Painkiller Already - PKA 553 W/ Slushpuppy: Animal rituals, Celebrity Botches, Crazy Twitch Stream

Episode Date: July 24, 2021

pka553 back by popular demand slush puppy taylor very popular demand thanks for coming back this episode is brought to you by postmates and blue chew a couple of wonderful sponsors you know what they do but you're gonna hear it again in about two hours so there you go so what's been new with you still killing it on twitch oh yeah just uh hitting the grind like uh you you find out eventually that uh twitch is just like most jobs and you just gotta work a fucking trillion hours and then uh you get money so it's pretty much like everything else do you find yourself like because you do it constantly because it's your full-time thing do you find yourself like when you're not in the mood to do it just being

like showtime and it's like all right put a smile on put a smile on i gotta be happy i gotta put on this slap in my face just like fucking get in the mood i guess it's like like you're good at the game you play so you can get away with it a bit yeah yeah i can sort of just like game a lane like you know i get right back in the chair instead of half full of sleep and just rhyme around is it sometimes like yesterday i was just just like, fuck this, I'm getting off. And then just went and slept. If you only stream when you feel like it, you end up taking like five months off. Yeah.

Yeah. Pretty much. I do like spouts. So I'm like, the last couple of days I was playing that New World. And it's sort of like it's like pixelated crack and so i played for like 18 hours straight and then i was like i'm gonna sleep for two hours and i'm getting on and then play for another 12 hours and then jesus you know it's like yeah i'm yeah what is the game i haven't even heard of it uh it's good it's

called new world so it's like it's like wow it's uh it's like the mmo style you've got it's so like warring factions so it's like this overarching like gigantic pvp thing going on but uh everything in it is like a skill so it's like you can tell it's been deliberately designed to be super addictive because it's got like you're logging a tree and it has like a counter going up for your logging skill and you hear that little ding and you're like oh serotonin i'm gonna keep going so it's like yeah that's how it was with with skyrim i remember like having moments of lucidity in college like blowing off a get together so i could make iron daggers and leather bracers and like you'll come to and like level 86 of a hundred and you're like

what am I doing what's wrong with me what is my 87 and then the night is young you know I don't have anything tomorrow I suppose and you just slush Tarkov just wiped just white for people not listening like what two and a half three weeks ago something like that three days 23 days okay so yeah and you are one of the best players on the planet i think defending world champion maybe do i have this right well uh well i we did win the uh tell the story the way i want to people that hate me or say i'm shit but i'm better than them so i don't give a fuck yeah he is literally uh he was on a team but his team is the defending world champions i think

and um it i'm surprised you're not like cashing in on the tarkov rush and just playing what inspires you well i was so i took like six months off because i was after we won uh the rivals i was sort of just like yeah i'm a bit bored to talk so i took like six months off and then when i came back i was like i'm just gonna sort of mosey and just play what i want from now on so i don't really uh i don't really want to like it it saves people like when the wipe happens they'll be like i'm gonna stream for 180 hours straight until my hair falls out and then uh and then make heaps of money and and do that are you taking a dig at pestily bro but have you taken a percent

no i didn't no i respect the hustle i did that at the start. I was like, I'm going to do a subathon, and I'll do it until I get the Kappa container, which for people that don't play Tarkov, is like finishing the game in its state. And then they changed it. Usually it takes like probably 10 days for me to get it. And then they changed it. They're like, oh, you have to be level 71,

which is going to take like three months. And I was like, fuck that. i'm not streaming for three months straight and then i was these numbers people have to understand are elite numbers i played for six months and i came very close so i didn't get it but i was very close i had a couple easy tasks shooter board in heaven was finished it was like getting from level 1 to level 2 is a cinch. You're like, oh, I killed 10 things. I'm level 2 now. Getting from level 2 to level 3, it's like, oh, that's a little harder, huh?

Got to kill 30 things. Getting from level 70 to level 71 is like the first 70 levels all over again. That sucks. Actually, yeah, it is. 16 on to 70 is the same amount of experience as as uh 1 to 69 that's so yeah and they they raise the max level to 80 i think and they all like that so 71 to 72 doubles the previous one i think so i I don't think anyone's ever made it. I think the max level at the moment is like 63 or 67 or something. I have no idea.

Is that Landmark? No, Landmark is 55. I've been watching Landmark's grind a lot lately. He always does 12 to 14-hour streams, but recently he's been doing a sub goal where he cut it off last night, but he's been doing a sub goal where every 2400 subscribers, he does another 24 hour stream. So he does a 24 hour stream, take eight to 12 hours off to like sleep and like, I don't know, pay his bills. He only re-bills. 24 more hours in a row.

He did six of those in a row, I think. Maybe just five. Yeah, at least he's six right now. He's doing his six as we speak. Oh, no. He's also streaming 24-hour streams, but he's not working any harder.

He sleeps through half of his streams. He literally puts a camera on his bed and says... He's cooking dinner with his wife and eating. He's like, yeah, it's hard. It's hard work it does sound like easier but i i did that style so i i was like i'm gonna so mom went for i think like i think it was almost 60 hours and so i'm sleeping on stream i'm sleep i'm like i'm

gonna be able to fit like a a good bed in here. And I'm like, oh, I can just, like, stream in bed. And my wife's like, fuck off, no. You sleep in a single bed. And then I went to buy a single bed, and I couldn't find a place that was, like, open on the day because it was, like, of course I left it until the last fucking minute because I'm useless. And so I ended up with this, like, camping cot,

and I was laying there sleeping, and I'm like, I'm a 32-year-old man sleeping on this camping cot, and I have, like, a fucking arthritis in my back, and I'm like, what the 32 year old man sleeping on this camping cot and i have like a fucking arthritis in my back and i'm like the fuck am i doing with my life you're making upwards of three to seven dollars an hour oh yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i was just i i slept and then i got up at one stage i'm like i'm gonna have a wank and then just like walked out and come back for like half an hour it's just like everyone's like you reckon he's really having a wank i'm like fuck yes i am like i'm fucking oh we can't do this this is fucking weird man it was an hour and a half i was aging

yeah i just couldn't deal with it i was like this fucking sucks man so uh yeah i sort of uh i sort of half-heartedly got to like almost 60 hours and then was like please just let me end it and then the timer ran out and so i was afraid is kyle you'll remember the guy's name where he tucker told us about him he was alive at the time but oh really you're so good with names. Was it Ludwig? Yeah, Ludwig. He streamed for five weeks or something insane. Maybe it was a month.

I don't remember. Yeah. Basically, he had a countdown. And sometimes it would get below a minute. Like the stream's going to end in the next 32 seconds. And then someone would just dump a bunch of cash in it and keep it going to the point where it just seemed like it would never end. I don't know how it did end.

He was making so much money. It's like if you donate 100 like it would never end. I don't know how it did end. It was making so much money. It's like, if you donate a hundred subs, you're banned. We don't need it. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like some,

like, I don't know, middle Eastern oil money would just overwhelm him with cash. And he's like, all right, we put a cap on it. You can't do more than so much. That is funny that like the meme is like,

Oh, some oil money guy. And then you'll go to people's streams and it shows the top all time and it's always like Sadiq? Wow, okay. So it isn't a meme. This guy just... He's got more donated than everybody else from

two to ten. Come on. WoodyCraft had that. There were some pay-to-win elements at WoodyCraft and it's a team game. If money means nothing to me and I want to do well, we are all playing as the highest rank. Every one of us is getting supercharged swords

and pickaxes and axes and what have you. And yeah, just one guy would just fuel his whole team with, I don't know, $1,000 accounts or something. Jesus Christ. Just hating money that much i think that comes from his father loving it so much it could be i was a big fan thank you seemed perfectly healthy to me yeah i think like uh my my interpretation of rich is like some dude dropping like a thousand subs and i'm like wow that's amazing and then there's like pro people that uh that are so fucking rich they

say their mates driving like a a lamborghini that's one year old and they're just like peasant yeah it's wild that level of wealth is like barely understandable like when when you hear about like a Prince in, you know, Qatar or whatever, or maybe probably wrong country to pick, but like a Saudi Arabian Prince who has a fleet of not just luxury cars. He has like eight jets to choose from and they're all cool.

They're all really nice with them. That's the amazing thing. There's a jet for the cars. Yeah. Yeah. They have a separate plane or boat or something that just brings their cars with them. There's a jet for the cars. Yeah, they have a separate plane or boat or something that just brings their cars around because their cars are so great.

Anything a rental car agency has would be a huge step down. Yeah, for sure. That would just be so sick. Bring your whole gym with you. Bring everyone you know. That guy's like, oh, it's going to be a huge nightmare at customs. He's like, it's gonna be a huge nightmare at customs he's like

not for me like yeah i own the airport all the cool shit you can bring these guys are bringing cars and jets and stuff taylor's like imagine like my dumbbells follow me around well you know it's just one adjustable dumbbell because let's not get crazy there's always those kind of people that are like uh yeah what would you do if you win the lottery and they're like uh i get one of those toasters with glass on the side so i can see when my toast is cooked that's a great invention okay i get it that's cool but like they have toasters with glass on the side? How much could it possibly cost? Oh, I don't know. I have a toaster oven with glass on the side,

but he sounds like he's talking about something different. A real toaster. They have air fryers made out of glass, so you can see it through the air fryer. I think they're a bit more expensive than the regular ones, but that would be nice, like a little cheat code where it's like that is exactly

as crisp as I want it this is a $40 item that we're speaking about like it's extravagant oh fuck it no it's not extravagant I'm just saying that there's always those people that like what would you do if you had a billion dollars and they'd just buy like this fucking tiny thing

click on the ad for the $300 toaster the revolution instaglow on the ad for the $300 toaster. The revolution Instaglow. $300. This is not going as planned. We're transitioning to toasters, Woody. Keep up. He's like,

we don't see anything at all. I don't like this. So we had a coffee maker with a LCD screen like this. And I hated it. Dude, they're the same buttons in the same place all the time. Physical buttons are glorious. Physical buttons are really good for stuff. LCD screens, these touch ones, are good for your phone.

You've got a bunch of different things you might want it to do. If it's a coffee maker, buttons, please. It's always going to be making coffee. I don't need the news on my coffee maker. It's a touch screen with in the context of cooking.

All you're going to do, it's going to look like shit. It's going to look grimy. It's going to be dirty. It's just needlessly. And it doesn't even have glass on the side. That was the whole point. Did they not know what we started talking about three minutes ago? Dude, I was on my trip. I made myself toast.

All right, cool. The toast gets stuck on the side of the little toast ejector thing. So it like overcooks and kind of burns. There's maybe a little smoke coming out the top. Maybe it came in direct contact with the heating coil. So I'm like, well, I can't leave this like booby trap for the next guy. So I have to clean it out. I unplug it and I'm working on it.

It's pretty hot. It's hot to handle. They only have plastic utensils in this freaking cafeteria. Because, you know, I'm not staying at the hilton here lower your lower your thoughts on on the quality of my so anyway um so i have these like cheap plastic utensils that get even cheaper when heated up they're bending and now there's an audience now one of the tables is mocking me for the trouble i'm having with this toaster oven. And it's like, yeah, it's a fighter, isn't it? And I'm trying to pry the bread out from the side of the little toaster oven, not oven, toaster

ejector thing, and more tables join in, right? Now there's two or three tables all watching the show of this guy trying to fix the toaster oven. And eventually one of them had the nice idea that I could remove the access panel from the bottom and maybe try it from that angle, which worked. And, you know, sometimes you just shrug your shoulders in your today's entertainment. Oh, as soon as someone noticed me fiddling with it, I'd be like, I didn't even want toast and walk away.

I had this, I didn't want to leave a booby trap. That was what it was all about. Because the next guy was surely... I would turn around and be like, you guys, you know, pay it forward. Next guy's going to have cold toast stuck in the toast. Yeah, well, that's trash.

Getting bullied at the La Quinta Inn. At the Super 8 or wherever that was. I was overstating it with La Quinta. Yeah. We stayed on good hotels if there was a show. They tend to have better internet. Yeah. After a while, the pattern recognition

kicks in. Even if your pattern recognition isn't that good, you're like, I see. If it has a door that leads to the parking lot, bad internet. If it's more door that leads to the parking lot, bad internet. Bad, bad internet. If it's more than two stories, good internet. Yeah.

It's like you never see serial killers in a Marriott, I would imagine. It's always the place where you can just kick the door right down. No protection. The ones like Catch. The ones like Catch. It's always one of those ones with the windows straight into the parking lot. You walk past, there's a crack, and you can just see some dude fucking some

death-addicted whore or something. I'm like, how many serial killers are actually in hotels? There was that Vegas dude that shot into the crowd with the bump stocks. But he didn't kill anybody in the hotel. You're like all the victims were outside the hotel i don't even know if that's true i bet he did kill people in the hotel i'm counting it

at least once no he shot himself well that's one kill in the hotel that counts i i agree i didn't know he didn't have something set up on like one of the carts outside or something or was that maybe that was a camera i don't know yeah i i don't know um i don't remember anymore i never found anything out about that shit yeah i'm pretty sure we got lied to about that because that guy was some sort of a brainwashed fucking cia operative or something mk ultra little ted kaczynski action little mk ultra actually ultra everywhere. They experimented on people with LSD to try and,

you know, control people's minds. Yeah. It's like, it turns out that really fucks them up when you put that much in there, dude. I was talking about conspiracy theories with Jackie today. The problem is 1% of the time.

It's real. Like, like whatever that percentage is, you make it up on your own. But you want to dismiss every jackass who's like, ah, they put bricks at the BLM riot so that they would break more windows than they would otherwise.

Nah, those bricks were always there. It's on Google Maps. You can see whatever, you know, there's construction projects. Those weren't even bricks. That was just broken up concrete or whatever. Like they didn't actually put bricks. It got disproven time and time again.

All right, cool. But sometimes CIA did do this shit. Sometimes the FBI was involved in this shit. Sometimes they did pass laws in an effort to target someone by race. It makes it hard to dismiss

all these theories. Taylor played this whole video the other day for us on the discord and it was like every time alex jones was right and it's like alex jones dancing to a montage yep right again you know it's him saying the most absurd thing you've ever heard right like things like the water was making the frogs gay. But then it's followed by a report about it actually making the frogs transgender or something like that.

It was like 10 different things that he had been like, oh yeah, there's this ring of pedophiles in Hollywood and they've got an island where they go to have sex with children and everybody's just like pointing and laughing and like, Alex Jonesones make another makes another outrageous claim today blah blah blah and then it's like and then it's just like news rolls of epstein island and all

of the hollywood pedophiles getting found out and alex jones is dancing more and what they don't show is like the 15 hour compilation of all the absurdity that's like that never gets yeah exactly because like it's easy he's right sometimes and I'm like yeah but like if I held a handful of darts and pegged it at a dartboard I have a

chance of getting a bullseye if I lied to you 90% of the time sorry I thought there was a break there if I lied to you 90% of the time then you would I thought there was a break there. If I lied to you 90% of the time, then you would think I was full of shit. Not I was right every so often. What is his magic? But that's the way it works.

It's like confirmation bias. It's like they look back and they're like, the pedophile island, he called it. But they don't think about like someone being a cannibal. I'm making that up. And I'm sure he said someone's cannibal. Or, you know, Sandy Hook being fake because that was real. Yeah, see? That doesn't get brought up

as much. Or I guess that got brought up a ton at the time, but not anymore. Don't say it's not or they'll sue you. Well, of course it was real. Of course it was real. Yes. Yeah. We're all in complete agreement. I don't know why we're still talking about it was real

yeah i said like a lot of people like talk about that kind of shit and it's like uh but they i don't i hate it when they're like they're caning like the the victims families because it's like even if it was organized by the government like people still died so it's like and it probably wasn't like john smith's fault to have these like he's it wasn't his decision to be like i offer up my daughter it's not the fucking x-files like yeah he's like that construction worker with the kid there it's like he's in on it he's in on it yeah yeah he was no he gave up his daughter like it's like why are you harassing this poor motherfucker like i like the x-files reference i like that a lot yeah yeah yeah i know me too i've seen every episode many many many times i've

watched it through so many times this is my favorite it was my favorite tv show as a kid i was far too young to be watching that shit i've watched i was talking to my wife about this the other day i i the theme song like plays like really hard into my head because when I used to hear it when I was a kid it'd be past my bedtime and I'd sneak out of my bedroom and I'd stand in the doorway of the lounge room just like real quiet and watch it while my parents are watching it and I remember

one time my mum like turned around and I was just like hovering in the doorway like the fucking children of the corn and she like screamed just like chatted back like what the fuck is this child like the fucking children of the corn and she like screamed she's like like I remember watching children of the corn when I was like maybe eight too young and like even then thinking

like well I'd be safe in this movie like they wouldn't attack me like I could be a scout in the film did you guys have no chance did you guys like believe in monsters as a kid like um and if so like what what got you what was the thing like forest ones was it ghosts because everybody can almost remember a time they like thought they saw something or like and something like i think k, you've dealt with sleep paralysis before, right?

No. I mixed that up. You saw something spook. Anyway, I'll let you guys go. I was always afraid of aliens because I watched so many shows about aliens and stuff. Fox used to have these... I don't know if you remember the alien autopsy special that Fox played one night.

It was an hour-long thing about an alien autopsy. And they played an alien autopsy as if it were real. And I watched a lot of shit like that. I watched Fire in the Sky. I watched The X-Files, like I said. And it was one of those things where even when you would speak to adults as a child, you ask them, hey, is the boogeyman real? They'd be like, fuck no. Of course there's no boogeyman. But if you ask them about aliens, every adult has to be like, I mean, probably not. But like, I mean, honestly, we just don't know. You know, it's a big universe.

You've seen Star Trek and you're just like, fuck, that is not the answer I need. Your parents didn't just shut that door for you and say no? What, lie to me? No. That's what my parents did. I remember when i was like five uh i thought i was so cool in kindergarten because i was the only kid who i was for sure who knew that santa wasn't real because i asked i'm like is santa real and i

was like in kindergarten mom's like no your grandparents bought you those oh shit it was like oh what a fun childhood did you have stuff that said from Santa? Yeah. When I would see that on TV, I was like, oh, people really do that. So the tradition in my household was on Christmas Eve, parents and relatives gave you gifts. So Christmas Eve, like everyone would come over or we'd go to grandma's house and the gifts would come from people. Those were the people gifts. And then but Christmas morning when you woke up, Santa has come and he's brought you all the shit that's under the tree.

I like that. Yeah, and that would give dad time to get up early and put the train set together or the trampoline or whatever the fuck. Did you see an alien? No, I've never seen an alien or I would have killed myself long ago. I mean, did you think you saw one when you were a kid?

No, I'm not stupid. No. Taylor asked about the monsters you thought were real. Yeah, dude, I'm old. So in the late 70s, back when I was six or something, they bombarded you with this idea that there were monsters under your bed and in your closet all the time. And it wasn't like just your parents. Like I learned to read at school and all the fucking books were about the monsters in your closet and under your bed. And people like coming to terms with the monsters who were, you know, like I don't know, lining up to attack you at night.

And how kids learned to befriend the monsters who were in your closet and under your bed. And all the things that you might do with them. Some got killed by the monsters in your closet and under your bed. Some were able to work out some sort of tree. Only the ones who didn't learn to read, though. Yeah. So I was terrified of monsters in my closet and under my bed. It was just everywhere.

It would work today. If they hit you with enough of this disinformation strategy about monsters in your closet under your bed, you might have your suspicions. The Sandy Hook scenario, yeah. Yeah. I'm all industrialized in Woody's closet. It's like,

they can stop 99, but you'll be sodomizing woody tonight i remember that watching monsters inc i was like this is a mean spirited business model nobody's winning here i guess the monsters won the the green guy with the ghoulish face not like mizowski the other one i was never actually afraid of any monsters because we had guns and like especially in the woods because like i had spent so much time as a child alone in the woods with a rifle um that that like after a while like oh i hear something oh it's a deer let me just kill all right he's dead like like you'd see you'd see what

all of the noises in the woods were up at 25 in a tree spending like every like fall, you know, up in a tree every day. You'd be like, oh, OK, that's a coyote. That's a fox. You'd see all the animals. The critters would come out at night and you see there are no monsters out there. Probably. Are there any woods noises that do concern you? Like you mentioned coyote.

That sounds a little scary. Yeah. The scariest noise you can hear. You just hear like, ahhh! Close. Hearing people in the woods is scary. When we were on our little survival trip in Curahee, we heard those

people and it was like, I don't like that. I don't like that. There's nothing out here that can hurt us. Literally, there's nothing in the Georgia woods that can hurt you. Maybe a tick could give you Lyme disease, a copperhead could bite you, and then we got to go to the emergency room that's 30 minutes away. Mosquitoes.

People can do awful things. One of my mates has got 500 hectares up in the middle of nowhere, and we're fucking around up there shooting and stuff like that. Then you in the middle of nowhere and we're like fucking around up there shooting and stuff like that then you hear like yelling and stuff and you're like okay we're gonna get molested here by hillbillies like we're in the middle of fucking nowhere like i couldn't even imagine how much 500 hectares is. It's pretty fucking massive. You can shoot a.223 at

a 45 degree angle and it's probably... It's still going to land in your hectares. 10,000 square meters is a hectare, I think. How many acres is that? Yeah, that's what I'm looking at now. A hectare is 2 and a half acres.

Okay. 1,235 acres, Zach says. Thank you, Zach. That's a lot. That's quite a lot. It's a big place to land. I mean, it's not like cattle ranch huge. This is just for his cabin.

Yeah, for sure. That's a lot for a cabin. Yeah. his cabin yeah that's a lot for a cabin yeah yeah is is property like when you get out into the parts of australia that are like like not populated is that is that property cheap well this one was he's uh so they brought it off like nature conservation so there's a lot of where i am it's like uh the old forests and stuff like that, the nature conservation efforts, they'll be like, you can buy this,

but you can only build on like 1% of it. And then someone, they'll sell it to someone really cheap on the stipulation that they never, they only build on like 1% of it, but 1% of it, you can build like a super mall because it's like, it's like 1200 acres. Yeah.

1% of 1200 acres is 12 acres which is a lot of building yeah yeah but it's not enough to like fully yeah like run like roads through it and shit like that like you can't right but like you can build a large mall a mansion must be like a quarter of an acre like 12 12 acres is outrageous. Yeah, yeah. I think it's just set up to stop people running just like fucking trillions of houses through it to sort of preserve it. It's like right on the edge of a lake.

Could you buy like 1,200 acres in the middle of Australia? It seems like that should be a little more than worthless and something you could get. Not that there's a lake. than worthless and something you could get. Not that there's a lake. Well, it depends. Some of it's pretty – it's pretty madness. It's great for old driving and stuff, but you couldn't – yeah, it depends.

Now it would be more expensive. You can get property in New Mexico for $800, $900 an acre. So you could get 20 acres for $9,000 if you want it what are you gonna do in new mexico oh you're gonna die out there because there's nothing to there's no there's no food or water because it's yeah yeah i think um i i think it'd probably be worth like 500 000 like what he's got now probably probably more than that yeah it depends yeah like where it is if like the the stuff right next to the lake would be worth a lot more but the uh the stuff inland would be pointless because it snows and it's hard to run like trails and stuff like to run a road there you just need

a bulldozer and you just like plow through the trees and then like every winter it just gets fucked up and i'm on Google Maps looking at Australia. You're like, oh, cool. A lake in the middle of Australia. Then you switch it to satellite view and there's no water in that lake. You purchased a hole. You purchased a temporary lake. That's not what I call a lake.

