Painkiller Already - PKA 550 W/ Matt Farah: Bill Cosby Free, Brittany Spears Contained, Home Gym Horrors

Episode Date: July 3, 2021

Painkiller already 550 with our guest Matt Farah Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by a couple of wonderful sponsors, Blue Chew, Lucy, and Smart Mouth. We'll hear more about them later, but we've got the great Matt Farah, the smoking tire back with us, in his ridiculous, probably even more ridiculous setup now, than when you were walking through, giving us the tour. How's that all going? It was like just beginning. I was intensely

interested in your garage tour for those that don't know he has like a i'm gonna i'm gonna make shit up he has like a five-story 1000 parking spot garage somewhere in la maybe i'm putting it in la and uh it was this like big investment for storing anything really but it was a lot of exotic car customers matt how close did i come uh reasonably actually uh it's it's i don't know about i don't know how many stories it is because of the racks but the car it's four levels of car stackers and it's 45 feet tall and we hold 120 cars it's in la it's in playa part of LA. And how's it going? We're sold out. We're totally sold out. So there's different ways to be sold out. You can be sold out by charging $2 a month, or you can be sold out. Tell us more. Fair. 100% fair. I would say

that we did start the business at a fairly aggressive price point. I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously aggressive, but let's just say that I didn't want to have a conversation. I didn't want to get into an argument about price with somebody. I wanted them to, if we got to the price, I pretty much just wanted them to say, yes, sign me up. And so, you know, we got a lot of long-term customers and then we also got a lot of shorter-term customers. And then once we had the initial fill-up, right, then we determined, okay, now it's time to raise the prices to the standard retail level, which we've now done. And then as the shorter-term people leave, you know, 50% of the short-term, half of them are replaced with longer-term people. And then half again, you you know and so we're getting

to the point where we're almost out of short-term spaces but it's cool man it's good if you guys want i mean later in the show i'm happy to to do another walk around if you want another tour of uh what cars are uh in the garage yeah maybe i just i am inspired by people who sort of take a chance right there was a big investment there was you know and it was like yeah and you were looking at post youtube right because it your channel i think has a lot of longevity to it i honestly think that but all you that's true i'm in a very slow decline not a fast all youtube personalities there's a bell curve to it right that's true with me it's true with everyone on youtube is it true with tv shows right friends i don't think sucked at the end more than it did any other time. People have just seen 10 years

of it, and that's enough, according to me. They decided it wasn't. They just did the reunion show. Did you see it? No. They did a reunion. Joey was not able to keep that playboy physique into the 20th century. You know what? Malabon rules, though. He is cool.

Malabon, the person, the human the human is cool i promise you i'm sure okay who is who is was it chandler that every season it was like like he was like on pills or something okay so like he would like he would get it'd be like man he got really fat this season then by like getting the next season it's like he's got his life under control. He's really hitting the treadmill. But he has that really thin but unhealthy look. Something tells me it's not a treadmill. That's how you know which season you're watching

on Netflix. You pull it up, and you look at Chandler, and you go, oh, this was when he was on Oxys. Okay, yeah, that's going to be season six. Yeah, they did a reunion show, and the girls both look great. Like Monica and Rachel. Jennifer Aniston is

age-proof. She is age resistant. Whatever she is made of, I will take fucking all of it. I think she looks better than Angelina Jolie. I do too. At this point, she does. There was definitely a time when those curves were not...

They passed in the night. It depends what you're looking for in a woman. If you're looking for that kinky dirty chick, Angelina Jolie was your one. If you like a wholesome girl you're going to start a family with, it was always Jennifer Aniston. Pick your woman.

Someone else. He did the opposite. He had the kinky sex with Jennifer Aniston. So, pick your woman. He did the opposite, right? He had the kinky sex with Jennifer Aniston and then he had the gigantic family with Wait. What do we know about his sex life with Jennifer Aniston? Well, he had the sex with her but no children. I hear you. I look at Jennifer Aniston and I think this is a woman

who prefers missionary. I don't know. I don't know about that. I'm watching the trailer for the Friends the reunion. I didn't know i don't i don't know about that yeah i'm watching the clip i'm watching the trailer for the the friends the reunion i didn't know they were making a reunion they already made it yeah the intro it shows all of them sitting on the couch and you couldn't be more right the women from the show you're like they've all been staying in shape they've been taking good care of themselves and chandler looks 30 years older than everyone else. Like, even Matt LeBlanc's face is like,

that looks like a guy who went gray really early. Let me guess. But Chandler just looks old. Matt LeBlanc is still on television. He's still got, like, shows going on. You know what I mean? Here's my theory. For a woman to be attractive, she needs to be attractive.

For a man to be attractive, he needs to be rich. Therefore, they're all attractive harvey weinstein had a lot of money i don't know about harvey weinstein got a lot of women that's true i didn't say that's true i didn't i don't know if not is the perfect term. He got them. They have got Matt White in vertical stripes to try and fool you. And they hide him behind others. He's unbelievably fat.

They put him behind the couch. They showed him in Chandler reenacting their classic dual masturbation chamber lean back thing. And it was like, they're just both so heavy. And Chandler looks like he's dying. He has some sort of autoimmune disease. How old are they? We need to establish a precedent on the show that when you turn 50, you can be fed. I think they're probably early 50s.

They're fine. I'm just saying. How old is my old character? Let me just counterpoint with you. Here's a little Hollywood one for you. I was in Beverly Hills the other day, and I saw Jason Alexander from Seinfeld, right? George from Seinfeld.

Thank you. And he was dressed like George from Seinfeld. He was dressed in the exact George from Seinfeld attire. And he looked exact. I I mean he has not aged one day he looks exactly like he looked 30 years ago and still probably has the same wardrobe is he all the way bald yet yeah pretty much no he still had no he had some side he had side hair going on yeah he's uh I know him because he's uh he's big into poker poker. He took his Seinfeld millions. It seems like he got, I don't know, somehow he did better than,

obviously Jerry and Larry David got the bulk of the money, but it seemed like he took care of his money better than Kramer did. Richards, what's his name? Michael Richards? Michael Richards, yeah. Yeah. I feel like he spent a lot of money on like pr firms or something after he dropped that n-bomb at the comedy club

like i think that's where all his money went you have to do much pr no one was googling michael richards at the time it was a problem yeah they were because the issue was like that happened like it went viral months before it was one of the first viral things because camera phones just had occurred or he wouldn't have done it um but but like jerry first major cancellation like viral uh video cancellations he was like properly canceled they didn't properly cancel him though like he came back um to us to some extent because like he went on the tonight show with jerry and i'm sure jerry was like you're coming on the tonight show tonight and you're fucking apologizing Me and Larry are about to make a quarter billion off these got DVD cells And if you want a fucking modicum of fucking money out of this if you want the scraps

You're gonna come on there and you're gonna apologize And he did he comes on and like it's hard for Michael Richards not to be funny. Like, because he's just really, if you watch Seinfeld, he's a comical guy. He can say almost anything and it's funny. Almost anything he says, just whoa. He's just got such a fun way of like communicating. And like, he's on there and he's just, he's trying to be like the straight man and apologize for being, for saying the N word.

And like, and Jerry's. And Jerry's like, I messed up. But the way he said I messed up, it just sounded like a Seinfeld episode. Like he was describing... Like the bass was going to come in. Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. I messed up, Jerry.

Jerry, they say it in their music all the time. I'm trying to be part of the culture. Has anyone remixed it yet? You can't yell at people at a comedy club. They don't like it. And the crowd starts laughing at him. Not at him, but with him because he's just funny. And Jerry's like, don't laugh.

Don't laugh. You guys need to be quiet. We're trying to sell some DVDs here. All right, don't laugh. And it was so awkward and and they must have sold a shit fucking ton of dvds because larry david's house is outrageous it's like everybody loves every single person i've ever talked to like if seinfeld isn't one of their favorite shows they at least admit like yeah it's very funny whereas you know i actually

had a very uh bizarre conversation once a friend of mine dates like really really young chicks like legal but really but young early 20s early 20s and and i he was dating this chick that was born in 1990 something it was like like like 1999 whatever it was she was born after seinfeld was canceled which okay and there's there's stuff that's there's like, I don't really find humor from like the fifties that funny. Like, okay. You know what I mean? It's like different pacing and whatnot.

But I had this interesting conversation with this chick about Seinfeld and she couldn't find it funny. And she had a really specific reason. And it was because she didn't like almost any problem that comes up in Seinfeld could be solved with a cell phone. And she had just no idea what life was like without that type of

connectivity and just couldn't relate to any of like the missed connections. Because you'd be like, no, you just text the guy and this would be solved. It's like this goes on and on. I've heard that said about Friends too. I think there's an episode where they're locked on the guy. This will be solved. I've heard that said about Friends, too. I think there's an episode where they're locked on the roof. Oh, horror movies.

I mean, it's always sunny gets around that by just having none of the characters have a phone, basically. That's been in the cell phone era. And all of their problems, it's just raunchy or Seinfeld. It's like if you texted Charlie, you could tell him not to get the bucket of goat blood from the vendor or whatever it is. You can't because Charlie can't see the way they solve it.

Charlie can't read. They have so many more problems layered that a cell phone wouldn't solve it. Yeah, Charlie was interesting that she was too young. Charlie's dream book is just symbols and pictures he drew with a crayon. What if Charlie can actually read Egyptian hieroglyphics randomly? I mean, I've seen his symbols.

It is not approaching hieroglyphics. It's very special ed child-like. It's interesting stuff. It's a good show. It's one of my favorites. I was watching that last night. They did a good job of, I think it was by season nine or something, they had that episode where they're like,

all of us have gotten so goddamn weird. We're not even exactly like we were 10 years ago. And it's like Dennis went from a weird misogynist to be an out-and-out serial killer. Charlie went from a goofy, rambunctious janitor to an actual retard. Like Danny DeVito, well, I guess he's been kind of bizarre the whole's been pretty consistent actually he's been in the very beginning

because like season two he crawls naked out of the couch right yeah i mean like the very first time he shows up it's like you gotta top this shit every day like wow okay there we go think of where that think of where that show would have gone or wouldn't have gone had Danny DeVito not jumped on. I don't think it would have caught on. I go back and I watch season one and it's okay, but it's like there's an element missing. I don't think DeVito

is the most entertaining character on the show, but I think that the show is not good without him. Yeah, I think I can agree with that. He makes for so many good jokes. I was just watching and Dennis is laying out his plan for the paddy wagon. He's like, Frank, did you get enough sleep last night? You look very tired.

He's like, I got 26 hours of sleep last night. He's like, really? Because you still look quite drowsy. By the end of his presentation, Frank has literally fallen back asleep. 26 hours of sleep last night it's a great fucking show but no seinfeld is it's top three comedy shows of all time for sure and and like i i still have yet to go back and do a full watch through of it um but but but i watched it as it was coming out because like

yeah i was my parents always let me watch like stuff i probably shouldn't have been watching my grandparents were even worse that's why i have such a schwarzenegger fetish i was watching commando when i was five years old turn over to when i was five years old i did commando fucking frame by frame dude i was analyzing every murder in the movie like i'm so ready for commando when i moved to la that movie got real interesting when i started location spotting i'm so ready for commando when i moved to la that movie got real interesting when i started location spotting i'm like they're having a gunfight on catalina what the fuck i love that shit i love that shit so much it's one of my favorite silly movies because it's not

a good movie it's a but it's a it's a schwarzenegger classic it's it's it's so much fun location somebody in la like, I don't know. You drive around LA, and if you watch a lot of movies or have a memory for it, you're like, wait a minute. This is the spot from that scene. This is where Commando was filmed. Those guys are obviously LA is Hollywood. And if you visit it, it's pretty neat to recognize scenes from where things were shot.

And it's weird to see how things are like disguised like strangely like there's this sony office building in culver city that i've seen disguised like three different types of things it's in the running man actually kyle uh you know the scene in the running man where um richard dawson rolls up to the the broadcast studio in that maserati limo the The 80s Maserati limo. It's like this glass pyramid. That's just like the Sony building. I get sushi across the street from that place every day. I look up and just chuckle at it. It's funny.

Another big one is there's a hotel here in Atlanta that Marvel shoots every time they need a futuristic building. It's in the Loki TV show. Is it in Beach Tree Plaza? I think it is. It's the one that has the crazy like interior shot where you can like look up at the elevator coming down and it looks like something from 2001, a space odyssey.

It's wild, but it's in the new Loki thing. It was in a couple of the Marvel film films. They, they, they shoot a lot here in Atlanta. A lot of stuff gets shot here in Atlanta. It's kind of like Hollywood 1.5.

I don't know. I don't think it's quite up to that. Georgia has mad tax breaks right now. Big tax breaks for that. If you watch to the end of the credits and a lot of different stuff made in Georgia. Archer is all made here. Obviously, that's animated, but they do the animation here. Walking Dead, of course.

Walking Dead is done a few minutes from me. I know a lot of people that have been extras on The Walking Dead. It's kind of a thing. Archer is made in Georgia? Yeah, Archer is made in Georgia. This is the whole deal. That's why in the beginning it says

made in Georgia. Yeah. Tax breaks that draw in movies are interesting to me. I've read about them. So making tax breaks to bring businesses in can be smart, right? Because you bring this tax break, Apple comes, and Apple's there for the next 25 years. And it turned out that it really helped your community.

You've got all these great jobs. There are alpha jobs, right? An alpha job is one like an engineer, computer scientist, pharmaceuticals. You hire some dude at 200 grand a year and then all of a sudden that guy is hiring mechanics and restaurants and stuff like that those are the alpha jobs and it makes sense the problem with movie tax breaks is they're there for a couple of weeks couple of months and then they bug out like when you're in north carolina and you get a hunger games we don't have any long-term benefit from that like we would

if Google moved in. But they're doing it anyway. I think partly it's because they just fucking like it. They just want to say that people are filming in their city. It's neat that Marvel filmed in your city. Yeah. Canada is big on the

tax break thing. I don't remember where it is in um canada that all like all the x-file shit was filmed vancouver like everything's in vancouver that makes sense because you can make vancouver it's like a really small city if you've never been there i can't recommend it highly enough it fucking rules great town to party in great town to eat drink and party um but it looks like from this side it looks like it could be downtown LA from this side. It looks like it could be part of Chicago from right here. It looks like New York city,

you know, it's got all these. And if they need to be in the, if they need to be like out in the woods, chasing like a lizard monster, yeah. It's like 20 minutes away. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. My bachelor party. I like that so much better like i like that so much better than when they go 45 minutes outside la to that desert canyon and it's just like all right i i that's little house on the prairie that's star trek the original series that's yeah like that's 2001 space odyssey over there. Bro, I see fucking the Malibu. That's where I film the stupid Todd commercial. Like when it came time for me to film a stupid thing.

Oh my God. You know how many times I've seen the fuck? It's like, wait a minute. Wait, they're supposed to be in the jungle. Why does that look like Agora? Like what the fuck? All of MacGyver. Dude, MacGyver was like, bro, I used to love MacGyver so much when I was a kid.

And I went back and tried to watch season one and it is absolutely unwatchable. Not only is it globally, they substitute the Malibu area for everything, for everything. And then on top of that, I swear to God, god it's so bizarre i don't know how they got away with doing this like 80 to 90 percent of the show is voiceover like it's straight voiceover and like random b-roll it's like yes it's so weird i haven't watched season one maybe by the last season they they got some money and are you is it voiceover people talking or voiceover and you don't see it? No, it's MacGyver. It's MacGyver narrating a story, but it's just like, you know,

a shot of a helicopter flying over a jungle. And he's like, me and Petey were there in the war doing this and this and this. And it's like that goes on. That takes up like this much. And then there's like this much actual like that takes up like this much and then there's like this much actual macgyver like doing things and then it's like back to some crazy voiceover it's just wild that this show got made like this i think that his tricks got a little repetitive like the guy always carried a bubble gum and aluminum foil in his pocket a paper clip and they always locked him in his supply closet like oh come on but imagine the writer's room though

wouldn't it be fun i mean imagine just sitting around getting high and going all right what are we gonna make this fucking guy do macgyver needs a bong and all we have is an apple and a ballpoint pen are there any shows like that now like where it's just the same shit every week like like just repetitive serialized nonsense. Like, does that exist anymore? Obviously with like, uh, like police dramas,

right? Like, like Lauren or SVU, you know, that formula like, like, all right. Terrible sex crime at the beginning.

All right. We think it's this guy. It's obviously this guy, right? No, it's not. He's probably done something, but he didn't actually do what we think. And then the way, but a B-list actor has appeared. It's definitely him. It's obviously this guy, right? No, it's not. He's probably done something, but he didn't actually do what we think.

Oh, but a B-list actor has appeared. It's definitely him. Is that Matt LeBlanc? Matt LeBlanc's the rapist. At the end of the intro sequence when it says special guest star, it's like, that's him. That's the rapist. Yeah.

He's the diddler. I was fucked up. I swear to God, is that me and my wife watch every single episode of fucking SVU. It's really embarrassing. It's a good show, man. I watch. It's garbage now. They're really, everything is reaching.

They're reaching for quads everywhere. Is it still going on? Oh. Really? I forget which actor it was, but it was a Law & Order. It might have been the original Law & Order. And one of the actors was like, man, I feel so handcuffed. This job, it just keeps going on and on and on.

And it's the same gig. I want to go on and do new shows and new movies and et cetera. And there was an older actor. I think the older detective was like, nope, this is perfect. I have jobs. Are you telling me I'm going to be working as an actor forever i just know what to do a city in the city i live in he was just like my quality of life has skyrocketed he didn't feel like there were a bunch of other people dying to hire him so he's this is it this is my jam i'm

happy here i like this guy like i didn't know his name so i looked up big ear svu actor his name is richard belzer the guy with the conspiracy theory yeah he's best known as detective or investigator john munch and it's like yep that's it's just that guy it's like every new show it's like all right who do you want me to be well you're going to be the same belzer actually you know that character was created for homicide and then he was brought to regular law and order and then he was brought to fucking svu they kept that dude on forever and he basically just played himself just a guy ranting about conspiracies yeah you know what i a lot of those shows have rewatch ability like i can watch svu and i can enjoy it but um what i can't do is nypd blue like i go back and watch try to watch nypd blue and i'm like these fucking fascist pigs these are the worst cops imaginable these are

the guys dude elliot stabler at svu is like you fascists like what are you doing like beating people up like this i've've never seen NYPD Blue. It's just a rougher police show. It's the one with Sipowitz in it, the overweight cop who's the tough guy and he's not a very good-looking police fellow. I hate when they cast Danny DeVito as the toughest cop in New York,

but carry on. Sipowitz looks like a big boy. He's a step away from DeVito. I'll tell you what, Michael Chiklis is... He's DeVito at 140% increase scale. Yeah, he's DeVito with his stats turned up, but he's still DeVito. And the best part is they hook him up with the hottest chick in the

show, and even he is like, they write it well, though. He's like, come on, what do you want with me? What do you want with me? Go out there and live your life. Go get a good-looking guy. That's you know doing something, you know, I'm a fucking Street cop, you know, I'm a detective you don't want anything to do with me Plus I'm also like 60 pounds overweight Polish bald man come on. That picture is the most flattering.

I was about to say, so this show is from like the nineties, I think. Yeah. And I saw this guy and thought he was impossibly fat. Like, how does he even move by today's standards? He doesn't even stand.

He's a little smell. Tony Soprano was not that overweight by today's standards honestly like yeah and it's like the joke of him being overweight he's like shoving salami in his face and it helps like it's not even free like in any soprano scene he was never more than like the third fattest italian in the world that helps like it's like bobby bacchiari comes in and suddenly tony's like looking well you know maybe he started jogging because bobby like is like like when when they had the scene where bobby and and uh tony are fighting there

are parts watching that like as i know they're acting where i'm like bobby's gonna fucking hurt himself man like you What are you doing? You're like, you know you can't actually reach that far over with your bulbous center of gravity. You know what I mean? I saw on my honeymoon recently, I saw there was this very heavy woman walking in the waves. Just not ankle deep, mid-shin deep. And she was heavy enough. And I'm like, you shouldn't have anything but stable ground under you.

And it was as though I thought it into being. She just goes, ah! And just drops like a log into the water. It's like, mmm, mmm. And I was like, oh. Well, I'm glad someone's going to help you. Because I'm going back to the food bar. Yeah, my third dish of jerk chicken just arrived. So I'm glad someone's going to help you because I'm going back to the – Because it's already been one day. Yeah, my third dish of jerk chicken just arrived.

So I'm going to get that. No, but that NYPD blue was like peak like broken windows, policing, clean up the streets, turn Times Square into Disney World. Like that was what was going on in like New York at that time. It was like – It's super racist. It's kind of almost fashionable to be that going on in New York at that time. It was like almost fashionable to be that fascist in New York that time. That's an interesting take.

When I first heard the broken windows thing, it made perfect sense to me. For those that don't know, the broken windows theory is this. If you see an abandoned building, for example, and it's intact and it looks like it could be occupied tomorrow, then people tend to be like, oh, that's a nice thing. We won't wreck it. You break one window and in no time, the rest of the windows are broken and the doors kick down. And now it's

a junk building that is almost public property. So the idea was to keep everything nice and go nuts with that. And I heard it and i was like oh that makes a lot of sense even i have like at least young woody would somewhat have that mentality like if the windows are broken and the doors kick down well then i'm allowed in right yeah yeah it does make sense if you ignore what is done to the humans there are like uh abandoned buildings like log houses if you can picture where there's no door the windows are gone and they're tilted a little and it's i'm like i can go in right like this this is an interesting structure to me out here in the middle of nowhere why is this building leading at 30 degrees is that the way the wind

predominantly blows but if it was locked up i would never think of entering someone else's building yeah we should make the criminals replace the the the windows and now we've got we take them out like a weekly field trip they love it they're outside you i don't know where i'm now the carpentry tools yeah like inmates they take them out and they're like, you're going to be productive. Yeah, worked well. You guys were quadruple well-behaved, so you're off the license plate line. You get to use a hammer or something. That's a dangerous gambit, but

shouldn't have started with the murderer's ward. You should have went for the blue-collar tax evaders first, except they wouldn't have known how to fix anything. Yeah. Ruining it. Yeah. What else is going on?

I'm going on a motorcycle trip around the country. Get the fuck out of here, really? Yeah, so I started in Raleigh. That's where I live. And then I took the southern states, like Mississippi, Arkansas, Colorado, all dirt roads, up around Boise. Now I'm in Wyoming, sort of on the way home. Oh, you're like on this trip right now.

Yeah, I'm in a hotel room. Oh, yeah. What are you riding? So I started off the trip with the BMW G650 GS. It's their smaller adventure bike. And then in Boise, my friend got a new motorcycle. He was on an XR650L, a Honda. It's almost like a big dirt bike for those that don't know their motorcycles.

And I never looked at that bike and thought, oh, that thing's nice. Not once, not once. And it was practically a two-stroke by the time we got to Boise, it drank so much oil and he was getting a new motorcycle and went in rome you know so now i am on a ktm 890 adventure r oh wow yeah you bought a new motorcycle yes yeah i think this might be the first year it's out and you trade in did you just straight trade your other bike at the at the dealer yeah i mean i'm in boise i don't have like i can't just ride two bikes home or anything no no i know but like you know maybe you shipped it home or something like that i don't know i hear you but no i traded it in so um cool uh yeah so uh today was like a non-travel day oh that's my new bike yeah that's what it looks like motorcycling is such a funny thing it's like you know it's the idea that The idea that if you were

in a car and you left your house to go on a road trip in one car and came back in another car, that would be extraordinarily strange. On a motorcycle, it's not actually the first time I've heard that story. Those kind of things.

When someone buys a new motorcycle mid-trip. I love it. We were in the O'Reilly parking lot yesterday doing the 600-mile service. Oh, my God. It's been cool. Today, it was a non-travel day. I had to wait for – You were riding off-road?

