Painkiller Already - PKA 562 W/ Josh Wolf: Skinny Dipping Story, AMA Questions, Missing White Women

Episode Date: September 25, 2021

pka 562 our guest comedian josh wolf taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew and express vpn couple of wonderful sponsors we'll hear more about them josh thanks for coming back thanks for having me i appreciate it what's going on you guys i like your hot tub man thank you thank you i this is actually hot tub four there are three other ones i have in my folder too. Do they look less rapey than that one? No, just the rapiest. This is how I lure 11-year-olds into my lair. That is a...

That doesn't look designed to appeal to adults. There's a rubber ducky in it for Christ's sake. Hell yeah. I'm pretty sure this is a hot tub from one of like the the borderline porn twitch streams but i don't know i don't know borderline porn to twitch stream yeah yeah you're not in the twitch world this is like old hat now but it was uh basically twitch had a problem of they would have a bunch of content creators go in like the just chatting and they would do nothing but like wear a really like skimpy bikini and sit in a hot tub and do things

like give me ten dollars and i'll write your name on my ass and twitch decided well we don't want our whole just chatting just dominated by these hot tub content creators and so they made a whole secondary one yeah so twitch they try to be progressive as best they can and what's appropriate for someone who's doing a workout stream is not appropriate for someone who's like in their office studio doing a stream so they're like i don't know if i was sitting here in a bikini it would mean a different thing than if i was at the beach so they created a hot tub and is it hot tub and beach or something like that? Or hot tub and swimming? It's just a bikini.

Yeah. No, no, no. The, uh, the, what's the category? The category. Yeah. It's like hot tubs, beaches and something like that. But it's really just, you can wear a bikini in this one. Right.

Because you wouldn't expect a beach stream to have a, go ahead. The fuck cares if they're in a bikini in their hot tub? Oh, I care. I'm very much seeking out bikini screen. We care very much. We're very close. What the girl wears is essential to why I watch her. We're on team bikini here.

Don't get us wrong. What you've got to keep in mind is Twitch is a website with lots of child viewers. There's lots of kids who pop on there, and they're going to watch their favorite Minecraft guy build a castle. But then they look over here and there's a 22-year-old chick with big boobs rubbing them and licking a microphone with an ear on it, tongue-fucking it. And they're like,

for some reason I like this more. For some reason I like this more. I don't understand because I'm nine, but something about this is drawing me. By the way fuck minecraft guys do you know what i found out today what i'm so happy i'm actually on this podcast with you guys good did you know that some dudes orgasm out their butthole i just learned that a few weeks ago what the fuck is going on the cum comes out of their ass yes and it's not somebody else's they didn't

put it there that's they're talking about something else no this is this isn't true wait how would you unless you have a serious problem internally i don't think you should i feel like doctors would have discovered this i believe it's her to as a prostate orgasm yes but that but that is an orgasm that is acquired that isn't that's an orgasm. Yes, but that is an orgasm that is acquired. That is an orgasm that is acquired through prostate stimulation, though. There is certainly nothing coming out of the butthole. Ideally.

I think there are things coming out of the butthole. I will bet you as much money as you would like. Name your price. This is an area where we've done dramatic uh there is do you mean you don't think any fluid comes out so i read the article this dude was orgasming out of his butthole for two years it took him two years to go see the doctor and i was like two years

by his girlfriend after having gay sex and he's like i'm just coming it's my it's called santoro now let me tell you this is my friend first time i jerked off and something came out of my butthole i'd call the doc i'd call the doctor before i cleaned myself up i'm like do you need to come over and look at it because i'll leave it here if you need me to but why is that happening to me i mean that's that's a serious medical problem i think kyle knows a lot about this but i mean it's just i promise nothing's coming out of anyone's butthole that's not like i don't know some natural fluids just happened to come out because they were like really giving it to you really giving it to you like maybe they're pooping or some water's coming out or something like that's coming out of there but but like there's no like ejaculate coming out of buttholes

like this isn't like when a woman squirts yes which is which is in fact what happens when a woman like loses control of her of her urine and pisses all over your bed and then you got to get a whole new casper mattress and it's a whole fucking problem because now we do your old casper mattress i think it's a thousand dollars now it now we'll do your old Casper mattress. I think it was $1,000. Now it smells like pee. The garbage man doesn't want to take it away. You can't burn it. You're in the city limits. What do you do?

Hypothetically. Kyle. He's an archery target. You know, you squirting urine guys are like the tomato is a fruit dude. Stop ruining it for everybody. Why are you throwing facts in it there are dudes all over the place we're like she squirted not she peed on my face she squirted and why do you you're like you're ruining it you're ruining it's like next thing you're going to tell me is that lesbians

don't don't scissor and then i'll be real mad i've seen lesbian scissor i know that's a real thing and i've seen and i've had plenty of women squirt in my bed. And while I'm happy for them, I'm sad for me. Because now I have to learn. I'm not going to be like, ew! I'm not going to shame anybody. But at the same time, I'm like, you could have warned me that that's a thing you do.

Does it take you out of the moment and then you're just like, as they're squirting, you're fast forwarding to the amount of laundry you have to do? I don't know if I can afford to flip this. I'm like a Vietnam vet in the helicopter heading back to the fire vase. I'm just just like dead face. Just like, well, it's happening again. I'll finish you off.

And but there's a lot of Clorox I'm going to need tonight. You have a room dedicated for ladies like this. Yeah. Like picture something. Rubber everywhere. Decorate, right? Just plastic sheets all over the place, sex swing in the middle. And she's not there. She's there to have a good time.

Are we not going to address the very low-key, humble brag of I've had plenty of women squirt in my bed? I mean, I have. If you haven't had plenty of women squirting your bed either you are a monogamous kind of gentleman nothing's wrong with that or you need some tips and i can help you or your ladies have better control i've been married maybe you're not with the kind of women who have bladder control issues like me when i see a lady show up with that depends panty line i know she's about to bust off like a fire hydrant. That's my girl right there.

Before I fuck a woman, I like her to drink two quarts of apple juice. I really need to go. Shut up. Do it for me. Oh, you're going to go. But I do agree with Josh about the there are a lot of guys who like the idea of the squirting being some mystical fluid you can't put your finger on. Yeah. And to, you know, let them enjoy that.

Let them think it's not pee as they smell the ammonia. I want to ask those guys, where do you think it's stored when they're not squirting it? Like, where do you think that that squirt fluid, that it is, by the way, for the guys, for guys out there who are like. Kyle, ask me. Ask me. Where's it stored? In the vagina. In the vagina. In the vagina.

They're just walking around. Eating the pussy. It's in the vagina, Kyle. Don't you know anything? It's right in the vagina. That's what it comes out of, and that's what it's in, the vagina. How is it in hundreds of years of biology,

scientists, doctors, et cetera, haven't discovered this mystical storage area and delivery source right like if it's not coming from the urethra then where it is oh it's a hundred percent urethra that is not why hasn't that thing been found like if it's if it's not just pee if they're not just peeing on you then you'd think we would discover where the squirt comes from. Yeah, it's certainly pee. It's a thousand times pee. There's nothing else it can be. It's not from her prostate. I don't agree because

it doesn't smell like urine. How's it taste? It's salty. Well, here's the thing. I've never tasted urine before, so I can't tell you if it tastes like urine or not. But you just did. Believe me, you have. yeah believe me you have you have you like walking around your bedroom later like look we don't have a cat

this is a perfect example it's not p this is a perfect example of how men take care of women's like uh's like their body image and stuff when they're in a relationship with them and women don't always follow the same thing. Like you've never heard a man talk about how some woman he dated had a loose pussy. But you always see some scallywag on the internet.

Yeah, he had a little dick or something like that. Yeah, some scallywag. My ex-boyfriend had the smallest penis in the 70s to the end of his plank the only thing you'll get from him is scurvy yeah you never see it I peed all over him you never see it imagine if like when I came I also

just urinated all over your your loofah or whatever you know you're not loofah you're bad you're bad like you'd fucking have a women would have a fucking meltdown they'd tell their friends yeah he pissed all over me it was disgusting can you imagine like I'm gonna come and you just

piss you just piss all over her all over the bed the curtains why haven't you done that it's really hard to see with an erection it could be done but it requires a lot of muscle control Yeah you just gotta do it upside down I'll try that Do a handstand I do planks across the toilet

And pretend I'm Superman Sometimes I'll put a hand on the wall And like kick my feet way out So that like my dick is pointed At a perfect angle to actually be able to piss With an erection like I wake up and I gotta piss so bad. Not me. Flat, support him in the middle, two hands forward.

Sometimes I just do a flag. You know, I do. Sometimes I pee just directly into the shower. I mean, I would have no problem with that. Into the shower head? It's all over the place. i mean fight fire with fire does everybody everybody pees in the shower some people just lie about it right i think so who doesn't pee

in the shower some people will be like that's gross i don't pee in the shower i detail you missed an opportunity for a joke what you say is doesn't everyone go to the bathroom in the shower and when everyone admits to it you're like yeah but like forcing it down the drain is the hard part right all right we'll do a little post-editing. Does everybody go to the shower, the bathroom, and the shower? Couldn't even get it right the second time. Yeah, you had a second chance, and you fucked it up. That's what I keep loading up for whatever the topic is.

It's like fucking two there. Yeah, stopping it down the drain is a real mess. I did have a friend of mine in college who pooped in the shower and tried to push it down the drain with his feet. What an asshole. It seems like that would work. It didn't work. Oh, it worked.

No! It clogged up the drain. He's got inferior plumbing. Mine can take a load. Oh, my God. You shit in your shower? I always shit in the shower, of course. You got to go.

There's a drain there. When you got to go, you got to go. No, no, no. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. shower of course you gotta go there's all this drain there when you gotta go you gotta go no no no no wait a second wait a second wait a second wait a second wait one fucking second yeah you guys are just gonna let him say when you gotta go when you gotta go you shouldn't shower if i'm at a hotel or something you know it's not my dream that's how i stick it to the man at hilton wait a fucking hey do you know what else is right there next to the drain in the shower the fucking toilet yeah i gotta get off

i gotta get out of the shower now i'm dripping water everywhere it's a big mess it's disgusting yeah he doesn't want to leave a mess it is gross to like what kind of animal are you sitting on a toilet while you're all wet I will say wiping your butt when you're wet is a terrible oh it's horrible that's why being in a hotel helps yeah I just shit in the tub

I am of course joking but like at the hotel like when you've got like that pile of like used cum towels and and sex rags and stuff and like i i always just like try to like wrap the dirtiest part of it into a ball and like i almost want to leave a note pick this up carefully use gloves by the way i have aids they know what the pile of towels underneath the sink mean yeah I hope they do I hope Rosemarie isn't coming in there all like going raw dog

and just like getting in there oh let me see how clean they are oh no do you need to shower four times a day it smells like bleach it must be clean by the way Kyle what accent was that Do you need to shower four times a day? No. It smells like bleach. It must be clean. No.

By the way, Kyle, what accent was that? Oh, that's Rosemarita's accent. She is from far away. Do not ask where Rosemarita comes from. I couldn't quite place the accent on that one. She is struggling with the visa process. Yeah. It's basically the cleaning lady from Family Guy. place the accent on that one. He is struggling with the visa process. Yeah. He is from South America.

He is a family guy. He is from South America via Eastern Europe. Yeah. He has a little time in Asia. Yeah, one of those. He is from the United States. I represent all of the immigrant women who clean up your cum. From Ukraine.

Sort of a hodgepodge. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's what the women who work at hotels I go to sound like. Spot on. You talk to them? Give them a little Italian there at the end. Mamma mia, that's a lot of cum. On the towel.

