Painkiller Already - PKA 561 Josh Fluke - Toxic Family, Spork Talk, Woody Plays Poker

Episode Date: September 18, 2021

pka 561 with our guest joshua fluke taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by lucy and smart mouth a couple of wonderful sponsors you already know about them links below joshua thank you so much for coming on i was not familiar with you until about two and a half hours ago when chiz was like you got to watch this guy's stuff and i was like i looked you up and it was like computer scientists and i'm like he's way too smart for me. I'm not going to get any of this. And then he's like, no,

look up the family stuff then. And, and all those stories. Cause apparently that really helped you blow up, um, in a sad way. But, uh,

so for people who don't know the, the very quick background is you, you had your family fucking with you, lying to you, gaslighting you for like it seemed like six years can you give us a little recap on that as you're financially supporting them keeping them from being homeless and they just seem to treat you like absolute garbage um yes sure so when i first moved um after college i got my first job i I found out that they were losing their house in the form of I got an email that said my credit card was maxed out.

Oh, no. That's not how you usually find out. No. Yeah. And I was really, you know, how did you get my credit card? But when I first got here, I was unaware that they were losing their house. And it was the first time I had seen them in a few years. So we were just hanging out, and I needed some credit cards to live to my first paycheck.

So I mailed those to them while I was moving and they brought them, but they wrote the credit card numbers down and they were buying everything for me, like taking me out to dinner and stuff while we were here hanging out with my credit cards. So I found out months later in the middle of a work day that my credit card was maxed out and I called and I was like what is this and I saw um the bill it was um Kyle will know because he's in Atlanta but it's Marietta Power Company yes they were in Georgia so I was like what I don't I don't even live there and so it was just kind of like a downhill spiral I guess but instead of I mean I was mad but instead of, I mean, I was mad,

but instead of being mad, I was more concerned that my family was in the process of becoming homeless. So I gave them my entire savings, gave them my apartment and then went and got another apartment and they moved here. And then after that, there was a lot of lies involved, got involved with drugs. And then I was totally unaware. I guess I'm just super naive. I mean, Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, I wanted to ask this, because I also did a little bit of research. And it seemed like, how old were you when this specific incident occurred when your credit card was maxed out? And you were like, Oh, wait, my family's losing their home. How old were you

then? About 25. maxed out and you were like oh wait my family's losing their home how old were you then about 25 so prior to you being 25 had there been like little red flags along the way like when you were a child when you're an adolescent when you're a teenager no not so much i think growing up it was fairly normal i i knew that they did some dumb spending things like they would buy things that i'm like how can you afford that but there wasn't any but there was never any like that's just stealing from your kids there's never it's worse than stealing like it's it's identity theft right like yeah ruins your credit all that stuff it ruins your credit like money can be replaced really easily credit is so hard to rebuild you know

it's you can't just go to chase and be like, no, no, you don't understand. You see, my mom stole my identity. I pay my bills. It's her. They're like, well, how do we know that she's not going to steal your identity? Can't like, they don't believe you. They're not going to believe that shit. So I think the decision is whether or not you want your parents to take the fall for it. Right.

Like in my mind. So I watched this too the choice was i can either hey accept a screwed up credit record and um pay off these bills or two my parents go to jail because my credit gets stolen all the time not so much in the last year but it used to happen like literally twice a month and they'd be like hey we've got these weird charges at like cumberland farms they're not even around here jewelry stores whatever and i'd just be like nope that's a you problem that's fraud that has nothing to do with me and they understand like all right we get it and it was easy as that they just accepted my word they were usually new cards that were open and charges

so you could have done that but they absolutely would have gone straight to your parents to yeah i mean what do you do when you're in that situation you want you want to help them out But they absolutely would have gone straight to your parents to go criminal. I mean, what do you do when you're in that situation? You want to help them out, right? Because now I'm in a situation where I can, whereas they raised me. I went off to college, got a job. And so it feels like even though I'm upset, my credit is totally destroyed. I want to help you not be under a bridge.

You mentioned the power company charge and like i'm in my own head i'm processing like well how bad was the stealing as if stealing is not all equal yeah but like the electric bill is like one kind of stealing if they also put like home electronics and stuff on it that's a different kind of spending on and if it's a situation where they're like 50 dvd players and situation where they're like 50 DVD players and you know they're going and reselling them so that they can make cash out of your credit. I don't know what's the worst to me.

Because to my mind, frivolous spending is one of the meanest things they could have done. Well, what I just suggested is outright theft, right? Where they're taking pennies on the dollar on your credit to put cash in your pocket, you know? So I think we're going to get to the root of this later, but, and maybe I'm jumping the gun a little bit, but there's going to be this thing we're coming to.

And it's like, what point, at what point do you say family or not? You know, I don't want to jump the gun yet, but like, that's what's in my head right now. It's like family or not. So what was on the cards? It was mostly just utility bills. Okay.

I had no idea that it was even being used. Like I never got any like fraud. This card is being used across the United States from you. I never got any alerts or anything like that because I guess they had started using it before I even got it. So that was like the first time it was used. And so that location didn't trigger any red flags for them. Right. Yeah, they don't know normal spending patterns because the new cards.

This was about the same time you had given them a car, right? Or was that a bit afterward? I brought them here and they had a car, but they pawned it. They pawned both of their cars actually um and so then they were just walking to work or riding a bike to work and i was like this is not right like you guys shouldn't be pawning your vehicles but also like you can't walk in minus 20 degree weather two miles like that i mean you, but I'm not going to let you do that. So I got them a car. Yeah, and then they got that. One of my sister's friends stole it and got into a hit and run,

and the police raided my house. It was just a giant mess. Man, you've had so much drama in your life. Are you on medication now to be this chill? No, not really. It's just, I don't know. I can be really upset. Some days I think about it, but most of the time, I don't know. It was really hard

the first year, but now... Family must be really important to you. I would have liked to think it was at the time. I mean, that's what... I know your actions speak to that. Yeah, your actions are louder than words, because I'm going to tell you right now, I love my family. I really do. Your actions speak to that. Yeah. Yeah. Your actions are louder than words. Cause I'm gonna tell you right now. Um, I love my family.

I really do. Like I've had differences with my mom and stuff, but like, I love her a lot. If she needed help, I'd help her. I'd, I'd be there in a heartbeat. But if she stole from me, like that's a one strike, you're out kind of thing. Like if she stole from me, like if she asks for oh you can have all i have all i have and more i'll borrow money and get it to you like whatever it takes but if you steal from me and you're that close to me i can't forgive that because that's so nefarious i don't i've never experienced anything

like that i've had family members borrow money and then be a little weird about paying it back and that's one of those things where it's like, come on, like, you're going to make me come to you to ask you for my money back. Like, that's a little shitty. Like, like I, I won't mention which family member, but it's like a extended family member. And like, I've loaned them money. It took a little while to get it back. I got it back, but it was like, you made me come to you for the money. And that's a little shitty. I don't, you should like, like if I, if it's, if the shoe's on the other foot, if someone borrows money from me or excuse me, if I, if I borrow money from someone, you're not going to have to come for that money as soon as I have it. And I'm going to be giving you updates.

Hey man, I'll have that money in two weeks, I think, or actually I won't have it all, but I'm going to have like two thirds of it. I'm going to get that to you right now. I'm gonna get that to you right now. What's the best way for me to get that money? Would you like cash? Would you like a check? Would you like PayPal? Like I'm trying to make it right you right now. What's the best way for me to get that money? Would you like cash? Would you like a check? Would you like PayPal?

Like I'm trying to make it right because I know what it's like. This is blowing my mind that this happened to me. It was like, I was watching the video. I was like, like I clicked the first one you made and I was like, I mean, everybody has family problems.

It can't be that bad. And I'm like, like bench pressing, listening to it, like using my anger at your family, like those bastards. I can't believe like giving them a car. that bad and i'm like like bench pressing listening to it like using my anger at your family like those bastards i can't believe like giving them a car them committing crimes in the car you getting your house raided what was the house raid like was it over pretty quick when they realized you

know the situation or was it like you know it's obviously cops in there it's they're not their job to understand it's their job to respond was yeah so the car was in my name because i didn't want them to pawn it of course which is kind of a crappy thing to have to even consider that they would do with something that you're gifting them which is strange but it was in a hit and run in the tag and the insurance came back to me and so they came to my house and they were like you know come out And so they came to my house and they were like, you know, come out, hands up, all that stuff. But after they were like, this is, I don't even have this car. Like, I'm still here.

Haven't gone anywhere. You know, like, then they were like, oh, okay, well, you know, you'll be contacted by the lady's insurance. And this is her info and all that stuff. And so now even today, my car insurance is all super high for something. I didn't see it. It's fucking ridiculous. So that's how that works? If they get into an accident while you buy the insurance, it's your problem? Yep.

If no one will claim it, then it just goes to the person's name that's on it. Something that was curious to me listening to it is the period of time that your dad seemed to not have a job. Did he have a job all throughout your your growing up years and then once he realized he could kind of use you as a bank account he stepped back and decided to bum or was that it seemed almost like sudden or did you kind of see signs of that as a kid he had a he had the same job i mean like pretty much the same job my whole life. And then his company wanted him to start charging like a thousand percent markup on a parts. And he's like, I'm not going to do that. We've been selling it for this price for so long. And this feels like theft. And you want me to sit here and fill out my time cards and stuff while I'm still in their parking lot and charge them hourly for that, even though the job is done. He's like, I'm not going to do that. That's like stealing from the customer. So I'm going to quit, make my own company. But what happened was that he signed a non-compete when he was 27 years old that said he cannot work in any industry related for two years. So what do you do? That's what he's been doing for 30 years. I mean, so he broke the non-compete, made his own company.

They eventually found out because he took some customers, and then they sued him, and he lost. And that, I think, I don't know. When they took his house, one day they just showed up to take his boat. Like, I was just chilling upstairs playing games, and some people showed up to take the boat. And I was like, hey, there's some people stealing your boat outside right now. He's like, just straight face, just looking at the TV.

I'm like, bro, there's people hooking up to your boat in the driveway and they just took off. And from then I was like, hmm, something's not right. Because I was working with him while he had his own company, but I left right around the time things started to fall apart. I really had no idea because I was there when he got a DMC or DMC later, a cease and desist pretty much. And, um, he's like, nah, I'm not even worried about it.

This is, you know, the only thing I've done my whole life. There's no way they can tell me I can't do this because it's the only thing I know how to do to make money. Um, and he seemed pretty confident, but he lost because he got sued in two different states uh georgia and the headquarters where they're at and so he couldn't pay the lawyer he couldn't pay his mortgage so they just took everything from him and then from then on i think it was just kind of like a mental i don't know like a mental shift happened he wasn't the same man that i knew growing up um but he had jobs when he got here. Well, not at first, but I gave

them my apartment and three months rent up front. So you don't have to ask me for money because I hate that. Like you're my parents. I don't mind, but here's three months anyways. Here's everything you need. Go look for jobs. And they said that they would get jobs and they said that they had jobs, but then things started to not add up there. I would go visit them, just check in on them, go look for jobs and they said that they would get jobs and they said that they had jobs but then things started to not add up there i would you know go visit them just check in on them see how they're doing and one of them would be at home like my mom would be at home and i'm like you're supposed to be at work she's like oh it's my day off so then i'd come maybe a day or two later she'd be home again i'm like it's my day off i'd be like no so eventually i found out that she had gotten fired from a job and she just couldn't admit it.

So is, uh, you are such a nice guy. My wife is watching you. By the way, Josh, I need to borrow like $15,000. I know,

I know. I know we haven't known each other long, but it's only 15, right? A topic like that coming up. I'm watching your videos and my wife would just mill it around the house, you know, folding laundry, making dinner. And she's like, is that your guest tonight? And I'm like, yeah. And she goes, he needs a hug. So dude, I want to give you a hug. I really do. I want to, I want to tell you this right now. What's happened to you is bullshit. And you seem like a really chill, sweet guy. And you don't deserve all that has happened to you.

And if there is some sort of afterlife, that's not really my bag. But I hope if you believe in one, then you're going to be treated well. Because you're a fucking saint. You're one of the kindest individuals I've ever even fucking heard of. This stuff is outrageous. Anyone else would have, like, pulled pulled the rip cord on step one. So much of the, the story where you learn paragliding was like somehow that sunk in extra deep

for me. We can talk about that later, by the way. But, but so you're, you're on the mountain, you're doing your thing and your dad's there and he's supposed to be driving, I think for Uber or something to make extra cash.

But instead he spends the day with you. And you're like, oh, this is kind of neat. You know, like dad's watching me do a thing, like sort of fulfill one of my own life goals. And here he is checking me out, et cetera. And then as the day sort of wraps up, I imagine you there kind of exhausted, having walked up the hill a dozen times with the freaking heavy ass wing hard to carry slung over your shoulder. And your father starts bumming money off of you and it comes to a realization that he's not there to see you like i don't know complete a life goal and learn to fly yeah he's there for cash it was a trick yeah ouch i don't want to get too personal with woody and taylor but like i wanted

to ask you two have you ever had an instance anywhere like this where you had a close family member like nuclear family who needed some money and didn't treat you well when you gave it to them? I've never had a family member ask to borrow. I've had one family member ever asked to borrow money and he told me what he was going to spend it on. And I was like, no, you know, I appreciate you reaching out. We're still going to be tight, but I'm not going to fund that. And it was only like a grand. And he was like, totally get it. Just wanted to check. And it hasn't impacted our relationship.

I've had family members borrow like, again, not nuclear family, actually, not mother, father, brother, sister, but, you know, a little outside that. I won't go too specific, but, you know, need to borrow less than five grand, but more than a grand. And it's like, absolutely. Here's your money. Here's your money. How would you like it?

You know, you want to, like I said earlier, like when I'm wanting, when I'm paying someone back, it's the same thing. It's like, do you want cash? Do you, you know, I gave him cash and i got it back and i was like there was never any inkling in my mind that i wouldn't get it back you know what i mean like the idea of this whole thing is just really foreign to me i i and maybe it's i was about to say maybe it's a southern thing like like but your parents were in atlanta right yeah from georg. I'm from Georgia. Well,

mine at least made sense to say no because it was a cousin of mine being like, Hey, can you give me a grand? So I can buy a bunch of weed in Colorado, drive it to Missouri and sell it and I'll give you some of the profits. And I'm like, I'm not even cool that you just texted me your plan, dude. That makes me so uncomfortable. No, thank you. Let me insert this because it's fresh, hot off the presses in my own life story.

This guy wrote me last night while I was sleeping. And I'll paraphrase here and there, but he wrote, sadly, I'm stuck in North Carolina. My wife isn't doing well. She's losing weight. She's at 97 pounds now.

I am a full-time caregiver for her and it has me in a bind. Is there any chance you could spot me $200 until the first? I can return it as soon as our check hits. I don't ask this lightly. Full-time caregiving is killing me. We do Cash App, Venmo, and Zelle. Please let me know if you can help. And then he gives his name. And this is an acquaintance of mine from six years ago. How I knew him is he flew from the same field I did. I do paramotoring. And we would sometimes go to like lunch or dinner as a group, like everyone who flew that day. And that's my

relationship with him. I haven't seen him for five years. And he reached out and asked for two hundred dollars and it puts me in this like on one hand i have two hundred dollars like i could but i don't mean to flex too hard but gosh i i never thought i'd see him again i might never like am i supposed to give two hundred dollars to everyone who puts their palm up i know he's in a hard spot i guess i that's a dangerous precedent you know now he knows who to talk to next time and maybe next time isn't his dyer he just needs a little extra coin and the time after that it's gotten so regular and usual that it's like oh this is the guy i go to for money you know the full-time caregiver thing it rubs me wrong and maybe maybe I'm a jerk, right? Like I'm open to this idea that, you know, am I an asshole?

But it's like, hey, I've decided to completely stop working and just take care of my wife, which on one hand, like feels and sounds kind of noble. On the other hand, dude, I take care of a lot of people. You know, like this happens all the time when my mother-in-law was in our guest house dying she had cancer you know i didn't just like stop all work and handle that it's like no we we funded this whole fucking up freaking operation and and uh like that's how this works that's what happens You don't just take off when someone needs help. Cash is part of the solution to this. Yeah. So would you have given the $200?

I think Taylor's a no. I don't think I would have felt comfortable with it. I heard what you said, but what's your acquaintance with this gentleman? I flew in the same place with him six years ago. No, no, no. And him asking you is rather inappropriate um honestly like if if like if i were dying i would ask you for money if i were dying and we needed to like get me some medical care i'd ask for money otherwise it's not happening you know what i mean

yeah like like there's no way i would reach out to someone like that like like dude get back to fucking work and make yourself $200. My father had a friend, um, a guy who had a very well paying job, like, all right, like, like, let me just say how much he made. He made about $12,000 a month. Okay. Like, like just so you have the idea. It's not, so he's not incredibly wealthy man, but like in our little small town, like it's a, he's got a good, really well, he's got a good gig. Um, and it's a, it's not one of those deals where it's like, Oh yeah, like you made $12,000 one month and the rest of the time it's like 3 he's got a good, really well, he's got a good gig. And it's a, it's not one of those deals where it's like, Oh yeah, like you made $12,000 one month and the rest of the time it's like 3000.

It's like, no, he's, he's on salary for $12,000 a month, but he's got a gambling problem. He's got a, he does, he bets football. He bets football over his head and maybe once every three months he needs to come to my dad and borrow somewhere in the nature of $10,000 to $25,000. My dad always gave him that $10,000 to $25,000 because this man always came back with the full amount in a very timely fashion. There was never any like question. Not that bad of a gambler. I mean, he would stop gambling for a month and he would earn his like like like money back up and and he would be good you know it's it's i don't know i this whole idea of people ripping you off

like like i can't i've never had that and and i it's it's fucking rough joshua would you have given the money to an acquaintance you haven't seen in five years the first thing that crosses my mind because i've gotten some emails like that from viewers and it just makes me think how many other people did they send this personalized message to? You won't know. You won't know who gives the money and who doesn't. Josh has learned. Yeah.

I actually asked a friend of mine that I respect a lot. I mentioned him now and then he's super wealthy. And he said that same thing. He's like i bet this sounds like a form email that he sent he blasted out to a lot of people yeah yeah definitely he there's a million percent right there's zero percent chance that guy was like i got to sit down and compose this just to woody like it was probably everybody else he saw six years ago and every fly-in since then and who knows, maybe he makes a cool, you know, 800 bucks out of people feeling bad for him.

Just very it's a it's an uncomfortable to be that jaded, though, right? Yeah. Like I hate that you need to be that jaded, you know, like because I like helping people. I do it whenever I can. And I've been taken advantage of like small time taken advantage of, you know,. I've paid people's power bills. Shit, I paid for Chuck's funeral. I try to help out as much as I can with my small town hillbilly friends and distant relatives and shit. Sometimes I've known.

I'm like, I know you're lying to me, but I know you need this. Let's just get you fucking straightened out. You know, it's, it's shitty. And, uh, but, but I feel like I'm, I don't know. I want to be, I want to do the right thing as much as I can. So the most recent video I got to see Josh, you told your father at the beginning of the month that you couldn't pay his rent. And then at the end of the month, you also said, Hey, don't forget, I'm not paying your rent. He was like, why are you springing this on me? Why didn't I get more warning? You told his parents that the thought process being, this is your grandparents,

the thought process being, Hey, heads up. I expect them to come to you next. And they gave you the whole, I don't know, some like bible verses and and they went hard yeah they were absurd yeah what did they say like i hope you can live the rest of your life with no family you need to honor your father and mom and it's like and you said the perfect line in the video you know i'll botch it but you basically were like so everything was fine our relationship was hunky-dory and dandy until I said one thing about not wanting to pay anymore. And it's not like your parents are handicapped or crippled or they're injured to the point they can't work. It was just like, yeah, it really did reveal they saw you as like, oh, that's just like a cure all.

That's just our cure all to every problem. What do you do? Oh, just ask Josh. He makes YouTube money. That's just our cure-all to every problem. What do you need? Oh, just ask Josh. He makes YouTube money.

And meanwhile, you're trying to build a career online, and it's not good to have a bunch of emotional hot tie-ups and hang-ups. People may think, like, oh, making YouTube videos, oh, that's like the dream. It's like, well, it's also self-driven. And if you're not in the mood to be doing something like that, you're not going to reach the level of success you otherwise would. And obviously, having your parents and grandparents, I think you may have even agreed what your grandparents said was even more fucking absurd and i also hate that bible verse shit when it's convenient for them and like the whole time like

i had to go to like the the kind of cult uh fucking pull out that bible verse about paying your debts yeah yeah as like you i was seeing those texts i was like uh i really hope the next time he sends like a bunch of Bible verses at them, like fuck you versus. And it's like, and you, even in your video being more like you handled it more maturely than I would have. I would have sent a bunch of Bible verses. Like you're going, it is wrong. The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously fucking send that one right back at him.

So did you, you said that you never had a strange relationship with those grandparents and it wasn't until they were trying to like act as like a defensive hedge around your dad that they reacted that way to you but were there any signs that they were never that close or did you think you had a good relationship like we would we would get along i don't i'm not super i'm not a super religious person but they tried to make me and my sister always go to church and like force me to like bible camp and stuff for two weeks that was a whole thing which it sucked and i don't know it was just kind of like agree to disagree hi how you doing i'll give you a hug if i see you and that

was it like there was nothing really bitter or anything and so when i said hey i'm not going to pay the rent just giving you a heads up that they're going to come to you i'm not saying you have to nobody's got to do it i'm just saying this is what they normally do i don't do it and it was like you've burnt your last bridge with me son um hope you can live the rest of your life without talking to your family. I didn't know what to say. I was pretty at a loss for words, so I literally just sent a thumbs up emoji, and he put classic response, Josh. That was the perfect response.

Perfect response. How old are you, Josh? I'm 31. First of all, you look 25, so kudos to you. Proud of you for sending the thumbs up emoji. So proud of you for sending the thumbs up emoji and cutting this out of your life. Thumbs down emoji would have worked too.

That would have worked too. Or been like, yeah, the money's on the way and then block communications. I don't know. He said it was coming. I don't know where. Oh, geez. You don't send it to you. Just don't screw them. Yeah, that's so fucked up. I can't I can't imagine my grandparents being like that. It doesn't even cross my mind.

They would never be that cruel. And this is something that, you know, it's not just religious people. I'm not going to. None of us are. No, it's not religious. Yeah, it's like it's like a level of vindictiveness of oh you're going to question like the life i've set up you're you're going to take the pillar that you're holding my life up with and remove that well fuck you you're going to hell you're going to hell and you're gonna you know you don't get to

you know be in the what was it you showed like two books where you're like they told me to read this and that if i read them i'd go to heaven that. That's not how it works, even by their own rules. But in that, that your grandpa would be smiling down upon you as you read them. And that is such horseshit, such manipulative horseshit. Yeah, that's, my grandma was very like, because my grandpa had just passed away. That was pretty fresh.

Like, I don't know, maybe like under a year or something. And she would send me all these religious books and be like, yeah, thanks, grandma. And sometimes she'd send me the same book twice. Maybe she forgot that she sent me the first one, but in the book she would leave her own little handwritten notes. Like, you know, just read these and pray and do all that stuff. And if you do that, then your grandfather will be smiling on you from heaven. But if you don't, you won't get to see him again. It's like, grandma, I'm 30, 29. You're like, this doesn't work.

Yeah, I'm not feeling scared anymore. You're not in the, because I had to go to those Christian camps too when I was younger, and it would be like, hey, everybody ready for 40 minutes of volleyball? All right, now six hours of hellfire and brimstone, and you're bad, and was that your experience at those where they would like hedge these huge sermons of guilt trips between like oh dodgeball and ping pong uh that's what it was my my church camp was two weeks of just uh you had to speak in tongues all day every

day that was the entire point for two weeks and they'd wake you up really early and you go to sleep really late and if you couldn't do it they'd put you in a corner and you go to sleep really late. And if you couldn't do it, they'd put you in a corner. And it was in like a, like a basketball area, like a gym. And they put you on your knees on the wooden floor and you'd have to face the corner if you couldn't speak in tongues. And I, I've never been able to do it. And we all had to hold hands, right? And they'd come and they'd do like the thing where they push you over and you're supposed to fall over and flail with the Holy Spirit and stuff.

It didn't, it didn't work for me. None of that worked. It doesn't work for anyone. What is speaking in tongues exactly? It's when you pretend you know a foreign language. It's when the Lord is speaking through you. When the Holy Ghost is speaking through you, actually. That part of the Holy Trinity. At my church, it was done. I would see it occasionally like like like there would be an older guy or usually in his 50s or 60s and he would shut a run doc shut a run doc and i'm just like looking back at him at like nine years old like bullshit bullshit he keeps using the same words i feel like josh was just unwilling to lie

yeah that's like he was he didn't pretend to speak in tongues he didn't pretend to get knocked over by mystical waves he you were the most honest person there i i don't why if you're going to go to church and be in front of the lord and all that stuff why would you ever want to pretend and fit in if it's not about them it's's just about you and God, right? So if I'm not feeling it, I'm not feeling it. There must be something wrong with me that I haven't asked forgiveness for. And why would I ever fake it? Clearly everyone else that has fallen down around me is perfect and something is wrong with me. But that's what you think when you're that age and there's that much hysteria going on. And when you're the only one doing something different, it doesn't matter if what they're doing going on. And when you're the only one doing something different,

it doesn't matter if what they're doing is totally insane looking. You're still the odd one out. And you're the kooky one now for not falling in with the fallen over and the speaking into, is that Pentecostal? Episcopal, right? Pentecostal. Well, I never had to deal with that. Thank God.

