Painkiller Already - PKA 523 w SlushPuppy - Kyle's Movie Role, Fetlife, Hot or Not

Episode Date: December 30, 2020

Painkiller episode. Fuck. I'm gonna start over. No, no, no, keep going, keep going. Painkiller already, episode 523 with our guest Slush Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by ExpressVPN

and Postmates. Slush, thank you so much for coming on. You would think this was episode, what, two? A couple hundred more tries and I'll get this. Yeah. That's what happens when you're a Z-grade internet celebrity, man. You need a hundred types to tag everything.

Yeah. Oh, I know that for sure. I was grade Z at my peak. Like grade Z. So you're... I went over. But yeah, so you're, I went over to your Twitch channel and you're one of these guys who's streaming 10,

11, 12 hours a day, all Tarkov and all rust, right? Mostly, mostly Tarkov. I did. I,

I sort of burned myself out on Tarkov and then I go and play something else for like a week. And then I just go back to Tarkov for like two months. So it's sort of back and forth. It depends on what I'm feeling most days. But it's, I sort of pick something and then I just get ultra focused on it and then just play it for like days on end. And then my wife's like, can you come out of your room and shower?

You smell like shit. You're the reigning world champion in Tarkov? That's kind of cool. Really? Yeah. Lead with that yeah lead with that well i think it got overshadowed though because we like we won twitch rivals and then uh and then punisher was straight after that and we got fucking flogged so that's not an official event it's this one world champion it's not twitch sanctioned yeah the uh yeah we we won like by a fucking bee's dick like right at the end uh pulled it out so it's like it was it was a huge thing i was very proud of it actually but uh that's great man so you this was the team

related thing you guys were talking about explaining to me right not a one-on-one tournament yeah yeah oh you said you guys yeah yeah so this is the remember i talked about a little bit we were filming pkn as it happened and uh you he was on he's on the same team as pastille or pestily anyway i guess all right i'll just say it. It kind of seemed like Landmark was the new, like, talent in town, right? And he had won Pestily's Punisher thing. And I don't know if he had entered Twitch Rivals before. Maybe he had. They came second the last time. Okay.

Yeah, they sort of got, like, right right at the end got pipped at the post kind of seemed like the torch had been passed a little bit maybe i'm the only one who sees it this way but i was like yeah forever like pestley was sort of thought of as the best player on earth and then while he didn't beat him in competition he won the punisher tournament and it seemed like landmark was the best player on earth and then then I'm watching this thing like a sporting event, and I'm like, what? Pestily's team is in the lead. Is it possible?

Could he still be? Does he still have it? And then Landmark pulled out ahead, and it was like, right, right. We all knew it. Water finds its level. The guy is amazing, and he still is amazing and then uh to just go in neck and neck neck and neck but with landmark ahead if i recall the entire

time until yeah pretty much yeah oh no we we went out really early and we were in the lead like the first hour like really really comfortable the first hour and then we just kept falling over on uh killing glue half for one of the tasks and then and that's what i feel your pain it was mainly it was mainly me i kept dying i was fucking skitzing out like punching my desk how big are the teams how many people were on your team with three people yeah me and uh pest and red ops as well were you a ringer brought in to truly dominate to truly no no so pest was uh pest didn't know which one he was gonna be in because they wanted him to cast i think and then he was like oh i'll go in and out and then he messaged

me and he's like oh do you want to do you want to make a team i'm like yeah he's like do you want to go all australian then do you want to you want to invite someone you find someone who's good and i was like well i play with red all the time we've got good synergy he's a really good player just uh get up red up some will go yeah team xenophobe yeah exactly no one else to finish casual racism yeah it's more acceptable there here you've been yeah exactly yeah so they got an early lead they fell behind every time i looked they were behind but close and then in the last second or slush would say by a bee's dick they uh passed him at the finish line it was neat to see it was super cool so are you into uh rust now is your new game or that's just your that's your treat

of the game to give yourself a break from grinding it was sort of weird i had um so i just wanted contract with switch so i just went uh like permanent with switch for two years so i was sort of working while i was working that out they're like oh yeah we're just like push it backwards and forwards and do all the signing and stuff, yeah, we'll just push it backwards and forwards and do all the signing and stuff like that, but we'll backdate it. And I was like, oh, cool, I don't really have to worry too much about streaming the same game all the time. It's sort of guaranteed income.

So I was like, you know what, fuck it, I'm just going to go and play Rust for 18 hours a day and fuck around on that. And so I just sort of treated myself to that. and fuck around on that. And so I just sort of treated myself to that. And then sort of, I was like, I felt like I was playing WoW again when I was 16. Like I was like- Just getting to enjoy it.

Yeah. Cheesel covered desk with like 35 empty beer cans next to me. This is not how a 31 year old man should live. You're just blackout drunk playing WoW. Did you have any issues with stream snipers playing Rust? Oh, fucking constantly. It was endless. That's the problem with Rust and streaming.

I don't know how people do it. I know Waylon streams a lot. I know there's a few guys who do it, but I don't know how you do it because it doesn't matter if they're any good or not. Someone can be absolute trash at the game. They can just buy it to troll you, and they can effectively troll you

if they can just get a double barrel and just go outside your base or just scream at you constantly in voice chat. Then you've got to turn voice chat off or just type something awful in the text chat. Well, now you've got to turn text chat off, and after a while, you've turned so much shit off that like you're barely it's not the game anymore alone on an island the chat off and stuff like that and we tried to keep the server that we were going on private and

every time we played we changed to different servers uh like we'd start a wipe and we'd go on a different server and try to cover your map and stuff like that because it's like it's Randomly seated so people can tell from the map overlay Yeah, then even then you still get people but I think someone like Waylon like because he's so big he probably just goes I'm a plan this server I'm friends with the mod if someone pisses me off. I just measured them in order van them. So yeah He just they someone someone does it they just hit them banned instantly I think is that would be the way to do it people ever stream snipe benevolently where they'll show up and

be like hey here's a bunch of extra gold just wanted to say hi and then they leave that's how it always starts so you're like they'll show up and they go they go oh yeah we'll give it's like this there's a couple of different types of stream snipers there's the ones that will just come there and kill you they're like they just hate you and just have always wanted to kill you they they would uh probably try to fight you in the street if they weren't and so they're just but they uh they just come and try to kill you and they get sick of it after a little while then there's the benevolent ones and they come in and they try and give you free shit and then you go go away i don't want it and then they keep trying and they keep trying and then eventually they turn against you and then it's in their head now okay and then

they go for like no one else straight because they're like oh so nice to this guy what does he hate me and it's like kind of i just want to play a fucking game just piss off yeah i don't want free shit like just say yes just say oh i'm gonna go put this this is gonna go into in my collector's space back in my base and then yeah they'll think they'll be happy you'll be happy yeah you just don't even want the interaction though like i just want to when i'm playing rust i just want to like be doing my own thing like we're playing with a big team right now um but like i don't want someone else who's not like on our team to be coming and bringing me stuff You know

I just want like my team to kind of synergize and work together and like you try to do as well as we can in The server we're having a great fucking time. Are you commanding your team? You kind of commanded in vermintide you would You would determine like when it was time for the group to move and when not and you kept on top of things Yeah in vermintide I feel like and in games like that in general, like, whoever's got the most experience or whoever knows what needs to be done needs to be just telling people, because, like, as long as

you're not pissing everybody off, like, nobody wants to be, like, yelled at or anything. But I haven't... So we've been on two different servers. The issue was we didn't start on Thursday wipe. Thursday's, like, the traditional wipe cycle when you start new. So we played this Saturday wipe wipe and it was trash because we picked a bad server And then I think right now we're playing on like a Tuesday white so it just started

Yesterday it may have been a like early Monday morning Tuesday wife, but anyway, we're doing really well I think it's 2x gather rate and Other than that there aren't any crazy mods or anything like that and we're killing it right now i haven't it varies like like anywhere from like i think there's four guys in there playing right now but um sometimes there'll be as many as like eight or ten what makes the server trash you said the first one you was it the like connectivity issues or like in-game issues it's in-game it. It's like, so there's a lot of, it could be the gather rate. Sometimes, so if you hit a tree,

how much wood comes back to you matters. In vanilla, I don't know what it is. It's like 10 wood or maybe 8 wood for the first hit. And it stacks up. It can be painfully slow. Painfully slow. Because you need like 1 a thousand wood just to make a tool cover especially if you're not gonna know life it like if you want to play 18 hours a

day of nil is fine but yeah but then there's like 2x service where you get twice as much as normal of everything whenever you hit a rock or a sulfur node or whatever and but then there are like 10x and 100x and literally 1 million x for people who don't even give a shit about the grind they just want to get right into gunfights and that's not me like I'm not I'm going to have a hard time out shooting people but they're going to have a hard time out

grinding me so I'm trying to grind to the point where I've got a semi-automatic rifle and they've still got a double barrel so that I can make my advantage my work ethic plus it's nice to war of attrition just I've got a semi-automatic rifle and they've still got a double barrel so that I can make my advantage, my work ethic. Plus, it's nice to... You're always waging a war of attrition. Just, I've got nothing but time.

That's how I play the game. And I've grown fond of games recently where losing matters and winning matters. You know, in COD, if you win or lose, I guess it impacts your stats by a decimal every once in a while. if you win or lose but i guess it impacts your stats by a decimal every once in a while in rust when you get raided or even if you lose all the stuff on your body it can suck a lot it can suck more than you can understand so bad it's it's like especially if you get offline road and you log in just now you get on a page and you're like oh for fuck's sake we fucked some people over so hard last night it was one of the fun it was the most fun i'd had in rust in a long ass time like um

i know that you two don't know a ton about rust but so essentially uh there's this attack helicopter that comes onto the map like every half hour hour depending on the server and you have to shoot it down but it's shooting back at you and it'll kill you really quickly so it's kind of difficult to take down if you're not good or if you don't have a team working to shoot it down, but it's shooting back at you and it'll kill you really quickly. So it's kind of difficult to take down if you're not good, or if you don't have a team working to take it down when it crashes, it hits the ground and it drops three or four crates, a very high end loot, like the highest tier loot in the game. It could be AK 47s or rockets or C4, the most difficult things to find, but the crates are on fire for 10 minutes so you have to like and this is a very loud thing audio in rust is like map wide like you set off a c4 charge and they hear it a mile away

they bag you out in the global chat as well like if you can't get it down they're like oh there's a five man and they're losing to the chopper what a bunch of losers exactly and then they mark it on the map even and everybody has the map you press gc the map they put a little thing on the map like oh helicopter went down right fucking here so me and like two or three guys are out roaming around like we've got top tier gear on and some people start taking the chopper and they take it down right next to a safe zone at the outpost which is a really weird precarious thing to do because if they get into a fight if they do anything aggressive toward another player the outpost will murder them with these automated guns so but so they can't defend themselves and but in their heads they're thinking well no one

can attack us either but we just get out of the range of the outpost so we're just standing there looking at them standing over all this loot that's on fire and they're waiting on it to go out. And there's four of us. So three of us just open fire on them from range and kill them all. And the fourth runs in because he has not aggroed the outpost and it's automated guns and he takes all the fucking loot. And we just took like, I don't know, like four AK 47s and LR, a bunch of rockets and C4. It was hilarious. They had to be so upset. It was one of the most... I'd have quit if that had happened to me. That would have been so goddamn upsetting.

Yeah, that opera mode on the other side thing. It was a lot of fun. I'm going to get back on tonight and grind some more. I'm playing with the $50 patrons. I know a couple people joined the $50 patron just to play Rust with us, so I'm trying to spend as much time in there as I can.

So it's been a lot of fucking fun. I haven't played Rust seriously in about five, six months because it is addictive and not very healthy, but I'm getting back into it now, definitely. So we're going to grind all night tonight, and then Thursday, which I think is Christmas, will be a fresh white. We're getting right,

like, like we're getting right back into it. Cause a lot of, a lot of the guys are quarantined. Um, two of the guys in the, in the patron have, uh,

COVID. So they're like legitimately quarantined. Less social distancing is all the bias. Yeah. So we're going to hit it hard again on thursday but we're gonna finish this little wipe cycle out till then having a great time nice slush i don't know how much you can share but you said you got a twitch contract how do they work like it uh you still get donations are still to you right yeah so paypal donations still go to me. And subscriptions? So it works.

It's like a minimum guarantee. So there's NDAs around like a lot of the stuff, but from public knowledge of what I've heard other people talk about before, I can say that it's like you get an amount every month and they say, okay, we're going to pay you this per month and it's guaranteed to be this no matter how many subs bits whatever you get ad revenue um and to get that you have to run four ads uh sorry uh four minutes of ads per hour so they essentially trade you at what is i'm assuming they get they make massive cpm off the ads because otherwise they wouldn't be trading that

for this guaranteed income. And they'll just say, okay, you run this many, or you can choose to run different amounts of ads. So the people that I've spoken to, different people have different amount of ads for different amounts of money and stuff. And so they basically, you run the ads and then you get paid.

So Twitch sees how many bits and subscriptions you have do they generally make the contract comparable just guaranteed or is it a raise i i i calculated it out and it it seemed to be pretty much exactly bang on the fucking scent to what i would earn anyway but guaranteed yeah so it's like it's like the pretty much okay you're going to keep earning the same amount uh no matter what the next two years uh with like a rolling one year renewal uh with like you renegotiate at the end of two years um if you grow if you if you earn more from like bits and subs and ad revenue then you get that on top of that but if you grow if you if you earn more from like bits and subs and ad revenue then you get that on top of that but if you go under you just get that so oh so they just set a floor it's not your

it's not ah that's better yeah yeah okay it's like i think it's just more like the security of it like i didn't really even it's not it's not right it's like it's i don't i don't even really care about it that much money-wise. It's just like I can have a week off and it doesn't matter. If I have a week off the next month, I'm like, ah, I'm a bit poor this week. A week off is a quarter of my month's pay. Right.

Well, Twitch partner program, if you're listening, I'm willing to play 57 minutes of ads per hour. Scratch that, 58. With the new stuff that they've added, they have the pre-rolls and shit like that. So you've got like, if you run, I think it's like two minutes per half an hour it'll block pre-rolls for half an hour and so i was already doing it because the pre-rolls were like people

were coming in and they're like fucking pre-roll ads and they're running random ads throughout the stream as well that i wasn't controlling so i was like all right every half an hour i'm just gonna get up take a piss just go out and i talk shit to my wife and for two minutes while i'm loading into a game and just do nothing and just run these ads you're not missing anything yeah like oh that's a great idea i just sit there and pick my nose like i just i didn't think of that i just get yelled at by my chat for the ads i'm not in control of that's not a good way to do it i look at it through the, so when you run the first one,

like the first two minute one, it'll say like, there's a counter and it'll say pre-roll on and you just wait until that gets to zero or it's like a minute off getting to zero and you go, okay, it's been half an hour. I'm gonna run two minutes of ads and go and beat off or whatever.

And then you just fucking walk out of the room. So you beat off in two minutes? Yeah, if he's trying to get back to streaming that's more impressive than your ad strategy when you stream 12 hours a day man you got to be very efficient at everything like that man on your dashboard like and begin you just that's a that's a pro skill when you're a streamer especially a taco streamer you hit load on the raid and you go and uh you take out your phone and you're watching your own stream on your phone and you're taking a shit and then you get the the 20 second deploy timer then you wipe your ass in 20 seconds and you're back on the

i'm back i tell my chat like not to make any loud noises and to kill anyone they see i come back it's all capitals letters people just screaming to get me found it's a joke but yeah yeah yeah i people were like giving me trouble this was a long time ago being like add more rewards for channel points you can even add one that's like run an ad and i'm like oh people will pay their channel points to run an ad to make me money i was like that seems neat but i should have known like there's a reason they wanted to do that and i i what I thought was reasonable and immediately it was like six hours in queue of ads because everybody and people were frustrated

obviously and I was like I had to go. God, I wonder how much money it would have been. Obviously nothing after it ran for the first four hours and nobody was watching any. CPM times zero, nothing. I don't think you can even run that many so it's like i think you can only run a certain amount i think there's like an eight minute gap or something

in between how many you can run so like i will to put a like this is the most well-known secret of all time but during uh twitch drops but tarkov i streamed for 28 hours with 140 000 viewers and i i literally sodomized the ad button like that that thing was begging for mercy by the time i was done and i was just saying to people in chat look you're farming me for free for twitch drops i'm gonna farm you for fucking ad revenue all right i don't care dude that's a lot did you say 120,000 viewers? It was 140. It was a lot. So is an ad worth like $2,800-ish? Am I even close? Maybe don't say.

Don't say. But good God, I hope that you bought a house that day. That's why I'm sitting in now. It was a lot. It was not an insurmountable amount of money. It was, like, after it happened and I got paid, my wife and I had been saving for a house for a little while, and I literally looked at the Twitch revenue thing.

The ad revenue goes on, like, two days later, and I was like, done, we're moving. And then just moved house. And we brought a house. That's awesome, man. Dude, I'm so happy. I I did that but it was a dancing competition yeah yeah yeah and heaps of people were like uh that that didn't get that as well like there's like even smaller streamers uh some of them that have like like we're running like 100

100 viewers we're running like 30 hundred a hundred viewers we're running like 30 000 viewers and that's still a fuckload of money like if you stream for 20 you're straight for 25 hours and run that many ads hey so much fucking money it's that's it's it's ah that's that's really cool i'm happy that you got that that's yeah that's great i'm glad you bought a house instead of like a $4,000 pair of jeans and an Italian sports car. I already have a Mercedes, so I don't need it. I thought you were about to be bragging about expensive jeans. You already got me expensive jeans. I've been saving for ages when i first started streaming because i

always wanted one of those c-class mercedes so i had shit loads of money put away for it and then my car lease ran out of my other car and i went and traded it in i was like hang on like i've got a lease on this fucking shitty truck and i'd finish paying it and then this guy's like well if you trade in the truck and then you just lease the rest of the cost of of this mercedes it'll cost you the same as the lease for the truck was. And I'm like, why aren't I driving a Mercedes? Like it was the same fucking cost. I was already paying that.

So I went and brought one. I was like, yeah. I only processed about half of that in real time. But if it came from a car salesman, I don't trust it. Yeah, no. It wasn't a hundred percent right it was a little bit more expensive but it wasn't it wasn't like uh it wasn't fuck lights more expensive it was like it ended up being like 100 bucks a month more expensive or something because i had money to put towards it and stuff like that don't let my manager hear about this deal i could lose my job

the wheels if not thanks for sticking your neck out for me. She said the guy that I took him for a test drive and the guy that was the owner, he's like, oh, we don't actually have any of those in stock. We'll have to send one from Germany or whatever. But I drive one and I'm like, can I take yours for a test drive? And this cunt was shitting himself in the passenger seat. I just fucking flogged the shit out of his car.

Power sliding around corners at like 80 miles an hour and this guy's like, fucking hell, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean, I wouldn't be pleased if I was him. Yeah, he had like a baby seat in the back and shit. Then that's his loss. What an idiot. Yeah, exactly. How long baby seat in the back and shit. And then that's his loss. What an idiot. Yeah, exactly.

How long have you been streaming full time? It'll be two years in January. It will be. Although I sort of like when I went full time, I had two months of, I don't know if Americans get this, but we get something called long service leave in Australia. So if you work at a job or most jobs, you work there for 10 years and then they give you free three months of paid leave and you can take it at like a week at a time or like three months at a time and so I got to December uh

two years ago and I was like I'm gonna take two months off and then I took two months off and then like probably like the 15th of January I just caught caught up like i think i think like tarkov just started to explode shroud was playing it i got hosted by shroud i had like fucking thousands of subs and i called them up and i'm like yeah i'm not coming back and i was like oh okay all right what were you doing before you started streaming full-time uh did uh software engineering so i worked for the federal government i did well i did data analytics stuff similar to what you do what do you what you did i think uh so i built cisco you know the networking company i'm sure you do oh yeah no that's right i did all their e-commerce well not all i didn't single-handedly do it but i i worked on their

e-commerce stuff online or for that's where the the money came in from and order status and whatever uh so what did you do like big data type stuff you know yeah for the government so i worked for uh i worked for a few different programs and stuff like that around the place but it was essentially like big data analytics and like data visualization so they take like billions of records and then do data analytics on them and then uh basically present them as a green or a red light for some moron with eight iq and a fucking seven figure paycheck to go oh it's all good i have two friends that do that and you got paid oh i don't want to dox them but they do so well i well it's it's like yeah it's they just like the the government in australia just doesn't value like any

it skills so they're like i can't i couldn't move past that point unless i wanted to be a manager just flicking emails backwards and forth and i didn't want to do that i enjoyed the actual coding so i was just sort of at a point where i was like i wasn't stuck like it was only good money i was doing like 100 grand a year but it was like i was just sort of like that's it and it's like i'm gonna do better than this like i know i can do better i want to i i can spend my time i was just bored because it was easy like what text did you use what'd you code in uh so we did a lot of sass uh teradata uh like teradata sql um and then the visualization stuff i did with javascript in d3 because it was sort of made stuff like fancy little bubbles you can click on and stuff like and this was two years ago

uh yeah two years ago would have been the last time I coded. Yeah. I haven't coded in ages, yeah. I haven't coded in more ages, but yeah. Yeah. You must have done that for 10 years in order to leave? Well, I was like, I started out there as data entry, and then I sort of just one day was talking to a guy about coding,

and then I was like, oh, I can code a little bit. And he's like, oh, come and work for us then and then i moved like so i was like i think it was like 20 different jobs just inside the federal government but just moving around different teams pretty much does your tech background help you now at all sorry i thought that i didn't uh there was more yeah no right some of it the audio visual stuff is just like fuck like i don't know like i hate audio audio can lick my nuts can i interrupt with a little audio story so uh you were there the other night there was a buzz especially when i was talking so there was a noise gate on obs which made it only buzz when i talked but the buzz was there all the time. It was just getting cut off when I was being

silent. Cool. I think the buzz is electrical interference on my new computer. I don't know why there's more electrical interference than there used to be. It doesn't make any sense to me. The chat says I have to buy a ground loop isolator, which instantly made sense to me because Willers needed that and that solved his problem. So I was like, all right. On Amazon, I instantly order it. The next day I go out and I go to a guitar, two different guitar stores and a Best Buy and I can't find one in real life. So I'm stuck. What I do is I grab this USB mic that I have as like a travel mic for, on rare occasions, I do PKI on the road, and I have this mic. It's USB. It's not buzzing.

Cool. But I like my other mic more. The ground loop isolator comes in. It got worse somehow. I haven't solved the problem. That's why I'm still on this mic. I think it's okay. But audio can lick my nuts, too.