They know exactly what it is. The worst disaster ever at a hotel was when i fucked that chick um i know that that lovely young prostitute who who was on her period and had the diaphragm in and i knocked the diaphragm loose damn she needed money and like the next thing i knew like it looked like a murder scene in the bed and uh and and i told she was like freaking out like embarrassed and i was like look i'm not gonna make a big deal out of this i'm gonna go wash up but you are in charge of calling downstairs and getting me new sheets and blankets because i can't be responsible for this were you nervous having the blood of a

prostitute all over you for like stds or anything nah she was so careful she sucked my dick with a condom on so i figured she she was clean as could be that doesn't even i've never had my dick sucked with a condom on but it seems like I'd rather just jack off. It was awful. I didn't know it was going to be a condom blowjob, but she's sucking my dick when she pops the condom on, and I'm like, oh, wait, wait, no. I thought there was going to be oral. Oh, there is. You're going to suck my dick with a condom on.

And at some point, she's like, is it going to get any harder than this? And I'm like, I don't know. I've never had a blowjob with a condom on. This is the worst thing I've ever experienced. I literally have to be mental. I close my eyes a blowjob with a condom on. This is the worst thing I've ever experienced. I literally have to be mental. I close my eyes like I'm fucking Neo trying to believe. And try to

force myself to have a matrix bending erection. And then I'm able to fuck her finally. But it was awful. Terrible experience. She never told me about the period until there was blood everywhere. That's unprofessional.

She's got a diaphragm in, so it's holding the blood back. I knocked that loose. Is that how that works? I hope you left that on the Yelp review. Three stars. Three stars. Three stars.

There were two prostitutes, and I believe I picked the blonde i should have went with a brunette clearly if they if i had known that one of them was going to ruin my bed that night i would have gone with the brunette were you window shopping what do you mean there was two of them you know there was two to choose from they were they working together like prostitutes often do that they work in pairs that way you know if anything like bad happens to one they've got backup or whatever. I figured it was a website you were looking at.

Nah. If you go to fancy hotels, there's always a couple pretty ladies in cocktail dresses kind of work in the bar area. They're almost always prostitutes. What? Yeah. Now, I will say, my friends and I used to play a game in Vegas when I used to go. Um, and we'd go to one of the bars, one of the center bars in the casino and the game was spot the hooker. And if you found a woman who you thought was a hooker, you had to go up and proposition her. And my friend was so bad at the game. and my friend was so bad at the game. I saw him get slapped.

I saw him get a drink thrown on him because, you know, the one mistake he kept making, we finally had to tell him. We were like, dude, you keep approaching women who have big purses. Hookers do not carry big purses. Don't they have equipment that they need to keep on them? No, that's all built in. They're not carrying people. That's hilarious.

But I would have guessed they had lube and several condoms. I think just one condom, money, room key. Yeah, it's a small package. Maybe a knife or something. There's no way I'd be a prostitute if I don't have a fucking chink. Like a little gun or something? A little Derringer? Yeah'd be a prostitute if I don't have a fucking chink. Like a little gun or something? A little Derringer? Yeah, maybe a gun too. I don't know. What's scarier?

Be honest. What's scarier if you're in a hotel room with a stranger? A gun or a knife? A gun. I think knife's scarier. Wait, am I stuck in there? I can't leave the room? I mean, you can. This isn't like a magical hotel room. You're in a scenario where you're with my answer kyle i think if there's a dude in the room it's a knife if it's a chick it's the gun here's why i think it's the knife

no matter what i think that people are much more likely to like cut you a little than they are to pull the trigger on a gun because like like i feel like consequences yeah i feel like consequences of a knife for them as far as like the knife wielder are like I feel like consequences of a knife for them, as far as like the knife wielder are lower. They're like, first of all, this is silent, right? Like, like maybe we're already in a scenario where like, he can't tell on me cause I'm a, I'm a prostitute. And like, I said it was a hundred, but now it's 200 and he's going to fucking pay or

whatever. And like, like she might poke you a little with her dirty my wife or daughter a knife and put them in the same room with me and aggression i come out with either nothing or something that requires a band-aid well i'm not talking about a lovely sophisticated lady i don't mean to go all big time on you i'm talking about i can kick anyone in this i'm talking about rose marina woody woody i've never seen your wife so i don't know what she looks like and you and i have only met on computer wrists okay you and i have only met over the computer three or four times don't blow my lies i tell people otherwise i'm telling you right now

your wife goes into a room with a knife and you you're coming out with some holes i definitely agree like you've seen those clips we've talked about this before where someone's in like a white shirt and white pants and the other person has a sharpie and it's like no no no no i'm on woody's toenails without my help i'm on woody's team i don't see her i'm on woody's team here um look good two on two never overestimate never overestimates a woman's a woman's like physical abilities when it comes to combat okay never do that all right when you see those those things where it's it's it's a guy with a sharpie and a guy with a white t-shirt the person with the sharpie is a man okay

i'd love to i'd love to run the scenario with a woman um where she's got the sharpie and she's trying to cut me and i'm and i'm fucking just fucking grabbing her little wrist so hard that like i can squeeze it and she just drops the fucking sharpie right grab her wrist kick her ankle and have her be like i didn't think that was allowed in the rules of this you know like i'll tell you with with risk control i can take her down look i've beaten a lot of women in my time i'm telling you they can't do shit about it about yeah get on my level in this topic by the way yeah and uh yeah you guys yeah overestimating your knife fighting ability i agree you don't have to have any skill i won't have a knife i'm unarmed i mean yeah i'll have a knife 10 seconds i'm doing that steven seagal shit where i take my jacket off and i roll it up on one hand and by the way the white t-shirt pant

sharpie thing is great and all but i'm a little less careful when someone's trying to get my white shirt dirty than i am if somebody's holding a knife so i mean we can run that test all you want but as aggressive as you think you're gonna be when somebody's got a knife i think you're less aggressive and they're more aggressive I would go straight like don't stab me and throw towels at them trying to put the mattress onto them I'm ripping the bar I would absolutely run into the bathroom

tear off the towel holder and just be like alright that's all I can think of I'm pretty sure that thing weighs like 6 ounces but still I like it I'll be speedy with it. Maybe you have a higher quality towel holders. That's possible.

Yeah. It's because I'm staying at the Marriott. You're staying at Chuck's eatery. For $14 a night. I stay at places called like Knight's Finn because they got removed from the franchise. They have their license to get away one too many times like the marriott representative comes there and they're like we just can't associate

all right well then we're gonna be chucks overnight how about that and it's like i can only the police can stop you now you know what um so completely different topic here um do you remember the guy who boarded the the flight and he was wearing the Burger King crown and and he was being incredibly racist and he's like screaming. He's like he's he's mad at an African-American lady and he's screaming at the top of his lungs. Get that inward bitch off the plane. And they're like, whoa, you know, it's so over the top. He's got a Burger King hat on. He's wearing one of those Burger King crowns. How long ago? You haven't seen this video?

Is the woman he's angry with an employee or a fellow passenger? It's hard to tell, but he's hilarious. Because you can tell he's... The racism isn't what's hilarious. The fact that he's clearly a troll is what's hilarious. Because he kind of grins at the guy recording, like they're so upset. Like, like they, anyway, he got banned from all aircraft that exist. And, but what's interesting on like a cultural level,

Burger King no longer makes the crowns. So you can't get them anymore. Cause I was thinking it would be really funny. Cause I'm flying next week to be wearing one of those crowns and like, like take a little selfie and pop it in the discord like guys about to take off and like be wearing the crown be wearing the same t-shirt he had the same fucking uh covid mask and everything i can't get a burger king crown it would be funny if i took this guy for a tandem paramotor flight just to stick it to the man back in the skies bitch i think he's got a face tattoo so he's this isn't the first strange thing he's done

no wait a second you can't get a burger king crown anymore no i've tried so hard like i called burger king uh i was like do you guys have the crowns like no we don't we don't we don't carry the crowns i got an etsy because i thought maybe somebody might be like making some bootleg crowns can't get them there um i i get a Burger King crown on Amazon right now? No. I went on Amazon and they had bootleg ones. They're clearly not... I can tell. That's not the Burger King crown. You can get an original BK

Burger King crown for $70. Actually, it's $69.69, so that seems like a joke. Is it on eBay? It's on eBay, yeah. I thought so, yeah. I mean, it looks like it's in great mint condition, it says. Oh, only worn once. Man, that was the only good thing about Burger King as a kid was the crown because McDonald's blew the pants off their food.

Everywhere else blows the pants off Burger King's food. It's real bad. Yeah, the crown was fun. They didn't even think Burger King didn't have the fun playhouses either. Do you think McDonald's burgers are better than burger king's burgers no i don't yeah i don't like burger i think the taste i think the whopper is so much better than the quarter pounder without a doubt infinitely better okay the whopper is better than the big mac sure but overall at least the meat at mcdonald's like has that consistent salty low quality flavor like

burger king is weird i like that that smoky flame broiled smell. I think the Whopper beats any burger that McDonald's has. What is on the Whopper that tastes like that? Just carcinogens of some sort? Yeah, it's flame broiled. They've got flames underneath. The guy in the back cooking smokes.

It's char. He dumped his ashes on the burger. That's what it is. It's awful. I think it's char he dumped his ashes on the burger that's what it is I think it's char and I really like it it's got sort of a backyard barbecue kind of like taste and smell to it and I like it like I can smell it right now

and I'm a little hard I really like those burgers obviously they pale in comparison to like a five guys burger or like any place that like is like a burger bar that has a high-quality ingredient. Entirely, yeah. I also like that they put mayo on their burger because I like mayo on burgers. McDonald's doesn't do that.

They used to do it. McDonald's had a burger called the Big and Tasty. It was a limited-time thing that went away. So there's a chicken sandwich wars now where most restaurants, like fast food places, are putting their best foot forward. I wonder how the Burger King chicken sandwich is. It's not good. I had one the other day. After you and I talked about these chicken sandwiches, you were like,

I bet Burger King's chicken sandwich is good. And I looked it up and it's called like, it's got a funny name. It's like a McChicking or something sandwich. It's called like a Chick King sandwich or something like that. And the picture of it. disagree that's not a funny name at all yeah and not only that even if it was the best tasting thing of all time on principle i'm not eating that fucking sandwich

honey meals i i ordered one and it was very tiny like it looked nothing like in the picture it's this big piece of chicken that's like hanging out around the bun, two inches on every side and really nicely breaded. You get it. It's one of those microwavable patties that you would get for a penny. What do you guys think about the... What do you guys think about the... Because I live in

Nashville now. I don't know if you guys know that. What do you guys think about the hot chicken craze? I've lovedville hot chicken for a long time you got to make it the right way though you use uh cayenne and you use lard and i love fried chicken so i'm sure i would love it yeah oh the hot chicken is so good it's so good not so good for my butthole but real good for my mouth hole yeah it's it's really good i like spicy chicken and so like like uh it's been a long time since i hole. Yeah, it's really good. I like spicy chicken.

It's been a long time since I've had it because it's terrible for you. But yeah, it's like a fried chicken sandwich dipped in this sauce and the sauce is composed of equal parts lard, which is pig fat and cayenne pepper. And it's really spicy and really fucking tasty.

It's good shit. I'm on board for it. Spicy chicken, that's a big a big crate hot chicken is a big craze in nashville right now i thought that would just be everyone it's called nashville hot chicken it's like a national craze like it's everywhere like there's tons of recipes on youtube like all like the big content creators have made like a nashville hot chicken sandwich it's good shit it's like dripping with sauce yeah it depends like you can get the the hot hot one um is out of my league like it's not but but i can do that medium and it is tasty man here's the thing usually when people say hot i'm gonna avoid it just because hot they go hot with no flavor this is hot with flavor i don't like things hot just for hot sake

yeah agreed i agree with you yeah like there's a big difference between like a really tasty spicy chicken sandwich and like oh let's get this what the one chip challenge or whatever the fuck that is where it comes in a coffin and it's like yeah first of all i'm not spending 22 on one chip that's absurd and second like i've never seen somebody eat it in one a second. Nope. No, it's a punishment. No, I like spicy stuff. I like my eyes to be watering.

