do you.

This Colorado trip, if we ever end up being able to take it, Woody's going to take one hit and be like, I don't like it any more than alcohol. It's so much worse. It's so much worse. Everybody seems to like it. He's impractical jokers with us just trust us i should play skyrim tap your land fuck dude the postmates guy knocks on the door what he's got him in a guillotine right away who are you who are you i'm all paranoid i hide under the couch i dropped our wings fuck dude insulting people

yeah no you'll like it just gotta introduce it nice and slow kyle do you still eat prison chili did we do this question already no we haven't done it yet um i just ordered like three or four bags of that right after I got out of prison and I ate it. But I quickly decided like it wasn't as good as once you had freedom as a side dish. It didn't didn't taste as good on the outside as it did on the inside for whatever reason. And, you know, I prepared it like the exact same way. And it just I appreciate your use of inside and outside like a pro right it didn't taste as good on the outside as it did on the inside i'm like what is he taught oh he means prison in the clink uh i love that this one's specifically addressed to taylor question

for taylor your area of expertise is blackface under a ski mask a good bank robbery technique for a white guy absolutely because then they'll suspect it's a black person but then you can't like i don't know take off your disguise very quickly you need to wear your disguise all the way to your safe point and like you have to wear your mask while driving away from the getaway scene otherwise you have a very obvious problem with maybe just blacked out eyes and mouth while driving you take it off you got the lips too for no reason no the root i didn't even do this there's a mouth hole in this mask you look like you're a minstrel show what you'd really do is you would only paint the raccoon eyes in black because that's all they can

see anyway and then that's just a couple quick makeup wipes and now you're just an innocent white man trying to enjoy a sunday afternoon wait your balaclava doesn't have a mouth hole i don't know no you know i'll yell through it i think you should go all out put on the black face but just wear a regular beanie and pull it down so there's no eye holes and no mouth hole honor system this better not be a bunch of ones. I can't see you. Why are beanies popular? Does anyone else hate them? Beanies wearing beanies? You do too? I mean, I like them for the weather.

They make my hair itchy and nothing messes up your hair in a less flattering way than a beanie. Yeah. Also, nothing tells me that you're likely bald, like wearing a beanie in inappropriate times. Like there's a,

there's this journalist, Tim pool. Oh, yes. Absolutely. The poster child of the beanie to cover up baldness. And it's like, and he's like,

if I'm recalling correctly, he's at the point of baldness where it's like you should just cut and run man like just just shave it all down embrace it just be bald you know maybe i'm like overestimating his tim pool bald well that's not a very flattering thing yeah you can see here he posted a picture and this was when oh yeah almost four years ago he posted something here and he's he's passed he's at like season eight costanza death like seasons one through four have markedly more hair than he does i don't even recognize him without a beanie and i've seen him a. I've seen hours and hours of this guy. And...

He's... Oh, wait. Wait. Are you seeing the one I saw where he's standing in front of the whiteboard and you can really see how bald the guy is? I'm seeing another one and I don't know what the truth is anymore.

I think the bald one's true. Oh, that looks like a meme to me. Yeah, he's posted pictures of himself bald. I think that's what this one is. He's clearly taking a selfie of him next to a whiteboard bald. He wears that beanie so... Oh, and by the way, this picture that I'm showing, the one with the goggles on,

you've probably seen this before. Hold on. Celebrities who don't want you to know they're going bald juicy he doesn't even look like this anymore this guy has a nice jawbone leo he's got like an angular thing going on he's what seven years younger in this picture than he is in real life yeah yeah that's definitely an older one dude just admit what you actually look like bro yeah i just just like don't just like come on you're wearing a t-shirt there you don't need a beanie he's indoors all this time like It's not snowing inside.

No. No, he wears his beanie all the time. Dan, Matthew McConaughey is really going bald there for a while, but he's faked his way back to the top. You know, I have celebrities that don't want you to know they are going bald is what you're looking at yes that was some top notch typing right there on nikki swift yeah that's on nikki swift.com so this guy not really going bald the top one david beckham uh boris johnson they're picking some weak examples here Ben Affleck

his bald spot is gone what bald spot yeah a lot of these are pretty nitpicky oh this one's good John Cryer but who the hell is that Jeremy Piven oh wow yeah he got a bunch of stuff scooped off the back of his head it looks like I'm for it but who the hell is that? Jeremy Piven. Oh, wow.

Yeah, he got a bunch of stuff scooped off the back of his head, it looks like. I'm for it. I'm for the hair. Do it. Knock yourself out. This guy, who's the James Franco? He went all the way to like Norwood Zero.

He's looking good. Elon Musk. I didn't realize he got his hair back i guess he did oh yeah big time uh caitlin jenner was developing a bald spot female pattern baldness we all know yes yes very very common dude it's like so So I watched a YouTube video on that hair... Is it hair replacement when they move your follicles from the back to the front? Is that what it's called? Yeah, or hair restoration, something like that. So apparently what they do is they take the hair from the back of your head

and put it in the front. And they do it follicle by follicle. And there's a machine that... It seems like a needle that goes in your head and sucks it in the front and they do it follicle by follicle and there's a machine that it seems to suck like a needle that goes in your head and sucks it out but they numb it with a gazillion shots and then you just feel pressure i watched a woman do it and they gave her they're like hey you know like they didn't say you want to get high but they're like you know we could give you a little something to make you feel better they'll work on that anxiety you might have during this procedure and procedure and she's like

well why not and uh sure enough it looked fucking awesome i don't know what medicine they gave her but she was just giggly and happy and compliant. Compliant. Yeah. Dude, taking that drug in my mind was clearly the right choice. She was bald here because she used to put her hair in tight ponytails all the time. And I guess I technically knew it, but I'd never seen anyone who went bald because of that. She said on her, she loved that look. It did a couple of things.

of that uh she said on her she loved that look it did a couple of things like it it made her face prettier to pull her like hair back like her it tightened up her face a little bit yeah a little bit of a facelift and something about i forget the like almond eyes or something like she used to do her eyes in a extreme way but with them pulled back it was it was a look that she really liked but she didn't realize that she was making herself bald and uh it's a bit of an ordeal they do it in one day but then after that you have like maybe 10 days of like embarrassing scalp i'll call it right and then it grows and then it sheds and then it grows back and it's probably like a couple of months before it's all said and done but i'm like really so let's call it two and a half months for this stuff to grow in and like be behind you do it do it you stay unballed right especially if you're a chick and it's 10 grand dude like just think next time you get a car

downgrade it by 10 grand we're gonna get a 40 000 car make it 30 be unballed get some hair we're gonna get a 25 000 car go 15 be unballed i think you'll like it i think you'll be like you know what that was a good call or go all bald yeah sure. But this is really advice for people who don't want to be bald. If balding is not your thing, if you're like, if you look in the mirror and don't like you do it, put the 10 grand towards that. And,

uh, and then you'll like you, which is worth a lot. Yeah. I like bald women. The most annoying part of maintaining baldness. I like compliant women. Would be constant getting rid of stubble. That would be the most annoying part of maintaining baldness would be getting rid of stubble.

That would be the most annoying part. Also, you mentioned it made her almond eyes look better. What are almond eyes? What does that mean? Those Asian eyes. I was leaning towards just meaning Asian eyes. Is that what it means? It's almost racist to do this nowadays.

But, yeah, she pulled her eyes back and it i think it like opened them and made them she liked the way her eyes look better i do the impression we are both blameless but yeah i i guess ponytails can give you like a facelift and change the shape of your eyes. And she thought it was great. And she did so much. She went bald. And then she got the hair replacement surgery. And now she's on the other side of it.

And like, I don't know. Go, girl. I'm for it. Whatever makes you feel better about you. Knock yourself out. This is almond eye surgery in London. Is this to give you more almond eyes? No, it can't be.

It's got to be the opposite. To you less so almond eyes are bad yeah nobody wants almond eyes it seems people don't want almond eyes it seems there are almond eyes and round eyes based on the first result when i typed into google images almond eyes fuck you round eye or no it says almond eyes hooded eyes downturned eyes deep set eyes deep set eyes, protruding eyes. Close protruding eyes. That's unpleasant. So I think this woman wanted almond eyes. I'm going with this picture.

Excuse me. And I think that pulling your hair back would do that. It would. Yeah. Do that. Yeah. Make your eyes look like thinner. And I think she did like an eyeliner, like make a line from the side if you've ever seen that and anyway it was a look that she liked i saw it i was like it's pretty it seems fine to me um i do know that like uh there are surgeries in asia to get rid of

like the epicanthic fold i want to see the before and after of those yeah it was uh it was like a reoccurring theme on mash like kids wanting to be more american yeah um our friend scum he's uh one quarter japanese and uh and he's got very slightly almond like eyes because asian eyes i call i use a different word when i'm talking to him but i won't use it here and uh and uh does it rhyme with clink it rhymes with clink yeah okay clink eye uh and uh he was telling one of his friends that he was like part asian they're like really i i just thought you were always tired dude look at this link i just posted it's epicanthlasty oh shit and you scroll down to like the bottom third of the page bottom you know bit and you can see before and afters oh that's much better is it the four

picture the four uh yeah the before oh i'm sorry before and after i went down a little farther i see now on the first before after like the left one like you can't like all the eyelashes are getting trapped underneath on the left side. You see? Oh God, that was awful. That looks actively uncomfortable. That looks like your eyelashes

are poking into your fucking corny all day. It looks like she works the shitty walk. corny all day. Looks like she works the shitty walk. Damn. You got this... You got a similar surgery. On the opposite side of the eye, but for cancer purposes. Yes.

Yes. Kyle's getting almond eye surgery. I'd love to see that. You come in with just like yeah i went to the clinic they were giving out free epicanthic folds and so i decided to just wait for it you know i think it looks cool yeah now i can deal with the wind of the high mongolian steps without getting as uh anthropologists believe the evolutionary trade i wish i could see more of the face yeah like i i i'm just looking at the eye and i'm not having a easy time like gauging this

person's beauty level by looking at the eyeball itself forehead implants oh that's go to the bottom they are offering some goofy goofy surgery can i Can I get the Frankenstein bolts as well coming out of my neck? I want that Klingon forehead. What? Man, come on. Be okay with your forehead, people. So where is this? If you go to the bottom, you can see all the other things they offer,

like revision eye surgery, epicantoplasty. I just don't see forehead. Face contouring on the right column uh-huh implants forehead okay and there's smile line fat grafting liposuction kyle you're on reddit too did you see that woman who had her i guess it's called a weak jaw a weak chin she had her weak chin enhanced no oh i wonder if i could find it again um she looks like a new person it was i again if you want plastic surgery I think you should get it listeners she's a place to go is it reddit before and after what's the name of the subreddit

and it's all about like totally botched plastic surgery that's scary too I take it back it might be called botched plastic surgery. Yeah, just botched surgeries. Oh, botched plastic surgeries. Botched surgeries is probably a little grosser. Yeah, it's botched surgeries.

Yeah, it's there's some crazy shit over there. I like when the guys get the fake muscles like the the oil injections the synthol there's some picture floating around from like probably 20 years ago of an Indian guy who did that and he's got like the

full on hip just big tits look at this couple they both got plastic surgery hooked on the look oh no the guy on the left doesn't look real yeah they're going for ken and uh barbie yeah she i don't think barbie had tits like that i'm okay with what she's done to herself about the organs though what about her organs what am i what am i looking to harvest her organs you think i care what's happening to her liver in there you're right there's no room for my dick in there kyle oh there's room you haven't seen it lately

pillsbury dough can yeah it's like when you It's like when you buy a mattress. Well, you know, I've been pimping this plastic surgery and what do you think I've had done? It's like giant now. Jesus Christ, this Swedish girl was severely brain damaged 10 years ago during a cheap breast enhancement surgery in Poland

and now she's like crippled and retarded. Oh man, not a good trade-off. Oh, look at this. Oh no. This person wanted Lord of the Rings elf

ears. You can show this, Kyle. Or you can show this, Woody. Oh, I did work. And the right is the Goblin of Moria that she became wow this turned out poorly that's awful

what happened to all the normal ear pieces what do they do with the rest of her ear like fold it over and glue it oh that's such a fuck up that is a shame she does I wonder is that always you think she just has a ear pore phase That's such a fuck up. That is a shame. Bad ear pores.