If you use your imagination, you can imagine a lake. This is a lake here a month and a year. When I say Australia this is Tasmania so it's a lot greener like it's not like desert like the middle of like Alice Springs that place is a fucking

dust bowl like that place is a that's like New Mexico whereas Tasmania is like very green the Pacific Northwest kind of era of australia not by direction yeah it looks a lot a lot more like uh like colorado maybe uh it's just very green like uh danish has my essay where's tasmania uh bottom right it's an island yeah oh is there a lot of people who are tired of the dust bowl who moved to uh tasmania or is it like not a lot of people move there i think it's getting more and

more popular because it's like one of those like oh let's get away from the hustle and bustle and and ruin something else mania looks super cool based on satellite photos is that where you live yeah so i live in uh hobart down the bottom right and all right how cold is it there in the winter uh usually it's like it's gonna be four or five degrees celsius yeah it is the way it is. Freedom units. That's still cold. It's still super cold. If it gets down to 4.5, then that must be like 40?

Maybe. Add 32 and double it. Double it, then add 32, I should say. This sounds nice, actually actually i like this you live in a nice place i think i'll move there i'm concerned about the uh bandwidth though that's it's a big thing seems to be i'd be even worse to tark off if i played in tasmania oh we actually so we have um okay we get tested for like all of the rollout of uh like government projects and shit because we're like the small state they always test it on us so they're like oh yeah

we'll roll out like gigabit fiber in tasmania because there's like fuck all people there and so all of us are like sitting here like watching fucking stepsister incest porn on our fucking one gig down connections in ak you're really selling tasmania to me i'm i'm all in honey we're moving yeah how much i was thinking about like i know obviously depends like how much or what is on your lands but like how much do you need to like be self-sustaining if it's like let's say 10 people like you do you need like a stream you need a lake do you need a forest how much land would you need to farm like i was wondering that do you do you have any any knowledge on that at all like like obviously like 10 acres probably couldn't do it

yeah i have one i think you'd be surprised because i have a mate who's really into that stuff and he has like a tank that's got like trout in it and then he does like aquaculture like growing growing uh like fucking uh herbs and and uh food for him and his wife and it's not very much room and it seems as though he's like completely self-sufficient but the he doesn't have like cattle so he doesn't have red meat, but he has chickens and stuff. I think that once you get to sheep and cattle and stuff, that's what takes up a lot of the land. Does he have a way of making money?

Does he have a way of making money? Yeah, because he doesn't get anything. Not legally. Not legally. You mentioned his income source. He has a job outside, but he just grows all of his own food and all of his own herbs and stuff like that. Herbs.

Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, like basil and stuff. Yeah, yeah, sure. Like basil. It looks like basil. You know, you want to have like oregano pizzas and stuff you know definitely not something you want through the mail um imagine don't send a regular people through the mail again yeah but he's but he does all that and it's not actually that much room like he's he's he does quite well with a little bit of room but he's really good at

it though like he has like greenhouses and stuff and he'll be like oh do you want some do you want some fucking pesto i have like 95 pounds of pesto what are you gonna do that he's like i don't know just freeze it and then i'll have pesto for the rest of my life just so he's taking care of like one ingredient at a time all right it's noodle season so i don't know how he does it because i never grow anything like i planted uh i planted some stuff and it was all dying and then we got the dog and then the dog dug the fuck out of the garden and all the plants were like laying on their side and then all of a sudden they started growing so i assume he did something right but i have no fucking idea what it was i'm a terrible farmer but the dog is good yeah the dog was greater and then it got to winter

and then they all fucking died so i have no idea what's going on i feel like being self-sufficient like that would be if it's your jam and that's what you're really into fine but like if it's something you're jumping into i can imagine like it'd be fun until it's like day 400 and you're just like i i hate myself i hate my life and i'm i have to go to the fucking carp farm again today and feed them you know roach eggs or whatever the fuck you're doing my pesto crop isn't coming in the worst part is this is actually basil I thought this would be more fun I vastly

overestimated the need in the market for pesto I'll tell you that turns out people use it on a salad once a month and i have like a fucking snack of it yeah but i asked him about it and i'm like so what's the what's the deal how do you like grow this shit he's like uh to be honest with you just plant fucking heaps and then just pull out the ones that die like because it's just a numbers game he's like yeah pretty much like seeds don't cost anything shotgun farming and yeah like tinder for farming just cast your net far and wide and

yeah and says yes the fish thing seems like a good idea because that's yeah i that stuff's a little bit more science stuff because they're like the fish eat the stuff off the plants and then shit and that's nitrate for the he's got a whole setup but he's super into that and the stuff that grows in there grows like super fast and yeah I guess now that you think about it you can't just put them in water and hope

laughing laughing laughing next four days only and they're going to be very sloth in me on day four the secret's out taylor is actually dirty's girlfriend and that's how that's how he raises fish yeah well he should not be in charge of raising fish he like uh he worked out some like ridiculous scheme where if

you could if you could open up as, like, trout fishery part for people to fish in, then you could get a certain amount of fish from the government to repopulate your trout farm. As in, like, oh, this is a local trout fishing spot. It's just like a fucking tank in his backyard. And so he's just like, yeah, people can fish in the tank if they want. I mean, no one's ever come to fish,

but the government just gives me, like, fucking trout every year and so like he just goes there with a water tank and they just dump a fucking shitload of trout in and then he brings it home and they just use them for his aquaculture farm and then just eats them that is a good little scheme he's good yeah yeah it's like nothing someone came to fish though i'm picturing children with fisher price rods well that's what i said i was like i'm gonna rock up like wearing waders and like a fucking hat with hooks and shit on it and then show up with a net like i've never had luck like this before there's a government inspection you're putting your hat on it's like it's like a tank under his house so you just be like dropping a fucking

like fishing line into this like hole that's like this big and just be like oh i can reach in there with his hand and just like grabs him so it's like yeah i don't think it'd be they populate lakes with fish where they fly that plane over. I can't believe that they live. It seems like a brutal fall. I guess they're made to- To fall from the air into the water? Your theory is fish are built for dropping from airplanes? No, obviously not.

Is that an illusion? I'm making up my theory right now as I'm talking. And it is that the fish are built to slice into the water. And so we would fall to our deaths. But because they're so – they just fire right in and it probably just wakes them up. They write themselves like cats at the right angle. It's aerodynamics. Don't you understand? Yeah.

I don't understand. Then immediately becoming hydrod Don't you understand? Yeah. Immediately becoming hydrodynamics. I wonder how significant the differences are between those. I don't know. Would a wing that generates lift have to alter very much at all to be ideal for water?

I don't think so because they have those hydrodynamics exactly the same you know that's that on the cavitation have you seen those hydrofoils that like make the craft like like basically like levitate above the water because there's like basically an inverted wing like going under the surface yeah those are cool oh it's neat there's um there's more resistance in water but when you do like uh as far as i know i'm not a physicist but as far as i know when you make something uh it's liquid uh what's the what's there's a certain type of science but it's like pretty much the same acceleration uh so yeah all those things aside from uh i think uh cavitation where like you uh like propellers where they have like fucking uh they cause bubbles in the water that like

fucks up stuff underwater you don't have that in the air uh there's some other differences too you don't need big wings it has to do with the viscosity and something called a Reynolds number. My friend tried to explain it to me, but I wasn't smart enough to understand. But he has a master's in fluid dynamics, and he's a paragliding pilot. So when the air blows over a mountain, it behaves similar to the way that water would flow over a rock. But to him, the minute differences are very important important and it's actually a pet peeve that you know when anyone says oh imagine it's water he's like no no no nay nay nay i was i was uh i'm sorry for being the layman my bad

yeah that's a reynold for correcting me cheers i think i have that right but yeah he would go bonkers on this and then and i'm like all right all right tell me how water moves differently than air and and then he did and he laid and i was just like yeah so you're saying it's pretty close that's one of those like things where like you're three minutes into his explanation you're like like, yeah, okay, cool, cool, yeah, is it? Huh, cool, I agree, I agree. I agree. It's the Reynolds number. Yeah, you're absolutely right. The Reynolds number in fluid mechanics is a criterion of whether fluid

flow is absolutely steady or on the average steady with small and steady fluctuations. Okay. Interesting. Why does he have a master's in fluid dynamics? What does he do? What he does now, it's a pretty cool job. I don't want to super docs him, but he works for a major mountain climbing company and he designs mountain climbing gear, which is one of his passions. Oh, like clothing or? company and he designs mountain climbing gear, which is one of his passions. Oh. Like clothing? No, think like carabiners. Yeah, carabiners.

In the mountain climbing world, maybe you have other hot... There's always another doohickey that will help you reload a little better, that will help you do this or that. They'll get ideas either from themselves or from customers. Like, you know, when I put a nail in a rock and it jiggles a little bit,

I wish there was a better way to solve this problem. So that's what he does. Okay. That's really interesting. Good for him, parlaying something that specific into something he actually likes. Yeah. So yeah, he just sort of grew up mountain climbing. I think he would describe himself as an ex dirt bag. A dirt bag is someone who like buys a van showers now and then, and lives for mountain climbing, you know,

like at the bottom of the Hill doing that. So he was actually, he's so modest. It's hard to get a grip on how good he was, but I got the impression he was like a top one percenter, but that doesn't make you the best. It's just, you a grip on how good he was, but I got the impression he was like a top one percenter, but that doesn't make you the best. It's just, you're in that crowd. Did he design those tents that mountain climbers will sleep in when you're hanging?

I don't know if he's designed them, but he slept in them a ton. Like he was talking to me. He once spent two weeks attached in basically life or death like situations climbing a mountain with the dude he hated yeah so there's like a social problem and a climbing problem that they were working on together fuck that that's one hobby that like like like that's the one that i'm just like not interested in at all the mountain climbing especially after watching that alex uh hanault uh documentary where he climbed k2 uh that looks so terrifying i i don't want any part of mountain climbing like all the other extreme sports i'm

like oh yeah you kind of you hook the thing to your truck and you go to the place and you do the thing and then that night you go home and this is, on day two, that's when the storm front came in. We had packed no toilet paper. Don't worry. We were sleeping in burlap sacks suspended from a rock. I can never sleep in that because I have that thing where you do something and then you never quite trust that it's right. You put a bumper on your car or something and then you're constantly like

checking those three bolts that you did up and then not worrying about the other 90 000 bolster in the car that are probably rattling loose because it was assembled in thailand it's a weird thing when you're like trusting your life to a piece of equipment like like if you ever been like attached to something like like or uh up high like when we went ziplining for example it's like all right this this carabiner is life and death this is it if this fails i die and it's click well i hope it works i mean this is okay that's fucking weird i could do that how could you sleep during that it's like yeah i can relax so much i can get some disease which is going to be really essential because tomorrow i'm once again risking my

fucking life climbing up the side of a mountain just holding the b-pad machine up there sounds exhausting i roll out of the bunk beds like i'm gonna wake up and just like, huh, it's cold out. How was your recovery from that? Did you not make it back to 100%? No, I've got nerve damage in my upper glute on this. I can feel it. It's not like where you sit down. It's like above that, closer to the hip. But like, yeah, it's-

Would you call it two years ago this happened? Yeah, yeah. I've said before, it outlasted their entire marriage. Yeah. That's my favorite part. That's like, you wouldn't have lasted in prison because new guys get top bunk. Bottom bunk is a seniority thing. You've got to be there for a while to get bottom bunk.

I would have had to go to like protective custody. Be like, no, I mean i mean i just i need to be bottom bunk okay what do i have to say okay fine i'll kill myself all right you would have had so many packs of tuna to get that bottom yeah i would have i would have woken up on the first night like that kind of oz getting branded with a swastika on his ass todd's bed yeah so the nazi would have looked and been like, this guy's ass is just trash. Does anybody look like someone's block?

There'll be another new guy tomorrow. There's a bunch of other white boys that can be the Aryan fuck toys. This guy's gross. That's my prison defense, just having an unpleasant right ass cheek to look at. And the hair. That's my prison defense, just having an unpleasant right ass cheek to look at. Yeah, yeah. And the hair.

That's true. Do you guys all prefer the bottom bunk? Oh, yeah. Top bunk, yeah. Bottom bunk only. Kyle, why? All right. So I had an opportunity to move to the bottom bunk after a while because my cellmate moved to somewhere else.

And people were getting shuffled around occasionally. And it was like, ah, bottom bunk's open. I can move down i can move down there no no first of all it's cooler up there you're closer to like like you you're closer to like the airflow you're not like down in a room you're kind of above the room and you can kind of see around if when i was sitting in bed reading my book i could kind of get a lay of the land make sure you know an ambush wasn't being prepared um and uh i guess that was that that was mostly it. I just liked being up above everything. And I kind of thought it was cool to climb up the little ladder.

The only downside was at night when you've got to get up and take a piss, I have to be like a cat burglar so I don't wake up the guy on the bottom bunk because it's one of those springy things that I'm on, and it's like from the smallest movement. So I have to like move. It would take me five minutes to get out of bed. I would move so slowly because I didn't want to wake this guy up. I didn't want him like resenting his celly. That's funny because the reason I like the top bunk might change in this situation. It's the illusion of privacy. I always feel like when every top bunk I've been in, which is like

college dorms, it's a little bit above your head. You couldn't see the flat of my bed. Even you, Kyle, who's like 6'2 or something. Maybe if you were on your tippy toes, you could just see it. It's like a tiny bit

of privacy, especially if you're against the wall. No one's looking at you. Whereas the bottom bunk, I feel like you're on display. Yeah, it was the opposite here. In a small room, people would... No, go ahead. People would be in a room like a college dorm where you've got the bottom bunk.

If people come in there, if you've got no room, people are sitting on your bed as well. They're just like, oh, that's just a a community seat now and it's like oh fuck off that's where i sleep like that's a good point to get your dirty jeans off i do remember that because i am sitting on a bunk in in college as well same reason and no one climbs onto the top bunk as a place to sit you'd have to scrunch under the ceiling yeah the funny thing is they told me a story about some dude who like was sleeping and rolled out of his bunk and smashed his head on the floor and how it had like cracked his head open there was blood everywhere like they told me that story and i was like i

don't do that yeah there but for the grace of god go i yeah who cracked his head open in college where I went. So this is what happened. One guy on the outside, he was a big, strong, he was a black guy. The color didn't matter, but telling the story, he's big, strong, built naturally, didn't lift or anything. He was just a huge guy. And the guy opening the door, he was being goofy, and he opened it a crack, put his head there and he goes, hello? And the other guy was going to kick the door open. It's a big, hilarious display. Well, these two pranksters had

incompatible pranks. So he kicked this door open. It's a college door, but it's the size and weight of an exterior metal door. And it cracked the dude's skull i saw the x-ray his skull was broken and uh you know they took it didn't kill him it he got a concussion he had uh headaches for a while but um uh he didn't i mean i knew he was on the swim team he didn't seem to have like any real issues outside of struggling

in school because of the concentration and headaches that happened to Kill Bill what? where she kicks that door closed on the guy's head when she's escaping the hospital I remember even like watching that scene and like you can watch the silly like

sword stuff and be like that's ridiculous and silly but like you know it's like oh oh that could happen to anybody's head in the door by just a mistake like that's realistic yeah that was very visceral when she like kicks the i just watched that just the other day yeah she just kicks the fuck out of that door it's a good movie i need to watch it yeah do you like the second one i like them both i like them them both. I never watch one without the other. I view them as one movie. They go really well together.

I think the first one is a little bit better, but I like them both. I saw the second one and not the first. I don't know if I eventually got around to seeing the first, but apparently I screwed up this scene. Oh, yeah. You're not supposed to do that.

Fair enough. Which is the one where he hits him and he's gonna die some time far from now that's the second one well that's the second one he takes five he's got the it's the five finger uh death punch right you know and they got they take five steps you know what he should he should have skipped or like is it red rover where you're like hey can i do three giant jumps on five steps i don't understand why you got up well i see like if someone did that to me i'd be like okay cool i'll just sit down for the rest of my life i'm like i was pretty much it's one step to a wheelchair and then

after that i can just sort of lift my chair lift myself around you know i wouldn't even burn one step to the wheelchair bring it to me heave me up put me yeah i'll just roll into it imagine accidentally taking steps over the course of your life like as you go from your

mobility scooter to the kitchen table you're like fuck that was one left and then it was time i took my final going back to the bunk bed i uh i always choose the the top bed and i have one reason why when i was when i was 16 i went to my mates uh, like, a farm, and people would go there. It was, like, their family sort of cabin sort of thing, but they had, like, fuckloads of bunk beds in there. And I was 16. It was, like, the first time I got really drunk

and drank all fucking night, and I fell asleep on the top bunk, like, above one of my mates. And during the night, I was so drunk that I pissed the bed and it just went through the bunk. And he's just like, it's raining. I'm like, I'm never picking the bottom bunk in case that happens to me. If you had picked the bottom, there would be no victim. You belong on the bottom, Slush.

No, no, I want to piss on him that was part of the grand scheme yeah i don't want to i don't want that to happen to me no i wouldn't need it somehow victim popped it i uh i'm going to the dmv i got a new motorcycle i need a license plate for it etc i'm on my way home and there's a guy like waving down traffic so it's like all right i'm in let's see what he's up to his car is stuck there's a there's a gravel driveway and then next to it on either side it's like a d it's called a swale but you know the big drainage ditches that might be on the side of a rural driveway. And he's stuck. And it's like, good news is, I have a lot of expertise in this off-road stuff.

He's teetering with one wheel in the air. And you can move it such that it's just balancing on the two outside tires. Or crisscross tires, I guess I'd call them. And the good news is, I have a lot of expertise in this. them and uh it's like the good news is like i have a lot of expertise in this i can help you out the bad news is i have a motorcycle i'm not towing anything out with this thing and uh so i start like helping him guiding him like straightening it up and stuff and uh i'm sitting on the the corner of his car just like hanging on it like like a i don't know angry karen on the hood or

something and uh trying to stop the car from flipping over and landing on the side and we're working at it for a while and at some point we can't get his car to move anymore and i didn't know why but it's like you know it's not going backwards and it's not going forwards it's like fuck and it was all-wheel drive it was a jeep but it wasn't like a real off-road quality Jeep. And the rear tires aren't spinning. And I didn't figure out why until the very end. Another guy comes along, asks if he can help, but he doesn't have any equipment or anything. So I just asked him to monitor traffic where, you know, this is people going by. We don't want to get caught or surprised. And another guy comes by, he has a truck and something we can make a tow rope out of.

And we've used that to pull them free. Turns out dude has his emergency brake on and that's why we couldn't drive free. I kind of kicked myself for not thinking of it, but he's the one that put it on. Yeah. He's mostly at fault. He's entirely at fault. You were being nice. Yeah. Yeah. i wish i had diagnosed why it wasn't working but um in any case yeah hung on some stranger's car and got him toad free and

it was pretty cool i don't know enough about cars and so like if i see somebody with like clear auto problem like troubles on the side of the road it's's like, man, it'd be cool if I knew enough to help as I drive by. It's like, man, that thing is a Samoan. I like that. I would want you there. Well, goodbye. I agree with your diagnosis.

Are you going to have spare parts, though? You rock up are you gonna have like spare parts though like you rock up and you're just like well I just so happen to have a dizzy cap for a 1993 Honda Accord I'm walking over with a claw hammer in my hand I'm here to help

I was on the other side of that I've told this story before so I'll do it real quick. But it was at nighttime, and this guy flags down asking for help. My dumb ass pulls over and goes to help him. And I didn't get a good view of the guy or anything as I pulled over and made that part of the decision. After I get there, he has prison tats all over his hands and his fingers and stuff like that. They're prison tats. And I'm not that worldly, but even I can identify these as prison tattoos. And I'm looking under the hood, feeling so vulnerable about this guy behind me.

And the story ends with the policeman stopped by and he's like you know what why don't you go and i'll help him from here and it's like guys i like your plan i had to i'd that happen to me and this is this is so weird you guys are gonna be like fuck off that's this is the weirdest thing ever but so i was i was driving along i had this like fucked old corolla and it had blown a head gasket and so i would essentially just drive it until it overheated and then just pull over to the side of the road and wait and then refill it with water because this is what you do when you're asean and poor but the um so i pull over it next to this uh oval uh it's like a public toilets and then like a sports ground and i'm like okay i need more water to put in this car and i'm letting it cool down

and there's a there's like this public toilet there and i go over to get water from this the tamp in there to put into the radiator and i've got like this tiny orange juice bottle i walk in there and then uh i can there's people in the public toilets and i fill up the thing i can hear them like doing their business and i walk out i'm standing at the car and i'm filling up the radiator and this dude in like a business suit walks out of the public toilet and i'm like okay it's odd thing for a dude with a business suit to just be maybe just busting for a shit, and he just stopped at this public toilet. I go back over to fill up this tiny orange juice bottle again,

and there's a cross-dresser in this toilet. This dude or woman, I don't know the politically correct way to say this, that is dressed as a woman with like an insane like 5 o'clock shadow like the least convincing drag queen ever and like shoulders like a fucking linebacker

and I'm just like they're just like filling up and they I'm just so like I was really I'm like I'm from a small town in the middle of fucking nowhere like I'm not I'd never see this you never see this kind of stuff here especially when i was younger but i'm just like quietly fill up this tiny orange juice bottle and i'm like okay i just sort of walk back to my car and i fill up the thing and and uh the drag queen drag queen who would i assume had been having some kind of sexual encounter with the business suit dude yes walks back to their car and they they open up the back of their car and me and my mates

are just standing there just like what the fuck is happening and he reaches in and he grabs out like this big bottle of coolant and then just comes over to the car and he's walking over slowly and i'm like i one of my friends is a bit stupid, so I'm like, this is going to end really fucking hilarious or we're about to be beaten to death by a fucking drag queen in the middle of nowhere. With a jug of coolant. Also with a jug of coolant. And I'm expecting like a woman's voice to,

and then it's just like, good night, fellas. I was like, the fuck is happening? Fills up our, like, radiator we call it and then just like shuts the hood and it goes yeah there you go boys it should be right and so we're like we get in the car we're all just like like obviously pissing ourselves laughing internally like trying to work out what the fuck just happened and drive off but i never i'll never judge anyone by the way how they uh look or dress ever again after being mechanically saved by uh the line the linebacker uh crossdresser that's hilarious i mean that linebacker by its cover yeah the linebacker crossdresser thing

i i don't know what to do with it either i i saw one. I was in San Francisco. I was renting a car and there's a guy in line. I don't know. Again, I don't want to be cruel. Person in line. Whatever they want to be identified as. Super masculine. Look like Robin Williams

in a dress. Robin Williams in a dress. Want, look like Robin Williams in a dress. Oh, want to fuck in the restaurant bathroom? I'd be just doing like a nanny cosplay. In my head, I'm like, what am I supposed to make of this? Am I... You just tell me what to do, and I'll do that. Would you like me to...