If I got to blow my nose, that's okay. But if I have to stop multiple times during eating a meal and just like recover, that's too hot. I agree with you. I agree with you. If it's so hot that it changes the smell of your urine, it's too hot. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I like Indian food, like real and Thai food, like pretty fucking hot. Um, Indian food can get there. Yeah. Like real bad. Yeah. I order when I, when I order like Thai food, I order it loud, hot. And it's a, it is pretty stupid hot. It's probably hotter than most people would like, but I kind of like that.

It like I eat fast and I eat small meals. And so it's like, is pretty stupid hot it's probably hotter than most people would like but i kind of like that it like i eat fast and i eat small meals and so it's like this will slow me down this will let me savor this meal a little bit have you ever gone to like a thai place i've done this so many times and they're like what level of heat and i'm like spicy and they're like spicy or regular and like every time i'm like a little more than thai spicy a little more than just because i like undercutting their belief oh that it's going oh this guy can't handle and then i'm over there like see listen to how clean my breath is breathing great not even enjoying it but i can't let that guy who forgot about me immediately get a get a leg up i can't i i i rely on their judgment yeah i wanted spicy thai spicy white person spicy yeah white spicy well what white spicy english white or italian white let's go with

level of spice you know when i was in new zealand um there was some a bunch of like it's the first time i've ever had the indian food just tasted different than here and when i was talking to michael it tastes so different the guy said where you from i said america and he goes oh yeah you have american indian food and i go what's the difference he goes have you eaten spicy indian food over there and i said yeah and he goes do you want to try some of mine? And I was like, sure. And he goes, okay. Yo, it, it was like, it touched my tongue. And right away I knew, oh, I've made a big mistake in life right now.

Like I have, this is the, do you have a gallon of milk that I could shove in my mouth hole right now? Like that, I got a gallon of milk that i could shove into my mouth hole right now like that i gotta gargle with that like i would lick a bar of soap right now to coat my tongue like that seems like it would but it feels like it might work would he actually yeah the oils that are in the the the pepper i saw apparently sugar works i i think i talked about this before i saw gordon ramsay on that what's the youtube channel where they eat progressively hotter ones the hot ones apparently sugar works I think I talked about this before I saw Gordon Ramsey on that what's the YouTube channel where they eat progressively hotter wings

yeah so he gets to like hot wing number six or something and pulls a glazed donut out of his pocket he came prepared as a way to counter the heat this reminded me we were talking about the Thai thing when I was like

I think I was probably like 14 or something, and I was in Jamaica with my family on vacation. And you know how you can walk down the beach in a place like Jamaica, and eventually you get to the end of the resort beach, and it just becomes the normal beach. And they have these walk-in markets, which is like a bunch of chintzy garbage that you don't really want. But I was walking through there with my girlfriend at the time.

We were looking at things, and it's like penis pipes and a bunch of silly stuff and this one jamaican guy like he was i was like walking by a shop and he's like yeah come on come in here and see what you like and all that and i was like no no no like just a bunch of penis pipes and he's like this one he picks up a little was like this one's american size yeah and i took out my wallet and i go you know what else is American size? And I left. It was my first real out in public burn. And I was like, I was high on myself all day.

I had like 13. Like, man, I'm dope. In reality, I probably like stuttered. Follow that one to the hotel. Rob. Follow that stupid bitch to the hotel. Rape him. rob that stupid bitch to the hotel rape him you went from zero to 100 on that one that was that's that's how you know i live

sell stuff like that or like such hucksters like it's uh i would go to um pendergrass for anybody who's in like northeast georgia they have this huge outdoor flea market and i mean it's massive you can walk around this thing all day not necessarily to buy anything but just to see what they have because they've got like animals for sale they've got um like not livestock but you know pets and all sorts of shit and they've got like stolen tools and like all that nonsense that like you would never actually but like blow blow guns and like little crossbows like all sorts of junk and there was this black guy selling homemade colognes in these little vials and my girlfriend at the time and i were talking to him he's like they all had funny names he's like this

one is called fuck more and i was like okay and we smell he's like he's like and this was called pussy like they all had ridiculous names and they all smelled awful. All right, we're not buying any of that. Have you never owned one of those blow dark guns? I have. I have. Are they fun? They're dangerous. Yeah.

That is not a toy. When you get one of those, just know you don't have a toy to goof around. It's not a nerf gun. This is something that will kill a small animal and put your friend's eye right the fuck out. Yeah. Or really fucking make your older brother mad did you shoot one at your older brother yeah by accident i hit him in the back of the leg did it stick in did it like oh yeah yeah yeah it's stuck in it'll stick in the wood yeah do you know what do you know what, do you know what stuck in later? His foot in my ass. It was a, yo, my oldest brother, I could tell you how old I am, how old I was by what they were doing to torture me at the time. I grew up with three older brothers. And so there, I went through a period of time, probably when I was like eight,

when they used to hold me down and drip the spit out of their mouth. Oh, you know know how much older are they than you uh one's two years older one's four years older and one's six years older okay and they all had an alliance against you well i was the easiest one you know look if you're a lion you're going after the retarded three-legged antelope you know always and you were the retarded antelope a hundred percent i was the dude down by the watering hole like where'd everybody else go you know like yeah why is it so quiet all of a sudden you know and so they did that to me they also one of my brothers loved to scare me

and so what he found out though because i when i scare i jazz hand and i make the i make this noise i go like that and what he found was when he if he scared me if he punched me in the chest right after i would go he fucking loved that noise but i got to be about 12 my oldest brother he took the farting in my mouth and oh this was a great life lesson because i would fight him and i wouldn't i wouldn't win and then he would fart in my mouth and i told my dad i'm like he keeps beating fighting farting in my mouth and he goes what do you do he goes well i i open my fight back and he beats me up and then he farts in my mouth and he was like so do you want to take a fart in the mouth or do

you want to get punched and then take a fart in the mouth and he was like, so do you want to take a fart in the mouth or do you want to get punched and then take a fart in the mouth? And he was like, God. And he goes, basically what he was saying to me is sometimes life farts in your mouth. Do you know what I mean? So it means your father has no authority to stop it. My dad was a rule. You think I'm going to step in? I don't want him to fart in my mouth.

you think i'm gonna step in i don't want him to fart in my mouth no my dad was a very rule rules of the playground deal which is solve your look unless somebody's really getting hurt solve your own fucking problems let's figure out all right and so he was like listen do you you know what does he like the most about it i go what do you mean and he goes what he i i he goes what do you like what does he like the most and i go he likes farting in my mouth he goes no he likes how much it bothers you tell him it doesn't bother you so when my brother next time he was like i'm gonna fart in your mouth i go do it and he goes i'm not gonna do it if you like it you fucking weirdo and he walked away and i told my dad i was like it worked he's like yeah he's and he's the one who taught me my dad when they pull jokes on you don't tell them that it worked they're

gonna stop pulling the jokes they like the reaction don't give them the satisfaction and it was such a good it was such a crazy lesson the fart in the mouth thing i wish he had told me that a month earlier because i ate a lot of farts and a lot of fists yeah that's that's a what a cruel thing to just fart in your open mouth yeah that's that's pretty horrific my dad learned early on that he needed to step in or things were going to get violent because like when i was like five my older sister would she'd pull this joke where you gotta keep in mind i'm like four or five so like all she had to do was hide behind the island in the kitchen and pop out and go and it would terrify a four or five year old and like the same joke works over and over 10 minutes apart i'm still just fucking terrified by her hopping out from behind this island

and my dad was putting wallpaper up in the living room this is like 1990 and i go in there i'm like hey she's scaring me she keeps keeps scaring me. I'm almost tearful. And he's just like, I'm working here. Handle it yourself. I'm working. He's putting this wallpaper up and I'm just like, all right. So his level was there. His carpenter's level. And this isn't one of those plastic ones you get nowadays it's made of wood with uh with steel around the edges and so like my little ass picks this thing up i could barely lift it and i walk back in the kitchen it's only a few steps away and she pops out from behind the island and i crack her in the top of the head with the thing and put her head wide open like three or four stitches in the top of her head and she's she's probably 13 or something like and she's fucking

crying her eyes out fucking blood's going everywhere and dad's like what happened and i'm like i got her i handled it like you told me with my ass good yo there was one time one of my friends was over and my two middle brothers fought like fought fought fought fought fought and one night so my older brother dan was with my brother jonathan and i was with my friend gary and dan just kept with him and and you know popping him every now and then and with him and jonathan had enough and he ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife big butcher's knife and my parents were out dan was babysitting he was like you want to with me come with me and dan grabbed my friend and put him in front of him he was like you want

to stab me go ahead fucking stab me my friend was like what are we doing by the way that kid never came back to my house but but he just put my friend in front of him was like go ahead stab me i dare you you won't stab me my brother was like i'll do it my friend was like don't do it no he's gonna move me and you'll stab me yeah it was but sometimes it got bananas over at my place yeah you got four you got four at one point you had a 12 year old a 14 year old a 16 year old and an 18 year old boys in your house at once that sounds awful it's a lot of bad decision makers was it ever first of all that's a lot of semen filled socks so that's a lot of laundry that is just i'm sure the house smelled horrible and you know look my brother my oldest brother also when he liked something in the

refrigerator he would claim it by licking it or he would put it in his pants and rub it on his dick or he was he was like this apple's mine and he rub it on his dick and put it back that's a good move still works yeah i dare you to find the things in my kitchen i haven't came on you're there the black light like all right there's no bananas sandwiches again did it ever like you're talking about like the did you ever just get like the shit kicked out of you like just punches upon punches or was it more like submit and i'm gonna fart and then you're just been my bitch today well like friends who went either way with their brothers we had a

strict no punching in the face rule it's common rule yeah yeah so that was it and i will tell you it depended on which brother like dan the second oldest he he caught punches from my oldest brother. Rains raining down on him. I was the youngest, so I caught less punches and more like, hey, get in this laundry basket and let me push you down the stairs. I got more like, hey, put him up on the roof and see him if he'll be able to jump off the roof onto the mattress. I got more shit like that where I guess it in a way was more dangerous but i felt better because i wasn't getting punched but really i was like a guinea pig just to see you know what i mean

yeah yeah for sure like i remember they taped me to this oh my god they taped me i was probably eight and they put two skateboards together and they take me to the skateboard and they put a helmet on me and they take my arms down to the side. Like, so my hands were under the skateboard and I was just sitting on the skateboards like this on my knees. And then they pushed me down a Hill and I had a helmet on and they just

wanted, cause they wanted to see what happened. I did that. Yo, by the way, we, I told them after I'd have gone down the hill, but you,

you, you took away my ability to put my hands out. Do you know what I mean? So when I fell, they thought I would just jump off. I was going for it. But when I fell, you know,

the only thing to stop my fall was my face and head so they were like yeah we should we should have thought that went through but yeah they they kind of experimented more on me than anything else yeah more of a general fucking with not like uh beat the shit out of you yeah that is the that's in the cards for the youngest brother. It's stupid shit like that. I didn't have this growing up. You know, I didn't really have anybody to play with. You know, my cousin would be over like during the summers and, but, but we were like, he's

a year younger than me and he was always at least my size. Like, like he was just a bigger guy most of the time. So like we were peers. So like we would kind of team up and do things together, but like we wouldn't fuck each other up like that. Um, I mean we'd box every now and then cause I was dumb enough to buy us both boxing gloves one time we both decided that was a bad idea right away yeah it seems like a bad idea how old were you with the boxing gloves yeah 16 17 something like that that's a real bad idea dude yeah hard enough to hurt each other yeah yeah

like eight who cares at eight but at 16 yeah we did that it was me and my buddy so he was bigger and stronger than me but um he only had one set of boxing gloves so we got to sewing and we put winter gloves inside of pillows to simulate like two sets of boxing yeah the thing is these pillows had like if it started with a good idea one punch, it like wiggled and all the padding was just not in front of your hand anymore. So one guy had big padded boxing gloves, which was worse. And the other guy had basically just winter gloves on that would hit

directly. It was a huge advantage. I was too big to physically fight with my younger brothers. Cause I was always large for my age and my younger brother was smaller. So it didn't work out. But when I would have friends over, like it was an event when we're like 10 and everybody brings their sock and boppers which if you don't remember sock and boppers it was this big basically blow up like an air wing except you

