Painkiller Already - PKA 556 w/ Doug Polk: Crypto Scams, Depression Solutions, Poker Tells

Episode Date: August 14, 2021

pka 556 with our guest doug polk crypto genius poker genius and aspiring jersey cast member taylor yeah this episode of pka is brought to you by express vpn and smart mouth two wonderful sponsors we'll learn more about them later thank you so much for coming on again doug looking great thank you i've been i've been losing some pounds lately i'm actually at my lowest weight in quite some time i've been lifting a lot so it's still kind of fat but just not not really fat anymore so that's nice we're going healthy you're looking yeah you're getting some sun you were uh showing off the guns we started the show quickly because you we started talking about crypto and you were like this save the kids shit is nonsense and it's like what could that mean taylor had the killer joke i

also hate children and it was a pre-show it was lost jokes a pre-show but yeah can you delve into a little bit none of us are crypto experts so you might have to give us like some backfill of necessary information but yeah i'm i'm not really deep in the streets on this i think if people really want to know exactly what happened i'd recommend checking out the guy coffee zilla he does good in-depth videos talking about stuff just like this but the cliff notes here are it was a pump and dump scam where the currency was based around saving children and they use that as a scam and i want to say it was the phase clan guys that did this and oh that's bad that's the audacity the audacity to use saving children's lives as the front for a scam is truly fucking terrible i i don't know what else i don't know is there another way to say i

don't know that's brilliant it's the word you're looking for everyone likes kids i mean almost everyone i hate them but like you throw i was telling like um we were there was some lady who the other day who had had like a picture of like two or three like dirty little snot nose fucking kids and she was like i don't know how to like support these kids i don't know what i'm doing and she raised two hundred thousand dollars on kickstarter or something like that it turned out she was the nanny they weren't even her fucking kids like these kids are well taken care of she's just like she's just like ripping people off of these kids so i'm zach is gonna send his kids over to my house for a day i'm gonna rub them in dirt right get them all rough them up a little bit you know shake them till they cry whatever it takes and we're gonna get a little kick going. So you're saying kids are a scam is more or less what we're heading here.

Kids are great tools to be used in a scam. Okay, nice. So I've just read this thing that Zach linked about Save the Kids. And let's see. Influencers with millions of followers like Summer Rae, Ricegum, and members of the esports organization FaZe Clan excitedly backed the June 5th announcement of Save the Children, a new cryptocurrency. And they said that the crypto had a venture mission to

build a better world for the children and donate a small portion of the proceeds to charity. Now FaZe Clan, a successful e-sports organization and influence incubator has suspended four members involved with the coin and some online accusing the coin of being a scam. They hit a high of half a penny before plummeting 60 percent, as these things do. And that's about it. They said that they had no ill intent in promoting alt crypto coins and ditched five members of the phase clan i i guess i'm wrong on this whole pump and dump stuff because i thought everybody was in on it i thought nobody considered these things to be an actual long-term investment strategy this is these unknown like penny stocks yeah like come coin like and what were the coins were called cummies

and it was there more i think it's actually called jizz coin and i think it was called come rocket i think you're talking about come rocket not to get not to get not to get too technical here but i i guess i thought everyone knew come rocket for example was you know not a real investment vehicle i sunk everything into come on we're all just getting why do you think i'm on twitch now dude i'm still broke from my horrible you know uh calculations about cole's cash it's never gonna go ahead everything is true bucks but um anyway i thought everyone knew these things weren't worth anything. We were just all playing the game of timing the up and down, knowing that tomorrow was worthless.

Sorry, I thought you were about to finish. Can you describe what you mean to me, though, that these things are – we all knew that these things were pumping up what's the line in your opinion because it's easy to look at come rocket and say probably not where i should stick my 401k pretty easy it's pretty easy to say that sure but where are we going to draw the line because obviously things like bitcoin and ethereum are legitimate what about dog coins and now we're getting back into scammy terry right but which dog coin dogecoin that was actually fairly mined, and it was a real currency created. It was created as a meme, as a joke, but it's actually a real thing. Whereas some of the other dog coins, they're complete pieces of garbage that are scams more or less. So where are you drawing the line when you say these things? Which ones are

you talking about? It's a good point, right? And I guess in my head, I'm like the ones that aren't listed. when you go to coinbase for example there's a bunch of lists how many of the lists maybe 30 something like that uh maybe the other ones list the top 40 but when you start getting to off the list to the ones that no one's heard of and and i to your point i get that it's a blurry line when you shift from like bitcoin the gold standard to something else to dogecoin to uh comp rocket you know like where exactly like is dogecoin a joke i guess it was and now it's not and then is comrocket a joke who knows maybe it's the next non-joke and can a joke coin which is what dogecoin was a while back be legitimized by someone like an elon musk

so just to jump in and talk about that for a moment i think what's really important with these coins is the way that they're formed and with dogecoin the way that the currency was formed you had to mine it so you actually had to go out there and mine transactions to get dogecoin back it wasn't like dogecoin just dropped their money to a bunch of people, right? But with these newer scammy tokens, the owners just start off with the supply or some portion of the supply, or maybe they lock the supply in some kind of contract. But the point is Dogecoin was fairly mined.

So, I mean, I know it's a joke and stuff, but it's actually a real thing. I know it's a joke and stuff, but it's actually a real thing. I know it's a picture of a dog, but it's not like there was a Doge guy who got a bunch of money for free by being the Doge guy. That didn't happen. Whereas in a lot of these shitty coins, and I have no idea about Cummies, what we were talking about earlier. But I assume that these other coins are doing things like that, or they have some kind of transfer fee that goes back to the owner, or they do all kinds of sketchy things. And that's what makes them illegitimate,

not just the fact that they're named something absurd, but it's also the way that they're formed. How do the other ones work? I almost go the other way. Can I go? If PKA makes a coin and we say, hey, everyone, we're making a coin, and just to be clear this is a scam we are going to have half of the supply coming out of the door and you people will

fight for the remaining half and when we think it's at its peak we're getting out of this horrible investment vehicle and you should too it almost becomes not a scam anymore we've been pretty clear about the scam from the get-go if you want to try to time it good luck are you going to name it save the children though that's kind of the difference i'll save you save even more i mean real sweet kids coin and oh yeah look look if there's a way we get we can make a coin then i want no part of it legally speaking whatsoever just just so we're all clear on that. Don't involve me. I can't go back. I can't go back.

We'll find someone to be the CEO, some dunce to be the CEO and take the fall. It's so funny you mentioned that. We almost did that one time to my friend Jeremy. We were going to make a flamethrower company. We were going to manufacture and sell flamethrowers because you don't need any licensing whatsoever in the United States to possess or purchase a flamethrower. You just make those fucking things in your garage if you want they're not weapons technically and uh but we were like the liability involved is outrageous because

we don't know how to make flamethrowers i mean we kind of do like we'll put some tanks on a guy's back pressurize him full of gasoline and give him a pressure washer hose and that's a flamethrower right and i suppose and i was like we'll make my friend jeremy the owner ceo cfo like we'll put every acronym next to his name as as we can he's he's gonna do it all he's gonna even do the manufacturing as far as information officer he doesn't even have a computer he no and he wouldn't know he doesn't have a computer can't even use my possible and uh and he's also going to be the test dummy because somebody has to be the first one to test the flamethrower that we make you know strap it on their back light that bitch up and like go out in the yard and spray this bitch down and we ended up deciding to like we found another company that

made flamethrowers and we just worked out a sponsorship deal. That way I could make my like amount of money, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If, if someone's going to make a coin,

I don't want any part of it, but my limited liability company would like to be involved. So yeah, yes, you could pay me to promote your coin. That's the sort of thing. It's probably bad. Can you do that enough?

I don't know. I don't understand what's legal with finance. Because when you hear anyone anywhere, like on the radio or whatever, they'll be like, I'm buying Bitcoin and Ethereum. I think those are great investments. This is not financial advice. I'm like, why do they say that? Can you get in trouble? So you have some.

So there's a few different things kind of at play. The first is normally you're supposed to disclose your position and things. And it depends on, okay, so let me think about how to phrase this. Basically, who you are matters a lot. If you're some big entity that manages money, then you have a different set of responsibilities than if you're just an individual person in the US. As an individual, you can go online and pump your bags as a hundred percent legal. As long as you're not trying to pump something that is illegal. So I can't say, I can't go

online and say, guys, you know what the market's looking great for crack. I got some crack. Not, not cool. Right. But, but you can, you can go on online and show whatever you think is going to increase in value. You just have that right. But I think when you become an influencer, and I always hate that word, but when you become an influencer type person, I think that to avoid someone just hearing, oh, I'm going to go all in on this thing that they had said. PKA coin is the future of tech. I'm going to just put my whole role into this and then you guys dump on them and it's worth nothing uh then people tend to sue in spots like that and

i think it's just a protective measure for people to take to to not get owned that makes sense i i just feel like if it's shady enough it circles back around right like? Like, why? Let me explain this parallel, right? Tucker Carlson was sued by, I forget some woman, it's not important, for telling lies about her. And he argued successfully in court that no reasonable person

would believe what he's saying on his show. Therefore, you can't be damaged by me because I'm obviously talking shit all the time. And he won. We can do that. If we're full of shit enough. No, we can't now. It becomes legal.

Just be clear. There's obviously lines. Yeah. There's obviously lines. And again, we're talking about save the kids coin. We're not talking about come rocket. I keep saying that. Someone comes out and says, guys, we're talking about save the kids coin. We're not talking about Come Rocket. I keep saying that. Someone comes out and says, guys, we really need to save the kids.

We're launching a coin to help save children around the world. And you're thinking, we all know it's a scam. I don't think that's the effect. I would have. My first question would be, in what way does your coin save kids? Why don't you just have a place we send our money to, and then there's an organization that has unique ways of using it to, I don't know, provide clean water or food or shelter. See, now it's a project and not a grant.

I'm sure that was all outlined to some extent. Yikes. He said that a portion of the profits would go to save the kids. But you could just maybe give your money to kids instead of a portion of the profit a portion of pka coin will go to the kids quote unquote yeah and that portion is zero percent and those kids are mine when i start having children it's 100 true we all got a mind and woody's kids no i don't want to be a part of any kind of a fucking scam you know well what do you what do you guys think about this have you seen the the recent nft craze where people are

buying pictures essentially verifiable art on the blockchain and it's trading for real money have you guys been following this no i still don't understand that's i can't believe it shows how different our worlds are because this has been the number one thing i've been hearing about online for just months or at least weeks uh it's just every day all day my feed is just this you guys what's you guys just like what's that i haven't we haven't heard hearing about that at all you've heard about um um crypto punks is the biggest one no i've never heard of that have you got oh i'm gonna i'm about to blow you gotta be gonna blow our Oh, I'm about to blow your mind. You got to blow our minds here.

Do you want me to blow your mind, guys? Treat us like we're three retards. Pretend. Okay, so let me break this down for you. There are these things called CryptoPunks. They came out years ago. Do you know what an NFT is? Sure.

A non-fungible token is a unit of data stored on a digital ledger called a blockchain that certifies a digital asset to be unique and therefore not interchangeable. Why are your eyes pointing down? They can be used to represent items such as photos, videos, audio, or other types of digital files. Jesus, Woody's very important. Woody, maybe you should lead this conversation. Oh, no. No, man. No. Doug's funny. Yeah, so bring it down for us. should lead this conversation oh no no no doug's funny so basically these are um pieces of artwork their pictures essentially stored on the blockchain and you can verify that you own that picture obviously it does not come with real legal rights you can't

sue people for putting your picture as their profile or whatever let me show you this guy i'll put this in the chat this bad boy is i think the largest one that has been sold today it sold for uh i think eight million dollars what and what you get you get to have that picture yeah well i mean people could use it too if they want but you get to yeah there you go is this like a way to launder money i don't know why does everyone say that uh the answer is no but i but that that response is so common that it's because people are trained from like the art world where they're like oh they bought this bullshit for 10 million

and it's because it's that's the way they launder money through art so i i would argue that this picture 8 million was one of the best investments that anyone has made this year is a complete steal this person is going to make ungodly amounts of money i it was it was just an amazing amazing amazing play basically can you explain sure he's making money but that picture is ordinary someone re sure it's it will it's what it represents so okay can we let's just say this artwork is stupid just in general um so what gives what gives artwork meaning is what it represents and these these nfts are one of the first nfts and they're the most popular nfts and they came out a long time ago so it's not like

someone was trying to capitalize on a current trend and they've slowly gone up in value from being worth a hundred value from being worth a hundred dollars to being worth you know this was probably worth i don't know a hundred million whatever it is um they just slowly kind of got up in value over time organically and if you own one of these there's only ever going to be 10 000 of them and they all have different traits so some some have so there's aliens that's the one i showed you is an alien there's aliens there's apes there's zombies and then there's humans and basically the the one I showed you is an alien. There's aliens, there's apes, there's zombies, and then there's humans. And basically, the traits to sort of define the value,

and there's a marketplace and people trade them. There's 10,000 of these in existence. The cheapest one you can possibly buy is $145,000. And when do you get the money back from this investment? Like, I don't understand that transactional part where you're... I don't... It's like buying a house. You buy a house, you have the house, and you're thinking're thinking well when do i get my money back if you sell your

house you own but i can live in a house what do i do with that car it's not even cool what you're doing oh i'm buying something hopefully someone else wants it even more than you that someone else will pay more yeah i'm i think i'm the dumb one in the room but i have no idea what that cartoon does or what i would do with that card i think that there are a lot of people that think this is one of the coolest possible things you could own a cryptocurrency basically the one i just showed you that it's probably around the coolest thing you could possibly own but so what it does is become worth more tomorrow right i will buy a plain black pixel if you tell me that i can sell it for a profit tomorrow that's what they're doing right not necessarily let's say for

example in general sure but let's just let me give you an example right elon musk loves to flex on people we've seen it plenty let's say elon decides i want to be involved in nfts i love crypto i've been invested in a while and i want something that that that really means something about my involvement in this space that means something to me oh i want to own the best nft or the most expensive nft i'm going to buy this thing for 125 million or whatever he if he bought it let's just say hypothetically well now that thing is never going back on the market ever there will that thing is done maybe one day when he dies someone else will but unless he decides to sell it if he feels passionate about it he doesn't have to sell he has so much money who cares right and that's why when we see a lot of this artwork that goes

up for sale that museums buy it goes for astronomical numbers and then it never comes back it's never available again no one's getting the da vinci back it's going to stay the museum until the end of time they're not they're never going to sell that they're never going to let it go so um so basically like the point that i'm making is that it's not even necessarily to make money it could be and a lot of people do do that but there's a limited number of these there were only nine aliens and this is debatably the coolest alien if if if someone like elon musk buys, you will never see that again. You'll never have a chance to own it. It represents something so significant and so scarce. Now, look, I don't own any of these, although I have debated at time. I've been as close as possible without buying one. And now the fad, it's reaching pretty peak levels of euphoria.

So it's not the time to jump into things. But if they come back down to earth and I can get a cool picture for $50,000 or something, I might dabble. But basically, I think that these things are going to be worth a lot in the future. And it's the scarcity that really matters. So the picture itself doesn't mean anything. Well, kind of. I mean, it is that picture. But you don't own the rights to it. No, it doesn't.

No, but I think he's saying that some people genuinely place a high value on that picture and having the unique rights to it. You're the guy that owns that picture. Other people have copies, reprints of it, but that's not the same thing. You have digital

ownership. It is yours and you're the real core guy behind it. me i'm just a i have a knockoff poster of your painting but i woody can't see the value in having the real ownership of it well other than i'm hoping that someone else can well you can also look at it like this right uh so cryptocurrency is just going to become bigger and bigger i was on your podcast three years ago i'm sure we could go back and get some doug quotes everything i said back then let's see how that fared out today i'm pretty sure it went pretty well uh cryptocurrency will continue to get bigger we print more and more dollars in fact

we're printing epic amounts of money your u.s dollars get wrecked all the time their value is constantly shrinking cryptocurrency values will only continue to increase especially the good projects because the money is controlled by by numbers and algorithms and not some dude or some government entity that doesn't give two shits what happens to your money we have actual law and code and math and algorithms that's defining your money supply not some guy or some group of guys and women let's let's be gender let's include both genders here so seriously you think there's any girls involved it's men yeah we were talking truth until now anyway anyway um would you rather have algorithms control your money or people and clearly clearly, I'd rather have math where I know the rules.

There's only ever going to be 21 million Bitcoin. So I know if demand increases for Bitcoin over forever, Bitcoin price will go up. And meanwhile, US dollars, way more will be printed every year. So with that in mind, thinking now that there's $1.8 trillion in cryptocurrency in terms of total market cap. Okay, well, if these people think that these things are really cool, and they really represent something of real value, these are one of the first entities ever, this is something extremely important. When you have one of these, it means something. It's only going to be 10,000 of these ever, and they mean something. Well, then it's possible that in 25 years, it's hard to even

find one you could possibly buy because they're so important to people. Obviously, they're going to have a number at which they would sell. But that's the idea that the importance and the significance to the people that are in this community that will continue to grow. That importance will only grow with it. I think that's the main core takeaway. Okay. I understand it with crypto.'s just the nft thing it's like okay so this there's just a placeholder image and it's still just banking that someone out there in the future

is going to be willing to pay more than you currently are because it's so rare oh one more thing one more thing you also have to understand the people buying these have insane amounts of money and don't fucking care okay there is money made next to people who have insane amounts of money totally but the the these people you might think why don't they buy a really nice house they already did why don't they buy a really nice car they already did why don't they invest in stuff they probably have 10 the people buying these high-end stuff they probably have tens hundreds hundreds of millions of dollars billions of dollars in cryptocurrency already so they already have those things right what do you what do you

do when you have an extra few hundred million that you just you just don't know what to do oh i want to buy something that really represents who i am something like that i mean it's a small market obviously but these people exist can i own an image of someone else like a real person's face i want that one of kyle he doesn't like else like a real person's face i want that one of kyle he doesn't like and the value just went up you could you could put that on the blockchain for sure yeah yeah i'll just pop over put it on the blockchain yeah yeah yeah where is the blockchain is that like you could make it your avatar that's good yeah hopefully they don't put that joker makeup hank hill picture on nfts i won't be able to use it as my profile picture

this is this is so interesting like i just i'm not smart enough to understand all of it or even like how it began like how did one guy just like think of this and start integrating it into like a real financial world where now it's tens, hundreds of millions of dollars? It's mind-boggling. It's art. Harley laid it out for us a few years ago. Sorry to cut you off. And it was profoundly impactful for me.

He's going over what money is from the beginning of time. In the very beginning, what do you want? You want food and tools. And then they said, no, no, no, no, you don't want that anymore. Now you want like rocks with shit carved on them. And that's our currency. And they say, no, no, no, no, you don't want that anymore. Now, now what you wish you had were coins stamped in a particular way. And it's like, all right, coins are, and I kind of get it. I can't like, no, no, no, no, no. Now what you want is paper. You want these pieces of paper. And then there's some weight of, we'll say gold, you know, in the back room there that that paper represents. And you're

like, all right, I kind of get it. Okay. That's what money is now. Okay. Now it's just paper. There's really no coins in the background, but it's, it's literally just this piece of paper. paper. There's really no coins in the background, but it's literally just this piece of paper. This is your God. This is what you value. And we all say, oh, all right, I get it. I get it, right? We want these pieces of paper with the special printing on a bigger number, better. Cool, cool, cool. And then they say, no, no, no. What you want are strings of numbers and letters that represent the answer to a math problem. And you're like, okay, all right. Now we're in the crypto world, I guess. This is what I'm working for. Strings of numbers that represent the answer to a math problem. And cool, cool. Now we've gone another layer. What you want is ownership of a

silly picture. That is what we're working for for that is the new currency that people are striving at and you're like all right i'm still stuck on the pieces of paper backed by nothing that's that i'm old but it doesn't seem dumber than the others i guess that's actually a really great way of putting the history of money i i think that when someone wants to how does money work they should listen to that minute a minute and a half clip because that's kind of basically just true that's what happened that's the progress highlights make it happen nice there you go the small change on the bitcoin thing though it's the miners have an answer to the problem right the the actual ledger is it's a little bit different but basically more or less you're right these things have value because we attach it to them and the reason that bitcoin has value and it's

funny because i've just been in bitcoin for so many years now i i've been talking about bitcoin for i think eight years and i've had these same stances for so long that i guess it just it just feels natural to me at this point to have them again but basically it just makes so much more sense for it to be bathed by backed by algorithms and not people um and not have your money be inflationary um now as a currency bitcoin is actually failing people would argue this i think as a store of value is succeeding tremendously and will continue to isn't there some legislation in the works right now that's gonna gonna make things more difficult for crypto yeah there's so there's a bill that passed the senate and i and i think there there's some

reason he's to go to the house as well uh normally i think it goes house in the senate i'm not sure where it's going that direction this time maybe i should have looked at that too but the point is they had a really vague definition of who needs to report certain things in cryptocurrency. And they use the word broker, and they use broker kind of in a traditional finance system kind of way, but it doesn't super exist in cryptocurrency. So it becomes very vague. And you could technically argue tons of people are brokers. And so it might apply to lots of people that randomly that shouldn't. And I got to say, I don't often have ted cruz's back in on something but ted cruz had an amazing clip where he basically stands up in front of in front of the

senate and says guys there is a hundred of us in here there are maybe five of us that could even tell you what this is maybe we shouldn't make laws on this so we've actually learned about it it's never stopped us before and it it's not going to stop us now. But it didn't happen because a senator from Alabama wanted more money in an infrastructure bill. And he said, I either get my $50 billion or fuck your shit. I'm not changing anything in this bill. And then they wouldn't give him the $50 billion.

So he took his ball, and he went home, and they went with that language. What an asshole that Alabama guy is. Politics. Politics for you. What's Alabama going to do with $50 billion anyway? his ball and he went home and they went with that language what an asshole alabama politics politics for alabama what's alabama gonna do with 50 billion dollars anyway i mean put it all into the red i'm sure they're going to invest in improving their school system it's yeah i'm sure just a hunch but i bet defense spending tends to go towards alab I don't know. I'm just guessing. I'm just shot in the dark. Could be Huntsville. Yeah. I've been there lately.

It's been about two years. Yeah, it's been about two years since anywhere. Yeah. 49 days. Is it? Is it 49 days now? I'm on federal probation, Doug. That's what we're talking about.

Doug, are you unaware? No, I'm not aware of this. You're on federal probation doug that's what we're talking about doug are you unaware no i'm not aware of this but what you're on federal probation for what happened uh he started a fake cryptocurrency i wish i wish it had been something that made sense uh uh possession of marijuana uh i got uh two months of federal prison and two years uh federal probation for possession of half an ounce of marijuana. 50 days, four hours, 25 minutes, 23 seconds until I'm a free man. Hell yeah. Wow, dude, that sucks.

I'm sorry to hear that. I just moved from a state where it was just legal. So it's weird that people are going to – wait, you went to federal prison? Yeah, federal prison. What happened? I beat the state charges so they just pushed it up to the federal level um because the way the search warrant was written uh the uh the state charges weren't going to stick but because i own firearms they could make it a

federal case and uh and the search warrant wasn't didn't need to be applied they just automatically had the right technically to search my house so they like change they're like oh we uh no we search this house because of this thing not because of that thing we said before. And so then finding my bong or whatever they found in my house, I think it was a gram of weed at my house. That stuck. I had 14 grams of it. It was concentrate, but that doesn't matter on a federal level.

Marijuana is marijuana is marijuana on a federal level. It's horrible. I mean, the drug war is one of the federal level so that's that's that's it's horrible and i mean the drug war is one of the dumbest wars that america's ever fought it's so stupid it's a victimless crime we doesn't even have bad health consequences silly we're about to win any day now on a federal level explain i'm curious about this what if i had um i don't know how much a freshly made brownie weighs. Would it weigh like two and a half pounds maybe? Like a whole tray of brownies?