That sounds fucking horrible. Did at the time, was there any part of you that, that thought like this is made up or was it just kind of the consumed with guilt? Like I'm a bad Christian. I'm going to go to hell. I'm not doing it right. Yeah. It was more of the second one. I had my moments where I was like, yeah, that doesn't make a lot of sense, but faith, right? So whatever, just keep going. And so that's, that's probably most of how I felt. But I would ask questions. They didn't like that. I was a kid in class that was like, how did this dude live in this fish's stomach for days and days? That doesn't seem legit.

And so, they would send me out and make me go sit with my parents in adult church. And I would do that at church camp too. And I was like, why is it not working? And they'd look at me and they'd say, Josh, just let it flow. And I'm like, can you elaborate on what that, how do you quantify that? How does Superman fly faster? Is it just more, what does it mean? He just wants to fly harder. Is it a strain?

Yes. What do you do? Yeah. You weren't given the gift of faith. That's what my father would tell you. That's literally a thing that they'll say. Yeah. If you weren't given the gift of faith. That's what my father would tell you. That's literally a thing that they'll say. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm hearing that. Like, if you weren't given the gift of faith, it doesn't mean you don't have to believe. It just means it's going to be harder for you. And even as a kid, I remember being like, well, this isn't a very fair game. You want to hear my unpopular opinion about religion that I've come to recently?

I don't think you should be able to indoctrinate, I'm using air quotes for those who are listening, children until they're at least like 15 or something. I don't think you should be able to be able to introduce them to religion until they're like at least old enough to fucking drive in a car with an another, an adult,

you know, 25, right? Let the cerebral cortex, what is it that? Yeah. Yeah. Your brain has not complete.

Well, well like don't even get me started on army recruitment and alcohol and tobacco. But like, the idea, you know, I started early, right? And Taylor started early as well. Woody didn't suffer this. But like, and Josh, it sounds like you were there early as well, you know, in our early childhood, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years old, in church, listening to a guy. And I don't know if you're still religious, Josh, but like, at all, but like listening to a guy and i don't know if you're still religious josh but like at all but but like listening to a guy who's basically like scamming us so that we'll give him ten percent of our paycheck every week you know just it's like this this this this super nice man apparently who's up there who doesn't have a real fucking job who just shows up here one day a week with some like copy paste sermon and scams all the adults that are 10 of their pay and like has his house paid for and his car paid for like that guy drove a cadillac yeah yeah the pastor would often like it was like they were the ceo

of the church where it was like oh that beautiful home right on the church land oh that's the pastor's house and it's, do they need that? They've got one kid and they live in a five bedroom, four bathroom estate, seemingly. There were good things there. And I've always, I want to like temper, like what I just said with like, religion can be great. Like religion can like give you this sense of community. It can give you sort of this web of people that you're associated with that can help you, like financially, emotionally. Like if a loved one dies, they're right there, like bringing some casserole over.

Like it's this web of like community that you can form within like a church or something like that. And that stuff is great. It really is. And at its core, like especially, I'm only really truly familiar with the Christian religion, but there's a lot of great stuff there, a lot of philosophical greatness there, that if you actually do live by that religion, you're a pretty decent man. As long as you don't focus too much on some of the hateful stuff in the Old Testament. I was going to say, if you pick and choose the good parts of it, you're a pretty good man.

I think he's more saying the Ten Commandments ones where it's like, don't steal, don't cheat on your wife, don't be a dishonest liar. All of us here believe in the Ten Commandments, right? Except for the four that are about God.

The four Ten Commandments that are like, don't you fucking cheat on me like imagine if your wife was like that in her vows at your wedding it was like it was like like like four of her four like like four tenths of her vows was and if you ever lake of fire dude that's that's like the thing that red flag i i agree with you like there's a lot of good stuff to be taken out of it and like yeah i agree with like the kids thing insofar as like they should focus more on like the hey did you steal that play-doh from tommy what does the bible say don't steal did you just lie about stealing that from tommy you know you're not supposed to lie what i got inculcated with as a kid was like fear of hell to the point that like it was debilitating and i developed like really people will say ocd i've said this before and be like

oh i have to have a neat room like no at like 10 11 years old i had so much ocd i had to touch things certain amount of times i had to tweak. I had to turn things off and on all because I thought if I didn't, that someone I knew and loved would go to hell. And my, my, and it was like obsessive to the point that I'd be like crying to my, to my parents. Like, I don't want my grandparents to go to hell. I don't want my, my brothers to go to hell. I don't want my friends to go to hell. I don't want to go to hell. How do I know if I'm going to go to hell? Like, is there a, do I know for sure? And I was fucking terrified. I'd lay asleep at night and my my mom at the time her response was like we're gonna take him to a therapist but and it

was a christian therapist and so like what should have happened is i go in and they're like what's wrong taylor and i'm like i'm really afraid of everyone i love burning in hell for all eternity and even me burning in hell for all eternity if i don't believe hard enough i think i do but how am i supposed to know and like the way that he handled it instead of being like, well, you need to calm down. You know, you're not going to die and burn in hell. He was like, well, I still remember him. He had his little notebook. He's writing stuff down. He goes, well, these are real fears. These are real fears that you're holding at this point. And I was – my mom put me on Prozac when I was 11 or 12 because I was so fucking – I think that the Prozac at that age really made me a more anxious person naturally than I otherwise would have. That's what's wrong with you now. That's what's wrong with me now. I want to slip this in. When I was 12, I had a real – I felt like I had a choice to make, heaven or hell.

And it was like they keep telling me heaven's the good one, but hell has all the cool people. It must be a nonstop party. It just seems better the warm versus the cold. Heaven seemed really boring. And hell, a nonstop orgy. You didn't go to our church because you wouldn't even have time to talk to the cool guy next to you because you'd both be being tortured and just a perpetual burning forever. And I was only on the antidepressants for like—

Maybe you could work your way into management. He's a demon! I was only on it for like— We all start somewhere. For like six, eight months or like six we've talked about this before that humans do not become angels humans do not become demons that's true the demons are fallen angels i can't argue with science you can't you certainly can't there are some things that are you know unapproachable but um something else i did what age i'm just curious joshua did you kind of grow out of the the religion aspect and and

you were you driven by that fear of hell really intently or or did your kind of intrinsic doubt keep you from taking it fully seriously um i was probably about 18 to the 20 range when i started to be like yes does make a lot of sense uh i don't know. I just watched things happen and I'm, and I'm just thinking to myself, why, why would this be allowed to happen? You're going to come up with some reason and explain to me that's part of his plan,

but I feel like I could have made a better plan than that. And so this doesn't make a lot of sense. Like, and I would just, I would have thoughts like that. Like, this doesn't make sense. Why is this allowed to happen?

Why is this allowed to happen? Why is this allowed to happen? I feel like I could do a little bit better of a job. Not saying I'm perfect or anything, but there are some certain things like how about hungry people get some food? That doesn't seem too hard to ask. That doesn't seem like it hurt anybody really. Stuff like that.

Do you think you're better than God? At least the Old Testament one. Even I'm not so for sure you're better than god um at least the old testament one even i even i'm not so but quite so sure there's not a god enough to say that he might be up there every now and then like i mean he might be up there let's not tempt fate i mean we better hope that if that's real he's he decided to stay jesus and not go back to well there's three of them am i the only one who's always had a hard time wrapping my head around the father,

son, and Holy ghost situation. It's, it never made a lick of sense to me because number one, like, well, I mean like the father, I was like,

okay, that's God. That's the main man. He's his own son and father. It starts to get a little confusing. And then it feels like they just needed to get to three. And so they added a third one. And the ghost is like the the fourth line loser of that relationship like he doesn't seem to get anything give me a hockey reference yeah that's the way i

always think of it and like that but even like learning like growing up they'd be like god does this jesus says that and the holy ghost, you know, he is certainly there. Well, at like the Pentecostal church, it was very focused on spiritual gifts, not so much about what's in the Bible or verses or any of that. It's just like if you have spiritual gifts, you're in. You're good to go. And so like that's what they focused on. That's bizarre.

You had to be able to like see prophecies. Like so they would like have kids come up and give a prophecy. And I'm like part of like, I was, I don't know, 13. I was like, this guy's making that up. Okay. Like maybe you had the other one, but this one, my mom going to give me Jolly Ranchers tomorrow. He's going to get a new car in the name of Jesus and stuff. And it's like, what? And he would just, you know,

start saying like, people are going to get material items. And it's like, that's what you're prophesying? Like nothing bigger than just, he's going to get a new job and some money and a car. And I don't know, there's just a lot of focus on spiritual gifts and materialism. Like it was all about money, pray for more money and you'll get more money. like it was all about money you know pray for more money and you'll get more money and i don't it was it was very strange yeah and the whole like not knowing with prayer that confused me as a kid because it like i would pray a ton go on tell us yeah like meaning like if god says no that means that no is the right answer and it'd be like i remember as a

little kid my grandparents have since stopped smoking uh so maybe the prayer worked just very very late but i remember being like please let my grandparents stop smoking fucking 50 cigarettes each day i don't want them to die and nothing ever happened and in my head i remember thinking i never talked to my parents or anyone about this 50 a day probably two packs each i choose to believe it drops f-bombs in his pair yeah they smoked like 46 each day for 50 years so long and uh they just didn't stop smoking until i was much older like an adult out of the religion thing and i remember as a kid thinking like well i guess for some reason god's plan is for them to keep smoking that doesn't seem like a good plan that's pretty scary uh yeah and and I was probably – I tried really hard throughout my teen years to believe it because –

Until one day you're trapped in the wilderness and your grandfather's lighter saves you all. Just like in – what's the M. Night Shyamalan movie with Mel Gibson? Signs? Yeah. It all makes sense. Your grandpa pulls out that Zippo. Clink. And it's out that zip-up. Clink! And it's like, saved.

Thank you, Lord. I'm going to murder you and your family unless you give me 30 cigarettes. Well, I hope Christians will do. They killed him anyway. Taylor, did you ever have people say stuff to you like, God put this on my heart or God told me? And you were ever like, what did he sound like? What does that feel like?

Can you just quantify that a little bit more? Just make that make sense because I don't know what, how do I know if it's my own thoughts or not? Dude, we totally aligned on that same page. I dealt with that. And I remember once in particular, I've told this many years ago, but I was in study hall first hour in high school and we had a religious kook as our study hall monitor. And it's only a 50 minute study hall. It was first hour now as a senior. So I didn't really have to come in for it. And she would do a lesson for like 25 minutes of this 50 minute study hall. And she would be mad if you didn't like pay attention to it and i remember i came in once as everyone was praying so i was a little late and i sat down and she uh mrs davis opened her eyes

and was like taylor the holy spirit told me you just came in late and i wanted to be like are you sure you didn't just notice me coming but then another time this was a few weeks later, I came in and I had math to do because I procrastinated. I didn't care. And I just sat down. I started working on my math. And I had learned, you know, religious jujitsu in my brain by like using verses tactically. And so she was like, Taylor, the Lord is telling me that this lesson is really important for you right now. Do you think it would be a good thing to pay attention

to this and take away what you can from the Holy Spirit? She was big on the Holy Spirit. And I was like, Miss Davis, I understand what you're saying, but the Bible also says when you do something to do it to the best of your ability for the glory of God. And if I weren't to pay attention to my math homework right now, I wouldn't be doing the Lord just service. And she was like,

okay. Oh, you lose dude i rode that high all day i was too afraid i i was afraid if i ever tried anything like that god would know and he'd be like you're using it the wrong way so like i was too afraid to ever do any of that stuff but like i would always think there's a verse that goes against that. I'm pretty sure, but oh yeah. All right. You're the elder, the adult, whatever. I'll do it. And often it seems like a way for nosy people to facilitate gossip where they would want to ask, like a teacher would want to be like, Taylor, I noticed you're hanging out with blah, blah, blah. And they were having a party and drinking this this past weekend the lord's been telling me that i need to approach you and ask you about this you know he's been telling me that that he thinks

you're receptive and that you're ready to change and it was like you just want me to i wouldn't say this i would be like uh no i wasn't even there but it'd be like okay you just you just want to get gossip and get people to like rat on their friends like this has the lord did not tell you that a bunch of 17 year olds were getting drunk. That's what 17 year olds tend to do. Like that. I hated that. And even at that age,

it was so easy to see through the bolt, that level of bullshit. I was still was like afraid of like the big level of God and everything, but it was became easier and easier to see how, uh, how people manipulate it and use it to get gossip, use it to guilt you. Some of the absolute biggest scumbag, worst people I knew in high school, both teachers and students, were the people who were the most involved in the religious shit. They were the ones that stood there in the front of the auditorium and raised their hands as they were singing.

And, you know, first of all, the way they would always go to the front to put their hands up so that everybody behind them can see. When you pray, do not as the Pharisees and Sadducees do, go into your room and keep it private because this is time between you and the Lord. You know, but they weren't like that.

And it was just a convenient way for them to be above reproach for any sort of criticism. That's what I noticed. Yeah. And it was, yeah, it falls apart the more you notice it's uh it's it's a religion is full of hypocrites it's it's just completely full of hypocrites um

and judgmental karens yeah and there are good there are genuinely good people i did think were trying to look out for me and they thought god was talking to them i do believe that i don't think all of them were bad i think a lot of them were misguided um yeah it is it's pretty fucked the amount of damage you can do to a kid long term like from the whole fire and brimstone shit uh because that affected me for a long time i remember when i was at the camp um when i kept asking like how does this work why can i do it how come they can do it his only answer was like you have something that you haven't asked forgiveness for and so like i don't know me being 13 i'm thinking about the petting off of the pettiest yeah yeah so like just like did i was i was i like late to bed did i stay up late my parents said to go to bed like

did i like say curse word when i was playing halo 2 on xbox live once like i'm going through anything that i've ever done wrong and that's just like where they left trying to plug that hole trying to remember that one thing that you didn't ask for forgiveness for that's ridiculous yeah exactly i totally empathize with that i would like lay down in bed at night when i was a kid and be like, okay, God, I asked for forgiveness because I wasn't very nice to X, Y, Z. And also I said a bad word on my breath and I said this and I didn't pray earlier today, which is probably bad. And it was like, it was like a ritual of self-flagellation mentally, at least where you convince yourself that you're this horrible person that needs to be redeemed from just everyday things. this horrible person that needs to be redeemed from just everyday things. Like, like one day you're going to be like,

right, right. I swung on the banister too hard and made it looser. That's, that's why I can't speak in tongues. That's a huge sin. God was a carpenter. That sucks.

They just convinced you that you had done something wrong and didn't ask for forgiveness and that's why you were like not being recognized by the lord it wow yeah speaking in tongues thing is wild because we didn't have to deal with that at least like being told i can't imagine how hurtful it was and like damaging to your psyche and whatnot being told like oh all these other kids, their frontline first, first ballot hall of fame, heaven people,

you, you might be swinging, dancing with Satan, bitch. Like that's, it's scary. Again, you're making hell look better.

So you're dancing with Satan at this point. No, but he's, he's also stabbing you. What are you doing in heaven? That's so cool. mean they say i never hear about dancing with jesus i remember like reading about heaven and revelations in school and them being like and heaven is the lord sitting there and he has a thousand eyes and

ten crowns of gold and it's like really fucking wild and like and god has the head of uh of a lion and the head of an eagle and the redeemed it's like it's very mushrooms in heaven i mean revolution rep book of revelations is wild it doesn't make any goddamn sense and also like what they actually spell out heaven is it's not like you get to like go watch great sports and eat good food it's like no you stand around the lord praising him for all eternity and i was like i can't handle a two-hour church and you know some of the interesting things that they say about heaven and my mom said this to me once and i was like this is literally i remember this so well i remember exactly where we were we were in livonia georgia at a red light. I know exactly where it is.

It's, you know. Livonia's only red light. There's one. There's like at least four. All right. We're a big city in Livonia, okay? My bad. And she said something.

Like my mom and dad were in the front. My sister and I were in the back. And she said something about how in heaven we wouldn't know each other. We wouldn't know each other as like mother, brother, sister, father. That would be gone. That whole concept, that would be gone. And I was really upset by that. And my dad goes, don't tell them that.

Why would you tell them that? And my mom was like, it's the truth. And he's like, well, i'm not interested anymore then and i'm never thinking to myself i'm not interested either if if we can go to hell and at least know who my fucking father is still like like that's because that's what's really important to me and that's partially like why your story upsets me so much like like going back to like where we began family's very important to me. Like, I love my father. I love my mother. Like, we've got a core like thing there where like, man, it means a lot to me. It means a lot. It means everything to me. And the idea of like, quote unquote, paradise in there, like it's all about praising some deity I've never met before.

And it's not about this person that actually gave me life, that actually raised me, that actually didn't judge me growing up and took care of me. The guy who bought me my fucking first car. The guy who took care of me when I was sick. That's the guy I want to know for all eternity, right?

Not some made-up guy who sent his son to be tortured and murdered. He sent himself to die. My dad doesn't love anyone enough to send me to be tortured and murdered. God's a bad guy. He is. And he's vain too. Like I remember even like teenage being like,

so he like wants us to worship him forever. Like, like, you know, it's like, like, so if I were to like make a bunch of Lego men that I bought, I make them like I give them souls and everything. The last thing I want to do is make them worship me forever.

Like their their little Lego minds must be so far from the unfathomable greatness of God that like, why would you care? Why set up this huge rigmarole just to stroke your own ego. I can tell you, if you look at it as a business venture, you need their undying devotion and you need them not to look at your competitors to keep funding that money towards you. You want undying devotion. You want them to understand that giving you cash is their way into the eternal paradise. And like, when you look at it through that lens,

like, Oh, that's why 40% of the, of the 10 commandments are related to loyalty to me. It's because you're my customer. I you bullshit you give me money my attraction to heaven was always this i had this dumb idea i don't think it's in the bible that you look like you in heaven but peak you right so i have this idea that there's this slider that you dial between like zero and 76 however long you made it and choose which one which which version of you like 18 no no no no 27 a little expired until you find like

your perfect age and that's what you look like nope that is certainly not how they say it works something like getting back to to your story joshua i you just mentioned it kind of off off hand in your video you said that your dad predicted the rapture at one point and that he i guess how did that go down yeah so we were at like christmas and uh it was just like after hurricane katrina and um there's there's FEMA camps everywhere. And I guess he was convinced that they're actually not to help people, but they're like camps for Nefari's purposes to take people away and collect them and the believers and the nonbelievers and separate them and all that stuff.

And he made us all sit down around after we finished eating Christmas dinner and watch this put put together video by his church about how the end of the world was coming very, very soon. And then he said, I'll be right back. And he walked back to his bedroom and he came back with these pamphlets on how to clean your own water and how to grow your own food. And then he gave it to my family only, not my aunts, not my uncles, just me, my sister, my mom and dad, because according to them, we're the ones that are screwed. And so they're just like, here you go, best of luck. By the way, now's your chance to get saved again. So we're going to go have a prayer

circle over here. If you want, just let us know. And that's when me and my dad kind of just looked at each other. And then my dad went outside to have a cigarette and I just kind of followed him. And we just sat outside going, going huh so this is how you were raised huh dad and he's like yeah now you know josh i'm like oh yeah it makes sense that is so it took me a second to realize where that was headed they gave you the water and food things not like like it's a fuck you yeah it's a like yeah because're going to need this while we're eating, you know, delicious lamb in heaven. Yeah. That's so,

it was a good guy. It's the lucky ones getting cared for until you explain. Uh, wow. Wow. Yeah. That is so screwed. And like,

that's, that's like one of the most common Bible verses, like even in secular people to know, it's like, you will not know the day or the hour. Only your Father in heaven knows when Jesus is going to return or whatever. So none of those predictions make sense. Even if you're religious as shit, you shouldn't be predicting the rapture.

How many people wasted their lives because they thought that this was this minuscule fraction compared to eternity in the afterlife? How many people wasted their lives and didn't live them to the fullest because of this nonsense? Probably a lot. Probably a lot. It's so upsetting to me. It's so upsetting. Go ahead, Woody.

I was going to ask Josh, where's your relationship with your family now? Because I feel like you've been cut loose and disowned more than once. Like this is a tactic as a way to get more cash out of you. Are you still cut loose? So they've tried to contact me. My dad tried to call me after that, maybe nine months or so. And the first words out of his mouth were, how you doing boy? Not, I'm sorry. I want to apologize. Don't hang up like that. Sort of kind of as you would expect. It was how you doing, boy? And I just let him talk for a few minutes. And I said, you've been talking for this long and you still haven't apologized. And he was like, that was then, this is now,

nothing I can do about it. And I'm like, okay. So at that point I stopped caring and I just wanted to just ask him a bunch of questions so that I could have information if the police ever came to me for anything that they needed, because people would go to jail and the police would call me or miss work. Good for you, man. Like, like for real good for you. That was when you discovered the, the drug issue side of it also, right? Like you didn't know about that initially, or did you know about the drugs prior to that conversation with your dad i knew nothing about drugs really with them i would never i would have never thought that they would ever do that like they would smoke cigarettes but not not that's not you know that sort of stuff ever um and it was like i never found any evidence

people when they saw the videos like josh like, Josh, it's drugs, gambling, something. And I never actually saw any evidence until my girlfriend's dad pointed it out. I was showing him some pictures. He's a firefighter. And so my camera froze. I'll fix it in a sec. He's a firefighter. And he looked at my dad's eyes and he saw that they were just pinpoints, just tiny.

He's like, Josh, your dad's not even in his brain right now. Like this is how out there. And that's when kind of the dominoes started to fall. Yeah. What kind of drugs? What kind of drugs was it? Heroin and meth oh goodness so not skipping right to the end game of drugs yeah yeah yeah uh jesus christ so and and basically what

had been happening is they'd been lying was it pretty much that whole time uh from the first cutoff from your grandparents that they had been, you know, even before that, I'm sure using that money, lying about what they were spending it on to get heroin. Yeah. So my dad would have these mysterious medical issues and he'd say, I need to go to the doctor and get this and that. But he would never tell me what doctor, he would never show me a receipt, nothing. But, you know, he's like, I'm going to die if I don't have it. I'm like, okay, here you go. You know, or they would do the triple dipping thing, I guess, is what I would call it. They would call me.

They'd call my mom's parents. They'd call my dad's parents. And they'd all ask each one of them for money, but they wouldn't tell you if they got money from someone. So they'd get money from everyone and not say, oh, no, they already gave me money. We're good. They would just do that every day. get money from everyone and not not say oh no they already gave me money we're good they would just do that every day so i'd have to tell them like if they talk to you and ask for money please tell me so i know not to give them money and that i know that you already got it and like there would just

be petty things like that and i'd be like why are you lying to me i already know you got money this week or stuff like that yeah that is rough it did the was that kind of the final nail in the coffin of wanting to distance yourself like realizing the the duplicitousness the trickery and the drugs the whole time uh yeah so i was under the impression that uh first of all my mom my dad and my sister were all living uh in utah but i was under the impression that my mother and my sister went back to go be a caretaker for my grandfather before he passed away. And that's where they were going to stay. And it was just going to be me and my dad here. And I was going to take care of him and help him get a job and help him with

YouTube and do his whole channel thing and all that stuff. And, um, that, that didn't happen. My mom went, became a caretaker. My grandfather passed away.

And then my mom started using my deceased grandfather's pain pills, stealing until she got caught. And then my grandmother kicked her out back to Utah with my dad. But when I went to go see my dad, there was a time where I went to knock on his door just because I wanted to check in on him because he doesn't answer, sends these texts that don't make sense because he's probably out of it or something. And my mom and my sister were both behind the door, but he wouldn't let me in. I never knew that I was that close to just uncovering it all because what if I had just walked in and they're in there doing drugs, which is probably what they were doing and why he wouldn't let me in.

Yeah, there's syringes on the table or whatever. There's syringes on my table too, but that's a different story. Those are to get yoked syringes, not heroin syringes. How is – the drug thing really threw me for a loop when you talked about it because it's like – it does go to show how powerful drugs are, that your family, your family, your parents, like there comes a point where they will put like you tied to a train

track just to get high again. And it's, it's a sad realization. I'm sure to be like, I'm, I'm playing second fiddle to, to meth right now. Yeah.

I, I gave my dad a second car, my car that I had after he, again, I transferred the title and all that stuff to him after they stole it. Cause I was like, I'm not dealing with this anymore. You guys can have it in the insurance and all that. So they pawned that. So then I said, you know, here's another car, me being dumb, right? Obviously it's laughable now. You're like, what are you doing, Josh? But you feel like you're doing the noble thing.

