Painkiller Already - PKA 560 W/ Danny Mullen - Taylor Medical Update, Danny was Canceled, Subreddit of the Week

Episode Date: September 11, 2021

PKA 560, our guest Danny Mullen is back. Taylor? This episode of PKA brought to you by Blue Chew and Feels CBD. Brand new one. We'll hear more about that later. Danny, looking fit as always. Looking good. Good to have you back. That's that COVID diet I had in August. Went to Vegas and I guess it was just the absolute epicenter of this alleged Delta thingy. And I was in nightclubs, bender weekend hangover.

But then suddenly, I remember I was eating some pinkberry frozen yogurt. And suddenly it felt like I'd been dropped onto the Hillary step of Everest with no coat. Freezing. Just started teeth chattering and um and then suddenly it went from down like those somewhere below zero body temperature to that night i soaked through my sheets five times you'd have to get up shower off all the sweat come back i think i was okay sweat through another pair of underwear and a t-shirt have to find a new spot on the bed to sleep in and i had it for about 15 days and that's but how many days were like that there were 11 days like there there was one day where serious weight yeah yeah yeah yeah not much

of an appetite and um there was one day where i had that like um that stage of grief where you're negotiating with God. I was like, oh, I should have gotten the vaccine. I should have gotten the fucking vaccine. If I could go back in time, I would. And then now that it's passed, I just don't want to get the vaccine again. But there was a day. There was a day. That's good.

We shouldn't learn from it. I mean, for you going to like, I like how you said, like, I went crazy. I went to a nightclub. I was drinking. I didn't even wear a mask. It's like I saw a video of you four months ago, open mouth kissing homeless people. Yeah, that was probably about a year ago. A year ago.

OK. But yeah, the point you're making is absolutely valid. Are you all better now? Yeah, man, i feel great i've been enjoying that you know i i might get the vaccine again just to see what free health care is like i think i use it it's free anyway but that's that was the point oh yeah how much uh did like you enjoy regaining the weight because if you're like me are you you're not like a naturally fat person but like when i would get the flu and i would lose like me you're not like a naturally fat person but like

when i would get the flu and i would lose like six pounds when i like got back and my appetite was ravenous i never thought like let's take advantage of the lost weight it was like no you're in you know the world is in your debt do whatever you want now eat anything did you yeah i mean i my it was the perfect time it was during my break from uploading videos to my main channel and I was home with my mom and my mom just gave me the standard fifth grade home from school with the flu treatment. So she was ordering sushi, cooking me spaghetti. So I really wasn't that deprived. What the hard part for me wasn't gaining weight back it's i went back to jujitsu and i felt like i had a plastic grocery bag over my head and mouth when i was rolling for like the first two weeks it was

suffocating how much damage this thing had done to my cardio and my lungs did you feel weaker like in your muscles or anything oh yeah i felt terrible do you think your cardio damage was from the inactivity or just your lungs not being as effective as they used to be probably inactivity i mean it was like a month that i took completely off of going to the gym because i didn't want to like the day my fever broke and throw the key on hop back on the mat yeah man but uh came back earlier those people might want to code it might one of might wanted to have had covet too they could have been trying to make weight. Yeah, right? You just sort of, I don't know,

hogged it to yourself. And then even if there weren't weight issues, it's sort of like training with a weighted vest. It adds resistance and it builds character. Yeah, you'll be a Sherpa before you know it. What is Kyle doing? Kyle was having a seizure disorder. Kyle has

strep. I think I should quiet down and let Kyle tell his story. It's only been told on PKN. Yeah, I've been trying to think where we begin. I don't know. I've got a pretty bad fever. My brain is a little slow. I guess I've been sick since last PKA, a little slow. I guess I've been sick since like last PKA, like maybe since that Friday, you know, the day after obviously. And it's, it's honestly, it's COVID symptoms, but I don't think I have COVID. And I was, I was going to get tested for COVID today when I went to urgent care, but there was some confusion. And like I said, like I'm something about like whatever's going on with me right now, I'm a little slow. So I asked how much the test was.

And she's like, oh, it's $221. And I'm like, but what she was trying to say was like, that's the cost of your entire appointment plus a COVID test. I think the COVID test was going to be like $50 or something. Can you opt for just the test? Or I guess you had to go anyway and get your dot medicine and everything because you're very sick. Slide the test under the door and I'll give it to myself

and no, I've got to have the appointment and yeah, but like I misunderstood her and I thought the test was like $220 and I was like, well, no, I don't want that. She's like, oh, okay, so it'll be $150 then or like or and I was just like, oh, but I didn't want to like I didn't want to like or like or and i was just like oh but i didn't want to like i didn't want to like reveal that i was an idiot and that well i didn't want to be like

you're an idiot you described this whole thing poorly i just wanted to get into the doctor's office because i was kind of iffy and i figured maybe i could ask for one back there and i did but he didn't give me one he forgot because my doctor is 80 87 years old. Great guy. Take him out. I didn't follow. A COVID test. That would have been important. Today I woke up. I'll go back a little bit. Today I woke up and I felt really bad.

My throat was so sore that I couldn't really swallow. I was eating breakfast and I could feel the food sticking to my throat and sliding down. It was like I was eating breakfast and I could feel the food like sticking to my throat and sliding down. It was like I was eating sandpaper and I'm using that chloroseptic spray and I'm taking like tons of over-the-counter pain medicines and it's just not cutting the edge off. And I'm just laying there trying to like sleep. It was like 8 a.m. and I had woken up because I went to bed early and I was trying to sleep some more. Like I was just trying to sleep until noon or something to not to like maybe wake up and be better. But I was just laying there

in pain and I was like, you know what? Fuck this. What am I doing? And I called the doctor's office and they're like, yeah, come in at one. You can just walk right into the urgent care. And so that's what I did. And because I could feel my lymph nodes are really swollen and tender. And that says to me, infection, not virus. That's, that's, that's a,

that's a strep throat thing. Your lymph nodes swell when they're dealing with an infection of one kind or another. And these specifically would indicate a strep throat type situation. So I went in and he was like, yep, that's strep. You nailed it.

And I'm like, I always do. I always do. I don't know why I hate you fuckers. I just need you to write the scripts, Doc. I don't remember the last time one of you people figured something out for me. Derek was the last

one of you people, quote unquote, that figured something out that I couldn't figure out. He's only sort of one of you. And he's not even a real fucking doctor. Oh, but they won't say that to his face. I mean, I'll say it mean i'll say the shit out of that 87 year old oh he came to pound town um so yeah he um so he prescribed me something different yeah that's when you fuck the guy

that doctor would have wished for the rest of his very short life that he had. Maybe. Maybe. So I don't know. How long have you been on antibiotics? It's in hours, right? It's in hours. So he was like, all right, I'm going to prescribe you some steroids, which I knew.

I was like, prednisone? He's like, yeah. And in my head, I immediately went, I'm not going to take it. And he's like, and I'm going to get you some moxicillin. And if you want, we can give you a shot of penicillin and i was like how much is that because you know i don't have insurance he's like i'm like how much is that he's like 25 and i'm like fuck yeah give me two like let's go give me a couple to take home like have any synthol while you're at it just a horrible stomach problem because there's no flora in there. You do all the work.

Oh, I immediately, as soon as I got home, I started taking probiotics because I know I'm nuking my whole system today. So basically, he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll send the nurse around with a shot. So she comes in. It's this cute little black lady. And she's like, I heard you wanted a shot. And I'm like, you're goddamn right I want a shot. I am very sick. I was like, how do we do this? She like she's like well it's going in your butt and i'm

like all right like like pants all the way off like like do you want me to charlie brown this or like how are we going to do it like why i said winnie the pooh as you want me to winnie pooh this thing l carnitine track marks across your ass back and forth for the last 10 years so so i i see the needle and needle and I can tell like right away that it's a two inch long 25 gauge needle or maybe 27 gauge, something like that. And I'm like, could I inject myself? And she's like, ha ha ha ha.

And I'm like, no, really, could I do it? She's like, well, where would you put it? Like, she's like testing me. I'm like, right here in my upper glute. And she's like, have you done that before? I'm like, oh, yeah, every day. I do it every day. She's like, well, all right.

Sure. Here you go. Also, sir, you shouldn't use that much penicillin. She's got it full of, you know, she's got three milliliters of fucking penicillin. And I didn't know the consistency so like i aspirated it because she didn't do a good job you know i got the last of the air bubbles out i was i was looking at her like it's a good thing i took over this operation are you sure you're where's the real nurse at because you just handed me a syringe and this is not properly aspirated

so like she's like are you sure you know and i was like pow and i'm like all the way into my ass with this two-inch needle. I'm like, yeah, I know what I'm doing. I do this literally every day. She's like, you're going really slow. I'm like, yeah, you bruise if you go fast. This is three milliliters of liquid. She's like, ah, I guess I've never injected myself. I'm like, yeah, it really hurts. I've noticed that you guys always slam them down. That really hurts. It makes a knot and it bruises. She's like, huh, okay, you learn something every day. And I'm like, you shouldn't be learning anything right now.

Not from me. Not from me. I should not be teaching you anything right now, lady. That's the nurse that couldn't hack it at the hospital. I don't know what her deal was, but I took a solid 45 seconds to get it all in, which is still fast. But there's a black lady staring at my ass crack while I do this.

I wanted to get the show on the road and get out of there and get to my real... Not that those aren't real antibiotics, but I wanted to get to the fucking drugstore and get my amoxicillin. And so got out of there at fucking, I don't know, $200 total or something like that for the whole shebang. The point of the shot

is that it starts working instantly and you're a little bit of a... Yeah, this yeah this is a huge like like the penicillin would probably just do the trick on its own like adding in like a full regimen of regimen of amoxicillin seems like overkill to me uh in my medical opinion but i'm certainly always say just take it until you feel a little better yeah yeah absolutely yeah the corollary to that is get your medical advice from comedy podcasts. When you see the sun rising on a new day, the sun always continues to rise. Stop.

Yeah. So, so yeah, I got the prednisone. I was immediately like not taking this cause I don't take prednisone. I've got a long history with prednisone. It makes you feel and look awful. But I immediately started taking my amoxicillin and I've been gargling with salt water and using lots of chloroceptic spray, which is that numbing

cherry shit. And I just feel awful still. It doesn't hurt to talk i mean it hurts a little but like no bitch in my blood and but but when i swallow like you'll see me like do this every now and then it's because i'm like don't swallow that hard that sucks dude like it really fucking hurts but but i think it'll be over tomorrow i literally think tomorrow it'll be like night and day because we've we've pumped so much bullshit into my body today like like that that shot i was when he offered it i was like yes because i was gonna ask i was gonna ask for a shot of finicillin because when he when he like looked at my throat he's like oh that's red and i'm like yeah he's like that must hurt huh i'm like really really fucking bad i'm here yeah i won't retell my strep story but and to add

to it i think that if it works tomorrow it's strep if it doesn't work tomorrow our minds could be on covid yeah it could be well what uh did they did they make you do that thing uh where they stick the long swab down your throat or did he just let you do an eyeball thing oh he shined the light in there and he was like that strap like i think it's very clear like probably that's a good doctor i remember going to like the doctor as a kid knowing i had strap my mom being like taylor's got strap i'm taking him to the doctor and the guy would still do the the throat thing and i as a kid was horrible i like my doc a lot um it just so happens that his clinic also does TRT. So I've had discussions with him about TRT. And they do those IVs that – I'm going to ask Derek about those IVs that are provided by some clinics because I'm not sure how – they're kind of borderline to me between like pseudoscience or –

What's in it? They have different ones. And let me look up exactly what they are. It's different kinds of health and wellness. It's not TRT in the IVs in the no lots of vitamins and stuff like you're doing a full bag of saline with like vitamins and minerals and and there's like different ones like like one of them's like for worms for hangovers like if you've had like a crazy night of drinking like um i can't remember what like wealthy person i've heard that does this but like every time they every morning after like a crazy

night out they have a bag of saline with like certain shit this is a real doctor but that makes sense to me because you one of the hangover issues is that you're dehydrated yeah and so they can totally cure that and i just want to say this for those of you out there who are like in your in your 20s or whatever and you you have hangovers and you always have those rough nights of drinking. I haven't had those in so fucking long because when you finally get into bed, two things. One, if the room is spinning, you put one foot on the floor, okay? That's your first pro tip. That'll stop the room from spinning. One foot on the floor, you're stabilized now. Your brain figures shit out then. The other thing is drink at least a full glass of water or gatorade preferably before you go to bed you're gonna have to wake up and piss anyway you've

had so much beer or liquor like don't even worry about that you're getting up in the middle of the night but you'll feel good the day after i i've had two hangovers in my entire life kids i'm the drinking expert i'll take it a step further Put your cheek on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. And you're right there to pee afterwards. Towards the toilet. So it's easier to scoop in there. Like a friend of mine, his wife is a doctor. And like, it's funny you mentioned the IV hangover thing, because he's mentioned that he was like, yeah, we were at this trip

and they had these banana bags. And then my wife like gave people these IVs for hangovers. And there were, he was like it felt like nothing he's ever experienced before where like in real time he went from like that woody status like I'm I'm dying give me my will so I can finish it so like he said like over the course of five six minutes sitting there letting it go in at least part of it and being like I'm good like everything that was out of me totally replen replenished. I'm feeling soft. I'm sure that's not good for you all the time, but it

can't be worse for you than a hangover. They have a bunch of IV bags. They'll do. They have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. One of them is for athletic hydration. One of them is for weight loss. One of them is like B12 energy booster. Go back.

Go back to what's in there. Well, it's a fine poison that gives you locked up before I look at it. Before I look at it, I guarantee, I guarantee L-carnitine is one of the ingredients and some basic bitch vitamins. Like,

like that's why I think that like they're probably mix and match here and they're like, Oh, and it does this too. Yeah. Immediately. Yeah. Essential vitamins and minerals and such as

l-carnitine vitamin c b complex um methionine my methionine uh inositol choline oh okay okay yeah yeah fucking make it as complicated as you can choline you can buy a bottle of that on amazon i i i took that during my weight cut it's like over-the-counter. What does that do? It's another weight-cutting agent that's over-the-counter and super soft core. Is it no water retention or no appetite? Yeah, no water retention. Neither one of those. It's just helping you burn fat.

Does it just tell you what's in it or the amounts of what's in it? Just what's in it. It doesn't say the amounts. It could be an ineffective amount. Actually, hey, yeah. It kind of does here. So 800 milligrams of, that

word I can't do, glutathione. 1,000 milliliters of saline, 2,000 milligrams of vitamin C, and the rest is like proprietary. So like X amount of taurine, X amount of biotin. Like I said, there's 10 different ones.

I've thought about doing it before. I don't know how much they actually cost. The thing is, I really hate IVs. I really dislike them. I can get queasy when they pop that vein. I love IVs. I don't. I don't love them.

I do. I've never had an IV and a bad experience. I get the IV. Suddenly, like, all right, that whole thing about eating, it's just taken care of for me now. They put sugar in it. They put liquid in it. It's just, yeah, you can be on an IV, and they just got you covered.

Do they put sugar in there? I mean, probably. They're not. Hey, could you grind up a pot roast and just throw it in the – yeah, right here. I might be wrong about the food, but I think there's something to that. But anyway, so – but your hydration is totally solved. And plus, it's usually the gateway to better shit, right? When you get morphine, it's from that iv when you get like

uh is it fentanyl that they give you like that that's through that iv line that iv line and it's like it's like a pavlonian thing maybe it's just saline now but they've introduced a gateway to more glorious things that could come soon like they've opened up the highway for sure um but but i really hate intravenous stuff i don't like it in the uh the crook of my elbow i really dislike it in the back of my hand it always hurts um i've never had one that didn't hurt i mean i when i injected myself today didn't hurt a bit like like it like i was immediately i was like oh man i really thought this was gonna hurt because i usually don't use needles this fucking big. It's a fucking harpoon I stuck in my ass today.

I wasn't looking forward to it, but it really didn't hurt. Yeah, at the prices that these hangover cures are sold, I'd rather get a thousand Gatorades. Like $300. Oh, I doubt this shit is that much because I saw poor people in there today, and they were there for warm. How did you identify them as poor people? No mean the mobile iv medic they're wearing dirty sweat

pants in the middle of the day i walk around la with jizz stains on my under armor sweats yeah but that's in la this is in a place where like i mean they've got no business wearing wearing those like like the hobos in la have more money than these people. Okay. By the way, I'm right. They do put food through the IV. I also just want to say this was our obligatory 30-minute supplement discussion on PKA when I'm on LA.

Kyle's an expert. He is. Whether it's herpes medication, load stacks, or intravenous hangover cures. If you ever get the herp you know if you've ever got some hpv like whatever you got going on i can hook you up one of our podcast uh sidekicks got chlamydia in his throat which is novel as far as my experience i've never seen that before straight guy yeah that's a fair question to ask though though. I think he contracted it in West Hollywood, too, which is, you know.

Your friend has opened his world up to other possibilities, and there's nothing wrong with that. Zach says he got it from eating pussy. What is he, like, deep-throating your clit? Right, that's not how clits work. See, this is going to support your theory that my buddy's gay, Kyle. He got it from licking the girl's asshole. Oh, now that can happen.

I've come full circle now. Okay, he's straight. I've come full circle now. Yeah, he could actually get it from eating her ass. You could also get salmonella, so make sure they're clean back there, boys. I have a question for you, and it comes from the last Patreon hangout. We do these things at $50 tier. We hang out with the – all right.

So a straight guy – I also just want to interrupt you, Woody. On my Patreon, we tried to copy exactly what you guys did, but it was just too complicated, and we just never did a $50 tier hangout. We tried shamelessly to rip off PKA and walked away with our tail between our legs. I'm sure we do it without any technical issues. I love the $50 patron. I'm paying the show full attention right now, but I've got the high-stakes poker game open on one of my other monitors.

I'm not playing. I'm just like, if something crazy happens, I'll just glance over and see what's going on. They're playing so high-stakes now that I can't play. So this is important. There's's a guy and he's straight and he says that he just got pegged by a trans guy no a trans girl right so this is someone who was born a man but but now vibes girl, but has a penis. And he got pegged by her. And he maintains that he keeps his straight card. Now, there's a gay guy in the same call who says, no, you don't.

And then that led to the discussion. We talked for like an hour about like, what is gay sex? Is it the penis that makes it gay? And I think most of us agreed it was kind of the vibe, right? Yeah, I'm so with you. Bailey J versus help me. Fuck Angel. Yeah, I'm so with you.

Woody, if I flew to your house and you helped me put a foreign object up my asshole, that would be a gay sex act. But it's not. What if Woody was in a dress? There's levels. Then I'm down. That would change it. That would literally change it, Taylor. It's not like you're either

in position. It's not binary, right? It's not position one or position two because I would argue that if I were attracted to Danny, it's gay, but it's much gayer if I'm attracted to Taylor. That's fair.

Right? Danny's all hairless over there. Very nice skin. Danny just made the decision to vibe guy. He could choose the other way. He has decided to look like a man. It was not thrust upon him. Danny's like,

I can beat all of you up. And he could beat the shit out of us and rape us. And that would be gay. I think elbows and teeth in that scenario. He wouldn't like it. It's really interesting. It's definitely less gay than if it were the trans individuals. Real penis.

I think right now, just transgenderism is just coming into acceptability. It's sort of like where gay was 10 years ago by the way i'm like a thousand percent sure what do you like told that story wrong there's no way that it was a person who had a real penis but opted instead to use a fake one yeah that's that's how i remember it i didn't mean to tell it wrong no of course you didn't mean to tell it wrong but but like it's a it's it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, if it was a girl with a dildo, there would be no question it was a straight act. It was the fact that it was a trans girl.

I think you're conflating two different scenarios because we're talking about so many different scenarios. And there was one scenario where someone was just getting pegged. And then there was another scenario where someone was just getting fucked by a trans girl and like like like i think maybe we're comparing those two like there was a lot of getting fucked by a trans girl is trans girl has well that's a real penis then if it's a trans man is a woman who is who has transitioned i have all this right. So the guy had sex with a trans girl but said that it was straight because she now vibes girl.

And Switch was like, no, not straight. Yeah. But she used a dildo instead of her penis. There were other stories that involved that, but this was if I understand it right, this trans girl used her penis. You didn't blend the stories, you asshole. Yeah, you said...

Guys, we're just fact-checking here. I understand that, right? You didn't blend the stories, you asshole. Yeah, you said I didn't. We're just fact-checking here. No one's suggesting you're a liar, Woody. We're just trying to get the stories. Yeah, you did. I'm just trying to get the stories. Kyle, it's a great philosophical issue, though. Guys driving on the freeway. Here's on the radio.

Be careful. There's a crazy guy going backwards. Looks up. Says, everyone on this freeway is going's on the radio. Be careful. There's a crazy guy going backwards. Looks up, says, everyone on this freeway is going backwards. What's he talking about? Here I am. The way Woody said it made it so much funnier in my head

because I pictured a guy who thinks he's straight on his hands and knees turning around and then she's about to put her penis in his ass and he goes, whoa, what am I, gay? Use the dildo.

No, no, no, no, no. If I understand the story right, a guy, straight, on his hands and knees, as she puts her penis in his butt, afterwards comes on the Discord and says, that doesn't make me gay. Yeah, you said pegged, though. Oh, did I use that word?

I always think of pegged as meaning a dildo. That's where I made it confusing, so I'm sorry about that. Let me give you my take, Woody. First of of all what you brought up with the dildo that was a very interesting philosophical question i'm glad you let us play with that even though it wasn't a real thing that happened but three hours as far as as far as the trans girl i think trans it's like that's the new minority that's still trying to break through into the mainstream. I said it earlier, but there were gay people were 10 or 15 years ago. And I think if you give it another 10, 15 years, it will be considered straight to get fucked up the ass by a former man.

Now, woman, I mean, if you think back far enough, like in the 1800s, your family and friends probably would never talk to you again. If you had sex with a Chinese girl, like that's where the level of bigotry was back then. 10 or 15 years, you're going to be straight as a goddamn desert highway if you allowed mish by a trans girl. That's what I think. Wow, we want mish. That makes it even gayer, the face-to-face part. Yeah. I was on Amazon.

I was on Amazon. There's so many questions in my head. Where's the line? I was on Amazon. I was on Amazon. There's so many questions in my head. Where's the line? I guess Kyle's right. It is a spectrum. It's absolutely a spectrum. It's much straighter to be attracted to Finster all done up than to want to fuck Buck Angel and his pussy.

I agree. And if you were to go back even like three and a half years, I didn't even get the whole gender versus sex thing, the girl with the penis thing. I flat out didn't understand the concept. You get it now as if it's crystal clear? Yeah, I straight up do. I just get it. I get someone who has chosen to live life as a woman, even if they have a penis and they say, I'm a girl now. And I'm like, all right, so this is just like this is what you're vibing. This is your vibe. This is this is your mood that makes you feminine.

And dick or no dick, that's sort of just your your own business. It's what you outwardly project, whether you want to be boy or girl. And I know there's people listening that think that's insane, but I, I get what they're going for. And I have no issues with it. Also,

Danny was like, Hey, you'll be straight as a highway. If you do this, cool, cool. I also think that you'll always be allowed to pick what you want. Like,

it's going to be okay to say, I like girls, but not the ones with penises. And they'll be like, well, you do what you want. I don't know about that one. No, eventually that will be transphobic. What do you mean eventually? Yesterday, that was transphobic. Yesterday was transphobic. Last

year, that was transphobic. It's been a thing for a while. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Kyle, if you don't have trans on your like, okay on your Tinder profile, that makes you a little transphobic? First of all, I don't like whenever you're not into something, suddenly you have a phobia of it.

I have a phobia of being burned alive. I don't hate fire, though. I don't hate fire. I don't see somebody go and start hate-crime-ing them. I hate that whole thing like i'm sorry i called out to you in the middle of your thing continue on my bed no i refuse now

yeah there was there there was a clip going viral that my girlfriend and i full body uh winced at it was was a girl on TikTok, an obese girl who's filling the entire vertical frame of her TikTok video, aggressively telling the audience that, you know what? Having a preference for being fat or skinny, it's not a preference.

