Painkiller Already - PKA 522 w BlameTruth Taylor Getting Married, Woody Cancelled, Woody v BlameTruth Calf Competition

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Yes, I am ready. Take a painkiller already. 522. Blame Truth has just challenged me to a calf off. So we will see where that leads to. Our guest, Blame Truth, Taylor. Yes. Great start.
Starting point is 00:00:13 This episode is brought to you by SmartMouth, Squarespace, and Bluetooth. But thank you, Blame Truth, for coming on. I also am looking forward to the calf off. Are you wearing pants right now, Blame Truth? Never. No, never. No. Okay, so I'm wearing skinny jeans, so this might be difficult. You might win
Starting point is 00:00:30 by... You gotta pop those off. Yeah, you're gonna have to drop those. Well, I don't wear underwear, so I can't. You guys will get banned from me. No, it's not. We'll take care of that in post. I think I can pull them up. Yeah, we're good. He said his calves would smoke any of us. Well, you guys need some sort of objective comparison
Starting point is 00:00:47 something common do you have a pen nearby this is like at school when that one kid is like my dad could beat up your dad and your dad is an olympic wrestler and you're just like do you want me to call my dad because he lives for this sort of thing since the injury i don't want to talk any smack i don't know if a man says my calves will smoke all of your calves he probably has good calves i believe he has good calves but i've seen woody's calves i've seen woody's calves so he might he might beat me no don't lose your confidence maintain that energy big mouth maintain that energy huh okay what do you have very very defined calves i'm just saying i my body type is is so fucking weird i'm i'm basically a t but at the bottom the t like splits off and i have giant calves
Starting point is 00:01:37 so you know like skinny legs but but giant calves i don't know why it's weird and nobody does any focus work on their calves that has big calves. They just happen to have big calves. Yeah, I just happen to have them. I don't do anything. It's just a genetic trait. Nobody with huge calves is like, I do so many calf raises. It's like guys like me who want to have bigger calves do that. And what is it genetically?
Starting point is 00:02:00 Or muscle building wise, where it's like calves just don't fucking respond. Like I work out my arms, they get traps shoulders everything else responds calves doesn't make any fucking can you even get a pump on your calves like yeah it's just a cramp you'll just i can tell sometimes if i've been working my calves because you wake up the next morning to with your your leg really really tight from have you ever used the calf machine in the gym you know you've got that thing you put on your your back like a yoke and uh load it up with plates and then it's got like a thing to stand on so you put like your toes on it and your heels are hanging off so you're really able to isolate your calves i've seen it but i've never tried that yeah i could use the
Starting point is 00:02:38 entire stack on the machine at 14 years old well that that must be similar to leg press where it's like it's time to feel good about myself i'm gonna i'm gonna take sorry everyone else at the gym i need all the 45s this rude shit just stealing them all over there oh sorry you can't bench because this idiot needs to leg press for no reason but those are that's a an item I was looking at. Like I just was having fun looking at gym stuff. Not that I was about to purchase it, but like leg press machines, like $1,200 for a cheap one for what? What do you really get out of that? One exercise, one exercise.
Starting point is 00:03:21 I just want to point something out. Blame truth's PC just blue screened, and he has frozen in the perfect position. Like, as I was saying that, even though I know that he's not here, I was still half expecting him to be like, oh, no, I'm still here, because he's perfectly posed.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Everybody else freezes in this unflattering, like... Dude, I freeze at my absolute fattest. It's like, hey... This leads into Taylor. I didn't ask myself this before. I'm double on the screen now. Are you going to diet down for the wedding? Is this part of the thing?
Starting point is 00:04:03 Are you going to do wedding pictures? Oh, yeah. Shirtless, I hope? Yes. No. Well, you know what? That's up in the wedding. Is this part of the thing? Are you going to do wedding pictures? Shirtless, I hope? Yes. No. Well, you know what? That's up in the air. But yeah, so I did get engaged in the last week. I'm really excited about it. She obviously is. I've been excommunicated
Starting point is 00:04:18 from the Church of Kyle. Sad. It's sad. I don't know who he's going to replace as the new Archbishop or whatever the hell, because not a very deep bench in that church. It's a very deep bench. There's plenty of people out there who aren't stupid. Just not in this call. You were on thin ice when you practiced the pull-out method, Taylor. This is just the
Starting point is 00:04:44 final blow. I can see why Kyle would never want to get married or anything because you never, ever want children. No, absolutely not. I do want kids. Okay, well, you know, usually when people say they want kids, I'm like, have you tried a dog? But you have tried the dogs,
Starting point is 00:05:01 and so I have nothing to say. Nothing to say. Just going to start firing out kids, Mormon style. So I'll be able to field a baseball team. But I won't. I'll field two hockey teams against each other, so that's more fun. Right? Four on four, I guess it'll have to be.
Starting point is 00:05:19 And me and their mom can play goalie. If she can still walk. Yeah, dude, i was getting so many comments on twitch last night it's like r.i.p your your fiance's pussy when those hammerhead babies start i didn't get it i didn't know what we were talking about yeah i thought it was the stopping her from walking until he said that just you're gonna have to like get the jaws of life to open the pelvis a little more to let my monster headed children out no shit uh my mom was in labor i think for over 24 hours because my head was so fucking big like coming out so i'm gonna put i'm gonna say 48 minimum oh yeah i was a two
Starting point is 00:06:00 day child also wait are you the oldest? No. Oh, okay. Usually the oldest takes forever. So, I want to talk about this a little bit. How long have you been thinking about proposing? Probably the better part of a year. Okay. How long ago did you purchase the ring?
Starting point is 00:06:23 So, I did something different with that i used uh a family romantic uh-huh and then uh figured then we would go get one afterward and the you know the good thing about that is that you get to play it off as this is like very sentimental but really it saves you a trip okay so so follow up question. How long ago did you acquire the family ring? Oh, well, like it came from like my grandma.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And so it was never like a, I got to pick it up. It was just like the last time I saw her before I was doing it. It's like, Oh yeah. Do you got that by the way that we talked about using? She's like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:06:57 here you go. But it's been playing for a while. Is this, is that, I guess that's when I grabbed it was around Thanksgiving. Okay. So how, how long were you carrying
Starting point is 00:07:05 it around perhaps in your pocket before you you know pop the question oh not very long at all okay yeah yeah hardly any time it was it was a big annoying box and you look like an asshole walking around with that giant bulge in your pocket and so I was like what am I gonna go to a fancy dinner and she's gonna sit there like you're you're either hard or you're about to propose you know that was how did the how did the proposal go down did you like hide it in a dessert or did you just ready to ruin your life i'm going to ruin my life no what I did is I put it inside a ravioli. She took your tooth. And then we waited.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And she'll be able to wear it in 36 to 48 hours. Yeah, I put it in a little gnocchi thing. And then, no. Just pretty traditional. Pretty normal. Just regular proposal. Did you get down on one knee? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I did too. Yeah. I figured that's the plan. Did you ask her father one knee yeah i did too yeah i figured that's i like the plan you know did you ask her father yeah i did i did too i thought that was traditional boys i like it very very and she's she's very traditional also she was the one who was like you know i would really appreciate you know if we ever get married if this is a long time ago like and she was like i would like you to ask my father first and i was like, oh, of course. That was the first date. That was three years ago. Almost scared him off, frankly.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Maybe we should get appetizers first. She said that on Tinder, actually. It was the first conversation. The first thing. Just ask my father. In all seriousness, congratulations. I'm very happy for you, no. In all seriousness, congratulations. Thank you. I'm very happy for you because I know this will make you happy.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I've never met her, but I look forward to meeting her at some point because she must be a wonderful person because you're one of the smartest people I know. You're one of my best friends. I care about you a tremendous amount. I love you. I love you too, man. Thank you. Yeah. And I wish you
Starting point is 00:09:04 all the best and tons of happiness. All jokes aside, really happy for you. I'm really excited about it also. I'm really looking forward to it. Don't you ask me to come to that fucking, what do they call it? A wedding?
Starting point is 00:09:19 That personal life execution that you guys are going to hold in a church somewhere like no but seriously though oh well thank you yeah so much so happy for you it's awesome when i when i read the mess when i when i read your message uh i was just like oh man that's great that's that's awesome i was really happy for you i was super excited when i read your message i and it was the same sort of thought process like this is good for taylor this i don't know taylor taylor's doing something amazing right now and i'm pleased for you so it's great like i was you know such a big lifestyle change i was like am i gonna do it
Starting point is 00:09:56 and then suddenly start feeling like cold feet i was about to say wet feet i don't think that's the cold feet my feet get wet. And it was like, no, it was like, I was even more excited. I'm like, damn,
Starting point is 00:10:08 this is like, it's finally moving. It's finally going forward. Like I'm, I'm really looking forward to it. So I, I, I rated Dick Masterson's chat last night after I finished on Twitch and his
Starting point is 00:10:20 first thing, cause he follows me on Twitter. So he saw it. He was like, Oh, Taylor rated me. Ah, dude ruined his fucking life, because he follows me on Twitter, so he saw it. He was like, oh, Taylor rated me? Ah, dude, ruined his fucking life, man. And then he just
Starting point is 00:10:27 goes right back to playing on his piano and singing as he does, but very, very funny. Because he's, I would say he is, he's probably got a competing Church of Dick to go alongside the Church of Cotter. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it's a good thing that you're getting your first marriage
Starting point is 00:10:43 started this early in life yeah then I can revamp but oh what are your original question am I going to get in good shape for it yeah it's a really good motivating thing because like those are going to be the pictures that will like be in my
Starting point is 00:10:59 house forever and so like I am going to be just have you considered going to the altar now and so like I want gonna be just have you considered going to the old time my grandpa and so like i want to be able to tell my grandkids like guess what i wasn't a fat tub of shit always look at me look at me 50 40 years ago what if you went the other way taylor what what if what if you lowered expectations by looking horrific on your wedding and then you would just have a low bar for the rest of your life right like anytime someone
Starting point is 00:11:25 sees you on the mantle they'll be like taylor really glowed up why did you get all your wedding photos in a wheelchair i don't know it was after the war you were in the did you serve in the war grandpa as far as you know you know. Grandpa, were you a hero in the war? Yes. Grandpa, why do you sound like Colonel Sanders all of a sudden? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:02 So I got to use it as a chance to slim down. Because like this last week, I was on a trip with my girlfriend and I in Florida. And like I said on PKM, we were going to do some Disney World thing when they were like, that's probably a fucking bad idea. So we switched to like a bunch of kayaking, like fishing, biking, that kind of outdoorsy thing. And because it was, you know, middle of the fucking week for the most part, nobody was anywhere. Like we had the whole run of every park we went to every every you know stream or whatever we were doing it was great um at one point we went to i've never done this before we went to a dog betting track have you ever done that yeah yeah watch greyhounds and it was it was so much fun like i only bet twice uh and then after that like my girlfriend and i were just betting each other
Starting point is 00:12:45 because I didn't know anything about the dogs. I didn't know what all the numbers meant. I thought STR was on it. And I'm like, that must be the dog's strength. Yeah, it's... And I was like, how would you gauge the strength of a greyhound dog? And then I asked some other guy, and he was like, that means weight. And I was like, well, I didn't ask him what the STR meant.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Yeah, I like dog racing so much more than horse racing because they love it. They are having a ball. The dogs are itching to get out when they see that little rabbit come around. And you can tell how much fun they're having because the second that rabbit goes around the full time and then it folds back into the the running thing it's around like all the dogs some of them even before they get the little treat they'll like run up and nip at the the fake rabbit like this and horses are too smart for that i think i think they're not having a great time like i think they do have a great time i just think it's not very healthy for them like like like you think the dogs are healthy like i imagine they're just injected with
Starting point is 00:13:45 whatever yeah go fast juice yeah yeah they're probably being injected with something or another to be a little faster but but i don't think it's harmful for them like and when a dog falls there's they're so light and nimble like they're okay but when a horse falls it's like okay well your life is over now like as soon as they break a leg they're dead no one can explain to me why that's true i I know that it's true. It's because they can't stay off of that leg. But how could a dog stay off of it? We've all seen dogs stay off of them.
Starting point is 00:14:13 They just stay off of them. Let's say this horse's sperm is very valuable, right? So it is economically feasible to suspend it from its chest, to hold it from its knee where it's not broken, to do whatever it takes, right? I don't know why you can't amputate the leg and give it a prosthetic. There is something about horses. Maybe their heart is in their feet. I don't know. I'm not a vet.
Starting point is 00:14:39 But it seems like you break a horse's leg and no one can explain to me why you just can't keep it alive long enough to heal. It's got to be because they're so top heavy. You know what I mean? Like they're very muscular, broad creatures up top. I mean, so they're descendants of giraffes, right? Like evolutionary wise. It looks right. I believe that.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Okay, we'll go with that. I mean, have you ever kicked a giraffe in a leg and it's oh sure all the time yeah so it's gotta be something like that like it is too top heavy or something but the dog's like more even keeled they just won't stay off of that leg they can't and like even if you could like suspend it during the day like it's got to sleep at night and like you could keep it in a tub of water and make the horse weigh three pounds right i broke my leg what does it do at night how does it sleep in the water it floats it has a a blanket under its belly where it's like forced to stay upright oh okay what happens when its skin starts sloughing off because horses are not naturally aquatic?
Starting point is 00:15:47 You just have to suspend him. You know, Bill, Prancer's getting a little soggy, I've noticed. In people, it takes about, I think, two weeks to get soft cartilage. Now the bones are touching in form, but it's not strong. And then it takes like two more weeks to get like weak bone and then i forget the names of it i when i broke my bone my leg and it goes the strong bone it's i think it's called soft and then hard and then like post or something you're right and i just i that's so funny you said like the soft tissue thing
Starting point is 00:16:20 because like apparently humans have a lot more access to the soft tissue that grows first whereas horses in their legs it's mostly hard tissue and so like even if it manages to regrow the bone it's going to be like badly bent and mangled because there's not soft tissue to like put it back in place it'll just start growing incorrectly and because their bones are thinner it says that when they break a lot of shards to get into their flesh and like can travel around and they get infected so like i i get why it might not be economically feasible right but if there were a six million dollar horse and we had all the king's horses and all the king's men i don't know why they can't like like with my leg they put some plates on it and they put everything back in position so that when it healed it was you know of touching. It was that you break a pencil, you put it back together the way it was,
Starting point is 00:17:06 and then it grows to heels. Not the pencil, but work with me. I don't know why on the horse, like that just doesn't, it can't be done. Even this thing could win the, what is the Kentucky Derby Grand Slam called when you win all three? The Grand Prix? It's partially, I i bet backwards engineering from horse owners who are like it would be this thing is now a money pit like yeah i guess we could put
Starting point is 00:17:32 it in horsey hospice for a while and try and get him or at least give him a comfortable death but it's like no it's unfixable just shoot him on the track so you know i i wouldn't be surprised when there's sperm cells for like a quarter million of load, now that counters that theory. Just get a final bust as he lays on his side. I wouldn't be surprised if a horse that's had a broken leg, their sperm isn't worth as much now because maybe that's a sign of something genetic. Sure.
Starting point is 00:18:01 And also, I bet those horses are heavily insured and shooting the horse means we get a 10 million dollar payday right now or we can try to like limp him through some sort of experimental horse rehab it seems like that should be dude shooting your own horse if it gets a broken leg is like burning my car if i get a flat tire and just pay out from the insurance company that seems like circle back to burn the truck yeah just no we're not paying for your whole car sir the tire was down it wasn't even hot it was down it was like it was low it was only cool outside light was coming on sometime. Cold weather, it would come on. So I burnt it.
Starting point is 00:18:49 What are you doing in the resident? What are you doing in the school zone? Medics are close. So Twitch has new rules? You can't say simp, incel, or virgin anymore. That was like half of my fucking vocabulary for my Twitch streams. Dude, my chat has never said Twitch, I'm sorry, simp, incel, and burden as much as it did last night.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Last night was all just incel, incel, simp, simp, simp, simp, simp, virgin, virgin, virgin, nonstop. And I'm over there like, yeah. I got repeated questions about it and i'm trying to answer it without using simp in seller virgin in my response i thought people like i didn't i don't those aren't really three of my insult repertoire really so i didn't mind as much but when they come from batarded i'm gonna be pretty frustrated but they're coming for it they're coming for it i were saying it the entire time last night in my chat too and it was so silly especially the the simp well all simp incel and virgin i i thought it was a meme like a joke at first until i saw no that they they literally
Starting point is 00:19:55 picked those three why why those so i heard her explain it and she was like people use these words as an insult and you know we don't want people to be so mean to each other and and like i kind of get it like from that where she's coming from i don't hate it like i don't hate that she's trying to do a good thing i don't think she did a good thing in my chat no simple lot but it it really just means like supporter or fan or like it's not yeah it didn't have a nasty connotation in my chat maybe elsewhere i don't think so well i think i got a message for all the simps incels and virgins out there the bell delphine fuck show begins and t minus 13 days boys all right and someone you're t minusing
Starting point is 00:20:40 someone needs to purchase that thing one of you simps and sales of virgins out there so that I don't have to plop down the $35 I think it is just to be just to be part of her only fans you think she's three times as good as Hulu with no ads yes fair enough no no no or twice as good as Netflix
Starting point is 00:20:59 the problem is how much she drains you you say it's $35? They don't play all the way. $30? She says $35 six times a day. $30, right? I find her amazing.
Starting point is 00:21:13 I don't know how much it is, but there's a monthly fee, and the monthly fee gives you access to buy the individual things. So by paying $30 or $35 a month, you are now eligible to buy more pictures and videos yeah and it apparently this woman is a marketing genius she's so smart i i don't know like to me all right so she's super hot right but i don't find her super hotness to be that much of a distinguishing characteristic. Over half a Chatterbait, right?
Starting point is 00:21:46 Oh, she's really tapped into a very niche group of people that are, like, perfect for this. Like, she's really into gamers. I'm not saying she's legitimately into it. She leans into gamer culture and sort of, like, edgelord culture and that sort of thing and like she she knows her audience really well and she's garnered like a massive audience of a very unique group of people who are into all sorts of anime and game nerds anime yeah anime and game nerds yeah for sure you nailed it yeah i tip my hat to her right like it's she's hot but she has done more with her hot look she's super hot but again you could go to unc's campus and find
Starting point is 00:22:34 400 women as hot as she is like probably so absolutely i'll agree with you 100 on that um but yeah uh she's done such a great job of like just revealing a little bit at a time for a couple of years now. Master teasing, just like, you know, edging and all that. And she's had this coordinated legal strike the last 30 days against everything that leaks her content. And it has been massively effective. She has gotten rid of every subreddit that I was subscribed to all like four of them. Like I was, I was on four different subreddits that just leaked her content and they had been active for like ever.
Starting point is 00:23:14 And like all of her content would be there and all of the like pro leakers were there and they would constantly be like, Hey, there's a mega upload file here. It's 37 gigs of just everything she's ever done. Just get after it boys. And like, I'm not going to download it. I just want to like click it occasionally. Like,
Starting point is 00:23:30 Oh look, she showed a little more titty this time, but all of that's gone. And all of the discords that, that were like working coordinatedly to like leak her content, they're gone. And many of the users permanently banned from the discord service. Like they went after anybody and everybody that was sharing or leaking her content that they could gone. And many of the users permanently banned from the discord service. Like they went after anybody and everybody that was sharing or leaking her
Starting point is 00:23:48 content that they could find. And they're gone. I wonder how much money she's pulling down. It's gotta be, I hadn't until you said it, I had no idea. I thought $35 meant that it was like, all right,
Starting point is 00:23:59 now you're into, you're into Disneyland. You can ride all the rides. Like I didn't know it was additional pay. Like, Oh, here's five more bucks for a nip shot shot so if you guys want to know what she looks like you can bing bell delphine and you'll see make sure you have safe search on if you're doing it from work um the safe search so i i follow a few girls on only fans um the streaming like the twitch streaming industry and the the like um i guess cam girl
Starting point is 00:24:27 industry isn't that much different except they get naked and i don't so i'm friends with a lot of them so i follow them on only fans they give me discounts and stuff and how it works is yeah they charge like a you know fee usually between five and fifteen dollars most of the time unless you're like premium like her then you can charge fucking 35 for you know a few pictures of her crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out but uh yeah they make bank on they'll send you dms with like pay-per-view content and they'll describe what's in that video and then you pay to unlock it and uh that's where the big bucks are do they ever fail to deliver like do they ever say like blow job video and then you pay to unlock it and uh that's where the big bucks are do they ever fail to deliver like do they ever say like blowjob video and then they're sucking on a dildo or something
Starting point is 00:25:11 it's not what you hoped it was if they do they're less likely to get repeat buyers so they like typically the girls i follow describe it in detail they'll be like blowjob video no cum shot you know um a minute and 30 seconds like they'll describe it like that 100 and then that way you know exactly what you're getting you know oh and also in porn news i'm sorry if you had any oh i know where this is coming porn hub uh has been under attack not there's yeah under pressure i should say uh for a while because a lot of people have been uploading all sorts of content on there that is either illegal or borders upon illegal whether it's literally rape or underage content or um or something like that and so to combat that
Starting point is 00:26:02 they have deleted let me take over from here so what happened like kyle said there were videos where they just didn't know the source right anyone could upload to it there are pka episodes on there they got pressure from their credit card companies and that's why they took these actions they feel like it's unfair because all the other porn sites also have like unverified content but so go ahead did you want to jump in the all the other porn sites thing is very interesting because a lot of people don't know this porn hub uh over the years has bought up virtually every porn site in the world um like like i think it's all owned by an umbrella called Mind Geek. They've bought up... It's off the top of my head.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I'm pretty sure they own UGIS.com and a ton of them. The only one that I'm sure that they don't own and is under a completely different situation is Xt's Amster, which is my porn site of choice. Don't get mixed up with the name. It's nothing weird. There are no hamsters involved. It's just their mascot. This site dates
Starting point is 00:27:08 back to early internet days. It's the letter X plus the word hamster. No dashes, no spaces. It is an excellent porn site. They have user-generated content, which is what I like. I like amateur pornography. I don't want to see some people getting paid to fuck. No thank you.
Starting point is 00:27:24 I want people that are in their own homes having a good old time. I don't want to see some people getting paid to fuck. No, thank you. I want people that are in their own homes having a good old time. I want people who don't even know they're being filmed. So what happened was the credit card companies took away Pornhub's ability to process payments. So all that, I don't have a Pornhub premium account, but I guess you pay monthly and get access to the videos with the stars on them or something. And when they couldn't process credit card payments anymore, the only way to pay Pornhub now for them to make money outside of ads
Starting point is 00:27:54 was Bitcoin, which as you know is this huge barrier to entry in terms of... A lot of people don't have Bitcoin that they can easily buy with. So anyway, that's the big thing. The credit card company shook them down in an effort to get back in their good graces.