Well, yeah. Up through Lake Boise, we were. And on the way back, it's been more on-road. Now, as a non-travel day, I was free to do whatever I want today. So I did like 40 miles just out there. Here's what happened. The Harley You rode your motorcycle on your non motorcycling day? I like

it. Yeah. So I use this Harley dealership as a place to drop ship because you hardly know where you're going to be like a week out. I needed some rain gear. So they had a Pan America there that you could demo. That's their new adventure. Yeah. I had a go on it. Yeah you could demo that's their new adventure yeah yeah yeah all right so we'll circle go ahead you first i was like dude so people you just let people ride

this and they're like yeah and they think i'm like the super experienced rider because i'm on this trip and and uh um so i took it out i took it like nine miles up the road and then i there was a off-road thing like i went to the top of this mountain and i'm in wyoming you can see forever it's just high desert all the plants are like 18 inches tall and that's how they sell bikes if it was a fucking day later you might have been riding a harley right now instead of riding a ktm you're a smart man yeah it could have been i liked it i liked it a lot i think harley has a winner on their hands when i saw pictures of it on the internet it didn't super appeal to me

but when i sat on it and rode it and took it off road and like it how much starts i think it's in the high teens 22 i'm not looking at that i'm not looking to jump that that deep it's also a leader bike it's not not the first bike you'd want to get. It's a big, yeah, no, I wouldn't have it as a first motorcycle, but I had it for three weeks, and I put about 1,000 miles on it, and it was fucking bitching. I mean, I was really impressed. If you took the stickers and the badges and stuff off of it,

and it didn't say Harleyley on it you just brought it somewhere it could be an aprilia it could be a moto guzzi i mean it could be not quite a ducati but it could be any medium high level ktm you know any medium high level adventure touring motorcycle that is very nice yeah let me talk for a second so the one i'm sorry go ahead no no it's cool i just i'm just excited so um it has suspension when you're parked it's two inches shorter and when you're going less than five miles an hour it's two inches shorter which is nice like it it's cool to have your feet a little closer to the ground a little lower center of gravity when you're getting on and off the bike or when you're at the gas station. But then when you're riding, it gets taller.

And that's a really neat thing. It has adjustable... I've never heard of a bike that had that. It has all the latest gadgets with navigation built into it and phone integration and stuff like that, like a car would. People think Harley is this laggard in technology, but I think they're off target there. What it is is Harley customers are laggards in technology. So years ago, Harley was doing like the water-cooled modern bike. It didn't sell. So then Harley came up

with a straight up electric motorcycle. It didn't sell. Now Harley has this Pan America thing and it looks like it might sell. Everybody seems to to love it they may have a hit this time but um this idea that harley is like stuck in their old ways no they just make those two so that they actually can turn a profit don't they make a lot less horsepower per like cc though compared like yeah the old bikes do but there's also different math involved on that. So the displacement is calculated differently with a cam and block motor versus an overhead cam motor in the same way that like a Corvette and a Mustang. Mustang has dual overhead cam. Corvette has cam and block. The displacements aren't quite one-to-one.

I didn't know that. Yeah. quite one-to-one. I didn't know that. Yeah, you just, it's, when you go, oh, the Corvette makes 600 and, you know, it makes 495 with 6.2 liters and the Mustang makes 526 with 5.2 liters, therefore, and it's like, well, the calculation for displacement, because when you have dual overhead cam, there's physically, like, more room in the head. So it's like it's there's just it's just it's different like how it works but but but go on with panamera sorry

oh it makes sense but it anyway yeah so harley's doing a lot of high-tech stuff if we can just get harley customers to buy the high-tech stuff too then you know they can change their reputation but yeah it was a really cool bike and then afterwards i like these trails so much i took my own bike up there and uh my bike is more off-road capable than the pan america so i was like all right we're gonna go from these dirt roads to these like two track and then the two track got so thinned out that it was basically like i i'm not sure if i'm on the trail anymore and then i'm clearly not on the trail anymore. And I can't find the trail behind me. Like turning around is barely an option, but I have a GPS and there's these brown lines in

front of me. So I'm like, well, I'll go to the roads and then I'll just not be lost. And it's like, I don't know what they're talking about. And I go to the next one and then I, they're talking about dried out creek beds. These aren't roses as This isn't civilization. I am just, there's no hope of finding where I came from. And I'm so lost. And there's like, oh, there's an actual road on the other side of that mountain. I need to do a hill climb that is hard for me. First attempt failed. And then I found a better line 10 feet over, made it, got to the top of that hill climb, found some two track, got back in.

But I was like, I hadn't planned on doing this. I don't have any tools. I don't have any tire repair kits. I'm like 20 miles into this desert with like just the water I brought with me on my back. And it was a little concerning at its peak. But type two fun, man. I came back and was like, that was fucking awesome. My wife has a saying, fun is best when it's over.

Then I found my way back, and I was just loving my bike and how she got me out of trouble. That was her first time. That's cool, man. Yeah. Yeah. But that Pan America is, is a, is a really nice motorcycle. And that kneeling suspension thing. I mean,

you, you actually described it most of the way. I think you, you, it basically, it is a, it is the first motorcycle you touched on it, but you,

you, you were right. It is the first motorcycle to have production motorcycle that has touched on it, but you were right. It is the first production motorcycle that has a fully adaptive suspension, meaning not just a firmness adjustability, but a fully electronic and automated height adjustment as well. No other production motorcycles ever had that. So what they use it for is not only your different ride modes like you can put it in sport plus for for uh carving canyons on tarmac and it lowers it down for a better center of gravity but but as you come to a stop the bike and drops down so that you can put your flat feet

on the ground uh at the light and then as you accelerate, it rises up so that it's at the proper height. And it will do that over and over. And it's really, really cool because it's a totally seamless process that the rider does not have to be involved in. And also this is, you know, this engine, the one thing you can tell right on the surface that this is a new type of Harley, all those old school Harleys, like the Harleys, the engines are calculated in cubic inches.

Pan America's engine is calculated in cc's. It's the first ever Harley where they put the cc's on the side. Listen, the metric system is here. It's a lovely I'm like, listen, the metric system is here. Okay. I wonder if the nuts and bolts are retro. I don't know. I didn't check that one out. I didn't check that one out. But I do have a video review of it on my channel.

Do you? Okay. Yeah, I really liked it. If anyone's interested in my freaking 12-mile review, I know he went 1,000. But it made a really positive impression. Also, the Harley. I hadn't been to a Harley dealership before. So I go to a lot of impression. Also the Harley, I hadn't been to a Harley dealership before. So I go to a lot of them. Oh, remind me to tell my raincoat story.

But I go to the Harley dealership and everyone's really nice. When I go to like a metric bike, like a Suzuki dealership or something, They're more like sales vultures. They're nice, but they're on you. If you say, no, I'm just looking, the next guy's there 90 seconds later. They're just all about that commissioned kind of service. The Harley dealership, they just seem sweet. They were interested in my ride. I don't think they work on commission. There were a lot of women employed there. That just seemed like, especially if I was a woman, I would find that to be much more comforting. They were just

fellow motorcyclist chicks as opposed to a really male-dominated place where I bought my bike. I totally agree with you. When I had that Pan America, I got it right after the launch, the big launch event, which was a dirt event. So after that event, they take apart the motorcycle to totally clean it.

They put it back together to give it to people like me. So I'm not getting a bike that's like got dirt all up in the engine and shit. So they give it to me. But it turns out the person that put it back together didn't quite plug the fuel line thing in far enough. So the first time I hit a bump, it jolted it and it just stopped delivering fuel. So I coasted to the side of the highway, which was annoying, right? It's not the bike's fault.

It was a human's fault, but whatever. I wasn't on the side of the road for 20 seconds when a guy on a harley pulled up need any help not 60 seconds after that a woman on a harley pulled up need any help and i mean it was like they were just so nice friendly like they didn't they didn't know i was on a harley they didn't know i had you know like and that those people got the flatbed from bartell's harley davidson that was a mile away and and uh and got him to come get me and it was just like i totally agree with you like remember that old saying like you meet the nicest people on a honda like turn out that's true on a harley also you know like so here's my raincoat story i'm at the harley dealership and i't like that. The reason today was a non-travel

day was because I was waiting for a shipment to arrive. And that just feels like that kind of sucks. And, and so yesterday I'm looking at like raincoats and over shell that you'd wear. Um, I was like, I could just buy another one and then we wouldn't lose a day of travel. So I'm checking them out. I have a preference for the brighter things. Here, look. Yeah, visibility is good. You don't want to wear all... People who are all black on a motorcycle, you're going to fucking die, man.

This is a coat and jacket. I will look like a highlighter driving down the road. You are an actual highlighter. You are like a fucking... You're going to make other motorists crash so fish will literally jump out of lakes at you that's a hilarious thing i'll concave a whole suit of concave mirrors and you're just i'm standing everyone

the cars with the chrome wraps i refer to those as fishing lures so i'm sort of flipping through the raincoats on the on the shelf and uh the lady's like hey you know do you need any help and i'm like no no these are good these are good and like i'm just checking out seeing if you have my size and uh they're orange but they're just as bright and she's like are you sure you don't need a hand and i'm like i'm looking at women's clothing aren't i and she's like, are you sure you don't need a hand? And I'm like, I'm looking at women's clothing, aren't I? And she's like, yeah. That happens to me more than you might guess. Very good.

Yeah, there's a picture of one of those young gymnasts from the Olympics standing there proudly on a poster. What is it, a seven? Whose size is clothes like that? It would be kind of cool and subversive if you continued your road trip on this austrian ktm motorcycle but wearing full harley davidson gear that would kind of be fun and weird you were this close yeah that was it was orange it said harley on the back i'm like i don't care harley's cool i'll wear So, but apparently it only comes. Nice people though, huh?

Yeah. Really nice people. And look, I'm sure they work on commission or something, but they just didn't seem vultury like every other dealership I've ever been to. You know what? You know what I think that is? I think that people who set foot in that dealership already either are you know harleys are so different you know and there's such in their own world except pan america pan america accepted the old school harleys you know i don't think they have to try very hard i think i think people come in there kind of knowing that they want to buy a motorcycle and it's gonna be a harley they just don't know which one fits them. And I think that's probably good for them, you know?

Yeah. Oh, I am in the reddest state in the country and I'm finding that entertaining. Right. I walked into a diner and they sold T-shirts that said guns are like potato chips. You can't have just one. There were flags all over the walls, 9-11 newspaper

clippings framed, all sorts of Patriot stuff, maybe some Trump stuff. Why post such an L? I know. Why not D-Day or something? Why would you pick 9--11 that's fucking retarded I see where you're coming from

like some American getting blown the fuck out in boxing by a giant Russian guy why at the Harley dealership it said concealed carry is welcome if the need arises good markmanship is appreciated

and I'm just like, yeah. Appreciated. Not even required. Appreciated. Like, it's a totally neutral thing if you take out a bystander. Like, it's like...

You shouldn't have been standing so close to danger. Yeah. I like the traveling. And traveling by motorcycle, man. So I think that, especially with my last bike where it was more dirty, you pull up, you're covered in mud, your bike's covered in mud, and you've got luggage hanging off the side. Everybody talks to me. At this point, maybe I'm an asshole.

I'm almost trying to be unapproachable. Because it's like, no no i'm your entertainment what do you need the story of my travel the highlighter outfit will help yeah maybe that'll keep them away people will leave you alone and bees will try to pollinate oh no shit you know that's a product i don't know about on suits, but whenever I am, whenever I get a press car, like a car to test and it's like yellow, I go, Oh boy, fucking here we go. Because that joint is a magnet for bugs. And when it gets real hot in California, like in the summer, you know, you're going to film or something and you're up on a mountain, it's 105 degrees.

And that yellow paint is 150, 180 degrees. And these bugs just land on it and just instantly just kind of sizzle. It's just so annoying. I didn't evolve for this. So gross, yeah. They didn't teach me about Audis. I didn't know it would get that hot. So it would just, like, melt bugs.

You just have a bunch of borderline melted bugs? Can I tell you guys something funny about it since the last time I got on your show? I'm sponsored by a weed company, and I'm paid to exclusively smoke Tradecraft Farms Ganja. That's awesome. Congrats. And I get all the free weed I could possibly smoke. I get all of these weed I can possibly smoke. I get all these and I get money.

I literally am sitting on a cup of fire right now that they just hang me along with a big envelope. Dreams can come true. Dreams. So you're just walking around your giant exotic car warehouse ripped off your ass just like, that one's pretty tight.

How do I get it to you? Because I have other people parking the cars. I don't have to. I could be ruling. I could be king of the castle up here on the second floor. How does it arrive? I mean, they don't mail it to you, right? It's grown locally.

I go to downtown. I get it at the grow op. That would make sense. Okay. I ride my Vespa to Sk skid row go past several thousand tents and uh park behind a gate and where there's people with guns and i get big bags of chronic so you're not just doing the you're not just doing the oil pens you're smoking the regular flour i can't i can't yeah yeah no i prefer flour but i can't i can't't I don't know if I could actually smoke inside

right now, but my contractors put a fucking fear of God in me about it. They pretty much were like, I wouldn't try if I were you, you know, kind of thing. So those are for, I don't want to like, I could bring the computer outside. We just start fucking blazing. I like golden joints. I literally

have joints that are wrapped in gold. It's hysterical. I've smoked those before. Kyle is dying over there right now. I literally have joints that are wrapped in gold. It's hysterical. Kyle is dying over there right now. I've got 92 days. I'm on federal probation. I've got 92 days, 4 hours, 6 minutes, and 27 seconds before I can get back on the clock.

You got a countdown clock? Yeah, I got the William Wallace freedom counter here. Oh, shit. 92 days? 92 days, 4 hours, 6 minutes, and 12 seconds. October the 2nd, I am on an airplane heading

toward Denver. I am staying for at least a month. I've already rented a house. I've got a five-bedroom house rented. I've got a bunch of buddies coming out. All you're going to do is smoke weed and do all sorts of fucking activities that are fun on weed um we're gonna go skydiving we're renting um we're going to one of those places where you can

like rent an entire miniature zoo so they're gonna bring like lemurs they're gonna bring like lemurs and capuchin monkeys like for a children's birthday party yeah like for a children's birthday party they're gonna bring monkeys and shit to the house and we're going to play with the monkeys. I'm going to hire a clown. They bring it to you? Yeah. It's Petting Zoo on the move. Petting Zoo brought you.

I'm going to try to get them to let me go for a pony ride. I'm doing everything silly I can. We're going to sword combat classes on edibles. And I'm hoping that we get some... You have really been plotting the fuck out of this. For so long.

I recommend axe throwing. 100% you must do it. You do that there. You gotta do it. My girl, my wife, got me blacksmithing lessons for my birthday. Are you calling your yourself the same person

the way you said it i just was tired of saying the word wife and this was before we were married i started to say girlfriend and then and then converted uh because we're married now but she got me blacksmithing lessons too and i made a fucking dinner triangle that's fun as hell you're just swinging hammer it's great making sports how long did that take like were you just there for a day and they're immediately like, all right, get going. Build what you want to build, and I'll show you. Bro, you want to – it's one of those things where, you know, the pro just makes it look so – you know, you go down there to this big forge,

and there's this dude who's got a right arm that's like this, you know, and a left arm that's like this, you know, and a left arm that's like regular, you know, and he, and this motherfucker goes, okay, we're going to make, you know, a dinner triangle and I'm going to demo it for you. And this dude makes one start to finish in about 15 minutes. And you go, okay, well, how long is that going to take me? And he goes, well, I'm swinging a three kilogram hammer which i later would learn is absolutely superhuman and and i and i and he goes you guys are going to be swinging a one kilogram hammer and and so this dude makes the thing and he goes it's probably gonna take you guys about three hours it took us like six and a half hours by which by the end of which i could no longer feel

my upper body wait are you there with a group of other people? And so it's like a craft thing where you're looking over like that fucking bitch. His triangle is coming along faster and better. At least I'm beating Cindy, though. It was. I didn't want to go. Well, I wasn't saying that bitch because it was my wife who got me the thing. And she was right there next to me making a dinner, making her dinner triangle.

But it was her and me and two of my friends. So we got a private class. She was right there next to me making a dinner, making her dinner triangle. But it was her and me and two of my friends. So we got a private class like Kyle's talking about, but they don't come to you. You have to go to their forge. You just take a straight piece of stock, put two bends in it, and now you've created a triangle. What am I missing? No, it was a little more than that. So there's a main triangle and then a clanker right and so the main triangle you'd start with a uh square rod and you'd put these twists in it to make it

look like you ever see like a rod iron gate that's got the twists you're sure you'd make make the twists and then you'd make the bends and it had to have this like sort of loop-de-loop thing on top of it to hang it from something and that's all from one piece so if you fuck it up you got to start from a fresh piece so that takes kind of a while and then the clanger is another one that was just a straight piece with a looper around it and then a thing kind of welded to the end of it and with a one kilogram hammer like you just have to hit it way more fucking times than you do with it. Cause it was just not that much mass. And,

um, you know, try the three kilogram hammer. Oh my God. I got like four swings, five swings. And I was done. I mean,

the number of times you've got to swing this hammer is, is deep, deep in the hundreds. I'm five, 600 swings. We're talking about with these hammers. This guy was an animal. He didn't do any balancing work, so he was just jacked as can be

on the right side. He should be firing off some left-hand curls late at night. He's like a Homer Simpson style arm wrestling champion. He shows up to the left like, come on, let's go. They're plunking the money down i did not tell you i am not a legend no but if you could find blacksmithing classes while you're out in colorado like it was really fun it was a lot harder than i expected but it was it was a good time that's a really fun you

get some glass blowing too maybe yeah i'm not into that um i want to do like like like things that it's okay to be stoned while you do them and maybe better but glass blowing set like what if i forget inhale like i just dropped dead instantly with you just but you said you want to go real sword fighting it's like the opposite of coughing into the bomb long coughs into you yeah they're not they're not real swords they're like uh like bong coughs into you. Yeah, yeah. They're not real swords. They're like heavy plastic or something. And you wear like full protective gear. Like you've got like...

They make gear for that. I thought you were going... Like those videos you showed me of like Icelandic people who get really into those contests. I'm like, you shouldn't do that sober, much less stone. It's like, it's just some Igor, some six foot eight guy swinging at Sven, some 6'10 guy with a real sword.

Weren't they wearing suits of armor? Yeah. You see them swing and get hit in the head. As a child, you remember being like, armor, it's impervious. Then you see the sword go away and there's a huge dent and the guy takes it off and he's bleeding. There's no money in it.

Armor's not good. Basic football uniforms are better than fucking medieval armor. Old armor kind of sucked. It was good for what it was defending against, though, right? For the longest time, there was nothing that could pierce that shit. You were a walking tank.

Pierced it, but I'm afraid that if you hit my head that sheet metal's not an effective like yeah well why make it worse well that's why a lot of those guys would carry around those hammers it's like a it's like a weird like two and a half foot long hammer and one side is like per like like flat and knurled and the other side is a point right it's basically like a meat mallet and then they would also um they would the night the knights would also have those long slender daggers that could make their

way through the joints of the armor to like go for kill shots like under the armpit and stuff yeah that was not a fun fun time to be alive of course you could have been your thought process is you see that knight over there i'm gonna take this mallet and make half as much room inside of his helmet right now. Like, fuck. I know medieval times, what was the breakdown? Everybody didn't have really nice-ass plate metal. No, no, no. You were rich.

You had the plate metal. But if that guy got to the front lines, was it like the book Woody and I are reading, The Shardbearer, where you get hit with a regular sword, and unless they find a nice little groove, was it like the book Woody and I are reading the shard bear where like you get hit with a regular sword and unless they find a nice little groove, it's like, Oh, deflected. And now you're dead because you were wearing a bullshit burlap sack.

So just swords alone at certain points were like prestigious, expensive items. Right. So like the, the suits of armor, those guys are riding around in Maseratis. Okay. Like,

like those are the richest noble, noble families that can afford to get that armor made. I prefer my box suits. Only my box suits. I like the mauler. Fair enough. It's got to be leather and suede line, two-tone. And then you've got men at arms who are wearing mostly leather. It's mostly leather they're wearing.

Maybe they've got some chain mail. They're wearing jerkins. Yeah, leather jerkins. They've got those little cloth hoods on, and they're lucky if they've got a real fucking sword. It depends when you go, but if you're talking about when the English were invading France, the premise of that movie The King, I think, on Netflix,

that big battle they had where they beat the French, where they lured them into that field that was soggy. It was like a plowed field. It had rained the night before. And it's like a crazy, cool tactician's video you can watch on YouTube about how the English king

noted that it looks like it's going to be rain. Wow, predicting rain in West Operation Skull and Boots. If it doesn't rain, they're destroyed. And so the English just sit there and wait on the French to come to them, and they're so bogged down that they can't move quickly enough. And the English are just raining arrows on them the every soggy step they're taking and holding the line and they defeated like multiple

waves of men at arms and a huge amount of cavalry even though they're outnumbered it's it's said i think four to one something like that like like i don't know 3200 to eight or something like that the numbers are kind of fuzzy because it's so long ago but they ended up defeating the french at that battle it was a it's a pretty cool youtube video or you could just watch the movie which is a little bit more stylized um a little more fun because it ends with the french king it's called the king i think it's on it's on netflix at the end the king uh the French king is played by... He's a really good actor, but he was the Twilight guy, right?

You know, the good... The Pattinson? Oh, he was in the Lighthouse. Yeah, Robert Pattinson. He does a great French accent. Like, the English king shows up, and the English king shows up to the French camp before the battle, and he's like,

we should hand... There's no need for all of our men to die here on this battlefield. Why don't we, you versus me. And if I lose, no Englishman will come back for a hundred years. And if you win, then, or if I win, then when your father dies, I will be ruler of France. Like, I'm not even saying I take over now. Like, that seems fair, right? And he's just in this snooty French accent, like just

you are here to surrender to me? You will surrender! And he's just like screaming, surrender! Surrender! He's like, no, I'm not going to surrender. That's not what this is about. Fight me or die. And at the end of the battle, they're all fighting and rolling around in the mud, and the French

king rolls up in a black suit of the slickest armor you've ever seen and like does some like kata with the knight with with his blade and then falls in the mud when he tries to like rush the english king and he can't do anything because it's so muddy and then english king just nods at his men and and like eight like regular dudes just come in and beat the dog out of the front it's a great way to end a movie it's it's fun he's got that murdered out i think French girl. It's a great way to end a movie. It's fun. He's got that murdered out suit of armor. Does he get a French girl or something at the very end?

Do I have this right? That sounds more like Braveheart or something. I don't think so. It's been a little bit since I've seen it, though. Yeah, I forget the details. Anyway. Oh, do you want to talk about Loki? I was going to say I wouldn't sit on that suzuki like that's the other thing i'm considering doing with my um uh when i get off probation like i've already booked

the flight but i was thinking maybe if my probation officer would let me i could just buy a fucking motorcycle and ride that thing all the way to denver and like get there as i'm getting free like like plan the trip that way and that. And it could be fun, although I've never really ridden a motorcycle before. So that it's going to be an interesting journey, right? Well, that'd be the easiest way to do it. It's a lot of straight. By the time you get there, by the time I get there, I'll be good if I get there. And so, yeah, I'm strongly considering that I'm going to talk to my probation officer and see if he's down because uh i went and sat on that suzuki today it's like a 7700 motorcycle so it's i feel like that's a good one to start off with if i drop it what is it like a uh like sv650 oh the best i had one of those i had an sv that was my first motorcycle sv650 like 2003 or four maybe and i bought it for 4 600 used i put 8 000 miles on it in two years

and i sold it for 4 600 it was perfect cost me zero tone and it was such a great motorcycle for everything like good on the canyons good on on the highway, good for in the city. Can you click on the one with the white gas tank? Yep, that's the one. Is it an S or a regular one? I would go with the regular one, not the S. It's kind of white and red. Yeah, the white and red one.

That's great. These are such good modern stuff. That's this year's paint. Yeah, so I was thinking maybe put a little storage thing on the back there and definitely change that exhaust out because I don't like the look of it. But everything else I think is pretty – and a windscreen. What you could do for a road trip, you could do the top mount cargo box, the hard box, and then soft saddle bags on the side.