We're in today, sir. Yeah, yeah. If you want me to pretend that I'm buying this, here I go. Just let me know. Ma'am? Yeah, yeah. And I think we were like, we were sort of all commiserating about how slow

it was and how rough it was. And we're at the back of it and it was just... I didn't really know how to carry on the conversation. I just didn't know how to do it right. You're like, I've been here like 45 minutes and she's like, I was clean shaven when I started. We're going in that direction.

That is a fucking minefield. Pardon me, individual. yeah that is a fucking minefield pardon me individual pardon me citizen what would you go with I think maybe like friend I think maybe friend works hey friend once you know their name it's easy because you just use the name What would you go with? I think maybe like a friend. I think maybe friend works. Hey, friend. Once you know their name, it's easy because you just use the name.

Oh, that would be good. Well, but don't use a pronoun if you're talking to someone. But maybe not the name on their driver's license, so you can't even look at the paperwork they may or may not have in front of them. What is your word for strength? I call everybody dude. It's whatever. If there was some guy I needed to refer to at a gas station, it be like you know hey dude like that would be my attention grabber usually man i think buddy oh that's so condescending i wouldn't know it's not no i say it in a very

nice way i'm i say dude in a nice way i can do it right but when i say buddy or pal they seem like fighting words right Right? I say man. Man is also good. That's probably the best one. The most new. Kyle, you say y'all because you're from that place. Nobody says y'all here. It's all you guys. 100% of people say you guys. Or yous. Do they say yous up where you're from?

Woody? Up in Jersey? My father-in-law said yous. Oh, yeah. Just you Jersey? My father-in-law said use. Oh, yeah. Just use, not use guys. Just, hey, use. He would say use guys too. Yeah, he's from North Jersey and people say that there. But to me, it stood out

like it would to you guys. No one in my circle said that. I like the mate thing. I wish that we'd adopt some of that. Mate's a bit different, though. People don't say mate unless they want to fight. Mate's like... the mate thing i wish that we'd adopt some of that i i watched it but it's a bit different though like people don't say mate unless they want to fight that but my mate's like mate's like the buddy it's like condescending yeah like but is it also like buddy and that you can say it well like taylor feels like he says buddy properly yeah you can say like oh come on mate but if

you're in a bar and someone's like being annoying yeah listen here mate and then that's like we're 100 about them if you say listen here mate to someone it's like you are it's it's more like if if i said if i said to if i said to someone in a bar, I'd be like, oh, come on, cunt. That's normal down here. People don't care if they get called a cunt. If I go, come on, mate, then that's like I'm getting sort of sick.

And if I go, listen here, mate, it's like the next thing you do wrong, I'm going to punch you in the fucking head. I would get it totally wrong. If you said, listen here, mate, I'd be like, clearly we're friends. Yeah. totally wrong if you said listen here mate i'd be like clearly we're friends american guy was like i was like i was like look i kind of like you mate but you need to do and he was like oh we're mates and i'm like no no that's my way of saying shut the fuck up you're annoying me when i say when i say listen here mate that's like yeah you're like one step away from me like physically assaulting i didn't know that about me i knew that like if you are being rude in a bar

and you're like hey buddy you're holding up the line yeah that's aggressive and that's yeah yeah that's yeah man is probably the safest best one i use that sometimes yeah hey man unless they don't identify as a man and then you've opened a whole bag. Then you go, hey, whore. I like dude. And I don't mean to be humble. I'm not your dude, buddy. I say it well. What is the opposite of humble? Arrogant. Humble. Arrogant. Maybe that works. Yeah. But oh, the other thing that they say overseas that I would want to steal? Cheers. I like cheers.

I like it as a way to end an email. I like it in general. It works well with mate? Yeah. It does. I use cheers and mate a lot. It's good. If you use cheers and mate here,

you're pretending to be Australian. If I was drunk at a bar, I could totally imagine like if there was an australian guy there being like hey mike can you take a step back for me like i if i were drunk i guarantee i'd be like you'd like that wouldn't you bud then you'd be like i'm in too deep now i gotta keep it going. Oh, fuck. Is it convincing, his accent? Because it works to me.

It sounds more New Zealander. It's a little tinny. New Zealanders are a bit more nasally and tinny. It's like, plastic bag. Chuck a couple of beers in the chili bin, eh, bros? In the chili Chuck a couple of beers in the chili bin, eh, bros?

In the chili bin. That's hilarious. I like that. Do you guys call them eskies in America? No. I think you're referring to an escalator. Eskimo. Eskimo. Are we referring to Eskimos?

I like cool. Yeah, cool. We call them eskies where did esky even come from esky my i think i think it was the brand because there's a esky brand ah yeah they got in under the under the radar on that here's one all right so i've been watching this show called Mr. Inbetween. Are you familiar with it at all, Slush Puffy? No, I've never seen it. It's on FX, and it's about an Australian hitman. And so I watch it every week.

It's really fucking good. There's three seasons. I highly recommend it to everybody who's listening. It's so fucking good. But I keep getting bombarded with all of this Australian street tough slang, and I feel like I'm picking it up as I go. Do you know what dimmies are? Yeah, dimsims, man.

I don't know if Americans have dimsims. No, I had never heard of dimmies before. Is that a kind of Chinese food? Yeah, it's like these little meat pockets they're eating. It looks like fried breading over minced meat or something. They're're like little mince meat things they're giving them soy sauce sounds good yeah that well they're sort of they're because they're like um you call it you have like dim sims like i don't know which country they're from i'm gonna assume chinese but uh one of the asian countries but they're like a a wrapping of like stuff with meat uh inside it but then the ones you get from the corner shop

are like deep fried ones that are just like real scummy and they're called dimmies and so it's like a common like when you're hungover as fuck it's you call it like a grease feast like you get out there and you get like a you get a bunch of dimmies and uh and uh fucking burger and batter and go and eat that or whatever like feeling like shit dimmies are such a big part of this guy's lifestyle like they have whole conversations about dimmy he's like come on mate try a dimmy he's like nah no thanks he's like what you don't like him never had one he's like well you gotta try one he's like what's in it i don't know but it's fucking good yeah i could not tell you what the fuck is in a dimmy i'll be honest probably grand upholster

some shit like that it'd be like that costs like one cent for like a hundred of them so it's like yeah this is a meat that i'd be interested to try yeah sure i bet it's greasy though the french make horse into all sorts of foods i think i've heard i've had i tried some in japan and was it good uh it's a lot like steak it was it's a bit more uh less fat yeah i've had um um um horse uh like like uh is it sauce not sausage but like um what do you call it why am i like cured meats like like um like like you'd get have like a salami meats or yeah like you have like um like like hard cured meats like you would slice into like like circles or whatever i've had i've had that that's had horse in it but like i don't know it tasted like salt like all that shit does yeah i wouldn't want it that way i would want to try the steak like

slush was saying like medium rare yeah i want to i want to i want to taste worse i want to see a picture of me of uh venison i would like to see the horse. Venison. Yeah, that's a good comparison. I've had venison. I want to know. I would like to know its name. I'm like, who am I eating? I did have an idea for a steakhouse called the Heartless Grill where you would come in and you would pick the animal

and then they would murder it in front of you and prepare it for you. Like a lobster cage. Exactly like the lobster tank, except they've got lamb and sheep and calves. They've got lamb and sheep and calves. They've got baby horses chained to rocks. That one's super tender.

It's like, I'll take buttercup. But just one steak. I don't want to overeat. Put the rest in the garbage. Throw the rest away. Maybe have it set up so there's a shooting gallery so you can step up and then you take a rifle and you shoot whatever animal out in the range and then they take a rifle and you shoot your whatever animal

out in the range and then they just drag it in and skin it in front of you it'd be fun that'd be a horse genocide i mean that's just pretty much hunting except for rich lazy people yeah they have that too like you can go to texas and do this um this hunting where they like take you to a pen where there's a big-ass deer and you just kill it. There he is. He's overeating. He's like a pet. You can go there and shoot these pet deer who are just enormous

antlers. We're going to track him. Don't worry about that. He's trying to defend. Track him. Jerry! Here he comes. Here he comes. Welcome to Three Hoof Ranch.

And all of the horses can hardly walk. He's got a GPS collar. That's sort of what it's like killing kangaroos. When you hunt kangaroos, they're just dumb as fuck. And you can spotlight them. So you just get on the back of the truck and just like drive around with a light and you just like roll right

up to them like i remember like vividly killing my first one and we were literally like rolled up and it was like three meters away and my uncle was just like blast him he's just like standing there just like in the lot like Yeah, it's so like you didn't want to get one like like I've like fed them before like like I Met one in Texas and it would like hop up to you It would kind of look at you like you were like it was a fucking person They'd be like, you know, you got some carrots and like yeah And when you put the carrot out instead of it like biting the carrot it reaches out and grabs the fucking carrot from you like a goddamn monkey or something and it stands there looking at you

eating the carrot like all right it's not bad it's not bad you got some more yeah yeah have you seen the real muscly ones yeah there's there's one that's like uh there's a wildlife reserve so far from my house and i have this jacked one and he's just like huge like he's he that's like, there's a wildlife reserve not far from my house, and I have this jacked one, and he's just like huge. Like he's like, like I'm a big guy. Like I'm like 6'2", weigh like a lot of pounds. I don't know what it is in pounds. But he's like bigger than me.

And then he just has like this fucking enormous nutsack. And I would just sit there like looking at this thing, just like I'm totally emasculated. Like this kangaroo would look better in a tank top than me and also has a bigger cock of balls they have traps you can like see kangaroo traps it's like man other than apes i didn't know evolution gave animals traps or at least like human looking like hgh or steroid ones but yeah yeah from like the sternum up they look like a human and then their heads like they're like a very head yeah yeah it's like their arms they're like

make-believe animals there's a few animals in australia that are just like it's it it'll almost make you believe there is a god because it's like, how did that just happen? Like, like the platypus is such a nonsense animal. Like, yeah. How was that the best thing in the environment? How did it optimize? It seems like, like it's an RPG character who couldn't decide which route they wanted to go.

And so you just have a mishmash of all garbage. Yeah. Yeah. They've got like little problems on them. Yeah. For who? I, I remember going to like a, you know they're garbage yeah yeah they've got like little uh problems on them yeah for who i a i remember going to like a a quiz night one night and someone's like uh the question was like are platypus blind and uh this woman on my table she was like she was a work someone's workmate or

something that had come and she's like yeah they're blind and i'm like why do you reckon that and she's like does that go like this i reckon that? And she's like, does that go like this? And I'm like, okay. And then she's like, no, it goes like that. And I'm like, oh, Stevie Wonder.

Which is like, wait a minute. And I'm like, all right, she's off the team. It's a good answer. And I'm just like, all right,

fair enough. That's interesting logic. She was correct. I want to read this. You might have heard that platypus are venomous, but did you know that venom can also treat diabetes? Male platypus have half-inch spurs on each of their hind legs. Each spur is connected to a coral gland,

modified sweat gland, creates a powerful venom. Powerful venom. I didn't see that coming either. You know what's bullshit? Powerful enough to cure diabetes. Why are unicorns fake? In terms of animals that seem fake platypus is way higher up there giraffes are real platypus is real nor whale is just a whale with a

horn rhinos are just hippos with horns kind of and unicorns are horses with horns dude that's not more outrageous than a zebra and it's less outrageous than a giraffe like if you looked at a at a side by side of like a deer and a unicorn and you're an alien i'm like which one of these kooky creatures do you think evolved they'd be like well you know evolution tends to narrow down to whatever the most beneficial trait is and then forge that ahead so that one with all the spikes doesn't make as much sense as the singular one like like why can there be deer yeah and not just like i see where you go that makes sense i i buy it yeah it do you think maybe there were unicorns in our past and we just forgot yeah oh boy the horse will fall off yeah i mean there could have been maybe the first domesticated

horses were unicorns that's i'm i'm going with that i mean because i've seen uh cassowaries before the birds yeah yeah they're like what's it called a lot of velociraptor emus they're like so they're like a they're like an emu and ostrich ostrich it's called a cassowary and then it has like this giant fin on its head and they just like fucking headbutt shit to death those um i can't remember the emus or ostriches that are so fucking scary but but um we were fucking with one in texas and they were like don't fuck with it those things have like these like thumb claws like velociraptors and they can disembowel you they'll do like like like like teep kick where they'll like reach out and like slash you with their fucking thumb.

And the thing is big. I don't know if you ever stood next to a six or seven foot tall bird before. You look at it and you're like, alright, I know most of that is feather, but a lot of it isn't. They're fucking scary. If you could ever grab its head, I feel like he'd be in big trouble,

but they're elusive. Zach, would you share the cassowary picture? I wouldn't want to fight one. It would be a very awkward picture. The cassowaries are like that, except they're weirder. That's a cassowary. They have that horn, and they're just like headbutt

shit. They're fucking weird ass. I like that it's just there on the beach with people. Apparently to that man in the background that it's just there on the beach with people. And apparently to that man in the background, it's another cassowary. All right, back to the beach. It's just like an enormous... It's got the same gobbler as a turkey.

Yeah, kind of similar. Yeah. I didn't know that was called a gobbler. How did... It's not. What is it called? sack oh a beard you're right it is the beard it's not a sack and it's not a it's not a goblin i was so impressed with your gobbler vocabulary until dickhead called me out

10 of the fan base were impressed. Oh, they call it the gobbler. I see. That makes a lot of sense. It's called a waddle? Yeah, idiot. We call them beards here. Yeah, you call it wrong. No, you can't say what is the beard thing. That's not fair.

That's angled pointed Googling. Confirmation Googling. Oh, that's the beardling confirmation googling oh that's the beard you're right that's the beard yeah that that little uh tuft of feathers on its chest is the beard and then the the red gooey thing is a waddle okay yeah what's a snood why is that it says the word snood there i think the snood is the thing that there's a little fleshy thing that comes off the top of their beak and dangles down. Ah, yeah, that thing. It looks like a fucking weird tumor. Yeah, it's like a little nose clip.

They love when you rub it. Have you ever gone turkey hunting? I've never gone it first. Yeah, you gotta expose it. It gets bigger the happier they are. Most guys don't even know where the snood is. It's right in the front of their faces. Yeah, it's right there in the middle

on the top and they can't even find the snood. I don't even know if the snood's real. I hear you. Okay, Ben Shapiro. Seems like a myth. There's no such thing as a snood on a turkey. No, I've never been turkey hunting because it seems so fucking

stupid. Because first of all, once you've killed a turkey, the meat is terrible. It's super dry and not good. The turkey at the grocery store is infinitely better than what the turkey would shoot and eat. And then the other thing is the trophy that you keep after you've killed a big turkey is like it's it's it's the beard it's that it's that fluffy feathery thing on its chest like they'll take that or it's uh or sometimes

they'll do like a full body mount but that's super because it's expensive and so like i've never understood it because when you kill a deer it's like you've got like a freezer full of meat for one thing. But also like you get the whole head mounted for like, if I remember correctly, it's like $300 or something to get like a whole deer head mounted. And, you know, the antlers are the thing you're going for. You know, there's ways of scoring like antler size based on like how many points and diameter and how wide they are on the inside and such. There's a whole scoring system that we've tried to get to. If you could hunt people

and mount them as trophies, what would the trophy be? And if it's head size, how long would Taylor last in this world? I don't know. Slush and I seem like we're in the same camp here. I have a gigantic fucking head.

I feel sorry for my mom's busted vagina after I come out of it. Just ruinous. And I was like, if it's beards, they keep too. Slush is a god. Imagine the trophy you've grown for somebody there. I don't know.

I've just got some asshole like Kyle just be eating me. This is dry as shit. This guy had a terrible diet. As he's dying, this died for nothing. I'm going to go all the way. I don't know. I like him.

He tastes slightly of Cheetos. Back out with the dogs getting torn apart. These are my haters of both. That is the biggest argument against turkey hunting is that the meat is just ass compared to even other birds you can shoot. Pheasant tastes better.

Dove tastes better. I'd rather go domesticate a chicken hunting in someone's yard. Because then you could at least fry it up. They put up no fight. I'm going to tell you right now. I've shot a lot of domesticated chickens and they just... I killed one with a machete. It didn't fight. Well, you

eventually killed one. I eventually killed one with a machete. I'm pretty sure it got tetanus from the blade and died before the wounds took was the that was one of the most gruesome things i've ever seen and i and i've watched those like islamic state beheadings it was hard to do well it was really hard yeah um we used to like take them and like put them out in the field at like 500 meters and just shoot them with long-range rifles because they go poof and it's like you it's like a when you you tear a pillow open in the movies

and there's just a big poof of feathers. They just explode. And they won't go anywhere. That's something. At 22, down at the farm, you'd have just a trillion roosters and they'd just become really annoying. So they'd fight each other

and then they'd start coring fuckloads because there was heaps of them. And so they'd wake you up. And so one morning and it just gets to the point where it's just like okay the roosters are becoming annoying and then we'd just be sitting there eating breakfast just capping fucking roosters with a 22 so what did you say they were coring there's a word that's what coring is yeah or like you know like come on, come on. You know, like that fucking... Just the noise. I don't know. What do you call that?

Roosting? I don't know. I don't fucking know. I don't know either. I have no idea. They just go crazy when there's shitloads of them. They just fight each other and it's just fucking annoying. So you just go and crazy when there's shit loads of them i swear like they just fight each other and it's just fucking annoying so you just go and cap them all and then you can eat them if

you can be bothered how do you turn sir bulls like if there's a this is this happened to me a lot last month there's a bull in the middle of a dirt road and i want to be on the other side of him so i'm like hon my horn, driving him around. How close did I come to dying? It depends on his personality. Honestly. How close were you? Some of them are super sweet.

You can walk up and pet some of them. Some of them seem to be just assholes. Cattle actually have personalities i found so some of them will be pieces of shit and some of them will be like really like gentle and like friendly like like when i was a kid like we had this cow named bakala and like my dad would like sit me on this cow's back and she'd like ride her she'd like walk around and like let me ride her but then i've also seen i saw a cow like

attack one of my dad's friends and nearly kill him in a pen one time like just like put like he's like sitting on his butt in a corner covering up and she's like grinding her head into his like body couldn't beat a cow they're unbelievably strong and big i could i studied brazilian I studied Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, asshole. I can beat you. No fucking way. This cow's carotid is just huge. He converted from a heel hook to a hoof hook. Put that thing in there. You're talking about like a 12, 1500 pound animal.

I mean, you know. I think you break your fist punching it. I punched one before it hurts. It hurts real bad. They don't even notice. They're made out of leather. They're made out of leather. If you punched a cow like that, if it was a real dumb cow, they can read if you're being aggressive,

but if it was a real idiot and it wasn't looking as you hit the bone on the side of its jaw, be like, oh, he's being affectionate. He's trying to... Kyle, you hit the nail on the head with the personality thing like oh he's being affectionate yeah he's trying to and probably hit the nail on the head with the personality thing i all the cows on my grandparents farm were always super chill probably because when i was very little they wouldn't let me around any of the the dangerous ones uh but he had bulls too and there was one more than these two but one in particular would like he could like coax it over and it would come and like turn its head even like

expecting attention and there was another one that would like it knows you're past the electric fence but it would still charge up and then stop charging like four or five feet from the fence and then kind of look at you wander around and sometimes i think it might have something to do with like whether they're trying to mate whether they're like they like get angry and like get defensive of their the cows but i know that the ones that they they have in rodeos, they just tase the fucking shit out of them, so they just hate everything. They just throw the most dangerous bulls,

and they're like, oh, this one is from the Titan and the Lunatic, the craziest cow we ever did see, and now we expect 4.1 seconds to be the longest. Cow's about to say what I'm thinking. Yeah, they put the strap on the bull's hind end that's right on its dick and it's very uncomfortable.

It's back there. I don't think it's on its balls. It's real uncomfortable and it's pulled up around its groin area and they want that off. And plus like four-legged herbivores, like deer, cow, horses, all that stuff, have this evolutionary thing about not wanting anything on their fucking back. Because evolutionarily, throughout their entire existence for hundreds of thousands, millions of years, however long they've been around, there's been big cats jumping on them

from cliff faces and stuff on their backs. They're ready to freak the fuck out. Yeah, you see that rear strap? He hates that. I'd hate that too. It's really uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm not a fan. This is a cruel sport. Oh, bull riding

isn't as bad. It's the bull fighting that's like super gruesome. Yeah, but that's only done in like Spain. And I think even like a lot of people in Spain now are like, this isn't cool. I think they outlawed it. Is it Spain where they also like threw all those animals off the top of that church every year? I didn't know about that. That's a waste. What kind of animals?

Oh, all the animals like like goats um chickens like like everything they're just splattering down to like the cobblestone like uh area below fucked up tradition yeah when i went to barcelona it was like the last month there was ever going to be bullfighting like they were ending it i don't know if it's stuck or where that is but that that's why i thought that that's where they do the running of the bulls also right or is that italy i don't or maybe they do that multiple places places. I don't know. It's in Spain. You see that running of the bulls, man.

Why the fuck would you want to go in there? You see the videos of people like... You wouldn't want to do that? People get trampled and then they're just like... Some people get trampled. I wouldn't want to do it either, Celeste. You're right. Fuck that.

That's so stupid. Kyle wants to go. It's a festival in the Mangoneses de la Pulverosa, a province of Zamora where a group of young men throw live goats from the top of a church based on local legend. Yes, you've read that right.

When you think it can't get any worse than bullfighting, Spaniards surprise you with something even stranger. Stranger is kind. That's fucked up, goat throwing. Yeah. What is, does it say what it's supposed to bring? What kind of luck?

What the tradition is based on? Well, let's, I mean, when I clicked it, like the URL doesn't work. It goes proxy error, which is interesting. I guess a lot of people are into this. Let me just go to, Let me just Wikipedia goat throwing. Long and turgid erections for the whole community.

Celebrated on the fourth Sunday of January, where a group of men throw live goats from the top of a church. The crowd below would then catch the falling goat with a canvas sheet. Oh, this is nice! The event is inspired by a legend that states that a goat, which miraculously fed the

poor with its milk fell out of a tower but landed safely okay this is a lot less horrible than i was picturing i thought they were dashing it upon the stones um the one i saw they were this is a i think what we've stumbled upon here is multiple traditions of throwing animals off of churches and the one i saw was completely different because the one i saw they didn't just throw goats they threw like any number of like domesticated beasts from a high tower and they were crushed on the streets below it's pretty fucked i like good time i mean if you're drinking it's you know but you're like day drinking in spain and they're like hey you want to go um yeah i've got this cat i've never liked you know You know you go to Pavarosa Street We got a whole bag of cats we're gonna go up

A whole bag of cats I mean cats would be fine You could like throw those at the ground and they'll be okay Quarantine football are you familiar with this No Dude It plays out a little bit like Those group MMA fights

Where like they just absolutely kick each other's ass. And at one point, one side has more competitors than the other. Zach, can you share that? And it might be Italy. Where's Florentine? Is that Italy? Probably. Probably.

Let's go with Italy. Anyway, it's ridiculous. A lot of people that play this sport are felons and they they're all tatted up, and they're tough as hell, and they hurt each other. And it doesn't even seem like football, really. That's not football. He's got him in like a fucking suplex or something there. Yeah, yeah.

