Painkiller Already - PKA 538 with Tucker - Kyle Wins #RIPDMX, Wings Drama, Ludwig Subathon

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

pain killer ready episode 538 with our guest tucker taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by blue chew and smart mouth couple of wonderful sponsors we'll hear more about later kyle yeah there's been a bunch of drama all around the youtube community and goodness wanted to jump into it goodness president expert i guess i i guess i am um yeah so i don't follow wings much um i stay pretty busy and i i honestly don't like like i i i don't i don't look into it too much and i don't have a lot of friends who do either but uh someone sent me that video last night and uh and i sent it to you guys after watching it because it i was kind of gobsmacked by it and uh and we've all been kind of discussing it. And like, we were talking about like, should we even talk about this?

Like, it's kind of fucked, but like my point was, if we do talk about it, this is an indefensive wings conversation. This isn't a wings attacking conversation. Cause let me just kind of lay out, like,

I just saw one video. I don't know if there's more to it than what i know no this is enough to decide fully yeah i agree agree i like it i agree wholeheartedly yeah yeah so like we saw this video last night and i guess the short and long of it is that wing's wife had been carrying on sort of a flirty relationship with some of his moderators his twitch moderators i suppose discord in the twitch moderator discord that they have and um like to the point where like they were driving together and she wouldn't show him her phone because she's like having like private conversation with one of his fucking mods and he's like tell me who

the fuck you're talking to tell me who that who this is so i can demod them and she's like well how about i just leave the discord and then that way it's not an issue anymore and i guess he agreed to that so she left the discord and i'm a little confused with the timeline like maybe she continued talking to these people, but there's all these screenshots of her having flirty conversations with these dudes. And posting unflattering pictures of wings, which is definitely like if you find out that you're nodding, you know in your heart of hearts there's a 0% chance that Jackie ever would take an unflattering photo of you and be like laughing with her friends behind your back in a in a mocking way.

Like, look at a load of this loser. That's kind of thing. That's what like hits me so hard. Right. So I can imagine a universe where someone and don't make it Jackie or or me just is like flirty or something or you know hits it back with the waitress or waiter and it was never meant to be like a real betrayal or whatever it was just flattered by the attention and it happened this was a over the course of days and weeks flirting talking referring to one of the moderators as her future husband and her backup

plan and stuff like that and it was like this oh is and there was that ongoing emotional affair almost like sending that meme where it's um the two dogs from lady and the tramp like kissing eating the spaghetti like like it's a real flirty kind of thing and said those words like this could be us or this is let's get, we played a spaghetti. A really big thing. The thing about the unflattering pictures that hit me so hard. That's good. You're supposed to be on the same team.

You're supposed to be on the same team as a husband and wife. Jackie and I once played this the newlywed game. It was like at a bar environment and with this and that. And we're like the answer to every penis related question is huge huge gigantic they came up one time we won that was same team right there was no like mocking teasing or whatever no no no you we make each other look

good and uh united front always she's sending like unflattering pictures of him to people that don't seem to have his best interests in mind that's yeah it's like him sitting on the couch like in a unflattering angle and it's i think that either the text or i don't know in my voice i hear in my head i hear her voice but maybe i was just reading text and that's how my brain works but like she said something like he doesn't want to die at y'all and it's like well god damn isn't this man like getting it from every angle every time he goes online does he really need to be getting it from his wife behind his back with the small bastion of people who are also supposed to have his back is fucking twitch moderators it's like god damn yeah he should have like she should be offering some solace from all the the you know attacks he's getting so when

he gets off he's like all right at least i'm back on team us where we're gonna get along and i can decompress with all that stress instead of finding out like oh god damn it you've been doing this too right i need to have like the moral fortitude I need to have the backbone to stand up to the attacks I get at home or the attacks nonstop. Like, like you're supposed to be my support system. I am out there facing the crowd, facing the world who wants nothing more than to fucking stick me with daggers all the time. And when I stop streaming, now you do too? The fuck? Yeah.

He's at war at home and abroad. Yes. He's fighting a two-front war. It works both ways. Oh, I got the abroad. Give me a second. Give me a second. Why is it that it's always Discord mods?

That's a joke, right? Oh, my kitten. My sweet princess kitten. It's me your discord mod here To help like why is it always discord mods that are the it's like um Like IRC like moderator abuse back in the day or like old forum post where it's like I'll give you like super user if you fucking cyber with me like uh it just bothers me so much you fucking cyber with me. It's like,

ah, it's just bothers me so much. Yeah. It was like, oh, well I started the NASCAR forum. And if you want the VIP badge, you're going to have to pretend to be a furry with me for half an hour.

I'm in. I'm in. There's no other NASCAR chats. Do you not want to talk about NASCAR? Everyone you're going to talk about NASCAR with has done this also. Don't feel. Yes, master.

Should I put the harness on now? Not until you clean out your stall. It's filthy. You know, this sport isn't even worth it. The hockey forum's only making me send dick pics, not even with me. I'm a company admirer. Pretty shitty situation. Super fucked up. Super fucked up. that's the first i had heard

in a long time i remember there was something a while back about like her she was like crying in the background while he's streaming like not want him to stream it's like come on he's working why are you crying all the time like she's always crying he says that that was the barometric pressure thing right oh she cries when the barometric pressure changes there's something very close to that yeah it's a cry baby just a big cry like i'm there's a screenshot that one of us posted in the in the chat here that i'm looking at right now just just she's crying there she's always crying i i dude i don't know. Am I a monster? Cause I get calloused. Touche.

You're a good boy. But, but it's like, I get a little callous to the over crying thing. Like, I don't know. Desensitizing. No, I mean, if you, if, even if it is a very valid thing, like you got to throw it in there with this, God, this is such a crazy example, but like after a while, if you're working at a funeral home, like debt being around death doesn't bother you bother you it's just you're going to be desensitized to something if it happens so often especially when it's something that's supposed to be as severe or

at least as alarming as somebody crying in front of you right like yeah if you cry like i frown i stop giving a fuck about your tears right exactly it's no longer impactful or important it's just another day another another thing, you know? Yeah, gotta keep it special. Yeah. It's like when you talk to a boomer in an email and they don't quite get exclamation points. Yeah. You're screaming at me like, I'm so excited to get this report from you. And it's like, I know! I'm working on it!

Four exclamations. Love you. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You know, some of these attacks are hitting real close to home. I was on board with the anti-crying thing, but exclamation points are just good fun. Just letting you know I'm engaged with the conversation and eager.

Why use one when you can use three? They're free. Oh, my God. I feel like that is like a mutual thing that like so many people like in the business world, they end every single email with like, thank you. Like, I always and I always like you just gave me a really emphatic thank you. You you're making me give you an emphatic thank you because i can't give you a regular thank you or i'll feel rude i like the uh i like the the the standard best

comma and then you're you know like best like just best with best just don't talk to me just there's my signature or the um the worst is at least working with people who uh in the music industry think that they are from the uk but they they're not. So they'll say like, cheers, mate. And I'm like, you're from LA. Like you can't, this is so weird. I like to leave it at the end with a nice in Christ. In Christ. In Christ.

Tucker, I was gonna, when I tried to, I was gonna mention cheers too, but with, at Cisco I worked with a lot of people who were international. So they'd be either Australian or British and they'd'd say cheers, and it's like, fuck, cheers is so cool, but I can't use cheers. Yeah, that's endearing. You're like, nice.

What do you say? There's no cheers in the US. It's a casual. Yeah, just make your own up. Yeah. That Australian dude called me mate. I can't call him mate back. You can just say, thanks, bud.

Thanks, bud. I use dude a lot, but I don't think it's as good. Yeah, it's not. Dude is weak. Yeah, people are really stoked on the end of the email. I'm waiting to get a thanks cunt from an Australian. I'm like, oh, yeah, we made it. Thanks, cunt.

Because it'll have an exclamation point. Kyle, is that another blazer? It is. It is. This is what? Probably two of eight at this point. Something like that. Yeah.

So talk to Kyle. He's a blazer guy now. That's my thing. He's a blazer guy. I actually want a toothpick now. That's my thing. He's a blazer guy. I actually want a toothpick now. We have a thing. Fuck, I need a thing. Where's my email cowboy hat?

What you can do is you can flip a coin and catch it. I'll just be the guy that snaps in the background for no reason. I'm going to constantly look at a pocket watch yeah that's a great answer historic threats the jets oh yeah blazers yeah you were kyle doesn't dip his toe

anything whether it's video games or whatever when you're in you're in and so you're like i'm liking this blazer i want eight or like i want five something and we're getting the rotation yeah i just kept clicking i just kept clicking and they just kept they've been arriving it's um it's very uh it's very like 2012 E3 game devs. So you've got the graphic tee with the blazer, probably some like straight fit jeans and then some like, maybe some Reebok sneakers on, maybe. Got my flippy floppies on.

Okay, all right. That's a very Bethesda fit. You know, he always walks out with like flip flops. I like this one more than last week's, but I can't tell if it's because of the jacket or because of the shirt. Because I like the V-neck look more. Yeah, these are strong. It gives it some angularity. I don't know what it does.

I like the shirt, too. I have a fashion problem in that I don't like graphic tees. And they're clearly what's in style right now. Great big fucking pictures on your chest is what shirts are supposed to look like I think shirts are supposed to have and I don't right now like a little

like the eyes on blizzard or something like an emblem whatever it is like that to me is like the correct answer but that's not what people are doing now I got lots of polos I got plenty of Taylor's literally wearing a shirt like that. Is he? Taylor, let's see it.

Can you see? He's wearing Carhartt. Yeah, yeah. Carhartt thing. See, what Taylor has is what I think of as correct. But it seems like all the kids now want... Yeah. It's correct.

What do you mean? People have been wearing graphic shirts since they figured out how to make screen printing I mean you know it's like it's a tale as old as time yeah ancient Romans are like wearing like a really crappy like really shitty it was like like like like 45 ad calcium a big fucking sandal that says just do it underneath. I wonder if they had like brand name. I think it would actually say Nike. Isn't Nike Greek for victory?

Yes. Wow. The thing is I don't know that. I didn't know that. You learned something. Yeah, I want to say that they had the battle at Marathon, and then that one guy ran all the way back to tell everyone that they had won. Oh, the messenger guy.

He's exhausted. He utters one word, Nike, and then drops dead of exhaustion, and that's why we run marathons. You know what? Really? If the victory was already won... No, it's the Greek goddess of victory,

but I do remember that. I mean, they're probably related, but it's the Greek goddess of victory is her I do remember that. I mean, they're probably related, but it's the Greek goddess of victory is her name. Nike. Okay. You were spot on. They would have put the pieces together. Like, Nike.

What, like the shoes? It's not quite getting it, but yeah. If I'm running, first of all, there's no way someone's tracking with you for the whole 26.2 miles, 24.6. I don't remember how long the marathon is. It's 23.2, right? it's 25.2 i think 25.2 or is it 26.2 it's one of the two it's a high amount of miles and there's no way that someone was like tracking him and so like i would get like a mile away from town take a breather make sure you're not going to die after it's done and then just show up you're still going to be tired they're not going to die after it's done, and then just show up. You're still going to be tired. They don't know when you

left. Take your time. Wait, what do you mean? Oh, you're talking about the messengers. Yeah, I'm talking about the messenger. No, but their whole job was to get there fast, so if they didn't, I mean, you're right. Nobody was like, wow, this guy's running 45 minutes behind schedule. It fucking sucks. We won, but

we get to kill him for lolly. I wonder if that's a true story. Tucker nailed it. 26.2. I think somebody else said it. I just repeated it. I drove that last week. In one day, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I drove 108 miles. Yeah, that's no big deal. Yeah, I drove two marathons last night. A marathon that's no big deal. Yeah, I drove. You're sitting most of the time. A marathon is so absurdly long. I feel like you could, Tucker. You're a runner. No, that's what I was going to say. I like running.

I mean, I've taken a break because I hurt my foot for the last month or so, but I was running like three miles a day, which is, you know, that's over 5k. It's a healthy amount, but I'm, I mean, I'm not doing it for pay. I'm not doing it for length. I'm, I'm running to be tired after the three miles. So I'm, I'm pushing it. I don't know if I could even running at like a comfortable pace, do more than five miles before, like it would seriously, like my joints just hurt. I mean, like the amount of work that you have to get up to i think a couple people i um i know who have wanted to run a marathon they're like all right this is the year i'm gonna do it and they train and they train and they train the whole year and then maybe like one of them has done it in that year they've all gone on to run it but

like it's so much endurance and stress on your body i have no doubt in my mind i would not be able to make it anytime soon. No shot. Have you ever thought about trying for it? Like really trying? No. It doesn't seem like a fun goal. Some people love running. Love running, but it's fun when you get the running high. Go watch

the end of a marathon. They're all just falling over. Their calves are moving and cramping. None of them it's like all right i like sex right you ever thought about having sex for like eight hours in a row what about the blisters you know what puts that thought in my head every so often a woman's like yeah i was in labor for 24 hours and it's like whoa and imagine making a baby for 24 hours that's too long that's too long i want to make a baby for like 15 minutes yeah i never believe them when they say that i think that they had that like

like the first 16 hours was like oh i got a little rumble in my tummy oh feeling something here like like like the first 16 hours that 24 was like a case of bad gas i need the sweating four hours more they were blaming your husband portion of labor. Yeah, I don't believe it. I don't believe that part. Because after half a day of her knees by her ears screaming in pain, they do a C-section, right? As a husband, I would get desensitized to it.

If my wife was there sweating, screaming, saying, you did this to me, 16 hours in, I'm surfing the web. Like, all right, right, right, I heard you, I heard you. I'm grinding runescape. Hey, honey, Coles is having a sale. Uh-oh, you're still going? Jesus. I thought that would get you.

You know, Kyle, you should, next time a woman brings up, like, a labor time to you, you should next time a woman brings up like a labor time to you you should broach the subject but blase like and be like yeah i always wondered why they count the whole period when it's really only like 20 minutes of discomfort yeah say it like that and then just leave that out there and i hear it's not even that bad yeah or no no i could do that I could do that have you ever bit your tongue really bad that's the worst that's the worst pain a human can feel

having a thousand babies it's like some absurd stat and then you put them on the back foot and you start off with like but you couldn't possibly know what that feels like one more like responses to this I was in labor for 24 hours like like

one time i stayed in bed that long as if the two of you have that in common yeah oh yeah yeah i also lazy day like that myself one you know just don't feel like getting out of bed you know what can you do hey maybe there's a marathon of supernatural on and you want to watch you want to see if sam makes it back from hell. I get it. I get it. Yeah, because if I still have to get up and go to the bathroom, you were having some nice ladies bring you pans and things,

take care of you. You should have babies more often. I think they actually get up and go to the bathroom. Do they? I don't know. Because it's not real labor. If you can get up and go to the bathroom, what you're going through isn't that serious.

Yes, I agree. If you're not shitting and pissing, what you're going through isn't that serious. Yes, I agree. If you're not shitting and pissing yourself, you're not really about child labor. I don't want to hear your traumatic story, like you went to war or something, if in the middle of it you were able to go take a tinkle in another room. Get out of here. Soldiers poop in their foxholes. Wait, please tell me you've seen that football copy past like, this is a real game.

Men shit and piss on the field. Gridiron grab hard dicks. I don't know what this means. Gridiron grab hard dicks. I was literally thinking of Band of Brothers where they poop in their foxholes. I am due for a rewatch of that show. I don't think I've ever seen it. It's good, but not every episode is good.

Not every episode is good. I'll co-sign. I'll co-sign. There are some episodes that really shine, and then every now and then there's an episode where it's like, ah, these guys. Where's Private? Where's like Lieutenant Winters?

Yeah. Yeah, whatever that guy's rank is. Winters is my favorite, the red-haired guy. He's great. He's a perfect human, it seems. And sometimes just amazing things happen, tales of bravery, et cetera. I love that. And then other times it seems like there's a whole lot of administration

or waiting or something going on. What is this? That's fucking football right there. None of that pansy-ass dick-tugging smile-for-the-camera bullshit. Men puke. Men poop in the field. Now it's Alex Jones. Men deliver their newborn baby on the sidelines.

Fucking hardcore dick in the ass. Butterball. Foosball. Fuck it. Chuck it. Game time shit. Take it to the shower. Dicks get shoved in places you don't even remember.

We'll win together. We celebrate together. Football's back. Baby. Alex Jones should do NFL promos. Oh, my God nfl promos oh my god get him back on it actually get him in um like not even afl get him in xfl or whatever like just get him in like the alt league where wherever johnny manziel is playing which is like twitch chooses have you seen this it's like twitch chooses the plays of the football of the football team and then

literally football with humans johnny manziel is a quarterback in the league so twitch chooses the plays and then they actually just have to go on and do it so uh it's pretty entertaining it's first down fake punt yes i wonder if they did that it's's like playing NFL Blitz 98. Everything is like the super, super far back fake punt. Because in that game, you can punt like 130 yards. Great. Oh, my God. I can't believe that.

Those guys have to be out there realizing they're not in the NFL. And then, you know, booger eater 420. I mean, like Johnny Manziel was a top Booger Eater 420. I mean, but yeah, like if you were a top prospect, then you just fell off and now you have to play in not even like the Canadian Football League, but like the Twitch Football League. What happened with that guy Manziel? I don't follow football at

all but i thought he was supposed to be really good and then he was like a party in florida the really religious guy fuck tebow everybody's talking about him and then it's like you hear about that guy it was like that except tebow was a good player to an extent and manziel was also a good player but had disciplinary problems and was like out partying all the time in Ohio, like doing coke, getting caught out. It was just like a liability. It seemed like Tebow thrived in college because the system he was in was perfect for him. But when they put him to the pros, what he was really good at didn't work. Manziel, I think they felt like what he his potential as a pro was super high, but he wasn't playing well and no one wanted to invest the patience

and time in him because he's a druggie on the side, partying, etc. Didn't an ex-NFL player murder a bunch of people yesterday or today? Alex Hernandez. Killed four people, a doctor, his wife, and two grandchildren. Murdered them in South Carolina.

I thought you were talking about Aaron Hernandez. What kind of use? four people, like a doctor, his wife, and two grandchildren, like murdered them in South Carolina? What gun did he use? I thought you were talking about Aaron Hernandez. What gun did he use? That's what matters in today's political climate. We need to know what to ban, Kyle. That gun has a problem with it. Don't worry, Biden already banned pistol hand braces because the guy in Colorado used one to, quote unquote,

fire his pistol more accurately. I didn't realize that would be used. Ex-N easy. Philip Adams kills five in himself in South Carolina shooting. There it is. Five and himself. Two children. And in that photo,

he looks like such a nice guy. Smile, you fuck! He's thinking like yeah I'm gonna murder five people someday that's what I'm gonna do I mean you know what you know what I'm this is going to be and I hope I didn't see if he

got if he got killed or whatever but I hope that this is another case where they go take his brain and then inevitably find that he was suffering from incredible CTE. Just like fucking half of these people. Right? That's a good thought. If he had CTE

is this a gun issue or is it a football issue? It's a football issue. Was the gun black? It was! They're the scariest guns. If it's black and it has plastic on it. No, it said he was a 45. Oh, silver. Most likely black black so he killed a 70 year old a 69 year old and then a nine year old and a five year old wow he ran the

fucking table with him because i think all i think those four must have all been in the same yeah that they were their grandchildren jesus. And I guess he killed himself. Did he? He didn't. And then there was another shooting today in Texas, I think. I think maybe there was a shooting today in Texas, and the guy killed four and maybe injured one, and he's still on the loose. Shootings are up.

Jesus Christ. It's summertime. Hey, COVID's gone, baby. It's time for us to be number one once again. And the only stat that matters is gun deaths as well. Yeah, yeah. Come fall, I expect some school shootings to kick off oh my god there's dude you know there's some there's some real dark like over under odds that could be placed on the on like you know mass murders in in america it's can we do that there we go we've got a death pool going we did on january 1st talker and i picked dmx in mine dmx is gonna give it to you i was no i was here when you guys chose your death pool i was at that

oh okay okay so i was thinking about yeah and dmx is uh i mean it's a brain dead yeah technically when what if what if you get a terry shivo? That's what I said. And they were like, yeah, when they bury him, then we pay you. And I'm like, we're autopsy. All right. They need to be prepared to bury your autopsy. He's going to be actually dead. Yeah. He literally can't be on life support.

He doesn't even. The second they unplug him and then you wait 30 seconds and it goes, then you get your money. If he can fog a mirror,, then you get your money. If he can fog a mirror, you don't get any money. Yeah. Wait, with ventilator or without ventilator, though? I mean, semantics here. I hear you.

No, we're holding on to him. He won the last one, so we're going to come up with anything. He's still alive in my heart. Woody's got Navalny or Naval navalny whatever his name is and i think that kyle's got a better chance than you woody because putin may just keep this guy in the yeah and be like oh this now he's still sick no i could show you a photo of him from yesterday holding the paper he's alive he's alive but he's no you'll never see him again sorry like yeah i i he could be dead and i could still lose this death pool you will not see yeah i was gonna say you will probably not find out that

he is dead anytime soon if he is actually dead i would be more surprised if that i i'm kind of surprised they didn't just keep them alive and not sick you know i mean just like here he's in the prison so we treat him really good you know that's yeah i i don't know i everyone was sure they were going to kill him but i always felt like when they got captured that he was more likely to live that the killing happens out in the wild you know he could have got that poison from anywhere yeah or maybe just like hit and run him for information like any other connections that he had stop working wait did we talk about was that the episode that we talked about how fucked

up it was that if you got poisoned with polonium like how absurd it is where you didn't yeah okay all right i was trying to be it's like being like shot with a kryptonite bullet you're like who could have done it well it's either Lex Luthor or it's Lex Luthor he's the only one who has kryptonite bullets we know it was Lex Luthor

there was another topic that got me really interested aside from the death. We were talking about shootings and betting on mass murder. The gun ban stuff. Ah, yeah. So what happened? You banned some kind of grip on a pistol?

Arm braces. He didn't even ban AR-15s? Just do it all? Shut up. Oh, he can't? He put out six anti-gun executive orders. One of them bans arm braces. If people don't know...

Look, this terminology is going to be like 80% right. You can put a certain stock on an AR-15, which effectively makes it a pistol because you can operate it with one hand. And it kind of wraps around your forearm. it with one hand and it kind of wraps around your forearm. It operates like a rifle because you don't put it, you don't usually use the stock wrapped around your forearm. You just use it against your shoulder like you would a rifle. I'll show you a picture in a second. Anyway, I guess the guy used that. The reason people like this stock is that you can't have a short barreled rifle and they want to have a short barrel on their AR-15. So they put this stock on it, which makes it a pistol technically,

but not in reality. And now that's banned. So I guess you have to get the license fee for the short barrel rifle. Kyle, did I get anything wrong? Yeah, you got it all right. I'll show you. I've got a really good image for you that really shows it all. So, yeah, Sig makes a great one, by the way.

Oh, I see. It looks really cool. So this is still technically a pistol. And what some people will do is when they don't have their local ATF agent looking over their shoulder, they'll just put that thing against their shoulder and use this as a short-barreled rifle without having to pay the $200 tax stamp, is what he said. Yeah, so you can totally imagine that thing. This stock is an invention to get around the ban on short-barreled rifles.

Now, the bigger question I have is why is there a short barrel rifle ban? Nobody is sticking this gun in the small of their back and concealing it. That's silly, right? I don't know why there's a short barrel rifle ban. I don't understand the logic behind it, but this is the way to get around it. Has there ever, I mean, I was going to ask, has there been a mass shooting where somebody has used a heavily modified AR-15 like this? Or have they all been relatively standard?