Honestly, you just want to help them and i never knew about drugs or anything but when i finally took my car back after i said i'm not paying you can't have my car anymore said you're gonna get a job so i finally went and got a repo dude to come take it while he was i don't know at home all three of them were there and i didn't know that when i was repowing the car i didn't know i was taking it from all three of them but when i got in the car checked it out look for evidence of drugs because everyone's saying that that's what they're doing i didn't find any but i did find that i gave them that car at 40 000 miles and in eight months they put like 20 000 miles on it

and where are you going you don't dealers houses where are you driving to all the time all the places that you would work would be half a mile from your house. Yeah. Yeah. And so there's no explanation for that. I'm sure he just lied and denied the whole drug thing. That's what you said. And this is,

you know what, you know what I'm just realizing this is the stuff that you're aware of because like it was tied to you, like, you know, either your social security number or you were just, you found out about it. Who knows what you don't know about, right?

Like, who knows, like, one of these days you're going to be like, hey, I wonder where my, where's my second DVD player at? Or like, you know, like there's probably so many little things like that that you don't even know about. There are some that I figured out, like after the fact. My dad asked me for money once and he said he didn't have enough in his bank to make a withdrawal. And it's in there, but I have to wait till the next day to bounce his check. And essentially he would give me a check for a hundred bucks and I'd give him a hundred bucks cash.

And he did that knowing that the check would bounce, but he has my cash. And so obviously the check bounced and I'm just like, you planned this. You never, you knew that I wasn't going to be able to get that money. This is what you've. Yeah. And like realizing probably like he's given you like a false smile, just trying to play to your emotions,

take advantage of the fact that he's your dad. Yeah. That's just beyond shitty. And, and you said growing up, there was no indication really that like a turn like this was going to happen. I would have never, ever seen it. It didn't, it wasn't bad.

Like growing up was fine. We had a fairly, I don't know, lower middle class life. Like I wasn't like in poverty. Like we had food and clothes and stuff. It was fine. I would have never seen anything like those sorts of things. You know, like you sit as a kid, you sit and watch like A&E and intervention and stuff is fine i would have never seen anything like those sorts of things you know like you sit as a as a kid you'd say watch like a and e and intervention and stuff and they're like wow that's crazy never in my life would i ever put them their faces in that show yeah and and something

that was interesting i remember you saying in the second video your dad saying i don't watch those videos because you know your grandparents told me not to and i wasn't sure to like i don't know if i believe that uh if he actually didn't watch him but like another thing it revealed is that your grandparents were lying to him in their own right trying to hide your side of the story from him in this you know as much as they could so and it seemed like you were angriest at them, uh, overall because they made it look like instead of me just not wanting to be a piggy bank anymore, that there was some, some sort of like, I don't know, like I hate them as a family and like, I don't want anything to do with them anymore. And like, maybe some of that was true too, but

it wasn't, they tried to make it seem like i was just doing it to be mean yeah and not because i had given him warnings for like four or five months at a time every month is like hey man you got to get a job next month okay yeah i will and then the next month hey man look and it went went on and on like that for like for years really um and then eventually one of the times i just said, all right, this is it, the last one. But obviously he doesn't believe me because I've said that 30 times before. So when I finally put my foot down, even my grandparents were betting on me breaking because I've told them this is the last month before too. And I was like, I'm not going to pay his rent.

And then they would message me a month later and be like, yeah. So how do you pay his rent? I would say I paid it. It's fine. He's still looking. He, it would always be that constant.

I have just one more interview next week. Just another one next week. Oh, they, the position got filled with someone else. Like there's always something to keep it going to keep me right there. Like he's going to have his own money. So it's right on the horizon. No, because he's a master manipulator. He's, he's figured it out. He's gonna have his own money so it's right on the horizon

no because he's a master manipulator he's he's figured it out he's figured he's figured and it's you're not the only one he's doing that to i guarantee i i'm sure he's doing it to lots of lots of people anyone that that will bite and you just happen to be in that position where you're trying to be a good son how are you funding all this is it just youtube money are you working full-time on top of youtube just youtube i'm i mean i'm i don't know i'm fairly frugal i guess i'd make investments when i can but other than that i just usually buy food and clothes and expense stuff for the channel i guess but yeah it was all just me just saving because i don't i don't know i don't buy a whole lot so i just say and you don't have a fucking drug problem and by saving you mean giving your money to somebody else yeah yeah i thought that was the

right thing to do like i thought i hate this for you i hate this so much it's horrible and like like for a for a parent to like knowingly sabotage their own child's financial future like the destroying your credit thing the uh embroiling you in crimes where you know the car that's in your name it's not enough to do a hit and run then they continue to seek out you know uh drugs in the car you said that something else they would do is they'd use the car that you gave them and your dad would drive them to like walmart and your mom and sister would get out go in steal a bunch of stuff come out get in your fucking car and then go sell it on facebook marketplace so there's it's it's just a flagrant disregard like for you as a person like oh no he's he's got the internet money he'll be fine

the drug cares that's what my grandmother said she's like you've made thousands every month and it's like so do people with normal salary jobs everybody usually makes thousands a month but like it doesn't mean i can just pay pay rent buy bills pay his imaginary doctor bills like all this other stuff like i still want to work towards something for myself you need to find a real family you need to find a good family that wants to adopt you you want to be a minor we'll suck you right on in okay We don't need any money from you. You just show up. I cook a great Thanksgiving. I deep fry a turkey every year.

It's a whole southern thing. You're from Georgia anyway. I'm sure you like that shit. Won't borrow any money at all from you. Do you play the guitar or anything? We have these great times where everybody gets together and plays the guitar and sings. Great time.

You could be a Myers. Things always get really weird when anyone ever asks me for money now. It's always just like instantly I become overly suspect. I don't know. It's just like, what do you want? That's the YouTube thing, man. Anytime anyone asks for anything, so many people are working you and then their palm comes up later. Soon enough, they'll be asking for something.

It can be exposure. It can be cash. Who knows what it is, but you just get guarded. You put walls up because the turn seems like it's always coming. The thing that people ask of me a lot is my time. I'm very generous with my time. We've got this Discord of guys who are part of our Patreon and anytime someone wants

to talk about whatever, I'll jump in a call with them and chat with them. Sometimes for an hour at a time. My time I'll give away but like man this whole idea of milking you for your money and like this this repeated process of like i guess you didn't know that it was drugs but like it makes so much sense now that you know we know it's heroin and uh and methamphetamine like which is an interesting combination i i don't know a lot about drug abusers but i wasn't aware that i i would have thought that you were either a heroin guy or a methamphetamine

guy like one or the other you know what i mean it's like i think it was because if they couldn't get one they would get the other um yeah yeah but but they're not the same. Who craves fire and ice? Right? You crave one or the other. I think they wanted anything but to feel sick from the withdrawals of heroin. Oh, that's a good point. You know, when you put it that way, they're almost pitiable.

I don't know that, like, justifiable isn't the word. I can't wrap my head around doing it to your family, but like, I think what we have to keep in mind is that these are people who, who if they don't rip off their son, then they're going to suffer terribly. I, I wish that you could, I wish it was like a TV drama, you know, where you could see those times when like,

maybe there was a time when they were like no let's not do this to josh and they were vomiting and they were crawling on the floor and just like this is so awful like i bet you're with me and that if you knew that that had happened just once you could you could maybe forgive or understand or at least you know something i've tried to watch a lot of documentaries about drug addict i don't know if you've ever seen the youtube channel like soft white underbelly where he's just one-on-one interviewing addicts on the street and they tell their story and i i try to i don't know does that sound messed up i try to watch them and and they talk about how like they can think about nothing else they They don't care about anything else.

It rewires the chemistry of their brain to where they're incapable of feeling that sort of, no, no, he's my kid. I can't do that. It's just, no, I need more. How do I fund it? And that's, I don't know. I try to understand how it changes people's brains, how it changes their attitudes. And it's almost like it's almost like they're hijacked by something inside and like they're still in there somewhere yeah and it can come back but well just rewires all your reward pathways and so it's like now whereas when you were a kid maybe your dad gets joy taking you to a baseball game or something, gets a little dopamine hit, you know, spending time with my son.

Oh, that feels good. I like that. I'm going to do this more. You replace all that with like an artificial stream from heroin or something. And now that's so much more intense than the high you get from lifting weights or eating a reasonably healthy meal or whatever that everything has to surround that. I jumped in because i had to go to the bathroom but you're talking about watching videos about addicts online and stuff yeah it's it's it it does open your eyes to that problem because i've definitely done the same

i was really harsh i think i i think in the videos i was um i i think some of it was me just being mean just just to be me but that's how i felt when i was making that i had no one to to go to really because the people that you go to are the people that are doing the thing to you so you turn on the camera and you just talk just get it all out i guess so that's what i did a great job in those like the the little i i think most people would have been much more brutal and meaner like just having like one or two fuck you and fuck you too like that was that must have been a nice little bit of you know catharsis getting that off your chest or a little bit what got me as a video maker is i knew they were scripted so i was like is he going off script right now or does he have like bird in parentheses

on the script i had like notes of different examples that I wanted to hit of things that they did, but it wasn't the script. A lot of it was just me following through what I could remember happened. And then as I was making that, different examples would pop in my head. And so then I would go off a little bit. You have bullet points. That's what I do too when I make a comparable video. It's like, yeah, these are the things I need to hit to tell the story properly. You said that, uh, like, you know, you're, you're,

you've spoken to them like family members since then. Uh, it seems to revolve a lot around your dad and you're, you're not like having the direct communication with your mom and it doesn't seem at all like with your sister. Is that still the way it is? Like, it's almost like your dad's the liaison for the family to talk to you um probably not so much anymore since when he called me and he wasn't very sincere he was like you know don't put this in one of your youtube videos i knew from the moment he said that i was going to do it i wanted him to know what it feels like when someone lies to your face that you trust so much. So that's why I did it.

And maybe that's mean. Can I ask a question? I'm sorry to interrupt you. I know it varies from state to state. If you had recorded these phone calls, and I think you're in California, are you allowed to upload? Because that's what I would do. I would record any phone calls in the future I had with them and I would upload that as reference. I'm in Utah and it's one

party consent state so I could do it if I wanted. Okay. For some reason I thought you were in California. We were talking about West Coast earlier. That's what it was. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So where did you learn to fly? In Utah? Yeah. Point of the Mountain. Who? It was

a Cloud 9. Steve. Okay. I've've talked to him i don't know him really he's pretty cool dude are you still flying like have you found that like is i know life is still rough you know being distanced from your family and everything but are you getting some enjoyment like being able to focus on you clearly the channel's doing fucking tremendous i'm sure you're having more time to to do your your hobbies like flying uh yeah i think so i haven't flown that much i have a motorcycle problem i think i have too many motorcycles um how many is too many i have six oh i just got fucking alfred you and kyle you guys combined for three right uh i have three oh well shit you always take a new one in i have a i have a paramotor too but i've only flown it a couple times and then one time i went to bring it up and the wind changed directions and it blew the

lines into the prop and so now the prop flew off and i have i have a wooden one i can replace it with but i have to re-net it i have a scout carbon like one of the og ones really old ones so i have to like rivet the net back around it and i don't i don't know if i trust myself to do that so i'll take to someone yeah scouts in utah aren't no aren't they he's montana or oregon anyway yeah maybe it's not utah but uh i think it was it's been easier to focus on myself but i wonder about them like do they still do it did they go to rehab did they successfully complete it and it's nice to be able to finally save for

things that i want it just on the flip side it feels bad when I spend that money on the things that I want, which I guess has just been ingrained because I've been wanting to help other people for so long that if I do something for myself, I feel guilty about it. I still deal with that fairly regularly. Like I don't deserve this. I should be giving this to someone else who does type mentality. I'll get over it eventually.

It happens to me sometimes. It's like I could help someone without hurting myself. But am I supposed to? Like that's where I get stuck. Am I supposed to? I did earn this, right? Like I hit the lottery or something. I worked really hard for decades.

Now, a friend once called me a self-made man who enjoys his toys. And somehow that burned into my head. And I'm like, that's okay, right? Yeah. Right? Of course it is. Yeah. But this person over here, you know, she can't make her car payment.

Am I supposed to pay for her car for her? She's been my wife's friend for two months. What's my level of commitment to this person? Zero. Two month friend? A two month friend? Yeah. Fuck you.

You don't even have to buy them dinner. Two month friends get dinner two month friends get dinner they don't get car payments they don't get car payments and then there's this um sorry i'm making this about me but like this i try not to buy people things because if i have a friend it be because they enjoy my company, not because they're able to get things from me. And even if it starts as enjoying my company, if they start getting things from me, then it becomes that, like it or not. It can't be like, yeah, Josh was really cool, but he also pays for my car. You can't unring that bell. That's a thing that's out there and so it's almost like you

can't help or it ruins the relationship as much as if you do help and that's it's it's tricky to navigate i think uh i don't know it's like one of the hardest moments was when they were asking me for money for food. And I said, okay, how about I just take you food shopping? And they instantly turned me down. And then, you know, that's red flags. When that happens, you know, they want money for a thing, but you're like, let's just cut the middleman. I'll just go get you the thing. Or I have a job interview. I need some need some interview clothes okay i'll take you shopping well

i don't need to go anymore you know stuff like that would happen a lot so what i found i guess what i do now is i'll just buy another one if i buy something that i like and then that way i can share it with someone else if i want but it's still mine so like you're such a genuinely nice guy you need a you need a you need you need a peer you need a peer like my dad had this great thing with his brother growing up where like they they had they both made a lot of money as you know as business partners and so like my dad would buy a corvette his brother would buy a corvette my dad would buy uh this high-end remington sniper rifle his brother would buy a corvette my dad would buy uh this high-end remington sniper rifle his brother would buy one too they were matching versions of everything you know growing up and it was just like you need a peer you know peer and it's hard sometimes if you're doing okay

and you know maybe your peers aren't doing okay to like find that peer i've dealt with that myself like where like a lot of my friends weren't doing so well financially and i was and it was just like i mean maybe i'll just buy two so that we can And I was, and it was just like, I mean, maybe I'll just buy two so that we can all have one. Right. Like, you know, like I've,

I've had to do that before, but it's like having a peer, like a financial peer, you know, sometimes when it comes to this sort of thing is, is a big deal. Like I think Woody has found that with his paramotoring and his motorcycling,

right? Like he doesn't just like find some poor guy who's a good friend and be like hey let's get you an r6 then you can ride with me you know he's like oh so you've got an r6 you can ride with me you know you kind of got to do things that way at some point like you can't always be the the breadwinner for the whole fucking group yeah and not only can you run out of money but you don't even know if your friendships are real yeah yeah it's like the bam margera thing from like jackass like the early 2000s where he was like buying all his friends lambos none of them had jobs and in return he'd

be like hey i need you to suck my balls for mtv and they're like i guess so it's like it's not real friendship it's it's a little exploitative it's all yeah it's a little yeah transactional that's that's the best i think sometimes i think about like um i want people to experience what it's like to not have to think about if they if they have to pick between the light bill or food for a month. And like a lot of the people I grew up with or like my family, they always kind of just paycheck to paycheck. And for me, I don't, I'm not like a millionaire or anything, but for me to be able to have extra money,

I just want to show people like when you don't have money, money is everything, but when you do it's not and you can only experience that once it's happened to you like people that don't have money that see people that do they're like you know you could do all this and this and why aren't you happy and all that and it's it's it becomes more about like who do you want to be as a person what do you want to do what do you actually enjoy besides just coming home playing video games like who do you want to do what do you actually enjoy besides just coming home playing video games like who do you want to be as a as a person and so what i try to do is allow people to have that experience so that like if you had everything you wanted within reason now what

what what would you do and i don't know i try to because some people look at me and they're like you, what's it like to go shopping for food and not have to look at the tag on the can of corn or whatever. I'm just like, it's good. But there are other things that fill in that worry that I think about. And you can't understand that when you're worried about what the price is. But I wish you could understand what it's like to have money but also i don't know i feel like i'm ranting thank you for no no no money no problems older than you but for me it wasn't the can of corn it was a menu uh for until i was like 30 something i read menus from right to left right so it would be like 9.99 8.99 12.99 6.99 that looks good that's how i read menus and then at some point it just got to be like oh reading them from left to right is quite nice they're like oh they have sirloin here well that's the best thing on this menu i want that yeah that is a good feeling like like not like the opposite of being on dates in like high school where you go somewhere and

it's like even if it's just like red robin it's like if this bitch gets the whiskey river barbecue burger i'm in trouble i hope she goes for a tavern mini i have a plan if she orders a burger i get a burger if she orders lobster i get water we're fine no i'm on a cleanse the water yeah i've done that like oh that's what you get i'm not i guess i guess i'm not hungry tonight it's all about you babe yeah that is a shitty move you know when like a high school girl being like, I'll have the steak. It's like, first of all, we're at Applebee's. Man, they don't have that at Wendy's. I never had that problem.

My dad would always fund my dates pretty well when I was a kid. You don't want to go on a date if you have less than $100 in your pocket. That's not going to work out, right? Wait, what? How are you going to go on a you have less than $100 in your pocket. That's not going to work out, right? Wait, what? How are you going to go on a date with less than $100 in your pocket? How do you go on a date with $24 in my pocket? Oh my goodness. The movies cost $24. Yes.

You can't do it. If you're taking a girl to dinner in the movies. And we're walking. Like 16-year-old me taking a girl on a date. Let's just pretend I have gas in my car which i don't like but like the movies are going to cost 20 bucks at least right like nine dollars and then tax right and then like what are we going to not have popcorn we're not going to have a drink we're just going to sit there with nothing like this is going to be a 75 evening at at least. And we should have a little buffer room.

Like, like I can't relate to that. Cause my dad, I was, I would always be like, Hey dad, I'm cause I'd work with my dad anyway. So like,

it wasn't like, I was just like, Hey, give me more money for free. Cause I'm me. It'd be like, I, you know,

I had like cut the grass or I had like, I had worked on the farm or I had done something to earn this money. Crazy enough. This is after Kyle stole his dad's truck and developed a heroin habit yeah this is last year this is last year actually um but but you know like like if it was valentine's day i'd be like hey dad i want to i want to like get my girlfriend something nice for valentine's day he's like oh yeah okay okay how much do you think what do you want to do i'm like i want to kind of do something nice this year i want to get her this ridiculous like uh like box of chocolates he's like how much is it what do you mean a ridiculous box of I want to kind of do something nice this year. I want to get her this ridiculous, like a,

like, like box of chocolates. He's like, how much is it? What do you mean a ridiculous box of chocolates? And I was like, it's a hundred. I was like,

I was like, it's $110 dad. He's like, that's, that better be a big box of chocolates. I was like, dad, it's so big.

She's going to freak out. He was like, show me. And I like showed him on my phone. He's like, that is a huge box of chocolates. She's going to love that. And he's just like, you know, because when I brought her that box of chocolates that was so big, you could barely get it inside of a car.

She was blown away. She loved it. It was like she talked about that for years to come. You know, like I don't know. She finished the chocolates and you had to break it off. Yeah. Yeah. After she ate the chocolate, she was no longer desirable.

It was pretty disgusting after that. Did your parents give you money when you wanted it? Me? Taylor. When I needed it, I'll say. I didn't ask for money when I wanted it. I only ever asked for money when I needed it.

Chocolates are a want, but Taylor? It's Valentine's Day! Usually, it would be like them just buying it for me. So it would never be like... If I was like, I need a new hockey stick, my dad would be like, all right, let's go hockey stick shopping. It wouldn't be like, all right, you know, how much is the one you want?

Because my dad was a huge play it again, sports guy. And like, even we'd go to like total hockey and I would like always, you know, I'm like 14, 15, 16. And I'm standing by like the brand new goalie sticks looking at the name. and it's like, oh, this is Dominic Hasek's curve. I could be as good as Dominic Hasek. That is how that works. That is how it works. Or I could choose to be Martin Brodeur.

Oh, the Brodeur stick's $310. And my dad would be like, hey, have you ever heard of Whitey Buck? He was an AHL minor league goalie in the 50s and here's one of his sticks and like and to his credit it was like those sticks got trashed so quickly it did not make a lick of sense for me to have a super nice one and so yeah it made more sense or the way it worked for me mostly was like if i needed something i tell them and then they take a shot for it not so much given money to go buy it my parents so as a kid they supported me right i got all my clothes and food and stuff like you know it wasn't like i had to make my way on my on my own um but

if it was anything on top of the necessities then typically i paid for it and if i needed more money he would lend it to me but there was interest and i, I remember it was 11% interest. The thing is, the math on 11 is so much harder than 10, right? And he chose 11 intentionally, which wasn't too far above the going rate at the time. The interest rates are lower now, but I had friends' parents offering me like 8% interest. They knew I was good for it. This reminds me when it would be, he's keeping on this. He's in,

my father was an accountant and he had this like extra long yellow, like legal pad that he would tally all my stuff in. And, you know, he'd whip out the calculator, which was a, an accountant's professional calculator with the tape that went and he'd have to look at it or anything.

He'd just be like, and you know, it just thinks of worrying. And then he'd. He'd just be like, brr, brr, brr, brr. And, you know, just things whirring. And then he'd figure out my current, like, you know, like what the interest had accumulated to by that day. And I'd pay it down. And that was how borrowing money from my dad went. Jesus.

Yeah. But then there were other gifts, too. Like one of the ones, I was a young adult. Call me 23, right? So at this time, I was a young adult. Call me 23. So at this time, I was working full time. I was going to school at night. I had a side business. And I was having a hard time paying my credit card.

A life expense came up. I wasn't super irresponsible. And I was going to work. I was installing networking cables in my father's office. And I was physically wearing out. I was a mess. I have this like lightweight Tourette syndrome and I'm twitching and I'm exhausted. And my father's looking at me like, what's up with this kid? And I'm like, I'm just tired, but I have to work. I have to work because I need money. And he's like, you need rest. Like you are not only you're working every waking moment, but you have enough sleeping moments.

And he's like, what do you owe? And it wasn't a ton. Call it like six hundred and fifty dollars. And he's like, I'm like cheering up thing. He's like, done. You get some rest. And that's how that day went. It was it was meaningful to me because he didn't just throw money away like that.

But, but that day it was like, really? He's charging you interest. Oh my God. Oh my God. He's charging you interest. Yeah.

You're like, he chose 11 on purpose. He couldn't have just picked nine. Nine has the same math as 10. You can almost do in your head. Right. But he's doing 11 interest yeah but uh and i there was a christmas once where he paid my tuition that month so like i was going to school at night and that was a that was a cool gift but um so yeah he helped out here and there but mostly he wanted me to pay my own bills i've've had moments very, very similar to that. I was texting some girl, I don't know, back, back when it cost money to text like across the country. And I

didn't know, I was just texting all day and all night. And then one day he got like a, he was like $988 phone bill just for me. And my mom got the bill and she showed it to me and my mom just looked at me and goes you better probably not be here when your dad gets home from work there's there's some places hiring i saw you can go find them and i was like i thought i thought that day was like my last day on earth if i was gonna see my dad at the end of that day and i came home and i was like trying to find jobs like everywhere mcdonald's all the fast food places gnc like anywhere that i could go in and get an application for but no one would hire me like on the spot so i went back home prepared to get kicked out like is my mistake and and then i was i was like i was like a little bit of a mess

because i was afraid he was just gonna just disown me and kick me out then I was like a little bit of a mess because I was afraid he was just going to just disown me and kick me out. And I was crying a little bit. And he just gave me a hug. He said, don't worry about it, Josh. You're good. See, I think maybe part of like why like my experience is different than you guys is like I worked with my dad like and did a man's work from the time I was 11 or something like that. Putting fucking shingles on roofs and doing carpentry and PVC

work and climbing under houses and working, working. You'd go and you would work all day. My dad always had some flunky that was also hired to work and I would out work the flunky as a 12 or 13 year old and it was like

i think he just and i wasn't getting paid you know i didn't get paid until i was like 15 or something like that when it was like yeah you have a reason to have money now because like what's a 14 year old need money for anyway you know like you can't go anywhere you can't go anywhere you can't do anything but a 15 year old he's got some reasons to have some fucking money and a 16 year old certainly does so like then i started getting paid a little bit but like we would do like these big overhaul projects sometimes like i remember one time we did this thing um where we were just like i've talked this before with like poultry houses how like we were retrofitting them and it was this like it was two or three weeks of solid work 10 hours a day of carpentry and like insulation and pvc and like lots of

hammer and nail work and uh and i he paid me $14 an hour. And he paid the Mexican guys that were working with us $12 an hour. And I was like the foreman. And I took that super seriously. Every time I saw them being lazy, I was like, come on, come on, we got to get back to it. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. I ran the fucking crew.

And I don't know, I took it super seriously. It wasn't a man's work. I ran the fucking crew and, uh, I don't know. I took it super seriously. That was like just during the summer. It wasn't a man's work, but the employers in my area were about the beach and the board work. Yeah. So it was a teenager's work, you know? Yeah.

I like, like that's why I've got like all those stories of like gruesome fucking injuries growing up and all these like, like, like ridiculous scars and stuff. Cause like, I don't know. I was always cutting myself open or smashing a finger or like, getting attacked by wasps wasps or something like that it was

it was an interesting childhood but it taught me a lot of like work ethic i guess like i was thinking today about like the times and and like you know you think about those times in your past that make you cringe like when you did something wrong or you fucked up and i was saying there was this one day when we were working and I had to go home and take a shit. And I went back home and I was so exhausted because I hadn't slept the night before. I was like 15.

