Painkiller Already - PKA 534 w BlameTruth Young Kyle Pictures, Shirtless Woody, Shopping Cart Protocol

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

painkiller already with our guest blame truth 534 taylor this episode of pk is brought to you by postmates and smart mouth two sponsors who have been around for quite a while we'll talk more about them later blame truth how are you you're wearing the hat of my favorite horror movie of all time top five favorite movie all time i'd say if you can count all the war in the rings as one well i do yeah i do yeah you do yeah yeah what's new with you I was popping around today after Chiz says we were going to be talking to you and you're still riding YouTube I figured you'd be doing

Twitch again but just still going so great ripping on COD they ban my favorite words on Twitch and they keep doing weird shit do your favorite words rhyme with hag and bigger and No, no, no, no, no.

Those have been banned for a very long time. What? Oh, simp and I don't know. Cuck. Oh, okay. Cuck is gone? I heard about simp but not cuck. I could be wrong. I'm not sure.

It still says cuck. I could be wrong. I'm not sure. It says Cuck. Incel and Virgin. Virgin is outrageous. And retards on the... Oh, Taylor, this is going to have a major impact on your channel. Well, this is outrageous. It's on the chopping block. Now they're coming for me.

When they banned Simp, you said nothing. When they banned Sip, you said nothing. When they banned Virgin, you said nothing. And then they came for Retard. And there were no Sips and Virgins to defend you. There were no more Virgins left to help. You have to stand somewhere.

When Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima are long gone and Dr. Seuss is evil you gotta know they're coming for Harry Potter any second now they're coming for my beloved things and it won't be long before Lord of the Rings isn't PC there'll be something about that

there's magic that's sort of sacrilege maybe no they'll never go that direction that's the There's magic. That's sort of sacrilege, maybe. No, they'll never go that direction. See, that's the right... That's the thing the right would do. And they did back in the day. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it would have to be the left.

It was more the... Yeah, the right, that was like Marilyn Manson. That's what I think of. Maybe the left would... He's going to cause people to cast curses and be devil people. I'm making a prediction. It won't come true for 15 years,

but they are going to take issue with the dwarf throwing in Lord of the Rings. The dwarf tossing. The dwarf tossing in Lord of the Rings is not PC. That is going to age poorly. You know, that's not fair because as soon as it wasn't mocking Gimli, as soon as Gimli is tossed, he starts wrecking shit. You know,

you know, it's like, all he needs to do is span the gap and then he can stand against those Uruk-hai by himself for a while. You know, Aragorn can grab a cup of tea and a scone on the way over there and Gimli is going to be fine. So I'm sticking with my prediction. Fuck out of a dwarf.

You think Aragorn could? No, you, you could. Yeah. You were put on this middle Earth to toss dwarves. I would be honored to throw Jonathan Rhys-Davies across you. You cannot toss Jonathan Rhys-Davies.

I would be honored to throw a dwarf who looks like Jonathan Rhys-Davies from the back. You would be farmers carrying Jonathan Rhys-Davies or whatever. I don't know. I don't think you could squat davies he's a big what's he wearing he's a big man he's like six four very heavy six four he's the big early entire of the entire cast like they'll get photos together and you're like who the hell is jesus can you say his name slower uh john davies i think john davies will get it.

D-A-V-I-E-S. Because to get someone who looks like a dwarf proportionally, you need a guy who's tall and broad and huge so that when you shorten him, it's like, good God, Aragorn's a big guy. And look at Gimli's shoulders next to Aragorn. Yeah. I didn't realize how old he was.

He's 76 now. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's been around for a long time. He was on one of my favorite like fox tv shows like when i was growing up fox had a bunch of sci-fi shows like dark angel and a few others and one of them i really liked was sliders where these they were going like they had that they basically had a portal gun but they they didn't know the coordinates to where they came from so they had to jump from earth to earth it was kind of like rick and morty in that way with the portal gun at least but they

were always ending up in these alternate timelines of Earth but luckily for them they never ended up in the timeline that didn't have fucking oxygen where the rotation of the Earth had moved a little so they're just in space not on the planet John Rhys Davies is 6'1 and my money is that Taylor can farmers carry

that guy for 100 yards Dude that means 300 pounds if he's a fucking ounce It means 300 pounds if he's a fucking ounce. He's 300 pounds if he's an ounce. How much do you have in each hand, Taylor, when you do farmer's carry? It's your heaviest. It's your max.

I've never maxed it. Before I got my basement all fucked up and I took the plates off it, I think I had 130 per hand on it. It's 260. He's doing 260 for reps, Kyle. He could one rep max Reese Davies.

What was that? Do you think it's more beneficial to like, obviously you're going to failure regardless. Do you think it's more beneficial to like do the 130 per hand for like, I don't know how long you do it. 45 seconds or a minute at a time or to do like 75 for like two minutes at a time. What do you think? I have no idea. I really don't know how long you do it. 45 seconds or a minute at a time or to do like 75 for like two minutes at a time. What do you think? I have no idea.

I really don't know. But like usually like you can't do five of those until failure or the like last two. You're going to be picking it up and just not doing much. So it's usually it's like the first three. I just like do my one, two, three, four walk back. And then the last two are like, all right, go as far as as you can. I listen to these science-based youtubers who tackle that question a lot and the answer i see often is they're both

equally good but people have a harder time reaching true failure with more reps or in this case time that it's a little easier to give up it's like they actually have a few in the tank whereas if it's heavy they can literally go till failure failure are you still lifting really regularly blame truth i know that's been a huge hobby of yours the past couple years yeah i have or i am but uh i've switched most of my i guess like cardio and um just exercise routine to boxing i got a fucking heavy bag in the you're gonna say fucking and i was gonna be like yes my favorite cardio i practice safe you know safe cardio i'm more of a sprinter 90 seconds minute 20 it's even killing it on cardio recently cardio

she hates it it's not about you. Why is everything about you? Look, I can come in a minute and a half. If you can't, then you're just not as good. That reminds me. The couch is gone. It's been destroyed. It's in a dump somewhere. Covered in fluid.

So you've been doing boxing? I'm curious about that do you have sparring partners or are you doing like uh there's the heavy bag and speed bag and i do the uh there's a a free boss rooting workout uh like boxing workout uh thing that i do quite a bit uh he just calls out combinations you do them it's like uh 10 two minute rounds one minute rests so it's a good workout yeah uh it it's good for uh like actual what's it called uh twitch muscle fibers which even though i'm smaller i'm not that fast so i figured you know what this will help with like you know hand speed just leg speed all kinds of shit like that so yeah i'm super slow i don't know if there's any hope i

could ever like get fast at knocking on 50. Now is the, you know what boys we're about to get fast. You are so far from the shore. And like, I've always, I always hear people say the best cardio is the cardio you fucking do. Because like, like, like everyone's like, Oh no, hit cardio oh no uh slow the well steady state it's like yeah the one you're gonna do so like if like hitting a heavy bag like two minutes on one minute off for like a total of you know 30 or 45 minutes is something you'll actually do that seems like the way to fucking

go dude if we're talking about walking 45 minutes versus thinking about an air dine, I'll take the walking. You know, like at least you actually fucking got out there and moved. Yeah. And sometimes when you build like big workout plans for yourself, you get so high on your own farts of planning that you're like you already got like some satisfaction out of it. You're like, oh, I'm going to go so hard in the gym tomorrow. I'm going to do an extra workout of this and that. And it's like nah i'm not gonna do that i've been like instead of saying i'm gonna do five percent more it's like next week i'm gonna do 50 more and it's gonna be a crazy week and we're a paradigm shift of working and it's like of course not like that

you know set your sights lower i yeah i haven't missed a workout i haven't missed a set since like december of last year and now i'm like planning on missing it i'm like you know what end of this month we're going to florida we're gonna miss three days that bicep's gonna heal that knee is gonna stop hurting like we're gonna we're gonna get back on to 100 i hope they they say that they they say that uh if you take about a week or two off every three months or so work with working out it actually uh helps in the long run or something to that effect paraphrasing load yeah like a deload week or whatever where you just don't really do anything like you if you do something it's super light you know um just to heal recuperate like your uh your joints

and whatnot you know but i don't know i've been deloading for three five years now i said take it back up it's just so supercharged i got into this habit of sending shirtless pictures to kyle and taylor and as soon as they told me their phones are filled with like naked old men i'm like that just encouraged me to send more and more. I'm in the kitchen and I'm trying to pull up a recipe that I screenshotted and there's Woody fucking shirtless and he's doing this thing

where he's got one thumb in his waistband and his four fingers are clearly on his cock. I'm looking for my recipe. I'm like, delete, delete, delete, delete. Oh, I'll send that one again. I pull it out of the bank so I can scan it

to make a deposit or something. And there's Woody, fucking sweaty and shirtless. He's making his mean face because he's flexing, so he's just like, I'm horrible at posing. And then he'll be like, hey, here's a photo of my hamstring and rear leg while I'm in at posing. And then you'll be like, hey, here's a photo of my hamstring and rear leg while I'm in a towel.

Like, you are borderline naked. It's just a photo. It abuses me a lot. Because whenever you send it via WhatsApp, it goes into their photo library. And once I figured that out, I got super encouraged to send them pictures of me without clothes and uh but then i got a bug bite by my belly button and i had to take a week off but it's gone now you guys thank god i thought you just decided to stop you know it was more startling where it's like uh like you're you get more and more emboldened on the amount of clothes you need to wear like initially you're like i don't feel like i'm in

no shirt mode and then like a week later no shirt mode but jeans then we go to shorts now we're on a towel and now the towel is ascending. I really do a towel shot. I think you might be off on that. Kyle, he sent a towel shot, didn't he? I was okay with a towel shot. It was that thong. It was the thong. I don't even think it was his thong.

It wasn't a man's thong. And it did not have enough coverage. It was definitely a man's thong. A woman wouldn't have anything to fill the elephant trunk with. Jesus Christ. I just hated the commentary of it where it's like, this is my first time, don't be mean

teehee. I hated that. We ventured into a third where 10% of this isn't true getting getting half naked like if you're working out and you're in shape getting half naked and taking pictures even if you don't fucking share them it's like half the fun you know like i don't know just walking around naked like one day i just wore an apron you know and i was like man you know what i'm naked under this apron i'll take some pictures i look good so i did it did you send it to any ladies no i just put it on uh i think instagram you know send it to kyle and taylor it's fun okay yeah we'll put

you on our what i'll follow you on. That way I don't have to... They don't auto-save to my library. That's the funnest part. Most fun. Yeah. Woody, you should open an Instagram. And it's all... Yes.

It's like Gakko Willink stuff, except it's like 11.57 a.m. And it's like, let's get to work. I'm like, of course, I've been asleep for three hours and I was like, the fuck? I'm going to mute this at night. God damn it.

Drinking your green juice. Yeah, when I go into the library on my phone, it's like fucking, it's poker information, poker information and then there's it's poker information poker information and then there's woody's half naked poker information woody half naked and i'm just like i gotta i gotta go through here because too much poker shit in here there's way too much poker shit woody needs his own category there's a thing because my paramotor friends one of them is like a bit of a gym hound or whatever and and i don't know somehow

it came they started asking for dick root and and i don't know if they got that because we mentioned it on the show do they watch pka it's a common thing is this a joke but like what brought it in like it's a cop i i don't know the fact that they were asking for dick root pictures made me think that perhaps they saw us talking about dick root pictures recently or not i don't know but uh that is why i had my thumb pulling down my shorts to uh did you know well i didn't request dick root you got the bonus plan you're just you're just lucky and they come at great times i'll be like hey kyle who are you running for infantry in the skaven builds uh-huh and what he's, check out my dick room. No, it's motivating. Your abs are coming in very quickly.

Very, very quickly. What's your body fat percentage? Do you know? I don't know it. What are you guys? Mine's high. Yours is low. He's about 15.

Okay. Maybe like heading. At the most, it's the high 15s and at best it's mid 14s it's really good something like that it's good that's tremendous what is what is like the the desirable one like what's the peak health range 12 i think is like i was gonna say 12 too i mean peak sexy is a little lower but peak health is what he asked. Yeah, I think peak sexy might be 10, but at 10, your body is literally like eating itself continuously.

Your body doesn't like that. Did you guys ever see Baywatch with The Rock, Zac Efron? Yeah. Zac Efron said his diet was essentially just like, what was it, like fucking blended chicken like he would just blend fucking cooked chicken and drink it because it was easier than eating that much chicken and like I think he was like

5-6% body fat in that movie he was really unhealthy I know the pictures of him from that he's shredded that is disgusting that he blended chicken there's no way that's preferable i don't think just five but he was definitely right around like eight nine ten it was super low like crazy vascular like five's more bodybuilder yeah this was i mean it was still five is scary five how

low can you get before you die he looks really good uh uh when you're getting below five you're causing all sorts of liver and kidney stressors. You can't maintain that year round. That's a peak for this show kind of thing. And then next week, we've got to refeed and get our blood work back in working order. But a lot of people just stay at 10. Greg just stays at fucking 10% body fat. I think Greg claims lower than that.

I think he claims eight. I mean, I wouldn't discount anything Greg says. I don't think he'd lie about himself. He doesn't tend to lie. No. He's doing those... What is it? Swick? It's not Swick. Swift. No, Zwift. It's like Swift

with a Z. The bike thing? He does those crazy... You know he's off TRt right yeah yeah it's really interesting so is he losing mass like um he's lost a little bit um but but not not to the eye like like uh so he's um to heal up uh his his tricep he's got this calcium build up on his tricep tendon and the doctor said going off cold turkey off trt um would allow his body to reabsorb that calcium uh because like even surgery isn't the answer how does that happen like what um overuse the product of performance enhancing like abuse and like extremely heavy

workouts for his entire life do you remember that what he has, Kyle? It's, it sounds similar to tendonitis, like tendinosis. It's a, it's a, it's a mouthful. Um, essentially it's, it's, um, the, the tendons, uh, that connect his tricep to his elbow are not this nice uniform. Like if you were to cut a cable in half, you know how all the threads inside the cable are in just perfectly segmented together symmetrically. His are like a jumble. It's, it's more like they're all tangled up and weird and there's calcium buildup

and it's, it was causing him a lot of pain. So he's just like completely dropped the TRT. He's went from his 140 milligram a week dose, which is super light. It's like, like, like,

but he's abused steroids in the past, you know, like know like yeah it might be tendinopathy does that sound familiar that sounds familiar um but yeah he's um he said he feels like absolute shit because right now his you know his levels just drop you know what's interesting i feel like his um his brain's firing on seven cylinders instead of eight sometimes and he struggles to do the commentary and they show it in the outtakes and he's like i just can't get it and i'm like oh and i think he attributes that to the t levels crashing and cloudiness yeah oh did you guys hear

about drifter at his t levels yeah he was on the show and we talked about it and i was like like i watch enough like uh like like uh derrick more plates more dates and and like stuff like that to know that like clomid for trt is like not a common thing it doesn't make any sense um and then there's no danger to it also are you up to date on the very recent update uh i saw it i saw the thumbnail that said that Drifter almost dies after stopping Clomid. A lot of health problems, yeah. Drifter's very COVID sensitive, right? He's worried about it.

And this doctor is like, why don't you come into the office? He's like, dude, this is a bunch of boomers with no masks. I don't want to do that. He's like, well, okay, over the phone, I just recommend you cut the clomid cold turkey you know no post-cycle therapy nothing just cut it and see how that works for you and um there he just it went bad for him in a half dozen different ways you know his mood was terrible i'm trying to remember some of the like he was nauseous he had like blood sugar regulation issues if i recall correctly and he had to eat but eating made him nauseous so it was this battle to like eat even though he didn't want

to and it was just terrible terrible and he got back on the clomid and he feels better now but i don't know why he's doing the why did he get hypothermia yeah hypothermia yeah rapidly weakening joints frack that fractured instead of using fucking something that's what is clomid for again clomid for again it's a it's used for post-cycle therapy for one thing to like like like kickstart the body's natural t but i think originally i may have read it had something to do with like uh breast cancer or something like that it's um primary purpose is for helping women get pregnant. And yeah, but it can also be an indirect way for a guy to kickstart his testosterone production.

After he's like stamped it down by using exogenous hormones. You know, if you're injecting testosterone, your body says, oh, well, you don't need the balls to make it anymore. You seem to be getting it from somewhere else and then when you cut the t then all of a sudden you're like your body doesn't go oh shit no t let's get the balls in order the body's like what happened i don't feel so good so kyle's right but in the case of drifter he just kicked starting it because his body wasn't working he didn't he wasn't he never abused steroids to get in that position he just got unlucky well is he gonna switch up his like this seems like a pretty like getting hypoglycemic what do you say a severe hypoglycemia so shattering or fractured joints like he's going back on the same drug he's not gonna try something new so the problem was stopping the drug and at the end of the video he got back on the clomid and now he feels much better but he knows like how bad it is to get off now like i how how scary that would be that all right

uh i got my degree by watching er in chicago hope but if i was his doctor i would put him on trt and say bro much like a diabetic or someone who's had a lung transfer, you are on a lifetime medicine now. You're going to take TRT and your T levels will just be where they're supposed to be until the day you die. This is your new life. And that's where I would put him. Yeah, I feel like he's talking to that doctor like, hey, this sort of withdrawal or whatever this was, we're not doing this again. That's not okay. But find me something better.

He said he felt like he was held hostage because he has to, I think he said he has to take this for the rest of his life to get regulated. I don't feel held hostage by that. I take an antacid every day. I don't feel held hostage by Prilosec. Captain has you by the short hairs, you bitch.

I don't feel it. I'm like, yeah yeah no heartburn for me i can i can eat i can put tabasco on my food if i want like yeah i don't get it like if your body's not making testosterone then why go in this roundabout way with with with clomid why not just use a bioidentical hormone and give your body exactly what it wants which is testosterone i don't know enough about any of this to say, but that does sound similar. It sounds similar. These are some really serious

side effects. Yeah. I don't know. It's his body. He can do whatever he wants to. I think he just likes the idea that his tea comes from his balls, even if they need to get kick-started. He likes that that's the process from which it derives. Wings was on... is he on trt i

heard he was yeah yeah he's on like this terrible regimen where he's injecting like 200 milligrams every like 10 or 14 days or something crazy like that so what's wrong with that well like testosterone has like a half-life right so it's like i mean it this isn't a great comparison but let's say that you were you compared to testosterone testosterone to like calories that you need to like survive you're like oh yeah I'll just eat a turkey on Monday and then I'll wait a week and eat another turkey the following Monday well by by like the weekend after you ate that turkey on Monday you're literally starving and your body's falling apart and like like you're way below you don't have any calories in your body you're running on fumes you're you're you're

eating your body alive whereas like if you ate like a turkey leg every day like maybe that makes a little more sense testosterone is the same fucking thing it's got a half-life of like eight days or something like that and if he's doing it every 14 days, then 200 milligrams today is, is going to skyrocket his levels to this absurdly high level, probably like 1500 total serum. And then by the end, you know, by eight days later, it's like half that, which is fine. You know, okay, now you're high normal. But then 14 days after that, oh, now you've dipped way below normal again. And that fluctuation isn't exactly helpful either. high normal but then 14 days after that oh now you've dipped way below normal again and that

fluctuation isn't exactly help helpful either yeah it probably fucks with your mood and all sorts of your estrogen regulation the estrogen isn't like estrogen needs to be at a specific ratio for a man like a testosterone to estrogen ratio having high estrogen isn't bad as long as you have high t to correspond to it it and you can't keep that ratio perfect if your testosterone is going up and then spiking down, like the estrogen doesn't correspond exactly right. So you get all these weird estrogen levels, lots of fluctuation there.

It's not a healthy practice and it's not what like TRT clinics prescribed. Well then why would his doctor have given it to him? Because he went to a doctor in an office near him. He went to like an endocrininologist there in Myrtle Beach. I'm guessing. I don't follow him. Has he said that he likes it? Or made any comments about it?

He just bragged about how he was like, when I worked at Lab Tech, I was certified to give these injections. And it's like, there's no such thing as an injection certificate. Maybe they gave you a fucking blue ribbon one day of these injections and it's like there's no such thing as like an injection certificate maybe they gave you like a fucking blue ribbon one day because you like they showed you like which end of a syringe goes where but like i do get the tip and the plunger mixed up sometimes so he's got me

yeah he almost made it sound like he was like an emt or something like like he had a degree or like he passed some kind of course. Maybe lab tech has the certification for staff. I would try to make a truth out of it. I don't know. Anything is possible. But yeah, he's putting that big fat syringe in his. And he's also putting his thigh, right? Which you can end up with like an embolism. You can end up with an infection there.

I know it's bad it's air the um and then like if he gets an infection there in his thigh they've got to cut that out yeah they have to use like a like a soil sample corer to get that out i wonder how ice cream scoop oh have you do you guys watch the uh troll channels at all like lean sean ranklin stuff like that i've seen them i haven't watched them in over six months not not really oh man i went down the rabbit hole i joined like the troll discord and shit they do all that stuff because i was just fascinated and uh there was a it's really bad there's a video where uh just recently and i recommend watching it um where uh his wife kelly is uh crying off camera over something but you don't know exactly what it is you can't make out what she's like she's you know she's being kind of quiet because he's

streaming and uh someone in the comments section deduced that it was something like it was a celebration of life, which is a fancy way of saying like a funeral kind of get-together thing. I've been to a few of them. It's like a barbecue celebration of life, like a happy funeral. And basically, he chose to stream instead of going to it, I think is the story. So she was pretty upset about that. I recommend watching that one. Wait, is this a rumor from the chat?

It's a rumor from the chat, but what they said made sense. What they deduced made sense. Yeah. You have to be cautious, though. I hear where Taylor's coming from. Often the chat just makes things up. They do. But this made sense because I recalled back to the camping trip that, like, last minute, you know, wings bailed on with you guys.

Yeah, yeah. I was like, this is something that someone with an anxiety kind of issue usually does. They'll ponder over it, stew over it, and last minute they're like, I can't do it. Fuck it. Oh, that's him. That's 100% him. He does this thing where he's a real worrier and super pessimistic about things. And especially if it's something he doesn't want to do. Taylor was talking about how the day before he's gonna like do a big workout he's like making all these elaborate plans

and like like aiming high and i think wings sometimes does the opposite he's like oh if i do this then all of these awful things can happen so then when he backs out it's like i mean it was a no-brainer i was gonna get a staph infection i was gonna drown in a river an eagle was gonna pluck my eye out. I was going to get hypoglycemic out there. This, that, the other. He literally said something that his odds of survival were like, I don't remember what he said.