I wonder, is that always you think she just has an ear pore phase right now? You know, like everyone gets a pimple here and there. Does she just have a little bit of No, that's forever. That's forever. She's got bad ear pores. That's unfortunate. Yeah. Oh, man. For all I know, I do too. I can't really see him.

Simon Cowell? Wow. He looks like he's dying from the top of his head down. Doesn't he? Oh, he looks so ridiculous. He looks like his mouth is still alive, but his eyes just died and the nose is in the middle

of dying. Like he's slowly shutting down he looks fucking terrible why does he think this looks good just just something this is him at an award show all made up too that's the best he could look there's you need some forehead wrinkles to hold the eyebrows up i guess to the point that the eyebrows are lazily hanging over the eyes it's weird it's it's just not right right like his teeth 10 out of 10 they look great to me his nose no trouble no trouble with the nose his forehead looks good somehow his cheeks and eyes are just that's that's all i'm seeing that needs to be fixed

he's got tarred eye those teeth are way too much they're they're they're shockingly white they are whiter than the white lettering on the wall behind him they are okay i mean i i've heard people say his teeth are overly perfect before. Maybe they are. Oh, goddamn. What are you showing me now, Taylor? This is a child. That's an adult Asian woman.

Oh. Yeah. She wanted her lips to look like this. Heart-shaped lips. It looks like she got fucked in the mouth by captain herpes yeah now everyone can smell her breath always she can't seal her mouth oh she's gonna be chewing with her mouth open the rest of her life oh every time you get some spinach stuck in your tooth i think that's polite in china though to have spinach in your teeth

big wads of it and mash it in there every day before they head out. It is a sign of great respect. I mean, you can afford spinach. Like, everyone knows that you can actually afford spinach. Oh, I'm showing that arrogant bastard with his spinach teeth. I show him I get the lamb stuck in my retainer. Fake retainer. Yeah, these are some horrible, horrible mistakes.

This is another. This guy, human can remove my ribs and now I can't walk without a corset. Play stupid games, my friend. Oh, man. Some of these are like mental illness yeah that's the oh i'm totally i have no expertise here but just by watching celebrities and stuff it seems like you get one maybe two plastic surgeries you go in for your third or your fourth and suddenly you're just wrong in too many ways yeah like this right angle jaw it looks like a check mark

yeah it's so funny that they put the green check mark there because oh it looks like a check mark oh that's terrible it's too angular yeah i mean she was did she want that that's what i want to know because to be honest i don't love her before jaw either right she's someone who maybe would benefit from that jaw surgery but what did she what she got did she want a an attractive jaw or you know like that the woman that wanted elf ears clearly she didn't want fucked up ears like that but she did want something in that direction did this woman say oh no check mark jaw check mark job all about the check mark jaw you know that doesn't exist in humans this one it does is that how it went that might be or it might be someone who's really upset that now they can like

sharpen kitchen knives on their jaw it's just not good well that's actually pretty handy this is the like i don't know what it looks like on the outside but look at the nostrils this woman can only breathe through her mouth now because of how much they ruined her nostrils that looks like an easy fix i've got a you take a pineapple core yeah right a hammer and a dowel that's a cheap fix yeah i feel like i could call me woman i can fix this in like 10 minutes and get out that lever action rifle ears five grand five grand i'll get that for you take me five minutes this person injected cement into their ass we couldn't show that on the screen uh yeah i can't find the woman who had the great surgery anyway she had a really

really really really weak chin and she was uh she just looked like she was ugly but in a way that like you don't see that level of ugly every day you know she looked terrible and she got her jaw sort of fixed and she was pretty legit pretty i'm like this woman's life is going to be improved by this it's not someone whose boobs got a cup size bigger or someone who uh i don't know i br wrinkles got got a tone down a little bit. Like, not that. This woman is a new person now. And I'm like, yeah, good for you, girl.

Go. Like, I'm glad you did something about it. Yeah, vaginoplasty is another one that does that. It does not. What are you? It's actually labioplasty. A vaginoplasty is when they turn a penis into a vagina whoops that will make a big difference

I don't make a huge I'm basing my entire knowledge on the South Park episode I watched last night where they turned Mr. Garrison's penis into a vagina and they called it a vaginoplasty well I trust South Park. I do too.

You're probably right. Oh, man. Why would you do any of this to yourself? You know what? If you're going to get plastic surgery, don't price shop at all. Look up most expensive surgeon in your area and then tell them you'll pay a bonus

to make sure it's good. Go into it knowing you're going to drop more than necessary because that seems to be the only option. Some of these people look alien. They don't look like their souls have been removed. How would you actually choose a plastic surgeon?

Craigslist. I guess there's that. More seriously, before and after pictures you would go and like hope they have a giant gallery and then compare those oh or ask for like a i feel like as plastic surgeons before and after pictures are like a youtuber's gameplay they just call the top one percent and act like that's their average game true yeah i don't i don't know how to pick a plastic surgeon.

It's scary. I'm looking for labiaplasty before and after. Can't show that. I did like weak chin plastic surgery because maybe I can't find that woman, but I can find someone like him. No one is as dramatic a before and after as that person was

some of these people look like they've been punished like they've been MC or MK Ultra style government testing oh here you go feast your eyes and oh god damn feast your eyes feast your eyes

labiaplasty before and after individual results might vary Oh, God damn. Feast your eyes. Feast your eyes. Labiaplasty before and after. Individual results might vary. All right. Well, that top one there, that's a major improvement. There's only one, right? There's just the one that I see there. Yeah.

Okay. It is a major improvement. It also doesn't look like I see there. Yeah. Okay. It is a major improvement. It also doesn't look like the same woman. Exactly. That's how you know they did a good job. But like she turned. What did she start naked tanning afterwards? Yeah.

Her self-esteem improved. It is funny. Some of these, like the before picture picture the pussy is pulled so wide apart it's like the doctor or the nurse like has like ready tied up and it's like pulling them a little bit to the suckers like this is not a natural flop for these long pussy natural it's not the way they general tend to flop when they're sitting down you just know the doctor's like how how girthy how big can we get let's unfurl that, unroll this, just a little bit of Gorilla Glue, slap that on the side. Yeah.

Time for the photo. It looks so angry before. It looks like... The doctor's like nagging them. He's like, I just need the photo. It looks like it came from another dimension to devour me. I'm just going to ask you, this is the only procedure you wanted okay all right just just confirming yeah titties in there yeah

well this is interesting kyle a lot of these or at least a couple of them i clicked on the the after result looks weird like it it's not your preferred any. It's a, I don't know. I don't know. I would, I would prefer if though, if they were just completely gone,

like they don't exist anymore. Put a dick down there for you to suck. No, the, the, the, the, what is it?

The labia menorah was just nixed. Yeah. Maybe it's like the little, the pinky toe. Maybe we're evolving out of the need for that. I, I haven't used mine in a coon's age. Yeah. Pinky toes, truly useless. I remember I got that like old wives, Taylor, whatever mixed up when I was a kid.

And I thought like, yeah, if you lose your pinky toe, you can't even walk. You just fall everywhere you try to go and then someone like later in life was like that's your big toe you fucking idiot and I was like oh that makes more sense that it would be the important toe that actually I hate looking at this woman's nose I don't know why they left it like this you ever get like

a stuffy nose you know how how frustrating that is like spend a day or two with a stuffy nose not being able to breathe this would be infuriating yeah how do you get out of your body do you have to suck sniff and swallow all of it you have to like use a neti pot dump that in your fucking well you can't even do that because it won't run out the other side you'll just have salty water all up in your fucked up nasal cavity then you're getting brain rot oh they already had it jesus that looks awful

yeah none of these look good oh this guy yeah this guy has the uh the male pec implants which is like just fucking bench dude don't just just just bench i promise you're going to get better results bench pressing than you will with this. Are you, Taylor? Oh, they look awful. Actually, these look bad. I said that before I started. These look like boobs. I was going to be like, Taylor, you're like a hyper responder to weightlifting.

So you come at this from a different angle than maybe a skinnier guy. But no, you're right. looks those look like breast implants they are breast implants that they literally are like like what else could they be they're implanting something in his titty yeah i just thought they'd have one a different shape for guys these look like girl breast implants they look awful see there's two like On a pec, the nipple is at the bottom of it. On a breast, the nipple is more in the middle. And this is mid-place nipple. Was this guy always a guy? That's what I'm wondering.

Maybe he has a good doctor. The bullseye just moved. This guy has definitely been a guy his whole life he's clearly trying to look like jacked fail yeah get titty fucked look at that like

I wonder what I wonder what they feel like they feel like I touched a fake have you ever touched a breast implant Taylor mm-hmm you have I never have and this man maybe this guy be fun to play around with you know Have you ever touched a breast implant, Taylor? You have? I never have. And this guy, man, maybe this guy would be fun to play around with, you know. You know,

close your eyes. Hey, it's Teddy Fuck Tom! Get over here! Yeah! No, it's not gay! It's just fun! Oh, we've done the Dane Cook one. Dane Cook cook he looks bad now really plastic surgery is a risky look at this woman though

okay yeah that's a good one then what happened to her nose they fixed that too huh they scooped it out yeah what they work on her like she might have lost her cheeks look thinner right like like she got obviously she has a better nose fucking lot done here like her lips look better her cheeks look better her no it's a different nose it's a she had a penguin beak before her eyes even look better and it's a better angle her chin's better they fixed her hair did her makeup and instead of like a shitty waiting room they put her in some sort of a fucking caribbean cruise one of them's got instagram filters and the other one is like you're in a dingy they upgraded that she went in for a nose job and they upgraded her whole life and put her on a carnival cruise yeah but god damn i mean like i i don't want to like evaluate humans based on what they look like on

the outside but tell me that woman on the right isn't going to live a better life than the one on the left probably yeah i wouldn't fuck the one on the left i'll say that for damn see the one on the right might get fucked by kyle that's right now your life's really it's all downhill from there. Wait, how about this? Woody, would you use this doctor? This little video. I don't have the sound on. But this is a doctor.

In botched surgeries, my knee-jerk reaction is no. I'm going to say I wouldn't use him. I want to hit him in the face with a frying pan so bad. It might just shatter like porcelain. I hate looking at him. I hate him too.

His coy little eyebrows and his no forehead wrinkles looking like an automaton. Come on, you're a man. You should have some forehead wrinkles. What a fucking ghoul. His lips are ruined, but I think it's temporary. It's that collagen what is the collagen collagen is that it there's like a it's probably collagen what's the numbing one botox does botox no you're probably right it's collagen anyway so the lips thing i think they're going to tone down

into something more reasonable but the he makes an expression i don't like all the time but i think he can't stop making i think he likes that expression like he knows something i don't is what i'm reading on his face yeah and it yeah every he's like a guy who has facial tattoos almost. Like, hey, regardless of who you are. Look at that honky tonk badonkadonk. You are going to form, some people are going to form an opinion about you before they get to know you. Of course. Show them that ass. I'm about to.

Look at this guy. He's got nice calves. He does have nice calves. It's like, all right, Monday, ass day. Tuesday, ass day. Tuesday, ass day. What the heck? Ass and calves day. I want to see him

bend over and twerk it. I want to see it. I want to see it move. This guy can squat 1,300 pounds. No, it's natural. Like, why would he do this? Would you buy those shorts? Really?

They're juicy for men. They have a hyper-flexible plastic used in the space station. I'm going the other way again. I got one. A good one? Check out the improvement this woman made I was looking the nose looks the same the chin

chin looks I was going through like a list to see how much oh I'm sorry I understand jumping out at me as the door the explorer finally grew up all right I love her haircut yeah can you spell chin can I love her haircut Can you spell chin? Can

Dude look at that That is dramatic Her hair changed color Where is the beauty in a person? You don't think it's in their jaw But it turns out the jaw contains a lot of their beauty Yeah you need a strong powerful jaw that can bite through bamboo and that's why i've started chewing on bolts if i ever fall into a punji pit just

gnaw my way out gnaw my way out to freedom to sepsis in a hospital instead of dying in a pit i love that she also like changed her whole life apparently like her hair's better uh her background is infinitely better. I've known so many girls that do this nonsense with the Christmas lights behind their bed. Yeah. Yeah. It truly is universal. I don't know.