And I just climbed into the bed to try to catch a little sleep, but I fell completely asleep. And my dad came home. He had done all the work by himself and he came home and he was just like, what happened? What happened? It's a good question,'s open it's a good opener yeah what happened and i'm just like i thought i'd just like lie down for a minute and i just i don't know what time is it he's like what fuck what why does it matter what time it is the work's over we're done we're done for the day i'm'm like, oh, shit.

I'm sorry. And I was just thinking about how embarrassing that was, like how bad I felt that I had left him in a pinch to do all my work and his work too. I thought about that today. I was in traffic today, and I thought about that. It made me feel bad. But I don't know.

We were always working growing up. Was it just during the summer you were doing this or during the school year also? Well, I was homeschooled for a couple of years So it was all day every day. What years were those? I'm curious sixth grade and seventh grade So I was I would have been like Maybe so you didn't homeschool at high school. That was middle school

So like sixth grade and seventh grade and then I went to eighth grade and then high school is nine ten eleven twelve Right so like I did all that of course I came back in eighth grade. I was having so many issues in sixth grade that they just pulled me out very early in sixth grade. Like bullying issues? Yeah. Yeah. I had this problem with this one kid. And it was literally like that shit they talk about on Reddit all the time about how as soon as you defend yourself, you're the problem.

Like against a bully or something like that. And there was just like this fucking bully that was just a fucking piece of shit that i had a problem with and uh like whatever i did he seemed to take issue with it and was just constantly like fucking with me like he would end up sitting behind me in class is just like you know flicking my ear or whatever the fuck and like when you finally stand up to him now you're the violent one who's like needs needs some sort of parent teacher conference so they just pulled me out and uh what was funny was like i was at a football game i don't know how long it was after i had been homeschooled but like that guy like confronted me again and i beat the shit out of him in front of like a bunch of people and it was like i don't know it's one of the happiest

better than him what did puberty treat you better than him like yeah yeah i was a good like three or four inches taller at this point like like like he was he looked like a short eminem or something like that and i'd been working on the farm for two years or whatever the fuck and and he just got his shit pushed in like rocky toing this yes yeah and you know i don't want to like and it wasn't like i was like teeing this guy up or anything i i caught him one good time in the in the mouth and like his mouth was bleeding and for like a sixth grade seventh grade eighth grade fight or whatever it was i really don't remember like that's a ko right and i just remember all everybody was cheering and it was it it really was like one of those reddit moments and everyone clapped wow kyle's gonna keep us safe from the bullies it really was like that though

and like my dad returned and they brought me a crown made of a trap i swear to god and then my dad walked up and he's like and and like my dad of course like is well versed in like my problems with this guy like going back and he's like look at that little son of a bitch now look at him now and it was just like you know he was proud of me and meanwhile your dad's been mr miyagi-ing you on the floor for two years like swinging the fucking hammer for two years i've been swinging that fucking hammer um it was like there's a there's a johnny cash song about um that's just like that about like working all these years when oni's been oni's been sitting up there getting soft and and I've been working hard building muscles,

and it's his last day of work, and he's tired of being bullied, and he's going to beat the shit out of Oni, who's his manager or whatever. But yeah, I beat the shit out of that guy, and because it was a school event, he was in trouble. He was going to get suspended from school because we're at the football game, but I'm homeschooled. Dad's like, silly witch, you have

no power here. You have no power here. My dad's like, nah, he's coming up here with us to watch the rest of the football game. Like to the principal or whoever the authority figure was or whatever the fuck. And it was just like, they take him away and they're going to kick him out of the game. It was a good day.

It was a good day. Did you ever have to get summer jobs like Sonic or something? Or was there always just so much work to be done always so much work to be done yeah yeah that's nice yeah you got to work alongside your dad like that yeah i always grew up like driving tractors and um driving trucks and tractors and trailers and and all that stuff like cutting hay and bailing hay and um all that stuff like you know farmer shit yeah my summer jobs in high school like where i guess it was i only had to after i could drive so like 16 17 18 summers and that was initially like i would have been that was the story where i went and i tried to work at ben and jerry's and they told me i was hired after getting eight full hours of making waffle cones out of me.

And then they told me that they actually closed. And thank you for trying out. And so that's the word for that. We learned it with Mullen, Danny Mullen. Oh, the there's some French word for like a tryout. But it was like 15 minutes in. They're like, you're a natural at the waffle cone thing. And I'm like, you know, it kind of does it for me.

I kind of just pour it in there. But then my job from then on was I was always a pretty competitive goalie in ice hockey, as you two know. And so my summer job then was like this camp recruited me to be like a coach. And that was just my job for summers from then on out which was pretty awesome because there was something about being like you know when like you know if you're not a hockey player you don't know like the coach is out there with just skates the goalie coach is out there with just the lower body pads and then like a windbreaker and i always thought like at like 14 like oh those like those guys are so cool they're like and i'm like looking at a 17 year old at 14

like a grown-up and and then like when i got to be that guy i'm like and i'm like looking at a 17 year old at 14 like a grown-up and and then like when i got to be that guy i'm like damn i'm fucking tight like i'm teaching kids how to butterfly how to handle the puck and everything that was that was a great summer job it was fun i i coached a swim team in college in the springtime and uh it was taught at my collegiate pool like the kids would come and they'd say the thing. And it wasn't really like coaching. These kids were so young. It was a little past learn to swim, right?

You know, it's not like I'm training them up to become Olympians, but it was a big deal that my name was on the wall on the record board, like while I'm coaching them. There were a couple of us. If there were six coaches, like two or three of us were record holders at the school. And it just felt like that was the most bad-ass thing. Like when,

when he introduced us to the parents, he'd be like, do you see that Matt Woodward? That's the guy right there. Oh, you want to know my silliest summer job? Um, I think I watched Jeremiah Johnson or like one of those like old-timey like trapper movies

like about a wilderness survival man okay and i became like interested in traps like like like fur trapping yeah this sounds absurd like what year is it um and so like i found three this is literally like 1999 or 1998 and uh and like um one of the farmers nearby had this issue with um with beavers like going into like their corn or their wheat or whatever and i went and bought beaver traps and uh i literally like um trapped beaver for them for ten dollars a beaver yeah yeah yeah i trapped i look, I didn't make a living out of doing it or anything. How many did you get, do you think? I don't remember how many.

He's still a bit of a beaver aficionado if we're honest. And he still traps them in his own way. With threats. Kyle's pretending not to get our jokes, but I think he's with it. Trapping beavers is a very funny thing to do. Why beavers?

Was it just like that's the only thing they needed trapped? That's the only thing they needed trapped, and I don't really feel sorry for them. But I just remember they were like, I heard these farmers talking about how they had this beaver problem. And I was like, Dad, do they make traps for beavers? He's like, I don't know. And we went to Bass Pro Shop or something like that and asked. And they're like, Dad, do they make traps for beavers? He's like, I don't know. And we went to like Bass Pro Shop or something like that and asked. And they're like, yeah, yeah. And a beaver trap looks weird.

It's this weird, funky trap. It's not a square with a little door inside that falls behind them? Oh, no, it kills them. It's one of those. It's not a live trap. Is it like a bear trap? It's a little like a bear trap, but it's shaped very differently. I'm sure there's different kinds, but the one i had was like wonky but um but yeah i trapped

beaver for them at like ten dollars a head and i just remember like how awkward the negotiation was with this man because like let's see it was if it was like 1997 or 1998 or something i was like 12 you know 13 or something and i just remember approaching this farm. Yeah, there it is. That's literally it. I don't know about you, but as a 12-year-old, I looked at that and I was like, is somebody going to teach me how to use this? I need a lesson right

now. I need a lesson right now and I've used one before. It looks like maybe you pull it wider so it becomes kind of a cube. The part that's on top, you pull away of a cube and then yeah yeah maybe they trigger the two things hanging down the top is on parts on top you pull away from each other and then it expands the the springs on the side you just beat the beaver to death with it you definitely could but i remember that that that trap is like the end of the beaver when it steps in it pretty much

uh yeah so you didn't take them out and like release them. You're just showing up with like beavers in your hands. Like this is 10 here and 10 here. And there's some in my truck back there. I would show up every time I had a beaver and I'd be like, here you go, Doug, I got another one and he'd give me 10 bucks.

And, uh, and like that, that year I caught, I don't know how many beaver, but it was enough, you know, for like,

again, I was like 12, 13, 14, definitely wasn't even 14, probably 12 or 13. So like 10 bucks was a big deal. It was like, Oh, this is fucking candy money. We're going to make it rain. You know, it was a big fucking deal to get like 10 extra dollars on top of everything

else. Yeah. That was real money at that age. And I was kind of working for it. I don't know. It was kind of cool. And again, like, like I had gotten this whole idea from watching. If nobody out there has seen jeremiah johnson it's the meme that you've all seen where where like it zooms in on the the wilderness man and he just goes oh now i know yeah nod it's the nod it's it's the bearded wilderness man giving you the nod it's that meme you know it's it's there's this part at the end where uh you know he's been spending all winter learning to be a mountain man

and and uh the guy comes back that had seen him when he first started, when he was bad at it. And he's like, you've come a long way pilgrim. And he just goes, it feels like a long way. Cause it has been, it's been the hardest winter of his life. He's had to like scrape for every calorie he's eaten. Every, every, every little bit of warmth that has kept him alive. He's had to grind for it. He's had fires go out. He's scrambled in the creek for fish. I want to say that the Indian named him White Man Who's Bad at Fishing

or something like that. You hope that your Indian name is going to be like stand strong like bear or something like that or like or like wild man but he's like your name is weeping pussy they name him like bad fisher man or something like that because he's just like in the creek trying to like get the trout out like no jeremiah john great movie, and it inspired me as a 12-year-old to become a trapper for a while. You're like, I think, you know, they say history repeats itself.

We're about to enter another era of trapping as a primary source of income. Do you trap anything on our survival trip? Oh, that was so... I didn't mention it on the survival trip, but that's one of the many reasons why that survival trip was so humiliating. I've done this shit before. I'm not a wild wilderness man. I'm not a survivalist.

But I grew up out here. I've spent so much time in these woods. Way more than you would imagine. Josh and the 1% of you who are new fans, we did this trip where we went into the woods for a week or maybe five days with no food. And originally we were going to have very little supplies but we got a sponsor so we're out there with like knives and hammocks and like survival gear but no food um i caught two crawfish no one else wanted to eat them because they were smarter than me and uh we brought a live chicken that we ate on thursday but kyle was pretty confident there'd be no food shortages. I didn't see it happening. Cause like we were,

we were at the Mount Curry. He like wilderness area. If you've ever seen, um, a band of brothers, it's where they're running. It's the, it's the first episode where they're training,

you know, it's where Ross is training them to like be soldiers. And like, I had scouted this area and I don't mean I went out there once. I had been out there three times at least leading up to this. Squirrels everywhere, just bounding around, jumping everywhere. Did we see hog trails? I kind of recall you identifying a path.

We saw deer trails for sure. And I saw a bobcat. Like all the times I've spent in the woods, I've only ever seen one bobcat in my entire life in Georgia. And it was on that trip. It was crossing the dirt road in front of us one time when we were walking. But no, like nothing else. I'm with you.

Aside from like small birds, like a sparrow, I barely saw a living animal that whole trip. Yeah. And like every morning I'd get up and I would get in my truck and I would like drive way down the road. Like I had this idea that maybe our camp and the smoke or something was disturbing the wildlife. I get a few, I get a half a mile down the road, pull over, park, walk, you know, 100 yards into the woods. And I just sit there on a stump with my rifle and just wait and just look up and just not move. Like, I mean, I've hunted my whole life. I know what's up. Nothing.

Nothing. We'd have died. We'd have died. We would have lived 21 years. We'd have eaten chicken all day 28. 28 comes around, fucking chicken. I'm sorry. Where did you get the crawfish? Was it from one of those sewage creeks? You know what I'm talking about in Georgia.

It was one of those? Oh, yeah. No. It was a poor choice. Just eating human feces, subsisting on crap. I would rather eat human feces than the beaver shit. Look, I'm not a fucking survivalist. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but I picked the camping area, so all the blame is on me if it was bad or good or whatever but like it seemed like a really good area because a beaver had dammed up the creek and made this little area that was like a pond and when i had scouted this prior i swear to fucking god

i saw the a big catfish in that water i mean big yeah that's the area that's the top of mount kurahi you can see we were on that rock didn't we go to that we were we sat exactly where that man is sitting yeah it's it's beautiful you can go up there if anyone out there is in Toccoa Georgia um you know use your GPS get up there it's if you got a truck especially even like a little SUV or something will like easily make the drive it's it's a beautiful view um you know spray paint your name up there it's cool to go up there don't fall off don't be it sounds like spray painting is bad but it appears to be some sort of tradition where it's accepted you're just spray painting on top of the spray paint yeah

yeah it's a you know it's it's a cool little area uh it's a really nice view um uh i don't know i like i like it up there we weren't like on the mountain like camping or anything we were just in there's a big wilderness area that supports we go there at the end or on the way we did we did is that what was up yeah me you well we all went we all went up to the top of mount curahee and uh and and you know took some photos up there up on the precipice and all that stuff it's a cool place i agree yeah it's neat i kind of want to ride my motorcycle there now like i'm like i remember there being some dirt roads going to the views it's the kind of place we like to ride. Yeah. I don't know if it'd be worth the trip, but yeah, you could definitely go up there.

Josh, what'd you... Oh, go ahead, Woody. I want to know what you did before YouTube. Because you were 25-ish when you started YouTube. So you went to school, I guess. Were you mech-y? Did you get a job? Yeah.

So I have a mechanical engineering degree. And then I got a job doing that. And then that job was... you've seen the movie office space yeah maybe i have like three bosses love it get told that you're wrong three times when you mess up yeah it was like that i was like it was the most stereotypical corporate job that you could what did you make like how much money no no no no with the product uh it was uh silicon wafers basically just ssd chips oh okay so i don't know for some reason i thought it'd be more like uh i don't know freaking train door locks or something like that like a little but no okay so you made ssd chips as yeah just flash memory and i was in

charge of making sure the technicians are supposed to do whatever they're supposed to do. But they've been there for 10 years. And I'm just this new guy with a degree. And because of the degree, they put me above people who have been there that know better than me and expect me to tell them what to do. And I'm like, that's not going to happen. They're not going to respect me. They're prior Navy. I don't have that sort of rapport with them.

I'm going to let these dudes do what they're doing. But that was that job. I was a mechanical engineer. And then I didn't like having to come in to sit at like a cubicle farm just to do PowerPoints and Excel sheets. It's like if I'm going to do this, I want to do this at home. So I went and asked and they said, no, you can't do that. So I decided, all right, what other jobs are there out there that you can do at home? And when I did it, it was mostly programming at the time.

And I was like, yeah, I could probably do that. I played video games as a kid. That's how that works. I'm halfway there. I went to like a boot camp part time while I worked there. And then I moved to programming. And how long was the bootcamp? And did it prepare you for work? No, it was, uh, three months, but it was part-time like two days a week, um,

for like three hours at night. But it got you hired that next year degree. And then you somehow had to defeat imposter system syndrome and be an actual programmer yeah so i learned enough to be able to pass the code test pretty much that they gave me and there was a lot of imposter syndrome because i mean i don't know i definitely didn't feel qualified to be doing what i was doing but they never do be satisfied with what I was doing, but they seemed to be satisfied with what I was doing. But I had a lot of, I remember I had a lot of questions and there were some tasks that were totally unrelated to programming, which is really kind of the bitch work, so to speak, because I'm the junior dev. So I'm just doing the things like cutting and pasting different strings of text from Excel sheets to databases all day long.

And I don't know, it was all right. I like programming, if I'm programming fun things. But web dev, like healthcare application 3467, I don't particularly care about. But at the time, a job was a job. My goal was to work towards being remote. And those were pretty abundant at the time yeah i think i had that same job i did it for decades i web dev when i first started it which was like 97 or something was the leading edge coolest thing around like we were building the

internet e-commerce was new not not every company even did e-commerce and you know so when you added it to your company it was a big deal cisco was like the number every company even did e-commerce and you know so when you added it to your company it was a big deal cisco was like the number two company in the planet in terms of revenue when i started there in their e-commerce and uh but over time it went from like the shiniest coolest gig around to not the shiniest cool you know now web dev is not like the the shining star it was in the dot com day it's seen as an outsourceable cheap kind of thing that they can just we don't need to hire someone for that let's just pay someone overseas really cheap to get it done and that's all we'll need it for and we should be good to go and that's uh kind of where it's at unless you're working at

like a super large company here in the u.s yeah or someplace where the website is really important to them you know like amazon where is if you're pepsi i bet they outsource that shit the fessy's not about their website was it working at that office space style place that inspired a lot of your content here kind of analyzing and critiquing corporate structures and you know corporate thought oh everything that i've poked at in my uh on my channel i've experienced like literally all the things in such a short amount of time i don't know if it was just luck or what but it it almost seemed like every single job had some sort of ridiculous i don't know gotcha to it that i was like this can't be like i heard about it from my dad growing up he worked that kind of corporate job had a boss that got paid to do nothing but told him what to do all the hard stuff and got paid way more and so

like you tell me about how corporate works and like they don't care about you and stuff and i'd be like ah you're just complaining dad had a hard day like, then I got to that age and I was like, they don't care about you at all. Like, like this. Yeah. It, it all came together. So I've had projects where I worked overtime for like three months in a row, nine months in a row, like a long time. And at the end of it, you get like a three or low four digit bonus. And it's

like, what does that work out to hourly? Right. I stayed here until 9 PM is a minimum for the last seven months. And you're giving me $750 bonus. It doesn't cover your dinners. You had to order in like, good God, you know, like, like, and you know, sometimes it would come around promotion time, but you never felt like, Oh, did I get hooked up? Did I get to, this is sweet. This is a company that really values what I just put in. No, it's like your bonus is shit, but your raise is like 3% more. And over lifetime, you know, that kind of accumulates into something, but it, it's just never good. It's always the least they can give you. And it sucks.

But a lot of your content for people that are on your channel is like roasting companies for being assholes. I watched one, the Meditech one. I don't know if you remember that one in particular. They wanted everyone to come back to work for laptop bags and ice cream. They had a dorky corporate video they made about it i've made dorky corporate videos kyle you did um but yeah that's so cringy oh i'm glad i haven't ever had to do that like like like like that's so soul soul sucking yeah you know like like like that like what you just said like coming back in for ice cream and a bag like you're a grown-ass man

you're you have you have fucking children you have a wife yeah every minute you spend with them is precious like like like like and precious. And they're buying those minutes with ice cream. I've always detested pizza and ice cream. To the company, it's a morale builder, right? They're like, look, we just laid out $72 in pizza for you guys. I hope you appreciate this. For me, it's like, look, you're not moving my due dates. You're not helping me in any way. You're just forcing me to waste this time at work. This is just overtime.

I've had a related thing where they're like, what are you? Fourth of July weekend is about to kick off. Why don't you go home early? Oh, yeah? So we're going to push my due date off, right? No, no, no. So what am I making of this? You're not helping me at all.

You're acting like this is an afternoon off in a way. But it's only an afternoon off if we move the deadline. If you want me to come in and take time away from my family or whatever, you better make it worth my while. If they were like, oh, we're going to have – he's on my mind right now because he just passed away. Norm MacDonald is going to come in. He's going to do an hour of stand-up for the whole fucking company. We're going to come in.

We're going to do an hour of stand-up with Norm MacDonald and do a meet and greet for 30 minutes afterwards. All right. Can I bring my wife? Oh, yeah. Open bar too. All right. You've got me now. You've got me now.

You guys just spent $100,000. but a pizza fucking party what is this high school what is this fucking high school can i have two slices oh no yeah it's like the same reward you get for doing well on your spelling test when you're 11 exactly have you ever um been forced to do well not forced but pretty much peer pressured into doing team building activities in like the middle of the day uh while you have stuff to do and if you go and you spend that time there to be part of the team be a team player whatever you you miss out on time for your deadlines so if you don't go you're punished if you do go you're punished and that's yes and so much of those like you're not even doing it for

the only like i remember when i worked at enterprise right out of college they would do this shit where it'd be like oh you need to do all these callbacks and all this busy work and you might have to stay a little extra but i want you to come back with the manager and role play a couple scenarios with another employee and it's like i can't say no because then I'll be on this guy's shit list. And if I say yes, I'm like, just like signing off, like, yep,

you, you pull me in here anytime you want. And I'll just, I'll, I'll have to stay late. I'm already working a nine to nine. What's a nine to 10. You know,

like it's just fucking infuriating. Typically I build in time for shit. Like, like my happy place in project management is ahead of schedule and kind of not killing myself. That's where, where I usually spend my time. So if they inject something like a ropes course,

which is like a real example, then, uh, then, you know, we're all okay there. But I, I kind of like some of those things a little bit,

like, you know, the pizza and ice cream, I freaking hated. It wasn't worth my time but if we're not going to the office that day if we're doing an outdoor activity trip it's like work is a three out of ten if you slip in a six out of ten on me that's a good day you know i can see that for sure i can see that that for sure. Again, the only real job,

corporate-ish job I've worked was working with AutoNation, selling cars. There was a day when they brought in the hot shot salesman to teach us what's what. The guy who had sold so much that now he made more money teaching people how to sell.

I'm always like... All the best salesmen teach people how to sell. It's like, dude, if you are actually selling 30 cars a month, then what must they be paying you to show up here today? If they're not paying you $50,000 to come talk to us today,

then you are wasting your time because you're a guy who's literally telling us that you make $3,000 to $5,000 a day. You make $3,000 to $5, then you are wasting your time because you're a guy who's literally telling us that you make three to $5,000 a day. Like you make three to $5,000 a day selling fucking cars with no overtax, no overhead. You don't own that desk. You just, you can come into any dealership, sit down at their desk, sell their fucking stuff. All you need is your suit and tie and you can make three to five grand a day.

But you're here talking to us, teaching us a mnemonic device. It's just like that episode of The Office where Michael Scott is teaching the mnemonic devices to remember customers' names. He did that. And I'm just like, bro. Just remember their name. I've got a planner. I've got a planner on my desk. I've got one of those big calendars that is your whole desk. I've got everybody's names written down. I've got one of those big calendars that like is your whole desk you know it's okay i've got everybody's names written down like like i've got a book with like i i was organized right i i call i i'm every day i have my calls to make and i'm calling these hey barbara how's mike doing look we can't we talked about that honda pilot last month i know that didn't work out we got a brand new one in and it's you know like this like this one has fewer miles. This one's a different color.

Like maybe you want to come take a look. I'm doing that every day. He's just, you're just wasting my time, but there was Popeye's after. So I wasn't too mad. That was enough to keep, we were young enough. Popeye's was all it took at 19 free Popeye's was enough at night. But like there were 40, 45. I always thought. He's now a Chick-fil-A man, he's advanced since then. Yeah.

We're way above. It was free Popeyes. And it was like, but like back then it would be like, again, I was 19 with like, I got no family. My rent was like,

I was in a three bedroom apartment with like two other guys. And my, my share of the rent was like $350 or something like that. My car payment was $380. So as long as I can come up with like $800 a month, like I'm golden and like, that's pretty easy selling cars. If you're decent at it,

like, like I don't want to brag, but I was pretty fucking good at it. Like I made a lot of money. Like when, as long as I was mentally sound, like I had went through a breakout breakup and that was, but,

but like when I, when I was killing it, I was making thousands and thousands of dollars a month. You sold for a new Ford's used everything. And that's where you made money. Like, like I didn't want to sell a new Ford fucking Mustang or something like that.

You'd end up making like a hundred, $200, but you could sell like a used F one 50 excursion, Volvo, Nissan. And you could literally make like three to $4,000 on one car. You know, there's, there's so much. Yeah. My cut. Yeah. My cut. Like I sold an excursion once and made like upwards of $2,000 on the,

on that one car deal. Because I was like, when someone would come in to buy an excursion, buy that used excursion, I had two different customers looking at it. And one of them I told, Oh, I take the bat. I took it. And one of them I told, um, Oh, I take the bat. I took it in on trade and then I sold it. So when I took it in on trade, I was like, look, sir, they don't make these anymore for a reason. Gas, hurricane Katrina just happened. Gasoline is four to $5 a gallon.

You know what kind of gas mileage this thing gets. It's getting eight to 10 miles a gallon. and we're in the city right that's that you know i can only later that day you can't get these anymore this is this is then i'm selling opportunity then i'm selling it and i'm like same same pitch just different just different uh tone they don't make these. This is the largest SUV a man has ever even fucking conceived of. Look at that. Did you know that you can park a small car in the back of an excursion SUV?

