Painkiller Already - PKA 552: Kyle's Motorcycle Wreck, John McAfee's Note, GFuel Drama

Episode Date: July 17, 2021

P.K.A. 552, just the boys this week. Taylor, this episode is brought to you by Lucy and Smart Mouth. Get to those later. So, Kyle, I just we're saying for the show, I don't really care about motorcycles too much. But the the fervor and excitement that you and Woody have in our group chat just talking about it is like, I'm glad they found something they like so much. Like, that's good. And you you passed your test smartest in class and tied for tied for smartest yes from like the how long did it take from like the first takeoff with the

license real motorcyclist to the crash um 12 minutes 12 minutes to crash i guess we should start from the beginning, though. Yeah, definitely. But I like that we did that thing that, like, movies do now, where they start with the part where, like, some awful shit happens, and they're like, three days earlier. And you're like, go back to the crash! Go back to the crash!

So if you guys watched PKN, I got my motorcycle, from the DMV after I passed my MSF course. And I went to go buy a new motorcycle at my local dealership and I'm not going to trash them anymore. I trashed the dealership pretty hard during PK. But since then, the owner of like the whole chain of stores has called me on my phone and me and him talked it out. And I think they're going to retrain that salesperson, um, and, uh, and try to make sure that doesn't happen. Anybody else retrained at Wendy's. I need to jump in with, there was a roast of me that I thought was amazingly good. And so it goes like this. Kyle was negotiating with the man. They had thousands of dollars in add-on fees.

Over $2,000 in dealer fees. Like the documentation fee, the assembly fee. The stuff that the dealer kind of makes up on their own, thousands. So Kyle walked away, not out of cash, just not wanting to be anybody's fool. Not ripping me off. Right, right. I'm nobody's victim. Cool, cool.

So as Kyle was doing this, he explained, you know, I'm nobody's victim. Cool. Cool. So as Kyle was doing this, he explained, you know, I used to sell cars and this is the kind of add on fees that we would have. Yours is out of this, out of this world. And the guy goes, well, we don't sell cars. We sell fun. The reviews poured in guys like you sell type three fun. Yeah. Yeah. The Google reviews on their, on their thing are hilarious some guys like i came there for type one fun i would have titled it type two fun but no this is type three fun that you sell here sir and i'm not buying and then one guy was like um this is uh jordy mcgravy here i came in to buy a gold wing with and uh the cup holders were far too small for

my Wendy's chili, walked out on the spot, type three fun. One star reviews all over this board. Lots of one star reviews. So like, I guess that got back to like the guy who owns like the whole chain of course. And, and you know, they had my cell phone number because I'd done a credit application and everything. And I had already purchased a new motorcycle by the time he called me and he's like hey you know how can we make this right after i explained everything that happened and i wasn't like douchey on the phone with him i was trying to be real professional about it and like you know explain to him like my side of the thing and be nice about it and um and he was very professional as well so i did appreciate him calling me and apologizing for

everything that went down. I have no ill will toward him or his company at all. And I hope you guys don't either. It's really just that one salesperson whose name I don't even remember who probably just had a bad day or just isn't a very good salesperson or whatever. But I think they're going to address that. Or you thought you were just like a rube that just fell off a turnip cart and was going to take advantage of you. I don't know. Maybe. Clearly not. You don't give off that vibe. I feel like you want to do a car dealership authoritatively because you're like, I know all the – I'm a gunslinger.

I know – oh, you're trying to pull that? I used to pull that. You know, that's one of those little areas of expertise that I have. Like I'm looking at this paper and I'm just like, come on, what are you doing to me? Like, this isn't going to work. Like, like let's, let's move on to like the type two fun at least, you know? And, and, uh, but anyway, um, after I, after I talked about all that on PKN, um, Zach pointed out to me that someone had posted a comment on the PKN YouTube video. I said, Hey, I'm at a, I want to get the name of the dealership right. I know it,

but I want to make 100% sure I'm getting it right. It's in Conyers. This is a different dealership. Yeah. Do you need the PKN link? Do you want me to help you? No, it has nothing to do with that. I'm just going to Google. Okay. He posted a comment

on there, and he's over in Conyers. It's Conyers Mountain Motorsports. It's a dealership that's like a little over an hour from me. And, but, but he posted a comment on PKN that said, Hey, come here and we'll, we'll make you a good deal. So I was just like, I just had woke up when I saw that. And, and I was like, shit, let's go. So I took a, took a shower, got dressed and I drove all the way up to Conyers.

And as soon as I walked in, it was a completely different experience. And not because I'm Kyle or whatever. They have a receptionist there who's immediately like, hey, welcome to Conyers Motorsports. How can I help you? And she's just like, I don't know. I think I want to buy a bike. And they're like, oh, good for you. Like a really nice lady. And then like a completely different salesperson who doesn't know who I am't know. I think I want to buy a bike. Oh, good for you. Like a really nice lady. And then

like a completely different salesperson who doesn't know who I am comes over and, uh, and he's super nice. And he's like, immediately he's like, ah, a naked street bike, midsize. All right. We got three great options for you. And he's like running me through the three options. Like he immediately narrows down what I'm looking for, directs me to the three best options for what I'm trying to achieve. And and then starts contrasting and comparing really effectively, telling me things I didn't know about these bikes. And and I've done a lot of research, but I still didn't know this stuff. And it was like it was awesome. I was like, this is so much better. I'm going to buy a motorcycle from this man. And and we settled on the Honda.

I want to get the name right. Is it the CBR? No. This is CB, right? CB 650. ABS. Yeah, it's 650 ABS. It's fucking sick. Beautiful motorcycle. And I'd already decided, like, I'm going to buy this motorcycle.

And then, like, a couple more guys walk over, and they're like, you're Kyle. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been trying to get a hold of you. We've had our general manager calling the other store that you dealt with. They will not give your number up, by the way. We've been doing this and that and looking everywhere. We're so glad you're here. And so I dealt with Dustin, who is a patron. And Dustin works with the internet sales team there in Conyers. And, and he, the, his partner there was like, Hey, if you're going to mention that anybody made this happen, it's the internet sales team at Conyers. All right. All right. I'll let them

know. I've let them know that you're the, you're, you're, you're the people responsible. And, and so I dealt with those two guys, mostly Dustin, Dustin came over, ran my credit, presented me the numbers. He's like, as you can see, this is the out-the-door price. For people who don't know the previous story, the other dealership really hid the out-the-door price. And even when Kyle asked for it, they came back with monthly payments at least once or twice. So it felt a

little sneaky. Yeah. And that's like, I've sold cars. That's what you do when you're trying to be sneaky. You know, you're like, Hey, what, here's $400 a month for 3000 years. Go ahead and sign right there. Your, your ancestors will pay this Honda off in no time. It's like a student loan. Yeah. And it's like, and in my case, I don't care at all how much the monthly payment is. I mean, obviously, I don't want to pay $2,000 a month

for a motorcycle. That's absurd. But like anywhere between $100 and $300 a month, which all makes sense, I'm fine because it depends on the rate and it depends on the term. And I don't care.

I care about the out-the-door price. I care about not getting ripped off. So they gave me a great deal there. Um, you know, there, there was a, a small dealer fee, like a very acceptable dealer fee, the, the kind of thing that I'm accustomed to and that I've seen before. And, uh, and I walked out, I mean, I was just like, yeah, that, that all looks good. Um, I bought the bike, um, went through finance, um, you know, standard finance thing. I was like, you know, I don't think i really need a warranty did they try and push it on you or were you like and you know vip where they're

like don't don't fuck with this guy no he's gonna make fun of us on his show i should have done this with the fucking contractors god damn that's your job right you know like that's um her job is to is to try to sell a warranty and and and i think in some cases depending on who you are and like like what you're doing like maybe a warranty is a good idea but for me it just wasn't great because i'm kind of handy like i've got a little bit of a mechanical issue with the bike right now that i caused that uh that i'm gonna fix uh this evening or in the morning and uh you know i really didn't feel like i needed a warranty so but i let her do her whole spiel you maybe, maybe there's something I hadn't heard of before.

Some, some new kind of warranty that I might be interested in, but they did want, what was the thing he told me to tell you guys? Cause this is kind of cool. They'll give you guys a discount if you go and mention my name. Oh, neat. Yeah. If you, if you go to Conyers, I keep forgetting the name. Conyers, I keep forgetting the name. They have to mention yours. Conyers Mountain Motorsports.

If you go in there and tell them, you know, Kyle or FPS Rush or whatever, they'll give you $200 off, like, whatever, you know, whatever you buy. But I really enjoyed my experience there. $200 helmet. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they mean motorcycles. I was going to say that. You're going to drive seven hours.

I'd like these $130 boots. I'll take that $70 in cash. I'm pretty sure they mean motorbikes and probably Polaris and ATVs and shit like that. But I really appreciated the whole situation. We got the bike delivered that day. The bike shows up, and like, ready to go. I'm like, I'm like, just park it by the mailbox. Cause I'm going to come, I'm going to go get my gear on and I'm going out riding. So like, I immediately get on the bike after they leave. And I'm like, oh, you know,

I'd sat on it already. But like, once I start going, once I start operating the clutch and riding, I'm like, this is different. Kyle rode light and easier to ride 250cc motorcycles in his training course. If you guys don't know, he took this weekend long training course from the Motorcycle Safety Foundation. It's a good way to get your license and how to learn to ride a bike. They teach you smart things. Yeah, we rode eight hours the first day and three or four hours the next day. All day we're riding. But we're on these smaller bikes and they're like the traditional style bikes that kind of look like a Harley with like the teardrop tanks and kind of low and saddle seats.

And I bought a sport bike or something close to it anyway. A naked sport bike, I think is what it would be called. Yeah. And so immediately I'm like, oh, this is different. We're sitting up a little bit higher. The handlebars are nice and narrow. And when I fucking rev this bitch up, it's a four-cylinder bike, and it sounds completely different from the little thing I was putting around on.

It's so angry. The motorcycle is so fucking angry. It's like, you ready to do this, Kyle? Because I'm like, go! And I'm just like, no, man, no, let's just just like no man no let's take it let's just chill out no let's go from like a lab to a pit bull on your first year and this bike is just like let's fucking go it's it wants to be in sixth gear at 8 000 9 000 rpms or something like it wants it so bad and i'm just like i want to putt around let's put around. So I go on this little ride. Um, and immediately I'm feeling a little awkward. I'm like, not afraid, but I'm like, I feel stiff.

I feel stiff. Like I, like I really should have taken it to a big parking lot. So I could have like wiggled it around and gotten used to it and really like leaned it over and found what was going on. I made it, um, down the, down the road. I was, you know, I drove 60 miles per hour all the way to where I was going, going through some light curves, nothing where I had to really lean over anything, just some light leaning, just like this, this sort of thing, easy, slow curves,

through some stoplights, through traffic, through a downtown area. I had no problem with any of that. But then when I got to the end of my journey, I had to make this left turn with traffic oncoming and a car already in the intersection that I was going into. So I have to go like there's a car parked here and I have to come and go around that car and up a hill. And they had left me. They were like on the line. So I had slightly less space and I didn't make it.

I did this. You're supposed to look at where you want the bike to go. So I should have had my head turned over here and like not worried about what was directly in front of the tire. But instead I was just like, I just got tunnel vision and look straight ahead. And that's where I went. I went straight past the car. I hit like a big mud hole that's off road here. Kind of like started coming off the bike, rev the bike up crazy. And like the bike,

the bike falls over. I fall over. Now I'm laying on the asphalt. Was it a, was it an enormous scene that you made? It was a medium scene. How many people saw you? Two carloads of people like got a real good look.

They were sitting there. They were just like sitting right there and they were kind enough, like not to... I'm sure they were like, what if he's going to die? Then there's oncoming traffic. He's sliding by right past me. You're at an intersection making a left and this car is parked to your side.

Yeah. Were you at a standstill when this scenario started? I don't remember. I think I was at 10 miles per hour, like I was sitting at a red light and then it was, Oh, I had gotten into like a turning lane and I was kind of trying to like a rolling start into the, into the turn. I don't think I started from a stop. Um, it worked out that I didn't have to stop in the middle of the road. I wanted to

avoid that. Um, and, uh, and I just didn't make it. Uh, I hit the fucking ground pretty fucking hard, but I had all my gear on and didn't feel a thing. What do you think you landed on? Asphalt. What part of your body did you land on? My left hip hit and probably my shoulder. I didn't put my hands out because I'm not, I don't know. I've got this thing I built into my head long ago about like breaking your hands like catch if you catch

yourself like that so i always try to catch myself with forearms and shoulders and stuff when i actually do take a tumble and i've taken a few doing the stupid shit i've done throughout life um and uh so i caught myself with mostly like shoulders and forearm and uh my left hip which is all areas of my body with like thick, like padding and armor on them. So I didn't feel a thing. And I made sure not to bounce my helmet off the ground because I didn't want to spend another $400.

And, and yeah, I, I immediately like jumped up, looked at the cars and went, well, I knew it was going to happen. I didn't know it was going to happen 10 minutes into the ownership,

but here we are. You got like your, your whole visor down, so you're just like, you don't know who I am! They had dark tinted windows, and I've got my visor down, and I'm like, this is saving me a lot of embarrassment right now, because I bet they're in there, ha ha ha ha! There's children probably. He's just lying, this is my first day on the motorcycle.

There's probably children in there like, mom, like that man retarded yes well he is now do you see his head bounce off the but um and then i had to like get the bike back up right and it's not just it's not laying on asphalt it's laying like in a mud hole so i've got to like i it's 470 pounds i think and then you know plus fuel i don't know three gallons is 24 pounds um it's heavy the thing where you like put your back to it and kind of deadlift or did you just grab the handlebars like a bicycle and ride it i considered the thing you just suggested but i was like i want it up now and uh and so i just deadlifted the bike and uh and like popped it up super easily probably had a little adrenaline going because it felt like nothing it felt like 100 pounds yeah and um got

it up got on it got it started and rode through the just i was just like we're going now and just like rode through the mud hole over the curve like up the up the, made the next two turns. Two for three. I pull into Kitty's yard and I get off, park the bike, examine myself, examine the bike. The bike's fine, but the handlebar is a little wonky now.

I got to straighten those out. Nothing's bent. There's some bolts that need to be loosened. Straighten it back out. Tighten the bolts back up. I just talked to a Honda technician on the phone. Thanks to Dustin again. Big, big, big, uh, big, big, uh, help from that guy. And, uh, when the handlebars came in, I dented the tank slightly, but I don't give a shit about that. It's a super tiny dent. It's not like creased or anything. I think I'm the only one who will ever notice it. Uh, and I'll probably get popped out anyway. And, uh, and that's about it as far as damages to the bike uh the bike's got these like sliders on the side which i'm sure kept

the nicer parts of the bike from hitting anything so uh i mean i was gonna fall i told him when i bought it i'm like i'm going down like yeah this is happening i was like of course it's happening and he's like well you never know i'm like i I'm going to drop this thing this week and next week and the week after that. The only question is how fast I'm going when I'm doing it and if someone hits me when I do it. Do you know it would be later that day? I figured it could be. I figured it could be. I'm going to ride tomorrow. I expect to fall. You think it'll be easy? You sent the video in our group chat of everything seems fine.

Other than that kind of wonky on your steering. That'll be quick. Like I think it's the four bolts right there by the yeah. It's deceptive. It's actually a way to share that. Yeah. It's actually two bolts, not four.

Like it's four on top, but it's two on the bottom. So I think that that's like a clamp that you're looking at, but yeah, I'm going to the technician seem to think that but it's two on the bottom. So I think that that's like a clamp that you're looking at. But yeah, I'm going to... The technicians seem to think that loosen the two bolts on the bottom, straighten the handlebars out, and it'd be all good. Well, that's good. I mean, part of it is like you're probably a little less afraid of falling now

that you got one out of the way. No, I'm more afraid. You're more afraid? Oh, yeah, I'm you're more afraid oh yeah yeah definitely more afraid because like you saw the potential for danger at such like a reasonable speed on a reason like reasonable i could have died there um if um like one of the cars are coming like right next to me from because like i turned across a lane of traffic and that lane was busy and continuing. And when I got the bike straightened up, it rolled backwards a little bit before I grabbed the front brake and it almost rolled with me into traffic.

And, and you know, then I would have, it would be tragic if you died, but it would be kind of funny if you were talking about it on Tuesday. And then before the show on Thursday, you're dead. So there's, that's Kyle's bike and that's two bolts, which surprises me, but okay.

And everything in that picture is in alignment except for kind of the handlebars and the clamp. So Kyle says nothing's bent. It just needs to sort of be loosened, put to get back together. Yeah. So it's, I don't know what you're looking at I see those four things up there that look like bolts, but they're just smooth on the bottom You have two bolts that are like sticking through and two nuts that end with washers that attach to them

So there's probably more to that mechanism than then meets the eye But two bolts on the bottom should get it loose enough to turn and if that doesn't I've watched those videos about getting the yoke Like straightened out to just those hex. Uh, I think they're 20 or 22 millimeter, uh, hex bolts, but, uh, I went to go buy some wrenches a minute ago cause I don't have metric wrenches here, but I forgot my wallet. I didn't have enough time. I slept all day today. I was up all night last night playing poker in the $50 Discord with the boys. Didn't make it. I'll go later. Get it straightened out. I plan to ride some tomorrow.

I've got nothing else going on. I'm going to hit up a big parking lot and I'm going to practice my turns. I'm going to practice 10 miles. It sounds dumb to someone maybe who doesn't know much about bikes. Maybe it is dumb, but like going fast into curves is easy. It feels like there's, it feels like, it feels like,

uh, physics are working in your favor. Um, it wants to do that. It wants to stay upright. It wants to do that curvy thing. But at 10 miles per hour, um, I felt so awkward, like just turning it. I was like, just turn it, turn it. And my body's like, my brain's like, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't turn it. It won't work. It feels weird because like on the bike I was practicing on, my hands were out wide.

I can't even display like how wide my hands were out. And like a little bit of motion went a long way or the other way around. A little bit of motion didn't go a long way so it was really easy to like dial in those turns but with this bike it's it's a lot closer in it's like a little bit goes a long way it's just like oh and we're and we're making a complete left it's the way that you ask a bike to turn is counterintuitive if you want to turn right you push forward on the right grip that sounds backwards it doesn't matter if you believe me it will work anyway if you want to turn right you push forward on the right grip. That sounds backwards. It doesn't matter if you believe me, it will work anyway.

If you want to turn right, you push forward on the right grip. It's important that people know because you get into this situation where you have to ask the bike to turn more and you need to know how to ask it. The bike can do it. The bike can do so much more than I can ask it. I've ever asked it to, but you want to go left, you push forward on the left handle grip. That's how you do it. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't matter if you believe me. It works either way.

I absolutely promise you. Don't try that in a car. You're going to green to the right. Damn. Well, I mean, I was hoping that that crash would have made you more bold, but I guess it's smarter that you're kind of hesitant. It was scary. But riding is really fun.

Because in the class, you never get out of second gear. You never go above 25 miles per hour. When I did, he was like, slow it down. I'm just trying to have a little fun here. I feel like maybe I should go a little faster. That's like, slow it down. I'm just trying to have a little fun here. I feel like maybe I should go a little faster. That's like, slow it down. All right. I'm the star of the class.

25 is okay for me. Is that what you were going for? No. Everybody now look at Kyle. See how Kyle's doing? That's why the rest of you, that's why your columns are full of frowny faces and he's got gold stars.

I suppose it's going to be me and Kyle at the Friday pizza party And that's why the rest of you, that's why your columns are full of frowny faces and he's got gold stars. I suppose it's going to be me and Kyle at the Friday pizza party and that's it. That would be great. I mean, he seems like a cool guy from what you've said. I'd go to a pizza party with that guy he's awesome like like i went to anybody who's in the area the fayetteville msf course you find it with google awesome awesome experience there um worth every penny um i'm

probably gonna go back and take their advanced rider class um i looked for that in my area you told me about it and i was like you know i'll go look and see what's up. Literally none anywhere around me. And the Motorcycle Safety Foundation, he mentioned MSF. That's what it is. In my area anyway, it's not easy to find out where the courses are. They're like, here are the places that have it. It's usually a bunch of community colleges. And then you have to search every one of those individually. And it's literally the same search engine that the colleges have to take like English 101. A lot of Harley dealerships have classes. That's an easy way to find it. My particular class was through the DDS, the Department of Driver Services. So he's partnered with them. And that really made the licensing progress a breeze because there was this issue where my information wasn't the DMV has new computers. I've never heard of DDS. Is that a Georgia driver services? I think it's our, it's what we call the DMV, I think. Oh, okay. Okay. And, and so like they got a new

computer system and like the lady was just like, it's your written scores. It's they aren't here, but you've got this certificate. I can't make heads or tails of it. And i called the uh the guy who ran the course and he like walked her through the whole thing and like straightened her out and if i think if i'd gotten my certificate at a harley dealership i don't know what would have happened i'd probably end up having to take another written test at dds because like they didn't they couldn't like find my scores that would suck yeah well i mean shit i don't know what i mean ds kyle crushed it on his test but you still want to lock that in you know who wants to roll the dice on the chance that you might not crush it the second maybe their test is harder maybe their test is like 100 questions

instead of 25 i don't know i don't know either yeah but uh but it was it was i'm glad i got it all done and uh planning to ride some more. I'm having fun. I love my motorcycle. It's fucking beautiful. I hadn't even considered that bike. I had looked at – I like the Suzuki, and I had actually looked at some Ducatis and some Triumphs. But that Honda is real sexy. It's kind of got like an Iron Man color theme with like the bronze mechanical stuff, bronze wheels, and the sort of like Iron Man red tank and clutch and brake levers. So I dig it a lot.

We were talking about getting – you know how Iron Man's got that like arc reactor in his chest? Like maybe trying to find a headlamp that looks like the arc reactor? It kind of does. I think I'll wait until I can make a left turn, though. You know what's funny? When you were talking about the Iron Man gem thing, in my head, I'm like, I'm going to surprise them that I know it's called the Infinity Stone. And then I was like, oh, no, of course it's not that.

That's gone. Close, though. No, it's the thing that keeps Iron Man alive. Well, it did until... I remember from the first movie. Yeah. Yeah. Where he built one of those in afghanistan or something he did in a cave brilliant imagine if he had or i guess no he's he's probably as rich as batman is right richer oh wow was he around after batman obviously batman was the previous like really rich superhero right and so then yeah but it's different universes and so it's almost like a little one-upsmanship

right like batman is this rich and he's this and that iron man so he's kind of like batman but he has like a cooler suit and more money it's like fuck we got a rat or richer batman pretty much and i think like it like chronologically like in our universe like like i think batman came first because i think he was like one of those original comics from like yeah i feel like they had world war ii batman comics and shit yeah he probably punched hitler out at one point like everybody else fought the japs you know with like one of those batman and one of those like ridiculous propaganda japanese oh i I love those. Never trust a Jap! It's like, I get it's a propaganda poster,

but those lips are out of control. He's punching out one of those Japanese guys with a huge buck teeth and a round glasses. The rice patty hat. Rice patty hat, yeah. Never trust a Jap, kids. That must have been like, can you imagine how much that guy's,

the guy who did the propaganda poster in like 1938, like how much he was laughing every day at work. Just like, I'm going to give, well, we need bigger teeth. Bigger than this. Really? Okay. It's all right. We're trying to win the war give him fangs

but anyway I didn't want to take you off your motorcycle discussion no I think it's about that I got the bike I got the gear you know I got I got all my gear now I've got my motorcycle no pants yet right oh I got the pants I got the pants oh I didn't know that I missed yeah I bought them at Conyers

you know that was the last little piece that i that i needed to put together on the puzzle i got some you know synthetic they're probably useful in the crash if you had them oh i'm sure you're a hip and you know that they've got armor there most people i see on motorcycles are wearing jeans which seems based on your guys safety recommendations reckless i mean they'll disappear if you go down and start grinding down the road. Right? They're better than nothing, but they're cotton jeans, probably. Whatever denim is.

