Painkiller Already - PKA 548 W/ Tucker and Blame Truth: Woody's First Time, Kyle's New Toy, Tall Guy Problems

Episode Date: June 20, 2021

PKA episode 548 two guests this week because we don't have Taylor blame truth and Jericho thank you boys Kyle couple of sponsors tonight yeah blue chew and smart mouth we'll talk about them later in the show but for now yeah double guest night because well we fired Taylor

let's be honest let's just tell the truth you know the guy was getting married his time on earth is limited he's gonna stop being interesting now yeah he stop being interesting now. Yeah. He stopped being interesting like eight months ago. With the engagement, perhaps.

Yeah. He's just salted meats and Lord of the Rings references at this point. I don't want to co-sign on this. I was happy to go with the anti-marriage thing. And's a bad person but yeah what's going on gentlemen how are you guys doing tonight good good uh you know you're you're joking with that whole marriage thing but i i have legit real life friends or like ex-friends that they get married fucking disappear gone they don't do anything yeah you you strike me as the kind of guy who's a member of the church of kyle who believes that you maybe you want to like be a bachelor for as long as it's feasibly possible

and uh and just really enjoy yourself uh because there's just so many women out there and there's uh you know and and there's really no reason to lock things down because as men we're fertile forever essentially speaking for yourself you got an expiration date over there like i don't yeah i'm just shooting thanks yeah so that is that your plan blame truth uh yeah i need a reason to actually you know like i have a long distance thing going on and uh that's about it you know yeah i hear you yeah same like like i could you know we joke i joke about it a lot about like like no never get

married like like no i could i could definitely see getting married it's not completely out of the question it's just like what i'm really saying is i grew up in in this area where it seemed like everybody wanted to like immediately get married it's like oh we're in a hurry to do this we're we're 19 we're we're rotting on the insides it's a southern thing it's gotta be a southern thing it is yeah or a small town thing more than anything and if we're being honest it's a southern thing. It's got to be a southern thing. Or a small town thing more than anything. And if we're being honest, it's a stupid thing. It's a stupid thing. Look, I'm from the south, and frankly,

I think those things go hand in hand. You think that IQs are lower in the south? Yeah, I think so. I think so. If you are below the Mason-Dixon line, you are, by no fault of your own, you are dumber. That's just it.

It's just – It's in the water, Kyle. Does everybody who speaks from the south are dumb? I'm going to take a different line now and say that like maybe it's this. All right, right? Like Woody was talking about this the other day. Woody's on this adventure trip for U2's benefit. He's motorcycling across the whole country.

He's in Colorado right now. to his benefit he's motorcycling across the whole country he's in colorado right now and he was talking we were talking about small towns and how he never realized until he started like getting around the country a little bit more that small towns there really is nothing to do like there's no movie theater there's no even there's no walmart there's no like central hangout spot like you watch leave it to beaver and everybody's hanging out at the diner having milkshakes and shit no we don't have a diner like there's nothing to fucking do it's and in the south in small towns you're like dating options are so limited that like if you have found that pretty girl if you've locked yourself down like the head cheerleader or whatever in high school yeah it's nothing but

downhill from here like it's not like you're in LA and there's 500 OnlyFans girls who would just love to hang out with you tonight. That's not a thing. You can't get on Tinder and just flip for an hour through beautiful women. You flip for three minutes and two of them are related to you. I mean, it's got to be there i remember reading or at least hearing about something how how high a percentage of people ended up living within like a 20 mile radius of where they were born and grew up just like that small town thing because

if it's all you know right like even even i who traveled up and down the east coast a lot never really went to the west coast at all was was pretty content applying to only colleges in the Southeast. I was like, hey, this is where I'm familiar with. Now I live in LA, so it's different, but I get the mentality of being stuck to the only place that you know. You were doing drugs there for a minute. I was going to do them in Colorado. I had every intention of just blowing smoke at my camera all night long as a mock of Kyle. I would love it. I would love it if you were high right now. But I didn't get.

Maybe there'll be another show while I'm still in Colorado. But the timing was so tough. Yeah, the problem with Colorado. This is where Callie kicks the fucking ass, is you can't get weed delivered. Colorado doesn't do that. Stone Age. It's some sort of like

they just haven't quite gotten past that. There's people who are like, I don't know about people delivering marijuana. Come on. It's like, I don't know, man. There's like three dispensaries every five miles. Maybe we could just deliver it. Why is it better to drive to pick up drugs?

Right? I mean, not everybody can drive stoned, and not everybody should. I know one person in particular who does drive stoned, and he's going to always drive stoned. Well, I can probably ride a motorcycle stoned. You don't know until you try. I can definitely ride a motorcycle stoned. I can ride a paramotor stoned. I can fly a jet stoned. I can fly a motorcycle stoned. You don't know until you try. I can definitely ride a motorcycle stoned. I can ride a paramotor stoned. I can fly a jet stoned.

I can fly a jet stoned. I can perform some sort of surgery on myself in the woods after my father faked stabbing me. I flew Microsoft Flight Sim drunk. And I did take off from LAX in a 747 and landed it. So, I mean, and I did take off from LAX in a 747 and landed it. So I'm confident that if we ever get into a situation, you know, I'm at least capable of flying while under the influence. But I don't know about stone, though, guys. So in NC, you can't even have fucking alcohol delivered. You can't have beer delivered in North Carolina.

alcohol delivered you can't have beer delivered in north carolina wait but there also were brew throughs which were literally drive through like cold lockers where you'd go pick up your your beer so the fact that they made it easy enough you could just convert a car wash into like a glorified refrigerator aisle and but you can't get it delivered to your house much safer by the way yeah and i i can't mail I can't mail anything either. Also, I have had alcohol delivered. We had a sponsor. Was it like Wine.com? Kyle, do you remember who delivered us wine? Shit.

I don't remember. It was one of those wine... It was one of those online wineries. Hotloads said Wink. W-I-N-C. I don't know if that's a typo. That's that butthole tightening company. That's different. Wink. W-I-N-C? I don't know if that's a typo. That's that butthole tightening company. That's different. Wink!

In any case, I don't know how they got around it. Maybe they just didn't tell anyone. I think shipping, ordering online and having an 18 plus sign it is different from calling and having it delivered like Grubhub or Breed. I've tried to get beer

delivered just like that though. Like the wine thing and they won't fucking do it. delivered like grub hub or breweries. I've tried to get beer delivered just like that though. Like the wine thing and they won't fucking do it in NC. I can't mail it out either. I can't send beer as a gift. There's a beer that you can only get here. A brew here in my town. I tried to ship it to a buddy.

I fucking almost got arrested at the post office. I can imagine what that's like. What's happening behind you, Blaine Truth? He's got a little dog back there. Is there a dog? Yeah, he's got a dog. Oh, okay. I mean, it could be someone trying to kill me.

I don't know. It looks like there's snow behind you. That's a carpet? That's a carpet. All right. That's a carpet? Are you high? There's no telling.

No, I would love to see Woody high because I've seen Woody drunk and it's fun um he he lets loose a little bit and it's fun when he's when he's a little tipsy when he's drunk it's nobody's not many people are are fun or interesting drunk drunk woody is is not a lot of fun drunk me is not a lot of fun drunk most people is not a lot of fun but typically woody is fun and i think stoned woody would also be a lot of fun not Drug most people is not a lot of fun. But typically Woody is fun. And I think stoned Woody would also be a lot of fun. Not ripped, but a little giggly. Yeah, I can see that.

With the right company and the right content. Sure, right here on the show. So I wish that Colorado delivered weed. And that would be our mission right now, would be to get some weed delivered to Woody. And that's so wild, because it is a forward-thinking state with weed right like it was for sure first ones

to do all this stuff so it's just weird especially given now how lax like in lax they will not arrest you you're free and legally allowed to walk through and fly with up to an ounce of weed and that's just okay right and so it's wild to me that that is a thing that they're just like fuck it whatever but you know you go next state over and you're arrested for having any at all or it's just like i've flown out of la i've flown out of lax a bunch of times with so much weed in my luggage and i was just like they know like there's dogs everywhere they know like they have to know so you guys ready you guys ready for this on uh on sundays in north carolina you cannot buy

alcohol before noon and it's been like that for the past i don't know 32 years what about the atlanta airport where they won't they won't serve you alcohol on Sundays? At all? At all, which was a travesty for me flying back home from family time at 9.30 in the morning. All I wanted was a beer. There's a dispensary super close to me. Oh, you're going to run to it. Call them up. I have thought about it.

Here's a Google Maps image in the PGA. Woody, I think it's worth it it i think it's worth it for you to run and get some i i i can also see how it was 0.1 miles from here but you just want to go in and you want to say hey i want i want a uh a vape pen yeah um as the weakest thing you have because i've never smoked before i do a podcast and everybody wants to see me get high just tell them and uh and you'll be in and out of there in 10 minutes yeah they'll give you a dose it'll I've never smoked before. I do a podcast and everybody wants to see me get high. Just tell them. And, uh, and, and you'll be in and out of there in 10 minutes.

Yeah. They'll give you a dose. It'll probably be like, literally the pen's called a dose and the each it's it's, it'll be like, you know, like you won't be able to get too high. A vape pen.

That's what I asked for. Yeah. And ask and ask for a hybrid or sativa leaning hybrid because we don't want you getting couch locked. Yeah. Basically tell them you don't want something that's going to put you to sleep. You want to get giggly and creative. There you go.

That's going to be so wonderful. He's doing it. He's doing it. I'll leave it a minute. Just leave your camera on. That's fine. This is going to be wonderful. I'm so excited. Hybrid or sativa leaning hybrid. this is going to be wonderful. I'm so excited for what he's going to have.

Hybrid or sativa leaning hybrid. Tell them you're going to be active. Tell them exactly what you're doing. You don't want to be sleepy. They'll recommend a sativa, I'm sure. It really is the easiest thing in the world, too. I emailed my probation officer

the other day, and I was like, hey, dumb question. I ask you those a lot because I never know what he's going to say yes or no to. It's kind of weird because at first I was under the impression that this guy really wanted to be locked down. But after meeting him, he realizes that my whole situation is kind of bullshit. He deals with hardened criminals on a daily basis. He's telling me while I'm pissing in a cup, he's like,

Kyle, I'm so stressed out. You don't even know this job. I don't know, man. I just got out of prison for half an ounce of weed. I'm pretty stressed out too. I'm pissing in a cup in front of a stranger in my guest bathroom right now. He's just like, you don't even know how stressful

this job is. I'll be back. We kind of got this connection, I thought. And so when I wanted to go gambling with some friends, I was like, there's no way that he's going to let me drive to Cherokee, North Carolina, out of state, two states over, and gamble. It just seems like something he's going to be like,

are you fucking kidding me, bro? But I emailed him because I was in a call playing poker with friends already, and he was just like, yeah, where are you going to be staying? He didn't give a fuck. He's like, how many days are you going to be gone? Where are you staying? That's all I need to know. I'm like, I'm going to stay for three days and I'm going to be at the Harris Resort in Cherokee, North Carolina.

He's like, all right, have fun. Don't lose too much money. Didn't give a fuck. I guess I'm just kind of confused. What is he choosing to be lenient on? Do you have an in-stateia like it's the northern region i believe which doesn't even extend to northeast georgia where my parents are from so i have to ask permission to like go see my dad and shit um and uh and so it's really just like metro atlanta and like the surrounding counties out like maybe three counties deep if that makes sense so it's like this like radius of 60 or 70 miles from atlanta um and so like i didn't know if he

was gonna let me go or not but he was just like immediately like i mean 60 seconds later just like yeah let me know where you're going with the email so the other day everybody i know is doing delta eight like everybody i know like guys who don't even smoke weed who never smoked weed who are like delta eight you don't know no i don't either all right so delta eight is uh made from hemp oh no it's synth weed no no no no don't think synth weed this is not like uh um like like k like k2 shit or whatever this is yeah right it's not spice no it's not spice nothing like that like like this is this stuff is really legit um and it gets you high just like

marijuana does apparently and the industry has exploded like if there's some way to invest in it right now do it for the short term because states haven't caught up yet because uh they've got like flour that you can smoke they've got um pens like vape pens and they've got concentrate they've got everything that you can get from edible from uh marijuana they've got edibles as well and like everybody i know who's in like non-legal states is doing this shit they're telling me like oh i'm so fucking high right now i'm like yeah but do you have like a hangover like no no it's just like weed i sleep super well at night and then i wake up and i'm just ready to smoke some more if i want or not i just feel great i'm just like shit

i want to do some delta eight because it's not. I just feel great. I'm just like, shit, I want to do some Delta-8 because it's like, I don't understand the chemistry well enough to really break it down, but it's like one molecule off of marijuana, essentially. Oh, yeah, I'm reading it. It literally is one molecule because Delta-9 is just normal THC.

And it's just a little less, it just says that it's less potent. They don't really know why it gets you less high because it's still shit little it just says that it's less potent they don't really know why it gets you less high because it's still you know shit but it'll get you high just like not it's like a gray area that's cool it's a gray area and that's exactly what

I wrote to him in the email when I asked him if I could smoke Delta 8 I messaged my probation officer I'm like hey another dumb question here. Can I do Delta 8? Because, you know, everybody's doing it. And it's federally legal because of the hemp law.

And I'm on federal probation. And he just, like, finally gets back to me after, like, a week or something. He's like, absolutely not. You cannot do that under supervision, blah, blah, blah. And I was like fuck man that makes i can't believe that that you can't even drink or anything like that it just doesn't it really truly is one of the most wild concepts to me that you're like you're literally just locked into a small area of georgia not allowed to do fucking anything i'm like yeah i could go get that right now delivered to the door and it's like yeah and then fly out of state with it yeah it's super

fucking lame um i was i was showing the camera earlier but my camera's reversed and i don't know how to fix that shit but uh i've got this like uh countdown on my phone that i've shown people before but it's got oh that's what it is yeah it's like william wallace and freedom at the top and uh there's 106 days and seven hours left and i'm so colorado right or yeah i've got this big trip planned first things first like the moment i'm allowed to like my i'm gonna try to time it so my plane is like leaving the state of georgia the moment the clock rolls over. So I'm like 100% legal. But like we're I'm flying to Colorado with a bunch of friends.

Like it's actually a bunch of there's like five or six PKA fans. Like we've got this like $50 discord and like I hang out with those guys a lot. So like I'm bringing them along. And so we're going to rent this pretty nice house. I wouldn't say mansion, but nicer than. Uh, I wouldn't say mansion, but nicer than a house. I wouldn't say house either. It's a nice ass place for,

uh, for like a month. And I'm going to smoke weed every day. So much fucking weed for a fucking month. Solid. Just get stoned every day, all day, every day,

uh, with, with these dudes. And, uh, and then like when they all go home, I'm staying for another two weeks, at least,

uh, I'm smoking some more. And then, uh, when I get back, I'm going to start moving. I'm moving immediately. I'm getting out of this state. Probably going to Colorado. Colorado is nice. Yeah, I love Colorado.

I've been there so many times. And every time I went, it was for a smokecation, like me and Chiz or me and Chiz and Taylor. We went for the Super Bowl one year. We just sort of planned a vacation that was all about getting high as fuck in Denver or in Telluride. Telluride's awesome if you've never been. And just having a good time in Colorado for seven days or two weeks or something like that. I never do those bullshit vacations where you just drop in somewhere for three days or

some shit. Like that's the only vacation I do. It sucks, man. Although you're, you're, you're in LA. There's fun shit to do already. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not pressed to, to, I don't have to leave the state to do a staycation or whatever in the fucking woods if I want to. Yeah. Zach says Texas allows guns for fellas. I'm going to fuck. You think I want a gun more than I want a joint? I like guns. I love weed.

I'd shoot myself in the foot if I could smoke right now. I really would. With what caliber? Because the foot bones, that's going to sh shatter take a long time to heal i'm i'm aiming between the bones but but i anything smaller than a 38 i think i think anything smaller than 38 like any of those really smaller calibers you didn't specify like lethal weapons you just pick a pellet gun technically oh yeah yeah oh that's that's

true that's true people honestly that's the other thing that's on the list uh for for you know 106 days from now because like um obviously felons aren't allowed firearms but people who are on probation aren't allowed like anything like i can't even have like pepper spray or uh or like i asked about my kitchen knives because i cook a lot i have really nice kitchen knives. And the guy was just like, keep them in the kitchen. I'm just like, all right, all right, good. Thank you for not taking away my expensive ass fucking like chef's knives. And so like, but there's this whole list of things that as a felon, you can still have. And they include like anything archery related.

And there are like some scary fucking crossbows like repeater crossbows that cock themselves and uh but also they make these air rifles that shoot 50 caliber bullets at like the speed of sound so i i definitely got to get one of those and black powder weapons like you remember how in the movies like the pirates um all they had was those little one-shot pistols. They'd have a few of them. They're just like Jack Sparrow style, pulling multiple pistols. I got to get a tactical vest with eight muzzleloader pistols stuck into holsters on it.

You're literally going to be packed down. I can reach for another one and go again. There's a lot of stuff on the shopping list for October 2nd. I'm pretty excited. I'm glad that this shit is almost wrapped up. I was thinking about it today. I was like, I can't believe it's been two years since I got out. Almost two years.

You know, it's a year and nine months or some shit. Yeah, I had no idea it was that freaking restrictive as well. Being confined to one area, like, it's crazy to me i don't know yeah i i thought it was you know every step of the way i've just been like okay it sounds miserable all right yeah all right cool we're like oh yeah and you'll have to come in for drug counseling sessions i'm like all right how many uh eight i'm like cool uh who pays for that? You do. Cool. Y'all take debit card? No. I remember when I got into a car accident a couple of years ago and it was taking the insurance company, they were incompetent or something. And I was just sick of paying for my

rental car. They only paid for it for a certain amount of days. So I'm like, okay, I'll pay for it after the fact or whatever. I paid for like, for like a week or so. And I got sick of that. So I was like, you know what? Just like take the rental car. I'll just sit it out until all this shit gets worked out or whatever. And I get the insurance claim. And I was here for like two weeks or whatever. And it's not even the fact that like I wanted to go somewhere. It's the lack of option, the lack of freedom. I've been sitting in the house for two weeks. No big deal. But two weeks and I don't have the option to get the fuck out if I want to.

It does something to your head. All right. This reminds me of something. Remind me. All right. So I'm 35. I turned 35 in May. How old are you two guys?

I know you're 32. 28. Good looking 32, two guys? 32. 28. Good looking 32, by the way. You don't look 28. We're all aging well. Young G. We're looking good. I see these people on Tinder

and shit who are like these girls who are like 18 to 24 who don't have fucking driver's licenses and have no intention of getting one what the fuck is that about that is being chauffeured around by uh like desperate fucking man if they're on tinder you said tinder i mean just like just like that that's my only like contact with 18 to 24 year old girls right like there aren't a lot like like like in my like like normal circles or whatever like like i see i see girls like on dating sites and shit

but in the last 10 years in the in the last 10 years uh there are so many i don't know how to say this without being like sexist there are so many um men that will fucking – there's like a weird daddy thing, I guess. I don't know, like drive me around, fucking buy me shit, be a pimp for my asshole, all that stuff. And I don't know. Even my dog doesn't like it. He hates it. I saw this profile on Bumble or Tinder one time, and it was like, we're the sugar babies. Oh, yeah. And not we're the sugar babies.

Not I'm a sugar baby. We are the sugar babies. It was like a picture of eight cute girls who were like, I don't know, 20 years old. They're like, we're looking for guys to take care of us. I was just like, I'm reporting you hoes. Bumble's cool about that because when you report somebody on Bumble, they send you a fucking message back and they're like, we got them. Thank you for your assistance, Kyle.

Yeah. Well, there's a, that's a very popular thing in bigger cities. Like, I mean, I just like, I have interacted with a lot of people that either are that person or are like living through that lifestyle. Like a friend of mine, lovely human, but like I would be doing the same thing to guys like, hey, come to Miami, stay in this penthouse with eight other girls. Just have fun. We're going to go to the club. We're going to go to dinner, like just be there and look good.

And she's like, of course I go. Like, like what why would i not free trip everything's paid for like and then i go home it's like it takes us she's not fucking this guy no she didn't fuck the guy are you sure she's not fucking this guy i promise i know she is not fucking this guy there are like i'm becoming more and more convinced that she fucked this guy no no no no i mean like there's so like this is not a one-off thing like these people these guys and i'm i i can't see like any like woman doing this but these guys just having an entourage of women around them right same way that like a dj will fill up the dj booth with the good-looking girls same exact thing except these ones you're just paying for their whole trip and i promise that that guy thinks he's getting sex and he probably does get sex from plenty of those

people just like hey come stay in my villa in mykonos like yeah you're kind of like making it but like the the whole sugar baby thing there are billboards in la there's a specific site called like sugar yeah something and i you see these billboards and i in my head i'm like who the fuck is like yes this is it this is like my last chance like just get an escort like a normal person like yes yes yes get an escort like a normal person just get a regular whore okay not one of these pretend whores that's what they want they want them to be pretend whores so they can fucking flex. It looks like you're not paying for it.

It's weird. Getting an actual escort, people might look down on you. Get a girl next door and pay her. You don't have her wearing a shirt that says whores.org or something like that. He's back. I love that you rode the motorcycle to get the drugs.

I forgot about that for a second. Nice gloves. Yeah, 0.1 mile. 0.1 mile. Did you score? What'd you get? I did. Not the good stuff.

Wait, that looks like... Okay. Oh, yeah. It's fine. It's an Orangina Stevia. Let me see. A fake sugar. Orange Vagina Stevia. Let me see. Stevia. A fake sugar. Orange Vagina Stevia.

Yeah. Single use ceramic core CO2 oil vape system. It's a Lyft ticket, apparently. I get it. It gets you high. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it shouldn't even have a button.

You just pull and you're good to go. Although it might take a couple to heat up the coil. You might have to inhale a couple times. Okay. He said two or three hits max. Max. Yeah, well, you'll be able to see what you can breathe out. It'll be apparent.

How big is a hit? Is it like from that 70s show where you just inhale as much as you can and hold it? No, no. Take it easy. Don't do that. we're here for like three more hours take it nice and easy i don't need just passing out on me like a half breath you know just like but you don't even need to pull that heart yeah you're gonna be i'm gonna laugh when woody just fucking gets narcoleptic for the rest of the show right it just starts nodding off. Let's light it up.

That's good. There you go. Yeah. So there you go. All right. Now let's wait. Let's wait three minutes, five minutes, something like that. I really would.

Yeah, and then the good news about a pen is that it's very controlled, and you can get as much as you need. And with weed, it's like alcohol. You could get higher later if you wanted to. You know, this is not like, like people talk about like smoking weed is like, oh, I'm going to be high in 45 minutes. Like, I don't know. Like you're going to know what about, does it hit this fast or am I just high now? Oh yeah.

It's that easy. Yeah. It hits that fast. You're now you're high. Yeah. I think. Yeah, it hits that fast. Now you're high.

Yeah, I think I did. All right. That's nice. So, I mean, I see your location data. You're in the middle of Colorado. Yeah. So what was the store like? Did it look like an Apple store or was it a little more homey?

There was a lot of security at the front door. There was a little waiting room. They carded me, but they didn't just card me. They entered my card into a system to verify that it wasn't just a bouncer using his judgment. I think they used a computer. They scan it and they check it with the DMV. They only take cash.

There's an ATM machine in that little lobby cell thing. They've got you there. I had some cash on me, so I just walked right in. When I told them that I had never smoked before, which is only kind of true. One time in the Dominican Republic, we tried and it didn't work.

We might as well smoke oregano. I was like, I've never smoked before. My friend said Sativia vape pen or something like that. He's like, never? Suddenly I'm a celebrity. There's three employees there. They're all

paying way too much attention to me. I don't want anyone to like i don't know somehow i want to keep it a secret from the people at the marijuana dispensary that i might smoke pot yeah i think i might have just blinked out and and uh you know i'm like embarrassed that i'm buying this i'm like what would my mom think hey mom i'm not sure you're watching this and uh that's just going through my head. And he's just like, dude, yeah, we'll get you this. We'll get you that.

He's hooking me up with like, I don't know, supplies that I will need to get high with for a long time. And it's like, no, no, no. This is just that I'm passing through Colorado. Like we're not on the same wavelength. He's got me with these like rechargeable things. And he's trying to throw in gummies and this and that. And he's trying to get me to review his store

and all this on top of it. I just kind of want what Kyle said to get. Even though I asked for Sativa, they hit me up with a hybrid and an Indiga pen too. They were selling those, but I was like, no, no, no.

They told me what to get. That's what i came back with way to stay true to your uh to your guns that's they were i like indica i like indica oh that's your strongest yeah because i want to get fucked up um but it's a different kind of uh experience than your the one that the one that you're smoking is a little more less body more mind right yeah like you'll you'll feel is a little more less body, more mind, right? Like you'll feel a little giggly, silly, it's more creative stuff.

Indica is like, I want to go to bed. I want to sit on the couch and feel like I'm a part of the couch. You know those old D.A.R.E. commercials where the girls get painted? They just like sink into it. It's actually like that. The guy behind the counter is like, Indica in the couch. That's how you remember. I'm like, alright, I like that. The guy behind the counter is like, Indica in the couch. That's how you remember.