put your fist in it and it was huge and you could beat the shit out of each other with minimal effect except like one good punch and that thing starts to leak and before you know it you're just bare knuckle boxing with plastic over your hands in the basement on the concrete floor and that was i never got hurt so i remember it fondly everybody else remembered it though we my younger brother we my youngest brother i remember at my grandparents house they live on a farm and my, way back in this time, he had like big hunting dogs still. And one of them was still relatively young. And she just loved, name was Jill. She loved to like chase you down and like try and like jump on you to be like, it was very aggressive, but it was

like a kind thing. Like she wanted to like get like jump and like knock you down and like play with you. And we were big enough at the time, me and my younger brother, that she couldn't do that to us. But we had like, we would have made up competitions to my youngest brother would be like hey do you think you can run from this tree to that tree in 10 seconds and then my other brother would like feign like are you stupid there's no way he can do that and i'm like yeah probably not he's like no i can do it i can run all the way over there. And so we would like hold Jill back and we'd let him get like 30 yards away and then let her go. And she would hit him like a linebacker. Like he would spin into the ground and everything. But like,

and it was like August or something, but we had in the interest of safety, we put our brother in like three winter coats to try and say but i'm curious i'm curious the all three you guys because i'm always curious about this because look growing up you're dumb and if you look back at growing up all of us have at least one i can't believe i lived like i'm alive right what's your best growing up i can't believe we did that i can't believe nobody died or nobody got seriously hurt or whatever we used to do yeah kyle you go ahead you've got a litany of these i'm sure i mean like the one that was literally the closest to death was when like we were 16 no no i want to say i was i just had graduated high school i think like like

where'd you grow northeast georgia in the country okay um kind of near athens georgia where uga is um one uh i just had graduated high school i think so i'd have been like 18 and my cousin was 17 and we were getting really into fitness we were like we'd go over to his house and lift weights and then we go for like a jog at night and it was was always at night, pretty late. And it was July 4th. I remember it was July 4th because the fireworks were going off and we were out for this jog. And we went onto some private property because like these people just had put a house up and it seemed nobody was home. And we were just kind of being looky-loos, just kind of like, Hey, what's going on here? New people. And they came home and we were just kind of being looky-loos just kind of like hey what's going on here new people and they came home and we looked like i realized immediately

like we looked like trespassers or robbers or something we were just out here for like a jog and now we look like criminals so we ran and the guy starts chasing us with a gun and he's screaming for us to come out and we're like hiding in the woods, running this long loop-de-loo route to get back to his house and we get separated. My cousin makes it back to his house, but I've gone to like a crazy loop to get away. Long story short, when I finally get back to my cousin's house, I come storming into the house because I'm afraid of this guy who's been chasing us forever. He's been like driving his car down the road, like shining headlights into fields looking for us screaming at us and you can tell by somebody's voice sometimes when they're a big man and this is a very big man i can tell and uh my cousin is in the kitchen when i when i tear the door open with a pistol in his hand and he pulls the trigger with

it pointed at me because he thinks i'm the man coming to get him and it goes click he didn't have a bullet in the chamber of a 40 caliber like smith and wesson semi-automatic handgun and it was pointed like right at my like chest stomach area so like he easily could have killed me right there um i went to drive home and this is how i know the guy had a gun and how i know that it was a big man because when i went to drive home the police pulled me over because that man had called the police and I ended up meeting that man and apologizing profusely and it all got like washed away I was like what did he say when you were apologizing he said he said I was gonna kill you I thought I thought he's like my kid was asleep in the house I thought you're I thought you guys were breaking into my house I was like

we were out for a jog and we just didn't know who lived there and we were just curious and we were just out for a jog tv just sitting there and then kyle i'm assuming in that area of georgia trespassing is not a smart move not at all not at all no no no because what percentage of people you think have guns all of them yeah all of them all of them. All of them. Yeah. All of them have guns. That's right. I didn't grow up with anybody that I knew who didn't have at least like a gun. And like most of the people that I knew like had a gun in the vehicle with them, if not more than one.

You know, it was one of those scenarios. So, yeah, I could have easily died right there if Scott had had a bullet in the chamber. By the way, you could have died two times in that same story. Yeah. I don't think the guy was going to shoot wildly into the woods or anything at me. But Scott tried to actively kill me right there and just didn't happen to have a bullet in the chamber, luckily. Jesus Christ. That would have sucked.

That was a good one. What about you guys? That was a really good one. What about Cool Scar? I got nothing like Cool Scar to show off in your casket. My head went more to how I nearly killed people. where my cool scar i got i got nothing like a cool scar to show off in your casket you but you never how i nearly killed people like so i used to climb the outside of my house from the time i was like six we had this six foot tall fence that butted up against the chimney and i could climb

the fence climb the chimney get on the roof and i would hang out there and i thought it was cool and that just behavior just never stopped we moved moved, we had this four story house in ocean city, New Jersey, and I would like scale the porch onto the roof. And then our roof, like there'd be too steep, so steep. You could hardly stand on it. Use all four hands and feet to prevent yourself from sliding and falling like 70 feet. And, um, I was good at it though. And I was pretty athletic, like as a teenager. So for me, I would just scurry around this thing like a mountain goat. The problem was I used to bring other people with me. I'd bring girls and stuff, like, who had no athletic ability whatsoever.

And, you know, I'd be like, ah, you can make this jump. Just hold my hand. And, like, yeah, just that. They'd jump over the gap, you know, because it's like a right angle with a missing square if you're picturing this and uh and i would just hold their hand and prevent them from falling off this roof and we'd watch like fourth of july fireworks and shit from the top of my house and uh in hindsight that was a terrible decision i could have killed someone probably so yeah Probably so. Yeah. There's so many. Like, we, you know, I was driving. We had just graduated high school, and I was with a buddy of mine.

And these two girls were like, hey, we're going to go skinny dipping. Do you want to come? And we were like, yeah. Yeah. That's right. So the girls invited you to go skinny dipping? Yeah. Nice.

You were going gonna get laid you were handsome right i i don't know he's handsome woody i i can tell you this i was very excited at the prospect of seeing boobs yeah at that age like if someone's offering them up you're like fuck yeah where is that happening make naked out of the blue carry yeah so we had decided my friend and i let's beat them there and scare them why did they pick you yeah i mean i'm not the right guy to do you know what i mean like oh you're gonna put yourself in a vulnerable situation cool let me fuck with you a little bit you know what i mean yeah yeah but by the way i'm gonna be i'm gonna be a burglar

with a heart on so it might give it away who it is yeah uh boom is so we took a i i was going on the street and i'm like i knew there's a shortcut here. And I took a hard left and I just didn't make the left. And I accelerated straight into a tree. When I mean straight into a tree, I grew up in Massachusetts where the license plates are three digits dash three digits. Perfect in the middle. Neither one of us were wearing seatbelts because we were in high school and you didn't have to wear seatbelts back then and nobody did you know when i tell you that we hit that tree i mean nothing crazy probably about 40 something like that that's fast yeah no seatbelts our heads both hit the windshield when you looked at the windshield

and there were little there was a little hole through it on his side and there wasn't on my side but not kidding it was this close we were this close to hitting heads at 40 miles an hour yeah which would have been that would have been clearly the end for one of us the windshield's pretty bad your heads hit the wind dude my hat so i have a scar that goes down through here that stops right before my eye but my hat had glass stuck in it right where it covered over so when it dropped down it cut down through here and then my hat was fucked up i had it was an old san antonio spurs hat that had a cut from there across but like i got lucky on so many you made out like a bandit yeah very so many levels did you get to

see the boobs though what's that the boobs well here's what he didn't have vertigo just show me your tits girls felt bad for me so when i got released from the hospital they came over and they showed me their titties in my basement everything worked out yeah man thus began a vicious cycle of self-harm and that's how i lost the use of my left foot yeah man it was it was um that was definitely the luckiest did you ever hook up with these girls in the like it sounds like these girls liked you yeah yeah yeah i mean

are you asking me if i got some sympathy vagina uh i didn't think i how old were you Are you asking me if I got some sympathy vagina? I didn't think. How old were you? 18, 17. Oh, I guess it is a thing. Yeah. Every date on me or whatever.

Because I don't know. It's not like they were trying to pick you up. It wasn't that hard to pick up. One of the girls. This is why it was so exciting. One of the girls had the largest breasts i i especially at that age and it was back in an era guys where not everybody was drinking the you know the milk with all the bad stuff in it that made everybody's boobs huge right yeah it was like not everybody was walking around with giant titties it was like every now and then you'd be like god damn what look at that and one of the girls so when she was like you want

to do you want to meet us there i was like yes and when she came over and was like i'm going to do something for you you can't tell anybody'm like, what's about to happen? She just went like this. I could not believe what was happening in my mind. It was like a porn. And here you are telling all of these people. She had one rule. But you definitely told your friends immediately after, like,

Samantha showed me your tits. I mean, listen, when she was like, all right, we'll see you later, by the time the door clicked, I had already picked up the phone. I'm like, you're never going to believe what's happening right now. I mean, it happened that quick. At that age, when somebody comes over and shows you their boobs in the basement, you don't think you're telling all of your friends? No, of course you are.

Kyle, you're not? I was a secret keeper. No, no. Oh, not in high school, I wasn't. Oh, absolutely not. I am not. I was in high school. I finger-banged this chick, and people would be like,

hey, did you and so-and-so hook up? I'm like, nope. Nope, nothing happened. Nope. Because I know if I tell, it's going to get back to her. I'm not getting any more pussy. I was way too insecure. I needed people to

know that i had seen a boob do you know what i mean i'll deal with the repercussions but oh you think i'm a virgin guess what i saw some titties yesterday yeah so technically you're right so i don't know how it works but i don't think i'm a virgin both my arms are broken so i couldn't beat off for it. I've kept that shit quiet for 18 years now. Nobody will ever know who said my finger banged in the back of that car. You know, I, I, somebody finger banged, somebody was finger banging this girl in the, in the front row of my show in Cleveland. Oh no. Really? Oh, so, okay. Yeah. I have to tell you guys, I am an outward, like I talk about it a lot.

I like weird shit. If you follow me on social media, I post weird news stories. I like weird things, right? And so because I talk about it a lot, I have weird things happen at my shows. I think it just, you know, a couple of weeks ago in Dallas, I saw a human dick. Well, I see those all the time. Yeah. No, I showered. Somebody else's? Yeah, I showered. Don't judge. I mean, human dick. Well, I see those all the time. Yeah. No. I showered.

Somebody else's? Yeah, I showered. Go judge. I mean, not often. Okay. Someone asked me. I won't derail you. I was in Dallas.

Dude was in the front row. He was wearing a kilt. And we started talking. And he was like, yeah, I do. He was on one of those smaller wrestling circuits on East Texas or whatever. And he did the whole Irish thing thing he had a red beard and and i go but you're not wrestling tonight right he goes no i go why the kilt and he goes well tell you the truth when i started doing this gig the more i wore the more comfortable he said it's so humid down here this kilt is like a lifesaver and i said okay i said but are, are you wearing underwear? And he said, I'm going to tell

you what I tell everybody else. You got to lift the kilt to find out. And I told him, I go, I want you to know you are challenging the wrong dude. I'm in it. I am here for lifting your kilt, dude. Yeah. So he was in the front row. And by the way, just to make him more uncomfortable, because he, he was trying to alpha me by, he just leaned back and was like lift it up you know so how did i i'm like how can i make him uncomfortable i got on my knees he's like oh this is the worst thing ever you know yeah you're gonna show me

yo kyle if he had gone like this i don't know what i would have done that would have been the move yeah well what he said to me was he goes do you have to get on your knees and i was like yeah i do and he was like i don't like that i was like yeah that's why so i don't i didn't know this about the kilt kilt has two sides one side when you lift it is just more kilt and i lifted that side first he goes nah and this was funny he goes i hide the easter eggs on the other side and i was like oh we got chokes here okay and i lifted up the other side yeah human dick no underwear i don't know what I expected.