I was just watching video of it, which, of course, we can't share. But there's no ball. Like, they're just straight up like MMA fighting each other, taking each other to the ground, et cetera. There is a ball, but there's only one ball in like 50 people. The rest are fighting. I forget that you guys have like,

when you're a football, it's just like, you can only push because like when we have like our football, like we're rugby, we, we just tackle each other. Like, uh,

whether you're on or off the ball, this looks scary. some people are just getting kicked the people are so scary like a lot of these i don't think these guys are like sportsmen in the way that i think of sportsmen they're just guys who like hurting yeah look at that guy that looks like it's a like a color photo from the year 115 like like that's exactly what a really good gladiator probably looked like yeah that's he wasn't jacked like he was jacked but he wasn't like ripped because he got all the olive oil and all of the fucking goat meat that he wanted like we've said that before and it's like a fun little

thing but like in the movie gladiator they were going to have uh russell crowe be sponsored by an olive oil company because that was really common back to have gladiators sponsored by olive oil companies because it's fucking italy and that's what they made and like they surveyed americans and they're like that is so stupid like and so they're like all right we're getting rid of this because no one will believe it but like it makes perfect sense like back then they were the superstars high risk high reward i guess i don't think they died that much no they didn't like you didn't want your gladiators dying because then it's like like what the fuck like okay that's a huge investment i just kept this guy alive this whole time training he's making money now. He's famous. He's my ringer, the face of

my franchise here. You don't even want him to lose really because I'm applying it to UFC, which is something I follow a lot. If you have a cash cow like a Conor McGregor, you really, really don't want him to die, but preferably if you're Dana White, win. If you got a Conor McGregor, you

transition to him into the guy who's killing rhinos and lions and stuff with a spear. Yeah, maybe he doesn't fight the young up-and-coming gladiators anymore. No, you let them do their own thing. If they died super often, then you'd just end up with heaps of untrained prisoners just fighting each other, and they'd be boring as fuck, and it'd be like if us four just started an NBA team.

Yeah. That would be a terrible team. just fighting each other and they'd be like boring as fuck and it'd be like if us four just started an nba team yeah i don't want to see me bouncing that ball and then you come up against like the the gladiators that'd be around for ages so we're just like us four just like getting dunked on by lebron and that's like oh yeah and then we die afterwards that's what they did more often is it'd be like oh titus is the super famous gladiator well we're really playing up the rematch between him and marcus so you know we don't want to do that yet but we need to bring people in okay well we got a bunch of slaves who tried to escape how about how about titus verse i don't know fucking 10 of them and they're all chained together and they're like yeah that's that's a pretty dope idea and so that's what they would do yeah just exhibition matches where it was like 100 guaranteed the gladiator that's famous is not

gonna lose and then like you're you're 100 right woody because like people imagine they were all to the death but like the overwhelming majority of professional gladiator battles they'd be like what a fight now it's one to one you gotta turn up next time to see who wins you know the and then they're like the leading ones on the card is just like conor mcgregor beating up 10 people with lupus or some shit like that yeah we put 10 christians in there with lions we're not even doing gladiators today just that would be gruesome to watch but i guess like if that's all you had and everybody thought it was normal it would be very easy to just be like yeah this is what you do i did read one one account of um when they first um uh conquered the um carage, or wherever they got the fucking elephants

from. They brought the elephants to Rome, and they had a bunch of elephants. I don't know. Dozens. And they're slaughtering these elephants. And apparently the elephants are looking toward the crowd, clearly asking for help, and the people start crying.

They're like, this was an example of the hardened Roman gladiatorial audience for once showing a bit of heart and begging for mercy for the elephants because the elephants were clearly asking them for help. Bring back the Christians. Save the elephants. You just know that was like the modern, like hippie.

They're like, bring back the Christians, man. The elephants didn't do anything to you. And it's like, man, do you want to sign this petition, bro? No, fuck you. It's written on Christian skin. Yeah.

The peace loving hippies of the day, like loved watching. They were talking about all the different ways they would execute people. Like, cause they, you know, after a while you're, you're tired of burnings or hangings or impalements and like like one guy they just like crucified and then sicked a falcon on him and had the falcon kill him and like so so slowly so slowly a falcon is just pecking his eyes and jugular until he's dead you have enough time to like think about perhaps escaping and then like a few minutes of actively wishing for death. What a horrible way to die. It goes for your eyes first because it's a bird.

And you know for a while you're dodging, right? You're like, ah, he got me! He got me! Oh no! He's quick! He's like some sort of raptor! That would be such a waste as well because you're like nailed up and every time you dodge

you're like pulling on your hands he's like oh shit dude that was a brutal way to kill people crucifixion and when they'd be like alright we're gonna uh yeah how about one person every uh I don't know 50 yards all the way to Rome like with uh

the Spart and not Spart but the Spartacus revel uh that was the third i don't know 50 yards all the way to rome like but uh oh yeah part or the spartan not spartans but the spartacus revel uh that was the third uh slave war i after watching spartacus most recently like a year ago i got into like reading about like the first and second ones and the reason you don't hear about the first and second ones is like it did not go well for the slaves like spartacus's was the first one where it was like, okay, this is going well. Eventually, that went really shit, too, because we all finished the series and they didn't

exaggerate the total desolation. You know, that's the historic one. We like to imagine that we're so far beyond that, right? That nowadays, at least we got lethal injection, or even if you look at some of the like middle eastern countries like i think stoning probably doesn't take that long to kill someone if somebody gets you good in the

head i think it's probably over rather quickly they boiled a man alive in uzbekistan in 2004 i think he was a terrorist was the water boiling when they started? It does matter It does matter Yeah, yeah, because if it slowly heats That's probably worse It's nice for a little while It's probably better for a short period

Can you turn the bubbles on? No That would be horrible Guillotines and stuff were around for like a fair amount of time because that was pretty recent because i remember reading that um the guy that plays saruman in the lord of the rings was present at the last guillotine uh execution in france whoa i was like and i was like how old is that guy and he's like i mean he's dead now but i think it was like, how old is that guy? He's dead now, but I think it was fairly recently. I mean, in the

1900s, obviously. I would love the guillotine. The guillotine, to me, is better than all of our modern ways. I would prefer guillotine to lethal injection, to electric chair, to gas chamber, 100%. It's just like, boom. We've talked about this.

Firing squad. They fuck up. First of all, they don't shoot you in the head in the firing squad. I get to pick the guy, and you have to kill him. Deal. Deal. The last one. They gave me the blank!

They gave me the blank! No! I want to be guillotined again! I want to be guillotined again! I want to be guillotined again! If you shoot him in the heart, it's not instant death. If you shoot him in the head, it's mushroom bullet. Yeah. Well, by the rules of modern society, you can walk

free. I was just watching a whole documentary about executions. Not documentary, a YouTube video. Same thing. And they were talking about this guy in England who was convicted of murdering this wealthy lady. And he was sentenced to hang. And so they put him on the platform.

They test the platform. Everything's working. They put him on the platform. Noose around him and everything. They pull the switch and nothing happens. And they can look and they can see the rods are being drawn back this the trapdoor should be falling but it won't and so they're like fuck so they walk up and they're doing that cartoon shit where they're like jumping on it next to him and still nothing happens you know it's like a looney tunes bit and the guy's

just sitting there bag on his head noose in a or head in a noose and just nothing's happening so they pull him off of it they pull the thing trapdoor falls they're like all right reset reset they put him back on there it won't go down again all right go back to yourself they work on it for a while they get hatchets out they cut they think maybe oh the the rain made the wood tight yeah they cut some more the excess wood away it's working now it's working now bring him back out still won't work they're like all right we got to put this off we're gonna have to really fucking rethink this whole process and the judge is like what you've done to this man is cruel and unusual brought him out there and tried to kill him for three and a half hours i'm commuting his sentence to a 25 year in prison sentence.

And he does, he does his 25 years and he moves to like Milwaukee out here in the U S back from England, abandoned his wife and children. Wasn't a good guy. I mean, let's be real clearly, clearly he probably killed that woman too,

but he lived out the rest of his days here in the U S in Milwaukee, man. I believe it was Milwaukee. Story would be better if it was St. Louis where his descendants carry on today. Taylor's ancestor. Lenny the Head Morrison. The Head.

I looked at this. The last one was in 1977. Woody, you're alive. The last time that he was. 1977. This. 1977. This is weird. What country was it where they did it? It was in France.

Of course. They love that. Part of their history. It makes sense. Not a bright part of history. Well, it depends on the size of the world. The French Revolution was a pretty big deal. It swept Europe.

But no, I would definitely pick the guillotine. It seems so quick and painless. And all of our modern methods seem so fucking scary. Watching that whole YouTube video, they were talking about this black kid who was convicted of murder and sentenced to the electric chair at like 16, I think. And I guess that they like to torture him.

They didn't turn the power up all the way. So he's just like, yeah. And he survives. And they're like, what was it like? And he's slow. That's the other thing. And he's just like, there was all these? And he's slow. That's the other thing. And he's just like, there was all these colors just like in a rooster's tail. And everything felt tingly.

If you've ever seen a rooster's tail, it's iridescent. It's kind of like oil and water on like a parking lot. You know, it's like that shimmery, iridescent look. All these colors like a rooster's tail. And I'm reading this like, oh, you poor simple man. It sounds like Green Mile. it is exactly like green mile yeah and uh and but they got old sparky fired back up and they they sent him back in there eventually and killed him uh i think he was i think he was 18 by the time they finally got it right or wrong however you look at it i hate it when they kill kids well you know

better them than us am i looking at it i don't know it did i was uh i never killed anyone but i was a really dumb ass as a young guy and it's like yeah you know like it just you can't judge a guy by who he is at 16. you don't even like a fully formed person then. I'm so different to what I was when I was 16. They had framed this kid. He hadn't done anything. No. Is that part true? Yeah.

He was convicted of the murder of a pharmacist he had worked for and everyone said that they got along well. They couldn't understand it. So like months and months after the pharmacist had been like... The pharmacist was like shot and robbed and uh like months later uh the police arrested the the black kid and on him they found the pharmacist's wallet with his identification and it's just like this kid's been i mean he's been carrying this guy's driver's license and wallet on him for like six months after he murdered a man.

Nobody's that slow. It was clear that the police just had it in evidence. They were like, ah, we got one. They just stuck it in his pocket. They also made him confess to some burglaries in a town nearby. This is 1915 or something. Getting to the town next door is a bit of a feat for a young boy. just cleared out all their cold cases on this poor kid yep yeah well back then i would have been like what evidence do you have and it would have been like he's black and then it would have been like

good enough yeah i watched a whole bunch of execution stuff um there was a thing about your last meal and it's a little different than what you might think like not every state provides a last meal they're just like yeah you get the same thing you got yesterday asshole and uh in texas in texas the budget is 15 dollars so it's like bucks but it's still gonna be better than what you've been having you can get you can have you know you can have bacon and eggs or something yeah i want that one like a like a grade five like kobe steak or some shit like that right yeah there's uh there's this old country song where the guy's like singing about what he wants for his last meal and it's all this stuff that's impossible to get he's like i want the rear hind leg of a giraffe of a black giraffe fried

over easy but not too greasy and he wants he wants like a Newt's eye. And like the whole song is like impossible things to get. He's like, I'm ready to go, Warden, but let me have my last meal. And like every line is just a more ridiculous thing that's going to be impossible to find. But yeah, I think Florida maybe had $40 for their budget. And then some of the states, it was just like, you name it, if we got it, we'll cook it for you. $40. Come on. Give them a break.

In Texas. And then some places just don't do it. If I was in Texas, I'd get fast food. You can get more. For $15, you can have quite the meal. What's a crime that you shouldn't get a last meal? Where they're like, you're going to die hungry. I don't think so.

Raping a kid. That's good. That's ironic. I like that. Yeah, raping a kid. No, I think you should get your last meal no matter what. Why? I don't know. Because it's a decent thing. Yeah. Yeah, but they're not a decent human if they do sound

fucked up like that. Yeah, but we're not lowering ourselves to their level. I am. I'm happy to. Speak for yourself. I'll do it. they don't sound fucked up like that. Yeah, but we're not lowering ourselves to their level. I am. Speak for yourself. I'll do it. I don't give a shit. If they rape a child and we don't give him a free meal, we are not on his level. What if the child was asking for it?

What if the child was cute? Now you've introduced a new element. What was the kid wearing? Them sexy kids, mate. They made me do it. Them sexy kids, mate. They made me do it. Them sexy kids. Devin Spacey puppy over here.

Epstein defense. They got milk hormones and the kids are growing tits sooner than ever and they're too hot. I ate too much cash. I watched a YouTube video on the guillotine thing and then uh people still being lucid after they get beheaded and they had like a guy that did a study on it and he would like he was holding this dude's like head after it was like detached from his body and he was like his study was to

like yell this dude's name and then like apparently like five seconds after he was like yelling this dude's name i assume he's french so he's just like john john apparently this guy like opened his eyes and would like focus on him like five seconds after he's headed come on you know what's funny i presented that as a study to kyle and woody at one point and then they ripped into me for it. And now hearing you say it, I realized how absurd I sounded. And he's fucking,

and he's absurd. It's fucking, of course it's absurd. How would you know what, like, but like, he looked at me. You're holding his head,

your hands, Bob. He doesn't, he can't turn his head. He looks at where... Now he's looking at me. Oh, look, Bob. He's winking in Morse code.

Look at him. He's like, shut your hand up. He's dirty. I'm alive. He wants to give you a blowjob, John. That's it. Look at him. Look at him! Get him off me!

Get him off me! No! Anyone got any applause? Please take your uncomfortable. No one's going to stop this! We've got an eccentric executioner, but he always drops in. You are all witnesses witnesses this man raped me he was holding it

he said that his metric was that his eyes focused on him like he was looking directly at him it's rudimentary if I were if I were that guy on him like he was looking directly at him but i it's rudimentary like yeah if i were that guy with the hunch if i were the guy that's like i'm gonna prove this like there's no one watching over my shoulder i'd be like he did it he did oh no he's dead now he's

dead now he missed it real quick you show me time. I'll do it again next time. Yeah, that shit's wild. I want to read this. Ronnie Lee Gardner, Murderer, Utah, 2010, Firing Squad. He requested lobster tail steak and apple pie with vanilla ice cream and 7-Up. He also requested to watch the Lord of the Rings film trilogy while he ate his meal. I'm not going to lie. That is exactly what I would say. That's some good stuff. Then you can watch that bit

where they're like, the journey doesn't end here. White shark. Yeah. The guards out there, it's going to end for you, Bob. You're dead tonight, though. You're not dead, though. Can you just call in into Pippin right there

who didn't rape 13 people? He's watching the Lord of the Rings. He gets to the end, and they're like, do you want to watch The Hobbit, too? No, let's do this. Just kill me. I'd rather die. I want to go out on a positive.

It's like as soon as they destroy the ring, it's like, kill me! Kill me before they go to die! The rest of it! Kill me on the initial climax of the movie, not with the fucking weapon in the shire. Yeah, it was pretty interesting to see how the whole procedure worked. They move you from Death Row

to something they call the Death House and you're like 10-12 feet from the room where it happens and it was pretty wild the last meal thing is interesting to me because i don't what if you don't have an appetite that would kind of suck right like i feel like that's what would happen i'd want like my last meal the night before they kill me yeah it's like well he was a simple last meal 45 xanax. I'd be like, can I just have a bucket load of Valium?

That's a lot. Now I'm saving you money. Saving the state money with my final act. Yeah, my final meal is propofil and morphine. Kyle, did you want to say something? I was going to say it's very expensive to execute someone. It's millions. I think they said California had spent like $4 billion

executing people so far. That's just big government waste. It's inexpensive. They do it in Afghanistan for free. I don't know why it costs a billion here. They push gay people off buildings all the time. They stone people for

being raped. That is their move. But the deal is, if they fly away, they get off. It's fair. Dude, before it rolls off, can we cover my topic here? What do we got?

Zach, would you pull it up? I wrote next topic there with the link. LeBron James has been accused of stealing all the money from WNBA All-Star Cappy Pondexter. $60. And she went missing for two years. And here she is on Twitter. If he scrolls down, Zach, before you play this, I want to warn our sensitive viewers that this

is a black person who casually uses the N-word when she talks about other black people. That's fine. She's black. Well, wait till you hear it. Zach, would you play that for us? Zach, come on. That's it yeah I confused I know that shit that nigga tried to kill me for real I just fucking get out of the fuck I was at.

I do not fuck with LeBron James. That nigga's a trafficker, my nigga. That nigga is a trafficker. He is a fucking trafficker. He trafficked women in real time. That nigga stole all my money out of my bank account. I can't tell if it's over. No, she's paused.

She blinked. She blinked. She's alive. She got beheaded. It ain't no one. It ain't no one. It ain't no one. That nigga tried to kill me. All right. All right. All right. Do you think she's telling the truth yeah that this is clearly where lebron james gets his money from trafficking wnba all-stars yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't pay anything i would

i would be so much to keep that woman away from me so you wouldn't partake in LeBron's most lucrative business? No. Trafficking WNBA players. I don't want to fuck a six foot four. Is he going to traffic them to a full stadium? Taste of the good life, huh? I don't know where I was. It was weird. There was an audience. It was a big crowd of people. I'd never

seen anything like it before. You're like the Amazonian women from Futur futurama we just give one of me watch snoo snoo out me way i would just be pelvis crushed yeah i i don't think much of lebron james but i i don't think that he is trafficking wnba not so much stars and uh stealing the money from their bank accounts. Because if you, yeah, it doesn't make sense. That woman had no more than $3,000 in her bank account.

Let's say that she'd socked away a hundred grand of WNBA money. If you added that to any of LeBron James accounts, he wouldn't know. No, he's on pace to be a billionaire with a B. He was like the third highest paid athlete in the world last year or something. And the ones in front of him were like those international soccer or tennis stars who make ridiculous money. Oh, is it a bicycle play?

Is it a... Bicycle players usually get ridiculous amounts, don't they? What was that, Josh? Bicycle players get probably like a ridiculous amount of money. Some of them do. They get wild times. I think A-Rod got-

But the highest paid athletes are Conor McGregor because of his liquor company sale. The two football players, European football and LeBron. Those guys are in the top four. I thought an F1 driver would be one of them. I guess not. No, because Conor made $180 million, and I think the other guys are making $40, $50, $60.

Stuff like that. I don't think those F1 guys make that. F1 is so much bigger than you would think. The top guy makes... Lewis Hamlin. I've been following F1 this year and Lewis Hamlin... Oh, really? Oh, no.

No, thank you. What was I going to say? Lewis Hamilton makes $55 million a year. Is he the best? Not only is he the best, you could make a case that he's the best there's ever been. He's consistently good. good oh you know a good bit about it as well slush f1 uh i've watched it for a fair like i i've watched it since i was

a kid because i used to race uh like go-karts and stuff and that's where all like the f1 feeders come from like uh the go-kart racing so my whole family was sort of like really into it they tend not to be six three and over 200 pounds though that was that's when it yeah we so i got to like 16 and dad's like all right we can take this seriously and we can get into like car racing or uh we can keep trying for go-karts but you're way too fucking big so yeah that's so yeah we transitioned to track cars instead because uh me and my family i'm the shortest male in my family so they uh yeah so they it was kind of fucking pointless one of those giant families where it's like yeah man you're

tall it's like my dad's six seven and all my brothers are six eight it's like yeah we're pretty good though like my uh my brother won an australian championship and i came really close to winning one so it was like we were fairly good like we were sponsored by like car companies and shit like that that's awesome yeah um but we weren't like we we weren't small enough did you ever crash like did you ever have a rough crash oh hell yeah yeah yeah like fuck loads like did you get hurt uh i never got like i i had whiplash once, so I fucked up my neck. And my brother flipped his and broke his collarbone. Oh, that did... Did he recover fully, or...?

Yeah, yeah, he's alright. He just sort of, like, it just, like, rolled and then, like, landed on his, like, the seat landed on his collarbone and just sort of, like, compound fractured it. Sometimes they don't fix collarbones. I don't understand why. Wait, it compound fract fractured it came out the skin uh is it no it was is compound one the one where it comes out of the skin or compound like

a clean snap i think compound is when it comes out of this that that's what i don't know what i'm talking about but i always thought that meant skin me too yeah it was like uh entirely snapped and then there's like haine fractures, and then... I don't know. I'm not really sure. Yeah, there's compound fractures. Oh, there was some way to look this up. Yeah, it comes through the skin. A compound fracture...

Oh, do you guys have it? Anyway, it comes through the skin. That's what it means. Okay, well, it did come out of the skin, but it was snapped. But it was fully broken. Yeah, yeah. But that's yeah the worst of if i understand it right in go karts and f1 they weigh the car and the rules are around that in nascar they weigh the car with the driver in it so it doesn't matter how much well it's better to weigh less because they can distribute the weight by choice but it matters less well they say in go-karts they weigh the uh they weigh

the driver in the car so you have to be at a certain weight so there's different weight classes so you have like um like my brother won in uh it was called uh club and super heavy so it was like the the highest weight category but then like the junior ones they don't have like heavier weights so it was like it was hard it's it's a lot more advantageous to be smaller because you've got a lot less wind resistance and because they aren't like the the smaller ones aren't like geared coming out of a corner wind resistance means a lot and also you can distribute the weight a lot better for grip and stuff so yeah it's it's a pretty huge advantage what physical sports did you play or were you all racing uh rugby i'm sure

oh yeah i played a little bit of rugby and cricket and football but never like into it i was into racing but never physical that's neat did you come from a wealthy family because racing's expensive well that's sort of like coincided with like we used to, like my dad ran a fairly big like construction business. And so we had like a fair bit of money and then dad retired. And then we sort of were like, yeah, he's not going to do that. And then we didn't have as much money. So he's like, I don't really want to spend the money.

So we weren't, we weren't like turbo wealthy, but like we built all the cars ourselves, worked on them and rebuilt on the engines ourselves and shit like that. So not insanely wealthy, but not poor. Just upper middle class. You had some disposable money to spend on race cars. Yeah, yeah.

Or go-karts, yeah. Cool. That's neat. I've been following... My qualifications as an f1 fan are i've seen every season of uh what is it called drive to survive on netflix and i've started watching the races this year so that's that's where i am it's a good it's a good year there's been a lot of good races yeah yes yes so i don't hate lewis hamilton i'm just ready for a new

champion even though i just started watching it. If people don't know, he's won the last six years in a row. And I think he's won the last six Constructors Championships. So there's two kinds of championships in F1. One is the driver, which is pretty simple. And the other is the manufacturer. Each manufacturer manufacturer almost all of them or all of them have two drivers like does williams have two drivers slash puppy yeah i can

only name george russell okay uh yeah so they all have two drivers yeah uh some some also have like um like two manufacturers so they'll have like red bull and then red Bull something else. Toro Rosso. Yeah, yeah. But they are two. Which is like Bull Red. Yeah, yeah. They counted as like different ones. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, but for the Constructors' Championship,

they'd be separate. And Lewis Hamilton has won the Constructors' Championship, I think, for six years in a row. He's working on his seventh. And the Drivers' Championship for six years in a row, he was working on his seventh and the driver's championship for six years in a row. I'm pretty certain of that. And Max Verstappen is leading this year. Just last race, he went into it with a really big lead. So big that if second place got a win and he didn't finish at all, he'd still have a narrow lead.