Look, plastic surgery is great. I bet this second person is happier when they look in the mirror every day. I bet that it's an actual life upgrade for them what if she's like two-faced and the other side is just ruined some of these breast implants like this lady looks like one's trying to run away making a break for it you're crazy left tit ah you stay here then right tit god what was she thinking even yeah that's terrible not mine i mean i mean i'd still fuck her i just i want to see those goblins look at the black woman in the background like god damn can i show the one taylor just linked i feel like we're on the wrong yeah it's just cleavage it's just extreme cleavage oh i guess i can show that i mean none

of that's even real person anymore well she has a shot at getting fucked by kyle look at the one i linked yeah see that's a really good one right well she can't open coconuts anymore but she is more attractive no is it two parents open coconuts what are we doing yeah i don't know look if if you need to go get it that's where my head is on this yeah this is like a darwin you're right about the bird thing she was like she evolved from the nut and seed eating darwin's finch into the insect eating darwin's finch yeah the well-known hottest finch type oh i'm thank you david adenborough this one i've never seen before i didn't know they could do something about this or even that it was much of a problem. Oh, the gum thing? Yeah. It's not a problem I see a lot in white people, but I see a lot of black people who have

lots and lots of gums. Now that you say it, yeah. The top of the teeth and the bottom of the lip, you mean? In this image right here, the top picture, they've got that, whatever that's called. It's just being a little gummy i think they call it yes well anyway it's probably enough

this one she have to show them this they look like in Hellraiser when the hooks are in their face. Yeah, the hooks are pulling them apart. It's about to pull them apart. That guy looks like he's about to be killed by Hellraiser. They all look like they're about to be killed by Hellraiser. Hellraiser would absolutely kill them. He looks like he's been stung by murder

hornets. How many people is this? Four? How many people is this? You're right. I was like, man, that's a huge transition from one to two. And then I was like, oh, that's different people. One's a woman. Or was it a sex change? Like, like, like.

Well, now I'm an ugly man forever. Let's roll the dice on the other option. Ah, fuck. I'm even uglier. Yikes. Yep. You got to get a good surgeon. This guy looks like he got stung by Eastern European hornets.

I've known some girls that got $10,000 titties, and I've known some girls that got $2,500 titties. Get what you pay for. Yeah. Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe price is the way you can tell how good different ones are. I mean, I charge $ 20,000 to do it, mostly because I'm unlicensed and I've never done it before.

So price really can't always tell you. But I think it is a good starting place. Yeah. On the bright side, you're getting really adept at disposing of biomaterial. Whew. 110 pounds at a time. You know, they'll never be able to prove this. I never left my quadrant.

That's right. I don't leave my quadrant. I'm finally leaving my quadrant this week for the first time, and I just got an email back from my probation officer. Oh, did you? Yeah. And he said yes. Yeah, yeah.

He was like, didn't even like, he was just like, yeah, enjoy your Thanksgiving. Like, he didn't care. So that's cool. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors tonight.

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Absolutely. Can we do an AMA? Oh. AMA question? I broke up with my high school sweetheart of seven years a month ago. I kept feeling the urge to have something new. She was my first girlfriend. So I ended it. I've been so sad without her.

Do you guys think it was the right decision? I seriously love this girl more than anything in the world. How could we possibly know if it was the right decision when he gave us no idea why he made the decision he just had the urge for something new any more information i don't fucking know yeah he wanted that ice cream sundae and she was she was lactose intolerant like he wanted to fuck a black girl like he he he he just wanted to fuck a different girl like that's it i think i don't know as i read it i interpret that they were together for seven years they probably were talking about marriage and stuff i mean seven years uh and they're at that

they're in their 20s now well it's hard to know exactly what his age is. And he was like, you know what? She's the only girl I've ever dated. I wonder what else is out there. I'm going to dump her and go for something different just to see what other people are like. Well, you don't have to dump her for that. Jesus. Tell her.

It's not like I said fucking drug her and then fuck another girl on top of her unconscious body which might okay you found something worse you're like oh jesus christ infidelity oh i'm right yeah just cheat on her no i i yeah get after it i don't i don't like that i don't like that but i know you don't you asked me though fair true true anyway uh i don't i part of me is like this is a real person whose heart hurts who i'm answering another part is yes obviously you fucked up you dated her for seven years you miss her terribly you're so sad without her and you had no reason to break up with her

the fuck were you thinking she'd be a fool to take you back you dummy oh she'll take you back you broke up with her for nothing exactly now she's she spent this whole time this interim thinking like why did he do it what's wrong with me how many things are wrong with me she's been just doing all sorts of self-improvement now she'll realize how lucky she is to have had him all this time right probably got an eating disorder by now you're get back get back in there and and uh and then just you know you can still look for other women just don't tell her about it or do tell her about it it's been a month that's my guess is uh seven guys by now have uh experienced

what you're missing and you fucked up big time i i know i it's a shame no i don't think it was the right decision if you seriously loved her more than anything in the world and dumped her just to try something new yeah i like chocolate ice cream but if i'd never branched out and found rocky road i'd have never known what my favorite ice cream was it's actually red velvet cake but that's irrelevant where do you find that it's ben and jerry's makes that shit it's 1100 calories a pint is that more than other ice cream oh yeah like double it's it's absurd it's absurd yeah i would probably like it the most too let's just not so fucking see the counter argument i don't know what red velvet ice cream is like therefore i'm not thirsting for it is like therefore i'm not thirsting for it well yeah i mean we could all just eat oatmeal and uh and and water and and then we'd never taylor let me let me read the question to you are you ready taylor good to go i just broke up with my high school sweetheart of seven years a month ago

i kept feeling the urge to have something new. She was my first girlfriend, so I ended it. I've been so sad without her. Do you think it was the right decision? I seriously love this girl more than anything in the world. It's not enough information, really. That's what Kyle said. Ah. I don't know.

I heard they dated seven years. He's sad without her, and he loved her more than anything in the world. He fouled out. I mean, you could say that. It could also be that he's young enough that he doesn't have the perspective to know. Because if he was wrapped up in her for seven years, think about that. Let's say they started dating their freshman year of high school, I guess. They're only juniors in college by the time that seven years is up.

How old are you as a junior? you really made him young though oh i i was just okay well let's say it let's say he's 23 at the time of it like what made up age did you give your guy what i made him like a junior or something like if it lasted i'm putting him towards the end of high school but maybe i'm just crazy but yeah make him 23 him 23. I was married. We'll put them in the middle. We'll put them in the middle. So like 16 to 23 is that seven years. And that's seven years in the 23-year-old's life. That's almost a third. And it's like the most important third,

the most recent one. That first third doesn't mean shit. Yeah, you don't know what's going on, man. So I would say just maybe pick up a hobby, maybe try and go fuck some other girl. Get it out of your head that she was the one and only for you. Don't go into that one itis thing where it's like, oh, she was the one and only for me. And now I'm doomed to a life of loneliness. Like that's going to be self-defeating. And if you do that, what you're going to do is isolate yourself. And then when you're not getting pussy, you're going to

develop a resentment of women. And it's going to be self, it's gonna be a cycle of you being mad. You can't get pussy. And it's not going to be happy. Get out there immediately and try and have some fun is what I would recommend. So what do you think about what I said, Taylor? And that was that since you just sounds like he just flat broke up with her after seven years and probably couldn't give much of a good explanation for why he's breaking up with her. She's probably been very self-conscious for the last month, doing a lot of self-improvement, just nitpicking herself, maybe losing some weight, getting a little fitter, maybe upping her fashion sense, getting a makeover.

She's probably as good as she's ever been right now. Get back in with her, and then just keep fucking other girls. I like that idea. Another option, go back to your old high school and find a new high school sweetheart. You can be that guy who hangs around your old high school and everyone knows is really creepy and weird other than the impressionable girls at high school. So do you remember, do you guys,

everybody remembers that? I remember I was maybe a junior year in high school, which is 17. And this girl I was in class with, we weren't like tight friends or anything, but we would chit chat and saw each other socially occasionally. She was like, yeah, my boyfriend's coming in town. And I was like, oh, neat. That's cool. She's like, yeah, he's 22.

And I wanted to be like, your boyfriend's a fucking loser. Was she hot, though? She she was prime wasn't she yeah yeah and but it was just like but the point of it was really like me and all the other guys were like dude if you catch me coming back here and hanging out when i'm 22 i want you to kill me no 22 year-old Taylor just didn't figure it out. You can pull the hottest high school girls at 22 if you're just normal. Oh, does your current boyfriend have a bedtime?

Oh! I have a house. I've had a bottle of vodka in my own car, and I haven't seen my parents in almost a year. Oh, of course I'm well-developed. That's why I'm hanging out here after lacrosse practice to pick you up. Taylor, if there's one thing we should all,

if we could play this game, we got another playthrough in this. 22-year-old Woody would be slaying sophomores. I mean, I've got half... I have to check the dates on that. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, 16 to consent. Sophomore's fine, I think.

Maybe junior. 22 minus 16... No, they have to be junior. They have to be juniors. ...equals 8 to 12 mandatory. That's heavy. Now, 16-year-old can consent to grownups. I'm prison Woody.

No, no, no. Yeah, 14 and 15 have to consent within four years. If you're four years apart, check birthdays. 16, free to go. I mean, I'm just now at the age where I could go back to those schools and pick up on the young teachers.

Like the 22, 23-year-old teachers that are just starting out. You know, that's the plan if anything ever goes south pick up on the young teachers yeah just go the offer's still open i'll uh how about that covid uh i'll take her i'll take her out at the knees i'll give her a nancy kerrigan you'll you'll just free to free to move on why why uh dude that that clip uh i mean i'm sure it wasn't funny for the woman being hit with the bat but it just it's kind of funny now yeah nancy kerrigan

she was the one that got hit with a fucking bat. Wait, was she the... Tonya Harding was the white trash one, right? No, no, no. Tonya Harding got hit with the bat. Kyle's right. Oh, okay. Tonya Harding, she hired the hitman. Also made porn. You know, we did talk about that once before.

Yeah, okay. You might be having amnesia about this Kyle I'm almost positive you found the video of Tanya Harding doing porn after these four hours transpire I erase them from my brain there's no need to hang on to the stuff that happens it's so true

it's like we'll finish the show what did we talk about fuck something we've been going for four hours It's so true. It's like, we'll finish the show. What do we talk about? Fuck. Something. We've been going for four hours. People will tweet me things I said the night before. And I'm like, that's fucked up. Oh, that was me.

That's a thing I said. All right. All right. It's mostly that angle you hate where it's all like button balls. Huh? Not even worth seeing. Okay okay she's on top now it's terrible quality this is vhs quality true true it's a while ago well you don't want kernia i'm sorry current tanya harding no i don't uh your favorite um ex-porn star heather brooke uploaded a blowjob video to

the internet the other day. She's all plastic and old now, though. Are you subscribed? No, I don't pay for any online pornography. I did subscribe once to a 4K version of Pornhub or something. Just because I just had gotten a 4K monitor and I wanted to see what 4k porn looked like it's better so I yeah you know like I thought it was interesting

like they know what they're doing they know they're making 4k porn so like those tiny little hairs on a girl's butt like when it's like cold in the room and they're like prickling out those little goose pimples like they're like highlighting those and like I don't know like super close-ups of uh of nipples and shit i it was fine i didn't continue to pay nine dollars a month for 4k porn because i don't like professional

porn for one thing and then true like three days ago i unsubscribed from uh only fans i won't say who's but i'm i don't want to be mean, but me and Woody had a whole conversation. The big brain move, Kyle, is to transfer your subscription to somebody else. I don't want to pay for nude photos of women. It just seems like... I don't want to do that.

It was your money for a while anyway. That's how I justified it in my mind. I won a bet. I was like, this justified it in my mind that I won a bet. And I was like, this is just Woody's money that I'm sending over. Still is. I mean, it was $100 you won, if I recall. That's a good 10 months. Yeah, yeah.

I think she was $1,250 a month. But Taylor, did I share with you the photo that made me quit? No, no, you didn't. Let me show you real quick. I like to think that a lot of people quit. That that person put out that photo and their fan base cut in half. Oh, no.

