Painkiller Already - PKA 521 w Drift0r - Dirty vs Woody Fight, Lock n' Load Results, Self Dermatology

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

Pinkularity, episode 521 Our guest Drifter, Taylor This episode of BKA is brought to you by Express VPN and Goat.com We'll talk about them a little later But Drifter, it's been a minute Since you've come on Two, three years, something like that

Yeah, I was in an apartment Last time I talked to you I have dogs now I'm going to spend four hours telling you what's changed Let's catch up with Taylor let's catch up with me right now my dude so uh so you're you're still killing it on twitch doing youtube a ton are you i popped over to your channel it seems like you're still overwhelmingly cod guy uh yeah i've kind of bounced around a little bit over the couple of years but nothing has really stuck quite as permanently as cod apex was going hot for

a minute then it died you know pub g overwatch fortnite for a while nothing really quite clicked so still doing a lot of cod i have shamelessly bounced streaming platforms more times than i can count from youtube gaming to twitch to uh mixer and then mixer went kapooey and now back to twitch and uh i basically i'm like starting over every two years because somebody is like, hey, Drifter, here's a little bit of money to come to my platform. And I'm like, take me over from scratch. So a good problem to have. So what makes you change games? You change the games based on what your audience wants to see or what you want to play?

A mix of both. There's I mean, as I'm as content creators, you know, there's a financial component that you need to provide for your family and stuff. So you need to make content around what will sell, get views. But then there's some things I do just because I absolutely love it. For example, Cyberpunk is coming out. I'm sure everybody's hyped or overhyped for that. And a role-playing RPG probably isn't going to go well on a shooting channel. But it's a genre that I love.

So I'm just going to play it and just see how it goes you got to do those passion projects like those ones you know that won't really get great views but are just fun to make i have been trying to get into the hype around cyberpunk and i can see it i can see that people are excited i understand at a high level that who are they project red they've done other good things i don't even know what that what red dead the witcher oh the witcher okay yes so people are have faith in the studio but every time i look at it i just have a i don't know i'm not that into rpgs i guess i don't get why people are excited why cyberpunk why is this so cool keanu is a flat lifeless actor really i was gonna say one of the things is that what he hates keanu reeves i do not hate keanu reeves oh yeah just acting or the person because they're quite

different things okay so i believe the person to be nice and kind-hearted i want nothing but good things for him i even enjoy a lot of his movies like I like the Gun Fu in John Wick. That's pretty cool. I liked him years and years ago, all the way from Bill and Ted through Matrix. I liked Matrix 2, which is uncommon. I didn't like 3. I can't go that far. But I liked more Matrix, twice as many Matrixes as most people.

That's true. Yeah. as many matrixes as most people that's true yeah and uh uh so like i'm not anti keanu or anything but i do find him to be kind of like 90 myth and legend and 10 delivery like he'll just say something sweet on a talk show and everyone is like oh my gosh can you believe that there is a person out there that is sweet but it will be like that it'll be like a picture of him like helping an old woman across the street and it's like oh this makes me forget about his acting wow he's really getting into the role though he's being john wick right now with his flat face i'll disagree slightly i think he does specialize in characters

he specializes in stoic characters you said more often than not though have you seen him in um always be my maybe where he plays himself but a super douchebag version of himself and just shits on everybody and acts like a like complete d-bag to everybody on the set and then the original john wick i thought was really good acting and i think it's better than the others because it's a little character study about a man that's boiling and angry. And he's not killing these people for any particular reason. He's just like working through his own problems. I did see him in Always Be My Maybe.

And it was again, he was like 90% myth and legend and 10% actually delivering on that part. They had him up as like the most desirable super bachelor that could ever have existed. So handsome, so tall. So like beyond anybody's like comprehension and how wonderful he was. That was the role he played. And I'm just like, I mean, like, he's cool. I always felt like that was the common take or a very common one. Is that like, oh, yeah, seems like a real nice dude.

Not a very good actor, though. Like that's that's not uncommon. I've seen lots of people. It's OK. It's totally OK to like a person and dislike their professional works as long as they're not working for something horrible like building super weapons or i don't know i feel like their ability to the glory of god you know then you got to give them credit building those nukes just as good as they can

pet a dog and the internet will go wild about how wonderful he is and look people just pet dogs are nice but I've just heard so many stories about how wonderful he is and every one of them is just really impressive like you know he gave his salaries away on the matrix movies right like a hundred million you have like a hundred million dollars of his own money away to the crew. He just didn't take any pay. I remember that. It was his royalties they paid a few years later and the crew didn't get underpaid so he just gave them all the royalties

and just didn't care, seemingly. That's neat. It's one thing after another like that. He seems like legitimately like, what does he do in the shadows that he's having legitimately like what does he do in the shadows that he's having to make that's so dark and disturbing that he's like maybe if i gave a hundred million dollars to the cast and crew of the matrix that maybe that'll make up for the

children that'll get me off those flight logs okay like pictures of him at epstein's island you know yeah i don't know. I agree. He could be kind of one note, but I'm okay with it. Sam Jackson's fucking one note. Sam Jackson plays two characters, angry and furious. That's it.

But I love Sam Jackson. I want him in my movies. I never hear about charitable exploits. I never hear about Sam Jackson's charitable exploits. The Joker was one note, and everyone but me loved the Joker. I never hear about his charitable exploits. I never hear about Sam Jackson's charitable exploits. The Joker was one note, and everyone but me loved the Joker. Who was the Joker? Yeah, it was just you. You didn't like the Joker?

I thought it was a little one note. I thought the guy just was, I don't know, I thought the storyline was weak, that it took a long time to tell. Wait, are you meaning Joaquin Phoenix or the Joker? Sorry, I just, I wouldn't. I guess the way that joaquin phoenix played the joke the most recent joaquin phoenix performance i thought was one note i thought he just played a guy that didn't smile and laughed inappropriately for three hours was that movie i forget felt like six there was a lot more up and down like like he he had a big range like all of his range was within being a crazy social reject he went to five to 5.5

he was happy and like he was happy and thought he had his life together at points and then there were these moments where he's recognizing his own sickness and he's just like smoking those cigarettes down to the down to the butt with his therapist and like realizing there's no help here and the absurdity of it all and then there's just unbridled rage it by the end and then when he's in the bathroom talking to uh the wayne you know thinking it's his father you know that i thought it was a high level of jubilation when at the very end it's like he's on top of the burning car and he's like i did make something i and he like gives a vibe of like i'm not alone i thought i was the only person feeling this way there's a lot of clowns out here just like i thought i think there'll be a sequel oh yeah probably yeah

this might just be in my head i thought joaquin phoenix said he wasn't doing it did you hear that i'm not sure about that. I don't know. I watched a terrible Joaquin Phoenix movie. You ever look at a movie's cast and think, oh, shit. Him, him, him, him, him, and him? This is going to be wonderful. I love her. I like her. Too many good actors and

actresses is going to be bad. I watched a movie called The Sisters Brothers. It has Jake Gyllenhaal, Joaquin Phoenix, and, oh, what's the guy from Step Brothers? John C. Reilly. And I was like, oh, man, that's a great cast because I like John C. Reilly in serious roles. And it was not good.

It was a Western, and it was not good. I love Westerns. I like all three of those actors a lot, and it was a bad movie. I looked at the cover of it to try and remember if I'd seen it and I have and I couldn't tell you what it was about so I clearly wasn't paying attention. Not a good sign.

Joker 2 it looks like it is going to happen. Joaquin Phoenix is under an option to return. I don't know what that means exactly but I think I was just wrong. I must have been thinking of something else. I don't know how they would do a second Joker without Joker in it. It's all just flashbacks to the first movie.

Jared Leto or whatever that guy's name is. Oh God, they're not doing that again. I thought he would come back as the Joker. I'd rather have Jack Nicholson come back. No, Jared Leto. They refilmed him as the Joker for Justice League and a little bit for the new Suicide Squad movie. Supposedly.

They're doubling down with another Suicide another suicide squad yeah but this one looks like dumb on purpose like it's it's more like a parody and less like the first film it has in it as all i know i was stupid on purpose the whole time fool you thought we tried to make a good movie it's like right like we wait until we open the box to see whether or not we were trying to be bad the whole time but you think that's what cyberpunk is going to be one of these things that looks good on the box and you open it up and it's not going to be what people are hoping for that's not what i was saying i i was saying i

don't get it and it might just be that like like I didn't like Skyrim as much as everybody else did. Maybe that's just not my kind of game. I'm looking at it, and I'm like, why do I play this? Like, is there a story? Is it a movie? Like, I don't know. It's a playing movie, I guess. That's what this is.

Woody doesn't understand role-playing games. And that's okay, because Woody loves shooters. That's his genre. His genre is shooters. He loves them. I love them, too. But when it comes to role-playing games, Woody... I've said this before.

Woody plays the role... Woody plays the role of Matt Woodworth, who is streaming a video game and disliking it thoroughly. And he plays that role. He doesn't break character. Not even for instance. He's just like, alright, where's the next objective? Done!

Next objective? No, no, not that side quest bullshit. We're beelining for the end here. End game. He can beat Skyrim in 45 minutes. He'll speedrun that shit. Smash Mouth Skyrim. Right up the middle. That's how we play. game like he can beat skyrim in 45 minutes he'll speed run that shit and be smash mouth skyrim right up the middle that's how we play the meandering of those games where it's like you know what i am gonna see what this random farmer needs my help with let's just let's go there's no

way that has anything to do with the gray beards but i might get a cool helmet or a magic bucket or something really or maybe it'll open up oh the the old man revealed his cloak and he's the assassin king and he needs you to do a mission like when i play that game i literally have like how i buy a house in every town and i decorate the house with the things that i have won on my quest because you'll win like some like you'll do some quest and help some farmer and you'll end up with like a magical golden fucking helmet but like its tier is so low like you'd never actually wear it on a in a battle but it's cool to look at and there's a there's a memory of that quest you went on so i'll put it up on the mantle of my fake home in one of the fake cities and like i'll when i wake up there i'll just kind of look around like yep but do you know

how meticulous and how hard it is to to put daggers in the display cases they don't snap in place you're like rotating it with that wobbly thing and yeah dropping it over and you're like a marionette who's never performed before trying to fucking put on a show when you when you place one of those daggers yeah i remember that's the part where i quit skyrim not for good saying i would never do it again. But when I realized, like, I remember sitting there, I had built an enormous house, like, for my guy. Because I had already built a little house. And then it was like, oh, add more expansions. And it was like, there is not even a single person for me to talk to in this game anymore that I haven't spoke to three times.

So, yeah, make it really big. Fill the whole thing with my treasures. And as I was, like, walking around around and was like, you know what? That frame would look a little better over there. I moved it. And I was like, I finished Skyrim. That's it. And I would like maybe like five or six times I'd like walk out of my house

and like see my distractingly blue glowing stallion like right outside in the middle of the uh the winter wonderland and then like a few times just walk back in just be like oh cool and then that was it so i spent hours organizing that house just trying to squeeze the last little bit of blood out of the skyrim stone and i haven't logged back in since so i'm sure my house is still as beautiful as it was in late 2011 i would go on what i called skyrim adventures and that's when you get half an ounce of marijuana and two pipes and uh just as much taco bell and like hydration as you can handle and i would just sit there and go into a realm of skyrim that for six hours just

just zoned the fuck out just playing and like kitty would be downstairs like like hey we take out the garbage we do this or that i'm like skyrim adventure you gotta stop man my heart can't take this there's no marijuana here i mean it's so fun it packs packs and like gaming events and stuff. And then I come back home and like, well, it's a dry state. Lovely. Sucks to suck, man. Yeah.

Nobody likes that. I can relate. Maybe we'll get that federal legalization in a couple of months. There's a chance. I just wrote that down. So, you know, the house passed it. Mm-hmm. Kind of a symbolic measure, I imagine, right?

What a lot of people might not know is when the House passes it, that bill is passed for that session, which ends every two years, or in this case, in about three weeks. So it will get unpassed. I don't know the exact date, maybe January 2nd. It's something close to that. maybe January 2nd. It's something close to that. So I don't anticipate the Senate taking it up and the president signing it in the next three weeks. I totally agree.

I believe the... Oh, I know. So there's a runoff in Georgia right now with the two senators. So if the Dems win both those seats, they'll have a chance to vote on the bill. Oh, even if they put it now, if the Republicans- It'll be a new one. I think this one was a test run. I think they wanted to see if it would go

through the House. And then if they win those runoffs and Biden gets in barring some sort of weird disaster, then relatively early in the administration, they can just put the same bill right back through the same process and pass it on up. Right, right. But when those two senators get their jobs, the bill will get unpassed. They'll have to start over. Yes. Interesting. I've been misled.

Oh. Can the House pass it again, though? Probably. Assuming they consider it again, you know, like they might be more apt to pass it knowing that it doesn't mean anything. Then they will like, oh, well, shit. Now that we have the senate did we really mean this i hope but i hope that you're right and i think that you might be i bet it might go through even if the republicans won the runoff like and they

got like they fully controlled the senate like there's there's a couple of republicans like isn't rand paul still in the mix he's not voting against wheat or anything he'll vote in favor of that because he's all libertarian and shit there There's got to be a couple more in there. A big weed company hiring Republican advisors as well. It's about the Senate voting on it at all, though, right? I agree with what you're saying. Maybe it would even pass, but Mitch McConnell has to allow it to be voted on. And historically, that would be a thumbs down.

How much longer is he hanging out? I think he's going to die this term. That's just me talking. I don't know. Did he just get reelected for two more years? Did you just threaten Mitch McConnell? No. Did you see his hand?

That's what I was basing it on. Yeah. Did you guys see him turn part zombie? He's got very old man hands. It's like the post-IV bruising is what it kind of looks like. Someone said it had to do with blood thinner medication um that's possible my dad has to be on blood thinner oh god his hands and mouth and he's got hoof and mouth disease hoof and mouth so i'm uh if you're watching this up oh god that is that image just is just kind of scary to me like looking at it i would say oh my god did you

just get back from like hiking on mount everest do you have uh what's what's the name frostbite frostbite like do we need to do like an emergency skin transplant like when i would see old people at church or at the hospital or something with hands like that i would say to myself my god they must be in trouble like we need to get some medical help for these people or comfort them on their way out perhaps or like it would be funnier is if like right behind him there was a staffer with like a broken orbital bone and like swollen when i first saw it my natural assumption was that you know it was photoshopped i'm so skeptical of still images now even videos i'm a pretty skeptical of but still images in particular you can just crank up some contrast and such but it came from on the screen is the sun but it came from pretty reputable

sources like his hands and his lip that's just what he looked like he looked bad i guess he's a little better now you bruise like crazy on blood thinners like my my dad was playing goalie in my basement like a year ago or so when he first started taking his his blood thinner medication and i wasn't even shooting very hard at him but like hit him in like the the quad area and within like 20 minutes it was it looked like he got shot with like a bean bag and it was just a light puck so like yeah I guarantee I bet my I would bet two dollars that that came from taking blood

medication and then uh taking an IV right in the hand and just it's both hands though yeah both of them he was doubly you need to be twice as healthy both hands and his lips and his lips I might take your two dollars laughter laughter

laughter HD photography and video and the internet has been revealing And his lips. I might take your $2. $2. HD photography and video on the internet has been revealing so much crazy stuff. It's mostly like politics and celebrities because they hyper focus on these people. But I'm sure you guys saw like Rudy Giuliani wiping boogers on his face. Oh, yeah, man. We talked about that a lot. But that constantly goes when you're on camera.

Like when like this show here here you can't make mistakes they're they're not things going on in the background that people won't notice because it's always recorded and being picked apart and analyzed did you see well i'll try not to wipe your shoulders on my face tonight did you see him wipe him on his uh girlfriend or whoever that woman no he gave her booger bukkake i don't know if it was boogers i think he was wiping the sweat off and then he like put it on his hand and then he he it was like he was rubbing her and and through their kindest lens he was like showing her some affection or something but anoint her and snot but he had just like either i don't know if it was snot or i think

he has like a really sweaty forehead. Like, I guess that's a balling thing. And a high stress situation. I mean, I know that we were all political experts, of course, but sitting in front of a big panel,

answering hard questions cannot be easy. Yeah. Oh, never do anything like that. Perhaps. Yeah. So, uh,

Giuliani, I wonder how sick he is. Well, i think hopefully very in the first five years of your life in the last five years of your life you should be allowed to wipe boogers on people without getting too much trouble i hadn't thought about the first five but you're right you remember that uh remember that terrible tv show designated survivor yes we're like uh you know all of congress and uh the president and everyone gets wiped out in one fell swoop. Very good opening episode. And they're like, oh no, whatever will

we do? Am I the only one who thinks that if that actually happened, there would just be parties in the streets and rejoicing everywhere? Dude, there would be like genuine parades all over the country of people. For a short period of time before the

power vacuum totally collapsed. I think the conspiracy theorists would go wild. They would. They would surely believe it was that those other people that did it.

Well, that was the case in the TV show. Spoiler alert for a terrible, terrible show. They even put that spoiler in the trailer for it. I remember watching that on like Fox

back when I had old square TVs. Just watch the pilot it's a very good opening episode yeah the first episode three episodes so good yeah those they'll get you to watch a whole season and wonder why oh not just one for you lucky lucky i was watching for years there was this i can't think of what else she i think she was in lafayette maybe there that i'll bring it up again i've said it before but i'll say it every time this comes up there is a 120 pound asian woman who is beating up six foot four men two at a time throughout that series she's just like throwing those woman punches and just sitting on fly perhaps huh is it ming na win oh i don't do well with those people's names. Ming-Na Nguyen?

She was a gangster in The Mandalorian. She was in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. She's usually like the go-to Asian lady martial artist. Maybe, actually. Yeah. Now that you mentioned Mandalorian. Yeah, really attractive, but very skinny. There's a scene where she's hitting a heavy bag, and it's supposed

to be like, she's trying to come to a difficult decision, and she's working a heavy bag and it's supposed to be like, she's like trying to come to a difficult decision and she's, she's working the heavy bag and her boss is over her shoulder. Like you just can't do this anymore. You're pushing things too far. And she's just like, and I'm thinking like she could hit me as hard as she can in the teeth. And it's not going to knock me unconscious.

It's going to hurt her hand, but it's not going to like, she's just, I to hurt her hand, but it's not going to like, she's just, I mean, big, like big mercenary dudes in the jungle. She's just going to beat up multiple Navy seals. I need them to be superheroes.

Wonder woman can do it. I'm on board with that. Absolutely. What about atomic blonde? That was also, that was also kind of bullshit. At least they filmed it well though, because it looked like she was having a hard time.

Or what about the, the lady in the Mandalorian, That was also kind of bullshit. At least they filmed it well, though, because it looked like she was having a hard time. Or what about the lady in The Mandalorian who is a professional MMA fighter? Would you buy that? I would be her destroying several cakes, an apple pie at one time. I would bet on her in a blueberry pie eating contest with no utensils. You put her on Coney Island, those hot dogs stand. No chance. That woman will wreck a buffet. But people, I don't know.

Not anymore. Only woman Kobayashi fears. I was hoping she'd be so busy with the Mandalorian, she wouldn't come. You guys have different opinions to me. I see these women martial artists that have said i'm not gonna fuck with them because a little bit of technique can go a long way against somebody like i assume most of us are not expert fighters now how do you do against pgb operatives probably quite differently i lost to a girl expert fighter

once before tara la rosa you can google her i think that's her name yeah no we have some respect for a female actual female fighters it's just you know charlize theron isn't one of them no it's it's it's acting good acting mind you that's her but acting it's a sport to it yeah she didn't look like a fighter though she just looked like charlize theron really struggling with a cut with three guys in a hallway i don't know it and i feel the same way about dudes like like in movies too like like anybody who's beating up more than two people at a time it's just like really though like like so what kind of superpowers does he have did they inject him with a serum like that's all i need to like suspend my disbelief just show me that one scene where they inject him with a serum or you don't have to tell me what's in it or don't convince

me that this is supposed to be real like i'm totally okay with jackie chan beating up nine guys but oh yeah you know it's fun making himself into a human torpedo and diving through ladders or something like that like you know like it's fun i like it i enjoyed your film uh but if you try to tell me he's actually beating up all these guys at once then they can fix this problem by adding a little bit of dialogue of the henchman we have to get beat up before the fight where it's just like her waiting around the corner and then you see them like an added scene where he's just like god i'm so fucking hung over and then and that's the only thing and then it's like okay it's a little more believable there oh i have the flu i can't believe henchman number six made me come in today

and then they get beat up my old shoulders hurting yes you guys uh our public freak out on reddit of course yeah yeah if you want to see the real version of any of these fights you can watch it there and i'm sure that as all of you who are watching it know like very few people win two and three v ones and if they do there's a huge skill or size difference or maybe a weapon like you see all these fights like one guy i want to take on three and he might fight two of them surprisingly well and the third one's gonna sucker punch him from out of nowhere and even if that third guy is the scrawniest little dude if you're not paying attention you just get popped from the side

it is lights out yeah did you ever see the video where the one guy beats up like five women in a pizza parlor i don't know if i ever saw that am i bad for liking that one as much no they they needed it i don't remember exactly what they were doing but they were the ones in the wrong picking on one girl i yeah i think five girls were like talking about the big the big dude he's like six foot five and all the all the little women were kind of like surrounding him he just started knocking them out one after the other that had a racial component and we're not allowed to like that. That's why I was very particular about my words. Yes.

I noticed that. Yeah. That, that, that's a different video and we're not allowed to like, this is the video. Taylor. Taylor is age restricted.

This is what I claimed at age. The days of watching videos kind of pass. Oh yeah. I suppose so. I, I, this channel comes in and he's just like one knockout two knockouts three and at first the lady's like really you're gonna try to fight us oh no he is he's gonna yep he just beats the shit out of all of them and he's not holding back even a little if you guys if you guys want to watch it's called girl girl is getting beat up by five girls and guy saves the day that all you get it uh oh wow he just took If you guys want to watch, it's called Girls Getting Beat Up by Five Girls

and Guy Saves the Day. Is that all you get? Oh, wow. He just took her down. I have seen it played to... This is like whack-a-mole, dude. This is insane. I've seen this put to I Need a Hero, which is great. He's saving innocent people.

They have really low HP or or something they're taking one shot insta kills he caught them all right after a raid they're all low they were trying to bandage up yeah i love that they're still like they're all enthusiastic participants right if one guy was beating up five women and they were holding their heads and dodging and just like scared please stop but no he'll throw one down they'll get up and come back for more yeah you're in luck i've got so much more yeah it's an all you can eat ask taylor how many girls can you beat up all right so all right so so we're talking about high school age let's just say semi-athletic let's say they're cheerleaders.

Pretty muscular density there. An 18-year-old cheerleader. They're adult-sized. They're still girls. They're going to be in shape. Good cardio and such. Are there any weapons about? No weapons at all. This is on the football field. You have

charge down from the stands to protect. I have the high ground. You do have the high ground. You are barreling downhill toward them. And I Healy down. Taylor, this is serious, all right? This is not a laughing matter, Taylor. I have my Healy's in the other room right now we should compare heelys

on this show we should compare heelys yeah you're the odd one out man kyle you're acting like you're hot shit over there with no heelys at all okay i'm good on the ground or on the football field how many of them are there? Oh, it's a whole squad. There's 14. But the other team's squad is over there, and they don't play favorites. There's no team rivalry when it comes to a man charging down from the stands. So if need be, if you think you can take all 14, there's 14 more across the field. I think that, all right, are they just normal girls? They don't want to be in the field i think that all right are they just normal girls they don't want

to be in the fight i assume right they're down they're down so there's no chance of me just brutalizing the first one with like an overhand really telegraphed right and like as her eyes leaking out like the rest of them get scared and i can attack from behind they're gonna there will be no more and come for you okay psychology will play no role in this in this and i'm gonna say i can get like four four that guy'd be fine there's a well but if they're all motivated like you can only take it it's just a matter of getting up your way skinnier and weaker than your average cheerleader in that video all right i can take 10 i can take 10 no problem because here's the thing the only thing that would slow me down the only thing that's going to slow me

down is if they're like grabbing my forearms right but but girls have no grip strength or upper body strength so you can just pull your arm away from them and hit that one and just keep going and you don't have to hit them very hard you just have to hit them if they're tackling you all you have to do is be on the ground for any instance. How are they going to get you on the ground? What do you squat? Can you carry 14 cheerleaders? How big are your quads? You think they're going to form that pyramid on top of me?