But that's exactly what happened because Lewis Hamilton ran him off the track. He made him crash hard. It was a 51G accident. Dude's in the hospital. Lewis Hamilton's doing a celebration dance on TV. This sucks. The F1 world was kind of unimpressed with Hamilton's. I want to say it's the third time he did it. He did it to, what's the other guy's name from Red Bull? Alfonso? Albonzo? Something like that.

Fernando Alonso. Yeah, he did it to him and Perez. And I didn't know he did it to Perez. And I'm corrected, Mercedes has won seven championships in a row, not six. So thanks, Zach. Anyway, yeah, so I've been watching this year. It's actually pretty cool to get into. corrected mercedes has won seven championships in a row not six so thanks zach um anyway yeah so i've been watching this year it's actually pretty cool to get into i like how unfair it is it reminds me of tarkov in that way like oh yeah it's super unfair it's all about money man a lot of it's about money i've said this on the show before but like if you're a great driver

but you don't come with any money with a sponsor, and I'm like a B-plus driver, but someone will contribute $40 million to the team if you put me in the seat, they might pick me over you, a better driver, just because you can win more races with Woody and $40 million than you can with Slush Puppy and Talent. That's part of the deal. So there's this, like, all the drivers are trying to get into better seats. All of the like races, there's really only two or three or maybe five people who could win this weekend out of 20. And some of them clearly have advantages over the other. And it,

I kind of like the asymmetry of it. Like, yeah, this car is just better than yours. Deal with it. There's sort of, like, there's heaps of cheat. There used to be heaps of cheating in it as well. And there always is, like,

there's always something that they're doing that they're keeping on the DL. Like, the DRS shit, like, the drag reduction systems, like, that was, like, I think it was Red Bull put that into their cars and just didn't tell anyone. And then they found out, and they're just like, like the drs shit like the drag reduction systems like that was like i think it was red bull put that into their cars and just didn't tell anyone and then they found out and they're just like uh what and then they're like okay we're gonna give this to everyone and then they make it like uh make it like fine there's been heaps of heaps of them like uh i had one where the they were

listening to the radio signal to change the lights and so they were jumping the start because they could listen in and they'd be like okay go green and then these all the like half the grid would just jump the start and get a way better start and then i called them out by just having a race where they just said go green and didn't change the lights and then half their fucking cars just went fucking green they just like you're old school but that happened yeah so they i thought it was more technical than that like half the cars were literally tuned into the switch or something like that like it was like the radio they just had the radio in their ear yeah and so they were just like yeah go green and then they'd hear it and then like the dude would

press the button and this would be yeah so half of the grid was cheating and they didn't change the you know the lights are like red red red green or something like that they didn't change that there's no green light but they were all cheating so they all went it was hilarious and then there's the trickier ones like um uh ferrari i guess found a way to have like more fuel injected into their engine but in a way that couldn't be tested for or something. Secret fuel tanks. The cheating in it is outrageous

to the point where it's almost part of the sport-ish. It is. You have to be clever to have a car that follows the rules without following the rules. That's how NASCAR is, too. I think Dale Earnhardt does a podcast the rules without following the rules that's how nascar is too it was um uh i think dylan hurt does a uh junior does hey obviously not senior uh does a podcast uh and he had uh chipper jones who was a

third baseman for the atlanta braves throughout their like big you know successful years in the 90s and early 2000s and uh they were talking about um how there's a commonality there between baseball and racing with the cheating essentially or or like find neither one of them would call it cheating but you know getting advantages in the game and i know in nascar they did all kind of all sorts of crazy shit um with fuel especially because getting a couple extra laps out of a tank of gas is a big deal but they would have um um i didn't turn anybody down i don't understand your message um did you turn kyle down zach like because you're quiet to me but i don't think it's you oh maybe um but but they

would do things like have a bigger uh fuel lines to like store more gas in the fuel line and i i think they had a thing where they were storing gasoline in the roll cage, which seems incredibly dangerous. But in baseball now, they've got all sorts of sticky substances that the pitchers are using to the point where you grab the ball with two fingers and it'll just dangle from your fingers. It's so goddamn sticky. They have that this year, right? There's a big thing going on? Yeah, I can't remember what they're calling that new substance.

Stick'em. Stick'em. That that makes sense yeah yeah something like that traditionally they would just combine like um the rosin from the rosin bag with like suntan lotion and and like when you rub those two things together this like creamy suntan lotion with powdered rosin you end up with like a pretty viscous glue but uh But I think maybe they're using something else this year that's causing them to crack down on it a lot. I've never understood why the pitcher doesn't get something sticky, but the batter does. The batters get pine tar

to grip the bat better. You'd think the pitcher should just bring his lucky bat with him. What? What's weird about this? They get them all the time. The ump will come out there and be like, what is that?

What is what? That big brown streak behind your ear. You've got pine tar smeared behind your goddamn ear. You don't think I see you reaching back and grabbing it every time you pitch? They'll literally have the pine. And it works better for black and brown

players obviously but like some pale dude from the midwest has got this big bird looks like a bird shit on the back of his head hey come on come on like uh i've seen talk bats or some shit like that they're like hollow bats and then like you see you see someone like hit a ball and it just like splinters into a million pieces. Sammy Sosa got caught for that. You drill out your bat. You stuff it back full with cork. And all of a sudden, a bat that should have weighed, I don't know what bats weigh, 33, 34 ounces,

all of a sudden weighs 30 ounces, 31 ounces, a lot more bat speed. It's a big deal when you're talking about professional athletes who are already just incredibly good at the game. It's a little bit of an edge. It's a big deal. I've seen baseball pitchers get caught with sandpaper and that's funny, right? Because there's I'll make up numbers, 75,000 people sitting in the stands. There's

cameras pointing at this thing with millions of people potentially watching or re-watching after he gets caught. the guy's like what sandpaper nothing and he like throws it out to the side like sitting on the dirt next to his shoes like what oh yeah like cricket they they have like a big thing on like ball tampering because like when you play cricket you have like one ball and you use the one ball through like a certain amount of the innings and it sort of goes from being like you have like the one ball that's new and you can you can bowl it or pitch it as you call it america really fast and then it sort of wears down a bit

and you want like one side to be like more worn than the other so when it hits the pitch it like spins in like like i i don't know fucking shit loads about cricket but that's like i think the essential idea they had like they have like things where they're like dudes will be there's like rubbing this side of the ball on like shit to like get a rougher and stuff like that and then they get like caught up for cheating for like it rougher and stuff like that. Then they get caught up with cheating for bowl tampering and stuff like that. I don't know anything about tennis, but there's an aspect of that too.

They'll play a match with, I'll call it six balls, but whatever it is. Then some of them kind of get bigger and fuzzier over time. Those are less desirable tennis balls that you can't serve as fast. They'll keep that one in their pocket and want a faster ball that they prefer.

It's a tennis thing, I think. for sure. But that's just picking a good ball out of the bunch, I guess. Like, yeah, that's not considered cheating.

It's yeah. They're literally altering the equipment. Yeah. If it's your guy, you don't care. You know, you're like, yeah,

but who can't, we're winning. if it's your guy, you don't care. You're like, yeah. We're winning. Chipper Jones was talking about how Greg Maddox, which was one of the greatest pitchers of all time, pitched for the Braves throughout that winning streak, was the nastiest human being he ever met. He looked like a librarian, Greg Maddox. Yeah.

He said that Greg would go play a round of golf before the game and wouldn't shower, and he would just wipe his gooch with one of the sanitary pads that they used for something or another and then throw it in with the rest of them and wait for some guy to pick it up and use it and get a whiff of it. He said that one time they were in the showers after the game, and I guess Chipper had had a good game and he hadn't been playing very long. And Greg Maddox was like, hey, what were you thinking when that happened, when you got that hit? And he's like, oh, I was just really blown away.

Greg Maddox is asking me what was going through my head when I had the big hit and everything. And I'm telling him, I don't know, man. I was really in the zone. I'm just happy to be here, this and that. And I noticed everybody's laughing at me. Everybody's snickering. I look down and Greg's pissing on my leg. I can't knock him the fuck out because it's Greg Maddox. I liked it so much more.

I knew anything about it. You have amazing get pissed on by your heroes one of my favorite fucking pitchers he's he was so fun to watch pitch he was he was really really accurate he paint the lines of the strike zone him and hopefully someone peed on him to even the score uh he'd probably liked it seems like a nasty guy yeah he'd probably fight hocus to do that oh yeah give him the old uh um glass glass bottom boat this is where you shit on it right yeah that's where that's what professor

salone likes that's when you get underneath the glass uh top coffee all right before we go to the next thing we're gonna hear from a couple of wonderful Did you eat White Castle last night like we discussed? All right, before we go to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA is brought to you by a company we know and love, Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? Eating it. You know what's not great?

Going and getting it. And the only fast things that do deliver, it's not what you're craving. That's where Postmates steps in, the app that adds a delivery option to your favorite restaurants. Imagine anything you want to eat delivered. You don't have to drive, park, or even talk on the phone to order. Just download the app and order 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Postmates will bring you what

you want within the hour. You can even see where your food is and track your driver. Forgot the eggs and milk? No problem. Craving a tasty burger? Check. Looking for the perfect bottle of red wine or a summer beer? Order up. Postmates is your new long-term munchies booty call. And for a limited time, Postmates is giving you $100, $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days.

To start those free deliveries, download the app today and use code PKA. That's code PKA for $100 of free delivery credit in your first seven days. Save the hassle, get the food you love fast at Postmates with code PKA for $100 of free delivery credit in your first seven days. Save the hassle. Get the food you love fast at Postmates with code PKA. $100 of delivery in your first week. Take advantage of that. That's a great deal. That's an exclusive deal that we negotiated with Postmates.

And so check that out. Check out Postmates. It's a wonderful service. This episode is also brought to you by Blue Chew. It's summer, camping season. Let's talk about pitching tents. That's right. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

Guys, confidence can take you far in life. It can also help in the bedroom, especially when it comes time to step up to the plate. That's where Blue Chew comes in. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in a chewable tablet and at a fraction of the cost.

You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The process is simple. Sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part is it's all done online, so no visits to the doctor office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Blue Chew's tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package. So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, Blue Chew can help. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code PKA at checkout.

Just pay the $5 of shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code PKA to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank them for sponsoring the podcast. And it's great. It's a wonderful service. You're going to love it.

Your dick's going to love it. Your lady or your man. We're good with everyone. Everyone should have a hard dick. Man or woman. Man or woman prefer hard dick. That's true. Code PKA, bluechew.com. Just pay the five bucks and chip.

Get yourself a hard dick. That is a good deal. It's a great deal. A couple of great deals here, guys. This is a different thing. I know it seems like it's hockey related, but it's really not. Taylor's slipping in hockey through the back door it's it's not so there's an expansion graph for the seattle kraken it's not that it's not that i always think because i've been following the expansion draft closely and so i've been like oh i'm interested who's gonna get taken who's not

where's everybody gonna move but nobody but me gives a fuck about that don't want carrie price you might end up with them but uh here is uh i'll link it to you guys so basically a little bit of drama that's been unfurling with the chicago black feet as kyle would call them so basically it was like a open secret apparently in 2010 and a little before that there was a guy who worked for the organization who would goad and coerce new prospects and even some players to come to his house and watch things uh so you can see right here so we'll look uh in or around may 2010 while plaintiff john doe was at aldrich the guy being an accused, apartment for coaching advice, Aldrich turned on pornography and began to masturbate in front of plaintiff. Keep in mind,

this plaintiff is likely an NHL star or NHL player that's still in the league. In or around 2010, plaintiff John Doe attempted to leave Aldrich's apartment, but Aldrich blocked the only exit from the apartment, grabbed a souvenir Cubs bat from his wall and physically threatened the plaintiff with a small bat. In 2010, while brandishing the bat at plaintiff John Doe, Aldridge verbally threatened the plaintiff by stating that he would never play in the NHL if plaintiff did not engage in non-consensual sexual activity with Aldridge at that time. While brandishing the bat at the plaintiff, Aldridge verbally threatened plaintiff by stating that Aldridge would ruin plaintiff financially and destroy his career if he did not engage in sexual activity with Aldrich at the time. So yeah, non-consensual, sorry. Around the same time, after physically and verbally threatening

the plaintiff, Aldrich exposed himself. Aldrich engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with plaintiff John Doe, including Aldrich masturbating in front of him, forcibly touching him and other loose and lascivious conduct until Aldrich ejaculated on the plaintiff while the plaintiff was paralyzed with fear. Huh? So Louis CK is a coach. You're never going to play for the Chicago Blackhawks. I mean, and this this keep in mind this is a professional athlete who just got drafted this guy's 18 like 7 17 17 or 18 i mean i'm sure he's

in tremendous shape uh but apparently the entire blackhawks organization and a bunch of the players like knew about this guy and they let him go go because of some kerfuffle surrounding it. And then he got recommended to coach an under-18 boys team, and he did that. And then he got caught doing some sinister shit over there as well, if I recall. So this guy, not just Hollywood, folks, open secrets all over the place with these ghouls. I just didn't expect it to be a guy masturbating on hockey players in Chicago. That's great.

Isn't this guy meant to be a professional athlete in the sport of basically ice skating around beating the fucking shit out of each other? And then he's just standing there just copping a fucking load. A load?

I shouldn't. It sounds like I'm shaming this guy for being paralyzed with fear while getting masturbated on. But surely, like, if someone cornered me and started trying to jizz on me, I'd probably, I don't know, throw a couple of punches. And this guy's like a professional puncher. You've never worked for Machinima. I'm going to tell you right now. You lean back and you take it. This why hudson i still don't get along i i was much funnier to pin it on scene headers i'm gonna come on you

another minecraft video where'm going to come on you. Dude, I hear what you're saying, Slush, but also being 18, I would believe whatever an adult at the organization said. This guy did not have the authority to be like, you're not going to play in the NHL. But if an adult who works for the organization tells me that, I'm going to be like, oh my goodness, He's clearly going to ruin my professional hockey career. Nobody else.

No other team would want me. Now they described him as paralyzed with fear. Something that has happened to me. I've had sleep paralysis, et cetera. I don't think, I don't buy that. He was paralyzed with fear over the course of time that it took for some guy to ejaculate on him.

I think instead he was coerced, that he fell for it, that he was like, well, fuck, if this is how you get in the NHL, I'll stand here. So what you're saying, Woody, is that if he's going to come – This is what it takes. So if he's going to come forward with these accusations, no pun intended, then I feel like he should probably have to forfeit any, any titles or, you know, accomplishments he's made in the NHL.

Right. Just like those actresses. No, they're not going to take out. think that jennifer uh lawrence should have to give up her oscar for example no she should be able to keep that hunger games money and this guy should be able to keep his nhl money but there's some other actress who might have got that role yeah if jennifer lawrence didn't uh have sex with like okay well this scenario is this guy's already been drafted. Maybe.

For all you know, he was only drafted for his part. Plenty of people get drafted. Not everyone makes the team. What is the difference between the sixth round and the seventh round player? Nothing. Nothing. The difference is one guy lets me come on him and the other doesn't. It would be funny if they're like the plaintiff john doe who was drafted second

overall i personally do that jennifer lawrence just deserves an oscar for uh for fucking harvey weinstein or whatever she did. For pretending that Harvey Weinstein's attractive. That'd be hard acting. That is the absolute acting of her career. Pretending that that fucking goblin

is a good looking boy. That guy has a head like a medicine bowl. Make me the star of Hunger Games and I'll fuck Harvey Weinstein now in his prison cell. I think she's got a good deal. Is he in prison still? I thought he...

No, that's Cosby that got out. Harvey Weinstein's got to be in prison. I just saw that clip of Harvey Weinstein pretending to need a walker, but I guess he walked his way right back to prison afterwards. I think maybe they let him out every now and then to try him in a different state or municipality or something like that and add some more years on but i'm pretty sure he's in he's locked up yeah i don't

think he's gonna get to produce any more films well different kinds of films maybe yeah it's not films in prison i don't understand why like this guy like this harvey weinstein guy is like clearly incredibly fucking loaded i don't understand like when all that shit started going down like anyone could see like the shit hitting the fan like this account is like sitting there watching twitter explode with this hashtag of like why didn't he fucking leave the country did he think he was like it was he just like dark with this was he actually that confident that he was gonna get away with it you know you know you never see that you never see someone actually like do that even with um was her name just lane maxwell like like she clearly had the means to it but she was in like the uh um new england

somewhere when they finally tracked her down it's like why isn't she like in one of those places that doesn't have extradition treaties with us i thought she came back didn't she land at the airport and they arrested her at the airport i don't remember the specifics i thought that she was in new england and they just found out she was like staying at somebody's like pool house or something like that but but if i'm someone like that who is like they got me like and you have the means and like the network of like contacts like why isn't she in another country like gone just gone well it's because you don't want to get mccaffey black yeah he was gone and the network of contacts. Why isn't she in another country? Gone. Just gone. You don't want to get McAfee.

He was gone and then he was on Twitter just being like, fuck you, American government. Did anything come of his dead man switch? Did anything happen? No. Oh, that's right. Remember he had one?

I haven't looked into it. He mentioned it on the show. Yeah, that's right. Remember he had one? I haven't looked into it. He mentioned it on the show. Yeah, I don't remember. He mentioned a lot of things on the show. He did. I mean, I thought he was funny. He was a little overbearing and weird, but he was entertaining to talk to. I didn't enjoy him. So I thought he was a pretty amazing change of pace. I thought it was an interesting show to hear this multi-hundred millionaire dude who lost all his money, is being accused of murder, and this crazy stories, hiding in the attic,

peeing himself from Colombian police or Bolivian police or whatever it was. I thought it was pretty amazing, pretty crazy. I wouldn't want him on every week because he's not totally coherent, but it was cool. A lot of fans didn't agree with me on that. Usually I finish a show and know if it's a good one or not. I thought that was a pretty good show and a lot of fans didn't

think so. Yeah, I didn't care for him either. He challenged me to a duel at one point. It was just bizarre. There was a point where he made fun of joe for not doing well he challenged me so i get to pick do you remember when he was like when he was like making up drugs he'd be like i've done drugs that you guys you need an atomic scale the slightest grain too much and you're insane forever the one grain too little. And you're as sober as a bird. I was buying it.

Could you take one grain too many? I didn't even think that it was fake. But now I do, now that you say it. But I remember he's like, what, you guys have never done heroin? And Taylor goes, we're all a bunch of squares. Every time I've ever seen him do anything, I'm just watching him. And I'm just like, him and i'm just like why do people care what these dudes saying like it's just the incoherent ramblings of a

bad man and like literally this dude is just like got rich and then just gone off the deep end and is just a fucking retard it's the same reason that like alex jones can be funny and entertaining is like the tangents the the like you don't know what they're going to say or where they're going to jump next. But it sounds like funny in a way. Like, Oh yeah. I'd love to have like a really in-depth conversation with you.

You're so interesting. It's more like, man, I love laughing at you. You're such a fucking fool. That's true. Like if we talk to Alex Jones, you'd be like,

wait, tell me about, I don't know. Uh, the moon. Like, play your greatest hits. Tell me about the frogs. Yeah. Tell me. The moon. Like in the movie. Do the moon one. Play your greatest hits. Tell me about the frogs.

Tell me about the frogs. Tell me about the moon. Tell me about the reptile vampires. Tell me about Sandy Hook. Now I gotta admit, I'm kinda retarded. That was the funniest little clip from him. No, I'm kinda retarded. Like on the record i gotta admit joe

oh that was a i don't listen to full joe rogan's often but when he was on like joe has such a bizarre chemistry with him because they've been friends for so long that it feels like like the alex jones like just trample over people. Joe can just be like, Alex, settle down. What are you doing? I'm sorry, Joe. You know me. We've known each other for a long time. I get excited and you hot me up.

You know, that's all you can say. On this, it's funny. I'm about to say this as I cut you off. But on the second one, Joe came in like on a mission to sort of be like, all right, you made an outlandish claim. Let's dive into that. Let's hear, let's hear the thought process behind it. The first one was instructional for me because I was getting a lot of fussing at the time about interrupting. And then I heard Joe Rogan, Eddie Bravo, and Alex Jones on the

same podcast together. None of them let each other talk none of them ever listened all of it like they were just all yelling over each other and i hated it i hated that episode and i'm like oh like this is illustrating the importance of letting someone finish their thought uh yeah it gets jumbled quickly yeah and and but like i get invested in what this guy is saying. If this guy is saying, whatever, Democrat, pedophile, reptile, vampires are running the White House. I'm like, ooh, tell me more about that. Tell me why you think that. But then before he either gets debunked or backed up, we're on to a new topic. I'm like, well, you fucking ruined it.

I really wanted to hear where that came from. And now you're talking about legal pot or something. It doesn't matter. We saw a clip of him the other day and he was like, Marco Rubio was somewhere like speaking to a group of people on a microphone, you know, like it's some sort of an event.

He's wearing a suit and tie, which is the only way I've ever seen Marco Rubio. And there's Alex Jones. He's there. And he's not with the crowd. He's like, he like sidles up to marco like he's next to him like and he's a big imposing guy especially next to marco rubio and he's just like just like trashing him just like he's like you know who i am info wars you know

info wars he's like i do not know who you are you know who i am you know who i am tell the people the truth and just like like berating him and he's just like marco's like don't touch me again oh tough guy you're gonna beat me up i didn't say that i didn't say that oh big guy's gonna beat me up little marco let's go marco come on and he's just like tearing him apart embarrassing him marco's finally like walking away like yeah enjoy your bathhouse have a good day have a good day head off the bathhouse like making gay jokes it's just like it did not go well for marco it's so hard to like be in that position like it's one thing if he's at like a bar or restaurant looking like a fool in front of like normal people but like marco rubio there's no way he can like take that without looking like an asshole or like he's lost there's no good move for rubio there there's

no good move you can't engage on crazy island with alex because he's the proprietor so everything goes in his favor on insane isle but uh what was like rubio was trying to like give an answer they're like something something about taxes i don't know and like as he's trying to answer like the politicians proper way alex jones is standing next to him, taller than him, going, hey, why don't you tell him? And he's looking right at him. Why don't you tell him about your secrets, huh? Tell him about the secrets. Tell him. Are you going to tell him? Are you going to tell him about the censorship of your secrets? No, you're not. You're going to talk about taxes. Straight up like I ate my brother's Easter candy when I was 12 years old. Thief man, thief thief now these people are all

you can't argue with someone like that though because they just like they just flit from thought to thought and then the second you like the second you say something back to them they're just like but what about it is just like what were we talking about again and you can't follow that train of thought because they're just a fucking moron because Yeah, because it's just a carpet bombing of things. It's like, the government, they're vampires first of all. Second of all, that's the reason they went to the moon is to get their essence. They call it adrenochrome.