Starting point is 00:28:08 I don't know if that happened. They went from, I think, about 11 million videos to under three. The huge drop. What was the verification for what they deleted? They deleted all of the content from unverified users, people who don't have accounts
Starting point is 00:28:24 and are essentially like, it would be like if YouTube deleted everything that didn't come from a partner. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So all like everything that was actually amateur is gone.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Now amateur, what's an amateur porn star, you know, like, I guess he's like some girl with a webcam in her office could be a non amateur, but, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah. There's plenty of content that is essentially like a couple who fuck and they've got a verified account and they put in, you know, they show their ID to porn hub and set up a whole system. But even, but that to me is borderline amateur. It's,
Starting point is 00:29:02 it's like, okay, like it's amateur in the fact that they're not like working for vivid video or bang bros or something like that but it's still some people who are like honey are you ready for the shoot today yeah yeah yeah i i i took my lock and load i'm ready to go all right well we'll start shooting at eight uh you know you know they're setting up it's it's not exactly amateur anymore amateurs for me is filmed on a know you know they're setting up it's it's not exactly amateur anymore amateurs for me is filmed on a fucking cell phone they're having you know it's it's impromptu
Starting point is 00:29:29 and i shouldn't be able to tell exactly what movie is playing in the background i should know that sounds familiar but i shouldn't know exactly yeah which show. Yeah, so Pornhub, I also knew, in quotes, that they owned a bunch of other sites. But it's not here. I have a list. They own GayTube, Peepers, PornIQ, PornMD, Pornhub, RedTube, Thumbzilla, 2Bait, and YouPorn. So pretty much everything. that everything like spank wire is a thing chatterbait is a thing only fans is a thing i use all videos well uh woody it's uh porn hub doesn't own these things it's the umbrella court well mind geek does owns porn hub
Starting point is 00:30:19 red tube and some of these are just search engines like one of those i don't i don't know if just porn md is a search engine but uh yeah i don't know i i guess i had in my head that mind geek owned like virtually everything and i'm like oh no they own porn hub and then a couple second raiders yeah well it's a real shame it's a dark day for the internet if you ask me when on one corner of the internet you can no longer call someone a virgin on for the internet if you ask me when on one corner of the internet you can no longer call someone a virgin on and on the other you can't watch a little amateur pornography i'll be honest i went to porn hub just the other day and i like five minutes into searching for videos i got frustrated with its lack with its terrible search system and you just decided not
Starting point is 00:31:01 to masturbate yeah i i put my cock away and discuss all right you just were like this is ruined for me the poor no sir the poor interface it was it was so bad i was i'm just like first of all i'm like i've got it on my tv like i'm using like my amazon fire to like you like browse because you know who isn't like some big screen pornography and uh and i'm trying I'm searching with a little Amazon fire remote, clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety, click. And it's just like amateur big titties or whatever the fuck. And, and like, I clicked that and it's not amateur stuff that it's giving to me. Maybe this is like right after all of this happened. And that's why I couldn't find what I was looking for because I was like, well, that's
Starting point is 00:31:43 not amateur. She's got a blue checkmark next to her name. She's got good lighting. She's got better lighting than I've got. Like, what's going on here? I don't see the craft food service. That guy's got one of those like chop boards. He's like tuna salad at a porn shoot.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Oh, Christ. This conversation leads into another topic. I think I got canceled so whoa um hear me out about it so i don't know a week or two ago the new york times did an article on a young guy and he had watched this video i made like six years ago called how to get rich in 22 years and they're talking about the saving habits of millennials. And the New York times article kicks off with like, you wouldn't think your favorite call of duty YouTuber is a good place to get financial advice, but sure enough. And then, and I'm like, is he talking about me? Like people said it was me, but I was still open to the idea
Starting point is 00:32:38 that maybe some other call of duty YouTuber also made financial advice videos. But then they linked to my video later on. It was called how to get rich in 22 years or something like that. And, um, New York times had a little article and, you know, I was tangentially related to it. So then CNBC reaches out to me and, uh, they're like, you know, Mr. Woodworth, we're doing this like financial education thing. And, you you know we'd like you to make some content with us and i was like i'm interested this sounds kind of neat you know i don't think it's a big financial opportunity or even i don't even know if it's paid but uh it just seemed kind of neat to be working with cnbc and they were going to have their graphics department like your heroes
Starting point is 00:33:20 heroes at cnbc you're thinking of msnbc maybe cnbc is a financial news network oh msnbc is your heroes i understand okay so rachel matt i'll be there how funny would it be if you saved like her from bank i don't think cnbc is political at all but anyway uh back on topic so then they were like hey questions about pka and i was like what is that i'm like that's a comedy podcast and she asked if it was blue comedy which is a term i hadn't heard before and she's like is it r-rated i was like yeah i think it's blue she's like is it x rated i'm like no not x rated like you know we have to there's youtube's terms of service we can't get like you know shut down or anything but it's r-rated i gave an example where like you know a female
Starting point is 00:34:11 teacher has sex with a student and we all agree that it's not that bad because she was that's your example you gave to msnc i didn't want to oh man i didn't want to surprise anyone like i i was i was honest about this whole thing i wasn't trying to i didn't want i didn't want to be like oh you know sometimes we use a bad word and uh you know and then have her find out later that like milo's on there talking about pedophiles or something like that so i affiliated with you called helen keller a fucking retard that would have been a funny example too but uh so anyway they asked for a link i gave them the link to the most recent pka and in the title of it is something about me fighting dirty and uh i don't know where it goes from there i i guess they'll watch it and decide
Starting point is 00:34:57 if it's uh too much for them or not they will not be hit this is the end of the cnbc you can't cancel me because i don't work anyway so what are you gonna do well if anything you're canceled from cnbc i think this is like i feel like this is that scene from ghostbusters when someone asks you if you're a god you say yes yes like oh no it's a kid show yeah no no i get financial advice on there too um i i won't you know it'll be great don't even bother watching it just lie just lie get on tv for what that would be funny what's that plain truth uh what are your guys like what are your opinions on like what's grounds for cancellation? Because it varies from person to person.
Starting point is 00:35:50 You know what I mean? What are our personal ideas? I mean, like, this is a comedy podcast, and comedians in general seem to get away with more, you know, in general. So, like, what's just your guys, I mean, whoever wants to chime in. So, I don't think anyone should be canceled for anything. I think that free speech should mean free speech. And I think that hate speech is free speech. I don't like hate speech.
Starting point is 00:36:15 It's hate speech. No one likes it. But that's how you know that you're living somewhere where free speech is a thing. When people can say things that you don't like and there's nothing you can do about it like you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want to say to a point you can't yell fire in a theater right you can't tell lies about someone that affects their uh their livelihood that's that's uh um i think it's not liable because that's in print what's uh slander slander that's slander but i think you should be able to say imagination to just saying things though right like when blaine 2 said what's cancelable
Starting point is 00:36:50 i thought oh well rape rape is a you know if so if there was anything non-consensual happening in a sex act i might cancel that guy or girl oh yeah yeah like there's a difference like i totally agree with kyle's point about the words and everything but yeah that's a difference. I totally agree with Kyle's point about the words and everything. But yeah, that's a different beast entirely. Yeah, Weinstein's getting canceled because he's been molesting people for 20 years. Bill Cosby got canceled, right? He drugged people and raped them. Yeah, that's why Taylor's never going to watch Lord of the Rings anymore. Well, it's never been proven.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Every morning they try and wake up Bill Cosby. It's a Weinstein company production right there oh i didn't know weinstein is behind some of the greatest movies of all time like i'll be watching like one of my favorite movies and right at the beginning a weinstein production and it's just like his name just all over these like great movies i'm having i'll have a hard time like pulling them out of my ass right now but tons of them tons of the greatest movies is that one what is it hunger games yeah i believe so because i think he fucked jay lau yeah yeah but yeah you're right about the
Starting point is 00:37:51 lord of the rings the only way i can explain her career i saw one hung i remember i saw the first hunger games i was in college and a friend of mine who smoked an outrageous amount of pot we went over to his place we were hanging out and he's like dude have you seen the hunger games it's so fucking sick and we sit down and there's like four of us watching and it was one of those things where one person really wants a group to watch a movie and we got like maybe 35 minutes in and he's just sitting there just kind of watching he's like guys i guys, I'm so sorry. This isn't at all how I remember it. And he just turned it off. So I don't know
Starting point is 00:38:30 how Hunger Games ends. I assume everything works out. Dude, it's a trilogy, first of all. It ends kind of like the Fellowship of the Rings ends on a goddamn cliff hanging. You know what it ends is when you turn it off after that guy has the cost of his case. But they did that thing that they do these days with trilogies where if it's
Starting point is 00:38:45 making money, they turn the last book into two books whether it needs it or not. I've read the books and I've seen the movie and it's not that good. It's not a well-informed opinion. That scene where he's in the stream and he uses his cake decorating techniques
Starting point is 00:39:01 to spend hours to disguise himself in one place like that is absurd just you couldn't have laid under leaves you're right you'd be better you had to be better than a hole in that time like he had to lay on mixed textures make it harder on himself what are you doing but yeah that movie is fucking stupid and they didn't like um in the book that guy was almost superhero lee strong in the movies i felt like they didn't he was kind of just lucky to be her friend oh my god they demonstrated strength by like oh yeah this guy can pick up a sack of flour did you know and it's like yeah can't, who can't pick up a 50 pound bag of flour and heave it onto another pile of
Starting point is 00:39:47 like flour. Like I just go to any home Depot in the country. I'm looking at all these Titans. These people are picking up bags of mulch over both shoulders. I think the problem with that part of why that's an unimpressive thing is because they didn't change it from the books to the movies, but they did change the age of the characters. So if everybody was like 10 12 years old and then one kid can pick up 50 pounds of flour like it's nothing it's like god damn he's the he-man of the of the child of the children we're gonna have fight to the death but they made everybody like
Starting point is 00:40:19 18 20 years old seemingly except for a couple of kids that hide out in the woods who you never get to see murdered. There's no child murder in this quadrilogy of movies about child murder. Yeah. They could have stepped up their child murder game. Oh, it's pathetic. Any movie where a child gets murdered goes up a point.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yeah, I think so. What's your favorite of the child murder films? Battle Royale. The movie that the whole thing is fucking based on. Battle Royale, the Japanese movie. Yeah. That's a fucking based on battle the japanese movie yeah that's a great movie i really liked that it's an okay movie if you go back and watch it suffers from some real budgetary issues because they keep teasing they keep saying like oh yeah we got to move to the next zone of the map because there's gonna be like an airstrike or something like that that'll move us but they don't have the budget
Starting point is 00:41:03 to show an airstrike so they're just like well let's hustle and like an airstrike or something like that that'll move us but they don't have the budget to show an airstrike so they're just like well let's hustle and like an airstrike never happens if there was a remake of that that was as edgy as that with like children like seducing each other and murdering each other that would be a hell of a movie and actually make them fucking children look if you don't want to deal with the topic and the subject matter of children fighting each other to the death then don't tackle it at all don't don't half-ass it don't don't say yeah yeah we're gonna have a movie about children fighting each other oh cool who are we gonna get to play the the older child oh well that's matthew mcconaughey oh okay and the youngest child that's toby mcguire okay put yourself in weinstein shoes though kyle and be like let's cast people i can fuck we're gonna have jennifer lawrence in this film and i can't name the other actors you guys know
Starting point is 00:41:58 me but we just need a whole roll of supple 19 to 21 year olds. Have you guys seen the Jeepers Creepers movies? Oh yeah, I've seen all of them. Directors are straight up pedophile, but still has work because he has time. Yeah. He actually did a movie with children and we'll say interesting scenes
Starting point is 00:42:19 in their underwear. Is that the same guy who directed Powder? I think that's the movie. It's about that that that albino kid with the lightning and he has like a like some sort of like telepathic powers or something because i remember growing up powder came out and like just hearing my grandmother my mother be like that's that pedophile movie and i in my head i'm like it's it's about like fucking little kids like i was like eight at the time i'm like i don't understand like i watched the movie because it was on hbo and it's about like this almost special needs albino kid who can like move things with his mind or something like
Starting point is 00:42:57 that and i'm like there was no sex in that movie i don't understand what mom and grandma are talking about but i think that it was directed by an actual pedophile. I think that's the movie I'm thinking of. Yeah, Victor Salva's the guy. He pled guilty to lewd and lascivious conduct and oral sex with a person under 14 and the procurement of child
Starting point is 00:43:18 and procuring a child for pornography. And the sentence prior says that he did, in fact, own a lot of his own child pornography. He served sentence prior says that he did in fact own a lot of his own child pornography. He served 15 months for that. 15 months? 15 months. Learned his lesson. I guess.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Jesus Christ. And he's still directing? He is, yeah. All the Jeepers Creepers, I think. And let me actually check IMDB real quick. You know, Blue's Clues. I'm trying to think of more kid shows. Dora the Explorer.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Yeah. He signs on to produce it and he's furious that she's in the cartoon. I thought this was a live action show with a five-year-old Mexican girl. So that's a good segue. Grab my backpack and leave. I got drunk as fuck the the other night and uh i started looking up blues clues lore just drunk and did you guys know that steve quit the show because he was going bald and he didn't want kids to see himself bald no yeah you should have got the
Starting point is 00:44:19 surgery i'm so pro hair restoration surgery now because I feel it's causing people actual mental anguish. Like guys in their early 20s realize like they see where they're headed. I guess you have to be 25 to get it. I don't know. Somebody wrote me on Reddit and said that you have to be 25. So some people aren't. But shit, if you're mad, you don't have hair. Or if you're sad, better yet, that you don't have hair.
Starting point is 00:44:44 It's like 10 grand. That's not an unattainable amount of money. Like, I know your car costs 25. You could have had a $15,000 car and a full head of hair. You know, like, you can find 10 grand, you know. I didn't know it was that cheap. Yeah, that's a good deal. I'm going to buy more plates, more dates video. It dates video it's not you know like i sourced it but but yeah and i think he said 8 to 12
Starting point is 00:45:10 actually so i just made it 10 but that's not like i don't know i i don't want to be look i know 10 grand isn't unattainable amount of money for some people but shit a lot of for a lot of people it's not and if you want to do it knock yourself out yeah for sure 100 if women can get breast implants i mean you know that should be like men's thing like the good kind of just i guess the good kind of plastic surgery in a way you know yeah the socially acceptable one yeah huh i don't know now i'm looking at the blues clues lore it's it's so interesting it's the spice family it's the spice family is called the shakers and they were just three or four of them until sage and ginger were born but they also are going out of their way on the blues clues Clues Wiki to make sure that you know that the
Starting point is 00:46:06 spice family are merely the containers, not the actual spicers. And if they preferred, they could change the spice they contain at any time, but that they choose to all contain different spices. So you got Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika
Starting point is 00:46:21 is the first daughter, Cinnamon, Ginger, Ginger and sage are the newborns and grandma cayenne is the maternal grandmother of paprika and cinnamon grandma cayenne it's so funny there's a whole paragraph explaining that they are not the spices themselves but the containers of the spices. I want to meet the person that wrote this and like, you know, verified it,
Starting point is 00:46:48 got it put on the wiki. Oh yeah. This is amazing stuff. I can't imagine the edits are, you know, really stringently tracked on the blues clues. Wikipedia. You'd be surprised,
Starting point is 00:46:59 man. You'd be surprised. Side table. I remember even at the time watching like the season one or two of blues clues being like damn side table has it rough he can't move he can't do anything it says a side table is very talented when it comes to singing and loves to perform on stage it's it's a side table named side table her singing pitch is around second soprano does it really say that it her singing pitch is around second soprano she can be shy at times and can unfortunately let her shyness get in the way of
Starting point is 00:47:31 her singing dreams she loves all kind of music especially rap whoa she loves rap music like she's a big booty bitch thanks to rap like nwa and shit oh absolutely that's that's her go-to okay okay the amount of trivia about the character's side table is unbelievable appears on screen once i can buy a magnet good to see they got marketing in there so I can buy a magnet. Good to see they got marketing in there. Oh, did you see Derek did
Starting point is 00:48:06 included us in his... Oh, we talked about that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. My bad. Oh, I've got a topic. Okay. Man, we can't get off porn. Mailbox loves to make others laugh and wants to be a comedian when he grows up.
Starting point is 00:48:24 He speaks with a thick New York accent. Son wins lawsuit. I'm reading the mailbox. Sorry, Taylor. Son wins lawsuit after mom throws away his best porno mags. Whoa. Right? Okay, I was expecting
Starting point is 00:48:41 him to be like 18, but he's 42. What a fucking loser. Using magazines? Yeah, it's 2020, man. There's no reset. Contends damages around $25,000. Who is buying used pornography magazines from a 42-year-old? Well, probably another 42-year-old pornography addict, I would guess.
Starting point is 00:49:01 All right, bad point, bad point. Buy them? No, they threw them away. No, I was saying that his point is, I could sold those that's 25 000 dollars in damages it was a trove of pornography and an array of sex toys that he thinks is worth 25 000 dollars i mean it's his property and i would be pissed if like my mom just came over to my house that i own that she's not a part of and, I don't know, took my PS5 and threw it in the trash. I don't think I would sue her over it.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I'd probably just, I don't know, challenge her to a duel or something. You demand satisfaction. I just watched that Simpsons today while I was eating dinner where he gets a dueling glove and he challenges everyone to a duel to get a headline. Then he accidentally hits some guy
Starting point is 00:49:48 trying to get in front of the line at Quickie Mart and he's like, I accept your duel, sir. Why'd I have to challenge someone to duel that says sir? He shows up and the guy's got Winchester Dueling Academy, the dueling club
Starting point is 00:50:04 on the back. Very funny. Love that show. Speaking of my mom, I thought about doing a YouTube video this Christmas where I invite my mom on to do like a dual commentary, like old school dual commentary on Call of Duty. And I want her to tell her Bigfoot story about how she short synopsis. She claims to have talked to Bigfoot with Morse code in Michigan. Right hand to God. Not only is Bigfoot real, but he's capable of communication in a form like Morse. It's not real Morse code. She claims that she heard him in the woods while she was camping.
Starting point is 00:50:48 He was knocking on a tree. She was knocking on a tree. Bunch of tree code going around. And she's dead serious. Does she know Morse code? No. My mom, no. My mom knows no code.
Starting point is 00:51:02 So maybe Bigfoot knows it and your mom doesn't but can't tell morse code what i mean by morse code is they were knocking on trees and she was probably just knocking with like a woodpecker or something you know honestly or a beaver but no claims to have seen anything no claims to have seen anything but just claims to have seen anything, but just to hear her. Her stories are incredible, but she's scared of the internet, so I need to ease her into things. What does she do for a living? She's the hoarder, right? Do I have that part? She's the hoarder.
Starting point is 00:51:35 She is a licensed contractor, actually. So she's very old school and builds houses and sells houses and stuff like that. She builds entire homes. Yes. So she really has it together for a big foot believing hoarder she does and she's she's she's pretty loaded and yet she thinks she's constantly like losing money so she's like a mr craps type you know she like makes money but she doesn't spend. So she'll buy one ply toilet paper and hoard beanie weenies from the Middle Ages. Her defense, real estate
Starting point is 00:52:12 is Easter famine. Do you believe in Bigfoot? Do I believe in Bigfoot? I'm not opposed to the idea. I'm not morally against it either i've got nothing against me as a christian i'm just offended you would ask
Starting point is 00:52:33 uh i mean i i don't not believe it's not i'm not really that interested in it honestly like it could be a thing i don't know i don't really care you know that's how i feel about it but yeah some people are really into it and more power to them you know yeah i don't know what that's about it's definitely not a bigfoot um like 100 there's not one um you know anybody that's watched enough joe rogan knows about the gigantopithecus you know that the creature that used to live like maybe 15 20 000 years ago or something like that that was essentially a Bigfoot. Somebody would have shot one by now. This is a creature
Starting point is 00:53:12 that supposedly lives in North America. Plenty of people up in the Northwest to shoot one of those motherfuckers. People go to Alaska and Canada all the time to hunt big game they're in the areas where this thing should be with rifles and you can't tell me some redneck wouldn't immediately start gunning that thing down if you saw it like oh yeah we would have a whole
Starting point is 00:53:37 exhibit dozens of them they'd be mounted on walls across the south if those things existed all these crazy things shift the burden of proof that's their typical debate style right prove to me that there isn't a bigfoot i think there's a bigfoot prove me wrong and then they just don't accept any of your evidence or yeah thoughts they're like flat earthers it does make more sense to because some people don't they believe that bigfoot is like one guy out there? Like a monster? Or is everybody like, oh, it's an entire species living in caves. It has to be a species. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:54:12 I'm going to text my mom and ask her what she... Is there one Bigfoot? Or are there Bigfeet? Brown feet! Do you believe in multiple Bigfoots? Bigfeet. Bigfeets? You don't want to? Bigfeet. Bigfeets? You don't want to sound uneducated.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Get it right. Bigfootin. What would a group of Bigfeet call? Like it's like a school, a murder, a pod. A stomp. It's a whole stomp. I like a stomp. A Bigfeet.
Starting point is 00:54:44 That's the best I have. A stomp. That's what that is. like a stomp a big feet that's the best i have that's the winner that's the winner right there end of discussion i don't need to go any farther um what i've probably asked this question before but i like these um what crypto creature or just you know it could be aliens could be ghosts like like what supernatural thing do you think has the best shot of being legit aliens go aliens that have visited earth yes aliens and ghosts both if i like okay well we ding ding ding we got a winner here okay so what you believe in go do you believe in ghosts are you saying that ghosts have the highest probability of being real when compared to something like the loch ness
Starting point is 00:55:30 monster loch ness monster i don't believe it exists at all uh well it did exist it was called a plesiosaur but yeah yeah i mean yeah modern day um it's it's complicated because i don't really so i'm one of those people like i don't believe it till i see it but i i accept that there's a high probability that you know what i mean i look at the evidence and i'm like oh yeah it's it's probably real it's probably a thing that could be you know um real but i gotta see it like my mom's house sorry if my mom keeps getting brought up but um my mom's house uh is is i believe it to be haunted but i don't believe in ghosts necessarily so do you think ghosts are like a dead person or more like an ethereal demon or an angel i got no. I don't even really believe in it.
Starting point is 00:56:26 It's just, I had weird shit happen at my mom's place when I lived there growing up. And does your mother believe in ghosts? Oh, a hundred percent. She's like conspiracy theory out the ass, man. Ghosts is 10 stops before Bigfoot.
Starting point is 00:56:40 She thinks, she legit thinks that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are, yeah, she legit thinks that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are gay. And that Barack Obama calls Michelle Obama Michael because she saw a video online. That's how like out there that is. Actually, my mom thinks that too. Yeah. So it's. I was I was trying to demonstrate to my mother. i don't want to derail you too far that she has believed in some crazy things in the past
Starting point is 00:57:13 and i was like you said michelle obama was a man and that she had a penis she was born a boy and always was a boy and and that's that and she's like i still think that's true all right you can buy her guns just yeah don't care um i want to i want to stay on the ghosts and demons things yeah you said that there was some stuff that happened at your mom's house when you were growing up what was that like a couple things you recall um probably the weird probably the weirdest one was um the way my oh my dog's here the probably probably the weirdest one was i the way my oh my dog's here the probably probably the weirdest one was i came home from college one day and this is midday like 4 p.m or so you know just got home from college uh community college because i'm a failure and uh i get home and and
Starting point is 00:58:00 i walk in and the way my mom's place is laid out, it's like an old farmhouse kind of thing. All the rooms are kind of connected. The kitchen's connected to the guest room, which is connected to a bedroom, which is connected to the hallway. It's like a circle. You can run around in it and make a Tom and Jerry cartoon almost. I come through the kitchen and like the side door and the guest room door is open and there's a bed behind that door and you can see through the crack in the door like the bed right and i walk in you know how you you walk in and you can kind of just like if somebody's in a house and you walk in you can kind of sense it it's almost like a sixth sense but you can
Starting point is 00:58:44 like if somebody was here in my house, like I could feel it. You feel like something's off. Yeah. You feel like something's off or whatever. So I come home and I'm thinking, it's just my mom, you know,
Starting point is 00:58:53 whatever. And I'm like, mom, is that you? And I look through the crack in the door and I see someone sitting on the bed, like through the crack. I can't get a good look at it,
Starting point is 00:59:04 but it looks like somebody sitting on the fucking bed, like sitting up on the bed. And I slowly round the corner and there's nothing there. And I look back through the door and it looks different. There's nobody there. Footsteps, loud fucking clomping footsteps. Heard a woman crying one night. When you heard someone crying, were you sleeping? Or was it coming it your room i uh i spilled soy sauce on my sock so i went to the bathroom to wash my sock
Starting point is 00:59:31 i'm dead dead serious and uh after i turned the water off like i was just doing in the bathtub you know after i turned the water off i heard a woman crying and i'm thinking is that the pipes i'm thinking logically like is that the pipes like what's going on here and it's like a you know a murmur like a whimper like a at first and then i stand up and i just i'm completely still and then 10 seconds later it happens again and it's coming from right underneath me which is the basement um and it was just i just went back to my room and went to sleep because i was like this is terrifying like i'm not gonna fuck it. I couldn't go back to sleep if there was a woman crying in my home.