This is real big news. Is this even a secret? Yeah, I don't want to say who it is. It's me. It's mean to say. People know anyway, but I won't want to say who it is it's me it's mean to say people know but I won't say it out loud it's taking me just a moment because I'm

having to like I don't I want to imply that when Kyle saw this photo he could no longer kid himself about this person's true identity something like that. Ah, okay.

He's looking for a bigger response. Be like, ah, I see. Yeah, I see what you're talking about. Can't share. Well, now you're saving money $12.50 a month You gotta win another bet with Woody I did, I haven't been paid yet

But I got the Jeopardy I forgot about that Did you pay Taylor? Oh no, I need to pay I need to pay you $10 I'm glad I'm not the only one Give me your PayPal email and I'll send it Kyle, how much is it?

I think it's $10 each. What are your new bets? I bet $200. I made this bet on November 20th and I picked Joe Biden to win the presidency. I think it's a good bet.

I'm pretty confident wait which one on november 20th i bet one of my facebook friends that joe biden would win 200 i bet on this he's that confident that trump is the true winner of the election that had happened seven days 17 days prior shit okay so so ask him if he wants more action tell him that you know things are getting really difficult now and so you want him to give you odds just amp it up act afraid put on your acting hat if you look an extra hundred dollars out of this idiot that guy's not gonna i already did i i it started as a 100 bet and he talked more trash and i'm like double it and he said yes yeah 17 days after the election november 20th we made a bet holy fucking shit see when you first

phrased this i was i thought you were referring to like the next cycle like four years from now that biden would win again like be re-elected no that's that no no to be clear it was about the election that had happened 17 days prior when i win i'm going to offer him more bets on like football games that have already transpired who wins the nba championship last year shit like that he got on the jets game last saturday i might start this line of humor already Who got on the Jets game last Saturday? I might start this line of humor already. Who got on the Jets game last Saturday? All right, Kyle.

Your $10 is set. Yeah, let me catch up. I need to pay, too. Who do you think is going to be the next president of the United States after Joe Biden, 2024? Probably Kamala Harris. Because Biden won't run again because he's going to lose his mind fully any day. I would say Kamala most likely.

Can I go third? Yeah, Donald Trump. Oh, you say Trump. If he were a 65-year-old man, I would be on board with you because he's still got a lot of popular support. But he's just too old, man. Four years. We've talked about it. That's like half a decade of time, and he is in the final lap.

Four years is enough time for a lot of cataclysmic shit to go down for a guy in his 70s. So Taylor's not crazy. But I have a different reason. I think that Trump will really like post-presidency. I know there's a group out there that thinks that he was draining the swamp and he's the purest president we've ever had. I think the opposite. I think he is the most corrupt, dirty president. And when he gets a taste of that post-presidency corruption, the $625,000 Goldman Sachs speeches that Hillary gave,

Trump's going to charge a million. He's going to charge a million, take credit for the latest stock price or something, and he'll be earning millions of dollars on the 15-minute increment. And the idea of being president again will not be as attractive because a better job than president is ex-president.

He's going to like his new gig more than his current one. That's what I think. And to answer Kyle's question, my bet's on Paul Ryan as the next president. Oh, no. I don't think he has any popular support. You can't hang in there with Donald Trump. If Trump wants to take America back, he will. That's my thought process.

I think that Biden is do a bit of gun grabbing, might raise some taxes. I think he's going to upset a lot of conservatives over the next four years. And I think that we are going to be primed to swing right back over to the right again. And Donald Trump is going to be campaigning for the next four years uh just his twitter is just going to be the best thing ever he thought his twitter was good as a president where do you see it as an ex-president he's just going to be shitting on these people will be funnier continuously like i bet he gets a tv show or like some other platform for him to like do his something just makes his own thing he might make his own news channel he could do whatever the

fuck he wants i could be wrong you know a couple things are weighing in my head one i've been predicting the economy downturn for a while now i was kind of wrong about that for the last four years or at least maybe i'm right right now, but that's COVID. Anyway, I think the economy will downturn sometime during Biden's presidency and the next president will be a Republican. Not necessarily Biden's fault, but timing, right? Who has like 16 year economic upswings? That's too long. think the republicans are about like you can tell just by the response of a lot more establishment republicans kind of like paul ryan mitch mcconnell those that that kind of you know cruz rubio that cavalcade of assholes and they all actively clearly did not want trump to win they don't

like him at all and so they pretended they liked him for the last four years they pretended to but they are overjoyed now that it's just back to boilerplate establishment politics and they can just do whatever they want again and so they're going to run on what is a tremendously unpopular like paul ryan ted cruz nicki haley neocon pro-war pro-intervention kind of thing and that has been demonstrated for the republican base like a lot of the middle class republican base that they don't like that they don't want the foreign interventionism they don't't want, you know, taxes on the middle class raised. And so like, I think that there's going to be a big exodus from the Republican party in that way where they're like, what the fuck? Like, no, we're not, we're not voting for you again. So maybe I'm wrong. And, but also like a lot of

the swing States have been marching blue for a long time. Like the voting base is just more people who tend to vote blue. And so like the fact that texas georgia so many of these are up we're up in the air this election like there there's not a state that we can point to in the last what few decades that's marched rightward that's what it was a purple and that's more red i mean it's it trump barely or trump won florida i guess he won florida better than like bush did in 2000 so that's true But even then, like Florida won it two times in a row. Yeah, yeah, he did. So it just doesn't doesn't seem likely like Georgia is going to be gone. Arizona, New Mexico, those used to be toss ups up until Reagan's amnesty thing in the 80s. It wasn't California more of a toss up or

more red. And then he was like, all right right all immigrants have voting rights and amnesty and whatever and then it flipped so i think we'll see a good bit of that i i don't think anyone on the on the republican like people who still like identify as a republican at this point i think they identify more with trump than they do with cruz rubio those people you might be right. I look at what happened to Sarah Palin, and she was this bright star in the Republican Party when she was running for vice president. She was the attack dog. She was charismatic.

Everybody loved her. And then after she lost the authority and respect that came with being the vice presidential contender. I don't know the term for it. But then they looked at her and they're like, she's a kook. She's a wacko. She doesn't have a deep depth of knowledge on world history and stuff like that could happen to trump that when he does his misspelled all caps tweets they'll be viewed through a different lens post-presidency than they were current presidency

they might be i just know that like you can see like even on social media and stuff that like the supposed like all the new class of republicans like that eyepatch guy crenshaw and he'll just he's like straight up just straight up now saying like we need to increase our amount of activity in iran we need to be on it we need to be on you know on the doorstep we got to get them over there so they can't come get us here and it's like oh okay so new president hasn't even been inaugurated that and it's and it's back to just war warmongering okay so i agree with your stance on that but i don't think we're in the majority especially republicans i think republicans love to mix it up a little bit you know you start going

to war they salute the flag maybe i mean i feel like this has to run out at some point like i mean oh no it goes for lifetimes at this point it's generational wars biden and kamala are going to be more hawkish. I hope not. I hope you're wrong. I hope I'm wrong too, but I mean, every establishment politician really wants us involved over there, and they're going to get what they want because they always get what they

want. Taylor, you don't understand. There's mad men over there. They're all mad men. Those leaders are mad men that we need to contain. Oh, God. same thing over and over you're gonna learn some new guy's name that name is only going to resonate in your brain not you necessarily as like bad guy it'll be like you hear hitler and you know he was the bad team right you hear qaddafi and you know he was the bad team a milosevic uh saddam hussein he was our ally but no you know like

all you have to do is say hussein a barack obama is like my was clearly named by someone who didn't anticipate my name my run for president which is funny uh for the longest time what was it gaddafi in libya was like hey i'm the only reason there isn't a huge problem of like migrants coming up into europe from africa he's like you guys know that right like i'm the bulwark at the northern part of africa and then the obama administration droned him fucked up that entire country now there's like slave markets and shit and then what happened right after that freedom freedom now there's freedom in libya yes now there's true true we've established true libertarianism no rules just right that's they put the wait is that Outback slogan? No, that's my Central African dictator slogan.

No rules, just right. That's also the slogan of Outback Steakhouse. I'm Chieftain Taylor. This is brought to you by the Bloomin' Onion. Yeah, anyway. Outback Republic. I hope you're wrong about Biden being a hawk. I'm with you on that issue.

I also, I can't tell you why I think establishment Republicans will regain control of the Republican Party outside of the fact that they've always controlled it with the exception of four years. years like if the yankees won every time except once i wouldn't say well clearly the yankees uh influence on their influence is done now it's cooked we're gonna go back now it's all about the cardinals like no they'll be back yeah they're gonna try to get back definitely but i mean they just and they're like Republican, like establishment Republican grassroots support is just nothing. Like, who goes out to see Rubio? Who goes out to see Cruz?

Like, people went out to see Trump. Nobody gives a fuck what Nikki Haley's saying. If Biden has taught us anything, it's that AstroTurf support works just fine. That's true. That's true. AstroTurf support, supported fine. That's true. That's true. AstroTurf support, supported by big tech, is pretty handy. Nikki Haley needs to show a little more titty.

Does she? I need to do a little research. I'm on this too. Let me see. Does Kyle have a good point here? You know what's funny? That's the first thing about this political talk I've Googled. Finally, 40 hot and sexy nicki haley pictures

i want to say there's a deep fake i i can't be teased no these are all legit no no i'm sure yours are but i i want a fake some of these are not that legit like here i'll show everyone these look this to me looks like they photoshopped and stretched her out a little bit. Made her taller and thinner. Here she is normal. Here it is again. They stretched her.

Some of these are just absurd deep fakes. Oh, there's a whole porn website called MrDeepFakes.com. Oh, you know what? I don't think that this is real at all. This site is frustrating. They've taken... Oh, that's her. That's her, Taylor.

You were right. It's probably her. They've taken half... If you scroll through this, guys, the one that I linked, half of them are her stretched out and made taller and thinner. Let's see. Okay. She's stretched there.

Right. Oh, they squished her here. That didn't go well. They squished her own one. Stretched. Stretched. Yeah. Stretched. Stretched. Stretched. here that didn't go well do this squish your own one stretched stretched yeah stretched stretched stretched look oh look at the dog the poodle thing oh you'd make a better representative than me um she's pretty she clearly was hot um i love that phrase she clearly was hot yeah no the uh who's the chick from uh from she's indian yeah of course who's the chick from australia or excuse me hawaii daughter feather

dot okay no she's her name is nimrata nikki randhawa haley it's the nimrata and the rondhawa that give it away well she's not kamala harris is indian she beat her to the vp punch ah that's i saw her she's like she is the first female vp the first black vp and the first like southeast asian vp or no maybe it's southwest asian vp whatever indian vp and i'm like can you be both i feel like she took double credit on that i agree you shouldn't be able to double dip but as long as we're picking people on immutable characteristics to make sure that you know everybody gets a fair chance that's great that's good it's like a net gain for the country that we gauge

things now in the first XYZ to do this it's like the first dwarf Taylor's like wait a minute I'm backtracking this is actually good I was being sarcastic before but now that I think about Peter Winkle, fuck whatever his name is. Dinkman?

All right, all right. What's his name? He played Tyrion Lannister, a show that you watched religiously for eight years. I saw the credits. I'm going to go with Peter Dinkman. I think I do know his name peter dink man is that your final answer not anymore we'll find out next week it's not winkman and apparently it's not dinkman dink lidge maybe peter dinklage is closer still peter it's not winklage dinklage dinklage i'm gonna go with peter dinklage final answer i think there you go all right all right all right

one all right now here's the coup de grace who played in home alone oh fuck macaulay caulkin macaulay caulkin right yeah all right i got it was it still up on the browser no actually it's not god damn it i forgot i almost switched it though i was like it's either macaulay caulkin or calling macaulkin it's one of those for sure i would have loved another calling macaulkin it just becomes a 40 minutes a week oh god damn i gotta close this this fucking box surgery is reddit this is so interesting i sent you a Taylor Swift blowjob video for Mr. Deepfakes they did an okay job alright

let's take a look at what we got here what oh I just inserted that into my word doc Taylor Swift this is weird yes I'm 18 yes I'm 18 yes i'm 18 oh wow well sometimes her lips are in front of the penis like it's it's not right all the time

yeah yeah but they've done their best and they've done a good job dude we're we're honestly one election cycle from even like a video of a congressman raping a kid won't even be like admissible they'll be like that's just a deep fake it's like but it shows you you're wearing uh i survived epstein's island shirt or whatever it's like no don't stop it shut up that's fake news it yeah you're right i've said this before but my dumb ass thought it would be impossible to lie in politics i'm like now that everyone has the internet at their fingertips politics is going to get so honest because they'll be embarrassed to be caught in lies i called it doesn't matter because it's not a lie unless someone shines a light on it

so you can lie all day yeah it's it's only a problem that people don't want to be lied to that to me is the core of it if you say oh wait a second that guy's a liar i don't like him anymore then liars won't do well but that's not what people said they said i like the way he lies i mean fox cnn msnbc and they're all liars they're fucking propagandists at this point they all have an agenda they they know what they want and they make it clear like they a lot of times they just mark and march and fucking lockstep it's i i it's a net negative that's why we need the Trump truth network. He's got to put truth in there too because you always know you're getting facts.