It was a third or 50-50 or something like that. It was like 50-50 if he survived the weekend with us. That really reveals how little he thought you guys would help him in dire straits. You're like, alright, well I'm dying here. You two are like, see ya

idiot. And you just leave. It's like we're playing Oregon Trail. Wings got cholera. Well, shit. He died fording the river if wings was there my poor river crossing skills would have never been exposed we would have just gone somewhere else yeah and kyle would have never swallowed that turtle shit water oh that might still happen i don't know but that was so weird i remember when i like like like the worst part of that, like the nausea was awful, like

the continuous vomiting. But then when I finally got back to like Anderson, South Carolina, um, I, I was, I finally had like hunger again and I stopped at like a, a Jack in the box and got like a burger and fries. And I was like, Oh, this is going to be so good. And when I put the food in my mouth, my entire inside of my mouth broke out in hives, like these incredibly painful bumps all in my mouth. And I was like, there's something wrong with me. Like I literally had eaten a fry,

like, like, like I was holding the bag waiting on my change. And I was just like, like ate one fry and the entire inside of my mouth broke out and like painful red sores. I do this thing of self doubt, right? Where it's like, like, let's say I say I'm sick. And I'll be like, are you that sick? Are you sure you couldn't work today? Are you whatever? So Kyle was sick in this case. And I'm like, did we puss out? Should we have plowed through even though he vomited like multiple times?

He was sick. But I'm like, maybe he'd have got better in the rain. I don't know. But when the hive story came out, when the drive home getting refed went poorly, I'm like, that was just a good call. Yeah. If it hadn't been for the river swelling more and more,

potentially locking us off from escape, I'd have been more apt to stick in there until morning. But I was so worried that that river wasn't an easy crossing to begin with like i mean i guess it was easy ish it wasn't like even if you got swept away like what's the worst can happen eventually i make it to the other side i'm just fucking wet now lose your gear yeah fuck it you know a couple bucks here but but it was just like what if we're stuck here and like tomorrow i'm so dehydrated i can't keep water down and now i'm got diarrhea or something and i'm just like actually how embarrassing is it gonna be to chopper me out of this 36 hours into the trip the lifeline

i'm like i'm thinking like woody's gonna record it all too but at the time you were anonymous no one would have known who it was start the video by saying date 6 log don't say it's Kyle shitting himself and breaking out in the hives and Woody's just taking shirtless pictures

in the corner we arrived yesterday evening it's 9am and it's just taking shirtless pictures in the corner. Woody's like, we arrived yesterday evening. It's 9 a.m. and it's like 18 hours. That would have been really embarrassing if you had died. That was a big part of the decision making. We suck at it. Yeah, we are bad. We suck at it so bad. You know what?

Wade was right. He did have a 50-50 shot of making it a lot of money. Fair enough. All this time. Wade was right. He did have a 50-50 shot. I'm making it a lot of fun. No, fair enough. All this time. He was right. I was watching Survivorman on Twitch trying to learn how to survive last night. Oh, it's a good show. It's a great show.

I haven't seen it in like 10 plus years, and so I popped it on. And it was funny. One of them, it was in Mexico. It was like part one and two. And he finds some dead octopus, and he's like, I don't know how to cook this, but the tentacles are probably fine. And then he goes and he puts some clams in like some hot coals and they pop open all nice. And then he like goes to like what looks like the barnacles at like. Is this the Les Stroud one?

The Les Stroud one. Yeah. It's got all those hideous, ugly barnacles you see on like the bottom of a boat. And he's like, these are valuable. You may not think so, but you can really do something with these. And it's like day one. And he's got his shelter and everything. And he makes some of those and he eats them all.

And because he records himself and everything. And so the next morning he wakes up and he's like, you know, sometimes you just roll the dice and it doesn't go the way you want it's in it's 110 degrees in mexico and it's like usually it's like day three doing this day four i'm making my way from the coast to this interior area i gotta find more fresh water my distillation thing isn't whatever but for like days two through four he's just like and this is sometimes survival i don't know what to tell you you just drink as much water as you can and just try try and wait it out and it's like this sucks he has failed before i think like he has a call for extractions before right yeah i was

gonna call it a spot like he has some sort of life alert it's like a gps i want to say gps phone but satellite phone is what i'm going for yeah yeah andite phone, yeah. Yeah, and that's a great show. You can tell how much more real it is than Bear Grylls just by the stuff he does and by the stuff he doesn't do. Sorry, go ahead. No, no. I was just going to say, I feel like with

Man vs. Wild or whatever, the fucking camera crew is just finding him the grossest shit to do. You know, like, Bear Grylls like go eat that turd over there like that dead camel go fuck it like that sometimes fucking a camel is good for morale eat those you know they're just daring him to do stupid shit it's almost like jackass in a way like yeah like he'll intentionally do stuff like now you'd never want to take this route up the mountain but in case it was the only one available that's where i'm going like let's drought is like now this right here death trap don't be a fool make your way around slowly that's what you want

to do survival is all about measured risks you know don't overextend and stuff like that and bear grills is like bear grills is getting a snow leopard and using it as a sled on a icy mountain. It's just fucking going down. I think he literally did that. Yeah. Like, uh, nor like in Norway,

uh, less drought was surviving. And I guess he was in an area where like, there's a bunch of seasonal hunting cabins around where like the Norwegians will go up there and do some like elk hunting and then just leave it abandoned the rest of the year. And like, I'd never seen him steal resources before or break in to someone's abode or something.

But he gets to this abandoned shack and he's like, we're just going to go in. We're just trying it. So he just goes in, spends the night there. He finds apparently they took all the good meat from a kill. And there was just a bunch of frozen organs and head meat that that he found in a trash bag and he ate all that. And then he kept walking and he found a four bedroom, like three bathroom, like legit, like rich Norwegians house. And he's like, I would, you know, you guys know this is real because if this was not real, I would not be showing myself go into a nice house i can't believe i found this house like it's going to be great i'm going to sleep on their bed i'm borrowing

some of their resources sorry about that we'll help you out like like he just literally broke in and it was like how did he break in it was locked and he just broke into a house uh one of them he like rammed the door pretty hard and like got it like jarred open. And the other one just opened right up. The cheap cabbage just opened right up. The other one, he actually had to jimmy it. And it showed him just using that house's supplies to crack open food and eat stuff. And that's what you got to do. That'd be real.

Bear Grylls, he would have slept in that house and pretended he was sleeping in a tarp tent. He'd have had a hotel rented yeah probably like they did that they did that in hawaii did you know that yeah it's so absurd like come on and the way like all every with less drought every time he like leaves the camera and he's like walking away and then it always shows him coming back like exhausted but oh and we were talking about drifter being like this is what brought it up initially in my head talking about him being confused it was like day three of him being like sick and not having eaten he's like we're gonna try and make it we gotta make it to the base mountain there

i'm so sorry guys i haven't eaten in three days and I'm very sick. We're going to try and make it to the mountain area to get water. Let's just go. Let's go. He's not able to string it together. Meanwhile, Bear Grylls will be like, all right, six days, no food, no water. Let's see what's in store for us today. There's like crumbs on his jacket. There's a protein bar wrapper in his breast pocket

you can see a cliff bar wrapper just caught in the wind it's like Game of Thrones if you look closely at the Starbucks like on the rock he's just reaching into like a giant container of uts like looking around just covered in orange story with that i don't watch game of thrones what was the

story with that uh cup what was it yeah yeah so like in the final season and actually in like the final episodes there's like several shots where you go to the wide shot and it's like the council is judging john snow at the very end you know denarius and like all the main characters that have survived uh well denarius is dead uh all the main characters that have survived and like if you look closely like at the base of their chairs there's like starbucks because like you know obviously like you're chilling a lot between takes and there's there's a huge amount of down time and it makes sense like there's coffee on those sets all the time but like you move the fucking coffee cups out of the shot or you shoot around them you're like like it's one

or the other there's no instance in a professional like situation where you would have that cup like even when i made videos if there was something that shouldn't be in the shot it was like well that can't be there get that the fuck out of there. Like, dude, I can see your leg. You're not supposed to be here right now. You know? Yeah. And then it's right there. There's lots of shots like that.

That's very obvious, too. Super obvious. I don't know. It looks a little medieval to me. You don't see it. Come on. There's a plastic top. It's, you know, it's branded.

It's brown it's and all he had to do to fix that would be to like make medieval cups for everyone write their name like on the inside like on the inside so that only you can see it if you're looking down into the beverage like write the names on it like oh yeah danny and like put her fucking starbucks in there and when she's and oh yeah danny's having a bit of mead in the background and she can be one person who's not a fucking idiot to be like, hey, next to the. Perfect. They couldn't come up with some of those. If that was sitting there, we wouldn't even flinch.

We'll be like, oh, cool. He's drinking mead out of that. Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. Fuck that store. I was watching some like I've been watching a bunch of like Sopranos shit lately there's this guy that like I'm gonna stop watching

because he just makes shit videos he just like watches an episode of Sopranos then tells you what happened in the episode I don't know why I'm even still fucking watching I know you've seen Sopranos because you want to know what happens he's not even dissecting it he's not even like like now what you gotta pay attention to here is the undertones you know what what is he really

saying he's like no no he's just like yeah then you know they go to the dentist and the dentist seems like a nice guy and he's just like reiterating what happened in the episode but anyway like some guy was some guy was like talking about the ending of the sopranos and how he didn't like what butchie's character did how he likes the ending but he didn't like butchie's motivations wait butchie who's that again yeah can you remind us he's part of he's that short guy from new york who when tony goes in and he takes coco out when he punches him with the revolver in his hand for talking shit about meadow butchie is the guy who was sitting there eating his fucking pasta and he's like whoa whoa whoa that's butchie he's like phil leotardo's second in command and uh and he was saying like butchie's motivations make no sense

at the end like he's been so fucking loyal to phil this whole time and then right at the end he like turns on phil sides with tony like sells out new york even though tony's crew is like in shambles it doesn't make any sense and i was kind of on board with him and then he was like i also like the end of game of thrones i think it's just fine i'm just like turn this shit the fuck off plot recommendations not interested ever not interested ever he almost had me sold on something and then he said that yeah i got no no respect for your opinion no respect at all yeah well i mean objectively that's if he's a movie channel or show channel and he liked the end of game of thrones that's pretty silly this is butchie right do i have that's butchie yeah okay he's a he plays an irritable italian guy in a lot of things

he's got the look yeah he's also a little cross-eyed yeah a little cross-eyed he's got like you can tell he had bad acne as a kid real bad he's got that ray leota face yeah yeah man ray leota's got some rough po Woo! They tried so hard to make him handsome in everything he did, and then at some point they just gave up. Yeah. We don't have enough spackle to fix that, Ray. I'm sorry. Don't they fix that with lasers?

Not when it's that bad. He's crater-faced. You can do some things to alleviate it. It's weird. A lot of Hollywood actors that have really bad scarring and shit, they won't fucking do anything to it. Maybe. It's not a big market for ugly actors, but it's blind demand.

Whatever gets you hired. Yeah. Steve Buscemi, he's ugly, but he's a tremendous actor. Yes. Great in everything, or everything I've seen him in. And then there's like this guy. I'm going to like, hopefully I can get this to open correctly. Is this another Pac-Man guy?

There's a character actor that I was thinking of, and I'm just trying to open his image in its own tab so I can look at it. So this guy was in Braveheart. He was in Sons of Anarchy. I think he's Irish or Scottish. Oh, got that he's got a scar on his face and like it's great like like anytime you need a tough guy grizzled veteran of war or whatever it's like dude's got a fucking like scar on his face you know like right in the middle of his cheek it's great is he the boondock saints or no is that a different guy you're thinking of norman

reedus i think oh yeah another they do yeah i think jason oh sorry jason momoa i think has a big fucking eyebrow scar uh from where he got somebody tried to shank him with a broken beer bottle or something or hit him with a beer bottle or something like that in a bar no geez is that what that is an eyebrow oh wow for sure that's the way it could have panned out for him with a beer bottle or something like that in a bar. Is that what that is? An eyebrow? Oh, wow. That's the best way I could have panned out for him. Just a little eyebrow line after getting bottled. It looks good. It looks cool.

It does. It makes him look pretty cool. We need to get cool scars, guys. It's a risk, though. I think if I just fuck with someone who has a broken bottle, it might turn out poorly. Yeah. It's not even a cool scar it's all gross he just disfigured my nipples but think of the

I saw a UFC fighter today doing his weigh in and his nipples were so far off his chest did you see that picture? yes but I'm not sure he was a UFC fighter please send that MMA fighter they were like standing there for their weigh-ins. You can see he's got well-defined pecs,

but his nipples are two inches lower than they should be. He said his nipples were on point. Yeah, he's making a little self-deprecating joke. So they're two inches lower than they should be. Is it because he used to be really fat and he lost so much weight? No, it's just a genetic malformation. You can't get those raised up a little bit? You absolutely could have those.

Check them out, dude. Yeah. Damn, that's not even... It looks like he's still loading. It's like he's got two pec tears. Maybe he's flexing his chest and it's pulling him up in a weird way. Really small, too. He does have tiny nipples.

There is no way he could milk a baby. The one on the right is on his upper ab at this point. Like he looks... I'm hovering my mouse over one of them and my finger over the... Yeah, he looks like... What's that shitty show, Kyle XY,

except he has the belly button, no nipples? Yep. Yep. Yeah, you can get that fixed if you want to augmentation they move nipples all the fucking time so right of the picture yeah on the right his left are right of the picture by his collarbone it looks is it broken there's something yeah that's that's usually when you injure your shoulder you'll get that weird kind of like um you know, mound or whatever. Sometimes it's only on one.

Sometimes it's on both. It's like his collarbone seems symmetrical. His shoulder's just in the middle of like too centered. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, he's done something there. My collarbones are kind of similar to this. They really stick out a lot.

But this is. I hadn't noticed. I'm going to need more shirtless pictures. I'll do what I can. I'll do what I can. The other guy has nice nails. More dick root this time. If you would step up your dick root game, it'd be appreciated.

Yeah, the other guy's got very defined abs, but he's got like the torso of just a fridge. Just a solid guy. Yeah, he doesn't really have an hourglass thing going on. What's the weight class for these guys? Phantom weight. Is that 145? If I had to guess, that for these guys phantom weight is that 145 does

that sound if i had to guess that's 145 yeah it's 145 yeah like just looking at them that looks like 145 they're easier ufc ufc fight pass right i hope nipples wins uh i don't have it i watch usually just free fights on youtube at the upload i gotcha yeah top comment is always great to see this monstrosity you've replied giving the people what they want no don't watch every pay-per-view it's like 1300 a year oh it's i used to be super into it uh but yeah i would order wrestling and then mma pay-per-views i'm curious ordering aws this past weekend and the ufc one and i was just like it's like 100 bucks like i'm not fucking doing that you know so what made you stop watching mma because i feel like my

i i would check up on mma stuff every day i used to spend like 90 minutes a day just staying current on mma things and now it's two hours a week i think uh at the time it was just that they were getting too expensive and um between all the events and then like uh when did it was the last fight i ordered i think it was anderson silva versus chel sun and two oh my god a long time ago yeah that's the last one i've ordered and then that. I would just watch free shit on YouTube, illegal or otherwise. It's expensive now. Is it $80? Does that sound right?

I don't know. I thought it was $65. But just for the pay-per-view, if you're not counting the Fight Pass and the ESPN Plus, I buy the ones that I'm really interested in. I'm a Conor McGregor fanboy. I know he's, it's more popular to hate him than love him these days, but I, but I love watching him fight. Uh, and, uh, anything in the one 55 pound division, that's like a big deal, any sort

of championship fight, I'll buy those. Uh, but, and John Jones, uh, Amanda Shevchenko, like my favorite fighters I'll buy everything else. I'll buy everything else I'll find a way to not buy and still watch which isn't all that hard don't tell Dana and and then like the stuff that I really don't care too much about but I know it's probably going to be good meat and potatoes just information to have because I like just just seeing what happened I watch the reddit gifs you know sometimes that's plenty to like get an idea of what the fight was about and, and, and sort of like, all right, this guy, Machaev is a good fighter. He did this, this, and that like, like, you know,

good wrestler. Can I talk about the pricing? Cause I looked it up. It's a little confusing. Yeah. So first of all, you need to buy ESPN plus for the right to buy the pay-per-view. Buying ESPN Plus doesn't give you the pay-per-view. If you buy ESPN Plus for like five bucks a month, then the pay-per-view is $85. God.

If you buy ESPN Plus, but you're on the annual plan, then it's $70. So that's a lot to process but um it's just expensive like it's so much money i well you gotta bear in mind that the espn plus does give you the prelims so like there is quite a bit of value there because you're getting early prelims and prelims so you're getting 8 to 12 fights every every, just about for that five bucks. And off topic, I read a lot of NBA news and a bunch of that is in the ESPN plus restricted area.

So I get some value there, but it still, I was looking at the, I think I pay month to month and I was like $85. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, I know Dana caught that streamer

pretending to play the game that is one of the funniest things i've ever seen have you ever seen the screenshot of that it's just this guy like pretending to focus with a controller in his hand it's just and what it is is he's he's you can see the fights on his glasses, intentionally and clearly. The entire fight is in his glasses, and you can watch it. No, it's a bit of an MMA meme, maybe inside meme knowledge, where Dana White said, they're going after streamers, and they got the fucking guy. And that tonight he's going down. And everyone's like, the guy?

Like, the one who stream street there are hundreds if not thousands of people illegally streaming your stuff and you caught a guy like it didn't i don't know which one they caught i can't tell uh it has had cal you it's had no impact and uh so it's a bit of an mma meme to say that dana caught it made him look out of touch and foolish is what i said like because it's like my stream still works so i don't know what you're talking about dude like i streamed it that night like like i didn't stream it i watched a stream that night like like like i said i buy the i buy the cards that i feel like are worth 65 dollars and more than one fight has to be good for that to happen i go to a web page with a i don't even

know i'll call it 150 different options for streaming like they're just all listed and i'll like scroll down two-thirds and pick one at random and usually it's not too overcrowded so when dana says he caught the streamer i'm like there's like a one in 150 chance that it's the guy and it would hardly be an inconvenience. And if it's not, let's go to the next one down the road. Like Kyle said, he looked out of touch and foolish. It's hard to stop people from illegally streaming UFC fights. At this point, $85 plus a monthly fee? That's crazy. That's absurd.

I used to order WrestleMania once know, back in the day. And it was like $45. And that was a once a year thing because that's fucking expensive. I mean, and then it's double now, nearly double. Like Woody and I went to an event in Boston, a Conor McGregor event. And we had good tickets. Like we weren't down on the floor and like the folding chairs but we were like the first row of seats maybe the second or third row

of seats it's like 250 dollars like compare that to like 80 dollars to sit in your living room like there is a difference right to free sitting on your fucking laptop you know yeah and then and then things start making a lot of sense i would i would pay five hundred dollars a year if he was like hey give me five hundred dollars a year you get access to all of our shit like yeah here you go now i get everything in like crystal clear hd whenever i want it not only would i also pay 500 a year i think that would be more than i pay now like he would get more from me it'd be a win-win but instead he's trying to charge me 1500 a year and he doesn't get it exactly yeah you're not i'm not gonna buy every single event i used to like there was a long time where i bought everyone but then there were a couple of stinkers there were a couple events

where i didn't feel like i got my money's worth i and it was like yeah i don't know about this like it's really worth it if you got people people over. If you've got multiple people over at your house and you're having a watch party. You guys ever did the thing where you charge $5 for entry and you'll have 10 people over so it pays for the fucking pay-per-view? No, but that makes a ton of sense. You know what's bullshit about that

the most? I assume other sports are probably better run than the NHL. I got NHL TV this year because I was like, I want to be able to watch every game. It was $75 or 80 bucks for the whole season. And it's like some blackouts may apply. And it's like literally every single Blues game is blacked out. Not every once in a while, not one out of three, not four out of five.

100% of the Blues games are blacked out. And it's like, I have to just open my VPN and just switch that I'm in Canada to watch Blues games after I paid $80 to have access to all this. This is fucking absurd. You guys are trying. You can't watch the game. This is our secret club.

Come on. This is absurd. Region locking is the most fucking bullshit thing. As someone who watches a lot of movies, I bought a fucking movie. I was looking forward to it. Pop it in my goddamn Blu-ray player. Shit says, like, wrong region. It was like a region B, you know, like UK only Blu-ray.

And I was like, I literally, like, set to fucking do this today because I couldn't rent it online anywhere i had to buy blu-ray it ruled my fucking evening so what was the movie i can't remember but it was like but uh it was it was i think it was some japanese horror movie something like that that sucks i had no idea that like physical discs could say nope can't watch this in this country they they don't now on 4k discs if you if you're rocking like the 4k blu-rays but the blue like blu-rays and i think dvds have like seven different regions and then blu-rays have like three it's all bullshit do you uh you collect a lot of physical

movies right like you have a big collection especially horror yeah i think i have some right next to me, actually. Yeah, I haven't bought physical media in forever, which is probably going to bite a lot of us in the ass. Oh, I love physical media because for the longest time, this movie's fucking awful, by the way. I recommend it, Miami Connection. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's called Miami what? Connection. Miami Connection. I've never heard of it. I watch it once a month. Once a month you watch Miami Connection. Yeah, but it's great because as someone who lives in the South, well, I used to have this problem before I got

fiber internet. I don't know why it's here in bumpfuck middle of nowhere, North Carolina, but it is. But before that, you know, a strong wind would knock out my fucking internet you know so i'd be like well let's watch some netflix and you know somebody farts and there goes the goddamn wi-fi so physical media helps in that regard yeah for sure i've got a few but nothing i used to collect like tons and tons of dvds i had a massive dvd collection and before

that i had a massive vhs collection and i i was just when dv when they came out with like blu-rays and then 4k blu-rays i was like is it ever going to stop no like i like like is this upgrading thing ever going to stop like i feel like every time i like devote a few thousands of dollars to this like like media format they just replace it it just seemed like lost money it became like video game consoles where you'd have to replace it every five ten years something like that with a new yeah so i've got a few 4k blu-rays and uh like my favorite stuff like saving private ryan and a few clint eastwood westerns and stuff like that but like nothing crazy like i probably got 10 or 15 yeah

we have some but nothing good a bunch of pixar stuff that like the kids would have watched a hundred times when they were little kids yeah someone broke into my house with a gun and was like find a dvd i'd be like i don't know i don't know i'm sorry you like cars i'll fucking kill you if you don't find a dvd i don't know where I would go I don't have any It's Microsoft Windows I came with my laptop

Yeah N-Sync no strings attached Album and it's cracked I found that in my box Jason Momoa picture and I just looked at the article Where I found it After his term on Game of Thrones he was completely in debt and starving and career failing post Game of Thrones

he wasn't paid that much I guess well yeah he was unknown and he was only like a bit character in season one like how many lines did he really have you know he didn't have a lot I I didn't even know his name I called him the handsome rapist but he was see i thought of his performance in game of thrones it was every scene he stole it he was this larger than life guy he crushed that role which i guess is why his career did well after you imagine how impossible it would have been to pull off his redemption arc from being a rapist if he was fat just imagine he's the exact same guy but he's really overweight like danny's not going to come around like it's at no point it's not going to be cool i was yeah it's it's funny i was thinking today of getting um some

like uh fitness youtubers on as a guest and one of the questions I had in my head for them is like, what's it like? Does everyone hold the door for you? When you're over the top good looking, are your jokes funny? All of them? Even the ones that aren't? What's it like to be fucking...

I don't know. You're not just the best looking guy in the room. You're the best looking guy at the room you're the best looking guy at the mall that day like do people treat you differently are you insta popular everywhere you go we could just have a whore on and like solve this this this this mystery right away it doesn't happen to guys much though like i wonder i don't know i i will say you know how to answer i will say this i live in a small town. So a lot of men are ugly here. A lot of dudes are a lot of women too.