Starting point is 01:00:07 It took a while. You didn't investigate more. You didn't grab a bat. I'll give you a reason to cry. Dude, shit would get knocked out of the cupboard. And I don't know if that's the ghost trying to tell my mom, like, hey, this shit's expired. Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:00:25 But... Reasonable ghost. and I don't know if that's the ghost trying to tell my mom like, hey, this shit's expired. Get the fuck out of here. But reasonable ghost it's all of this crap. Throw it away. It's the ghost of a body that she's hoarding somewhere. It's the ghost
Starting point is 01:00:42 of a flattened, fossilized cat. Come back. seek vengeance upon me. Did the crying sound like... You know, come to think of it? A little bit. Oh, God. Shit will get knocked out of the cupboard. My first reaction is,
Starting point is 01:00:59 somebody's breaking into the fucking house. I always look at the logical thing. Somebody's fucking breaking in. If I hear footsteps clomping, I'm like, God damn like god damn it gi joe just walked in my house and he's gonna kill me or something um so i would i would you know go through the house and flip on the lights with a fucking bat i actually used one of those cheap ass like um uh flea market samurai swords one time because i couldn't find the bat you know and i'm because i don't know what the fucking do like that's my first reaction never found anything so i at a certain point i just quit investigating and like going through the house with the bat because i'm
Starting point is 01:01:33 like shit's just gonna make noise and which it's gonna happen you know whatever um but yeah i never i never actually saw anything except that are you religious no not at all. You're from North Carolina and you don't have a gun? I have a gun, yeah. I was like 17 at the time. Oh, okay, okay. You're going to want to load that up with salt, rock salt. That's all that works against those ghosts. I've seen enough supernatural to know.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Rock salt. No, garlic doesn't work. That's a myth. Let's try to keep things factual. You're going to need rock salt No, garlic doesn't work. That's a myth. Let's try to keep things factual. You're going to need rock salt for the ghosts. Don't even bother with the garlic for the vampires. That doesn't work.
Starting point is 01:02:14 I don't remember. I haven't seen Supernatural lately. Have you had any supernatural feelings or vibes where you're currently living? Not really, no. No, nothing really. It's almost like little things that scurry in piles of trash are more common in the hoarder's house yeah that's a that's a good point um could definitely be a like a raccoon situation or something you know um i don't know this is a weird place it's an old farmhouse from like the 40s 50s
Starting point is 01:02:43 something like that she actually fixed it up, which if you're into the haunting lore, when you disturb an old place, that's when shit happens. It's actually right near a creek, which is another haunting lore thing. Any sort of running water, mineral deposits,
Starting point is 01:03:00 quartz, something that can provide energy. It's all... I'm not getting that into it. I was skeptic on it because so we my wife and i did this um ghost tour and there were people who honestly believe in ghosts telling us about their stories and the renovation is part of it they're like this so there i was and then suddenly i felt a chill it's like the temperature dropped 15 degrees like yeah because there's a hole in the wall right like that that would cause this and um the renovation kicking it off it was like yeah that's when you have like air that blows door closed or things that make it cold it makes perfect sense i've uh i can remember in the past
Starting point is 01:03:38 like waking up at night and hearing a noise somewhere in the house and being like, all right, there is no way I can go back to sleep. This noise has to be found out. Like, there's no way, like, I'm afraid because I don't know what that noise was. And I would get a gun and I would like, almost with, I would be angry at the noise for scaring me. I'd be like, I'm going to find you motherfucker. Like, and you better not be an intruder. I'm going to murder you right now. I'd be so upset that something has frightened me out of my sleep. And I would go room to room and closet to closet and look in all the scary places. I'd go up in the attic, the last place in the world I wanted to go.
Starting point is 01:04:18 And I'd just be like, someone's going to pay. I hope it's not a ghost. I hope it's something that bullets affect. But something's going to go down. That happened to me recently. You never never in the last year so when um so the things that i have found that they were like making the noise it most of the time it's a situation where a window's been left open and the and the the wind is kind of making the blinds like go like move enough that occasionally it's making a noise or um or like there's a piece of aluminum foil that's like sitting on the kitchen counter and the air vent is such that it's making it wobble
Starting point is 01:04:50 every two minutes and it's making a noise um and i found uh there was a bat in the attic once okay and uh i think there was a possum one time outside like in the garage that was stuck in a garbage can like it's always something but i always had to like find out what the fuck is going on because i do the same thing you said like you're walking around like making threatening gestures and i part of it is because like i'm amping myself up because i'm like afraid if something were to happen i remember like because my my girlfriend will be sometimes like something there was a noise in the basement and i'm like there absolutely wasn't and she's like you have to go check and like to keep my
Starting point is 01:05:27 light like i'll be going in the basement it's like when i find you i'm gonna rape you and that made me and her both laugh and it's like what if you just heard from down in the basement, bring it on, big boy! I would love to hear if you just hear running after that. If you're down there, I'm going to rape you and you just hear footsteps just bolting up. But they're getting closer.
Starting point is 01:05:58 He caught my bluff! He caught my bluff! He's just sprinting out of the house. When you were saying that there might have been a raccoon situation, blame you for it. It reminded me of one of my, or a bunch of my good friends were in the,
Starting point is 01:06:10 one of the same fraternities in college. And it was this dilapidated piece of shit house. And they had a live in raccoon, a wild raccoon. It wasn't meant to live there, but it broke into the attic and threw holes in the ceiling and like crawling around. And they called it little hisser because it would come down and hiss at you.
Starting point is 01:06:29 And one of my buddies says he was laying on the top bunk and it was only like a seven and a half foot ceiling. So he's got this much clearance between him and the ceiling as he's laying on his back. There's a hole directly above him. And the way he tells it is that he thought he heard like like whispering like a little whisper and he opened his eyes and he saw a raccoon in the dead of night staring down at him and he jumps out and it rustles around a little more and somehow it ends up in the hallway with like four in that period between drunk and hungover like frat guys with brooms trying to fight and usher this guy out.
Starting point is 01:07:08 And they said he was so difficult to get out of the house because they are sly and they're faster than us. And they have hands. Yeah. You try and poke it with a broomstick. Don't think so. It just takes it away. Now he's got a broomstick. He's got a broomstick. It's like a moody cat with fucking
Starting point is 01:07:23 hands. Yeah. And like real babies. Yeah. Yeah. Wild animal. So it's like a moody cat with with fucking hands yeah yeah and like real babies yeah yeah wild animal so it's not it's not going to get upset when you hurt it it's just going to get angrier yeah i don't have a lot of experience with raccoons like like there's plenty growing up like around me people like to hunt them which i always thought was kind of cruel it's like the whole way you hunt them is bullshit they They chase them with dogs and the dog trees them. It scares the thing until it climbs up in a tree, which is its defense mechanism. And they shoot it out of the tree,
Starting point is 01:07:51 but not to kill, just to wound it enough so that now it has to fight the dogs to the death. It's a huge thing. Who's doing that? The only time I remember my grandpa... Tons and tons of people. It's very popular. My grandpa only went coon hunting
Starting point is 01:08:03 when he was complaining about his garbage or stuff getting rustled into by raccoons. Coon dogs and coon hunting is a good thing. I had a friend in Alberta who raised coon dogs. Apparently they were very good. But I didn't realize that... I guess I knew they'd treat them.
Starting point is 01:08:20 And then I thought they shot them out of the tree. To wound them out of the tree and have the dogs kill them. It just seems like a mean step. Are you sure they're not being a bad shot? No, I'm positive. That's that's the goal. The goal is to wound it so that it falls out of the tree and has to fight the dogs.
Starting point is 01:08:36 I told you my grandpa killed a coon and he I was maybe six or seven and he strung it up by the tail on a tree in his backyard. And he like cut around the asshole of it. And he was like, Tyler, come here. And like, I was six or seven and he goes, look at this.
Starting point is 01:08:51 And he grabs it with his big meaty Southern Missouri farmer hands. And in one pull, like rolling a condom off, just, and it's just the, all the skin hanging from the, the, the wrists of it. i don't know what the hell he was doing with the meat it was dead right yeah oh yeah it was dead obviously dead
Starting point is 01:09:13 you think that's bad let me tell you what we do in missouri i feel like we fish and stuff, there's some weird shit. You boil alive crabs and lobsters, I think. Yeah, but that's not even necessary. There's no reason to do that. You can just kill them easily and put them out of their misery.
Starting point is 01:09:36 I've always killed my lobsters before I boil them. It's something about premier freshness or whatever. With fish, I feel like they get tortured on their way down sometimes. You could kill it on the boat but no we'll just keep it in like a really tiny container with a bunch of other ones fish i don't give a shit about because i feel like fish are just like so fucking dumb and and like being in that tank of water like the way that we keep fish alive is you run a uh a string through their through in their mouth and like out the gills and uh wow and it and you like leave them in the body of water so they're like down there
Starting point is 01:10:10 fine like in the pond or whatever you caught them in and then you like pick them up by the string with 10 catfish on it hopefully yeah yeah and to kill them you literally hit them in the head with like a little they're not happy in water, in that little cooler you put them in. I'm not running a fun camp for catfish here. That's the thing, though. You're not keeping them in the cooler, though. It's usually tied to a tree by the pond or lake or whatever, and then you string it all through, and then you just,
Starting point is 01:10:41 until you're ready to clean them, you throw the big bundle of all tied up fish back into the lake, and it just hangs down the lake. And then you grab when you're ready to clean them you throw the big bundle of all tied up fish back into the lake and it just hangs down the lake and then you grab when you're done and you pull them all out and i remember my girlfriend the first time she saw how you kill a catfish catfish and it is i've seen it a hundred times i've done it it is it is a brutal it's like you take you take a claw hammer and then you just boom! Right on the top of the head. I used a bat. A bat? Claw hammer seems to be the smallest thing. The St. Louis boys
Starting point is 01:11:12 use hammers, Kyle. They use a claw hammer. For all sorts of things. I was thinking more of the boat situation where you catch a fish and then you torture it in this little cooler where they slowly suffocate because there's not enough water for them yeah even off boats we still like keep the string so they're just hanging off the side yeah generally and then you don't have anything but oh you should we do i
Starting point is 01:11:36 mean we do that with everything though like like although like i usually when we fish we just threw them back in we just catch and release all day like almost net only one time i think ever have we like caught fish to eat and uh and it was just kind of like i think it was like right when maybe some survival shows were starting to come out like in the early in the early 2000s and my cousin and i were literally like hey let's catch our dinner tonight let's let's let's catch a fish, kill it, skin it, cook it. Let's make that our dinner. Why wouldn't you eat what you catch?
Starting point is 01:12:11 We just throw them back in the pond. It's like a sport of it. It's just like a competition kind of deal. Yeah, it's just fun to catch them. And it was our pond that was like stocked with catfish. We bought the catfish and put them into the pond to begin with. with cat you know we bought the catfish and put them into the pond to begin with uh we bought like 2 000 catfish that were like you know six or eight inches long and put them in the cafe in the pond and then you know five years later you've got a mat it's just so easy to catch them
Starting point is 01:12:37 and they're enormous yeah my kids keep getting bigger so i just i would fish in the ocean that's where i grew up and uh we always ate what we caught we go fishing or crabbing and i'm not an experienced guy but like you know it'd be like yes woody the hunter gatherer who looks forward to puberty has fed us all tonight like that was my thing i was the same i imagine more like kramer when he when he when he found those lobster pots and just stole all the lobster out of them. They were just standing there down by the beach. I always wanted to cook
Starting point is 01:13:10 what I caught too. I wouldn't cook it, but my grandma always had a standing order where it's like, whatever you cook or whatever you catch, bring it in here. I'll fry it up for you right away. It's so fucking good. Every time I catch a catfish or a sunfish or whatever it was that was in there, it's just like damn and i remember as a kid trying to like wager with my
Starting point is 01:13:29 grandpa where i'd be like this one definitely has a couple bites on it grandpa and he's like it's too little throw that bitch back and like oh i gotta catch another one to get more meat and like but other times it was just a king's ransom of like enormous catfish and you had fish all it's fried catfish is really good it is so do you ever catch big ones like like the noodling people catch yeah the uh the where you so that's where you stick your hand under under logs and in like uh be uh like like uh holes and in the bank so in my dad's pond it's the same pond that like if you saw one of my videos the one i'm like shooting guns into and like I blew a boat up in and all that nonsense. Um, all of our like neighbors who would fish on Lake Hartwell, if they caught a really
Starting point is 01:14:14 big catfish, they would bring it to us and put it in our pond. So there were like 50 to 80 pound catfish in our pond at one point. Massive catfish. Like as long as your fucking leg and their heads just literally as big as your whole face. Like, like their head is almost as big as your, a human head. They're enormous.
Starting point is 01:14:35 It's like a sweet spot of size for a catfish. Like if it gets too big, it starts to taste weird. Yeah. Yeah. We wouldn't eat anything that was over like 10 pounds like a 10 pound catfish is a really big catfish it's a huge fish yeah it's gonna meat on it and like that's i think that's about where we topped out for catching herb
Starting point is 01:14:54 we would eat like six pound catfish like stuff like that like it's plenty of food to eat like you're not obviously it's not six pounds of meat like once you've cleaned it and done everything and cooked it it's did you perfect. Did you ever have bluegill in there too? No, we just had catfish and brim. There was no – I don't know what the correct – is it crappy or crappie? I think it's crappie. Yeah, there were none of those in there. Some of our neighbors had that stuff in their ponds,
Starting point is 01:15:19 but we had all blue catfish and channel catfish and what we called mud cats which were like a dark brown color we we had all kinds of still do i guess in their their ponds but uh the the bluegills like those little fish yeah like the only you could hardly get any meat off of even a really big one but it fries up like tastier than anything in a restaurant it's you know what i'm talking about before yeah it's it's super fucking good. They're usually pretty small, though. I think they're like the size of maybe your hand. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:52 You get one the size of your hand that weighs like a pound and a half, two pounds. You're like, damn, that's a winner of a bluegill. That's huge. There's something weird about NC where we have the biggest fucking catfish ever. I'm going to send you guys a little article. This was this year actually. Just gigantic fucking catfish. About 80 pounds.
Starting point is 01:16:13 52 inches. Yeah. They look almost like sharks. That's huge. Yeah. And that was this year. How old is that thing? I don't know. How long do they live? A dinosaur. I feel like they can live
Starting point is 01:16:27 forever. They're one of those crocodile style animals. They just keep going. Oh, interesting. They just get bigger and bigger I guess. A well's catfish can live 60 years? Holy shit. That's unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:16:43 It seems like if they get big enough that they just outgrow any predator other than us they just kind of keep living until they're too big to even function or swim around yeah i mean these are these are huge 120 pounds fucking 60 inches long like god damn enormous that's too big though it wouldn't taste very good no that would taste like shit that's the other thing like catfish are like the scavengers of freshwater bodies they eat like everything that drop that floats to the or sinks to the bottom of the water they're eating all that dead rotten dead things they're that's why you gotta fry them nobody would ever saute a fillet of catfish
Starting point is 01:17:25 can you imagine well and this is something that people don't know like some people are like oh catfish is disgusting it's like what you need to do is after you fillet it and clean it you leave it for like an hour plus in ice cold salt water and that'll leach out a lot of that fish taste or all the blood and the leach, you know, and the kind of fishy taste of it. It'll be 10 times better. Don't they breathe in the,
Starting point is 01:17:51 do they breathe air catfish? I feel like they can survive on the side of a lake, like in the dirt for 10 hours or something. They can survive up until the hammer comes out. We hit them a long time before 10 hours can transpire. But now I know what you're talking about. I think there's some African catfish that does this thing because it's not all of them.
Starting point is 01:18:13 I don't know. Okay. But, but I know this particular, there's that African catfish that because like in the dry season, the bodies of water shrink, they'll like hop over to like the next pond or whatever. Oh, like the st pond or whatever. Oh,
Starting point is 01:18:25 like the stigial legs that kind of, yeah, I think so. But yeah, that was a big part of growing up was like fishing for catfish, but only eight, only like caught, killed and ate one,
Starting point is 01:18:38 uh, that literally that one time and it did not end well. So before we jumped in, they can survive as long as their skin's moist. I'm sorry, Taylor. Oh, it's okay. We're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA is brought to you by our good friends over at Squarespace. From personal blogs
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Starting point is 01:22:38 So go ahead and do that. If you do do that, I recommend the Tadalafil. And I made mine the nine milligram Tadalafil. So I get 30 of those a month. I'm going to re-up mine, bump it up a little bit. Get those vasodilating benefits. So I need to do that.
Starting point is 01:22:56 And lower your blood pressure. True. Well, lower my cholesterol. Can't help there. Can't help there. So you're just going to have to stop eating deli meats. No, I'm going to take blue cheese. That doesn't help there. You're just going to have to stop eating deli meat. I'm going to take blue cheese. That doesn't help.
Starting point is 01:23:08 Don't tell me what to do. Your cholesterol is just egregious. Yeah, but look how hard I am. Doc, have you seen? You've been erected even in the waiting room, sir. Do I look like I have circulatory issues, Doc? No, I was going to compliment you, actually. You're calcified.
Starting point is 01:23:30 Not these ones, eh, Doc? I just won't take it seriously. Anyway, what were we going to jump to? I don't know. I'm going to run to the restroom, but then you guys should do a little lead-up banter for the calf off. I would love to run to the restroom, but then you guys should do a little lead-up banter for the calf off.
Starting point is 01:23:45 I would love to see the calf. Yeah, I don't know what to say. I would make a terrible UFC fighter because I feel like instead of selling this fight, I'm going to be like, man, I don't know what I'm in for. What if his calves are everything he promised them to be? I mean, Jon Jones has the worst calves I've ever seen, and he's the fucking best.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Yeah, he's deadlifting like 750, 850 pounds or something like that with seemingly no calves. Yeah, he's got none. Does it take much calves to do deadlifting? I mean, stabilization. It's not like it does. It's a lot of back and quads andads and glutes but still like you would think i mean he squats a ton too i mean there's some calves need to be there but i guess yeah it's it's just like you wouldn't
Starting point is 01:24:36 expect someone who's like doing those heavy ass leg exercises to essentially have no calves he has those long legs they're very long i think maybe it's deceiving because i don't know what i'm running into here with blame truth but if there was a calf off with john jones i'd be talking mad smack oh yeah you totally win see my thing is that um i'm not that short for a male five eight or so but for whatever reason i have a really long torso but like fucking i don't know just short ass legs like so rather than take your muscles and stretch them out and look skinny they're squat and yeah like my legs are really just compact so fire hydrant legs yeah how are you gonna show your calves i was to pull a chair over and get them on camera.
Starting point is 01:25:28 I mean, I can just stretch my leg up. I mean, I got many ways I could do it. I'm trying to look for something I could prop them up on. We'll figure out something. I mean, I think I got you beat, though. They're pretty nuts. They're pretty nuts, huh? I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but they're pretty nuts, yeah. We may have to end up measuring calves at some point.
Starting point is 01:25:49 Like, I wish that you both had tape measures. I could come up with a tape measure. I don't know how accurately I'd measure them, but my wife has them for clothing and stuff. You know, the flexible tape measure that seamstress would have. The one that's like, yeah, that's like floppy. Yeah. I may have one in my toolkit, but I'll have to check.
Starting point is 01:26:10 I'm looking around here. I don't know. And what is the judging criteria? Are we looking for the dual heads? Circumference. Just circumference. Well, at least, see, I don't agree, actually. Because in a measurement like that, I think Wings of Redemption would be both of us.
Starting point is 01:26:24 In terms of just pure mass. He has really big calves. But I would argue that I have nicer calves because it's got the like butt formation. Yeah. I mean, like if Wings of Redemption Challenge is tailored to a bicep competition, I guess you're right. I guess we can't really go by a measurement cause wings probably has like right. 30 inch biceps,
Starting point is 01:26:48 but I'm not sure, but, but he can't curl 30 pounds. So it's like, I guess like a bodybuilding thing, like aesthetic and size combination of the two. Yeah. I think because you guys would like reason both,
Starting point is 01:27:04 you know, fit that like circumference should really knock us out of the park because we're not going to deal with any fat content on your leg you know you're not you know a wings redemption scenario although his calves are like absurd he held an xbox controller up to him once and I was like oh he does have big calves like a like a marble statue or something that isn't quite finished yet. Are you ready to do this, Blame Truth? I think the time for talk is over.
Starting point is 01:27:34 Let's do it. Do you have a ruler? We're going to eyeball this first. Let's eyeball it and see if it's even close enough to measure. Or a tape measure. Here we go. Gentlemen, present your calves. I'm going to try to angle this properly.
Starting point is 01:27:55 Let me Captain Morgan this, actually. Obviously, Kyle and I will be the judges. The judging criteria will include aesthetic, circumference and personal likability it's over oh Blanchard's got some good calves
Starting point is 01:28:12 yeah I don't do anything to them just wait I know keep flexing keep it up because we need to see. That's what I'm talking about. That's the calf champion of the world right over there.
Starting point is 01:28:40 That man can step on stage, and as long as they only look at his calves, he's going to the top three. Goodness. Look at those. Yeah, those are those i can see i can see he's got separation like like he's got muscle insertion for his calf yes it's a v that man has horseshoe calves on their tricep back here i told you when i saw, look, you have nice calves. Blaine, truth, they're much better than my calves. My calves are like, I have John Jones calves.
Starting point is 01:29:10 But when I saw those calves, I was like, I'm shocked. Both of you have better calves than Kyle and I, but what is deep V muscle insertion? It looks like you've been only training
Starting point is 01:29:27 like if you're like all right monday calf day what's your regimen i'm doing a four-day calf split ccc split calf pushes tomorrow's calf i had my head set off but i couldn't really see blainter's too well because i i didn't want to take forever to get up on my chair yeah i don't know how things are going and then like i finally am able to stand on a toe when i hear this laughter bust out i'm like i think i'm winning this i remember i remember what what he and i were at this special forces training ground one time in arkansas and uh they, they had like this, um, like a bootcamp ropes course. And, uh, there was like a thing where you like climb a rope, like up fairly high, like
Starting point is 01:30:12 maybe 25 feet or something like that. And I'd never climbed a rope in my life. I still haven't. I don't think, I don't think I can, can now. And we was just like, huh? And this is like 35 year old Woody maybe. And no, it wasn't that long ago. It must have been 38 or something.
Starting point is 01:30:27 Yeah, 38, 39-year-old Woody. And he's like, hmm, a rope, huh? He's like up this rope and knows how to climb the rope. He's doing that thing where one foot's pinching the rope on top of the other. And I was just like, look at those calves. Because the calves were climbing the rope for him i just remember watching him go all the way to the top slap the top of this thing and then shimmy back down being like huh well there's no following that act i had a family
Starting point is 01:30:57 member like bring up the show and they were like doing like the asking about people and being like i know you do it with uh that other guy who's like in his early like, I know you do it with the other guy who's like in his early thirties. And then you do it with that one guy who looks like he's maybe like 39 or 40. And I was like, Woody was like, he's 47. And they're like,
Starting point is 01:31:13 really? I got to tell him that that's really very immature. Cause I listened to audio only. I thought he was 17, 18. Kyle 18 i hadn't climbed a rope since high school but i was always really good at it like all through my childhood and stuff and i used to be really good at front handsprings and they were just taken away from me when i wasn't looking and i wasn't sure if i was going to thoroughly embarrass myself on that like i don't know how this is going to work out but uh i guess i could still climb ropes i'm good no you absolutely showed off it was very impressive when you did
Starting point is 01:31:49 it i was thinking like i wish that some of those like the guys that work here were around so they could have seen that so that they'd know what woody was about um you never know like like some people you think oh but that guy's a badass and they could do all sorts of things and they can't and then someone like you who like is like the toughest guy in IT, you shimmied right up that motherfucker like Spider-Man. In my gold shorts. Oh, perfect example is that when I did that thing for Medal of Honor that year, there was a new Medal of Honor game.
Starting point is 01:32:21 The competition you hosted. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah. Yeah, we had that competition at my house where we had like four or five special forces guys like real ones and then we had four or five like professional ish gamers you know like like x jaws was one of them but also there was some kid who was like a pro halo player and uh tommy that owns um um, phase clan, uh, was in there too. And so like, like basically they help each other do what the other was good at. So the military guys were helping the gamers shoot guns and the gamers were helping the military guys play games competitively.