That's where all that is headed. Yeah. And people think, because, like, you used to code in Java. Why can't you fix your mic it's not a relevant skill set it's not a matter of times that i've had my mom just be like can you fix my laptop i'm just giving up i'm just like no buy a new one i'm not coming here to fix you like your seven-year-old chromebook it's like it's like the hard drives fucking fried and it's the like the hard drives fucking

fried in it they got some printer from the attic with like a parallel port adapter in the back and you're like what is this piece of history yeah it's always the same when you work in computers people just think you're like you you know some kind of magic but it's it's really not that hard it's just that no one ever bothers to learn it because like i did this like all the time i was working there i'd be like oh you can do this uh and do this and do this and then be like so you know how to do it and then they're just like with some old fucking like 50 year old woman some linda that's just like oh that's all right next time i'll just ask you and it's like now you're fucking one block of phone number computer programming

isn't what people think it is like what people think computer programming is like swordfish i've seen matrix is is taking like you know something that they want built and like changing that into code like it it's a different language. What computer programming actually is like the hard part of it is answering all the questions that weren't given to you, right? Using your own either subject matter expertise or just intuition because they say, all right, you know, I want an order status screen. You know what that looks like. You've all seen them before. There's a million unanswered questions in every coding project that that you're answering yourself and that's what computer programming really is according to me but they don't really like people don't really think about the complications of like what they're asking for most of the time so

it's like it's like if you ask someone can you can you build me uh can you build me a an animal that that can eat grass and survive and it's like okay well does it have blood like what has an oxygenate like does it breathe oxygen what is what enzymes does it get from the ground like there's a trillion questions that go along with that and you don't get that with like right program they're just like you're a wizard i just make it like i could tell you it has hooves and you're like, ah, so just one hoof, like a horse. So does it have like two toes on it? So what's in the middle of it?

How does that transition from the leg to the hoof work? Like there's a, there's so many unanswered questions in every business spec that that's what coding really is. Answering all those questions and thinking of all the corner cases. And they, yeah. Dealing with the trillions

of edge cases that dumbass motherfuckers are gonna plow into it to destroy it and it's like i didn't i didn't count for this one edge case because it's just like so infinitesimally rare that some idiot's going to do this and then somebody does it the first 10 seconds yeah oh and then did you have much like uh public facing stuff with security issues no all of mine was internal so i i sort of got lucky i don't know much about security like i've got friends that i've talked to about it before but i'll be honest like very very little security stuff is yeah so so most of my stuff was public facing and my god like the the tricks that people can put it heaven forbid i take text from you and put it back on the like to show you what you wrote

that is so much harder than it sounds right because all of a sudden the text you're giving me is like javascript that opens json connections it's reading from my database and it's like what the wait a minute so i have to sanitize everything you write. So you can't put pictures of Barney on my website that I didn't want. And yeah, it's anyway, public facing stuff. I understood anything. I don't know if this is good content, but. There's like, there's like nine guys out there like, yes.

Okay. I'll change it. Oh my God. Listen to this'll trade you. Thank you. Oh my God. I've been listening to this podcast for 10 years. Finally. This is good. Patel, get in here.

You got to hear this podcast. Okay, we'll stop. We'll stop. He is totally right about the security requests. They are totally unreasonable a high percentage of the time. When I was working with the government, I was like, I found like, fucking, well, I won't say it, but I found flaws in their system and I was like, yeah, you need to fix this, this is like, this is bad.

And they're just like, eh, I don't care. Like, eh, fuck it. It's like,'s so good does australia have nukes uh i don't know i don't think we do we i think we got some of yours parked here maybe that's it what does that matter though that all the nukes are powered by like fucking nine volt batteries and some motherfucker with a button out they like they really i don't know how nukes work that's how i think computer programming works is some guy can go to a library somewhere in melbourne and then they're like i'm into the mainframe of the australian nuclear codes oh fuck they don't have bombs damn we should have looked into this for you to choose australia as our strike point they did not have all the uh american ones were like

minute man ones that are like running on like fucking wooden cogs and shit it's like really outdated safety systems and shit that's like ultra dangerous and no it's the russians that have the super outdated stuff because at least like every 25 30 years we're like all right we might need to do something about that coal-powered nuclear weapon we've got in Nebraska. It's just not getting, it's not up to snuff anymore, but the Russians are just like, coal is good.

This one, you take Trent Monkey, and he just used the pebbles. I don't know what to think of America's nuclear arsenal, because nuclear arsenal sometimes i'm like like you like oh it's coal powered it's out of date it's from the 80s etc another part of me is like i don't know we spent a trillion dollars a year on something for all i know we've updated the entire thing and kept it as some sort of secret i think we have a trillion dollars isn't

really that much though once you blow it out in bureaucracy once it gets wasted on like fucking 10 million pricks sending emails to each other then it's like okay it's all gone we've done 60 safety case studies into it we've had fucking roger who charged us fucking 1.5 million dollars a day

to go and have a look at it we know the problem it's fucked I tell why and we'd have any money to fix it hey yes so and so you know uncle is a chairman at Raytheon so we're gonna use them even though they're twice as expensive for the Humvee doors that are gonna end up not working right and so they'll sit in a pile somewhere in Iraq just some nonsense like that yeah like last door shields when you guys re-invade again eventually we're going back

to Iraq? the enemies will be coming through the door with their fucking humvee door shields like a riot shield that you guys left over there I feel like invading Iraq should just become an American tradition, right? Like every 10 or 15 years. Every Christmas.

That'd be a great publicity stunt. We're bringing the troops home for Thanksgiving and just bring them home from Iraq every year. On 4th of July, we make a big show of it we invade them again pull back out on christmas time everybody's happy like you get that big patriotic hoorah you know charge in guns blazing thing in july christmas time comes around trips back home with their family i can see it in taylor's eyes he's trying to do an Iraqi impression of the reaction to being invaded annually. What would it be? I was thinking like, damn, if we did that, it unironically would reduce our time at war by half.

You'd like guarantee six months not at war every year. And then like by March, Lindsey Graham would be like, they're acting up again over there. They're mad men. I'm just not paying for it because nobody has any compromising videos of me at all. Don't ask questions about it. I'm just a southern religious single 61-year-old

man with no children. And definitely no boyfriends. Definitely no boyfriends. I'm sure of it. No, we need to do war. I was at that club for the same reason that the Lord washed that prostitute's feet. You know, you go to those, you need to get them out.

Everybody complains about war. Through the hole in the bathroom. You ask. But that's how we learn geography? Where is this headed? First of all, yes, that is how we learn geography. Like, I didn't know where a lot of that stuff was until we started i hadn't heard of half the stands half the i didn't know all the stands

i don't know like yeah that's right i didn't go to the same schools as you guys they'd never know no believe me like there was a lot more agriculture going on at my school than there was fucking geography but like i know how to inseminate a cow uh but i don't know how to uh find my way to afghanistan but no i you know i i think that uh it's good that we look it was super entertaining right like remember like when we were first going to into afghanistan and we got all the ac-130 footage and uh all that black and white shit that looked like it was out of call of duty modern warfare like that was badass and then i'm airing it on cbc and and like i didn't like the first iraq war or the excuse me the second iraq war that there's been a few now um but it was pretty cool that we just stormed in there and took the leader of a gigantic country

hostage and then hung him right like that was pretty nuts did the americans hang him in the end i thought they sort of like got to the the sort of break point of the city and then everyone was just like okay they're coming for this guy let's just fucking string him up and i think we had a lot to do there was a trial we we captured him and then we we talked to our iraqi, we think you should have a trial for this guy. And they were like, guilty or not? Oh, guilty. Okay. And how should we kill him, overlords?

And they were like, I'm hanging on to it. And they're like, sure, we've got plenty of rope that we can do. And they just hung him for us. And they're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right. We don't care what you use. Just make cunts with iPhones there. Yeah. Do you remember the footage of his sons? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right. We don't care what you use to do it. Just, Ned cunts with iPhones there.

Yeah. Do you remember the footage of his sons? Like, the pictures of his sons after we killed them, how gory it was? Uday and Kuse, I think. Uday and Kuse. Kuse. I remember seeing the footage of his, I remember seeing the footage of Sadami Sane being hung on the internet when I was, like, fairly young, and I think it was, like, the first sort of footage I'd ever seen on the internet of I was like fairly young. And I think it was like the first sort of footage I'd ever seen on the

internet of someone dying. And I was like, this is sort of, it's sort of weird. And then, and then it was just like, and then I just, the internet.

Now I'm just a fucking desensitized piece of shit. But yes, we all are. I feel that for sure. But I'd like to invade a country of white people. We haven't done that in so long. Like, like I want to like, I don't people. We haven't done that in so long. Like, I want to, like, I don't know. Let's decide based on vacation spot. What would we like to be able to go, where would we like to be able to go without a passport?

You know, if we invade Scotland, we could do a lot of Bravehearts-related comedy. All families from there, come on, man. Sons of Scotland! No, your family might need a little more freedom. If you limit it to white people, I never need a little more freedom. Scotland, I would have picked someplace with a better climate, like the Cayman Islands. Do we need a passport now?

I don't know. Doesn't America just, like, American private citizens just own all of the Cayman Islands? Probably. Dominican Republic, I like it there. Let's invade Puerto Rico because we're that ignorant. If we're going to start a stupid war, let's start a really stupid

war. I'm on board. I like this idea. Both guys have heavy casualties. I swear I heard one of your politicians say that Puerto Rico was a part of America I was just like fuck them that American probably Donald Trump

Donald Trump complained about the president of Puerto Rico I remember that not realizing that I guess he thought Puerto Rico had someone called a president too but he is the president of Puerto Rico and it's funny it was like the governor or something like that it's not that I know anything about fucking rico but but i knew that it was a territory like i it seems like they're a big

drain on the economy though right like are they are they pulling their own are they pulling their weight i'm not sure what i'd like to know delicious soda and seen made in puerto rico is there a map of which states are pulling their weight yes yes there is a general rule of thumb there are exceptions the red states are takers and the blue states are givers like the the biggest givers are like new york and new jersey and i think california is one too this is we're comparing how much they pay in taxes like towards like they collect from that state to how much the federal government distributes. And like New York, New Jersey, and California pay a ton and don't get much back. And then you have states like...

That's probably because of the high population and like higher... That's where like the majority of the businesses are located. Yeah, it's their population and the income of the people. There's a lot of people in New York, California, New Jersey who make like seven digits, whereas in Kentucky, there are fewer. You know what would be a good country to conquer for vacation purposes? Maybe like Chile. It's super

long and thin. You get that whole giant coast, and I bet there's a ton of variation the whole way up and down. Nothing but beach. That would be a good idea of a country to conquer. You lost me at long and thin. Is there a country with more girth? Argentina. of a country to conquer you lost me at long and thin is there a country with more girth all right all right now you got me back you could take australia pretty easy because like as as far as i'm saying if we wanted australia

every australian prime minister has without question regardless of their opinion of american uh fucking president has fallen to the their knees so quickly in front of them that they've just shattered the floorboards like they are they will suck their cock instantly it doesn't matter who they are so i mean you can probably just say we want it and then they just give it to you does it work for tourists i like a cock sucking yeah i don't know a cock sucky hey Americans are coming here on waves how about look I like a good sequel you know in this modern era

I'm a big fan of sequels remakes Vietnam 2 ooh this time we're going to win. Yeah, yeah. As you were pitching the idea, I'm like, how do we leave England twice? Let's see where this goes. We can take the British Isles away.

Just see how they feel about that. I think we should take it. No. We don't want that. What are the islands of Southern America that they... I can't remember the name. Right? Falkland Islands or something? Yeah. Is that what are the islands of um of southern america that they i can't remember the right falkland islands or something yeah is that what you're thinking of yeah it's like the falklands from the uh the british and they just give them back to argentina and then just be like there you go boys and then well then the brits would come back and take them back

from argentina again with those fucking harriers that we gave them i don't think they would i think the only reason they did that was because margaret thatcher is a cunt and she's just like fuck you and then they're just like no fuck you and then it was just all because she's a bitch so that's really good there's like 400 people on the island and she like just the whole atlantic navy is just like they're trying to fight yeah i don't know i don't know where we should conquer i like the idea of a sequel vietnam probably has really cool vacation spots the shrimping alone vietnam's really beautiful actually like uh a lot of uh australians go to vietnam and southeast asia because it's super cheap after you guys ruined all their economies thanks yeah and uh so we uh we we go there for like i call like bali a suburb of darwin

like darwin's up top of australia you can fly to bali for cheaper than flying to the rest of australia from darwin and people just go there for weekends and it's like a 10 cent beer or whatever the beer is and you just get shit-faced and Do whatever you want to do do the uh, the native vietnamese or whoever tai taiwanese whoever's there Do they like it? Like are they pretty stoked on you guys there? I think they're called charlie's taylor They prefer gook I'm tired of you guys being so insensitive now we're gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna wake up in the morning and have it sweet and it's just like so much probably fucking collaborating with known racists

well at least there'll be an accurate headline in a while the media gets it right i was gonna be like well no that's kind of hot so um i think that like some of them are like hell yeah tourism dollars and then uh some of them are like okay australians are just coming here and getting shit face and just fucking breaking everything because like we like like 18 year olds go over there. They hire like those fucking scooters and shit and they literally just like get

shitfights and then just like fly through the streets and crash them into shit. Like that's like the wild west. So they're pretty not strict. It's not like because your stories about people going to Singapore and it's like you spit on the ground and you get caned. Yeah, don't go to Singapore. They got no chill.

Like Bali is like drugs are like execution like if you bring weed into bali that will shoot you like you hear about that girl that got two months in jail for violating covid in i think they came in islands yeah an island it's gonna be fine i'm not sure if that's how that works we were like we're like oh we got two and then it was like oh we got that licked all right let's just uh go back to normal yeah i'm on the bottom of the world like tasmania is like an island off australia like yeah i did want to go to amsterdam this year i was pretty shitty about that but i can't really complain that much because like people lose their jobs and shit

check out this A-frame they use in Malaysia for canings oh my god that's like sexual I have one of these but it's scary to see the mannequin tied to it what's that

hot pad thing it's for practice. This is for the caners to practice on before they turn them loose on real people. I think that it's a way to make sure that they're hitting on the ass, not the back or anything. And also, I bet

that lower flap is partially because they're like, oh, we're going to beat someone in public but we want to be modest about it. We don't want to see an ass cheek hanging out there. No balls. It has some sort of protection. Am I seeing it wrong?

It's framing the buttocks so that you're only striking the buttocks. But the thing with the red stripes, that's the ass. That's the target. So that's the target I'm that's the target i'm seeing through the hole it's not uh correct oh i yeah that that is like that is a bullseye i saw why is it striped i guess the target has stripes on its butt it's i think they're indicating that this

is where you want to not only hit but this is like how you want to lay the canings down in a horizontal pattern oh no it's no, it's not text. It's just, yeah. I would love to go to this training class. Do you think that one day they had a guy and they were like, okay, we're going to give him a caning. And then his lawyers like, his lawyers like argued. He's like, you can't give him a caning. My client has a bad back.

If you hit him in the lower spine and they're like, we will divide the device. Yeah. We are tanning your ass motherfucker the caning must go on with the center cut out this is happening whether you like it or not get ready oh i like it i get lengthwise up your ass just here are the canes. Oh, do you have to pick your own?

No, there are no good selections in this caning. They look brutal. Are they just like a bamboo whip? That fucking hurts so much. I like the idea that it's like a grandmother who sends you to find your own switch. All right, pick out your cane. And like Kyle said, there's no good choices. I remember having to pick out my own Switch

a handful of times off of Willow Tree. I would always try and find one that was about to die so it wouldn't get good whip. Early on, you make the mistake of I'm going to pick a really small one. No, this can just be rapid fire administration of slaps. I would never play that game. We played a different game.

It was called Catch Me If You Can, Motherfucker. I'm not going to take this whipping lying down or, or like, you're going to have to tackle me and whip my ass. That's how this is going to go down. But did it get worse? Did they not make you who, who can say if it got worse?

Because I never like just, all right, hit me. No, you gotta catch me first. Cause sometimes I get away and like you know tensions would just kind of relax that is like you can hide for long enough like nobody be mad at you or after a while like like sometimes the whippings were spur of the moment like one

time i shot the windshield out of my dad's truck and uh and he's i was i was four and uh and and he's coming for me you know so like uh like a pellet rifle and uh he was in it he was under the hood like working on it and uh i didn't shoot the windshield i shot the side window out of the passenger side and shatter it out and he like looks up from like working on that alternator or something it's just like what have you done and i'm just like oh and uh they had a him and my mom had a water bed and the water bed is in this like big wooden frame type thing to like you know that's how water beds work but like under and behind the headboard there's a crawl space plenty large enough for a four-year-old child to crawl into so i'm just that's my hidey hole i'm running and i'm like crawling in that thing and he's on the other end and i'm like a i'm like a

badger cornered in a hole and he's just like get out here he's like reaching in but i'm way too far back and i'm just like that that's it for drastic he's coming back exactly yeah yeah i wasn't coming not coming out you're screaming at me you have a belt i i love your your approach and tactic because i also noticed that like sometimes tensions would just subside like if you ran out into the woods if i like was going to get in trouble at 1 30 in the afternoon and i just hoofed it into the woods and just hung out there till like after dinner to the point that like my mom would be actually a little bit worried about me then i come back and it's fine you know i'm covered in

bug bites probably but it was worth it but you when you were saying you climbed in that tube it reminded me of something popped in my head of a story when i was at chucky cheese for a friend's birthday we were i don't know like five at the oldest, very young, probably younger, like three, four. And we're on that that slide and ball pit apparatus that they have at every Chuck E. Cheese because we're almost at the age where we can't even reach the games. Like we have to be held up there by our parents to play. And I remember this one kid that even at four, I was like, this kid's weird. Why is he hanging out with me and my cool friends? And we were crawling around all together. And then we went in a line to go down down we were waiting in line to slide down the slide into the ball pit and i other kid in front of me goes other kid in front of me goes i go and as

i'm like halfway down i hear like a eww from everybody else like up there and like you know how you come down and you could hear like hear little echoes and things of children's voices. And I heard like, Scott pooped. Oh, no. Scott pooped his pants. And the kid didn't want to like, he still wanted to go down the slide. And so he went down the slide and shit smeared the entire way down that bright yellow Chuck E. Cheese slide into the ball pit. And because it was a shit incident, it wasn't just onto the rubber mat that could be washed because he slide into the ball pit. And because it was a shit incident, it wasn't just onto the rubber mat that could be washed because he went into the ball pit.

Everybody had to get out for the remainder of the day because all the balls had to be sanitized and everything cleaned out. And this is 15 minutes into a party. How old was this kid? We were all maybe like four. Very little.

You know, the saddest thing is there's probably some 17 year old employee who's on on like shit cleanup duty that's the day you quit right somebody like that it had someone had vomited like no i remember even as a child i i thought the ball pit was gross. I was like, nah, I can't get in that ball pit. We used to have McDonald's in shitty neighborhoods and there'd just be no balls in there because people would just steal them. For what purpose do you steal two of those? I know, it's like, oh, we're going to have a ball pit at home.

It's like, eventually. Ball by ball. You slowly rob McDonald's around Australia so both of you ran from your parents when beatings were to be administered if it was a possible absolutely like sometimes I would be you know I'd be within

arm's reach and they'd snatch me up you know and they'd have you you know but but if I could if I could escape I absolutely would you know for sure and then with my mom certainly like we'd have a tussle she'd have to she'd have to because she's not stronger than me at almost any point in my life and so she's really gotta tackle me to get me down but most of the time i could like like run around and around a bed or like a tree table or, you know, something.

And I could, I could fend her off and keep her away. So she would get into like throwing things sometimes or whatever. How you would have done in my household, right? Like how that would. So first I was never outside when I got beat, like, people didn't know. That's evidence. But inside, you can't run. You're just going to run to some corner of the house, and eventually you're trapped there.

And now, beatings were always administered in a blind rage. So you didn't want to flare up this rage even higher. Blind rage. Yes. Beatings were ministered in a blind rage you're you're older you're older than yeah that's what he said the beatings were probably a little bit more severe dude yeah and and like i don't know like the blind rage beatings like if i ran to some other room and got like i did run at times like it but it would just be me like like picture a bed that's in the corner of a room cowering next to it in like a ball and and then she'd find that and beat it

these stories you tell about your your child abuse are always so upsetting for me. They're always so legitimately upsetting. I only laugh because I'm nervous. Literally describing years of child abuse that you sustained as a young man. I don't think running was a good move. I have to feel like I should. I'll tell you a story from when i was younger because standing standing and fighting definitely doesn't fucking work

my dad was pretty hard and he would he'd hit all the time and then i think he sort of got to the point where i was i'm a twin and so there was two of us and we were fucking terrible like we were absolute pricks when we were kids, and we would just beat the ever-living shit out of each other all the time because we were perfectly matched. It was like Goku and Vegeta throwing each other through walls, punching into the drywall and stuff like that. At one stage, my dad just got sick of bending down to hit us.

He'd just kick us, and then once we got old enough to be able to like to be able to actually like do damage he'd come in and just stop the fight but once we got too old for him to sort of like when we got to like 16 where he was we're old enough to do real damage to each other but he couldn't just hold us apart he'd just come in and end the fight with punches of his own it's like it was times when like I'd be wailing in my wailing on my brother and then my dad would come in and he'd just yeet my brother to the floor and then I just pushed my dad and then he just headbutt me in the face and it just flattened me this is this

is like some WWE shit like like like two wrestlers are going at it look at my nose, look how bent it is except for your damn nose oh and the Undertaker's here I took a swing at him first I deserved it I almost feel like the strategy is when your father arrives to slightly be losing roll your brother on top of you

no no no there needs to be some enemy of my enemy is my friend stuff that goes on where like you like you're like all right we're gonna pretend like we're fighting as soon as he walks in he's ours we're gonna kill dad we're gonna beat the shit out of dad you go low i'll go high coming in with a chair she's tired of it too we never had those plans though because it was always just like me and my brother getting a fight and then we just fire off over something and then it'd just be like us just waxing each other's faces just like throwing

punches and we're just like both of us have bleeding noses and split lips and we're like fucking we can't see shit we're just throwing as many punches as we can at each other as fast as we can and then dad comes in and he's just fucking bang and then it's just over what was it never really like making plans what was it like the first time that he decided he had to come in with a right hook of his own was that like i can imagine for a child's formative years being like i didn't know that was something he could do the first i still i still remember the first time because i was fighting my brother and then alex stopped and then dad pushed me and then i pushed him back and then he was like you're gonna have to be a lot fucking bigger than that to try

that on me and i was like come on then and then he just fucking flat me instantly he was just like one right hook and i was just like fucking dead so he. So he's like, maybe try to get him like five years, mate. Was there any post-fight care where it's like, I didn't want to have to do that? Or was it just like, clean this stuff up? He was like, I told you. I told you what you did, and you fucking did it. And I was like, well, yeah. And he's like, you learned, didn't you?