Real news for real Americans. You're doing very well, Kyle. This is solid branding here. Real facts. Yeah. Real facts dot biz. I'd have a whole segment called just the facts ma'am republicans still get that republicans still get that reference

i don't know that one you're too young i am too that shit's from the 60s neither of us republic leslie neil it's TV show. You know, the detective would always say just the facts, ma'am. I think it's from maybe Dragnet. Yeah. I'm too young for that, too, so it must be super old. It's super, super old. Real facts news. Real Trump facts news

truth. Do you think that he'll do a TV show? One of these search tags? If you want to find the truth, it's not going to be easy it's a very long url i've actually replaced some of the l's people were talking about what he does next right and some are like hey is he going to run his own news network but they say no probably not one that's very hard to do like you're running a whole business you're firing up it's a media company etc trump would be better as an employee uh he should what do you think have a weekly show less often when he wants to like it trump should just be able to drop on one america news

get well paid spout his stuff and then move on he needs a studio audience at the very least though yes you know what if he just revived whose line is it anyway then that would be he would get drew carey's job i would you know what yeah welcome to donald trump's whose line is it anyway where facts don't matter and no one's keep score no it's where points don't matter that's the line I changed it for Trump alright

so you Colin you are a coyote trying to smuggle Ryan into the United States when Brady you're the guard at the border go sing a song about him trying to stop at the gate. This is this would be a good show.

Except I think all those guys are like 70 now. So have you guys done any of your holiday shopping yet? Any any Christmas gifts that you've already purchased or picked out even actually spent a lot of time thinking about what I want. 47, you have a list? I've done some. I'm on YouTube researching products. At first, I thought that I wanted...

So I have like a combi weed whacker system. You can change the head on it. It can be a weed wh a, a combi weed whacker system, right? You can change the head on it. It can be a weed whacker, a hedge trimmer, an extended hedge trimmer, a chainsaw on a pole. I've got like five attachments for it, but it's not battery powered and I don't use it all the time.

So sometimes it takes like a hundred poles to get the gosh darn thing going. Might be somewhat user error. Maybe I'm choking it or not choking it or who knows but um they have battery powered ones so i thought i wanted that and then i thought wait a minute i think that's work and i should get a one wheel which is like a skateboard with one wheel in the middle and uh that's fun so that's where my head is so far we'll see where this lands you guys i haven't thought what i wanted at all have you been thinking about other people i haven't thought what i wanted at all have you been thinking about other people i haven't been thinking about it at all honestly i haven't bought anything and i haven't thought

about what i want what do i want jackie it's like i'll buy it if i want it yeah oh yeah and i don't know if i don't think you're in the same spot as me where it's like even your presents you buy those too yeah sometimes I just give a URL for it and then I pay for it and then I open it so I do yeah

it puts a whole new twist on Christmas when like you're right yeah she does that I guess not paying for it It puts a whole new twist on Christmas. At least she doesn't make you wrap it. Right? Yeah. She does that, I guess. That's woman's work. Not paying for it. Or paying for the wrapping paper. Jesus. I don't know. I don't really have...

No. No gifts going out or coming in, I don't think. None? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, I usually get my dad something utilitarian like i get him like i got him a bunch of really nice shirts one year and like uh or like socks like like i i talked about how like he wears size 13 but he would be been wearing size 12 socks his whole fucking life and i got him like some extra large socks and he was like holy shit they

fit like it was just such a new thing. I thought the heel went in the middle of my foot all this time. Yeah. It says it on the socks. But they don't always stock the super big ones. You just look in the back.

My mother had been buying him socks for years and she had never bothered to get the right size of socks i think that is what happened very disappointing they say they go all the way up to 12 but it's not even close uh it's not great i do prefer the like larger size of socks and i wear 12 yeah yep so i'll get him something like that some shirts or a jacket or some socks or some boots or something. But I might get a girl a thing or two.

I'll talk to her and see what she wants. An extra big load for Thanksgiving. She's getting that anyway. That's not optional either. There's no box you can check.

You will be thankful. You will say thank you. Get out that turkey injector I showed you on PKN. Oh, God. Yeah. Inject the cum lube. Well, I don't inject the cum lube. I inject the numbing lube.

That's what you inject. Yeah, to prep the butthole. To prep the butthole, yes. But if you're injecting a full of numbing fluid, how are you getting off on your pain-o-fetish? I don't have a pain-o-fetish. No. Jesus Christ. I don't know.

You dip your toes in a lot of different things on Reddit. I'm just here to help aggregate things for the community. Not everything's going to be your favorite thing. It's a service he provides. It is. Free of charge, I might add. It's true. Top three

guests on the show dead or alive. Who's that? I guess you can get Abe Lincoln on the show dead or alive. Hmm. I guess you can get Abe Lincoln on the show if you want. Oh, I thought it was what guests we want to kill. Oh, no. All right. Who would be your top three guests dead or alive for the show? I.e. someone that would be nearly impossible to get right now.

Jesus is one. I want to set the score on that. I like it yeah it would be like really good if you have jesus on you're like holy shit this guy was the real deal and then we all get to spend eternity but i want to have bill burr and elon musk at the same time with the caveat that burr has to fucking roast him non-stop for being like whatever the verbal version of illiterate is is that what elon musk is he's yeah have you ever heard elon musk speak he is really i don't watch his i watched a little bit of a rocket launch but i didn't watch him talk about it he's retarded talking it is awful

he is impossible to his accent it's the pauses and the inability to finish his thoughts he's been on the jre a couple of times and like i appreciate someone who's economic with their words you know don't use a thousand words when 50 will do but he uses four words when 50 is necessary and you don't know what the rest of that thought is. He doesn't explain or articulate anything. He is a terrible, terrible speaker who's done amazing things. I don't want to knock everything about him. Just as a speaker,

it's crazy to me that anyone wants to hear it. Maybe it's like the eccentric genius kind of speaking. A lot of really smart people suck ass at relaying all that info in there you know especially the math kind the kind he is the math kind of smart i don't know i think i watched a clip actually of him talking on joe rogan but nothing jumped out at me about his speaking have you you noticed that, Kyle? Do you think he speaks? I feel like he doesn't. He's not always intuitive enough to understand the things people are curious about.

So sometimes he stops short of really fleshing out his point because he just assumes that you know what he means. And that can be a little frustrating sometimes. Talk about a self-driving car. They'll say, oh, self-driving car they'll say oh self-driving's easy stops there oh self-driving's easy that's all so that's it you don't have anything to add to that you can't tell me why self-driving is so easy yet no one

including fucking you have really gotten it down well yet you're just gonna say self-driving's easy and drop that bomb and act like there's nothing more to it. Simple as that. Self-driving is an easy problem, right? Driving is actually kind of hard. There are a lot of things where you're trying to sort of guess what the other people are doing. If that guy veers a little bit into the lane, is that a pre-lane switch or is that guy just a little wobbly in his driving style as a human you're making these evaluations all the time does he have an incentive to switch is there a car in front of the car in front of him or all that stuff but no elon musk just says self-driving is easy as if there's nothing else to consider it's just i mean it must be he is a genius well then he should do

better self-driving his cars can't stop at a fucking red light yet self-driving is easy yeah i don't know yeah elon i think they have some betas where they stop at red light but it's not rolled out to all of them i think i could be out of date cars can't stop at red light true is the red light not bright enough would a Would an orange light or perhaps a purple light be more conducive to self-driving cars? Our new cars are strobe activated. Let me see. Horrible to drive. I know that it was hitting people at one or someone got hit because it didn't notice them it someone was walking in the crosswalk

yeah they stop at red lights now april 27th 2020 that's what i googled yeah i wonder they were rolling it out the new features being released and is for limited people in early access beta so that was april maybe something's changed in the last seven months but it was an early access beta for certain drivers this year. For red lights. Red lights are something people find kind of intuitive. Look. Well, I mean, it's got to see the light, you know.

So do I. Well, you're a human being. So don't say it's easy. I can figure it out. He said self-driving is easy, not self-stopping. Touche. All right. You got me.

You can get a hood dwarf and he'll drive for you in the hood area. You won't even see him. It'll be like it's all normal-sized people in the car. He can't talk or anything. He's just down in the engine compartment with his own wheel looking through the grill. Yeah, exactly. He's in the submarine.

He's got a little periscope, and he's driving you. Oh, remember that old Larry Day before he was investing in that guy's car periscope idea? I don't know if i've seen that oh my god curvier enthusiasm there's an episode where this guy has this idea for a car periscope and like it's in the passenger side so the passenger is like periscope up and he can see over traffic to determine which lane to get into and uh and larry's thinking about investing so he drives the prototype and and and him and his buddy are in the car, and they're like, this is the best thing ever.

We know which lane to go to because we know what the problem is up ahead. And it just seems like such a terrible idea, but they're loving it. And long story short, it turned out that the reason Larry invested, he thought it was a dumb idea at first himself, larry invested he thought it was a dumb idea at first himself but when he saw the inventor's wife how ugly she was he decided that this guy has character like like he's married an ugly woman below his station for he's married for love like this guy has character he's not all about material things he wouldn't be trying to rip me off This guy has character and he actually lets that slip later on. And the guy cuts Larry off, tears up is like $500,000 check and then goes on and it's huge.

And Larry's like watching it on like Oprah or something like it's all over the news. Like his, this product is blowing up and it would have made him even more of a millionaire than he already is. I think Larry David's almost a billionaire. Yeah, we've looked at that.

I think he is, but that's, that's a really funny episode. That like a nathan for you there's a bunch of there's one where him and rosie o'donnell are dating the same woman and uh yeah and uh and um larry is taking viagra that he's getting from his like black friend so that he can really lay it to this woman because he knows he's competing with rosie o'donnell and uh and rosie o'donnell is like she's like talking to larry and she's like so she uh she canceled on me last night larry's like oh yeah she was with me last night she's like uh i heard you went two rounds with her. She said it was the best sex she'd ever had. Larry's like, oh, I know what I'm doing in the bedroom.

And she's like, you juicing, Larry? Are you juicing? It's great. There's this whole thing going throughout the episode there's like comparison between the sex and baseball where like there's a commissioner and like finally he gets found out for juicing and gets

suspended it's a whole thing I love that show it's great I need to watch more I'm watching rewatching more Seinfeld right now as my little background workout show but I should switch over the curve yeah I'm on South Park right now for three or four seasons of it yeah i've been uh re-watching the entire south park catalog going backwards that's interesting why yeah uh because i feel like they get better as you go back uh for the most part i skipped like the most recent three

seasons that have like the don Donald Trump stuff and the member berries I didn't really like any of that PC principal I skipped all that so I think I started at like season 19 or 20 and then I'm all the way back to season 8 right now and it's fucking hilarious it's fucking great

yeah I want to I want to do the Simpsons again like 2 through 9 2 through 10 yeah I've been thinking I want to do the Simpsons again, like two through nine, two through 10. Yeah. I've been thinking about rewatching the Simpsons too. Uh, I watched a clip the other day that had me laughing pretty hard.

