Painkiller Already - PKA 554 Kyle's Poo Counter, Woody's Next Trip, Ohlympics

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

PKA 554. We had a guest on schedule. We're going to cover that in a second. Taylor? This episode is brought to you by Express, VPN, and SmartMouth. We'll hear more about them later. Back to you, Woody. So we're going to do this a day early.

Kyle is sick, which is what we'll kick off with. So that's why we're guest list. We had to move around. Kyle, what's up? I'm so fucking sick uh i'm a little mixed up on my days at this point because i've just been in bed like continuously um and and vomiting and um but i think it was yesterday wasn't it when i got sick like i think you told us about it yeah i think yesterday at like 11 a.m. I had a Chick-fil-A sandwich

and I think of Chick-fil-A as like the top tier of fast food. It is. So overrated. In the world of fast food, it's top tier. We're not going to have this discussion. Look, they just poisoned me and I love them more than I care more for them than I do you right now.

You keep that you temper this down. Wendy's right now. You keep that. You temper this down. Wendy's is better. Okay, Wings. You and Wings are on an island over there eating your chili. That is insane. Chick-fil-A is about...

The only thing Wendy's does poorly is cream products. Their Frosties are just bullshit. I don't know if they have anything else. First of all, their Frosties are the best thing that Wendy's have. No, they taste like the powder they're from. They don't make any progress at all. There's no improvement.

If it's meant to replicate some sort of ice cream or milkshake, they are missing the mark entirely. It's meant to replicate a Frosty, and Dave Thomas. It is flavored dirt. God rest his soul. He would be rolling. He is rolling in his grave hearing you talk this blast me about the frost, about the frosty,

but Chick-fil-A on the other hand, top fucking tier. Those chicken sandwiches are fucking incredible. I usually get the spicy chicken deluxe, but, but yesterday I just got like a grilled chicken sandwich and, and some fries. And it wasn't long between the time I ate it

and I started feeling like, ooh. Was there anything off about it? It was so good. It was so good. It was so fucking tasty. I didn't finish it. I ate three quarters of it and I put it in the fridge and I was like, I'm coming back this later. This was delicious.

I threw it out today. I was like, let me get this poison out of my house. Come on. You're like, I probably ate all the poison parts. It was good. Remember when Homer bought that eight foot long sandwich or whatever and by day three, it's literally

rotten and he's eating it. Then she's bringing it to bed with him. Yeah. Homer! You gotta stop eating that sandwich. Alright so you stop so i don't know at some point i just it started with diarrhea and like i don't get too graphic but it's not even like it's it's just water there's just water coming out of the wrong end of me it's just clear and it is uncomfortable and it's mostly like cramps. I have these awful cramps that are just super painful in my stomach. And I hadn't thrown up

yet until like three or four hours after that. I didn't think I was going to throw up. I was like, this is just a little stomach bug. This will go right away. And then I started throwing up and it was so awful. Like there's like tears pouring down my face as i'm vomiting into the toilet and i think it's all over so i get up and i go to the sink and i'm like splashing cold water my face and it hits me again and i have to vomit in my sink and and so now i'm like do we try to get the chunks out or get them down get them out this is out of you or the toilet we're talking about out of the sink because i have now vomited into my bathroom sink i guess that question depends on how good of a chewer you are well yeah apparently i don't chew very well and and i'm gonna tell you you

could look at what's what was in my sink and you could determine exactly what i had eaten that's how i know it was remember when tony was like it came up all undigested that's how this was it had come up completely undigested there's like bits of lettuce bits of tomato little shredded bits of chicken oh that's what did you eat the night before if we can somehow get the blame away from yeah um shit i'm probably wrong i thought food poisoning i think i just went to sleep i think i just went to sleep and i didn't eat at all because like we had done remember i had been up for like 27 hours straight yeah and we did that the pkn and the hangout and i was just wiped i was literally falling asleep in my chair sitting here so i think i just went

straight to bed and um i think i woke up that night and had like something like from a can. Like I had some chicken soup or something. Like nothing that could have made me sick. I think I had a can of soup out that I had been like crushing with my hand. And I was just like, there's no way I'm putting this dented ass can back in. Let's just have some chicken soup. I think that's what happened. Or was it mushroom?

It doesn't matter. But yeah, it had to be the Chick-fil-A. It had to be the Chick-fil-A. And had to be the Chick-fil-A and I'm very disappointed in them. They're such a good corporation. I guarantee I could call and be like, hey, your Chick-fil-A made me sick and they hooked me up with some another sandwich.

I'm not turning my back on a corporation that has been so wonderful to me for years and years. One of these makes a better spicy chicken sandwich than Chick-fil-A does. Are we back to this? That is insane. You're so wrong. You're so not wrong. I have had both. There is nothing on the Wendy's menu I would pick

over just, not even a spicy. Nothing. Your spicy is better. Even a regular chicken sandwich, not even the deluxe, the one with just the two pickles. I'd take that over anything. The Chick-fil-A sandwich is so tender, and the breading is almost sweet. They brined it in fucking pickle juice. It is so wonderful. The Wendy's sandwich is so tender and it's the breading is almost sweet they've brined it in fucking pickle juice it is so wonderful the chick the the windy sandwich is like look is like almost the lowest tier of chicken sandwiches like it's better than don't get me wrong it's better than burger king

it's better than mcdonald's i eat it occasionally and i do enjoy it but i would never have a windy sandwich over a chick-fil-a sandwich it It's night and day. The lettuce you get on a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich is misshaped. It's not sandwich shaped at all. It sticks out the side. They lazily just grabbed an entire lettuce leaf and stuck that shit on there.

That's not how you make a sandwich. That's how I make sandwiches. Lazy cunts at Chick-fil-A. You need to get a piece of lettuce that is somewhat appropriate for the size of a sandwich. That's how I make sandwiches. Lazy cunts at Chick-fil-A. You need to get a piece of lettuce that is somewhat appropriate for the size of a sandwich. I've seen that lettuce. It's usually, you know the white part of the lettuce that you throw away if you're at home?

The translucent part from the bottom? That's the Wendy's special. They'll sit that right on top of it and squirt a little mayonnaise on one third of it. A little mayonnaise? That is not a wendy's sandwich if anything they put too much mayonnaise on there it's one of my criticisms it's so you know what you know what the worst thing i mean the tomatoes head to head between wendy's and

chick-fil-a i mean they're they're all fast food so it's not like the chick-fil-a tomatoes or anything to write home about but like the tomatoes you get at mcdonald's wendy's burger king it is just wet flavorless mush there's no crispness there's nothing there at least you get a little bit of that with the thicker cut chick-fil-a tomatoes the the tomatoes that were in my vomit sink look better than a wendy's tomato i'd rather eat kyle's tomato vomit than go to wendy's i'd rather eat Kyle's tomato vomit than go to Wendy's. I'd rather eat the vomit out of my sink

than have a Wendy's chicken sandwich. Wendy's fucking sucks. Actually, it's better than McDonald's. I'll give it that. It is. Oh yeah, for sure. It's better than Burger King. Burger King is the lowest tier, most garbage fast food place.

All that might be better than Wendy's is Cookout. And I think they're twice the calories. Yeah, we don't have the Cookout here, but I've heard good things. They're good. That's the barbecue fast food place. It's an interesting combination of things. Burgers. Their whole ordering process is weird.

It's not like, you want a burger and fries? Because that's what everybody does. They're like, hey, you want a burger and a quesadilla or maybe a burger and some uh some this place sounds fun you know how like there's something about like the doordash postmates world that makes you order way too much food cookout has figured it out too it it seems natural for your drink at cookout to be a milkshake. Like their combos are like two cheeseburgers works and a peanut butter, like Reese's peanut butter milkshake probably.

And it's, you'd think that is an outrageously stupid order, but at cookout it's par for the course. And they've got like a ton of milkshake flavors. It's one of those places that has like, I don't know, 30, 40, 50 of them. It's like 30 some prebuilt milkshakes. And then if you want to invent your own, they're probably down. I remember one steak and they closed all the steak and shakes around here a couple of years ago.

Can't even blame that on lockdown. Like they were already going out of business here for some reason. I don't know if steak and shakes where you are, Woody. I think it is where Kyle is. It's really good. Their shakes are great. Their steak burgers are really good. And I remember like once I was like i'm gonna treat myself i'm gonna get a big like oreo shake from there and

like i looked up the stats of the nutrition on it and it was like this should be illegal like this is this is about 1200 110 added grams of sugar or something like that. It's like, I can have this and then if I don't have a Tootsie Roll until next Saturday, I'll eat it out. Steak and Shake is a few hours from me. It's not that great. My problem was that I don't like

shoestring french fries. That's fair. You've got to grab a whole handful of them. I don't know. Wendy's is somewhere in the middle. They're definitely not McDonald's thin, but they're not Wendy's, whatever fucking shape that is,

like off the waffle iron nonsense. Oh, I like Chick-fil-A waffle fries. You get two of them. They give you two French fries. You go to McDonald's and you order two large fries and they give you hundreds of little ones ones at at a fucking chick-fil-a they actually give you two large fries in a fucking barrel and they're like here you go okay i will i am on woody's team here because every once in a while you get fries from chick-fil-a in that little

pouch and you see one enormous half potato like cut horizontally and you reach in and you pull that out and then it's empty it's just it's like there's like the little corners and shavings and like two other mid-sized ones i'm going for vomit or shit one of the show it's in i feel terrible for them that's uh food i haven't had food poisoning in oh man probably almost 10 years but it's one of those things that just like the stomach flu when you get it you're like oh how did i let myself forget the torture like i didn't take my health i took my health for granted on the on the flu thing i've i don't get i get sick or sniffles or colds but like an actual flu where like you throw up and stuff,

very rare five years, seven years. Like it takes not, not super often. Cause I guess I don't see that many people, but when it happens, just like you said, Oh my goodness,

I forgot how dreadful being sick is. It is, it is the worst. People are like, the masks are coming back now because of COVID rising again and the Delta variant and all that stuff. And I'm like, I don't care.

I, I wasn't sick. I didn't even get the sniffles last year. Yeah, I was fine. I had zero symptoms of anything. Partly, I didn't go out as much. Partly, when I did, I wore a mask and everyone else did. It was great. I'm fine with it. We need to eat some dirt to keep our immune system

strong. As if I ever stopped yeah i mean like and even the normal flu like where you're not vomiting is like this sucks but like and now working from home i would hate it but like before it was like i get to stay home from work this is worth it it's the stomach flu the one where you vomit and have the shits real bad really any sickness where you have to keep going to the bathroom like every 30 minutes is miserable. It's the worst. Your asshole starts getting raw because you're having a bunch of

unsatisfying sick person shits. That does sound... On the other hand, any kind of illness where you have to be weighted on hand and foot in bed has an upside. There's an... Get yourself a nice sprained ankle and just's an actually, yeah, get yourself like a nice sprained

ankle and just start getting like breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed. Sprained ankle. That's the ticket. I need to shit again. Carry me. The doctor said not to put any weight on it. I'll stay with you at the office. You can hop on one foot to the toilet and get it done.

But you're supposed to be spending most of your time with that baby elevated. So that's the angle you work. It's like, baby, you know what? I'm supposed to go downstairs and cook? No, no. You have to wait on my hand and foot while I elevate this thing. I shouldn't even be changing the channel. I like that.

Honey, can you find me a better video? Honey! Honey! I'm not going to watch any more Storage Wars. I'm not going to say it again! I remember... Oh, that was kind of a cool show. Oh, I was going to say, the worst thing to get that I haven't had in a long time is strep. We've said that before.

I remember a few years ago, it was probably four or five years ago now now my brother got strep so bad that he like had a giant cup next to his bed so that he could spit into it because it hurt too bad to swallow his own spit and he was like he was horrible just like once every two hours i'd start to feel like I was dying from lack of hydration. And so I'd just be like, Was he on something to sell him? He took way too long to go to the doctor and get like amoxicillin or penicillin or what? Because you can knock strep out pretty quick. How old was he?

At this point, probably early 20s, 22. I did that same thing. I've told this before, I think, but I'm off at college. I'm 19 years old. It's the first time I ever make any of my own medical decisions. Part of that, you just say, mom, I hurt. And you know, she makes the decisions from there. And, uh, I'm at college and I don't treat my strep and I let it go and I let it go. And I thought untreated that you would just just beat strip. Not me. Not me. And not only could I not swallow, I would swallow my uvula, and then it would come back because it's attached like a coin on a string.

And then I couldn't breathe well through it. And you could feel it like a marble that you would shoot, like, you know, going forward and back. And I went to the doctor to get the penicillin or whatever acillin it was. And my gosh, in like three hours, I was halfway better. I was shocked at how quickly it worked. And that's when I discovered that medicine is not fake. Antibiotics, totally worth it when you're dealing with strep. Wouldn't you know it?

Because strep is awful. You take ibuprofen for your headache. And I know I've said all this before. And like, did it even fix it? I don't know. Two hours later, you feel better, but you would have anyway. Like it's subtle. You take ibuprofen for like muscle soreness.

I don't even know if I can tell the difference. I just do it to shut my wife up. I can't. But, you know. That sounds bad. A strap, a moxa cylinder or something, magic. Kyle, was that your first poo break?

That is the first of the show. It will not be the last. All right, there's one. We have the technology to put a counter up? Was it unsatisfying? It was very unsatisfying because I could feel that there's a lot of anger

in my lower intestine. It's just, nah, we're going to stay in here for now. It's like a gurgling pressure of crampiness on the left and right side of where my belly button is, in my gut. And then every joint in my body, like the major joints, like your hips, lower back, where your spine is, are just super swollen and inflamed. My neck is super bad. And the chills were the worst part. Like I would, I would be in bed, like all bundled up and I'll be like, all right, we're warm now.

But then I'd have to get up and go to the bathroom. And when I would, by the time I got back into the bed, I would just start shivering uncontrollably. And it would last for like three minutes of me just going, and then I would fall asleep and I would wake up and I'd be so goddamn drenched in sweat. I had to get up and change clothes. Jesus Christ. That's worse than any food poisoning I've ever had. It was mostly vomiting and shits for me. It's the worst I can ever remember having.

It's just like that episode of The Sopranos when Tony was just having a meltdown. So if you want to go look at a boat tomorrow, we can go handle that. On the bright side, given that it's food poisoning, you're like, the light at the end of the tunnel is there.

You'll get through this quick. I think we're going to be good by the time the show is over. Right now, I feel so much better than I did four hours ago and on and on and on, right? Like yesterday when I texted you guys and was like, I'm not going to make it, I felt like I was going to die. Like I really – I was like, I can make it, right? I can make it, right?

And then I went – And that was right about when I was vomiting. And I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not making it because I knew I was going to be I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not making it. Because I knew I was going to be vomiting during the show. I was like, we're going to have to get up and vomit during the fucking show. I have a question. When we moved the show for you, what was your internal honest feeling?

I was like, on one hand, I was thinking, like, I really hope that I'm well tomorrow. Yeah. Because, like, I wouldn't want you to move it and then, you know. And have it not work out. And have it not work out. And so part of me was like, they probably should have just done it today. They probably should have just done it without me. Because I feel like I'm going to die.

But I didn't want to be like, no, I had that kind of food poisoning that lasted three, four days. I just felt like I was going to seem like such a pussy. You would have seemed like a pussy. Yeah. I'm going to have to turn a live stream on while I'm taking violent shit. I'm not lying.

I have had moments where it's like, guys, I have whatever, X catastrophe I have like, whatever, X catastrophe I'm dealing with here. I can't make the show tonight. And it's always, no, no, no, no. We'll move it to 930. It's like, no, or I could just have a day off.

Just to say. God, I haven't had a day off since yesterday. I don't have another one until tomorrow, guys. I don't had a day off since yesterday. I don't have another one until tomorrow, guys. I don't like missing shows. I rarely miss shows. I know. You never do.

But even for my honeymoon, that Thursday night when I was sitting there at dinner, looking at my phone, Thursday, 8.30 p.m. And I'm not doing the show. This is so bizarre. Like, it just feels weird. You get in such a habit. I like making it. I don't like missing. You feel like you miss out.

Or at least I do. Where it's like, you know, maybe I could have made the show better. Maybe I could have, you know, added something to it. Maybe there was a hilarious section that I would have had something like a nice bit for. If it's well planned for, I think it's a neat change of pace. If we had two guests

that you guys partnered with, it might be better than the show where I was there. Maybe I come back with a new story or some growth that contributes to the show in some way. That's true. I really enjoyed your whole trip that you went on last month. I thought that was really cool. I'm glad you said that

because there's one coming up. Another one? So you went from tentative on PKN Tuesday to for sure. Where are you going now? It's called the Mid-Atlantic Back Road Discovery Route. The fact that your trip has a name is suggestive of a long trip.

It's not. It's not. It's shorter. It's going to be like nine days this time. What the fuck? Nine days. I thought you were going to be like, you go there in the afternoon and you get back late at night. That's a short trip. It goes from Virginia to New York.

It's going to be me and two other guys. There's no way to get. No, no, no. It goes from Raleigh, North Carolina. It does. Yes. It does.

Yeah. So there's a trap. I've set out tentative dates. I probably shouldn't. I'm thinking before I talk here, but we're going to try and do the travel. You want to set up right here with your sniper rifle. Right. Right.

With your tire strip. So I'm going to get a hotel for Thursday, but I might miss a PK and because it's a camping trip, which is kind of outside my control because I'm. I'm not setting where we can. Yeah, of course not. Yes, that's not to do that but um yeah i mean pkn with only two people is a fucking breeze remember when we did that when he was in prison by the time you're like 55 minutes and you're like oh shit we're done like yeah yeah it's um four hours is 10 times harder than one you wouldn't think so but that's that's my math oh yeah sure for sure because it's like

well we've covered everything and uh we are an hour and a half in it's like working out where it's like that if you just did one by 12 you'd be like i could run a marathon well that's not to say that the last time i did the trip i was the fast rider right so i was out ahead and i was always kind of waiting for my friend to catch up this time I'm on the other end of that equation. The guy I'm with is so fast. And I just rode with him last weekend. I'm like, how does he even do that?

Because I feel like I've reached the maximum speed that someone can take a gravel corner. Like I'm sliding around this corner already. How does one go faster? He seems to know. I don't know. Maybe after a thousand miles with him, I'll figure something out or die. This is why I've got no business riding with you guys. You'd be like, where's Kyle? I don't know. I go so slow.

I'm like, why does everyone have to go exactly 55? Why can't we just slow it down a little? I really enjoy 50. So, oh, I don't know. We keep bouncing around time. Anyway, this thing's coming up. It's next month. I'm pretty jazzed about it.

Jackie instantly said yes. Let me dive into that for a second because i think it's interesting i think that part of jackie's like sense of identity and self-worth is being the wife that everyone wishes they had and that works out really well for me like selfishly it's just like she just says yes to stuff you know like i'll explain how my bike's good for this and the other bike's good for... She's like, it sounds like you need more than two. You're right. She has an enabler. That's like a fleet of bikes

might be the way to go. If you go by four today, will they give you a discount? Yeah, so I got a trip coming up. Super psyched about it and uh you know it should all be good my trip is fast what's that if you haven't ridden your bike since you got ill i'm sure no i mean not since yesterday i rode it the day before um or actually no not today the day before the day before so yeah like four days ago i rode i usually try to go in the mornings when

it's nice and cool out and not just so fucking hot. It's been 90s here. Is mornings at the end of your sleep schedule or the beginning? Depends. Sometimes it's the beginning. Sometimes it's the end. I have been like, I'm not quite ready to go to bed yet. Let's go out for a little ride and go do that.

Come back, take a shower, and go to bed. I have woken up and went out for a ride and done the same thing. started the day that way. It's fun either way. I like it a lot. I like riding at night. I've done that a few times now. Just like really short trips, nothing crazy, like 20 minute rides and stuff like that. What's coming in a couple of weeks is, I say this a lot, North Carolina or Georgia for that matter, best weather in the world for about 10 weeks a year. Five in

the fall, five in the spring. Those are arriving. That's good. I think I will like riding in the winter because I feel like you can just put on more gear and be kind of cool. Yeah, and it barely snows there. All this gear is so fucking hot.

I'm just melting if I ride during the day. Just dripping with sweat. It is hot. And then for me, changing into it is more of a pain in the ass. Because my summer gear, I like to wear a dry fit style shirt. Something you might wear in the gym. But that's not what I have on all day anyway. I take my shorts off and I put on summer riding pants. Whereas in the winter,

the style of stuff I have would go over jeans, that cotton t-shirt over that. It's a little easier to just throw on winter clothes. Whereas in the summer, I'm taking off my clothes and putting on riding gear. It's a bigger page. My trip's coming up in 63 days. 63 days. Have you decided if you're taking your bike there or a plane? I am not taking my bike there. Oh, you have decided though? Yeah, that would be a no.

That's no good. Your bike could do it. Oh, the bike could absolutely do it. Yeah, you bought a bike that giggles at 85 miles an hour, whatever it is, you want to go 105 miles an hour. It will, uh, it'll be nice and loud and be sounded real nice at 85, 95 miles per hour. It would have no problem making that, that ride. I don't want to do it though. Um, I would be, not only does it add the complications of having to mail like my whole

setup and everything and, and pray that it doesn't get broken and transfer. Cause you've seen how UPS boxes arrive sometimes. But also like I've already, I do already have the plane ticket. I could get it refunded. But the main thing is I think I could just see myself getting like 12 hours in and being like,

fuck, fuck. We're like halfway there. Yeah. That'd be a brutal realization. Like being like, fuck. Fuck. We're like halfway there. Yeah, that would be a brutal realization. Like being all sore and fucked up and having to take an extra day or something and arriving there a day late or something.

That would be a real downer. And I can rent a bike there if I want to zip around and cruise a little bit. Probably will do that. That Ducati Scrambler is probably what I'm going to rent. I know I saw a place that, that rents one of those fairly cheap and it doesn't like a cool fucking bike.

Um, and I think a scum is either going to bring his bike, uh, or he's going to rent one as well. Is he going to get a little video of, and we talked at the same time. Can you get a little video of scums? Hooligan antics.

I want to see it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if Scum brings his bike, for sure. Is he a hooligan on his bike? He's a fucking hooligan. Don't say too much about the things Scum has told us, because hooligan is understated. A bit of a rabble rouser.

Yes. A degenerate an illegal ride i don't i don't know i've never heard his tales about motorcycling a bit of a road warrior yeah it's a cool way to you know what you need kyle is a leather jacket that says that would be so fucking stupid. Yeah. If you read that, that's what scum likes to do.

