Painkiller Already - PKA 529 w Harley Morenstein - Harley's Fat Now, The Big Game Bets, Cartoon Nostalgia

Episode Date: February 9, 2021

pka 529 with our guest harley taylor this episode is brought to you by express vpn and postmates we'll hear more about them later but i'd like to hear more about harley now what's new with you what's been what's been going on in your world um so i just moved actually um got a place i was uh in an apartment for a year in toronto i just kind of didn't know what i was doing and i just got a place and i'm i'm set up i'm comfortable um when you say you got a place are you renting a place did you buy no i bought a house yeah i bought you know what like it's so funny it's like such a stupid thing i remember being on here years ago and i was like oh buy bitcoin uh but like people like like you know about that and like it's still like whatever i don't know and i was never financial advice by the way and it whatever, I don't know. And I was never financial advice, by the way. And it's like, I don't know, whatever. But one thing that I would say not financial advice, again, it's like, definitely buy a house immediately. Like if you

if you have faith that you can like rent for the year, try and find a way speak to some professionals, see if you should start investing in a house um because i think about all these houses i rented and i'm like damn and obviously you know everyone's money situation is different i was like i should have got a house so long ago i guess you get scared you're like i don't know if i have faith in myself to continue for a year being able to to pay something off or whatever but um is that what it was because i feel like a lot of people rent because they don't want roots yet you know yeah that too yeah i might find myself in hollywood like in your situation or i might find myself here i you know like i'm not sure this is where i want to be i'm renting until they no

longer test my urine you know like if they uh if you get if you get a place like you don't even if you're there for you know five years five years or something you know if you just you know a lot more people are prone to staying in their hometown or whatever um but yeah that's just i'm just blabbing that was just one thing i wish i did earlier it was kind of like a fuck up you know i didn't really it was like for exactly what you're saying i was i have moved like every year in the last eight years but still um think about it guys speak to someone that's what i'd say for sure in your case would it have been a mistake to have bought a house like you were moving you lived in hollywood for a while i think that's a real thing you did i'm i'm fortunate that i could have bought a house

myself and not lived in it or airbnb'd it or even if you get a place like, like even if I got it and did nothing with it, except maintain it and like sold it today. Like there was a house we rented like years ago that was like $350,000 in this like suburb of Montreal. It was $350,000. And now it's five years later and it's $750,000. Jesus Christ. And obviously not every,

not every city is the same, you And obviously not every city's the same. You know, not every city's the same. Toronto, where I was living before, is really crazy. Like you go there, like you spend a million dollars. By the way, all this money is Canadian, so it's nothing. You spend a million dollars and you're like, someone's in your basement. Like it's still like, it's like, it's quite expensive, but you know, I'm not saying like the real estate market is infallible.

You know, things can change. But I'm just thinking about my scenario. Like, yeah, it was a fuck up. Like I rented a different house. If I bought all those houses, I could have sold them this year. Like I'm not promising to pay them off for 25 years, but I could have sold them now. And, you know, things would have been different. Who knows?

I have a theory that house preferences. I'm sorry, I guess I'll just go, are rising. They're evolving into larger sizes, right? So it used to be, hey, if you get a two-bathroom, three-bedroom house, that will always sell. Whereas if you get into four and five bedrooms, especially at five, you're kind of hitting a smaller market. Not everybody wants a house that big and expensive. So tying into my thought that commercial real estate, because of COVID, is going to have a very long-term dip in it. It might last a decade or better. Because all these guys are working from home.

They prefer it. They love it. Their employers are not having to get this hugely expensive commercial real estate. So that space requirement has shifted on to normal people and they like it. So now instead of that three bedroom home being like a nice size for a family of four is now a little small for a family of four because dad has an office or maybe mom and dad both need offices or whatever that is and because everyone's fatter now yes everybody's fatter like i think i'm serious think about like think about like those people you know your friends that you haven't seen in a while like you know they've been you see them posting on facebook

or instagram they're fatter now all All your audience. Oh, this audience, people listening right now, someone here is pinching their titty at home and they didn't have a titty like a year ago and they're like, he's right, he's right. Everyone's fatter now. I'm 300 pounds. You know, I'm the fattest I've ever been. Wow.

Yeah, look at this. It doesn't sit right because I'm just, oh, look at this. This is like sweat from my tits. Oh, dude, I empathize so much with that. It doesn't sit right because like'm just oh look at this this is like sweat from my oh dude i i empathize so much it doesn't sit right because like i'm tall but like there's like fat in here like daddy's got a gut and it's you know what i and it's funny because i didn't do epic mealtime for a year so we stopped doing epic mealtime and then i got the fattest i've ever been as crazy as that is just stopping working out and just the gigantic the gigantic uh the pandemic the like just this gigantic like like pressure of

staying home and i was in a little apartment like now i have a house things are different now like now i i built a gym in my garage i've been working out for like the last five days nice that's different things are to get better. But it's because I sat around like I just did nothing. Like you want to know it's so fat. Like I'm sure there's fatties listening to this podcast right now. Like my ankle hurts. Like I'll stand up and then I'll be like, I got to sit my ankle.

Like that's how fat I am. Like my own bones are like are like bro don't be standing for 20 minutes straight man and then if i stand like and try and put the pressure on my knees my knees are like no no not here bro you're not gonna find your ass down because you're at that height where you're on the cusp can think where things can just go wrong a hundred percent 81 year old six foot seven guys do you know have Have you ever seen them? None, yeah. They all get fat during the pandemic and die early. Yeah.

Well, I got like this. I'm saying it's like the ankles hurt, like standing hurts. And I know like, you know, people, people, like I said, people have tits now. And those dudes didn't have tits before. But I'm changing now. I'm changing. I'm going to switch that up. I got the gym.

I'm going to it. But you know what? Like it didn't have to be like that. I just changing now. I'm changing. I'm going to switch that up. I got the gym, I'm going to it. But you know what? Like it didn't have to be like that. I just had to, I should have got up and walked every day. Like I was stuck at home and it was easy to be on the bed, but like, just like get up and walk and do something. And like, also like I'll order like food and snack and shit. Like you should just be conscious that if you're going to like snack do a little something just balance it out because you know what i realized i was able to do epic meals and maintain because i was existing and exercising here and there when i stopped moving and stopped exercising shit caught up and now i'm a fat ass it's like my ankle i gotta sit because i was standing like standing has become an activity to my body like i do reps of standing now

so it's all it's all been a disaster this gym is completely empty except for one stool standing reps and that and some twisted in some twisted form of everything i brought epic mealtime back i was like well maybe if epic mealtime comes back, then I'll be fit again. So yeah, we just uploaded the second episode. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's brand new. We sold some ad spots for ball shavers and stuff like that, whatever.

And that's what we're doing. I'm like, you know what? I wasn't uploading. I was doing a lot of game streaming and stuff. Now got the space i also didn't i was living in like a shoebox like i was living like in the middle of toronto i tried to find a place fast and uh i think like your space could could be hard on you and i didn't go out enough i should have went out more for all the fatties listening right now fat ass get your ass up and go outside a little bit and i know that's so cliche but i'm not trying to humiliate you in front of your friends this

is probably like you know you're watching this solo don't be fat like me bro you don't want to get to where your ankle hurts so i do something for there's no better other than someone else fat shaming you at like an amusement park like like i don't know if you should get on that ride like that would be the ultimate i saw one dude i saw one dude of six flags and i was like maybe 12 years old and he was on the batman which is one where you sit on it your feet are dangling and you have to pull that thing down i mean it's at every six flags just different names and like he even sat in rows four and five which is for the disgusting and he was moving it down toward him and even with like a slight extender they're like you gotta move bro and it was like i felt such a visceral sadness where i'm like this they

kicked him off yeah because he had because they were like you can't safely ride this and he had to get off and he lumbered away and i remember like i didn't know who he was and i never saw him again but i was so sad in that moment because yeah even at like 12 i was like oh my god dude that guy has been so fucking stressed the entire line. That's all that's been on his mind. And he gets here and like his fears, fears are realized. And it's like,

dude, that is, that's fucking sad. I saw the exact same shit. I was at six flags like four or five years ago. It's not uncommon. It's not uncommon. So first of all,

you got to keep in mind, we're at Superman, the ride and six flags over Georgia. Badass ride, by the way, it's you get in it and it locks you in and then it tilts you forward. So you are in like the Superman flying position and then you go on like a crazy ride.

And we, I've got like the special tickets or whatever that like get me to the very front of the line and get me in the front, like carve the roller coaster. It's a little expensive, but it's worth it. And they're right there behind us. So I can hear every word of this going down. And it's not the guy.

It's his girlfriend. She doesn't fit. And he does? He's smaller than she is. Oh, she's huge. Did she make him get off? She's huge. Did she make him get off? She's huge. So they're like, at first,

this young black guy who is working the ride tries to force it. Like, take a deep breath in. He literally says that. He's like, he's a SWAT officer kicking a door. I like this guy, though. I feel like she hasn't taken a deep breath in a long time he's trying to get her in there he's like take a deep breath in and he's like

really rocking it trying to get it to lock down over her fupa and and it won't go it won't and i'm just like looking out the corner of my eye i'm not trying to be an asshole but i gotta see what's going down behind me and i'm looking at my girlfriend like you know what's going on right here she's like oh my god she doesn't fit and i'm like she's not gonna fit and sure enough he's like i'm sorry ma'am it the ride won't lock it wouldn't be i i think what he's thinking is like what he's trying to say is like it wouldn't be safe for you to ride the ride just hanging on real tight like i don't know what he's thinking like it wouldn't be safe to let you continue. And she's like, oh, okay. And so they both, of course, because, like, what guy, like, is going to ride the ride? I'll see you in two minutes.

I'll meet you at the bottom. I like that that black guy came. He's like, this wouldn't be safe. I like to imagine her, like, five minutes later buying, like, a crazy snack at the carnival. And he comes over. He's like, no, this wouldn't be safe either. Yeah, no. Corndogs are for the thin.

She wouldn't fucking fit. I can't believe the guy got off too. Of course he got off. If I were there with a fat friend. Girlfriend. Well, I wouldn't be with someone that couldn't fit on a roller coaster. That's absurd. Can we go with a canoe guy though can we go to canoe there's no way there's no way like like

all right let's just say your girlfriend's too petite how about that that this you can probably make work in your mind your girlfriend is too little for the ride i'm not leaving i waited in line you're seriously gonna stand where the shoes are near the cubbies. She will be gone. And so will your shoes. When you get back from Superman, the ride. So I'll go to the water park.

It's that dude. It's that dude that told her the dude that told her it wasn't safe. And you take off on the ride. And he's like, now that we're alone, it was safe the whole time. You know what I noticed? You know what I noticed? There was a lot more slack in that, now that we're alone, it was safe the whole time. You know what I noticed? You know what I noticed?

There was a lot more slack in that, in that harness. I just didn't feel like letting her ride. Let's go guys. Have fun. You know what? You know, I know it's about fat people now that I'm fat. Fat people make a lot of like excuses. I did.

I'm going to project everything I do onto fat people right now. Okay. I'll do it. So, and I'm going to get my l fat people right now okay i'll do it um so and i'm gonna get my licks in right now fat people while i'm fat because if i ever do get like fitter people will be like hey don't say that i'll be like bro i was saying that when i was fat but like fat people like like you make excuses like uh you walk and you're like i gotta sit like me you know now it's the ankle but before I'd be like, I'm really tired. It's like, yeah, you're tired. You're fat.

That's why you're tired. You got to walk more. I'd be tired too if I had a 100-pound backpack on. Yeah, you're lifting basically. Exactly, yeah. You have like me, for me, it's like 100-pound belt. I got like 100-pound belt on. And I'm like walking around with like this like spare tire

and I'm like, I got to sit like spare tire and i'm like i gotta sit and it's like no you gotta keep walking you actually have to do things and i feel like that i did i did sleep on a lot of shit like everything day to day during the pandemic i was like this is great bro i'm lying here uber eats is coming the food snacking everyone's gaming and watching tv so i don't need to feel guilty but really it's like at some point I had to, and I shouldn't have waited so long. Like, now my ankle hurts. My baby ankle. My baby ankle.

Before I compromised my ankle, I should have been like, you know what, Harley? Get your fat ass doing anything, bro. Walk around your kitchen table. Just be less of a fat. Like, you know when you're being a fat slob fat ass. That ties into what I. Were you able to lie to yourself that you weren't

as fat as you were because that's i have a talent for that i have a gift i will tell myself like i've been fatter i don't know he's right he's right i got the 300 that's the fattest and i'm like great now i'm here here i knew that i said that 85 the whole time i'm like i've been fatter i've been 287 and then i look at i'm. I'm like, well, now what do we do? And you don't know that you're at 300 because there's that period of scale fear where you're like, I don't even want to see the damage that I've done. All right. And so you just you start off trying to diet half-assed. And then when you feel like you got a little bit of progress, you weigh yourself.

That's how I've been. This is how I gain weight. All right. So first of all, background, there is subcutaneous fat and visceral fat. Subcutaneous fat is right there under the cover. It's what gives you the rolls. It's what turns your arms from like that deltoid bicep tri bump to just sort of a hot dog, you know, a straight thing. It's what gives like hide your abs, that subcutaneous fat. Then visceral fat is in your organs and it just

increases your general size. So I put on a subcutaneous fat like everybody does, but then it just piles on and on and visceral, right? I just get bigger and bigger. There's more Woody there to love, but it doesn't like your ribs just keep expanding. Yeah. Like my ribs get, so I have a big rib cage to start with. And then the belly just like expands out, but never rolls or anything. There's never a flab that like tips over or anything like that. It's just wider and wider. All in the middle there where it's unhealthy, but easier to lie about. To lie about to me.

And so, you know, I hit like the number goes up on the scale. The number goes up on the scale. And I'm like, I goes up on the scale the number goes up on the scale and I'm like I have been doing push-ups so that's probably what it is probably all of us no because I worked on my back it's a huge muscle

it actually weighs a lot I'd look over like I'd see myself in the mirror from the back and there's like pumpkin love handles oh my god it's the worst picture of yourself when you're in a fat and there's these like pumpkin love handles. Oh my God. It's the worst. When you're in a fat phase from the back,

bending over to pick something up. Yeah. It is heartbreaking. To all the fat folks. It is the most devastating thing to see like, who's that? Oh, oh no. That's me.

Me dominating that pumpkin patch. So I'm down 17 pounds so far. And I think like chest and belly and stuff, it looks better, but it's just like a slightly better version of the previous me, right? Because I put on a lot of fat in the middle, but I've shrunk a lot in ways

that I think are not obvious. But my jeans, when I put them on, I haven't unzipped the fly or unbuttoned the button in like weeks now. I just put them on like sweatpants. Like my jeans are loose on me. Starves of new jeans. It is, yeah.

I have a belt on them. Your shoes on. I have a belt on them. It looks like you're poorly dressed as Scarecrow. It's all bunched up and stuff at the waist. I bought new shorts. They come tomorrow. We'll see how it fits.

Of course, you bought new shorts. That's what I wear more. I'm wearing them right now. It's nebulaire. So what did you do? Did you commit to something that you dropped 17 pounds? What happened? This is how it started right

so i was still lying to my can i see you by the way can i see you i guess i just yeah bro you look great right now you look yeah 17 pounds i feel like 17 pounds more than that like maybe you're like a little skinny fat not a big deal though yeah i have what i call emerging abs like i don't want to show them no no you must understand what he said yeah i pulled my gut out and slapped it i think you could he wasn't saying you're currently skinny fat he said 70 pounds ago you were oh yeah i could see that being skinny fat but like still you look good in clothes like a lot of people that watch your show probably like don't even look good in clothes i got clothes i don't look good in and when i say that i mean like people like myself like i got clothes i don't look good and i have like a shirt that

buttons up and like middle buttons like popping. So I'm just saying like at least for you, you can still wake up, get dressed, and hide it through layers. Some people like – A lot of compliments on my Twitch stream. Now, here's the thing I have that you don't. I'm very old. So they would look at me and they'd be like, what are you aging like fine wine? You look so good for – I'll be 48 in like less than two weeks.

Like you look so good for 47, 48. And like, like I'm on this sliding scale. So all you have to do is be like, not decrepit. And they're like, Woody looking nice, looking nice. You know, like, aren't you in like the crypt keeper, the same age and you look way better than that guy. So like I would get compliments on my stream and like it was just easy to me to like perpetuate this lie and here's how the weight loss started

um i have this crooked bottom tooth and i got braces and with the braces suddenly snacking became this huge inconvenience right you you have to take the braces out you have to brush the top you have to brush the bottom anytime you anything, you have to brush your teeth before you put the braces back on. And snacks of convenience. Nothing is convenient about snacking anymore. It's like a 15-minute chore. And more than that, it's a very conscious decision. You don't just sit down and, like, not wear braces for a couple hours while you casually nibble on this or that.

Like, it's just a deliberate, like entry that that you do every time you eat and that's how like the first eight pounds or so came off i just snacked less and then that created this sort of like avalanche ramped up the exercise too in the middle of that at the after about eight pounds like i guess a little success bred some enthusiasm around it. And my friends are getting fitter and that was motivating for me. And, uh, you know, it was like, man, like I, I don't know, like this is motivating and my success is motivating and let's take it to the next level. So then I started like a track every calorie now on is it chronometer is that how that's pronounced yeah chronometer chronometer anyway chronometer works too but a chronometer is what

measures the speed of bullets so it's a little a little confusing chronometer it is so so i track all my calories on chronometer and i started lifting more and more i lift five or six days a week now and uh i just i got i'm like head over heels into it now but uh but yeah it all started with the braces and just uh snowballed from there you have braces on right now no so i have invisalign braces i take them out for the show when did you get that october i just literally just paid off invisalign and i've been waiting for my first trays oh cool yeah yeah what's it was just annoying because i went to go do it like a year ago and when i went to go i wanted to uh get like uh i went to the dentist and i was like i want uh veneers like steve harvey yes like i want

yeah white like i want i said i want to smile and it to be funny like just on it that's what i wanted to increase my steve harveyness like and he's like let me take a look at your mouth first sir your black face is impeccable but we can't do the teeth it's like incredibly uncomfortable the way you walked in here he was like yeah your teeth everything it's all garbage in here you want you should probably fix this up first so i getting that done because i actually have like a 90 functional overbite so like when i bite it goes over it and it's not a problem and it never bothered me but what bothered me is i just was like my teeth at the top are square

and when i smile you see like the black there it's like they're so little they're very narrow so I was like you know let's like spread this shit out a little bit you know let's see what's going on I mean I didn't want to go get big funny teeth and also because my teeth probably from like because I love drinking diet coke and like uh drinking coffee smoking hash yeah 420 gang where my fat stoner's at and uh and i my teeth are like kind of like they're like they're i don't want to say they're yellow and i don't want to say like they're blue but like they're kind of both in a weird way it's like they're see-through in a weird way they're like i don't say they're gray it's just it's it's tough to see on camera because

everything else you've said i know i know i don't want to say my teeth are green but i mean they're green they're like it's like it's like translucent it's weird i said anyways i've been calling them ghost teeth for like a couple years now and i went and i saw him also it's like yeah my teeth are haunted so i just want them gone i don't want to say my teeth are unhealthy but if i I were to bite you, you'd be in serious trouble. Yeah. He was like, honestly, he's like, we straighten these bad boys out. We just whiten them and you stop doing your shit. He's like, you will not have to spend the money to get Steve Harvey teeth. And I was kind of bummed out.

But I was like, you know what? Let's just do the Invisalign first anyways. And then let's get there. So I'm just starting. And bro, the fact that like i've already started my weight loss journey and you're down 17 pounds by accident sounds like getting invisalign to the move dude all these fat guys listening to the podcast right now by the way like my teeth are crooked too maybe so what's fun about invisalign to me is like so i had a um

i call it my snaggle tooth. I had a bottom tooth that was really crooked and higher than the others. It just stuck up like one fence post that wasn't broken. And you can look at your trays. They give you like eight weeks or like 12 weeks worth of trays. And you're like, these are my March teeth. These are my April teeth. These are, you know what?

My May teeth, not half bad, not perfect. But you know, this is where we're going to be. And I my April teeth. You know what? My May teeth, not half bad. Not perfect, but this is where we're going to be. And I can do that. I can look at my tray and just be like, look at the progress we've made. My tooth is like 60% better now. You're ever tempted to skip a tray? Yes. Dude, but they fuck you because

they give you new trays as soon as you need them. I got trays the day after I needed it. like one day late. So you can't just speed up the schedule because you're motivated and like you wear them 23 hours a day or something. Like it doesn't work. Mine are going to have elastic anticipated. Send new ones. Just say that.

I can't come in because of the virus. Did you think about getting braces though instead of invisible invisalign no because i don't want to get roasted by the internet that hard i literally i actually thought about getting it just because it'll be funny yeah i think bro 36 years old and i get braces like of course but like it's just funny hosting epic mealtime with like full-on braces like it's i always thought a grown man with braces is like the ugliest funniest thing to me you get the golden black rubber bands and i would need i need rubber bands in mine i actually have to get i'm getting elastics in the invisalign anyways mine come with elastics so i uh i had

braces when i was uh like i was homeschooled for a couple years and so we knocked that out when i was homeschooled so i didn't even have to go to school with braces and uh i wore them for a year and got my front teeth all like straight and then right you can't play with all the guns you've played with and have fucked up teeth you know way too much it's crazy looking the braces are not very noticeable i'll have a man and my wife doesn't know if they're in or out she asks me like are you wearing them right now so it's not that noticeable but you have to wear it all the time don't you have to wear it like 22 hours a day or something something like that we'll circle back to that but yes ish um so where was it going wearing it 15 doesn't oh oh but i thought it would be nice to get them during the pandemic like before i had

them and i didn't know how visible they were like if you're gonna wear a surgical mask anyway this is a great time to have braces. On the how often you wear them, the orthodontist says 22 hours a day. And we talked to the dentist and he's like, you know, that's one of those shoot for the stars, at least you hit the moon kind of scenarios. You really need to be wearing them 15 hours a day. Don't tell me this shit. I'll take shortcuts. Don't tell me this shit yeah i'll take shortcuts don't tell me this

this whole pandemic thing couldn't have happened at a better point ever in my life because it's like i'm like like i'm loving it because like i'm locked down with the probation anyway and like like i can't do shit and it's like it's almost like the federal government's putting everyone else on probation so i'm just sitting here like, yeah, it's not so fun, is it? Oh, you can't travel to another state? Fuck you. Yeah, I have to get piss tested every three months, all right? I can't travel outside this district without permission.

I can't see my family without permission. So it's perfect timing. I just want to tell harley one more tip i when you first put them on like at the beginning of the week you can feel it like just bullying your teeth and you'll know that like you're done for the week when that's not the case anymore like you put them on it's basically no pressure so the beginning of every week is it going to be hurting a little bit hurting is strong um It did hurt the day I got them. Like maybe the first mold wasn't as perfect.

But by week two, my teeth had moved to match that mold. And now every sequential one is right on plan. How long? There's a tightness-ish. Like you can tell they're working. No, but how long do you have to wear them? Like in your mouth? Like in the cycle.

So they, it's funny when they first like sold them to me, they're like 12 to 15 months. Yeah. And then when they next talked about it, they said 15 to 18 months. And now they say 18. I'm like, what, what, like is 12 just off the recipe off the menu? I mean to say like, is it gone? So we're talking about a year and a half on the long. Yeah.

Two years. So my mouth is clearly fucked. And why are you trying to straighten out your teeth you trying to fuck young bitches or what what's going on there were two issues one don't lie to me why are you straightening your teeth i'm telling you the truth i i was a little self-conscious about the snaggle tooth like every so often you know when like let's say 10 years after youtube 10 years after being on youtube now you're like this tooth. So listen, if you had a big pimple on your eyebrow and you knew it, and every so often when we talked, you caught me snapping my eyes onto your pimple, sometimes conversations can go like that.