They're just going to mob you like a bunch of goblins and squeeze you. This isn't Matrix. They're going to approach you in pyramid, Kyle. I think I like mega anime. It's like form, ultimate ultimate formation and they just fuse together it would take so many cheerleaders to frighten me in a physical confrontation like it would literally take i don't 25 for me to be worried about my safety i don't have to take you out though the point is let's say you knock out four and then 10 of them are laying on top of you you're

immobilized that's thousands of pounds on top of you. Even if you're not getting beat up, that's the end of your road. You think 10 women can hold you down, Taylor? Because I don't think 10 women can hold you down. No. Either of you. But you only need one to grab your balls and just twist.

Oh my God. That's against the law. That's my kink. First of all, you guys are making it sound like being at the bottom of a pile of 10 cheerleaders is a bad thing. At no point will I be uncomfortable no matter who's in control. Oh, no, I beat up none of them again. As you were describing this scenario, I can just imagine one viewer saying, oh, my God, this is my fantasy.

Please keep going. In my head, though, a a little bit i don't respect their offense right like like taylor's like what if they get you down it's over if they get me down then what they're going to hit me with their pillow fists like it's not a giant it's just like grappling you can grapple someone much stronger than you but if they don't have any offense if they don't know any arm bars or strangles then you just sort of keep grappling until your opportunity comes and then you do have an offense i think that i've done this with woody i was bigger and stronger and it made no difference when we get to the ground and

like i would i would hold him and i'd be like i would literally think and i think once i said out loud now what do i do? Because I have no tips. Like, anybody knows to hit. Like, that's simple. If it's grappling, then they need to have offense to win. Otherwise, they're just temporarily ahead. Back to the girls. With their pillow hands, I'm just not sure what they're going to do to me.

What's the fewest amount of use you think it would take to take 15 cheerleaders one no you couldn't take 15 by yourself there's there's too much mass there too much weight i totally agree i am challenging way more than cheerleading squads across the no the planet today nay the galaxy 15 v1 bare kn. No holds barred. Let's go. I'll put $100,000 on the line. You're all going down. You're all going down. There's going to be like an MMA or like wrestling cheerleader squad.

That doesn't count. Jack. That doesn't count. Big fat bitch like that holds the pyramid together. You know, Bertha comes in barely towards you. She absorbs the first go. She's down, of course, for the count because you have a man fist.

The other 14 dog pile you. My arms are 40 inches long. They're not going to get close to me. I think you're so wrong. The combined weight is more than a couple of cars. The combined strength is like that of an elephant. You're thinking, yeah, I'll just sock them.

How fast can you knock? Can you knock out like eight people at a time? Because even if you knocked out eight, you still have literally six people, six pair of hands on your back, hooking your eyes, pulling your nose.

I can knock out five in 30 seconds. You're dead in 30 seconds, dude. Yeah, you're dead in 30 seconds. Five of them unconscious in 30 seconds. You couldn't take on 15 dogs. Honestly, I hope that they all pile on top of me because now

they're really close and now I can actually hurt them. Now they're not all spread out. I can't breathe because there's 8,000 pounds on my chest. Please get off. I'm going to die. I wonder if they're going to stack one on top of each other. That would never happen. They're going to be rolling off. I'm going to be flailing around. I'm going to be fucking

fingering. I'm going to be doing all kinds of crazy shit. They're not going to like what I do. You're not going to be able to finger because it's a bunch of motivated cheerleaders who fight like girls. One of them is going to core your eyes out the second that you're not able to. I'm wearing my goggles. Did you play high school football? No.

Okay, everybody's equal. You don't know what it's like to be at the bottom of a dog pile. I do want to point out that Kyle thinks 14 cheerleaders are less dangerous than one eagle oh well the eagle see it depends on the rules right because i'm describing a scenario where i i attack 14 cheerleaders and you're describing a scenario that i once described where an eagle has this has the smarts of a man and he's coming down from above at high speed, and he's got those talons, like talon first, into your eyes.

He's going to core you out right away. Come at me. Oh, yeah, you're always watching the skies. What I'm hearing is that you see yourself as a glass cannon. You're like Will Smith in Independence Day 2. We always watch the skies. Like, no, no, they're coming for you. What was that, Drifter?

I think you see yourself as a glass cannon you think you can just one two three ko anybody but you're not tanky enough no not anybody at all i definitely can't do that to cheerleaders at least i couldn't fight two average men wouldn't happen but so you think high school cheerleaders to equal one average man no not even close no it doesn't work like, it doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that. No, that's like saying 100 mice equal one cat. It's a whole different fucking scenario.

They don't have the tools. They don't have the talent. I tell you this. If you make the rules that none of them, that they're in the middle of a cheerleading practice and I come in like a bat out of hell, like a maniac, and they don't want to fight. Pump it up to 100.

That'll just be an issue of my cardio being the limiting factor. How much or how fast I can run. If they're single file. What if that's like the worst possible thing? I'm glad that we're on this topic because I have I'm completely incidental, accidental that we were talking about beating up women. I know we do it every show, but not quite a woman, but a small man

has challenged Woody to fisticuffs. One of our... Did you see his message he wrote last time? I did. I did. About him starting training this month or next month or something. So one of our... Go ahead. Set it up. Set it up. One of our $50 patrons, Dirty, has challenged Woody to a boxing match.

And I'm going to try to find exactly what he said because it was pretty ruthless what he dropped in the chat last night. Because I think Woody was like, is he serious? Does he really mean what he's even saying? I, I can't, I'm struggling to find it because I got to screw up so far, but he basically said, Woody, I'm not kidding. I am a hundred percent serious. I will do this anytime, anywhere, headgear, no headgear, whatever kind of gloves you want, whatever kind of rule set you want with a ref without a ref at your house at my house in a ring anywhere anytime any day you're mine bring it so i read it and i was grumpy to start with and i thought it over and i was like you know what yes yes fucking yes i am tired of this fucking man lit this guy is like 135 pounds and he is picking on me at this point he won't let like i would like to let it drop it seemed

for a while it was much like an aggressive girl where maybe you're like it just seems inappropriate to make you pay for what you're doing and at but at some point dirty is just gonna have to meet his maker right at some point dirty yes fucking yes officially i will let you know next time in heart well apparently that's where you want to fight i'll let you know when i'm Hartwell. Apparently that's where you want to fight. I'll let you know when I'm coming around. You can show up. You should be aware that inside the first 15 seconds ago, you'll be on your back and I will do, I will keep going until I feel like you've learned a lesson.

It might involve a broken nose, a broken orbital bone. I don't know, but you asked for this and you are still, I will drop it if you want. But if you show up, you will learn a lesson. And this was all your idea. I just want you to remember this was entirely your idea.

It's like two different badass movie quotes combined into one. He just combined Kurt Russell from tombstone when he said you called down the thunder well here it is with tom cruise from uh what's the move from what's the movie where he's like the the the military police jack reacher or something like that jack reacher yeah where he's like just remember you wanted this now we have to get this organized you know you just like the next pay-per-view event i had no like jake and logan i played no role in the origin of this he just kept coming at me coming at me uh if he's gonna come back and say no woody queensberry

boxing rules dirty this is the part where i lied to you okay boxing rules right but come and get it and then see what happens because you're going to be on your back and i'm going to rain down elbows on your orbital bone until i think until i no longer want to that's how this ends the joke's on you he's going to enjoy it this is his thing getting dominated by content creators yeah i i just i i'm kind of fed up i'm kind of like he just fucking poked at the bear too many times if you want an ass kicking that's a service i provide to little manlets come and get it so if he did want to do boxing you wouldn't agree to boxing i'm not interested no no no i bought queensberry boxing rules this is fucking 1985

that's like the normal stand-up eight count bullshit that he no no no no i'm telling you i i i may do a little stand-up but i will quickly go i'll tell you dirty just so you know in advance i'll probably be going for a double leg if that doesn't work i'll transition to a single run the pipe put you on your back and then do whatever strikes my fancy that's how this goes he's gonna spit on you oh no oh no no i'm saying the worst possible thing he could ever do i was meaning that what he's gonna like this like a schoolyard bully hold him down oh okay out of his mouth like it's gonna turn his head sideways to go straight into his ear he's gonna going to bleed on me at worst. I just like, and Dirty, like I said, you can still get out of this if you want to.

That's no trouble. No, the die is cast. You know he wants it, man. He wants it. He can come get it. You know, like I'm just, like that thing that he wrote where he called me out and said he was all serious. That was in response to nothing. Like I didn didn't say anything it was out of the blue you know i don't even i think it was online that day like i think we just so i'd fucking if you want it here it is come and get it

these are the kind this is the kind of fun you get in on when you're one of our 50 patrons all right you get to fight woody not only do you get apparently a monthly fuck fun you get in on when you're one of our $50 patrons, alright? You get to fight Woody. Not only do you get apparently a monthly fuck show, you get to fight Woody. Yeah. Every one of them get to fight Woody. How many $50 patrons can Woody take?

$50 a pop, I'm sure you guys know Vovity, right? I'm sure he'd like to fight. Yeah. Vovity would love to take on... You could go to Japan to catch up with him. I'm much tougher while he's in Japan. I'm very tough while he's in Japan.

He can come and get it too, provided he's not here. I'll steal Valorite in front of his face as long as he's still in Japan. I'll stay... I won't go that face as long as he's still in Japan. I'll stay. I won't go that far. I won't even do that. I was going to say that. I won't say that.

Well, you can probably steal American valor in Japan. They probably don't have a law against that there. I think Bobby's having a very good time over there. Stop the pressure. Is there a law against stealing valor? You can't do that? What's that? I'm'm sorry you can't steal valor no i i don't think i want to steal any valor um or say anything about the navy

well then you pay full price at auto zone sucker i will i'll continue to pay full price at auto zone well this is great i hope that he doesn't back down and i hope that for once one of these internet fights actually happen well of course he's gonna back down woody has said no i will not fight by your rules i'm i want a street fight where i beat the shit out of you and he's like but but i thought we do that thing that like everybody's doing these days where we box and he's like false yeah yeah absolutely i going to permanently disfigure your face. I am tired of being bullied by a 135-pound manlet.

Like, enough. A fucking enough. Is this guy like the bagel boss? Do you remember him from Public Freak? We had him on the show. Yeah, we had him on the show. I think he died. Oh, God.

You wouldn't be surprised. Did he die? I hope so. He was an awful person. Really short people and really tall people can just go sometimes. Let me see if the bagel boss is dead. That's always sad when you catch somebody on the internet, and you think, oh, that's them at their lowest moment.

They must have been having a bad day. And then you meet them in real life, and it's like, no, every day is probably their bad day. This is their normal. I mean, when he came on, he was talking about how he, maybe Kyle or what he remembers better, but like, I'm going to, in the next year, I'm going to have a yacht out in the bay. I'm going to be partying with all my friends and all my famous friends on my yacht, and none of these bullies are going to be invited. None of these bullies can come on my yacht.

It's like that. It's like he had a stroke, and he's been recovering from that. I'm having a hard time finding out if he's dead or not, but someone did tell me recently that he was dead. They could be wrong, though. Fingers crossed he will die if he's not dead yet. Horrible person.

Actually, I think that's the third person tonight that you wish to have died.'s like the third person tonight that you wish to have died it's the third person that I wish to have died out loud none of his big plans came to fruition whoops

big plans so you should have said little plans I wonder what an alternative universe version of him would be. Because he really did have this short man syndrome. He was being tougher than the situation called for. He had a problem with women because he didn't have any success with them. And he had this blanket dislike.

He was a misogynist in large part is like a defensive reaction to his lack of success with girls what if he just didn't have this near disability that that you know dirty and bagel boss have like what if uh you know what if he was born into like a full-size body then he probably would have been a pretty normal guy i would guess like right can you imagine like can you imagine how enraging it must be to be how tall is like five feet even like that right like he's like five feet tall and he has to go around as an adult man at five feet tall every single day just probably getting looks being roasted he's like like when he was like all these women are giggling at me like

that was the billionth time in his life that that had happened and he's just and of course now we know that he had exploded many times leading up to that but like i can't imagine that would put yourself in those shoes those little shoes for a second yourself in those little oshkosh his baby shoes yeah that'd be hard to come back yourself in those

light up velcro stompers and see how tough you are yeah i would kill myself yeah see now he's

wishing death on himself four well well i'm i'm i wouldn't wish i would just fucking kill myself here i'm gonna keep up with the death tally yeah yeah it's gonna be high it's gonna be high like like you know any sort of disfigurement or maiming is that's a suicide what's the shortest you can be

before you just put an end to it because you've said five feet tall at mega boss no i now are we describing a scenario in which a witch curses me and i start shrinking no it's like just a natural or sure sure fuck it yeah because they're different answers because i think if you if you've always been five foot nine that's no big deal at all like who cares all right now you you know you you find a shorter girl, right? Kitty's cousin is a little fella. I think he's like 5'6". And I think he's a really tiny woman who's very beautiful. And it works because there's a nice height disparity between them, and it just works.

She probably doesn't want some fucking six foot two tall dude like towering like two feet over her it probably wouldn't make any sense to her so like a five foot six guy is like proportional so five foot nine if you're you know if you've always been five foot nine it's no big deal but if you magic wand shrink me down to five foot nine i'm gonna start thinking really okay how about this five foot eight i kill myself kyle what so that's the cutoff that's the cutoff let me do this what if you went down to 510 right not so bad but yeah i get the list your muscle so now you're like a tanky 5'10". Bruce Lee. No. Bruce Lee's not tanky to me.

That's not going to satisfy me. I will get the lifts. John Cena at 5'10". I've got it. I know what will satisfy you and your partner. Every inch of height you lose, you gain one inch of penis. Well, that's going to be murderous at some point. It's still impressive nonetheless. You get a totally different career than the one you have now murderous at some point. It's still impressive nonetheless. You're just like

a totally different career than the one you have now in a very similar yet also different entertainment industry. Poker in the throat even though you entered through the bottom. You're just three foot six walking around the jump rope in the trailer.

He leaves the room and then his dick does three seconds later i have a related topic and i don't know if this is a suicide causing for kyle but check this out one of the symptoms of covid is erectile dysfunction i saw that my wife is a nurse so she saw this pretty early on and she's like why didn't we talk about this earlier like if you if you told all the mouth breathers that it would give them erectile dysfunction they'd be lining up for vaccines like or just just lie and say the vaccine will make your penis longer or something just it'd be all grams of Cialis every day I think it'll be an issue yeah there's nothing holding that erection back. I think all of us are going to be fine. We're all young men. I think that should be abused.

I think the government should shamelessly abuse this information and pump it out to people that would take it seriously. They should just rename COVID to limp dick syndrome. Yes. Oh, man. Imagine that if it was limp dick syndrome with a little bit of respiratory distress. Yeah. Did you guys see the COVID MAGA study? It was sort of like, I guess a study is poking fun at right wing people.

But they tried to see why that particular far right group didn't care about it. And they were able to have success by repitching the disease as like a foreign invader and like an enemy that needed to be destroyed. the disease as like a foreign invader and like an enemy that needed to be destroyed and the more you ham it up like starship trooper style the more they would start to see covet as an actual problem well trump was trying to call it the chinese virus and they got on his ass about it i remember that the wuhan flu the wuhan flu the kung flu, I loved Kung Flu. You know, like a little bit of racism mixed in. If it saves just one life. If it saves just one life. On that related note.

My wife's Asian, right? So when that first started happening, everything went from perfectly normal to her being afraid to go out here. Oh no, really? Huge circles around her. They would fucking glare at her and make dirty faces and whisper and stuff all right i hate that we would only go to asian stores which

coincidentally are the cleanest all mask and everything like again it's not that it's not that way now but like in that first couple a month or two where everybody was blaming china she didn't go out because anywhere you go like she would walk in a bike just kind of look at her with see i hate that because that's like paramount ignorance right as if like she has anything to do with what happened in like a wuhan wet market right like lab you mean it was a virology lab you fucking sheep okay okay it was created by pfizer which is owned by glaxo i read that on facebook today oh god damn it what is facebook is scary as fuck are you on that info wars timeline no it's his like friends yeah i something so i go to facebook and for it's like a paramotor website

for me but i guess that sport is filled with like mouth-breathing Trump supporters. And I mean, like, shit. I know some people don't like this topic, but I can find a post from today that you just hold on. What it's all said and done. This is today, three hours ago. Other than Black Lives Matters burning down all kinds of buildings and cars, is Trump will be reelected. The GOP will keep the Senate, and the huge pickup of seats in the House will remain and take the gavel in 2022. These are results I'm very confident will happen.

Just wait and see, you nigh-sayers. Spelling. However, it's going to be- Wait, wait, did he say N-E-I-g-h like the way a horse n-y-e oh oh my god he didn't get it however it's going to be very ugly this country's going to be beyond repair that's uh so he's predicting that uh you know basically the senate uh they'll win both in georgia which maybe i agree with but that part is legit the house gains that part is legit but the illegitimate part of course was

the Trump part of the votes and he will be reelected and he'll be our president for the next four years you're just a knee-sayer yeah you're just a stick in the mud knee-sayer but I thought this if we named it the Trump vaccine which Trump wants to do

he kind of wants some credit for this. And in some ways, maybe deserves some of this credit, right? With the whole Operation Warp Speed thing. Maybe Trump supporters will be more inclined to take the Trump vaccine. Right? And what do you lose? Trump gets credit for something? Like, there's more important issues.

That'll be good for it. Because then people will be like, if they're pro-Trump, they'll be like, oh, the Trump vaccine. like if they're pro-trump they'll be like oh the trump vaccine and if they hate trump they're like finally the trump vaccine like this prevents you're getting everybody on that marketing that's a good idea vaccine man uh but i don't know if the people in that group really care about things like vaccines or science in general so i don't know how the branding of it would make a difference. I feel like- Just to be fair, both sides have people who don't believe in vaccines. Yes. Let me heal you with my energy crystals and align your chakras that'll change your vibrational frequency so the viruses just melt off of you. That is not a Republican speaking. No, no. Yeah. It appears to me that the guys who are really really pro trump right there's

a lot of great republicans i i probably will come off as a republican before too maybe once biden starts pissing me off they'll be like remember when woody was a liberal now he's all pro gun and you know i'll be like that was always me but anyway um uh shit shit the it feels like the guys who support trump right are inclined to just sort of line up with any trump position they were all family values before now that's not important they were anti-russia before now that's not important they were open markets before now they're protectionism they are just in line with what trump likes more so than what Republicans like. And if Trump were to be pro vaccine, this is my vaccine.

This is the Trump vaccine. I think they might line up with that. That's the hope. I think he probably will do that because he doesn't like passing up opportunities to take credit for things. I don't think Trump is, uh, I think he's checked out. I don't think he's doing any work. I think, uh, I don't think he's really doing anything at all. I think he knows checked out. I don't think he's doing any work. I don't think he's really doing anything at all. I think he knows he's lost.

I think he's just trying to figure out how to make the next month as non-embarrassing as possible, mitigate his losses, and potentially putting his ducks in a row to protect his friends and family legally and financially. And get the apprentice. I'm adjacent to that. I think Trump is in business mode again. You know, he's raised $200 million for his legal defense fund, and he's spent $8 billion, 8 point something. He is making money. And he is going to make money for the next four years.

You can call it a re-election campaign if you like, but he is going to make money. I don't even know if he runs runs but he will make money for the next only when he run he will win he might you know like you want to bet no little little four year bet here i choose bets that i might win i'm not i want to back up a little bit what do you said something that really uh struck a point with me that people that are not republicans not conservatives there's good reasons to have those beliefs i I live in Texas. I'm in some capacity part of that. But the hardcore Trumpers have replaced all of their personal values, all of their philosophical beliefs with loyalty. Your value and your goodness or righteousness is on the spectrum of loyalty

to the president. I've got a personal story about this. We're going to get a little bit dark. So hold on. It was something we mentioned a little bit beforehand. I was on the spectrum of loyalty to the president. I've got a personal story about this. We're going to get a little bit dark. So hold on. It was something we mentioned a little bit beforehand. I was on the receiving end of a really, really bad and kind of violent harassment campaign this year. I had to do a fan meetup and it was a big public event that I guess I could have canceled, but I didn't want to because it felt like that's like letting the bad guys win. I'm going to do it anyway. I had off-duty police. I had bodyguards. I had plainclothes bodyguards. It was bad. There were like serious threats coming in. And I didn't feel super comfortable.

So I wanted to call some members of my family and tell them what I was going to do. And I was going to tell them goodbye just in case things went really tits up. Like imagine calling your parents and say, hey, what I'm doing is important to me, but I might get hurt really bad. Right. And my parents, they're older. Some of my other relatives too, they're boomery, they don't quite get this internet speak. And I'm like, how do I phrase this in a way that they will understand it? Like how, like the threat of, you know, anonymous people online. And a little bit of it was

political, because in my situation, when I would shit talk the president, my particular harassment would get worse, because the people loosely associated with that group. And I thought, aha, what I'm going to do is I'm going to say, well, it's it's just like that thing you see on TV about getting brigaded on the Internet by angry Trumpers. Right. Because it's just something their brain can latch on to. After I said how dangerous and goodbye and I explained it a little bit, it was a complete breakdown in the conversation, like immediate stop. No, no, my people would not do this. Trumpers would never do this. It has to be Democrats in disguise.

You have to apologize to the president right now. And I'm like on the phone like I could be dead in 12 hours. And they're like, I'm not going to talk to you if you don't apologize to the president. Like, is he listening? Do they think they have to give a line to him? I don't know it was a total it was for me it was like a serious deal and to be fair it really wasn't like trumpers making the threat but it was the best analogy i could make and the very moment i said that uh some of my closest family just turned on me in a fucking instant it did like the loyalty is that deep it was one of the scariest things that I have seen or experienced

in a long time to see somebody just on a dime, like turn over their own children. You're doing better with family members now? With what? With family members now. I've learned to be patient. Yeah. It's hard to have a normal conversation though, sometimes. I used to talk politics with my parents

on a lot of our calls. Now, I think both sides actively dodge it. Things come up that are politics adjacent and it's just, don't touch the third rail, man, because we're not going to line up.