You know what turned out? A human dick. I totally thought it was reptilian. By the way, this dude, all potatoes, no meat. Do you know what I mean? Okay. His dick looked like it fell asleep on his nuts. Just kind of, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it was sad. What was his reaction? And it's hot and humid out too. He laughed. I mean, it was the create because this probably took between talking to him and the build-up to lifting it up and it probably took the first 13 minutes of my set it was amazing it was no bangers dude i here's what i my shows are like that like if you come to my early show a lot of times it's a

completely different show late show i'll do different 100 do different material but i i you know i've started playing i play my guitar some i bring people on stage it's like a living breathing thing so when this dude was there in the front row with his kill that was like fuck yeah let's let's milk this for as long not no pun intended but let's you know let's i remember um i think it may be it was a shot show which is a big like gun convention thing they do in vegas every year um i would go around all the vendors and look for new stuff to work with and this guy um they had this thing called utila kilt they had these like utilitary kilts uh woody's familiar them. He's probably seen them at some of the shows as well. And it's like a big hardy workman's kilt.

Like this isn't just a piece of fashion where like it's got, it's more like a tool belt skirt. It's got like all sorts, it's leather, it's well-made. And I was like, Kitty was like, do you want one? You know, you could wear one in a video. You could do some sort of Scottish warfare thing. Maybe you like do some sort of William Wallace shit. And I'm like, yeah, you one? You could wear one in a video. You could do some Scottish warfare thing. Maybe do some William Wallace shit. I'm like, yeah, I could get myself a

claymore, maybe get a bow and stuff. Maybe do a whole Scottish thing. I was like, how much are those? They were like $250. They're so expensive. Let me see. I'm sure they still exist. Let me see how much you could tell the kill. They've been around forever. $250, there's no pants

it's less all right so they're much cheaper now okay no wait guys i just i'm i'm gonna step right there in my closet two seconds i just now is the time of night where i take my edible so i don't want to miss my window oh fucking hit it bro all right so i'm looking at their kilts right now it looks like um they have like multiple styles but these are $200. This one's called a Mocker. It's $200. This one's $260. I'm going to limited edition kilts.

Oh, $550 for the tuxedo kilt, and the leather one is $770. It's an all-leather kilt. Yeah, see, these are knockoffs. You want to go to the Utila Kilt website. Utilakilts.com. Oh amazon come on baby i don't i don't want to wear one of these yeah i have i have higher kilt standards than that you've got that you've got the uh the legs for this though what are you good i think i could pull off a utility kilt i i used to want one but back when i did um i used

to build lots of like heirlo furniture. That was my hobby. I did it out of a garage with really no air conditioning. A utility kilt was on my dream list. They were just too expensive. You want the workman. That's the carpenter's kilt. It looks like, I don't know, it reminds me of Dickie's pants, those khaki Dickie pants. Oh, yeah. The workman would be a good choice, but what I want is the beast too.

That the bad thing. Yeah. It's one of the limit. I linked it for, for, Oh, that thing. Oh my goodness. That, that just looks like where you want to shit is absurd. But yeah, I was like, I was like, yeah, I'll take a kilt. And I'm like, how much are they?

And they were like two, $300. And I was like, this was kind of a joke that, that, that I thought they were going to be thirty dollars or something like that like if y'all give me a kilt i'll wear one but i'm not buying one of those things look at that that is a manly 77 dollars yeah it's nice though isn't it yeah but you can look like like a guy from middle earth yeah these are not good looks i gotta tell you if i wear a kilt i'm just walking around all day going hold hold the whole time that's all i'm doing hold i mean like i like how they give all of them like like we're selling kilts so they have to have names like the spartan you can't call it the guy being filmed behind his back at the grocery store you can't describe what's actually

going to happen the guy who's the joke of everybody's table at tgi fridays making everyone else uncomfortable sitting on the bleachers yeah always at the top. You said you were taking an edible. How many milligrams? A hundred. Oh, that's a nice little dosage there. It's a big bowl. Aren't you in, well, nevermind.

I guess I won't go too into it. No, that's fine. Yeah, it's not legal here. It's not legal here. But you know what? My theory on that kyle is good luck if they arrest me it'll be the best thing that ever happened to my career so come get me you know i'll disagrees because i was arrested for this were you arrested for drugs though i had half an ounce of marijuana yeah yeah which isn't a whole lot i'm aware so what happens for half an

ounce of heroin um if you set aside the half million dollars worth of seized property and legal fees uh five thousand dollar fine two months in federal prison and two years of federal probation so i think here in nashville now i can't say for the rest of tennessee federal it's everywhere in the United States. Yes. I know it is federal every United States, but there are some areas that decriminalize it. Right. And so here, I'm not saying in other parts of Tennessee, but this Nashville is a fairly progressive,

especially for Tennessee city. And so, um, I've asked a ton of people who live here before i started and they were like yeah you know you're gonna be fine so i was like but the 100 milligrams is what i take before my late show on saturdays okay that's a nice dose i'm doing uh i'm doing i'm doing a full gram when i get to colorado next week fucking christ dude you what i'm doing a full gram when i get to colorado next week and for uh for this show uh i'm gonna i'm gonna take a full gram uh at the beginning of the show and uh you know can you do the kyle kyle by the way kyle snuck up on me if you ever wanted to do that i would do it with. If you ever wanted to do that, I would do it with you.

If you ever wanted to do that live, I would do that with you 100%. 1,000 milligrams? That's too much. You're not going to have fun. I'm aware it's too much. You're going to be scared. You're going to be very scared.

And you're going to think that like, is it really legal that I'm doing this right now? Taylor, we're going to a scary place. He's going to be scared after the three hours that he thinks he's on a different planet. Yeah. Once you can like form thoughts again, you'd be afraid.

What you should do, Josh is like, this is a pretty much every state has this stuff called Delta eight. That's legal. Yeah. We have it here. Yeah. Yeah.

I just take those like gummies like delta a and it it's just a weaker version of weed you just need to take a little more but yeah you're if you're taking a hundred of like real weed then your tolerance is probably too high for that to fuck with you but i like on monday nights you know i do a show where i'll take like 100 200 milligrams i'll eat maybe gram and a half two grams of mushrooms and then i'll smoke a joint and then i turn on my camera jesus it's called the high live how do the mushrooms mix with the weed make you feel uh fucking awesome that's not enough for you to hallucinate or anything it's no no it's a nice low dose. He's almost micro dosing at that point.

It's two grams. Mushrooms. Two grams is, is basically enough to make your, it, the visuals are textured. You're not seeing things. Colors are a little nicer,

but it's not like nicer. And it makes you really happy. That's it. Like you're really happy. i ate about a quarter ounce i think last time i uh i did mushrooms what is that grams um seven but that is a seven grams is a hero's journey so he's definitely getting high it was more of a a terror trip it was like an episode it was more like a it was more like an episode of of tales from the crypt than anything yeah i'll tell you this like like the happiest i've ever been in my entire life was when we got back home and we were safe and we got we sat in my bed and just

hugged each other me and me and this girl who had like split half an ounce of mushrooms and like like once we got back home and we were safe and we just hugged each other and like I didn't burst out into tears, but I could have and we were just like so happy to be back home. Just like rocking back and forth. Rocking back and forth, hugging each other. Yeah. How do you consume mushrooms? You eat them? So there's a lot of ways to do it. I think like

what the smart, like more scientifically inclined people will do is grind them up and put them in capsules so that you don't have to taste shit or even make tea out of them. But what I do and what i've done the both both times i've done it is i just they're like tough little crinkly dried out mushrooms so like i you can like almost roll them up into like a ball like a booger or something they're not sticky but you know i mean you can like compress them with your fingers and then i would take a chip and dip it in salsa and i would pop them both in my mouth and just much, much, much swallow with like some water.

And it covers the taste up and it gets it down. That was just my like quick solution. Like looking around my house, like what do I have to like chase? They taste terrible. Chips and salsa. It worked because they don't get bitter and gross. I have some if you want to see them. Sure.

I don't see any problem with that. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I know friends who are into microdosing now. LSD? Is it called microdosing? It's shrooms too?

Yeah, anything that you're doing in very small doses just to activate a little part of your brain a little more effectively is considered microdosing. You can microdose anything. You can microdose ice cream I mean, you can microdose ice cream, I suppose, but you're not really going to get the same kind of journey or enhanced

creativity. I don't want to microdose snacks. No, that sucks. I like to microdose those. That's how I clean the things in my refrigerator. I just lick the ice cream. Microdosing. California, they're packaging it now.

Holy shit, is that Satan? This is legit. This is Penis Envy. Penis Envy caps are known for their big heads. Okay. This one's called Gorilla Panic. Okay. This one's called I Wish I Was Dead.

Hold on. It's all sealed. These companies send me some, but but this is the penis envy this is the cap up is it legal in california no i didn't okay it just seems professional oh they're in oregon you can right so let me tell you something there are legit companies on instagram who talk about their mushrooms in california and i'm like would you suggest just getting it through the mail and just mushrooms and so like there's always that debate of what gets you higher the cap or the stem but they're just dried out mushrooms how much do mushrooms cost like what

it depends they're cheaper than weed yeah they are cheaper i didn't know that like um i want to say that we paid like maybe 80 or 90 for half an ounce something like that that sounds maybe a little that seems kind of cheap actually do you always room intake pretty pretty small level or have you ever taken way too many and had a rough time oh yeah yeah was that a was that a one-time lesson or multiple times the lesson is honestly the lesson is know how you're feeling before you take mushrooms if you're nervous if you're anxious you know it's gonna be magnified if you're nervous about taking the drugs there's a good chance that you're gonna be tense going in so for me anybody just relax and know that even on a bad trip like Kyle had, it ends eventually.

But that only comes from experience. I don't get nervous on weed anymore. I don't get paranoid because I know I'm not going to die. I may be uncomfortable, but whatever. Do you know what I mean? I've been that uncomfortable enough times where it doesn't it doesn't make me panic anymore and so i just and i don't take enough anymore like i'm not seven gram in it like kyle anymore i'm anywhere from 1.5 to 3 just for fun just a good vivid recollection of any time that you took way too many and you hadn't learned to not panic yet like what happened um well i will tell you i

was out once in texas i went to college in texas and um there was this we bought a huge bag of mushrooms and uh this dude this is the weirdest experience i've ever had on mushrooms i was high and my buddy chris was high we're sitting around this campfire and and he was with his girl and we were all kind of tripping a little bit and my buddy wayne and wayne no matter as soon as he drank or smoked or we he was getting naked if it was a party cool guy wayne was naked right so wayne was drinking he used to drink gin out of this 1.75 liter just straight gin a handle that's disgusting fucking straight gin this dude and um he what we i just saw him and he was like hey did we have any more of this popcorn and i go what and i go wayne that wasn't popcorn those

were the mushrooms he was he was they were pretty good go, did you finish the bag? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, oh no. So maybe two hours later, Wayne comes back to the fire naked out of the woods with all this firewood and his handle. And he drops the firewood and he goes, Hey, you want to come back out in the woods with me and get some more firewood? And I was like all right man so we're walking away from the fire and it's pitch black we're in the middle of nowhere and i go wayne how can you see he goes just follow the light i go what light let me tell you something he was holding it up like a light like a lantern a hundred percent naked walking through the woods he walked out with zero scratches he didn't fall

he for whatever reason was seeing and i was walking into trees i I fell over. He was in a tree pulling down branches because he could see with the light. Now, I asked somebody about this before. It was so fucking crazy to me because I'm like, that is definitely not a light. It's gin. And there's only a little left. Yeah. How are we doing this right now? This dude, it was the craziest thing.

For whatever reason, he was seeing exactly where to go. Could it be that it made his pupils so big? More dilated than they would ever naturally even be. And he actually has night vision now. It's crazy. Because I imagine the moon gave the bottle at least a little bit of something. Yeah. And so I think so, too, that his pupils were so whacked that he was actually seeing in a place he had no business seeing.