And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, now fuck off. He's really into it. But you didn't you and i'm like yeah now fuck off she's really into it but you didn't learn did you oh yeah no it took a few more lessons didn't it it took it not like a million lessons but it was always when my brother and i went way over the top like we were like fucking each other up we fought shit loads when we were younger and we'd like beat the shit out of each other and then he'd come in and break it up what's your relationship with with him now like your brother we're pretty close like yeah once we grew up we were just fine like okay we just yeah it just ended up being fine like we i think once we both started smoking a

heap of weed then we sort of calmed down a little bit. More fist fights. See, Woody made it sound like there's nowhere to run to in the house, but sometimes I would run to my bedroom, lock the door, and then jump out the window. That's a good move. So even the door is just to slow him down. It's not going to stop him. This is an interior door all right he's coming through

yeah he's put his man right through that yeah um but i'm out the wind it's gonna slow him down enough that the window's up and i'm out i dove i just dove headfirst out the window like i was in a fucking so this is a first floor bedroom yeah first floor yeah first floor not second floor for sure so like i can swing right out of that thing and i'm gone and you know like i got atvs and stuff like i can i can be gone i'm like a fucking dukes of hazard getaway if i did that was really it's unusual like punishment though like fitting of the crime so like he i remember one time me and my brother were arguing and i slammed the door at like 3 a.m we're playing xbox on like wednesday and we and I slammed the door at like 3am. We were playing Xbox on like Wednesday and we slammed the door at like 3am and woke up. And we came home from school the next day and we lived in like a, it was like a two-story house.

So you had like mom and dad were upstairs and like lounge room and the dining room stuff. And then there was a doorway at the top of the, at the stairs that had like a lock on it. And then down the bottom of, down the bottom of the house was mine and my brother's bedroom and then an outdoor so like he could go outside and he'd taken all the doors off the house on the bottom floor he's just like can't slam doors anymore because you don't fucking have any that was and so we just like for a week we just like the elements of tasmanian winter just like sleeping through them and he's like you ever slammed the door yet he took off the door from the outside so it's just he took all the doors off the bottom floor of the house and when he left for work he's a carpenter he just took all of them to work and then just left

and he's like i'm gonna spend enormous amounts of money and heating bills to teach you a lesson oh no no he just he just closed the door upstairs and just turned the heating heat pump on upstairs and then just took the remote for the one downstairs he's like fuck you he doesn't care yeah or if like it or if he'd like if he'd piss him off like yelling about xbox or something like that he'd just turn off the power for the bottom breaker in the house and just be like no electricity for you that's like and he just put like a lock on the breaker box like he just do shit like that. That's brutal. That would have been such a trump card.

Like, if I was fucking around and like my mom or dad just turned off the electricity to my section of the home, I would have been like, touche. Taylor, what kind of dad are you going to be? Are you going to be a turn the electricity off off headbutt your son in the nose type dad are you gonna be uh uh i don't know if he gets you know see how little puppy may be in fairness like i make it sound like my dad was like a serial child beater oh i 100% deserved it i like i was old enough to know better and i like, I was like six foot two when I was 16 and like weighed a hundred kilos. Like if I, if my mom had like, if I'd have flown into a barn, I would never hit my mom. Obviously, if I'd have flown into a blind rage and thrown a right hook at her, I would have hurt her seriously.

And so dad's just like, oh, okay, this is the only way. To be clear, I thought all of your parental punishment stories were total lightweight. Yeah. Never at any point did I think that they were harsh they're not that harsh no but it's I didn't want my dad to watch this in some stage and then him being painted as like him being like Woody was in a wheelchair for two years

that's not true because of one of the beatings from his father it was because of his mom Munchhausen by proxy. She had him convinced he couldn't walk. Is this real or are you just trolling me? You're slightly exaggerating. It was crutches.

Being kicked on the ground and hit with shoes and things, that's all true. The snow scrapers left a big impression on me, literally and figuratively. The biggest thing that you bring up that leaves an impression on me is when you're like, yeah,

I spilled it. I dropped a glass of milk in my own kitchen as an adult, a retired adult in my beautiful home. And it shatters. And your first thought is like, I'm in trouble. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, Jackie was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. Cause she's really good at cleaning up broken glass she just the person who does it in her house and uh and i'm keeping the kitchen island in between us say that again i imagine you explaining that to her like honey you're so good at cleaning up broken glass i wouldn't even know where to start. She's like, well, you know, you just mop up the milk first. You already lost me. A broom and a dustpan.

He's like, I'd find a way to mess it up, though. Do I use my teeth? I was just going to rub my hands into the jars and grind them into my palms. But like, well, no. You're going to be more strategic my hands grind them into my palms like well no strategic than that though like I do this with my wife I just she asked me to do something and then I just

deliberately fuck it up time and time again until she doesn't ask me again it's like why is here see listen to these single people telling us about how to how to be a husband they don't know she'd just be like well yeah right i right i am but i come and fucking feed it to you in a sandwich anyway she was cleaning up but i was keeping the island in between us right just keeping that keeping that little barrier there that's ptsd yeah she pointed it out she's like woody it's okay like everything's like i could see what you're doing and i didn't really see what i was doing until she pointed it out yeah but you're like she drift from one part and i just keep working if i were her i'd have been i'd have been like like something that i feel like would

be therapeutic would be like woody woody take my glass of milk and throw it on the floor like like just just do it you need to let go of this fear you have inside of you of, like, minor infractions that you were abused for as a child for years. It just becomes a cathartic moment for Woody. Like, music's playing, but he's destroying everything in his house. Yeah.

Everything in his house. Take that, Mom! He just kicks the door down. He's like alright motherfucker and just starts like smashing china blades down I'm not in trouble I'm not in trouble this is my shit now

it's so dark do you still have a relationship with them Woody or do you just yeah I talk to them on the phone not in person now you stay in New Jersey on the phone. Not in person. Now you stay in New Jersey. I'm on my kitchen island.

They're in Florida now. I saw him I don't know, six months ago, something like that. Maybe it was longer. It's not a big deal. There's no lasting effects. He does piss himself every time he has to scrape ice off his windshield, though. More futuristic, though. Yeah, I mean, that's on purpose. He enjoys that.

It was too rough. Of course it was too rough! We're describing this child abuse not ironically. Yeah, it was... I feel bad, and I know your mother's listening to this. She watches. You abused your son. Child abuser. Oh, you've been called out.

He should have been taken from you. No, you're overdoing it. But she overdid it too. No, she overdid it. What is it called where you file for emancipation? I'm going to do it now. Emancipation?

They have money when they die Emancipation. I'm gonna do it now. Emancipation? Shit. Yeah, but they have money when they die that he's not gonna get it, so he's just like, I'll just stay away from them. No, I... Yeah, it was a lot. I never got in trouble for doing like, random shit like that. Like, it was it was like just like dropping something i wouldn't get in trouble for that but it was like it was always like

deliberate infractions you know oh yeah no i i deliberate infractions wasn't really what i that i recall you know like one that's burning in my head right now and i know you guys are gonna think it's overkill to get hit for, but I literally spilled milk. Like I tipped a glass over, it didn't break or anything. And you know, of course that was rough. And then I had to clean it up,

but afterwards I didn't clean the bottom of the glass. So it left a ring. This is a kitchen counter, like for Micah, like it's okay to get liquids on it. And then there was another round of like trouble for that. Cause I left a ring behind. then there was another round of trouble for that because I left a ring behind. When you say another round of trouble...

I don't know that she hit me the second time, but it was like yelling and screaming at me because now there's a ring. Name call? I'm not sure. When she called you names, what would she go after? Would she call you stupid?

No, I wouldn't say she... Like, it wouldn't be name-calling along those. It would be more like, you know... She wouldn't say, like, you're an asshole, right? Like, that would be never something that I would hear. But you're not working. You're not, you know, meeting expectations. You're not doing this.

You're embarrassing me. That kind of stuff is what she would say. Are your parents asian no sounds like a like the one of the the asian school complexes where it's like it's the end of exams and it's like oh no i'm not gonna pass put a pencil up my nose and head butt the desk like i've got it up are you the perfect husband are you the perfect husband now like uh does your wife ever have any complaints sure maybe maybe your mother was just trying to mold you into the perfect the perfect uh husband no uh i'm trying to think what would my wife's

primary she would i think she'd say i don't do enough around the house i've started doing the dishes she's so happy about that um that's what the dishwasher does though right dishwasher yeah yeah yeah is that what you mean by doing the dishes it is yeah like i i take it i wait i empty that i load and empty the dishwasher no he says don't we have a cleaner that does that? No, I load and unload the dishwasher. Maybe that's a better term. We tried to get a quote for a cleaning lady, and it was so expensive. Really? I forget if it was $500 a week or $750 a week or something. Are we doing it full time?

What? Right? I was just like, no, it's not worth it. So I have a guy that comes to my house, and it's just like, it's once a week and he just does like all the shit that I don't want to do. Like the vacuum mop, like clean the toilet and the shower. And like, he does the dishes while he's here, but it's like, we obviously have to do the dishes again, but it's just like all the cleaning shit that I can't be fucked doing. And it's like, he makes you catch up.

Hey, 80 bucks or something like that. For 80 bucks, I'd be all over that. I've had a couple of cleaning ladies i've had a couple cleaning ladies and they were always like really affordable like like 100 bucks would get the entire house like like taken care of and like she'd just come twice a week 200 bucks and i mean like everything like doing all of the laundry all of the dishes like mopping and windows and like the bathrooms and everything and then i had that one cleaning lady who like charged me extra for each condom she had to pick up off the floor and i was just like that's your job like like like you're looking at fabia like like if you don't want to pick up used condoms first of all you're in the wrong business and second

of all just tell me don't charge me five bucks a condom or something like that and then do it and charge me after the fact i was we never brought her brought her back because like she's gonna put me in the poor house if it's five dollars a condom like that ain't gonna work you don't wear them when you masturbate like you know if you're having a you're having a good session one night like like go through a lot of them you know maybe you put the condom on the fuck and you take it off and she sucks your dick and then condom back on and now we take a piss break and you know we smoke some weed and like like a condom off condom on and i'm not like you reusing condoms or anything you could easily go through eight or

ten condoms in a night how much is a condom like two bucks nothing out there surely it's like i think it's like a dollar of it like oh maybe like four dollars in australia two dollars american for like back at 20 or something wouldn't it they're so cheap that i have no idea what they cost like like i don't know i buy like 50 at a time oh they're about 50 cents each yeah yeah it's not a big deal it was like a what a five dollars five dollar sex session it was way more than it was like a 30 sex session or something like that that by the time she picked up all the condoms and then she smugged all your weight as well and then the girl herself charged 200 yeah yeah um as when taylor whenever taylor gets back i got some funny ama questions but yeah i i'm so sorry for the years of child abuse that you sustained at the hands of your but look at me now that's your mother just playing video games i mean

that was always weird like uh when i went from doing what i did which uh i think my my parents definitely were like oh yeah he's got a good job and stuff like that when i quit it was funny because my dad was just like he was the main one that was just like do it i'm like are you sure and he's like no go for it working for yourself fucking was just like he was the main one that was just like do it i'm like are you sure and he's like no go for it working for yourself fucking kicks ass like he worked for himself for his entire life he's like man you don't want to work in that shitty job for the rest of your life you're bored like take a risk and just do it and my mom was just like fucking no don't do it you keep throwing away a great job and you know your income and stuff like that and my brothers

and sisters thought i was fucking crazy so do you worry about the lack of security like i know you've got a twitch contract for two years but your previous track had you covered till retirement well yeah but i probably would kill myself before the anxiety so much so it's to be honest i was fucking depressed so it's like i was like that that's what i said to my wife she was like i was like i want to quit and she's like look i can't deal with you working there because you're just like fucking like i would come home and i'd take it out on her i'd like a like fucking just be like short with everyone and just be mean to people because i hated the people i worked with and and so she's just like just quit and be happy. And luckily, like, I quit and she finished.

She's an accountant. She finished a CPA, which I don't know if you have CPA in America, like certified practicing accountants. Yeah. So she finished that and then basically put out a tender to work in another firm. And she got like six job offers in a week. And so I got a big pay rise and it just covered the loss and so i was like i couldn't set i was just done so we worked

out like i didn't worked out the minimum that i could that i could go to in a month like i can't fall below this amount on subs or revenue or whatever anything above that is just bonus and then that's it so uh oh you had the uh you went into fitness lately you were telling me on stream how much you lost it was an impressive amount but you didn't use freedom units uh yeah it was like 30 pounds like i do you man yeah thanks i i mean i'm still like overweight i i i mean i don't even know what it is in pounds but yeah i've just been like i started doing it on stream though i called it jacked puppy and we're like yeah let's uh i'll do like push-ups for subs and like by the end of the first night i'm pretty sure i tore my rotator cuff because i'm just like fuck you kill this fat man how many were you before you were like this man like

i had to like i got to like 100 and then i'm like i gotta switch like squats or something like that and then they were just like caning me i went for like i went for like a good five streams but it fucking hurt like the next day because i hadn't been exercising i woke up and i felt like i had my arms chopped off and so i was like yeah it's not gonna work so i'm just like doing it off stream instead and it's like it wasn't even that big a change it was just like i used to drink like shit loads of beer and i drank every night and then i just sort of went okay no cut out the beer and switch to like to straight liquor because i love a drink but not every night like once a week wait a minute you lost 30 pounds by switching from beer to liquor that's the trick

it's a lot less calories it's a lot less calories food was the bulk of it and also also you yeah you drink a lot less because like scotch is a lot stronger so you don't need you don't know like if i sit down okay i'm australian so this is gonna sound like i'm like the biggest piss head in the entire universe if i sit down i can drink like i can i can drink like 24 cans like in a stream how long of a stream uh well that depends how fast i drink but i mean i got banned off twitch for getting so drunk that I passed out alive on stream. Yeah. So, like, a beer is 5.5% alcohol if it's, like, average. And it's, like, 150 calories. Whereas, like, a shot of vodka or tequila or whiskey, those are the lowest caloric alcohols,

is, like, 75 calories? 60? 75? 60. Is it 100? Yeah. is like 75 calories. 60, 75. 60, 100. Is it 100? Yeah. It's because it's the alcohol that's so caloric. Yeah.

One ounce of vodka. You don't drink as many. 65. You don't drink as many, though, because I'll have 24 beers. But I'll only have like five scotches. What are you looking up? I googled the calories in one ounce of vodka. Oh, no.

A shot of vodka. So that's 100 calories. Or I was doing it by shots. You're doing it by ounces. Yeah. I've never poured it by ounces. I just do a shot if I'm doing that usually.

Okay. But I don't know. I guess it is. In any case, it's a lot fewer calories even if you're drinking vodka versus beer. Because it's just liquid bread well i sort

of based that because like when when i was in when i was like 21 i moved out of home and i used to drink a lot of beer before then like from like because our drinking age is 18 here so obviously i was a uh well-versed alcoholic by the time i was 14 and so we're like we were i moved out home at 21 and i'd basically just like been drinking beer like non-stop and i moved out home and i just uh started smoking a heap of weed and stopped drinking beer and i ended up being like super skinny and so i was like okay well i guess it's the beer and then i started drinking beer again when i got my wife poor her now i'm a fat cunt and she's stuck with me and then uh so i was like well i'll cut out the beer and obviously uh like cut out the change the diet as well and then just trying to like trying to walk

as much as possible like uh trying to get like 30 minutes of like cardio a day and do like it was like everyone's doing like just doing like 25 push-ups and like 25 sit-ups and 25 squats a day and do like it was like everyone's doing like just doing like 25 push-ups and like 25 sit-ups and 25 squats a day because i like i used to like i swear i've been on like so many of the like the kicks and stuff like that where it's like oh yeah go for it like do a trillion and stuff like that and then i just end up like hating it because i'm sore so i'm just like i'm going at it in this like really just like methodical super low impact way because i have a bad back as well i have like like these like i remember it was called it's like osteoarthritis runs in my family but i have these like bone spurs in my back that push into the

sciatic nerve like if i try and go do deadlifts like i'll literally be a fucking cripple for like three weeks like and i'll be like so loaded up on like Endone that I won't shit for like a month. So it's like just fucking... That's how I got banned because I was so loaded up on Valium and Endone that I had like fucking 10 beers and then I was just like...

Well, you can't combine alcohol with those medications. Well, yeah. Turns out you can, Kyle. That's what they said. That's what they said on the bottle. Taylor, how much can you squat? Both bottles, by the way. You're looking at the bottle of beer.

You're looking at the bottle of pills. They're both like, don't do it. I don't know. How much do you squat, Taylor? Is it a lot? I haven't done it in quite a while okay yeah i not not one of my stronger lifts and also i think i have like a meniscus problem because a lot of stuff that i do like even like weighted lunges and stuff like i feel like that's a little more straightforward on my knees but like like I've ever since, like I popped something in my right knee,

like many months ago, I've been very hesitant to, to load up a ton of lower weight stuff again. Okay. We'll see. I don't know the point of going super heavy anyway. You're not an athlete. That's why I seem to be higher reps to get,

you know, the results you actually want. You're not training to be the mountain where you need to, but we're all going to the same place. We just want cheese grater abs that a hooker's going to lick cocaine off. That is the goal. That is the goal.

Lighter with more reps would seem to be the guy. You're not going to burn any calories lifting weights anyway. That's a terrible aerobic exercise. You do building muscle mass burns calories though so much less than you think like like a pound of muscle like a pound of lean muscle is burning like 60 more calories a day or something like it's like nothing it's like nothing like and it you know if you worked out for a year and gained two or three pounds of muscle like it's just a negligible difference it's it's the difference between like one soft drink that you're now allowed to drink because you put you packed on

like a noticeable amount of muscle over the course of a year one small sprite you can now have for free yeah like you obviously have to do it though because you want to like if you're gonna go and run like like a mile or whatever how many miles you ever want you want to run like you obviously have to do it though because you want to like if you're gonna go and run like like a mile or whatever how many miles you ever want you want to run like you obviously have to strengthen your legs and your tendons and stuff like that otherwise you're gonna be like your cardiovascular fitness is gonna advance quicker than your and your tendon strength then you're just gonna end up with like shin splints and fuck knees so it's like that's that was my problem like i used to i've been like i'd go and run and then like the first day i'd run like 5k and i'll be like dying i'll be like coughing up a lung and then i'd just like wake

up the next day and i feel like i've been shot in the fucking leg so it's like oh i give up and then running's a terrible running's a terrible way to get cardio i think the elliptical machine might be the safest thing there is yeah better for your knees your joints better for everything i do that i like the exercise bike personally because i i sit there and watch youtube and just like i can i don't even notice that i'm sort of exercising i just came for like 10k's on the exercise bike and then it's it's done you know yeah i hate exercise bikes yeah i don't mind i think it may be like uh not the best for my knees though because it's like i can feel them clicking sometimes, and I'm like, eh.

I have a couple AMA questions here, if any of you listeners would like to submit AMA questions to us. It's $10 a month over on the Patreon. It's the same level as getting PKN the moment we upload it. Lately, we've been doing PKN on Mondays, so you get it super early. Almost a couple. I you get it super early. I've got a couple here. It's almost hard to pick one, but this is a good one.

Can you do a sex toy starter pack? We've done first guns that you should buy. How about first sex toys we should buy? Sibian. Begin strong. $4,000 for a speed. It's going to take up a lot of room in your house? A flashlight, but not just a flashlight.

It's got to be the kind that goes from boob to thigh. I bought a Sibian a couple weeks ago. It was $1,000 and it was worth every penny. It's just for girls, right? I've never seen a guy use it. I've never seen a guy use it. I assume you can sit on a Jackie Dick it. Yeah, I've never seen a guy use it.

I assume you can sit on a Jackie Dick if you want to. I'm sure you could. I'm sure you could. I'm not a big fan of vibrating stimulus on the donga to be that interesting. The donga. On the donga. No, it's very fun to operate, though, because it's got not only the most intense vibration you can possibly imagine but like the the toy also does this like twirly thing uh on uh and you've got like two knobs one for twirly speed and one for

like crazy vibration speed and it's loud at first it's just like but when you turn it up it's just like it sounds like a gasoline powered lawnmower in this room. It's hilarious. Do you have a long-term partner that you're using this on, or is this just for anyone who wants to have a ride and has got a bit of glad wrap to put over it? Yes. I was thinking about it.

That is not a starter sex toy that's like if we're doing the gun comparison that's your .50 cal sniper rifle right that's the last gun you purchase what's your glock of sex toys I think the glock of sex toys is

a magic wand with speed control now take a pause here a magic wand exactly like the one by Hitachi that plugs into the wall or like a Domi or something magic wand like? So I prefer one that plugs into the wall because I just run an extension cord to the bed. I've got an extension cord right there.

So I, you know, multiple sockets. Outdoor power cord with the six heads on it. Sure, sure. Exactly. The one that spans out like you would have in any workshop. I actually prefer the hibachi magic wand. The hibachi magic wand. It tells bad jokes and throws food at you.

Yeah, you can throw the egg up and you crack it. Catches it in these ass shakes cheeks it's a different time i like the dummy but it's less spontaneous the dummy things look what was it those are her tachi things i have i have one of those in my house oh yeah i brought it for my wife and she i turned it on and she goes to me that is never going near my genitals it looks like a fucking jackhammer like it i there's a video of me on somewhere on i think on twitter of me with it on my head vibrating it and it sounds like it's gonna crack my skull it's like you need the speed controls yeah i'm well aware of that but it looks like it actually would sand her clit off like it's did you get this take a pause here rookie did you get the speed control yeah yeah no there's a speed control on it but even on the lower setting it looks like it's like

kyle knows i can see that kyle knows what i know and you don't yeah that there is a um a dial that goes in between the magic wand and the wall and it reduces. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it works with the, it works with the magical fairies, a light dimmer. Yeah. That's what a potentiometer is. Yeah.

But like, so just decreases the amount of voltage as it's going to it. Exactly. And now you've got the, you have all the speed. It basically can be barely on to, and then of course the full phase, what it would be if it was

40 volts to my took an old welder So now I know it's it you had to put a potentiometer between the Hitachi in the wall yeah Like the lowest setting I reckon it could work out like a not in a rhinoceros no that's a new word for me but it can definitely get her to come right absolutely um yeah i think that that is the glock of sex toys here's why can i jump on that here's why because i know you're a fan the there may be positions that aren't her favorite position, but when you add this to the mix,

every position is her favorite position. So it can be right. Maybe you want to hit it spoon or something. And she's like, ah, it never works for me with the wand. It does. So there are attachments for the wand.