But, um, I, I not to brag, but I'm usually, I think I'm on the better looking scale than most people around here. And, um,

you do get treated a little bit differently. Uh, and if I, like, you know, if I, if I'm, if I have a girlfriend or something like that,

or I'm on a date with a girl or whatever, she'll get treated differently if she's good looking. Because I guess like in California, it wouldn't matter so much. You're in like a big populated area. But yeah. We had that question a couple of weeks ago. Like which former guest would we pick as our gay lover? And I immediately went to you.

I was like, BT is our best looking guest, man. Got the mustache going on. I could. Yeah, absolutely. You were in my top. We're like a handsome couple.

But I mean, Tucker is just so live and careless. And you just like, I feel like I can just imagine myself just throwing him around the bedroom. You know, I went the other way. Dame drops. If I'm going to go gay,

I'm going super gay. Well, it doesn't make it any gayer uh it does it does i think kyle and blame truth fucking is just as gay i think that's a bit gatekeepy of you you need to be your kind of gay to be gay i know you harbored those kind of homophobic feelings. I think of them as double homo,

not homophobic. Did you circle me around? Double homo, that equals out. It's like math. You're essentially a Klan member now. Klansman. This sounds like you've got gay envy, that both of you wish you were half as gay as I was. I don't know. I'm happy with my pick of Tucker.

I'm happy with my pick as well. I know you are. I'm nervous about Dane coming back on the show. I would pick Harley. Be like father, son, weird thing. I dig it. I'd watch the video.

Yeah. It'd probably get recommended to me, to be honest. Harley's a really open guy. I bet he'd be down to clown to play around a little bit. You don't think so, Kyle? I don't know. You just hardly imagine it. I video called Harley like a couple of weeks ago,

not long after he was on the show. And he picked up and he had shaved his beard completely off, like clean shaven. And I thought that his assistant was about to hand the phone to some, to back to Harley. I was like, Oh, how's a real big shot.

He doesn't even answer his own phone. And then I was like, Oh shit, that's Harley. He was unrecognizable. Like I, but when he was at my house like years ago like he was i don't know like like had kind of what blame truth has going on like like pretty close beard like like nothing wild and uh you know but it's still a beard but he's he was clean shaving he had just gotten the... Just shaved or something.

With like close razor? Yeah, like baby faced. Completely shaved. Everything. And he was unrecognizable. I wonder if he's made a video without a beard. He did. I want to see. Yeah, I'm glad to have a beard.

Is it on his epic mealtime? I assume it is. You ever get so wasted? When I asked him about it, he was like, yeah, we just finished filming. I guess they had done a no beard episode or something. And I'm sure he made several videos thereafter that was like a little beard, a little more beard.

Yeah, he definitely looks weird without the beard. yeah he definitely looks weird without the beard yeah all it takes for him is just that short little beard though and then it's like oh that's harley but the the clean face oh the clean face he looks like um like he should he would own a surf shop or something yes he looks friendlier with no beard right like he looks like uh looks looks very friendly with no beard he looks? He looks very friendly with no beard. He looks a little intimidating with a beard. His beard, when he doesn't, I tend to see him when it's more shapely. Yeah, when he lets it just go, go fucking wild.

Holy shit, man. That's a gnarly beard. I mean, seeing him, it's at nine minutes and four seconds in the video face reveal and epic meal transformation. And that's like the morning he shaved. I assume that's what you saw, Kyle. And this is, I mean, he looks more Canadian somehow. He looks more into hockey, but like.

More into hockey. Maybe that's the hair too, but like. And it's not hidden. I don't know that man who is yeah it's a very different it's a very different look you know um i think you look weird what's that i think he looks better with the beard i do too but i'm biased because i don't think i've cleaned shaven in like fucking five years like if i shave it's you know i had a mustache and i'm like should i shave the sides and keep the fucking mustache going on hardcore i'm like nah fuck it no you pull off the mustache well i like the you look like a cop thank you thank you i find that uh

i like to change my look up because that way i can't be identified as easy me too i should grow one of those little pointy uh one of those little pointy chin beards like a conquistador. Oh! I thought about doing that and also mutton chops and also a mullet as a joke. My hair's getting long. I'm thinking about just fucking doing a mullet as a joke

when I get a haircut. Do it. I've thought about, you know, I mean, this is a ways away, you know, but it would be funny to like shave male pattern ballness into my head. Yeah.

Just kind of like, except leave like an Island here, like Costanza wedding, like season. My wedding. I'm going to do that. Like have that little, little tuft.

And then my castanza my season three castanza where oh you loved his sense of humor when you first met him didn't you didn't you were a funny guy and my vows is you know alex jones i promised it like oh i regret this already after all that that seems like it'd be a funny joke but also like that that's a long time to recover from a one-off joke yeah that's i've never been bald on my head like you do that you'd have to shave bald what if i have just a terrible bald head dude you just gotta fucking do it to see because i thought i was looking at my head and i'm like man i got like kind of the chromag fucking forehead

going on you know i'm like it's gonna look weird if i'm bald and then one day i was just like fuck i'm just gonna shave it because it was hot and i'm like going to the fucking barber so i shaved it they look good they look decent yeah i don't think it's a long commitment. You have wine stains. I don't even know about it. It's on the back of my head. In four weeks, you're high and tight. I would argue. For sure. Maybe.

I used to always shave mine when I was a teenager. Like early 20s and stuff. I would put a one guard on and just shave the whole fucking thing off but i did too and i looked awful yeah not a good look yeah pka dan used to do that he'd comb it he'd cut his own hair and some months would turn out great other months he'd get into work he looked like you know fresh into boot camp he's like yeah didn't go right mistakes were made and like you know so what

happens i'll have like a dent or something so now that's the maximum length and then he goes a little further and until he's basically bald i know how that is when i gave myself a haircut on twitch you you feel like you get one side down and then you go too short on the other side and now you got to even it up and then you go too short on the evening side and before you know it your hair is very short yeah that's why that's how the um shaved head happened to me i was like you know what i'm gonna give myself a fucking undercut here we go and i'm like oops fucked up there i gotta go higher and i'm like you know what i'm gonna see what i look like bald here we go you go too high and you just have like a plate on top of your head, like a little dish looking thing. Yeah, it was more like a bowl cut, you know, or like a Hitler Youth haircut going on.

I didn't want that. Those are trendy these days. Yeah, they are actually. There are a lot of weird trends. Mullets are a thing. That's kind of why I wanted to get one as a joke. Mullets are coming back, huh? I haven't seen many mullets.

Oh, I see a lot, but... I know where you live, though. That doesn't count. That's a good point. But that's where he lives, so the fashion is what you're surrounded by, right? I guess that's true, yeah. Everybody around him thinks that mullets are really cool,

and he gets a mullet. That's fashion. Get that rowdy, rowdy vibe. Right, right. That doesn't make jorts in style, Taylor. Like, there is a country. You know, Appalachia, they you know huge it's like yeah yeah you know as far as i can tell the cool thing are jorts mullets and confederate flags everybody loves them oh yeah back in time and telling everyone that like your stupid niche interests are what take off it's like in 1980 i'm like yeah and all

the hot girls like magic the gathering it's crazy like you'll play with me like oh i wanted to i wanted to take a look at your tattoos again they were talking about that before oh yeah what do we have here um cocktail um a blood jet with an eye uh a casket with a fucking, what do you call that? A scythe? Hereditary tattoo. Shining tattoo. And that's it. Shining the movie? Yeah, yeah.

Red rum. That's cool. I think the Molotov cocktail is pretty cool. I like the colors. I like the colors. I wanted to get tattoos in my 20s, but I was like, is this YouTube Twitch thing actually going to last?

Am I going to have to get a job at fucking parties or something? Yeah, they do restricted parties. And then last year, I was just like, you know what? I think we're good. Let's just fucking get some. Let's just piece it together throughout the year so i've been thinking about getting one for the last few weeks i don't know what i what i want yet i've

got some ideas i was looking at some norse stuff and uh i was looking at some uh some like um like all black and white negatives of uh of like trees with moons and crows and shit on my forearms. Some arrows, uh, like, like down the outside of the forearm, like, like,

like through there. Um, do you want any meeting or do you just like, like this looks tight? Yeah. The, the, the,

the ladder. Um, I don't really need any meaning to it. You know, I'm not pretty. One of arms, arms, uh,

probably forearms, probably for a big chest thing no i don't think i want a big chest thing um i saw i gotta head like mountains like like up here that i kind of like like like just the outline of like some some mountains like like a real simple kind of thing a subtle tattoo that accentuates my abs such that when I get fat, they're still there. Can we do that? An implant thing. Just like shading, right? A little darkness here and there. Adding a shadow, even though it's more of a keg.

Just always stand in correct lighting. Yeah. Your whole life. Only talk to people outside, directly under the sun. Dude, that's why fucking Brad Pitt pitt at fight club looks so damn good it's like it's the lighting they got the lighting fucking perfect yes i don't want to change topic off tattoo talk prematurely yeah the tattoo thing so blame for this are those all the ones you have so far yeah they're all in your one arm so far oh yeah i did get this one at first it just says

it's a reference to my favorite band um and honestly i kind of want to fill this arm up with like just color stuff or whatever i want and then this arm i want it to be kind of all black um maybe even get some prison style tattoo i kind of like simple simple best way I can put it is not good tattoos. Like prison style. I make inexpensive tattoos. I do tattoos really inexpensively. You should come over. I will give you the

worst tattoo you've ever seen. You'd be my first customer. My cousin has the worst tattoos. And a lot of enthusiasm. What does your cousin have? Like across his belly, like his lower stomach. He's got kind of like a semicircle of letters.

They're like gothic style letters and they say outlaw. So like that's terrible that's all and like up on his delt on on one side i don't remember which doesn't matter he's got like a confederate flag that's like sort of weathered and torn apart with maybe like wrapped like wrapped around an eagle that's angry now it's jacked enough to pull off any arm tattoo no he's he's not like off any arm tattoo no he's not like jacked but like he's a muscular guy you know he does manual labor like he's not

like skinny or anything that's great like this would be the sort of tattoo where like I would you're breaking up Kyle go ahead Kyle I think you're back. Yeah, it did something weird. It had a little interference.

You would sue the tattoo artist? Yeah, if they put this thing on me. I think it's Freddie Mercury, right? It is. Man, I kind of like that. In a weird way, I kind of like it. Do you guys know who... Let me see if I can find it. You guys know who

Steampunk is, right? The wrestler? I feel like I know the artistic style. Alright. There's got to be a Reddit with horrible tattoos. I like the Ragret Nothing. I just realized nothing's misspelled too.

Regret Nothing is one of them for tattoos? Well, it's misspelled. Is regret spelled correctly? It's messing with my head. I think it's nothing. Just nothing is misspelled. It's nohing. Yeah, because I've sold no ragrets one time as a tattoo. For some reason, I projected that rag rat misspelling onto regret here, which is actually right. But like you said,

nothing is wrong. That's the, I think that's the point. And I don't want like some chick's name or a, or face late. Like that's just a terrible idea. I can't like, even guys who are like,

like, like if Woody got jackie like tattooed his arm like that makes a ton of sense but like for some dude who's like in his 20s like in his in what i'm going to call his first marriage to do that it's it's it's always just a terrible idea so the plan ahead that's a funny that's ironic though that's meant to be a thing oh i think the regret nothing was meant to do that, too. I could be crazy. I'm sure the guy says it is, regardless of whether it was or not. The one I just sent is the wrestler CM Punk,

but inexplicably they changed all his tattoos on his person in this rendition to donuts. And then across his stomach, he's got donuts. And I don't know why. And I, I, it's one of the best things. Panties too.

On the right side dealt. It looks like either a pokeball or like the, the classic Simpsons donut. Yeah. I think it's a classic Simpsons donut. Yeah. But this is disjointed. I don't know what.

Schizophrenic nonsense. It might be a pokeball. None of it. It could be anything. Yeah. That's a woman. There's't know what. It's a pokeball. Schizophrenic nonsense. It might be a pokeball. None of it. It could be anything. Yeah. That's a woman, I think. There's no anchor point for us to draw from here. Is that a woman?

A woman's arm? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Okay. My buddy actually has a, it's a tattoo of Stone Cold Steve Austin doing like the fist raise thing that he does, you you know his signature taunt but he's instead of beers he's got ice cream cones and it says cold stone cream austin that i like see that i like that's good i'm okay with that yeah i saw this one and i was like oh what's so horrible about

it it's not good but then the comment was man that guy really likes his turtle and look at the kid he's supposed to be holding that doesn't look like a turtle oh man these are so something you want to steer clear of don't get someone's face because it seems like a lot of people or a lot of tattoo artists struggle with cross eyes like accidentally like making the person look cross yeah one thing i don't get is okay woody that's great that's that's woody's right there yeah that's what i'm talking about very nice that is man what do you look like when you gain weight just good good i'm sure like a boss or a kai at the end of the level. You look like Fisk. Is that his name from Daredevil?

I don't know. Oh man. This is... You know, you said you wanted a bad tattoo. Blame truth. How about this? This guy got dog nipples tattooed on him. Okay. When I say bad, I don't mean like dog nipples. I said dog nipples ined on him. Okay, when I say bad, I don't mean like dog

nipples. It says dog tits on his stomach. Jesus Christ. It says dog tits above his belly button in a child's script. I don't mean like that. No balls.

We're giving you good ideas. Ironic or just like a single needle prison style. It's simple, I should say. Not bad, but simple. Let me see here. Kyle, this is the bird.

This is the owl I'm going to get. Tell me if you like it. Oh, that's so awful. I was just about to say something like this would be pretty sick. Looks like a potato. That would be very cool.

I don't think I'd want a forearm tattoo. I would prefer it higher up on my arm. Probably. You chose an owl with the smallest head, Taylor. It's not representative of you. I know. It's chose an owl with the smallest head, Taylor. It's not representative of you. I know. It's not an owl. It's not an owl.

It's a fat pigeon. That actually looks pretty neat. Very high detail owl. It's a horned owl. The coolest kind that I look the most like. I don't know where I'd get it. Probably arm. Delp or something like that. I don't know where I'd get it. Probably arm, like Delp or something like that.

I don't think I'd want to do a whole forearm thing. That's always... I hate that one. That is so fucking funny. Oh, I love it! That bothers me. There's something about that that bothers me. This guy's awesome.

That reminds me, oh oh man this old show called wienerville the puppets anybody ever seen that you guys ever seen that yeah it would give you nightmares it's like uh this guy does a puppet show but he does stuff like this he puts like tiny puppet bodies on his big head like He sticks his head through the thing. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, for God. The back of his head is like a scary person. It looks like a PS1 game, like the faces in a PlayStation 1. Yeah, it's like PlayStation 1

Hagrid. And you can see he left his head. He's bald, but he left eyebrows in the mustache on the back of his head. I just noticed the eyebrows. That's hilarious. So fucked. What if that was like your grandpa?

What a terrifying grandpa. That'd be a badass grandpa. You'd be scared of him. Especially as a kid. That's a pretty detailed Trump there. Oh. That's not great. Oh, and I just sort of picked up the twitter thing that didn't age great no no and also like i mean i'm not a stylist but so trump's in black and white

and you got these two bright blue things that's yeah yeah i do like a little color like i think forget that it's a trump tattoo and those are Twitter tweeters in blue there. But like, I do like that color. You like the idea of a color accent. Yeah, I think that blue color looks really good. But they should have added color to his face or something if they're going to do a color one. That's a risk.

I don't want any of what he's got going on. Yeah, right, it'd be Cheetos. No, you're okay. Imagine that they're going to do. That's a risk. I don't want any of what he's got going on. Yeah. Right. It'd be Cheetos. Imagine that it's a cool design. It's a, it's a bird that you like, not Trump.

Like if I get in, like if I'm getting the big center part, black and white, I think it's called gray scale in tattoo. Then I probably want everything in gray scale. Like I wouldn't want blue on the side. Yeah, that is,

that is what Jordan warm. I don't want that. No, no, I guess we get the color tattoos instead of the festering skin necrosis yeah i actually like this one i like simple tattoos i know not everybody does but there's something clever and inverse about this heisenberg tattoo to me i like that too i do like when they play with negatives uh a little bit i've seen some uh some of the tattoos i was describing that are like uh like those trees up the forearm like like i've seen him do one in the negative and one in the positive like like i do like that i just it does i mean like we're kind of talking more about

the style of it than the the actual thing but like i would never want someone's face and i'm trying i don't think i like any tv show enough to get a tattoo about it or any movie enough like i would never want someone's face and i'm trying i don't think i like any tv show enough to get a tattoo about it or any movie enough like i was even thinking like lord of the rings and it's like even there i don't think so i'm borderline on that one like like the problem is like i don't think any of them look great that i've seen like mostly what i see are the shards of narsil and the white tree of gondor. I see some Balrog stuff, but it's like, why would you want that on you? He's a bad guy.

Yeah. You know, you don't want the Witch King or Sauron or Saruman on there. I've seen some big fucking Gandalfs on people. Yeah. Yeah, the Tree of Gondor, that is a really cool looking thing. I really like that. That would be really fucking hard

as a tattoo artist to do though like and not fuck it up because it's a lot of symmetry you know and for tattoos doesn't uh like really really fine stuff have trouble aging like it bleeds um yeah usually that's that's why i get more like traditional simpler stuff because it's very thick lines doesn't fade a lot you know I like this last one actually again the simple ones kind of appeal to me more I like the simple one you linked the simple one more than the above one

with I mean first of all Gandalf in this he looks sinister he looks like a puppet master he's trying to help. I don't remember any of these scenes from the movie. Bill the Pony's there. You don't remember Gandalf puppeteering a naked chick with a good ass?

No, and then the spinning clock, the eye, and the ghoulish, you know. It's like if he watched Lord of the Rings on Asset, he'd get a tattoo of it. Yeah. It's like, does that lord of the rings i'll ask it you get a tattoo of it like yeah it's like is that is that just happened to look like gandalf yeah yeah i don't like this is gandalf at no point he looks evil here i don't care it could be dumbledore and this is some like gay ritual he does and oh that one you got you just linked linked, Kyle, the tree one. Yeah.

That's a great one. That's the sort of thing that I'm considering. Better than the hula hoop one? Come on. The hula hoop one. I like that. And I also like stuff like this. I'm about to link it.

Like the arrows down the outside of the forearm. What is that supposed to mean? Which part? Like arrows all bound together. You used to be an adventurer like you. I mean, I like archery. Do you

love archery? Do you absolutely love archery? Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment to arrows? You're going to have to make up stories about archery. Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment to arrows? You're going to have to make up stories about archery and like...

I love it. I watch the Olympics every year. I like Sven Schmorgensmann. I've done a lot of archery. I plan to do a lot more. And like when you're holding a bow back, that part of your arm is exposed outward. So it'd be kind of cool to have an arrow coming down it, you know, these really, really

detailed, good tattoos. I do like them, but I feel like at a certain point they're so good. It's like, I don't know, you know, like it's too good. Yeah. Like, uh, I don't know. It's just me though. you know like it's too good yeah like uh i don't know it's just me though i do like you know getting his own look here they got him in the mind moria on top of the tomb of balin getting ready to fuck up some some goblins oh my god at some point no matter how good the tattoo is

your physique is gonna bring it down like five stars oh wow i didn't even notice his physique but you're right why is his ass crack so high i like that they tattooed around it like they're gonna have to come up you know what why don't you just cut the whole tattoo off a little higher instead of drawing attention to your man this is gonna look awful when he it looks like gandalf is looking at the ass crack and completely the same way he's pond he pondered over the ring of power when he first found it in bilbo's house it looks like smiegel is guarding the ass crack in a way yes or like the ring is about to tumble into it and he's going after it tumble into his ass dude the fucking the pit where the ring falls into at the end that's his ass crack

yeah it's not doom yeah and then like in keeping with the the story you got some japanese characters on the left tricep classic lord of the rings uh it's just awful this is terrible even if this guy was fit as can be i would hate this you gotta be so fit you gotta be so fit to have that it's ridiculous and also like look at the side of his love handles and you can see how it kind of just abruptly stops like a portrait and so looking at him from a side profile is gonna look absurd it looks awful see that yeah you guys keep saying you have to be fit getting fits not that hard i've been fit a bunch i've been really fit in my 20s 30s and 40s staying fit is tricky yeah being fit all the time that's the challenge well and this like like you've kind of fucked

yourself like can you how much weight can you lose or gain from this point with a full body piece until it looks bizarre? If this guy decides he's going to be like Mr. CrossFit for the next year, Gandalf's going to look even older. 40? Yeah. It depends how tall he is. I think he might go low. Yeah, that's true.

I was assuming this guy was short for some reason based on his build, but maybe he's a power lifter. Look at that muffin top. He looks kind of like I did when I was assuming this guy was short for some reason based on his build but maybe he's a power lifter look at that muffin top he looks kind of like I did when I was fat and I put on weight like you just kind of gain it all in your upper body in like a bulbous kind of

everything about him is smooth yeah taut well I don't like that like Tucker yeah like Tucker yeah there are some horrible tattoos I just want to run my fingernails up the small of my back

I found a better picture of him oh okay oh you got a front my files are too powerful one moment take a screenshot see I don't want anything as involved as this, of course. Yeah.

I'm not looking for any lifestyle. I just want a little adornment, that's all. Just a minute. Oh, goodness. Oh. It gives you a little more full picture, I feel like. I suppose so. He actually looks better here.

Yeah, he does. Yeah, but still, this tattoo is no good. I suspect those pants were from last year's waistline. Because they're pretty much a tourniquet at this point. All right, we all have many sizes of pants that we go through sometimes. Part of being an adult is you put on weight quickly and then you lose it slowly and then you gain even more quickly

on a constant slope. And that's called being an adult, Woody. Thank you. Eating charcuterie meats until your heart hurts. That's right. I have heart hurts. Heart pain. That would probably be,

you know how you hear about that? Like people with really bad diets, especially older people where it's like, Oh, I'm having like heart pain. It's like legit heart pain should be enough to scare the shit out of anyone. Right. Like that's one of the

most important organs yeah i don't can't there is a guy in my universe i don't want to dox him or anything but he went to the hospital for heart trouble but earlier that night he had posted the magnificent dinner that he had had and it was just like steak and macaroni and cheese and all the things you could name that might give you heart issues. And it was like, you know, there's a bit of a cause and an effect here. Yeah.