It looks like cotton when it breaks apart, like when you tear your knees. Most textiles do, I suppose. Is denim its own thing? I don't know. I don't know what denim is. It's cotton okay hot load looked it up all right but i do know that it doesn't stand up well to sliding down a highway on your calf or your ass or your hip or whatever it's just going to disappear like yeah

you can like trip at walking speed and rip jeans yeah and they do make riding jeans and i've had i've heard mixed reviews on those. One guy told me that, I know they're Kevlar, but one guy told me that they get hot and I don't mean like, Oh, I'm wearing these jeans and now I'm hot. I mean like I fell off my motorcycle at 50 miles per hour. I slid on my ass down the interstate. I didn't get road rash, but my jeans heated up to 250 degrees from the friction and blistered me. Like heard that oh my goodness yeah yeah and he's like well the heat you gotta go somewhere and i'm like i suppose it does but i didn't think it would go into my ass it will it right into your ass imagine that now you have like road rash with melted plastic in it i don't know i don't know if the kevlar melts or if it just heats up real hot or

what the deal is but that discouraged me from those but then i talked to the guys at conyers and they they were like i don't know about all that they're made of kevlar they don't do that and uh and so i was they didn't have them anyway so i got like a some black like synthetic padded cushy things that i just i'm slipping them over my jeans so because i because i really want to melt apparently when i get when i get done writing like that i went i wrote about miles, like 20 miles there and back again. And when I got home, I was dripping with sweat. I was hot. That's my issue with the jeans.

You know when you're with six guys and there's that one weak-willed dude who's the first one to be a heat casualty in every group? Nice to meet you, right? So I'm that guy and i wear mesh pants they've got armor on the knees and the hips and stuff but they're kind of mesh like in front of the thighs for the airflow and that's that's what i wear that's how my jacket is my jacket has like you can see through it and so do you know what it's called, your jacket? No. It's like 10 steps away. Do you lock your helmet to your bike

when you go into stores? You don't carry it around, do you? You can lock it. One of my bikes has a lock built into it, but I tend to think if I think it won't get stolen, I just hang it on the bike, and if I think it could get stolen, I carry it around.

I can't imagine it would be that much of a stealable item. But then again, people will steal anything that's not nailed down. If I'm in St. Louis, I'm carrying it in my hand. But if I'm in Guymon, Oklahoma, then I probably just leave it either on the bike or stick it right on top of the side view mirror.

The brand is Noru. N-O-R-U. Okay. I don't know. You can't tell on camera. But I can kind of see through it there a little bit. Is it red also on the other side? No, it's all black.

I wanted to make sure I was very hard to see. There's like armor, little cushy things all over it. There's like really thick padding in the elbow. Is the armor orange? It's all black. Okay. I wanted to really disappear in those rear view mirrors. You know, they say like ride your bike like you're invisible.

I don't have to pretend. Okay, then yeah you have like an electric bike makes no noise just that's dangerous yeah yeah i think that's like that might be my jacket do you think that no it's not that looks cooler than my jacket actually do people really pick up on audio cues i feel like i personally don't i when we when i was talking about motorcycling with um smoking time matt farah and he was like you know do you feel like with hearing protection on you can like sense everything around you i don't think i'm sensing anything via hearing ever like i don't notice cars by sound when i'm in my truck you know i, I've got an audio book or music playing. It's all soundproofed

as well as Ford can get that done. When I'm on my motorcycle, I have hearing protection and a helmet on. I think I almost all visual. It's I felt pretty much deaf. I would have heard a horn blow. Uh, sure. Sure. Uh, if someone's re I would have heard other motorcycles, but I don't think I'm going to see the things way before I hear them on that bike. If I hear them, it's because they're like on top of me and I'm going to feel them at that point. Yeah. It's the least important of your senses, I think, riding the bike, or at least it was for me. Kind of prioritizes taste over. Yeah.

I'm going to taste the other cars before I hear them. My favorite Kyle story was when you passed the Harley guy the other way. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming back home and I'm on like the longest straight away, the fastest part of my ride home. I'm going about low 60, 62, 63.

And, and I've already got the wonky like yeah like handlebars like i'm looking down like this shit ain't right i knew it wasn't right but like i started i don't know much about bikes you know this is with a car if you're if you're if you're out of alignment it's no big deal like you know you go get it realigned but like i'm like is the front wheel just gonna come off at some point it's not like i can go 40 all the way home there's cars gonna stack up behind me and now i'm actually in a dangerous spot they're gonna be getting mad and trying to pass me perhaps recklessly so i gotta go 60 and uh and this harley guy like approach you know meets me in the road and he gives me you know the two fingers down low which i don't know what that means exactly. He wants to have

sex with you at the next stop. Keep the two wheels down or just sup, bro? Keep the left side down. It's a greeting. It's a greeting between motorcycle riders. And I was honored to get it from a Harley rider because I've heard that sometimes they don't give you that if you're not

at least on a traditional style bike. I'm on my thing. I was just like, dude, we're not there yet. I feel like if I go down low and give you the two fingers, the wind might catch me. It's going to knock me off. I feel like I'm in a fucking wind tunnel already. There's so much wind coming at you. I'm in a wind tunnel.

I'm just... the whole way there. It's just so much wind. Just like doing this number and checking your peripheral, the wind catches your head and fucking pulling me around and stuff. That guy probably thought you were being

rude. Yeah, like I was better than him. He's like, yeah. Your therapist told you to be nicer? Okay. I'm back to only saying hi to Harley folk. He was probably doing a wheelie for the last quarter mile or something. No, I gave him a nod.

He probably realized I didn't know what the fuck. I probably looked so stiff on that thing. He probably was probably like, oh, hang on, young man. Hang on! I tried to wave at that crooked rider, and he didn't wave back. He's got spina bifida. He's trying to flag you down. You're staring, Zwonky!

You're staring, Zwonky! You're going to kill yourself. Yeah, I was literally afraid to take my hand off the handlebars and put down like i would take my hands off to like um the only thing that like maybe it maybe i'll just get better at it but like my uh throttle hand gets real sore like like right here um just just holding the throttle open for that long period not even that long you know 20 minutes at a time

it's getting so sore this hand you're tense. Is it hard to hold that down? No. But I think I'm squeezing it real hard. Oh, you're just anxious. Yeah. I would try to like, alright, let's just lay our hand on top of this. But then I'm just like,

let's squeeze it with the might of a thousand suns. So yeah, I got some practicing to do i gotta get better but i'm enjoying um what i've done it's really cool uh like it looks so nice in my garage i was going to pull it into the living room and because it's like a it to me it looks like a piece of artwork it's so fucking cool yeah it looks really cool i like the color scheme you want with uh you know it's it's... I like that you switched bikes and your helmet still matches. And I wonder how intentional that was. If the

guy at Mountain Motorsports was like, you know, we've got three motorcycles you might be interested in. You went with the black and red one. They had a blue one and maybe it was an MT-07 maybe. They might have had a blue MT-07 and I was just like, nah, that won't match. And then they might have had a mto7 and i or uh and i was just like no that won't that

won't match and then they had i think a white and red one and it actually kind of would have worked yeah yeah yeah but um but this one it was just like oh shit this is perfect everything matches it's probably safer to drive a white bike right visibility i i mean it's safer to have a white helmet like i think of it almost like a um a lighthouse you know the top of your head the the best color is the high-vis yellow green thing yeah and the second best is white which is what my helmets are now i i i thought about that so what i did is i went and got one of those tiki torches and uh i attacked that from top and lit her up so once they lit though It's a damn shame.

Maybe if you just stream a Confederate flag behind it. Oh, I'm way ahead of you. Eight feet. I think that may be part of what threw my balance off. That tall flagpole holding all glory back there. That's what it is when I turn my head.

Just a giant Confederate flag behind you. Yeah, everybody gives her a salute Confederate flag. Yeah, yeah. Everybody gives her a salute when I drive by, though. We're in Georgia. I stand in attention. Tears, tears roll down old men's cheeks. As just like a car driver, I appreciate when motorcyclists

wear unbelievably loud clothes, where it's like, okay, like, this guy, it feels like they're taking a little more accountability for the fact that they're like, okay, like I, this guy, it feels like they're taking a little more accountability for the fact that they're like, you know, out. So like the nature of motorcycling is like, you are kind of putting the onus of your responsibility a little bit on cars around you just by the nature of it. And so it's kind of like, okay, this guy gets it. He's not like

dressed like an assassin, you know, at 8 PM in the fall. I would have bought more, uh, more flashy like clothes or more visible clothes, but I just didn't have them. in the fall. I would have bought more flashy clothes or more visible clothes, but I just didn't have them. Everything was black. I was just like, yep, that'll do. It's popular. I went to that Harley dealership. I told you the story already that they had that

great fluorescent orange rain gear. I was buying women's clothes. Yeah. fluorescent orange rain gear but i was buying women's clothes yeah it's harder to avoid than it should be it really is um i was talking to my friend that uh that rides and she's got a harley and i was like what kind of gear do you wear and she's like i just wear a leather jacket and some jeans. I'm just like, oh! I was like, I guess you've never fallen.

Oh, all the time. All the time. She's still rolling with the jeans. Jesus Christ. Is it a Sportster 883? I don't know my Harleys that well. Iron 883. An Iron 883. Iron 883.

Is she unusually strong for a girl or kind of a normal woman? Just a little tiny girl. She cannot pick her bike back up. At all? There's no way. There's no way she can pick it up. For people who don't know the Harley 883, it's not a big Harley, but it is a Harley. It's not a light bike. Yeah, it's heavier than my bike. It has to be. Just the engine alone. Is it more powerful than your bike um it has to be i mean just the engine alone i mean it's a is it more powerful than your bike or about yeah well it's oh that's a good question because i've got like a four

four-cylinder like japanese engine and she's got like that harley american kind of a traditional v-twin yeah i i don't i mean i would guess her torque is similar or maybe even more down low but that it doesn't rev as high and can't go as like runs out of power on the interstate perhaps yeah um i know if we were in a race she'd beat me that's all that matters i think well she's lighter than you too that's not she's more miles i i did get on it a little bit like um because dustin told me like he said something like when you get to 8500 rpms it really start it that's what it likes you know it's it's it's doing something then so like there was one point after i was a little comfortable

with it like from like fourth to fifth to sixth i hit 8500 rpms all the way and then i went to 8500 in sixth gear and it was screaming and it sounded so fucking good. And it, I was hanging on because it wanted to pull me off. It was, it was really fun. I knew it. I knew it. Everyone I'd tell like, Hey, your first bike should be like a 500 to 650, et cetera. They say, nah, I'll get a leader bike.

I'm just responsible. I'm not, I'm not going to do that. What were you six minutes into your riding career? When you hit 8,500 RPM? I was going slow. I just wanted to hear the bike. You were in fourth, fifth, and sixth. You weren't

going that slow? I was going highway speeds. I wasn't speeding too much. I let off real quick. I didn't get too fast. I was afraid to go too fast. It was afraid to go too fast. It gets loud when you go fast, and it's scary. The air gets loud.

The wind. The air gets loud, and it started raining on me a little bit. And just the raindrops hit. I had my thing zipped down to like three quarters or something to let some air in. And the raindrops just hitting my naked chest and neck area really did hurt. If I was wearing an open- helmet, it would be, I'd pull over. So you don't have hearing protection under your helmet yet, right? No, I really do need that. But I've heard a lot that I do need it.

So we may go to that. Yeah, no, you do. You need that. And it's one of those things where like, those things where there's the bang, which is bad for you, but you're standing next to a jet engine for 40 minutes at a time. It hurts your hearing. No, I believe you.

I've heard that. I've read that. I've been told that. I believe it. It didn't seem loud. It seemed loud, but it didn't seem loud enough to cause damage. I think you spent a lot of time between 40 and 60 and it gets a lot worse between 60 and 75.

Oh, yeah. I believe that. I'm just wondering if I'm under 60, if I'm okay. I'm not sure. I'm not sure either. It didn't seem that loud. It really didn't. At one point, I was singing a song to myself and I could hear myself will be interesting is for you to like when you add a carter system to your helmet that plays music yeah you'll have like the music that you

listen to at 50 miles an hour and then you'll hear that same thing stopped and be like what have i been doing to myself i am this is cranked super loud that makes sense yeah but but yeah real fun um again thanks to the guys at conyers um super helpful super helpful i had such a good experience there um if my next motorcycle if i'm still here in the state uh i'll definitely buy it there like there's no reason not to. What were the brands they carried? I'm curious. They had everything. They had a lot of used bikes.

I don't even know if they had a lot of... I didn't really look at any new inventory. I'm not sure if they had any. Everything was used and in pristine condition. They had some Kawasaki's and Yamaha's and Honda's. I didn't really look at some of the traditional bikes but i think i noticed a harley or two maybe and some uh some other stuff on the other side and they have like tons of like off-roading stuff like atvs and um those big crazy polaris things and those uh like side by sides that look like they

can do some sportster stuff. They had a little bit of everything. I haven't caught on to the pattern of dealers sell these brands together. You know if there's a Taco Bell, it's often paired with, is it a Pizza Hut? Yeah, Yum! Brand, right? Okay. I think they're all owned by Pepsi, I think. Yeah, a big conglomerate, yeah.

But you go to a motorcycle dealer and it's like, these guys sell Honda, Yamaha, and Suzuki dealer and it's like, these guys sell Honda, Yamaha and Suzuki. And I was like, Oh, the Japanese ones. And this other one sells KTM and Honda. And I'm like,

Oh, well that, that breaks the pattern. And then this one sells KTM, BMW and Indian. And I'm like, well, I'm not catching on at all.

Like it, is it just random? I don't know. I don't know either. Maybe there's some deals that some of them take advantage of, but some of them don't. Maybe Honda's like, hey, if you refuse to carry the Triumph bikes, you get this and that. I don't know. I don't know what it could be.

But mostly used inventory there. But like I said, my bike had 1,500 miles on it. And the only thing that made you aware that it was a used bike was the accessories that had been added onto it. So it's got the slide bars on the side, the fender delete. And now the dent in the tank. And the dent in the tank. Yeah. That is indicative of use.

That's an accessory Kyle added. I added that one. Yep. I think of it as a racing stripe. You know, it makes it go faster. It's more aerodynamic now. It makes it go faster. It's more aerodynamic now.

I wonder if that... My friend used to have this Honda Prelude that he always raced or something. He took his car to dentless repair. Maybe it was called paintless repair or something like that. Paintless dent repair. Those guys work magic. If the dent doesn't need to be painted,

there are undenters that specialize in that kind of thing yeah and um when i worked at the car dealership we had a oh who am i talking to yeah carry on we had a real we had a guy who would come in and he was like the dent doctor and he had this whole kit and he would go in behind the dent and he had it kind of looked like that tool that if you've ever locked your keys in the car how they go in and they're able to like manipulate it yeah but he would go like down behind the uh the body panels like however he had to get there and he he would just like torque this thing and you could you could see like a knob like rubbing against the back of the dent slowly like massaging it out until it was like all the way out and like when

he got done you couldn't tell it was just really really impressive and that's the kind of dent i've got it's like not it's not creased it's not like yeah i don't think no time it's a really i think i'm the only one who would notice it like there's definitely no like scratch in the paint or anything like a piece of rubber hit it kind of hard is what happened i hate it when i do that like kyle there's this gun perhaps you're unfamiliar with it the cult python it's like oh wait a minute i'm talking to fucking kyle oh yeah from call of duty yeah yeah that it looks cool not good yeah the higher capacity nines at least in the in the game yeah you were talking about having the confederate flag in that room like hanging off the back and that reminded have you guys

watched top gear yes yeah so i've got back into watching that show again and like it it's just a show that's like around cars it's not really about the cars as much it's like watching like jeremy and and james your owner is this a stream thing? No, I've just been watching it on my own, like at night, like a background show. I don't like the regular episodes as much as like the specials, but I was rewatching one where it was like 2009.

They go to Alabama and they always try to fuck with each other. And like, usually you can tell that it's not quite as dangerous as they're trying to pretend it is because it is a show, semi-scripted and they, they were in deep Alabama and they're like, the challenge now is we have to write offensive things for Alabamans and

they're going to hate it. And so like the whole thing was like, you got to write on someone else's car, anything you want to try and get them killed in Alabama. And they did such a good job. Like James painted on some, he painted man. Love is great. Okay. And then another one was Hillary Clinton for president. One was country Western is rubbish. And like, they got maybe like, like 15 miles and like,

they're all afraid. Like there's like big truckers driving by like like clearly not liking it they pull into a gas station it's the absolute most real moment on the show in the history of the show where this woman comes out and she's like you guys just uh saying how long it takes to get uh beat up around here this kind of shit on your car and they're like yes actually they're trying to get gas. They're doing the VO afterward. It was at that point she informed us she was going to get the boys. Immediately, they're like, I've got plenty of petrol

until the next station. We should get out of here. As they're trying to get up and leave, you can hear rocks being thrown at their cars. You can tell it's real because like, usually like all the zany situations, the camera guy's still there. He's the,

it's like, no, the camera guys run down. It's like Blair, which like, Oh, get away. And it shows them like pull into like an alley,

like 10 miles down the road and like frantically pouring Coca-Cola all over their cars to get rid of the messages. It was like oh i was cracking up but anyway i i fucking love that show i i can't get enough of all the new ones still good i really haven't followed it after they left is it bbc yeah yeah the new one's called grand tour and it's like four or five seasons it's still really good uh i i enjoy it i like i said i like it when they're they go further with amazon like the bbc thought it was like a car show and so they'd be like you're gonna do like you're gonna talk

about the cars and you're gonna do this and like amazon's like hey how about you guys all pick a boat out and try and make it across cambodia and they're like all right like it has nothing to do with cars but that's that's the point uh and there's a newer show even than that called clarkson's farm on amazon that i've been watching and apparently jeremy clarkson is so bored of like car stuff that he just bought a thousand acre farm in great britain and he builds an actual farm like he conscripts like farmers and shit and of course he's joking around the whole time, like literally planting food. He buys like 100 sheep and he becomes a sheep farmer, helping them like birth and stuff. It's really, really good. So I highly recommend that show on Amazon.

Yeah, Clarkson's. Oh, Richard Hammond. Of course, you know who he is. For people who don't know, he's like the, I don't know if he's younger, but he looks younger. He's better looking and he's shorter. That's the one that he is. He was feuding with his neighbors. I forget what they were so upset about.

Yeah. I think maybe he was like running his John Deere and making noise and they didn't like what he was doing with his house. So he bought his neighbor's house and ended the feud. It's fucking baller oh yeah these guys are like it's such a global show like i was watching an interview where they were like is there someone's like is there anywhere in the world you guys have gone where that people don't recognize you and they're like no we pulled up to uh and they call james may captain slow because he never puts his foot down no matter how much it's needed and he said he was going up to like a hut in syria and like way before the war in like 2011 or something and

he was like going to like refill his i don't know his cooling system and he's like this guy doesn't have electricity he's just a shack in the middle of syria and as he's walking up the guy's like welcome to my country mr slow and it's like jesus christ like you really are like a global phenomenon if a shack guy in syria knows who you are so that's that'd be wild to be like globally famous that way where like you go to china and people are like oh it's a top gear guy like that's crazy maybe not china they probably don't suck though right they definitely suck at times for sure i'm sure the money uh helps a good bit you know being like probably a hundred millionaire or something crazy everyone says

that it doesn't help like it's nice but it's separate right true true i mean i i guarantee that's probably why clarkson bought a thousand acre farm like and a thousand acre like we're americans and so it's like yeah that's nothing like wild but like in the uk like that's a ridiculous sized farm apparently that the house next to richard hammond was 1.2 million pounds so maybe two million dollars that's a lot yeah yeah two million dollars because his neighbor was angry or fussing at him like oh are you fussing at me two million it just problem solved get the hell out of here i'm the top of your guy fuck you yeah i had a little bit of a medical kerfuffle so yeah what happened yeah you know i had that cancer again kyle god i hope not um so i had that

uh like cold flu thing going on last week and a little bit before that. And I was telling you that like I blew my nose so hard that it gave me a black eye and it was kind of swollen. Well, it turned out that that's not what had happened. I had gotten a stye in my eye. A stye is an infection in your eyelid. Usually it's on the outside of your eyelid. But I had one on the inside of my eyelid. So like if I like pulled my eye open

like that then you could see it and uh it was just getting more and more swollen and i woke up one morning and it was just really painful and i was like i looked in the mirror it was all red and puffy and i was like we gotta go to the doctor we gotta go to the doctor so uh i called and they're like yeah you can actually come in today and uh and I walked in and the doctor was like, yeah, that's a sty. So once I knew that, he was like, keep it like a cold compress on it and then a warm compress and use these antibiotic eye drops. Are they dangerous or just annoying like pink eye? I guess it could get dangerous. Like maybe.

I don't know. But when I got home, I looked at it. Now that I knew that it was a stye, I was like, maybe we can pop this thing. And so I pulled my eyelid back, and I could see how swollen it is in there. So I just started pressing here really hard, and it popped and sprayed so much rotten milk looking pus into my eye so much like so much like i can't three gallons it's in your eyes just couldn't you like flip it reverse it and pop it like outwards like because i had my eye like peeled down so much like it didn't get everywhere. It was just

pooling up on top of the inside of the eyelid. I very carefully, without blinking, took a Q-tip and got as much of it out of there as I could before it got mixed around in my eyeball. Then I used tons of those antibiotic eye drops to really flush it out.

So the pink eye doesn't set in. I don't think it would be pink it might be fucking getting green for all i know uh if you get that in there and it's only from fecal matter i think so i think so that's what i thought since grade school that's like why anytime somebody had pink eye when you were like 12 it's like ah joey got shit in his eye remember yeah yeah. It hurt so fucking much, but it immediately felt like a lot better once I popped it

and got all that pressure released. Did the doctor tell you to pop it or did you just take it, just get it done? He said I could pop it if it looked like it was ready to be popped, but on the internet, it says never pop.

Oh. But I trust, I was going to go with what the doctor told me rather than the internet um and honestly like it felt so much better after i popped it and like every day since then it's gotten better i can still feel it's a it's like a little swollen there i'm sure like it's not completely gone but i put in those eye drops every uh three hours or something like that and it's been getting progressively better. It doesn't hurt anymore. You've had a terrible luck of the draw with eye stuff this past year.

All sorts of shit. All sorts of shit. Just always something. I always expect the worst. That way you're never surprised. Maybe you're not getting it all out. I got a good finger update. I went to the hand surgeon who I've been going to for advice on the finger.

And he was really pleased with how well I could do this business with the broken finger, which if you listen to the audio version, like make a fist. The straightening it isn't going to get – it might get a little better than this, but it's not going to get a lot better. That's just my new world. That's as straight as you need it. I don't think that I look deformed you know with that so uh uh it's two and a half or literally 2.8 millimeters shorter than it used to be which i don't notice but like i asked him about that on the way out i'm like is it are you sure it's shorter i can't see it he's like well clinically you're not gonna see it but let's look at the X-ray. And he starts detailing, like, these are how your bones are supposed to go together.

These are how they are now. But you could see in Tuesday's X-rays the new bone forming and how it was starting to seal together. It was all like, there's the break, obvious. But it was all cloudy and stuff. And he put the last month and this month right next to each other. And he's like, this thing's not going to break again. Like you're, you're kind of stable. It's growing. I was cleared to do everything, but like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA, which he specifically mentioned boxing and Jits. And I was like, I kind of aged out of that shit. I don't want to do that anyway, but even that he's like two weeks and you'll be cleared to do that too.

So, uh, um, but yeah but yeah you know like there were no gym restrictions or anything like that and uh i should be roughly okay you could always go to china and get that surgery that they usually do on legs but just have them re-break your finger to lengthen it i talked about that actually let's all do that let's all go get ridiculous very long fingers there's a little uh like horn on it which is why it doesn't straighten up. Picture a pencil and then you break it diagonally. So mine's just slid a little bit. That's what's up.