It's bigotry. That's like saying, I won't date black people. So you know what what don't be fat phobic people it's basically racist i'm exaggerating a little bit but that's what you're going for it's not yeah you won't date black people no i mean it's a lot no i'm gonna i'm going on a diet i'm gonna be white by september like what well well first of all it into in my opinion is just like saying that you don't want to date black people which is a-okay like i don't know how many how many chicks who i've seen profiles

on tinder where they're like no white men yeah and you know what i don't go oh yeah i go cool that's why i know which way to swipe now not to waste your time with my with my lily white ass okay yeah like if you're looking for a for a brown guy or a black guy like that's what you're fucking into i've got a friend who will only date asian women he does not want a white woman in his life he's a white guy he doesn't wait he's not into black women he's not into white women only asian women he's not racist against white women his mom's actually his mom's asian which which is a little bit oh ari your mom's asian right he'll see this he'll get back

but but yeah like so like um i don't really have any color preference at all like i've dated like black women brown women fucking asian chicks like like every race i think that i can imagine um and like i don't really have i don't know that i've got a preference per se like i don't know reference because i can i interrupt yeah i i can see beauty in everyone especially mixes i think somehow mixes always land is like extra beautiful yeah there's this but if i had had to pick what the perfect one would be like, white chicks with dark hair are the hottest to me.

See, and that's your preference. Yeah, I strong disagree. Yeah, me too. Definitely probably white chicks with red hair. I like red hair also. Oh my god, let me find this new red one. To me, if the cubes aren't dark,

you're playing on recruitment. If they have cubes, they're not going to have cubes on them. I like a little pube too. No pube for me. I was going to make a joke, but in reality, no pubes vibes child to me.

Maybe other people don't get that vibe. Oh no, I get the vibe and I prefer it. Makes you feel like you're back in grade school yeah no it makes me feel like she's back in grade school yeah that's what yeah my my my theory is that white girls should never be somebody's first choice because if as a white exactly everybody has a built-in market of their own race like indian guys have access to the top indian girls asian guys have a group of hot asian girls that'll only date asian men we white guys have that too there's back and forth dating between white people the problem is that every race of man on the planet wants to lock down a white bride as a status symbol so there's immense competition for white chicks and they get big heads about it

and out here in la especially i'm high people want to fuck me out here in la because i'm white and i think one of the best plays a young man could make, this is for the single audience members among you, is you start looking for black girls and Asian girls. Because they're over in the corner with 800 Instagram followers as opposed to 15,000. And NFL players aren't going to be trying to fuck your chick every time she goes out. And the guy who works at Goldman Sachs isn't going to slip her his business card. She's going to be under the radar and you have a much higher percentage chance of having a fidelity-filled relationship.

And a higher percentage chance of a happy trail in the mud. Get yourself a D. Get yourself a D. If you want that hairy belly. I mean, I can't even be bigoted about your preference there, Woody, because we're not allowed to. I mean, yeah, every preference should be allowed unless you're a pedophile. We can't be allowing them.

Now, wait, Taylor. What if the pedophile doesn't act on real people, but instead he engages in his impulses on anime pedophile? Pedophilia material founder like he like looks at like cartoons of like children yes i'm not like i've heard victimless crime i've heard both sides of that where people are like it gets their deuces out and then i've heard other people say like it just pours in until they need more and more intense, more and more intense stuff. Cause you know how porn works. You start off when you're like, you know,

12 or whatever. And you're like boobs. And you're like, Oh, you're just like beating off the just tits. And then you're like, I need something more intense, need something more intense.

And before you know it, you're in a dark place. And so I could definitely see that. Couples in love. And before long, couples who hate each other and are mad at each other. Gang bang. And like,

so I could definitely see that point of like this, these, these pedophiles are going to tantalize their tongues a little bit with cartoons until that's just not enough. And then they pursue real life. So, so this is my new favorite chick on Reddit. It's not safe for work,

obviously her username though, for those of you out there who might want to find her, it's the letter U, the letter R, as in your, and then favorite redhead, but favorite is spelled like they're fucking British or something, so it's F-A-V-O-U-R-I-T-E. I don't know why she made this so difficult, but it's

your favorite redhead. God, when did she turn 15? She's not. 2016, I think. The shit won't load for me. I'm pissed. I want to see her. Shit won't load for you. She's your favorite now, Kyle?

You've been tracking all her posts and everything? She's super popular. She's top 1% on OnlyFans as well. I don't pay for OnlyFans because why would I? Here she is naked. Does she use a filter to look that young or do you think... No, she's 19. I mean

someday she will be. Four years. Not if I find her and put her in my freezer. Then she'll stay young and beautiful forever. This girl could legit pass for 15. Dude, I'm so fucking... Not if I find her and put her in my freezer. Then she'll stay young and beautiful forever. This girl could legit pass for 15. Dude, I'm so fucking... Here's a little gift. I want it to work for me.

A little gift. Yeah, here's a little gift. Maybe... I'll make a gift of this. Here we go. Here we go. I was clicking on some... I don't know why.

Just any of my secondary windows won't load right now. Well, it was bound to happen. Technology issues with Danny Moles. I love the people that, that comment on porn posts. Now that you're home, I'll give you a second workout. I want to click on the,

like share this video just to see what happens. You know, like just like, oh yeah, let's tweet this one out and see. Yeah. See what, like what is it?

Prefill? I don't know. Pop it up on Facebook. Yeah, I'm totally on. Can you share it on Facebook? Team Redhead with Kyle. Team Redhead. I'm not.

Oh, yeah, man. A big time. So second in command is Ayla Girl. Ayla Girl is super fucking hot and has, she vibes much more adult, I suppose. For, for, I don't know if this is a good link.

I'm just sending like multiples. But it's her, her, her shit is spelled a E L L a Ayla girl, much easier to like, look up, I suppose. Yeah.

And she is a brunette and she is very beautiful. I mean, they both look like they're worried about midterms like that's like level of age like oh mr johnson's so mean in class i mean you know like that's it or for them it'd be mr johnson's so friendly in class i i i see that she's pretty and that she's obviously busty but oh my god she's got tits too stand out the second image you don't see it oh my god i can't see any of them they're not working none of my legs she has like a perfect body and she's very pretty oh god i what were you saying what are you saying what i'm sorry i'm just uh i want to

jerk off to her i feel like if you would walk through the mall or campus you'd see like literally like 10 of the student body be her match Would she be shoving things in her pussy? Probably only 3%. Probably not. Probably that it takes some clever dialogue to get there. Well, I don't need any clever dialogue. I just need to like open my fucking phone and A-L-A girl is right there shoving produce into her snatch and dancing around in her

front yard or some man's front yard naked. And I'm a big fan of a la girl and uh your favorite redhead how do you spell a la girl a e l l a a l l a girl kyle i've been going on deep reddit beat off um spirals because i've been trying to not watch porn so much because i've been desensitizing myself to the point where it takes like 20 minutes and tremendous grip strength to get myself off when i'm beating tolerance break i get in your grip yeah maybe one of these okay you can in addition to a herpes med tutorial you can teach

me how to jerk off properly yeah i i think i i've noticed that like so few women like know how to like operate their own vaginas. And I can only imagine that it extends to men and their penises. I bet the average guy doesn't know how to flex his Kegels to make a cum shot really hit the other side of the room. Because I see guys in pornos and they'll cum and the cum just sort of falls out of their penis. It's just like dribble, dribble. I'm like, I have never once came so pathetically.

Every time I come, it's just like, bam! Bam! Every time I come, I either bruise her cervix or shoot flies from across the room. Here's what I'm going to do because I love cum-speriments. This week, I'm going to go for distance what I'm going to do because I love cum-speriments. This week, I'm going to go for distance.

I'm going to stand. It doesn't even have a good ring to it. Cum-speriments. I like it. I love it. I'm going to stand and cum and see how far I can go. Now, obviously, it isn't fair because height is going to come into it. A midget could come much harder than me, but he doesn't have the range

because I'm firing from a higher altitude. You should sit off the side of what I assume is your standard height bed and do it from a seated position. I have a rather tall bed. Call it the Olympics. And I've got to come in my living room because you need hardwood

so that you can find every little bit of cum and clean it up. I'm not cumming on my carpet. What are you, a weirdo? You might lose the farthest dot. I might lose the farthest dot. A mirror is the best for that, but I don't have a mirror long enough. What about a dark piece of paper? That would sort of deminilize it.

I think the hardwood's going to be the best. And it's better for clean-up as well. But yeah, I'm going to go for distance. I guarantee I can cum at least eight feet. At least eight feet. I guarantee it. Eight feet is impressive. You think so? I know so. I know so. Yeah yeah and so you're always keep i'll make a video comment

yeah make a video we were not going to share it just send it yeah you're like flexing you gotta like flex your abs and stuff like there's a whole process like every time it's just like you really gotta put put some oomph into this i i swear every time i see a porno where the guy is just like coming and it's just like, I don't know, it's just dribbling out of him. It's like a science fair volcano. We're just kind of barely. Science fair volcano, yeah.

It's my guess that this is his second shoot that day or that something went wrong. Maybe he prematurely shot it. He matured on the first one. It's not the amount. There's plenty of it. And it doesn't matter if it's my third, fourth, fifth, tenth time coming that day. There's going to it, and it doesn't matter if it's my third fourth fifth tenth time coming that day

It's it's good. There's gonna be less semen, but it's coming out with the same ferocity Mm-hmm. Yeah Putting tea right into his prostate that shit is worked out You think his biceps are good you should see his fucking vas devrons or whatever the fuck i think it's a process i think those are internal they are so i've got um everybody knows that kyle has positively come alive since he started talking about jizz stunts strep throat has faded away it's the amoxicillin, man. He's rolling now. I'm fighting my way through it. We're 42 minutes in.

I can do this four more times. So I was running low on my lube of preference, which is, of course, wet platinum. Still, you're on the wet platinum, okay? I will always forever. Trust me, I'm going to be on the wet platinum for quite some time, Woody, because I hopped on Amazon and

you can do that thing where you can see what the price per ounce is when you buy it in various amounts. You would think that it's a perfect sliding scale, but it's not. There are some bottle sizes that are just, whoa, whoa, whoa. This, for example,

19 ounces is way more expensive per ounce than 12 ounces is. You wouldn't think. You wouldn't think. You buy in bulk. You save money. But I'll tell you where you do make a big savings, where you start saving like 80, 90 cents an ounce. 55-gallon drum.

That's when you get yourself a gallon. Oh, you son of a bitch. That's when you get yourself a whole fucking gallon. I like that. There's a pump on top, boys. Dude, that container is going to be so gross after a while. Here's what I do. I have a separate container that also has a pump on the top that I got it like Bed, Bath and Beyond or some shit that looks kind of like stylish.

And I emptied these. Well, this is my first gallon ever, and it probably will be my last. This is going to last a year, like literally a year at least. It doesn't take a lot of wet platinum to get it done. No, very efficient. A little bit goes a long way. So I put that into the smaller thing that's a little pumping, and I keep that on the nightstand, right?

And everybody knows what's in there. You look like a real asshole if you have the gallon. What if I went a step further, and I had like one of those sprayers that you put Roundup in and I was like... I just put one directly to your pussy. A backpack.

The backpack so you could follow or go anywhere around the house. I usually use this to spray for mosquitoes but... If any of you guys are on Amazon buying wet platinum right now, take some advice from a pro you don't want the flavored kind no that stuff can give a girl yeast infection i think there might be sugar in it i'm not anyway that's not i don't know why they even make it it's

irresponsible and cruel yeah the only kind you want look at all the things that aren't in it right glycerin free paraben free um other thing free it's hypoallergenic right like luxury silicone you want you want wet platinum silicone you don't want the mixture you don't want the uh the one that's that's uh water-based none of that they uh you want exactly what i've got there you don't need a gallon of it but like get a small bottle because it is very expensive, especially if you're overseas. If you're overseas, don't order it online. Go to a sex shop. It's much cheaper there.

It is the best lubricant in the world. It is the best. Trust me, I've looked around. I can afford any lube I want. I buy that one. That's $200 worth, by the way. Fuck. You're saving money.

I feel like there's this, you know, like at the beginning of the peanut butter jar, it's like there's an endless supply of peanut butter. And then when it's empty, you make the sides last forever. I feel like Kyle is just going to be over lubing as if it were like it was free out i've had girl i've had girls like like grab some lube before and and get like more than two pumps and been like whoa first of all that you that just got expensive you just spent two dollars second of all you're more of a 75 cent girl. Did you bring six friends? Yeah. Is someone else showing up

that needs their transmission lubed or something? You got a fucking squeaky axle outside? Look at your hands. It's pouring down your elbows now. Are you putting that on me? Are you putting that on you? I'll be glad I'm lubed up to my elbow in a minute.

Oh. I mean, that's a different story. You could probably, you know... It even takes a little bit of time to wash off in the shower afterward, because if you just blast it with a couple blasts of water, you'll wash your dick or whatever before you bring soap into the mix, and you're like, I probably got most of that off just by rubbing.

It's like, no, your dick is so slippery. It feels nice, though. It feels nice nice it simultaneously doesn't come off very easily and does come off in that it makes the bottom of your shower floor dangerous very dangerous like you know i think most accidents take place in the bathroom or in the shower this is why it's wet platinum being washed off your cock turning the bottom of your shower into a hazardous zone to stand in. Yeah. Yeah. That's something to think about.

Kyle, I got to ask you, as a fellow jerk-off aficionado, well, I fancied myself that before I got on this podcast with you. Now I'm not. You're a journeyman. Thank you. I appreciate that. Kyle's a first-round pick. You're a.

I'm like Tank Abbott in the UFC. Yeah. You were technically there. Still collecting a paycheck. But I got to ask you about cleanup methods because I've always been under the impression that I've been innovative in that regard. I do the hand cone for the audio only audience. And Kyle is just already fucking shaking his head. Hold on.

Now I'm nervous because Kyle's just shaking. Basically, I use my open hand as a way to hollow out. I've made a catcher's mitt out of a roll of toilet paper. Well, a stream of toilet paper. It's the perfect

little receptacle for my jizz. It's like a Charmin vagina. I don't see what's wrong with that, Kyle. You put that on the head of your penis at the end and then continue to jack to get like the post-o spasms and everything out correct taylor yeah you don't shoot with the velocity to blast right through that like a 45 caliber would see no and what i do i put my hands behind the toilet at an extreme angle i bust directly into the toilet right see no that sounds so uncomfortable okay i was lying down all the way yeah i use a towel i use a towel because um i own a washing machine and i can wash the towel

after i'm done um i really don't masturbate very often at all but um if i if i do or actually you know if i'm if i'm just coming during sex or whatever, like the towel is right there for like clean up right after. But no, I would never, I have never thought that coming into tissue is like a good idea at all. Like I come a lot, like with my supplements or not. And so I'll soak right through a lot of that. like with my supplements or not. And so I'll soak right through a lot of that. And it's going to take so much of that that I can't even flush it down

without clogging the toilet. I mean, I like your approach, Danny. That's something I can see myself doing when I was in middle school or not wanting to get caught as a young guy. Because I remember back then, if I was beating off, it would not cross my mind,

14-year-old Taylor to mop it up with a towel. Because it's like, somehow someone's going to find out I busted all over the towel. So 100% tissues and Kleenex and all that shit then. But now, now that I'm a big boy with big boy towels, that's the way to do it. Get a nice soft towel. Everybody has a couple towels that when they see it in the lineup, they skip over it when they get out of the shower. Just take that one. The one that got a little bleach on it yeah yeah we have like this ugly ass yellow towel with like bleach all over it there's so much of my cum in that towel but let

me ask you i'm genuinely i'm genuinely curious now what's the protocol as far as how many loads per towel and if it's more than one where is the staging area for the towel when you're not jerking off with it at that moment it depends how degenerate we're feeling that week you know you know when it starts to smell you know you've waited too long but um a 50 loads don't you me you know what you know what it smells like i know that's why i said ew because i know exactly what it smells like remember at that old place i stay that i when i moved out i had that that like uh remember when lion king there was that dead elephant place they went to it was like that except there was a bunch of like crispy old tied off condoms and like i like would peel some off the the hardwood floor then like you

pull one that's been there forever and the bottom part busts and now there's like ancient load i had i had a condom that i had done that with i just even tied it off and it had fallen by the wayside under the bed between the mattresses or whatever and like i guess the cum inside of it had started to like decompose and give off and give off gases so so now now the condom is swelling like a balloon did you throw it away or are you kind of keeping it and tracking it now you gotta huff it like a helium balloon. I mean, that was three years ago. And now I've had to name it and it goes to preschool. No, I threw it away. It was so disgusting.

It was so disgusting. It was so gross. It was so gross. To answer your question, Danny, like I do, if I've busted on a towel and like we've used it to like wipe up any excess lube or anything that goes straight into the laundry. And then next time just grab a fresh towel. Like, see, I have two,

I have two towels, one of which I would like to use for drying purposes. And the other one's there for when my girlfriend's over, I don't have, I suppose I just got to get more towels. You got to get more literally only. I have two towels, Danny.

Yeah, it's, it's one of those things, socks and towels. They just go missing. You you start out with five you end up with one i probably got 15 towels here yeah just to have a couple of days gonna use the wrong towel and get pregnant yeah i mean i don't know i probably don't have 15 but i've got at least like eight you know yeah well my wife really supplemented that number. I'm sure. Yeah, I get like one for every day

of the week and then like an extra. We have a lot of towels, but I think half of the herd needs to be cold. We have a lot of towels that I'd be embarrassed if any of you saw. Yeah, there's some. See, those are load towels. Mine don't all match because like every couple years it's like, ah, I need a couple new towels.

And like sometimes I'm feeling like, let's get the finest towels money can buy. Sometimes I'm like, oh, there's a sale on Amazon. Yeah, give me four of those. I have this one towel that's enormous and so plush and absorbent. Sometimes towels are super soft and you'll try to dry

yourself off and nothing happens. It's, oh, I'm not that kind of towel. Yeah. I'm for looking at it. It's like that scene from Brother Where Art Is. It's that scene from the Outlaw Josie Wales

when they're out of food and he's like, I got this piece of rock candy, but it's not for eating. Just for looking through. That's the kind of towel that like those super plush ones are i hate those we have a bunch of talent every once in a blue moon the dogs will like track in mud across the harbored floors forever so we have towels that are really like for that kind of thing they're you know drying off the dogs. Yeah, that's where a lot of our gross ones are. But I literally, I took a couple of those plush towels Kyle was describing and just moved them into my wife's bathroom that she uses more often

out of the one I use most of the time. Because, like, all it does, it just moves water around your body. It doesn't soak anything. You need the towel to be a little aggressive with you. Like, you don't want it to be super soft and comfortable, or it's not going to get all of it out. You need a little bit of grit there. A little bit of

life to it. Not one of those two soft ones. It can't be treated. I called it plastic, but that's what it is to me. If it's some sort of non-cotton coating or something, and it can make it feel like a soft fleece thing but that's not for cleaning oh speaking of like well this just made me think

of like uncomfortable shit my i was at my uh my brother's wedding this past weekend and my other brother i i see him arrive and he's got like red like rash looking marks on his ears on his face on the wedding gray on his uh he's not the one that got married but um and he got like he like lifted up his shirt and showed his chest and like red marks i'm like what the hell happened to you and he's like i ordered some shirts off amazon and i wore them before i washed them wow and like i always do that yeah and i was like are you serious i always wear them right out of the thing and he's like yeah i looked up online apparently this isn't as rare as you might guess like people it's got like some sort of coating or something it's happened to me it was

like the way i understand it to be flame retarded that does it and i did it once at this shitty hawaiian restaurant i worked at when i was just desperate for a busboy job when i lived in san francisco i had a boil under my armpit that probably should have gotten lanced that i had to deal with boils like a giant pimple yeah yeah but it's it's it's just that there's no head though it just grows downwards and all you see is the red mark and you can just feel the puss packet oh that's packet the puss packet did you lance it on your own in the end or did it go i i don't have whatever kyle has that makes me believe that he would do that i just i fucking giving myself a shot i've had that shot by the way that penicillin shot i cried i cried

in high school when i had to get that from mercer so the chances that i would give myself one of those or or to administer my own lance yeah from uh it was grappling from wrestling right it was before I even did grappling I don't know what it was I think it was just I was malnourished I was dirty I just wasn't I only had two towels and I kept reusing them I was just malnourished as a kid and uh yeah it was i have two matching scars on each bicep my arms swelled up like i imagine like uh there's that scene in master and commander where the little kid in the navy gets a splinter in his arm during a sea battle yeah and it just gets gangrenous and all swollen up it looked like that and if i lived in the 16th century it's great they probably would have had to amputate it but instead they just lanced it in like every color of the rainbow came out and i wish i i wish i uh had video of that

just to relive it somehow you mentioned mercer and it made me think of wings have are you guys kind of caught up on the wings drama i don't think i fully know i don't fully get it maybe you can start in the beginning so I don't know how people made this happen, but they have convinced some TikTokers who seem to be unaware that Wings is a pedophile who is after their children.

You phrased that weirdly. You said they are unaware that Wings is a pedophile. No. Someone has convinced these TikTokers that he is a pedophile after no he he's convinced someone has convinced these tiktok talkers that he is a pedophile after their children when obviously we know he's not um but but i saw this uh this woman like going on a rant today and uh and she's like this guy right here is coming after people's children and like go report this guy so like the cops showed up at wings house last night jesus christ questioning him about his pedophilia and uh it's it's a whole bunch of nonsense and it's like come on guys that's

awful like there's lots of way to have fun with wings without making him a pedophile okay like like why does it always have to be the nuclear option? Why can't you just make a song parody? I haven't heard a good song parody since that first one. The song parodies were great! Those were a lot kinder in spirit. Mr. Big Guy?

Mr. Big Guy was great. I get it. If you want to have a little fun with this guy or whatever, a song parody would be a great way to have a little fun at his expense, but at the same time, I think he profits from those, by the way. That Spotify playlist, I think that guy

has to split with wings on that. You never know because he says things that aren't true sometimes. He does, but in any case, good lord, guys like straight to pedophilia like yeah yeah that's very shitty of people to do to him and i mean to have a cop show up you if a cop shows up at your house for anything it's scary sometimes i'll get like a letter in my mailbox that'll be from my like local police precinct and it's always a trooper saw that you had

left your garage door open and wanted to let you know you shouldn't leave your garage door open in the middle of the night. But even every time opening, it's like, I haven't done anything illegal, but I'm afraid. I got a phone call the other day. I knew immediately it was a scam thing. Because they said,

this is a message from the IRS. And I'm like, IRS doesn't call people. And immediately, I'm like, let's have some fun with this. This is a message from the IRS. You have done, and they just used some legalese terms that are just nonsensical. And serious repercussions are forthcoming unless you call this number right now. And I'm like, all righty then. I call the number. And this guy'm like all righty then i call the number

thank you for calling the irs and i'm like my name is john anderson and i couldn't hold it together i couldn't i just immediately start i'd laugh in his face i'm like you got a pretty strong accent accent from someone working at the irs don't you patel and he he's like, I will. And he hung up and I was just like, and I tried to call him back, but the number he called from like immediately goes, the number you have dialed has been disconnected or blah, blah, blah.