So the end of the wand is kind of like this bulb that's almost like like i might imagine my fist is that there are these attachments that cup onto that yeah and then and then off oh there is the jack off when i i don't have one of those i'm not interested in that you know it doesn't look pleasant it looks i have one not cool thank you you saved me eight dollars i hold on i can i i know you're the thing the jack off thing that goes on the bulb i read on the internet that it was amazing i read on the internet that it sucked the orgasm out of him against his will it wouldn't stop until he removed it and i was like click that wasn't my experience I thought it was

stupid so there's a couple of attachments you can get that like cup on to the bulb and then they sort of have like G spot manipulation where it's like this, like lazy L shaped insertable thing. Um, and the bonus of that is that like, not only is that at the angle that it goes in the vagina, then the bulb that's of the Hitachi actually goes like on the clit. So it's like this perfect sex toy where you can like move it up and down or back and forth or in and out and like do all sorts of advanced techniques with it. So I think the Hitachi is the Glock of sex toys. Other than that, things like rabbit dildos that have both clitoral and penetrative stimulation. The womanizer things. Have you ever seen those?

What? The womanizer things. They're like the suction clit stimulator things. They're super popular now. things they're like the suction like stimulator things they're like super populated it's so super popular now and they're just like a they look like a it's like the top of a bottle but essentially it's just like a clit stimulator i think that oh i've i don't have this but i've seen it so you just place a little hole over the clit and press the plus that's just like a that's just something you can use like it's It's like the Hitachi, but it's not as...

Hitachi could look intimidating. If you brought a girl home and you were just like, how about this? She's just like, who the fuck is that? Yeah, I mean, this just looks like... I wouldn't bring a girl like that home. Yeah. I've never...

Any girl who's just like, ooh, no, not a not a sex toy it's just like what are you doing here it's like like like that girl that i brought back to my hotel room that time that was like that i got off of facebook and like she gets into bed with me and we start i start to like do stuff to her and she's like oh i, I was just here to hang out. And I'm like, bitch, what did you think I was here for? Are you insane? You think I want your company?

You, you thought, you thought that I, I invited you here off of my Facebook fan page because I wanted to get to know a girl with a lip ring tonight. Dude, guys, I can't hang out with the bros tonight. There's this girl I'm going up to the hotel with. Tells the funniest stories.

Just bumping the gut the whole time. You brought a bottle of OJ and a bottle of vodka with you. You thought we were just gonna shoot the shit? Like, of course I'm here to fuck you. Of course. Get out. You have wasted my time.

That's literally the only time i've ever met a girl and she was like you're like surely you're in the facebook chat message just be like yeah come around fucking massive 10 000 winky faces tongues poked out like you can't get any more obvious like you don't really gonna be like yeah come around and i'll fucking smash your guts in let's let's go i just thought it was very obvious like what we were what we were agreeing to like like when i'm if i put myself in the shoes of a young lady when like a man invites me to her hotel room at 10 o'clock at night and we're drinking alcohol in bed we're not there for like the next thing that happens is not like a game of go fish or like everybody knows this yeah i i was i was the common the most common

knowledge and on the planet all of you guys speak a language as much as i was just like confused at her stupidity i'm that stupid or maybe she just got there and decided she didn't want to fuck me that's possible too that's no it's not I mean she saw your dick and was just like meh that's the thing like we didn't even get to that like it was just like you gotta be like a third people or something to turn her off I thought things were going well but you never know

for all I know she shit her pants and I didn't notice it and she was embarrassed like you never know what like actually happened or went down maybe she's on a period she might have immediately gotten her period like in that moment for all I know just being like no I don't want to

because she doesn't like you know on the rag I wouldn't have wanted to fuck her if she's on her period either but yeah as far as the sex toys go that was rude of her that was rude of her dumb bitch if she's on her period either um but but yeah as far as the sex toys go um some curtsy head that was rude of her that was rude of her um dumb bitch and so yeah hitachi wands your glock um in my opinion the the rabbit like they make tons of them but like a nice soft rabbit that's

got like the clitoral stimulation lots of speeds and maybe some sort of like ball bearing spinny thing on the insert part is, is kind of like your AR 15. Maybe it can, it can really get the job done. Lots of different jobs. And after that, like you're getting into like more kinky stuff,

like butt plugs and like, what about for the boys? Oh, I, that's what a girlfriend, like, like just, just get a, like, like use your a like use your hand or or you know guys like if i brought a sex toy for myself off the internet i'd feel like a fucking weirdo

no i bought sex toys i own sex toys that are for me i just don't use them because it's like inconvenient it's it's like three percent better than using my hand and elaborately messy wank like you have to you have to lube up and like do or like there's cleanup there's a cleanup with the wank it's just like i'm done and then you just roll over and fall asleep can you imagine owning a sex doll like one of those big fucking sex dolls i think sex dolls? I think sex dolls... Taylor went, no. As he looks over his shoulder at what is almost certainly his sex dolls.

He's punching and filling with sand. I'm actually pummeling it. After every string which is a big pussy carved in the back. The decapitated, amputeed sex dolls, I think, are just as yucky as the full-fledged sex dolls. Have you seen the ones that are like a...

Just a torso? It's like a foot with a vagina on the bottom of it? Yeah. Oh, I've seen that, sure. I saw that and I was like, fucking humanity is lost. Like, that's the end. I just want a big earlobe to fuck. Like, that's the toy I want. I just want it to a big earlobe to fuck like that's the toy i want

i just want it to be like an oversized ear that i can fuck the canal like a gauged ear look yeah i want to make that can you hear me now joke every time i get it out like circle that circle back to me when you see a large man's belly button for that i could buy so staying on the topic of like sex and sex toys and that sort of thing this guy asks would it be a bad idea to lose my virginity in a vegas brothel or a prostitute in general i'm in my early 20s now i know my answer would someone else like to go first slush well i'll tell you if i wouldn wouldn't do it in Vegas because all of them are legal. You need to go to Crump.

No, just outside Vegas. They're legal. It's like an hour drive. Seems like a long way to fucking have sex. A long way to lose your virginity? He's been working on this task for 22 years. An hour is not a big problem. I mean, it's like... Look, an hour is not a big problem but it's like look at hours gonna pass either way

you might as well be fucking on the other side of it i've said that so many times like like every time i drove to florida florida or to like north carolina to fuck a girl before i made that five hour drive I'd be like five hours is going to go by one way or another I love driving in my car it's either this or watch eight episodes of the Simpsons it's this

it's this they're both damn high IQ that's what made me the man i am today taylor you get a cow with a tv chaser in it you just uh grizzling hallway watching dvd you know just roll a dvd in there so yeah my advice is yeah yeah do it get out of your system get it over with maybe it'll be i think i think maybe it'll be easier for you to like

find a girl that you don't have to pay once you've kind of like gotten over maybe the mental hurdle of just like fucking the first girl i don't think it was huge yeah he'll realize that it's not some mystic garden that everybody else has access to and he doesn't and he's on the outs it'll be like oh i'm okay i i at least know what i'm doing kinda yeah you're paying for pussy one way or another everyone is true you'll just be doing it cash only you'll be getting it cheap yeah the only difference is you'll have a receipt for all he knows well i mean what he's got kids for all he knows the rest of us are virgins i mean we're fucking and we're gonna receive i have receipts i'm torn on it i i feel like pushing that decision back to him you know like it look

if you want your first time to be special in someone you love and someone you'll always wonder how she's doing now and stuff that's not the worst thing you know like it look if you want your first time to be special in someone you love and someone you'll always wonder how she's doing now and stuff that's not the worst thing you know like it really you know what he gives himself a time limit be like these next three months it's gonna be the best version of me when i get out there when he gets a pussy it's gonna go great it's gonna be tremendous gets to the end of that three months, and you're honest, and you say, I did give it my all. Nothing's panning out. Then go to Vegas. That'll put an end cap on your strap. I like that. And also, it'll give you even more

confidence if you're able to get this done before you have to go pay for it. Not just more confidence. What this will give you, while you're trying to get free quote-unquote pussy for the next three months, be saving. Be saving a little cash up because when you go out there don't fuck a 300 hooker get yourself a 1200 hooker there's a big difference yeah eight nine hundred dollars nine hundred dollars is exactly yeah yeah literally 900 but

but also in quality what what is it why don't you just get on tinder and then just put i'm a virgin on there i think you'd be surprised how many girls would be like fuck yeah it doesn't work no one believed it they're like you're 45 yeah okay i'm kind of lying about my age. Yeah. I say do it like, like, and do it. Yeah, absolutely do it. Cause like,

like I don't want to be mean about this, but like maybe there's a reason you haven't gotten laid in your 22. Like, like maybe you're not the greatest looking guy or maybe like I've, what I've noticed in my deal, I've met a lot of people like, like because of like what I've been doing the last 10 years, I've ended up meeting a lot of people like, like because of like what I've been doing the last 10 years, I've ended up meeting a lot of people, like more people than I would have ever met if I weren't

doing stuff on the internet. And what I found is that people who have severe personality disorders have no idea that they have severe personality disorders. I meet like, there's a couple of guys in the $50 patron that like i'm perfectly kind of them all the time but every time they leave i'm like wow you think that guy knows the answer no he has no idea that he is like barely a functional human being and and like you might be that guy no offense like like maybe you are just like maybe you have a severe personality disorder. Maybe you are weird as fuck to be around. I hate a fucker that interrupts too much. Or he might be shy and isn't putting himself out there.

Because that seems to be another very common situation. Hopefully. Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. I was talking about me. It was a self-deprecating joke is what I was going for. Oh, I thought you were, I was thinking of like which $50 page did that interrupt. I thought you instantly knew I was joking about me. It was a self-deprecating joke is what I was going for. Oh, I thought you were – I was thinking of like which $50 patron that interrupted me. I thought you instantly knew I was joking about me. No, I just know that there was a $50 patron that interrupted you one too many times and you got all red-faced and screamed at him.

I don't think my face was that red. You were like fighting that. Going red-faced, talking about it. you were like fighting about it no the the one i'm thinking the guy that i thought i went harsh on was the one that uh was being mean to me when i had a broken leg he said i was too old and that i would never heal and it hurt it hurt my feelings i think so too old and you'd never heal yeah not even like a blur or something it's just mean people don't under like that guy has a bit of a personality disorder like like when people

can't understand like the difference between like friendly joking and just really being a scummy piece of shit about like a sensitive subject i banned somebody the other day and he sent me this whole thing and he was just like hey all i said was this this and that and i'm like yeah you said this and then 10 minutes later you said that and then like i keep getting reports about you from different people complaining about you saying that you've said this you attack two different mods in a week and you attacked a third today and then you said three insulting things to me and i wasn't even having a conversation with you you were just interjecting into a conversation with somebody else you're gone you're gone they just personality disorder it's like just the reading of like uh subtle social cues like some people just uh incapable of it and they just think that like i think they just look in and then just see someone

oh look at that little dog oh that's a cute little fucker. Dude. Look at this cute little fucker. Oh, it's like a piece of shit, Taylor. Jesus Christ. You prick. I got half a mind to go get Teddy right now. Oh, look at this motherfucker.

Look at him. He's posing for the camera. Taylor, get Teddy. I think we're going to have a dog off. Oh, yeah. He's 11. I think 11. Hold on. I can't compete with an 11-week-old.

Jesus. I'm going to get my dog, though. One moment. That dog's cute as fuck. Yeah, he's a Scottish Terrier. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's a good boy. I don't have any dogs right now but i love dogs yeah that biting stage where he's just like teething on everything

and so look at this ugly piece of shit oh that's super cute like like look at the difference in personality like right off the bat like like like slush's dog is like hey guys i'm on camera look at me i'm a i'm an internet celebrity puffer i got eight i got 18 000 instagram followers your dog is like taylor's dog is like i don't want to be here did you please put me down on the ground please I just want to go piss in the corner my dad and brother just got over here

to pick something up or drop something off it is very bright in this room it's too bright in the room it's very bright in here and I don't care for it please put me down and Woody's dog is just he's a monster he's a good

boy he seems like a real good boy i just he just can't compare with the cuteness of the slush ass is he a doberman yeah yours he's a great day great day let's see yeah um yeah we were like oh we want do we want to get a big dog and then uh and then we're like yeah we couldn't we couldn't find we we were like oh we got three cats and we sort of didn't want like a big dog like chased around the cats and then we're like oh fuck it we get a small dog and then we couldn't find any small dogs that we like so we ended up having to get my wife found on the internet she's like oh scottish terriers have like really good personalities and they're all like yappy dogs they're like quiet and stuff like that and so i ended up paying like fucking four grand for this fucking dog that's expensive flown in from another state and i'm just like my wife ordered it and she's like oh i paid the

deposit and i'm like uh yeah how much does two have to pay and she's like oh another another fucking four grand and i'm like are you fucking paying for this cunt i was uh i was i was filming for this TV show, and we went to this attack dog training place in Kentucky, I think, where they train Belgian Malinois for the military and for police departments. And they're like, if you don't know, they're like a medium-sized German shepherd. It's an attack dog.

They're bad motherfuckers. I saw those on shot show the um putting one demo i think the same place that you're talking about so like yeah he had like a crotch plate and i was like attacking him it was fucking funny yeah and and that guy like watching that guy demo his personal dog samson like convinced me to buy a $2,500 fucking Belgian Mal that ended up hating me to this day. It hates me. He's fine. You know, I don't know.

He's like eight or something, nine or something years old, something like that. He's a little gray around his mouth, but like, I wouldn't want to take him on, you know, the last time he, he and I were in a free space where, where he was not restrained, he bit me. Is he with Kitty now? Huh? Oh, yeah, he's with Kitty. Yeah. Dude, my favorite angle of this story is Kitty wanted to have him neutered, right?

Is neutered for boys? Yeah. And Kyle didn't. But he hated Kyle. And it's like, you asshole. The only thing between you and your femininity is me. Me. I stood up for that set of testicles of yours.

I'm done. I'm done. He's neutered now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, fucking he deserves it. If Kitty didn't love that dog, if that were just my dog, I'd have killed that dog. I'd have killed that dog. If Kitty didn't love that dog, if that were just my dog, I'd have killed that dog.

I'd have just killed him. If it viciously attacked you. It did viciously attack me. That is the nature of its attacks, yeah. It bit me on the calf and drew blood and caused a huge bruise. Now, if it wanted to, it could have literally torn my calf off of my body, but it was biting me in an aggressive like warning kind of way because it sees me as an enemy an intruder in any circumstance

whatsoever how long ago is this uh he bit me about three years ago so you've just been no i was avoiding him for years before that like Who's Kitty? I don't know who Kitty is. Long-time friend of mine, business manager. Done ad sales for me for a long time and all sorts of other stuff. Yeah, I got you. You were talking about protecting your dog's nutsack with the neutering thing. So they – I don't even know how you messed this up. I have two dogs, and and fozzie they removed both

testicles got it taken care of teddy every once in a while you just see a testicle in there there's they didn't get rid of it actually remove them they they snip the fingers and then they just shrink like uh into well then they failed because No, no. They clearly removed them here. Yeah, it's like you look at Fozzie's and it's totally flat. And then you look at Teddy's and every once in a while it's like, there's a testicle right there. How do you go in, charge us $500 to remove

these, and then you just get back to it? They charge by the pound. How could it possibly cost that much? I didn't pay for it. Okay. I have no idea. That's just, she told me.

Who paid for it? Girlfriend. She told me. Yeah, she got taken for a ride. Well, wait a minute. I wouldn't have minded if they did the job. This is like a $100 thing. Maybe I'm misremembering the price.

I didn't go. I do know that just earlier today, I saw a little teddy land on his back wanting pets. The one you just saw. You could see a little ball where his nuts clearly still are. The little purple tip of his penis was coming out.

Hold him up to the camera. It's just like his nutsack though. They leave the nutsack there. I thought it was just like they slipped it like they do with like humans but the um it's in there you can feel it you can get your dog neutered at Petco for $10

Taylor wait you can? and I must be misremembering the amount she said I fucking hope so if that's the case. Are you sure that's a dog neutering? No, that's a guana neutering service. You took them to the zoo and the tiger guy did it.

$500, you can get a human neutered for that. I'm sorry, to get a cat neutered is $10, dogs are $20. I went and recently had a uh vasectomy and uh i don't want i don't want to have kids and i've never wanted kids and my wife has never want kids we've been together for like 10 years no and uh i was like i went into this this was like the most laid back thing ever i was like i don't know how dogs could hate this. I went in there.

They gave me some ice cream. I just sat down. I fell asleep. And then they came and woke me up to anesthetize me for this thing. Cause I was just like chilling out. And then I just woke up and then I was just numb from the waist down. And then I just came back and strained for 12 hours, like the same day. You didn't have to ice it or anything?

No. How much pain was there post-op? It felt like, you know, when you get kicked in the balls, it's like a, it's sort of like if you shift and you sort of like catch it on your leg or something, it's like being kicked in the balls. So it's like, you just have to be gentle, not like touching, like not like.

How long before you could have sex again? I think it was... He said 14 days. I didn't follow his recommendations. This is good news. You're a good man. I respect that. I think on the third day, I sent a message to my wife.

I woke up and I'm like, Oh, good news. I got wood. It still works. She's like, yay. It was like, that didn't come she's like but it was like you know how in australia it cost me 77 don't you cost to get it done wow it's probably more than that here probably i would guess more but it would be cheaper for me to fly to australia and get a vasectomy than to get a vasectomy here. How much is it here? Did you look at it? No, but it's more than $77. And a ticket to Australia

is probably like two grand. I think it's like fucking 900 bucks to fly to Australia. It's not even that much. Yeah, if you want to stop like two times and have the whole thing taking 50 hours, I'm sure it is. It's actually about, I looked it up, about the same price, about a thousand bucks here. And if the and at the plane tickets 99 plus 77 for the vasectomy 33 bucks profit yeah but

australia yeah yeah i'm with you yeah they won't let me in that's okay it's it's it's a no-go i think they would let criminals just roll in there regardless. Like, you would have to be a criminal to come. That's why my family is convict stock. They're like full-on criminals. That's the statue outside of Australia. Give us your arsons, your murderers, your lawyers. Your lawyers.

Your lawyers. We're like unarmed combat, like the Purge, but we don't have any guns, so we just all beat the fuck out of each other with our fists. That's our work. Eventually, you guys will get your guns back. I have guns. All of my mates have

guns. Everyone's always like, Australia doesn't have any. Everyone I know has guns. How do they get it? Well, they're legal. You can purchase firearms. It's just that you need to get a license before doing it. So it's basically like the license.

They'll say you need a gun license. And Americans are like, what? But it's essentially just a pre-background check. So you just go. And once you get the license, that counts as a background check and then every uh oh thanks every uh every um time you want to go and get a gun you just rock up and just get one and it's the same as america so it's like it's just that they've never tried so they don't actually they just see the law as like obfuscated and they like they see it as difficult to get a firearm and so

they're like no no you can't no one can have them it's like man like all my mates have got like multiple like like 10 20 guns easily can you get fun guns like ar-15s and yeah so that the main thing is it's like you need to have a reason that they they call like a legitimate reason but it's like if you own like farmland and you need to like vomit hunt to like get rid of rabbits you get ar-15 but no one uses it for that like people just go and fucking blast off ar-15s for fun and which reason did you use that well so mine don't mine don't sit those ones don't sit under me because they're with my what are you doing sorry i was getting attacked by the dog um the um so those ones don't fit but sit with me they sit with other people that have massive amounts of land and then have what's called a

primary producer's license which is like for shooting uh for people that are like farmers and stuff like that and so they have all those under their name and then for me i just have like targeted sports guns so i have like a 12 gauge and a 22 magnum just for varmint hunting and skate shooting and making like i'd get pistols i get you get everything that you want you get a 50 cal if you want to it's just like people don't actually care to look into it it's pretty easy hmm yeah yeah you can get a license here for a fully auto gun but um and i think it's also like kind of easy but it's expensive and of course it's expensive to shoot you can spend more in ammo than a non-shooter my guess but uh it's also like every year you have to pay i would probably know how much it is but it might be four digits like it's a lot

yeah fuck it's so like when they did the so they did the weapons ban in australia i'm pretty sure that everyone just like was like oh i lost my ak because like you always it's always like oh yeah no they all got handed in but like there's no fucking way they did like yeah there's i won't like you know i'm torn like like i had a bump stock and then trump made bump stocks illegal and uh at the time kyle was going through legal problems his guns were all legal but i guess he got in trouble and then suddenly even his legal guns caused him extra trouble because they acted like the guns were related to the marijuana somehow and i was like this like you have that if you have that license is it so that from what i understand it's it's a ffl like production manufacturing to own firearms that

opens you up to like be tried under federal crimes that would usually be state crimes from what i understand that sounds pretty close that might yeah that could be it um but anyway i about that before they have like they're like i can get it but it also gives the it also gives the um whatever the fuck you call them the the tobacco and firearms guys the ability to just come and storm into your house whenever they want without a warrant. So people are like, I don't want that. Yeah. So I just got rid of my bump stock

because I don't need the trouble. I didn't want to lie about it because what happens if they come in here for some reason? What if I just get swatted? I don't know. And then that leads to a search and then a bump stock turns up like just fucking owning illegal guns i don't know yeah let someone else

i have heard of people wanting it before i don't know any myself obviously like all my firearms are registered um i just like yeah i don't think it's like that hard like if people really wanted to get them it seems as though it's pretty trivial to be honest i would bet yeah even the modification of like like i have a uh what what we call in australia like a straight pull shotgun which is under like an easier category to get than a pump action but it is just essentially a pump action shotgun and you can modify that to be a pump action but it's easier to shoot than a pump action so i don't know why i bought it by it and i'm sure you could with the if you really really wanted to you could probably put like a gas impingement system on it and make it into a semi-auto but

and it's like what's a straight pull shotgun i've never heard of that i'm familiar with that either so it's like it's you know how you have the charging handle on like a benelli m3 it's like instead of when you shoot it it doesn't uh it doesn't uh cycle so you shoot it and then you cycle it yourself but it's like so it's essentially a pump action it's just exactly the same thing but it's called a straight pull because the action isn't a pump on the front it's just the same it's like a bolt action shotgun i think the ar-15 but it's not a bolt it's just a it's stripe pull like it's very similar to a bolt it just doesn't go up right maybe you just pull it right back and then you let it go and then it's ready to fly again. So it's like a

streamlined bolt action. What is it called on an AR-15? A charging handle? I think. Yeah, yeah. So it's like a charging handle, right? You shoot and then you manually... Yeah, yeah. I was looking at... I did. I designed an AR-15 that we were going to produce and try to sell in Australia once that was a pump

action AR-15 to get around the semi-automatic stuff pump action yeah you could you could do you could do there are straight pull uh essentially a pump action uh ar-15s in australia you can get really easy but i think like a lot of the time like the extra amount of effort that it would require and and money it would take to purchase that is not worth it when you could just get a bolt action and most people their family have owned bolt actions that are perfectly functional and they just continue to use them from like the 70s so they just don't care so i think that's the the main part of it like everyone just goes down and like some cunts come home from

vietnam with a with an slr and they're just like it's just sitting around the house and they just don't care about it so it's like they take it out and once everyone's drunk or some shit like that and then they just put it away and it doesn't say the light of day for the next four years a lot of guns seem to be got another ama question here kyle what's your advice on finding women who are really into weird sex stuff? I am a kinky gentleman myself and would like to find women who have that tablespoon of crazy. Fetlife. F-E-T-L-I-F-E.