So there's a little horn that's stuck out the side. I'm like, can we just cut it open, shave that off? And he's like, yeah, I could. I could. I could give you a perfect x-ray. But the problem is then you've got this tendon damage and that's not going to be it's going to be limp it needs to i guess it extends over that horn and he's like you know now you're shortening the length at which the tendon needs to go oh look at kyle you'll get and uh then you get this

so he he was my idea of just like fixing the bone. He's like that is down. She's like if this is my finger, I'm not touching it. We're done. This is this is what you got. So that's where I am. It's going to be mostly okay. That's what's going on here. Like the tendon that's running here is like extra long. So it allows this

to happen. Like your stop, your tendon stops your finger from like there. Mine just keeps going. Yeah. It seems like your tendon would be short to be able to accomplish that. That's what I was thinking too initially. No, extra long, right? It's going to start on the top of your arm, behind your wrist. And it's going to connect.

Some of them connect just before each knuckle. So in your case, the tendon starting here and it's connecting here and yours is so short that you have the capability of pulling it extra. Hmm. Perhaps, perhaps in my head, it's the opposite, but, but I'm, I'm no, I'm no finger doctor. Um, I gained all my medical knowledge. Like I'm an expert in the things I've busted. You got any ankle questions any finger questions you want to is any acl questions these are my areas of expertise you know you have really good like warlock hands like you could like do gnarled like spell casting

hand looking things like you know in movies yeah it's a little too little much sight of taylor's wedding ring what do you got going on there is this is this is a piece of rubber this i wasn't sure yeah so it's one of the safety rings yeah i just yeah because you do all you do all that mechanical stuff in your spare time it's so much mechanical stuff man you do lift weights though so i guess that's a that's true i don't want to wear my tungsten ring when i'm using my barbell and stuff it would tear imagine imagine if you drop something on that finger like a like a like a weight or something and it's crushed a golden ring to the point where it was smushing

your finger and like you'd have to go run and get pliers and squish it the opposite way and hope that like it like rounded out then you would turn it square i don't want any of that maybe it turns square then and it's just stuck that now you've got to get like, they make this wire that's kind of like a file that you have to loop in there and pull with both hands and saw it into then, if you're lucky. I'm just going to use the rubber rings forever

I think. They're so cheap on Amazon. They're convenient and funny enough, even wearing the rubber ring when I lifted today, I was like I don't like the way this feels. I'm taking this off. Like, it just feels like a mess with your grip. I bought a rubber ring not long ago, call it like two months ago.

And it was too small, but I tried to convince myself it wasn't, you know, like under the best of situations, it was only a tiny bit too small. Like when I'm, I don't know, morning dehydrated, but it's cool and I'm not sweaty and not puffy or anything. And I was like, it's fine. It's fine. And then later, like, you know, when you are hot and sweaty and puffed up, my finger was turning purple. I'm like, it's totally not fine. I can literally see like I'm losing this finger right now because of this dumb ass ring. Jesus Christ. That's way too tight. If you want to talk about injuries, did you watch the Conor McGregor fight?

I didn't, I didn't watch it live. I didn't watch it live. Yeah. I watched it live and I've, I've seen like all the videos around it. The slow-mos I've seen more than one doctor break it down. And I I'm as informed as I know how to be.

It appears, if people didn't watch the fight, here's what happened. Dustin Poirier was fighting Conor McGregor. Conor won, I don't know, five years ago. Dustin won six months ago. This was going to be the rubber match, the one that decides who's the better fighter. I thought Conor looked pretty good on the feet for a few seconds but by and large Dustin beat the hell out of this guy um it the first round did finish and two judges scored at 10-8 for Dustin and the other one had at 10-9 a 10-8 round isn't super common maybe one in every 20 rounds will be so lopsided that they granted a 10-8. And this was one of those. Dustin got the top.

He was raining elbows down on him, et cetera. At one point, Connor was like grabbing Dustin's, if I remember the fight correctly, grabbing Dustin's glove by the cuff, which is cheating. And he was using that to get up kicks on him. And Dustin was like, fuck it, I'm out of here. And he let Connor stand up. glove by the cuff which is cheating and he was using that to get up kicks on him and dustin was like fuck it i'm out of here and he let connor stand up and then connor was uh he kicked him one time on the thigh and maybe on the elbow and then he took a step back and his leg broke just above the ankle it was a it's a tib fib if you guys know that at all. It means both bones in the leg broke.

And visually, it looks like he got a second ankle. It's something people aren't used to seeing. It looks terrible. And there you have it. So Dustin felt like he damaged it by checking it early in the fight. And you can see it. He checks it, and then he points to it like, I got you. That was worse for you than it was for you. You kicked me, and you lost something. Dustin felt like that was when it happened. Some doctors and fight experts, Kyle, you muted,

thought it was when he hit his elbow, but Connor says that they had some stress fractures going into the fight. They had a doctor look at it. And I heard his coach talk about it. His coach was like, you'd think looking at x-rays is a really obvious science that like someone could look at an x-ray and know what's up. But with stress fractures,

it's closer to listening to an engine, you know, and where like maybe a really trained ear here, something, but you can't be a hundred percent sure. And, and so they cleared him to fight, but Connor had a vibe that his leg wasn't a hundred percent going into the

fight. And Connor is kind of using this to say that he didn't really lose. Yeah. Yeah. When Connor's down, he's going, Dr. Stoppage, Dr. Stoppage. He's he's screaming it like this doesn't mean anything this doesn't mean anything the doctor waved it off

if the doctor said go i'd fucking limp back in there he's letting him know like this doesn't fucking count and i guess dana is like dana likes making money so in the press conference, Dana's like, you know, I guess now Dustin fights for the title. So he fights is it Charles Oliveira? The guy with the shockingly white teeth. Like they are so fake and white that it's, he got boogie teeth. They are ridiculous.

I never noticed his teeth. Charles Oliveira. And like they hurt to look at. They are so bright. Oh. Yeah. And I would love.

I'm looking at the Charles Oliveira pictures. He seems to intentionally not smile for pictures. They are absurd. And this is a man who could afford teeth. He is the lightweight champion of the UFC. I doubt he's like getting like a great deal yet because he's not super popular or anything however that man can you know in that top right photo it looks handsome okay like like they're just too white

they're they're not they're not as big as i remember them being they're just so white they're very tone that down three shades more more dark and and and it's an improvement are these is real teeth or these like veneers he got because can't be you would think a fighter like maybe he got him knocked out at some point right that would make sense yeah i mean why not go for super white teeth if you're gonna do it because because then like jackass is like us like make fun of you i don't think i'll hear it yeah yeah he probably won't hear about you never know though you never Because then jackasses like us make fun of you on the internet. I don't think he'll hear it. Yeah, he probably won't hear about it. You never know, though. Maybe he gets some bad Google reviews.

How is his English? He's Brazilian, right? I don't know how his English is. Brazilians are notorious for not doing very well with English in the fighting world, right? Some do, some don't. If you look at Amanda Nunez and what's his name?

The fucking... That Chael had the whole thing with. Anderson Silva, maybe? Yeah, of course. It's passable. And it gets worse when they have to defend themselves against steroid accusations. All of a sudden,

me no speak of the English. Out of nowhere, the day before before they were given a fucking dissertation in front of like a full uh it's uh you never know but um so poor yeah dana said all right so you're gonna fight um he'll fight charles for the title and then i guess you know you do the rematch with connor it's whenever connor's ready to go. And I'm just like, what? Are you serious? Like, like, like the fourth one.

There are no bigger Connor fans than me. I love what an awful human being he is. I love it. And I love that as an awful human being, he says, oh, you believe in karma, do you? Fuck that. Like, no, he's always winning. But like on the pre-fight thing they had this like thing where they showed like the uh sport the best paid sports stars for last

year he is so far ahead like he makes lebron look silly he makes like the like like those two uh soccer players who were like really uh famous silly. He made $180 million by, by selling his, his liquor company and all of his other endorsements last year, like 180 million last year. Are you sure that's it? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I thought it was like 600 million. That's his probably his net worth. But, but like 180 just last year that he, that he made. And as an awful human being. Like he's laying on the ground with his ankle broken,

and he's yelling, you're going to get it. I'm coming for you, you and your wife. You and your wife. Your wife's in my DMs. Your wife's in my DMs. You and your wife. You're both going to get it. I don't know what the thing is with dustin's wife because what he said is that dustin's wife is in his dms i think on instagram

maybe twitter and that she wanted to see the pubic hair around his dick and i'm like is this completely made up out of whole cloth is he he stretching it from something? That didn't bother Poirier. Is he stretching it? Connor showed screenshots of her requesting to DM with it. That's surprising. So Dustin is like, the wife stuff doesn't bother me at all. I don't care. I know that that's

not even a hint of true. It's bullshit. But the, you're going to come to my house and murder me. If I pull out of this fight, you're going to murder me and my family and my children. That seemed like a cross, but he felt uncomfortable with that. And I thought, actually, I'm going to kill you is just random bullshit. But I heard it then. But then I heard it.

And it just came across differently when connor who is actually an irish like gangster thug street urchin like says that it has a different vibe to it yeah yeah he connor like is tweeting like pictures of dustin with like his little daughter and she's like nine or something and he's just like i can't remember what connor said but he's like i'm a nasty man you don't want to mess with me like i'm coming for you and it's like there's some implied stuff there like like if it's almost like he's implying he's gonna go hurt that man's nine-year-old girl yeah that's what he's trying to do without ending up back in court and and look i don't think Conor has any intention

of hurting this man's nine-year-old girl. However, Conor's like, his left might be what most people think is his best attribute as a fighter, or maybe his mobility or his length, especially when he's at 145. No, his best skill as a fighter is getting in the heads of other people.

And say what you want, like it definitely didn't work against Khabib. It just made Khabib like hurt him more, but against like, um, Jose Aldo, it worked. Cause Jose is like some,

like, let's face it. Low IQ individual from the favela. Who's a fucking amazing fighter. And just the toughest man from, from Brazil at that point at that weight class anyway and he just couldn't wrap his head around this he's like from some sort of like he's like one of those japanese guys from an honor society from like world war ii who's like coming to like bow to

you and this guy's like i'm gonna fucking burn your dojo down i'm gonna fuck your little girl on the asshole and he's like oh he said he was gonna do these things and he like threw him off like like he was clearly like and and even if you go back and watch that fight i'm sure we all have like 13 seconds 19 seconds it's 13 seconds i've seen it 100 times and and rogan's joe rogan's like jose looks he looks stiff he's and you can tell jose out is coming out like god is he he doesn't have a gun does he he didn't bring the gun did he like and connor's just looking so loose he's just like loosey goosey i liked um you know dustin poirier is a better fighter than connor he's kicked his twice in a row now and he's like you know i think that guy crossed the line you know he's like you know he's on the ground saying he's gonna kill my family he's like

fuck him i'll kick his ass again like damn straight you will damn straight you will don't give that guy the respect and certainly don't show him any fear you've kicked his ass twice in a row now you're making multi-millions out of this good for you dustin poirier is a good guy yeah he uses his post-fight speeches not to set up his next fight but to pimp his charity he's like we're trying to build playgrounds for kids you know like he's an actual good person and connor's over there you better not let your daughter go out on the playground because i'll be there i'm gonna single-handedly burn down every playground you try and put up. Every dollar you put towards the fucking playgrounds, I'll put free from a whiskey company and tear it down.

Buying up all the playgrounds and burning them. Just like, what an ass. Wait, so they're doing a fourth fight? No, they're absolutely doing a fourth fight. McGregor versus Poirier fight because they have to be sure. When Dana says that they're going to do a fourth fight or they're going to schedule this, it's not smart to put a lot of weight in that. He often doesn't keep his word.

There are some interesting things. I wouldn't mind seeing Conor against an up-and-comer, right? Build the next guy's name. Hear this. Conor against an up-and-comer, right? Build the next guy's name. Hear this, Conor against Nate Diaz, right? Nate Diaz is also, what, one in three in his last couple fights. Conor's one in four in his last UFC fights. He's one win out of five if you count the Floyd Mayweather fight. One win out of six if, like me, you give the win to that old guy in the bar who refused to drink his whiskey and took his shot like he was nothing.

Conor hasn't won a fight in his last six engagements. Set him up against Nate Diaz. Set him up against Tony Ferguson. There's some good fights to see other than just watching Conor get mauled by people who have spent the last five years in the gym honing their skills. Nate Diaz, his record isn't very good. That's why he belongs in the ring with Connor his record's not very good either con well nate diaz is 20 and 13 connor's 28 no 22 and 6 he's won in five in his last five fight his last six fights it's bad he's won like one fight in five years or

something yeah yeah he's he's really pivoted to them you know and the one fight he won donald serrani is not an impressive win that guy's like my age or something and he says he doesn't win fights either yeah it became less impressive as like donald continued to fail after that yeah it was like oh i think he fought like a real like a version of donald that was really heading downhill uh it was an impressive fight it was cool to watch like like those shoulder strikes like like it was like oh shit like he just finished him so fast and so easily and so unconventionally like and he looked no there was no ring rust or anything it was it was a very convincing win and it seemed like a legit win at the time,

like he was back. But then he was inactive again, and then the Khabib fight. I don't know, man. It's been rough. Like I said, you won't find a bigger Conor fan than me, but I'm pretty – look, I want to watch him fight Poirier again, and I think he will. Poirier? I want to watch him fight.

That's a fight because Poirier – Tony Ferguson. Tony Ferguson. Tony Ferguson has a chin. Tony Ferguson has a chin. Tony Ferguson has a motor. Conor McGregor is probably the scariest first-round fighter we've seen in a while. I want to see Conor perhaps bloody up Tony Ferguson, him not go anywhere, and then let's see how rounds two and three go as he tries to dig himself out of that hole.

That's a fight I'd like to see. They don't care what you want to see, dana wants him to fight poirier poirier wants to fight connor connor wants to fight poirier poirier and when you've got that trifecta going that's what's going to happen you make sense i also think you're placing a lot of weight in like dana's word and stuff and dana likes making money. Say what you will, Conor's got such a huge fan base. They want to see it. He is selling this whole doctor stoppage thing so well as like, oh, it didn't count. This whole thing didn't count? My leg broke itself?

I broke my leg. I broke it. The MMA world is totally unimpressed with Conor's bullshit. They're putting him there with sugar when he broke his leg and said he didn't really lose. Him on the ground pretending that that was going well for him, he got 10-8-ed in that round.

That round finished. He got his ass kicked. And him on the ground unable to accept his losses, his coach saying that he didn't see any room for improvement, the whole thing just reeks of a guy who's looking for brain damage from a guy who's actually been trained i saw connor's like most recent like post um where he's literally on a scooter um going down going down the sidewalk and he's just like um he's talking shit on a rascal he's talking shit on a rascal i swear to god like you can't make

this up he's on a rascal talking shit and he's just like um he says something like you know he had me on my back there but because my leg had already been had the stretch uh stress fractures i had been practicing off my back a lot that's why i'm very dangerous down there you started seeing those up kicks those elbows and stuff and i was hurting him and that's why he was backing off and i'm like i think he was backing off because he wanted you to stand up so he could hit you some more yeah he is real quick you guys mentioned the tweets i i just saw them he so he just posted a photo of poirier and his family and then the one that

all these are deleted and then the reply to it was him just saying Gonzo Gonzo like here's all your kids Gonzo. I don't know what that means It means he's like get out of here you're Gonzo I'm thinking it's a kind of porn Oh no

he's saying like you're out of here we're going to get rid of you and then What kind of porn would Gonzo porn be? Isn't it a kind of thing? I'm not 100% sure. Gonzo is a character from Sesame Street, right? Is it the Muppets or something? Muppets.

Muppets. Is that it? I knew it was some kind of a puppet. Yeah. Alexi Flexi, DAP'd by Gonzo Monster Cock Team. Gonzo, known as the Great Gonzo or Gonzo the Great, is the Muppet with the long phallic nose so i'm right i'm right gonzo pornography is a style of pornographic film that attempts to place

the viewer directly in the scene oh well i just knew about the muppet gonzo porn is influenced by amateur porn and tends to use far fewer full body wide shots in favor of more close ups. So that's what gonzo porn is. I'm trying to find the Muppet gonzo porn, but I just found an image of Mulan getting fucked in the ass. Did you send me

a picture of Mulan? Yeah, I'll fire that right over. Yeah, I could send it too. I've got it. Muppet porn. I'll make a man out of you. Let's see if you. I've got it. I'll make a man out of you. Let's see if you can climb this pole, bitch. You'd have a lot of fun with that. Didn't she do the same thing? Did she climb the pole

or did she smarten up and knock it down? She took her bandana off or whatever and wrapped it around and used the leverage. She climbed it the smart way. That's a step better than Captain America who just unbolted it at the bottom. Yeah, that's cheating. So he didn't even climb it? No, he didn't. He just unbolted

it and the flagpole fell down. Well, zero. That wasn't the challenge, sir. Oh, you have a shield and super strength. You pass. Well, he had it. Yeah, it was before. You don't watch marvel yeah did you watch all of loki i watched all of loki so do we want to put a spoilers tag up or not for

throw it up all right i want to hear just right off the start your guys out of 10 ratings and then the whole season i give it an almost a nine, like really high eight. Yeah. Okay. I went seven and a half. Um, I enjoyed it a lot. The final episode sunk it a bit for me. And this is a bit of a spoiler because I like,

you know, shit to happen. And it really just ended as, Oh, this entire year has been spent setting up next year and i'm like oh okay so really we're just learning something new about the universe and that's how it ended yeah yeah that that did happen uh um i i agree i did not care for the last episode very much. But yeah, yeah.

I didn't like the last episode very much. I really didn't. I do like that they threw King the Conqueror in there. Everybody's been like thinking that King the Conqueror was going to be the big bad and he was going to be the guy at the center of this thing. And sure enough, there he is. Do you have like a 25-minute monologue or something in the final? Maybe I'm exaggerating. 15 minutes?

You know, most of the episode is three people sitting at a table talking. I think it's fair to say that. Obviously, there's some like sword fighting and, you know, there's some developments and there's some real cool CGI. Is that called exposition? Exposition. some developments and there's some real cool cgi but is that called exposition where it's like damn it kyle i don't care if you did graduate harvard medical school i'm still your big brother yeah um that you that is an example of exposition uh i don't know if that would be considered exposition it was sort of just him like yeah maybe so like he's just telling the story though he's he's he's like it was like when you get to the final castle in mario and you like finally figure out what's been going on or

whatever like that's what it felt like a lot like all right you're here i'm gonna tell you what's been going on here and it made a lot of sense like like he did have to have some kind of uh like why is he doing this why does he care about variants why does he care about multiple timelines why does there only need to be one and uh it was a really excellent way to explain why he did that. He has to be the only King, the Conqueror, because when you've got a whole multiverse full of King, the Conquerors, they're so OP that they just go to interdimensional war and destroy everything. So that was interesting. Some of them do, right? Some of them shared technology and peace and were wonderful people.

And some of them were too warring, if I recall. Yeah, yeah. But if one of them starts the war, then now we all have to fight anyway. So that was interesting. I guess I didn't like that all of the trust that had seemingly been built up between Loki and Sylvie

was kind of cast aside and all of a sudden like she can't sit on her hands for a few minutes so he's just like pleading with her he's like let's just think about this for a second and he's making so much sense and uh and she can't she can't get on board with it and she has to kill the guy which uh they were about to like i don't know fall in love and be a couple and start a timeline or something i would have taken that deal right if that like they're like bullshit bullshit like they just can't trust anyone and i think it may have been a legitimate deal he was just like how about i give you your own reality where you defeated the avengers you kill thanos and you two are a couple i wish they'd been like make it happen that's the new show and there's just like they start playing like pop music like

and this is like it's just like him winning at every turn like it's the whole marvel anything loki always loses like i but but this is the alternate reality right where that he like makes this happen for him and they just go through like the entire catalog of marvel movies like every bad guy every good and loki's there just like judo chopping them they just vaporize in front of him like like that would have been a cool way to just make it one season. And out of, out of laugh and out of like felt good for them. And like,

there's, you know, you see them raising like little Loki children who like look identical to both of them, I guess. Maybe if they did that for one and a half episodes before they realized the flaw in that wonderful world or something. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I, I, I dug it, but the, the, the ending was a bit of a letdown although it's nice that there's a season two you know it's nice there's a season two um i i uh i think they're doing a great thing at marvel you know they're just they continue

at every fucking turn of the past to destroy dc and to make dc look foolish like like now dc is gotta be sitting over there like, well, I guess maybe we get on HBO with some shows or something. Like maybe we can do something there. But I don't think they can. I think that if they do, it'll just be bad. I think it'll just be bad. There's a lot of future left.

There could be a world where this turns. But you're right. There's been no indication that DC is going to get as good as Marvel. I don't know. I don't think it's that the characters are wrong. They just haven't been able to make better movies and build a better universe.

They keep trying to take shortcuts. That's that. August 6th, Suicide Squad comes out. I'm interested, but... It can't be worse than the first one. That was awful. It looks good.

It looks better than the first one. Yes, you're right. It's like a rewrite. They're just like, nah, the first one didn't count. This is a whole new thing. They've recast all the characters except for Harley Quinn.

Like when they did Ed Norton as Hulk, when they were just like, delete that from your memory. Yeah. The dog's funny, yeah. Yeah, and that all because edward norton was so difficult to work with um and so they hired rough i hired mark ruffalo instead uh but yeah it um they'll never be as good as marvel because marvel just has a better creative team and even when dc tries to steal the creatives from marvel or at least hire them like that that's what they've done with the new Suicide Squad. It's James Gunn. They hired James Gunn to make it.

He's the guy who made Guardians. And I don't know. I just don't think it'll be as good. I think that they don't know how to be like, go do your own thing. Cause that's what Marvel did. Like Kevin Feige or whatever his name is. And the execs at Disney and Marvel were like,

you've got a vision for Guardians that you think will work? Yeah, absolutely. It's going to be fun. It's going to be pop music. We're doing a whole 70s soundtrack. Kurt Russell's going to be in it. They're like, wait, what? No, no, stick with me.

We've got that chunky guy from Parks and Rec. He's going to be our star. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? We've got this green bitch. She's going to be the love interest while she's black. But wait, you've got a black character who's going to be green? That's a double negative.

Like, we can't do this. Like, there's no way. We have to. She's an alien. Oh, okay. Okay. But, like, in the end, like, it's, like, one of my favorite movies from the whole universe. I've never heard of Guardians of the Galaxy.

Never. At this point, Marvel could be like, we're doing a new character. Like, oh, Woody, are you unfamiliar with the fucking keyboard man? And I'm like, oh, fucking, where's my popcorn? If it's Marvel, I want to see it. That's your destiny, you know. The pianist too.

It's totally different. Out of curiosity, I was looking this up not long ago. What actor do you think has been in the highest grossing films? His library of films is the highest. Samuel L. Jackson is the answer. It's wrong. Wait, Nat or on average? Collectively.

Leonardo DiCaprio. How can it not be Sam Jackson? Okay, well, hold on. Who was in... It'll make sense if I give you the answer. What about the Harry Potter guy, Daniel Radcliffe? Does that add up to be enough? Let me see if he's even... He's not in the top 20.

One of the top biggest movies. He's nowhere near it. Because the Marvel... Oh, Marvel. Sam Jackson is in almost every Marvel movie and he's... Okay, well then it's Robert Downey Jr. It's not Robert Downey Jr.

It can't be Robert Downey Jr. He's sixth. What? Who is it? I gotta know. Stan Lee. He's dead. Doesn't count. There's no way that's true. Stan Lee is in every Marvel movie. Stan Lee makes a cameo in every marvel movie that's why but those are the only movies he's in whereas sam jackson did every marvel movie plus 500 more every marvel movie though

where's samuel jackson in guardians of the galaxy where's samuel jackson in thor where's samuel jackson stan lee's in all those films. You would imagine that like... Is Sam Jackson second? Yes. Third I didn't pick. Frank Welker? I don't even know who that is. His top film was Transformers.