I'm like, alright. I got that. He didn't have one for Sativa though. Sunny Sativa. I hope you called it what you called it when you got back. Sativia. I messed it up. Orangina was the flavor.

I love that it's Orangina because I'm imagining Donald Trump, but with a pussy. I'm imagining what that would taste like. Does he grab his own pussy by the pussy? What is it about weed names that we really couldn't figure out?

Maybe we should normalize the names a little bit. Maybe we shouldn't call it like like gigafuck or like like concrete barrier or something like that they're all such a like a hard name to just be like yeah I want the super glue thanks like

I don't know because it's this weird thing where it used to be this street thing and it was you know like strains were named by like criminals and so like like who who names these things criminals do criminals do and now it's like was public growing in his backyard and he's like this is that good shit yeah and and now now they're named by like guys are store owners, businessmen. Or at least legitimate businessmen, I guess is the right way to say it. So it's Girl Scout Cookies or something like that.

If you think about it, the names they got on the street, it's like they don't have to advertise anything. Everybody already knows it if they know. And if they don't know, then they're going to know. Yeah, if I heard train wreck, I was like, for real? Yeah. Oh, I guess I'm going to fucking die. like, they're going to know. Yeah. If I heard train wreck, I was like, for real? Yeah. Oh, I guess I'm going to fucking die. Yeah.

Let's go. Let's go. One of my, one of my like, uh, illicit marijuana dealers, he would get seeds from California. So like he actually had the right strains. So when you bought train wreck, you were getting train wreck. So that, that was pretty cool. Nice. How long does it last?

Um, it depends. As long as you want it to yeah i mean like no keep going he's like each puff like like what's the half life of each puff yeah that's what i yeah i'd say i'd say like i'd say what like 45 minutes uh to like to like when it starts to taper off and then maybe like two hours after after the initial where you're like not noticeably yeah this is good data yeah yeah so full high starts in like two minutes last 45 and then tapers for another hour roughly speaking yeah it's always like instantly high and like after after 20 minutes i'm not as high as i want to be anymore i'm like that was really great we got to refresh it top it off a little bit it's like refilling After 20 minutes, I'm not as high as I want to be anymore.

I'm like, that was really great. We got to refresh it. Top it off a little bit. It's like refilling the glass. Yeah. Like every 20 or 30 minutes, I would want some more. I feel like Kyle's recalling his Kyle athlete days. Back when he had an Olympic tolerance, right? This is high.

Olympic tolerance. That's funny. Because current Kyle cannot perform can't hang he's talking about current kyle's right here with me yeah it's same level 100 oh man that that makes me think back to when uh i was like a fat alcoholic two years ago three years ago something like that yeah and um i could drink like a fucking six pack of ipa i like a starter you know like just as a starter now fucking two ipas and i'm like jesus christ man how the fuck did i do this you know we had um what's ipa uh india pale ale just a hipster beer heavy heavy

high alcohol beer yeah also delicious we had uh there's there's a youtube channel that was called strange central where he like reviewed different kinds of weed and he would do all sorts like weed olympic type shit and we had him on the show like years and years ago and then like like youtube cracked down on the weed stuff and took his channel away i think we had him back on the channel like a month and a half ago or something like that roughly and uh he had gone through this like a month and a half ago or something like that roughly. And he had gone through this like crazy depression and alcoholism phase after YouTube took his channel away. Oh, no.

And he was talking about how much vodka he would drink in a day. And he would drink like a gallon of vodka a day. Like he would wake up at like whatever, like 6 or 7 a.m. And he would be at the gas station buying another bottle of vodka and the gas station guy would have to go unlock it from the case because he's the first vodka customer of the day. He would talk about shaking, getting his debit card in the machine,

not being able to get it in on the first two or three tries. He went to rehab for alcohol twice. Jesus Christ. See, YouTube, what you've done use of your fault i didn't really think of it through that lens but you're right it's all a damn effective youtube crashing down on the pot let the man smoke his weed and so like i used to when i first started my roommate back in college billy was the one that you know he he was i mean he got arrested

for selling weed out of our uh dorm room all this stuff it was really great but like he was the one that would be watching at like fucking two in the morning some of these channels like uh custom grow 420 or some shit like that where this guy would do like weed challenges and it was like the kind that you're you're watching this guy do this and you're like you're not enjoying yourself he'll be like i, I'm, I'm going to smoke a gram of hash oil in one puff. And I'm like, Oh, like why?

Like that's, that's so unnecessary. But yeah, the dude would do it. Cry off a lot, drool everywhere. Like, you know,

and then the video would have like alcohol too. Right. Like how many guys shoe? Nice. Uh, what's that guy? Badlands chugs. He just does Oh, yeah.

I'm thinking of random college kids doing beer bongs and stuff where probably they're drinking more than they want to. Yeah, for sure, but not to the extent... Shoe Nice would literally chug a fifth of Goldschlager and then eat a deodorant stick. And then... And you're like...

You're doing it in the wrong order. Gotta keep the breath fresh. Oh my gosh. I'm sure he's onto eating roadkill at this point. What is he doing now? Doesn't he hate PKA? Doesn't he hate you guys?

Probably. I think I remember being in the episode of like your one of your maybe it was like 500 or some milestone episode. Chiz or somebody made a video and I think I remember watching it and he just was like very, very like backhanded compliment the whole time. I think that's just him. I think it's just. Yeah, I watched that that YouTube is like a little mini doc or whatever and he would oh i just the people shoot nice the shocking downfall 2008 to 2021 i think it's a hot load just right yeah he called us a lesbian book club that's not even an insult that's pretty awesome

i don't know what to rename the show apparently we're not hardcore enough for him because we don't eat raw meat and chug a liter of vodka after. Hey, well he uploaded a video two hours. He's still uploading a gallon milk slam. Death nut 3.0 challenge.

How many views is he getting? On some of the bigger ones, 50k from two months ago, but really it's like looking like about like 25k Leonardo da Vinci eats raw mints and it's him not dressed like Leonardo da Vinci

like wearing a wig eating raw beef apparently he's doing he's killing it on TikTok I don't use TikTok do you get is there some sort of like monetization that's my question not right now TikTok, I'm sorry. I don't use TikTok. Do you get... Is there some sort of like... Modernization? Yeah, modernization. That's my question.

Not right now. It's the same as Vine. I also don't use TikTok, but they don't have like in-stream ads as far as I know. However, like TikTok has so many fucking people using it. Like eight months ago, I thought to myself,

let me make a TikTok, not talk about it, not promote it, just use hashtags and upload gaming clips. And I had a gaming videos get 250 000 tick like views on tiktok with me only having 1800 followers none of whom came from my audience right it was just me using the hashtags so like ever i feel like you can kill it in tiktok if you just get one viral thing he makes good i just don't know what the downstream is from killing it on TikTok, right?

It's like building your brand and then using it to monetize other stuff. So if you're selling merch and shit, that's how the Paul brothers got so fucking wealthy. They were fine. And then they moved to YouTube and did all the merch shit. And now look at them. Okay.

That must be because when I last watched him, he was getting shit views. Garbage. Fucking less than a thousand. Shoe nice? Yeah, shoe nice. The TikTok thing must have paid off because 25 to 50K is solid, especially for just eating fucking raccoon's asshole. I want to see him literally become a predator.

I want to see him in the wild stalking animals. I think he's behind a tree taking them down. He's actually Bear Grylls now. Brushing the vultures out of the way. I would watch a stream where he just goes around not only hunting, but scavenging.

He finds an old can and he eats it. Yeah, where is Shoe Nice eating the entire gum collection underneath the subway rail? This one's got some flavor left in it, boys. He's just licking each one like a big red juicy fruit. He can name every one of them. If he did a road trip where the only food he ate was roadkill.

Oh my God. did a road trip where the only food he ate was roadkill? Yes. Oh my god. I'm eating each local area's delicacy side of the road, roadkill. Yeah. Wow. He's killing it on TikTok. He has 7,000 videos?

Good God. What a redemption story. Also, when you break it down hold on let's not freak out here he is gaining about a thousand or two thousand followers per day but you look and he averages 18 000 19 000 views per video so it's so good right and it's still good yeah but it's like he gets more on his youtube but it's daily too so that's a he's he's uh yeah that's you know uh they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks i love that he's using the same profile a he's he's yeah, that's, you know, they say you can't teach an old dog. I love that he's using the same profile.

No, he's using the same tricks. I don't know. I don't co-sign that. OK, I mean, he's on a different platform, though. TikTok, you can market about anything, you know, so this guy's been using the same profile picture since we played paintball in 2011 or something like that. And Joliet, Illinois, like a change of periods. illinois like it's really changed appearance so i guess he's like oh he's changed he's so proud of those blue eyes he's always wearing he talks about it

in a creepy way too i remember watching his old videos and he would be like in those beautiful blue sky blue eyes like in the middle of chugging vodka like just like drink it so I can click off the video. Get it down. How you feeling over there, Woody? I'm happy. You're looking like Buddha right now. Zen mode, huh? God, I wish I could smoke some fucking dope. This is just making Kyle like...

It would be like... It's like the episode where I think it was Kyle was drinking and I think I had just kicked basically like alcoholism and I saw him drinking and I'm like, fuck it. I gotta have at least one beer and then that one beer turned into two and then that's how they get you, man.

That's how they get you. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. You didn't open the beer and force it down my throat. The high is not that high. I'm sorry. That's okay. You didn't open the beer and force it down my throat. The high is not that high. I don't know. You can just keep hitting it. He said two or three. If it were me, I would be like

I'm about to go get my nicotine vape in a second because I'm missing it right now, but I would be smoking it like that. I would just be hitting it over and over. Does this little clear lens tell you how much is left yeah you can see the goo in there if you like move it around like that liquid that goo in there that's you have half a half a gram in there so for me if i don't i don't smoke vape pens i much prefer like straight like a bong or a joint like the act of the act of of of literally

exhaling a volcano of cloud into somebody's faces you know um but no i mean that'll last you if you really if you really wanted to guess it probably like 70 80 90 puffs if if you're if you're ripping that that's a lot and and and that's only until you can see like a noticeable change. You could probably get a good 250 out of it for half a gram if you're smoking it like over time. By the way, that half a gram is less than what I would smoke per day of concentrate. Like I would smoke almost a gram. Wait, were you – you were smoking like – you were doing like a gram of wax? Yeah.

Probably like 0.75, 0.5 grams. On the tier list, Woody, of smoking weed, right? Like you have like your light beers, right? You're just general like you can go buy some weed. And then you have concentrates like you're smoking, which are great. And then you have dab rigs, which anytime you need like a blowtorch to smoke anything like you're already in the next level of like this is no longer like you're you're not casually consuming a drug like you have a blowtorch for this so the torch like a grandma it's like it's like it's like taking

ripping shots i could not do a dab right now and be coherent. It would be so bad. Yeah. It's a different level. It's great shit. It's the best. It's the best. I fucking love it. It's,

I don't, I'm really excited about testing my tolerance level because like when I was smoking a lot, like I couldn't take a tolerance break. I'd be like, all right, we'll take a tolerance break. But first,

and then the next day would break. I'd be like, all right, we'll take a tolerance break. But first, let's get high. All afternoon. And then the next day would come around and it's like, whew, man, it is 10 a.m. I haven't smoked since yesterday. I haven't smoked since last night. I just slept eight hours. Midnight. Yeah, it's been hours since I've smoked.

I don't think I can do this. We need to smoke some more. So I've had no tolerance break throughout that whole period of time. But now it's been – it's going to be like two years and three or four months or something like that when I finally get to smoke again. And it's going to be – there's zero tolerance after like two years. There's zero tolerance after two years. There's zero tolerance after two weeks, I feel like. It's almost completely gone after two weeks or something

like that. I think just hitting a little bowl is really going to send me to a scary place and I'm really looking forward to it. You would love the way this smells right now. I can smell it. I hope the hotel just comes fucking bashing on the door.

It's pretty mild. I'm like, is it in my nose hairs? Is it like what's happening? I've never been crazy about the way weed smells. Like I smell it all the time in Atlanta. Like I was just at a gas station like four hours ago. I'm like, weed, weed. Who got it?

Who's got the weed? And I look around and everybody's black, so you don't know. And then see it's like I don't know if it's weed or if somebody just hit a skunk in their truck um every single time i can never really tell there um it's it smells like that but also the fucking there's like a plant that smells like weed out here in the summertime and it could just be weed honestly um but i i don't think it is the guy i'm doing this motorcycle trip with doesn't smoke at all like didn't even know what weed smells like so it wasn't like a year or two ago he was like you know it turned out that was weed all this time and people hitting

skunks with their car is way less common than i thought i'll i'll i'll retell the story to that day i die because i think it's so ridiculous that when wings was staying at my house for his fitness uh thing me and my girlfriend went downstairs to the basement and got high as fuck um just smoking flour out of a bong and uh i didn't want wings to know that i was smoking weed because wings can't keep a secret to save his fucking life like he can't even keep his own secrets, much less mine. We came upstairs all bleary-eyed, just fucking red-eyed.

Dinner's being prepared and we're really excited about that. We're all sitting there watching Trailer Park Boys or some nonsense and he's on the couch next to us and he's just like, somebody cooking cabbage? I smell cabbage i'm just like i look at my girlfriend i'm like he thinks he thinks weed smells like cabbage

this loser doesn't know what weed smells like because nobody's ever offered him it cabbage but they've offered him cabbage they've offered him cabbage boiled cabbage he had no idea what weed smelled like how do you go through life without Cabbage? But they've offered him cabbage. They've offered him cabbage many a time. Boiled cabbage. He had no idea what weed smelled like. How do you go through life without learning what weed smells like? You've never been at a party where weed was... I learned what weed smells like.

Stop. Stop. Stop. You can stop at you've never been at a party. You don't have to go to a party. I was on a bus headed to a ski slope and someone fired up their bong or something on the bus. And that's when I learned what weed smelled like. Yeah.

Very bold. I just always knew. I don't know. Like, like I remember in like high school, like someone started smoking outside, like, and it was just like,

that's weed. That's what I just knew then. And I don't, I don't remember the first time I smelled it. I'm sure the first time I smelled it, I had no idea, but that's the first time I remember smelling it and being like, that's weed. That's weed.

That's weed for sure. I mean, like also just looking at somebody smoking out of a bowl and I'm like, well, that's not, you're not ripping tobacco, right? You're not like, ooh, wacky. That guy really likes cigarettes. He's got a, He's rolling his own He's an aficionado Oh look he's rolling them up

Like a cowboy That's one of those hipsters That's the ultimate hipster move By the way when you're rolling your own cigarettes I knew people that did that I still do. Yeah. It's a thing. You'd think

every time somebody buys rolling papers here at a gas station or whatever, everyone assumes weed. Yeah. But a ton of my friends would be like legitimately fucking going and making their own cigarettes because it's cheaper or something. Yeah. Is it just cheaper?

Also, I've heard not as toxic or whatever because it's just wrong. That's what they say. You can get that big bag of tobacco. I mean, it's big. Yeah. It looks to me like two pounds of tobacco or something. I don't know what it actually is, but it's a big

fucking sack of tobacco. It's like two pounds for like seven bucks or something. Yeah, crazy cheap. Oh and a carton of smokes like even georgia georgia has cheap cigarettes but still a carton of smokes is 70 80 or something and new york or something they're probably 150 or something crazy like that so i guess i get it but like i've smoked those things that is not something i enjoy like like i could smoke a cigarette right now and really enjoy it like oh yeah it's pretty good it's pretty good there's no. Like, I could smoke a cigarette right now and really enjoy it. Like, oh yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good.

There's no way in hell I'd smoke a rolled fucking cigarette. I've never smoked a rolled cigarette either because it... They're harsh. It just seems... Why do it? It seems like there's a reason.

Yeah, like why? Why? They perfected cigarettes, guys. They've already passed. They haven't... Nobody's invented like cigarette two, I guess. Oh, I'll tell you what does interest me, though. Like I remember seeing they make those rolling machines for cigarettes.

I've never seen those. And it like rolls a perfect cigarette that looks like a store-bought cigarette. And I was always like, man, got to put weed in there. I'd love to put weed in here. You can get me perfect little joints you can get uh there's a bunch of brands that sell um weed cigarettes even with like a like the filter looks identical to a cigarette but it's just weed the filter cuts down on the high no there's it's not like an actual porous filter it's just like it's not like a filter filter it's just it looks like

a filter maybe a glass tip or something like that. I've used glass tips, and I've used the... I don't like glass tips. I don't like them either. They kind of feel weird. It's better than having a soggy joint. Especially if you're sharing. I don't know about you. I'm just licking around everything, just sucking it.

Tell me you've seen that Soulja Boy video of him playing GTA, playing music or whatever. And it's a clip on Twitch, and people are telling him to turn down the music. And he's like, hey, no, I'm not turning down the music. And then turns on his music, and it's, like, distorted. But he's deep-throating a joint in that, like, or a blunt, like, all the way down and pulling it out. And I was like, I don't know about that.

I've got to find the video. So he was deep-throating. He didn't suck I've got to find the video. He was deep throwing. He didn't suck from the tip of it. He sucked from the deep end. He was rolling it. He was trying to make sure that it wouldn't come apart. The first thing I found was on Twitter. This guy goes, everybody talking about

Soulja Boy's music being too loud in his stream. How about his deep throat blunt technique at the end? Jurgle, jurgle. Can we watch this? Yeah, there is music, I guess I'll call it. I don't know if anybody could even identify

the song. That's how distorted it is. Here it is on livestream fails. Oh, that's great. Fuck, bro. I don't care if the music is too loud. Yeah, he's got... I'm waiting to see him deep throat

this blunt. This is going to be great. Oh, he got it all the way in. Oh, okay. Oh, he's going back for more. Oh, three times now. Is the audience seeing it? No, I just clicked it and watched it on my own.

Yeah, I've watched it on my own as well. I'm not sure how to share it to the audience. I'm not. Let's see. You clicked share. Oh, you'd have to play the live stream fails. That seems to me like the least likely one to be copyrighted in any way. Cause YouTube is weird.

Um, I would play the live stream fails one, but you can see soldier boy. Like, like I'm familiar with like the putting in your mouth to like get it wet and everything. Like, like, but he went back three more times. And also like you can do targeted, you can do targeted surgery. You don't need, it was unlikely that the entire, like, the entire blunt needed his saliva like that. Yeah. Maybe he was just practicing for something else.

I don't know. Yeah, he got in there good. His streams are funny as fuck, though. Never seen him on Twitch. I've only seen one blunt ever. It just seemed like I'm not good at rolling my i've got a uh or i had all my shit's been either confiscated or thrown away but i had a joint roller like one of those little tools you used to roll them up and uh and i could roll

perfect joints with that obviously because it's like no problem once you know what you're doing but uh wait soldier here come on i'm not finished yet one more time yeah thank you look at it get back get in there deep four times who and the clip ends who knows if he doesn't keep doing it like that's like how you fucking eat a popsicle man one of those like you know if you really like a popsicle yeah you don't do that to a great popsicle. That's only when you get that cherry. Cherry's good. Cherry's good.

God, he was enjoying that way too much. The Astro Pops. You guys ever had those? I'm 32, but you guys ever had Astro Pops? Fucking the blue and the white and the red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so good. Like Popsicle, right?

Rocket Pops. Rocket Pops. Yeah. Derek makes pre-workout More Plates, More Dates that's Bomsicle flavored, and it tastes just like those Popsicles. Oh, fuck. I got to get some of that. It's confusing. I don't know.

Yeah. What do you got going on? You have a – it sounded cool to me. A shoot? A video thing? Yeah. So it's prime. There, a shoe video thing. Yes. So, uh,

it's prime. We're doing, there's a prime day event for Amazon today. Um, so I'm hosting that with somebody else and we're just, I think we're going, uh, they're picking us up.

We're going and streaming on the way there. And then it's, there's a concert by this artist called her H E R, um, Billy Eilish and kid Cuddy. So I'm going to watch all that, stream it, you know, like a watch party thing on the roof of this building in Hollywood.

So Amazon Prime Day is hosting an event. Yeah. And it's a concert? Are they picking you up because you're a music bigwig or because you're a Twitch streamer? No, Twitch. Yeah, for Twitch. And this is just going off of my co-host who's also a twitch streamer so i was just like okay and it was a very last minute i mean not very last minute i just we didn't know when it would happen until the day

before so um yeah i mean that's why we had to move this a little earlier but it should be fun i i like it it's music as far as i know it's music and and streaming so it's like that's a new thing yeah i kind of like this stuff um i mean well that's neat that sounds awesome i haven't been to a concert since the fucking covid so i was at one last night uh because la removed all the restrictions two days ago and my friends um run this excuse me i guess i'll call it like a um promotion company called brownies and lemonade so they throw these um warehouse parties and live shows concerts for electronic dance music um so they had one last night went very sweaty was kind of weird like social like being around 800 people in a very enclosed space was fine

it wasn't like that bothersome to me it was just kind of weird getting used to talking to people for that long a time like getting used to small talk and and how to fill any time i was like i don't know how to do this anymore but it was fun so really you feel like your social skills have changed for sure yeah i only talked to the same 10 people in LA just to be safe with my friends. The rest of my time is spent, and the majority of it was spent talking to a chat room

on Twitch every day. Do you feel like COVID still... Forget reality. I'm talking about socially. Does COVID still exist where you are? For me, once the vaccination sort of got out we just stopped and i mean i like i because you guys are different you're over there uh in north carolina la has the or california has the second lowest uh rate per 100 000 people it's at like nine right vermont is the number one this is

infected or vaccinated the rate no no i'm talking about the rate of in in uh uh transmission per 100 000 people so nine people out of 100 000 are infected and transmission and can transmit it so we're the lowest and there's only been uh we've been averaging averaging 128 case new cases a day for the last two months. There's 10 million people in LA. Yeah, that's not bad. I mean, and I have vaccination, and I live alone. All these things to me, yes, it still exists.

Everybody still wears masks and Ubers. I feel like that's just kind of a common courtesy at this point. I'd be fine doing that. And that's it. Gyms, nobody's wearing masks anymore. You can if you um and and like that's it like gyms nobody's wearing masks anymore you can if you want to and that's dope if you're feeling kind of sick just wear one but like socially the mask option stays open me too you know uh sometimes i just don't i'm fucking ugly like don't look at me for a little bit like i don't know yeah i agree with

that sometimes um go ahead blame you i was just gonna say uh i i've been wearing a mask uh for you know the past fucking year and a half or whatever and um i actually forgot mine going into the grocery store last week or whatever and i'm just like fuck it like i'm just gonna go in whatever the mask rule is out and see now and i felt naked it was weird like i felt exposed even though i will you know i mean it's fine it's like safe and in my area it's like we're really spread apart small town so the the actual infection rate was very low anyway uh compared to like you know like new york city or something yeah uh so it just felt weird i don't know it's it's strange coming back into things and i'm thinking now like wow i

could go to a fucking concert i could go to the grocery store without a mask it's weird so it takes some time to get used to and i'm not gonna small talk anyway so yeah i'm coming across it's like a rapist or something so uh i just i don't want to bother yeah maybe maybe don't do small talk yeah no small talk here awful none uh yeah the first time or two i walked around with no mask i felt like i was being judged for being inconsiderate and like i know in my heart i'm double vaccinated that you know i've got the two shots and everything that i like i don't think i'm doing a bad thing but you think i am and that matters a little but now i'm kind of past that yeah oh i was passing immediately as soon soon as I got that second shot and

a week went by, I was like, I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. I'm like, this whole time I was wearing the mask for me, if we're all being honest. The mask was for me. It wasn't for you. I saw the ads. The mask is for you. It's for her and him and little

JoJo here with the gimpy leg. I'm thinking like, no, the mask is so I don't have to deal with people talking shit to me at the grocery store and so that I don't give this fucking potentially deadly disease to my father. That's what the mask is for. But once he was vaccinated and I was vaccinated, y'all are on your fucking

own. Y'all non-science believing fucking kooks. You want to die, fucking die. It's like that Rocky IV scene. If he dies, he dies. The only downside to your argument is I think you can't have it if you're under 16 or 12 or something like that.

There are some people who aren't. I've been telling people not to have kids for almost a decade now. Do you have them listening? You got to watch the show. It's on you. Yeah. I don't know who aside from kids can't have it. Jay, all right. You got to watch the show. Hey, it's on you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was about as close and bathed than other people's sweat and spit that I could possibly be outside of like a BDSM club. And that was the night before. Yeah. My leather club. Yeah. I was going to go to a BDSM club the other night and I found out they didn't have air conditioning and I was like, all right, I'm not going. Oh my God. The leather and the sweat. Do you have an AC in there like it's crowded at that place like like uh it's it's like crazy crowded like like

when i go before it's like i don't know how many people are in there 150 200 like obviously you don't know the size of the rooms you're like okay that could be a lot or a little but like it's packed so look i'm familiar with the porn genre but what what happens at a BDSM club? Are you really going to get laid there? Are you going to see a show of some sort? Yeah. Whips, chains, fucking boxing gloves, all kinds of shit.