The only one I can think of is the guy using the bump stock from Vegas, right? There was the bump stock in Vegas. This is what the guy was using in Colorado recently. Got it. Okay, so those two, the more recent ones are the ones where we see it get a little bit more into, I didn't just get an AR-15 off the street and we're ready to go. It was like we put some effort into this, or at least we bought some accessories for the gun in the first place. Sure, I guess.

I mean, I was just asking for clarification. It doesn't make a gun more deadly. No. A short barrel doesn't make a gun more deadly. You could argue it makes it less deadly. It does. and a short barrel doesn't make a gun more deadly you could argue it makes it less deadly it does i think that they're um i think the only reason people think they're cool is that you can't really have it you know so you have to go out of your way to get it and that makes it cool it makes it it makes it a lot more fun to shoot honestly like it does why yeah yeah it's a lot more uh maneuverable it's a lot more um i wouldn't say concealable but you

know it's it i've shot i shoot out the wind or i would shoot out the windows of cars a lot you know so it's it's real easy to like shoulder and shoot right out your window right over like a full length ar-15 barrel maybe in your house if you wanted to clear every room and closet sure yeah close quarters stuff where you don't want the barrel bumping into everything. And, you know, someone even grabbing the barrel if you're into some sort of like military type situation. But yeah, I mean, it does slow down bullet velocity a little bit, but it's still going plenty fast enough. I always put myself in a school or a shopping mall and say this gun's not more deadly, but there are other situations. Yeah, I guess so. You know, like, like the main thing I would say, um, it's

more concealable. Obviously you're not going to put it in the small of your back, but this would fit in like a violin case or like a backpack. Um, pretty, pretty readily. I would definitely fit in a backpack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of wild how I was going to say, it's kind of wild how after playing Tarkov, now I'm looking at it and I'm like, I know all of these pieces. Yeah, I know. That's not the best ergo on that foregrip. You might want to change that up. Yeah, yeah.

10 rounder in that? Good point. He's probably in California or something. That's a 20. Those things are cool um i've never really fucked with them um when i had guns i i could just make my own sbrs at will so like it wasn't really a thing but um but they are neat or they were neat i guess now they're banned i wonder if

it's one of those things where they're grandfathered and if you've got one now it's still legal or if it's like the bump stocks where it's like turn them in by x date or you're a felon i don't know do you know what any of the other ones do that was the easiest one for me to understand the other what there are six executive orders and i i didn't see them i just saw the one about the arm brace yeah i have no i have no idea what the other one he's probably also going after um what he calls ghost guns oh yeah okay unfinished or whatever just receivers and stuff yeah really the ability to make your own guns as possible ghost guns it's a ghost gun yeah so i did a spooky i did a video once where i made a shotgun if you could call it that. It was basically a pipe.

You can buy a pipe at a Home Depot that is the perfect diameter for a shotgun shell. And then you just sort of slide towards the back of it, and it shoots out the front. I shot some plywood or something. I bet he'd call that a ghost gun. But I think that 3D printers and stuff like that are enabling people to get a little more sophisticated than i ever did right um but i also read it but are ghost guns bad are people getting doing things like see like it's always it's always this big misconception because like not everywhere are you required to have registered guns and and not everywhere are most places

citizen to citizen sales have no like paperwork behind them and i don't think they should like if i'm if i want to buy maybe not me but if taylor wants to buy woody's gun that's between him and taylor you know why are we dragging the federal government into a private transaction of taylor and and woody you know yeah in north carolina what you said is right for rifles for pistols i'm supposed to check either his permit or his concealed carry yeah right yeah or you know if you just know him well enough to know that he's not a criminal or a felon no here there's literally a permit for handgun sales. I remember we looked into it once. You thought that maybe I was wrong, and you're like, oh, it turns out this is a Jim Crow thing that they just never got rid of.

Oh, okay. Now that makes sense. Yep. Yep. North Carolina. Yeah. So that still exists for us. Although I don't think they selectively enforce it against black people anymore, but that's how it got invented.

Has there ever been shooting by a 3d printed gun like well i think we're too early for that i don't think so but well i mean i probably if there was it would be one of the biggest stories ever so like i in fact yeah i just don't know why i think so like if you want a gun there are easier ways to get a gun than 3d printing i'm not going to go into the nuts and bolts of that. It's no, there, there are easier ways, but I do like, I mean,

it is really cool thought exercise to scale it up and think, you know, at a certain point there may be a very accessible 3d printing solution or option where if we go, you know, fully into it, all the file types or files that you need to download and build virtually anything like a universal philips head screwdriver to here's

all the parts to build your own handgun albeit who knows how well it would stand you know up to actually being fired because it's fucking yeah i don't even yeah yeah i mean or you could just go buy a milling machine right no but nobody's gonna go buy a milling machine. Right? No, but nobody's going to fucking buy a milling machine. Why not? They're cheap. Because it's too much. All right, they're going to make 3D printers where it's like your normal printer. 300 bucks, drag the file in here, and then just hit start.

And it'll just, right? Is there a parallel for milling machines? Yeah, you can go buy a milling machine, and you can just make your own AR-15 lower. And that's the registered part you could buy a two-thirds uh or an 80 percent lower i should say and then just finish it off with your milling machine and then all the other parts are just parts they're not restricted in any way you know barrels and grips and stocks and uppers yeah but i was just talking more about how the ease of accessibility between somebody who has no know-how of what to do a milling machine and operate it versus literally dragging and dropping in a computer file and then it like just does it for you like i don't think we've ever i don't

think we've had a 3d printed gun ever be used in something but i'm saying in the future probably a much bigger problem than than we have right now or it could be seeing is tucker talk about how easy it is to do things in his comfort zone versus like the mill machine or if you were a redneck farmer you might be like them god damn 3d print machines i don't know shit about fuck for that but a mill machine is the easy way to make a lower like you might have the the inverse i can take the yuppies what about the coastal elites who want to have guns too? They have their own little miniature armies. They've conscripted.

So just wait, I got three. Mark Zuckerberg has his own storm troopers lining his compound. You can never even touch an icky gun. You could make a lure with my milling machine in less than an hour on your first try. Like I could like on my first try and I've never done it before.

Like it's super duper easy. And if you've got a good milling machine, the kind that's got like the digital readouts and has like the automation, then it's essentially a 3D printer. Like you can have a computer attached to your milling machine and put in that file and it'll just do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

It'll do the whole thing. It's a 3D eraser, right? It's a 3D eraser. You hand it a block and you erase the parts you don't want. Exactly, yeah. They're not crazy expensive. I thought I was so clever. I'm sure it's been come up with before.

A milling machine isn't... A lathe is the really scary one that can rip your skin and your bones. A milling machine is like a drill press that can move around and hit it from different angles. Yeah, that's not going to tear you up or anything. You'd have to make some real bad decisions to put your hand in the milling machine. You could get sucked in, I guess. But, you know, that's true with any piece of big equipment, right?

I saw a video the other day and it's like, I don't know what country, one of those savage countries. And they're trying to break up a couple of dogs who are having a fight. And meanwhile, there's like a PTO shaft probably running a well so they can all drink semi clean water that night. And one of them managed to get tangled in like a long PTO shaft and it doesn't rip them apart or anything, but he's doing loop de loops around it.

Like a fucking cartoon character. Just like round, round, round, round, round, round, round, like end over end. Hilar over end hilarious was he you said it didn't tear him apart but are we to assume his bones were broken in 19 places you know it was hard to see how

exactly he got tangled into it it was like his shirt got caught or something like he was almost attached at the belt line to the pto and going head over heels with the, in the, and like everybody's like, holy shit. I thought the dog fight was a show, but this Hamid is really doing some loopy loops over here. Now his spine has 130 vertebrae. It doesn't kill him. I'm watching it right now.

It does. You're watching the dog fight one. Yeah. It's in pretty, uh, I typed in PTO shaft dog fight. That Yeah, it's in pretty... How did you find ball? I typed in PTO Shaft dog fight. That'll do it. It's wrapped around.

Yeah, so probably can't show it, but let's see what this is. Yeah. I hate this text-to-speech shit. Are you kidding me? I'm just muting. Yeah. The text-to-speech style of video. Are you guys that hateful of your own voice?

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Yep. That or their English isn't his feet are hitting the ground and he's like he's like a human plow wow oh my god he became a tractor implement yeah, machines are so much more powerful than us. We suck. Yeah. Like even my tractor is not as big as that one. It's 45 horsepower, 47, something like that.

But 47 horsepower will rip your arm off without slowing down. It won't even bog. Like what humans can offer as resistance to a tractor is insignificant yeah i mean all they had to do back in the day to like draw and quarter you is like all right we just need like four horses and then we make sure that they don't move before we tell them to because it'll tear them right apart so just very slow with the whole like like very uh i was i was looking through like a medieval on stream i was looking at uh like medieval tortures and things and one thing like we you know you you wiggle around you find new things to look at and i was like i was like confidently talking to chat

like you know there was some guy way back in the day who was a scientist and when they killed him they're like blink as many times as you can oh yeah the guy with the head and then he kept blinking after they beheaded him and so that's that's the way they knew that he was still alive for at least a little bit and uh then a couple people you know were like that's absolutely not true that's made up and i was like oh is it yes it is made up i would like him to talk well you can't talk he's beheaded it was a guilt it was to try and them to try and see how long the brain activity continued after the guillotine cut their head off and so it was something like for that one was like 13 seconds of him blinking before he stopped right well why yeah but the worst i can't

i guess you need your lungs to exhale yeah yeah sharp as a marble over here i got it eventually opening just put a vacuum air put like a nice it in there and just say something yeah like that like a russian dog have you seen that like russian cosmonaut dog thing it's one of the most fucked up videos ever i bet it's on YouTube. The Russians wanted to see if they could keep a dog head alive, just the head. And so it's like just a dog head laying sideways on the table. And it's got a bunch of tubes and things.

And it's like a dog like panting and like breathing in a terrified way because it's just a head now. And it was like, how does this get you to space maybe I'm making up that it had anything to do with space let's see if we can keep just a dog head alive they're planning for Futurama

no wonder we're losing this fucking space race we're in here fucking with dog heads they stole all the genius Germans oh we don't want the genius Germans let the Americans have them I don't understand why America says it won the space race I feel like we just

lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost set up our own goal line and then said we won well come on, it's a pretty good goal line right? here's a little thought experiment for you do you really think that Russia and Russians think they lost the space race?

They got to orbit before we did. They got a giant Yuri Gagarin statue there, better than any of our NASA statues, frankly. You go ask a Russian, yeah, of course we won. We got there first. You guys lost. No, you know, we got to the moon first. That was the original. You know, they went, and because of the way we built the space shuttle they were

able to go to each of the subcontractors and purchase the parts for our space shuttle like it was a goddamn lego set that cost 100 million dollars and then just build it themselves and so they built their own space shuttle right before the fall of the soviet uh union and they also had plans to go to mars now that would have been moving the fucking flagpole that if they go to mars then they win the space race yeah but they still like i didn't know the list was this comprehensive thank you woody like first satellite space soviet union first animal in space soviet union first man in space soviet union first woman in space soviet union for spacewalk soviet, Soviet Union. First spacewalk, Soviet Union. First space station, Soviet Union.

First man on the moon, USA. Winner of the space race, USA. Yeah, well, who won the entirety of the Cold War? I think that's very telling. Who writes my history textbooks? It's not Sputnik 5. Let's go to Taylor's point on that.

American Johnson and Johnson, right? Do the Russians think they lost the Cold war or did it just never really end? And it's still happening. And they're currently like, I think the Russians propaganda elections or something. I think they lost because of like the dissolution of the Soviet Union. It was like such an apparent, like maybe they see themselves as part of communism,

which is winning. No, maybe it's kind of popular over there. No, maybe it's communism popular over there. No, not anymore. I have a couple, I have a couple of Russian friends. So I've,

you know, who, yeah, yeah. Who, who live not just in Moscow, but one of them lives in like wherever North of fucking Mongolia is, or was from there.

They're, they're very much in the same, like, uh, almost like the same mentality as the people who were, uh, very ap about uh the last election cycle they're like our country just kind of sucks and that's just the way it is and they don't think that's not communism or anything they moved over to the us for a reason more opportunities over here they're all musicians so take it with a grain of salt they're not exactly like poli sci majors that are like well here's all the complex they're just like it's not really great over there i don't know what to tell

you so i came over here and it's also not great but it's just but it's sunnier yeah like yeah like if you talk to people that left that like people and their families who left russia like that place sucks dude oh it's the worst because because everybody who likes it you know or i guess a lot of people who hate it, they can't afford to leave. Yeah. Everybody who thinks Russia's great lives in Russia. Yeah. That's the difference between, I think, Russia and the U.S.

The people that are impoverished and live there hate it versus in the U.S. they love it. They're so excited to love America is what I mean. Not being poor. They love America. Right? Like the nationalism is what I was getting at. I don't think people in abject poverty in the U.S. are like, fuck yeah! Like, this is incredible.

Right? There's this cliche that our poor are just temporarily embarrassed millionaires. Yeah. Oh, that's what it's, yeah, temporarily broke. Yeah. That surely they'll, you know, they don't want to tax the rich because that'll be me someday. Dude, you aren't even a skilled HVAC repairman. Like, you're not going to make any money at all.

That's the first step. That's the first step. You want to be a millionaire, you learn that fucking overpriced repair trade. I'm telling you, it leads to owning your own business. I have it too. I have it too. I'm not giving that one to you. I'm owning your idea. I have it too. I have it too. I'm not giving that one to you. I'm right though.

I'm right though. Aren't I? Don't we all agree? Like, like, I'm giving you what's that Jay-Z song. He's like, I'm giving you a million dollars worth of advice for nine 99. That's what's happening right here. All right. Look, you go to trade school.

It's a two year school. It costs like $8,000 or something like that to get your HVAC degree. You work for someone else's company and you learn the ins and outs of the trade. You save up enough money working hard and living below your means to get a truck and an LLC. These are cheap things to get. A year later, you have those things. Now you are Jim Bob's Incorporated HVAC repair. You undercut everyone else and you work harder than everyone else. Two years later, you got two or three trucks. And by the way, you should have made a lot of strong relationships at that school that you went to and paid $8,000. You want to know those teachers. You want to befriend them.

They get Christmas cards because they're rising stars. They need to be coming to work for you and driving your extra trucks around. 10 years later, you don't drive a fucking truck. You don't repair air conditioners. You've got 15 trucks in three cities and little Jim bobs of your own making are repairing ac units and all around the state if you're a millionaire in 10 years if jim bobs llc does hvac work the day that they say they're going to do hvac work they're already unicorns that stand out as titans among peons in the contractor industry. Just hit your deliverable dates and you'll get so much business that you don't know what to do with it all. That's a shocking life lesson for all you younger individuals that found your way over the, the, the, if you want to get 50% credit on anything you do, just show up on time.

It's like the weirdest thing over 12 years of doing this is showing up on time to anything I do. And people are like, wow, we work with a lot of content creators. Why are you on time? I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, sick. They remember it. It's like such a small thing. Just be on time.

It's not hard. Just do it. And then you're small thing. Just be on time. It's not hard. Just do it. And then you're already half the way to satisfaction or whatever. You're either early or you're late. Make a fucking good impression. If you're doing business with someone, show them that you mean business. I like to show up at 3 a.m. outside of my new boss's house. With a mariachi band.

That won't work. You show up in his bedroom with the coffee. I'm in bed with him. That would make an impression. With coffee. Hey, Mr. Ruttaker, it's time for work. Your head's enormous.

You don't know where I've put your wife. Your head's enormous. All the better to eat you with. HVAC while you were asleep. No, but take that HVAC thing I just laid out. Maybe you're like, I don't want to work on HVAC. I don't know. Become a welder. It's the same exact

thing. Be a plumber. Be an electrician. My cousin's a master welder, and that's not me paying him a compliment. That's his title. Oh, master welder. He just went and worked for nine weeks and made $30,000. Now, to be fair, he does this thing where he works for nine weeks, makes his $30,000, and then lives on that until it's almost gone. And then he's like, I guess it's time to go back to work again

but but look for two and a quarter months yeah yeah for two and a quarter months so like you know maybe he does that three times a year and the rest of the time he's like a teacher lazy in the summer not doing shit not doing fuck all i hope you're watching kyle's cousin yeah oh he doesn't watch but but not no live your life the way you want to buddy i mean he's enjoying it um but but yeah you could you could be a welder any of the trades google your local trade school look how cheap those degrees are look how little amount of time and prior education are required. You got a GED, you're golden. They love that there. They want hard workers. Come on, get after it. It's easy.

I have Kyle Cousin questions. One, does he still have that pimp truck, the F-250 that was very nice? He's gone through like three trucks since then. And his most recent truck is like, has like a major engine malfunction. So he's driving like a third car they had laying around while he gets the engine repaired. And like, we were just having that discussion about like how expensive brand new trucks are right now. And he was like, I don't want to start all the way over with those payments. These trucks are $50,000. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to get my truck going again.

I'm going to drive that until there's time for a new one. And then I'm just going to get a used one. And I think that's his plan. But no, he does not have that ridiculously expensive F-250 Triton, big boy, big balls kind of truck. No more with the big old 8.12 liter whatever the fuck it had in it like had the biggest fucking diesel i liked it in this context 8.12 is bigger than 8.2 in my head we don't do fractions we use the metric shit uh yeah it's uh it's uh no he's he's beyond like a set of tires for that

motherfucker was like two thousand dollars or something absurd like that they're like five hundred dollars a pop like he had like a brand new f-250 like whatever the top of the line engine is they put in those things like i don't know what it is i don't know diesel some like eight liter supercharger bullshit and i think he got like maybe not the like a lariat as well like like you know all leathered out and just sick as fuck and i told him i was like hey this works this is fine but you've got to make this a tax write-off this has to be like your business truck and you got to be traveling around to weld and he didn't want to do that that. He doesn't, he's get, he's he gets really homesick, which is something I can't identify with. I had a friend like that.

Like we would go on the road to do FPS Russia stuff and we'd be gone for eight, 10 days, right. You know, driving from Atlanta to Phoenix and in between we'd hit like three shoots and we'd be meeting different groups of people, different firearm manufacturers, different kinds of wild men who live in the desert and that sort of thing. And, and like, I'd be having a ball. We'd be meeting these Mexican women and like Southern Texas and like going to the bars and having a great time.

And I'm just like, Hey guys, you want to just stay for another week? Like we're done with our work. Let's just party. Let's have a good time in Austin, Texas for a whole week. I'll'll pay i'll pay let's go let's do it man i gotta get home my girlfriend which one you've got a girlfriend here already we all do like like like why are you leaving like like he did he had like this pretty little mexican girl that he had met down there she was really cute nah i gotta get home and i'm like what's at home that isn't here do you want to see your dad that bad like it's not like you have kids i live where you live it's only so so i live where you live and

i hate it i didn't want to put it down i hate it i hate it someone asked me last night what Conway, South Carolina was like. And I was like, I mean, look, it's not Baghdad. You're not getting shot at. It's safe. But there's nothing to fucking do. There's nothing to fucking do unless you drive half an hour in one or more directions. Myrtle Beach is within a half an hour, 40 minutes or something like that. But that's a trip you got to make. Where I'm in Atlanta right now, it's like, you want to go do something? Yeah. All right. You want to walk or drive? Yeah, let's walk.

There's shit to do. There's shit to do everywhere. Not the movies are a thing right fucking now. But if I want to go to the movies, there's a really, really nice like Cineplex thing, like three miles away or something like that. But aren't we now just arguing about the difference between people who want to be like, you know, out in the middle? Because I'm the same way. I now live in the middle of downtown L.A. And I count like today I was like, I got an hour before I got a stream. I'm going to just go for a walk, maybe order some food a mile away walk to there get it

walk back like you know just it's like the convenience is something really nice but when I moved to Portland and I live like 20 minutes outside the city no Ubers would come to pick me up so if somebody was like hey I want to come hang out in downtown Portland I was like well I'll go fuck myself I'm DDing now I have to drive there

and so like that's a whole different like I don't think I can live anywhere that does not have the ease of access of a reliable ride share program. It's just too nice peace of mind. I'm never even remotely thinking I shouldn't have another one because I got to drive. Fuck it. I got an Uber. I don't care. I get off of my federal probation probation in october and i'm moving

congrats and it's like i'm definitely gonna live somewhere where i can uber if i'm way too stoned to get to waffle house or whatever the fuck right like i'm not gonna get any kind of a charge ever again i'm gonna mind my fucking p's and q's and it's like yeah ride sharing is a thing and i've gotten so used to having shit delivered to me that I really like it. Like, like I think there's an Amazon delivery facility here in Atlanta. So whereas everybody else kind of lost their two day prime delivery, I still get mine on almost everything. Like I get everything within two days and like we have Instacart here, which is like,

you don't want to go to the grocery store, like, like clickety click, clickety clack and pay an extra $10 and all your groceries get dumped on your front doorstep. Let me tell you this the other night, cause Kitty and I, um, Kitty was wanting to get some, some groceries, but she's only got her first vaccination and she's still a little wary about going out. So I was like, just use my Instacart account. I'm like a mega member or whatever the hell I pay an extra a hundred a year to get free deliveries.

And so she ordered some deliveries using my account to her address. Well then, two days later, I'm ordering groceries at 7.30 at night. And I need these groceries. I'm out of food at my house. I'm like, I need some chicken. I need some tea. I need the necessities to make a meal. I look on the map because it's taken too long to arrive. They're taking it to her house. She lives like 20 fucking minutes away from me. And I'm messaging this guy like, no, no, you're going to the wrong address.

No. So you made an error when you asked for it. Like you forgot to change it back, I guess. Forgot to change it back. It didn't even occur to me that the default address would be her address. when you asked for it like you forgot to change it back i guess forgot to change it back i it didn't even occur to me that like the default address would be her address they're taking it to her house and i'm just like fuck fuck fuck so i go in i think maybe this will work maybe if i delete her address from the address book within the app he'll get pinged and he'll check his

messages well he gets there and he sends me a message. He's like, hey, it says I can't deliver the groceries because this address doesn't exist. I'm like, yeah, because you're at the wrong house. Dead silence. He uploads a picture of the stop sign outside her address and says delivered. And I'm just like, so I get in my car hungry as hell and i'm driving to her house i get there and

the groceries aren't there the groceries aren't there and i'm so pissed because i was already like like i just had ended a long hard day of like i was out in the world like running running errands and stuff i've been out all. I got home starving and I'm like, at least I can, let's make some chicken stir fry. This is going to be delicious. And now I've driven 20 minutes one way. Now I have to turn around and go 20 minutes back the other way. So I'm pissed. I'm on the phone with Instacart customer support. I'm like, my groceries never arrived. And this little Asian girl goes, oh, I am so sorry to hear that song. And this little Asian girl goes, oh, I am so sorry to hear that song.

We will credit you $111 and give you a $10 tip. And I'm just like, really? Yes. Is this satisfactory? And I'm just like, absolutely. Sure. I'll take all my money back and an extra $10. I'll drive to Walmart.

They're open 24-7. I'll get some chicken. I get home and the groceries are on my doorstep. Wow. This guy put it there, took a picture, and then was like getting into his car, looked in his rear view, saw the groceries and the stop sign. He's like, fuck. I got to hook this guy up.