You actually can't. It's that fucking big. It's the largest SUV ever made. My brother had one for ages. A diesel one. Absurd. Yeah, this was a gasoline one. They came in, they came with the diesel and the gasoline. You probably want the diesel because I think the gasoline was a, I want to say a V10, but that's probably wrong. It's been so long. In any case, it was like, this is the gasoline one too. You don't have to be smelling like diesel

as if you would smell like diesel because you put diesel in your excursion, right? You don't smell like gasoline. I took it in so low and sold it so high it was at like a twelve thousand dollar profit and so like i get like a high percentage of that i don't remember how many cars i sold that month but it was at least 20 and maybe 25 plus percentage uh on twelve thousand dollars which is pretty fucking good so two two at least two thousand maybe twenty five to twenty six hundred dollars profit that i got from selling a lot of jobs like yeah it's like when you when you get one of those you fucking you're fucking popping the champagne as a 19 year old you're just like looking at everybody like who's the man i'm the

man you're like everybody's like yo you saw the excursion i'm like yep not you knocked the fucking head off clean off motherfucker clean off it's over there in the bathroom right now you want to go play soccer because their head is gone you know you're so happy bad car so i'm looking to buy a car i'm young call me 18 or 17 or something like that and uh i was like i don't know. Like I'm at a Dodge dealership. So I'm like, I'm thinking about like either a new neon or a used Stratus. And he's like, huh? What? Like those cars don't compete with each other.

And in my head, I'm like, they're the same price. A new neon and a used Dodge Stratus go for about the same amount. And he made me feel stupid. Like I was wrong in what I was looking at. I didn't know what I was doing. And I still look, every car that's the same price competes with each other. I suck a dick. That's how life works. Don't tell me they're like different categories. They're $15,000 category. That's the category that they're in. And I walked away i didn't buy it but i look back and like you just suck at your job why would you make your customer

feel dumb like that he's trying to buy from you so josh i'm looking at your your more business oriented videos is is it more practices like general business practices you think are shitty that get to you or they're like select companies that just really get your goat and every time you're thinking about you're like i need to make another fucking monsanto video or yes sometimes like yesterday i think i made another meditech video because they basically have written in their company handbook it says we don't have a two-week uh resignation policy you don't have to give us a letter we'll just basically decide if we like you or not when you give it to us or we'll just fire you it's up to us and it just blatantly says that and it also says we remain disappointed in people who refuse to tell

us where they're going when they quit and um we wish they would trust us or something and it's like why no one's gonna no one's gonna tell you where they're going when they get a new job especially if it's a competitor yeah just lie i'm joining the taliban like but there are certain things that companies just put into handbooks or policies that i guess people maybe just like they just overlook it but like when you really sit and think about you're like wait this how is this illegal like it's legal because you agreed to it like that's that's pretty much it like um a lot of companies that make you install webcams at home while you're working remotely there was one company that it's called teleperformance i think they wanted you to install a webcam in your house yeah you had to agree to take polygraph tests if they asked you to,

and you had to agree to let it run all day. So you had to sign a consent form. If you had kids that would let them also record your kids in the background, like just really weird things is a customer service company. So like when you call your, I don't know one of your bills and you get to some customer service agent, you get to that guy and he's being watched and it sends screenshots of your. They should be able to monitor you. It's fucking dystopian.

Yeah, but they can pull the dystopian thing off with more subtlety, right? Not filming your children. Yeah, right. Like the camera. And we all know the cameras usually have a little light that, you know, that indicate something about that light makes you nervous. Like, you know, you're being watched. It's a thing. That light's supposed to be off.

That's your happy place. But they can monitor your keystrokes. They can monitor your web activity. They can like Cisco, I'm sure, did all that shit. Now, there was so much of it. I don't know how closely they watched. Every time I logged into a Linux machine, it was like you were being observed. By doing this, there was a whole page of shit that just like was part of your login script

warning you not to be an asshole on that machine. But yeah, it's like all your stuff is logged. All your emails, those aren't your emails. You don't have any privacy in your work emails. Those are corporate property that they can read anytime they want. I don't know why they had to have your camera on to accomplish their goal that's yeah that makes it so much weird like what is somebody else going to sneak on and answer the calls on their behalf like what what is the fee it's it's some fucking pedophile who works there what every employee wants it's just to be measured by their productivity right you know if it's

customer service company yeah look at my survey results. Look at how many, how many cases am I handling, what those cases are and what my customers think of my performance. You should be able to look at those things and decide whether I'm awesome or not. You don't have to watch me do it via webcam. Yeah. Generally like in the way it's always worked places where I've been is like, Oh that thing we told you to do done yes i finished it okay like or is that thing we told you to do done no it's actually not well that's kind of a problem because we told you we need a bubble like that that's all you really need if anything like it would make you worse at your job i feel like to be like do i really need to i got sent a an unfamiliar acronym in an email and if I search this am I

going to look like a retard to the people monitoring you know well you need to check your TPS reports TPS what the fuck does that mean okay oh this guy's an idiot he doesn't even know what that is they have these things that check keywords so if you type like new job like if you're at work and your friends like hey I need a new job in here and you open up indeed red flag number one gets automatically sent to manager you start typing anything about the word job more money like those phrases are tagged for them to get automatically reported to your manager to check out what you're doing and because it logs your keystrokes if you did any personal business they now have your passwords if you type them in. So like you check your bank account because you're about to pay a bill or something.

Now they have your login and they know your balance and they know, you know, like HIPAA violations because they can see medical records if you pulled those up and stuff like that. It's like when they overreach, when they try to make a job more than what it is, like when call you company family that's a big one that is so bizarre you know welcome we appreciate you we value you we're going to take care of you and then you do one little thing wrong or get a budget cut they're like yeah sorry bye yeah who are you again talk to hr like the way that i accept love from my employer is via cash. Right. That's how I feel valued. Everything else is silliness. I accept cash. Yeah. Yeah.

That's one of the, again, going back to like when I sold cars Saturday morning, right. We all get there early. 8. A.m. We go into,

we had like a playground inside the dealership. We had a big dealership. There was a playground inside for kids, for kids.m. We go into, we had like a playground inside the dealership. We had a big dealership. There was a playground inside. For kids? For kids. Okay. That way your kids have something to do while you're, you know, getting your head knocked off. Indoor playground with like slides and ball pit and all that shit. We go in there. That's where we have our meetings.

And, because there's, I don't know why. So you're on a ladybug on a spring just attending your meetings honestly yeah you literally are like you know like like 15 grown-ass men uh wearing suits and ties sitting around on like like like little baby chairs and shit just chilling in there because it's also like there's a door so we can speak in private even if there's a customer out there who got there early like he can't hear what's going on. This is a private meeting. I don't want anybody to hear this.

And CJ would come out. CJ was 28 years old, black guy. They had given him the reins of the Atlanta fucking Alpharetta dealership. It's a big deal. It's a big deal for a 28-year-old young black man. And he's not going to let it slip through his fingers. And he's fucking fire. He's pumping us up.

slipped through his fingers and he's fucking fire he's pumping us up he's like anybody sells an old age unit which is a unit that's been on the lot for like 90 days let's say you know it's a car we haven't been able to get rid of yet hundred dollars anybody that that sells two cars today two hundred dollar bonus you sell three cars three hundred dollar bonus you sell four cars eight hundred dollar bonus just when i thought i understood the pattern yeah just bonus. You sell three cars, $300 bonus. You sell four cars, $800 bonus. Just when I thought I understood the pattern. There's no pattern. Five cars, $200,000. I was going to go

the other way. You sell four cars, $800. You sell five cars, $700. And we're writing this down. We're going to hold him to his word, right? And he's just like... And then he'll start throwing money. He'll literally start throwing money at us. He's got $500 on him.

He's just like, we're going to make some money today, aren't we? We're going to make some fucking money today. Who's going to make some money? Kyle, you going to make some fucking money? I'm already making money. Kyle's going to knock somebody's fucking head off today, aren't you, Kyle? You're going to sell another fucking excursion, aren't you, Kyle?

Like boxing out the weaker salesman? Yeah. He's throwing fistfuls of ones at us. This is why women make less in the workplace. There's a money wrestling match. They don't have to reach. There was a woman who worked there named Katrina. Hurricane Katrina just had happened.

She filed some kind of sexual harassment shit, which was not legit, by the way. It's not always legit. This one was not. Nope. I don't know who she was going after, but this was bullshit. Anyway, it was always like that. There were all these weird bonuses.

You sell this many, you get this. You sell two of this, you get that. It was like, oh shit, let's write this fucking shit down. Let's try to knock out some of these bonuses because there's a big marker board that they're like writing like you know kyle sold xyz and you know we're keeping track of this as the day goes on and trying to hit these bonuses and if you're like this close to like a crazy bonus you're gonna work super hard you're gonna do whatever you can you're gonna fucking wheel and

deal and try to make shit happen it was fun i mean there's been times where like buying a car yourself might actually make sense like there were bonuses that were like that it was like it was like dude the guy has 19 cars sold for the month at 20 cars he goes from making like 24 to making like% on every other car he sold. Like, like, like grandfathered in. I mean, he can resell that bitch.

That thing about buying at the end of the month and getting better deals cut. Everyone I talked to says that's real. Like a lot of times they are very close to a quota or something. There's lots of quotas and the salesmen have quotas. The managers have quotas. The general manner managers have quotas and Ford motor company has quotas. And the salesmen have quotas. The managers have quotas. The general managers have quotas. And Ford Motor Company has quotas. And if you can ever weasel your way into getting lucky,

and it's like, if this dealership as a whole sells one or two more cars this month, they make an extra $35,000. If they're at like 398 cars and 400 is this huge ass fucking bonus, it's a big deal. It's a big fucking deal.

I saw it happen. I've had customers where it happened to them. I told them, I was like, we're going to get you a good deal today because we need to sell a couple more cars. We're getting off. Just hang in here. We're getting off. Just hang in here.

We're going to get you a fucking car. This is happening. This is happening. I promise. Deals suck right now because of the chip shortage and apparently inventory is short everywhere. Friend of a friend has a Subaru dealership with zero cars on it right now.

Not a car at a Subaru dealership. What do they do? do just say we'll order it online and when it gets here come back and look at your potential new car that's a good strategy i don't know how they just can't get any inventory they're out yeah yeah i mean it happens it definitely happens um but but yeah that's a chip thing the happening right now. The silicon, you know, the whole thing with Chinese. I looked into, like, why is there a shortage on everything right now? I need a new visor for my motorcycle helmet. Can't

buy it. Can't buy it. I found one in Germany to ship over here. Lame. Frustrating. I bought an extra for one of mine. I'm sorry. I wish I had. I couldn't get a pin lock. Anyway, so there's like a bunch of reasons. One is the COVID shortage. Like that evergreen thing had apparently like waves of trouble that reverberated for like six months.

The Texas power outage had petroleum shortages that impacted plastics that lasted like six months uh maybe you've heard that one it just seems like if only half of this is covid why is it so bad what all these other things seem like things that just happen from time to time you know like i i don't know i'm frustrated with shortages lately normally my whole life the way you buy things is you look at what you're willing what you want and balance that against what you would like to pay and find something that fits. Now it's what you can get is a big part of that equation. You want to buy a tent? 75% of the ones I considered were out of stock that's the nature of tents right now and helmet shields and whatever the shortages are wild wild in england they're saying the food shortage is just the new

way of life get used to it food shortage goodness yeah it's not as not like they're going hungry but just like certain brands or whatever will just be completely out of stock. There'll be a bare part of the grocery shelf. And it's like, damn, like that's, that's not usually what happens in capitalistic countries. In the first world, at least.

Yeah. You know, we're, we're really used to having plenty. Um, I don't know. I'll be glad when this COVID thing is over. I ordered,

I ordered a COVID test the other day. It arrived yesterday. I'm going to like do it tonight and mail it in tomorrow. How do you do it? I didn't look too much into it, but I did notice there's a vial, which I think is for spit. And there's a long swab, which I think I'm going to have to shove way up there, Morty, up my nose. And I think that I'll be able to know if I had COVID. I'm feeling much better now.

I'm three quarters of the way through my bottle of antibiotics. And obviously I gave myself that shot in the ass. And I still have nasal congestion, but the sore throat has been long gone. The strep is long gone. It was awful. Like if I hadn't gotten treatment, I don't know what would have happened. I don't know if you ever are actually able to fight off strep. It's so bad. That was one of those things. It's like, if you don't cure it with the antibiotics, that's it. You just die. Yeah. It goes to your heart, I think.

I've had the same experience as you, Kyle, where I had strep. I didn't recognize it as a serious problem. Soon enough, I let it get way too bad. Then when I got on antibiotics, helped me surprisingly fast. Like four hours later, I felt so much better. I've talked get way too bad. Then when I got on antibiotics helped me surprisingly fast, like four hours later, I felt so much better. I've talked. And then like you, the respiratory, like I'm kind of healthy except for this respiratory thing, which just takes three weeks to clear up for some reason. Yeah. Yeah. It's bad. It's a right now it's literally just nasal congestion. I don't have a cough anymore. Nothing else. I hope that I did have COVID because the more I read about the COVID-19 antibodies

because we had this question in the Discord the other day as to whether it's better to have had COVID or to have had the vaccine. And it's sort of a mixed bag. Something about B cells. It's over my head. But something about initially the vaccine is better. But on the long term, having had it, your body gets better at defending over time. But the vaccine gets less effective over time.

You know what I mean? So having both, you would, you would imagine that you'll never get it again. So I'm really hoping that I had it last week. Yeah. This is just a thing that's over for me. And I'm not a virologist or an epidemiologist. It just makes sense to me that having the vaccine and the disease itself

kind of your immune system is fully trained up. They see COVID come in again they're like oh you again yeah it's like that scene from goodfellas it's like that scene from goodfellas when like uh tommy comes back about you know the guy's like get your fucking shine box he's like keep him here keep him here and he fucking shows back up later and they just stomp him to death they've got him in the trunk of the car with the butcher knife and everything. That's how my immune system is going to treat COVID at this point. Again, don't take your medical advice from a comedy podcast.

But if I were to get a booster shot, now I had Moderna. It's like, does it make sense to get the Pfizer booster just to cover all my bases? You know, they're saying the booster shot isn't required anymore. They're being wishy-washy about that now, saying maybe you don't need a booster shot. I've heard that too. And I've heard that only old people need booster shots. And now I'm like, are we saying this because it's better for old people or because of availability? We originally said don't wear a mask, but we were lying to you because of availability.

Then we said do wear a mask. And that's because we have more masks available. We wanted you to wear them all along, but we just lied to you in the very beginning. And you originally asked, is it better to have the disease or to have the vaccine? And I'm like, can you get a nonpolitical answer to that? Even the scientists, it's so woven in there and even the studies i i feel like i can't get an answer that is free of a political smear or even if it is free i'm not qualified to tell if it's free yeah no i feel you're absolutely 100 right it's uh, and this has never been a thing in my lifetime where, where,

where things are like that. Oh, hard to get data. Yeah. Hard to get data. I mean, of course, like gun control or something like that.

Yeah. But, but like something medical based. Right. And I also read some, something where they're going to like couple, like the flu vaccine and the COVID vaccine and even something else. I can't remember the third thing,

but like, I know Moderna is looking to combine those two. So if you get a flu shot in like 2022, then you might get the COVID in the same syringe, which would be pretty cool. Agreed. Agreed 100%. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. I'm glad I got the vaccine. Me too. I got the Pfizer vaccine. That's all that was available in Georgia. I think I actually signed up for Moderna,

but it wasn't an option. At the time, I preferred Pfizer because it was three weeks for the second one. I wanted to be fixed. I wanted to open the door to travel and fun. Whereas the Moderna, it was four weeks to get

the booster and then 10 days after that, you're mostly vaccinated so i was like i'd rather not wait the extra 17 days or extra seven i guess but um i got the moderna because that's what i could get for sure yeah i uh i don't know i don't know if this is ever going to be over at this point like like like i i go on that herman cain award uh subreddit all the time it's so fucking great I gotta say I will say this it's a very leftist subreddit unfortunately

because sometimes I see them for those who don't know what they'll do is they'll post traditionally what they'll post and the things I like they'll post that fat white guy with the goatee and he's just like y'all are a bunch of he'll post that meme where it's like a bunch of sheep with masks on and then a bunch of lions with no mask on right because that's him he's an alpha male right meanwhile he's a man in the pride meanwhile he's 120 pounds overweight. That just proves how well he catches prey.

Dude, he already is hardly slowed down by obesity and diabetes. You think obesity can stop me? Diabetes can't stop. I just need a peg leg now. With this beard, you can't tell how many chins I have. Exactly. That is the ultimate beard thing. That is the ultimate beard thing. At this point, I'm too afraid to see how many chins I've accumulated.

You know what I mean? I mean, you've never had your beard grown out, which is a damn shame. Kyle, you never have either. Oh, it's a mess when I grow it out. I know that I've done it before, and it ruins my week. Where I'm just like, you're so much fatter than you thought you were. One of my one of my like emotes on my Twitch channel is wings when he's fully shaven. I was going to use it as my card protector because when you're playing poker, I stream a lot of poker and like I need to like cover my hand. So the people I'm playing with can't potentially look at it. i was gonna put wings big bald head like over the cards but someone made me

a better card protector anyway but no getting back to oh the people might one guy complained and i called him a a word that i'm not supposed to use on twitch because i was angry um but it's just like look it's either delay of sticks yeah and you're either gonna delete it's two things if you're streaming poker on Twitch. You're either going to have a delay, in which case I can't interact with chat. And I interact with chat a lot. Because poker is slow. And there's a lot of hands I'm not even playing.

Or I cover the fucking cards up. And I show them to you after the hand is done. And there's a little suspense built. It's one or the other. How do you show them? I have a hotkey so I just make a scene. Oh, you switch to one that shows it. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. I just make a scene where I insert a scene that's an

image file and it's perfect. It looks exactly like the cards look, but it says blocked at the bottom and I just have a hotkey. I want to ask you about the wild money that's been getting thrown around in the poker games, but we're going to hear from a couple key. So I want to, I want to ask you about like the wild money that's been getting thrown around in the poker games, but we're going to hear from a couple of sponsors. Please go ahead.

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Those links are below. Check out those companies if they're interesting to you. But Kyle, it's been like five or six days or something since you sent me and Woody that text being like, dude, someone's down $8,000 in the Discord poker game. What the fuck? So we started out playing $5 tournaments where everybody put in $5. And we do kind of a winner take a take all thing things have progressed um so yeah a gentleman lost eight thousand dollars the other night and um fuck uh it's not the first time he's lost a bunch of money um he's the very wealthy individual he's a very wealthy individual I'm not trying to talk shit

against him your story's just starting and Josh has to go oh okay okay okay yeah yeah yeah we really appreciate having you on he's been great I feel you seem like the kindest guy to put up with all of this bullshit and still not even be that jaded by it I want to be your friend but I really

want to be your family yeah it's a profitable position to be now here you're not wrong i mean i've calculated it all out i probably could have paid like a couple senior software engineers to make some revolutionary app with everything that i've given but i don't know it's just you can get your money back right but relationships and trust that's one of those things that's takes way more time than it does to get money back. My father would tell you that life-serious problems are emotional and medical. Everything else money can solve.

And I'm listening to you being like, yeah, the money is the emotional side. That's irreparable. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Thank you so much for coming on man hey thanks for having me can you uh can you plug your channel anything else you want to pimp yeah sure so if you are tired of corporate nonsense come on over to my channel i am happy to poke holes in everything

that they've told you about company family and um if you want to I say the things that you can't say when you go to work, basically that's my channel. So there you go. And if you roast the company hard enough, sometimes they get better. It's a force for good. I'd like to think it is. I know sometimes it's just ranting, but sometimes, sometimes they do listen, even though they're pissed off at me about it and they remove it just because they're mad.

Bastards. Yeah. But thanks guys. guys yeah thank you for coming on we gotta do it thanks for coming on man i enjoyed you yeah man yeah thanks guys take care yeah good night good night so the gentleman is eight thousand dollars down apparently not even well i mean that was just for one night you know like like there was another night where he lost like several more thousand dollars i don't know what, three, five thousand dollars or something like that. Yeah, the poker game is really big in the $50 Discord.

If you want to play, you can join the $50 Discord. They play almost every night. They're playing right now. You can get in. Yeah, Kyle plays a lot. You'll probably actually spend real time with him. You might actually lose money to Kyle. It's a thing we offer.

It's a thing we offer here. I'll take your money. i'll take your money um we call it a $50 discord but for some people it's a $2,000 discord for some people it's a like a used camry down yeah yeah yeah they're i mean they're playing right now and it's hundreds of dollars are in the pot usually they play like like, uh, for those who play poker, like 25 cent, 50 cent or 50 cent, $1 or even $1, $2.

But like every, maybe one night a week, they'll play like two, five, and that'll progress into five, 10 and five, 10 is insane. Five, 10 is insane.

I want to talk about my experience playing. So I'm, I'm hanging. Sometimes I hang out with the poker players and, and I, it's, it's interesting to watch. And,

uh, you know, cause I'm a host. They're always happy to have me or whatever. I'm hanging out. poker players and it's, it's interesting to watch. And, uh, you know, cause I'm a host, they're always happy to have me or whatever I'm hanging out. And, um, someone fronted me $50 to join the game. And at first I felt like I played pretty well at first, a combo of playing well and just catching some good cards. You know, you can't win with a bad hand or it's hard to win with a bad hand. I had some good hands and, can't win with a bad hand or it's hard to win with a bad hand. I had some good hands. But I also kind of...

Is it called slow rolling when you don't just immediately raise $16? That's when you show your card slowly, isn't it? Yeah, that's a different thing. What is it called when you just sort of like... I felt like I extracted all the money I could have out of the other players. Is there a term for that?

Just play well, I guess. Okay. Well, I felt like I made some good decisions on not like making people think I had a strong hand and getting them to do the raising. And I thought I did well. Maybe I didn't, but I thought it went well. And then what happened is I got a bunch of hands in a row

that were neither awful or good. It was like, Oh, uh, a Jack and a five. Well, that's a fixer upper, you know, like, let's see what comes down the, what the first three cards are. And that I, that concept of like, Ooh, a 10 and a four, this is a fixer upper. Let's see what else we get. If we have a pair of tens, maybe I want to play a little bit. It's stupid. What would happen is I'd stay in the hand long enough to be in there for like $7 or something. And then once the cards were laid down, it costs like $13 to stay in the hand to the end

and have a chance. So I'd fold. And I just kept folding, giving away more money than I had to. I should have folded earlier. And good players know they fold most of the time. And I, I felt like I wasn't letting math drive my decisions. At the very basic level,

you look at how many cards you think it will take to win. And each card has about a 2% chance of coming. So you're like, ah, you know, if either this or this hits, it gives about a two percent chance of coming so you're like yeah you know if either this or this hits it gives me a four percent chance probably a bad decision to stick in this hoping that i'm going to catch this anyway so i i'm not great at this math but i understand that a little and even i wasn't being smart based on what i understood i feel like i was getting

bullied like they're getting me in there for $5 and then they're making me spend $13 to get a chance to win at the end so I fold and that happened enough that I was like fuck it I'm standing up for myself I'm gonna bully them I'm going to be the guy that like puts my last $23 in there

I bought in for $200,000 so they took it all and I was like fuck I guess in for $200,000. So they took it all. And I was like, fuck. I guess in my head, what I thought I would do when playing was the math. And when I look at the best players, the math really drives their decisions. And I quickly went into this like, well, shit, I'm getting pulled in. I'm getting pushed around around i'm standing up for myself these are not the thought processes of a winning poker player and uh i i don't know i just

walked away i sort of pondered on it after the game and stuff i was like you're smarter than you played if that can be a thing or you know you're you can be smarter than what you did like you feel like you got emotional. For sure. I didn't just, you know, like other players, there's one guy who has a, like a little matrix of like,

if he gets this, this is what his initial bets will be. And he's just, that's so math driven. I, on the other hand, thinking along the lines of like fixer uppers and who's pushing me around stupid, stupid, stupid. Those.

So I like to think that I learned from it, that I would be better hypothetically if I ever played again. But I think it's interesting that I wasn't as good as I knew to be. Yeah, it's very math driven to some extent. You know, like like there's uh there's range charts that people use based on position uh and uh there's there's a couple different ways to play the game uh where you're where they're playing what is a range chart uh it's a range of hands that you uh that you will or will not play and uh depending on your position in the table um as far as uh you know where the blinds are and it's just like you get your opening

two cards those opening two cards might be worth playing at the start and not worth playing at the end and uh they'll raise a lot if those opening two cards are extra good that's what this range chart is just so that they're your initial bet it's just yeah it's not even a math decision you could program it to do that. Sure. Your opens, I suppose you could program. It's kind of after the flop where things get a little bit more difficult. It's a fun game. I like poker.

I think I'm even for the week. One night I'll win $300. The next night I'll lose $300. It's kind of been up and down. I'm always confused by hands where i'll watch sometimes on the discord not playing and i'll see someone you know on their stream that everybody's like honor system not watching it'll be like a king and a jack and i'm like oh those are like two really high cards that's a good hand and then fold because they're like well no they're not

right next to each other and so the chance of a straight is blah blah blah blah and then someone else will get like a four or five and they keep it like so that that's confusing to me that most depends on the player right you know like some of them are just bad like some of those guys in there are just really bad at poker and they're just like yeah i feel like playing a three and i ate you know and like that's a fixer-upper and sometimes the plot will come three eight eight you know it there is some chance built into the game. But I don't know. It's been a lot of fun. Would you rather have a 4-5 or a King-Jack?