A lot of people just hang out and chill. It's like a bring your own beer kind of thing. A lot of people are just chilling. They go outside and they just have a few beers. Maybe they're dressed fantastically. the girls will wear like almost nothing sometimes or way too much sometimes it's like well you you're basically cosplaying at this point as some sort of leather woman um and then some chicks are like almost wearing nothing and then like dudes are wearing everything from like just fucking normal street clothes to like to I don't need to see that.

But as far as what goes on, Woody looks confused. Not wearing enough clothes for my liking. I'm thinking about what I'd wear at a BDSM club, right? I think you'd wear a leather jacket. You're probably right, but I feel like this outfit,

shorts and a t-shirt isn't trying. All black. You go all black. You don't dress up. You don't look mysterious. You don't have to. That's the thing. Unless you're going to one that's a serious, like an actual BDSM group, right? Like there's a club that's like, hey, come out.

It's our BDSM night. Then you maybe try. But you can just go to a club, a BDSM themed club. It's more like the ambiance and shit that people are fucking. I ain't going to no themed club. This is a BDSM club, alright? They've got like crosses to mount people on and shit. Yeah, well, I know, I know, but they still have that. The one that I'm thinking of

is put on by Leather Club and it's just like, they throw Techno Night and then they have like a rack over there that if you want to, you can go get yourself strapped up and slapped around. That transition is the part that that i i dick masterson woody something about the human condition you don't understand go well here i am like how do you walk in there with the t-shirt shorts and vans on and find yourself on the bdsm cross i'll tell you some lady just say you look

like you go on yeah yeah literally like like there are a lot of chicks at those things who like spanking dudes or spanking girls and uh and like you can just kind of stand over there where the spanking is happening and you could just sort of ask the spanker like hey i would love to get on that cross and for yeah have you have you just beat the fucking shit out of me do you think we could arrange something like that if not please tell me now i don't want to be i i would just like a good ass whooping tonight and and like she she'll either say yes or no at that point which is which is what i always say about dating and hitting on girls guys will be like what are

you talking about how did you get her to like do that like i'll talk about three ways or whatever and they're like how do you get a girl to do a three-way it's like have you ever asked a girl if she would do a three-way no all right well you're never going to have a three-way then if you don't start 100 of the shots you don't take exactly spaghetti on the wall boys okay spaghetti on the wall something's gonna stick something's gonna stick i ask every girl i date if she wants to have a three-way every single one and like 40 are okay with it dude i had a friend that we would go to the bar uh kind of local and um he would get drunk and he his way of hitting on women would he was he would like he would say we usually sit near the women's bathroom intentionally and he would say we usually sit near the women's bathroom intentionally. And he would usually say,

as the women walked out drunkenly, Hey girl, let me spit in that butthole. Now nine, I'd say nine, 99% of the time, not 95% of the time it would not work, but 5% of the time some girls would laugh because they're thinking who's going to fucking say that next to the girl's bathroom drunk as a skunk you know what i mean yeah so he's fucking asks just

yeah say whatever like uh if it works it works it doesn't it doesn't it's the boomhauer approach have you guys ever seen the episode of king of the hill where boomhauer teaches bobby how to hit on women i haven't seen bobby is bobby is blown away because you know boomhauer's always got hot women like all the time. He's like the playboy of the fucking Hank Hill show. Right. Of the alley or whatever. He's always got a beautiful woman like leaving his house in the morning.

And Bobby's like, how do you do it? I wish Taylor were here. And they go to the mall and he takes him to the mall. And he's like, I don't want to learn, man. And he's like, watch and learn, man. And he goes over there and every single woman within sight, he approaches

and hits on. And they're just turning him down, left and right, just left and right. No, no, get away from me. What are you talking? Ah, get out of here. And then the eighth one is like, oh, hey, how are you doing? He's like, don't give me your number, man. And then he just keeps going.

He doesn't stop because he got one. He's fishing. He's fucking fishing. And he's catching some and he's losing some. And Bobby's like, oh, oh, shit. Shock approach. Who fucking cares if eight women turn you down if the ninth one says yes? It took 10 minutes to hit on 10 women yeah okay i got all

day i got all day and people who live in a very small town would care people who live in a small town you've those people those breeders those fucking breeders i remember like i was i was at my local junkyard and i was talking to a guy i went to high school with and i was like hey man i really need a car to blow up this afternoon. Cause I'm about to get paid six figures to like blow up three cars and I need three fucking cars. Uh, and, uh, this afternoon. And he's like, Oh yeah, I can help you out, man. He's like, he's like, really? It's you don't mind paying for me. Like I'll pay you whatever you want. I was, I was like $5,000. If that's what it takes, I need three cars today. And he's like, Oh my God, you're making that much money. And I'm like $5,000 if that's what it takes. I need three cars today. And he's like, oh, my God, you're making that much money?

And I'm like, it's pretty cool, man. It's pretty cool. It's a good gig. And I'm like, what are you up to these days? He's like, well, my second oldest is in trouble. She bites the other kids. So I'm dealing with that. You know, she's a biter.

And my oldest popular in a few years my oldest is about to start playing t-ball though you know so i'll get to go to the t-ball games and uh and i'm just like oh good luck with all that because i'm gonna go blow up some fucking cars and and fuck some whores tonight and they'll do it again tomorrow like i don't get it man like i grew up in a small town and i refused or fucking refused to be one of those breeders who at 19 had two or three kids. Look, if you're going to do that, plenty of people will be happy. Look, Zach, I know. I know.

I'm thinking right now. Zach's got three or four fucking kids over there. That's why he's hot load Zach. He's like 22. He's got three kids or something. He's never missed. He's never missed. Zach. He's like 22. He's got three kids or something. He's never missed. He's never missed.

He fucking sniper scoped in on that cervix over there, just shooting hot loads. But more offense to you, my friend, but goddamn, that is not the life of me. I can explain it. Here, give me the floor for a minute. I was talking about

type 1, 2, and 3 fun on PKN, so most of you haven't heard this. Type 1 fun, it's the roller coaster. It's fun in the moment. It's a good time. You don't often look back on it that was like a emotionally enriching experience. It's just fun.

It's good for right now. I don't know if I'm breaking up. Type three fun's just not fun. That sucks, right? Type three fun's never good. Type two fun though, it kind of sucks in the moment, but when you look back, when you recount it, that time you had a flat tire in the rain and you changed it and whatever, you know, that time you got stuck here and you had to walk through the woods, it sucked then. But looking back, that's type two fun. That was like,

dude, that was pretty fucking badass after it ended and everything worked out. I enjoyed that. Raising kids is a lot of type two fun, you know, in the moment it's a diaper and it kind of blows or in the moment your kids bite and other people. And it's an awkward conversation with the teacher, but looking back at like this thing that you've done, you've raised a human and made them somewhat a member of society. And,

and like even the bite and other kids thing, which sucked at the moment, it's kind of fucking funny, right? You know, when you, when you recount it, it's kind of fucking funny, right? When you recount it. It's funny when they're 25 or whatever. Yeah.

When you bit old man Jenkins in the asshole. Yeah, but you can say that about anything, right? I can say that about prison. But if I go back, I wouldn't go to fucking prison. Prison might be type 2 fun. I don't know. Or is it 3? You tell us.

Prison is just never good. Prison is type 3 fun. I'm glad I went to prison because now it's stories. I told a girl last night, I'm like, she's like, oh, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I'm like, playing it off or whatever. I'm making a joke of it. I'm like, hey, I always wanted to learn how to make a shank. You know. It's good fucking stories. I tell stories for a

fucking living, so it's good fucking stories. But I would rather have not gone to fucking prison. Right? Prison might be type three fun some things just suck right some things are never gonna be good prison might be there i look look if if i could go back to the beginning and not go to prison at all or not get arrested at all like i would but i'm the prison thing is cool it's it's been fun for stories people like the prison stories i like having the prison stories i like like having the prison stories. Sometimes I'll just be pissing in the bathroom and I'll be like, I went to fucking prison.

I'm just thinking to myself because it's so absurd that I went to fucking prison. It's an experience. It's almost like how people, they'll travel and they'll get bumper stickers or whatever from different places or whatever.

You know what I mean? Postcards, whatever. Souvenirs. In a way, jail, prison, it's not, it sounds ridiculous, but it's not easy to get into. I mean, you know what I mean? No, I feel you right now. It's like those people who have the distances they've ran on the back of their car. Like, oh, I did a 5K and then I did a marathon, whatever a marathon is.

We've talked about this before, but I never remember. 26.2, I think. They'll have 26.2 back there or whatever. They'll have all the Ks they've ran, all the mile runs they've done. Wait, Tucker, did you know that from COD? No, I think I literally was thinking of that fucking sticker that you're talking about. like runs they've done wait tucker did you know that from cod no i think no i think i were i literally was thinking of that fucking sticker right that you're talking about it's i don't know how long it i'm now i'm looking it up is it 23.2 that's my guess i think it's 26 that is 26

but it's like it's like there's only a certain you know not everybody's been to fucking prison i think it is kind of cool that i went to prison i don don't hide it. When I meet new people, I'm like, yeah, I went to fucking prison. Can you believe it? They're like, nah, you didn't go to prison. I'm like, I did. You want to see my prison clothes? I kept them. I got two of theirs. I got a stand in the other room that says Talladega.

If that was true, he'd have showed us his prison clothes by now. They're lame. It's like gray sweatpants and Nike flip-flops. You wouldn't know they're prison clothes, but they're they're lame it's it's like gray sweatpants and nike flip-flops right like you wouldn't know they're prison clothes but they're my prison clothes that's what i wore in prison i wore nike flip-flops gray uh gray sweatpants and uh and fucking like gray t-shirts like i like the official sponsor of tennessee penitentiary wherever you talladega was kind of a the casual thing was kind of like a nice part of it because like the first week i had to wear like

prison uniform and it's like really scratchy green denim it's like like full green denim suit and it's like rubbing all over you it reminded me of my my jail clothes because in jail you've got a jumpsuit an orange jumpsuit with like nothing no underwear underneath it and it's just like they let me keep my underwear um because i like so it's kind of social engineered my way into keeping my underwear on the uh what do they call it like like when i was being intake maybe something intake yeah i was like it was so funny i was wearing my most embarrassing pair of underwear i have these uh yellow under I don't know where they are now, but I had this yellow pair of boxer briefs

that had like a picture of an elephant's face on the crotch. And then it had like an elephant snout that your dick went in. Like, and they're really funny. Like if you're showing a girl like for the first time or whatever, and you're like, you know, like you're getting naked with a girl and you're like what do you think of these i don't know what i don't know what elephants sound like but you know you make elephant noise and she's just like that's hilarious that's fucking hilarious but that ain't what you want to wear when you go to jail and so like i'm getting like not strip searched

but like i'm changing into like my jail clothes. And I tell the guy, I'm like, hey, man, he's like, yeah, underwear, shorts, like shirt, everything goes in the basket. Then you put on this stuff in the other basket. He's not looking or anything, but he's like sending me into like a little private little nook to do this shit. I'm like, hey, man, can I keep my underwear? I'm wearing the most embarrassing pair of underwear I've got. I'm like, it's literally an elephant's face on my crotch and my dick goes in the trunk. I said that to him and he just goes, damn, that's great, man. Where'd you get them? And I'm like, Amazon. I was like, I wouldn't have worn them today if I'd

known this was going to happen. He's like, just keep them on, man. Just keep them on, man. I don't need to see that shit. But yeah, I'm not happy that I went to prison. But at the same time, it is interesting to have that life experience. And there are some life experiences, like what he says, that are like, yeah, I did that. I'm glad that I have that experience.

But if we go back, I would change it. So it's a little bit of both. It's just it's this weird, like hybrid experience. It doesn't even have to be which I got fired once. Right. This is my second job, real job or something. And it was super rough on me. But in the end, I was better for it. You know, that job wasn't right for me.

And, you know, I understood consequences. It was better. I definitely have a better career in life because I got fired. So I would do it again, even though it really sucked at the time. There are all sorts of situations like that I found throughout, like, the past year, two years or whatever, where something bad will happen, but you either need to learn from it or you need to use your current situation to do something better. For instance, this is lame,

but I actually got banned off Twitter for the time being. I'm trying to get that back. I got banned off Twitter and I'm thinking, wow, man, I spent a lot of time on fucking Twitter because I have nothing to do now. Like I would do my YouTube video for the day and I'm like, wow, I have nothing to fucking do. You know, I spent a lot of time on Twitter. So I actually started, I'm a pretty messy person. I actually just like clean my whole fucking house. I'm like, I don't have Twitter to like distract me now. I can clean my whole fucking house. I don't have Twitter to distract me now. I can clean my whole fucking house.

I felt really accomplished after I did it, the type 2 thing, where did I like it at the time, cleaning? Not necessarily, but once you get into it, it's like, I'm almost done. I can finish it up. Yada, yada. Twitter's not appealing to me. I don't get it. I don't see why people want to...

I love it. I loved it. It's a constant stream of... I have TweetDeck up on my second monitor. It is literally a never-ending stream of memes, news, consciousness, shitty takes, pictures. Like, it's... I'll just glance over. It's not like I'm staring at it all day, right? My phone usage is pretty low.

But, like, if I'm in an uber yeah i'm on twitter right or or like reddit or something like that but when i have it on my second monitor i'll just see it refresh i'll look over like oh funny meme right it's just like quick dopamine hit it's too accessible for me it's very quick it's not like uh like facebook or whatever you get on it's like baby baby baby you know I went to church today. Baby. I just took it off my phone. I just took Twitter off my phone. I had it on there for the longest time. I don't post on Twitter, but I have an account, and

I lurk. And because of the people that I follow, it still shows me tweets from... Most people I follow are YouTubers or gun guys and shit like that from the old days. And so it thinks that I'm some sort of right wing extremist based on who I follow. And so like, I get all these tweets about like, from like right wing extremists and stuff.

And that ain't me. Like the other day, I was I was not super familiar with Twitter. But I got this like, and the way it works. Like basically what happened was I got this little pop-up and it was like, I don't know, something about the wall. Something about like the Texas governor was going to like spend some funds. $250 million down payment on the wall. Something about the wall, yeah. And like I just wanted the notification to go away. Like I was like, get off my fucking phone.

I don't care about the wall. Like I'm only on Twitter so I can DM people about this show. I was using Twitter to talk to Ice Poseidon and to talk to a couple other guys that I wanted to come on as guests. And what I wanted to do was the thing I do with WhatsApp when I get a message, I'll just hit seen or read or something like that that way the notification goes away and the people who sent it know that i read it right but that ain't a thing for twitter so i just hit retweet and i retweeted this guy's like fucking crazy right wing wall

opinion like we need to build a second wall between us and canada keep them dirty fucking canucks out dude no leaners, no Canucks. Strong America. Whatever sort of xenophobic bullshit he had tweeted out. I tweeted out to 190,000 people or whatever I have. I'm just like, oh shit.

Oh shit. Undo. How do I undo? There's no way to undo. It's been sent. It's been sent. You can delete it, but like you said, there's an archive. There's an archive. People screenshot. I guess I don't really care.

I didn't want people to be like, this is what you think? No, not really. I just really don't give a fuck if I'm being honest. Couldn't care less. Like the only political stuff I care about is like legal drugs and, and like stuff like that.

Like I care about things that affect me personally. I'm pretty selfish with my political views of these days. I saw that the, the, the entire news media is sucking Biden's dick. I guess he must have stood up to Putin or something, or at least that's how they're phrasing things. I don't know. I didn't hear about that. So he met with first the G7, and that went pretty well, so they say. And then he met with Putin.

And I'm just like, did anything happen, though? I don't understand. Putin only shows up late. And they dealt with that in a way that wasn't embarrassing for Biden. So he'd have to wait around for Putin to show up. And I'm like, does this shit matter at all? I don't get it. Why is this important?

Remember when Trump, at this point, his president, used to try to alpha everyone with his dumb fucking handshake? Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah it matter does it matter how mean he shakes someone's hand what really matters is uh it matters it doesn't matter for us because i feel like united states is kind of in the forefront of like i don't know world politics r Russia is always trying to jockey themselves into the position of being a superpower again. They've got the nukes, but they don't have anything else. They don't have the economics.

They got the oil or natural gas or whatever. Their economy is smaller than Italy's, and it's almost all petroleum. John McCain had this line. He's like, they act like they're a superpower, but they're really just a gas station. And so for

Putin, it's a big deal every time that this comes around because he gets to stand next to the President of the United States like we're equals now. It's like, oh yeah, the two superpowers, here we are. It's me and the eighth president whose hand I have shaken because I've been in power for that long

it's literally the fourth or fifth uh because he sounds great clinton bush bush twice though clinton bush um obama trump so four presidents but several and then now biden yeah yeah so he's he has uh done this thing since uh he's been president since Clinton was in office. And that's – I mean, I was a fucking child, right? Yeah. Like 25 years or something like that. He's been czar of Russia or whatever he calls himself. Czar.

Yeah. Has he had two titles? I'm not sure. Yeah. It's like he can't be president twice or can't be't be maybe one from prime minister to president or something like that yeah he let medvedev step in and be like some sort of token leader for a little while um some some maybe during bush's uh tenure i don't remember exactly but he's always been the guy in charge clearly and they talk about how much wealth he's accumulated behind the scenes he might be nobody knows how much money he actually has he's because he's not

gonna fucking tell you. Right. He might just be the richest person on the planet. And we just don't fucking know. That's fascinating to me. And I wonder how much of it he gets to keep. Right. Like he might be the richest person.

Much as he was. Because Russia's. Right. But like, let's say that he gets he loses his job in Russia under negative circumstances, like the people kind of overthrow him and toss him on his ass. Right. Not a, he's decided to leave,

but he's been kicked out. Let's say that happens. Are they also able to like seize his funds and undo a chunk of his wealth? Maybe. I don't know how it works. You would think that, that he has, he has taken,

um, what would be like state wealth and he has privatized it in some way yeah and it's gone it's just gone it's just like that south park meme and it's gone like like it's in some it's a it's in some swiss bank account it's in some maldives bank account it's in some islands some ways i doubt it's in rubles as well like like you know it's been moved away I doubt it's in rubles as well. It's been moved away. I don't understand why people like that keep going.

Back when Bush gave Saddam the ultimatum, and he was like, look, you can leave, take your whole family. I don't remember what the number was, the cash that he would allow him to take, but it was at least a billion. It may have been more. He was like, take a billion dollars, take your whole fucking family, get out. You're done. And Saddam was like, I think I'll fight the U.S. military instead.

That seems like the best idea. I'll become a billionaire who lives in Jordan or with my whole family intact or fight the U.S. military. And he went with option B for some reason. That sucks for everyone involved we've had thousands of deaths we spent trillions of dollars uh saddam's dead i bet he doesn't like

that uh probably not so that he should have taken the deal all of his kids are dead well not all of his kids but you know his sons are dead uday and kusei we got to see them uh fucking blown the fuck up on uday and kusei that was it got to see them fucking blown the fuck up on Uday and Kusei. That was it. I'm sure you're right. I remember they had silly names. I remember there's the episode of The Office where Dwight becomes the manager for a day or something

like that. His desk is a replica of Uday Hussain's desk. It's this big marble monstrosity that exudes power. Yeah, it made no sense. If I'm Vladimir Putin

and I've got an ungodly amount of money, he could live the most lavish lifestyle that he can imagine and still live out and never run out of money. I'm guessing he's 58 or something like that. Yeah, he's 50, 60, something like that. Yeah, let's say he's got another 30 years left.

He's 68. 68. He looks good. 68. He has seven years left. He's got 30 years left. There you go. Yeah.

This site is going gonna say 70 these sites are so unreliable but it's you know what it's a good place it doesn't matter even if you're double right even if you only only has 35 billion dollars right like even if it's only two billion yeah this this dude is untouchable like this guy is untouchable. Like, this guy is untouchable. He might be the single most dangerous person to, like, piss off, I think. Like, because he, it's just, I feel like he just completely plays by a different rule set. It's just fucking poison you. Kim Jong-un? What is he going to?

No, but I mean, like, Kim Jong-un's not going to send some, can't send somebody to fucking to the u.s to kill me because he can't even feed his own you know population it's a putin could putin definitely could yeah yeah yeah i saw that i don't know if it was abc or cbs they asked vladimir putin in an interview like what are you afraid of in regards to him him jailing his opponents what are you so afraid of and i'm thinking like i know what you should be afraid of you should be afraid of what he's going to do to you reporters die for questions like that yeah yeah i i would i i i would be afraid to ask vladimir putin a question like that because he might just kill you because he's killed so many people already like he kills people he's like he's like something from game of thrones right he's like a leader from game of thrones he's like oh you never know what's going to tick him off right and you know if you

actually hurt his feelings he would just have you killed yeah yep off with your head scenario old school old school style fucking jab you with a polonium umbrella or some shit and you'll die like with your insides melting and your bones going hollow. I think you need to smoke some more weed, Woody. I just don't see you smoking nearly enough weed. You're making far too much sense. Your takes are too close. I was going to say your eyes are opening back up.

Time to hear it again. I was thinking the same thing. If you insist. I had a thing but i forgot it i literally had a thing all week that i that i was planning and i forgot it my trip has been amazing man i am so digging it we're in colorado obviously right now dude the one thing uh i hate to look at it through this lens but the transition from red state to blue state couldn't have been more extreme. I was in Oklahoma

and I'm like a straight up sissy in Oklahoma world. These guys are literally cowboys. They're wearing cowboy hats, not ironically. Slipknot's 450. Yeah, yeah. Trucknuts everywhere. The motorcycle mechanic lent us his farm truck filled with dirt in the

back to get around while he worked on the bikes which was pretty cool but i still felt like a fish out of water you know i i walk in the restaurant with like i don't know like a ferry or something i does not like them it's not the same kind of swagger that these guys all have they're all just a little slower a a little certain. I'm not sure. I don't know. I'm ordering from the menu in rapid paced sentences and I just don't belong in Oklahoma.

I kind of had a certain respect for it. Then I go to Colorado and my God, I am hating these liberal fancy pants. Suddenly. What are you going to say?

I thought it was something else. You're just tagging on us. God damn. Oh, no. I switched from asshole to fancy pants. I thought it was a good word. I thought it was never on my head. I thought you had fat in the chamber.

That was never one of the rounds. So anyway, yeah, these liberal fancy pants here in Colorado are making me crazy. they're wearing their tie-dyed shoes they're fucking like mandals i guess not that i have any mandals i know foresters it's yeah supers that's like a real thing um you know i don't know there was a guy at the restaurant he might have been high or something because he kept going like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah la la, yeah, yeah, la, la, la, la, la, la. And I'm just, you're annoying as fuck. There are other people here and I hate you. I hate you.

What if he had Tourette's? What if you're – I don't know if Colorado people – He would do it. His girlfriend would laugh. And I'm like, that is not a good joke. That is a child's burbling, learning to speak, you fucking moron. And so, yeah, I don't know.

I don't fit in either of these states. But it was interesting to go from the most beta guy in Oklahoma to the most alpha guy in Colorado. Woody and I both, I feel like, are not accurate representations of North Carolina. I feel like we're more of the more proper North Carolinians or whatever. But Oklahoma, if you go to more rural sections of NC or Georgia, in Kyle's case, maybe even California, maybe more rural California, you'll find cowboy hat wear. Yeah.

Dude, anywhere that is more than – like San Bernardino might be one of the, like it's on the, it's an hour and a half with traffic. So about 40 miles away from downtown LA. And at that point, anything further is, is as it's like Trevor in GTA,

like the most, literally the most racist, like homophobic fucking it's, it's crazy. It's's it's might as well be kentucky i'm in rural i'm in rural nc you know i'm about an hour away from charlotte north carolina you know like one of the biggest cities uh yeah okay cool yeah uh and and like i don't know i don't think i would fit in in oklahoma and i can look quite so i just don't have that i like what he said swagger or whatever it's not american enough not american right like that's the heartland of

the country exactly man i don't have a fucking has displayed his blue pride flag so often it's faded to purple now it's a new meaning you talking about the guy uh that could have had Tourette's actually a funny story this reminded me of I haven't thought about this in years um me and some friends want to go see Anchorman 2 way back in the day when that was new and out or whatever and the theater was packed so uh of course movie etiquette during comedies is like everybody can fucking laugh as loud as you want you know there's no big deal there so we're watching anchorman 2 everybody's laughing having a good time but there's one guy who is laughing like he's like laughing like two seconds later after

everyone else there's the whole theater is erupting in laughter and you'd hear it quiet down you hear like that fucking time and it was kind of in the distance uh me and my friends had to sit kind of stat it was so packed we had to sit kind of like two to a seat two to a seat two to a seat you know and um one of my friends who has a pretty short fuse or whatever is sitting in the back and i could tell from the way the acoustics are that he's right next to this guy. The guy that's laughing is right behind him. I keep looking back occasionally, not only to look at the guy,

but to look how pissed my friend's getting. He's red in the face by the fucking shark scene. He's fucking gripping the sides of his chair or whatever. Red in the fucking face. The movie ends, i i i look back and my friend i'm like he's gonna fucking say something he's gonna say something to this guy who's been

fucking laughing like an asshole all movie and my friend like is red in the face gets up turns around is about to say something swear to god this is a true story um he turns around to say something and the guy that was laughing was like a special needs guy in a wheelchair so then his friend kicked his ass he didn't say that's what he knew he didn't say it only in one way he he turns around he's like dumps him out of the chair oh yeah okay but uh i thought that was fucking hilarious. It sounded facetious. It sounded like he was doing it to be a dick.