It's like it's not worth the grief. It's not acute disagreement anymore is it we still love each other like that that's not i think we look we're more loyal to each other than we are our political beliefs but it's but my father for example said that um trump is a born-again christian who perhaps was in his earlier days, but now he has accepted God into his soul, and he's a new person compared to the one that he was way back when. That doesn't make

any sense at all. All of his kids like, Ivanka converted to Judaism. Like, his grandkids are Jewish. Like, he's a born-again Christian? This is a level of Christianity that I'm not, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm ignorant here. But that's what he says. He says, you know, like he knows that he understands it. Maybe even on a personal level has like some feelings of, you know, accepting God later into your life. And that's what Trump did. And I'm just like, man, you are projecting like your favorite attributes of a person onto him. But that's not what coming from inside him that's coming from inside my father i bet you could count like genuinely religious like truly

heart of heart i believe this politicians on two hands like they were rick santori like how many of them do you really think believe like mike pence gives off that he really believes that shit i believe that mike pence like when he he really believes that shit i would believe that mike pence like when he goes home he really is praying before dinner but like lindsey graham these guys you think they're really no i don't think they believe any of that no dude in hungary they got arrested in the 25 man orgy i had that written down yeah dude a 25 man orgy you don't kick off your gay career with a 25 man orgy you don't tell me this do i'm saying that this was this was like this was his sugar bowl you know this is a big thing

for the month and it just gets ruined poor guy he just wanted to have some gay sex i feel like in the 80s a gay person was you know like had a lisp really effeminate limp wristed uh maybe clothes earring in the wrong ear now a gay guy is someone who passes anti-gay legislation someone who is really against gay people that's how i that's that's the new gay vibe to me that's it's kind of always been that way though it's just now with social media and stuff, it floats more to the surface. I guess so. Woody, so I told Dirty that he's going to call out on the show. He better be ready for this. And he said, good.

I still bet he backs out, though. I said, you realize he won't box you right. He's going to fuck you up, man. He says, laugh my ass off i'm gonna pack on 15 pounds of muscle in the next three months if he packs on 15 pounds of muscle he will be 60 pounds shy of me he says i'm gonna pack on 15 pounds of muscle in the next three months impossible with two months of classes unless woody starts prepping, he doesn't stand a chance. I reply, he will not stand with you.

He will take you down and he will break you. Dirty says, 155 pounds of pure muscle in my frame. Good luck to anyone against this physique. I said, laugh out loud. Now I know you're trolling. says okay man everyone is doubting this but I'm giving up my diet pepsi man this is for real Woody bring a waiver

you're going to need a nice little waiver for this guy to sign Dirty's not showing up you're going to lose $50 a month no no it'll keep debiting his card that's what you're gonna do get all these 50 patrons beat them into a coma and you just farm them you just like matrix like a very inefficient matrix yes i guess he's trolling i i don't know i don't know but i i am whatever like it so if people don't know i was

like all right dirty you can come to my front yard and he said no he turned that offer down i if you might have a really big front yard and um he didn't want to do that he said it was too far to drive he wants to fight me at lake hartwell which is a place where i go i do this paragliding training acro stuff which i guess is closer to him. Really close. So that implies to me it might be a troll because if it was the front yard thing, then it would just happen, right? I could just be like, where were you last weekend? Like, I think that might continue on.

I don't know. I don't know. God, I hope it happens and you beat him up. That'd be pretty fun. I want to see that too. I want to see because I'll be just like scrolling through my timeline and see some tweet with like 8,000 retweets of you just elbowing this random person

in a face and then all these people like I can't believe content creators are doing this. They're just the new 2021. This is the thing that gets the show ruined. Just beating up dirty. That's how the show ends. How old is this. That's how the show ends. How old is this dude?

He's young-ish. I mean, 21? Old enough to consent to a beating? Perfect. Yeah, he's definitely like a full-fledged adult. Yeah, well. We're talking to a 12, about 12-year-old this whole time. I don't know, 12, 13, a little punk.

Brandon, he's a big 12-year-old. Old enough to talk shit. He's big for his age. Fight off to next year so we can get a few more inside. Yeah, right. He wants to put on 13-year-olds. Puberty will hit soon. Really early.

Like, I know, I know. Woody's like, this was a pre-puberty fight. We all agreed. Absolute bear. Yeah, he just keeps poking at me. I don't know. It's up to him. It would be a grave error.

It'll be what it'll be. I hope it happens. That'd be really fun. Maybe we could video it and make it some sort of patron exclusive video content. Pay-per-view. I want the pay-per-view when you can watch

the GIF. Damn. That's about right. We're going to get gift. In minutes. I keep talking about all the stuff Disney is doing on Disney plus and all the series that are to come. I know that Luke Skywalker is going to be a next season of the Mandalorian played by somebody new.

The guy. Yeah. Young guy. Cause he's supposed to be like just post episode six, Luke Skywalker. So young Luke Skywalker, right after he kills darth vader or he doesn't kill right after darth vader dies um i'm waiting on you to process i am

so obi-wan kills darth no obi-wan kills anna darth maul i guess and then anakin becomes darth vader Darth Maul. I guess. And then Anakin becomes Darth Vader. No, you're a little mixed up. Okay, so Luke Skywalker faces off with Darth Vader at the end of episode six. Are you sure it's not three? Help me. Episode one is when we have little Anakin, the little tiny boy, who's going to be Darth Vader.

It's the third movie, which is episode six. Okay, this is tricky. Carry on. Yeah, Iader it's the third movie which is episode six okay it's this is tricky carry on yeah i know it is i know it is i had to think a little before i i phrased this but anyway young luke skywalker 25 year old luke skywalker in the mandalorians next season the guy that got to play him um looks a lot like him um sounds great to me all on board it's uh um trying to find what his name is caught up to where you guys are but my understanding is they're pulling in a lot of stuff from the rebels animated series yeah yeah they they are i don't want to give anything away because i know you're not not quite yet. They'll have Luke Skywalker next season.

They're going to do a Mace Windu whole TV show on Disney+. They're going to film it like The Godfather where they go back and forth in time. You're going to have actual Sam Jackson playing like the old version, and you're going to have Michael B. Jordan playing the young version of Mace Windu,

right? And it's going to focus on I guess he survived that fight that he had with the Emperor, and he like, you know, when he got his hand cut off by Anakin Skywalker, and I guess he's going to go on to get the fallen Jedi together

and kind of hide out while Darth Vader is kind of roaming the galaxy searching for them. So that's going to be its own TV show. And I won't spoil what the other TV shows are because they kind of have something to do with the episodes you haven't watched yet. Lots of projects going on over there. Oh, and then somehow I missed this it came out october 31st but the uh the the teaser for the uh the

obi-wan kenobi show with um with ewan mcgregor looked great sebastian stan looks that's the next luke skywalker yeah uh and i saw oh maybe i'll show everyone a picture of him. He looked good to me. Yeah, looks a lot like him. More handsome, for sure. He doesn't have that mole. It kind of did him up right there. Yeah, right? Wow, that is really close.

Dang. Yeah, plenty close enough. Yeah, it's believable. That was really good casting. Holy crap, I am impressed. I thought that was just a filter change at first. I like this picture a little better. It kind of shows the whole thing. Nails it.

And guess who's going to bring Hayden Christensen back to play Darth Vader? No. Yeah, and all the properties. Well, Christensen back to play Darth Vader. No. Yeah, and all the properties. Well, they need someone to play Darth Vader, and Hayden Christensen is alive. They should do it before where he's

just the guy in the costume and someone else does the voice. I think it'll be the op. That would be funny. He's just like, I'm here, boys. Where do we do the voiceover and stuff? So you're going to be in the suit. We got James Earl Jones back.

He's going to do the voice. Yikes, that'd be embarrassing. But yeah, I don't know. Better than the movies. I was talking to my wife just today saying that I kind of in my head want to pretend that the newer sequels didn't happen. And just the Mandalorian is the real sequel because one thing that's depressing is knowing in the canonical timeline pretty much everything that we're seeing with the Mandalorian and these other shows has to totally wrap up and then morph into whatever the movies were yep I hated those movies I I hated

them I hate it I like The Force Awakens. I was on board with that one. The rest of them was like just a downhill train wreck. I agree. But I feel like you phrased it so well. I liked The Force Awakens. I didn't love it. It wasn't the cultural icon everyone wanted it to be.

It's not going to define Western civilization like Star Wars did. But it was good. I thought it was a good movie. The next one, not quite as good. The third one, I forget the name of it, but it took me a couple times to stay awake through it and to see it until the end. Revenge of the Sith? Jedi?

That's not a good... The fact that none of us know the title is very telling. I didn't watch it. I refused. You didn't miss much, man.. I refused. There was much man. You really did. There was one scene in there without spoiling it. It's a sky fight in space where the spaceship shoot each other that I liked

a lot, but, but by and large, it wasn't a good movie. I don't understand Taylor, how you draw this, not even thin line. You just paint this big,

broad line between fantasy and science fiction and one is nerdy shit and the other you're like a philosopher over there with a fucking pipe fucking sitting in a room that smells of leather bound books just yes, yes, you see the dwarves had to go

to Minas Morgul yes, yes, I know it's the dwarves wouldn't have gone to Minas Morgul but they had to go to Minas Morgul. Yes, yes, I know. The dwarves wouldn't have gone to Minas Morgul. It's out of their way, but they had to retrieve a sword, an elven blade, and though they hated to touch it, it was required for the task at hand. Meanwhile,

we're over here like, yeah, so Luke Skywalker's coming back and you're like, nerds. What's he got, like a laser sword or something? Everybody goes the cool guys like fantasy they like the futuristic world where they still have regular swords you guys like your crazy future or past worlds where you have special swords and that's what it really comes down to is the kind of sword being used right ah yeah not really it's not that i fucking hate star wars or

anything it's just it it does it never sucked me in when i was little i did like the original the first three not the like 2000 ones the ones that like in the late 70s that came out i like those a lot and you know then as those other ones like the pod racing one i liked because i was young enough at the time to have liked that and then ever since then like when these new ones came out it was like huh i haven't given star wars any thought in so many years i just i don't really care what's going on with these characters anymore yeah but i'm not talking about star wars you sci-fi in general not fantasy but like cyberpunk futurey spacey i've been trying to find more sci-fi stuff to watch to broaden that horizon a little bit. Mostly movies, but Terminator 2,

I did watch that. Finally, Kyle. It was very good. It's sci-fi-ish. I saw the long gap between Terminator 1 and Terminator 2 sightings for me, or viewings. But yeah, I'll watch more science fiction stuff. I'll give it a go. I'll try. Have you seen Alien?

Have you ever seen aliens and aliens yeah we talked okay all right nailed it okay maybe blade runner is a big one he's not gonna like blade runner i haven't seen it's too slow i like oh does he not like big brain stuff no i like i like any kind of oh okay uh i don't know how many of you into this uh ghost in the shell the anime that is just amazing sci-fi, beautiful, smart brain plot stuff. A little bit slow and a little bit philosophical, but amazing all the same. I never give an anime a try. I'm right.

You better be careful with that. 99% of anime is garbage and about 1% is really good. So it's like regular TV. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. But you know, with anime, you have the people that just love every anime arbitrarily because they're infatuated with it for some reason. That's not really the case. Look, I've been in quarantine.

I've been in strict quarantine for 11 months. I've torn through some crunchy roll. Not all anime is good. Not by a long shot. I have seen this, Woody. I've seen Riddick. Oh, did you like it? Would my suggestion have been good? I don't remember a lot about it, not by a long shot i have seen this woody i've seen riddick oh did you like it would it would

my suggestion have been good uh i don't remember a lot about it but i also don't remember disliking it so it must have been one that just fell into the the chasm of things i've seen you know black man i liked it pitch black so it came before riddick it was the original. Oh, Pitch Black might be the one I wanted them to see then. I thought it was good. I like it too. I'll try this one, sure. Look, it's what's his fucking name? What's that awful actor's name? Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel. I wonder what his real name is. Fucking Peter Somerstad or some shit. That can't be his real name. Vin. What's your name then mark sinclair mark mark sinclair i was so close dude i just i'm not he's supposed to be this like super tough guy maybe even like so masculine a bit of a sex sex symbol i don't see it i i've never looked at him and thought like man i wish i looked like that all the chicks would dig me looks like earthworm jim

well look this isn't his best picture all right let's let's just okay let's go to like this go fast in the furious one let's just like that version of it diesel's pretty good looking he's pretty jacked there or from knock around guys now great knock around i think i remember him wearing a lot in that like but i did like his character that 500 speech yeah it's great it's it's great it's it might be one of the best tough guy speeches i can recall it's really good i show that to people all the time. That is a great tough guy. And you know who else? I like the anti-tough guy speeches that – who's the good-looking blonde from Top Gun who was in – Val Kilmer.

Val Kilmer gave these like anti-tough guy speeches, you know, like you ain't no Daisy or I'll be your Huckleberry. And it's like – I don't know. Something about that just seems tough too in an opposite way. Okay, here we go. Here we go. How about this? This is a much younger Vin Diesel,

according to Google. I was trying to find this particular image. Wow. Before he had any big acting roles. Look at that bulge. God. Maybe that's the key to his success. His face doesn't look like it belongs.

Doesn't that look like somebody dragged and dropped his face on there? No. It looks like somebody has to drag and drop that hair off of him. You can see the transition. Here, I'll find another picture. So this person doesn't even look like Vin Diesel to me. I don't see his face in it. But that guy's body is good.

Is that an animated version of vin diesel vin diesel the animated series vin diesel like if his parents were different um the jean-claude series on amazon where he plays a secret agent and it's like he plays jean-claude van damme and je-Claude Van Damme has been a special agent his whole life. And they funded and helped like disguise his trips around the world as filming. And they would spend no money on the movie. So his movies were always shitty,

but he would always manage to save the world and not get credit for it. I haven't watched this, but it's tempting and I'm stuck at home. So why are you so stuck at home? Can you say, you said you've been in strict quarantine for 11 tempting and I'm stuck at home. So why are you so stuck at home? Can you say, you said you've been in strict quarantine for 11 months because I'm in, I'm in the big city in Texas and people are fucking wild and out here with no mask and stuff and Corona. And I'm not about to get that. I know number one, I don't want to get it. I don't want to spread it to other

people. Um, there are places that I, in my city and I'm, I'm in Dallas, right? I'm in North Dallas, a suburb, which is a probably more liberal nicer wealthier area and there are businesses that you probably shouldn't visit if you wear to wear a mask you'll at the very least get dirty looks if not refuse service like there are and as you get you get outside the city like a fucking little bit service for wearing a mask never never for not wearing a mask i've been made very unwelcome at the other wearing mask in a few places they did not officially turn me away but've been made very unwelcome for wearing masks in a few places. They did not officially turn me away, but they made it very clear that I probably just shouldn't be

coming back. I would walk in, it's like the western scene, and all the customers just stare at you. So, I mean, Texas is not in a great spot for the Rona at all. Georgia is not like that. What kind of businesses are you walking into like

like a burger king and everybody's mad yeah but no the business like some businesses here are very professional for example is a taco shop that i love as soon as corona hit it shut down completely for three or four days maybe a week and then reopened with a fake front that's like a distribution center and it's basically online or call-in orders only. And you just walk by and pick up your tacos in like 10 seconds and they're cranking them out, making money. And then other places have tried everything you can imagine

to avoid the mass guidelines and just still seat people and cut every corner and hope nobody notices. And I don't know, it's bad. So I've been sitting in my house to hold, I've been out like twice the whole time. Well, I have to you have to go out to live in the world. But I mean, go out for my own amusement someplace. I want to go twice in the last 11 months.

This is going to be just bad, especially for young kids and stuff like not being able to socialize like that's that's really bad news. We're not meant to live like this like how are you guys are you guys doing the same are you just back to normal living or no i don't know here is that me i wear a mask i wear a mask if i go uh if i go somewhere and i tried to go as few places as possible i really only go places that i absolutely have to go same yeah just follow the mask guidelines when i'm out which it seems like like when i hear the stories of like of that what you said like that's so distant from the way i'm in missouri so it's not like you know it's not a big city living yeah big city living and like everybody's wearing a mask like my deep south grandparents wear the mask like when we go around out there like we went to dinner with them like

it was like seven months ago at the time or something like some little tiny place near them the the other old people in there had their mask on or whatever like they i it is rare to see somebody without a mask for example not where i'm at now but in my hometown a lot of the businesses have kind of reopened and not the normal ones but we're talking like strip clubs and bars and little like cheapo underground casinos and i'm not gonna go naming names because i'm getting some shit here. But basically they worked out some kind of deal with the sheriffs. And I think the deal

was a little cut of the profits where they operate business as normal and it's never enforced. And some of the people that I know still live there just love it. And they're like, it feels like freedom to me. And I'm like, y'all about to get sick.

So maybe because that's where the politicians like to hang out. The strip club. Probably. Yeah, I got to keep gotta keep that socially distant stripping i'm uh following the mass guidelines i don't go many places i am good my friend rented a beach house and uh it's just he and his wife and he has extra space this is it might be the nicest home I've ever been in, in my life. It is next level.

I think the guest house on this place is better than my house. Wow. Yeah. It's like crazy. I, I don't want to dox us for this weekend, but I was, it,

the real estate listing had like 20, a hundred pictures or something like that. And I'm kind of excited to go there. This is. It'll be fun. It's outrageous. No. Anyway,

so I'm going there, but I think we probably socially distance inside this place. What's your guys prediction to when? Yeah, you probably could. What's your guys. For when they say no more masks. As soon as I get the vaccine nobody can tell me

what to do i'm in the same boat as you are i've got the vaccine i shouldn't even be contagious really right hopefully i'm right i'm all the all the reddit scientists are going to tear me a new asshole for that but i don't care if i'm contagious or not as long as i'm not going to get it i don't care if all of you get it. And I literally mean you three. If you're vaccinated, then you are not a danger to us, I think. I think? I'm not sure. Unless they give you a hot dose and then you're hyper. Keep thinking that. I'm happy as long as you're happy.

But I just want the vaccine as soon as possible. Taylor has said he is completely anti-vax. Drifter, the other house is the guest house. That guest house that guest house doesn't it looks like a primary house did you change your mind taylor i don't know broadly are you really like anti-vax like you're just you you you believe viruses aren't real and stuff no no kyle was fucking around i was saying you said that you said you said you wouldn't take the vaccine i said i will not take the vaccine over my

dead body that was a lot of context there you know about well i mean to be fair i would be backpedaling now i see okay yep yeah we remember the conversation exactly the same you fucking someone else had a conversation with you in private it would seem it was kyle no i was uh they were i think the conversation was like are you gonna quickly get the vaccine or not and kyle and woody were like i'm gonna be first in line i want to get it and i was like hell no like i'm gonna let some some other people go they can get it like and i'm not one of those people who are like oh it's in there's nefarious or anything behind it it's just and i'm vaccinated for other. It's just like they haven't done any long-term testing

on things like fertility. I saw that old lady in the UK already got it. So it's tested. Oh, one more lady. Oh, I hope that it sterilizes you. It works perfectly and everything's fine and we can go back to fucking normal. We're not going back to normal.

There's going to be a huge chunk of Americans that will never take the COVID vaccine because they're afraid of some various thing about it. And what Corona has done has completely buttfucked the entire American psyche for I have no idea how long. I don't even think when the vaccine this time next year, we're not going to be back to normal, normal. Things are still going to be weird. But when you're vaccinated, your life goes to normal. I like that it's an opt in. Would you like to be immune from this problem? You can be.

Well, you're immune to your getting sick. You're not immune to economic problems. You're not immune to other people hogging hospital beds. You're not immune to weird anti-science stuff that they try to legislate sometimes. Like you saw in Florida uh they fired the lady because she wouldn't put in fake numbers in the database and then when she made her own database that federal aid or no it's like state agents raid her house like yes i mean they're basically trying to legislate truth there and force it like very orwellian in a lot of ways like we're not going back to normal real quick and then Nobody wants to take responsibility either. I don't care. I just want the shot. I don't care what y'all do.

I don't care about any legislation. Let's go to the Bahamas. You'll get a shot. It will be like $50 flights anywhere in the world. There'll be nobody there. We go to Dubai for like $23 and tip them in pennies because their economy is crashing without tourism. All right.

All right. All right. There's some good things. God, if I could just get off of probation at the exact same time I get my injection, I'm going to be so happy. 2021 might be a great year. I know you love this question.

Any updates on that? No. No, no updates. So Drifter, the situation is I got two years of probation, so it technically ends next October. But after you've done 50%, you can kind of apply to like get out of it for like good behavior. And so I've been working on that since October. And when I say I, I've been paying a lawyer to work on that since October. So when I know something, y'all will know something. Any criminal mastermind plans that you've swept under the rug you need the lawyer to help hide?

What? You said criminal master plans you have? No. No criminal plans of any kind. Master or otherwise. We're calling it Operation insult to injury i flee

on my last day to colorado you jaywalk and like a fan recognizes you and takes a picture and like tries to send it to your parole officer or something i stay out of trouble i don't do anything like like someone was offering me um some like uh some torrented movies uh yesterday and i was like nah dude i'm good i'm good he's like no no you just log into this account you got i got i got everything you want you want this i already got it and i was it by chance my guy or a whole new guy did he say he was my guy no whole new guy whole new guy um there's a couple 50 patron feds trying to catch yeah yeah i was like no man i'm uh i'm watching my p's and q's over here i'm you know no no no infringement whatsoever i was like legal movies i wanted to watch the latest mandalorian i'm like oh i'll tap up my

guy and i'm like wait a minute i paid for this i'm'm going to watch it on Disney+. Apparently, HBO Max only has 8.5 million subscribers worldwide. That's it? You want to talk about their whole new theatrical plan for next year to pump up their sub-numbers? They become pissed.

Everyone is pissed. Everyone involved with those movies, because of the compensation that they're going to get for their movies going there, are pissed. Everyone involved with those movies, because of the compensation that they're going to get for their movies going there, are pissed. Everybody from Christopher Nolan... Christopher Nolan's quote was vicious. It was like...

He was talking about how all these people had no idea that all their hard work was going to end up on the worst streaming service in the world. Like, it's... But as a consumer, fuck them. I don't care. on the worst streaming service in the world. Like it's, I, but, but as a consumer,

fuck them. I don't care. I've got it. Some of our industry's biggest filmmakers and most important movie stars went to bed the night before thinking they were working for the greatest movie studio and woke up to find out they were working for the worst streaming service. Warner brothers had an incredible machine for getting a filmmaker's work out everywhere,

both in theaters and in the home. And they are dismantling it as we speak. They don't even understand what they're losing. Their decision makes no economic sense. And even the most casual Wall Street investor can see the difference between disruption and dysfunction. So, yeah, he's pretty much not be happy with it. So they invested so much in HBO Max. It has a fraction of the amount of subscribers as all these servers, other services that it's supposed to compete with.

Right. So they're like, hmm hmm how do we pump our numbers here and they they thought that they could just put their big movies on there and people would sub but they're shafting all their filmmakers so i don't some of the filmmakers probably would have been okay making a streaming movie on a lower budget but like was it our aronofsky was the name made dune for this big theatrical art film release and it's going to be people watch and they're just going to straight to streaming. There'll be no hype, no critical review.

Let me be devil's advocate here, right? It used to be people bought CDs, right? You know, old school CDs, they put them in their car or whatever. And people would spend probably $60,

40 to $60 a year on CDs. And then that became an old thing that got replaced by iTunes and eventually Spotify. Now people have $120 music budgets. People spend $10 a month on Spotify or in my case, $20 for a family plan. People spend more on music because of a streaming service than they did back in the CD realm. Flipping back to the movies. Christopher Nolan's all upset

that people aren't going to buy his movie individually by going to the theater. But he might find that the entire movie industry is buoyed by this, is raised as people jump into streaming services like HBO Max. And now people who previously spent $40 a year on CDs or movies now spend $120 or $240 a year on the streaming version of it instead. It could fix this industry.

I agree with you in that sense, but it's still unfair to the artist. If Christopher Nolan knew he was making an HBO Max movie, he'd probably be fine with that. But he had very different expectations for his film. He also wouldn't make an HBO Max movie, he'd probably be fine with that. But he had very different expectations for his film. He also wouldn't make an HBO Max movie. Yeah, well, we know that. But, you know, fantasy land here. Yeah.