Or neither one? I would rather have the King-Jack. If we're heads up, I'd rather have the King-Jack. That's a good point too. Because they have to improve. The 4-5 is a good hand too though. It's a really good drawing hand, especially if it's suited. It's called a suited connector when you have a hand like that, cause it's really good at drawing it straight.

So it's really good at drawing at a flushes. And, uh, if you were to open as it's, it's, it's called, which is like when you raise preflop, you know, let's say the blinds are $1, $2 and you make it $7 to go. So everybody has to call your $7. They might not be putting in you on a four and a five. So they probably wouldn't think you on a four and a five so that they probably wouldn't think you have a four and a five they might think you have like a small pocket pair or Some over cards like maybe you've got an ace and a queen or an ace and a jack or something like that

I don't know. There's a lot of ways to play the game. I I'm definitely not the best those guys those guys have a good time in there though It's it's when they play when they were playing 510. I'm just watching i'm not playing in that game that's that's ridiculous you need a thousand dollars just to sit down how many people are playing in those is the table full in those no the table's not full when they're playing um that high of a stakes it's usually like five guys or something like that but when we play like one two like the table does dirty play in those yeah yeah dirty one a lot of money dirty's a very good player he tends to win more than he loses and uh yeah dirty three thousand dollars that night he uh yeah for him yeah a big part of it is maximizing what that hand could have

done right yeah and i used too many words in the beginning there were a couple hands where i thought i did that where i thought that you know if you gave those hands to Dirty, he wouldn't have won more than me, I think, I hope. But then I played stupid. Anyway, Dirty often plays smart. He makes good math decisions, and if he is a known winner, it would be dumb to just go all in and get you to stop betting. Instead, he'll make you underestimate

what he has and anyway poker is one of those games that like i'll fantasize about being very good at because i'm like man being good at poker is like cool i'm and i'll like i'll wear sunglasses and fucking something and i'll be upside down yeah upside down. Yeah, upside down sunglasses. They won't know I'm just crazy. Marcel Lusk does that. He would wear sunglasses upside down. I've never put any time into poker. It's just Texas Hold'em you guys play, right? Yeah. No variations? No.

I enjoy playing, but I think I would still be having guilt about losing $50 for some reason if I hadn't been fronted the money like that would sit on me and it I went up 77 in like we'll call it 20 minutes I went up 27 to 77 and uh I was like everything in me wants to just pull out and call myself a lifetime winner but I didn't front me 50 bucks to play for 15 minutes and let me walk away with it all that would be so funny you walk away with 47 dollars that was a question too like who gets the winnings out of this you get the winnings

okay but let's do this you give me 50 bucks i run it up to 77 and get out. I made more money off of your donation than I did off of my poker. It is a question, yeah. I think somebody's done that for Taylor before as well. Like fronted him a buy-in or whatever just because they wanted him to sit down at the table. I didn't win anything, but I survived for a while. Yeah, that's

my barometer of doing okay. Sometimes that's the best I can do is survive for a while. I feel like it's hard for me to overcome the thought that you're supposed to fold more hands than you even play. Sometimes I'll see Dirty play, and he folds seven times in a row. And I'm like, I guess that he's the poker expert. I guess that's the right move.

It just feels weird to 80% of the time be checking out. Yeah, you're folding like 80% of your hands hands that's even higher than i imagined it being yeah are pros like that too yeah like 80 oh yeah at least i guess you have to be really selective with it yeah because you know there's there's 10 other people um you want a strong hand if you're going to be putting money into the pot because you're, you're betting, um, uh, based on like the strength of your hand and the, and it's drawing ability. So like ace,

king, ace, queen, ace, jack, ace, 10, um,

preferably suited, you know, pairs, uh, you know, pair of deuces, threes, fours,

five, sixes, uh, all the way up. Um, it's kind of all I play, you know, I don't play a lot of nonsense.

I don't play a lot of unsuited hands unless it's very cheap for me to get in to play with them. I play a lot of... If I have an ace and anything else and it's suited because I can draw at the highest flush, I like to do that. If I can play with any pair because if you've got two deuces

and another deuce comes on the board and all of a sudden you've got a set, it's a very strong hand even though they're deuces. Stuff like that that i try to play pretty tight for the most part yeah it doesn't always go well three of a kind that that beats a lot of shit right obviously two pair and one pair but it doesn't beat flushes and straights i made a straight flush uh last night i think i made another straight flush. Do people get full houses often? Fairly often. That's three and two, right? Yeah, that's three and two.

That's like three kings and two jacks. The more people on the... Is it eight people? Is that a full table in this? I think we play ten. With ten people, you need a pretty good hand to win a lot. If we were to play heads up and I had a pair of fours, it might be, right? There's a pretty good chance a pair of fours and 10 people probably loses.

Yeah, that's where like pre-flop raising comes in big. You know, the amount of, if you've had those fours, you might make it 10, you know, seven or $8 if anyone wants to call and see the flop and see any more cards. And so like very few people will call that because they've probably got strong cards seven or eight dollars if anyone wants to call and see the flop and see any more cards and so like very few people will call that because they've probably got strong cards and you would imagine that they've probably got big cards like aces kings and queens so if the flop comes and there's no aces kings or queens you can kind of feel safe with your like sevens or eights but of course if you flop a pair of sevens or you flop a set of sevens and there is an ace out

there you're like oh we're about to make a lot of fucking money here because maybe he's got a pair of aces with like a queen kicker and i've got three sevens you know like there's a i don't know it's a it's a much more complicated game than it appears to be on the surface there's a lot going on um i'm still learning i think most people still are it's. It's a lot of fun though. And it's difficult to remove all your emotions. I don't know. I'm letting last hand's loss be like, all right, Woody, get your head in the fucking game. This time we're going to push back a little bit.

That's not how you win at poker. No, I have zero emotions when I play. I don't give a shit. As I thought I would. That's where I'll be next time. i i just couldn't care less like like um i i treat different players differently like there's a couple players who are just i think of as absolute idiots like there's a couple guys in there who are just idiots so like you kind of have to call them with like a weaker hand most of the time and sometimes they'll beat you and sometimes they won't but you just have to

call if you're going to be profitable in the long run because they're going to do stupid shit with stupid hands uh but then you know if you get raised by certain players it's like okay let's leave let's leave like he doesn't do that unless he's got like a really good hand you know i've kind of learned as time goes on like who i'm playing with and kind of how they play the good players you can't do that too anyway though because they mix it up so much yeah who are the tops now the really good guy i know he's probably gonna pick one now that's what i really want you to do yeah everybody wants that oh i don't know like like like dirty does very well alexander uh always plays very well um ari's been playing pretty fucking good um scum plays pretty

good you know all the all those guys play well um you know i i don't know i haven't looked at the wins and losses or whatever like i said i'm like breaking even most of the time um like like i'll have a good night followed by a bad night you had a good run a couple good like i remember you had a week that might have been a four-digit week or something oh yeah i had a i mean i had a four-digit night you know like like like and then you know the week just kept going better and better but like you know there's ups and ups and downs with that with that game and i'm just not good enough to like always be a consistent winner i don't think um and then there's also luck involved too so like shit happens like like sometimes i'll

have ace king and they'll have ace 10 and they'll just get a 10 you know that the odds are in my favor if we could do this over and over for like infinite money, I would do that. Right. Because like I'm, I'm way ahead. The odds are in my favor, but sometimes they just don't go that way. Sometimes you do get emotional. I'm thinking about that. I've definitely seen you get, I months ago, I saw you absolutely rail at a guy who was winning, but not the way you wanted him to. Yeah. And there was another guy who you're like, I'm about to fold, but I want you to know before that you played this horribly.

Yeah. You have these cards, then you should have made a lot more money than you did. And if you don't have those cards, then you shouldn't be winning at all. You're going to win this, but you suck at poker. Yeah.

Here's my money. I've done that. I've done that. Or Mr. Robot. How are you? I will get that. Tell me more, Mr. Robot. I will get mad, but see, that's a perfect example of me being a robot, right? Because I didn't let my anger

affect my decision. The correct decision was to fold. And even though I felt like I was... Even though anger would make me want to be like, you know, I'm going to fucking call you. Fuck you. I want your money. I'm just like, you know what? Let it go. Let it go. It's $20.

We lived to fight another day. I try not to let anger, like, make me, like, do things. But it will make me say things sometimes. I'll occasionally say some things. I try not to because it's shitty. It's rare when I do stuff like that. When I'm at a show. And also, I feel like the rules are different for hosts. You know, like, when I, when I do stuff like that, the show. And also I feel like the rules are different for hosts,

you know, like if you tell her, I flip out, I think it was a lot of people enjoying that. And if like another discord or patron or something flipped out, they might be a dick. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy in that regard.

I don't know. I try not to be a dick. I try to be polite. You know, if they, if they beat me, I try to say nice hand. Um,

but, but yeah, if they just play awfully and, and then somehow like just get lucky i i may indeed point out like it depends how you flip that i'm sorry i cut you off but like you know if you were to be like an ace are you serious an ace at the end this is awful then i you're not hurting my feelings you know when you say that but if you're like fuck you woody you only won because of that ace that's a different thing than i said the first time usually you'll just hear me like hitting my desk usually you'll just hear me hitting my desk or something like that or uh or like if i'm when i was streaming the other night and something bad happened i was just like oh he's got the straight he's got the straight you know it's just like

shit happens it's a fun game that's what makes it fun i'm gonna try to get a heartbeat monitor and like display it on my stream because i swear to god when i've got a good hand or when i'm bluffing my heart rate skyrockets it's so high like it's gotta be 140 150 or something like i'm sitting there and I'll go quiet in the stream. They'll be like, Kyle's got something. Kyle's got something here. I'm just like slowly betting. I don't want to say this

because I'm afraid that because I want you to do it, but that's a tell. You're like, guys, I'm going to put my pulse on screen. I feel like it goes high if I'm bluffing too, so on screen. Like I feel like, I mean, it goes high if I'm bluffing too.

So I don't feel like it is. Like that. Yeah. And I mean, my betting is, is telling you what's up. Like, like I'm talking about like if I flop like a full house or something like

that, and I know he's drawing at a flush and I'm slowly caught, he's like $70 and I'm calling $150 and I'm calling. And I see the third heart comes out, come out. I know he's got the flush i know i'm about to get all of his money which that literally happened the other night my heart is going because i know i'm about to take all this guy's money it's really fun

you think you're about to take all his money well then you did take all his money and that answers i like like there's something called the nuts which is when you have like literally the best possible hand like you can look at the cards on the board and you'd be like yeah nothing beats me there there are no two cards that beat my two cards and that was the instance in that situation like that's what the nuts means yeah usually if i'm putting lots of money in i have the nuts or close to it as context i heard people i was like oh the nuts means a really good hand yeah you're about to bust that's what i thought no because they mentioned having the nuts a couple of times and i was like oh that means they

like there's a high likelihood of winning but now i understand it it means that given the five out there the best things you can have in your pocket are these out there, the best things you can have in your pocket are these. I think I had king, 10, and the flop came king, king, 10. There's just nothing that beats me.

There aren't enough kings and 10s left to make a better hand than what I have. No, you could have two kings. There aren't two kings left. There's only one king left. Oh, you did say king, king, 10, king 10 didn't you yeah the only thing that beats me at that point is if he has pocket aces and the next card is an ace and the next card is an ace which just then he'd have the nuts yeah then he has a magical hand if he's got if he's got magic dick syndrome then i'm happy

to pay up pay that off but that that ain't happening that you ever lose like a hand where you're so sure you're gonna win that it's just you take it as an omen that you're like you know what guys i'm i'm out for the evening i'm gonna go yeah oh yeah yeah yeah like i cut my losses short if i lose 100 or 200 i was like all right that's it that's it i'm done for the night that's some of those guys just keep going and keep going and throwing like good money after bad uh i i won't do that um but yeah i've had like they're a bit like i've had a full house beaten by four of a kind and i've had i've had like an ace high flush beaten against beaten by a straight flush those are really shitty situations where it's like there's only a it's

the odds of you having that or just but if you have it you have it and i lose my money that's kind of how you have to play poker. Like you can't fold the high, an ACE high flush. You can't fold Kings full of aces. Like you just can't do those things. But I've ran into all of that. We play a lot of hands.

And so you see a lot of variants and you see a lot of ridiculous hands. I made a straight, like I said, I made a straight flush last night. I made, I don't know how many times I made four of a kind last night at least three you know you see some really strong hands when you play as much as we do as many hands as we play as quickly as we play are you ready for a new topic yeah have you seen the latest stephen bonner interview no okay so viewers stephen bonner's

ufc fighter um at his peak he was probably like top five or ten in his weight class. But he's really known for his fight against Forrest Griffin that kind of launched the UFC into the company that it is now. Okay. He's in the Hall of Fame for that fight. He has retired from professional fighting. He does a little professional wrestling, you know, the show. And he is clearly addicted to drugs opioids uh videos came out semi-recently of him in the hospital like swinging crutches at staff and stuff keeping

them away because as stephan bonner describes it the hospital was full of people because of the covid vaccine and uh they're overwhelmed and they can't give him the pain meds that he clearly needs. So his, he has a standing prescription for pain meds from his doctor, but you know, that runs out early as they do. Right. And he's like, I know the routine, you go to the hospital, you tell them this, they give you a shot and a prescription for something else. So he's trying to like get sort of two prescriptions cooking at the same time, as well as a shot of some sort of opioids. And,

um, I guess initially they told him that they were going to do it. And then they conferred, this is the hospital staff and decided not to do it because he's doing this, um, painkiller seeking behavior. Yeah. And that's when he flipped out in the hospital and sort of physically

threatened the staff and stuff like that. I think there were police involved and he's being interviewed by an MMA journalist. And to watch him explain what happened, like people who are experts in what these addicts are like, he just checked every box. First of all, he was describing the pain he was in as like excruciating.

Every surgery he ever has had is haunting him at the same time. My knee is this, my wrist is that my rib is something else. You know, I did this move down to the thousand times, but now my rip, oh, oh,

it hurts just to talk to you. And he's like convincing the interviewer, attempting to convince the interviewer and us and maybe himself that the reason he needs these drugs is the outrageous pain that he's in all the time, not the addiction. And when you ask him the wrong question, like, hey, if you ran out, why didn't you contact your family physician? He responds with anger he attacks the guy who asks the question and flies off the handle stephan bonner is in a bad place and you hear him talk about his relationship but he's like i've got friends and they're like they act like they want to help me but then when i tell them you know to get me some painkillers because that's what i need then you know i'm just like fuck you fuck if you're not gonna help me then just get the fuck off the phone with me what are you doing like you know fuck this guy and and like he go

like they're calling trying to help does this guy have a history of this or it's new to me yeah but he's clearly an addict like if you were to watch it, I'd show it. It's 20 minutes. It's hard to incorporate. But clearly drug-seeking behavior. Yeah. Yeah. And afterwards, I read the Reddit comments. There was a pro athlete who was like, I was this guy. I was this guy.

And I did everything I could to convince everyone that I needed this for my pain and not for my addiction. That's what he's going through. And Stefan Bonner is hooked on drugs right now opioids clearly and it's it's sad to see um he was i guess i have a an a an affection i guess i'll call to the pro fighters who are more professional uh chael sunnen comes to mind stefan bonner comes to mind joe lozon comes to mind guys who are just like smart you know above average intelligence who can do this right and um um i'm gonna distract a little bit but you know i guess you can speak clearly and maybe went to college and stuff like when i see

them i i guess i connect with them a little more than i do like a Mike Perry. If anyone knows Mike Perry, he's kind of, I want to call him a hood guy. He's white, but he's like just gangstery. And, uh, um, I like those guys on my TV too,

but they're not the ones I connect to like a Stefan Bonner. And anyway, dude's fucked. And it's better. Cause yeah, yeah. That's neat. That does seem to check every box.

It was crazy. Going to multiple doctors, really exaggerating the pain. Yeah, and you would imagine. Oh, we can give you this for the pain. It's like, no, I need adioxies and that's it. Yeah, yeah. I think at one point he said they were trying other pain therapies. There are things they can do with electrodes and stuff to help manage pain, but they don't help manage addiction. Zach has a quote here.

I recognize this from the interview. Are you effing kidding me? Let me effing fracture your lumbar vertebrae and see how you feel two weeks later and also break your wrist and also fuck your shoulder up and you're crutching around on it. Like, come on, man. Really? I'm being honest honest here do you have a problem fuck you that's what i'm talking about i don't know now i believe him that was convinced this is what he said that was pretty convincing honestly this is like to the interviewer he's like let me fracture your lumbar let me do and and you know like it is kind of like you kind of buy it if you watched all 20 minutes you probably wouldn't because of his career like you're inclined to be like well he got beat up for a living

i'm like the knee thing that was like six years ago you're telling me that like i've got that i don't even know which knee it is i had to find the scar you know i've got this wrist thing i've got this and they don't bother you like they fix it you know you're telling me that everything that's going wrong with you is like haunting you now. Did you ever than me? Yeah. So yeah. Anyway,

Stefan Bonner, a wreck. And it's sad to see. It looks like he hasn't fought since 2014. So it's been that long. Yeah. That was on his wiki. Yeah.

Where, what organization was that? Bellator? It was Bellator. Yeah. I'm just, i'm going off what i remember yeah he fought his last ufc was 2012 off what you remember well i just i closed the window out oh okay i think i think ufc was 2012 and i'm a huge fan i just i just go to my recent googles there he is stephen bonner uh it's not stephen or i guess no stephen i'm pretty

sure did you watch the uh anderson silvatito uh fight no i haven't even seen highlights really i know the result um anderson silva that guy should have quit when he was ahead he was like the most epic best like serpent kind of fighter what 2012 2013 around there that's perfect yeah i like what you're saying um he still got it he fucked tito up he fucked tito up it was the first round did you see yeah it's like first round i think um i watched the knockout it's he's doing his thing he's fucking dodging those big ass gloves and tito can't hit him and he uh he lays tito out and it was beautiful because fuck Tito right like Tito's a piece of shit

it was really fun to watch why is Tito a piece of shit he's always been a piece of shit but like the most recent thing he did was like he fought Chuck Liddell the Iceman for the third time in this bullshit promotion that's not the UFC and Chuck

was clearly like out of it and Tito went super hard not the UFC. And Chuck was clearly out of it. And Tito went super hard in the paint and beat Chuck up. And Chuck, look, you would do a better job at defending yourself against Tito than Chuck Liddell could do in that fight. Clearly Chuck is incredibly diminished. He's broken down physically and mentally. He shouldn't be in there.

And Tito showed no mercy and just beat him down ufc paid chuck liddell not to fight for a decade right chuck liddell he is the heart of a fighter even now he wants to fight he thinks he can win and the ufc kept him on the payroll as long as he didn't fight until they sold out then the payroll ended and now he's fighting so yeah yeah he's done horribly looks like up until 2006 incredible uh you know i guess this is chuck liddell yeah chuck liddell 20 and 3 up through 2006 and then it's just been losses since and what what what you might not know about his record is uh they wouldn't tito ortiz wouldn't give him a title shot tito was the champion and chuck was the challenger and he just kept being like dude

we're friends i don't want to fight my friend and chuck is like we are not friends i am not i'm not your friend i want to fight you and i want to take your title so chuck is the number one contender was clearing out like two three four five and tito's fighting like eights now and then so chuck is like defending the belt he doesn't have against the top guys until he finally got a chance to fight tito and beat him and then beat him again yeah uh he was very impressive and i i just remember like he's clearly in line for a title fight he's taking a very hard fight when he could have waited for it and then he won that too and i really like watching him fight he knocked yeah yeah he was fun back in the day he would just storm them eat a couple punches on the way in and just knock him

the fuck out he would fight with his arms down here this is tito's fighting stance right and i'm like why don't people just punch up them i don know. He's like a rock'em sock'em robot. He was just like... We put holes in people. We put holes in people. It's kind of like a cabin creep. Yeah. We make holes in teeth.

We make holes in teeth. Yeah, Chuck's a legend. I'm almost positive he's in the Hall of Fame. I bet on it. you know, Father Time undefeated. That's what's up. Is there a little bit of a Babe Ruth thing with someone like Chuck Liddell? Well, maybe Babe Ruth is a bad example because Chuck Liddell reaffirmed

to me that Babe Ruth genuinely was fucking incredible and would have been good in the modern day. Some all-star in 1909 in MLB, they're like, this guy revolutionized the ground ball or whatever the fuck. He was the first player to hold the bat the right way.

He was the wide side of the bat. They've been holding the bat around the bat. Everyone else had just been poking at it. Before 1917, they just poked at the ball like billions. It was Johnny the Bat, McGovern Covey, and he's the first one to swing a baseball bat.

I would argue that almost no champ from 2005 earlier would even be top 10 right now. That includes T. I'm'm sorry i meant to say chuck yeah so yeah that exists but like such a young sport that i i think even today i feel like the sports under a period of rapid advancement for sure uh you know people it's like how hockey was in like 1930 they're like this new guy figured out how to slap the puck some sort of lap shot that's literally what it was and people like it didn't cross people's minds before that to try it i've had this thought i'm not saying it would make hockey better because physical is fun in hockey but if they had a no check top league if the nhl suddenly went no check i would love to

see how that game evolves because i think it would go lacrosse i think guys would be picking up that puck at the blue line doing weird shit with it all the way until they shoot it on goal probably it'd be a very high scoringscoring league because without checking, a lot of defense falls apart. I wouldn't be as interested in that. I like the physicality. I like the hitting. What it would really be

is more like international hockey, like Olympic hockey, where they play on the bigger ice surface. If you don't know, Kyle, the actual ice surface in the Olympics is much larger than in the NHL. That's why a lot of European players are known for like, oh, that's Elias McGubenbig.

He's not very physical, but he has got great hands. And then they get their first year in the league, and it's like, welcome to Canada, retard. And they just... UFC has that too. There's two different sizes of cage, and it's a big difference. It's a big difference. The small cage makes it hard not to engage with the other guy.

And the big cage allows for a lot of, I prefer the big cage. When I played ice hockey, I played in three men's leagues at the same time. One had a smaller than usual rink. One had like an NHL size rink. It's pretty common. And the other had an international sized rink. One had like an NHL size rink. It's pretty common. And the other had an international sized rink.

And the way that my game was, I was fast. That was, it was by far the best part of my game. If you got right on me and I had to like deke you or something, I like your odds. But if I could get a little skating room and I could get around you, then that worked to my advantage.

And on the international ice, I was a good player on the regular ice and on the small one always freaking jammed up always you know the guy'd crunch me ncaa like the rink i played it had the ncaa the smaller one the nhl and the international and i'm playing goalie like it was a big difference like if i was playing on the international one i'm like it's gonna be real fucking hard for them to create traffic in front with this amount of space this is gonna be way easier for me whereas with like ncaa they're really small one it's like fuck they're gonna be easy to cluster in front of the net they're cutting off my angles hard to see so it doesn't i didn't realize college played on a smaller

that's i could be wrong that's what they called it at our rank they called it the ncaa the nhl and the international or the olympic oh did they move the boards or were there three ranks three ranks yeah in the same building in the same building yeah it was a real big building um because hockey culture is bigger than you would think in st louis because there's no basketball team and everybody plays hockey for the most part uh Kyle speaking of sports your Georgia Bulldogs eked one out against University of Alabama Birmingham 56 to 7 yeah it was very close it was a close one and by the way that seven they scored was a pick six okay I wanted to be known that our defense did not give up any points

this year yeah you're off this year your offense is really trying to fucking boost their numbers against uab to get that average up but your defense is solid mizzou on the other hand lost to kentucky so our season is over yeah it's ours is too nc state lost a game they had it like the little odds had them at like 66 chance of winning and 99 next week so i'm like we're gonna start off three and oh we're already ranked 27 just someone in front of us will fall out of the rankings we'll get a number next to our name like a big boy and uh i'm totally psyched what happens we lose the game we lose our best player and we lose another returning starter out for

the season on injuries, our season's over. I'm rooting for the Georgia Bulldogs. Fuck yeah, man. It's a good bet. It's a good bet. We're definitely... Roll Tide. Fuck you.

I'm a huge Alabama fan. I love all the players. All of them. All the players. The big ones, the small ones. And their coach, Mr. Tide. He's really good. Jeremy Tide.

Jeremy Tide. His head coach is Alabama. Nick Saban. That is his name. I'm rooting for Georgia, too. I want someone from the SEC to bring it home. And if Mizzou sucks ass again, may as well be Georgia. It's a weird position to be in where you're like,

all right, we're the second best team in the country, according to the polls anyway. Who's the first best? Oh, those guys who are right next door to you. They're right next door. They're literally like a quick drive. I think the Gators is your closest team. Am I wrong?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, we play that game in Jacksonville, but their school is a little bit further south. I don't remember exactly where the Florida Gators school is, but we're touching nonetheless. They're really close. And it's Athens, Georgia is where the Bulldogs play out of, so I don't know geographically who's closer.

Okay. I think University ofama plays out of tuscaloosa uh i could be wrong about that though um i don't know that's what's popping into my head but in any case it's it's it's like jesus christ like the the best team in the country perennially perennially oh i always struggle with that one you can do it you can do it i believe in you perennially there we go perennially. There we go. Perennially. It's right fucking next door.