Because it was like two seconds later. But no, he was just processing things a bit slower. Was it Mitch McConnell? No, no, no. Who was the Republican the other day who said retarded? And they were going after him. And he was literally saying it in the nicest way possible. He was talking about literally getting a school in place for retarded children,

something he had worked on legislative-wise to put in a school for retarded children in some neighborhood or some shit. And they were like, Mitch McCarver, whoever it was, says the R slur. And I'm just like, come on. I grew up during the heart of calling people retarded. I was in high school in 2001, 2, 3, and 4. I never saw.

The meanest people I knew never called a retarded person retarded. We never did. No. No. We never called retarded people. Yeah. It's like calling someone. I mean, I equate it to an extreme version of calling someone stupid or something. Or like, don't be a dumbass.

I feel like you guys are going to age into that. Like, you know, back in my day, we said the N-bomb. That's how we referred to people of color. We called them the N-bomb. I never meant any harm by it. It's okay, according to me yeah well see the i think the line is drawn when you are using that slur to disparage people that that slur was originally used to disparage like if i go up to a retarded person and i say what are you doing you fucking fucking retard. That's bad.

But if I'm like with my friends and he, he, I don't know, like walks into a sliding glass door because he thinks it's open. I'm like, don't be a retard. Don't do that again. You know what I mean? There's a, there's kind of a difference between it's contextual. You know, I think context matters a lot with that. People were freaking out about the Hunter Biden text or whatever.

What did he write? that people were freaking out about the hunter biden text or whatever what did he write uh he he caught i can't really do him justice but he's like a 50 or 60 year old man and he's casually throwing around the n-bomb soft day um but he he's he's just speaking like a soundcloud rapper it's not that bad it's just the fact that he's oh chuck schumer yeah it was chuck schumer that's who it was i just i just googled it was chuck schumer he was he said retarded and he said it like like he was doing some sort of like video conference kind of like we're doing here and he was just like he was talking about like having a school put in for retarded children and like nobody gave him the memo not to say that on like a public thing i guess you would think he'd know

but but he's and then like whoever he was like on the show with was just like yeah yeah that's great that's great that you got those tards this nice little school right that's wonderful what's going on with that matt gates guy is he is he locked up for like sex trafficking or something. So, dude, all right. I follow Matt Gates a ton and my heart goes out to the pedophile. Here's why. He and

his, I guess the feds were investigating his partner in crime. This guy went into office and immediately started handing out favors and doing all sorts of scummy shit. Monetizing it, taking advantage of it, expensing shit he shouldn't have, etc. Well, he and Matt Gaetz are good friends.

One of the things his buddy would do is arrange prostitutes. Sometimes, I don't even know if they were always prostitutes. They might just be college girls who were willing to fuck for a trip to the Caribbean or something this weekend. Full circle. We had this combo.

What happened was one of the girls was under 18. FYI, in Florida, you can't consent when you're 17. In North Carolina, 16 or 17s can fuck 30-year-olds if they want to. New Jersey, too. In Florida, there's these Romeo and Juliet laws, but they have to be within four years, all the way up through 18. I think that's right. But I'm positive that under 18 can't fuck a 30-year-old like Matt Gaetz. Well, this chick was 17.

All her friends were 19. All her friends were in college. And she told him that she was 19. And they thought she was 19 but she was 17 and apparently he fucked her and paid her and uh now they're looking gotta check the id you know it's a rookie mistake for matt gates it's gonna cost him yeah gotta check the id i like how you're talking about this like a sports analyst, like looking at a play. Yeah. Yeah.

Real tough on forced blunder here. Let's see if it pays off. But yeah, it's shitty. You know, growing up in the South, like Kyle was talking about the marriage thing. One thing that i grew up with was like women lying about their age a lot uh women that were like under 18 lying about their age consistently thankfully it is more lenient here as far like in regards to that or whatever but even if i found out a girl was lying about her age at all i'm thinking what else is she lying about you know and i would just like how old is he he's 39 i'm sorry if you conceptually like i'm thinking what else is she lying about you know and i would just like how old is he he's

39 i'm sorry if you conceptually like i'm gonna laugh because kyle's not here but i know he'd be on the exact opposite of this but like if if you can't drink like you're a child like like in my head like i can't even look at if you if i'm on tinder or if i like when i was using dating apps and stuff, somebody complained to me about their homework, and I was just unmatched. I was like, don't talk to me. I can't go through this again.

I don't want to hear about your tough day at school. I need somebody who's paying taxes. So the fact that it's just wild to me that you – I mean, Matt Gates is only 39, but there are people out here who it's like – like Paul Walker was 43 and was dating a 17-year-old. Yeah, it's like... Jerry Seinfeld did that too, right?

At a certain point, it's just kind of... It's gross, man. I don't know. To me, it's so crazy. 17 is too young. 17 is too young. If you can't send me nudes legally, it's too young.

That's literally what I'm thinking in my head. I'm like, no, you can't send nudes legally without it being a federal case. In North Carolina, they can have sex with you, but they can't send you nudes. Same here.

I think I can fuck 16-year-olds here. In North Carolina, you can have sex with you, but they can't send you nudes. Same here. I think I can fuck 16-year-olds here. I mean, not that I would. In North Carolina, you can. In Jersey, yeah. Ah, well, keep that in mind. I'm not saying you would, but keep that in mind. No, of course not. You just need to know these things, right?

I mean, it's like a speed limit. I'm not necessarily going to go 80 miles an hour in Texas when I'm traveling, but it's nice to know I can. I wouldn't. I personally probably will. I personally wouldn't even sleep with a girl under 21. It's like if they can't drink like Tucker said, I can't. I can't do it. Y'all crazy. I'm sorry. Come on now. I can't do it.

What are you afraid? You're going to ruin her life or something? No, no, I don't. I just don't want to. I can't relate to that person on any level. You need to adopt the Kyle and Woody strategy of letting whatever local state government decide who you should date. What happens is that your local politicians know

what he's ready for. And at what age she's ready for it. Oh my god. That's good. 18 is the limit. Definitely don't want to like fuck with somebody who like can't send you nude pictures without it being a fucking thing like like you don't even want to

like be borderline with that but um but i think 18 or 18 to 19 is fine like i you know people mature at different ages i i know some fucking 25 year old dudes that are fucking children that are fucking children and shouldn't be allowed to have sharp objects. They shouldn't be fucking children. They're fucking childish. At the same time, I know a 21-year-old girl who's got her shit together, right? She's got her shit together.

It's on a case-by-case basis for me anyway, like, like I've, I've known some girls who were like adults, like, like 30 years old. And it's just like, dude, you don't have your shit together at all. Like, like you are a fucking hot mess lately. I can't be dealing. You're too fucking stressful to even be around. You're so fucking childish.

Yeah. That's what it comes down to but this is what when zach just posted fergie was 23 and dated justin timberlake who was 16 at the time that's whoa like that is like 16 the difference between a 16 year old and a 23 year old usually is such a wide developmental gap that i'm like all right fergie like i didn't get after it i didn't know that. I mean, she was doing a lot of crystal meth, too.

She's not known for her decision making. Didn't know that either. Fergalicious. Hilary Duff and Joel Madden. This is fun. Let's see. Who do we dated? Hilary Duff. 16, back in 2004. Joel Madden and hillary duff did the

familiar dance of being just friends until her 18th birthday in 2006 when asked about whether she was intimate with madden or not in a 2015 interview with cosmo duff stated i had a 26 year old boyfriend so everyone can make their own assumptions about what I was doing. Well, yeah, if you date a 26-year-old, he wants to fuck. You know... If you date a... If you date a fuck... Five-year-old cunt? Is that what I'm...

I mean, five-year-old me wanted to fuck. I was just like... You better be careful. Somebody will kidnap you, and they'll make you have sex. And I was like, hope it's a hot chick. You know, I actually lost my virginity in high school. I was 16. I had sex with a girl who was a senior, 17.

And what made it all really awkward was the fact that she had a fiance that she cheated on. And he was like 26 outside of school. So the parents knew, uh, yeah. See the pet, like it's not just boyfriend, but like fiance,

small town shit right there. Small town shit. Weird, weird shit. Yeah. Um, I don't know. Very strange.

Uh, also hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. That's been like 15 years now, but whatever. Leaking. Yeah. Some 50-year-old guy is going to show up at my doorstep with a gun or something. I didn't use names, though, so we're safe.

We should be at least. You're still muted. I was going to say, just don't open the door. That's hassle doctrine. Oh, on Father's Day? I like that. Hassle doctrine. Every Father's Day, I shut off my lights in the house

and I lock the doors, pull the curtains. No one's here. No one's here. Just in case. Just in case. You never know. Oh, that'd be rough. That'd be rough to find out that I was a father

randomly. It'd be hilarious if two people showed up at the same time. You too. I'd be like, I sent you the $500. What did you do with it? See, that's an abortion joke. Oh, I didn't get it. I got it.

I thought it was a child support joke. I thought it was a child support joke too. it. I got it. I thought it was a child support joke. I thought it was a child support joke too. Yeah, and then I got it. Slowly after. Good stuff, good stuff. Sad. That's as real as it gets, folks. Woody, how are you feeling, by the way?

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. You look more relaxed than usual, I will say. You look very... You look like you're about to listen to Snoop Dogg and, you know, pop your feet up on the...

Rolling down the street, smoking a window, sipping on gin and juice. It's great. It's juice. It's great. It's great. It's great. You're going to have some good fan edits. Smokey everyday fan edits coming out. This whole episode is going to be clipped.

It's going to be clipped and taken out of context by everything we've said today. So it's fine. It's easy to do. It's easy to do. Just got to roll with it. Just got to figure that's going to happen. Yep. God, I don't want to smoke weed so fucking much.

You can only get canceled if you agree to being canceled. That's what Donald Trump taught us. Just next week, heroin, and they won't be talking about the pile. Next week, heroin. You're right. The classic. Double down. You're right. The classic double down. Just double down week after week.

I don't know what I'm going to do after heroin. Morphine, maybe? I don't know. Crocodile? Crocodile, yeah. Angel dust. You know those time-lapse videos where they put food and watch it mold? Do that, but with your arm in crocodile?

Time-lapse like we talked about it last week i think i was i was like i'd probably do heroin you know like i don't know if we talked on the show but maybe privately even lately i was like yeah i'd probably try heroin like if it was legal like like because there's that um there's that bill that just got dropped recently proposing to decriminalize most major drugs good luck yeah i know right they can't even get they can't even do marijuana yeah you can't get the banking straight for marijuana on a federal level so yeah who knows um but i was just like yeah i'd probably try heroin like like why not like just a little heroin just a little bit just a spoon a little bit a sample a sample size yeah yeah yeah. A flight of heroines.

Of heroines. I've read how the different drugs make you feel and heroin is the one that's most appealing. Just unstoppable happiness and contentness. Just whatever's going on, this is a thing of beauty.

It will ruin your life like what I really want is like I want to try the heroin but I don't want to know where to get more does that make sense like the problem with like alcohol and marijuana in most places

I mean my whole problem the whole reason I got in trouble was because it was that I didn't know where to get more marijuana right like my drug these my right like if i'd know where to get more i wouldn't have had a problem i had to like have a friend send it from out of state and that caused the whole kerfuffle but uh my drug dealer got locked up and then my second drug dealer also got locked up and then it was just like fuck where do i get and then like my third drug dealer was like friends with an ex-girlfriend so it was weird to like call an ex-girlfriend hey you got dave's number still like i don't want to call her and ask for dave's number and then i gotta drive into the city so it was a whole thing it was easy and i was just complaining to like a girl i knew and she was like i'll send you weed

and i was like oh deal what could go wrong but you know if i just know where to get some weed, it wouldn't have been a problem. Same thing with heroin. I want to do some heroin, but not have any idea where to get more. Because if I do the heroin, I'm just like, that was amazing. You know what I'd love to do now?

A little more heroin. It's a sizable stopgap, right? Because you're right. If somebody was like go get heroin my best guess would be like walk down skid row and just be like does anyone have some heroin i can buy and i don't know if that's gonna be super you like i don't know if that's gonna work as well as i think it would yeah but so so you're right you know maybe it is a safe stop gap safe enough yeah yeah i have no idea where to get heroin.

I could get weed super easy. Yeah. I was going to say, do you know how to get weed now? Man, everywhere I go, they're smoking it. Like if I just go for like a nice little leisurely walk in my like my neighborhood, like there's like this like mile and a half like loop that I go on sometimes in the neighborhood and just I'm waving to all my neighbors and like I'll smell weed at least once through that walk like at least one of my neighbors is smoking weed in their yard in broad fucking daylight like I don't know I know all the

neighbors who smoke weed because I've seen them do it in their fucking yards and if if that if that didn't work I just start going to gas stations and sniffing for it. I smelled it today, like I said. I could totally be like, hey man, smoking a little weed over there? Can I hit some? Can you tell me where to get some? If I wanted to smoke weed at home, I don't have any way to

get it. I don't have any idea. I could either ask subs, but that's sketchy because some of them hate me. I could go to a local college campus and just grab my skateboard and hello, fellow kid. But I don't know if that's going to work out either. What I would actually do is just use Delta instead because I can buy. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just a little too easy. I mean, not even it's like literally I could get it delivered. I could walk across the street i could do it like and they take card you can i can pay with card for delivery weed in app purchases it's like at that point it's like well okay there is no limit like and they'll deliver it at like four in the morning that's amazing oh it's wonderful so so much luxury like it was it was because that was like the nightmare, right? To run out of weed.

And then have no way to get more. Imagine that. I can't tell you the horror. It really is fucked. When you like to smoke and you smoke a lot and your friends like to smoke with you and you're just out and they're out. I'd have two or three friends that I spoke in code to.

I won't go into the code at this point. I don't want to get anybody in trouble, but we had code. So I'd be like, hey, do you have any blah, blah, blah? But blah, blah, blah sounded nothing like weed. And they'd be like, nope, I'm fresh out of apricots or whatever I was calling weed. Do you know where I get some tangerines maybe? Or some, some, some, some Naples, some navel oranges or anything like, you know, nope, nope. No citrus to be had. Fuck. All right. I really need some vitamin C over here, man. I don't want to get scurvy,

you know, it's been a day. And, and, and, and, but that's how it was for a while. It was one point where I had lots of friends who just had it, who just had it or knew where to get it. And then like, it seemed like there was some like broad sweeping fucking thing in my area where like all my contacts got locked up. Like within like a three month period, like they were all getting arrested. I should have taken that as a sign.

Right. I was gonna be like, it seems like everybody's getting arrested. I should have taken that as a sign. I should have been like, seems like everybody's getting arrested. I should order mail. Maybe I should pack my bags and go to Colorado. I should just pack my bags and go to Colorado.

There's no reason I couldn't do that. Just go. How many more days? It must be 101? 108 or something. I feel like it was 108 last show. I feel like it was 108 a year ago. You know, it's fucking ticked down so slowly. 106 days, 5 hours, 57 minutes, and 45 seconds.

Maybe it was 108 on PKN. Yeah, yeah. But I'm pretty excited. Me and the boys are going to have a great time in Colorado. And I might never come back. Honestly, I'm pretty excited. Me and the boys are going to have a great time in Colorado, and I might never come back. Honestly, I probably wouldn't. I'm not going to smoke in a state where it's not legal again. That's for damn sure.

Yeah. No more trouble for me. Not only legality, but it's not as safe. The last time I had any experience with marijuana was a really bad one. We got these homemade edibles someone brought over, but the person that brought them didn't make them.

Whenever she handed them out to everybody, it was a bad time. A buddy of mine started having a fucking... He was sweating. The best way I can put it is my teeth itched. started having like a fucking, he was like sweating. And the best way I can put it is my teeth itched. I don't know what the fuck was in them. Meth or something.

I don't fucking know, but it was not good. It did not, it wasn't a sensation I've ever felt before. And I don't want to feel it again. So I haven't really messed around. That's the other thing I want to get back into. Like I used to cook a lot of edibles. I'm really good at it.

Like I've got a whole process. It's really in-depth. It takes several hours. I make really, really fucking good edibles that taste good and are strong as fuck. Nice. But I've had edibles from other people before that just ruined my night. Yeah. That just ruined my whole fucking night.

I'm convinced that you know i don't really like eating edibles at all because it seems to me like it is always a kind of a grab bag even though they say five milligram or three milligram or ten like some days i'll just take you know like 20 milligrams and i will be fine or other days like i'll be on my ass drooling after 10 and it's like i don't really i don't like that level of yeah this is dispensary level like yeah like professional made like you know professionally that's what i'm looking for it tastes great uh like there's a company called can c-a-n-n um it's it's uh five milligram thc three milligram uh cbd in a seltzer kind of thing, whatever. Obviously, it doesn't taste like weed.

It just tastes like a sparkling water. But that's something that a lot of people who don't even like to smoke will drink because it's just enough if you have one or two to feel something, but you're not going too crazy. But other types of edibles, it just feels like way too much of a grab bag. I'll be fucked up or whatever yeah it's been like like um when we would go on our colorado trips like um there'd be a there'd be two or three of us sometimes and like i'd usually bring my girlfriend and uh and so everybody would be like catching different flights home and i would always make

sure that my flight was the last flight home because I get all the leftover drugs. That's hilarious. So like Chiz has already caught his like train or his bus back home and Taylor's already flown out. His coach, the Pony Express has already left out of the station and and like Taylor's already flown out and whoever else. And now it's just me and my girlfriend where it's time for us to like drive to the airport and all of the drugs are like we've cleaned the whole like rental house up but all the drugs are right there in the center of the table and i'm just like gotta do all these drugs before we leave baby i was like you know do all these

drugs there's no way we leave drugs behind and i don't know how I feel about moving drugs back home. Well, yeah, there's edibles. We can move those back home. Just put them in a box of candies. They'll be fine. Yeah, I do that all the time. If you just go buy a box of like junior mints and like take edible junior mints and pour out like half the junior mints and pour in the edible junior mints and then top it off with regular junior mints and then wax the box clothes and throw in your luggage now you got a

box of weed junior mints nobody's actually genius yeah i like that i it went it went far more in depth than that i was having to buy a lot of different store-bought candies to match the edible candies that i had i brought so many edibles back one time but but but all the other stuff it was like we we got to smoke or eat all this stuff that we can't bring home with us. And so I'd get high as fuck. The airport in Colorado has this

park and sit area where you can just chill. And I almost feel like it's set up for this. So we'd park there and I would just smoke everything. I would just smoke.... I would just smoke like it's just one. I had one of those cheap bowls and I would just smoke bowl after bowl after bowl. I'm like, I got to smoke it all.

I don't want to throw anything away, baby. We got to smoke it all. She's just being frugal. I can't smoke anymore. And I'm like, I got you. I got you. I'm sitting there smoking like a quarter ounce of weed in 20 minutes or something like that. And then there's all the edibles that I can't bring back.

Like I bought this bottle of pills once and it was like THC pills. And I was just like, fuck it. And I just like took them all. I don't even know how much it was. Like I took like 30 pills. They're supposed to be like five milligrams each. They didn't work and but then like all the chocolates that were like they like said thc on the chocolate like there was no way to like smuggle that shit so i'm just like

i eat all those and i'm sitting i'm going through airport security just like just drug dog walks by and i think it's a rhinoceros or some shit like just just so goddamn high out of my gourd getting on the airplane because you never know what those edibles are actually going to do to you because like yeah those like tic-tac thc pills did nothing but like the chocolates would just send me to the fucking moon like like my dose was about 75 milligrams something like that like like that's where I would be like comfortable and happy and not scary town. But, um, at a hundred or a hundred plus, like not so comfortable anymore. And then one night we ate some like homemade stuff and I went to another fucking planet.

It had to have been two or 300 or more milligrams. Like I vomited from being so high from weed. Jesus. That has never happened to me and i'm very thankful like that seems that is the that is a uh that is a tough situation to find yourself in when you have consumed too many edibles like i drank i thought it was a 35 milligram like drink before i got on a continental flight i guess guess I was going to like London or whatever. And I was like, I want to get on that plane and just be out. I don't want to wake up eight hours just drooling. Well, it worked, but it was 350 milligrams. So I'm standing there waiting to

board the plane. And like, you know, I just like, I can't think straight. I'm not paying attention. Like I'm like dozing off in here, slept the way but i was so uncomfortable and just to know like four more hours at least buddy like you're gonna be you're in it you can't do anything to get out it's not like coffee is gonna save you i had when the first time i ever had edibles my friend knew this woman who grew weed like outdoor hippie chick who grew weed out in a field and so like when she would like do her harvest she had the trimmings and for woody's benefit the trimmings are like not the bud part of weed that not the part you really want it's like the little like leaves and stems it's the trash you wouldn't smoke it but it does have thc in it and if you use it

for edibles if you use enough of it it still works you just need to use more of it and he gave me like a shoe box of them like a shoe box full of trimmings like several pounds and we cooked that down into like these fudge brownies and i've never been so high in my goddamn life that was such a fucking nightmare did it taste bad um sounds like leaves and twigs and shit it's not gonna taste good you know you're not actually you're you're you the thc is is taken out of those into oil and then that oil is used to make fudge brownies so you're not like eating twigs and and leaves and stuff but right but it'd have a bit of a funky taste but it was so strong with like the fudgy brownie shit that you didn't mind so much.

And I ate two slices because the first one didn't work right away, of course, because it's an edible. And we were just watching Trailer Park Boys. And all of a sudden, I was having extreme time dilation where big pieces of my existence were just scattered to the wind and then i'll be like oh i'm alive again i'm alive again where am i where am oh oh oh and we're going back in and like episodes were just like on and off it was like i was watching a uh like a like a like a i don't know a frame by frame type thing with with the trailer park boys and that's what i threw up and and because it was fudge brownie, I like threw,

it was like when Cartman like reverse shit out of his mouth, like when he's putting the food in his butt and shit. Like I like vomit this turd of fudge brownie into the, into the toilet. It was so fucking gross. But my metabolism was like much faster than my girlfriend's. So like I had pretty much gotten over it by the time we like finally went to bed that night and we're and she she was like i don't know i never felt anything i'm like

all right well lucky you because that was us that was traumatizing and and like two in the morning she just like bolts up in bed she's like and i'm just like what the fuck is wrong with you she's like where am i and i'm like you're at my house baby what's wrong she's like where do you live and i'm like i live in gum log she's like that's so far from where i live and she starts crying crying. And I'm just like, well, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. You know, you're going home. You can go home tomorrow or the next day or whenever you want. We can't go home now because I'm fucked up. And you're super fucked up.

But, you know, we'll get you home. Okay, okay. I'm so thirsty. I'm like, okay. I'll go get you a glass of water. I'll be right back. And she, like, grabs my arm with both hands. Don't leave me and i'm like all right well come with me we'll get the water i'm not going anywhere she's just like oh my god she was so fucking high and paranoid from the from those edibles that was a nightmare

scenario paranoia and paranoia and like the um the time i don't know what you call it like time diffraction dilation when you get really dilation, when you get really high. There was one time I was high at a party, and it was a small little gathering or whatever, and we're watching this movie. I'm pretty high, and I hear a car door slam or something. It was pretty loud. And I paused the movie.

I'm like, did you guys just hear that fucking car door? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, turn guys just hear that fucking corridor and they're like yeah I'm like turn off the lights like it's fucking cop it's gotta be like it's nobody because we live I mean I live in the rural south it's like midnight nobody slams a corridor at fucking midnight except the cop so I rush everybody into my bedroom turn off all the lights and we're just sitting there in the fucking car for 10 minutes like anthony it's not a cop i'm like just wait like wait just be sure just be sure another time i was high playing uh this card game and it's like 30 seconds per turn and i remember like it's it's my turn and i'm taking my time on the on the game and it seems like i've been taking my time for like three

minutes like three to five minutes and i'm like is my time gonna run out like what's going on am i hacking like what's going on it's very strange um but yeah i i really need to uh it sucks being in like i envy tucker because i would kill for fucking delivery weed of any sort so so gotta be a liberal with our gay weed and our high gas prices if the delivery man fucked me in the ass when he showed up I'd be like alright

I'm lubed up let's do this I'm ordering a whole ounce at a time what's the most I can get per time Andre is on the way with your order oh shit no What's the most I can get per time? Andre is on the way with your order. Oh, shit, no. Sid Tristan! Sid Tristan! Jamal ruined me last week.

I was going to get me started about Omar. That weed was not worth the fucking yeah i wish man it's it's fucking rough having to like black market some fucking weed i i'm getting out of the state as soon as possible it really is i have one buddy of mine who uh he he actually he was my like dealer before he moved to Washington, like Seattle, to work in the field. Because North Carolina does not a lot of jobs pertaining to weed. And I remember he came back to visit. And he brought back the best fucking weed from there. That it made all the weed around here seem like this complete dog shit.

It was legal, of course. Legally grown, specially grown. I can't remember what strain it was. It was fantastic. You could smell it through a plastic bag in my dresser. It was that potent. Very potent. Yeah.

Now I'm just in being... It's the kind that gets you caught by your parents. Or by the feds. Or by the feds. They can be walking by outside, smell it in the bag, in the dresser, unlit. That was the problem with my weed.