It's some sort of like, I don't know how it works, but there's some sort of rotating bot phone number thing. Like, like some sort of clone number they're using to try to like scare, skirt around the legal system. But it was like,

who's falling for this dude calling them. Hello. Thank you for calling the IRS. I i was like boomers are falling for that stuff i was like they wouldn't do it if they weren't making money boomers are the ones who should know that the irs doesn't fucking call people yeah i guess i've done that twice kyle i've had two of those guys call me and it ended up being the same guy same thing he got on the phone he told me his name was like like uh fucking john anderson or something i am peter yeah and you could tell like you could hear just in the background like a new deli or fucking office space or whatever like a fucking donkey going down the street a guy vending fucking what and uh yeah i um i i forget i just i was fucking with him and he started telling me he

was gonna fuck my mom and shit he knew i was on to him so he just let loose just all i mean it's one thing to be a telemarketer who's cold calling but it's got to be an entirely different thing to be a felon cold caller telemarketer there must just be some so much pent-up rage and then like two weeks later the same number called me and i called back and i got on the phone like hey man i want to get this squared away if there's a problem with my tax return i want you and i to sort it out and there was just this long inhale listen motherfucker you never call this number again okay you never ever call this fucking number again i don't know what accent I'm doing now, but I can tell

just by calling back twice and fucking with him, I broke him. The ones I get most often are the computer ones. Do you guys get those? Where it'll be like, there is a problem with your Apple account. What kind of product do I

have from Apple? They're like, a computer. Electronic product. One that you charge or leave plugged in. So as you know, I've been trying to get this Diego Sanchez guy to fight me, and he just keeps running. But anyway, he's clearly has cte like that that's not a joke like this guy's brain damage um which makes me kind of want to lay off um because it's like not as much fun if i don't have like a proper opponent to joust with as far as like

shit talking goes like if you were chael sunnen like i feel like he'd be like a troll battle is it let me get my trolling gloves on like like like he would get it but this guy is like this guy literally said like like like our fans were going to him on on uh instagram they were like kyle says you're fucking you got a bitch in your blood you pussy ass faggot and he's like ain't no bitch in my blood you tell him to call me here's my phone number and he just puts his oh my god we gotta stop we gotta stop messing with this phone number right there in his instagram because he thinks that like why not like dude this russian wants to throw hands let's get him to call me up see if he's so tough so tough on the phone well you know

what happened then you know what happened then your fans were very respectful and none of them used his number in an abusive manner i guarantee some of them called and did their best russian accents and like who knows what happened but it wasn't stop hiding from kyle punk kyle would destroy you diego stop Stop hiding. The most popular comments. One guy got real. It was like, Diego, you put your phone number on Instagram. You already lost. Yeah, I like that one.

Yeah, so you guys feel good. I don't know. On one hand, it's really fun because this guy is famous. And he's been in shit-talking matches professionally before. Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad because I don't feel like I'm crossing any lines or anything. I'm not talking about his family or anything like that. I wouldn't do that, but it's general shit-talk.

I don't know. I'll let the audience here who are always so even-keeled decide what we should do about this. On one hand, you could go to his Instagram and let him know that he's got bitch in his blood. Oh, my God. We should let off off's, he's got bitch in his blood. And, uh, and I'm like, God, this like, we,

we should let off off him if he's got these problems and everything. But there's a comment on here. It's a very sweet picture of like two guys holding a guy in between them. And the guy they're holding is like, doesn't have legs. Like he's being held up and like probably a war veteran or something like that. And someone said,

that's going to be you when Kyle's done with you. He has trained with monks, bro. You have no chance. something like that and someone said that's gonna be you when kyle's done with you he is trained with monks bro you have no chance i'm gonna do that shit you ever see that shaolin monk movie where like in the final like like like fight at the end he does this move where he like reaches and grabs like the top layer of skin off the guy's forehead and just pulls it off i'm gonna do that move to diego i. I'm going to pull that ridiculous bullshit his boyfriend paints on his chest right off of him. I'm just going to tear that layer of skin off.

You need to make a short video of you doing it to an orange or something. To prove you got the move. But I've really taken a scalpel and very carefully I'm just like peeling fruit like that. Just badly edited. Do it to a banana, then enlarge it somehow

to an apple. What if I'm in my backyard doing kata and I've got watermelons up and I would trust my dad to be part of this and I get my dad to have a suppressed gun off in the background and when I make contact with the watermelon, it explodes.

And I'm just walking through a field of watermelons. And they're just like, boom! Boom! Boom! Bam! Not even suppressed. They should sound like just explode.

And I just turn around, pulp dripping from my face. And I'm just like, next to you, Diego. Next to you. I'm coming for you. I'm your nightmare. Yeah, he's got no chance.

You're too tough. He doesn't get it. He's never been to prison. No. That's true. That's a legit shit talk thing you could bring up. Be be like you've never been to prison man you don't know you've only heard what i've chose to share on my podcast all the real stuff no no you don't even know what i've done you think i was there for weed moron

if i actually had a fighting background and it wasn't bare knuckle i would have be having so much fun with this i would like i would get someone who looks like what I've described, I can't hang out with Snow but I'd get a Snow stand-in to be training me with a Cholo accent I could make so much content out of this just funny, silly It sounds good, I kind of want to start talking shit to Diego so I can inherit his beef

Tell him you want to roll with him You know the funny thing is i know i used to know diego a little bit i used to roll with him so i've got diego stories he's a pretty fascinating what what kyle why didn't you start with that i didn't want you were going i didn't want to break up the watermelon story well i mean after watermelon after my watermelon bit it's all downhill that's when you jump and you're like you know i actually know this guy and he does have bitch in his blood so now danny you're a top level purple is am i on target with that or maybe you peaked it yeah yeah i'm pretty i'm a pretty good purple yeah okay yeah and i used to how did he's black and

where were you when you rolled with him okay so. So the first time I rolled with Diego was down at Salo Ribeiro's gym in San Diego, because the thing about Diego Sanchez is he is the picture perfect cult member. So he finds a new sensei. It was Greg Jackson in New Mexico. And then for three years, it was Solo and Shanji Hibera, which is where I was training jujitsu. Now, I think it's the boyfriend you were referring to, Kyle, like some fucking ridiculous movement coach. So what's interesting, not just to interject, they cut ties professionally, publicly. However, whenever he talks shit to me, he mentions that I am a sensei of joshua fabia how dare you besmirch besmirch his name yeah like any and i'm like are you fucking serious right yeah like like so so i i was talking about like how i trained with shaolin monks which is true obviously and

and he saw that and he was like oh awesome this is going to be a great fight he goes this guy trained with shaolin monks that was his reaction to seeing me in a very being very clear about how that i trained with shaolin monks and he'll be like oh so he he trained with shaolin monks when that's not maybe the reaction that you would expect yeah so diego Diego said, oh, Diego started taking you seriously. He is taking me seriously right now. Okay. That's another thing with Diego is, yeah, Diego, when he was at Solo and Shanji school, was only training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which most would argue is not the correct formula for MMA. So in his mind, like a Shaolin monks is probably he's like, oh, I fucking Kyle guys got the right idea.

I need to get over to India. Like he probably thinks that's a kick ass martial art that he needs to check out. Was he just head and shoulders better than everyone around? He was. I rolled with him when I was a blue and he was a brown belt and he was definitely better than me. But he liked rolling with me because I would quote unquote bring it. And the last time I rolled with him, actually, I had a fat ringworm on my hand and he called it out. And he was like, you got a ringworm on your hand, homie.

And then I was like, it's power out. And I wasn't allowed to train for like three months after. It was a really bad ringworm. But did you ever get any gay vibes out of him? Because I think he had a Dolce and Gabbana gear bag. No, it wasn't a gear bag. It was like a little backpack it was like a little backpack that a 14 year old mexican girl would wear and it was dolce and gabbana and

he had he was really in to the mind over matter shit which i kind of am into as well he was like sensei solo he said when he did his main run when he won the world championships like six times in a row he got fucking drunk every night. It's whatever you believe, homie. If you smoke cigarettes and eat red meat every night and you think it's good for you, it'll be good for you. Those are the things he would say in the locker room, which I kind of like that stuff. I like that about him. I mean, the sad thing about Diego and his CTE is that's like the third guy in that first Ultimate Fighter season that's now coming out with gnarly CTE. Chris Lieben had it really bad.

And there a clip just surfaced this weekend of Stefan Bonner having a meltdown in a hospital, like a CTE induced meltdown because they cut him off from his painkillers. And then he starts getting into it with the cops too. And if you remember Stefan Bonner, I mean, Stefan Bonner looked like accountant and spoke like one as well. So for him to be world star hip hopping, it's definitely brain damage. It's pretty scary that this high percentage of guys are getting it. So four days ago, Stefan Bonner released a video that's described here as highly disturbing. um stephan bonner released a video that's described here as highly disturbing um obviously i'm not going to watch a 15 minute video here on the show but um yeah i think there's something wrong with him for sure he he's educated he spoke like medicine yeah he is he graduated from purdue with a degree in sports medicine for some reason i thought he had a master's, but I might be thinking of Chuck Liddell. Chuck Liddell has a

master's? He's an accountant? Chuck Liddell? Chuck Liddell is basically retarded. I tell you how badass accountants are, and no one gets it. Chuck Liddell is one of those guys who's punched out of his mind, too. Yeah, I would fight Chuck Liddell. I would fight a lot

of people. I wouldn't fight any of them. think kyle could be chuck liddell did you see his last tito fight yeah he looks he looked like i feel like um like if i had to fight him right now obviously i think he beats the shit on me but i think if i if i got if i had like a real boxing teacher to like teach me balance because i don't i don't understand that concept um for like you know six or eight months like they did that shit like from rocky where they tied my my feet together with some strings or eight months like they did that shit like from rocky where they tied my my feet together with some strings or something and like taught me how like that to not like

fucking lose my balance when i'm like throwing or whatever and like silly because he looked so unbalanced and so just like all over the place like like he was discombobulated yeah before he got struck once yeah he would throw a strike, and it looked like a high school kid that you would see on Reddit throwing a punch. Those wild punches that he's completely out of balance, no defense. He looked afraid. I don't know if it was fear or just mania.

It was real sad. I don't think he got paid enough to do it either. I felt bad for him. And Tito's a bitch for doing him like that. Like, Tito could have just jabbed him and put him down, but Tito jumps on him like it's for the fucking belt and he's got to make sure this guy's out. Like he's a world-class opponent who's going to pop back up

and, like, you know, do some sort of fucking comeback. As you get older, you lose your athleticism. It's difficult to describe, like, how a guy just doesn't move athletically anymore yeah but you can see it like you know it when you see it and that to me is what happened in that chuck liddell fight like he just didn't move athletically he didn't his footwork i couldn't tell you what exactly was wrong with it it just seemed odd and we've talked on the other hand like i rolled with joe lozahn and uh he just did this warm up thing where he kind of bounced on his toes and wobbled his head ear to ear like this.

And just the way he did it, I was like, oh yeah, he's something different than me. Like he just moved athletically. And anyway, oh, Chuck Liddell is an accountant, but he doesn't have a master's. Rich Franklin's a dude with a master's. Okay. Yeah. I'm always impressed when those guys are, um, have the, but he doesn't have a master's. Rich Franklin's a dude with a master's. Okay. Yeah. I'm always impressed when those guys are... And girls have the intelligence. They're just winning at everything. Like, um...

Oh, what's her name? Shevchenko. Shevchenko. Yeah. Yeah, Shevchenko. Valentina Shevchenko. Like, she's just like good at everything. She's like a fucking Matrix character or something. She's a dancer. Is she literally an assassin or special ops person or something?

She has some advanced firearms training. That's really cool stuff to watch. Military experience? Am I wrong? I don't think military experience. Maybe I read it out. Obviously, you can go back to What's-His-Name that fought Vanderlei Silva. Remember that stare-off that they always talk about where like – was it Mirko?

Was it Mirko Krokop that has the standoff with Vanderlei Silva? Dan Henderson? No, it was the guy who used to be – I think you're right. Krokop is the guy that doesn't move and Silva is the guy that like does the fan thing. Silva looks – his fighter name was the axe murderer okay he looks terrifying and he's like in crow cop's face like giving him the fucking manson lamps as tony soprano calls them just the dead eyes and mirko is looking through him because mirko was in the

military special forces mirko has killed many men in his life he has killed men okay so the idea of fighting this goofy looking like like dude tonight it's just it's just a saturday night to him like he's thinking about he's thinking about the beers he's gonna have after he's done destroying this man like he's not afraid you can intimidate him unless you've got an AK-47 that we don't know about. Are you talking about Crow Cop? Yeah, Mirko Crow Cop. Back in 2007 or something, his videos were the first exposure I had to any

sort of UFC, like mixed martial arts fighting. It was just like, Crow Cop spinning kick, head kick knockouts. These are professional fighters, and he must be kicking so they know he's known for kicking they've probably seen the youtube video and they still get caught with a heel to just the temple every single time what was the line with crow cop he's like

right kick little left leg cemetery yeah he uh and then there was the famous fight where he fought gabriel gonzaga who everybody thought was a pure jujitsu guy and gabriel uncorks a high kick in the second round that flatlines crow cop crow cops crow cop that was one of the first ufc pay-per-views i ever bought the first one i ever watched was at woody's house we watched uh john jones versus chael sunnen and that's what really sparked my interest in the UFC because that was such a good card. It had Big Country on it. He was on the card.

And I was fascinated. Kyle had an affinity for him. I was fascinated that such a man existed within what I – He was pretty good. He peaked as like a top five maybe heavyweight. Yeah. He'd do that belly rub thing, and it was just like, oh, this is so cool that any body style, if you're talented enough, seems to be able to rise to like – I mean, this is a pay-per-view we're watching, right? Daniel White hated him.

Sorry to cut you off. It's interesting. He hated this guy because he didn't look like an athlete. He grew a big gray beard, a a big one like down to your nipples and it aged him and made him look older and he looked raggedy and older and nothing like they wanted a ufc top fighter to look like but there he was beating guys who looked like they were i don't know strong fitness models or something yeah yeah um for a while he knocked everybody out too which i find it like how could dana hate a guy

who's finishing people isn't that the bottom line if you finish people who gives a shit how you look didn't look right because it was during a time when dana was really trying to like legitimize the the sport and and like really make it its own thing like get it to the level it is right now i remember like six years ago like somebody was like pointing out to dana that the numbers were slipping right this is before espn they're like hey your numbers are down this and that and dana like had all the stats he's like our numbers are down you know who else's numbers are down everyone and he knew the mlb's numbers he knew the nba's numbers he knew the nl's numbers he's like he's like they're all like like this this group's down 2.7 these guys are down 4.8%. We're down 1.2%.

And you know what? Last Saturday night, we had one of the biggest cards we've ever had. The biggest of this year, the biggest in the last five years. We're on the rise. And you need to learn a little bit more about sports if you're going to be a sportscaster. And I was just like, oh, man, this guy just eats. Like people give him so much shit.

We wouldn't have MMA the way we have MMA if it's not for Dana White. Have you seen Ariel Hawane's latest drama? Maybe you're too sick. I sent you that thing with Street Jesus. Are you talking about something else? It is something else. You're talking about the prison thing.

UFC 200. This is a while ago, guys. Maybe I'm going to call it. It's 2016. I remember him. I was going to call it five years ago. I was going to call it. Five years ago, Brock Lesnar was coming back. He was a huge draw.

I think he actually became a champ. He left the UFC. He's coming back for UFC 200. It was just... You guys hear me. Every once in a while, the UFC does a card that makes it a Super Bowl-like event. And Ariel somehow found it all out and sort of leaked it. Not leaked it, like announced it before the UFC did.

They completely didn't forgive him. And the way they tell the story, they told this to Ariel and said, this is off the record. You can't use this. and then he used it anyway ariel says this is absolutely untrue this is not what happened at all it's a thousand percent bullshit joe rogan is saying it but his source is dana white brendan schwab is out there saying it but he's just mindlessly parroting joe rogan and this all sounds reasonable if you follow the scene like you hear if you follow the scene you'll hear this and be like yeah yeah sounds right and he is pissed and he's like going after everyone with very strong words and saying like that's not what happened that's not how i got that information they didn't give it to me off

the record and i you know backstabbed him so it's fun drama i thought with him and um um what's his name fucking street jesus the fucking jorge masvidal he's interviewing jorge masvidal and uh he says they're just sitting across from each other they're both sitting on couches and i'm paraphrasing i don't remember it word for word but he's like so you were in print you did some time in jail huh and he's like what what um next well i don't know? And he's like, what? Next. Well, I don't know about that. He's like, no, I don't want to talk about it. He's like, you don't want to talk about it? He's like, yeah, I mean, those could be rumors.

You don't know if I was in jail or not. So you don't want to talk about it. He's like, next. Let's move along. He's like, okay, can we talk about your father? He's like, yeah, yeah, we can talk about him. He was also in jail. That's sweet.

The Curb Your Enthusiasm. The Curb Your Enthusiasm. And it's like, this guy is verging so close to Jim Rome territory, where the guy's just like, call me out. I can't remember the name. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Call me that one more time.

I forget his real name. Jim Evans, maybe. Yeah, call me me that one more time his real name yeah call me chris evans one more time i just did i said it to your face you won't do it again i bet i will i bet you won't chris and the guy's like and in jim rome's face and he's flipped him on his back on the floor like ah i saw another jim rome's been old first of all i love jim rome he's my one of my first talk radio heroes before Stern even. I used to listen to him like two or three hours a day. He came on to my local radio station. He's national.

He's out of LA, I believe. Does everyone have the background to get that story? Jim Evans was a football quarterback, and he was kind of getting a reputation for taking sacks and protecting himself instead of throwing from the pocket and getting the hit chris evans is a female tennis player so he's basically calling him a girl to his face yeah and that's what they call i didn't find that clip again there's another instance with jim rome and i don't remember the specifics specifics again

but like they don't really matter basically he's like talking to a football coach or someone in the in sports you know it doesn't matter for the story's sake but he's just like hey you know i heard this this and that and the other and and it's something it's some edgy shit like it's like oh my god jim you're really going after him here and the guy's like um that's not true but i'm wondering jim do you still beat your wife? Because I guess Jim Rome had a fucking domestic dispute at some point and beat his wife. It wasn't just the – Because you know that question, right?

Like when you stop beating your wife is a – Yeah, the leading question. It's a famous sort of leading question where you can't answer it correctly. There is no – Oh, well, maybe that's the case. But in any case, Jim is like, hey, come on. Come on. That's a little much, I think.

Is it? I don't think it is at all. She thought so, too. Yeah, it was... I don't know. I like Jim Rome, though. I think he has this really interesting fan base and they've got this language of their own. I only know him for the gotcha stuff. Does he do better stuff

than that? I mean, he had like i used to listen to a multi i used to listen to a multi-hour radio show where it's him like covering all the topics of the day and then doing like um lots of taking lots of calls and then occasionally they would have the smack the smack off where they would have like fans would come in and do like this one or two minute like fucking slam of like like pop references sport references like it was almost like they're rapping they're referencing things that are meta to the show making fun of like like like like sports stars and stuff and like like just attacking each other

and the show and all sorts of things it's like if you go on youtube and find like i think it was called the Smack Off, but I would be listening to this laughing my ass off when I was 15 or something like that. Because these guys, they would be a huge prize. I don't remember what it was, but maybe it was $10,000 or something like that. It was crazy. And there would be levels to it.

There was a bracket system for who could talk the best smack. And these guys would show up and just so well prepared with these fucking soliloquies of just damnation. And I was spellbound. It was so good. I used to hold rap battles on WoodyCraft. And I would just engage with like... Because WoodyCraft was obviously a Minecraft server,

but almost like the Discord, it became a social thing too. And there was a social hierarchy where different people knew the i guess guys who spent the most time on woody craft and anyway i'd hold rap battles with them and uh you guys have seen my music stuff i can i'm not great at rapping but uh look you'd think i'm a two i fucking four. You don't know it, but I am. Scale of 100. Someone watch the PKA intro. It's not bad. Anyway, I'd hold these rap battles and these kids would wreck me. They'd wreck me. They'd attack the quality of my server,

my family, me personally. I'm having fun here. Take it easy. I'm going against like oftentimes these guys are 13 15 years old you know lighten up uh that did not hold true in reverse and after a couple rap battles chiz and i were just like let's never do that again there's nothing to gain here i wanted to make sure they were actually called smack ops because like i said it was i was 15 when i listened to this shit.

They still do them, by the way. So I pulled up last year's, and I listened to like 30 seconds of some guy going on a fucking rant. He's like, yeah, Jim from Boston, you're such a piece of shit. When you were born, the doctor puts you in the biohazard jug and handed your father the placenta. And it just doesn't stop there. It just keeps going. It was just really brilliant it's really mean

shit it's really mean shit yeah jim rome's one of those guys like when i hear his name i'm like oh there's something to do with sports but yeah i don't know anything at all he's really good it's it's a different kind of thing though like it's not like i used to watch so much espn like there's a there's a ton of shows on there where sports writers will compete against each other and give their opinions on stuff. But I used to watch ESPN five hours a day or something like that. Jesus.

I was really, really fucking into it. But Jim Rome is the best of all of them because it's different. It's closer to Howard Stern than it is to a standard sportscaster like espn guy who just gives gives you the facts straight up yeah some of those guys some just random broadcasters who don't associate with comedy or being edgy can occasionally be very funny like dave ramsey sometimes i'll listen to him for financial advice and he'll just get really angry.

Like these liberal journalists blaming Washington on you being poor. You're not poor because of Washington. You're poor because you're stupid. I like that. Just sometimes. Yeah, Dave, this guy is an evangelical Christian financial coach getting angry, and I'm into it. Speaking of Jim Rome and ESPN, fucking football season started like four minutes ago.

Tampa Bay and Dallas just kicked off. Tampa Bay and Dallas, yeah. You got any predictions? Well, Dallas is going to get trampled tonight is the consensus. I agree with that. Is Tom Brady still on the Buccaneers? Yeah. Dude, they're so good.

Like, their defense is mauling. And then all the receivers and tight ends on Tampa are so goddamn good. I don't remember anything. I don't know anything about football, but I followed enough sports accounts back in the day on Twitter that, like, there were, like, sports haters who would be like, here's a bunch of data showing that Tom Brady is no more than average at best. And he benefits from a defensive minded system that caters to his pussy handed way of playing. And then he like, it's like, all right, goodbye.

And then it's like, well, he only won in Tampa Bay. Yeah, they have a structure that protects it. And it's like, it's Taylor. It's still going after seven Super Bowls. There's this dude, Rob Parker. I think his name is. Maybe, Kyle, you can confirm or deny that. He's been trying to make his name on hating on Brady since 2009. Just every year.

This year is going to be the demise of Brady. He's done. And then he did it. There have been montages of him. There are. There is a montage called Tom Brady proving Rob Parker wrong. And, I mean, anybody who predicts that Tom Brady is going to fall off and his age is going to become a factor,

after he won a ring at 41, you don't really have that right anymore because clearly someday Tom Brady is going to turn 50 or 60 and he's going to be unable to play football. That's just nature. That's not a prediction at this point the dude got fucking three rings in his 40s or maybe one when he was 39 was the most sucks and benefited from a defensive system martin brodeur that uh martin brodeur i can make words up too he's a goalie he played for Jersey, the bad team. But just to finish up real quick, Rob Parker,

he was talking shit all the way leading up to this Tampa Super Bowl. And then Tom Brady won the fucking Super Bowl at 43 years old, destroys Patrick Mahomes, the alleged other greatest player. And the next morning, they cut to Rob Parker. They're like, so, Rob, do you want to amend your opinion on Tom Brady? He's like, hell no. i ain't no pussy ass bro tom brady sucks you're just an asshole okay there's nothing to do but at that point it's a bit yeah that's what it is it's horrible oh sorry i thought you had reached the end in my bed but yeah oh no problem

that was that's the thing it's like you're still talking shit when the guy is middle-aged beating patrick mahomes in a shootout like how can you do that he's pretty young i mean like that's in fucking football you are elderly i'm making jokes i mean i'm trying to think maybe if you're kicking if you're a kicker like you get away with being in your in your 40s but yeah yeah there's a couple of really good kickers there's like there's rules against hitting the kicker right like i mean i know there's rules against roughing the passer but like tom brady takes some hits at 43 years old there are probably compilations of kickers just getting bowled over right they get like i do the kickoff and the guy sneaks by. I know that's rare because that's not the kicker's fault

for not making the tackle at that point. It's the defense's fault for letting him slip through, I would imagine. Their eclipse of the kicker, because when you kick, you have one leg down like a flamingo, and the cardinal sin, the biggest penalty is when you hit the plant leg on the kicker. It's an automatic 15 yard penalty

and there are clips of people doing that and when your leg is planted like your knee is just going to buckle the wrong way that's carnage when they hit the plant leg of the kicker that's right about so i looked up oldest kickers there are eight five guys who are like 45 or older and still playing yeah it's a mental it's it's a mental thing as much as physical like there's so much look i mean it's it's it's easy to figure out you only get a few shots per game to do your thing if you if you ever fail at all it's a huge deal whereas like like a quarterback running back whatever like the running back can just like whoopsie daisy i dropped it and they're like yeah oh man get it together all right let's do that again there are no do-overs for the kickoff quarterbacks supposed to miss like one out of three attempts that's yeah wasn't there a super

bowl that was lost because of a missed field goal like directly like an easy field goal i'm sure there was like not on the top of my head it's the giants versus buffalo it went wide left right oh is did buffalo have a chance to win one and they missed it? Yeah, they had to. And everyone acted like it was an easy one. I think it was like 52 yards. Okay, that's not an easy one. There's a famous chip shot.