Oh, he's been in 112 films. That's why he is such a heightened thing. John Ratzenberger is fourth. He's been in 50 films, but his top one is Incredibles 2. Bob Bergen is fifth.

Minions is his top film. I guess if you do that Pixar shit, that's kind of cheating though. Dude, so if you look at this list, Marvel wrecks it. So this is the top 20. I'm going to go through it really quickly. Robert Downey Jr. 6, Warwick Davis. It's a Star Wars dude. Yeah, he's seventh. Alan Tadyuk from Frozen. But then here we go. Scarlett Johansson, Andy Serkis,

not a Star Wars. Paul Bettany, Chris Evans, Don Cheadle Zoe Salada that's Avatar Dwayne Johnson, Benedict Cumberbatch Jon Favreau, Jeremy Renner Idris Elba and Gwyneth Paltrow of this 20, like 13 of them are Marvel people

top grossing ever and it makes sense because not only are they incredibly popular but there's just off the top of my head I think think there's 28 films, like roughly. Like, I think it's approaching 30. Yeah. And now the TV shows. How?

That one is listed as dubious. And it's something to do with him getting credit for time bandits and size matters not but maybe he's not in those oh he was in harry potter also so he got some credit there i'm sure okay there's only there's only eight harry potter movies and they weren't like wildly successful they weren't making a billion in pop really i maybe Maybe I'm misremembering. I thought they were challenging at the time, like what, Avatar or Titanic? I guess it wasn't Avatar. I think they did really well. I think they were number one

those years, but I just don't think they made billions of dollars. These Marvel movies now are like a billion is like the benchmark almost. If you make a billion, that's like the bottom. It's like, all right, you got to a billion. I guess you can get a sequel. On a Marvel movie? I guess you got to a billion. I guess you can get a sequel. On a Marvel movie. I guess you can get a sequel.

I guess we'll do another one. But the big ones are doing a billion and a half or something, I think. I don't really pay attention to it anymore. Two even. I think some of them make two. Like with Avengers? Yeah. How does Avatar win?

All the way back from 2009. That movie just wasn't that good. I don't even remember. I can tell you why it did so well. 3D technology was a really big deal and everyone wanted to go try it. That makes total sense in retrospect. That's why I saw it. I don't know about this, but we all see dragons. It was a good enough movie, but really it was

the 3D thing that we were all hearing about and people wanted to try it. James Cameron, so that's his thing. No, wait, isn't it? Yeah, it's James Cameron. Yeah, and he also played Titanic. Yeah, he's two-thirds of the top three. Good for him.

If only he made Avengers Endgame, he'd have a... He's one of those directors who's like, he's made some of my favorite things of all time, but then he's just made garbage for the last 10, 15 years or something like that. It's been very upsetting. He plans on making not one more Avatar movie, not two more. I think it's like four or five more Avatar movies that are in the works. I kind of like that he did that deal.

He's like, look, Avatar is the highest grossing movie of all time. It might be second now, but that's when he made the deal i think it was one and uh he's like so i want a deal that makes six more movies or five more movies that's smarter than like hey let's make two and see how it does no he locked in everything he wanted out of the Avatar series based on the success of one movie, which I think the sales numbers just don't correspond to how good the movie was or how important the movie was. They outstrip it. Yeah. Yeah. I heard that Matt Damon got offered 10% of the profits for Avatar if he would star in it, and he turned it down.

What? Yeah. Profits in Hollywood, though, are sketchy. Oh, yeah. They'll lie about not making the money. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if he made a terrible decision.

Yeah. Of course, there's probably some loophole that his agent or some attorney is like, sounds good. Don't do that. Yeah. Turns out Avengers is like, sounds good. Don't do that. Like, yeah. Turns out, uh,

Avengers end game, not profitable. The Avatar series made $65. It seems like every actor has a story about that. How like, yeah, but it's Star Wars. Turns out,

hasn't made money yet like it may have been gross it was it was a it was a cool deal you know and uh and and of course um sean connery with lord of the rings they wanted him to play gandalf and they were they were gonna it was another one of those 10 deals or something like that it was a big percentage of i don't know what his deal was but tom cruise turned down iron man you You know this story. Thank God he did not play Gandalf. Jesus, that would have been horrible if Sean Connery... I've seen two hobbits.

Have you seen two hobbits fucking around not taking the ring that I told them to go? What about very old friends? Fly! Fly away, you fucking idiots. I have to fight the Balrog down in the depths, you know. Arwen, I'm not gonna not hit you just because you're a lady you don't think he could do a good job it would have been so

distracted maybe it's because it's like solidified in my head that ian mckellen is gandalf he's so good ian mckellen is just a better actor he's a a better actor. Than Sean Connery. Sean Connery plays different variations of Sean Connery. Yeah, I agree with that. Look no further than that Highlander movie that I always make fun of, where for some reason he plays a Spaniard with a Scottish accent. His name's Romero.

I'm not changing my accent. It's not going to happen. Yeah, it makes no sense. And the worst part about it is like all right that's the character that he's the age for and he's a big star and we've got him but his co-star is scottish like like is a scott like his co-star is like like um the character that he's playing with that's a scottish character who also cannot do a scottish accent because he's Belgian or something

like that. He's like Dutch or whatever. And so you've got like a Dutchman playing a Scotsman and a Scotsman playing a Spaniard. It's like the beginning of a joke. Co-starring. Yeah. And like neither one of them can do the correct accent. You would think Sean Connery could like coach him up on Scottish.

Yeah. Sean Connery could like coach him up on Scottish. Yeah. It distracts me when there's a whole cast of unknown actors and then like a Matt Damon or Sean Connery or something. It's like, look, you're either bringing in new guys or you're not. You can't just have Robert Downey Jr.

And then Taylor and I started a film. That is so true because it'll be like the beginning of the zombie movie. And it's all the no names. Like we got to get out of here. We got to gotta get out of here and then like tom cruise pulls up in a wagon it's like get in it's like all right i know who the hero is now i know who's got i know who cannot possibly be killed this zombie movie a bunch of nobody actors matt damon pops on the scene kills three zombies says how you like them apples and then you're like oh but that's from the boston thing fuck you like them apples he's like he's like out and out saying like i was also in the

departed again no he was only parted right no uh he yeah he was but the the line is from goodwill hunting how do you oh my bad What's your background, Taylor? I just wanted to seem smart, so I put someone's bookshelf behind me. Well, that is definitely a girl's room. I can tell by the chair. No. Well, I don't know what books are in there. Modernist Cuisine.

Kyle, you are muted. Oh, there's kids up there? Yeah, there's kids up there. That's like a family living room or something. There's a family tree. They're mormon really into genial if you want to like learn about genealogy talk to a mormon they are so fucking into that like they will track their genealogy like back to joseph smith making up that nonsense in the middle of missouri 150 years ago which is obviously that room appeals to me but i think

it's been decorated by a girl. It probably has. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to decorate my room. What's back here? Yeah. No, bowling pins. It's masculine. Where actually that's... Oh, no.

They're painted bowling pins. That's true. That's like reclaiming art. That green chair at the corner. The green chair looks very femme. All right, fine. We'll all get a new bookshelf. Half the books are pink and orange all right well sorry it upsets everyone better books i'm angry it's girly i don't like it either oh i i like it too much i think i'm a crossdresser

man i am interested looking at this like list of top actors there is no fucking way that Warwick Davis is seven there's just no no it was listed as dubious on the thing what have you been in little man was he let's look oh that's oh his wikipedia page isn't super helpful no it's not oh he's it even says he's like uh my hips are dislocated very painful knees oh that that's got to be super rough not only are like you short but your body just like falls apart being a dwarf such a such a difficult life to lead. Think about that. Wait, who are we talking about?

Is Warwick Davis? Warwick Davis, yeah. He's a – do you know in Harry Potter, that little guy that teaches one of the classes? Oh, Professor Flitch or something like that. Yeah. Flitch? Something like that. He teaches – he was the one that was teaching it.

Yeah. He teaches ghouls Flitwick or something like that Can you show that picture hotload? Yeah I remember the character now I remember him teaching Ron Wingardium Leviosa The levitation spell

Is that it? I thought the guy who died who always Talked like this Was the one who taught him like the death spell i also is that not oh oh um the one with the black hair who spoke slowly oh oh you're talking about professor snape yes yeah he was when i liked him he and then the guy who lives in the woods doing his own thing haggard those were the two top characters yeah um harry wasn't yeah radcliffe was great yeah he's a great actor like i was like have you noticed that like elijah wood and daniel radcliffe

both starred in enormous fantasy series and around the same time the biggest blockbusters like almost yeah of that decade and now if you want to find fucking uh elijah wood or daniel radcliffe you have to watch the most weird out there indie movies and it's great why like it's cool that they're like i'm just doing this now like i'm doing whatever the fuck i want i got lord of the rings money i got harry potter money yeah does this script seem cool no then i'm not doing it what this one it's gonna have a six hundred thousand dollar budget okay this seems dope though i'm not doing it what this one it's gonna have a 600 000 budget okay this seems dope though i'm doing it yeah i think that that's intentional i think that those guys um they're like they're actual actors like they're not like like some people aren't like real actors they're

just kind of like celebrities and but then there's actors and i think both of those guys are actors and uh they have plenty of money they're they're like set yeah and uh and they really want to like work on the like weird projects that speak to them and uh well almost none of them appeal to me so i don't watch them uh i do appreciate it that one guy um you gotta play snape is alan rickman one of my favorite actors ever like he's the bad guy die hard and like he elevates die hard above like a dumb popcorn action movie like and and makes it like i don't, one of the best action movies ever. It's great. Warwick Davis has been in all eight Harry Potter movies

and they almost average a billion dollars. He's been in four Star Wars movies. It's not like he's carrying any of those films, but that's why his numbers are so high. Who does he play? Yoda? Yoda's all CGI, man.? Yoda? I don't know. Yoda's all CGI, man. Oh, yeah. Woodbin. I don't know who Woodbin is. The original Yoda was a... No, that wasn't a guy. That was a puppet, right?

That was a puppet, yeah. He played Wicket, Woodbin. Is he a different person in every fucking Star Wars? Anytime they got a little critter that they need a guy in a suit for, I think. Oh, he was the Ewok, right? No, I'm serious. They did use a little little i'm looking at the

role he played wicked weasel boom played wolven and uh wald he has a different character every star wars i didn't i don't know who these people are i don't recognize the ewok and yeah i don't know the other two and And he was also in the Han Solo movie. Good for him, man. Little guy. Rich as can be. I bet he wants to just end it all on a daily basis. No. I bet he's got a super comfortable life.

Other than health problems associated with it. And getting into chairs and stuff. Dude, you can afford little chairs. You keep putting it all like money is the only... Dude, money doesn't fix his problems. One of us has to be glass half full here. You know?

Don't get me wrong. I'd hang myself with a really long rope. You hang yourself off the refrigerator door. Yeah. Go full David Carradine with it. Just tie it to the doorknob and just You hang yourself off like the refrigerator door. Yeah. Yeah. Go full David Carradine with it.

Just, just tie it to the doorknob and just. Poor guy, David Carradine. Now the only thing he'll ever be remembered for is the auto erotic asphyxiation thing. Yeah. Also, I watch red letter media,

RLM, one of my favorite YouTube channels. God, I would love to go on their show someday. They did a thing recently where they were making fun of this... I think it's called Wheel of the Worst. It's one of those things where they shit on the

worst movies ever made. They watch them and then they review them and they show lots of clips from them. It's not always movies. Sometimes it's just videos. The thing they shit on recently was this promo like infomercial that david carradine is in right before he died or like right before kill bill like right around that time so it looks like kill bill david carradine and uh it looks like the the product looks like you took a piece of garden hose about yay long

that's got a little bend in it and then you just like do this with it as an exercise. You just like flip it around. And like, even in like the, the promo, like David Carradine, like drop it every now and then. And he just goes,

what do you want me to do? It's stupid. And he's just like, but they're like, they're like, yeah, yeah. You're just free to,

I used to do, I used to do weights and I used to do, you used to do cardio and stuff, but it's so rigid. It really locks you into like one movement, one position, whereas this piece of nonsense, oh, I can just flow. I can flow. How is this a workout? He's just kind of going like this with it like he's conducting or casting a spell. It's not a workout. It's it would be why would you why would you work out if you're like 85 years old plus this is the workout for you right it's probably mobile good for joint mobilization like getting a little blood pumping but not not like giving you a heart attack like those guys can't

jog like he's just he's just getting, he's just staying active. He's moving around, getting you moving. He's doing the workout in his backyard in jeans. Yeah. Do you notice the dog walks away at one point out of shame? They just can't like,

but who was selling this piece of shit? And they're like, David, that's kind of like, they did a deep dive on this and like, technically no one was selling it so they they they their guess their best guess about the genesis of that whole video is that it's some sort of money laundering scheme where they're like yeah we spent half a million dollars on this

promotional video and the product just sank so you, that's where all the money went. Wait, you spent half a million dollars on this? Yes, we did. Because like they never, you know how like promos are. It's the shake way, the shake way, the shake way, the shake way. Like brand recognition is so, it's important you have,

Tybo, Tybo, Tybo, Tybo. Like they're hammering the name of the product home every second. They never mentioned the name of this product in the whole of the video, which leads me to believe they never built a product. This was never on the air. This is more like the video that you get with the product to teach you to use it. It's just nonsense. But yeah, poor David Carradine, best known, probably for younger audiences, like people

listening as Bill from Kill Bill but for me I grew up watching Kung Fu so it was like I loved Kung Fu yeah I'm like I'm like what's his name from Office Space or when Jennifer Aniston's like I love Kung Fu I when I remember the first time I watched I was like me too like maybe me and jennifer anston get along because like i really did love kung fu as a kid i watched kung fu the legend continues like later on um i was into that shit but uh but poor david caradine he had he's often on best of the worst because in his later career like like like mid of his career like like maybe like 80s and 90s. He was an alcoholic,

like a severe alcoholic, and he drank on set. So you can tell he's visibly drunk in the movies and he's slurring his words sometimes. He's in these like low budget movies and it's obvious. He's like, I don't know. I don't know where we're going to go. Like he's drunk.

He's drunk in the movie and he's not supposed to be drunk in the movie. You know what I mean? He's driving. He's drunk in the movie. And he's not supposed to be drunk in the movie. You know what I mean? He's driving. He's driving in the movie. And he's drunk. Where do you want to go? Can we talk about the McAfee suicide note? Hotload suggested it, and I'm finding it interesting.

Alright, so Hotload, can you scroll down and show this to people? The picture of the suicide note. It hasn't been officially transcribed and I find it really difficult to read, but I will do my best. I'm waiting for him to show it. Yeah. I haven't heard about a suicide note at all from him. So they found this suicide note in his pocket and his wife says it's not real, yeah this is the note you can see why it's so hard to read it seems to say something close to i am a phantom parasite in the present moment i

used it to attain my own ends instead of fully living it i want to control my future which does not exist throughout knowledge which mere ashes of memory i've read it a couple times that's the best i can do yeah that's that's about as what i was guessing so was she saying like that's not his handwriting she says it looks like someone who was trying to imitate his handwriting and that her last conversation with him included i'll call you you tonight. She thinks that this suicide note is part of the cover up, even though it does resemble his handwriting. If I'm following that right. Just so you guys know, my suicide note, you'll be able to tell. The writing will be very feminine.

And I'll put the same clue at the end that Houdini left for his wife when he died so we have at least two guests who've killed themselves so far at least two i was thinking allegedly with john mcafee we don't know there's no way to know and two that are dead yeah yeah i was i've seen that today when um because i spoke to that guy who like owned the whole chain of motorcycle stores. And at one point he was like, what, on some kind of a show, you like, you said something about this. And in my head, I was like, yeah, we do this. If he asked me what it was about, I was like, you know, we have guests on like, you know, John McAfee before he killed himself and Nate from 60 Days In before he killed himself and uh nate from 60 days in before he killed himself and boogie before he like had that aggravated assault charge with a handgun and and like go down the line of like all of our awful things they've done after this and and chris hansen before he got into all that legal trouble yeah yeah he's on my he's on my on my watch list let's see he's not not just who died

of cancer that was on this show? Oh, shit. Total Biscuit. I felt disrespectful almost saying it like that, but he's dead. That's three. I have this thing with guests that we've had where I don't remember them after the episode is over. After 11 p.m.? I don't know who Total Biscuit is. Total Biscuit was a YouTuber. He he did game reviews he was really popular and i remember um i remember the day he came on the show

this was cool to me he was like to say tail between his legs puts it in into a negative a light but the internet hated him that day i forget he said something that they didn't like and uh it was like hey guys like like we were gonna hate him too and it's like oh no no we don't give a fuck that the world is mad at you that's not our concern welcome to the show we like you just fine and i thought it was a good show but yeah he was in some sort of internet hot water the night he came on and uh we didn't care but um but yeah he i think he had brain cancer i'm not positive about it being brain cancer but i think so and is that a bad one to have oh yeah yeah not one of the good ones liver cancer you don't hear you don't hear i just want to do is wake hear... You never hear about liver cancer

very much, or maybe I'm just wrong. Stomach cancer is the worst to have, in my opinion. If I had to pick a cancer, stomach cancer would be on the bottom of the list. Pancreatic? I knew a guy who had stomach cancer. He came into the dealership once and he was buying a car and he had to take occasional

breaks to deal with the pain. Jesus Christ. I don't want anything that messes with my bowels. The stomach might, but I don't know. If I have to get a colostomy bag as part of the process, that has a big impact on my happiness. Can you strap it to the back of the bike? It'd be good.

Oh, no. Just leave the hose. Oh, my trip. Nobody tailgating. I was following an RV, and I'm like, I'm getting wet. I'm getting – what liquid is coming out of a fucking RV down the highway? You asshole. You asshole.

You are draining your RV. And it was probably the gray water. People don't know anything about RVs. They have gray water and what they call dark water or black water. The black water is the poop. The gray water might be like your dishwater or something like from the sink, from the bottom of your shower. But whatever.

I'm on a motorcycle and he's dumping some sort of old stuff. Yeah, you don't want that. That's super gross. Yeah, you don't want that. That's super gross. Yeah, it was pretty gross. I choose to believe it was his dishwater. Yeah, let's hope so. Or maybe condensation from an air conditioning unit. Let's just pretend it's that. Yeah, we're gonna dream.

We're gonna dream that his air conditioning had so much condensation that it got me wet following him at 80 miles an hour. That's so gross. Yeah. Anyway, we were on guests. I'm trying to think of who's the list of people that have died. There's Total Biscuit.

Nate from 60 Days In. Nate from 60 Days In. Obviously, John McAfee, who we just talked about. Is there anyone else who died? Hopefully not. There's a couple that aren't along this world. Yeah. I know who you're thinking of.

I don't want to say it out loud. Who are you thinking of? Who are you thinking of, Kyle? You know. There's a couple that are coming up. People that live unhealthy lifestyles, you know? Sure, sure. Him and another one

too. That's not the one you're thinking of? We don't have the same one? Did you guys see the Blade video? Oh, God. It's got to be if you're thinking of, right? I thought he was... You weren't even thinking of Blade. I didn't see the Blade video. How is he doing now?

I assume he's turned it around. He was sober when he was on the show. Yeah, no. We talked about the video last week, remember? Didn't see the Blade video. How's he doing now? I assume he's turned it around. He was sober when he was on the show. Yeah. No. We talked about the video last week, remember? Like the one where he's dropping the N-bombs and telling his chick to go get him some Kit Kats because they're scrumdiddly umpsies. He looks like he's got a stroke. We talked. I couldn't

watch it though. Was I producing the show or something? There was like this don't play it thing. You were going to play it for your microphone and he's dropping the N-b thing. You were going to play it for your microphone. And he's dropping it in. He's calling his girlfriend the N-word. And I'm not talking about Renegar. He's calling her the real N-word. The real one.

The bad one. And she's just like, don't call me that. He's like, you do it, you N-word. You go get me some Kit Kats because they're scrum diddly umptious. And don't you take my fucking cadillac it's similar lowey and fingered his girl this week well i didn't see any any video of a an alleged fingering or a blowy but i did see them both using the n-word a lot again seemingly they just it's a pastime of theirs and then like and then she was like like being like

you want me to blow you they're both just absolutely he is just beyond gone and like she clearly she like goes down below the camera where i could see on the little clip and she's like trying to suck his dick and he's sitting there like not with it at all and she's like you gotta you gotta spread your legs you gotta spread your legs so I can suck your dick. And then she's... No, you don't. I guess it wasn't going to get hard for her. You're sitting on your dick again. And so, yeah, that's...

I started to second guess myself. It's like, no, I know how to receive a blowjob. Yeah, that's the thing about where your penis is. Your legs can be together. They can be apart. It's incredibly personal. We talk about how rough where your penis is. Your legs can be together. They can be apart. It's incredibly personal. We talk about how rough Blade's life is.

Not as rough as the lady who's sucking Blade's dick on her life. There's levels. You ever hear there's levels of this shit. There's levels of this shit. That's what I heard the first video describe where he was calling her a n-word I thought I wonder if she's falling

out of love and then as I hear the second video described aren't they just the greatest couple that's a fat name they share yeah that's what I really come here little n you aunt jemima looking whore everyone around him is like yeah we're we're at

walmart i'd be okay at walmart dude he like uh it's like sad to watch like he's like he's dying and it's like only accelerating yeah but he's dying very slowly i i would it's got to be quick by now i would imagine he's only he's he's a year older than you yeah one year yeah and like you if you were in his health situation you wouldn't be like ah deteriorating the alarm bells fucking ringing. Yeah, yeah. But still, he's got another good 25 years. We're so tough. The human body is so resilient. You see these people all the time who have spent decades

abusing drugs and alcohol and living the worst kinds of lifestyles. Get rid of that. Oh, no. Don't do that. Oh, no. And they tough it out the human body's so goddamn resilient like you can just take it you just take it it's good it has so many systems that are meant to process poison that's what your liver and kidneys what you're saying is if he were to stop switch to chicken and broccoli he'd be fine if he were to stop and get on a healthy diet and drop the alcohol and walk,

you know, 10,000 steps a day for a year, he would look like a completely different human being. Now that's true. But like, if he doesn't stop the abuse, like I feel like a lot of these progressive diseases, like it'll be kind of slow down for a while. And then there's a precipice of like, yeah, your liver's dead. Well, I don't think

he has a disease like he doesn't yet have any disease particular other than alcoholism if you can't with that but that's where the um when he was rotting with that toe thing and the doctor was like you're gonna lose you i can just take it now the doctor said gangrene okay i was like you're on the edge of a permanent thing. If they take your toe off, they won't ever put it back on. That's it. If you lose your foot, it's gone for good. So much of what

he has is just like... Only used to blade legs. We've made that joke before. Fuck! Well, that's why it seemed familiar. I'm not damned. So much of what he has is just to stop doing it away from disappearing. You know, like obesity or something. Like, yeah, just fix your diet. And then that actually disappears.

And it's like you weren't used to be fat anymore. But he's on the edge of something permanent, I guess. Yeah, I would imagine so. Like, maybe would imagine so. Maybe Kyle's right. You never know what extent the damage is. But when you see someone where their arms, there's no musculature there, and yet the tub in the front is so distended. It's literally what – this is a deep cut, but in ONA,

it's exactly what Lady Di looked like before she lost her mind and forgot who she was with wet yeah yeah you know it's it affects different people differently as well some people just have a genetic uh predisposition to um to the point where like they can just take it like like ozzy osbourne they've they've tested his uh genome or whatever and they found that like, holy shit, this guy's actually genetically resistant to like the damage caused by like narcotics and alcohol abuse. I mean, he's still fucked up, but he should be dead is the whole thing. And some people are on the opposite of the spectrum. Like my grandfather died at 35 years old of cirrhosis of the liver. How much was he drinking?