And then you can remove the saddle bags and throw them over your shoulder and it's like a suitcase you can bring inside with you. These are really, really good motorcycles. They really are nice. I would need one night's change of clothes, really, because my plan would be, I think, to mail all my shit to the house I'm staying at in Denver

a couple days prior and then just ride there with the clothes on my back and one change to stop at a hotel, spend the night, and then just pick up again the next day. I think it's about a two-day ride. Yeah, be fun. That'd be an ambitious two-day ride. What do you do

for communication and technology in your helmet when you're riding? Do you have anything? We have Carto systems, but we tend to just he listens to music i listen to an audiobook and we do that all day do you find that that you are still able to hear the world around you and appropriately focus on your riding while listening to things in your helmet uh yes but you know keep in mind a lot of it's off-road. So there isn't a ton of traffic to pick up on. Yeah, yeah. So especially

off-road, where we go slower, fast off-road is still fast, like 50. But we spend a lot of time going 25 because it's a little more technical. And with that, there's not a lot of wind noise or anything like that. And I can hear just fine.

Are you on a guided tour? Or are you using backcountry discovery route maps? Or what you on a guided tour or are you using like B-backcountry discovery route maps or what maps? What kind of maps are you using? There's a dude named Sam who invented something called the Transamerica Trail. They call it the TAT. T-A-T. And we bought a bunch of GPX files which you probably know but it's a spec for navigation standards and you load it into your Garmin and follow it. I've heard of that route. It's supposed to be very cool.

I've done the other one. Butler motorcycle maps have the backcountry discovery routes, and the website is ridebdr.com, and they're basically a bunch of maps where you can ride across whole states off road and you can link a bunch of the routes together but i've done uh washington utah arizona and california and uh it's fun the train oh here's the map of the transamerica trail yeah so this one he showed is the current version and it's the red line. So we kind of picked it up at the Western part of North Carolina. Like we didn't go north or anything.

And then, you know, along the bottom circles around Boise and we're currently in Wyoming. Oh, great. I mean, oh, so you took the loop clockwise then? Yeah, apparently it's directional. Oh, yeah, it says all charts go clockwise. That's right. It says it right there.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it does, doesn't it? Yeah. I don't know why you couldn't run it the other way. I will say in Denver, maybe not Denver. I keep calling Colorado Denver. But in Colorado, some might be more difficult to go backwards. But ninety nine percent of the time, it's it's not that hard. Like it's it's a lot of dirt roads. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's, it's a lot of dirt roads. Yeah. Yeah. You know, same thing with, um, with what we do with the backcountry discovery route.

Most of it is just fire road. And there are some sections that are more technical that are very clearly marked and we do it in cars. You know, we don't do it on motorcycles. And so we avoid the very technical sections in the cars because, um, we're, we're on just unsure and it doesn't really matter to me but but um we just did the california one like a month ago in one of those four by four like sprinter vans you know the off-road sprinters that you kind of camp in um it was cool it was cool it was um a little less luxurious than i expected how to be. How so? Tell me more.

Well, first off, the Sprinter itself is a fabulous piece of engineering. I mean, the 4x4 Sprinter, the powertrain, the suspension is very good. The seats and the – you know, it really feels in a lot of ways like a Mercedes. You know, it really feels in a lot of ways like a Mercedes. And when you're doing a lot of miles, that kind of stuff does matter compared to other vans, you know, like the Promaster, which is a very utilitarian van and feels kind of cheap when you're actually driving it, even though it's still just a box on wheels when you're building out an RV, right? But, you know, living in the RV, it just, it's fucking messy. It's so messy. Everything gets so, just gets so dirty and messy, and it's really hard to keep things clean. It's, it's.

What'd you do for a bathroom? We went, we stayed at campsitesites the van that we had did not have a bathroom in it and so it was us and another couple that was in like an f-150 and they liked to tent camp and so we were staying at campsites and and in um in california uh the california bdr route you you actually can't camp outside of campsites because most of it's in Death Valley National Park, which doesn't allow off. What do you call it? Scattered camping. Scattered camping.

Primitive is what I've heard. Primitive camping. Right. Correct. Yeah. So, look, it just, you know, I've done, I'm a sailor. I've done like sailboat stuff and yacht stuff, which is, it's the best. I mean, it's the best.

I would love to talk about that, but we'll get to it. It's not bad. Let's just say van camping is not bad. Okay. Yeah. But it is expensive. Because it's $200,000, you know. This trip, as much as I've loved it,

I'm having the time of my life. I feel emotionally wealthier. I think my happiness is somewhat solar-powered. I'm just out there in the sun sometimes. Today, I'm out there on a mountaintop, on a dirt road. No big deal. Just ride my motorcycle through heaven. What did you do today? I'm out there on a mountaintop on a dirt road. No big deal. Just ride my motorcycle through heaven. What did you do today?

And I'm loving it. On the other hand, back home, my wife is getting sadder by the day. My son is going bonkers, and he can't wait to watch Walking Dead with me again. My daughter, I try not to talk about her as much because people are weird. But she got a job, and she's moved to Texas for right now. Great news. Yeah. So it's just Jackie and Colin going crazy at home, barely keeping shit together.

The pool turned green, then cloudy. You haven't been gone that long. The tractor's broken for some reason. Has it been used? Yes. George Foreman's father came in mode while I was gone. He hit a plumbing fixture and had to speed run learning plumbing to stop the leak. And then he got stuck in the mud.

So now they got my $70,000 truck pulling my $30,000 tractor out of the mud. This is going horribly for me. I tied the chain to the bumper. It just ripped it right off. I've been on the road for 26 days so far. That's a lot of days. And how many days remain? I'm sorry, what is the second half?

How many days remain? Oh, six. Six or seven. So it's the first now i'm trying to get home on the seventh is that six or seven days i don't know yeah yeah yeah so um it's a fucking cool trip man like like um taylor could you see yourself getting into motorcycles at all or is it just not your thing it's just not my jam okay what's your jam uh magic i like lifting weights i like magic the gathering i like salted meats and cheeses i like late night binge eating What's your jam? I like lifting weights.

I like Magic the Gathering. I like salted meats and cheeses. I like late night binge eating. Candle making? I did do candle making for a while. That's my favorite Taylor ham. He's a man's man. Salted meats and cheeses goes a real long way with me.

Taylor, how much of a dent have you made in that ham I sent you? Oh, I haven't opened yet i'm saving it for a big party i'm organizing a big party because kyle for my wedding gift he basically was like hey uh what's your registry so i can buy you some stuff and i was like please don't buy me any and then he was like or i could just send you a whole leg of prosciutto haha and i'm like please do that we can't even fit all the cups in the dishes we have in the kitchen now. And it's becoming a surplus problem. And so like four days later, uh, this fucking 30 pound leg with a bone in it comes with a stand that, and I haven't opened it because I don't, I want it to stay fresh until the day I throw the big prosciutto party and

start eating it. And it was funny because like the little note thing, like it's for a wedding. And so like the company has a little box there where you can write like best wishes you know have a great wedding or marriage whatever and kyle thought it was instructions and so he put deliver asap what happens while you're waiting to open it? Is it in your refrigerator just taking up a huge amount of space? No, it's wrapped and packaged, and it's just salted, preserved meat. And so it's a million percent fine until I decide to open it.

Awesome. And then I kept a little instruction booklet where it shows you how – because it came with a big carving knife. Also that's like very flexible so that you can get really thin slices. And, uh, it's like, cut it like this. Always leave a slight layer of fat on the top. Don't go for these huge long cuts.

You don't want to let go. And so I'm going to, I'm going to figure it out as I go. I know exactly what's going to happen. I'm going to throw a big get together charcuterie board style for a bunch of friends. We're going to get through a third of it. And then the next day I'll get through a third of it.

And then the day after that, I'll get through the last third of it and I'll just be like sweating. And I remember like, I, I think this was, uh, when, when Chiz sent me that huge log of chorizo,

like six years ago, five years ago, he sent all of this one, like it's very delicious, Spanish, spicy chorizo. And years ago five years ago he sent all of us one like it's very delicious spanish spicy chorizo and like i got i was like drunk some weekend night went back to my my apartment i had at the time and i woke up the next morning like oh what's wrong what's wrong with me like i i guess i have a little headache i'm kind of hung over but something's wrong something's wrong and i like

went out and i realized that in a pretty much brownout slash blackout, I'd eaten 18 ounces of chorizo and all the cheese. They were empty slices of American that were in my fridge that I ate with it.

It was brutal. The last straw is getting out of control. Got to get that down. But yeah, that's my jam. My wife and I went to Italy for our honeymoon and I brought back I think it was nine kilograms of cheese

in my carry-on. Like they backed it. 21 pounds of cheese, no big deal. It was so good. And some meats as well but uh they the most amazing uh log of meat the cured meat that i've ever seen was at a street fair in um somewhere outside of milan in italy and this guy had a fucking salami that I shit you not was about 13, 14 inches around. And he was cutting it with a wire. He was like wrapping the wire around it and then just going and like off these like giant discs of salami that were like a seven meter thing.

I was incredible. Of course, I got a got a huge disc. Now, the reason I have your meat disc from Italy. You know, one in one. I got a huge disc. You have your meat disc from Italy. I got a meat disc. The reason I asked about the motorcycle thing is if I get a motorcycle, it would be fun if we all went on some sort of a silly tour. But I don't know. I have to see if they make a sidecar for my bike. Oh, put it in a sidecar.

A sidecar? That seems actually very scary and not a mask you can get one of those um are they called is it like is the can-am is that that weird like like three-wheeler thing with the big tire in the back and they're very embarrassing yeah you don't want that that's basically like riding a snowmobile down the highway. Yeah. There's a snowmobile with wheels on it. In Atlanta, that's what you get if you want to show off, but you've only got $22,000. Well, that's the Polaris Slingshot in LA. That's what it is. Is that a three-wheeler, Polaris Slingshot?

Yeah, it looks cool. It looks like something Batman would like. It looks like it would come out of the Batmobile in emergencies, like when he's got to go off-road or something. It's a bad thing. This looks kind of cool. It's very novel. It's neat looking. This looks really unpleasant to drive. The K&M?

Is that what you're looking at? The Polaris 3 shot. I was looking at renting one in Denver, but they're like $200 a day. No, listen, don't. Just don't. Save yourself because there's a couple things to note with these things. One, the only reason this vehicle has three wheels.

There's one reason and one reason alone, and that is because if you have three wheels instead of four, you're a motorcycle, air quotes motorcycle, and not a car, and therefore you don't have to have any safety features so no crash testing no roll structure nothing nothing required no requirements so if you add a fourth wheel which is better for cars to have four wheels than three that must be why it's so popular that's why and and so and also also, this is built by a company that mainly builds just off-road toys.

ATVs. It drives like an ATV that you've put tires on. It doesn't actually drive well. These are cheap as shit. You can get one for like $19,000. That's what I'm talking about. A certain group of people

in Atlanta who might want to show off and be a little flashy will buy those. You know what it would be great for? You rent it for $50 an hour on South Beach, and you roll around for like two hours. I agree with that. That's the best use of that. I wrote another one of those called a Vanderhall. one of those called um a vanderhall there's something called a vanderhall venice which is a slightly more let's call it classy version of the same uh thing and uh equally terrible to drive very very horrible to drive um it looks kind of cool and it's the kind of thing you'd rent on

south beach for like you know 50 bucks an hour are any of these three-wheelers fun or good or no? One of them actually is. The Morgan three-wheeler, which you may have seen before, the Morgan three-wheeler is something that was a real thing back in the early 1900s before all cars were supposed to have four wheels or anything like that. And they brought it back about 10 years ago. And it's got a Harley Davidson engine in the front, and it's rear-wheel

drive, and it has... You know, it feels like you could die in it at any second. But it's also because of how it sounds, like a Harley... You know, that Harley... When you take a Harley engine and you put it in a little car, it at any second but it's also because of how it sounds like a harley you know that harley's when you take a harley engine and you put it in a little car it sounds like a world war ii spitfire or something um you know and you want to put on a scarf and some goggles and like you

know bomb london or something in this thing and uh this one is you know it, it's a piece of junk like all the rest of them. But it has so much character that it is actually a very good time. And it's sort of like a vacation from being yourself to drive one. They're hilarious fun. And actually, Morgan three wheelers, they're so strange. You can just, you can park them anywhere. You can park them. My friend has one.

My friend Alex Roy. And you can park them like illegally, just like fucking anywhere. You can park them. My friend has one, my friend Alex Roy, and you can park them like illegally, just like fucking anywhere. Nobody gives a shit. Just leave it wherever you want. You know, he comes out of the restaurant and women are just like sitting in it, you know, taking pictures and stuff.

How much is it? 50 grand new, maybe 35, 40 used. I'm on their website and there's a lot of mixed messages like i'm trying to find prices for the car and they're and i'm you just described morgan so well mixed well i mean they're they i'm trying to find the prices for the car and i just they just told me about a new kind of ashwood gin they sell they're trying to be a a european man's handbag made of genuine leather uh this is a a car hammer from the turn of the century,

a vehicle accessory. This is so disjointed. What do they sell? Moichendising, my friend. Moichendising. Do you know what Zach wrote? We're told that 10 will be coming to buyers in the U.S. with the Trike's official MSRP and a hefty $59,000.

Yeah, I think that's the final edition. I think they're discontinuing the three-wheeler, and there's some kind of final edition that they're going to be selling 10 in the U.S. The fucking Morgan dealer is really close to my house. The only one on the West Coast is really close to my house, and it looks exactly like you'd think a Morgan dealer would look. It looks like an old English shed in the middle of Santa Monica. It's so fucking funny and charming and hilarious. But three wheelers are bad for a lot of reasons. The

last of which is that in a car, you can straddle potholes. Well, if you've got a wheel in the middle, that's really a problem because you have to pick, is it going to be your left leg, your right leg, or your ass that takes the impact of whatever it is in the road? It's a super rough ride. You feel every ball. Matt, does the Can-Am perform really well? No. Do you know Tale of the Dragon? Are you familiar with this road?

Yeah. Yeah, it's lovely. I was on it a couple weeks ago. Oh, cool. Was it great? Oh, yeah. It's lovely. I was on it a couple weeks ago. Oh, cool. Was it great? Oh, yeah. It's fantastic. I might like the snake even more. But in any case,

I want to say there were can-am's all over it. I wouldn't be surprised. They're popular. I think they suck, but that doesn't mean I don't see a lot of them around. If there are people, and I think it's not anyone on this podcast, but there are people that are genuinely afraid of falling over on a motorcycle. And so if they want that feeling and they don't care or think they look as stupid as I think they look. And they want most of that motorcycle feeling,

but with a virtually 0% chance of falling over. That's how you end up on one of those things. There's another upside that you haven't touched on. It's that it's really passenger friendly. Like a lot of wives who maybe don't want to go on a motorcycle on the tail of the dragon, who would enjoy it on the cannon yeah i suppose if you had a passenger that was not not about motorcycles this this might be a half measure that would get them which is like the whole world right like people see a cannon and they feel like, oh, I've sat in car seats before.

You mean – yeah, yeah. I mean you're right. I think it is less threatening certainly to a very strong subgroup of folks. If I was going on a road trip though, if I was going on a road trip and I wouldn't do the half measure, if I was like I don't want to – I have no interest in a motorcycle ever. I'll never ride one. I don't care. If I was going to go anyway, I wouldn't go – I'll go halfway though and do a three-wheel. No, I don't want to do, I have no interest in a motorcycle ever. I'll never ride one. I don't care if I was going to go anyway. I wouldn't go. I'll go halfway though and do a three wheel.

No, I'll just get a car. So you're saying there's a chance that I don't want, you know, it is a lot in the, in the AC and I pack only my own lunch. All of us consider though, a motorcycle that weighs a reasonable amount of weight. Right. And we all have like, let's just say legs that work. You know, if you were 70 and the kind of motorcycles you were used to riding were fucking 900 pound baggers, you probably don't see, well, maybe I'll just get a lighter

motorcycle as a real option. You know what I mean? You have been accustomed to having cup holders and stereo, you know, and all kind of toilet on your motorcycle, and you don't want to give that up, you know? I don't know if you'll know. Are there any motorcycles with air conditioning? Because I thought there were, and I'm not seeing it. I don't think so. I mean, I've seen motorcycles with heated seats and hand grips, but I've never seen air conditioning.

I've seen stereos, I mean, proper stereos. I've seen cup holders, but no, I haven't seen air conditioning. Okay. You know what I might have seen is a cool shirt set up for a motorcycle. Have you ever seen a cool shirt set up for a motorcycle. Have you ever seen a cool shirt set up for a car? I think I'm familiar with what astronauts do where they like kind of, they don't have, they don't air condition the room, they air condition the clothing. Right. It's liquid cooled clothing. And so you would either in the more basic setups have an

actual cooler with ice and ice water in it. And it would literally pump ice water all over your body, which is a setup that I had in one of my other cars. I built this Mustang, and rather than put air conditioning in it, I was like, I don't need to cool the car. Fucking cool me. And so I would put on this shirt. When I went for a drive, it was great. And they have the more advanced ones that are actual air conditioning compressors

that are self-contained. They have their own antifreeze-like gel as opposed to water. You would wear the same shirt, plug into a different little box. Now, I don't know if a motorcycle can output the kind of juice that can run that sort of thing. I don't see why you couldn't have one physically installed on a, on a bike, but like you might need some kind of other power source or something. Cause I don't know. I mean,

a car will run it, but I don't know about, about a bike. Does a bike have like a 12 volt, like a proper 12? It doesn't have an alternative. It's staters, right?

Yeah, but there's 12 volt. Like I, you can charge your phone and I run my GPS and there's a cigarette lighters on them. Mine is a cigarette. If you got a cigarette lighter, then I suppose it could be possible. I don't know what it takes to run an air conditioner.

I've only seen, you mentioned, hey, here's the low-tech, here's the high-tech. I've seen lower-tech where they're like, hear me out. Take your shirt, dunk it in cold water in the morning and then the magic of evaporation lasts all day. That's called the fucking hypothermia method. That's like, let's roll getting cold water in the morning and then the magic of evaporation lasts all day oh that's

called the fucking hypothermia method i mean that's like that's like let's roll the dice will i get hypothermia today or will i be just fine that's great yeah i wonder how cold it gets with a wet shirt on a motorcycle i've had you know we've had here here where i live um i live in venice so on venice in venice beach it's actually it can be Venice in Venice Beach it's actually it can be pretty cool it's it can almost it can be cold

you know and so I had to go film I think it was at Pan America and I I woke up in the morning and it was

it was cool but I knew it would be hot up in the mountains where I was filming so I put my summer jacket on you know I didn't have any

any I had to commit to buy an outfit right so oh because you're getting away from buy an outfit right so oh because you're getting away from the ocean breeze right so i get up there and it gets like 30 degrees hotter in fact it it was so hot and i was by myself that i think i ruined i permanently ruined my helmet because i sweated in so much i think i have to get a new helmet and i was so sweaty up there i was

happy to have my summer jacket on but then i rode back down the mountain to venice and it got cold and i was sweaty underneath the jacket and i was freezing and i had like 20 really cold minutes before i got home and i was like fuck filming motorcycles it sucks never i would think there was like some kind of a setup where like there was some kind of a setup where there was some sort of induction thing on the front. It's like a scoop on the front of your motorcycle that would suck air and pipe it into

the sleeve of your jacket and poof you up. If you unzip your sleeves, you don't need a system. I want some technology involved, though. I want to be poofy all the time. How about the jacket in Back to the Future 2?

Your jacket is now dry. Tal wants a complex solution to a simple problem. Have you seen motorcycle airbags? Have you seen that yet? Personal, wearable airbags for motorcycles? They look sort of like those slim life vests that you can wear that inflate as soon as you hit water it's like that but it's good dude this fucking thing detects when you are sailing through the air and it it inflates and you are wearing an air like demolition man remember

demolition man when like the car would like started flipping and the entire interior of the car. Turned into a cannoli. Yo, we're totally living in the demolition man timeline, by the way. It's happening. We are. Yeah, we're getting super PC. Yeah, we're right there. Yeah, it's going to be a problem. It's going to be a problem in like five years.

You're going to be able to say shit. Violations of the verbal morality. You know, i was imagining this i just watched a video on the motorcycle airbag it's really just around the neck and like to stabilize i thought it was gonna be a lot funnier no no it it talks around your chest and it doesn't turn into a zorb i thought it was gonna be like coming out of your arm so basically you could like almost bounce i know that was a really stupid way to make it. It's kind of your torso and the neck thing to stabilize it. People don't get it.

When you puff up your shoulders, suddenly your helmet's not wagging around. Oh, yeah. It's sort of like if you've seen Tommy Boy. In Tommy Boy, where he's got the thing around his neck that pops up like that, it's actually like that, but for real. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Klein makes a good one, but their business model sucks it's a

monthly subscription you pay them like dude it I don't know if you guys do finance the same way monthly subscription it is not that hard to get me to buy something for 700 but to get me to sign up for 15 bucks a month is impossible and that's how theirs works like it's cheaper than this uh alpine star one but there's a monthly cost and the alpine stars one you you own it and that's it true yeah oh yeah wow that's yeah dude well you know we're getting we're you know you want to talk about some the dangers of this type of subscription uh stuff you know i don't know if we talked about over-the-air updates on the last time I was on the show, but Tesla started the over-the-air updates thing.

Now other cars are following the over-the-air updates. But Tesla also does over-the-air features that you can buy that are actual comfort and convenience features with the car. And they've gotten in some hot water for removing some of those features when you sell that car to the next person and then say, backtrack and saying, oh, those were actually subscription features and it's sort of some, it's some bullshit,

but, you know, Tesla has a habit of doing shady things, so that doesn't surprise me, but what other companies learn from Tesla for better or worse. And companies like BMW and Ford and I forget who else were floating, you know, things like subscription heated seats, you know, actual physical features in the car where they would install the hardware in every single car. And you'd have to pay to have that shit activated um which my motorcycle did that and i hate it yeah my motorcycle has cruise control can i'm am i frozen no you're good you're there okay my motorcycle has cruise control there's

a physical switch on the handlebar where you like you know raise and lower the speed but it's part of a tech pack i paid 500 for that and some other things like rally mode and, but it's part of a tech pack. I paid $500 for that and some other things like rally mode and such. And it's like, it's a software upgrade for the bike. Yeah. And you 100% want it. I bet every one of their customers buys it. It's almost like they just falsely advertised the price of the bike by 500 down. And then there's a tech pack that everybody's going to want. Oh man, you know who the king is of this? Well, first off, at least they're not making you subscribe to the tech pack. Where if you don't pay the fee, they just turn that shit off later. You know what I'm saying? The king of this, of what we can call product doublespeak, right? So

they can advertise that lower price, but then you really got to get this feature that's not mentioned in that price, but that all the media reviews and all the press launches, everyone who had anything to say about this bike, they rode the one that had the handling pack or whatever. Who wants disabled switches on their dashboard or handlebars? Totally, right? The king of this is General Motors and the Corvette, because the Corvette, the engineers, when they come out with the new Corvette, they go out and they build the best car they can build, right? That car ultimately is called the Z51 Performance Pack car. Then the accountants come in and they go, okay, here's that car, your car, the Z51 pack.

That would cost us, we'd have to sell that for $68,000. I need a Corvette that is $59,999. Start taking shit out. And so that's how you get the media, me, and people like us to go, well, the Corvette starts under $60,000. But the only one buying a $60,000 Corvette, I promise you, is fucking Hertz. Those cars are shit piles. If you rent a Corvette from Hertz,

it is not the experience that someone like me had driving a Corvette or someone who bought a loaded up Corvette is having. It's a different car. It has much cheaper shops and cheaper breaks and all this other stuff, you know, speaking of updates though, over the air updates,

it's a concept that I don't hate. Now I know I don't like subscriptions, but like my iPhone, when I buy my iPhone, I'm buying like a platform. I know that next year, this iPhone will be better than it is right now. And that's exciting to me.