It was the Vikings versus, I think, Seattle or the Saints. And it was a 25-yard chip shot for the Vikings to win and go on to the next round of the playoffs. It wasn't Super Bowl, but it was playoffs. And the dude hooks it like 15 feet away from the uprights. Complete choke. Got cut that season. Went to Seattle, I think.

Played a couple of years and then started doing the same thing again. And that was just out of the league. That's something that Kyle's saying, too. Not only do they feel pressure, not only do they get all the hate if they fuck up. If you fuck up two or three times, you might be out of the league that's something kyle's saying too not only do they feel pressure not only do they get all the hate if they fuck up if you fuck up two or three times you might be out of a job you might be working at denny's don't they talk about is is it called the yips am i yeah it's like where we're suddenly i think it's mostly like a golf thing where someone who's really good at golf it'll be like well for some reason tiger woods just can't fucking golf, it'll be like, well, for some reason, Tiger Woods just can't fucking golf anymore. Now his swing is all goofy, and he's shaky out there, and then

sometimes a couple years later, it's like, oh, I just had a case of the year. It's got to be a mental thing. Have you ever seen Charles Barkley swing? He looks like he's hurting when he's doing it. He's fixed it, but yeah, it was famously bad. It like it's like

they said he had a hitch in his swing me not being a golfer was like oh a hitch you know that must mean like you know i don't know he's a little off target or something no he would literally swing get stuck and then finish through and i i'd never seen a golf swing that bad in my life. It's the worst I've ever seen. Yeah, it's amazing. I get the yips in comedy sometimes too, especially in my main channel videos when I'm just not warmed up and I'm too in my head.

Chris Godwin actually on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was dropping balls last playoffs. And he said, I kept thinking to myself, don't drop the ball. Don't drop the ball, which, of course, he said was an instant recipe to start dropping balls. I'll be in times in my videos where I have to address a big room of people. Maybe I'm wearing a silly costume and we get one shot at this thing. I got to go in there, give my little speech and then get out. And I'll be thinking so much about every sentence I say that it'll just be marble mouth.

And I'll just be blurring words together, misspeaking. I'll stutter. I'll be hesitant. It happens to me a lot. You know where it happens to me? Impressions. So I had a lot of driving today. And I'm like, you know what?

You know why Taylor and Kyle are so good at impressions? At least a lot of it is practice. Taylor's talked about how he practices in his car and this is not his first time. When you hear my Mexican impression, first time in the last three years I've tried it. That's why it's so bad. And I do it in my head first, just quietly,

and I'm slaying. And then I try it out loud and it's so bad. You're just imagining a it out and it's so you're just imagining a mexican guy talking great that's how you do it though it's like you jump into a new impression and like within a few seconds you're looking for indian island to swim back to yes yes i was like i i kept veering towards italianville and and i was like wow the delta between how well i can think of an accent and how well i can perform it is gigantic and it has to be yips right it's not as if i'm ineloquent and can't pronounce other words it's just i can't quite do it this way it's just practice man it's like if you hopped into a kickboxing class right now you get your ass

kicked from like what's up or if i were to ask you who was the child star of home alone i knew the question before you finished it is macaulay caulkin damn it he's learned yeah we did this four days ago so don't give him too much credit we did it on the hangout so it was like 10 days ago yeah perfect analog it was like uh mcculkin cully no i called it it's he is mcculley calkin i called him calkin mcculley speaking of calkin mccullen um i don't know if any of you watch american speaking of who i'm doing it on purpose i don't know if any of you watch american horror story i've seen some and he's in the new one. Yeah, I watched the episodes that he's in, and he's good. I like him. He's really good, and it's a good season.

Usually it's upsetting. It'll make me a little ill. The freak show season, they used real freaks. That's good for giving jobs. They used real freaks, That's good for giving jobs, you know. They used real freaks. And I'm a little disgusted just looking at them because they're so fucking gross. But I can't tell if you think it's good or bad. It just means it's upsetting, I think.

I didn't. It was awful. It was hard to watch. I like the season with the witches because it's got a bunch of hot teenage chicks hanging out in a house. Like, what's that like? Plus, one of them is retarded and she's a good actress. That's an easy way. Yeah.

You always kill it on the show, man. You strike out with all the witches and you're like, well, I'm... And I've got Play-Doh in the trunk of my car. There's a great scene in that scene.

I've got a Brio trade set in my one of the the retarded chick is a witch she's not retarded she got down syndrome but she's got you know what down syndrome people look like she has that look and um and she's really good actress and uh she's a witch and her and another one of the witches in her coven, who's like an, also like a 17 year old girl who, and the character is like a Lindsay Lohan type character. Like,

like she's an actual celebrity who's also a witch and she's in new Orleans at witch school, kind of undercover, kind of keeping it on the down low. And, uh, and they go to welcome the new neighbor next door to like their school of witchcraft and it's like a like a really hot young guy

like i don't know he's like looks like a young brad pitt or something over there with his shirt off and like abs bristling and and like sweaty outside like doing shit and like they go to hang out with this guy and um the retarded chick has like a cake that she's baked for him and then the other chick is wearing like a cocktail dress that's like split up the side and uh and they walk in and he's like won't even look at the hot chick he's all about the retarded chick he's like is that butter cream frosting he's like she's like yes i made it myself he's just like that is so thoughtful that is so thoughtful let's just eat cake let's have a slice and the other chick is like the other chick's like i mean if you want to put something in your mouth that's sweet and wet or like she's like being so like like on

in your face like like hey do you just want to go and fuck somewhere like no i'm too full too full of cake and he's just like yeah okay but anyway buttercream frosting right you made the frosting yourself oh you're the best you're right next door that's amazing like just it's so funny that he has no interest in like an incredibly attractive and is he is he a wizard or something or just a guy no he's just he's just he's just the next door neighbor and he's he likes buttercream frosting and retarded girls. Good for him. Everybody has their thing. That season's good.

We talked about that earlier. This current season is quite good as well. I like all the actors. I like the premise. And I like that the most hardcore thing that's happened is there was an attempted rape. And they're they're like we're gonna it's people that make snuff films they capture a character and they're like

they're like um he's got 10 inches over there and he's gonna he's gonna make your any and outtie and it was just like oh no he's gonna rape you yeah he's gonna rape you and and and the but but she's like she's like she's like yeah take this viagra because he's gonna rape you and and the pink sock you too but but she's like she's like she's like yeah take this viagra because he's gonna fuck you while you fuck me you might as well get some enjoyment out of this that or he'll blow your brains out right now and he's just like fuck but he's not he's damn i haven't seen that part of or haven't seen that episode yeah oh i i'm i don't think i'm caught up i think maybe a new episode just came out. So I'm going to check it out when I get off. This is American Horror Story.

American Horror Story. Newest season. It's on Hulu. It's like a vampire premise this time. Vampire premise this season. But with a really interesting spin. Essentially, I'll give away the main plot point. It's that there are these pills that you can take that make you,

if you have some innate talent, like if you're an okay painter now you are fucking picasso as long as you take these pills if you are a one of the characters is a screenplay writer he writes for like you know procedural dramas like like cop shows and shit now he's fucking mark twain now like he sends off like a season's worth of work in a day, and Quentin Tarantino is on board. Netflix is like, yeah, we want two seasons of this. Everybody is eating it up because it's so brilliant. But it makes you into a vampire. You need to drink blood now to sustain yourself.

However, if you take the pill and you don't have innate skill you're a hack you're you thought you had some skill you thought you were good at a thing but let's be real you just you're a pretender now you turn into like a mindless like creature of the night like like real fucked up and creepy looking the only thing that's a little unbelievable is the ones who are creepy and like fucked up i can't imagine how they haven't been hunted down by the authorities yeah that's confusing like the sheriff is just like oh yeah all those all those drug addicts out there and it's like lady does that look like a drug addict to you they're dripping in blood like and like the way it is is like like they aren't being sneaky

there's one scene where like all of the ghouls they just are out in a well-lit street at like 7 p.m like you know twitching around and herky jerky twitching thing it's really hard to look at and they look just like nosferatu like the old like first vampire movie where he's like completely bald and like like like spiky teeth yeah and which is a bit of a weird plot thing because like how did they get their teeth spiky because like the other people didn't get their teeth spiky well or maybe they did a little bit yeah not as much though you haven't caught up you haven't caught up yeah but but but in any case really good season i'm digging so far it's interesting though like in the in the art for the show, you know,

the thumbnails, there's an alien in the thumbnail, like holding the vampire. And I'm wondering if there's some sort of like alien dynamic that's yet to be revealed. So I'm waiting on that. Probably. I bet there'll be another layer. They're only like what? Five episodes out maybe? Four.

I think maybe three or four. Yeah. I'm wondering if you popped one of those pills, Kyle, if you'd become like the Picasso of jerking off. Maybe. You might. I blow a load, and it looks like some fuck. It's just abstract art. At least your distance will be javelin throw levels.

Or the god of vampirism will be like, that's not a talent. You take pills for that. You become a retard. The other big thing that happened this week was Rick and Morty. Both the ninth and tenth episodes were released simultaneously.

Seasons wrapped up. And so they spent the first eight episodes roughly being episodic. Like creature of the week stuff, like different things. The last two episodes, all about the big plot. They cover – no spoilers here, but like we get back to Evil Morty. We get Rick's backstory, like full backstory, and we get like overarching changes to the universe that are it's like oh

shit some stuff's gonna be stuck to you in for the next season where are you is it on hulu so i purchased it and then i have to watch it on delay on amazon i think so like it takes like an extra day because i'm not getting the cartoon network streaming service and i don't have cable so i watch it like the day after on amazon i haven't seen any of season five do you watch ted lasso he doesn't even know this show i've seen bill so it's uh it's on apple so it's not widely distributed and um uh the premise is this there's an american football coach who was actually a pretty good football coach and this soccer team in England, what they would call football,

loses. It gets its coach fired, so they hire him and they bring him over. I'm sleepy because I binged watched it last night until 4 a.m. It's not that high-T a show, but it's just a dude with incredible

EQ dealing with a difficult situation. The whole country is calling him a wanker and he's like stays positive and wants to win him over. And it's a half hour show, but it's like 22 minutes or something, you know, because that's how commercials work. And I just eaten these things like candy. I'm just watching like eight episodes in a night, cranking through them because I want to know what's next. It sounds cool. So I've seen the previews for that.

Apple TV is the last bastion that I will not fucking, it won't happen. I'm not buying Apple TV. Wait, that's not, do you have Paramount Plus? Yeah. Yeah, he does. Wow. Does Apple TV have anything good?

I have Peacock. Peacock's free. I'm pretty sure Peacock is free. does wow you know i does apple tv have anything good i have peacock i have peacocks free i'm pretty sure peacock yeah if you want to watch commercials like a peasant i have i have cbs all access i have brit box okay that's right you haven't heard of it. That's the point. I wonder what your monthly costs are. It doesn't matter what my monthly costs are. I don't want to know. I should probably join that Plex service. Probably $120

or something like that. Probably get a new debit card and save like $70 a month you didn't know you were spending. Likely. Likely. I have all of the services. and like kitty and i share a lot of services as well like that's why i have brit box she watches like downton abbey or some shit uh and like she she i wasn't gonna get cbs all access but she got it because she's a star trek fan as well and so now i i had access to picard when i was just gonna pirate it or something like

that but now I have it. I wish I pirated it still. It's awful. I wanted to ask you about some Rick and Morty. Is it any you said the first couple episodes like quite a while ago when you're watching it as it came out that they were good. Not quite, you know, as epic as the first couple seasons. Were you annoyed that they took so long off the core plot because i'm actually interested in that like the evil morty thing it was it was fun yeah um it was a it it was an overall an okay season um better than not i wouldn't say it's a bad season not a great season

either there were a couple of cool episodes i like the there was an episode where like there were like so many contingent copies, you know, how Rick always had these like contingency plans. They were like, there was this thing where like, he made a copy of the whole family as like, like,

like duplicates so that they would take the hit. If like aliens came to kill them, but those duplicates were so well made that they thought that they were the real Rick and Morty and and family so of course they get the same idea we need duplicates in case like there's ever someone but it keeps going and going until they're just but but it's like a copy of a copy right so by the end there are these wooden like like marionette rick and morty's who are just like kill me but they're super evil and they want to be real boys. So they're like capturing real Rick's and Morty's and skinning them alive and

wearing their flesh. So that's a pretty good episode. I like that. It's a good, there's a Thanksgiving episode where, um, they decide that they know that like, I think,

I think, I think maybe the premise was that like Rick and Morty were going to try to sneak into the white house. Um, this guy's just turkeys. They were going to transform to sneak into the White House disguised as turkeys. They were going to transform themselves into turkeys and get snuck in. Oh, Rick wants a pardon. He wants to trick the president into a pardon.

Transforms himself into a turkey so that he will be the turkey that gets pardoned. And legally binding. and the president and legally binding and so the president instead of being like all right well we won't pardon any turkeys today he's like all right i need a c i need seal team six and like like like six like commandos come in comes in and they build a machine to turn those soldiers into turkeys and put them into the truck as well so they're trying to find out like like which one is a real Turkey and which one is Rick and things go very awry. So that was okay.

There's one with like, I don't know how to explain it. Basically Megatron Rick, Rick wants all the pieces required to create a Megatron of these like ferret bot things. The best episode that wasn't part of the, the evil Morty thing was the captain planet episode where they had like a female captain planet called planetina and um and her

and morty really like kick it off and like like like care for each other but obviously captain planet was back in the 90s right like early 90s like that's when i was a kid but the plant so the planeteers are like in their 40s now and they're pieces of shit so like so like like you know kwame and all i'm like the earth wind fire like like heart guy like they're all just complete scumbags who are like overweight and bald and like they're running they're like using planetina to like make as much money as possible they're like they've got her trade shows and stuff and like she just wants to be like her own person fight for the environment and fuck morty and there's this whole clash going on it's great that was a really good episode but yeah it was an okay season um some ups and downs yeah it's still a good show even if it's dropped off a bit

i like it god my throat hurts that sucks man two hours to go and then you can go to bed yeah i might be up i don't know i don hours to go, and then you can go to bed. Yeah. I might be up. I don't know. I don't really feel sleepy. And then there's another show I've been watching. I'm trying to think what it is.

Oh, I had a thing. I've gone back to watching Sopranos because my sleep schedule is so bad that I just need something playing. Can you tell me about your sleep schedule right now, Kyle? I'm always interested where you're at. Because I'm sick. I've been trying to sleep through the sickness. I feel like you heal so much better when you are asleep. Oh my god.

Somebody just won $1,500 in one hand of poker. Jesus Christ. It's not that much. In a Discord podcast hangout? Okay, it's your guys'. I thought it was World Series of Poker. No, no.

That's very unimpressed. This is in our $50 Discord. Some guy's just playing for funsies. Oh, congratulations to him. Yeah. Oh, he bought back for another $2,000 though. So he literally was like, give me $2,000 more more and he sat right back down

that that dude doesn't play any shit um but yeah so i was trying to sleep as much as possible and uh so there were days where i would sleep like 15 hours like i'd wake up in between a lot because i'm just drinking so much juice and nonsense but like 15 straight hours get up eat a meal be up for like four hours and then try to go right back to sleep. And like I did that for like three days, like sleeping as much as humanly possible. Last night I played poker for like three hours, made a few hundred bucks and then went to bed at like midnight. And then I woke up this morning at like nine, 10 a.m., something like that. And so I've been up. So like it's kind of normal, like at the very moment, but it could go awry i don't know it depends how these antibiotics affect me

um i'm really hoping i wake up tomorrow feeling like 100 better like my throat is just fucking killing me if not 100 it'll be markedly better like you're definitely going to be on the down i hope so i hope you're good to go in 12 hours. I took my second tablet an hour ago or something like that. I take three the first day. Three every day. You probably can't eat all the food you're required at all right now. I've been eating soft stuff. For lunch, I had a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant.

Everything is mushy and soft. I had pasta salad. So it's just noodles. But I'm definitely not eating cereal or, I don't know, crunchy, crispy things. Swallowing water hurts. When Woody gets back, I'm going to give it some fucking numbing spray because it's getting worse the more I talk. I don't know. I got a topic for

conversation i guess we were i thought chis wanted me to come on and talk about this actually right after it broke but we got canceled super heavily by fat chicks i know have you guys heard about this i heard i heard a bit about it yeah yeah this was this was pretty juicy so these fat chicks dredged up an old podcast clip of mine from december that i just had no recollection of and looking back it was one of those rants that just comes from above where it's it's you can't even take credit for it like i imagine beethoven composed symphonies that were similar it's just out of nowhere, it was, you haven't heard this thing. It was like, it was the point where you're like 75% through your podcast.

So for you guys, it's maybe the three hour, 15 minute mark where the conversations died out. There's a lull sort of like there is right now. So I just, I just come in with, is there anything more worthless than the bottom half of a fat girl? I mean, especially, and especially a titless fat girl and i said if her boobies don't come out past her big belly she should be shot in the head like a cow what do you i'm talking about uh the the issue i had with obese women they tried to cancel us lately so it was yeah i wish i didn't miss the beginning no no it's just now starting yeah i'm just cooking up i was just telling them it was what it came from one of those moments where there was just

a lull in the podcast like last december we were just bored we were about to go on vacation i wasn't taking it seriously and i just started talking about how um nothing is worse than the bottom half of a fat girl because the the good thing about a fat girl and i was fucking around is that you it's easy to get a blow job and generally their tits are large enough to be to be fuckable to be fun yeah yeah and if you can get them in a hot tub the tits will be bobbing above the surface is there a problem with this well it got a little it got a teensy teensy bit worse woody i i i suggested that because the bottom half of fat women is so worthless that we should really just bring back feudal samurais and put the fat women into warehouses. And we measure their tit to belly ratio. If the areolas don't protrude past the navel, then the guy walks up pulls a katana and i i'm talking

a katana as sharp as the one from kill bill something like that just pull it out and that woman should just be dissected bisected rather right there on the warehouse floor and that's all i remember saying i i haven't gone back and watched the full clip but the way the way i said it and again it was completely non-intellectual it was just this passion that welled up inside of me and uh yeah and uh i mean it wasn't it wasn't pre-written material i guess is what i'm getting at but i and then i saw it like in march it surfaced on this uh tiktok called the of Podcasting, and it was there for positive reasons. The guy who ran the page thought it was really funny, and a bunch of kids in the comments fucking loved it. But then, oddly, five months or however long it's been since March later, the feminists got their sweaty, grubby fingers on it.

And they, a bunch of them, I heard about it for like a week before anything of consequence happened people will tell me about it on patreon they dm me like haha and then it got really big because some girl with 500 000 a million tiktoks started talking about how these men need to be kicked off the Internet. YouTube needs to change their community standards. And these men need to be deplatformed. So from that point on, it was a feeding frenzy, almost literally a feeding frenzy. Hungry fat women were in my comments. And we were talking about earlier wings, how people are calling him a rapist.

And we were talking about earlier wings, how people are calling him a rapist. And we also talked about how these fat women are saying it's not all right to have preferences. Well, sort of in that same vein, they their logic was that because I had said mean things in complete jest, obviously, about fat women, that now I was no longer a person and that anything that was said or done to me was completely valid so the um the seeing the true colors of the woke mob was very interesting these people who claimed to be moral and um like ethically the this guy said something i don't like take his livelihood from him dude my everybody everybody was calling my girlfriend like the meanest things you could possibly think i was called a rapist they were attacking my hairline a rumor got out that i was five foot five and they everybody was like height shaming me um well you fat isn't that funny it's like haha this guy said horrible things about fat women

he's five or five attack him attack him what a loser he's got a small dick he's balding he's he's got sun damage under his eyes his girlfriend's a fucking ugly cunt like and then like people would go as far as telling me they hope my parents get raped and murdered in front of me but uh yeah man it was it was fucking hilarious though because it's one thing to get canceled for saying something racist then you it's not exactly cool or humble to to be retaliating to be talking shit back and if you get canceled for some sort of sexual thing then that's really taboo and there's not much you can do you oh i mean sexual act like like eating jokes is different than non-consensual sex yeah exactly like if that happens even if it's a false accusation you kind of just have to deny and then just kind of disappear for a while but when it's the fucking fat jokes like you can say anything

you want back to these people so just every day on my Instagram story and my posts, it would be more thinly veiled fat jokes like, hey, guys, dropping some more merch this week. Bad news, however, there was a fire at the fulfillment center and all women's sizes other than extra small were burned. Please support anyway. I hope you guys will pick up a shirt and it was something like that constantly and then like after every one of those they'd like hey guys i really feel awful about that last joke i swear this is getting to me tomorrow i'm going to apologize i will and then the next day comes and it's it's fucking i'm enlisting a new exercise program in my youtube crew and they will be fired if their body fat percentage ever exceeds five. And it's like it's still been going on.

And these women still want us to apologize. And some of them are still holding their breath like, you said you were going to apologize. And when you call the situation your bay of pigs, that wasn't an apology. That wasn't an be fair that's far and away the best joke this is your baby if you want to get to danny the trick is a hunger strike hey uh full disclosure taylor that was my buddy uh cigar guy who came up with that one so it wasn't even my joke that was a good but the rant is the rant is maybe the battle of the bulge the battle of the bulge is good nice fucking solid dude um but yeah they

ended up all they ended up being able to do was they canceled sauce war yeah yeah i didn't even know that was a historical event but it's still funny is that real yeah yeah okay sauce war um all they ended up being able to do because i mean fat people aren't a protected category there's no youtube community guideline that protects them except for drowning but yeah all they could do they canceled our live podcast that we they canceled two of them we were trying to do in LA. A stand-up venue called Fourth Wall here. Just completely pushed out. Completely pushed out.

They should have been on board with the anti-fat thing. I feel like it's part of the culture there. That's very true as well. Danny's outranked. The economy. Gotta go with whoever's higher on the woke totem. So they canceled two events

both in la maybe yeah so we ended up just doing the live show in a park and it still worked but um yeah it was just interesting to see the big takeaway to me was that how full of shit the the woke left really is because it became clear that what this was was it was just whenever somebody is canceled quote unquote it's just it's just the starting gun that allows miserable people who like leftist politics or their new religion and it gives them the starting gun to go be awful like it's okay for it's like the purge for the next two weeks you can do whatever you want to this canceled person and you're still a good person. That was really interesting to see.

And, and lastly, it was just, it's fun to see what happens when somebody tries to cancel you and you just keep making fun of them. It just goes away. Like it just Peters out. Did it make some so mad?