Do you know? Well, see, he was a bootlegger, so he made his own alcohol. 35 years old of cirrhosis of the liver. How much was he drinking? Do you know? My dad? Well, see, he, he was a bootlegger, so he made his own alcohol. And,

uh, uh, I, I'm pretty sure that they used to filter that, um, not filter it, but, um,

distill it, distill it using old radiators, which had lead in them. And so like that probably contributed to it to some extent. Um, that is young as can be for cirrhosis. So that must be my age. My grandfather died at my age, uh, for cirrhosis so that must be my age my grandfather died at my age uh of cirrhosis of the liver which meant he must have had it for some time right it's not like

oh i've got it and i'm dead yeah and it's not like one day he was like and he keeled over it was like it must have been like at least a couple years leading up of every time he drank or did drug right maybe not drugs he just was in like agony and just forged ahead i guess you know i don't i don't know a ton about like how he died and like the like final days i mean he's a piece of shit so nobody gives a fuck was he a true asshole yeah abusive alcoholic um philanderer yeah so just did he is uh i'm assuming it's your dad's dad but that's dad that although mom's dad was just as bad did you did it turn your dad off of that behavior where he was just like no i will never be like it um no he um he'll drink uh like socially um but uh i think it made him a much better parent um my my dad's always been very loving.

We don't part ways without telling each other we love each other. You don't hang up the phone without telling each other you love each other. We've always hugged and been super close. If we have some big fight or something, we'll sort it out in a day or real quickly

no matter what. I think it made him a better parent to like have had it. I think sometimes it goes the opposite way. You know, people who are abused sometimes end up being abusers for sure. But in my dad's situation, he had this just piece of shit, abusive, alcoholic father. And he was just like, that ain't going to be me. That's not going to be me. I'm going to be the best dad I can be. And he really was. I love my dad a ton. He's just a great, great father. He always has been.

See, he took the one generation. He broke the cycle there. Like, I don't, you probably don't know. What was your grandpa's dad? Like probably abusive. Your great grandpa. Not even know anything about them. Yeah.

Isn't that weird that like for most people, once you're past grandparent, it's like you never existed. It's like, you're not in the photo. If you are in the photo, like when I go to my grandparents' house, there'll be pictures of my grandparents' grandparents with those fucking daguerreotypes. They used silver eyes. It's like them just standing by wagons in rural 1899 or something. And it's like, I always just like like every one of those people had a life

and like they don't even know all the down stands of everything they're doing and how it's going to create families and go and like you really it just echoes throughout history and you just don't you don't think about it you know and like what did they do that impacted their kid which impacted my grandpa which impacted my you know it i don't know maybe maybe people don't think about that no i think about that for sure i wish i knew more about like obviously i've done like the ancestry.com thing that shows like my genetic stuff and and where my people came from in the globe but i don't know anything about the personalities or their lifestyles or their uh their their their you know was this guy a cowboy or like you know was he a blacksmith or was he the town drunk? Was he an outlaw

or was he a hardworking guy or was he the town mayor? You don't know. And I wish I did. It'll be way different in 60 years when it'll be like, I wonder what my grandpa was like.

Let me pull up his podcast. Yeah. It'll be like... like oh he was awful terrible these these are real in 2070 these are very offensive jokes grandpa was a racist who would have known burn his pictures burn his pictures burn his pictures delete him from history yeah that's scary anyway before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Lucy.

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Buy yourself some Lucy and some Smart Mouth. Makes us look good. And you'll have great breath and some very tasty gum. So there you go. Check them out. All right. I got to stop looking at this actor's list. I just... Distracting you? Distracting i just distracting me sorry go ahead what were you saying i'm readjusting to normal life back home

everything seems so trivial i don't know like i had spent a month where every day i woke up and i was like hundreds of miles and eight hours behind schedule. Like that's how my morning started. I have to pack everything I have, get it on the motorcycle, which was a kind of a task. And then, you know, there's a mission that day of like hundreds of miles off road to get somewhere else, to get to a place to sleep and solve it. And we're just like driving through heaven you know tops of mountains passes etc or sometimes hell and and even that is is a different kind of fun all right i'll stop i don't want to get sucked into this i still don't know the different types of fun i I'm not going to go on Woody last night on my stream.

Some guy kept trying to explain type three fun and other people join in. And I was like, the next person to explain type three fun is going to be timed out for 60,000 seconds. Sorry, buddy. I haven't been like tying into what the community is. I think they're hating on me,

but I think it's fun that they are anyway. So, um, uh, and like today was a fine day, right? I woke up, I had breakfast.

I hung out with Jackie. Then I worked on my motorcycle. I replaced my front tire. I'm not very good at it. I'm inexperienced. So it took a long time. And, um,

then I hit the gym, watched Walking Dead with Colin. It's a good day, right? This is like a woody day. But like, I don't know. There weren't any like physical risks. There weren't any big challenges. There weren't any like new experiences, like no lifelong memories, i guess uh i don't know i'm like hungering for it again i'm already like well maybe by september the family will have recharged to some extent

because if it's not like september then you know now we're we're getting cold and you would only do like two weeks maybe this time. That was the thought. I found a nine-day trip. And I'm like, all right, a day on either side, maybe two days to get home. Because it starts close and maybe two days to get home. And I'm like, all right, so that's 12 days. They can go 12 days without me, right?

Because, like I said, if it's not September, then we're talking about April. I think I'm going to enjoy riding as it cools off more. Everybody's like, oh yeah, it's summertime. It's time to ride. In my head, it's like I always have preferred the cold more because you can always put more on, but

there's a point where you can't take more off without going to jail. Especially on a bike, right? Because there's a minimum requirement for gear that take more off without going to jail and especially on a bike. Right. Because there's a minimum requirement for gear that I have. Like, like I'm never going to wear less gear than I currently own. I may wear more gear than what I have, but I'll never wear less gear than I currently have.

And right now, I mean, it wasn't smoking hot yesterday. It was probably 80 or something like that. It was hot. It was hot. And I didn't ride far. I was dripping.

When I move, I'm pretty comfortable. Like even in, in a lot of gear, but, uh, you know, just the length of a red light you're smoking in there.

I saw an accessory today. It, um, it goes on your wrist and it's like a vent that keeps your sleeve open and like sucks the air in and like poofs you up. Oh, that's nice. Are you going to get it?

No, because it looks like, I don't know, like, like in firearms and paintball and airsoft, like things that I'm like competent at. There are certain pieces of gear that when you see someone having them, it's like,

that guy doesn't know what he's doing. And I feel like maybe like wrist cuff vents for a, for a biker are one of those pieces of gear. I don't know. Maybe not. Nobody's even going to notice, though. Maybe not. Maybe not. And they'll have plenty else to make fun of as I'm like fucking wild.

One of my jackets, it unzips like here. Like there's one on each side of your chest. Oh, yeah. It's going to act as your nipples. And it does that. The wind comes in and the whole thing inflates kind of. You kind of have to adjust your body position to make it happen, but you can. And then suddenly you're wearing like – I've never worn one of those inflatable dinosaur suits,

but it's how I imagine that to be. Just put it puffed out all around you. I have worn one of those. They're fun. You got a little electric fan in there, a little battery-powered deal to keep you poofed up. I don't know. It was just so goddamn hot. I'm actually

looking forward to the fall and riding then, and especially when we go to Colorado. I'm almost positive. I am positive. I'm not riding that bike to Colorado but when I because like even if I was like incredibly

competent I just feel like that's a long fucking way I think the top speed on your bike is 135 miles an hour it should rival the plane well the plane goes 400 so not quite but you gotta like you know go through security yeah and the plane goes 400, so not quite. But you got to go through security. Yeah, and the plane doesn't – it just flies in a straight fucking line.

But when we get to Colorado, we've already researched a bit, and you can rent motorcycles. They're not cheap. But I saw a bike that I actually have a lot of interest in, which is the Ducati Scrambler, maybe 790 or 800, something like that. It's like a – Not sure. Anyway, it's got that cool double exhaust that's coming right under your leg. It looks nice. The only reason that I wasn't more drawn to it is I don't care for the seat.

It's kind of a cafe racer-looking deal, like that flat, long thing. And I just don't like the profile of that. I don't like how it looks. Maybe it's like the most comfortable way to sit. I don't know. But I'm going to rent one of those. They're $80 a day. There's one called maybe the desert sled.

Like it's a variation. Okay. The styling on that one appeals to me the most of the scramblers. Me too. But I like the BMW. Is it nine RT? Is that, do I have that right? It's something right it's something close to that i'll get you a link i got it yeah yeah oh the motard love the look hate the name

it's got those gold those forks like my bike does. There's like bronze goldish forks. No, that's a, that's a nice bike. That's a really nice bike. Yeah. I saw like, um,

I guess online I saw it and thought it was okay. And then I saw one in person and, oh man, it really appealed to me a lot in person. I was like, this is an amazing looking bike. And the cylinders go out sideways. I don't know. I think they call it a boxer. I, I, they is an amazing looking bike. And the cylinders go out sideways.

I don't know. I think they call it a boxer. They definitely call it a boxer. I think that's what they mean when the two cylinders are literally like horizontal and they stick out to the sides. And, of course, it's a chick bike. God damn it. If I could just like a fucking masculine thing one time. You like masculine? Hang on.

I was enjoying that picture. That was a hot ass chick on the bike. She was fucking the bike. That was an underappreciated line. Yeah. That's a really... Yeah, she looks like she belongs on that bike.

That bike is built for her. Zach using the cursor to go around her ass. To make sure we can see. This is the part right here where it fits. This is what Kyle's talking about. You can't tell in this picture, but the seat has a spike in the middle.

Oh, God. She's never coming off. Just got a dildo right there. Like the Ass Blaster 4000 that Matt had on. As an exercise bike. But yeah, anyway, that bike i like a lot i started to like every bike i keep saying this but i i see a bike and i'm like oh this is what i would do with that bike this is how i'd have fun with this one it can be a dirt bike a track bike a gold wing look

up that ducati monster i think it's an 800 that appealed to me so much. That looks so cool. Is that the really expensive one? I found a used one for $8,000 from a private seller, but then Woody mentioned reliability and that turned me off. It's also probably not the bike for me. It's too much bike. It's not a good fit for me

at all. It just looks cool. Maybe second bike Kyle goes to that one. Maybe kyle enjoys the ducati monster the second bike is almost certainly the ftr like like okay i get competent on this bike to the point where i'm just like not afraid at all going go you know maxing this bike out through curves laying it over like like just taking like little turns and interstate and uh interstate highway fucking you do the one with the white background zach sorry kyle if i if i get to that point then it's like this is the one because i'm gonna want more power i'm gonna want like i'm

gonna be fine spending the that bike's probably close to twenty thousand dollars out the door for the good one um it's about yeah i'm glad you didn't drop that one in your first 10 minutes. No, right? I thought about that. I was like, glad we didn't drop a $20,000 bike. I mean, we did drop a $10,000 bike, but glad we didn't drop a $20,000

bike. That bike is just so sexy to me. Everything about it, I dig. If I get a second bike, it's probably that one. Although there is the possibility that I find a good deal on a really cheap bike. If I found somebody in the

Discord last night just had bought a Honda for like, they traded an $800 go-kart for it. It's kind of down and out bike, but it's like, shit, for $500, which is probably what it would have been cash. Like I would absolutely buy that bike right now just to like throw in the garage with

the other one and like ride this one one day and ride that one one day. Just a different kind of experience. So it wouldn't sit on you to have like $20 a month insurance. I guess it shouldn't. It's not that much. No, no, I wouldn't mind that. And like, I don't even maybe get a discount for the second one. Progressive's cool. They've always got sort of a, no,'t mind that. Maybe get a discount for the second one. Progressive's cool.

They've always got some sort of a... Who do you have your insurance through? I'm not saying it would matter, but I'm just curious. I think it's through USAA. Now, USAA, when I go to them, they're like, oh, we don't insure bikes anymore. We kick it to Progressive. I think it might be through Progressive,

but somehow i feel like i'm through usaa it's a little complicated i have progressive or something i progressive yeah progressive is great um i called my um my uh my insurance agent last week and she's like super sweet i'm like hey uh i'm thinking about doing something stupid she's like all giggly she's like what are you thinking about doing you're not getting a motorcycle She's like all giggly. She's like, what are you thinking about doing? By getting a motorcycle. Oh, you. You're that friendly with your insurance agent?

I have the same experience. I do the same. I'm like, I bought a motorcycle and they're like, oh, did you? I'm like, I know, but here we are. Drop this VIN, add this one. Then I called her back yesterday and I'm like, Hey Daphne, remember that stupid thing I was talking about? I did it.

I crashed it. Do not tell Daphne at progressive. I was talking to her and she's like, Oh, you got a new bike. And I was like, well, you know, my friend was getting one and rules are rules. And she's like, oh, you got a new bike. And I was like, well, you know, my friend was getting one and rules are rules. And she's like, I get it. You know, like I like the nonjudgmental thing. A lot of people ask me why I got my new bike.

Like I was supposed to justify why it was smart. And it's like, ah, that's not a thing with motorcycles. No, no, this is not a tool. This is a toy. Like there's no way, like almost everything, every other purchase that you and I make, whether it's small or large, this thing is perfect. You know, like justified somehow. And you sort of like you justify things to yourself and to others.

But like the way that I do it, it's like, you know, I could use this for this. I could use it for that. Hey, I've got a friend who might even need this someday. And I'll be the guy to like loan it to him. I like having things that people can use if they need them. Whenever I buy something like that. This has no utilitarian use. This has no, I suppose I could say that like if there were some sort of like an apocalypse scenario and I needed to get out of Atlanta, zip right out with this motorcycle. I could split lanes. I'd be hitting cars as I went, but who cares? I'd be like, bing, bing, bing, bing. I'd take every rear view mirror off between

here and Buford. They'd all be gone, but fuck it. Oh, yeah, side view. If I'm taking rear view mirrors off, I'm going right down the middle. Yeah, yeah. I bought a functional trainer for the gym, right? It was kind of a good one. I can't justify the price, but I like it. So what the hell? Now we have like four people coming over. I like to work out alone. That's my thing. Jackie never works out alone. She has like friends and stuff. It's a half public gym at some point. And I like it. I don't mind at all.

And I like that Jackie's been working out for a couple of months now. Nice. I like that she's not alone. It's her preference. So, yeah, justified. That's where I was at. I prefer alone as well. I feel like I do whatever I want.

And it's on my own time my own pace i mean i'm like when my wife is down there working out with me she's generally on the elliptical or the treadmill so we don't really and i never touch that side the elliptical is lava the elliptical is lava look at the cardio machines they burn um i just need to buck up and start doing the elliptical or the treadmill just like 15 minutes after a workout but by the time and i'll like i'll go into gains i don't care i i've got so many gains down here to get rid of kitchen you know it's kitchen yeah and oh you split them up you split them up you want some time between don't do them one after the other yeah and see that's the way i always end

up doing it is i'll be like before as i'm like lifting in the first half of the workout i'm like and i'm gonna stick with it and i'm gonna run right after this and by the time i'm done i'm like i'm fucking exhausted i'm absolutely there's no chance i'm running no you're gonna do cardio you do it as soon as you wake up. Don't eat. Do your cardio. Then you're going to be extra hungry. You're going to eat. Start your day great.

You're going to feel good. You're going to feel energized because you got that cardio out of the way. And then at night, you're going to sleep better. Like you get that cardio done like first thing in the morning as soon as you wake up. You piss and then do cardio. That's what I should do then. No, thank you. You shouldn't do, but no.

No, thank you. I probably should do then. No, thank you. Shouldn't do, but no. No, thank you. I probably should do carbs. But to me, any fat I've lost has been mostly about finding food substitutes that don't hurt my lifestyle, if that makes any sense. I don't like protein mix in water. That's not my thing. so i would put it in milk well now i'm at like almond milk and that is an acceptable thing i'm totally fine with that i don't feel like i'm giving much up i used to put sugar in my coffee now i put stevia in there i'm totally fine with that i've been able to cut calories here and there hundreds a day

without really like going to suffer mode. Yeah. Yep. And that's the goal. It is all diet. Like it's, I mean, really here's, here's my plan.

I'll, I'll start cardio as soon as that prosciutto leg is done. I mean, I mean, once you get into the habit of doing it, you just do it. It's not so bad. Oh,

I know it wouldn't be. Cause like I, I'm in the habit of lifting. Like I, it's like almost a foregone conclusion that's like well you you don't want to do this right now if i'm not in the mood you're gonna do it you're gonna go in the basement and you're gonna get it done if you're doing the same like i i feel like i'm watching legolas explain to gimley you know running's no big deal how do i have to be Gimli? Well, genetics.

You got to talk to your dad about that. No, the best one is like now everybody in the stream will be like, hey, you look like an even fatter Phil Margera. It's like, oh, that one hurts because it's close yeah that's i saw your um someone told me last night when we're playing poker they're like taylor's sub goal right now is to come inside of his wife yeah yeah i said uh my i said i'll come

my wife and make a kid if i hit my sub goal what is how far are you from your sub goal oh i'll keep moving it wait what is your sub goal it seems like oh it's only like a thousand right now because i took so much much time off i didn't stream for almost five weeks okay how many subs do you have like 640 and they said it a thousand but i started the stream at like 360 times five incalculable but some dude with a little more than 1500 bucks could make you have a baby he could but i don't think that that's this is a legal contract oh no no you have to stand for this kind of dishonesty inside and have a kid i guess so i watch landmark every day uh i don't play tarkov but i love watching him play tarkov like i watch hours of him every day and uh his he started a sub goal

recently he's already got like 27 000 subs or something like that for him but um his his sub goal is every 2400 subscribers he gets every 2400 that's's a 24 hour stream that will happen. And so what happened was he set the goal and then he hit it and he's like, all right, the 24 hour stream is tomorrow. I'm going to sleep tonight after a 14 hour stream. When I wake up, I'll start streaming again tomorrow at like, he starts around 3 PM or something. And then that's 24 hours. But he's doing the sub goal again during the 24 hour stream. So he hits it again. So every day he's getting like 2 to 3,000 subscribers. So it keeps rolling over.

So he's going to be doing every other day 24 hour streams until he gives up. Sustainable. For him though, he has 419 hours a month before. Dude, I have a lot of hours watching him. There's a command I forget, like watch time or something.

They'll be like, Woody, you've watched this man for two months. And after I do it, I just start getting fucking alpha'd in his stream. Like, I have four months of watch time. I have six months of watch time. And it's not when I started. This is how many hours I have watching him, man. And other people like it is outrageous i love it i love his streams he's so fucking good at the game you know the shit

just wiped and he was going he was running full meta gear and had like tons of money four days in they made it harder i mean you're watching so much harder yeah for people that don't know i used to be able to hit like you know flea market anyway i'd hit it the first day every wipe and um and i'd hit meta gear like i don't know 10 days in or something they made it way harder and he's still doing it first day it's yeah he's so fucking good he just destroys people the only time he has a hard time is when he runs into cheaters and uh and um other other than that he's just almost always just shitting on anyone and everyone it's so fun to watch who else is on the stream i watch pestily stream and i'm like i'm confused there's two cameras going on here what's happening and i start asking for help and they're like oh

no this is just an old stream. Pestley's sleeping. That's him on the bed. This is a good job if you can get it. Pestley has been streaming. I don't know the exact number. He's been streaming continuously for

about two weeks. Wait. Continuously. I don't know if this is a hard thing to do but I just popped over to Landmark Stream and he was fucking around on a roof like clearly sound whoring I have it muted and he dropped off the roof

onto someone else's squatting head and then he just aimed down and killed the guy and apparently this is rare because the chat is fucking loving it and there's a Brazilian guy in here you can tell it's all around the world because the Brazilian guy just went, jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaj at them as he falls it's great it's a game where one bullet can kill you and i get baffled by the good players like there was a guy um oh it was pestily i think he got the he killed the new boss

in factory and then or maybe it was deadly it doesn't matter anyway he killed the new boss in factory and then he's like oh he has a cool face mask let's get shot in the face so he pops out there good shot in the chest ah darn it you shot me in the wrong spot heels he's doing this repeatedly and then like he's standing next to the scab getting shot in the face not dying and i'm just baffled by why these people don't pose any risk to him. The new mask is level five. It might be six, but only the front. It actually is. Yeah, I think it might be six. It's really, really good.

From the front. From the front. It doesn't cover the back at all. It's a welder's mask for people. And all those scavs have bullshit ammo. They can't pop through. But I guess you're right. Sometimes the scavs seemed to you know

shotgun me from 200 yards away and i die and meanwhile he's six inches away getting shot and not seeing any risk and yeah the one-shotted just every time i see these streams when you guys bring it up i'll pull one up just the inventory screen alone stresses me out because you get it it looks like there's so much and then he'll scroll down like three pages of options it's like this is this is outrageous like like uh playing a game like cod on a keyboard mouse is really straightforward it's yeah simple playing that game there's so many extra commands you're doing so much much extra that things that aren't options in other games, there's lean, right? You lean left,

lean right around a corner, but there's a couple different kinds of lean. There's a slow ease out lean that's incremental, and then there's a pop lean. Those are different controls. Your walking speed is incremental. You can walk at eight different speeds. The amount you crouch, there's not just upright and crouch.

There's like eight different levels. Like you can like click, click, click, click, click. And those levels impact how fast you go and how loud you are while you're going. There are so many keyboard commands. I have absurd weeks of playtime in this game, and I still ask the chat for help. Chat,

what's the one where you check if you're auto or not, but you do it silently? Is it B? It might be Alt B. Yeah, I think I may have changed mine to just B. I simplified a lot of them, and some of them I just threw out. I only need one lean. I just do pop lean. I put a lot of them and some of them I just threw out. I only need one lean.

I just do pop lean. I put the pop lean on my mouse. Anything that requires control, take it off control because I don't reach control very well. Anything that uses alt, I'm great with. I add T, G, H,

and B to a lot of things because the way I hold my hand is different than everybody else. So it opens up some extra options for me and closes some doors also at the same time. And I use caps lock a lot, but yeah, there's, there's a command for like pulling back the bolt of your gun and checking what kind of ammo you're currently using. Cause sometimes you'll pick up an enemy's weapon and you don't know what he's shooting maybe he's shooting 995 which is like this super penetrating 556 round or maybe he's shooting 855 which might as well be a bb gun against an armored opponent you know you need to know so you like check look in the bottom right of the corner of your screen all right good stuff

you can go it'll uh in cod it's like oh yeah you got 27 bullets left in this magazine in this game it's like about half you got about half play like it doesn't tell you no way to know in real life you couldn't know you could just kind of look at the mag if it's got a window and be like that's about half like you can't count yeah there are ways to display your gun and animations that i don't know like anton gets a cool gun or sees a new gun in the game and he's always doing like animations i didn't know could be done and i i don't know how yeah like the inspect thing i don't remember there's inspect but there's more like anton's fucking clearing the round out of the chamber and catching it in his hand and i'm like

i don't remember that command how do you do? I don't know how you do that. I used to know that command. I don't anymore. Yeah, there's lots of shit like that. It's a crazy, crazy in-depth game that requires firearms knowledge and a lot of other stuff. I mean, just building a weapon is difficult

unless you do it on your own, figuring out what the meta is. It's been an interesting wipe, though. I'm enjoying watching it. I like all the changes they made except for the weapon malfunction. That's been an interesting wipe though i'm enjoying watching it i i i like all the changes they made except for the weapon malfunction that's just another one of those things that's like i'm like do i want to play tarkov no i know i'm gonna get a weapon jam like like i i'm finally gonna get behind some armored up guy and like he's got a lot of loot

i'm gonna go to like pop him and i'm gonna to weapon jam and he's going to turn around and destroy me. Like weapon jams are so dumb. I was watching Pastilli in a gunfight. His weapon jams. He runs in some evading way, clears the jam, re-engages and wins. And I'm like, why are gunfights not dangerous to him? Gunfights are incredibly dangerous to everybody else. But to him, it's like, oh, I just have to manage this, and it baffles me.