What if he's diabetic and his blood sugar's low? That's crazy. I don't want to be a murderer i had a good amazon so here's what happened i bought a motorcycle part at amazon they sent the wrong part all right sucks i call them i'm like i want to return this wrong part they're like oh but it wasn't from amazon like amazon i guess was the facilitator of the sale yeah they just shipped it from a third party seller yeah exactly so when i to return it, they want me to pay for shipping. And I'm like, oh, this doesn't seem right to me.

You know, I call it customer service. I'm like, you said the wrong part. This shouldn't cost me 20 bucks or whatever it will be to ship it back. I didn't make the mistake. Why should I be out all this money for return shipping? And Amazon said, all right, just this one time we'll do an exception and whatever the shipping costs, we'll pay for it. So I go to the UPS store. I forgot to bring the address, call my wife. Hey honey, what's that

address? She texts it to me. Cool. I'm shipping it back to Greece. It's a $50 part for $200 in shipping to return it. And I call them up and I'm like, well, I did what you said. I shipped it back, but it was $200. I need my refund. And they're like, you shipped a $50 part back for $200? So now you want $250? And I'm like, well, $280,

because they charged me for shipping in the first place. You know, that's it. Well, $280 because they charged me for shipping in the first place. That's it. And they're like, all right, we'll do it. Now Amazon is going to give me all this. But I was like, you see what's happening here. They sent me the wrong part, and then they made it $200 to return it like they had me buy the short hairs. Yeah.

None of this seems right to me. You know what it is? I have nothing to back this up but i got a feeling that you and i spend similar amounts on amazon like possible yes like tens of thousands a year almost or verging on it ten thousand plus a year and i have seventeen thousand dollar months kyle fuck all right tens of thousands of dollars a year i i haven't had seventeen thousand dollar months on amazon but i definitely spend well over ten thousand a year um and there are months where like i order some gear and it's like four or five thousand like that month so like yeah it gets it gets kind of wild um when they see me say hey i never got that 500 item it never came they're just like okay

sure sure sure oh mr myers well let's sort this right the fuck out yes mr myers he didn't get his coat they just immediately fix it i'm sure they i'm sure they do have that right there's no way they don't have like some internal scoring where they're like kyle's a 980 out of a thousand like we're gonna give him what he wants like because even if it's even if it's fraudulent we will make back that 500 next week like he will yeah like this stupid watch i think this watch is like 400 or something like that and And when I first ordered it, some jabroni had taken my watch out of its box, put that box into the Amazon shipping box,

and then sent it to me. So I opened it up and I was excited to get my watch. I was like, this is going to be cool. This little, little smartwatch. It's going to pair on my phone. It's going to do so many things.

It has so many functions and it's empty. And I'm just immediately like, Hey, there there's no watch and they're just like oh problem solved would you like a credit or would you like a new watch tomorrow it's like yeah new watch tomorrow would really hit the spot well we usually can't mr myers but your your anti-social credit score is so high you just have to do yeah i wonder wonder if that does happen with Amazon. I know it happens with my bank. I asked the, not the teller, but, you know, the people that, like, sit in the back offices.

Right. I was like, you know, like, am I a VIP at this bank? It's Wells Fargo. I don't know. And they're like, yeah, yeah, You are the second highest rating of bank customer. And I'm like, does it like say that they're like, yeah, your name comes up in bold red and they like turn the monitor around and there's my name in like big fat red letters. They're like, when you see this, you know, that the, the guy gets VIP treatment. So sometimes like I go to them, I'm

like, you know what? I'm out of checks. And they're like, it's $37. And I'm like, know what i'm out of checks and they're like it's 37 and i'm like i like it when they're free and they're like oh say no more they're free now or uh kyle you might be muted i um the cashier's checks like when we bought jackie's car we got a cashier check and they're like yeah you know the cashier's check is whatever like some percentage of the check and i'm like ah like i like free cashier's checks and they're like oh okay well just this one time oh and one other thing it seems that my shoes have come untied i mean it's funny you mentioned that because two parts. One, I lost my wallet walking back from the grocery store. Fell out.

I was wearing some obscenely short shorts. You know, the wallet barely fit in them. Fell out. I was probably skipping. And somebody picked it up. And by the time that I had gotten home, it's only like a four block walk. I get home. I'm unloading my groceries and I get a text message.

And it's like, did you approve any of these charges? Reply yes, if they're all good. And it's like $503 withdrawal, U.S. bank, 503 withdrawal, U.S. bank, 2000 withdrawal, U.S. bank. And I was like, none of these. And I look at my, I'm like looking around. I was like, oh, I don't have my wallet. So call Bank of America.

And I was like, hey guys. Yeah, I was like, I was like, hey guys, have my wallet. So call Bank of America. And I was like, hey, guys. Yeah, I was like, hey, guys, lost my wallet. They withdraw all this money. Like, first of all, what the fuck happened? How did they even get money on my account? They're like, they had to have used your pin. And I was like, ah, they do have my wallet. And they probably guessed it from some info in there.

I shouldn't have put my pin where the signature goes. Right, right, exactly. I mean, it was, but in my head, I was like, my pin isn the signature goes. Right, right, exactly. I mean, it was, I was, but in my head, I was like, my pin isn't that obvious. It can't be. So I was like, are there any failed transactions? She's like, ah, yes, I see. They tried 19 times before getting it correct.

And I was like, so you mean to tell me they tried 19 times on one ATM and you guys didn't say, this looks suspicious. Maybe we should just block this card. Well, sir, I did notice that on last Saturday night, it seems you bought eight pitchers of beer and then failed 14 times in a row. And all of those charges were substantiated. Yeah, and I'm like, uh, yeah. So I'm like, hey, I'd like to obviously open up a fraud claim.

hey, I'd like to obviously open up a fraud claim. And she's like, yeah, this shouldn't be a big problem. Although I will let you know that it does tend to be a little bit more of an issue if they actually successfully withdraw the money with your bank card that has a pin on it. I was like, sure, no problem. 20 minutes later, I get a call back from the branch head in like my local branch. He's like, hey, just letting you know we refunded your money. You're all good to go. Sorry about that.

You should change your pin, by the way. Obviously, it was a little too easy to guess let me know if you got any problems by the way the dodgers games are going to come back soon and we have preferred client tickets so if you ever want to go to the dodgers game let us know i was like that's a real thing and so tying this in tucker just cucked my bank experience well here's here's how i learned about this because i asked when i set up my account a couple years ago with them i was like hey just letting you know here's how I learned about this, because I asked when I set up my account a couple years ago with them, I was like, hey, just letting you know, here's all my shit that I do. If you guys have any preferred stuff, he was like, oh, yeah, we totally do, and you qualify. Great.

The one who told me about this was T. Martin. Trevor was with Chase Bank. And when he moved back to Orlando or wherever the fuck, he was like, hey, you guys should probably sign up for this. It's pretty easy you should qualify no matter where you are basically they take the top clients of whatever local bank they're in and they give them credit and so he's like i give free orlando magic tickets every weekend i don't even have to ask there's nobody else that qualified for that tier so he's like just go ahead and ask yeah if you if you're at a significant income level and you live outside of

them even i mean i live in la if you live in a city or anywhere that has like um a reason to have some preferred client stuff just ask just be like you got any preferred stuff because even if you have more than like five grand i'm sure they'll bump you up to like the you're not in poverty level to make sure here you get free no overdraft charges like we'll throw it in yeah we'll throw it in for you at least you're it's like what are your story then at least when you're preferred like your name shows up in like fully blocked text one person it's like translucent you don't quite yeah they're like what's your name again well the problem is you only have 600 in your account so I'm getting all this in wingdings

right now I was like I can't can you read this I can't help you oh my god that's too funny Kyle you're muted yours is in crayon and each letter is a different color it's a ransom note

it's like the kindergarten kid logo kindergarten cop logo i had another cousin update does he still restore vintage tractors no that's kind of like a one-off kind of thing like he knows how to paint like like uh he grew up with like me and my dad and like painting like uh cars and really anything like that um so i think he's done that maybe one or two times for some, for some guys who are in the area who have like some vintage tractors, like really old, like classic John Deere's because there is such a thing, I suppose.

Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, if you ever, if he's doing that and you're in the, you see him, I'd love pictures of that, that,

that kind of thing would. Yeah. I'd love to see restored tractor pictures. If I ever see our neighbors again, if I'm ever at their place, I'll take pictures because like, they're like super mega farmer rich. That's an interesting kind of rich.

Yeah, like thousands and thousands of acres of owned and leased land and like multiple combines, multiple semi trucks and trailers and like grain bin operating bullshit. And their hobby is collecting old timey tractors. So like so like every one of them, they're like, yeah, well, this is that one. They only made, you know, right after World War II for those three months. And then they came out with a new model six months later. And they collect them all and then restore them to, like, pristine condition with that yellow and green paint job. This one's got a small engine used to start the bigger engine.

Runs on propane on the little one and diesel on the big one. Sure. That was okay. Neat. It's funny. That Bofors gun that I shot, it had a Ducati motorcycle engine to power the turret. That was fucking cool. What do you mean?

Can you walk me through it? Because I don't understand how you'd use a motorcycle engine to power a turret. So the gun sits on a tripod and you sit inside the gun. It's like you're sitting on a chair inside the gun. And you've got a joystick to Like it's like one of those, like you're sitting on a chair inside the gun and, um, and you've got a joystick to control it. Now, if you want, if you like your engine isn't working, you can go manual controls and you can turn a wheel that goes up and down and a wheel that goes left and right. And with just minimal effort, you're rotating thousands of pounds of gun

in any direction, but it's also got a Ducati motorcycle engine on the bottom that you, you kickstart that thing. And it's just powering the joystick. So you can just like a video game and you're swinging. What's like a 12 foot long barrel hard enough to knock someone's fucking head off when you're like, I started getting it going round and round and they're like, hang on tight. If you fly out of there and it gets locked into go mode,

that tank's full of gas. That's cool of gas. There's no stopping it. That's cool. Yeah, I'm showing people the video a little bit. Don't copyright claim me, Kyle. I'll log in quickly. Kitty, get on the case. Shut it down.

Yeah, that's a bad motherfucker. Probably still for sale. I think $150 grand get you get you in that thing amazon's drained me i thought about it it's not actually 17 grand i think i thought that because i had like 1700 in credits but you get like four per dollar so it's probably a fourth of that we probably spent like you know it's incalculable but something like yeah five grand is there a way to check your total amount i know you can do oh no you don't do that i don't want to know you're right but i do kind of morbid curiosity you know what i would check if i saw i've wasted so much money on stupid nonsense just having like but a lot of it's not even like that expensive of stupid nonsense. It's like,

it's like, I want just a crazy amount of Zevia cream sodas delivered to me every month. Just enough that if I want, I can have five a day, you know? Well, that's a little excessive, but is it, you know, I saw your Zevia pile. It was an impressive pile. Yeah, that is true. And that's funny because I'll see. I shut all my auto delivery down because I'm like, I need to get through this mountain. But I had all that Zevia. And I saw a 24-pack a couple weeks ago. Kyle, you'll get this because you drink these.

And you're like, oh, that's weeks. And then the end of the night, I look over at my table. And it's like, one, two. No, I didn't have five. It's only been two hours how are you guzzling these that no i go through them that fast you know like if i'm drinking soda primary like like i fill this water bottle up three times a day and this is 64 ounces right like so 40 no not fucking so water that's why i was like jesus christ i'm just like i drink my big gulp and my kidney stones if either either i am genetically predisposed to not get kidney stones or i'm genetically predisposed not to get kidney stones because

i used to drink so much like diet soda like i would drink i mean 20 a day sometimes like when i hear five i'm like fuck i'm like five you had this kidney stone thing is it a diet soda thing or a soda thing i think i thought it was a soda thing i've never heard of it this is all new to me yeah i mean that's what i've always heard um i don't really drink a lot of regular soda i don't remember the last time i had a regular soda they they taste kind of syrupy and kind of gross in my mouth, honestly. Like a Mountain Dew. I watched a commercial of a guy. He was running, and then he stops and guzzles a Mountain Dew.

Oh, my God. In my head, I'm thinking, why don't you just get some maple syrup, you fucking asshole? Like Mountain Dew after a hard run? No way. Put yourself with some ice-cold honey. I don't drink soda. I mentioned before, the last one i had was at ruth's crisp with a steak i had a coca-cola two years ago um oh you know wait you remember the exact date that you have because he drinks them so rarely yeah i mean yeah

all right i also very rarely drink real i mean i'm sponsored by monster but i tend to drink their non-carbonated stuff but the only time that i ever think to myself man you know i could really go for a soda if we're not talking about like some sort of like club mixed drink is like mexican coke if i walk in and i see a glass bottle coke i'm like fuck it i don't care what time it is i need that like that's the good coke it's too good um the thing i've been drinking lately like i they're kind of expensive so i drink maybe one every other day or something like that it's um coca-cola zero with coffee yeah coca-cola black was what the all right uh when i went to tokyo a couple years ago they had just rolled it out and so i was like i gotta try this it's got to really good. I searched all of the vending machines, eventually found one, tried it.

Pretty not that great. It just tastes like cold coffee mixed with Coke. Yeah, that's what I have. You have a different, you want that? I love it. I love it. It's such a treat. It tastes like, I love black coffee

and I love Coca-Cola. It's Coke Zero with coffee. And it's, you know, it's a, I don't know, 12 ounce can or something like that. It tastes like Coke when you first drink it and it Zero with coffee. And it's a 12-ounce can or something like that. It tastes like Coke when you first drink it, and it finishes like coffee. And I love them. And it's not as carbonated, I think, as regular Coke. It doesn't have that.

It's not as sharp. Yeah, it doesn't give me heartburn the way some soda will. It's not as carbonated, I don't think, either. Yeah, it's really tasty. It's like the only soda I've drank in a while and I really fucking love it but you gotta buy them one at a time at the grocery store you can't get like a 6 pack or a 12 pack

and they're like I think they're like $2.20 a piece so it's like you gotta get a 2 liter of Dr. Thunder for $0.99 exactly are monsters like $4 or something at a quickie my two two for four was like the the dream deal that i was like growing up and i was like fuck yeah two monsters

four bucks like let's go i think i i don't know how much it still seems like a lot to me they are if you get like i've ordered before the 24 but i've still got a couple over there actually the 24 packs of the monster zero ultra the white color love that's the favorite flavor favorite yeah don't don't bother with the red it tastes weird don't waste your time just go orange is okay tucker's by monster they're all good no i'm very i'm very true i only i literally only drink the hydros which are just water and then and yeah good he's like and then the the ultra zeros are the ones that i drink too but yeah anything else is too sugary too sweet i don't like the yeah yeah i agree with you i like my carbonated water though like you don't seem like that much i really like the perrier's i like them

i feel gross i want to like it i want to like it and like when we would go to like a morton's or with chris they're like sparkling or still. And I remember someone ordered a bottle of sparkling water. I'm like, yeah, sure. I'll have some of that. And just being like, Oh,

I felt like white boy when he was like wanting like a fancy meal. And, and, and, and he's like, I want a glass of red wine to go with my steak. And Kitty's like, well,

this one would pair well with it. And he gets his red wine. He's And Kitty's like, well, this one would pair well with it. And he gets his red wine. And he's like, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. He put it back. He couldn't swallow it like a child. Oh, gosh. He made it pass his lips twice instead of just. Yeah.

Not into that. Then he got a Coke. Sparkling water sucks. I have Topo Chico in my fridge, which I thought I would like, right? It's a little less sodium than some of the other sparkling waters, right? Which have like 10% of your daily value. It's a lot of salt. It's the least refreshing water I've ever had.

Like sometimes I'm thirsty and I'm like, I want a couple big gulps of that water. But if it's fizzy water, have a couple big gulps and you're like like it's just like i feel definitely true with like i've definitely like had like a mostly full perrier on my nightstand before and i wake up in the middle of the night it's middle of the night you wake up and you just like or really in the middle of the night you hear the hiss and you know it's not time for that kind of drink like i'm like waking up and i'm hung over it's sunday morning i've drunk the night before and i roll over and i like and you get like four glugs in before you realize the mistake and then you just ah ah you can feel all the sizzle and everything

and then you have a huge burp you but you don't want to drink it that aggressively you have to treat it like a fine French wine. With a little bit of calcium in there. My blood test, I drink a Perrier the morning of a blood test I was doing, and my calcium was high. Wow. Because of that. Yeah. 6% of your daily calcium in one little Perrier.

Wow. So if I crush all the – fuck milk. I'm drinking Perrier. I'm giving my kids Perrier in the bottle yeah the most expensive way to get your calcium all your kids like i hate this well you need you know the doctors say eight bottles a day you need that or a shot glass of milk what do you want hey woody have uh have you watched um falcon and winter soldier i'm caught up there's three right three yeah i watched all three yesterday um i guess i like it especially

for a show that features my maybe my two least favorite of the marvel characters um you know that was uh captain america right what with the winter soldier i thought that referred to captain america is that not right no the winter soldier is captain america's best friend who he thought died but had actually been captured um repaired by the soviets and turned into a mind um washed assassin with a vibranium arm okay soviets or nazis hydra soviets oh i don't know i think yeah one or the other something like that see it was definitely cold war related uh i think it's i think it's the soviets i think i got some hammer and sickle imagery in my head that makes sense in winter you know cold yeah I think it's the Soviets.

Um, but in any case, uh, it's pretty good. You know, like one thing that annoys me is like the, the, one of the main characters, the Falcon,

he's like trying to get back with his family, his sister. And then they've got a, a Bubba Gump style shrimping boat down in Louisiana. And, uh, and they go to the bank to try to get a loan. And they get denied the loan because they haven't existed for five years, you know, because Thanos disappeared everybody for five years. And it's like, the banker made a good point.

He's like, isn't there some kind of a fund for you guys? You know, you Avenger superhero types. Or like, didn't Tony stark ever give you any money or anything and it's like he totally would have totally would have been a fund of some kind like all you'd have to do is start a fucking non-profit be like you know avengers core funding the avengers because this shit's expensive and we don't have time to work a nine to five. And like, you can donate to it. You know, it's not going into my,

certainly not going into me, Tony Stark's pocket. Don't believe that. Like there would be something like that. Or even like, like if you're the Falcon, you could stream on Twitch a couple nights a week and make a killing,

right? Like, right. Or you could do some, like you could do some sort of thing like before football games where you fly out and like you know like like do kind of an air show or something like the idea that this guy is having a hard time getting basic debt consolidation handled at a local bank for what's clearly a normal agricultural business makes no

sense whatsoever that i look i can buy that he flies around and fights crime and international and i can even buy that somehow he beat up gsp but there's no way i'm buying that this guy is hurting for cash like he's just a bad businessman yeah i i'm having a hard time getting invested in the winter soldier soldier as a whole like i kind of like the bad guys as much as the good guys i can't tell who's who you know who seems like the best guy the new captain america the new captain america checks every fucking box and we're supposed to dislike him out of loyalty to the old captain america for some reason falcon is like you know you think you're captain america have you ever dove on top of a grenade if people don't watch this the new captain america is like the most impressive soldier to have ever he's like yeah i i have dove on top of four times it's this thing i do with my helmet

it's reinforced you know it's not a big deal and i'm like oh my god this guy checks every fucking box he's like the ultimate leader bravery he doesn't have any superpowers but he is somehow still a super soldier just through bravery and guts and morale and he like scores off the charts and like the physical fitness exam. You saw him throwing the shield and he throws it like no normal human being should be able to throw it. He's as strong as a human can fucking be. He's one of those Batman type

characters who's just like the pinnacle of human fitness. Why did Captain America give him the... because Captain America did have superpowers that he got from the military, right? You don't watch the movies. Am I going to have to tell you what happened in like all the fucking movies every time this comes up? Are we just going to ignore you?

Like you should be ignored because you didn't watch the cinematic equivalent of the Magnum fucking Opus of fucking superhero films. So Captain America on a scale of one to 10 physically, he was like a one. He was a very skinny, bullied sort of guy. But he had heart and he had guts. And they managed to see that this was the person they should invest into. They gave him this blue injection.

And he turns into Captain America. I saw that one. I saw that movie. Oh, wait. I thought that was your question. Maybe I don't understand. No, no. I was remembering because you were like, because I remember kyle was saying this guy's got no superpowers and i was like oh maybe it was a step

down unless this guy also got his own blue juice and like got souped up in the same because if it made little weasley captain america super strong you're muted kyle it would make this guy yoked as hell i hear you uh no i i think they that Blue Serum is in short supply. As a matter of fact, it's one of the central premises of this Falcon Winter Soldier TV show. Someone has managed to make more of it, and they're trying to make sure it doesn't get in the wrong hands. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. The special effects are great.

They've clearly got a budget. Or that, or the people at Marvel Studios have just really figured this thing out. Like making superhero shit look good for fairly affordably. Looks good. Don't care about the story. I'm with you. Like bad guys seem like quasi good guys fighting for like, I mean, there was that one of their major crimes was when they went and like got all

that food for those refugees. Right. It's like, like this is totally going to come full circle and we're going to find out. I think my prediction is this, the bad guys are going to become the good guys. Like those like super soldiers, the,

the, the half black half ginger chick, she's going to be a good guy. And it's going to turn out that the new captain America is our bad guy. Cause they're really suiting him up for us to dislike him despite everything you said and everything I agree with. He seems like you're supposed to like him

but nobody does so he's going to be evil. He's going to be Hydra or something. There's some twist they're waiting they have planned for. Yeah, because I almost saw the opposite. They want us to not like him yet we have every reason to like him. And I'm like, why?

I like him. I guess I'm supposed to. Anyway. The internet dislikes him too. I see them doing like him versus the guy she warned you about or something like that. Hey, can we have Captain America? No, we have Captain America at home.

That's totally natural. every time they replace a loved character in any series doesn't matter what it is most people are going to go this is change I don't like this like if Ian McKellen had died before the return of the king and they had to replace him like Dumbledore and Harry Potter like you'd understand it

but you'd be like god this fucking sucks man that's not Gandalf that's not Dumbledore you know they went to Ian McKellen to replace Gandalf and Harry Potter and he you'd understand it, but you'd be like, God, this fucking sucks, man. That's not Gandalf. That's not. You know, they went to Ian McKellen to replace Gandalf and Harry Potter and he turned him down. Yeah. Oh, you know, that would have been confusing for him to play both of the biggest wizards and like, you know, fantasy canon of the last century. If you watch the new Captain America, every camera angle is upwards and unflattering on

him. Yeah. Did you catch that too? Oh yeah. Every Instagram girl knows if you put the camera above you and look down, that's your best view typically. Well, no, the, for women, but for men, it's supposed to be, sorry. I just like, I disagree.

Are you saying men looking up through the nostrils is good? No, it's no, it's a, you're supposed to, you're like, if, if you're looking straight on the cameras below you, then that's bad, but you're supposed to you're like if if you're looking straight on the cameras below you then that's bad but you're supposed to look straight on with the camera below you looking at the camera it's supposed to give you a position of authority like well i'll tell you what it does for the new captain america it makes his nose look awful it makes his whole head look gross he looks like a nerd somehow even though he's the opposite of one like he looks like a kid playing dress up because of the camera angles they use for him meanwhile he's like

an absolute chad this guy is the captain of the football team who fucks the prom queen and they managed to make him look like a nerd playing cosplay yep and and they're doing it on purpose to him yep and i'm it leaves me a little bit baffled and confused and it's ham-handed so aren't they making like a doctor strange tv show too or something like that i don't know i'm looking with wandavision i was like well maybe i'm not sure maybe the next thing will be good and with this i'm already like i don't hate it i don't hate it like i'm gonna watch it all but i'm not in love with it and uh i don't know i the thing that the real issue is the characters like like these just aren't their strongest characters um and they are the cheapest

characters to get on tv probably but uh but they're not my people they didn't want to make movies out of to me to me these are the people who missed the cut on movies, right? Like Spider-Man, Captain America, Doctor Strange. Thor. That's the A-team, the ones they made movies from. The team that's not getting movies, Wanda, Falcon, and Winter Soldier. They got a combo deal. Who else is coming out?