Starting point is 01:32:56 Those military guys, when the cameras weren't rolling, we're just getting embarrassed all fucking day long by me. Like I had a crowd of my friends watching and look, I would never talk shit in front of someone at all. I think I've said this before, but just because it's funny, my friends were not as polite. Like my friends were talking to producers and they're like,
Starting point is 01:33:22 where'd you find these fellas? Like, I got a couple of redneck boys over here that show them all what's up. You know, talking about like Scott, my cousin Scott and Jeremy. Because like, those guys were awful. Like every shooting skills, shooting guns. Okay. Fucking shooting guns and like handling guns and loading guns. And like, I think there was like one day where like they actually had to compete with guns
Starting point is 01:33:48 and uh i don't remember exactly what it was but seems like you had to go down a zip line um hop off run maybe 50 75 yards so you'd be a bit out of breath grab the rifle throw the magazine in it and you had like 10 rounds in the, in the, in the gun. And you had like maybe five targets to shoot. And the targets were close ish, like 25 yards away. And they were about pie plate size. And you had just hit five targets. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:34:20 It was embarrassing. Cause like, first I did it because like, I'm the host of the show. So like every time we do a challenge i'm the host of the show so like every time we do a challenge first i'll do it and be like ah this is what we're doing and like so i kind of show the audience like what to expect leading up to this you know come going forward so i go down the zip line i do a little run i grab the gun boom boom boom boom boom i hit all the targets and with one shot each and then it's their turn one of the guys so again there's like 10 rounds in the gun but there's like a pile of bullets on the table just for like aesthetics
Starting point is 01:34:51 just like you know it looks nice to have a big pile of loose ammunition sitting there and he's having to reload the magazine he's having to keep loading and like he has three targets to hit and he's already shot 14 times or something like that. And like he doesn't know how many bullets to put in. Like how confident are you in yourself at this point now that you've missed it five times in a row? So he's just like at first he's like put three bullets in the magazine for three targets. Boom, boom, boom. Hits one.
Starting point is 01:35:18 Now there's two targets left. He's out of ammo again. He's just like, all right, maybe I'll put five in this time. And that kept repeating. And we're all just like all right maybe i'll put five in this time and that kept repeating and we're all just like what the fuck and i think they edited it down to make them look like not idiots but we all saw what happened was he unfamiliar with the platform like like ar-15 oh never mind if people don't know ar-15 would be the one they would use in the military i i yeah i was thinking to myself well maybe, maybe when he first started,
Starting point is 01:35:46 he was incompetent with a shotgun or something. Yeah, it was. I mean, it was like a fancy one. It was a Daniel Defense. I think it was the DDM-4 in 6.8 SPC. Caliber doesn't matter. It's just a cool caliber with like a nice Trijicon ACOG scope on it, three and a half power. So, like, I don don't know kind of my go-to for medium range ar shooting and uh
Starting point is 01:36:12 i mean how far was the shot so close dude like so close like 25 yards or something couldn't have been 35 yeah like i could have hit the shots with my bow. They were standing. Yeah. Yeah. Although I think one of them ended up propping up. One of them was an actual sniper in the Marine Corps. And instead of loading the magazine,
Starting point is 01:36:35 he put the bullets one at a time into the chamber and it's an AR. So like, that's not even like a smooth thing to do no matter what you're doing. Oh, that was the thing. The magazine wasn't loaded at all when you started. So you had to, from the very beginning, either be very confident in yourself or give yourself enough because like you estimate your capabilities. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:00 And if you're wrong, it costs you. But if you underestimate, it also costs you. So it's this sort of mental game that we mixed in. Yeah, that was embarrassing. That was super embarrassing. Like, like, plenty of the gamers struggled as we went through it. But it was like, these guys have never shot a gun before. Like, like, nobody's gonna judge them. I remember Tommy was just like, real upset one day, because, you know, he's, he's the leader of phase clan, he's supposed to be like the most elite sniper in cod and you know he's struggling with a real gun but it's just like dude nobody's gonna care nobody's gonna like me and hex are over there like dude nobody's gonna fucking care if you miss the target you know five times in a row ten times in a row have you ever shot an m14 before tommy no exactly exactly like nobody fucking cares but when those guys got up and just seriously don't fuck this up dude you know i i'm gonna be not i'm gonna say something nice no matter what i'm not an asshole but like when those guys went out there it was just absurd
Starting point is 01:37:58 that was that was the most embarrassing thing i'd ever seen well who would have thought they wouldn't send their seal team six sniper out to the gaming event i mean shooting iranian scientists apparently wait i thought that was it do they use a drone for that or not i heard they did and i don't know i heard they used some sort of remote shooting platform that was controlled by a satellite that that is what I heard. I shouldn't have worked with my joke format. I've got a video up that's from a very similar thing, that remote shooting thing. It's, you know, you've got like a,
Starting point is 01:38:36 I'm sure I don't have what they had, or they don't have what I had, but I got this big remote control with like a TV screen on it or an LCD screen on it. And from really any range for that receiver, I can control really accurately a machine gun. It's just like playing a video game. So they think Israel shot the guy. Yeah, Israel.
Starting point is 01:38:57 Yeah. I assumed it was us at first. Well, I mean, Israel does those things for us. That's why we pay them. That sounds right I work together all the time on everything so I was interested in so Blame Truth I follow your Twitter obviously
Starting point is 01:39:12 and every time the new COD comes out you are like the roast master general of the new Call of Duty and I think I haven't played any multiplayer kyle's maybe played a little bit i think woody's only played zombies also no i played a little you played a little bit what is you know because i know a lot of listeners are interested in this what is
Starting point is 01:39:34 so fucking bad about this that you hate it because i've never done zombies is cool i like zombies is great yeah zombies is fucking great the multiplayer is oh god where to begin it's complete fucking ass it's for one they had to make the game Treyarch didn't make all of it
Starting point is 01:39:57 Sledgehammer was making it and then Treyarch took over like seven months before release so we essentially bought a beta like multiplayer wise. Like I think there's eight maps that launch something like that. Nine maps, something like that. Ran like shit,
Starting point is 01:40:16 skill-based matchmaking, which is a big problem. Nobody likes it. Why is it a bad thing? Why is it a bad thing? Best way I can put it is everybody here has played COD. Before, you would hop into a multiplayer game. You could play with whoever.
Starting point is 01:40:32 If you were playing with somebody shitty, you could carry them. If you were playing with somebody better, they could carry you. You know, whatever. It was casual. Very casual. Now, they've included skill-based matchmaking where you're playing clones of yourself. Essentially, the game tries to get the most even match possible. Everybody's KD is one.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Everybody's KD is one. That's what the game's trying to do. But the problem with that is you don't... I don't necessarily hate that, but you don't get anything for it. It's still the same casual COD level-up system. So you're going to level up whether you... You know what what i mean like you're gonna level up no matter what why do i not get rewarded for putting in the time for the past 12 years to get better with some kind of in-game reward something it's like they don't know what they want to be they have this and they're not
Starting point is 01:41:22 talking about it it's hidden It's a hidden system. So it's pretty much there just to protect new players from getting cock stomped or whatever by more seasoned people. But there's no reward for the seasoned people. Because again, you're going to rank up no matter what. There's no incentive to get better because the way I see it is, oh, if I try really hard, I'm just going to rank up no matter what. There's no incentive to get better because the way I see it is, oh, if I try really hard,
Starting point is 01:41:48 I'm just going to get harder lobbies. Like, what's the point? Skill-based Mac making seemed to kick into overdrive in the previous COD. I don't know if this one's even more, but it was a big deal last time. I couldn't even tell if I was good or getting better because every game, I was just kind of level you know i could
Starting point is 01:42:06 tell this i used to play on stream with subscribers and they were good they were very good they would have great games and when i'm in their games i'm just getting bullied i was straight up bullied by them and there was a there was a sorry to interrupt but there was a thing uh it was like a post it was a comment on one of my fucking videos that said this it was just this guy's kid and he said he called his dad and his dad was like upset because he was trying to play with um this guy's brother like his his other son but this guy's brother was pretty damn good and And like, it's trying to even out everybody, the skill level or whatever. So the,
Starting point is 01:42:48 the brother's too good to play with the dad. Like the dad's not very good. So the brother can't just carry him because it's just trying to match everybody up to the point where everybody gets a one Katie and the final score is 99 to 99 in TDM, you know? And he said like like, his dad basically just swore off the series after that.
Starting point is 01:43:09 He's just like, I can't even play with my son to enjoy myself because of the system. So is it actually protecting new players if they can't play with anybody better or they still get cock stomped? Another guy said something similar to his girlfriend. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:43:24 Yeah, and again, there's no rewards. There's no casual and ranked mode like every other fucking game has. Like Rainbow Six Siege, one of the most competitive shooters was past fucking decade even. Casual and ranked. Why doesn't COD have it? I bought the game on release
Starting point is 01:43:40 and I haven't touched multiplayer and I don't plan to. I've been playing a shit ton of zombies. Zombies is great. At some point I'll knock the campaign out just because I've beaten every COD campaign since 2. Yeah. But yeah, zombies is excellent this year
Starting point is 01:43:56 but so buggy, so buggy. And it's not even like I don't know anything about game programming, game design even but whatever they did when they when they like made the new zombies is is still there like when they add new content like like recently they um they added like a christmas skin to a bunch of shit it broke a bunch of other shit like they're having to like patches constantly to like oh
Starting point is 01:44:25 we broke that shit i guess making dogs like reindeer just cripples the whole system huh oh no one's getting xp oh when you when you pack a bunch your gun now all the attachments fall off that's the new one by the way yeah when you pack a punch the gun the attachments fall off onto the floor or anything you're can you pick them back up no i mean they're there but you can't the attachments are like actual items that come out of the fucking machine and land on the ground it's like if i put it's like putting your gun in a blender and it spits out shit you know like you can't put it back together it's not tarkov you'd be like oh let me get my parts together and screw them back on.
Starting point is 01:45:06 I need a multi-tool. It all came from them wanting to add sparkly Christmas lights on the dog. Essentially, yeah, to boil it down. They made the game over 15 Zoom calls. I said this in the commentary. They made the game over 15 Zoom calls on a fucking company breakfast at Denny's.
Starting point is 01:45:22 So yeah, it's going to be buggy as shit. And I've just been... I mean, people love it on YouTube. YouTube's doing fantastic. I saw it. I saw it. You're getting recommended to me. Oh, cool. Yeah, I'm getting like around 100,000 views a video,
Starting point is 01:45:36 sometimes more, which is great. That's awesome. Yeah, making good money. I would rather my channel get half the fucking views and have a goddamn good game though. Go to Blaine's channel and do the thing views and have a goddamn like good game though. Like honestly, channel and do the thing that Kyle said, click on the biggest playlist and let it run while you're at school or while
Starting point is 01:45:52 you're not at school. I was ahead of my time. I just, all sorts of stuff like that. You know, people would be like, ah, yeah,
Starting point is 01:45:58 but I can't, I'll be at school. I don't give a shit where you are. It's about what your computer's doing. I used to want to say stuff like that. Like, I had the idea of make my YouTube channel your homepage, but I would have gotten hosted forever suggesting. I told them to do it. I know, but you could do things.
Starting point is 01:46:17 White Boy could do things. And people thought it was funny or they'd even do it. If I didn't make money accidentally, then suddenly i was super roasted people get oh i was always just like i am here for money when the money stops so will i pay up by the way i'm upgrading to the xbox one who wants to buy my xbox 360 for more than retail i sold it for 350 dollars jesus i remember in like 2012 having some people being like dude taylor's just selling out for money and i was like i wish i could screenshot my payouts so that you would look like a retard i'm getting spending money like i'm
Starting point is 01:47:02 i'm rolling in dough with my with my video that I tried to run ads on for Hurricane Sandy, and all the ads got turned off immediately. No. All my... I mean, if you look at the early FPS Russia videos, every one of them is clickbait. Like, right after they killed Osama bin Laden in real life... I remember that. I went and bought an Osama bin Laden target
Starting point is 01:47:25 and had a close-up of it so it looks like Osama bin Laden, like the real Osama bin Laden. I think it was called Osama bin Laden, footage of Osama bin Laden being killed or something like that. Osama gets shot. Extra, extra.
Starting point is 01:47:42 It made it to the front page. Do you know how many people click that thinking that it was related to the obama administration taking out osama bin laden yeah but no one was disappointed when they got there that's the trick like you can't make bullshit you can't get there and it's just like and it's nothing that's the secret yeah you gotta you gotta clickbait but then you gotta have something that justifies that. Well, this isn't why I was, is that a Russian guy? What's he doing? Wait,
Starting point is 01:48:09 a three 60 no scope. You say, well, all right. I'm, I'm tuned in. Man, this guy's really good at faking a Russian accent.
Starting point is 01:48:22 Yeah. Like, I think I call, like I made a video where I shot jugs of water and i called it big wet jugs yeah you know like in my memory i ran a very clean channel that didn't clickbait that was above all that i look back at some of my titles no i didn't i ran a quick i'm like oh mail monday on bloody ejaculate i remember i did do that didn't i yeah monday it was like something something else and masturbating
Starting point is 01:48:53 i remember when uh when everybody was doing giveaways i was like uh we were all in boston or philly or somewhere on some trip and i was just like oh they don't even know oh they're giving away gift cards we're gonna give a car away when i get home and then like freddy w you know a bunch of people got together and like came down on fucking giveaways and i was like all right well now we can't give away a car but i was just like we're we're just gonna run youtube into into the ground for 30 days from like all right giving a car away this month we'll be we'll like we're we're just gonna run youtube into into the ground for 30 days from like all right giving a car away this month we'll be we'll be we're making daily videos to put sending everyone to the front page about how we're giving away a hyundai like i was ready to
Starting point is 01:49:34 go i was like i was like yeah we'll just buy a new like cheapest hyundai they make they're like nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine dollars on those sales we're ten thousand dollars into a car we're gonna make60,000 this month just on these videos. We're gold. It's going to be great. We'll give a car away every month forever. And then Freddie will be that bastard. I don't think half those guys ever gave away the gift cards.
Starting point is 01:49:57 Yeah, there was a rumor that nobody gave away shit. I did a giveaway for a Series S just recently. I just bought one and was like hey i'll give it away if you guys follow me on instagram because i don't have tits so i got to do something to get people out them instagram so um i did it and i like i made sure to to screenshot like the fucking tracking number when i shipped it the dm to the guy i sent it to because i'm like somebody's
Starting point is 01:50:21 gonna fucking call me out for not sending this shit because I don't know. I'm not going to name names who didn't send stuff. I don't know, but just because somebody didn't send stuff in the past. We know, though. We know. I almost said somebody, but I'm like,
Starting point is 01:50:40 ah. Red hot school. Your Instagram. You love layering clothes. your Instagram, you love layering clothes. I, I, okay. So true story about a year ago, a little bit over a year ago when I really started losing weight,
Starting point is 01:50:54 getting in shape. Um, I had a viewer of mine DM me on Instagram, gay dude, right? And he was like, Hey, BTS, you're losing a bunch of weight you're
Starting point is 01:51:06 probably gonna buy some new clothes your style sucks dude i'm just being honest like you gotta fucking you gotta work on that and i think i looked down and i was wearing like work boots and i don't fucking work you know and i'm wearing like uh a flannel that's too fucking big because i've lost like 20 pounds at this point and wearing like a Mr. T shirt. I'm like, nobody knows who Mr. T is in 2020. He gave me some tips and I kind of just ran with it all year and
Starting point is 01:51:34 redid my whole wardrobe and got nice and stylish. Flannels, always. I mean, flannels are a staple. Always. Flannels are a staple. I mean, always i mean always yeah flannels always i mean i wonder what your gay fan would think of my style buying 35 of the same shirt off amazon because some idiot accidentally listed them for three dollars and 88 cents you've been dressing like a married man for years now it's true i've been
Starting point is 01:52:03 dressing like a video game character or a television show character that always wears the same thing for a while i think it's a better part of probably over a year that i just found like damn these shirts rock they don't shrink they they're tough what shirts are they carhartt carhartt uh tees they're not normally four dollars no no they're and they're i mean it's not like they're expensive they're normally like 15 bucks to 18 bucks but think it's up when you get two of them yeah woody's wearing collins clothes from five years ago you tell you trying to get him to buy a 15 t-shirt $15 t-shirt must be nice to be you going into collins closet me like you still wear this
Starting point is 01:52:47 children who get hand-me-downs it's the opposite at woody's house he's a hugger and he alphas me i only talked about it before but it happens all the time he he just comes around my head and hugs from up top and i'm like the girl you're gonna try and over alpha him. Dude, he does it on stream. Like, you know, he comes in and he's like, can I hug you? I'm like, okay. He comes from behind.
Starting point is 01:53:20 Oh, did you guys watch Dawn of the Dead? Yes. Dawn of the Dead? What did you think? I liked it. I liked it. I thought 28 Days Later was better. It is. But I was glad I watched it. The original Dawn of the Dead?
Starting point is 01:53:33 The remake from early 2000s. I've seen the remake. I prefer the original, but the remake's good. We were talking about zombies on PKN, and we were saying not to say the original is a bad movie, in the original the zombies aren't chasing you right like in order for it to be scary and for me to feel like oh man if i were in that situation i'd be fucked it's got to be the new dawn of the dead or like 28 days later where they're not only
Starting point is 01:53:57 sprinting but like they're magically faster than me now as if they need magic to be faster than me everyone else in my party's 30 yards have you seen uh has anybody seen train to busan yes yeah really good one and um there's a guy in it that has taylor's build and he doesn't do running stuff. He just fucking slams and suplexes the goddamn zombies and I'm dead serious. That's what I'll be there for. I guarantee that guy dies.
Starting point is 01:54:36 He does. He's really more of a one-on-one zombie attacker. That always happens in zombie movies where there's hundreds of a one of those guys that always happens in zombie movies where it's like there's there's hundreds of yards between like the survivors and the zombies one guy's like go go it's like no you can come with us we got lots of time get out of here i'm not gonna tell you again that's exactly that's exactly how he dies actually he's like he's like fucking bear hugging like 10 zombies
Starting point is 01:55:05 he's like just go man i'm good i got this one of my favorite parts in almost any zombie movie is the happy moment you know when they discover that they're all rich and they can drive any car they want and in in um what the hell was zombie land uh they do that in that but in in what was it dawn of the dead is that what was it? Dawn of the Dead? Is that what it was? Yeah, that's the one you just watched. There's a point in there where the guy becomes a cross-dresser, the woman fucks the other one.
Starting point is 01:55:32 Both of them are like, I don't know, just they have some meaningless sex and they're down for it. It's fine. And I think they just realize, oh, we own everything in this mall right now. We're temporarily happy and rich. This is great. Imagine that in 2020, though.
Starting point is 01:55:50 It's like, we're stuck in a mall. All right. There's a half empty Hot Topic and no food court. There's a Wetzel's pretzels, but I'm pretty sure they're out. There would be nothing. But you could rob a Macy's and then hang out by a defunct penny fountain would be the entirety of the mall hopefully they destroy all the malls and replace those giant areas with parks dude you know what they're actually gonna become amazon distribution centers what if they turned those malls into like
Starting point is 01:56:21 giant airsoft or paintball fields like that's such a good idea that would be fucking amazing yeah like an inside goddamn you know two or three story like fucking like make the escalators those inflatable slides they use to to get to get out of aircraft yeah yeah and like ropes to climb up and i want them to be giant gyms but like obstacle course marine you know with walls and rope climbs and shit like that where them to be giant gyms, but like obstacle course marine, you know, with walls and rope climbs and shit like that, where you just do one lap through the mall and that's your workout. It should be hard.
Starting point is 01:56:51 And someone's chasing you. I mean, it's a whole mall that you could have some truly epic paintball game. I haven't played paintball since the last time the three of us were at the paintball trip. And that was what, 2012, 2013? Like seven, eight years ago oh you haven't played since yeah i guess yeah yeah we've played a couple since then um we we played one at
Starting point is 01:57:13 a different park in chicago i think that was the last group when we did that was fun um but yeah i haven't played in i guess about four years four years. If I were to go back, and I mean, this hasn't changed from when I played last. I've always liked the forest courses where you feel like you're in the woods way more than those speedball balloons. Because I get it. It's active. It's fun to do the speedball thing. But there's something about doing a military.
Starting point is 01:57:39 And it is a bit of a military sim. Like you're pretending you have a gun. Oh, the stakes are high. Like, oh, there's a balloon with a Budweiser ad on it that's kind of taking me out of it like i didn't like woods i didn't like that we were never involved with the actual scenarios in our scenario games i would have loved it if we had been part of that we would just find out like second hand or third hand like oh yeah they went last night and moved the briefcase from d squad and just like why didn't we get to be involved with like the briefcase from D squad. It's like,
Starting point is 01:58:05 why didn't we get to be involved with stealing a briefcase? That would have been so fun. Friday is after we bought weed from the referee. That was our scenario. Marijuana from one of the referees. I need to go to an Applebee's and order every appetizer twice. Taylor was saying our scenario
Starting point is 01:58:33 was to acquire weed from a referee. Mission accomplished. I still remember standing next to Kyle talking to him about that and Kyle just saying, that guy's got weed and then just walked over there, talked to him about that. And Kyle just saying, that guy's got weed. And then just walked over there, talked to him for a second, walked back. I remember exactly what he said.
Starting point is 01:58:50 He goes, look, I don't mean to offend you, but you look like kind of a guy who knows where the weed is. And he's like, oh, yeah. He was instantly down. He looked like if I told an artist to like a sketch artist draw me a weed man he'd be like all right it was a long hair maybe some rainbow glasses woody's got his picture he knows he knows this guy i had an idea to look up someone like him so we didn't give him away so the bus driver from the Simpsons, Otto, he looks like that guy.
Starting point is 01:59:26 Oh, that's pretty good. Whoa, I'm driving the bus, kids. Like, he's fucking around. Yeah, I was so right about that guy. And that was some good weed he had, too. Yeah, weed stoned. Yeah, that was some really fucking good weed.
Starting point is 01:59:43 He was an older version of this guy on the left in my head. Minus the hat? Yeah, sure. Yeah, something like that. Damn, I hope full-size adult male overalls come back. That would be a look on you, Taylor. You look like Lenny from Mice and Men. Just some retarded guy. Dude, he went too hard with the voice and everything in that role.
Starting point is 02:00:20 Oh, come on. That thing's killer. Him and Gary Sinise. John Malkovich and Gary Sinise, right? Malkovich plays and um gary sinise uh john malkovich and gary sinise right malkovich plays uh lenny i think it's malkovich i i can't picture gary sinise yeah he plays uh whatever the other guy's name is it was so long ago that i saw that i don't remember fucking dude it's so fucking sad like i don't i watch sad movies once generally like i've seen one flew over the Cuckoo's Nest once.
Starting point is 02:00:45 I've seen Of Mice and Men once. I can see myself re-watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. That was funny until the end. It's pretty comedic. I can't go back to that. That's so upsetting at the end. I saw the Sunny episode before I saw the actual movie. First of all, when it was danny devito like i was
Starting point is 02:01:06 watching it with my my brother and uh you know our girlfriends and i was like that's fucking danny devito and they're all like are you stupid no it's not and then yes it is but i the whole time i was watching and i'm like when's the part gonna happen where big chief or whatever throws the water fountain door and then Jack Nicholson can escape. And it didn't happen. I was so surprised when he gets smothered at the end and I couldn't tell. Well, I guess what was supposed to be implied is that he was permanently fucked up forever.
Starting point is 02:01:43 And that like, that was going to be his new existence because of the electroshock yeah like even watching it i'm like maybe he's like in a post you know post procedural state right now and he'll come back but i guess so awful and he wasn't even supposed to be there you know like like he was fibbing yeah the whole thing is awful i think they made a prequel series about nurse ratchet yeah they did uh sarah paulson's in that from american horror story i think it is yeah i didn't watch that either uh she was a great character in the movie originally she won an oscar i believe i think the cuckoo's nest ran the oscars that year
Starting point is 02:02:21 they won everything they were um um put They won everything they were put up for, and they were put up for all of the major Oscars, like actor, director, film. Of the sad movies, I would say, I haven't re-watched Green Mile in a long time. That I can re-watch. I don't feel bad for John Coffey. I mean, he's fine.
Starting point is 02:02:42 I feel bad for John Coffey. Well, I feel bad for him and whatever the character's name is who is like, he's my little mousey. He's a circus mouse. Is John Coffey dead in real life? Yes. He's just too much to stay alive very long. Police shooting.
Starting point is 02:02:56 I don't believe that. He was trying to use his magic and cast spells on the officers. Did he die suddenly? I bet he did. I think a heart attack or something. I think his name is Michael Clark Duncan. It's like I keep saying it. Mighty guys wither away.
Starting point is 02:03:12 Big guys, they click off. Woody, who's the star of Home Alone? Oh, Jesus. Macaulay Culkin. Nailed it! Damn it, this bit's over. He's learned it. There's more out there. There's more out there.
Starting point is 02:03:26 I'll wait a few months before I spring out of here. What's the name of that little Indian comedian? Even I know this. It's incredibly difficult. Parks and Rec? It's like Anzee Zazari or something like that. That's close enough.