Very clearly. But you want steak. Man, steak is good. I like those what are those called? Chirons? Chevrons. I like the Chevrons. The problem is they. I like those, what are those called? Chirons? Chevrons. I like the Chevrons. The problem is they're vaguely military,

which I have no interest in being perceived as. I mean, it looks like your arm would be a boost. You might get discounts all over. Yeah, sure. Yeah, and my Starbucks would be a little cheaper, I suppose. AutoZone. Get like, hoorah, somewhere visible. And then also get like Santarah somewhere visible and then also get like like santa somewhere nearby but not

visible and be like fucking guy got ho ho wrong well you were trying to give me the discount i'm not gonna say no so you're dressed in green beret regalia that would be the best thing ever just to have santa like right up the sleeve on a short sleeve shirt and then you're like actually you know do it totally like green beret jacket with a navy white cap on yeah it doesn't help your case at all i thought of some movie tattoos as well like like movies that i actually like but i don't know which one's up in your head it's like i love that so actually like but i don't know which one's up in your head it's like i love that so much i would get a tattoo because that would be right

hard you also love all right a hundred different movies yeah you gotta go super nerdy um how about star trek you like star trek a lot i was about to say so like the the the the nerdy shit that i that i wouldn't get but i would consider is stuff like the Death Eater tattoo from Harry Potter. It's like this snake wrapped around a skull. If you just search Death Eater tattoo, you'll see it. It's on the forearm. And maybe like the fucking Klingon insignia, which is like a three-pointed barbed sort of star uh with a circle around it i like the i like the harry potter one the uh the death eater or whatever yeah the death eater

thing does yeah that looks pretty cool it looks like a pretty good bad guy tattoo that might be the one you're talking about yeah that's pretty much exactly that yeah yeah the dark mark tattoo you know that's what they would touch to like you know become evil not no no no i like the small subtle tattoos where they they use like seven lines to you hate that kyle that's an everyone hates that but me oh i miss maybe i misread your your body language small subtle let me see if I, I think they're called the minimalistic. Minimalistic. Yeah.

Those are negative ones. Kind of. I'm going to get you an example. I mean, as far as probably price and discomfort, minimalism is probably the way to go with tattoos. The thing is like so many things that are, that fit my sense of style.

I think it's a girl thing. Maybe a health bar, like a Mortal Kombat HP bar, if they could do the ink so that it slowly ran out. That'd also be cool with an hourglass. Now, if there was ink that did that, if you could get an hourglass and start with it like half full of sand, over time it would it would like it would change that'd be sick so that's a harry potter tattoo done in a minimalist style yeah that's that's almost like like prison style where they just use like one needle one pass i like that too it's um but like a lot of them you know like like a conjunction i think they look really good this shit appeals to me but i feel like just like when i walk into the women's fucking sneaker section and think i've hit gold because every one of them is

better than the next i'm like oh i'm liking girl things again he just likes the way he'll what he just likes the way heels make his thighs look that's all that is yeah this makes it look tremendous i mean the brown one's kind of cool i do like the brown thing you'll notice it's on a girl though I think or just a weak man could be okay this is interesting there's like a smile frown thing going on there but again

I don't like that one you know I don't like that one enough to get but I guess I think it's clever and that's why I showed it there's a paragliding i think i want something like bottom of the forearm or like side of the forearm not so much like the whole back of my arm so it's just always visible if i took that and made it even more simple you know like like the fuck is it oh it's a paramotor i was like i was

i couldn't tell there were strings between i thought it was some sort of a weird leech like creature attacking some sort of pod creature with japanese letters underneath i was i thought someone was sledding you think it needs okay because I thought the lack of strings made it like I don't know nicer more clever I don't think most people would get it because like it's a Kyle and I both know you do that and we didn't pick it up right away

yeah I didn't get it either looks like decent amount of detail on the yeah it looks I want to take that and simplify I'm probably not going to do anything, I'm full of shit. But take that and simplify it and that's what I'd be going for. I'm looking for

Yeah, if I get a tattoo Do you wear a wedding ring? Me? No. I have for long periods of time. I stopped wearing it when I moved here because I was just fucking with farm equipment almost every day. It's super dangerous.

Like I'm, I think we've looked before like the injuries that can come from wedding rings, everything from them being grounded out during welding and melt to your bone to a degloving your entire finger. If they get caught on something, it's a, it's a huge danger thing if you're working with stuff like that.

So, so I was going gonna say maybe the tattoo i thought of that too i forget who it was in my life but like i was like you know wedding ring tattoo i somehow brought it up oh it was the army guys i have like army friends and to them that is like the biggest cliche stupidest straight out of boot tattoo that they've ever seen i guess in in it was just like, oh, my friend thinks this is the dumbest tattoo a human can get. Yeah, those are guys who get cheated on by their wives

for a living. It's a rampant problem in that demo, right? Who could imagine that leaving your wife home alone with plenty of disposable income for six to eight months at a time would cause any infidelity to occur.

Just surrounded by hot 21-year-olds praying on it. So what's your wife doing while you're over here in the desert? Oh, she's back at base with all the like 19 to 22-year-old new recruits running track. She's being absolutely

piped. You're not wrong. it just sounds mean i know you hit the bulls we've got a lot of military guys in the uh that watches and a lot of them in the patron like whenever we're doing our our $50 hangouts there's always like some rivalry some guys from like the national. Some guys from the national... One guy's from the cavalry and one guy's in a marine and they've got some sort of a fucking rivalry going on of course.

I said to the cavalry guy, I'm like, aren't you in the cavalry because you couldn't make it in the marines? He's like, well, yes, but... You gotta know. What you have to understand is now that I am in the cavalry, I have a lot of regrets, and I don't appreciate your comment. I didn't even know we still had cavalry.

Right? Oh, it's air cav, you know. I know. I know he's not riding horses. Do we have any horses? I suspect there's some horses left right even ceremonial horses you probably still have ceremonial we have a band we have people that like i i'm gonna get hated on for this but that thing where they take the rifles and do the synchronized dancing is the stupidest fucking thing in the world. And I see him like, oh, we're just trying to show respect for the secretary of fucking North Korea or whatever.

And I'm like, we're synchronized dancing. You guys can't see the lunacy in this. Why are we synchronized dancing? This is the you got to synchronize your gun throws even better than the other army. Like, have you ever seen the Pakistan India border? You got to synchronize your gun throws even better than the other army. Like, have you ever seen the Pakistan-India border where at the end of every day, I think it is, they both do like that New Zealand like haka where they're yelling at each other. And the Pakistanis, they flip that fucker up and they're, oh, God, it's spinning it. Indian guy flips it even higher, dares him to throw it. Like, and it's, you know, they're going bananas.

Look up like India-Pakistan border, like, their little challenges. It's really cool. We've done it before. They're aggressive. It's intimidating. And they pick only their biggest, burliest, bearded guys. Like, you can't get on there if you can't grow a real beard. Like, they've got these ridiculous handlebar mustaches all waxed and fucking twisted up.

If they went to actual war, like india or pakistan they'd be like don't send those guys those guys are like our models they don't even know how to shoot they're spinny guys they spin and they lift weights you know they're meant to look all their mustaches yeah that's their mustache i i no i don't understand it it seems like a massive waste of time like like like like i don't understand why they're not like like i would get it if like they replaced that with like a ropes course like like like or like an obstacle course or something like that some invasive crossfit thing like that would be pretty neat if some guy busted out 31 pull-ups i'd be like jesus fuck 31 pull-ups is hard like in gear and everything

yeah like like it'd be such a thing but like look i've seen synchronized dancing and the rifle version of synchronized dancing is is really kind of weak sauce like it is super weak sauce i don't get it i don't understand why they're spent because here's the thing why are they they have a limited amount of time to like learn a very important set of skills right like they have one or two jobs they do and it's mostly about protecting

the country that sort of blanket covers everything they're supposed to be doing and I just cannot imagine any scenario in which synchronized dancing is going to protect us from fuck all it'll distract our opponents why are they dancing i honestly get the band um it it that that makes sense to me we had a guy we have a guy again the $50 patron who's like he got paid a ton of money to join one of the armed forces and play in the band and someone was like well what happens in a war he's like i am the last person they come to i'm getting

paid ninety thousand dollars a year to play my fucking instrument i you know like they compete against like the marine corps band and win and shit like that like they do competitions with that the marine the toughest band in the or the navy band or the air force band or the fucking space force band or whoever the fuck but like the synchronized fucking rifle twirling nonsense is silly as hell to me i don't see how they can justify spending any amount of time getting good at that when that time could have been devoted to like getting in better shape learning to like shoot better learning like some sort of new piece of technology that's being... Why don't they train these guys on drone surveillance or how to use some new scope

or some new laser designator thing? It seems like that time could be better applied elsewhere. Yeah. Yeah, well, it couldn't be more poorly applied. It couldn't be more poorly applied. I just wish instead of like marine corps like trumpet songs they just go ahead and drop all the pretense and play some fucking n-sync and get it over with like they should play jock jams like get everybody really amped before you go to

war you know pump up the jam pump it up you know everybody jams yeah oh man oh seven year old eight year old taylor about to jump into the hockey rink roller hockey rink blasting jock jams on my disc man this is where we get messages actually actually that was jock jams two you're thinking it's not it was jock jams one because it came out the same time as kids bop six probably i don't know but you know all your rifles twirl your rifles all you want because i'm not gonna fucking twirl a rifle with you i'm not allowed do you guys know that song uh coco the the rap song it was a meme like several years ago i'm in love with the coco oh yeah yeah yeah yeah they made that a Kidz Bop song, actually.

And the song's about cocaine. Cocaine, yeah. And they changed it to chocolate milk. In love with the cocoa. Kidz Bop is wild. What are they on now? Kidz Bop, newest Kidz Bop. Oh, they probably covered wet-ass pussy about giving your cat a bath or something.

I like the concept. or something properly bathed your daughter man well kids bop 40 came out yeah kids about 40 2000 so bad 19 so Oh, man. 19, so we're probably on 41, 42. Rub-a-dub-dub with some wet-ass pussy. Three-year-old. Let me see if they have wet-ass pussy. I don't think that'll work. No. Wet-ass pussy kids. That doesn't exist, I promise.

I have been motorcycle crazy lately. I'm not even riding it. I just wish I was. I went into the stable, and I'm like, I'm going to fix my motorcycle. I hadn't ridden it. I just wish I was. I went into the stable and I'm like, I'm going to fix my motorcycle. I hadn't ridden it in too long. So it needed like the battery. All it needed was a new battery. That was it. So I dropped the new battery in and like, I think new batteries often come flat. So I put the battery tender on it and I give a little time and I start it. But I had to jump it off a lawnmower. Cool, cool, cool. Everything's going great. I run it

for like 15 minutes. Now in off-roading and in cars sometimes if the battery's flat you might leave the two alternators connected like you run the donor car and it will help charge the battery and apparently in like motorcycles atvs jet skis and like that class of things, that is a very stupid idea. So I run the motorcycle and everything's going great. I run it for like 15 minutes and I rev it up and it sounds good and everything is cool. After 15 minutes I turn it off and I'm going to see

if it restarts. See if the battery has enough charge now. Maybe take her for a spin. It doesn't restart. It turns over. It sounds like the battery's strong everything is cool but it's just not starting and um i played with that for a while i charge it overnight i google i'm not making any progress i get a real mechanic to come over and he does what i would have never done he turns the key and it's what he doesn't hear he's like i

don't hear the fuel pump running. This is a problem. I would have never known to not hear that properly. Anyway, I fried the computer. It turns out that the lawnmower's alternator, which is powerful, sent too much power to a motorcycle. power to a motorcycle and you want to charge motorcycle jet ski atv whatever off a flat battery off a just the battery and not run it at the same time so now i think i'm in this for like a four digit repair and uh um then i will have my motorcycle back hopefully next week but uh it does suck but i'm in the meantime i'm just consuming tons of youtube motorcycle content it's great weather it is great weather's great woody they make uh they make these uh i had to

buy one for my car because uh i do a lot of wilderness hiking in the summer and i didn't want something around the battery dead and me be stuck out there it's like this little battery tender yeah it's like a little uh like a little jumper it's like a portable jumper you charge it up prematurely you carry it with you it holds the charge for years you can self jump yourself uh if you're i think they probably make one for a motorcycle too that's safe yeah they make a cool one it's a capacitor so basically if your's dead, it will still have enough energy in it, just too slow. And it will charge the capacitor. So you hook up the capacitor to a dead battery for like 15 minutes.

And then it will charge. It'll start your motorcycle or car or whatever. They make a bunch of cool things. I had my motorcycle on a battery tender. But I had swapped out the battery for a LiPo battery, which is really nice. It's lighter. And the battery is up high between your knees on a BMW. And it's just a nice place to reduce weight because it's up high.

And it turns out LiPo batteries don't do well on battery tenders, and I had to put in an AGM. Anyway, it sucks, but this is a problem that money can solve. It's not one of life's big problems and uh next week i'll have my motorcycle back and we'll go ride sweet yeah i can't wait i'm still waiting to get my basement fixed so that should be happening this upcoming week people come and find me to get construction started repairing my walls and my ceiling and putting new flooring in and everything i hope missouri carpenters are good i had a i had a pipe burst blame truth in my basement and it caused quite a bit of damage in my in the finished

area of my basement man i've uh something like that happened with my bathroom. I had a water heater leak and it, it got into the floor and caused some, basically I didn't know what was happening and it leaked into the bathroom floor, but like underneath, you know, the actual flooring. So now there's like this unevenness from the water damage. And it constantly feels like I'm going to fall through the floor but i still

haven't got it fixed and it's been like two years so i mean you will eventually fall through the floor right yeah but that's gonna be fun i think so you just gotta stay thin exactly yeah exactly you gotta stay working out you'll collapse the target weight that would be you know second, second floor, right? You wouldn't be falling into the crawl space under your house. I have a basement, but I actually did the math. I think the bathroom is over the unfinished part. It's like one of those half basements that's half dirt, half finished.

I think it's just over dirt. So I'm just going to fall on some some dirt like 10 inches under it's fine oh that's not even a fall yeah I'll just wait till the hole appears and then I'll get it fixed yeah well you've shown before I think like a few times ago when you came on you showed a photo of like what your

room looked like in the olden days where you're like yeah I would bring chicks here to try and fuck and it's like there's just an infinite number of empty two liters and and i you know i was thinking about that the other day i legitimately don't know how i still got laid because women would have to jump over trash to get onto this bed with no sheets on it. It was just a mess. I got burned into my head. Wings of Redemption would proudly say he plays every game on its hardest mode.

That's how Blame Truth plays sex, right? He's playing this on veteran mode. He can only get laid with the smoothest of lines as they step over trash. I think there's some weird thing with it. When you don't give a fuck that much, it's in a weird way. It's like attractive, you know, like this guy doesn't care that he's a filthy slob,

you know, uh, when girls come over actually, and they have to use the bathroom, I'm like, Hey, my bathroom's pretty fucked up water damage. You know,

like you're going to fall through the floor possibility. And they're like, okay. Yeah. And they're like, it's not that bad. Let's just say, baby, you're not the only thing in this house. It's not that bad. Women like a dangerous bad boy. Let's just say, baby, you're not the only thing in this house that's extremely

wet. My floorboards are continuous. A lot of water soaked through. It is bad. I've cleaned up, though. I've cleaned up. You. I've cleaned up.

You showed the new one, and it's infinitely better. Who knew you had that much space in there for walking around? It's crazy because I'm not necessarily a messy person. Only when I only really actually start to dislike the mess when it becomes a hassle like when i have to jump i do a fucking vertical leap to get into the bed or when i'm tripping over like dog shit in the floor that's when i'm like okay we got to clean this up you know um the dishes start smelling like a dead body i'm like okay now it's time uh so i'm not traditionally messy i will clean it i've seen worse on like neckbeard nests that subreddit

if you guys know what that is we may have looked at that but like I mean waiting until the food on your plate stink I don't do that no I don't do that I just have like empty cans next to me you know maybe a dirty fork or something but

nothing too crazy you said it was called neckbeard nests neckbeard nests it is maybe a dirty fork or something, but nothing too crazy. You said it was called, yeah, neckbeard nests. Neckbeard nests. It is, it is, it makes me feel better about my sometimes, I guess. Oh, my God. This guy's got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. It appears to be empty 12 packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Yep. All over. Monitors too. It's covered. I can't tell. Is that Pabst Blue Ribbon on the table? Okay. Oh, those are probably PB.

Oh my God. 10 all time. That's the most beer cans I've ever. This all just a bunch of alcoholics doesn't it if you go to if you go to all time it is it is scary that's what i'm at 10 all time been on a yeah it says in the title been on a six month binge sobered up and this is my drinking room whoa damn that's sad uh let's see here how can you tell number 10 oh if you still yeah there's one i'm not sure if it's going to pop up in the top but there's one where there is a literal syringe on a bed with no no sheet and the bed it has like a hole in it it looks it appears burnt the bed appears burnt um hopefully i can find that one because that one's fucking doozy yeah i'm looking it's a

this guy at least it's a bunch of waters yeah like you're just really wasteful and it gets sad when they describe it as a depression nest oh like it makes me see it through a different lens like oh oh for sure like especially the the ones with booze all over the place it's like no one drinking that much is happy like someone drinking that much is incredibly depressed oh yeah for sure my god i'm seeing some of these where like mine was never that bad in my defense like uh the what is it the six month binge post like like mine was never that bad in my defense. Like the, what is it? The six month binge post like that. Mine wasn't that bad.

Was yours ever like depression related? You think you were in a bad space? Maybe I think it was more so that, that period of time where I got really fat, it was more so more, more so than depression. There were, there were bouts of that, but that was caused by me getting so fat, I think, and not the other way around.

Could not being in a good space mentally be the cause of the weight gain? No, I was trying to gain weight, primarily. Well done, then. I was seeing how fat I could get and how much beer I could drink. The depression was a bonus on top of that.

That was a freebie. You were trying to see how fat you could get and how much beer you could drink? Yeah, I do weird things. I get into things really hardcore. And it's weird things. Right now, I'm into cryptocurrency. So I've gone down the rabbit hole. I'm trying to, you know, I'm investing and trying to make some bank this year.

Two years ago, I was trying to get as fat as possible. Why? I just, I just get bored. I don't know. I just do challenges like personal challenges. Last year, I was really trying to get in good shape, lose the weight, you know know get get muscles get nice and lean um so i'm just all over the place i'm just i'm you know well when you were drinking as much beer as you could you were into probably like sampling and trying a bunch of different ones and because that was your obsession at the time oh yeah oh i was into so much i mean i had an entire beer fridge um put in my kitchen actually just

dedicated just a beer it was it was probably packed with like 50 at a time that's so many just and then you get into that pack wrap mentality of like do i have enough beer you know what i mean because i what if i get so drunk i can't go get more, you know? Also, you're probably like, oh, I got 60 beers at home, but this artisan beer, I just have to try. This will be so different than the beers I have at home. Exactly. It's probably for the best that I'm not allowed to drink alcohol. Because I could totally see myself like trying to become a mixologist

over here or something like that and buying a bunch of fancy gins and tequilas and stuff and making drinks and just becoming a full-blown alcoholic you'd have fun with it like that'd be a fun hobby for you to have like when we do like Taylor have you not noticed all or nothing you get obsessive with hob you know what you're right it's for the best that you don't make you're not a mixologist it's all there's no way i'd be like it what was that thing from rick and morty where where uh he's like you drink he's like yeah like cool drinking sexy drinking not the trailer park insanity like that that's where i'd take it i'd take it to like sort of trailer park levels of insanity just you think you'd start off with like a really nice bar and it's like, I'm going to make myself a top shelf Manhattan and like three days later, just bottle on the coffee table. Yeah.

I bet some bourbon will be good in this coffee. Well, let's just do two shots of bourbon. Every cup. Eight cups a day. Oh, no. What have I done? You know what? This coffee is a waste of space.

Just put bourze in there. Kyle and I have that in common where if we get into something, because I pretty much figured that from you talking about rust or whatever. If you get into something, you get fucking into it and you don't stop. So like beer, liquor, if you start collecting it, you know what I mean? And you start drinking your collection it's it's it's not like an addictive personality thing it's like a more like an obsessive thing like you just get really into it you keep fucking doing it yeah i get really

obsessive about all sorts of things um like i don't like to dabble in things yeah i'm not that's that's not my style like like um like right now i'm kind of into poker right so like so that's all you do i don't want to say when but my probation officer said that i could go on a poker trip um i'm telling woody and taylor don't don't reveal when i'm going on a poker trip but like he's he's you know i'm going to casino to play some fucking poker and i've been playing like almost every single night and in my free time i'm like reading poker books and watching poker videos and like like i'm i can't dabble in poker yeah it doesn't work that way for me yeah and when total war warhammer 3 comes out it'll be nice because then you'll get really obsessed with that again yeah yeah absolutely i'm i'm worried about

the magic the gathering cards for uh for for lord for Lord of the Rings and Warhammer 40k because those are two properties that I really like a lot. Like I've read those 40k novels. Just jump in, the water's warm. I want that Vermintide 40k thing. What's it called? I have the name close. Warhammer 40k. No, you're talking about the new Vermintide. The good game that will come out, not the one you play. Yeah.

Can you say it again? I talked to the same person. Darktide. 40K is in the name. Am I crazy? No? I don't know. Vermintide, Darktide. They probably wouldn't say Darktide twice. You guys showed the trailer I think last time i was on actually we're talking about this or after yeah yeah yeah so it'd be a

fun game too yeah i will enjoy that more than warhammer um total war three honestly because the rinse and repeat and the team aspect of it are really appealing to me like i really like getting in there with uh guys who are good at it and grinding levels and grinding characters and uh you know unlocking new abilities playing that like dice roll of a game where like you're always trying to get better amulets and swords and daggers and such. And it's so hard to get the like maxed out power items. It's very time consuming and it's fun. I'll play the shit out of that when it comes out for sure. Yeah.

I want this game. Same. I'm showing it in people now. It'll be a good streaming. It looks fucking cool. It's coming from a great studio. The fat shark people. We all liked vermin tight a ton.

Everything points toward it being a great fucking game i hope it's popular too i hope it's popular on twitch i hope it's popular uh yeah everywhere i hope people like it do you think uh you'll bounce back start streaming again on twitch anytime soon blame truth or are you kind of solid now i've thought about it, but my plan is to probably write out the year just shitting on Call of Duty every now and then, getting some sponsorship money. I've invested a lot in crypto. And with the way it's going by this time next year, if we're still in like a bull market and it's bull running uh i can probably just kind of retire at that point and then i might just do twitch like once a month as a fun thing i don't know yeah that's that's wishful thinking but i don't like it looks like kyle said i don't dabble

i'm just i wake up and i'm like i'm gonna do this and then i fucking do it and i might decide to get fat again who knows i might become a really in-shape fat boxer. I don't know. We'll see. Go on permanent bulk mode. Butterbean. Trust me. No drawbacks. Cheez-Its were on sale. It was like two for four dollars.

Like two things for four dollars. What was that word? Cheez-Its? Cheez-Its. That is... Taylor likes those. Yeah, I thought of Taylor because I was like, I'm stocking up on I bought like 12 boxes. This is a deal. This is a good deal.