He could see the code of the Matrix. But he did, which is what I thought when I was on shrooms. I was like, this dude can see in the dark now. Like I was I ran back to the when we went back to the fire. I was like, dude can see in the dark now. I ran back to the... When we went back to the fire, I was like, Wayne can see in the dark. Wayne can fucking see in the dark. I don't know. Something ran up and bit me earlier. Now I can see in the dark.

I'm so thirsty now. Give me some of that light. Let me see if I can see. Oh, no. It's just jazzy. Yeah. I like mushrooms way more than acid because it doesn't last as long um and uh i can see the end in sight if i'm not enjoying have you ever thought of doing dmt yeah i have i would love to because that's like 15 minutes you know what scares me about dmt the

most is that people uh and it's really interesting um i people they see these elves when they're on DMT and it's a common report from multiple people. It's not like three guys were together. They all did DMT and one's like, do you see the elves? And because of someone saying that, they're like, yeah, I do see elves now. It's like everyone who takes this reports that they meet elves that are friendly

and supportive to them. And I was reading where they're they're talking about exposing someone who's from a completely separate culture like some indigenous tribe to dmt and then seeing if they see the elves because if they see the elves then we know there might actually be some fucking elves it does seem well it's funny you said i didn't know that was like i didn't know everybody saw elves but literally a buddy of mine who the only friend i know who did dmt he was like yeah i was on the surface of the moon and this little creature was telling me everything's gonna be okay you're worried about things that don't matter as much as you think and and i left the moon feeling better and it's like

let me ask you a question does this for any you guys, open up the possibility that there are just different realms that our normal brains don't have access to? Yeah. I totally believe that. Because if you want to look at something that actually is based in science and isn't like tomfoolery and you just have to believe it, look at the wavelength of light that we can perceive versus how large the wavelength of light actually is like we can see from um red to violet that's the that's the expanse of visible light that we're able to perceive with our with our human eyes lots of animals can see infrared or uh or like various other spectrums of light and there's tons of uh stuff on the spectrum that like not even animals can see that we have to use uh like advanced machinery and like scientific experiments to like, you know, be aware of. So like, maybe there is some other plane of existence or something like that. Some other dimension, something that you're opening your mind up to with DMT. Um, they say that it's released in large amounts when you're born and

when you die. Uh, and, uh, yeah, I know. Right. Um, but the other way that they've described those elves is by talking about um but they've described them as great aliens and uh and that is my biggest fear ever is the great aliens like from the fucking x-files and shit that like take you up in the in the in the in the ship and torture you so i feel like if i saw the elves i'd be fucking drop kicking them and fucking fucking i'm like i like start an interdimensional war with the elves. We've never met a violent one before. They're always so friendly when they're here. And maybe I started.

You're always so nice when they get here. Yeah. Big guy drop kick little Steve. Dave can't see anymore. He poked his eyes out. I'm up there just fucking choking out elves. Like maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't experiment with that stuff. Maybe start with the gram of weed and go from there or

not gram the yeah a gram of constant that's what it is right that's it yeah it's it's of edibles yeah oh i'm not gonna do um oh i mean a gram of concentrate ain't is no big deal i mean all right let me backtrack a little it's a big deal but it's pales in comparison to a gram of edibles it's like the difference between like drinking six shots really quick and drinking a bottle of tequila like six shots is gonna get you pretty fucked up but you'll be fine in a few hours you drink a bottle of tequila it's gonna change your your opinions on alcohol for the rest of your life yeah you're gonna be feeling horrible that evening and the next day yeah it's a big difference i mean some of those really intense hallucinogens really scare me like i don't know i don't think i would ever try dmt it just it seems spooky and i also i'm maybe i'm coming in on woody's side with this

i don't think that it's going to give you visions into an alternate reality okay obviously these alternate realities are bullshit and there is no infrared elves or whatever this is insanity we would discover them through other means uh where did you what other means what do you like socks when your brain let me ask you something missing socks when you hear about people tripping and and what do you think that is that your brain is accessing there's some sort of like a false sensory input that's going on there i don't think your brain is accessing a real realm that we can't otherwise access what we've done instead is we've altered your brain to get false input. Okay. Yeah. Which look,

if it's a good time and it doesn't hurt anyone, do it, do it like, like enjoy your life. Like I'm not judging. I'm just saying there's no scientific discoveries happening here. This is just fun. This is doing drugs,

guys. You're doing drugs. You're having a great Friday night, but you're not breaking new grounds and that dmt from what i understand and like i said i've never done it my buddy had a dmt vape which sounds real dangerous yeah i didn't know that i didn't know that existed yes that exists where did you learn your stack ranking from what i understand it feels like you're tripping for like hours and you're only high for like 10 or 15 minutes yeah yeah yeah that's the thing is the time perception

from what i understand is it's like a 15 9 10 15 minute thing but your perception of time is altered in such a way that you do not feel like nine minutes just transpired you have gone on an entire fucking vacation in your mind in the last 15 minutes and those people almost always come out like changed as as as individuals like like they feel like they've experienced something life-changing why did you guys all freak out when you heard vape i hear vape and i think it's the gentlest kindest way to take oh well but it's just um it's not that i i have any experience with it or anything it's just that like the idea that they take it from what's already like an experimental like drop or whatever you're going to put on your tongue and vaporize it and and put it into the like respiratory system it's

just like a step further it's like it's like if you told me that they have a heroin vape holy shit they're vaping heroin oh my god like yeah i like to put it in my eyeballs though that's the real hardcore way oh can't we just shoot in our vein i don't have the same i hear shooting directly into your bloodstream and i think that's way more hardcore than vaping it but i'm not saying i'm right okay so you hear that too yeah but you guys all heard vaping dmt and thought i was really just surprised that it's a thing yeah for me when i heard woody what was surprising it's the ease of which you can just carry it around like i was like so i can just have a dmt vape pen at the airport so they've taken something extreme and made it like yeah like

something like teenagers would do in the high school hallway so i have some i have some statistics about dmt experiences where they exposed like a study group to DMT and they asked them about their experience. And so it's broken down percentage wise. Apparently, most people said that the beings that they encountered were not hallucinations. Of course, these are people on DMT, right? But still, it gives you an idea of what, these are people on DMT, right? But still, it gives you an idea of what you're perceiving on DMT. About three quarters of respondents said that they believe that the beings were real, but that they exist in some kind of different dimension or reality. And only 9% said the being existed completely within myself.

So like one in 10 people agree with the idea that, ah, I just saw some shit because I was on some drugs. That's interesting. 81% said that they found the encounter to be realer than reality. They felt like this was a more real version of existence than what real life feels like. You could get a bit of bias just in the people, the kind of people that are most willing to sign up for a DMT study, I would imagine.

I want to know, so that my, Joe Rogan talks about DMT and often says like, it's like upgrading your RPG character, right? Suddenly you're more creative, you're more open-minded, you're a better version of yourself than prior to the DMT experience. I would like to hear Kyle's study and know what happened to these people afterwards was there any change any measurable change did their income go up did their did they get into a creative field or are they just literally the same dude they were the encounters were often followed by lasting changes in well-being and beliefs about one quarter of respondents said

that they were atheists before the encounter, but only 10% said that said they were afterwards. Additionally, approximately one third of respondents reported that before the encounter, their belief system included a belief in ultimate reality, higher power, God, or universal divinity, but a significant larger percentage, 58% of respondents reported this belief system after the encounter. What's more, 89% of the respondents said that the encounter led to lasting improvement in well-being or life satisfaction. Why? The researchers suggested that ontological shock, which is the state of being forced to question your worldview, may play an important role in the enduring positive life changes in attitude, moods, and behavioral attributes in these experiences.

Interesting. So no, there's not some sliding scale of like income or anything, but it seems that the people who have done it by an overwhelming percentage believe their life has improved. And they started believing in imaginary things. I don't think so. I think the way it's been explained to me with mushrooms and it's just hallucinogenics and in general and the way it is for mushrooms for me

was almost like it just unlocked a part of my brain it was like you know like when you play video game you're like did i did i unlock that level like i've never seen this before and so for me mushrooms it did that but they say that dmt takes it to a completely different level and i definitely want to try it because one thing i will say about dmt as opposed to mushrooms or acid i very rarely have heard of anybody say i've had a bad trip oh but mushroom people do oh yeah yeah yeah it happens kyle just told you yeah i guess i guess you know yeah my friends say it's set and setting and i don't know why they don't say mindset and setting because that's what it means but yeah where are you taking their high okay where are you taking it like the setting that you're you know who you're taking it with

and the mindset going into it is so you don't want to like go on a trip to walmart to pick up carrots or anything that'd be wrong no no you might end up having a panic attack there at walmart huh what's your happy place is your happy place in front of the tv is your happy we love walmart a campfire is your like wherever that is is where you shoot a campfire would be the fucking go-to, right? If you're sitting by a campfire in a nice chair, crackling, maybe stars up above, like the smoke rising, the flames doing their thing. Have you ever seen that shit that you can throw into campfires that make them burn in multiple colors?

Plastic. Yes. No, not plastic, you fucking... There's these little bags of granules that you throw into campfires, and now the campfire is multi-colored green and blues and yellows and oranges that you normally wouldn't see in a campfire um i got a bag of that in the other room i think i'm gonna take it to colorado

with me like we've got like a big like campfire area in the backyard we're gonna roast some marshmallows and chill outside have you guys ever been to Joshua Tree? No. That's for me my favorite place to take mushrooms. I love being out in the desert high like that or being on those rocks. We actually just bought some land out there, and I can't wait to just take mushrooms and never leave. I mean, I'm on like the different world thing because it would be so cool if that was real but like i've never been convinced that shit exists because i had a really vivid dream right like why and taylor would you ever take in a who said j would you ever do dmt

or anything like that if if i was in like a perfect environment i would i'm a high anxiety person so i would have a i'd have a lot of trouble going into it just being like just relax and take the acid idiot it's like no i know i've taken acid i'm gonna i'm about to freak out i'm afraid is that it starting no is that it starting like that whole unknown is scary to me if i'm smoking weed or taking an edible or something i know exactly what to expect but with the hallucinogens it's it is spooky you had to start with pot you have to start with jerry just like it's time to get over your anxiety it's time for me to walk through that gateway into the rest of the drugs last time taylor and i were in colorado together i wanted to go do uh the sensory deprivation tank on like large doses of

marijuana. For those who don't know, you're literally basically in a coffin filled with very salty water, so salty that you're incredibly buoyant, you just kind of float on top of it. And they shut the lid. And you're in there completely deaf, blind, and with no, you're not touching anything. So there's no sense of touch anymore. And then on high doses of things like marijuana, or like real hallucinogens, like mushrooms or LSD or something like that, you go on some incredibly vivid trips. Like the guy who invented LSD would do that and like describe the trips he

went on and they sound fantastical. You know, there are people who are micro dosing LSD now. Yeah. Yeah. Is that do the same thing as microdosing shrooms? I don't know enough about it. I read that they feel much more creative when they're doing that,

that it's activating some part of their brain or stimulating a part of their brain that's part of the creativity center or something like that. You mean with the microdose? Yeah. So they're not impaired. It's quite the opposite is their feeling. So if they're like writers or painters or something like that, they're just, they feel more creative doing whatever their art form is.

It was popular amongst computer programmers when I was one. And I always felt like, what? Like my competitors are on brain steroids. This sucks. Like, you know, you're on on you're microdosing lsd to kick off your work day and being better at your job so they say yeah it almost reminds me of um the current season of american horror story the uh the sort of mcguffin the whole like central like thing is that this chemist has made these pills that are basically talent incarnate. If you are a talented person and you take this pill,

now you're not just a writer. You're fucking Mark Twain. If you're a painter, you're not just a painter who can get their stuff into an art gallery. You're fucking Picasso. Like whatever your thing is, it amplifies it to 100. However, if you're not talented, you basically go insane because now you have to face how untalented you are and all of their hair falls out and they become like ghouls. So this town where it's going on in, there's these two groups of people at this point,

there's a ghouls who are out in the street fucking eating rabbits. And then there are like these hyper talented, incredibly wealthy people who like they're like yeah so we got you a two netflix deals and uh quentin tarantino wants you to do a rewrite for him and like like it's it's a really interesting season i am going to microdose lsd and report back to you get after it i like this i think i well i don't think i am i know i am i know something here and i who microdoses it. And I had never thought of it, but I'm going to give it a run. All right. I look forward to

hearing back your findings. I hope I don't end up one of those bald ghouls. What's your setting? Are you going to do it prior to a show and then you're going to microdose and hit the stage? Are you going to microdose and hit the campfire? What's the plan? I think I'll microdose and probably try to write was what I would do.