Starting point is 02:03:45 I'll take that. You got all the right letters. He got them all. He just didn't quite get the pronunciation, but that's close enough. It's Aziz Ansari. Okay. That was close. Yeah, it's really close. Normal people close.
Starting point is 02:03:58 That's normal people close. Yeah. These are hard names you're hitting me with. This is no Liam neeson right here who we nailed that one too that one actually as i process it too is hard you know i'm not getting oh no the other guy though the one from the naked gun movies and airplane with the white hair the comic guy his last name is nelson no it's not it's not. It's not. Nelson is the bully from The Simpsons.
Starting point is 02:04:29 What is his name? I don't know. I do know the guy you're thinking of. From Airplane. Airplane. From the Files of Police Squad. Don't call me Shirley. What's his name?
Starting point is 02:04:44 Leslie Nielsen oh yeah used to always call um liam uh neeson liam nielsen and you're like merging those two individuals a little bit with the name but you've gotten that one i used to get emma watson wrong but i've got her down. Who is the other Emma? She's the chubby-faced one. Oh, she's not chubby-faced. Your standards are so goddamn high. Pull up an Emma Stone picture right now for the audience and for us.
Starting point is 02:05:16 Good lord, she's incredibly attractive. Chubby-faced? You are out of your mind. She's like a rail. The girl is like 12% body fat or something like that. You can see her ribs. You can see her cheekbones. Yeah. You're crazy on that one.
Starting point is 02:05:32 That's chubby faced. Wait, you linked that as an example of chubby faced? Brickly. What? That's crazy. You're out of your mind. She does have a round face. He likes that garb look that Chase Utley likes. Round is a face shape.
Starting point is 02:05:51 In Woody's defense, in some pictures, it's a little round. But it's probably just trick of the way. She's pretty. She's definitely pretty. But here, let's go to the gold standard the gold standard who is his gold standard an auschwitz victim look at her look at the difference between those oh my god that that girl come on she's just got different bone structure and she's shockingly thin she's's dangerously thin. Dangerously thin
Starting point is 02:06:26 is how I like them. She just has a shape face. There's what he's talking about. Like her face can have a round ish look. Yeah, well if she sneezed a half second ago. No, you're kooky on this one.
Starting point is 02:06:43 I would rather be with Emmama stone than emma watson i just i don't know anything i had a thought today i was in the gym and i was thinking about uh gina carano the super fat chick from mandalorian what's her name yeah yeah you're close enough on that one dude Dude, my theory is this. Go back to young Woody in high school. If they thought there was even a chance of a snow day, I wouldn't do my homework, right?
Starting point is 02:07:14 I'd just not do it. I wouldn't be prepared for the next day because maybe there'll be a snow day and I wouldn't have had to do my homework. And what a fool I would feel like having done it a day too soon. So I picture her with two bags of potato chips just double fisting constantly being like i thought covid would cancel this holy fuck like oh my god i'm 40 pounds overweight and i'm an action hero and and i i thought corona
Starting point is 02:07:39 was gonna bail me out of my obligation not to be a fucking Miss Piggy. But here I am. Dude, she's 40, might be exaggerating it, but if she lost 40, she wouldn't be unhealthy. She used to be an MMA fighter, and she had fucking invisible abs. Oh, we know. She always struggled
Starting point is 02:07:59 with her weight as an MMA fighter. I think she was 130. We looked at these photos she's not fat she's looking thick come on dude she's fat oh my god they have done they give her like full body yoga pants and she still looks fat yeah yeah i'm trying to i can't find them on google woody has absurd like body women body image opinions and and usually I'm on the opposite. I'm like, come on, dude. It's a bad angle. It was a bad day. You're being too harsh.
Starting point is 02:08:31 He's wrong about Emma Stone, for example, but Gina Carano, what we're seeing is polished as good as... They're making a Star Wars TV show, okay? There's fucking spaceships, lightsabers, and people using the Force, okay?
Starting point is 02:08:48 And they make all that look real, but they haven't figured out how to make Gina Carano not look fat. That means when she's off of, when she's not being touched up and hit with a perfect angle, perfect lighting, she's just a fucking moo cow. She may be way fatter than we think. And I will also add, I don't watch this show, so I have no point of reference.
Starting point is 02:09:12 Well, I mean, we can... Camera adds 10 pounds. There's a good four or five cameras on her at any moment. That's fortunate for you. My webcam adds 35 pounds. Mine adds a few as well. I was posing for the calf thing, and there were a few unflattering angles I'm like oh fuck
Starting point is 02:09:29 isn't that the worst like you'll see like we were talking about earlier your face freezes and you're just the absolute fattest version of you and it's like I couldn't do it if I was biting both my cheeks at the same time
Starting point is 02:09:45 my round ass face a little structure here look at her here at a fucking award show or something is she the guy get punched by connor yeah oh my no i thought she was gonna be hot in this picture dude what character scroll down and you get a side angle that is a dude those tits are enormous those tits are enormous it's it's it's like she's on the cusp i feel like she's on the cusp of um thick and fat like she's kind of i wouldn't call her full-blown fat but she's look at that side picture yeah she's on the she's on the cusp what is her power in mandalorian she's another bounty
Starting point is 02:10:35 hunter she's just like an ex shock trooper um that that you know she needs her calories she needs her calories you gotta have energy to shock troop all around the galaxy and like the thing is like hang on look at her here i hope that this is visible so it's pinterest which is annoying as fuck yeah she's cut as fuck right there yeah that's her that may be her even weighing in or like yeah but but she's so much yes uh here's the thing though here's the crazy beautiful if right if she were to make an only fans right now with her current body type because that's like thick girls are in right now she would probably make more than if she was in shape like if she could go between the two
Starting point is 02:11:26 you know she's on a website called curvage.org where these people are like all about fat celebrities um and i'm trying to like find the picture that that led me here because it was awful i see way in gina Carano and I think wedding picture. I see award show. And I think now Taylor, I think you should give some real thought to bulking up for the wedding photos. Oh my God.
Starting point is 02:11:55 All right. Look at this one. Okay. This is for the lion King, which I didn't know she was in. It could be the dress though. It's a little frumpy, you know,
Starting point is 02:12:04 dude, you ever see charlie's throne wear a dress like this no you ever see halle berry rocking one of these there's a reason it's frumpy there's a reason it's frothy yeah she has a fold in her belly fat is she cold uh you could hide another person in there yeah That's because you wanted to bring snacks into the premiere. She needs to do the hire trainer, get on your chicken and broccoli like they all do, and thin it down. Everybody thinks I've got stacked tits. No, two Chipotle queso burritos.
Starting point is 02:12:51 She's, yeah. Oh, my. and look how pretty she is like i'm looking at the pink photo the the one with the pink uh muumuu that she's wearing and um i see a really pretty woman under this layers and layers of fat yeah she's beautiful like she's legitimately like a like like i mean like especially like like she's got a great smile she's got really nice like uh like bone structure she's got like her whole face is shaped she's got a heart-shaped face it's perfect i'm telling you guys though if she were to make an only fans right now versus like her old self her new one would get more attraction i get it way oh, you're wrong about that. I'll buy that her OnlyFans will be successful regardless of what she looks like. However, I will not buy that in an alternate universe where she still looks like she did at weigh-in day over there,
Starting point is 02:13:38 that her current look would be more profitable. I don't know, guys. Thick girls are fucking, fucking i mean they're in like goddamn the tie-dye in the 70s i'm telling you i bet you popular over on the who cow uh subreddit oh it's this fetish where you like uh um turn a person into a cow so it's a lot of chicks like wearing like you know holsting or hosting cows are those milkers the ones that are black and white so it's lots of chicks wearing like uh like either painted like that but they're often wearing like ears and they often sometimes they do that fetish porn where
Starting point is 02:14:13 they're like chained up and being and like attached to a milking machine this isn't real right this is 100 real how do you spell who cow h u cU-C-O-W. Subreddit of the week, folks. I think I forgot to have a subreddit of the week last week. Good God. Lovers of cow pet play. Coming back strong with the subreddit of the week. I cannot show people these pictures. Oh, well, I can show them this one.
Starting point is 02:14:41 Let me be extra careful. All right. The top one is just a woman. Milk me. Milk me. I'm going top all time. I need to see what's up here. This is interesting. She's got a cowbell on.
Starting point is 02:14:57 Except it's not really a cowbell. It's like a jingle bell. I need more cowbell. Moo. Would you breed me? No. You know, these women look like Gina Carano. Some of them. Like, this is what I think she looks like in a cow bikini.
Starting point is 02:15:16 Yo, the second girl with top of all time or whatever. The second with the bouncing bikini. Yes, that's a good one oh yeah good in what way that she produces a lot of dairy products um i mean not that specifically the third gift is you know what there's some good stuff on here i'm not there's good stuff on there have i sold you have i sold you are you now a who cow fan you know i'm subscribing this gift is called examiningining the Goods. And she's just like in this restraint
Starting point is 02:15:47 situation where she's on all fours and he's just like massaging her udders. Just like, yeah, you're gonna get a lot of cheese. Just watch that one. This one, number 10 all time. It's a woman in a cow bikini and a cowbell. And to be the most
Starting point is 02:16:04 like a cow, she has a bunch of grass and leaves in her mouth. Yeah. I don't know if I can show that one. I see it. I see it. Scroll down below her to the one called
Starting point is 02:16:17 Submissive Cow Katie. That looks painful. Those are my favorite ones. They've got that milking machine attached to them and they look like they're not enjoying it. That's brutal. They haven't even put her in the shackle on the right because she's been beaten into submitting.
Starting point is 02:16:35 She knows it's futile. The suction power is too much. We're just getting started. You bitch. Look at the comments for this fresh milk after after i'd like to breed her last he wants to go last the next comment a load of warm milk for me to drink out of those sources and then he's got like some like squirting and glass of milk emojis and then a devil face katie is always a treat to see but i'd like to
Starting point is 02:17:06 see more content on caprice he knows the players oh my god the comments are gonna be the true gold i have a i have a uh kind of a related thing um my ex-girlfriend actually is a good... What's it called? I don't know. She does sex work stuff now. Men drink her piss and pay her. Whatever the hell that is. Is it only piss? No, it's not only piss.
Starting point is 02:17:43 She's like a dominatrix. Yeah, that's it. That's the word. Dominatrix, yeah. She kicks men in the balls and they pay her. Nice. It's good money. And do they want her to watch them drink the pee?
Starting point is 02:17:58 Preferably. Yeah. She's gotten requests of dudes asking her to shit in a cup and you keep in touch with her yeah yeah yeah um it's it's very interesting the story you got a you got a number or anything i'll get to you what if i want to make her drink my piss um i don't think she would do that no no probably she's more of a giver yeah full disclosure I didn't do any of this when we were dating
Starting point is 02:18:28 what is the price like how much money is she making per piss cup that she's getting she was in Chicago and she was making bank and then she moved back to the rural south around these parts and not so much shipping time too long back to
Starting point is 02:18:44 Chicago the piss gets it ferments it's bad rural south around these parts and not so much shipping time too long back to chicago the it ferments it's bad it's bad she has complaints you know yeah she just needs a friend there who's not attractive to just piss in cups and like send it to men yeah pretty much so guys like i want to give you five hundred dollars i want you to salt me and then force me to drink your pee she's like ah another day at work you know like that's that's what uh what's um um jim norton's into that's exactly what jim norton's into oh yeah well jim seems to be into everything yeah yeah pretty much like i remember like he would have conversations where he's like he's like no that's gross i don't want to like drink sweat or anything but like you know that smell like when a woman's been out running and like her feet just have a little bit of stink just a little bit of stink
Starting point is 02:19:26 not a lot of stink i don't know like armpits and like smell armpits but i don't want to stink a lot just a little bit i'm not weird i'm not even like drawing a very thin line and he was so honest about it he'd be like they could come in and be like fucking exhausted this morning and anthony like why why is that he's like edged for eight hours last night didn't get any sleep sat in your apartment and edged for eight hours and he's like I can't drink
Starting point is 02:19:53 I can't do drugs I have to have something I'm addicted to prostitutes and edging and then he's like at the end of it every time I finish it's just what you're doing he like I was busting it's one i still realize this bit all the time where it's little he calls himself like little impotent jimmy he's like and i couldn't get my tivo to work because of course little fucking fat boy jimmy can't get anything to work nothing works for jimmy and then like as it's happening he goes oh fucking christ and anthony and opies are cracking up it's like as he was gesturing he spilled his coffee all over he's like the little jimmy oh now
Starting point is 02:20:30 he has to come in and clean up coffee for little retard jimmy i can't even do this and he was like he's like and then i thought i looked at my tivo and then i looked at my 30 second store apartment window and i told myself throw yourself through it you fat piggy but you know what would happen is i would sprint at it and my weak little malformed body would bounce right off of it and i wouldn't even be able to do that oh classic ona bits are just unbeatable uh wish that show still around what's jimmy norton doing now that he take over the show is he still running it he was like the lead at one point yeah he does a show called uh jim and sam now so like he and sam roberts who was like an old producer
Starting point is 02:21:09 on the ona show do a do a program kyle's listened to it before i've never really listened because without it's pretty good without ants there with jimmy like that was the magic duo that's what i was listening for you know they had such good intuitive like kumi is really good at that job when he comes on this podcast whenever i see that he's booked for this podcast i'm like it's gonna be an easy night you know he'll contribute half the content like it's yeah yeah he's great it's like damn it's almost like he's been doing this for 30 years like but i don't know that most people get better over time howard stern did this thing i've talked it before, but he was listening to older DJs and Howard is killing it at this point. They call it late 90s. And he's like number one in every market on terrestrial radio. And it seemed like every week he's taking on a new big city. And a month later, he's the number one in that city. month later he's the number one in that city he's talking about some older djs and he's like god sad no one finishes in this business on top nobody does you just become like this has been
Starting point is 02:22:12 who people kind of pity and your materials not like you just painted this really sad picture like like it's not even a money thing right they have money they've been successful for a long time it's just they're a shell of what they used to have yeah now i'm looking at howard and what how old's howard stern does anyone have a good guess i would guess 74 you're joking though right no let's say 65 he's 66 i was gonna say 60 65 yeah anyway now i see Howard and I'm like, he's the guy he described 20 years ago. Like, I see it. He was 46.
Starting point is 02:22:49 He was killing it. He was on top of the world at 66. You know, he's 66. Is that what he is? Taylor. Yeah. Damn. He's going to be 60 in a few months.
Starting point is 02:23:02 Yeah. Anthony is still good at it. I bet Howard's still good at it, too howard's still good at it too i hear him on interviews every so often i don't watch his show but you know he'll go on a late night show or something and i'll catch it here or there and he's a good speaker he does his job yeah i should i should re-listen to or not re-listen i should listen to some old howard because everybody talks about how great it is and i just every time i think about it it's like ah nah i i don't know in hindsight was the material that great or did i just like the guys it was almost like a daily vlog like i like i wonder what howard
Starting point is 02:23:35 and the boys are doing right now they always have something crazy going on they always have a thing and i tune in and i had long commutes at the time, which is why I listened to so much of it. And it was like, he killed it. I forget. I think he finished at 11 a.m. So your commute's always done by then. Yeah. But he started super early.
Starting point is 02:23:57 He went like 4 a.m. to 11 a.m. or something big like that. And the time you were commuting at that point was like his heyday, right? Yeah, his terrestrial heyday. He might have made more money on satellite, but are the the days that got him the satellite deals and the fan base and uh yeah it like almost in the way that i watch youtubers now uh a friend of mine i don't know him super well but tucker got he's a youtuber he's a paramotor guy and every time he puts up a video it's like oh i wonder what tucker's up to. And every time he puts up a video, it's like, ooh, I wonder what Tucker's up to.
Starting point is 02:24:25 What's he doing? He built a cup holder for his paramotor with a $500 mechanized camera gimbal. So he's like, look at me. I'm banking this way, banking this way. His coffee's not spilling. It was pretty cool. He had a failed attempt. He tried one of those silly hats with the beer on the straw.
Starting point is 02:24:50 I don't know. I used to watch him because I liked paramotor videos. Now I watch him because I like Tucker. And I could say that about a lot of people. I was watching Juju and Tom today. I haven't caught them. I don't know. I watched a lot of them.
Starting point is 02:25:04 Kind of faded away. And for whatever reason youtube was like hey check out them and uh tom is looking good i know you weren't really involved in the conversation but tom is looking amazing now i scrolled back up and looked at it he looks tremendous he's like i looked at pictures he looks uh looks fantastic yeah huge legs like his arms like you said earlier his arms aren't that great but legs are fucking crazy we all have our uh you know core looks good core looks good his chest is he's just he's gifted with the chest uh you know we all have our spots his buys and tries aren't super big but um uh i don't know he was always like almost dad bod dude he took a picture where he uh there's this fight club pose with a cigarette in the mouth kind of leaning back
Starting point is 02:25:52 and he did the same thing and he was almost brad pitt right like almost it he might have been a little better than brad pitch chest but maybe overall i just nod to brad pitt ever so slightly and this is perhaps arm shoulders were a little more developed and so that like the broader appearance but like as far as you just look at the core section of him like mid torso it's like almost a carbon copy he looks and i think his pecs were better than brad pitt's and and anyway this guy is spitting distance from perhaps the most fuckable character in cinematic history right yeah like the brad pitt fight club like if you say what is the ideal male body to a girl a lot of them will land on that uh brad pitt fight club is almost the
Starting point is 02:26:40 cliche answer brad pitt in that old warrior movie was maybe better kyle's gonna know it troy achilles okay okay so um yeah brad pitt and troy was maybe even better but people get anyway you look like brad pitt and fight club it is an amazing accomplishment um i don't know i wrote to derrick i'm like was this achievable naturally because he mostly just cut fat. I tweeted him. We'll see if he writes back. But like you can cut fat with just discipline and exercise and cardio and, you know, raise your metabolism. Cutting fat is, in my opinion, harder than any exercise or like regimen i've stuck to because i got down to a certain point
Starting point is 02:27:27 myself and i was just like it's it's mentally like upsetting you know i'm not to not trying to down taylor's uh cut or whatever for his wedding but it's fucking it's fucking rough like it's gonna be grumpy on his wedding day yeah like you get you get angry hangry even oh i know hangry yeah i oh you linked boagrius oh this is uh nathan yeah i was thinking about troy and i was like what's that guy who he fought and like you scroll down a little bit and this guy is just that picture of him in the jeans. It's like that guy is a monster. Dude, I got a funny story about him. I would prefer this build to the Brad Pitt build.
Starting point is 02:28:13 Just the Hulk monster guy. Would you? Yes. I would. I would as well. He's. Yeah. I feel like you'd pick up some dudes with this body.
Starting point is 02:28:27 Yeah. What's wrong with that nothing but it depends on your target like look no doubt this is a hard thing to achieve right this is impressive yeah it's just not my personal bullseye you want to be more lean and
Starting point is 02:28:43 have like a swimmer's body type kind of like a you know muscular cut don't don't let me talk too much shit this isn't my personal bullseye either you and i have a more boxy broad build we can't achieve the brad pitt live look that's not possible you gotta work you also can't achieve this but but we are closer to that being an ideal in our body type than the Brad Pitt. That's just not on the cards. This guy's traps are outrageous. These are traps. They're so big in Troy.
Starting point is 02:29:16 He is. I remember watching that scene for the first time, and I was like, God damn it, Brad Pitt's going to kill this guy. But in my ideal world, they would run to the middle and then become friends and then he could fight with Hagrid. But that wouldn't work for the movie because it'd be like, well, you see in every scene, the six foot
Starting point is 02:29:33 ten guy just makes Brad look like a little bitch. That's a pretty good movie. Brad Pitt's in a tent with at least two women. I think it was two maybe three and like he's late to the battle and they send a boy to go get him and the boy is like you know they need you at the battle they've got a man that that you're supposed to fight and he's like okay
Starting point is 02:29:56 he's the biggest man i've ever seen i wouldn't want to fight him and brad pitt's cold as fuck he's just like and that is why no one will remember your name he like puts his helmet on gets on his horse to a child he's just told you a child i wouldn't want to fight a master and that's why no one will remember you i just was trying to get you you know i was trying to get you for the back i'm british now I'm British now. I'm on time. Jeez. And he's like hung over and then he just goes and fucks him up with that jump and then like clavicle stab. Yeah, all the way down to like his heart. Yeah, it's awesome.
Starting point is 02:30:36 And it's like, oh, Boagrius worked so hard for his physique. And it's like, and it's funny that the other side, Agamemnon or whatever his name, it's like, all right, well, we outnumber them, but we agreed. And so it's like, no, they'd just be like, they killed Blackfish! Charge! That would be like nobody.
Starting point is 02:31:00 Would they, though? Because maybe if you're on the other side, you're thinking that, are they all like that guy? He might be the best of them but how much better is he than the average guy over there? Well clearly fucking not. They had to send a boy to get him. The rest of them were like
Starting point is 02:31:16 that. They sent another fucking bloke out there and fight him. No, we're not obeying this. But they're not all like Boagery. They've got to get back to their journey sweep job. It wasn't even their best. No, we're not obeying this. But they're not all like Boagris. Gotta get back to my journey suite job. Boagris wasn't even their best.
Starting point is 02:31:31 Their best was the bearded dude, right? Maybe? No, Boagris was their best. I think you're talking about Ajax, who was on Achilles' side. So Ajax, Odysseus, and Achilles were all working together. And so that was the lore. Ajax was known to have like superhuman strength he had his shield and his lion mane head headdress or whatever and i think he had a spear instead of a sword and he just
Starting point is 02:31:56 yeah boagris was the best from that army from that agamemnon's army yeah that's a pretty good movie. It's not bad at all. I can't think of that chick who is Helen, but she's smoking hot and she gets topless. That's always appreciated. She does. And Legolas, he's over there. He's the cause of all this.
Starting point is 02:32:20 He does cause problems in that film. He does. He's the cause of all of all of that war. That might've been one of his first big roles after Lord of the Rings. Was it after Lord of the Rings? I did. Yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 02:32:34 2000. Yeah, that was right when his Lord of the Rings returned to the King came out in 2003, I think. Yeah. Right. 2004,
Starting point is 02:32:41 maybe. I'm thinking somewhere in there. Hector, I think. Uh, yeah. Hector is played by, um, 2003. I know thinking of Hector, I think. Yeah, Hector is played by... In 2003, I know my Lord of the Rings. Hector's the Prince of Troy.
Starting point is 02:32:52 Yeah, and he seemed like he was the best fighter that they had. To me. Sure. Yeah. Hector was their legendary guy. But he was fearful of Achilles. Because of all... Rightfullyfully so I love that when they're having their fight there you know
Starting point is 02:33:10 toward the end and Hector's like let's make a deal you know the loser will be given full burial rights and Achilles is like tonight you'll go to hell with no eyes and no tongue and you'll wander the underworld
Starting point is 02:33:26 deaf and blind and dumb and he's like okay i guess that's a no then uh everyone he he's afraid i'm coming the opposite of afraid just hoof hoping it back to the gates what if you ran like a movie i need to i need to re-watch that yeah i haven't seen it a long long time i think i've only seen it once or twice but it's great and brad pitts that's his top physique that's his best physique ever yeah um for sure you know what else i want to re-watch is gladiator i don't think i've seen gladiator in 15 years father it's been a son husband to a murdered wife and i shall have my revenge in this life or the next what was that that monologue that joaquin phoenix actually did a good job on in that movie i say actually as
Starting point is 02:34:16 though he's not a good actor he is but when like uh his father was talking about all the ways that he disappoints him because he doesn't have, he doesn't have integrity. He doesn't have honor. And he's like, but I have other traits, father and mission. And like talks about how his, all his traits acquiring as much power and minting as much authority as
Starting point is 02:34:38 possible. That's actually a really good scene. Yeah, you're right. I'd forgotten about that. Joaquin's awesome. He's good in everything he's ever done. I don't know if you,
Starting point is 02:34:44 did you ever see that movie it might be called he was never really there or something like that it's where he's like that's a fucking that is a rough fucking movie and yeah it is man he kills it he's like a fixer like like he's the guy the bounty hunter he's kind of a bounty hunter and like but he works for a bounty hunter as like the guy who actually goes out and like gets people and it seemed like there was like a missing girl and he was like uh there to like save her from like a pedophile ring and his weapon of choice is a hammer he just goes in balls to the wall because he he subplots kind of like he hates himself it doesn't want anybody else to like be like that man it's it's fantastic i think it's his best role out of
Starting point is 02:35:30 everything i've seen him in even better the body transformation is pretty cool he doesn't get like which like like he packed up joaquin phoenix the movie uh he was never really here or yeah thanks he is so big and bulky in that. And that's only like maybe two years before Joker, maybe a year before Joker as far as filming goes. I don't know. Oh, in a fat way though. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:35:53 He puts on, he puts on a bunch of fat, but a lot of muscle too. Like he just gets big. Like, like he's, he's certainly not like action star looking, but he's just like big and intimidating looking. He's the kind of big wide guy where you'd be like,'s not yeah you're right he's not going to win any competitions but he looks like he could he looks like farm boy strong he looks very powerful and he just walks headlong into like multiple gangsters with a hammer and at no point did i think oh that's unrealistic it's like dude he just ran up to him with a hammer and went to work.