You're losing money. And like the problem with snacks like Cheez-Its and Goldfish is they are essentially free. It's like you can get pounds of them for like three dollars like getting it like a little chicken cutlet is the same cost as two full pounds of cheez-its and you can eat cheez-its for you know you can eat a two pound box of cheez-its over the

course of like 20-25 minutes and enjoy it the whole time you know what might be like like a little in- between thing from you for you is you can crush the cheez-its take your chicken breast leg wash and then roll it in the cheez-it power already done already done that and then like air fry it and you've got like cheese a chicken yeah i've already done that it's delicious do it i'll do the extra toasty kind i like that it is hard to eat for 25 minutes and still have a calorie deficit like i haven't really figured that out there are good foods where you can still have a calorie deficit there like you can even fill up maybe but i can't i like the ufc fight

was my first calorie surplus in in a couple of months and uh i like how do you eat for just like what do you nibble on that doesn't add up so i think i brought this up and i don't know i don't think you like them this way but sunflower seeds in the shell you can honestly because it slows you down and just either like the original kind or like i think the kind that like has ranch powder on it's really good ranch flavoring and it's just an enormous amount of salt and like the entire container is 400 calories of all the shells and everything and you will not if you started that at the beginning of like the ufc fight you would maybe be halfway through by the end like that's an entire time and you that's actually that's actually genius because you spend more time almost getting

the food out and then it's so salty you're drinking can you do the thing where you put like a handful in your cheek and then one by one split it spit it yep yeah that's what i do and it's like and you before you eat the entire bag you will get so much salt in your mouth that like your tongue is raw like you'll have to stop from like the war of attrition that the salt is waging on your sides of your mouth yeah like if you eat way too many lays you know what i mean like maybe i'll try that i baby carrots are good too that i think they're just regular carrots they shave into baby sizes but um they're not bad for you can eat kyle you're muted you can eat a lot of baby carrots and uh they don't really add up too much yeah it's actually the ugly carrots it's the ones that that they couldn't like throw out there to like be a whole carrot and so they're

they shaved them down to those baby carrots yeah they wanted to be a carrot they wanted to be a carrot but they were that character from goonies exactly yeah yeah the baby carrots are fucking awful though like really you don't like them i despise the flavor of baby carrots there's nothing you can dip a baby carrot in that'll make it appealing to me it's just a slightly sweeter carrot you cook good have you tried i mean big carrots too oh yeah they're cooked they're good because they caramelize a little bit yeah i can yeah like in soup or something like that yeah i want some carrots in there but like the idea of like getting a big bag of baby carrots out and be like ah it's game night yeah that is a depressing thought but like

you know it it lets you munch at least i'd rather not munch honestly or maybe like like like these jellos that are five calories each like you could you can eat you can eat 10 of them. See, you need to be careful with sugar-free stuff, though, because you will get the liquid shits. I know from experience. I have those, Kyle. Mine are 10 calories, but let's call them in the same family. And, you know, you have

two, and you're like, I didn't actually have anything. It felt like, I don't know, it's like if you offer me a shot of water. What are you, here's a shot of water like well yeah yeah after serving is for me i ate i didn't eat you can't fool me this isn't a trick i'm saying everything backwards but but i'm trying to say if i have a jello afterwards i I'm just right where I started. A serving is four of them. Amnesia. It's like walking by a restaurant.

They're a dollar. I think I paid more. Mine are actually... At the grocery store, they have the Jell-O is the name brand one, obviously. These are juicy gels. They're like the B team. But the C team doesn't even come in a

four pack they take a piece of cardboard they put a dozen jello packs on it and then they wrap it all in cellophane and they sell the whole thing for two dollars damn no i got some sort of like jello value pack sugar-free yeah you can get that white trash shit that you wouldn't want to show up with it on the playground for fear of getting mocked yeah what were some of the things that would get you made fun of in uh in elementary school if you didn't have the the real brand like if you show up with like a fucking like sam's love cola yeah dude no dr thunder the off-brand dr pepper uh walmart dr pepper. Walmart brand anything, like Walmart shoes instead of like Nikes. Oh, you show up with Shaquille O'Neal shoes, those Walmart shoes.

Did Shaquille O'Neal have Walmart shoes? Yeah, yeah, and he's very proud of them. I saw a post of him like a couple days ago. He's like, you make fun of my shoes all you want. I've sold 120 million pairs of these things to underprivileged kids. And it's like, yeah yeah because they're priced low like yeah jordan's are like 200 bucks or something that's a great idea for i didn't know shack did that yeah that's that's kind of neat like yeah like look i made my people can afford my shoes t's all you want like yeah people don't get shot over shacks that's true I didn't know shacks were cheap.

Yeah, they sell them at Walmart. I'm trying to think of brands or stuff you would get made fun of for in grade school. You'd get made fun of for stupid shit in grade school. If someone else got an awesome dessert and your mom didn't pack you dessert, they'd be like, oh, hi, you're a loser. Oh, if your mom

ever wrote a nice note to you in your your lunch bag or like i love you or something you're like look at this kid his mom loves him no no my mom fucking did my mom had this terrible habit of writing my full fucking name on everything that would go i think she thought i was gonna get mugged or something every day and they're gonna steal my shit and they're gonna sell in the black market um but yeah she had this awful habit of fucking writing my name on everything i never got made fun of for it but i would just scribble it out or like draw like a dick over it or something just because i thought it was lame i don't know i always had uh i always had stuff i never had

like the bargain bin stuff like my parents are always good about that my mom knew uh you know she taught school so she knew how it could be so like i was always getting like nice clothes and stuff and like for snacks like you know they just send me to school with two dollars worth of change so i could have my funyuns and mountain dew or whatever yeah Yeah. You know, in kindergarten, what I did have that was super cool. Let me find this. Here it is. I had this exact lunchbox

and everybody in kindergarten was like, what? No way. Oh, shit. Yeah. That was the coolest thing I had in kindergarten and first grade. A brown paper bag for you.

No. Yeah. No. And I would never, you know, I A brown paper bag for you. No. And I would never, you know, I never lost it because it was so cool. For those who can't see it, it looks like a guppy with like the big fucking mouth and the mouth unzips. It has eyes. Yeah. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, it's got big old eyes.

You can fit, you know, almost enough food for an eight-year-old in there. More aesthetic than it is anything else. That is the coolest lunchbox I've ever seen. Everybody at my table kind of either had those generic ones that would keep your shit cold, like those kind of portable cooler types, or they'd have some really fucking badass tin tin one with like a cool design on it shit i'm trying to find this it's a it's a shirt an insect shirt where you could take

the bugs off and put them back on like a little button trying to find it i'm trying to find my lunchbox but it doesn't exist it wasn't one of the standard ones that like have comic books on them and shit it was uh it was this big heavy plastic thing with a handle that kept everything like ice cold yeah that's kind of the one i had it was like a portable little freezer or cooler type thing yeah i liked it a lot because yeah mom mom would like pack a soda in there and it would still be cold and oh yeah it would like keep my like turkey sandwich cold too in there and it would still be cold and oh yeah it would like keep my like turkey sandwich cold too of course back then i don't even know how to find this i'm just gonna find something else for what i need to show so like my my really cool outfit that i wore to my first day of

kindergarten there's a picture of me i need to find i think it's at my it might be my basement now probably at my grandparents house i'm standing, my goofy ass first day of kindergarten. I got my fish lunchbox and I'm wearing like what I think is the coolest shirt ever. I got my Harry Potter glasses on, perfectly round frames, Harry Potter glasses, hair, widow's peak all over the place. And my shirt, it was like types of insects. I was really into bugs at the time. And it was like a dozen different toy bugs buttoned onto my shirt like

because the shirt had buttons on it and so like it'd be a cricket that just snapped into your shirt so a bunch of like effectively toys dangling off the front of your shirt and you like pop them off and damn it was i felt so fly walking into my first day with my, with my fish lunchbox and my removable insect shirt. Um, it was great. It was, that is, I got,

I got in trouble on my first day of kindergarten for saying penis, uh, which apparently was a no, no word. No, she took me out in the hallway. Uh, she said,

don't say that anymore, Taylor. And I said, what penis? And she said, yes, don't say that anymore. And then that's also that it was either that day or early that week that that's when I did the big boys do what they

want, where I went to the bathroom alone and I pissed all over the stall, all over the sink, all over everything. And I was just kept thinking like, huh, you can't tell me what to do. Big boys do what they want. And yeah, kindergarten really eventful. That is, that sounds like the most you thing you could ever do is just being told not to say penis and then pissing everywhere. All over the bathroom. I don't do that anymore. I stopped that around middle school. I stopped that around last year. We'll be back in a minute.

But like for, I just put a picture in there. This is one of those examples of like oh one kid's parents not like like fucking being with it so this is for the school play we're we're doing beauty and the beast yeah and uh and from left to right you've got i won't use the real names but uh the girl in the gold dress is obviously bell she was the most popular prettiest girl in elementary school yeah And then one over is, um, a less popular and pretty girl.

And she's, she's just wearing a pink dress. I don't know who the fuck she's supposed to be. Um, the far end is me. I am a Lumiere, the, uh,

the candlestick. And that's my buddy there. He's clocks worth, uh, or what cods worth. I think, you know, he's the clock.

And then there's tigger you know what did they think he was like like clearly we're doing and he's just and this kid's parents sent her to school as tigger and it's like, we're doing a play. This isn't just Halloween. This is a play that we practiced for. To parents, I feel like everything that a kid likes is all

combined into one thing. Did your guys' moms ever come in or dads ever come into your room while you're playing PlayStation and they'll say, cut off the Nintendo. Everything is is the nintendo yeah quit playing pokemons yeah or pokeman it's it's basically that like beauty and the beast huh like here you go and it's tigger yeah so now the poor producer of that children's play now we gotta ride tigger into the second house. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Tiger doesn't belong there. I would love to...

It sounds like an Always Sunny plot or something. Which one are you in, Kyle? What's that, Woody? Are you in this? Yeah, yeah. I am Lumiere, the candlestick on the end. I can tell immediately which one you are. Yeah, same. Give me a second to make it right

size, flip it around, etc. I don't know how to make it right size flip it around etc etc I don't know how to flip it so I'm looking like this yeah I was like kind of turned I didn't even notice how badly uh the Tigger costume was out of place I thought you were going to be insulting the guy in the box with the clock

but then it's like no at least he's on the same page at least he's a you know if he fits the theme and it's hard to do a clock right like like like i think it's pretty good i think it's good yeah that's the best you could hope for it's like this is like third grade i think the tiger from winnie the pooh not helpful yeah i think we're like seven to nine years old here probably eight it's not bad i need to find more ridiculous photos of me as a kid to share on the show that'd be funny make the whole show just uh every guest shares ridiculous photos just to walk down memory lane for everyone yep everyone accidentally showing pictures with addresses and personal information in the back years ago i, I was like, I think I was like 15.

I took that picture of me and tighty-whities flexing, and I hadn't even hit puberty yet. I think I should just use that as my before picture. Do the same one with the same blacked out midsection. Man, he got so much taller. He's doing his leg lengthenings. Oh, there's little you. What is that?

What is that hat? Is it a Henry Lever action little thing? I have no idea what that hat is, man. It's a hunter's hat, right? It's orange, safety orange on purpose, right? Maybe. Maybe. Skipper. I look like Gilligan. hat is man it's a hunter's hat right it's orange safety orange on purpose right maybe maybe skipper you're i look like gilligan i was gonna go with gilligan yeah you're a hunter ready gilligan that's it you're not you look good kyle yeah yeah cute little fucker shame what little fucker

yeah that's like my my fucking Gilligan hat. I've got bunches of them on here of me with that fucking Red Ryder BB gun. Is that what that is? That looks like a shotgun next to you. Yeah, it's a Red Ryder. Well, you know, I'm either three or four there. Well, I'm three. It looks huge.

It's pretty big. How thick that barrel is. He can't get his fingers around it. I mean, I'm two feet long there. Look at the doorknob. Right there. It's like one of those 4chan pictures where they draw, you know, geometry to show how short Kyle was at three.

Yeah, we should do that. Wow. Kyle was a fucking manlet in 1992. That's like 1989. Yeah, I wasn't even around yet. I was way taller than both of you. Fair enough. Yeah, you won by default.

I kicked your ass. You were armed. I wasn't, so you got that going for you. I've only had one shot. Yeah, I was dangerous with that fucking red rider. That was my favorite toy. What was the most you ever got in trouble with it? Oh, yeah.

Dad was working under the hood of the truck once and I just shot the side window out while he was working on it. For no reason. Just shot the side. Huh? You were a kid. that's the reason just curious when i just complimented his gun safety i take it back now irresponsible what kind of three-year-old shoots recklessly like that i don't know it doesn't make any sense i remember uh i got flipped off the back of a four-wheeler when i was like four by my two-year-old younger brother because like they just left i was in like some seat on the back of a four wheeler when I was like four by my two year old younger brother, because like they just left,

I was in like some seat on the back and my grandpa was going to have him sit in front of them. And like, you know how, you know, you sit on the four wheeler. So like they had like one seat on the back that I was strapped into. And then my younger brother is going to sit in his lap on the front.

And he got up to like grab a drink or something. And my youngest brother, like at two did like his first motor movement ever and like gunned it and i flipped off the back and hit my head and uh cried like a bitch cried like a bitch about it i was so scared uh i demanded that he not be allowed to be on with me anymore and it worked it worked they bought a different four-wheeler and it was like nice why'd you get a separate one we're we're four and two you know you're really planning for the future here but they did we had those four-wheelers all throughout our childhood it was great how big were they uh it was just funny because you could see them get bigger i don't know the

cc stuff but like uh you could see them get bigger as we got older it's like the initial one was very small and it was governed down with like a screw so you couldn't go too quick by the end like the one that he had that we rode in the end we were like teenagers was like for the farm work it was like a not like a polaris with the the big back part or a gator look at thing just like a really nice polaris four-wheeler atv and that thing would go so goddamn fast because he didn't put a governor on it was it four four wheel drive that one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They even the crappy little almost four wheel drive because it was

so muddy and and ways to get stuck that you had to. You wanted it. OK. Yeah. That was a bunch of fun. I wanted stuff like that so bad. Really? I wanted so much. My parents would. It was always a non starter ATV dirt bike.

You call a motorcycle a dirt bike right i don't know what they call a motocross bike but anyway yeah i wanted one so much so much i still i might get one i was on craigslist looking at them today today i was like you know i could just have it dude you could build it and you could build yourself a motocross fucking course in your backyard with some mounds to jump over. You could start with them small. You could make a little three-foot jump and just build it up with your tractor. The mechanic was the guy who helped me with my

beamer. He loaded up and stuff. He was like, as soon as you want to put a motocross track in here, you let me know. We'll do it. Dude, that would be super tempting for me. I never wanted a dirt bike because my cousin got one at an early age he was always into motorcycles and i was into atvs and he never wore safety gear and once he like spilled off of it and the exhaust pipe burnt his calf really bad like really bad and and i saw that and i was like never never am i getting on that like my four-wheeler does not

burn me like like i've been thrown off atvs four-wheelers but like i survived and i didn't get burnt like i don't like getting burnt my friends had them so i could borrow them and ride a little bit but my buddy would do big jumps and like they seemed huge to me. He would go the length of a motorcycle, maybe 10 links. Like, like it just seemed like a really big jump to me. And, uh, but he's, it was nothing to him. Yeah. All the time. I would hit some super big jumps on my four wheeler.

Cause like, like my dad's place has all these like little hills you can jump. Like, like they do it to like prevent erosion, but there's jumps everywhere and i'd hit them faster and faster and faster and faster and uh and then that made me think i should do that in my truck so then like but when i was 16 or 17 like i was jumping railroad crossings oh my god we get so much air off the railroad crossing i'd get those things going like fast like 50 to 60 miles per hour and we would fly like it was so dangerous we could have died so easy if that thing comes down wrong this is the ramp that is the railroad crossing right like yeah like the roads the roads kind of flat and then there's this big hump where the where the train tracks cross and i'd hit that

thing going fast as hell like my tacoma has aftermarket suspension and i would do that with the kids in the car colin and i would catch air my f-150 did not we went to get it realigned and the guy was like what'd you do drive this thing through the fucking grand canyon what is this i was like yeah it's pulling a little to the left i guess so good god like it's just way off like tires just always facing off taco landed pretty soft like it was it did it was nice it felt in control i didn't feel like i was uh you know could have died like you described it was just like you'd float and then it would land uh i'm to exaggerate like it's not like one of those baja trucks but yeah yeah it just landed

but it's got some suspension my truck did did not. It was an F-150 Lightning. It was not made for that kind of shit. It was made for... That's a cool truck, though. It was a cool truck. Yeah, I liked it a lot. I drove that for several years. Yeah. It was fast. It sounded good. If people don't know, like, you might know the F-150 Raptor, which is

like a specialized off-road souped up from the factory F-150. The Lightning lightning was that but more of a race car f-150 yeah it was slick it was it was way too fast for i shouldn't have had it like like like it was it was dangerous you were a new driver right yeah also like i feel like there's a take away whatever skill you may or may not have had you can't give a teenager something that specializes in go fast right like they will warp their head into thinking every car is a sports car if you give them an actual sports car they think they're supposed to race at least i would

have you know you need to get a kid like me in a station wagon one where it wasn't super dumb looks done i was i wasn't super dumb. It looks dumb. I wasn't super dumb. I remember there was kids in high school that would race, and I always thought they were just idiots. They wanted to race on this really curvy road that I actually knew of. It's a two-lane curvy road that ends in a bridge, and it's like you can't see oncoming traffic,

and y'all are wanting to race your trans ams on this road like what is to be gained by this i don't fucking get it i was like we can look at the specs of these cars and determine whose car is faster then then the only thing is just a question of who's the bigger dumbass and the answer is you guys because there's no fucking way i'm going down there to race on that road we We had a road. I don't even know what it's called. We always just called it the top speed road. And it was two lanes, you know, one each direction. And it was straight. You could see for a long ways.

But the trouble is, like, anyone who lives on the East Coast probably has a road like this. The trees on either side are 200 feet tall. It's filled with wildlife. And that's the dice you're rolling. That, you know, you're going to hit something. It's going to be roadkill in a bad way. Yeah, I feel you. So Blame Truth, you got to roll out.

Yeah, I got to go help my mom with something because it involves technology, and she doesn't know how to do it. We'll have fun with that. Got to cut this one a little short. But thank you guys for having me on. It was always a pleasure. Have a good one. have fun with that. Got to cut this a little short, but thank you guys for having me on. It was always, always a pleasure. Have a good one.

So you're Blame Truth OC. Yeah. Real Blame Truth on YouTube. Just search Blame Truth. You'll find something, maybe a naked picture, maybe my channel.

Who knows? It'll be a surprise. But yeah, I'll see you guys later. Thanks for having me. See you later. So before we jump into the next thing, we're going to hear a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of P.K. is brought to you by a company we know and love, Postmates.

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Get yourself some SmartMouth. Get yourself some Postmates. Maybe you get some delicious oniony, garlicky food off Postmates. Yum, yum, yum. Makes your breath smell, though. Need that smart mouth to wrap it up. So there you go. We like to tie them together. We like to really stretch and tie those together. So that is our current event. Biden has said that every American will be able to get the vaccine on May 1st.

Like, you know how now you have to be like 70 years old in a nursing home, working a cash register as a ER nurse or whatever. On May 1st, literally no qualifications. They just give it away. And in my area, they're doing it now. Like I saw a few hours too late, but they but they're like hey we won't turn anyone away these are the list of people that are supposed to come and they come and everyone's like no questions asked no questions asked they're just serving anyone who goes there now thing went from

like 10 to 2 p.m and i'm reading this at 4 p.m but uh next one i think i can just go get it sweet yeah my dad got his he said uh said he got a little stuff he knows other than that he's all good um he's super excited to be able to get back to like socializing and dating and playing poker and like like he's a real personable guy like like he likes to like pal around with his buddies and like go out with friends and like you know do stuff he likes to play in those live poker games where there's like 12 people around the table and everybody's sipping on a beer and smoking cigars and stuff and it's like you can't fucking do that in the age of covid right like it's you can't everybody likes stuff like that it's fun hanging out with your friends yeah yeah i'm. I'm the same way. Like, um, again,

I don't want to say when or where I'm going, but, uh, in a week or two, I'm going to the casino with a couple of the $50 patrons. Uh, they're, uh, they're flying in and we're going on a little vacation for a couple of days. And, uh, you know, you gotta wear a mask. I mean, not, it's not like the mass thing is going to change when I get vaccinated, but I'll be glad when the mass thing is going to change when i get vaccinated but i'll be glad when the mass thing is gone right like like you think it'll ever go away yeah eventually like like texas already opened up which is obviously premature and makes them look foolish and

places like austin that are like no no no no we're not doing that are the ones who come out looking smart but i mean like even if they like because the like companies like walmart and shit are still going to be like well yeah you whatever dallas people but you still got to wear it here and so like in that way it's like for all intents and purposes you know they're still wearing it if they want to go to walmart and shop but even in walmart what i've noticed in my area anyway like like there's a guy at the door who's like yeah put your mask on you put it on and you go in and then 25 of the people who are in there have taken their masks back off that is so funny like when you guys say that like i guess because i'm

in the part of missouri that is a city like i have not seen a single incident regarding a mask the entire time like i haven't seen an employee in anything restaurant whatever have to be like put your mask back on like everybody just you know the worst that'll happen is someone like stands up like i've had it happen where like i'm at a restaurant and like he just unthinkingly stand up and you start walking in the bathroom it's like hey you have a mask oh yeah my bad dude i'm sorry about that yeah what i see a lot the no nose wearing i i could be projecting the wrong thing but i i see it as a protest mask wearing like you know exactly what you're doing it's hardly covering your upper lip you are just

putting a fucking chin strap on being like alright if you say so suck a dick but I'll do this much but then when I saw like I had never worn glasses with the mask until like a month or two ago and then I did and I'm like walking around and it's like well fuck like I can't

see through my fog and this is unusable like it was like this is annoying you have to like look through the sides of your glasses so there are a few masks that prevent that because uh we talked about it earlier this week but like i like to wear my sunglasses anytime i'm outside the house like all the fucking time like i would wear them here like right now if i didn't look like such a fucking douchebag like i'm not trying i don't it's not like oh yeah look how cool i am with my shades it's like light hurts my eyes and like there's a fan going right now like my eyes dry out like i'm continuously putting eye drops in like i've got those roto reds like my eyes are always hurting so like going to the casino and i'm like i want to wear my sunglasses not Not only because if I'm in a big pot,

what was that line from Scarface? He's like, the eyes. The eyes always tell the truth. There's no lie in your eyes, Tony, or something like that. I'm worried there's going to be some lie in my eyes. Somebody's going to see my eyes like, woohoo, he's king. And I'm just like, give something away. So I like to wear sunglasses at the poker table anyway sunglasses plus a mask at the poker table is like cheating anything on your face can't see anything it's just my forehead and i might wear a hoodie too just completely like you double

mask except the other ones up here above your glasses just put a bag over my head at that point but yeah like i started looking because whenever i'm in the grocery store and i've got my sunglasses on my mask on it's fogging up the whole time and i'm like pinching my nose to like let him cool like defog or i'm taking them off and blowing them and stuff and i found a couple of mask options that will prevent glasses from fogging one of them is super lame and it won't work for us because we have facial hair but it has this brit nose bridge that sort of extends across the cheeks and glues to your face now i know that sounds insanity but it's not like super glue it's just a little adhesive it's like can you see it i don't like that no you can't the mask the mask goes over it it's under the mask and the mask is

attached to it and it makes this airtight seal around your eyes and your nose i didn't like that idea it seems uncomfortable i felt like because i'm gonna be wearing eight hours straight and stuff like that it's like i don't want to take it off and it's broken my skin out or something i don't need that um uh one of my friends sent me a uh said he or accidentally ordered like a whole six pack of masks today and he's got the one that's like like the reverse shamag or whatever it's like that big neck neckerchief that like pulls up and when you're not wearing it it's sort of like bunched up around your neck oh yeah uh and then i ordered um i ordered one that promises not to fog up uh glasses too because it makes a really good seal again it comes up a little higher like like almost to the bottom of your orbital in the bottom,

but it's also supposed to prevent fogging. And if all of that fails, I also got some anti-fogging spray to put on the inside of my sunglasses. I just need some of that, I guess. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. When mine fogs up,

I don't know if Woody's glasses are like this, they don't go unfogged. Now they're dirty, and I have to take them off and wipe them down because like once scuba divers and paintball players do just spray it spit in it

spit works that's what swimmers do you lick the inside of your goggles and then it doesn't fog I'm not going to do that in the middle of a restaurant or a store though that's gross oh come on be a man lick my glasses in the middle of a restaurant or a store though. Oh, come on. Be a man. Lick my glasses. Yeah, I don't actually wear glasses all day. I don't have this problem.