If it were up to him, his movies would only be shown in 70 millimeter. Or maybe he'd make it and he'd just redo the contract in a different way. Right. Looping back to the beginning, I know you hate Keanu and think he's a terrible person, but Bill and Bill's Excellent Adventure was one of the first big profitable movies that came out on streaming.

They financed it primarily independently, so it was pretty cheap. They released it. It made like $40 million in streaming revenue, so Keanu and Alex Winter were super happy with that. That sounds great, but but they no one was as happy as alex winter let's be real keanu was keanu went cool and alex went alex winter threw a fucking party all right everybody was invited like like so i guess is the other one he's yeah which illustrates your point i get it right yeah okay i don't know what his share well i mean shit keanu didn't age that well either everybody's like oh look at keanu he's

immortal and it's like is he though we watched him for a watch party on johnny mnemonic and the aging is pretty noticeable from that film am i the only one that thinks keanu's hair does not flatter him his hair and that beard he's trying to grow. Yeah, you're alone there. I like the beard and the hair. Yeah, I think both look great. It's not a traditional beard, but it looks good on him. Why don't you box Keanu?

That'd be amazing. He'd probably lose, though. That guy's trained. I certainly don't want to shoot against him. Jesus. Keanu, I'm going to break your orbital bones. I'm going to put you, and then I'm going to do whatever I want to you, Keanu. You box him. Why's it got to be me all the time? Drifter versus Keanu, death match. Let's go.

You're the tough guy here. You're the one always calling out fans. I mean, poor Dirty was just over there drinking Diet Pepsi, minding his own business. This is the opposite of true. I don't like platform shoes and stuff. Woody's been picking on Dirty for weeks. That for weeks that dirty mess dirty didn't even say anything that is that's so not i'm like it's sort of the opposite that's why i'm saying i know like that i i like the message you couldn't find to scroll up for whatever how like i'm dead serious i'm doing this i'm doing that like i'm like where is this coming from i haven't spoken to the guy quite some time like since the hangout a week ago you've instigated most of this a long time a week ago

and kyle has not been all night giving drifter false information about only as much as possible only as much as i possibly can yeah wait have you been provoking him provoking who dirty no no he's doing this of his own volition i like i'm being 100 straight straight up and honest here like i just like peeped on the discord last night to see what the boys have been up to and it's just like him calling you out. And I'm just like, what is he doing? I wish I could find exactly what he said. And no matter how much every other person in the call will be like, Woody is going to beat the shit out of you, you fucking retard.

He's just, no, I'm going to kick his ass. And we were talking. I was playing. He was in the same call last night. I was playing someone else in Magic the Gathering. And he was talking about how serious he is. I'm like, I'm dead serious. I'm 100% serious. I start training next week, and it was like, wait, you're 100% serious,

and this will be the first time you've ever picked up or put on a glove or done any kind of fighting. It's like you give yourself a year, and you're still not going to win. I remember when I started, no one knew joined after me right so like i joined this gym it was brazilian jiu-jitsu i'm talking about and uh i didn't win a role for like nine months everybody kicked my ass non-stop because there was no one newer like i just i joined and then I was the last guy to join for a while. Dirty, welcome to the show, baby. You were about to get your ass kicked.

You will have entered the field with me having never won. I have his full quote here of what he said last night. This is 1238 in the morning, late last night. At Woody's Gamer Tag. This is dirty, all caps. Everyone is having doubt about me being serious about us boxing, and I want to make it clear for the record that I am being dead serious. I have already started weight training, more of the same, and started boxing classes.

I am ordering 12-ounce gloves and some more training equipment. Also, to show you how serious I am, I wanted to let you know I am putting a pause on my Diet Pepsi consumption and going water only until the fight. Me too, I guess. That's pretty serious for him. You got to keep in mind, Diet Pepsi is a big part of his identity. Giving up his core identity for you.

This is dirty, right? That's a picture of dirty, yeah. Oh my gosh. He's a lean, Dirty, yeah. Oh my gosh. He's a lean, mean, fighting machine. Yeah! He looks like he's tooling up to go make

toys for the big man. He looks like a little muskrat. He's a muskrat. Very stoned. Very stoned in this picture those aren't christmas uh trees down there those are some other leaves look at those eyes he's barely able to focus on the camera why is he calling me out constantly like what because he thinks he can fuck you up i think he thinks that you're gonna fight him and like beat him a little bit. And it's going to be cute and funny.

And he's going to be the center of attention for a few minutes. And there'll be like videos. But what's going to happen is he's going to fight you and start losing. But yes, he's going according to plan. Woody's beating me up. This is going to be a great video. And then it's just going to go blank. And he's going to wake up like three weeks later in a hospital with some teeth missing.

Doctors saying, hey, man, we have some bad news. We don't know if you'll ever be continent again he's doing it wrong right like if he wanted to fight and not get hurt he could ask for that i'd do it like it's fine but he's like attempted bullying me that's a suicide attempt then like doesn't have any reason to keep living and he wants to go out with a fucking bang? He wants you to put him down. If he's counting on my kindness, then he's just approaching it incorrectly. Dude, what are you thinking? I don't know.

I don't know. But this is my tormentor. I'm showing his picture on the thing. This is the man that's been picking on woody guys i don't think you grow a beard looking at this picture i see like a hint of peach fuzz on his upper lip what did you say drifter the people that can't grow beards i'm on a week of no shame over here i can't grow beards i found out oh god since the last time on the show i found out i don't have any testosterone oh no done like okay so it's actually not that long after the last

appearance on the show i started going crazy like cuckoo bananas crazy i would go a week without sleeping i would be hyper aggressive, paranoid. Uh, I had all sorts of weird behavioral problems that I barely just kept my shit together. Good enough to make a stream every day and make everybody think I was normal. I decided something's wrong. So I went to the doctor and we did the diagnosis and stuff. And I thought that they were going to tell me that I had bipolar disorder, you know, manic and depressive or whatever, because I had all the symptoms were there. And a friend of mine, J-Hub, told me, hey, man, check your testosterone just in case. And I told the doctor and I wanted some lab work. I want to make sure I didn't have like a brain tumor or something's driving me

crazy. And the testosterone, the doctor's like, well, that's really weird because low test usually results in, for the brevity of the show, beta male type symptoms, lower muscle mass, smaller body, really passive, low sex drive. I was the opposite. I was like, Mr. Energy, go all the time. Couldn't keep my dick in my pants, want to fight constantly. And I did it and I found out that I had the testosterone of a 90-year-old man. I had single digit testosterone numbers and my entire system was totally out of balance. You know what they were your teen it was like it's like somewhere between 9 and like 11 or 12 it was just

are you talking about free testosterone or total uh it was like measured in nanoliters or something i know that the average was like what 700 for men if i'm not mistaken but mine was like it was like way down there like all comical land so i just start taking clomid which is a fertility drug for women but it has a side effect of boosting testosterone in men so now i'm back to normal and all of the weird behavioral problems went away and i can think more clearly and i don't really weird thing and but i still can't grow a fucking beard i think i'm just too old for that. It's like, it might not ever put you on actual testosterone.

I didn't want it. Oh, why didn't, why would, what was the thought process there? It can cause cancer. It's bad for your health in the long run. And there was an alternative method that might've worked.

The pills don't have the same side effects that the injections do. And thankfully they worked for me. Okay. But really low T bad for cancer risks and shit it can be but it was really weird because usually you think like low muscle mass like really like small skinny guys i didn't really have that problem but i still had like basically no testosterone and you have no idea how much it pissed me the fuck off because my whole gaming career i've been told that i look like a woman very feminine no beard and you know after so

many years of that it got really annoying right you know you do have soft kissable lips i know kissable lips is yeah that one even with the clomid i'm still seeing it in the dark we can low testosterone in my in my head i just hear all of those comments and i'm like these fucking trolls were right god damn it right the whole time i can't let them know uh the only real difference is that i can now build muscle mass more easily and since i'm stuck at home all i do is work out yay fun nice cool so how long what period of time that you were just like zero t like i don't know it might have been my whole life for all i know i don't have a beer t levels did you get measured after the club yeah it was basic i don't remember the numbers it was they have the little bands that

show you the ranges of normal and mine were pretty much right in the middle so that's where they were supposed to be oh well that's you right. You don't take it now? Yeah. Are you on it for life? I was supposed to have quit last year or like some months ago, because what they want to do is retest and see if the levels have dropped. And I stopped taking. Then we retest and see if my system's restarted. It's going naturally.

But because of the Rona, I don't go anywhere. No dentist, no doctor. And if I'm not dying, I'm not going anywhere. I've got like three or four refills with no checkup or anything. When people do test cycles, they take something to kickstart their system, right? Like if you just inject testosterone, your own system can turn off. Cool. But then you can kickstart it when you're done injecting testosterone.

Is that Clomid that they take? Do you know? I know it's one of the couple of things i know it felt really weird when i googled it and it's like clomid helped me make four babies and it's like all women yeah i think they use uh things like clomid and novadex for pct post-cycle therapy you know because your your body's testosterone shuts down from the exogenous testosterone that you've been injecting into your body it's like oh we've got plenty of that yeah yeah we had a patreon who who took testosterone or something and he bought the

post-cycle therapy at the same time and somehow i never thought of that like i was like that sounds wow because that was like a fear i would have like if i were to do t then i would shut down so he just bought what you need to kickstart it at the same time he bought the tea. It's a level of thinking ahead that really shouldn't be so amazing to me, yet it was. You should double up. So you went from

angry and depressed and manic depressed feeling to feeling good. You up that tea even more, you become an even better version of yourself right i don't know man i have a feeling i might i might just loop back around if it's on again to the other side yeah you can loop twice she's laying in bed right now while we record this going ah i want a completely emotionally

unstable man that can blow up at any time. That sounds lovely. So did your libido go even higher on the Clomid? No, it just stayed in a good spot. Okay. I thought you might say yes. All right. I don't know. That's cool, man.

Less in that regard. It could have gone down. It oddly could have gone up. It was abnormally high with no testosterone. I don't know why um but some guys just want to get it well plenty of women want to get it and they have low t oh true i mean look you probably had high estrogen and low testosterone i would imagine yeah did they say you had like weird estrogen levels were they surprised that you were always a man?

They're like, your transition physician should have taken care of this for you. I'm so sorry, ma'am. How have you been? It's weird. How many years? Huh? How many years have you been living like this, ma'am? I'm so sorry.

You're hitting me right in my feels. I've had fans tell me that I'm like a trans icon in the gaming space. Are you serious? It's great that you have a role model, but you know that's not really me. It's cool that you look up to me like that. The worst was I was doing a charity event. I had a guy

come sit down, turned out to be wanting to be trans. I'm trying to raise money for chairs like Gamers Forgiving. And the guy just dropped his whole life story on me about how inspirational I was about my sexuality and how I look trans. And it's great for gaming and how he wants to get his penis cut off, but he likes jerking off too much. And I'm sitting here and I'm like, I'm like on stream. Now you're hurting me in the feels. This is hitting kind of close, Drifter. I'm sitting here and i'm like i'm like on stream now you're hurting me in the fields this is hitting kind of close drifter and so hard i'm like yeah guys uh let's donate some money and uh

feed these children yeah man if i didn't like to beat my dick so much i would totally become trans like oh fucking shit like this is not the time for this i actually don't can't you be trans and keep your dick most do because this surgery is dangerous and not necessarily effective and not very aesthetically pleasing either if i might add i need to google this actually i'm what am i an amateur i need to bing this yeah yeah yeah it's it's it's it's a goddamn mess they haven't perfected that one yet. They're working on it. They're working on it.

They'll loop back. Yeah, Low Test was weird. That was a weird, weird time in my life. I did YouTube videos about it and stuff too to help encourage other men to go get checked. And thankfully, quite a few of my fans reached out to me and like, holy shit, I was having problems and I went and got checked and I didn't know it was this. So I did some good,

but at the same time, it's like the most embarrassing video you can make, uh, or close to it as a YouTube. I don't, I can't say that now. Too many YouTubers are touching kids these days. So,

uh, there you go. It's up there though. It's not an easy video. No, don't do that. That's very bad. Very,

very bad. Unless they're picking on you over and over and then you might have to lay hands on them I've seen some results yeah it's a shame they can't get it better it's a shame they can't get it better.

What a polite way to put it. I just looked, I was looking at some of, I just typed in Drifter Testosterone to see the videos you made. It said your first time shaving was at 30. Is that true? First time I did a serious shave, I used to shave like once every two months. I had one razor that lasted like a

decade and I could do a whop, whop, whop and done on all 10 hairs that would grow. Uh, but now I have to like once every three or four weeks, it gets a little bit peach fuzzy. Wow. Maybe you did just go through like your whole life up to that point. Like that's where you save money on toiletries for the rest of your life.

Do you have body hair? Like do you have chest hair? Uh, I do now. My left nipple has a shit ton of hair. This is so great.y catch you do you just like zoom in and put my nipple hair on stream for you guys not your right nipple actually let me check i don't know what your content stuff is i'm gonna step over to the side well i was gonna ask for this. If a trans man can show their chest on Twitch. Definitely the right nipple. Wait, so you said, oh, the right nipple has it.

And the left doesn't. Just a little bit over here. You know, this one's like a couple of free strands. This one is like trying to do like an 80s chest thing. Now I have a lightly haired chest. But as a teenager, I had these two fucking sunflowers that it's the cool hair pattern is like this the middle right if you're gonna get it is that what you have kyle it is that is like a strip like straight down the middle what i have now is like everywhere

i bet you do what i have now is fine but what i had as a teenager was just the two fucking sunflowers and it was the worst you didn't shave them i what i did is i um i shortened i felt like you know what i thought that the worst like if i were to stack rank the worst thing you could have would be stubble because that like to me like exposes that you're shaving it and it doesn't look right and stuff. Sure. And then the second worst was the actual sunflowers themselves. And then what I went with was just trim them down. Make them less noticeable, short, but not stubble.

Okay. So it looked a little better. Yeah. I remember when I started getting chest hair, I was much younger. They all came in in the nipple area at first and then like have you ever seen the beginning of lord of the rings where it shows how the orcs begin to conquer the free peoples of middle earth and there's that outspread that it was so fast that just like spread to to the rest of my chest i remember at one point i had like i was getting closer to like more of a full chest of hair, but my nipples were still like,

they had the most hair around them in that region. And so I like took a like razor and like shaved around my nipples and like looked in the mirror and it was like two, two nipples on hair Island in the mirror. And I was like, I can thank God it is December. I can never do this again. By the time those grew and it was like all

right there's enough chest hair everywhere now that nothing's sticking out taylor tells this puberty story that i can't relate to he's like puberty you know how it is it hits you like a ton of bricks i went from boy to man over the summer no no no my puberty trickled in over a long period of time my my fucking like i. I had pubic hair on either. My head's a penis. They clumped in on the side and it took like a year to join in the middle.

Did I swear it was like a real time David Attenborough time lapse. You could see the hair growing. Like if you just would have put a camera on my chest or on my day. Yeah. Yeah. It hit me.

Kyle was more in the middle. It hit puberty, hit me like a fucking train. I remember I showed up to eighth grade, the beginning of eighth grade after not seeing, you know how showing up beginning of whatever grade it is. You see your friends, but you also see a bunch of people that you're friendly with, but you're not friends enough.

So you just didn't see him for the three and a half months, three months. And there's this Indian kid that I was that kind of friends with. And I show up there and I said in like my change voice like, hey, what's up, dude? How are you doing? He was like, damn, you lucked out with puberty. I'm still waiting. And like that was his takeaway. He was like, oh, man, you got hit by the bus. I'm really hoping and like that was his takeaway he was like oh man you

got hit by the bus i'm really hoping that bus comes swings by for me next so i can start sorry that never happened for you man he got all he got all the hair in the world not a lot more height very nice guy though haven't talked to him that very nice guy lots of people talking about him one of the nicest guys you've ever seen but um yeah puberty was a good time if i could do it again i wouldn't wait what i wouldn't i just i hear like the you know the downsides of being the guy who gets lots of puberty and it's like oh how rough it must be could you suddenly beat up the whole grade oh yeah there was no downside to it it was like oh nice i'm gonna get an edge in sports like against people who haven't gotten that edge yet.

It's rough to be the opposite because there's always that couple of guys in my high school. They would be like 17, 18 and still kind of look like 12 and 13-year-old boys. Like no puberty. So I was like that inside the baby face, right? But I was still like a big, tall guy.

But there were people be like guys like 5'3", baby face, slightly squeaky voice, 17 years old, brutal. face right but i was still like a big tall guy uh but there were people be like guys like five three baby face slightly squeaky voice 17 years old brutal brutal brutal all the girls are like oh he's so cute he's like my little brother and you could just see him fuming just like the bagel box yeah pretty much there was a kid at my school who had that same kind of problem and i think when he was like 16 or something they took him to a doctor because he was still like the size of an 11 12 year old he's really little and they did they didn't give him clomid the thing you had they gave him like actual testosterone injections to try and kickstart puberty and so he had to go to like multiple sessions until finally like

i guess it's like artificial insemination like it just catches sometimes and it's like artificial insemination. Like it just catches sometimes. And it's like, oh, the tea caught and it's beginning. And then like at 17, he like began a fast forwarded version of puberty. And like because it was like a delayed onset puberty, it's not like like he's far and away. He's way shorter and smaller than he would have been if he would have hit it at normal time. Because like it's not like your body just like saves up hormone. Like that's not a video game. Like if you don't kick off puberty when you're meant to like you're gonna like you're gonna be delayed in a lot of ways which sucks he did get to like a more normal height like he's you wouldn't stare at him in

a crowd or anything he's like five seven or so but yeah it's like his brothers and his dad are all like six foot or above and so it's like they he clearly got screwed out of like five inches of height there poor guy i would be so mad that sucks he'll never get a match on three he's not six five that's funny you're you're a tall guy aren't you you said uh six one i'd probably say yeah that is strange to like not have to shave no body hair really but you're still much taller than average skinnier side uh but i i wasn't like you'd stereotype like having like no muscle being like having like little girl arms and stuff like that no it's just like a kind of like a lanky wiry guy played sports and stuff never would have thought i had no inclination other than i like that really

no symptoms until much later in life. I just went crazy for like six months. It's so bizarre. You mentioned you're working out a ton. Do you have a home gym that you do? A sad little home gym. It's basically an empty room that I don't know what to put in. So I put in the only weights that are available on Amazon for less than $500 and a pull up bar.

on Amazon for less than $500 and a pull-up bar. I have a fucking Titanfall 2 collectible box that I slapped a computer monitor onto so I can plug my phone into it and play whatever on the TV and pretend I'm at the gym. So it's just like a shit ton of push-ups and sit-ups and all that kind of stuff, little dumbbell work. And I've been doing that since the beginning. I think it's paid off. I'm in much better shape than before. I don't really look much more handsome, but functionally better. Another thing is I totally fucked up my

spine last year, like almost couldn't walk and stuff, couldn't sit to game. And working out was like a big part of physical therapy. I think that the way one part genetics, people, the men in my family have weak fascia bones. There's a certain, it's the little hooks on your spine that keep it locked together. My family has them thin. I shattered them some years ago. No damage. And then a couple of years, I was sitting in a DX racer chair for a little bit too long. And the vertebra just slipped.

And I got a check. They found out that it was never really attached right to begin with so i was fucked up for like six months did you change chairs yeah oh this this baby right here this is a 1500 herman miller chair this is the same one that logitech the thing has been worth yeah a standing desk too you can see it moving up and down if i need it cool yeah as much anymore do you find that chair to be hot no okay well i mean all chairs are hot i mean i got big ass turkey thighs and i just sweat here when i'm gaming so those chairs are not hot that's uh that's i was looking at that

i like my chair of a herman miller ariana super like it i really really like it but it is old so uh i was thinking like should i get another one really like it, but it is old. So I was thinking like, should I get another one? Just like it? Or should I get the infusion? I don't know. I think going for the Embody is this is the Embody. And I think this is the best choice. The G one is the same thing as this, but more expensive. You can get this one for like 1200 bucks on Amazon, depending on the sales and stuff. I must have the name wrong. Okay. Yeah. I noticed they were this like, at first I thought it was an wrong. Okay, yeah, I'm embodied in. Yeah, and I noticed they were this, like at first I thought it was an all new thing,

but now I see it's a new, it's kind of rebranded. I don't know if the Logitech version might be the embody with every bell and whistle. Like there's options on chairs. You wouldn't think, no. Tell me what you know. There's a little, there's gel in the seat and there's a different fabric here

that's supposed to wick away sweat. I don't think Logitech was very happy with me because they sent me one of those chairs to review after like six months of telling me it was going to be a custom designed thing. So I got it, and I took it apart and compared the parts. And I'm like, guys, this is literally exactly the Embody with a different piece of fabric on it. And they're like, well, we disagree. I'm like, well, it's not going to be ethical for me to promote this if I can get it for $400 cheaper somewhere else, the same product.

And we had a pretty big breakdown of communication over that one. But no, it's the same thing. So disagree, like you disassembled it and said the parts were the same. I don't know. OK, OK. I don't think they were on the design team.

Essentially, what they did is licensed Herman Miller products. So it is a Herman Miller and body and the fabric like this gray stuff they put a different material on there that's supposed to be more esports but the base of the chair and the uh the crazy oh you can't see it there's like a goofy like fancy spine thing that doesn't work uh it's let me sorry it's the same and they i've had that like a desk like a standing like uplift desk like a logitech G1. And it's the exact same thing as the Herman Miller one.

And I probably shouldn't talk bad about one of the companies that sponsors me. But on that particular product line, we had a breakdown. All the others that my mouse and keyboards I love, but I just didn't I didn't feel right to recommend the chairs. Well, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I have the Arianne. I don't have any deals with anybody and uh and i really like it i just i bought mine as a refurb and the post in the middle in particular it seems like it's aging like it every couple of days i have to pull it up again it's like ah this just this dated that's. Always worth the money to have a good share, especially for your guys' position.

Yeah, if you spend a lot of time in it. It's like a bed, you know? Like you don't want to put money into it, but if you think about how often you use it, a good place to put your money. I bought a cyber bed. A cyber bed? I've never heard of that.

Basically a regular, you see the floating platform beds yeah it's basically that but you can hide some little leds under it so it looks like it's floating on like a beam of light like it's magic i honestly it's very very cheap it's basically a regular bed but with a very neat lighting effect it looks great when i'm watching movies that you kind of get like that theater lighting where you can still see around the room but it's really dim functions roughly as a nightlight silly cheap but i've enjoyed it quite a lot it's called a cyber bed i'm oh wait i call it here i'll find it i'll find a picture um is this it? No.

Something it basically looks like this. Actually, that's not even the best one. Where's a different one? Okay. It's where the legs are hidden. So it just looks like it's floating it's pretty cool okay this is almost exactly this is like a really cheap version but basically this is how it's constructed yeah yeah it would look if you took it apart it doesn't it's like such

a cheap like it wasn't even like a crazy big expense it was like just a few hundred dollars and it's just been awesome yeah I thought about doing that last time I bought an eBed but I was lazy it was worth it because you can turn your bed on and you

never stub your toe or anything on it because it's recessed but you can also see bed on and you never stub your toe or anything on it because it's recessed. But you can also see around the room, nice mood lighting, stuff like that. Yeah, I like that. This other guy's, he really did cheap out. Like I can do my fours with like drywall screws. He didn't want to maybe put something over that. That was ours. We bought ours from Facebook. Some guy said he could build it for like really cheap. So sure. And he built

the biggest, steamingest pile. So my wife is very crafty. She likes building things. So she took little bits of it apart and like resanded and repainted and reshaped and redid everything to meet her standards standards which drove me crazy because that meant i also did it but the end result was great hmm yeah i don't know i might be time for a new bed for me oh yeah i'm actually in my i'm in my bedroom now my air conditioning went out a couple weeks ago so i've been hiding in here but it's winter now so i don't i don't need the air conditioning. I'm going to move back to the office probably this week.