Yeah. So I would have two and a half pounds of pot. You're goddamn right. And not just federal, state as well. That's why you do not want edibles in an illegal state. I say where they're not legal because they weigh heavy. And sometimes they'll weigh the container like like where the like i'm not saying around here yeah right it's not cheatery i'm not saying they do that with edibles but i've i've seen it happen where like the guy

would have like this infinitesimal amount of crack cocaine for example and it's like oh like and i don't remember the exact details but it's like one gram of crack is like a felony let's just say that that's the number but like less than a gram it's just it's still a misdemeanor i guess you would think any amount of crack but anyway maybe it was math maybe it was coke but whatever but when they weigh the baggie with the twist tie it like gets just over that level and he's like you're weighing the bag you're weighing the bag come on i can't smoke the bag and they're like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter're way in the bag you're way in the bag come on i can't smoke the bag and they're like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter we're way in the bag we're way in the bag you're

going to prison yeah it's uh there's a lot of nonsense that goes on but yeah you know i got to go to federal prison so that's the bonus in all of this so i got lots of fun stories out of that made some new friends that i'm not technically allowed to speak to um because i'm a felon but uh you know it was it was a good time i know we probably don't even have a way to contact him but i just probation would you be able to get snow on the show like is that a thing that's possible or don't mess with it i think so uh maybe i'll try i have like i have my notepad that i was like writing stuff my notepad from prison and uh and in that i had the names of all my like buddies in there and like

their contact information this one guy had a daughter who ran a podcast to like get to like fight the war on drugs but she had i looked it up she had like 100 viewers or some shit and he was like she you should go on her show and i'm like i sure will giant black man i sure will first thing i do when i get out first thing i do like I'm not even going to shower. I'm going to call your daughter. I can't pronounce this. Oh, no. But yeah, I've got Snow's real name. Snow was a large Mexican man who protected my asshole in prison for me in exchange for just like working out with him every day. And he ran with a Mexican street gang, and he was in for trafficking several pounds of methamphetamine.

And they say that when you go to a prison camp you're not in there with any violent offenders what they mean is you're not in there with anyone who was convicted of a violent offense so snow's confessing murders to me out on the yard like like another guy like ouch putting snow on blast here let's nobody knows snow's real name but me. I can barely pronounce it. It's written down in the other room. I was just like, we're out there walking and Snow would drop hard N-bombs on the yard

and I'm just like, does he think that I have his back out here? He should know I don't. That's how you get your last beat. like he should know i don't defending n-word use of a hispanic man yeah it's not as bad as if i was saying it i don't think you know we would be with our tear shot with an ear shot of african-americans this man's dropping hard r's and i'm back there like i hope when they finally turn around and start stabbing they they know they heard that cholo accent and they know that it wasn't my white ass like you can do a cholo accent i didn't do the accent prison that seems like that seems like a good hill to die on you know you look back on your life like this is the spot me and snow we're going down

why shouldn't snow be able to say it you're right I thought this was America I thought this was America I mean that situation would come down to whoever the bigger person was if snow was more jacked you'd have his back if the other guy was more jacked, you'd have his back.

If the other guy was more jacked and he had more people behind him, you got to be like Snow. Very uncool man. Kyle, who wins? Current Kyle or Snow? Arm wrestling. I do. I do.

Okay. Who wins? Current Kyle or Snow? Knife fight. Snow has been in more knife fights than me. How many have you been in? Zero. And Snow had stab wounds and he and he was always talking about yeah i was up in the medium and this guy wanted to have a knife fight pulled that he tried to chank he said instead of shank he says

chank tried to chank me and i was like throw him up bro throw him up i want to box that n-word and and i'm sitting there like like yeah i know how that is when an n-word wants to chank you yes meanwhile you're holding harry potter and i'm literally reading harry potter i'm literally just trying to sit in my bunk and read my fucking books and like watch 60 days go past as fast as they possibly can and this fucking cholo from mexico who's in for fucking trafficking ice is talking about whacking like a different mexican street gang which i won't mention but just all sorts of nonsense talking about ak-47s and shit and cars and drive-by shootings just and and this is because you had how much weed 14 grams okay so this seems like an appropriate response to that let's get you in there with snow two criminals we both know that at the federal level i mean

these guys these guys are pretty much the same guy the guy a few of the guards a few of the guards recognize me and they're like hey hey kyle, you're the Kyle from the internet, right? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing? And I'm like, I don't fucking know, man, but you got to stop being so friendly with me. Could you pat me down or something? Hit me. Please hit me.

Please hit me with a baton i also love just claiming that are you kyle from the internet yeah i'm i'm kyle if there's an internet kyle it's me i'm just kind of number one you know you know me from online i'm the one with like a billion views that was in the superbowl commercial. Yeah. That's me. That's me. So it's like,

like, and you're modest too. Yeah. I mean, I mean like three prison guards are like, recognize me. I was so happy that none of the prisoners recognize me because maybe they thought I,

maybe they'd be like, Oh, maybe you can put some money in my commissary. I'm looking to get some, some Cheetos this month and I'm all out. I didn't, nobody was trying to run any scams on me at least or anything. So I don't know.

It was an interesting time. I feel like you would have been able to make some nice inroads just talking about guns with anyone who was really into it. Because you're so knowledgeable on that topic, they could be like, oh, I shoot a fucking whatever the hell. And you'd be like, really? Well, when you're trying to kill a N-word and you're parlaying stuff. And you're parlaying. Guys-word in your parlance, you shouldn't be in the N-word. Guys, what kind of show did I get invited on today? Oh, we are so politically correct.

Don't worry. We call Arnold Schwarza African-American. That is so inappropriate. Man, that's ballsy for Snow to be saying the N-word. It's getting pretty dicey out here. Getting dicey here in the PK streets. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it.

Yeah, it was a rough time. But like I said, 50 days left or whatever I said. And I'm immediately leaving the state of Georgia and getting out. I've got a big vacation planned going to Colorado. And I'm really looking forward to it. Awesome. Because I love marijuana. It's a big part of my my happy happy zone it's uh i really enjoy it it's so interesting how different people have different effects with it

i wish i liked marijuana because it would be so much healthier than alcohol and alcohol is my my drug of choice for sure but every time i smoke weed i just get such bad anxiety and there's always some guy that says bro bro, you just need to try this strain, bro. You hit the sativas, bro. You need to hit some indica. No, I've tried all the strains. I'm good. It just doesn't work for me.

I get so stressed out and anxious. And I start to think weird shit. If I'm in a group setting and people start laughing, I look at them and I'm zoned in. Yeah. That fucker is laughing at me, isn't he? Yeah, everyone's looking at,

he thinks he doesn't realize it, but I know I hate every drug. I've, I never have a good time on these drugs. I don't like alcohol. I don't like pot. I don't like, uh,

whatever opiate they prescribe you after surgery that you're supposed to take for three days and stay ahead of the pain. I hate that whole process and get off as soon as I can. And everyone tells me that I take drugs incorrectly, but it's just not my cup of tea. Yeah, I like all the fucking drugs. I've never had a drug that I didn't enjoy. I love getting dental work. Sometimes I don't even need it.

I'm like, yeah, pull that one. They'll hook me up with some Tylenol three. I take it wrong. Fentanyl is fantastic. Oh, well, fentanyl is amazing. That time they gave me like a morphine when I had that burn. They had to scrub the skin off my hand. That was the most IV.

Yeah. Yeah. She was just like, let me know when you feel anything. And she like hit me with whatever, five CCs or whatever. And I felt it. It was just like, oh, this feels amazing. And I was like, I when you feel anything and she like hit me with whatever five cc's or whatever and i felt it it was just like oh this feels amazing and i was like i don't feel anything and she's like move yeah and she's like really you must have a higher tolerance and she like loads the syringe up more like gives me 10 cc's or whatever and i and i just went i gave her like a little rick flair and then like just completely lost memory of the next like

30 minutes of someone scrubbing the flesh off the back of my fucking hand which is probably a good thing I just remember the sensation of like this but like no pain and barely any memory it's awesome I left off nitrous oxide that I think they don't do that at the dentist anymore when I was a kid you could either get um what are they injecting to your gum novocaine I think they don't do that at the dentist anymore. When I was a kid, you could either get, what are they injecting to your gum? Novocaine, I think. Novocaine or nitrous oxide, the gas. And you always ask for gas because the needle hurts so much. And I'm a little kid.

And they'll be like, tell me when you start to feel it. And the whole objective to nitrous oxide is to pretend you don't feel it so you get more. And they'll ask you questions to see if you're alert enough to keep giving you gas. whole objective to nitrous oxide is to pretend you don't feel it so you get more and you just and they'll ask you you know questions to see if you're alert enough to keep giving you gas and you really don't want to answer them but you know they're going to take this nitrous oxide away from you if you can't trick them into thinking you're not super high so that's the that's that's the game you play i love how that is here you like you're like booze fuck that all these drugs no i i do

engage in drug seeking behavior at the dentist take your pick man you know all of them i didn't want that on amazon concert wait what yeah yeah so they've got these whole like kits now where you can like buy multiple can. You know how I like the little CO2 canisters? Don't get Woody into whippets. Kyle's advising me to get drugs through the mail. You know, Kyle, if you keep up this type of behavior, you might end up in prison one day.

I'll try to mind my P.M.V. He'd be a true veteran. But yeah, because nitrous oxide has other uses for filling stuff. I don't actually know what the other uses are. Remember the Steve-O documentary where he just plugs it in there and they just was sucking it out? You can buy those on Amazon. Yeah, it's a cream whipper. Zach just linked it.

First, they know what they're doing, right? If you're just whipping up some cream, you'd need one cartridge, maybe two, unless you're running an industrial kitchen. They sell the cartridges in those big, like 24 packs. Like you can, you can buy so many cartridges for like so little money and you've got a whole rig you can use to like,

like I've never done. You can buy 96 packs. The reviews on this are great. The top one is sure does whip that cream. This one, the next one, five stars, goes, These are the best, Jerry, the best! Dangerous.

Vomiting all night after its effects. Oh, one star from him. That cream went bad. That's his problem. I hope that it got one star when he was throwing up all night. Threw up all night. Terrible experience all night, terrible experience, three stars. It was a good night. Yeah, I still got fucked up.

Forgot I was depressed for a while. I've never taken a drug that I didn't really thoroughly, thoroughly fucking enjoy. They're just so much fun. And weed, like the first time I ever did weed, I had a really bad experience. And I would like try to do it after that. And I was like, oh, man, I just hate this. And then that was when I was like 19. But then at 25, like a guy brought some weed to my house.

And I was like, oh, yeah, I like this a lot. Can you bring me bags of this every week? And he's like, sure thing, man. I bring you bag every day if you want it. And so like that's what i did he just kept bringing me bags and bags of it and uh and i i smoked from the time i was 25 until the time i got arrested and then now i'm on a two-year tolerance break currently that should do it it's a good oh there's gonna be no tolerance i told twitch chat the other day that if they got

me 500 subs then uh when we got to colorado um i would, I would start off with the hard stuff instead of just flour. 610 subscribers yesterday. It's outrageous. We're starting off strong when we get to Colorado, I guess. We're going to get some THC isolate, which is that shit that looks like meth.

It's like white crystals of THC that you smoke in a dab rig. After all this time, you deserve to let yourself ease into it. And enjoy the whole ride. And then $1,600 later and here we go. Fair enough. All your weed budget

has covered the entire trip. It is hard to find a review here that's about how well it whips cream. All of the reviews are like happy whipping nobody's out there actually whipping cream i guarantee it no i like that you can either buy one 120 or 600 so basically basically what they're doing here is one if you actually need to whip cream and then if you don't you're gonna need at least 120 of these yeah yeah we call this the steve-o pack no steve-o's long time sober now yeah he's been

sober long time or something yeah you can't make that joke anymore the guy the guy's clean he's clean as a whistle did you watch the documentary with steve-o where i didn't oh his like when he was in whippets this is way back when he was doing drugs. Like there were probably literally 600 of those. Like, it was like walking through snow and his place. Like he's so fucked up. I think like Knoxville was filming him while he was fucked up on nitrous so that later he could show him.

But yeah, good for Steve-O for Steve-O. I'm really not looking forward to the new jackass as much. Number one, like a lot of the people are gone and also like they're all almost 50 yeah i i think uh knoxville is like 48 or 49 and there's like i saw one really funny like bit there's like a clip and there and one of the guys is talking to the the i think it's ponchius he's talking to the camera he's like you know they say that uh concussions after 50 are just a real problem but knoxville's 49 so let's see how this

goes i think that the the two things that really made jackass were the people and also sort of their youth and i think once you lose the people and or the youth then the show starts to just become and i was never a huge jackass fan anyway but you remember when the first movie came out and it was big and that was sort of peak jackass and then i feel like it kind of went downhill and and yeah when people are 49 and some of them are sober some are dead or some or whatever then it's i don't know it's lost it gets heavy it gets a little heavy you know the right amount of talent. Like Johnny Knoxville in particular is pretty good on a dirt bike,

if I recall correctly. Seeing the guy ride it across water, I can't do that. And they've done some stunts where they jump from, like, building to building on a skateboard and stuff. And, like, they weren't so good that these things presented no risk to them, but they weren't so bad that they couldn't do interesting stuff. I don't want to watch someone fall off going down two steps. Yeah.

I like when they have really elaborate stuff, but I also like the nonsense too. Like, like I, what I don't like is when they're cutting themselves or like hurting themselves, like basically torturing themselves. I do like when they like strap themselves to a fucking rocket or something

and like shoot it over a lake. I like that rubber band, um, uh, I do like when they strap themselves to a fucking rocket or something and shoot it over a lake. I like that rubber band porta potty thing with Steve-O that was full of, I think, dog shit. I don't know. It was just awful. I like stuff like that. I don't know. I'll watch it, but I think I'm too old for that shit now.

I remember when the first Borat came out laughing so goddamn hard. But then that second one came out last year, and I didn't even make it through i i turned it off i was just like this isn't funny yeah the second borat fucking sucked but the first one you go back and watch 100 holds up it's hysterical it's so good some of those times when they're when they're like chasing the jew eggs down the street and like like get it before it hatches it's just like oh my god it's like no he's jewish it's fine but yeah you're right 100 about jackass and that like one when they were like 20 and it was like the beginning and it was like how fast can we put shopping carts into one another it was like man these guys like to get fucked up and do crazy stuff and i think that continued all the way through jackass too where they were still young enough that it was like these are young guys like

at the oldest like what like low early 30s maybe 30s the old guys and they'll calm it down you can even tell they're calming it down a bit and then now so much time has passed that like bam margera might literally die before the movie even releases he wasn't in in it. And it's like, oh, all this goofing around with drugs caught up to a few members of this crew unbelievably quickly, either through death or despair. Well, it was alcohol with Ryan Dunn. He was just drunk driving.

And it was the alcohol and the money, right? Because I think he was driving a Porsche or something. He was going crazy fast when he crashed. It was one of those non-survivable crashes it's like you know you'd crash into the woods going 110 or whatever it's over i i get wanting to get high and enjoy that and when i look back i've definitely had some moments where i got high and whatever and it was good but the the whole let's get high and then do dangerous shit where we can actually die. I just don't get that.

Why drive? You know, I just don't understand. I get getting fucked up. You want to just get wasted, have at it. But to get wasted and oh, I'm going to just go joyride around just speeding in my car. Why? How would you do that? It's almost frustrating to hear that story, you know?

Yeah. And if you watch bam's videos now of him like complaining about i'll be fast because we talked about it before it is like genuinely sad to be like i remember like having middle school and high school like hangouts with my friends back when like this was coming out and being like oh bam margera is so cool like he's just a shithead and he bullies his parents and he's kickflips in the living room or whatever the fuck. And now it's like, oh, my God, this guy, this guy's life is like over. Like when I was a kid, I would skateboard and I loved buying.

I bought Tony Hawk boards and I bought Bam Marguerite boards, you know, with Element, I think it was. And he was my favorite skateboarders. And I liked watching him and some of the initial Jackass stuff. And then, yeah, it just starts to get to a point where it's, man, I know it's reality and it kind of sucks, but at some point you have to kind of get your shit together and be an adult human. Or else, I mean, I guess you don't have to, but then you'll either die or... Yeah, it turns out that's not a rule.

Yeah, if you have tens of millions of dollars, you don't really have to do that. Because he is unbelievably rich still. You know that one friend of his... Not rich enough to afford that picture. Fair enough. He couldn't afford that stupid alien picture. Have you ever seen when Bam Margera went on Stern and seen that interview?

No. I can't remember the guy's name, but he's got this one friend. He's in some of the jackass stuff. He did something and now he owes Bam like 50 80 000 or something and this is an unemployed hang around this is like my jeremy a version of my jeremy like like this is a guy who has no income whatsoever he's just his income is hanging around with bam margera i want to say he like took bam's lambo crashed it and then like bam like lied for him and told the cops that he had been driving the Lambeau. Cause this guy didn't even have a license or something like that. I'm probably

butchering the story, but it's something like that. And so like the insurance didn't cover or something. And so it's Chris Novak. Yeah. And so like Novak, like was there during the interview. He's like, yeah. So now I just, I owe him $78,000. Um, really no way to ever pay that back so i just do what bam says it was so fucked up it is and now like what kind of duties is he doing for bam it's like like that video where bam is talking about not being involved and like i'm gonna fucking sue knoxville that snake it's like as he's filming it he's going through alcohol patrols like he's just like turning away from the instagram camera just going like like and it's like oh my god dude like

like this was the good time to record like what is the rest of your day looking like like maybe we we need to start a cryptocurrency called save thea. Some part of the profits can go towards... Just go towards people who create their own problems. Half a percent goes directly to Bam Margera's... Half a percent? Relax there. Gates Foundation. The market cap

for this thing could be hundreds of dollars. Round up to the first penny. It is pretty annoying when you like have such good memories of things and then you like go back and watch the new version of it and it almost poisons the old one like for some reason hulu has the simpsons on it but it's only like season 32 of the simpsons and my simpsons experience goes up to like I think I've made it all the way to like season 15 until it's like this is unwatchable like this is so bad now

like 1 through 10 primo great shit really funny show like I watched an episode or two of the Simpsons season 32 to be like come on okay let's see they're still on the air it can't be that it is it is uncomfortably bad I don't know who's still watching the Simpsons but it can't be many it is it is uncomfortably bad i don't know who's still watching the simpsons but

it can't be many people like it's probably kids it might be right yeah and also you probably like the the earlier ones because you have nostalgia for them whenever you watch that or when you watch when you're a kid you think you just love getting to feel the same things you felt a long time ago and i think that there's there's a connection there that you don't get in the newer things and then also I mean dude 32 seasons of one show gonna be hard to get you know really outside the box

at some point right there's 32 seasons or episodes 32 seasons it's older than I am good God yeah if you look at the writing talent they had like early on though it's outrageous like like it's all names that like even if you're not super into entertainment or whatever you recognize uh it was just a who's who of writing and comics that were writing the show at first

if you go to the imdb i'm trying to pull it up but like those first few seasons are just lots of them are like five stars or whatever. And then you can see the steady decline. You can see like when the Simpsons died, when like characters like Homer became a caricature themselves. Homer got better. Homer got so much worse. Well, I haven't watched current Simpsons, so I can't speak to that. You didn't like it when he choked Bart.

He was mean. He was way – he wasn't dumb. He was just cruel. He didn't have a good relationship with his family. A few years later, he loves Bart. He's an idiot. He has a bulletproof head.

And that was peak Homer. When he stumbled around from success to success. Peak Homer is the episode where... I want to say he's lost his job or something like that the red-headed guy goes and he's just crushing it it's when homer can realize that he can no longer provide for his family and so he's going to kill himself and he's walking to the bridge carrying the rock tied to his leg so that he can like drown himself that's peak homer that's what

i like after a while homer like became illiterate and it's like what wait a minute the man the man can read he's just a buffoon yeah i like the one where homer was working for hank scorpio and they like set up his whole family and everything and just there was one i think it maybe it was the guy from the bar who was really frustrated or co-worker at the nuclear power plant where they're like this guy makes every wrong decision and it works out perfectly yeah rick grimes that's i think that's his name it's also the guy from walking dead oh well then something grimes probably not rick uh sam sam simon one of the creators of the simpsons um he until he passed away he was

married to jennifer tilly she she plays poker a lot uh obviously that's poker has been my main my main career over the last or over my adult life and um she's just one of the most all-around great people you'll ever meet so nice so friendly good she's just she's a kind soul you know um sounds like she loses a lot i'm a big fan no her poker game she has made some mistakes but really good person yeah i like watching jennifer play i think everyone likes watching jennifer play um for some reason and or another there's a famous hands with her where where she thought someone had quads uh and you can google it jennifer tilly quads or something where it was clear the person did not have quads and then she just called with a full house or something and the guy was the hell i obviously

didn't have quads i don't know it's a funny hand you want to look it up it's a good one but she won it sounds like she did win but she could have won more oh okay yeah she just called instead of raised oh exactly yeah no i how much poker you play kyle uh i play two or three nights a week um okay play low stakes like like we play like 25 and 50 cents but the game gets stupid like really quickly so it might as well be one two um which is still low stakes and everything, but, but I don't know. I want some nights I went, I went a grand that's happened a few times, but nothing crazy. Like we're not, we're not playing big for those blinds. Yeah, that was a, that was a good night. Um, I was up like five or 600 and then I hit a straight flush over a nut.

Uh, no, a straight flush over a full house. And with one of my good friends, we were both the winners that night. And I was just like, Kyle, stopyle stop kyle stop and he's just like you better fold i've got it i've got it and i'm just like i've had you since the flop it's not looking good and then just straight flush it down on the river and just took all of his money it was it was uh i haven't hit a whole lot of it was the royal too um i haven't hit a lot of straight flushes but playing online you hit so many funky hands like that you were calling a royal a straight flush the whole time i was i was okay yeah that's that's interesting uh royal winning having a royal flush against someone having a full house uh i just want to say that nothing didn't happen the odds are like that's the kind of thing that

you see a james bond hand and one guy's four of a kind and one guy's a royal one guy's and and you're thinking this didn't happen because i've played seven million hands of poker and i don't think i've ever had a royal versus full house in seven million hands of a career playing poker because it's just so it could happen definitely good for what it's worth he wrote us and told us about it the night it happened yeah i wrote a story i've heard because we looked at the odds and i think the odds are like one in six hundred sixty thousand or something like that. Or maybe six hundred. It was something stupid, like someone told me the odds. And but no, I've never I've hit straight flushes, but never a royal and certainly never like you'll hit hands like that sometimes. And it's like nobody else has enough to call or you won't make any money.

You'll make twenty dollars. but he had the second nuts um well not the second knots here's the conversation you said it was one in 665 000 odds yeah yeah stupid odds stupid ridiculous odds but yeah um we play we play uh like a little private game in our discord because i can't play in a game that takes a rake so uh we just uh we just you know kind of handle our transactions privately did you say you've never gotten a royal flush ever kyle in all your plan i've never no no have you doug like have plenty of you just had a royal other than that hand you mean right yeah other than that hand that's the only one okay okay oh i've had royal flushes i mean i i don't think

i've ever had one at a casino but online i've played so many hands I've definitely had royal flushes but normally you have a royal flush the other guy doesn't have anything and you just win a little bit of money and then think oh cool and you play the next hand I suck at poker so much I don't know these tans like a royal flush is that the one where you have all the top cards in a row

yeah are they the same color so what's your favorite card doug that an ace there's four of those you know kyle are there you're in georgia right yeah are there are there poker rooms in in georgia are there casinos closest one is cherokee north carolina and uh my probation officer actually will let me go up there and play. So we went and played a little live poker four months ago or something like that. It went poorly.

It went poorly. He let you go play poker? Right. Seems like a cool guy for being a probation officer. He's a super cool guy. I wrote the email and I was like, hey, got a stupid question for you here. My buddy is heading up to cherokee north carolina tomorrow gamble at the casino and play uh play play play poker can i leave the state go to another state

and play poker over for three days he's like yeah just let me know uh when you're getting back and where you'll be staying i'm like i'll be staying at harakiz uh at uh harris cherokee casino he's like cool let me let me know how it goes good luck and i'm like fuck all right i like that i I'll be staying at Harris Cherokee Casino. He's like, cool. Let me know how it goes. Good luck. And I'm like, fuck, all right. I like this guy. I wish you luck. That was the best.

Yeah, he did. He's a great guy. I really like my PO. That's good, dude. I've heard of that casino before, the Cherokee one. It's bigger than anything in Vegas. Is it live dealers, though? Or is it electronic?

They have a big poker room. I don't know how many tables. They've got one one two and uh i think it's two five and uh i i think i just played one two yeah i just played one two and bought it for like 500 twice and uh went poorly but uh but it's a big poker room so in uh in texas i i just moved from nevada to texas i just moved to austin i was part of the big wave of west coast people moving into texas and you read all the articles west coast people blowing up all the home prices that was me i was basically in all the stories these guys need to leave that was me um but anyway so so i've like checked out the poker rooms here in texas and the the legal situation on them is is pretty interesting so in texas basically you're allowed to have a

private club where gambling can occur but the house can't have any stake in what happens so you can't take a rake in a hand basically you pay a fee and then you pay an amount per hour and you go there and you can just hang out in the club with your friends and you happen to be playing poker uh so it's and that that scene has exploded in the last i don't know five years or whatever so um i think i heard someone saying something about that that was possible in georgia but i could be wrong about that does the house earn more or less in a scenario like that it could be it could be either they just change the rules right because in, for example, what they'll normally do is every $10 that goes into the pot, they'll take one out and they'll stop that at $40. So basically, if you play really small stake stuff, it's really hard to win because they're taking so much of the money.