Starting point is 02:36:25 Like, what are they going to do? Dude, if someone runs at me with a hammer, even if I'm armed and I see them six feet away, I'm like, ah! It's a 21-foot rule. And then I'm struck with a hammer. It's a 21-foot rule. It doesn't matter. You got your gun holstered. They're within 21 feet.
Starting point is 02:36:39 You're dead. You're dead. I wonder if that's true. You think that's true, true? Yeah, I think that's true true yeah i think it's true unless you're some kind of a fucking sharpshooter or like a quick draw specialist i don't think i don't i don't know how quickly i can draw a pistol and shoot someone but if your hand's already on the gun right your hands on the gun you're uh conscious of the threat right so you're just
Starting point is 02:36:59 everything but having out of the holster. 21 feet? I've always suspected that was kind of a cop. Like, you know, like, ah, he was within 21 feet. That's the distance at which we think it's okay to shoot. Yeah, you gave yourself a lot of leeway here. You think? It's like six big steps. He's on you so fast. It's a matter matter of seconds it's a matter of seconds yeah it might be it's less than two seconds i think
Starting point is 02:37:31 if he's sprinting at you with a hammer doing a war chant and you're gonna draw and not only fire but fire accurate accurate enough so the first shot does something like look what if you miss him with the first and the second shot? And you might because he's running at you with a hammer. I would not want to test. There's a great scene in that TV show Justified where throughout a whole season, one of the
Starting point is 02:37:56 main characters who's that season's bad guy is talking about the 21 foot rule. He's got a big buoy knife and he's always talking about you want to test it out how about uh i step over there and you step over there and we see how it works and the guy the guy be like yeah yeah let's do it and as the guy stands up he just starts stabbing him to death like like you know he's not gonna do that with you but then at the end like it actually comes
Starting point is 02:38:18 down to it like with a guy who has a gun but fortunately it's the guy it's the main character of the show who's played by uh timothy oliphant you know the same guy who was a gun but fortunately it's the guy it's the main character of the show who's played by uh timothy oliphant you know the same guy who was in that episode of the the mandalorian he was the the local sheriff wearing the mando armor and that whole show is about him being like a modern day cowboy and being happy to quick draw with somebody if they're down but with a glock and uh they go to do the quick draw thing but guy doesn't know that there's like a fucking grave right in front of him and he goes to run at him with a knife and falls right into a hole and the knife goes through his own throat he kills himself accidentally it's
Starting point is 02:38:56 it's a real it's a build-up and then just comic relief because like that sounds so stupid it's a good show man justifies fun it's on hulu nah it's good show, man. Justify is fun. It's on Hulu. Nah. It's good. I like it. Now I'm going to rewatch Seinfeld, King of the Hill, and the first 13, 12 or 13 seasons of The Simpsons. You've got to get on The Office, man,
Starting point is 02:39:16 before Peacock takes it away. I've seen The Office enough, and I know it's one of your rewatch shows. Big time. It's rare that i put that on as a rewatch show when you watch a show taylor do you pay attention to it or do you like watching shows you've seen so that you can come in and out of it generally it's like i'll it's just background noise if i'm rewatching it like it's a seinfeld season two episode four it's like oh i
Starting point is 02:39:40 know all every line in this one or whatever it is and so like i'll be working on my computer or i never listen to music when i'm exercising like i'll have old tv shows playing so like even if it's like if i can't see the screen it's always sunny playing it's like i know exactly what's happening in this scene like i'm tracking with it or just old ona i see never gets old for me yeah yeah my wife watches rewatches like that too you She's actually folding laundry or doing whatever wife thing she's doing. Her duties. So she doesn't have to pay attention to the show. She can zone in and out and keep up with it.
Starting point is 02:40:16 Yeah, that's how I do it. Every so often I'll sit down and rewatch full attention like Old King of the Hill, Old Simpsons, Old Family Guy, whatever, just to be like, oh, man, this was so fun. Oh, old king of the hill old simpsons old family guy whatever just to be like oh man this was so fun oh i was re-watching old simpsons and it was like season 10 so it was like 1998 and they were making fun of uh like sci-fi cons and they're like tonight are at the new sci-fi con it's the uh babylon 5 tough robots versus the Star Wars gay robots. Just the huge robots. And people are like, Atu, please help.
Starting point is 02:40:53 I'm being defeated. And he's just getting kicked out of it. But like, today, the Simpsons would never make a joke like, versus the gay robots. They just wouldn't say that. It was funny to hear like,
Starting point is 02:41:04 wow. Ten of the Simpsons was still making jokes that you couldn't get away with today i'm re-watching the sopranos for god knows how many times now and i pay really close attention because i'm always finding new jokes that i missed the first time through because tony's got a lot of good jokes that can like really slide like like by you if you're not paying really close attention to what he's saying. All the characters do. They're really well written. My favorite Tony Soprano line ever, though, is when they're talking about when Meadow was dating the black kid.
Starting point is 02:41:35 He was half black and half Jewish. And Tony calls him Jamal Ginsberg, the acidic homeboy. What the fuck? You're going to bring home jamal ginsburg some fucking homeboy homeboy it's like such a good line it's like way too smart for tony like he didn't know what a hasid was like until like the season one because they they have to go they deal with some hasidic jews but like it's still just fucking hilarious i remember yeah they he has a hard time doing business with them right like they don't want
Starting point is 02:42:12 to pay or something the uh the father hires tony because his son-in-law wants um a money he wants to get to uh to agree to the divorce and so he's telling tony you know if if you can get him to do this i'll give you money and uh so they end up kidnapping the this man and beating him for hours and he's still just like no i'm not doing it i've got principles like like i i put i put money and time into this this man and beating him for hours. And he's still just like, no, I'm not doing it. I've got principles. Like, like I put,
Starting point is 02:42:49 I put money and time into this. Kill me, kill me if you want to. And they're like, yeah, this guy's tough as nails. If we don't end up killing him, we got to put him on the payroll.
Starting point is 02:42:59 And, and, and finally like, like, uh, Tony calls his, his own Jewish friend. Uh, and, and, and the guy's like, I told you not to get in business with these people. They're extremists.
Starting point is 02:43:11 And he's like, maybe he's ready to go to the afterlife, Tony, but I know one thing no man wants to live without. And Tony's like, what? Oh. Hey, Paulie, go to my trunk and get the bulk cutters. She's like, I know you don't want to talk, but I'm going to cut your cock off. I'm going to cut your cock off if you don't give this
Starting point is 02:43:33 girl her divorce. The guy gives the divorce. However, the father is upset with the way they got the results because Tony threatened to cut this guy's dick off and he finds that to be dishonorable. And he tries to go back on the deal,
Starting point is 02:43:50 but Tony will not allow that. And Tony ends up essentially owning the hotel that they were in dispute over the whole time. And wasn't that guy's son, the older Jewish guy who hired Tony, his son being like like you've created the golem you've created the golem and we can no longer control it like the rabbi in the story they come in there and they fuck with that son and he's like well who are you the romans are
Starting point is 02:44:14 gone and the jews still survive and they're like romans are right fucking here you're looking at and he's like screaming yeah he tells him the story of masada yeah and he's just like yeah where are the Romans now? I'm like, you're looking at them. It's like, oh, well, in that case, I apologize. I need to rewatch Sopranos again, I guess. It was only a year ago I watched it for the first time, but it's a very dense show.
Starting point is 02:44:41 I can see how you rewatching it like six times, seven times, you're still picking up new stuff. I'm still picking up these little jokes that they tell. And, uh, and, and lots of stuff like that. I wish I had just like today I caught two jokes that I'd never caught before.
Starting point is 02:44:54 They were really fucking funny. I can't remember what they were, but like there's the dialogue. So dense in there at times, it seems like it's just a bunch of gangsters shooting the shit, but they're oftentimes like slipping these little insults and poking each other in these mean ways
Starting point is 02:45:10 that if you catch them, it's really funny. Tony's mom's character is up there. Actually, I won't even say up there. Is better than Joffrey or Ramsey as a hateable character. She is top three. She plays that role so well.
Starting point is 02:45:25 It is a show about gangsters, sociopaths, murderers, lecherous pieces of human shit, organized criminals. And she is literally, no joke, the worst person in that whole show. She is evil incarnate. She has zero redeeming qualities she is nothing but hate and vitriol and and just pettiness and and it's like when she finally goes it's like man i wish that they had i wish that hurt i wish that they you know i wish that like somebody punished her yeah she never got you know she died in real
Starting point is 02:46:06 life that's why they had to write her out of the show really yeah if you go to the last episode she's in she is CGI hmm I had no idea yeah you want it honestly I didn't notice it until I read about it
Starting point is 02:46:22 you know a few years after the fact but now it's just oh oh, that looks like shit. Now that I know. Because they take her head from previous episodes and they superimpose it on an actress's body. And everything she says is something she's already said. And when you've seen the show six times like I have every single episode, of the episodes eight ten times like my favorites it's like oh i've heard her say this she said that to junior in season two like like you know i i remember these lines i remember thinking and i've only watched it once but getting such a kick out
Starting point is 02:46:58 of the uh when uncle junior said like you never had the makings of a varsity athlete. Yeah. And, like, for some reason, that, like, hit some. It hurt him so much. Some, like, formative element of his personality that just struck it like a perfect little arrow, and it resonated. And it was funny because it's like, there are things like that.
Starting point is 02:47:20 He's like, remember when you dropped that fly ball in the playoffs? Yeah. I couldn't face my friends you never had the makings of a varsity athlete but i know the makings of varsity athlete like he's getting he's like i lettered in football not not in college you didn't college those guys were six foot six he's talking about lettering in college ball like what the fuck but for some reason tony takes such offense to the uncle junior saying that he and that's probably because for his entire life the only like true masculine person he had in his life is like a role model was junior you know like and so hearing like a little passive remark like that even from
Starting point is 02:48:03 i think at the time he said that he was like not totally senile but like on their hat there and senile uh uncle jr was a little sad yeah yeah he gets it and and they play it really well like like but the downhill the downward spiral is is gradual you know you slowly start to see him lose his marbles they did they did it really well he's a good actor when uh i like the whole storyline of like tony imagining like a sexy italian woman across the way hanging laundry yeah and like he imagines all these scenarios with carmella and everything now we're just talking about describing poorly scenario scenarios and I watched my favorite episode of all time today.
Starting point is 02:48:46 It's called the Pine Barrens. And it is the episode where Christopher and Polly take the Russian out to the Pine Barrens to murder him. And it turns out that he is a Russian Green Beret. You know, he was a member of the Interior ministry and he killed 16 czechoslovakians single-handedly as tony put it no as paulie put it they were chechens like like tony's like tony said tony's like you don't understand you're dealing with a russian green beret some kind of a russian green beret he was in the interior ministry he killed 16 chechens single-handed and paulie gets off the phone and looks at Christopher and he goes,
Starting point is 02:49:25 apparently he's an interior decorator. He killed 16 Czechoslovakians. And Christopher goes, really? His apartment looked like shit. And then they're in that shitty snowmobile thing later and paulie's getting
Starting point is 02:49:46 furious because because chris won't share his like tomato sauce packet his ketchup packet the other way around chris chris does share chris is like i found some ketchup packets and he like gives half to paulie and paulie's like yeah mix it with the relish it's pretty good and then like later on christopher looks over and pauly's got tic tacs he's like are those tic tacs it's like yeah give me one i hate them all like he's eating all the goddamn tic tacs he's hoarded them to for himself polly's polly's a real piece of shit he's one of my favorite characters yeah he's very funny but he's a piece of shit chris chrissy polly's stand out as a piece of shit amongst all the sopranos um paulie is more out for himself than anyone and that's why he is as old as he is and has still like survived this long like
Starting point is 02:50:33 uh he turns on tony like um to to um to like side with new york when he's being manipulated by johnny sack at one point and then at the very end of the, of the show, when the war has come with New York, uh, he just, he just leaves. He just drives out of town. Meanwhile, like sill and Bobby Bocchieri and like,
Starting point is 02:50:54 like everybody else is like down to fight with Tony. Like, even if they're not like Tony's, even if they're not all that tight with him, they're like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to fight for my boss.
Starting point is 02:51:04 You know, everybody, even Benny, like everybody's going to fight for my boss. Everybody. Even Benny. Everybody's there to fight with Tony. And Paulie literally drives away. Of his whole crew, Bobby Bacliari might be my favorite one. Because he seemed to be the most of a genuine good guy. He was. Wrapped up in this.
Starting point is 02:51:21 And it was like, this is just my lifestyle now. But he was always trying to be good about it. Skirting little rules like not being as severe as tony was hoping so didn't have a gumar yeah didn't have a gumar is the only one without a gumar and like so when he died like and also not even when he died the scene where like i could tell the building where he and tony were going to get in a fist fight i was was like, Oh, just keep enjoying playing your game, please. I don't want to see Tony and Bobby Bocchiari get mad at each other. I like,
Starting point is 02:51:50 they're my, my favorite characters. And then, and then Bobby beats the fucking shit out of Tommy. Only because Tony slipped on that rug. If you watch it. Only because he wasn't kidding. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:00 Yeah. If you watch it, Tony really does. Tony's getting the best of him. And then he does slip on the rug and then things turn the other way the next morning they're just tony's seen out for himself too like oh tony tony is always out for him i know but you called out paulie as more out for himself than everyone else but i'm not tony's the boss you know like like like tony's
Starting point is 02:52:22 boss could be looking out for his people the boss can be making sure that like this is successful enterprise a lot of times looking out for number two when you're number one is the way to ensure that your number twos are loyal he turned the screws a whole lot and he killed his nephew and he killed the nephew because the nephew was uh a loose cannon he was he was endangering everyone. And what really triggered Tony, because Tony's a sociopath, and they touch on this a bit, sociopaths have most of their actual loving, human feelings are directed toward babies and animals.
Starting point is 02:52:58 And if you pay attention to Tony, those are the things he loves. And when he looked in the back and he saw that limb had went through the window and into the baby's car seat, the baby wasn't there. But he saw the potential for like Chris's behavior is going to kill that baby. Yeah. And that was it.
Starting point is 02:53:15 That was it. Chris has got to die right now. I thought he was. I hated that. He never did hook up with Chris's wife, did he? Never. No. But he was about to.
Starting point is 02:53:24 He was very tempted he would not get interrupted am i right no no they were um they were driving together to go get her some cocaine and they had a car accident was there not a time in a they were about to hook up in some back room maybe in the bottom being i think it was i think it was them doing cocaine together, and it was more like a cut shot of showing Tony staring at her ass or something. Yeah, they were in the back of the Crazy Horse. They had a little bit of a moment
Starting point is 02:53:54 in the back of the Crazy Horse, which was her club. But, you know, he never actually went anywhere. He was clearly down. He's not a good guy, Tony. He's a very flawed character. She seemed down, too.
Starting point is 02:54:10 Oh, yeah. She was pretty down, too. Yeah. I don't know. He's one of my favorite characters ever. He's great. He's so flawed. He's much like Bobby.
Starting point is 02:54:23 Tony kind of got swept into this thing he kind of took the path of least resistance but every now and then you see this glimmer of like a good man on the inside that has been corrupted and uh and is just stuck you know when it when when he's uh when he doesn't he chooses not to kill the soccer coach who had had sex with the underage girl on his on Meadows soccer team. He comes home all drunk and he's like crying almost to Carmela. He's like, I didn't do anything. I didn't do I didn't do anything bad. I didn't do anything like he's like.
Starting point is 02:54:59 He's having a moment there where, like, for once, he didn't. You know, he just he just he didn't murder a man for you know something that's one of his best moments i think i liked his wife a lot i thought she was pretty loyal um very loyal she did cheat on him yeah well and she was gonna with a wallpaper man but he cheated a lot and I think she knew that at that point. And she hid some money from him. But he wasn't doing enough to provide for her security. Well, as far as she knew, he was always doing more than enough to provide for her future.
Starting point is 02:55:36 But he couldn't tell her because she'd be an accessory after the fact. And she can't understand that for some reason. So she secretly invested $50,000 that was hidden in the bird feeder fifty grand is not going to get you too far camilla he's like what's it earning one percent it's a good show it's a really good show and it holds up pretty well like you could watch it now and sure, it's day to the touch, but it's good. I've never seen it. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 02:56:10 We wouldn't spoil like 18 plot points. It's a great show. One of the best ever. You guys are talking about important plot points. I started looking at WhoCow, so we're good. Enjoy that. Do you watch The Expanse by any chance? That Amazon space show? I watched the first season. Yeah, I finished the the first season it gets a lot better so amazon owns it now originally it was
Starting point is 02:56:30 sci-fi channel and obviously there are budgetary constraints that come along with being on the sci-fi channel as well as like content restraints as far as violence and especially language because it was on broadcast not broadcast but cable and cable has to please their sponsors. Yeah. But on Amazon, they're dropping F-bombs left and right, and they're showing a little ass crack, and it's got light years better. Somewhere, it's either season two or season three when Amazon gets a hold of the property.
Starting point is 02:56:58 Now, season four, which was last year, was a bit of a downturn. I think Woody and I both agree. Woody really hated it. I don't even know if he got all the way through it. Yeah.urn. I think Woody and I both agree. Woody really hated it. I don't even know if he got all the way through it. Yeah, I just disliked it. But season five just began, and Amazon does a cool thing where they release the first three episodes
Starting point is 02:57:15 of a season on day one, and then thereafter it's weekly. So you can either binge watch, or you can watch one and save the other one. Watch it however you want. But I'm halfway through the second episode of Season 5, and I'm digging it. They're back to basics. They're back in space again, which is what I like the most.
Starting point is 02:57:37 Season 4, they were on this planet for a good chunk of the season, like all the main characters. So they pulled like a walking dead where they stay stationary and yeah yeah instead of being like space pirates like like flying around the solar system getting up into getting into all sorts of like random stuff and i like the space travel aspect of it i like how the tech works in that universe you know it's not all that more advanced than us you know if we put our if the earth made it its goal to do the things that they're doing we could probably get there in a hundred years
Starting point is 02:58:10 like if we were actually trying um so and that's probably i don't know what the time period is but it's probably a hundred years from now it looks like that 150 something like that i don't know it's a good show um i like a lot of the stuff that amazon has done and i like did you were never really here actually they did that they did um suspiria remake they've done some good shit yeah there's so many content creators out there now like like like companies i guess it's hbo max is getting the new movies there. I don't have HBO max yet, but they have my attention because you need to get it. And just to watch Barry,
Starting point is 02:58:50 I finished the first season of Barry. Fantastic show. Oh, I've seen it all. I really like it too. It's really good. Yeah. HBO has got some great stuff on it.
Starting point is 02:59:00 Their whole catalog is all is almost worth it. I think they just may, I'm a little confused because, was on MIDI's HBO Max and I was getting it for free, but I had side loaded it so that I could get it on the Amazon Fire device, but then Amazon signed a deal with HBO. So now it's on there. Well, that made my side loaded version like kaput. So I had to uninstall it and click HBO again
Starting point is 02:59:25 and it loaded my HBO but now it's been upgraded to HBO Max and I don't think I'm paying more. So I'm a little confused. But I have HBO Max nonetheless. Hmm. Alright. Maya. I don't understand. Sorry. Maya
Starting point is 02:59:41 gives me HBO Max for free. So I just take it how does it where it is go hbo go was the one you wanted for game of thrones now it's max is go still around how are they different i don't think it was still around i think they just i think it just upgraded to hbo max that's what it seems like because i've just got hbo max and it's like i'm like what i have an account well all right like i guess i don't need midi's password and everything anymore but yeah um hbo's got a lot of great content and getting all those warner brother brothers movies is a boon that's uh you know wonder woman is coming out in 13 days no eight days and fuck like i i feel like that alone is worth it because like if i wanted to
Starting point is 03:00:29 like watch it on even its dvd release what does it usually cost like almost twenty dollars to like you have to they make you buy like at first the digital content long before you're able to just rent it for and then when you rent it it's gonna be like seven dollars and it's a while before that drops to four dollars and this whole fucking scheme but if you just gotta tweet i'm actually just get it on christmas day you said wonder woman was coming out in eight days and i'm like right there's something else huge about to drop bell delphine i'd rather watch bell delphine get fucked than uh than uh wonder woman 1984 and wonder woman 1984 looks pretty fucking good uh we haven't talked i almost wish taylor was here for this
Starting point is 03:01:12 but the vaccines are coming out today they are as we record this the second one got approved by the fda the merrick one or something no it's closer to modena or moderna yeah okay okay um so they have six million doses or seven million doses queued up and ready to ship they're gonna go they're gonna be at their destination next week pfizer's has pfizer has three million doses already arrived by two days ago so update on the pfizer thing so um i heard this on the radio today like literally an hour before we started filming and it's they the guy on the radio said bell's palsy no god i hope that's not true it's um it was conservative talk radio but it's this guy called eric erickson I think, who's like, got his head on.
Starting point is 03:02:05 So like, like, he's been saying Trump lost for a month. And, you know, he's like, yeah, the vaccines are here. And that's a good thing. You know, he's pro vaccine. But he said something like, originally, they thought you needed six doses of the Pfizer vaccine, but it turns out it's only four. So they have like 30% more doses than they originally thought they did. Hmm. No, I thought it was two doses for both of them. I don't think he means injections. I think maybe he means like,
Starting point is 03:02:39 Oh, like the size of the injections, something like that. I, I, I, I, I didn't quite understand exactly what he meant
Starting point is 03:02:46 like like maybe it takes six vials they thought it took six vials and it actually takes four vials or something like that doses per vial i just happen to know that okay okay well then maybe it turned out that maybe they thought it was four doses per vial and it's actually six in any case like like it was there's a lot more of it than they thought there was initially because of the dosage cool that was the takeaway well that's nice um yeah i don't know i'm looking forward to being immune i'm looking me too man on a plane i'm looking forward to i don't know get out and about and uh yeah it's cool so anyway i don't know if the fact that we shipped i'm trying to figure out we should 10 million doses in call it 10 days is that relevant can
Starting point is 03:03:36 we extrapolate from that or i think more likely i'm counting up a bunch of stored doses you know they've been manufacturing this for a month and then all of that just shipped this week but we can't expect next week to be 10 million more doses god i hope so i hope they get it i hope they can get i hope i can get the the vaccine soon that's what i hope there's gonna be there's gonna be so many dummies that don't want it. I want it. I'm counting on that. I want it so bad. I want it right now. Just fucking give it to me. I'm tired of having to wear a mask everywhere and be worried about giving this to my older relatives and just hiding in my fucking house all the time.
Starting point is 03:04:21 I want to go out. After the first dose, you have some level of immunity already. It takes a little bit. I don't know, 10 days or out after the first dose you have some level of immunity already it takes a little bit i don't know 10 days or something after the first dose but um it's like oh that that's encouraging to me because at least it's not i think it's the first dose and it's about three weeks then you get your second dose and then 10 days after that you're as good as you're gonna get but that is what four and a half weeks? That's a little while. But if 10 days after your first dose, you're almost there, that's encouraging. You know? For sure.
Starting point is 03:04:50 Yeah. That's very helpful. I mean, I want to go to the movies. I love going to the movies. I like the whole experience. I like getting popcorn. I like paying too much for a soda. I don't hate wearing a mask.
Starting point is 03:05:04 If I'm vaccinated and wearing a mask makes you a soda and i don't hate wearing a mask if i'm vaccinated and wearing a mask makes you feel better i don't care i don't know why people hate it as much as they do now if you're going to the gym or something i can imagine why you know i heard uh derek from more plates more dates in one of his videos is like it doesn't make it any fucking easier i can tell you that i'm like okay right So if he finds doing cardio with a mask on sucks, I hear you. I haven't even tried that, but it doesn't make it easier, I guess. You've probably done cardio with a mask. What's your opinion, Kyle?