They're the best team every goddamn year. Why can't we have a year where it's like, ah, the recruiting class for Alabama sucked this year. Georgia got all the five stars. Everybody from California even came out. It's like you at your gym just being like, just mogging on everyone and then like you see fucking chris thor bjornson come in and be like this is your first day lifting

weight sir sir you forget to put weight on bar no it's it's an overhead press, 155. Yes, but what about the workout? Oh, one-handed. Oh, I see. Oh, one-handed overhead press. I see. Yes, let me get in. Spot me. I don't know how to spot you.

You're just going to... Because right now, sir, the bar is nine and a half feet in the air. He's twirling it like a fucking... There's ropes on it like a Macy's Day parade balloon. Yeah, that's what it fucking feels like. It's like, God damn, we got a good team. I really hope we beat them, but I'm tempering expectations. Like I said...

I'm all on board. I might buy a jersey. I might go full Myers and get a Georgia Bulldog jersey. If I were like Kyle, I'd buy an Alabama jersey. We found out that State wasn't doing well. And I told this guy, he's an App State fan. App State has very passionate fans. And a team that's better than you'd guess.

They were 1A not long ago. And now they're like 30th in the country. But I think they're in the Sunbelt Conference. They're just better than you'd guess, but not a major team. And he pulls for them. He pulled for them when they were nobodies, and now they're on the doorstep of being someone. And I'm like, yeah, State lost its players.

I think I'm going Georgia this year. And he hates it. He hates it. He hates it. He thinks it's a lazy pick. But I went from the, you know what? I'm not a Church of Kyle member, but I do respect some of their values. It's not even a lazy pick. I grew up 35 minutes away from Athens.

Always been a Georgia fan. Always hated those Georgia Tech guys. And it's just like, this might be our fucking year finally. This might fucking be our year. I think we can get through the field. I think we can go unbeaten. Florida's going to be a hard win. They're top 10.

But I think we can beat Florida. If we beat Florida, we're definitely going to the SEC championship. Even if we lose to Florida, we're definitely going to the SEC championship. Even if we lose to Florida, we might be going to the SEC championship. Probably are. Why do you dislike Georgia Tech? They don't seem to be very good. It's an in-state rivalry thing where they think they're better than us. The Georgia fans are the hillbillies, and the Tech fans are the classy fans.

Oh, then I love Georgia too. I'm the hillbilly school and the tech fans are the are the uh classy fans oh and i love georgia too i i'm the hillbilly school here in north carolina and they call it moo you it's not nice it's atlanta versus athens i feel like isn't auburn usually rated way higher than 22 they must not be doing well they come and go they had a they had a I want to say last year. We might have even lost to them last year. I don't remember. They had a good team last year.

I feel like because I paid a UNC tuition, it gave me the right to root for them too. Sure. Sure. That should count. They should give you a jersey. You pay for a fucking ride up through that school. Right.

They should hook you up with a jersey or something. A hat, at least. Yeah. They should. Wish they didn't reach. Yeah, I don't know, man. I ride high on it up until the point we lose, and then I'm just like, I can't look anymore.

But you can lose now. I feel like you could meet Bama in the conference championship, lose, and make the playoffs. We'll see how it plays out. Maybe there's like seven under... If we lose to Bama, then that's kind of it. This has happened a couple times. We go to the SEC championship and then we lose to Alabama. And then that's pretty much it. But it's not your first loss. What do you mean?

If you're undefeated until that last game, and now you're sitting at 12-1, I don't think they're going to pick three teams in front of you. If your only loss is to Bama, who I'm making undefeated at this point. Good bet. Yeah. Good bet.

Good bet. They're just so fucking good. When you look at the depth that they have at any given position, look at running. I mean, Georgia has so many good running backs. They wheeled them all out in the last game. They're like, oh yeah, and here's Matrice

Magumbo. Wait, isn't this your eighth running back of the game? Yeah, he's one of the best in the country, though. Each one is better than the last. It's incredible. The recruiting classes that they have in Georgia, but still Alabama is just better. They're almost always better.

We've got to get lucky to beat them. A guy I went to high school with played for Nebraska in their prime. I think he won two championships while he was there. And he never started. But he played like five or seven years in the NFL. So that's what their second string was like. Exactly. I've heard people talk about whether or not Alabama could play against an NFL team. Like a bad NFL team. Like if you took the worst team in the NFL and played them against

Alabama, I've always heard that Alabama would get destroyed, but it'd be, it'd be really cool to watch. I'd like to see it. I do think they get destroyed though. Like, yeah, you figure every single player in the NFL, like better yet, how many players on Alabama's roster will make the NFL? It's a shorter list than all. Like 12? So this year it's going to be five, but if you take all the years,

it's going to be like 17. I don't even know. I don't know. So it's whatever, 20% of the players. Yeah. It's also the same thing with UFC, right? Like, I'd love to see Amanda Nunez fight an untrained man. And then, like, depending on how that went, maybe a slightly trained man.

And then just keep stepping it up until we got a good fight. Yeah. Nunez has to be on steroids. She might be. She's strong. She's so strong. That Chinese chick too? Wei Ling or whatever? She doesn't look legit.

Rose does. Rose looks so legit. If you saw Rose in a bar or something, you'd be like, oh, look at that skinny bitch. Why don't you grow her hair out? God damn. Is she still doing shaved head? Oh, yeah. I don't she grow her hair out god damn is she still doing shaved head oh yeah yeah yeah i don't like that i don't think it makes sense if you're a fighter lose a little bit of weight

look tough i don't know why i thought of this i guess we're talking about tough chicks in bars but uh i saw this video on reddit today like this chick comes into a bar and she sees her husband cheating on her he's like cuddled up with some chick at the bar her opening move is to walk up to him and fucking throw a headbutt she headbutts him in the nose blows his nose up blood everywhere and then she starts throwing bombs and he's just eating him is this a real clip yeah she hits him like the headbutt is like perfect like i've never seen a woman headbutt a man she fucking bombs him with this headbutt nose just bleeding everywhere and she just fucking...

At one point, she throws so hard, she falls on her ass, but gets right back up and throws another. And she's throwing like a man. She's throwing like an athlete. She's hitting him so hard. Her boyfriend was cheating on her? Yeah. I saw an amazing Reddit video.

So there's this woman. She's sitting in front of her computer on a webcam at a job interview and then another woman her sister grabs her by the hair throws her fucking down and then starts ground and pounding the fuck out of bam bam bam her sister because the job interviewee fucked the sister's husband and the sister is enraged and she really just beats the fuck out of her. And the clip ends. But I choose

to believe the next move was she got back in the chair and they said, so tell me about a time you handled a difficult situation. Well, is that time just now? When my sister broke my nose in front of you? And I feel like just continuing

the time interview shows that I'm the kind of employee that, oh God, it hurts. There's no more family here. She literally goes, don't you ever talk to me again. She's got a real strong southern accent. Don't you ever talk to me again.

She beat the shit out of her right in front of, and everybody's like, whoa, whoa, what's happening? Stop. I love when somebody's getting again like she just she beat the shit out of her right in front of like and everybody's like whoa whoa what's happening stop i love when somebody's getting beaten this this shit beating out of them and everybody's like stop stop you don't know here in every fight video there's a woman going stop it stop it like i wish i wish the two would stop and get her you know what we'll stop we're both very annoyed with your high-pitched wheels though so you're Stop and get her. Yeah. Destroyed forces.

You know what? We'll stop. We're both very annoyed with your high-pitched wheels, though. So you're going down now. Hold her, Billy. Do you guys remember that show, Bully Beatdown, on MTV? Yeah. Like, fucking 15, 18 years ago?

Yeah. There was one episode where, like, the bully wasn't just some, like, know-nothing idiot big guy. And he was huge. But he went in there and actively, if I recall correctly, bullied the fighter. And was like, I thought you're supposed to be the pro. Aren't you the pro?

And he's just so much bigger than the guy. And the guy who's being bullied by that guy has to be like, oh, he's going to be so mad. He beat up the fighter and he's coming for me next. That would actually be bad. Why couldn't you pick a heavyweight to do this? Why isn't Chuck Liddell here? I mean, I have nothing but respect for Mighty Mouse,

but unless you have three of them, let's pick somebody larger. Have you guys seen that whole TikTok trend of kids destroying their high school bathrooms? I saw that it was a trend, but I didn't understand that there's a whole generation of poop bandits. No, they go in there and

fucking rip the place apart. They kick the stalls all the way down. Not just the door, they kick the walls down. They fucking rip the soap dispensers off the wall so now like these kids are showing like what their high school bathrooms look like now on reddit and it's like they've taken their soap away because fucking psychos keep tick-tocking destroying bathrooms no i don't like that i don't want to go into a bathroom and be forced to like shit in public like i'm in a pakistani prison like i i still want my walls there.

My high school didn't have doors on every stall. The gym had no doors. It was bizarre. I don't know why. In some ways, the school was really wealthy. I've explained this before. It went by real estate taxes. We didn't have any people living there.

Shore homes are expensive. Not every stall had doors. I just felt like We didn't have any people living there and then the shore homes are expensive. So, um, but yeah, not every stall had doors and it, I just felt like, like I, I can't prove it. I know the girls had doors. I just fucking know it.

Their showers had doors and we just had fucking nozzles in a, like the prison was better. That's how our high school was. We had nozzles. The girls had stalls in the shower. At least we had stalls in our back. How big was your high school? A pretty nozzles the girls had stalls in the shower at least we had stalls in our back how big was your high school a pretty big school uh so four years combined for like 1300 kids okay not not a huge school but enough to afford bathroom doors i i just felt like it

wasn't a money thing like they decided it was better that way or something. I can't explain it. I hated it. We had doors. La-di-da. Flexing on our doors. Yeah, we had doors. Dude, I've mentioned it before. My meat-gazing gym coach from high school, where we'd all get out of the showers, and he would just stand there and look at us in the hallway and be like boys class is starting soon get dressed and just looking at everyone's dicks

and like at the time i remember he like was affiliated with the basketball team and i remember i was in the hockey team and i was good friends with a lot of guys in the basketball team we'd sit and eat lunch together and i'm like dude coach smith is a fucking weirdo he is a fucking weirdo and they'd be like no i mean he's kind of weird but like he's just you know he's just a little odd and i'm like he watches me dry off every day he watches you dry off i feel like that makes him not a pedo he's chosen the manliest child there yeah i mean just like to make sure you're dry taylor you put your clothes on wet you're gonna be all chafed up right if you watch maybe you get milled to you in your shirt what mill do you go walking around stinking tailors

coach is looking out for you coach was there watching teenage taylor is gay watching teenage woody is pedo. Yeah. And I mean, I don't want to pretend that I was the only person being scoped out. All of us were, he would stand there. It was the shower here.

You left the shower and there was a corridor with the hanging towels and he would stand at the end of the corridor and look over. And I knew it was weird. Everyone knew it was weird because there was another coach, the football coach who, when he came in, like post-practice, he would be like eyes glued to the ground like guys we have another practice wednesday uh during school we're doing this that and the other thing bring this goodbye

and that's how he handled it that's how he handled it like a real adult and this other guy would come in and just stare and for years you think locking eye contact is the thing just like straight up never no it was angrily it was cock contact he would just stare at your dick no no the what hypothetically you're a coach in that situation i think i look at players eyes and make it very clear that i'm looking at eyes he would he would either he would either come in and be looking like right at his clipboard like so and so so and so so and so be ready for this or come in and be looking like right at his clipboard, like so-and-so, so-and-so, so-and-so, be ready for this. Or he would come in and do the Kyle thing and just kind of look at the ceiling. But this other guy, and I remember all throughout high school, for some reason, the basketball guys would be like, he's not that weird.

He's not that weird. Fast forward to fucking 10 years after we graduate high school. And this same dude gets in trouble for like a sex crime and i'm like i i knew it i told you and still one friend in particular of mine who played basketball he's like he's not that he he didn't do that stuff until like after we left wow and it's like that is not true and i know i don't think he raped you but you know in his head he might be like we both wanted it I don't think he raped you

but S my D just to see how practiced you are and do you know and this ties into how are you going to tell Kyle what's your method well we were saying remember the religious shit we were saying with Joshua earlier this dude this coach who committed a sex crime

and was fucking creepy with all of us, he was the guy at the front of the auditorium every week when we had our fucking sing-along praise. He had his hands up. He was fist-pumping for God, imagining they were little boys' assholes. And he was that guy. He was that fucking dude raising his hands, singing,

so everyone could see how religious he was at the he was that fucking dude raising his hands singing so everyone could see how religious he was at the front of the room meanwhile he's a fucking borderline pedo if if not full-on pedo so there you just let me learn what's the word for a pedo that likes teenagers uh refined yeah refined i don't know i think it's like a heebie-jeebie-file something. You call that guy a Twitch streamer? You call him a Discord admin.

I don't know how to pronounce this word. A-fee-ba-fee-lia? That doesn't really roll off the tongue. A-fee-ba-fee-lia? No wonder that didn't catch on. That's way worse than pedophile. Yeah, come up with something a little slicker than that for us. Aphibophile?

Yeah, that's never catching on. No. I like Discord admin better. Yeah, Discord admin. There are a lot of... Wait. Odd people on Discord running communities. You see about it in the news all the time where it's like this discord group with 3000 members surrounding Minecraft mods actually run by a cabal of

pedophiles asking for feet pics because you know, I give you a diamond sword and we show me your feet. That's it. We can just type that in and get them yeah the uh who was it fuck uh it wasn't the yeah yeah it was the feet pick guy there's a guy named i think his name is dan schneider and he was like a nickelodeon producer kind of guy and he did that show i carly which is very popular back in the day it was past any of our time so i'm sure none of us have seen it but it's remade i've seen the

memes and like the the photoshop or not photoshop the uh the screen caps and basically this guy dan schneider i saw tons of examples of feet shit in the show where it'd be like oh this young girl needs to like cover her feet in ketchup. Ha ha ha. And then at one point, this dude tweeted out, if you're an iCarly fan, write something on the bottom of your feet and send me a photo of it.

And so there's a bunch of 10, 11, 12-year-old girls sending this dude tweets. Yeah. Dude had it figured out. He was the Tarantino of tweens. Absolutely ghoulish how many yeah this guy carly tickles sam very unusual toes if you have a moment will you please name sam's toes for and sam is a girl character in that show how many like co-workers did he have that just

knew it and let it go apparently like hollywood yeah yeah like because like harley harvey weinstein um matt lauer i guess was a widely known dog um bill cosby it was like people because he was getting a new tv show you know really damn i'm looking for the pun no pun no pun it's happening i'm psyched just let's circle back to that anyway i just feel like this guy dan schneider a lot of people knew about his thing with kids feet and were just like you know i don't want the show canceled dude tarantino's um like like we all know about tarantino's foot fetish right yeah it makes it pretty obvious like in every movie he's got like his female characters like barefooted with their feet. Even in

what's the recent one with the Manson murderers that had I don't recall. Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt and everybody. Anyway, he's got

God, I can't believe I'm spacing out on her name too it's uh the chick who plays um harley quinn anyway like like she's she's got her bare feet like up on the movie seats like there's no reason for that they're dirty like he's once upon a time in hollywood yeah yeah um like like and then i'll go back to kill bill where he's got uma thurman who has very big feet by the way which he must be into which is why he's cast her so many times. Like, Uma Thurman has really big feet. Like, she's got that whole scene where she's paralyzed,

and she's like, wiggle your big toe. So there's this whole scene built around close-ups of her feet and her toes wiggling. And then there's that scene later on where, like, she plucks out the other chick's eye and then squishes it with her foot, and there's this close-up of her toe squishing the eyeball. That one is weird.

I can, I can even give him the whole, like they're paralyzed, wiggle your toe. Cause that's what you're supposed to do. But the, yeah, the stomping,

the, what was, what was it in a something dead, dead after tomorrow, some fucking, uh, where it becomes a zombie movie. Oh yeah.

Yeah. The grindhouse thing with Robert Rodriguez. He, it was a, it was a, it was a double feature um yeah like that's not what he's talking about from dawn till daylight maybe from dawn till dusk maybe i'm oh from dawn till dusk yeah i think that from dawn till dusk has a scene like in that bar where like some lady's just like putting her feet on some guy for no reason i think what happened actually or maybe i'm wrong about this i want to say it's um who's the beautiful um mexican actress um selma hayek i want to say

maybe there's a scene you know selma hayek comes out she's dancing with the big snake right yeah i think that she puts her foot in quentin Tarantino's mouth and pours beer or liquor down her leg while he drinks it. Yes, that is exactly the scene I'm thinking of. That is so shoehorned into that movie.

Everybody pay attention. This scene, it's integral. Thelma, you're going to put your big toe in my mouth. All right. Let's just do it right now after practice. All right? He's the director.

He's going to be like, cut again. Yeah. Cut. No, let's leave it in there. No, let's leave it in there. Yeah, let it folk. He just shakes his toes out. There's no more polish on him.

I looked up Cosby's TV show. A little disappointing. His spokesman says he's on the phone working on a number of projects. That's not quite like... That's what he calls victims. Yeah. I was really hopeful that something was coming out of it. Yeah.

Yeah. What I read was he was getting a new TV show. I hope it's true. I hope it happens. Maybe you're a better source than me. I don't know. I don't. Yeah. What I read was he was getting a new TV show. I hope it's true. I hope it happens. Maybe you're a better source than me. I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I just, I think I read a Reddit.

What's the new show? Like what would it be? I don't know. I just, I literally just read like, Bill Cosby's getting a new show coming this fall or some shit like that. I didn't look any deeper. Like the headline.

I can't imagine looking for a new show. If you're operating from a place of morality, it's crazy. If you're operating from a place of morality it's crazy if you're operating from a place of profit he has interest right like i think everyone wants to see what he's going to do next i'm curious i want to see it i want to i don't care what bill cosby does next he can do comedy he can do celebrity boxing he can do a show i want to see it him versus harvey that'd be good except harvey's definitely gonna win that one because harvey surprised good bill clinton match chuck liddell oh my god equally blind equally senile it's i mean they'll they'll walk away from uh from profitable things

if they you know don't want it like the road remember the rosanne thing rosanne like came back and was huge it was making money hand over fist and they ended that so i can't imagine them doing uh true even cosby a show well it depends who like uh i don't know who canceled rosanne but it was someone on like the nbc level i gotta believe like there's some network out there that'll do a cosby show i don't know who it is sci-fi or like spike tv spike as a better example yeah someone out there he'll try it sci-fi a world where i never raped anybody i don't know how to do bill Cosby anymore fuck I never could do him

that's not even fair you know there's the thing about rape and certain people that's round the bar but if you make a good show you could rape whoever you want and then you can get out of prison on the technicality not even close

I have a topic but I just know Kyle would enjoy it here he is here's the shadow approaches of kyle kyle do you know who michael k williams is did i get him did i go too soon uh michael k williams michael k williams michael k williams you definitely know his either yeah i know the know the name. I can't picture him. He played Omar in The Wire. Got him. Got him.

Yeah, yeah, of course. And do you know how he got that scar? No. So let's see. He went outside to get some air during a popping party at a bar in Queens. I saw that two of my friends were being surrounded by some dudes who I didn't know. And it looked like they were going to get jumped. I said, yo, I'm ready to leave. Let's go back. I'm ready to go back home now. But William said that one dude kept pacing behind me. He kept like, you know, sucking his teeth and I'm looking, I'm like, yo, so what's up, dude? Yo, bro, what's

your problem? The dude wiped his hand across his mouth and just what i thought i appeared to be smacked me but what he did is he spit a razor he was positioning the razor in his mouth that sucking his teeth to get it between his middle finger and his ring finger and then he just went and swiped my face and he cut my face It was actually the first hit of the fight, so we managed to escape with our lives, barely. But Williams survived the attack, and the gash from the razor blade created a distinctive scar that ran from the center of his forehead across the bridge of his nose to his right cheek.

At the time, he was working as a dancer in music videos for stars like Madonna and George Michael, and the incident left him marked for life. It also got him noticed by directors with whom he was working. Things changed immediately after that. Directors didn't just want me to dance in videos anymore. They wanted me to act out these thug roles.

Like, Mike, roll these dice in this video. Have this fight in this video. I'm like, all right. A short time later, Tupac Shakur was filming the movie. Bullet happened to see a Polaroid picture of me and was like, yo, this dude looks thugged out enough to play my little brother. And he led to a role in law and order,

the Sopranos and the wire. So I just thought it was interesting. Oh, thank you, Zach. That's perfect. That's how he got this car. Did he just die?

I forget why I was looking he just died, drug overdose oh really? that sucks I figured he had one of those early heart attacks but I don't know much about him I mean I only watched him in Sopranos for that one episode

he's in and obviously like as Omar Little in The Wire man's got to have a code I'm more into his early dance stuff. I'm a real fan. Big fan of his dance stuff, of course. I know all his moves. But he's just so fucking good in The Wire.

Anybody out there who's never seen The Wire, that was a good time, right? Omar just passed. Little tribute to Omar. Check the show out. It's so fucking good. Same goes for Norm MacDonald's comedy. If you're not familiar with Norm MacDonald's comedy, go comedy go check that out tons of new clips are being uploaded uh chis was pointing out they just uploaded his moth joke uh from uh from um conan o'brien that episode it's it's it's

it's you're either gonna like it or you're not and uh i loved it it's it's fucking hilarious it's it's like the whole you know it's it's fucking hilarious it's it's like the whole you know it's it's classic norm it's it's really funny shit but yeah i loved omar his character was the best character in the wire i in my opinion like he was just he's a gay gangster right and it's like those things seem like they butt heads god he was gay for a second yeah you know like he's a gay gangster and he's not just a gangster. He's the gangster who robs other gangsters. He's like the alpha white shark.

He's so fearless. That's what attracts you to him. The main gangsters are Baker and someone else. Maybe you can help me. Oh, Barksdale. Barksdale crew. Yeah, yeah. Barksdale and I think Baker is the other one. It's not. All all right i made a

mistake anyway stringer stringer yeah yeah um so omar though is the only part like even the cops are afraid of barksdale and stringer to some extent like at least they respect him and they have omar will like he'll walk into a 1v3 and like his odds he's a different breed and when and he's he's great he's fucking great you know like he he's one of the best characters ever put on film he's really funny he's got lots of great lines like like i remember there's one episode where he just like wakes up and there's either no cereal or no milk and so like he's like walking in his robe and nothing else to like the store to get like some some fucking cap and crunch or something and like some drug dealers see him and they just drop a big bag of crack they're like omar is here

fuck take the crack omar and he's just like don't mind if i do he was just trying to get cereal but he's so scary that they see him and they're just like giving it up there's like you take it take it he'd roll around with that double barrel shotgun it's interesting i don't know if real i've never been in real gunfights or even like real fight fights outside of school but uh like what makes a tough guy in the movies they will make you think that a morbidly obese italian mobster can beat people up why because he's extra aggressive right and who's um who's the short guy who plays a lot of gangsters uh yeah it is my cousin vinnie yeah and um is that that's right right we're the same guy Okay, so they will make you think that Joe Pesci can beat up

95% of the population only because of his superior aggression. You could never stand a chance against Joe Pesci. He'll stab you in the eye with a pen before you know what's going on. And it's like, maybe they're right. I don't even know. I mean, to be fair,

he's in his 70s. It doesn't matter. We're talking about that scene in Casino, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where his opening move is literally to start stabbing the guy in the face with a pin. And he's just like, oh, what happened? There was a big strong man here a minute ago. Now here's a little girl.

You have a little girl in here? You have a little girl in here? Crying? That's one of the scenes I'm talking about, right? no here's a little girl you're a little girl in here you're a little girl in here crying that's one of the scenes i'm talking about right or we could go um i think it's a bronx tale it's not joe pesci but there's a morbidly obese italian guy and they shut the door and he's literally belly bopping people as one of his moves that was a good guy and like how to win a hollywood fight and how to win a wheel fight are not the same thing but it

does make me wonder if a guy is that aggressive right if his opening move is bat to the head pen to the eye like does that get you far maybe it does i don't know worse yeah like if you're if your opening move is to stab someone in the neck with a pen, you're going to win every fight because all it takes is them to turn away for a second and then you stab them in the neck with a pen. Out of all the players we faced, the one we feared the most was the gun. The gun.

He had a hell of an arm, but he also had a gun. He made a rule against bringing guns into football games. But he was a grandfather. But he was a grandfather. That was the state of hell away from me. I'll gun you down. All the defensemen are just doing this around him like putties from Power Rangers.

That was the funniest SNL thing I've ever seen. I'd never seen that until you showed me. And then there's the old man getting interviewed. He was an incredible player. You can't take it away from him. But put him over the edge, it was the gun. Nobody else would go to tackle other players, and they didn't have a gun, and so it was much easier.