You could smell it through the bag and through the shipping bag and through the PO box in the parking lot. Like my weed arrived. I can smell it in there. Yeah. I'm looking forward to that, man. I'm so sick and tired of being sober all the time. It's just no fun. Life is pain, you know?

Life is pain. Life is pain. I just want to get a little fucked up. Not all the time. I mean, I've got to sleep. Most of the time. Just not all the time. I mean, I've got to sleep. Most of the time. Just like all the time I'm awake is when I want to be high. How do you get to sleep without indica?

A very real problem. You sleep so much better with weed, dude. You'll see tonight. You'll see tonight. Yeah. I don't know. I want to put weed against a BPAP machine and see who wins. They mix together.

Fish was talking about feeding fucking marijuana smoke into somebody's BPAP while they were asleep. That would work. Yeah. It would go so stale by the time it made its cycle.

It would be really rough that'd be awful also but like my bpap anyway the good one i have it's heated humidified pressurized and filtered so i don't know what i would get on the other end of all you need to get one of those volcanoes and just blow into the uh they uh they didn't take my volcano away apparently those are like okay because you get one of those volcanoes and just blow into the B-pad. They didn't take my volcano away. Apparently those are okay because you can smoke legal stuff out of them. What kind of psychopath would smoke tobacco out of a

volcano? I don't know. Like a huge three-foot thing? You're just ripping a whole cigarette in one breath? That's a whole new hipster vibe. I hate the Volcano, though. I'd much rather smoke a blunt or a joint or one of those tiny $4 glass bowls than a Volcano. And the Volcano is $500?

Yep. It just doesn't go for me. Yeah, I don't like it. Did you buy it or did you just know someone with it? I mean, I bought it, yeah. I don't know why i asked that you said you still had it yeah i made it you tried it i'm sorry it's a it's a cool gadget that's a high question it's yeah it's a cool gadget to get out like you've got people over

um and like oh you guys want to smoke do you well it's more of a yeah it's more of a uh like a how people have the big books on their coffee table and people ask conversation piece conversation piece yeah exactly yeah um i had a cheap vape one time um it was this like a little box with like a hose that ran out of it kind of like a hookah and you'd uh you put the weed in like a little cartridge and plug that into the machine and it plugged into the wall and but it was just super wasteful that was the other like downside of it um like like the amount of like minutes of you being stoned that you would get per ounce of weed was like really low compared to like a bowl or a bong what's the upside why would anyone like it it's really smooth it's really smooth and um it's uh that's it i? It's really smooth. It's really smooth.

That's it, I think. It's really smooth. Smoother than a vape? This thing kind of happens. I don't know. It's close. It's probably on par with the vape. It takes marijuana flower, just like what you would think of as marijuana, like the green stuff.

And it vaporizes it at the perfect temperature. You have a digital dial. So you set it for the exact temperature you want. And you can Google what temperature you want. And so it doesn't burn the weed. It decarbs it. So you get the TAP. It gives you the vape experience from flour. Yeah. And no smoke. It's not smoke. It's vapor. The whole point is that it's only heating it to the perfect amount. So it's not smoke it's vapor the whole point is that it's only heating it to the perfect amount so it's not lighting it on fire you're just heating it enough so it releases the THC and you fill this big fucking bag up

it's got like a big clear bag the bag is like this big and like really big and it fills that with the vapor and then you've got a nozzle so you can suck out of the bag.

I don't know. I didn't like anything about it. The nozzle would pinch my lips a couple times to the point where they bled, which was just obnoxious, incredibly painful. Probably because I was so high. Also, it just seemed wasteful with weed. I never had a great like steady

source of weed where it was like oh yeah let's go get more tomorrow it was always like hope they got some more yeah kids these days have it too easy it's a patreon question um would you rather the aliens that make first contact be robotic or organic? Organic. Yeah. Me too. Why did you guys choose it? Because the robotic aliens may have no respect for organic life forms.

They might – like an organic life form, while it might be way more advanced than us, at least we're like – we both share that, the fact that we're both organic and mortal whereas a robotic entity would be literally immortal and they would they might see us as like just are we are we saying are we set what if it's so what if it's uh organic material right like uh like a carbon-based uh life form great cool but like what what if it was tin-based or some shit like that? Oh, well, that's a little different. It's still organic. You could have a silicon-based life form. You mean like a straight-up robot?

We're talking about like a robot. Yeah, yeah. Like a Roomba. They're terrifying. The Roombas are taking over, man. I'm telling you. I don't know. Yeah, if it was an artificial intelligence,

or if it was formally organic aliens who had transferred their consciousness into a digital format, I feel like they have even less in common with us than some hyper-advanced green guys. People often theorize that like the little green men are going to show up and they're going to be look at us like we're ants or cattle or something like that. And that could absolutely happen. But there's plenty of humans

who don't just who think cattle should live, right? Who thinks we shouldn't eat cattle? You know, there's plenty of us who like, look at like, maybe they look at us like pets. There's plenty of us who like look at like maybe they look at us like pets. And that's better than looking at us like organic life form number three zero five seven are exterminate exterminate. Like you don't want to deal with Dydex. We look at rocks robots. It's a thing like if you guys seen 2001 A Space Odyssey movie. Yes. It's like the the A.I in that how 9,000 or whatever. There's no,

I feel like there's no way to effectively create like empathy through artificial intelligence, or at least we don't have the capacity to. So by with the robotic thing, it's like there's sociopaths essentially. There's no, I cannot allow you to do that dave yeah i don't know i i i mean i think if they have the ability to travel like through from one galaxy to the next i feel like they're that you know that's like incomprehensible text i think if they're capable of doing that who's to say they're not capable of like fixing that problem that is true i don't know if you could like i feel like that's something that

i'm being hippie here i feel like that's something that human yeah like it might be just be something with actual living organic life forms because i don't know i think you can like code in having something want to survive or having something want to help but you can't something want to survive or having something want to help but you can't code in the actual like life to life connection personally but it's it's tough to say because there could be something so advanced yeah like you said where it's they have that coded and they fix that problem but i just my knee-jerk reaction wasn't a great one. I was like, I think I want it to be organic because they're easier to kill, easier to fight. And also, they're not fighting us. We're losing. I know. I'm headed there.

I also thought like, oh, with organics, a lot of times they take a long time to be any use. Now, we're talking about aliens. I don't know anything about this. But on Earth, you know, big animals, they all take like I don't know, five to 15 years to be worth a damn. So that's why I wanted organic. But like Tucker said, if they visit us, then there's so much more advanced that we lose. We have to hope

for Kyle's theory. I like to imagine that they visit us, and they have no concept of aggression or war, and they're just total pacifist pussies with a ton of technology. And they just can't even grasp why we keep beating their asses and taking their iPads away from them. Every time they send... You can have the iPad.

Why are you kidding me? They keep sending... The fucking ramp keeps coming down. Eight of them come down. Greetings and salutations. And we just keep running up and just fucking coming down and eight of them come down like, greetings and salutations, and we just keep running up and just fucking knocking the shit out of them. Run your pockets, green man! Dude, it'd be like Black Friday

but with aliens. Get naked! Yeah. They show up in Detroit. They're making them get naked and do the cabbage patch. Should we do that I like those aliens let me pee first gotta pee so god damn bad alright

yeah see Kyle's drinking the zero Dr. Pepper or whatever and as I'm pulling the wings and doing the diet Pepsi it goes right through you sorry to talk about my bladder on stream, but Jesus Christ, it's rough out there. I haven't drank diet soda in a while,

and it's just oof. So, plain truth, are you doing more Twitch or YouTube lately? I pretty much quit Twitch. I might go back to do the watch party streams, the prime watch parties or whatever. Those are fun. I can't see myself streaming games.

The new Call of Duty sucks. And like, I've just streamed every other fucking thing. And I'm just like kind of burnout on streaming in general. So I'm just doing like the YouTube, you know, Call of Duty, YouTube grind and complaining about it.

And that seems to be working. So I'm just going to stick with, you know, call it a YouTube grind and complaining about it. And that seems to be working. So I'm just going to stick with that. did you like cod zombies? I thought that was good. Yeah. I like the zombies. It's obviously great, but like my channel is not about zombies,

so I can't, okay. I'm expected to play multiplayer and it's, it's so goddamn bad. Why is it bad? What makes it bad? Oh God. I,

I feel like I, every, every time I come on the show, there's a new cod i have to do this but it's it cold war cold war multiplayer is like it it's almost it goes back to that organic versus ai you know or robotic thing there's nothing like there's no soul to it there's no soul to the fucking multiplayer there's no incentive to play it everything in it we've seen before the game was made over fucking zoom you know yeah um it kind of got shit on too because um the like like they had to take over the project from from who was it

sledgehammer right so they didn't even get a full dev cycle. And then, to make matters worse, Warzone, in its own right, is just inherently the drawing for people here. And so it's on a different game engine. So it doesn't even feel familiar. And then you look at the next Call of Duty, and this one is the same fucking problem. It's like a COVID game, so it's going to suck too. It's going to be fucking awful.

Battlefield looks cool. Yeah, Battlefield looks amazing. And Streets of Tarkov looks awesome. gonna suck too it's gonna be fucking awful it's battlefield looks cool yeah battlefield looks battlefield and uh streets of tarkov looks awesome yeah okay on battlefield every battlefield trailer looks cool this one's the gameplay trailer though is that looks i'm not a battlefield guy there is no fucking way on god's green earth and you can you can quote this if i'm wrong and you clip it out or whatever and upload it for the rest of the fucking time there's fucking way on God's green earth, and you can quote this if I'm wrong and clip it out or whatever and upload it for the rest of the fucking time. There's no way on earth

Call of Duty churns out a game this year. I think Sledgehammer is doing it rushed. Apparently, it's in a really bad state, according to some insiders I follow. But there is no fucking way Call of Duty makes a better game than Battlefield this year. I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that, especially since it makes a better game than Battlefield this year. No fucking way.

I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that, especially since it's a non-zombies year. Like, zombies carries COD so hard for me these days. It does, yeah. It has so much replayability. I feel like they really fuck up with how slowly they release the content for that, though, because me and my friends played that first zombies map so much that I was, like, sick of zombies by the time the second zombies

Man same fucking deal and it's it's the covert thing like they the game kind of released I mean Cold War kind of released unfinished like what it is now is what we should have got a launch Yeah, honestly, you want to know my dark horse here? It's yeah that even though the call of Duty is not gonna be great Right like warzone will still be the pinnacle of BRs for the time being. Battlefield will still do well in its own right, but the real

winner here is Halo for going free to play with multiplayer. Halo already has everything that you'd ever want in, remember, Forge, all this shit, but it's going to be fucking free. That is a sleeper. That honestly might do both yeah it doesn't do it for me i swear to god i watched that halo trailer and i was like i don't

think this game is made for me yeah like like there's a there's a big black woman who's like leading the squad and she's like she she's like come on spartans let's do it and i'm just like i don't know i i don't know that they would make you a Spartan. I feel like they really picked the pinnacle of humanity to be a Spartan. I had a problem as a black dude, but maybe not you, ma'am. You look like you're 15 pounds overweight. And they pick her to be a Spartan for some reason. She's like the Sarge or some shit, like hyping me up. And then the next trailer I watched, there's an Asian man who's getting me hyped up up for for halo and i'm just like isn't this about a white dude and a blue

with a blue chick in his head like fighting aliens like like i don't i don't know master chief's face we know that dude's quiet i'm pretty sure they showed him like like like like young master chief and like one of the uh one of the one of the one of the games games when he was a boy. It's a white dude. It's a white dude. His name's John. I want to go back. I would be fine if he's black. I got no problem if he's black. Coltrane was my favorite fucking character in Gears. I had no problem with that.

But when they started introducing a bunch of women into Gears, I was just like, bullshit. Bullshit. No fucking way. No fucking way. In my defense, or in the in the women adding women defense they are way smaller targets than the fucking roided up dudes you say they're roided up there are no humans ever who look like the gears of war dudes scott do you mean steiner you've never seen peak Arnold?

He's not even nearly big enough. He's halfway as wide as the Gears dudes. Ronnie Coleman. Every Gears character looks like Ronnie Coleman. Who's the fucking guy from WWE who fights MMA occasionally when they pay him enough? Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar. It looks like Ronnie Coleman fucked Brock Lesnar.

Ronnie Coleman. Holy shit right. Brock Lesnar. Ronnie Coleman. Holy shit, this guy is so good. Let's see. Do you think Ronnie Coleman can do what the Gears dudes do, like run and dive? I think he actually could. He's a superman. Come on, Woody. He's a superman. I don't know.

What's his squat? His squat is like 1,200 pounds or something. Yeah, but I think you put the post-it on the guy's back and he can't reach it. Do you really think he's that athletic, that bulky? I've never seen a gear soldier reach his back. Zach just linked Lex Luger, but Lex Luger's not even as big as the fucking Gears guys. They're fucking enormous. Their arms are huge.

They have women because they're like half the fucking target of the men i guess that's not why they have them though because they we could have some put some fem boys in there and i'll be on board maybe like how big were the women in gears very tiny they're the same size they're like normal women yeah oh they didn't go like hyper masculine strong with no they're lats for the girls too. They're just kind of skinny you know in shape. The hot chicks. Yeah. Talking about Halo though I don't want to go back and play the fucking

games now. I got the I think the Master Chief Collection on Steam so. That game that fucking shit was so broken and still like you can't do all the things you should be able to do from the game that launched like years ago but it's just like okay. The best game I've played in the last

two or three years has been Doom. Doom is so good. The Doom series doesn't throw a bunch of bullshit in there. It's not trying to be all inclusive. It's like no, I'm the fucking Doom Slayer. I went to hell. I came back and now hell's like, no, I'm the fucking Doom Slayer. I went to hell.

I came back and now hell is afraid of me because I'm so fucking hardcore that hell is afraid of me. They're telling stories about me in hell because I'm so fucking scary. Deal with it. I live on a floating demon island in space. That's my base. I don't know if it's the trailer or the opening

sequence to Doom, but it is the best in video game history. It's so good. I don't know if it's the trailer or the opening sequence to Doom, but it is the best in video game history. So good. It's a top three. I'm super into some of the Halo commercials that they made and the Gears commercials too. Gears 1 through 3 had incredible trailers.

They got better as they went. And Halo, the Believe trailers when they had the diorama and stuff, and they'd have the old soldiers talking about what the war was like, that Master Chief was in. It was like, I was a warthog driver. I used this gun. We always knew that we were outgunned and outmanned.

But the Chief was there, so there was a chance. And I'm watching it, and I'm like 25 or whatever, and I'm just like, yeah, as long as the chief's there, we got a chance. And then it would end with believe. And I'm like, I do believe. I believe I'm

going to be in line at midnight buying this fucking $80 game. I wish I could remember the verbiage but they're like you know all hope is lost this segment's gone down you see what i guess is earth on fire with the hell taking over and uh and then here comes us maybe we rack the shotgun oh yeah yeah you're right about that because it's like you you can hear like radio transmissions and it's just like human soldiers screaming in pain like we're surrounded

we're surrounded they're everywhere what are we going to do meanwhile the doomslayer is just like fucking suiting up fucking putting the helmet on cocking the shotgun getting his gauntlet arm loaded up and he's just like this is what we do

I just flew from Mars to Earth on a demon space island. This is what I love. Let's do it again. I haven't actually played the newest DLC. I've been saving it. But I'm really looking forward to it. Are you saving it for when you can smoke pot? Maybe.

I don't know if that's a game that I would be able to operate at peak performance while... You need some Adderall to play Doom. know if that's a game that I would play, be able to operate at peak performance while, you know. Right? Yeah. You need some Adderall to play Doom. Yeah. When I'm playing that shit, I'm just like, holy fuck, this is a lot of buttons to, alright, alright, and we're ziplining now. It's just like, you're flying

around, fucking tearing throats out, and jabbing stuff, and collecting all the power-ups. It's a sick fucking game. It's my favorite game of the last five years, easily. Doom 2016 and then Doom Eternal. Doom Eternal really raised the bar, but Doom 2016

was just so refreshing, so cool. You honestly feel like such a badass playing that game. It's what Halo used to feel like to me. Maybe not even that much. You're so fucking hardcore, and I love when he's in hell. I're you're so fucking hardcore and i love when he's like in hell i love the the music is sick but i love when he's in hell and he's like opening these

like audio recordings and like there's that i've talked about it before but it's just so cool there's this part where like it there's like some narrator he's like reading the recording for you which i love so that you don't have to like open up a book like in Skyrim and like fucking flip through it and read it. Like nobody wants to do that shit. We want to play. And so like play the audio for us. And he's just like,

he came through blood and fire, destroying the demons as he came. All feared him. The day, the demons feared him. The humans, the make-believe people who don't even exist feared him. All feared him.

And I'm just, I'm like, all right, that's, I guess this is the guy I'm going to have to fight. They're talking about. He sounds fucking scary. I don't know why you realize they're talking about you the whole time.

Like, like how fucking scary and hardcore you are. And it's just like, that reminds me, that reminds me of, uh, the, uh,

3d Castlevania that came out, like, I don't know, several years ago. Yeah. I had Patrick Stewart reading the monologues. It was in the intro. It might have been in the rest of the game, too, to separate the chapters. Fucking Patrick Stewart.

I like Patrick Stewart. He's got a good voice. Patrick Stewart, Morgan Freeman, Samuel Jackson. Just get people with nice voices to read video games and shit. Who's the guy who plays fucking Gandalf? God, I can't remember his name. Gay McWizard Man. Gandalf.

I want to say – Read the trailer for this. Yeah. I can't believe it's based on that. You guys are not Mark Hamill, but he deserves to be in this list. Yeah, yeah. Mark Hamill is so good as the Joker. That's the voice I want him to do

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Kyle, what's the most useless but most expensive thing you own? Patreon question. Most useless and expensive. Um... I have a $2,500 clock. Mmm. That's pretty good. I think it's pretty

useless because I have my phone on me. Do I really need that? No. Yeah, my $500 gongong so that's the thing that's pretty useless my watch it uh what if you want to include my watches like that's probably if we're like strictly following this i feel like a twenty thousand dollar fucking watch is yeah ridiculous you're right you're right maybe maybe more like a specialized tool or something i mean it's jewelry like like like it depends on what you think is useless or not like i like i like my watch i'm

you know it's got resale value if i wanted to get my money back out of it i could at any time but it's probably the most expensive and useless thing i have because obviously my phone tells me the exact time whenever i fucking look at it i always have my phone on me anyway um i don't know like i got like a crazy sex toy collection like i probably got like five thousand dollars worth of sex toys like you could probably say that some of that is a little a little ridiculous um i was talking to a girl the other day and i was like it's like that scene in batman where the joker's like these toys where does he get these fantastic toys? Do the girls ever feel like this isn't a new toy? This isn't an us toy?

Or they're always like, hey, toys are good. If a girl has a problem with using a toy someone else has already used, I will buy a fresh version of that toy. It gets very expensive. But most girls don't mind because I have a very uh stringent cleaning process for the toys i have my toy uh sanitizer and nobody wants to use a a dirty toy like i'm not a fucking mongoloid or something over here but yeah if there have been girls in the past who have expressed someone else use this still though and this is like yeah yes someone else did that other girl

yeah this that one yeah i don't know about that and i was like all right well let's order a new one then so that's that's part of how i ended up with like just so many fucking dildos let me show you the butt plug i ordered the other day you're gonna be blown away by this shit you're all right show me with your hand so i um i already had like one version of the butt plug I ordered the other day. You're going to be blown away by this shit. All right. Show me with your hand. So I already had like one version of this butt plug. I had the large. Okay.

It's a red plastic butt plug. And I was like, all right, I own the large. I think I'll order an extra large. I'm on Amazon. I'm horny. I'm like, let's order some lingerie and some sex toys. This will be a fun weekend. And so I was like, ah, it recommended this.

It was, you know, previous shopping patterns. It's like, I'll get the, okay, I have the large. I have the medium and the small. Let's get the extra large. Your collection was incomplete. Collection was incomplete. So show me with your hands how big you think the extra large version of the butt plug is. Keeping in mind, the large version is very tolerable for most women who are familiar with anal play. Is it as big as this mic?

Like sideways? I don't know. It's a forced perspective. Give me one of these. Give me one of these. Probably like I'm thinking like an actual. All right, Taylor. Okay, Tucker is showing me like an Arizona iced tea, I think.

Yeah. Why don't you show me like, I don't know, maybe a Coca-Cola can? Top of a ketchup bottle. A little more than that. All right. Be right back. Be right back. It's like one of those ones that's just like,

you know, it goes up very incremental until the end. Are six toys dishwasher safe? Some. Most are silicon-based for sure. That's an easy way to sanitize, but not all. Not all. I feel left behind. I don't really deal with the toys.

Explains why my sibian was destroyed yeah all right let's all right kyle let's see it this good god what that's a that's a novelty thing it's either a garden gnome or a goomba from mario br. I'm not sure which it looks more like. How much was it? Oh, God. How much did it cost? $35. I was like, it wasn't even that expensive. Yeah, yeah.

Because sometimes when the price is out of sync with what you expect it to be, size explains it. I think Tucker got it. Dude, that is offensive. That is not close to it. Oh, Tucker did bigger than the cooking. Oh, but it flexes. So if you got tight anal cavity. But like not a ton. It looks like a traffic cone, man.

It looks like a traffic cone. I feel like this is one of those things that's not meant to be inserted all the way, but I'm sure somebody killed it. After it showed up, I went to the amazon reviews because i was like let's see what other people thought because i had me i can't be the only one who thought i was getting something that i could use and got a novelty item instead um and it's like they're like holy fuck it's a big boy indeed because i think it's called like the doc mitchell's big boy or some shit like yeah doc mitchell makes a great american challenge too yeah and uh and like everybody's called like the Doc Mitchell's big boy or some shit like that. Yeah. Doc Mitchell makes the great American challenge too. Yeah.

And, uh, and like, everybody's just like, won't fit in me. I'm a pretty experienced anal player and, uh, no shot.

Like, like one guy was like, I don't even think my pelvic bones will allow for this to fit in. Like, like everybody was just like i mean there were a few people who were just like fits nice and snugly and i'm like oh my god like but but no i don't know anybody who can handle the fucking doc martin's big boy or whatever this is fucking called it looks like it looks like you'd load it into a cannon or something like yeah it does yeah

if if i were still making gun videos i would totally be like all right let's make a cannon to shoot this now oh my god yeah if you could have done that you could have launched the great american challenge just like yeah you can't do that by the way we'd find some kind of cannons actually yeah i i i can own cannons i i my dad owns a couple of cannons um and and when i'm off probation, maybe I will own some cannons because they're black powder, nonsensical things. But yeah, you can own mortars

and cannons. What about now? On parole you can't? No, on probation, like I said, I can't have pepper spray or a pocket knife or a bow and arrow or any of those things that you can have as a felon.

But yeah, you can't have anything that's even... I mean, this might be technically... This is a weapon of ass destruction. There's no way that I should be allowed to have this. If George Bush knew about these, he'd declare a war on Amazon.

There's no way. He wouldn't allow these to exist. He'd chop it down. It's kind of like a cherry tree. It arrived and I was just like, what the fuck? What the fuck is this? It's just been sitting on my nightstand.

And it's really just a conversation piece now. Because nobody wants to deal with that. Nobody wants to deal with that. I'm not... And even if you did, to what end? I've got big hands. To the rear end. because nobody wants to deal with that. Nobody wants to deal with that. And even if you did, to what end? I've got big hands. To the rear end.

Yeah, okay. Oh my God. I don't even know if the human body is that elastic. I feel like you're covering... Oh, there's some girls on Pornhub who could do that. Oh, I know.

I'm told. I'm told. I bet we've all seen the video from way back in the day where that bald guy sticks his whole head in the woman's vagina. I've never seen that, and I think I'm good. Yeah, I saw it. It's wild. I thought that was disproven. I thought that was a gag video, but I choose to believe it's real. I choose to. It's wild. It's wild. I thought that was disproven. I thought that was like a gag video, but I choose to believe it's real.

I choose to believe it's real. I don't think you could fool 22-year-old me, so I'm going to choose to believe that it was real. That guy knew what was up. It was not his first rodeo in there. No. He's got his head shaved and lubed. I guess if it's lubed, yeah. Oh, it's lubed. Yeah yeah I don't want to see it

he said I had enough of this world I'm going back that would be just a hell of a I don't even know what you advertise the lion the witch in the wardrobe he's yeah just a great commercial I'm done with this. And Mr. Tumnus.

Oh, God. Fucking goat people. Speaking of disgusting, weird videos, this is old. Have you guys seen, I think it's called One Guy, One Jar? Yeah, classic, classic. Very classic, yeah. Okay. You know what's interesting about One Guy, One Jar? He died from that, I think.

Oh, Jesus. I'm not surprised. Well. What's interesting about what i think oh jesus i'm not surprised well what's interesting about that fellow is and taylor told us this he educated me on this point you would think right that that guy he likes putting stuff in his butt no problem that and and one day he just stepped over the line right you know his his doc martin's big boy just hadn't arrived yet and he had a court he had a quart mason jar just sitting there handy, and he was just like, it's going in. And Lord didn't get in there. But no, but no.