Fetlife.com. It would have helped if you would have told us what he's into. It doesn't matter. FetLife will cover it. I believe you, but it matters to me. Ah, yeah. It would have been a bit more entertaining to know exactly what's wrong with you. I have to make an account?

If you just browse around this site, I have to make an account? Yeah, you have to make an account. Looky Lou. Yeah, Looky Lou. Nine and a half million members. You're right. There's going to be something here for everyone. Something there for everyone.

I hope bug chasers are covered. When you fill out your profile, there's like, every night, like you're filling out your profile, I'll have to Google some of the kinks to be like, I don't know if I'm into that or not.

Let me see. I don't know what that is. Turns out, check. Turns out, yeah. They don't have acronyms aren't they they they like they're like they super long like acronyms and i read them and i'm just like what the fuck that is like how the hell am i supposed to know what this shit is i'm gonna need like an i'm like a fucking scrabble dictionary for doing weird shit to your dick like listen to like like it's nickname gender you can pick male female non-binary gender queer gender fluid transgender trans male to female trans

female to male cross-dresser transvestite intersex femme butch or if none of that is okay it's not applicable sexual orient wait wait wait back on that one one Taylor you can't choose male what's your second choice uh yeah but is it butch like a like a I don't know Harley riding lesbian

is that what I'm going to say that's what he identifies as he identifies as a Harley riding lesbian. He's looking for other ladies like himself. This one you got. Go ahead. No, no, never mind. It's all good.

I'd definitely choose Butch though, I think. Yeah, that's the better one. Is there power bottom? That's gender. That is a later one, I'll tell you. This one's just sexual orientation. You can be straight, heteroflexible, bisexual, homoflexible, gay, lesbian, dyke, queer, pansexual, demisexual, asexual. What are you doing here?

You're right. Fluctuating slash evolving so like if you're like a level 35 charmillion and you know you're about to be a charizard like that's what you want to select uh and then unsure or not applicable some of those seem like they overlap yeah so bisexual seems like that would be the same as heteroflexible or homoflexible because doesn't bisexual just mean you're you're cool i think i think that bisexual would mean that you equally are attracted to both men and women regardless of your own uh of what sex you identify as however heteroflex would mean you're primarily if you identify as a man into women but you are flexible

a little bit on that and the same thing is true for homeless homo flexible it would be that you are a man who is attracted to men primarily but you are a little flexible on that maybe demisexual means demisexual is a new one for me my friend okay it says i just looked it up uh demisexuality is an orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to to folks folks to folks that they have a close emotional connection with oh cool oh it's like attention yeah all right i get it they have uh they have role here role is a dominant dom like d-o-m-m-e uh switch wait dominant and dom is two different things it's a it's a gender imagine that dom with the m-e at the end is female and dominant is the man

oh it's an m-e yeah okay yeah and then there's switch the french pronunciation yeah and then there's switch which means you you, you know, dealer's choice. This guy can do anything. Submissive. Funny enough, that's the only one in the category that's not capitalized. So even that submissive. Well played. There's mistress, there's slave, there's Kajira, and there's Kajirus. And then there's top bottom, sadist, mas sadomasochist and disciplinarian so like if

you're all about grammar there was one i didn't understand what was the one towards the end yeah yeah yeah what is that it's k-a-g-i-r-a that's what i'm thinking of godzilla if you want to fuck godzilla's daughter then you complete that one like Like in the first Godzilla movie where they're interviewing the last survivor from the fish fishing boat and he's all, he's got radiation, he's got radiation poison. They're holding the lighter. He just goes, Gojira, Gojira. I don't know what this means, but I typed in Kajirus and it says the phage, the phrase low Kajirus is said to mean I am a slave boy.

Silk slaves are generally despised by free men on gore and their type of slavery is often considered to be rather unnatural. You did better than me because I read Kajira. It's a suburb of southern Sydney in the state of New South Wales, Australia. It's K-A-J-I-R-A. And this says you're a female slave or slave girl in John Newman Gore's novel or in John Norman's Gore novel. So this is all about a novel series and it gets a whole section in the role.

Wow. That must be popular. So like a Gore novel. Are you saying that like this is someone that is... I hope it's not Gore. Gore. So like Gore is this fantasy planet where there are slave boys and slave girls and a lot of people like i assume this is an entire book about sexual slaves well i thought

you made gores in like g-o-r-e is like uh i want to be a slave and then chop my toes off with like a fucking gun i want to be a slave and I want it to be messy. I want to be a slave. I want it nice. Like a proper Egyptian slave. Like they cut my hands off and I'm like fucking still pushing stone blocks. Like that's how I want to get off. Yeah, to answer your question, like FetLife is the perfect place. And then like through FetLife, you can find all sorts of like local communities where like Bdsm communities or like whatever you're actually into

you know there'll be like a whole community of people who are also into it there it's like reddit for sex you know how like oh yeah i'm really into woodworking and look here are here's 30 000 more people who are gonna really love these dowels i made look i built a slavery stock you know and i can throw tomatoes at you in the public. Actually. Yeah. The two overlap. You can, you can build some bondage furniture with your woodworking passion and show it off on fat life. It would,

it could totally overlap. Has anyone stuck their dick in a saw stop yet? I want video. Oh my God. I've seen people do a, I've seen people do a video. I've seen people do like hot dogs and, and actual hands.

Yeah. I've seen a dick going. I want to see how confident you are in your equipment. Stick your and actual hands. Yeah. I've seen a dick going. I want to see how confident you are in your equipment. Stick your dick in it. No, thank you. That'd be funny. They're, like, expensive, though. I have one.

Go and stick your dick in it. I really like my dick the way it is. Yeah. Not smart. You ever got, like, a little bit of extra foreskin you could give away? None of us do. We're in America. America. America.

This guy says, does Kyle regret getting Woody into Tarkov? And as a result, we all have to listen to Woody. Oh, fuck this guy. Yes, first of all, fuck you, fuck you. we talk about the things we are passionate about so even if you're not into the thing that we're into i think that we often provide

some entertainment by talking by being passionate about a subject i like hearing woody talk about his woodworking for example like back in the day i have no interest in fucking woodwork and i like hearing him talk about his paramotor stuff because he's passionate about it and like it means something to him and we can often segue that into something that maybe is more interesting to any any one of us in particular you know so i'm glad i got him into tarkov like here's the thing i'm glad i got woody into tarkov because woody hadn't really been into gaming for years before i got him into tarkov and this you wouldn't have any woody streams if i hadn't gotten woody into tarkov most likely because he's got a game that he's passionate about that he grinds that he loves and that he's able to share with the whole community when he streams it so

no no i'm really glad i did i'm glad that he likes the game it's a great game thank you it must be how you. That's debatable. I'm not decided yet. It's a good game. Are you really eager? I wonder if it is the evolution for Battle Royale

that has me curious. Battle Royale made the whole shooter genre matter a little more. You get kicked out. It's what you were trying to do, etc. Something like Tarkov, I don't know, it just sort of made the whole shooter genre matter a little more, right? Because you get kicked out. It's what you were trying to do, et cetera. Something like Tarkov, a looter shooter, dying, the consequences are far greater than they are in Battle Royale. Like you get kicked back. You've lost some progress, some wealth.

It matters in a way that is so much greater than COD and even greater than a Battle Royale. that is so much greater than cod and even greater than a battle royale it could it be that an escape for tarkov knockoff or the next step will be in that genre instead of battle royale it wouldn't surprise me if someone did escape from tarkov like you look at uh look at cod the most recent uh cod modern warfare so much of the shit that they did in that game felt like it came from tarkov with like like weapon modifications multiple scopes and stuff like that this is this existed in real life for years and years and they just never bothered to put it in video games even though they're like well-known like like a leopold hammer scope is like a it's like a well-known thing that i mean they've stopped producing it now because it's so old and no one ever bothered to use it.

And then Tarkov puts it in the game. And then, well, I mean, it was probably in DayZ mods first. Tarkov puts it in the game and then COD's like, oh, that's popular. Let's do that. So... Yeah. Do you play much Call of Duty at all or never?

Oh, I play... I have played the newest ones. I didn't't they're okay i i just sort of played them a little bit i had like a friendly tournament with some australian ones and it was like yeah it's good like i get i get why people like it but i i think that the main thing that draws me to gaming and why i like shit like dark souls and stuff like that is that you need to feel a sense of loss to feel a sense of like winning and and high and if you don't have that and it just doesn't matter that you die then you can get dopamine release from like dropping a 50 bomb in in a a cod match but there's only so many times you can do that before it's meaningless uh with tarkov it's always you're losing a kit you're always frustrated yeah there has to be

something to lose there has to be something to lose and and something to gain for a game to be fun for me anymore um there there are games that are fun like even when we were playing vermentide it was really your time that was invested like we weren't losing gear but like there was the challenge of like trying a harder difficulty and the time that was being expended and perhaps lost if we failed halfway through a mission like there's got to be something lost that's where i was headed with the like is is tarkov the next thing after battle Royales? I don't know. Every game

feels like a baby game to me now. We played that game. What was the... It was a horror game. Dead by Daylight? That seemed like such a simple little mini game coming from the other ones.

It's fun. I guess it's more of a player interaction type game but everything seems like a simple mini game compared that was lame i didn't like that at all um i don't like the potential to be cool though it had like the idea is interesting i like the idea of like the of the serial killers being part of it, but it's so repetitive. After two hours of playing it, I never want to play it again. I will never play it again. Whereas I haven't played Tarkov in a year, but I could see myself going back to it the same way I go back to Rust occasionally

and get addicted again like I am right now. I think Tarkov and oddly Minecraft are one of those games where people set it down and then it sucks them back in over time i think like the the perfect game like if someone's listening to this they're like i want to make a perfect game like all you'd have to do i mean oh it's so easy coding so easy but parkov but like private servers uh private servers for tarkov on like a daisy style map where the traders are on the map and you can extract with like a helicopter and go back to your stash. That'd be fucking amazing.

You have your stash and then you deploy onto the map in a general sector. With 30 day wives. Yeah, yeah. That's for the community servers. You just set up the community servers however you want. You chuck VoIP in there, you have like servers that are modded by

your admins, and they can just kick wankers and hackers and stuff. Hackers is a massive problem in Tarkov, but it's not a problem in DayZ, because you have dedicated mods that the really good servers just ban them instantly, so you don't have to worry about that. Yeah, Rust is very similar. So it's like,

that would be the perfect game for me. I don't think that they would very similar so it's like that would be the perfect game for me does tarkov got there i don't think that they would do that though does tarkov still have hacker problems not really as much anymore to be honest i i think i encountered the first one i've seen in like a long time yesterday and i'm not even like he was actually he's pretty blatant but yeah they're not as bad anymore yeah i never see blatant hackers i sometimes get a stream sniper um but uh and then sometimes you get one tapped in the face but maybe the player just had good aim that's the thing that talk of you can't even really tell

sometimes because the desync on the server is just so bad that it's like i that guy was already aiming at me and shooting before i even saw him uh yeah on my screen because the third person like uh update but his location on my screen is just fucking like two seconds behind yeah that's one thing about rust you can instantly tell when someone is cheating because like gunplay is so hard to begin with that like I don't know you could play for 30 hours and you'll never just like insta die You'll almost never insta die unless like close range fights are different but like at medium long range It's kind of a prolonged fight Yeah, like when someone's cheating and you just get turned off like a light switch,

you're just like, Oh, okay. Cheater, instant cheater. And you're just in the chat to an admin on, on the light. When I usually play on servers that have dedicated discord.

So I, and I can just hop in with an admin and be like, Hey, this guy, this quadrant fly out and they'll fly over like invisible. And they'll just start spectating this guy and watch this guy. And they'll ban them, ban all their friends for hacker association,

and then blow their whole base up and then all their loot's laying on the ground. It's almost profitable to be in a server with a hacker. That's pretty good. Yeah. WoodyCraft had that same thing. People would report a guy and we'd just teleport to them invisibly and watch them for a bit, hoping to catch them.

Yeah. Yeah. People do it. Go ahead. I know you got ads. Yeah. Before we jump into the next thing, I'm sure you guys will have prepared when we're done here.

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So there you go. Get some. Wonderful sponsors. Love to hear it. I just saw. You guys ever get hacked as internet people? Yes. Have you?

I've had a few people come in and put addresses in my chat and be like, haha, I know where you live. And I'm like, haha, you wasted $25 on Truthfinder, dumbass. Oh, they all know where I live. It's no secret. And yeah, I had a a guy i've talked about

this before but it was like it was right around christmas if it wasn't christmas day maybe it was the day after i'm um i'm at my in-law's house and uh my xbox account like I can't log in anymore. I'm banned for, it might've been like 9,999 years. And yeah, pretty long. And there's a message or something that I can read. I forget how they got a message to me, but they're like, Hey,

we hacked your account. Fuck you. So I wrote back to him and I'm trying to be like charming and like, just, I don't know, ask him to give me my account back. And, um, I'm like, Hey man, like, you know, you got my account. That must be pretty cool.

My password is not something you'd guess. It wasn't anything like that. They managed to use some sort of password recovery routine. Oh, and you know what? They, um, they, they hacked into my Netflix, found a credit card using those last four digits of the credit card called Microsoft, used that, my address, and some other things to confirm that they were me and they got my account. That's how they did it. Oh, okay.

So anyway, I was like, like, why did you do this? Like, did I do something to you? Did I upset you? And the reasoning was that my breath smelled like cum. So. Shut up. Fair enough. Yeah.

But eventually, there was this, the Microsoft head of security, I think his handle was B. And apparently, it's real prestige to have an Xbox login that's one letter. And I tweeted at B, and he didn't pay any attention to me. Then I asked my followers to tweet at B to help me. That initially made him super mad. And then he gave me a really long lecture, and he fixed my account. And I'm like, all right. He's super mad really yeah he was like now my

twitter feed is just filled with noise and your followers it was like i i'm like you read all your tweets like what are you new to twitter like nobody with any kind of profile sees every tweet that sent him or added at him um and he felt like I had just destroyed his feed, like I had committed some level of online violence against him by having people write him. And I don't know. I just endured the lecture and accepted the help. In the end, it was a good move.

Fix his security so that it wouldn't happen. Probably not the right thing to say. I'm trying to get a favor from this guy. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. He was the top guy who could make anything happen. I thought you meant you're trying to get another favor for him. As in, if I'm bagging him out right now,

then he'll probably get in trouble. Oh, no, no. Well, now it's all said and done. Hopefully it's harder to... Fuck that guy. He retired. Everybody go tweet at him again. I think he retired in part because

just dealing with cyber criminals all the time is an awful job. Oh, it sucks. They had a thing for him personally sometimes and he just... He either retired but he definitely quit Microsoft I've had so many people like threaten to come around to my house

and one dude from Germany it was just like endless like endless accounts he's like I'm gonna come to your house and fight you and I'm just like every time I'm like but I'm still waiting he just never showed up I'm like man I'll fucking you just never showed up i was like man i'll fucking like i i left my door open and everything and the guys just fucking never showed

yeah you had your dad remove the doors yeah it's like it was like it was like two years ago i'm still waiting on this motherfucker like i'm waiting on the northern nightmare i think that's his name to send me a contract he keeps telling me to sign the contract. Where's your contract, Northern Nightmare? Send your contract, baby. Let's see what you got. Woody, because it's our content on the Reddit, or this guy's, can we watch the Northern Nightmare?

Yeah. No, it shows me fighting poorly. I guess we could watch it if you really want to. It shows you fighting poorly. Oh, so I'm sparring with a professional fighter who is three times faster than me and he he grabbed all like my worst moments and made a montage out of it we can watch it can you link it no no i'm trying to find it i don't know where the video is kyle do your

contacts have that quickly i will ask if anyone has so yeah it's. This guy, he's kind of doing a professional wrestler type thing, and he wants to fight me, and he keeps telling me to sign the contract, but he hasn't sent one. So that's where that stands. Are you going to fight him? I mean, what if you have signed this contract, he rocks up, and he's like seven foot tall, weighs like 380 pounds.

I just Googled Northern Nightmare and Woody, and I found this 56 second video of a man wearing all black that's it that's it yeah yeah you guys are gonna love this okay um well there it is in my twitch chat asked me asking me all about the northern nightmare oh they ask me about it constantly all right so here i'm cute oh so what we Slush, is we all queue up at zero and then I'll say one, two, three, play. And the impetus of this is a different $50 patron challenged Woody

to a fight and Woody was like, there's no fucking way. I'll trash you. I'll break your orbital bones. I'll drop down with elbow. In response to that, this totally separate guy, the Northern Nightmare. He's got like a a thousand views as well. Ready, set,

play. It's too quiet. Hey, No audio quality. I can hardly hear it Fuck are these lunch lady arms? Yeah Play some more fucking Dark Ops. Play some more locationals. Thanks. When he took the glasses off, his eyes were so wide apart like he did the sloth. Yeah.

Funniest part to me. He clearly stretched out the entire thing in order to fit the glasses into the sloth. So he can't see anything the whole time. I'd wear glasses too if I was this deformed fuck looking like that cartoon Arnold I accept your challenge send the contract send the contract don't talk about

sign it until you've sent it there it is well that's just silly no no I'm sure he's working on a draft that was some pretty funny stuff he said something about lunch lady arms and he's doing some sort of cholo accent like like what if that's snow what if that's actually snow he had i think he trains i don't know either he got access to sparring gloves that an mma fighter

would wear and he might have had mma pants on too i didn't look do you have board shorts on of some sort i like that he's gone to the trouble of uh like actual paper printing out a uh he's like he's he's spliced in images of you missing punches on a guy yeah but he hasn't bothered he could have just spliced in a picture but he's actually printed that out and yeah and like and no coloring in the printer yeah it runs out like three lines in like it's got like a yellow line and then a green line and then it's all in black and white he ran out of color he ran out of coloring that guy i was sparring with it's a professional fighter and he's way he's smaller than me but he's way faster he knew what i was going to do before i did it and what he he didn't really show the leg kicks but he was peppering me

with leg kicks and uh once that happened i guess it was all i could think about and i did even worse and whatever it's uh you know what this is at the stage for is the reveal of your true foe he's gonna be the southern nightmare 6 foot 11 he's gonna weigh 410 pounds we gotta have someone with those dimensions I know someone with those exact dimensions he's not 6'11 though he says he is

I don't understand 6'11 411 pounds that is an enormous human that'd be like the mountain like literally like that guy probably bigger than that guy but, literally. Like that guy. Probably bigger than that guy. Nobody's bigger than that guy.

Can we get the Northern Nightmare to fight the mountain? I don't think we're going to get the Northern Nightmare to fight anybody. That's pretty funny though. That's a pretty funny video. That takes me back to old school COD videos of degenerates in the woods tackling

trees and shit. I haven't seen anything like this in a while. Unforgivable series, remember that? Unforgivable series. The black guy in the woods ranting about funny things. I don't recall. Do you remember the one in the lobby

where that guy is like, I'm going to come to your house and take you hostage I'm going to deprive you of the water And the only thing you'll have to drink will be the sweat from my balls If you're lucky I'll come in your mouth He's just in like Cold lobbies and then like freaks these kids out He's like He's got like the

Something warlord or something Oh no It wasn't Jimmy K I jimmy k was it uh i don't know it was fun they're fucking hilarious though but like he comes back with their like like a dress and shit like that and tells them where he's gonna find him and stuff and then does this like i think it's called the ugandan warlord or something like that but he yeah he scares their shit and they're like and they're like i'm sorry i didn't mean so he's like yeah you apologize that's right duty yeah it you apologize. That's right.

That's me in full duty. Yeah, just making fun of him. Yeah, I don't think it is Kimmy J. Kimmy J was number one best commentator in Vietnam. Yes. And I don't even think that he was even Asian. He was not. No.

Wait, he wasn't even Asian? Shocked. No. At the time. I knew that the accent was fake, but I thought that he was Asian. Was that him in the pictures? No. No, no. Do you know who it was? That was an

Asian man. Who was in the pictures or who he actually was? Well, both now that you mention it. The guy in the photo is like a stock photo of an Asian man sitting in a chair, very fat, wearing a bra. Okay. And the guy doing the commentary? I've spoken to him. I've heard his real voice, but I don't remember who it actually was.

Oh, it wasn't like, I don't know. Someone well-known for something else. It wasn't like X-Cal in disguise or anything, no. Right. Well, if it was X-Cal, it would have been Asian. That's true. That's true. It was me the whole time. Hmm. Not really. No. If I learned't I if I learned

I forgot it's been so long ago who that actually was yeah it's been a very long time I remember one point like he was looking into getting one of those really realistic face masks made that look that make you to make him look like he was that Asian man

so he could do like videos he's got xanthan gum painted on his eyelid an australian guy that does that he's uh i suppose he called uh slick slick flow he wears a like one of those like movie quality like old man masks while he streams i have no fucking idea how he does it it must be so sweaty and he just like he just dropped like a seven hour stream of him playing cod with this like fucking latex bag over his head yeah i did that i think i only streamed for like it was like four hours wearing an owl mascot costume like a legit one and like every time i would take my my the helmet off of it effectively it like i look like cartman when he takes off the Osimo head,

and he's just so sweaty and so disgusting. It was awful. Yeah, my bad. And it's like, as you're wearing it, it's like, I'm never going to wash this. I'm going to wash this owl costume. It would just ruin my dryer and washer, probably. We've still got a lot of years to use it on FetLife, man.