This guy, you can try to take him from behind. He's got a gun. so it was much easier this guy you try to take him from behind he's got a gun anybody's listening has never seen this shit just like get on youtube and search snl the gun and like watch it's it's a steve martin everyone else was kicking themselves for not thinking why didn't i bring a gun And they do such a good job because it does remind you of those old ESPN things where they got the old guys from the Stone Age of football with the leather helmets

and stuff. They got the aged makeup on. I'm like, yeah, back in my day, there was one player I had to one-feet. It was the gun. The hammer? Pardon? The hammer? No. Alright. Fred Williams played for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I'm not sure about this. I think he's part of the Iron Curtain. And they called him the hammer because he wrapped up his forearm with tape to make it fucking hard like a boxer's knuckles. He would hit people with it. At least he didn't have an actual hammer.

I didn't know where this was going. Everyone feared the hammer. Because he had a ball-peened hammer. And he just... Watched how I would bring a claw. During training camp, he was switched to defense. His attitude switched over and prompted him to play the position with too much aggression.

And the coach of the 49ers asked him to quit hammering his players. And the hammer stuck and became his nickname. You know what? I'm going to hammer him some more. How about that? That's the coolest way to get in sports annals of history. It's someone who just thought of the meanest way to play. Literally, like what?

The 74 Flyers? Where they figured out... He used his forearm to deliver karate-style blows to the heads of opposing players, especially wide receivers. During Super Bowl I, he garnered national headlines by boasting that he would knock out

both the Green Bay Packers starting receivers. Dude, that guy rules. Two hammers to Boyd and one to Carroll. He has high respect for Boyd. Two hammers. The guy, like if you read that in the paper and you're about to play him the next day, you're just like, you know, I mean, he's got a point. I don't think I can take more than two dude like the the ultimate like team version of that is the 70s flyers where they were like

uh you know the thing about hockey is you're supposed to have a bunch of skilled players but what what if we just get a bunch of fighters and like three really good players and the fighters just pass it to the good player? And then they pick the next best player on the opposing team and you force them into a fight. And if they don't want to fight, you fight them anyway. And then they're just going to lose even harder. Take their bucket off, slam their head on the ice. Like that was when the Russian team refused to play them. That is such a funny story because like generally you think like russians super fucking tough they're way tougher than

canadians and americans they're just you know they're in siberia they're tough as shit but in hockey it's actually the opposite like the european like even russian players they're more finesse they're more skilled they're very very good but back in the 70s the russian team shows up and they are not prepared for the flyers the flyer you left it out didn't they beat like 28 nhl teams first they probably weren't even 28 but they beat all the nhl teams first they beat at least a couple first i think because those teams tried to be like we can out hockey them and then the russian team was like get fucked idiot you're not gonna out hockey russia in the 70s and then Philly just decided, like, we're going to make them wish they didn't come to Philadelphia.

And they did literally winning by forfeit, like the Russian team and the Russian coach. I think it was the Russian coach, not the team. The coach was like, I'm not going to risk all my high tier players to this bullshit. I'm not doing it. That guy hasn't touched the puck all night and there's blood all over his stick. I feel like I should be a Hurricanes fan first because I like it when

the home team has home ice advantage. I can't let go of the Flyers and that is such a proud thing for me. That they beat the fuck out of the Russians duringians in during the cold war was 1976 the russians were kind of having their way with the nhl teams until they met the flyers and they just beat them into submission it yeah their coaches were literally like this isn't even hockey yes that's a real quote that they said yeah this isn't even hockey. They, they tried to stab me with blade.

I think, I think Ty cop that's into that, that, that idea of like players who just like come up with a dirty way to play because there's no rules against it. And I'm not even familiar with his legacy. So Ty Cobb from my hometown, one of the greatest baseball players of all time.

Did he play 400? Is that what he said? I don't remember his records. He had a ton of hits. I do remember that. From my hometown. One of the greatest baseball players of all time. Did he play 400? I don't remember his records. He had a ton of hits. I do remember that. I don't remember his specific records. Oh, fuck. He's way older than that. Born in 1886?

He played from 1905 to like 1928 or something like that. He played for the Royals and the Tigers, I believe. Those are the teams that pop into my head um he played in a time where it was a bit of a gentleman's game and everybody was kind of lollygagging okay nobody was taking the game too seriously because it was a game and we were not making millions of dollars and we're not on tv we're just playing for those guys and the fans and to make enough money to buy some hot dogs tonight, right? Yeah. But he was the kind of person who didn't think like that.

He liked to win. So he was playing at an intensity level that you might see today or maybe even more intense. He would sharpen his cleats until they were weapons. And when he slid into bases, he would slide like a fucking drop kick. He would kick people in the shins and in the stomach and the chest with sharpened steel cleats. And if you wanted to tag him out, just know it's coming.

Just know it's coming. His batting style was like he was a really good hitter in the fact that he would drop in these little hits over the defenseman's heads. He wasn't crushing home runs. He was hitting singles and doubles over the— .366 batting average is ridiculously good, right? It's an incredibly high average. Yeah.

Is that career? His career is.366 batting average. Yeah, that's got to be top top top 25 of all time i'm sure damn that's really yeah that's hilarious dude if you want to watch a fun movie um tommy lee jones played him in the movie and uh they they uh it's pretty fucking good it takes place when tommy jones is where they like start out with him as like an old man and they de-age tommy lee jones and age tommy lee jones enough to like make it like do flashbacks for like when he was playing ball one of the most interesting incidences and um i mostly know this from the film but ty cobb caught a man trying to pickpocket him once on the street clean and

ty cobb pulled out his pistol and beat the man to death dude tycob is awesome what a cool guy so like from my hometown which is royston that's that's where i like was born actually like i grew up mostly in livonia but my my early years were in royston that's where my family's from originally. They're right next to each other. They touch. It's the same county. We have the Ty Cobb Museum. They have paintings of Ty Cobb on local businesses and stuff. There's a water tower with a big painting of him and everything. One of the few ballplayers that you can be a fan of who also killed a man. Ty Cobb is one heck of a ballplayer.

Pistol whipped him to death. Bet 403 times. Holy shit. Taylor said he averaged 366 for his career. That's what he says, and that seems fucking absurd. He played for 23 years. He was batting against plumbers.

Fair, fair, fair, but nonetheless the movie's really good. Some of it is filmed in my hometown as well. Some of the Ty Cobb movie is there. And some of the people I know are extras. Tommy Lee Jones does a really good job of playing Ty Cobb. It's a good movie.

Baseball has a really cool history. It's gone on for so long. If you look up the NHL, like oldest players, it's someone born in like 1890 or something. Baseball. It's like there were guys born in like the 1860s, like 1850s who played.

And there's just something really cool about that, that it's so storied and there's so much stuff. And it was way more popular than any of the other sports back in the day at that time is my understanding. Like baseball was the professional sport. I like baseball. I always have. Do you like baseball movies?

Yeah, I'll watch any kind of sports movie that I like. Bull Durham is really good. A League of Their Own. You got the girls playing during World War II. That's really good. Tom Hanks is the coach. And you've got like name a tough girl like from hollywood back in like the early 90s and she's in it so like rosie o'donnell's in it madonna's in it

and um i can't think of the third lady but like it's really good tom hanks is like this the lady from thelma and louise yeah yeah who's that that's who i can't think of right now it's not well both of them are in separate baseball movies because um i'm thinking of the big blonde one yeah the big blonde one who's is who i can't come up with but the other one is like um was it was in bull durham um with uh with kevin costner and um but but yeah and uh and then there's the one uh gina davis and then field of dreams also with kevin costner clearly he's a big baseball you get the money waiting for you to get the Moneyball. It might be my favorite baseball movie. That is definite.

Of the baseball movies I remember, it's like Angels in the Outfield and Rookie of the Year. Oh, come on. Those are children's movies. I know. I'm talking about when I saw them as a kid. And then the one you just mentioned. Moneyball. Yeah.

I watch Moneyball highlights sometimes on YouTube. You watch a Moneyball highlight, and and before long they're like oh you like money ball here's another one here's another one i watch almost the whole movie jonah hill stole the show in that movie he was he did he got paid like nothing so good really there's a football movie about draft day i can't remember the name of it but it stars a huge star uh that's from field of dreams kevin costner i think that's who it is uh i do like kevin costner he's a terrible director but a decent actor football draft field of dreams was dennis quaid and that's why i've never watched it it's called draft day and it does star kevin

costner and kyle you haven't seen it i think think you would like it. Okay. I'll check it out. Who else? I'm sorry. Who's the conservative comedian who sings I'm an asshole? I have no idea. Dennis Leary, I think.

Okay. I'm not very familiar with him. I like baseball movies. Those are some of my favorites, though. Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, and League of Their Own are probably my three favorites. Moneyball is good, but it's, I don't know, it's almost too new to be included in my classics.

Maybe one day. It's a good movie, though. Don't get me wrong. I like all the actors in it. The Natural's good. The Natural. Oh, Robert Redford? He's also the guy from jeremiah johnson robert

redford's a great actor uh he had a good movie where he's like a prisoner uh in like a military prison and james gandolfini is like the warden and um oh he's like robert redford is like this storied like military commander who like maybe disobeyed an order or something and now he's got to go to military prison and james gandolfini is like a never was kind of military guy. Like, like he never actually served, but he's like a fan boy of Robert Rodriguez of Robert Redford. So when he comes in,

he's like inviting him to his office. He's like, Oh yeah, maybe you could, I've seen this movie. Maybe you could sign this for me or do this or that for me. Like, it's just,

it's an honor to have you here and and and robert redford's just not fucking having it he's just like i don't know about the honor but i'm here you know it's just like like like he's just like straight laced like not not it doesn't want to sign any fucking shit like like i'm here to do my time and they end up it's and they end up like butting heads it's uh yeah, yeah. And then James Gandolfini like hates him because he immediately hates him, you know, a jilted person to him. Yeah.

I've seen that movie. It's good. Gandolfini doesn't have many movies, unfortunately, but that's, that's one of them. That's pretty good. Also,

um, that, that Tarantino movie, well, he wrote, Tarantino wrote this movie. Talking about Redford movies. You're leaving out Indecent Proposal.

That's the big one to me. I like that one. All right. Indecent Proposal hits me hard the big one to me. I like that one. All right. Indecent Proposal hits me hard. I'm wired for monogamy. That's just what's up. The main characters in it are Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore, and they have a picture-perfect marriage. They have these matching wedding rings, and they have dreams. I think Woody Harrelson's a struggling architect.

They're not very wealthy, but he's got potential. They dream. I think they have some land that they want to build on someday and they're just bonded together. Anyway, they find themselves at a casino and Robert Redford's character is an older gentleman, good looking, super duper rich. And he offers them a million bucks to fuck demi more and they're like oh this will make all our dreams come true but we don't want it but it would make all it they do it he fucks her and she likes it. And then they go back. They try to return to their marriage and pretend nothing happened.

But Woody Harrelson can't, he's like stuck with it. He can't, he's just ruined by it to the point where he's not nice to her. Like she was like he was before. So she leaves them and goes with Robert Redford. I'll spoil the movie. He like they become a couple for a little bit. Then he realizes that she's really meant to be with Woody Harrelson. He's like mean to her to I guess an intentional way to get her to leave him. And

then she goes back to Woody Harrelson. And the ending scene is them like holding hands with their matching wedding rings again, but there's this sort of it'll never be the same. Yeah, like uneasiness. He donated all the money he got to some animal care. What a fucking idiot! I was about to say,

he's like, I lost the money on Blackjack. No, I think the way the scene went is Demi Moore and Robert Redford jack no i i think the way the scene went is demi moore and robert redford were raising money for some good wild animal cause to get her attention woody harrelson bought a like bought you know like sponsored an elephant for a million dollars and that's where the money went and uh yeah i don't know. So like sometimes you like a movie because they make you feel good. But I feel like if you really like movies, you like them because they make you feel.

And Indecent Proposal makes me feel bad, which is impressive. Yeah. You ever see Cool Hand Luke? Yeah, I think so. I think I saw it when I was i was very very young i don't remember anything about it that's where he's in like that southern prison and they're trying to break him but he just won't fucking break i have a much lighter topic and i'm curious about kyle you bought a spork did you show it to the show already i remember you telling us about your spork. I am thinking I'm in the market for a spork.

And I wonder. Possibly be. Look at this spork. It unfolds like a tent pole. Is it a long spork? Would you call it? I think it's a normal length spork is what I'm seeing. Why did you buy that?

Yes. Why did you buy a collapsible spork? I know you don't really like camping i want something expensive and yet worse than traditional utensils i wanted a sport i wanted a sport in my life i just wanted you know i wanted a sport in my life in your life i wanted a spork in my life soup inefficiently why don't judge me okay the spork is the perfect utensil first of all uh the sport dominates the spork dominates the spoon. It dominates the spoon.

If it's in here, as long as I can remember how to put it in there. I don't right now, but I've got instructions over there somewhere. Where are they? Where are my instructions? Yeah, here they are.

You need instructions for a spork. I'll memorize it eventually. There's a special way. That way. Okay. Yeah. It's like this. It's like this. Yeah. You know, it's easy to forget. There's like three different ways for things to go. You know, there's a special way. That way? Okay. Yeah, it's like this. It's like this.

Yeah, it's easy to forget. There's like three different ways for things to go. You know, you get it. It looks like there's one way for it to go. Well, that just shows how dumb you are. Clearly. I mean, you don't know how to use a collapsible sport. You haven't trained yet, but I'm, you know.

But why? Shit. You fucking idiot. You know'm... But why? You fucking idiot. Why? It goes in. It went in there. It went in. No, no, no. Lift it back up.

That shit absolutely did not go in. All right. You fucking retard. He's back on YouTube. Oh, this pork. all right all right you fucking reached out i just blown but why why did you buy us i'm in the market for a spork you can't possibly be in them i am i do all this moto i got i got now hold it hold it up on the screen so we can confirm that it's sliding gracefully into the holster i guess right in there yeah look at that spam look at that look at how much time you saved and look it clicks onto your keychain so you can take it anywhere right so now this is part of my life i'm a i'm a spork man now motorcycle guy a lighter thing but he went with the spork so so what made you buy a

spork kyle you know man i'm just buying stuff for my trip to colorado and i was thinking you know i'm probably gonna eat some like some cheesy potatoes or something i'd like a spork for that you know and uh and and and it'd be pretty cool be pretty pretty chill i think everybody'd be blown away if i was just like popped up in my sport. Everyone's going to certainly be blown away. I bought all sorts of things. I got my lighter. Now that is sick.

That is sick. I got myself a Zippo there for lighting things. Will you be able to have a knife? One of one. Yeah, I can have knives swords black powder weaponry cannons that's right mortars swords bows arrows ninja weapons shuriken how about that thing warf has oh the batleth oh the batleth is already being made don't worry i

found a 900 batleth on etsy i'm goingy. I'm going to be a student of the blade. Champion standing. I just looked up what a bat left is. I was going to make fun of it. This is actually pretty cool. Zach, can you help us out with this? I've been training my bat left technique since I was a young man. Trust me.

I wouldn't bat left right now. How do you use it? You hold it and then occasionally swing it out? It depends what kind of foe you're facing, I'm sure. It would depend on the foe and what kind of weaponry he has.

What race he is? I don't mean color. I mean literally race. A bolean or another Klingon warrior perhaps. The same thing as whatever Worf is. He's a Klingon warrior, perhaps. He's the same thing as whatever Worf is.

He's a Klingon. He's a half Klingon. He's not. He's 100% Klingon. Oh, his kid's half and half. Actually, his kid's three quarters, I believe. Klingons are super strong. Alexander, yes.

Klingons are super strong and resilient to damage. Yeah, they have redundant body chemistry or organs. So they have multiple organs. I think they have three lungs maybe, and their heart is encased in bone and stuff. They may even have two hearts. They've got this ridiculous redundant body.

So they're just super hard to kill. Super hard to kill. They have a warrior warrior race kind of like spartans you know they're they're sort of trained to be warriors from from you're selling me on on star trek now klingons are fucking great uh they're my they're my favorite race in in all of star trek they're really fun dwarf is my favorite character in all star trek um so yeah i'm getting myself a bat left and uh you know start training of course i'm sure there's a star trek uh martial arts school near me.

I can learn that thing Kirk does with a double fist swing. He does. And maybe the Vulcan nerve pinch as well. A few different martial arts there combined. I'm looking forward to it. Who's the Vulcan again? Vulcans don't have the forehead ridges. That's the...

No, they have the pointy ears and they're all about logic. They don't really have emotions. They have very powerful emotions, but they keep them suppressed. Well, it depends what series you're talking about. If you're asking which Vulcan, you're probably thinking of Spock. He's kind of the original Vulcan. Interesting.

I've been watching a lot of Impractical Jokers, a lot of lore there also. Not really, no. Worf is pure Klingon, like Kyle said, raised by humans, which makes him a little conflicted. Yeah, it's true. He was raised by Russians, actually. Barely him. And like Cypher or something like that. I'm trying to think.

The Shevchenko. Yeah, the Shevchenko's raised him. And they also raised his son, Alexander, for a short time because the actor that played him was so bad. They just had to get him off the show for a while after his mother was killed by by a rival Klingon. And it was a it was a good that was a good episode. His mother has an episode early on where she's wearing this like I call it a camel toe leotard because that's what it does. There's just fat camel toe. It's one of my episodes. Yeah, it's good stuff.

Try to find like I mean, I mean, I mean, shit, we got a little time here. I know we're six minutes over, but let's just inject. Let's see. Worf's mate. Worf's pussy. Is that what I should? Her name is Kalar. So let me find her camel toe.

There's a lot of porn. Is it W-H-A-R-F? Is that how you spell it? There's a lot of camel toe in Star Trek lore. W-O-R-F, I think. W-O-R-F is, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one doesn't really display it the way, I like it really laid out there for me.

I'm not finding it off the top of my head, but the scene is... This is... Yeah, there's some good stuff in Star Trek. Yeah, what I'm seeing is definitely not even Star Trek. Yeah, that's just pornography. Maybe if I search Klingon camel toe, maybe that'll get it for me.

Hudson camel toe, maybe that'll get it for me. Hudson camel toe. That is a big camel toe, Kate. Well, now I'm onto this. Send a link. Hang on, I got you. Oh, that is a fat camel toe she's got. Don't cover it up. We want to see.

I'm not seeing the Star Trek camel toe. Filthy fucking whore. I used to watch her mom all the time. She's a space slut. Wait, who are we talking about? Kate Hudson. Here's your mom.

What's her name? Kimmy Hudson. No, no, no. It's a famous actress that Kurt Russell was married to. Goldie Hawn. I think she's dead. No, she's just old. I don't think so.

Goldie Hawn's one of those women that looks a little weird because she's had a lot of plastic surgery. But where I contend, I don't know if she looks worse than she would have. Yeah, she doesn't look good, though. She looks horrible. That we can agree on. Let's take another fresh look at

it. Can you find any 2021 Goldie Hawn, Zach, and people can judge? Oh, this is great news. I thought Kurt Russell was dead. Why would you think that? Just, you know you get lost in the rigmarole of life and you think certain people i mean it was in hateful eight

just a few years ago and uh hateful eight was like what's six years ago you have to be careful on goldie hawn pictures she has a few like ugly faces that just look like she's rude don't close your mouth goldie whatever you do is that it when i see her smiling and she knows her picture's being taken it's like all right a little weird but not the worst yeah so that i would say that falls under this category the picture that's up a little weird but not like mustache super bad yeah yeah his mustache fucking rules but her face way overdone my mom got that and like her last years because she was like all about like Botox and shit. And it got to the point where like she'd smile and like you need women will think I don't have wrinkles in my forehead.

But like you look like the fucking saw puppet when you smile without those wrinkles. I'd like to play a game. The good thing about Botox is you can try it on and stop like it goes away it's not like um there's fillers you can get like when women puff out their lips yeah yeah that goes away too it goes away over time it oh so i looked into it it migrates and then if you haven't done a couple of times you just look fucked up and you have to go to someone to remove it uh botox on the other hand it's just like a numbing type thing that makes your muscles not tense up and create those things paralyzes the

nerve or something it can long term do that shit know that. I think that's if they make mistakes and put it in up. Assuming that it works like it normally does, that definitely hurts. Zach says it takes six to 12 months for the filler to dissolve on its own. I feel like I've seen it and women have it removed because it migrated in a bad way and stuff. So I didn't make it up. I don't know.

Clearly the science hasn't figured this stuff out enough yet, and you should not be a first adopter. Let someone else storm the beach and take the good stuff. I saw this TikTok trend where they take their three to four months, and they do a little spot of glue. They do a little

spot of glue, and they put it right here. Like in the bottom, you're like, whatever this is called. And then they take their lip, and they push it up till it sticks and then it makes their top lip look do this like stinky duck face they look like they're snarling at you that's stupid to be honest like so the um i think i saw it too on reddit and from tiktok reposted. And I was like, okay, it was like DIY or something like that. This looks terrible. Why would anyone do that?

But I saw it and I'm like, you know, if you have really thin lips, this doesn't make it perfect, but I might take this over what was there before. I wonder if we could find that. I don't know. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Not into it. But maybe if you had really thin lips. I might just do it to a girl to laugh at her.

That'd be funny. There's always that. Yeah. Well, oh, Kyle, how long is your spork? Is it longer than the utensils in your drawer? I think so. I think so. I don't have like a...

I'm shopping for a spork. I bought utensils. I'm not sure i love them it is like full length like like it's it's at least as long as like a standard like like implement when you're camping have you ever seen the dehydrated food that campers get yes okay in that bag yeah in that bag and if you don't have a long utensil then you get it on your fingers and your knuckles and stuff as you finish it off. I'm not sure your spork's long enough.

I don't know. Yeah, you wasted... How much was the spork? It was $30, wasn't it? Fuck, I don't know. I can look real quick on my Amazon. I don't think it was $30. I think it was probably more like $15. I used to have one of those titanium sporks.

Kicking yourself for losing it right I literally am I can see the package it came in it's that I would not spend $30 on a spork I know you would spend $29.95 on a spork there's no way I would do that

I'm looking at my past purchases. Let's see. I spent $80 on light bulbs yesterday. Well, that's reasonable. You need light bulbs. You saw that light bulb. It's fucking sick. It's that one I found on Reddit that it's $30. $29.95.

Well, you know what? When you're in the market for a good sport, expense is no... Money's no object. Money's no object. You're just like, hey, I need a good sport in my life. You'll be able to give that to your grandchildren. I'll be able to...

Unless this rubber thing that allows it to do this bendy shit just breaks after like 30 uses. Or $30, it'll never break. 10 years later. You didn't fold it right. The spoon part has to be in the middle. Remember?

The way you did it before. Now turn it towards the camera. Yeah, see, you have to put the middle part. The spoon has to be the middle part. You got to do the two fold. The spoon has to be the middle part. You got to do the two-fold. Taylor's figured out how to operate. The spoon is absolutely not the middle part. It's like this.

Well, I mean, evidence is on my side with the slide in. Hang on. Yeah. Immediately. Fucking stupid. I got it. No. No.

Who's the star of Home Alone? Don't engage. I'll let you know as soon as you finish that fucking sport. I'll keep my hands up and then say his name after you put that. You're giving up, aren't you? You got to be right now. It's Macaulay Culkin, Kyle. It's Macaulay Culkin. hands up and then say his name after you put that... You're giving up, aren't you? It's Macaulay Culkin, Kyle. It's Macaulay Culkin.

And then this goes back. He's putting the spoon in the middle, Taylor. There's only three movable parts. You'd be surprised. But they can each go two ways. There we go. Look at that. There we go. Look at how convenient that was. You just keep these with you and you don't have any problem, right?

You know, you just always keep these on you. Look, I got these candy pockets right here. Bam. Never will be an issue. Just, I won't. You never know when there's money in a pocket like this. It's like a bomber jacket. Is that what that's called?

Zach found a great extendable dinner fork, frisbee dessert, long handled fork cutlery. a bomber jacket is that what that's called zach found a great extendable dinner fork for zoot dessert long handled fork cutlery it's 25 inches long i want this i just wish it was a spork instead yeah pull that out the campfire and start shoveling some fucking food in dude i would fucking pull that out at dinner time and flex on everybody show them all right i kind of want it now that's fucking if you go to that Amazon listing, go to the third photo in the Amazon listing and it shows someone stealing a dumpling

off someone else's plate. I'll have that. Oh, I'll have that. It does. I'll have some of what... It's telescoping, isn't it? I'll have what he's having. Oh, shit, it's telescoping. I just realized that. It's telescoping isn't it Oh shit it's telescoping I just realized that

It's a Yeah it's fantastic It gets so long And they don't have spork options You save 5% It's only $10.79 Dude utensil talk Needs to be a tent pole topic on this show

Next week all utensils 4 hours get ready boys Chopstick hour Alright that's coming Utensil talk needs to be a tentpole topic on this show. Next week, all utensils, four hours. Get ready, boys. Chopstick hour. All right, that's coming. That's coming. Okay. Other utensils?

Forks, spoons, chopsticks, and the rest. Knives. Knives. Never forget the knives. You ever see one of those things you use to shave butter? It's like a little thing. It's kind of like a cheese grater butter? It's like a little thing. It's kind of like a cheese grater, but it's in a little scoop form.

You shave a little butter on there and spread it. With the water on there? Yeah. Like a cheese cutter almost? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right, that's enough of this. Yeah, yeah. This gets fucking stopped now.

All right, PKA 561.