But if you play high stake stuff, you hit the cap really fast. And so let's say you're playing big pots that are $1,000, $2,000. You don't care they're taking five bucks but let's say you're playing small pots where it's playing 30 40 50 bucks now that five dollars you're taking out is a lot of the money in there so it makes winning in the small games kind of hard because the casino is taking a bunch this is just equal more it's i don't know it's still kind of similar but basically the basic point i'm making is rather than money being taken out of the pot, you're paying a fee up front to get your seat.

It's just a little bit different. Okay. Yeah. I love playing poker. Like I said, we play at least two or three nights a week. We're probably going to play a night. I think I'm going to try to stream some poker on Twitch and just hide my whole cards with my camera because there's no way I can show the whole

cards because one of those mocks in there is going to hop in my stream and just take my whole cards with my camera because there's no way I can show the whole cards because one of those jamokes in there is going to hop in my stream and just take my money from me. Poker streaming is tough because you have two options. You can either delay, so there's a five-minute delay between when you actually get the cards and when they see them. So that's the downside. And then the other thing is you can hide your whole cards, but then people don't know what you're experiencing,

so it sucks for them. So basically, streaming on Twitch is really difficult for poker and it's had its moments where people kind of built audience i think jason somerville was the biggest for a while i know that um there's a few other guys like uh i think lex veldhaus one of the bigger guys now and um parker talbot was one of the bigger streamers but they've all kind of i think to some extent had to deal with this issue which is there's just not a great way to do it in terms of chat i might show one card that'd be kind of funny i might show one card anyone that can see one card will destroy you because they're going to know one of your cards i don't know they're pretty bad

just one just being one card would be enough to destroy someone yeah yeah i don't know anything about you'd know half the time he's got a pair you know from it yeah that's true yeah and a lot of other things you'd also would know really quickly what the best hand they could have is you could put people in terrible spots right and you get hints too like if he's whatever working on a straight or something you're like ah he's acting like the other one's a club too sure sure, sure. Or a flush, you mean. But yeah, I guess I would – I think what I would do is put my camera –

I've exposed myself again. I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I think I would just put my camera over my hole cards, which is a lesser experience for the viewer because whenever I see poker content online and they're not showing the hole cards, it is kind of nice every now and then when the guy doesn't show the camera.

Or I've seen, I can't remember which organization does it, but they'll occasionally they'll do it. Oh, this is the pot where you don't know what this guy has. And it's, it's kind of like a little bit of a mystery. Cause you know what everyone else has. I kind of dig that like to kind of mix a little flavor in every now and then. But for the most part, it's, it's really nice. Yeah.

ESPN had this thing where it was the jack links mystery hand or something and something like that i wonder what he had and then the msh yeah you could do it and poker not be the point of the stream like people would enjoy just chatting kyle stream you would just have to devote a lot of your cognitive horsepower away from poker yeah yeah pay attention to the chat keep it going i gotta pay attention i gotta pay attention to at least the action like know who opened and and and what it'd be what's going on harder to play with half a brain and sort of have a good insight as to why everyone's doing what they're doing yeah is that half a brain thing making sense am i saying it clearly no no it is but but it would

be a lot of just chatting because i i mean i i don't play a lot of hands so there'd be a lot of it's it's full full full full i i don't know if i still have this record or not because i haven't been following it for the last few years but at least for a while i had the most money ever won on a poker stream oh yeah yeah how much i think it was 455 000 that's that's a good number so high i i asked poker guys this we've had a couple on the show do you you get numb to huge amounts of money? Easy come, easy go must sort of fuck with your idea of what things cost. If you can make half a million dollars in one hand,

then why isn't your house 30 million? That's obviously 90 seconds worth of work. Because you can't consistently do it right this is of course not does it i'm sorry does it morph your like concept of how hard it is to earn money or do you have a pretty good averaging mind that you know takes this more uh realistically there's so there's two different forms of poker there's tournaments and there's cash and i think typically speaking so just to kind of talk about those formats one of them you sit down with dollars and you can leave whenever you want your chips represent dollars

and one of them is a tournament where everyone puts a buy-in in and then the guy at the end gets the most gets most of the money or a lot of the money in the cash game format which has been more of my specialty over my career it's hard for things to really go to your head because it's such a grind right maybe you buy in for a thousand dollars you're hoping to win a hundred dollars at that table right so it takes years to build up and eventually you're playing ten thousand dollar games or a hundred thousand dollar games and then you're hoping to win five hundred or a thousand or two thousand or whatever so you you rarely have huge scores where your situation drastically changes so it doesn't really feel like that tournaments are where people just randomly stumble into

millions of dollars because the biggest one is the world series of poker main event every year somebody wins that thing for eight to ten million dollars obviously they're gonna own some taxes and stuff but basically they go from being you know a smaller sex poker player or maybe even a recreational poker player to having all of a sudden millions of dollars for poker. People make really epically terrible decisions when they do that. With mixed results. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of guys that like Joe Hashim.

I don't know. I love watching Joe Hashim play because he's awful. He's awful at it. There's a World Series of Poker winner that's bad at poker? Did he win the man or second place? He won the man. I can't remember what he won. It was a lot.

He can't be that bad if he won, right? That is extremely wrong. Okay. Think about it like this. If we played heads up and your strategy was, I'm going to go all in, Taylor, you just went all in every hand, and we played a reasonable format, I would only you 60 of the time or so 62 it depends on the format so you even

though you would have no strategy just i'm all in again i'm all in again you're just doing that i could only beat you not even two out of three times so if we played and you did that we could play one game beat me sit out and see, knew I was better than Doug. And then it's not that hard to do that. It's actually pretty easy. Okay, that makes sense. In these tournaments, usually what happens is people start to get really lucky for extended periods of time because when you have a tournament that has 7,000 people,

if you're going to make it far in that, you have to get really lucky because if you don't, you're just going to lose your chips to someone that is, basically. And of course, there's skill right and the people that are good when it's close or they or they get maybe average luck they might go a lot further because they're able to do better with those same hands than a bad player would but to really win a huge tournament you have to get so fucking lucky that a lot of times the guy that wins it is just not even very good at poker it's right up it happens a lot and then but then they've got like a ton of money and they get to diversify that back out to the good poker players in cash games so it's really it's really fun to

see because every year it happens it's i would think i actually think it's really good by the way i don't think it sucks things really good because think about something like chess there are no super high stakes chess matches because the there's a rating system and the player with the better rating will beat you right on average yeah so no one gambles why gamble when this guy is just going to clobber you you don't gamble but if anyone can be anyone kind of a lot it's a pretty good gambling game and so the fact that sometimes bad players win a lot of money is actually really good for the game and its longevity speaking of bad players um if you if you google search like best fold of all time your hand with hell move hellmuth comes up a lot where uh yeah i think

there's like three grand in the pot you flop a straight it's uh but you have like seven ten so like the board, like eight, nine Jack or something. Helmet has the nuts. He's got 10 queen and you, you raise it. You might make it 7,000 or something like that. Does has the nuts mean he can't lose at that point?

He has the best hand possible. Um, there are two more cards to come, so that can be changed. But in this scenario, because of Doug's holdings holding doug has a zero percent chance it doesn't matter what the next two cards are he's lost but from his point of view i just flopped a straight you know i should be good here so he makes it 7 000 to go and help me it

goes it makes it 97 000. And Doug's just like, why would you do that? What does Phil Helmuth do that with? And he's just like, you've got, you must have been, well, you got.10. All right, I fold. And it's just like, could Helmuth have thrown money away

more effectively? I don't think so. It was just such a bad play from his part and i like phil he's he's killing it in that high stakes poker duel right now how many does he want seven in a row it's been a long stretch that that hand i think is my most famous hand at this point i have to think about it but probably is uh and basically i check raised the second nut so the second best possible hand you can have and faced a re-raise and folded uh and i don't i think the reason that people think that it's

such an amazing fold is because when you have 10-7 on jack 9-8 you only lose to queen 10 you don't lose three of a kind you don't lose a two pair you don't lose to bluffs you lose whatever you only lose to queen 10. So it was an interesting situation. You have to know your opponent a little bit too. Phil is not a guy that just punts off 100K. I mean, when he went all in, it was around 100K, I think. He's not going to just go all in for $100,000 with just random bluffs, random buffy hands.

He does do that. He doesn't really play like that. And so I actually got a little bit of read on him too i asked him for i was i said phil what he got over there or something like that and then he was coming up with things that he was trying to basically come up with things that he could have that would make me want to call i'm thinking why do you why are you trying to convince me to call you know i could have the bluff i could have that bluff i could have this bluff if you're bluff're bluffing, this is a very classic thing with human emotion. Humans love to act weak when they're strong and act strong when they're weak. So when you see someone flaunting their money

online, they're posting about this money, this thing, I got this thing. Look at this hot babes. Look at this. Usually it's because they either don't have it or they're trying to look strong when they're weak. And then vice versa. A lot of're they're trying to look strong when they're weak um and then vice versa a lot a lot of times when people try to look weak they're actually really strong they don't want you to know how strong they are so when people have good hands typically um they they're trying to act weak in different ways right oh i'm weak i could have these bluffs i'm weak but the reality is you have the nuts whereas if he's bluffing he's not going to sit there i'll say he's bluffing me he's not going to say i could be bluffing here i could have a bluff i could have

this bluff i could have that no he's do you realize how scary that is he's gonna do that thing he does that's this he's gonna do yeah he's gonna do that well that's a terrible tell well that's what he that's what he does oh he always does that time no one's ever explained to me why fake tells are a bad idea. I just feel like you should be throwing out tells all the time, right? Like unreadable through your massive nonsense. No one does it. Everyone goes for stoic instead of stupid.

Well, the thing you have to think about is balance, right? If you're not balanced with the tells that you have then people can know it means something and when you plan tv games i don't know how many hours tv games i've played let's just say i've played 25 50 100 i have no idea well you let's say you pulled up 100 hours of doug footage and you watched every fake tell and every tell i did over the entire time they could say okay well when he does that lean to the left on the left hand six bluffs two value bets very weak when it does the right hand he mainly had good hands they could look at when you tilt your head what does that mean when they when he like burrows what's it called and i guess yeah your brow yeah and i guess you can't do that let's put six furrow brows out meaning you have a good hand in a row and then cashing on it with the seventh fake one i but the thing is you're trying to think about

how to play while you're doing this i'm trying to think about what should i do with my hand and and what makes sense and there's so much deep strategy stuff i can't be wasting time thinking about i need to lean to the left this time you know i need to be thinking about i need to be thinking about how can i play this hand correctly because poker is super fucking complicated and any time spent not trying to essentially figure out the solution to your situation you're in is time kind of lost now with bad players you can do all this shit you know um you guys ever seen rounders where take kgb as the oreo yeah yeah so with bad players you can do stuff like that because if you can make them think it means

something or whatever then yeah you can you can get an advantage there. But then if they know that you know, then they might know that it's actually the opposite. But then if you know they know, and then you get into this leveling game. And rather than going into the leveling game, here's my take on poker. I'm going to play so good that you're going to lose on average just over the long run.

I'm going to win. So why fuck with that? Why do stuff where I might not win? I'm just going to win. I'm really good at poker. I'm going why fuck with that why do stuff where i might not win i'm just gonna win like i'm really good at poker i'm going to win so why do things where i might not win when you can just win and so i've had doug is proving that my revolutionary poker strategy is parallel to those people that say put a sumo wrestler in goal and then block all the pucks it's actually an incredibly stupid idea athletic goalie who's able to actually you don't want the blob in there it would be fun to watch though

yeah imagine that like be taking up the whole net and then they just be like picking corners like oh wait they're professional hockey players you know in hockey in hockey they used to not have regulations on pad size you know this yeah yeah taylor's a hockey fan okay cool so see see the old pictures where they're just yeah it's it's oh yeah and they still find ways to cheat the the goalie of the tampa bay lightning he they basically made it so that your shoulders can't be super tall because like he was rocking shoulder pads that were like up to his ears. Garth Snow used to have eye beams.

Garth Snow. Yeah, that was before the rules. It was absurd what Garth Snow was doing. But like Vasilevsky, currently the best goalie in the NHL, they told him you can't have these fucking ridiculous, you know, like that Kanye West video with the giant suit that comes up to your ears. And so what he did is he wears a gear that's like three sizes too big, and he tucks it into the front of his pants.

And so when he's standing there, it looks totally normal. And then when he goes in the butterfly position on the knees, it gets caught on his pants and pushes it up to his ears. And so like they're trying to figure out a new thing there. And it's like, dude, you're already the best goalie in the world right now. Just, you know, just get quicker on the ear area area i guess but i can you share that picture real quick while he's talking on the uh on the poker thing i'm curious like you said like against normal people you're just gonna be like i'm good i'm gonna forge ahead i'm gonna play my game play my strategy

like did you ever have to like kind of sit down and practice tells like when you got into it like were there things that you noticed like fuck i really am making this obvious for people uh that you had to re-evaluate your strategy or never really oh uh i so there's two kinds of poker players right there's guys that come from an online background there's guys that come from a live background online there are no tells thankfully uh yeah and so that's my background so maybe timing timing for sure but but in terms of just tells right just how you look and timing tells like yeah there can be those are easy to balance though you just always act at the same time exactly but when you come from the online background online guys are notoriously terrible when they get to a real table because they've been behind

their computer for how many years now they have to interact with humans and chips cards and and chairs and a table carlos pulls his hair out every time he's bluffing because he's so stressed out like he's been doing it for years just freaking the fuck out like come on come on there are guys that have it maybe not that bad but problems that they do that they're used to doing and so i think for a lot of online guys it's kind of uncomfortable i remember when i started playing live it's actually kind of funny because when i first played live i was a kid and i was playing for 100 bucks or whatever and then i went years of not basically and then by the time i was playing live again i was playing really high stakes stuff so you know 10k tournaments 100k tournaments i played a million dollar tournament all kinds of stuff right uh and so i didn't get many to get to play much in

the middle there i mainly went from playing small six live to playing the higher stakes stuff and for me i just got into a good rhythm where i would just thank you okay i know i'm gonna beat these people so i just need to make sure i don't give up tells i don't need to be worried about what they're doing fuck them i'm gonna beat them so i don't care what they're doing i'm gonna focus on and what i do is i found when i'm in a big situation and there's videos of me doing this online for sure basically when i'm in a big situation i'll stare at a card on the board usually the middle card and i'll just stare at it and let's say i'm running a huge bluff and i'm just locked in and then they're like asking me questions

or they're looking at me or they're staring me down or they're next to me and i'm just thinking that's a really nice looking ace of spades and i'm just and i just zone out i'm not even involved in the hand anymore i'm just looking at that ace of spades and i almost even forget what i have sometimes because i'm just in this zone where i'm just not even not even and i do that when i have a good hand or a bad hand because i don't want there to be any difference in the way that it looks so you never know what i have because i'm just doing the exact same thing basically have you ever seen the hand where tom duan is running like i don't know 150 000 bluff into like i don't know maybe a 400 000 pot or something like that first phil ivy i think right yeah and he's just he's when when phil finally folds he's just like oh oh my

eyes and and i think i don't know who it was um maybe elliot lazaro was like what's wrong with your eyes and he's just like i was just the light was bouncing off that card i was just staring at that one card i think the light was coming off it just right i don't know he's been he's been staring at that card trying to flinch while what most people consider to be the greatest poker player of all time stares him down with like almost a half a million dollars in the pot or something like that he's just i've gotten the phil ivy stare down as well stare down i want to say i'm intimidated and i'm at home it's classic that that that just ah yeah i i love watching i love watching uh poker online uh i watch a ton of like poker content on

youtube there's there's been like an influx of a couple of youtube channels seems to have bought like a bunch of the old content and they're just uh and they're rolling it out so that's fun to watch there's some drama with that stuff too a little bit i bet um no ivy's staring like it looks like he's disappointed in you a little bit yeah and i like that wait is that hold on is that... Hold on. Is that... Oh, no. That background looks familiar to a hand I played versus him. Is that Phil Ivey? Yes. Staring at someone. It's actually a better stare than you thought.

As you guys were telling the story, I'm dumbassingly think I wouldn't be concerned. But no, that's a pretty good stare. He gives that look a lot. That look with the mouth open. That thing. That's kind of like a what are you stupid kind of yeah right he'd make me second guess myself this guy's got good good emotes

like Phil what should I do you're a professional poker player you look like you've been here before is there anybody who's known for like being super gregarious they're always talking they're always like as a tactic trying to disrupt other people's mojo or a lot chats a lot because there there used to be guys that would do that a little more often um but it's just so annoying uh that would be good for them though to annoy you and be good for them

there's a few problems but wouldn't it be good to get on tv i guess it's not as big a thing as it was 10 years ago or whatever but like if espPN would definitely pick up a guy who was a level worse at poker, but better at talking. Basically, I think that people that came along in poker in the last 10 years have really gotten screwed because Black Friday happened, which is essentially the US government enforced that you can't serve US customers in online poker. And basically, all of the companies had to withdraw from the market. And big personalities in the u.s that have followings like myself and like a bunch of other people in the u.s didn't really end up having great ways to to capitalize on it like they did before where they could represent those companies what i did was start a training site which was good my training site upswingpoker.com what is it again slower upswingpoker.com thanks it's a great great place

to learn poker i'd recommend checking it out anyway so so anyway so uh i made a training site and we're actually the biggest training site at least to my knowledge i haven't checked the data lately but we're we're a great place to learn poker it's a course format uh people really enjoy it our members are actually i just uploaded a lesson that i did i had a recent challenge for stan on the ground i'm not sure if you guys heard about this but basically uh i played a big heads up challenge and i just did a some videos going through and talking about my strategies and some hands i played and all that kind of stuff um can i just say i really like that you guys were like chill with each other like when you actually

played i think a lot of people wanted to see you guys like bicker and go back and forth because there had been so much animosity leading up to it. But it was really refreshing and cool to see you guys just be professional with one another and joke around even a little bit and have a little bit of fun and play that thing out. I watched all the hands that were live. Okay, cool. I didn't go too much to the online stuff there's a lot of hands yeah a lot of people were upset though they i wanted blood i wanted more it's kind of weird when you're in a room with someone and it's just you and them and a dealer and obviously there's a lot of people watching online but what are you just gonna shit

talk and then just get dealt the next hand it It's kind of weird. It's a weird atmosphere. Canook. Yeah, you just can't really do that. And then also there was a bit of he decided to play me in my game, the game I was really good at. So I just kind of had to show up and win. I mean, if I had lost that, it would have been a real hit on my career. I would be a real blemish to have lost to someone that you were supposed to beat in a game that you're supposed to be one of the best at.

And I was the best at the world for a few years there. To have lost to him in that format would have been devastating. So I kind of felt a lot of pressure, too. And I also had side bets and money on the line. I mean, there was a lot of pressure. There wasn't enough money at stake already. also had side bets and and money on the line i mean it was you know it was there was a lot of pressure wasn't enough money at stake already you play side bets now here's the question did you buy any insurance i don't have insurance okay let me tell you this kyle the reason that companies offer you insurance is because they're giving you back less money than you're giving them that's their business you give them money they give you back less money yeah don't

buy insurance if you have to a little bit right don't buy insurance unless you absolutely have to i didn't know you could oh i haven't had car insurance for years oh i don't i don't even think that there's insurance in poker really but i just in general i'm in life that's how i feel about warranties you know like hey you buy your new whatever dvd player would you like pay 50 and we'll replace it free if something goes wrong you wouldn't do it if it was a good deal yeah exactly it's exactly confidence in their dvd but but sometimes the situation is that the algorithm works out such that you want even if it breaks you probably won't bring it back to us we're counting on the fact that you want because when I sold cars, that's what that permaplate nonsense was. We didn't put permaplate

on cars, but permaplate came with a warranty that said, if you find a way to stain the interior of your vehicle, we will get the stain out. If we cannot, we will reupholster. If we can't, we'll get you a new factory seat. So we're on the hook for potentially thousands of dollars. If your kid gets the lipstick out and just goes to drawing on the roof of your car, or like someone just actually spills a bucket of paint in your front seat of a truck, you know, like you've seen, maybe there'll be buckets of paint in the back. You're going to do a collision. The paint all slides forward. It paints the interior of the car. We would have been on the hook for an entire interior of a vehicle. If you had paid that $600 up front. It's a hell of a

warranty if you've got messy kids or anything, but no one in the years that I sold cars ever came back and said, hey, managed to stay in the car. Remember that permaplate thing I bought? Never happened. Never happened once, but so many people would plunk down $600. We fell prey to a similar thing with furniture furniture you know you buy a couch and they're like hey if you have kids or dogs and i've got a lot of both of those then you know you should buy this this furniture protection scam and and if anything if you manage to put a stain on it then you'll be in great shape and then you go to cash in on the scam and they're like okay do you have your original receipt from three years ago and it's like no but like i bought it there i

promise i've got like the credit card thing i could real look at so finally we go we have all our ducks in a row like every correspondence on this thing every we have all our receipts and and we're like look at this couch and we like take a picture of it it's all like falling down droopy and looking terrible prematurely because we're murdering our furniture and they're like all right all right you know and they don't want to do it but we have everything they have no excuses not to service us we like mail them these slip covers they throw them in the wash send them back no different than i would have done with my fucking regular like residential grade commercial front loading washer and they're like pilly and it they weren't really prepared to make

good on their warranty they just did what a homeowner would do and wash slip covers and send them back and yep i never ever buy that nonsense on your furniture it's a you lose 100 of the time the only exception maybe maybe like if you're buying something that breaks a ton. Back before laptops had SSDs, they had those mechanical spinning magnetic plates. I could see an argument for buying the warranty on that laptop. Because if you're like me and you break them all the time, back before SSDs, then you can make good on that. Or back in the day, cordless phones. This is not the cell phone everyone has now,

but the cordless ones they had in the 90s, those would break and their batteries would wear out instantly. And it might be a good thing to get that warranty on, get a new one every so often. If you think you personally will use it way more than the average person, it could be okay. But outside of that, just don't give them money their whole what they're they're just saying hey can we take your 50 bucks and give you 20 and you're saying yeah i'd love

that that's what you're done it's it's it's just that's that's their business by the way same thing with all insurances they all do that you give them 50 they give you back 20 and they give you a pat in the back you did the right thing son unless it's car insurance at which point you're responsible you the extra 50 every year for the next three years for some reason pretty much yeah when i bought that bike the other day there was all of that like tire and wheel protection and nonsense and i was just like i don't want you to waste your time i don't really want any of this though i've been trying to be super i'm in on the'm in on the scam. As a former employee of a I've run this scam a few times

myself. First of all, you're not hyping it up enough. You've let me interrupt you. What are you doing? Why are you allowing me to do this silly accent right now? Why is Yosemite Sam telling you how to sell your motorcycle? I'm saying that's why Yosemite Sam telling you how to sell your motorcycle?

I'm saying that's why Yosemite Sam has one leg horn. I got my Looney Tunes mixed up on my truck. I shut him down so hard. I was like, look, you can say what you got to say, but there is no chance that I'll buy this. It's inconceivable.

I never buy these things. I pride myself on it. And he's he's like well if you're not going anywhere you might as well get there quickly and he moved on yeah i can win that's a way almost always do just like move along um you know but but i would never move along i would never move along i'd be like you just don't understand kyle what is that in the back right that i'm looking at right now because i just i've just been thinking about this for a little while now and it's starting to get to me it's supposed can you can you explain what i'm looking at so yeah i was uh i was ordering some butt plugs and uh okay

makes sense yeah i was ordering some butt plugs and i already had the medium and i was like i think my lady frank can step up to a large and uh and so i'll get the large yeah yeah and uh and so i was like the medium is like tiny like as far as butt plugs go like i don't know like that big or something like you know manageable manageable and uh i was like the large is probably like you know we've all bought a small medium and a large from like mcdonald's or whatever that's the increment it's a little bigger than the medium but they sent me this colossal motherfucker and and now it's just i i like i i don't know i don't know who this conversation piece now it's a conversation piece now i literally put it there so you'd see it and you'd ask um i don't know it looks like a

goomba from mario brothers or a garden gnome i haven't decided yeah that shit is horrifying it's from the good antonimo bay collection i'm gonna put a smiley face on it um and if i ever meet a young lady that can handle this i'm gonna marry that bitch right away because she's put her she's put her time in she deserves to retire this seems dangerous right and that's what everyone's looking for in a woman is the is that they can handle the extra large butt plug that's yeah yeah yeah it shows absolutely it shows character that's the kind of lady you can trust with you know your passwords and your banking information the kind who can handle the big boy 3000. Imagine how much she could help,

how many drugs she could help you smuggle into a foreign nation. It's kind of what I was thinking. Like this bitch can, this bitch can smuggle some stuff, you know, like forget drugs. Like you could put a whole fucking cell phone in that. All sorts of electronics. You can put all sorts of things in there.