Oh, that's so, that's awesome. That is so cool. I, I, I've already liked scum a lot. I like him even more now.

Dude, scum's great. Uh, scum's great. It's, uh, it's going to be fun hanging out with him. I've never met him before.

He lives up in Washington state. Is he first week guy? Yeah, I think so. I think so. I'm not positive. I'd have to look. I'm planning to come for a few days for the first week. Oh, by the way, all of you guys who are coming on the trip, how about sending me the money for the trip? I don't mind sitting here holding the bag for $8,000, but it's been a few months. in here holding the bag for $8,000, but it's been a few months. Kyle, I'm going to bring you five DB power cards loaded.

Oh, shit. What does that mean? It means he can play all the games he wants at Dave & Buster's. All the skee-ball you could ever play. Yeah, yeah. That's worth $700. An $80 value. And you get free mozzarella sticks. It's true.

It's true. It's true. I've been getting one-on-one advice from Scum on popping wheelies and buying stunt bike levers and stuff like that on Discord. He's generous with his time. I appreciate it. Yeah, he's been riding for a very long time. He knows what he's doing. I wish i was half as talented as he is uh you will be ever ever like say you're trying to build a pc and you know a guy whose hobby is just to like keep on top of

all the current parts he's that guy for bikes like he just are picking up heavy shit magic magic yeah yeah i like the uh the confidence building games in the discord where someone's like i've never played before and i'm like oh ah okay and so then i'll play one game with a really good deck just to just to be the alpha in this very gay game we play and then and then after that be like okay i'm gonna go to a bad deck i just needed us both to know i've done that many many times but with ping pong you know like i remember like we used to play at work and they were kind of competitive matches my manager was good at ping pong just for some reason i don't know is it a northwest they're north midwest thing i'm not sure but then all these indian guys would come in and they're

like yeah i played on my freaking ping pong college team honest to god and uh and i'm like learning to play and hanging with them. I wasn't beating the better players, but you know, you lose like 21, 17 or something and you're in the game. So then this woman comes along, she's a new hire and she's like,

I used to play ping pong with my family. And I'm like, sounds like you suck. We called it Gnip Gnop. And I'm like, Oh, motherfucker. You're about to are you trying to get me in trouble

with HR right now you didn't call table tennis you're about to get fucked up and that's exactly what I did she'd like bop bop and it would come bouncing over and I'm I would yell like and it just like

it hit her in the tit, and it stung. It was like, yeah. I've played ping pong with Woody before. He's not exaggerating. Let me just say, I had never played in my life. It's like, oh, look, there's a ping pong table here. I've got good hand-eye coordination. So I bounce it once on my side, and then it comes over to your side, right?

And Woody's like, yeah, yeah. He's like stretching out. Like, yeah, pretty much, yeah. Bounce once on your – and then onto my side. I'm like, ka-tow. And he's like, ha! The ball's like off on the floor somewhere. Stuck in the wall behind him.

I spent most of my time running around crawling on the floor somewhere i'm running around behind him i spent most of my time running around crawling on the floor looking for the ball we played one game and i was just like well that was a lot of fun woody i'm glad you took it easy on me there so that i could learn the game wow 21 to 3 and those three were really aggressive no way i scored a point. I can't. No, definitely did not. It had to be like whatever he got to before I quit to zero.

That's what it was. I remember like going to play ping pong versus a buddy of mine once. And this was before I knew. This was in high school. And I was like serviceable, which means like I can hit it back. Like I can play fine, fine. And I remember like I knew I was back. Like I can play fine, fine. And I remember like, I knew I was in trouble when he was like serve. And the way I served was like,

but dunk, dunk, dunk. And he did like a toss. And like he tossed it straight up, waited for it to come down to like here and then like sliced it. Did he bang his foot at the same time? No,

no. Is that a strategy? Yeah. And it fucking fools nobody. I don't know why all these assholes think I'm going to confuse the sound of their foot with the ball or whatever, but it's super common. You've got to wear tap shoes if you're going to do that.

Tap both feet. You're going to tap it continuously? You're going to tap it continuously? You'll never see the ball coming. I was just laughing so hard at him tap dancing I couldn't even bother with the ball. I palm the real ball, serve with a fake ball, get them distracted with that, then go real ball. Nobody likes to play with me.

I'm not good at any of those games. I'm okay. I have an air hockey table because that was my favorite arcade game as a kid. I'm okay at that. But I don't know if there's really a lot of skill involved. There isn't blocking. Yeah, I suppose. I'm real good at air hockey.

Otherwise, I'm just hitting it as hard as I fucking can. Air hockey. As a teenager. Now, I never played against people who were good or anything, but my friends and I would go to the boardwalk every day, try to pick up girls. 90 minutes

of that, total failure. We would always just end up playing air hockey for the rest of the night. We got good. We got good. We'd do a different grip where you put your two fingers in and get the whip on it. And we could be accurate. And basically all you needed was a couple of ricochet shots or something,

and you were somewhat effective. And the people would get too fancy, and you'd just go right in on them. I was pretty good at pool. Better than average, not someone who was going to hustle anybody or anything like that. Scott used to actually do that. He used to play for money a lot. They would go to a pool hall and play for money. Would he hustle or just like tournaments?

They would just play on, like, not tournaments. No, it'd be like, I guess you just play with one person for money. You know, you put $20 a game or something like that. He used to play a lot for money. But I was never as good as he was, but I have a table. What's it called? Yeah, a table.

A pool table. I have a pool field. Now all the turf's all torn. I'm pretty good. I got my own pool rink. Of all those stupid little bar games i'm i'm best by far at darts like way better at darts than pool and like most people you can beat easily at darts because like if they haven't played they all want to do a baseball or like a football throw where like you wind up and it's like no forget everything you know about throwing like if this were a baseball you throw it yeah it's just a push you're just pushing it like

there's no wind up or anything uh yeah darts is a ton of fun i like playing cricket where you have to hit like every single thing three times or like you've already demonstrated you know way more about darts than me yeah you told me two things. I knew neither of them. I had a friend who was good at foosball. He was really into foosball. He owned foosball tables and kept them at the local bars and had businesses around them. He'd run foosball tournaments. And I played against him in foosball. Foosball, if you guys don't know, it's the one with the poles that go sideways and the soccer players that spin around.

Apparently, spinning them around is not a technique of pros and when i played against him he was fucking with me constantly like he'd pass it all the way right up to my goal pass it backwards to his own players and pass it forwards again before he scored because i'm just like helpless to stop the whole thing yeah that game sucks when you're playing against i remember a friend from high school every time we'd go over there he wanted to play foosball and it's like you're the only person at our school who has a foosball table and so i would just do the first yeah like it's like field position you're trying to get it down the thing for him it was about control and he would get it between like a couple guys and then pass it back and forth between those

guys and i'd be like what you're gonna fool me no and it's oh i got scored on fuck okay i guess you can fool me do you ever do the thing where they like he would take it back to like his defenseman his goalie and put it right between them and then he would do both at the same time to pick the ball up and then use the goalie to lean it and then them and then he would do both at the same time to pick the ball up and then use the goalie to lean it and then catapult it with the defenseman all the way into the goal and it's like well there was no way for me to ever stop that you probably could with the goalie well i'm not gonna stop it because because my defense is turning the goalie to spinning the goalie and going i'm like if if I can flip back and forth until

he becomes a wall. My thought process is like, if I can't predict what I'm doing, then he can't either. The ultimate defense. All right. Number two on the poo counter. Yes, yes, we really need better. 38 minutes

in. He's got, hopefully he has some wet wipes because his ass is probably raw as can be. You're probably too young. You probably never had a colonoscopy. No. I don't know if Kyle has either. When are you supposed to start getting those? It went from 50 to 40, I think.

That sucks. Well, I think there's a real chance that by the time you hit 40, they have a whole new recommendation. There's like another way they can detect colon cancer that doesn't involve cameras up your ass. How many times have you had one? Once, I think. Did they knock you out for it? They did me for, I think Wings had one without being knocked out.

And that, well, you never know what's true. But I think they don't knock everyone out. They knock me out. It's the best part of the whole thing. You get like the same drugs you would for surgery. And you wake up gassy and they're like all like, I don't fart around people. You could know me for decades and think that I've never passed gas. That's how I roll.

I don't fart in front of my wife. Not that I never have, but typically it's not standard protocol for me. That's how I roll. Well, some people at home or something, they let it rip, but not me. Well, after colonoscopy, they're like, everyone wants to hear you pass gas. It's a sign that things are okay. So they inflate your whole digestive channel during the thing so that the camera has some air around it to see what's up. So afterwards you have to pass all that just like through farting and oh you can't not fart after colonoscopy

and everyone's paying attention the recovery nurses are like that was great and i'm like socially can we just pretend none of this happened you know you're a big boy that's a good one yeah like nice gas and i'm like uh i mean it's not bad i feel like i would be talking loudly to try and cover it up just like ripping ass i'm like so have you been working here for a long right or just a short do that cough at the same time but it just keeps going but but yeah they obviously camera can't work if the intestines i guess are right up next to it. So you got to inflate it, get some space in there,

and that's what's up. It sounds awful. Hope that's one of those procedures that I don't feel like anybody's researching towards a better thing. They should be. They are? Good.

Yeah, yeah. I could Google it, but colonoscopies, I think even right now, they're like on the edge of whether or not you should really get them. Have you ever had one, Kyle? I'm only 35. I think you're supposed to get them at 40. Yeah, that's what Woody was saying.

Well, I wasn't sure if you were being proactive. I get one every other week. It's more for fun. You know there's a guy that really knows like that really gets off on that being oh there's gotta be you know what's um interesting it's it's not the same but it's a colonic do you know what a colonic is that's where they just flush you out isn't it i learned about it in the ultimate fighter yeah i learned about it from the Howard Stern show because Robin used to get colonics and, uh, but also from the ultimate fighter. So they fill your entire lower intestine with water and then they like vacuum it out. They completely clean out your intestine.

And apparently like, even if you fast for like 24 hours without, um, either those, that stuff that they make you drink that the doctor gives you for colonoscopy. I think it kind of flushes you completely out, but I don't, I think that you're still not getting rid of everything, but the, but the colonic does. And like,

you can see, there's like a window where you can see like everything passing through and you can see like, Oh dear God, that was inside me. And it's like enormous amounts of just like built up shit from your entire life that you're that you're getting out i'm not sure about how healthy they are or anything but yeah like what he said on the ultimate fighter you know there was a guy who was trying to cut weight and instead of doing what you're supposed to do

and just getting in the gym doing your cardio um, cutting your water consumption, and planning it out appropriately. Diet the weeks leading up to it. Yeah, it's a multi-week process if you've got to cut more than 12 pounds. 15 pounds, certainly. If you're cutting 18, 20 pounds, it's a multi-week process for sure. But he's like, yeah, I'm going to go

get a colonic. And they're all like, the fuck? Dude, you need to get in here on this bike you need to get on this bike right now you need to get i need 10 miles out of you and he's like trust me i'm going to get a colonic and like they suck like three quarters of a pound of poop out of him and then he missed weight by like four pounds or something like that like i don't remember one how much poop do they pull out of him that he wouldn't have pulled out in the next few hours by just fasting? Two, he wouldn't have passed that?

I don't know. And then the second part is, does he absorb any of that liquid? I mean, if they're putting liquid in his intestines, it's kind of like drinking from the bottom end, right? It's the opposite of dehydrating, which is where he needed to be. South Park taught me that. It's a opposite of dehydrating, which is where he needed to be. South Park taught me that. It's a lot of things. How's your soup? Are you feeling rejuvenated as the lights go down?

It's really fucking good. It's this Thai chicken mushroom soup. It's really spicy. That's what you need right now. I mean, I like spicy stuff. What's it called? It's called like Tom something something. It's in Thai, so it's like some stupid fucking name.

Thai food's great. Tom Ka Kai. Tom Ka Kai. It's a chicken coconut soup. It's very good. I love chicken coconut soup, but I don't... It's got to be filled with calories.

I'm sure. There's some cream in there. It's a long way from chicken broth. Yeah, there's coconut cream in there. Mushrooms and chicken and broth and some chili peppers. It's really fucking good. Well, you need the calories right now. You've been shitting and vomiting.

Yes, I do. I ate one bagel today. That's all I've eaten since yesterday afternoon was one bagel. What kind of bagel? Bagels seem like something dry and, I don't know. Nice and safe. There's no way you could get sick from a bagel. I felt like it would go in there and absorb some liquid maybe and help carry it through.

But no, it has not reached the end of my digestive tract yet. It's just been liquid. That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure I'll be good by tomorrow. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and feel so fucking good.

I'm going to ride my bike. I'll go out, have a good time, hang out with some friends, and I won't be miserable. It's going to ride my bike. I'll go out, have a good time, hang out with some friends, and I won't be miserable. It's going to be great. You're probably on the last half dozen shits of this whole... Probably.

Probably. They're getting less and less intense. And I mean, you're firing them out pretty quick. I've gone through an entire roll of toilet paper since yesterday. And I use the jumbo rolls that are like too big to go on the roller. For a while, you just got to sit it on the back of the toilet because it won't even fit on the roller against the wall. So you get like the bulk.

How's your asshole holding up? Really well because it is a liquid shit. I don't even have to wipe. I just dab. I just give a little dab. It's been building up its toughness with a 18-inch tall butt plug

over time. That's true. This is the only way to prevent the... He's been training for this for weeks now. If I were still making... I think I've already said this before, but if I was still making gun videos,

I would totally find a way to like fire this out of a cannon. Yeah. That's someone's ass. You could make like a potato gun out of it. It's so heavy. Like, like we're not, I'm going to be too heavy.

I'm going to guess this is a solid four pounds. Like, like it's very dense. Like, like it's like, like you'd have to make like a bowling ball cannon or something like you kind of get an idea for the density when i when i squeeze it like i'm well aware of the density of that sort of thing it looks like it's too much i'll say it's far too

much yeah that actually um looks unpleasant what is the guy's name from Patreon? He has a not real name. We could use it. Is it Switch? Switch. I was calling him Stitch in my head. I couldn't be it, but Switch says that you would be surprised what the rectum can do. I trust him on that. He seems to have a good bit of experience with stretching rectums and having his own stretched.

He seemed to think that was not a problem. That was the thing that people could really use. I mean, maybe to play novelty chess. I mean, if you'd like it, Switch, you're more than welcome to this one. I'll sign it. That would be nice. That's quite the offer.

The only request is that he can't use it on the Hangouts. No, that's the only way he can have it, is if he uses it on the Hangouts. That's what we need more of. Dude, I was at PAX East one time, years and years ago, and somebody brought me to sign the front panel of an Xbox 360. And I had the dumbest thought.

I was like, ooh, this guy's getting an Xbox 360 signed by Woody's Gamer Tag. Like, I want that. I was like, all right, that was a stupid thing to think. I didn't say that out loud. You don't know how lucky you are to get this from me. Pick it up.

Pick up your fucking Xbox 360 face. I would often feel the opposite. I remember when we were at that the Twisted Kilt and the owner came out with his AR-15 and was like, hey, will you sign this? I was like, fuck, really? This thing was nice until I signed it.

No, I'm with him though. I think it's cool. I think even now that you haven't been uploading videos for a while, you get an FPS Russia sign AR-15. People know what's up. People know that. Maybe. I know know i did not feel i was like oh here we go it also depends if you intend to keep it like like it would always be cool to me heck i think i want to fps rush will you sign it as uh dimitri whatever but uh like uh like even i'm like yeah i think i'd like that but i don't it might hurt the resale but it would it'd be more valuable to me i'll sign Dimitri, but even I'm like, yeah, I think I'd like that.

But it might hurt the resale, but it would be more valuable to me. I'll sign anything you want, buddy. As long as I don't have to sign your body like someone else. Oh, fuck! Those are always the fun ones. Remember I signed that fat kid's tits? I did that.

Yeah, we both did, I guess. Yeah. Yes, me and it. It was like a Mail Monday question. Will you sign me tits? Yeah, I'll do it. He was a 14-year-old kid with could have lost a few. Sign me tits. It's like, oh, you're not even from Scotland.

Just bad at spelling, too. He did have a t-shirt on. Yeah. He had a bikini on, remember? They might have been different kids. I definitely got a white t-shirt on. Yeah. He had a bikini on, remember? They might have been different kids. I definitely saw the guy with a white t-shirt on. I signed this fat kid's tits, and he had on a bikini top like a woman. And it was supportive.

He had such big man tits that he was definitely a B cup. Did he have gyno? That's what that's called, right? No, it wasn't a guy who was like ripped or anything and he just happened to have some like man this is some lady tits like like this was a morbidly obese young fella who are you sure gyno is just um for like ripped guys who have a little bit of like breast tissue i thought i know all the only time i've ever heard it referred to is referred to as gynecomastia

is when it's someone who has fucked up their hormone levels and so they've developed it because of that. This guy was just bad. There was a kid in high school, I remember, and he was definitely not on anything artificial. He just had woman-looking breasts.

100% woman-looking. Seeing him in the locker room, it's like, those are pretty nice. I'm just going to go cup Brad's tits. But not really. He was fat and gross.

Hopefully you're doing better, Brad. I hope you lost your tits. But I don't think that tends to happen. Or you transitioned. Yeah, or you leaned into it and decided, you know, let's treat this as an asset rather than a liability here. I like the way you're thinking. He's going to jump with both feet in.

I've been, I was, we've talked about it many years ago, but gang stalking, I somehow found something about gang stalking again. They got me interested in reading their subreddit about gang stalking again. And reminder, gang stalking is when people believe that dozens of people, if not more, hundreds are following them in similarly colored cars and they want to either kill them or harm them. And it could be something as simple as someone approaching you in the supermarket and saying, did you notice that? How much are those avocados? Are they they're 699 a pound or 665 a pound? It's like, oh, they're using the number six. That's an evil number. They're trying to steal my energy. They're trying to pin me down. I have to get out of here. And so it's like it's genuine. Like I thought it was going to be more entertaining to read through it, but it turns out it's just like a cavalcade of people with clearly a, you know, like having quasi psychotic episodes, encouraging each other in that where

someone will say like, I saw five red trucks today, five on my way to the bank. All the way back, I saw three more. Also, my neighbor, she stopped me and she said, I got this mail for you. Address on the envelope, 665 Northwest Post Abbott, whatever. And it's like all of this to them is like, and another thing, and another thing. And people will comment and respond and be like, better be on edge, man. And the only people that go in there to try and fix it are doing it in the most tone deaf, mean spirited. Like, you guys are all retards and you're fucking morons and you need to go to a psychiatrist because you're mentally ill. And it's like, you're not going to.

They just by starting that conversation, everybody who believes this is is already like that's that's a perpetrator of this that's someone that you need that person is trying to undercut us gentlemen it's trying to undercut us here don't believe them so it's it's they're clearly mentally real than you think they're clearly mentally ill but look i'm i always side on the side of caution when i hear something like this because I know how the internet works. I don't believe that there are very many people who actually believe the earth is flat, for example. I think that there are people who are trolling and they're like, oh yeah, it's flat. Oh yeah, here's this study. Let me show you. Let me show you. And they really love both of the reactions that you'll get. They love it when someone is like,

holy shit, man, you're right. They're like, oh, I got another one. But they also love it when people are like, are you insane? And then they spend 30 minutes trying to prove that the world is round. Like either way they win. I think there are a lot of people who are like that. And then those are the ones who have like above average intelligence. And then there's all the dummies who are like, holy shit, man, maybe they're right. Maybe we're just on a big sandbox somewhere floating in the, in the nether realm or whatever the fuck they believe.

I, and like the explanations for how, what the earth actually looks like is always so absurd. They think it looks like the iris of an eye or a, or it's a big triangle or it's always something. Or it's like a flat plane. That's a circle, but it's the Arctic that's a complete circle

around with the ice wall you can't get past and they never, or at least maybe I haven't done my due diligence, I'll admit, but I've never seen a convincing argument about why every other planet is round. Why would we be special? They don't believe that they are.

I've heard both. I've heard them be like, oh no, no, no, All the planets are like that. It's just a flat side facing us. And it's like, but they're rotating. But then I've heard them say, it's just us. We're the only one with people on it. Duh, dude.

Yeah. Duh, idiot. The one with people on it has to be flat. Otherwise, you'd fall off. There'd be no Australia. No, it's just nonsense. And so when I hear the gang stalking thing, that is so absurd that I think that you have like a very small

minority of people who have schizophrenia being like egged on by internet trolls. I think that's probably true to an extent because there's clearly a bunch of posts here that is just people showing up to bully them or even sometimes i've seen people will make a post and be like i made a post yesterday saying that i was an ex-perpetrator of gang stalking and i laid it all out and all of you retards fell for it ha ha ha i was lying the whole time and it's like don't believe his backtracking his seniors must have called him out on his laps and it's like oh you're really not helping here man you're not helping these people to to see through the delusion it's it's spooky i feel bad for people with that level of delusion

because you know that like to them they're not faking it's a hundred percent real to them like everything makes it's like if you read about people with paranoid schizophrenia like it's 100% real to them. Like everything makes, it's like if you read about people with paranoid schizophrenia, like it's not like Hollywood, oh, these people are murderers and killers and they're just gonna snap. And it's like, no, these people are mostly like concerned because the person at the bank spent longer looking at the screen

when they gave them their debit card than they usually do. Which means of course, that they're sending a side email to the NSA to report them for purchases they've been making. What purchases? Doesn't matter, because I'm a targeted individual, and they're going to come after me, and it's like, it's wild. It is wild when you get into these communities.

And they've never got a good explanation for it. Don't harass them, just read it. Like, they've never got a good, like, if they had, like, a background story about how, like, oh yeah it's it's all of the people like born under this astrological sign like like there's a cult and they believe that all the tauruses are going are are are going to be blood sacrifices for when cthulhu comes back and so they're keeping track of us maybe Maybe it was something like that. You'd be like, shit, I'm a Taurus. Like looking out the window,

like that's what it lies to a little bit, but they're just like, yeah, there's red cars and the number six. It's like, well, there's only 10 numbers. No,

there's only nine numbers, right? Yeah. Like, like whole numbers, you know, obviously just, and then there's,

there's only so many fucking colors. The cars come in. Yeah. And I mean, if you're looking for... It's funny that it's red. There's 10 numbers. It's not like, oh, all of these cars in British racing green. It's like, no, they go with a common one that tons of

trucks are in red for reasons. And it just doesn't make sense. Well, it obviously doesn't make sense. It's happened to me at some level. Here's the deal. I fly a paramotor and because of that and I made these paramotor videos, there's some people in the aviation community that thought

either I or my setup was interesting. So planes pass over the house and then they pass over it like again and again and they're flying lowish at like a thousand feet, making multiple passes over my house and i'm like does does he watch videos why why is this like little cessna or this helicopter going back and forth over my house it it's not crazy people have sent me pictures or said woody i flew over your house. I was checking it out. And on the other hand, you know, I feel like a guy watching Black Helicopter saying that they're here to get me. Yeah.