I'm Googling it now. Is there some uh who else is coming out i'm googling it now is there no hawkeye stuff coming out so hawkeye i don't know i thought it was going to be falcon and hawkeye that would have been so much better i like like you know a bird theme yeah wait in in hawkeye oh okay yeah it took me a second to process that they were different people i know them now yep yep yeah yeah yeah so like jeremy renner coming out um i want to see that i don't know the guy who plays the falcon has always been like my least least favorite character and it's not because he's black i just don't like him i don't like his superpowers i don't like his attitude i don't like his backstory like like he's like a sidekick sidekick like he needs to be fighting like middling level crime and like like like he's too far removed from the elite guys to be in their

company basically he's just so weak that it doesn't even make sense like like every time i see him like like i'm pretty sure i could i could take him on like like why is nobody shooting him in the feet every time he like goes to block those bullets with his wing shoot him in the feet shoot him in the feet like he him in the feet! He's just got a riot shield. He's just got a riot shield. He's not even bulletproof. And he's not like Captain America where he could take a couple bullets

and still survive it. So if this guy gets shot, he goes down the way I would if I'm shot? Yes. Oh, well, that's a terrible power. He doesn't even have a helmet. You know, he needs one. That's the reality.

Even regular army guys wear helmets. Everyone wears helmets. Little kids on tricycles wear helmets. That's true. Imagine the thing that does him in is like a CTE. Like he wrecks his bike completely off shift. He's like, well, we just lost one of the greatest superheroes we had, guys. Thanks. What happened to the Falcon? Yeah, he tripped down

his stairs moving. I want to talk about the Marvel shows coming out because they're interesting. So Falcon and Winter Soldier is the current one. Loki's next. Dude, that guy has personality. Big time. I saw the trailers

for it and I don't know i guess they need him to do something these guys are experts in who he is and he's like i would never stab you in the back and then the expert says you know i followed your whole life you've literally stabbed eight people in the back so far i would never do it again you have a special backstabbing knife. You're holding it right now, aren't you? I know it's invisible. He's just like, yes. No, this is a motor knife.

It says backstabbing. Loki steals every scene he's in. So I look forward to this show. This what if I don't fully understand, but the cast, Michael B. Jordan is killmonger sebastian stan is bucky barnes thanos mark ruffalo the hulk loki nick fury the cast is a who's who oh i was so confused because you were reading your cadence that you were reading that off was pairing them with the wrong people you were like you were like thanos mark ruffalo oh I'm sorry I was like hopefully it's

a little clearer on screen because they're looking at that no no you're it kind of goes downhill at some point though like we start getting to She-Hulk and Moon Knight so I'm a pretty big Marvel nerd one Hulk is enough I don't know who Moon Knight is isn't it canon I'm with you so Hawkeye's next Ms. Marvel it is canon there's a lot of Hulks depending on what the time period is. There's a whole family of Hulks when you go all the way forward to old man Logan days. Do they fuck in Hulk form? Yes. I want to see that. Babies come out

Hulked out. What happens if you birth a Hulk but you're not Hulked? You explode. Did you see Aliens? Now that is a birth that I could get on board with being painful. you tell me you gave birth to a mini hulk man okay that might have hurt all right maybe that did take 24 belly scars of just like i don't know like someone peeled an orange with compressed air and it just popped out

you've seen the photo of big baby right the the big baby meme no I'm a while I don't think so this is like one of the one of those babies that you look at and somebody took a photo and completely like family photo all great and whatever but then like look at the size of this oh wait what do you mean it failed look at the size of this fucking child all right it says it failed again doesn't matter no you can't write your pictures too massive for oh is that what it is yeah that's what the error message says my photo is too big there it is well that's not a good photo how big this baby is there here's an article yeah look at that god damn big. This thing is. It's a WWE veteran.

How old is that baby? Are we sure that's just not like a chubby man that's been shaved? This is like the kids that they found in the Dominican Republic to go play like youth baseball. And it's like he's 13 and it's like a full beard. This is like a behind the music like we man. Where are they now? Specific fetish now? He was born seven pounds, basically.

Okay. Do you guys know how much you weighed when you were born? No. I was eight pounds, fifteen ounces. Same. Really? Yeah. Oh, well, we were both one ounce off of nine pounds. Look at us. Look at us.

You know, that means a lot. Yeah. How's your mom's pussy? Oh, my God. I mean, it was probably pretty destroyed after I got done with it. No, no, Taylor. I thought it was fine.

Oh, okay. Oh. Sorry, Taylor. Woody, how tasteless. Yeah, welcome to the show. Dude, post-pregnancy pussy, Woody? Yeah, not a good thing. That post-pregnancy pussy.

I assume. Yeah, tier three, tearing. It's not so bad. No. Yeah, I know it's not. I mean, no, I'm only about the pure. The unsullied. So before we jump on to the next thing here,

we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. If it will open. Yes, this episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Guys, it's been a hell of a year. Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months. And if you're like me, you're feeling your hell of a year. Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months. And if you're like me, you're feeling your age more than you used to,

especially in the bedroom. Time to snap out of it. Spring is here, and it's time to get sprung with Blue Chew. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost. Blue Chew's tablets help men achieve

harder, stronger erections to combat all forms of ED. Blue Chew is an online prescription service, so no visit to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. And it ships right to your door in a discreet package. The process is simple. Sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

Best part? All done online. Blue Chew's licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription. Don't like swallowing pills? No problem there. BlueChew's Sildenafil and Tadalafil are chewable. BlueChew's tablets are made in the USA and they prepare and ship direct, so it's cheaper than a pharmacy. So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We got a special deal just for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code PKA at checkout. Just pay the $5 in shipping.

That's bluechew.com, promo code PKA to receive your first month free. We thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. That is bluechew.com, promo code PKA. Just pay the $5 in shipping. Get it for free. Very seamless, easy process. Get a hard dick. For free.

And you know what's going to happen? Before you get your dick really hard, you want to use smart mouth. No use for a hard dick without good breath. Exactly. You're going to be walking around hard and nobody's going to be interested because you stink. Everybody hates talking to someone with bad breath.

That humid, awful smell keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave. Now think of all the times you were the gross, smelly one and the other person was thinking about getting away. You probably can't think of any examples. That's because we rarely have an accurate read on our own breath odor. In other words, you could be walking around with trash mouth and not even realize you're grossing everybody out. That's why SmartMouth was invented. SmartMouth's clinically proven two-liquid formula combines to instantly eliminate bad breath and prevent bad breath from returning all day long. Rinse once in the morning for all-day clean breath and once before

bed to prevent morning breath. Just two uses a day and you'll never, ever have bad breath, guaranteed. Whether in the boardroom or the bedroom, having confidence in your breath spells success. Go to smartmouth.com slash pka now for a free coupon. You can find SmartMouth's products in the oral health aisle at Walgreens, CVS, Target, Rite Aid, Amazon, Walmart, or wherever you shop. Once again, that is smartmouth.com slash pka for your coupon. So check that out. Get yourself a hard dick.

Get yourself some great breath. You're setting yourself up for a summer of success, a summer of a lot of pussy. So there you go. A couple of wonderful sponsors. Those links are below. And we're back all right and we're back so i was uh uh i know nobody really followed the drifter thing but i was looking at another thing that i'm sure tucker's been following maybe closer than me so there's this streamer who i actually know is a fan of Woody's. His name's Ludwig. Ludwig Akron. Oh, really?

He's enormously popular and he's been doing this thing where every time he gets a sub or a gifted sub it adds 10 seconds to how long he has to stream. He's on day 25. 25

continuous days. He's at, I just checked, 220,000 subscribers on Twitch 220,000 subscribers like second highest all time Ninja's highest peak was 289,000 I believe it was during the peak Fortnite

Twitch Prime craze we're talking the most wild subathon ever when people do subathons this is what you're We're talking the most wild sub-a-thon ever. Like, when people do sub-a-thons, this is what you're thinking of. Like, let me make this person literally not be able to go off stream unless they're taking a shit. So, he's built different. It's unbelievable.

He's been streaming for 25 days in a row now? How do we handle sleep? He sleeps on stream. He sleeps on stream. Yeah. He has a race car bed. like he's been streaming for 25 days in a row now how does how do we handle sleep like well he sleeps on stream he sleeps on stream yeah he has a race car bed he sleeps on stream he's paying his mods um i think his daily expenses are eighty thousand dollars a day he pays his mods one thousand dollars every single day to moderate the chat to entertain when he's off when he's asleep they do media share the mods check the media share They do podcasts they play uno and whatever all while he just fucking sleeps

Thirty thousand forty thousand. Yeah, there's at the gym. Yeah. Yeah, they're at the gym. So he's probably just working out now It's all inside of his house I could never do this and and when he broke it down I could never do this. And when he broke it down after taxes, from what he's earning from this, after everything, like he himself is not netting nearly enough to make this worth his while in terms of like cold hard cash, right?

He's not walking away with a quarter of a million dollars after this month or a million dollars. He's walking away with like 50K after he pays his mods, pays everybody that's involved with the stream, running it, pays his mods pays everybody that's involved with the stream running it pays his taxes etc and also he already half i think half goes to charity as well so all this stuff bad good news he went from like 1.6 million followers to 2.5 million followers in a month right like he he's his average viewership went from like 18 to 20,000 small Paul, you know, fucking poverty level.

Right. So now, now he's that. Yeah. Yeah. Now he's at like, I'd be so embarrassed if I had 18,000. I know.

I'll probably hang out at like 30 K. It's really one of those. Uh, I think it's, it's a, it's a very unique situation that can't be replicated. And it also takes a special person to be able to do that, because this man is sleeping on stream.

Just last night, I slept and I was like, I think I just want my balls out, so I took my underwear off, right? The thought of going to bed and thinking, snap decision, my nuts need to free, be free, and you're on camera, that's kind of terrifying. So he's done all this without an

incident, it's pretty remarkable to say the least. I like this. You were doing the math on the money, but, and I know you're already ahead. I know you know this cause you're smart, you know, streaming,

but even if he only makes 25 grand this month out of it, only the investment that he has in himself right now, a lot of those subs are going to sub next month too. His concurrence will be higher he he could lose 50 grand this month and it would still be probably a great investment of his time for the for what his channel has become yeah next next month he's not going to lose a hundred or 205 000 subs or whatever he was in the beginning. He'll lose a good bit, but it's like, oh no, now I'm hanging out at 102,000 subs? Yeah. Well, no, he'll lose way more than that. He will probably, if I had to guess, 40,000 subs is what he'll end up at.

But that puts you in the top five on Twitch, right? We're talking about what he's doing right now is the same vein as like driving past billboards, but every billboard you drive past is Ludwig, right? And it's just, it's one of those like long plays where it's not necessarily this moment that will make him financially rich. He's still doing like sponsored streams streams and shit with multi you know with multiple companies he's done like five this month so all of them are going to be super stoked but like if you just looked at it in terms of like how much money is he making from this

negative not not enough doesn't doesn't matter but like the long term it solidifies him as one of like the main people on live stream new New York Times wrote an article about it. That's how you know it's mainstream. Yeah, it's huge. And he's gained almost a million followers in the last 30 days. Did you guys watch his squats? I'm watching him do squats, so is this stream. Let me see.

His squats were great. That looked pretty heavy. I didn't do the math on it, but it looked pretty heavy, and his form was perfect. He's better than me. They have a good group of people at his house. They work out together. That's the other

thing. Sorry. Looks like he's got Taylor Beat with the cases of soda in the background. Damn it! Oh my goodness, he does. I think that's all Yerba or whatever. Yerba Mate. How heavy are those dumbbells in front of the sodas? They look like 95 or something.

70s. Yeah, I would guess 70, 75. Okay. Well, hold on. I mean, I don't know what they're using, but I have dumbbells that look like I'm literally curling like 150, but they're all sand filled, so it's just 25 pounds, right? These look like the Iron iron hex ones to me

they look like the iron hex dumbbells but I mean you can't do something like this without also having a whole house of people like his girlfriend that he's living with they'll just make food everybody's complicit in just continuing the content which is so hard

to get anybody to jump in content compound. It's interesting. Man, you got to decompress, though. Like, I don't know. Like, just being on that long and not, like, sometimes when I'm alone, I remember when I first, like, got on my own when I was, like, 18. And just, like, yelling a curse word real loud in my own house. Like, can anybody else relate to this just be like yeah no one can no one can tell me what to say here

fuck my neighbor like pounding on the paper thin wall shut up in there you fucker this is where my head is i i can't get away like he streams himself sleeping right the internet would never stop making fun of me if i stream myself with that fucking c-pap on like i would give them control of it like let's turn woody's oxygen down and you would see what oh all right down. And you would see Woody. Alright, turn it up before he wakes up. That's so funny. I'm grumpy all day.

Turn Woody's oxygen down. Dude, I just noticed on the top of the stream chat, it has the leaderboard of things. I guess this is per week. One guy named Slime IRL gifted 4 800 slimes is um it's like i'm gonna say business manager slash friend he's also one that's like

always been on the stream but they're uh because because he he had to implement a rule that if you gifted more than 100 subs you were literally banned until the end of the subathon because some oil prints right like imagine mr. Beast comes in he's like haha welcome to my new video Ludwig never You know guys I just gifted Lugwood 1 million subscribers Literally on until October and then we got a minute would we say no to that though yes dude no imagine somebody just gifted eight minutes listen yeah all right the the thought of being like truman showed in your own home like he can't there's nothing he can really do i sleep on my couch yeah i mean yeah

you can sleep on your couch just like many people have right but it's just like i i don't think like if you stream for 10 hours a day every day people will look at you and be like man that's a lot of on-camera time this fucker is always on camera the whole time yeah like when does he jerk off probably when he showers for five minutes like these are real things you gotta think about that's true's true. I'm tempted to do this. I like, he's put this, this idea in my head. I should do this.

I should do this, but I think I'll be live for 17 minutes and then it will end. No, you got to, uh, I will get one of those, uh, ice Poseidon mobile streaming things, hire a cameraman,

a cheap one, and let's just go about my life. That's a big investment for a 17 minute stream. Yeah, that's true. But for a 17 minute stream guy yeah but i'm saying if like as you you know threw out there like someone like if like mr beast or some saudi oil prince that wants to make him dance be like all right fuck it i'll take five million dollars to just live on camera forever now you're overvaluing yourself here i think we'd all do it for five million

dollars but the thing is how many what's a million worth yeah can you do the rules again tucker like what does it take to prolong his stream i think it's every subscription or gifted subscription adds 10 seconds to the timer um media share which you have to pay for by the way i think it's six or maybe it's 20 cents a second for media share so basically when he's asleep you can donate here's uh i can't do math here's 20 so 100 seconds of of uh my favorite youtube video with no copyrighted music or whatever it's a bunch of memes it's you know it's good time like he's asleep every time i wake up and i'm looking at it um But that doesn't prolong the timer. It is just subs and gifted subs. So you can only gift up to 100 subs.

If you gift more than 100 subs, you're automatically banned and you no longer can gift subs. Like Nightbot bans you, you're gone. Yeah, I could never sustain. No. 10 seconds for a gifted sub. I would get, I don't know, 500 seconds.

Well, thanks for coming out to the stream. And here's the fucked up thing that I don't think, 500 seconds? Well, thanks for coming out to the stream. And here's the fucked up thing that I don't think we talked about. He was at one minute. He was at sub one minute two days ago. And he was at under four minutes for, all right, maybe I'm stretching, for over a day. I tuned in. He's at four minutes. And I was like, oh, today's the day.

That's what this timer is, this 12-minute thing. Yeah, right. So at that night, so three days ago, I tuned in. No, it was when my parents were in town. So they left Friday. So Thursday night, he was at like an hour. And I was like, oh, it's going down. And then two days later, I was like, he's at four minutes.

It's finally done. I woke up the next day. He's at four minutes. I was like, he's at four minutes. It's finally done. I woke up the next day. He's at four minutes. I'm like, today's the day. Wake up the next day. He's at one minute. I'm like, today's the day.

I wake up the next day. He's at 24 hours. So like a bunch of people, I just ended up gifting 100 subs each, and they all got banned. And so that's why we're now prolonging this fucking thing another three days. I think he was at sub four minutes just a few minutes ago oh really yeah i didn't know what i was looking at so but yeah he's at sub 12 right now you know he's just do you think he's gonna walk over and pull the plug the moment it happens no he said when he when he initially started i believe he said that he could see this going for a month and my dumb ass was like no right like there has to be a conceptual upper limit into how much money

people can spend into it but when it becomes a cultural movement when it becomes not just about what ludwig's fans want but it becomes truly a twitch phenomena like you saw with um fuck it what was that that uh twitch plays pokemon right where like like even random my mom sent me an article about this and she's like you know anything about this guy and i was like yeah it's this fascinating story when my mom is getting articles about it this and she was like, you know anything about this guy? And I was like, yeah, it's this fascinating story. When my mom is getting articles about it, that's when he knows somebody who's like, I don't know about Twitch,

but this seems funny. Here's five bucks. Right. It becomes a whole different thing. So, uh, why do they squat outside the rack? Is anyone still watching?

I'm fascinated by this stream for some reason. I think, uh, I think they're squatting outside the rack because otherwise all the action would be on the far left side. Trying to figure it, I imagine. I see a lot of people squat outside the squat rack. I always do it within the squat rack. Yeah, yeah.

I would have taken probably two headers in the last five months. Yeah. That's why I bought the squat rack. So I can do it inside there. You know what I want? I want a rack mountable easy curl bar. My easy curl bar, it's not as wide. And I want to do curls in the squat rack.

It's my squat rack. I can do it if I want to. I might buy one. Defending people who are like, Woody, you can't do curls in your own squat rack. That's bad form. I can't believe it. Yeah, I guess in the gym that's the worst offense. It is an awful that would be really nice to have like a nice long curl easy curl bar for

that purpose this is like just you know a week or two ago now that like for a while i had this old bullshit like marcy flat bench that i got years ago and it's too crappy to bench on or anything and so i would just like i don't like bending all the way to the ground like some peasant to pick up my easy curl bar so i just i just left it on there and i thought like okay the weight of this will hold it on there and it was like you know maybe 10 minutes after i'm going to bed and it's like that kind of you know you know and i hear just bang bang freaked out and I like carefully checked around my house

and then like when I got to the basement I realized I was a retard and it just fell off but how much did you curl out of your silverback you broke the bench

well it just rolled off the bench I choose to believe it collapsed shattered it I mean on there at the time it's a wicker bench

of course yeah it was a wicker bench it was probably 110 on there at the time oh that a wicker bench of course it was probably 110 on there at the time that's a lot more than I thought yeah I'd curl that yeah but yeah I can run

yeah exactly yeah sure I remember like when I was little my dad used to be like don't run like you're mad at the ground like you just stop you're just big the ground. You just stop. You're just big stopping. It's my huge feet slamming down.

How am I supposed to run? Just ungainly and badly right down. Am I doing it? Let's get you into hockey. Let's get you into a different form of modality. So, yeah, that's great for him that really is a cultural thing on twitch at least that he's doing it's really really sick i didn't know all the details you were saying tucker about like paying his mods that much and i think it's some sort of thing

because a lot of times i would pop in there it's some other guy i'm not familiar with uh just running it for hours on end yeah i mean he i mean, if I'm going to be honest with you, probably the most exorbitant amount of money that's ever going to change hands from like a streamer to a mod team. Like people do pay their mod teams, especially if those mods end up being like, I'm scheduling the games for you and I'm updating everything. If they're almost more personal assistants,

but he's got 17 mods that he's paying a thousand bucks a day or something like that for, on top of, you know, allowing them to get promos. I think this is one of those perfect storms. There's no shot that you could even, like, convince me to do any of this or, like, have enough people that could back me up with content when I'm asleep or, like, even remotely find 17 people I would pay a thousand dollars a day to, like, not ruin my career

when i'm asleep oh just go over a lot of trust no you want to go over to the wings of redemption mod team perfect yeah real stand-up guys over there just ruin your marriage not your career yeah they'll just sabotage your relationship uh jesus under the table yeah it's not hard every one of these guys has good squat form. You're still watching us squat? I'm fascinated by this stream. Oh, oh, oh. The spotter did his job.

The spotter helped him up, but he was going down and he wasn't in the rack. Well, this is also to me one of those interesting things where Twitch, Justin.tv started out as a life streaming platform.

The people that founded Justin TV, 24 seven live stream cameras set up in their apartments. Like the whole concept of the platform was to stream yourself doing everyday life things. And then they eventually pivoted because they had signed, um, some Dota two organizer organizations. I don't remember. I think it was EG and some other people, but they said, Hey, we're going to sign you to exclusively stream Dota two among other e-sports stuff on our platform. And that's what really kicked off the gaming sphere. And then eventually the IRL part fizzled out. So funny, 12 years later, full circle circle now it's like the life part of live streaming is way more easy to get into and also you see way more people tapping into like the just chatting section or

cooking or not even streaming video games that it really is like a complete 360 so now we're sitting right back where we started i got um temporarily kicked off of twitch for streaming irl stuff i didn't even know it was against the rules what'd you do i was um i was doing home repairs like fixing gutters in the rain that were dripping and uh i don't know just hanging out with the stream i think i had a promo video to make so i streamed me making the video and i think i edited it with the stream they had good ideas that made it better than it would have been. It wasn't like anything that is naughty in the slightest. No, I know what you mean.

But the admins came and they're like, what do you got to stream games? But I was multitasking. I'm literally fixing gutters on a ladder. What do you mean? How long ago was this? Five years ago. Yeah, okay. Five years ago they were really weird about this stuff. Yeah, and the admins were telling me in chat to stop,

and my stream even got cut off. I didn't know what happened. My key changed or something. I brought it back up. I was like, sorry, guys. Weird. I don't know. And then the admin managed to get my attention.

He's like, Woody, that was me who shut you down. Stop coming back. You're not allowed to do this. Yeah, such a weird thing. I was like, oh, man man I never had any malicious intent I thought this was people were enjoying the stream just live streaming in general

and it's crazy that it took another three years or two years after that after five years ago to make it it's about right yeah anyway now they're all biggest stream probably going on at the moment is a guy weightlifting.

Summit's got like 70,000 people watching him. What is, is he playing DTRP? I turned it off, but I just glanced. He's probably got like, you know, DTRP or stuff. I mean, it's crazy how it, to me, it is wild scaling that Twitch has done, not just like we were talking about Ninja and that, that was kind of like a unique flash in the pan that really solidified streaming and gaming as a mainstream

thing, but to look at the current climate of how many people are averaging over 30,000 viewers, and I'm talking American speaking, fucking Brazilians are out here just like 200,000 concurrent, you know, live streams, YouTube, a million concurrent live stream viewers.