Starting point is 03:05:35 Does it suck? I've never done cardio with a mask. Oh, okay. I wore one of those masks that's meant to decrease your breathing potential before. One of those altitude masks. But that's a whole different thing. Yeah. I haven't tried that.
Starting point is 03:05:51 They're popular in jiu-jitsu circles, so I've seen them a lot, but I haven't worn one. What's your take on it? It's like suffocating. It's like every breath is like three-quarters of a breath. First of all, the one I had was adjustable. So you could determine how much you wanted to suffocate yourself but uh but yeah it's um you know i think it's t it's uh it's building uh cardio capacity so that you know if you can operate and run through your jits drills at 60 percent o2 levels then whenever you're actually in the ring at 100%,
Starting point is 03:06:26 you're even better. It's going to feel easy. Yeah. Best to you. The internet says it doesn't work, that you have to really be at altitude and live at altitude to get more red blood cells and stuff. My common sense seems like it should work.
Starting point is 03:06:41 I know that in swimming, people work really hard to build their red blood cell count. I don't know if it's the count or the size of it. I think it's the count. But as you get in better shape, you have more red blood cells. And it's particularly important in swimming because it's an oxygen deprived sport. When you look sideways, you push the water instead of slice through it. You're less hydrodynamic. So you breathe as little as you can. And especially in the sprints. Anyway, that's why it matters so much to swimmers.
Starting point is 03:07:08 That's why I have a whatever 1990s background in this. It could be out of date. So it just seems like if you wear a mask that deprives you of oxygen, your body would learn to compensate, but they say it doesn't. So I don't know. Anybody ever wear a snorkel? Yep.
Starting point is 03:07:24 Yeah. Really? I mean, for the races oh i thought you were asking if you've ever experienced a snorkel before i'm asking if anyone ever like swam uh you know went to like like like maybe like a james bond rebreather those don't work that's that's fiction but i don't know if that would work if that would be better i i see where you're going from you don't have to turn your head um but you're also that restricts your breathing too i almost my gut says i'd rather turn my head and get a good breath than not turn it and deal with bad ones or potentially get a gulp of water yeah right that i guess you could just dump it.
Starting point is 03:08:05 If the guy next to me had a snorkel, occasionally I'd splat it. Flick a little water in it. If you're an experienced swimmer, Woody, I imagine Kyle saying, or you could swallow water, would be like telling an NHL player, but sometimes you
Starting point is 03:08:21 slip on the ice, right? Well, not really. But if you're taking these deep breaths that and you're like i just imagine you just inhale a gulp of water i just i'm saying like i imagine a professional swimmer like has that timed so precisely like it's got to be rare for them to fuck up he's saying you would dump it in my snorkel when i'm trying to breathe like oh i see that oh yeah i don't know you just do that because i've done that like snorkeling i've i've accidentally inhaled water and like just almost died
Starting point is 03:08:50 it's awful you realize how like bad your body isn't handling it you get a quarter ounce of water in your lungs yeah it doesn't like it no and you're like god damn i'm fragile this is uh this is on a video game topic but just now uh sony decided to pull cyberpunk 2077 from the playstation store after a disastrous bug-filled week uh people are comparing it to the no man's sky release but the big news there is sony just pulled cyberpunk 2077 they're like we're not they're issuing uh refunds to people who bought it from the sony store because of how many problems there are even on the ps5 there you can't get oh yeah yeah okay i didn't give it a four holy shit i didn't know it was that bad i thought it was just a buddy of mine got it and said it
Starting point is 03:09:41 was glitchy but fun so i was like oh it's like skyrim you know elder scrolls or something fallout but i didn't know it was that bad that's what my brother said he he was like this game is fun it's kind of buggy and silly but that was when he was first starting but i guess it has the same you know problem that skyrim did early on where it's like yeah those bugs might be silly and fun the first eighth of the way through the game but then you get past that and it's like oh wait all those bugs are preventing me from being able to pursue the plot lines and the storylines that i want to so fuck oh no oops i hit that skyrim glitch where there's just no assassins guild there's just she'll just keep asking you have you delivered the soul to me
Starting point is 03:10:20 it's like yes but pr person from is it project red do i have that right the people that make it i think so the project i think it is yeah cd project red okay well anyway their pr person was like we have to fix this game it doesn't matter what it costs doesn't matter if it's profitable at this point as a corporation we need to restore our good name and like it costs no object. We've got to make this game great or we won't have a great name anymore. And I read it and I'm like, Ooh, that is admirable.
Starting point is 03:10:55 That's amazing. They're like screw profits. We have to make this great. Our reputation is at stake. And then I'm like, actually, that's just really good PR. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:11:04 I was going to say, it's like, no, that's just really good pr yeah i was gonna say it's like no that's the pr person saying right our person is just a professional liar that's what pr is yeah it might not have been the pr person but yeah whatever it was it was project red like it's some senior guy and uh yeah i so i bought it for a second and then i'm like well you know let's wait and see let's wait and see if they really come through on that. Isn't that a cataclysmic failure for it to release so badly that Sony is giving refunds? Yeah. It's weird because I'm sure it's not the worst game on Sony's PlayStation.
Starting point is 03:11:38 It's probably getting the most complaints, though. Here's what I think, though. I think if Cyberpunk didn't release, cold war would be getting those complaints so i'm kind of pissed off that cyberpunk's glitchier because i would have more roasting they stole everything from me don't worry in 11 months there will be a brand new cod for you to hate yes i can't wait i love how that's your like niche in the community where it's like, hey, there's a brand new COD. And if you like it, you're a fucking retard. Here's 10 videos.
Starting point is 03:12:09 Why? You're fucking killing it. So that's great. I was going to say, somebody said today in a comment, if they ever fix Call of Duty and make a really good game, your channel is going to die. And I'm like, yes, you're right. your channel is going to die and I'm like yes you're right would you be so aggravated if Call of Duty 2021
Starting point is 03:12:27 is absolutely flawless I would honestly I would just retire the YouTube channel I'd fucking go become an OnlyFans you know eboy or something at that point and play my good COD game in peace that's what I would do
Starting point is 03:12:43 are you still mostly streaming Pokemon and stuff? I haven't been streaming because I've been doing a YouTube video a day and I didn't want to overwork myself. I haven't been streaming for the past month and I can't play Cold War for more than a fucking hour before I want to
Starting point is 03:13:00 kill myself. I'm taking a break from streaming right now, but I'll probably come back next month or something. Are you as good at COD as you ever were? Yeah. So Black Ops 4, I played that one. I skipped Modern Warfare because it gave me AIDS.
Starting point is 03:13:17 Wait, the last one? Yeah, I couldn't stand it. That was good-ish. No, I could go. It's worse than Cold War, i i won't get into that um the last one i played was black ops 4 and uh i actually broke a world record on that i think it was i partied up with people from stream and we had 324 consecutive wins in tdm all streamed live. No shame. Wow. How long was that stream? It wasn't all in one go.
Starting point is 03:13:47 It was like two or three weeks, I think. How were you in the party? I guess, I mean, you had some studs with you if you won every game, but you stud yourself. Sometimes I was the best. Sometimes I was in the middle. But that game, I don't know what it was about that particular COD, but yeah, I got insanely good at it.
Starting point is 03:14:09 324, is that what you said? 324 consecutive wins, yeah. That's nice. I think my longest win streak is like 150-something. That's crazy, though. Yeah, we lost it because the servers crashed. We didn't actually lose. True story.
Starting point is 03:14:22 I lost legit like 20 games later you know to like a super sweat lord team but um yeah we got to 324 and that was the world record on xbox and uh i checked my stats on it and i was like katie wise like point top 0.5% in the world. Nice. Which was, what was your Katie? Um, three, I see 3.12, but they did it where assists counted as well. So it was like 3.84 or whatever.
Starting point is 03:14:56 Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's really good. I remember like the beginnings of cods being like, we're holding on to two baby. And like, like trying to build up enough of a like stockpile that i could suck for a while and then before too long it's like who cares like
Starting point is 03:15:12 i had a friend with a 5kd and uh this is modern warfare 2 and it wasn't price i don't want to say who it is because of the second half of the story he dashboarded from time to time and it's like if you dashboard away your worst scores that makes a huge difference you know all your negative games all your one kds like yeah you take away your worst ones and your average goes up a ton i remember doing the dashboard a couple times and every time being like this takes forever this is not worth the stats nobody's watching my channel being like wow man this guy's really good doesn't take that long you just press the xbox button then y up a i know no i mean you're turning it off and then you have to turn it back on and have to boot up and then you have to get back in the game and find a new
Starting point is 03:16:00 match like it's five minutes i don't think that still works. I don't think the dashboard and things still works. I think they fixed that whenever they got dedicated servers and stuff, so it logs everything from Activision. But I could be wrong there. Somebody correct me if I am.
Starting point is 03:16:15 But I knew a guy who had a legitimate, I believe it was like, he had two accounts on Black Ops 1. He had a legit 5.53 on his regular account. And then he had a tryhard account, like nearly a nine. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 03:16:36 He's getting a pay blow every life. This guy's name was Ron. He's still, I think he still plays. He just doesn't post. And I was like, like i gotta see if this guy's for real so i played with him in model for three we had like a six hour session this motherfucker was dropping moabs every other game every other game i got one that session we got one in the same game actually so we got a bro app but uh he was just as far as like just raw skill he's
Starting point is 03:17:08 probably the best guy i've ever seen you remember impulse no i don't there's a guy named impulse he had a 13 kd in cod 4 but so look he's really really good but he was really really campy if i recall correctly his favorite gun was an lmg he'd go to the back of the map and he just you know kill way more than he died but like if it's tdm cool but everyone played domination back in the day and he just objective was nothing had nothing to do with what he was up to he'd go 13 and one in the back basically i remember him doing better than i mean he'd get chopper gunners and stuff and but um it just i don't know x cal's kd was lower but i was way more impressed with his gameplay you know someone i remember playing
Starting point is 03:17:56 with a lot who was like it wasn't his life at all but he was not a dash boarder and he was tremendous was onslaught yeah like we would play with onslaught and like, he's being friendly old onslaught the whole time, like carrying on the conversation and everything. And you're chatting and I'm like, well, I'm 13 and 11, you know,
Starting point is 03:18:14 he's probably not doing that well either. Cause he's talking to me the whole time. And then you check the score and it's like, Oh, 41 and Oh, again, damn it. Like every night I play with onslaught probably more than I played without him he's a great guy too like onslaught oh yeah he's super great guy
Starting point is 03:18:29 uh and you guys talking about your win streaks i had some good win streaks too but i didn't want to mention them because they weren't really my doing i mean i was part of the team but for a lot of these you could have replaced me with anyone and we just still won but oh yeah like when i would roll with youtubers like you could have put a cat in my chair with a controller in front of it and my win streak would have been the same yeah bendro was really good and whenever i beat whenever i want a free-for-all with youtubers i'm like save this one we gotta write a song you're like coming up with content like the commentaries like no this one's a little too content dense i can't waste the gameplay
Starting point is 03:19:12 people won't comment about mass they'll comment on masturbating and bloody cum they're not gonna comment about my epic win i remember it got to the point when i was uploading content and it'd be like hey guys i got a gameplay i went 24 and 21 who cares uh we're gonna talk about a weird lady i stood behind in line at chipotle today and again that would be the whole the whole episode i'd have games that i thought were like good but not great you know i'd go call it 24 and 10 something like that not really a youtube game but nothing that i'm ashamed of it's a youtube game now with skull based matchmaking i feel i feel like a fucking moron when i play cold war because i'm facing just like you know six other less good looking versions of myself so i would what you need
Starting point is 03:19:58 to do is just play zombies round one through eight on dare ice and use that for an entire year i would save these good but not great games and that's what i would put painkiller already up against at the time we didn't film it was just sort of an audio thing and i i watched one not long ago and they're like i forgot how truly bad woody was at this game and i'm like this this is above average you're kind of a dick i want 24 and 10 that's not really bad i mean it's solid who was uh mark of jay that was his name he's he might still be active i don't know but i remember he used to post ludicrous scores where it'd be like twice a day he'd be uploading like modern warfare 2 128 and 3 with bad guns yeah he'd grab an fal
Starting point is 03:20:47 and just wreck everyone like this is semi auto i never watched his content ever but i remember like clicking onto a video way back in the day just to see and like he had face cam before a lot of people and like he'd be on like a 45 kill streak and he'd die and he'd be like ah that stinks man dude on a kill streak like that and to not even be bothered because he knows there's a 50 kill streak in the chamber right after this he actually won a youtuber free-for-all with ron the guy i told you about ron came in second he actually beat out ron in that free-for-all is ron ronaldinho yeah ronaldinho yeah does he still play or make content he still plays uh occasionally he'll upload a video like once a year um so i was like 38 and ronaldinho is talking about like you know you guys really ought to have six-pack abs it's
Starting point is 03:21:40 not that big of a deal six-pack abs are easy to come by. And if you don't have six-pack abs, you're probably not living the life you should. Trust me, life's a little better. I'm like, show me your abs. Show me your abs. I want to see your abs. I have no idea if he ever had six-pack abs, but now it's 10 years later. Now I want to see his abs that much more. Let's see what you got now, Ronaldinho.
Starting point is 03:22:00 I will DM him on Twitter and be like, hey, Woody wants to see your abs. I want to see you drop 100 no gameplay with skill-based matchmaking. Make it happen. But yeah, Mark of J, okay, so Modern Warfare was so bad. I know, I'm sure you guys, if you did play it, you probably liked it okay,
Starting point is 03:22:18 but Modern Warfare was so bad, Mark of J uploaded one video talking about it and how bad it was and then quit for the whole year he just was black ops 4 a good one or no i black ops 4 was good i'm going to trigger a lot of people black ops 4 was good if you were good if you were not good black ops 4 was miserable if you didn't have a team to play with like at least a few other people it was miserable because it was yeah i'm looking at to play with, like at least a few other people, it was miserable.
Starting point is 03:22:47 I'm looking at Markajay's channel. He doesn't upload much, like a few in the last year, but I went to his most recent one on Black Ops 4, and it shows the TDM, and his teammates' KDs are 1.89, 1.33, 0.86, 0.6, and
Starting point is 03:23:04 0.45, and his KD ratio is 31.89, 1.33, 0.86, 0.6, and 0.45, and his KD ratio is 31.5. Jesus Christ. Did he get two deaths? Speaking of video games, a slight change of pace. I talked to the boys and the $50 patron, and we're
Starting point is 03:23:19 going to do a rust wipe. We're either starting ... Today's Thursday, so we'll either find a Friday wipe and start tomorrow afternoon or a Saturday wipe, which is probably what we'll do, so I'll have an extra day because I've been up all day and it's
Starting point is 03:23:35 getting late and I've still got more stuff to do. I don't know if I'm... I'm going to sleep late tomorrow. If anybody wants to get in on this, just quickly become a 50 patron tonight and uh and you can join us only patrons are hearing this tonight good point well mostly anyway um yeah we're gonna have a we're gonna have a good time um i i'm i'm psyched i've never done a uh a rust wipe with this many people before
Starting point is 03:24:06 what's your estimated team size at the moment well i i usually have like if i really want to get my friends together there's like eight of us that can play um so i'm assuming that a few of those guys will jump in so i'm bringing at least six and so i would think at least 10 of the of the the patrons are going to jump in but maybe 20 because like i know a lot of them have the game and uh we're going to be playing like every day for eight hours 10 hours a day for a week so um we could easily get up to 20 i think grinding away. Okay. Which would most likely, if we pick the right server, be by far the biggest clan on the server.
Starting point is 03:24:50 And that'll make things a lot easier. If there's 20 of us against five good players, I think we'll come out ahead. Especially early game, when it's just 20 of us shooting bows. Our arrows will blot out the sun. It's not going to matter how good they are um i've never done i've never done a a big um clan like this before like i said i've played with like six people who are on steady and then maybe three or four extras who are occasionally on but like on even on our raids
Starting point is 03:25:21 it'd be like six or seven of us going at a time, but I've never played with this many people, so it'll be an interesting little development. In Rust. That'd be fun. If I'm kitted and you're more talented, can you win? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Get fucked.
Starting point is 03:25:37 Really? With a bow? I wouldn't be close. I'm bad at Rust, and so you could give me like i'm bad at rust uh and and so like you could give me like full armor and an ak um you know the best shit in the game and if someone is like legit good at the game like like they're a what you you know put in cod terms if they're a 3kd player i'm about to get embarrassed i'm about to get embarrassed is what's about to happen. If they've got a crossbow, if they've got a crossbow and like a revolver or a Python,
Starting point is 03:26:08 I'm about to get fucking embarrassed. Like, like, like actually embarrassed. Not just, not just like, ah, he got me like,
Starting point is 03:26:16 all right, I'm, I'm taking a break. I'll be back in an hour. Kind of embarrassed. Like, like that. And it's happened to me before,
Starting point is 03:26:22 you know, like, like, like you have to take a breather. It's so bad. I can't explain to you how valuable an AK-47 is in this game, Taylor. It's the tippity-top, the best. Well, it's the best, but it's not about how good it is.
Starting point is 03:26:34 It's about what it took to get. I don't know how to compare this to any game you've ever played, but that represents hours of human lifetime that were spent earning it like a lot of hours like 20 right oh my god it's hard to quantify how many hours it like first of all getting your first ak-47 can can can happen in either 30 minutes or 48 hours of grinding. It can be a bit luck-based. But to make a second one, the materials that you have to grind together to make it, the materials that you have to grind together
Starting point is 03:27:13 to have the ability to make it. Because you can't just, oh yeah, I've got all the parts. That doesn't mean shit. You don't know the blueprint. To know the blueprint, you have to take an AK-47 and destroy it this just now you know how to make an ak-47 this is but you can't just make one out of thin air you need a work
Starting point is 03:27:31 bench how'd you get the first one but um a little bit of luck a little bit of rng and like going to um difficult parts of the map and fighting ai and hoping one will drop in a crate um they you know there's like a low percent chance that they'll be in the most valuable crates in the game that are guarded by the most difficult AI that are also being farmed by the best players in the game. So you have to either be on it at 4 a.m. and hope that nobody else is grinding for it and beat all the AI and get lucky.
Starting point is 03:28:06 Or you have to kill a lot of human players who are also trying to get to the loot crates that you're trying to get to and get lucky. So it can be very discouraging. Because sometimes you'll get there. You open the crate and you've got your first AK-47. And a fucking squad of killers comes along. And they just take it away from you. And they're in the chat there's a global chat they're gonna let everybody in the server know what they just did to you like and it might be 150 people nothing about the way you have ever
Starting point is 03:28:37 described this game makes it sound fun it sounds like an ordeal it sounds frustrating it sounds like it takes a full or at least a part-time job amount of time all these are 100 accurate it is the best game i've ever played in my life i have i have never been so fucking mad at a game or so fucking overjoyed with a game as i have with rust when you fucking go and you find those kids who have been screaming racist homophobic things outside your doorstep for days for days i have they hurt my feelings one time that's hard to do a 12 year old said things i'd never heard before and i played modern warfare too this kid was so ruthless outside my base and i just had to hide inside my house.
Starting point is 03:29:26 Like, like, like when the big bad wolf was outside, cause he was so goddamn good. He couldn't be touched. We had a whole neighborhood. It's like me. It's like me and Middy have a house right here. And like, just across the street, there's two more of my friends. And just right next door, two more of my friends.
Starting point is 03:29:41 We're doing something that's technically against server rules. We're all buddies, like in a duo server, having like a non-combat rule between us. So when somebody comes fucking with you, I'm coming outside to help you deal with it. It's cheating technically, I guess you could say, but we all just wanted to play with each other.
Starting point is 03:29:58 And I'd already started on a duo server and we didn't want to quit because we'd already put 50 hours in. Anyway, this kid would come and bully the whole neighborhood he's like 11 he's 11 years old with a speech impediment and he's fucking bullying half a dozen grown-ass men and we're all just like in hey why don't you come out here and deal with me what i'm throwing down he's like i bet you won't come out here i bet you won't come out and do anything i bet you won't i bet here. I bet you won't come out here and do anything. I bet you won't.
Starting point is 03:30:26 I bet you won't. And you'd hear him eating my pumpkins outside. He's like, you can literally hear his character in game. Like when you eat something in game, he's making fun of you and he's eating. Yes. And the pumpkins are slightly valuable.
Starting point is 03:30:40 Like, like that's my source of food. That's where my food is like for my character. And it's an, it's, it's one of these games where you have to eat and drink. And pumpkins are a great source of food. That's where my food is for my character. It's one of these games where you have to eat and drink. That's where his food is. Pumpkins are a great source of food.
Starting point is 03:30:49 They really fill you up. While he's out there talking shit in like, what do you call it? VoIP? He holds a talk button and his character's mouth moves. His voice comes out. The farther away he is the more distant distance
Starting point is 03:31:06 it sounds it's it's it's a really good system as far as like in-game voice chat and he's out there fucking bet you won't come out here and do something you pussy you faggot you pussy you piece of shit bitch you pussy shit old ass man what are you doing here playing this fucking game you pussy bitch bet you're unemployed you pussy bitch faggot faggot i fuck your mother i fuck your sister i shit your daddy's ass you're just not even hungry i'm just eating it for the sake of it and i'm just sitting there in my base with a fire burning so i don't freeze to death because it's one of those games where you need a fire burning so you don't freeze death and i'm just like this motherfucker this motherfucker but i don't want to go out because he wants me to come out because he's one of those games where you need a fire burning so you don't freeze to death. And I'm just like, this motherfucker, this motherfucker. But I don't want to go out because he wants
Starting point is 03:31:47 me to come out because he's going to kill me and take whatever I take out to him. He's just wanting me to give him more things. Because if I go out there with a shotgun and I try to kill him, he's going to murder me and take that shotgun and put it in his backpack and then he's going to talk some more shit until I bring him another shotgun. That's all he's doing out there. He's farming
Starting point is 03:32:04 us. He doesn't need to hit the sulfur nodes and the stone nodes he doesn't have to chop trees because he's got us so is he just an uber alpha and everyone is afraid of this he was a cheater is what he was realistically like like he was just there's a lot of cheaters in rust and like he had a semi-automatic pistol with no recoil, and it was fully automatic. For the tier that we were in, like the tech tree, that was god mode. He was just triple headshotting us instantaneously, and we're all trying to fucking kill him with a double barrel. It was just infuriating. I can't tell you how upset. No, he quit the server.
Starting point is 03:32:42 A lot of the great players will play for the first two days of a wipe, bully people like me, and then just quit and go to a new server. Whereas we're all trying to get to the top tier of tech so that we can leverage all of our work hours into late-night raids and just blow bases up and steal all of their things. It's very satisfying to raid in that game. But this guy was a mercenary of sorts, floating from server to server, causing havoc wherever he was.
Starting point is 03:33:11 Yeah. Eating pumpkins and threatening girls. Eating my pumpkins, my corn. He chopped the shotgun traps off my base. He was too sneaky for those. I just love the thought. Oh, we got a little trap here, huh? And you hear him clink, clink, clink. Oh, there got a little trap here, huh? And you hear him clink, clink, clink.
Starting point is 03:33:27 Oh, there's a little trap here. And you hear it break. Oh, what happened to your trap? And I'm just like, well, I guess it sounds like you broke my trap. Did you say anything back? I tried not to engage. Like some of my friends don't get it. You just ignore people like that.
Starting point is 03:33:44 I always do. I only talk shit if I can back it up. And I rarely can. age like some of my friends don't get it like you just ignore people like that i always do i i i only talk shit if i can back it up and i rarely can but so i now and then you use the charm as your weapon right every now and then you'll attempt to befriend or reason that works a lot like i'm usually able to like like if it's an adult i can have an adult conversation with him but you can't reason with a child you can't reason with a child with a speech impediment on rust at three in the morning he is he's already gone down a dark dark path in life it was a school night that kid's he had no business being on that game with us like he was clearly a child on a school night like bullying grown men trash-talking option might have been fun, too.
Starting point is 03:34:27 You could have mentioned it was a school night. You could have imitated his impediment. There was nothing I could say. Oh, you don't... The game becomes unimportant at this point, right? At this point, what matters is that you can speak without an impediment. What matters is that you have had sex before. Oh, he didn't believe me when I told him that.