So anyway. Most of these people don't even have something flying over them at all. Right. There's a mix of like what flavor the delusion is, I can tell, because there will be disagreements here between the people who think that it's a government NSA, FBI, CIA psyop, which like is like, OK, well like no don't let them make you believe that these are you know this is anything but satan and evil and demons tracking you in like human form it is why oh i just saw this post an fbi cia type trick to trick me let's see what this says a few years ago i was active on or you guys talk for a second make sure that this isn't A few years ago, I was active on the... You guys talk for a second. I want to make sure that this isn't stupid.

On a related note, Tucker Carlson did this. And I'm not sure if he's crazy or not. Did you follow this news at all, Kyle? No. Tucker Carlson saying... Okay. So he announced that the... I think the NSA, CIA, one of the three-letter agencies was reading his mail and spying on him.

And they were like, this is crazy. Tucker is not the target of an investigation. Well, that response is a little bit lawyerly, right? They didn't say, we didn't do anything he said. They said, he's not a target. Later it comes out that this is what they did. They monitor emails to and from like russian agents and russian politicians just through like nosy tracking sort of spying type shit i don't know how they do it

and uh some of them were from tucker carlson because he was trying to get an interview with vladimir putin he didn't but like that's what he was working on which is a reasonable thing for someone in tucker's position to do yeah and uh what he was working on, which is a reasonable thing for someone in Tucker's position to do. Then they unmasked him, which is normally when there's an American involved, they keep their identity private. Just say Vladimir Putin sent an email to person of interest one or something like that. They looked into it and they said, this was Tucker who was doing it. I don't know what to make

of that. Aren't they not supposed to do that? Unmasking? Yeah. That's where I'm stuck. So there's a part of me that's like they're looking into it. They're supposed to monitor this mail I suppose and

they unmasked you. Stop making a big deal out of it. Then the other side of me is like, what are you cuck? Like unmasking is a big deal. They're not supposed to be doing that. You're a citizen. What you're okay with being spied on. Like,

so I don't know if what they did is, but if it's one of those alphabet agencies doing something like unmasking, I don't give a fuck who it is. Like, I don't like that. They don't have enough power. They don't have enough leeway to do whatever the fuck they want. They got to just insult to injury.

Show like, yeah, we can do whatever we want. And because we have pornography, gay pornography of every politician, nothing's going to happen. It's like the Incredibles, you know, like, you know, when everybody's super, nobody's super. I feel like at some point all the politicians should be like, well, I'm not embarrassed. They've got gay porn on all of us. That would be funny.

They'll come out and they're like, guys, all at once. Now let's just admit to being pedophiles. They can't vote for every, they can't vote all of us out. We're in conference. We win anyway.

But yeah, yeah. So they unmasked tucker carlson even so he wasn't the target of it they were just monitoring emails to putin and uh but he added like spice to it this is the thing tucker is like they're doing this and they're trying to take my show in the air they want to take away my first amendment rights. They want to lock me up. They want all of that spice was untrue, but it was true that they read his emails and said his name. Yeah. So anyway, I thought it was somehow it was a tied into this.

The CIA is watching me think Taylor was your post worth it. It was not. It really went off the rails you keep reading these and you're like is it gonna get funny and it's like oh no this is this is a catastrophic life event for this person that they thought they saw you know an fbi agent tracking them and one of the rationales i've seen for why they're targeted is almost narcissistic and that seems to permeate a lot of people with like paranoid delusions also, people if someone asks you to do something for them as a favor they wield power over you now that is a form of psychic manipulation

now you're more likely to do something for them in the future and you've surrendered a bit of power now they know that they can get you and work you into the pattern they want it's like how have your patterns changed in the last three years it's like not at all okay assistant to the manager at coles and it's like apparently it's like against the rules here to bring up mental illness like if you say literally like if you say like you know this is thinking that someone has implanted bugs into your head and is recording things in your brain is a very common form of paranoid delusion where they think like, you know, literally there's an audio plant in my head. That's why I'm hearing voices. It's not because I have a neurological

disorder. It's this plant. And like in the moment you feel bad for him, you can't help feel bad for him. Cause it's like, they, they believe that as much as like, you know, a Muslim believes in their religion, like a million percent.. If you were to put a gun to their head and be like, are you psychotic or is there a fucking plant in your head? They'd be like, there's a plant in my head. Why would I lie if you're going to kill me? They really are sold

100% on it. Well, that probably shouldn't be a subreddit. It sounds like they're reinforcing some people's mental illness and that that could end poorly. That's how a lot of subreddits go. It's like, we're a community. And then it's like, don't come in here with your facts. We're talking about gang stalking.

What are some other good forums on that, like on Reddit, that are just ridiculous and mental illness-inducing, or at least encouraging, if not inducing? Ask Women? Ask Women? I've never been there. What the fuck is on Ask Women? I got it, though. I was slow, but I got it. Ask Women, how do I drive? I guess that would but I got it. Ask women, how do I drive?

I guess that would ask men. We wanted to ask, was it something about what women liked? Oh. Yeah, we got a question removed from there once. Yes. It was a good thing. We literally had a question for women, and they were like, can't post this. Yeah, they're like, you can't ask questions that refer to women as a generalized group or something.

I think we wanted to know if women, maybe it was women to find a large amount of ejaculate attractive. I think that might have been it. And it was like, we literally just want to know. We want to ask women a question as men. Are we not allowed to do that?

No, that is not what ask women is about oh well yeah you think that ask women is about asking a monolithic forum that represents women you couldn't be more wrong what it's about is making sure that it's exactly curated to what the person that started the forums you. And they'll remove everything else. No, it's just a circle jerk for them to pat each other on the pussy all day. They don't want any men coming in there. Certainly not any cisgendered men.

Yeah. Asking questions of them. Would it be different if men had to carry in birth children? What? A abortion would be cheap and easy available like what are you talking about do you know the answer no it's not a proper answer i mean maybe as an example of that we should look at public funding from tax dollars towards specifically female health issues and

specifically male i wonder what we'll find we'll probably see that the patriarchy is spending all our money on male health issues right oh fuck it, fuck. It's the opposite. It's way more in female-specific things. Sorry, one comment blew you the fuck out, idiot. Dumbass. What a stupid forum. I just yell at myself.

Another thing about your stupid forum that doesn't answer questions. I need to go to an air conditioning forum right now because it is a thousand degrees in here it was like 96 degrees out today it was like 85 humidity and it is like i'm getting sticky just sitting in your ac's out no it's it's on it's just not reaching this right now. I don't understand why it's not hitting this room hard enough. I have it down to like 65, and it must be 80 in here. It's frozen, I bet.

Right. You've got ice on your coils because of a leak, and now you're not getting cold. There's an HVAC guy out there being like, Woody knows this. He's got it. You're probably. But then why is the rest of the house get in cold? Is it on the same system?

Yeah, because it's a ranch. Oh, well, then actually. So it's got to go. This could be better or worse. Either the baffles in your vents are not right. And that room is just closed off more than it needs to be. Or it's worse in that you don't have baffles in your vents it's not easily adjustable and you need someone to go in there and do fucking next gen calculus to figure out what

how your vents should be shrinking as they get farther from the unit oh boy just another thing basements finally put. If you want some good advice on hiring contractors, don't ask me. Yeah. Because I'm terrible at it. We're in the same boat. I don't know who to ask. Because apparently these people are all fucking crooks.

And if you are nice to them, they will treat you like garbage. And they will manipulate you. And they will string you along. And I don't like being rude to people. Like, I'll be a silly shithead on the show. But in public, I'm very polite. Excuse me. Please. Thank very polite excuse me please thank you everything yes yes sir no ma'am all that but like i'm just gonna have to be an absolute cunt to these people when they come to my house

just be indignant thank you but yeah my experience is that like half of the HVAC industry are just fucking no-talent morons who are parts swappers. And then the other half are very expensive, but they go in there and design your system from scratch and tell you what it should have been, which is nice, but it costs a pretty penny. And every time they walk in, they want you to spend $18,000.

So pick your poison. Hopefully it's the easy-to so pick your poison yep hopefully it's the easy to fix poison if it was a frozen coil what do i do you get a hair dryer on it i it's if your coil's frozen it's probably a leak uh in the short term you just don't run it for a little bit and then start it up again but in the long term they swap apart so it doesn't leak in that spot anymore but that's not a big problem you would turn it off for several hours and then turn it back on and you'd be good to go but since it's cooling the rest of the house that probably isn't the issue yeah probably the issue is something to do with baffles you're not in the was there recent construction in that room i can't

even tell what room you're in it's probably a green screen is that it is is that like more plates more dates yeah i'm at at Derek's house right now. Intercom from 1987, of course. Yeah, this is exactly Derek's background. This is just my third. It's the smallest. It's my third bedroom. Dude, I was working like I'm at night.

Like we got to get iFly a line. I was chatterbait background on Taylor's screen at some point. But I couldn't find one where iFly a line. I didn't occupy like most of the area. and he also had his penis out didn't he yes yeah that's what happened to that guy so he briefly left youtube came back pursued a music career and then i imagine stop doing that because he's not a household name and is doing some other job. Okay. Social media ruins people.

Do you know anyone from social media aside from onslaught who like pursued a normal career and just entered the world of healthy, happy people? No. I don't know anyone who's in the world of healthy, happy, happy people that's not your crowd no

I like dysfunctional retards I like people who are bad at poker he does like people yeah Taylor over there tossing stones after smacking people around in Magic the Gathering. Well, there's no money on that. Who's the guy? What's the guy's name who is very good?

There's a couple of them. Matrulis is one who's very good. I think he's like, sometimes when Trulis writes, we pretend we're not home. Yeah. Sometimes I'll play like a best of three with him. Just blows me out. And I i'm like i'm going to bed appear offline i need to practice i need to practice you should be able to appear offline to a particular person that's that there should be a social media platform that does that you know

like yeah i'm sorry i gotta go to bed okay this fuck can't see my shit for the rest of the night. Boys, let's play. See, we would do that. We'd be playing Xbox Live and we'd want one person out of the group. So it'd be like, alright guys, we'd be on Skype. Here's what we're gonna do. We've gotta say that we're all going to bed and then we've all gotta appear offline

because he's gonna see if we don't. And so that's what we'd do. We'd literally be like, oh, I'm getting tired. And like four other people would literally be like, I'm getting tired. Four other people would all be like, yeah, me too. They'd be like, well, good night. We'd all get offline, appear offline, and then invite each other and continue to play because we just didn't want to play with this guy.

I don't remember who it was. He just wasn't good. He was tearing you down. He was either not very good or he was just annoying to be around, one of the others, but we didn't want to hurt his feelings. That's a nice way to handle it. I guess lie behind his back. I mean, it seems, it seems kinder than being like, Hey man, you're super annoying to be around. Like, like I know some people that I'm,

you know, in my life now are on my online life and I'm just like, God, I hate this person. No fucking much. Every time he talks, it's something I don't care about. Every time he asks a question, I think about how stupid he must be to need to ask that question. Every time he interjects with something that he thinks is interesting. I'm just like, you're an idiot. You're stupid. You're, you're a low IQ individual. And, but I've got to, you know, he's, he just got to be there. He's there. Yeah.

And I can do. Yeah. I don't know who specifically you're talking about, but I could probably guess. Yeah. Let's not, let's not put anybody on blast, but what,

what's the deal? I got a piece. So I'm going to throw a little bone out there. What's the, what's going on in the Marvel universe? Oh, I knew that was coming. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll let you go. So black widow is suing. I will wait. Let me start over. Scarlett Johansson. Oh,

he got it. Right. Did I, or yeah. Okay. Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney. The deal is she was getting paid based on ticket sales. It would seem.

she was getting paid based on ticket sales, it would seem. And she feels like because they simultaneously released in theaters as well as Disney Plus, I think that's what it's called, that it didn't do as well in theaters as it otherwise would have. Disney's comeback said that she's wrong. She's sort of excited. And Disney Plus allowed her to be paid even more than she would have had it just been released in theaters and there was also some whiny sappy bullshit about COVID like you'd think during these hard trying times that she wouldn't sue us I hate that yeah but um so it's hard to really know without knowing her contract what piece of Disney Plus is she getting I don't think she's

getting any piece of that I think that's nonsense What I read was that she was she got played. She got paid a fee. And then on top of that, a percentage of box office sales. And and so like she she lost millions of dollars because because of this. And this is her last Marvel movie. So I'm sure that and so because of that, not only does that make it so that she really wanted to cash out, but also that she's not afraid to sue them because she's not looking for another movie with them. She doesn't care if she's not in the next Avengers or Iron Man or whatever the fuck. She's done.

I hope she gets paid. So this is Disney's statement, which might not have any truth in it. The company said it, quote, fully complied with Miss Johansson's contract. And furthermore, the release of Black Widow on Disney Plus with Premier Access has significantly enhanced her ability to earn additional compensation on top of the 20 million she's received to date. So that was the part I was stuck on. The release of Black Widow on Disney Plus with Premiere has enhanced her ability to earn additional compensation. Yeah, but that's kind of vague, right? How has it enhanced her ability? It's made her more people know who she is now, so she'll get other movie gigs?

I don't know. It seems very vague. Oh, I didn't look at it through that lens, but I see what you're saying. I don't know what to make very vague. Oh, I didn't look at it through that lens, but I see what you're saying. I don't know what to make of that. I interpreted it as she got a piece of Disney Plus, but I don't know. I don't know. How would you even do that, right? How would you even get a piece of that? As a customer, I feel like there's so much choice out there that this whole pay-per-view model has to collapse.

But as a content creator, like you almost see why it won't. And, and, and I'll explain there. Like someone who say, just watch this YouTube video is worth, I think two tenths of a penny,

right? So 10 of you get together and you're worth two cents. And on the other hand, like a Patreon guy or something is single handedly worth $5, right? How much more is that? Is that Kyle mapping stuff? $5 versus two tenths of a penny. What did you say? $2,500 maybe?

That works. Yeah. Like it just, it's ginormous. So I look at UFC. I would much rather be in a streaming service or have an ad model or something like that. As a customer, I'm like, bro, I can't pay $70 every time you hold an event. You sometimes hold three events a month. It's crazy. And you don't seem to recognize that some events are Super Bowls and some events don't even have a title fight in them, but you charge the same amount for all these pay-per-views and it's crazy.

I want you to charge $20 a month or less because get with it. But I can see why they're like, man, I don't care what you want. I value the people who pay $70 an event. And somehow those seem related to me. Like just some people can be worth so much more than say guys only willing to watch ads. That's why pay-per-view hasn't died yet. Yeah.

Yeah. I definitely, definitely. So it's, it's an enormous amount for pay-per-view. It went the other way with Spotify. I'll argue against myself. So with Spotify back in the 90s

people would have a music budget of buying like shit three cds a year four cds a year that was like what normal people would buy not music addicted teenagers but like the population bought three cds or something and that was it and then they they stopped buying CDs and went to Spotify, which everybody thought was going to kill the music industry. Turns out on Spotify or Apple Plus or whatever it is, all these options, the music budget has gone to $120 a year, $240 a year, something like that. And people are spending more on music now through these streaming services than they spent by buying just their favorite CDs. That could happen on the music industry. Instead of going to the movies twice a year,

they'll buy Disney Plus and they'll pay more for entertainment than they used to. Maybe. Yeah, I used to go to the movies a lot. I would go three or four times a month at least and um obviously i just haven't gone the last movie i went to i think was avengers do you think covet is going to cause a permanent change in your movie going behavior um one of the reasons i haven't been recently is because there's just nothing good in theaters it's kind of a chicken and the egg thing. They don't want to release their

heavy hitters because people aren't going to the movies and people aren't going to the movies because people don't want to release their heavy hitters. Yeah. And we still haven't gotten this COVID thing under wraps. It's still... I'm looking at the movies that are out right now in

theaters and I haven't heard a lick about any of these other than maybe the new Space Jam. I've heard about the new Space Jam. I'm not watching that. And that's not going to stream. That's another what? Oh, you can stream that, too. I didn't know that. Yeah, you can stream that one.

You need to go on the number three. All right. It's three. Hour 20 minutes in. Three Poohs. I don't think I'll ever... Unlike you guys, or especially Kyle, I never really went to movies that often.

I would generally wait until they came out. But I can see how you're like, if you're into the Marvel stuff, of course you're going to go to the movies. People are going to spoil the shit out of it the next star wars too yeah also if you're in our position where like i don't know maybe i'm talking up how excited i am for the release of this movie people will go out of their way to spoil it you know hit me up on facebook hit me up on reddit messages stuff like that and it's hard to not read something that

I just saw something about Luke Skywalker. Does he die? Is that what I read? I don't know. I looked away as soon as I realized what it was saying, but now I have a hint. Now I'm going to go through this whole movie wondering what happens to this dude. Why he

used his name in the spoiler. And it's hard to avoid spoilers. So sometimes I see him as early as possible. What was the worst spoiler for you that you can remember? Was it a Marvel one? Was it like a long time ago? It was the, so Star Wars came back. It would be movie number seven, I think,

like if you have them in order. But I was super excited about it. Disney bought it. They're releasing it again, et cetera. And I'm about to do a spoiler on episode seven of star wars guys and uh they wrote me and they said that han solo dies and he's killed by kylo ren his son and it was just like oh what a dick whole movie like hoping that was a red herring. It was not.

That's the end of the spoilers. That's the one. But that was the worst spoiler I can remember. Oh, there was also season two of what's the political one? Kyle enjoys it. House of Cards. Yeah. A main character dies and they spoiled that for me oh that's shitty because that was

such a when he pushes that lady right that's the one train that's like that was such a good part of the show because it was out of left field totally unexpected not for me it reminds me of uh i've said this before, but like, and I was in college and you know, the red wedding was coming out. We would, I would have company over every single time, you know, every Sunday I believe it was when game of Thrones would come out and we would sit and watch and like a big group of like at least eight people, sometimes like 10,

I'd have to bring my kitchen chairs in and we'd all have a watch party at my apartment. And it was the, the red wedding one. And me and my buddy were the only ones who had read the books and so we're sitting there like they start playing the reins of cast to me and we're both just like not looking at each other watching the screen dead faced and they keep cutting back to catlin and one of our buddies sean was like why the hell does catlin look so worried what's about to happen and we we're like, she always looks worried. You're just noticing that.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, I guess she always does look worried. 45 seconds later, just pregnant belly destroyed. My favorite is the, so after that episode aired,

people were showing reactions to that episode. Right? So like, that's a spoiler. If it's like every night we get together, we watch Game of Thrones, but on the... Is it Reigns of Castamere? Do I have that right? It's the song that they play.

The Red Wedding is what I wanted to say. In the Red Wedding episode, now they're setting up video cameras to watch me watch it? What the fuck is happening here, guys? What is happening? Are we watching Game of Thrones or shooting a porn because you get me from three angles? That is so true. I'm such an idiot.

I never thought about that angle where it'd be like, all right, we're going to pause here. I'm going to get my camera set up. Right? Damn. But it was a surprising part. That's probably my favorite episode in the entire series the red wedding episode it was the biggest surprise well for people who hadn't read the books it was the biggest surprise remember the absolute shit fit that happened on social media all over

because of the red wedding dude so bob dying yeah yeah because what happened is ned dies then all of a sudden you realize game of thrones is not fucking around you know like oh my god if ned can die no one's safe oh wait a minute relax everyone it's okay rob's got this rob's got this he's winning battle after battle after battle shit i think he's a better tactician than his dad was but he's so fucking brave and he's making all these great moves and he's got this hot chick that he's a better tactician than his dad was. And he's so fucking brave, and he's making all these great moves, and he's got this hot chick that he's boning, and this guy's really got it together. I'm on Team Rob now.

It's going to be okay. Let's sit back and enjoy the revenge. And then it doesn't go like that. It doesn't pan out. No. And then it never pans out again. No. The ultimate twist.

Well, I guess it panned out a few more times after that event. You know, that was season three. Four, five, six were good. Seven, eight were bad. We don't want to talk about it anymore, though, because it upsets Kyle viscerally. To remember it. Are the poops getting smaller still?

No, that one was pretty rough. That was a bad one. Kyle doesn't actually have food poisoning. He watched season eight again. He's making him sick to his stomach was that a real was that was that still a dabber i'm still a dabber it's a dabber it was that's good it's just just really stomachs are so cramped up just really painful i was just lots of pain i don't know i don't know what that's about i've taken so much ibuprofen i wish i had real fucking painkillers or weed i guarantee weed would fix this well i'm sure weed is known for settling stomachs it is it is yeah yeah wait wait it is like that's one of the big things that we

genuinely like there's a bunch of fibbing out there like oh it gets rid of cancer i don't think that's true but like i keep it to prophylactically prevent glaucoma. The anti-nausea. Yeah, that's why you get it. I'm fighting glaucoma. Yeah, doctor, I'm winning. I've conquered the continents of glaucoma, and I don't plan to lose any ground. Yeah, like the anti-nausea thing really is one of the key parts of it that's that's truly real

like i remember being hung over as hell in college or even after and like just feeling like absolute dog shit and then you just take a couple toots of weed and you're like now i'm hungry i'm not feeling bad i'm feeling pretty good that's probably because i I'm high. Last weekend, I met a new guy, great guy, liked him a lot. But he had a t-shirt on that said, this is what a cancer survivor looks like. And I opened the conversation by asking him if he really beat cancer or if this was just stolen valor. It turns out he thought he had beaten cancer, but it came back. But the conversation drifted to like, dude, if battling cancer is so awful, and I believe it, maybe weed is part of the process. Nausea is a big, chemo makes you nauseous, makes you throw up. It's terrible.