You can go into an electronic store, come out with a laptops. If she can take that, good God. But yeah, now it's just a conversation piece because I don't know any human beings who can handle something like that. Some of my friends in Discord who are gay

told me that not only do they know people who can handle it, but it's not that uncommon to be able to handle a toy of that girth. Switch saw that and he acted as though it wasn't that outrageous yeah and then he showed me like he sent me a picture of one of his friends toy collections and i've got a lot of toys like i got like five or six thousand dollars worth of stuff but he had i don't know maybe a fifteen thousand dollar collection because he had like all those bad dragon toys that are like custommade sex toys. They look like octopus tentacles and horse cocks and all sorts of nonsense.

It's like, oh yeah, this is a dragon dick. And it's like, you probably never put any thought into what a dragon dick is. Unfalsifiable. You never thought about it. Hey, Tolkien never told us what dragon dicks look like. Major details he added.

He left that out. He left it out of his chameleon. Does it look authentic, though? Is it an authentic one? It's got scales. Yeah. Okay. It does.

Google Bad Dragon. I'm not Googling any of this shit. Doug has a bookmark. No Googling on this subject. Go to your bookmarks bar and click it. Yeah. There's also a subreddit for bad dragon toys, and it's just all chicks banging their dragon dicks.

It's good stuff. They're very expensive, though. They're custom made. Zach put a link in here. Yeah, check them out. Check them out. And they give them humanizing names. Like, this is Stan the Dragon's penis.

Yeah, I've got a Rex. Rex. Oh, we've looked at these before. Rex is a dog penis. Yeah, yeah. I've got a rex rex oh we think i've got a rex before rex is a dog penis yeah yeah i got the dog and the horse that's somehow more normal than this i thought so too like flint sheath is somehow both a penis and a vagina oh there's some of them that are like that yeah they're like um like pocket pussy type toys on there that are also made to be like fantasy creatures. So you can like fuck a unicorn pussy. Basically, it's just a dick with a really big pee hole

and you can put yours in the middle. Do they make human penises? And I suppose the right woman could use the outside. There's no human cocks on that website. It's all animals and fantasy creatures. That's their shtick. As you like to say taylor every day we stray further from god's light yes oh a keychain butt plug for when like you want to

commit a crime in public perfect wow yeah that is that is just i learned something today that i i i i don't know if I wanted to learn. Well, honestly, their T-shirts are kind of cool. I think I'm going to buy one. Oh, I've got a bunch of those. It's great when you're wearing them in public and people are like, hey, you're a loser too. Some of these I feel like are more incognito as sex toys than fleshlights, right?

The fleshlight, I assume, originally was supposed to not look like a sex toy when you put the cap on it or something. It was supposed to look like a flashlight. But some of these, like Duke's Muzzle, I guess I could link it if you guys want to see. I don't know if we can show it. But this to me is more like a children's toy than a sex toy. What's the difference? What is this? Well, you can put your dick in the front. What is this? Well, you can put your dick in the front. This is a pocket pussy. It literally looks like a velociraptor's mouth that you're going to fuck. It does. That's not a

very fuckable thing. No, if you look at the side, it surely is. Hold on. You can get custom colors. Yeah, you can do the Mario question mark color. They have a firmness guide like what is that's what i'm talking about with the customization like when you select those they're not a big enough company that they just have a like mario question mark extra firm

velociraptor mouth for you to fuck so they're just like all right we're gonna get you're you're in the queue we're going to create your specific toy you know like you're next in line and it takes like weeks to get a toy from them but they're not falling i mean what you want in a firm it like do you want a soft one if you have a big dick and a firm one if you have a small dick is that reading between the lines i don't know i think you're accurate with that i've never bought any of the fuckable toys but but with toys, I usually go somewhere. You stick to butt plugs. You got to know your area.

Stay in your lane, Kyle. I'm not a loser. You guys are fucking weird. So this one, these are just, it's called a a packer and these seem to be soft and they say wear it under your pants and so you just slip a like if you don't like if you hate your human penis you can slide this horse looking penis on your penis and then wear it around this isn't this shouldn't be legal. It would be kind of fun to have one that just gave you a top 0.1 percentile bulge in your jeans, right?

Just, I don't know what you're working with normally. I think that's a strap-on, Taylor. It says, hey, cowboy. I'm reading their flair text. Hey, cowboy, what's going on under those chaps? It looks to me like you're ready for a rough ride. Looks to me like you're ready for a rough ride with what's in that holster. This could be you.

Show them the real meaning of hung like a horse with our unflared stallion packer. It's long, strong, and ready to help you pony up. By the way, guys, if you're listening to this, I would love for us to have a Bad Dragon sponsorship and be able to do reads like this every week. It's on Twitter. It's at bad underscore dragon.

Do you have trouble forming meaning and lasting relationships with friends? Did you guys know that there is currently a tropical storm headed towards Florida? Oh, really? I did not know. Is that where you're at, Florida? Is that where Bad Dragon is based, right? God damn it.

The whole thing is going to form a vortex of animal pussies and cocks. Oh my God, imagine if you were struck by it. The kink community is devastated in the wake of a T6 hurricane destroying the bad dragon stockpile.

The census shows that the U.S. is diversifying. Diversifying into different kinds of penis in their ass. You brought us here. Bill Gates. Yeah, you literally asked about the butt plug, Doug. You share us here. Bill Gates. You literally asked about the butt plug, Doug. You share some

responses. I honestly thought this was going was going to be something else. He's like, dude, this is a chess piece. He's going to turn the and I'm like, oh, it's a pawn. That makes sense. He's like, this is a giant butt plug. And here's other options. You thought

you were going to like, I don know maybe he'd be unaware or something look like a butt plug i thought it was gonna be something else every guest that we have i'm i'm always i'm like notice it it's like that scene from fucking uh bram stoker's dracula when gary oldman is like see me to winona rider i'm just like i'm just willing you to notice the fucking giant ass plug behind me um yeah it's nonsense i wanted to know um what you thought about the high stakes poker duel thing that's going on and if you have any interest or you would have any interest in like uh and like playing that or if that's not your format well i i might play it if it was i could just go play one but i think the format is if you win they can challenge you. And I'm in Texas, so I'd have to go back and fly out

every time there was a match. And I don't want to end up having to fly back and forth a bunch of times to play this, basically. So Phil Hellmuth, for Woody's benefit, he's won more World Series of Poker Championships bracelets than anyone ever. 15, I think now? Which is an ungodly amount.

He plays a lot. They do many, many every year.godly amount. He plays a lot. They do many, many every year. Um, that helps. He competes a lot, um, which also helps,

but still he's gotten there 15 fucking times. A lot of them happened in the early days of poker. We had to beat out, you know, like a hundred, 400 people like the Yankees when they won in the twenties. It's not like he's beating out six other teams and they were carpenters during the day. Yeah.

But, but you can't take them away from him cause you know, keeps them in a vault somewhere i'm sure um and uh any anyway i like phil he's fun he's he's one of those poker players uh he's known for exploding and getting really upset at the poker table and and being really forward about how everyone is worse than him and that the cards have just allowed a lesser player to get get one over on him but just wait just wait it's coming it's coming this is the personality i'm going to adopt if i play with the patriots and me and meanwhile i watched like three hands in a row with him and daniel and and daniel like got the best of him three times in a row uh some of some

of the times he had the better hand some of the times he didn't and he was just he just he's owned phil three hands in a row and phil's just fucking steaming you know what's funny about phil is that it's 100 authentic and not an act i love to hear that thank you because he explodes and he'll just get super tilted and he'll yell and he'll get upset and and he'll think he should win every time in fact his famous saying is if it wasn't for luck i'd win every time or something like that. Then you see him not on TV and he's just acting the same way.

He's just the same guy. Thank you so much for telling me that. He just can't control it. He just has to win. It sounds like a guy I'd rather have on my TV than in my life. He seems like a real lovable guy in real life like like

um he's got he's got a great physique woody um i've seen his shirtless pictures um he looks his name i gotta google his physique yeah google phil helmuth shirtless um that that's good put your sunglasses on bright naked um and uh i wanted to ask about tony g and since we're on that topic i wanted to ask is tony g that big of a scumbag in real life because like i've seen him just really be all an awful human being i haven't actually met him too often i don't think they were played with tony g but i met him a couple times but nothing nothing extensive so i i don't i wouldn't want to say yeah yeah i don't know enough about him but phil i i have a i have a good phil story so uh we were playing at a game in i don't know philly or pittsburgh or wherever we were at

there was some tv game we both went to it and we ended up sharing a cab to go back to the hotel and we're in the cab and i could tell he's gonna ask me something important you know there's a bit of a intensity to it and he looks at me and goes doug how many bracelets do you think you're gonna win right because that's his whole thing is how many races can i win and i i've won three but i've not played many events and i stopped playing them because i don't i don't enjoy playing them basically and i was just like phil man i don't know i don't know what you want me to say i i'm not even as many as i can man he's just like you know not that's that's what's important you know it's about

the bracelet that's good keep keep it yeah i think you could do great you know one day you should have been a bigger asshole you should have said what do you have 15 16 16 yeah oh one more than i just want you to know phil because he's about 20 or 30 years older than me one day when you're gone i'm gonna beat your bracelet record it's never gonna last and then they'll only remember me how about that i like it oh that'd be so great i'm gonna go right from there to do it phil i don't care i'll play deuce to seven draw i don't care like i mean a six foot seven guy who's that intense might be a bad move

phil is actually i'm not that concerned six foot seven guy who's that intense might be a bad move phil is actually i'm not that concerned six foot seven he's got that reach that is a lot of man he's really tall uh he's actually coming on my on my podcast next week so i'm gonna chat with him so everybody can check it out just my name doug polk podcast doug polk podcast um i've been firing it up i did it a few years ago for a little bit it was kind of focused on cryptocurrency stuff and i relaunched it and now we're doing more a little years ago for a little bit. It was kind of focused on cryptocurrency stuff and I relaunched it and now we're doing more a little bit of poker, a little bit of cryptocurrency, just kind of whatever, you know.

A little pump and dump. Well, we only pump. We don't dump. Strict rules on that. Just pump. Just pump. Are you going to integrate a little more dildo discussion in your podcast now that you know after after seeing this today no double down on being wrong okay okay i gotta get off this website this is weird as shit taylor taylor where are you based out of st louis and those okay yeah What's in St. Louis other than not the Rams?

Crime. An enormous amount of crime. But that's the actual city. I don't live in the city. They have the arch. That's how you know where the crime is. It's directly over it. Is that true? Well, no.

It's called the beacon of crime. I mean, it's in the middle of where a lot of crime is where downtown we googled one time it's across the river yeah like apparently there was like a couple of hammer murderers near uh taylor like you know people being murdered with hammers like separate incidents and i was just like how is that possible and i if you Google these terms, St. Louis, hammer, murder, you get so many hits. It's absurd. It's like a pastime there. I lived there in the city, and I was not near this area of the city.

But it was like, yeah, the story that came up, it was like, homeless man breaks into abandoned building, murders five other homeless men with a hammer. No motive. And it's like, yeah. So yeah, hammer attacks, that's what's here. Stop. Hammer time. Yeah. That was the last thing

five gentlemen heard. He had the parachute pants on when he did it. He did the dance. It was very entertaining and terrifying at the same time. But yeah, St. Louis seems to be – why don't you leave? Would you leave if – how about this? Like our friend Filthy, he works online. So when his girlfriend moved to another state for her career,

he was just like, oh, yeah, I'm picking up. I'm moving with my lady. She's got a job opportunity. If you were in the same scenario, Taylor, if your ex-fiance were to say, hey Taylor, I've got this big job down in Atlanta or just name a state. Sure.

Would you pick up and move for her, do you think? It depends on the timeline like the the way it works right now right now no probably not just because it's uh though like my my grandparents live in southern Missouri and so and my brothers live in in Kansas City and so like my house works as kind of a you know my my grandparents don't like traveling out of their little neck of the woods down there. And so it works as like a nice little intermediary thing. When my grandparents die, it was I would have nothing else keeping me here, really.

Because like my dad lives in Florida. Family's important. For the most part now, my brothers are in Kansas City or Chicago. You know, my mom's dead. Like there's nobody else here. And so like, yeah, I could totally see myself leaving. I would want to go somewhere with incredible weather. I've said before, Florida would be near the top of my list.

I want that year round warmth. That would be done. And so maybe Florida, something like that. You move to Florida. I'll move to Florida. Warm and no state income tax. Those are the two important things.

I think. Yeah. Florida, Texas, Nevada, Tennessee. I'd want to go somewhere where there was still a hockey team and so tampa would make sense in that area because i uh vegas would be cool i can't do the nosebleeds like i considered like i'm moving uh obviously because for weed i'm moving for weed um and so like vegas vegas was on the list and the real estate they're

super cheap like like it's it's super cheap although it's it's gotten way more i just sold my house in vegas a few months ago and it was you get outside the city a little bit like like in one of those cookie cutter fucking deals like 400 000 buys a lot there um and but like man every time i've gone to vegas i get nosebleeds from that dry desert air like i'll get in the shower that night like it's not one of those days where i just start bleeding but like every time i get in the shower like blow my nose in the shower it's like oh god oh what happened here it's just a massacre and uh i don't know man i i do like to play poker and i prefer live poker for sure uh like sometimes when we play uh in our in our discord games we'll turn our cameras on which is kind of an interesting vibe but um i don't know

if i could live in vegas man it's it's the debauchery if you want to play poker i'd recommend somewhere else then maybe texas or florida whatever vegas has vegas has the worst games for lower stakes stuff because everyone there is trying to be a pro you don't want guys don't you want guys that are gambling drinking and gambling that's what you went to cherokee that's what it was there was like old retirees and like lots of like guys who were just killing a little time and uh it was a fun game it really was i didn't i felt like i played very well and my friend who plays professionally he was like he made all the right decisions you just you just caught some bad cards or whatever um but, but like the, there were some

characters at the table. It was really fun. And there always are at a live game, uh, which I really enjoy. There was an old, there was a V um, no world war two veteran who's like, like literally trembling hands. And he was just like so decrepit. And instead of just saying all in and taking the all in ship and tossing it in, he would shove his stack every time. That's great. And like, I don't know, it was a stack of $600 or something. But so much of it is like ones and fives because we're just playing one, two. That like now he has to shake.

Nobody's calling. Nobody's calling your $600 raise, dude. There was $20 in the pot. So now he has to all shakily like collect his chips and the dealer's just like like like she's trying to get as many hands out but you can't say anything you can't say anything because the world is so free to be able to not be germany you know yeah world war ii world war ii better right yeah yeah so he would he was playing so like recklessly i think he was drunk maybe like like you know the dealer will be will

arrange they'll pull both players cards and be like and uh player one has flush to the king and player two and she'd look at his cards and she'd go jack high seems to be asleep we're dead this guy this guy is an absolute legend okay yeah that's what the dealer said he fought nazis and then 70 75 80 years later is getting drunk and playing poker that's i mean i didn't like the game being slow But I did enjoy him at the table And after he lost all of his money We had switched to a male dealer And he was like He comes in here two or three times a week

Sometimes he leaves with so many chips Somebody's got to help him carry them And I'm just like oh that's good for him Not tonight though And then I think We'd watch one guy get busted like Twice in a row and then go get more.

And he busted for the third time. This guy was like 45 years old. And it seemed like losing $600 or $800 was a big deal to him, which you shouldn't be sitting at that table if that's the case. And he lost – it was kind of a rough time. Like I think he had the best hand on the flop, but maybe like the other guy turned his flush or whatever and this guy was like fuck and you're you can curse at the table the rules there you can curse all you want but you can't curse at someone i can't call you a

motherfucker or something like that yeah and uh and he's like fuck fucking, fucking fuck. And Dirty, my friend Daryl, laughs at it. And the dude just goes, you little cocksucker. And again, it was like that time when I was with Snow in the Yard. I'm looking at Dirty like, you know I don't have your back here, right? You could have. Oh, come on. No one touches Dirty when he's behind you. That should be a rule.

I can't be getting into fights in other states on probation. Yeah, I didn't think that through. After he left, I was like, you know I don't have your back, right? That's not a thing. I thought you just didn't have Snow's back, but it seems like there's a lot of guys you don't have their back.

If I'm on probation, I got nobody's back. I don't even have my own back. I'm running from everything. I don't, I'm not trying to get, I'm, I don't want them to extend this probation a fucking day. I've been mining my P's and Q's like no other.

I don't even drive very much because I'm afraid of speeding tickets. I bought a motorcycle a month or so ago. Like I don't speed on it. The bike could go 130, 140. I'm going 55. I'm just cruising on a crotch rocket ago. I don't speed on it. The bike could go 130, 140. I'm going 55. I'm just cruising on a crotch rocket. I'm just trying so hard not to get in trouble. I just want to get free.

My favorite Kyle prison story is the way that he used his social talents to do well in the federal pen. He would read Harry Potter. Now, Kyle can tell a story, right? Many times, Kyle has told me to watch some show

and then gives me like a preview of what is going to happen. Oh, this guy does this, and then he does that. And then I watch the actual show, and it is not as good. It's like, ah, fuck, Kyle's telling of it was better than this Hollywood version. So he would read Harry Potter and then tell it to Snow to ingratiate himself to him and get a protector, get a bodyguard. I was like, yeah, it's pretty cool, man.

It's this little wizard kid. All of his life, he's been downtrodden. He's living under the fucking stairs. He's got an abusive uncle, abusive aunt. They treat him like shit, but he finds out he's a wizard. And not his wizard. Yeah, man, he's a wizard. Yeah, I know

why that is. Yeah. He's like, yo, you think I could start on book one? And I'm like, yeah, man, I got the whole set over here. I gave him... Why doesn't Harry just use his magic to kill his evil family members? He got any wizard

drugs he could traffic? They could make some hot shit you know in this lineup I think I'm pretty glad that it was Kyle that went to prison because I think the rest of us would have done a decent amount worse in that situation I mean

I don't know I know I would be terrible and Taylor you don't strike me as the prison guy just have to... Taylor's a big dude. Three weeks in, I'd give excellent blowjobs. Nice. And there were guys in there that looked just like Woody. They were like accountants.

There were guys in there who were in there for like... Random Woody shot. I used to be an accountant. Woody used to be an accountant. Oh, wow. I feel like they were guys into a corner and like do a voice when i first got in like yeah man and it's like oh no this is my flavor now those guys kind of hang together right like like if you're like a fucking

cholo gangbanger you probably hot you hang with the other cholo gangbangers if you're a black guy you hang with the black guys and you're on laundry detail. Cause like that's their racket. They run the laundry detail and they charge you like cash under the table to get extra blankets and shit. And, uh, but the, the white dudes who were like, not like there's the, the real criminal white guys who were like bank robbery, fraud or, um, drugs. And, or, and then there's like the accountants who got caught with like fraud or

there was some tax evaders um there was a guy who ran some kind of a some sort of like it was like he ran like that scam from office space where he was like defrauding his company parts of a penny of every transaction yeah he was literally very much like that and those guys hung together too and so like there was two of these guys and uh one of them was indian um and uh you know from india not the feathers dots not feathers and he said he was um he also was an artist like like he liked to draw portraits and to kill his time in there he had less than a year i don't remember exactly how much but he if you had a photograph of a loved one he would draw it it like, like not a caricature. He would very accurately like recreate it with a, with like a, like, like pen and paper

or whatever, a pencil. He had like art, art pencils. And my friend Snow had a picture of his grandson. And by the way, Snow started his, started having kids at 13. So he's not that old of a guy to have a grandson. So he, he's like, he he's like and we're out walking he's like yo i gave indio a picture of my grand baby to draw i was like oh yeah that's pretty that's pretty cool man you do a good job yeah but it's a problem he signed it i was like oh yeah i i think he just like signs him so like you know like he's the artist. Right.

You know, you like sign them in the corners like you signed it on my grandbaby, though. And I'm like, what's this? Yo, it looks like you tattooed my grandbaby. My grandbaby ain't got no tattoos. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't I don't think you meant anything by it, man. You know, and he and then he asked if if he could keep a copy. You know, he did, too. And I And I was like, why you want to keep a copy, a picture of my grandbaby? I think he's a chomo. Chomo's a child molester. And so Snow has been in like maximum and then medium security prisons where people get murdered over like potato chips.

And in there, the chomos have their own unit. And obviously they can't get child pornography but what they can get are like the advertisements from newspapers that have like huggies diapers and like like like you know pictures of kids in them like like wearing shorts or whatever this is dark shit yeah this is getting dark so he's been exposed to that so all of a sudden he has another inmate who wants to keep a picture of his grandson and he and i'm trying to explain to him that like no man he keeps copies of all of them he has that paper that does that like duplicates so that like he keeps all of the the stuff he's

done like like that's like his uh his resume you know and he's like i'm gonna have to talk to him about this and like i don't know what he said to that guy. But the next day, like I was with Snow and the Indian guy was like walking by on the track. He's like, yo, Indio. And the Indian guy turned around like, yes, Mr. Snow. He's like, what's up? He must have scared the fucking shit out of him about pictures of his grandbaby. And I guarantee Indio does not have a picture of snow's grandson to this

day. He gave that up. He gave that up. I guarantee it. Yeah. Good for Indio. It was dark. It was dark in there and it didn't always go smooth.

I got screamed at a couple of times. It was, um, it was over the television. What was their scariest moment in prison? I've told it a bunch of times so i'll be quick about it but um i had made friends with a guy by promising to give him my my radio after i left uh you need a radio to watch tv you tune it to a certain station and it'll like give you the audio for the televisions

because they don't let just play audio it's a way of like squeezing a little money out of the the the prisoners and also you got a room full of tvs if they're all playing it's nonsense and uh this guy's radio was broken so i was like like, Hey man, I'm out in 60 days. I see your radio's busted. Got a brand new one here. I got no use for an AM FM radio with headphones on the outside. It's yours. How about that? And he's like super happy with it. He's just like always trying to do me favors now and like hook me up with stuff. And he comes by myself when I'm reading, I'm like three weeks in two weeks and something like that. I'm just starting to get settled in and feel comfortable. He warns me that someone's thinking about raping me.

He's like, there's a guy over there. He says he wants to get with you. I'm just like, I don't want to get with anybody, man. He's like, I don't know if he's going to take that. Watch your ass and it was just like fuck fuck so now i'm just terrified all the time that's scary uh i was really scared about that for a long time so i would only shower uh when snow was showering uh because so we'd work out together so we'd both get sweaty and then i so that that made it not weird that i was only showering with this 40 year old man like and like like the showers are private we're not like like rubbing elbows or anything we're in

little separate stalls but i want him present if i'm naked uh in the bathroom and so i made that that's smart that was a good move and um and then uh there was an argument over the televisions with a large black man one morning um he he the tvs are divided by race and i had the white tv on everybody loves raymond and apparently he as you should yeah he's like we watch the news in the morning and i'm just like i want to be like this is the cracker tv brother but instead but instead like like i don't know i tried to save as much space as i could but but still at the same time changing the channel to nbc um so i did that you didn't try and like play him like you're right we're missing the news oh shit the news is on the local alabama news

yeah this guy shouldn't have been dictating the white tv though he shouldn't have but um i wasn't going to stand up for the cracker TV because I was, I was fairly new. Um, and I just wanted to get the fuck out. And, uh, there was another thing, but I'm spacing out. Oh, um, that one white guy had gotten robbed. And, uh, and so, um, I was worried that they were going to steal my shit on my locker. Cause I didn't have a lock on it yet. Cause I had like some decent shit as far as the prisoners commissary goes. And, uh, but what I was really afraid of was there was a shakedown coming um like the next day and we would always know a day before that's when they like pull everybody's shit out and search

your shit for drugs effective shakedown but carry on very much we always knew the shakedown was coming and um and so like someone warned me that somebody might hide their drugs in my locker, either to just use it as a hiding place or to frame me. And so now I got to watch this locker like an eagle. And every time I go take a piss, I got to come back and go through all of my shit to look for drugs to make sure nobody's hidden in there. And Snow came through big again. My Mexican cellmate in Spanish, so that nobody else would know, told Snow what my problem was,

that I was afraid somebody was going to, quote unquote, get me dirty by putting some drugs in my locker. And he was like, oh. And he went and got me a lock, wrote the combination on a little piece of paper, gave it to me, and then I was able to lock my shit up and I was able to leave it unattended now. Yeah, cool guy. Great guy.

Murderer and drug trafficker. Outside of that, though, lots of positives, too. Hey, he didn't kill anybody I knew. He was a fucking sick dude, as far as I'm concerned. You know, those guys that he took out were fucking gangsters as well in the wrong territory the way I hear it.

You weren't one to question. You weren't one to question. And that's a liar. Or a chomo. And anybody says he's a liar is getting chanked. But yeah, those are the scarier times. Mostly it was just boring and obnoxious and just upsetting. Just no fun. What do you call it?