I can't remember what it was. Um, Oh, it was where Homer's got that coworker, Frank Grimes or something like that. It is his name, Frank Grimes. And like Frank Grimes, like, like they're really rubbing each other the wrong way like frank grimes just head to the

grinds nose to the grindstone working hard and just like still kind of falling behind the pace and homer is just like happy-go-lucky doesn't give a fuck and just lucks into everything and and they're not meshing well at work and and homer wants to be friends with this guy so he invites frank grimes to his home for dinner and frank frank walks in he's like what is this about simpson i i gotta get some sleep gotta be at the at the plant early in the morning what this place is a mansion what how do you afford this and i was like i don't know i just uh you know i just keep saying yes and it keeps working out and he's like is that is that you with president gerald ford clinton and bush yeah

yeah that's when i met the presidents yeah there's different different different situations for each one not all as a group or anything um and here's a picture of me in space though he's like you've been to space you've never been to space before and Frank goes and is that lobster I smell for dinner like he's just blown away by the extravagance of Homer's life and just really like tears him down

in front of his whole family and storms out he's just depressed as shit I think Grimes reappears later. No, he dies in that episode, I think. I'm pretty sure Homer does this thing where he's like I want to say Mr. Burns comes down and gives Homer a pat on the back

for some stupid thing Homer had gotten right. Homer didn't even mean to get it right. And he's like, ah, he more workers like you Simpson. And Frank Grimes is just like blown away. He's like, you know what?

I'm going to be like Homer Simpson. Oh, what is this toxic waste? Who cares? I'm Homer Simpson. He's like stomping around in it. What is this over here? I'll expose electric wiring.

Well, who cares? I'm Homer. And he like electrocutes himself to death I'm pretty sure that's how that episode ends oh man yeah those those old sims that's a pretty fucking old one that's real old those hold up those

are really good and I recently watched the one with the left orium when when Ned Flanders quits his job and becomes he opens the left handed store and that's a good one too because like Flanders quits his job and becomes, he opens the left-handed store and that's a good one too. Because like, Flanders starts failing immediately because no one wants left-handed

shit. Yeah. And Homer keeps running into all these left-handed people in his life, but he just like, doesn't say a word because he wants Ned to fail. And like, three quarters of the way through the episode, he's, Ned is selling his furniture and is like, like,

like his, his grill and stuff. And Homer's like bargaining the price of all of Ned's possessions down to like, Ned's like selling his grill. And, and, and Homer's like $5.

And he's like, I paid 350 for that just last spring. Homer, come on. He's like, take, take it or leave it. Like waving the $5 in his face.

And it's just like super mean. By the end, he's got all of Ned's furniture like in his backyard. So it's getting rained on. Like he's not even taking care of it. Homer's a real piece of shit in those early seasons. Yeah. Like, I think it was you who told me to check out this Simpsons video on YouTube where this guy does like a really deep dive. And I think he does multiple shows, too, where he'll be like. When the Simpsons died.

Yeah, yeah. You told me to watch that. And I did. And it's like really good analysis. It's like really good analysis. He's like, yeah, and right here, this writer change, like season 12, turned Homer more into a functional retard adult instead of the happy-go-lucky but well-meaning man that he was up until this point. You know, before he was like thoughtlessly provocative, like by ignorance. And now he's like more over the top, like literally grinding. He went from being ignorant to being stupid

and there's a big difference because ignorance can be really hilarious and stupidity is is a flat note that that that can't really spike or or drop and that's what the show did it just and we're right here forever we're in this like lukewarm good shit yeah like like by the end like homer can't read anymore like okay he's illiterate the nuclear engineer is now illiterate like like you can't sell me that homer is now illiterate like yeah he does he gets dumber and dumber and dumber until he's like drinking paint sure openly so anyway i'm gonna watch some of that show i don't even know what it streams on anymore. Hulu may have it.

I'll have to check. If they do, it might be one of those retarded things where it's like, oh, stream the most recent seasons of The Simpsons. It's like, I would rather watch nothing than the most recent five seasons of The Simpsons. Let me see. I haven't seen The Simpsons in so long. Is it that bad?

Hulu. Disney Plus has it, and Hulu has it. The new ones, they just need to call it quits. I guess there's no reason to if they're just printing money at this point, right? What other good popular...

I don't even know if it's popular anymore. It must be if Fox is still running it. Or maybe it's not that expensive to make. Yeah, I don't know. I know that the voice actors on those shows make crazy, like Dan Castellaneta, the guy who does Homer and a couple

other people. It's a ludicrous, probably millions of dollars an episode or something. Really? I mean, it's been going for, how much does he make? I think it's his name. Dan Castellaneta? I don't know. Per episode pay.

They're on season 32 right now. It says $300,000 an episode. It says the entire cast is $300,000 an episode. Really? I know they complain, but I don't know if their complaints are justified. Um, for many of the show's golden years,

the cast earned 30 grand an episode. Dan. Damn. Wow. They were barely scraping by. Like 28 episodes a season or something ridiculous. Yeah, I think it's on Disney+. I think you can stream the whole shebang over there, all 32 seasons. So in 2008, they were making $400,000 an episode,

and they lowered it in 2011 to 300 grand an episode i saw that yeah not quite as popular eh right but also i mean i'm looking at the simp not the simpsons friends where every single cast member earned a million bucks an episode. And what were there, six of them? Yeah, but they only did, what, like six seasons or something? Ten seasons.

Ten. But who knows how many seasons were at that pay? Right. I don't know for sure. But I'm just comparing 300 grand to six million. Also episodes a year. True. Yeah. I don't know. Simpsons was

the second biggest show on television at one time. Second only 60 minutes. They were getting 7 million views an episode. Yeah. It seems... I don't know. But based on the cast pay, what are the other big expenses? If the cast is making 300 grand an episode, I really doubt the animators are making more.

Yeah. What else is there? Cast. cast is making 300 grand an episode i really doubt the animators are making more yeah like what else is there cast and they probably they could probably be a revolving door of animators at some point i would just have a bunch of you know plug and play stuff yeah i would think the animators are much easier to replace than the cast so must be not too expensive And that's probably why it keeps going. Because it doesn't cost whatever, $18 million an episode to create. Is there like intellectual property for their voices to prevent them from being like,

well, Dan, we love how you do Homer's voice, but we found a guy who will do it for $3,000 an episode who does Homer almost as well as you. So we're taking this guy. i think it's because like uh some of those guys do so many voices like one of them in particular does like a ton of characters i can't remember which one it might be dan dan does homer crusty barney oh and

many others that's not that helpful i'm like I have a list hang in there oh I love the way South Park does their guest voices because it's just what is it Trey Parker just doing his silly voice for whoever it doesn't matter

what celebrity it is but like I'm Dom Crows and I'm an idiot it's just him goes to the woody's gamer tag school of impressions this is my tom cruise voice it even says it in the beginning you know when whenever episode starts it's like all celebrity voices are imitated poorly but that's what makes it funny yeah yeah they save so much money that way too because like the creators of the show also voice the fucking characters and they're like well i can't do 35 accents who fucking cares every woman's gonna sound identical like there's only like three

three or four different like voice actors for the women i think like uh kyle's mom you know the big jewish lady like she's got kind of a unique thing going on but everyone else just sounds like stan's mom yeah they really do and even when it's like how do i do a mel gibson impression it's like oh my nipples they hurt they hurt when i twist them it's like sensitive yeah just uh Good to go. Yeah, and they crank that show out in seven days. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, it really is.

I feel like that was part of them getting shittier and a little lazier with it in the most recent seasons is part of, I think, them doing the full story arc was being like, all right, well, now we can kind of prep a bit more for the season so it's not as much work all at once you know like because we know the basic story arc of what's going to happen so it's not like all right last week they went to space and the show got canceled uh uh how about uh they go to a fair and they get a bunch of ninja weapons oh okay okay let's do that yeah like that fun with weapons that's one of my favorite all-time that's my

second favorite episode ever by the way behind scott tenorman must die behind scott tenorman must die yeah which one scott tenorman must die that's when cartman oh has a boy's parents murdered then chops him up and feeds them to that boy uh in a chili while radio head watches i was on the wrong show i was still on The Simpsons. What's your favorite Simpsons? I don't know the episode titles. Me neither. I like the one where it's

I think it's Pat Croce lookalike and he has a red beard and he's like ruler of the world and Homer works for him. Oh yeah! I'm glad you like it too. Yeah, that's a good one. What's that character's name, though? Fuck. It's like a, maybe it starts with a Z.

It's really good. It's really good. Like, he shows up at Homer's house that he's providing for him, and he's like, I know what you're thinking. Look at this guy. He's wearing loafers, and he's the boss. Hey, guess what? Got you a pair too.

You don't like him? Huh? Forget it. Throw him away. I don't like him either. Hank Scorpio. Hank Scorpio. Yeah, he's so awesome.

Yeah, he's great. And if you, Homer, on the way out, if you could kill someone, it would help me out tremendously. Yeah, he's a problem solver. Like it turns out, Hank Scorpio is not not only a nuclear power plant owner or whatever, but he's also a Bond villain. There's a part where Homer's just at the water cooler, and James Bond is literally trying to run out of the plant. And Hank Scorpio is like, Homer, stop that guy!

And Homer tackles James Bond. And he's like, oh, you did good, Homer. You did good. We're going to have to see about getting you a bigger office as they walk away and four henchmen just murder james bond in the background it's great the one called the deep space homer where he goes to space because he like trains and then he gets up there he opens the bag of potato chips and it all goes everywhere i was like i just looked up like good simpsons episodes and that was one of the ones i i remember liking i went to the quotes page and this this is like a memory like a simpsons line i remember liking he's like you're right marge just like the time i could have met mr t

at the mall the entire day i kept saying i'll I kept saying, I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later. And then when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he'll ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again. He knows the train for space. I guess.

The time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. I think some of the Some of the best episodes are the Halloween specials I can't think of Some of those are so Fucking good You know you get like three episodes in one There's one where

There's a zombie outbreak And Homer's trying to get the family in the car And Flanders comes up And he's like hey Hey there, neighborino. How about letting me nibble on your little ear there? And Homer just goes, bang, and blows his head off with a shotgun. And I don't remember if it was Marge or Lisa,

but they go, Dad, you killed zombie Flanders. And he goes, zombie? There's a lot of good gems back in the old Simpsons I'm definitely going to watch some of those babysitting the Flanders kids that was good yeah

might have been Lisa instead it was one of the other was babysitting and was like shocked by how like Flanders they are Rob and Todd they're like will you pray with us so the demons don't come? Yeah. It was really funny. It used to be

just one of the it was my favorite show as a kid. I loved it. I loved it as a kid so much. I was like the I was going to say it was the perfect age but like fuck it's been on 32 fucking years. Yeah, you were a little too young. Yeah, probably so.

Yeah. Closer to Woody being the perfect age than you. You were like 16 when they started, right? What, Simpsons? Simpsons, yeah. In 1988? Probably something like that, yeah. 88,

I would have been 15. But even before then, I would have been 15. Even before then, I think I was little when they were in the movie theaters. Before the movie started, the Simpsons used to play every now and then. It was like, wow, that's a cartoon before this movie?

It would just be some god-awful Simpsons back when it super sucked. I didn't like it when homer hated spart like i didn't you know he used to choke him and homer was clearly like a bad guy problem and bart was the center of the show back when homans became homer became a little more loving and the center of the show it got better i like the first first season like those shorts like homer's voice is nothing like it is in later seasons it's just him like yeah gravelly like it sounds like he's talking to like a purse mouth he's like come here boy you're out of control he's like strangling him

uh here's a little thing that just happened it's like seven hours old chapelle show is no longer on netflix and dave chapelle is happy about it the comedian on tuesday opened up in a video posted to instagram about the streaming services move which he says came at his request in his video chapelle acknowledges that the contract he signed with viacom cbs allows for his show to be to stream without additional payments to him. The creator, star, and executive producer, he takes issue with the approach. They, that's ViacomCBS, didn't pay me because I signed the contract, Chappelle said. But is that right?