And cannabis makes you not nauseous. Chemo destroys your appetite. Cannabis, positive influence on your appetite i think yeah um that's really all i got but fucking toke up bro they will give you anything else you want that is a cool thing when you're battling cancer especially especially if you're lucky enough to get a terminal diagnosis they will give you anything you want morphine. I bet you can score heroin. I bet you could get like the equivalent then they'll give you something in the heroin

family. There's a, it's called palliative care, but for my brother, it was called a pain management team. And they will just pull out all the stops. Like, you know, whatever you want, they got, and they're not shy. I don't know if this this is true but i remember reading this a long time ago that like apparently the founder of aa alcoholics anonymous on his deathbed after being sober forever was like bring me 10 bottles of whiskey and and they were like no you have to finish strong and it'd be like i would i would be like you guys are are war criminals get this man 10 bottles of whiskey i'll take it out of my own pocket i'll feel like a good person i got you man i'm going i've got one question what kind of whiskey yeah all the kinds every kind yeah yeah finish would be horrible finish strong fuck you yeah that's

probably like one of those made-up stories where they're like like christians will tell i remember hearing this in school because i went to a christian religious school where they'd be like you know darwin recanted on his deathbed and even then i was like, recanted of what? Like, did he said all that research I did was made up and I was lying? Like, is that what you want me to believe? That even if he like, let's pretend for a moment that he was a brilliant con artist and he fooled us into believing in evolution. Is that what what he would have done? Recant? Like, no, that's that's absurd. And obviously he didn't do that so i remember being a young kid and that not passing the smell test for me yeah and like and like

adults believe this really like in my when i'm when i'm lying when as i've been lying in bed drifting in and out of consciousness recently i let youtube play and i guess an infographic video played and it was um how how big the arc wouldn't have needed to be and uh you know i i guess i never actually read that part of the bible because i always thought it was just two of every animal but it's not it's like okay seven of every animal that is not unclean like seven males and seven females and two of every kind that are unclean and, and like seven of every bird. And so like, by the time they were done, they, they like, they came up with the average size of an animal on earth. And it's about that of a goat, like a 50 pound goat. So they were like, all right, so we'll just use goats because the average size of an animal is a

50 pound goat. And, uh, and, and they like, they, they do all the math, you know, so we'll just use goats because the average size of an animal is a 50 pound goat. And they do all the math. The cubits, a cubit is from the end of your middle finger to your elbow. But of course, that varied because not everybody's arms are the same fucking size. And one of the main things they came up with was not only was it not big enough, but if you had built it to the size they said, it wouldn't work because it's made of cypress. It's made of cypress and it's a time before there were metal beams to reinforce the wood. So as it would go up onto one wave, it would crash down in the middle of a wave and it

would just capsize the boat. It would just break the boat in half. The largest wooden boat that was ever made was in 1909. And it was about two thirds the size of the biblical ark and it required continuous bilge pumps to keep it from sinking. And it did sink in like 1921. Yeah.

And it's like, it's not, like even going by the Bible measurements, I looked it up. They said 300 cubits is about 510 feet long. And like that, that's not that huge of a boat to get every animal on. Like, it's just not. So there's no way it could have worked just by unless it was like a 30 story ship. And even then, who was handling the insects?

It's only 30 cubits tall. No, I was saying they would need way more than that because you need like multi-decks. Because clearly, like, that was someone who imagined that the only animals that existed in the world were the ones in their immediate vicinity. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, every animal.

It's like, well, that's fine. That's like 11 animals. We're going to have nothing but space on here. Rachel, all my, you know, I'm a spry 900-year-old man. All my 400-year-old sons are going to be getting mad pussy, making more kids, and then we're going to have just a despicable offspring line, apparently, because, you know.

Did you see that clip that i that i uh sent you guys today of wings talking about how his parents are related i didn't i didn't get a chance to watch it is it we could probably quote it it's not long i think he was just saying it's not that weird both his parents were named jordan and they were related or something yeah yeah that's what he said um but because he was talking to some guy in it i don't know probably one of his associates and the guy was like, yeah, you know you see it a lot, people talking about how people in the South are inbred

and Wayne's like, well, come on it's not that extensive now my parents though they were related did he actually say that? yeah do you think that's true no you don't think they're actually related

no i wouldn't think so either stupid enough to think that two people named jordan are automatically related i think it's equally possible that he's on a podcast and he's just telling stories he was just well he wasn't on a podcast though, right? He was just like on a live stream. I'm not sure. I thought he was, but I'm not sure. Yeah, you're giving him way too much credit for creativity. I do that sometimes for creativity. He, oh, we talked about him on PKN,

but I don't think we talked about PKA. Wings lost his Twitch partnership. People are saying he's banned. He's not banned from Twitch. What he is is he's just not a partner anymore. And he violated Exhibit D of his contract. I've heard two things about that. One, I've heard that has to do with promoting things like DoorDash or maybe his surgery or the bootcamp or whatever. I've also heard that you can't know what exhibit D is because it's unique to wings is contract and not something you can Google,

which I tried to do. So I don't know for sure. I just know he lost his partnership. I haven't heard of a partnership loss being temporary. No, it seems to be like if, if destiny got taken off, like destiny is a huge fucking streamer.

And so for him to get taken off and not have any recourse, like I really doubt that Wings has a chance. Well, Wings should be doing. I just checked. He's streaming right now for like 500 plus people on his YouTube channel. But he's not dual streaming to his Twitch, which is like that. Now that you're not a partner you're allowed to stream on other platforms and so like why wouldn't you double up your streams man like yeah tell people you could even if he hates twitch a ton which i don't blame them for if they took away

his partnership i don't know all the you know ins and outs but just say oh you're gonna focus on your youtube chat and slowly try and pull people to the different medium. As far as the exhibit D or whatever it is, D, I don't think that's unique to him because I did check and I saw that like there is like ABCD if you have a Twitch partnership. And it seems like but I don't know what the fuck he does in this channel. I don't watch it. But generally that whole exhibit D seems to say, like, don't imply that Twitch has something to do with your promotions. And if you do a promotion, you have to have evidence. If you're called upon that,

it went off without a hitch. So it couldn't be like one of those early YouTube giveaways where it's like, I gave away 10 X boxes, prove it. No, like it's not even that it would be like a gift card. It would be.

Zach thinks it had to be the surgery. I don't see how we've narrowed it down. Yeah, the surgery thing doesn't make sense. We said this on PKN. Tons of streamers have down there a goal for vacation, a goal for their streaming PC, a goal for a new hot tub

so they can wear a new bikini, whatever. Why would surgery not be allowed in those things? That doesn't pass the smell goal for you know they're hot a new hot tub so they can wear a new bikini whatever so like why would surgery not be allowed in those things are so that doesn't pass the smell test i don't get it one thing wings yeah i was gonna one thing wings does have is a whole sea of people who will like report him falsely right did a lot of people say he didn't have the surgery that the whole thing was a scam or maybe they said it was a scam because he didn't have the surgery quickly enough maybe maybe that's something that's messing up my are we sure he had the surgery yes come on we saw the pictures that there was the weight loss so that whole thing happened so he definitely got it

um take probably so yeah i i give him credit a lot like i'm like well we don't know that he's not thinner than his starting weight do we i can't i'm not if a dude went from 200 to 220 i could see it if you went back to 200 i could see that like but when a guy goes from like 400 to 350 and then back somewhere like i i can't tell 375 from 350. Yeah, probably not. Probably not. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know how it went.

I guess what I'm saying is he has a whole sea of viewers who would be apt to claim that they got scammed when in reality they didn't. They donated for the surgery and probably the people saying they got scammed didn't donate. I find that's a really common non-overlap. So I don't know. I feel for him on one hand, but I also

wonder if online content creation is a bit of a rut for him and this becomes a kick in the pants that lands him someplace better it always could i mean he's still got the capacity to make money on youtube and like donos on twitch and stuff and i've said before like like my channel like i get way more subs than i do donated dollars and that's just how mine is whereas his channel he seems to get a lot more direct donations of dollars than subs and so it might not he said it was half his income might not even be that bad but i mean like if you're compared like he's been out of the traditional workforce for so long that this

still probably is his best option money-wise he door dashes does he he door dashes i think they actually got him fired from door dash oh i didn't know he worked for door dad wait he got in trouble for talking about working for door dad or promote promoting door i don't remember exactly what happened i really don't follow him very much it's it honestly it's it's whatever people share with me and um but so so i'm kind of talking out of my ass but if i if i go into it but it was something like he was door dashing and then i think i heard i saw a clip where he was like i was trying to door dash but y'all couldn't let me have that oh fuck that's so shitty. Yes, that's awful.

They're bullying him on his Twitch stream, and then he's like, I'm just gonna go deliver some Chinese food. He got fired of suspected french fry stealing. There was some shrinkage on all these orders. There's all of the security tapes torn apart. Why is it every time Woody delivers DoorDash, the straws are

inserted in the cups? You ordered a medium Coke that gave you a big cup, you know, so you're still winning, even though it's two-thirds full. You ordered a large cup, but I gave you a large cup. Fuck off. I don't know enough about, we can move on from

wings of shit but like the only thing i like people have told me that like makes sense was like him charging for unbans because i know twitch is strict on that you can't you can't do that you can't say 50 bucks and you're unbanned but i don't think he's done that in a long time at least according to random commenters i saw i don't think he's done that in a long time, at least according to random commenters I saw. I don't think charging for unbans is immoral. Now, my mind is open. I'm willing to listen to the other side of the argument, but we used to charge for unbans at Woody Craft, and they were expensive.

They were $25 for the first unban, $50 for the second, $75 for the third, and we don't sell a fourth. At this point, we think that because you're cheating is worse than, you know, whatever money you would pay. We don't want you. And the idea was we were fining people for cheating. That was that was what's up. You know, you know, if you cheat and you've been caught once already, you know, it's 50 bucks if you get caught again. And your account has so much tied up in it.

You know, like you may have spent five $500 on this server over your lifetime. That just keeps coming back to you, like every wipe and stuff, that matters to you. And you're like, shit, I don't want to get fined 50 bucks to get this previous investment back. And it was meant to discourage cheating. The alternative, just never giving it back, was also taking away that investment they made it

seemed crueler to be like your account's gone fuck you no second chances than to sell an unban did you have people who reached all four unbans yes yeah we would and now yeah but like in my opinion they weren't good customers because shit, what is that? $150 total? My suspicion is I lost more than $150 because that asshole was on my server. He drove away enough people. I don't want that guy, which is why he can't buy a fourth. But the reason we sold Unbanned

was because it seemed like an asshole move to be like one strike, you're out. Yeah, I don't think there's something necessarily wrong with it. That's just what Twitch believes. They can't do that. They have a bunch of goofy rules over there. So if Wings is like,

hey, you say something mean to me, it's 50 bucks to get back on here and get a second chance. Then I'm like, I don't know i don't see the evil in it i'm missing it yeah well i hope he does okay i he got fired from doordash that fucking sucks yes i'm pretty sure that happened that is fucking insult to injury in this scenario there are youtubers who just film themselves delivering DoorDash. There's a guy not far from me who does it via motorcycle.

And I just, I don't know, every time I watch the video, I'm like, oh, look, 18 minutes of DoorDash delivery. Let's watch. And I don't know why I'm addicted to it, but here I am. I would watch Wings live stream DoorDash deliveries for sure. He was. I'm pretty sure he was because I've seen video of him with his wife door dashing. I just remember seeing that bag of Arby's

between the two of them and thinking it's like a seal pup between two fucking orcas. I'm in danger. That roast beef sandwich is in so much trouble right now. I guarantee there's been nights where they were like, man, that smells good.

Yeah, it does. I want to just go home. They can see a pup between two polar bears. What's up, Wings of Redemption DoorDash? And believe it or not, a lot of these videos are aggressive and mean in that, like, the title of this one is i made 375 dollars in one day on doordash wings of redemption doubles down on doordash lie and it's like that that does seem like a huge amount of money to be making in one day on doordash that would be shocking to me because

usually when i order food i tip them like a couple dollars. I'll only tip a lot if it's something where they've got to go into a place. If I know they've got to deal with a bunch of shit, like if I order hibachi or something, and I know they've got to deal with these Asian people, I'm not going to tip them a few bucks. But I just can't imagine him making $375 in a day. I mean, imagine that. If that was consistent, that's a good living for his expenses.

Yeah, that's really, really good. So the the guy that I watch on YouTube, he will make like 50 bucks over the course of two and a half, three and a half hours like that range. And he doesn't usually do one of them. He does like, you know, he's got him on his phone and he just picks the best from maybe three competitors doordash postmates uber eats and he'll just find the most profitable job that's close to him and do it so to make 375 dollars i mean unless he's working 20 hours he's doing a much better rate than the guy i watch yeah and he's not in like a metropolitan area like if you're in like true fucking new york city

like oh my god like this probably just that's a good point little area and just kill it this guy's in raleigh and he does seem to do a lot of deliveries less than five miles also i feel like his motorcycle dude he bought a specialized backpack for door dash deliveries and uh something about the bike he's like hopping curbs busting u-turns in a way that a car can't and just delivering efficiently. Yeah. I had a guy deliver on a bike once. Huh. In New York City, like, yeah, that's a great idea.

Like you probably make great bank. Well, I mean, also you live in New York City, so it's not very much money. You don't need your car. So there's no gas. You're not putting miles on it none of those companies like give you anything my foot is the way to go or i was saying like just by bike with like one of those uh bike or a little in my head i don't know if this is uh if it lasts long enough but electronic skateboard comes to mind because you can pick it up and not have it stolen as you

carry it into a building that's true you could deliver, but do it all on one of those bird scooters. You pay like a dollar a mile or something. Right, except you'd be gay. They're fun. They are kind of fun. I've only done it once. They are a gay time. It was a gay old time.

Stopping every few blocks to suck a dick. That's how the payment works. It's a grand. It's the person at the end that pays you. What? I sucked five dicks for God. Well, might as well finish.

Well, you've got five happy gentlemen in your wake. We're talking about movies. I just, I need some more content. I need more shit to watch. I'm starting the Mr. In between. And so that's one thing that I'm getting up.

I have started watching terrible horror movies again, because you need to take like a couple of month break in between those, because that's what the great thing about the horror genre is is it only takes a couple months for a whole new catalog of horror movies to be there because they're genuinely bad and i don't know why i love them i love bad horror movies it's my not even a guilty pleasure to go back to stormlight archives i do i do yeah jump back Stormlight Archives. I need to get you on the woody train of getting shitty.

Getting mad at the story. I'm like, all right, this is a three-hour drive. We're going to take a bite out of this book. We're going to find out what happens next. And then there's fucking Yasna going on and on about some minutia you don't give a shit about.

It's like, give me another sword fight because I'm bored. Is that how they say your name in the audio book? Yasna? I think so. How do you say it? I say Jasna because it starts with a J. I didn't know that. They definitely pronounce it like a Y in the book.

How do you pronounce that king that starts with a T? Thaddeus? No. Terra. Is it Terrave? Oh, you're asking the biggest pronunciation in Targ, you know. Do they say Taravangian? Is that how they say it?

No, but now it's ringing a bell, but I don't it's i i thought like that was one of those like benefits of reading the book where like i read his name as like king taravangian and it's like an ng i don't like taravangian that's clunky taravanyan that's i'm gonna say that in my head that's better i get shocked by the spelling sometimes i'm like, wait, what? That's been a J this whole time? I had no idea.

That's on my... The King of the Cobranth. Yes. In the way of the kings. Is he the one whose intelligence changes? Yes. Yes. He has that curse. Why does it change he's cursed it's uh we're spoiling for people but this isn't a big spoiler yeah that's not how i picture him

so i'm not going to look at that picture but uh basically he is cursed and kyle you got to start the series of the books i sent you so magnanimously and not to guilt you. But basically this guy, he's like this, like he used to be the smartest man alive and he was cursed in that he wakes up every day and it is a total crapshoot on how smart he will be. He might be the smartest man in the world and he might be the dumbest man in the world and it might be somewhere inest man in the world and it might be somewhere in the middle and so in his genius state this is spoilers but it's not nothing that would ruin the book for you he in his most brilliant day came up with rules for himself a series of

problems to dictate in like every morning he wakes up and he has to do a worksheet with some overseers and if he's too dumb he's not allowed to make any decisions for. And if he's too dumb, he's not allowed to make any decisions for the kingdom. If he's too smart, he's not allowed to make any decisions for the kingdom because if he's really smart, he goes like full eugenicist and is like, I was going to tell the people that day that the smartest thing to do for the propagation of our society is to give IQ tests to every individual in car brand and determine who can reproduce based on those scores. That way, we'll ensure that in a few generations, we have the smartest, most capable people on Earth.

And his handlers have to be like, you're too, no, you scored too high today. He becomes an asshole too. There were children singing, and he's the king, and he's like, murder all the children. It's like, I would like those children taken out and dashed upon the stones and he's like well we're not gonna do that king you know it's it's a good idea for you not to rule today and sometimes he will fake being too being dumber so that he can still rule he ripped through all the questions that didn't try the last one he's like trust me i can't do it i know i couldn't possibly now full power because i'm at the perfect level

of smartness to have all the authority i want let's fuck shit up and uh his handlers didn't realize the ruse that he had put under for some time because he's smarter than everybody and very good at faking it he's a bizarre thing to be in a book like why it's interesting i liked it because i hadn't seen it before like so many books i don't know if it's all based on the tolkien universe or if the tolkien universe is based on shit older than that but it's like oh you've got elves you got dwarves you know what they are you've got this you've got that all of these things are new concepts you know for the longest time i'm like what the fuck is a spren exactly is it it seems to have no memory it's a gay angel i guess and yes yeah but but there are a lot of things in

this book like there's uh a chasm fiend that they need to fight and i you know multitasking don't get all the details i'm like i think it's like a giant hermit crab that digs holes, I think. And that's just how I picture it. But like you listening, you don't know what a chasm fiend is. This is a completely new concept. If I tell you that this is a bard or dwarf or wizard, if I say, what does a wizard look like? Most of you will come up with something pretty similar, probably a tallish, slender, older man. But if I ask you what a chasm fiend is like, you know, sky's the limit. I'm looking at this thing.

This thing is horrific. Really? Can you link it? There's like the meme of the guy like leaning, saying like no to that, and then liking something else. And for his, it's like dragons elves dwarves traditional fantasy creatures crustaceans yes all of the creatures are crustaceans that he likes and i like that

because it makes sense in the context of like that creepy world they live in and so like uh cal for your benefit like they live in this horrifying world where there's no grass, nothing can grow. If something does grow, if you walk towards it, the grass retracts because it's living. It has to be able to retract into the ground to survive the high storms. There's only one area on their continent

called Shinovar, which is where all humans came from, where they have regular grass and chickens and food like that. And so these royalty in these other areas will be parading around came from where they have like regular grass and chickens and and food like that and so like like these royalty and these other areas will like be parading around with these magnificent shards and then like someone from their point of view who's not from shinovar will be like and he had this chicken with him and it was all black i'd never seen a chicken like that it must be one of those

crazy animals from shinovar and so like they have all this magic, and they're blown away by regular animals because all the animals there are horrid and want to kill you. It's really interesting. The world he builds is tremendous. So book four sucks donkey dick. And I'm like, oh, please, I want you to turn this into a TV show. I want it to be the next Game of Thrones and I want the rest of the world to turn on you like I am.

I want the rest of the... This is season eight we're watching right now. You're like... Oh, you wouldn't get to book four by season 10. There's so much shit to be said. It's so long. It's like, hold on. Man, these Game thrones books are long

and it's like are you low on mana get another plot device no it's a good plot device it's it's an it's a nice addition it's a nice addition like imagine if superman always had to be refilling and that that's something that he could always lose he was a guy who survived imagine every time superman got into trouble it revolved around his needing to fill up his mana again it would every time if that was your ability to use your powers and you have limited resources like it makes them spend it more sparsely and i like that it's not every so often i'd like the other guy to be a good fight i'd like him to i don't know i want to see superman do superman shit and not just always superman battle being a regular dude i feel you i feel you i i'm loving it still i'm

only a couple hundred pages into book four but i'll if i'm not too tired i'll i'll read some more after this tonight i'll i'll get a nice little i got a giant jug of diet root beer in there that i'm looking forward to. I'm going to drink that. I'm going to get some snacks, probably some not healthy snacks. Actually, no, this is the show. People won't know I'm lying. I'm going to have celery and carrot sticks with a side of Chinese food. I snacked tonight during Walking Dead and I had tropical fruit and cottage cheese.

That's a tropical fruit. It's like it's I don't know. That's what I call it. But it's it's kiwis. It's some melons. It's some cantaloupe. It's strawberries. And then I mix it with cottage cheese, which probably most people think is gross.

But if I just have fruit fruit i'm hungry again later yeah fruit is nothing like you'll convince yourself i'll sometimes be like oh i need a late night snack and i'll be like i'll have a banana and i'll eat four bananas but that is an exception because i will get full on bananas i sometimes won't even want to finish a banana, but like if you give me a Clementine or even four Clementines, bro, that was just shitty juice. Like, like imagine taking the contents of four Clementines,

putting them in a glass. You'd have a mostly, it's like a Capri sun. I don't have a Capri sun and think, Oh, my hunger is solved. I think, aha,

that was a warmup for what I actually want to eat. Oh, yeah. Like I would need a Clementine the size of a football for me to feel full at all. Like it's just, yeah, it really is nothing. But I like them. I think they're 35 calories, the Clementine, something like that. Yeah, barely need water.

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Do you have rotten little baked bean chiclet teeth? Well, we can't help you there. We can hide the breath associated with your baked bean tea kyle how was that one a little less voluminous this time feeling better just feeling awful i'm sorry what would what would you like to talk about what's a topic that would take your mind far away from the hell you're currently residing i don't know man do you want some help i can't really think about things too much right now i'll fuck about whatever you want

what hurts the most my stomach okay and you're still dabbing the ass no rawness there yeah all good there all good there it's just. He doesn't want to admit it. He's got a tender anus. I suspect it. I bet it's tender. You can only dab for so long, my friend. It's going to get through. It's like a runny nose.

As gentle as you try to be, it can only take so much. I'll start putting some chapstick back there, I guess. That would be smart. You need chap in. I'll start putting some chapstick back there, I guess. That would be so hard. You need chapstick. I got two tubes. One can be my butthole tube and the other can be my normal tube. Does it sound like a woman pissing or is it all at once?

Oh, it sounds like a woman pissing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've all been there like Nelson from The Simpsons I'm sorry about your ass and your stomach man that's rough and for Chick-fil-A to do you

so dirty part of me wants to jump to their defense like it must have been something else the door dash person uh what the fuck sabotaged him that'll work yeah i don't know you know it was all sealed up i remember well that you know it was all like taped up and everything with stickers oh that keep rolls of tape in the glove compartment. He's got like, so they can steal your fries and put them back on. Wouldn't that be shot?