There's a dark mode is going to come in some new feature. I don't know. Emojis on text or whatever it is. That phone gets better. When you buy most cars, the day you drive at home is the best it's ever going to be. And then it just slowly gets worse forever. And it'd be neat if it sat in my driveway,

connected to the wifi and improved, you know, the dash or something. No, look, over-the-air updates are good. I'm just saying the slippery slope stops at over-the-air upgradable features. That's where I really would like to draw the line. I love a car that can connect to the Wi-Fi in my garage. And if there's a software update, it just does it. That's totally fine. But when you start talking about a physical feature that is installed hardware in the car that

could be, you know, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, you know, it's just something you want to be wary of. I don't want the heated seats in my car or the, man, heated seats is an example. What's it? I'm trying, I'm trying, blanking on another possible. I've got a thing. The parking sensors or the front or rear camera, you know, to be deactivated, you know, if I sell the car to someone else, you know, I can't, I've now paid for those features, but there's no value left in me when I go to sell the car later, you know. Here's my thing. Matt, I'm not just talking to you because I know you know most of this. Lane assist is when your car kind of like pinballs between the two lanes

and kind of stays in the center, but you're just bouncing off from one lane to the other. Lane centering is when it constantly adjusts and keeps you in the middle of the other. Lane centering is when it constantly adjusts and keeps you in the middle of the lane. I have lane assist on my F-150 and I want lane centering. If they said, Woody, 300 bucks, you know, it's the same hardware. We can just do a software upgrade and make it work better. I'd be all over it. You know, I don't, I don't know if it is, and I don't know if they could. I think it sounds like the kind of thing that should be simple, but I'm guessing it's not. I've had long conversations with the guy because I have

a Ford Mach-E, the electric Ford I've had for like three months and it's overwhelmingly, it's very good, but we've had a couple issues. I have an iPhone 12 mini and my wife has an iPhone X or 10, whatever you want to call it. And we've had some issues with her phone and the wireless CarPlay connectivity. It's been a little bit buggy. So, you know, because I'm Matt Farah and an automotive journalist, I have been in contact with the person that actually is responsible for integrating CarPlay in that vehicle, like in Detroit, right? And it sounds like something that's simple, like we have CarPlay, we have iPhones, like this is a solved problem, right? But it's the amount of work that has to be done for every possible phone and sub phone, it would surprise you at how not straightforward, a straightforward seeming

problem can be. So I try to be like a little more sympathetic. Um, what you're talking about, if you could add this lane centering feature to your lane, keep assist. Like, I don't know if there's a hardware difference. I have no idea. So I think they'd like to, if they could, but I don't know if they can. Yeah. Old school cars would say get this year's. I mean, look, I have five old ass cars and one brand new one. And the new one is

the appliance for when I need to do shit in traffic and just get from here to there. And it's five on a Friday and I just don't have the physical energy to drive a dog-leg gearbox and a 34 year old Ferrari, which is what I drive most of the time. But, uh, you know, it's nice to have that, uh, that level of convenience, but you know, as an early adopter, there's going to be a few,

a few little hiccups, but it's all right. Kyle, do you think you're going to get that bike? You're on mute, by the way. I think I want to... Obviously, I'm going to go... I would say there's a 50% chance. I'm weighing my options. I like it. I need to go get the...

If it were easier to get the permit, I'm just lazy. That's the whole thing. Do you have the Motorcycle Safety Foundation there? get the what if it were easier to get the permit i like if i could i'm just lazy that's what's that's the whole do you have a motorcycle safety foundation there take the motorcycle safety foundation class because you basically come out of it with a license and you learn the very basics on their motorcycles that shit is good yeah yeah that that is an option that's probably a smart one to do or i could do what i was thinking and pay the 20 to get all the all the uh answers to the the permit test and uh just cheat on the permit test and then

uh go go go buy my gear and buy the motorcycle and just hit the road i mean you'll pass you don't have to cheat i watch a couple youtube videos of course it's not like how to ride a motorcycle talking about dude the only way people survive on motorcycles is if they take it seriously. I strongly advise, as your attorney, that you buy a motorcycle of reasonable performance and you take the

responsibility of riding it pretty seriously. Because people who don't, they fucking die. I mean, they actually die often. Or worse, they can't walk. Or worse, they can't walk. Or worse, they're fucking named. Are you talking about someone specific? Chicks don't dig them anymore.

No. I just know that Kyle would not want to live with a major injury. I promise you, I won't live with a major injury. I guarantee it. No, that's absolutely smart. That has been my thought process all along. Motorcycles are fun.

Even if you ride them within a reasonable pace, they're still very fun. Even if you're being responsible, they're still very fun. And a lot of that depends on the bike. Some bikes are not fun at 60 miles an hour. And some bikes are. That one I miles an hour and some bikes are. That one I'm looking at looks fun. It looks fun. It looks like I could like, you know, it's just, it's only a 650.

It looks like I could really, you know, take it through the gears and have a good time. They're super good because it's a V-twin. And so you've got a lot of mid-range torque. So you don't have to zing the thing to 10 000 rpm all the time you know you can really work your way up um in the power they make really linear power so you can you can stay in the bottom half of the rpm range and still be going pretty good uh and just not get you know you know it's not like a jixer where it's like it's got nothing below 9 000 and you're like you know constantly you know you don't have to do that it's cool and v twins are really so matt tell me if i get anything wrong here but i think v

twins the cylinders the interval at which they fire is not steady and a parallel twin it is so my bike goes and it's you know it's not the most exciting idle. A V-twin goes, ba-ba-ba-ba. There it goes, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. And it sounds like a motorcycle. It sounds like it's supposed to. Yeah. I mean, if you think about the... You can think about it in car terms, right?

If you think about the sound of a Honda, which is a very even tone, even if it's high-pitched, compared to the sound of a big-block Chevy, which is very rough. You hear the firing order. It's much better. I like that so much better.

I grew up with big-block Chevys, like 383 Strokers and 400 small-block and stuff like that and just building little drag race cars and I really like I mean maybe you want a Harley

what's it sound like when you get it going even faster fuck you it's a for Harley you say potato potato potato what i really want i think i think i want to get the suzuki and like learn to ride a little better um woody made a good point like it's you know it's a seven thousand dollar motorcycle that's that's fairly it's really fucking cheap i'm being honest and like but what i what i really like is the

indian uh scout 60 oh they're cool yeah that's a cool look i like that one i really like is the indian uh scout 60. oh they're cool yeah that's a cool look i like that one i really like the look of that bike um i like all the color schemes on that bike and uh if i ever but but what i might do if i if i uh if i get this suzuki and like really enjoy riding and uh it depends it depends what i want after that if i'm riding the suzuki i'm like man i wish i had more speed or more sportiness, then I might go to that Indian sport bike that I fucking love so much. The FTR.

The FTR rules. The 1200cc fucking rocket ship. It takes styling cues from the SV650 though. That's why I like the SV. The SV has that exposed chassis look that I really enjoy on the Indian bike. But if I'm like,

I wish I had something that was a little more like, I just kind of want to cruise around and have a little straightforward speed. Maybe corners have frightened me. Maybe I drop the bike in a corner or something like that. It scares the fucking shit out of me. You won't drop it in a corner. You'll drop it in a parking lot at one mile an hour.

That's absolutely true. You're absolutely right. But in that case, maybe I'm like, yeah, let's just get that Indian bike. I think they both look good. And Indian is kind of what I've settled on as far as the look of a bike. But it's those two models. It's that sport bike, the FTR. Yeah.

You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out after a couple months on the S3. I do like the black. What are the top ones, Zach? Yeah, the top one there, that color scheme in particular. Yeah. Everything about that is sexy as fuck to me. The darker red on the right looks neater, I think.

Like that more maroon. It's the same thing. It's just the camera. Different photo. Okay. Well, yeah, that one looks really neat. I mean, it's a race bike. Those are fucking badass. The. Different photo. Well, yeah, I don't really need it. I mean, it's a race bike. Those are fucking badass.

They're really, really cool. They all have optional exhausts. You can get the regular one, which is the long pipes, and then the optional one, which is the short pipes, probably. But you'll be good. A couple months on that SV, that's a right down the middle bike.

And then you can figure out from there which way you want to focus your energies that's that's what i'm thinking as well you're exactly right that's that's kind of what i was thinking in my in my ignorant opinion it was just like this seems like a good beginner's bike it's it's nice and cheap too um if i drop a seventeen thousand dollar motorcycle i'm gonna be sick to my stomach but uh if i drop a $17,000 motorcycle, I'm going to be sick to my stomach. But if I drop a $7,000 bike, probably won't care much. Can I give you a little bit of practical advice? Buy one that's three years old for $5,000

and then sell it for $5,000. Dude, that's what I've been trying to do. There's none. Matt, I'm not sure your advice is timely. I feel like people are coming out of COVID just buying every motorcycle and hotel room, and they're shot out of a cannon doing outdoor shit. When I find Yu Suzuki's, they're like $7,000.

And I'm like, wait a minute. The brand new one with a sticker on it is $7,700. Oh, well, if that's what the market looks like, I haven't looked in a while. So if that's what the market looks like, yeah, get the new one. Get the new one. Yeah, it's really dumb. Because that's what the market looks like i i haven't looked in a while so if that's what the market looks like yeah get the new one yeah the new one yeah yeah it's really dumb like because that's what i was thinking too like like in my head i was like i should be able to get like out the door five grand on like a three-year-old one with a couple thousand miles and why would i give a fuck if like the seat's cracked even like like i don't mind like i'll put a new seat cover on it i'll get it reupholstered. If it's got scratches,

I prefer that. A couple scratches are good. You don't want to give a fuck about it. You want to be able to leave it parked outside somewhere and not really care. As long as the battery's charged up and the tires are new and the thing runs smoothly,

that's all I care about. We've got an ugly dirt bike here. Not a dirt bike. My podcast partner, Zach, he had a motorcycle crash 15 years ago, so he doesn't want to ride. He knows that if the apocalypse happens, two wheels is going to get us out of LA.

I have my Vespa 300. My Vespa 300 is the shit. I will die on that hill. I love my Vespa. He's got this thing called an MZ Bagheera, which is an East German motorcycle. An MZ

Bagheera is an East German motorcycle that has a Yamaha 660 single powertrain. It's like an Enduro, but it's from Eastern Bloc. I don't know what the fuck. I don't know how it ended up

in America, but he bought it off my friend for $2,000. And it's like, you know, not great, but it's okay from like 20 feet away. Yeah, there it is. The yellow one. Alright. And the second row towards the right. Scroll down third

row, black background, yellow. Yeah, there it is. That, MZ Bagheera 660, that's it. That was cool. Isn't Supermoto trim like that one? It's like a Power Ranger. It looks exactly like that one in that photo in the yellow. For listeners, Supermoto is when they take a dirt bike and put street tires on it.

Yeah. So it has a 55 horsepower 55 torque engine and it goes and it's like funny shit it's got scratches all over it like the blinkers are held on with fucking duct tape it was like two thousand dollars it's great it's so fun yeah i when i was young i like sport bikes that was my thing and how good a motorcycle was was rated on how sporty it was. It was just one correct answer. Old me, no, I like every bike. I look at a cruiser and think of the day I would have on that.

I look at a Vespa and think of the mission I would do with that. This enduro bike, this dirt bike, this sport bike. Every motorcycle, to me, represents a different good time in a different place. And I like them all. The good news about bikes is at least, I mean, they're not cheap,

but at least compared to cars, you could have five or six motorcycles for the price of one, you know, and people do. You can have five or six, like you said, or like they hold their resale value a lot i know a lot of guys who are like 28 30 and have had 12 motorcycles so far

that's rarely true with cars a 30 year old is on his third car like yeah yeah i've got a guy i've got some folks here at the shop who um who rent a car space and they put four motorcycles in it we allow people to do that i got a guy downstairs collects italian motorcycles and he's got like four like 35 000 like badass carbon fiber fucking crazy things that like shake the whole building when he starts them they're cool this is a perfect example of what i was talking about here's a 2018 sv 650 abs 3600 miles seven grand you know that's a hard nope that's a 2018 SV650 ABS, 3,600 miles, seven grand. Nope. That's a hard nope.

That's a hard nope because I can get a brand new one for 7,700. Yeah. I mean, I would maybe look up the Suzuki Gladius. They stopped making the SV650 and renamed it the Gladius for like five years. And so then they went back to SV650 in like 2017 or 18. But it's the same motorcycle. This is a different name. So look up like a 2013 or whatever, 12, 13, 14 Suzuki Gladius, and you might find one that's nice and cheaper, and it's fundamentally the same motorcycle.

They changed the name to something that sucked, frankly. I don't know. SV650 had a fabulous reputation. I don't know why you would throw that brand name away like that, but they did. People have done worse in Sydney. Not to get us off of bikes, but we were talking about safety earlier. Does anybody here go to the home gym subreddit have you ever been there uh

there's a gym uh home gym facebook group too and it's like yeah some of it i'm sorry maybe you want to lead with this but some of it is like inspiring you know there's this poor guy in kenya who wants to get more fit and he's bought a bar some milk crates and he's just bench pressing all the paint cans he can find like like all right that guy i cut a break but then you shift to some other guy like in america and it's like dude what are you doing this is just stupid stupid pull this pull this image up this is one described so if you go to the home gym reddit it is a mix of unbelievably wealthy people who have commercial style and size gyms in their garage or basement and people who

are using spare lumber and like bags filled with sand. And my favorite part of the whole thing is someone will post something like this. And, and they'll be like, dude, that's really dangerous. Like I get you want to be fit, but everything.

And this one, this was the last bad one. This one I saw, I'm linking it right now for you. Can I just say in prison, our workout equipment was better than that. And it was great. Because they would take laundry bags. So you had like a canvas bag with like the pull rope on it.

And they would put rocks in there that they had pre-weighted. And then they would take a magic marker and write on various rocks, you know, like 12 pounds, 22 pounds. But it wasn't a pipe like that. We had that exact setup, but we didn't have a bench press. It was all overhead press. Well, my other favorite thing is when people go to Home Depot with no experience and they put something up and they build something and they all excitedly post.

Someone posted this yesterday when Zach posted it on his feed. And all the comments are like, oh, no. Oh, no. Please don't lift on that. Number one, someone was asking questions like, hey, so is there a through bolt? You know, that goes through and secures the wood. And he's like, nah, it's like a bunch of little screws. They're like, okay, okay.

And it looks like the only thing holding it are those little bits of like tin pieces of tin down there like that that is just sitting there that's the most weight it can hold if that sticks up there for five six minutes it's gonna fall like it's not even the right angle that is so fucking dangerous and stupid as a woodworker i immediately look at this and think about racking forces a racking, like ever make a table and then the four legs just stick straight down. It's only strong. If you press perfectly down, right.

Looking at this thing, if I were to press on that top corner above the weight, you know, it would fold. Like it said, can you imagine like, I don't know what pushing out like one more. What if I press them?

One more press. That's what I'm saying. That's a racking force. That's sideways force. It is not. There's nothing about Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a racking force. That's sideways force. It is not – there's nothing about that. He needs a top bar. Every squat cage has – it's connected.

It's a cube. It's not just two walls. Every single comment is like, please do not lift with this. Please don't. And it's funny because someone will will post like a five thousand ten thousand dollar setup and get like a hundred up votes the ones that get the most popular are these like borderline suicidal death wish setups where it's 85 or actually that was probably expensive lumber's like through the roof right now apparently as far as priciness because i've seen people bitching about that but holy fuck it's not worth being jacked if you're dead and you're not going

to be jacked because like the lumber just came down is it okay well then this guy can afford to put a couple more bolstering but if you look at the way it's made like like it kind of tilts toward the lifter like if you're standing facing it like that that thing should be should be nicknamed the crippler like If one of those gives way, it's sliding right into your shins with whatever he had on there, 120, 140 pounds. You can call that high-risk, low-reward lifting.

Anxiety-inducing lifting. That blew me away. That's gnarly. I live in Venice Beach, which is known for muscle beach or whatever and it was closed for pandemic and so there was like uh there was like uh you know they shut it down people are figuring out all kinds of interesting ways to like work out

you know in the street basically and there's this dude i walk by all the time who's got like a push cart that must have like 800 pounds of kettlebells in it and every morning this motherfucker is pushing this thing up the street with these metal wheels it's got metal wheels on this push cart and he's just rolling these things back and forth up the street it's crazy oh yeah zach just got it yeah it's it's like lumber went from 1372 per 1,000 feet in April is now at 774. What I learned because we're renovating a house is that lumber is seasonal. So the demand was high as they were running out of the 2021 supply. And we are now approaching into the 2022 supply.

And it is back to normal pretty much. Well, that's good. Well, then there's no excuse for these racks on the home. In fairness, there are some people like Woody who know exactly what they're doing, and they'll post it, and it's like a perfect mimicry of like a Titan R3 rack where big three-by-three posts,

and it's got a big thick through bolt and everybody's like this is this is perfect and except the one i saw people were like that's awesome what a great way to save money he's like yeah yeah no it was ended up being about 40 more expensive but i enjoyed the process i've got a lot of shit like that like i've made my own racks that held the lumber and uh it was pretty pimp looking like i was proud of it and had some storage built and it was what i really wanted and then there are other guys who like made it out of metal cheaper stronger my dad did the same thing once like like um i remember one year i bought a brand new um um deer stand like a climbing

deer stand if you're not familiar with this, it's a very lightweight is important because you carry this thing into the woods. It's a two-part thing. It's kind of like the rig you might have seen people climb electrical poles with. It's like a portable tree fort. Is that pretty much? Yeah, and it climbs the tree fort. You tilt it down and

lift up, and then when you pull down, the teeth bite into the tree, and then there's a chain on the back. You've got this mechanism so that you can climb a tree you know yourself and when you're done question if you hit a tree limb that's as high as you can go you bring a you bring a saw with you like they make really aggressively toothed uh hand saws um that you can saw through a limb that's like three inches in diameter and just 10 15 strokes or something and you do that pretty commonly going up.

And you also pick a tree without a lot of limbs. But anyway, they're about $350 or something like that. I had the Grand Slam Supreme. Yeah, there you go. I thought you were talking about breakfast that morning. Right? That's what it sounds like. It's a super comfy thing.

And my dad was like, $350 is a little expensive. I bet I could fabricate that out of aluminum and have it TIG welded up and save a lot. $450. $450. And his weighed more. We weighed them and like, like mine was still like three pounds lighter or something like that.

After he bought all the aluminum, like, like it was just better aluminum that I had on mine. Man. It seems like the good people at outdoor adventures knew what they were doing. almost like this i seem to be good at this it wasn't their first try they've been doing this a very job yeah some jackass stole mine out of a tree i left it in the woods and that they came along and found it did you always leave it in the woods just like i don't want to bring it back with me like there wasn't supposed to be anyone else out there you

know like like it was supposed to be our place. It was your woods? It wasn't ours. It was someone else's property, but we were leasing it. So we were the only people that were supposed to be out there hunting. Fuck that guy. What a dick. Too bad he didn't steal the terrible one that your dad made. Yeah.

That thing is still hanging on the wall over his house. I'm sure you still got it yeah i've seen people make some sketchy like skate ramps out here they put them in the street and it's like oh boy i could just see the fucking knees shattering from here yeah you like see ramps and there's only like the there's only this there's nothing in the middle of the ramp so like you get halfway through and it snaps and then you trip forward over the uh the incline part yeah yeah they used to do that intentionally on jackass i think likes it to fall on purpose yeah yeah piece of plywood and a brick effectively but yeah so uh actually before we jump to the next scene that seems like a natural break we're gonna

hear from a couple sponsors uh so if you gotta pee now's a good time for uh for mr for mr matt farah well i'm actually this is where i gotta close my shop so maybe i'll maybe i should duck out here before your sponsor break because i was gonna do two i had to do two hours anyway in cruise okay okay i'm sorry that i suck at radio and i don't do the full ones but but I had to close my business. My motor. Thank you so much for coming on. We always love having you, man.

I do really like, thank you very much. It was fun. Let's do it against you. I'm sorry. I keep, we keep missing schedules, but like if we book it like a month out,

I can do it instead of like, Hey, you're around next week. That would be great. But the smoking tire on all the social media platforms, the smoking tire podcast, the smoking tire, YouTube channel, et etc. Thanks for having

me, guys. Thank you. Thanks for coming, man. Take care. All right. Sell that ad space. Bye. Will do. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Blue Chew. It's summer. Camping season. Let's talk about pitching tents. I didn't know where that was

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five colors of cards and magic the gathering aha see now we have white one right above your head that's the bitch deck that no one likes no that's this is black this is white oh okay yeah yeah the skull is the black one the sun is the white one right now black's pretty crappy and uh white is doing pretty well green and red are coming up too because they're like a new set came out with strict saving and so i've noticed that other things are getting... Nano green is getting a little bit of boost. I'm stocking green, everybody. He's stocking green.

Blue, you know, it really seems like they tried to weaken white a little bit and make everybody else catch up. Kyle, have you still been playing a good bit, getting some good wins? Yeah, I've been playing on my tablet a lot. I think the Dungeon and Dragon pack comes out soon-ish. I heard something about that the other day i'm not into that at all so it won't mean anything i don't know anything about it either but if the cards look cool who cares exactly yeah what was the other like uh thing

was it lord yeah lord of the rings right there was supposed to be a lord of the rings pack on the horizon that's gonna be sick i'm gonna be genuinely pissed if like it's not a good meta like i want i won't like fucking gandalf wizards to be the meta or something and gandalf genuinely pissed if it's not a good meta. I want fucking Gandalf wizards to be the meta or something. Gandalf is like a planeswalker. Aragorn is like legendary. Oh, it's going to be so tight.

I hope there's an orc deck. For sure. For every orc on the field, this orc does XY or whatever. You'll this orc does xy or whatever like yeah you'll get orcs in like red and black you'll get uruk-hai i bet you get like the mumakil like the big elephants in green and some of the big creatures she lobs that's going to be a green creature probably green because you'll be a spider with reach yeah of course like they always do blue

you're gonna have or no i guess saruman would have to be white no saruman's too evil to be just white he would have to be like white blue because he's like sneaky you know wait you can be two yeah cards can be multiple colors so i would imagine saruman he's called saruman the white so to keep it consistent white's got to be in there but also he's a wizard and you associate that with blue like oh sneaky little not winning by force winning by circumvention and so i would imagine he'd be a white blue or black blue if they went with like an evil or black new white or black white that might make even more sense but now he's a wizard i don't know i don't care how they do it as long as no i don't either no i i'm excited for it i hope there's some sort of a hobbit mechanism uh who's the brown wizard like maybe maybe maybe the

hobbits are so little they can sneak by like they can't be blocked like like the hobbits are all like one one creatures who can't be blocked or something like that they sneak their natural burglars that's true yeah like mary can't be blocked or yeah indestructible wizard could be the tree thing oh and they could totally make some equipment cards out of like some of the famous swords from the from the game like oh for sure i have like anderil and if it's attached to aragorn he gets a special benefit that's a direct ripoff from the lord of the rings trading card game because they had anderil in that one i guess it was you know or no anderil is the reforged shards of narsil as everyone knows till you insult us we know this man i'm a fucking loser man

no i'm genuinely like really stoked on the lord of the rings magic thing that's a fusion of the two nerdiest things that i like so it's gonna be really cool i've uh i've been intentionally taking a break for the past week or so plus from stormlight archive because i burned tolerance break okay well basically because like i was often like i'll sit down to like read the book and this is gonna this is like eight or nine days ago because I burned through. A tolerance break? Okay. Well, basically because I was often I'll sit down to read the book, and this is eight or nine days ago, and I was like, I'm going to sit down and read, and I got

one page into a chapter, and I saw a creature or something, and then I went on Wikipedia to be like, I wonder what other people, the Stormlightopedia, to be like, are there any drawings of this creature that fans have done? I wonder what I'm imagining in a certain way. How are they imagining? I'm interested in that and sometimes like i'll see that someone else's drawing of like a chasm fiend or whatever it is and i'll be like oh that's sick all right i'm

replacing the version i was thinking of with this one this one's better thank you sir is it a big hermit crab because that's how i'm picturing it that's how a lot of but they draw it a lot more creative but i basically like went on a little like track and i ended up back on brandon sanderson's website and i was like book five isn't due for two and a half years are you really gonna start tearing into this right now and just be sad when you're done so i was like dude i've got a new book series you'll like what is it i forgot the name of it but it's i could find it and you would like it it's a fantasy series yeah it's a fantasy

series um shit let me look it up this will take me probably a couple of minutes but i was thinking i was thinking about maybe reading hyperion before i finished book four that book that kyle recommended yeah it looks interesting i think it's five books though oh is it shit i only have one yeah i thought it was i could be wrong i i haven't looked too much into it because i figured there'd be a lot of spoilers that's true yeah that one all if there's five books i'll wait make sure i like the first one before i buy any more have you have you started your homework yet kyle no i have not started my homework my homework's right here next to me have you showed it on pka yet i i don't recall exactly i've shown it a couple times these are the these are the books that these guys keep talking about this is just a few of them all

right look how intimidating these are the first three books split into two each because they're too big oh my fucking god right like like yeah it's very intimidating. I have not cracked into it yet. I've been watching The Shield and Loki and Mr. Inbetween. Those are my three shows that I'm into right now. So I've kind of been doing that thing. And Tarkov just wiped. So I've been watching the videos from that. It's always fun to watch when they wipe.