That's a goose. That's a red herring. It's actually on the moon. The reason we faked it was so they could believe we couldn't get there to achieve it. It's like, wait, but what about the underground thing? Can we go back to the beginning? You're worried about that when you should be worried about something else is that a thing you ever said you should fake the moon landing was so that they didn't think that we could do it no i made that up i don't know i like that one i was just trying to be

trying to put myself in his headspace like america faked the moon landing just so they could like one up the soviets and then they just did it later anyway i'm just like yeah yeah we'll do it eventually but we'll just fight the first one dude if it came out it was fake it would be so embarrassing we 100 lost the space race that is such bullshit that america won the space goalpost moving yeah they just we've shown it before here let me see they did a bunch of things but we did the biggest thing we went that wasn't the race it was to get to outer space and then we're like that's actually not the well i'll say this they quit right after that yeah and their whole country crumbled that's because it's pointless why would you want to go to

the moon it's fucking pointless there's nothing there that's the point it's it's it's because it's pointless why would you want to go to the moon it's fucking pointless there's nothing there it's it's it's like it's achieving the technology and the economy to make it happen instead of using your tech and economy to blow each other up like that was the idea like and but yeah they did all the things they went to they were the first uh ones to put an object on another planet they went to venus um went to Venus. The first satellite, the first dog in space, the first life form in space, all that shit. Wait, they got to Venus first? Yeah. Oh, then we definitely lose.

That's further away than the moon. Well, they didn't send a person, though. Well, I know. Space race. First artificial satellite. First animal in space. First photographs of the far side of the moon. These are all Russian accomplishments. First animal in space. First photographs of the far side of the moon. These are all Russian accomplishments. First person in space. First woman in space. First spacewalk. All Russia. First spacecraft landing on the moon. Russia. First person on the moon. America.

First spacecraft landing on another planet. Venus. That's Russia. First space station. That's Russia. First spacecraft landing on Mars. That's Russia. Winner of the space race. America. Dude, we got blown out. Take this down. This is propaganda. We won't. We're all a bunch of commies. Only one of these countries still exists anymore.

Yeah, but I mean, they still beat us. The space station thing is a huge L. That's such a big thing to do. We don't even have one now. And they do? Is that right? I should go to the space station. The Americans just come around.

I'm pretty sure they let me here. Hold on, what was that, Slesh? Don't the Americans just come around with the Russian rockets every time they go out? No, we use Elon Musk now. No. And we got there. What, because of Operation Paperclip where we're like, all these Nazi scientists are Americans

now and they belong to us. Give them land on their talk at all. How do we feel about Bezos going to space? I'm a little mixed. First of all, he barely went. They made it sound when I heard he was going to space,

I was watching Landmark Stream when it happened. He's like, oh heard he was going to space like i was watching landmark stream when it happened he's like he's like they're like oh he's going to space right now oh wait he's back well how long was he up there and they're like 37 seconds like well that's not a that's nonsense that's how high did he go that's stupid he went as high enough that it was like technically space. That Red Bull is suborbital, isn't it? Yeah. If you look up Jeff Bezos' altitude, it says he's 5'7". Oh. I wonder if it was easy to get him into space. He's a fucking bitch.

Or he could kick the county into space. And the overhead bin. So he went to 250, feet which is how many miles is that 100 miles roughly that's a lot i've been to two on a paramotor about the same yeah that's true you know he wasn't he wasn't steering it so you're more qualified I like where this is headed if I'm Bezos I'm like no no no put me behind the controls sir I have been

ex-air force have been training in the module for the last three years for you slide down slide down I'm getting behind the controls I'm getting behind the controls I want that picture of me piloting us into space. Does it have a wheel?

Do you think? It's probably got a... Power steering went out! What if they did that thing that they do for little kids? They give them the fake little steering wheel and he's over there like... He's like putting it in

gear. It's bright yellow and green. It says fisher price yeah he's honking the horn it's making like cow noise it's like zach i can't follow all these one word things are you saying red bull went higher or yeah yeah do you remember the uh the highest jump the the guy uh red bull did the highest ever like free fall to a parachute and the guy was in space when he jumped like you could see the curvature of the earth and so he's saying that that guy the red bull jumping he said the opposite he clarified he was wrong okay oh that's it was confusing how hard did uh how hard did the the what's his fucking name? The Virgin bloke. How high did he go?

Richard Branson. I don't know. Did he go to 250,001 feet? I seriously doubt it because his thing is like a space plane. It looks funky. Elon Musk is the winner of this thing by a long shot.

280,000 feet for Branson. Yeah. Of course, Elon Musk wins this head-to-head for sure. Musk hasn't been into space. Musk hasn't left Earth at all. But that's by choice. He could. He could go if he wanted to.

If he was brave enough. Bezos and Branson are dumb enough. Cajones. They're both alive so it's brave. I'd love to hear his answer on that. Why haven't you gone to space, Elon? I bet he has a great answer. i bet he has a great answer i bet he has a great answer really because he's such an accomplished speaker and he makes his point so eloquently yeah it'll be like okay i need to go back you're right yeah and the i saw some meme about uh zucker Zuckerberg laughing when he hears that the other billionaires are going to space when he came from space.

Yeah, yeah. Is it okay that – so I'm torn on this. On one hand, Bezos has, for all intents and purposes, limitless money. And he's not doing a lot of good with it i know just recently i think he gave her one or two hundred million dollars away which and it is a lot but it's also like nothing for him i mean that's like the most like me giving ten dollars exactly yeah yeah yeah i bet that ratio is not too insane like it's like giving away ten dollars and uh um so on one, he's endless money and he seems to be spending it on, you know, yachts and houses and planes, private jets, I should say, and spacecraft and shit like that. And it's like, bro, like you could do some societal good.

On the other hand, like his customers are happy. It wasn't like everyone acts like he got there by stealing. No, he got there because I buy fucking everything i am i buy so much from amazon i have a box disposal problem because i'm a satisfied customer there are hundreds of millions of satisfied customers like me who keep giving their money to amazon because the experience is better than you get anywhere else the return policy is outstanding their shipping is fast it's it's it's like they it's all true the return policy is like nothing i've ever experienced in life before it's like you could just tell them that you didn't get a thing or that and they'll believe you like like

if you're a big spender they're like like you are i'm sure that's probably that's probably has something to do with it but like you know i've told the story before but like that four or five hundred dollar watch the other day that like this thing that like showed up and they were it was the box was empty and i was just like hey i was excited to get my new watch today and it wasn't in the box and it was like you want a new one or just credit and i'm just like i want a new one i really want one all right i'll be there tomorrow i'm like fuck it was and it was now i have extra charging cables i'm a winner i do i do have i think the reason people hate it is because they there's all those reports and shit of like

him having the like treating his employees like shit like not the not like he's like roaming around the factory floor like whipping people by hand he obviously hires people to do that for but like they have all those people where they're just like yeah they they let us take five minute breaks every 12 hours and then they just fucking fire us if we're not stacking enough boxes and shit i think that's why the people are like yeah, fuck that guy. I'm okay with it. We talked about it last week. I'm okay with it. If you don't like it, quit your job.

I watch Landmark stream 24 hours at a time. I'm telling you, he's taking five-minute breaks at the most. All right? That man is squeezing it. That man squeezes the shit out between raids. And I don't mean in the waiting screen. He's loading into a raid taking a shit. Okay? That's not a streaming, man. He's loading into a raid, taking a shit, okay?

That's part of streaming, man. He eats every meal on stream. He can't get regular wings because you can't eat wings while you play. He's got to get boneless wings over there. I just zoom the camera in and just eat like a fucking pig, man. Fuck him. If I'm live for 18 hours a day, I'm going to pick my nose and fucking eat it.

The keyboard. I will just sit there in the menu and just fucking eat like a burger and just have it all over my face and council be like man that's gross i'll be like don't like it don't fucking watch then fuck off i'll give a shit there's meat in your beard yeah yeah it's snack zach has a great idea you I mean you're on Twitch You should be suing Bezos for not getting long breaks Well yeah exactly He owns it right

That would be so funny To sue him I get fired He can't abuse your boss Landmark needs to go on CNN And be like he makes me work 24 hour shifts I get fired because it's like, yeah, you can't abuse your boss. Mark needs to go on CNN and be like, he makes me work 24 hours. I work 24 hour on eight off. It's a horrible.

No, please don't hand me. I'm joking. There was this thing the other day that they, they trademarked the Amazon. They had this, like, it was a box where people work in have you guys seen it it's just like this like cage that their workers sit in and it's it reminded me of like that ready player one movie where they have those people like locked in with the fucking headsets on and they're just like stacking boxes in the virtual environment they've got like this like worker cage like trademark it's like it's bizarre to have so what happens in the cage does he operate a robot does he just scream and no one can hear him

this is the thing that we talked about before where uh it was like the relaxation mental health booth where it's like for eight minutes every year they can go in there and look at a ficus and not be sad. Yeah, this thing. Is this the suicide booth from Futurama? It looks like it. Look at that claw arm. It's like something from the fucking cartoon. That's a masturbatory device,

and I appreciate it. Can you imagine seeing a whole warehouse of these, and they almost pick up every box? It's so inefficient. Like the game clock. Incredibly weak. It should be vacuum operated not grip operated. Oh yeah, that'd be

cooler. That's why they don't do that in those games because it would work too well, I bet. Oh, for sure. Both of these suck. Yeah, I don't know what to make of, because it would work too well, I bet. Oh, for sure. Both of these suck. Yeah, I don't know what to make of it, because there is a part of me that is like, with your level of resources, you could do some good in the world. I do less. Like Bill Gates does. But another part of me is like, a self-made man who enjoys his toys, how can you fucking fuss at that?

I do evil things with that much money. You said you donated $100 million? No, that would never happen i think oh please no i would pick wherever my favorite civil war going on in the world was and i would fund both sides yeah let's get some rockets just for fun you get helicopters you get any aircraft go old dudes like uh like the what they call like the robber barons in like america and shit like that they just made fuck loads of money they get to like their older age and then they're like oh my legacy i don't remember like you got like carnegie hall and shit like that like that dude was a cunt like he was a piece of shit. And then later

in life, he's just like, oh, yes, the arts. I'm going to give money to the poor, but he's just like a fuckhead for his entire life. I certainly didn't hire people to physically threaten those who were trying to enter into the steel business. I've never did that for decades.

Look, I built a music hall. Forget what a piece of shit i am exactly that's exactly what it is bezos will get old and then he'll build like bezos cowboy stadium or something yeah and he'll be like oh fuck i'm starting to knock on death's door i wonder if hell actually exists and whether i'm gonna go there and then just like i can start donating all his money or some shit when i was sell his Amazon stock or relieve? Am I just making this up? I thought I read it. I think he stepped down from CEO, but he still has his stock.

Okay. I think he gave some to his wife. Yes. Dude, I saw this meme on Reddit today. She got the best possible divorce outcome ever. And then she got $50 billion, and then her husband left the planet. One day you're married to the richest man in world history. The next day you're the richest woman in world history.

Yes. Yeah. My wife and I talked. She's like, she earned that money because she worked at Amazon too. And I'm like, oh, i probably shouldn't engage in this but knowing what you're like i can't let this stand i was like do you think her unique skill set for an Amazon what it was? Did you notice she retired 15 years ago

and still kept growing and doing better after she left? That's true. I would never have my wife. I'd just be like, yeah, she did, honey. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm just going to leave that one. Just walk out of the room.

Fuck that. Good take. Good take, hon. Yeah, yeah. You do you. I'm going to go back and stream now. Dr. Dre ordered to pay his ex-wife three and a half million a year in spousal support. It just seems like he got off cheap.

Isn't he a billionaire? Dr. Dre? I thought he was broke. He's the Beats by Dre guy. He sold all that money. He made money off Apple. He's definitely not a B billionaire. Are you sure?

I'm not at all. I think he had 50 Cent. 50 Cent was broke. Yeah. I thought Jay-Z was the richest rapper because of all his businesses and side things. Dr. Dre, four years ago estimated net worth of 800 million okay shit way higher than i would have thought uh it has him now at 820 million so not a billionaire i think you're right but also pretty rich if you have 800 some

million dollars and your wife gets three and a half a year you're okay yeah you don't even notice that for the most part like he's still selling his headphones i feel like you could put that in a passport savings account at wells fargo and earn three and a half million in interest like how do they even calculate this like net worth is this just like all the money that they have tied up in properties like yeah it's the the worth of your assets minus your liabilities that's your net worth oh okay so mine's fucking minus a million i wouldn't know i have nothing you know i just spend all my money on bullshit didn't you just buy that house the last time you were on the show? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Okay. It was an incredibly predatory line. Are we counting all the money I waste on beer and stuff? Because I never have any money left in my account every week. 99% interest. Sounds like it's an I plus. How much are you borrowing? $1.

Yeah, you're going to definitely need a good line of credit on that. Yeah, there's three payments with 3000 a week. That $1. What? I don't know anything, but I know all my friends who are looking for houses right now are all holding off because of how expensive shit is right now what's like the economist projection or as if they ever get anything right it always goes up yeah i pay a lot of attention to this and and that's what you want to know right you know houses have really skyrocketed lately

is it about to go back down? But if anyone could answer that question, they'd be a trillionaire. Unless the entire economy crashes, it doesn't go down. I thought the stock market was due for a dip for five years now. And it wasn't a Trump thing. It was just like, you know what? It's been going up for seven years in a row. now. And it wasn't a Trump thing. It was just like, you know what? It's been going on

for seven years in a row. That's about the length of an economic boom. Seven years, eight years, something like that. We're probably going to trend down. Trended up the entire Trump presidency and I think we just hit a new high within the last few days. It dipped since

then, but yeah. It just keeps going up. Eventually it'll go down and I'll be like one of those bears that claims they predicted it i knew all along but uh but yeah anyway i don't know like i swear property never goes down like it does well it doesn't australia so maybe 2008 crash would like to have a word with you yeah it's It's aside from that, but they're like, that's like a massive, like world ending fucking like recession. And that's, that's like,

they're pretty rare. Like that. I would agree. It's a thing that trends up. So it doesn't go down very much. And it seems like whenever it goes down, that means it takes longer to sell. Like it doesn't actually go down very much.

Yeah. But it also it ran up kind of unprecedentedly during this covid thing so maybe they're not unprecedentedly but like i don't get it's run up a lot it seems like it i swear like a lot of people that were like they brought like i brought during the covid stuff and the entire reason for that was i had money set aside to just travel overseas like non-stop all year and then i was like uh can't do that what the fuck am i gonna do my money i'm not gonna i don't want to sitting in my account just like doing nothing so i'm just gonna buy a house yeah this is just me talking out of my butt but i think one like you mentioned people who spread their disposable income somewhere else, like restaurants, movies, travel, et cetera, suddenly found that piling up. And I think two,

people started working from home a lot. And that changed a lot of people's housing requirements. Suddenly a house with one spare bedroom seems a little weak we need two offices because my husband and i both work and yeah like that's exactly why we moved like my wife was worthy working in the kitchen and the house the room was like where she belongs my feminist that's where mine works so we had like a three-bedroom house and it just wasn't enough room so we're like yeah let's move and then we just like move straight away and it was yeah it was just because of that like we're working from home we're like this fucking sucks this house is way too small for you and me to be like peeped in here working non-stop, I've seen real life examples of that.

Where like suddenly this like, oh, a friend of mine had like a four bedroom house and he's like, we thought this would be enough for like us to have three kids. And now it's like, we're looking at like a five bedroom house with a specific office area and then another one can be her office.

And it's like, you get to, at least from what I've been looking, I always poke around on real estate, looking at houses just for fun because it's interesting just i'll just look at areas i've never thought of before i'm like what's fucking bozeman montana looking like like just out of curiosity and it's like once you get to like five bedrooms now it feels like there's a true there's always been a tier of that like over four under six but like it's like it's an understood thing now you want to have kids you want to have two people working from home you

need five like you you need that now i in my lifetime i've seen that number go from three to perhaps five if you say that i've definitely seen it go from three to four used to be three bedroom house like oh you can always sell a three bedroom house. There's always a new family who wants that. It's the, it's the, it's the size that is the most popular. And then that changed to kind of four, like this idea that like,

you know, mom, dad, two kids, no spare bedrooms, no spare rooms, period was normal. Now it's like,

yeah, four is better. And now maybe it's five. It's, it's growing, which also ties into the like-year-olds being like, my parents bought a house for $800 and now they're a quarter million. Your parents' house was three bedrooms and no air conditioning.

You're looking at the fucking Lamborghini of houses to start in and saying it's not affordable. It's not apples to apples. I do find that that's a very common thing with, like when young people are buying real estate, they're oh i can't buy a house it's way too expensive and then i look at like where my parents lived and like my friend's parents where they lived when they when they brought their houses and i was like i was looking at one specifically he's like my dad bought his house for 27 000 uh way back in the 70s or 80s or something like that and he brought in like

what is now very close to town it's it was fucking nothing like he brought it he brought a house in the middle of a field when it was like first thing and i did that as my first house so when i was 21 i was like okay i'm gonna buy a house my dad's like you can't afford something in town buy a piece of land in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and then build a house on it. It was really cheap. And there was nothing there. And then I rented it out for eight years

and then I moved back into it. When I went back there, I actually couldn't find my house because it was so developed there and I hadn't been down there because there was a real estate agent looking after it that I didn't even know which fucking street it was on because there was so many more streets had been added to that neighborhood that was yeah because like and now it's a developed area i assume the worth of it

went way up it's triple so and then i went back so i went back and like that's that's how i brought the this current house because once you're in you've got equity i bought i built that house for 250 000 it's worth like over 600 now i went back i only owed 150 grand on it but these are australian dollars right so that's yeah yeah it's true it was a very cheap house 100 bucks it's like a shanty. It was a refrigerator. But I go back there now and they're like, oh, you will value it at whatever it was valued at. And then they're like, okay, so you have this much money to put towards your next house.

So I just jack up all the finance on that old house. And then when I got this house, I didn't have to pay like any money for it because it just jacked up the home loan on the other one, which I then just rent out at an exorbitantly high price so then that pays itself off so now i don't have a mortgage and that's like you played everyone good job yeah but that's like like that's how everyone like you just do that because it just keeps going up yeah there's no bad time to be in you've just got to get in there first and then it's just free money

i mean if i could go back and make like a different financial decision as a young adult they would have been to buy real estate and property earlier like looking back and being like oh god the amount of money i just threw in a furnace with rent when I could have been getting you spent time in Missouri and Idaho and then back in Missouri again I think am I right yeah yeah that's true it was like uh I was 25 when I moved back uh like a young 25 like had turned that recently and like I wish I had just been like all right let's let's get a home loan now like let's start chipping away at a mortgage and like building equity and something instead of like i guess i'll rent and i guarantee i know the reason i did it because i know myself was like familiarity being like i know how to go i

know how to find an apartment i like the fact i'm not responsible for it i like that that you know and at the time that made more sense to me of like well i don't want to be responsible for it whereas now it's like well fuck man like i i could have been in earlier that's like it'd be nice to be a lot of a lot of my friends were like uh were like i don't want to do it because i don't want to like live out of town and stuff like that i just built one out of town and then just rented it out to like a young family and they just lived in the center of the city like i live next door to the one of the busiest bars in Hobart and then had the property paying itself off.

Dare to dream. But it's like. It's a nightmare. Woody and I are so alike. I'm like, ugh. There's not many young people there. Yeah.

But this is, this is when I was 21. It was like my, my hobbies were doing drugs. And that's. Yeah. I wasn't like, I didn't, I didn't give a fuck about noise because it's like okay if there's a noisy party next year next door i'll just smoke 35 000 bongs and then just fall asleep so it doesn't really matter i didn't really give a

fuck but it was um like i i didn't actually live there but but I was sort of lucky. My dad was just like, you should do this. And I'm like, all right. Oh, yeah. I lived when I was like the most ridiculous money I was paying for rent is when I lived in a pretty good area of St. Louis. Okay. I'm setting myself up. I'm cutting you guys off the pass at this joke.

A good area for St. Louis. Down, down. For St. Louis, it's a good area. Be honest. I would have made bigger jokes about it. Remember when those guys, like those rioters, tore that fence down and then those two St. Louis couple?

I lived less than a mile. I could walk there. I couldn't get in because there was a wrought iron gate, but I know exactly where that was. You could. I could have found my way in. I just needed a bunch of foot. I couldn't get in because there was a wrought iron gate but I know exactly where that was you could I could have found my way in I just needed a bunch of was that the Karen and the John

with the apple I remember looking at that and I was like that dude looks like Woody if he was like 10 years older oh dude I remember seeing people I remember seeing people comment online and being like,

they probably just wandered into that neighborhood. And I was like, I can guarantee that's not true because there are 14-foot stone and brick mason walls with raw iron gates in there. I wouldn't have known how to get in. I don't even know. You probably need to pass. But anyway, I lived close to there.

And I lived adjacent above, not entirely above a bar called – Yeah, exactly. I know exactly. No GPS. I could find that out. Is that full of a big picture, the one I linked, maybe? That's how Woody talks to waitresses.

That point and that face of indignation. that's, that's how Woody talks to waitresses. That point, that point, that face of indignation. I said, medium rare. But I, I remember like the first few months I was living,

I only lived there for like a year and a half, little over a year and a half, but I was like adjacent over a very popular bar called a subzero vodka bar. Now out of business since the lockdown stuff. But I remember the first few months, like when I'd go to bed, I could hear like the sound of it. And I'm like, this is kind of neat. It's so lively. It's so fun down here. And like the last couple of months, I'm like, this fucking sucks. This is the worst ever. Like I'm so tired of people. This is totally tangential, but like remember my now wife ordered some late night delivery hotbox cookies. It's totally advertised to people who are high and want cookies at two

in the morning. She ordered them and fell asleep. I went down the stairs to answer the door and get them. I took it from this guy and I am, this is like a Saturday night. I am so fucked up. And this guy, I'm like, Hey, thank you so much, man. And he was like, Hey, Taylor. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I love the show, man. And I'm like, thank you. Please tell no one that I live here. I remember going upstairs and being like, even being this fucked up, I'm now stressed.

That he's going to kill people where I live and they're going to come find me or something. I've been up the other day. I think I come to install solar panels the other day and he's just like, you slush bumping? I'm like, you tell anyone where I live,

I'm going to fucking kill you i locked my keys in my car the other day um at kitty's house actually um i did this stupid thing where like i went to get out of the car and like i took the keys out of the ignition and then i was like what am i doing i don't need to lock my car i'm in her driveway. I'm coming right back out. And so I like, but I had already pressed lock because that's like my, you know, I pull the keys out, hit lock. Muscle memory. Yeah. And so I put the key back in the ignition, but the doors are locked. I close the door.

I'm in her house like an hour or something. We're chilling. I go outside. Click, click, click. It's locked. And I'm just like, fuck. And what I should have done, and for anyone who who like does this if you want to save some money and your car has ever had on star call reinstate your on star it's negotiate a little it's like ten dollars then be then immediately be like unlock my car

they'll unlock it then cancel your on star i forgot to do that so I called $150 locksmith and he shows up big black guy like super buff Gets out of his car with all this gear and everything is you look like that cat from YouTube That's me you live here yeah, yeah yeah selling out poor kitty sure do sure do could you help me out a little here with a yeah but um and then um but but like uh normally like i don't go to the door when i get things delivered it my my postmates and like instacart and all that shit it's like leave package i will not come and uh and then i've got the no soliciting sign on my door. So like if somebody fucking rings that doorbell to try to sell me some pest control or some motherfucking shutters for a house that I'm renting, I'm usually very upset because like I got a messed up sleep schedule. So like I get my eight hours of sleep at night. I'm not like sleeping all day or anything, but I am sleeping all day. That may not make sense at first.