Like, wouldn't that be horrifying as if like you opened your bag with the safety tape and you like eat all your food and then you see like double-sided scotch tape. Or like a note from the door dash or hope you enjoyed that. Like right at the bottom of the fries. No matter what delivery app I'm using, when I use those,

I always leave a really good tip because I'm afraid of people tampering with my food. Really? Yeah. I always just, I have enough friends who worked in restaurants who would talk about fucking with people's food and just being dickheads. Like I've always been afraid of it.

Granted, these were like 17-year-olds who worked at fast food when I was playing hockey with them, so I'm sure most people aren't like that, but they certainly... I'll take the chip away if I don't think they've done a good job. You can do that? Oh, yeah.

We all keep saying DoorDash. Is that one the winner? Is that one the popular one? We're not saying back and forth i go back and forth postmates or i i use postmates or i don't order a lot of food at all really but if i'm gonna if i'm gonna order it's either postmates or door dash and i usually only use door dash if i want something that postmates doesn't have like like like um there's there's like a thai a Thai restaurant and a Japanese steakhouse that I can order from DoorDash that I'll use.

DoorDash, I think the minimum order amount that you get free delivery is $12. I think maybe with Postmates it's $15. If I'm ordering for two... Sometimes that's right in the ballpark of where you land. Yeah. Breakfast can be hard sometimes because it's like shit i just want like eight dollars of food

and it'll be like add seven more dollars and get free delivery and the delivery is like five six dollars it's like i'm making money i'm making money if i just get five more dollars for the food but if i'm ordering for like uh like like more than one person, I'll almost always use Postmates. Postmates gives you tons of deals. Like I'm always getting like little, like maybe twice a week I get a deal. It's like, hey, if you spend $25, you get $5 off. Or if you spent, one of them I got recently was like, if you spend $100, you get $25 off. Now, I don't know when I'm going to spend $100 on Postmates, but there are a couple of catering companies that use Postmates.

So if I had like my whole family here, like I could probably do that. Like Honey Baked Ham Company delivers through Postmates, which is pretty cool. They're good. At home, I pretty much don't use those services. Like I actually,

I have literally never used them even once, but on the road I will. And it does an interesting thing to me. It makes me overeat. Like I, it's just the cost of the tip and the delivery kind of threatens the cost of the meal sort of, but it's almost like,

well, where you could order two meals, the delivery is about the same. And it's just, it almost seems like a better deal when you double up the food yeah the one thing that i do differently the one thing i do differently and that's one of the reasons i really like ordering through an app is um like if i were at the drive-thru or even you know if i went in to order something i would never like completely special order um like whatever i

was going to get i wouldn't want to like bother them with that. I don't eat Taco Bell anymore. Last time I ate Taco Bell, it made me sick too. It's gross. I'm literally never eating Taco Bell again. I hadn't eaten it for two, three years because I don't eat Taco Bell if I don't have weed. It's just not going to happen. No one does. I eat Taco Bell. It's the only way. Maybe eight months ago or something, I was like, let's try a little Taco Bell. I was just happen like you know what does taco bell like it's the only way but then like maybe like eight months ago or something i was like let's try a little taco bell and i was just so fucking grossed out by it it was so nasty like that meat was just oh i was like i used to eat this like the meat was

so fucking nasty but when you can like special grade f i do like how you can be like yeah add add this remove that add this remove that and they've got like a huge list of how you can be like, yeah, add this, remove that, add this, remove that. And they've got a huge list of things you can add. I do like special ordering stuff because I don't have to deal with it. The only time I'll pick, I use Postmates pretty much every time. Except there's like one place that Postmates or DoorDash, the only place that will deliver it is Grubhub for some reason near me. And that place is really good.

And so if I'm ordering from there, I'll do Grubhub because that's the only option. But like, it's just, it's so convenient. It's so convenient. It's dangerous. Super convenient. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you sneezing now too?

No, that was cringe. That was, I almost vomited. Oh, shit. I now too? No, that was cringe. That was almost vomited. Oh, shit. I got a weed question. So I have a friend who recently stopped smoking weed. But when he smoked, he smoked a lot. He was an alpha level smoker. And he was telling me sort of how he got there.

He liked to run. But he's like, running is better when you're high. um he liked to run so but he's like running is better when you're high he liked uh he like i'm trying not to dox him by listing all his activities he enjoys flying like i do but he says that's better when you're high he uh you know shit folding laundry was one he mentioned he's like folding laundry kind of sucks when you're not high and then like it just everything he did became like well this is better while high so it started to be like everything he did was he was always high yeah and then um i really don't want to dox him on this but for reasons i won't call out he decided it was a good time to stop

and uh um he's like stepped up but like i't know, like his life has improved in a couple of ways and he still does smoke every now and then usually other people give it to him. But, and to be clear, this person I'm talking about is not Kyle. Do you think you've had a relatable experience where like, you know, like you're not smoking anymore. And then like a lot of things are going super cool for you? No. My life is terrible without marijuana. I don't enjoy

anything anymore. Everything is just a dull madness one day after another countdown until I can smoke it again. These last two years, I might as well have not existed. You're crushing. You're doing so well in so many facets of life that

like i'm almost like man this is such a good version of kyle i know i want him to be able to smoke weed it's gonna make him so happy it's just i i hate every moment of existence kyle's like like like in plato's cave right now He's just been looking at the shadows of real life. I think I might have. I've definitely had this conversation in my head before. Everything is better high. Everything's better high. Sex is so much better high.

He mentioned that too. But when everything is better high, then everything is a reason to be high. When he mentioned folding laundry, I was like, well, shit, folding laundry is better high. And I believe him. Then what's not? You know, cooking. He seemed to feel like the senses were just more enjoyable, like the odors and stuff.

And so he likes to cook while high. He likes to fold laundry while high. He likes to watch shows, TV and whatnot while high. Everything is better high, which is why you're always high that that's where he took me to on this thing right and eventually i'm like hitting it back like starts with why they start the day ends with why i need to say there's a good reason to get high yeah and uh and then when he stopped smoking he um uh you know like things got a lot of parts of his life started doing better i'm going to tell you why he stopped smoking privately in the chat no when i stopped smoking i found that i stopped being able to enjoy like a lot of my favorite things um and

did that not go away over time no i i still like really dislike i can't really watch any of my favorite tv shows or i don't really enjoy movies anymore um i don't really want to go to like theme parks or um uh you know like like um really anything like that um i don't like comedies anymore i don't watch i haven't watched a movie in like two years um uh lots of video games that are like rpgs and stuff i can't play those anymore you have to be able to think of one thing that you like doing not high like an example like you've said before that you were high constantly as we knew you know doing this show yeah i i would not like that like it would make me like up. I wouldn't want to talk as much.

I talk more when I'm high, and I'm a lot more laid back, and I'm having a good time. Everything is more enjoyable. Especially right now, I really wish I was high, because right now I'm just fucking miserable. But no, I don't think there's anything that's not better when you're high. For me, anyway. So, and it's, I don't really enjoy a lot of the things that I used to enjoy sober.

It didn't, I'm sorry. I'm just killing time. You know, I've been killing time for the last two years. It didn't pull me in like it seems to have pulled you. I haven't touched that pen since I got home, if I had it. You're not getting high, though. I'm listening. That pen's kind of weak sauce.

I feel like you're judging me by what we saw on the show, which is fair. That's all you've seen. But there were other nights where it was like, I want to go to bed. I'm taking four big hits where I'm coughing afterwards and holding it. And I'm a much better than what you saw, which was my first time. I just think the pens in general, like the pen that I've, I've only used a pen once,

but I, I remember thinking like, this is like weed light. This is, this is pretty, this is pretty weak sauce compared to like smoking a joint or a bowl. A bowl for your benefit is like a really cheap little pipe. Oh, like a – yeah.

You put your thumb on the hole to like be able to draw and you sort of light it from the top. It's this little thing. I didn't know that. It looked like a pipe pipe. Like you don't put tobacco in it. You just suck it through. That's not how it works? No, you've got a little hole that you put your thumb over so that you can draw upon it succulently what does the hole do

what it prevents air from coming through so you you feel the chain on the hole you light then you remove your your your thumb from there and it lets you get all the smoke that's in there without drawing air from back through the plant matter again so it's allowing you to remove the smoke that's in there you're gonna be unbelievably ripped on like nothing which is gonna be a nice treat for you oh it's gonna be so nice to get high on just small amounts of just just flour but um but yeah like i don't know i always liked getting super super super high like it was never an option to me to like get a little high like i didn't i never understood that like i want to get fucked up high just just i wanted to like um like my girlfriend and i um all my girlfriends and i would just like have like a whole

ritual right we're like we could cook dinner have it there, have our movie ready to go, and then have a ton of weed and just smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke until I was just barely able to function anymore. And then just chill and eat the food and watch the movie and hang out and cuddle on the couch or whatever and continuously be smoking. I would never just smoke and be like, all right, we'll see when this wears off. No, no, no, no, no. Every 30 minutes, we we're gonna smoke more like i'm going to be that high all the time it was an absolute marathon smoking with you and chiz on that trip because like the person you just described is the way like in college i would sometimes do that where i just be like all right guys let's just get as silly high as we can but like mostly if i take like one bong rip or something, like I'm good for hours, like I'm still feeling nice.

And like, I don't like getting to that level of high where like, you almost spook yourself. Like, I don't want that. I don't want to start like the disassociative feeling of being like, I feel like I'm telling my arm to move and it's doing it at a slightly later time than I told it. I know that's not real. And, but I didn't even have hints of that. So maybe Kyle's right that I didn't get that high.

You don't need to, but you still got high. Like it's the same way that like, well, you, you hate drinking, but you would rather have, if you,

if you, if you had to drink Woody, would you rather have if you if you if you had to drink woody would you rather have three beers or 15 probably three yeah yeah yeah like you would get to that three and you'd be like i'm set it's kind of a happy place where jokes are just a little funnier you're a little less inhibited um there's a like it's not drunk tipsy right you're just tipsy you're just a little better a little social lubricant yeah that's that's how i am with weed is that like there is a point where if i pass that point with highness i'm now no longer having a good time

i'm like hoping that it will go down and i'll get back down to pleasantville for both of you no that never gets like i only get there from edibles where i'm where i'm like scary high and i don't like people say that does it bother you that weed has gotten like corporate that it's standardized that there are businesses making edibles no good for them like no i don't mind any of that product i've never been into sort of the like hippie dippy bullshit side of it and all that nonsense um all that my friend is that's why i asked that was like he he hates this idea of concentrates or businesses getting involved he feels like it should be a i guess hippie thing oh i've never even heard that point of view yeah i i

i i don't share that at all. You've heard it. Isn't Rastafarianism to some extent, isn't marijuana part of that religion? It is. It's literally part of their religion. No, I don't view marijuana that way. I don't have this whole connection with it

where people are like, oh yeah, God gave us that for X, Y, and Z or any of that nonsense. It's like, this stuff, it's God gave us that for X, Y, and Z or any of that nonsense. It's like, this stuff is just real fun, man. This is just the way we should all be all the time. This is just great. It makes horror movies better. Everything's better.

Everything's better. Like you could go down a list. You could be like, oh, it makes horror movies better. It also makes ice cream better. It also makes fried chicken better. It also makes like a protein it also makes fried chicken better something also makes like a protein shake better doing the show working out is better running is better i was about to say that i doing the show i wouldn't want to do that stoned and working out i i would not want to do that stoned now i did a twitch stream of me working out and the chat was unanimous on the idea

that you get this better mind muscle connection that you focus on it. And my workouts have been up and down sometimes. I will take three hours to do a 90 minute workout sometimes. And then today I was on the other end. Like I just fucking supersetted everything. I might use superset wrong. What is it called when like, I think I can do rear delts and biceps

without like the one exercise bleeding into the other, right? Because they're different muscle groups as opposed to like lat pull downs and biceps. So I'll just do like a set of one and then barely need to rest and do a set of other. And then while I was doing that other set, I kind of rested the first set and I go right back to it and save time. Is that a super set?

Yeah. I'm just like super setting fucking everything and getting a 90 minute workout done in 60 some days. And then the other times it takes me three hours and it's like, Woody, can you just get it straight? I don't know. Yeah.

Maybe being stoned wouldn't be good for you. It'd be five hours in and you'd be like, I haven't started the good warm-up i think working out would be tremendously better high i think you'd just be kind of be able to kind of zone out go with the program uh not be overthinking things too much um literally everything like you could like like i was saying a moment ago like you could start making a list but it's a much shorter list list to pick out the things that aren't better when you're stoned. At least for me anyway.

I used to film videos stoned. I would do difficult stuff that requires your full attention stoned, and I would have no issue. Were you enjoying it though or were you like saying okay i'm about to do the shooting let me push the high away for a moment and then i can focus and then let it kind of come back no i just i'm i'm pretty good about that like um uh you know just i don't think everyone is but i just think me in particular i'm pretty good at doing things that are more difficult than uh when i'm high like without really being all that impaired well i mean you're it probably wasn't even your peak tolerance but your tolerance was fucking absurd on that trip

oh yeah yeah like you could smoke for like eight minutes straight of like barely getting any oxygen and then like it'd be like you were talking normally, but your eyes were entirely closed. You'd be like, Taylor, can I tap this to get it? And it's like, what card are you even talking about, man? The one I'm looking at. The one I'm looking at, clearly. Yeah, just super high tolerance.

I earned every bit of that tolerance you know it would uh i i was i was just always smoking and then i had transitioned to a lot of concentrate by the time we went on that trip i was smoking a lot of concentrate by then and uh i i used to smoke bowls i would just smoke like lots and lots of flour and uh but it was always kind of hard to get like a solid dealer so that i could have like a normal amount and i never wanted to buy more than ounce because i thought that that was the amount where you get in trouble silly me yeah i should have been buying eight pounds at a time and just getting it over with i guess like like fuck me it would have probably would have

been better i remember one time i don't have ever told this before but i was in my uh i was in my truck and i had i had my girlfriend and uh and two of her friends in my truck with me and uh we were we were in atlanta and one of the friends in the back pulls out a backpack and she goes look what i've got she's got three pounds of marijuana oh my god and i'm just like i'm just like the fuck why am i driving around with three pounds of marijuana in my vehicle right now it's like a pillowcase full it's three pounds of marijuana is like a big it's like a backpack full almost like a girl's backpack for sure and my girlfriend is like why wouldn't you tell us that you have that you're trying to get him in trouble she's like he can't be driving

around with three pounds of marijuana in the car she's like i just thought it was cool i was trying to impress you guys but apparently it's not cool i won't go too in depth with like what she was uh what she did but like she was working she worked with some bands and uh that are pretty well known and uh and so like she had gotten hooked up with an enormous amount of weed that she was passing along to some people. I mean, sometimes you need 48 ounces. Sometimes you need a solid 48 ounces. I had never seen so much.

I was just like, I had no idea. I was driving around with a backpack full of cannabis right now. I was like, you got to get that out of my car right away. I've never seen that much in my life. I had never seen an ounce before. I would always get like half an ounce or a quarter of an ounce or something like that. And it wasn't until we went to Colorado for the first time

that I actually saw like big amounts of marijuana in those stores. It's so cool when you go out there. If you've grown up in a state where it's not legal and you've only seen it in like shady places, like some guy was like, yeah, I got a little bit of this. What do you think? You're like, I don't know, man. It looks good to me.

Give it to me. And then you go to Colorado and it's just like an iPad store or an Apple store with like just everything you can imagine and just an endless supply of it and all the pre-rolls and concentrates and everything. I'm so excited. 64 days. Are you,

are you going to ease yourself back in and just smoke like this? You don't want to jump back into concentrates and ruin your tolerance. You should like level yourself up and maximize the enjoyment on the lower. I think so. I do the flower. And then I don't know what's after flour between that and concentrate. Is there anything? I'll probably smoke some...

I would say the thing between the two is probably some of the more high-end pre-rolled joints that have keef and... Before flour might be pen. No, pen is concentrate. I felt like my pens were weak. That's why I got that.

I don't like the pens, if I'm being honest. I'm going to probably smoke some joints, get some bowls of water bong or something like that. I don't like blunts. I haven't smoked a blunt in fucking forever. Is that the one from a cigar? A blunt is really like, yeah, you empty out like a Swisher or a white owl or something and then you roll it back up i never learned how to roll anything and so i remember like being at people's houses or apartments in college and to be like we're gonna smoke and i'm like yes where's the glass baby and they're like no i have a dry

grape swisher from 2008. Fuck. This is going to be horrible. It's going to burn too fast down the sides. What they are, they're the cheapest black people cigars you've ever seen that you get at a gas station. And black people cigars are flavored.

Black people cigars. Everybody who listens to this knows I'm telling the truth. And black people who are listening are like, yeah, those black people cigars. And they're flavored like... I like how Kyle's accent switches to like, yeah, those are black people's cigars.

What are you, Jive Turkey? Yeah. And they're like peach or grape or like apple or some shit like that. Cherry. I've only had one ever. It was a bachelor party and it was cherry swisher.

Yeah. And, you know, they'll split that bitch up with a razor blade, stuff it with weed, roll it back up. Usually take all the tobacco out. Is it still flavored? Yeah, it's still flavored. And not only that, the wrap is the flavored part. And the wrap is tobacco. The wrap is tobacco leaf.

That's how cigars work. Cigars are wrapped with tobacco leaf. You're getting a nicotine hit as well as a THC hit. It's not cardboard like I thought it was? I thought it was like cigarettes with cardboard on the outside.

I thought it was like a toilet paper tube. was like cigarettes with cardboard on the outside. I thought it was like a toilet paper tube. Oh, man. Bobby, explain the taste. There has to be a better idea. No, those are tobacco leaves. But yeah, I've only

smoked a blunt like once and it was with X x jaws in that in the hotel room in vegas that time uh and uh but but usually i would either roll joints or uh smoke out of a bowl i liked rolling joints i had one of the little joint rollers um i don't know if you ever used one of those taylor for you just it's this little plastic thing that yeah i don't know how to describe it very well but it's a little mechanism that you like feed the paper into and then you like roll it and put stuff the weed in and it like perfectly rolls you know what's funny you're saying about that is i remember i bought one of those in college and i was so high trying to use it that i put it in reverse and what it's supposed to do is you

twist it and then a little little joint pops out i did it and it was just a showering of weed. And then a flat paper came out and I was like, oh, I'm just going to keep using glass. This why did I buy this anyway? Glass is the master race of glass. It is the best. And like it's one of those things where like, I don't know, I really like nice glass. I had a very nice bong i had a couple nice bongs one of them the federal government took and the other one i had i had broke i

accidentally broke i had this really nice hand blown piece of glass that i had bought in atlanta and i dropped that poor motherfucker and shattered it i think everybody's done that um that smokes a lot they've dropped their nice piece of glass oh yeah yeah. But the one that I, that, um, that the, the feds took, I had actually, it was the one from our trip. It was the one from our trip. Remember I, I bought that big ass bong. Yeah, that was a nice one. Yeah. I mailed that bitch home. So he's checking the mail. Yeah. Just covered in res. Um, I mailed it back to my house. It was, big it's like 250 um like like big tall like thick

glass bong and uh and that's the one that i had at my house when uh when i when i got in trouble yeah that sucks you lost a good one lost a good one i think i get it back when this is all over that was i asked for it i remember uh this was like my probably sophomore year of college and a buddy came over and it was it was after we were out at a party. And it was just he and I and someone else and we were going to smoke. And I kept asking him because he was drunk. I was like, hey, Adam, like you're not going to like get the spins or get crossfaded too hard. Like, I don't want to pressure you to smoke. And he's like, I know how to smoke, dude.

I've smoked a ton of times. I was like, okay. And I loaded it up for him and it was my apartment. And so I was being polite. I gave him that to hit. And you know where you like the down stem? You obviously lift it directly out of the down stem. No lateral movement.

No. And this gentleman was a gym rat who was enormous. Okay. And he was going first try. He puts his mouth on the bong, blows the whole bowl out by blowing a little bit at first. And he was like, fuck. All right. Well, let's load up another one then adam and then he was gonna do the next one and he pulled to the right and shattered the

entire down stem and the thing that holds the down oh he broke the bong it's broke the entire bong and i was like furious like i didn't let it be known because I didn't want to be rude. Like I didn't want to make him like put him on the spot. But it was like, dude, that was a $200 bong with a percolator. Two percolators. Do you know what? Do you see how those are spick and span clean as can be? It's because I put some 420 cleaner in there just today.

And you just shattered it. Just shattered it. He didn't replace it? No, he didn't replace it. He had no money. It was really, I haven't spoken to him since college. He was a really nice guy. Since then, actually.

Yeah, since like about six months after that. Yeah, that's when we started talking. I had a girl once drop it, and it broke only in like, obviously if it's going to break the downstem area is more vulnerable to break. And so like that area that holds the downstem that just cracked off. So when you were like trying to pull the downstem out, that whole surrounding capsule came out with it.

Like if you would have tilted it that far, it would have just dumped the water everywhere. That was annoying as hell. Someone breaking your glass is infuriated. Thank God that was a college problem. I had carpet in my bedroom, so usually if I dropped it, the worst thing that would happen is I'd get some bong water on the floor and I'd have to go

rent one of those steam cleaners to get the stink out of the carpet. But yeah, if you drop one... It stinks. Bong water stinks. It's really gross. The thing is... I'm not around pot much, but it's been my observation that cigarettes have a stink that doesn't go away. It changes the value of your car.

It's like a permanent thing. If you're in the same room as a smoker, now you're a closed smoke. You smell bad. You get home and someone's like, dude, what the fuck? Pot doesn't do that. You can be in the room of pot smokers and you don't come home smelling like pot. I don't think. Yeah.

And you never like. But I guess long water is different. Like when I was in college, I would have never dreamed of like lighting up a cig in my apartment or like a cigar, a stogie and just walking around. But like, yeah, you can smoke. And I did smoke weed in there pretty much every day and never smelled it goes away immediately i don't know what the chemical reason is for that but yeah there's something i didn't smoke that makes it stick to oh the tar makes it stick to everything yeah that does make sense because it's tar

it's tar is a bit sticky yeah yeah it's literally if you've ever seen where people smoke a ton indoors, how they'll move a picture frame and there's a clean spot on the wall. They've literally painted the interior of their home with tar. That's how Wing's grandma's house was, remember? Next door?

If people smoke a ton of pot, it'll make the room smell a bit, right? Yeah, eventually it'll have this dank smell to it for sure. You'd have to smoke a lot, I would imagine. The hotel where I rented in Colorado, I'm like,

this is a bit of a pot. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. Eventually you can absolutely impart some kind of a smell to the room. Bong water is kind of gross, though. Especially if you don't change it frequently.