He had a history of sticking those in his ass. I think he liked it when they broke. I think he was squeezing them, hoping they'd break or something like that. I think he was squeezing them, hoping they'd break or something like that. Because if you've ever used like mason jars to like, I don't know, make moonshine or hot sauce or like pickle some fucking cucumbers or something. They're tough. They are very sturdy. You can drop them on the floor and they just kind of bounce around. And somehow this guy's ass is cracking them.

No, I don't think so. I think he's sticking it in there and then he's just like hitting it with something. I think he's getting off on like... Imagine that, dropping a cinder block on your belly trying to break him. Oh, that way. What the fuck? Do you have a better plan? I was going to hit it with a hammer or something

when it was still hanging out a little. Or just crush it with your hips because if you get it halfway in, you just squeeze. That's a tight ass pass if you can crush mason jar hands. But there's no padding on either side because that jar is so big that it's touching bone already.

The jar has no... It's not like the Doc Mitchell traffic cone or whatever. There's no... It's just fucking... This isn't my biggest toy, but it's there's no there's no you know it's just yeah it's just and like this isn't my biggest toy but it's the it's the least accessible like like i've got this other toy that's like it's like a giant it's like a it like goes to a tiny point and it's like slowly segments to bigger bigger bigger bigger bigger bigger so that like a girl can like figure out how big is too big. With this, it's just like, yep, too big.

Yeah, yeah. Even the tip of it. Yeah, the tip of it is almost too big town. And then an inch down, it's way too big town. Talking about the fucking jar thing, have you guys heard of Albert Fish, the serial killer? Oh yeah, Taylor did a whole

thing about Albert Fish, about how he wrote the the mother of one of the girls a letter and told her the boys he uh and he told her how he ate her son's butt but with like onions and like carrots and stuff like he made like a pot roast out of her son's like buttocks did you know about the needles in his groin yeah he had like dozens and dozens of like they couldn't electrocute him i think they had to take them out they did an x-ray and he had like fucking 20 just needles and more than that it was like yeah it was like hips groin penis what and he just left them there how did i how did i fucking die like i don't just like jammed

him in so he would always be in like that torturous pain yeah so this dude breaking jars in his asshole he a hundred percent that's albert fishnick he a hundred percent wanted to fucking have broken glass in his asshole i don't know yeah man i don't know how you get to that point like i can totally get like kink and like i don't know how that can kind of progress over time and like it's like there are girls who like oh yeah like a little spanking and then the girls who are like fucking go to town and then there's girls who are just like that's all you got bitch i've had girls i've had girls be like punch me in the face i'm like i'm not gonna punch you in the face yeah i've had that i'm like listen can't do that it's you're a couple years too late for this one can't do it i'm not closing my hand i won't yeah i can't close the hand can't close the hand no visible signs i'm sorry i've smacked some

bitches around but but there's no way i'm like gonna gonna sock you one like i don't think you know what you're asking for here like like i'm not into that i can't like like personally it would turn me off i can't do it i'm sorry yeah I'll slap you with an open hand, but I'm not going to punch you in the face. They're like fucking wail on me. I'm like, I will knock you out, bitch. I can't. I literally can't. Have you ever choked a girl

unconscious? No, I've choked them too hard. Jesus. Well, I never choked dudes unconscious. BJJ? never. Dude's unconscious. BJJ? That's hardcore. You should have said no.

If you said no, I'm like... Yeah, BJJ. Yeah. Minus one J. Minus one J. Oh, man. If Woody would have said that in the moment, I would have had to mute my mic laughing so much the comedic timing would have been amazing no i've i'm joke girls unconscious um like like like

like like she's like riding me and like squeezing her neck and like like careful to like get her carotid arteries on either side not and not like do a like a not strangle her but choke her because there's a big difference and uh and like she like passes out and goes completely unconscious on top of me and then i let go and then she like comes back to life like a like a fucking marionette or something and we're still in the middle of sex and she's just like oh oh she loved it why does she sound like mickey mouse i mean that's what you sound like when you just died in the middle of sex.

Fair enough. I had a girl one time riding me on top and choking me. I didn't ask for it. Have you been choked out? I've not been choked out. She's doing it pretty hard. I was like,

can you not do that? Stop. She's not listening. She's in the zone. I'm like, hey, can you not do that? Stop. She's not listening. She's in the moment. She's in the zone. I'm like, hey, can you fucking not do that? I remember I had to do this thing where I grabbed her by the forehead and then I did a wrestling

kick out. You're kicking out of a pin. I had to basically face Palmer into the ground. You're choking the fuck out of me. Calm down. What are you doing? I don't like getting choked. I don't want you to choke me. I've had girls choke me and I'm just like, I don't like this.

It's not like Donald Tuck. Stop it. Or like, stop pulling my hair stop pulling my hair what the fuck are you doing don't do that that fucking hurts yeah I don't need that

good times good times my dad used to do the same thing great yeah the key to pulling hair is you've got to pull a lot of hair. You can't just pull a little. That hurts. But if you pull the whole head,

then you're doing it right. I've got a bit of a mane. If you grab it at this length when it's longer, it's fine. If it's Kyle's length or Woody's length, that just hurts because you're grabbing a little bit. You can't get enough.

I'm good to go. You can grab my hair. Do whatever you want. Are you telling this to us? Please. I'm trying to find an exception. Next time. Next time I see him get a full hair on the back of his hamstrings. I am hairless.

I ain't got none. A naked mole rat. There was a really good thing on reddit the other day and uh it they did both first it was like um women um what's a sign that a guy you're sleeping with has watched too much porn and there was all these comments from women like when he starts slapping my clit or like by the way i've known girls who were just like all about getting their clit slapped so so i don't i don't co-sign with you young lady okay some some chicks like a good clit slapping and uh and or they were just like when

he's just like going full jackhammer mode like like and and stuff like that and then i and i don't know i was i was thinking like it's kind of bullshit like's plenty of chicks that don't know what the fuck they're doing too. And, and then someone did it like a day or two later. They're like, Hey dudes, what's this? What's a clear sign that a chick has watched way too much porno. And it was just like all of the things that I've experienced, just like these rapid fire, like hand jobs where it's just like, what are you doing? What are you?

It's not a lawnmower. What are you doing down there? Trying to get all the corn off the cob. I hope the chick that did this isn't listening. Dear, I'm far too polite in real life to tell you that this is awful, but she's just slapping her face with my dick

and I hate it. I hate it so much when she is slapping her own face with my dick really fucking hard. Harder than I would ever slap her in the face with my dick. She's just whack, whack, whack. I'm just like, oh God, this hurts so much. I think you get a little tooth on that last one. I'm hating this. Or it's so wet and sloppy that like there's spit

running down my ass crack like i swear to god i when we get up yeah when we get up the bed is there's a puddle on the bed and it's her spit that has ran down my cock and balls past my ass crack onto the bed and i'm just like that is the least sanitary thing in my life i'd rather have a dog take a piss in the middle of my bed than then fucking sleep on this puddle that you have created for me this this puddle that ran down my dick and balls through my ass crack and has accumulated here to the point that it's as big as a basketball those are the two things for me where i'm just like it's like no it's nobody likes this nobody likes this that's pretty awful uh yeah that's man that's like i don't know i've never

had i've had it dripped it not under the bed but i have gooch hair like a fucking it's like an amazon rainforest yeah do something about that it no i can't i mean i can but i don't there's no way i won't well i remember one time i was taking a bath and uh my girlfriend at the time walked in the bathroom she had to pee and she looks into the bathtub and she's like what is going on and i'm like what are you talking about and she's like what's wrong down there and i'm like what are you talking about and she's like i gotta just get a picture I can't I can't fucking I can't explain it and she gets a picture and my gooch hair looks like underwater seaweed it's so thick it is just it's like wafting it's floating um so it's like a filter for that exact problem. It never goes to the bed. It stays locked in.

Oh, that's awful. Wet fur. It's not hard to resolve, plain truth. You could tame that stuff. I could, but there's no point. Very tame on my end. Very tame. Everything down there is just real tamed down.

Just get the trimmer out. Everything's trimmed to like a fraction of a millimeter. I just don't like that feeling between my legs and my balls. You can trim less if you want. A beard trimmer will work on longer beards. People who want

a beard can use a beard trimmer. Nair? Oh, I'm not using... Not Nair. Don't use Nair. I use Nair. It's like the clippers that Barbara uses on your sideburns or back. Yeah. Except that I don't know, it's a beard trimmer and it's a little more lightweight and you can put the clip on there.

So if you're like, look, I don't like being bald. My skin touches and that's I'm not accustomed to that. And it's like, yeah, man, you can just trim all that to like quarter inch, half inch, something not bald, and you will resemble someone with less hair. I just don't like the idea of... The only thing that I will do is, sorry if it's too much, but the only thing I will do is I will take some

scissors and I will trim the upper portion of the bush. See, if you're willing to go there, then the beard trimmer thing is faster and better. It is, but I have shaved the entire bush region before, and I

realized very quickly that was a huge mistake because my dick's a different color. It's a different color than my fucking skin. Do you... Do you have a black dick? No, it's like... You're an African-American down under, aren't you?

He just says one eleven-inch... No? No, not quite. It's like a dog dick. You've got some lipstick down there. It's just a different color. It's like somebody glued it on. It looks like it's like a dog dick you've got some lipstick down there it's like it's just a different color it's basically i'm putting it's like a different color it's like somebody glued it on it looks like it's glued on it's like beige my penis is beige and then my skin's like white

oh you got tan you know pubes and a different color dick he's asian downstairs i guess whatever that entails yeah i know I said this is too much info yeah god damn it anyway there you go I'm not touching the gooch it's just gonna be like nobody needs to be down there anyway you know if you go below

that it's no man's land and well she is a woman so it's okay yeah that's true but no I'm not gonna get, so it's okay. Touche. That's true. But no, I'm not going to get in there. It's going to be seaweed.

It's too hairy. She's going to pop it. Yeah. I'm not going to mess with her. She likes it or not. I like those split erasers. Yeah. It's like my whole body is kind of like Frankenstein because I got these. I'm not going to show my feet on stream

or on video. I have these. I'm not sure if you guys know sizes width-wise, but I have these. I have to wear at least 3E wide shoes. Really?

I don't even know what that is. It's like Fred Flintstone feet. I didn't even know what that is. It's like Fred Flintstone feet. I didn't know it went above E. Yeah, I can't wear an E. The only shoe I can wear normally are Vans, like wide width kind of Vans, but they're not even wide width.

They're just made wide. I have wide fucking Fred Flintstone feet. 14? Yeah, it says he's 14. I'm like 10, size 10, but it's just fucking block. It's like a block. I have good balance, at least. Yeah, very sturdy.

They sell size 14 everywhere. They kind of go up to 13, right? 14 is the last normal stock size. My friend wore 14 and a half and he always complained about having to go get special order stuff. But 14s, he was like, no problem. I can get 14 soccer cleats at whatever, Dix or wherever.

Yeah. Yeah, 14 is pretty fucking big. And God forbid you have anything like, there's that wrestler, the big show i think he's got to get like a 19 triple e or something his whole life is fucked though like like i i we've talked about this before like what is the ideal height for a dude and i think we all settled on like six three or six four one of those i don't think i even want to be that tall because like i i feel like so I went on a hike.

Yeah, I went on a hike recently, and there was a dude, and he wasn't that tall, maybe 6'2", you know. And I have a buddy of mine who's 6'2", as well. And I feel like after – like if I had to pick a height, like if I just could fucking pick one, probably like 6 5 11 5 10 6 foot i'm 5 8 that's okay but it's not stand out like yeah you know i don't want to stand out though like i like i kind of like being 5 8 because i don't like attention being drawn to me no that's short you're coping right now i swear to god i'm not coping i legitimately and i have to cope and when i was hiking um there was a dude who was about six, two or whatever.

And, he was hiking around me. Like he was, I think he was behind me and I kept overhearing him talk to his buddy about how much his fucking knees hurt. My buddy who's six, two has a bad back as well. I feel like once you get,

for me, it'd be like six foot. I'd, I'd want to be six foot. Just like, that's like, I think Jake Gyllenhaal is that height. I just want a couple more inches. Give me, I'm six foot right now. Right. I'd like six foot i'd want to be six foot just like that's like i think jake gyllenhaal is that height i just want a couple more inches give me i'm six foot right now right i'd like six two six three

seems nice six four and i want to be six four yeah i think the honest a little bit more what's your number jericho what do you want to be i said six two six three okay I said 6'2", 6'3". Okay. Those are good. 6'3", especially. At 6'3", is when you start to not be in the crowd anymore. That's when the bell curve is thinning a whole bunch. There are a lot of guys between 5'8", and 6'2". That's kind of the two ends of normal. And then 6'3", 6'4". You just don't see that all the time. Wow, and Hot six, three, six, four.

You just don't see that all the time. Wow. And hot load is six, four. And he wants to be six, six. Everyone wants this to a couple more inches. See, and like hanging out with Harley though.

It's less like he's big. Isn't it? Yeah. He's like six, five or six, six. I don't remember which, but it's like whichever one it is.

It's like not on the border of it. It's not like he's six, four and three quarters. Like he's like a legit six, five or a legit six, six. I don't recall which, but whichever one it is, it's not on the border of it. It's not like he's 6'4 and 3 quarters. He's a legit 6'5 or a legit 6'6. I don't recall which. If he were here, he'd be like, it's 6'6! You know it's 6'6! I'm almost 6'7! He's so into being tall.

He's got his personality wrapped up in it. It's a big deal for him. He talks about going on airplanes, looking around to make sure he's the biggest fucker there. All right, we're good. All right, we're good. I don't need to assert my dominance on this Delta flight. Last time I had to put that tall fuck in his place.

But that's the other bad thing is the seats. Traveling, it becomes more and more inconvenient. My friend I was talking about is 6'7". He's big, and he complains all the time because he played basketball obviously that those flights like if you don't get exit row it fucking sucks you're in prison how good at basketball was he where he was on a scholarship for brown okay started yeah i mean he wasn't like the obviously not professional grade but like good enough to get full ride yeah well you said that he was uh flying for basketball and I was like,

he must be pretty good. I usually fly first class. Obviously, obviously it's been a while since I've been allowed to fly, but the main reason besides the fact that I always flew with two big bags anyway. And so like when you factor in the bags, like first class over coach was like 80 more dollars and you're going to be on a four hour flight. It's like,

yeah, I'll pay the $80 or whatever since I'm bringing two bags anyway and get the bags for free with first class. But like I have flown coach for like little like hopper flights. Like if it's like two hours or something or like, I don't know. I think Seattle to LA is a pretty quick flight. Like,

like some little flights like that. Maybe occasionally I've gotten a coach and it's just like i'm in pain by the time we get there like like my back hurts it's all fucked up and like when i finally stand up i'm so fucking happy like i'm like antsy in my seat like come on get the fucking plane parked i want to stand up i'm tired of this shit it's fucking painful i'm tired of fucking being cramped in here like i can't imagine being 6'4". I watched that Andre the Giant documentary. We were talking about him flying. I don't remember how big Andre was,

but we all know he was a fucking colossal human being. 7 feet, 500 pounds. He was about 500 pounds, 7'2", legit. They talk about him having to piss in a trash can in the aisle of planes and having to like shit in bathtubs and hotels god oh my god right and it's just like man that guy's life is just a never-ending like problem everything he does like like anytime he like does some normal thing where he interacts with a a piece of or a chair. If he was here at this table right now, the camera would be at his belly button. It would be a big problem.

He wouldn't fit in my chair. He wouldn't fit in my chair right now. No way. This desk wouldn't be appropriate. A keyboard wouldn't work for his fingers. You know how old people will get an iPhone and they're like, how do you touch one thing at a time? It's like, you'll figure it out, Grandpa.

I played Mario Kart with Shaq and Shaq, like shaking his hand, I was like, oh, like, okay, like that is the level of difference between the size of our hands. And he had a controller to play Mario Kart. And he was just like, his thumb would just cover all four buttons. Like, it's

not a feasible way to do anything. I remember when i met shack he's like seven foot five legit he's huge i don't know if he's seven five at that height it's all the same to me but i mean he was at an mlg gaming thing and people like shack is here shack is here and then there's like a crowd that gathers around this guy and i'm like oh my god he's bigger i knew he was big he's bigger than i thought he was and then it took me like two minutes to realize that's not even shack there's an even bigger guy over there that was shack that was a shack's brother he brought along i think it might have been shack's brother brother. Shaq's brother is like 6'9 or something like that.

Everybody's blown away. And then Shaq fucking saunters in eight inches taller. I do recall at the grocery store, I think it was last year before COVID really hit. People were kind of scrambling in the grocery store for a lot of supplies and stuff. Because there were rumors it was spreading or whatever. And I remember going to the grocery store. And I was just getting some eggs or whatever, looking for eggs. And I remember seeing this shadow being cast over me.

And I'm thinking, my first thought is, who's this big motherfucker? And I turn around. I turn around. And there's this, I swear to God, it's a woman. And she's got to be like six foot six. The biggest fucking woman. I felt like Deuce Bigelow and you know, like that's a huge bitch.

Like this was the biggest, I had to stop and kind of stare because this woman was fucking huge. I could have swore it was going to be like a, just a really abnormally tall dude, but nah, fucking woman. So I've never seen a woman that big. abnormally tall dude but nah fucking woman so i've never seen a woman that big i've seen chicks um like six one and six two like like and obviously i'm aware that they get bigger than that but like yeah a six foot one chick is wild like especially like if she wears heels i i like when six foot one when really tall chicks like some of them are kind of self-conscious about it

they always wear flats because like normally they because dudes don't like a chick being taller than them. I would always be like, I love that you're taller than me. This is awesome. Fucking throw on those three-inch heels. Three-inch heels, a six-foot-one tall chick is like, I'm looking up at her

and I'm just like, this is badass. This is great. I got to climb her i gotta yeah yeah i'm intimidated because you're fucking six two i'd beat the shit out of you lady want to swing on you like a jungle i have a buddy i have a buddy of mine who's uh i think he's like five foot six maybe five foot five and his girlfriend's like six foot one so awesome yeah he has a problem with it but yeah they're clearly both into that yeah um uh kitty's cousin jj is like shit five four five three maybe

something like that little little pocket fella and uh but but but he like he knows how to play the game he got himself like this tiny japanese girlfriend that's super hot, and she's like 4'11 or something. And so they look like the perfect couple, like height-wise. If that's how you imagine those sort of things, it's perfect. He just found himself a super tiny hot chick. Exactly. I was training. Dude was learning to fly a paramotor.

He was huge. He weighed 450. I don't know how tall he was he was a little heavy but not like you know the biggest body fat guy you've seen today you know like he just in the realm of normal he was just like seven foot and a little heavy and he he's gigantic they put him on a tandem wing and gave him like a tandem motor but he flew solo yeah he was just the size of two people and uh his wife was like six six or something like that too and i was asking i was like are you guys like like like when you walk around town you must be known like there's the the ginormous couple and she's like yeah especially

when we bring his twin brother so there's a whole bunch of them jesus christ a lot of tall people i would be if i were six six or like if i were like six six six seven or something like that i would i would and i wanted kids and you wear heels i would wear heels um like like and i don't mean platform men shoes i would wear ladies heels but but i would also like do my best to find one of those six foot six amazonian bitches to like make super children with but like the idea of like like look i know you don't like me at all but kids are gonna play professional sports like i would laugh so hard if they came out like danny devito or something it's kind of backfired. It's like a twin scenario.

Somehow we create a mutant code name. But you know for sure. If you're 6'7", your wife's 6'4", half your kids are playing collegiate level sports for sure, right? If you're 6'7", and your wife's 6'4",

I bet you're the weak link. Sure. That. If you're six, seven and your wife's six, four, I bet you're the weak link. Sure. Sure. Yeah. That happened to me. So I, I think I've told this before, but there was this little online calculator that would say how tall your kids would be. And I pump in my wife's height. She's five, seven. I pump in mine. I'm six foot and said the kids would be six one. And I was like, wait a minute. I'm the weak link. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's what, and it panned out that way. Cause Colin is taller than you now. Yeah. Yeah. This is how tall is hope. Is she like as tall as Jackie? No, she's shorter than Jackie.

She's maybe five, four, but Colin might be six, one, six, two by now. I'm not sure. What also gets me is how deep his voice is and uh

uh he just alphas the fuck out of me at this point he's taller his voice is deeper my uh your dad's tall isn't he he's about my height he's about six oh okay for some reason i had it in my mind that he was taller i know he's fit that's that's he's really fit now like especially for being 73 i think think I think he rides his bike like 15 miles a day that's wild he was running up until like 71 but it hurts his knees

I saw like a baseball game or a softball game on reddit today it was a 90 something year old man running home from second it was pretty cool to see him do it somebody hits and he's on second he runs all the way home he ran like a 90 year old man running home from second. It was pretty cool to see him do it. Somebody hits and he's on second. He runs all the way home.

He ran like a 90-year-old man. But it was a run. It was a run. He didn't look like a fucking athlete or anything. There was no water involved. No. He was running. It was definitely a run. They say if you don't use it, you lose it. So keep fucking doing as long as you can.

You could have stopped right there. Keep fucking. Keep fucking. My dad is a little bit shorter than me. I think he's like 6'1", and my mom is 5'4". So somehow I got the best of everything and somehow beat the odds and made it a little bit taller than him. I'm quite lucky because my mom is a lowlyly five foot one and my dad was 5 11 so i'm actually on the upper spectrum of that thankfully

so yeah our friend dirty he is uh i think he just got his license fixed because for the longest time i think he he like he's a very um what's the word abrasiveasive personality. I like dirty. Carry on. I like dirty too. We all do. And he's got an abrasive personality though. And he went to the DMV to get his license like six years ago or whatever. And I guess he like managed to piss off the lady behind the counter, like within five minutes of knowing her.

And she was five foot two on his driver's license. And he just had that shit for like six years or however long you have a driver's license before you got to renew it. And so like the whole time he's just like, bitch, you know, I'm five five. Come on. This is bullshit. Just so upset. Like every now and then we talk about Dirty a lot on the show. He's in our $50 patron discord. Like a bunch of people are in there's a couple hundred and um and so every

now and then somebody will come in there and they think that like dirty is like the toughest guy in prison so like when you come in you got an alpha dirty to like to like to like set yourself apart from everybody and like every time somebody comes in, I don't know, there'll be eight people playing League of Legends or something like that. Dirty's in there streaming. They'll just hop in. What's up, Dirty? You midget ass faggot. Dirty will just tear them apart

verbally. Of course, he's got home field advantage. Everybody's just loving it. Dirty's always making some mean fuck. He's quick-witted. I think when you're 5'5 or 5'6 or whatever he is,

you grow up and learn to be quick-witted because that's all you got. He'll just fucking tear them apart. It's always really funny. They'll come in there and just... Like I said, it's like they're trying to alpha the biggest guy in prison to like make sure they don't be anybody's bitch and they end up being dirty's

bitch in the end that's another thing like uh whenever i was on tinder um i don't lie about my height so i'm like i'm five foot eight but people lie about their height on there so when as a guy you say you're five foot eight the girl assumes you're like five foot four yeah i had to fucking take a picture of my license. I'm like, look, I'm not fucking, I'm not, I'm not lying. So after that, it was okay. But yeah, a lot of people on, on Tinder, actually a lot of dudes in general will, will overrate it.

I'm actually probably like five, seven and a half real talk. Cause the five, eight was with shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just got to own it man like whatever you are you can't change it so dudes lie about their height so much that when like i meet some i i if i telegram 6'2 and then i meet her she's like you gotta be like 6'5 and i'm just like

you've met a lot of 5'11 yeah yeah yeah you've met a lot of dudes who are 5'10 or 5'11 and told you they were 6'1. And you have a warped sense of what heights actually are. Yep. Notice I can grab things off the top of the refrigerator. That's how you know that I am over 6' tall. Oh, God. Whenever we talk about height, it just reminds me of wings.

That whole kerfuffle. You said he was 6'4 four i think he might have told us he was six six he told like it was back so this is like way back this is 12 14 years ago maybe even this is like prime time wings of redemption when he's the bad boy of call of duty right and and and you know the only thing you'd ever seen of him was like he had done like a controller review one of those custom controllers with the pads on the back. They had paid him $300 to make a video, which was wild to all of us. He's got a sponsor.

It's just his hands. People were like, your hands are kind of small, brother. He's just like, I'm 6'4", 325 pounds. I'm a bubba. We all took that as fact. The man said he's 6'4", 325. That's what he is. Fucking linebacker. God damn.

Why didn't he go pro? Did he play for Clemson? It sounds like he should have. Maybe he had a knee injury or something. Now he just plays games because he couldn't go pro or whatever. And then he uploaded a picture years later, and it's him standing next to his pickup truck.