Did the wipe happen? It happened. Okay. it's always fun to watch when they when they wipe did the wipe happen it happened okay but uh but yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna dig in there at some point and get started yeah i i uh i wanted to still have the books for rereads and so i bought cheaper versions of the first three that are actually smaller would have been more convenient than those those big ones yeah yeah i'm glad to to have a series i like so much right now it's always fun but there's always that feeling of like depression after you finish a series like that where you're like oh like really that's it that's it i can't think about it anymore like i

can't i'm just gonna have to like ruminate and then two and a half years will go by and before i can even start book five i'll have to reread like the first four again just to like catch up and see all the little uh like character traits i kind of like forgot about i might not even need to do that i really have retained this story pretty well i've been so enthralled with it the whole time i really hope you like it that would be disappointing if you were like this is fucking gay dude all right i have it taylor. The King Killer Chronicle series is outstanding. I really think you'll like it. And what will happen is you'll read the first book and love it. The second book, love it more.

Third book, love it more. And then you'll enter this Game of Thrones-like waiting loop as this shit author doesn't get his work done. He's had a divorce. He's had all these life events that prevent it. He he's like i promise i'm about to write it i'm about i'm about to write it so in that regard it kind of sucks i wonder if there's an update patrick ruthis the king killer uh chronicle so they have one released in 07 one released in 2011. And the third one says to be announced. He's only gotten two books out. Oh, maybe I have just read two.

I thought it was three for some reason. It's been 10 years. What a jerk. Yes. Yeah. Well, welcome. You're catching on. Taylor, you have the makings of a Kingkiller fan.

I see a lot of promise in you here. See, this is a series that I i would be anxious to start because if i love it as much as you're saying and i believe you i've heard of patrick rothfuss like he's apparently a very very good fantasy author uh 10 years is it one of those things where like you know the next one almost done it's gotta be he's been working on it for a decade but has he been because the same way that like george rr martin clearly lost the passion for finishing the story and he just petered out has this guy lost the passion i don't know but it's pretty good how many times has he been divorced in 10 years once my god you know i might like it more than the stormlight archives

that you might yeah or i'm saying i might also because i i was watching some interview with brandon sanderson uh and he mentioned patrick rothfuss is like another just like in passing like oh you know a lot of the fantasy guys myself patrick rothfuss and it's like oh there's like a little little group of these guys wait so zach wrote he streams on twitch writing the books. Are we talking about Patrick Rothis? Yes. Ooh, he's working, Taylor. Wow.

He livestreams himself on Twitch writing books. I don't know if that's super interesting or super boring. Wait, if he's doing that, you're just going to spoil the book for yourself. I don't know how that works exactly. Well, do you get to see the words? Like, ooh, confirmed on Amazon to be debuting in 2021. That's this year. All right.

Boom. I'll get into this series. This isn't the finale of the series, is it? I think the third one might be. I'm not sure. That'd be good. What is this guy? I'm not sure how many books it's supposed to be. He's playing a board game now.

He's not writing. Where's he fucking writing? Is he playing a board game back to get back to work asshole your book is 10 years late write it this series i haven't heard of until right now i need to read it yeah but uh yeah uh pka i think a 50 patreon suggested it for me and i mean there were days when it wasn't even good flying weather and I'm like, I'm going to risk it because I want to hear more book. The wind is so fast I can't go anywhere.

I just point into the wind for an hour, go a tiny little bit, and then I turn around in three minutes and land. You're like, man, I got a lot of reading done. It's called paraparking. I would just go up para park and not travel anywhere god that sounds boring although for like reading a book

incredibly relaxing and a cool thing dude you're up there the sun's setting you're listening to a book you're paraparked you know it's not a bad way to spend your evening yeah i i feel like it would be a lot less scary as well. For me anyway. Honestly, not even be moving it sounds like. You're just sitting still. I would get scared flying over power lines and forests. It's called a wind gradient.

On the ground, it's not super windy. Then as you gain altitude, it gets faster and faster. You just rise to the altitude at which you stand still and you're set. Yeah. Makes sense. It's not a bad way to listen to a book. You caught up on Loki?

Yes, I am. I think so. There's four, right? Four. Four of them. I liked it a lot, man. I thought it was really fucking good. It's the best one. Everyone loved Wanda, but I think what they really liked was the return of Marvel.

I don't know that Wanda was that amazing. They were just excited. I liked it, but I think it's the third best one. Am I missing any? I don't think so. I think Loki is the very best one. I like it a lot.

Yeah, I liked it a lot. Yeah, I liked a lot. This most recent episode was pretty fucking cool. I don't know. I dug it. There was a... Zach, can we get a spoilers warning, please? I hope he's on, sitting here listening. There we go.

All right. So there's a part in episode three where they they're talking about loki's and like how they are we just destined to lose all the time and he's like well we don't always win but we never die and i'm like you know what that's true he finds himself in some pretty precarious situation sometimes and and he's a survivor. That's really cool. Zach says I can see him in the bottom. I actually don't know what he's seeing. Yeah, I see myself

at the bottom. Kyle, you do also? I'm in the top right and you're in the top left for me. Below the screen. What about below the screen? It says you're in the show. Everyone can see and hear you your screen looks different than mine i don't know i see a spoilers thing rolling by at the bottom under that oh you're full screen that's why yeah yeah okay um in any case i can't tell

if zach's walked away but back on topic uh yeah loki is amazing i'm digging it. I'm interested in who these time... They're not Time Lords. What are they? Time Keepers? Oh, yeah. I think you're right. Yeah, like the main thing. Right. There were these three big wizard persons or something

and it turns out they're not even real. Or at least those aren't the real ones if there are real ones. I considered that as well. Definitely there's some unanswered questions they're not even real and or at least those aren't the real ones if there are real ones i considered that as well i had but it definitely there's some unanswered questions and they had me waiting for the next week what did it come out tonight or uh yesterday it came out yesterday wednesdays it premieres on wednesdays so okay so we're about as up to date as it gets um i was hoping it was like six days old and did you watch the post credit scene? No.

Oh, I missed something. Do you want to know? Yes. All right. So Loki wakes up and he's in like destroyed New York city. You can see the Avengers tower, like toppled in the background. And he goes,

it's like zoomed in on his face. And he's like, is this hell? And you hear this voice go, no, but you'll end up there pretty soon. If you don don't if we don't get moving and you look and there is a black loki there's a child loki there's a loki that's literally a baby crocodile with with the loki horns and there's a um like the classic loki from the comics that looks ridiculous with the crazy horns and the green and yellow uniform.

He's like an old man. It's pretty cool. I'm sorry. Carry on. That's it. That's it, I guess. That's super exciting. Loki horns, to my sense of style, are the lamest horn configuration like viking horns are the good ones like that that to me is those are made up for to be fair like vikings never wore those horns but i hear you i hear you okay that style of horn bull horns are the good ones those are real i've seen some lately you know that's true yeah so uh like that to me is the coolest sort of strongest scariest horn the downturned ones that like loki wears seem stupid but they toned them down for loki so it's like inspired by the comic

but not the same and the girls horns with the one broken one i like a ton and i'm like i like what they're doing here like they have to, they pay tribute to the comic. Yeah. But, you know, they've, they diverted enough for, from it. Are you saying that you, you like that helmet he wears with the, the swoop horns? I'm saying almost like I dislike it, but they did the best they could while still paying tribute to the comic. Okay. Cause I've, you know, I don't follow that marvel stuff at all but like every time i

see those big two horns i get like more of like a bug's life antenna vibe horns like they do because of the way they're they're not like to the side they're just forward like antennas like they should have made his horns cooler for sure yeah um but but yeah the post-credits scene was really cool i didn't know it existed either i missed it i i usually fast forward in case there is one but like there never has been one so i just stopped doing that uh but i was watching like one of those youtube videos like everything you missed in the most recent episode of loki and uh and they got to that part where they're like oh and if you didn't see the the mid i think they call it a mid-credits scene because i think it is kind of

like in the middle of the credits. Go back and watch. It's fucking cool. Like I said, the black Loki, the child Loki, the old school Loki, and then a crocodile Loki. The crocodile Loki is fucking hilarious. I didn't think the variants would be so

variable. I thought they were infinitely variable, yeah right but i guess if i had only seen episode one i would have thought all the variants could be played by the same actor and can he turn himself into a crocodile is that like a power he can actually yeah there's a really funny moment and i think it's thor ragnarok where thor is telling somebody a story about loki and he's like, yes, there was this one time where Loki

turned himself into a snake because he knows I love snakes and when I picked the snake up, he turned back at himself and says, aha, it's me and he stabbed me. That's such a great story. If you have the power to turn into a snake, he's just doing that to troll that guy. He could have stabbed him way easier. So he just has fun fucking with people sometimes. Loki, that's very on-brand. He's just doing that to troll that guy. He could have stabbed him way easier. So he just has fun

fucking with people sometimes. Loki. He's the god of tricks, maybe? Does that sound right? In Christianity, he would be the Satan. He is the trickster god. He is the god who comes in and makes a really shitty deal with you. He also fucks a lot of animals.

There's a lot of animal fuckers. Wait, is he an animal when he's doing it? Yeah, usually. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, he'll often do that. Think about it. He's an animal also. Remember that movie?

Sure. Remember that Netflix movie where the four guys are on the wilderness retreat in Sweden, and they end up lost in the forest in a cult? They slowly die one by one and there's a monster stalking them and the cult is sacrificing the guy to like that ridiculous monster at the end that was a son of loki it was like a spawn of like loki and an elk or something like that is there a lot of jealousy from loki towards thor huge yeah because he's like man he's older than me he's my dad's he's odin's favorite he has way odin gave him more powers than he gave me like it's that's not exactly accurate about but like there's a lot of reasons he's he's like

jealous and like they have like a rivalry because he's not technically related to to them he's an adopted son as well he's almost he's almost like a lucifer character he literally is yeah yeah to the like i mean like early lucifer like where he's still an angel and he he's still a god and he dips and like thor is more jesusy yeah i don't know much about north there is a hell in north north mythology it's called hell um there's a h-e-l-. No, it's the same hell. Hell, hell. They have heaven. They're like Ragnarok, right? Or no, Ragnarok is the apocalypse. Valhalla is heaven. Yeah, and their heaven is great.

It's just a giant beer hall where you drink and feast forever, and at the end of the night everybody fights to the death, and then they wake up again in the morning alive. That doesn't sound great to me. It's like some of my least favorite things like a really loud tavern lots of drinking and then dying and post

it's like drinking and boasting of like all the cool things you did to like get there and then the real life and you know your real life like back on earth so many repeated stories by like year two wait wait wait sign me up yes he just waits until he's the only one not drunk and then just holds court.

Let's stick with it. Don't start stabbing each other. Fuck. I was once a lifeguard. It was type two fun. Have I told you guys about type two? Yes, yes. You told us about the fun.

If it brings up type two fun again, we're starting the killing alley. Killing you would be type one fun. I haven't read fan feedback. I imagine they're going wild with that. Oh, you know what we should talk about? Finally, Bill Cosby catches a break. At last, that guy has been picked on by our justice system. This is a

decisive victory against racism. Okay. Because he's black and he's getting out of jail. Oh, yeah, yeah. So this, finally, it's about time society recognized his value. Thank God, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we have demonstrated

that Bill Cosby was telling the truth the whole time. That's not even how. Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah, it was a total technicality, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if people don't know, in PKA style, I'll get this about 90% right. Bill Cosby made a deal while they were prosecuting him with the prosecutor

that he would like rat out somebody else i think it was some chick i forget and then the prosecutor seemingly didn't honor that deal so they locked him up and by the way he pled guilty to like three charges of rape like he's a rapist um but his attorney kept working saying hey you what? I know he's a rapist and everything, but we did have a deal. And by being a rat rapist, he should not have had to go to prison. And the judge looked at it and said, yeah, you know what? You're right about that. These things are true.

So you have to let him out immediately. And there were some other things they could have. So in America, there's no double jeopardy. If you get found innocent of something or you get off from it, they can't try you again. But there were other things that they maybe could have tried him for. And the judge also explicitly ruled, leave him alone for that stuff, too. So it is done. It is over.

Bill Cosby's out of jail. Flippant peace signs at drones and shit taking pictures of him and uh and it the man is uh and god you know what's you know it's very funny yeah is that they were saying like his attorney's like bill went totally blind about six and a half years ago first thing you see is bill cosby walking out of prison looking up at a drone and giving a peace sign. He's like George. He's like bending over,

picking up a dime from across the room. Oh, look at that. He does. And he has one like 17 year old Labrador eye, but the other one looks just all milky. And the other eye looks like it's still, you know,

it's not, it's not, it's not good, but he can clearly see drones photoing him. Yeah. Or so I wonder how broken up he is. Like still over the legacy that he has being 100% tarnished. I think he's just happy to be out. Right.

What? He's out. He's, his reputation is restored. Taylor. I don't think you're getting it. That's fair. Yeah.

To be fair, what if they did a reunion? Do you know what the ratings would be on a Cosby show reunion? Oh, they should redo that episode where he does his special sauce that makes people fuck. Oh, yeah. And he's just

sprinkling white powder in there. Everybody's drowsy. They can't Oh yeah, and he's just like sprinkling white powder in there. Like everybody's drowsy. They can't hold their heads up and he's just like waking at the camera at the end of the episode. They'd have to be like an adult swim sketch. He's setting up a camera and a tripod. It's his chili, right?

Seriously, they should have released him. If he made a deal and they said we're going to release you if you give us this deal and he did it, fair's fair. You got a child's toy over there? It's an alarm and I don't... I pressed buttons.

I'm sorry. No worries. It sounded like a little kid's toy or something. I think it's nighttime sleeping sounds like a frog. That was upsetting. Nobody sleeps to that. That sounded like what other what other settings do they have other than forest frog i was hitting buttons randomly i didn't know it was gonna do they have uh traffic they have angry dog who's who sits in the neighbor's yard they have that one

do you have belligerent drunk at the airport bar i love that i need someone yelling about missing their connection to dallas for me to not off it i can't i can't sleep anymore without my uh my rainstorm playing in the background i listen to it every night really it's kind of comforting because i watch a live stream uh it's there's a live stream that's always live on youtube of the same rainstorm and uh you can see how many people are also sleeping to the rainstorm. And I'm comforted by that. I'm like, yeah, me and my buddies are turning in for the night. Me and this quasi sense of community.

It's like when I watch porn and choose the most popular videos. Good selection, my fellow masturbators. Sometimes I'll take a nap in the middle of the day. And it'll be like 387 people with the middle of the day and it'll be like 387 people with me and i'm like my boys y'all we were y'all were tuckered out too and then sometimes it's like two in the morning and there's like 3 000 of us i'm like yep nighttime boys let's get after it do you ever mix it up and do something other than rain and thunderstorms no that's that that's definitely like the one for me like like i I really like lots of thunder and lots of rain.

I've always liked rainstorms. When it rains here, I'm so happy. I don't need my... It is best to sleep. There's something primal, I think, in our minds about knowing we're in shelter and we're safe from the elements that we feel more secure in. Maybe the predators aren't out during the rain. Maybe, but there's something about the big booms of thunder where

it doesn't quite wake you up. When you're falling asleep and you feel that dull vibration, it's nice. My hotel doesn't come with blankets this time. What the fuck? I swear to God. Did it have a door? It has to come with blankets.

Shitty, shitty bed. Okay. I'll try to get this out of the way. One moment. That's such an important part of a hotel is the blanket. Because it's just a sleeping quarters. This is it. This sheet. That's all you get.

Oh, that's trash. That can't be accurate. He needs to call down to the front desk and get that rectified. Yeah, they've got a blanket downstairs. Yeah, Woody, you've got to down to the front desk get that rectified yeah they've got a blanket downstairs yeah woody you got to call the front desk get that rectified tell him this is unacceptable and i will bring a gun to the front lobby hi i'm in 319 is there a blanket we do not have blankets sir uh-huh

I found them thank you look and there they were there they are that's the worst is there a blanket here yeah there's two up on the top of the claws i would have i genuinely would have like grabbed those quickly like ran down to the ice machine put them on top of that and i've been like well they're not here and clearly i'm not i'm not the i didn't say it shitty did i no no you were very you were very polite you're like are

they blankets like yeah you were very polite but I'm just saying that I would be embarrassed if I was like, oh, no. But you haven't slept there before. I did. Last night I slept under that blanket. I was so cold last night. I wore my road suit. The temperature was okay, but I wanted more on me. At home, I have a weighted blanket.

It's like 30 pounds or 40 pounds or something. Here I just more on me. At home, I have a weighted blanket. It's like 30 pounds or 40 pounds or something. Here, I just have a sheet. What if the predators come after me? You use a weighted blanket at night for long-term sleep? Yeah. Do you get hot and sweaty? I can't stand those very long.

Our house is air-conditioned. No, but actually actually, okay. In the winter, it's great. It's so warm. It's like protecting you from the elements. In the summer, I sometimes put a leg out and it functions like a radiator. The blood sort of goes into the airflow,

gets cooled off and comes back. I mean, this is so much nicer of a hotel than you used to stay at oh i picked the good ones for uh the internet connection i used i remember and i know kyle felt the same way we're like you'd be remote and like you're a very well-to-do individual and you'd be like i found this place 51 it's because some idiot canceled because someone was killed next door last night. No, I still do that. The price of the hotel and the quality of the internet are related.

This is a travel lodge, by the way. It's not too... Social engineering, I'm running a speed test now. It's like 14 megabits symmetrical. I found my place. Yeah. If this didn't work, I tested the diners uh internet too i was like i will walk over there and do the show from a diner just constantly getting more food

there's like yeah you know what it's a it's a freaking ice cream sunday episode every hour another one rolls in did you guys uh well the Bill Cosby thing is fucking wild. But in other celebrity news, did you see that Britney Spears, her conservatorship request was denied? The judge said, at this time, we're not removing the conservatorship from her father. And she... Here's an article. There's not really any photos here, so you don't have to put it up, Zach. This is just more for Woody and Kyle if they want to look.

Yeah, she said, I'm trying to find the – yeah, she pleaded to the judge, Britney Spears. She said, I cried on the phone for an hour, and he loved every minute of it, speaking of her father. The control he had over someone as powerful as me, he loved the control to hurt his own daughter 100,000%. He loved it. Spears pleaded to the judge i just want my life back it's

been 13 years and it's enough it's been a long time since i've owned my own money and it's my wish and my dream for all this to end without being tested that's that's fucking the poor woman that sucks on the surface of it i am completely on britney's side I, she's an adult. The conservatorship happened. She was a different person when the conservatorship came. I think, I hope I have this right. She was like shaving her head, going crazy, drinking, kind of needed someone to, you know, manage her life for her. Right. She was out of controls and, and it's tough being a celebrity. Like, I get it, I get it, I get it. Now it seems like she's an adult that's moved on and wants to have a normal life and deserves to have the conservatorship lifted. I wonder, why wasn't it?

What does the judge know? I haven't heard dad's side of this at all. I haven't. All I hear is leave Britney alone. I never hear. All I hear is leave Brittany alone. I never hear, well, actually, just three weeks ago, Brittany tried to kill a puppy with a Lamborghini she was test driving. I never hear why the judge ruled against her. Yeah, I don't know. It was probably that the histrionic fits she was throwing in, what, 16 years ago?

At that point? Is that it because i can see why if i'm right the conservatorship was granted like that i don't know that anyone argues against that why is it still a good idea that i don't i only hear one side of the story all the time it seems fucked up like she has two teenage kids like she's raising them well the thing is she wants another kid and they won't she can't take out her own iud because her she doesn't have control over that that's like torture that's like dude that is like torturous she's trying she's 39 years old she's getting to the end of her run she's not you can't have kids forever oh my god

it's like her cunt of a dad is gonna keep the iud in no that guy's a piece of fucking shit that guy's trash taylor you that was a real i didn't look at it through that lens of her being at the end of her fertility period yeah it's sad really sad yeah like fertility is a big deal like like we all know how useful our hands and feet are we all know how useful our arms and legs are. We all know how useful our arms and legs are. But fertility is like another like function of a animal that you can place great value on. Kyle doesn't. I get it.

But like there's someone else who'd be like, what? My life's incomplete if I can't do this. This is like my instinctive reason for life. This is the meaning. like there are people who feel that way who would rather lose an arm than their fertility and he's fucking with that like and like it's just like my guess is the dad doesn't say anything because he doesn't have a point other than oh i like being the monopoly man of this 400 million dollar empire that my daughter created and i like being the guy in charge.

If he had any data or any video or anything whatsoever, you don't think that that would have got leaked somehow to TMZ? I don't know. The dad might not be saying anything because that's what the lawyer said to do when he's being smart. At the same time, he could just if the crux of the issue was the fertility,

he could just allow her to have a kid. If he's like, yeah, she's sane but I want to hang on to the money, he could just allow her to have a kid if he's like yeah she's she's sane but i want to hang on to the money he could just let her have a kid he shouldn't have to genuinely i'm not arguing that i'm but they're in court right now over him not allowing her to have a kid he could lose his control over everything just because of that issue but she i mean yeah yeah she's demanding full control of her own finances which is like if he would allow her to have a kid kyle saying fudge a little and keep what you have i i get it um i don't know i suspect like i don't know she wants full control why doesn't she deserve full control?

Why did a judge just rule against her? Yeah, it'd be like someone being like, oh, you had a failed suicide attempt when you were a teenager? Well, we're doing a conservatorship, and now you're 40 when you were 40, and be like, I really want my motorcycle. And they'd be like, all right, you can have a motorcycle, but we keep the YouTube money, and we we invest it and we decide where you live. And you're staying in that house at Apex.

You can't handle more than that little guy. That would have to be so condescending and such a horrible feeling. Yeah, that would suck. Yeah, having no autonomy over yourself. Yeah. That blows. It does blow. Oh, I don't have any i guess trump got in trump's entire business got

indicted today or something like that for tax evasion maybe i know there's some tax evasion on the fringe benefits they've been paying out the hotel business or like shit i don't know i watched a few youtube videos on it like like two or three, and I still walked away not fully understanding what was happening. Okay. But they did bring the actual charges. They might bring more severe charges later on, but the maximum penalty is 15 years in jail. But I feel like rich people don't go to jail. Yeah, taxes.

That's how you get rich people to go to jail al capone went to jail for taxes uh what's his name the guy in uh that vampire killing movie he went to jail for taxes wesley snipes wesley snipes yeah i've never watched the movie maybe you're right uh bernie madoff did he go to jail text i don't know probably not probably for stealing but um yeah it's the one thing the government really gets mad at rich people real all about taxes did he go to jail for tax? I don't know. Probably not. Probably for stealing. But yeah, it's the one thing the government really gets mad at rich people for. They're real all about taxes. Unless you like donate enough that you make yourself immune.