Spanish speaking is incredible right now, or I guess will be incredible continuously. Like it's wild to look at this and then go back five years where if you broke 10,000 viewers, like you were the upper echelon. There is nobody bigger than you on the planet and now it's pub g mobile has 1 billion downloads and the guy who plays pub g mobile has 300 000 concurrent viewers on on youtube just such a different and also very aggressive growth of the of live streaming in general yeah it's huge and nowadays the youtube that's not where the money comes from either you know ad youtube oh yeah that's it it can it can be good but like it seems like it's all about

the streaming money yeah if you if you have a good cpm then it's always about youtube and stuff i found i asked a friend of mine he was like yeah I put ads every mid-roll ads every four minutes I was like what the fuck don't people hate you for that no everybody runs ad blocker so allegedly what do you do for ads like do you set up to when to play your ads because I I don't have anything set up I think it automatically plays to non-automatically oh are you talking about twitch ads yeah legally I'm not allowed to discuss what I do. However, I will say that you will get ads every... You will get pre-roll ads for anybody that's joining your stream unless they are subbed.

Unless you run something like one minute of ad every 15 minutes. That will disable the pre-rolls for your subs. And I don't know know i still don't believe that's true that's kind of where i'm at with this yeah there's some there's a press release that they they talked about it you can it's you have to run in a an exorbitant amount of ads to disable pre-rolls pre-roll ads for an hour which is the big problem whenever you're jumping between streams i don't get ads you don't get problem whenever you're jumping between streams. I don't get ads. You don't get ads because you're a Twitch partner. I'm a

Twitch partner. We don't get ads. That's part of the baked-in thing right now. You mean as a viewer? As a viewer, if you're a Twitch partner, you're not supposed to be served ads. However, they are fucking that up, too. I do get ads sometimes. I get ads all the time. I didn't know that was a perk of being a partner. And I'm a Twitch Turbo user. I'm like, I'm paying you money. Like, what the...

It's just one of those things. But yeah, there's... That's the only way Twitch makes money. That's like, I've always... I should have just done my own research, but I've always been so confused. Like, little dashboard there where it's like, run an ad. A minute. Run an ad. Two minutes. And I'm like, so am I just supposed to be like, alright.

An ad. And then just... I just sit there for a minute. I run ads to disable... I run ads to disable pre-roll ads specifically when i'm like going to the bathroom hit a hit a you know like hit a minute or whatever go to the bathroom it's just my fucking screen i know we all hate ads too but also like if i'm watching the stream and they're going to the bathroom i'll just tab into the other stream that i'm watching right like mute that one go to the bathroom, I'll just tap into the other stream that I'm watching, right? Like mute that one, go to the other one. It's fine.

So that's the only the fewest ads I could everything. How often do you want to run ads like never? Do you want to run free rolls? No, no, no. Because it seemed like if I smashed people with ads, I could make like $9. And if I chose the minimum, I'd make like point $9. And I'm like, Oh, it's not worth it to me to abuse them with ads for an eight dollar spread. Like I'd much rather have happy viewers. Still the case.

The Twitch CPM is a locked in at like. OK, actually, let me tread waters carefully. At a previous point, the Twitch contracts did have a set cpm where you would get paid x amount of money when you ran an ad the thing was just like you said every streamer realized like this is not worth me running ads because i'd rather just say can i get one sub you've offset my ad right and now and now 3 thousand people aren't inconvenienced by it So I think they are changing that I can't speak to it because I've already signed my exclusive twitch contract So I'm already locked in something

But if they were to incentivize people running ads it would have to come in the form of making it worth their Financial time and everybody knows if especially you guys coming from YouTube and machinima time and everybody knows if especially you guys coming from youtube and machinima like ads do pay a fuck ton if you're not getting the creator cut but if you're getting the like wholesale where it's like 50 cpm which is what samsung is paying and then the creator is like here's a dollar yeah that's for your good work and you're like what the fuck a dollar a thousand concurrence yeah yeah like i said it two subs is worth as much to me as being an asshole about ads for six hours yeah it's kind of wild just don't do that yeah try to make your subs happy but yeah anyway yeah it's complicated ludwig's down to three minutes but he's's not. He will tomorrow. He will be streaming.

I will bet $50 that he will be live tomorrow. Still, I'm going to I didn't know that I'm going to utilize that pre-roll info. Like when I go to the bathroom now, I'm going to start running ads because what I used to do is just like, all right, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Here's a video I have pulled up of a monkey fighting. And you can do that. You can still do that. Pull the video up of the monkey fighting your subs and those that are not within the normal territories. Right. that pull the video up of the monkey fighting your subs and those that are not within the normal territories right all my like indian in jordan like lebanon like every middle east person like fuck you guys i'm not subbing i don't get ads they don't serve ads in india they don't but like yeah

you should just do it anyways because then some random guy coming to see your channel doesn't get hit with a three minute unskippable shit i I copied the shit out of your stream the other day. I was like, Oh yeah, I got a notification. It got yours on my phone. I was like, let's do a Tucker's up to.

And like you were, what was I doing? You were, uh, messing around. You weren't in the beginning of the stream is the middle. You were doing like a higher, lower game.

And then a little later. Yeah. Higher, lower Fridays. Yeah. You did geo guess. I was like, dude,

both of these look like so much fun just to shoot the shit. I'm stealing this from Tucker. I'm buying geo guesser premiumr premium because i i'm gonna play one more than one game and i'm gonna do higher lower which like like an arrogant so higher lower woody and kyle anybody listening it's a game you go to higher lower oh no google sorry yeah and uh it just shows like an image of like a search and then another search on google from 2016 it'll be like the olympics versus antidepressants and you have to and let's let's say it says the olympics got 1.2 million monthly searches in 2016 you have to guess does antidepressants get more or less than 1.2 million searches per month and then if you get that one right in 2016 so you always have to be remembering

it's like adele wait this is going to be pretty big actually okay let's let's remember that and so you try and guess my biggest streak ever i got to 47 and i was very proud of that holy shit you must all right i've gotten to like 22 and i had like a stint of five where it was like it was like what's what's more crazy like the 15th king of mongolia or spotify and i'm like well this one like this one's easy but then every once in a while it's like um michael jackson yeah and jack nicholas and they'll both be a million and you get a freebie i got a couple of those that say yeah it's called higher or lower for those who are watching these are the these are i i i haven't i don't play games on fridays i just stream internet things i look at zillow houses. I, you know,

I, I do higher, lower geo guesser is one of my all time favorite games. It is so, it is so addicting to, uh, and they've done so much since I started playing where it used to just be like,

you can make a map, like good luck to now they have battle Royale. They have, um, closest to their minute. It's not, it's literally,'s literally i i i'll give you i'll give you a thousand dollars if the stream ends by the time that we're done with this podcast there's like okay where do i lose in this all right you don't you don't lose i was just hoping that you're

generous yeah you already cucked me at the bank you can do it there's no way geo what the fuck is it called geoguessr Kyle Woody have you guys ever played this game no basically you like hit play and it puts you into I've mostly done just the open world version

and it puts you into a random road in a random country of the world and you have to click around figure out puts you into a random road in a random country of the world. And you have to click around, figure out where you are with like road signs and clues, and then try and click in the world as close as you can get to your beginning position. And sometimes it's really fucking hard if you're like in a rural area and it's like, all right, well, this is, we're driving on the right miles per hour, you know, clearly America. There's a lot of trees. so this could be georgia could

be tennessee might be alabama maybe mississippi northern florida missouri and it's like all right we're not really narrowing it down we need to find something it's easier when you get like europe or uh no i got like the us i was looking at all of the um manhole covers when i go into the inner city areas and you can usually like read a city name there what is your tip because everybody in my chat was like dude you're just great at this you know what's so fucked up is I'm like I think I'm good Ludwig Ludwig is is is like another tier above and then there's um the geoguessr wizard on YouTube, this guy literally, like, it's offensive. Like, there's no, he's not cheating.

He'll find a rural town in northwest Brazil with a population of 35 people and get it right on the mark. I mean, like, the amount that, like, I've gone to, like, map porn. You know that Lithuania is the only Eastern Bloc country that lists their cities on the road signs from furthest to closest,

but every other Eastern Bloc lists them closest to furthest. So if you see that, and you see a slash through an L, or a little Z with a little accent, Lithuania, or red dirt, it's gotta be South America or

Australia. The Battle Royale mode has an affinity for Bhutan, Lesotho, or Eswatini. Those three countries will almost always appear. Those last three things weren't even real. Stop fucking with us. No, I know.

He's trying to trick us into thinking Eswatini is a place. Well, they're all like Botswana. It's like Southern Africa. I think everybody should just martini's a place well they're all like it like like botswana it's like southern uh africa it's just i think i think everybody should just it is you can play one game for free or it's like eight bucks a month to sub it is my i'm bored and i'm going to fill 30 minutes of my time because they have like daily challenges where it's two minutes and 30 seconds they'll just throw you

out there people cheat in this game you can cheat it's very apparent and 30 seconds. They'll just throw you out there. People cheat in this game. You can cheat. It's very apparent. You got to like view source, find the GPS coordinates, put it into Google, and it'll tell you. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, don't be a guy.

Just fucking guess. What's the point? But also realize that if it's a straight road, if it's a long straight road, it's probably Russia or Brazil. And if you see over ground gas pipes, like there's a road and there's a long straight road, it's probably Russia or Brazil. And if you see over ground gas pipes, like there's a road and there's a gas pipe,

it has to be Russia or Eastern Bloc. Nobody else does that. It's just... Alaska, maybe? No? No. I promise it is not Alaska. Yeah, it's weird. Man, I want to play more so I learn these little tricks of the trade. We should, you know know we can do uh

next we'll figure it out we should play head to head we can do little like we can play the same map at the same time and then like oh yeah it'll be a good it'll be a good time you'll have a nice shit talking geo guesser stream i'm like oh yeah oh you bet you didn't see that flag and you're like what flag where's the flag and i'm like a couple streets over better go look for it because i'm i'm locked in northwest argentina it's gotta be every once in a while like i'd be like anybody have any ideas on this like because someone was like don't talk to chat and it's like yeah oh which streaming right now dude like i'm gonna talk to chat oh i minimize my chat there's no help it is only me in that moment yeah oh so if i'm a viewer i think I prefer to be actually that's one of the big ways. I measure a twitch streamer How are you paying attention to me right? No, and I am I am fully engaged with twitch chat any other time

But however when we're doing GeoGuess I'm talking at them and this is their time to celebrate in that one of them googled where it is and now they all know And so they all like haha dumb fucking streamer doesn't know this is like Bismarck, North Dakota. What an idiot. Right? It's like a us versus them because otherwise

some kid is from there and he's like, how do you not know Pepe's pizza? It's my next door pizza from New York. I played chess on stream. Dude, on one hand, chat is amazingly good at chess. I suspect they might be using a computer, but in any case, every move they made was the perfect move.

The downside is it takes them 90 seconds to get it to me, and this is timed chess. So it's like, do you want to make the perfect slow move or your own fast move? For chess, if you're playing the 10 minute games, because I do, I have started, I do enjoy it. And I'm also very new to chess. So for me, it's nice to try and play solo. And then what I'll normally do if I'm like really caught up in the very dark trances of 500 ELO where nobody really knows what they're doing.

I'm like, you know, I'll like throw out what I want to do and then I look at chat and you know allowed to be like no Yes, because if they start saying like a5 to c3 like I just kind of glaze over, but it's like bad move all right I readjust there's too much with chess for me to like read put it in the board and get it Then you have the fun streaming like what days are you the most Friday it's always like alright fucking easy Friday we're gonna have a good time all I do is get up I get up I get to stream I have drinks in the fridge

we just do GeoGuessr we look at weird Zillow homes we look at Sotheby's like the elite of the elite just go through gaudy awful taste homes and then you know play like who wants to be a millionaire look at meme videosaudy, awful taste homes and then, you know, play like who wants to be a millionaire? Look at meme videos on Reddit for two hours

and that's the stream. Like there's no, I don't do anything. I just enjoy, right? Like that's my favorite. It's just- I did even less than that recently. Like this green screen, I just downloaded a bunch of backgrounds

of places where people I can do impressions of might live. And for four hours the other day, I was just like, now I'm in Springfield. I'm going to try and work on Homer. Exactly. And people are like, go to Do Obama is Russian.

It's like, oh, this is fun. It is. It's a blast because, like, you know, you do get ripped on it. It's like, that's not even fucking close. And I had to be like, no, guys, we're in the workshop, man. We're in the workshop. I got to make sure I'm bringing the best. We're planning.

We're planning. We're figuring it out. Remember how terrible Homer was? Now it's slightly less terrible. Yeah, he still sounds Canadian. We'll get past it. We'll figure it out. It's fun to me when you're doing an Indian accent and 10 sentences in, they're Australian.

I don't know. I like when that happens. It's like, ah. Then it changes in yeah if the accent goes on long enough everyone turns into alex jones yeah if you're trying to anybody gruff it just quickly becomes him down there did you see that i saw a clip on on twitter i didn't look deep into it or anything, but somebody retweeted and was like, everybody look at this video of Alex Jones stopping a child trafficker near like some place.

He was like, it's like this guy and who knows? Like it seems way too perfect and set up, but I don't know. But like he's basically like in front of a car that's full of kids and a guy and he's like standing in front of the car like, I know what you're doing. You're taking these these kids you do not have a permit for these kids this is a child trafficker i will not no and like the guy starts to pull and he's like leaning forward

cartoonishly to like stop a car like you're a child trafficker like try and try and find it on on twitter here jesus christ i gotta say that for all the, this is not me discounting the fact that it is absolutely a big problem. But like every time I had a connecting flight through the Atlanta airport, like the overhead PA system every five minutes was like, if you see any kids that are uncomfortable, please report it to the nearest like guard. Atlanta is the number one child trafficking destiny, like, you know, or like changeover or like inside the bathroom stalls in Atlanta airport. Every bathroom stall is like, if you are a victim of child trafficking, call this number. We will save you. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm just inattentive, but I've flown through this airport a lot, hundreds of times. Never seen anybody be child traffic through here.

Like, it's just like they're very heavy handed with it. And I'm like, is child trafficking a serious thing that's actually happening all the time? It is. Well, it is. But it's not in plain sight. That's what I was saying. I was like, I don't know if this is a really big problem. It has become a QAnon thing where Matt Gates

Matt Pizza Gates Not all Republicans, but the buffoon wing of the Republicans are just excited about child trafficking and love to believe that we've got a real problem with like vampire democrats hollywood actors who are pedophiles you guys didn't get your i don't think you have to frame it that way to say that like there is definitely a child there's child trafficking problem i'm just i was just saying i didn't know how like this has changed is and every time I hear about like trafficking

it's not what I think it is like you know why is it not the biggest story in the world that like 42 kids were saved by the police and it's like oh because they were actually like divorced parents who just kept them six hours too long and you're kind of making it out to be something it is

there's always data points of truth all over the place but I think just like you can absolutely recognize that it's a problem that we have to, that we have without being like it's demons and, you know, definitely cool bullshit. It always turns out to be divorced parents who kept their kids past the border. Well, the same thing with the border, though. You know, like, like, take a guess at how many unaccompanied minors there were coming across the border last month from Mexico. Over the course of a month?

Yeah, I'll go with 20,000. 20 sounds good. Yeah, it was 20,000. It was like 18,500. Never second guess yourself, man. That's the biggest rule in GeoGuess, right? And that's how many they caught, right? You go and you're like,

ah, it's Eswatini, and now all of a sudden it's Angola. Who thought? You get lost in the woods. So they caught 18,500. So who knows what the real number is, right? That's unaccompanied minors. Unaccompanied minors.

Is that meant to be child trafficking? That means literally under. Or would they not be accompanied if they were? No, no. Child trafficking. All right. Not a lawyer. I do believe that in the strictest in the strictest sense, it means you are bringing a person under the age of 18 across state lines that you are not the parent or legal guardian of like you are getting somebody into a country illegally. I know this because Molly Moll, the famous producer slash human trafficker,

ended up getting a bunch of people green cards through not-so-normal methods and then was charged for human trafficking. So, like, there's, like, I guess it's a wide umbrella that covers a lot of people. Less despicable, very nasty. You know, very wide gamut here. Atlanta airport that I was talking about, probably the worst part of those. So human trafficking is the use of force, fraud, or coercion to obtain some type of labor.

Yeah, so fraud, like saying, like, hey, I'll bring you over here and get you uh give you you know get you a visa but you gotta like fucking work in my compound is that's yeah but you'll be an indentured servants for this you know giant company or whatever you know whatever restaurant in my area that they made that thai food no i'm sure that was the food it was fantastic no i did not stop going just because they were guilty of human trafficking. The food was great. Jesus. You got patronizing a restaurant where they caught the human traffickers.

Taylor, I told you the food was good. Why are we still talking about this? Taylor, if I stopped eating at all the places that hired people that were not legally allowed to work there, I would not have a lot of restaurants to eat at. We'd all be very hungry. We would all be very hungry. We would all be very hungry. That's my new weight loss plan. It'd be funny if like,

it ended up being real. And they're like, well, I'm still going. They make the best pie in the city. That's literally what I did. They serve as child predators. It's like, but, cobble! Because they knew, they knew right away that in order to distract from the children being right in the basement, we need to make the most delicious pizza pie anybody's ever had.

People need to be raving so loudly about the pizza upstairs, they can't hear the screams of rape happening below. I walk in there. I'm like, I want this. I want it hot. They're like, Thai hot or white person hot? And I'm like, white person hot,

but just keep it between us. Thai hot. That, I mean, did you, all right, I had a run in. So I'm,

since I recently moved, I was like, I gotta go around the block, eat the local joints. And I, there was this ramen place and I went and I sat down and they're like,

hey, we have, you know, spicy, Takatsu ramen, you know, pork based, all this stuff is like fucking wonderful looks good got great reviews she goes how do you how hot do you want

it it was like what's your scale and they go we have not hot and we have our hot and i was like it's not a good scale it's just too terrible i was like i'll have your hot and she goes are you sure and i was like i don't know if i'm being profiled, but I do like hot food. I will, yes, please give me your hot, and she brings the bowl back. I'm not joking. Like, this was like the, it was very near the perfect borderline between I'm very uncomfortable and not enjoying myself,

and also, like, I have to finish this. They will make fun of me because I'm white. Like, I need to eat this food, and like, because, like, she asked if I was okay with it, and i said yes and now i'm like i'm not really okay like sobbing into my napkin like yeah like sweating buckets like i'm glad when they make the distinction between like we got hot like it's very hot white people hot thai hot and then just like it's just capsin poured on your

food yeah like here or i've even had them it's like hot thai hot and then laos hot yeah india laos and just just chili peppers and that's it like smarmy white people at like dairy heavy restaurants in like wisconsin being like oh that's really fun for you do you wantmy white people at like dairy heavy restaurants in like Wisconsin being like, oh, that's really fun for you. Do you want the white people amount of dairy or would you rather go with your amount, you know, which would be better for you? Oh, look at that fellow over there. Yeah, he opted for the white people amount of dairy. Would you like a sour cream on top of cheese?

Would you like the white amount of fried chicken or the black person amount of fried chicken? Oh, I want the black person amount of fried chicken. There's watermelon juice on it. Jesus Christ. Was that racist or something? I like hot sauce. Come on. We're doing black.

We were all profiling food. That's such a funny way to say it. I've never tried watermelon on it. Watermelon juice on it? I don't even think that's such a funny way to say it. I've never tried watermelon on anything. Watermelon juice on it? I don't even think that's a thing. I know, that's why this is a problem. We were all tip-toeing within the realms of very real things that have happened,

and then you just came out of left field with like, nobody does this. You know, I thought asshole dairy waitress towed the line pretty well. I don't know. I thought asshole dairy waitress towed the line pretty well. I can't eat my fried chicken without a good bit of hot sauce. I can't eat anything. I can't eat most things without hot sauce.

What's your go-to? That's a great question. What are we eating? You know, you got to have your poultry hot sauce, your breakfast hot sauce, your beef hot sauce, your fish hot sauce. I put sriracha on just about everything.

I mean, if I had my daily driver's sriracha, Secret Aardvark is probably one of my favorites. Love it. Never heard of it. It was on Hot Ones a couple seasons ago. And now I'm locked in. They sell it in packs of three or six or whatever. Order on their site. I like some of the basic bitch stuff.

I like Crystal. crystal um good for louisiana yeah yeah um but uh but yeah i've got some mad dog 357 in the in the fridge that's not fun i i just use tiny amounts of it i use tiny amounts of it like in a whole dish like if i'm making chili like there's gonna be like a teaspoon of that going in. It gets you hot, but it doesn't add any flavor at all. Yeah. Yeah. It's just pure heat. It's almost chemically hot.

Yeah. Mad Dog is like is not a fun hot sauce. Aardvark is my favorite. It's the hottest on everything hot sauce because any more than that and I'm going to be like a little drippy. El Yucateco, the green El Yucateco is one of my favorites and then outside of that it's oh, there was a

like a carrot habanero that I had that was like one of those, you know, like pick one of your weird hot sauce stores that's like our local person. I don't know if you could get anywhere but it was really good. Carrot and habanero and orange

I guess. But I used it in marinade for some jerk chicken. Fire. Yeah they got one made of carrots called tango chili. Interesting. Yeah he's a lot of sriracha though. I like that on scrambled eggs. I don't like sriracha. Like if I'm doing stir fry.

It's good on scrambled eggs. It's good on stir fry like like there's it's good on scrambled eggs it's good on stir fry like you said it's good on uh i eat a ton of indian food so you just what's your favorite indian dish oh my god uh merchy tikka you know like some good clay cooked chicken very spicy or uh i mean everybody's a fan of Tiki masala. I like, I do like, I like, I like butter chicken. I like curry. I like the,

I like a good dish that I can eat with rice and that has like its own sauce. Merchie Tika. Butter chicken, curry and rice is my go-to. I ate a lot of Indian cause I work with a lot of Indians, but, um, it is a good way to get fat.

Butter chicken, curry and rice will plump. I mean, there's a whole ton of butter and butter chicken yeah go figure like not you're just scooping it yeah um i like lamb vindaloo a lot like uh and i get it like indian people fucking hot um that shit is so good and so but like when i eat something like that i bring a box of kleenex and i'm blowing my nose multiple times when you get

the uh the clear like takeout dish and you can see the puddles of like transparent red grease on there and you're like i'm gonna shit myself yeah that's red chili oil yeah tough yeah it's kind of a basic bitch one but uh on eggs scrambled eggs in the morning i like either just tabasco or habanero tabasco i feel like it's really really sharp i don't like i never i don't know why because they used to have tabasco cheez-its that my parents would get and i don't i don't know if i just don't like the um because tabasco is vinegar based right yeah yeah i do like vinegar based barbecue sauce but for hot sauce unless it's going on like a po'boy, like Louisiana style or like Creole style stuff, I don't like vinegar-based hot sauces.

I don't know why. It's just like a weird tang to it almost. I like the tang. I like the kick. You like the tang. Same reason I like pickles. I love pickles. Zero calories.

You get that nice sharp spike. I didn't know that they had zero because i'm a dumb ass right it's literally water and vinegar and right so i'm like looking at my like i was like i'm hungry i was eating a pickle i looked at the nutrition facts i'm like zero is it what kind of zero cucumber is not zero i think it's literally zero literally five or something yes it's whatever it's like one person so it's just a cucumber the thing about like nutrition labels is that they round up or down they're always going to round um down with something that's like five calories or below they're gonna say zero so yeah there's some

pickles and i mean there's some calories and pickles but you're gonna burn three calories opening the fucking jar like yeah yeah and it takes you more to digest it, just like celery, than it does the energy you get from it. A medium four-inch pickle is seven calories. Like, you can munch down. Slow down, chief. And that's the whole pickle, too. That's like, you're crunching on your pick.