I'm sleeping a normal amount, but when I do that, it's up to me, God damn it. I got to be here five hours a week, and I do it, and the rest is up to me. I like how you made the five hours a week seem like a burden. I put my five hours in, God damn it. When I was in the other room i did my blue cheese

very nice it tastes uh it tastes good it doesn't taste bad i'll say that it's sort of like a like the kind of thing is it tastes great uh i mean i eat them like candy. So, no, they're like sweet tarts, but not quite as good. But I get so – the maddest I can remember being toward another human being was when some guy tried to sell me some shit at my door with a no soliciting sign, and he rang the doorbell three times at one in the afternoon. I was asleep because I had went to bed at 10 a.m like like this is good sleep this is the worst time we're in REM sleep like like i'm planning on waking up at like 6 p.m or something like that and like starting my day like it probably involved doing one of these shows

or whatever like waking me up at 1 p.m i'm i'm so fucking pissed when i open that door and i'm and my heart's racing because i'm like guess it's my probation officer right it's inspection day i guess i need to piss a neck up so like i don't piss before i come i'm like well let's save it up for uh i won't say my po's name but him and uh no it's this cocksucker selling i don't remember if it was i think it was pest control i think it was pest control. I think it was pest control. And I'm just like, you didn't read the sign? I was like, I don't want to buy any fucking pest. I didn't say, I didn't curse.

I was like, I don't want to buy any pest control. And he's like, you didn't read the sign? And he laughed at me. And I was just like, do we have a problem here? Like, now I'm ready to fight on my fucking doorstep over this fucking pest control shit. And he's just like, no, we don't have a problem. I just, you know, it's that time of year, you know, roaches and spiders. And I'm like like, no, no problem. It's that time of year. Roaches and spiders.

I was so mad. I was so fucking mad. I hadn't been that mad in years. I hate it. I like to think you taught him to respect no soliciting signs. Going forward, he's going to be like, you know what? If you knock on a no soliciting door, the guy inside might want to beat you up. I wanted to beat the shit out of him on my fucking doorstep when was this you're lucky i'm on probation this has been a while this has been a while okay like it's i've

had to sign up for like over a year now because i was getting so many people coming into our neighborhood like selling any number of things like mostly lawn care, shutters. One guy tried to sell me vinyl siding, and I'm renting a brick house. I'm just like, know your market, dude. What do you think? You know what I want to avoid? I don't like

it when package delivery people ring the doorbell. It's a real common thing. They don't mean anything harm. They probably think they're doing you a favor. I do not have a package theft problem at my house. Probably most viewers know. My driveway is really long. So people can't see the packages from the road.

And no one comes up the darn driveway. It's not a problem. But we do sometimes have a baby sleeping here. And the dogs bark when you ring the doorbell. And it's like like dude like you just set forth like don't do that yeah you just made a huge problem for us kitty had a guy ring her door kitty has a autoimmune disorder right and so she's got a sign that says something to the something like persons inside with weakened immune system please be respectful something like that i don't

know exactly says that she orders like a Domino's pizza and the guy rings the doorbell, even though he's supposed to leave it, per the instructions on the site. He's like, weakened immune system, eh? That must suck. She's just like, yes! She's like, yes! She's like, yeah! It was,

like, she called Domino's and complained. I think she got him in trouble. Me too. I'm, like, super sick right now. Yeah, right? You know, I know how it is. I'm always sick. I'm always sick. Fucking cocksucker.

I'm gonna just, like, that explains all your pains of delivery. You're a fuckwit. I'll give a little motorcycle update. I straightened my handlebars back out after my little crash. And I've gone out, like, three, four times. I went out last night on the bike at nighttime for the first time, which

was really nice. It feels so good to drive in, like, the cool air. It wasn't scarier first time, which was really nice. It feels so good to drive in the cool air. It wasn't scarier? No, it was less scary. I went out and I had to run a quick errand, but then I just rode around for probably 15-20 minutes afterwards. I took a really long way home.

My headlight is bright as fuck, which I wasn't sure if it was or not because I'd only tested it in my garage. That was fun. I haven't gone on any long trips or anything. I've mostly been going to this big industrial park near me where there's like a huge parking lot. And mostly just practicing like low-speed maneuvers,

just riding the friction zone and the clutch and doing a lot of counterbalancing and, and like, just really slow, just circles, like, like, like, sometimes I'll just do a circle for like, a minute solid, just as tight, make it tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and slower and slower, like make it as difficult as possible on myself. So that, you know, if I've got to turn it a stop sign or a red light, I'm a little more confident with that with those maneuvers. Because that's what it's actually kind of like scary and awkward, like on a highway, like going through curves, isn't a problem at all for me. I don't mind that at all. Um, I can lean the bike over and I have no fear really. I know it'll do it, but like in like a red, a red light sort of like a stoplight kind

of thing. It's like, I don't know. I don't have that muscle memory yet and I'm still thinking about what needs to be done not just reacting. It's good to get that muscle memory down. I'm really enjoying the bike, having a lot of fun. Again, like Conyers Motorsports up there, Mountain Motorsports, if you guys want to

pick up a bike or anything, they were so, so cool to me. I'll mention them again. I think they said they'd give you $200 off. If you buy anything there, if you mention my name, great people, internet sales team,

Dustin's been great. I talked to him today. Nice guy. I'm still trying to learn to wheelie. So I went 50 miles today. DMV license plate place is 12 miles away. Had to go there twice, back and forth, because I didn't bring the right paperwork.

Not that smart, but gave me a chance to ride. I rode the bike I like to do wheelies on, and I'm getting better. You know, if you said, Woody, 100 bucks to lift that front wheel, I'd take all your money. I think I can do it just about every time. But it's lame.

It's lame. It's hardly, it's rarely over a foot, and it's not very long. When you first learn to wheelie, the move is to get the wheel up and then hit the brake and put it down so that when you get it up too far, you have that muscle memory. Like you've learned the recovery skill and that's where I am. Right. I'm sorry. Yeah. Rear brake. Cause your front tires off the fucking ground. It doesn't do a lot. Yeah. The front brake does it. But if you hit the rear brake, right? I'm sorry. Yeah, rear brake. And then rear brake. Because your front tire's off the fucking ground. It doesn't do a lot. Yeah. The front brake doesn't. But if you hit the rear brake, the front comes back down hard, but there's suspension.

And it's important to learn to do that before shit gets out of control. And that's where I am. Step one, learn to do that. And I kind of had a breakthrough today. I think I was letting the clutch out too slowly. Maybe lack of balls,

perhaps. Inch by inch, I'm manning up a little bit. Nice. I remember I told you what Scum told me about instead of pulling back on the handlebars to compress the front forks and to let the rebound do the work for you.

I don't know if you tried that at all. I have tried that. I've heard that on YouTube. I've heard pull up, but even more, you sort of compress the front forks and then lean back with it. I do like that. I will say that the timing takes a little more talent than just pulling up and I'm still developing that. But I think that in the long run that's the way to go i think i don't know yeah but i would love to have a dirt bike like what you've got and like i wish i had someone to ride it like like i would get like a little like i would get a little one like like a 250 cc or something like that and like something that i could just really just run the shit out

of on dirt and just have fun get a 250 two-stroke and you just thrash the shit out of it a hell fun yes are there any street legal ones 252 stroke street legal yeah uh you can in australia i know there's there's a few that i don't know if they do it in america i don't know if i if i lived like where i'm from, like Franklin County, and I had my dad's place, I would have two motorcycles right now, for sure. And that would be one of them. I wouldn't even...

I know Scum's got the Supermoto thing. I don't want something like that. I don't want something special. What's your ride bike? Honda CB650. I just bought it. I just bought it last week, or the week before before or something like that

um i took the i took a training course got my license the next day got the bike the day after that is that how they do that so in america you have to take a training course or you just gotta apply you can just go apply and with the uh department of motor vehicles and you can take a written test and and uh you can get a permit and a permit here is pretty much just as good as a license uh it like lets you do everything a license does but it's not a license uh and then if you can do a road test at the dmv and you can get your actual license you know the m thing on your regular card uh but i i'm taking my life in my own hands and i'm old enough to know that you know with a

motorbike so i uh i went to and did this motorcycle training course it's a two-day course with a lot of uh like in the book in the classroom training but also a lot of um uh scenario writing you know avoiding obstacles uh running over things in the road how to deal with that swerving and curves and really everything i had never ridden a motorcycle seriously i had just like gotten on a buddy's like twice three times before in my life and like i knew how to use a clutch because i knew i'd use a clutch in a car so like and i was just kind of doing mostly straight lines and big wide curves so it's no big deal but this taught me how to actually do some stuff. Yeah, like counter-steering this way really fast and stuff like that, like the more nuanced stuff.

Yeah, yeah. And lots of the slow-speed maneuvers are the hardest thing for me. Yeah, I found that really hard as well when I first started. Yeah, you're right. I used to a lot. And then I had a fucking enormous crash and then i was like i hate these stories all the time and then there was this event in which i wised up and we're here in the unwise stage like yeah when i was on i'm on facebook marketplace and i found this uh this uh i don't

remember if it was an indian or a harley either way it was like holy shit this bike's four thousand dollars like i can be there now um i can go i just need to go to the bank and and i start reading more and more and uh he's got like a weird title thing going on though and uh and that's why i didn't go buy it but but it was like just had a terrifying crash on my on my like his sport bike i'm done with motorbikes i'm getting into jet skis all my have to go and it's just like oh well shit and it's like a commonality that you see when you're looking through like craigslist and facebook marketplace ads it's like just almost died and uh and and the gun surgeon messaged me like like you know our buddy who lost the use of his right arm on a motorbike um that happened to one of my mates in uh school actually

not an uncommon uh but but first of all he's doing super well financially um he uh he's got a bunch of rental properties i think i think he's great i think he's about to buy an apartment building oh gosh yeah he really took that settlement money and turned it into more good He's got a bunch of rental properties, I think. Oh, great. I think he's about to buy an apartment building. Good gosh. He really took that settlement money and turned it into more. Good for you. Gunsers, I hope you see this. I'm happy for you.

Yeah, super happy for you, bro. But he messaged me. He's like, first of all, I'm a little surprised that you would get a motorbike after what happened to me. And I'm like, I did tell your story at the motorcycle training class. I did tell all the other students about how my buddy lost his goddamn right arm on a motorbike because somebody turned out in front of him. Whenever you hear those horror stories, it's never like, I wanted to take that turn a little too quickly, and there was sand in the corner, and that's what did it.

That's a common one, it one too though i guess that is a common one of those i've been trying to fit this in you like driving at night i do too it's cool be aware that because you have one headlight drivers struggle with knowing the distance even more sure yeah i'm always actually banned like the blacks uh that like the ninjas and stuff that had uh two headlights separate actually banned those in australia and they they cut off like one of the lights and you could only have one on at a time because people would see the two lights and think it was a car that was like fucking ages away but it was actually a bike that was really close because it's two lights and they'd just be like

yeah i'm overtaking bang and then just hit some brick oh shit that makes sense i have one light i have one um i think i have two on one of my bikes yeah you do on the ktm i think yeah i'm like they're both light i need to look at it yeah um that's one of the things that like when i saw it i was like oh yeah because the suzuki i was looking at had incandescent bulbs and i was already like here's another thing i'm gonna have to replace i'm gonna and like are those terrible it's just not as good you know like look on your car you might not care all that much because it's a goddamn car but like you don't want to like you want every advantage you can get when you're when you're just sitting on a 500 pound piece of

shit going 70 80 miles an hour down the highway with 5,000-pound cars, right? LED, right? The high intensity. Yeah, yeah. I have a Suzuki. It's a Deere Z400S, and I'm watching a YouTube video. Mine has an aftermarket LED light, but I'm watching a YouTube video of the stock one, and it's at a place that has, we'll call it weak overhead lighting. Not a highway And it's at a place that has, we'll call it like weak overhead lighting, you know, not a highway where it's practically daytime on there, but you know,

where they're kind of spaced apart. And he's like, look, here's the headlight on. Here's the headlight off. There's no difference. The headlight doesn't light up. It doesn't have any effect on your visibility.

You're pretty much driving in the dark, but aftermarket, it's better. So much better. I ordered a, go ahead. I want to buy a dirt bike, a proper, not street legal dirt bike. And, um, I, there's this guy, Kyle Brotherson, he's on YouTube and he has a channel called the dirt bike channel. And, uh, he makes these videos. He does reviews. What I like about him most, there's two things. One, he rides a bike for at least one, but usually six months before he does a review. So he gets a lot of time on it. The industry standard is like, turn the key and start

your review. This guy lives with it for six months, fixes it, et cetera. And he buys like four bikes a year because he does this like professionally as a youtuber he has all this experience he's like the guy there's almost no one on earth no one on earth you'd rather get bike buying advice from than a youtuber who does this i went to his uh website and you can schedule a 15 minute zoom call with him for free. And I'm like, all right, I'll do it. So, so it ended up going 40 minutes and we just sat there and talked about pros and cons of all the bikes. I came prepared. I had like bullet points written down for him to read. Like, this is who I am. I'm this old. I weigh this much. This is my riding background. This is what it's like where I ride

like roots and rocks and shit and uh he went through all my bike options with me and pointed me in the right direction and it was freaking amazing and uh what did i'm trying to what did he think was the way to go because like i was looking at dirt bikes and i kind of settled that like if i ever because i'm moving you know in the fall or or at least soon thereafter. And I'm hoping that I go somewhere where dirt biking is a little more readily available. And I was looking at the KTM 450. So he put in me to the KTM 300 two-strokes. But our advice might be different.

There were a couple of things that burned into my head. One, I've maintained two-strokes a lot because of paramotors. And that's my comfort zone. Whereas the valves and overhead or who knows what on the four stroke is confusing to me. But the two stroke, like they're simple and I've got that. So I kind of like to be there. And he's like, cool, cool. And we talked about new versus used.

And he's like, yeah, these things, like almost all of them will go a hundred hours before you run into any problems. Then after that, there's always one thing or another, it can just be a rubber piece that's too old or a tube that's worn out or et cetera. So he's like, if you buy a hundred hour old bike, and that's what I was looking at, like 93 hours, 87 hours. He's like, just know you're about to enter fix it bill where, you know, you're constantly swapping out like one little thing after another is wearing out. And it's like, yeah, that's exactly what paramotors are like. Even if you just replace the top end and it's almost a new engine, all four engine mounts are ready to wear out one at a time. That belt is old.

This thing's old. That carburetor is sort of clogged. This is one thing after another, after about a hundred. I'm like, I want a new one. I want a new one. So he pointed me at the, basically the two KTMs, the XC and XCW, two strokes. And I think I'm going to get one. I reached out to my local KTM dealer and they went like, I don't know who the bad ones were for you, And they went like, I don't know who the bad ones were for you, but that's what they did to me. They added like $2,000 worth of fees on it. And I wrote them and I'm like, can you break down where all this is coming from? And the price lowered by $600.

And it's like, all right, now you're almost competitive with the other dealers in my area. If I could, I'd buy 10 minutes from here just to have a relationship with the local dealer and then i realized there's a math error as he broke down all the prices it added up to his original one he just switched the six and the nine or something the nine and the three so it lowered by 600 yeah and uh i'm like no he's still me and he keeps telling me we're not getting more we're not getting more these are the last of them like oh really is this the last 300 cc two-stroke that ktm's making it's weird in that situation like how do you tell someone that i'm not the fool that you normally deal with on a daily day a day-to-day basis without seeming like an asshole yeah he acts like him just same like he has the rare commodity he thinks he has this rare commodity it's the last one no you fuck shit i'm the rare commodity. He thinks he has this rare commodity. It's the last one. No, you fuck shit.

I'm the rare commodity. I'm the guy with the check. There's lots of you. There are you all over the place. I can go to another dealer in Henderson. There's a dealer in Durham. There's a dealer in Garner. I'm the rarity, a guy who wants to buy a bike.

Stop treating it like you have this one-of-a-kind diamond. I'll go somewhere else. I have no allegiance to you. You're trying to fuck me. So we'll see how this plays out. But that's where we are right now. For worse, I sent Woody the recipe for some plastic explosive. One way or another.

We're hitting the junk. I just don't like it. I was like, hey, I'm reaching out these days out the door. It's like, how can... Like Kyle said in his experience, look, I get that there's going to be an assembly fee and a transport fee, etc. But when they added up to $2,000,

the dock fee was $600. $600 to go to the DMV, I'll go. You're fucking me here. So I felt very fucked and we won't buy at that price i there's always some idiot that's pulling off and that's selling at like 10 hours in every time he uh interacted with me though he's like this is the last one oh sure it is sure it is ktm's not making them anymore i'll be a hundred bucks right now that this guy will sell you this fucking motorbike and you'll say oh yeah no i want that one and then you'll go to get it and then he'll be like oh yeah we

haven't got any in there we're gonna get some next month and then you'll be sitting there with your dollars in his hand and he would just be flocking you. It wouldn't surprise me at all. A lot of those dealers are super shitty. That's why you want to go to Conyers Mountain Motorsports. Kyle, you are pimping them out. I'm happy they hooked you up so much. They were so fucking cool.

They seem like good people over there at Conyers Motorsports. Not just good people. Not just good people. I sent Dustin over at the uh dustin over at the internet sales team a picture of my handlebars and he was like ah this i should i he went to the honda tech he like like looked over like like all the he's like this should fix it if that doesn't this will fix it and if none of that fixes it here's how much the parts cost like like and what what where does dustin work again? Over at Conyers Mountain Motorsports.

Conyers Mountain Motorsports. I got an email today. They just got a couple of used Sea-Doos in. They look fabulous. An orange one and a blue one. Where are you doing? I signed up for the email notifications.

Maybe they get them dirt bike in. I want you guys to know they got some new Polaris golf carts. Speed dudes are so much fun. They're not paying me any extra to say these things. I just really love those guys. I really appreciated it so much. They just paid you the original lump sum.

The original lump sum. That's what the Polaris golf buggy is for. It's his uh cash cash payment back in at the back of it yeah yeah just cool people this is uh this is back since the show started because we do such a long podcast another bit of the amended lawsuit from that blackhawks player got dropped and i thought it was all like the the people at the tippity top or like the coaches doing shit. That would be a good drop. But this one,

this one says, uh, in the years following the abuse of John Doe by Aldrich, he was subjected to humiliating trash talk by his teammates during scrimmages where coaches were present. Defendant, the Black Hawks, by and through its agents, permitted its players to repeatedly harass him by calling him a...

F.A.? What's start out here? He's a bundle of sticks? Yeah, asking if he couldn't focus because he, quote, wanted to suck someone off, end quote. And commenting that he should, quote, wanted to suck someone off and, quote, and commenting that he should, quote, go suck a dick, among other similar harassing statements.

That sounds a lot like any sport I've ever played. Yeah, because he knew he was abused by this guy. Go-karts at seven years old are rough in Australia. The reason... I was talking to somebody about this very recently like like maybe yesterday i don't know my my sleep schedule

is fucked but but i was talking about baseball and they're like so why don't you play high school ball and i was like well they raped a guy on the bus the year before i got there and so i didn't want any of that they literally raped a man a boy the fucking bus. Nothing ever came of that, by the way. I know his name. Don't say it, but that's fucked up. They knew. Wait, he was anally penetrated on the bus? With a bottle.

They stuck a Coca-Cola bottle in his ass on the bus. That is despicable. People do that shit all the time with sports and shit like that's fucked up that guy might be like that might fuck him up forever oh I hope so he was kind of an asshole now he's quite the asshole

that's a big punishment I actually didn't like him very much but you know I wasn't the most likable guy of all time or anything I'm not saying I would be immune to a good old-fashioned bottle fucking. Coca-Cola comes from Georgia. We got so many glass bottles floating

around here. I hope they use the glass bottle because the knurling on a regular bottle. That grippy shit right up here. Don't use a Gatorade bottle. It's got that lip, so it's just gonna pop in there.

You never know what they might stick in there. You never know. That's not what you think it is. Kyle enjoys a big chest. That's a Goomba. It's a Goomba. Get your mind out of the gutter. It's a traffic cone, obviously. When his truck is...

When I do my motorcycle practices in the parking lot i set up eight of these and you know i steer around them it's oh i know i thought it was more for like blocking off the road where the truck backs in your gigantic well don't drive over here someone's uh plugging their ass we were we were in a call last night um uh in the discord and we were like ah you know we're it was early in the morning like 5 a.m but we've all got messed up sleep schedules and we're like what do you want to do and somebody was like oh let's play this game we're like no it takes too long well let's play this game no that takes too long too i was like we could watch a movie

like 5 a.m you have all day what's the yeah right yeah we've been up all night and where is your oyster at five and ava goes well guys i gotta go i gotta go stretch my asshole out my boyfriend's coming over tomorrow and we're like wait what tomorrow a day in advance yeah she's like yeah i'm a i got this new black boyfriend he's got a huge fucking cock and i gotta stretch my asshole out for him before he gets started at 5 a.m that that day for the next day? Was she confused on the time cycle? Apparently, she was going to spend an hour preparing

for what was to come the next day. I just don't understand this. Does the preparedness wear off over the course of the day? It must. I don't know, but this man must have just a colossal cock. Unless she was preparing all day up until... Yeah yeah ava also wanted me to to clarify like we had this hilarious conversation where i was just like i was like you're trans right and uh and ava's like no no god damn it i'm a femme boy fem boy. And I'm like, well, la-di-da, excuse me.

So a fem boy is pronoun she. No. Oh, wait, you said she several times. I know, I can't help it. Okay, well, then he, then we'll be, then he is stretching his asshole out

for his boyfriend. Yeah. For what? 30 hours. I think, I think it's getting up at 5am. What is she? A man or not? Fucking churning butter.

Similar, similar process. Actually, that sounds, that doesn't sound pleasurable. I think, I think he enjoys it quite a bit. Um, um,

it's like a fucking chore seems like a huge amount of lead up a labor of love I think they call it but yeah it's always something wild in the old discord having a good time

they had another meltdown today some guy like what did someone do too nice there's no mods involved another meltdown today. Some guy like Christ, what did someone do? Too nice. There's no mods involved. Don't tell him. Just don't tell him.

You want me to tell you that or never mind. I don't know. Another person, you know, it doesn't matter. I could I couldn't really make tell me offline. He didn't get make a... Maybe you can tell me offline. He didn't get banned. He quit. Sometimes, look,

we're all a little autistic in there and some more than others. I tolerate it as best I can. Some of this is hitting close to home. Carry on. Much more autistic than you. There's people like... You know when there's like 12 people in a call and you've seen in our hangouts that we do once coming up. Look, hey, if you want to... I always tell people if you know when there's like 12 people in a call and like you've seen In our hangouts that we do

What's coming up look hey if you want to I always tell people if you want to join the $50 patron do it at the Beginning of the month that way you get Like the full benefits but If you like you know you stack And benjamin's like that The hangout is coming up

The real thing is just do it before The hangout like you don't want to sign up After we always do the hangout at coming up the real thing is just do it before the hangout like you don't want to sign up after the hangout we always do the hangout at the end of the month so that way someone doesn't join and then not get their hangout but if you were to join right today you'd get in on the hangout because it's coming up this weekend

I thought it was just because we procrastinated by tradition maybe that's not it that's not why literally with patreon's model it makes the most sense to do it at the end of the month so people don't get but because then what we do at the first month someone buys it the sixth of the month and then they have to do two months to get to their first one they'd be like yeah exactly and i also i always tell people like patreon does like a calendar month thing not like a 30 day thing.