And I'm like, he just looked at my tooth. I just saw it. I know what it's like. He just fucking – You're so – You're so wrong on that tooth. I never noticed your tooth until yeah well so i've noticed me in this little camera i've hung out with woody many times i only know about

his tooth because like when you're hanging out with me he's like you know uh you know i got a lot of things going for me i do have this tooth don't look at it are you looking at my tooth i highlighted it so there's that uh there's that there was a self-conscious i was stop looking at my tooth and it was it gets a little worse every year and with the front teeth getting more crowded the back teeth got spaced and i get food in between my teeth literally every time i ate so our viewers have heard this too many times but that's why i got it also yeah it's something that i think you were really self-conscious about but i always thought was like like you compared to a pimple on your forehead it's like nowhere near that like like you're a great looking guy like when you when you're rocking the beard like

like i think that you think that me and taylor are like are like making fun of you somehow or it's like an inside joke where we're like nudging each other. Like when we're complimenting on your beard, you look great with the beard, with the salt and pepper and everything. And that tooth, it's just a little bit of character. It's like a beauty mark. Too bad though.

Say goodbye. But it's say goodbye to that. Get out of here, man. That tooth is packed in his bag. Yeah. The beard, the salt and pepper beard is nice.

Jackie is being silly by not embracing that. But like, what are you talking about saying to your dentist or orthodontist no i don't want the actual braces because i'll get roasted i remember a few years ago and i was getting all my fake teeth taken care of they were like all right well we can either take this composite which is what i did fix your teeth or we can give you braces and fix your existing ones and i like, this is not an option for me. You're like, braces? I'm not gay. I can't be fat, retarded, and be an adult with braces.

So when I got my braces, I talked to the orthodontist. And I'm like, listen, I make my living on camera. We cannot put brackets on my front top four teeth. That's a non-starter and they're like yeah we'd really like to put one there and i'm like well then i'd really like to not have braces can we work around it or can we not work around it and they're like it's cool it's cool we won't put braces on the top front four that your visible teeth your smile teeth i get in there and they're like yep fucking front and center we're putting one right there. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, we can't.

We can't. No, we're not gonna. I'll get out of this chair. They're like, yeah, but it says here on the sheet that we're going to do that. I'm like, I talked to Dr. Gladwell and he said no. We had an agreement. I guess he didn't write it down, but we're not doing it. And they're like,

well, you know, I actually think it'll be fine without it. You know, it's just there to stop tracking or keep tracking, whatever the fuck it was. It's something to do with tracking. They don't think we need it.

And, uh, now I have trays with a hole, like where it would grab onto the bracket and no bracket behind it because fucking not the top center for, yeah, I think we had to do a PK on the, bracket and no bracket behind it because fucking not the top center for yeah I think we had to do a PK on the night that I got my teeth

remolded and everything and I was laying there it took like six hours or something ridiculous of continuous laying there while they first they build out all the teeth in like big blocks it's like and then they have to shave it down but like you're laying there if like the tiniest bit of your tooth one random spot chips all day.

You're like, oh, there it is. Oh, there it is. Yes. I found it. There it is. This, they, they made, if you were to stack four quarters, that's how thick my teeth were. That is so good. There was no room in my mouth.

I'm like, my tongue doesn't even move around. And I was like, how am I going to do any of my job? I was talking. I don't have anything else going for me. And then they came and I was like, I got up. Cause like the doctor, whoever's taking a break.

Cause it was such a long thing. And I like looked in the, in the mirror there. And I looked like, like a family guy or Simpsons character where it's just one solid white, no lines in between brick of cartoon teeth. And it was – I was so stressed. I didn't have the TV on. I was just laying there stressing my ass off for the next like three hours as he shaved things down.

In my head, I'm like, there is no way this motherfucker can make anything even resembling teeth in my mouth from this mass. So your teeth look individual to me. Are they? Did they eventually go independent on all of them or are they connected? They basically, like you would do a cracker, scored the teeth. So there's the illusion that there's gaps between all these front ones, but it's just one solid piece. That's how they do brickwork sometimes. Yeah.

solid piece that's how they do brick work sometimes yeah brick work on a state building where it's concrete but they roll that panel over it to make it like it's fancy and old-timey yeah but like you were talking about veneers harley that's that's what i'm going to move to in the next few yeah they are expensive as shit you got to go to brazil bro no i'm not i'm just gonna i'm just gonna use my that was what i liked i liked watching uh some i said one of my guilty pledges is watching youtubers just like youtubers tiktokers whatever anything just just the decisions made um like one of my all-time favorite youtube videos is uh foozy tube if you guys know him when he tattooed hair on his head he was going bald and he went to go get like a tattoo

and he was really not even really going bald but it was just something he was self conscious about and he went to go get like a tattoo and the person who does tattoos was like oh I could fix your hair and he like went to this person and they like I shouldn't laugh it's not funny she tattooed his hair

like she tattooed the hair on his head like fate like it was like it was like a drawing on his head and it's the craziest video it's like 30 minutes long he took it down one point i don't know if it's back up but it was amazing and like just like stuff like that like you know like what i'm doing what i'm kind of interested in you know i'm putting on invisalign so and i did like the idea of veneers so like when i see other youtubers i'll sometimes see them smiling in videos and stuff and i'll be like oh this youtuber got fake teeth this youtuber they got their teeth done at some point you know within the last few years sometimes not as obvious as someone tattooing their hair on their head but like i do i do enjoy that i like watching

all the hair plugs like in marvel marvel movies when you see some of the actors like their hair looks like better in endgame than it did in their first marvel movie and i like the guys to do that or has he always had hair who i think he's always had hair uh maybe i'm yeah but if you look no no if you go and you look at like the like the the front center like that's when you could be like um you know, this person got some hair. I thought, I didn't look at it specifically right now, but I think like RDJ might be a guy also. It is guys that have hair,

but they just put more hair. You know, even if you look at the guy that played Captain America, it just looks like his hair is like so much fuller at the end than when it's in the first one oh my yes oh yeah him matthew mcconaughey too which is fake on michael scott though was he losing his hair and they put it back oh yes he was once upon a time someone told me that he actually had great hair and they made it look like he was you can't make that happen without shaving no no that's that was

that was i remember looking this up a long time ago i believe that's what was said when it wasn't admitted that he had done this they were like oh yeah they made his hair look like that yeah he got hair plugs he got hair plugs but they also did that thing where they spray some bullshit in there along with like those like fibers i use they've got like a pile of it's almost like fiberglass but they sort of and they like spray some shit i call it hair pepper if you look closely you're like oh i could i could pick that right out of there like like you can see they filled them all in i would use that but i i was um super boy for halloween and i painted my hair all black

and it got so thick and likeuscious. I'm like, don't get addicted to this, Woody. This is good shit, though. It's $3 a can? I can do this for life. God damn it. Every year he's Superboy now. There are a lot of people that you should like that, actually, that spray their hair thicker

and things like that. I don't know why guys have to be self-conscious about that look at all the fake shit women do to themselves like i saw a funny post on on um reddit the other day and it was this kid who had just drawn on abs super obvious as fuck and he's like what you got a problem with this women have been drawing their eyebrows on for years but he had also drawn a big fake cock down his leg yeah women do all kinds of shit i almost feel like like listen my 22 year old audience here's something you might not know about syncing up with the woman forever sometime around 26 27 she'll get her first gray hair and then you'll pay $250 a haircut for the rest

of her life. You might not know that now, but you'll learn. That's absolutely right. I have bought many of those $250 haircuts. And, and I have also like, I had a girlfriend who like started plucking her.

First of all, I like, I wouldn't say bushy eyebrows, but like natural eyebrows on women. You can pluck them a little bit. Shape them a little. It's just aggressive. What's that?

Eyebrows like mine are Harley's. Thick, aggressive. Yeah, yeah. I like eyebrows on people. You don't take in some of this personally. With my half eyebrows. I'll lend you some. Anyway, carry on. You can get those tacked on. I'm taking some of this personally with my half eyebrows. Anyway, carry on. You can get those tacked on.

Oh, I should do the fucking Superboy spray on them. No, no. Just get some fucking eyebrows stuck in there. I bet it costs less than $2,000 to get new eyebrows. Just take them from the back of my head. Yes, you take them from the back. What if they grow six inches long? Well, you just now mine grow long like like like like maybe every month I do this thing where I go right here pull up and all of them that like stretch out

I take my beard trim ago. I don't know yes, tolerate. Yeah shit. He'd pluck you Shitty camera you can see yeah,, rogue eyebrows. I know that. I got that too. It looks like I'm going, oh, what did you say? I did the move that Kyle said recently also. I went and I did do that. I like see these, all these guys. Oh, go back.

Go back. You're not done yet. Oh, my God. No, I got to go back. Now I look like, I don't know if you've ever played Tekken, but like that. No, I got to go back. Now I look like, I don't know if you've ever played Tekken,

but like that. This is my final evil Jew form. This with like a bald head. Dude, you're like, you're going to have eyebrows like the wizened 80-year-old priest in an HBO show with those thickets. That's what you've got. Yeah, and what's really, because I got one ear hair, like there's just one

hair like in the ear that's just like thick. And I know he's the fucking messenger. He's like right on the inside of the ear. We only have one that's cute. No, no, but this guy's the fucking messenger. Like I pull him out and he's like thick and

hard and he's just like you got me but my fucking we're all coming we're gonna be there in 30 years we are all there and there are others like me bigger and thicker and stronger i got a tool to pluck my ear hair it's like this little thing it's like a spring and when you squeeze it the spring compresses and so all the coils that spring like pluck any hair that's around it and you can like in one fell swoop like pluck your whole ear i don't know like like like most of them are like little thin hairs but like maybe there's there might be 10 like real hairs in each ear if i just let them go here's the thing i only have the very finest thinnest hairs growing out of my ear, but I'm not sure that's better

because with my nearly 48 year old eyes, they're invisible, right? When I was like 27, if I had a thin, fine ear growing, that shit would get plucked. That wouldn't last. Or maybe I'm just shaving and I fucking zip the ear with it real quick and then cut it down to size now they can get almost a centimeter long before they catch my attention i got old man like wings growing i lucked out i've never had an ear hair it's the only place in my body i don't have oh i'm sure that exactly like i've looked at ass hair i don't have ass hair back hair i'm starting to see some shoulder, but no back hair. And very little nose and ear hair. I have nose hair that I pluck. I have ear hair that I pluck.

I have no shoulder hair. The only hair on my back is right in the small of my back. But I get some nair back there. That's all gone. I nair that once a month. I would argue that small of back hair and center chest hair are my favorite like body hair places yeah that's what i've got i've got a strip you've been uh gifted with that with the hair placement i am getting a it's not a lot you would you probably wouldn't even see it but i can see it

i've been lifting so i look at my lats and say i'm like a teenage boy shirtless in the mirror now and then and uh i'm looking and there's a little bit of hair like on the back of my lat. I'm like, and my father has much more hair than me. So that's my future. All right. So here's what you got to do. And this goes for anybody

who's got unwanted body hair. Get Nair for men. And before you get in the shower, you rub it on. And then while you're brushing your teeth, you let it sit. You set a timer on your phone so you don't forget five minutes tops all right you go past five minutes things can get

crazy you can burn yourself but like every bit of that hair will wash off of you completely and it's just gone it's gone with stubble or like stubble yeah yeah it'll grow back it's not gone forever but like it's the easiest way to like, cause if you're back there with a razor, you might miss it or my half ass get it. But if you just take like a handful of nair and just rub it on your like lats or your, your shoulders or your back, or like, in my case, my ass, you know, wherever you want hair gone from your balls. I put on my balls before. It's a little scary. I don't want to get my balls. So I would be afraid of you. You don't want to get chemical burns on my balls, so I would be afraid to do it. You don't want chemical

burns on your balls, so what I would do is at first I went three months. You're not supposed to, though. No. Yeah. I don't want to. We put whatever we want on our balls. I'll put barriers down there. I'm not going to let some fucking Nair box tell me what goes on my balls. Because that shit's got to go on labias

all the time. That's what the sensitive skin one's for. It's for pussies. So I put that right on my balls, right all around my asshole, everywhere. That's hair-free down there, all right? Hair-free. It makes... Is it more sensitive, or is it just like in a pink bottle,

in the same thing? I think it's a pink bottle, and it's the same thing. I just get Nair from men. That's what I use. It's in like a gray bottle with a blue pump handle. It's very masculine.

I used it once, and I got too scared, and I rinsed it off beforehand because I was like, I put some like not even on the balls, just on like the above the dick pubic area and like I don't know. I just got nervous and I was like, this isn't for me.

It's got to smell. The bald guy with a beard look down there. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I actually put rubber gloves on when I apply it because you're getting so much on your hands that it melts off a layer of your skin. I feel like my hands feel fucked up for 24 hours.

So I'm in there like a fucking surgeon with rubber gloves on applying this shit. Dude, this is literally one of those products that you know how we look back and they're like look at those idiots they had heroin and cough drops in like 30 years ago do you know people used to chemical burn their hair off of their genitals with yeah fly by night if you don't use an air and you have any length to it like i do now right it's really not you probably wouldn't even see it but i can you can do electrolysis or laser. And I'm like, maybe I should do like a permanent solution.

How bad is it? How big a deal is it? I know someone who's getting laser treatments on their vagina and their butthole right now. And it's weeks. Like it's been – like they get a treatment like every three weeks or every month month for six months or something like that. It's just funny to me. It ain't cheap. Making this super high-tech laser and it actually can cut a specific thing.

And then we just have bitches on their tummy like, on my ass! Get it in my ass! The inventor is just like, well, this to uh to do mining work robotically on mars but it turns out it's great at taking hair off of women's assholes so here i am but like pubic hair has to be like literally a hundred times more than the little lat stuff you can barely see oh yeah because like it must be a much easier task i think it's so easy like i'm telling you like like it's like magic when you get in the shower i have this like loofah thing in the shower and uh like when i go to like wash the uh the the nared up area off the hair

just is just like gone it's like like wax on wax off and like completely naked no hair left like occasionally there's like one or two hairs that were like fucking pumping iron down there or something and they could take the acid but you just either nair again the next day or just hit them with a razor that's the other thing like if anything survives the nair a razor like they're all brittle and sickly so like you can literally like tear them off like they're so weak or you can just like a razor will like make super short work of them they really do come off like that like even if i left it on there for like one minute and like grabbed a tuft of hair and it's like when charlie starts pulling out his teeth and it's always sunny we're just oh another one like you just grab it and you're

like there was no resistance there there was no pull of the skin it's just yeah clearly disintegrated yeah but you again you've got to set that five minute timer i think the bottle might even recommend six or seven minutes i don't remember but like i found that five minutes is a real safe zone because maybe because i got sensitive skin and i'm like putting it on my ass putting on my asshole so like i don't want a burnt asshole so like no no nobody wants that so like five minutes seems like the safe zone. And then I can go back and do it again the next day if we miss anything. But it's amazing.

But if you go too far, you will burn the fuck out of yourself. Because I have done that. What's the name of that disease or condition, whatever, where you don't have any hair? Alopecia. I bet that has some upsides. Oh, yeah. Like an 11-year year old girl down there primo

you know what the baldness even on chicks i don't like it doesn't it's not eye grabbing to me but the lack of eyebrows always is have you ever seen that video you know how they'll have those like cartoons where it's like they're 500 years old and like people will rationalize like oh no she looks like she's nine but she's 500 so i'm yeah pedophile i'm surprised like a genre of like benjamin button porn hasn't occurred where it's like she's 81 idiot in this universe people age backwards it only ever she's a toddler have you ever seen that video where like the couple's on a blind date and she tells the guy, she's like, I actually have alopecia. She's like, this is a wig. He's like, show me.

And she takes it off. And she's very beautiful to begin with. And her eyebrows are clearly drawn on. She takes it off and like, she's not my cup of tea, but she's still beautiful. And he's just like smiling. Like he's into it. He's just like smiling like he he's into it he's just like oh you're beautiful he's like she goes to put it back on he's like leave it off and i'm just like yeah i'm like they're getting married that's perfect she has found also now and also it's fake probably

right probably faked it they probably lied They probably lied. It warmed my fucking heart. I remember seeing that and being like, whoa. The internet is a beautiful place. It was the before times. It was the before times. Before we knew. She's super fucking hot. She looks like the chick from

Star Trek 2. No, you guys aren't going to know that. Never mind. Oh yeah, yeah, Star Trek 2. I'm not going to bring Star Trek 2. Everybody's going to fucking get that. Wrath of Khan's a great movie. I like the second one more. It is the second one!

There's two Wrath of Khans. Oh, the sequel. You just have terrible taste. Which one? Is that the William Shatner one? There's two Wrath of Khans. Oh, the sequel. Oh, well, you just have terrible taste. I agree to disagree. Is that the William Shatner one? Yes, it's the William Shatner. William Shatner was the one that Kyle likes, and I think actually the remake was better.

The remake was bad. The original was excellent. Of the Wrath of Khan. You know, when they made Star Trek into darkness, and they brought Khan in. Oh, yeah. So I never watched like i like star trek but i could never watch the old ones i just didn't have it i never could watch

the shatner ones i really liked next generation a lot and all the next generation movies and then i was excited when they remade it like jj abrams talks i was like now finally i can enjoy some old school star trek in a new way. And I was kind of bummed that I didn't know about Khan before. Because I remember that looking back, like JJ, he lied in interviews. And they're like, oh, is it Khan? Is Benedict Cumberbatch playing Khan? He was like, no.

I can confirm it's not it. It's not it. And then like in the movie theater, I saw it in LA. And people were always enthused there. And he like benedict cumberbatch at one point he's like i'm con and everyone literally started screaming in the theater like people stood up and they're fucking they put their hands up they're like i'm like and like i was like oh shit i wish i wish i cared like i could have gone up right now instead i'm like so the original star trek tv show was

garbage the movies are good every other one so two is good four is good six is good um the the wrath of khan though ricardo montalban reprising his role as as dr soon khan from the fucking 20th century he's like a super soldier, genetically engineered hybrid man with his team of fucking genetically engineered super soldiers. Like it's so fucking good. Like Ricardo Montalban has no one to act to.

Like one thing to keep in mind is like whenever you see Ricardo Montalban and William Shatner interacting, they're never in the same room and they're never even hearing each other in real life when they're acting So what you've got is some chick reading a script reading reading William Shatner's lines flat

You'll never get away with this con and he's like from the pits of hell. I stab at the cook and he's just killing it He's just killing. He's so good. It's I love that movie. That is the best Star Trek movie ever made. Now, I do like the J.J. Abrams first Star Trek. After that, they got a little out of – they lost me. When we start solving every single intergalactic emergency with rock music, I'm just like – when they're BMXing around to solve problems. Do you like Discovery? Do you like Discovery? No. I think that's an abomination.

It is a cool action show, but it doesn't feel like Star Trek. But I like it. It's cool. It's neat. Star Trek is extreme sports. Star Wars is Jedis doing flips. And Star Trek is regular people doing base jumping, MMA, motocross, and shit like that that that's what star trek is now and i like popcorn movies sometimes and and that's what it is yeah i hate it i hate that that's what

it has become they were cool i thought those movies the tone was really cool i'm surprised we didn't get any other ones of them yet or whatever well luckily for me the uh the russian guy um his car killed him. Yeah, that's sad. Yeah, he killed himself. That was crazy. Well, not on purpose. He parks the car, and then he goes to check. And it turned on him.

He goes to open the gate or something, and the car smushes him against the gate, and then he's just trapped there dying slowly for an indeterminate amount of time. That's what happens when you make a bad movie. Oh, shit. Yeah. Fake catches up to you the i looked into this apparently something about his car made it harder than others to tell if you're in park and he's not the only person who like walked out of the car thinking it was in park but wasn't what kind of car was it your suv i think it was a Jeep. It was a SUV, I think. It was a Cherokee, maybe. I had a Cherokee in my head, too. There's like a recall on it or something after that.

I think there was. You know what the best part is? His character's the one who drives the fucking spaceship. Well, that was just acting. No, I'm Anton something. Yelchik or something like that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of glad. Ichick or something? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm kind of glad. I hope that his death is what canceled the movies. I was so upset with him. I also hate fucking Picard. Patrick Stewart limping his way through a bullshit fucking story. That's nonsense, too. When he says Picard, he means the most recent series called Picard. I watched three episodes of that.

I watched the whole fucking thing. I three episodes of that i didn't uh i watched the whole fucking thing i commit to shit that i hate good was it good it was garbage it was garbage it was awful they're starting a whole other show with that guy isn't he like there he is like 80 and they already have started another show and the whole season of it is out and they're trying to make a second season oh that's why i stopped watching i was early on in the beginning like semi spoilers kind of not really though but at the beginning he was it started off with him being uh like it's like he did he made a choice or something and no one liked him and he was like he had bad press at the beginning of it and i was like i don't want to start here can i just get like i just got over star wars which was like so like your legends aren't your legends

turns out they're shitty people or whatever and this also started off with like this isn't he's not a legend like and i'm like bro at a certain point like you know what like let's like like people that do like crazy amazing things and then fuck up something you have to like give them a break a bit and like picard did so much to hear like the mistake that established the season i was like come on give my dude a fucking break what's the mistake tell us the mistake was um the romulan planet was going to be like killed by their supernova or something like that and he was like organizing the uh the evacuation of them and uh and so he had promised the bromelains that he would save them but at the same time there was this terrorist attack on mars on the fleet and so the federation didn't want to like commit all the ships that

that uh picard had promised so they pull the support away and now picard looks like the liar and the romans are stuck in this like limbo zone where a lot of them die and they end up on a refugee planet and now the Romulans hate him and the Federation hates him because he sided with sided with the Romulans and it's just it's it was also like an impossible scenario where it's like come on it's not bad with what was like it was very clear that like I would assume public opinion at the time would have been like yo like let's take all the factors into consideration here. But instead, like we banish you to your gigantic winery in France.

Yeah. And it's like, wait a minute. Did none of the other people in this universe watch the last six movies? He saved the universe. That's all I thought about. I was like, bro, come on. He's like saved the galaxy so many times. He saved Earth three or four different fucking times.

You would think that he's so famous and so beloved that he could just murder someone in the streets, like that old adage, and everybody would be like, well, you get this one for free, but come on, Captain. Michael Jackson, like Michael Jackson. Made some great hits, hits for a long time. But we still want to hear Michael Jackson on the radio.

I side with Michael Jackson through that all. I've gone back and forth two or three times, but I'm back around to not caring what he did to the children. I thought you were saying Now you're where I've been the whole time. Yeah, don't care what he did to the kids abc was a good song let him rape i was like this this is where i was at

i i think uh i think he did that i think he's a sick person i think it was a terrible thing that's what i think i think he did it i don't back him doing that or anything but if aliens came to this planet they were like we're gonna fucking destroy everything unless you present us a human of what you're capable of and we just send up like michael jackson through technology like a michael jackson hologram aliens are like we said a human exactly rapist deep into the enemy i just think if he's singing and dancing and talking to them like alright you guys seem pretty cool

as long as they don't think he starts fucking moonwalking and they're afraid of our technology yeah show me what you got yeah there's a Rick and Morty episode where they're gonna like destroy the earth unless we show them what we have

and it's a singing and Morty episode where they're going to destroy the earth unless we show them what we have. And it's a singing and dancing competition. Yeah, Michael Jackson, exactly there. I say, show me what you got to my dog, like literally all the time. Every time my dog's happy and I come to them, I'm like, show me what you got. Doing silly shit like that with dogs is some of the most fun stuff to do. I know Kyle does that, where you'll respond to yourself and that like, oh, this is a dog voice. I've got a few doggy voices.