We're doing the show early this week for those listeners who haven't realized yet. I'll have extra time this week to move things around, get back in my office. Nice big heart-shaped bed that rotates. Mirrors on the ceiling.

That would be awful. That would be hideous that'd be great no i got a casper mattress last time because they were sponsoring us i'll probably get something similar i really like the mattress but i think it might be time for a whole new thing i don't know it's been four years five years something like that that's numbers man you got to keep a mattress for like 30 years and then try to sell it for what you bought it for who sells mattresses you should look at craigslist facebook marketplace man that's that what is what is a worse used by than a mattress uh condom don't say condom speedo uh because Belle Delphine is selling the condom

That she's going to use in her porno this month And that thing is going to go for more Than what my new bed will cost How much do you figure the condom is going to go for? I would bet Less than $1,000 More than $500 I'm going to bet over $1,000

I bet there is some gross, dirty little simp out there that is just ready to throw money at that. Somebody's sitting on the bell. The bell Delphine used condom. Definitely over a thousand. Some, all it takes is one weirdo, man.

That's all it takes. And I bet I can imagine a few weirdos getting in a weird bidding war. If that's how it's going to be structured, but you, you find them market. Curry crowd. And they're like, I bet I can imagine a few weirdos getting in a weird bidding war if that's how it's going to be structured. But the condom – You market it to the kukkery crowd and they're like – it's like kukkering by proxy. Oh, they're going to spend all their money on that. Maybe I misunderstand simping. Maybe I don't do it right.

But I feel like the condom is a tribute to the dude. Wouldn't the underwear sell better, like a Belle Delphine? Yeah, but the condom has been an impossible. I'm sure it'll all be for sale. I hear you. I just don't see much value in the condom unless I'm a big fan of the guy. Also, have you, I mean, we're all adults. We've had sex with condoms, tied up the condom,

and then just thrown it off the side of your bed, sometimes between the wall and your bed and i remember i remember when i moved from my old apartment i like i moved my bed back and there was just just a gross yeah exactly just a gross bunch of nonsense and so a used condom sitting there getting old that's not going to be a collector's edition forever all right so speak so since you brought it up i'm going to tell so um first of all lock and load um i think derrick told me it should be done by uh end of january 100 we've been working on the labels for a while that took a bit but right now derrick is putting the final touches on the formula i would imagine and um i'm hoping i

haven't gotten confirmation on this that we'll be able to take pre-sales soon-ish don't don't quote me on that maybe this year little pie in the sky but fingers crossed um so i have been taking my own formulation of lock and load for several months now drifter may not know what lock and load is i'm looking for context clues so i don't seem completely ignorant lock and load is a formula that taylor I have put together with the help of Derek to some extent. He had some good ideas to increase semen volume.

Not fertility, but semen volume. This is for bigger loads. We're going to increase the size of your ejaculate. He said semen, but it's not just that. It's the whole seminal fluid. There should be more pumps. There should be more pumps. There should be more volume.

Further distance. Further distance. This is the steroid for your cum. So if you look online, you'll find that the average male ejaculate is somewhere between 1.5 milliliters and 5 milliliters. Okay? Okay. Now, I wanted to know how effective has the product been? So what I did was, um, I didn't wait days between masturbation or ejaculation. Um, but, but last

night, uh, actually today, technically this morning, very early in the AM hours, I, uh, I pleasured myself into a condom, tied it off into a knot as Taylor suggested, and then I had some syringes. So I drew out the semen from the condom with these three milliliter syringes because I thought this will be the perfect way to get an exact measure because then you can you know aerate the syringe you can like pump the air back out and you can find it you can get exact because how are you going to come into like a graduated cylinder exactly and if you use a funnel then you're losing some volume into the funnel but I was trying to measure

it I put it into the receptor and then she spit it out. It was half saliva. You're getting saliva. Right. There's no way to do it without the, what I did is the perfect way to do this. Yes. With a condom. I finished into the condom. I finished into the condom.

I put the condom on in the last, like the last stretch of the race. Yeah. All right. You said one normals, one to one and a 1 to 1.5? 1.5 to 5 milliliters. Pretty big range.

I'm going to guess... The maximum range listed if you Google it is 5. Did you get 7.5? I'm going to say that he got 20. Jesus Christ. You always ruin things like this. You always ruin things like this.

And this is how you do it. This is how you do it. This is how you ruin things. Somebody will be like, guess how much I squat? And he'll be like, I don't know, 8,000 pounds? No, not 8,000. Guess how fast my car is? I don't know, 500 miles per hour?

One second. Oh, dude, there's nothing funnier than the guessing too much 200 000 dollars what's your number kyle would you 8.3 milliliters 8.3 milliliters now doubling up on the even most virile of normal men. That was without saving up. I'm going to try to control myself for the next couple of days. We're going to see if we can... 24 hours. We're going to try to hit double digits. Hear me out on this one,

okay? 10 hours. You're still on patrol. Not patrol. Parole, right? Right. Now, for some random reason, your parole officer stops by or you get checked and they're like, hey, what are all these syringes with this white stuff taste it is there a component in lock and load for taste because that had been discussed during the formulation that's gonna have to be a separate product it's there's there's there's so many things in lock and load right now that i'm worried at some point

the price is going to get a little bit ridiculous but there are a lot of the pill was another concern we talked it could not be one pill like i actually haven't discussed this with derek but there's no fucking way this is one pill because just one component there are multiple components of lock and load that require multiple pills but like hold on i don't understand why it can't be one pill it seems like you could just get the ratios right and say the dose for this is two pills or three, but you know the same pill. Because it would be ten pills. And you would be combining

liquids and solids into a pill. Now that's a sticker. Okay, okay. Yeah, because if it hypothetically been like a powder or something, you know, or a bunch of ground-ups, whatevers, then it seems like you could just get the ratios right and take as many pills as it needed to be.

Perhaps. But I think what we're going, I don't know. I haven't had a lock and load cocktail. This is fantastic. It will unlock and load. Say again, please. Dose on this medication. Well, there will be a recommended dosage. Your sexual partner can. She can drown. Just like

somebody it's more effective on, and they just blow a whole bottle at once. But it's more like pissing. It's just like white liquid just whoosh. Well, ideally, it'll still follow the mechanics of the normal jism you know it'll just be a lot

more of it ideally so don't I hope this link works don't show this link Woody this is pornographic yeah yeah this is this is a this is what we're heading for so we're good great quality this is

the goal there's volume on this Okay. Great quality. This is the goal. There's volume on this. The volume actually might be fun. He took all of those little fucking drizzle packets from a toaster strudel and just He's still going. He's still going.

Look at her. She's just like oh god you really couldn't breathe it's like trying to breathe on this so she can't she doesn't know what room she's in this is fake right yeah it's fake i uh yeah better special effects than the mandalorian in that porn right oh boo i'm the only one mandalorian talk again sometimes i watch and i'm like this is pretty cool this is maybe even what i want right because it looks it's somehow a realistic star wars right like when i watch the movie there's maybe a little too much lens, a little too much cinema effect that almost makes it seem like this isn't real, this is a movie. When I watch Mandalorian, it looks like children playing in the rocks being videoed on a cell phone. And I'm like, on some level, it looks cheap and pedestrian. On another level, it's like, well well but it's not cinematic and there's

not lens flares everywhere it looks real and i i go back and forth from time to time so it's not just you i agree the mandalorian is more grounded which i think even though the original couple of films were fantasy they're especially the first one there was sort of a real element to it out there in the desert the mandalorian has that whereas especially the newer movies are like we're riding on the cg ship to the cg fight with the cg animals and check it out our lightsabers have rtx and yeah no mandalorian's great it's a little more cheap though i think the special effects look great i i'll say this anytime the environment is bigger than a room it's the desert this place is so clearly filmed in like southern california that any they're always just like jumping around on rock hills in southern california it doesn't seem i don't think it is they go from i thought

i thought it was filmed in like it is filmed in california huh um i i don't know that's been the same thing for like 50 years at this point i think i associate southern california with space okay it just looks too standard to me i don't know i don't have the vocabulary to really pin down why the mandato mandalorian like is this just what real space cowboys look like real real space cowboys right right you know i don't know exactly what real space cowboys are supposed to look like but this looks like pedestrian to me like like an a thing that an eighth grader who was really into video would would put together and then on the other hand it's like right but if you go too far in the other direction then it looks like it's not real anymore it's it's a movie you're watching and i don't know what i want

from it but sometimes their costumes the way they move it all just looks fake no because it is fake and you're you're being ridiculous you just got gotta relax and enjoy it hmm you're like the kid that pulls at santa claus's beard maybe you're right i don't i i can't describe why mandalorian always seems to just uncanny valley target but never the bullseye it's uncanny valley it's not so bad that it's like funny or you know it's silly but it's also also not movie quality. So it kind of falls in the middle somewhere that you may not be comfortable with. That could be. That could be.

Oh, speaking of Santa Claus, I watched the movie that Taylor recommended and The Fat Man with Mel Gibson. Any good? It was okay. It wasn't great, but it's not awful. It was kind of, what I really appreciated about it is at no point

did they like wink at the audience and say oh it's kind of silly that santa claus is being played by mel gibson uh and it's kind of a badass it's funny right they didn't do that they were just like yes santa claus is a badass and he's played by mel gibson deal with it how long was that movie it felt long it was like an hour and 40 minutes i think is that it so thinking ahead so i don't spoil fat man too much in my opinion there was a lot of setup and i enjoyed the last scene or two um but to get there was just it was tread was a trudgulous it was a a drudge treacherous it was a treacherous it was filled with treacherosity no to get there was hard it was a pain it was like walking through mud and and i was just like oh i can't i would pause it build up my enthusiasm to get back. Like, pull me back in, coach.

I can watch some more. And then watch some more. And then at the end, I actually liked the way it wrapped. I liked it. I liked a lot about it. I would have liked all of the same characters in a slightly better movie. You know what I mean? Like,

like I like, I like everything about it except for like some of the scenes just could have been better. And some of the scenes could have been replaced with just better scenes. Like I just didn't care about those military guys. And yeah. When, when Walter Goggins stops at the pet store,

I was like, Oh, something interesting is going to happen here. And it's like, nah, he's going to buy a hamster, a hamster wheel. That's what he's here for.

And there were some scenes that didn't make any sense to me that they were even in the movie. But on the whole, I liked it more than I disliked it. I guess I'd give it like a 5 out of 10. But my scale is kind of mean. So movies that most people like end up being fours and there there's there's only like three tens ever so like you know i give it a five i'd like to that i was watching it but it's not a like it's not a movie that'll pop in my head as a rewatch kind of movie no i don't rewatch many things uh unless i really really like them

or i feel like there's you know more to be found there that I didn't catch the first time. I have been on a kick of watching movies that I haven't seen since I was a child to kind of see how they hold up. My wife and I have been watching some older movies. Mostly bad. Some of them have been amazing. I'm going to throw a random one your way. Predator 2. How much do you remember about Predator 2?

Everything. That movie was batshit crazy from start to finish. random one your way predator 2 how much do you remember about predator 2 everything that movie was batshit crazy from start to finish and i enjoyed it more as an adult than a child for some reason like it just it just started with like a giant gunfight in the middle of los angeles that went for like 20 minutes haitian drug lords get skinned then there's a voodoo guy and fucking subway fight and just like it was almost like watching robocop we had a lot of fun with that one or jack frost do you remember jack frost the scary one yes it was hilarious i love that so much better than the family film oh it's about a killer snowman alan

becomes a snowman no i think predator 2 is uh is a top five i mean predator 1 is a top five. I mean, Predator 1 is a top five all-time action movie for me. Carl Weathers and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, what? He's in The Mandalorian. He directed Episodes. Yeah, I'm still

out there doing action. Yeah, fucking Apollo Creed, getting it done. But Predator 2 is not as good it's got a decent cast they were trying to get arnold back and he wanted a little bit more money than they were willing to pay it's a shame they didn't get arnold in there it could have been a much better movie not that i didn't like danny glover but just like arnold beats danny glover easily easily i think the only the the downside toator 2 is it didn't have a theme. The first one was this very classic hunter gets hunted, starts hunting the big predator kind of,

you know, cycle of life thing. Predator 2 tried to do this urban jungle kind of thing, but it ultimately came off as the city is crazy and that's kind of it. And it just, yeah, it seems start to finish. You know, the predator is supposedly attracted to areas where there's strife and where they're, the temperatures are hot. So it kind of made sense to, you know, Los Angeles during a gang war,

during a heat, uh, a heat, um, spike future Los Angeles of 1999. There are gunfights on the street every day. Yeah. Um, so, so there's parts I like about it. I really like... Who's the character who

he plays like the government agent who's trying to... Gary Busey. Also known for playing the Ginger Dead Man. Gary Busey. He has had one of the most interesting careers in all of Hollywood. For those who don't know, he was an amazing actor, very strong character actor. But then I want to say it was a motorcycle accident. He had wear your helmet kids. Cause Gary Busey nearly died.

He cracked his skull open, got severe brain damage and they kept casting him despite that. And it became, it is clear that when you see Gary Busey in a movie post motorcycle accident, that you're dealing with a mentally impaired man who is just being given the reins to a film because he used to be great. It's scary. Constructed most of the left side of his

face. He has very limited control over the movement of it. You can tell. Do you remember that Comedy Central series he had? There was a Comedy Central series. Yeah, it was like some kid was a super big Gary Busey fan, so they let him be Gary Busey's intern, and Gary just tortured him with all sorts of

bizarre requests and pranks. I don't think it lasted a couple episodes it's super crazy i remember that dude's been in so many weird movies he played a dog that was in love or something or an angel dog but he was just a man standing there like licking the grass and stuff and he played the ginger dead man which is a gingerbread man that comes back from the dead and murders people and they kept casting him right but they realized he couldn't do his old acting so they just kept casting him in crazier and crazier and crazier roles and he just never said no yeah you look up gary bucey and it's it's like a it's like a downward spiral

to the bottom but he doesn't seem to give a fuck he doesn't care at all every time yeah i just clicked on a video of just to see what he's up to on youtube. And it starts like a TMZ video of them walking up to accost him and he's turned around, kind of slumped over. And he just looks like a vagabond. And then they're like, Mr. Busey! And he turns around with that crazy man's face. Starts talking about quarantine.

Yeah, that's... That must be terrible. That must be almost like someone dying in your family for someone to like have that level of brain damage you know let's say they're not even the same person anymore his son looks a lot like him is also an actor you were talking about that reality show he had there was a time period where reality shows were good like where mtv even had good reality shows before they became super scripted and very safe. One of my

favorite reality shows of all time, one season, Breaking Bonaduce. You ever see this shit? I think I remember that. Danny Bonaduce and... What did they do to him? It's his family. It's just him and his family. He's going through a crisis.

Not pumped up for tv it just so happened that danny bonaduce agreed to do a reality show and when the camera showed up his life actually had begun to fall a fucking part and so he's like downing entire bottles of absolute vodka like at once like like like think shoenice levels of drinking like like there's a scene where he literally guzzles down a bottle of absolute vodka a small one to be fair but he's he's drinking 30 ounces of absolute vodka or something like that and then goes skateboarding into traffic to kill himself and the car narrowly misses him his wife is like leaving him and they're going through like couples therapy trying to pull it all together and he's uh he's on steroids and he's going into these rages like these steroid rages

fueled by alcohol as well and his life falling apart throughout i don't know 10 12 episodes of an actual reality show it's just there's never been a reality show like that there's a reason there was no second season it was wildly popular they tried to get a second season he's like no no it looked like an asshole and it's like you are an asshole that's why we want to watch jesus it was i need to watch this now it's worth going back to watch like i remember when it was coming out being just so taken with it just just just i didn't even know who danny devonny ducci was that's before my time i still don't know who he is devonny ducci was that's before my time i still don't know who he is was he on the partridge family or something yeah he was like

the star that he was like it was like um the michael jackson of the partridge family yeah yeah but you know by the time this reality show is being made and what i'm gonna call 2008 i'm just guessing that's about right yeah um he's you know he's a 45 year old man or so maybe maybe older he might have been a um a radio dj for a while i think that's what he was that's like that was kind of his second act career wise and i guess it was falling apart they did do two seasons it looks like but did they i googled it but okay personal life arrests oh that's usually good when you see that you know what else was here i liked a couple of the old ones um i always thought there was a difference between paris hilton and jessica

simpson i forget that jessica simpson what was called, but they both played really dumb blondes. And I always thought Jessica Simpson played it with a bit of a wink like, Oh, tuna's not chicken. It says chicken of the sea on it. You know, like, like that's,

that's how I interpreted what she was doing. Maybe I'm giving her too much credit. Paris Hilton seemed to legitimately not really understand the world around her. I think it was Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in The Simple Life. That's it. Yes. I watched that show. I saw that as a kid and I thought

these are the trashiest, stupidest, most embarrassing. And then you see Paris Hilton as an adult in some of the interviews and you realize that she's actually quite smart she runs her own big business and even i think she's a gamer if i'm not mistaken and all of that stuff was just totally fake i'd say she nailed that yeah she's pandering maybe everybody everybody's a gamer these days because it's yeah yeah well some people are yeah yeah henry henry cavill's true gamer. I've heard stories about him since

2005. Superman doesn't need to pander. I believe him, but when I see AOC playing Among Us, I'm like, yeah, I bet she's got a great GPU. I was a gamer before. She played Overwatch and League of Legends and stuff. She got up to, I want to say,

silver gold. It's the Thor face did she though like i'm having such a hard time believing i believe you like all right i'm wrong i don't know anything legends her her profile is public you can go look at the match history man it's all in the api i'm wrong that's why i don't think she was a super gamer that played every single day like we probably would but she definitely did game so maybe aoc does but i think that kyle's on to something with the idea that some of these gamers oh no it's like oh you meant mobile gamer you were talking about angry birds all this time that's why you're a gamer that's that's not the kind of gamer we're talking i don't want to watch any politician stream unless it is... Who's the oldest

person in Congress? Chuck Grassley? I want to see Chuck Grassley have to set up and run his own stream. That would be... When I picture old politician man face, I remember that guy has a very old face.

I'd actually love to see Trump stream and lose but win at the same time somehow it's i mean i'm calling the other team out for hacks yeah it's not fair he's fucking chinese offline and it does not stop it don young he was born in 1933 he is 86 years and 11 months young don young behind the keyboard let's see what he can do. You found Don Young is your answer. I found Diane Feinstein. How old is Feinstein?

Born in 1933. What was yours? Same age. Also 33, but he will be, he's 87 now, which makes sense. I get it. We're at the end of the year.

So this was in May. As of May, June. year. This was in May. As of May, June. His birthday's in June. This guy was June 9th, 1933. I'm trying to find her. There's so many dates in here of all the offices she's held.

She's on this June 22nd, 1933. He is like 12 days older or something like that maybe she's the oldest senator maybe i had googled wrong we gotta get ted cruz streaming that would be a fun one who would you like to see stream i think aoc is a pretty good choice but given that she's already done it who would be like a chick from haw Hawaii? Tulsi Gabbard. Tulsi Gabbard. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd like to see her play a body paint. I don't just, that'd be funny. Office. Tulsi Gabbard. I have no idea. I'm not in my heart. I'll never understand.

Nevermind. I shouldn't bad topic. The yeah. The, the body painting thing. I won't go go into that but like every time i see it i'm just like okay i showed it to my mom my mom was over a few months ago and i was i was you know she's older she's not with it she's not hip so i'm trying to like explain to her like what twitch is right like you know she understands youtube obviously at this point but like sure what twitch is because at the time i was watching like a lot

of uh warhammer content warhammer 2 and i was like it was like yeah i like to watch these people on twitch they play video games people watch them play video games they tip them they subscribe they pay a subscription fee they earn a very good living, some of these guys, just playing video games and do what they like and entertaining a fan base live. And she's like, oh, okay, this and that. And I'm just like, I'm showing all the categories. And one of them is just chatting maybe. And I'm like, this is the most popular category.

What game do they play? The same game women have been playing since the dawn of time, mother. Click the button. the same game women have been playing since the dawn of time mother and you know it's it's you know what it is and so uh i'm gonna click it right now and see who's dominating just chatting sometimes it's destiny yeah yeah it's not always what i just described just politics streams that is like that's where my brain goes to die. Oh yeah. I don't know. I think when you, one of the things that made Trump do so well is,

is I feel like, you know, not being scripted, being, going off script and just like speaking from what seemed like where his heart should be, you know, just,

just, just you're getting Trump. I think, I think we have a more, we're getting a more genuine, um, sense of who our president is right now than maybe ever before. And I'm not saying that's a good thing. It might actually be a bad thing because when you're making policy, because who Trump actually isn't great what i'm saying is it's genuine and uh and i think that that that that works with a lot of people so i wish more politicians would be like you know stream like i don't know be genuine and just like not give a shit what they're they're saying aoc's advice for social media she's like look if you if it's not you to crack jokes or use memes

or whatever don't go on twitter and try to be that person just be you just be yourself on twitter and that will go over pretty well and i think she's on to something there you know like she is herself trump is herself the people who do really well are themselves the people who don't do well are playing a character they think will be popular and politicians like, dude, you're brand new at this social media stuff. You suck at this.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that. The, uh, the race here in Georgia right now, the Senate runoff, which is kind of important to me because I do have hopes that there will

vote on that marijuana bill at some point. And it'd be nice if we had a couple of Dems coming out of Georgia, though, you know, I haven't done done enough research all i watch is the attack ads and i'm like oh man john ossoff guy hiding money for the communist chinese i don't know is it worth it like that's literally what the attack is also hiding money for the communist the other guy is so bad he didn't show up for the debate and john and they asked uh john ossoff like why do you think your opponent didn't show up for the debate tonight and he's like well he's probably afraid he'll incriminate himself and it's like because he's got so many like uh um so

the thing with purdue and actually the chick too is when they got say again leftler kelly leftler leftler thank you they um they're bothents, which means they're currently senators. Probably everyone knew that. And they got early COVID-19 information before everyone else did. And they made a bunch of stock trades to enrich themselves. I remember they shorted a bunch of stocks, didn't they? They shorted stocks or they left stocks that you could tell were going to be impacted. Maybe like vacation industry type stocks and uh it's pretty clear that you know they didn't tell you about the

upcoming problem we would have with this pandemic but they themselves were making investments to profit and how many people in this i'm sorry like how many how many like politicians got scooped up and the number is not huge it's like six or something i was gonna say one of them's from north carolina uh richard burr was big on it too but i remember correctly they they would later go they would like do all their stock trades in the morning and then go on tv that afternoon and say we've got the covid thing perfectly under control it's nothing to worry about it's all gonna blow over just fine and then like as soon as the cameras are off they're like dumping more stocks making trades in the case of richard

burr it was almost the opposite he had a uh really yeah he was making trades for himself and then he had a very private like donor meeting where he told them to make trades too but then he didn't tell like any broader population. And so anyway, maybe I'm in a bubble. I'm open to that concept, but I've been hearing about the Republicans and the trades they made a lot. Not so much. Yeah.