Yeah. And it was just delicious. Someone else making fat jokes or someone doing something they don't like. And it's funny. Like it's always like, especially with like fat stuff. It's like like. And it's funny, like it's always like, especially with like fat stuff. It's like, so obviously it's always the,

there's not a brigade of very thin people going to your fucking comment section and being like solidarity with my enormous brothers and sisters. Like it's, it's always someone like whatever their pet thing is. That's what they freak out about and everything yeah their pet thing is that you could be short or that you could have a little dick so they don't care about that they don't care about body shape what you're true yeah yeah you're five foot one and and if anything like like making fun of someone's height is infinitely infinitely

meaner than weight you can't go on a heightening diet yeah that's just who you are you could lose weight the dick size thing i feel like is maybe worse i don't know like you can't grow your dick either you can't grow your dick and if it's too small there can be like a whole sense of i don't know lack of self-worth around it whereas short guys can just hold their chin up high and be okay well they hold their chin up medium and yeah but if your dick's two inches long like that sucks man like it's it's two inches long that is brutal that's that's another thing that happened to me too like in recent this was this week yeah my cock shrunk no uh i grew actually uh no i accidentally well i pulled my cock out on our podcast and it's funny i it was basically doing the stunt i did when i first came

on your guys's podcast i was just pissing in a can because i needed to piss and i did that and i tell my producer right after the show hey man you're gonna you're gonna blur my cock out right can you please write down the time stamp there? Make sure that gets mosaicked. Yeah, yeah, no problem, Danny. I got that. This kid smokes a lot of fucking weed, by the way. So it takes multiple attempts to get through to him. The next morning at noon, hey, Austin, you mosaicked out my penis, right?

Don't want that going live. Oh, yeah, I washed it back twice, man. Totally mosaicked. Okay, great. At noon, I see the podcast went live i'm like okay great i uh check back in at like noon or like 12 30 rather to see how it's going the podcast is no longer live and i'm thinking okay it's a little fishy and uh hey austin why is the podcast down you remember to blur my penis right yeah yeah i totally did but there was just this one second

danny just this one second work your hand i think it was just like the like the webbing between your thumb and your pointer finger it looks like your penis so just community standards a lot of fat girls reporting us right now wanted to mosaic it i'm like okay so um why didn't you just use the youtube studio blur feature instead of taking down the entire video? Because it was deleted. Yeah. And then I'm like, you,

you didn't mosaic my cock out. Right. And he's like, Danny, I feel sick to my stomach right now, man. You want to fire me? You want to fire me?

I totally understand. I'm, I'm, I'm going to be better. I'm going to sleep more. I'm going to stop smoking so much. So there's like a five second clip. There's like a five second clip of my very unimpressive,

just limp cock, full frontal on the podcast in 10 ADP, dude. And it's of course, read it just all over it. And I'm sure they didn't copy it and save it. Oh yeah. They're gentlemen.

I'm sure they weren't mean about it. No, just like they, just like they respected Diego Sanchez, his phone number, they respected my penis privacy. I'll throw a link to Danny Mullen's leaked picture, and we'll see if this was truly deserving of being taken down

by the fascists that you see. Did you see Justin Bieber's dick? Oh, yeah, it's big. That was many, many years ago. Was it not? Am I misremembering? Am I misremembering? Yeah, something like that. Okay. that was many many years ago right was it not am i like four am i am i yeah it's okay so anyway uh his dick was it was big and i feel like it's hard to say some guy has a big dick because like it

clearly defines yours as smaller than that oh you think ten inches is big huh kyle are you looking for my dick right now kyle's tuned out he's yeah he's looking for my dick right now? Kyle's tuned out. Yeah, he's looking for my cock. I'm also looking for it. Kyle is the fifth best person here at this. There we go. There we go.

I don't even want to look at it. I don't want to see myself in that look. I don't want to see it. Oh, there it is. There it is. How interesting. Wait, hold on. I haven't clicked it see myself in that. Oh, there it is. There it is. How interesting. Wait, hold on. I haven't clicked it yet.

God damn it. There she is. You're fine. Thank you, Woody. Oh, so Justin Bieber. He's just shaking your dick. Which is fucking me. Oh, no.

Oh, no. And claims it was shrinkage. And it's like, you asshole. You you ask no one pulls out like a 10 inch flaccid dick and you're giving justin too much credit justin had a nice girthy good limp cock like it wasn't a 10 it wasn't like a bbc a boy's star so like yeah girls i need to see it again it's been years but it and uh it's been years i need to look at i haven't seen justin bieber's cock at a coon's age it's hardly even burned into my retinas anymore i can just i can hardly remember it dude what what sucks though is like i just i

mean i had to go my penis it's um i i I don't know. There's just a lot of variation based on the season, based on the temperature in the room. And I have a huge nutsack to the kind of like absorbs. Yeah, it's seasonal. My nutsack will like absorb sometimes up to an inch of shaft. Yeah. Humidity is big. Windchill. The curvature of the earth.

Yeah. Your dick's getting smaller. the higher the plane gets. Electromagnetism factors in. But I just had no... I assumed my producer was going to blur that shit. The Alan radiation belt. Yeah, exactly. And then also where Polaris is relative to Orion.

Danny, do you think that he blurred it and didn't do a perfect job? Like the story he told? Or did he just flat out lie to you and that he blurred it and didn't do a perfect job like the story he told? Or did he just flat out lie to you and say he did it when he didn't? I think that. I think he smoked so much weed that in his reality,

a daydream is sometimes a thing that happened. When he said he rewatched it twice, I think he thought about re-watching it twice and then forgot that he didn't do it i think i like him and i mean like you gotta be good because you've you've pissed off fat women and a lot of fat women are witches and they'll cast a spell on you um i already got revenge on him though because like i I obviously I what I did is I we did a full video on this. There's a video coming out next week where I made him dress like a transgender pedophile.

I took him to Ross, got him a pearl necklace, got him a nice Care Bear jacket, made him put some lipstick on. And then I got a gigantic like 50 gallon trash can at Home Depot and made him take an ice bath and then had a photographer take a bunch of nude photos of him right when he got out. And we're going to be posting those simultaneously on Twitter when the video drops. So there will be revenge. That is that's some pretty good revenge. And then we just murder him. We just kill him. Yeah, that's not good.

Danny will take naked voyeur shots and post them. every one of your videos it's like all right we're here to talk to people at la no we're actually gonna go measure our penises just the guys at the at the you know old country store wherever yeah the antique store in uh fucking bishop california that was the thing that happened there's that happened. There's a lot of cock, dude. A lot of cock. That's funny. Penises are funny. How long is your podcast? My podcast is about an hour and 45 minutes. He might have been

right to take it down. I have occasionally used the blur effect or something like that. It can take YouTube on our four-hour video eight hours for that effect to get changed and put out there well he didn't private it he completely deleted it which was the red flag to me because he was afraid it was going to get reported or something even though it was private so that's what i knew he fucking panicked

like i knew something was seriously wrong when he deleted it okay yeah yeah i can see maybe you private and then put it back but Yeah, just hope the blur effect is going to be speedy and protect your modesty. That's not the move. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kyle's looking at me different since he's seen my penis. No, I'm just

focusing on just swallowing the spit. One hour and 50 minutes? Is that what you're thinking? Focusing on the darkness inside of me i'm just just just just trying to be one with it let's check out this uh i'll make in the show yeah iron man are you are you like is i know like you're probably really bummed by it but like are you more bummed than you thought that you just no gym no continuing with like with progress like i'm sure that hurts almost as much as the, the, not, not a little annoying, but it's like, it's just like,

I shouldn't go in case I do have COVID. I don't want to like, and you shouldn't lift it. You're sick. You that you have strep, which is like a little bitch disease. Children have cool kids get strep can be brutal. It can be so horrible and also can you imagine like you're like about to get into a really difficult push day with strep throat oh my god like you would never have shit yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't make a week of lifting i'm afraid i broke my hand but shit hold it up is it swollen no it right here it what did she say

really it took it took me a second i thought it was a fisting joke at first ah domestic violence i talked about on pk so quickly i was on a dirt bike there's a tree into the trail and it kind of like hit the bark buster and the effect was with your wrist bent like this because the throttle's on it pushed it backwards really hard kind of like you know how people hurt their hands when they land palm down well it was that but I was holding the handlebars and the first three or four days

my healing was moving along so well I was like dude it's gonna be okay and then it has paused so now I'm more concerned we'll see I so i'm breaking way too many fucking bones you are with your hobbies before we jump to the next thing we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors uh fall is here and we could all use a stiff breeze that's right this episode is sponsored by blue chew guys confidence can take you far in life it can also

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we were going to have them on the show so i drank some last night uh before bed and yeah i slept really well made me very sleepy so i like that they have that hotline to help you figure out your dose okay i imagine they ask you questions about your other i want to say cbd consumption but i'm trying to say do you smoke pot and you know they help you gauge your tolerance and maybe maybe your size i don't know what they consider and then figure out what's right for you that's cool yeah it's a very cool service so check it out feals.com slash pka uh the link for them and blue chew is below so there you go there you go wonderful products just for you guys yeah and i like i love these little fancy tubes that come in yeah their packaging was top notch yeah i love that about about brands like when

they have really on point presentation and packaging it's like all right some priorities are in place here do you think that your job makes you more in tune with that probably yeah yeah and then sometimes you'll see a product where it's like on amazon i remember i bought some uh like it was like a and kyle's recommended this brand it's called thorn brand supplements he said like oh they're really good and i ordered some and like at least the one i got like the packaging is was dingy it had like a sticky feel to it and it was like what the fuck like i have b vitamins from like nature made or whatever which was cheap as shit and it has a way better packaging than thorn and so it was like just that it was like if you're going to charge that amount spend the extra 11 cents in manufacturing manufacturing and get a really good looking, get a glass bottle instead of a plastic one, like really make it seem high quality. It's probably more than that, though.

Oh, yeah. For glass, it would be more than that. For it was scuff controllers. Right. So you might remember scuff controllers. They had little paddles on the back so that you could leave your thumbs on the stick and still press the buttons cool um he was talking to me about the packaging and it was expensive i want to say it was like 11 for that high-end box and the high-end foam and you know this is a controller that costs

between like 150 and 220 so 11 on the box isn't like outrageous i just somehow thought that when you bought products like that in bulk they were two dollars not 11 yeah but man scuffed controllers blast from the past everybody was sponsored by them for a while but he wanted everyone to have like a premier unboxing experience he felt like it was worth it oh for sure yeah then everybody watching the video is like man i want the high quality experience yeah you know and you i'm sure you've seen like as a maybe not as a content creator they would sometimes send me things that were just special for me like you know yeah when i got my copy of battlefield it came in a freaking ammo canister with like other stuff and clothes and I think it had a

GoPro in it like shit like that not everyone is getting this in their battlefield copy mostly they get a plastic bag from GameStop but this isn't that this is everybody gets this you know anything special for content creator so

but yeah I think that stuff's interesting it is have you ever used CBD Dannyd danny or you're not even like a weed smoker are you i am my girlfriend basically has gotten me hooked on edible so her and i just waste away on the weekends we eat some caminos we go to museums we get brunch but cbd has always um i i'd like left a sour taste in my mouth because i was down in la like four years ago trying to get a job when i first moved here and i was just desperate i had no self-confidence i was going to shitty italian pizzerias places like that i went into a pizzeria trying desperately to get a job the manager basically said you have to work italian to work

here so we're not going to hire you wasn't even qualified enough to make eight dollars an hour making pies and on the way out though one of his buddies was there he's like hey kid take my card and it was a fucking card for a cbd product of some sort he's like you you said you were a comedian you were trying to do some sort of YouTube thing. Maybe we can do a brand deal. I, of course, never reached out to him, but I just walked out thinking, fuck LA and fuck this pizza

place and fuck CBD. That's always been my attitude. What a terrible takeaway. You don't get hired by someone. I was trying to get a job job an opportunity falls in my lap fuck them right so as i'm leaving the italian place angry i hate everyone around me also yeah the cbd what if that guy is like running feels cbd right yeah you could have made some it's like the on it of cbd and i could have made some money. It's like the on it of CBD, and I could have been their flagship contact creator.

How long were you out there until you got a job? Well, I moved down here, and the game plan was I was going to work at this Thai place that paid outrageous amounts in tips. It was going to be $300 a night in tips, and they wanted me to come down in stage. And when I worked at restaurants, I worked at five star luxury French places in San Francisco. When we bring in somebody to stage, what does that mean? Technically, it's like it's like French for tryout. But when we brought somebody in, I mean, it was like 100 percent higher rate unless they had some serious defect personality wise and or work ethic wise. And so I thought the job was mine i get down to

this place i stage it's great like the other servers are smoking hot like big teddy chicks this dude's like bro this is the spot you're gonna make so much money dude i can welcome aboard and then of course like a fucking week later they call me and say yeah i'm sorry we went with somebody else and another lady, that was their type. So you worked for free one night, kind of? Yes. And they didn't like the way you worked? Yes, which is absurd because I was just obviously trying my hardest.

I mean, I was taking it very seriously. Nothing I did could have possibly turned them off. I think Taylor's on the right track when he says they just wanted another big titty chick to balance out the ratio. But that left me with really, really low job-seeking self-esteem. I mean, I got into UCLA. That's where I went to college.

But I went the community college route, which is like the back door. I mean, it's one step above these people who uh had their rich sitcom star parents buy their way into usc for 500 at a high school or at a community college community college which i mean to get in out of high school you have to be the captain of the basketball team the yearbook editor have a 4.2 and score like a 1600 on your SAT. Community college, you just have to stay awake during class and you're in for two years. So it's super easy.

That's what it takes maybe to graduate community college. But to get into UCLA afterwards, you still have to be someone of note. Dude, the people who go to community college in Sacramento are like methadone addicts. I mean, there would be classes where I would just do the homework and just maybe dedicate like two hours to studying. And I would just have like the best grade in the class because everybody

else is so hopeless. Nothing you can say. I'm still proud of you for getting into UCLA after out of community college. And the fact that you were surrounded by people who didn't have that work ethic. And you're like, dude,

like by comparison, that's still impressive. Like you great what do you what do you can we you know can we have a weekly call where you just pump up my i mean you were the only one who said anything positive about my penis and now you're just loving that i want to use i think i said it was fine somebody i think kyle just made like a disappointed noise so you can't even judge you they're fully flaccid anything could have been you know and where you could go from there nobody knows and um the um the fucking i don't know i was trying to bring up some obscure metric that would relate to my penis size what's the one where there's like this you bring the balloon over the jar and there's like a straw tape to it

that wasn't right the barometric pressure was way off but when i got out of ucla like i didn't feel like i earned anything like i didn't feel like i earned my way in and then the classes were super easy because all the professors at ucla all they care about is their research like they're flying to egypt and or fucking uh like uh mesopotamia and working on nebuchadnezzar's tomb or something. They don't give a shit about like grading your paper hard. They just give everybody an a, if they try or a B, if they don't.

I guarantee you, there's like a half of the student body. Who's like, UCLA is so hard. I was, if you're pre-med. Yeah. And now I can't pass anymore.

I was a standout and now I exist in this community of elites and I don't stand out anymore meanwhile Danny's fucking killing it and thinking that he's not special carry on no I I swear it's I am not trying to be modest and I'm not some boy genius north campus at UCLA which is like the soft sciences and especially history is famously easy but then I got out and i just like i always wanted to be a comedy writer and that's what i started doing in college so my attitude was that i was too good for any job i had so i would always get fired or everybody would hate me because i'd show up late i'd slack i'd always ask for time off and And I just I didn't like see any value in anybody hiring me. So like I couldn't

look the people in the eye when I was getting interviewed because I knew like you're going to regret the hiring. I have to lie and say you won't right now. So when I got down to L.A. after I got snubbed by the Thai place, i tried some other italian place not the pizza parlor like a luxury italian place and they i staged for them they everybody loved me they paid me unlike the thai place but then after three shifts they're like hey man we're sorry to tell you this but the guy who you were filling in for that's right you were filling in you weren't staging he's coming back we don't have a job for you and that's that was it was fucked up and it was like five years four years into trying to be a comedy writer and i remember just being in my mercury sable on the

curb after that at like midnight in the like la night just thinking like dude you are a fucking loser and this sucks like it doesn't get much worse than this nobody can say you don't have thick skin dude and luckily it turned around it's your character how does one try to be a comedy writer right like like so i i get the basics you're typing on your computer but then what are there like requests for scripts do you cold call people like yeah go ahead yeah so i started out and you guys will probably know who i'm talking about the guy who really inspired me to get into comedy writing was tucker max i'm not sure if you've heard of them he was a guy who wrote way way back in the day he was him and maddox i read exactly right yeah they were he wrote

non-fiction stories about his life that were just funny, like him getting hammered drunk, him having sex with a deaf girl, whatever, those sorts of things. And I had lived a lot of interesting life thingies or at least so I thought at that time. And so I just started writing in that mode and I put out three books on Amazon that are up. There's one about jerk off parlors. That's like all true. One about all true one about um when my girlfriend told me she banged a black dude with a giant cock and i had like a psychological breakdown it's got a great cover it's at least worth looking at the cover it's called when your girlfriend bangs a black dude and then i i put out one called uh and uh a really uh metaphor laced title i didn't didn't hit that nail on the head or anything. And then there was one called Home,

which was about the year I spent living with my parents after I graduated college, where I was just a piece of shit. But I realized pretty quickly, Woody, I think after three years of doing that, I released the book Home, which I thought was going to be my big breakthrough into the mainstream. And I remember checking the sales dashboard after like 24 hours trying to restrain myself from looking at it like don't do it don't it's gonna be you're gonna pull it up and you're gonna have sold a thousand copies and it's good six copies like in my like 99 of my email list didn't even buy it and and at that point like there was another another just a moment of self-doubt, huge depression period. Exactly. Like I remember being at my busboy job, just staring into a wall thinking like, dude, you are nothing like this.

You fucking suck. The next pivot after that was I decided I was going to be a Hollywood TV writer and I applied to screenwriting school at usc and ucla and for my writing sample quite ingeniously i attached when your girlfriend bangs a black dude which you didn't even put the one that you thought was going to be like your coup de grace no i i wanted to hook them taylor and And when your girlfriend bangs a black, I think when you made that decision, that was when I was 26. OK, and what I was really scared about and what I think it was, it was so true. And I'm really glad I didn't go through with that. Well, first of all, I got aggressively rejected from both USC and UCLA.

So let's not make it seem like they were prejudiced. So let's not make it seem like they were prejudiced. Let's not make it seem like I was about to get a staff gig on BoJack Horseman or something. I was very far from that still. But I know for a fact it would have been even worse than working at a big corporation. The level of political correctness that exists in Hollywood circles. I'm reading 1984 right now, and it's insane how prophetic that book is. But there is a chapter that really resonated with me where there's something called the two minutes of hate, where everybody in the office, they flash up a

picture of the enemy of the state and everybody has to scream at the screen, which, of course, well, it's Emmanuel Goldstein in that book. But nowadays we will recognize that as Donald Trump. It's like everybody in public. You have to be seen screaming at Trump. Well, that's how it is in Hollywood. If you don't send out a certain amount of anti-Trump tweets daily, if you don't have your pronouns in your bio on Instagram, if you didn't put up that fucking black square after the George Floyd thing, like you're going to lose your job or you're never going to get hired again.

And I realized fast that I couldn't live in that 1984 world. And that the best way to avoid that is to do what you guys are doing to just do things on my own. Do your own shit. Oh yeah. We had a calculated five year plan on this thing. Yeah. The meetings that are go on behind the scenes scene you guys don't even know this show is scripted yeah i sat down with the producer every story i've told i went through with janice

a bunch of times the show's four hours we've been on here for 12. you know we have a dry run. Dress rehearsal. Can you imagine how horrible it would be if I were beginning the dry run of our four-hour podcast? This is really interesting stuff, man.

You went through a huge amount of disappointment and self-doubt. It seems like not even just self-doubt, looking at yourself in the mirror like, you fucking loser, you fucking idiot. are you doing yeah what did you do anything to pull yourself out of that mentally or did you just fully pivot i'm doing my own thing and or what was kind of your what was going to be your breaking point where you're like i'm gonna go get a normal job if if it doesn't pan out or did or were you so like i'm not doing that shit that like yeah i

don't care if i'm making you know 30 grand a year were you so like, I'm not doing that shit that like, yeah, I don't care if I'm making, you know, 30 grand a year for the most niche audiences. I'm not going to do that. I'm doing what I want. Yeah. I think Taylor, it wasn't really a certain thing,

like a precise moment. It just, I'm pretty optimistic generally. And even when I'm really, really fucking bummed out, like, I mean, even if I got completely Alex Jones,

D platformed, I would be bummed for a while. But then I would just get to work building my website to restart on a dot com. That's how I'm wired. So I always just look like if things aren't going well, I'll always just look for the solution and how to fix it. And I started to realize as I got later into my 20s that I wasn't going to be young for very long. And then I wasn't going to be young for very long and that I wasn't going to be alive for very long either, that life is pretty short and that I had no interest working for somebody else. And it wasn't the nature of a job.

I mean, I could tell just from the structure of being told what to do and when to clock in and when your vacation is that I wasn't into those restrictions. Really? That bothers you? Because. So you're a self-starter. That's clear to me. And I find it interesting that you're like, I cannot come to work when you tell me to.

You will obviously go to work when you tell you to. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I just like getting better at stuff. And I love that youtube and comedy it's like um i mean there you can't ever stop getting good that's why i like jujitsu too that's why people like martial arts it just i like progressing and like i want to get better at the acting side of comedy like taylor is like he can do a bunch of characters and also taylor this is probably the single forum you could use your skill set like you could never be in a writer's room in hollywood

doing your indian or your fucking nigerian character no probably not so it's great doing it don't you think though dude i mean at this point on stage doing impressions i don't think people would like or that people it would be one of those things where it's like you know people laugh at it and they like it and then one blogger you know says they don't and then their blogger friends promote it and then there's like a false you know picture of people are in outrage over xyz and it's like no it's not that tweet has three likes you fucking bitch like yeah people liked it yeah i think bill burr talked about some comedian talked about that where he's like yeah i was killing this room and then someone got offended and they like went out and wrote on the internet as though there was a vote nationally

of who liked it and who didn't and i was on the wrong side of history or some nonsense and it's like yeah that like those like kind of astroturfed uh things they do happen to try and fuck people over how many problems do you think you work danny um i work 13 hours a day uh during the week and then i usually when we shoot we're just working like dawn till dusk on saturday so a lot probably like 70 something i'm trying to get better about that i've got two editors now that help me out and um i want to start getting like writers on board i'm trying to live a more normal life um but uh because i'm starting to realize that if like when i'm miserable i'm just not doing good work so there's no point really in making yourself miserable it's better to be happy and be slightly less productive that'll be more productive in the end you have to

have a little time to live your life too right right? Like if everything is based on the ideas and the experiences you've had so far, but you're not refilling that kettle, I don't know, whatever it is. Yeah. Every so often then you'll run out of material. Yeah, totally. As podcasters, that's a big issue for us. Yeah. We, I mean, there's only so much talking I can do about masturbation i've i've pretty much exhausted the topic so talk about the pc pushback i so i'm on the other side defending the pc pushback sometimes and i have a theory about it uh yeah viewers have heard me say this before so i'm going to say it and fast forward which they when i lived in new jersey i was surrounded by unions all the time i was really anti-union unions defended people who didn't deserve to be defended and it made me furious

i moved to carolina there are no unions here i see what happens when there are no unions and i definitely at least see the other side of the puzzle may become pro-union to some extent because it's like neither solution is a perfect one cool you are in the center of the pc cancel culture pushback troublesome you need to have your pronouns in your bio etc i live in raleigh i don't know anyone who puts a pronoun in there yeah no there's i don't there's probably trans people here i've literally never seen one or at least that i know of um it just doesn't exist in my uh real life world so it is easy to have tolerance for the like pc pushback thing because it's not here yeah it's something you've heard about on the internet and it's no big deal i have a friend and i have to be careful not to dox him but he

works in an industry where there's a lot of pc pushback and it infuriates him and i'm pretty sure if he lived here he wouldn't have that yeah of frustration yeah yeah i guess the only way it could really affect you guys is if something surfaced that generated a lot of um traction online and they came after your sponsors but i, the types of brands you guys work with, I think that'd be hard to do. But I mean, that's the only real way they can get to you. As far as it annoying me more than it annoys you, the reason it sucks here is because we live in LA and the real thing that pissed me off was the defund the police. That was a big thing that got going in Los Angeles.