Yeah, I don't know. I wear a mask. It's no big deal. I actually feel a little... I like a mask. I like the excuse to just be that much more incognito and it doesn't bother me at all i don't mind it i don't mind it um very much at all uh it's really just the the glass is fogging up you're if you don't use your smart mouth you're aware right away i'll say that because you're in this self-contained breathing thing you're like oh

fuck i messed up today. Onions for breakfast and no smart mouth. This was a bad combination. My fried liver lunch is really coming back to bite me. Why did I do liverwurst bagels? It will be nice. Hopefully they'll eventually get to the point where it's contained enough that you can just not have to wear a mask at all anywhere.

Because I do prefer that. Having a society where everybody's kind of out and like people are talking like i don't know it's like an additional wall in between people and like i don't really like that i agree well i'm on the other side no i i like the wall i think the walls may be the perfect sorry i cut y'all maybe it's like the perfect description i just like a little wall i like to walk around uh buying gas and uh have a wall i'm a little indifferent like there are times when i really appreciate it like i feel like like sometimes i just like roll out of bed and go to do like errands and i feel like i like i just like look look like shit like my hair's all fucked up and i'm just like yeah i'm wearing a mask anyway i'm literally wearing a mask i don't care what i look like

but then there's sometimes where it's like man i mask. I don't care what I look like. But then there's sometimes where it's like, man, I don't want to put this fucking thing on. Or what it really is, the really annoying thing is if I forget it at home. Sometimes I'll put it like, if I'm wearing this jacket, I'll put it in the small breast pocket of this. And then I'll take this off and hang it up. Then go out and I'm like, I don't have a fucking mask. I got to go all the way back home.

Like that's the annoying part of mask wearing. It's when I forget it. I forget what I was doing. Putting it on. I don't feel like I'm like, like a bootlicker or some sort of conspiracy theorist. I feel like I'm just, well, no, just, just getting on board with keeping everybody fucking safe. And the people who do that nose mask thing like i guess if it was at the gym i wouldn't care at all like if you're not wearing a mask at the gym it's like

all right i feel like everybody here understands that what's at stake we're doing something that that the mask is going to have a negative influence on i'm not looking for any altitude training today okay yeah no mask if you want to wear one that's fine but i'm not but at the grocery store put your fucking mask on while you're shopping for celery. There are people in my world who are like, the mask doesn't impact your breathing at all. And I forget what I was doing, but it was something where I needed a mask and it was

some level of exertion. Minor leak, right? It wasn't running. Maybe I was carrying heavy shit or whatever. And like, you know what? It does have an impact on your breathing. Don't tell me it doesn't it wouldn't work as a mask would it it really now i can i can make my mask like it has a piece of metal so it sort of forms to my nose i can bend that wrong and have giant gaps and shit like that where

it doesn't do anything it doesn't do very much but by and large it impacts your breathing so if you're doing something that's exerting at all like i get it a little bit and like yeah and at the gym it's like okay so like someone next to you is like really exerting themselves on the elliptical and you're on the thing next to him and it's like well now you're hitting me with your side your side stream i'm with kyle like if you're in the gym doing ellipticals then you've made a decision that you're hitting me with your side, your side stream. I'm with Kyle. Like if you're in the gym doing ellipticals, then you've made a decision that you're in this together. You've made a conscious decision. If you're at target buying Kleenex, then you haven't decided to accept that same level of risk, right?

You didn't, you didn't, you didn't sign up for that. Yeah, I agree completely with myself, I guess. I always agree you know i know they do that thing in gyms where like every other elliptical is turned off they're just putting signs on them so it's like nobody's like rub literally rubbing shoulders with it with each other on on cardio machines or anything and uh look if i was gonna have to share air with anybody i'd want it to be some gym bros right some people who are actually healthy you know like they're literally there looking out for their health. I got to imagine that they're probably wearing the mask outside here. They're probably pretty healthy people in general.

I don't know. Well, healthy in the general population. They're at the gym. Right, and they're more inclined to maybe skip the gym if they have symptoms, right? Whereas you might drag yourself to Target, but you wouldn't drag yourself to the gym if you're sick, maybe, probably. I don't know. Yeah, I agree. I agree with all that. But, uh, but yeah, I, when I'm at the grocery store and I see someone not wearing it or even if they're not wearing it, I can sort of like make excuses for them in my head. Like, cause I've, I've gone to the grocery store without mine. Usually after hours, like, like if I'm going into Walmart at like 2 AM,

cause I'm like out of milk or something like that. It's like, I don't need a mask. Nobody's fucking here. I'm by myself. It's me and the checkout lady and I'll hold my breath. But like in the middle of the day, if they don't have it,

I can sort of like make that excuse for them. Like maybe they forgot it, but if, when they've got it under their nose, it's like, you're, you're being willfully a piece of shit right now like i hate you so fucking much i hate you so fucking much he's not wrong

even worse than that because like that could be ignorance and i can always forgive ignorance to some degree not as much as i can forgive stupidity but i can forgive a little ignorance i'll forgive all it's when they have a hole cut in there like a fucking walking glory hole when they are then they are making a statement have you seen that in real life yes that is hilarious i so there's just a like a mouthful they cut a big fucking glory hole right in the middle of their fucking face and and like i i i have those imaginary arguments with them in the shower you want me to stick my dick in there you asshole is that what you wanted to do today lose a fight at target

just threatening people at target don't you realize you're making people danger he's like dead on the ground like like because i feel bad for old people especially old people who are still in the workplace specifically like you know maybe like a walmart greeter you know those are usually like guys who are 60 to i don't know 80 fucking years old sometimes they're in wheelchairs and shit and get them off the front line i didn't think about that old elderly because like i've never seen a young greeter right i have those are the uppity cocksuckers the ones that want to check my receipt i will not let you check my receipt when i'm walking out of a walmart you have no fucking authority to check my receipt no i literally say no and i keep fucking rolling you want to follow me outside

we might have a problem do you really say no to the no guy that's hilarious i didn't know that was an option taylor if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything i i can't believe you know what i'm gonna march out of there i swear to god that's where i put my foot down in life like like i oh yeah i'm stealing hundreds of dollars of merchandise in this carpet get real what do you think i brought you think i bagged up all these groceries like when nobody was looking and then like skirted around first of all i know if you think you're gonna get my receipt and item by item go through my fucking shopping cart right now while i'm trying to going to get my receipt and item by item, go through my fucking

shopping cart right now while I'm trying to get to my fucking car and get home. You're out of your goddamn mind. We know we both know that's not going to happen. You're just going to glance at it and be like, yeah, you have a receipt. You're not wasting my time today. I'm going to keep rolling. I literally don't even slow down. I say no.

No. Can I get your receipt, sir? Absolutely not. And I just keep fucking rolling. I turn my back on them. And if they yell at me i just keep fucking rolling i turn my back on them and if they yell at me i keep fucking rolling and if they want to follow me outside they can do it but i'm going to be loading my groceries and if they fucking touch me i'm going back to prison you should tell them that damn it's not illegal to buy 10 pairs of cargo pants from Walmart. That's a Jeff Foxworthy joke, by the way. What you just said, he's like, I think it's something he said to his daughter's boyfriend.

He's like, I just let him know I'm not afraid to go back to prison. It might be Ron White. It might be Ron White. It's either Ron White or Jeff Foxworthy. Just let him know I'm not afraid to go back back to prison yeah he's a he's a ron white's a very funny guy he's the one who always sits up there with his like whiskey or something and his cigar and he's like on his little stool just making observations getting smoking and drinking very rich as fuck well he was part of the blue collar comedy tour right yes i think that well i, I haven't listened.

I remember that was huge when I was a young teenager, and I thought Larry the Cable Guy was so funny, and Ron White, though, was the funniest of that group. I never found Jeff Foxworthy very funny, and I never found Bill Engvall very funny, but yeah, Ron White was a stitch. I agree with you. Before we drift topics too much,

I looked up the legality of receipt checking. And it turns out a shopkeeper only has the privilege to stop someone if they've suspected them of shoplifting. So then, well, what does it take? Can I just suspect everybody? No. These are the things. You have to follow these six steps. See the shoplifter approach your merchandise, select your merchandise, conceal your merchandise, maintain continuous observation of the shoplifter, see the shoplifter fail to pay, and then you must approach the shoplifter outside the store but on store grounds

you have to those are the six steps that it takes to uh detain a suspected shoplifter and check the receipt if they just wanted kyle is within his rights to just say no and walked out walk out um turns out he's in the right so like by those rules you could just rob a retail place blind it seems like i'm not sure i'm not sure because i know they've got um security guys and cameras keeping an eye on you so they might be watching you more than you think you're probably right especially somewhere like walmart where i'm sure they're used to quite a bit of you know loss because of people stealing yeah i don't care for that it's insulting it. It's like, no. You can't check to see if I actually paid for my fucking

groceries. No, you cannot. Do you do that at Costco too? Because they always want to stop you at Costco. No one checks my fucking shit. I won't allow it. You just march by at Costco? You don't even let him give the pen mark of authority so that if the police stop you

you go, no sir. I paid for all the goldfish i don't go to the entire pallet sue me like i don't go to costco but no no one is ever going to be searching my fucking shopping cart to make sure that i paid for my things you're right it is insulting when like they especially like they like move stuff and it's like you you really think very little of me. Like you thought I would steal a bag of spinach by putting it on by tax. You're placing it under spinach smugglers today, you piece of shit. Yeah. Dick.

I like Costco. Costco is great. Is it? I can have I can get delivery from Costco. I do occasionally. Oh, can you get delivery from Costco without needing a membership? Yeah, that's the beauty. Really? How does that fucking work?

They have a membership. Instacart. The Instacart person is a member and they're shopping on your behalf. Kyle's rigged the system. Or Postmates. Don't let Costco find out about this. Postmates is literally a sponsor. Yeah, but that's not part of their... That's not competitive. Okay, I don't know costco find out about postmates is literally a sponsor yeah but post that's that's

not part of their like that's not competitive okay i don't know what i'm doing post makes those restaurants and occasionally convenience stores like like pharmacies and such which is very convenient if you got a cold you don't want to go out they also occasionally do like auto zones which i've always thought is beautiful because like if you need a new carburetor and you can't drive to auto zone what you're either going to uber there buy a carburetor, and Uber back. Or you could Postmate a carburetor. That's a really good idea. Yeah. I know they're bread and butter is like food, obviously.

Right? Like imagine you drain your oil, then you go to put the new stuff in, and it's not the right stuff. What are you going to do? Your car has no oil. You know? Like Postmates. You got to drive carefully.

Don't not follow Taylor's advice. It doesn't matter how carefully you drive, you still need oil. No, if you go really slow. You just gotta keep it in idle all the way to the store. 50 minute no oil

drive. I don't even know what's better. Probably slow, but I don't know. Just have the engine explode quickly so you can go home, I guess. Yeah, that's a really good idea. I didn't know that you didn't need a membership to shop at Costco anymore. Yeah, check out Instacart. It's super convenient. It's not crazy expensive.

It's like $6 or something like that. It'd be like a $3 service fee and a $3 tip on $120 worth of groceries. It's funny that I know how Instacart works really well because I've done things for clients on Instacart, but I've never used it myself.

Ever. I like it. I wish they were a sponsor. Get them on it. It really is a legitimately great service. Sometimes I don't want to go to the fucking grocery store. And sometimes I don't want to drive as far as some of the grocery stores are. Because like I was saying the other day, one of the grocery stores that's available to me on Instacart is 45 minutes away.

And they don't get tipped or paid any extra than if they had gone to the public's that's two minutes away so i can get like these really fancy fucking groceries from um sprouts which is this high-end chain and meats and stuff like that and i'll just bring them to my house when i would never drive that far for groceries public's is pretty nice too they They have good stuff. Okay. I like, in the South, we've got Ingles, which I think is like a step up. And then Trader Joe's is just a money pit. It's just, you go into Trader Joe's,

you're just overspending. Do you have Aldi there? Yeah, yeah. They also deliver them all. Yeah, it's the same exact shit as Trader Joe's. It's just like way cheaper. More European stuff as well. There's some European stuff in there.

Our Aldi is a little small. I'm annoyed that you pay a quarter to get a shopping cart there. It's like, God damn it. You're squeezing me from everywhere. Do you pay or temporarily pay? Yeah, you just put it in there and then you plug it back in and you get the quarter. That's right. That's the thing. It's to keep people from being like shopping cart goblins who leave

it in the middle of the parking lot like a fucking asshole and it's so they don't have to pay a shopping cart guy yeah true and they don't just like pay a bagger person it's like you like you bag your own shit they don't give you bags you have to bring your own stuff that shit so i just had a bunch of slugs made so i'm just leave the cart tipped over on its side in the parking lot leave the slug in the machine like a real spot like a real piece of shit it's funny it's like a meme about like the shopping cart test and it's like it was some like 4chan post this one being like the shopping cart is the ultimate test of whether or not you're a good member of society. Think about it. You have nothing to gain

by returning it. You will not be punished by not returning it. The only thing to keep you returning that cart is because you like to have a bit of order at the place. And so, you know, you're the kind of person who returns the cart knowing that you won't be punished if you don't. You won't be rewarded if you do. You're someone who, you know, you'll function in a society pretty good you're you're a kyle over here where you just say fuck the quarter and you just fire it into someone's tailgate you know across the way he can't you know he doesn't belong in society basically that's right yeah he's a he's a i return the shopping carts to a point like oh you gotta return that's so that's so rude. Sometimes they're,

they're just, they're just out of place. They don't have a like corral anywhere near you. And like, it's either it's, it's just way too far to walk. I'm with Kyle. I think of myself as a good member of society and I returned shopping carts

most of the time, but sometimes I'm like, I don't know. Like if you have a good spot at home Depot, you can return there. You can either walk all the way back to Home Depot with your cart or you senselessly walk just as far away from Home Depot to get the corral. You know how Disney World did that study where they're like, people on average will walk 27 feet before they throw their trash away.

So they make sure that every can is 25 feet apart. So you always, you know, bump into one. If the shopping corral, I guess I'll call it is too far away. Then this is partly your design decision. And I will put the shopping cart in a spot that seems out of the way, but not all the way back. So disappointed in you guys. I'm a job creator, huh? I'm a job creator over here. No, you're saying you're putting it somewhere out of the way. I guarantee you're taking those front two wheels and you're just putting it on an island in the middle of the- That sounds out of the way to me.

That's what you're doing. Hey, that's something though, right? I've seen people just sort of sit it there like the last Jenga block in a fucking tower, ready to roll. As soon as they're driving away, it's starting that downhill fucking roll right into somebody's Mercedes.

Well, I guess it's not as bad as that, but still. What if I just flip it on its side so it can't cause any problem? Taylor, are you telling us to always return it? Or take a step back and drop kick it over

on its side. As like as the guys come to collect it in my car as the guys come into collect it you just look at them and just push it up i i return it as long as it's even within the realm of being convenient like like if it's like if i can see the corral from where i'm standing i'm gonna put it in that corral but i'm not walking all the way across the parking lot and I'm not walking all the way back in the store, usually. Taylor, do you always return the cart? You are over there high and

mighty on top of your marble throne looking down at us as if you've never left a shopping cart anywhere but in the corral. I don't think I've not returned a shopping cart in 15 years. Damn. I'm humbled by your greatness.

I think every time, as an adult, I've used a cart, I've returned it. Taylor's out there collecting other people's carts and returning them. At this point, he's a fucking cart. I've done that. The real thing is I'm just trying to make money. Collecting the fucking carts and returning them at the front for the fucking cash. Can't afford to feed my kitties. When you think about gathering

a cart on the way, I might be a net neutral. Same. Okay, I'll give you guys net neutral. And when I do put them in the corral, I don't just like throw it in there. I'll compress them all together. Even if I remembered a time where

I didn't return the cart i'm in so deep i could never admit it i'm in a rainstorm though that shit ain't getting put anywhere if it's if it's fucking pouring rain or like if it's cold as fuck like legitimately like like sleeting or something that georgia cold i mean you know we all know sometimes it gets to 47 there it's not like i'm not gonna like die on the way but i'm not also not gonna get soaking wet i'm gonna fucking do whatever's convenient to me speaking of snowpiercer do that job by the way that's the thing we're overlooking as if there isn't it a guy whose job it is just to do that. If Taylor, if there were too many tailors, there'd be no job.

That's right. Well, there was made me, he gave me a lot to think about. After a while, they'd have to start paying him. You've been out there for an hour and a half collecting carts. Can,

would you like to talk to HR? I have a topic. Do you guys, you know who Myers Leonard is? you probably heard about him maybe if you don't know the name he's an nba player and i don't know if he was live streaming on twitch or if he was playing with somebody who was live streaming on twitch anyway i think the game was um warzone and uh he got sniped and he just went on this like short anti-semitic thing he called someone a a bike bitch but not bike you know and uh because they were jewish no he doesn't know

the person who sniped him of course he knows nothing about him but the quote was like you know don't snipe me, you kike bitch. Anyway, he's gotten in some hot water. He's suspended by the Miami Heat. He's an NBA player. He got dropped by his two sponsors, which was Origin PC and Scuff Gaming. They dropped him. He's apologizing, but he's not playing in the NBA for some period of time.

I don't know when he'll come back or if. Was he any good? I don't know. I'll look up his stats. If he's good, he'll be back soon. Yeah, I saw the clip. It wasn't directed at a Jewish person. He just said kike in a moment of frustration. He was just mad and trying to be mean?

Yeah, not even to the person who had shot him or whatever it's not like they were listening you know it was just you know um so now he can't play in the nba anymore he's not super good so he played 51 games last season and 61 the season before implying that like you know he gets some time he averaged this year he's averaging about 10 minutes a game and three points per game which is not good he's seven foot one so that's something geez well how how much does he probably i mean the nba salaries are so insane even as a guy who's playing 10 minutes a night what's he probably making 10 million dollars a year something crazy i think the league minimum is 990 000 a year and i would just guess he's not too far from that i don't know really i guess maybe i'm overstating how much a million a year

i imagine that they uh they get paid oh you were talking about hockey games earlier how the fuck do you even i guess you don't know like i want to be able to watch hockey games but i haven't figured it out well oh you're right he makes 10 million a year i'm sorry four year 41 million dollar contract god damn oh i mean that was a good guess you nailed it yeah yeah so that's hilarious someone who is bottom barrel trash nba play maybe he's not bottom barrel he's making 10 million so he must be one of those guys who's like maybe he's really useful defensively because there are guys like that in the nhl too where it's like you look at their stat sheet and you're like why the fuck is this guy in his 14th year and then you like look at his defensive stats and it's like oh i get it this guy can play in any scenario on any line and be defensively responsible maybe that's how this guy is i don't know but as far

as watching hockey kyle uh maybe i can like add you on to my nhl tv account i could maybe i can add both of you on there so you can watch some games but it's like i don't want to buy 150 pass i want to i want to dabble in watching some hockey games well i'll watch like if both of you want to i'll we did this the other night uh i watched with fish and a couple other guys the blues game on discord i just i streamed it from my PC my NHL TV and we all watched together and it was fun because like obviously some people totally disinterested wanting to talk about

poker and then like but like Dirty and Fish were being very engaged like now why the hell was that a whistle and then what does that mean and explain this what's icing again like that and it was like and it's fun you know the same way that i'm sure like you know chocolate thunder would really enjoy it if i watched basketball with

him and was like asking like good faith like explain this to me explain that like i'm interested in what you're interested in uh so we should do that sometime fish is going on vacation with me he's uh i'm gonna be picking him up from the airport i keep joking that i'm not gonna pick him up just continue to joke and make him really believe it. For your reference, Kyle, ESPN Plus has some hockey games, and they've got Colorado tomorrow night at 9 p.m. All right.

Yeah, they just signed a contract with ESPN, the NHL did, which is great news because they've been on NBC for years, and NBC is a joke joke and it's terrible. And so better highlights on ESPN for hockey will be awesome. Just like having a better aggregate place to find it all. Because even ESPN, I use ESPN.com for all the hockey stats and everything. Because sorry, NHL.com. ESPN.com is just way better. It's just more streamlined for looking at stats.

Wouldn't you know it? They know what they're doing when it comes to sports stats. So yeah, hopefully we'll be able to see some more games there. I'm looking forward to all of the sports guys on ESPN who don't know anything about hockey talking about it. Like Stephen A. Smith, you know who he is. He's hilarious. And even he, like someone tweeted at him and was like,

oh, this uh like let's do that hockey joke from snl with like chance the rapper a few years ago like oh this is going to be stephen a smith when he's getting forced to cover the nhl and he's like yep so true i don't know what the hell's going on in that he's just like he's just i mean i don't want to see it again but the clips of him i see, he's a charismatic, funny dude. He tried to cover MMA, and there's something about MMA. Even the fighters you don't like or you think are bad, there's still a level of respect because they go in an octagon in their underwear, and they literally get into a fist fight

against a trained killer. So you just don't say, this guy sucks like that's not a thing people say you could say he's gonna lose you don't like him or but to act like he's coward anyway steven a smith committed some of those mma sins where he's like this guy blows what the fuck he didn't say that but yeah um so he's one of the most hated people in the mma community they all hate him because he doesn't criticize properly he doesn't know what he's talking about yeah true doesn't always talk about but it was the respect part i think that at least that's what got me and i think it's what i see on the subreddit

yeah that was a big part of it but it's like if you're gonna cover a sport you should really be an expert and i think you should be an ex-player or at least coach or someone who worked in that industry. Like I would have no fucking business covering MMA. Like I watch hours of MMA every week. I go to bloody elbow two or three times a week. I'm really into it. I'm on the MMA subreddit all the time. Always reading up on people and their backstories. I watch most of every single event that comes out. I have no business covering MMA on a professional level. So why the fuck would Stephen A. Smith have any business doing it? I agree. I agree with you. I've heard the argument made like, hey, look, he's a big star. You know, maybe not Stephen A., maybe Justin Bieber's talking about the UFC.