I found out that these people were streaming my work and they never had to ask me or they never had to tell me. Perfectly legal because i signed the contract but is that right i don't think so either that's why i like working with netflix so my question is how much did he get paid to sign the contract right if i signed away the rights to all my modern warfare 2 videos and then i was like these motherfuckers streamed it and i'm not getting more money wait what do you give you 10 million up front yeah but you're not paying me on going like that what was the rest of the contract what is it

that's what i want to know um so he signed it and he doesn't like it well he signed it 15 years ago oh i didn't know that maybe he didn't make very much food i don't know it's when he made the chapelle so i don't think he got paid very much for like the first couple seasons but like there was some huge there were only a couple seasons of that show yeah there's only like two i don't know why i thought it was his specials they pulled down that's what i was thinking when you said it too is like he removed his most recent ones so okay well then that makes sense if he wants to revisit chapelle's decision to quit the show meant walking away from 50 million dollar contract with Comedy Central

and forming a rift with longtime collaborator Neil Brennan. So he walked away from $50 million. That's why he didn't make another season. I wonder if that was a mistake. He could have had $50 million. Clearly, he was having mental health issues, but he decided not to

sell his mental health okay cool but how many more years would he have had to work for that 50 million i'll sell you a year of mental health for 50 million for 50 million you could drive me just about baddie for the rest of 2021 and i'll you can torture me for a week for 50 million dollars oh i'll speak so quickly you don't know what i'm gonna do what kind of fat pocketed guy is gonna show up and torture me for 50 million 50 million there goes your anal virginity oh no yeah i immediately thought of that south park episode where uh they think butters is um um going crazy because he's talking to cartman who he who think who he thinks he thinks is dead so he's telling them that he can speak to ghosts and they put the doctor like he's on a bed getting examined and like this the robot arms pick butters up rotate him over onto his stomach and like this, the robot arms pick butters up, rotate him over onto his stomach.

And like this, like huge vibrating, like, like butt plug, like come starts like coming into the frame and like goes up butter's ass. And just like his whole body is shaking. So like, like,

like he's like, just shaking. And like after, so after that, like exam, like later on, they're like, he's in recovery bed, trembling with fear. And they're like,

alright, Butters, how do you feel now? Do you see any ghosts? No, sir! I don't see any ghosts at all, sir! I don't see any! No ghosts at all, sir! I'm so sorry I saw the ghosts! So fucked up. Butters might be my favorite character in the show butters live a hard life butters lives the hardest life he gets sold he's like well well

bob paris hilton said she wants to buy me for 50 billion dollars and then his parents go in they're like we're not gonna do it are we we're not gonna do it and then they start being like i don't know it's a lot of money, Scott. And then they decide, but as we decide to sell you to Paris Hilton, if you can come up with the money by finding the coal mine first, you can stay. And he's like, oh, well, fuck, fellas. I got to go find a coal mine.

He's digging in this front yard for oil or coal so he can pay the $500 million. When they throw that ninja star into his goddamn eye and then their solution is to dress him up as a dog and drop him off at the pound because they don't want to take him to a hospital. That's fucking hilarious. For sure for this it'll pop him a people doctor.

He wouldn't even know what to do. He wouldn't even know what to do. He's clearly a boy with hair tape bleeding out on the floor. Woof! A little woofing there. That's the most i love that i think everybody loves that episode because it's so realistic for young boys where like when someone gets hurt badly when you're playing like that the first thing is like shut the fuck up don't you tell anyone how this happened you are going to ruin our play we're not going to be able to play Lord of the Rings with sticks in the woods anymore.

If you tell them how you actually, you know, scratch your cornea. I feel like you in particular. Right. Flashbacks. Tell us this story out of your own brothers. As if it was a universal experience. You know, you slit your brother's jugular and you're like, you be quiet, kid. I don't want mom finding out how

you got your jugular slit and i'm just like i can't relate to this at all well i remember one in particular is and it was more with my i did accidentally hurt my younger brother a few times but it was never on purpose but um we would do this thing where like you you know you're in the middle of a backyard and you have someone grab onto your hands like that that roman like handshake thing and you do that and then you start swinging and you're swinging people around and you're kind of on your heels you know what i mean and so like you're swinging them around and everything and i never got to get swung because i was heavier than everybody else and so i was the swing me the swinger and i remember like for the longest time it was like people being like

don't let go don't let go and it was like what's gonna happen it's grass but you know you slow it down and then it's fine one time i just full bore just let go of the kid and he couldn't hold on it was my good friend it's my friend sorry about this alex he used to come over and hang out all the time after school and he like before the head injury but like as a you know 12 year old or whatever was the time I was probably even younger than that I like let go of him and I was thinking he'd be like he would like gently like like land on the grass or something but like no he like landed in the way where like his foot got caught he like kind of he got a little hurt but it was more of like a little kid crying hurt where like by the time he got up there and got his mom's attention,

he was like, I got hurt. How many brothers did you have? Two. No, no, at peak. How many brothers did you have at peak? I think I was the eldest of five. One of them I consumed in the womb. He started early.

Wow, you've got twins next time you see the little foot out of my mouth oh you're gonna have a very large son i'm glad that worked out so well like a crocodile yeah oh good times yeah that was great being a little kid like looking forward to getting home so you could go play pretend i want to hear taylor's answer to this when should someone know i'm sorry when should someone in college know their career i'm going into my sophomore year and i always feel like shit when i respond with i don't know i'm going for my bachelor's in music. Hmm. Something as specific as music seems like he'd kind of be on a path. I don't know. I mean, it really depends for if you do something general like business or sales or something, you kind of that first job out of college, unless you like know somebody somewhere, you're

going to have to take what you can fucking get and just build experience like that first job, like the rental car place I did right out of college it fucking sucked i made no money i hated every minute of it but one it's made me infinitely more thankful for all the jobs i've done since then and two it's like that does it may seem like bullshit but like just showing a potential employer after that like oh wow you can put up with a bunch of bullshit a bunch of. You're willing to put in the hours like you'll work hard. That's all it takes in a lot of times. So almost unless you're joining a firm or have some connection or something like an uncle to work somewhere, like go into it knowing like that first job in sales. I'm just picking that like that's going to kind of suck. But that's that is my resume builder just as much

as college was, because once you have that first job under your belt for a few years none no interviewers at least in where i work like marketing advertising sales none of them are going to give two fucks about your college course it doesn't matter now it's about what did you do your last job what did you work on what did you do there so that job proves that you will go to work every day what do you think of a bachelor's in music i don't know what that's even for. Like what? I don't know. That would be a little troubling if it was like, if you hemmed yourself into something where now there aren't as many

opportunities, but who knows, maybe as a minor in something else, if in sales is something you can go into with any degree or with no degree, like that's all about personality and well, and hard work, keeping up your numbers, working hard

on hours that other people wouldn't have to if they were just doing a nine to five so my father would not approve of that major i don't know if he's right right like my father was like oh there's a bunch of majors you could have in college there's nursing engineering accounting business not our business is too general that you can't get a job with that accounting um he wouldn't like economics uh he wanted real he wanted college to be job training okay and then i had that mindset for really i'm sorry say that again with them in that way like i used to be more kind of do you know whatever you're passionate about but it's like yeah do something that's going to get you a job so that then you maybe have enough money and time to follow your true passions.

I've evolved in the other direction, right? So I started off thinking the only jobs on earth were accounting and engineering and medical. And you know, you can think of the, like the skills, there's a bunch of trades,

right? Like HVAC, electrician, plumber, et cetera. Those are life's jobs. And I was 30 something when I realized life has all kinds of weird jobs HVAC, electrician, plumber, etc. Those are life's jobs. And I was 30-something when I realized

life has all kinds of weird jobs out there. YouTuber is a job that someone's going to get. So is Twitch, and so is this. Music, there are people out there making a living in music. He could be this guy. You could be. So give that a go.

If that's your dream and you want to pursue it you know go for it try it when you get out of college you get to be you know late 20s and you're not making any headway nothing's working like you teach yeah you're gonna you're gonna teach or something you know actually don't even let yourself get to your late 20s you get to like 28 29 and if you're like struggling to your late 20s start taylor 20 start i always do it like you know one two or you know 21 22 23 early 456 mid 789 late but you said don't even get to your late 20s get to 28 or 9 get to i was i was i was saying don't do it to your late 20s if you've gotten to 28 or 29 and it's like this music dream isn't panning out and you're struggling with bills and it's causing you a lot

of anxiety probably because now you're 10 years later you got more more accountability like it's probably time to move on from that it's probably past time if that's your age but best of luck to you in the music industry whatever you plan to do with that but yeah if you're planning on if you just studied that like i know some people who are like oh i'm just going to go into business or something i'm just going to study what i want though and then go into sales or something like that so maybe that's what he's doing i don't know music is so specific it's hard to answer like i don't even know enough about it to know what job you'd look for i never had permission to get a bachelor's in music right like that would be that would just that was a stan hard no

you know like i don't know what the ramifications are of choosing a non-stan major i've never never played with that fire um so i hear it and i'm like oh i guess you can do that there's people who are going to get their dream jobs out of that. Like you said, I don't know what jobs do music majors get. Is that okay? And the fact that he doesn't know what he wants to do with his bachelor's in music implies to me he just picks something he really enjoys. Yeah. And that's common. A lot of people do that.

Really? Yeah. Tons of people just do the major. Not Stan's kids. Stan's kids don't do that shit. They go to job training. Electrician and accounting were our, like, when we were in high school, those were our answers. Yeah.

I mean, you get all sorts of stuff. I mean, like, kids now, I think it's really common for them to be like, I want to do YouTube. kids now i think it's really common for them to be like i want to do youtube like that's a genuine thing that tons of kids want to do because they're absorbing more youtube content than they are tv by a long shot at this point and so that's their new kind of emulating figure is oh this person with the youtube channel so it is funny thinking of growing up in a world where like unless you're a girl celebrities unless you're a girl then you want an only fans only fans account yeah can you get after it young ladies after it make some money um pay you what does money i don't know if we said that woman's name who's dropping the porn the only thing oh we did say okay um when does it come out do we know christmas day

are you serious that'd be yes christmas day you have to wait a month yeah but but you know just lots of titties and maybe some vagina before then we're working up to it there's been this week there's been two or three titty videos and some masturbation. And I think there was a cum shot on her ass. And so, yeah. But you didn't believe the cum shot. I never believed the cum shot. Now I don't either.

Kyle's ruined me. If you guys miss PKN, apparently there are cum. You can buy some fake cum over on Amazon. And I think these bitches are just buying it and dousing themselves with it for those pictures. They sell it as lube. You can use fake cum as lube. Do you think they have to do multiple attempts where they'll drip it on

and be like, that doesn't look like a natural spray? Totally. Probably. I mean, they can write it off their taxes. That's a trick of the trade. Yep. I write off all my lubricant. Yes, legally. Because you use it on your guns i write off all my lubricant you know what i'm gonna start doing that yeah that story has some holes in it taylor there's no guns no yeah starting a new competition oh did you just explain to the feds

that you used it on your guns and that'll solve your problems kyle would absolutely even work on the gun no i mean for a while i think i think it would gunk up i think the silicone based stuff would just gunk up i use grease on my guns i don't know i got on the internet well i think it's easier to apply it doesn't like run everywhere and they're like there are no special refineries that produce special gun oil it's just oil it's just lube and yeah a little dab of grease i always thought lubed it really well and it went exactly where i wanted it to. Yeah. I just sprayed oil in there. I never made a big deal of it.

A lot of things like that, it's like, oh, yeah, this is better than this, and this is better than that. But for the average consumer who's going to shoot 500 shots ever, does it matter? If you're going to shoot 10,000 shots with a gun, it does. But for most people, most of that shit doesn't matter. Yeah. As I think about it,

I, I think only one of my guns has more shots than that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you'll shoot a barrel out of an AR 15, I think around 10,000, you know,

it might say a lot of shots. Yeah. The, um, yeah, people are always asking me like, like, Hey, these three, I'm considering these three handgunguns the answer is which one feels good in your hand

like that's the answer like like everything else can be modified you can get a new trigger new sights you can a lot of times you can get a new caliber you can change the caliber on on weapons like if you feel good in your hands if the one that feels good if there's an indoor range where you can rent it that's really nice yeah yeah um i always there was a range where i grew up that like i think i've been to that most of the common yeah you think you have they had most of the common like pistol calibers or and like types so like yeah pick pick pick a price range and then even if you're just in the store you know they'll let you hold the gun new you know just it's really about what feels good in your hand more than anything else yeah of course you're right have you ever looked at a man and he's so good looking you thought i'm not gay but god damn he

could turn me ryan gosling is a handsome all right? I remember watching Drive for the first time and being like, oh, that's a good-looking guy, huh? I think Ryan Gosling might be the most attractive man I've ever seen. He's cute. I won't take that away from him. But the question was, did that make you want to let him fuck you? No. I'm the same.