I like it. I've got a couple of doggy voices. This is Woody's least favorite. What's the name of that dog that's sad from the cartoons? What is that? That's from before my time, that guy. What's the name of that dog that's sad from the cartoons? What is that? That's from before my time, that guy. What's the sad dog?

Droopy dog. Where all the bees just mellow out of his mouth. I gotta find his name. I just found his picture. It's Droopy. Droopy. Droopy dog. I'm not sure about that.

It seems like a ripoff of, what's the winnie the pooh character um igor eeyore eeyore yeah eeyore the manic depressive donkey no he was just depressive yeah he never was he never had great ideas like like he was on a coke binge unfortunately like when i was younger and eeyore came on i was like bro get this, get this fucking guy. I didn't respect it enough. I didn't understand or relate enough. But as a kid, I'm like, bro, we're trying to yell and scream and be happy about shit. Why is he always here

if he doesn't want to be here? I didn't realize it goes deeper than that. Don't visit Eeyore, Piglet. He hanged himself on that hill he's hanging out at. Oh, God. That would have been a great episode. Yeah, where Winnie the Pooh tangles with suicide and has to walk kids through it.

Honey's not going to fix this one. What does Piglet sound like? It's like really high-pitched and like... I can't do it. Yeah, it's awful. Man, I liked Winnie the Pooh enough to watch like one episode when I was a little kid. Like Sesame Street. I was all about Sesame Street.

I could chain watch all that. Fucking Reading Rainbow. Did you watch Reading Rainbow with LeVar Burton? Yeah, Reading Rainbow was good. You know, Wishbone. I only caught that occasionally. Wishbone was all right depending on his adventure uh what are the after school some of these cartoons are like the sugar daddies

of cartoons where it's like oh this is candy i like candy therefore i'll enjoy this and then like that fucking rocky and bullwinkle winnie the po. There are a few more. These just suck. These suck. It is a cartoon, so you'd think that Little Woody would like it, but no. What about Yogi and Boo Boo? Moderate, moderate. I enjoyed that from time to time. But yeah,

Winnie the Pooh is a terrible one. You're just saying these cartoons that people were hyped about that really when you stop and think about it you uh i'm even as a as a young guy i know i i had appeal to me and then a lot of them didn't no i thought a lot of cartoons were shit growing up i kept it on because it was a cartoon and i was like way better than looking at fucking people yeah but like saturday morning saturday morning cartoons

used to be like a murderer's row a fucking great shit i can remember like thinking like god i hope mom lets me watch cartoons till noon because that's like x-men comes on at 11 and 11 30 a.m i want to get the x-men knocked out but it's it's 7 a.m right now it's fucking rugrats time hey arnold's coming on later like power rangers fucking beetle borgs are gonna show their remember that show cops or it was like cops no remember street sharks it was okay wait that's the next that's the next generation like street sharks and biker mice from mars that's like the next gen the generation before that like i had an older sibling so it was a show like cops and it was like this guy with like a dog and he had like the little siren on his head and that guy that like

shot out the robotic arm and he like caught people and it was like this black dude was like the chief this isn't ringing a bell i just like this i'm watching it right now this is outrageous it was the sickest show i thought for sure like i thought everyone was gonna be like oh my god cops i know there's fatso's listening to the podcast right now they're like fucking cops bro this looks nuts this looks like x-men but with like yeah it was sick it was like right before that but it was like a sick ass show and like the bad guys were cool too this is before black lives matter this wouldn't work It was crazy. The black guy's the chief. He's the boss. And he's sick.

He didn't even have anything. People like that, though. It was only on for five months. No wonder. We don't remember. What? I was a candidate. It was a smash hit.

That's all we had. That's all we had. We did 65 episodes between October 88 and February 89. Holy shit. That shit played. And everyone had toys. I had toys. It was like one day toys three a week for five months or something holy shit no this was like a saturday thing this is like we we get like you guys were like yeah in the u.s we're like we're done with this shit show

our kids don't like it and we're like give to us wow i liked uh digimon digital monsters uh Digimon, Digital Monsters I liked it Wait, how old are you guys? I'm 34 Oh, see that two years That's so funny That's a big two years For me, it was Ghostbusters and Ninja Turtles The real Ghostbusters

Right, like you're thinking about the two guys, right? It was like two weird dudes The real Ghostbusters There was a Ghostbusters also,. Like you're thinking about the one with the two guys, right? It was like two weird dudes. The cartoon was called The Real Ghostbusters. There was a Ghostbusters also though. But that was bullshit. But no, wait, no. The real Ghostbusters I thought were the two guys. Wasn't that the fake one?

No, I think the fake one was the Ghostbusters. You're talking about the one where like one of the characters is like the Ghostbuster ghost from the logo, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, not that one. or ghost from the logo right yeah yeah yeah yeah not that one but no no like the white dude that white guy that's like you know that's like on ghostbusters 2 he's like no oh yeah the state of marshmallow man i never watched that no no it's like in the actual logo yeah that white ghost was like in it um yeah no that's that was a weird show but like i like ninja turtles not like digimon pokemon like i wasn't like that's when i was like i don't watch cartoons like i'd go home and watch it maybe

but i couldn't like you couldn't be about it with your friends so like that like i was just at that age like i think i was just in high school as soon as pokemon was a thing you know so i'm like well i can't watch pokemon now i gotta get my first hand job soon so like i didn't get to like i didn't get to like enjoy pokemon thinking necessarily um yeah i guess i'm seven years younger than you harley and so i lined up directly with pokemon and so like that was what i woke up every single saturday because it came on either 7 or 7 30 and it was i think it was pokemon and then i never watched digimon which i guess disneymon didn't come out until years after pokemon so it wasn't even in the lineup and then like a couple after that on a different station they had like rocco's modern life that show was amazing to me

as a kid like that's like what i watched but rocco's modern life came on at night time it wasn't a saturday morning show that was like a bit later and i realized now watching some episodes years ago, it kind of, it could appeal. It's one of those Nickelodeon double-sided shows where it could appeal to an older demographic. Also like that,

even though Kyle will disagree, SpongeBob is a great show. I've told you why I don't like SpongeBob. It has no SpongeBob. Also, I missed out on SpongeBob. Like I was at the age where SpongeBob just didn't happen for me. It was before,

but I did do like, like Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers. That's the age group, but, but I wasn't G. where spongebob just didn't happen for me it was before but i did do like uh like ninja turtles power rangers that's the age group but uh but i wasn't gi joe and uh transformers what about he man for my time he man also before my time those three are right before me i was all about he man i had the sword uh i was i was super into teenage mutant ninja turtles i had the van that shot the pizzas were you watching it in reruns? The pizza thrower. I was about He-Man.

I'm older. Yeah, you were older. For some reason, He-Man was one of those movies that stuck in my household. It was one of the VHSs we had. My dad was all about entertainment centers in the 80s and early 90s. He bought a TV in 86 that was, by today's standards, was nothing. But it was a 65-inch box TV in like 86 that was like by today's standards was nothing, but it was like a 65 inch like box TV and like 86. So it was like $12,000 or something.

No one had those back then. Yeah. Nobody had them, but we had one of his, his TV is like a movie theater. Exactly. Like it's literally huge, but like,

yeah. And then what would happen? It was like my, because we had And then what would happen, it was like, because obviously we had homeowners insurance, and there was this weird thing that would happen every four to five years where lightning would strike the television and destroy it. Whoa, it's crazy. It really would. And so what would happen was the homeowners insurance-

You're going on your dad's word here, right? Yeah. The homeowners insurance would say, oh't they don't make those anymore we'll have to get the equivalent model the equivalent model so for like that twelve thousand dollar purchase he made in 1980 crazy a a random like calculate like perfectly like like exact precise destruction of the father did not commit concern every five years four to five hey listen my we invented that move so so like for like two decades we just had the best tv that money could buy it was always just like they just kept getting bigger and flatter for like 20 years.

I'm big on the warranty. I think if you get a TV, I do get the warranty. And I always kind of pull it. I'm like, how much time left we got for this bad boy on the warranty? And it's like, six months left of the three-year warranty. I'm like, all right, contrast max, brightness max.

I'm leaving the house for vacation. Let's go to bed. Spicy. What's up? We had the, uh, the big satellite dish in the yard, you know,

like, like, like we were fucking looking for extraterrestrial life. Like this. And you're talking like 95, 96, 97, way before then this is nine.

There are people in your town. You don't even realize they're driving by your house to show other people the satellite you have it was that was 1990 deals and so you was a big satellite right it was huge it was as big as a car like adjusted and like it like targeted like you change it it was massive and i remember like there were like infinite channels and some of them were in other languages. Like, like, and like the really blurry shit, especially would be like in Japanese and stuff. It's like, yeah, don't go above 975.

That's all Japanese. It's like 975. Yeah. We always had a bunch of shit like that. And, uh, and so I, I was obsessed with like, but what I was getting at originally was that for whatever reason, he met in the masters of the universe was part of our VHS collection. And I fucking love that shit at like four years old. I had the sword and I'd run around butt ass naked and the sword would make sound effects when you hit things with it, which is a terrible thing to give to a four year old because I would be

standing on the dining room table going, I have the power of the universe and i'd hit the fucking chandelier as hard as i could and the fucking sword would go and i loved it i did it all the time i remember i used to do something similar about the same age if 26 is about the same age i would run around no i would run around as a kid naked wearing like a coonskin cap while i watched either daniel boone or davy crockett on my screen tv and i was davy crockett or daniel boone please do this for me yeah try to track down a photo of you either naked or in a diaper wearing that coonskin cap when you're that age. I'm going to do the exact same thing.

Did you do that too? I did the exact same thing. I went around naked wearing the coonskin cap. I swear to God. I will get that picture by next week. Did you watch the Alamo or whatever, Davy Crockett movie? I still remember that scene watching Davy Crockett talk to this country guy, and you're like a fence in a field, and he's like –

I'm going to text my mom and try to get the picture. mom right in the fight no holds barred and I remember watching that awful choreographed fight and being like damn I'm just like Davy Crockett I would beat that person up too I'm texting my mom right now to try to get that photo yeah I need to check probably well I guess I have a bunch of my my family old photos do you have those old photos of me naked with the coon skin cap? Um, maybe. You guys never saw, did you ever see King Arthur and the Knights of justice?

No. Also a show that I like waited for on Saturdays. That was like the sickest. Now I'm going to find out there's four episodes. It was like a football team in high school gets like transported back to time and they're like you are King Arthur and the Knights of Justice and these like football players get the swords and get this like cool ass armor and then they like do battle against the forces of evil as King Arthur and the Knights of Justice but like King Arthur's like the quarterback and they like run plays and shit

and I'm like anyways that cops are the type of shit but like king arthur's like the quarterback and they like run plays and shit and i'm like anyways that and cops are the type of shit that netflix should be licensing additional series live action because like i i that was also that was the show that like if you weren't up at seven to watch it at 7 30 you fucked up and i was okay if i missed conan you guys ever watch conan the barbarian he had like yeah he had like a phoenix with him that would play at seven and then a knights's at king arthur nights justice 7 30 and like i had to be up and like if i woke up like at like 8 20 i'd be like like you know when you're a kid you get like really mad like you're gonna fucking kill myself well anyways that's how i was i was a problem child

justice i know there's some fatties out there they're like hey bro i love that show too you're watching captain power and the soldiers of the future and you had those 3d glasses to watch the episodes this is crazy i'm like discovering right now that all four of us are in different categories of like the growing stages of the 90s. Like we were in different places, each of us. Because I'm saying shit that was like low-key iconic to me. And you're like, nah, bro, Yu-Gi-Oh. I think the Canadian system had some different shit.

I think that's what that's about. While you guys were watching these cartoons, I was playing Vanilla Ice, Ice Baby loudly on the radio. And I was driving. So we were both doing embarrassing things. Yeah, I watched all those. My mom says she has the picture, but she's not home right now. She'll get it to me tomorrow. So I'll have that next week.

Please try to get the picture too, because I want to compare. This is great. I have one. I'll text my grandma and see. I want to compare this is great if i have one i'll text my grandma and see i want to hear harley's take on the whole gamestop thing like it harley laid out bitcoin in a way that i have tried to repeat for other people the whole you know first you want bartering then you want gold then you want pieces of paper printed in a special way no no no hashes and strings of like math solutions are what you

really want that's the thing that you want now to work for how are you feeling about this game stop attempt to stick it to the man redditor's expertise well you know what happened once when i i like i told people i was always like it's not financial advice yeah buy bitcoin and i bought bitcoin and i bought other things too and i i did put my bitcoin on a wallet but other things that i bought on a website one that like my brother had on the website and like a friend of mine had on the like that website got robbed and that money's gone um and it wasn't that crazy it was a couple thousand which would have been a couple thousand more now uh but uh i was just like damn like you know i'm not and i always tell people it's not financial

advice i mean you'd have to be dumb to listen to the sauce boss on what to do with your money uh but that gamestop stuff is like i think about it man if i wasn't doing youtube i would sit down and i would fucking play this shit i would just put my time to it because when you see stuff like when things go up like three thousand percent and i think gamestop at its lowest to its highest with three thousand percent like if you had a thousand dollars in there that's three million dollars like how crazy is that and i think if i was a guy like i if i didn't have anything else going on i don't think i would deal drugs but i would probably like sit down i'm sorry that i'm comparing this to a drug dealer i don't know why but i would sit

down and like i would play that shit like you don't get off like this at a casino and yeah it is gambling and dangerous but if you're taking like small money and doing it like i feel like there's a whole job that can be done there and all i see when i look at these graphs and shit and gamestop or you know uh like amc and uh like you the crypt of dogecoin i'm just like this is this is there's opportunity here i think here's an interesting thing to me so normally when you have the experts right the people who work at goldman sachs or jp morgan or whoever the fuck they are and then like me i feel like a sheep dealing with wolves, right? They are the experts. They do this all day, every day. That's where the expertise is.

But anytime you have even a pro against the internet, the collective knowledge of the internet, I mean, shit, there is knowledge to be tapped in there that is every bit as good as the pros, right? There are weaponized autists who are finding some guy who did a short play on GameStop incorrectly and caught him with their pants down. And they'll do it again and they'll do it again. And this pump and dump, I mean, the pros have been doing that on an attempt to be subtle level for ages. But the internet will collectively do it on a non-subtle

level and just pump and dump shit all the time. Are they doing it with, is it pronounced dogecoin? Doge. Dogecoin. They'll do it with dogecoin. They'll do it with GameStop. They'll do it with AMC. They'll do it with whatever. They'll pump and dump this stuff all the

time and manipulate the market. And it's just interesting to see the collective buying power and the collective knowledge of the internet now compete on a more even footing perhaps with the pros. Where they have a lot of money at their disposal, but so does the internet. And shit, is this a permanent sea change in the balance of power on this stuff? Maybe, maybe not. I think it will probably change whatever laws or requirements are needed to do stuff like this to protect those firms in the future. No, I don't think anything is going to change. I don't think anything can change.

What's interesting is how much it's dropped since we spoke about this last week. I want to say obviously it was after hours because we began this at 7 at 7 eastern but um what was it at 250 300 almost 300 350 or something yeah i think i think 350 yeah yeah maybe 350 400 something like that and we were discussing like is this thing about hit 1500 or is it about to bottom out and and I think we kind of agreed that probably bottom out, like maybe we should short this, but none of us did anything. It's at $50 right now. Yeah. Forties after market.

Um, it's, it looks like it's over and I don't want to be the, you know, people get mad if you say anything but hold, but it's like, ah, I think the move was to sell a week ago.

I think so too, but I think if you're sitting there now and it's like you got $50,000 left instead of whatever, $750,000, it's like keep holding. Maybe a miracle will happen and we'll bounce back up to $8 million. The stock was at $17,000 and the experts spotted it and said, this is wildly overvalued. I think this thing's going to $10 million. I just don't know when, but I think it's going to $10 million in the next two months. Is it public how much those firms have covered yet of their shorts? I don't think they've covered yet. Someone said that they were continuing to short like like and just just just trying to wait out the internet so i think it's public quarterly because they made a mistake

i'm not sure about this but i know that the internet is trying to get you to hold by telling you they're still short they're still in a squeeze hold hold hold diamond hands and that's good for me i'm pumping up the stock i don't want supply out there i want you to hold i want him to hold and then i'll do whatever the fuck i want but i want everybody to hold so i can watch what happens yeah i i want no part of this um i'm glad that i wasn't able to but i'm glad robin hood was a complete piece of shit because i was gonna buy uh three shares at 340 uh the other day just to like be part of this just kind of you know be fun to watch you lose a thousand dollars it's not the end of the world but um same time i was gonna jump in just like i was like yeah it's crazy let me get

in there too like that same day where they stopped it i think it was just in the usa but i was going to download like a canadian app when that happened and then I just stopped and I was like, let's just see life right now. I was on the other side. I was like, this stock is not worth this much money. And eventually water will find its level. Let's short it. But I wasn't so confident that I wanted to actually put my money on it. That was just my guess.

I wasn't confident in anything. I just wanted to be like, you know, like you put money on a ball game. Now you're kind of part, it's you're more part of the discussion. It was kind of that thought process. I was like, I'll just buy three shares at three 40 or whatever. And I go to log into Robin hood and it's, uh, it's asking for my banking information. I'm like, oh, that's right. I don't know it. I was like, Kitty handles my finances. Uh, and I'm like messaging Kitty and she's for fucking sleep. And I'm messaging Kitty, and she's fucking asleep. And it's like this trail of messages like,

I need my banking information. I need my banking information. I don't know my login. I don't know my logins. I need my money. By the time she gets it to me, I'm like, it's too late. I missed it. It's lower now. I know. I didn't tell her that, though. I didn't want her to be like,

well, it's a good thing I was asleep huh saved you a thousand dollars certainly not I was like I missed it let's double down let's all put thousands into dogecoin it's already been pumped has it I don't know what is dogecoin

worth like four cents last time I looked so now is the time to buy I don't know. What is Dogecoin worth? Like 4 cents last time I looked. So now is the time to buy. Oh, it's 5 cents. Okay, 5 cents. 5.2 cents. Time to buy. Yeah. Maybe not.

If you go back to January 27th, it was worth less than 1 cent. It was.7, almost.88 cents and now it's five so so someone could have made a ton of money yeah but i dogecoin was started as literally a joke what was happening is all these people were like firing up the next Bitcoin. You know, I think, did Facebook make a Bitcoin? A lot of people just made their own cryptocurrency. So the weaponized autists on Reddit were like, I'm going to join in.

Armado is a cute dog and it's the doggy coin and whatever. And it was never like, there's no technical basis on which it's better. I don't know that any of this stuff is based on anything. That's why I'm not in crypto. on which it's better? I don't know that any of this stuff is based on anything. That's why I'm not in crypto. There'll be experts on this technology

who are like, man, you don't understand. This is really the best one because of some sort of secure contracts and this one is more anonymous and this one's more decentralized and this and that. And I don't know that any of these prices

are based on how good the tech is. I haven't seen that relationship yet. But it's like all that expertise is wasted. It's really just all based on who else will be a buyer, I guess. Yeah, I think you're really hitting the nail on the head because the thing is, like you said, as far as I understand, the things that make these various cryptos worth more or less

is the technology that's backing them. And, you know, the decentralization or the anonymization or the security protocols in general. I think like if Elon Musk. Bitcoin is like the worst tech, right? Dogecoin? Bitcoin has like the worst tech and it's the most expensive. That's something I have no idea about. No, I would imagine Dogecoin has the worst tech because it's literally a cartoon dog that Reddit made a crypto for. So I would imagine it literally has the worst.

But I don't know. I think what's going to make a crypto explode is when someone finds a really good utilization where it's the way to do this thing. Like if Elon Musk starts his Mars colony, right? And the way we transfer funds from Earth to Mars is cryptocurrency. And I would imagine that that's like the best way to do that sort of thing. Like if they're mining on Mars, sending raw resources back at some point in 100 years, and we need to pay the Martian miners, we're not sending US dollars, right?

We're probably gonna send mars coin or some shit i mean when there's a purpose what do you mean why so the miners can get paid because we're not i don't know beaming money through space might want some sort of security i feel like elon i feel like elon musk the aliens could get it taylor i i feel like elon musk mobilizes people so much. I saw he was like, don't coin to the moon. And everyone's like, now, let's do it. And I find that such a like, it's so like, it's, I mean, maybe it's, I have no idea. It's hard for me to come.

It's like, I'm just like some fucking guy talking. So I've never like, you know, I don't want to feel like I'm up here and be like, well, this is what I just think there's something weird about like some dude who could be like high and he's a billionaire, just like saying a thing. And then people being like, now is when I put in my money into something, you know, and I feel like he's very blase. And it's not an acronym. I think the guy's cool, you know, interesting. But like, it's like, it's just just like he's so blasé and says things and like words have weight especially his and people move when he says things and i don't know if it's

always going to be good you know so when your voice carries more weight most people start to be a little more responsible with their voice like they recognize it elon doesn't and it makes him interesting and exciting and dangerous. Yeah, interesting for sure. Exciting and dangerous. He'll go and he'll say shit that gets him fined in a big way and penalized by the SEC. He basically pumped up GameStop and Dogecoin. He'll talk about selling Teslala and going private or going issuing

more what kind of loans he has and in market manipulating ways and uh but as a regular person i i don't know if he's a mastermind like pulling all these puppeteer strings getting us to think it or if he's just a little unplanned yeah well his twitter one thing i do that i do think is i don't want to say manipulative but it could be that i you know i'm just trying to like not commit to what i'm saying so much here but it is kind of like if you look at his twitter it's kind of like he's like he's like gen z like he's like it's almost like you're reading like a 22 year old's twitter like the memes and stuff that he posts and i do think that that's you know sure he's

probably like that probably it's fun like that but in a way it's like you know to relate to certain people and speaking in their language i don't want to say is manipulative because it could be helpful in communicating with someone but it does come off like a weird like little manipulative in a way because i look at his twitter just like is that really how you are you know like i'm like you know i'm i mean i'm 36 and sometimes i find myself doing things where i'm like around people like younger than me or whatever and you know you're trying to connect but it never results in you know low-key encouraging them to do something with their money or anything like that but yeah you know he posts memes and stuff and then people make decisions about their life yeah i i don't know i just wish everyone on the internet who bought gamestop made a lot of money

like that's what i want for them all these random redditors to cash out at the top but i don't think that's what i predict for them and that sucks so oh well up another two fractions of a cent since we started looking i didn't know he was so much about dogecoin so he's got him as mufasa holding up simba with the dogecoin on it just being like yep i propped i'm propping up dogecoin i'm invested in this nalvani guy right so so harley you may not know we do a death pool we usually keep one sort of cooking and this one was interesting in that all the people had to be under 50 so you're choosing people who have like a history of drug issues emotional issues you know who might kill themselves

in one dangerous profession dangerous yeah i chose I chose Alex Arnold, the guy who soloed El Capitan. You know, like, trying to pick a guy who might die under 50. One of the guys I picked was Navalny. He is the Russian opposition leader. He is the guy who runs against Putin for president. Where is this?

Russia. That you're referring to? This is the death pool that the PKA boys put together. Am I clear yet? Yeah. Okay. No, what you're referring to? This is the death pool that the PKA boys put together. Am I clear yet? Yeah. Okay. So anyway, I picked Navalny. I think I'm pronouncing that right.

Because he's Putin's enemy. And Putin's enemies, they tend to die. So he had been poisoned already. And the doctor who treated him just died. Like today. he had a heart attack real unfortunate he was 55 years old so or was he i don't think so i gotta look uh the cia heart attack gun yeah i'm sure it does oh, no, that's not a picture of him. He is a little fat, actually.

Is he a smoker? What's his entire medical history? I'm going to get a picture of him. He's a portly man. He's fat like I'm fat. He's fatter. That guy's fatter than you. Absolutely, dude.