I might be sitting around here somewhere I don't know where my owl head is at did the standard owl costume fit on the head or like did you have to modify the owl head in any way to did you have to grease your skull

I think I just ordered like the double XL overall of everything yeah but it was like the head was one size fits all there's more than one size of head i had to cut out the eye holes of it yeah it was you know a good use of 90 i think actually everybody enjoyed it i i bet it increased donations by that much oh i'm sure i'm sure at least dressing up is so much fun do you dress up much ever so i've had a few so when uh i've been banned from twitch twice uh suspended let me let me explain my reasons first yeah like people don't think i was just like

going on a racist tirade or something like that. The first time I got a text-to-speech donation of someone that just said this super racist stuff, and so I opened up my PayPal and I was like, here you go, boys, and just put his full name and email address in my chat. And I was like, I think that's fair.

And then they banned me for a week for revealing his private information, which I was like, he sent that to me. But I gave rules the rules. Only a week. That's surprising. And so I came back as a convict, as the returning Australian convict, dressed up as like full on stripes and everything. And the second time I got banned for drinking too much

on stream i came back as um as slush reborn and i dressed up as uh jesus christ and uh had like one of those like vr like uh like the augmented reality halo things for the entire stream on the green screen so i did an entire stream as jesus why did they just for getting too drunk and apparently it was uh apparently it was what did they say dangerous use of alcohol and i was like i'm australian yeah they should have unbanned you immediately like honestly like after i finished the stream i just walked out to my fucking couch and just passed out on my couch it's like exactly the same thing so yeah but apparently uh too much how long was that one another week that was that was a week as well yeah i think they were being racist right they don't understand the culture that you come from well exactly i think

that's just that's just uh racist towards australians really it's not fresh this is what we do do they like amp up the the like not threat but like the severity of it and their emails to you where they're like this is the second time you got you fucked us you know we're banning you on like a so you get i think you get a certain amount of strikes within a certain amount of time so it's like if you get one and then it's like a year apart then it doesn't matter but if you get like one and you get like two in six months and it's like okay this is your second in six months then it's like we're in rent this up to a month and they sort of like crank it up a bit but it's like most of those were like super far apart i think like almost two years apart and uh they were sort of

like i was they i think that the biggest ones they give are for like when you're saying something like racist or homophobic and they're just like okay that's like blatantly against tos and you're just like kining against someone or like telling someone to kill themselves or some shit and they're just like okay fuck off and they'll just ban you for a month like straight away so that's what i got banned for it was it it was actually just a week and there's a little more to it i so in our community it's a bit of a meme uh wings of redemption did a 1v1 with syndicate and he lost and i laughed and i said that fucking sucks and he didn't understand he said no i don't fucking suck and uh i think then i think then i laughed

and he said yeah keep laughing you fucking faggot is what he said so anyway that is like a response now to you're doing poorly in the game I'm playing I'm streaming and my chat is like yeah keep laughing you fucking maggot or so so I read it as such and I got banned for a week. Can't say that. For an innocent mistake. They don't understand. It wasn't... Malicious. Yeah, I wasn't trying to take a run at gay people.

That's not my thing. I was quoting my friend. Yeah. You know? That's what he said. I know someone else has been banned for that and i copped a i think a a week i don't know what it was no actually i think it was more because it was like the it was like directed at someone but they weren't even on their own stream

they were on someone else's stream in a discord and playing with and they called someone else the uh well the maggot and then they got banned for like a month i think damn yeah yeah a month that's a lot yeah it's a long time i wonder how destiny's doing i look forward to having him back on the show yeah i wanted to get all the details of what actually happened because he's still streaming all the time. But like, yeah, that little purple partner icon is no longer there. So they did. I wonder if they're ever going to let him get it back or if it's some probational thing. I don't know. I don't know either.

What? We don't know. He got departnered. And OK, before I tell the story, my Twitch chat is the least reliable source in the world. Amongst. Second. Okay, there's Taylor's chat. So that's where I heard it from. And what they said was that

Destiny, he talks about politics a lot on his stream. That's like some of the things he's really known for. And he was not in favor of the riots, right? There was rioting over racial inequality here in america and uh destiny wasn't a fan and he is rumored to have said something along the lines of he was okay with cars plowing into the crowds and twitch heard that and they de-partnered him and you know went hard i don't know if there were any previous offenses that weighed into their decision or not but that was you can get that stuff off the twitch platform

though like there was a that uh just chatting streamer jenna uh the chick she got um she was saying a bunch of stuff in like discords like uh calling people bags and like all these other random stuff and like and someone sent the screenshots to twitch and they departmented her so it's like it could be something they did outside of twitch but it's like i have i i have no idea this is all just woody making stuff up so don't take this as a thing but it's my theory that dr disrespect did something over discord that uh that got him banned from twitch no one's talking about what it was dr disrespect claims that he doesn't know what it is but when all the dust settled when all the dust settled he's still banned from discord and twitch what did you say about that slush do you say you know something about i i highly doubt he doesn't know what that is that's oh that's me he he knows exactly he knows exactly what that is

it's just like it's probably like the second he got it because he he would have been on a contract similar to like what i'm on it would be like obviously for a much much higher number maybe different you know i'm sorry but the um yeah like he's uh he probably has different like things in it but if he got banned they would have they have to notify him like why he's been banned because it's like they can't just like stop paying him and ban him from the thing and then just be like just ghost him like it's not a it's not it's not an ex-boyfriend like you can't just be like like you gotta i agree i think it's a clue that he's still banned from discord too like he had a discord partnered server or something and yeah that's that's gone

um so that's that's why i took that as a clue and like you said i i bet he has a good idea of what caused them to separate and um i bet i bet everyone wishes it didn't happen you know the doctor disrespect is one of the kings of live streaming even even post ban he seems to be he's i just checked his channel he's doing tremendous on youtube my my thing is like it's a lot of people are like they're like jumping on they're like oh fuck him he's gone or they're like oh no you should be back and stuff like that it's like i ain't taking a stance on that shit so i know what he did like he could have done fucking anything like i don't i have no idea what that motherfucker did i'm not defending or going against him until i know what happened that's fair yeah yeah i'll be no one ever will it would have come out yeah

yeah twitch has a standard policy of not saying why they ban someone they never do and uh i think a lot of people saw that twitch didn't explain why Dr. Disrespect was banned as fishy, but it's not fishy. If anything, that's to the streamer's benefit. If Twitch went out and was like, you know, Slush Puppy, look at this photo of him passed out on the

couch from drinking. He'd be like, I wouldn't rather you just keep on the hush-hush about the details. But Dr. Disrespect is like like i demand they tell me uh you know you know yeah that's the thing it's like with it with a character streamer like dr disrespect and like he has like i don't personally watch him and like he but he has like his production quality is second to none for like live uh content creation it's like the

character thing it's like where do you know where the character stops and uh where like whatever his name is fucking guy starts i think it is guy beam or something so it's like where where do you know like is he just is that just a is that just a character thing is that i'm actually wanting to know so you don't really know where you stand with that it's like it's how do you like it you know honestly it's probably just something to do with like with these with these misses like it was the fucking first time he took a break and he was just like yeah i'm taking a break because i i have one of my mods or whatever and then that came that came out and then they were just like okay this was super sexual and we don't like it and so they banned him they just took it as a chance to ban him so it could be it could be

yeah i like i said i just guessed so yeah yeah this is just a guess yeah not i have no idea right right and i like your stance of uh yeah i'll tell you how i come down on this decision when i know something about the why yeah more than nothing at all yeah yeah like a good come like i'll compliment him where it's due like he's an awesome content creator and like he was he exploded super quickly and became like incredibly famous overnight because of his awesome production quality but i don't know him as a person so how the hell am i supposed to judge him like it works a little better on twitch so back in the youtube days he had that same content same character i mean to say and uh to say he did poorly would be overstating and he did fine but um there were other people that did much better i mean the ex cows the ex

jaws heck me you know of that time were uh you know we're just much more popular on youtube but then it went to live streaming yeah that's his format man like that that's where that's where he crushes it i'm just like my like not gonna say oh yeah i'm a famous doctor disrespect or whatever but i suck at youtube like i i have an editor i don't do any of my own youtube because my attempts at YouTube have been poor and like most often very very shit amount of views and not really much support but Twitch when I can just sit there and talk to people and just like relay with them then that's just it just works for me so definitely know how it feels but that's just like my entire stream is just burning the shit

out of my chat. I mean, I was never very big on YouTube or successful or anything, but comparatively my Twitch is way more successful than that ever was. This is a way better format for me and the way I like to do shit anyway. Just hopping on and riffing and joking around

with people. Making stuff up yeah exactly yeah do you tell the do you tell the truth of everything in your of everything about your life do you reveal like anything people want to know no definitely not yeah nothing that would like get someone close to me revealed or something not like personal information but do you ever like just like big up shit just for the sake of telling the joke or whatever big up shit what do you have in mind just like make just like make shit up because like i don't like like you look at like going back to the doctor disrespect stuff like his whole thing is like the fake like character stuff

do you ever think it's just like would it be worth like just making up crap that i haven't done and it's just funny and then just be like yeah let's run with it who cares like maybe i'll start doing that more yeah maybe i'll start trying to get my twitch audience with a seinfeld story that'll be too yeah i like that idea i met this girl and she said that her name was like a female body part and i was just stumped by it delores what was her name was it delores oris yeah because when he goes out at the end what's her name Mulva yeah Dr. Distrubect really dedicated to the character

that one character I just like doing silly voices not really committing to a whole character thing yeah yeah I just sort of talk shit about shit that i've done and then it's like can i be bothered if i'm like i can make stuff up but then it's like then i have to remember it and then it's like that's a lot of effort it's like if i run with a character that he's gonna have a whole backstory yeah i do have like a sort of uh backstory that like i think that some people

actually believe that my uh wife has a boyfriend derrick so it's been going for a while and apparently he's really cool because he lets me play the xbox in the lounge room sometimes i think 99 of people know that i'm just fucking around but i think there's a few people that are like ah no dererek is just getting down in the next room yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm just listening to fuck while i'm streaming damn that guy derek sounds so cool can we get him on next time yeah yeah this whole thing that he like uh he's really nice to me because he's like he's like oh yeah no derek's amazing like he organizes all of my stuff he pays on my bills for me and stuff like it's just really great he just like buys me a can of beer and my food for me and looks after all the money stuff but i don't even have to like i don't even see it i didn't even log into the bank account stuff

every once in a while i my subscription number goes down he gets disappointed in me and he hits me but it's for my own good i just bring money my brain was bad yeah yeah he loves me he's hitting me yeah he is about me like exactly yeah yeah yeah i just uh against the world out there dennis is exactly in that situation i was looking at one of the in the uh in the 50 discord someone just linked the video i guess i don't know how new it is because i don't keep up with politics but it's trump um clearly christmas time and very recent talking about the, the stimulus bill that Congress passed and he's going through it for like five minutes.

He's like a hundred million for fish hatcheries. Like, like he goes through it, like, like all the like things that are in there that have nothing to do with like giving people money. And essentially he says, Congress needs to go back and they need to sign a bill without

all this junk in it and i'll sign that bill or the next administration can handle it and maybe i'll be the next administration until the last second i loved all of it like i know right i also i was like i'm sitting over here and i watched this like five minute video and i'm just like making a lot of sense i don't care how many fish like one there was like several million to like count the fish in the gulf count some fish in the gulf of mexico and then there was something about hatcheries and there was there was a lot of fish related stuff there must have been some senator who's like big in the fish industry i don't know and then but you guys think about the copyright stuff that was snuck in through that as well

i saw that like i did the basic math and saw they had a 900 billion dollar bill and then 600 times a times like however many americans only came to like 300 million so like 600 million it's like a 705 billion dollar swing between what it because like the like like it's funny because like usually there's a bunch of strife online where people are like no you're so i fucking said like this released and every single person i've seen from every side of the aisle that isn't like you know a staffer for someone who like one of the congress people who wrote this it's like this is fucking retarded this sucks what was it they give 135 million to burma 85 million to cambodia 130 million to nepal 500 million to israel 700 million to sudan 1.4 billion to the asia reassurance initiative act there's so much foreign aid. AOC had a complaint.

She says, this is why Congress needs to actually hide this package before voting on it. Members of Congress haven't read this bill. It's over 5,000 pages and we have to expect a vote in two hours. Cool. And then what she's fussing about

is the COVID-19 stimulus bill would make illegal streaming a felony. THR.CN. Do you guys know what this is? Illegal streaming becomes a felony? Yeah. Apparently they're, yeah, there's like $30,000 fines for like fucking reusing copyrighted music and shit like that. And, uh, like cracking down on copyright. Yeah. So that's what you were referring to. Good luck catching me in Australia, bonza. So, yeah, I don't know.

I also, to Trump's credit, I'll start praising him now that he's out. I don't know that another president would have refused to play the game like this. Any other president in my lifetime, I think, would have just signed it. This is the kind of bill you can't fight back against it's a covid stimulus bill feels like it's like at a point where it's like okay we need something and everyone's just like just go and

then uh and then it's like oh let's take a whole bunch of shit in and then it's just like sign it and then he was the only one who was like yeah I've heard it called like a Christmas tree ornament bill right so they're like you know what I think we should make having sex with three year olds illegal okay you have to vote for this if you don't vote for this every ad your opposition runs next election cycle is going to say

this guy voted against child pedophilia or for it I guess in any case yeah so you have to vote for it. So what do they do? They hang their own little Christmas ornament on it in terms of fish hatcheries. And someone else makes you pay $30,000 for streaming The Mandalorian. And then, you know, it can be pork.

It can be pet laws. It can be favors to some industry. And then you have Trump on there saying he doesn't want any part of it. This says, like, Mr. Medeker was going through it. and he always goes through and posts funny stuff from stuff like this. And he found somewhere where it says that of the funds appropriated under Title III of this act that are made available for assistance for Pakistan, not less than 15 million shall be made available for democracy programs and not less than 10 million shall be made available for gender programs 10 million dollars mandatory bare minimum for gender programs in pakistan what are we doing like this is supposed to be helping americans get through a pandemic can you help me follow it are there is it gender programs and pakistan or gender

programs in pakistan in pakistan pakistani gender program this is a subsection of the hundreds of millions that pakistan is getting now does a gender program mean that like girls get to go to school or i don't know there's 4.4 million dollars in here for former presidents awesome great oh you know what now he'll sign it until we didn't get to the end it gets pretty fucking nice at the end you know

I didn't see that part coming you don't get that whole 4 million Donald oh well you definitely gotta go back to the drawing board another small four million dollar loan from the american government why should sudan get what i could easily have myself 700 million to sudan what has sudan done for us lately that's how i feel about israel what we get them every year Are they even our friends? No! Israel!

That's how I- Nah, Israel- America just uses Israel as a place to just park missile launching places. They give us billions of dollars. I don't know why you guys don't just buy it. Like, why doesn't America just buy Israel? We tried that with Greenland, it was very embarrassing. You already paid for it. You've already got like the iron- they don't have like the fucking iron dome defense there and defense there and they could just be like yeah we'll turn this off and then the

guys are stripping oh sorry uh lebanon i'll just bomb the evolution out of you just hold them hostage or whatever they probably already do to be honest but i'm sorry that is just like so everything that i just said is factually incorrect and i have no actually incorrect and i have no idea oh that's how we do it stop you never ever yeah israel is like america's best ally ever and i'm like why how what do they do that's out there are dependent is what they are england is our best ally yeah i think that is like what they are though they. They are just legitimately a foothold and a beach landing point in the Middle East should America go to war with Russia. That's like all China. That's like all they are.

It's just a place for America to land aircraft carriers and fucking start shooting up people. You sound like a person that knows geography. Is Israel that close to Russia or China? Well, Israel is underneath Turkey and Syria. geography is israel that close to russia or china well israel israel is under the turkey in syria and syria is apparently like they say like they wouldn't admit it but there's like lots of people that would say that syria is backed by the russian government and uh uh fucking assad is president because of his russian uh backing we already have dozens of missiles and military bases and nations way closer to Russia and China than Israel.

You know, that's it. But that's a strategic one in the like the Middle East, because it's like in between it's it's like a Mediterranean landing zone. Like they don't have America doesn't have another Mediterranean landing zone that they just fucking own. Like they pretty much just didn't like, they just pretty much invented Israel after World War II. And then we're just like,

bam, let's play some. Well, we can use Egypt because we just gave Egypt $1.3 billion in this. Yeah. Saudi Arabia is always happy to work with us. Yeah. Oh,

sometimes they kick back. They, they kick back though. They, they, they like fucking, fucking, yeah, we'll buy shit off you, but fuck you. I don't care what country it is.

If it's not America and they're getting money in this, we've got to be tightening those purse strings. That's not what this is about. What was it? Months and months of, I don't know if we can financially deal with 1,200 times this many Americans. What even is that? It's incalculable. Actually, we have enough money to just make it for like $3,500 per American.

But you can go ahead and suck my cock. You're going to get $600. And all of these foreign nations and all these pork spending nonsense, that's going to get your tax dollars. It's like a slap in the face. And there's nothing we can do about it. $600 is like hilariously shit. It's like nine months

some people have been unemployed and it's like, here you go, here's... Hey, that's a PS5 for every American. You sent it straight to Japan. Apparently, yeah. That's like Stalin's plan, man. We'll get a camera and television in every home. And once

we made them, we just sell them elsewhere. And then you go to Gulag. Apparently, Trump just said that he is not signing it if it's less than $2,000 a person. Oh, I read that he wanted to say that a few days ago. And his aides and advisors talked him out of that. It leaked. It's still not enough. $2,000? Yeah. We're not getting any of that. It leaked. That's still not enough. $2,000?

Yeah. We don't get any of that money, do we? No, none of us are getting any of it because we're all out of that income bracket. People need more help than $600. So how would you give out the money? I've been thinking about this. There's a couple ways to give out money. My least favorite way is to give it to big companies and then hope that they distribute it properly.

Right. That way I give the thumbs down. Trickle down economics. Yeah. Yeah. That's the American way. But. All right.

So let's take that and agree that giving it to big companies and that's not cool. Wait. Didn't Disney got like $140 million or something in that bill? They made the Mandalorian. Keep it up. Sounds low, Slush. I don't know. The Mandalorian pretty dope. Let's The Mandalorian. Keep it up. Sounds low, Slush. I don't know.

The Mandalorian, pretty dope. Let's get more. We get a couple more episodes. Add in the sex scene. $170 million. Done. Let's do it. This is smart. Lawrence is not Gina Carano.

You guys are talking my language. Shit. Does The Mandalorian wear the costume during the sex scene i don't want him i don't pedro pascal the fuck i want i want maybe i want he was good in game of thrones yeah yeah but you just do you know what i've noticed about americans is i always know the name of actors and i'm already i'm always like who the fuck are you talking about we are good at that our country right at that you know we're good at it

nah he's a great actor yeah I want I want someone to insert baby Yoda into a vagina like the whole of a human vagina he's pretty big right we'd want him in some sort of alien vagina like it could be one of those ladies

that has, like, the two, like, tentacle horns that come off of their head and they kind of drape around their shoulders, whatever those are. What about, like, a Jedi person? A Mandalorian themed remake of a Serbian film. Now, I don't care for that.

I don't know what a Serbian film is. It's a very bad with with a terrible scene yeah it's it's it's uh it's rough stuff what would you guys buy with six hundred dollars i mean i don't know there's nothing that i like like do i i don't understand that i the the circumstance like it i only have 600 or i have 600 extra that i have to spend right yes i'm giving you 600 and asking you to blow it you don't have to blow it in one store one day just like hey kyle here's 600 at the end of the month i want to make sure it's gone what are you going to get i don't know i'll buy i'll buy a very expensive pair of shoes, I guess hmm

I'll buy a sight for my shotgun. I need a new sight for my shotgun. That's it. A $600 sight for a shotgun? Yeah, like something like nice. Like an LCO Nice red dot or something. Taylor. I just don't want to vlog everyone and skate target shooting. You're given $600 in stimulus money, and 30 days from now I want it gone.

What are you going to buy? Hmm. 60 more Carhartt t-shirts. Not anymore. They fixed that listing. I told you I wouldn't be able to get that many. Shucks. I could get that many. Shucks.

I could get 35 more. I just bought that leg curl and leg extension machine for like $480. And so I would have used it on that. And then like probably $120 on... God, I don't have a lot of expenses that I like. I like going out to eat, which you can't do much anymore and lifting equipment and I'm pretty much packed out of room in my basement gym. There's just nowhere else for stuff

to go now that this like extension thing so maybe like a couple extra plates so I can put one on the back of it just to live there and keep it stable. That's about all I can think of because I don't have a lot of other. I could take some of that money and start buying magic cards and match the Gathering Arena, but that $600 would not get me far enough. Next month I'll be spending

hundreds more and then hundreds more. It's like buying... I'd get just $600 of meth and stop there. Yeah. $600 of the world's finest heroin. Is that not that much? Well, however long I get. I don't know.

My tolerance is zero. Yeah, you'd probably rather. That'll get you an A. You could definitely OD. Oh, yeah, you could kill yourself with $600 worth of heroin for sure. I mean, it would be pretty shitty heroin if I couldn't.

If it was like, I bought $600 worth of heroin and they're like, just do it all, man. I'd be like, this is... Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. i'd probably buy some clothes with it like i'd buy a nice pair of shoes or a nice coat um but like idea yeah like you get a really nice cap at 600 bucks yeah yeah um you get one of those fancy p coats that they wear in like the peaky blinders yeah one of the hats i can imagine you in something uh like five fur perhaps probably

not real fur for 600 bucks carl but like something maybe one maybe one of those like military jackets like a bane hat that had the big fur collar yeah yeah that'd be really good in cold climates yeah yeah that's a good idea one of those bean coats we're talking about this with my chat the other day and they were like oh what would you do to shave your beard off or shave your head or or whatever and i was like oh we could do like a we could do a sub goal or whatever or like a donation goal and they're like oh how much would you want to shave your beard off and i'm just like oh well i don't know i can't set a number and they're like oh is there something you want to buy and i'm like dude all i do is sit in front of my fucking

computer and i have a uh and vape and uh and and play tarkov i have i own tarkov i have a i have a fucking computer sponsor i mean unless you want to come here and wipe my ass there's nothing else you can do for me i don't want it like a dog food a pet supply sponsor something like that yeah exactly but it's like dog food is not that expensive don't have to buy me like buy me like fucking 80 years supply of dog food for me to shave my beard off so that would be like the least exciting thing to win a year like a 10 year supply a lifetime supply of dog food it's like damn prorated over in an 80 year lifetime i'm saving dozens of dollars a year there you got 600 bucks gone i'll get the classic sheep spit sheepskin b3 bomber jacket with detachable

hood this would have been perfect for my flight simulator stream what's funny is when you go from like the brown one is on a white guy when you go to black it's on a black guy. Well, they're trying to have a little diversity in the photo. Damn, if I buy this $595 jacket, do you think I'll be as good looking as the guy in the photo? I don't think you'll be even close to as good because that's a handsome man. You think he's handsome?