The new mutant rifle looks really fun. It looks like it just makes pretty much every AK obsolete. That's a neat addition to the game. I've heard it's the meta. I haven't played this wipe. I couldn't say. M4 and mutants. Yeah. Okay. HK's going out. HK's ergo

is fucked, but M4 still has that velocity and rate of fire, but the mutant shooting those BP rounds Yeah. Okay. HK's going out. HK's ergo's fucked. But M4 still has that velocity and rate of fire. But the mutant shooting those BP rounds is just good all around. Like really good ergo. Really, really good. Really manageable recoil. And the only drawback is obviously the sort of medium rate of fire. But yeah, it's been fun to watch.

And it's always fun to watch Landmark because he just just shits on people and it's fun to watch that because i can't he's just so much better than me i invited pestily on pka but he was sleeping at the time so i don't think it worked oh yeah you're not gonna be able to like this he's on a 50-day subathon yeah that was i think i said in the as i wrote it that like i understand it just wiped right now and and this is the time for a tarkov streamer to work so yeah we'll get him when it's cooled off a bit yeah yeah sometime when he's not making like a thousand dollars an hour and we're asking for him to come on he's got some great facial hair right now yeah he shaved his head grew the beard out he's uh he's giving giving PCs away, raising money for a charity, I think, as well.

And then at the same time, he streams himself sleeping. He is continuously streaming for weeks. I don't want to emulate it. Landmark's giving a Twitter brand to St. Jude at the end of the month, I think. Well, that's cool. I don't want to emulate it, but I admire the work ethic of the Twitch streamer. The YouTube work ethic was big, especially

if you really wanted to back in the day. The Twitch work ethic is really on display. You can tell the hours that someone's working because they're live. To see these guys go 24 hours, to see guys like Land landmark who have earned so much

and they're still grinding like that i don't know i just like it he knows the strike while the iron is hot i don't want to say anything negative landmark likely won't be the biggest guy on twitch seven years from now it'll be somebody else and uh but hopefully he doesn't have to work at all seven years from now. You know, it makes different noises or different effects depending on the amount that's donated. He made a new one for $69.69 the other night where it plays the voice line from the game where someone just goes, Ah! Like a war cry.

And so he just mentioned it the other day. Because a character in the game did the war cry and uh and uh so like he's like he's like he just mentioned it the other day they're like because like a character in the game did the war cry and he's like yeah we actually made that a sub sound or a donation sound for 69 and 69 cents and like five people in a row and like i hear him all the time now like he's constantly getting 70 donations just to like because he'll be like sneaking and it'll be like you can hear like crickets chirping and all of a sudden ahhh fuck it scared the shit out of me

that's all he has to say right like he's smart Landmark if you don't watch his stream you can tell he's a smart guy and you know he might very well be working the crowd when he's like oh that one hurt my soul. Yeah,

I'm sure it did. Landmark. I'm sure you'll lose sleep at night because of that. He knows how to run a stream. He knows how to run a stream. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to watch.

Wish the best for both those guys. They're great dudes. Yes. Yeah. That. How does anyone do well on Twitch? It's not a great dude. Like,

is there a villain that everyone watches? I don't know. I don't really watch any streamers on Twitch. I really only watch Landmark. I watch a little bit of Deadly Slob, like if Landmark's not on. I like him. He reminds me so much of Eric, you know, a Rack Veteran, 8888. And I think they look a lot alike.

He reminds me a lot of him. I like his streams. He seems like a really nice guy. Good old Canadian boy. Were you on the PKA that had Slush Puppy? I like his stream too. Yeah, he was fun to talk to. Yeah. He's Tarkov, right?

Yes, mostly. Yeah, I like Tarkov. he's a he's tarkov right yes mostly so yeah i uh i like tarkov it might be the best game ever in my opinion but it is i i want to get on my high horse and be like video games are bad for you like but they obviously are right like like so if i'm in a moment here where i'm able to like get into whatever fitness or something then i should ride that as long as i can yeah yeah it's it is bad for you um and i think the two best games are also the two games that are worst for you because and they're rust and tarkov in that order for me personally because i got such a love for Rust but they're not they're not healthy games like you have they're also unhealthy in that order yeah yeah

I think so yeah you have to donate so much fucking time to those games um and it's in Rust it's like your whole week is gone like like I wouldn't play with someone who wasn't going to put in at least eight hour days like there's no way I can play with you someone who wasn't going to put in at least eight-hour days. There's no way I can play with you if you're not willing to put in eight-hour days. You've got to be a fucking madman. Maybe we'll put the work in all day, and you'll come in, and now we'll go kill people, and you're just

so good that you're just carrying us all. That's one thing, but that's rare. You've got to put some work in if you're going to play with us, because everybody else is. It's such a grind. It's a monotonous grind too you know you're hitting trees and hitting rocks and getting into bow and arrow fights and some of the patrons that you're closest to those relationships are formed in rust yeah sure yeah um vavity still plays a ton of rust i see him on there uh all the time i guess whenever he's not doing his other things and uh and um yeah there's several guys in there dirty loves rust um he mentioned it the

other night he's like man i've been watching a lot of rust videos kyle i think maybe we need to play some rust i'm like dude you know we shouldn't play rust that's not good for us like you've already got your baccarat uh addiction and your poker addiction. How do you play Baccarat? I don't know like exactly how the scoring works, but it's it seems like it's a little bit like blackjack and that like each, but each player is getting dealt like a total of three cards. And then you're betting on whether the player, the dealer are going to win or whether there's going to be a tie between them. And the card just scored in various ways. I didn't watch enough to like know how the the scoring works like how

the value of each card but i think that's essentially the deal but blackjack there are decisions that you make along the way would you like to hit would you like to stay and you look at what the dealer has and what you have and you try it so it is both chance and skill correct rock appears to be betting on coin flips i believe that that is the case and uh and may and i'm not sure about this but i think maybe why they're drawn so much to baccarat is that you can turn a little money into a lot of money really quickly on a hot streak it's a little bit like roulette in that way i think because i saw them the other night turn like 25 into three thousand dollars like like just because betting on betting for the dealer and the player to tie is like nine to one so like sometimes they'll throw a hundred dollars on that and when it hits there's just like fucking ringing the sales bell fucking horns going

off like everybody's jacked so dirty was playing and dn was like co-making decisions with him but not playing or betting his own money they were just but it was some sort of partnership they made like four hundred dollars in four minutes and just they were so happy they asked me what they're like what do you make good financial decisions should i play blackjack or baccarat like i am what this is i don't know and i was like baccarat because i don't know how to play and it looks more fun to watch and they're like woody that was a great call like i had anything to do with that but yeah it's been madhouse in there i've heard yeah yeah kyle was like um you know the bickering's at an all-time high you guys should check it out it's been madhouse in there i've heard yeah yeah kyle was like um you know the bickering's at

an all-time high you guys should check it out it's fun i'm like let's go hang out with the patrons yes they were um they were having quite a uh a thing last night they were getting a little out of hand a little brouhaha yeah man kyle tells me i misread the situation it seemed like fun arguing when i was there i had to duck out i was watching walking dead with kyle it got worse it got worse like like you know i think when you're there like like it's like daddy's here like like maybe we'll straighten up a little bit um but uh it got a little more ridiculous um later into the night to the point where somebody got kicked from the discord and uh people were calling each other slurs and uh that's new whoa and then like every now and then someone who's a little bit newer to the discord will like have a strong opinion and by a strong opinion i mean

they'll start attacking someone viciously and then like two or three people will be like, who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? I'll slap you with my dick. And I have to like, guys, guys, slow down. Hang on. Be nice. Jesus. Let's all just love each other. Let's all just we've all got so much in common here.

Like these little disagreements, like we can all just kind of, let's, you know, why don't you guys go to a private chat and work this out, and you need to take egos out of play. Shut the fuck up, Kyle, and mind your own business, you bitch. It's only game.

Why you have to be mad? Yeah, that's kind of what I try to inject. I'm like, come on, it's just a game, boys. Like, no need to be mad about this. I don't think you meant what you said to Dave, and Dave, you don't even know Mark's children. So let's be honest. But yeah, you get the rowdy in there. And it's fun.

Some of it is tongue-in-cheek. And then you know how dudes are. It'll start tongue-in-cheek, and then somebody will step a little over the line. So the other guy steps way over the line, and now we're actually mad at each other. And so that happens a good bit. It's fun's it's fun um to get in there in the in those chats like like every night there's a chat with 10 to 20 people in it and they're either like playing poker or like live streaming something they're watching videos together or movies together um they just put in like a car and motorcycle uh tab in there so everybody's

sharing their bikes and their cars and stuff and talking about them. It's fun. It's fun. I really enjoy playing this game. I wish I dialed in more from it. So many nights I had bad internet, but it was like, check out this hotel.

It's from 1834, and I'm walking around with the little laptop webcam and shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. One of the guys is a trucker so he's like he's like live streaming from his fucking truck you know like he's he's driving somewhere in the middle of america like doing his thing that's a good time yeah they're crazy all right quick question boys what you got should two consenting adults be allowed to duel each other without legal consequences absolutely definitely yeah yeah what what kind of like uh old-timey

they don't have pistol sabers it's your choice but they have to use the weapons of the era it has to be like flintlock no the, the deal is if I challenge Taylor, Taylor gets to pick the weapons we use. Okay, our own heads. Yeah. That's why I would never challenge Taylor to a duel. They'd get out of hand. Yeah.

They'd get very quickly out of hand. Yeah, that's a fair thing. Kyle, we're doing a motorcycle collision derby. So you're going to ruin your motorcycles and break your legs. There's no way to win a motorcycle. I was trying to find an area

where I might have a demolition derby with motorcycles. It's just like six dead people. Getting run over. Speed bumps. You mentioned challenging people to duels yeah i don't know like we're going to colorado on this trip there's like at least two fights planned are they real or is it tongue-in-cheek silliness like we're throwing down we're throwing down

are you fighting someone challenged you oh dirty challenges me on a daily basis one i i know i know and they're half taylor show some respect have you ever seen him stand up out of his chair you can see the phone books i i i don't think dirty's like i'll slap the shit out of you kyle and i'm like i've told you plenty of times dirty like whenever you're ready to do it don't even let me know just go ahead and start attacking me. Just ambush me. Whenever in Colorado, go for it. It'll be a great time.

It'll be a great time. I mean, he's already met you in real life and seen that you're a much larger individual than him. Yes. I respect that he's doubling down. I think that he is kidding. He's not a skimpy dumbass. Scum has challenged

Chiz to a boxing match. I may be wrong about this, but I believe Chiz has accepted. Does Scum... Does he do boxing or no? They are frenemies. Oh, it's a little complex. Yeah, it's a little complex.

I think they rub each other the wrong way on a regular basis. And they've known each other for a very long time. But they often, like I said, they rub each other the wrong way. And one of them doesn't like something the else says and vice versa. And I wouldn't be surprised if those two do throw down with the boxing gloves. Chiz is a tall guy. So he's going to have the reach advantage big time. Like 6'4", I think Chiz may have been doing a lot of fitness this year. And Scum, on the other hand, I probably get this wrong,

but I would estimate Scum's height to be a little under 5'10". Like maybe he's 5'9". Maybe he's somewhere in there and in quite good shape. He's got abs. He's really fit. He's super fit. Does he know how to fight or box? Or is this just... It's not like he's golden gloves or anything,

but I think that he's done it a little bit before. There's one guy in there he's like, I'll box any of y'all. Let's go. I'm like, did you box? Oh i'll box any of y'all let's go i'm like did you box oh yeah absolutely plus i'm six five two hundred and ten pounds i want no part of you sir yes yes no thank you and magic have an 80 inch reach so uh you just stay the fuck away from me lurch yeah i will take you in a verbal battle and name dirty is my champion yeah absolutely yeah there's a couple of big boys in there there's um and he's not the biggest of them the dude who's 6'5 like 210 or whatever there's one guy in there i showed you

guys a video of him doing um um dips yeah at like and he's like i don't want to get it wrong but above 6'5 somewhere between 6'5 and like 6'8 and like 300 and something pounds like he's like, I don't want to get it wrong, but above 6'5", somewhere between 6'5", and like 6'8", and like 300 and something pounds. He's just like a tank of a man who played football and doing fucking dips at that weight. You've got to be so goddamn strong. Yeah, well, nobody's going to challenge him. Nobody's going to challenge the actual boxer. Well, maybe the actual boxer will challenge him.

That could be the answer. Oh, those people aren't going on the trip anyway. We've got a little tight-knit group that's coming on the trip. You didn't mention the two that I thought was the hottest rivalry of the moment. Am I not supposed to bring it up? Oh, Deon? Deon and Scum. Yeah, well, Deon's not going on the trip.

Oh, that takes money to go on the trip. Sorry, Deon. I'm just fucking with you. on the trip. Sorry, Dean. I'm just fucking with you. Not very nice. This is the nature of the culture in the Discord. Yeah, everybody's the brutal Woody Thirst of Shade and Kyle's like,

Oh, good gracious. I mean, you're heading close to home. When somebody calls me a faggot. I've got a case of vapors. They'll be like, I'll slap you in the face with my dick. He's not actually going to slap the guy in the face with his dick. But when you bring up that

maybe Deon couldn't afford the trip. He's 20. Sure. 20, 21, something like that. I think I heard he's 20. So he's just getting started in life. Of course he's broke. Fish is 21. Not only is he going on the trip he's handing me an envelope of cash like like he doesn't have a paypal um because you know he's a dreamer and all that stuff um so he's just like yo cat kyle can i can i just give you cash and i'm like yeah i mean i'm gonna

want cash out there because you use cash at dispensaries so like yeah that's fine with me just hand me a fat envelope of cash well Dean when I was 20 I couldn't afford orange juice so don't feel bad oh you guys are on the exact same curve then so wait is is chis and scum is there any money on it i feel like every fight has oh i would like betting money and i'm gonna pay i'm gonna place some bets on that one who would you bet on that i would need to see a recent photo of chiz if he's if he's been fooling us and he's lost a ton of weight or something then that's then that would be lying by omission to not reveal that before the bets replaced with all the shirtless pictures in that thing, you'd think that Chiz would show his new physique

if he had it. It's all you two! It's just you two posting half-nude photos in there every other day. I don't mind. I have them all saved. Well, that's just me and your guy. I'm waiting on you guys to up your... I'm seeing Woody's abs and chest.

I haven't seen a waist-down picture of anyone in the chat yet. That's not true. I show my legs too. I'll send a photo of my dented ass. You're cutting a lot out. I want full frontal. There's no comparisons. I'm glad Taylor gave away that I'm not the only one who's ever sent a picture.

All these stories have been like Woody sending pictures to these poor guys who wish he would stop and not the truth, which is, you know, we all show our strong, our strengths. Oh, I will like the photos from Kyle. I'll look and I'm like,

those pants are barely perched. Like it's, you can see the dick root. Oh yeah. My dick root is my strongest feature. I've never seen such a vascular dick root. I can't. I will send a picture of his bicep with a tape measure wrapped around it.

I did. I hit 18 inches. It's good. It's a good number. And then it's like, what was Arnold at? 23. And then it's like, I can't even imagine five more inches of like. He was on steroids, Taylor. but i'm saying the size of that

guy walking by i'd be like jesus like like just mind-blowing how big i wonder uh brian shaw the strong man was doing his uh forearms his forearms are 18 and a half inches around and his arm is like almost 30 god damn and he's like six eight and just a titan although it's fair it's with arnold you are dealing with a six foot one man with a bodybuilder's fat level right so like none of that is like it's all muscle and skin that's true yeah yeah whereas like arnold only six one i pictured him as taller. He's no taller than 6'2". There's been some like, was he really 6'2"?

Right. The whole Trump thing. I'm the tallest president in history. I mean, everybody agrees that's Lincoln. Isn't that well understood? Wasn't Lincoln like 6'6"? I think Lincoln was a real tall guy, especially for his time, right? People were smaller back he must have he's like a seven footer back then

oh yeah yeah everybody's all malnutrition uh getting malnutrition we even had a short president in like fucking forever once like cameras got big yeah you know like it just you look like the leader when you're, you know, nose and higher sticks above everybody else. You look like the leader when you're a dude, like there's a, you know, central casting aspect and not that all of them hit it exactly like Obama and

Trump certainly don't hit central casting when you think of presidential, but, uh, you know, it, it just helps. It helps. I think one of the reasons Jeb Bush lost is he looked like the dude that got

picked on in high school. Yeah. That guy, dude, those clips of him getting bullied by Trump are so far. What did Trump say? He's like, every single time I get closer to the middle,

I can hardly see you over there now. My God, what are you pulling at? 1%? Ah, like, you know, he's calling him low energy all

the time and like that low energy thing will stick with him for the rest of his life i imagine that his christmas gifts are addressed that way like a pack of nine volt batteries or something like if there's a box and it says too low energy everyone hands it to jeb bush yeah that is funny just such a stupid juvenile insult and it's like everybody but on the nose here yeah it's on the nose though he was low energy he was like yeah mr mr slow mr lackadaisic like sleepy ben carson like a sleepy doctor. Yeah, that one fit too. He looked exhausted all the time. Yeah. At first, his branding seemed amazing, but it got pretty redundant later.

What were some other good... Did he ever say fat Chris Christie? Or no? They were friends. I thought they had a falling out. I would imagine that... Well, eventually, yeah. He was on his transition team and stuff. During the debates, they were kind of on the same side man that if i were marco i little marco's good because like even on the stage it was like he wasn't just short like he he also was slight

you know like he just seems smaller you know who might like is incredibly, what do you think the ugliest politician is that we have right now? A successful one. Yeah. Like, like top of Nancy Pelosi is hard to look at. Yeah. But she's so old. I almost greater in a curve.

Yeah. I want to say like, like Diane Feinstein is older than God and she looks horrific. And so like, that's almost not fair. So like just a genuinely ugly one, I almost lean ted cruz like he's uh he had a moment where he lost a little weight and grew the beard and he just looked a lot better like when he first grew the beard he was crushing that's true yeah yeah it gave him like the jaw definitely the fake jaw

i'm trying to think of an actual ugly politician i'm googling this ugliest politicians in modern history let's see i'd like to be on that list god damn it dude the feature picture of this is sonny bono oh oh my god eleanor roosevelt is awful She's an absolute dog Boris Yeltsin Okay She ran our country Boris Yeltsin, that's a good one

Because he had That weird ass nose And the wines Abraham Lincoln is on this list How dare you Richard Nixon was on this list Now I you it was not a good looking man richard nixon was on this list now i think younger richard nixon wasn't so bad looking he's got that like road rash pock marking though it's it's not a good look does he

and i look i don't know why everybody loves lincoln so much like like lincoln should have could have a better a good president would have negotiated and freed the slaves. He lost nearly 600,000 Americans in the process. Yeah, and that was a really high percentage at the time because we didn't have 150 million people. That's probably what we're at now. Yeah, I mean, it's great that slavery ended. It's wonderful that slavery ended. But did 600,000 people have to die for it?

There are these 550,000 casualties of war. I don't even think that tells the story of people who may have been collateral damage or maybe died because of food shortages or something. They're mostly Southerners though, right? The dead ones? So fuck them.

No, I think the North lost more. No, both sides took egregious losses in the civil war i was i make up my own facts in these arguments it's very close i think maybe the south lost like 300 000 and then or the the north lost like 300 and maybe the south lost a quarter million something like that god damn it it's nobody nobody is making lists of the ugliest politicians i know it's really a struggle. If you click a Google image search on ugly politician,

shit, Newt Gingrich comes up. I don't recognize this chick. Trump comes up a bunch of times. Wow. This guy's good looking. Is he the Canadian dude? Yeah, Trudeau. He's definitely not ugly. He's good looking. If you click on dude? Yeah, Trudeau. He's definitely not ugly.

He's good looking. If you click on the article, they're not calling him ugly. Trump isn't handsome, but he doesn't jump out at me. Like, I'm particularly ugly. He is fat, though. Trump is in his mid-70s, though, or late 70s, maybe. And prime Trump was just definitely not ugly. No, I think he's a handsome man.

I think young Trump is a fairly handsome man. And even more so because of who he is and all he has. The mayor of Chicago looks rough. I remember that one. Because I saw a photo of her and I was like, oh my goodness, she looks ill. Who else? Do attractive politicians... Oh my god!

These are like... They're clickbaiting me into real articles with news in it. I don't want that. Oh, in an ugly special election. Shut the fuck up. I don't care about an ugly special election. Ugly politicians! Exclamation point.

So they know... So Google knows I'm serious about this. This could get... ah, damn it. Who's, yeah, Ted Cruz. He's not that bad, I guess, anymore. It's just, I think, it's weird. Politicians, I think, in general, they're just not outliers. It's hard to think of a really hot one.

And it's hard to think of a super ugly one. It's hard to think of a super ugly one. What do you got? Tulsa Gabbard. She can get it all day, every day and twice on Sundays. Just super hot. I could be wrong. I'm all about that. Her surfer butt that they

always fixate on in the pictures. That fat surfer ass. She's just got a real cute face. She's very intelligent, which is a turn on. Just all about that. I would love to be the first man of Hawaii. If you do a Google image search on Tulsi Gabbard ass, you don't see it. What kind of bullshit is that?

Lori Lightfoot always looks so scared. I'm on my way. You got to bing that booty. You got to get all sorts of stuff. Oh, well, some of these are clearly doctored. She didn't do any porn. No, no, that's real. That's real.

That's out. See, Lori Lightfoot, she always looks just like so surprised. I think the only photo was the one at the top. Close your mouth, Andrea. Oh, is that Lori Lightfoot, that black chick there who always looks like she's homeless? She always looks like someone just gave her the most shocking news of her life. I've seen 70-year-old men with better hairlines than that bitch. Yeah, that hairline is rough.

And the style does not help either because it's only accentuated. She looks like an extra from The Wire. Alright, alright. That is the same style that we have, Taylor. I don't know why you're ripping on her hair. I can just see her being like, on the streets of Baltimore, you gotta be hard.

She looks like she's fucking a street ruffian from The Wire. She looks like she's fucking a street ruffian from the wire. She looks so nasty. Chelsea Gabbard is good looking. Yeah. I was going to push back and be like, she's only good looking in the context of a politician.

But no, if this was a lineup of soccer moms, she'd be near the top. Oh, she's the queen of soccer moms. Although, I don't know. I like those soccer moms that clearly had a little work done. They're like mega Karens. They're blonde with big fake tits and stuff

like that, and they still hit the fucking bike every day. Does Tulsi Gabbard have pockmarks? Husband already replaced her. On her face? I think she does. Yeah, she's just a little bit you know oh the supreme court justice elena kagan

that's that's not great here let's see a thousand years old though not well i don't know let's see oh yeah 61 so that's all that I don't think that's too old. No, I'm with you. And look, I can. Zach, can you show it? Yeah, I'm looking at her picture and I'm saying, no, she was not hot 15 years ago. No, she was never hot. She wasn't hot at 19.

You're going to look like. Like, you're not going to look nearly that old old in 13 years not even in the same ballpark of of aging so but i bet you stress eat a lot when you're on the supreme court is she on yeah she's okay yeah that's something i wonder about like those jobs like being on the supreme court how much work are you really doing is it like every day it's like up at seven i gotta read about the law or is it like when something gets thrown up to us we'll make our decision but other than that you know party in the usa my understanding is that they are um going over a lot of cases all the time

and it's only like the big ones that uh that like get our attention that makes me doing it or do they delegate all that work constantly i think they have to do it because they're the ones they're like the decision makers yeah but they all have like aides or uh associates clerks that's the word and so yeah i can totally see what you just said being reality where it's like oh i'm so swamped i'm gonna hire two extra clerks because i'm a supreme court justice yeah because the clerks would give their fucking left nut to work for me so i'm just gonna i'm gonna do what trump would do which is like all right you take in all this report back to me if it's more than one page fuck you get back at it and there you have it how much do they make oh supreme Supreme Court clerk? No, justice.