I'm going to shave the beard and you'll see. That's what I got going. Imagine. than you absolutely dude but people once i'm gonna shave the beard and you'll see yeah just the illusion of a jawline he uh he suddenly passed away so i like his paper hat yeah so i i don't biden is saying that they are going to punish russia unless they uh let navalny go and uh we'll see how this plays out i don't see any universe where russia just bows down and obeys biden like that doesn't seem very russian to me. No, probably not. I wouldn't imagine so. Russian would be having him wash up on harsh shores

while they still claim he's alive. That's Russian to me. That's a Russian response to this. They would be more careful than that. They wouldn't throw him in the ocean. Oh, I think overtly lying. Like, what? Sky's not blue. What are you, are you crazy like just complete disinformation about

obvious truths is like a russian way of dealing with shit not you that's not how you see it i would imagine if they're gonna kill him they just it would just no longer be a thing be like nope he's still in solitary down there not we wouldn't they wouldn't mention that they killed him you know six years ago or whatever it would be. That would be my guess. That would be smarter, just not Russian. But who knows? We'll see. Maybe it is Russian. Well, I think you have a good

chance on this one for the death pool. I don't think they can just outright kill him. I don't think they will. No, they can't kill him. He's probably a CIA agent. I thought that the biggest protest in Russia happened based around this or things relative to this around the same time. Yeah. And it was like the most people that had come out knowing full well that like they're going to get there's going to be repercussions.

So maybe maybe I mean, only people that scare a a government is its own people really you know what are putin's retirement options isn't he sick or something and ready to step down am i i i want to say that like they they passed a law like very recently something about how like the former president can't be prosecuted for anything or something like that yeah and uh and uh i don't remember who we were speaking to maybe on this show or maybe somewhere else and they were saying that putin is one of the wealthiest men on the planet they were talking about the amount of wealth that he's amassed over his career as president of russia or he's been a couple things but uh he's good he's probably got got, you know, hundreds of billions at his disposal. Tricky to count his money, right?

Like, yeah, the way I read it is how much money like Russia has and how much money Putin has are kind of blended and mixed in one in the same. Yeah. It's like, oh, when you think about him controlling all of Russia, he's the richest man on Earth right behind Xi Jinping, who controls all of China. I was I was maybe I'm confused. Was it Xi Jinping that said, I'm just ruler for life yes china did that yeah we're gonna he still has an end to his term he's not just the guy for the rest of his life i think he does but i also think he wants to step down is he sick yeah he's planning to step down you know like say what you want about putin have you seen that clip of him where like

the one guy is holding the puppy up by the scruff of its neck and putin putin steps are like whoa give me that cute this is how you hold a puppy you my friend are going to the gulag yes you are yes he's going to the gulag for the rest of his life. I'm going to have his wife murdered. Oh, he said you'd be the gulag. That's right. You're going to the gulag. What happened is, you know, one of these like Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, one of these countries where like, I guess they don't have dogs as pets. This guy, like the leader of Uzbekistan, comes to Putin and like bearing a gift is holding a dog, not maliciously, not like I'm trying to harm this dog. Just like this is how he thinks you hold dogs by the back of the neck, holding it up like it's a trophy, waving it around in front of a bunch of media. And Putin does like a quick jog like, oh, well, you don't have dogs where you're from.

I can tell you. I'm going to eat this later, don't you? Can you can you can you do a Russian droopy accent? Wait. It's looking difficult to add together. Perfect. Oh, wow. That was pretty good. Oh, wow.

So the rumor is that Putin's mistress implored him to step down to resign because of health issues and do we know what his health issues are not on this article no they wouldn't say or they'd lie it'd be like it looks a lower body injury nhl style dude looks fit he looks uh looks like he's in control um seems like a horrific human being from what everyone says a mad man if you will parkinson's disease is the easy to finish it compared to the world leaders we're familiar with like look at our senate and congress people and like all that like pretty they've always been old they haven't always been this close to death you know like like you can go

back not very long and it's like who are the leaders well mitch McConnell right but two three years younger Paul Ryan Paul Ryan looks fit that guy's very together he's young yeah um shit Obama right he wasn't old he wasn't breaking down in office. Also very fit. W was pretty fit. He was always on his bike running. Clinton went in and out of weight issues. Clinton was only 90. But he was running. I love the Saturday Night Live sketch of Clinton

when he's on his jog and he stops into a McDonald's. You ever seen this? I think I saw that on CNN. Oh, it's fucking great like it i think it's phil hartman playing bill clinton and he like the secret service he's like boys i think we're gonna stop in here mickey days for a minute but don't tell the wife okay and they're like not again sir all right yeah we'll keep it we'll keep it quiet and he's like and everybody's like mr president he like sits down with, and they're talking about the economy.

Well, it's like this. The Republicans, well, you're Egg McMuffin here. They want to distribute your Egg McMuffin, a little this guy, a little that guy. And I'm saying, what about the hungry? They need an Egg McMuffin. Sometimes I need three Egg McMuffins. He goes from table to table talking about fiscal policy while eating everyone's breakfasts.

And isn't it funny that if you were to take Bill fat, Bill Clinton from the nineties and make him like president now, him being fat, wouldn't even be a conversation topic because the goalposts for what is fat has moved so much in the last 20 years. If Bill Clinton did what, if Bill Clinton had a Monica Lewinsky situation today, I think

that they'd kick him out of office. I think he gets impeached and removed. I think they'd me too his ass. Oh, maybe. I was more talking about him being out of his fat. And I like Bill Clinton enough. I don't hate him.

I think he was better than George Bush Sr. and obviously better than Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter should have always just been building houses. He should have been building them houses from the start. Yeah. Wasn't he like a war hero or something? I probably made that up. He's a peanut farmer. Peanut farmer? Okay.

I don't know if... I looked up fat Bill Clinton. Yeah, he's really not bad. Not nearly. Especially when you, you know what, what really makes him not look bad. The fact that he's out there moving,

he's getting after it anyway. Like, like, like, you know, like, like respect for that. That's a gym thing.

I never understood. I've heard a lot of people say that they're self-conscious about going into the gym because they were currently not strong or currently not thin and that uh they're afraid people will judge them but that doesn't make any sense to me like they'll judge they'll be happy for you you know you're doing something about it they'll judge you when you're not at the gym when you are at the gym yeah you're fixing it's one of those things where it's like you always assume more people are spending their time thinking about you than is reality. Because everyone's the center of their own universe, right?

Same kind of thing. I think about everyone else. I'm always judging. Yeah. You're always looking around in cafeterias, gymnasiums, theaters. Oh, that guy. Oh, if a shooter came in here. You know, use him as a bodyguard.

I have to fight from ego lifting when I'm all by myself in the gym. Taylor, does that happen to you at all? No, like no. And the last, like probably six, seven months,

like I've shifted everything towards like hypertrophy base. So like less weight total, much higher volume total. And so like, that's, that's been my thing. And so like just reading online, it's like, yeah, you're, you're actually going to get probably better muscle gains going a little

lower weight, much higher volume than you are killing yourself, you know, doing a five by five routine. Well, I mean, it's a, if it's a five by five routine, obviously you're going to get way more muscle doing the hypertrophy thing, the high volume. Yeah. I think the five by five is a lot better for strength than something like three by 12 or three or four by twelve is a lot better for actual like muscle mass yeah so i used to do less reps heavier weight but like yeah last half year so i've been like no you know what kyle's old argument makes sense what the fuck am i gonna i'm already strong enough there's nothing in my day-to-day life. There are no groceries this woman brings home that I can't handle. Yeah. I'm already the person that gets asked to help move all the time.

Like, because like, what do you have to do? Maneuver a couch. All four of us could do that pretty easily. Like you just have to kind of be an adult man to do most of the stuff you need to do. So yeah,

I was convinced by that and was like, you know what? I just want to be big. Yeah. It's a, it's that same thing I've always said. Would you rather look big or would you rather look strong or be strong? And the answer

is look strong. You're still strong as shit. You think bodybuilders, the guys who are working out all day, but they're not doing sumo squats the same way. They're on the leg extension machine trying to make their quads pop. It's like, you think that guy has any difficulty maneuvering around in the world or

carrying things? No, that guy benches 400 pounds. He just doesn't bench 700 pounds. Difficulty maneuvering an ass wipe for sure though. Oh yeah. If that's even more power lifters, those guys who like are,

they're like job of the hut sitting, but solid. If you were like Woody, I'm going to remove 10 pounds from your bench press, but 1% from your body fat. I wouldn't just say yes. I would order up six of them. That would be it.

Can we do that 20 times? I'll get the bench back. Then you eat yourself back into a hole and you're like, oh, no, I can't do either one. That would suck. Ran out of leeway. I tried to short my gains yeah so i really don't because i'm by myself and i don't have any mirrors in my basement gym

and so it's hard to ego lift and be like looking at myself doing military press like hell yeah if i don't have a mirror mirrors are expensive i get it i really dude if you want a giant mirror they're expensive as shit, but I need to just bite the bullet and buy one because it is so helpful for knowing you're doing things correctly. Whenever you guys are talking about equipment or mirrors, I like to be the one that can maybe find some sort of internet link or some solution. What he was talking about is equipment the other day, and I looked at gyms for sale in Raleigh. And there's like a couple of gyms there for sale, like a quarter million to like $750,000. And I was just like, maybe Woody should buy a gym.

He could have his own gym, and he could close it every night from like 9 p.m. to 11 p.m., and it's Woody hour. close it every night from like 9 p.m to 11 p.m and it's woody hour and you just walk into your own fully stacked gym with every piece of equipment you could want and you've got a business like this that's turnkey eventually you're just like fuck it all right well the closing hour is two to four today because that's what i feel like everyone out just yeah i call it woody's place and it's very literal. There were a couple of them there. They already had like 150 members. They had like $175,000 worth of equipment.

And, uh, the place was for sale for like two 25 or something. Wow. That's interesting. But I, we'll go to a failing gym. It might be by low right now,

right? This could be a buy low, sell high. That's, that's the other thing that may be like, Ooh, I bet gyms are cheap right now, right? This could be a buy low, sell high type opportunity. That's the other thing that maybe like, oh, I bet gyms are cheap right now. You'd think gym equipment would be more accessible. You'd think that high level gym equipment

would be easy to come by right now. Gyms closing left and right. No, no, no, no. So I had a gym built in my old place in Montreal. Then I went to Toronto, lived there. I was in that apartment. It had a full gym there. So I thought that was awesome. And then COVID happened and didn't get to use the gym a lot of gyms got shut

down so I re-bought the exact same gym I had years ago when I bought this place so I got my receipt I had my receipt I brought it to the same place and I was like this everything identical again he like goes through it all and he was like yeah that's 1500 more so it's just that much more expensive for identical shit but dumbbells especially even dumbbells were like a dollar a dollar to a dollar 25 a pound now they could be like two dollars 250 a pound it's like they know supply and demand like they know and they know that people want that shit you just don't have like you're not competing with gyms anymore. Or even like if you live in condos, you're not like those gyms aren't open. So shit is like much more expensive now.

Yeah. Like, I mean, I have the exact products. What's that? Dumbbells are super expensive in particular. If you're getting them for $2 a pound, I think you're getting a steal. I'm seeing, I could find them for four bucks a pound right now. You got it. The best thing to get is the power block. I don't know if you've ever seen it i hate it so much yeah it

is annoying it is annoying and i'm sometimes i'm like a piece of this is gonna fall out and hit me right in between the eyes and it's gonna fucking crush my brain i think sometimes press on your back and the fucking i don't think about it i think about i'm like yeah it's gonna fall on my face even if it's small it's gigantic like it's the same size no matter what weight it is. But it's just that you get one instead of having like a wall of dumbbells, you know? But to people, to all the fatties listening in, the kettlebell, there's like a kettlebell that's adjustable. And like if you're sitting there and you got to do like – like you don't have the space for a gym or you're going to do one thing, just get the kettlebell and start doing kettlebell swings. And there's some great kettlebell exercise people on YouTube that are all about the kettlebell.

And like one kettlebell is like literally everything you need to start doing what you're doing. And if you want down the line also. To add to what he said, there's an on it, you know, the Joe Rogan company kettlebell routine, but it was a great place to start. You know, it's a whole body thing. They'll walk you know, the Joe Rogan company kettlebell routine. It is a great place to start.

You know, it's a whole body thing. They'll walk you through all the exercise. You'll get your upper body, your legs, your back, your thighs. And if you're a fatty, like your ankle is hurting type fatty, like that type of level fatty, like you got tits and you're like, I'm never going to get rid of these tits. You could go with a low weight kettlebell. You don't even need to do something heavy. Just moving your body is going to be a lot. I want to go for a walk if uh yeah you fat bitch get you doing on youtube you fat bitch how much did you

eat today a lot i bet and i owe you to sit back listen to a three-hour podcast you fat ass and you're not gonna do shit after right no you're not you're gonna cook dinner or something or order dinner you fat fuck you're a fat piece of shit. No one else is here. It's just us. I bet you were listening to this alone. I am talking directly to you, you fat motherfucker. Okay, don't wait until it gets to me, you fat bitch.

You have sweaty tits. I know you do. The balls stink. You're a fat fucking slob. Get the fuck up and do something. Stop making – shut up. Shut the fuck up. And don't direct anger at me because i know fuckers that listen to this podcast would come back and be

like actually i don't fucking like shut the fuck up you're a fat fucking slob and if you're not you're skinny good just shut up it's not even for you this is for the fatty get the fuck up and do something make it happen like i'm telling you i slept for way too long bro i slept for a long time you sound motivated don't i am and like don't wait until like you gotta fucking like just don't wait for anything just get up and do it start now start little do it do something if you're like i feel like 10 pounds overweight right now jump on it don't do what it seems like me and harley always do is we wait for things to get absolutely done Now it's like, all right, let's go. It's going to be hard.

Like for me, when it's like when my fat pants are feeling tight, I'm like, oh, no. Like this is this is bad news. Like when you're feeling like. Yeah, that's an ugly. That's a bad. I had a bad milestone. I like exercised and I was like, look at these fat guy clothes. Get these out of here

and now i'm all fat i'm like where are my jeans with the elastic band yeah oh i i gave him can i i'm calling up like fat friends i'm like did i give you fat guy clothes pretty slim on your instagram now if you're giving back to me getting your fat guy clothes back is a bad. That's a bad place. What do you share clothes with? I know all big fat people. First of all, my family. Everyone's fat. Everyone's fat in my family. But you're ginormous. This is like a Sasquatch in your area?

An abominable snowman? Here's my pants. I do have like 20 friends that are over 6'3". It is weird. I have a lot of long friends and tall friends and big friends. Okay. I know some large people.

You met a lot of guys, even when we were on Epic Mealtime. There were some big guys around. Even a mirror guy that's the chef on Epic Mealtime, he's like this guy's like 6'3". He's slim now. He lost all his weight doing ddr how fucking dance dance revolution how crackhead is that like he's like in a dark room on ddr like on the pads like get some man i had a friend that did

that and like this was when ddr was first getting big and he got so fucking obsessed with it he was very overweight very overweight at the time and his parent and he was like he kept telling his parents like if you buy me a ddr machine i will get in shape i promise and they were like no we're not buying you a ddr machine and this kid is also like a very smart individual so he went to home depot and bought like touch pads and like all the stuff you need and he like drilled and he built his own ddr pad and it looked good it was fucking thick it had like bounce cushions and everything it felt like you're at a at a arcade and i remember i saw him and we fooled around on the ddr and it is so fucking funny

seeing a fat guy yeah like that butterfly song on expert because it is just and he built a bar behind him because he was dancing so furiously, he had to keep himself in the spot. I'm actually good at DDR. Did he get thin? He lost 50 pounds over the course of – I mean, it was dangerously fast. The game can track your – Did he get hot?

Yeah, it tracks your calories. The game tracks your calories. You can put that mode on. I had it. Like you could really like, there's an endless mode where you keep working out. He was obsessed with it. Like he would,

he didn't even treat it like a workout. He just like, he wanted to be able to do the mastery mode. That's like a mirror. That's a mirror right now. For like six hours at a time, not eating. And so it's like,

dude, you like, you shouldn't be losing four pounds a week. Yeah. He's all. Yeah. you should see the uh dance rush uh it's like another it's like the new ddr there's no arrows so you're like you could interpret it in your own way and you watch these people dance on this machine and you're just like that's like if i could like play this game in the privacy of my own home like you could get pretty fit and

then you can head out one time and be like oh well you don't know i know how to fucking dance and like no one would know like yo where'd he get those moves yo his ankle is so strong like just to work on my ankle a bit like that's i looked into it though it comes directly where's your cane oh my god i thank god knock on wood thank god i didn't get to to the cane level i mean you never know it hey there are some cool canes out there for sure for sure but like i mean listen and any if there's any like like cane level fat guys listening to the show like don't even use that fucking cane as an excuse. Use it as a dance crutch. You were walking with your fucking cane. Put the cane behind you and do the shit.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to know it's a couple extra pounds if you've got a pimp-ass cane. All right? They're going to be talking about the cane. I want that cane. Honestly, if you're that fat that you have the cane, I want that cane in a glass case above your couch in two years from now because you fucking turned it around.

None of that bullshit. Make it happen. I know it. I know it. Like the cane from Harry Potter that Lucius Malfoy had with the fucking snake on it. Something cool like that. Or maybe a chunk of amber with a mosquito in it

from Jurassic Park. Now you're speaking my language. I like that. Or just the kind that has a sword in it. It can have anything on the top. Oh, a sword cane. I'm not allowed those. A little dagger cane.

So I've got a link here. So we cannot watch this on the show. We can't show this, but this is fucking horrific what I just linked you here. This is literally some neighbors disputing over snow getting like thrown in the other's yard and ends in murder.

I knew this was coming up, by the way. I knew this was going to come up first because just because the day and what it is that I literally had the article here just in case. I'm kind of glad we have a Canadian who I assume to be a snow expert on the show. Now, when it's places that get a lot of snow this is like an actual issue right like if i put my snow in your snow storage area that that's bad see in north carolina it doesn't matter the snow will be gone in three days like that's so funny you know north carolina i drove through north carolina years ago to florida maybe 15 years ago and there was a snowfall a big snowfall to the point that there was about half an inch or an inch on the on the road how many years ago and there was a snowfall a big snowfall to the point that there was about half an inch or

an inch on the on the road how many years ago maybe 15 years ago within 15 15 something like that um and man we were driving down the highway because it's the winter so we're going from montreal to florida you know the jewish migration and we're going through north carolina and bro all these cars on the side of the highway some facing the wrong way because like if it's just one we had the winter tires but there's also just like a slight it's not a skill i don't want to call it a skill it's just a lesson you learn on how to brake on snow once it gets slippery and like everyone learned that lesson that day and they just pulled over and everyone's like shit you can't stop the car you can't stop and we're like just cruising through and like our shitty like

with the canadian winter tires on snow oh my god brad was like no fire but it was close to that what is what is this what's happening here it's just oh my gosh raleigh woman's snow photo goes viral like it's they failed at snow We're not good at snow around here. How can you be this bad? Look at that. That guy's 30. I'll answer your question. Half of those women,

half of those drivers are women. Look, I'm from fucking Georgia. I have like no snow experience. We went to fucking Colorado. It was that time. I think that we met up with you later, Taylor or something like that. Like, like I think you flew in with you later taylor or something like that like i

think you flew in and i picked you up or something like that in any case i drove from denver no this is the telluride trip i drove from denver to telluride in a fucking blizzard there were snow plows in front of me for part of the way i was in a four by four explorer locked in ten and two stoned as fuck just fucking beaming down that road and you could i could every time i'd feel it start like wiggling around i was just like all right you don't over correct you just you just bring it back over to the center back over to the center and i knew when i braked it's fucking like a like i'm touching a marshmallow down there that i don't want to crush because if i fucking stomp these brakes we're gonna start fucking spinning off the goddamn highway if you have if you hit ice and you

have the automatic braking system whatever starts going like and like that's scary as a kid it's a it is a skill first mistake you make some people can do it and some people can't but as you were saying about the snowing, the shoveling, or just snow in general, one thing that's like ugly, like that's always been ugly, is sometimes you'll have like a common stairway, like you're two, you're like townhouses, you know, like side by side,

and there's like one walkway down, and some people will go and shovel their side on the steps, but it's like you're already on the step just fucking do it i'll hit you back on the next one also like going shoveling like in in some places in canada you're it's your responsibility to go to the edge of the walkway the the the sidewalk other times it's not but like it is ugly when some people shovel their sidewalks but the rest of the sidewalk isn't and then you have these these unspoken, like glorious people that go down and like go five houses that way and this way.

So when you're shoveling your driveway, like your sidewalk's already been done. I'm like, that's kind of like what's important. There's sometimes snowblower. Yeah, you're the guy. You're the guy. You're the fucking guy. I don't have a snowblower, but I'm in North Carolina, and I have a golf cart with an attachment that makes it easy to take trash cans away. And I've never done it, but I almost want to get everyone's trash cans. Would I be a hero or a trespasser?

I'm not sure. Well, you know what? I'll tell you one thing. I've noticed one thing having many neighbors over time, and like this, I feel like it could apply. Like, you know, I don't know what it's like where you live feel like it could apply like you know uh i don't know what it's like where you live but it could apply more so some men don't like take that as an act of aggression like you don't think i can handle my fucking garbage you think i need a fucking golf car you're trying to make me look bad you're trying to fuck my life for all you know for all you know taking, taking the garbage in the driveway is a major stressor in their relationship.

And another man coming in, and now she's using that as leverage. She's saying, oh, look at this, honey. The neighbor across the street, you know, the one with the bigger house than you've got. He just came over here and took the garbage from the fuck of it. Scott, he just came over here and took the garbage from the fuck of it. You know, the really fit neighbor that's out there doing chin-ups all the time? Yeah, that guy. That's why I haven't done it.

I'm afraid that they would take it as like a – something like, oh, you think I'm too slow to take my trash cans back? But it's like, oh, driving the golf cart is fun. That's really all there is. I thought you'd like it. Showing off your golf cart, huh?'s like oh driving the golf cart's fun that's really all there is i thought you'd like it like that's it's what but that's showing off your golf cart you want to show your golf cart off dude it's fun i had i had a flip i was on the receiving end of it actually once on in toronto the garbages were like like raccoons are like fucking crazy in toronto they are like they are raccoons like like they live in the city and they travel in like 20s and they're like big like they're big i swear like i had like one time like i opened up my back door like the like the blinds and i open it and there's like so many of

them and i'm like like on the glass and they're like shut the fuck up garbage here and like understand that these these raccoons got fed epic meals so like by like the six months of living they're like what's up bro don't make me fucking come in and like they did shit like they like so what they did in the back was they moved uh they they moved a deck chair closer to this area where they can climb on top of it and now like lift the garbage up like they used things in the backyard to get shit done like they were using tools and stuff they're very smart and uh they were like eating these epic meals they were like going off and like they would cause a lot of noise now i was only there for a couple days but one of the first days the neighbor who like he's not like you just know when

someone's like someone looks at you and they're like fuck you fuck you you know and like so he was just one of those guys was like fuck you and i knew i got that vibe from him anyways every time i saw him i was like hey beautiful day isn't it um he told me he was like you know these raccoons are crazy so be prepared because that's going to mess it up for everyone so i was like yeah for sure so i called my uncle i was trying to like get it sorted out he was like i'm going to bring some bricks over we could put them on top of your garbage and they won't be able to lift the bricks off you'll just move the brick when you want to put garbage in or whatever I'm like okay okay it must have been one day too slow and this guy like came over with like his drill and stuff knocks on the door and I'm like hey he's like yeah can I speak to you for a second I'm like yeah for sure I just come

over the garbage and so I go he goes because you couldn't figure out how to handle it I drilled a hole into the garbage and there's this hook here and this black rubber thing it'll go up and so now when you want you got to unhook it they're not going to use this mechanism to be able to access it i did it with my drill i did it with some metal i had in my garage because i'm a fucking man and i get shit drilled with my own fucking materials that i got myself because you couldn't get it done playing your games or some shit and i was like bro do you smoke weed and he was like yeah and i'm like here's some weed that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me thank you that was

actually awesome i think this mechanism is great i'm like you should put you should do this for like as a service or something like raccoon proof and he's like yeah yeah i should you couldn't do it and i was like no i probably couldn't and he's like on his way and he was like 25 years older than me and i was like i just got like like if i were any more like my dad or my dad's dad i could see where he was coming at well because when i left i thought about it and i was like oh i was like he did something so nice and then i thought about i was like oh no he fucking took my manhood and fucking he like if i did have a wife like he was fucking her that night like that's where it was at like

because he was the man of my house now but i didn't register it that way i was like this shit but he did walk all over my manliness all your garbage in his yard spell out it didn't work sorry i couldn't figure out your mechanism can we watch like the first 60 seconds of this video like just us this video is wild this video is wild this video is fucked like i watched it like i watched it it to see what was up. I'm sick after it. Who wants to know? I am sick after watching it. The one I linked has unedited video.