What do you type three fun? Oh, Jesus. It was rough, man. It was no fun. But it wasn't the worst thing ever. It wasn't fucking Shawshank Redemption or anything like that. It was type 2 fun, man. I feel like you're digging it in hindsight. What are the types on fun?

I'm taking a piss. The piss is coming out. Oh, it's not my fault. Alright, alright. Type 1 fun is just fun. Alright, this episode of PKA is brought to you by Smart Mouth. Everybody hates talking to someone with bad breath. That humid, awful smell keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave. Now think of all the times

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to play online poker if it's not allowed in your district. Yep. Just don't tell anyone about it. So, you know, or promote it on some podcast. Who knows? Don't do that either no that that's i was i was very careful about the way i play poker lately we made sure that it was going to be legal for us to fucking that's very good around in my discord the cool thing is like

the more i talk about on here the more that like people who actually kind of play for a living will drop in there guys that are normally playing like fucking 12 tables at a time online or whatever it like varied stakes like but are coming in there and just playing our one game and it gets very fucking annoying it's very fucking annoying because at first you just password protect this somehow or something oh we can but it wouldn't be polite like we're in a private game like no they they pay the money to like get into the game into the into the discord so now the discord. So now like, I can't be like,

no, you can't play. You're too good. You know, that'd be pretty shitty. So this is, this is one of the worst parts about poker, by the way, this dance.

And it's why a lot of really high stakes games, they're just constantly, there's so many pros and the pros are always trying to get other pros and I get to play. And then there are fish. They're the weak players, the the recreational players and they care less but then they want to make sure that it's not too many pros and then this whole dance i basically just said i'm not going to be a part of it i didn't be involved in private games at all i played almost no private games

in my entire life basically all my poker i've played has been either online or on tv games or tournaments or stuff like that no yeah it's weird i never played a lot online um i just really enjoy live games so like um from the time i was like 21 to like 25 i i played several nights a week at like one two and two five and just kind of like earned a living doing that um playing all in live games at like vfws and and bars and stuff like that. And not, not rough games by any measure. Like, like there was maybe two fights.

There'd be a few threats here and there. You, you earned a living playing poker. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty sick. We would, me and my dad both.

No, he didn't earn a living doing it here. Well, he earned a living doing it, but, but that, that's not his job or anything, but he would,

I probably shouldn't say how much money he makes a year playing poker but um a lot um that's great uh just just because the one two games like they you can't tell a group of guys who are sitting around a table with lots of money this but like it's like hey guys you can't sit there with 10 000 big blinds like like this is nonsense what we're doing right now if you have ten thousand dollars we gotta raise the stakes we can't play one two like like you're making it 50 to go every hand anyway like why don't we just fucking play 25 50 that's what we're gonna fucking do you maniacs that's a silly game because then the correct thing you're supposed to do is just wait for the nuts it's kind of silly game kind of what i tried to do and it got it was good

in that game and they would play way too many people at a table um it it was the beginning of the night would be incredibly wild and the end of the night would be incredibly tight usually it would kind of go like that that's opposite almost every other game starts off the opposite way game starts everyone's okay i'm gonna play my a game today i'm gonna drink some water i'm gonna be focused maybe i'll have a coffee six hours later someone's stuck six thousand dollars people are taking shots some guy is really into the whiskey some guy's out smoking a cigar trying to take away the pain of the losses that he's just taken and then the last few soldiers are trying to win back what they lost by gambling as hard as they possibly can into the wee hours of the morning

that's normal. That's what, that's a standard game. There'd be like, they'd sit way too many people at the table. There might be a dozen. And oh, dude,

that's, that's outrageous. I'm aware it is. Nine, nine is standard max, but it's too many. I think eight max is best. 10 is 10 is I've seen 10, but that's not good.

I prefer my six. Like, like I really enjoy six. Like, like I can kind of keep, I can keep track of things so well at six like like i really enjoy six like i can kind of i can keep track of things so well at six but in any case like five of them would bust out and lose whatever they brought for the night like so quickly like it just be gone like they'd rebuy rebuy rebuy maybe borrow some money there was so much borrowing of enormous like like i'm telling you for a one-two game this thing was outrageous like guys would lose their vehicles guys would show up with like i mean you've been you've been in truly high stakes games so this is it i i understand that but like guys would show up

with fifty thousand dollars to play two five and it was just like what are what are we doing here what's two five i don't know smalls $2, big blinds $5. It's basically before the hands are dealt, some money has to be in the middle to fight for basically or else you would just wait for aces. There's two blinds that get put in.

You get it before your hand so you're blind when you put it in and they rotate around the table. Everyone's going to have to put blinds in basically and it's what gets the action going. And what Kyle is saying is that when you have a lot of money, you need blinds that are big. Because if they're really small, you can just wait for really good hands and hope that someone gets out of line basically. It's not a good game type. You want the blinds to – you want to have about 1 to 200 blinds is usually a good amount to play poker.

So if the big one was 10 you'd want to have about a thousand to two thousand dollars sometimes it could be more like three thousand or whatever but you don't want to have the blinds 10 you don't want to have a million dollars because then it's someone raises to 30 what are you going to do make it a thousand then they can only play aces and they're fine so it's it's it gets it ruins the game basically it ruins the game It was a very silly game. But there were multiple games. What was the story where someone lost their vehicle?

That's insane. One of the guys owned a car dealership, and the guy wanted more money. He wanted to borrow money, and the guy was like, I'm not loaning you any more money. And he's like, well, I've got my truck out there. What's it worth?

And he got on his phone and was like, it's whatever it was worth. And he's like, all right got my truck out there what's it worth and uh he like got on his phone and was like it's you know whatever it was worth and he's like all right i'll take that much in lieu of the truck or you know with the truck on the line he lost all that money and so he lost the truck did you at least give him the option to use the butt plug afterwards if he if he you know just something to take the edge off get fucked we could have done it a different way uh he came there to get fucked that night uh clearly like like there were some and then uh i wanted to get fucked, we could have done it a different way. He came there to get fucked that night, clearly. I wanted to ask you this. Have you ever seen anyone get caught actively cheating? I know there's been some controversies about maybe some people with some cell phones maybe below the table. That guy was definitely cheating.

That guy was 100% fucking cheating. Fuck that guy. But the closest thing to cheating there was a guy who was holding a card and in one of our games um holding a card what do you mean he had a he had a card he had pulled he had pulled an ace out and he was he was like palming it and he was just like you know he'd mix it back into his hand at at random whenever he needed to like he's he's holding one ace he's waiting on another and it also also now if he's if he doesn't throw it into his hand and like i don't know he's got a pair of kings he knows that there's only three aces in play right like it's it if he's got a king high flush

you know and he's got the ace of diamonds he knows that king high flush is a nuts now like he was being real that guy fucking card if you get caught with that you should be banned from every game anywhere anyone knows the guy he should be banned all of his money with that you should be banned from every game anywhere anyone knows the guy he should be banned all of his money on the table should be that's what happens attributed back to whoever i mean that's that's that's just you just get your ass barred from games because that's that's just straight yeah he almost took a beating but he did get banned from every game because it was a everybody knew everybody that played like whether you're at the vfw playing or at um one of two bars playing or if you're at one of three house games like it was the same basic group of people plus or minus three or four guys who were like who would like

come in from like out of town or whatever but everybody knew everybody and then there was a wider web beyond that right and everybody let everybody know that like mr he was a i think it was korean they were like mr tran is a fucking cheater he holds cards we caught him with a fucking ace we took all of his money we banned him from the game and he barely left without an ass beating it when it comes to people getting ass beatings for that stuff i mean i'm not going to be the guy to protect them um but it's usually good to not resort to physical violence but then again you're stealing people's money by acting like you're not to their face and you're stealing their money i don't know man sometimes if if sometimes the world works itself out a little bit dude that i mean that's one of those things

that would warrant it yeah um he was not a likable guy to begin with. It wasn't like one of our favorite, one of our good buddies, what turned out to be a cheater. We didn't really like this guy to begin with. He was real, I don't know. He didn't speak super great English, and so he just didn't speak very much. And he was not a good winner, and he was not a good loser.

And so when he was banned from the games, nobody wept. But fuck that guy. Yeah, that's the only time I've ever seen anything like that, even close to that. That's like in Rounders. Where they're dealing off the bottom of the deck or whatever. Yeah, Ed Norton. They did, and they did get an ass beating in that one.

They took a real ass beating in that one. Yeah, yeah, They got stomped. They were playing with like firemen and cops or something like that. It's not good. At least they weren't trying to save the kids. That's true. That's true. Yeah, it's, I mean, you know, there's a lot of money at stake and everybody's already doing stuff.

So slow on the save the kids reference. I came in 20 seconds later with that smile. And I don't think any games, like there was talk of a game that did get robbed once, but I never saw anything remotely like that. There was always a little bit of concern because, you know, it'd be like,

Hey man, there's, there's an awful lot of money in that silver box over there next to Bob every night. Like somebody might lose a bunch and then go home and tell their cousin eddie that there's 180 000 sitting in a silver box over the vfw tonight and there's a bunch of guys who probably can't go to the police about it if it were to go missing and like so that was a little bit of a concern too but nothing like that ever happened i imagine there's a lot of guns in that

room too i certainly didn't have one of them, but I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, I know one guy always carried a little pistol because this happened to him. He was the ugliest motherfucker. And he worked as a bartender to make a little extra money to play poker. So he'd bartend all night and he'd earn enough to get his buy-in or whatever. He'd sit over there and then lose it back to us. But he was just so ugly. I can't begin to tell you.

And the story was that he hooked up with this woman. They went to the motel that was nearby, had sex. And then he went over to the little dinette table in the corner and he was going to smoke a cigarette. And he had this pistol. The girl got going to smoke a cigarette. And, um, he had, uh, he had a piss. Oh, he had this pistol. I, the girl got up to smoke a cigarette and I want to get the story right. The girl got up, smoke a cigarette, wherever the dinette table. And, um, she had one of those little lighters that looks like a pistol, you know, a little gun. Well, he had a little pistol and she got the two mixed up. So she goes to light her cigarette and she does that

thing where you like cover, like cup your hand as to light her cigarette, and she does that thing where you, like, cup your hand as you light a cigarette, which isn't needed indoors, but it's kind of like if you're a smoker, you kind of get used to doing it. It's a habit. And she shot herself through the fucking hand with, like, a.25 automatic pistol. And the joke that ran forever. And every time it got told, we'd laugh our asses off. They're like, what happened? Well, she sobered up, looked over and saw'd fuck roger and tried to end it all she blew a hole right through her fucking hand

by the way i can i can only imagine how ugly this guy is because in every prison story that you just told us there was not one reference of how ugly anyone was and i know there were some ugly ass motherfuckers in the end prison right i was this is the guy story by mentioning he was ugly three times and i was wondering i'm like i'm gonna be quiet keep listening is how ugly this dude is relevant to the story or just kyle bullying the fuck out of this poor ugly man it's not bleeding it's anonymous he's hard to look at like he looks like a game of thrones character or something like that is he ugly as in like fat or is he ugly as in like no skinny

as a rail and like like like like his hair is like almost all falling falling out and like he's got like pock marks but also almost like boils on his face like a fucking medieval times like warlock or something like that just a real ugly ugly man how would you can we put this face in our private chat so i can at least

understand how ugly this is i would have no way to procure that this man lives two and a half hours from me he may not be alive anymore he had pock marks and boils boils yeah or something like maybe pustules is a better word i don don't know what they were. Bumps? Lumps? Like tumors? I don't know what was on the man's face. I tried not to look. Like an old dog?

Like tumors everywhere? He looked rough. He looked rough. But anyway. Yeah, it was really fun playing poker. Like that live all the time. I really enjoyed it. My dad was super into it. I think we both got into it when fucking everybody did.

When Moneymaker won. And I remember poker chip sets were like stupid expensive now they're like so fucking cheap like that's how you can tell when something is all about supply and demand like they were selling those poker chip sets for like 150 200 or something like that now they're like 40 or something but like everybody started playing everybody uh thought they were gonna be the next chris moneymaker and uh i don't know man poker boom was huge yeah it was it changed the i mean it changed the way that the world viewed poker right people all of a sudden it's it's uh it's a legitimate game it it basically chris moneymaker was the person that won the main event in 2003 by the way last name moneymaker won the main event in 2003. By the way, last name Moneymaker won the main event. Hard to believe that.

That's pretty sick. Seems a little rigged to me. Am I right? Seems a little. No, it's not rigged. I don't know how this happened. Another accountant, by the way. I love when the names of what someone does matches up to what they do.

Lawyers whose boss. Like the goalie in the NHL, Jonathan Quick. It's neat. because he is quick yeah yeah money maker that's even better that's perfect but yeah i'm sorry as much as i can it's a i'm starting to think these accountants they they know how to end up with the money i don't know i'm just thinking about it it's like they work with it or something like that it's a scam it's another scam it's all another scam. It's all fucking scam, man. It's all a scam. That's how I look at life.

Anything I don't understand is a scam. That's confusing. It's a scam. It's a scam. Speaking of scams, tomorrow's August 13th. And I think Mike Lindell, my pillow CEO, is holding some sort of event to prove that the election was a scam and says that his proof is so verifiable that Kamala Harris and Joe Biden will voluntarily step down. And tomorrow's the day. That's outrageous.

I bet he doesn't. There's been days. call me chris money loser there's been so many days of people oh just wait for wait for june 19th wait for june 7th wait for april 13th wait oh it's coming the The truth. You know, Jesus wants Trump. Jesus prophesied the second term. Guys. No, it's going to be the pillow guy. The pillow salesman is the one who has the truth.

Did you guys know about this? That after Biden won, that there was a betting market on who would win the election? Yeah. After he. I think we followed that a little bit. Yeah. market on who on who would win the election yeah after he i think we followed that a little bit yeah i personally won 400 making bets who would win after the election so yeah i also i mean i won more than 400 but i did the same thing i got fucking alpha to play this really you want 400 i mean yeah you're adorable what do you only want 400 it 400. Woody didn't know as many idiots as you. That is the only lock, like 1 million percent lock of a bet I've ever heard where it's like,

and the results are in. Joe Biden is the next president. We're still taking bets, though. Oh, fuck. Really? I still know people. I still know people trying to bet on Trump to win the election. No, they're not still taking

bets out now i have a friend and yesterday he laid 95 to 1 that trump will not be the president at any point this term dude i had a guy willing to make bet with the same guy that i took 400 off of and i have the money by the way he paid that's a real thing um he wanted to make the bet again the only problem was the terms it was like he wanted long odds that he didn't name and he wanted some long period of time and it's like i don't want to bet outstanding until 2022 like yeah that would be annoying you probably forget here's what you do you ask him the odds he tell whatever they end up being and then you say okay you pay up front because he's gonna lose every time so he pays you you have however much extra spending money now he's never winning

you move on with your life tell him you'll tell him if he pays up front and that that when he wins and phrase it double the odds that you'll pay the money back with the interest it earns in the meantime oh i'll write it by him see if I can get his money again. And if he's down, put me in for as much as he's willing to do. I would like to be in on this as well, if possible. This fellow annoys me by spreading vaccination misinformation all the time. And it's not good information. Like, hey, it's not actually FDA-improved.

It was emergency authorized use. Like that, I can read that and accept it it's more like fake total nonsense disproved silliness and uh i don't like it being spread i don't know it just rubs me the wrong way so if i can punish him by taking his money i'll do it where are you finding these betting odds on the election still like where do you go there's just there's just a small market of people who hate money i guess it goes over there all those guys are buying the zombie paintings and they're just they're just willing those guys those guys are actually geniuses those those guys are 130 i believe it i they have to be for them to have that much money and buy it and for me to sit here and

have no idea why they're buying it they have to be that much smarter than me so i'm convinced they're geniuses that's the only explanation i wouldn't be betting on sports i've never bet on sports but do you guys let me ask you guys this do you guys actually own any cryptocurrency i've got half the point that i bought when it was at like 10k so i came on this podcast told you all that was going to go up, and then no one cashed in? No one cashed in. What's going to happen next? Tell us again. Over time, this is going to make you money.

So let's see. Apparently, I come on here every three years. Ethereum is currently $3,100. The next time I come on in three years, you can write this down, take a note, Ethereum will be at least $6,000. I'm going really conservative. It's very likely it'll be $7,500 to $10,000 or more. But it will be at least $6,000.

So if you want to double your money in three years, this is not financial advice. Yeah. What service do you use to buy all your crypto? Is he going to come on here in 2024 and hector us about not having enough crypto? I mean mean at least i'll say this like i first of all you're absolutely right our friend harley came on

when it was at 10k and pressured us to buy and that's when i bought half a bitcoin for five nice good job and like i mean i don't know what's bitcoin at like 40 right now like is it okay yeah it's great like 70 at one point, didn't it? It was going gangbusters for a bit. It's sitting on its little drive-y-do in a safe deposit box, and I'm just going to leave it there. That's what he said. He was like, just put it somewhere. Just leave

it there. Leave it there. It's going to be worth so much at one point, at some point, that you're going to be uncomfortable with it still sitting there. And I'm just like, all right. All right. Well, let's put it in a safe deposit box and we'll just still sitting there. And I'm just like, all right, all right, well, let's put it in a safe deposit box. I'm going to leave it there. And that's what we do.

It's either way that I look at it is I think that you want to have a portfolio where you have lots of, and it depends on your strategy, right? So for me, it's more wealth preservation and, and maximizing my returns. It's like, it's close,

but it's a little bit of a second because I just never want to be poor. But never own bonds. It's a complete waste of time, especially now they're printing so much money. You're going to lose versus inflation. So you're just dead there. because I just never want to be poor. But never own bonds. It's a complete waste of time. Especially now they're printing so much money, you're going to lose versus inflation. So you're just dead there. And then you mainly want to own real estate,

stock market stuff, and then cryptocurrencies. And in the cryptocurrencies, you mainly just want to own the good shit. There's always some guy that's like, have you heard of the new hot thing? It's this. It's like, well, maybe you might make money doing that, but you also might be getting in late. And now you're going to lose bitcoin and ethereum are going to win in the long run they've

been winning they're going to continue to win these are extremely safe bets obviously nothing in life's 100 but there's there's going to be a finite there's going to be 21 million bitcoin and it's going to be whatever number of ethereum it's going to slowly become deflationary these things are going to be worth way more in the future. And I actually am a little worried for the people that are not involved in this space because I've seen this space for eight years now. When I first saw Bitcoin, it was $100 whatever. And then I see the writing on the wall of people like, I don't like that technology stuff.

Okay, well, eventually this stuff is going to be worth so much money. These markets are going to be so big. The people that never got involved are going to have a tremendous amount less wealth than the people that did. And there's also some some other kind of issues with that i mean it's a lot of you know young white and asian men there's like some interesting thoughts on kind of which groups of people are going to most benefit from this and you know how can we i don't know i don't want to go down that road i guess but you know what i'm saying kind of the same people that benefited with or without crypto sounds like what service do you use to like buy and sell stuff because there's like a million of

them and i've heard good and bad things from my friends who do it i don't have a i can't show you a good i'm not i'm not the guy for like the actual purchase and stuff like i i wish i had like you should buy here i have no company i have no i'm just telling you this is going to go up in value tremendously over time now keep in mind you're is going to go up in value tremendously over time. Now, keep in mind, you're only going to lose if you sell. So for example, Bitcoin got up to 65 and then dropped down to 29. I think it was lowest 28, something like that. Ethereum got up to 4,400 or 4,200 and it went all the way down to 1,600.

So if you're going to, if you're the kind of guy that's going to panic sell, I like what Kyle did. Put it away. I am not touching this. Let's see where we are in three to five years it's going to be worth a tremendous amount more money it's going to keep happening ethereum went up recently yep it's kind of what i am is it during the time and it looks scary is ethereum similar to bitcoin that there's a finite number of them like it's structured the same no ethereum right now isn't like that but they're

they're transitioning it to being like that basically so it wasn't in the initial design of it but they're it's going to become deflationary i don't want to get too into the specific eventually yes that would be correct okay sort of yeah does ethereum work better as a currency than bitcoin they're both not great as currencies because they're they just got too valuable i don't think satoshi the guy that started bitcoin was oh yeah one day bitcoin will be worth 45 000 when he created it they were worth pennies or nothing you know then oh wow it got to a dollar i never thought this would happen and now it wasn't meant to be this valuable. People just loved it too much. And it's just grown so fast.

So there are solutions. Bitcoin is trying to do different things that make it better, like the Lightning Network, SegWit accounts, things like that, that they've introduced to try and make it easier to move money at a cheap rate. But it's tough because there's basically this big problem with cryptocurrencies where there's three things you want. Security, speed, basically your ability to scale, and then decentralization, which means one guy doesn't control the money. And every time you try and get more of one thing, you get a little less of the other. So if you want to have transactions that are really fast, that's cool, but usually they're less secure because they don't have the time

to verify everything, right? If you want to have transactions that are really secure, that's great, but now it's going to take a lot longer. And if you have money that you could take back from a hacker, that's awesome. But now what if this thing with your money,

then you're not safe. So there's all these different trade-offs to cryptocurrencies, basically. And who knows who the eventual winner will be but cryptocurrency as a genre is going to win and i would just bet on the big players basically are there any other big ones other than bitcoin and ethereum or do they kind of have it cornered there's so those are the two biggest by a huge margin to where everything after that becomes a lot more risky i think um but there will be some other ones that that are successful too but then then you're getting more into i think some people's opinions and what they think is valuable and things like that rather than

just kind of the the important aspect here which is that cryptocurrency when and i hate being the cryptocurrency guy, but I just had to say just for a moment, guys, three years from now, Mark it down, Doug, Ethereum will be, I'll give you two numbers. Three years from now,

Bitcoin's going to be over 80 and Ethereum will be over 6,000. You just, we'll see how that one plays out. All right, I'll look into some Ethereum. I can't wait three years to double my money. You got to do do what's better you have any for sure i've tried roulette it could go up way more too i'm just saying i think it'll be at least that price

yeah do any of you want to bet on the 2020 stanley cup champion 2020 i'm going for the trump biden thing thing. I'm going to bet on past events. I'm positive Tampa Bay wins. I tried to get this guy to pick me up on last week's Packers game too, and he didn't see the parallel. Eventually the NHL is going to come out, and they're going to close that loophole and retroactively steal it and give it back to the Canadians. That's what Mike Lindell is saying.

That'd be 2021, maybe, unless I'm misunderstanding. Yeah, you're right. Ooh, You would have lost your own bet. I would have won. I should have bet against Tampa. The same team did win in 20 and 21. Oh, fuck. Imagine if I thought I was so clever

by betting against... Yeah, that would actually be hilarious. I'd lose my house on a bet. yeah that would actually be hilarious answer this question so i really enjoy going to hockey games the the atmosphere the just like be able to see the rink having a drink hang with your friends like when the puck it gets near the net the fans get really into it but when i watch it on tv i just it's unbearable to me it's unbearable is it is it a thing that's accepted there's a big drop off between live and and tv with hockey or is that just me being weird no no you're a million percent right and like the line is almost like if if you've played like i played hockey my whole life

and so like you like on if you don't know what you're watching on hockey on tv you want to try and follow the puck what you should be doing is watching the players and you can predict where the puck's going to be and what's going to happen but if you don't play hockey like you don't really get that and so you're just like squinting like what the fuck and i totally get it it's way harder to follow because it's a tiny projectile and it's moving really quick it gets lost easy if why don't they make it glow they tried that in the 90s they tried the glow puck in the 90s and everybody hated it but um as far as live hockey goes like i'm biased obviously but it is so much fucking fun to go to a live game like the hits i went to i've tried multiple times to watch on on tv uh and it's i'm

just like the fuck is this and then uh i went a couple of thrashers games when they were here in Atlanta before we lost our team. And then I went to an avalanche game in Colorado with Taylor and I've loved it every fucking time. I liked the $10 beers. I like the, I like the, the atmosphere.

Like we had awesome tickets in Colorado. We were like right behind the, the, the bench. It was, it was a great fucking time. But, and and even watching the thrashers in our like nosebleed section it was like cool because some chick got beamed in the head with a fuck that night i think it was a lot of fucking fun that happens more often than you would think there was way more than you think yeah i'm older than

you guys and i've watched these tales of hockey's about to become popular as HDTV becomes popular. Once people can see the action a little bit better, and we're not watching in some 480 fuzzy, whatever it was back in the 90s and 80s, that hockey will be the most popular sport. Didn't happen. Didn't happen. Even with good HD quality where you can see it better than ever, people aren't, hockey's way better in person. And now it seems like the world of streaming has just crushed things that you have to watch live. You know, it used to be, I used to come home from work and be like,

what's tonight? Oh, tonight is this show, this show, and this show kind of in a row. You know, I'd set my TiVo to delay it by like 40 minutes and then have no commercials for, you know, the whole night. It's to delay it by like 40 minutes and then have no commercials for you know the whole night it's a great play i was clever yeah now like the notion that i wouldn't just turn on any show i want any time i want and get it commercial free is unacceptable and something like a live hockey game where it seems like they just blast you with commercials constantly and i have to watch it when they tell me I'm going to watch it. I'm out.