That was a big thing that got going in Los Angeles. And I saw so many girls I went to college with sharing LAPD budget figures. This is way too high. 140 million is if they're fucking experts on how much it takes to enforce the law in a major metropolis. It does seem rather high, though, right? I thought you were a virologist. And then, of course, they defunded the police and what happened immediately. The murder rate went through the roof, especially in South central where the poor black people live.

So now they're just all killing each other and the death rates of black people. I don't know what you're getting at, but I mean, it's primarily because there are no cops there. And now it's just a fucking free for all. I think Kyle's saying there's too many firearms in America. Okay, you're anti-gun.

Sure. When I stepped away, I started coughing uncontrollably. And I guess I popped a pustule in my throat. And then I started coughing up a lot of blood to my teeth. To my teeth were all red. And then I had to brush my teeth. And then I could have gone full boogie if you just came back. So I had to brush my teeth. And then I laid on the floor. You could have gone full Boogie if you just came back with bloody teeth.

Yeah, I could have. Yeah. And then maybe this is what Boogie needs to get him fit again. Because he's up to 385 now or something. Is he? Yeah. Him and Wings are the same weight. Is that a success story? No. that's a failure on all parts that's 360 degrees of

failure i'm trying to find the bright spot well boogie was over 500 right so to be 385 is pretty fucking sexy i mean jesus how many years has it been though, right? Like, let's like, let's. How many pounds do you want to lose a year, Kyle? I mean, if you're not losing. I think 15 is good. If you're not losing two pounds a week, then you're not even fucking trying. Oh, because I thought one pound a week was pretty good. That's because. One and a half.

Okay. So I'm talking about average for a 500 pound man right losing losing two pounds a week as a 500 pound man is incredibly easy losing two pounds a week when i was at 184 pounds was so hard like i'm barely eating i'm doing cardio all goddamn day i'm on i'm on so much caffeine i'm like doing like like like fucking kegels sitting here doing the show like i'm walking 15 000 i'm walking 15 000 steps a day i'm taking hot comes like that yeah oh you have no idea oh it's like a vice down there you know i know um and uh and still it's like derrick i'm'm not losing any weight. I lost eight ounces this week.

And he's like, God, you are lean as dick skin. And I was like, yeah, but I really want to get below 108. He's like, oh, you're going to get there. And I'm like, if you say so. It was so hard to lose those last few pounds when you're below 10% body fat. My favorite memory of your process. While we're still on that kyle was talking to us i think it was uh after the show like off camera he's like oh

like with actual like dread and concern if i don't weigh this by monday derrick's gonna up my cardio again lower my calories and it was it was like i somehow when i step on this scale i need to weigh this little yeah yeah like i make sure i take a good full shit before i get on the scale i make sure that i worse i make sure i piss all the like i'm like maybe i just won't drink so much tonight and we'll call that weight loss like like because there's that point where derrick's like ah you only lost a pound and a half this week. What happened? And I'm like, I don't fucking know, man. Maybe I ate a spoonful of rice I wasn't supposed to.

What happened was last week I dehydrated myself to make weight. So this week I was kind of in a deficit. It's like – but it's like exactly what you said. And he would tell me like a week out he's like all right if you don't weigh you know 185 by next tuesday and let me know every day what your weight is then we'll go to like 45 minutes of cardio or 50 or 55 or 60 minutes of cardio you know continuous cardio and it's like excuse me kyle fasted cardio fasted cardio yeah dude there was you were like seeming so genuinely sad like what he said and like as you're sending us the updates of you like dehydrated as shit we're we're like and like woody and i are supportive the whole time like you're looking yoked you're

looking huge you're looking awesome keep it up like and but when those ones started coming in we're like you all right man like, it's looking a little rough. And even you were like, I just, I just need to get through it, man. Just eye on the prize. I just, and then I can eat and then, and then I can eat and I can go back to like, cause you want to sit around like one 90 something is where you're comfortable and where it looks more natural. Or even one 95.

Like there's nothing wrong with that. Like I've got a lot of muscle now. Like all of that is fine. Um, but, but like, um, I think I'm i'm gonna when i get back from my vacation you know 21 more days until i go on my vacation uh we're gonna start a very serious bulk um i'll be off probation and um i'll um i'm gonna go on a very serious bulk with derek help. Probably for as long as he feels like... Are you going to be a clean bulk? Yeah, as far as diet?

Yeah. I'm bulking. Yeah, but you look worse. You should go back to whatever you were doing before. I'm definitely going to gain a good bit of fat. That's just part of it. It just is. I don't care. If you're going to build muscle, you've got to add is i don't care um but it's it if you're

going to build muscle you've got to like add some fat at the same time it's not that you can't build muscle in a deficit it's that you build the most muscle when you're at a surplus and that and that's the goal it's to put on as much muscle uh and as quickly as possible to get as much out of your workouts as possible right can i interrupt yeah So you said to put on the most muscle, are you trying to add muscle or strength? I don't give a fuck about strength. I couldn't. Okay.

Yeah. I wish my strength would go down. The weights are getting dangerous. And when you're at the size you are like, you don't build muscle without building strength. Like that's just not how it works. Like you're, you're stronger than you could need to be.

Every size, that's true. I add a quarter pound a week to everything. I just put another micro plate on. It's not a big deal. I don't care about strength, though. I could not care. People are always like, what's your one rep max on this, that, and the other? And I'm like, who fucking cares?

Look at how jacked I am, dude. You think I give a fuck? i care about real metrics like how far my jizz shoots yeah when you're standing at the foot of the bed and you still manage to hit her on the forehead and her head like she's coming back for more she's coming back for more she's telling people about this and they might come with her next time. It's a marketing plan. The ultimate compliment is, that went over my shoulder. That's going for it.

What was I going to say? You mentioned your weights are getting dangerous. Obviously, my weights are much lower than yours, but some of them are... It's hard. Dumbbells in particular. I do an inclined bench press's hard like dumbbells in particular like um incline i do um like a inclined bench press but with dumbbells and in that motion i'm very strong yeah but in the motion into like getting into position yep like that's there's risk 100 with you uh that

that's what i was going to mention as well um if you're if you're using dumbbells bigger than 65 75 pounds especially like like especially on that last set you know like like when i get them up because i i don't know if i'm doing it the right way but what i do is i there are these little um they're the kind of things that you do like box jumps onto in a gym little platforms plyo box i bring a plyo box with me and i put that in front of me and so i I've got my dumbbells on there. So I'm starting up at sort of knee height and I rock them back. I try to use as much inertia as I can, but there's a point where like, I know I'm best to like do it in one motion than to sort of like try to

stabilize and be all ridiculous. So I just go back and my back cracks when I do it. When I, when I like what, like in a good way. Yeah. Another one popped oh i'm swallowing blood oh it sounds satisfying though no it doesn't you ever had you know pop

rocks yeah yeah but not yeah not made of sugar but yeah um just like rock back and like when i get back i'm you know i'm holding 150 plus pounds or whatever it is. And it's just like click, click, click, clack. But yeah, super strong in that motion. The same with overhead press or when I do incline. You can tell that you're in the right groove when you're doing those exercises. But getting into... I've seen the big guys who have those massive dumbbells. And they have a partner, right?

Who's like at least one, maybe two. And they're like helping them stabilize because they've got 200 massive dumbbells and they have a partner, right. Who's like, like two, at least one, maybe two. And they're like helping them stabilize. Cause they've got 200 pound dumbbells. Yeah. 200 fucking pound dumbbells and shit like that. And it's like, you could rip up, you rip your peck.

That's going to be eight months before you're even like, maybe the same again. And then the rehab to like, get your like muscle symmetry back, your strength levels back. I say strength doesn't matter but you want to be able to do work you know i don't care what the number is but it should be like you're roughly the same on both sides yeah yeah like like like pec tears bicep tears shit

like that you ruin yourself i would rather blow my shoulder out than have a pec tear i don't think i do um overhead press with dumbbells anymore. It was that it seemed dangerous. I was having a hard time. I use the barbell because it's nice. It's from the squat rack. You can start it right here. You can do your thing and then put it back right here. I use a machine for the same reasons.

It's just safety. Yeah. Yeah. I felt like just getting up there with all that weight. And, you know, there's people walking behind me sometimes, and I felt a little weird about that. I never got squirrely. I've never dropped it.

Because I always get back to that finished power clean sort of position. You're right here. And this is a real strong position to hold weight. I don't know how much weight I can hold like this, but it's way more than I can lift. Yeah. Over 200 pounds, something like this, but it's way more than I can lift. Yeah. Way over 200 pounds, something like that.

Whatever. I can hold two or two or two 50, whatever it takes right here standing. But like if I were ever were to get like wobbly, like really trying to crank one out and like, I don't know. I just, I was always kind of weird about that.

But I, I, and, and I was worried about stabilization with my legs. Like, like, like am I really getting the most out of this upper body exercise if my balance with my legs isn't perfect? So I figured, like, why don't I just sit down on this machine that's got, like, plates on it that I can, like, really incrementally change over time.

And it's actually converging. So it's a converging overhead press, which I don't know if that's better, but it feels better. I have less – every now and then I get a little click in my shoulder from doing the overhead press. Like maybe I – I get that. Yeah. I don't get that anymore with converging. Neither of you guys like belts, right? I use belts.

No, no, no. I don't like belts. But I don't do any exercises really that require a belt. I wear it for the overhead press. Interesting. The exercises that I pulled out because I'm not – it's not that I think they're – it's the pit bull argument, right? It's not that the exercise is inherently dangerous. It's inherently dangerous for me to do it because I'm not trained to do these things.

Like, bench press seems pretty easy. Like, I get that there's a lot of form to it if you're trying to be, like, some champion. But if you're just doing the exercise, like, it's pretty straightforward. Yeah. Bent rows, on the other hand, and deadlifts. You can fuck yourself up with those.

You can fuck yourself up with those exercises. I messed up my bent rows one day, and I pulled one of the bigger back muscles. And my back is really nice like i've got a really big back and it was like crippling to like pull this muscle it felt like i had like i don't know it felt like it just like cramped up and like twisted in on itself and it was just like oh oh and i had to leave the gym immediately like in pain and like came home and used the foam roller um like took a hot bath like slept on the floor and it still hurt for like three days i

didn't miss any workouts because of it but i was like you know what never again i'm never doing that exercises again like i i switched it for this exercise i made up i just made up this exercise where I take an inclined bench and I incline it enough that it's like this high when I'm standing and I put my forehead on it. And then I bend – because that's going to stabilize me. And then I get into the bent row position with dumbbells because with the dumbbells, I'm able to really go back far. People put their chest on it and it's the same thing but not so awfully d looking no the ladies love it when i put my forehead on because i throw my fucking

japanese bandana my fucking yeah after every set you stand up and just huge bread marks bent over rows are not even on my scary list i actually take all the time i do them to failure i i um on my squat rack i have have these extra long J-hooks. I don't know what they're called, L-hooks or something. And I just routinely drop, like, I don't know. It's not too heavy, like 170 pounds. It just makes all this shatter. It makes me feel like I'm doing something cool.

I take it to failure, then just fucking throw that thing. The bar is bouncing around. It's all my gear. I can do whatever i want with it oh yeah that is nice having all your own stuff where i'm like you know i'm not wiping down my machines it's all my germs why would i the ac set to 58 i mean i mean like one of the nice things about working out when i work out when there's literally nobody there is like first of all i don't sweat like i don't sweat enough to leave a stain on a fucking machine so i just don't wipe

them down and if that's bad like karma or juju or whatever then so fucking be it because there's no sweat on this thing at this point i'm white like like if you farted in a chair would you like dust it off or something like like i i haven't left any residue here. Like, like there's nothing of me on that fucking thing. And my, I'm in the back of your head. Isn't like sweaty when you're like benching. Like when I stood up from incline, I don't even like,

yeah, I can see where my sweaty head was. No, I don't sweat during like even the heaviest of workouts because I take three minutes between every exercise. So my heart rate kind of stays around 120 for like the full hour, hour and a half, however long I live, but which is high, but it's not quite cardio yet. And, but no, I never break a sweat.

I wear like a, like, like some nice Adidas track pants and like a cutoff shirt or whatever, a tank top or something. And I just, it's chilly in the gym anyway they keep the ac up pretty high so i just don't get i just don't sweat you wear pants while you work out yeah the shorts i've i made that transition a couple months ago i like saw these really comfortable looking like track looking pants on amazon my leg hair my leg hair was getting pinched in the um in one of the machines and i was oh that's annoying i just did like i realized

it was more comfortable it's way more comfortable i wear like either some like hurley um sweatpants or i wear some like um some adidas track pants like a like a fucking squatting sloth i just wear like converse shoes in the gym now i have for a while what do you wear i got some rebox that are real flat um that they're like just like plain black cheap rebox um they they don't have like a raised heel or anything but they're like i don't know they're just flat standard 45 pair of sneakers just match the pants and uh that's the important part that's you know you need to be looking good for the ladies they need to be paying attention to the you know pants and shoes combo not the red mark on your forehead.

There's really no hot chicks that show up when I'm working out because it's dangerous. Not only because it's 3 a.m., but because I'm horny. That's the real risk. Yeah, but every now and then, I've sent you guys videos and stuff from noon. Maybe I hit a noon workout. Oh, man, it's distracting.

I don't like working out with hot chicks because it's like, I'm here to do some work. Not be distracted. I'm sure there are people who are like, let's go to the gym and fucking do a half-ass workout and watch some hot chicks bend over.

Let's get yoked so that we can have some hot chicks come over to our house and bend over, first of all. And if you're single, too. If you're single,. Yeah. First of all, if you're single too, if you're single, there's always that like, Oh, you're a pussy dude. You're missing a golden opportunity.

Go talk to her. Like your mind doesn't let you off the hook for not walking over to a girl who's at the leg spreader machine. First of all, first of all, anyone in the horror machine i laugh at because it's guys and it doesn't do anything the horror machine the horror machine goes out you mean yeah the one that goes like out and you're doing like i think i think in is

sluttier the kegel machine one of the funniest parts of the of the office like dwight goes to a gym to try to hit on michael's girlfriend to see if she'll cheat on him and he's doing the fucking he's doing that like thigh exercise right next to her grunting and groaning oh oh that burn is deep he just made a gym purchase i'm so excited i have waited for like six months for this to come into stock and i'm trying not to buy Rogue Fitness because I hate those lying cocksuckers. What's that? It came to mind because we were talking about it's my equipment.

I'll do whatever I want. I bought a curl bar, an easy curl bar that is wide enough that I can do curls in the squat rack. I no longer have to pick it up off the floor like some sort of peasant. I can stand in the squat rack, do my curls, drop it right down at thigh level and wait for the next set that's pretty handy i like how much was that bar that you got i mean i mean 300 300 okay i just didn't know how much because

i i got like can i just throw this out there why not why not just because why not just have a shorter stand to like sit it on okay so keep in mind the gym can't fit more equipment right that's a big issue because like that's what i have i use the bench but it's tippy and you know how on a squat rack you can put weights on one side then the other you can't do that on the bench you have to very carefully balance it interesting and um and yeah i just don't like picking it up off the ground. I don't know why. Maybe it's the back thing. I don't pick it up off the ground. At my gym, there's one of those machines

that you can do. You can get the preacher curl. The preacher curl thing has those two jutted out. Even if you're not using the pad, you use the height. It's mounted on that. So I just, I dragged that away from the wall and I use,

I stand next to it. I stand behind it and I pick it up, fucking curl. I, you know, I bend my knees. I don't have to go down that far. I get back up with it.

I'm not curling it. Do you ever use like the preacher side? I bought one of those for like 130 bucks and I love it. I always, I've never stood in front of it and grabbed it. I've always just used it like traditionally in the scene whenever i've done it and i'm weird about shit like this like like the way it makes my elbow skin like like like like it your elbow skin goes like flat on the vinyl and then as i'm pulling it up it's sort of like the skin like gets pinched by

the vinyl or i have a towel that i lay over it for that exact reason it's way more comfortable i don't i don't like that sensation and so and there's also like a machine at my gym that is a preacher curl machine that you can get in and it has a really interesting angled grip to it that's very it's like this and and you can like turn it down really low because if i'm gonna i i just don't need it i like my free free weights. You know, like, I really like just doing... A barbell's a free weight, right? Am I wrong? Yeah, it is. But I'm talking about there's a machine there. You don't use that machine because you prefer the

barbell. Yeah, I just, I like doing the, you know, supinated and pronated grip fucking curls and just trying to get as much fucking weight on there as possible. I like the idea of being able to curl a woman. Guys will be like, yeah, I can bench press my girl. It's like, can you curl her though?

Can you curl that bitch? I can deadlift her. I can even deadlift her. Now I'm working towards one arm curling her. I think I could bent over row girl yeah i can curl my girl it helps that she's a 14 year old blaming yeah it's easy as shit yeah i would really like to get to the point where i can do that thing that mac did where he like

pussy grabbed d and like oh fucking like like that's a lot like you really do need like an 85 pound girl and then you're getting pretty close to conceivable if you get her to jump a little if she jumps a little i can absolutely yeah like in that sexual harassment episode you're talking yeah yeah i can definitely pussy grab it like a like a 80 90 pound woman and if she gives me a little a little hop then i can i can fucking get her up to head height for sure i'm i'm fascinated by what motivates you kyle i love it it's it's so non-mainstream the things you're going for curling women yeah they're it's also abstract i'm actually talking about i'm actually talking about flinging them across the ice and trying to get them to a very specific position not not sure yeah yeah olympic curling you need slippery women oh yeah i get it i'll be your broom man yeah i got you man yeah no i like

i was just thinking like like i have bench pressed girls like just for can you lift me and like i picked a girl up and she was like oh wow you can just lift me i'm like yeah bitch you're like 110 pounds like what do you think like you're like i know this two years ago like there's never been a point in my life where i couldn't pick up 110 pound woman like in high school we'd pick each other up and goof around all the time and those guys were as big as me but like like i i've also bench pressed but you've got to like there's no like friendly way to like grab a woman to bench but you've got to there's no friendly way to grab a woman to bench press her. You've got to get some gooch.

You've got to get a good... I grab the pussy and then the throat. I think this isn't that hard to do. Zach, can you show this to everybody? This is the scene where Mack grabs T by the pussy. I hadn't seen this episode. Oh, see.

This is as high as he went. I grabbed him. No, no, no. He's got a supinated grip, though. He's making it hard on himself. You got to pronate that shit. It's got to be a... Yeah, yeah.

Wait, you think if he grabbed her with the back of his hand somehow, that'd be easier? Not the back of his hand. You get down low. The thumb. Under her? A thumb cups under to the gooch. And you got all four fingers right on the mons and you fucking crouch a little and explode such a funny picture the mons i give you mad props for that did you just graduate a

voluntary sex ed class involuntary the mons ven Venus? What is it called? Tubus. Lamon's Pubis. Wow. I haven't heard that since community college. I'm impressed. I know things Kyle just said. I think that's not that. Especially if she jumps a little. Oh, what he's doing

is very difficult because he is single-handedly curling a woman. No, no. Look again. He's got his elbow on his hip. Yeah, that's still a curl. No, a curl would be the elbow on the side. If you put your elbow on your hip and use it like –

I think he basically squatted, held her like that, and then extended his legs. And that's pretty much how he got there. I'm almost positive that there is wire work at play here, just to be clear. Oh, you're probably right. There literally is wire work going on here. There's no way any of this is real. I'm talking about doing things that other people...

I'm talking about doing some magical shit for reals, though. That's my favorite thing to do. It's like, oh, yeah, remember that thing in Lord of the rings that was nonsense you think we could try to fucking do it i don't know man i don't know i don't think you can shoot a bow that fast and then ride a shield down some stairs only one way to find out bro i've got the bow i've got the shield i'm gonna talk to derrick to get me on the shield riding regimen his helm's deep dude are you excited for the amazon show because i'm getting a little excited because I know I'll be stoned as fuck when it comes out. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm tamping down my expectations because I don't want them to ruin it. Is it anytime soon? I don't think it's soon. Like next year. Yeah, like a year away. They released an image. Oh, I didn't even see an image they released. I'll have to see it like the main characters. There is a thing coming out on Amazon

before that that is fantasy that looks super high budget i instantly thought of taylor but he had bigger family things going on do you know what i'm talking about did you see the trailer no no i don't uh let me see do they have like all their characters laid out like who's gonna play who and everything no um i'll tell you what the while woody searches for that um the matrix 4 trailer dropped and it was really fucking good like like the the direction that they've taken it is really fucking cool and i'm excited for the fourth matrix movie and i don't remember which one of the wachowski sisters um is directing and writing this one but because i can't tell them apart, they both have that look about them. Yeah, it was nice when one was trans

and the one wasn't still. Yeah, and they went full pink hair and everything, so it's odd-looking folks, but I'm really looking forward to that movie. I don't know if you guys saw the trailer, but the special effects, of course, are incredible. It looks like they've taken things up another notch. And it seems like what they're doing is that, like,

they plugged Keanu Reeves back into the Matrix and erased his memory. But he's having, like, some deja vu. And they're playing that song, One Pill. One Pill. And he's, like, taking those blue pills, like, every day. And then, like, the Morpheus character shows up and he's like taking those blue pills like every day and uh and then like the morpheus character shows up and is like he's got the red pill and like and then just some fucking dubstep drops and he's fucking flying off rooftops and stopping bullets and he's he does a hadouken he literally does a hadouken so powerful that it explodes the dojo that they're in.

So I'm so down. He meets the Carrie Ann Moss character, Trinity, and shakes her hand. He's like, do I know? There's something familiar about you. It's pretty cool because they both age, but they still look pretty fucking good. But most people are like, Matrix 2 was bad. Matrix 3 was super horrible. Kyle's like, wait till you see Matrix 4.

That's going to turn the ship around. It's not like they're making a sequel to those, though. This is kind of doing its own thing. It's been a generation of time. This looks good. This looks like they're back to basics. I'm just thinking of the remakes he's made. He's just killing it with Bill and Ted's Incredible Adventure.

What was the other remake he made? I forget. He's making some shitty movies lately. Oh, well, I mean, the Bill and Ted thing is pure fan service. I bet its ratings are super high and I bet it made more money. I bet it made its money back because it's like a fan favorite. It's like a cult

classic. They were just kind of making that for that group of fans right and i i would be surprised if kiana was making it because the the other guy like he isn't he hasn't acted and since bill and ted too so it's like kind of oh yeah and that guy aged he wasn't good looking in bill and ted one or two but he just aged into someone far uglier what are the ratings like 6.4 out of 10 i'm sorry 6.0 out of 10 i don't even know how that compares i mean that's pretty strong for what it is right we know it's a garbage movie is that the the audience score uh one moment imdb rating is what i'm looking at i'd be curious about tomatoes as well but uh but no the john wick shit is outstanding

um i'll tell you like the worst movie keanu reeves has ever made though and and it's important when you're classifying like worst movies or best of the worst or something like that it matters if they're trying that's that that that's what matters like like i could go make the worst movie ever i would just forget to take the fucking lens cap off, right? But if you're actually trying and you're a little bit capable and you don't realize that what you're making is an abomination,

that's a best of the worst. I'm talking about movies like The Room. That's the one I was searching for. I was thinking of the name. The Room, the Tommy Wiseau fucking abortion of a movie. I'm going to watch that in Colorado. That's on the list. Or something like Troll 2. That's on the list. Or something like

Troll 2. That's well known. It's another one that's like so awful that it's hilarious to watch. There's a lot of them. Well, in like 1992 or something like that, they made Dracula with Gary Oldman and Anthony

Hopkins and Carrie Ewells and Winona Ryder. It's directed by Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins and Carrie Ewells and Winona Ryder shoot and she and it's directed by Francis Ford Coppola You know the guy that made the fucking Godfather and you're like, holy shit. That's an incredible cast they've got a cool way of thinking about this making Dracula kind of a Sympathetic antihero were like they explain why he's doing what he's doing and Gary Oldman has shaved His head like like like a fucking retard to give him this weird ass hairline. He shaved like four inches off his hairline. And then like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. So who's going to play like the main character? I can't remember his name. It's been a while since I've read the books. But Keanu Reeves. We'll get Keanu Reeves to play the young british handsome man and it's just like wait wait wait no no no don't don't don't and they did it and his acting in that movie changes it from what could have been like an all-time great movie to like oh no he's on screen

again i heard someone say that they saw some my friend came doing keanu reeves cosplay and he was so unconvincing as keanu reeves i thought it was really him yeah that's a sick line like keanu's not a bad actor but like that was a good actor i think he is a good actor he's not he's a different kind of actor he's an actor only play keanu reeves he plays keanu reeves pretty fucking well um i thought he was great in the matrix obviously um and i i thought he was i'm so glad will smith didn't take that role uh and i and i think that he was um really good in the in the john wick shit and even a point break pretty fucking good you know that action movie from way back when with Patrick Swayze? I haven't seen that one. You like it with the surfing and everything?