Someone will describe what's happening to the audience. It's called Noah Get the Boat on Reddit. That's the name of the Reddit. Great subreddit, by the way. That's people fucking up or doing crazy shit where it's like, God, just fucking drown the whole world because we're already fucked. The title's called Man Kills His Neighbor Over Snow Dispute.

Okay, I'm going to assign it. Taylor, describe to people what's happening when we put play. Okay, one second. The video just pooped out. I got to refresh. This is fucked. Are you guys ready? Yes. I am ready. Ready, set, play.

Just a couple of gents hanging out. Fuck you. Fuck you. You fucking scum. I'll risk your life to live in hell living here, dickhead. What? You heard me. So these are two neighbors across the street from each other.

It's still off screen right now. You fucking scumbag. You don't fucking bother with nobody. He's got a country life. He's a fucking scum. You're a pussy. Fuck you. Pussy. Pussy. He's flipping them off with double bullets. He's walking a punching bag. He's a fucking dog. You're a pussy. Fuck you. Pussy, pussy, pussy.

He's flipping him off with double bullets. He's walking into the road. Now the guy from the far house is coming down the driveway. Call the cops! Holy shit, he just shot. Just executed this woman in the middle. He was six inches from her. I should not have had the audio on.

I think this is the craziest part. What's coming up is crazy. Yeah. Okay. So the woman laying in the middle of the road, she was just been shot multiple times. The man who was getting shot retreated. You can't see him on screen.

He's, he's back. His feet. I think they are. He was shooting, just ran that was his feet by his side of the mirror. I think they are. The guy who was doing the shooting just ran back into his garage. Now he's not visible. I assume he's going to come out. I think he went for more ammo.

So the guy went, he walked down the driveway, and then when he shot the guy at 10, 12 feet, it was like, oh my God, he's really aiming at him. When he point blank ranged that woman from like a foot, that was crazy. Holy shit. When he point blank ranged that woman from like a foot? That was crazy. Holy shit. Wait, wait, it gets crazier.

I thought. How can it get even crazier? Is he going to pull out and drive over her? Oh, he's coming back. He's got a bigger gun. He's got a bigger gun. He's got a long gun. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, he's got an AR-15. he just shoot her i have the volume off yes twice he said he said you should have kept your fucking mouth shut just killed now and now like a bitch he goes inside and he kills himself he kills himself yeah he goes and he kills himself damn do not argue with neighbors you don't know people literally like honestly fuck like this is one of the most like i know there's so many things but this was just it's like this shit melts in a couple months it's melting what were they arguing about snow apparently yeah they were arguing about like oh you piece of shit i guess you're not even taking care of your driveway or we're trying to take dude that is one of the most

that's one of the craziest videos absurd absurd if you're good we got really like that's fucked up that is insane it didn't i couldn't believe what i didn't know he was coming back he came back with an ar like he started with a handgun and like shot them both many times i but this and then he came back with a rifle and he executed them both. This thing I do during horrific videos is I look at what the stakes are, right? Like first he shot the guy,

then he shot the woman. They're both hurt, but I don't know that they're mortally wounded. It's like, okay, okay, okay. This is a problem. But like 85% of handgun injuries are non-fatal. It's not a ton worse than getting ice pick stabbed, which you can survive from, right?

If it's in the right spot or whatever. And then it's like, he shoots again. And he shot that woman from point blank range in the head chest area. And I'm like, if that's not immediately fatal, it's soon fatal. That can't be undone and then he walks up to the

guy and just off camera shoots him at point blank range you know he got a head or chest shot and then he goes back and gets the assault rifle and like it just it keeps escalating from like 85% chance of survival 65%

chance 10% pretty fucking quick you went to zero quicker in your estimation I don't know how many of those shots actually hit how many times did he shoot that handgun like 8? it seemed like the first 4 missed to me

Kyle thinks they all hit it was hard to tell what was happening they each got shot 3 or 4 or all hit it was hard to tell what was happening um they they each got shot three or four or five times it's hard to say it i think there might it was kind of weird when he when he opened up because like no one reacted yeah yeah it was almost like there was some lag i don't know what was happening there but yeah that was fucked up i've never seen anything quite like that either it's like there were like four shots off where it was confusing because they were still statically just standing there in the middle of the road.

And then the guy, as he's turning, is like, ah, shot in the back. Yeah. You know, when I see stuff like this, there's a time stamp at the bottom. So it starts at 9, 30, and 56 seconds. I always think, obviously, these people had no idea that they were in their last like two minutes yeah do you think about stuff like in those yeah i do the day what the day was when they woke up and put those clothes on like they had no idea what was their in that

evening were they going to watch a maple leafs game were they going to go over to we're going to have their son over for dinner i always think about shit like that this video i i like like i like i always see people joke about it but video i i like like i like i always see people joke about it but when i saw that video i was like that's enough internet for the day and that was that that was a video that did that to me that doesn't i go looking for types of videos but this one really did fuck with me and it does actually do something that that it hits on something that i uh i thought of um this past year uh i want a gun i want a gun in case uh someone doesn't just in case of fucking people and i'll tell you why i i want i think people now i have like less faith in humanity than i ever did before

um i got like threatened in the last year like in a weird way um and i push it up people like can find out where i'm at and i just want to like i just want to feel like if you know what if someone's gonna come for me like they better not miss because i want to also be i want to be ready and i never had that feeling before and sadly enough like we should feel more together during the pandemic and in some ways i do with certain circles or whatnot but in other ways i feel more distant from types of people out there some people's feelings and how they've expressed themselves and just being threatened um i'm just like i need a fucking gun i need a fucking gun because like i i like shit like that and then need a fucking gun because I shit like that.

And then I see something like that. I'm like, that's the thing. If you shot my wife and I'm able to run into the house, I don't want to run into the house and be like, call the cops. Yeah. I want to come. And I know it's bad to be on vengeance or whatever, but those are my thoughts.

People are fucking crazy, and I want to be protected in that way. And like, I mean, I don't know. And a weird twisted way, like, you know, like who knows? Like who knows? You know, even if someone even if like people are like, yeah, we decided we're killing all the Jews again. Yeah, we decide we're coming to get all the Jews. At least that way. I'd be like, you know what?

again yeah yeah we decide big up we're coming to get all the jews at least that way i'd be like you know what like if i could go back in time and you put me in the holocaust like i'm just like if i had a gun i'd be like no i'm gonna take down one or two nazis and then i'll get fucking killed and that's just how that's my story one time and you explained never again like you and it sunk in so deep with me you were just like they rounded up Jews, they put them on train cars, and they killed them. And there was very little resistance. And Jews just as a culture have said, you know what? Never again. We might even lose, but we're never again going to lose like that.

And anytime there's like a hint that things are trending in that direction or or someone has some sort of anti-semitism it's like no no not this time never again and i like it i can't even get like you know what and i maybe like i got like mildly aggressive there i can't even get that aggressive because like if you look at like you know israel a lot of why that country is so aggressive is there like that's that's like, I don't want to say like a paranoid country, but that's like a, people are like, yo, what's up with Israel? You guys fucking killing people. Are you like, you know, you're being a, and I'm just like, that's like, that's like, I don't want to offend people, but like, let me just be like, like, it's a gray area. But like, that's like mentally that, that, that part of the world is mentally affected, let's say.

Like, that's, like, that country exists after some weird fucked up shit happened in the world. And the circumstances of that country are weird and fucked up. And the people around that country are weird and fucked up. And that's just, like, a fucked up scenario. But, like, that, like, I feel like a big part of Israel's israel's motivation is like bro what if everyone tries to kill the jews again let's have an army let's have like crazy f16 fighter jets let's like always keep let's all like there's conscription there i believe i think you have to be in the army yeah we've got a relationship be veterans yeah we have some two people in our patron who i think served one of them was an army command or a tank commander and he was telling us all about the tank shit and like how

he drove it and the difference between different tanks he was like in the 50 patron hangout like it was i think woody described it best where someone else was like uh what woody i wanted to ask you what he's like shut up we're learning about tanks like Like, yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah. Someone asked, like, we asked a tank question and we literally have a tank commander on video chat with us. And one of our fucking autistic fucking $50 patrons is like, actually,

and it's like, shut the fuck up. He said, commander. And it was the question. I remember it too. It was, what is air conditioning like

in Israeli tanks? Well, actually, it's actually pretty good. No, shut the fuck up! I want to know from the tank commander! And he was like, nice about it. So he'd be like, well, it is a very interesting job. I'm glad you'll be assigned

in these. It's a fun time being a tank and then someone's like well the israeli tanks are much slower and he's like this is all but the amount of the area we covering much smaller so we prefer uh built up uh indolence not as important and it was like he had an answer for everything where it was like i i had an m1 abrams tank they're not driving a thousand miles to battle. Yeah, yeah. That's an offensive thing. The Americans take into Iraq that we need to be able to go 1,000 miles.

They're defensive. They're kind of just mobile, well, semi-mobile guns, right? They need to defend a particular area. They're only expecting to defend Israel, not to take over the next country. I wonder if you get to pick. If you're conscripted in like did he say boom i'm gonna be a tank guy i'm or was it like you're a tank guy and he's like oh good i didn't want to be a field medic when i went to israel they you are with your assigned guards or soldiers

with you and i think it's in a way you could see that they're they're people and stuff like that and i've gone to camp and my co-counsel was also in a tank. And I was like, have you shot like shit or whatever? And he was like, literally like we've shot many things, buildings or whatever. Like,

but we don't know. He's like, we were watching like a screen in the tank. He's like, it's so different. He's like, you're watching a screen. Like you never like,

he's like, it's not like games or anything. He's like, we're operating things like on a screen and shooting things from far away. He's like you're watching a screen like you never like he's like it's not like games or anything he's like we're operating things like on a screen and shooting things from far away he's like it's very different than you would imagine and all i thought about was like i probably can't even imagine at all in any way um you know anything like that but it's funny you said defend i think their whole the whole like message or what they tried to portray is that it's defense forces in Israel. They are defense forces.

And the whole – any act of aggression or whatever, everything about it is debatable, comes from a place where it's like we're defending it. We are like people that literally the world – It's theirs. The world tried to kill all of us like honestly like a couple years back like we're just defending ourselves but you know then they're there i don't know that play it's it's such a what a tricky what a tricky subject but one thing i'll tell you is like i'm jewish but i'm not israeli i love that jews have a country i love that israel is there but when israel does things i'm not like automatically supportive because i'm jewish there

are people that live in israel that are not that jewish and when i went to israel like we met a lot of they made it a point to introduce us to a lot of arabic people that lived in israel that were like arabic israelis and uh some of those people were really cool and it's just it just fucked up you know like it's everywhere you know that's honestly like one of the coolest parts about our little uh our little patron patron group we've got this uh people that pay 50 bucks in our patreon get access to like a discord that we're in and uh there's an arabic guy and a couple of israelis in there and they're all buddy buddy and it's fun like like because like fish the arabic guy has had conversations with noam the

uh the israeli guy he's like he's like you know i i like you a lot you know it doesn't matter what because Fish, the Arabic guy, has had conversations with Noam, the Israeli guy. He's like, you know, I like you a lot. It doesn't matter what I think about your country. I like you. And Noam is like, yeah, same, same. Doesn't matter. I mean, you've never tried to suicide bomb me or anything. I'm good with you too.

We're all good here. It's real cool to see that. We can bond over these three idiots. Yeah, yeah. They bond over us. I'm like, what three? We here at PKA are making peace. Yeah, you don't get to accept.

Here I am. Harley, I'm not Jewish, so I didn't get the birthright thing. But from what I hear, there's a ton of fucking going on on these birthright trips. Did you get laid on your birthright trip? Actually, like one time it was yeah and it was nice the soldier speaks hebrew and the locals speak hebrew but the soldier like he's like our guide he spoke english and hebrew and was able to set it up with me just standing there while he said everything and kind of middleman back and I was just like yeah what yeah

sure he said it all up yeah yeah fully was the other guy cute he was the tightest ass I ever seen no but imagine that imagine that was a homosexual experience

yeah we're gonna hook you up with a really attractive jew and there's really defensive forces no but so wow they got you laid someone else on the trip with you it was no they're a local they were local oh so you got to fucking israeli girl and like this like in this interesting like kind of like stucco like one room like just standalone like weird like you know when you think of like episode one phantom menace like well like like it's like a sand like it's like a clay fucking thing like that with like a kitchen and a bed and they fucking love electronics if you thought japanese people love electronics like

israelis love like every israeli has like drifting from the fucking a little bit why did she fuck you like you you just met her the first time were you just so these people like they they just live like i think like where she was at like they're just it's an area that's like uh there's not a lot of like maybe it was just like never had one that looked like this before you know there wasn't my life did women just like strangely this this guy did this guy did a lot this guy did a lot he said everything i even said some stuff back and i think he was just like yeah in his head he's like that's a shit joke i'll make it better for this in hebrew what was his middleman you into getting laid he's like my boy like this guy's like this guy's like you're jewish

i'm jewish this is my place we've been to the holocaust museum and we went to the fucking we we've been together and like you're there for like you know like 10 days together you're like you are my brother and then he has a new brother every 10 days. Does he get them all laid? Did he hook anybody else up other than you? No, I don't think. I think he just goes on one trip also. I don't think he – I think that was his trip.

Okay. No, I pictured him as a tour guide who every week got another like 28 kids laid. Just like took your tour bus into a subdivision and got everybody laid israel wants you know jews to have more kids there and like increase the population and so it makes sense that like if they're doing a bunch of these a bunch of young jews are doing pilgrimages there they'd want to be like israel rocks we're gonna you're gonna remember israel as getting laid and having fun and trout you know yeah and you're gonna you're gonna make a jewish baby an israeli baby how old are you uh 20 19 or 20 okay it's like

it's like just like it's it's like that's what they do the same thing with i don't know if i brought this up before but it's like that's what they do with jew camps the new ones i don't know if i brought this up like so old concentration camps was like they just took Jews and systematically killed them. Now Jews go to summer camp. If you have any Jewish friends, yeah, right. But if you do, you speak to them, you'll see that they go to like probably or did as a kid or they knew Jews that went to summer camps

and they're Jewish summer camps. And like the guy cabins are here and the girl cabins are there and like everyone's jewish you got to be jewish to go and then they the counselors leave at night they're like we're leaving from 10 p.m to 1 30 a.m don't sneak to the girls bunk and start fucking and then like a lot of couples that i know that are jewish couples like they met a camp like where there were other jews and they just encourage more jews to make more jews you know what i mean yeah i dude i went to a christian camp and it was the opposite experience no fucking no fucking they're like hey i noticed a lot of guys wearing blue a lot of girls wearing red no purple no purple and then like we get there and everyone plans to like sneak out. And the counselors are like, oh, I'm so tired.

Not tonight. Don't sneak it. Tonight, we barely, I'm sorry, tomorrow, we barely watch you guys. But tonight, don't try to sneak out. And all of us were like, oh, tomorrow. We're going to sneak out tomorrow. So we didn't even try the first night. Next night, oh my God.

It was like maximum security. like it wasn't even a chance to sneak out there you don't like there's no you can't sneak past them if they're actively standing there guarding the door it's like like we're in total fucking lockdown this is bigger than prison like there was no way to sneak out the first time we'd barely tried and that would have been the opportunity and then then there were no more and it was the opposite no one got laid same thing to us because i mean at the end of it it was still like nope that's a sin don't do that premarital sex oh yeah dude every like this church talk would make it harder to get laid like girls would whatever their slut scale was it just knocked two points off them yeah you're just like you're hoping it's going to go well that evening and it's like well for the fourth time we're going to talk tonight before

free period for all you guys about how women who spread their legs are whores and satan's whores and he'll torture you forever and it's like dude you are the biggest talk block right now you can't talk about noah or something you bitch help us out my friend was like he and his girl had been sexually active like a hundred times and then she's like you know what i'm shutting this down i've determined that we're good we're making a mistake and you're going to hell already you're already going to hell so you want to go out of you or what oh it lasted a week or so of it you're going to be become a born again virgin which is like some New Age Christian-y thing. But it's like, first of all,

Jesus and all that's real, he is not falling for a born-again virgin thing. Like, you're not going to fool him with that. Wouldn't he, though? Because remember that whole story with him and Mary Magdalene? Yeah, but you just would ask for forgiveness for that and not do it moving forward.

Not this whole thing where it's like, well, now you're a born again virgin. Yeah, I don't think. That ship has sailed. You've got to mean it though. It's a mean repentance. It doesn't mean you're a virgin again. If you kill someone and you repent for it, you're still a murderer. On the topic of Israel and just what we were talking about before,

one story that I got when I was there, they shared that I'd never heard before, was that in the 80s, and some of these things might be wrong, but the grand scope of it is pretty accurate. In the 80s, they made the F-16 fighter jets

and shopped them around. Obviously, they'd bring it to America first. At the time, the USA was like, we don't need this shit right now. No one needs this shit. Who's trying to buy this fighter jet? This is the craziest fighter jet. It's so expensive.

They brought it to Israel next. Israel was like, yeah, we'll take a couple of those. Apparently, very quickly after learning how to fly their F-16s, they just flew overnight to Iraq and bombed the beginnings of a nuclear power plant. They were building a nuclear power plant. Oh, I'm sure. In Iraq in, like, in the 80s. And Israel just, like, bought F-16s.

Like, oh, it's cool. And they got in, like, F-16s with, like's cool and they got in like f-16s with like f-15a escorts like flew to iraq bombed this this nuclear reactor and went back and like the next day like woke up like the world woke up was like are you fucking crazy you can't fly to another country and bomb their nuke you can't do something like that that's literally terrorism allied with the united states so yeah yeah but like you know what are you gonna do about it yeah and a lot of america but a lot of americans too are like bro like fuck israel like you can't do shit like that you know and people are like this is like terrorism and israel was like no like we to be honest we don't want

that guy we don't want that country having a nuclear reactor so that's why we did it because you don't know if it's a nuclear reactor because that's what you would say a uranium enrichment uh facility is for yeah we want some cheap electricity over here not nuclear weapons yeah yeah well that was it that's like you know that's where it comes from like they're like they were just straight up like call it paranoid or whatever but we're like there's no way a country next to us is going to build a reactor and just exist where we fucking they went and they bombed it i'm talking about how israel overnight just went flew to iraq and bombed like a reactor like after buying f-16s which nowhere else in the world had any f-16s and they bombed the ground and they got shit on by the world for it but like their policy is they're like their foreign policy is kind of just like

if you're if you're a threat to us and you're doing some shit and we can stop it we're just gonna stop it and like that's it and they did get shit on and then years later you know like it's like the war on iraq we're going to find the missing nuclear weapons and maybe it's bad that that attack like drove it to be more secret the nuclear weapons or whatever but at the same time it's like that's like you know i think people were just happy with less nuclear reactors in the world in the long run at the end of the like you know i think people were just happy with less nuclear reactors in the world in the long run at the end of the day you know like who knows what the timeline is but like there was a that war on iraq at that time like who knows how things would have been if there was nuclear

weapons involved or whatever but they're just like they're just like a wild ass country they're like yeah we'll take those f-16s but we're flying tonight and we're gonna bomb a fucking nuclear reactor basically act of war they fueled up we're gonna act of war this guy and i'm sure that it truly was a nuclear reactor just like the nuclear weapons in 2003 that were definitely there well i looked it up here this the oc rack reactor prior to the israel attack and there's pictures of it just straight up like on the if you looked up operation opera on on wiki there is like there is a reactor there and and you know iraq iraq wasn't it wasn't it wasn't like it is then then now as it is today or whatever you know what i mean it's uh times are different but like yeah

it's like just fucking just wild just fucking hop in the jets let's go bomb that shit and they're like yeah we did it so what yeah we shouldn't indiscriminately they were gonna bomb us they were gonna bomb us in like 25 years wait wait iraq has bombed yeah they haven't yeah yeah yeah yeah we used to israel had that white phosphorus thing where israel used white phosphorus and it hit civilians and shit so like i don't ever support like i don't support any countries man i don't i don't support any the man you know what i mean i feel you but yeah israel's not the only country in that region doing the white phosphorus stuff other ones did too yeah who it was in syria was it syria white phosphoring itself

yeah that that was one or maybe that was a different chemical maybe i'm getting mixed up Yeah, who? It was in Syria. Was it Syria white phosphoring itself? Yeah, that was one. Or maybe that was a different chemical. Maybe I'm getting mixed up of who did it. I think Syria used white phosphorus, but I want to say it was like a civil war. Or when the USA found out that all of Japan is basically made up with paper houses. So they fabricated napalm at Harvard

and literally killed like half a million people in one night like just a fucking burnt them and the people that flew those that those jets in world war ii they were like you do realize that if we don't win this war like we are war criminals forever and instead it's just like let's not talking about that like even at harvard you can't you won't find out that harvard they made napalm there like you're not gonna see that there's no awards or or accolades for that you know i remember um after 9-11 right i was an adult when 9-11 happened and it was all this like well they attack civilians they're very different than us we only attack other militaries and that's the difference between the good guys the bad guys like world war

two seemed to be really civilian attacky right whether they were bombing london or whether we were bombing berlin and tokyo and niroshima or whatever iraq iraq attacked israel for like a solid fucking month in 1991 continuous okay i worked with a guy who was who was in germany being bombed uh during world war ii and uh and and like he tried to bring that shit up about 9-11 one time and we were not hearing it what do you mean we're like we're like well peter you were nazis so maybe there was a munitions factory there somewhere in Hamburg. Maybe it needed burning down with the rest of Hamburg. How about that?

How about that, Peter? Peter? Was that his name? Peter. Yeah. Oh, he corrects you every time you called him. I was like, look, Pete. All right?

You're Pete. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, America did, not just America, America, Germany, England, All right. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, America did not just America, America, Germany, England, probably Italy, bombed a whole bunch of civilians during World War Two. That was part of the deal. It wasn't like win over hearts and minds. It was breaking hearts as a way to win the war.

I think that was like that makes me think like how close and desperate they became to get there you know what i mean like it's also like information doesn't travel like it does now like then like you know like like the vietnam war was like wait it's like kind of like that's when people like what the fuck is going on there but like world war ii is like there were bad guys it was like that's the war where they're like there are bad guys you know propaganda was easier back then right but i cartoons out of hitler and you don't think that they uh that that was like a like desperate you don't think it was like desperate i always thought that world war ii was like pretty close more close than we we were comfortable i'm not saying you're wrong i'm when you first said it i interpreted it as like

you know it's start like imagine how they got to there imagine how extreme thing must have got got and i was like i don't know it seemed like the opening volley involved killing some civilians like it yeah it wasn't like that was the last i think that's the most pure cut um example of good versus evil though in a war like there was definitely a good side and a bad side um mussolini was incredibly evil the japanese were incredibly evil his headquarters it's like he was trying to make the most evil building of all yeah you've seen this picture harley look up mussolini's look it up right now it's fucking great i put in the fuck in and also it's fucking great brutalism which is

like just straight rigid it's a very i mean a lot of our buildings are now being brutalist in style and it's a very ugly fucking style but it's a picture of silver and they're just on from power rangers dc like in yeah look at are you looking at it woody yeah i'm showing people isn't that wild it's like they put he's, yeah, I like to think of myself as. Is it CCC, like yes, yes, yes? Is that what I'm looking at? Yeah, I think so. That is yes.