Let me show you the first coat I was looking at. This guy is so strikingly handsome. It's like Overland models are the best looking men on the planet, apparently. Look the this guy is so strikingly handsome it's like overland models are the best looking men on the planet apparently look at this guy that's the guy i was looking at yeah oh i did the same thing twice my bad girl yeah i didn't do that i meant this if we're taking uh select size uh heteroflexible on this blacker i can yeah yeah we're in heteroflexible on this bloke, I reckon. Yeah, we're in heteroflexible territory. Look at this fella.

I think we're in homoflexible territory with this guy. That guy looks like a Ken doll. He looks like a Ken doll. You know, I don't trust video, and I trust still shots even less. But then if you go to the secondary model, he looks awful. He's not an attractive man at awful. Like, he's just,

he's not an attractive man at all to me. Really? He's attractive, but... That hairline. I reckon he'd smash pussy. Yeah, maybe so. I reckon he'd struggle. That jacket's not gonna help him, though. Yeah. Even at $1,500,

that jacket is not gonna get the job done done yeah you know what he looks like uh he looks like someone that just like what like a skinner and tanner that just crawled out of the fucking bush in like the 1700s yeah what should i skip my part of the quiz so so naturally i'm going to steal jackie's money and claim it as my own i have $1,200 to blow what should i do but when i work on stuff more stuff a $1,200 wh blow, what should I do? More workout stuff. More people doing wings. You could sell a $1,200 whore in Las Vegas like I told that other guy. You could get a $600.

You spend it on whores. Or two $600 whores. I say that drug dealers with their stimulus packages are actually one of the most effective ways to get money back into the economy. Drug dealers are prostitutes because they blow money on ridiculous bullshit instantly because they of the way they live their lives they just get the drug money and then they just go buy like big flat screen tellies and televisions and stuff whereas like i don't know i'm probably speaking out of turn for you guys but i'm pretty sure we're all middle-class white people so we just like yeah just maybe he's like yeah i might i might just put that away just in case you know where i would just put it with the rest as they say like like you know it's not gonna

get spent or anything but i i keep dilling doling this money out i feel like when do i get a little bit of it like like like you don't get anything our taxes are gonna go up yay well stinks so maybe if we become like Sudanese citizens we can Oh food around and then claim benefits that we already paid to see Taylor I can one-up you gender-flexible Pakistani citizens that's where the money's going 10 million dollars how many of us can there be we'll end up splitting it four ways or is it there is it like fully just like teaching like in female schools because it's like that's what i asked too yeah i suspect that like they're trying to make like women not such a second-class citizen i'm just guessing like leadership in women schools or gender studies course i don't know i'm trying to find it again it doesn't matter but there's a

lot of examples of really yeah but that's not as funny the worst thing in the world to like fucking to put money into but it's like it feels like the americans that i talk to on a day-to-day basis like through streaming like i've had so many people to on a day-to-day basis like through streaming like i've had so many people come to me and just be like i don't know how i'm paying my rent next week lost my job covered no idea what the fuck to do i'm screwed yeah you know who should be paying for that pakistan let them pay for their own shit like not it's not our job what is wait what is this what What is this? What?

This says for carrying out titles two, three and. Jesus Christ, what is that? 17 of the PHS Act with respect to global health, 592 million, of which 128 million shall remain available through September 30th, 2022 for international HIV AIDS and 193 million shall remain available through September, 2023 for global disease detection and emergency response provided that funds may be used for purchase and insurance of official motor vehicles in foreign countries. Yeah. I, I like Trump's idea. Hey, let's bump it to 2000 and let's take out the silly stuff. Yeah, get rid of all the nonsense. It is nice to see so many people on every iota of the spectrum, seemingly politically, being like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is bullshit.

This should help Americans. This isn't about paying out global out you know global ransoms or bounties or fucking payments that's silly no it's not fair remember how it took them like i don't know six months of debating and going back and forth and figuring it out is this what they were doing were they like i'll give you fish fish hatcheries if you give me gender studies in pakistan they're doing that for for months and months until we arrived at this bullshit yeah it's like hundreds of people just like a lot getting lobbied like non-stop i was just like they surely like these senators were just like all right the coffers are

open what can i do for you and then they're just accepting meetings and they're just like i'll give you a ride in my private jet and you can my wife you gotta fund disney 140 million dollars though and it's like all right but chinese mandalorian season two some spin-offs and pictures of your wife so you're gonna have to pick some money out of the fish hatchery and maybe a little money from israel and sudan asian alliance i think the grim's dream from Fish Hatchery come and fuck your wife as well. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, sweet. Like the American people just getting all that money

for all this came from the direct payouts that Americans should have received. We had one during the GFC, or the Global Financial Crisis, or whatever you guys call it, when you guys tanked the... I'm blaming you guys personally tank the uh the mortgage market and it was like legitimately they were just like bang signed thousand bucks each and then they were just like everyone gets it and then they

just like doled it out and then it was just done it was like super quick and then they just did another one and it was just seemed like really like it's it's not it's like it's not the the best way to stimulate the economy but i mean there's worse ways to stimulate the economy i mean i would imagine it's better to to woody's point earlier do a ton of direct payments to people who are immediately going to be reinvesting and spending all that money trying to survive then be like oh man we're going to give uh we're going to give facebook and google and youtube and instagram and twitter all, oh man, we're going to give Facebook and Google and YouTube and Instagram and Twitter, all these big tech companies, they're going to get huge amounts of money.

Oh, but they're going to be hiring people. Oh, well, they're not going to be hiring Americans. They're going to be hiring Indians because of H-1B visas being able that they can't even negotiate their salaries so they get to work for cheaper. But no, you'll get it. It'll trickle down this time, this time. I didn't get to finish that thought. There's three things we could do. We could give it to big companies. It'll trickle down this time, this time. I didn't get to finish that thought. Like there's three things we could do, right?

We could give it to big companies, hope it trickles down. We could give it to everyone, like we're doing some now. Or we could do it to unemployment. We're doing some of that too. Okay, let's take big companies off the table. Everybody hates that. Fuck them. Unemployment.

Those are the people that really need it. The people that can't make their rent. The people that really need it. The people that can't make their rent, the people that, you know, part of me finds it a little yucky because like, I guess during the last global financial crisis, the one that Obama inherited, I had a neighbor that turned down job after job after job. And to his defense, they weren't great jobs. He didn't like them. I remember one was, what is an officer in a woman's prison called? Correctional officer, right? Maybe. Okay.

So it was that, right? He was going to work in a woman's prison. Kind of sucks. But I think he would have taken that job. What did he do before that? He worked for a printing company. And printing is a dying industry. So he found it difficult to get a new job in the printing industry.

And just sort of stayed unemployed for years. And I think he wouldn't have stayed unemployed for years if unemployment didn't last for years. But instead it was like, eh, you know, I don't have to work. I can live off unemployment. And unemployment's especially juicy right now because we hyped it up with these extra payments from the federal government. We're doing that again. And I just wonder, like,

on one hand, these are the guys that need it the most. I get it. It's going straight to the most needy. And when you don't pay a guy who's unemployed, you're also making hungry children right you're making displaced families you're breaking marriages like lots of horrible shit is happening but too much of a good thing you know one of the reasons capitalism works is because you're forced to go out there and make it happen so distributing this money in rough economic times

is tricky is it in australia i think we have like a system that really fucks uh people over is that like you can you can sit on unemployment and like i'm i would say i'm pretty socialist like uh when in the dispersal of like unemployment and it's like yeah that's fine unemployment's good but it's like there's no point in getting off unemployment uh sometimes because if you go and like you're doing if you do nothing and you still receive your unemployment benefit and it doesn't it doesn't matter then then you apply for a job and you get paid like an absolute minimum wage and you have to work 40 hours a week and you get paid less it's like why would you fucking bother right you can just go and do like stay on unemployment and

then go and work like cash jobs and take that on top and then you can live like a much better life and it like the maybe the gap in like the unemployment isn't the the fact that it's like the unemployment is too high the fact that the like the minimum wage is is too low or it's like impossible for people to find a job because they don't have the education they need so it's like where do you put it like you put it into education you raise the minimum wage and then you stimulate like fucking big companies or something like that but then it's like you could there's a million different things you can do really i could make education and shit it always seems like it ends up in rich universities endowments more than helping anybody actually get educated i could make an argument for um like you know giving unemployment is an act of kindness

you don't want hungry kids etc on the other hand if you that kind of generosity in the long term i mean these are guys who are two years farther back on their career than they would have had to have been right. These are like, you could be picking up new skills. It might seem like unemployment is the coolest option because it's like vacation. Some people,

and some people, when some people will be like, fuck that, I'm going to sit around and do nothing. Like, yeah, I, I don't know.

Like it forcing you to go out and work and do a career and stuff it is actually an act of kindness too and you know building skills and you know eventually you want yourself in a place where multiple companies are competing for the honor of paying you six digits right that's that's your objective out there if you're listening yeah you want you know like if this six digit job ever dries up there's three more who wish they had you that's where you're trying to get yourself and you don't get there on unemployment so i feel like there's like there it's one solution like the unemployment solution and like uh having these like fucking like these payments that go to people is a cookie cutter solution for there's like millions of people that have like way different problems like why are they

unemployed can you actually like assess that and like find out they just not want to work because if they don't want to work then it's like it's a different story if they can't find work then that's another fucking story. It's so tricky. I heard someone, it was from my chat, and he gave me a really valid reason to stay unemployed. He's a young guy. He advanced in his career very quickly. It was in construction.

And he had like a managerial position, maybe a foreman. I'll get the details wrong. And he was like, man, if I go anywhere else, I can't have this job back. So what I really need to do is for my old position to fire back up again and be there. Because if I just go into some other industry, then I get devalued and I'll lose my spot. I'll lose my position in growth. So it's like, yeah, it kind of makes sense for you to wait for that door to open back up.

I get it. And I wish that we could distinguish between him. Somehow. I know this is a hard ask and the other guy who's really hurting themselves by not getting a job and becoming more marketable. God is just happy to sit around and smoke drugs and do whatever all day, you know, like we should not say my weight is bad,

but like as long as you're functional in society. Yeah, yeah. Actually, you know what I would use the $600 for? I would buy a realistic Witch King flail, like the one sitting behind you. Can you grab that? That is Sauron's mace. I'm sorry. Taylor, you are

our ace on these things. I had it in my head that I don't I wouldn't actually be a Sauron's Mace. What if he bashed the dog with it? He like full sent it and just destroyed the dog. So that is really cool. I would go for the Witch King flail

because I like the weight and the heft of that scene when he lifts it up. I wanted to have that thing where he presses a button and then it separates into a flail. I think it has a rubber head. Did I see it and like then it separates into a flail i think it has a rubber head did i see it moving does it have a rubber yeah it's a rubber head like it's not like that way you can bring it to uh like comic cons and stuff like that yeah yeah i mean i assume so it's still like a wood it's like a wooden pole inside i reckon you could still hurt someone with it but i don't know i'd pick it up in a self-defense situation, but...

It's, um... So why did you get it? How did you come to own that? My wife brought it for me. She knows I love Lord of the Rings. What is that bug flying around your mic? I don't know. I'll get the door right because the dog goes in and out. Is it a bee?

I decided the dog wants to fucking attack me. I got a fly. Anyway. Yeah, we're both obsessed with Lord of the Rings, so she got me like the painting there is like the Middle Earth and so is the other one. I have two maps of Middle Earth

here and then a Gandalf in the back as well. So in America, we decorate our walls with stuff like that. You guys just decorate your floors i guess we we moved we moved house and then it's become a bit of a meme so i've like i we're gonna be painting and doing the whole decoration like build shelves and stuff like that and i'm gonna build shelving all through here and then my chat on twitch is just like hang those fucking pictures up and now it's just like nah it's a 10 000 sub goal to hang a picture i refuse to fucking do it how many subs do you have uh 2 000 at the moment nice nice yeah it's uh it's been it's been higher but at the same time

i sort of uh i moved house and then i took time off. And I think it usually sits around $3,000. But I mean, with a Twitch contract, it doesn't really matter. So it's... It's good numbers, though. I got to get one of those juicy Twitch contracts. Woody, we got to go balls to the wall. First quarter of Twitch. I need them to offer me a Twitch contract and confuse me with someone else.

So you're PastillesGamertag? yes yes that's me you're DrDisGamertag yeah sign me up for a two million dollar contract or whatever he gets DrDisIncentive DrDisIncentive

that's what I should have said it's not very good content he gets. Doctor Disincentive? That's what I should have said. It's not very good content. I don't put a lot of effort in. There's no reason for people to watch. Maybe a trampoline for $600. That'd be cool. Oh, Taylor, I meant to ask you. So you got your basement gym and you've just about used all the floor space, which is pretty notable.

Basements are good size. Do you have any equipment that you consider a buying mistake? Not yet. I mean, like the power rack with the barbell and everything. Obviously, that's a mistake. You can bench, squat, deadlift, do whatever you need. The chest fly machine, definitely not a a mistake i feel like i get really good activation in my chest there even more so than i get with with benching sometimes because

it is more of it forces you to do your chest uh the lat pull machine like lat pull down and the seated row with the seated row attachment that's excellent that's probably my favorite piece in my gym now i use that that's like my whole show and show us how it's going no no mostly i'm just i'm building a giant piece of marble to then chisel down at an indeterminate date tons of fat taylor's actually really strong taylor what's your farmers carry i think there's like i i upped it recently i think there's 125 on each handle so it's like you carry 125 it recently. I think there's 125 on each handle. So it's like you carry 125 farmers. Where do you find that many farmers? Well, there's a lot of farms. Heave them over.

But yeah, the farmers carry is Taylor's very strong. Just you grab two handles and then you just pick them up and you walk as far as you can until you can't anymore like that big log sort of thing oh yeah that you know I think the bar the barbell goes around you yeah I aren't that fancy it's just a handle with a post that you put plates on but it's the same same basic

shit yeah those things were one of the cheapest pieces in my gym I use those constantly so that's not a mistake the only thing 125 kilos pounds were one of the cheapest pieces in my gym. I use those constantly, so that's not a mistake. The only thing... 125 kilos. Pounds. In each hand. In each hand.

Like 52 kilos or something. Per hand? Is that right? I'm just doing it in my head. I don't know. Do you ever have to take multiple trips for the shopping? 52 kilos. 56 kilos.

Okay. Is it exactly 56 kilos? Yeah. Oh, 56.9. Oh, 6.9. Sorry. Nice. Yeah.

Well, to answer your question, Woody, I think I'm fortunate. You don't have any buying mistakes. In the future, so far, I like everything. That hex bar that Slush was talking about, I don't use that for the farmer's carries, but I use it for shrugs and some other stuff. That thing's excellent. And I went cheap as shit on that.

Like all those hex bars were like solid metal pieces that looked all nice and sleek. I got this cap one that you have to screw together every bit of it. And it looks, it looks crappy, but it's in my basement. And it was, I think it was like $48 compared to like 160 for some of the nice looking ones

but that thing's great the back hyper extension stand i have i only use that on leg and core days but that was only like 120 bucks so that i'm i'm pretty lucky so far i like all of it and then i my girlfriend gets a ton of use out of the elliptical on the treadmill. I do not. I get borderline. That's for the lighter chiseling when you come out. Yeah, I'm finally satisfied. Is the elliptical a lot of work? This is a standing elliptical, right?

Like not a. Yeah. Yeah. It's a pretty big one, too. Like it's not like a. For a home elliptical, it's pretty meaty. Like it doesn't it's not going to shake. It's not going to move even with someone bigger. Like I am running around on it.

Uh, how much, how much do you weigh? If you have mommy asking, uh, two 25 right now, 20 now, now,

now we have to go on convert again. And I'm six feet tall. So little, little lot, lot bit fat right now. Good, a good amount of muscle. Also,

I do lift a ton, like very, very often. and some big weights i'm trying to ask you about your most impressive exercise like i've been selecting didn't you bench a lot you benched a ton by my standards two i did 285 three times 285 pounds three times that's a big that's a big bench oh yeah you know it's pounds right you didn't go kg again did you 100 130 130 kilos that's a that's a big bench i can i can i consider myself fairly strong for like someone that doesn't really sit around and like i sit around a lot but

like i'm i'm a fairly big guy and i I worked manual labor a lot when I was younger, so I was never weak. But 130 kilos, that's a pretty impressive bench. Taylor's really strong. He can't see it because he's only showing shoulder up, but he has big arms. I think I saw him when he stood up. I was like, save that one for later put that thing back on the hitachi and

try it again you were saying you were really active growing up what were your sports of choice that you enjoyed i played uh so we have uh football here but it's it's it's uh different so it's an australian australian rules football where you um it's like i don't even know i guess you call it gaelic football in america uh but they use like a uh like an egg-shaped ball i don't know if you've never seen it's called afl but it's like it's like on a big field oh like a mix there's like some rugby mixed in there maybe or something uh well you know just tackle they i i played that um i played rugby as well uh which was it's just similar to nfl and then um i played uh uh field hockey for a while because my brother was a goalie and they

needed a standing for a team so i played that for a couple years did you like that they they only had girls field hockey here like that that really wasn't offered for boys well it's like they have it for boys but it's like you know it's like lacrosse for americans like they have boys teams for lacrosse they they're field hockey teams for australians for for guys it's like lacrosse like just cunts hitting each other with sticks it's just fucking really it's it's it's i didn't like it because it's just this like rock hard concrete egg just flying around at like a fucking 180 miles per hour i know we've got is a mouth guard and a couple of shin guards and then you go like you're running along and there's some pricks like trying to ram me stick up underneath your crotch to try and like

fucking grab you rip your cock off with it. Similar to hockey in that way. I assume ice hockey, not very big in Australia. No, not at all. But I did, yeah. So I played football and rugby and field hockey and I did boxing and go-kart racing as well. Did boxing? Just kind of casually or like how old were you?

Mostly through high school. So like age like 12 to like 18 they did boxing so did it like six years but it was like i only did i had two fights so i and they weren't like they were just like amateur like literally at the club go and people that want to rock up rock up and i thought one guy who was like tiny and i pounded the ever-living shit out of him and then they're like okay he's he's 16 uh he's a pretty big guy we'll fight you can fight this 18 year old and then this guy just fucking beat the ever-living shit out of me never doing that again he owned me like raining blows down upon me. I didn't even start.

It doesn't look fun. I have a buddy who, and I'm 29 now. This was two years ago. We were both 27. He was like, I've done some jujitsu training casually. I'm going to start doing fighting, amateur fighting. He did one. This was a year ago after training for a year.

He beat the fucking tar out of a dude. It wasn't boxing. It was MMA, mixed martial arts. And so like we all bought tickets. We went and watched him. They had little like come out music or was amped up. It was fun to watch probably just because I knew him. And he beat the shit out of this guy.

And it was so satisfying. Like, yeah, dude, I know that guy. And he just bloodied and bashed that dude. And then I saw. And then he won his second fight. I went and saw him there his third fight he sent the video to us because a lot of us weren't able to go and like if there were a police officer there he should have arrested the person that was fighting my friend because it was attempted murder how bad he got beat like and it changed it flipped his

script on it immediately because we've been telling him for a while, like, dude, you're going to get your skull rocked or your brain bounced and something bad's going to happen and you're going to regret doing this. Just don't. He's like, it's fine, it's fine. That one big loss, he was complaining for weeks afterward. Like, I think I had a concussion. I should have gone to the hospital.

My head hurts so bad. And that last time I saw him, I'm like, you're still going to do that again, Tim? You're still going to be challenging people? He's like,'s like fuck no dude that was the dumbest decision of my life to get into amateur mma at 30 competing he was like but one of my friends did that we were like we're in our mid-20s and he he was like he was good and he fought a bunch of guys over here and then he went to vegas to train and he was sparring with a guy. This guy, like, roundhouse heeled kicked him in the face

and, like, fractured his jaw and his eye socket and gave him, like, this insane concussion, and they're just like, you can never fight again. Like, this guy has literally just, like, kicked your head off. Like, you're lucky you don't have brain damage damage and so you just you just couldn't fight anymore like none of it looks like fun you couldn't pay me to do any actually you absolutely could pay me it would just take a lot i said to clean another tarkov streamer that i'd fight him uh for twitch twitch fights uh i don't he i he's i to him, you need to give me a year.

I'm in really bad shape, so you got to let me get in shape and then I'll fight him because he's like shredded and an MMA fighter, but I'm like, I'll do it, but you're going to kick my ass. I know you're going to kick my ass. I'll go in and get punched in the face for money. I don't mind. No, I meant a Jupiter year, so I'll see you.

I reckon I could give him, give me me a year i reckon i could get i reckon i get fit enough to fight him but i he would still fuck me up i couldn't fit enough to lose yeah enough to go like one or two rounds without getting just like instantly exhausted in the first minute and then choked out you know yeah to close the uh the skill gap you know you could close the fitness gap in a year perhaps if you're motivated but the skill gap would take longer yeah i think that like the kicking and stuff like that like i know how to i know how to punch like obviously not like i'm not a professional boxer but like i could learn how to punch but i don't think i learned how to grapple or kick in a year anywhere

near what like he's been training for ages and he has had fights uh there's no way i could close that gap but i was like why not oh yeah maybe i'll just not train and i'll just go in weighing like twice as much as him and just try and like grab him and just sit on him or some shit you've got one body slam attempt yeah and then just like gouge my eyes out or something unless you can get square on top of him and hope that he had like a big lunch he would fuck me out though like he's he's jacked as fuck but it's uh i'll tell it to be funny why not uh what how serious is this jake paul fighting ben askren thing is that gonna happen um it's that's news to me um man i just really side on the side of people that are actual professional

fighters and not people who are trying to fight that that are like you know youtubers and stuff like first of all jake's a lot bigger than ben i'll take i'll put five dollars on jake paul if it happens yeah see the thing is it's not that ben aspen's not a great boxer i know like this is a real weird fight right now um um connor uh no um paul uh logan trains with paul costa paulo costa and costa ko'd him the other day but that happened recent that happened months ago did it happen again they did it again then i guess i guess they spar hard um he is like costa could literally take ben askren's life from him if he wanted to uh i believe and um and so like that's not a good comparison at all yeah i guess fuck and box it's boxing right yeah it's box it's boxing and it's

jake i don't know who's better but at boxing i would logan see see i would take your bet the only reason i don't want to is because it's boxing judging. Cause I think it's going to go the distance and we're going to have to count on boxing judging. And like, I don't know much about boxing, but I think even a novice can like watch a fist fight and be like, Oh, well that guy hit that guy a lot more times. That guy was getting pushed around. This guy clearly won the fight. Like you can watch a schoolyard fight and determine a winner you don't have to be some aficionado and i watched so many boxing uh fights where i'm like bullshit bullshit no you're wrong you're and and you clearly know more than me and you still got it wrong which means you're corrupt and you're and like it seems that sometimes i'm too impressed by misses right i'm like oh yeah

look this guy's been throwing a lot more this and that and then upon further like slow motion and stuff it's like ah yeah i i was being impressed by misses those weren't landing like i thought they were i watched the tyson fight like that's the most one that's the most recent one yeah right where like it was just the fix was in. There was an agreed upon draw from the very beginning. So I don't know why. I didn't know that going in. If I had, I wouldn't have even bothered looking.