Yeah. I get annoyed at hockey commercials. And then I try and watch like a football game with my friends. And it's like, this is criminal what they're doing right now. Like it's, there's five seconds of that. And like the way you're watching hockey,

Doug, I'm sure is the way I watch football. Like, like I'll have people being like, Oh, do you see just what like the tight end did right there is a little shimmy he's signaling to and it's like no i missed all of that you have to tell me i didn't really play football more than middle school so i don't get the flow of the game um yeah that's the reason

everybody's into the sports they played as a kid for the most part i think there are some sports that are so much better in person basketball is so much better in person um like especially if you're down by the court like like i don't know it's it's awesome it's really fun to watch a basketball game in person i cannot watch that shit on tv i have a theory about about games i actually enjoy basketball on tv a lot too but i have a theory about this i think that the more intimate the viewing experience is the better that the sport gets in general uh i think that football is football's my favorite sport i love watching football i think it is not good live now there is an atmosphere argument the crowd gets so into it you have 50 to 75 to 100 000 people in some college games all

cheering and that energy and that vibe you can only get there so but for the actual watching in the sport it just it's just it's just too big the field is too big it's better on tv that's just a sport that is better to watch on tv whereas with basketball and hockey is a little bit bigger but similar idea it's it's such a it's such a more it's more intimate experience being close to it and seeing it and being able to watch the small things and see the players i think it's a great experience you know where the biggest disparity is between being uh really good and on tv and awful in person is ufc dude oh 100 actually i was gonna say something about that and i didn't but basically that's the exception on the intimate thing because

the views just get blocked so badly by the cage and you know what the solution is it needs to be in a pit they need to be down below us and we need to be someone tried that we need to be looking down at the fighters so we're looking into the cage when they leave they should go into a tunnel that's below the stands like they should be it should be they should be pit fighters they should be down a pit like that's how they did it in the olden days. They literally put them in a pit. It wouldn't scale though, right? They could only have so many fans.

Some fans at least would get a good viewing experience. Just an enormous cone. Exactly. There'd be, I don't even know how many people that is, like 2,000 people able to watch it, not Madison Square Garden for sure. But you'd actually be able to watch it true and even though it'd still be worse it'd still be worse because there's nothing better than like having the when um when you're looking at the cameraman's

ass as he gets in the way all the time like like that knockout that we saw a while back who was it um fucking street jesus what's his name jorge ververa thank you it's now it's an elliope you got me close enough yeah you served it up and i fucking nailed it yeah fucking jorge masvidal when he got hit by kamaru uzman and it was like it was like a scene from rocky balboa when he's just and his head snaps and all the sweat and spit just goes and atomizes like those people in the stands didn't even know who got hit oh is this the masvidal fight i i couldn't they didn't know like they're looking at a jumbotron they're just there watching a big tv that sucks wait woody and i went to a mcgregor fight and it was awful connor fought that night right uh he did in boston

yeah yeah we went to a mcgregor fight it was awful meanwhile we watched a mcgregor fight um in a movie theater and that's the best ufc experience i've ever fucking had in a amc movie theater with a crowd of fans mixed fans some like mcgregor some like uh the other guy chad mendez chad mendez and so there was a little bit of oh no oh no and i'm like yeah yeah get him it was great it was the best of both worlds you had the crowd but you also had the tv it was amazing that's the way to go i wish that was more you know what if i owned a movie theater i'm so glad i don't uh did you say they did it recently for the poirier fight, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That should be a widespread thing. They should really be pimping live events like that where you get the electricity of a group experience but the videography of the television. I'd watch a Super Bowl like that. If they're serving alcohol, I would love to watch a Super Bowl in a theater full of fans,

like any major sporting event. I would go to watch the World Series. I'd go to watch a Super Bowl in a theater full of fans, like any major sporting event. I would go to watch the World Series. I'd go to watch the Super Bowl. If they had a package deal where maybe you could buy all seven games if it goes that far or whatever, like, oh, yeah, this much for one night, this much for all seven games or whatever potential, I would absolutely watch a series in a movie theater. That'd be sick.

People love atmosphere, right? Yeah. Do you guys watch the NBA Finals this year no i don't watch i did a little all right so there's this place called deer i think it's deer park or deer valley doesn't matter it's right outside of uh the milwaukee bucks stadium and everyone just goes and just gets hype and just jumps around and so the stadium will be full and then there'll just be this area with thousands probably tens of thousands of people just all jumping around watching on a massive screen outside and just being a part of it and they just want to be a part of that right so

i think that there's there's a social aspect to these kinds of group meetups that you get from that kind of atmosphere we talked about the new york versus atlanta series on this show a little bit where they passed out flyers to chant trey is balding the best york versus atlanta series on this show a little bit where they passed out flyers to chant trey is balding the best player on the atlanta hawks is is balding and uh to get under his skin the fans all chanted trey is balding and uh it it's mean it's a little body shaming i'm not a little the social justice warrior in me uh extends a heartfelt sympathy to him but nobody cares about that you know what the thing is though trey trey young is he he looks like he's 40 even though he's 22 or whatever and he he looks like he's balding and he doesn't look like your

normal nba player but i'll tell you what he's a pretty good basketball player and he doesn't look like your normal NBA player, but I'll tell you what. He's a pretty good basketball player, and he doesn't give a fuck. In a lot of these games after the game, they're saying whatever, I'll say whatever back. When he beat New York, he had a little bow afterwards. That was great. He's like, when the show's over, you take a bow. It's great stuff, man. The New York fans liked him.

He's the new love-to-hate guy in New York. I think they all respect him. He played well. He doesn't play dirty. And they're giving him a hard time and he's giving them a little wink. And all right, all right. Good one. Good one.

He takes it with he rolls with it. And he did great. He did everything perfectly. I like him now. Someone spat on him in one of those games. Did you hear about that? That's gross. He didn't realize, though, because I think he got them on the jersey,

but there's a video of it. By the way, there was a big surge of this right when COVID restrictions started to come down. People would go to games, and they would just act like complete assholes and do shit to players. I think people were just being cooped up for too long and just lashing out against whatever. There's a bunch of instances.

They did something wrong, too. I forget. Did they pour water on a player? I forget, but they got all upset about it. Don't do that to Ron Artest. Is he the guy that fought people in the stands? He'll beat your ass so bad he can change his name. Wait, did they just put a documentary out about him?

Who was Malice of the Palace? Is that Ron Artest? Wait, just a documentary. I looked this up. A documentary just came up for that. Yeah, that was Ron Artest. Meta world peace. I think that a new documentary that's apparently quite good just came out for that.

So we're probably checking out. It bugged me, his excuse. So if people don't know this at all someone like threw beer at him he went into the stands on the idea that he was going to kick the ass of the dude who threw the beer he beat up the wrong person and uh he was like what i was gonna do was self-defense man it was like him or me and it's's like, you got beer on you. I hate that more than most people. But even I can see that like this six foot nine, I don't know, professional athlete shouldn't go in the stands and just beat the fuck out of a guy or the wrong guy for throwing beer. How many beers did the guy have to keep throwing to make it a self-defense?

Was he like Donkey Kong with the fucking barrels? Just infinite beers he's fucking at him? Yeah. to keep throwing to make it a self-defense was he like donkey kong with the fucking girls yeah i i i don't know i i just i'm inconsistent on this because was it ty domy that beat that like beat someone up in the stands or maybe he just jokingly did it was mike milbury this is when the glass fell into the penalty in the same bin that was ty domey but i don't think he actually beat the guy up i think he just like roughed him up a little like like like you know maybe face washers when you put your really dirty hockey glove into the guy's face taylor knows this yeah and he might have done a little that and a little like sort of punched him but he didn't hurt the guy that to me is the perfect

response when i don't know a ufc fighter in particular beats up someone in the men's room of a club it's like dude yeah why why did you come on that's so your hands are weapons right they have to be registered as weapons you're using a weapon on someone that yeah they're just they're being idiots in the same way that no one here should beat up kids in middle school right like it's just are you saying we should save them instead how many times can we reference this in one podcast what if some middle school kid is trying to horn in on your lady?

You know? I mean, he gets to spend all day. Then you have to beat him up. I would hope that my lady could fend for herself at that point, but I don't know. He's 14 too. She's stuck with this kid all day. What are you thinking, Doug?

I go to pick her up from middle school. She's stuck with this kid all day What are you thinking, Doug? I go to pick her up from middle school I go to pick her up, she's telling me that Tommy's fucking like dipping her pigtails in the fountain again, I gotta show off You go there jacked out of your mind My girlfriend says that you stole her pencil box You calling Stacy a liar?

That's that jacked adult who changes his accent all the time get back he's a schizophrenic enormous man he must have nothing going on he's always with binoculars and his syringes. And his mom from picking him up. That's the way Kyle cares for the children. Not through fraudulent crypto crimes. Never. Never through fraudulent crypto crime. No.

Legal crypto crime. Legal crypto crime. The good kind. It seems to be a lot of it. Oh, God. All right, guys. I'm going to have to run here in a sec. But I just want to say thank you for having me on today um it was good good to chat with everybody and uh you know kyle i hope that the remaining probation period goes smoothly and then

you never have to go back to prison because we don't i mean they're fun stories but i i think it's probably better to not to not have to tell them. I agree 100%. Thank you very much for saying so. We did enjoy having you on. I'm sure my poker buddies will be jealous that we had you on the show. We talk about you a good bit. We like to play a lot of every time somebody gets mad at a poker game, somebody gets challenged to a fucking heads-up battle or something like that. It usually goes the way it should be.

But yeah, thank you very much for coming on. I enjoyed you thoroughly. Yeah. And where – your site again? So if you want to learn how to play poker, guys, upswingpoker.com is my training site. We have a variety of stuff you can – or courses you can take to learn how to play.

And then if you want to listen to me talk more, I have my own podcast, Doug Polk Podcast. That's it. Those are the only plugs I want to get in there. Cool. Awesome. All right. Checking that out. If you want to go, you just close the tab you're in and you'll disappear.

Sounds good. Thanks, Doug. Take care. I thought he was going to walk away and not close the tab. I'm like, this is awkward. I guess Zach would have handled it. He walks away, talks to us like, man, those guys fucking sucked.

The one guy had a butt plug. Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah. He always had the butt plug there. Is that a new addition? That's a new addition. Yeah.

I had to move my camera shit around for the Twitch stream because LogiCapture was making uh obs um lag it was using like 10 percent of my gpu and so i had to go to like a different camera software so that required the camera to get moved because it doesn't have digital zoom like my old camera but i think having the camera closer is like clearer anyway so it's probably a win-win for everybody and uh so yeah i was like hey let's throw the plug over there in the background be funny so i did that before the show it is yeah speaking of that had me and uh me and taylor streamed vermentide with uh with midi and uh pug pummeler had an awesome fucking time stream for like three or four hours and uh i was just about to get off and i got raided by a twitch streamer called fenster and um

yeah with like 2 000 viewers you know and And, and I was like, Oh, well we can't go anywhere now. Like, and I, what, I was happy to get the, the, uh, the, the, the viewers and everything. That was super cool. Uh, and I really appreciate that from Fenster. But, uh, but I was like, you know, I didn't know who Fenster was, but, but like Fenster's army of fans was coming in there and I was like, ah, tell Fenster, I really appreciate him sending his army of paypigs my way. It's super cool of him.

And they kept – I was like, who's Fenster, you know? And they were like – Can you get a link of him? Yeah, I'm going to see if this link works. I'm terrible at things sometimes, though. I should have had one ready. Does that work? What happens when you pop – nope, nope.

Here's his Twitch. Yeah. Can we just play some of his twitch uh i'm sure we could yeah he seems to be a fan of yours he's a fan yeah i don't think he's gonna strike us or anything uh he's a 50 50 discord uh member now as well uh 50 patreon uh member member. He joined up yesterday. And they were like, you'll like him, Kyle. You'll like him. And I was like, why? What is it?

Is he a gun guy? Is he a gun guy? And then I opened it up on my phone, and this is Fenster. I may or may not. I may or may not have been connected to a VPN. I may or may not have been connected to a vpn i may or may not have been in america for a moment and that may or may not have been the problem because i didn't disconnect from a vpn all right that's probably good for now you can pause yeah i was just like wait what the fuck at first i thought it was a woman. And then they were like, no, he's a cross-dresser. And I was like, is that how he likes to be identified?

I was like, I don't even think I could say that. Like, if it's a trans woman, then, like, probably wouldn't like being called. But apparently this gentleman's pronouns are he, him. Just likes getting gussied up. Apparently it started as a sub-goal, maybe, I think I read. And now it's a lifestyle. And now it's a fucking lifestyle. I saw a comment on YouTube.

He had a video where he walked around in public dressed like that. And the top comment was something like, this started for the memes, but pretty sure he just really enjoys it now so yeah i mean he found a nice little niche good for him yeah i i really appreciated the uh the the raid that was that was pretty cool uh we stayed on for another 45 minutes or something like that and played a bit more vermentide for for for that gang. And I, I sent him a message earlier and asked him if he wanted to come on the show sometime.

Cause I know he watches the show and I think it'd be an interesting guest. It's, it's so funny to see like a cute little girl just go, yeah. So I might've been connected to a VPN there. I don't know. Play with a butterfly knife. Yeah.

You're just like, what the fuck? And like the more i like delve into like his content it's very tongue-in-cheek and uh and funny and he's definitely on board with the joke um and his fans are are really interesting too because you can tell like some of them just think it's hilarious and some of them just really want to fuck that dude he is beyond aware of this yeah like he was like i saw a clip like where he's like eating french fries and i don't know what he's dipping them in maybe it was queso but it like dribbled down his

mouth in a very suggestive kind of pattern and he was like oh no oh no because he knows it's getting clipped and screened um so yeah i think he'd be a fun fucking guest uh especially it's i think i think it uh the good makings of a guest are usually if they are familiar with the show and like how we uh do things around here and how like kind of silly it can be sometimes and uh and you know they already know us so we don't have to go through old stories and nonsense or anything they're all they're in on all the inside jokes uh so so i think that be fun. That helps. I much more value how good they can roll with the other hosts versus

the audience they bring. Yeah. If some big guy, like, I don't know, if PewDiePie were to come on, huge audience, maybe that's a bad example, and then want to stand away and not enjoy the fun, that would be a bad show. Yeah. I love Landmark to death, and I hope the stream went pretty soon a bad show yeah yeah like i love landmark to death

and i hope the stream went pretty soon but he wasn't a super good guest because um i think we were a little bit too um edgy for him and you know he's he's more um i wouldn't say pg-13 but somewhere below where we are i we might be x-rated over here might be a really good guest if he was never a twitch streamer i i have the suspicion that the real man would be a fun guest but the guy that he needs to maintain on twitch you know to get sponsorships and stuff and i understood i understood that completely um you know i i got it um you do i'm saying it for the audience yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess i'm saying that for the audience too like like i i'm not trying to just shit on him or anything i i watch more landmark than i do anything else these days like i probably watch three hours of fucking landmark a day i really enjoy his stream jesus

christ i remember when he was on the show like he was streaming at the same time and i think even beforehand we're like you may not want to do that but he decided that anyway and he had it like on a delay his chat and so like i'd pop over there occasionally and they'd be like i can't even tell what half these fuckers are saying because we keeps getting silenced out i think general sam said he was available after august 20th i think and it still he has a similar thing awesome sure so let's get the whole tarkov streamer uh the bandwagon in i'm down yeah yeah yeah that'd be fun i like all those guys general sam's a really funny tarkov guy so pastille yeah if i kind of had to describe like their genre and like their take on the game it's that landmark um is just tries to go ultra chad mode all the time and just really go hard in the paint by himself all the time.

But still, he also almost always plays by himself. It's a little more fun-loving and silly at times. Like, he'll do a lot more goofy stuff. Instructional, too. And very instructional. And General Sam is like an anti-meme or something like that like like he'll he he'll promote tactics that are um frowned upon by most of the community like like so in tarkov taylor you know you're going in with all that equipment that you had to purchase using in-game money and if you die you actually fucking

lose it and it's a big deal sometimes like you that a fully decked out player probably has about 1.5 million rubles worth of gear on them of a very wealthy player at this point in the white probably has like 50 million rubles on them and then like a lot more in items and stuff that they required but a million and a half rubles is still kind of a hit if you lose it all it's a big deal and especially if you don't have all that much money and so you go in the red you do your thing that you're you're looting looking in boxes and stuff for gear but you're also fighting other players and ai taking their stuff you you have limited storage space so you you maximize each storage slot for its value you know like high value items you're bringing so at this point you're putting your stuff you put in his wrist

and you've had a good raid, right? We came in with a million. Now we're worth like 4 million. This is amazing. I want nothing more than to escape from Tarkov with all this stuff. Yeah. So you have to go to designated areas on the map to extract. That's where if you stand in the circle, it starts ticking a timer down from like five or six seconds, and you poof, you disappear.

Now you're back in your stash. You've secured all that loot, and you can now sell it. So those areas are obviously known to everyone. Players have different extracts. Like I might have, let's just call it extract A. Woody might have extract B. So we're going to separate areas. But you can just hide in the bushes near extract A,

or like in the distance with a sniper rifle looking at x-ray and you can do what's called extract camping and this is very frowned upon and you can do it no and like i said there's two real classes of players and this is kind of like the the thing about tarkov there's chads and there's rats and the rats are and general sam is a self-proclaimed i'm not sure yeah the chads are landmarks chad general sam's a rat he's in the shadows creeping around using cheap gear that he doesn't even mind use it losing and he's just waiting on some chad to come back after doing all the work for him so he can blast him in the back of the head, scoop up all their gear, and then he steps away from extracting from the raid.

So he's just like, got all your shit, and I vanish. It's like that scene from Usual Suspects. And just like that, he's gone. It's a super scummy way to play the game. Super frowned upon. I don't know, that sounds funny.

It is funny his video has like two million views so he influenced the the player group base of this made the player base worse he made the game worse this guy rules yeah and he does really funny editing where he's got green screen and he'll be like interacting with like the game it's like it's like he's doing that thing that uh um they used to do on nickelodeon where you're like running through the the bullshit like jungle thing or whatever he'll be like crawling through pipes in the game and stuff talking about being a rat or or like or like peeking through windows of buildings that exist in the game and stuff and he's he's like holding a handheld mic it's good enough to be decent quality but bad enough to still be funny like it's it's it strikes the right note it's really funny stuff and uh he's a funny guy so yeah i think i also think he'd be a

good uh i could guess do the landmarks and the pastilles and their viewers like really dislike what what general sam does or is it like landmark and bastille might but i think they in particular are like just above game performance they don't care if they win they don't care if they lose they're they're just so successful like in no particular raid bothers them or yeah but as the average player it's like fuck man and then there's a guy who's literally called the extract camper yeah and like like he'll be on twitch with wearing like a ghillie suit or something like just being a scumbag and you know like i've extra camp before too like it's it just there are like obvious places to extract camp and sometimes a good player will check them on their way out ex phil camper

hides in places you didn't know you could get to and there are like stims that will give you more strength that give you more jumping ability so he can get to places that it takes special tricks and knowledge to get to and uh so he's an especially good ex phil camper because he finds spots you didn't know were there. Yeah, it's good stuff. All three of those guys are super entertaining, and I look forward to having Pastilli and General Sam on as guests. That would be really cool. And Finster.

I want to know all about this thing that he has going on where he dresses as a cute e-girl. Because I saw videos where he goes on a megal and trolls people they'll be like oh hey there and she and and he is like hey what's up oh yeah that's busted that's right big boy um so i look forward to that taylor i found it oh yeah go ahead no please go ahead you're gonna get a Finster. I was going to ask if Finster was a Tarkov person, but I guess not. Minecraft was the original thing that I think he was big into. I don't know if he plays a lot of Minecraft still or not,

but I think that was his original thing. Taylor and I have been playing a bunch of Vermintide. I think I've got him hooked a little bit. You have. Yeah, I'm back in. Back in. It's a very addictive game, although I have a new game that I think I'm going to try out tomorrow,

and if I dig it, I'm going to try to stream it on Saturday. It's called Deep Rock Galactic. Let me just lay out the two-line description of this. It's a 1-4 player co-op FPS featuring badass space dwarves with 100% destructible environments, procedurally generated caves, and endless hordes of alien monsters. All right, I'm down. You're a team of four fucking space dwarves,

and your mission is very much like Vermintide, how there's waves of monsters coming at you, but you also have to focus on mining because you're a greedy space dwarf. So when you're not fighting giant spiders or whatever, you're literally mining ore in the cave. You're like, we gotta get it out of here, boys.

The art style is a little wonky, but it looks like it could be fun. Is it free or do you have to buy it? I don't know. Keep Rock-A-Light, I think. It's only $30. Yeah, I'll give this a go.

I'll play a Space Dwarf and run around. I've checked into this game before. It looked interesting to me. I play co-op games with Colin sometimes. Not lately. But anyway, this is a co-op game. It's like left for dead or vermentine or something we all work together to get to the end i like that i i like games where

everybody's working to get together fighting hordes of enemies i like nazi zombies a lot but that's just so played out right now for me although i could see streaming that i haven't played the new map um and uh but definitely gonna stream saturday at 5 p.m uh 5 p.m seems like a good time to start. I like World War Z. I think that's what it's called. Let me double check. World War Z, the zombie one? That was like the original open world thing for a while, right?

It could be that I have the name of the game wrong. I'm trying to play a trailer or something right now. I also want a friend being really into that. No, I have it right. World War Z. If that one ever catches your fancy, I'm probably bad right now, but I've been good at that game. I could carry the team.

Yeah, it'd be fun to play with you. Get the whole gang together. I got all red weapons today in Vermintide, Taylor. I finally got that. Nice. All red. All red. it was super hard because i'm using a dlc bow and uh you can't get a dlc bow in red you can't get one from a box so you have to get five reds grind up five extra reds and then upgrade your orange bow to red so

i had to i had to get a lot of red i had to get get five extra reds to find the boat of red. So you're all red, like your charm and bracelet. Very nice. I've only got two reds so far, and one of them is not my flail on my character, and I really need that red flail. I have the red dueling pistols, and those are wildly better than any other ranged thing I've ever used, so I can't imagine how much better.

I even watched a video. I watched a video today while I was working out. I was like, am I playing the Zealot correctly? And I looked up and I'm like, okay, I seem to be playing it right. And I watched like a tier list video. And everyone agrees the flail is the best thing for that guy because it ignores shields, which is just retardedly good to entirely ignore a shield.

The Greatsword, just like trying to play yesterday I was having so much trouble with that, that thing is ass complete dog shit the first red I got since I started playing with Pug Pummeler it's like a red great sword alright, we're immediately grinding this up it's dust Pug Pummeler, by the way, is one of the funniest

steam names ever and he's really fucking good at the game. He is. And, you know, the tism can get a little intense in the Discord sometimes. And he's definitely one of the chill guys. So I've been really enjoying playing with him. But I'm looking for a game that I can stream with Harley. Because I've been texting with him a lot about streaming together.

But I was like, hey, you ever played Vermintide? He's like like never touched it like all right um i'm gonna have to hook up with you maybe this weekend then because like there's no way that you can start off as a level one and play with us like it just wouldn't work like that would be kind of funny well he can't even play on the difficulty we're playing it and the whole reason we're playing the difficult we're at difficulty we're at is so that we can get those red items and stuff and so that's kind of entertaining for the stream to some extent if somebody if anybody out there

actually cares about the gameplay and doesn't just want to hang out with me or whatever and hear us bullshit and ramble, then they'd be watching Recruit gameplay. I don't know. That's super lame. Oh, he could play that DLC where it doesn't matter what level you are or what level your weapons are. He could do that, right?

Or no? I'm not familiar with that. Yeah, there's a new DLC called The Chaos the chaos waste it's a whole new spin on the game it's pretty fucking fun that's what we've been doing like instead of just playing one mission and it's over you play like six or eight maps in a row and if you die at any point you've lost everything but if you win at the end you get like a ton of loot. You get three of the best chests in the game that have really high red value. So we're getting three chests every 40 minutes or something like that.

It takes about 40 minutes to play a full little campaign. Only if we win. Only if we win. Some of those are fucking hard. We had success going the same route every time, and I don't think it matters what route you take other than like perks along the way but those perks don't carry over back to the normal game yeah it's a little bit like zombies woods in that you kind of come in bare bones and you're earning this like

nonsense currency in the game kind of like you're doing zombies from kills but you get it by picking it up off the ground and you spend that to like make your character better as you go so you can get like these random perks or you can like make your weapon stronger and uh and so it's it's a it's a new it's a new little spin on the game and it it made a lot i like it when you pick something up and everyone gets it like uh borderlands does that in borderlands if i pick up cash everyone gets it that way i don't have to oh really that really? That's nice. It changes the dynamic, right? Because otherwise, like in zombies, for example, this is a Call of Duty zombies. You know, like you stole my kill. Come on.