But like, I always just imagine him being like, I want it to be really, I want people to know that I was a bad guy. I don't want there to be, don't even put a flag up there, bitch. Make it scary. Are we the baddies? We're trying to rule through fear. Yeah, we're trying to... I'm what you call an actual fascist.

The fascist party of Italy. Yeah. Oh, it's funny to see the building now. Like what it looks like now. They should move up the face. It's like, I'm a regular building. Is it the one with all the arches and the statues at the bottom is that what i'm is that what it is now oh i haven't seen uh you ever see what they did to mussolini

yeah they beat the shit out of him they killed like they like beat his face in and pissed on him and like threw garbage all over him like shot him in the head many many times i don't mean that's how they killed him i mean once he was dead the stuff they did to his body it's ridiculous holding stuff yeah they went to town that's hitler saw that and that is why hitler uh killed himself and had his body burned yeah i mean that makes sense that does seem like the move. If you're Hitler or Mussolini and you lose. Don't get taken alive. Yeah, don't get taken alive. Shucks, Saddam Hussein should have done that.

Oh, Saddam. Saddam is, like, we've talked about this before. I find it comical that Saddam didn't take that deal. I've had this conversation with my dad and a bunch of other people. I'm sure I've had it here. They were, like, willing. They were, like, there was a deal on the table from George Bush that was like, leave the country, abdicate. What's that word? Um, abdicate, abdicate power, adjudicate. I don't think that's it. Anyway, give up your power and uh i think i want to say it was like

at least a billion dollars that he could take with him abdicate all right i got it a billion you could have had a billion it was at least that much it was like you can take this much like of your wealth with you take your family and leave and you know that like he could have gone to name a place anywhere it's a fucking yemen yemen or something he could have gone somewhere he could have gone to south america and lived out his days in luxury and he was just like fuck you bring it on united states of america i fucking dare you and it's like what did you think was going to happen like like there was no way i remember watching that thing and i was a teenager but i remember watching it being like our president can't back down from this guy like it doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong

it's like it's like an argument between two men it's gone too far like right and wrong doesn't matter anymore if someone's gonna back down or there's gonna be a fight and there's no way anybody can back down without losing a ton of face right now. And everybody, the cheerleaders are watching, the teachers are watching. They're just going to see how it turns out. They don't care anymore. Like it's going to be a fight. So it's either leave or fight. And he thought he could win. He thought that he could defend that country to the point where the United States would like take enough casualties that we'd be like, well, maybe, maybe we renegotiate with Saddam. Maybe he gets to stay in power and maybe some more sanctions. That's what he thought was going to happen. But like, as a teenager, even then I was like, they're going to smoke this guy. Like, like he needs to fucking take that deal and run. And sure enough, like the next day Bush has the ultimatum, right. Where he's at the, at the Oval Office and he's like, this is your last chance, fucking like give up or this is it. And then like, he comes back on TV three hours later and he's like, well, they didn't give up. So tonight I'm announcing that we went into Iraq

with like 800 Tomahawk missiles and we flew the 51st airborne over from here. And, and the 32nd airborne came from here and we've moved seven aircraft carriers and from here, and the 32nd Airborne came from here, and we've moved seven aircraft carriers in from here, here, and here. And, like, the Marines have landed. We've taken the oil fields. And it's like, wait, how long has this war been going on? 37 minutes. That's how long.

The lights have been out. There was criticism of Bush at the time because they felt like he didn't offer Hussein a way to get out of it and save face. They're like, he doesn't understand Middle East culture. Hussein would sooner die than just leave with his tail between his legs. If he wanted them to take the deal, he could have structured it or presented it in a different way. So either he didn't take a deal, either like Taylor's saying,

either he didn't want him to take a deal or he just doesn't understand Middle East culture like they were saying. Well, we all know why he did that shit to begin with. Saddam Hussein was plotting to kill his father. And when you plot to kill him, there was definitely a plot. And maybe it was one of those things where we're like, oh, if we go here, they're going to try to kill there was definitely a plot and and maybe it's one of those things where we're like oh if we go here they're gonna try to kill george we won't fly into this country

now and it was like yeah reroute everything and who knows what happened behind the scenes it's probably like you could probably make a call of duty game about the failed assassination of george h or george walker bush but what was his name george yeah george walker right yeah herbert walker yeah so like i don't know he tried to kill the guy's dad you you might want to be careful how you negotiate with him take the money and run i think so differently now but i remember back then at the time when that was happening like i was like in canada but like you know i've always going to the usa and like when that was happening I was like USA bro don't fuck around I literally

I remember being like Saddam Hussein like rapes people on the daily like he has like a team of rapists like this is a bad person this is like this is like thank god the good guys have the power and I'm like watching it on TV with like my dad and it was like shocking awe

and like things are blowing up and i'm like watching it on tv with like my dad and it was like shocking oh and it was and like things are blowing up and i'm like yeah like fuck like that's the good guys man and i remember at the time thinking that it was like you know at a time and even just in canada i felt that way um but if you want to read about people that make saddam hussein look like an absolute angel, read about Uday and Hussein, his sons. Yes. Who's like, Uday and Hussein. Uday and Hussein. But I thought that was a joke too. Like, if they happened upon Ramsey Bolton, he would be like, you guys are fucked up. What is wrong with you?

I got, yeah, I've got a slave with his dick and fingers cut off behind me, but I don't have 10 of them. What do you do with 10 of them where do you find the time have you guys seen that movie mazul mazul on netflix no it's really good big recommendation it's like kind of like it's uh shit is it in uh is it take i'm so dumb it's in afghanistan i'm not sure there's not a single american in it and they are it's based on a true story and they're like this middle eastern like military force like you know like ragtag bunch comes together like based on like actual events

and they go around and everywhere they go like the sergeant like the the guy he's like the leader he's like he starts kind of picking shit up like he's picking things up and like that connects so much more with me now than when i was like you know way younger when i was like 18 and i was like oh shit don't fuck with the usa baby and at one point they have to get something from this base nearby and they're like let's let's call in the americans to airstrike it And the guy's like, no, we're done with the Americans. Like, they're not going to be here to clean up after. So we can't have them bomb it.

It's going to make a fucking mess. And as, like, small as a mess is, you look at the country and, like, it's, like, all a mess. But you're like, that's, like, a mess that is due to get picked up. It will get picked up. Like, people will handle it or should. In the best case scenario, all this shit get picked up. It will get picked up. People will handle it, or should. In the best case scenario, all this shit gets picked up. There's no point in airstriking this.

It's already obliterated, but he's still like, yo, I don't want to pick this shit up after. Don't call the Americans. It's interesting. No one speaks English, and it's all from that perspective. I thought it was a very fresh take on a war movie or a modern war war movie uh check it out on netflix you have to read the whole thing read it you said no one speaks english do i have to read oh shit i man my brain is so weird i don't remember if i listened to it or i read it i put on subtitles for everything by the way i do as well yeah oh so you're a parent

i've heard it makes your kids better readers. It absolutely would. I don't do that. It makes me a better reader. Before we jump into subtitles, we are overdue. We're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. Oh, yeah, I thought you'd hit it when I was away. Sorry.

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argument was really over the top you know fuck you fuck you, you suck, etc, etc. And I went to the comments on it and they were like, you know, actually snow storage is a big deal. It gets to be that you just can't, there's nowhere else to put it. You shoveled your sidewalk enough times. This is where I put my snow. That's where you put your snow. You can't put your snow in my area because I only have so much room. I have a question about that as someone who lives in a non-snow area is there no way to like melt the snow to dispose of it or is that just way too big of an ask like like energy wise like like

would you with some sort of like a hot air blower or something or like a campfire just like the reason why you you shovel a lot or that why you wouldn't want snow around is that like when snow stays and the reason why you'll shovel constantly is when it stays it gets colder and harder and then it becomes like hard ice

and then you can't move it and so if you melt it now you're going to just get slippery ice everywhere you wouldn't melt it as a way of like having better storage. But there are snow melting devices out there. In New Jersey, every so often the intersection would just be like a frozen lake. Right. And it doesn't matter how good a driver you are.

If it's literally just smooth ice like that. Yeah, you can't do anything on that. Well, they have these like jet engines. They point at the ground. I've seen those. And it just melts it. And, you know, you couldn't do a stretch of road that way, but you could do an intersection. I've also seen them at like a shopping mall or something.

You know, sometimes those piles of snow can take a lot of space and I've seen him cut down to size with that. I'm looking forward to being in a snow climate. I'm like, I was looking at like houses and I see, I, I'm not sure how I'm going to make the initial move. That's, that's, I'm thinking about that a lot. What's the challenge? Why is that? All right. So I want to go like as soon as possible. Right. But like stuff needs to be like parts need to be moving before I move. So like for one thing, I do want to buy a house there and I plan to buy a house there. But part of it thinks Colorado moving to Denver as soon as I'm all federal probation, which is I'm appealing to get out of it early. You can do that after you've done 50% of your time, which w which happened last October, but the court system's jammed up because of COVID. It's like, I can't get a hearing. Um, but October 8th, I think it is I'm done no matter what. So, uh, so what my thought is, I do want to buy a house there. Probably not in Denver. Cause that housing market is crazy. Like half a million dollars barely buys you a decent place.

I would be stepping down. The house I'm in now would cost $800,000 in Denver. I don't want to spend $800,000 on a house. I'm looking more like $4,000, something like that. Describe your neighborhood. My current neighborhood, my potential neighborhood neighborhood the neighborhood i would like to have neighborhood i'm not picky about that at all i could be in a subdivision i could be sort of like in the country that obviously i have to have fast internet and that is really my only concern now

obviously it would be nice to have like grocery stores, restaurants, like community stuff where you like there's women and shit around. Um, I don't want to be in the middle of nowhere where like I got to drive down a mountain 30 minutes and then 30 more minutes into town to get laid. Right. I'd like to be in a city ish area, just maybe not downtown Denver. Cause that's crazy expensive. But i've looked at aurora and like dozens of other suburbs that are within 45 minutes of denver and that's the general perimeter that i'm looking at okay the real question is what is my initial move and i mean like literally and figuratively my move because like i got all this furniture here that needs to come with me so i'm thinking like maybe i rent an apartment for a few months

and move all my shit into an apartment there or rent a house which is like what i'm doing right now and while once i'm like settled and i'm there and my shit is in that state, then I can start house hunting because then I'm able to go to houses and tour them. If I'm trying to buy a house across the country, that's weird, right? If all my shit's here and I've – I've moved across countries a couple times even through countries. A couple things that I agree with is I have a hard time. I need to visualize, right? You want to visualize where you're going to be or whatever, but I think there are two different steps.

I would say put shit in storage where you're at right now, maybe find a temporary place. If you can get a six months lease, lease that's blessed. And then I say, plan a trip and go literally for 10 days or whatever check out every house you wanted to because once you get it that still might be six months until they're willing to release it you know um and you can put your shit i'm sure a ton of your stuff could just go in a fucking storage space like a big ass thing and just sit there and what i could do there's this like i look today there for like 2000 to $2,500, roughly speaking, they will put all my shit in a cube and ship that cube to Colorado.

Definitely do that. So I could do that. And I also looked on Airbnb, you can do like one month plus stays. And that, if I were going to move and like for, for everyone, for anyone out there who rents right now, look at Airbnb month to month stays. They are far cheaper than like apartment and home rentals, like a house rentals and, and the general area I'm looking at, like it's going to cost 2000 to 2,500 a month to get a, what I would consider like a decent, nice place.

You know, that's got like a nice gas kitchen and like a couple of decent bedrooms. It doesn't look like shitty. I don't know how else to put it. Like low income, like shitty, like $1,800 is like, eh, there might be three places on the, on every website conceivable for rent at $1,800 that you'd even consider. You're still going to be like, oh, that bathroom's kind of small. And I don't like how that, it's a shower curtain, not like a sliding door or a swinging door. It's like shit like that.

But on Airbnb, when you go to the monthly stays for like $1,400 to $2,000 in that price range per month, they're really nice places. Like they're acceptable. So that's a thing too. I could like stay in an airbnb

furnished with my shit in storage potentially out there while i house yeah okay that works too i just think like you know definitely take the time to find a place you know what i mean yeah you want to get inside because i don't know if you're like me you could get in there and be like this place is haunted i don't want it i don't believe in ghosts but I you know you never know what it's going to smell like right like I bought this I signed this lease sight unseen I showed up to this house and there was like a guy from the agency here and he's like well you know what the place looks like so no need to do a tour or anything but here I'm like I've never been here before in my life he's like well you saw it online right I'm like I saw the price and the square footage and I signed I'm like, I've never been here before in my life. He's like, well, you saw it online, right? I'm like, I saw the price and the square footage and I signed. I was like, you have no idea how hard it's been to find like a house in a decent area

for like less than $2,000 a month. This place is like $1,500 a month. Like I just signed like, and I love this house. Like this is like a four bedroom house with like a nice-ish kitchen and really nice bathrooms. I'm in my bed. I've been through it several times. I've got an office on the other end, but I'm in my bedroom because I had the whole air conditioning snafu and I've been

too lazy to move this huge setup. In any case, it's like big bedrooms. It's everything. I love this house. I would buy this house if this was an area that allowed me to smoke dope, but it's not. So we're making a move. Yeah.

You kind of went the direction I was going to suggest. Are you familiar with pods? P-O-D-S? Yes, very much so. Yeah. So they kind of do what you need. You pack up a container. I think they store it.

So like if you wanted to stay in an Airbnb for two months, all your shit's in that box. And then when you buy a house, they bring the box to your house and you unpack it. And it seems like the mechanics of what you're looking for. Yeah, I think so. I think so. You know, I've looked at the real estate market there a good bit. Like I said, the suburbs of Denver, um, you know, within 45 minutes in a perimeter. And, uh, it's, uh, there's some really nice places. Although there is this little, this weird thing where it's like at $350,000, I'm like, ah, I really don't like any of these houses at four 50. I'm like, oh, I love these houses. This is perfect at At $600,000, it's like, oh my fucking God, this is three times as much house.

Like when you go from like $450,000 to $600,000, it's like going from like middle income housing to mansions with cathedrals outside. There's a $600,000 house just outside of Denver that has has like this roman architecture like thing in the backyard like they built the parthenon in their backyard with big marble pillars and there's like fountains in the yard that look like something out of fresh prince of bel-air and it's like big winding staircases going up the kitchen is like 800 square feet like the bathrooms all have big jacuzzi tubs and marble heated floors and it's like oh my god for for like 150 000 more you're getting three times the house it's absurd that route but i i think what i'm actually gonna do is i think he asked if i was

gonna go that route and spend 600 and i'm not, I think what I want to do. Cause that's a lot of space for you. Yes. That's way too much square footage for one thing. Like, like I think what I'd like to do is because I think the housing market is probably down because of COVID and everything. I think maybe, maybe get a place.

Condos are down. Like people usually are in the cities big time. Right now it's a seller's market. Well, I don't give a fuck. We'll see what, what October brings. buy either way that's what i said yeah but i was thinking like buy a house hang on to it for like two years buy another house and start renting out the last house and you know maybe do a little real estate i mean that seems like such an easy sort of investment to do it It just seems like it fails once a decade, but then it recovers three years later. So it's like,

I can do it. What's that? Every single mom can do it. You can, every single mom can do it. No, I'm not talking about real estate agent. I want to imagine you setting out cookies.

Yeah. I'm gonna get my Mary Kay business rolling too. You know what, Kyle? I'll be, I'll be Hugh honey or Vic vinegar. You can be the other one. You can have the pick. I'm Vic Vinegar. Alright, I'll be Hugh Honey.

This doesn't mean anything to me. Who are these people? It's always sunny in Philadelphia. They pose as real estate guys. Honey and Vinegar Realty where he's like, oh, just come on in, guys. And then Mac's like, you're going to buy this house? You're going to buy this house! I'm going to take you by your fingers

to show what it's like to be inside a really big house. When I moved to North Carolina, we were looking at houses and I sort of gauged them by how far they were the drive from work. And the house we bought and ended up living in for like 15 years or something. It was nice. It was fine. You you've been there but if we had been like three miles closer to cisco it was an entirely different and better community i didn't realize that this two-lane highway was a real like unofficial divide in the like statuses of the neighborhood poverty line so like the place wasn't bad like you know you saw it but um i liked your house it was it was it was very nice it was a comfortable place to raise a family but

i guess i'm saying like it'd be cool if you lived there for six months so you got a lay of the land and you would kind of know like oh yeah like it's stupid but this railroad track really divides one side of town from the other or whatever it is. And you learn what's important and what matters. Sure. Yeah, I have different concerns than I think a lot of buyers, like school systems and all that stuff are actually a downside for me. Oh, it's a mile from the nearest school. And I'm like, well, I could get laid, but also in a lot of trouble.

So maybe not. I don't need that temptation to my life again. Did I mention that I'm an, you know, I don't need that temptation. I don't need that temptation in my life again. Did I mention that I'm an ex-con? I don't need that temptation. Not again. Never again. They made me take these pills. Are you familiar with chemical castration?

The real estate agent's like, all right, we'll find a different area. All right. You'd like a laptop. So yeah, like my main concern is internet. like if i could get gigabit i'd be so happy i've got like i've got gigabit here and i'm so happy with it like i can do

everything right i can pardon i think denver is one of the cities that has good internet like i think so too yeah that was that was a deciding factor for me for purchasing the house i came across three houses that i very much loved that were easily within the realm of what i would pay and i was excited about them and then i go on to there's only one internet service provider here that does like the 1.5 gigabyte and i like look it up and i would it would be annoying because i'd have to check that first i got to the point where i would check the internet first and uh that's why i ended up coming back to montreal i was near toronto and outside of toronto there's like nothing like literally 10 megabytes 20 megabytes there's just no way like i gotta like i gotta like stream while jerking off

and like uploading my buddies on our wi-fi like it's all got to happen. That literally internet decided where I lived. If I don't have at least three screens to distract me at any given time, I might start to dwell on my life and get sad. You have to be good enough that two other people can use Netflix and you don't care in a shooter.

That's what Gigabit gives you that 20 doesn't. You can probably... What does 20 gigabit... I'm sorry. 20 megabit limit you that 20 doesn't. You can probably... What does 20 gigabit... I'm sorry, 20 megabit limit you for? Netflix caps out at what? Like five? Oh, it's more than that, right? I thought it was 15.

Like 4K? Maybe I'm out of date then. I might be wrong. Even if it's 15, that's less than 20. So you can do one stream. But I want two 4K streams. Yeah. Upload. Uploading uploading your video so much headroom

that i can still play shooters yeah and and i want to i want some wiggle room for their bullshit because if they promise a hundred i'm probably going to get 70 at at the like worst of the worst i saw a tiktok that's that speaks about unlocking that apparently that's a thing built in windows 10 reserves 20 of your bandwidth for their automatic updates and stuff like that so you 20 and you just turn it off on your computer it's like reserves 20 of your bandwidth for windows services and your computer is doing that well i saw it on tiktok so it could be bullshit but he clicked through some shit on the computer and looked like it. Internet's the main concern.

Honestly, it sounds ridiculous, but a dispensary nearby is a concern because I'm going to be going. If the fucking dispensary is 15 minutes away, that's no good. There needs to be a dispensary 5 or 10 minutes or someone who fucking delivers dope. Kyle, you're going to be loading up

all the time. I'm going to be growing. We will be manufacturing. I can't wait to come hang out at Kyle's house once you got this all. Just get fucking zooted for like five days straight. We can both reinvest thousands of dollars into physical magic cards. Oh, absolutely.

I'll build a magic table. Yeah. You'll play with us too? You yeah uh you have to i'll play oh dude we could teach you to play and like it would take about 10 minutes of refreshing for me to be like oh yeah all right remember it all but like you'll pick it up in 40 minutes you're gonna you'll be playing and you'll be like oh that's you know when you want someone to play you know they're gonna have a good time with it i really do think this is a game you'll have fun with especially in like a physical like i hope so i hope you're right i hope it's not that situation where you're like taylor this video is so funny no no wait wait just wait for it you're still telling someone a

story and they're like four that's cool zen you, Zen. You're like, I'm losing them. You're like, that was the funny part. I'm just killing time now. How about those blues? Dude, Super Bowl this weekend, any picks? Let's go. Let me see. I bet with our boy, Chocolate Thunder, who is our, I think he's our only black $50 patron.

So we hang on to him like grim death so that we can keep making our jokes. Let me see. He is not our only black patron. He's not. What? He's the blackest though. He is the blackest patron. He's a Nigerian prince.

I'm going to my PMs with him to like verify um let's see i said he said just to make sure it's a ten dollar bet you took my homes and i took brady right and i'm like i don't remember you pick i think my home's gonna win though he's goes he's like if that's what you think i'll take brady like all right he goes but i think my home's too i gotta go with my goat buck's gotta play some i was – I was like, Buck's got to play some serious D. Hurt my homes and it's GG. I pray they crack him, but don't fuck him up too bad. So, yeah, I went with my homes.

So I went with the Chiefs. I think Brady's going to win. Apparently I'm in the minority on that. And I don't know – I liked basketball a long, long time ago. I want Brady. Football. I'm not current anymore but um i just put it all on like you know when the bright lights shine one guy's done it 10 times before whatever it is eight times yeah the other guy hasn't so and the other guy did it last year

the other guy's done it once yeah successfully well if i knew that that might have changed my mind yeah he did it last he did it last year rather convincingly. Yeah, Kansas City's a good team. I mean, it's a win-win if the Missouri team wins. He's a fucking all-star. Brady reinforces that he's the best of all time even more. I want Brady to win because, like I said during our hangout, I love greatness in my time. I like seeing it. I like being adjacent to it just via watching it on fucking television

and rooting for it. I want Brady to get that seventh ring. I think he's been to 10th. I don't know if this is his 10th or his 11th, but seven out of 10 or seven out of 11 are both incredible, incredible stats. I really want Brady to win. But when the money was on the line, I was like, let's go with Mahomes. Let's go with the Chiefs.

And either way, I'm going to be happy because I'm either going to win $10 or I'm going to get to see Tom Brady win another fucking Super Bowl, and I'm going to be jazzed about that. So Mahomes won last year. My whole theory was based on him getting nerves. Yeah. He won last year. Don't listen to me.

They are the reigning Super Bowl champions. What was the score? Did they win by a lot last year they are the reigning Super Bowl champions what was the score did they win by a lot last year I didn't watch it I don't recall the score last year maybe both quarterbacks were inexperienced I don't recall who they played none of them have Tom's

experience no one has Tom's experience and the playoffs are in the Super Bowl but I gotta go with the youth winning out plus I've watched Brady play No one has Tom's experience in the playoffs or in the Superbowl, but yeah, I gotta, I gotta go with the youth, uh, winning out. Plus I've watched Brady play through the playoffs and man,

he's been throwing a lot of, uh, interceptions. Uh, it hasn't looked good. The defense has been saving his ass almost every game. Um, if there,

if the defense cracks my homes again, my homes had that bad foot like two games ago, had a concussion either one or two games ago where he was wobbled and taken off the field. If they crack him, then I would definitely think Brady's got a great chance. Who are you betting for again? I bet on the Chiefs. Okay, then I'll bet on the Patriots, or whoever he's on.