So like if you sign up on the last day of the month, you just got one day of use out of this thing. So like if, if you want that, then that's fine. I get it. Like a lot of these guys are fucking millionaires who are in there. But like,

if you don't want that, then be forewarned. But, but yeah, hangouts coming up. You want to join in and, and like in those hangouts, there's always like maybe a guy or two where it's just like oh this guy doesn't have any friends in real

life this guy doesn't have any friends in real life we're we're his only real friends we're his only contact to the real world oh no oh no like there's that guy who like can't he'll like say a joke what he thinks is a joke and then there's like eight seconds of silence and you're just waiting. What's his name? Don't fucking bully anybody right now. Well, one of the people who does it I don't know who he's thinking of. I mean that guy obviously.

I thought you were talking about. He's gotten better. He's gotten better. He really has. Yeah, your bullying has helped him. It's like fact shaming. It's like fact-shaming. It's like he's paying for therapy with you weird motherfuckers.

Bully therapy. You unadjusted people are helping him become well-adjusted. Every once in a while someone joins that thinks that it's a joke that Woody will berate you for having a bad mic and it is

not a joke. There have been times where I'm like, I suddenly have to pee. You're making it up though. It's not like if someone has a really bad mic, I will tell them their mic is terrible and they shouldn't contribute to the conversation. But if you

want me to berate you, then show up in a fucking tractor interrupting everyone who talks with the noise fucking going on. You know what you're doing. You fuck. This is how he looks. This is the face. How can you be so fucking unadjusted, confused that you don't know you're on a goddamn tractor? There's 25 people in this call know you're on a goddamn tractor. There's 25 people in this call,

and you're on a tractor. The fuck is happening to you? You're on public transportation. You mute yourself. You mute yourself, you fuck. Because you know who you are. Now imagine that same level of anger and vitriol, but you're a waitress at a Denny's,

and you're coughing. The coffee was a little lukewarm. I saw him throw warm coffee in this woman's face one time. That's not true. And the manager came over, and I don't know how much cash Woody gave that man, but he said he apologized and walked away and fired the young lady. Enough to pay for the eye surgery. Enough to pay for the eye surgery. They made her clean the mess up before they fired her. Every once in a while. And Woody put his foot on her back while she was on her hands.

He was like, get it all. Get it all. There's fewer and fewer people I can beat up. This is clearly awful. Every so often, it's someone who's like, oh, that sounds like shit. And they're like, oh, I'm sorry. Okay, is that better? Okay, that's better.

But the tractor thing is not an exaggeration. The guy was on a tractor, and it was unbelievably – He was actually in a tractor. He was in a tractor with the camera there driving a tractor and every once in a while he would unmute to say something just be it's like my bigger issue was that he didn't he wasn't talking like he thought that was an acceptable level of like background noise to introduce to a conference call with 25 people on it. I'm not the crazy one. Well, I'm not the only crazy one. You shut the fuck up.

I paid $50. You slut. That one was totally fair. This gentleman also is here and we can't hear what the fuck he's saying because there's a tractor running. It's a great fucking time though. i look forward to i honestly do like like it's um how many do we do in a row three we did three in a row on sunday

and then we did two in a row on tuesday because for some people tuesday is just better yeah so we're there for like six hours and at the end of it i'm like ready to be done or whatever but still like i definitely enjoy uh doing them because it's it like ready to be done or whatever but still like i definitely enjoy uh doing them because it's it's cool to meet those guys and hang out with them and oftentimes like they got some cool fucking stories like there's always an expert in whatever uh field or uh topic we're on and uh not the like fake internet expert it actually. Although, I'll never forget when Woody asked an Israeli tank commander about the difference between

Israeli tanks and American tanks, and someone else tried to jump in and answer the motherfucking question. I know a little bit about tanks, right? I've driven three or four tanks. I've shot three or four tanks. I've been in tanks. I've driven three or four tanks i've lost three or four tanks i've been in tanks

i've driven them i fired them i'm zipping this bitch shut because there's an israeli tank commander about to answer it's his fucking job yeah he's been doing it for a decade or something like that and he's so polite that like he wouldn't step on anyone so it'd be like hey tell us the difference and he'd be like daily's actually a very the difference. And he'd be like, really big defense. And it's like, someone else jumps. Well, the real difference is that one is faster. And it's like, let the guy who fucking drives one tell us the difference.

There's no way you've driven both of those kinds of tanks. Can we let Tank Commander Goldstein in? Oh, you drove one in Battlefield. That's sweet. It was- It was- Can we let Tank Commander Goldstein in? Fuck you guys! Oh, who were- Oh, you play- You drove one in Battlefield. That's sweet. You know how many fucking Palestinians he blew away last week?

At some point, we, uh, stopped keeping count. You know? You know, I did- A- A school undercast is one, bro. There was Jordan there, man. It was, yeah. Ghibli rules. Hospital, one hospital, one school, counts as one, bro. There was Jordan there, man. This is Gimli rules. One hospital, one school is one. They've got like Gimli, Legolas.

That's the Israeli tank command. Oh, we lost Taylor. That only counts as one. That only counts as one. That only counts as one. You need to get a guy that's like an expert on fluid dynamics so he can work out what the fuck that reynolds number shit is you need to explain that dude we'll get a guy like that there's someone who's an expert on everything someone will say something dumb like how do farms

work and they'll be like i'm actually uh i work for the largest largest farm in all of Alabama, and I can explain all of it. And then someone else will be like, I actually watched a YouTube video, and I'll take the floor. I played a lot of the farm. I've got my farm on Facebook, and I'll tell you right now, lots of fertilizer, lots of water. And the guy from Alabama is just being polite. Like, well, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. Those things are totally right.

He's an expert. He's missing some. Those things are totally right. He's a farm expert. He's missing some of the intricacies. There's a cattle farmer, but there's also a guy who has big swaths of property that he runs, like soybeans. It's so cool to see the gamut that these people run because some of them are tech guys. We had a guy for a while who was from Abu Dhabi who who was some sort of fucking oil millionaire billionaire i don't fucking know and like like but then some of them were just like you know i i stole 50 from dad and i thought i like the guy he was from a really really rural area. And he was telling us what rural life was like, because I was kind of driving through it and getting exposed to it.

And I'll drive into it on a motorcycle, which is a better exposure. Anyway, and he had this like, he was just comparing and contrasting like alligator versus ostrich versus shark leather skin cowboy boots. And maybe there were some exotic ones in there. Do you remember any of the elephant boots? Yeah. It was the elephant boots.

He brought it. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't you say they were like old as shit back when you were allowed to make boots. That man has a boot collection that is worth no less than $10,000. Yeah. On the low end

yeah and uh it was a little exposure to like i don't know like what high society what high status is like in a super rural area at least that's how i'm painting it so i like it i like being able to go in there because pretty much everybody i play magic with and i'm playing casually you know on my own time is from there because i get everybody's friend codes and it's great when it's a bunch of new people and i'm like i'm the king of the castle every once in a while someone joins that discord who is an absolute world beater at magic they don't even like the show someone will join and be like i heard taylor wanted uh you know i listened to like one out of every six episodes but i'd like to see how good he is and i'm like oh no and then one of these guys

in particular i i think i think i've i've gone five and eight verse him which i'm proud of because like you'll see him play in the decisions he makes and it's like no, he knows exactly what I'm about to do. And he's anticipating, oh, no, he knows what I'm doing the turn after this. Thankfully in the poker game, one of the better players, I'm not allowed to say he's the best player because Dirty gets upset. One of the better players. The best player, some would say. That's what i think words of the show confirmed he had his on board also he had to leave he had to leave the discord to like focus on some other

stuff and i said no now he doesn't play poker with us anymore because like i'm doing pretty well to poker game now i won a grand last week i think that was like where i evened out at i had one loss day and like the rest were all win days and uh and poker is fun again because i just couldn't beat that guy like if he i i dirty maybe dirty's probably being nice to me and that's why um i don't lose a lot of money against Dirty. I'll just say that. He's just sandbagging you, buttering you up, so you think you're good, and then you're going to be like,

all right, let's have a 50 grand tournament. He'll let me know if I'm good or not. At the end of the night, he'll be like, you played well tonight, Kyra. You got a three-bet bet. What are you doing? What are you doing? He'll let me know when I fuck up.

Dirty definitely knows more about poker than me. Um, he also won about a gram last week. Um, but, but yeah, we have a fucking sick poker game we play. So if anybody's into poker,

um, it's, I want to do high stakes magic. Oh, they'll do it. Like they'll do it. I only want, there's three,

there's two people on the list that I refuse to play. One of the guys. I've played this too, but I'm not good at anything. One of the guys in there plays, he does something magic related professionally. That's his job. Yeah, I know. He's good. Oh, that's the guy?

Yeah, he's really fucking good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what he does professionally? I don't. I don't remember the specifics. I don't really know the pro tour. He's a body magician. It's not like he's a magician.

I'm a professional magic player and it's just him at work blowing up a giraffe. I don't remember specifically. He procures cards or something. It's not like he plays the game for a living he said his knowledge was encyclopedic so that sounds rightish yeah he does something magic related uh for a living um he was the one who actually asked me if i wanted to do some sort of a magic um like tournament or something that involved money and i was just like

no i'm not really good yeah in all seriousness it'd be better to just be for fun i still want to jump in on one of those. I haven't had a Saturday in the day to jump in. Oh, we can do another one. Yeah. And this weekend might be short notice, but like,

yeah, I'll let them know if you want to do one, like next weekend, we'll set up another magic tourney for sure. Yeah. Next weekend I can do, we could do, we can slip that in like right after the PKA hangout.

Well, it's the hangouts this weekend. Oh yeah. The hangout is this weekend. That's why I have to rush home from my grandparents' house on Sunday morning. It's on Sunday? Yeah. TKA Hangout. Well, the Hangout's this weekend. Oh, yeah, the Hangout is this weekend. That's why I have to rush home from my grandparents' house on Sunday morning. It's on Sunday? Correctamundo.

Yes, sir. Sunday and then Tuesday, the 27th. Because the next Sunday after that is August 1st. Yeah, and that would fuck some people over. Let's do it Saturday. I can't. I'm at my grandparents' house. Spending some time with them in the country.

Going to gain a couple more pounds. I don't know how to handle this. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. It'll work out. It always does. I'm going to live stream motorcycles. I don't think anybody...

And you'll be the guy with the road noise system. I'll be on mute. When I was at Cisco. I might do that. I would actually enjoy that. If you had the action cam pointed forward. I would point the phone at me. I can charge it while I'm on the bike.

And I have a Bluetooth mic. Obviously, I'd want it muted most of the time. You should do a setup like this. I have a GoPro setup. and it goes to my phone and then i can stream to a server at my house and you can just take it like anywhere it's fucking good setup you just need to take this gopro you just take the gopro along so i can so i live stream to my free cams while i'm masturbating in the toilet nice this is a discord call though i think i think

adding a gopro might add some complication plus i freaking hate them i've used gopros a lot and they fail so much and they're better than they used to be oh they get worse every year i think the move now is to buy one a model year old after the firmware has worked out all the bugs like that's a normal thing to do but if you get this year's then it's just gonna fucking not work when you press the on button all the time it's a bit weird it's like uh it's like always trying to update and like doing fucking weird shit but i think it's i think it's it's i think it's better now but when i first got it it was sort of munted yeah i like i hate it i hate it so much i i have a lot of gopro frustrations i've used them a ton slush i wanted to ask about your glasses have you all do you wear contacts

ever nah i fucking hate shit touching my eyes really okay so you yeah damn you don't have a point of comparison have you always worn big glasses like that? Because I don't like all the... I used to wear the same sizes like yours. When I first got them, I had those. And then I found this website where they just do heaps of glasses. And she's like, do you want some different glasses? And I'm like, okay, all right, let's get some. And she ordered just fucking heaps of pairs.

Like red ones and like heaps of... I mean, the dog ate like three pairs. Yeah, I just ended up ordering heaps of them if you want to probably get a maybe a deal I don't know but antagonist in the discord he is a glasses

man that is what he does for a living oh shit I gotta talk to I play magic for him sometimes I gotta talk to him and he didn't let me know what a dick but i was buying them from like a local optometrist and they're like oh yeah it's 200 bucks for a pair and so they test your eyes and then they charge you 200 bucks for a pair of glasses they went online and you just put in your prescription they're fucking 15 dollars each

and they're probably coming from the same place and they they are how bad is your vision dollars like is your vision pretty bad so i should know uh i have a stigmatism so it's like it's not my man bad but it's like it's bad when i'm trying to read like small text but i just wear them all the time so i can't be fucking taking them on and off because like'm legally blind. And so like all this stuff out here is just gobbledygook nonsense. And I hate it. I had to wear my, I have to wear my glasses right now. Cause you need to give your eyes a break every so often.

So I'm doing that. But I am tired of all of this empty space. That's like disorienting when you switch from contacts back to glasses. And so I want to get glasses like yours, like the big, as honestly, even bigger, as big as possible just like there's very little literally as big as possible so that i don't have to do

can you get glasses that sit closer to your face to achieve the same effect i not really because my you don't think so it would go up there's still so much nonsense going on out here i don't like it like turning when i i uh this was like maybe monday this week that i woke up just like allergies my eyes stinging i slept i sleep my contacts because they're sleepable and i woke up and i was like this is one of those days that like it's it's over for these contacts and for me at least if i take my contacts out and then try and start a new day with glasses, I feel like... I want to do a test. Look sideways so your camera gets a profile view.

And guys, tell us if his glasses are farther away from his eyes than mine. No, like this. Oh. Are they the same? Are they different? Yeah. Yours are closer, Woody. Well, I can't move it too close, otherwise it gets distorted. Because I also have astigmatism, and so this lens I had to pay a whole bunch for compared to this one.

And also, I paid an extra $200, I want to say, for thinning treatment so I could get the thinnest glasses available. And they don't even closely fit in this set. Like there's over half of the girth of the glasses is sticking out towards me. So it may seem like – oh, go ahead. I'm sorry to cut you off. If the thinning treatment also makes them lighter, I place a lot of value on that. It does. It does. It does.

And I like that. But I'm just... I'm so fucking... I'm genuinely so fucking pissed that I can't get LASIK. I was hanging my hat on that as like the final frontier of like, I'm going to get to like... Okay, you get it. Because my corneas are too thin.

And so they're afraid to operate on my eyes. He said it wasn't a good idea and so i'm not going to roll the dice with my eyes yeah i uh in mexico he'll do it i'd rather have like fucking the most british teeth on earth than blind i think you should go to england get your dental work done in mexico to get your get your vision work like dental work in england is like a chisel because even like the richest english people like i've been watching a bunch of top gear recently and jeremy clarkson has more money than god like he's unbelievably rich and his teeth are they're disgusting and then simon

cowell has perfect teeth and people give him a hard time for his teeth being too perfect oh well fuck that there's nothing wrong with having perfect teeth it it kind of you know like it's almost like they can't there is a limit kyle often points that too white is too white you do you end up looking like a fucking Pez dispenser. It looks weird as fuck. That's true. I'm meaning more like the structure, like the straightness of your teeth.

You don't want it like blinding white. Even if it's perfectly super straight, then sometimes that seems inhuman a little bit. You end up looking like that ventriloquist doll with like the no... well that's been that's that that looks shop to me no no that's him uh post uh eye surgery he got like a really botched like eye botox thing and so now he looks weird as hell yep yeah it was the teeth being i feel like someone's mocking him by making them whiter than white.

No, they're super white. But it's almost overexposed. I also see his cheeks are reflecting and his forehead's reflecting. His old teeth were good. He looks like he's melting. Yeah, his old teeth were great. His old teeth were perfect.

Well, I don't know. How far back do you have to go to see his old teeth, though? No, no, he's just soft. Or I guess those have probably been worked on, too, is what you're saying. Exactly. I'm saying 10 years ago, those aren't his original teeth. We need to go back really

far. He looks like his eyebrows are sad. The Pearl Dental Clinic. He looks like his eyebrows are sad. The pill dental clinic. Yeah, those second ones are much, much better. They're not perfect. Is that Simon Cowell we're still looking at? No.

Oh, it does say it, Simon Cowell, under the words. Nah, I think it's a different voice. But that's not him. Okay. He looks good there. The glasses hide the droopy eyes. Yeah, yeah, they do. He looks good there. The glasses hide the droopy eyes. Yeah, they do. Those Harry Potter glasses.

Why would you want those? You look at the now and then one. He just looks like he's gotten fat. Yeah, well, we all get fat sometimes. I'll be fat all my fucking life. I've been fat all my fucking life.

That's the way to do it. Yeah, you don't like them? I love weed as fuck. The Simon Cow teeth? Mostly his eyes. I'm okay with his teeth. I have fake teeth. I don't understand for this. The teeth jump out to me and the eyes

don't. The eyes don't jump out to you? no, you guys were all talking about I could see that they're changed I just didn't see what was wrong with them he looks like he's had a stroke can you pull him up again? it's like that

it's pulled down a little bit he looks like he's about to do an offensive impression oh, I do see what you're saying. They're kind of... Oh, you're not so good at singing, are you? He makes the impression with

big, bulk teeth. I see what you're saying. It's not great. It looks like his eyebrows have gotten... Yes, that one. That one right there that the cursor is on right now you can see laying down right everyone's eyes are a little on the left on the left you can see like where all of the wrinkles have been taken out of his forehead and because it's so

tight up there now that his eyes are like hanging lower than they otherwise would okay i i see everything you're saying but it didn't jump out to me without that prompt. Well, maybe we're being over. Maybe we've made a rare misstep and we're being overly critical of someone we don't know. I think. Yeah, it does look like his forehead's a little inflated and then that's made his eyes sink a little deeper.

Like, I get it now. To be honest, like that picture. Have you ever seen these bogdanoff dudes these so they're like oh yeah like french let's say you spell it they google that they're uh they're like french tv stars or something and these cunts have the worst plastic surgery it's uh the bogdanov brothers or something yeah there's like slush wrote it in the chat oh yeah that is bad yeah you're feline i don't even look human anymore it's so many times in plastic surgery when someone doesn't look quite right i defend it and say like well you don't know you don't know maybe you know that if. Maybe, you know, that if they never had plagic surgery, they wouldn't look so hot either.

I know now they look bad in an unnatural way, but the natural way would be bad too. But this, this is outrageous. That guy looks like he's about to perform at a minstrel show. So fucking offensive. I wonder how he feels about it. Like if he could snap his fingers and undo all of it would he do it yeah well i mean because they're i guess they're twins and so maybe that was like a little race

between them oh you get your cheeks done i get my cheeks done you get your lips done i get my lips done but now they look like they're not even related they look like if he feels good about that he has a mental illness like that's that's like he doesn't even look like a human dude a bunch of people who get surgeries like that definitely have some sort of i guess dysphoria dysmorphia whatever it would be where like they clearly don't see their post-surgery self the way everyone else does where it's like you know everybody thought you looked fine beforehand and now you look ghoulish yeah but they see it as like a net like have you seen that guy who wants to be the ken doll

yep yeah that guy and he like he wants to be a ken doll so hard that he can't go to the gym he can't be bothered to go do bench presses or lift. And so he gets like pec implants that get weird as hell. He gets, I think this guy got bicep implants, tricep implants, but you can't get forearm implants that I know. And so he looks goofy as hell. I need to see this guy.

Let me try and find him. The real life Ken doll. You can probably find it with that. Justin, Justin Jedlica is his name. He looks fucking awesome. 40 years old and he looks

absurd. He's awful. There's a guy called Darren Lyons. Darren Lyons. He was on Big Brother, I think in the UK. He got a fake six-pack put in, but he's a bit of a fat bastard wait i'm sorry i'm so sorry this this guy's got like a uh he has he's got like a

big beer gut and then he has like a six-pack on top of it like implanted on it oh i've seen that that's like a big fat chef who just like layered over top what looks like that armor they would put on fat generals in the Roman times to get them half definition. But look at that. Look at this guy. This Ken doll guy doesn't look natural. What does he look like otherwise? I want to see it.

I want to see the other multiverse version of him where he never got surgery. He looks like someone pretending to be human. Like, look at those packs. I do think I like the original version more. Yeah.

The original version has more potential to like, he could just hit the gym a little bit. Even if he didn't get as big as the new version, he'd look really good. 1 million percent agree. Look, he's got broad shoulders. I don't know if maybe he's short.

It doesn't matter. He's got that V taper. He could have built up a nice physique instead of implanting, you know, are those implants on his back? Of course it is. You didn't catch those before. Oh no.

Oh, what the hell? The side angle looks terrible, but the straight on looked. What is that bad? Yeah. There. See the straight on looked not that bad. Yeah, there. See, the straight on version, I was like, kind of overdone. Doesn't fit his frame, but meh.

But the side version looked awful. What was Ice-T doing there? I think he's got a morning show now. Did you see Ice-T's daughter? Have you seen Ice-T's daughter? Is she another example of this? Smoking hot? Google Ice-T's daughter.

No, she's an infinite. Infinite. Infinite. She looks fucking like him. Answer the question. another example of this smoking hot google ice tea's daughter no she's an infinite she's infinite infant oh i can like him uh answer the question the picture is the question no no two to the right yeah yeah that one look at that look at that no no no the one where the the coco is holding him that look at that little girl you know that's ice tea's daughter she does have the same facial structure as Ice-T, which is expected as he's the father. She's a fucking clone of Ice-T.

I expect her to see her on the next episode of Law & Order, like, yo, I don't know about this one. Do-do-do-do-do. Oh, shit. Oh, no. That show is so fucking depressing, man. There's a rapist on the streets. Go ahead. I watched that recently, you tell that show is so fucking depressing there's a rapist on the streets go ahead i watch i watch that like recently and it sort of just like scales up at the start it's just like woman raped and then it's just like woman mass raped by entire country who then went

on to rape 500 million other women and kill 40 children it's like but like this is really like there it's almost like they've got that like fucking the rudo thing or like the dragon ball z sort of shit where it's like we're going on to fight the bigger and bigger enemy but the enemy is rape and so they're just coming up with more and more fucked up shit and i'm watching it and i'm getting through to like season seven and i'm like this is so fucking depressing like this is the worst show ever show about catching rapists you can't just catch the the rapist that jumps out of the bushes a hundred times you need a guy that like clips toes off and and yeah them and stuff like that yeah it's just getting like like one one was like uh a dad like

raped his daughter and then his daughter like fucking hired some maid or something to kill the fucking kill the mom and the dad and then the the maid came in and shot the mom and the dad but the bullet went through the dad's head and killed the fucking chick as well the the daughter and it's just like it's like so convoluted and so fucked up yeah why put yourself through that just watch king of the hill yeah. It's such a depressing show because it's just getting worse and worse every episode. It makes me feel like a bad person.

Well, you guys want to call it a show? Yep, I got things to do. Slush, where can everybody find all your stuff? Twitch.tv forward slash Slush Puppy. YouTube forward slash Slush, where can everybody find all your stuff? Twitch.tv forward slash Slush Puppy. YouTube forward slash Slush Puppy. All the Slush Puppies on Twitter, Instagram,

and TikTok, I guess. I never post on it, though. Hit them up. Follow them. The best guy. Yeah. Greatest guy. Thanks for having me on, guys. I appreciate it, man man Always a good show

Yep PKA 5