Oh, you're stopping at one pickle for... Well, I usually get the spears because I like them next to my sandwiches. What a... Say it. my sandwiches what a Man what a what a cheat snack you know yes It's always the people like you who don't have weight problems who are like you know us something I found out today And it's like yeah, you know Like find me the secret spells of zero Meanwhile literally today. I texted texted my friend i was like man do you guys know

how hard it is to eat 2 500 calories like this is a lot of food that i gotta ingest to put on weight like oh i mean like 40 grams of protein pump those numbers up that is barely more than my basal metabolic rate no i'm eating more than that. I was talking about, because I just started putting a collagen protein in my coffee every morning. It's 20 grams of protein, but it's soluble in up to like 300 degrees.

So it's great for coffee, no flavor at all. But it's, you know, like I'm not a big breakfast guy. I don't like eating breakfast, but I also can't gain weight and weight lift and like subsist off of no breakfast, two meals. And like, I'm working out in the morning. So like stuff like that, I was just like, okay, we'll give it a go. What kind of lifting are you doing? Cause I remember a while back you were just doing cardio and you're like, I got to get into the lifting. Uh, yeah. So I bought a, I bought a, not a bench. I bought a, uh, like a, a fucking, no, I bought a, yeah, I bought a, I bought a, not a bench, I bought a fucking, no, I bought a bench, but not a bench press, so I only have free weights.

So I've just been doing literally shoulders, chest, upper body, and I hate doing leg workouts and lower body at home. Now that I got my vaccine, getting back into the gym, weight, you know, like give me a leg press, like get like give me something active. I can't do I don't like doing body weight exercises unless it is core or upper body. I just it's not fun. You're already like a huge runner. Like I actually I know someone who's like he loves lifting weights, but he runs incredibly like long, regular distances. And so he's like, yeah, I do. You know why I never have a leg day? Because I run eight miles at a time. That's my entire leg day.

When I come to the gym, I'm working on all the things that aren't getting hit when I'm running. You know, because I don't need you guys who are like, oh, you did 30 minutes of cardio afterward? Well, that's really neat. Yeah, I ran eight miles. I'm not doing that. And so I understood his point of view.

Like, it makes sense. Well, I mean, I'm trying to to i literally have to cut back on cardio because i've never put on weight i am probably at like the like like the best equilibrium between fit and and and uh and heavy like i don't know the correct word right that i've ever been but i still don't have like the definition throughout my body so i gotta get a i honestly like i'm past the point where i'm capable of doing this myself like i need a professional to be like here's all the ways that we can reduce this and build it up because pandemic was great i'm coming out of it probably as fit as i did coming into or as i was coming into it like

more muscular which is for me what i was looking at because i've always been such a gangly scrum like scrawny dude it's just been so hard to put on any amount of like reasonable muscle mass and have it stay too yeah because i bet like because your natural diet is much lower than what you're forcing yourself to eat and so like with your like natural inclination i imagine you would eat a bunch put on some muscle and be like awesome back to my comfort level of an ingestion wait what the fuck they're going away literally i i mean also like i have a i have a hard time um i i grew to learn to love doing like upper body lifts and workouts because i hated lifting weights there's something about runners high and just getting into that zone where like it really is special where you just forget about doing anything and then it's 35 minutes later and

you've run three miles and you're like i guess i'm free to eat literally anything i want because i have to because i will die if I do this again tomorrow. Has this ever happened to you, Taylor? What, where I've just zoned out and ran? No, no. Every step of running, every step of running, I'm like, oh, maybe someone will kill me. Maybe someone, maybe I'll be caught in the crossfire of a gang shooting. Someone will kill me.

Meanwhile, like, like, there's still a part of me. If I'm on my 10th rep of my last bench set, and my muscles are shaking, and it's unbelievably hard and strenuous, in my head, though, I'm not disliking it. I'm like, it's me versus this. I'm going to fucking win. Part of the reason I'm going to win

is because I moved the safeties because of how confident I was. If I drop this, I'm going to die. I have to win is because I moved the safeties because of how confident I was. And if I drop this, I'm going to die. So I have to kill the safeties. No, I like lifting. I don't know. Running is a punishment. Lifting is like a celebration of what I can do.

And I hear your weights. Mine are so much smaller. But it still feels good, right? And my weights are higher than my old weights were. And that feels good. Um, I think you can see some, like you can see some very,

I like the progress that I see with, uh, gaining weight as I progress. Um, and I can agree with you that it, I'm, I don't see the same level of, um,

maybe this is a shift in my mentality, but I don't see the same level of um maybe this is a shift in my mentality but i don't see the same level of enjoyment and be like i ran an extra quarter mile today at at six minute pace right right but if i like put five pounds on my curls like that's sick yeah it's real weight you see and move like right like when you finish like a pr bench you're like god i'm stronger than i've ever been like you feel great you're like about to shower like after you work out you're looking at yourself in the mirror yeah you got the ball you're like i am looking good today yeah you look just don't look at the fat parts just just

look at the shoulder girdle just just here look at the nips up i mean the at the same at the same time when you're you're saying like i'm on that ninth or the tenth rep of my third set and i'm like sweating for me personally today i was i was doing core and we were in like minute nine of the 10 minute like you know run the gamut like just fuck yourself up in 10 minutes and then just go cry about it. And I'm like, and I'm like, all right, it's time for plank number three. And I'm up there and I'm like wheezing. And I look over and I'm like, I see three, I see two.

And I'm like, I'm done. I don't need those two seconds. That's the very, like in my head, I'm like, you dumb ass. This is why you're never going to get shredded. Somebody else is out there getting those two seconds. You ever drop the last two seconds. Yeah. So self-conscious about it.

Like, Oh, I know I'm not like doing the most, but it's, it's like a mentality thing. The mentality that I like to take it from a YouTuber. Greg, you said it just harder than last time.

That's all you need to do. Did you do more than last time? It could be more weight. It could be more reps. it could be the same way you might be muted taylor it could be the same weight and reps but slower you know this time i just know in my heart it was more time under tension and these were better form or whatever and uh yeah just were harder than last time and keep that up for a couple of months and before long you've gone somewhere yeah you take like a before picture like i did like what was almost five years ago now when i got really into you know lifting regularly and like i think it was five months after my first picture like i looked

at my other one it's like these noob gains are ridiculous it's retarded how much you can put on in lean muscle in those first like six months if you if you bust your ass and work hard i mean and and i haven't obviously published this and body to body is different obviously right right body body to body is different but i did take like maybe a month into my semi-serious like i finally have a bench and i have like my free like multiple sets of free weights took a a photo and I was like, cool. And I looked back at it a couple of weeks ago and I was like, it's been five or six months of doing this, like with regular enough intervals where, you know, three days a week,

most of the time, unless like I have some family in town or whatever. But like, to me, the difference is very clear cut. Like I can see the difference in, in the muscle groups that I'm working out. Like my right, that's visible, but to other people, that's a long and slow process. And it's not necessarily a complete cut and dry, like, wow, look at you then. And here you are now. So depending on how you're getting into it, it can seem a little like maybe not disheartening, but you're not going to like walk out one day and your friend of 10 years is like, holy shit, you're shredded. Right. But like it's an overtime thing. Yeah, it's an overtime thing.

But you're like being able to see the changes in yourself is you're going to notice them 10 times as fast as any of your other friends so it's like yeah personally rewarding to see those changes even in as short as five months and i know that might seem long but it's really not we're talking it's a flash flash in the pan like get like yeah maybe if someone's not into lifting five months i should have clarified that like five months in lifting time right you're like jesus christ nothing like if you're not into lifting like five months it seems like a long time no like if you're a very experienced lifter someone like juji for example if he wants to build any body group in a big way he has to dedicate months of time to like we're focusing on chest for spring it's like that's what he has to do

because he's so evolved so big and everything like it it you know diminishing returns it's like that's what he has to do because he's so involved so big and everything like it it you know diminishing returns it's harder to eke out that last bit than it is the first you know the first games have we heard anything more about juji i've been following his channel and it seems like it was kind of a it's who knows what's happening behind the scenes but it seems like a clean break where like juji seems overjoyed to be making content on his channel again. He's been in a great mood in all his videos. He and his wife have a really good dynamic. I like that a lot. She's a good camera woman and she adds something to it.

Yeah, I think his videos are better without Tom. I agree with Kyle's initial take of like, yeah, he was the sidekick the whole time. And, you know, whereas he was the sidekick that would like then soak up four minutes of screen time where I'm really thinking like, come on, let Juju try the grip thing. Like, I don't want to see you do worse than I would at this. I want to see Juju. I want to see the behemoth of a man do this and then do a backflip. And so now that it's all back centered on him, it's pretty cool. Something about his gym, though.

It's like it's so nice that i can't even like relate to it where he's like this is you told me i was wrong i'm saying on a level of owning it i can't relate to it because his old gym i remember i used to watch those videos in the garage i guess two gyms ago and i was like this is before i had my house and i was like i can't wait to like build a gym and i'm gonna have like a cheaper version of the kind of stuff he has this one like it's basically me watching a fantasy version of a gym where I know I'm never going to approach that level of gym he has that ghost monolift which for the life of me I cannot I've watched three different videos of him doing this monolift thing and I cannot figure out the benefit of it it seems like a really expensive uh squat rack that you have to have two people to work.

Like I don't. Do you get it? Yeah. So when you bench enough, not me, maybe not. I'm sorry. I meant to say squat. When you squat enough, sometimes the weak point is walking it away from the rack. So this one, as soon as you lift it, the rack walks away from you, and you are free to squat in place while never walking.

And then you go up and you tell your buddy to replace it under you, and that's how it works. So you never have to, whereas you and your rack, you put it on your shoulders and take a step or two back and lift in the middle of that rectangle. His J hooks swing away swing away okay well that makes a million percent sense I didn't even think about that god imagine squatting so heavy that you're like if I move I might break yeah I my squats are weak I

was watching lugwig squatting I his form seems so good I need to video myself I think maybe my form sucks but oh well squats are annoying ed dude ever since i uh fell out of that bunk bed like almost two years ago now at that my friend's bachelor party and i have nerve damage my right ass cheek now like literal literal nerve damage my right ass cheek if anyone doesn't believe me like i can't show it but like i'll let you i'll let either of you touch the side of my ass. It's on the side. It's on the side.

No, let's do a PKA meetup where all the fans can put thumbtacks where the nerves should have felt it. Yeah, I'll do that. Everybody can come poke. Hey, if you subscribe to me on Twitch, you can poke my ass. Nerve damage. Any kind of low or stretched movement on that right ass cheek. Now just like, it's like a mixture of stinging and burning if I hit it in the wrong way. And that's how I can tell it's nerve problems because that's what all the

Googling says. Like, is it active pain or is it stinging? And like, it's just annoying. Like I can tell doing like even lunges on that side, like it's not as strong as it used to be. And so like,

I feel like now, like I've always had a big fat ass but like i feel like my my quads and my hamstrings are getting bigger because i'm like isolating them more on like the leg extension leg curl because i just i don't know dude getting just in a deep squat now it's fucking uncomfortable i really dislike it like i'm really annoyed by that i wish i should just go i should just went to a doctor when it happened. Do you ever do that exercise where you sort of support your upper body on a bench like you're doing those like – Like rows?

No, no, no. Those like bitch dips where you reach back on a bench and do those. But then you put a barbell across your crotch and then hump the air. Oh, yeah. Glute thrust or something like that. I think they're called. Yeah, I've done those. It's way more comfortable than squatting.

And so I've genuinely considered like maybe just dropping squatting entirely, switching to those glute bridges and then like supplementing hamstring and quad stuff with lunges, additional exercise. Some of my roughest leg exercises are the chick ones like the glute bridges you put a lot of weight and that's fucking brutal bulgarian split squats brutal lunges with you know the dumbbell in each hand brutal like i think those ones suck i think i kick my ass with some of those girl exercises more than i do like squats and stuff where i'm always feeling like, am I doing this right?

My knee hurts. My knee was in pain before this. How are we going to get through these squats without it getting worse? And so I've been skipping squats lately trying to heal. I think I'm just fucking up my squat. Well, I mean, just skip if it takes it. Like, it's way better than like jumping the gun and getting injured yeah yeah i might maybe you should go to a doctor about your rotten ass cheek yeah maybe i should go to my rotten ass you're like i don't know it's just the right side of

my ass it burns and tingles when i move it you think i should see a doctor yeah yeah you know what's funny is the ass damage that i got on my friend's bachelor trip has lasted longer than their marriage oh that's great so ruin my ass for no reason my beautiful plump ass just now misshapen so gorgeous and oh man dude did the ass on me it's huge i fill out those jeans like nobody not anymore. Now with my dented ass. So hard. But yeah, you're talking about like dreading workouts. Like there's nothing on my like workout sheet

that when I come up to it, I get like sad as much as like weighted lunges. Where like when I get to that on leg day, I'm like, no one's here. No one's going to tell. Like if I just skip this, no one will know. I can put the five tally marks in my notebook and we can both pretend.

No, it's, it's the worst. I fucking hate every second of weighted lunges. Yeah. This is why I need a personal trainer for this. Cause the only thing you can do at home is like, I don't know the names,

but I mean the weighted lunges and then what, whatever the exercise is when you put one foot up on the bench And then you're just doing like yeah, yeah, yeah fuck those right? For me right. I'm just like not enjoying my at least with like chest presses or curls. I'm like Like we're lifting weights like this. I'm just, I'm inconveniencing myself multiple times for you. It's great. Like, when you finish, like, a really heavy chest press thing or bench press, you walk around, and your pectoral is just tight.

And you can tell you burn the shit out of it. This is great. When you really blow the hell out of your hamstrings, you're like, I hate this. Bulgarian split squats are some of my favorite. Now, here's the deal. There are mirrors all over my gym,

and parts of me look like I am going on 50, right? My face looks like it's going on 50. My fucking foot to my knee looks like a 19-year-old Olympic athlete. And there are, like, when I see it. You do have good calves. It's been known for a lot, for a decade plus.

You have to see them in my weightlifting shoes and there's mirrors on both walls. So I'm getting like, I don't know, all these different angles of what my legs look like. There is no exercise that extenuates the best parts of me more than Bulgarian split squats. And I'm like, all right, time to look at me again.

And we get the photos of those. It's funny. Because we both just send our best body parts. And Woody's like, boom, these calves. And I'm like, fucking righteous. Hit a new arm circumference total. And you're like very not and we're throwing up core competencies

what's your calf look like taylor i don't see why that matters i have to periodically go through and just delete all of the half naked pictures of woody on my phone there's just because because like whatsapp just saves them straight to my phone friend weak friend i have all of them saved in an album called woody's progress smiley face take notes i delete those motherfuckers i wake up and i'm like it's like check out the vascularity of my forearm i'm like yeah yeah it's real good this is not the first thing I wanted to see

when I woke up this morning but that's great delete yeah that one that one was today that's literally how it happened today I was loading the easy curl bar and something about the lighting hit it and I was like

it's not there right now but i was like yeah the boy you need to see this it is not just me i did some guys i got uh vicious hate messages on reddit over this topic but they misunderstood they i it's not it's not all one-sided no no not at all no we send lots of photos yeah lots of fun things in our chat it's not all one-sided no no not at all we send lots of photos yeah lots of fun things in our chat it's an encouragement thing it's nice taylor used the term it had to do with my fitness pal and it was like four years ago but he said accountability buddy and uh you know like my poor wife only wants to hear about my forum so many times i need more audience you know like it's someone who gives a shit so it's nice to have you know other people sharing your success yeah i go the other way i

just when i'm feeling not that motivated i turn on my twitch stream and i get called fat so much it's like you're right you need to really get this yeah it really speaks to me it does have you noticed tucker that like i don't know if it's everybody's auto mods It really speaks to me. It does. Have you noticed, Tucker, that I don't know if it's everybody's auto-mods are catching every single word now. They're catching every word.

I need to turn it off. There's a toggle switch. You just turn it off. There's tiers. Yours is probably set to tier 1 or 2, which filters. I used to have mine set to like tier one or two which like filters i used that mindset to tier one but it would block people calling people cunts and i was like i got aussies in here like i can't what's the one that is no restrictions because that's what i said it to my account yeah and then all of a sudden like uh it tried to block the word like taint it didn't

want to let people say oh for shame yeah this is absurd like someone's like you're a fat retard and i hope you die that goes through and then it's like it's like you know drink my cum and then that that one gets held yeah no i i mean yeah i have mine off and i just have like blacklisted words in night bot cuz like you know you gotta You got it. You got to do your due diligence But the auto mod is some words that are twitch sensitive some people start talking about watermelon juice in the chat You gotta get that Great hold on guys, please tell me you saw

Was it Microsoft or Samsung bleep? No, I don't know what that is. Oh, we got a topic. All right. Is it April Fool's Day? No, no. This is a very real thing. It is a new AI.

Wait, let me guess what it is. Is it an AI software that will put bleeps on things that you say automatically? Sort of. Oh, damn it all right all right it is uh intel bleep it is i'm gonna link you guys the verge article because that's high quality content um basically it is a live filtration system for online specifically geared towards online gamers that will automatically filter out or bleep words or phrases that may be construed as misogynistic or racist or the n-word but the funny part is the back-end customization where you can choose just a little racism is

allowed just a little misogyny the right amount please like i want all this band but i still want the n-word to be flung around so like except n-word is a toggle separate from racism so it's like i want no racism God, let them slang the N-word around. Like, let's do it. There's some white nationalism. None, some, most, or all. Woody, today, I just want a little white nationalism.

Just a small amount. I'm a free speech absolutist. All of them. All of them. All of them off. But today, free speech. You gotta be an absolutist. This is real?

Yes, this is real. they did a whole presser on it like look conceptually the tech behind it is a great idea right but the fact that they have a racism slider where you can decide between like today i just want to be slightly xenophobic so we're going to allow everything up until chink but everything out of that like we can't we're gonna allow everything up until chink, but everything out of that like we can't we're not allowing it But like ha just today. I felt like that was a good one even with these Thing you know with these sliders ones that are okay and the ones that are we So like racism playing the most are all where's watermelon juice fall Most are all where does watermelon juice fall?

Yours yours you'd have you'd have to slide that to probably most okay that one Most mean of the races most of the racism is allowed. Yeah But here's the thing so they're getting roasted on Twitter all the time right and until you brought up auto mod I bring up auto mods customization here we go discrimination and slurs no filtering less filtering some more and maximum so I literally on Twitch have the

same options that they're roasting people for I'm like today I would like to less filter sexuality or gender misogyny no filtering let them be misogynistic as fuck like it's kind of like the the it's it's one of those um ideas of really great idea but awful execution just so bad i usually try and do it i mean my chat is way smaller than yours so it's easier like mine i try and do it like individual basis and so i allow everything except obviously all my nightbot banned words which i assume for everyone that list is it's the generic list long like i i went back in and i added

all the misspellings and they're always coming up with creative new ones you can just search you can just search like a twitch nightbot uh auto block n word and then they have like the gamut it's like four and a half pages of oh i need that because i've only got like one page of ones i came up with now you gotta you gotta think back to like when you're playing runescape and people were typing dick with exclamation like semi parentheses like x you know just like trying to get around the word filters so they have so many people i was watching a show about survival and less stroud talking about fishing jiggers and i had to just i had to just ban that because too many people and i had to be like guys it's a jig it's like a it's an actual it's a fishing thing it's a fish and they're like i just had to be like i had to you you

mess it up yeah and he was on the high team mod shout out to roz had to message him during the middle of the stream be, people are getting rowdy with this. I know it's not technically against the rules, but this goes against the spirit of it, and I don't want anybody looking at this and being like, oh, he's constantly encouraging it. Joe Rogan used to talk about fighters that exhausted

themselves, and he would say they blew their wad, which I guess is a poker term, but for years he would die on that hill no that's your comment i thought it was about come yeah i thought that was everybody does except joe rogan and i swear i'm accurate on this it is not a poker term yeah blew your don't blow your load is the same thing as no it's wad i yeah i know i'm saying i'm conflating they are synonymous they mean the exact same thing yeah i agree with all of you but he has said blow your wad on so

many ufc like commentators i don't know how to say this yeah explain it but during his commentating he would say oh it looks like tyrone woodley blew his wad out there he's exhausted i was about to blow his wad all over nate ds wadding is also like synonymous with like uh it's it's part of um loading ammunition like shotgun shells have wadding so really so like uh blowing your wad could be could mean you know firing your shot like like which is also it goes right I prefer to think the way we previously thought it's the same thing when Joe Rogan says it

he's not exactly nailing it down there I don't think Jon Jones wants to fight big boy I don't think he wants to fight Ngannou you guys are UFC Ngannou was like Ngannou just fought boy i don't i don't think he wants to fight i'm not a you guys are ufc yeah see so and ghanu was like i mean uh was champion of right yeah he's the he's the heavyweight champ now and so they're

trying to figure out who he's gonna fight and uh derrick lewis wants to fight him who's a heavyweight who's actually beaten him in the past um he said he'll do it for 10 million john jones who's moved up from light heavyweight to heavyweight he's been putting on mass for like a year, like fucking doing crazy workouts on Instagram. He's like, yeah, $10 million doesn't do it. I want some hazard pay for this. We're talking $15 or $20. I want more front-end money.

I want back-end money. You're going to have to pay me to fight this man. The most recent thing I heard was, and Ghana was like, maybe I'll just go box Tyson Fury. I mean, boxing, does boxing have a, and sorry, because I am, like, I watch all the UFC fights, but it's just, I don't care.

I just want to see people beat the shit out of each other. I don't like, right? But does boxing have a higher initial payout? Big time. Right, which is why we see people like Ngannou or... So boxing is even more spread between the have and the have-nots, right? So the top of the card in boxing

can sometimes make like 50 million, which would be way better, or even more, 100 million, which is better than you'll ever see in the UFC. But at the bottom of the UFC, these guys are making 12 and 14,000, whereas at the bottom of the UFC, these guys are making $12,000 and $14,000, whereas at the bottom in boxing, they're like hundreds. They're pretty much unpaid.

But also another part of that equation is the UFC pays the least amount of their total revenue out to their fighters amongst the combat sports. I don't remember the percentage, but it's rather low in the grand scheme of things. As in they're reaping the rewards for paying out less, but they're more concentrated. They're normalizing it down here versus boxing. Percentages aren't perfect, but they're going to be pretty good. Football, hockey, they tend to pay about half their revenue to the players. And the UFC is something like 19%.

Jesus. That's pretty incredible. I didn't know that. And the UFC is something like 19%. Jesus. Yeah. That's pretty incredible. I didn't know that. Yeah, I don't recall the exact percentage either, but there is a big disparity when compared to the other major sports. Wow. So I don't know. Also in UFC news, I don't know if anybody gives a shit about this, but Reebok is out and Venom is in.

The uniforms look pretty similar to me, I thought. I figured they would. I figured they wouldn't break the mold and go ridiculous with it. They have an aesthetic that they want to go with. And I do like the uniformity. Everybody kind of looking the same. Maybe three different looks. Like a real small thing, a medium thing, and more of a board short type thing.