Something about the water filtering out impurities and the smoke and everything. I don't know. It gets really fucking gross. It's not a good smell. And so if you accidentally drop your bong and break it or if you tip your bong over and the water spills onto the floor it's really fucking nasty i've accidentally spilled the water on myself before and it was like all right i'm gonna take a shower now

it's like it's so gross you've got to go wash your clothes and take a shower i've seen people drink the water wait i i guess it gets you high no there's no way it does it's just like a dare like eating a cockroach or something yeah yeah it's just it's just like yeah i'm hardcore i'm gonna drink this bong water fear factor shit yeah it's just fucking gross it's just fucking gross there's no way it gets you high, I don't think. I would never find out. Have you paid attention to Simone Bales? Do I have her name right?

I don't know who that is. Okay. So apparently the best gymnastics chick to have ever lived is at the Olympics right now. And she did a vault or two that were easy for her. She either struggled with one or didn't hit the other or something like that. She says she's not injured, that it's

just pressure and mental illness or something. She pulled out of the Olympics. She said of the team event that she might come back and do some of the individual events later, which sits a little funny for me. Like, yeah, I might go pick up some golds at the shit I like, but I'm not doing this team event anymore. You know? Yeah.

And it seems to be along political lines where all the liberals are like, oh, I got the poor sweetheart a break. And all the conservatives are like, fuck you, you woke bitch. You know, how dare you? She is. How dare you, like, disrespect America by pulling out for mental health issues? You know, toughen up. Yeah. I just don't care about the Olympics.

Like, it gets recommended to me a little bit. Oddly enough, the only two things that have been recommended to me on YouTube are the air rifles and the archery, which is actually the shit that I... Growing up, I was always like, why is the air rifle and the archery never on TV? That's the shit I would actually want to see. I've never...

It's so boring. Well, it's the shit I like to see. It's the shit I do. You must see intrinsically that it's not shit i like to see but it's the shit i you know you must see intrinsically that is not an action sport and it's about standing as still as possible and moving your finger a tiny bit or like sporting clays i'm pretty sure they shoot skeet in the olympics like i would like to see that um they do air rifle in the olympics i saw some of that he's saying it's not on tv and i was saying that like in terms of like made for tv

like even curling is a little dramatic as you watch the things as you watch the curl slowly unveil you know how are they going to be able to get it to stop in the spot they wanted to will it hit that thing really i know look i i get that it's lame i get that the competitors look like dads like i'm totally on board with that but in terms of a sport and the way that the competitors look like dads. I'm totally on board with that. But in terms of a sport and the way that the action unfolds as it slowly reveals how on course this thing, whether it's too fast, whether it's too slow, there's some drama there.

Yeah, as you watch and see how it unfolds and unveils and how it plays out. It's cool to watch curling. It's just designed to be interesting to see even though the athletes who do it are not interesting to look at gymnastics originated it's so gymnastics is crazy the stuff they do the athletic feats they pull off make nba players look like me like the the gymnastic stuff is just outrageous i only watch for the ass i'm just not interested in it you know i get that i get that and also and for the ass i saw on reddit i guess it was like

the norwegian man i've been the norwegian like i don't know some women's team like like came up with some new uniforms they were gonna wear and it wasn't the volleyball it was something else and they were like these are less sexualized and i was like i could see every inch of that chick's pussy like like are you kidding me they had like formed like like i could tell what each chick's labia looked like i was like all right so that that's one of those real skinny labias that sticks out a lot and that's one of those nice fat wide ones oh someone's got some butterfly wings i could go down i could go down the line and i could i could determine what kind of labia uh uh each woman had from her like leotard she was wearing and the

comments were all like why don't they always wear these and then one guy one person was like i don't know these are still pretty sexualized and it's like all right let's put them in a burka how about that oh you wouldn't like that oh they should be they should be that would be so fucking funny to see the saudi team doing that in a burka flying around it might actually add a cool little element i i think that's what we should do i think we should put all the women's athletes in burkas and that way there will be no complaints about over sexualizing them and there will also be no one watching well i mean i'll watch just relax when some bitch takes her head off on the on the uneven bars or whatever what are we the best at in the summer olympics i know michael phelps isn't in the game anymore we just won the foil i don't think we're the best at swimming we lost to the fucking russians in ladies gymnastics this year we were

supposed to be the best at that i don't know if our men's gymnastics is any good nobody ever cares yeah we just we wanted the gold for the first time in um in the foil which is like fencing with a specific kind of sword oh that's cool we'd never done that before we apparently not yeah us yeah our kind who's good at that i imagine italy would be good at that the team appears to be a handball team i looked it up and handball which i didn't know looks a lot like basketball but you shoot it into a big soccer net and they so they just sort of run forward check each other and throw the ball in a net that's the game where it's like why even have a goalie like there is a goalie yeah it's like like if you're the best handball goalie on earth

your save percentage is 28 or something like it's like you're getting scored on more it's like being a lacrosse goalie where you're letting in as many goals as you save which seems like the most disheartening position in the world at least in hockey i mean with hockey like there's higher you know expectations like if if your save percentage is 90 in hockey they're like this guy's a fucking scrub sent into the minors if it's 92 they're like this guy's this guy's the best on earth right now you know they're like people who don't know hockey always like why don't they put a sumo athlete in goal with lacrosse maybe this is starting to make sense. Maybe just take a sumo dude. What if it's a big pads and have them,

you know, learn the basics of angles and yeah, there you go. A lacrosse goal is smaller, at least width wise. So that makes sense. There's nobody fat enough to be six feet wide, like in the NHL.

But right. I feel like if you got a guy with severe lymphedema, who's really soaking up a lot of that ground space The ball hits him in the dense days for two and a half days. His rebound control is unmatched Pretty well the ball stays in his calf

Like it was styrofoam or something Willie the Blob Williamson another side I think Vice actually did a thing about the Willie the Blob Williamson, another side. Don't know why he's British. I think Vice actually did a thing about the ROlympics

subreddit and how it sexualizes female Olympians. Oh, does it? It's what it's for. That's the point. You know, so I was looking up what the fuck handball was while you guys were talking about the Norwegian team. Dude, if you unsexualize women's sports,

then people won't care about women's sports. If I'm every other handball athlete, I'm like, dude, what I have to carry the load by myself. You got a nice ass. Put the, put the bikini on. What is the least sexualized women's sport out there? WNBA. WNBA.

And who watches that? No one, not even their dads. Well, WNBA and who watches that no one not even their dads I'm sorry there's a Raptors game on I'm going to watch that at home instead of coming to your game sweetheart oh Kyle made it okay did you not realize what you said

no no I didn't internalize it until after I finished the stupid joke. I'm on Olympics as well right now. And this lady at the top stretching, she knows what

she's doing. She's fucking the shit out of that girl. Is it right now or is it all time? It's right now and it's the same Italian woman. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have to do that?

Oh, now it's a video and she's bouncing. She has to know. She absolutely does. Wow. And she looks behind. She's really pretty. Does she wonder why the cameraman's there instead of in front? There's a part two stretching. Are you seeing this?

Yes, that's even funnier. The part two is great. Yeah, the part two, you can actually see her vagina from behind. You can straight up see the outline of her labia. Presenting like a dog. Like a baboon. Like a baboon.

Those Italians. What's this other one? Sunni lead. I'm not even going to look at this one because we didn't win. Or maybe we did. How many golds do we have so far? Are we winning the Olympics? If not, then I don't care.

Olympic current winner. Is that how you do it? Winner? Maybe most medals. Most medals? There's two ways to measure it. Most golds and most medals. And I don't know what's best.

They should do a point system. A 3-2-1. Gold's worth three. Silver's two. Bronze is one. Add them up. Who got the win? That makes sense.

I like that. Because just doing gold seems also like a space race kind of you know bullshit yeah right you know uh sure china got 700 silvers but we got the gold win it's like maybe oh we're winning all right in swimming the way we did points was five three one so if you got first place and I got second and third, you still won. It was all about first. But 4-3...

I'm sorry. 5-3-1. We get four, you get five. It's pretty close. If we do your 3-2-1 count... Actually, they only have it by total medals or just gold. Just gold we're one behind China right now. But total medals, we're eight ahead of China.

Aha. And then the 3-2-1 system is complex to figure out. I bet you could do it. Do it. Well, it's a lot to add up because it's like 40 medals, 38 medals. It'd be a good bet. Japan number four. Six multiplication problems.

Yeah, I'm not doing that. Kyle's good for mental math usually. So US, China, Russia. I mean, isn't that always the top three? Every single time? Why Russia? Their population isn't that large.

They focus on it. They have a culture of victory. So does Australia. I don't think... Russia has a lot of government-funded programming. That's a good point. They really focus on it. Australia is number five.

They're behind us, China, Russia, and Japan. Good for Japan getting their head in the game this year. Well, it's their series. So a lot of times the host can introduce sports, and they pick things they can do well in. Like, oh, America's hosting it. Well, funny thing. This Summer Olympics is having snowboarding.

I made that example up. But, yeah, they're like skateboarding and surfing, get introduced and shit like that where the Americans are going to do well. Apparently, Bangladesh doesn't have any medals. Like ever. Color me surprised. Oh, ever? Summer Olympics, Los Angeles, school shooting.

For Bangladesh? I think he's saying a sports that we can call that. We would dominate that one. School shootings. That would be an interesting event Marksmanship but it all happens in classrooms It's all in classrooms Yeah The physics 101 three gun competition

Going from door to door You have to identify which kids are cool and not shoot them And the teacher has locked the door Let's see how he handles this one It's like remember that Simpsons Where Marge trains to become a police officer And the teacher has locked the door. Let's see how he handles this one. It's like, remember that Simpsons where Marge trains to become a police officer and she's shooting in the course and it's like the robber

pops up, the baby, the mom, the crippled guy, and she doesn't shoot them. And then Chief Wiggum comes out and he's like, you miss the baby? The mom? The pregnant woman? Fencing. Dude, I got my teeth cleaned yesterday. It was terrible.

It was awful. It was the worst teeth cleaning I've ever had in my life. Did you go to a black dentist? Did he square you up? My bottom front teeth were uncrowded for the first time in like 30 years. I have like new tooth exposure that hadn't been exposed since I had braces as an 18 year, 17 year old. And they're just cleaning and cleaning. And it was fricking brutal and never stopped. And then I, you know, that was why. So, and I saw my teeth in the mirror, they're visually cleaner.

Like that she, I guess maybe they're supposed to be. I don't know. Normally my teeth are clean when I go in there, and they're clean when I leave. This time they were dirty and clean out, I guess. My bottom teeth are shinier visually. You can tell the difference. This was a comment on the Olympics thing. It's a picture of a long jumping woman with her ass.

We probably can't even show this on YouTube. Her ass just presented in the top comment you see it yeah and the top comment is if i die spread my ashes in the sand pit of women's long jump look at the man in the background he's just like god damn and he has to look at that and be like wow what feat. Wow, you sure did jump well. If you're just interested in performance, probably a thong is the way to go. I think they should be naked as they were in olden times.

You're making a lot of sense. Maybe I should pick which ones are naked. There weren't any women allowed either. None? None. Maybe the women were allowed, but they couldn't compete with the men. Well, I mean,

that's any competition in physical sports. I don't know. Ancient Greece, I'm pretty sure that you had to be naked. I don't think there were women. In ancient Greece, they had like biting and gouging and all sorts of stuff wrestling yeah individual sports just biting gouging and

wrestling the athenians have the number one gouger right now taylor walks in like clearly we have a biting competitor everybody he's the only competitor with both eyes that's that's two eyes you know johnson probably not yeah there was this um there was this wrestling champion whose move was to pin the other guy and start breaking his fingers one by one and so that's russian or iranian like i know of this guy and so they had to ban the breaking of fingers. Oh. That was recent, right? Like that was a thing. I thought it was an ancient times thing. I think I'm right.

But my head's pounding with the intensity of a thousand suns right now. So I can't remember. Your what is hurting? My head. You got a headache now too? That's probably because you're too hot-headed, right? I've had a headache the whole time.

I mean, I've had two of these during the show you're gonna have to crack open a third because you're just you're losing your fluid so quick that is the worst about vomiting and having diarrhea you just can't replenish oh shit i'm seeing it as an ancient thing too but i thought that i i thought i heard it as a chill sonnet story story. Now I'm wondering if I'm mixed up. Oh, here it is. Two ancient Greek wrestlers that are remembered today are Leon Tiskos of Messine and Milo of Croton. Leon Tiskos is famous for winning the Olympics after breaking his opponent's fingers. The ancient Greek wrestler who only broke people's fingers.

That is so funny. The only rules, no eye gouging or biting. I was wrong. I guess those were earlier Olympics and they thought they were being progressive in this one. The wild thing is they would have those chariot

races as part of the Olympics back then. I'm almost positive you would compete in chariot race nude yeah you probably want to be as light as possible yeah that's not come on tarzan's not adding too much weight yeah you did everything naked yeah i mean i like that we should take that from the greeks we're already you know stealing this bit of greek culture by doing the i'll tell you what you want to get me to watch the Olympics, you go back to the olden times.

Take it back to the Greek rules, and I'll watch. I can't explain why, but if wrestlers were to wear ideally board shorts, or second place, like the sort of tight shorts that UFC guys often wear, like almost

bicycling shorts. It seems less gay than the singlets they wear that go over their shoulders. Even though they'd be bare-chested. Dude, those singlets, you've got to get rid of them. It's hurting your sport. So gay. I mean, I think they should do that now.

I don't know. Maybe I'm a little gay, but I'd be someone interested in seeing what they look like. It's part of... When you see the weigh-ins at a UFC fight and like the conditioning that this guy brought in versus that guy brought in or like a specimen like Tyrone Woodley, uh, who even now it like 40 or something looks outrageously good. Or TJ Dillashaw. Like he's a TJ Dillashaw is a little guy. I think he weighs one. If it's not 35, it's 25. Say that again? He's done both.

Even for a 135 pounder, he just seemed jacked somehow for a guy who cuts a lot of weight. That's interesting to me, but you put a guy in a singlet and you just miss a lot of it. You don't see what's up. I agree. I'm looking at these volleyball ones

and it's like the equipment manager must be running the dryer on extra, extra long and extra, extra hot for all of their outfits because this is barely clothes. If I walked around her with duct tape three times, more coverage. This is barely clothes. Like it's, you could, like if I walked around her with duct tape three times, more coverage. Yeah, what are we talking about?

Which sport? Volleyball. Volleyball. Oh, volleyball. I saw one earlier. You can see the top of her ass crack and both of her ass cheeks. Yeah, we can't show this on the show, but this one exactly.

It is, that is an equipment manager doing his job yeah it's wonderful stuff i thought i got extra extra large in the oh wow yeah that's the one i was referring to yeah and her friend is like look at that ass yeah her friend is looking at it like that oh that's nice i hope i look i wonder why this is. These bottoms are just not their size. Not even close. It's one thing to show the cheeks. That's kind of the style right now.

The ass crack. This is very small. Keep going through the gallery. I finished the gallery. Look at that chick. Go all the way to where she's wearing. No. She's wearing glasses, her top says ESP. I don't know what that stands for. Oh, she's yoked.

Fucking, that is steroids. There's no way. Look at her arms. Oh, I know. Wait, you don't think that's natural female doubt development? That's shockingly big. Yes. We can show this one.

Yeah. That's scary big. She is, it's number 12 of big. Yes. We can show this one. Yeah. That's scary big. She is. And she's screaming. It's number 12 of 15. Oh! Attack this one. Yeah, that is huge.

Her arm. Do you need that much strength to spike the ball? I don't know. I guess if you want to do it well. I look at her and I think, would my arms and delts look better if I shaved my armpits too? Oh yeah. You don't get those shaved out, man.

Yeah. Should we all shave our armpits in solidarity? I'm way ahead of you, buddy. Dude, if I looked at just her lat to her elbow, I'd think she was a dude. She's so hairy. You can see the hair on her forearm

in that photo. Oh, wow. You can. That's hairy to you? You guys need to step up your hair appreciation game. Well, I'm just saying from this distance, and with all that sweat that should be slicking it down, that's quite a bit. I mean, it's just...

I just don't know that I can compete with her on forearm hair. It's just... I don't know, Kyle. I'm pretty't know that I can compete with her on forearm hair. I don't know, Kyle. I'm pretty sure she's natty. I mean, there's something in the water in, what is that, Spain? Yeah. That just doesn't look real. That looks enhanced to some extent.

A little bit. What have we won? God damn it, I closed the fucking article. I bet we win a lot of the rich people sports, right? I bet we win a lot of the rowing sports. I often see

swimming. I feel like rowing and there's multiple rowing sports, but whenever I hear about that being done collegiately, it's always at a really nice school. It's never like, oh yeah, the University of Tennessee's rowing team. It's always like, yeah, Harvard's rowing team or Yale's rowing team. It just seems like a rich people's sport. UPenn.

Sure. An Ivy League type thing. Stanford. Yeah, now that you mention it uh a question-based sports i think of as rich people's sport oh for sure like and what's funny is i feel like the barrier to entry in for money wise is so big that everyone in it is just like hobbyists from wealthy families like i think mitt romney's kids compete in the olympics or something like that like i think i have this right they competed in elite level in horse dancing and it's like horse dancing like there

just must not be a lot of like non-super rich people into horse dancing. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. Horse dancing? They dance with a horse or they make their horse dance? I imagine they're on top of the horse and they have to do thriller on it or something. Actually, that would be a cool one.

If you could walk a horse. That's what it is. I bet it's not like that. I bet it's the top person doing some arm movements and then the horse kind of just agreeing not to throw them off. I'm reading a story about it. In the World Cup Finals, the Romney's horse kept dancing after the rider was gone. So I don't think it takes a lot of talent from the rider

to participate in horse dancing. Probably just a trainer teaches the horse to dance. I've got to be honest here. Your horse just loves to dance. Why are you even going out there? Look at him. The horse

is out there fucking breaking it down. Classical equestrian dance competition has enormous expenses i mean there's rarely any prize many it's a sport of the rich and famous populated with relatives of bill gates michael bloomberg bruce springsteen yahoo co-finder co-founder jerry yang the romneys have owned by some estimates eight dancing horses this is the lamest thing i've ever seen i just watched a video on horse dancing we i'll link it but zach you can't show this because of the song but uh watch this boys i i don't know what i expected the horse to be able to do but it's more than this it's just trotting it's prancing it's just trotting and

it's a bunch of like rich brits and there's like a hip-hop song playing oh actually it's getting better it's getting better at like 27 seconds when he goes backwards right yeah when he goes backwards when he goes backwards look and there's a woman in the crowd looking so stressed out about Backwards. When he goes backwards, I just get it. And there's a woman in the crowd looking so stressed out about dancing. Look at this white man. What are we listening to? This is actually cool as fuck.

You think this is cool as fuck? I love this. I want to sit with Taylor's grandfather and try to bond over horse dancing. I'm kind of into bullfighting too, but different. Did you hear the British guy giving commentary? He goes, this horse is naturally an up and down kind of mover. They all are. They're horses. You know for a fact that if like our mode of transportation were still horseback riding every black person

would have a horse that does this laughing laughing riding up laughing every Hispanic person has a horse that just bounces up and stops

I put hydraulics on my horse bitch yeah this is beyond stupid and it's absolutely something that only rich weirdos compete in dude if that were on tv right now i would watch it that i honestly like i thought it was going to be much lamer than what you showed me there. It couldn't be lamer. They're playing hip hop music and the horse is actually dancing and you got this prissy looking white person on top wearing all that riding gear. It doesn't fit the mood

at all. We're like one of those riding cats or whatever the fuck. He looks like a butler. It looks like a short top hat The rider should have to be participating in the dance as well Adding a little flair This guy is sitting completely rigid

Stoically As the horse is just What is this move called? I want to see him do one of these things on the horse Do that Do the worm on his back Offbeat as shit. Clap on one and three.

He's clapping to the lyrics instead of the beat. I've clapped on one and three. I can't throw stones. I would have my horse dance to wet ass pussy. Just to get the reaction from all those white people in the crowd no you you just you do like a heavy metal song and he just gallops the whole time with one of those drum machines i had to like turn my um my my audio off the other night when we're playing poker because someone brought out a wop you know wet ass pussy and uh and and um dirty

was like i know all the words to that someone Someone was like, no, you don't. And he literally started singing Wet Ass Pussy and he knew every fucking word to that song. A lot of them are just Wet Ass Pussy, I think. Most of the lyrics are just Wet Ass Pussy, but he knew them all. He knew all of them. There is no Gushy Gushy at all.

This is such a ridiculous song. No, it's... One of the lyrics is Wet no gushy gushy at all. This is such a ridiculous song. Are you sure? One of the lyrics is wet and gushy. If it's in the clean version, right? Why would it be in the clean version? I don't know. That's the one that's on the radio. It's not the one that's on Spotify.

Do you think if the founding fathers watched this music video, they still would have made the country? I don't care what those people think. Oh, wow. I must have heard the clean version and didn't seem that clean. Oh, my man going on poo number five. We do need a counter.

Is it five? Is that accurate? It is five. I've been keeping track. I've been keeping track. Check my notes here. You've got the tally marks. Finally across.

I just, it feels like I should care about the Olympics. Oh, Zach's got the five rolling across the bottom. Poo counter equals five. Five poos. One. Ah, ah, ah. Two. Ah, ah, ah.

How many times will his ruined bowels evacuate today he's gonna come back ask him if his anus is sore yet how you doing Kyle we're concerned he'll lie about it yeah I believe it's been what three hours one minute and 40 seconds

and he shit five times right even dabbing the bottom of my heel couldn't put up with that kind of abuse things working hard yeah i feel like he's fibbing a bit about his uh you know anal status yeah for sure we'll see if he sits down regularly or if he plants his arms in order to gently sit down let's pay close attention to that upon his return let's play pay too close attention way ahead of you i just i don't fucking care about the olympics i don't like i'll watch a couple hockey games in the winter and even then it, it'll be like, Russia, Canada, championship.

And it's like, oh, whoa, you mean I can watch hockey with all the players in the NHL, but none of them are taking it as seriously and they don't hit? Awesome. But wait, the teams that might win take it seriously, right? Oh, once they're that far in, yeah, if it's like a medal competition. But leading up to that. Even leading up to it, I believe if you're on like Americaica canada and maybe whichever european's good that year you russia uh then you're probably like yeah we need to do what it takes to get into the right games but uh if you're a checklist slovakia or something probably just chill enjoy the the experience oh i need to sneak this in before kyle gets back and shuts down

hockey talk uh the carolina hurricanes have had a rough free agency so far oh no what they lost they lost dougie hamilton who is their best defenseman they added a guy named tony d'angelo who's a very offensive defenseman and so he might be able to cover a bit of the difference, but I didn't get into like D'Angelo's stats. Maybe he's one of those offensive defensemen that is absolute garbagio on defense. So that could be it, but they lost him. Uh, he, I guess they didn't want to match what he was getting in free agency to another team. And so I, I like the hurricanes. I like that they're in a market that the people don't really care about. And I like when those teams get good.