Chinese. I honestly don't care about that. It's like, it's like, you couldn't really cause a public panic. You probably were told not to, but you're sitting there looking at your portfolio. Like shit. Here for my grandchildren there's a lot of airlines in here there's a lot

carnival cruise lines huh we really we really went heavy into carnival last year huh mike yes sir we did um you know it looked like it was going to be a big vacation year with the global warming and i'll shh we don't call it that. Yeah. You know, with the climate change. Nope. Nope. Not that either. Well, you know, it's gonna be a warm year. There you go. It'll be a good vacation year. And yeah, I don't know. I don't I don't mind that. But then like the attack ads from the Republicans. Look, if I am your resident non allowed voter. So like it doesn't matter one way or another. But, like, if I were going to be swayed one way or another and do zero research and just watch attack ads, the Republicans' attack ads are great.

Dude, they're savage. Like, when they go after Raphael Warnack in Georgia, Raphael is running against Kelly Loeffler, who's the pretty blonde girl, if I'm not mistaken. Is it? I think. It's either Kelly. Raphael's the black guy. The black guy's running against Kelly Loeffler, who's the pretty blonde girl, if I'm not mistaken. Is it? I think. It's either Kelly. The black guy. The black guy is running against the blonde. Yes.

Uphill battle here in Georgia. And he's a reverend. He seems like a real nice guy to watch his ads. He's all about community. And he just seems really well-spoken. I know that's a racist thing that people say about black people. But I just mean him in particular. He really does. When I say well-spoken. I know that's a racist thing that people say about black people, but I just mean him in particular. He really does.

When I say well-spoken, I mean, like, he speaks to me well. Like, when I listen to him talk, he seems genuine. He knows his... But then I see the attack ad, and they tie him to Jeremiah Wright, and they play that old soundbite, not God bless America, God damn America! And, like, they play that three times in one attack ad about Raphael Warnack. And like by the end of it, I'm like, motherfucker. Why would you say God damn America?

Like I get we got some problems. We got some problems. God damn America. You're a preacher. You know, even like me. Do you remember when that clip got so big like 10 years ago 12 years ago whatever maybe 2008 and like you just have to know that like obama was looking at that clip of his pastor saying that being like you son of a bitch

you just made this so much harder for me absolutely needlessly you're stupid i'll just mind them muslim at this point christ i used to hear so much crap i was i was living in mississippi i used to hear that you know barack obama is a muslim plant that he's from indo-china and that he was trained by isis to become president and destroy america from the inside but when that preacher started saying whatever like the the people just ate it up they tore it up they're like it's not a real church it's a fake church it is that's a church to christianity the same thing that the uh what's the muslim brotherhood in the united states is to the muslims around the world that like it's really just a cabal where they train people it's a cult and just it was it was i

couldn't imagine being obama and just watching people savage my entire congregation as all secret terrorists i was watching so i watched the election i follow politics a lot and uh this time around the lincoln project people don't know the lincoln project it's a bunch of republicans but these are never trump republicans so they were making anti-trump ads uh through the entire election cycle. They're brutal. Super. I'm like, oh, my God.

I'm so glad they're on our team. What are we going to do when they switch back to Republican? How are we going to hit? Because they're just like they whisper in his ear and they tell these. I think some of it's true and some of it's not true, but it's all just brutal. And I'm like, this is what it's like to go against these guys. It is good that they were blue this time around. Yeah. It's scary stuff.

Like if I wouldn't want, I wouldn't want them to make an attack at about me. Well, some of that's true, but you got to understand the context. Yeah. The internet just tricked me out of my money. We both have enough time on the mic that we've said regrettable things.

Oh, God. You want to talk about context? So I had a series on my channel about racism in the South. Okay. I was raised in one of the, you would not believe, I could go hours about this place. My family personally knew Emmett Till and they were glad that he died And believed that he should have been tortured more And that's where I was raised So I made a video series about this

Your grandpa said that or something? Like your grandpa or someone? Emmett Till got brought up and he's like It wasn't harsh enough He knew him personally Not everyone's man The Emmett Till story? Who is this?

He's a black man who was lynched a long time ago i know and i say man i think he was like 13 or 14 yeah they beat him to death horribly uh they tortured him and drowned him black people are men too jesus christ what's wrong with you this is black boar the central figure in the civil rights movement he whistled supposedly he whistled at a white woman and the husband somebody else beat him savagely put razor wire around his neck poked his all right now we have the context okay emmett till whistled at her huh refused a closed casket burial so the whole community came and this horrible brutalized face was on newspapers a big civil rights thing my grandfather knew this man personally because he used to sell groceries to all the stores

and him until he worked at or at least frequented at one of these stores. So whenever it would come up on news or TV, little seven-year-old me would be sitting on grandpa's lap hearing about how he deserved it, how he was uppity, how they probably should have worked him over more, how I can't believe they hassled those people with a whole trial and just a whole bunch of stuff. And I was like, well, grandpa, if I whistled at a woman, should you hang me? And it was like, well, there's always a reason not to, but that was the environment. Right. And I did a whole video series about this kind of stuff. And in the video series, I use the N word quite a few times because I'm telling stories about like, when I grew up, we used to call blank, blank and just

you know what it would be. Some people that didn't like me took this like, I don't know, hour and a half, two hour series and trimmed out little bitty sentences of me telling stories and like string them together. And it's like in this and so

and so deserves to die and quite all my sponsors got emails like did you know that you have a secret clansman working for you spreading this racist ideology on the youtube channel just like play this clip of me just going in it over and over and over again i was that every single one of my sponsors was somehow already aware of that video and found the edit to be hilarious. I could have just like been just like industry canceled for that. I decided to pull it offline so that that doesn't happen again. I might put it back up sometime. But the point is that for a lot of people online, either side, left or right,

context doesn't matter. The context of a situation or what you're doing or what's in it doesn't matter. It's the same reason you can't read Mark Twain books in public school. And anything like that clip with the preacher, anything that he was saying, quoting a different person, making an example, playing a character, doesn't matter. You said those three words, they're going to play just constantly like it's your real, true, fundamental belief that you hate America. Yeah, that makes sense. I wish we could use the word

uppity. I like that word a lot. It doesn't have to be racist, does it? I feel like you can't use uppity anymore without it having a certain context. It's really racist these days. It'll circle around to where it's not even thought about that. I still use it. Yeah, and in that

I mean, I just wish that I could use it more. Yeah, towards black people. Yeah. Yeah. Specifically them. Specifically, that's what I want to be able to only uppity black people, so it's okay.

All right. All right. we're getting we're getting it's gone too far too far i was i was all leaving you on that island by yourself and then i thought my joke was funny enough yeah yeah i was like i was in my head i was like come to the docks. I miss you. I feel like you can call a woman uppity and get away with it. I mean, you can call a white person uppity and get away with it. Yeah, I do it all the time.

It's just not a very useful word for the most part. Maybe you'd call a kid. I was going to say a child maybe. I think dirty's being a little uppity. That's a good way for that word to be used. Dirty is acting uppity. I'm going to type a word into the chat

that I can't say anymore. It's an archaic word that I used to grow up with. But yeah. Oh, I want to take guesses. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know i know right you can't say that it's so weird cheap but that one's dunzo these days i feel like if you hit that a hard enough you can get away with it you just can't slip an e sound in there instead of early you know sorry i didn't get that. What was that, Drifter?

I stepped away from all that stuff like it's kryptonite. Having my sponsors sit down and review 10-year-old videos would make me maybe reevaluate the things. Just not care about context and the self-censor. Yeah. Hit us with an ad, Taylor. Yes. This episode of PGA is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Admit it. You think that cybercrime is something that happens to other people.

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is goat.com slash pka plus you'll also be supporting our show but you got to go right now before the sneakers that you want are gone when you go to goat.com slash pka spell g-o-a-t dot com slash pka for your 100 authentic sneakers verified every stitch every every atom i was in a twitch stream and the streamer said that he was a sneaker head and i was like all right level with me is goat like a good service or not and he and the chat confirm goat is good it's the greatest of all time. Sneaker site. That happens. Check those out. Drifter, you're muted. I don't know if you know that.

I muted when I typed earlier so that it didn't clickety-clack. I was going to say, this is like a very nice site. I'm doing price high to low and there are some super rare sneakers on here. Are you a sneaker guy? No, but I try to keep up and this is actually kind of impressive i didn't know such a thing existed yeah you did apparently fake sneakers are a problem in

the sneaker head community and familiar with that it helps you there so good stuff i had a thing oh taylor i ask you this because your vocabulary is huge. It will be whether you know this word or not. Do you know what immutable means? Immutable means like immutable characteristics, something that can't be taken away, right? Yeah, it's something that can't change. I was just wondering. And most people think it means something you can't silence.

But yeah. It would be unmutable. Drifter, you got to bounce, right? Yeah, it is time forutable. Drifter, you gotta, you gotta bounce, right? Yeah. It is time for me to go work on some other things here in the house. Uh, other projects. Unfortunately I did, I was not a responsible adult and my video content for tomorrow was not made yet. So I have to go do that. You're all good, man. Thank you very much for coming on. I'll thank you for inviting me. It's always fun to be here as a guest and I hope that you all have a fantastic rest of your show.

Yeah, you too, man. Thanks so much. Where can everybody find your stuff? Drifter? All right, just search Drifter. Wait, is he coming back? Might be. Oh, here we are. Oh, I was just going to say, shout out all your socials and everything, your channels. Slash Drifter. If you're interested in anything uh stream cod on twitch upload guides on youtube complain about the orange man on twitter it's all just slash drifter if you want

to see that stuff there it is awesome thanks man later man all right we gotta write something else in chat because this lady covered in cum is just getting obnoxious are you got an issue with the lady covered to come do you covered in fake cum covered in cum that we've discussed. It might be real cum, but they're just piping it through a hose. I prefer that. That's so much grosser. I know.

Right? Like they've been saving up old cum. Yeah. It's, it's old cum. It's refrigerated. It's cold cum. The only thing worse than a hot load of cum on your face is a cold load of

cum on your face. Like the only thing worse than a really cold public toilet seat is a really warm public toilet seat. I've asked that guy like a ship in the night. I'm surprised he's not still wiping. I hate that. Because then you're

committed to poop. You're not going anywhere. It's like you need to get up and wait for it to cool off. Like what? You need to blow it like it's a fucking hot pocket or something. Jesus Christ. That was fun. I enjoyed Drifter.

Yeah, I thought that was good too. There's some guests I just say that about and then after the show i'm like well that guy was a piece of shit huh but i just that is funny when you do that i hated him but no genuinely nice guy drifter i enjoyed him yeah i looked at his um while he was on the show i looked at his social blade stuff he's doing well i looked at his um while he was on the show i looked at his social blade stuff he's doing well i didn't realize how well he was doing but good uh if you happen to catch this part drifter congratulations on your success nice on youtube you checked yeah youtube still his main yeah i went to social blade i don't spend much time on social blade i know they do

twitch stuff but like i didn't see how to look i don't know oh you're playing uh you're playing last night and taylor and i played some zombies and the chat was saying that you wanted to come play with us and and and i was afraid to be like no he doesn't because last time i did that you like popped in you're like yes i do kyle so it's like maybe he does maybe not maybe he doesn't no one can know no one can know it's a it's agnostic i was like not, not even online. I was like, Woody, if you want to play, WhatsApp us. And then that was it. Everybody's like, he's over there right now.

Fuming. He's furious. He's over there. At some point, it's like there's no way he could be that mad about anything. There's no way. So two nights ago, I did the Waggish stream stream and that went really long i went till 4 a.m and then last night i took a day off so i was not fuming i wasn't asking to

play none of that was true uh i was if i if i had my days right yeah i was um i watched the mandalorian i watched you know that show big mouth on netflix do you guys know it at all yeah the puberty cartoon it seems a little feels like i'm watching child porn or something like just like that huh good stuff yeah like i i'm like am i am i allowed to watch this i feel like it gets you on a list or something i don't know yeah i mean like that the previews for that show like when it was coming out like on the other netflix like because it was it's netflix so they obviously give them all their little slot up there where when you open the app it starts auto playing like one of the previews for it was like a girl talking about getting her period and then she was just talking to a giant what is to be assumed to be anthropomorphic

13 year old pussy oh like yeah i think she's played by amy schumer she's a recurring character and uh i know what you mean it's like this well that's she's the by amy schumer she's a recurring character and uh what you mean it's like this well that's she's the perfect character to play a giant 13 year old pussy uh the the boys the girl all of it just like you'd think that i'd be i'm not sure what makes me more uncomfortable the boy puberty stuff for the girl puberty stuff yeah i just try not to watch the child porn cartoon and uh i think i'm the better all the better for it i'm four years into it at this point kyle i need to know what happens when these kids grow up they're not even the ripcord on shows you get one chance with me like um what was that that that bill burr cartoon

i gave him two seasons for family i gave you two seasons bill F is for family. I gave you two seasons, Bill. I like your shit, but this isn't funny. It's not well animated. You didn't focus on writing any good characters. Look at something like fucking King of the Hill. Name a good cartoon. It's nothing like those. There's no good characters in your cartoon. It's bad. It's a bad cartoon.

Yeah. You made like... It reminds me of Married with children except not funny yeah married with children was hilarious that's a good comparison it's like an unfunny animated married with children because i remember watching i haven't watched the most what how many seasons is he on now four i watched the first two and the first one i remember we probably talked about as it was coming out on the show like we were all excited about it like oh it's bill burr making a cartoon he's so fucking funny he's gonna knock coming out on the show. Like we were all excited about it. Like, Oh, it's Bill Burr making a cartoon. He's so fucking funny.

He's going to knock it out of the park. And then we watched the first season. It's like, okay. Like, I don't really remember any laugh out loud moments. It's a guy that's really just kind of depressingly hating his job and doesn't like his kids.

And his wife is desperate. Like, and then I was like, okay, well season two, maybe he was working the kinks out. Not at all. Like,

it's just, it's just not going to be a funny show. No. Gave up a long time ago. Letter like, okay, well, season two, maybe he was working the kinks out. Not at all. Like, it's just, it's just not going to be a funny show. No. Gave up a long time ago. Letter Kenny, however, watched all eight seasons in like two weeks. What's the, wow. I'm going to need a lot of handholding with this one. Really funny comedian got canceled.

Bald, redheaded dude. That's not Bill Burr. Fatter. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. made a TV show. Also incredibly not funny. he had the hello fellow kids guy i think he played his brother he owned a bar steve bashim yeah do you guys know this show

yes did you i watched you're right it wasn't very good at all i it's no if it wasn't good or if it just missed my expectations like it was somehow heavy and heavy is a kind of good it's just not the good i was looking for i think they're just like not trying to make a if i remember correctly that's not even on a network it's like one it's like a pay-per-view type thing like you got to subscribe to a service or something like that like go through louis ck's website or something like i yeah you go through louis ck website and you can pay any amount you want. I paid $5. That's it. And like $5 was the default. He's like, if you can pay 50, thank you. If you have to, if you can only pay one, pay one.

And when you think of like people who don't know, like you're watching this podcast for like 0.2 cents, right? Not two cents, but 0.2 cents. If 10 of you watch it, if you watch it 10 times, that's two pennies. Something like that and uh change ip addresses or it doesn't count i don't even know what's true or just become a patron you know one dollars five dollars so then you get pkn early but like you can see why louis ck is like pay a dollar because that like that dollar guy is well it's incalculable what how many people is that 50 people no 50 5 500 500 is it 500 500 yeah yeah so one guy who pays even

a dollar is like 500 youtube people it's uh um i can see why he tried that business model worth a lot yeah yeah i think he's done well using that business model especially with the cancel culture and he did it when he was really beloved right and i think that helps too you know i was like oh louis ck's doing a thing i can ship five dollars his way for a whole season it seemed like worth it to me yeah yeah but if you're not beloved maybe it's not as good a model it's also a popularity contest sort of thing yeah or if you're like i don't know if you're i think it could be good for for not being beloved too because like there are a lot of people who support louis ck and look at what happened to him is like a gross overreaction and just him getting caught up in cancel culture because

look it seemed like everything he did was consensual like like the only thing that i think you've ever had an issue with what, was the balance of power that you perceived between someone who was a star and someone who was just getting started in that business. So maybe if PewDiePie asks a YouTuber who's just getting started, hey, you Artified jerk went off right here, maybe they feel like they're in a position where they can't say no. But it paid off for me in the end that's how i got my start it did no yeah but no you're that's a man who could use lock and load that was pathetic dribbling down his thigh uh yeah yeah i think at the peak of cancel culture i had concerns and i felt like i knew what happened now i feel like i don't know what happened there are women who felt like they were powerless and got jerked off on but i wonder what kind of feedback they gave him that night did they feel powerless that night or did they feel powerless

like that in retrospect and he got all green lights that night you know because like that that's what happened uh fuck names who's the good indian actor from parks and rec he's funny aziz anzari aziz that is not what i was about to say ali rizari or something like that macaulay culkin so uh uh anyway uh uh anyway uh uh that guy got all green lights she blew him you know like he came and you know then she describes it later as some like terrible date and he was like shit i thought things went pretty well you know bust in your mouth like i thought we were both enjoying our day you swallowed we watched it's always sunny afterward so i always felt like like i don't know i just you never did bring my t-shirt back i'll go after you but uh yeah yeah unless you're there that night it's hard to really know like

that he said she said behind it. And in the cancel culture, it seems like defending yourself is a bad idea. And it's very confusing. You know what I'm really happy about? That woke culture isn't so ubiquitous yet that that female kicker got away with being awful at what she did and making a fool of herself in the halftime speech so vanderbilt had that that girl uh kick for them uh a couple weeks ago against mizzou we won 42 to nothing i think 42 to nothing mizzou stomped them it was 24 to nothing at halftime i want to believe uh and uh there was this part where like like leading up to it like like let me let me see what the title

this article is from the Bleacher Report. Is this the NFL's first female player? The answer is, fuck no. She's a soccer player. A good one at that, it would seem. Actually, no. I think I read that she's maybe a goalkeeper and that she was like one for five on saves or something like that. That could be wrong, though. That's the only part I'm not sure about with all this.

But they were down 24 to nothing. And the coach was really clearly going for a publicity stunt here, maybe trying to keep his job. He lost it, by the way. And he arranged for her to have a halftime interview with ESPN. And she's like, you know, I just don't know what the problem is. Nobody's out there cheering.

None of the boys are cheering. We've got a first down. We've got a first down, and I'm the only one over there cheering. I'm looking around. These guys got no team spirit. When we were playing in the soccer finals, we were all cheering all the time. And you're just like, okay. Well, when you come back out of your own special locker room, I assume,

you better kick the shit out of that ball. And then she, like, fucked up an onside kick, I want to say. He just goes home in, like, his, what is it, the Vanderbilt, like, Boilermakers or something, and his, like, hat and jersey being, like, watching the interview being like, fuck! man yeah that was bad i remember like people on twitter were trying to defend it like uh actually it was a tactical onside kick and like football people were like it was downed at the 38 if it was it was the worst onside kick she could have done. Watch, it goes right to the Mizzou guy.

He just picks it right up. I mean, I almost feel bad for her. Because it's like, you know when her head is up so big. And then to fail that badly. It would be like this, Taylor. If you were traveling and you just happened to be in boston and the bruins said oh god we need a goalkeeper how about that guy no he's sticking out like the guy with the head and then they started hyping you up for some reason like first cranial magnus and afflicted man will will serve

and will play in the nhl you know and and you were just like and you gave like a fucking speech before the game you're like you know i was talking to the boys over there no team spirit here in boston i gotta say now that i'm a bruin i'm gonna have to take these guys under my wing like you're just like all like if you gave a speech like that and then you went out there and like let in 10 goals in a period. No, dude, you're selling me 100%. You're right. I wasn't putting together the pieces of her saying at halftime,

these guys basically suck and they don't care and they just want the game to be over. No team spirit. No team spirit. It's like, yeah, maybe because they're getting hit by other men out there while you sit and watch. Like, maybe that's what's going on. You just know there was a collective groan from the Vanderbilt team

as she kicked and that happened. And I don't know what Vandy's record was for the year, but the fact that their head coach just got fired, I'm guessing they were 1-7 or something, 1-8 at that point of the year. But I did just check. And now Missouri in the college football playoff rankings, number 25. Dude, well congrats, man.

Missouri, NC State, and Georgia are all ranked right now. Clash of the Titans. We're very excited in Georgia. Worse than ever. Our teams storming up through the ranks. We're very excited in Georgia to be ranked while we watch Florida and Alabama play for the SEC championship game.

We're super psyched. Well, Georgia probably won't end up playing Missouri this year. I would hope not. That'd be kind of embarrassing to play you guys, no offense. I don't know. I heard a rumor that if Trump loses in georgia one more time he'll have to rename himself to university of georgia university of missouri i fucked up my joke i'm glad if he loses in georgia one more time he'll be calling himself missouri i mean but by

by sports analysis the florida absolutely deep dicked georg Georgia this year way worse than they beat Mizzou. So by sports math, you're a better – Yeah, sports math doesn't fucking work. It's true because by rankings and stats, Georgia's better. Georgia has a really good run game and a great defense, and somehow we struggled. How many – this is a hard question you might not know, but are you losing a lot as seniors into the pros? Oh, I don't know. Our recruiting classes are always incredibly strong though so like it's it's never

like oh this was our year to do it next year we're nothing it's it's always like well next year we got a great chance too it's like yeah we're gonna we're gonna get there eventually it's just i gave up you roll the dice enough times ranked get it they they won their game i think but their quarterback had a broken leg and he's out for the season. The backup was not as good. Somehow we haven't lost a game since. We're going to probably win next week too because our opponent's terrible. Any other sports stuff that you guys actually care about? What's going on in the world of basketball or whatever it is you guys watch?

I did get rescheduled. Mizzou plays Georgia on Saturday. Sick. What's the spread? We should make a bet. Let's see. First UGA. Does it say that on ESPN? Where do you see that?

Oh, wait. The spread. Georgia is minus 13. Moneyline, Georgia's minus 450. Minus 13. They say you'll be within two touchdowns. Well, I guess you're ranked. I mean, you're really good.

Yeah, see? I'll take that. I got five bucks. Says we beat you by 14. Okay. All right. Sports stuff you asked for it turns out that uh mayweather is fighting logan paul yeah so boxing i don't know it this is the silliest sport boxing but dude this guy paul

logan or jake paul i get him confused logan he's the big logan's the big one what a great gig like now it seems like the only time i hear about him and granted i don't follow his youtube or Logan or Jake Paul, I get them confused. Logan, he's the big one. What a great gig. Now it seems like the only time I hear about him, and granted, I don't follow his YouTube or anything, but these fights he does, these are huge. They blow up social media. His brother is trying to fight Conor McGregor, and he's about to fight Mayweather.

It's nuts how their self-promotion and their online presence has has gotten them here yeah it's so when you're a prize fighter the real marketability is that people want to see you fight that's what this is about people who want to watch you fight of course right it seems obvious usually people build a fan base by winning fights logan paul's never won a fight. I guess he had an exhibition or maybe the first

one was a draw. Maybe that's why. Whatever it is. His second fight, in fairness. Did you guys watch his second fight against KSI? Did not. In my mind Logan Paul clearly won. However he threw a punch while KSI

had his knee down, I think think which is hitting a downed opponent which is against the rules they docked him two points and he lost by one i think that's how that went now he lost right the scores are in these is his official loss on his record but to my eye he was bullying ksi in that fight but like on the the Woody. He's a dude. Yes. He's athletic too. He was a wrestler. He's easily got 60 pounds on Mayweather. I, it'll be interesting.

Probably more. I want to watch it. I, I don't know. You won't watch it. You won't even watch a gift. I walked. Yeah.