I like that. i like that i like the women have like multiple back in the day when a guy had like a giant condom depot ad on his ass yeah that was fun to me like i don't know it didn't make him seem like less of a fighter or less of an organization i can see why especially of the american audience they're accustomed to watching baseball football hockey where you don't have random advertisers on yeah it's very nascar yeah but i think what's happened is the ufc just took all the money for themselves like it used to be the fighters would go get people to sponsor them venom condom depot some casino etc and advertise them on their shorts now the ufc went out got reebok or venom to pay for it and they just give a little pittance to the people like they it was a way it depends how

big you are but yeah it's less yeah john jones i don't know if you watched that link i sent you it's john jones being interviewed by on stevo's like podcast type thing they do it in a van which is interesting kind of a van life situation. Whose dog is that? I'm guessing Steve-O's because Jon Jones didn't touch it. Okay. I saw a portion where he did. He kind of cuddled the dog.

Oh, okay. Joe Rogan will give his audience pot and alcohol to loosen them up a little bit, to make them a better podcast guest. I'm like, steve-o doing that with his dog just putting the guy at ease maybe i or maybe i'm crazy can't do pot and alcohol i think he just lives in that fucking van and the dog's along for the ride it might be just um yeah i found it to be interesting i i see john jones's side of things of course because i like john um um i i liked hearing um him say that you know it was pretty humiliating

when he hit and ran that pregnant woman like he said that verbatim essentially um i don't know i like the guy and and look if i'm a ufc fighter let no if i'm john jones i'll fight just about anybody for you know that, that $8 million, $5 million, $10 million, whatever that that's enormous amount of money. Right. But I get it when he's talking about, there should be a little hazard pay for fighting this in Ghana,

motherfucker. He is just, first of all, I would, it's, it's not going to sound right for, for John Jones to say it, but if,

if anybody else, we're going to have to fight in ghanu i would be called i would be calling for more thorough testing every time they put a mic in front of me i'd be like i'd be like he's cheating we all know he's cheating you don't shovel sand as a kid and look like that this isn't conan the barbarian where they just have a quick montage of arnold schwarzenegger as a child pushing a wheel in the desert, and then suddenly, clickety-click, clickety-clack, he's Mr. Universe. That shit don't happen, all right? This guy's lats, this guy's delts, this guy's fucking head are all just superhuman. He doesn't

look like a regular human fucking being. He doesn't look like a regular human fucking being he doesn't look like a regular professional athlete like he doesn't look real we need to test him more thoroughly i'll pay look i'll tell you how about this that's a good line 20 pay me 20 million dollars to fight in gano take five of it back and spend that testing in Ghana between now and when we fight, okay? And I'm down. Here's what I want from Jon Jones, and it's what Jorge Masvidal I got his name right, right? I'm blanking

on it. Yeah? Sounds right. But yeah. So Jorge Masvidal he was gonna fight for the, I think, badass motherfucker title that they made up and he said, Dana, here's the deal. I want a cut of the pay-per-view. You can raise the cap.

I'll take no cut of the first, I'm making up numbers here, you know, 500,000 buys. But I want a big cut of the over 500,000. I'm partnering with you in this thing. I'm taking some of the risk. I will only get rich if this thing is the hit that I think it will be. But if it is the hit I think it will be, I get rich.

It was a hit. He got rich. Jon Jones isn't doing that. Jon Jones is saying, look, I know historically I'm a shit draw. I'm one of the best fighters, we'll say most successful fighters, to have ever done this. But no one wants to watch me. Is he the foot me stop meta guy

he does some that's more uzman uzman is the guy i'm thinking of so john jones uh he's been called for steroids a bunch of times people don't like him he's boring interview um but one of his biggest problems is he's very good so it almost seems like he's never, there's no Larry Bird, magic Johnson, like fight of equals. He's been undefeated for like 10 years now and no one can build a big name with him. They're beating everyone who crosses his path. So every time there's a John Jones fight, it's an a side and not a B side,

but like an F side, you know, no one gives a fuck and it's just this mismatch and he wins. All right. Not this time. This time we've got in Ghanu, who's an F side. You know, no one gives a fuck and it's just this mismatch and he wins. All right, not this time. This time we've got Nganou who's an A side, Jones who's an A side. I honestly don't even know who should be favored in that fight.

It is a clash of the titans. If Jones went in there and said, hey, first half million, give me nothing. I want a big chunk of the sales over half a million, right? Let's partner in this thing. I'll take some of the risk. But if this thing goes like I think it can, I get rich. I think Dana would do it.

Instead, Jones is like, we're not partners. I want all the money up front. I want $20 million, $50 million just for showing up. If I'm Dana, I'm like, why do I want this deal? Dude, you never fucking sell anything. I want you to have some skin in the game. I want you to want to promote this. You want all this money upfront, whether it does well or not. No, no, no. You should want this money if it does well. And then we're both of the mindset that this thing needs to sell. You'll be out there doing media like a Conor McGregor would that that's what he should do. I agree. I agree with all that. Yeah.

Conor McGregor would. That's what he should do. I agree. I agree with all that. Yeah, 100%. But yeah, what I really hope is that he doesn't go off, and gone are this is, doesn't go off and box because I don't care. I don't care. Boxing sucks.

You know that he can't do that without Dana's approval. Yeah, but he can also be like, approve me or I won't do this or i won't do that like like you know you know approve me or or i or or or pay me 30 million to fight john jones i've been nice about this saying you can pay me what what the contract says to fight john jones maybe i won't be so nice i want three months to do this and then i'll come back and i'll fight derrick lewis and if dc wants some he can come

get it and john jones and whoever i'll fight them both in the same night line them up like i'll fight a buick one night like we'll do a man versus car like like whatever how about a grand prix where you get to pick any 10 men in the audience and i and i fight them in succession like there's a chimpanzee in the audience for some reason am i the only one who would prefer freak fights like that occasion that would be incredible i want i want as a casual not from the sport viewer but as somebody that just wants pure entertainment i don't care i have no money in the game I would love to see like like the joy that I saw when we led up to like the Most recent Jake Paul Logan Paul whatever boxing fight where I was watching some guy get fucking some it was an NBA guy

Just get laid out by another youtuber. I was like Awful boxing. I love this. It's reality TV like this is incredible I would love to see some almost roman-esque like obviously i don't want to see somebody's arm get ripped literally out of their socket probably probably i probably i hope that's the future i hope the future is literally like the fucking running man i i i'm doing a little arnold schwarzenegger uh binge recently last night i watched uh total recall tonight Tonight I'm watching Running Man. As soon as we're done here.

The Running Man, for those who don't know, I think it might be on Netflix. Check it out. It's awful. But it's... Good sell. It's this futuristic game show where criminals are thrown into a gladiatorial arena

of the future and they have to fight the champions who are like reality TV show stars of the day and they each have to fight the champions who are who are like reality tv uh show stars of the day and they each have a gimmick like there's like sub-zero and he's like this hockey playing guy who's like like like kills people on the ice with like a razor-tipped hockey uh um stick and then there's there's several yeah yeah yeah i look, I think that should be a thing. Like, like maybe take our worst criminals,

like the people that, that we know are guilty. Like, I don't want to, let's not throw any marijuana possession folks into the bunch. You have to do something fucked up to kids. Um, but,

but you know, the worst of the worst, right? Like, and, and throw them in there. Let them fight for their freedom. Maybe.

Jared Fogle. How about the subway guy? i don't think he did anything that bad i don't recall what he did you know what he did he was a he was a pedophile okay there's lots of pedophiles did he did he rape any actual children i don't know jerry did something with probably. I'm pretty sure he flirted with some 14 year old girls and owned some child porn. Well, I consider owning child porn pretty high up there on the great list. He paid for sex for underage girls.

How old were they? The exact age matters so much to me. Okay, I'm trying. Alright, so you're one of those 17 or 14. Yeah, or even I think there's a massive difference like you say eight all right throw them in but if you say 14 i don't think so third uh oh hold on oh it's gonna be in the middle so yeah you're gonna have to take a hard stance on uh

I don't have the answer to your question on how old the girls he paid to have sex with were but the child porn went down to 9 years old. Ooh I don't like that look but as long as he's not in the porno. Ooh I don't like that Seems like it

Seems like he had some real dark stuff on his hard drive mike too hard of a stance on this one too quick i really like it's so wild to me that i could like conceptually get behind somebody's desire to get shit and eat that shit right like to literally eat shit for sexual desire like the idea for me thinking of somebody who's like 20 years old i'm like like, you have homework. Don't talk to me. 20.

I guess college. Yeah. Yeah. You're, you're not, yeah, you have, I,

let me give an example. I did go, I, I went, uh, I matched many a year, a couple of years ago to, um,

on Tinder with somebody. And, you know, I, I dropped out of college at 18. I only went one year and i've been doing this whole shit since then and we were we were i you know her profile said 24 whatever we were at dinner she was like talking about how stressed she was and i was like what's up what's

like work got you down or whatever and she goes oh no i've got a lab report due tomorrow and i was like oh i had no idea you're in like biochem or whatever and she goes no just chemistry and I was like oh oh cool like gen ed chemistry she's like no high school chemistry oh no and I was like excuse you yeah I'm 18

lord I was like wow this has been a really great time oh that's too young finish line and you said this was years ago and you're only 26 i'm 28 now no this was when i was like 24 or okay 23 i just moved back to la i was like hey let me try this new tinder shit yeah it was just an awful that i literally was like and we remove the app and we're done with this whole thing like what do you mean that was was all you did? Got rid of it? Taylor, let me ask you a question.

Before you had an ex-girlfriend, what did you put that slider on on Tinder? 18. You're goddamn right, 18. You guys are weak. All right, the thought of, all right, hypothetically speaking. You have to ask her parents to pick her up. Cast a wide. You can't even go to a.

When you look like I do, a wide net. You can you need the widest net when you look like i do a wide net you can't even you can't even go to a bar with 18 to 40 i'm don't want to go to a bar my current tinder is 23 to 35 because i need at least a semblance of adulthood like you need to at least a semblance of adulthood. Like, you need to at least be paying taxes, and I need you to have fun. Look at her bush. Does it got hair on it? No, but perfect. Is that what he says? Yeah. Fuck that shit. Do this, bitch. I put it down to 21 because

of that same thought of like, you know, sometimes 18, sometimes 21, but I don't want to go to get coffee I don't want to have a morning time date I want to go out at night and like get a beer like if yeah coffee sounds way more attractive to me I can have my

first of all I'm not allowed I'm not allowed a beer Taylor so okay you're right thank god our justice system is forcing Kyle into underage kids Taylor. Okay, fair enough. You are extraneous. Thank God our justice system is forcing Kyle into underage kids. No underage kids!

But 18 is legal. That's funny. Kyle specifically targets 18 to 20 so he's not pressured to drink. Look, you guys are creating another predator. I swear to God. If it went to 17, i'd slide it to 17 well 16 is legal usually right if it went to 16 i'd slide it to 16 if that's legal whatever's

legal is what we slide it to you gotta go to one of the oh you don't oh you're still on your learner's permit? No problem. I've got my... Not to brag, but I have my full license. That might be an attractive part of you. She could learn to drive. I'm going to meet your dad. Oh, you're 38. Nice to meet you.

I'm dating this guy, Kyle. He graduates three years after me. I know you. I remember you. Yeah, you. Yeah. You played football. Oh, I humiliated her dad. We had gym together. You're telling

her stories about how you bullied her dad in high school. You know your dad was a real faggot in school. He used to snap towels at your bitch ass dad when he was trying to dry off i was three years younger and i picked on him come on what a loser he's like yeah he sucks my dad sucks i'm gonna get back at him by fucking you yeah your dad does suck that would really show him

wouldn't it he'd hate that and you wouldn't be lying you know no no no slide that bitch to 18 that's where it fucking goes like i slid it to 18 i'm like that's that's all she's got i'm like fucking scotty and star trek i'm giving her all she's got captain you ever seen that picture of like it was like anthony cumia standing with like a like 19 year old the parents are younger than he is who's anthony cumia anthony cumia he was on the anthony show very very funny radio show back in the day i listened it was my biggest influence what makes me laugh now i have to say it was so fucking funny that all the great comedians i love his guests but he had a thing where like he would go weirdly young as like a what was he at the time probably like a 40 40 something year old man mid 40s yeah there you go and he's in his giant

castle he lives in holding his cat and those are the parents of of the girl he's about to take on a date oh isn't that fucking isn't that bizarre no it's perfectly normal back me up kyle i'm anthony kumia isn't is the hero that we need not the one we deserve all right he is the batman of tinder dude that chick is hot is she said how old is she i don don't know. I remember. So you always ask first and then. Yes, I did. Look, I'm new at this. One on the left. She looks like 16. God.

Maybe a lot of. I'm hoping she's a. Oh, that chick is going to be hot. Well, she's definitely above. She's got fat wrists. No, no. The one that Anthony is sitting next to, obviously, she is of age because this is like a pre-date kind of picture.

If I'm remembering my ONA lore correctly. Look at that. She's got a digital watch on because she can't read a clock. I was talking about the mom. Oh, the mom. I'm sure. She's the hot one. She's looking tremendous. And look at that dad.

Mom's not even bad. Why'd I drive us here? Dad didn't look that bad until he found out his daughter was dating Anthony Cumia. Oh, where's your... That man had a full head of dark hair before that. At the start of the night.

Yeah, it was like rapid age as he's standing there. Ah, where's your nice strapping young boy that's going to be taking my girl out? Oh no, it'll be me. Ah, where's your son? Is he... This is your home. Where's little Anthony?

Where's little Anthony? Where's Aunt Junior? That's what I call my day. Aunt Junior's coming out later on, I promise you. God damn, that man is a hero for us all is he the the true the true pope of the church of kyle he may be he may be a godlike figure that we that we look that we look to he's the guy who's like in the stained glass on our building into looking into anthony kumia with the little the halo the halo and the light emanating from his cock just killing it killing hilarious hilarious that girl is that girl is shockingly

young no like she looks she looks like a high schooler you know why because she's a high school high school she's standing's standing like a kid. Yeah, she hasn't figured out how to stand yet. She's only been walking for like eight years. Yeah, she's still figuring out like, you know, when you get that growth spurt and you're walking all gangly and weird for a while, she's still there. She shot up five inches in the past summer and she's getting used to it. God, I love that. No, you put that motherfucker on 18. Got him fucking shame. were you worried that you're gonna have like an immature conversation who do you think you're

talking to we're worried what her dad will think of you i just prefer to be at a bar generally at night what would her dad think i don't know let's let's open up with a few of my felonies let's tell him about that he's not gonna think much no matter what she's gonna be 40 and he's not gonna like me i'm with kyle on this actually because i i also want an 18 to 20 year old who won't pressure me to drink there you go there you go i mean my parents good oh sorry my parents never actually drank the entire time that i grew up with them, lived with them. Maybe I remember my parents having like a couple glasses of wine during like the family cul-de-sac fucking meal that they did with all the other parents.

Right. And they'd come back and my mom was drinking or whatever. But like almost never in my life did my dad say, oh, I'm going to have a glass of whiskey or whatever and sit down and watch TV. I'd say, oh, I'm going to have a glass of whiskey or whatever and sit down and watch TV. However, now that I am of age and since I've been of age, I think my parents have really ratcheted up the amount that they drink. I mean, to the point where every time that they come over, I go over, they're like, hey, we were just at the brewery. We got you this 32 ounce can of beer from the brewery. We're picking you up the airport. We'll have it for you in the car. And then they gave it to me and they were like there's no open container

law in North Carolina. You're free to drink that in the back if you want to sample that. Like I think that having a adult son has propelled them into alcoholism a little bit more than I have. Or they just hid it from you because they didn't want to give that example. No, my parents definitely never drank that like i certainly never saw my dad get like tipsy or anything until i was a man grown they would always have a couple of beers like but never

like to excess it would usually be like at the end of a hot summer day you know there'd be a couple of miller lights would come out something like that maybe some maybe some margaritas yeah some margaritas maybe but like um like like like as I got into like my my early 20s and stuff and like my dad and I would like be playing poker together in bars like we'd both be drinking and get a little fucked up you know yeah no I don't think it was I mean even if you did like the whole like uh crab picking in the summer where it was like 19 families and we're all just eating crab and there's beers everywhere. I don't even think I saw my parents drinking then. They just didn't casually.

They did drink at some point in time, but it was not like even a it was like a once a month thing versus now where where they came over. They were just in town seeing my new place for the first time and like the entire time we were drinking there my mom was like well it's like 7 p.m what do you want to do and i was like i don't know maybe dinner she's like yeah let's go out and get some drinks and dinner and i was like yeah let's eat first and then we'll get some drinks after like what the slow down she's like maybe yeah she's like maybe she's like shaking she's like maybe a little bottle of wine did I see witch hazel in the cupboard

you've got mouthwash this mouthwash is tasty right I'm looking forward to getting my dad I'm looking forward to getting my dad stoned I'm gonna take my dad on a little road trip you know in the fall is he open to it i could get on board he hasn't smoked since he was like 20 but he did smoke at some point in time he smoked i think once or twice like he i may have told the story did i tell

a story here before about about him like running stop signs and stuff stoned yeah yeah yeah he was like 30 35 or something like that and had like a bad experience he's like they pulled out this funny looking pipe and all those girls were smoking it and it was actually crack oh god i hope not and it the way he described it it sounded definitely like weed but but you know they pulled out this funny looking pipe and everybody started smoking it and it got passed on to me and i was like, I'm not going to not smoke it. You got to fit in. It's a bullshit weed, too, that long ago.

So you're going to have some bunk weed, brick weed. Oh, yeah. That was some 1970 shit, you know, like, like terrible. This stuff they got now is just. they got now is just i uh really i had i had fetishized this idea of my parents like stumbling in and seeing like i do smoke all the time every day have been for the last eight years whatever but you know like it i'm not gonna hey mom and dad like i'm smoking weed you guys want to jump in so i put all my stuff away and they were walking around and my dad walked you know walked into my closet walked into my my bathroom walked in my closet my bong and all of my weed is tucked

away and like very neatly in the corner where it's like why are you looking here anyways my dad i'm walking and i'm like yeah here's my closet he's looking i'm like that's my weed he goes okay walks on out looks at my mom my mom goes what's in there and he goes nothing and at that point i realized my dream was dead there is no point my dad is calling the curtains he's like you're not smoking weed with your parents it's just not we're not interested if i would ask if he's gonna move my mom away and be like nothing's in there there's nothing in there what you don't know is he palmed like an eighth. I walk back, I'm like, where's my jars? There's so much weed missing.

Got some strawberry cough, baby. Let's hit the road. I got that. We migrated off the topic of paying children for sex, but Matt Gaetz appears to be in trouble, man. Matt Gaetz, the Florida rep. Wait, did you see how he's getting caught for all right let me preface uh preface this he um mack gates is being investigated

by the fbi for what i believe is um uh sex trafficking and sex with an underage girl which both of these are and you know you can scale them up or down to be as severe as you would like but um he he paid for some prostitution or some sex work with i guess who was underage at the time via venmo and if you don't know venmo all of your shit is public by default. So he was making Venmo payments that said like tuition, school to the person. He put the prostitute's nickname in the Venmo comments. So it's like buttercup, $1,000. Give to Blake. So what he did is he didn't pay the prostitute directly.

He gave it to his friend who's now Joel Greenberg I guess is this the guy that pleaded? I'm not 100% sure but I think so so he gave it to his friend and the text said hit up Felicia or whatever the fuck her name was and so he gave it to his friend with instructions to pass it

on to the underaged whore it's gonna be hard to beat this case let's not use that word, buddy. That's very convenient. I know, right? Let's strike anyone else. Let's walk this back.

All right. I got a little watermelon juice in my eye right now. I didn't even think about that phrase. We love sex. Sex working is real work. All right. We're going to say prostitute or sex worker. We're going to substitute a child.

This underage deliverer of pleasure. How about a 13-year-old businesswoman? Anyway, yeah, so he said hit up Felicia. It didn't show her nickname. They're keeping it

private. But yeah, he said hit up, whatever. So I gave instructions to my buddy to pay this woman on my behalf. And she's an underage prostitute. And I don't see how he beats this. No, he is literally, he's what the QAnon people froth at the mouth for. But like, I mean, like this is it.

This is the one. Like this is the, I told you these people are trafficking kids. I don't care what side it's coming down on. It's happening. But QAnon does. QAnon has said Matt Gaetz is being framed by the deep state. They literally found a pedophile politician and well,

a pedophile. I know on the show we're sensitive about that term but they literally found a politician trafficking underage girls for sex work and oh uh the q anon is got his back wait i you know what this is such a weird segue it's not even a segue i also have a uh sex trafficking thing to to up. What do you got? One of the most prolific DJs and producers of the last decade in dance music is being sued for sex trafficking

and child porno. Bass Nectar. A guy, but listen, I think this is where I'm going to contribute here. We've got to read some of the claimants that the suit brings because he was forcing his um cult members to diet and uh adhere to a specific diet and you know like refer to him as a higher being type shit very um so far i'm on his side what did did he do wrong?

Very like Heaven's Gate kind of thing. Well, they were underage for the first part, Woody. Well, how underage? It sounds to me like so far he just made you sure. It was the Seiko cult. Calories in, calories out. Yeah, if I were a cult leader, one, I would want them to refer to me as a higher being, and

two, I'd want them to eat right. Yeah. And by i mean eat very little very very little go ahead taylor i'm sorry tucker tell me the part where he did something wrong oh my god i'm not i'm not i'm not uh can't do it can you no i'm just i'm trying to figure out how to navigate this mind. He used his power and influence to groom and ultimately sexually victimize underage girls. Oh, there you go. That's where things went awry. Yeah. Wow. Who could have seen this coming?

He pulled that slider too far to the left. The slider was on all of the misogyny and grooming. He should have allowed Intel Bleep to say, hey, we should not force them to eat paleo diets only while trafficking 17-year-olds across state lines while having sex with them and not letting them contact their...

Is Bass Nectar this person with the giant red flowy hair? Yeah, he's the DJ. Bass Nectar is the DJ. I thought that was a woman. He has kind of man arms. I mean, not very man arms. Not in this thumbnail. Well, it's a man.

Okay. Yeah, he doesn't lift, but it's a dude. Yeah, but how the fuck are you going to look at... I have some breaking news. What? Breaking? Breaking? Breaking.

Is marijuana legal everywhere? Then I don't care. DMX is dead. Wait, really? No. No. No way. Damn it. Wait, I don't see anything on Twitter. Is this that breaking

that you're giving me breaking? I have TweetDeck open. I thought I would see. Yeah, I hope so. So you want to go to Lunel's Twitter. She's his friend. L-U-E-N-E-L-L and she said, it is over. Frowny face.

My friend is gone. Crying face. Sore with the birds. Bird emoji. Join the best that ever did it rip dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dmx what uh do we know what not that i mean this is morbid but do we know what he overdosed on or like was it was it an accidental over i mean all overdoses are most overdoses are accidental but like was it like fenty laced or was it like i did too much haven't heard maybe this is me splitting hairs but i want to know if he did it on purpose or

if it was accidental maybe that yeah i mean i'd always like to know just like this tiger woods thing that just happened it's kind of interesting that shit is why i didn't even know about it well i didn't even i didn't even know about it until last night where it was trending where where like the results came in i was like i didn't even know tiger woods had run into anything and then he's doing 80 and a 45 and i'm like oh like tiger was flying yeah man was in a hurry going through it yeah to go to a discovery shoot like a discovery tv i think is where he was going to well huh well he maybe he was late was he on anything was he on well that's what they they've admitted there's no details on if he was on anything or if anything was in influence it was just that he was going over that amount and then I think whatever the local group was said,

like we admit some other things due to the privacy of the situation, which would imply to me, bro, you're not going twice the speed limit, not on any, on something like you're just not, I've never lots of times 80 and a 40, 80 and a 40.