Oh, you want to bet with me? Sure, yeah, $10. Okay. I'm on the line at $20 now. I'll take the buccaneers then okay yep let's go bucking let's go bucks the old the old let's go bucks too i really want fucking tom brady to win this thing i just i i did that thing that i do now where i bet against what i want to happen so that I'm happy either way. I want the $10 either way. I don't care about the results at all. A little sad either way. I'm either going to lose 20 bucks or I'm going to get to see if I lose 20, then it'll be worth it. Cause I get to

see Tom Brady win the fucking seventh ring. And I hope he doesn't retire. Hope he comes back and wins a fucking eighth ring. I want four. I want it to be symmetrical, right? I want him to be able to do this, right? Cause I don't know if you've seen that I wanted to be able to do this right because I don't know if you've seen that picture of him like this and he's got like all seven of his rings on or six of his what is it seven and he's going eight or six and he's go I think he's got six but he's got he's got four on this hand and then two on and he's just like and I'm just like oh my god and. And each one is different, right? I wonder if they're sized for the appropriate finger, right?

Like, is this my pinky finger ring? Or are they just big on his pinky finger? You guys all know the problem when you put your 2005 Super Bowl ring on your 7-hand. It's fun to see them because, let me find the picture, because each one is more gaudy and diamond encrusted than the last. You know what? As if the Kansas City Chiefs win

and Colorado beats St. Louis in the NHL on Saturday and Sunday, I owe Kyle $20. But if the Blues win both of those, then you're up 10. and I could be up 10 I could potentially be up 20

yeah it's 5 per hockey game and there's 2 this weekend though look at those gaudy ass gigantic fucking rings yeah that's awesome he could beat the shit out of someone it would be worth it in hopes a few diamonds would get stuck in your head I feel like those hurt to wear he's gotten so much more It would be worth it in hopes a few diamonds would get stuck in your head. That hurts.

I feel like those hurt to wear. He's gotten so much more handsome than he was when he was younger. This guy is – Oh, yeah. He's jaw – Like, he's literally more handsome. He got Invisalign. His jaw is chiseled like he's thinner.

You need to clone him. Yeah, if you pull up his rookie season picture and he's a little – He's down 17 pounds and fixed his snaggle that's the future woody you're just six super bowls away you're there you're close to this you're actually close to this like soon you're gonna be cruising down looking like this with your golf cart picking up other guys garbages and fucking their wives? That's your final form. Oh, man. God, I'm still thinking about that video.

That murder snow video. That's one of the most wild videos. That was messed up. That's so messed up. I haven't seen a true blue murder video on the internet in as long as I would have preferred. I used to watch that there used to be a website like websites that i'd go to when friends came and i was always like i don't want to go to this website but we should go motherless yeah um what was it called like rotten.com and

yeah watch people die and oh my god all this i think i think e-bombs world is still around but like now it's probably just like cartoon comedy videos there used to be some weird shit on there in like 2004 2005 youtube was a big deal i guess youtube didn't start till 2005 right yeah 2005 2006 i think something like that yeah isn't that crazy how many years of your life? Yeah. I'm younger than you guys, but like that you didn't have YouTube where it's like, Oh, I have to, I have to,

you have to turn on the TV and hope that something's on. So many, I want to watch something so fucking specific. You know, like a 25 minute wait somewhere is now I'm like, Oh, I got some shit to do. I have things to do things to look at like 25 minutes back. Then it's like, Oh my God, I'm like, oh, I got some shit to do. I have things to do, things to look at. Like 25 minutes back then, it's like, oh my God.

I was on hold for 25 minutes. Yeah. And it's like now. Taylor mentioned the specific part. I always thought about the on-demand part, but it's like, oh, I want to watch a science-based TV show about deltoid development. Yeah.

There's a selection on YouTube to watch. On TV, it's nothing close to that. Not just that. I remember the days where you turn on a channel and actors are there. You're like, oh, I like that guy. And so you watch this movie and you finish it. But you came in eight minutes into it. So you have no fucking clue what that movie was.

And you could like, maybe speak to one guy, but like, you know, the guy in this movie, no, not that. Did you ever see a movie where he's like a doctor? It's not even like you could go on the internet.

There's the amount of arguments that I had with my friends, like being like, like in high school, being like a dentist gets paid this my buddy's like there's no way dentists get paid that and so we'll argue for like a whole day and like kind of like each other less for two days after arguing over a thing that could have just been a search you could ask sorry nowadays literally like so many things so speaking of like not on demand tv in my family my father he was like the king and we were all there to please the king and life went well for you if

the king liked you that that was kind of the dynamic in my house growing up and and that's not like my observation or whatever that's how he would explain it to us you know you are all my servants and i am the king of this castle and it's in your best interest to please me. Okay. So when he wanted to watch television, there was no question. There was no like, oh, dad's entering the room. It's just a matter of time. And he'll take the

remote control off your lap and change it to something else. TV wasn't on demand. Like whatever you were watching, it's just gone. You'll never know how that ended and also like just even like i think about yeah it just it's gone now i think pandemic obviously it's a terrible thing and uh you know it sucks but like i do think about had this occurred at any other time in my life oh my god like if this happened in like 96 i would be

like bro i'm fucking tired of mario bros 3 i'm fucking tired of the one tv and the one vhs of kindergarten cop like i'm fucking done here like i'm done like and like it's like you gotta share with your siblings kindergarten cop was such a funny movie. I forgot. I got out of prison and went right into lockdown mode. With no flux in between. It's almost like God custom made it for you. This is all your story.

This whole shit, everything going on is your story, Kyle. Perfectly right after you get out, get the fuck into lockdown. We're all just figments in kyle's world i look there's at least a five percent chance that's the truth there's at least a five percent chance that none of you are real so this is all march is a pretty big stretch of time that you could have been outside i i have not been able to do any of the things that i wanted to do i made so many plans in prison what i'm i'm so looking forward to october you have no idea how long i've been looking forward to this being over i can remember like a week or two after i got arrested which is like four fucking years ago or five years ago or whatever it was.

Were you in your 20s back then? Yeah. When was the arrest? What year was that? I don't even know. I don't even know. You can probably find it. 2016, 2017?

It's probably on the internet somewhere. Yeah, it might be. You never know. It says August 2017. So like, yeah, three and a half years ago i can remember being in my bathroom at my old house taking a piss and just saying to myself this was gonna pass this will all be over eventually there's a lot of hoops and hurdles but no matter what happens there is a future within the next five years

where I'm high as fuck and it's coming. It's coming. And I have held on to that little thought that I had taken a piss in the bathroom four years ago or whatever it was for the last four years, every hoop and hurdle that I've jumped through from fucking surrendering to U.S. Marshals and getting DNA tested and appearing in federal courtrooms and state courtrooms and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal defenses and like being in a prison in fucking Alabama and like taking prison showers and like getting out and getting piss tested every week and going to fucking court mandated therapy sessions like every step of the way i've just been like this sounds so awful are you stressing me out talking this is weed this was weed right yeah like what a waste of fucking money it was half an ounce of waste of fucking money all that shit for some like how dumb is that like i'm actually getting mad hearing you talk about it like weed like how fucking stupid yeah it's so dumb like that's so dumb oh my god. Well, I'm glad it all happened because it's a hilarious story.

You should have written it in the book. Just write it in the book. Everything I've done in my life, I wanted it to be interesting. I don't like periods in my life that are just boring. There's some periods in my life where I'm like, shit, nothing happened. It's like, you know, there's some TV shows where you're like,

nothing really happened between seasons two and three. That's kind of how my life was for a little while. I was like, you know, I didn't really do anything between seasons two and three. Season two, Walking Dead. Bullshit. Yeah, that was a boring season. We're in like season seven or eight right now and crazy shit's been happening. Lincoln's here. Oh yeah, that was

the season he went to prison. Oh yeah, that was a crazy season, right? With Snow. Snow was in that season. Cool, cool. The coolest thing is you didn't get to get high for like the entire trump presidency yes that that's the worst thing yes worst thing yeah obviously i'm joking but have you thought about writing a book uh maybe i gotta do some more interesting stuff though. I got to do another interesting thing. What if I ghostwrite an autobiography for you? And I just,

I mean, there's a lot of gaps in your life. I don't know. I can fill them in. Just fill them in. They'll be full of exciting things. There will be no bad seasons. Like there's no way he was a Vietnam vet.

There I was. Charlie was everywhere. I was minus 14 years old yeah uh different time no i think i've lit i think that i could write a few chapters of a good book because um like i've done some crazy shit and i've lived i've met some crazy people and done some nutty stuff and had some weird experiences and uh, uh, there's been some cool ups and downs, which is what I would, would want in my life. Like the, uh, you know, I I'm glad that this all happened to me. I really am because I think it's interesting and I, I, I enjoy living an

interesting life. Like when I tell people, I know so many people have these boring ass fucking lives where it's just nine to five, nine to five, nine to five nine to five retire die it's like you didn't you didn't go to prison once bro like you never got high on top of a skyscraper with like three incredibly wealthy famous people like you've never fucked a celebrity like you know like like you haven't done anything fun and i've done all those things and and I've done more. I'm not going to say her name in pig Latin, so no one will know. Absolutely not. I've done all sorts of crazy things, right?

You know? Marvin K. Electra Bay. I fucked Arliss K. O'Hanson, Jay. I fucked Arliss K. O'Hanson, Jay. Is that how you do pig Latin, I think? It's close. I will not say. You know, to what you're saying,

I wouldn't say like uh like necessarily that everyone should like smoke smoke on the skyscraper or go to prison but like i do understand what you're saying one thing that i i saw a video once and it was just this guy asked this old dude he was like hey you got a piece of advice for younger people and it stuck with me so much based on how this guy said it he was like yes he's like take the harder path always take the harder path just because like later on you'll look back and you'll have taken the easy path and it'll be done because it was easy but it's the harder path that you really wanted and you didn't do and i think like that leads to an interesting life like i think like what you're saying hardships can definitely lead

to an interesting life like some of my you're saying, hardships can definitely lead to an interesting life. Some of my biggest character building moments were kind of shitty things that happened. Yeah, I think that's definitely true. I've had fun. That experience of the whole thing, the whole getting in trouble thing

and going to prison is, I think, equally as interesting as all of the crazy fps russia stuff i did and it's like yeah it's kind of cool that there was another ridiculous chapter after like it's like it's like oh yeah chapter chapter four is this ridiculous fps russia thing uh chapter five is probably gonna be boring oh just wait it's over chapter five you're not gonna believe it heaven chapters four through six be fps russia would have been cool too ah no this this this was a whole nother thing you can't get this don't you wish that you look

obviously you would you don't want to go to prison nobody wants to go to prison of course but don't you wish you had like that experience? I do. I do think about that. I actually do think about first of all, I do like chapter three. I was in a Super Bowl commercial. Chapter four. It just goes right to the next one. I agree with that. Which one of you was in a Super Bowl commercial?

Kyle was. Kyle, that was in the Super Bowl? Wasn't it? I don't know. It aired in the Canadian Super Bowl for us. When you watch it on TV, maybe we we have different commercials but like that commercial aired for me during the super bowl and i know because i have like friends that were in the room oh yeah that were in the room that were like why aren't you in this commercial i'm like bro i'm trying

i didn't know this was going down i didn't i didn't get a call i don't know there was a lot of negotiation to get me it was was, it was a fucking, you know, I was there. I was like, I know that guy. Was it the one with Robert Downey Jr? Yeah.

It was the one with Robert Downey Jr. And it was direct. It was directed by, um, who's Madonna's ex-husband. Um, Guy Ritchie, Guy Ritchie. It was directed by Guy Ritchie.

So I got to hang out with him all day. So sick. So sick. And, uh, like there was this part where like I had a celebrity confirmed. I was like I had the deal like it was all signed up. And then they were like, hey.

We found where Kyle made a Call of Duty hate video. We can't have him in a Call of Duty commercial. He's making Call of Duty hate videos because I had this FES Russia video where I shoot shoot modern warfare 2 with a shotgun in each hand and uh and kitty was like you don't understand kyle is the biggest call of duty fan there is let me show you something and she screenshots how much play time i have in call of duty 4 and sends it to him and they're like all right problem solved literally like all that time i spent grinding in Call of Duty 4 is what made the Super Bowl commercial happen. How much time was it?

Do you know? On my main account, it was close to 100 days. Nice. You know what you had said about like, don't I ever want to go to prison? No, absolutely not. Never in my life. But I want to experience it as crazy that's

what i mean really when i look at black mirror episodes and stuff i'm like remember that one where like like those two dudes start fucking before they started fucking i was like whoa this is cool i was not gonna make cobras or something or something venom yeah was that the name of the game i forget or maybe the episode was the name of the game yeah but i i saw that and i was like yo this is sick like i would want to kind of play games like in scenarios like i would love to play a game where like i sit down and like i have to live in prison and like when i get my ass kicked my brain thinks i got my ass kicked and like when i take off the headset or like whatever like the glasses like i'm like oh fuck bro i am not cut out for prison but like you can

go back the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day and then like after a month like it's like you kind of like you like you got those skills that you learned in prison like making mac and cheese in the fucking back of the toilet bowl or something like that i'm just saying like anything or just whatever it is but like i want to mean something and feel like not a game but like an experience you know and not just that like i want to like do lots of things in life like like you know rob a bank and get away with it can i do that in real like in a video game like if it was that accurate like i think about that stuff i want to experience lots of crazy shit but i would never do in real life

but i want to do it in a game you know i could totally rob a bank see that's what i think all the time that's what i think i think that too i could do a lot of things i would probably fuck it up early on but in my head as i'm like going to bed at night i'm like i could totally rob a bank oh i thought of a good one i think i think i could have like i want to like try and manage the pandemic as the president like that's a game like i want to be the president and i want all the bullshit too i want my phone to ring with like people call my wife and like i'm doing things and like there's like there's people dying but like we need the money and like whatever and i want to juggle as soon as you learn about the pandemic dump all your like real estate stocks all your carnival cruises your hotels etc invest in shit that makes you money you could be one of those like richard as the president

yeah that's what i like that's what those two georgia senators did that's what yeah they saw coming from a mile away yeah well they were briefed on it for you like security and it's not so-called security it's called something else information or intel so they speaking of good no i don't want to anymore they dumped all their personal stock to make money speaking of the experiences and stuff like that uh since i last been here i booted up tarkov and it was the funniest fucking thing i booted up and i bought like some 20 pack like way back so i had all this gear that i could bring i like got my guy all done up i'm like let's go see what's up i like spawned in the

factory no i spawned in a field and i'm like running and i'm like i know this game's crazy welcome to tark so maybe i just like am i gonna am i maybe there's like a lie here and i'm like running and i'm like i know this game's crazy welcome to tark so maybe i just like am i gonna maybe there's like a lie here and i'm like and i said something i was kind of like these this game this this i could be lying here for a long time glad headshot off from no one i don't even know who you never do i don't know well to boot it up the next game i'm like let's go type so then i go to the factory level or whatever i'm inside i have like a pistol i like walk into this room and i like turn around i'm kind of like is that i got bam in that he was just like ducked behind a barrel like looking at my door like this and then the next one i'm like bro i'm going in with a fucking knife

because i'm losing shit i'm just just going to go with my knife. Maybe I'll find some shit on the floor. I, like, fucking get shot by a guy where I was like, I wish I had my gun this time. Why would I not bring – why would I literally bring a knife to a gunfight? And I think the part that killed me about the game was it was so long in between each of those matches. What I just described to you was like a 40-minute play session of Tarkov.

But I was in those three matches, and they each lasted so fast. those matches what i just described to you was like a 40 minute play session of dark off but i was in those three matches and they each lasted so fast yeah it's it's a great game i haven't played it in a in a while now they made some changes i didn't care for but i was obsessed with it for a long time woody's still really deep into it um i i think fitness is kind of taken front stage in his uh it is like you know that part of his brain that needs a thing to do. An obsession. Yeah. But it's one of the better games

in existence. It's got some really cool fucking mechanics, man, with that flea market and like the fact that when you die, you're losing shit with value that you can't get back. And when you kill someone

and you take their shit, you're fucking loaded up with valuables and you want out and your heart's shit yeah you're fucking loaded up with valuables and you want out and your heart's going all right i just gotta get the fuck out of here but i'm hurt i'm limping i'm limping and i know that my character's going every time he walks so i gotta walk slow so my character doesn't grunt maybe i'll find some like bandages as i go hear you from 50 yards away as a wounded bird who can't fly anymore. And, you know, you don't want to get into another gunfight.

And if you don't know the game very well, you don't know where to go to get out. When I first started, like it was like what you said a lot of times is bam, headshot. I'm dead. And I wouldn't know what or who had even killed me or from where. After a while, you watch enough videos, you play enough hours, you're like, you know, the cone of effect where you need to be looking and where danger is mostly it could be that bush over there don't get me wrong but most of the time like we need to be looking to the right and it's it's just drama like like i can remember like going in getting a few kills and being like

all right now let's get out and i've got like mid, Middy, my friend, like I called him, I'm like, I can't get out of Tarkov. I'm sharing my screen with you, guide me out. And he's like pulling up, he doesn't know either. So he's got a map online and he's like, well, what are your extracts? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know how to figure that out. You press O twice. I didn't know that though. So I'm just going to all of them and none of them are working and time's ticking down. And finally, I'm just going to all of them, and none of them are working. And time's ticking down. And finally, I'm just like, all right, well, I'm just going to hide all my gear in a bush, and I'll get it back from insurance, I guess. And that's that.

And he's like, no, you have to die for that to work. And I'm like, oh, no, I got to find someone to kill me now. It's a nightmare. It was a nightmare. It's really stressful. Yeah, it's stressful. And the lows make the highs it's a pretty good game i haven't been playing much lately but i've been keeping the

lights on like there's this hideout i had like 10 gpus in the bitcoin generator and you can manufacture gpus so now the number is like 17 i need to get to level 30 to get to the level 2 Bitcoin thing. I did a bunch of gunsmiths things. I'm just kind of like, my guy's got 12 million rubles or something. If I ever want to play, I'll be able to play properly. I just keep the lights on. If you guys, Taylor, Woody,

if you want to do a little gaming maybe later in the week, next week, something like that, Call of Duty just dropped the new Zombies map. I haven't played it yet, but it's new map new mechanics new bosses new zombies new weapons uh there's something called a ray k47 which is like a the new super weapon it's a fully automatic ray gun it looks like an ak with an underbarrel grenade launcher uh you can pack punch it three times like everything else bad motherfucker apparently i haven't I haven't even seen any footage of it yet. But I think it's like a Vietnam fire base, like a mountain hilltop that's been turned into a fire base, like a defensive, maybe artillery position.

Is Middy good already? I don't know if Middy's played. He and I were supposed to play tonight, but we're doing this, obviously. But I haven't played yet. I plan to play soon ish yeah i'm down to play from the video it looks cooler than the first map yeah i was so sick too it is the first map is great i was just sick and tired of it i felt like to call it call it zombies yeah i just i try man i have i get so i always get so bored. At some point, I'm just like, fuck this.

These ones are good at staking off the boredom because there's so much stuff to do, but they make this mistake every time. If they would have released just three maps in the beginning, there would have been enough play that now you wouldn't feel like you had drilled this one to death. Instead of me having three options where it's like, oh, I'll bounce back to this one. That'll be fun. i haven't done that in a bit but the variety it's like now

that the second one has come out i will never play that first one again because it has been drilled to death i'm sick i've played so many hours of it and like the cool thing about this zombies you play so like you can beat this zombies like like like there's tons of easter eggs to do hurdles to jump through to unlock all sorts of crazy shit but whenever you want to you can trigger an extraction like every five to ten rounds i don't recall but and like there's like a showdown and like one part of the map where like a helicopter comes and you just have to kill all the zombies that are there and then the helicopter will fly you off and you win and that's kind of cool because like we all we all usually wait till

late like around 40 or so around 50 it's like a gamble yeah when it's hard because like killing those last 80 zombies or whatever they'll be like two bosses even when you're not playing tarkov you're playing tarkov i haven't played tarkov in a long ass time i i but but when i did play i was playing all fucking day every day i had people walk me through the zombies like i went through like i went through the the things with it like i just like i don't know there's something that i don't know i just and i when i got black ops i didn't like it so much but i thought zombies was its strongest feature at first yeah and then i started playing it more and then i got like tired of zombies quickly and uh like i played the online

whole bunch but i don't know i don't know what it is because like i should like it but i don't like it doesn't but i'm thinking of things speaking of things i shouldn't like i like i did not like i downloaded fortnight like when it first came out and like played i was like i don't like this and then a certain part of me like when i was playing cyberpunk which i did love and i put 100 hours into and i thought it was awesome, I got to this point where I was like, you know what? I put 100 hours into this game that's unfinished and not polished, and I had fun.

And I was like, why don't I just go over to, like, the most polished free game there is? And I booted up Fortnite, mostly because I'm obsessed with Halo and Master Chief was in it. And I don't build shit. I don't like the building. I don't like anything about it. fact i hate when people build and i started playing that game and like that game's good that game's fun unfortunately it's just filled with so many fucking losers

and the culture of it is so ugly makes them losers in ugly culture i just think like for example like you know it is so i kind of like it now like Like, it's funny. But, like, the culture of, like, you get in there and you boot the game up and you're about to play, and a 10-year-old is like, oh, f***! And, like, his character's dancing with, like, the newest 21 Savage song playing. And he's, like, Kratos and 21 Savage is playing. And he's, like, doing some dance. And you hear him screaming.

And, like, you hear, like at the mom in the back, like, but he's like one more game, you bitch. And I'm like, that like is like, you know, it's ugly,

but I do think about like, well, me and my buddies go on, like I've convinced a couple of friends. I'm like, you'll come on fortnight. Trust me. Like,

we're just going to smack some of these kids up going on there. And like beating them is actually fun. When you think it like that that it is like you're going out there and slapping these fucking these little dummies it's like all the pros moved on they're on war zone now they're off fortnight so you're just left with the kids that like are left there playing on the ipad or whatever and you go in there and fuck them up i tried to play pub g the other day like uh me and a couple of my friends who we used to play pub g all the time i loved it me too i've got like 1500 hours that's why i didn't play fortnite i was like pub g's superior so i didn't i never agree i was pretty fucking good at pub g um i just played it so much like i'd say we won team, like the quads or whatever squad.

We'd win 20% of the time. One fifth, one quarter of the matches we played, we'd win. There's 25 other teams. We were pretty fucking good. And I tried to get on the other day and play some duos and stuff. The player base is so low now, they added bots. So I was doing okay. I killed a couple guys and it's just me left.

My teammate's dead. And this guy, I see an enemy and I'm just like, oh, I'm going to get this guy. And I'm like behind a rock and I'm waiting on him to like, you know, play that peak game with you. I'm trying to get ahead. I'm like, I'll get him in the head. I'll get him in the head.

I've played enough Tarkov now. Like I'm going to be even better than I used to be. I'm going to headshot this guy. And he comes out from behind his rock and starts sprinting at me. And I'm like, what a dummy. And I kill him. And I notice his name is like JRJ63147. And I'm like, oh, that's one of those fucking bots.

And like I kept running into bots. And there's no satisfaction in killing a bot at all if anything they're a really annoying distraction if there are bots mixed in with players it's like you don't know who to focus on and you feel really dumb if you're yeah like dealing with a bot and like treating it like a player so you're not just like jumping out and spraying it down you're like trying to peek and like head bob and weave and stuff and try to be tactical it's a bot it's it's retarded the bots are so so bad and so like you're you're playing you're playing like it's fucking shroud over there and the bot is like and a real player comes up from the side and kills you we played like 10

games and i'll never play again what a fall from grace that game had yeah huge fall we did we did an epic meal time with them actually and there's like a sick brand deal they actually paid like excellent money and it was great and i was a huge pub g fan and i was so hyped about it and like you couldn't not tell me like that pub g had such promise it was great and then when like those keys and shit started to come out, that's when I was like, no, bro, this is not it. You're like doing the wrong things. It was like, even when they made the Xbox port to it,

I was like, that's not where you're at right now. This is not important. And then people like, well, like complete PUBG with me on Xbox. And I'm like, I've never been like a game snob. But I was like, have you seen how that fucking thing runs on Xbox? I don't understand why you would ever play that like a game like that at that time now it could be great i have no idea but they just focused on the wrong shit yeah and you know what

i gave fortnite a lot of shit and like you know like i said for the like the the shallow reasons that i do but that is like a great game and like i'm I'm like, I'm like a brand whore. Like I love like certain brands. Like I just care about, like it used to be like caring about a brand is selling out or doing something is like you're a sellout. But here I am like 10 years later and I'm like, bro, you were in a fucking commercial.