You could apply the same thing you said to Justin Bieber. But on the other side, hey, he might bring attention to the sport. He's doing us a favor. If you're trying to grow the sport, which I'm not, that's a something like, I don't know if you, I'm in paramotors and somehow when you're in like a little fringe sport that

no one gives a fuck about, it's your job to grow it. It's your job. Like if this thing's ever going to take off, you know, that we all have to be ambassador. I don't want other people to do this why is that my job i'm not interested in that but i don't agree with because like paintball was my fringe sport okay i've always felt like i should be the best ambassador

for it as i can like when we would do those events like a big part of why i wanted to do that event like had to do with like growing paintball because I had seen paintball shrink for years. And I hate it because like, I want to be able to go play at a full field. I want the prices. I want there to be enough money for research and development amongst the, the developers of like,

you know, better paint, paint markers and paint balls. And, and I want the sport to grow and get better and yeah they're to be a player base so on it's the flip side for me if more people get into paramotoring then there are more assholes who paramotor more faa starts giving us more rules now we need licenses and inspected aircraft now more farmers fucking hate us for buzzing around.

And if I'm the only guy around who's doing this, then there's not much of a problem created by paramotors. If the whole community's into it, then it's fucking flying weed whackers, making noise, disturbing your peace. I see that. Yeah, that makes sense. That's kind of how like Tannerite was.

You know, it's like, that was a real double-edged sword because on one hand, getting paid a lot of money to promote Tannerite. Was, you know, it's like, um, it was a real double edged sword because on one hand getting paid a lot of money to promote Tanner, right. On the other hand, some people did silly things with Tanner, right. And there, that one guy lost his leg and I ain't got enough people got hurt, but, but like it made, it made, it made like the product looked bad. It made like the idea of shooting the product look bad because he didn't do it the safe way and you could say that i didn't do it the safe way but i those lenses are but

you're luckier you should only do that if you're a lucky person you should only do that if you're getting paid to fucking do it right like i wouldn't have done that shit for ten thousand dollars i will do it for a hundred thousand dollars though like that guy's just out there shooting lawnmowers for the fuck of it but if you there's no way in hell i'd have ever shot that lawnmower for the fuck of it i didn't blow shit up in my spare time i wasn't like hey guys let's dodge some shrapnel it'll be fun it's like no i'm dodging shrapnel because i'm getting paid very well to do it like it wasn't dangerous you brought tannerite to wings' house and just so people know if you put it under a barrel or a lawnmower

there's a big danger if you just have it in like a little plastic jug it's not the same danger it was the first time an explosion ever moved my hair my hair doesn't move can you see my hair move it's a helmet there's a safety layer in this thing but it was like and I

felt it in my hair I was like holy shit firecrackers don't do that but tannerite does. That's one pound. That's a lot. And Kyle's like it's not a lot but I had never felt a pound of tannerite explode and

I feel like I'm exaggerating when I call it a shock wave but it is a shock wave. You feel it. Yeah you feel it on your chest and in my hair. It's just like, thankfully I had this helmet on. It's addictive. That shockwave is an addictive feeling. I really enjoy feeling that shockwave. I always did.

When a big one goes off, like a real big one, like 25 pounds plus, or if it's something a little bit meatier than tannerite or if it's he if it's dynamite or if it's uh some deck cord really doesn't do it but if it's uh if it's c4 or something like that like it's a thump um tannerite's the best at it probably though because it's the low velocity nature of it i think it makes like a a more a thicker shock wave that makes sense like like the shock wave itself isn't this compressed wave it's this wider wave that's moving kind of slow whereas something like c4 is sharp red dot just as cool as tanneray in the red um yeah that that stuff is was like i used to know the math. I want to say nine times more powerful by volume.

Um, so like a pound of that is closer to 10 pounds of Tanner, right. Um, and also like flame sensitive, shock sensitive. I still have some in the safe just in case I'm ever in a home alone scenario.

Yeah. But I'm prepared. He can't rob me. If everything I own is destroyed uh yeah that that stuff was uh like i said i mean it's flame sensitive like like if if if you put a lighter to it once it's mixed it'll blow your hands off um if you if you hit it hard enough with a hammer it'd probably go off i wouldn't want to I wouldn't pour a pile of it on an anvil and smack it with a hammer I wouldn't feel safe doing that

uh and uh it'd be fun to rig that up though yeah that would be cool to see we need to get guys smarter every day you know an anvil with a big sledgehammer on a pendulum type situation you could probably rig something like that up it'd be like a gigantic snap cap

and uh like like cap gun until the sledgehammer comes flying back here i didn't see this coming it would it would come back the other way um yeah but like that stuff was what like i think we set off god i don't remember how much it was now let's call it 15 or 20 pounds with like 10 gallon 10 gallons of fuel on either side of it duct taped up real tight and jeremy uh was like it was like what if this went off and i'm like you'd never fucking know it dude like like we're standing there like wrapping it actively with many rolls of duct tape and it's like you'd never fucking know it neither of us would we would just die instantly if we're lucky right and when it went off, it left a crater.

It left a crater in the ground, a big one. So yeah, that stuff is real powerful. Big shockwaves from that stuff. We set off like a 55-gallon barrel of Tannerite once, and that shockwave broke windows in a building that was a good ways back behind us. Did you guys see that Texas school in trouble for the chivalry thing? Oh, it's kind of interesting.

So the teacher who it seems like she'd be the opposite. Apparently the teacher would be described as a feminist, but the assignment is almost the opposite of what you'd expect from a feminist. She gave out rules for boys and girls. The girls had to dress in a feminine manner to please the men. They had to clean up after the men. Let me see.

They had to address all the men respectfully by title with a lowered head and a curtsy. They couldn't complain or whine. This is the ladies. They had to cook something for the gentlemen in their class. Sweet baked goods are preferable. Ladies must not initiate conversations with males. They had to walk behind men daintily as if their feet were bound. Outside the classroom, ladies cannot show intellectual superiority.

Ladies have to clean up after the men. They must obey all reasonable requests by the men. And they had to bring in root beer, ginger ale, and sparkling cider for the gentleman in the class. So this woman has a being dominated fetish. And is trying to make it into a lesson plan. You must obey all reasonable requests. Right? Is a blood job reasonable?

Yeah, according to her, I bet she's like, Oh, but I must be chivalrous. Or like, I beaten off to King Arthur fan fiction. Uh, it was worded vulgarly. I don't.

So I guess she got suspended by the school. The men had a coat of honor too. I'll go through it real quick. They had to dress in jackets or suit ties. They had to show courtesy and assist ladies. They had to assist ladies to their seats and rise from their seats as they entered the room. All females in the

all females in class and female faculty members will be considered noble women and addressed as m'lady. A gentleman would create a yummy treat of friendship and medieval tradition blah blah blah. Wait, what does that mean? Of coded medieval tradition of coded messages for a lady in his class. If he is a particularly amorous knight, he may bring treats for the other ladies in the

class. The ladies may, of course, share their sweets with this kindly knight. This is weird as shit. When taking a lady out for the evening, the gentleman will pay all expenses. The gentleman will rise when a lady walks in the room. The gentleman should bow when greeting a lady. The gentleman must speak genteely. That is, use appropriate language around ladies.

No profanity or vulgar words. So this was the assignment they gave. You know what would have been clever? If she didn't want to get in trouble, flip the gender roles for week number two. Or for week number one and Mm-hmm. Like, that would have made... Or for week number one, and just never do the other thing. I mean, I could see that. But then what are they learning?

See, this is lots of important things to learn. I mean, it just seems like she's really fucking up from the beginning. Like, this sounds like... It's retardedarded i don't know like like like what if they made the black students like be subservient to the white students to like study fucking slavery like like let's not how about let's not because that's a bad idea they wanted to demonstrate the code of chivalry and standards set in the medieval

concept of courtly love and carry that into the modern day. They wanted to see so the men in our class honestly could see how it really was to be a woman in the 1300s. Fuck that. They should have eaten turkey legs

and watched King Arthur and then moved on. You're going to be very sick and then you'll die in childbirth at 14. I don't know. I have this habit. It might be a bad one where I try to like, I hear something insane and I'm like, oh, how can we make it less insane as if that's the truth? You know, it might just sometimes people are just insane. But I'm like, ah, you know it might just sometimes people are just insane but i'm like ah you know she was just trying to like i don't know bring awareness to how things were and yeah i just don't get what the point a lesson what did what does anyone stand to gain like to like what are you learning oh the men are supposed to pay for everything okay well everybody's heard that ah the women are supposed to pay for everything. Okay. Well, everybody's heard that. Ah, the women are supposed to be, you know,

dainty and feminine and, you know, deferential. Oh, everybody's heard that. Like, it just seems it's a little silly, not a little silly.

Like, how can you be so stupid to not realize you're going to get, you're not going to, to not realize that you're going to get in trouble for this. Like, even if it is like, who really cares? Like she shouldn't get in trouble for this.

If anything, like people should be like, hey, you know, I generally would prefer my kids to be learning something at school. Like this is absolute, like people are mad about the wrong thing. If you want to teach them something outside the curriculum, can you teach them taxes? Teach them about capital gains taxes. That's so much better idea. Teach them how to use Microsoft Excel. And they will enter the world so much more prepared than like memorizing old rules about jackets and ties. If they want to do this shit, they can just go to Cotillion.

You are making some sense. Yeah. Get them learning how taxes is a great thing. It's criminal that they don't teach taxes in high school. Like to at least get your feet under you. I remember the first time I went to pay taxes and it was like, oh, no. I don't even know what to do here. I got to Google how do I pay my taxes? I have heard several people say this thing where like, oh, I turned down that raise or that amount of money.

Cause I didn't want to get kicked into the next tax bracket, which would cost like, they don't know how that works. Yeah. Yes. That's not how that works. And, and I I'm just like,

everyone should know how that works. And it's been that way since before I was born. I was born a long time ago. I feel like if you teach this, it's a pretty durable concept. You know, I know taxes, the rules change a little bit every year, but they're 99% the same every year. Just, yeah. Anyway, teaching taxes, I'm on board with that. Yeah, they need more like actual life advice in high school.

need more like actual life advice in high school less like if it's apparent early on that the kid that you're teaching math that's not in the cards for him or her get get him in something else get him in something else they might be better at there's like you can probably realize like three days in like trigonometry is not johnny's strong suit he's really good at x, Y, Z though. Let's put him in that class. Kyle and I always go to HVAC. I think, I don't know this for sure, but I think that 90% of HVAC is pretty simple. I know the design and stuff is probably pretty sophisticated, but 90% of it is pretty simple. And there's a lot of money there, a ton.

And you get your own business like so simply and easily because like the only chain that i know of is train heating and air like but like if i'm in the yellow pages i just couldn't care less like if i see 24 hour service like you call we're there if you if you just put that on your fucking ad then i'll call mike's fucking hvac every time like i don't give a shit about who it is. If they, if they're like licensed and bonded, you,

you tell us where, and we're right there. Like, like, all right. 24 seven service, like with $50 extra after hours. Like,

yeah, I'm calling that guy. I don't care who it is. And I will pay through the teeth, you know, to, to get air or heat turned back on in a, you know, whenever air or heat turned back on in a you know summer yeah it it's so necessary you pay

whatever uh i so jackie wants a massage chair and i was like i was talking to kyle kyle said don't buy a massage chair buy a massage table and then you can have a masseuse come over, which is a million times better than a chair, for 50 bucks. And she exploded. She's like, what? Kyle's crazy. Kyle and his inexpensive services. He gets someone to take his trash out for $5

and clean his house for 20. There's no way we're finding a masseuse in Raleigh who comes to the house for 50 bucks. And I was like, Kyle does have a knack for that. Kyle always seems to find an inexpensive service provider.

I'm on it. You're on it. You're going to find an inexpensive masseuse in Raleigh? Yep. Who comes to the house? Happy endings for Woody. Oh dear. Yeah, man. Happy endings for Woody. Oh dear. Yeah man, I'm on it. You found my mirror guy.

I did. Made that happen. I was like, I want mirrors. I'm on Amazon looking at mirrors. And Kyle finds a guy in Atlanta who delivers to Raleigh. Got four big mirrors for the gym. Awesome.

Yeah, you needed them. Now I can get you pictures with fucking multi-coverage. All sorts of fucking angles. Put them in the corners and get me from left and right. Coming. I found a couple places already.

I'm trying to find prices. Cause that's the, that's the sticking point. The, uh, the lady that we've had come over, um, is pretty fucking cheap. Like I said, I think it's like 50 bucks and it's like an hour. I think the chair she wants is 3000. Like it's inconceivable that those fifties add up to 3000 ever. Yeah. It's inconceivable that those 50s add up to 3,000 ever. Yeah.

So this person will come to your house. She's an attractive young lady, probably 35 years old. 60 times. And she'll come for $95 an hour. If it's two people, you only save $10. It's $180 for two hours spread across two people, it's you only save $10. It's $180 for two hours spread across two people. And she'll bring her on table. Yeah.

You say it's either 95 for 95. Did you say that? My mistake. Yeah. So for 180 bucks, she'll massage two people an hour each and she'll bring her on table and she'll wear a mask and do all that stuff. That's not 50. It's not 50. And she's frankly not as hot as my lady.

Did you guys see the Trump and fundraising thing? No. This is interesting to me. So there's the RNC, the republican national committee that people don't know kind of the purpose of a political party is to get people from that party elected that's what they do and this isn't even political rnc dnc they do the same thing they try to

massage everything so that the best person wins the primary who has the best chance of beating the democrat and whatever and when you're running as a Republican for whatever position, the Republican National Committee will give money to your campaign so that you can be competitive and win that seat. Cool. Trump is trying to divert donations away from the RNC to Trump's pocket. Basically, there's a name for it. A TNC? No, it's like the Put America First Foundation or something close to that. I could look it up.

But anyway. What? For him to like put in people that he wants or support people that he wants more? There are no limits to what Trump does with this money. Trump's thought process, I should say, what Trump is saying, right? What Trump is saying and the truth are not always the same thing,

but what he's saying is, hey, 17 Republicans voted to impeach me. I don't want any money from my people going to a party that's going to help those 17 people. Never mind there's hundreds who didn't. But he's like, I want control over where this money goes, so give the money to me. I view this much like the YouTubers who raise money for charity by saying, step one, give it to me. And then I will take this money and give it to the charity.

I double promise. Because there's no limit. Trump and give it to the charity. I double promise. Because there's no limit. Trump can put it in his pocket. Trump can give it to his kids. He can do all those things. And Trump isn't known for helping other people win their campaigns. Now he's maybe in a different position now.

He might not even run. I personally think he's going to pretend to run for president, raise a lot of money and keep it. That's what I think Trump's next move. I could see that happening for sure. But, um, that's look,

I'm a little down on Trump. So maybe some people think I'm crazy for, for that idea. But, uh, so you've got this like power struggle between Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump as to where the money really goes. And we'll see. Look,

I like the, the drama, the intrigue around politics as much as the, like it, it has some impact on your life, but I kind of follow it like sports sometimes too. Yeah. So I've been following the marijuana legalization thing.

The, the Dems keep, they're still saying like, yeah, that's on the docket this year. I think that they want to, I think minimum wage is pretty important to them. I think they're trying to get that done. Obviously, the COVID relief bill, I think they might have tagged that along in that. I haven't paid a lot of attention to it. I think maybe it got cut out at the end.

Yeah, it didn't make it through a parliamentary procedure. But yeah, marijuana rescheduling or decriminalization or legalization federally is definitely on their docket for the year. I hope they just do it. I hope it's not another string-along nonsense thing. Yeah, we'll see. A lot of states are adding medical and or rec this year. I think Missouri. Missouri has had medical since, yeah, 18.

I think they're changing something, though, like maybe opening up the medical a little bit more so that like someone like Taylor here who has a high-stress life could get a marijuana card. Is it easy to get a marijuana card in Missouri now, Taylor? Do you have any idea? I don't know. I don't know anybody with a marijuana card. Maybe that implies

it's hard. It might be hard. How do you get a medical card in Missouri? I know Californians who are like, dude, there's ticket booths with fake doctors in them and you just walk up and tell them you're sniffles or something. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's... Epilepsy, glaucoma,

intractable migraines that are unresponsive to other treatments i've had those for so long actually you can get it taylor i can i can walk you through the process no oh but it's a little bit of a process is that it's 25 and like deal with one of these online marijuana doctors and tell them that you have one of these chronic medical conditions that there are no tests for. $25. Do you think they'll haggle with me? I don't think they'll haggle with me. I can go in, oh, I only brought a 10. So what about the dispensary situation, right? Because that matters just as much. If it's kind of not that bad to get a prescription,

I don't know what to call it. Like the license, if you can't just walk up and get it, if there's no... There's a ton of them popping up, I've noticed. Like just driving around, there's a bunch of them. I don't really, for the life of me, I don't remember the name of the store, but it says dispensary.

And so like it's clearly like a realdeal dispensary, not a CBD thing. Because we have these other stores called CBD Kratom, and they just sell CBD and Kratom, but nothing else. These ones are real-deal dispensaries. And I haven't seen any that are actually open yet, but I've seen them under construction and being set up. You can always count on two things when a newly studied open is abnormally high. It looks like you can have four ounces there. You can buy four ounces, which when a newly studied normally high it looks like

you can have four ounces there you can buy four ounces which is a ton a month yeah I think so let me double check that if you need more than four ounces you have to drop it off in your car and go back I think in Florida

it's something like now the only rule is you have to smoke every bit we give you. You can't waste it. It's like you've got to get through four ounces in a month. You're just comatose. In Florida, it's like either an ounce or two every 35 days or something like that. I also saw there's some legislation in Florida right now where the Republicans are trying to limit the amount of THC in their medical marijuana,

which sounds ridiculous. They're trying to limit flower to 10% THC and concentrate to 60. I think it's normal. Uh, the stronger marijuana strains these days, uh, it's not unheard of to see 30% in flower and in the high eighties, low nineties and concentrate,

uh, although 60% concentrate will still knock you on your fucking ass. The question would be how they legislate it. Because I would guess, I would assume that what they're trying to do is to legislate it by milligrams of THC. And therefore you would be able to get sort of a smaller amount of this 60 proof, we'll call it, concentrate. Because of the milligrams of THc that that you would have in there in that concentrate but it's looking like it's that's probably going to fail florida's fairly easy to get one um anxiety is good enough to get a marijuana card in florida and uh i think

it's like as long as you're a florida resident you know or have been for like a month you can get one and it's like uh prices are cheaper than like street prices, you know, like $35 for an eighth or something like that. You've talked about Colorado being a primary destination. If the country went federal, marijuana is legal. Would you open up your like boundaries? No need to move then. Okay.

Yeah. I thought you didn't like Georgia for reasons in addition to the pot loss, but it has its draws to dad, right? Yeah. I, yeah, yeah.

I probably, uh, probably stay right where I am or maybe even Athens, Georgia, something like that. If they, uh, which is kind of a party town,

lots of, uh, you know, lots of colleges there. I don't even know how many universities are in Athens, University of Georgia and Athens Technical, obviously. And, but there's also like a women's nursing college and like, like there's so many students in Athens. Like you drive through like the streets and there's so many bars. You through the streets of athens at like friday night and it's it's like a it's like i don't know it's so many beautiful women who are like 18 to 25 just that's thousands and thousands of them everywhere chapel hill i mean not during covid but chapel hill's like that too like it's literally the streets are clogged with attractive 19 year olds.

Like it's, I don't know, a basketball game lets out or something. There's tens of thousands of them just in the streets, walking back to dorms or something. It's that's what it's like. Yeah. I'm going to go,

uh, probably go to Colorado. I have considered Vegas, um, because it's got basically the same laws, uh, as Colorado with recreational marijuana. But one of those most almost certainly. And I've got I've got I think I've got like 206 days left.

Counting down. Yeah. Yeah. Like 206 days left or something like that. Who's counting? Are you thinking at this point it'll probably go that long? who's counting are you are you thinking at this point it'll probably go that long uh i just got rid of my current legal team and uh i'm gonna i'm gonna hire a new one to uh to because i felt like they were just taking too long to get anything at all done to even get me like a no um so i'm gonna see if somebody else can take a whack at it so again and i know you didn't want to pester them because every pester is like 500 bucks and these guys are a little bit cheaper the you know the criminal defense guy he was like five six hundred dollars an hour um these guys were on the a little bit less than that like maybe a couple hundred dollars an hour but for something like this i feel like i could get a hundred dollar an hour fella to like do six hours worth of work

and get me a yes or no real quick and that's all i fucking want yeah from the research i've done it just seems like I need to talk to my probation officer, see if he's in favor with it, and then file a little paperwork. And that should have been it. Even if it's a no, at least then it's like, alright, I know what to expect. Now it's not hanging over my head.

It might be worth $200 or $600 just to get that locked in. Yeah, it is to me. I've kind of got that next step of my life real well planned out about how I'm going to move and where I'm going to move to and what I'm going to do and all that stuff. So I'm really looking forward to moving ahead

and getting out of this little rut. The Democrats should take on the pot thing. I've said that forever. I keep doing the same thing. It's a popular issue. They're dumb to go after guns. It loses way more votes than it gets. That's where Republicans were with the whole

anti-gay thing. It loses more votes than it gets them. If Democrats just wave the pot flag and said we're the pot party, we're going to legalize this, I think it gets them a lot more votes than they lose yeah well i mean there's got to just be special interests influencing it then because obviously like they know they would rake in tons and tons of votes from young people in particular if they

just went hey they won federal marijuana legalization we're running a million commercials about that you know and that that would be yeah the problem is you got biden being anti and kamala as well. That's a big issue. I don't know. I saw his platform. It was pretty pro. I read it.

Platform aside, what he said is he's against marijuana legalization. Decriminalization doesn't get you anywhere. It's got to be rescheduled completely, made 100% legal for recreational use to really get anywhere. Yeah, exactly. And I'm sure pharmaceutical companies donate a ton. Well, I mean, you know they donate a ton to Republicans and Democrats. And they would probably take a pretty significant hit from SSRIs and stuff.

Kamala has flipped, flopped, and she's flipped again on the issue. What? That's crazy. Because obviously she's infamous for, like, prosecuting marijuana users in her heyday, whatever she was, Attorney General of California, whatever it was. She's very harsh on the top spokespersons. Whatever she was. And then, you know, during the campaign, she's, oh, I'm pro again.

And then now as vice president, oh, I'm with the boss. Yeah. What'd she say? She smoked weed in high school listening to Tupac. And it was like, yeah, he wasn't making music when you were in high school. Well, that weed was strong. I don't know. Yeah, it must have been some real good reef that would have been the perfect excuse like oh man maybe i'm so i was so stoned i didn't realize what

you said decriminalizing doesn't get you anything maybe i don't understand why that is because there's still no access to marijuana it's there's still a black market out there selling weed they just won't send you to jail for it anymore they'll write you a ticket it's okay turning marijuana into like a speeding offense yep it's still a naughty thing they just won't send you to federal court right it needs to be not just decriminalized but legalized for you to be able to the legal supply because we want a store we can walk into like in Colorado and say I want this that and the other and then walk out of there and then smoke in peace at home. Every time you walk into a dispensary

in Colorado like I know you feel the same way Kyle but you walk in there and like every time you're just like man it is so cool I can't believe this is real. I'm at the weed store. I wonder if it'll go in steps. Yeah it's neat. Like you've been in this like black market forever with this stuff.