I'm clearly standing here in front of the window, but you're getting this so that you get the money, so that you get the gun, so that you get this. And it's like, yeah, there's a lot of like co-op cooperative style perks in there. It's like one of the potions that you can drink in the chaos waste it's like every kill i get gives my team uh like health points yeah there's lots of stuff like that um that's like i whenever you do a cool thing it benefits your team like there's lots of that added in uh i like that it only works if you're playing with real life friends though like if like if we were to play together you might be tend to run that if you're playing with guys who don't even have mic strength you just randomly like say you wanted to level up midday then uh that perk is less likely to be run vermintide has a really cool community uh and for one thing like it's so if somebody goes down you've still got the enemies

that four people are supposed to fight so now three people have to fight four enemies so i run that perk a lot just so that i can like keep my team built because i if they go down i gotta try to get them up and i might die trying to get them up um so like i i want that i need my team because you know everybody's a different character like like so many of those co-op games it's like you really need that fire guy back there like making everything on fire so it's a little weaker to my sword and everybody kind of needs my like blocking ability or whatever to kind of tank a bunch of damage while they shoot arrows or whatever. It's a real team effort.

I like that in games, any game that's like that, where it's that cooperation. I'm not sure what I like more like, like you're selling that and I get it, but then like call it, I'm sorry. Zombies left for dead.

I was going for and left for dead well the characters look different they're functionally identical identical and i always kind of like that like no excuses everyone does the same stuff if you take my favorite character whatever it's cosmetic i don't even see me like it's okay there are like my character is probably the best character that's probably elf yeah it's definitely the strongest it's probably the best character but not by like a landslide or anything what's interesting is like when we're like playing like i'll be like you know i got this thing i do where like every time i do this all this cool shit happens and and midi will be like oh you don't even know every time i do this all of this shit happens i'm like holy shit that is kind of crazy and plug pummel like neither one of you really understand the

thing is when i do this just everything changes that's why you guys have been winning by the way because i keep doing that so much and i'm like look at look at my pig hat that i bought i got a pig on my head i got a pig on my head it worked out so well that i got stuck with the character I did, the crazy guy with the flail, because it's like I take a tremendous amount of damage all the time, and all that guy's perks are like the only way to heal is to take damage and kill things,

and the more damage you lose, the stronger you are. And so even then, if I'm just getting ragged on by some better foe, it's like i'm actually uh tactically losing life right now my strikes are twice as strong obviously your character is a bit of a leroy jenkins it's you know everybody else is like all right that's i think it's 1.5 repeating of course and you're gonna want to put bloom of the ages on and until it's just like pig hat let's go and the pig's alive it's not just a hat that looks like a pig it's a literal piglet taped to his fucking head that's like looking

around terrified because it's been it's been carried into war yeah it's pretty funny but but like that's i went online and i was like should i not be leroy jenkinsing and it's like no that's the way you're supposed to play with this guy is like just go make a bunch of havoc and problems and that way the people with the really dope ranged attacks can get a few more seconds to deal a ridiculous amount of damage yeah it's a fun game i don't i don't know if it's the most popular game to watch i know actually i know it's not the most popular game to watch but it's what i'm really passionate about right now but i'm gonna mix it up a little bit i think uh i'm gonna check out this Dwarf Mining game. Not that that's the hot thing.

Splitgate is what Kitty tells me I should stream. It's a mixture of Halo and Portal. I haven't even heard of it. Yeah, it's kind of a wild arcade-style shooter. Like I said, it looks a lot like Halo gameplay, but with portals that you can, you know, just like the game Portal. So it looks kind of wild. Um,

portal is an awesome game. Portal is an awesome game. And Halo is an awesome game. Although I haven't really been into it since Halo three. Um, I played a little ODST, but, uh,

but yeah, portal too. We could call out portal two on stream. That'd be fun. I'd be down for that. I, I have portal. Um,

I would absolutely be down to do, to do portal. Um, and look like a fucking buffoon. Yeah. I, I'm not like super familiar with portal. be down for that i i have portal um i would absolutely be down to do to do portal um and look like a fucking buffoon yeah i i'm not like super familiar with portal i've played it through once same um but that's about the extent i think now ever since woody ever since you mentioned borderlands like i'm getting those like gaming memories where i'm like i really want to fucking play borderlands borderlands 3 was the one that like disappointed and kind of sucked right two two is the tremendous one right i that's the way i remember it i played three with

woody i want to say the most oh three was awful super bad because woody's always hyping it up and i was new to the series i'd never played one before and and to me what he's like selling it like it's fallout skyrim mixed with call of duty 4 i really enjoyed the previous ones and i'm just like man you got me hype let me plunk down 60 bucks and get in there you guys and i was just like it was a test of discipline and patience to beat that game it was like all of us for like a job we didn't like i think colin was the only one who had fun maybe did he play with us i think i think he may have been the only one who had fun i like it when colin comes through like like when

the chips are down and everyone's suffering and he uh clutches like i get a lot of joy out of that i like games that give you that opportunity uh like like um vermentide does that like everybody can be down and we're all spectating one guy and you're just all right he has to slay not only a giant monster by himself but a thousand pinky rats and it's fun to watch that happened today pug pumpler just killed everything while we watched it was really fun well i'm gonna i'm gonna buy and play borderlands 2 because i have good memories of how fucking fun that game was borderlands 3 was ass so if that was your only experience with it, I do not blame you one bit for having a bad experience. Four-player co-op? Is that the deal?

Yeah, it's four-player co-op, and you can play different characters. I don't remember. I think the character I liked the most, because they all have uber abilities or whatever, was the dwarf, where he just used his ultimate, and he gets infinite ammo. But what he does before he does it is he goes, Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, I remember that. He flips off everybody. Do you know what the awful thing is? I'm pretty sure that they paid me to make a video for Borderlands 2, and they gave me a bunch of free copies, and I never played it. Oh, you missed out. Borderlands 2 rocks. I liked it more than the first one.

But yeah, i'll play whatever uh that sounds fun if it is indeed a better version of that fucking third game yeah i would argue that um so in borderlands you play it and then you play it again and all the monsters get a little more difficult probably one runs enough for most people yeah unless you want to like mess around with the absurd guns and after after you get through like maybe you have to go through twice what do you would know better than me but like there and then it's like you have to go beat like terrarium or fucking boagrius or whatever and it's like it's all of you fighting one giant mountain monster or one that happens

on both playthroughs okay maybe yeah you're right it probably just gets harder on the second one right um how about how long do you think it takes to beat it uh borderlands 2 it's not that long of a game really like if you're with people who are even halfway decent at like point and shoot you're gonna say 15 hours yeah probably right around there maybe a little more like if you're streaming it because you'll be chatting with chat and messing around one downside is a stream game is that uh it's one of those non-stop games where like you're fighting like i don't know 30 monsters at a time all the time i bet um doom is kind of like that too so it's a little hard to like talk to chat i found like i can't look away from the game all the time i uh i did an okay job of it i think with the vermentide because like i don't know if this is true for you probably is but like there's

no lag in my obs so i can look at the obs and use the chat over there and uh and play through obs while like while like thanking for donos and so like sometimes i'm just i'm just playing through obs and then go back to the main monitor till i till i hear a dono or a sub come yeah game streaming is a spot where triple monitors actually kind of work for you it's on the way okay um and what was i gonna say the oh another thing about vermintide is there are breaks where like you like you clear it and then you travel and that's a good opportunity to sync up with chat yeah yeah there's there's little moments of respite along the way but borderlands 2 is 30 hours by the way um is that two playthroughs i wonder that's one according to the internets um i i i will play it we do it all in one stream. I'm down. Just a whole weekend just doing that.

Just 30 straight hours of streaming Borderlands. It's not that fun. That's the idea. You're getting angry. It might be half that. I feel like I haven't explained it, but you play the whole thing, and then you play the exact same thing again,

and every monster is just leveled up a little bit. 30 hours might be both of those. Borderlands 2 is a huge game. Completing the story while doing only a fraction of the side quest takes about 30 hours. Yeah, and you want to do the side quest, because a lot of the side quests give you better weapons or better weapon upgrades.

You need to have a huge catalog. What I like about Borderlands is a lot of the side quests give you better weapons or better weapon upgrades. You need to have a huge catalog. What I like about Borderlands is a lot of games where you have a bunch of inventory, it's like, oh, sorry, you can only have two guns. Whereas with Borderlands, it's like, no, you can have 60 in your backpack and 100 grenades. And it's like, okay, that's all. And then you have a safe back in town where you store the other ones and then yeah the uh this this side quest according to me

especially if you're streaming you need to do the right amount of side quests if you don't do any if you just try to go right down the middle then it's too difficult you're underpowered and it looks like you suck even though you're hitting a headshot every damn time you look like a horrible player if you do too many side quests then it's straight up boring and you're overpowered and you can just crush the middle too easily for sure i noticed that it was much more difficult to play while streaming because when i when i usually like like we had played some practice game well i mean we've been playing all day it weren't practice games i just love the fucking game so we've been playing all goddamn day even before i was streaming and uh i mean there were

games where i just wouldn't go down at all like for 45 minutes straight or there would be entire missions where i didn't get touched i mean like i i never got touched once i killed a thousand there was one game where i killed a thousand enemies and i never went down and then we started streaming and it's just like you're fucking little rats are jabbing me. And I'm just like, someone get to 10 subs. You don't understand. Yeah. Dude, people in Escape from Tarkov, I had a lot of money.

People are like, where do you get all that money? Because my survival rate is twice as high when I'm not on stream. When I play this thing and I get to hear every sound and I'm not talking to you guys and i'm not like i people don't watch me because of my gameplay they watch me because of the chat interaction so it's non-stop it's constant i'm always reading chat and if i'm not i'm like telling the story you're talking to chat all the time you can barely hear any footsteps over my chit chat yeah yeah i when we play tarkov like as a group like i i won't say his name i will type it in here so you remember um remember this guy did you spell it right maybe i'm not sure here i'll capital it capitalize more appropriately oh yes all right never that's

what i needed we'd be playing and this motherfucker's trying to interview me and i'm just trying to smoke some pools in tarkov you know i'm sound i got my shit turned up so goddamn loud like like kyle's famous for that i'm just trying to hear like the faintest of footsteps because like i need every little advantage i can get in that game because i'm not super good and this guy's just like yeah so what what what's epic meal time like what are they what's tyler like from epic meal time i was like i don't know man i haven't seen that guy in like six fucking years you know i don't i don't fucking know like seem like a chill guy i guess you know i don't know what about muscles glasses he's really strong i'm just i don't fucking know god damn it i'm dead i'm dead he's on the rooftop on my body he's looting me larry can you get him larry can you

please get him and and kill so and so too while you're at it just friendly fire him and take his gear larry's i wonder if sometimes i think to myself like I watch Escape from Tarkov on stream and I'm like you know I should play this again this would be fun where are we on the wipe and is Larry rich enough to Larry will see this and he'll DM me on discord tell Woody I'm absolutely rich enough to equip it's harder than it used to so you haven't played for a couple wipes the hideout is way more difficult to stock than it used to be stuff is super expensive and um and of course gamma is nearly impossible now but larry is really good he might still be richer than any man needs to be yeah i uh i spoke to larry yesterday i i i got him to mod for my chat or i add him to the

mod list at least um a bunch of mods in there. I want to be on your VIP list, by the way. I will absolutely make that happen. I don't know how, but I'm sure your thing is just Waze Gamertag, so next time I'm in the creative dashboard. Yeah, I asked your mods to do it, and they said only you can do it, and then you were working. I was so focused I didn't know that you were in there.

They were like, oh, Harley's here, they'll be like, oh, Harley's here. And I'm like, oh, is Harley here? And they're like, no. All right. So Harley's not here. But Joe Rogan is dead, right? Joe Rogan is actually. Yeah, he dies every stream.

Joe Rogan dies every stream. Someone with a vaguely racist name is always coming every stream someone with a vaguely racist name is always yeah because i do only have two monitors that like one is obs and one is the game so i don't even have a discord for people like when i got done my discord was lit up with hey can you tweak this can you tweak that um so and so wants to be modded why haven't you modded so and so i'm like okay let me divvy out a little internet power to so and so so they don't feel left out and i'm not talking about you by the way i'm not somebody wanted to be a mod um but yeah i'll definitely get you on there it was funny that like in my chat obviously kyle's chat way fucking more active and bigger than mine and like people i had people like i'd look over and see semi-regularly someone

would be like well that's it i'm banned from kyle's chat all i did was call him gay that's a thing the culture from taylor's chat could bleed over into ours it's a little toxic we're fun boys having fun times it's a whole different thing i got fun mods having fun times i don't even look at that i never see anything but just happy people having a good old time asking questions about working out and and like like careers in fucking vermin time they're every now and then i'll just like i call i call uh fish freddy fast fingers because he's just so quick to i haven't seen a negative comment yet. Fish is a mod with attitude because like,

like if a Roz or, or Arahene or someone else who's like a regular mod of mine wants to be Arabic. Uh, I'm pretty high percentage. You have the Mujahideen. Taylor's chat is so fucking toxic that he has ISIS over there. Modding his chat.

They're like, you know, I burned eight Christians alive today, but that is some toxic shit in Taylor's chat. Can you believe they said that? I mean, most mods will just be like banned and no comment about it. Fish is like the only one who will like before he bans someone be like, fuck you, fuck you, you bitch. You're about to be banned. Try me again.

Just kidding. No second chance. Ban. I like it. I like it. I like it. It's just funny as a mod. I love it.

Yeah. Yeah. I got pretty much the whole OG Discord or mods and a bunch of other people wanted to ask you about working out all the time. That like common questions for you um yeah they're asking about workout stuff um i've had so many people ask me to like i don't know like do personal training for them that um i think i'm gonna do it and like monetize it in some way because there's just so many fucking people asking i think i'm gonna do like

a patreon or something where like i hook them up with like a meal plan based on like their current body weight and their goals and everything. And, you know, what they actually want to eat. Not everybody's going to be able to do a vertical diet and get them like a full like push pull leg split and hook them up with all my supplements and all that stuff. And then do like a weekly call with them or something like that. So we can I can kind of keep them motivated and i'll just make a discord for them so they can ping me anytime and i can kind of keep them motivated and then we'll do a call have to be a little expensive because it doesn't scale super high no i think i'm gonna limit it to like 10 or maybe 20 people because that's 20 is a lot to be dealing with and it'll be a couple hundred dollars it'll have to be like like right yeah you can't do that cheap if you a lot to be dealing with and it'll, it'll be a couple hundred dollars. It'll have to be like,

like, right. Yeah. You can't do that cheap. If you're going to talk to him every week like that. No, it's just going to take up way too much time. And it's a lot of work to do.

Coach Greg charges 36 grand a year just to set the tone. Yeah. Just to set the tone. The going rate is like, like this isn't something I set out thinking I would do, but like literally every day, five or six people are asking me to do it um and i've mentioned kind of like loosely i was like yeah maybe i'll do this thing and like two people like i will pay i will pay just let me know where to send the money i'm like all right well like so i'll

probably set that up sometime this week okay so if anybody's interested in that look i'm not trying to push anything anybody i'm not trying to like rob you of your of your shekels or anything but i i do like helping people i've been um i've been doing it for a while for like close friends and family members who like whether they had whether like my cousin scott just wanted to get big as fuck he is getting fucking swole by the way he's getting to scary mode already uh people are intimidated by him at this point he's like people when i walk i saw somebody had seen a while the other day they looked at me and said god damn what are you eating son i said it's more about what i'm injecting in my ass brother and i know it sounded a little gay but i'm so big they were scared as shit they didn't

say nothing he's just like getting fucking yoked over there taking my vitamins and minerals and taking taking derrick's vitamins and minerals too that he got from america health um so yeah um i'm gonna set up something like that i don't know exactly how much i'm gonna charge i really gotta do a little math and figure out what it's what my time is worth um because one one and what are you and i were talking about that um like business-wise today like one of the things we like to do anything in business is like our, our sort of our, I don't know, our, like what people think about us as like, quote unquote, businessmen or whatever is our, our, our reputation is a lot more important than like ever earning like a quick buck or anything like that. Um, when it comes to like doing, um, we're looking at doing a PK branded something. I'll just leave it

at that. And we looked at company a and it was like, well, this doesn't, I wouldn't want this. You know, there was a lot of money involved. We could have made a lot of money today. And we both were like, no, no, that's, that's not the one I would want. That's not the one that I want to like sell to my, my viewership. I don't want any of you to ever buy something from us and feel like, this is a piece of shit. If we're going to put PK Branding on something or if you're going to buy FPS Kyle's

Pussy Slaying Muscle Camp instructions or something like that, then I want to do a good job at it so yeah if you put your name on it you need happy customers otherwise you won't have the next customer like that's yeah it's the way it's got to be and i really like the idea that like in six or eight months there's going to be like 10 or 20 guys who have like really cool before and after pictures like like what i did i would fucking love that so i really want to try hard for some of these guys some of these guys are like 300 pounds, 350 pounds, somewhere in there. And some of them are like 130 pounds and they want to get to 150 pounds.

So it's a whole different recipe for what you can't just cookie cutter something like that. Do you think it's harder to start out really lean and get bigger or start out overweight and get muscular? With the end goal being like normal muscular build to be specific. I don't know. I think it's probably – they have different challenges in front of both of them that are probably equally difficult. Because the skinny guy is going to have

to all of a sudden start eating a lot more food that he's that's going to be really difficult for him to do whereas it sounds so much easier sounds awesome yeah yeah try try eating 3500 calories you have to understand you're gonna have to have a lot more sex it's rough you're not used to having that much sex oh punish me more oh you're gonna have to eat so much peanut butter not a delicious treat you say that but if you had said if you had to have sex 10 times tomorrow and then i was like all right two sessions out of the way two more to go and you well wait a minute wait a minute i have a blister yeah that is a lot of section one day yeah that's what you're talking about like tripling the volume of food you eat in a day like somebody who's eating like bullshit it's like like

there's just so much volume that you feel sick to your stomach sometimes so that's what the skinny guy has ahead of him whereas the big guy depending, depending on his metabolism, what needs to be done there doesn't have to eat as much right away. Cause he's already got a little energy laid on, laid, laid on him that he can, he can burn off of. So he can start off kind of lower on calories, like what I did. Um, and, uh, but, but like you can't add muscle if you're not eating and you got to eat a lot. And, uh, like the bigger your calorie surplus is, the more effective you are at getting the most out of every rep and that's kind of the the idea right to like maximize each rep's potential for protein synthesis build it you know every little ounce of you want to build as much muscle as

quickly as possible and i don't mean to pump my own tires too much but like so i went to this paramotor event last weekend and uh in the paramotor world i'm known say it like that so people are taking like candid pictures of me i had no idea now this week they're all going up online of me just like standing there doing nothing and uh it's like you know woody you dealt they're way bigger than you thought they were like there's a picture right there like you know i'm doing i'm bigger these pictures that I have in my mind's eye. Good for you. You look real good.

You are the best looking man of your age that I have ever seen who wasn't some sort of fitness celebrity or something like that. You're outrageously good shape. That's why I'm way too far.

No, it's really not. The amount of dudes with six-packs is already probably like... If we cut out those high school kids, that shit don't count. Especially those skinny as a rail fuckers. It's like, yeah, you got an Auschwitz six-pack. Get out of here. That don't count.

Your six-pack is faker than the Holocaust. Get out of here. That don't count. That's not, that's like a six pack is faker than the Holocaust. Get out of here. I don't want to see it. But, um, you know, like if you,

if you cut them out of the mix, then all of a sudden it's like, I don't know, 5%, 10% of guys have six packs. Like I, I don't remember the last time I saw a six pack in the wild. I guess you go to the beach.

You probably see more. It's not like I'm seeing a lot of dude shirtless, I suppose. Even at my gym though, at my gym, I would say that one out of 15 guys maybe has a six-pack.

None of them are in your age bracket, though. You're a top one person. This is what I like. Great on a curve. Right? Great on a curve, which we see. I'll take it. In your age bracket, I would say you are in the.2 percentile say you are smart in the 0.2 percentile smartest guy in the special needs class not the one percentile the one fifth of one percentile i would say like

like you are you are fitter than one out of you're a one in a thousand kind of fitness level guy one in 500 this went way farther than I thought. It's absolutely true. It's absolutely true. And as far as like just human men as a whole, oh, my God. Like you're so much fitter than like the average 25-year-old dude. Like as far as like your muscle definition and like your leanness level. Like, I don't know. You're in amazing shape.

We're all three killing it. We are the fittest podcast on the fucking internet that isn't some kind of a fucking muscle tech fitness podcast. Derek has a podcast. That's cheating. That's cheating. Also, the Olympic sprinters, they have a podcast.

They beat us too, but outside of a podcast that's literally built out of fucking pro athletes or bodybuilders, we're the fittest podcast by fucking far. This podcast is interesting. Those guys, they're not always at peak, right? No one's always at peak. So you see a guy talking who looks fit, but within the fit, just body fat and check and stuff but his

muscle mass is regular and then you're like ah but what he has done where he has been and could go again if he wanted to is outrageous these guys are subject matter experts they're just in between bulks and such did you see the mountain dog passed away i did wait you didn't know that yeah john meadows yeah i i i knew about it because derek made the video the day of um and uh but he was the guy that we always talked about his vascularity being like too much for us like when i'm pumped up my vascularity is a little freaky like it's too much for me i'm like no i don, I'm not digging this. This is a little much. My femoral arteries are bulging. It's too much.

But this guy is the next level. I think from years of tanning, had made his skin kind of like – and he's older, so your skin loses collagen as you get older. But he was so paper thin. Derek made that joke about me being able to die of a paper cut. I was so lean. This guy is so incredibly – like look at that. That's absurd. Anyway, he was a really good YouTuber.

That's how I knew him. He had some just really intense arm workouts that I would do occasionally. He was all about putting in tons and tons of work, and you can see that he has – And one of the nicest guys. tons and tons of work and you can see that he has and one of the nicest guys like it he had no enemies in the whole fitness industry which is an industry just filled with sniping and drama yeah um but everyone agreed he was the good guy of the industry he yeah definitely like one of the goodest of the guys i can't think of anybody who's more wholesome and just all about hard work and determination and like i would see him i remember seeing him coach this, this enormous

black man. And he was doing like, like, um, I think he was doing flat bench, um, dumb, uh, dumbbell press or something like that. And, and, uh, mountain dog is like helping him doing assisted reps. And the guy is just screaming because he's got like 200 pound dumbbells. And the enormous dumbbells that they don't even have at my gym. They're over a hundred, probably less than 200, but he's just, he's just like,

yeah, man, just one more, just one more. And he gets it one more. Come on, you got one. And I'm like,

motherfucker, you said one more. I can count. We had a contract. We had a verbal contract to one. And, uh, but no, I real shame. That a contract. We had a verbal contract. I can count to one. But no, real shame that guy passed. Damn, well, that's sad. Great YouTuber, great fitness influencer.

I don't know if his cause of death has been released, but he had a heart attack like eight months ago. I'm probably wrong, but close on that. And then a pulmonary embolism is that what happened currently or what happened zach wrote that or uh that's what happened currently i'm not sure what that means but i was going to theorize that it was heart related is it pulmonary your lungs yes doesn't that mean like a clot in your lungs right yeah like mean like a burst? It's a clot in your lungs, right? Yeah, like a burst something in your lungs, or a clot in your lungs or something. Yeah.

Okay. That sucks. I don't know what that means. He was, how old was he? 49. 49. All right, so I got another year left. Well, that just moves you up even closer in your age bracket.

Yes. I hate to be morbid, but one of the guys that was ahead of Woody in his age bracket yes yeah to be morbid but one of the guys that was ahead of woody in his age bracket no longer in the left the race yeah it's not i don't even like to say that i know i jumped on board and i wanted yeah i didn't like that though it wasn't i don't even think that's funny no um it rest in peace to that guy um really good youtuber i watched his videos a lot um i would use yeah i've watched a couple of his like uh correct form videos that they're really good great form there's another guy who does that too he's black and he's a friend of greg doucette's svelte maybe do you know this don't watch him i don't know he does it really well he'll take like either like pro bodybuilders

or professional fitness like model type dudes like a will tennison look at their workouts and evaluate whether they're good or bad and their form and stuff he does he you might like his videos yeah but i don't anybody looking at my form i do the best i can so i live stream myself working out and i was mentally prepared for just a roast fest of everyone saying that it would it it was really uh really kind of people were nice and which isn't what i expected it's not typical for me and um the guys that did have form correction like my bench press they thought i should arch my back they seemed like they were knowledgeable right and trying to be helpful not roasting so yeah that's cool that's that's really

good it wasn't bad at all i'd do it again i think i did it twice i record myself sometimes and like get a look at it and like i do the best form that i can like because i don't give a shit how much weight i'm lifting um it's just i'm trying to get as much out of every rep as far as just i'm trying to tear some muscle fiber right so like i don't care if i don't get 10 or 11 or 12. I hope I don't. It's a better workout if I don't. That was the thing that surprised me about the stream. I got a really good workout because I was trying to impress everyone by lifting like a little more. And, uh, but they didn't care about my weight at all.