Okay. You know, I like the stage just my Saturday late show. I like to get a little twisted, but my thinking is like, if I can't, I only have to work three hours a week. If I can't stay sober, I got some problems. Do you know what I mean? So

I try to figure out a way to, but, but also like, I don't ever want to be dependent on stage or being like, well, I gotta be high to be funny or anything. That stuff makes me more nervous than anything else that my brain will start being like, well, you're not gonna be funny tonight. Cause you're not high. And so i don't ever want to get to that spot yeah i've had this question in my head for a little while now and i want to ask a real comedian so there are a couple comedians stand-up comedians who do more than one thing they're stand-up comedians and they're writers they're stand-up comedians and they're UFC commentators. Yes. They're known for more than one successful actors and actresses who also do stand-up comedy. Yet it seems like the

stand-up comedy part of their career is the most central to their core of sense of self-worth and accomplishment. What is it about that? Because there might be more successful in other, or maybe more well-known for other parts of their career, but it's the standup comedy that is their like self ranking. What? Well, why? A couple of things I would think one,

it's how we all started. Right. And so that's what we said, growing up standup, standup comedy. But you know, the standup comic, comic community is just a community of broken toys. that's what we said growing up stand-up stand-up comics but you know the stand-up comic uh comic

community is just a community of broken toys and so that identification as a comic is like a badge of honor and it's not only that because i would tell you right now out of all of the arts and you know different things that people do, I think standups the hardest. And so I think people wear that also with a little bit of a badge of honor, like, yeah, you all are, but you don't do,

you couldn't do what I do. And so I think part of it is that, and if I would be completely honest, I think most people enjoy it the most. I bet you, I bet you even, I wonder if even Sandler, if you asked him, what are you, you an actor, you stand up. He, I don't know, but you know, Tiffany Haddish would tell you she was a standup and she's definitely been

more successful, I think as an actress and as a stand-up although she won an emmy or a grammy or one of the other something like that but like i think it's your identity it's part of you who am i and for me it's a badge of honor to say i do this job because i know what it takes to do this fucking job and i know what it's taken to get here and there's no shortcuts in this job you have to eat shit for a certain amount of time to really be like how badly you want this how badly you like it's like kind of like for a while you're gonna be terrible you know so everybody went through the same kind of frat hazing of getting ripped on being shitty and so even if you you know,

you're a mid guy and you're talking to some big guy or you're the big guy talking to a mid guy, you still have that commonality. You'll find comics who have never met end up gravitating towards each other. If they're in a room and we'll end up talking, I don't know you, but I know you. So I know everything you've had to go through.

I know you ate chicken fingers for five years. You know what I mean? Like I know what it takes the, the beating on your ego and your self-worth of just like night after night of strangers staring you in the face. What was the closest you ever came? If there ever was a time, probably in the beginning of your career as a standup where you were like, this this sucks i don't feel like i'm progressing fast enough maybe this isn't for me you know that's a great question man it's something i just admitted i think for the first time probably two weeks ago um you know i almost quit and quit's not the right word i almost had to stop after Chelsea Handler show after Chelsea lately, I made the choice to actively try to shed those fans.

Great. By the way, great people, great fans, nothing against them, but they weren't my fans. They were her fans and they were eventually going to fall off like they did for all of us.

And then, you know, it's that you got to pull off the bandaid because I need to build it back up. And if I wait seven years or however long it takes for them to all go away, it may be too late by then, you know? So I hit a point in 2000, I don't know what year I put my special out, father of the year. I think it probably came out in 2017. So there was a point in 2017 where I said to my wife, I'm better than I've ever been, but I'm going to have to find a new job. They're just not paying me anymore. And I, I, I'm just, I don't want to,

I don't want to start over at the pay scale. I don't want to start here again. I did that. I know what that's like, but but you know what i feel really good about myself right now i don't know if my ego can handle this i'll tell you taylor it was never the sucking the i think growing up with three older brothers and having kids real young really put a lot of things in perspective like if you don't have my last name you can't hurt my feelings nothing you can say there's no you know what i mean i don't fucking know you and so i always my biggest bomb i bombed the fifth time fourth time i was ever on stage i opened up for a guy named sam kinnison oh very cool and it was a pure mistake. I had won a comedy competition because I had, excuse me, packed the bar with my friends. And it was, you know, whoever got the most applause, right?

Yeah. Sam's opener's dad, a guy named Carl LeBeau. His dad, I forget what he died of. I don't want to guess, but he had passed away when they were on their way to San Antonio. So Sam's brother was like, hey, we hear there's a comedy competition. Who won? And they were like, this kid, Josh Wolfe. And he was like, hey, will you open it for Sam?

Or it might have been the guy who was promoting in the area, whatever, whoever it was. So I get this phone call. You want to open it for Sam Kinison? Fifth time I was ever on stage. And I was like, this comedy shit's easy. Yeah. I'm already i bombed to first if i told you what i was wearing for those you don't know kinnison kinnison was the first rock and roll comic he wasn't playing at a comedy club he was playing at a rock club

nobody did that stanhope does that now but nobody did that there were Hope does that now, but nobody did that. There were no seats. People were standing up. And he, you know, he used to play music at the end of his shows. He was a huge rock guy, you know? And so I didn't, I was a little confused with my styles. I was wearing some wingtip black shoes, some acid wash jeans with one of those thin black belts that has the silver tip on it you know i'm talking about yeah i had a blue blockbuster basically shirt button down shirt tucked into those jeans i was wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket and i had a ponytail with

some bangs it wasn't a good look doesn't sound like it and i walked out on stage and before i even got to the mic somebody just screamed you, you better be funny, Bobby Brady. And I was like, oh shit. I'm not ready to be heckled and I'm not ready for Kinnison's crowd. This is how bad it went. So first of all, by the way, when the guy said to me, Hey, I go, yeah. And he goes, because I did your fifth time on stage. I had maybe three minutes of material.

The guy goes, goes hey keep it to a tight 20 i was like what a tight 20 i thought i was doing my three minutes that i did at the bar he was like keep it to a tight 20 they were so tired of what are you gonna do let me tell you something just so afraid when they said that. Yo, they were so tired of me being there, guys. They stopped heckling me three minutes into the act and just started talking to each other. Oh, that's the worst. And not only that, I only had three minutes of material.

So I just repeated myself the whole time. You know, the only laugh you probably could have gotten that night is after your three minutes of good stuff and they've already already started talking amongst them well i hate to say it but it's all downhill from here guys that was kyle i would have said it if anyone was listening to me yeah well i said it there was i mean the guy sweeping up behind me he chuckled the last five minutes of the set was just me talking to my girlfriend in the mic going like this they're not listening to me she was like well just keep going and i was like yeah but nobody

they don't care she was like i'm listening i was having a con one-on-one conversation how many people are in the crowd i don't know how many people rock and roll club you know i don't i don't remember 100 i would bet it feels like 800 feels like standing up maybe a thousand good god jesus christ so then i get off stage sam crushes and his manager's like hey so for the second show and i was like second show i don't know can i go he said sam's been known to get a little fucked up in between shows so i might need you to go a little longer oh now it all comes together huh and i was like wait you understand what's happening now

well i go i go what i go didn't you watch the first show and he goes yeah yeah you were doing great i was like oh i'm like so he goes if i do this you just get stretched and i was like do you want me to do my set for the sixth time is that what you want me to do yeah i did because it was 25 minutes i had to do the second show i did my set five times just over and over and over i just did it over and over again because they weren't listening and more people were walking in because it was slowly filling up so i was like like you didn't hear them let me tell you my jokes you didn't hear them and i just repeated my jokes again oh hang on he just walked in all right we're gonna start over everybody cool starting over right taylor let me and you guys to to your point when i was driving

away my girlfriend at the time said to me well you got that out of your system you'll never have to do that again meaning if you quit now nobody will blame you and i told her straight up oh i'm not going out like that like i may not do stand-up for a living but those motherfuckers aren't getting the last laugh on me i guarantee it no yeah that's not how it went you're not even getting the first laugh on it. But I was just like, that's not how I'm ending this story. This is not the end of this fucking story. And so failure was not the thing that was going to make me quit this. Yeah.

That was not. That's really brave. That's really brave. Now you are aware that they wanted you up there because you were awesome to to like follow right oh no no no no sam wasn't that dude because carl laboe was one of the funniest humans the people that sam used to tour with kyle okay they were called the outlaws of comedy jimmy schubert carl labbeau one other dude murderers carl lebeau we're talking about kinnison yeah yeah i'm a big fan yeah carl lebeau and he recently passed away but i'll tell you

right now carl lebeau to me is the single most underrated comic in the history of comedy this dude was dark and real and raw and but he wasn't that great to look at you know what i mean yeah he just wasn't that dynamic but what a great comics comic he was one of these dudes that when he went on stage at the comedy store the comics were were coming into coming into watch funny. And Jimmy Schubert, I don't know if you guys know who Jimmy is. No. Oh,

dude, he's still doing it. Jimmy's Jimmy's ridiculously funny. So Kinnison was not a dude who was scared to have funny people go up in front of him. He probably was used to people getting laughs. Not me. I got a question. Yeah. So you're're you're playing a small club someplace in raleigh that no one knows about 75 people by the way i'll be in raleigh in the third week of october really

22nd 23rd and 24th i think where can we get your full tour tour dates comedian josh wolf.com comedian josh wolf.com check that out guys ioshwolf.com. Check that out, guys. I'm going to look right now to see if we're going to be there. I'm in Raleigh. Oh, you are? Yeah. I'm there 22nd, 23rd, 24th. October.

We'll do a fan meetup. Anyway, so you're in a club, 75 people, whatever. Would you rather have the audience love you or the other comics think you are awesome? If you had to pick, whose respect do you want? Are you asking present day Josh or young Josh? Ooh, now I want both. Young Josh wants the comics.

Huh? Old Josh doesn't give a fuck what the comics think. They're not buying tickets to my show. Do you know what I mean? I might see you in October, man. Where? We'll see. Okay. Let me know. And I'll get you guys what i mean i might see you in october man where we'll see okay let me know but when i'll get you i mean i mean i'll be free and i'll be back i could i could head down to

naples florida and uh and uh hit a show up there oh that is by the way that naples florida shows so it has a lot of old people eating dinner and i try to make them as uncomfortable as i can oh i'll be part of that i'll i'll be fucking weird in the crowd i'll laugh i'll be like the fucking uh joker from the last movie like joaquin phoenix laughing at the parts i'm not supposed to laugh at to make it fucking awkward what's your name kyle i'll see if i can't find that dmt vape pen by then oh don't i don't no no thanks actually kyle fucking straight edge over here brother did you say october you might be in colorado i'll be back by then i'll be back by the 29th okay i'm gonna i think i'm gonna do

two weeks in colorado like that's what i'm i don't have a return ticket like i bought a one-way ticket to colorado and uh and like airbnbs are 90 a fucking night so i might stay two weeks i might be like i am burnt out it's time to go home and start this whole packing our bags and moving uh moving house thing or i might be like you know what let's do two more weeks i could stay for a fucking month and a half i don't fucking know i'm gonna see i'm gonna like play it by ear that's why i have the one-way ticket flights right now are incredibly cheap like you know all my friends are flying into colorado for this big meetup and uh i think dirty's plane ticket was like 73 dollars and it's like not a one-way ticket it's like it's like it's like he goes to colorado and then to vegas for 73 dollars like like it $73. It's shockingly cheap.