And it's like, you've got weed. You know where I get some weed. And everyone's like, yeah, I know where you get some weed. And out there, they're like, hey, do you know where you can get some weed? Yeah, right here at Big Jim's Weed Store. Welcome to the extravaganza. Welcome to Big Blunt Mondays. And it's like, oh, holy shit. This is a different kind of experience i'm just making this up but like when gay people got allowed into the

military everyone was like okay he's gonna be allowed in or he's gonna be what are we gonna do how are we gonna do this and step one was don't ask don't tell so you could kind of be in it but that to me there's a parallel between that and decriminalization and then it took like 10 years later and they went to straight up all right you can even say you're gay it's cool now yeah it was like a needless middle yeah i wouldn't sneeze at decriminalization that'd be a huge step forward because it would mean maybe a half step forward yeah yeah yeah you know it's it's it's a better decriminalization it would mean that like you know even if you get caught you're not going to go to fucking prison now or you're not going to go to jail it's not

going to be a complication it's going to be a ticket and like in places where it is decriminalized like that even in florida where they have medical but no rec a lot of the major cities have decriminalized and the ticket size is sometimes like $20. Like if they catch you like smoking weed, it's like, ah, slap on the wrist. You owe me 20. And it's like this joint cost for the toy. Sounds good, dude. It's only a hundred percent fully illegal in six states now idaho wyoming kansas uh tennessee south carolina and alabama that's a bit deceptive because in georgia we have medical um oil available for people who are already dead essentially like you just like i'm joking it's hyperbole but it's like it's literally you have to be like dying of cancer or like so epileptic that you can't even fill out the form or something like

that unless they'll give you like marijuana oil but there's no fucking system in place to to get that oil legally well they don't even have uh georgia qualified as a medical state for that like they still have them in the decriminalized. Yeah. I could be out of date, but New Jersey's like that too. Like not anymore. Oh,

am I out of date? Well, the first step, I do remember this. There was a girl who was like the poster child. She was young, color like 12. And,

uh, she had a condition that couldn't be treated any other way. It might've been horrible epilepsy. And if you, if you saw a video of it, your heart went out to this poor kid. And her parents are like, the only thing that makes her feel better is pot.

We've tried everything. And this is the most effective medicine on earth. And they're like, all right, if you have shaky head, 11 year old disease, you can smoke pot with nobody else. And it's like, well, well thanks if your name is yeah i think the name to strain that strain after that girl i think maybe her name was charlotte and uh and they came up with a strain of weed called charlotte's web it's strong as fuck

charlotte's on i like to think she's the coolest kid in high school now yeah i have fucked up uh i i do remember that was charlotte's web i don't remember if it was strong or fuck as well it's it's uh we always just buy the cheapest fully legal in new jersey fully legal okay okay yeah that just happened i i meant to like bring that up last week as a thing um yeah i saw that i i've been like keeping my finger on the pulse of marijuana legalization stuff across the country and watching missouri do its thing and uh one of the southern states is like bouncing back and forth it's where like 71 percent of the electorate voted for something but then they're like senate is like trying to push back and like just completely deny the will of the people it's like 71 74 percent of your

population wants this and these fucking shithead senators are trying to go back in the other direction. Yeah, Taylor said it's special interest, which is a viable theory. I also wonder if it's partly just out of touch people, right? Even me in my 40s, I kind of get it. I understand where the popular will is. I'm more plugged into young

people than other guys in my age. Hot. But if you're 72 and you're a senator you might not just get it right i think they're given information about it though because they're clued in on you know how popular every other stance is and so like they definitely know like when like kyle was saying like even the southern states saying 71 voted in favor. I saw Missouri 2018, them voting to make it medical here. It won like almost 70%, like 66% said yes. And so like, there definitely are special interests.

Counter example. Joe Biden was telling people how to be better parents. And he suggested that they turn off the TV and play a record during homework time. And he's denial. He's senile. He doesn't know where he is. But I would say that his demo, what is he, mid-70s? There's lots of people in the Senate and the House of Representatives who are just as out of touch.

Yeah, but they're friends. God, I'm glad when those fuckers are dead. That age group is way more against gay stuff than they are against pot. Oh, my God. I don't understand. Those are dead. That age group is way more against gay stuff than they are against pod. And they, I don't understand because there wasn't a huge lobby going against the gay stuff. Like who was against the gay stuff? Like I want gay people to fuck each other with bongs in the street.

Like, like what is your problem? Let's not have street fucking. Let's I'm down for the street. Fuck. I'm worried about the broken glass. Oh, I don't care if you're fucking in the street,

dancing in the street. It's for driving. No. Someone sent me a video a couple days ago. The guy's got a really tall bong, and he cracks three fucking eggs into the bong. And then he burns down like a huge bowl of weed, and without exhaling,

he tips the whole bong up and drinks all three raw eggs and then goes and i was like oh my god that's disgusting that's awesome that's terrible so gross yeah no i if you told me that he somehow cooked the eggs in the process. It'd be so cool. If the fire that burned the pot also fried the eggs, I'm impressed with this bong. I like this. You just need a steel

bottom bong, put it on the stove, turn it on, then you just inhale the hottest hit. Imagine. Superheated air frying your lungs. Am I hot? No no you're dying so yeah i've got no faith in georgia uh you know decriminalize you're legalizing or anything it's it's it's ridiculous but uh but florida um was also a republican state and they've got a pretty legit medical marijuana thing going on down there um

and and it seems like it's, you know, every year we get a couple more states. At this point, it's like two thirds of the United States population lives in a state where it's available in one way or another. It's on, I just checked, it's on the docket to fully legalize in Missouri in 2022. And I think it's going to pass pretty easily.

Number one, like it's popular. And number two, like we're bordering Illinois and Illinois is already fully legal. And like St. Louis is a split city. and number two like we're bordering illinois and illinois is already fully legal and like most like st louis is a split city like it's on the it's in both states and so like what are they doing what are they going to do like you're just going to stop people uh the bridge from missouri to st louis over the mississippi river you're just going to stop everyone like no of course not like people are already abusing that guaranteed you You know, Mexico legalized fully this week.

The entire, I can't believe it wasn't already legal. They are now the world's largest cannabis market. Good for them, man. They got all their pot. They're smoking their pot. They got their full sugar Coke. Having a great time. Kyle, were there dry towns around you?

Yeah. Yeah. I grew up in a dry town. Yeah.yle were there dry towns around you yeah yeah i grew up in a dry town yeah there are no dry counties around a lot more drunk driving deaths in dry counties dry counties is what we have oh i can imagine why like they would have to travel to get their booze yeah yeah travel across county lines half drunk because they want to get more drunk and and more drunk driving gas it's one of those things it's like it's like some puritan is out there like well that serves them right drinking liquor anyone with any common sense is like what are you doing you're an idiot yeah it made sense where i was from so in i lived in a resort town so they wanted families to go there and they made it more attractive to people who weren't there for alcohol by having no alcohol right so if you bring in your

kids to the beach and the boardwalk ocean city's your pick if you're going to have a party then you know wildwood or atlantic city's your pick are you not supposed to drink on any beaches like everybody does but like this is the night time you know this is so at night time if there's bars and people spilling out of bars and doing whatever just a very different scene than a place that literally has no bars yeah that would be cool growing up by the beach i was a big fan very neat yeah all my uh yeah athletics revolved around the water and my sense of direction did too it might have done me

dirty like I always knew where the water was that's east right and everywhere I was it could be two towns over you just know where the water is and how to get home and now I'm in this this omnidirectional area where you do the

fuck is I don't know i mean like so much harder georgia are the same in that way where it's like oh what's over there uh trees what's over there an enormous forest of trees and on the other side behind me enormous forests of trees like that's all that i had that's all that's probably where you played growing up like i just played in the woods constantly yeah uh in the woods or um you know riding atvs a lot in the fields uh you know shooting shit uh just just taking a 22 rifle out and like walking around the whole property and shooting everything i saw just uh you know stuff like that yeah ways to kill time can you believe how much time you killed with like nothing

as a kid like imagining, like it's like, Oh, sometimes I got two screens of stuff happening, but I want to look at a third screen also. And it's like, like back then it's like, you remember that like Woody more than anyone, I'm sure where your parents just be like outside time.

Like, all right. You know, until dinner time, you know, it's, it's noon on a Saturday. You're already in here for way too many hours trying to sneak by watching cartoons and playing pokemon yeah game boy outside until seven right

outside time till seven and it's like i'm not even bothering you your existence is bothering me outside time no i'll be quiet i promise get the fuck outside and hit your brother with a stick. Go play fucking God, what would we play? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We played Dungeons and Dragons a lot when I was a kid. I was super into that. The actual game?

Yeah, with dice and books. How old were you? Twelve. We probably played it wrong. Younger than that too i moved at 12 so from 9 to 12 it's a really complicated game i'm sure we did it wrong yeah in like a tiny little bit but when i did play i was like all in for like the role-playing character just like doing fun stuff and be like all right roll your agility and it's like i don't can you do it for me can you can you choose my agility?

You just tell me when I need to make up the next part of my story. That's what I'm interested in here. Not, not, not the ghoul battling. Yeah. We, we had the books and there were certain charts that, you know, this weapon does this damage and this guy has this much HP and I don't know. We try to play it right. I'm sure we didn't, but, uh, it was fun.

Well, yeah. I don't know we tried to play it right I'm sure we didn't but uh it was fun well yeah if that kind of stuff is your jam you know I guess maybe not that much anymore but you'd probably still like it if you jump back in you'll like magic it's never had any for enough so I would I would go out and blow things up and start fires I like starting fires a lot of fires I like starting fires too I um I joined the Boy Scouts, whatever the youngest age you can is, maybe 10. And there's a troop and then in that troop,

you're a patrol, right? So our troop had two patrols in it and we were the pyro patrol. I swear to God, we were fucking masters at starting fires. We go to this jamboree with hundreds, if not thousands of people.

We, like the six of us, were the best fire starters in the whole thing. We won it every year. We were just about starting fires. That was what we did. And like after school and stuff, I would go behind this recycling plant and start fires. And I'd just start fires on my own all the time. It was freaking, fires were my jam. I love starting fires.

What was your go-to method for starting the fire? Oh, I had a couple. It depended on the materials available, but it was usually a log cabin or a teepee that I would make. And then once you get a good fire cooking, you can just throw things on top of it, keep the spacing right, and it'll grow. Did you ever

figure out how to do the bow with the stick kind of thing? Oh, no. We started with a match and dry leaves. I've never... I still don't think i've ever started with just like a rubbing sticks together i thought that took so long to do and i watched real-time survivor man do it just last night and it took him maybe 15 20 seconds to start a fire like that. He must have had good material. And he's an expert. What I can do. He was like, don't use hardwood.

He's like, lots of people, lots of survival experts say use the hardwood on the top. All you end up doing is creating a cake of the softwood. It takes longer to ignite. It may seem counterintuitive. You want to be rubbing the soft on the soft. That way it gets more powdery and more air gets in there. And it's like, this guy gets like like that's what i like about his tips is like it's not it's all like this is what you might hear and in real life don't fucking he's talking about tree wells

where like you know when snow falls and there's like a big well around a tree people can die falling into those because it's so deep you approach a tree not realizing how much snow there is and it okay. And he was like, every survival book will tell you to explore these and look around for them. That is beyond stupid. Do not just go jumping near trees, trying to explore because you might fall eight feet down and freeze to death in a very unpleasant way.

Uh, it's interesting. I fucking love that show. Yeah. I want to watch you watching it on stream. Yeah. Yeah. We were watching on,

we were like placing bets on it. Like, will he kill an animal? Will he, will he get meat? Will he, uh, when he got sick, we did a bet. Will he throw up? He didn't throw up. I like it. I was, I was lurking in your stream the other night, but you were watching, uh, Gordon Ramsey said his name was a cookie thing. It was boys against girls it seemed. Blue and red. It was and I am getting tired of the blue team getting trashed. Are they the boys? Yeah, the boys team tends to not be as

good as the girls team. It's cooking. It's aggravating. It's girls work. Gordon's really good. He should be on the boys team really. They need some help. He should. He should. I just, I want to see one season where a guy wins.

Come on, please. They mix the teams as they get down. I mean, eventually it's going to be like 6v2. Eventually they do. Where like the two people have to vote to get him off. And like this most recent episode, he did like the thing where he's like, you know, Steve, Nick, why are you both up here? And I'll be like, Steve, give me your jacket. Because we're giving you a blue one you're on the blue team now and it's like they're like oh you got me gordon you fucking got me and every once in a while he'll be

like susan you're gone i'm done with it and the person will sit there and be like is he gonna say back in line and it's like give me your fucking jacket you're gone like he's just like because they're expecting to get fooled around but uh every once in a while he gets you real good with like a woody back in line and it's like oh it's like oh i survived he's just fucking with him at that point there was he was doing like these uh these interviews like one-on-one interviews with every single contestant except for this weird dude. He seems like he's speeding all the time. He was like pacing around the upstairs, the little area, like looking at the phone,

waiting for the call. And Gordon's like in his office, like purposely not calling this guy. Everyone else has been called. And then he calls him and is like, Josh, are you the only one left up there? The guy's like, yeah, do you want me to come down? I'm sorry, chef.

Do you want me to come to your office? He's like, why would I have you come to my office? I've already spoken to everyone. He's like, but you want me to come down? I'm sorry, chef. Do you want me to come to your office? Have you come to my office? I've already spoken to everyone. It's like, but you want me to oh, you do want me to come to your... I've already spoken to everyone, Josh. What are you on about? He's like, get your ass down to the office, Josh.

Jesus. He's just fucking with him. He left him up there the longest to make him think that he got kicked off. Gordon's hilarious. Very funny guy. He's a bit of of a dick and you can tell in scenes where he's like the scallops are fucking raw you moron and like he turns around he's like he's like having fun berating people idiots can't handle scallops and risotto they are bad i wonder if they're like the the the bit I saw something was, Oh,

the, um, it was a pasta. I'm sure he called it by the pasta name and they went to serve it, but it would still break. Yeah. The fuck I, I'm not a chef and my pasta is not that bad.

Exactly. How do you have raw pasta? You're going to send out to customers like that. They clearly panic. Another guy was doing like some sort of lobster gravy or something bisque i don't know what the fuck it was and there was literally no lobster in it he pours the whole thing out onto like a cookie sheet type thing and you can observe that there's no lobster in it and it's like it these are chefs this is incomprehensibly bad how like what is happening here that was the guy the

guy who did that was randy one of our favorites he's a military chef like an army cook and he's actually pretty he doesn't know how to cook he's been on the line about to get kicked off before and like he's not a good salesperson gordon like what do you even belong to be why should you be here and he's like i can't cook most things as good as them but i cook some things real good it's like you're selling yourself so badly and like every single challenge would be like i want you to blow me away with a tuscan original and they'll be like i'm gonna try a tuscan cheeseburger and like uh and one of the challenges that worked out great fucking worked out great everyone was ripping on him like and that fucking idiot randy's making another cheeseburger and like he goes and

serves it to the judges and they're like this looks awful randy your plating is terrible it's just i wouldn't like it if this was served in my restaurant but it is far and away the best tasting thing we've had all day we're giving you five points five out of five it's like damn good for you like going in there confident everybody's got their fancy fruity tootie that was that was the randy episode his peak i'm assuming he's not gonna make it there again but like when he goes in with the the low class burger and dominates it's a really entertaining show and it's fun to watch as a group because you pick up like silly little things that you otherwise wouldn't like bad edits audio wise when they put in like the music or like, you know, if someone's about to fuck up because they put that like tuba walking behind a fat person. It's very, very funny. All the Gordon Ramsay shows are tremendous.

I like it when I catch unnecessary jumps and stuff. I'm like, you know, like, I don't know. He'll talk to you and then he'll like zoom in on his face and he'll say something horribly evil. And I'm like, I don't even know that this is the same conversation. That could have been from a different day that they're editing this together. I view it with extreme suspicion. I think that one of his best things where he like hits, I think it's an Asian woman.

He like slaps the Asian woman on the side of the face with bread. He's like, what are you? It's like an idiot sandwich. That's the best. That's the meme. He's great. And like,

there's a clip of Gordon with his mentor and his mentor is like, Marco Pierre White. Yeah. pierre white is brutal like he tells a story of how like gordon cried a couple times because he screamed at gordon when he was but then you like watch the video of gordon as like the apprentice and he's like perfectly straight perfectly respectful like watching everything that john pierre whatever does like and so you can see from that clip like oh this is why he gets so pissed when people come into his kitchen and they're like i know how to make risotto just fine he's like marco it's marco don't or marco something but like you can see like oh yeah because when gordon was an apprentice learning

he was like shut the fuck up listen mimic exactly what they're doing If you don't know how to do it, ask a question. Have you watched the old little documentary they did on Marco where, I don't know, BBC Two or some shit is there in the restaurant with him, and he just gives them those flat yes, no answers? I haven't seen that, no. Oh, it's so good. You can find it on YouTube. They're like, so when you're making a souffle,

is it very important to source your ingredients locally? And he's chopping like potatoes or something. He's like, yes. And do you find that at dinner service, many of the customers are regulars? Do you see a lot of perhaps famous people? Yes. And then there's like a cut and she's like marco like we're trying to make a tv show punch it up a little bit maybe like he's like what do you want do you want me to cut myself

you want to see me bleed tell me tell me right now i'll cut myself for you tell me would you like to see blood is that what you want just tell me and i'll give you what you want do you want the blood i know for a fact that she had said yes he'd have cut himself like he's he's literally has a personality disorder like and like it becomes very clear that this is an unstable man like when when gordon gordon's whole shtick is like almost like making fun is almost like a Marco impression. I'm sure Gordon is a balanced, hardworking, driven individual. Marco has a personality disorder.

He is sick in the head. It's great to watch. I'll check that out. I love these cooking shows. I want to watch you watch Survivor Man. That, to me, is... Maybe you just don't like that show. Maybe I'm biased watch you watch, um, survivor man. That to me is, I may decide I was like that show. Maybe I'm biased.

Survivor man was fun too. This is, there's always fun bits that pop up. Can you watch, um, can you, I'm sorry. I did the thing.

Can you watch, uh, the thousand pound sisters? Is that in your, uh, yeah, you can. That's not available.

Like, uh, TLC doesn't upload full episodes of it if they did i could watch it on youtube but they only upload clips so i like if i watch thousand pound sisters i could just watch the clips those women are so awful like they're so hideous inside and out the one has so much forehead fat i want to grab that forehead fat and like see how lastest less what's what we're wearing elasticity elastic probably elastic elasticity of her forehead fat intrigues me because i'm wondering if i could pop and i want to puncture it and see if i can squeeze it like

a pimple i i bet that like what comes out would be delicious on popcorn. I would take that bet. I think it's terrible on popcorn. Mexican sugar. Yeah. Mexican sugar. I bet if you poked to the middle of her forehead, it would just stay indented. For a while. Remember Boogie's leg did that? Yeah, because he had lymphedema, I think it is.

Where a bunch of food collects and it indents weird. Wonder how he's doing.'s that boogie boogie i have not heard anything about him in a long time i don't know i'm surprised boogie doesn't like weed it seems like that would mellow his ass out because he's got like some anxiety stuff right it'll probably make him want to eat more though. Yeah. So that would probably be counterintuitive, you know, get a little stress relief and then you're so hungry, you're munching. And then, Oh, now I'm stressed more because I ate. Yeah. Maybe so. Maybe so.

I have no idea what he's up to. Probably still. He's still making videos, making two videos a week. He may have a schedule cause it's pretty consistent two videos a week. And, uh, just to eyeball it, I'd say he's getting 50,000 views a video. Okay. Just pull a gun on somebody. That'll get the trick done. Say that again?

Pull another gun on somebody. Pump those numbers up. That would bring him attention. Oh, yeah. I forgot he did pull the gun. What was that guy's name? Kill me. Kill me. Kill me!

He's got that silly name. I think he's got a funny name. Oh, the guy who came there, Frank Hassel. Yes. I think he calls it the Even his name is a pun. Wait, what did he say? Oh yeah, he goes, yeah, well based on

Hassel doctrine, I can come in there and fuck you in the ass what's his thing he wants to sissy hypnotize you i had never heard someone say that as like uh i'm gonna get you like you get hit with that you meet a Sokka when you get hit with that it's like what? I've been bested I don't even know what to do I can't tell did you do it? I'm not sure it's working

it's working just run what would he say I'm not hearing kill me what if Boogie had came out wearing a pink dress and had started making out with frank furiously like takes him to the ground on top of him and he's just like yes master i need it and certainly like like licking him on the face like i don't think frank would

have liked that very that may have been the best out you know agree and amplify like like i think that i think that when for me that's like the ultimate one-up like like like to be act like the sissy hypno worked and now that now you can't help yourself like coming out with a gun is uh that's a real checkmate move but um yeah but he he should have held his cards a little closer to his chest. Maybe the guns act two. Act one is try to go out there in a Princess Peach uniform and make out.

If a boogie started chasing me dressed as Princess Peach, I would run for my life. Slowly away. You gamble. Relax. my life slowly away relax i would lightly jog to safety all right just whatever you want to do goodness yeah that was wild super super inappropriate but unfortunately i can't help but think that some of that some parts of that are just i don't even know what the word is. I wonder how it is now.

Cause there was some legal fallout around that, right? I feel like it would have hurt him. Like the sort of thing that like, like it'll be sealed and like, like part of the agreement will be that nobody talks about this shit anymore. Maybe for the best. I feel like Boogie was less in the wrong. I take.

Well, yeah, no, but he didn't show up in someone else's house. Yeah. Right. Boogie's the least in the wrong, I take. Well, yeah. No, but he didn't show up at someone else's house. Yeah, right? Boogie's the least in the wrong. Yeah, some people say, oh, he fired the gun, therefore he's the crazy one.

But it's like... Well, yeah, he shouldn't have fired the... Firing a warning shot is a terrible idea, but yeah, he didn't show up at someone else's house that asked him not to. Well, he had to fire a warning shot after he said, I'm going to fire a warning shot. It's social code.

Do it now! Yeah. You can't not fire a warning shot after he said, I'm going to fire a warning shot. It's social. Yeah. Like you can't fire the warning shot. Like you could have just not said you were going to fire a warning shot. I bet he had. There will be no warning shots. Yes. And then what does the guy say?

He would have said, shoot me. Yeah. Kill me. Why don't you kill me? Yelling. Dude, that's's gotta be surreal for Boogie to walk out there and be like oh my god he's here yelling

for me to kill him saying that I think he would wasn't he saying shoot me I think so well I remember the interview or something we listened to it where they like talked on maybe it was Keemstar's show but like they argued or something like that where

Boogie was like yeah if you just know you know you show up I got a gun and I am not going to be happy about you he said something like that like like you know don't try me but yeah totally agree you showing up at someone's house who doesn't want you there is very very not cool really inappropriate

yeah well it sucks that happened. Mm hmm. Call it a wrap. It's working out for both. Yeah. Yeah. That's a wrap.

Call it a show. Go get a snack. No outros. We are good. P.K. Five thirty four.