And we all know how tall pickup trucks are. And it's like the truck's taller than him. And if you're 6'1 or 6'2, you know that, ah, I'm about as tall as a pickup truck. I can see right over the top of a pickup truck. And then this guy is under the pickup truck by that much i can see right over the top of a pickup truck and then this guy is like under the the pickup truck like by that much and this is like i think we may have miscalculated something here there and then woody and i met him and like we're both taller um what he's what he's about six feet and yeah and what he's taller and uh and you know i'm i'm a good bit taller too and no i think he's about five foot eleven

you know i never could gauge uh wings actual height because i he'd always like talk about his weight or whatever and i'm thinking it's it's worse the shorter he is if he's that heavy so if he was like uh i i can never gauge so i'm like man how big is he because i have a buddy of mine who's about my height and he's about 300 pounds and he is very wide um so yeah i just never knew how tall he was so it's kind of cool to have an actual comparison to 300 pounds at 5'8 that's a wide boy that's a wide boy that's a heavy load i was 200 pounds at 5'8", and I was fucking... It looked like I ate a barrel. I was thick.

No muscle either. I was just pure. I've been obsessed with this subreddit called Longboys for the last few days. It's not what you think. Woody's like, oh, have you now? He's coming out. It sounds like a cat.

Kyle, i always knew when i love you just the same ah i love you too man more than you know uh long boys are these like super long dogs um like like and uh specifically borzois um and they have like 12 inch snoots like this dog's like snap is like that a foot fucking long like a subway sandwich and they look ridiculous and for like the last week i've been strongly considering getting myself a long boy like i went as far as like googling like borzoi breeders in georgia and i found i found one but the problem is it's like this, it's one of those ladies that you can tell was like barren and she couldn't have

all these dogs and now she like raises championship fucking, what's it? I can't find it. It's L-O-N-G-B-O-Y-E-S Lomboy Yeah and I just went to top of the year, and they're fucking hilarious looking.

I'm going to see now. They're super fucking cute. Go ahead. Yeah, it's like you said. There's an E at the end. But I don't know. I want one of these motherfuckers now. Yeah, I've seen these dogs before.

They look like greyhounds. They kind of do, yeah. Well, see, on the subreddit, there's several different breeds that make the cut as long boys. Sometimes you see dachshunds, some greyhounds, some...

What's that monstrosity that you own? Great Danes? Great Danes. But Borzois are the most striking of them uh but borzois are the most uh striking of them all like borzois are the ones that have like the ridiculously long snoops um if you if you scroll down to one that says watering required for extra longness um what a fucking horse of a dog also i noodle i think zach went to a porn sub um on accident yeah yeah anyway yeah so that looks like a that that looks to me like a dachshund there like that that that tan that is a very long dog though it's super long like it's on two fucking beds and uh

going down there's a there's a really funny video of like a Borzoi drinking from you're almost there they're good looking dogs to me I expected them to be more like deformed and weird when Kyle described them some of these photos especially with like a perspective it looks so silly

or like a wide angle lens or something keep scrolling down and you'll find you'll find this guy a perspective that looks so silly. Or like a wide angle lens or something. Keep scrolling down and you'll find this guy. Oh, shit. He's the king of the long boys. The big snout. Yeah, he's got the super snoot. And he's like, it says watering required for extra longness.

If you go to top this month, you'll find him too, for sure. But I don't know. I kind of want one of these fucking dogs i told kitty i was like i'm thinking about getting a long board and like center the picture and she's like no no no long board that dog narrow boy it looks like i think i've seen one where it's like a fake vogue cover of the dog with like something like that's turtleneck. A dog might interfere with your plans 106 days from now though, right? Because you wanted to live in apartments. Oh, there's a long boy.

I don't know, man. Yeah, I could bring him along. I could bring him along. But it'll make it more difficult for you to... Because if I remember right, you wanted to go to wherever, maybe Colorado. And then you'd stay in Airbnbs and guest houses and who knows what. And that's all harder to pull off with a dog.

Yeah. You just don't tell them. You just don't tell them, you know, like, like, you know, we're going to put this all in, in, in, in fish's name. So I figured like I do whatever I want. Yeah. That makes sense. Sure.

And I mean like, you know, it'll, it'll be fine. Yeah. That's Yeah, that makes sense. Sure. And I mean, like, you know, it'll be fine. Yeah. That's the main thing. It's like going to Airbnbs. I've actually not lied and actually looked for ones that accommodate pets, but they're more expensive. They are. They are.

Like, I think it's kind of annoying right now. We were talking about this a couple days ago because Woody's obviously traveling and it's important that he gets good internet for the show and i was saying oh maybe like airbnbs are the way to go but because of covid it's harder to get one night stays in airbnbs than it used to be because they have a complete cleaning nonsense so that's lame i'll be glad when this fucking thing is over i don't want to hear about any more fucking variants. Don't tell me about Delta COVID. Every time I hear about a variant, they say the current vaccine handles it too.

Yeah. Don't tell me about Panamanian COVID. I'm just like, you know what? I'll get an annual vaccine. I don't give a fuck. Just stop bothering me with all your variant details. Put it in there when I get it next year. They just...

I mean, I read about something like some kind of weird fucking mosquito-borne COVID-like virus last year. It's just to get clicks. They're just trying to get... Do you guys think it came from a lab? Yeah. I'm like 70% sure that...

Alright. I don't think it was... If it did, it wasn't like uh let's make this and fucking release it onto the world it probably got contaminated like somebody fucked up procedure and it got loose it's not like how how do you think they go through and and figure out how to handle viruses like you know they're working with sars covet in the fucking lab probably that's like yeah i think it began in a lab um i'm i'm like not 100 obviously but like i strongly suspect that um but then like the you know the going back to those

chinese wet markets where they've got like eight kinds of animal that we don't even know about stacked on top of each other like shitting on top of each other and each each each animal that we don't even know about stacked on top of each other, like shitting on top of each other and each, each, each animal that we've never heard. I didn't know what a pangolin was. I don't know what a fucking pangolin was like, like, like I know what, like,

like until they showed me a picture of one in a cage and a Chinese wet market with like the people in the background eating scorpions and shit for people not up on this issue. This is the background originally said that COVID existed in bats and COVID-19. And the thing that made it unusual is that it could switch species. Usually, you know, if you get sick, you can't give it to your dog, your cat, whatever. This could go from bats to humans. And they ate this food that came from these Chinese wet markets. And that was where COVID came from. That was their, I think that's still the prevalent theory. I don't even know.

It's hard to get any answers without politics being involved. But the more recent thing is that Fauci somehow funded Chinese research. And this Chinese research was about interspecies viruses. And they found one that could work in both bats and people, which I guess is a gain of function research that it used to just do bats. And now it does more than just bats. It's a gain of function research. And that a guy who was doing this got sick, brought it home,

got his wife sick. And then there's patient zero. And now there's the zombie apocalypse. And the Republicans are like, see, I told you. I told you all along. It came from a Wuhan lab and this and that. Now they acted like China had sort of weaponized it and intentionally inflicted this upon the world.

And now that the theory is some guy got it and gave it to his wife by accident, they're doing the I told you. And we still don't know what the truth is. Hmm. Yeah. One of the worst weaponized. Yeah yeah my guess is that they were they were you know they had it in a laboratory somewhere and it got out and they knew that right away and

that they lied about that for a very very long time and where i think the real problem is i don't think they made a bioweapon and then unleashed it on their own people purposely or accidentally to own the US, baby. Yeah, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But what makes more sense is that they were doing some viral experimentation for maybe not weapons, but maybe just

walking around in there. Yeah, doing whatever evil scientists do. And it got out and then we still don't know how many like chinese it killed like like and i don't think we ever will like the way they the way they cover up their um their uh their failures you know like we just saw it right with the anniversary of the tiananmen uh massacre or whatever you know the with the tank man and all that stuff and how all

that stuff is like forbidden content and it's hidden and everything i mean the way they rewrite history over there um who knows it could have maybe it killed millions and millions and millions of chinese like we'll never know i don't know why everybody's upset about getting a booster shot like i just i don't understand the issue here just fucking like if i need one every year great if especially if it's as easy and painless as it was to get the shot here i was literally walk up don't even stop walking go immediately to a seat sit down get stabbed and then they're like all right go away and i was like fucking okay i don't get it i don't get why i don't get it like we're supposed everybody's like it's the same people who have an issue with it like we're supposed everybody's like it's the same people

who have an issue with this who are like supposed to be like the alphas right you're like we're americans this is what we do we're independent and strong and i drive a pickup truck and all this nonsense and it's like yeah but you seem to be really afraid of getting a fucking vaccine bro like like yeah you seem to think that not wearing a mask is some sort of sign of your liberty or some shit, as if your dad didn't get a polio vaccine. Yeah, that's a good one. What the fuck? My dad and my uncle obviously both got the polio vaccine because they were of that age group. And my uncle was kind of hesitant about this thing.

And I was like, Dad, have you mentioned to him that scar on his fucking arm that everybody in in you and his age group on the planet has today and it's what keeps them from not being crippled right now like they knew it we we all knew a guy um who did who refused the polio vaccine back in like i don't know 58 or some shit 1960 dude's in a wheelchair dude's always been in a wheelchair because he got fucking polio. Guess what? Polio vaccine worked. Those people didn't get polio. That's a good thing. There's no more polio, I don't

think. If there's still polio, that's shocking to me. I'd be surprised, but I'm pretty sure we completely eradicated polio through a fucking vaccine that came from the 60s. I definitely trust our scientists today more to make a safe vaccine than you trust those guys from the 60s. I definitely trust our scientists today more to make us take that team than you trust those guys

from the 50s, right? I lined up for that shit as soon as it was available. I figured the worst thing that could happen is it's going to have some ill side effects and I'm going to be part of a class action suit. Kill me.

Give 27 bucks? Sure, let's go and and like you know it's like i i never i was never too afraid of covid anyway as far as like my own health it was like the people around me that i didn't want to infect of course like you always hear those stories of people getting like permanent lung damage and stuff and all that not and i don't even know dysfunction was one of them i take so much blue chew we wouldn't know if my dick worked or not at this point that thing could have stopped working a year and a half ago i'd have no clues just running on high octane i i take it every single day when i wake up um yeah i'm with you on the covid vaccine and not everyone can take it and

i kind of feel like a chunk of society. See, you can't call people selfish, but that's how I see it. I can't get around that idea that they're just like, oh, fuck you. I'm fine. And it's like, you live in a community though. And we're trying to eradicate this disease. And you're like, you guys will have to achieve

herd immunity without me. Yeah. I don't get it. I will say this. I never really got the flu vaccine because I didn't want to deal with like, first of all, I've never had the flu that I know of. I just never get it. I never do.

I think I've got a decent immune system and I don't socialize with a ton of people. I don't go into a lot of crowded places. I've never had the flu. So I was just like, I don't want to. I don't go into a lot of crowded places. I've never had the flu. I was just like, I don't want to. I don't want to go get stabbed in the arm. I don't want to deal with the ... After a day or two after you get the flu vaccine, you always

feel shitty. I don't want to deal with any of that. This is different. The whole fucking global economy is all fucked up. We were fighting over toilet paper last year. The supply chain is all garbaged. I'm tired of wearing a global economy's all fucked up and we're fighting over toilet paper last year you know the supply chain's all garbaged and like i'm tired of wearing a fucking mask everywhere i go i had to wear a mask today when i went to the hospital pharmacy it's like tired of this shit i don't want to wear

a mask anymore i don't like it i want to go to the movies again i want my amc stock to improve how is amc doing is it going up i'm sure it is i have to know that conviction amc was the one i was more excited about in terms of a bet for because um you know it's a it's a stock that was beaten down by covid and seemed like it might just be naturally strong yeah i feel i felt like uh things like disney carnival cruise like uh amc were all good bets i think that's what my financial advisor said to like you know just hey hit the gamut of the mom and pop stores and see what happens they're not mom and pop but like uh physical retail and whatnot because i hadn't gone shopping or done anything involving shopping until uh like they lifted most of the restrictions so i would even have a reason to go wear some new clothes somewhere

right instead of just like waking up when i was like oh i'm part of the group of people that's stimulating uh you know the fucking retail stores i think retails i mean it was already struggling right it was already sort of getting replaced by online shopping. I'm not sure it's going to go back, that they're going to go back to retail. I could be wrong. Who knows? But I kind of like the work from home thing with Taylor. If there was never COVID, Taylor would have worked from work.

And that's how work is. He gets COVID. And now it's like, I need to work from home. It's a key issue to him this is a bunch of things i don't think they're gonna go back there's new yeah some things won't go back but the things that were were um you know for fun i think that those things come back you know and that's why i think that like okay i promiseclub was identical to the way that it was prior to. Literally, it was in

strip clubs, all that shit. The stuff that you can't replace. You can definitely replace going to your 9-5 video conferencing, but you can't replace going to a nightclub. That's not even my thing, but you can't replace that.

As much as i do appreciate as much as i do appreciate like certain titles being available to stream immediately like i watched the uh the new conjuring movie the other day like that was cool i i was gonna go to a theater and then i was like oh wait it's also on hbo well let's fucking go like i'm not going to theater like i can press this button we can watch it right right now. I'm like iffy if it's going to be any good anyway, but it doesn't replace the theater. Like if it weren't available on HBO, I would have gone to a theater.

And I'm, I'm going to go to a theater. As soon as I find something I want to watch, I keep looking at what's in theaters and I'm just like, no, I don't want to see that shit. There's a chicken and an egg thing, right?

As you know, they have these great films in the can and then I want to put them in theaters till people go there. And then maybe people don't go to theaters until they put them there. And yikes. Somebody has got to take that risk. Um, we saw,

we saw what happened with tenant though. Um, I think that, they released that way too early. I think if you released, if he'd waited till like now to release tenant probably would have like, that could have been the movie that brought theaters back. But didn't something just do well.

I seriously doubt anything did well by like regular theater standards, could have been the movie that brought theaters back but didn't something just do well i seriously doubt anything did well by like regular theater standards maybe by covet standards something did okay but um but i'm not aware of anything demon slayer movie demon slayer movie broke all of the broke the record for most sales for any anime movie ever um and was special localized releases in theaters here. I don't know what that is. It's an anime. I mean, the only reason the only one that I even would have known of

if I were if I owned movie theaters, I would I would be like having like a Saturday night porno night. I released it. One hundred and ten million. That's what I Place. I released it at 110 million. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, that's strong.

Quiet Place, too. That's because a lot of people didn't know John Krasinski wasn't in it. During COVID, you could actually, the theater's not here, you could rent out an entire theater for 100 bucks. Here, too. Yeah.

Yeah. It was pretty sweet. We did it once. I'm probably doing it Monday. I'm probably doing it Monday. Nice, nice. And drive-in theaters, they're making a comeback. it was pretty sweet um we did it once i'm probably doing it monday i'm probably doing it nice nice and uh drive-in theaters they're making a comeback uh i actually went down during covid as well so that was pretty sweet back when i could smoke weed i was exclusively a drive-in uh movie theater guy

because there was one near my girlfriend at the time yeah uh in east atlanta and it was just like holy shit we can just like we go out here and just smoke weed the whole time. Me and her friends would just put a bunch of lawn chairs out in front of the car and just sit there with a bunch of beer and a bunch of weed. You can bring your own snacks and fucking beer and not to pay premium indoor theater tax.

We used to do that as a kid. This is before all the drive-thrus died when I was a kid. My dad would take us, the family of four, and sometimes we'd sit in the car and sometimes we'd get out. Yeah.

What I love about it was- Warm summer nights in Georgia. It's really nice to get out and just sit in a lawn chair and have a good time. Oh, absolutely. I love how, sorry, real quick. I love how the fucking,

for those that don't know about drive-ins, they'll broadcast the sound on like it isn't an am radio station and you tune to it in your car so you could or you can bring like a you know handheld like radio or whatever which i thought was fucking cool i haven't i hadn't been to one until you know last year when i went to one but oh they've been awesome the newer ones like some of the ones that i've been to here uh it's just an app on your phone that you can bluetooth to so that's cool so it's like no radio audio anymore it's just like it actually sounds really good uh sweet yeah that's great back in the day there was a speaker you hung on the window

and that's where the sound came from but it sucked it was kind of tinny yeah it's still though it's vintage i like that it's like you know vhs sounds like shit look like shit but we watched i can't get on board the vhs man like like i'm i'm into like that fucking like that like i don't know what's the word vintage people that like that old retro yeah i'm into that retro shit like i've got a record player and i actually do like my record player like it's a love mine yeah and it's not like a new like record player it's one from the 80s and it's just like i love when i drop the needle and it's like that crackliness and i've got a bunch of old johnny cash and john denver like like from like old actual records not the new stuff yeah hipster is the word i was looking for hipster and uh and but

but vhs dude it's a vibe get this man so there is this uh site that will actually release new movies or newer movies on vhs they'll do like a special limited edition usually down to like 50 prints or whatever they're not expensive they're like 20 30 bucks if you can get your hands on them you can i don't do it i keep them but you can resell them for like 150 200 300 a pop people fucking love their vhs so much like here's an example i bought this one for uh i think 30 25 something like that just a month ago it's already selling for about 150 on ebay because there was only 50 made so huge collectors item better than poo coin yeah this is it is great but again i'm i don't sell them so i just collect them but it's fucking cool i like that they're coming back i got a

working vcr actually right next to me um touching it right now yeah i uh i i obviously i grew up with vhs that was the thing but i don't i just remember when dvd came out it was just like oh we've got to go to dvd and then like obviously now like like having 4k ultra hd blu-ray it's like well if i'm gonna buy media like that's what i gotta get i like it and i don't even feel like 8k is going to replace it that much like like i know that like 8k is the next thing right like they're going to start 8k monitors are going to be more and more affordable and 8k media will eventually be the thing but 4k is so good like vhs sucked vhs was real shitty and the first 720p dvds and 1080i dvds those kind of suck too but like 4k is is really fucking sharp i like it 4k and the hdr i like it either 4k or vhs there's no between

okay give me either give me dog shit or give me the fucking you know i mean like i i could go along with that like if you really want to be a hipster, though, you got to get the LaserDisc or the Betamax. You invite a lady over and you pull out a LaserDisc and you pull out a... She's going to be wet as fuck. She's going to gush like a fucking waterfall.

It's loose. I guarantee girls who are like 20 years old right now have no idea what a LaserDisc is. Are you guys old enough for LaserDisc? You're not. I'm barely old enough for LaserDisc. I don't think so because I had a LaserDisc when I was a child.

Under 12. We had all of them. My father's friend owned a rental store and he rented the movies and he sold the equipment and we just seemed to be on it. Whatever came out, we would get that. How much did those cost? I'm going to look

that up on eBay. I wouldn't know. It really was about movie selection. Some looked a little bit better, but the movie selection wasn't as good. That sucked. We started with Betamax. Our family was Team Betamax, hoping they would win the wars, but they didn't. You know why they didn't, right?

Porn. I wonder if more expensive in porn is the same thing. Maybe porn chose VHS because it was less expensive. It's the opposite. Laserdisc would not print porn. Because they didn't like the non-family vibe or whatever. The morality clause kind of thing um so it looks like i do mean betamax um so it looks like a laser disc player is cheap like relatively cheap 100 to 250 dollars or something like that it's not bad yeah but and then the media

for it oh man here's well this one's 20 but it's a Star Karaoke Volume 2 Tropical Paradise Laser Disc Chinese Hong Kong. Okay. Jesus Christ. Here's, oh, wow. Okay. I'm looking for actual movies. Star Trek The Cage Original Television Pilot Episode 1 on Laser Disc. $10. Oh, I love that big brown

wood panel one right there. That SL 5200. I might buy that just to fucking have an ugly wood panel monstrosity in my house here you go you hipster here's fists of fury with bruce lee on vhs for nine dollars hey you know actually i've got a big fucking i've got like i'd say four containers full of actual like vintage vhs that I was just given. It's mileage. Which movies?

A ton. Mostly horror. A lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Like True Lies. Stuff like that. Commando. I think I got Predator. All the Nightmare on Elm Street. You're speaking my language now.

I love that Arnold Schwarzenegger shit. The other day I was watching um like like movie trailers with somebody and i showed them the trailer for commando because it's so fucking absurd anybody who's listening to this right now if you got a moment you've never seen the commando trailer just watch it like as you're watching it you're like wait but why even watch even watch they're like like like it starts off and it's like it's it's one of those classic trailers where there's a voiceover and it's like he was the he's the most dangerous killing machine on the planet trained in this and that and the other and they took his daughter and you're like wait why why would they ever do that why would they because there's like pictures of there's

like a video of arn walking and he's got a log on his shoulder that he's nonchalantly walking with that has to weigh like 1,000 pounds. Like it's like a log that you would see on a logging truck, and he's just like walking with it, and they kidnap his daughter to like force him to assassinate somebody. But they already had an army of like henchmen and like five or six like badasses themselves. And it's like, they could have killed that guy they wanted dead without ever involving Arnold Schwarzenegger and pissing him off by kidnapping his fucking daughter. He's like the world's most dangerous man who has retired

to the wilderness to carry logs and raise his daughter by himself. And it's like, but then they took his daughter. And it's just like, the guy's trying to blackmail him. He's like, you're going to do what we say took his daughter and it's just like the guy's trying to blackmail he's like you're gonna do what we say right and he and arnold's just like wrong and like literally you know he's nothing but one-liners he's like wrong and fucking blows the guy away and then it's nothing but a montage of him that's where that famous gif comes from of him like

putting the black camo on putting the knife i thought that was oh yeah it's it's it's he's putting the he's got grenades bristling off of his chest he's got the full like striped camouflage all over the big commando knife like he's got three guns like inexplicably and he's like storming an island by himself and there's literally scenes where he's just got a big belt fed machine gun shooting it with one hand and swatting in the open standing in the open and like there's like he's just like mowing dozens and dozens of people down it like he must kill a hundred people in that movie easily it's the same movie where he's like hanging the guy off the cliff by his foot he's holding a grown grown man with one hand, holding him upside down by his foot.

He's like, remember, Sully, when I told you I'd kill you last? He's like, yeah, man, that's right, you did. I lied. There's a part where he's in a Porsche, and he's so big that he doesn't fit in a Porsche. So he rips the driver's seat out, and he sits in the floorboard. But his shoulders are still at an appropriate level for a car.

So he's just sitting in the floorboard of a Porsche, driving it, and he wrecks it so it flips over upside down. So he just gets out and flips a whole Porsche over, like barehanded back onto its tires. It's a fucking great movie. It's nonsensical as fuck. Can Schwarzenegger hold a man by his foot?

Yeah. That man in particular he could. It was a tiny man. Yeah, I think that man in particular he probably could have. Like if it was like 140 pounds and he's just like... That's what he looked like. He looked like a little guy. Yeah, I think he could do it. Not for a long time though. Not for a long time.

But long enough to do that shot, I think he could. Yeah. Long enough to get one man out. Like Bill Duke is also in that movie. He's the black guy from Predator who's always shaving with no shaving cream. He's a big dude. He's also in Commando. And so is – it's not – is it Jesse – it's not Jesse Ventura. He's in Predator, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's some other dude who's got an Australian accent. Yeah. It's a good movie. It's not a goodralian accent yeah it's good it's not a good movie i take it it's it's those are the best movies you guys everybody listening should also watch uh cobra with sylvester stallone there is i'm not going to tell you much about it other than he's got a fucking match in his mouth the entire movie he's mad guy you know what his best line in the movie is what's that you're a disease and i'm the cure yeah and then he kills the guy yep he kills the

guy when he's trying to like get the like all the bad guys in that movie are like they have no like motivation no it's insane it's just like there's an insane street gang called like the ax men who are just randomly murdering people with axes in the streets of la and he rides around in this like i don't know like 1930s like gray fucking car that's all chopped out and lowered and stuff and he's just constantly like just bullying people and just being weird and and just shoot killing people are you guys watching loki i didn't i haven't watched the second episode yet i meant to but today's been busy i know man i meant to watch it before the show but i couldn't catch up i won't spoil it but uh i'll just say this i think it was even better than the first episode sick i look

forward to it yeah i i'm glad they finally got a good show because you know i didn't like wanda vision and captain america was passing so i i think that um they're doing a pretty cool thing someone said it on reddit and i like the way they phrased it they're like these are side characters in the marvel universe well falcon is that his name uh the winter soldier bucky wanda and um low vision and vision and but in loki they're all sort of side characters none of them are the thor captain america main guys but uh to give these side characters tv shows instead of failing movies i'm in it i like it and you get the extra time to sort of learn the side character we're going to know know more about Loki and Wanda and all those guys than we would have in a movie. I agree.

It's really good. It's the perfect way to flesh out characters like that. We have found that TV is just infinitely better than movies for most things. Next time they want to introduce a new character, instead of coming out with a Captain Marvel movie, give me

10 episodes. I'm in. I'll watch. I think they're going to introduce some characters in this loki show that will then be part of the thor movie my my and i it isn't my own original idea but um i know kang the conqueror is kind of part of the current storyline that we've got going on with loki and also may be part of the new thor uh film so I hope they do that. I hope they throw in some new characters. Then we get to meet them for the first time in the Loki show. And then they roll that into one of the movies that's coming up. Out of the movies that are coming up, I don't give a shit about Ant-Man. I never have really enjoyed that.

I thought Ant-Man and the Wasp was lame as fuck. Yeah. And I talked to somebody who knows that guy the other day. What's his name? Paul Rudd? Paul Rudd, yeah. I think of Paul Rudd as the nicest guy in the Marvel Universe. Maybe Robert Downey Jr. To me, he seems like the guy who would be

most personable and most actually nice in the real world. They're like, he's the biggest piece of shit. Get out. They're like, he's the biggest piece of shit. They worked with him on the Ant-Man movies. They're like, such a scumbag. Scumbag shocks me. That's different than rude

or impolite or short-tempered. I don't know. Maybe that's one person's opinion. Maybe they just rubbed each other the wrong way. Paul Rudd actually just fucked his wife or something like that. It was a girl. She does work in the Marvel stuff.