An associate justice gets 208, and a chief justice only gets bumped up to 217, which doesn't seem fair. Not much of a raise. No, they should double that up. The chief justice thing is so unfair. If people don't know, you don't become a chief justice by being the best justice.

You don't get promoted to it. If the chief justice is the one that you're replacing, you become chief justice. It's kind of every ninth justice is the chief one, roughly. You just walk out. Apparently they only do 75 cases a year. That's a lot of cases. That's a lot of cases. That's more than one a week.

I could do it in one week. Yeah, I could do it badly. I wouldn't do it well. I could do it badly in a day. 75 a week. Nope. Yes. No. Yes. No. Sir, you just legalized three-month-old abortions. Can we go back?

Well, yeah, that's how this works. Well, the printer's out of ink, so we're forging in someone used all the blue ink again yeah no i i think that 75 a week is a year is a lot you know because they're like major cases that they have to like weigh and they usually have to write a i don't remember what they call the thing they write like their opinion opinion yeah yeah and uh i have no reference for how much 75 is to them it's more than one a week but do they get to all split it and then only come in for like yeah there's a there's a majority

opinion and a minority opinion right they don't all have to write opinions yeah but they all have to like come to a decision and it has to be an informed decision yeah it has to be an informed decision. Does it have to be an informed decision? Because these are lifetime appointments. You had one job, Bill. You had one job. Yeah, I wasn't really paying attention to that. We just sold Illinois. Yeah, we sold Illinois. To Syria.

We gotta bomb Illinois now. This just in, Chicago has been leveled. Turns out it's ran by a madman the court hears moral arguments in cases from october through april so that's six or seven months yeah from october through december arguments are heard during the first two weeks of each month from january through april arguments are heard on the last two weeks of each month huh i wonder if that means that the weeks they're not

hearing arguments they're not doing anything probably not yeah or they might be vacationing or something they might be writing their opinions yeah or their opinions i don't know but i mean there was nothing that could make me bullshit my job more than getting an unassailable lifetime appointment like you're you're just in dude what are they gonna do are they gonna fire you you can be impeached but i don't think it's ever happened yeah do the bare minimum like write an opinion and be like i don't like it that's it i would love it if one of of them was half-assed like that or just like, you know, I'm annoyed that our time was even wasted.

I'm annoyed that our time was even wasted on this subject matter. It sweeps week, okay? ABC has a new show that I've been trying to get into and I missed the first three episodes. This has been almost a month on this nonsense i i get

i don't even have a tivo anymore do people even have those like this is long drawn out minutia you're having to read out loud yeah i don't know it seems like a great gig to have for sure it seems like only the best and brightest get that gig and the and the guys who have the least skeletons in their closet if you you know subtract cavanaugh um i still side with cavanaugh on that thing he sold me um with his with his whole um i remember hearing your thing my dad wrote this calendar with me i thought his dad was dead he's sitting behind him the fuck why are you about calendar not i mean he was crying because of the nonsense that he was going through i i just yeah i i side with him on that one you know and it didn't seem very bolstered at the time he sold me and maybe he's maybe he's just a great liar but he sold me and uh and i believed him uh over her

she she she she was not as good at telling her truth um and he was just so good at telling what may have been a lie that that just he he definitely came out the more believable of the two parties especially when like she just had such a foggy memory of what had even happened yeah there's like nothing falsifiable she didn't know who else was there and she didn't know like that she didn't well when was it i'm not really sure we did these parties like you know on saturday nights uh you know, sometime between July and September. It was like this big thing. I don't know. She just couldn't sell me. the winners you know like the the republican dominated thing who wanted to put their conservative justice on there decided to investigate these things and they put all these borders on what they could look at they didn't even interview blazy ford whatever the fuck her

name was and uh so it was like a mock don't look into it looking into it they pretended to check out these accusations didn't see what they didn't want to see and then put him on the court he might be innocent right he he maybe everything he said is true and everything she might have mixed him up with a different guy i don't even know it seems like a conveniently timed railroading. But I do know that there was a railroading there. It was the same thing with Trump and the Russian shit, right? The House impeaches him. The Senate looks into it. They don't call a single witness. The Mueller report found him not innocent and guilty of 10 counts of obstruction.

And the Senate says, nothing to see here. No witnesses. In a few hours hours it's over and it's like all right don't tell someone not innocent they either charge someone or don't they he said something like if i could have declared him innocent i would have but i can't see that like that that's that was in the thing bar before he released the report, said, it says here that he's found completely exonerated, which is not what it said. Barr lied. But that became the story for six weeks before we got to actually see the Mueller report.

The Senate lets him go. And now it's like history was written by these winners that say, see, the Russian thing was wrong all this time. Nothing actually happened. Whereas if the Senate was filled with Democrats, they'd be like, what is with these 10 counts of obstruction? Why aren't we interviewing Trump? Why don't we get this guy on the stand like we did Clinton? But the Republican just looked the other way, and now he's innocent. Man, we are striking while the iron is hot on these topics, boys.

You're right, you're right, you're right. This is the 2017, 2018. Yeah, I don't know. Let's talk about Obama. So somehow Kavanaugh came up and, you know, he was innocent or guilty. But, yeah, history was written by the winners. I guess it always is. It generally is.

They just sort of railroaded their way to the answers they wanted to get. I suppose. I suppose. I see your side of it. Really, the biggest part was his testimonial. I just believed that man. And I felt bad for him. I felt like she was not a sympathetic

witness. I could tell that I disliked her and i thought i did like him and even removing that from the equation i was still like he's he's believable she's not and i had that feeling the whole time and i look if there'd been a scrap of evidence i'd be like get this fucking rapist out of here being on the head of the court he needs to be in a court like like but i just never i never sensed that yeah i didn't i didn't know what an appropriate punishment was and like what exactly he did and you know it was

like in the height of the me too frenzy where like that's true too yeah so it was easy to get something going of you so much as try to kiss a girl to see if she wants to kiss you and it's like what the fuck you didn't get a contract like at the time it was like everything about like a guy girl relationship was freaking a land land mine yeah what is the fine called minefield thank you everything about dating was a minefield and you know like i i get that the most extreme version of events is him like forcing himself on her behind a locked door or something that's never okay but like you know sometimes i i'm sorry i try to like soften it and think like here's what the truth is he says it's this if you're in bed a chick, you're both drinking and you try to kiss her and she says no.

Well, that's like a shoot your shot. Like that doesn't say rape to me. If you stop. Right. Obviously. But like in the height of the me too. Laying in bed wasn't implied. Go for a kiss.

And I'm like, I don't know. I kind of think it might be yeah i and like i know neither of you date well what do you ever know and then but but like girls are like you just get like two versions of what reality are there's this version of reality that like you get from social media that women are this way, but when you actually meet a real... I know not all of you have ever met a real woman,

but in real life, none of that applies. I kind of got so sensitive from the Me Too thing. I'll just be like, are you okay? Are we okay here? She's like, no guy's ever even asked these things before. What are you talking about? And the fact that you're inside

me asking it is turning me off. I can feel myself drying with, oh, I wanted a man to just be masculine and take me and throw me around. Oh, are you okay? Well, you fucking ruined it, bitch. Damn it. Kyle, take me. I don't know.

I know a lot of women and I don't know one who doesn't like to get the shit choked out of her, her hair pulled, get thrown around the fucking bed, and like 75% want you to spit in their face. That's what women are like.

That's what women are like. We're boys. We know what women are like. I swear to God. They like it when you steal their credit card and buy dinner. See, you like this because I'm too strong for you to stop. I don't know any women who don't

at least to get the shit spanked out of them. Not little poop, but get a real fucking ass reddening spanking. I held the door for jackie once she called me a little bitch yeah yeah someone's not getting blown this week i'm sorry i'll hit you i promise do it now i'm not gonna do it at fucking salsa fresca like like when like women don't actually want some kind of a dude who's just like a real pussy who's just like a mealy mouth would you

mind if i played with your tits did you say salsa fresh is that a widely known place i said one also fresca because i was trying to guess the place that you go to because i've never there's none here i was about to say that like if they wanted a man like that they would just get a woman but no like like lesbian couples like are hard fucking core like like they're they're also into like like somebody's getting slapped around or somebody's getting roughed up a little bit like like i don't know that's just part of the human condition and when people are and when the social media and the and the listicles on buzzfeed are like 10 things women hate and it's written by an absolute ogre

who's just trying to you know misery loves company she's just a crab in a bucket like get back here samantha you can't be happy if i can't be happy so yeah it's that honestly is what it is and don't get me wrong there's absolutely fucking predators out there who are like fucking you know like they're weinstein guys fucking like degenerate predators who are who are now where they belong to be um like bill cosby you know free on the streets and and uh but but i must be proven innocent i think no he was he was proven to be a great deal maker that doesn't sound right to me. No, no. If he wasn't innocent, he wouldn't be on the streets.

How funny would it be if like two weeks before that happened, Trump was like, and I've been talking to my old friend Bill. I gave him a couple of tips on a deal. You know, we'll see where it goes. We'll see where it goes. It's like Trump responsible for freeing serious people. We were in my motorcycle course. There was by the second day, you know, the two Puerto Rican guys had quit and one of the black guys had quit. So it was, what was it? Three white guys and two black guys.

And I usually get along much better with black people than I do white people for whatever reason. And like me and the two black guys are kind of palling around and we're inside like we're inside, like getting some air conditioning on a break. And, uh, I started talking to him about OJ's Twitter. I was like, have y'all seen OJ's Twitter? He's like, they're like, OJ Simpson. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they're like, he got a Twitter. I'm like, yeah, it's awesome. He's great. He's fucking hilarious on there. Like, like they're like, they're like, Oh, I got to check this shit out. They're pulling their phones. We're looking at OJ's Twitter. We're all palling around about it and everything. And I'm'm like what do y'all think about all that shit i was like i'm pretty sure that like they railroaded him that second time

around i was like they're secretly recording in the room i don't think he should have gotten any trouble for that we're like yeah for sure i'm like what about that shit back in 92 they're like oh that nigga did that shit and the other one went, mm-hmm. It's like an understood thing. Everybody knows he did it. Like, it's just like,

because I was wondering if they were going to be like, you know, man, the wheels of justice back then, who's to say, who's to say? But they were just like, oh no, he cut those people's heads off. And after they said that, I was like, well, maybe that's what you get for running around with a man's money, you know? And they were both like, damn right, damn right. Because Nicole, you know, running around with OJ's money, fucking this other dude in his house.

Who was the other guy that he met? Ron Goldman. And Ron Goldman was fucking OJ's wife. Yeah. He's like, he's getting his dick sucked in OJ's living room. OJ's outside looking in the windows and shit. Like, he wasn't going to have that. He's not going to have his, like, blonde.

You can't do that to OJ. You can't do that shit to OJ? He's the juice. You know how many yards he ran for? Oh, man, this guy's Wikipedia page. Have you seen a car rental commercial in the last decade? I remember their argument was that OJ Simpson wasn't athletic enough to do this crime. Oh, man, this guy's Wikipedia page. Have you seen a car rental commercial in the last decade? I remember their argument was that OJ Simpson wasn't athletic enough to do this crime.

And they're like, yes. Yeah, they're like, his hips are ruined. His knees are wrecked. Like all this stuff. And the prosecution's like, here's his jazzercise VHS tape. here's his jazzercise VHS tape. Yeah, they were claiming that he was decrepit and broken. No, OJ was still, I mean, he wasn't going to run for any more yards in the NFL, but he was head and shoulders above the average man. He's a big dude to begin with.

He's a natural athlete, one of the best running backs who ever played the fucking game. He was only 45 when he did it. Yeah, he got those people's fucking heads off him. Getting along with black people. And so I'm trying to learn to wheelie my motorcycle. I'm bad at it. I can wheelie a little, but I'm bad. And

there's a group of guys in every major city, Raleigh included, that wheelie their illegal dirt bikes around the city. And I was hanging hanging with my black black friend it was yesterday and i'm like do you think they teach me to wheelie am i too white to get along and he's like no man they love you you gotta try it go down there make friends he might be setting me up to be killed i don't know yeah yeah probably have you considered and

i'm out of my depth here, but putting a different sprocket on the back to make it easier? People say the DRZ 400 I have is one of the best bikes to learn to wheelie. I don't think it's a bike problem. I think it's me. Here's the deal. To wheelie, you kind of pull on, you sort of shift your weight back a bit, pull on the handlebars. At the same time, you're like giving it gas, letting out the clutch and having it pop up, right? So you give a lot of gas, let out the clutch, tug on it and it'll pop up. Cool.

What I like to do is slide forward on the seat, lean forward so it can't come up and then do that. And obviously it doesn't work. So I'm inching up my bravery towards like shifting my weight back, pulling on the handlebars. Do you do this on grass or on asphalt? In my yard. So on grass? Yeah, on grass. I would love to do that. I would love to practice that on grass because I wouldn't be afraid on grass because you just fall off and bust your butt on some grass. It's no big deal. I'm afraid of the asphalt. It really taught me a lot like just that little tumble I took yesterday like

that it doesn't hurt to like just fall off from like bike height down to the ground like that that's nothing um especially with some gear on i can absorb so much of the shock like it i don't know i've had worse falls in my living room for sure uh but like uh i i so yeah i would like to learn how to do that too. Obviously, that's way beyond. Right now, I need to learn how to turn left. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying. You're like Zoolander. I'm not trying. He's not an omni-turner.

I can't do blue still from the left. That's something that interests me as well. Once I get my feet underneath me, I guess. Scum says that he was talking about, like, doing it on a bike that's, like, in a cage. But I think he's talking about, like, asphalt stuff again. And that is scary to me, like, doing the wheelie on the asphalt. I'll tell you what's scary.

I don't want to, like, have to replace my helmet. I don't want to, like, spend $400. I don't want to like spend $400 every time I go to like practice this thing. And I can just see coming off the back, hitting the back of your head on the asphalt and being like, ah, you fucked your helmet. I was going to ask you like, like beginning of the show,

you were like, if I would have kept my head from hitting the ground, cause I would have had to spend an extra 400 bucks. If your head, if your helmet hits the ground, is it like, all right, well the safety has been compromised.

You need a new one. Yeah. It has to go and get in. You have to get inspected is my understanding but then most of the time they're going to be i think you've got like a hard shell and then you've got like some crushable stuff underneath that that's meant to absorb shock and once it's crushed its usefulness is diminished that makes sense now yeah okay so it's foam like the inside of a bicycle helmet he's talking about that and then the um the outer shell and a good helmet and probably kyle's is uh like a fiberglass and it's nice because when you hit it it kind of like spider webs and absorbs a lot of that energy but then the next time you hit it it's it's not the same yeah yeah it's it's and you know it's

it's just such a crucial piece of safety gear. It's not like the helmet that maybe you would use if you were like ziplining or something. It's like, oh yeah, I got a little dent in it. You're just bumping trees and stuff. You might need this to save your life someday.

Or change the outcome of an accident from I lost five minutes to I'm just never as smart as I used to be. It could be dead. You could get like, you know, fucking brain bleed, whatever, like, like so many bad things could happen. Um, it's, uh, I'm okay, but now I can't make the letter. I mean, it's don't, there's nothing between you and the asphalt and you're going faster than you've ever gone before. It's, it's's it's a recipe for fucking disaster and you're surrounded by 6 000 pound machines operated that that are often operated by people who shouldn't

be operating them um it's it's and it's one of the most dangerous things that you can do there's something i forget the term for it it's like uh unintentional blindness emotion blindness like like what did you call it motion blindness because our instructor told us about that video where basically you're watching this video and the guy says, all right, it's got like a high school basketball team underneath the hoop. And it's like, I want you guys to count how many times they pass the ball. And they've got like three balls between six guys or whatever.

And they're all just like, they're doing bounce passes. They're doing little trick passes between the leg stuff. They're doing just regular straight out in front of you passes. The whole crowd is counting. It's hard to keep up because it's six guys, three balls. It's doing it different ways. At the end of the video, it's like, all right, how many passes

did you guys get? One guy says 37. One guy says 52. One guy says 60. All right. What do you guys think about the gorilla? And they're like, what? You know, the woman who came out in the middle of the video wearing the gorilla suit who stood

right under the goal and waved at you and then went, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, and sprinted away. What'd you guys think about that? What the fuck are you talking about? And he replays the video and there's a goddamn gorilla woman out there like doing this right in the middle of the screen and nobody saw it because of like this like motion blindness that that humans get when they're trying to track multiple things yeah i've seen that video it's funny so that that sounds very much like what i'm talking

about but it but related it if you're looking for a car coming and there's a motorcycle coming, then you can be blind to it because it's not what you were expecting. You were looking for a particular thing. You weren't looking for a motorcycle and therefore you didn't observe it. That, that is a thing that happens. And, uh, so when you're on the bike, you just kind of got to drive with an escape route because they might not see you you don't think so no no i agree no no i agree 100 yeah but that video is wild um yeah that is i want to see it now but i'll have to maybe it's on youtube somewhere but uh yeah all right oh have you guys seen the floods in Germany? No. I don't watch the news.

The news is always depressing. So there are floods in Germany just murdering people right now. And it's like a big global story. Zach, if you could show that picture. The flooding is so bad they can't get to the places that are flooded. It's like a war zone. bad they can't get to the places that are flooded it's like a war zone and like i saw this picture and i'm like well you put the town in the wrong spot clearly like it that that looks like it's going to be a lake every so often those homes like look in the sort of bottom

left side of it leon on the top side of the bridge how many houses are missing like there's just maybe not maybe i'm just assuming there's supposed to be houses there and now they look more closely but yeah anyway flooding in germany killing tons people, and the rescue efforts are hampered because they can't get to where the flooding is because the flooding is in the way. Oh, my God. I'm watching a video on YouTube right now called Catastrophic Flooding Hits Western Germany, Leaving Dozens Dead. But did it rain for like a month straight?

What caused it? Did the dam break? I think it was rain. But it's next level. Germany's underwater. It's a big issue. I don't know what to make of the whole climate change thing. Because here's my frustration.

Every time it snows in the winter, the people who say there's climate change remind you that weather is not climate, that it's cold right now, but that's just right now. Every time it's hot in the summer, they absolutely say this is global warming. This is climate change. Every big hurricane, oh, things are just getting more dramatic. Every flood, every this, every that. It was hot in the Northwest when I was on my bike trip. Global warming, this is it. Why is weather not climate in the winter, but it is in the summer? I don't know. It seems to be true. It seems to be undeniably

heating up. There's just a question of why, not if. Maybe there's no question of why. I'm sure. I don't think it'll matter in our lifetimes, right? It could. I bet it's going to get comfortable and balmy in our lifetimes. I like that.

That'd be nice. Instead of retiring in Florida, maybe just Southern Georgia would do. I mean, it needs to hurry up. It'll stay deep down there. It's a swampland. Because it got to minus seven when my pipe burst. And so it was the coldest winter on record in St. Louis in fucking forever. I want a basement update.

What's new? Carpet is going in tomorrow morning and then all the furniture is getting moved back in and assembled and so it should be good by tomorrow afternoon wow we are in the final steps carpet is the last thing the very last thing and so i mean this has been almost six months yeah well i mean it is a problem caused by freezing and it is mid-july so and it would have like it wasn't the insurance that held it up it wasn't like the drywall like initial repair people who were partnered with the insurance company no it's it's been everything ancillary to that the fucking foundation crooks who took forever. They've been the worst by far. And then the carpet people, like I had to leave like stern voicemails for this guy repeatedly over and over and over and over.

And it was just like promise. It was, it was similar to what you went through Woody, where it was like, yeah, I think we'll get you slotted in on Tuesday. And then it's like Tuesday comes and goes and it's like, all right,

well let me call this fucking piece of shit again and so he better show up tomorrow or I'll do something drastic don't think there won't be another sternly phrased voicemail I'm going to say the name of the company

and fuck them that's what I was going to say I would do that right now look nobody wants a whole slew of one star Google And fuck them. That's what I was going to say. I would do that right now. Look, nobody wants a whole slew of one-star Google reviews. That place only had one one-star ever before the day before yesterday. Now they've got a slew of them, and a lot of them are silly jokes. One of them is like five stars.

I like how they treat felons around there. They don't put them in any slack. Hilar hilarious but like uh and you know there's the one like one star like like uh jordy mcgravy here like cup holders won't even fit my wendy's chili like no way i'm buying this thing and uh but then a lot of them are just like reiterating what i said and it's like nobody wants that like like i like, you know, that, that guy called me and he wasn't mad. He was just concerned. He was just like, well, he really wanted to make it right. He's like, can you come in and like, talk to the general manager there about your experience? And maybe we can like, avoid this ever happening again. And I was like, I don't ever want to go back there. I'm going to drive an hour every time I need to get service.

Every time I like buy another bike, I'm driving an hour. Instead of the eight minutes to your McDonald location, because I was like, I bought $700 worth of gear there last week. And Andrew in the department over there, awesome guy, coolest guy ever. I fully intended to go back and buy like a i was i told him i was like i intended to like not only buy the bike that day i intended to buy a windscreen for it the fender delete to get the uh to get the um the the things on the skid to skid things um i was gonna go buy some pants i was gonna go get a bluetooth for my helmet i was gonna spend

like another thousand dollars that day like i I, you have lost my business. And, and like, like this, because this guy was a jerk and because of like the, you know, the, the process that I had to go through,

like it's, I don't know. I think things, I think the bad guys lost again, but again, I do really appreciate that guy calling me. I don't want anybody to fuck with them anymore. If it means any,

what, if my word means anything to any of you leave those guys alone. He was, the owner is fixing the problem. All is right with the world. Well, I'm going to give it till, I'm not going to say anything until tomorrow happens. Hopefully it'll go off without a hitch finally. And I can use my basement again. That would be, that's the ideal thing.

I don't want to cause any problems. There's an additional sump pump in the corner now. Yeah. It's a huge lifestyle improvement. Huge. So you were unhappy, I guess it's fair to say, about the presence of new pipes. But I don't know if I'm picturing it right. Yeah. So basically, it was a rectangular room where I had my pool table,

my sectional, a recliner, and then the TV and entertainment set up. And it was like, it's not the biggest room in the world. And so like, there's not a ton of like room to be like, okay,

we're going to shift the entire sectional four feet this way. And it's like, well now it's like cramping my style everywhere else. And so they basically put a two and a half by two and a half foot box that's about three feet tall in the corner to hold the second sump pump with a little uh you know uh you know cupboard door on it and so it's really not a big deal all i have to do is be like okay instead of organizing my sectional this way i have to do it this way now but that's not yeah yeah no i thought there was a pipe that ran along the wall that used to be in the wall. And now it's not.

And it's hard. It was the new sump pump did have pipes that like came out. But that's what they built that like drywall box for. So I can put a vase with flowers or something on top of it. I don't know. My wife can handle that. That's what they're for. Yeah, man.

Saying my wife, I feel like a grown-up dude when the when the day i got married we took pictures um in between the wedding and the reception and he kept telling me to like i don't know grab my wife's hand hold my wife's brace look at my wife's eyes and it was just like all this all this is hitting kind of heavy right here in my head i was like can we just call her jackie for for the day this is coming at me fast yeah i didn't i mean i hated saying fiance and so i i still like ex-girlfriend well now it's ex-fiance. Ex-fiance? They both fit, really. Truly, they do. Zach just asked, and everybody's wondering,

Tarasenko requested a trade out of St. Louis. Get out of there. You know where he's going? Dude, he got... Oh yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure you would have been on that way before me. Yeah, the Atlanta Hawks, probably. The Atlanta Crashers. He. The Atlanta Thrasher.

He's going to restart the franchise. They're getting Hosta and Kovalchuk and Sweet Tea. We're going to fucking win the puck this year. Hosta is coming out of retirement. He's coming out of retirement. They rebuilt him. He's good to go. Kovalchuk is such a piece of shit.