It's kind of cool and fun. Like Tampa being a world beater. Tampa Bay, really. But when you have Steve Eisenman as your GM, he tends to get what he wants. But yeah, that sucks. I think someone just hired Ron Francis as their GM. I think it was the Seattle Kraken. Yeah, yeah.

He's the worst GM ever. All those years the Hurricanes didn't make the playoffs, he was the GM. On top of that, he had never traded a player. Yeah, he would trade for picks. You can't get fired from the Hurricanes. I saw it in the an article or something they're like yeah four years here still no one's ever lost their job at the

carolina it's like this is nhl it's like professional sports how could you how could you not like send people away but yeah he oh yeah he's apparently shitting the bed in seattle as well because like part of being an expansion team is you have nobody on your cap hit. And so what you can do is take bad contracts in exchange for picks. So they can go, hey, that guy who's costing you six million a year who sucks now, we'll take him off your books. It's going to cost you a first round pick, though. That's what he should have been doing.

Meanwhile, like everybody on the hockey Redditdit is like lauding the arizona coyotes because they did exactly what seattle is supposed to do and people are hypothesizing that ron francis did something to piss off the other gms and so they are giving their bullshit contracts to arizona instead of seattle because arizona got in trouble and they lost all their picks in the 2022 draft for some kind of cheating I don't remember what it was they did something and now they have two first round picks I know what it wasn't exceeding the cap and winning the Stanley Cup because that's fine it's never been that yeah yeah Tampa and Chicago the sole the winners in that category you just yeah basically the seattle crack and like

total opposite of the vegas golden knights of how well they've handled it we'll see because it is a bit of revisionist history because at the time i remember watching in 2017 the expansion for the vegas golden knights and being like this team is going to be bullshit this is going to be ass and then they overperformed and then there was a little bit of revisionist, like, well, they got all the best picks, which they did of any expansion team. But no one expected that group of kind of middling guys to do anything. Island of broken toys, misfit toys.

And I was reading something that makes a little more sense where it's like Vegas, when they were putting the team in, they knew that the Raiders were coming the next year. And so they're like, we have to be competitive right off the bat or everybody in Vegas is going to not give a shit about a bad hockey team when they're, they knew that the Raiders were coming the next year. And so they're like, we have to be competitive right off the bat or everybody in Vegas is going to not give a shit about a bad hockey team. And they're going to jump on the Raiders. Whereas Seattle,

you don't really get a benefit starting in Seattle. They have professional sports teams, so they might want to set up a little slower, get as many picks as they can, and then build into a more effective long-term team. But they didn't even do that. That sounds crazy. Like,

like, yeah, Seattle, you know, they don't want to be too good right away because that's how sports work. Well, like they wouldn't want to do – so like Seattle wouldn't want to – if they wanted to be good this year, they'd like take a chance on Tarasenko.

They'd take a chance on some expiring contracts in the next couple of years that are very expensive on underperforming guys and just hope that it worked out. But they don't seem to be doing that i'm i love when they add new teams i'm excited to see how it goes uh i hate how successful vegas has been in their first few years because it doesn't seem fair they should have to lose for 32 years like to say lewis blues yes for 50 years 52 years 52 okay and they yeah they took Jaden Schwartz, one of our good offensemen just signed there. The Blues lost both of their top six left wingers yesterday. Did the Blues have Brett Hull and Wayne Gretzky on their team at different times?

They had them at the same time briefly. And they still couldn't win? And they didn't have chemistry is what people say. How does Brett Hull and Wayne Gretzky not have chemistry? Oh, wow. It's the best pure goal scorer of this generation. Oh, wow. It's the best player of all time.

Do something. You can put them on separate lines if you want to. Yeah. And that was so depressing. I remember my dad will tell me, he's like, I remember going to the first game in St. Louis that Gretzky was playing and it was so cool and everyone was convinced he was the final piece to get us the stanley cup and it's like well you can be forgiven for thinking that it's wayne fucking gretzky yeah the guy who breaks records like nobody's business it's it's

even now a question ovechkin just signed five more years with Washington, and people are thinking, like, if he scores 33 goals a season until he's 41 on this five-year contract, he'll get one more goal than Wayne Gretzky's total. Then he would be the leading goal scorer of all time. And so, like, it takes the best pure goal scorer of all time in Ovechkin to kind of maybe get close to where Gretzky was. And goal scoring was never his, you know, forte. It was always setting up plays. So was it, or was it in my opinion, in my memory, he stopped scoring goals and started doing assists like as he aged. Yeah. Yeah. He probably did. Cause naturally as you get older, your shoulders start to get fucked,

but like you're old enough to remember, you got to watch way more gretzky than i did i didn't get to like watch any i was young and like they called it gretzky's office he was the first guy to just go back behind the net and be like i can control the whole game from here and i'm better than everyone on earth so yeah come try and steal it oh you tried to steal it from me well i'm better at passing than you are skating and you just let your guy open goal so it it's awesome to watch his highlights because he's not an athletic specimen in any way he's just he sees five moves ahead on the ice he knows what the defensemen are going to do he knows what his wingers are going to do he knows what your wingers are going to do and the kind of defenseman you're setting up he knows the goalie is skating a little bit too far to the left they're covering that

angle incorrectly like all all of it. You can absolutely beat Gretzky at arm wrestling. And I might be able to. For sure. Like he's not a specimen. He's better at hockey probably. But we need to see. Is Cal muted?

I'm not sure. But. Oh, okay. Just pretending to be muted. All right. You fucking dick. Just pretending to be muted. Alright. You fucking dick. Just pretending to be muted. Poo number five, a little longer than the fourth and third.

Look how he sat down. Did you look? Fuck, I didn't. We were going to pay attention. You sat down gingerly because your asshole is sore. No, I applied some Carmex just now. I'm feeling better now. I've got a little tingle. You put Carmex on your asshole? What is that?

Chapstick. Chapstick. Does everyone know what Carmex is? Yeah, Carmex is like better chapstick. I used Burt's Bees for a while because it's better. It fooled me because it applies better.

Everyone says Burt's Bees is better. I think it's more expensive and I switched. But it doesn't heal your lips. So I went back to Chapstick. It just draws a huge amount of attention to your cold sore, basically. By making it shiny and apparent.

You know what? I have the Burt's Bees in my pocket because it doesn't do shit. The chapstick is on the motorcycle. How are you feeling, Kyle? Real achy. The back of my neck hurts a lot, like where the bones are. And I still got the headache.

And I feel kind of nauseous now. I still got the headache. I feel kind of nauseous now. Not really sure why. I ate all that soup. I should have fixed things right up. What kind of soup? It was the Thai mushroom coconut soup. A creamy soup.

Old choice. It seemed like it was wholesome. You went like a chicken noodle, like a brothy base suit, not a creamy base suit. No, it's definitely creamy base. I agree that's what it is. I'm suggesting that you made a mistake. It's fucking good, though.

When I'm feeling sick, I like to drink a whole bunch of milk. Coconut milk. You know what does always settle settle my stomach are bananas i feel like it's impossible to like get your stomach upset on a banana they're so that's the brat diet right are you familiar with this is a an acronym that parents learn for their children when they have yeah yeah banana rice applesauce applesauce and Applesauce. And toast. Is that right? Nicely done. You're doing better than me.

Applesauce, toast. And those are like the most gentle things on your stomach. I've never used any but bananas to be gentle on my stomach. But there's something about how waxy they are I think that helps. So maybe eat like seven or eight bananas tonight. I'm going to go to sleep again after this. I have slept an enormous amount the last day. Like I've just basically been in bed.

Like I wake up, I roll over, I drink Gatorade, I go back to sleep. I wake up, I shit, I drink Gatorade, I go back to sleep. And I just repeat that until I'm so sweaty I need to change my clothes. Woody and I were worried about you in our in our group chat or maybe yeah like i texted at like 9 p.m last night like hey you feeling any better buddy like how are you doing and then like 12 13 hours later what he's like hopefully he's just sleeping i hope he's all right and then like five hours after that like three hours before the show i'm like kyle you you good champ like i hope he didn't vomit himself to death yeah because he wrote like i feel like i'm gonna die and then lost contact for 15 hours yeah i just like like i had so much

shit on my phone like everybody's messaging me like like you okay how you feeling you feeling better you need me to bring you some soup and i'm just like no just leave me alone i don't want any soup i want to be i want to be sick i i wasn't sure if i could eat that bagel that i ate today i was like maybe i can eat it that's what i had for like breakfast but by then it was like lunchtime i had one bagel and i ordered fruit like like like i don't know slices of like cantaloupe, pineapple and grapes and stuff. But I didn't, I, I couldn't eat the fruit. I was like, this is going to make me sick if I eat this fruit. What kind of bagel did you get? I, I honestly, I got a ton of bagels. I got, I got half a dozen bagels and I, uh, I, cause I didn't know what kind I wanted. I didn't know, like, like when it got there, I was like, maybe, um, like, like a cinnamon

bagel is going to be weird or maybe a blueberry bagel is going to be weird. But I got one of everything. I got six different kinds of bagels, and I think I ended up eating the blueberry bagel. That's a good bagel type. I got a big bag of bagels in there now, so I'll probably have another bagel tomorrow. Did you get an everything bagel? I like those. I did. I got an everything

bagel, and I got some sort of onion and chive spread to put on it in case I want it, but that seemed like it was definitely going to make me sick it's you know you can buy everything bagel seasoning at the store which is really just like onion salt and garlic powder or whatever the fuck is in there and if you like sprinkle that on the toppings of your sandwich before you put the other piece of bread down it's a great addition It's revolutionizing the way I overdo sodium. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I would like that.

I don't really like all the onion-y taste to it, but it was nice to get something in my stomach because it had just been so long. You don't like onions on your sandwiches? No. What do you put on a turkey and cheese sandwich, if that's even what you go to maybe you're a ham guy uh tomato and lettuce and uh pickles maybe jalapenos that's solid i like that i will not to shit on chick-fil-a but their pickles they could be a bit girthier and they

could be a bit more flavorful they They are weak and they don't crunch. The first bite with the pickle pulls the whole pickle out with it. And now you have one bite with pickle. There's nothing good about Chick-fil-A pickles. They taste like I don't even know what that pickle is. It's not a sweet one. It's not like garlic pickle. It's just some.

It's a dill pickle. It's a pickle substitute of some sort. I'm not sure there were any cucumbers killed in the making of that pickle. I mean, you have to admit, Kyle, like when you go to a nice restaurant and they have the nice thick pickles on your burger, that's a totally different crunch and experience. Then I tell them not to put them on there. I hate those bread and butter pickles. I hate any kind of pickle other than dill pickles. A thick dill would be better. A long sliced thick dill in an X shape on the,

you know what I mean? The long vertically sliced two of those on the Chick-fil-A sandwich instead of the two little bullshit ones. And they've, they've gained a whole new market of meat. Not for me. Now I might go there even more. I really do like the little pickles that have been like,

the pickle juice is soaked into the bread a little bit. Like, I don't know. I really like the Chick-fil-A sandwiches. They're fucking delicious. There's a reason that they're like so incredibly popular and profitable, despite the fact they're open six days a week. And the service there is impeccable. Like I went to a Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago when i was doing that motorcycle course we stopped for lunch

and there was a chick-fil-a nearby and like the line was outrageous and it was two cars wide but they had like really pretty blonde chicks outside with ipads to take your order so like how do they do that like what better yet why can't anyone else do that? Relating Christians, right? When you go to like McDonald's, there's some like, I don't know. I'm trying to describe it. Some dude who looks like he doesn't hold down jobs for very long, angry that you're disturbing him while he takes your order what you won't what kind of person do you mean it's not about that right but but you go to chick-fil-a and like there's some guy named noah with an ipad taking your order gleefully

that is beyond fucking that is the perfect description of A guy named Noah. That is beyond fucking... That is the perfect description of a chick play. A guy named Noah pleasantly taking your order with an iPad and then asking to refresh your drink. And he tells you to have a nice day and you can tell he fucking meant it. Meanwhile,

at McDonald's, some guy with disgusting fingernails is dropping your tattoos up and down his or her arms just like yeah it's a whole different thing it is chick fil a wins for a reason they're the most popular fast food chain in america for a reason i i question that mcdonald's isn't the most popular fast food chain. I don't think it was by location. I think it was like polls of like, what fast food chain do you prefer the most? And I think that's where they won.

Because definitely by location, if you go by location, Subway blows everyone out, I think. Like there's a Subway every 60 feet, almost everywhere. So I looked it up. McDonald's is one. Starbucks is two.

Chick-fil-A is three. I didn't expect it to be that high. Taco Bell, Wendy's, Burger King. And I'm looking for Subway because I thought they'd be high too. Yeah, they have a ton of locations. They're really popular. Maybe they're not on this list. So are they not fast food?

Are they something different? I'm not sure. I think I've been to one or two Starbucks in my whole life. I didn't even know they made whole meals at Starbucks. They do. They do. I got food poisoning from there once as well. I ordered some sort of a,

like a, like a, like an egg and cheese, like sandwich breakfast sandwich they made. And then I got very sick from it. Oh, Subway's eight. I didn't look carefully.

Well, damn it. Woody. from it. Oh, Subway's eighth. I didn't look carefully. Well, damn it, Woody. Wendy's is fifth. Well, this is a wrong list. I'd rather go to... I was about to say I'd rather go to Subway than Wendy's. No, I'd rather go to Wendy's than Subway. When I go to Subway, I can convince myself. I can lie to myself that I've had a healthy meal.

Yeah, it's like just because it's a loaf of bread doesn't mean that i'd like uh you know some meat on a loaf of bread but throw some lettuce and tomato in there so i can lie to me no no more cheese than that come on i have i've done of course i want three kinds of mayonnaise honey mustard if i know you're gonna offer honey mustard i wouldn't have said yes to all those little bottles you have that bottle of oil that you could just douse over everything i always ask for a liberal application of the oil and vinegar i have them screw the top

off and dunk the sandwich in like it's always you i remember times like many years ago when i was like trying to lose weight and i'd go to subway and be like oh the italian cheesy bread i'll have that one and then you like look at it and you're like i'm already so in the red uh salami triple it like the amount you put think about a silly amount and then double that. I want you to have to reach deep into that plastic little, you know, cut out thing you do. If I order something from there, I usually get like a six inch turkey and I'll just get like veggies on there and I'll put mustard and that's about it. I get a bunch of the jalapenos. The six inch is the key.

Yeah, for sure. It's half the calories, roughly. And the second six inches is almost like a battle to get through. You know, you get six inches in and you got to get six inches more. You're not even hungry. But coach, put me back in. I can finish this sandwich. Yeah, I understand. is more it's a you're not even hungry but coach put me back in i can finish the sandwich yeah it's actually the second foot long that's the problem after that italian extra meat blend i'm

just like oh i couldn't possibly i guess i paid for it you know that's the only really good sandwich there is the the spicy italian i like look i think it's it's pretty low quality meat that's the real problem but um like i wouldn't get tuna from there because that's always gross i do like the meatball sub although i haven't had it in 10 years so maybe it's not even good anymore but as a kid that's what i would get i'd get a meatball sub i had 10 years ago too and also liked it i mean like It's hard to imagine not liking a meatball sub. It's red sauce, meatballs, and cheese. It makes the bread better.

The bread can be a little dry. Yeah, but suddenly the bread turns into meatballs too. This has all become so good. As a kid, I would also get the pizza sub, which is basically just pepperoni and cheese melted onto a fucking... I think maybe there's mozzarella sauce. Maybe there isn't, but as a kid i would also get the pizza sub which is basically just pepperoni and uh and cheese melted onto a fucking and i think maybe there's mozzarella sauce or maybe there isn't but as a kid i loved it dude who came up with the fucking like cheese sticks at the dominoes and caesars and stuff but i have ordered it thinking like oh yeah i'll get pizza and cheese sticks

right because i like cheese sticks and And then they give you the pizza dough with pizza cheese on it that you dip in pizza sauce. I'm like, wait a minute. This is just an unassembled pizza. You tricked me. Now I'm doing your job for you. I've always preferred Pizza Hut's breadsticks to their pizza.

Whatever that shit they sprinkle on them, that seasoning stuff, is so fucking good. I think it's just like Parmesan and garlic salt. breadsticks to their pizza like like whatever that shit they sprinkle on them that like seasoning stuff is so fucking good i think it's just like parmesan and garlic salt it's something like that yeah it's really i could i want to just like lick an entire order of them clean just just just lick all the seasoning off the breadsticks and then put it in somebody else's tray i haven't asked in a long time kyle because i know you like cooking a lot have you made any new dishes recently that have been like knockouts no no not really like if i cook it's usually like steak or chicken something like that but nothing crazy just oh i i did um instead of uh instead of rice i've been using potatoes um so i i did this thing where that was like, like ground beef and jalapenos and onions with,

with potatoes and made like a big stir fry type bowl out of it. And that was pretty fucking good. And I put a bunch of salsa in there too. That sounds good. Spicy salsa. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like pretty, pretty spicy, like chunky salsa.

Just to add kind of a tomato-y sauce to the whole thing. That was pretty fucking good. But I haven't made anything fancy in a long time. Just stay busy so much. When I discovered that like spicy salsa was the perfect side to everything you eat in like a traditional breakfast, it was such a great day. Where I was like, wait, I could just dump this on my eggs. I can like dip my sausage in it.

I can dip my toast in it like it makes it doesn't have many calories either no almost nine but it's salty yeah yeah i mostly like for breakfast i usually do um like grits with uh with over i think over easy eggs i don't know i don't know it's i do like sunny side at sunny sunny side up eggs and then i flip them to just sort of cook the yolk a little bit and then i just toss those on top of grits so you do like sunny side up eggs and then I flip them to just sort of cook the yolk a little bit. And then I just toss those on top of grits. So you do like over medium? Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

It's runny yolks though because I want to like mix it into the grits. And then I douse everything with Tabasco. I got into the habit of eating pickles. Pickles, again again very low calorie you know i don't know for some reason i thought pickles were sinful because they taste good that's usually a good you know a good indicator it turns out they're cucumbers with like salt on them so i was just downing pickles killing them and uh i think that led to that high blood pressure thing a few weeks ago because i we don't have a jar.

It's fresh. So there's like this little Tupperware thing. I'd eat like two-thirds of it. And then be like, well, I'm not going to leave like one-third of one behind. That'd be rude. It's not a serving. So I would eat like a jar of pickles, which again is not a lot of calories. It's probably like 40 calories or something.

It's not extreme. And yeah, I've cut back on the pickles to cut back on the salt. But you also would be like guzzling the pickle juice too. Yes, but not with this stuff. That's bread and butter juice you want to guzzle, not the garlic pickle.

I don't think you want to guzzle any of the juice. Oh, nay nay. Well, you may want to guzzle it. Yeah, no, it's delicious. It's wonderful and probably good for you. The only time I've drank pickle juice was when someone gave me a pickleback shot, which is like Jameson with pickle juice in it. And like everybody always says that nonsense of like, oh, this drink, you can't even tell there's alcohol in it. And then you take one drink and it's like,

I can tell. And this one, you genuinely cannot. The pickle juice bends over the alcohol flavor and fucks it in the ass. And it's like, you can't overpower me, bitch. This is what I should do next drinking episode.

Is it hard to make? No, you just mix a half shot of jameson with a little bit of pickle juice and then like i guess like mix it around a bit and then the pickle jameson whiskey yeah it's irish whiskey and say a half a jar jameson did you say does it come in a jar like like in a shot like half a shot of jameson half a shot of pickle juice and so every shot is half a shot basically Jameson, half a shot of pickle juice. So every shot is half a shot.

Basically. So you'll have to do more. I don't know the actual mix. Actually, that's probably too much pickle juice. That's too much of a, you need to give the alcohol a fighting chance. When Jeremy ordered those pickle shots at that fancy restaurant that time, he asked, the waiter was like, what? And he was like, it's a shot of pickle juice and a shot of tequila.

And he wanted a shot of each. And so that's what he was drinking. So just to interrupt, Jameson's whiskey though, right? I know because it competes with proper 12. Yeah. Okay, but he was tequila. The alcohol flavor will get dominated

Jeremy's a bit of a connoisseur I think I would lean toward him on this one Okay Not at all Jeremy's Kyle's cousin for people that don't know He is absolutely not Kyle's cousin He might be Kyle's cousin

I've heard on Good Authority He's more likely to be Wing's cousin than he is mine His last name Jordan? I've heard on good authority from Woody just now. He's more likely to be Wing's cousin than he is mine. Is his last name Jordan? I just said that because people think it and Kyle hates it. I'm pretty sure Wing's related to Michael Jordan. That's a good line.

One generation. On the black side Wings is so close to being too stupid to be able to make fun of that it's I mean it's this close do you think he's that dumb? I think that if he were tested

he could get some sort of government funding I think that they would find him to be a mentally incompetent individual I genuinely believe him to be a mentally incompetent individual. I genuinely believe him to be somewhere near the level of mental retardation.

I would guesstimate his IQ to be in the high 80s, maybe the low 80s. He is so close to being able to get government assistance. The low 80s is pretty fucking stupid. Sure is. Sure is. I don't see it that way

I don't think the army lets anyone in I don't think Winx can get in the army But that's a different story That's probably more because of endurance Endurance Yeah Well phrased I don't know I don't think he's stupid I don't know I can't describe it he's not worldly

and that can sometimes influence the things he says and does that like shock people you know like like not you necessarily but a lot of people might say he's he was dumb for thinking that you needed a passport to go to Chicago but that that's not what dumb is, right? He's just not worldly. It's ignorance. It's just misinformed. There's definitely a big difference between ignorance and stupidity. And I just think that he's this perfect storm of stupidity and ignorance that you don't often see.

And I think that some of it is a learning disability. And I think that some of it is a learning disability. I would guess that he was in some special education classes and that he wasn't properly diagnosed as a young man. I wonder how he did do in school. You'll never know. I don't know. He could get his transcripts probably. Yeah. And now I'm thinking back.