She does stunt double stuff. And so she had been in the Ant-Man thing, and she was just like, I've worked with him twice. He's a piece of shit. She said he talks to people like they're baggage or something. I don't remember how she put it. She treats people like they're luggage or something like that. I don't know. He's just talking. She said he like talks to people like they're like baggage or something. I don't remember how she put it. She treats people like they're luggage or something like that. I don't know.

Like they're not people essentially. Like talks down to people. And I was just like, man, he just seems like the nicest guy out of all of them. Like the most down to earth kind of like guy out of all of those people who are in those Marvel movies. Like Robert Downey Jr. seems like he'd be too big time to like really spend a lot of time, like talking to him. He seems super cool. He did.

He absolutely did. But like, you know, he's, he's there with Joe Rogan, right? You know, he's there with a camera.

Exactly. He's there with a guy he respects and he knows everyone's watching. Yeah. I feel like Joe Rogan, uh, in real life. Like if you, if you saw Joe Rogan,

like somewhere in real life and you're like, Hey Joe, I feel like he'd be like cool with you. I feel like he would talk to you. I can see that. As long as you weren't super weird about it. Joe Rogan's only a dick when people are dicks to him. Otherwise, he's pretty nice.

Pretty cool. Yeah, I think so too. Normal guy. Seems like it. His guests now sometimes acknowledge how rich he is because he got that $100 dollar spotify deal and that's changed him from a again i don't know how i call him a superstar right if you want to keep that to the tiniest class of robert downey jr tom cruise and right you know the different chrises then you know joe rogan's not. But now he's kind of paid like one. Now he's a superstar.

Financially, he is. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, so if you use that scorecard, shit. I don't know that Chris Pratt has any more money than Joe Rogan. Maybe less. Chris Pratt does not have $100 million. Yeah, I wouldn't think so. He's about to have a movie on Amazon that's real cool.

It's that movie I talked about a couple weeks ago where uh they come back in time and they're they're like we're fighting aliens in the future we're running out of manpower we're gonna we need you to come with us to the future to fight the aliens like that seems like a cool premise for a movie yeah um i know tucker's got to leave soon uh tucker you want to i know you always like spent a lot of time pimping out all the things you do. Maybe people know where to find you. You can find me still on at Jericho on Twitch.

Yeah, that is correct. Same on Twitter. Pretty much it. Just find me there if you don't already know what I'm doing. Fun as always, guys. Glad to see that you could... Thanks for moving it earlier by the way because i i i like it i i'm still gonna have like more of a day left over in a few

minutes like it's it's great i'm gonna be high for the next six hours you need to finish that off before yeah he acted like it was three days worth of stuff like What does he know? He just sells the shit. Way more than that. More than that, you said? He said that he would get three days out of it. You could get three weeks out of it if you're not smoking all day. It depends how much you want to smoke. I'll tell you what. I smoke

through one of those in a day. No problem. If I wanted to, yeah, but it's still rough. I would be smoking that if I, if I wanted to, yeah. But still rough. I would be smoking this. Later, man. Have a good one. I think he's got a pretty cool deal working with Amazon.

Yeah, I didn't know that. That's a pretty big thing. He, I mean, someone I know saw him on like a billboard or like a bus station printout or something. His presence is bigger than you might guess. Yeah.

He's doing real well over there. By the way, that's a good segue. Have you guys ever been recognized in real life for your... I got recognized two days ago. Really? Oklahoma Auto Zone. Yeah. Okay.

Guy's name was Lorenzo, And I made the worst joke ever. Lorenzo's in the AutoZone. I swear this really happened. And he comes over to me. He's like, what's your name? And I suspected he might know me from YouTube. And I said, Woody. He's like, are you Woody's Gamertag?

Oh, man, I heard your voice. You have this real distinctive voice. I knew it was you, et cetera, et cetera. So Lorenzo's all excited. I'm talking to him for a little while. And Lorenzo's mom comes in the store. She's buying an air freshener for the car. And Lorenzo's like, Mom, Mom, this is Woody.

He's famous. And she's like, I'm kind of famous too. And then I said something close to like, yeah, everyone knows Lorenzo's mom. And I kind of know. I like that. I was like, his mom's a slut. You should have acted like you were taking it real person. Oh, really? What's your clout score?

Let's find out. Let's see. Yeah, it sounded like I was talking to my next box. Your mom's not famous. Yeah. Every now and then. Yeah. I've only had it once actually.

And it really, it was like 2 a.m. And a Walmart. Yeah. Maybe you show your face less. There could be people who listen to your content and don't that and i i don't like this sounds bad but i don't uh when i do go out i go out like to relatively small places i don't go to big places so i'm either staying in the small town or i'm going to like dive bars in ashville and i didn't know what you you know i watched your content for years and i didn't know what you looked like

yeah that's true yeah i i try to pepper in like video commentaries or vlogs or something or like post pictures on whatever but yeah it's just not something where my face is required so a lot people don't fucking know somebody's people there's a thing where people think people that haven't seen me i've gotten this like i'd say a dozen times people think i'm black i knew that was coming from my voice i don't know what that is people are so like like people were like people thought that only using blade was black and they're like don't you hear it in his voice and i'm like no no i don't hear it in his voice like like look i i've got i've got i've got good black ears okay i if a guy's black i know it and i never said i was like no that's a white dude a little heavy set too i can tell like i knew i knew that i knew blake damn from the only time i fucked it up was uh el presidor i thought i thought

el pres was black oh he does well he does come off as black um but but that's because of some of the language he uses you just wouldn't think a white man would feel comfortable saying those words yeah that's that's good point yeah but um yeah it's just uh i don't know why i get that i have no no idea i think i sound like white as white can be but that's just me yeah same yeah yeah yeah i think we all sound very white. White. When you say with the H first, it's fucking white. I always do.

That's how you're supposed to say it. You don't say woo for who. You say who. Both are acceptable, Woody. We've Googled this before. Really? Yep. I'm glad the English language is a prominent topic here.

It's a tentpole topic here, you know, because I do pronounce my H's in white. People make fun of that, but that's literally how you're supposed to do it. I know. You are well aware. I'm aware. You are well aware. Yeah. It's a southern thing it says here.

Whale. Whale. If you live in the southeastern U.S., H.W. is heard. Who, what, and where? It's one of the things we get right. There's three three and this is one of them. Barbecue is one of them?

Yep. Coca-Cola. Pretty good at Coca-Cola. How do you be good at Coca-Cola? We invented it. Did we? Yeah, Atlanta. Okay. In Atlanta, they've got the Coca-Cola world.

You go in, you go through the whole Coca-Cola experience. It's like you pay to be advertised to for an hour and a half. Submitting yourself to propaganda. It's literally like brainwashing. You come out of there and Pepsi makes you vomit. It's absurd. You stand in line to like walk into a vault where they supposedly keep the secret recipe um i i looked at my girlfriend

i was like no fucking way i'm getting that line she's like come on they got they got the recipe in there like no they don't they don't have the fucking recipe in there and if they if they do it's not they're going to show it to us we're going to go in there we're going to look at a safe deposit box i've seen those before i have one I'll show you back home. There's no line. What's in it? Is that what it was? Well, they won't open it, obviously, because the secret recipe is supposedly in there, right? There's a line to it. They must do something.

You walk into a vault. And you look at a wall with locks on it. And that's it. It's like going to the bank, but not even getting to open a safe deposit box. You don't do anything in there. There was a line for that shit. I'm like, i'm not getting that line no i'm like i'm like i'm not and so we didn't and then after that you go into a movie theater and you watch like a pixar uh animation of the coca-cola uh polar bears and it actually made me wish they'd make the whole movie

because like it's like a 10 minute long short um with like you know like the baby cub polar bear getting into some like adventures or or whatever and like sliding down an icy hill hill and like getting involved with some penguins or some shit and then it ends and you're like i want to kind of want to see some more y'all got any more of that polar bear shit and it was like no that's all we made it was just to advertise coke and i was like fuck all right and then you walk down the hallway and you go into this room with like a million soda soda fountains like 360 degrees and you taste all the coca-cola products from around the world and then you quickly realize why you only know about eight of them um they're they we know about all of the good coca-cola products if there there's no scenario

where there's some delicious cola in another country and america just doesn't have the taste for an eighth cola in their life no we've got room for 9 10 20 colas if they taste good the thing is they don't taste good so there's like i don't know cinnamon coca-cola and like some sort of lemon lime shit that's spicy and like jalapeno pineapple soda and like after a while you're just like none of these are good none of them are good and then you walk to a part where they showed like the bottling uh happening like the glass bottles amazing you only get to like watch a small portion of it through a plexiglass window and then they give everybody a bottle of coca-cola and usher you outside how much is the tour i was so high man i don't remember a hundred dollars it's not free though it's i don't remember it being free i think i think it's like a coca-cola experience that we paid for uh and it's right there next to um the the aquarium which by the

way if you're ever in atlanta is the nicest aquarium on the planet, bar none. It is the world's biggest aquarium and fanciest and nicest in Atlanta. They've got sharks and whales. I like aquariums. I go to the Baltimore one. I used to go to a lot. We always root for that one. I thought that was the best one.

$18. $18 for Coca-Cola World, which is not too bad. I've paid $10 for a glass Coca-Cola in a restaurant before, so pretty good deal. We have Cheerwine here. I'm sure Woody's had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have it in Georgia? Yeah, we've got it.

It's terrible. It's so good if you drink it within the first three minutes. After that, it's one of the sodas that goes flat. Like instantly you have to fucking chug that shit. It's weird. I don't know. I like it. If I get it within three minutes,

uh, you can't buy a two liter bottle. You can't let it look like, let it sit at all. Once you open it, it's fucked. You have to drink it like super fast. So,

um, I don't know. I think it's all North Carolina has carolina has soda wise sundrop that we make sundrop um i've had sundrop too i want to say cheerwines like thing is it's a southern legend or something like that yeah that's it yeah and it's just like shit's not good dude not good there's this one soda that they have in the southwest i'm looking for it right now there's this soda in the southwest but i can't find it it's like they make a blue version and maybe a green or red version i don't even remember anymore but but that that was garbage too any soda that you've never heard of is probably not good like like like if you're an american anyway i'm i'm

sure there's some countries that just haven't gotten their hands on Sprite yet, maybe. But around here, you've had all the good ones. Because I like fish, I looked up aquariums and rankings, and it's hard to find one where Georgia's not in first. Atlanta, Georgia is the one. I thought that was going towards a soda.

Since I like fish, I really like that. I enjoy the salmon and cod no it's the atlantic aquarium is legitimately like the best aquarium in the world um unfortunately the last time i went i was so high it was the same day as the coke factory um very high day for me um we would we would like i think we took some edibles but then we would like top off in the car with a bowl we would just smoke a bunch of weed in the car in the parking garage and then go in. And I just remember lots of blue.

There were I think I saw some fish, but I do not remember the Atlanta Aquarium. And I was there for a long time. I plan on going again whenever I'm able to. I want to be your date. I'll go. Oh, I I'm down for an aquarium i don't think there's one here though no it's it's really nice and the only other aquariums i've been to were in i think tennessee and that's it's a low class aquarium smells like penguin shit uh

tennessee's kind of low class anyway so yeah i'm ranked 20th and what i'm surprised it's an aquarium worldwide i would think that like china would have national by the way oh okay okay oh okay if that's fair enough then yeah i've been to one in uh i think it's chattanooga and uh i've been to another one in um maybe it's pigeonigeon Forge or Gatlinburg. I get the two confused because they're so similar. I think there's one in Pigeon. I think it's Pigeon Forge. I want to say.

That's the one I went to there. I had a good time there, but I think it was mostly the company I was keeping and then the fish and stuff they have. Oh, and I went to one in Florida once where you got to like pet stingrays. So that was kind of cool. I've been to one of those where you could.

I think it was in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. That's probably the one. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't touch it. You didn't touch it? And after the Steve Irwin thing, I went to. It was after Steve Irwin. We went to the Cayman Islands.

And I think there's a stingray something. I forget what it's called. Anyway, you swim with them and you swim with like it's hard to estimate how many stingrays there are. A thousand? Three thousand? Like they're all over.

You can hold the stingrays and you can feed the stingrays and you can feed the stingrays and uh you can kiss the stingrays fuck that can you fuck them like jesus i saw what you did but it was pretty neat my whole family and i it was we went on a disney cruise and swam with the stingrays that's cool i can call them caimans i'm sorry i'm gonna i'm gonna do some research on like the shit i can do as a because there's like a lot of places i can't go but i would like to do some research on the shit I can do as a felon because there's a lot of places I can't go. But I would like to do one of those cruises.

You're almost free. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. This is going to be – As a felon, not a – Yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of countries I can't go to and shit. I think I get some special dispensation or something from maybe Canada and Australia.

But I ain't sitting – I was talking to Pwnage. He's Australian. He's the guy with his stepdad has the airplane collection. He was like, it's not so bad. Short little flight. I'm just like, that sounded more British. I'm just like, dude, I'm not sitting on a fucking

20-hour flight. He's like, it's not that far. Somebody Googled it and they're like, it's 16 hours. He's like, well, it's not that far and somebody googled it they're like it's 16 hours he's like well it's not 20 are we quibbling over there between 16 and 20 hours they're like well it's 16 from from la it's it's 21 actually from atlanta he's like oh well shit i guess it is pretty fucking far than that like yeah you're on the other side of the fucking planet in a different hemisphere like like i'm not going to australia i have no reason to go to australia but uh but i would like to maybe go to uh on one of

those cruises that goes to a few different places you would think mexico wouldn't give a fuck about a weed felon i agree yeah as a matter of fact they may have employment for you they might they might although with my record they're probably looking for somebody who uh remember what remember what trump might be looking for someone with experience they're probably looking for somebody who – remember what Trump said about John McCain? They might be looking for someone with experience. They're looking for someone who didn't get shot down. Ah, okay. Yeah.

I do love that quote from Trump when he's talking about John McCain and how he likes veterans who didn't get captured. Yeah, that's one of the many examples, which is hilarious, of just deciding not to be canceled. He said that. The whole world fell on him. And he's like, yeah. Just bam. Anyone who – he didn't try to win over people who he couldn't win over. He didn't bother with it.

And it worked for him. You can't win those people over. That's the thing. If you're coming from where he's coming from, they were never going going to be trump supporters like like they were never going to be part of his his crew so by just not apologizing and doubling down his people were just like oh man i don't i kind of like john mccain but i like that those people really hate what he said about john mccain like like so i like anytime you can get those liberal tears flowing, like there's a big group of people who are just like,

fuck. Yeah. Speaking of liberal tears, my friend, did you watch the basketball game last night? The Sixers game? Yes. I only highlights and stuff afterwards.

I only saw the highlights to the highlights. I saw where Phila fans literally crying. Phila fan was in tears last night. And having Atlanta deliver that kind of whooping to somebody, I mean, it doesn't come close

to making up to what happened to us in the Super Bowl. But if we win, is it tonight? I don't think so. It's either tonight or tomorrow night. And I think it's back in atlanta like but you know yeah i think you're right game six would be in atlanta right if if they if atlanta wins this is going to be kind of a painful little little check mark in the philip fan historium i think i i don't so what our best player is injured

so but he's not so injured. He can't play. He's just what, what this guy is really good at is kind of muscling his way to the rim and getting shots from two feet away. Okay. What he's doing against Atlanta right now is trying to hit three pointers because he's all banged up and hurt in a bunch of different ways.

And he can't like fight in the paint. Like his core competency would have him do and then our best shooter probably is out too for the next two weeks so um yeah philadelphia was not only was philadelphia supposed to win they look at like the historically ranked easiest routes to the finals in nba history and philly's right there. Atlanta, because we had two rounds against teams that suck, and Atlanta was supposed to be one of them, but apparently we suck more. Yeah, and to make it doubly bad, again, I'm not a basketball fan.

I do think that your team's name is awful. Your jerseys are despicable, but I couldn't name a single one. We're no longer friends. I mean, Philly, you know it's dumb. Phila. No, no. This is the mountain I die on. Instead of their jerseys and their court having the word Philly on there for short,

they go Phila, P-H-I-L-A. And it's just like – it's so dumb and it looks so bad. And every time I see a game, I'm just laughing at them. But I guess they were up last night by 20-something points. Going into the last basketball play. In the third, from a Sixers fan, in the third,

Atlanta was down by 26. 26. They came back and won. I guess Philly fan was literally crying. Man, I needed that because my avalanche lost last week. They got knocked out of the playoffs. Golden Knights progressed.

So now all I have is the Atlanta Hawks and Spike to root for. That's it. That's it. Don't feel too confident. Oh, I'm not. I'll get an update on my phone, maybe. I'll forget to even check. But no, I found that interesting.

Did you watch last week's UFC event? I missed it. I only saw the last round of the Nick Diaz fight. What was after that? Stylebender. I think I fell asleep.

Oh, yeah. It was not a good fight. I don't like watching the man fight anyway. Israel Adesanya. What I liked the most was his walkout. He walked out wearing a rice patty hat and a samurai Gungan mask like one of those masks that has like the teeth and everything it was it was all black with like golden teeth and

he had a rice patty hat on and he came out doing kata and it was fucking it was fucking cool he's like a combat character he doesn't organize dances and stuff for his walkout you're not allowed to he just does it anyway and because he's Israel Adesanya, they let him. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty sick. The fight was not great. There was, for the first time I've ever seen it, and I've kind of wondered at times why people don't do it,

but I don't know enough about BJJ or whatever to really understand. But, like, he put a double hand choke on the guy. He was in top position, and he ended up with a double hand choke on Israel did. On Vittori's throat. He didn't hold it for very long, but it was almost like he was kind of alphaing him.

It was more about what the position looked like than how effective it was. Because that choke is incredibly easy to break. Yeah, the guy was down and he was doing some up kicks and Israel was kind of trying to do that dive in and go for a shot and he ended up on top and for

maybe five seconds he sort of held one of these and sort of just like, I don't know, it looked bad. That surprises me. I would think that if a guy put both hands on my neck like that, it'd be a good opportunity for me to hit him. Or go for an armbar maybe or something. Yeah, that too.

Well, if he's in full mount, that's hard. But it was not a good fight. The Nate Diaz fight was, I mean, like the boss man said, Nate's going to start asking for six-round fights because, dude, he came alive in that last round. Hit him with the Stockton slap followed by that left and it was just beautiful.

It was just like, pow! Pow! And all of a sudden, Leon is just like fucking out of it. Leon was so wrecked. And Nate points at it. That, I hated it. Now, look, so Nate points at it. That, I hated it. Now, look, so Nate points at the guy, and I usually love it.

I usually love it because he does this psychological thing where he slaps people. After he gets a good hit, he'll be like, you know what I just did to you. I know it. You know it. Fuck you. And it's in the midst of a fight, which somehow makes that off-limits stuff

within the bounds. It's okay. You can slap in a fight. Gosh. It's a the midst of a fight, which somehow makes that off-limits stuff within the bounds. It's okay. You can slap in a fight. Gosh. It's a fight, right? Yeah. But in this case, there was only like 90 seconds left in the fight. Nate, if you want to win, you don't point at some guy while he's recovering.

Yeah. You hit him again. If he had stormed him right then, if he had just gotten on his fucking bicycle and went like in my head i'm just like move forward move right time's ticking baby like you need to be fucking going you need to be all over this guy swarming like in his face he would have gotten a title shot if he swarmed him right there he was guaranteed a title shot if he went if he won that fight he was gonna although maybe he just didn't want to go fight Usman. He's pointing at him and he's like, you fight Usman. I'm getting paid.

The last fight I saw was I think it was Oliveira winning the title or whatever. Good God, that guy is fucking insanely good as a BJJ guy. Woody, I mean, not me, but as a BJJ guy. Woody, I mean, not me, but as a BJJ guy,

his transitions and how he thinks three or four steps ahead or whatever, it's insane. I've never seen someone so good maybe like Damian Maia, BJJ, but that's about it. He's better at everything.

Yeah, pretty much. Damien Maia lost his fight. Lost me a little bit of money. I think I bet the first fight of the main card was this big fucking white dude against a black guy. I didn't know either of them, but the white dude looked like Leonidas from 300.

I was like, my money's on that guy. Dirty was like, yeah, yeah okay i'll take that the white dude broke the black guy's arm so badly that it bent backwards like at the elbow he armbarred him and just snapped it in two but then the guy's head is he's on his back you know holding the armbar and like the guy's head stuck between his knees so and he hasn't tapped even with a completely broken arm broken backwards. So he's just punching him in the face and in the head with it,

with the dude's head stuck between his knees. And then they stopped it. And when they let him up, like, just like he was holding his arm like this in front of his chest. But whenever he'd like take the hand off and leave it unsupported, it would bend backwards. Like it was the worst arm break I've,

I've, I've seen in memory. I can't remember an arm break like that in memory. It was extreme. Do you remember his name? Shit? No. Black guy.

I was just chanting Leonidas and dirty was chanting black power. And then the guy's arm got broken. And Jamal Hill, maybe, maybe, um, I, I, anitis and dirty was chanting black power and then the guy's arm got broken and uh jamal hill maybe maybe um i i honestly don't remember but uh but it was a real nasty break uh and it it was broken for a while and he was still flexing it backwards i don't know how the guy didn't just tap or why the ref didn't see it and stop it because it was nasty it wasn't one of those fractures where it's like oh they said it was broken it was like oh it's bit backwards in a completely unnatural way like it was dislocated i i was looking it up because i i heard that

afterwards they if i understand this right the announcer said it was broken everyone said it was broken anyone who watched the fight was told it was broken but then like the day or two later when the doctors looked at it it was dislocated yeah and then another guy uh won his fight with like a six second knockout i think just a quick one two knock the guy on his ass unconscious then he climbs the cage and goes to do the backflip celebration and blows his knee out oh do you remember Johnny Walker did that? Yeah, I do. This is bad though. He's just like pointing at the knee. And he gets up

and he has to hop to the center of the ring to get his hand raised. He's all fucked up. Johnny Walker was getting a title shot and he did the worm. You know the dance on the ground? And he hurt his shoulder during his celebration i think i have all the details right and uh he was out for a long time and he's never

really been the same fighter yeah because of the worm you wouldn't catch me doing any fucking celebrations after i just somehow survived and won a fucking hand-to-hand combat match. You know what I'd do if I survived and won a UFC fight? My retirement speech. Yeah. It'd be time for that. Taking those brand new gloves off and leaving them right there in the ring. It was like, here is this pre-lift fight.

You make a big deal out of it. Taking them off. Just put them on. You're 1-0 in the UFC. Perfect record. Then you can just tell your grandkids, yeah, you retired undefeated. They're not going to look it up. I was an undefeated ultimate fighting champion fighter.

You know that. I mean, shit, that would still be something to hang your hat on. If you had even competed, it would be crazy. I'd be so scared to step in there. It's fucking terrifying. Gosh. Yeah. He's so scared to step in there. It's fucking terrifying. He's so scared to step in there

with those fucking monsters. It would be scary enough to do one of these fake fights like Logan Paul or Jake Paul does. Go in there with somebody like Diaz or somebody like fucking that Leonidas motherfucker that took homie's arm and made it look like it's turning J into an L.

No. That's so fucking scary. You just got to hope that you can tap fast enough. We've always done that. Would you fight Brock Lesnar for a million dollars? Yeah, yeah, sure would. Because I know it'd be over quick. And I'm really hoping that he's going to be merciful. You'd be tapping out on the way down, like him taking you down.

My strategy starts in the press conferences, right? When I try to, when I try to win over his friendship. Yeah. You buy him a beer. You're his hype man. I'm fighting.

I'm going to take this moment to talk about Brock Lesnar. One of the greatest, not just fighters, but human beings. Who's ever, look at the man. So good looking. So strong. So powerful. So intelligent.

I'm honored just to step into the ring with him. I hope. I really hope. You know, that is actually... He's merciful to me. That is actually an insane strategy. It's like a Charles Manson strategy or something. Talk him into doing something for you. You're going to get in there

and take a dive and here's why. I got kids. I expect to lose. I'm the one taking the dive. I'm just hoping Brock doesn't do anything awful to me that I can't recover from. He can if he wants. He can give me brain damage if he wants.

He can tear my face apart. I could have one of those lip things like who's the big black heavyweight who had that fucking lip tear that time? Overeem, I think. Overeem. Or fucking Robbie Lawler lip.

You don't want that? That was the best fight. That might have been the best fight. It's top five. Robbie Lawler versus what was the canadian dude's name over training gsp yeah um it's like what they call the canadian zombie or some shit like yeah um i'm blanking too was it in the ufc yeah yeah yeah all right you'll know him.

I know he had some good fights with this guy in Strikeforce. I think it was. Rory McDonald. Wild fight. Should we call it a wrap? Yeah, we should wrap it up. I still got a day left. It's mountain time over here.

Enjoy your week. Smoke it up. Hell yeah, man. I guess so. 5.48.