He just didn't like being on teams and so he would just leave like he didn't want to be on New Jersey so bad I think that he was like I'm going back to Russia fuck you and then they just left just wouldn't play for trade list includes the Flyers but who are they gonna get like it I'm always happy to have a guy like sweet tea assuming

he's not as washed as he might be but you know Paris Sanko the Blues get Morgan Frost and He's not as washed as he might be. But, you know, he's injured. Yeah, Tarasenko. The Blues get Morgan Frost and Felipe Myers. Felipe Myers.

I don't know if Felipe Myers or any of them, but I like nobody wants to overpay for Tarasenko right now because his shoulder may never. He's one of the best pure goal scorers with his prime in the NHL. Very good at that. But like and apparently he's furious because the blues he's been he's had three surgeries in the last two and a half years and they wanted to use like team doctors and so like the first surgery didn't correct the ligament problem the second surgery exacerbated it and made it worse and so that's why when he came back in the playoffs like this past year it was like is he

gonna play oh he clearly like can barely shoot the puck like his shoulders fucked up and then he went to like some renowned shoulder surgeon outside of the organization and the guy's like oh my god like you've been playing with it like it's they've they've done damage to your shoulder if anything like this is not fixed and so he went in and corrected it and so but now it's an up inin-the-air thing of is he too fucked from those initial shoulder surgeries, or is this new one going to get him back into his prime? And the Blues don't have to trade him.

And so my guess would be it's smartest to keep him, see how the season goes. His value can't get any lower because people are all assuming this dude's shoulder shot three surgeries in two and a half years that's like and you're not good at defense you're a sniper your whole job is past that guy the puck and then he's going to use his shoulders to score really quickly like that's his only job so yeah i for his sake i'm hoping that whether it's with the blues or someone else he can get his career back on track Because that's got to be annoying as shit to know that, like, oh, I could have been, like, racking up my career totals and, like, being a bigger part of this team if I hadn't been sabotaged effectively by shittier doctors.

And probably, like, some, like, cousin connection as these things tend to go where it's like, oh, yeah, my cousin's a shoulder doctor and he's really good and he's in the organization he has been for 20 years. Counterpoint. Yeah. Tarasenko is like, I, yeah, my cousin's a shoulder doctor, and he's really good, and he's in the organization. He has been for 20 years. Counterpoint. Yeah. Tarasenko is like, I'm making up numbers, $120 million asset for the St. Louis Blues. They're not sending him to some jackass cousin's doctor. They want the best mechanic they can find for, you know, flesh mechanic for this guy. They probably thought they were acting in the best way possible oh yeah you're right you're definitely right there like they wouldn't take their highest

paid player and be like yeah let's go to the urgent care and see if they can whip something up like they definitely want him to to be better but is team doctor a highly prized like so my the guy the doctor i guess i'll just say Dr. Martini, my favorite orthopedic surgeon in Raleigh. He's amazing. If you're in Raleigh and you're hurt, hit him up. But he was the team doctor for the Carolina Hurricanes for a while and the Green Bay Packers and some others.

And I asked him why he stopped being the team doctor for the Hurricanes and it was the travel. He's like, I think that he's on the bench for every home game and every playoff game that's a lot yeah he's like that's a lot of work you know like like you know i have a i want to live a normal life and do these things um so as i think about it i'm like yeah, yeah, who wants that job? You know, who wants to attend that many games? If you're an orthopedic surgeon, maybe you can't get this world renowned guy. That was Tara Sango's first choice to be a team doctor.

Oh, that I, yeah, that guy's making way more at his private practice for sure. Than he would doing that and comfortably from his own hometown. And like, in fairness to the blues, like every team has team doctors,

like the blues team doctors have done shoulder surgeries on people before and it's like oh this guy came back and he's fine and so i guess there was no reason to assume that they would botch it twice uh when they'd had success in the past just just bad fucking luck his shoulder must have been absolutely torn apart just destroyed how would somebody check him or like do you know i don't remember what happened initially like 2017 or something that he fucked it up initially and then it was just a spiral downward so it could be cumulative too yeah probably and they couldn't have helped all those times that they're like all right you're mostly back to normal want to play in the stanley

cup playoffs for two months and it's like you could even tell when the blues were going on their cup run. It was like, oh, that's a good goal from Tarasenko. We kind of shot that a little slow for his standard. That's odd. Usually it kind of just teleports to the back of the neck. You can track that one. So yeah, that's got to be infuriating.

But I bet like $9 million a year makes you happy. As you keep saying that, it's like, I don't know. Yeah, but also like there's legacy and shit he um that's true yeah if your team's in the stanley cup finals and you're at 80 and they give you a chance to contribute you might say yes knowing that like it fuck i'll trade two years off my career for this chance i'm sure he would do that again because he was still like i think that was the series where it was like he definitely hurt himself playing when he absolutely should not have been playing and he was still scoring a good number of goals getting getting good points but yeah i mean if i

were in the nhl i would trade two years of career for a stanley cup like that's so prestigious like you yeah you're still getting paid you know i bet charles barkley would have i bet he would have ended his two years early and got in the ring knowing what he knows now maybe he would but like because all the endorsements and stuff but i think you're discounting a couple years salary it's you still get salary when you're injured oh i thought you're talking about like a career ending injury oh oh i just thought it was like a career, you know, worn out, retire early. That's how I interpret it is. I mean, he, yeah, he definitely won't get paid the way,

like he's going to take like probably half or probably a little more than half of what his current contract is when he gets somewhere else, unless he demonstrates he can do it. Well, Blues win the Stanley Cup, then the fucking COVID shit happens. Cat becomes flat. Can't afford our all-star defenseman. He has to get traded. Other guys have to leave.

Just the ultimate clusterfuck where I'm like, we could be a dynasty. The gang's all here. The Blues don't have a single superstar. Everybody's got team-friendly contracts. And then it's like Armstrong's like, I'm going to sign this guy for X million. And then like fucking two weeks later, Gary Bettman's like, yeah, that $4 million extra dollars I promised everyone. Sorry.

And that contract's already signed, so you're on the hook. I'm hearing St. Louis Blues, things are back to normal. They very well might be. We'll see. I mean, you can't tell from this past season. They were the most injured team in the league by, like they measured by man games lost and it was like a ridiculous it was every single game someone was getting grievously injured it felt like but the Sixers have a player I'm sorry Kyle named Ben Simmons he had a very bad

playoff series awful maybe even a bad playoff year and uh now they're talking about trading him and they're not getting good value for him and they want good value. And Zach says they're 100% trading him. I don't know if I want that. It's kind of like the Tarasenko situation where you're like, this is a turn. You know,

his stock's at an all time low. Sure. He really is one of the best defensive players. Maybe he can improve the aspects of his game that need improving. I haven't given up hope on him but better basketball minds than me are on the case yeah that's it's funny like because i'll follow the hockey reddit and like every once in a while they'll have like hey remember when this blockbuster trade happened in 2016 and like hindsight's 2020 and so now everyone will be like shea weber for p Subban. I mean, of course, you know, PK Subban, the younger guy who was higher value at the time

is going to fall off tremendously. And Shea Weber, the older gentleman, is going to unpredictably be very good. And it's like, no, at the time, every single person was like, what a bunch of morons. I should be the GM. They just got fleeced.

No, the GM knew what he was doing. He's a GM for. Yeah. It's easy to overestimate how long your star's window is, right? Either. So our best player is very big. He's probably one of the tallest guys in the league. And they don't live that long.

They don't last that long in the league. He already plays like 60 games a year instead of 82. And, you know, it's just like yeah he might only have two more years in which he is as good as he is or one or maybe he just passed his best year which was a very good one hockey they're going back to their 82 game season and the regular playoff matchups not doing like the which are regular season matchups where they're playing every team again instead of doing the really fucking annoying just playing the same

other six teams over and over and over as basketball announced that they're going back to regular? I think so. Did they do it? The NHL didn't only play within their division or did they actually play everyone last year? I think they played everyone, but they definitely played fewer games and uh they changed the way they do playoffs which everyone like the players

hate but i like um used to be eight teams made it boom now teams is seven through ten the bottom four yeah seven through ten um they play each other to figure out who seven and eight will be so there's like a little thing and by the way if you're like nine and ten you have to win two games and if you're seven and eight you only have to win one if it makes any sense like oh that's you know if you're seven and eight then you like get kicked into the loser's bracket and you can still make it but if you win then you made it so uh kind of cool i like it i feel like it keeps more teams on the bubble and there's two bubbles there's you know like the bubble for the bubble and then there's the bubble for the not making it at all and it just makes

games count for so many teams that otherwise didn't yeah and i like it but the other players are like so many teams are like yeah fuck no it's like harder to make the playoffs i have to to make the playoffs after i made the playoffs like what's the fuck with that you know like why can't we so i get their point but screw them it's more entertaining there's more to watch more matters i feel you i like it how's the kyle how are your braves doing i think we're four games back um behind the mets and the phillies i believe um so what phillies are doing well all right i'm a baseball guy second place or no wait barely the the phillies are 3.5 games back so this is pretty much in there dominance dominance cardinals aren't doing well they're eight games back. Dominant.

Cardinals aren't doing well. They're eight games back. No wonder the Brewers are out of control. 53-39 in baseball. That's a good record. Is it? Yeah. 576? The leaders in every...

It's like 604, 607. It's the second worst leader oh i guess when you look at it that way true san francisco giants they're the ones running away with it 0.64 god i cannot watch baseball to save my life it is so fucking boring this is how you watch baseball you just look at the statistics you don't do the whole game i mean that's way better because baseball is just it's it's a chore i have friends who watch like every game that they can they just love base like it's a it's a big culture thing here in st louis like the games

are packed generally even bullshit games everybody goes to the whole game or is it like you know just they put it on in the background as often as possible more in the background as often as possible but then like if i'm out you know having a beer with them like if it's not talking about hockey sports it's like oh the cardinals they got this new guy armin numarimo uh from the fucking giants and he's the best third baseman in baseball and it's like neat and then like cool i guess and then it's like the the salaries in baseball are outrageous too not not quite or i don't know if basketball's probably overtaking them at this point because basketball contracts have been uh crazy as well they have gone bonkers. There are far fewer jobs. That's true.

There's a lot more money than total in baseball, I guess. When you look at the good basketball contracts, there's whatever, 20 people who have them. Whereas in baseball, it seems like there's five per team and 150 people who have them. Isn't every major sports ratings going down right now?

Yes. They have been for a long time. Yeah. Not every. UFC's up. Oh. Well, they're not one of them. Yeah.

They're becoming a major sport, I guess. Yeah. But I often see sports haters really dig on that. Like, ooh, NFL ratings are down. Fuck those kneeling flag, whatever, whatever. And it's like, eh, I know, but NBA is also down and baseball is also down. And are we sure it's like NBA is that like,

they really back the black lives matter thing. A lot of people are like, that's why your ratings are saying sunk. I bet it's a mix. bet part of it but then also like there's a lot more competition for your eyeballs now than there were there was 10 years ago even like and you can just throw on amazon throw on hulu like do you really want to watch game 111 of the cardinals versus the whatever like no i think that the um you know that the competition is steep for entertainment eyes. But I also think that the kneeling stuff and the Black Lives Matter stuff did hurt a significant amount of viewership for NBA and NFL. Baseball is doing poorly, but it's been on a downhill slide since the steroid thing, I think.

I think it started with like like diminishing around barry bond's time like early 90s it's it's been downhill for so long um and it's also a very boring game to watch like i love baseball and if i'm in the car and the baseball game's on i really like listening uh but man sitting down and watching a whole baseball game unless it's playoff baseball and it's my team it's not happening it's not happening like maybe occasionally and if I were somewhere like we're going to Colorado if I think it'll be unless they're in the series I don't think they're in the playoffs or something there won't be any baseball games but if there were I'd go to one I'd go to one there but otherwise no it's not happening

yeah it's a very good sport like the person I remember, my great-grandpa, watched every single Cardinals game. He would sit there. I mean, he was also as old as time. That's about all he could do, sit there and watch it in that chair that stands you up when you're ready to stand up. But, yeah, there's no one who just cares about it like that anymore. I wonder howa is doing because i feel like they're not tied up in any of the other movements right like ncaa they're

not kneeling they're not wearing black lives matter slogans instead of their names like the nba did um they're just playing like nothing's changed pandemic impacted them like anyone else but how's the NCAA doing because that would be telling as to whether or not people are just less interested in sports or angry with the players yeah yeah I have no idea I prefer like I don't watch the NFL anyway but if I to watch football, college is so much more fun to watch. It feels more up in the air. Oh, for sure. Now I will watch some Georgia Bulldogs games.

I really do enjoy that. And probably because we're so fucking good. Every year we're in the mix for the national title. We're going to be a top ten team every year, if not a top five team, like every single year. Now this is the year we're going to be a top 10 team every year if not a top five team like every single year now this is the year we're gonna get you it might i mean well you're not but no mizzou is storming we're gonna we're gonna win no we're not uh i can't i've been looking for numbers i'm not finding what i'm looking. I just wanted to see the ratings of every sport to sort of graft with, you know,

years on the X axis, but don't see it. Ratings by year. Final four ratings, history, 1975 to present. Yeah. It didn't seem like COVID took people's eyes off the ball a little bit.

It has somehow sports wasn't the thing that it might be me but i feel like politics became the most interesting sport in prior to biden like during trump's four years it was great the final four ratings yeah there you're right that this uh plays to your point woody. It is getting less popular. Okay. It could just be that people are... There's way too much competition for eyeballs and people are choosing non-sports entertainment instead of sports.

I am. There you go. This is way better than watching a fucking Braves game. It's just way fucking better. You learn new words. You're talking about rene right? You learn new words. Are you talking about Renegger? You attack public companies.

You attack public companies. You join for... Everybody gets behind a cause around here. We got a cool nickname. Like, it's a... You got a whole fan club. Do you remember we used to routinely DDoS big companies to see if we could take down

their websites for i loved doing that when it was live that was such a great sales pitch when i was doing fbs russia stuff it'd be like like like when i would like pimp out some like gun website or something and the shit would crash and it would stay down because it was like they didn't know how i don't know if it counts how many like people tried to get in or like or if they didn't know how, I don't know if it counts how many like people tried to get in or like, or if they didn't know how to access that number, but it was like, yeah, we just sent 200 million people there. I mean, the number of people we sent is incalculable, but we probably know somebody who can like beef up your website for next time.

I'll just make some money coming and going. We take down companies you've heard of that maybe don't have like a, like we couldn't take down Amazon, but Wendy's website, not actually that big, especially, you know, like eight years ago,

a mag light, you know, the, the company that made those flashlights that are kind of, no one wants a fucking giant flashlight anymore, but we take down mag light. We take down Wendy's, we take down whatever. Oh, down wendy's we take down whatever oh

speaking of takedowns did you see derek's review of g fuel more plates more dates no but oh what did he do did he say it was horrible yes i i just so derek does this thing we'll make a whole video but the opening like 15 seconds of it are often some of the most entertaining of it. I'm sure he won't copyright us if we play his first 15 seconds. I'm looking for it. I'm going to ask Zach to play it in a second. Here, I found it.

Zach, here's the link. i've never tried g fuel can you play the opening few seconds he says possible sponsor yeah i'm about to ruin that i guess but uh that's okay i'd rather not have them play the opening few seconds of this video because the whole thing is like this. 25 minutes of roasting. Another thing. I don't have audio. We'll get it. Derek's big thing is he doesn't just say there's creatine in here he uses the correct amount of it you're going to play this is literally saying i know you're a

little kid who doesn't know how to read labels you we're putting in this ingredient at one milligram so it makes it seem like the formula is more comprehensive eat my dick at his death at one milligram like these two ingredients you might as well drop your nuts on my head like that's how bad this is it's nonsense look like it just is nonsense like i remember i remember when they had that whole lead thing because it was like getting made in China and like probably the same hopper that they make like lead buckshot in or something like that. And there's like lead in G Fuel. And I'm just like, there's no way I want a G Fuel sponsorship.

Like, look, I got nothing against anybody who picks up the G Fuel sponsorship. Take that poison money. Okay. Get it. Get it. They don't have lead in there anymore, I'm sure. Probably. Maybe not. I don't know. It's not on the label. And so, probably not.

But no. Want some caffeine? Get some fucking... Look, there's so many sources of caffeine, boys. Like, coffee is so goddamn cheap and delicious. Take a pill. They're giving that away. You're mixing up some, like, powder. There's no way it tastes good. It's going to be grainy. We all drink pre-workout.

We don't drink it for fun, though. We're never like, I could use a little pick-me-up in the middle of my day. Let's have a little pre-workout. No, it's all gritty and grainy. You're drinking pre-workout for the ingredients in it. Yeah. I used to have a G Fuel sponsorship, and I talked to the guys,

and I was that idiot guys and I didn't I was that idiot who couldn't really. I remember them saying like, oh, they put creatine in it and creatine can't come in these different flavors because it has a taste to it. And that's why creatine is all like banana strawberry because it overpowers the

taste of the creatine, which they struggled with. We can't make a lime, whatever. It was like i don't know i my takeaway from the conversation was oh shit these guys are like doing business and making stuff that's weird that they would say that about creatine because um it for those of you out there if you're ever going to buy creatine get the cheapest creatine you can get it comes in like a one and a half pound tub for like $9 at the grocery store, and it's flavorless. Here's how you know if you fucked up with your creatine.

If the scoop is this size or bigger, you have fucked up. What is that, a five grand? The scoop should be about as big around as not even a nickel, like just a little bit bigger than a dime, and it should be like about as tall as a dime and as wide. It's just a tiny scoop. You put put it in water and it's tasteless it tastes like nothing it tastes like water and they try and like make it like i remember like looking this is years ago it was like micronized creatine like is this and then it was like all the data is just like nope just get creatine monohydrate you can get 15 pounds of it for 30 like and you use it five grams at a time so it's going to last you years yeah like the gorilla mine stuff they always put like like these are the dosages that humans need to get full

effect from this thing that's how much is in. G Fuel got kind of busted doing one milligram of stuff. Derek doesn't play that shit. I think the phraseology is non-efficacious dosages. He always did. Derek, it's been a long time since I've been in college. Oh yeah, this has

aspirin in it. Wait a a minute. It's 0.001 milligrams. That's not going to help your headache. They just did that so they can say, oh, and it has aspirin. No, you need doses that matter of things. And there is a minimum dosage of creatine that you want. You want five. Is it five grams or five milligrams? Either way, it's five. The number is five. That is true. I think it's five grams a day, every day. And don't load your creatine. That's bullshit. That's another like cell tech. Did you ever use cell tech back in the day? What do you mean by loading it? It means they're like for the first five days or seven days you're on creatine, you want to take 20 grams instead of five so you can overload your body with it. And it's like, yeah, there's not any data that says that works any better than just the five grams. You're not spilling an empty tank. No, you are though. It's just, it's just not necessary. Just take your five grams a day and it'll get done. But, but there is a period of time where, um, it takes a while to, um, to like saturate your like blood tissue or your muscle tissue or whatever. Um, and, and you can kind of lose that and gain that

if you like stop or stop and start and don't take it regularly. But in the end, like five a day, every day and you're fine. And it, and like the cheapest creatine you can possibly find, if it has a flavor, you fucked up. If the scoops are big you fucked up if it costs more than 15 and it's not 10 pounds or something you fucked up i used to buy celtic when i was like 18 17 18 19 something like that and my cousin and i would work out a lot celtic is a brand of creatine yeah we thought it was um and it would like come in like a bit like it would come in like a big like i guess it was two and a half pound container something like that like it like this tall like the size of in a big, I guess it was two and a half pound container, something like that, this tall, the size of a big thing of protein powder. It was $80.

It was the only way that we knew of to get creatine. It was big scoops. It told you to load it. You're doing multiple scoops a day for the first seven or ten days. It had a strong, that nasty fruit punch flavor. And it was full of nonsense and mostly sugar, like the flavorings and sugar and a bunch of stuff you didn't need. And, uh, and it wasn't until like not that long ago that I learned that that was just a huge rip off. I don't even know if cell tech's in business anymore. I got, I hope

not. But creatine is a white, very fine powder that you get at the cheapest thing of it you can find as cheap as you can find because it doesn't matter if it's micronized or mono or any of that nonsense creatine's creatine's creatine and it's uh something i was reading about and i i took it as fact is like you know bang energies yeah they'll talk about like they have super creatine in there and that's like just their branded version of it. But apparently there's something about it that makes it like not efficacious

as opposed to like creatine monohydrate, just regular shit. Yeah, it's like worse than regular creatine. Yeah, I was reading and it was some guy on a fitness forum. So who knows if that's true? But the guy was like, well, when you look at the ingredients,

XYZ means it's not even being utilized by your body. It's just flowing right through it because blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It is the most researched and most clinically trialed supplement in the world. And it always comes up showing positive results of like, like five, like 5%, but more strength and stuff like that over over the long term. It actually works. It's the best. It's not it's not coincidental that it not only is it the most effective and proven supplement, it's also the cheapest. Like you should you should keep that in mind whenever you're buying any sort of supplement. And it's like, Oh, this little bottle of pills here is like 180 a month probably getting ripped off you're probably getting ripped off unless the the name of those

pills ends with stone or o-n-e and it's actually some fucking steroids like if you're not taking steroids you're overpaying don't buy anything at GNC that's that fucking expensive because it's nonsense I don't believe and I'm probably like Derek would correct me I feel like I'm too hesitant to trust workout supplements where like even the branch chain amino acid fucking powder I have

I just have it because it tastes good it's literally just a cheaper version of Gatorade that's the only way i see it is that you don't want beats you don't want potassium that's been debunked you don't want bcaas you want eaa's essential amino acids well but i'm getting it for i'm not expecting anything other than i put it in my thing it tastes nice and it has like it rehydrates you all the other claims are clearly bullshit yeah if anything if you're going to add anything to your protein or whatever,

get a thing of leucine, which is one of the amino acids, and you mix in five grams of leucine into every protein shake. I get some leucine with that MetRx. Those MetRx shakes have fucking everything in there. It's got selenium. All about that effective dose, though, right? If you're getting

one gram of leucine and you're not eating a ton of fish or whatever the fuck else carries it. That effective dose is a big deal. That's why you just do what Derek tells you to. He's the one doing the due diligence. It's like, all right, I need some fucking curatine or

whatever. You're like, well, this has it. No one knows the effective doses except Derek, apparently. Yeah. Otherwise, the fitness industry is full of nonsense. That's why, and I don't like that. That's why when we went through this whole lock and load thing, we really did our best to make a product that worked.

I want people to be taking it and posting testimonials, and I want every testimonial to be like what the fuck it does work it works what the fuck like like it's i'm making huge messes now like this isn't even fun anymore like my next budget is getting out of control like i'm having to use a beach towel now like it's uh it it genuinely fucking works it's outrageous i'll be glad when we when we get that shit uh going i i'm sorry it's taking so long i thought it'd be much sooner i think everyone did including gary um but i i promise you it's happening i know there's people who think it's like tilk oh it's coming oh it's coming yeah remember when i was

talking about um oh that should be... I wish we already had a silly website set up and it said, coming soon. Damn, we missed the boat on that one. Yeah, not yet. Actually, we have more time than we want.

Actually, the boat's still at the dock. So we can get on it at any point. The ferry is on it. They haven't quite got the boat built yet. So they will make it. I think the boat's built in planning. The boat is blueprinted. It just needs to be manufactured.

But no, we don't yet, Zach. Do you guys want to call it a show? Yeah, that's a good time. Yeah, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten. My sleep schedule is so ruined. Yeah, I didn't have time to eat before the show. So I got to go eat dinner. Yeah, I think it's time. Yeah, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten. My sleep schedule is so ruined. Yeah, I didn't have time to eat before the show, so I got to go eat dinner. Yeah, I just woke up.

Yeah, I've got like 900 calories left today. Anyway, PKA, $5.50.