Like, like I like things. Like I think call of duty is cool. Or I think like something like, I even think like, Whoa, look at this thing. It's got a fucking little Coca-Cola on it. That's cool. I bought these things called mini brands.

They're just literally little brands. Like, you just open it up, and it's like a little fucking bottle of A1 steak sauce. And I'm like, sick. And, like, I like that shit. And so Fortnite, literally, like, to me, to me, like being master chief and you have baby Yoda following you and you have like a Terminator arm on your back and you're using predators, active camouflage. And like the, the music playing are like songs that,

you know, like there is something about it that I'm like, this is jokes. They put a lot of polish into it. And I, I like slept on it because i was like ah fuck fortnite but it was fun i also hate building that's also i was like if you really like brands and like propaganda uh next time you're in atlanta try to go to the

coca-cola museum and go on the tour if it's open again because of the pandemic or whatever you literally like go through a propaganda tour for Coca-Cola. They have the vault where they have the secret recipe. The first thing you do is sit through a Pixar-style cartoon with the Coca-Cola bears, and it's so good that at the end, I'm like, why isn't this an actual

full-length cartoon? I want to know what happens to the little bear. I love those bears. They're fucking great. The Pixar cartoon they made is hot match. With the penguins like the polar bears and the penguins and the shit yeah i love those those and then like you tour the whole factory or what they show you of it and like you see the bottling of coca-cola and how all that works and then you go into this room where they have these uh they've got like soft drink fountains you know with like the buttons for each soda and they've got like four fountains like all attached to each other in a circle on like a podium.

And then there's like 10 podiums. So there's like 40 soda fountain machines and there's an endless supply of cups. And the sodas are all experimental sodas they've never released or Coca-Cola products from like around the world. or Coca-Cola products from around the world. So there's all sorts of orange Coca-Cola and tangerine Coca-Cola and some weird Sprite that you've never heard of and rutabaga cola and cinnamon cola. You're just sitting there drinking a gallon of sugar water, and it's really cheap to do it.

You must feel terrible at the end of a Coca-Cola tour. We were pretty high, so I enjoyed it. I've never gone on a tour. I know people who have gone on the Anheuser-Busch tour here, like through the brewery or whatever, and they say it's fun because apparently it's similar to that. Obviously not like rutabaga beer, but apparently you can just get pretty fucking shit-faced throughout it.

They own like a million microbreweries too. Have you ever gone to like a wine tasting like like at a winery but i've never done this when i was a child pepsi had class field trips to the pepsi bottle kind of thing and they had tours and i realized now it was just like pepsi salesmanship and indoctrination. They would shit on Coca-Cola, you know, those other guys, that inferior brand who keeps losing the taste tests. And like during the cola wars of the 80s, they were taking school children into the different and just getting them to line up with one side or the other.

You didn't even know you were being propagandized to. It still sits in a little bit. I'm a little bit pro-Pepsi because of that thing I did 40 years ago no it's all about coke cola i i went to a winery i went to a winery and uh it was a little snooty everybody there was a little bit snooty but uh it was like all the free wine you could drink essentially and like little it was like multiple you paid like there was like a tiered thing you could pay it's like all right for twenty dollars you get to try three different wines and it was like for fifty dollars it's five different wines and i was like what do we get for 120 you're gonna taste every wine that we make as much as you'd like and i was

like i'll take two yeah and and we're just in there like we don't know anything about wine really but we're drinking all you can drink what are you gonna do with twice as much as you can drink well there's two of us i know so like we just got shit faced and then we bought a few bottles of like our favorites we there were these red dessert wines that were just really sweet and delicious. And, uh, so we just got shit faced, grabbed a couple bottles, went,

walked through the winery, stumbling around, uh, had some fun out there in the winery, uh, like in the fields, in the great fields. Then,

drove to a restaurant, had a huge fight. And, uh, it was a, it was a, it was an interesting day. It was highly,

highly recommended. I've never gone wine tasting before, but people don't actually spit it out. That never made sense to me. You just take little sips. So the people who spit it out are usually like wine judges. It's like if they're going to be judging wine for a competition, then they'll not only spit, but they'll cleanse their palate with,

uh, because like, uh, someone who's taste testing food, if they were to spit it out, you didn't get the full experience. Like swallow. Food doesn't intoxicate you.

Yeah. I think the deal is if you were to, but if you were to do like, you know, 13, 17, 20 wines that day, you might be impaired on the last one.

Yeah. I guess I don't know. They didn't, I did a wine tasting tour in France, which was pretty cool. I think it was in Nice. Oh, that's cool. Did you like it? Yeah, I did actually. And you wouldn't think so because I don't like alcohol.

But like Kyle said, you know, they'd be like, all right, this one's a little fruity and stuff. And it's like, you know what? I don't hate that one. And they're like, this one tastes of old cigar. And I'm like, why would anybody? I would love to see your score sheet at the end. Wait, there's a cigar in there.

Oh, who put this in here? It seems that you love our novelty juicy fruit wine. Everything else is in the sad face column. That's about right. It's like, you know, this one we call old sweat sock. And I'm like, why are you even? What is the point behind this wine? I've had wine before, like at friends' houses for dinner where like maybe, I don't know if Harley's a wine drinker or not.

I don't drink a lot of wine, but like I had a glass poured for me. And like it's a bottle of wine you and they all look the same and like i took a couple like i took one drink and it like i look at it and it's like bourbon barrel wine 24 percent alcohol and it's like this is awful yeah this is just just give me two shots of vodka and a soda at this point instead of this. This is a punishment. Like I remember, uh, I remember when white boy came and stayed with us, he, we were on a trip somewhere and we went to a Morton's and this is like right

after he had started making a little bit of money and you know, he grew up super poor. So like, I think this might've been the first time he'd ever been in anywhere as nice as a Morton's. And, uh, and,

and, uh, we were trying to make it as memorable and as fancy of the night as possible. So it was like, oh yeah, well, you know, he was asking for recommendations like, oh yeah, get this steak and get these sides and we'll have some oysters and some shrimp. And he's like, I want wine. I want like a nice glass of wine with my steak. And it's like, all right. All right. Red or white. He's like, I don't, I don't. He's like, red.

You want to get a red wine? One of these, one of these would be good. Like pick some like, you know, $22 a glass wine. And I just remember him getting into it. Oh, oh, oh. Can I get a Coca-Cola like Kyle? Coca-Cola is good with steak. Not being down with it at all.

And I remember thinking like, yeah, that's the first thing you learn when you get some money. Not everything that's expensive is worth it. Dude, you dropped 22 on a glass of wine. You got to muscle through it. I just did a show recently called Wine and Cheeseburger. It's on Facebook. But I did it with Thrillist. And it revolved around basically me eating foods, fast foods paired with a wine. And it was just this year. So I got to experience wine selected for specific meals like the Popeye's chicken, or like, you know, like the Big Mac, like wine paired with that. So I got to learn a bunch about wine through the sommelier. And I never like drinking during eating. Because like, I love food. And I just always found eating

food, like I love steak. And then if I drink wine drink wine or even like you know like my my favorite drink like an old-fashioned or something no matter how good that tastes I always drink it and I'm like this is different this is food time and drinking is drinking time and I get so full in a weird way when I drink wine with meals and it's just like it just I wasn't about it but on the show I realized if you pair the wine perfectly to what you're eating and it sounds so cliche but like it does bring flavors out shit tastes different like you could eat something like you could eat like like I we had like fried chicken I'm like I was like yeah fried chicken and then I had this wine and then I ate the fried chicken i was like oh i'm tasting like the spices now that like i know what they wanted the chicken to be but like maybe my palate just for whatever

whatever i ate it just wasn't there but like wine accentuates things and it could be used as a very valuable weapon to enhance your meals you know yeah but normally for the most part i'm just like i'm trying to eat my steak i don't want to drink some shit right now i don't like where they'll tell you like or i had someone who like a friend of mine who's into wine we had a nice steakhouse and he was like you know what you after like every bite or two take another sip of that red wine and then you're gonna taste more things and it's like i did that for one or two bites and then before you know it it's like the steak's gone and it's like oh i forgot to do the wine thing and so it's like i agree with you i when i'm i want to focus on munching and eating when i'm yes so so i don't know i can't relate to what harley just explained

but what i do like to do um or what i have done i like to get fucked up before i eat and usually that's weed like i would much rather be stoned as fuck before i eat a delicious meal and like have the munchies and like that empty feeling right where they're like the center bottom of your chest is like you feel like you're gonna go forever you could eat forever like like yeah like like just it feels like there's a bottomless pit in your stomach and you're like oh man i'm gonna eat so much good food. But if I have to drink alcohol, like when I was on state probation, I was allowed to drink alcohol. And it was like if I was going to eat some good Indian food, I would drink four or five shots of some really good liquor, whatever it was.

Some Tito's or I was drinking, what's that sugary ass shit I was drinking? That orange cognac grand gala grand gala was was when i was spending way too much money on grand marnier grand marnier is like 38 a bottle and grand gala is like 18 a bottle for the same like because like drinking yahtzee shakers some fucking grand gala i was i could i could put it the fuck away it's delicious orange cognac and actually grand gala isn was i could i could put it the fuck away it's delicious orange cognac and actually grand gala isn't technically cognac but that's neither here nor there but anyway compared to other alcohols compared i mean it's it's it's sugary orangey liquor you

know it's it's it's pretty tasty especially if you chase it like a coca-cola or even an orange fanta if you're really classy um so like getting real fucking shit no it's the opposite of that yeah fago oh yeah juggalos for life do you feel like if you're guzzling five shots real quick on an empty stomach before you even eat do you not feel just shitty no i feel drunk i feel like like a little like light-headed i i i get that, almost the same feeling of the munchies from weed. And I'm just impaired. And everything tastes better. And spicy food is just like a full head rush of like capsaicin.

It's fucking burnt. I can feel it everywhere. That's a good example of spicy food. This is like beer, not wine. But a friend of mine is like really into those IPA designer beers and everything. And like on a lot of them, it'll say on the side, like pair with beef, pair with this, pair with that. And like this one was like pair with spicy.

And we were having like some pretty hot chicken wings. And he's like, just like, just have one of my beers. Like, you'll like it. Like, just try it. Like, take little drinks after you have the wings. And it really did work. There's something about how, because it was like a fucking 9% beer,

so it wasn't something to guzzle, but that bitterness of the IPA really did play well with the spices. Yeah, I like to do the get drunk and then eat the spiciest Indian food that I'd ever had in my life. They would ask me how spicy, and I'm like, all the way. drunk and then eat the spiciest indian food that i'd ever had in my life like i would they'd be like they would ask me how spicy and i'm like all the way like like whatever like like they don't do

like indian spicy or white people spicy you know like like the thai people will but i'm just like hot hot extra hot like vindaloo hot lately and i would get chicken uh lamb vindaloo as hot as they would make it and i would have to i would drink like Vindaloo as hot as they would make it. And I would have to, I would drink like three, four glasses of ice water while I was eating the meal and have to get up and blow my nose and wipe my eyes multiple times. It was so spicy. I love spicy food. Indian food and Thai food are my two favorite,

like, I don't know, two of my favorite dishes, like, like, like Penang curry, Penang curry and a chicken vindaloo and tikka masala, extra, extra hot, like tikka masala is supposed to be this mild dish.

Cause it's what, it's like the bastardization of Indian, of Indian food by the British, right? They're colonial underservants. They like brought it back home and made it bland as fuck and added tomato sauce and cream and like, oh yeah, we can eat this no no i want i want you to take tikka masala and make it hot as fuck and uh and i would eat that and just just cry love food yeah i slept on that for a big part of my life and i gotta ask a question uh i'm about to download total warhammer 2 because you guys said you're playing this is like it's full price game i should still get it though right like it's full on 59.99 you're gonna want the expansions too they said that

that's what the i just have to say this one review by the way real quick at the top it's this guy uh uh it says loboto mocktopus whatever 1400 1335 hours review pretty fun all right so you get it uh we'll play with you it's a fun yeah i mean i have to anytime so i'm pretty fucking good at it um i have let me see how many hours i've got um i have oh only 500 okay so i got 500 hours at it in the real hours and it's a really fucking fun game. It is however, the most expensive game that I own because they lock some of the class, some of the, the factions behind other games.

So you got to buy total war one and you'll never play total war one, but you need that so that you unlock some shit in total war two. And then there's like 10 DLCs for, for total war two. Most of them are free now, but they're like 12 to 15 as they're released the the reason i would say that it's a good idea still to buy total war 2 is because total war 3 is coming out in the fall and i'm sure that you'll need total war 1 and 2 to get everything unlocked for total war 3 when it comes out. Does it sound so fucking dumb? I just went to go get it.

It's like, you already have this game. I have 100 minutes in it. I don't know. I must have bought it stoned and touched it exactly. The most steam thing ever. It's in my library. Okay, well, that's good. So should I get

Warhammer 1 to get everything you don't have to if it like like but i would i did i have everything i've bought every ounce of dlc for this game i've probably got 250 in it or something at this point but i played a bunch and i like to be kind of competitive at it like i'm interested in like getting into some of the uh the ladder matches on youtube so it's a terrible game for streaming on Twitch. Taylor streamed it the other night with me, uh, just us playing against each other.

And he was the number one streamer on Twitch for the game, like instantly on YouTube though. There's a huge community of people who stream it on YouTube. And there's like a dozen guys who have like medium sized YouTube channels and they all like pool their subscribers and they have these like weekly and bi-weekly tournaments and they have like qualifier tournaments that last months where like like the 15 or 20 best players in the world all are in the or in the like English-speaking world will all play to qualify for one slot in an ultimate tournament

they're doing that right now and they'll fill 20 spots of that which where it's like champions of champions will eventually play in a big tournament there's cash prizes usually you know the youtubers patreons will like pay the cash prizes and it'll be like a few hundred dollars nothing crazy but like the the competitive nature of the play is ridiculous the people who who play this game there, there's a lot of like moderately sized YouTubers who do this and it's really entertaining. I watch a ton of it. Yeah.

That was very good. He knows exactly. I can install it right now. Um, that's Joe. And then I'll, so I can just install them and maybe mess around with the single player for a minute.

Yeah. Try it out. Single player, uh, single player won't help you in multiplayer because multiplayer is just you purchase the units, you line up on the field, and then you fight. And the single player, which I've done, it's a single player campaign.

I had a lot of fun with it. Start off on easy difficulty because that's more like Civ where you're starting out and it'll be like, oh, you're going to play the dwarves. Okay, well, your first mission is you have to eliminate all of the orc civilizations that are in the crags of the rocks

and they're going to fight back. And oh, while you were doing that that you need to manage your resources and do this and that and oh your population's out of control so that's more civ like what me and kyle did and what i'm doing now more is just the you know 10 minutes a game you just fucking lay everybody out there i went i think uh kyle went six and one against me on the stream, but I did get a victory. I got one victory. How did you pull that off? I don't know.

Did you exploit a mistake of his, or did you adapt and evolve? What did I do? How did I win my match? I was playing the Tomb Kings on that one. That was the map with the big hill in the middle. I was just kind of... I wouldn't say... I was just being silly. I didn't bring a good army on purpose

because it was not fun if I was just winning a lot. He did the smart thing. So I started being like... By letting you win one, you enjoyed the game. Right after I won, you went full-ass try-hard mode

with the Skaven and beat me. Pushed my shit in. Well, I had a proof of point. I know. And everybody was... I was toying the whole time there were people in chat like jesus he's try hard in the hell out of taylor just like i was trying to keep my guys together i'm just three minutes in my forces are splayed out among the entire battlefield there's no you guys use that you guys that use that term sweat call someone a sweat yep i've never done that i'm pretty sweaty

on total war um it's new lingo and i thought it was pretty good like when someone's like like basically he beat you with sweat or he was being a sweat that round just like yeah sweating me then yeah i i may be guilty of that um it's one of those games where you can be like there are like certain like ways to like you you can make your army like a meme. Like there are like general, there's like five different generals you can pick. And some of them like people know, Oh, that's, that's like a meme. That's like a, if they, if you bring that, you're like, you're trying to prove a point like, like, Oh, you brought tic-tac-toe.

It's, it's like the worst general in the whole fucking game. He can't do shit. He's, he's so squishy. He has no powers. He's, Oh, he's winning with tic-tac-toe. It's, it's kind of like a flex to even like, like I in the whole fucking game. He can't do shit. He's so squishy. He has no powers. Oh, he's winning with tic-tac-toe. It's kind of like a flex to even – I see there's a tournament player who will bring the worst shit sometimes just to flex on people, and it's really fun to watch.

I had a pretty good turnout. I did a meme army against you in our second game where I brought nothing but suicide bombers. That was hilarious. Yeah. It worked out pretty well because i there's there's just a zombie called bloated corpse and all he does is waddle towards a group of people and explode and he'll kill like 30 people out of a 40 unit and like all i did was bring like 30 of those guys

waddling and kyle's like oh what do i i guess what do i do practical retreat and then just try and block them with the week i don't know what to do i've never seen that before because it's like there's actual rules that you normally play by like you can't do something like that but gives a fuck because we're just goofing around so i've never seen that before i i was like i i've never seen one bloated corpse much much less 15 i don't even know what to do yeah in the first game the one bloated corpse did a great job because you didn't know what it was i didn't know what it was never seen one before no one brings them because they're because like normally people will like just shoot them with like a like arrows or bullets and they'll just pop but if you

can ever get this thing to waddle close enough to like a unit that costs 10 times as much it just decimates them because it's like a suicide bomber like you said it's ridiculous yeah i'm gonna jump more into this game this game and the new zombies map those are gonna be my jam for a while i think for sure me too yeah i'm midi's messing with me right now. Wanting to play. Oh, that Middy Smitty. He says the map's great. Good. Have him figure out everything for us.

Oh, dude. There's like a whole collection of YouTubers and I'm sure they're streaming the game right now trying to like... They've probably already figured out every Easter egg for the fucking thing and all the steps and they're uploading their tutorial right now. Good. Thank God for those people.

Yes, they're doing what I absolutely would never do. You used to do that. Wasn't there a run where I felt like Syndicate was the top guy, but you weren't out of the running, and you were both doing that? He was always way better at zombies than me. Syndicate was the top guy, but you weren't out of the running. And you were both like doing. He was always way better at zombies than me. Like his videos would be like, oh, I figured out this new thing. You shoot this over here on Ascension or whatever. And then you come over here, shoot the lit post.

And then ammo pops out. And I'd be like, all right, this is Ascension. I was behind a fat person at Chipotle today. And I'd be like, all right, this is Ascension. I was behind a fat person at Chipotle today. And you were like doing Easter eggs and such too. You were like in a race to figure things out. Yeah, when Shangri-La came out, I was like,

I am going to make as many fucking videos today as possible where I'd be like, hey, I figured out where the special weapon is. Here it is. And like there wasn't like that 10-minute limit thing. So I just made like seven three- minute videos that day showing basic stuff. And did you ever get your channel partnered? Yeah. Yeah. I was in the second wave of machinima.

Cause like, I believe it or not, like at the time, like I think at the time I got partnered, I had like 30 K subs, which was pretty big. I remember Dr. Disrespect at the time I would go to his channel and he had like 14k subs and i watched his like silly video of him with attack dogs i think it was called i bet if you still go to his channel and go to uploads oldest to newest you'll find that attack dog video and i was watching it like him doing the cut scenes and the character and And even 10 years ago being like, this guy is putting so much effort into this. And he's getting nowhere. He's getting nowhere.

He was a terrible YouTuber. And he's one of the best streamers ever. Yeah. It's funny how on YouTube, there wasn't really a market for what he brought. No, it was because he was bad at the game. He was bad. People didn't know.

He was so bad at Modern Warfare 2. He was a joke. That's why people on YouTube. The bleeding scar age. And he'd go like 50-50 in a free-for-all or something. And we're all looking at that like, he's not as happy. People on YouTube have a different, like it's different. Like on YouTube, you look at something and you look at the

viewership to determine if it is almost like it has that whereas twitch that doesn't exist like twitch you put it on and you watch and if you go to doc and you're there for like five minutes like even when i first started coming across him it was on twitch i never even saw him on youtube and very quickly you're like who is this guy this is jokes and doc tends to be good at games also and like you know but like youtube like i could see how like in youtube people would be like this is a guy in a wig and it doesn't even have a lot of views but people didn't let that like they let that affect them and i know that because i saw like great creators when i would

go to vidcon people that i thought were awesome that had low viewership and like people didn't care yeah but like they didn't grasp the importance of this person because they were looking at like a popularity contest and i think doc suffered because of that popularity contest mentality. But then on Twitch. Yeah, I see it a little differently. Maybe I have my own standards for this, but I like to connect to YouTubers. Every YouTuber eventually turns into, I like Taylor. I wonder what Taylor's doing today. Oh, he put up a vlog.

Let's check it out. That's what happens all the time. And with Doc, you don't get to know Doc. Doc is a character. He's a it out. That's what happens all the time. And with Doc, you don't get to know Doc. Doc is a character. He's a fiction thing. And because of that, maybe that doesn't work on YouTube, whereas on Twitch. I think that's an excellent point, Works. I think that's a great point.

YouTube people wanted to go see their favorite YouTubers being like, i'm gay now and making out with someone and they got to be part of that whereas i guess maybe that's lacking on with kyle would you agree that a fake character on youtube i did not even i thought i was like what's the problem is that doc's character isn't very likable or interesting even fps russia i wanted to know what he was doing next like even if he's fiction but they somehow i never questioned doc people you knew doc was fake you didn't know not everyone knew fps russia wasn't the guy not everyone everyone knew that. That's the truth. They still don't know. It still blows my mind.

See, the thing is, because we're plugged in or whatever, and a lot of the people who listen to this, they're plugged in, obviously, because they're looking at me right now. They all think that everyone knows. If I go back and upload on that channel, 80% of them don't know because they don't do any research. They've never Googled my name. They've never searched.

Dimitri's back. Yeah. They have no idea because they watch YouTube videos occasionally. Some of them were only subscribed to me. They're not part of the YouTube community or the mythos of it. Or like, they don't know any other YouTubers. They don't know what VidCon is.

They don't know what call of duty commentary is. They just like to watch me blow shit up. So like, like a lot of them are like 45 and 50 year old dudes on Facebook, like half of them are. So like those people still don't know. And some of them will never know. So the, they're like, oh yeah, I knew all along. All right. Maybe you did. Maybe you didn't. Well, everyone knows now. No, the vast majority have no idea yeah people still subscribe to you every day thinking you're a russian guy absolutely people unsubscribe people unsubscribe from me every day thinking you're a russian guy oh that's fucking funny but yeah bro trust me it's a good thing

I've passed 7 million subscribers like 12 times how many people can say that it's hilarious is that a wrap? can we call it a show? Harley tell everyone where they can

go see all of the things that are you. Epic Mealtime's back, you fat bitch. Seriously, go watch it. Seriously, youtube.com slash epicmealtime. Uploads every week. You know, nothing else really matters. Except your health. You're disgusting.

You're fat. I'm fat too. Come watch me. I feel personally attacked. Me too. PK, 529. Yeah.