I thought that the Trump hotel rooms would be like mind-blowingly nice. I'm looking at like the superior room and yeah, way better than any hotel room I've stayed in. Fair. But I guess like in my head, I was like, this is going to be like, like, can you like what you're looking at? like the superior room and yeah way better than any hotel room i've stayed in fair but i guess like in my head i was like this is gonna be like like can you like what you're looking at yeah yeah i'd like to see it because i i wonder if it's nicer than anything i've ever stayed in the nicest thing oh i haven't it won't be nicer than anything either of you or maybe definitely not kyle i've

been i've been i thought through what do you say you stay in like even worse places than i do but i basically i chose like a mid-range room just to like get the mid-range look at it oh this is nice the kitchen is really nice that surprised me like it's a real i'll say this i bet in new york the price point is this is pretty similar to the nicer places that i'm staying in like like this it looks like it's in manhattan or something like i don't know it looks it's this place is so gaudy though right yeah that's i keep hearing that oftentimes i'll look at something and be like leave it on this picture and i'll be like oh that's nice and other people are like so gaudy so they just nouveau riche ugly you know no sense of style and i'm like i don't i'm like that's kind of what i like go back to the

previous one before this that was the one that looks you have central park there is is pretty fucking cool now that's now this is not the room i was linking there there's no way this is like some suite it's got real fucking furniture in it those are probably real fruit probably real pears is that a real flower i had a i had a really really fucking nice room once in um uh austin um i think it was five thousand dollars a night what was it a ritz no it was um was it the something like wildorf or kilt i don't know it was called the something like Willdorf or Kilt? I don't know. It was called the cattle barons suite. I remember that because like the guy who built the hotel was a cattle baron and he had built that particular like suite or whatever for himself while the

rest of the place was being built around it. And we negotiated with him a little bit. We didn't pay 5,000, but like we split it, we split it two ways. And I think we paid like800 each or something like that because there were four or five of us staying there. It was like multiple bedrooms.

It's like you've got a house inside of a hotel. Was it the Driscoll Hotel? Yeah, I think so. Here's a picture of the Driscoll Hotel. This is nice as hell. Try to find the Cattle Baron suite. I did. This is the Cattle Baron suite. Sick. It's super, super nice as hell. Try to find the Cattle Baron suite. I did. This is the Cattle Baron suite. Sick.

It's super, super nice. Memory. 1,200 square feet. Wait, amenities. 1,200 square feet. Master bedroom with one king. Second bedroom with two queens. Two full bathrooms.

Master bathroom with a clawfoot tub. And second bathroom outfitting a stunning vanity area. Separate living room with large entertainment set. Hardwood floors. Grand dining room with antique table to seat eight oh that is nice yeah i don't think i've ever seen anything this night i i was waiting to queue up my own right there well all right so when i woke up drunk as fuck on the floor of the bathroom i looked and scott was in that tub full of hot water with all of his clothes on. That's great. He was going to get hypothermia

sitting in water overnight. He did. He woke up and was shivering like a motherfucker. Just, oh, oh. It was hot when I got in. He burned a lot of calories that evening. Tried to survive his body freezing. Damn. Yeah, this place is very nice.

$5,000 a night you could i couldn't even enjoy it you'd be so torn up over wasting five we didn't spend five um we got a significant discount because like who the fuck stays in that room and spends that much like we negotiated a bit um and then we split it two ways anyway um but it was like me my dad there was like four of us something like that yeah and scott i i got so drunk because like whatever it's called there that the street where everybody six street i think um like we hit every bar on sixth street and this got blitzed and i was throwing up all fucking night i didn't i didn't sleep in the bed i slept on the bathroom floor it was it was it was an interesting night nicest

room i've ever been in i didn didn't stay there. It was free. I knew someone who knew someone whose dad was a whale, like a really big casino gambler. And they gave him anything. They gave his kid anything. The room must have had like four rooms on it, like that kind of suite. And we were just hanging out there and they were delivering delivering shrimp on ice and hors d'oeuvres and stuff all night long. It was pretty neat to be in the

radius of a rich person. Once in Vegas, I got a pretty big suite. They had the sunken living room and everything. That was pretty nice. The Caesar. I don't know. I've never been to Vegas. That's the one I remember caesar i don't know i've never been to

vegas that's the one i remember from you ever been to vegas no luxor interesting we could do a vegas trip someday if you want because they've got weed there i only vacation in places that have marijuana i would just do it to like hang out and like try and find activities i just i genuinely have no interest in gambling it's i just i just don't have you ever gambled like i on a cruise ship i gambled like over the course of like four nights maybe like two hundred dollars total and it was like this is fun like for the like the socializing aspect and stuff but like this is just losing money i would have just as much fun socializing with someone sitting over there in the wonderful evening sky like oh how are you like i think gambling's fun i like the social part of it uh it can be though that it's like too

expensive per hour like i don't know you know i can really enjoy a two-hour movie for 14 dollars in this two-hour gambling session you know it was 80 yeah and i didn't realize like how many people go on cruises just to gamble because like i think the three times i went to the scene maybe it was only twice it would be like i shouldn't be able to recognize people from like on a cruise ship but it's like yeah those fucking old people they were in those they've camped out their spot i guess for the whole week they're they're not going in the sun they're not going in the pool they're just fucking gambling the whole i have no interest in a cruise ship.

There's nothing on there that I would enjoy at all. I think a bunch of the Patreon guys are going on some sort of a booze cruise and they invited me and I'm just like, that sounds horrific. There are cruises

for singles. Wait, hear me out. There are cruises for single. No, no, no. They're going on like a carnival. Wait, hear me out. Okay. There are cruises for single people. What would Kyle like on cruises? Pussy. Sluts. Yeah.

It's not worth it. STD. If I can't have weed with the sluts, it's no fun because there's sluts everywhere, but there's not weed everywhere and there's no weed on the cruise line. There's fucking alcohol. I bet you're right. I didn't consider that. Yeah.

They stop in places, obviously, where you can get out and like get some weed or whatever but i'm not breaking any laws i'm not gonna like bring some weed back onto the boat or anything like that i'm not getting yeah that's needless i don't know how that works you know i don't know exactly how it works either um but but yeah i'm not interested in that because i don't like alcohol um i'm certainly not gonna play shuffleboard i don't like swimming uh that much um ping pong sucks in a windy cruise deck it does be interesting like an alaskan cruise like like if we're if we're seeing some cool shit uh i could see that being interesting i do like sightseeing and seeing like

stuff i've never seen before um but yeah that doesn't really interest me like what you'd like a mediterranean cruise then perhaps i think they're doing some kind of a Bahama thing. I think those are fairly cheap. And Dirty, he gambles so much that I think he gets good rates for those cruise liners that do the gambling and stuff. But yeah, that's not for me.

Yeah, to each their own. Vegas, I don't even like, if I'm being honest. But it is an experience that you should have. I've been probably three, four times well you would you enjoy playing poker and so you probably have some fun there I played like one time I think in Vegas I sat down at like the the one two no limit tables and and played just a couple hours or something like that I think I just like broke even I didn't really make any money didn't really lose any money but um it was it was not a lot of fun because i wasn't with anybody else who was playing i was just by myself killing time i was there for shot show which is like the biggest

gun show in the world it's like every company that has anything to do with firearms is there like uh selling their stuff uh and like pushing their stuff to like magazine editors and and like media people and stuff like that so there's everything from real tree to like smith and wesson to like the stuff that they sell to police departments like less lethal grenades and shit like that everything's there so i was there for that just killing time at the poker tables um and then the other times i've been it was just it was always something like that when i went out there to do that shit with dan bulzerian um but but i've never really had fun out there because i don't i hate strippers um i i don't like whores like actual whores who want money to for you to fuck them and uh and i'm not into hard drugs and

they didn't have weed at the time so there's like really nothing for me to do in vegas i think vegas is neat somewhat just for the like the the – it sounds gay, right? Like, ooh, the lights. Are there other shiny objects you're fascinated by? No. You really got to see it. Like, the strip is lit up. It's a show.

You know, if you think that walking through the freaking Christmas lights in Walt Disney World is neat, then you would also have to be impressed with what Vegas has going on. That was my favorite thing, if I'm being honest it sounds super lame but um whatever hotel we were staying at one time i had a really nice room with a balcony and it was overlooking like across the street was where they have like the pirates thing with like the pirate ship that like explodes and sinks every night over and over and like all the fireworks so you've got like a continuous like fireworks show across the street um and like like i don't know a pirate ship sinking so like that gets a little old after the fifth sixth time you've seen it sinking it was cool the first few times yeah vegas is pretty neat i mean like in terms of just all right i went up the freedom tower

in new york city and i was was just in awe of a mankind creation. All these buildings. New York is so tall. 37-story buildings in New York are unremarkable. A waste of valuable real estate at only 37 stories tall. And you go to the Freedom Tower and you just see the sea of this. It goes out forever. It's cool. Vegas has a similar type thing. It's not as big, of course, but you're standing on the ground, you're looking at it, you're like, someone did

all this. This is like a mankind creation. It's really something else. Yeah, because like with New York, it was there, right? It was a port or whatever. It still is. And it made sense. It was a center of commerce. It grew over the centuries almost, the last two. But Vegas, it was like a bunch of fucking gangsters were like, this land's

pretty cheap, huh? Politicians are pretty easy to buy as well. Let's just build a gigantic city out here in the middle of no fucking way why is vegas in vegas is that how it went down essentially yeah yeah no everyone knew this but me all right yeah i never even considered like why is there a city in las vegas because some mobsters wanted to move out west and uh and and have a place to like run lot of gambling, legal gambling,

and do their illegal shit at the same time. They've got legal weed there now, which is huge. They should have been first. They should have been first. They're Sin City. And now they're getting sports teams, which is smart too. It's on

my short list of places to move to, but I can't deal with the desert area it's very cheap to live there especially if you're not like downtown what is it about the desert you hate it i get like uh my like nose bleeds after a couple days and like it's like you were talking about like the boogers you were getting on your ride like these crustacean boogers that are like you and when you finally get it out there's like blood on the tip and your nostrils bigger it's like oh I remember

like a butt plug for your nose like pulling barnacles off the hull of a ship that's so rough and horrible that is nice it's the same feeling you get like when it's like four days after you land on an airplane and then randomly your ear pops and you're like oh nice like I forgot that I lost this and now it's like four days after you land on an airplane and then randomly your ear pops and you're like, oh, nice.

Like, I forgot that I lost this and now it's back. Four days. Goodness, you're suffering. Every once in a while, it takes my ears a long time to pop. It sucks. So now I always bring gum on the plane. Have you guys been to Mount Rushmore?

No. Did you? Or wait, did you? Was it unremarkable? My guess would be that. I'm going tomorrow. I'm going tomorrow to Mount Rushmore. Tomorrow we have like a 500 mile day, which is

pretty big. We're going to Mount Rushmore. And then I think after that we're going to split up. He's going to... There's a ferry in Wisconsin that pretty much takes him to where his wife will be vacationing and he wants to do that. And I want to get home. But it's going to be like highways.

It's no real risk. So tomorrow we'll go to Mount Rushmore. We'll stay somewhere near home. And so, but it's going to be like highways. It's no real risk. So tomorrow we'll go to Mount Rushmore. We'll stay somewhere near that. And then I'll head home. I've heard Mount Rushmore is pretty cool. Like I've heard really the thing I've heard from people who've seen it is like, it is so much bigger than you imagine it is like, Oh,

I expected it to be smaller than I imagined. I'm a happy to now I'll let you know what i think i hope i didn't set it up but i've had friends who went and they're like i thought it was going to be like some kind of bullshit car no that's the side of a fucking bluff the side of a mountain i expected it to be like the mona lisa where like all those close-up pictures make it look big but then you get there and the thing is like eight inches by six you see the old you see the old photos of like people working on like the final carvings and it's like is that a person who looks like

a teeny booger like like really like it's it's wild yeah i've obviously never seen it like i said but uh my my impression of it has always been that it's probably smaller than you know you would think it is i've always seen those pictures of Native Americans flipping at the bird and stuff like that. I always wish they'd hit those guys with a hose. Ah, just sore losers. Sore losers. That's funny.

I guess that's the thing in Canada right now. They gave me the number of acres in the park. No one's looking for that data. No one's looking for that data. Please tell me how big Custer National Forest is. Dude, not Rushmore? You're going to be blown away. 1,278 acres.

Let's keep it not that big. It's not helpful. 1,200 acres for a national park. Okay. Yeah, there's really not much to do other than look at the thing. I hate Idaho. Of all the states i've ever been in idaho is the worst fucking state i've ever visited i like to live in there it was nice

oh you are wrong you didn't like it the the the traffic is terrible every intersection in idaho you know how there'll be like five cars that go by but they're perfectly spaced like four of them just wide enough that you can't go in between them and then the last one makes a turn that's every intersection in idaho the prices are super the gas is expensive hotels are everything's fucking expensive and it's just idaho the people in idaho they talk to you like they're your equal they don't even like seem to realize they should be embarrassed that they're from idaho the bugs in idaho are dreadful they didn't like it i have a picture of my motorcycle helmet i could get it for you guys but i can hardly see i get florida i get it bugs are

the price you pay for you know year-round warm weather yeah idaho where do you have the audacity to present that many bugs to the people driving around? Everything about Idaho is just missing expectations. I was told it was going to be a good state. The roads are poorly maintained as well. Idaho blows. How you can have heavy traffic in rural farmland, I don't get. I don't get.

Why does the traffic suck here so bad when there's farms to my left and to my right their roads are terrible literally the thing i remember hating about idaho more than anything was that like i thought here like in missouri like everywhere else i've drived like driven like when you're like turning off the road into a subdivision or anything you just turn and there's probably there's usually like a slight incline to get up into the parking lot from the road every fucking place in idaho has a dip like a bullshit uh like rain collection thing because they have terrible rain collection because they don't get enough rain so they just do a bullshit

thing so you go good dunk good dunk pulling in every single place in idaho when you pull off the road there's a divot that you have to go and often they're so poorly done i remember i still drove a 300 at the time i remember like one turn i regularly had to make it was just like damn i tell you i scratched my scratched it again you know thank god the cars like going class like yeah that it was the roads were terrible the people i liked and boise where i lived uh i just like when i would go downtown obviously teeny tiny downtown area but like it was safe it was clean there were hardly i remember talking to my buddy and being like man this place is nice like i haven't seen a single homeless

person he's like ah you don to see the homeless, man? You got to go under the bridge on 17th. And I was like, your entire problem is relegated to the bridge on the 17th? Really? I stayed at the Budget Inn in Boise, Idaho. It was $240 a night, and it was bullshit. It smelled like cigarettes. There was a cigarette hole in the comforter, and it was bullshit it smelled like cigarettes there was a cigarette hole in the comforter and it was like dirty uh when you're checking you have to pay security deposit and to get your security

deposit back you have to check out i haven't checked out of another single motel on this whole trip you have to check out and i stand there at parade rest while they inspect everything turn it on the tv opening the closet see that the microwave is still functional the refrigerator store yeah and i sit there the whole time just like being just i was like should i have made the bed they're like no we got people for that it was like it's the worst it was the worst fucking every day in idaho was worse than the day before and so and as i got out of Idaho, Wyoming was still not great.

Like the traffic was, I was like, there's 600,000 people in Wyoming and I've seen 600,000 already. What has happened? I can explain it. Idaho crept in a little bit. All I had to do was get deeper into Wyoming and things got better. Yeah.

Well, I mean, Idaho, apparently like tons of people are moving there and they don't have the because it's uh it's low cost of living uh it's safe and not if you stay at the budgeted and so like i remember like like everybody there hated californians where they would be like like i remember driving with like one of my bosses we were going somewhere and it's just like you know passing normal neighborhoods and then you see like a house, like 500 yards,

all its own space, a palace. And he's like, some fucking actor just bought all that. I don't remember which one it is, but it was, it was some like real action. Like really?

He's like, Oh, they, they all move here and they buy Idaho property and it's fucking bullshit. And they, they buy all the mountain space. And then you have to be an actor. Every house in California is like two and a half million dollars.

You move to Idaho, you build a palace yeah you could and and that's why people are moving there because they're like hmm bullshit house built in 1978 in cali i'll take one built in 2021 to my own specs thank you very much yeah so yeah i'd like to live in there it was it was nice and clean uh but yeah not a ton not a ton to do i'm blown away you experienced traffic like what i lived there for two years it was such a pain in the earth like i guess i moved there like eight years ago now almost and or i guess yeah eight years and it was like i loved that driving every morning it was just whip it right where you need to go maybe it's maybe it's blown up since then. And it wasn't like heavy traffic. If you're thinking traffic jam, listener, I know you're

probably not. But if you're thinking traffic jam, that's not it. It's not that you're stuck there with cars everywhere. It's that every time you need to like, say, make a left. Well, there's two lanes of traffic in front of you, one of those center yellow things and where you can like turn in and then two lanes of traffic on the other side. The cars are just coming at you quick enough that you can't go between them. It only takes eight cars to make you wait three

minutes or some sort of bullshit like that. Maybe I'm exaggerating. It was just... I was so happy to leave Idaho. We took a rest day in Idaho the day we bought the motorcycles. And it just stretched it. Oh, and then it was hot.

It was fucking hot. It was like 110 on the pavement. Well, right now, maybe you've heard in the news, that heat wave that's killing everyone in Seattle. And Idaho is hot, too. So that maybe impacted my opinion of Idaho. If it was a beautiful 82 degrees, I think I'd like it more.

People are dying in Seattle from a heat wave. I didn't even know about this. Yeah, no, it's like a record setting super heat wave thing over a hundred. That's really hot in Seattle. I would think. How hot?

I'm going to spell how. Nice. The Pacific Northwest is melting now. A little dramatic there. 104 is crazy hot for Seattle. I fucking hate these articles where I just want to learn why it's hot in Seattle. And the articles like, the year's 1971. The breeze is blowing and the locals in Portland are just waking up to enjoy their classic Seattle coffee.

I made that up, but that's basically what it is. It's fucking nonsense. This intro. This vignette. We don't need a vignette. Just say it's hot. Sun's too bright what's a vignette um gracefully told article a short story okay yeah what's an there's a novel word too like a novella

yeah yeah that's like a short novel and well it's longer than a vignette um they should call it a nav yet and so nav yet i don't know have you been following what's going on in canada uh yeah they're getting their asses handed to him in the stanley cup final oh not that um so i guess so the backstory is that um way back when uh when they had all those indigenous peoples, the Canadian government would scoop up children and try to make them into good old Canadian boys. Little Ontario boys.

Put a stick in their hands. Yeah, put a stick in their hands and get them out on the ice. I guess it didn't take. Lately, they keep finding these mass graves full of children because I guess they didn't take. So lately they keep finding these mass graves full of like children. Because I guess, you know, they exterminated a few of them. And so like in response, someone is burning down churches in Canada.

But they weren't real people, right? They were savages? Savage Canadians. How many church burnings is it up to is this like an epidemic is it who that i know of but i'm not following i don't have my like finger on the pulse of the of the canadian savage reprisals that are currently in the works uh but uh but yeah i i was you know a lot of canadians in the in the 50 and they were like yeah you know we'd i guess we'd scoop them up, start teaching

them French or English or depending on what part of the country they were in. You think they'd be better students if they understood the consequences? You would think so, but they all ended up in these mass graves. I don't know how many are in a mass grave of savage Canadians.

That's a good point. Sometimes they say mass shooting and there's two people. Yeah, two people. the third one was a suicide was him shooting himself that's not a mass shooting that's uh you don't have to really if you can if you can that's just atlantic city high school on a wednesday there you go zach says four churches so uh so that's a spree that's a spree it's a church burning spree uh One more and he gets an airstrike. I wasn't sure what you were getting with that. I hadn't decided quite where I was going. Three more and it's a Harrier.

I was going to go Halo, call it a Kiltacular, but something got the better of me. Is that an overkill right now? Four is an overkill, right? I don't know. I never got that high. I think Kiltacular. I think Kilt it's a one i think what's a one you've had a lot of one streaks peppered with even more deaths in halo i'm pretty sure like like i got a bunch of overkills because i think that's four and i think maybe i got maybe two

kill tax ever but like i used to watch those uh halo youtubers and i'd get so fucking pumped watching those montages of them just stringing together kill apocalypse just looks like all of it that that announcer's got the best voice ever like you know i remember watching some of those highlights and like having in my head like did they edit those in because i had never experienced like uh 20 like killdozer did they add that in the post and it's like no that's killdozer. Did they add that in the post? And it's like, no, that's just a world you'll never see. I think the biggest one, which is like maybe 10, and it's been years since I've played Halo,

so I'm probably a little off here, but I think it might be a killionaire. And if I remember correctly, if you keep getting more kills after killionaire, it just keeps saying Killianaire. So I think I remember a montage where the guys were just like, Killianaire, Killianaire, Killianaire. It's so fun to watch those, especially back in Halo 2. Halo 2 required a lot more skill than Halo 3 because there were button combos.

They should have called it a multi-Killionaire. That would have been cool. Sure. There's button combos in uh halo 2 that allow you to make the weapons do things that they're not supposed to do but they're very challenging to do um like a bxr is exactly what it sounds like you press bx and then the right trigger button uh like in the perfect timing and it does this move where he melees somebody cancels the melee animation and quickly shoots so you can melee knock their shields down and then one burst them in the head and it's like an insta kill for like close range uh and then there's like double shot which is when you make the br which the br is the three round burst assault rifle

uh it's like the meta for like pro play or it was and uh you could make it double shot so you could you could cancel the animation yeah uh the the the it's the rate of fire like pause because you can shoot and there's that gap in between but if you um i don't remember exactly how to do it i think it was yy i think you like shoot yy shoot is the way you do a double shot if i remember correctly it's again many years but like good players could do that i could do that but i couldn't hit anything with it. Cause I was, I don't, I didn't play with the claw.

The claw is like a really weird way to like grip your controller where like a lot of your pointer fingers are up on top of the buttons. And I don't play that way. Cause that's, it was uncomfortable. Yeah. Um, but like the crazy pros could quad shot so they could make the BR just go

full auto for four bursts and keep it on a player's head. Who's moving. And it was just insane to watch him do it it was so it was so cool and then halo probably isn't modded controllers they were more impressive than call of duty montages because of the amount of like consistency in the hits whereas cod it was like one off one off one off one off like and it's like okay these people could have all been really bad at aiming whereas halo it's like you just tricked him with like a fake jump to the right and then somehow you made

it back to the left and you still while going left maintained your or the stuff they do with a sniper rifle because like i was i was okay at first person shooters i always have been just like like pretty good like like i was a level i think i said this last week i was i was a level 45 in like two or three game of halo i i don't know if the top is 55 or 50 but i was okay it was much better than average i could never use that fucking sniper rifle put that little bitty circle on a guy's head who's like jumping around and moving and like get it to do anything but you'd watch the pros and they'd just be like sweep shotting people just just and and and that announcer's just like going off he's like running out of breath they're going so fucking fast it's i

remember halo's very simple there was a halo pro named pistola and yeah i think it was pistola it's very close to that anyway he was like the coolest halo pro to me he was uncool but so uncool it like circled around and became cool again. He looked super young. I don't know if he was. And Optic Hex brought me to like an MLG tournament and Pistola

came up to Optic Hex like he was cool. And it elevated Optic Hex and they did it. They had a handshake they did. And I'm like, the fuck? He's got a secret handshake that he does with pistola? Optic Hex is cooler than I do. Does it end with finger guns?

They're backing away from each other slowly doing double finger guns. It was obvious it was a pretty complicated handshake and they both knew it. It was cool. I've never had a secret handshake with anybody. I've been with Colin. If I did, I wouldn't talk about it. cool i've never had a secret handshake with anybody i've been with colin um if i did i wouldn't talk about it maybe i do have a secret handshake uh what was i gonna say uh oh i liked

mlg halo a lot even when i lived and breathed call of duty when i go to the mlg events and they had halo there dude it it just plays well competitively. So it was fun. It does. It's much better competitively than COD just by its very nature. The fact that you're not always just one tapping everyone or just insta spraying people down. Even maps. And the maps are much more skillful.