I've seen it 75 times. That's awesome. Good, good. My friends and I used to quote it like code. It was a part of my childhood. He's good at it, right? He's not bad. He has his moments.

But playing fucking Jonathan Harker. That's the character's name. It just came to me. Playing Jonathan Harker in Dracula. Guys, you should just go on YouTube and watch a few clips of it. It is so bad. He has to do a British accent.

And he's a surfer dude. And Gary Oldman is acting his fucking heart out. He's a tremendous actor. He's one of the top ten best actors in the world. Gary Oldman is. He's fucking incredible. And when you watch his evil fucking portrayal, there's a part where he feeds these vampire whores an infant.

And the laughter and glee in his eyes when he gives them an infant. And Keanu Reeves is just like, no! And Gary Oldman is like, ha ha ha ha ha ha! And it's like, holy shit, it really looks like he's happy that he just fed an infant to Monica Bellucci and those other vampires. So Keanu is like

stealing scenes from Gary Oldman but in the bad way. He ruins them. And the problem is the first quarter of the movie is just them in the castle together. Because that's how the bad way. He ruins them. And the problem is, the first quarter of the movie is just them in the castle together. Because that's how the books go, too. Even more, there's a big part of the book

where it's just Jonathan and Dracula in the castle. And Jonathan slowly starting to be like, this Count Dracula guy is kind of a weirdo. But if there's so much money to be made for my company, I'm gonna I'll be able to marry Miss Lucy when I not Lucy, whatever fucking Winona Ryder's character is. Lucy's her friend, but it's a good movie

that could have been great, but the rest of the actors are so fucking good that they saved it. We should be talking about this Wheel of Time thing. I think it's gonna be... Wheel of Time thing like i think it's gonna be wheel of time yeah it so it's an amazon release i did put a link in there okay and it looks like the budget is huge they released a trailer call it a week ago and i was like fuck like this thing slipped under the radar and it's coming out soon november. Oh, shit. I'm going to watch the trailer without reacting and stuff.

So, yeah, I don't know. We'll see how good it is. First of all, my first impression is it looks like fucking Skyrim the movie. That's a great game. What have you tried? You on Netflix. Is you a show? No, I don't know what you is.

No, have you tried you on Netflixflix it must be a show it's a horror show called you i guess no i haven't heard of it oh if it's a horror show oh i just realized you're speaking taylor's love like horror shows good ratings wait rotten tomato is it all right i don't know about the wheel of time man i don't know no you're not digging it i i don't know i just saw the monster and it was that that was kind of weak cgi i don't know i'm gonna watch it i'll give it a chance taylor what do you they say there may be nudity and sex in the lord of the rings tv series thoughts uh i don't really care whether there's nudity or sex or there's not nudity or sex i just want them to not fuck up the world.

Like, I don't want a bunch of needless stuff in there. Like, like they're, they're getting away from the actual story of the like prequels and everything. Cause that's what they're doing. They're doing like thousands of years.

They're going more like peeling stories from the seal Marillion and stuff. I'm sure. And maybe building around it. I know that, uh, Jera, Tolkien's son did some like additional writing into the world, but I don't think any of that's like canon.

So I just I'm I have tamped down hopes. We'll see. I absolutely want nudity and sex. And I can't believe you didn't say you wanted to. And it's not just the nudity and sex, although it is the nudity and sex. It's what it tells us about it. It's like if I said, Kyle, I'm building this great war movie, but there's going to be no curse words in the entire thing. They're going to say golly gee

and shucks the whole way through. You'd be like, ah, it sucks. It's not that you're not cursing. It's that that is an indicator that you're being a pussy about this show. The same thing. If you're telling me that there's like Game of Thrones level sex on this thing, that tells me that you're like

taking some risks and you're not afraid. And that might imply the kind of gore I can expect to find in this show. If you're showing dong, you're showing beheadings. I felt the same about Game of Thrones. It was like, look at porn if you want to see sex.

If they could have taken out some of the sex in Game of Thrones and made the action sequences and the fighting longer and better, that's a trade-off. That's a good point. The fighting was too short. It was too short. No, it wasn't.

It should have been longer. Honestly, a lot of the sword fights are really poorly choreographed in Game of Thrones. Some are. Like the – and I kind of – The mountains one isn't great. Actually, I was going to go with the pants. Oh, no, that one's good. I think he's going seen the mountains one isn't great. I was going to go. No, that was good.

I think he's going to take. Oh, God. We pretend like that didn't happen. I thought about Ned Stark, Ned Stark versus Jamie Lannister right before that Lannister guard stabs Ned Stark in the back of the leg or whatever. That's a really poorly choreographed scene. And I say so because I just watched a master swordsman like grade movies based on their choreography and uh and i was the whole time i'm like do the princess bride do the princess bride do the princess bride and he's like and now the princess bride i'm like yeah

because that one's so fucking i don't remember anything about the princess bride and the sword you probably do the the main character goes against the spanish guy and then i'm not left-handed and he switches hands he goes on top of the cliff and it's it's a dance i don't remember it being like i it probably is super i haven't seen that movie since i was it's not like it's not an incredible fence fencing play and um according to this guy it doesn't really correspond to a lot of the the stuff that they're saying they're like oh you you you might i see you're using manini's maneuver and like well i've never heard of manini's maneuver but that's probably not it either like it's pretty good but it's not like stellar um but but there's a lot of like sword fighting in movies that just apparently doesn't

make a lot of sense and uh i don't know i like when they get things right like i don't really recognize bad-ish sword fighting um but i definitely recommend recognize terrible sword fighting where it's just silly um or failure to engage right if i 3v1 you and two of us are just waiting for our chance yeah that right away that's what not specifically that but but there's a couple of movies that were covered like maybe 27 ronin or something and um this guy was kind of an expert at facing multiple opponents and he talked about how you do that and how it involves a lot of spinning and shoving opponents um either into one another or away from one another to create that space that you need because obviously like they did kill bill and he's like and she's dead like he's like you know there's that scene where she's like surrounded by the fucking

screaming 88 or whatever they are like 88 guys was actually that later they're like were there really 88 of them nah they just call themselves that why i think they said i think it sounds cool but they were like they were like better than like the 71 but yeah like the crazy 45 doesn't quite roll off the tongue but you know she's surrounded and like it's like like 1.5 seconds into the fight he goes and she'd be dead because one of those dozen people behind her would have stabbed slash decapitated man it's a good thing they brought in an expert to make clear that up well but then he like does another fight where it's like one versus two or three um and like immediately the guy like shoves the one guy draws his sword in one motion kills the guy over here then faces the guy he shoves and now it's a

1v1 because he's already killed like two of them like like really quickly and without a lot of flourishing or nonsense like um that that really succinct sort of Japanese sword play. That's cool to watch. Um, and I really, he did the gladiator when it's, uh, Joaquin Phoenix facing,

um, um, the, the, um, Kurt, uh, Russell Crowe.

And, uh, and then a couple others. It was interesting. I like that stuff. I like seeing experts break down movies. Um, I like the climbing one.

I can't get his name right. Alex, Alex and old. Yeah. He does want to climb here. You know what? On a, when you said the guy walks into a one V three and then he quickly calls it

down. That's why I like watching landmark and Smitty stone and the great escape from Tarkov Twitch streamers. Cause it's like, they walk into a one V four and now less than a minute later now it's a 1v2. Well, if you guys couldn't beat a 1v4 you're kind of fucked now.

And then it becomes a 1v1 and we all know how this goes. You couldn't beat him 4v1 and now you're the last guy standing and I'm pretty sure your leg's blacked out. There's been so many times where I'm in that same scenario like Larry's dead, Middydy's dead whoever else is dead i'm just like guys uh i'm just gonna leave like like i can hear him in there healing he's gonna cancel that animation the moment i try to

run in there uh i'm gonna leave larry i got your shit. It's in a bush. Everybody else, you're fucked. But I'm on my way to dome. I'm on my way to dome. It's over. It's over. There's no way I'm running down to the hole. Almost every day. If people don't know, Escape from Tarkov wipes every couple of months. And I think the current wipe might be three and a half months in. At this point, if Larry's playing like he always does, he's

so rich he could equip me like a non-noob like a not a new character i could yeah we could roll through a bunch of tasks i could get to level 10 in a night there's a few guys in the discord um if you actually wanted to do that i'm sure they've offered to like equip me and stuff i mean even class is like a multi-millionaire you know, he's got. Yeah, wouldn't be class. He's a classist. What about that guy who won that poker hand? He might be able to help you out. Let's see.

Yeah. I don't know if you guys are talking about like video game money or real money. I'm so out of video game money. I'm sorry, Danny. We should loop you back in. In his game, Tarkov, players tend to get wealthier throughout the wipe. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if you guys had just rich fans who. In his case, Tarkov, players tend to get wealthier throughout the wipe. Okay, okay. Yeah, I don't know if you guys had just rich fans who would buy you a Mac. Hard-working fans.

If I asked you to carry me right after you were wiped out, that's a big ask. But at this point, you're asking Jeff Bezos for a half million dollars, which is a lot to me, but to him, he pisses me off. Yeah, you wouldn't notice it yeah yeah not a big deal so this is the game of the moment right now what's it called escape from tarkov it's uh it might be the greatest first person shooter ever made it's uh it's very very complex very complicated uh very difficult to play incredibly high skill ceiling and a lot of very unique game mechanics uh in that

like i won't dwell on this too much but like in call of duty right you're like oh i want an m16 i have one unlocked so i'll pick an m16 if you die nobody's gonna pick up your m16 and take it home with them it's just like it's a bullshit fucking digital piece of nonsense on the ground and escape from tarkov everything you have is real as far as the game is concerned you keep every bit of loot and money you've acquired in a stash it when if you die in the game and i take your gun off your body it's my gun now i'm taking it back to my stash putting on the fucking wall and i i can i can sell it on there's like a flea market in game that all the other players have access to i can set set a price and just like eBay and eBay your gun off and they'll pay me in rubles.

And I can take those rubles and I can buy parts for another gun and build that gun just like you could in the real world. The problem is if you're bad, you eventually run out of money. And like if you're good, you're just fucking climbing that. You're like, oh shit, I've got 10 million rubles now. I can have anything I want. And the guy who's got 50,000 rubles, he's like, shit, I got a pistol. I got a backpack that holds like three cans of beans. Speaking of beans, I really need some beans because of this thing.

You have to eat. You have to eat. Or like, if you're going, you got to eat and drink to eat or like if you're going you got to eat and drink and like like if you don't heal let's say let's say you get fucked up in a raid you go into the game you get all fucked up you die when you come out you have to heal your body like in the real world you have to go and like like use medical supplies to heal yourself up before you can go back into the game. These are separate instances of the game, like completely separated. It could be by minutes or it could be by days.

You can win the game and come back just injured a little bit, but in your next raid, you're still hurt. Yeah. We could go on and on. When you get hurt, there are like five different ways to get hurt. You could break a bone. You could black out a limb. You have a light bleed, a heavy bleed. Like you could break a bone. You could black out a limb. One requires a light bleed,

a heavy bleed. The other requires a surgery kit. A light bleed requires some gauze, a heavy bleeds. There's a couple of ways to fix it, but there's like different medicines for your heavy bleeds. If you can get hurt, like actual pain that like blurs your vision and messes with what your

character can see in here, there might be tinnitus. There are some strong epipen-type medicines that you can apply, but you'll have these after effects, just like a hangover, and your character will be like his vision will do that tunnel thing,

and you've got a pounding headache, and you're just like, fuck. And when you're hurt, not only like, I don't care, man. Be hurt, bitch. I don't feel it but your character is like oh oh and the other guy is like like here's you around the corner like he's like all right he's coming what era is it in modern uh modern two years from now in a fake russian city yeah it sounds super interesting

it sounds like a gigantic commitment though to get good at it you work too much for this game this is a game for people that don't work no no you can't this game does not it's not fun it doesn't sound like i know i know a lot about the game i'm not good at it but i'm okay at it if i practice enough i can get to like a four out of ten level like almost average or something like that like okay it would take me a solid month to get to end game and i'm in grinding every fucking day you don't think so uh you think it would take longer yeah how much longer you don't know anymore to end game is kappa is that what you're saying oh fuck k fuck Kappa. I'm talking about getting the flea market and being able to afford

MetaGear. That's Endgame to me. It takes months and months and months. Are you familiar with what it takes to get Kappa now? What level is it? It's 71. But Landmark has been playing 12 to

15 hours a day for the last three and a half, four months. And he's like, he's like a level 64, eight. Yeah. And,

and keep in mind, every level is exponentially harder. Level 71 is as much XP as zero through 70. It's crazy. I think I said that wrong. 70 is as much as it's out fucking outrageous. Like, like that's why he's done. Got it. It's been, he sounds Kappa. It's crazy i think i said that wrong 70 is as much as yeah it's out fucking outrageous like that's why he's not got it spinny soon's kappa it's crazy so like so like i would much he grinds um labs i'm sure so yeah i would much rather play rust because that's like one week of pure

determination and like grinding all week and like when the week's over you got dark circles under your eyes and you feel like shit but tarkov if you, if you're going to be like a Tarkov streamer, people will be like, Kyle, stream Tarkov. And I'm like, you claim to be a fan of Tarkov, but you're clearly not. That or you're a troll. You realize I can't just stream Tarkov. You want me to go in with a fucking Glock

and lose it four times in a row until we're broke? Because I can make that happen. Yeah. And it's hard to play while streaming. So if i wanted to make money off playing video games me somebody who hasn't played anything since majora's mask came out on the n64 what would be my play what would i do straight to tarkov um you're talking about like twitch streaming yeah like i have. You don't need a game. You just go on there and do just talking and answer questions. I've played a bunch of games,

but I think my most successful streams have been when I just play poker and I just stream my poker game. Poker is so slow. You're almost always folding your hand. It's very rare that you're even playing a hand. Then I can just sit there and shoot the shit forever um uh i think that's the way to go and i've played like i've played games like nazi zombies and vermintide that are like really like continuously blowing shit up and shooting shit people like poker just as much or more when i

play zombies or vermintide generally i don't interact with the chat oh i do it's hard thing yeah no i'm saying it wrong i interact with the chat but i don't do it as well and i miss too much whereas if i do just chatting that is their favorite thing for me to do i always get more views for sure but i feel like i can run out of material if i were to do just chatting all the time then before long it it's the same stories the same financial advice the same it's the same whereas if you play a game there's like something else generating content yeah for sure yeah yeah i enjoy poker but i'm not going to play in this high stakes poker game that these these boys have going how high are the stakes like what's how big is a big pile almost 1300 now Almost $1,300 now, Woody. One guy has lost $1,100

and one guy has lost $3,700 so far. $3,700? Is he the guy that can easily... No, no, no, $370. Sorry. But even the $1,300... There are people who can lose $1,300 who don't even worry about that tomorrow.

He doesn't worry about that. He's not going to notice that money. He does not give a fuck. Isn't that crazy? I don't know. We asked a guy how much money do you have? Or what do you do?

And he's like, the question you mean to be asking is what does my dad do? And it's like, alright. That answers it, kind of. You've got generational wealth. For those who might be interested, they're playing they're for those who like might be interested they're playing two dollar five dollar thousand dollar buy-in uh this is this is going to

be so dangerous how mainstream gambling is getting now gambling is being integrated into every sports broadcast i just watched for instance what the jake paul fight i didn't even finish watching it but gambling was such a huge part of that production they were cutting away to the dave portnoy gambling desk before every fight just encouraging fucking 18 year olds to blow their paycheck on a frivolous boxing match online i have a buddy here in la who lost 20 grand that he could not absolutely afford to lose an online blackjack nfl fantasy i hear ads for that every time i watch any sort of nfl content it's gonna be interesting i seriously considered betting 10 grand on the jake paul fight i so if you guys don't know how gambling works everybody knows but it is rare that i am both fully confident that this guy is going to win and he's an underdog.

That never happens. Whenever I know someone's going to win, you bet $3 to get one back like that. But this time I knew Tyrone Woodley was going to kick his ass. This guy's a world champion. Finally, he's a real boxer. Sure, Jake Paul beat up the NBA player. world champion finally he's a real boxer sure jake paul beat up the nba player sure jake paul beat up uh ben askren who's famously known to be a poor striker but now he's against tyrone woodley tyrone woodley's an actual world champion like i just knew he would win yeah and um i and he was

the underdog like you'd be a fool not to bet on that or so i thought in the end i didn't bet and i'm just like i never want to bet i'm always so happy when i don't bet dude my my two mma bets are so disastrous the two ever first one was forrest griffin versus fucking anderson silva i bet on forrest griffin you guys might remember that one uh he weighed 205 what was your thinking i dude i don't know i think i was like oh he's funny he's got a good personality fuck anderson it might have been like after anderson had decisions exactly good timing but uh yeah exactly he like decisions two guys and was like, he's fucking done, dude. He's washed. And of course, that's one of the most highlight highlight reel knockouts of Anderson's career

where he goes into the Matrix, dodges a bunch of forest punches, and then comes back with a jab that flatlines for us. And then I bet that Matt Hughes was going was gonna beat bj penn in november 2010 and of course bj like from the opening bell just in the time it takes to take six steps and then throw three punches knocks matt completely unconscious and that was the end of my gambling career in mma used to be so good he was insane he's uh my buddy uriah i know Uriah Faber from Sacramento, and Uriah was really good friends with BJ. He'd go out to Hilo all the time, and I guess Hilo just had a prodigious Coke,

or BJ had a prodigious Coke problem. Still does. How did he have a Coke problem and a weight problem? Come on, BJ. Yeah, he did. Hawaiian, yeah, a lot of pork, a lot of sweet meats. A lot of homo homo hoi hoi. Yeah, he... Hawaiian. A lot of pork. Sweet meats. A lot of homo homo hoi hoi.

Yeah, no joke. Hawaiian men tend to put on body fat. That's where you make a turducken with pineapples and pigs. And you just keep repeating it with larger pigs and pineapples. That sounds pretty good. I just made that up. Pineapples are big. I don't know how that scales. Yeah, I was like... Well, you start with a pig fetus.

A child pig. You get that pig fetus inside of a mini pineapple, and then you go from there until you've got an enormous pig. And I guess you would need some bigger pineapples, but we'll work on that. Turduckens are like, I've never had one, but it's like, it's a little weird. It's a little like spitting in God's

face. You're starting to get me on board now, but I don't like duck. What? What do you not like about duck? It doesn't taste very good. Well, that's wrong. Deep fried turkey is just so fucking good that that's all I want to eat if I'm

eating some sort of cooked bird that isn't like chicken. Deep fried turkey is fucking incredible i probably i might do one for the boys i'm gonna cook a lot for the uh when we're on vacation so like i don't know if somebody wants to spring for a fucking deep fryer and five gallons of peanut oil i'll fry us a whole fucking turkey what's that cost a deep fryer the whole shebang you end up like under 150 like for everything i want to say it's not too bad i want to say the deep fryer is like 75 for like the pot and the uh the burner and then you've got to get a thing of propane which is like maybe 25 and then you've got to get the peanut oil which is like another like 35 to 45 50 something like that if i remember

correctly again it's been i didn't do thanksgiving last year because of my diet and then so it was the one before that last time i did this shit but um i own one um it's it's outside it's been out there for two years full of peanut oil so probably not still good to eat yeah i would think that yeah you're going on vacation where are you going on vacation going to colorado as soon as i get off probation in 21 days how long uh minimum of two weeks but i'm i may extend it um i may like uh like i'm going so like my friend group is kind of like broke up into guys that i've known for like five years or more and a group of guys that i've known for like one or two years and they don't always mesh super well together yeah so like one week is like

long time guys and the other week is like um sort of newer guys and there is some crossover between the two so like i i i rented a big house i mean we all did they right shipped in um got an airbnb and so we're gonna do two weeks like that at this place in colorado just smoking it up all day every day and uh and then like i don't know if i'm going to extend i have a one-way flight so i haven't quite decided yet but um i might fly a girl out there with me and like stay for another week or another two weeks like like i don't know. I haven't really settled. A couple of the guys have mentioned that,

hey, I might stay an extra week too. So if I get in a scenario where Scum, for example, somebody I actually like is like, yeah, you want to stay for another week? Then all of a sudden $180 a night Airbnb is rather affordable to just go another week. So I could see myself doing that. I don't know. At least two weeks, maybe a month.

I've already started packing my belongings. I'm doing it a little bit every day. I'm not going to need my KitchenAid mixer, so it's packed. I'm not going to need my winter clothes, so they're packed. So I'm already packing my bags and my belongings because I'm not going to need my winter clothes, so they're packed. So I'm already packing my bags and my belongings because I'm moving. Sometime in November, I'm going to get out of Georgia and go to a legal state because I love marijuana. Yeah, you certainly do. I'm excited for you. It's going to bring you so much joy.

Look at him. He loves it. He's like catnip to him. That's a reference from the Chappelle show when they're talking about black people liking chicken and they're watching the black people. Look at him. He loves it. Yeah.

But yeah, 22 days and one hour. So we're just about to like roll over another day here in a few minutes. It's I've had this this timer on my phone for I don't know, almost a year. So I've just watched it take down day after day. It's, I don't know.

Three weeks to go. When that thing goes off, it's going to be, and that alarm is set so that it's John Denver, Rocky Mountain High, Colorado. Rocky Mountain High. That song plays when the timer rolls the fuck over. I don't know. I'm pretty excited.

I've been planning this trip for four years. That's long. I was planning my Vegas vacation that I had this last summer for like three, four months. And I had a timer and everything, too. I was fucking pumped. And then I just immediately got COVID. And it was such an anti-climax. Like the weekend wasn't even that great.

But I can relate to what you're talking about, like the two friend groups so well, because all of my friends from college or some of my friends are from elementary school. They're like good looking, well-educated guys that I can bring around classy people and count on them not to make fools of themselves. And even some of my girlfriend's friends might like to hook up or potentially date those guys.

But then I have my YouTube filming squad. It's got guys like Mudflap and King Croc and Swolby One Kenobi. We had one party, one big party for my girlfriend's birthday last year in September. We had a big Airbnb in San Diego, like $1,500 a night. Airbnb had all my filming crew over and all of my girlfriend's hot friends. And then after that party, I'm not going to tell you how it went, but I'll tell you that we had another one in March and none of my girlfriend's

friends attended. They just wanted nothing to do with these creeps. They must've been. Hey Danny, is mud flap going to be there? Okay, good to know, because I won't be anywhere fucking near. The Airbnb, Mudflap is going to be there. I'm sorry, lady, but no matter where you are, Mudflap is going to be near.

He can't help. He's like an orbiting moon. You know he's shit in the freezer, right? Is that a real bit? It's a very mudflat kind of thing to do. Do I want to go with the YouTube crew? There are both sides of my personality in there. If you're with your school crew or your YouTube crew.

The split, the way Kyle's doing it, that's the way to do it. It sounds like the mode Kyle's in right now, he would want to go with my real friends because they would be much better wingmen in the event that some pussy getting opportunity arose. Your school crew's not your real friends. What's that? Your school crew's not your real friends. My shooting crew or my school crew?