And then I go back to when Conor boxed Floyd Mayweather. And look, Floyd won the fight. That was the most boring fight in the world. I didn't think so I was thinking of Mayweather vs Pacquiao oh god that was boring but Conor vs Mayweather

was look it wasn't nearly as cool as a Conor I would rather watch that Conor vs Cowboy a fight like that or Conor vs Khabib or Conor vs fucking Jose Aldo, like one of those 13 second, like crazy,

just, oh my God, it's like, like my heart was beating so fast, when he just destroyed Cowboy, a few months ago, and the same thing, when like he KO'd Aldo,

like five years ago, it's crazy, then watch that, drawn out, pussy footing around boxing bullshit pillow fist nonsense clutching holding ref breaking up again and again and again i hate it so much when they grab each other it's like like how is this a sport like in no other sport is is that a thing like imagine if that was a thing in football where like

i don't know you could just kind of like grab the other guy and oh well now the play is stopped we got to reset because he hugged the other guy and as we all know the hug is the break in contact what youtubers have gay shit is this like it's literally a sport where the two men are fighting over a purse to begin with right but the and a belt and and and then like like like a huge part of it is the two men hugging shirtless in the middle of the ring face to face like they should be in missionary position yeah youtube has made boxing popular you know with the jake and logan paul they might be the biggest names in boxing right now maybe tyson is but j Jake and Logan Paul could be second and third biggest names in boxing. And it's really not that good a product. So I'm with you there. But Ben Ashgren,

if people don't know, Ben Ashgren's most recently a UFC fighter. He was undefeated for a long, long portion of his career. He's very, very good, but he's a well-known wrestler he wrestled in college and more than any other fighter i can think of relied on his grappling uh he never ever tried to engage on the feet really he just went straight to grappling so for him in a boxing match i'm not even sure he has professional level striking well it feels like yeah like he's calling out a bird to have a 150 meter swimming contest it's like right so and also i say this again and again a youtuber has never been beat by a professional athlete right youtubers are undefeated the only people who can beat youtubers in boxing it would appear are other youtubers so the smart 20 streamer

yeah right um like i i can never tell these two cunts apart these pool blokes uh look okay and apparently they did like div one uh wrestling and um one of them did div run wrestling they look like i wouldn't find them they pretty fucking rock my scalp first of all like like i i've met jay um logan he's enormous like yeah he's very tall yeah i don't know what his stat sheet says but i would guesstimate by standing next to him and like putting my hands on him that he was six three because he's definitely taller than me, but his neck... I've got big hands, and there's no way I could get my hands around this man's neck. It's so fucking thick, and he's jacked his butt.

I want to know where on FetLife you found the Logan Paul chuggy finish. I don't... I was in this stupid movie with him, and there's a part where I have to choke him. And I'm choking him him and it's, and I'm choking him and I'm just like, dude, nobody's going to believe that I could choke you. He's like, he's like, well, you do have the knife.

And I'm like, I don't like my chances. I think you could probably take this away from me. He's like, no, that's a big knife. I'm like, you're a big boy. I think you can take this knife away from me. Whatever happened to that movie? They cut me out of it, thank God. Because I feel like it was not going to be a good look.

Really? So it came out and you were cut out of it? Yes. I was honestly very happy that I was. Were you paid for it? Or did you do it? I got paid whatever the Screen, uh, screen actors guild like minimum is like, uh, which, which is like maybe 600 a day or something like that. I don't remember exactly.

Did you get a screen actors guild card for it or anything? I heard that's hard to get for something. Yeah. I don't remember the specifics, but the, um, like, you know, like, like, uh, Vitality was the main villain and i was like working with vitality to like kill everybody that was on the plane so i think they just cut me out with an accent oh yeah yeah it was it was yeah because vitality is also russian well actually russian i should say and uh and the whole thing was that like we were working together to take out all the like influencers and YouTubers.

And then he like turns on me at the end of the movie and kills me. And, uh, but, but no, I was, I was honestly like, I was, I didn't want to do it to begin with. Like, like my, uh, my, um, what do you call it? YouTube, um, partner thing. Your, um, network network. I owed my network a favor. They just had like bought my contract out from

machinima they had spent like six figures well over that to like get me out of that stupid machinima contract and uh and i and they were like you know we'd really appreciate it if you do this thing and i'm like all right all right as long as i don't have to like as long as you'll pay for everything i'll i'll do it and it was just a fucking hassle i was i flew to la either twice or maybe even three fucking times like the first time i flew to la i flew to la stayed at a hotel for or um the housing situation was fucked but in any case i stayed out there for at least two nights maybe three and because like movie production is so fucked and like the time schedule is always getting moved around all that happened was i got measured for

my wardrobe like i literally flew to la got measured for wardrobe spent like at least two days there flew back and then flew back again like maybe a week later or something for my scenes and i was there for like another like two or three days or something like that so were you upset with that oh i honestly didn't mind because i was getting a free trip to la and you know all the you know it's it's legal weed out there and um i know girls out there so like you know i was just i once we got my housing situation fixed because it was like there were bounce me around to like two different shitty places before i made them pay for a nice place um i was in like a pretty fucking nice uh apartment with like a girl and tons of weed so

i didn't mind i was right there on like the walk of stars or whatever i know that's a big area but like i could look down and see hookers and all sorts of crazy nonsense at night down from like the fifth floor and like smoke weed on the balcony all, all day and all night when I wasn't filming. So I didn't mind. I like traveling, but no, I was glad that they cut me out frankly,

because I felt like it was just silly. I didn't want to be doing the whole thing at all. I'm like wearing some suit, like running around't want to be doing the whole thing at all. I'm like wearing some suit, like running around in an airplane, like having a knife fight with somebody. Did you feel silly? Yes, I felt silly.

It was goofy. I'm like spitting blood as I get stabbed. Vitaly kisses me. Like, I just didn't want a clip of me and Vitalik kissing to exist forever. You know? But it does. Someone's going to release it. There'll be some guy who's like a $50 patron sub who's just like,

ah, yes, guess what? I actually worked on that film and I have a safe copy. It wouldn't be the worst thing. But, yeah. Honestly, it was just cool to sort of meetgan because i thought he was a nice guy and my and what i what i always say about logan when he comes up because for a long time he was getting so much shit because of that japanese suicide forest thing was it like was it like every time i met him or was in a room with him like he treated me like an equal and he was cool with me and he was very

polite and nice to me and like, like took care of any concerns I had. And I, and I got to meet Farva from a super troopers. He was also in the movie. I don't know the actor's name, but like, I love super troopers. So like while I was getting my makeup done, he's like right next to me getting his makeup done. So we had like a 30 minute conversation so that alone honestly was worth the whole ordeal just like chilling with barbara for half an hour huh was he a friendly guy really friendly like like he initiated a conversation with me and i was like i was like i think i told him i was like man i'm a big fan of super troopers and the broken lizard stuff like like i grew up with that it's really cool to meet you and he was like oh yeah yeah thank you i will you know and we talked about the super troopers and how they made that movie and stuff like like i grew up with that it's really cool to meet you and he was like oh yeah yeah thank you you know we talked about the super troopers and how they made that movie and stuff like that and uh i don't know it was it was cool to meet him meeting him like i said was worth the

whole ordeal of all the of the four transcontinental flights and uh and all the bullshit and getting cut from that wonderful motion picture i was so was it a full-length picture i think it was 90 minutes or something like that i was like 90 minutes i don't know i mean they were in like i don't know a ton about movie production but like they had a movie studio and like they like the movie is filmed on a plane like almost all of it is and so like they had like a giant jumbo jet set inside of a movie studio like warehouse and like i don't know it's it's it's a plane like like you know it was a bit of money i guess i don't know it wasn't like this was like a youtube production where there's like 15 people working on

it or something like that there was hundreds of people huh um airplane mode i think yeah okay that turns me off instantly yeah because like because the the whole idea was that um so it's like is it a new thing because it's like it's a trailer out at the moment it's like maybe they never released it maybe i maybe maybe it got tied up um i think they had some kind of legal issue with the name or something at one point is that his airplane mode 19th of september 2019 official trailer for 2020 god maybe it might stay about imagine if they uncut you oh he's that i'll say uh it'll be fine who's be fun in the trailer who's that chick that got really famous on instagram

oh is it a really cute small chick yeah I can't remember her name I felt very there's a part where I'm restraining her and I felt uncomfortable you felt aroused is what you meant I was like you didn't tell me I was going to have to put my hand over her mouth i haven't washed

my hand all day i just remember like like i've got my hand literally over her mouth and like i'm thinking like i wouldn't put my hand over my mouth right now i would wash my own hand before i ate anything right now and it's just all over her mouth and i'm feeling like dirty dirty girl like no just being like right now this trailer and it's like the airport security is that like they're coming they're raping everybody like that they come from the youtube videos yeah so that's the premise of the the movie is that the airplane is full of like youtube influencers and Instagram people. And because they're all so vapid and self-absorbed, they all want to be on their phones

doing their bullshit. And they don't put their phones on airplane mode. And that causes some sort of malfunction. Because one phone off of airplane mode won't do anything. But literally 250 of them apparently does. And that's sort of the premise of

the movie remember back in the day people used to make songs and mention like 13 youtubers in the song hoping they'd get a shout out and just try to earn their own like clout and love off of everybody else this is my favorite uh this is my favorite quote here from the uh thing i uh and over 23 of the biggest youtubers that's what they're doing over 23 of them you might you might be in one of the deleted that not over 20 oh deleted see yeah but that that's kind of the point i was getting to like i feel like they made this movie in hopes that it would be popular not because it's a cinematic masterpiece but because everybody wants to see X YouTuber. Of course they were going to leverage the fan bases,

Instagrams and Facebooks and just general fan base of all of the people who were in it for sure. Yeah. But I guess it didn't make money. If you're in a movie called Manhattan, then you have been falsely attributed for a movie called Manhattan then you have been falsely attributed for a movie from 2013

because it says you are most known for Manhattan 2013 film where you played Julian Rockenberg I don't know anything about that I don't know anything about that it's one of the 8 million movies that was recently deleted.

Amanda Sturney, that's her name. That may have been the girl I was restraining. I don't remember her name. She was super fucking hot, though. She was hard to be in the same room with hot. I'm glad you said that. You mentioned two stories about that recently. Sometimes women can be distractingly good looking. Yeah that i find that women think that about me sometimes i can see that

but i wait to the other one distractingly uh uh ugly rapey rapey yeah yeah yeah he looks like a sexual pest yeah that's the one uh yeah this is four years ago now but i remember i was telling the story we were touring dorms that hope would uh go to at unc unc's a college nearby and uh there was a woman on like an elliptical trainer i think in her yoga pants and like a sports bra and they're like this is the gym and we're in there as they're giving a tour of the gym for a while like 10 minutes and again like no one's gonna mention this no she is perfect she's over the top good looking right like hollywood stars would say i wish i look like this woman and and we're all sitting here acting like we care about the fucking rack well okay maybe that's the wrong thing to... Yeah.

Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. Just a distractingly beautiful person. We don't have people like that in Australia. We're from the middle... No, we do in Australia, but we're from the middle of nowhere, mate. You're lucky if you land a better than nice

swamp donkey, you know, man. We just do the best... No, mate. It's like, you're lucky if you land a better than nice swamp donkey, you know, man. We just do the best... No, I'm kidding. A swamp donkey. I'm like Alabama of Australia, man. How many people live in Tanzania? Tanzania? Fuck no. But in Tasmania?

Tasmania, sorry. 100,000 on the island? Wouldn't that be funny if you live in tanzania it would be funny if you wanted to go and into australia and you but you booked a flight to tanzania and you're like a lot of abos here god damn i didn't realize Welcome to Tanzania It's like they wanted to go Yeah It's uh Yeah Yeah

I don't think there's even Very much Aboriginal population Left in Tasmania I think the The white man Dealt with that Pretty early

Similar to Good Finally lost Over Good I watched that movie Quigley Down Under and I root for the bad guys the whole time Quigley Down Under

yeah that's a movie that I bet none of you have seen but you should all watch it I watched it with you I'm glad you've seen it because every Australian should see that it's an American western placed in Australia it's great we watched that together

oh that's right years ago yeah yeah yeah great wow i'm not i i so i i i get awkward around this uh around this topic because i'm like uh so as i said like convict stock before i so my family came to australia as criminals and one of my uh ancestors i think it's like my great great grandfather he came to australia as a criminal and he did his time in like a the penal colony which uh sounds like a a pornographic uh place where you go to uh yeah yeah but i don't know what crime he committed but essentially he came here and then afterwards was employed and his job was literally to hunt native Australians.

That's all he did. Well paid. Apparently he just rode around on a horse with other guys and just hunted humans. That was his job. A horse. Very old school. Just out in the outback.

Well, it was a fair while ago, but that was his job. His job was he was an employed government, well, school just out in the outback well it was a it was a fair while ago but that was his job he's uh his job was he was an employed government uh well english government uh genocide yeah but for anyone for anyone that was black that's like that's that's my that's my family history not something was he like a well-known like man i have i idea. Honestly, I don't know. But that was his job. It's fucking weird. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. My great-great-grandfather was just a man hunter.

A man hunter. Yeah, he just hunted men. How did he go about it? Did he just catch them getting into their cars or into a saloon? No, this is like fucking like ages and ages i know like probably the 80s right yeah just just just hit him up while they're jumping into their commodores mate and slap him in the face with their with your song mate and drag him out onto the street i just put a barrel of gas out there. There's a bit of

bait. Then I wait for him to go over and start having it. I'm under arrest by the Queen's English and the of Australia, wherever we reserve it from. You're sentenced to the crime of being black and you're dead.

The Queen wants you gone. That was weird. I found out about uh my family history like i think like a year and a half ago and i was like i don't know how that makes me feel it's like you you're like it's like they're obviously like in america there's a lot of people that are just like oh yeah my family like they're in slaves or something like that it's like no my my i had a i had an ancestor his job was literally just to hunt them down and kill them not even fucking he didn't arrest him he was just no arrest just fucking just hunt and like like vomiting you don't arrest an animal taylor like like like like like you i was just like asking exterminator like like you don't arrest the cockroaches?

You place them in little cockroach handcuffs No, you fucking wipe them out I was just wondering before why you don't have a switch, Carl and then I was like You explained that to me Hell you know Sometimes you push it too far

which gives you the the the bug i've had yeah the slappy boy yeah i'm lucky i haven't had that yet but i'm probably only a matter of time i saw that um like like what do you did you see this woody where where it was like um someone was was talking about how in that episode of the mandalorian it was like the guard uh the stormtrooper reacting to moff gideon telling him to put baby yoda in uh in restraints and him coming to the realization that they were in possession of baby-sized handcuffs and thinking to himself are we the baddies? Like, we have baby-sized handcuffs on board, ready to go. Are we the baddies? Ready for anything? Gotta be prepared.

Did the handcuffs stop him from using his force push? Nah, I don't think so. I don't know what kind of... That was how I interpreted it and why they had a blue glow to them. Like, as opposed to being regular handcuffs. I'm not sure. Yeah, that wouldn't stop that. Is Baby Yoda meant to be like a dude or a...

I don't know. I swear the face looks like feminine. He is male. He is male. His name is Grogu. Yes, he is. Grogu? Have we seen him? How do we know he's male

because he's referred to as him like like many times like i don't even know what he is right right just like they call it a dog a good boy and then you find that it's a girl yeah all right definitely him like like definitely him. Okay. There was a female of that species and you could tell that she was a lady. It wasn't like with dwarfs. It's just like my wife has a huge beard as well.

Yeah. That's all the difference. That might be the only good scene in the whole uh hobbit trilogy is when legolas is like going through that guy's pockets and he's like what is this who's this guy and he's like it's me wife he's like what's this what is this troll he like, that's my boy Gimli. Bring out of holes in the ground. Which of course is ridiculous. A1 is like, stop talking to me. I want to go get boned by Aragorn.

Yeah, yeah. How old are you? 87. Well, I still want to fuck. I think the new scene. I'm actually interested in a 3,000 year want to fuck. I think the new season letter... I'm actually interested in a 3,000-year-old elf woman. I got really into Letter Kenny last month, and I watched every single episode,

which isn't saying much, because some of the early seasons have very few episodes, but I think the new season just started season nine. So I'm about to get back into that. I really like that fucking show. I like the main character. I'm about to get back into that. I really like that fucking show. I like the main character. I like his whole thing. I like all of them really.

I think his name is Wayne. I think the main character's name is Wayne. Okay. I'm really digging that show. I want to know who writes it. I wonder if he writes it. I wouldn't be surprised. Is his sister super hot yeah okay i i thought you might come back and say she was too skinny

or something because i think she's super hot no i i think she's got a very pretty face um she's aged a little bit but um you know because they've been doing the show for nine years the show for nine years but no she's really she's really pretty is the sister from dexter hot no no and it has nothing to do with the fact that she's crazy skinny she's got um she's actually like a friend of a friend of my ex-girlfriend like um they were like i remember like when dexter was a thing, like I, we were getting the inside scoop on some sort of, um, uh, on maybe it was heard. It was either her cheating on her husband or, um, her cheating with someone with a married man or something like that.

There was this whole drama going on. And, uh, I don't know. I was privy to all of that. It was kind of interesting cause I was watching the show at the same time, but, but no, I don't know i was privy to all of that it was kind of interesting because i was watching the show at the same time but but no i don't think she's attractive she's got like snaggle teeth and like ugly face she looks like she ugly cries and uh my ugly cry i'm attractive it's been a long time since i've watched the show, so I'm reserving the right to change my opinion. But I remember her being hot enough from the neck down to overcome her face and her oddly wide eyes.

That's because you like those women who are so skinny. They're like stretched out prepubescent girls. You're into five foot six tall prepubescent girls like lean as fuck she has no titties which I didn't even notice if she's in the corner I'd got it for a week

man she's hot as fuck she's all rib cage and bones do you know the actress's name by chance nah Dexter Dexter's sister Debra is the character's name by chance nah dex uh um dexter is the character's name deborah from dexter jennifer lee carpenter i think is her name not hot um we're gonna let my girlfriend was hotter and my girlfriend's friend was also hotter like she's just not that attractive really really like like she just doesn't have an attractive face uh now that i can i can line up with i think that so i don't find her to be

ugly as much as i find her to be like not hollywood pretty i'm not picky mate honestly. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting, because I'm not picky, man. She looks like she's got a learning disorder. What? Her eyes are too far apart. She's got retard mouth, and she's got snaggity. What do you think?

There's Legos in there? You can't tell. No, she's got this thing. Look. I'm picking off some of her better pictures. So it's a little bit cheating. Yeah. I mean, but I'm doing it honestly.

I'm being out in front about it. Let me pick out some that aren't so good. Nothing about her mouth looks like she's a retarded person. Not in these pictures because she's posing for a photographer. He's taking a hundred photos. And he's going, oh, this one makes you look like you have an above room temperature IQ, man. This one's perfect.

As she's licking the floor. Arkanshi looks like she'd be really into hitting and stuff, which I'm down for. I grabbed that one. It's an angry face. She also looks like she'd be really fucking angry if

you didn't clean the kitchen yeah you know i was right maybe she's saying they're like no we won't get ice cream before i go to work here's a less flattering picture and i'm sort of

sticking by my opinion that like she's not a natural beauty but she's really just short of hollywood standards and not so much like an actually ugly person i agree with you yeah well who would you consider like are we talking like uh hollywood standard be like the fucking i mean what's the chick that plays the uh the elf that aragon bangs live tyler live tyler she hollywood because she she i think she looks sort of similar to her

I think that Liv Tyler is attractive but she's not like a real beauty or anything but Arwen is a different story if she'll keep those elf ears on then that bumps her up like two tiers of hotness

is it just Arwen? is it Arwen? Arwen is tiers of hotness. Is it just A-R-W-E-N? Is it A-O-N? A-O-N is the other girl. That's E-O-W-Y-N, but Arwen is A-R-W-E-N. That's doing it.

Oh, so you're saying Liv Tyler's just okay, but Arwen is amazing because there go in costume the same with kate blanchett kate blanchett is just okay but galadriel is a smoke show yeah but she'd probably give you some kind of like fucking wizard blowjob or something that i don't care if she gives me wizard aids yeah but she'd be like she'd be like yeah i'm about to like show you the ring and then suck the bed shades through your arsehole or something man

okay since the last time I saw you I had some relations with a different Radagast he'd been fucking all the animals in the forest now I know why they call him radagast the brown

she's like uh if you offer me this dick i would have power i don't know i was just having a conversation earlier where like scum was saying that um bell delphine wasn't even close to hot. He's like, I've fucked 10 girls this year that are hotter than Belle Delphine. And look, I don't doubt him, because I've seen some of the girls that he hooks up with, but... Doesn't make Belle Delphine unhot. It doesn't make Belle Delphine not hot. Well, let's wrap it up.

I know Slush has places to go, people to see. It is the holidays, of course. Yeah, I'm going to go. I forgot about time zones for a second. I'm like, he's wrap it up. I know Slush has places to go. People to see. It is the holidays, of course. Yeah, I'm going to go. I forgot about time zones for a second. I'm like, he's not busy. It's like 11 p.m. Yeah. I've got good friends just rolling up to my house, actually.

I'm going to go. So tell everybody where they can go find all things that are Slush Puppy. Oh, twitch.tv forward slash Slush Puppy. I think Slush Puppy TV on YouTube. I don't know. Just search Slush Puppy. It'll Slash Puppy TV on YouTube. I don't know. Just search Slash Puppy. It'll be right. You'll find me.

Check out his stream. If you like PKA, you'll probably like Slash. Hope you guys enjoyed this holiday version of PKA. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. I don't believe in any of those other... Well, I don't believe in any of them, but I only respect those two, so that's all you're getting.

Christmas. That's the only one I respect. I'm going to say happy holidays because it pisses off Republicans. PKA 523.