Starting point is 03:34:47 What are you saying? You want to fuck me? I'm a living pedophile. You wouldn't believe me. You can't talk your way out of that. You just got to shut up and take your beating. What you're saying is exactly what Anthony Kumi had described when he played EverQuest. And he's like, and there's this one kid that was bullying me
Starting point is 03:35:06 and just stole all my shit after I worked to build it. He's talking about Rust. No, I know what he's talking about Rust. Anthony Cumia has been playing Rust. Has he really? Yeah, he was talking about how awful it was last time he was on here. How kids were just bullying him.
Starting point is 03:35:21 He was like, I've got a lot of money and I fuck a lot and fuck you and like the rust player base in general is incredibly toxic like because the name of the game is ruin everyone else's good good time because everybody's grinding as hard as you are if they're anybody like if you're going to have anything in the game, then you have grinded and worked hard for hours and hours on end. Like you just have to,
Starting point is 03:35:51 there's no way around it in this game. And so like, you know, you, people come while you're asleep, while you're offline and they take it all away. They blow a hole in your base. They go inside,
Starting point is 03:36:02 they seal the base up behind them and put their own fucking door up. And now they just like eat your base from the inside out like maggots and take it all back to their base. And when you come home, your locks are changed. And it's just like, oh my God, we worked for literally 12 hours the first day, 15 hours the second day, eight hours the third day day i went for a one hour nap and i came back and all of that's been taken away from me and so like everybody who's like a rust player who plays a lot has had that happen to them repeatedly and so they are so frustrating they're just hardened they're awful evil people i remember so woody craft i've mentioned a bunch
Starting point is 03:36:43 of times had a similar uh game mode but it's called factions when that happened to players we would sometimes as a server get them back on their feet like the most valuable item was called a spawner and this would spawn monsters and they would create these traps that kill the monsters and they would drop things so that they would make money uh we sold spawners for real life money. But we also sold them for in-game money. It was impossible. Like it was really hard. So you might buy your first six.
Starting point is 03:37:12 Then once you have six of them, then this is like 180 bucks too. Like it's not nothing. And then once you have six of them, well, now you've got enough to earn all your way up to 50 and 70 and what have you. People would get raided. They'd steal all their stuff. So we'd be like, right here's four we just didn't want them to quit they quit the server they'd leave minecraft or at
Starting point is 03:37:32 least woody craft and it was a i felt like it was good business and it was kind to get them back on their feet again we do that too like i like to think i like to think i'm a really nice rust player like i usually don't have a personal grudge against the people I'm rating. Sometimes I do. And that makes it so much more fun. Like if you know who you're after, if when you find them asleep in their base, you're like,
Starting point is 03:37:57 here he is. And you're like taking screenshots as you kill them with a pickaxe, like, like to send to them later. Um, that is the best moment in rust but sometimes you're just like raiding people because they're too close to your base or because they were just there they were they were convenient target that was like isolated
Starting point is 03:38:15 and you didn't think anybody else was going to come and counter raid you while you were blowing in because that's incredibly upsetting uh and you know they'll come back the next day and like hey did you kill me like what's your name like he's like uh ice prince 101 like yeah i killed you can we have some of our stuff back it's like yeah actually yeah we you had a lot of shit we don't want like like yeah you can have all this back and like sometimes we'll be just so rich that like there's there's two of us playing it'll just be me and Middy playing a duo server. We've got like 50 AK-47s. It's like,
Starting point is 03:38:49 yeah, have some. We'll just literally throw loot out of the base and give it to the peons who have no way of getting it. I'm always generous and cool in the game, I like to think. I like to think I'm a nice guy. I'm a benevolent Rust player. A cult leader.
Starting point is 03:39:04 A cult leader. I mean, they all are, right? Yeah, we'll be flying that RSK flag over on a Rust server this weekend, though. So that's going to be, well, not just the weekend, the whole fucking week. You don't just play for a weekend. Things are just getting started by Monday morning. Cool. I guess that makes sense.
Starting point is 03:39:24 Yeah, so if either of you want to like pop into rust you don't have to like i told everybody else in the discord to the discord like that that would be enough because if people don't know i don't want to play pete kyle or maybe a couple guys will share what they're doing in game and uh and i've done other games like poker and stuff where it's like i don't you know the old thing you play at the poker table. You look to your left, you look to the right. If you don't know who the sucker is, it's you. I already knew that.
Starting point is 03:39:51 So when I get, when I go to the poker, I'm just there to watch and have fun. And sometimes I even talk trash, but I'm not betting my money. Yeah. Yeah. You can definitely pop in and watch cause it's going to be fun. I love this shit so much. So I'm looking forward to trying to play it with a bunch of people i i fully expect to get upset and mad and uh i i think that a lot of them are going to be so bad that it really upsets me and uh i saw you but i'm gonna do it anyway but you're a consummate professional so
Starting point is 03:40:20 what'd you say i said i saw you upset before you lost at poker and you felt like the person that beat you didn't beat you properly he didn't beat me properly you were very bad you were you were uh you were salty i could taste you across the internet yeah it was the second hand uh in like three hands like like he'd already gotten me once on a bad beat and then he got me again on a bad beat like he called a he just played it poorly and still won because that's poker sometimes but i know how to calculate poker odds and the first time he beat me he had like a four percent chance but the second time he beat me he had a two percent chance and i was more mad i guess i was mad at him for making such a stupid call you were name
Starting point is 03:41:05 calling and you like at first i thought it was a bit for a little bit oh no it was not a bit no he was genuinely upset with the way that this person played there was a good bit of money on the line you know i i uh i was if if i win that hand then i i'm probably up a couple hundred bucks, but lost that hand, so now I'm sitting watching. You say you can calculate poker odds. I think Woody and I can too. It's just that we look at it and go, ah, our odds are bad. We're not going to win. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:41:38 I mean, I can calculate the exact poker odds on any hand. I'm not bragging. You show me a roll flush, I can calculate they're going to win. What if I've got a higher one? Anyway. Yeah, that was very upsetting. I remember exactly what you're talking about. That's literally the only time
Starting point is 03:41:55 I've gotten upset in poker. Look, it was good content. Oh, yeah. I have no apologies. You might not have enjoyed making it, but I enjoyed watching it. Watching you get mad at, what's the word guessing game?
Starting point is 03:42:07 Codenames. Codenames. That is hilarious. Because you'll be like, beach, beach. I said beach. And there'll be like umbrella on there. And they'll be like, I don't know. That's more affiliated with rain.
Starting point is 03:42:20 I'm not sure if we should put that. The other day. Beach. And then you get so angry. Because I'm the best Codenames player there is that I've ever met, anyway. I'm sure they're better in the world, but I haven't met them yet. No, don't sell yourself short.
Starting point is 03:42:33 You're the best ever. I frequently win games with three clues. And I was trying to win a game in three clues, which normally, five, six, seven clues. And my clue was metallic for three words. And the words that were out there were liver.
Starting point is 03:43:00 Do you associate that with metallic maybe? Not yet, no. Really? Nobody? The taste of it is metallic. Yeah, exactly. You've had liver before. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:43:11 Something that had to do with electricity and I think maybe iron or something like that. And it was like for three. You're going for at least two. That's decent. One is like, okay, well, anybody can get one. And then three is like, three is a big deal. Four is almost impossible. And they couldn't figure out liver for the longest time,
Starting point is 03:43:34 and that was very upsetting for me. In fairness, like, I wouldn't. That is a stretch. There is the process of elimination, though. And someone had even said the field was, yeah. I mean, with the process of elimination,
Starting point is 03:43:50 you kind of get back to liver being like the only thing that could make any sense. And one of my team members had literally said, well, liver tastes metallic. And, and I'm just sitting there like someone else follow up and be like, yeah,
Starting point is 03:44:02 that's a good idea. Someone say something. And nobody says anything. So I know that you're going for three words in this game or not yes yeah i put the numeral three after my clue uh it's a very fun game um and uh the the the game is made such that there will be a lot of conflict on the board where like well i would say baseball but one of their words it just happens to be basketball so i so i'm trying to get round and like diamond you know and oh baseball baseball diamond and a baseball's round but like one of their words is basketball
Starting point is 03:44:40 so like it completely like fucks you over like there's a lot of situations like that where you've got to get real creative and be a bit of a human thesaurus and just figure out creative ways and you've also got to know your audience sailing an ocean without saying water and it's like how do i accomplish that yeah it's a really fun game and uh but if somebody's dumb it can be upsetting because like if if I'm the clue giver and I fail, I'm the one getting shit for it. You know, everybody's gonna be like, what'd you do? But I, I usually win. I have an excellent record, but isn't part of the job to know your audience.
Starting point is 03:45:20 It is to know your audience. Um, but you know, sometimes you've got to go for like there's another guy competing against you and you're both trying to like get all your words guessed and sometimes you're just in a situation where you've got to go for like something like i just suggested like a three-word clue or you lose it's just a flat-out loss it's like next turn they only have to get one word we got to get three words right now because we're not gonna get another turn and So that scenario pops up occasionally It's it's my favorite like group game
Starting point is 03:45:51 I think I think we've been playing a lot of that for like over a year and that hasn't gotten old like among us Got old so fast for me like I just didn't give a shit anymore who the fucking spy was or the imposter was I didn't even want to be the imposter anymore. I was tired of connecting wires. So that I don't have to connect wires. Yes. That was the only reason. And that game had legs if the little tasks weren't so
Starting point is 03:46:15 fucking boring. They're terrible. And also they make you keep doing them after you're dead. Yeah. I should be able to quit these stupid tasks that should be my my consolation prize exactly not do this i should like the only fun part of that game is riffing with your friends that's it like even that i mean the game is like designed to make arguments and enemies and that's what's that's the only fun part I'm saying. It's fun to do the arguments
Starting point is 03:46:46 and have the enemies. I'm much more on zombies, for example, where we're all on the same team. Well, I prefer that, I guess, overall. But a little bit of strife, conflict, that can be fun. As long as everybody knows you're fucking around. Sorry, go ahead, Blame Truth. Hot take,
Starting point is 03:47:02 Trouble in Terrorist Town is better than Among Us as far as the traitor games go. I've never played that. the trader games i've never played that gmod you ever played that no yeah yeah i played a good bit we just play a lot of gmod stuff um it was okay my problem was like when you're in the imposter like i was brand new to mouse and keyboard at the time that might have been my first mouse and keyboard game and i was just like even as the imposter i was like oh my god i don't know i don't think i can hit these guys they're moving around pretty fast like i was really struggling like being able to shoot people because i was so brand new to mouse and keyboard i got a new computer uh it's still in the box nice i didn't want to set everything up
Starting point is 03:47:43 like the day before painkiller already and put it at risk but i'll probably do it tomorrow so awesome what is it so it's the the new amd chip the 5950x and uh one of the newer nvidia cards the 39 no 3800 what it is is that right or 39 30? 3080, I think. Yeah, that's right. 3080. I'm awful. Yeah, so I was going to get the 3090, which is their top one right now.
Starting point is 03:48:14 And I watched the Tech Jesus people. Gamers Nexus? Something like that? Do you know this YouTube channel? No, but I know Nvidia cards and the top of the line is usually marginally better i always get the top one but in this case it's nearly double the price they were talking about two frames per second better something very slim that's how it is every time yeah the game i'm into
Starting point is 03:48:38 right now is cpu bound so it might not even help. It might help zero, literally zero. And, uh, the Nexus people, they just made it seem like you were stupid if you bought it. Like, like I was like, this is me. I game a lot, right?
Starting point is 03:48:53 I play a lot of hours per week and, uh, and I've saved up some money. So I'm like, this is on the target audience for this 30, 90, I should be getting the 30, 90.
Starting point is 03:49:00 That's what I'm all about. And then like, this guy is like a stupid person would buy this this isn't even for gamers this is a workstation card for people that need lots of computational it's not even a gaming card they're just marketing it as such and and they i just felt like i always had this concern that a fool and his money are soon parted right i've saved some money cool cool cool but not enough that i can make financial mistakes for the next 30 years and still be okay so i'm always on the
Starting point is 03:49:31 lookout for like who's trying to separate me from my cash and uh i'm like i think i want the 3080 it would be the same price roughly to get a 3080 and then like a 4080 next year and i'll be in a better spot than perhaps to get a 3090 right now yeah 3080 ti's uh just got announced nice yeah yeah i'll probably get one and build a new pc or just buy one uh maybe i'll probably get one like when they're plentiful and the price is reduced like in the summer whenever yeah i uh you know i might get one i might wait for the next one i'm not sure as a tarkov guy i probably won't get one it's so cpu limited bottleneck dependent sure that uh it'd probably be a waste of money unless i switch games yeah i i'm gonna play a lot of different games i i'm really interested in that uhhammer 40K game that's coming out.
Starting point is 03:50:25 That looks so fucking good. I'm not even that big of a gamer, honestly. But looking at that trailer and knowing how much fun I had in Vermintide, that's going to be an absolute blast. We're going to have a lot of fun playing that. We are going to play that a lot. That trailer got me hyped. It was a good trailer.
Starting point is 03:50:43 The music was good. The music was good. The gameplay looked good. Taylor, say that again, please. I cut you off. Have you heard of this game? Warhammer 40K? Something Tide. I was actually looking it up right now. Raid Tide?
Starting point is 03:50:57 Dude, if you know Vermintide, it's the next one. The 40K version of it. You could call it a really current Left the next one but you could call it like a really current left for dead but you fight more zombies than or monsters than zombies yeah so the idea of four people co-op going from one side of the map dark tide dark tide okay and um it looks amazing i can't wait to get it uh it's a buy new pc kind of game if it requires it although it probably doesn't um that's the uh trailer by the way blame truth if you want to watch it later or something yeah
Starting point is 03:51:31 it's sick looking i'm looking at screens right now it's pretty have you ever played uh vermintide so vermintide is like a four-player co-op you play these different classes um it's like sword it's like hack and slash and you're facing massive hordes of i don't know if you know anything about warhammer at all but one of the races you fight against are the the skaven which are these rat men so you're just hacking through endless waves of rat men it's a lot like left uh left for dead in that there are like special rat men so there'll be like a giant rat man with a machine for dead in that there are like special rat men so there'll be like a giant rat man with a machine gun arm and there'll be like a rat sorcerer who's going to
Starting point is 03:52:10 cast a spell on you and all sorts of shit like that and uh there there's uh you're you're trying to unlock better and better weapons and and gadgets as you go and one of us is the dwarf and one's the elf and one is the human and one's the wizard and i'm watching gameplay from this trailer and i'm already sold yeah yeah it looks like left for dead mixed with like an action rpg or something yeah vermintide's out now it's the fantasy version of the warhammer universe it's like olden times in an alternate universe where muskets and magic and bows and arrows and axes and swords and all that bullshit.
Starting point is 03:52:50 Like I said, one of us was a dwarf, one's an elf, one's a man, and one's a wizard. But on the 40k version, it's like the year 40,000. So humanity has completely colonized the galaxy
Starting point is 03:53:05 and uh all instead of like fantasy shit like elves and dwarves they're still those things are still represented represented but they're represented by mutants and aliens yeah that we've encountered on all these worlds and so that's what's going on in this new game or it'll be like oh yeah there's still dwarves but it's dwarves in the year 40 000. having the best trebuchets they have the ultimate machine gun work through or whatever one thing about the imperium of man in the 40k universe is they're incredibly xenophobic to the point where like i i was wondering like like wait a minute how are we playing as like i didn't know what those things were, the classes that are represented in the new Darktide game,
Starting point is 03:53:50 because there's a big hulking human and a little dwarf-like human. So I did some research. Those are mutated humans who have been mutated by living on colonized planets with tons of gravity. Ah. So that guy is just tall. He's a big giant human who has evolved on a planet with tons of gravity
Starting point is 03:54:10 where being an intelligence was not a strong suit. So his race in particular is essentially like retarded. The smartest of them, it said, the ones who get special armor and elite status can count to
Starting point is 03:54:28 10. Not bad. Those are the ones that get the good armor and get to be commanders if they can count to 10. He's been working for them because they were a lot more imposing than the rest of the people. Enormous. He's just enormous. He looks like he's 8 foot tall, 450 pounds of muscle.
Starting point is 03:54:44 That's who I want to play. Always want to play the tank. Enormous. He's just enormous. He looks like he's 8 foot tall, 450 pounds of muscle. That's who I want to play. Always want to play the tank. It gives you the most leeway for being the worst. This is true. I might just get Vermintide. I'm still rocking a 1070 in my rig. It should be able to handle that.
Starting point is 03:54:59 It's an older game. It works fine on my 1080 Ti. We played a shitload of vermin tide until i had like gotten everything i could get and uh beat it on the hardest difficulty and uh like like unlocked all the it's hard unlocking weapons in that game um weapons have rarity and uh the rarer the weapon is the better it is it makes sense but um to like you have to play on a hard difficulty to even have a two percent chance of getting a rare weapon at the end of a raid and so so like it's like if you succeed every 30 minutes you have a two percent chance yeah so buckle up you're gonna be doing
Starting point is 03:55:41 this for a while like i think I don't know how many hours. I don't want to log into Steam right now and look, but, like, I would guess that I have somewhere between 200 and 300 hours in this game, and I think I have three legendary items, maybe four, in 300 hours. And that's a lot of legendary. That means, like, your kit is pretty much entirely legendary. Yeah. That's the red ones. Orange or amber, lot of legendary that means like your kit is pretty much entirely legendary yeah yeah that's
Starting point is 03:56:05 the red ones orange or amber uh depending on your monitor settings mine's always kind of more yellowish than everyone else's i can never tell how long i've been playing a game on steam because i'll leave games open for days and it'll be like i've played this for 5 000 hours that's how my tarkov is i i started playing Escape from Tarkov in February. I have over 6,000 hours in it. Warhammer 2, the more RTS game,
Starting point is 03:56:34 is I would just keep it open on my gaming laptop and it would say 7,000, 8,000 hours played. And I'm like, that's just the amount of time that's passed since March. I was wrong. I got 192 hours played and i'm like that's just the amount of time that's passed since march i think i played i was wrong i got 192 hours okay yeah but still it's a huge grind huge grind um but it's co-op so it's really fun to play with your friends because you're like each of your
Starting point is 03:57:01 characters kind of uh compliments everyone else's there's a lot of synergistic stuff going on. We're like, oh, yeah, I have this ability that will heal us all a little bit. Or, you know, oh, yeah, when I shoot these arrows, everyone has a job. Like everyone knows what their job is. It's nice to play with friends. I don't know if you play with strangers very much, but I played more with strangers. And so like no one runs the help the strangers attributes, but those are very important.
Starting point is 03:57:28 They're a big deal. It's all kind of everyone out for himself. Everyone wants to be the kill leader, even though kill leaders, maybe not the most important person on the team. Right. Sometimes, sometimes not,
Starting point is 03:57:41 but playing with a team, you know, like maybe Kyle's really adept at handling hordes of people and someone else does a huge one shot damage and he's better for the bosses. Yeah. It's like my character, the flail guy, was more just like go in the thick of it and take a bunch of damage and make sure that nobody is bothering Kyle, who's going to do a tremendous amount of DPS, I get, damage per second, to the specials. So if Kyle can just, his character with
Starting point is 03:58:12 the crazy bow, can focus in on all the specials, and me and the dwarf who's Woody at one point, we just absorb all the hits and keep the horde at bay. That was the strategy. I had no ranged weapon, so I would often be like kyle assassin get him get him yeah yeah yeah by the end i switched to the the dwarf that uh could
Starting point is 03:58:32 go invisible and did like huge amounts of one hit damage and i could just i could kill the bosses and like by myself sometimes it was the one yeah it was so fun i was like visible dwarf i would yeah i should have said elf you were stacking like so many bonus multipliers that you're just doing huge amounts of damage really fun game it almost got not fun where you would be like all right uh a summoning lizard person is about to come down uh taylor you just go kill all the all the skaven and the armored guys and i'm gonna go ahead and he's dead all right and he's gone and yeah i like it so i i had a ranked up human marcus kruber and then i switched to my dwarf and i had fun being weak the guy that was enjoyable for me
Starting point is 03:59:20 was like all right guys i'm gonna need an adult here. I'm in a hot spot. I liked my guy because the more damage he took, the more damage he dealt. And so if people are like, you're taking so much damage, I'd be like, it's tactics. It's not because I'm bad at blocking. It's a fun game. When's the next one come
Starting point is 03:59:44 out? Sometime next year. sometime next year late next year yeah probably special which who knows maybe we'll get a nice surprise like a march release of that game that would be a blast the good content comes on christmas very true yeah i'm also looking forward to like warhammer uh you guys all know i'm talking about bell delphine right oh yeah it's all about all right warhammer 3 you're talking about the the new rts yeah yeah the new rts and that's 40k also right like no that's fantasy oh thank god okay i'm in for it then i wouldn't want to play that kind of structured game with with guns it wouldn't make any sense in like the the battle plan format i mean there are guns you know like like like there's plenty of guns but they're like well but
Starting point is 04:00:28 it's like the dwarf gun where it's a blunderbuss they have where the lane just range is severely limited it's it's not like machine guns usually i mean there are some machine guns i guess there's like rattling gunners there's there's all sorts of crap they've added a lot of shit lately like the the skaven have gotten a lot better I haven't played in a bit, but after this Rust kick, I may try again. Did Skaven need to get better? The Skaven were already a really good faction if I remember. They added Clan Molder,
Starting point is 04:00:53 which is like all these big fucking giant monsters. Oh, that's what Skaven needed. Big monsters. Now they have big monsters. They made the Skaven so good. Now the Skaven have big monsters, the best guns in the game, the best mortars in the game. And also they gave them like wolf rats,
Starting point is 04:01:11 which are like these speedy little units you can send out to like chase things off the battlefield. Is there a reason for dwarves now? Dwarves were always just like one-dimensional. That's their thing. Like they're the easiest thing to play because dimension is defensive yeah it's super high armor super high leadership so they don't quit fighting they don't die easily they just stand there and take a beating for a long time for a for a cheap amount of gold but um you know they they're they're pretty easily
Starting point is 04:01:41 countered if you if you know fight against dwarf box, then you defeat the dwarf box. Yeah. I mean, you can beat a dwarf box. Like, I remember I played the Wild Men, no, the Beast Men, a good bit. Or no, what was it? The Chaos Warriors. That's the one. And they had, like, them and the Beast Men had this cheap-ass
Starting point is 04:02:00 unit that was shitty at everything, but they had armor piercing, and so all you would need to do if you're up against dwarves was like make like a little like four string of those guys and they would do a tremendous amount of damage on their own and then you could just follow up or just flank them with uh spider riders and shit like that chariots chariots are the downfall of the dwarves every time chariots and uh really any any like long-range armor piercing. I guess the only anti-large is a couple of artillery things and then the
Starting point is 04:02:30 addicts or whatever. Oh, the slayers. Slayers, yeah. They're anti-large. Yeah, slayers and dragonback slayers. I like playing doors, but you don't get better playing the doors, so I try not to. Yeah, I just pick the factions that I think are the coolest looking. The one I played the most by far was lizard men because i liked
Starting point is 04:02:49 the way their characters looked the most that's the best beginner play thing to thing to start with um you'll actually learn how to play and they're very well balanced and kind of straightforward i don't know there's some vampires the only shitty part well about lizard men the only part i hated was their stupid frenzy thing where you just can't control a battalion anymore because they get a certain level of leadership lost but uh the vampires is fun the uh uh the pharaohs or whatever that is the tomb kings they're really fun and uh the beast men are pretty awesome beast men are the worst factionists they're the oldest one and the they're the one awesome. Beastmen are the worst factionists. They're the oldest one, and they're the one that's been in there the longest without an update.
Starting point is 04:03:30 So they've fallen way behind everything else. All the other races have gotten these updates with better units and better magic and stuff. Well, when I'm saying best, I just mean I'll look through the options, and I'll pick whatever the coolest ones are and try and use them try and yeah it's a bunch of minotaurs and cow men who just like run ape shit into the enemy with like double axes and crazy stuff like that's why the lizard men are so sick they're mounted units are just are just centagores like they're just four-legged men like there's not a
Starting point is 04:03:59 guy on a horse like their cavalry is just some like four-legged horsemen yeah pretty much all right that's enough nerd shit yep blame truth tell the people where they can go to find all your wonderful content youtube.com slash blame truth channel's popping off right now get on the get on the wagon the cod father the cod like that i like that all right any outros no sir aka 522

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