They don't care that like, and when I watch people work out, I don't care about their weights, but somehow when you reverse it, I do like, I was like, oh like oh they're all gonna judge me about overhead pressing you know 135 or whatever and uh no one did no one did at all that wasn't that wasn't a thing so yeah i don't think people really understand like what's going on either like like oh well i when i bench press i do i do this much for this many reps i'm like oh okay what do okay. What do you do then? Because after I'm done with my bench press, there are eight more exercises to do, three sets of 12 each. And then I go do something silly for extra. Then I just start doing pushups till I fail. And when you do it matters too. So I think I do pull-ups at the start of my routine and you do it matters too. Like, so I think I do pull-ups at the start of my routine and you do

them at the end. And that comparison is not fair. I have a push day where I do an overhead press for people that are, that's a barbell where you go like that. Yeah. And one push day I do it as my first exercise. And the other, I do it as my last. And the difference is like 135 pounds versus 85. Like it's, it's bigger than you might guess. Yeah. So it's hard to compare. I try to do the things that I'm worse at at the beginning of my workouts so I can get the most work done on that exercise to hopefully produce better results. If I'm really good at something, I'm really good at dips, so I usually shift that to the end

because I have a hard time getting to failure on dips sometimes. I hate to we i hate to say i shrug i'm like ah we're stronger again but like that happens sometimes i'm like shit i should have thrown another like micro plate on or whatever but if i do it at the end i can almost always get to failure by just pumping out one or two extra reps but if i do it at the beginning of my workout i'm just going to crank it out and i don't feel like i get as good of a workout. If my triceps are already fucked up and my lower pecs are already fucked up, then when I get to those dips at the end, they seem to count more.

I'm already strong at that. With overhead press, which is something I'm not great at, I usually shift out of the front and try to get that done. I've stopped doing barbell overhead press and switch to a machine, though. I have a i have a convert um i felt like i wasn't staying as stable as i'd like to be and uh i felt like i could really

go slow and and uh with the machine and i don't know i just got better like mind muscle things do you do standing overhead press or like seated no i'm seated i'm seated and uh and i'm and i'm in a machine so i'm able to just really decide how much weight I want to use. So I switched the standing overhead press to that. And I stopped doing incline bench and put flat bench there. And I added flat bench dumbbell press in, like just completely extra. And then I also added pec deck on both of my uh push days just extra on top of everything the peck deck gives such a really satisfying feeling of like a connection of like okay i can

i can tell this is like like my my tits are hard what i try to do like i try to like look down at my pecs and like make them do their thing like i'm just like like fuck you fuckers this isn't an arm exercise let's go and like by the time i'm done my titties are just sore as fuck like i can like all through here i'm gonna do that with cable crossover like the the same sort of mind muscle like get in i don't like it i've been working out well it took me a little while to get back into the full groove uh after i came back from my trip and now i'm like i guess i'm firing all cylinders lately and i'm about to go on the trip so your trips aren't like smokations where you're chilling on a couch or something like

a fucking like physical activity anyway so like if think of it as fucking cardio yeah it should be this one's also shorter. I think it's like eight days. I think the stupidest question I got asked on Twitter... I hate to be mean to people, but this guy was like, Hey, Kyle, I heard you like to do the stationary bike for cardio. Have you considered doing mountain biking instead?

And I was just like, Alright, first of all, you don't know me very well, clearly. I hate being outside i hate bicycles i don't like being in the woods being around people or outdoor activities not fond of mountains also i really like the air conditioning my bathroom being nearby not wearing one of those silly suits that mountain bikers wear not having a helmet and i just kept going for like 15 points and somebody was like damn you tore that guy a new one just stay on the stationary he might as well have been like hey have you thought about beach volleyball for a good for a good fitness like yeah i've thought about it it's it's a

nightmare of mine like why don't i just get get what are the uh the the navy seals call it getting wet and sandy doing the sugar cookie, where you go out, you get in the salt water, and then you roll sand everywhere. That's your cardio? Now that your nipples are rubbing sandpaper inside your shirt, now let's all throw a fucking log on our shoulders like we're Schwarzenegger and go for a walk.

Kyle's next cardio is making snow angels in the sand. Yeah, fuck that shit. Cardio is making snow angels in the sand. Yeah. Fuck that. Cardio is hard enough. First of all, best cardio anybody in the world can do is the cardio that you do. Right. I really liked that point. Like if your cardio is playing dodgeball, you fucking mastered. I wish mine was, I wish mine was, I wish there was like a gym nearby and go and play dodgeball with a bunch of dudes around my age. I'd love that. It'd be so much fun. But the cardio that I do is the cardio that's most efficient with my time because I want to, I hate it. I hate it. Right? So the most efficient thing is either an elliptical or an exercise bike because they're the easiest ways to get my heart rate to 130 and, and just try to take my mind to another place. I'm literally, sometimes I literally close my eyes and like meditate

to try to go to like another place that's not here. And my watch is going to tell me when I'm done, right? Because I hate it. I hate it. But you got to do it. If you're going to get like stupid fucking like lean, you're going to have to do cardio. Yeah.

You can get six pack without cardio. Like don't get me wrong. You can diet your way to i i know people like what do you do for cardio i avoided it all possible i don't like it i hate it like jackie that's what i do for cardio you don't tell them about that that's the old saying cardio occurs in the kitchen yeah no the cardio i like the most kind of like i guess the opposite of if i could choose cardio it would be playing instead of working right like definitely i would too i would too but i i have no way to do that and also like i want to get it done like a sorry i'm sure that's annoying uh i just want to get it done

right so like i do that fasted cardio so either it's either right when i wake up or like sometimes i wake up and i don't want to do it so i'll eat breakfast but in my head as i'm eating breakfast i'm like you done fucked up now you gotta wait until you're hungry again and work out you're taking three showers today bucko see how you like that so i don't know it's uh but but yeah i get my heart rate to 130 i hold it there for however long i'm doing at that point depends on what point of a weight cut you're in how hard in the paint you need to go right now i'm just doing 20 minutes every day but uh in the middle at the end of that weight cut i was doing well over an hour um So it was not fun.

But an hour goes fast when you're watching Seinfeld or something like that. And once it's done, you feel good. Yeah, that's the only way for me to get – like I've added cardio to like – I know people say do it before your workout, but like I like doing it at the end. I like – Separate. I should separate it, but just my schedule gets annoying that way. I know.

I'm over here like, wait, you're doing it? I'm doing my best at it. I have an elliptical and a treadmill. And in my head, I'm like, the treadmill is the big scary thing. You don't want to do the elliptical. It'll be kind of fun. And it's like three strides in. It's like, oh, this is basically the same as a treadmill.

You know the meme where the one box is like, why are we getting twenty five dollars an hour? And the other one's like, I'm getting 15 and I'm over here. You guys are getting paid. You're all doing cardio. I have to split it up because like like I try and hit pretty much until failure on my last set in the last couple of reps when I'm lifting. And so by the time like I'm done with the workout, even if it's push or pull day and it's most it's like all upper body stuff, like I'm still pretty pooped. And so after like 20 minutes on the elliptical, it's like it feels like it's been an hour. Cardio is bad for gains. Cardio is bad for gains,

especially if you're natural. One of the things that Derek talked about is like keeping as much of my muscle on as we could during the weight cut. we really did a good job you've convinced me i'm quitting cardio i gotta add more gaming i i mean i mean if all you did was lift and sleep all day that would be prime that's prime muscle building if we're being honest it's just you wake up long enough to lift and then you sleep for the next 22 hours and you wake up long enough to lift right like that that would be like the best way to build muscle but like close to home but uh um from the from like the the videos that i've read the research i've done it really seems like the two need to be as separate as possible so i would try to separate them by 12 hours if i could and by a minimum of like, huh?

Well, you wake up and do the cardio. Your cardio demands that you stop working, Taylor. I would wake up at like 6 p.m. and do cardio immediately, right? And then I would at like 3 a.m., you know, nine hours later. You'd wake up at the crack of dinner. Crack of dinner, crack of dinner. Just invert it. If I said I was waking up at 6 a.m it'd be

a-okay though like i'm a fucking dairy farmer then it's different like what am i dairy farmer i need to be able to milk the cows no you have at 6 p.m because that's when you do things i'm just cracking jokes i know i know um but yeah i wake up at 6 p.m do the cardio nine hours later 3 a.m it's time to lift um stay up for uh till till the stems wore off uh go to sleep crash I wake up at 6 p.m., do the cardio. Nine hours later, 3 a.m., it's time to lift. Stay up until the stems wore off. Go to sleep, crash out, wake up at 6 and do it again. Does it have to be 12 hours? Is there a reason you picked that? Yeah, as long as possible is from my understanding.

Because if it was nine hours, it'd be closer, right? If 12 is the most separation you can get in a day. Otherwise, you're cutting closer the next day. The thing is, I was I would especially in the weight cut. I would take stems both for my cardio and for my lifting because I was just trying to get his keep my heart rate up all the fucking time. When I lift, my heart rate stays above one hundred fifteen for the whole hour. At least we want a heart rate monitor. I love mine is at all.

I love my Samsung watch. Um, I, I, I only wear it really when I work out, but, uh, I it's, it's excellent because like, it's got, um, it's got like multiple workouts that you can program it for. So, and one of them, it says other. So I use that for like weightlifting. I just click other and a timer starts and also a heart rate monitor. And when you're done, when you click finish, it shows you like the full graph, right? Over time of like heart rate did and your, and it shows you your full calorie burn, um, throughout that time. And I'm able to burn like, I think it's, it's close to three, I think it's close to 400 calories in a weightlifting session in an hour, which is like about what it's a lot. It's about what I would do if I were on the elliptical for that period of time. Cause my heart rate really goes high.

If I'm like in an intense, like lift or something like that, it, um, like, like, uh, cause I do a super set for, uh, for delts, right. Where I've got 45 or 50 pounders and I do, I do them like this. And then I switched down to like 40 pounders and then i do them like this and i i do 12 reps of each back to back and so by the third set i'm just screaming with pain and my heart rate is up to 150 and then it takes a while for it to like go back down hurt mine get weaker but it's not i don't actually hurt them like they burn I definitely take, yeah, maybe they burn. But I definitely take them to the point where I can't lift anymore. Like, I literally couldn't.

And, you know, I'll go all the way down to where I can barely lift the fives. Yep. But they just weaken it. It's not actually that torturous. It's like lactic acid burn is the pain I'm feeling. Like, I certainly am not, like, hurting. Like, it's not like muscles or tearing or injury pain. It's all that lactic acid burning pain.

And the real thing is my chest is just feeling tight by the end because my heart's just pounding. I'm having a hard time getting enough air because I'm just exerting myself so much by doing, what is that, 12, 36, 72 reps of delt work in nine minutes. So I do it three minutes, do do it three three minutes do it again three minutes do it again three minutes i wonder what i do i i try to just give myself three minutes rest for everything um that's worked i i've moved that around but i i don't know i feel like i i was

getting the most work done um while like uh not spending three hours in the fucking gym like i think maybe five minutes rest might might be ideal for like getting the most work in and maybe that's better for growth but three minutes is a lot more manageable yeah five minutes we should get off the fitness talk but i'll do it forever i do five minutes for big exercises so like um i don't know like squats be a good example right it works freaking every muscle seemingly from the neck down so i take bigger rest but if i were to do i do incline bicep curls where i sit on the chair and go like that and uh there's much shorter rest one little muscle group you're hitting yeah so that's i always try to just like you guys are saying how you order it i just do compounds first because i feel like if i like like the heavy compound lifts like i do those ones first at the top of the workout and like so for pull day like

whatever the hardest shit i'm doing like if i'm doing really heavy seated whatever it is and then at the end it's like okay now you can do reverse curls or you can do like preacher curls. I try to keep muscle groups together. That's another thing I try to do. Like parts of push day are just such pure tricep and parts of push day are chest heavy. And I try to do like the tricep stuff all grouped together. Like I don't want to do like. That's it.

I try to keep them apart. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not saying. I don't know that I'm right. If there's an exercise that really smashes my triceps, I'll try to get one that sort of hits the chest, like maybe crossovers, and then go back to triceps so that I can do it harder each time. I feel like I can work harder if it's virtually resting in between. Yeah, I felt like I was losing the pump. I would get a crazy pump.

I would do bench press and then do tricepp cables and my triceps would just be enormous like i like look back in the mirror and it's just like silly yeah and uh and then i'd be like all right now let's do two chest exercises i'm like oh the pump in my tricep went away i i think it didn't seem right it seemed like when you keep riding that high it's occurred to me when you're 48 your preference will grow towards rest on that tricep between exercises. Yeah, maybe so. Maybe I can't lift a weight when I'm 48 because of all the drug abuse and hard workouts. Yeah. By that point, you'll be just a pot addict living on the street. pot addict living on the street. Someone was like,

someone was like, aren't you worried your heart and liver are just going to fail any day now from all the drugs? And I'm just like, everything we do is about, is longevity based. Like, all the stuff I take is about, like, we get my liver enzymes checked, like, every couple of months. Like, my heart is the healthiest

it's ever been since it's been measured you know like as far as blood pressure resting heart rate all that stuff like cholesterol all those numbers are like super duper healthy um we're looking at words only derek knows how's your liver i have i have a team of scientists that look at my work every three months. I don't know about you, Carl, but, uh, um, you know,

I, but, but like a lot of the stuff we do is, like I said, longevity based. It's about living a little bit longer. Um, all that giant handful of fucking pills I take every day is a little bit of

that. And, uh, and you know, getting regular blood work, um, which I don't think anybody really does like getting that regular blood work and finding out.

People get annual physicals. Three or four months. Oh, man. Yeah, that's often. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's good. Like if something did start to go the way you wouldn't want, you wouldn't want to wait 18 months to figure it out.

Yeah, like if I had been accidentally like taking too much and like I don't know what it would be. But let's just say iron. If I had way too much iron, like and like, I don't, I don't know what it would be like, but let's just say iron. If I, if I had way too much iron, like I was getting too much from my diet, plus I'm supplementing too much. Plus maybe like, maybe like one of the drinks that I drink just had a bunch of iron in it. And all of a sudden, like that's messing up my liver. I don't even know. I don't know if iron does mess with your liver, but like, I would know,

I would know like within like 90 days of starting to do something silly like that, that, Oh, that iron levels high. That's not good for your liver all right well we take this pill out of the mix now so really able to dial that stuff in um so yeah i'm the healthiest i've ever been have to be like it's funny that you're having to defend this right now like as if they're like like someone just you talked about this with like uh your guy friends like apparently you've had bad experience with shitty guy friends where they're just like trying to poke holes and like no no actually it's only i would have been the gun guy if i'd have thought of it and implemented it and done it like oh yeah kyle's in j sure kyle's jacked and in great shape but what if his heart isn't quite as healthy and it it's like, what's your heart at, bud?

Like when's the last time you went in and like got stuck and you know how you're doing? Like probably not, not that much. I don't know. I'm I'm I've enjoyed it so much. It's, it's a fitness. I know fitness talk and get a little tiring, but it's really more of a lifestyle that I've just really enjoyed. Like, like, you know, taking on, it's, it's really more of a lifestyle that i've just really enjoyed uh like like you know taking on it's it's a lot of fun and uh it's uh i enjoy like consuming the content around it you know all those youtubers that make stuff i do a lot of research online like that just googling like what is the best way to do this what is the best way to do that

it's fun to learn and uh and to kind of be a resource for people i enjoy that at least for me it's it's not every day that like i'm proud of me right who walks around proud of like you might be happy with who you are but like you know like yeah you've fucking done a thing you've gotten fitter you know good for you yeah yeah i spoke to a guy on the weights. Feels good. Yeah. I talked to a guy today. He was having a rough time. He's he's like dealing with alcoholism. And I won't use your name, buddy. But, you know, thinking about you, he was dealing with alcoholism and he's on antidepressants and he's not in a place where he can like use marijuana to kind of because I was like you know like look I'm not a doctor and maybe this isn't the best advice coming from a fucking felon but like marijuana really help checks a lot of the boxes of the things you have issues with it's like yeah it's not it really does you know but I'm not I can't like where I live and and but we talked for like a I don't know 20-30 minutes today about like how to like told him he needed to like i was like i'm not gonna tell you to cut down on the alcohol because

i know that's hard that's the crutch that you're leaning on right now that's keeping you from falling down but like maybe like talk to your doctor about some of the drug interactions and like try to cut out like the because he's on um what's that antidepressant that Wings was on? I was also on it at once. Prozac, Welbutrin, Zoloft. L something? Wait, lithium? No, no, no, not lithium. That's an antipsychotic. Any with an L.

Lunesta. No, that's sleeping. That's sleeping. I don't know. Lipotin. It's not Lipitor because that's the heart medicine. In any case, he was on the antidepressant that Wings was on. It was the one that I was on for a little while.

The reason I was on it, by the way, was part of my defense. Lexapro. Part of my defense in court was going to be that I was taking the marijuana to like self-treat myself for depression and PTSD. So I went and got diagnosed with depression and PTSD. And they prescribed the – say it one more time. Lexapro.

I don't know why I can't remember that. And so I took that for a number of months. And that's that shit I went cold turkey off of because it was making me – I describe it like this. It's like for someone whose happiness level stays at a one to three, it's awesome. Because now we're going to slide that bar. It's not going to get wider though. We're just going to slide the one to three over here so that you live between four and six

but the problem is you're never gonna be happier than a six the good thing is now you're never sadder than a four but and and if you're like going through an awful time in your life that's a really good thing that that's a crutch to lean on stay between four and six because you might fucking off yourself if you're between one and three you might drop down to negative one and that's game over for you but i wouldn't have that problem and i just felt like god damn it i haven't been in eight in months and it's because of this fucking pill like i'm not taking joy in life anymore and it's because of this fucking pill like there's enough stress already with this like trial looming over me and everything being at a four or five or six all the time is just dreadful and so i went cold turkey on that

shit that's when i was getting those like brain jolts i was about to say cold turkey is often not recommended for lexapro 100 not recommended and i didn't give a fuck i wanted off it took me about a month to like get through the side effects because it takes a while to bleed out of your system. It's one of those drugs that you build up. No one has ever described a brain jolt or a brain flash to me in a way that I get it. It's like, you ever like, if the lights came on and quickly you were like, oh, but then that fades away? That, but in your brain. It's like your brain gets like like

i can't be good for you no it feels awful it felt like a small electrical shock that went that was like in my brain but i felt go through my whole nervous system like down my shoulders into my fingers it was just like and i'm like ah that was that was very uncomfortable and then it would slowly fade away and then you would get another one like 10 minutes later. And that happened continuously all the fucking time for weeks. It was really like every 10 minutes or be like every 10 minutes, three times. And then that might be that day. No,

it was frequent. It was like several times an hour, like, like three or four times an hour, at least it would just jolt. And you'd be like, Oh, that felt really uncomfortable

right right then i did not like that and then it's all right now we're good now we're good it was just like every now and then someone was hitting your dog shot collar or something like that not that intense not necessarily painful just very uncomfortable and uh and also orienting maybe disorienting to some extent but only briefly like i it wasn't like you're gonna be driving like go off the road or anything no you're right. No, you're right back at it. You're right back at it. But it was awful going off that stuff cold turkey. And he said that he tried to quit, and it was like three days into it.

And he was having the same thing I'm describing. He's like, I had to go right back on. And I'm just like, I don't know, man. But I don't know. I hope I helped him out a little bit. I told him, you know, get out, do that 10 minute walk after every meal, because just doing a little bit of cardio every day, um, and getting your insulin resistance in, in check and prevent some of the fluctuations in mood and like, and, uh, but the alcohol mixed with the ADHD medicine mixed with that antidepressant

and he's on some other stuff too, is, uh, didn't sound good to me. So this is my recipe for depression. I hand it out all the time and I think I'm on target with this and it overlaps a lot with yours. Three pieces, three, three ingredients in this recipe. The first is some sort of fitness element, ideally in sunshine, right? And we'll take sunshine. We'll take fitness. If we do both at the same time, that's super awesome.

I don't care what it is. If I can go jump in an outside trampoline, this will be part of your recipe for depression. The second one, relationships, family, friends, you can get that stuff sort of fixed. You know, a lot of happiness and sense of well-being comes from your interactions with other people. So your family, your friends, if you get those relationships sort of reignited, that's good. Outdoor fitness, family relationships. The last one, some kind of sense of accomplishment would be great. That could be going to school. That could be, I don't know, just achieving anything. And you do those three things and you're probably out of depression. Yeah. He's in a tough spot right because they um where he is there's i think there's a little bit of a thing with covid and also like he works from home um and it does his like classes from home so that allows him to drink without any like over watch you know you go to work smelling like vodka they're like oh we're gonna need to

fix this you go to school smelling a vodka they're like like, what are you doing, Tommy? But like, you can be at home, like, you know, teleconferencing to work and to school and they can't smell the gin on your breath or whatever your beverage of choice is. And you can just get away with it. I think that's, that's part of his problem. There's no real accountability there. And alcohol is a crutch that's very easy to lean on, you know, like, like it on. It's so socially acceptable. It's everywhere. And it's effective. If you're feeling like shit, you're depressed, you're bored, and you just want something that makes your existence a little bit more tolerable,

shit, a glass of vodka will do it. But you're always chasing it then because with hangovers, you're borrowing happiness from the next day, and only like reinforces the cycle he's in. And doing that on antidepressants is like genuine, like you're fucking your neurochemistry there. Like they even say like if you're taking antidepressants, SSRIs in particular, I don't know if I think Lexapro is. It's like do not over drink on this like because you're going to basically beat what it's doing. drink on this like because you're going to basically beat what it's doing and it's you know you've basically trained your brain to only release feel-good chemicals with this one specific stimulus and so like you're taking it from the four to six that like where it would be where

it's still kind of miserable not that fun and like now even with it you're one to three and now you take like the pills or the alcohol out and like you're just in a very very delicate place that's sad hopefully one of the problems with depressions is the things that fix depression are the least attractive things to you right like if you're depressed and what really feels good is alcohol and dumb ass woody's over there telling you to jump on an outdoor trampoline dude that's not what you feel like doing, but it is good for you. If you just fucking do it, even though it's not what you feel like doing. Yeah. I think baby steps that like, like put, put some fucking headphones up.

No, I'm not saying that what you're saying is too far, but like put some fucking headphones on, put some music on you like and do that 10 minute walk out in the sunshine. And then come back and you're just going to feel so good. Then take a shower after that like anytime i anytime like i'm feeling like lazy or whatever and i actually get up and i do the thing whatever that is lifting cardio or just you know coming and like doing whatever you know like cleaning my house then like that shower that i take after that and then like it is just i'm like holy fuck i'm glad we got out of the goddamn

bed did the thing and took a shower god I feel good oh I feel so clean and like like I like like just sweating out like a little bit of like sweat just it feels like it feels like you're removing toxins that that were just making you a piece of shit I love this image he's showing you know what you could add changing your sheets it's fucking amazing to like climb into a maid bed with clean sheets it's boys change those sheets at least twice a month okay it's good if you guys got some acne going on on your face or something it's because your pillowcase is nasty that's a big part of it you got to wash your face twice a day got to change that pillowcase throw a towel on on it like Woody talked about before if you need to on your pillowcase.

But you've got to have clean sheets. Clean sheets, clean pillowcases. Nobody wants to fuck you in your rank bed, and you're not going to feel good in there. Clean sheets feel so good. Nice, crisp, clean sheets. Yeah. You change your sheets, and you'll be like, ah, Woody was on to something. Yeah. All right. Well and you'll be like, ah, Woody was on to something. Yeah.

All right. Well, that's probably a wrap. I like the end of the show. I'd like the whole show. I hope other people thought the show was as good as I do. I don't always sit here and think, you know, fucking winner. But I liked it. We do good work around here.

Check out our links below. Check us out on Twitch. And I hope to see you guys out in the Twitch stream Saturday. Hopefully we can lure Mr. Gamertag into playing something with us. That'd be pretty chill. And maybe I can get HarleyPlays to come play with us.

And that'd be pretty fun. I appreciate the invite. I'm out of town Saturday. Another time. Another day. Yeah. We'll out of town Saturday. Another time. Another day. Yeah. We'll find another ringer. Oh, and grease that goddamn chair. It's a knife and I'm twiddling with it and

I'm sorry. Oh, they hate that. They hate that. And that's the show. Well, I'll lube it.