I don't let him fuck you no i'm the same i don't let him for me um brad pitt now he's age now brad pitt used to be really hot though and uh not that he not i ever wanted him to fuck me or anything but i'd look at him and i'd just be like oh well that's that's the answer key and then in every way that someone is different than him, they got one wrong. Yeah. Brad Pitt from Thelma and Louise is like perfect human male, I guess. Good looking man.

He's really good. There's another one. Maybe it is Thelma and Louise where he's peaked. Of course, Fight Club is the one everyone calls out. But I think Derek, More Plates, More Dates, did a video on him. And he was better in something than he was in Fight Club. Is it Thelma and Louise, maybe? Troy, probably, is where his physique peaked.

He looked ridiculous in Troy. Probably it is Troy. Yeah, it's a pass for Troy. but he didn't look over masked to me right yeah yeah i think uh jay cutler is the like no one wants to fuck jay cutler is like a a meme you know is he alive jay cutler yeah he's gotta be alive i've heard that a million times no one wants to fuck jay cutler i'm gonna look look up Jay Cutler because I bet a lot of people don't. Gross looking. I don't get that.

I like the idea of being big and strong and fit and all those things. But at some point, you have a problem. Just the same way we all like a thin woman, there's a certain point where they've dipped into dip their toe into the bulimia pond where you're just like oh oh you've gone the other way now you've gone the other way now this is not good that's how i feel about jay keller and like most like modern professional bodybuilders they're just gross looking yeah yeah at some point you overdo it and um like i i wouldn't say that um did you have you seen the most recent picture on instagram of chris helmsworth thor you get his name yeah he's looking

big yeah uh you could argue he's getting into the too big uh i'm okay with how big he is is he juicing he is yeah he's big he's fucking big he's he's cultivating mass right now for for some marvel movies he's filming uh next year and uh um he's gonna be even bigger thor what's his name to play star lord um um chris pratt was like like posted on chris hemsworth's instagram story he's like he's like my trainer just wants wants you to really tone it down this is going this is a little bit much what you're doing right here i'm gonna have to stand next to you because like he's flipping at one of those tires but it's yeah there you go look at this taylor oh he is juice to the gills look at him carefully though look at the pec look at the delt look at the arm the striations yeah it's it's i got no problem with how big that is the striations are

there because he's like he's working right now really fucking heavy but like he's still got he's got like ab definition he's got adonis lines like is that what the dick roots called adonis lines yeah okay um here's my take i bet day to day he looks great i bet if i saw him in a t-shirt or something i'd be like oh my god that's the target in this picture when he has a pump on and maybe even sharpened in Photoshop or something like that to give him a little more. In this picture, he's gone past my goal. Although I'll tell you what, his calves are nothing special. Yeah.

Look at them. I would say this is a great goal. Well, he can fly. So. That's true. Not doing any calf golden. Well, he can fly, so... That's true, but he's not doing any calf raises, clearly. I can fly. Thor wear pants. He can fly.

You're a much more experienced flyer than this guy. Yeah, I would argue. I mean, I bet he can't even turn as far as I know. And he gets to work out somewhere pretty and nice. Too rich to even flip a standard tire. Right? What is that tire with the handles on it and such? That's a fancy tire.

This is the Rogue Tire Flips, $4,000. Same exact weight within a microgram of a real $200 tire. It's like, oh, dude, I got money burning a hole in my pocket. I think that might be a tire cover. No, I've never flipped tires before. I don't think so. You know what I have tried to do? Get water out of tires.

That's impossible. Yes, it's so much harder than you might be thinking. Yeah, you know, shop back will take care of that right away. That is probably the way to go. But there's no, like like sloshing it out. That just doesn't work. I had wings flipping those tires that time. He was actually flipping like a tractor tire.

So I don't know what it went. I mean, if you had to lift the whole tractor tire, I'm just guessing here. But 180 pounds maybe, but like flipping it over is like nothing like, like I could do it one handed. Like, yeah, that's not as heavy as I was going to guess.

Yeah. It's like, like flipping it wasn't hard. It was just the, but doing that motion repetitive, repeating that motion over and over, you know, you're,

you're squatting and, and, and lifting almost like a power clean type motion. And, and then you're stepping forward and yeah, almost like a power clean type motion. And then you're stepping forward. It was a good exercise. Yeah. I would imagine the bottom squat pull-up part is the only really annoying part. Yeah.

And then you get your Jeremy drags in. And you've got a full body workout when you do that. Your Jeremy drags. Your Jeremy pulls. Your tire drags your jeremy pulls your tire drags you pull the tire with jeremy sitting on it if you're truly a titan of strength he could not he that for that we did truck pushes that's when he was just pushing my truck through a field that was in in neutral is that really hard no in neutral it's not hard. No, it was really easy. If you kept it in park, it would have been impossible.

Yeah. As a teenager, I had to push cars now and then because we all drove unreliable cars. Cool. As a grown-up, I found myself needing to push a car slightly uphill. It wasn't like, don't think a really steep hill. It was just a mild, like, oh, I guess this is uphill. And I found it really difficult. I don't think a really steep hill it was just a mild like oh i guess this is uphill and i found it really difficult i don't know why did you say it's not that bad i've never

pushed a truck uphill i mean adding any kind of incline's got to make that yeah i haven't pushed anything uphill he was pushing on like a flat grassy field i'll have to try it i don't know i just had it was so hard for me that I'm like, Wiggs could even do that? Try it in your yard, in the area you don't mind ruining. It's the whole thing. The ugly quadrant. It's fine.

Anyway, Chris Helmsworth, like I said, I bet he looks great in clothes all pumped he looks a little big to me i think he looks great i think it looks great and i look forward to see him seeing him definitely get even bigger like he's going to be bigger than this by the time uh that that you know he films that movie what's interesting is now chris helmsworth's uh physique is um but kind of known what he can be but a lot of these marvel guys when they pick them they don't look good

when chris pratt got the role in guardians of the galaxy why did they think that he could be a superhero they were right but why did they think that when that indian comedian whose name i'll never get they picked him can you guys help me with that who'd they pick more plates i don't do indian marvel superhero you don't get him wow who else is yeah what the freak is his name uh is it denise dole is that the guy nope fuck that's an actual character's name i want to show kyle would you give me a hand i need his help i need yes camille nangiani k-u-m-a-n-j-i-n can you spell it slower i'm guessing k-u-m-a-i-l i got it thank you the type of head did it uh so this guy turned out to be a superhero now i don't know if they filmed it yet

because covid made everything complicated yeah but good god he he made a transformation his face is different he did h one be visa man yeah he definitely went on the sauce for this oh agreed agreed and i guess one of the telltales that derrick uses is has he ever been hot before right if some olympic swimmer let themselves go and then came back he would be like i don't know he's got the genetic potential to make this happen this guy you go through all his acting footage for his entire life and he's never had the hint of an ab and now he's a superhero he's an eternal so that just you don't just do that and in you know and in your late 30s or something for the first time they say yeah no this is a lot of sauce and a lot of work yes it's a lot of work um but that was back to where i was oh let me just

show before picture one more time for for people watching he looked like a small guy, though. Oh, yeah, he might be. I wouldn't know that. But how does Marvel know the potential of people? How did they look at Chris Pratt and see what was inside? How did they look at Kumail and know what he could be? Even Chris Helmsworth, I don't think, was much of a Thor before that role. I might be wrong on that one. It's Hemsworth, just saying.

Thank you, Hemsworth. All right. That's been irritating you the whole time. I've been noticing. I try to be nice. I don't want to be correcting people. People don't like being corrected. What do you mean by being corrected?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I always need a little assistance. I know what's happening. So anyway, yeah. So Chris Hemsworth, how did they know where he could go? Did I get it wrong again? You got it. They're right that time. Hemsworth.

There's no L. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I would imagine. I think maybe they learned their lesson perhaps with, uh, with Wolverine, you know, because the first, uh,

Hugh Jackman, Wolverine movie, whatever it was, I can't even remember. It may have just been X-Men. Um, they only gave him like six weeks to get in shape. And like,

he showed up like looking like a regular guy, like, like, I don't know, like, like not even close to the strongest guy in your gym. Like he looked like he'd been working out for six weeks. And,

uh, and I think they learned their lesson and maybe they like have these guys. They're like, all right, we're going to need you to be in shape next year. Like you've got, you've got nine months to get in shape. And with nine months of like steroids and training of steroids and training,

like you can get ridiculous shape. You can't like, um, steroids and training of steroids and training like you can get ridiculous shape you can like um shit who's a heavy actor who's the guy in money ball who played the economist jonah hill jonah hill right now i think jonah hill did lose some weight but if you needed him to be a marvel superhero and you gave him nine months and any injectable he wants why not pick rosanne barr all right some people are are a few steps behind like like but like like chris pratt for example like he was just chubby like like he he was about 25 pounds overweight so like that's no big deal. I think more than 25. Maybe 35 pounds. He was a big boy.

But after nine months, all he's got to do is build all that muscle and cut all that fat off. And he's Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. Plus, they get a pump right before they start filming. The lighting's really flattering. Yeah. And you're getting the best angle of chris pratt as possible now that's him looking real ripped there honestly like like they're on the right he's like the right okay he's like fucking 13 body fat 12 body fat on the right there you think on the left yeah and on the left he's like in the does he look that ripped to you on the on our right i mean i can see his i can see all

his abs defined abs but i think that happens in the higher teens 17 18 um i don't but he looks really good well he does look really good i just i think he's 14 or 15 there for sure okay would be my would be my i would have guessed 17 18 but i have an amateur opinion so who knows uh but yeah anyway i i was i pointed that as the before and after like it where did they how did they know that guy on the right was in the guy on the left that that surprises me i think that maybe if he hadn't become the guy on the right he was going to lose a lot of money i well is that it because he wasn't that guy on the right in the last end game was it

the first end game the first avengers i'm trying to say the first half of end game i don't know what it's called yeah yeah yeah uh i don't know uh i look forward i like seeing them do those body transformations. I look forward to seeing the next Marvel movie and seeing what... I would love it if Chris Pratt was just kind of trolling a little bit when he posted that on Hemsworth Instagram. In reality, he's like... Even bigger.

Look how tiny this bitch is. You got me on the good stuff, coach. Look at him, flipping a tire. I'm flipping a tire in each hand i left it on the tractor when i did my flips oh you took the tire off the tractor cute yeah i i would be cool if chris pratt looked that great he must know i don't know i they made fun of him in avengers what was the first one called the first half yeah they told him he was like five pounds away from being fat did they

yeah like the raccoon like it was when the raccoon and it may be the second avengers even it's like when the raccoon and thor uh thor's on the ship with like the guardians of the galaxy and there's this line where like they're like he's a man they're looking at thor and he's like i'm a man too he's like no no you're you're a boy that's a man yeah they're like look how big he is he's like hey i'm in pretty good shape too they're like you're like a sandwich away from being fat batista's character what's his name i can't remember it yeah he's like oh no you and you your chin it's fat now and i'm just like this has to cut deep because his chin is fat now like that's rough he's like that is a man so anyway yeah i don't know i i look forward to this stuff i like it i like the body transformations i usually enjoy the marvel movies we'll see what comes out

i've watched a marvel tv show black lightning have you guys seen this nope don't it is really yeah no it's like i'm getting i'm like a couple episodes in watching more like this will start to turn around right this is stupid it is stupid it is a retired superhero who doesn't move athletically i'm really sensitive to that he um his superpowers seem lame he keeps getting shot which is a big problem because he's not bulletproof yikes and uh you know just like this is awful his daughter apparently has some superpowers she broke the sink by accident a big porcelain strong sink and um she's not helping very much and she still acts helpless all the time just like this whole show is i i kind of want to watch more just to see how much it sucks are you sure this is a marvel show i've never heard of it yes i am sure yeah okay so uh now you have me show yes yeah i'm getting hungry i'm hungry and sleepy hunger's a

constant actually is it hungry it's dc i think i maybe i'm wrong about that okay anyway uh pka 517