Wait, I don't know. Which one's your real friends? Well, my friends from before I mean, they're both my real friends, but some are just, I mean, much less socially adept characters is what I would say. What were you talking about when you said real friends just now? Probably the old, the guys I've known since elementary school. I'm not necessarily looking to get laid or anything. I really just want to smoke some fucking weed and watch good movies and uh and just have a good time a lot of these guys i've never met before i've just kind of like talked to them

online for years and years now and so this is the first time i've met a few of them but a few of them i have met and they all seem like not non-autistic guys oh and let me say this to those of you in the 50 discord who keep messaging fish and being like hey do you think i can come on the trip i'm a cool guy, you know? And then you sort of like lay out your sob story about how some awful things have happened to you in your life and how much I've meant to you over the years. Look, I feel all of that.

I'm sorry that you've had a rough time. That stuff sucks. You've all had rough times. We all have, right? Everybody here has had a rough time from time to time. It happens. Shit happens. Life is a bitch.

I really do appreciate everyone who's watched me over the years and still watches me and all that stuff. I enjoy entertaining. And without you, I'm just sitting in a room just being weird. But I've been planning on this trip for four fucking years. I'm going to be in a compromised position, literally high. I'm not going to feel comfortable with absolute strangers. I know that you think of me as someone you know really well,

but I think of you as MC Hammer 3636. I don't know what you even look like, bro. You could be a weirdo. You could stick your dick in my ear while I'm passed out. You could do weird stuff to my food.

I'll do some sort of a trip in the future where any of the $50 Discord guys that want to can come on. I think that's a good way to whittle people down to the least weird. Maybe we'll do a paintball trip. We'll do a booze cruise. We'll do a paintball trip. We'll rent a big fucking mansion and get some whores. We'll go to Vegas and

pool our money and put it all on black. What if we did that? What if we all raised between 100 of us? We raised $10,000 and put it on black. We guaranteed we're going to take the money, put it in crypto, and it had to sit there for 10 years. What doable things. That like it's just a funny bit to do and like what if in 10 years like ten thousand dollars that we that we uh what would it become like eighteen thousand dollars

that eighteen thousand dollars has grown to like 180 000 and like like those of the invested are like yeah i i'm actually i do have that money to loan you like ben because i did this thing 10 years ago like i don't know like we'll do something silly that's what i'm saying like like but this is maybe not an investment maybe an investment maybe an investment you you give me money and you go find three people to give you money and you give me i do want to talk to you about my multi-level marketing goji goji berry um situation i'm gonna need all of you to like come in with me on that one um but but yeah like this is like that um that thing howard stern used to play of like ge of George Harrison or whoever the fuck when he was finally saying, look, I'm not going to sign any more Beatles memorabilia.

With peace and love. Peace and love. I'm telling you, no more signatures. No more. You mail me something, I'm throwing it away. With peace and love. If I wanted you on my trip, I would have invited you. And that's not me trying to be nasty.

You didn't invite me to like your family reunion because we don't know each other. Right. This is like a personal private trip that I'm taking with a, with a very small group of friends that I've known for years. So like inviting yourself on that trip is forgive me, but autistic as fuck. And it, and it leads me to believe that at no point in

the future are we ever gonna like be able to match to the point where like i'm like i i wouldn't invite i know harley pretty well if harley was going on a trip there's no way i would invite myself on harley's trip if harley wants me on his fucking trip he'll be like yo kyle you want to come you want to come get scared he'd say it and and like he knows i'd probably come it's 50 50 maybe maybe not depends how i'm feeling and i've known that man for years he stayed at my home like like i've i've worked with him many times i don't know you dragon slayer 69 i i can't but you could know me. Yeah, we're talking about cohabitating for a week. I mean, I already know the rule about no dick

in your ear. At least when nobody's around. I hope that you're not so goddamn autistic. And I'm not talking to one person. There's like 10 of them. Just know this. It's nothing personal.

It's just that I don't know you well enough to invite you on this trip i've been planning for four fucking years that means ever so much to me like i don't need you like getting me swatted or like i don't know for all i know you're a violent drunk and you're gonna get weird and like pick a fight with somebody or like for all i know you're gonna like start crying and get fucking weird or you're gonna take too many're going to start crying and get fucking weird. You're going to take too many of your pills one night and fucking break a lamp or something. I don't know you.

You know what I mean? What a rat's ass. What a rat bitch. We're not in a mansion or anything, but I'm out. I'm like $8,000 in or something like that for this Airbnb. It's like, I can't have you like fucking shit up for me

we're essentially strangers these weirdos you're describing they might get along well with Danny and his friends yeah they can yo you wanna go hang out with Mudflap and the boys are you prone to breaking lamps and putting dicks

in ears because this sounds like mullin content only when i take enough pills but yeah absolutely yeah let me we and there are guys in our discord who are like always just fucked up on like breaking lamps like clearly they're they have destruct self-dest... What's the guy's name who parachutes drugs? Snorlax. Yes. Oh, no. You guys have a guy named Snorlax who parachutes drugs?

That is the guy I would hang out with. I want Snorlax to come to my Patreon and start making a relationship. He's a little subdued. You should... He's fucking Snorlax. You might call him sedated, even. He's just zannied out yeah he's and it's just like he seems like he seems like a nice guy but it's like frustrating to deal with him because he's like doesn't hear you got to repeat yourself so many times and then he's then there'll be like

this pause and he still didn't get it and it's just like you know what never mind you're not working my time here like i'm doing a thing. What does life feel like about him? If he was my kid, I'd be like, my kid. It's a fucking winner. First of all, he's in the $50 PKA Discord. Oh, my God. You know he got to talk to Woody the other day? My kid is the best.

I wasn't going to rip him. I would be concerned that he's always in his altered state. I've never seen him not. I haven't either. I'm sure it happens occasionally. I mean, he's got to sleep sometimes. I'm sure. But it's probably some assisted sleep.

But yeah, I just want to address that blanket-wise because a lot of you will message guys that you know are coming on the trip and again, it's nothing but sobs.bs and oftentimes it comes with an offer to like buy me some weed or like apply like ply your trade in whatever whatever it is you do whatever you're an expert in it's like yeah yeah i'll i'm i'm a fucking race car race bike rider i'll i'll kyle could ride my bike for an afternoon. There's some cool skills.

And it's just like, dude, I'm going to be high. I have no interest in learning to ride your track bike. Oh, but you don't even know, bro. I'm a movie aficionado. I'll be quoting every movie we watch. It's like, I would hate that. First of all, that sounds awful. If someone out there is like, hey, like, I work for the Lord of the Rings

Amazon show and I have the entire thing on a flash drive if you want to come. Or they'll offer dollars of weed. Weed is so cheap in Colorado. Ounces are like $180 or something like that off the top of my head.

You could probably get some cheaper shit And obviously there's more expensive shit, but it's like, I'll smoke you out. And which for Woody's benefit means like, they'll get the, look here, hit this. You're high.

Now I smoked you out. That's smoking someone out. It's like, it's like, let's offer you 50 cents worth. Hey bro, you want to sip? Literally.

It's less impressive than saying, can I buy you one beer you know you know what i've done a couple of times people like hey matthew why don't you come to me i'll buy you a beer and it's like you did like four things wrong in that invitation there's no way well that's not my fucking name i you should know i despise alcohol more than anything beer and traveling to you to do something i hate just doesn't seem like a good idea especially since you don't know my name to get interviewed effectively yeah the real first name thing they probably don't mean it like this but i see no they don't super creepy i see it as like oh i have inside

information on you i have maybe i've stalked your facebook or just watch enough of your content that i'm calling you matthew when nobody does my wife calls me woody right yeah but they they know just enough to know that but not enough to know that nobody fucking calls you that and we've had this little talk we're having right now a dozen fucking times over the last decade and and i just see it as a creepy sort of like i've never called this man matthew it would be weird no it would be weird what if we did that in like pre-shows we're like all right man um it would be like it would be like if woody called me fps to my face like yo fps like like like like harley does that for like shits and giggles like like he'll call me fucking fps in real life and it's it's cute it's funny i get it

i get the joke especially when there's another kyle like right next to me it's weird when there's like there's there's a lot of kyle's yeah it would be so weird if what he called monster just drains yeah no that's what you're gonna do go get high and drink a bunch of monster zero ultras but but yeah like like without getting like into too much detail like i mean you look you see like the craziness that goes on in wings life i don't need that kind of nonsense and one of you could be a little uh you know you could you could you could put on your twitter like oh i'm hanging with fps raja and like there's a fucking street sign in the background and now we're getting like swatted or like people are showing up it's all it takes and you know like somebody wants to come fucking fight me bro because oh you think you're so tough

you can fight diego like somebody who doesn't understand sarcasm i'm a fucking black belt let's throw down fucking rexquando eight years rexquando can we switch over to wings or did you want to talk more on this we covered him up pretty good so wings apparently is getting all this negative attention we covered that pretty well i have this hope that it's like an upswing of wings attention and possibility again we talked about it on the show with harley how if he just played the heel and leaned into this he could be huge he could be wildly successful i feel like there's a tiktok thing happening right now and if he plays this right shoot for the moon bro like like i think

if you're being accused of pedophilia even in jest you just totally distance from that like lean into it lean into it give all those tiktokers more attention you need your wife to be playing the sound of a screaming child every just be like help help deal with that honey

don't make me come in there and shut it up you gotta act like I'm in the kids and then his wife comes on and scream with the double ponytails looking like she's six years old with a giant polypop i mean i would get a child i was an actual human child like like like to just like i kind of like run in and look look look afraid and disheveled and then run back out and then just be like we got a code seven. And this was just like, you know, they get back to playing some game from, Oh no, wait, this is the new girl.

It's a code five. I mean, I mean like literally framing the man for like pedophilia. It's just, it's just so it's fucked. It's so low brow and easy to do. Fucking greasy. Fucking greasy. Perfect opportunity, but it's an opportunity and i just hope he leans into it somehow plays the heel like you know doesn't give a fuck no i saw his i saw his stream he's just like you guys just always ruining my life you do this and you do that you already got my twitch partnership taken

away so i'm at,000 for that. And they're like, you're a liar. This didn't happen. He's like, the cops just left. He's like, no, they didn't. And he's like, honey, come in here and tell them the cops just left. And it's just like, dude, you're being trolled so goddamn hard immediately. You'd think he would adapt in his approach over the many, many, many years of this.

No, we talked about why he can't adapt. He successfully trolled. It baffles me because this man is a social media professional with 12, 14 years experience, something like that. How is he still? Well, then again, I pronounced. When people feign ignorance. His reporter name.

I didn't get it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bernie. Gores was his last name. you guys can combine that in your on your own and uh what was it it was bernie gores faster bernie gores there you go all right uh yeah yeah i said now songify that i wanted to save it for the very end i would feel daddy i don't know if you're familiar with what happened but like they had this fake cnn account that looks very official

it's like cnn mogadishu or something and he just got all the like branding and like one letter off of being like official and uh they're like you know they got picture of wings and they're saying that he's a correspondent named bernie gores who's been like killed by the taliban you know and the withdrawal from afghanistan and they're like like in memoriam and stuff or like maybe he's missing and they do this every time there's a natural or world disaster like like whenever a building blows up or something explodes they're like rip bernie gores like he they you know and they show that picture of wings well this time it got picked up because the afghanistan thing is so like such a hot button

issue yeah that people are like look at this a cnn correspondent's been murdered god damn libs get fucking take that one on the chin and and and it's just like it's now they had to like put it on all those sites that like correct things like that like snopes and all the all the correction correctors of the internet nonsense to like affirm that no this is a youtuber he's not there is no one named burke and i haven't seen anyone be like and just so you know that name is meant to be a punt that they still don't get that like none of these people like it's snopes or whatever get that like they don't get it wait wait it's like it's really late for me i don't get it either what's in the chat i wrote it do you see what i wrote oh such an under private oh no and then how do you pronounce how do you pronounce it correctly? Bernie Sanders, last name Gores, kind of like Al Gore.

So, yeah. I mean, they're getting more and more creative and more covert racist tricks. So you got to respect that. It's a problem. It's pretty funny. I'm so careful about what I read aloud because I'm such a dope. Remember when that news report came out about the plane that went down and the pilot was like we too low and then like and like the rest of the flight team is like ouch bang damn or

holy fuck like we gonna crash like we gonna crash like it was like a korean flight team that all passed away and she's reading it so like soberly and she's she's like yeah when you read we too low or whatever we too low has got to be the best so so legitimate news outlets were reading the name Bernie Gores. All over Twitter. I don't know if it got picked up by mainstream media and read out, but it got trending on Twitter, I think. It got enough of a push on Twitter. It's the hashtags that a lot of people...

Look, I like the idea of trolling big organizations and tricking them into our nonsense that we do here. It's kind of a funny little, like, hey, look at that. We got them to buy into the silliness. So that one I don't mind, honestly. That one seems like nobody's getting hurt. If I'm wings with that one, I lean into that one for sure. I go on my own Twitter and do a memoriam to myself like like the whole whole night you got get his wife to be like crying and have a tearful video

about bernie and how like he trusted the biden administration and they left him hanging and like like oh that's that's dark let me like be like we raised two hundred thousand dollars they went hanging i know my god i didn't even process that. I don't know what your crowd did on purpose. They don't have ropes like that there. It's kind of a backward society. They use stones. They use vines.

I don't know. I saw Biden today on YouTube live doing his COVID thing. Really good stuff. I thought thing. Really good stuff. I thought it was really good stuff. He's opening the whole federal faucet to fight COVID. I can't remember the specifics, but

he's going to have... He's going to have the three biggest retailers like Amazon, maybe Walmart, and one of the big pharmacies. I can't remember specifically, but Amazon was definitely one of them they're going to like use the whatever like the defense there's some kind of thing the federal government can do

like declare a product like for national security or something like that and they're doing that for COVID testing and it's going to be sold at cost so they're trying to get as many like COVID tests out there for as cheap as possible, backed by the federal government. And then lots of stuff that they were working on to like, he had a really good moment where he was like,

parents, I'm going to speak to you personally now. And he kind of goes off the teleprompter and he's like, if you love your children, get them vaccinated, get them vaccinated. Go get that shot. You get them,

you get them shots for everything else why not this we're all sorts of vaccines get this vaccine and he starts laying out some some statistics about 12 to 17 year olds making up this large percentage of serious hospitalization type cases and it's like yeah man get the fucking vaccine i don't know i'm glad i have the fucking vaccine someone that's in my life right now just got fucking covid and it's like like i'm not gonna say i'm i i i care about you so i'm just not gonna shit on you but like people in my life died from covid it's rough, right? It's kind of weird. I don't know.

Now that you say that, I don't want to talk about the Herman Cain Award because that's pretty fucked up. Were the people who passed away deniers or were they just victims of deniers? In my life? Yeah. Not deniers. Would they get a Herman Cain Award? Well, the Herman Cain Award winners typically broadcast and stand on a soapbox. Lots of stuff on Facebook. That wouldn't describe them. They were just Republicans.

Yeah. For anyone who doesn't know, the Herman Cain Award is a subreddit. It's a little dark, but I enjoy it. And basically they take the Facebook history of people who have died of COVID. And it's like post after post of like, you know, like comparing wearing a mask to being loaded onto a train to Auschwitz. Or, you know, the thing where you've got the two rats and like lab rats. And they're like, hey, have you had the thing where the thing where you've got the two rat the thing we got the two rats and like lab rats and they're like hey have you had the vaccine yet and the the other lab rat says no i'm waiting till they finish the human testing and you know like all these cutesy things like

that yeah and then at the end and they're like they're like nobody will ever muzzle me and it's always a fat white guy with a fucking goatee and uh and at the end to hide the double chin they're at risk yeah and and at the very end every like there's usually a post or two where they're like i'm so sick right now with the covid like 104 degree fever every breath is agony i need prayer warriors and and then the one and then the one right after that is like in memoriam for big daddy he died last night we're trying to raise some money for his funeral we got we got two warriors and and then the one and then the one right after that is like in memoriam for big daddy he died last night we're trying to raise some money for his funeral we got we got two grand raised and i'm thinking like average funeral's got to be 7500 if we're just putting them in a

decent box like like they don't they don't have it's cheaper i think sure then you end up with that like chinese takeout box pretty much yeah i uh I wanted to save it for the end because it's not like a joke thing, but I had a bunch of people message me about my wife's thing going on. So I wanted to give people a little update for Danny's benefit. She had a they thought it was a tumor in her spinal cord, which is a very obviously serious thing. her spinal cord, which is a very obviously serious thing. So we went to the Mayo Clinic up in Minnesota all of last week. And we were there getting tests done, more scans and everything. Really, really good doctors there. I'm going to cover it more deeply on the PKN. So earlier this week on PKN, if you are on the Patreon, you already got that. But basically we went there, like immediately they do scans and everything. It takes, takes you know not nearly as long there as it was the traditional hospital and they found out or this really good doctor world class

was like this is not a tumor it's what's called a cavernous malformation which is where blood vessels in your spinal cord like in the cord itself i'll get bundled up and fucked up and it causes bleeding and that can cause tremendous amounts of damage so like on one hand it was like i don't remember how i described it on on pkn but it was like like the tumor would have been horrible horrible news but like a cavernous malformation is not like a oh hooray like it's still an incredibly serious thing and uh her pain was going down for a while last week because i was like insisting like she couldn't be on her like lifting anything doing anything uh I went to my brother's wedding this past weekend we like drove all the way from

I thought we thought we were gonna miss his wedding and thankfully we were able to make it but we drove all the way back from Minnesota to St. Louis slept and then drove straight to Kansas City for his wedding and so my wife was on her feet a good bit those two days and just being on her feet those two days we got her back here and she had like another big flare up of pain the past couple of days, I guess, since PKM. Doing a little better this evening. But initially it was going to be surgery or you take a little break and you see if the bleeding naturally, the swelling goes down and gets more manageable for surgery because you obviously don't want to go in there when it's at its worst and what they said was okay in about

8 to 12 weeks get another MRI in St. Louis and then send it to us at Mayo and we'll analyze it see what's up and what we recommend but because of her pain flare-ups again we're moving that to maybe like a month from now instead because it is like time is of the essence and the thing with these bleeds is they can happen at any time for any reason like you don't know um and if a bleed gets severe it can cause things like numbness permanently or you know in a severe paralysis like very very serious things um and so yeah we're waiting about four weeks or so do Do that again. If we hear from the doctor like, hey, it hasn't progressed.

It's actually like getting a little smaller. That might, depending on his recommendation, that could either be an indication of, you know, give it another month and see. Or it might be, you know, it's gone down enough that it's more easily operable and it's near the surface of the spinal cord. And so we could like cut it open, go in there and like drain out the amount of blood we could. But there's all just, even if it shrinks up like teeny tiny, just it having been there and bled means there's like a 50% chance in the future it's going to bleed again. And you don't know, it could be days, weeks, months, years. You like, you don't know when it would bleed again and you don't know it could be days weeks months years you like you don't know when it would bleed again apparently if you get the surgery it can cut down on that risk a good bit the future bleeds but still nothing's for certain so that's uh that was the real fast version update of it i got so an unbelievable amount of messages from people being really kind and supportive which

is which is a nice change and and uh yeah and so thank you guys all i i saw people like i had people reaching out to me like hey we're gonna start a go fund me and i'm like please do not do that like don't don't start a go fund me they just keep sending it to me yeah yeah i wasn't gonna tell tell you. Forget it. I named the organization The Taylor Fund. That has nothing to do with you. It's just called The Taylor Fund.

It's about getting me a nice line of suits. It's called My Taylor. You fools! It's dumb on the surface, but what makes bleeding so bad? Do you know? Does bleeding mean pressure? It would seem like bleeding is a way to shrink this thing.

So the bleeding, because it's in the spinal column, there's nowhere for it to go. So blood there just accumulates. And by pressure, it can like impact nerves, which causes weakness or like numbness, like neuropathy feelings, which is painful. Or just like straight up like sharp stabbing pain. And it's like a cacophony of pains because it's your nerves. And so it could go from like a dull, thud, ache to like sharp to numbness to tingling to like just a whole range of it. And it, it, it is my understanding caused by the pressure buildup there and how and what it's doing at the time.

Like it's so complicated. We still don't know everything about the spinal cord. It's, it's, you know, really difficult. Another surface level dumb question, but like what hurts?

Is it her back that hurts where the spinal cord is? Or does it shoot down her legs because nerves do yeah it's uh it's in her back like in a band around here is where it'll get very intense like a belt and then uh in addition to that she'll get like leg pain like shooting down her both of her legs and then like numbness, tingling in the legs, like feeling a little shaky, which is like fucking really scary to be. You know, I see my wife being like, my legs are really shaky right now. And it's like, well, do we need to get in the car and drive to Mayo right now? I keep telling her that I'm like, just 1 a.m. drop of a hat. Wake me up. You got to go to mayo like get in the car i'll drive the seven hours like last night it was scary she just like sat

up in the middle like taylor like like like yelping in pain and like we just had to like sit up and like breathe for a couple minutes uh and i'm like do we need to go somewhere do we need to do anything and she's like no no no no i it's starting to subside a little bit but it woke me up it was so intense and it was does she have any painkillers uh they painkillers don't work as well on these nerve pains like you need to really dope yourself up with a lot of it um and i accept your turn we haven't uh she's speaking my language she doesn't want to use them really ideal perfect but yeah we're really asking about for the colorado trip a few vials of morphine and you know like i can handle the injection myself like all pain pills would these go good with a chardonnay either good or bad you know either

way with it but yeah um a lot of those opiate pills don't oh that's what i should have asked for i'm so dumb i should have asked for fucking codeine syrup my favorite drug i could have been high all week damn it go back go to a different doctor that's literally drug seeking um um yeah maybe that's not a good call yeah but but no codeine fucking syrup is like my favorite fucking drug that shit is so fucking good so fucking good you could have had it you could be high right now i i wish you'd given me some tylenol three i should have asked for painkillers i should have been like you know the pain is just unbearable i can't get this it is really bad like that dude it would make you fail a drug test yeah but you just you're like yeah because i got these um you know you get your name on a prescription you can have whatever the fuck

you want except for marijuana which is you know there's medical marijuana here that's a weird one but uh but no like like once i was getting tested and this chick had popped for opiates and she's like but i got a prescription and like do you have it with you no well we have a problem then don't we and oh shit you're in trouble um get me a lanky jerry gave it to me he has a prescription if she really has one it might be a solvable problem yeah yeah probably so but but yeah if i get prescribed you know an opiate then i just don't know I'm on an opiate. It is the same thing. I could do Adderall if I wanted to. I have a script for that. But I don't because I don't want to go through the whole thing of always testing positive for amphetamines.

Oh. Well, thank you for the update, Taylor. Thank you for taking my questions. Yeah, man. Wish you the best. Danny, thank you so much for coming on. Always a good guest. Always a questions. Yeah, man. Wish you the best. Danny, thank you so much for coming on. Always a good guest. Always a star.

Hey, man. If I hadn't been so sick this week, I would have arranged for Fenster to come on with you because I think that would have been really funny to pair you two together. Fenster is a cross-dressing Twitch streamer who makes a really passable pretty girl. But not voice.

He doesn't pretend to be a girl. But when he opens his mouth, it's like, oh, okay. He's a straight guy who looks like a hot chick. Really hot. And his voice is normal. It would have been fun to have you guys on together.

We'll do it another time. Maybe I'll put him in a vlog. I'll let him peg me. Is this the guy it's not gay he's got a real cock but I think he wants to put it in girls

I think he has a girlfriend you've seen to mine unfortunately but yeah guys I'm fucking psyched to be on here I think it's almost my two year anniversary since I first came on that was like November 2019, October 2019. I know, man. It's been great

times. Glad no audio malfunctions this time. It was fucking fun, man. Anytime. I went downstairs. My wife's like, how's it going? I'm like, really, really good. So check out Danny's channel below. Go give him a

watch. Yeah. If you like PJ, you'll probably like his stuff. It's always some fucked up shit. It is, yeah. I'm lining fatties up and executing them in the street. There's got to be some kind of a pun where you turn Schindler's List into something about fat people. I work on it.

I work on it. That'll be our homework. I can already see it, though, though dude now I'm going to force it if I try it I'm trying to work Jindler into something caloric I don't have it PKA 560