The game modes are like the way capture the flag works and stuff. Yeah. It's a much more skillful. The game modes are, like the way Capture the Flag works and stuff like that. It's a much more skillful game, much better to watch. If you're watching COD and you don't know anything about FPS, you might get confused about what's actually fucking happening. But if you watch Halo, especially from a spectator's point of view, like, oh yeah, they're capturing

the blue team is trying to get the flag across to the red team. The fact that everybody's wearing those suits and it's blue versus red like and in in halo even though i didn't really play i was never lost watching the gameplay like i could tell who who was where on the map and i didn't you know it was easy in cod if you don't know the maps like you don't even know where the guy is you can't tell what's going on. You talk about skillful. That was why I never fell in love with call of duty montages because they would like just luck montage. You know,

Oh, did you know scope with a sniper rifle across the map? Yeah. I know you missed that shot 37 times before you hit it. So at the beginning, like that. So that's what's got, what got me into YouTube in the very beginning was watching Zer Grizz. that that's why i bought my first capture card that that's why i got into

the game at all um and into youtube at all was watching exactly yeah and he was like the only one doing it and but but when it had become like a whole thing and people were uh you know everybody was in those sniper lobbies doing ridiculous shit. It was just ridiculous. Do you remember that other guy? The fake stuff? Yeah, Optic Predator. He used to make a ton of those montage videos, except exactly to Kyle's point,

he'd watch some and be like, man, this is really neat. And then he'd watch and be like, every single person he's killing also has a sniper rifle. Yeah, and he would do like daily montages and you know like oh did you get a one streak like they were just collateral damage that would just like one good shot it was a good shot i get it was a nice quick scope but that guy also it was a quick scope in a sniper lobby and yeah you know yeah and then like the bounce stuff like like oh did you jump off a ladder change weapons do that weird thing where you bounce off a car's

windshield into the air and then hit a shot that felt kind of lucky and you know what was funny about that is sometimes you would see those videos of the sniper doing like the ladder thing and as they're jumping and spinning you can see three other people the sniper doing like the ladder thing and as they're jumping and spinning you can see three other people already up their way the ladder to do the exact same thing it's just try it enough and it'll happen eventually like that's all it was yeah that was a really cool thing for me like like i know a lot of us like kind of started youtube and we had heroes or whatever and then we got to meet those people and whether they lived up to the like what we thought of them or not is is is neither here nor there but like just having the opportunity

to meet them and play with them and stuff was always really cool and like that was that i got to do that with zerk riz a lot like like i was such an early fan of his that i sent him an xbox message and asked if i could play with him and he was like yeah yeah and sent me a friend request like i was so early on in the like that i made the cut and uh and you know i'd be he'd be drunk every night playing he played on a big screen tv um like like uh which was a ridiculous thing to do right you know he played on like i started at the time a 60 inch tv was just so pimp because they were so you know he was just drunk the whole time going for no he was a big drinker.

I bet Kyle was thinking that when he said whether or not they live up to that expectation. He kind of drank a lot. Oh, I didn't mind that. I didn't mind it because he was like a social drinker. And he was always like he never got mad at the game at all. He had like a group of guys that were all cool. And everybody was just like having a good time. They were all drinking beers and enjoying themselves. One night he'd be trying to hit this shot, the next that shot.

He'd spend the whole night trying to get a quad feed with a scorpion, something like that, which is rather skillful. That's a little different. That's really hard. It's a silly no scope thing. Scorpion has like four bullets in it. Good luck with the quad feed. I think I literally had 20 and

you had to hit all of them like center chest right yeah they do 50 damage each uh and uh but only at very close range and the fall off is like 10 meters and then um you know when we went and did that um we went to la for like the e3 awards or whatever and uh i was presenting an award for like game of the year or something like that and mike was there too i don't know if he was mike's or graysboro man and uh and you know like me and him and uh kitty and uh only use me blade and maybe one or two other people like went to went out to dinner afterwards and and mike just was so shit-faced that like when we were waiting on the food to come back he said he was going to the bathroom, but he went outside to smoke a cigarette and they got lost in the streets of LA.

This dude's from Milwaukee or something like that. I don't remember exactly where, but he is not accustomed to the mean streets of LA. Not like I am either, but he got lost. We never found him. We never found him. To this day, he's unaccounted for.

Yeah, still unaccounted for. R.I.i.p r.i.p in memoriam like he just absent chat and i was like blades like eating a sandwich like hungrily and i'm like where's mike man we've lost and he's just like you know we'll catch up with him later man we'll look into it i it. I gotta fill my sandwich. We'll look into it. We're gonna circle back on that. Literally, he's like, we'll circle back to finding Mike and where he's... I'm like, I went to the bathroom. I checked the stalls.

He ain't in there. And like when he called him up on the phone, Mike's like, I don't know where I am. And we're like, what do you see? And he's like, buildings. Dodgers? Who knows? Do you see who knows do you see the hollywood sign or like like any like i don't know what the fucking landmarks are in la i've been here like twice before it's homeless person

near me that's not helping i see a homeless guy and uh i smell urine okay you're in la we got that now the homeless problem so joe rogan talks about it a lot i still don't understand it like why are there so many homeless people is this a problem that can be solved is it weather related right are are people traveling to places where it's better to be homeless for sure there was a thing this was literally in boise i was talking to someone they're like you know boise had some homeless people for a while. They gave them one-way bus tickets to Salt Lake City. Is that true or a rumor? I've heard that said. I've heard that said, and I don't think there's anything illegal about moving homeless people around. But if I were homeless, you bet your ass I'm living in California or Florida or somewhere. I'm not going to be

Minneapolis homeless, my God. Right. No one wants to be Rochester, New York homeless. That's why I think that Northern homeless are scary homeless. Because the homeless are the mentally ill homeless. I think that if you're homeless because, I don't know, what's a good reason to be homeless? Maybe you don't know. What's a good reason to be homeless? Maybe you don't believe in working. I'm sure there's a homeless guy out there right now who's like, I'm not buying into that system, man.

I got a bunch of people living in vans, I know. That's a little different, though. They worked until they didn't have to anymore, and now they live in a van. This guy worked until he didn't want to anymore, and now he lives on the street. There's a difference.

There's a little difference. How long is that guy going to last when he's like, are you guys also like, you're not going to comply with the system, bro? And he's like, I'm a heroin addict. I'm a heroin addict, and I dabble in rape. And it's like, oh, so you're not here because you didn't want to work for a shitty company so i see you're out mr cosby yeah i'm an insane person and i dabble in collecting roadkill plenty of those out there too like oh way more than the the why are there so many homeless people in la right like it could be the zach says busing was a real thing all right so you got busing you got

a huge population right because it's a massively populated area so you're just going to have more pop more homeless based on that per capita there's x amount of homeless sure why a number of people out there on the streets um and then obviously it's just a good place to live because of the wealth there's a lot of rich people there so if you want a handout good place to be there's there they're so liberal there that there there is infrastructure to support the homeless to some extent i think it's just a there are a lot of things that make that attractive can they get away with a lot more there the way they can in like seattle we're like i think so i think it's super liberal i mean we all know that um it is i was even meaning like police stuff too

like i don't think police uh like shut down homeless camps and stuff in la the way they do like if a homeless encampment popped up even in like fucking st louis they would probably be like all right i didn't know we're not going to congregate here i think kyle was referring to a similar thing like they're just a little kinder to the homeless and the liberal places yeah but i think there's also like a really good infrastructure there in place with soup kitchens and outreach programs.

Is infrastructure part of the solution or is it part of the problem? Because the way you're laying it out there, it almost seems like part of the problem. And I'm like, if you asked me to solve the homeless issue, I'm like, I'm kind of stumped.

This is a tricky one. How do we get- We need to reopen asylums, all the ones that Reagan shut down that led to an explosion in the homeless population because there's not... I would wager and I think there's probably mountains of data to support this that the overwhelming majority

of people who are homeless they're addicts or they're mentally ill. It's not like they could walk in to Hertz and be like, I want to wash cars. They're going to be like, no, no. Like they're not maybe enterprise. Yeah.

Maybe enterprise. They're going to need to go to, to that budget. Yeah. Like, like budget or it's always like enterprise hurts budget, uh, fucking thrifty.

And then there's one guy where it's like Rinaldo or, or Steve's Steve's rental cars. Uh, or at least there was something like that in, in Idaho where it was like, you drive by and it's like ronaldo or or steve's rental cars uh or at least there was something like that in idaho where it was like you drive by and it's like who the hell's renting from like you know steve smith's auto uh but anyway yeah i would say reopen the insane asylum probably isn't the right thing to call it now but reopen the asylums and these people need to be like kept there and cared for and got off the drugs if they if they opt to if they opt and they're like i want to get my life under control let's you know let's let's help them do that instead of kind of keeping them mired in a shitty situation on the street

which and you know even saying keeping them is weird because it's not in a lot of these situations like the damage is already done they're a war veteran with problems or they have inherent mental disabilities or schizophrenia that you can't really overcome so yeah it is complicated and the bigger the country gets the more this is gonna be a problem i would imagine it seems like like cities are gathering that problem like it's mostly city problem it starts off in la and maybe seattle i don't know like you know the big city and then it's like propping up in austin it's popping up in new york it's probably like there's more cities gather that issue and um yeah i don't know how to solve it they should like have like some sort of

asylum where it's like okay they can go there and they get heat and cool and shelter and food and like they give them like a little menial job or something something to keep them occupied or working or like they're the same way they do like halfway houses where it's like oh someone you know was addicted to crack and so they go to a halfway house and while they're living there they have to maintain like a menial job and they can't test positive for crack and it's like you kind of wean them back into society and try and help them out. I like it.

I like it. I think that's good. I'm always cautious about giving people jobs because they compete with people who have to earn jobs. Right. So like if we think about prisoners, like, all right, you know, why don't we have prisoners build roads? They'd like it. Maybe cheap labor. It's cool. Then there's some road builder out there like the fuck.

Like I do this for a living asshole. now i have to compete against free labor how am i gonna do that i mean i guess that's why they do like ditch digging and stuff like that right i don't like i mean that's uh from what i learned from oh brother Where Art Thou. Yeah, they smash those rocks and stuff. Yeah. They sing the songs and then they never... You get a time off for good harmonics. That's something that's sorely missing in a lot of prison movies. They need a Christmas movie.

They'll have the group in the prison and there'll be one crazy guy. They need to pump those numbers. There's way more than the goofy guy on the block. There's a ton of fucking like mentally ill people in prison. So they need to fix that. That'd be more realistic. Have the crazy almost outnumber the,

the crims. I don't remember. I don't think there were any crazies in prison with me, which I guess makes sense because like you, you kind of have to be a good boy to, to get lowered down to the prison camp. I don't think there were. Everybody seemed like they had their shit together.

I mean, there were people who were like – Had their shit together. I mean, they were criminals. The people I served time with were winners. Yeah. I mean, they're not winners or anything, but you get what I'm saying. They're not like shitting their pants or anything like that. They're not talking to themselves at night.

There's no crazy stuff. Well, the pants shitting... Your roommate talked to himself all the time. He did! God, and he smelled like... He's my favorite character from the Kyle Prison Story. That guy fucking sucked. You know who I want to get back on the show really bad

is Sean Atwood. That guy is so fucking entertaining. He has all the stories. He's great. Accents on point. I love it. I love Sean Atwood. I've watched some of his videos recently. He talks about like

Epstein stuff sometimes. He talks about everything. I stuff sometimes. Like he talks about everything. He gets, I act like I'm an expert. I've watched like a handful of videos. I really don't know. But like any kind of crime he'll dip his toe into. Keep waiting for the Epstein murder to, you know, kind of like come back.

And I don't, on the internet, it's never lost the news. I'm reminded all the time that he didn't kill himself. It's a meme and it pops up on Reddit three times a week. But in the mainstream world, that's a dead story. For sure. Yeah, they don't want to. Like, when that was first coming out, you remember that leaked video from, I think it was ABC. It was a news anchor, a woman, who was off the air at the time sitting there like,

and this story's coming out right now and we didn't get the lead and i talked to the producer or my executive producer years and years ago when we had this and they told us not to run it and it's just and she was obviously coming at it from the point of like we had this juicy story and they shut me down they wouldn't let us report on it with national news and now it's got out anyway and like she was more just aggravated that the story wasn't available anymore but it was like oh so yeah this shit happens all the time where someone's like hey you know something happened should we talk about this no no actually if you talk about that you're fired and we're going to brand you a conspiracy theorist like you don't

want that is it because she didn't have like multiple sources interact together because the man was trying to protect epstein like it could have been either it probably because the man's trying to protect Epstein the guy ran a sex island for elites are all over the world you'd say it like it's bad it's pretty rough and he had that like

ghoulish temple on there it's like what's that about he's not going there I don't like your pejorative description of his temple either. That shit was pimp. I mean, the colors were cool. The nice stark comparison of the blue and the white lines, if I recall,

with the little dome on the top. There was a little bit of a gaudy gold roof. That's my style, though. Looking at real estate in Colorado, I think we talked about this before, but I did find that church that was for sale that was like i don't remember what it cost like 200 grand and you've got a church and it was like made and it had like i mean it's a church like like it has the pews and like like like the altar and the big crucifix and everything and then there's like a cottage in the back for like you know the preacher i, or whatever to live in. There's living quarters.

I was just like, man, what if I... This could be cool. Why would you buy and live in a church? How many days in? Please, open floor plans are all the rage, Taylor. You throw out all those pews. I don't know. You do something with that. You could open a theater.

No. I don't like people enough do something with that. You could open a theater. No. I don't like people enough to be – No, it's just for you. There's one lazy boy in the middle with a mini fridge with all your – What would you do? I think I'd make a studio apartment out of it, just a really big one. Open floor plan, like everything is laid out there. The Church of Kyle.

Oh, my God. How are we not – Yeah, I mean that was the idea. This should be a PKA expense. We should buy it for it. It was pretty interesting, but I wouldn't. I bet it's drafty as far. Patreon gold.

If it hits 25K, Kyle buys a church. I don't think he actually wants it. Imagine having to maintain a church once you're in there. Who means? it's 25 grand and Kyle will buy a quarter million dollar church well I I don't think the world

financially anymore Kyle the internet at your church house sucks they did it intentionally so people would listen to the bullshit and not be on their phone you know i guess i would have services i guess that would be the way to like make the because then i'm tax-free honestly you know what church wouldn't be that bad nowadays with phones i haven't been to

church really since smartphones were that new but like man as a kid it was brutally just just so boring but like if you if i was a little kid with an iPad, that would have flown by. Or Magic. Yeah. You'd be playing Magic at church. I bet you'd like church. Yeah. I would have gotten mad when they'd be like, oh, it's time to stand up and pretend to sing.

I'd be like, it's turn four and combos are about to go off. So I'm not doing that but is magic time can you no it is not timed most games uh it's wildly variable like some game like i won a game last night in a minute and 10 seconds and what if i'm an asshole and i take four minutes per turn there's a time limit on turns so sometimes sometimes, and I've noticed this particularly with people in the game who have Chinese or Korean or Japanese characters in their name, that those sore fucking losers, like,

so this is the way it goes, Woody. Let's say you're playing me in magic and turn four, it becomes wildly apparent to me that you're getting set up and that there's nothing for me to come back from. I, if I play every card perfectly, you're already too far into your combos. You're too far into your progress. There's no way for me to win. So me getting set up, is it good for me?

It's good. Yes. And so you're setting up your tactics and I see we're already five minutes in, he's all set up. You know what? Instead of conceding or playing it out normal speed, trying to come back, I'm'm gonna sit there and make him wait the full minute every single turn and i'll burn through my time out and hope that he quits out of frustration of waiting in anticipation like maybe this person is a normal person who just wants to play magic and we'll go i don't want this is bullshit i'm getting out and then that person who was holding out gets the win this This happens very frequently. And it is, Kyle, have you noticed? It is a fucking trend.

If there are Asian characters up there and you start to win, it's like, all right, this fucking bitch is going to sit there. And I never back out. I will, in those situations, when it becomes to be my turn, instead of playing one more card to win, I will set up everything I have, and then I'll pass the turn back to him. And I'll be like, I decided I don't want to win this turn. Same. And then it'll be like, now you're wasting your time, bitch. Like, I know what you're doing. Another thing that I like doing, you can only say certain words to people in Magic.

You can say, like, good game. Hello. Nice. Oops. And, like, you're up and every once in a while you'll like misplay something really bad or like select the wrong thing and the other person will just say nice and it's like no that makes me so much madder than any shit talk ever just like me misplaying or misclicking a card or making a stupid bonehead move.

And then that person just going nice as they like counter it. What's the game that we play soccer with cars? Rocket League. That's the same thing. You can only say a few things, but like if you miss a shot stupidly, nice shot. Nice shot. Nice shot. Yeah, it was more frustrating.

They thought I wish the guy just would have been like they called me gay or something like nice it's like i come from call of duty and somehow that hurt my feelings couldn't you called me the n-word my god feelings have you ever seen that clip back in the day you would have slept with my mom there was this there's this funny clip of this black guy face streaming a video game and it was like speed running being called the N-word on Call of Duty. It was like him playing

and runs and kills two people and immediately gets called the N-word and he's like, Yes! Was he black? Yeah. But I don't think he said anything. I saw one on reddit and he all he did is talk in the lobby and people recognized his voice as a black man and he got it he's like

four seconds he's like hello guys edward oh well then this guy i watched gets blown out by that guy's record not even that guy's the true winner it might have been the same guy do you remember how fucking mean lobbies were 10 years ago 11 years ago 12 years ago like when cod came out for multiplayer 2007 cod 4 it was ruthless in there there was like maybe 85 of stuff that was said in the 2008 cod lobby would get you fired from your job in 2021. That's why it was nice to be a YouTuber. Usually I rolled with a lot of good players and we would never lose.

Every once in a while, it's like, don't make me call Nate Shaw. I will do it. I will get Rambo in here. I will get Nate Shaw in here and Big Timer and then we would win the next games until they quit. I would be like, you know what?

I'm going to leave the lobby and hope I don't get paired with you again. No, I had, I had the optic guys were the only pros I really knew. Maybe some envy guys. And, uh, uh,

I, I could reach out to them if I needed, if that was getting bullied. That was like thinking about playing cod 4 in like 2007 to 2010 is one of those like memes where it's like you don't know you're in a golden age until it's gone and it's like so true so true the amount of fun i had on cod 4 unmatched in any game i've ever played i i liked cod but i really look back and like liked spending time with T-Mart and Onslaught and some of my COD friends. Even before YouTube, Big Diz, who I wonder how he's doing now.

Some of the guys that I played with every night. It was about the relationships for me as much as it was the game. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Speaking of, I don't think I opened my channel until 2010. So before that, it was just me playing with friends. I remember trying to make like cod montages back to that and like, just getting so flustered, where it'd be like, how does fucking Grizz get all these shots? And it's like, oh, see, he's not coming back from high school in 2007 and then playing. He's an adult who's doing this all day, apparently living the dream, just getting drunk all day playing Call of Duty, going for no scopes. Were your crowd friends IRL friends or people you met online?

At that time, it was 100% IRL. Yeah, it was all just my buddies in high school, and we all would get on and play together. And among that i was actually the i think second best one of our friends was just like you know those people where it's like they just are good they're just good at games and no matter how much you tried like you're not going to be as good as them i had one buddy like that but he was still nowhere on the like wasn't a pro like he would have got smashed by uh what was his name prayas who was the guy who was like praying mantis was that him yeah it was he wasn't a pro but he was amazingly he was a pub stomper genius yeah i remember like we played

against people who used all noob tubes and you know we won every game so we didn't want to like back out but they were the worst to play with and he's like you guys want to nuke and we're like yeah that'd be great like it wasn't long like a minute and a half later the the freaking nuke symbols going off and it's like how do you do that for those people who would be like hey guys i don't want to ruin the game do you mind if i call in a nuke? Yeah, man, win the game for us. If you can, you're not going to upset me. See, I'm on a three kill streak. So here, I'm going to give you your required UAV for this nuke placement.

I'm doing my part. Do you mind if I call in my UAV? That's not going to mess anybody up. He'd do that or sometimes we'd mess with people and he'd call in a nuke right before we lost. Does that make sense? He's got a nuke in his pocket that he can call anytime he wants and we'd act like we couldn't

win. He was very good but he stole from me. I didn't even know you guys had a business relationship. Great pod player, great that. I didn't even know you guys had a business relationship. No. Great Todd player. Great thief. I gave him an HD recorder. I don't know what it was.

Was it a Hapaj the good one at the time? Yeah, it was. Hapaj HD PVR. Yeah. And I forget. Like, basically, he was going to pay me back. Like, hey, you know what? Your first whatever $300, you know, pay me back when you earn it and then live it up you know it was like a loan and uh you know it was also a loan like

if it doesn't take off whatever you know i appreciate your friendship but he just like never made a video never did anything and kept it and i was like well that wasn't the deal. I didn't just buy you gifts. That was like $200. It was. The Hoppage was expensive. I remember I had a Dazzle, and I used the Dazzle for a bit until that became totally unworkable. And then at the time, it was like,

Hoppage, $210? Man, am I really in for $210 for this YouTube shit I'm doing? I hope I don't have the story wrong, but eventually I was like, well, if you're not going to make videos, can you send it back? And he had sold it. Well, that's rude.

Yeah. That's worse than re-gifting. Re-selling. So I don't know. I felt a little robbed. It was like, oh, well, we can't be friends anymore. He did. He robbed you.

Not really. I got over it. Well, thank God. Well, here I am talking about it. Maybe it still hurts a little. Well, you're never getting that Hopage HD PVR back. This is true. How do you feel about that?

So much for my 720p recordings. It might have been 1080. I think I still uploaded 1080 the hoppages were like those were good for years like those worked for a long time it had it was a it was a little box it had that nice blue light around the top made you feel like oh yeah i'm a tech guy there was three there was like the dazzle the hoppage and then one in the middle that you shouldn't have bought like either do it right or don't i had them all that one yeah what was the other one called oh oh it was called i think it's i don't remember the h also i think it did too but it ran off wi-fi like like it was wireless

like like it like somehow or another it was wi-fi it was like wi-fiing the footage to my laptop like it connected to like the interface between the xbox and the tv i suppose but then it um it like wi-fied that footage to my laptop for recording purposes the way i remember it it's been forever but like the quality was based on how strong your wi-fi connection was so like sometimes my shit would be like hd quality like this is looking great it's as good as like c nanners fucking like on board uh like like like video card and then sometimes i guess like my mom was like doing a lesson plan or something and it's all fuzzy it looks like uh like there's like snow on it it's It's awful.

Didn't Only Use Me Blade have a broken one that made his shit look all purple or something? There was all sorts of shit like that. Yeah, I remember a bunch of shit like that. But I had all of them at one time or another. I started with the Dazzle. The Dazzle was so bad that like... I don't think I ever made a video with the dazzle i think all my videos were either the um whatever that was the roxio hd that doesn't sound familiar that came later

yeah that doesn't sound familiar it was um but uh but but i definitely eventually went to the hopage because that was just i mean that was the right yeah yeah and and i would i bought a few people their hop hogs like like like there was people like like um like like socrates didn't have one i think i bought one for socrates like i bought i bought them for a bunch of people because they they were like 100 200 or something like that and i would be playing with these people who are so fucking good and i was like yeah you got to show some other people who is the other one maybe started with an M. Yeah.

Oh, Impulse. Impulse. That's probably what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Yeah. I think Impulse bought his own shit. I don't think I bought him one. But J.D. Reid was his real name. And he was very good too.

Yeah. Those are my main two friends that I played with. So we would play like team tactical, like 3v3. And we'd play a lot of 3v3 game battles and and stuff and they were both just light years better than me i had some friends that were so good it was almost unfun to play with them like you know like if this guy's getting 75 kills every other game like i'm not getting as much traffic as i want you know a lot of games end early unless we pick a post. Toward the end, game battles became what was fun because pub stomping

had lost its appeal. I could get that heart-pounding fun again playing 3v3 game battles. We had maybe eight people in the roster. If we got matched with a shitty team, it was like, oh, yeah, let me in, guys. I'll

play. If it wasn't, there was another third who was way better than me who could jump in so um we were top 10 on the ladder i know that for sure in like uh uh one year like one season i guess i don't remember how long seasons were because like if if it was if they were an okay team like i would jump in and play but if they were if we're playing against fear or something like that one of the other guys would play that we were competitive with Fear. Yeah. For sure. That's the one that had Moho. They were the original

super team. Before Optic was the best team, Fear was. I think they had a rivalry. I wonder what they think of each other today. What's the team? Was it with... Envy. day. And also, what's the team? It was it? It's with a Hashtro. Yeah, envy. Yeah. I love Astro.