My grades were so bad. why was i never put in any special education classes i'm the only one of us that got plugged into a special ed class when i was in kindergarten i love that story did you like wipe the floor with everyone and get candy i pretended to know how to read but i would just memorize the book and so we were reading a book about like jack's red bike but i was repeating like suzy's trampoline and the teacher realized that i hadn't learned to read at all and i remember even being like five in kindergarten and being like i've got everyone fooled just got to keep going this plan will work through college and uh and it didn't and she realized i couldn't read and she put me in the special needs class with two other kids both of them were they they belonged there they couldn't read it all and i

would just clean up on the candy speed round of pronunciation and spelling at the end until like you know every single starburst was mine and she put me back in the regular class and that was that sucked because i remember going back to the regular class and they made you read and there was no candy at all i was like this i want to be retarded again i pictured taylor at night cuddling up with the stormlight archive good job another paragraph nailed it if i do say so myself even as a young kid like once i learned how to read i was like this is awesome i can like how to read i was like this is awesome i can like i know everything my parents do because i i they look at a tv show and there's stuff on the screen and now i can look at that tv show sitting next to them and i'll know what's on screen and so i started reading a lot like as a young kid because

it was interesting and because my parents had like you know stringent rules about when you could play video games and when you could watch tv it was like a limited amount of time and they would not fuck around with it one of like i when my mom passed away we went to her house and pulled all these old memory books and things and all the albums in these big giant tubs and i found a journal of mine from when I was like nine years old. And I remember I opened to a couple of pages and I read one and it was like, today sucked. My mom caught me playing video games at five 30 and she thought I started at four 30, but I really started at like five 10.

And so I only got 20 minutes of video games, so much for an hour, mom. Like writing mean things in there. Like it was, I'll have to find that journal of my like eight and nine year old mind just being erratic. I pulled a fast one on Colin. So as people know, I'm watching Walking Dead with Colin.

What they might not know is just how seriously he takes The Walking Dead. Colin's autistic and can just be uncompromising and focused on weird shit sometimes. And The Walking Dead is it right now. So before the first episode played, he's like, no closed captions. And I was like, Colin, that's a deal breaker for me. He wants to watch every episode the whole way through. And you can't talk. You can't look away. You can't pull your phone out.

You can't do anything. He pays strict attention and he makes sure that you do too. There is no division of your attention. And before the episode started, I was like, I got to have the closed captions on. Dad's hearing isn't very good. And I don't pick up all the words, which is only like 10% true. I really wanted him to have to read along. So now he does.

I have him reading the entire script from Game of Thrones. He hyper focuses on every word. And we've learned all the characters names because there's a lot of times that like when a new character is introduced or they're off screen saying something it'll say their name colon in the line and uh you know he quizzes me what was that name like jadis and and we go on but yeah so oh poo counter nicely done but anyway i bamboozled colin into reading walking dead it's my move that was a that was a smart move you can't even realize you're reading i gotcha i gotcha yeah that that is the best way to to get someone to read who doesn't want to is just make it something they're hyper interested in and then that's how i read

lord of the rings is i was so interested in it that i didn't want to wait until the next movies and so at like 12 i like i watched the first one i was like mom dad can i please go buy lord of the rings it's like a 2 000 page book series and they're like really yeah you can absolutely buy a bunch of books tay Oh, they didn't even try to work you? No. They're like, all right. Maybe if you rake the leaves, we can get to it. Yeah. I still remember because my thing before getting into Lord of the Rings is I had a VHS set of the NHL goalies of the 90s. And so I would watch Martin Brodeur, Patrick Waugh highlights, Mike Richter, Van Beesbrook, all of these 90s goalies. Ron Hextall.

Hextall, not the 90s, but still. All right, Garth Snow, I don't know. I don't think Hextall bled into the 90s at all, did he? He was 70s, late 70s, early 80s. They talked about him in high school. I don't know. No, I don't think he was that old. I think you're going too far.

He might be. When it's like before your time, it's funny how things are like, was he in the 80s or maybe the 40s? He played until 1999. Oh, fuck. Okay, well, then he's been around a long time. He was not in the VHS series that I was watching. No, it focused a lot on Mike Richter.

Well, it wasn't about fighting then. Yeah, Mike Richter and then who the fuck? Eddie Belfort. Eddie Belfort. I remember he was the goalie forer and then who the fuck? Eddie Belfort. Eddie Belfort. I remember he was the goalie for the Dallas Stars, and I loved Eddie Belfort and Martin Brodeur. And so like, and I don't know, you may have been like this when you were playing sports.

I know you didn't play hockey when you were young, but like I would love pretending to be like whoever my idol was at the time. And so I remember when I got into goalie, I wanted to be like the best stick handling goalie in the league because that's what Martin Brodeur did. And Martin Brodeur was the fucking best goalie of all time. I still stand by that. He's the only goalie where they had to make rules to circumvent his ability

to totally change the game of hockey. It's crazy how I've played goalie and i know how difficult it is to stick handle in that year but until i tried it i was like why do all goalies suck so much everyone in my c league north carolinian hockey team can handle the puck as well as martin rodor yeah or b league at least dude i was i was like the only 12 13 year old goalie in the league i was playing in that if the other team pulled an empty net i'd be like give me the puck i want to score i want to score and i would try and and i wasn't strong enough to like shoot normally at the time and so i'd have to put my hand lower on the paddle and push that way and try and launch it because i was

a kid and i could shoot at the length of the ice. I just couldn't get on the fucking net. But yeah, I remember because I watched like the highlights of Brodeur scoring goals. And that was Hextall. I think Hextall may have been the first or second goalie to score. I want to say he scored like twice in a week. Yeah, he I think he's the first goalie to score in the playoffs. That's what he scored. And they gave him like a Cadillac for scoring.

And then he scored a few days later. And it's like, all right, this is getting expensive. What do you want a second Cadillac? Hextall rule. He was mean as shit. And that's what I liked him. Is he still the GM? He's not the GM of Philly anymore.

He was for a bit, I think. I don't think he is, but I'm looking it up. Yeah, I don't believe so. But it is funny how it's like so nepotistic in all these leagues where it'll be like, oh, George Peros, the guy who like paralyzed people and beat the shit out of them. Nah, make him the head of player safety. He knows better than anyone what really makes people unsafe

were you talking about shanahan there or no i'm talking about george peros oh right there shanahan was awesome in that job he was what was the vp of player safety something like that uh no hextall's not gm anymore i guess he just was for four years. I don't know. I scanned it. I mean, Philly's a tough town to be a GM in. It's a tough town to be anything in, which is why I like it. I like the guys that thrive there, the guys that got popular there. Brindamore, they always loved. If you go out and bust your ass every day, even if you're not the most talented guy, Philly loves that.

Unless you're a goalie. And then they will throw batteries at you. You could have three shutouts in a row as a goalie in Philly. And then you let like one easy one in the next game. And they'll be like, this guy fucking is the word. We should kill him in the parking lot. I'll teach him.

You got to stop the only team that like, oh, all the fans are throwing stuff on the ice. A lot of it directed at their own tender. But you like that about Philly sports fans. They're intense. Yeah. I've told this so many times, but when I came here

and people wore the jersey of the opposing team and like no one hit them or bullied them or anything i was like what is like i didn't like do i have to do this all by myself i didn't do anything but it was weird to me that nobody was like bullying people who rooted for the other team like that yeah the fuck you can't just do that i feel like that's maybe all these guys yeah i feel like that's maybe a football these guys i feel like that's like a football and a hockey thing like kyle you're the baseball guy just do fights happen at baseball games between fans ever i feel like i've never heard of that

oh no not really i mean i mean some shenanigans will go down it it's it seems to me that when things really get out of hand at baseball games games is when there's fan interference with the game, and that is super frowned upon. So it could be a couple different things. A while back, it might have been Yankees-Red Sox. I don't remember exactly. Maybe not. I know it was in New York, but a New York fan.

I want to say the left fielder for the Sox had thrown his warm-up ball into the crowd. Like, hey, have a ball. Everybody's got a ball. They're all lobbing it around, warming up for the game. And a Yankee fan had caught it, a young guy, like maybe 16, 18. And they were giving him a hard time because he wasn't throwing it back. Throw it back.

Throw it back. Well, he decides't throwing it back throw it back throw it back well he decides to throw it back and whether he meant to or not he hit the left fielder in the back with it in the middle of the game and uh it it caused a whole meltdown where they're just like the security's up there and the crowd's going fucking ate shit um that guy's banned from every major league ballpark in the country now did that guy did the guy he hit get hurt no he's a professional athlete he got hit in the back with a baseball thrown by a kid but you still don't want to be dealing with that if you're a fucking professional

athlete playing a game you get hit in the back in the back with a baseball you're like what the fuck he was super pissed uh the player was um and then obviously if someone's like down the left field line and they, the balls, they grab a foul ball that could have been caught by a fielder and it causes the inning to be extended. That is a big no-no. You will get booed out of, they'll have, you'll have to leave. You'll end up having to leave the ballpark. Have you, you've heard the story about the steve bartman incident in chicago yeah yeah that's a perfect example of that down the left field line he uh he caught the ball um ball could have been fielded uh the the inning went on for another uh bat or two and they lost the game yeah they lost and i think he had to go into witness protection. Yeah, it was a big fucking deal.

The Cubs were having a good year. I want to say it was a playoff game. I don't think he was in Philly. He wouldn't have survived the exit of the stadium. Navy SEALs would be trying to exfil that motherfucker. Apparently, he was being assaulted as he was trying to leave the Chicago Cubs stadium. And Oh,

security had to finish escorting him from the park. Minutes after the game, this is 2003 minutes after the game, his name and personal information were published online, necessitating police protection of his home. He was scapegoated for the continuation of the team's then 95 year championship. He was scapegoated for the continuation of the team's then 95-year championship draw. Martin apologized for the incident and stated his desire to move past it and return to a quiet life.

Cubs players came to his defense, emphasizing that their performance was to blame for the loss and not him catching the ball. ESPN did a 30-for-30 in 2011 called Catching Hell about him. We should get him on the podcast. We should. He does not want this to be. He wants this to be hot. No, it's hot now because the Cubs won in 2016. I watched that game.

I don't remember the finer details, but I want to say that that ball was very easily fieldable and that it either that either that gets them out of the inning when they're in a tough spot or um or it at least gets them past that batter who was a good batter it was one of the other but it was it was kind of crucial that that not happen there's the photo for you and saying it's easily feel the ball like bartman clearly like took the ball from the guy like the guy was easily able to catch it and he caught it instead yeah but i mean like you got to feel bad for him his impulse is like oh my god the ball is finally coming in this direction i'm i brought him. I'm going to catch it. He's not thinking about the ramifications

in the game. Should have been. Look at everybody else leaning back. Yeah, everybody else like, don't fucking touch it! Look at that guy to the right wearing the black hoodie or whatever with both of his hands like this. Or the guy in the red next to him. Are we showing it?

Yeah, you have to zoom in. They're leaning back and and like some people are just like what the fuck you can see yeah you're right you can see that right behind him going oh oh yeah he's the only guy wanting to catch that everyone else like that's one of the impressive things about baseball. So I'm not a baseball player, but while the pitcher is throwing the ball, everyone knows what to do. If like, regardless, wherever this ball goes, they're all on the same page. It's obvious to them. If this thing goes here, this is how we're going to handle it. If this guy catches it in the air, if this guy catches

it off the ground, they all have a plan for these different contingencies. When I play baseball, it's like, all right, I got it. So if I throw it to the pitcher, they had to stop running, right? That's not how it really goes. That is a T-ball rule though. Oh. Why would there be a pitcher in T-ball? That's kind of the pitcher's main job, stop the runners from advancing. Once he catches it, they have to stop at the next base main job. Stop the runners from advancing. Once he catches it,

they have to stop at the next base. They approach. Oh, okay. The pitcher is one of the best catchers on the team. That makes sense. Okay. I didn't play a lot of T-ball.

And by that, I mean that the pitcher can catch a ball. Yeah, exactly. The rest of us pick it up off the ground. What position were you in baseball? When you, uh,

first base or pitching, something like that. Uh, shortstop a little bit. Moved around. Those are all the athletic positions. First base, not so much. First base is a hitter oftentimes, right?

First base is usually a slower guy. Really? You don't have to move a lot. You know, you usually hit a lot. That's kind of your main thing. You don't have a lot of territory to cover. Short stop is a pretty athletic position. You've got a little bit of moving around to do between second and third. There could be some real hot balls hit to you there.

I guess the pitcher and the first. I never thought about it, but the pitcher doesn't have to run much either. Not often. Unless somebody pops a bunt down in front of him. I mean, he often has to cover a base, right? Like sometimes the pitcher has to run over and cover bases, cover first, or he has to run home to help cover home. If he throws a wild pitch, catcher's got to run back to get it.

Pitcher's got to run to home. Again, that's one of like the 78 scenarios that he's prepared for prior to the pitch first base don't you want someone like really tall on first base am i misremembering that so they can like never miss a ball they got reach they got i mean but i feel like you're thinking about the younger like in the pros i'm answering the question kyle should but in the younger, like in the pros. I'm answering the question Kyle should. But in the major leagues, like how do you play first base? Swing the bat. Like that's their role on the team.

Yeah, it's not a – you're not making a lot of crazy plays at first. You're either – if it gets hit right at you, you're making the play. Everything else is kind of going to second base. And your main job is usually just to cover first, get over there, catch the ball, make good catches, and be a good hitter. First basemen are often very good hitters. They're the big, stronger guys who aren't that fast. They're usually a little more heavy set because they can't really get around

that well. Or as well, shortstop is often like some puerto rican guy who can just fucking move is i think that uh mark mcguire was a first baseman right don't know does that sound right it's a big goliath guy with i'm mostly just no brave stuff like it's part he was a first baseman he was okay thank you zach, Zach. That was the only time I gave a shit about baseball in my entire life was when he was battling Sammy Sosa in like, what, 99s? I'm like nine years old watching it. It was so cool. Every single day, there'd be a new paper at the Post-Dispatch like, 70, 71. It was interesting to me.

So I like the financial aspect of it and like so mark mcguire would hit a ball out somebody would catch it and by the way it got to be like an industry catching it you know people would go they'd pay a lot for these tickets and places that they were likely to land uh i don't know what park it is you can hit it over the top and it lands in the water but they'd set up there and it was a big deal you catch Mark McGuire yet it's like 68 home run that ball's worth like three million dollars but if he hits a 69th now it's like a hundred grand like it's become you know not as much so you want to catch his last home run but who knows when the last one

is and that was an interesting little aspect of how do they verify that though you know like like like how do they verify that this is a ball that mark mcguire hit it's going to be absolutely destroyed it's flat on one side um well i i assume it'd be like kind of known that day and then you just follow the balls like lineage right like like the day that i catch it everyone knows i caught it i've held it up in the air on camera woody got the ball oh but how do they know i didn't switch it i guess is a question zach says they're serialized x on it or sign you sign it to show it you sign the ball that way everyone knows you caught it.

Because they're there. They're like, this is the ball Woody caught. That's why that ball is a big deal. I've said it before, but also when I was young, watching the Mark McGuire versus Sammy Sosa hit off, they have Big Mac land at Bush Stadium, where if anyone hit a homer into Big Mac land, everyone got a free Big mac the next day and i remember

thinking that mark mcguire himself was integral to the creation of the mcdonald's big mac i was nine and so i was like that's crazy that were you in special needs classes i had never bought a big mac and so i thought that it was like wow they named this whole sandwich after mark mcguire he probably helped them pick out what to put on it probably did yeah he invented the special sauce he invented the thousand island ripoff that we put on all these yeah it made it made sense at the time have you watched any of that scp foundation stuff that i told you about not yet no i highly recommend it so the uh it's um it's some it basically the scp foundation it's this like stuff they in this it comes from the internet. And basically it's like crowdsourced horror stories

surrounding the ideas the SCP Foundation is this organization that since like the early 1900s has been working to capture and control like monsters and ghouls and goblins around the world and keep them, not only people safe from them but the knowledge of them hidden and it's everything from like bigfoot to like the loch ness monster and like enormous like uh sea creatures that are thousands of kilometers long to um i think one of them was literally like a like a giant care bear that hugged people to death. But also like, like all sorts of like gods and aliens.

And, and there are these really interesting stories for each one of them. And it's re some of them are really long and intricate and complex. And I think that someone told me that there's a website where you can go and you can you can write a new one and you can you can you can be like hey here's my new uh this is scp 3774 it's uh it's the taylor monster he bites people's heads off and like if your story is good enough like they'll add it to like the the canon um but there i've been watching it on youtube where like this youtube channel has like

animated tons and tons of them yeah so i just like when i'm trying to like go to sleep in my like stupor of sickness i've got these playing and i'm having like the most fucked up dreams some of them are like just kind of like normal monster stories but some of them are really dark some are really dark and fucked up um i don't know i've listened to probably i've probably listened to like 60 70 of them at least at this point and uh some of them would make really good movies like like one of them was about this like lake of blood that just create that monsters kept coming out of and so eventually they took a submersible down into the lake of blood to see what was down there and after a while they stopped going down and started going up again and they

realized that like gravity had inverted and now they were rising instead of falling and when they get to the surface they're on another dimension on another planet and they like explore the other planet for like days at a time um and it's a it gets like super wacky and wild yeah i thought that one was interesting that was one of my favorite ones what was the if you were to recommend one what was one that stood out to you the shit um i don't know let's see must be hard if you're listening to them while you're sleeping just i'm on their channel right now. They,

there's a ton of these. Most of them are on like 15 minutes or so. It looks like. Yeah. Most of them are, there are some really long ones. They're like an hour long that like explore the whole foundation and the history of the foundation and the stuff they've done.

Oh, the Scarlet King is one of the, like the bigger ones. The Scarlet King is like this demon god that has a whole cult behind it so that one's pretty wild um the uh i don't know there's one for like everything the one about the bigfoot uh was pretty interesting because it was like a complete twist on what you would think it would be apparently like we used to live side by side with the sasquatches and they were more technologically advanced than us and we had like

a war with them and that's a cool twist i like that yeah we had like a war with them and and like uh like like killed them all and uh took their technology for our own and now they like live in the shadows um forever hating and uh there's a part at the end where like um the last time we they spoke to the sasquatches they had a message and it said we forgive you and we want to come home and it was like oh that's kind of up there's a bunch of them. It's every, like I said, it's everything from like, because it's just written by people, like some of them will be like a hat that just, that just kills people like a demonic hat.

Or one of them was like a door to door salesman, but he doesn't knock on your exterior door. He starts knocking up from one of your interior doors. And when you open the interior door, he starts trying to sell you something ridiculous. And if you agree, and it's like one of those devil's bargains where like you never know like what he's actually offering to sell you and what he's actually telling you it costs so like he might like um he might take your heart and your entire circulatory system

when when what he said was he just needed a little uh he just needed a little um heart or i can't remember what it was but like he phrases things in a confusing way and like like he might just uh he might kill you as as payment or he might just like oh i i one of them was um he they wanted um the person's soul in exchange for something but they just took their soul record collection instead because he thought that was funny like it's just bizarre they're always very bizarre and weird because it's fucking like that internet who write these things like that it's i've been really into it uh for like the last week i guess i've been i've been watching and listening to them uh some horror content so this this is good stuff i need to watch some i i just subscribed to their channel

some of them are actually pretty dark it's uh it's the scp explained channel is the is the main one i've been watching but then there's another channel called the exploring series that that features scp content as well and what does it stand for scp oh shit scary what is this i don't know i just went to their channel to try and is this? I don't know. I just went to their channel to try and find out, and I don't know what SCP stands for. Secure, Contain, and Protect. Secure, Contain, Protect.

Okay. Makes kind of a little sense. Yeah. So they're like, I don't know. There's a lot of them, and most of them are pretty interesting. I didn't realize. There's a lot of them. And they're all there. Most of them are pretty interesting. Like, like I didn't realize it was like crowdsourced until I was like halfway through my, my journey watching these things.

You know, who's having an even worse day than you right now, Kyle, who's that is Tom Wilson of the Washington capitals, who is a very dirty, aggressive player who makes dirty hits constantly, gets suspended all the time, and he plays for the Washington Capitals.

New York Rangers, one of their big rivals. The Rangers just signed Ryan Reeves, the best fighter in the history of the NHL, for the specific purpose to put him on the ice when Tom Wilson is out there and beat the shit out of him. And this is one of those rivalries where Tom Wilson throws dirty hits, all that. He'll fight other people.

When Ryan Reeves is on the ice, suddenly Tom Wilson, he must have to pee or something. My goodness, he's going to the bench so quickly. It's all the time where Reeves goes out there and is like, You leaving, Tom? You leaving? Where are you going, Tom? And so that is so awesome this fucking piece of shit tom wilson who i hope falls down an escalator is it's worse than normal stairs i picture him keep falling and falling i hope tom wilson falls down the fastest moving escalator on earth never never reaches the end fuck that guy piece of shit i can't wait oh i'm gonna watch rangers versus capitals games this year just to see ryan reeves punk this little

bitch out it's gonna be great it's gonna be gonna go like you hope or is he just gonna leave the like didn't he get into a fight with the capitals last year do something dirty and then when they were about to get their comeuppance he just like punked out or was he hurt or something like he didn't he is wanting to do that yeah he'll he's more than happy to take a run at the star player for another team and then he runs and hides behind ovechkin and his coaches every time he's a baby back bitch wait how does he hide ovechkin protects him i mean i'm just picking another player okay well i mean if you stand behind Ovechkin, Reeves isn't going to do as much

because everyone has the utmost respect for Ovechkin. You're not going to fucking punch him unless he agrees to square up. But this is great news. Fuck Tom Wilson. I can't wait to see. Hopefully, Ryan Reeves put him in the hospital a few times this year. I hope it starts in the preseason. That would be, oh, Tom Wilson, notorious preseason bully.

He's injured multiple Blues players in preseasons to the point that now the Capitals will not play him in preseasons because he's too much of a simpleton retard to realize you don't run people in preseason. And so I hope they put him in the preseason against the Rangers and that Ryan Reeves puts him in a wheelchair. That would be awesome. Who won't play him in the preseason? The Capitals, you said? The Capitals no longer put Tom Wilson in on preseason games. So he won't get beat up in the preseason. Against the Blues.

Oh, okay. Because he's taken a run at so many of our smaller guys for no reason in preseason. He hurt two of our skill guys in the same preseason a couple years ago. So fuck him. Hate him. All right.

The poo counter is now at seven. I think it's time to call it a show. What do you think? Yeah, I'm glad we have a poo counter. Poo counter is seven poos in four hours. This poor man's ass. He is fibbing so hard. He is lying about his anal health i'm sure of it that

thing is his asshole is awful disgusting it's raw i believe it's clean but it must be in pain it must be all right pka 554