When I was in high school fucked up 80 double the speed limit was my like I don't know like if I wasn't doing that I was a pussy so 70 and a 35 110 and a 55 like those were I don't believe you you're speaking in a weird not only is it true but it was on a motorcycle. Alright, maybe I feel more safe about that. There's no... There's nobody that's like... Yeah, that's safer. It's not safer. Like the double yellow line, I would just thought that was the motorcycle

lane. I would just zip on that all the time. So, if DMX is indeed dead, do we do a new death pool next week? Yeah. All new names, or do your names? Or do I just add a name to my list?

I mean, I had some good ones. Yeah, yeah. I'll just add a name to my list. How about that? You know, I think we should have the opportunity to recast. Opportunity? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get first choice on your own picks. There you go. Good call, good call. You get to keep... So, we get first choice on your own picks. There you go. Good call. You get to keep.

We get first pick to our own picks. Nobody pick anybody else's people. You can shuffle if you want or keep if you want. You could do a whole new bunch if you wanted or you could just keep your full list if you wanted. Whatever. Fair enough. I like it.

You don't want to lose Alexi going to die in prison. Yeah, and I secretly love Alex Rinald as a pick. Me too. I like him. I'm not going to give up the fact that I'm lost. He's a winner. I say it all the time.

Every week, fat people die quickly, right? Skitty people wither away. Fat snap man they just yeah that's true that is it's like it's like maybe like early 80s is where it's like man none of these people are fat anymore and if they are it's like an outlier like they dude they're they're and i'm convince me I'm wrong. 1965, there were very few fat people.

I'm looking around, watching all these documentaries, right? There's fat people, but there ain't, like, oh, no. Seems like so many of the guys were in NOM, you know? Like, I don't know. For me, it just seems like everybody's mobilized everybody's getting in shape everybody's working hard there's there's so many jobs to go around because so many of the the working men are overseas like seems like a good time for physical fitness 1965 am i an idiot yeah yeah it's when it started okay give or take it ended yeah i might be off by a year but roughly yeah okay you think wait you think that they were more fit because of vietnam yeah i think so i think you had

like a huge amount of the american men that are in fighting age like either in training or about to go into training or wouldn't have trained otherwise got drafted maybe wait how much uh maybe this is super out of pocket but like how how many, what is the, what was the percentage of people that were of draft age? How many of them were actually drafted and then put into actual military training? Very small percent. Right. Was it, was it 50% or was it closer to 10 or was it more than 80 like i don't know how many of the yeah how many of those military ready people actually went through the motions and went through that because if it was

an if it was a small amount yeah i mean my guess like fitness thing would be like overall diet change since then uh also like social stigma like if you were a big fat fuck back then like people were going to call you a big fat it would be like being in China or most countries today other than like western countries so like now there's no I guess social pressure or there's almost 3 million

served yeah so 10% of that generation served now you asked how many were drafted so that doesn't answer that well maybe my question was how many people were involved in it because if it if it was only like 10 that still is way less than uh i was growing up being implied right like i was implied that everyone from that generation in some way had a hand in it right not my dad we were just talking about that the other night.

I went to go visit him, and we were watching Forrest Gump, and, you know, it's awful. It's the Vietnam part, and it's pretty rough, you know, when Lieutenant Dan gets his legs blown off and everything. And I was like, you were in that draft lottery. He's like, yeah. We checked the newspaper, like newspaper like every whenever it was like i don't know if it was weekly or whatever but you check the newspaper to see if you were

drafted it's like fuck lucky you weren't i guess i think i'm probably lucky that you weren't i wouldn't be here either yeah yeah i thought snow day was high stakes. Waking up, watching, hoping your school scrolls by on the TV. That really was. Kids these days get text notifications, but there was nothing better than waking up at 545 a.m. and then like running down to your fucking rabbit ears TV and you're like, scroll. I got to check this one specific channel because they may have updated prior to the other local channel and you're switching between the two like

waiting for F waiting for F I have to wait for the whole thing I never really thought about it but South Valley Elementary is alphabetically disadvantaged we're way at the back of this list South Valley

as a Woodworth you were used to that though that's true i actually think that part of the reason i performed school poorly in school is i sat in the back of almost every class every teacher would alphabetize the kids and i was in the back corner if i wasn't the last alphabetically, then I'd be the second last. I was right there. There were a lot of Watsons and Williams. Going W-O is different than W-A. There could be three kids in front of you. That's true.

W-O? Oh, I'm not in W-A land. I'm five east now. Yeah, it makes a difference. People think Watson's at the end of the alphabet. Fucking rookies. Like Woodworth, I would be. So meanwhile, some poor Polish guy named like Zizinski.

Dude, Z names are not common. Like in my whole high school, we had like 350 kids in my class, right? So four times that for the high school, but this is my class. And I think I was like fifth from the back like it was really towards the end do you ever like wake up and you're just like i'm so glad i'm not in school anymore yes yes oh yeah because i get those nightmares of of being like so unprepared that you can't catch up like oh my god i'm past midterms and i didn't realize i'm supposed to be attending this and yeah that dude i'm maybe school's too traumatizing right if i'm at 48 years old having nightmares about not keeping up with my classwork

maybe maybe they fuck me up a little too much. I agree. I have the same kinds of nightmares, dude. Yeah. It's like we went a little too hard, I think. Why would you guys have those nightmares? Neither of you cared about school. I cared enough that it was scary. I guess I did. Maybe you don't have nightmares because you didn't fail like we did.

I don't know how Kyle did, but I had a lot. I had some really bad grades. Maybe you just don't understand how kyle did but but i had a lot i had some really bad grades maybe you just don't understand the how hard it is to suck maybe maybe i was too stressed i kept doing my work every every every adult human distress every adult human has a uh has has some sort of like reoccurring nightmare and i do still have my high school nightmares have been like oh i didn't do enough studying and I'm gonna fail this but my personal one that happens way more often is I'm I am in an airport terminal and I'm going to my my my gate and I get there and the gate has been changed and

I now have to find my way back I have never missed a flight in my entire life. Right. I've had that actually hundreds of flights. And I've also had this happen, but like my irrational fear, apparently when I'm asleep is you landed, you got 13 minutes to go across 4.5 miles of Charlotte international airport merged with Chicago O'Hare. And then we've got a little bit of Phoenix in there and there's no walkways and it's like it's super stressful yeah I've done that before where like I finally got to my gate and

I've been sitting there for a while and I'm like I just happen to like look at my ticket and I'm like people there yeah worse I'm like oh no I'm supposed to be at s13 and i'm at a13 oh you're on the other side that's why there's no one here yeah charlotte i'm going to vegas yeah and you just got to get up and start fucking moving because the plane's taking off in eight minutes yeah i that is my least favorite thing is not having enough time to connect i stressed the hell out of my girlfriend like a year ago we were trying to catch a flight like out of florida back home and like she she doesn't really travel that much uh you know just from her work or anything and so like i'm like kind of the i travel a good bit and so i'm like we got the guy you're the man we gotta get hustling we gotta get moving like

we're here we need to we need to be look at this diagram like fucking full c like on the other side of that and like by the end she's like stop running i'm dropping things i'm like we gotta go i'm like i'm running back and grabbing the bags from her follow me and i'm just like bumping past people being bullets are whizzing by you're like behind me i'm ducking everything slow motion saving private ryan and i'm like turning like and i'm like you know at this point i was rudely like going through people like waiting through the swamp because you have to like yeah my flight boarding it or leaving in eight minutes you guys are walking lackadaisically so i need to do this yeah and like then i look back and she like has isn't assertive enough to like go through and yeah she's not a salmon she can't swim upstream

so i have to run back and blow an even bigger hole in the crowd for her to follow back uh we made on my shoulders the other time we were uh this is a different trip we were in like i had had like a end of vacation eating like shit, tons of seafood. I think the evening before I was like, I was eating raw oysters. And like, I saw I've been putting it in the saltine,

putting the raw oyster on their lemon juice, hot sauce. And I, we were sitting there last night at this place and I ate four orders of them by myself. And so like, because I was like, I live in

Missouri I'm not gonna get this opportunity again I'm gonna go balls to the wall here and so I'd eat nothing but seafood and beer for for five days and like I'm standing in line and we're in like group B and like group A's boarding and I'm like babe I'm gonna shit my pants and she's like you don't have time now and I'm like I'm making time and so like i i run to the bathroom there thank god there was only like 50 yards away from that area and so like or no it was a was about to board we were in the middle of b and i sprint over there and i fire out the foulest abomination of seafood shit like immediately like it was like a you know flash bang a gas bomb or like everybody in the bathroom and it felt like a demonbang, a gas bomb. We're like, everybody in the bathroom must have been able to smell it.

And it felt like a demon had left your body. You feel so much better. I was just releasing it, and I just heard the, whoa! All the souls of those oysters are leaving. It was one of those shits where I got 80% of my shit out, and I was like, that's going to have to do, It was one of those shits where I got 80% of my shit out, and I was like, that's going to have to do,

and then just wipe, wash my hands, run back. And it's like as they're calling our boarding group, it was like Ocean's Eleven, barely made it back in, and I was able to walk on the plane. By the time I got off the plane again, I had to use another bathroom because you shouldn't eat 20 oysters in one dinner no you shouldn't i've done that before though like like sometimes we'll go to dinner and i'll be and like oh oysters huh yeah let's let's all get a dozen oysters and i'm like looking at the group and everybody's just like yeah i don't eat oysters yeah me either those things are gross i'm like i just ordered a dozen oysters that they're four fucking dollars a piece i'm i guess i'm eating a dozen oysters they're they're one

of those weird things where i hated them until somebody told me i didn't have to chew them right like and then i was like oh you can just swallow them whole and they taste great they're just good i like chewing them all up. Because then you get to taste the mushed up cracker and all the Tabasco and all the lemon juice and all that mix. No, you can taste all that. I don't even use the cracker. Oh my god.

Well, you need that nice foundation for everything. I get them on the little seafood fork. Oh my god, DMX is really dead. He's dead. Get them on the little seafood fork, maybe put some cocktail sauce or some hot sauce on there. It's down. down love it how did you confirm dmx was dead zach i i just clicked on uh uh i just searched dmx and then hit the twitter button and i saw 14 000 tweets loaded within the last 10 minutes and i was like DMX is dead like this and even here's my safety net even if he wasn't dead

you don't come back from being brain dead to being normal God works in mysterious ways not this time not this time DMX through prayer anything is possible so why don't you jot that down Tucker Saint just tweeted.

Somebody should have prayed a little harder for DMX, I guess. Or maybe they just prayed extra hard for me. You're the reason. Your prayers outweighed the final redemption. Yeah, there were a lot of people praying for DMX, but not quite so many praying for me that I would win the death pool. And so God was like...

I think we should honorarily play the DMX Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer edit that is on Spotify why do I feel like that's a copyright claim it is I don't I'm on the DMX news

and all they say is things look bad like no one has confirmed his death oh yeah he's real bad he hasn't breathed in 45 minutes look I'm not giving up this is it $5 or $10 it's $500 it's $10,000

I think it was $10,000 if you want to know how influential DMX is $10,000. If you want to know how influential DMX is, his Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer edit has 10 million

streams since 2020. Oh, nice. That's pretty wild. There's already comments on all his videos. RIP. Hell yeah, get in there early, boys. Get all those points. Yeah, those YouTube comment points.

He was the best. R.I.P. Not really. Gone. One song, right? I was just saying what comments I'm seeing. Yeah, I know. I know.

I'm just disputing what that person said. I know the one song. And he also barked a lot. His Wikipedia says he's still alive. Well, Wikipedia, my goodness. Let me fix that real quick. He's definitely dead. This isn't a ruse. There's nothing that says he's dead

aside from Twitter. It says RIP on Twitter. Everyone's watching this on Saturday. Wait, wait, wait. I'll bet you $20 right now he's dead. Woody. $20 No thank you So then why are you not accepting The new media of Twitter

As the TMZ breaking news I mean I'll admit you're 99% right That's just not enough to get me to part with $10 This many people on the internet Can't be wrong Now it says RIP DMX And rest in peace DMX apart with $10. Jesus Christ. You can't be wrong. Now it says RIP DMX and Rest in Peace DMX.

So many people tweeting that it's got two hashtags. Yeah, Woody, he's dead. He's definitely dead. We got him again! You're on a two-win streak, right? I think so. I think you're on a good one.

Here's a person that apologized for tweeting that DMX had died two days ago. Two days ago? Everybody gave a shit when I said DMX was dead two days ago. Well, who's laughing now? I have a whole account that just preempts six celebrity deaths and you get indignant when... Arnold Schwartz, rest in peace Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have a whole account that just preempts six celebrity deaths and you get indignant when I was right.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Rest in peace, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everybody's like, what is wrong with you? Eight years from now, you're like, I told you. I told you. Rest in peace, Betty White. Oh, I missed it. That could happen any minute.

Any second, I hope. She's lost the fucking plot. That's why she's not allowed as a pick, obviously. Yep, yep. Unfortunately. Is she the oldest celebrity that's still alive? Clint Eastwood is up there. I don't know which is...

Yeah. The Queen of England, if you count her, she's like a fucking 103 or something stupid. You don't count her, Tucker? She's not a celebrity, I suppose. You don't count her, Tucker? Betty White is infinitely more in pop culture than the Queen of England, right? The Queen of England's on money. American-centric viewpoint. Over here.

Let's do a Google battle. How do you do a Google battle? What else matters? Are you telling me that the Brits matter? No, what was that thing? Weren't you talking about it? Like you choose what's more popular? Yeah, higher or lower.

I would be willing to bet that... Yeah. I would bet that Queen Elizabeth outweighs Betty White. Right. In the Googling. Yeah, but I mean, I thought we were talking about... In age. Right.

Yeah, in Google... Oh, is age the thing? I think Betty White loses. I don't know. We're all mixed up now. Betty White is not 100 plus. No, Betty White's 99. Betty White's 99.

The queen is 94. So she's winning the age battle. Wait, really? The queen is only 94? I thought she was like 103. You know what's crazy? The queen is an old looking 94. Yeah.

Yeah, and Betty white is a young 100 a young a cool a still fuckable 100 oh let's not take let's not go too far i think i don't know i mean where do you put the upper end on your tinder i go to 102 slide that bitch to 40 yes i slide my tender 50 to to 75 queen elizabeth is beating betty white by quite a bit on google search popularity well yeah i would hope so yeah but do that same country and the other one is like yeah check the results of google from 1951 and then you'll see the true trend of her her heyday can you imagine like being so old and in the same industry that it's like like you have credits from the 30s that's fucked up all right all right imagine you know we've we're old right like we we are old, we're only at the oldest 10 years,

a decade. Well, I mean, 13 years, if you really wanted to stretch it, right? 13 years, but we don't have the same realm.

Like Betty, Betty white was relevant the whole time. Like, yeah, like, like 80 years. It's just Betty fucking White I'm here still

she's really solidified herself as one of those iconic I love that meme where someone tweeted young man goes on shooting spree at local high school and someone just replies with a picture of Betty White

what? why? Why? Bet he white. Oh, Jesus. That's pretty good. That one's good. Yeah. I bet that one's pretty popular now.

Yeah. If Kyle is saying anything about it, it's got to be popular. Kyle's all up on the reaction gifs to mass shootings. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. You got to have those locked and loaded.

He was my reaction gif advisor. And then he just kept sending more gifs of sassy black women. I said, there's no variety. I need more. I need more than that. Maybe Chuck Norris clapping or something. Regis Philbin? Yeah, Philbin.

We were talking about relevant over a long time. He has the Guinness World Record for most hours on camera. It's 16,540 hours on camera. That is like, I don't know what all he did,

but obviously like he did that like morning show every morning. Right. And then he did who wants to be a millionaire for like a billion fucking episodes. And I'm sure he had a mate, a whole career before that. Cause he's 16,000 hours on camera. Yeah. So he did a couple of shows. Who wants to be

a millionaire is one. Who wants to be a super millionaire? Yada yada. He did Regis and Kelly. That was a real big thing. shit. I don't know. He's got a bunch of stuff. There's shows back here in the 60s and the 80s. I guess he hosted the Regis Philbin show back in 1980 something.

16,000. How many? 500 something something i didn't even know he was dead all right so to give you an idea if i put my twitch time to the earliest that i am allowed to set it which looks like uh uh, uh, January 1st, 2017, I have streamed 7,180 hours. So you're on pace, right? I'm on pace, but that is, that's five years, right? But that's five years of streaming, like fucking five hours a day. Like that's a lot of on-camera time like that's shocking how much time he spent on camera and he's doing it in official like not me going i'm bored i'm gonna just boot up stream today like you know yeah yeah like he has people that are hired to work on that segment with him that's wild yeah holy shit all right for a long time yeah he had a very funny voice I don't remember what it sounded like but I'm gonna you know do Regis Fillor that's a huge demo on twitch

it's just me it's just what he being like this isn't even good damn it down to zero viewers man i am hungry i have 850 calories left for today. I need some protein. That's good. That's a pint of ice cream. That's two chicken breasts. I think it's going to be one chicken breast with hot sauce,

and then I'll finish with the deficit. Do you like chicken salad? You guys, this is actually a great question for you guys. Because I need hot sauce, but most of the hot sauce that I'm looking at is like 5 calories Is it a sodium intake? What's the limiting factor? Everybody that I talk about that's trying to be lean

but eat well they always say, I don't eat too much hot sauce It's sugar in the ones with calories So that's why one like Tabasco is zero calories It's just vinegar, cayenne pepper don't eat too much hot sauce it's sugar and the ones with calories so that's why one like uh like tabasco is zero calories it's just vinegar cayenne pepper and right so that's that's that's good as long as it's not like high in sugar high in calories we're if it's five calories i don't even log it i log all my food but yeah i didn't know if there was some like secret thing that hot sauce was like not okay with i've become like uh i don't think so

i don't know like it because i can't eat i feel like everybody's stupid who pays attention to the small things right you get your macros your calories your protein your fats etc right and you're fine people who worry too much about the micros people who have like seeds because they're worried about antioxidants are fat fuck you with your antioxidants fatty bullshit whatever no no no show me your abs or shut the fuck up that's my that's my take on nutrition and uh like get the big stuff sorted out and and you'll be fine yeah i mean you don't you don't need to split hairs on 10 calories here i just was not sure that um like i can't fathom an idea of eating a meal of chicken rice and vegetables without some sort of hot sauce like i need some you can't otherwise

it's so boring is not a problem i can do stir fry you can do stir fry with like no sugar you can do like um do like a chicken stir fry where you do like uh rice wine vinegar soy sauce some oyster sauce um arrowroot powder to thicken it up um and like a bunch of artificial sweetener like get swerve brown sugar and mix all that together then you uh cook your chicken that is sodium not a problem for that because that's like four what do you care about sodium for what sodium is a problem if you have problems with your blood pressure yeah don't oh i salt it up well i mean all right yeah i kind of do but like it's not get get low sodium uh soy sauce soy sauce right okay yeah and then you can still use your sauce yeah okay and then you know

you can put like ginger and garlic in there like like you can buy them pureed together and then you cook your chicken you cook your bell peppers your shiitake mushrooms your water chestnuts your broccoli whatever else you're gonna throw in there yeah then you throw the chicken back in once it's cooked pour the sauce all over back in once it's cooked, pour the sauce all over it, stir it until it's thick, and you've got super low-calorie delicious stir fry. Those shiitake mushrooms are so good in those stir fries. They're so meaty.

I like water chestnuts. Umami is the word. It's so much umami. You get the umami from the oyster sauce. You want to throw that in there, but if you're afraid of sodium, then. No, yeah. I mean, I'm not afraid of sodium. I had a health scare.

I was doing a show for Amazon Prime, afraid of sodium then no i yeah i mean i'm not afraid of sodium i had a health scare i had a um i was doing a uh a show for amazon prime and they had to send a physician in to make sure that apparently i would not just drop dead on camera you know as they do right i was like that's cold yeah give me a free physician why did they think you needed someone there uh it's insurance right like if i was doing a live show and and like i just dropped dead they need insurance to cover for the fact that they were not aware that i was going to die or some shit like that and the woman comes over and she's like decrepit old 95 years old and it's like an at home this is in like the middle of covid like may june and she wraps wraps me up taking my blood pressure and she goes uh-oh and

i was like not the thing i want anybody to say when they're taking my blood pressure and she goes lay down she starts walking me through she's like imagine you're on a beach i was like i'm fucked imagine you're on a beach and the waves are splashing on you. And I was like, certainly I'm above you squatting right on that sexy little face of yours. Oh, you give me a tongue bath and the little man in the boat goes for a ride. And I'm shaking. What were the numbers? And she goes, your blood pressure is 179 over 81.

And I was like, that sounds pretty bad. She runs again. She's like, it's 169 over 81. You need to go in. Yeah, I was like, progress? I'm only slightly hyper, whatever the fuck it's called. I have hypertensive. No, that's not slight.

Are you sure those numbers are right? Right. Well, it was a mobile machine and all that stuff. So I panic bought my own mobile machine and i was like oh my god it's showing 144 over 81 every time i do it no matter what when i'm resting when i'm doing it my mom whatever so i call my mom my mom's like oh that's so crazy yeah your grandpa had his first heart attack at 35 he's got seven heart bypasses and four stints and i was like oh that's so great for you to tell me right now as a so i go so i go in

and i like because i hadn't been to a doctor in a long time been like 10 you know eight years or whatever and she's like well we've taken your blood pressure six times in the last six years and you're all pretty bang on normal i was like are you are you sure and she goes yeah yeah it's fine show you because i brought my machine and she goes show me how you take your machine i put it on she goes and she goes yeah it's like 144 over 81 she goes do you know what you did wrong and i was like what and she goes why the fuck are you And I was like, what? And she goes, why the fuck are you standing? I was like, what? And she goes, why are you standing up for your blood pressure test? I was like, what do you mean?

She's like, you're supposed to sit down. It's supposed to be at heart level. She goes, sit down, does it? And she's like, look at that. 127 over 71. Look at how normal that is. Oh, yeah, you're fine. I just linked you salt replacement.

I'm so dumb. I just linked you potassium chloride to replace all of the salt in your diet. Yeah, because I looked it up and because I asked my first doctor and they were like, yeah, why don't you just take more potassium? It's a direct counter to sodium.

It completely cancels it out and i was like i i don't know i just never took it seriously now i went back six months later and she was like have you been testing it yeah i had been sitting on my bar stool which um is elevated so it's cutting off my corroded artery on my legs when i'm leaning forward on my bar stool so no matter what i do it's always going to show over 140. When I'm sitting comfortably, it's a normal blood test. I'm like, I can't believe I was so worried I was going to die. And I've just been standing up, you know,

just not taping my big old whatever you call it. Red hot it is. Yeah, wild. I hate getting tested for things like that because I always assume it's going to be bad news, but you probably should do it more. Like I was surprised to like when I did the blood test thing and the only thing that was high other than my fucking calcium from drinking that period,

my cholesterol was a bit high, but like scrolling through everything else on the document being like, man, I feel like I got most of the answers right on this test like right right right right right all the all the within the realm you're like sick and then it's just like one little one little yellow area up there for your your fat ass cholesterol maybe slow down on the cheeses and meats i said no you can't make me charcuterie boards can die with me those are fighting words doc

well I am starving you guys want to call it a show yeah well you know everybody knows where to find Tucker yeah yeah we've been here 23 times like 20 figured out yeah so no post rolls we are good to go all right three times. Figure it out. Go say hi.

No post rolls. We are good to go. Alright. PKA 538.