I watched the gift app. I watched the gift afterwards of just about anything, but I'm there's like, like just like the Yeah, I watched the GIF afterwards of just about anything. The only reason I watched the Mike Tyson fight, another benefit of being a $50 patron, is we all watched in a big group watch in there, and I didn't have to pay for it. And it was like, yeah. Oh, by the way, we never talked about that.

Tyson clearly won that, and they called it a draw. Do you know it was a draw before it happened, right? Likely. Oh, no. called it a draw do you know it was a draw before it happened right likely oh no it like so the only ways that was going to end is knockout and they weren't supposed to knock each other out it's an exhibition they said they would stop the fight if they threw punches that were too hard but that didn't happen they tried or the three make-believe celebrity judges declared a draw as they had agreed to do before the fight so i think like a lot of people didn't seem to know that like i did not yeah chael sonnen made

a video and i'm like doesn't he know like i read that it was a draw before the fight happened that they did it was pre-ordained like they didn't score that i didn't know that and none of the people i was watching with knew it either um we were we i caught i didn't watch like the first round or two i came in uh i was out and i came in a little bit late to it plus i didn't want to watch like whoever the prelims were jake paul or whoever probably but it looked to me like mike tyson was bullying him and it looked like uh he had way more cardio than Jones did. And then they called it a draw, and I was just like, wait, how? But boxing judges, I get that this has nothing to do with boxing judging.

This is just they agreed to tie, which doesn't even – I can't imagine if they had made that more well-known, I don't know why anyone would have watched. Like if they were like, watch Tyson have a draw with Roy Jones Jr. Tonight. That's right, folks. It's already been decided.

It's going to be a tie. They've agreed. Both opponents have agreed. Oh, and the judges, they've already written tie on their scorecard. Hold them up, judges.

Hold them up high for the camera. It's going to be a tie. All right, we're kicking off in 10 minutes it'll be 35.99 your credit card of choice no there's no way yeah i i can't i googled it i can't find that but i'm positive i knew it before the fight that it was a draw and that they agreed to it and it was one of the things that the fighters were like going back and forth about they didn't like you know they didn't like that it was an exhibition they didn't like that they were two minute rounds they didn't like that it was going

to be a draw like i remember this how i mean it seems like if the both fighters want it to be anything else they could just get it made right they couldn't get an athletic commission to sign off right right yeah so the two minute thing in particular they did that because they're in their 50s and uh but it turns out that women fight two minutes and men fight three and they're like we're men like this is insulting to us but i don't know i thought two minutes was about right i thought that like boxing i get excited as it arrives as it approaches i should say and then to watch it i get a little bored you know it's never everything boxing is garbage boxing is fucking garbage like like the fights are boring um i don't like to see

them take all that much brain damage because that's what they're taking just tons and tons of brain damage way more than in mixed martial arts and then the the judging is always so corrupt that it's it's it's going to be a frustrating end unless your guy gets a ko like this the only way you're going to enjoy a boxing match is if like i think that's why tyson was so fucking popular he'd come out and knock somebody the fuck out in the first round and then run off and say some crazy shit at the press conference what's not to love about that the last thing i want to see is two men dance around for 15 minutes tapping each other in the forehead and then some judges to lie to me because they're fucking corrupt it it's like that every goddamn

time when mayweather fought uh um conor mcgregor conor won a couple of rounds there like at least one and the not on the scorecards though and it's like well the fix was in from the start like what the fuck what the fuck was this oh wait didn't mayweather rented the building mayweather paid the judges like everybody there is working for mayweather so of course they're in his pocket how can people watch something that's that corrupt right right data white wants to do boxing with the whole pandemic thing he says struggling to make ufc profitable but he wanted to do boxing and i would like it if they would do boxing like they did mma take the best fighters make them fight each other if a guy loses his career is

not over we happily watch fighters with 7 8 13 losses on their record because they're interesting to watch i like watching them fight. And they're still really good. They just had some off nights. They're fighting the best competition out there. Right. I'm sure they could wheel someone in and I could get a 30-0 record

in boxing against some poor geriatric guy. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty. And, you know, but that's what they do in boxing. They beat all these people who don't have a Wikipedia page and they run up their record. And, yeah, it stinks.

It stinks. I wish they'd do it the UFC way. It might be the worst sport. I'd rather watch lacrosse. I'd rather watch a night of lacrosse than a night of boxing. I'd rather watch a night of MLS soccer. I'd rather watch women's volleyball. I'd watch a little women's volleyball if it was just on, though.

I subscribe to the women's volleyball subreddit. Yeah. Good God. Are there any ugly women who play beach volleyball? It's almost like you have to be like attractive and like like outgoing to even get on the volleyball team at like a low level i watch them i wouldn't know what their faces look like they have heads i didn't know women's volleyball just leaning forward and giving signals behind your pussy fuck me like i bet at some point some

like ugly ugly player was like, maybe we could go to swim shorts, wear trunks like the guys. And they just like all like blows were just raining down upon her immediately. We do that. You fucking idiot. We got to keep at least 8000 eyes nationally on the Olympics. Those girls wore cargo shorts and fucking like long sleeve t and like long sleeve t-shirts or something like that the ratings would plummet i hate it when

the mma girls do that sometimes the mma girls wear like something like a t-shirt what they should be fighting in is double sports brawl people don't watch women in the hottest outfit like ronda rousey used to wear a sports bra and then a sports bra over that is like a second layer of uh honesty titty protection yeah the titties will pop out with only one sports bra it could happen and they wear like booty shorts on the bottom you know it's not necessarily a bikini but it's booty shorts and that is to me is like the appropriate women's fighting attire when they show up in a full rash guard like a child wears at the pool yeah no that's sometimes you understand though there was some of them some of them i would prefer they wear the rash guard uh well i would still rather see what i'm mocking i didn't know enough okay i usually don't mock

but oh actually i do remember that picture i sent there was this one ufc night where the the chick looked like uh sid the sloth with her fucking cross eyes and i was just like i was like immediately sending it to woody like what the fuck he's like i know right she had one and she was looking at both corners simultaneously which sport has the best looking women oh gymnastics is way up there um you know i think it seems for some reason that pole vaulting like we're talking about olympic sports for some reason pole i think maybe you have to be like i don't know of course we're all biased with the Alice in Stokes effect. But actually, there are a lot of hot pole vaulters. My answers were surfing.

And surfing has a nice balance of really athletic women, but not manly yet. You can go too far. MMA maybe goes too far sometimes. And mountain climbing. Mountain climbing chicks. They're chicks, but they're super fit. A lot of belly button hair out there on the slopes. I don't know about that one. I hope. A lot of ab definition.

Core strength. I'm okay with ab definition. I just don't want pecs. It's all pull muscles. They're not pushing. Yeah, I think that if you do Olympic sports, there's a lot of them. And gymnastics, the gymnastics uniforms are pretty hot. Like when one of those chicks does a whole floor routine,

like her whole ass is showing by the time she gets to the other end of the mat. So that's always fun. Remember I was talking about you, like, hey, what if you lost a couple inches, but your muscles, do you got tanky? I feel like the women gymnastics are a little tanky to be a muscle model. It depends on which area of gymnastics right because like the girls who do uh the floor routine can often be a little thick like i think they've got to like have a real strong like lower body to do some of those like aerials but it seems like the

girls who do like uh the balance beam uh are often the opposite um you know they're they're more like ballet dancers in a way uh they have nice bodies the um the pole vaulters really do look great the runners not so much i think the but hurdles seems to be booty central uh it seems like it seems like they need a they need a lot of ass to get up and over um but if we're talking about regular sports and just move the olympics aside because frankly a lot of regular sports and just move the olympics aside because frankly a lot of that shit they do in the olympics shouldn't even be a sport i gotta imagine there's like slovakia is just paying somebody off so that some of these sports just stay in there because they've got the best fucking saw horse rider in the world or whatever the fuck they're doing this

year like like mma should be in the in the Olympics, like Khabib was saying the other day. You think? Way more than half of the track and field shit. How are they going to do, like, whatever, eight fights in that tournament? I guess you got to win without taking damage. You know, I mean, I bet everybody else is getting hurt. Except for the swimmers.

They're just getting a little tired. You know, there's not a lot of impact there, but, um, you know, just do it. Wrestling.

There's wrestling, you know, there's boxing, there's boxing. So like, why not? Yeah, I guess you're right.

I don't know that. I don't know. Anyone did. And it would be such a great story. Like, imagine if your guy, like, takes a ton of damage in, like, the second round. And, like, he's heading to that gold medal round. And you're like, oh, man, I don't know. The other guy, our guy's better, but he took so much damage.

Like, his left arm doesn't look like it's going to. Imagine this. 2021 Olympics, right? Let's say they move the Summer Olympics because of the pandemic. It happens in 2021. I don't know if that's true orlympics right let's say they move the summer olympics because the pandemic it happens in 2021 i don't know if that's true or not but let's work with it gsp might come back for a shot at a gold medal khabib might come back for a shot at a gold medal you know connor's gonna represent ireland like there's all of the living legends you know who's gonna represent england you think michael bisping would do a comeback maybe for gold like give it a go there's a chance he could win at 185 who's our guy who's our best

chance at winning an olympic gold medal um john john jones we have to hope he can continue to work his usada magic uh but john jones is the winningest fighter I can think of. There's got to be others. Who else do we have? We've got a bunch of champions. His hate for Jon Jones knows no bounds. Yeah, that's true. Just to reiterate, Jon Jones never lost a fight.

Matt Hamill beat him. The guy who played Anakin? Yeah, Luke Skywalker beat him. He wants to kill me. That's a completely different character. So we've got the heavyweight champ, Stipe Miokic. I think he would win.

He'd have to fight Jon Jones to do it, though. Oh, is there just one winner? It's not by weight class. Well, you get, well, it depends what weight class John Jones wants to compete in. Right.

True, true, true. Um, John Jones should compete in both. You should wait to a five and see if you can get a pair of golds. I'll go Michael Phelps on this thing. Oh,

that'd be so sick. Yeah. I wish they put MMA in the Olympics. Like, like I, I don't care about the format, figure it out. Like,

like do a test run in 2021, maybe in, uh i i don't care about the format figure it out like like do a test run in 2021 maybe in uh i don't know when the next olympics is if they do it three years later or four years later and now we're offset no they wouldn't do that because we've skipped we've moved the olympics before i believe like in times of war in any case i'd like to see in the olympics but back to the hottest women in sports if we're talking about like actual sports not like if we're not going to include javelin and shot put and fucking hammer throw and nonsense like that, because those aren't real sports.

They're just not real fucking sports. Let's be real. It's a sport. When's the last time you went out to the hammer throw course and lobbed a few hammers with the boys? I would argue that a measurable sport like hammer throw is more of a sport than something like gymnastics, which is

interpreted. I still see a hammer throw as more of a competition than a sport. I'm not sure gymnastics is a sport either, frankly, but I have no problem with it because they don't wear much. And they're not very old. what are the

qualifications for a sport you have to be able to get hurt i like for me guy yeah look i i think a lot of things can be a sport but the the things that that i consider like the core sports are usually involve a fucking ball man you know like i'm not sure swimming is necessarily a sport like like you can only compete because there's time there's there's a stopwatch um i don't know i like when there's a score to be had like like water polo is a sport yeah but but i don't know that throwing a fucking javelin even applies to anything anymore like when they invented the olympics we were still throwing javelins and warfare it made sense like it's like a sport my favorite sports are the ones where there's like clear winners and losers uh the purest sports are 1v1 to me like wrestling swimming like where there's not a team

to hide behind like football to me is somehow less pure certainly a sport i'm not saying it's not a team to hide behind like football to me is somehow less pure certainly a sport i'm not saying it's not a sport but you know whose fault is it you lost that game well no one person's fault typically i would argue that that that they're better competitions like because like you said there is something to be said about a team sport versus an individual sport like like if we're if we're just said about a team sport versus an individual sport. Like, like if we're, if we're just going to run a mile and see who's the fastest in the world,

that's on one guy's shoulders. It doesn't matter how good his defense is or if, if his special teams is going to be good that day. So it is different. I think there's something cool about MMA and that like, yeah, both of you guys take off most of your clothes, lock them in a cage,

see who walks out of here. Like that is a very pure sport to me. Yeah. I was reading about like the original Olympics once, maybe even in high school. And they were talking about how rules became instituted over the years. And originally in wrestling, finger breaking wasn't against the rules, but, but there came to be a great Greek champion,

you know, Paulius, the finger snapper, I suppose. And he would just, you know, he would pin them and then he just starts snapping their fingers one by one. snapping their fingers one by one until they

tap. Can you imagine watching an event that barbaric where you're like, oh, and Polyus has him down. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, he's isolating the hand. Oh, Michael's trying to hide his fingers. Look at him. And he's doing that thing where he's just like,

he's like biting the guy's hand to get a finger and just snap. I tap tap not yet you don't dude that's a special kind of brutal isn't it to like and they were all naked like early on they were actually fully naked yeah fully naked breaking each other's fingers and biting do you think that like olympics 2 had a lot of new rules but they're like it's gonna be great the whole known world's gonna play and then people are breaking each other's fingers and biting each other the javelins are turned on foes instead sure there were never more rules added than between olympics instead of javelin catch let let's just let him hit the ground. Oh!

You've got to do that. The javelin catch. The javelin catch. That's a good one. But if we're talking about team sports that have hot chicks, softball's got to be pretty low on that one man you went low i was like what have you lost your mind the men that play softball uh yeah if you want to see a an ugly chick who smells bad find a softball catcher um that's gonna be the worst looking no i remember the catcher for our high school uh softball team oh my i not a looker there are

good looking people that play softball i i when i went to college there was a girl in particular it was just 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 on anybody's list. She played softball. I would say softball girls are less attractive than non-athletes. I've never done analysis. Typically, athletes beat non-athletes as a whole. Softball, I don't know what's up. Oh, yeah. Super strong women that's not a looker one like the the olympic competition weightlifting yeah generally no because drone and stuff trying

to you know get them all the edges they have and they just kind of like put on a lot of mass and they don't really have a feminine look you know they're they're not they're not really worried about any sort of visual aesthetic or anything like that they're just like i i need to lift 200 pounds over my head real fucking bad and whatever that takes yeah that's that's not that's not a good looking crowd just just i don't know why i'm being contrarian this isn't an argument i think i can win. But I'm finding them to be better than I expected. They're not the heavy ones, right? Obviously, there's some women here. Yeah, that one in the top left.

Right, right, right. But the woman in blue next to her. How much is she fucking pressing there? Is that three plates or four? No, no, no. It's two plates. It's two plates. My bad.

That's 225. Look at the blue woman next to her. Yeah. I'm not showing it to the audience right. There's a lot of forehead on her. And this is like... She looks old. Am I the one who thinks she looks

really old to be fucking in the Olympics? She's got an old face. really old to be fucking in the Olympics? Yeah. She's got an old face. I wonder if you don't age out of weightlifting. She looks like she spent the pregame ugly crying. What about this woman?

Okay, let's see. I think it's the same person. God, what a camel toe. Yeah, right? Really? Yes. Yeah, that's bearing the brunt of it. The gobbler. The gobbler. The gobbler.

The gobbler down there. They call my pussy the gobbler. How about the... What your search was, Woody, on the second row, the, I guess, sixth column, the blue USA. Okay, this little girl

doesn't even look like... What is she even lifting there? What is it, 20? She's wearing a shirt that just says weightlifting. It says Nike weightlifting. Okay. I'm always interested in how much someone's actually lifting. Looks like there's a yellow plate on the outside.

So I'm going to say there's like 30 on each side. I'm going to guess the yellow one's a 10 if the blue one the blue ones are 20 those are killer so yeah are you sure about that the last one i linked to show everyone again uh she might like what's definitely true is hot girls do resistance training no one's arguing against that uh so she might not be an olympic weightlifter she might just be a hot girl doing resistance training. I don't know if that dude, I don't, I don't think that's kilos. You might be right.

I know. I've seen a lot of math in my head. There's no way she's pressing 160 pounds. Look at her arms. Yeah. Oh, I mean, well,

this, this is a woman competing in the Olympics and these are kilos. Yeah. Big in here or what? Yeah. Goodness. So that's 50. See, this is what I was talking about

when I was a very different woman. But I'm Oh, look at that minged. Yeah, I saw he could eat that girl that you linked before this girl oh yeah who's the captain marvel chick oh free maybe free larson she does resist his training she has a good body mostly sure not a big butt but no she's got a terrible ass poor thing she'll be okay that's true too yeah so hottest chicks i'm gonna go with surfing that's my my best answer

final answer although i will say it's one of those artistic judged sports you know there are some hot female golfers i know know. That just occurred to me. There's something about sports that require a bit of affluence to be a part of that just means it's almost like pretty people end up being successful

more than ugly people. Their children end up being able to play the more affluent sports. There's not a lot of golf teams in the hood. So it just stands to reason, whether it's for whatever reason, that some pretty chicks play in golf. Well, yeah, but they'll be like, all people make more money. Yeah, I brought up tennis.

Oh, yeah. I didn't hear you. Yeah. Those chicks know how to fucking dress. They're always wearing a skirt that does not cover their ass and panties. It's like it's not supposed to, right? Like, if your skirt didn't allow me to see up it every volley, then there's something wrong with your skirt. Yeah. They would be asked to leave Chuck E. Cheese if they dressed like that in an establishment for children that way.

Yeah, same with cheerleaders. They're dressed like cheerleaders. I have gone off on the cheerleader thing so many times. It seems like I'm the only person that noticed. But I'm still right. I'm still right. These little girls are being sexualized. What? Oh, God, Taylor. right these these little girls are being sexualized what oh god taylor i just linked an article and uh

they apparently there were some mistakes made at a hospital where they gave kids minoxidil which is a hair growth agent instead of omeprazole which is to help settle an upset stomach. And so these kids started throuting hair. That's the upper shoulder of a child. That's a baby's belt. That's a baby's belt. And look at how much fucking hair. And look at the color of your belt. Yeah, I have some hair,

but not like that. Not a lot. I have some hair up here. My arms aren't that bad really i mean they're hairier than yours i would guess but so much hair like there's none i have zero back hair i have zero like like i've just got that stripped down my chest i've got like like there's some hair on my stomach i guess like like my lower stomach but like oh there's a full chain of of custody

up to here up to my neck like i'm pulling some you can't see it on my camera and i got someone grows up over here if i let this go the neck will just continue as i get older i have like it's not a lot of back hair it's like five and colin's like uh uh i have one i have one that's like back here on my shoulder and like if i ever reach back and scratch and i feel i'm like oh you're coming out today i got i like fish around to like doink that motherfucker out of there he's got to go i have one eyebrow right on the top up there well i have one eyebrow that grows wrong and colin saw it this is like three days ago and he's like can i pluck it and i'm like no which it was a rhetorical question guys it doesn't matter how i answer it and is he

so he grabs it and he doesn't just pull he like punch and pull and he's like punching my eyeball and i was like ah and he's like i my eyeball. And I was like, ah. And he's like, I didn't get it. Three or four punching pulls. And I'm like, Colin, enough. Enough. My eyeball hurts. You're punching me in the eyeball. Right?

So I'm downstairs. I have a coffee or something. Like nine minutes has passed. And Colin puts his arm around at my shoulder around my shoulders alphaing me as he often does he's like hey dad and i'm like why am i scared from the other side he has tweezers down and i'm like what the like this is all surprised to me and he gets it and i'm like well i don't know this

looks like a cornea i was gonna i was about to say don't give him on a tweezers then if he's gonna do a punch and pull tweezers he was a little more delicate i guess but yeah the eyeball hurt for a little while it's better now i just imagine like next time he wants to pluck an eyebrow you're like hang on let me get my helmet he doesn't like i don't know like my father will come over he might have like a skin tag or something right he's over 70 and colin's just like we're like no no no you can't just rip those off you know no have i ever told you about removing a like a like a skin tag once i'm not sure oh like look i'm vain and when if i see something like like a skin tag or like like a mole or something it's gotta go it's gotta go and like i was in new york doing a business thing and i was i was in my hotel

room i was walking around shirtless and i kind of reached back to like scratch my side and like somewhere like on my ribs on my right side i felt something and it was like a skin tag it was like this it was like a it was like a flat mole that was like flop like this it would it was like a skin tag. It was like a flat mole that was like flop like this. It would like flop. Yeah. And I was just like, oh, this is so unsightly. Oh, I can't stand. It was like I felt like I had a parasite.

I was going to say leech, right? It was like I had a parasite. Something was on slash in my body that I was just disgusted by. I was like, this has to go. Like, I'm going to be, if I go out tonight, all I'm going to be thinking about is this, that this thing is on me. It'd be like having a splinter in your fucking eyeball or like, I don't know. Dr. Colin wouldn't stand for that shit shit he'd grab an exacto if that's

what it took dr kyle won't stand for it either okay of course he's in a hotel room in new york city so all he had at his disposal was a pair of nail clippers oh no no why would you do this so i got my nail clippers i kind of stretched the skin got in the mirror and i started i got i got all the way down to the base of this motherfucker sure i start squeezing and in my head i thought it's just gonna go snip and like snip right off like you're like snipping a rosebud off like you're pruning yeah yeah i've never had an earring but it's like it hurts and then it's over right i'm this is kind of This is kind of hard for me to tell the story. I'm going to squirm in my chair just remembering back to how awful this was.

So I squeeze and it's hurting. And I squeeze more and I'm hurting. And I'm like, we're doing this. And I squeeze and I hear a crunch noise. I hear a crunch noise. And I'm like, well, that had to be it. And I pull a little bit no it's still attached so i make a decision it's coming off so i just go

and just tear it off oh so i never you didn't sever it you ripped it i just tore the motherfucker off and it hurt i have a high pain tolerance i i i i truly believe this i've never felt 10 out of 10 pain because i've never gone unconscious and i think that's what a 10 is this was a seven you're getting those those fuzzies in your eyes I'm literally getting dizzy and nauseous at the same time and like having to sit down and I'm just like making a fist kind of hitting my thigh going

oh shit oh shit fuck fuck fuck and the blood is already down to my hip it's already down to my hip like like like i'm like i'm gonna stain my fucking underwear if i don't like so i'm like getting a towel to staunch the bleeding now and i ended up having to like go downstairs to the lobby and get like band-aids and like neosporin and stuff but no scar or anything and i got it clean like if there'd been a little nub left i'd had to do something about that too did you look at it afterward to see the culprit oh yeah it was gross

it was gross yeah yeah a little chunk of flesh but but uh since then i've always involved a doctor for such things i had a mole like i don, I don't know, below my chest, but above my ribs, like that kind of area a while back. And I got that removed at the doctor. And, you know, no big deal. I got one of those bumps once, too, like on the back of my neck area many years ago at this point. But I remember the same thing of just one day being like what what the fuck when did when did this happen when did this pop up and i remember like in my head picturing a diagram of it where it's like oh it's the skin and then there's a

thing on here i don't want what do i have to get rid of it? Only an idiot would use nail clippers. A shaving razor. I'll take a layer at a time. Literally. I was picturing. I had like a little razor and I was picturing like what I should be able to do is if I just push really hard down instead of doing the light thing, it'll pick it up and scoop it with it. And what it actually did is I remember I was like standing. I couldn't quite see it and i was like pushing the the razor in tighter and i pulled down really hard trying to get it and i was like oh that stung but not as bad as i thought and i look

and i'm like trying to see it and it's like immediately pouring so much blood and like i reach back to feel it and now it's like i can pick up like the top portion of it except it didn't get low enough to get the bottom part and so i had to go back and like i swear i at one point i was so irate i was just like eventually it shaved it all off but it was it was there were so much god damn i can't do this anymore this is making me feel so uncomfortable i was having to push the razor down so much that all the surrounding skin was so irritated because so i just had a huge red patch with like what's probably now a scar i can't really see that oh that was dumb and now have you ever gotten like i guess it's acne but it's really like an

abscess in like an like your ear ear area like like like the bottom of your trying to show my ear but they're so when i was very like the bottom of your ear or like right behind it yeah i got one on the inside of this like cartilage area and it wouldn't go away and it was so unsightly and gross and i was only like i mean i was probably like 13 or something and so like it wasn't that i cared that much about the unsightly but i was always trying to like pop it because it was so intrusive that like it was like a pressure in my ear and we went to the doctor and like he like lanced it and then like did like the and it was like someone like like just right open like it was it was the best it was i still remember how good it felt for that to pop and the pressure to be relieved as that like goo dripped out of my ear oh disgusting when

when i was about 13 so i guess as a kid i just didn't wash i didn't i didn't wash my ears very well when i would like shower and stuff and i got blackheads in my ears, like not down my ear canal, but like in the like flat, smooth area of like the inside of your ear. And so we go to the dermatologist and this lady has me lie on my side with my head against like the bed. And she has this tool and she is pressing on these blackheads popping them so hard it feels like she's about to penetrate through my goddamn skull and go into my brain and every one of them is just like she like pops them all it's like a huge they're huge she's like collecting them on like a fucking petri dish over there like look look look at all of that. I'm like, oh my God, how many were there?