Yeah. Dude. One time, I think my phone number got leaked. So I got a new phone number. And I texted like everyone in the Cod community that I was pregnant and I needed you to call me back because it was like an unknown number but i had them and uh everyone was like who's like what is this what like like this is bullshit this can't be me you've got the wrong guy hastro was like who's this like i made his reply but it was basically like this could be any number of people and it was funny to me yeah yeah for sure i i had a bunch of good times with uh with astro i

remember just getting real drunk uh in in la with him and like running out like they closed the bar so i went and cleared out my mini bar he was he was like do you have a mini bar and i'm like yeah but like you know machinima paid for that room so they pay for the mini bar i don't i don't really think i can like run up a bill on their mini bar. I don't want to do them like that. He's like, I'll cover it, whatever it is. And I just went up to the room and just came back downstairs with a double handful of mini bottles and passed them out to everybody.

It was a good time. $10 shots, everyone. Here you go. Like $8 or $10 a shot. Yeah, pretty much. It's like ballpark beers where you're like i'll have a bud light it's like that'll be nine dollars and it's like i mean water's six so i guess i'll still get the beer like i wonder how all those businesses worked out

like there was a time when like envy and optic optic was the king of gaming it seemed at least in my universe then envy was another real high one and i guess phase yeah then those guys i know made bank they're they're super wealthy and then uh hex did really well it seemed like he did great and then he bought it back so i wonder if he still has all that money or like how that worked out did they just give it to him like where is he now how did envy do did he ever get like rich off of envy i don't know yeah i don't know i know hastro had a bunch of like products and stuff like maybe he was the one that was doing like gamer grip or some shit like that um i don't really remember there was a bunch of little things like that like the control fre freaks and stuff like that, all those peripherals. Yeah, I wonder how they worked out.

Did they get retire money out of that or not? It seemed like Hex did. Yeah, I don't know. Nope. Hex seems to be doing well. He's got that super dope warehouse he's in with a ton of space and everything oh that's right i forgot for a second yeah he does have that that's what you need when you're gaming it's a giant warehouse for your gaming things right it is essential you can't game in a small room taylor no certainly not you'll get

toasty i require a large room and a high performance t-shirt to game at my peak level do you remember like it was only like when i started youtube like a lot 2010 that like if you were a youtuber you had like a good setup it was like you have like the hgtv you got the recorder you got stuff and people be like wow you got like the real setup here now you'll walk into like a guy who has never streamed in his life the thought of streaming has never occurred to him and he has a sure sm58 and a fuck and triple monitor setup and a nicer pc than me and it's like it really and then you go into a pro gamer's house and he's using a bunch of cardboard boxes as a monitor stand because he gets a new fucking house

every couple of weeks he's going from this gamer house to that gamer house and they're just bouncing around have you ever looked at those like i think it's a subreddit neckbeard nests does that sound right i don't know that one. Neckbeard nest. Yeah. It's like, are they pimp or terrible or horrible? It's just, it's just like somewhere that a neckbeard lives and wow,

there's a quarter million members here. Okay. The female depression nest is the one that like I find the most, the saddest, I guess. Female depression. Uh, there's,

it's a term. I don't know if it's a form or subreddit but yeah these girls just they're yeah their room is messy super duper messy like the floor has four inches of bullshit on it and uh it's their little depression nest where they're spending all their time and oftentimes the theme is like hey i cleaned up my depression nest and there's a night and day difference between where it started and where it is yeah i just found a a woman who posted there except that's all clutter this is all closed misplaced bags of of retail merchandise the neck beard ones are like piles of shit and cum and bottles of nonsense and it's like uh like you know, the memes, the cum box, the cum wall.

I remember reading the cum wall a long time ago where it was like, I've been turning on my left side in bed and cumming on this wall every single night, often multiple times for the last nine years. And it's like a sideways stalagmite that has begun to form with drippage and it's hard cum is disgusting unless you use it right away apparently yeah yeah i like your disclaimer there it's uh best fresh oh i hate these ones with all the dishes in the sink over overflowing how could you walk past

a kitchen with it's overflowing in the sink with dishes without starting to clean it? You're playing dirty dish chicken. Dirty dish chicken. You just let it go. Hopefully it drives whoever you live with crazy. If you and I live together, you might lose dirty dish chicken a lot. If you and I live together, it would never get like that. All the dishes would be cleaned.

My wife cooks all our meals most nights and i clean because i'm like you cook i clean that's fair and it's a good system the kitchen's nice and neat it's orderly everything's in its place i i don't know i walk into the kitchen there's a bunch of dirty stuff it makes me anxious i hate that uh yeah the truth is i don't have dirty i do i know yeah yeah do you actually do the dishes or does jackie take care of it mostly uh see doing the dishes i unload the cleans every morning and she tends to like she cleans the kitchen before she goes to bed so she puts all the dishes in the dishwasher runs it and then in the morning while she makes eggs i put all the dishes away all the time like i've fallen

into this habit of like it's one evening's dishes is never enough to fill a load in the dishwasher. And so every day I'll be like, well, I could just use a little scrubber and clean all these and they could be put where they're supposed to be right now. And so I just do that. Like, yeah,

I've ran my dishwasher personally. My, you know, she uses it often. I have used it twice. We'll run a non-full dishwasher. I don't like the idea that it has to be like, Oh,

have you used every available rack space? No, just, just turn it on so that the dishes are clean. That's fair. I, I just, I like have knowing that it's where it's supposed to be when I need it,

you know, like that it's clean and it's with the other plates and it's with, ah, so you do the dishes and put them away in one step. Yes. Do you use a towel or do you let them dry in the cabinet? I use a towel. I don't want to let them dry in a cabinet.

There'll be little bits of moisture in there. We don't hand wash our dishes. We live in 2020. You're behind. Touche. I was trying to say the 2020s and I didn't say it right and the saddest neckbeard nests are like this one where it's

it is I'll link it so we can look at it it is nothing but cheap empty wine bottles everywhere and so it's like ah we're peeking into a couple problems here yeah which is very sad that you gotta feel for them yeah that is that is a rough one oh and the

cigarettes i didn't even go to the page two yet the cigarettes this guy's smoking cigarettes putting them out on his mouse pad and leaving it there oh that's so absurd that's got that's always keyboards underneath that's how that works oh i didn't yeah the keyboard's hidden oh my god look at this disgusting shit look that's got a camera there like like that's got to be like 20 a thousand cigarettes okay i really want to like take note of this let me absorb this for just a moment i'm trying to like okay those are packs of cigs okay lots of the bottle caps that i'm guessing went to other bottles of wine i see lots of corks as well there's some there's something written in cyrillic on that mug but also it says cafe on that yeah that's just like a joke mug um oh okay

yeah there's no way like there's a camera with a tripod so he's got like a joke mug. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's no way. There's a camera with a tripod? He's got like a nice monitor. I have that monitor. That's like $1,400. That sucks. Can we do these Patreon questions? Go for it. Yeah, if you'd like.

So one said, Woody, have you ever considered being an angel investor? Not seriously. Whenever I make a bet, I want to feel like I'm right like it's a lock i don't take bets where i think there's a 50 50 chance of winning which is not to say i always win my bets but i i think that it's a good one an angel investor just seems so like i don't know i'm not engaged i'm not involved it's a wild guess none it doesn't apply it's not what i like to do

it's a wild guess it doesn't apply it's not what I like to do this one's fun though forced to change the name of painkiller already what's the new name Kyle and gang no Taylor and friends

I have to choose between those two Woody and fucking the amigos i don't know pre amigos if i could rename this show i don't know painkiller so what i like in a name is it doesn't mean anything right like it coca-cola doesn't mean anything when i hear coca-cola is the name of the two products that go that the two ingredients that make. But it almost doesn't mean anything anymore. Like Kinko's, which was a place where you made copies, it's kind of gone now. It doesn't mean anything. I like C-Nanners.

That name was just a blank slate for which he could draw on anything he wanted. So what would I name? I don't mind painkiller already. You don't know what to expect. You're like, what the fuck is this? That works for me. If I had to change it to something else, I'd look for that in a name too. We could keep the same letters too.

It could be pretty cool assholes. Actually, that's not bad. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's better. Probably the K. I don't think I like the K. Taylor's a resident speller. We'll call it the misnomer hour.

We could do the cool crazy cats. It's a bad name. Jesus. Alright. Welcome to KKK episode 551. This will be the final episode of the show.

That's hosted on YouTube. You know what pisses me off? They got a sponsor tonight. J&J Hoods. The best hoods out there. Yeah. Do your crosses burn too slow? Are you struggling to light your cross on

an undesirable lawn? We'll fix that for you right quick. Well, this podcast makes a lot of sense. I'm saving on crosses. I don't know. I don't know what we rename it. I like that it's an

acronym. It's weird to explain to people because they start thinking it has something to do with painkillers like drugs. No, it doesn't have anything to do with opiates or narcotics. No, it's just studying the life of three hardcore opiate addicts. Yeah. I don't think we can pull that off though.

I do like the name. I think that's a tip of the hat over to good old Wings of Redemption. I think he came up with that name yeah out of frustration i was playing with him we were if people don't know the story i'll tell it in fast forward as unknown to do we're trying out people for a game battles team we were talking about putting together we're just a few seconds into the game there used to be a death streak where if you killed someone i don't know two or three times they came back with the pailler, which gave them extra health. Wing bumped into a dude who had

Painkiller just a minute or two into the game, and he's like, Painkiller already? Because the people we're playing with were so good, they were getting killed so fast. Somehow, that became the name of the podcast. There it is. It became like a recurring theme. Just a minute

into the game, the other team would have Painkiller already. Painkiller did suck. Earlier this morning, somebody messaged me a clip of Wings. He was saying that I am responsible for all of his life's problems. I thought I was. No, it's changed his mind. It's me. I thought that I owed him hundreds of thousands of dollars or something. You know, I don't like misquoting him but he said

something like uh uh that every now and then i have a little rant about him and like that like flames the or fuels the flames and uh and i'm responsible for like all of his problems or whatever so i would say you're responsible for no more than half. No more than half. Yeah. Well, I mean, maybe 75%. Woody said the meanest shit that's ever been said about him. That wasn't me. That was a dude in a blue shirt. That was so funny.

I loved that. To be fair, it's like Woody hits back. We know Woody hits back. That's why you don't hit Woody. Not even as a joke. You don't tap Woody on the shoulder hard. Like Woody's a...

Well, you've attacked me, sir. You will gain Mr. Cuffs on the morrow. I'm allowed to win. I will not be bullied. I am a god. You started to go for an accent there? You bailed out. I will not be bullied by your nonsense.

This is my British accent as Woody. I am a english person that'd be a completely different variant i would be down with that like the really stereotypical indian loki i wish they'd done that but yeah i i i hope i hope you don't think that's true wings you know i hope you can realize that you you know you bring all this on yourself. I like the idea that like, if I were wings, I would want to feel like I brought it all on myself because that's more solvable, right? If all these problems are from somewhere outside my control, that sucks.

But as soon as I realized that like, Ooh, if I'm the problem, I can be the solution. I can fucking wrap this thing up. We can turn this ship around. That's where you'd rather be. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. Um, but, but, but yeah, like anytime we've like given him a hard time, it's always been like hitting back, you know, he's the one who's always like being mean to people for a while. I remember seeing clips that people would send me on Twitter and it would be like, you guys are one of you. Usually Kyle went in on him making jokes during the show and it'd be like

a clip or it'd be like and the pka guys are making fun of me again and fucking murk durka stole my spot on the show and like i didn't even fucking say anything we've how many times have we spoken like also i'm pretty sure you took lefty spots. People have that history in Greg. He did. It's fun because the guys in the patron, you never know what level of contact they have with the show. There are guys in there who joined to play Magic the Gathering.

They heard from a friend who said, hey, there's Magic the Gathering tournaments in this little Discord I'm in. It costs 50 a month to get in, but we have a good time. They're like, all right, deal. mean you know let me get my cocaine ready and uh yeah i'll sign up like that's literally one of the guys some people don't listen to the show at doesn't dirty not listen to the show dirty doesn't really listen to the show no um dirty dirty had no idea who like like about any of the fps rusher stuff like like it was like this weird like someone's still unimpressed by it like yeah he's unimpressed

nobody's nobody can see it and not be impressed okay you know he's bored by the topic of fps rush yes yeah it's funny and like but then like a guy the other day was like um i think he asked oh he's like when did you join the show, Kyle? And I was like, day one. Episode zero when we announced there would be a show. That was a few weeks before there was a show. We all kind of got together and decided there would be. And that's when I joined. So I walked him through the whole Lefty thing.

I was like, and Wings always says that Taylor replaced him. But really really taylor replaced lefty and lefty didn't even replace wings lefty sort of filled in for me when i because i was traveling so much so like nobody replaced wings wings was just let go because he couldn't wake up in time and it's treated like it's recent when did i replace i replaced lefty almost eight years ago i think it was a decade ago it was no episode 188 i started as a host is that true yeah 188 or no 188 i came on as a guest and it was like that oh people like that one and then you texted me we're like oh you're right yeah we're uh you want to be a host i'm like okay and then like that i was like renting a car to someone i'm like oh you're right yeah we're uh you want to be a host i'm like okay and then like that i was like renting a car to someone i'm like oh neat the reenactment of the original contract negotiations right there you want to make jokes like a retard on the show absolutely yeah this is i got nothing else doing

yeah i i remember starting doing the show and being like, man, this will be like a fun little short term thing. And I remember even thinking like, will this be going three years from now? No. What are we crazy? No. Over seven years later, still committing into my most important job into my 30s. It is funny. It's funny.

Like compared to a bunch of podcasts we've been going for fucking ever we i i i think that well part of that is because like we are one of the first podcasts ever like like you can comfortably say that like like when we started podcasting there weren't like i tell people every now and then like like yeah i do a podcast but i have i immediately follow that with this isn't like how like everyone you know now has a podcast i was like we started a podcast in 2009 like before there was anything to even put a podcast on like we started a podcast like this it's literally one of the first podcasts in the world that that existed with any sort of popularity yeah with any

sort of popularity i'm sure there was some like psychopath out there just rambling into a microphone like by himself that's not a podcast though that's a yeah there were podcasts at the time i feel like podcasts were just being born though you know like just like i didn't have the first gaming channel but it was one of the early ones. When did Joe Rogan start? It's funny. Joe Rogan, it's back on old episodes of Opie and Anthony. In 2006, 2007. And Anthony would go back to his house, the compound,

and do live podcasts there from his house. That was 2006. They were after us. no i have i'm sorry yeah i'm thinking 16 i don't know all my numbers because anthony kumia did some of his own stuff and like rogan even says like yeah the reason i decided to start a show is because i would like i listened to ona like every other fucking comedian and then i like saw anthony say something like hey tune into this thing and it was, he's just being a shithead, drinking, talking to people. I can do this.

You know what? Not only can I do this, I'll be the most influential person on earth. Dude. He had Quentin Tarantino on this week. Really? Yeah. I only saw some clips. What did you think?

Was it not good? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet. haven't seen it yet i don't know was it was it not good because you didn't like get as much of an insight as you were hoping for or just not very you know personal i feel like i don't like quentin tarantino like he's i feel like quentin tarantino came on the podcast and was almost like a third like talked to the third he didn't talk in the third person but it like everything was like i am from this elevated position of importance everything i say has a weight to it i'm used to being the boss typically when i speak everyone stops and listens like

and it was like you've got too much presence like you're not even personable anymore you're you're just broadcasting to an audience you know like joe rogan's broadcasting to an audience's personal. He's a professional communicator. He's really good at it. I'm connecting with this guy. He had a guy come on and talk about homeless. He had a guy come on. I'm just listening to him lay out. Oh, feral pigs. I saw Joe Rogan with a feral pig expert. This guy had me intensely invested and interested in feral pigs for some reason. And he's talking about how quickly they breed and how young they can be.

Feral pigs can breed like three times a year. They have between like four and 12 babies and they start breeding at like four months. So imagine that. And by the way, to have a baby, it takes three months, three weeks and three days. That's the gestation period of a feral pig. Easy to remember. Anyway, so at four months, they get pregnant. At seven months, they've created like six, 12 more pigs.

That's at seven months. You can do that virtually twice a year. One pig can turn into 15 pigs. And it doesn't take that long for them to get pregnant. And then the second generation that takes off is oh i didn't even do that math yeah that that guy's gonna have oh my god well don't they like don't like like they go back to feral like if you like put like domesticated pigs out like they'll go back to feral like they physically change it's not just like a behavioral thing they

physically change when when they live in the wilderness. Their fur gets darker, thicker. They change. They start growing tusks. Their snoot gets longer, which they use for rooting. I think that's what he called it. I'm a recent expert on this. And then they use it for rooting.

Maybe it's not a snoot. Am I wrong? Yeah, you boop it. You boop the snoot. Maybe it's a snout Maybe it's not a snoot. Am I wrong? You boop it. You boop the snoot. It's a snout. It's definitely a snout. But it's really cute that you said snoot. Snoot's the lighter.

I like that. Oh, I'm sticking with snoot. And it gets longer. And they use that to root, which is some of their most destructive behavior. If there's an insect in the ground, they just freaking tear up the whole ground getting to it. They're omnivores. They eat anything. And their population explodes out of control and it's really and and like i said they jump over the fence and they boom they become feral and it's

not the next generation that same pig turns into like morphs into yeah a feral pig a more wild ready to exist in the wilderness pig. And in Texas, they also have like, I don't recall exactly how they got there, but they had these Russian boars that like exist there. There's other species of pig that's invasive and it crossbreeds with the domestic pigs who have already turned feral. And it create, it's like a killer bean nightmare of pigs. I sat through a whole class. Like whenever you go to like, I don't know if it was like Air Bacon or Vertex. It's one of those two companies. Great name, Air Bacon.

It's the helicopter hog hunting companies. But they sit you in a class before you go like murder pigs, where you like watch a video explaining why it's okay to murder pigs. And I remember thinking like, I don't need propaganda. I'm here to do it. Like you don't have to convince me. But it's okay to murder pigs. And I remember thinking, like, I don't need propaganda. I'm here to do it. Like, you don't have to convince me. But it's like this whole thing, like. Well, these guys are watching a film. Can I take two helicopter rides?

Y'all got one, like, tied up that I can cut on a little bit? Like, I'm here to do it, dude. Did you notice that I brought a 14-inch knife and a scabbard just in case I can go hand to hand with one at some point? I'm I'm here for shits and giggles. I don't give a fuck about these pigs. But you still watch this whole film, like detailing the agricultural damage in dollars and cents and like the the breeding patterns that you just like illustrated. And it's it's so much fun to shoot them out of a goddamn helicopter because they can't do anything about it and they just leave them there now you've told me before that these

pigs are not good meat and i have a hard time like look i don't know yeah so outside my expertise but yeah it's weird to me that they're not like really what what i was told is that like i think the deal was like they have a lot of parasites in them but of course like if you cook them well enough you get rid of those parasites but whenever i've like cooked pork myself like you want it um the the temperature you want it at i going from memory i always google this like 165 or something it's somewhere in there but but like the color you're looking for is like this rosy pink color where it's just just between white and pink and i think maybe that's not hot enough to like kill all the parasites that are in them so you almost have to overcook

the wild pig that's my take um and like i stayed on this place once i've been multiple times but maybe three four times and uh the worst time was when we were hunting like off the ground with rifles like no helicopters involved and uh this wild man that i was with who was a youtuber um he crawled on his belly into this thicket like it was so thick that you couldn't walk into it you had to crawl to like get under the level of like this texas texas has like weird like plant life i don't know he crawled into where the pigs like slept during the day with a glock and like shot one. He happened to shoot a piglet. It was like

I don't know, I think twice as big as a cantaloupe or something. This little fucking baby pig. He cooked it in a hubcap. It's a super late term abortion. Yeah, he cooked it in the front yard in the wheel of a car without the tire on it. Just the rim over a campfire

and was like, i don't know if he was dipping it in pickle juice or if he had like brined it in pickle juice but he was like offering us like chunks of us on of it on a knife blade to us and like you know that's pretty cool i ate it but i was using piglet piglet and pickle juice yeah i ate a bite of it but i was you know it wasn't bad but it was also like i didn't want a second bite you know it was just like gross but they told me parasites were a thing and uh and also like nobody minded if you left in there because the coyote population is so high that they clean them up they clean them down to the bones like by the next night they said

and uh a lot of the like we only killed a handful on that trip i actually found the footage up the other day um i'm wearing a mask because uh it was supposed to be uh scott up my cousin scott in the helicopter shooting them but he couldn't make it because he had like wanted to stay with his girlfriend or some so i was like this is supposed to be the next gator video. So I'm like wearing a mask, like as Gator, like, like, like up there. And I'm like, yeah, I guess we'll get some voiceover from you and like pump it in here, you know, when I do stuff. But, uh, but I'm like wearing a ski mask, like flying around a helicopter with us with a, like this massive, like knife machete thing,

like on my hip and an ACR, just gunning, gunning these pigs down. But, uh, it's, it's really fucking fun. I've seen some where they just kill dozens and dozens in one swoop. That leads to my question. That's where I was headed. Let's say I see six pigs rooting with their snoots in destroying agriculture. Yeah. If you

shoot one, can you get any more? You think you could get them all? If you're in a helicopter, you get them all. I know. On the ground five you think you could get them all if you're in a helicopter you get them all i know in this scenario on the ground you get one okay um um like i've done that before and uh as soon as the gunshot goes off they really scatter and they're fast um i mean if they're running across a field and i have best maybe you get a second one if i've got like like i was using an acr right with like a medium power optic like you know i

mean you play tarkov like a three power scope like a and like with that i can shoot stuff moving with a scoped bolt action rifle i find that difficult to hit moving targets i've struggled with that in the past uh but with like what i had if they're running across the field 100 yards from me i can tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap and gauge the bullet impacts and i'm gonna get a couple but uh assuming they're not right next to the brush or something yeah if they get into the brush they're gone and uh like i've hunted like in a blind before like in this little shack with like a window that had a tarp over it and you just sort of pull the tarp aside and like prop up and shoot them that way you get scott and i were in the same one so like we basically go all right you got yours yeah

you got yours yeah three two one squeeze and it's boom and just two drop dead and that's it they're gone like as soon as the gunshot goes off they're gone it seemed like a silencer might be helpful like it might take him a second to see what's going on you know how silencers are it's still loud as it's still like even if. We're shooting 30 caliber rifles. I don't know them like you do. Sometimes you shoot... I've seen silencers shot on a.22 where literally the clicking is the loudest part of the action.

For sure, but you don't shoot those pigs with a.22. They're so tough. They're so tough. Where I was headed was like, I don't know where things start. How loud is a silenced shotgun? How loud is a silenced.30? It's all about the speed of the bullet because the breaking of the sound barrier is the loudest part

um so if any caliber can be subsonic it just has to be loaded that way that's where like 300 blackout comes into play because that's like a round made to be um subsonic and to be used against things like hogs it's a heavy 30 caliber bullet that's going below the sound barrier. You know, I think it's 1000, 1,125 feet. We looked up, uh, is the sound barrier. So just under that. Um, and those guns are very quiet. Uh, but still like one thing you probably aren't familiar with is the noise that a bullet makes when it hits shit. Like you never hear that because you, because of the gun blast. It's loud. It's a pretty good crack. You only get to hear that when you use suppressed stuff.

Is it like a wet thud? It's a crack. It's like a crack. Really? I picture it like dropping a wet dish rag. I think of it the exact same way. If you hit dirt, it's a little quieter, but if you hit a tree, it's a nice little crack. Oh, but if you hit flesh, can you

not even hear it? Like the flesh of a pig, would you hear like a wet thud or just nothing? You'd hear it, because you hear it when you hit them with an arrow. When I've shot deer with an arrow, you hear that when it strikes them. There's an audible noise. I don't think I've ever shot a pig

with a suppressed gun, so I don't know what that sounds like, to be honest. Well, you guys want to call it a show? I think so. I enjoyed it very much. Go check out Matt Farah, Smoking Tire, right? I think so. And check out all these wonderful sponsors

below. You guys don't want to miss out on these great savings. Yep. All right. PKA. Are we still going? I made a mistake. PKA 550.