Well, there's eight in this ear and four in the other. Better clean your ears in the future unless you want this again. And there's tears in my eyes. Ever since then, every shower, I'm just like fucking cleaning. No, I've got a cloth, soaping it up, really getting in there good with acne wash. I never want to have to go back to that woman in Athens, Georgia and have her stab my ears again.

Was it like that hard pus from being trapped in there so long? It's like a stick. I remember I was at my grandparents' house. I was pretty young. I think my mom was in the other room complaining about acne or something. My grandpa was sitting there on his couch having a coffee or something, watching Bull Riding probably. He was like,

Taylor, come over here. Look at this. I was hearing my grandma and my mom talking about acne. He comes over there and he goes, watch this. He goes, it squeezes it. And it was like a fast forwarding, like those mushroom head growth that just the amount of pus that came out of his nose. It was one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life. And he thought it was hilarious, obviously, because he just wanted to. Jesus Christ. Oh, Christ.

That's so gross. Yeah. Woody, have you ever self- self removed a mole or skin tag with a razor no wart I used to have a wart on my finger right here and if I didn't like maintain it it would grow and you could see it

but if you hit it with a razor blade I could make it almost gone I used to in the shower every so often just shave down the top of the wart. What did you do eventually to? Eventually a doctor put something very cold on it and it like froze it and it fell out or something. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I used the liquid nitrogen.

Froze that bitch off. That's cool. I remember getting dragged along to doctor's appointments when I was little because my younger brother, like he went through a phase when he was young where he would just like get abort on his thumb like a big gross wart or a wart on his toe or something and like you know how it is like I'm six he's you know younger and I would get dragged along to the doctor's office and I remember like getting like there's just such a weird like clash of emotions because he would be like openly crying and scared and the doctor would be openly crying and scared,

and the doctor would be explaining, like, we're going to freeze it off. And then that part, I was like, freeze it off? Like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Mr. Freeze, we're going to do that? And I remember watching them freeze the wart off with that really cold stick, and it was really cool. My brother hated it. He was crying the whole time, but I was fascinated.

I've never had a wart, so I've never had to deal with that i was told it didn't hurt much getting that cold stuff yeah it didn't hurt at all i'm trying to remember maybe you get a needle in that area first he was young enough i could have just been being at the doctors being spooky you know yeah i think it i think it was literally painless that's good well yeah i don't think i'm going to try any more self dermatology in the future although it did get rid of it with just a lot of blood and a few tears oh it sounds awful i don't have an opportunity for self dermatology because involuntary dermatology will find it first on me with tweezers and forced cosmetology

for your mouth does he ever try and sneak a brush in if you're like breath stinking why are you pouring mouthwash on me you can just tell me I'll go brush I know we had onion soup with cabbage slaw for dinner how much brushing is too much?

Like, it is possible to brush your teeth too much and damage your gums and such. Is three times a day too much? I think it's okay. It depends on how hard you're brushing. Like, if you're brushing so hard that your gums are bleeding, that's too much. You got to stop that. Or, if your gums are bleeding, it could be because you don't brush enough. Well, that's bullshit.

That shouldn't be the way that it works. That's like watering plants. Ah, too much water. They turn brown, not enough water. They turn brown. I'm like, well, I don't know what to do for you, quite frankly. But an embarrassing way for a plant to die. Too much water.

Like that's the hurdle. You couldn't get too much food. I just had so many potatoes i starved to death idiots yeah i got those braces and i'm down 10 pounds by the way so that the pain in the ass eating is working uh but um every time you put them back in you have to brush your teeth so it can be like three times a day yeah i'm going on a little trip so i've been good with my diet recently so i can well good other than just those few days of absolute mayhem around thanksgiving oh it was like just and every time because of the amount of leftovers i bring home it's all it always turns into like a four-day thing where it's like well i'm not gonna not eat this that's wasteful jackie's like i saved you a slice of apple pie and i'm like

ah you know thanksgiving ended two days ago i don't really well if you don't eat it i will so i threw it away and told her i ate it the big brain husband move right there i don't i don't keep like if food stays in the like if it's leftovers it gets 36 hours like like like like nothing stays longer than it should stay like like canned goods i've said before i'll say again essentially they'll last longer than you will like like literally like if you've got like a can of like me anyway right certainly longer i i got stuff in my freezer that'll last longer at this point but you know that any kind of leftover or like even eggs like like i get i start thinking eggs are kind of sketchy if i if i if i if I've seen them around too long, I'm like, come on. I buy Nelly's eggs.

And I'm like, Nelly, I just don't think I'm going to have any eggs this weekend. You've been in there for at least a month. You gotta go. You gotta go. I throw away far too much food. I bet Americans throw away more food than any other group of people in the world. I'm sure.

It's probably not even close. I saw this little post from Twitter. Deadliest days in American history. Number one, the Galveston Hurricane, 8,000 deaths. Number two, Antietam Civil War battle, 3,600 deaths. Number three, 9-11, 2,977 deaths. Number four, last Thursday. Number five, last Wednesday.

Number six, last Tuesday. Number seven, last Friday. Number eight, Pearl Harbor. More people died than that in D-Day in Normandy. That's not American history.

French history or something. What? Americans who died in America. We're getting rid of all the wars? We're counting Americans who died in America, I believe, Taylor. Well, I don't care for the ignoring D-Day in this. Big fan of D-Day?

Were you there? Why should they be remembered any less than those at anteidom galveston hurricane we're all so familiar with which accurately killed exactly 8 000 people well d-dayDay 2501. Not even close, Taylor. What are you thinking? Allied casualties on June 6th have been estimated. Not allied.

There were Canadians there. Hold on, bitch. 6,603 Americans, 2,700 British, and 946 Canadians. That sounds like D-Weekend. I'm talking about D-Day. 2,501. This is from the ObamaWhiteHouse.Archives.gov. I'm from History.com.

I don't believe your government propaganda. You're right, History.com. They have the name. So I'm going actually just by June 6th. How many people die on an average day in this country? Like a normal day? We got 350 million. Go back to your source.

Was yours also June 6th? Or was it like the... It was June 6th. day in this country like a normal what is day well actually we got 350 million source was yours also june 6th or was it like the it was june 6th battle yeah oh we fucking i don't know it was 30 000 or something a day i don't know no it can't be that many well it couldn't be that many guys how then that whole graph would make any fucking sense well that's not really great but they're dying of different shit like not not these. These are like one event. This is obviously about COVID. Oh, I know. I'm curious about total deaths of how many people die now. That's my source. I don't know if it's right. I'm only as good as my source.

Jesus Christ, Taylor. It's not even close. You bring a D-Day into this. Actually, what are you talking talking about I just looked it up Disgraced the memory of those Of those fine men So in my opinion D-Day falls in between Last Wednesday and last Tuesday Yeah Yeah

It does Deadliest days but then it sits Then the list doesn't make sense Because if you're counting the total number of deaths, I'm more just frustrated at the way the list is. Well, maybe you should complain to Sunday underscore girl over on Twitter. I don't think she was going for historical accuracy per se as much as making a point. I'm going to make my own list.

Least deadly days in American history. Right after we started. Really good day. It was the first day. Our population was the lowest. Day one. Well, 11 people died that day. By percentage.

There were only 50 of us. That was a terrible, terrible day. Terrible winter. The baker was amongst them. I'm going to Google deadliest days in American history and see what it comes up with. In 1917, an average of 7,708 deaths occurred each day.

I guess that makes sense, right? Or I guess I don't even know. How many people die in India a day? By the math, it would be like 30,000 or something. Just throw them in the trash over there. Throw me in the trash. Taylor, yours didn't combine wounded and more, right? Was it death's death, your source?

I just put in how many Americans. I didn't do a deep dive. I went how many Americans died on D-Day, and it was on obam whitehouse.gov but i also see this other thing that said 2501 were americans well that's what mine says the figure sounds low it's because a wounded in the missing i don't know i obviously picked a higher number because that is better for my point okay yeah in any case yeah uh well don't don't know. I obviously picked a higher number because that is better for my point. Okay. Yeah. In any case, yeah.

Well, don't try to get my Facebook feed to believe this propaganda, Kyle. Well, all those numbers are real. Well, they're real numbers. There's no square root of negative nine on here. We don't know about the Galveston Hurricane and Antietam. That was so long ago. Look at all the zeros at the end of those numbers. They don't fucking know. That does look like an estimate.

If I was going to guess a list like this, I'd be like Galveston Hurricane, 8,124. I mean, I think at Antietam at some point, they're just counting arms and dividing by two. Multiplying by two. Antietam had 22,000 if you include the injured missing and no

no i just saw it on the internet must be true i was talking to taylor i'm sorry the arm conversation i think yeah yeah you divide by two that everybody has both of their arms blown off there's lots of people with one arm. And Kyle's assuming everyone started with, as long as you count all of the arms you find and divide by two, you'll get the correct number of dead people. Oh, you're suggesting that there are a lot of arms that just got knocked off and they're laying around.

And yeah, there's still a lot. Or perhaps people that entered the battle with one arm. I don't think you're thinking of all the possibilities, Kyle. Maybe we just count the heads. Are you going to get both of your arms blown off? No.

Some people are just going to explode, right? And everything's going to get blown away. But Taylor and I could both lose an arm and there's no deaths. Yeah. Whereas you think there's one. I don't know. In like 1860, I think you lose an arm. The odds are.

The point is you would think there was one death, but Woody and I are definitely dead. Both of us. There goes the other direction. You're cutting it in half. When in reality, if either of us had lost a hand or a finger or even tripped on the way home from battle. Those leeches are not going to keep us alive.

Yeah. Well, you do the best you can with what you've got. Maybe we just count the heads and that'll get us there. What if a body doesn't have a head? Then there's going to be some smart ass out there that's like, whoa. Do I guarantee

if I was the drummer boy, who I assume is the person that they assign to count bodies afterwards because everybody else is tired, I would get maybe a third of the way into the field of death and then be like, I can guesstimate this. You know who actually works with the dead bodies? The pastor.

Oh, that makes sense. Like doing the little chaplain blessings and things. It's a psychologically traumatic job. Yeah, it sounds awful. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it's rough. You get a rifle through all their pockets. I mean, it has its benefits.

One guy who's just really nosy gets into that line of work. It's all pictures of people I don't know. No, you'd make photo albums out of all the pictures. It's going to be, I promise I'm not a serial killer. I just want to show you this you'd have like a massive collection of pocket watches yeah glasses rings yeah rings gold teeth of all the shit we've said tonight this is the one i'm going about joining in on this is the one i'm like i don't know about this there's that there's that part in the the

pacific where like the one guy is like starting to pry the teeth out of a dead jap and he's like don't do it don't do it and i was thinking like shit i'd do it like get his teeth get his fucking gold teeth like oh you're gonna have nightmares because you peeled out a dead japanese guy's teeth you just massacred a whole platoon of them and pulling his teeth out as though is the final straw look if i'm dead pull my gold teeth out i don't have any gold teeth please don't pull my teeth out not even if you're dead you want to make a pretty corpse who fucking cares nobody cares oh that was the one funny part in that sisters brothers movie that i watched there's a part i won't spoil it in case anybody wants to watch a bad fucking movie but there's this one part at the end

where the bad guy is dead and it sort of died before they could have their big shootout with him. They get to town to have a showdown with the bad guy. They're like, oh, he's dead. He's over in the funeral home. They go to the funeral home and sure enough, he's dead laying in the casket. John C. Reilly's character is looking at the dead

body and he just goes, punches it in the fucking face two or three times. The funeral director's like, sir, sir, you can't be doing this. He's like, just making sure. It's great to see a dead body punched around a little bit. That old video

of that guy, I know it's a joke. It's not real, but it's the guy storming into a funeral, doing a selfie video for Twitter, and he gets to the dead body in the casket. He's like, say I won't slap this motherfucker. Say I won't. Oh, my life, B. And he just slaps the shit out of the dead body,

and the whole funeral goes crazy with people screaming and stuff. That is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I need to watch it. I won't slap this motherfucker. Say I won't slap. You gotta watch it. Oh, can't watch it though.

I know it's damn shame. Do you see this? Mississippi police looking for man who who pulled down his mask during a bank robbery we haven't talked about that one already oh no sir oh geez the perfect excuse i think we did talk about this on a pkn am i crazy well we did not talk about this. I just imagine like the bank teller is like super smart. He's just like, sorry,

sir. I can't understand what you're saying. Could you, uh, did you pull your mask? I can't, you want what? All the honey.

We don't have any honey here. This is a bank. Want the money, motherfucker. Thank you, sir. I heard that right away right away let me just put that together for you look up into the left just a little bit perfect the money's up there oh i meant over here like just to get up that's crazy what an absolute idiot an absolute retard to take advantage what we talked about what he was how this was the perfect time

for bank robberies and apparently not everyone got that memo ow and he's the only person in that bank without a mask on that's great

he's rude oh my what a gooper can you imagine him explaining this in prison man i'm so glad i'm not i have i wasn't in prison during this pandemic i i i barely skirted by that would have been so fucked because it was a thing i want to say it was a thing when i was in prison was it like it was started in like february when didn't you get out i think it's been a year though you know it's been it's been 14 months but you got out in like in october right uh i went i think i went yeah your first episode back was october 5th 2019 so it might have been a chinese thing yeah i guess it was just getting started over there it seemed like we had heard of it though

i don't know i don't know maybe not though um but in any case like man that would have sucked. Yeah. Yeah, they wouldn't do. It's nearly impossible to not have it spread throughout the prison. We're just stacked on top of each other. Literally. Like, we're in bunk beds. And then the bunk beds aren't even separated. Like, if you're on the top bunk, you turn to the left and there's a guy on top bunk. You turn to the right, there's another guy.

Like, we're just fucking sardines in there. And then we're four rows thick. How did people handle masturbation? Huh? How did people handle masturbation in prison? I assume that they're either... So I would see people who had like... If they were on the bottom bunk,

they would have like a sheet put up like a curtain. So either they just wanted some privacy or they were jerking it. Or in the shower, I would guess. like i said before i did not feel any urges while i was in there i was just too stressed out you didn't see anybody either you didn't you weren't like no but i certainly wasn't looking for it you know last thing i would want to do is catch someone masturbating that's actually uh in watching lockdown 23 i've talked about this before but that was one of the aspects they're like they're like woody's rules you caught me

you gotta finish this was way better when i was on the receiving end. So, no, so lockdown 23, I think he was maybe a new prisoner at the time. He was walking down, and he looked inside somebody's cell, right? So I think it was much different than your situation. You had more of a dorm type, like, but they had individual cells with a pair of people in them.

And as he walked by, he looked down. And the guy liked him but nearly beat him down for it you know he had to really sort of i don't know apologize and say he didn't understand or that he couldn't resist and apparently eyes forward motherfucker like when you walk down that hallway you do not snoop into everybody's cell. That's what I tried to do. And it wasn't like anybody warned me. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Were you able to be perfect every minute for two months? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just pick a spot. It's like when you're driving. You just pick a spot in the distance and just focus on that you don't look at the the yellow line skipping right in front of the hood you know you pick something way up ahead what if there was something interesting you just oh focus focus you

wouldn't you wouldn't get sucked into you gotta say my name if you want me to turn my head okay i i i would showers for sure then the showers showers, I'm just like, all right, I'm walking out now. Like looking up into the left and the shower, the shower stalls are on my right. Yeah. You know what I feel like I would do the same, but I don't know that I would do the same always without flaw for years. You know,

if I had three years, the years, right? Like, would I, can I go three years without peeking in some asshole's cell? What if it's noisy? What if I don't know what that noise is?

What if there are screams for help in there? Right? What if there's a grunt? Ugh. Right? He could be lifted. I don't know what's, but I want to know. I'm not looking. I'm not looking.

I'm not looking. The best version of me is not looking. But tell me I don't make a mistake in three years. Oh, you'll make a mistake. Right? Then they'll make an example. Then I won't make any more mistakes. That's how I learn.

Yeah. Well, we just took out his left eye, so now he don't have that problem good god i'm so fucking glad i'm not back in that fucking prison man that was that was awful dude i'm stressed about going every so often i didn't do anything dude it's so not fun it's so not fun it's it's just so lame as to say it stinks. It stinks. It doesn't literally stink. It smells fine in there. It smells like

bleach, Clorox. The Jerry Kill guy? Oh, that's a different story. That's a different story. That man's hair product was obnoxious. Fucking Greg down there. I'm up on that top. I'm looking at him. He was tall. 55, 65 year old black man. I can still I'm up on that top. I'm looking at him. He was tall.

55, 65 year old black man. I can't tell. Something like that. Black don't crack. He could have been 78. I don't know. But just talking to himself all the fucking time. Wouldn't shut the fuck up. Just all the time. Going to have a big day today. Yes, sir.

Going to get out there. Going to get that breakfast. Hell yeah. Pancake day today, sir. Pan big day today. Yes, sir. Going to get out there. Going to get that breakfast. Hell yeah. Pancake day today, sir. Pancake day today. Did people tell you why they were in? Or is that like a privacy? I never asked, but people would volunteer.

If they wanted to tell me, they'd tell me. I would tell people sometimes, but why I was there. But I don't remember what Greg had done. He had done, he was in for 14 total years. I think it was some sort of violent crime. Uh, he had like four left, roughly speaking. I don't remember like exact numbers. Uh, there was a bank robber who was like doing like the last five of 25 or 28 years or something like that. There was the guy who had sold, who had bought food stamps from people. People had

food stamps. He owned a grocery type store. He'd give them cash so they could probably go around and buy drugs from some third party. But for him, he can just cash those food stamps in for full value because he has a grocery store. Gave him five years.

Snow was obviously in there for moving. Methamphetamine. a grocery store gave him five years. Um, snow was obviously in there for moving, uh, methamphetamine. And, uh, um, there was the one guy who was in there for like some sort of computer fraud hacking type scheme that he'd been part of the other guy next to me for

moving an ounce of cocaine. Uh, the guy right below him was in there for, um, lots of Oxycontin, lots of pills and a little bit of like conspiracy to go along with it. Cause you know, they had proof of him being like,

yeah, yeah, we gotta, we gotta keep this under wraps and not, don't tell anybody this and you don't tell anybody that. And I'll sell you this for this. And now he's, now it's a criminal conspiracy, which comes with its own charges.

Lots of shit like that. A little bit of everything, lots of drugs. this for this. And now he's, now it's a criminal conspiracy, which comes with its own charges. Um, lots of shit like that. A little bit of everything, lots of drugs. Um, and the, the older guys were often in there for violent crime because they had done like 90% of their sentence and they were serving the last 10% down at this

lower level of a prison. But people like snow and, uh, some of the older guys who were like late forties to seventies had all done some serious shit somewhere and served already 20 years or so somewhere else. Hmm. You think about everything with the people who did bigger crimes, did they look more apt to be violent?

Like the violent, were you like, this guy is scary. This guy looks like he's capable of i don't know hurting someone willing to i guess capable is different but it looks like he's willing to some were some weren't like like it just depended like like i felt like the guy who ran the laundry was the scariest guy in there because he had a temper and uh he was he was doing like the last two or three years of 10 years or something like that for probably drugs as well and he was kind of young and fit like he looked like he'd be a real problem he's the one who i got in a real

shouting match with over the tvs um he seemed like he would be a real hassle to deal with he reminded me of um i can't think of the black actor's name but he's always in like gladiator movies and stuff oh he's the guy in john wick who runs the front desk yes mr wick would you like a room with him is the guy from spartacus yeah the guy from spartacus yeah he reminded me of that guy except not quite as old like that guy but young like like he was fit it's not even a matter how easily they could kick my ass it's just how willing they are to kick my ass right like that's a big part of it the guy could be 50 years old over the hill right and uh like i don't know if he just wants to that's a problem absolutely it is because we're not gonna like square off somewhere

and like there's gonna be a referee he's probably just gonna attack me while i'm sleeping or showering yeah yeah a lock in his sock that's what the old uncle terry special that uh the i used to roll with prison guards and that was their that was what they used in that prison they put a lock in like a padlock in his sock yeah and uh just imagine being hit on the back of the head of that by surprise in the mouth you could kill you i i told that story long ago about uncle terry wasn't my uncle he was my cousin's uncle um it was like he was like uh my cousin i had the same our fathers are brothers and uh but but his mother's my cousin's mother's the same, our fathers are brothers. And, uh, but, but his mother's, my cousin's mother's brother.

I hope you're following this. So his uncle, not my uncle and no way related to me. I just want to lay that out there. Cause this guy's such a white trash. Uncle Terry, like he was telling this story about being in prison and, and,

uh, like, yeah, I N word knocked all my teeth out. And I was like, how how and as he's taking his teeth out to like show that he has no teeth he goes i want a sock he'd put a padlock in a sock and you know wrap it once around his fist and then he had like this flail type weapon that's incredibly damaging you know for for being in a prison you're blocking a stock health care is fucked up with

like i i don't know how did they decide that the bones in your mouth that you need to eat food are optional yeah because we got a pretty fucked up system i just they shouldn't be optional those are bones that you're probably fine without yeah yeah just gum it it's just gum it today we're very small pieces have we told you about the cake shake diet because you don't have teeth anymore guaranteed god cake shakes are good i've never i've never even heard of a cake shake outside of the pka meme there's this place uh in atlanta called delia's chicken sausage stand anybody Anybody who's in Atlanta, seek it out if you don't give a fuck about calories. They have cupcake milkshakes there.

They have the old-timey milkshake machine where there's the metal cup that goes up and has the stirrer and everything. They fill it up with vanilla ice cream and then they take a whole cupcake, just frosted, like a frosted, ready frosted ready to eat cupcake and

there's like boop and just throw it in there and and you get it and it's like this was a cupcake just a moment ago and so they're like there's like dry cake mixed in with this like what was already wonderful ice cream and the frosting on top. I would get these red velvet cake shakes occasionally when my girlfriend lived out near one of those places. Oh my god, they were so good. That does sound good. Can you make them at home?

Of course, just take a food processor and ice cream and a cupcake. You can't use a blender? Yeah, a blender would do it. You might have to take that little plastic plunger thing it comes with and make it do its thing. Make it work. I can't think of a less healthy thing to eat, though.

Yeah. That's a better show. Any outros? Nope. BKA 521.