Now, he's a little guy, so they're just putting him in the overhead storage bin. Right, right, right. But still, my first class ticket was like $350 or something like that. And then I signed up for this Delta. I'm always careful not to show my goddamn credit card on the show. This Delta Amex card for the SkyMiles. And so I ended up being like, I mean, basically a free flight. Are you going to be in Vegas? Is that what you're saying? I could be. I don't know. My friends are going to Vegas

from like the 17th for a few days. They're all gamblers and we play a lot of poker together. So they're talking about going to Vegas on the 17th. They've got a, my friend gambles enough that he gets free uh sweets yeah so like they're talking about going down there and playing some uh some cash poker my wife and i are going to be there for three months oh sick i get nosebleeds down there it's not my favorite place in the world but there's the air so dry yeah it's thin yeah i consider that as a place to move because i want to get out of georgia because of the legal marijuana thing. And so there's I mean, there's a handful of states I've looked at everything from Florida to Denver to Vegas, Washington, Oregon, places like that, not Cali, but even even mass and up in the northeast in a few places.

But I've kind of come to my decision now. I know what's up. I don't really want to say publicly. I've kind of come to my decision now and I know what's up. I don't really want to say publicly, but, um, but yeah, uh, Vegas was one of the, the only thing that holds me back from Vegas is it is a little far from my family here in Georgia, obviously. Uh, it's a five hour flight, but then also like that dry air, I've been to Vegas six, seven times for like a week at a time each time.

And I don't love it. You know, what we're doing is that, you know what we're doing is that you know we're empty nesters and so good for you but we were like you know what we should do two or three months a year is just live in a different city fuck yeah that sounds awesome man so yeah that's what we're doing and our first one is vegas and we're going for three months and then next year we'll we'll pick another city you do an airbnb for that yeah Yeah, extended Airbnbs. Yeah, extended Airbnbs are really good. And there's this other site.

I can't think of it off the top of my head, but it's like HomeAway or something like that. And it's actually even better. And it's actually meant for exactly what you're talking about. People who like to live that lifestyle of being in a city for three to four months. And it's like a full furnished apartment that's- It's called HomeAway? HomeAway or something like that. I looked at four months and it's like a full like furnished apartment that's it's called home away or something like that yeah i looked at it months and months ago i can't it may not be home away but that's what's sticking in my head right now but uh but yeah airbnb extended

stays are excellent like the rates you get sometimes it's almost like is this better than renting like it's so much better. It's crazy. Very affordable. Yeah. Especially since everything's furnished and you're not paying utilities. It's incredibly cheap when you consider all things. That's right. You don't have to be innocent.

I got to watch Back to School when I get to Colorado. I got this list of movies. I've been sober for just over two years something like that um and i used to smoke weed every day you know because the federal probation and everything i get drug tested and um and so this what it has standard drug testing uh federal probation does i get like piss tested on a like a not regular schedule like he can just pop in and be like pissing a cup. That sort of thing. Also, no alcohol. I can't leave my quadrant of my state without

permission from him. I can't even visit my family without permission. It's a bunch of shit like that. But anyway, I want to watch Back to School. I want to see that movie. Because that scene with Kennison is so fucking good. I love that with Rodney Dangerfield. He's giving the girl a hard time.

Professor, leave her alone. She's just a kid. He's like, ah, Mr. Helper, I didn't know you wanted to get involved with the discussion. So fucking good. Let's talk about it. And he brings up fucking Korea.

We should have gone in there there we should have bombed those commie bastards back to their rice patties do you guys know who craig gas is uh-oh craig gas does the only sam kinnison impersonation. It is, if you're Googling it right now, I wonder if you can use it. It's so good. I mean, it's, and Craig's a comic and he does voices, but he does voices like you don't expect people to do. Like one night he did Gene Hackman. I'm like, who does Gene Hackman?

It's such a non-distinct voice you know what i mean i don't know i i'd hear it i like hackman a lot hackman but his kinnison is like and because kinnis that his k controlled like it was so perfect it was so i remember what for me if i'm gonna tell for me the three comedy people who i would say influenced me the most would be kendison because he's the first guy i remember thinking can we say that shit people will laugh like we can say this um cosby pre-rape um no such thing that's true pre-known rape pre-convicted rape uh your knowledge of rape yeah that's fair to say yeah before we knew so but his ability to sit on a stool not swear not really change you know yet not really raise his voice and still raise everybody loved him to lean in and you just you couldn't stop on his storytelling ability but the third and three i

guess is carlin i was about to say carlin yeah i was hoping that was your third one yeah um carlin's probably my favorite um and then my other stuff is modern so i won't even mention it it's it's the two or three that everybody goes to who you got like chappelle and those guys i like chappelle a lot but not for stand-up as much as you know just everything he's done like the chappelle show was so monumental. But I like Louis C.K. a lot. Some of his earlier stuff, I feel like here's the problem with all comics, in my opinion. Not you, of course.

But every comedian goes through that chicken finger eating stage, right? Where they're spending everything they have to come up with that set. That set. The set. The one that will actually make people laugh every time where they're rolling on the fucking floor,

where they can make a million dollars, where they can get a TV deal. Even now they've made it. Now, once you make it, their second act is hard because you don't have another lifetime. You got to come up with that second act in the next two years. If it's three years, we've forgotten all about the first act.

The first set is based on 30 years of life. The second set is based on the life between the first and second set. Yeah, it's very difficult. And I think that a very unique group of guys are able to keep going. And it's often, in my opinion, not only talent-based, but about the subject matter that they write about. if you if you like like and dave chappelle's really good about this i thought i think all of his shit's really funny because i mean he's talking about the the juicy sommelier stuff like because he stays topical with like current events and makes fun of that shit

he doesn't have to live a whole new life of experiences to have some more shit to make fun of and to have a good time with. And some comics struggle with that. I don't know. But I like Kennison a lot. And I really enjoyed just watching how manic he was because no one did that. Andy Kaufman, maybe. But it was on a different wavelength with Andy Kaufman. He was just another kind of human being.

wavelength with andy kaufman like he was just another kind of human being let me offer one addendum addendum to what you said i and it's not even an addendum it's a completely different point of view um i would say this i would say that may be true, may be true for the second album, because sometimes people feel a need to rush the second album. Right. But if you stay in the game long enough, if you put in your 10,000 hours, it, If you put in your 10,000 hours, it's like you look at, you know why there's so many people trying to stand up right now?

Because there's so many people in the game right now who have put in their 10,000 hours and who are making it look easier than it is. Okay. And so I would tell you that maybe that second album, because people rush it but in my experience like people get exponentially better between those 14th and 20th years like when you those first 14 years or whatever if you're in the game those last six years

all the wheels are on the tracks and it's just all the wheels are on the tracks because you have done it look man you know i don't even call it confident when i walk on stage i've there's nothing you can show me that i haven't seen yeah a lot of experience and there's different kinds of entertainers, don't get me wrong. Did you see Mike Tyson's one-man show on HBO? No, that sounds funny. That man's not a comedian. You don't even think of him as being necessarily bright or creatively minded.

I was entertained, though. That's the word I would use. I was entertained by his show. And he doesn't have a second one in him he's got one because he blew the whole life experience right then and there and maybe he had a ghost writer helping him form thoughts and maybe putting a little twist on this and that that like makes it you know that oh that's funny the way he put it there but say what you want that guy is a bit of is an entertainer uh like he did an amazing job and there are some guys who can walk up there like with no material whatsoever and just

just be funny i'm an easy laugh in a comedy club like oh good come to the show in florida i'm an easy laugh like i remember watching who was who's the gentleman who's like the he has something wrong with him he's the handicapped comic is it blue blue yeah i watched josh blue at uh in atlanta and uh i watched him throw a fucking karen out and it was one of the best experiences of my life watching he's funny dude he was funny oh he threw someone out yeah i can't remember on state okay he threw no i can't remember how he did it but he he like he made some kind of a joke about like i'm handicapped but you're retarded or something like that and it just brought the fucking house down like like like at least i have an excuse for

for for being like embarrassing looking like like you're just humiliating yourself on the day like like and she was a cunt from the we were outside like like there was a line backed around the building to get into josh blue show and uh he was the main guy uh he was headlining and you had to sit through like some nonsense and one guy stormed the stage and tried like he wasn't one guy wasn't scheduled he just ran onto the stage and started fucking telling jokes what like like he just wanted like like i guess he couldn't it doesn't matter what happens i've seen it before you can't surprise me i don't know the name of the club but it was one of the major clubs in atlanta it's this has been eight nine ten years ago now like like i was i remember i was in east atlanta so it had to have been within

45 minutes of east atlanta i wouldn't driven much further, but this guy stormed the stage and it was very awkward. It was like, you know, everybody's got the announcer comes in. He's like, all right, I want you guys to give a good welcome to Jimmy crack corn. He's coming out of Alabama tonight. He's got a great set for you guys. You may have seen him on this and that and the other and give a warm welcome. Well, that didn't happen. This Asian guy just is on the stage office and he's like, yo, what's going on guys? I, uh i uh i i'm gonna make this quick into the and he he was he was kind of funny like it was clear that he wasn't just a yahoo just like being silly like he was a he was a guy who wanted to be a comedian but couldn't get booked and he just wanted to make a name i know in his heart of

hearts he's hoping like they'll take notice someone will take notice here tonight like like but it was a wild fucking night because that Karen, even when we were outside in the line wrapped around the building, I remember looking at my girlfriend and being like, she's going to be a problem. That woman right there is going to be a problem. Was she like wasted or just, she was, I have to think of the same thing.

We all know this archetype of a female. She is a 38 year old blonde chick with big tits. Who's 30 pounds overweight, far too confident in her, in her own skin and way too loud. She's so loud that I can, we can all hear her drunk conversation 50 feet away. 15 years ago, we all put up with her because she was hot and 25. Yes. We used to put up with this exactly and now no longer and it was and sure enough we're all sitting in there having cocktails or whatever and she was just an a she was an awful human being to like have to deal with whoa whoa whoa sorry my dog it sounded like you were actually it's the elves! It's the elves.

Did it look like I was moving? You looked like you were, I don't know, concerned about what was happening. Like there was an earthquake. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. My dog is like, he's half pit bull, half American bulldog. Oh. He likes those here. Strong. When he decides he wants to sit

somewhere, he just. I'll wait till you leave to talk about pit bulls then. Oh, that's it. Okay. I've seen so many horror movies or, you know, or horror videos. I don't want to talk about it. It's not a good topic. I bet your dog's wonderful.

He's a good dude. He's one of the good ones. His name's Indiana Jones. He hasn't been anyone yet. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. But you three are welcome over any time.

We can change that. He tries. Listen, I'm not saying he wouldn't bite you. I'm just saying he hasn't. Yeah. No, he's a good dude, man. My whole thought process on pit bulls is that there are like 30 different

breeds of dogs that are aggressive and will bite you. But there's only a handful that can make it count. Here's the deal, man. A dog is as aggressive as his owner makes him. You say that, however, a golden retriever will automatically

go pick up a fucking bird and bring it back to you with no a dachshund will automatically try to burrow into a hole and get that badger out because dachshund means badger hound in german and a pit bull wants to kill no yeah josh um you gotta know i've had dogs since i was i think i got my first dog when i was like six years old i have never not had a dog during that entire period of time churn i'm a dog guy we have had lots of wonderful dogs wonderful in all their own ways and one dog that wanted to murder all the time all the time he was me kyle's a dog person kyle came over for call it a long weekend three days or something on day three he's like we're friends now right you know i've been warming up to you i've been loving on you and what they he didn't make friends with other people he just wanted to kill and

murder all the time he's wearing a muzzle and i think kyle's thought was this wasn't a pitbull by the way it was a great day and he's like you know can we take this muzzle off at some point like you know it's oh no no and he wanted to kill kyle on day three even though he's a dog person i don't have a great day we have a pit bull for him yeah man you don't have an ak i've got an m4 this is the third pit i've had let me tell something. The only dog I ever had that was aggressive and tried to bite people was my St. Bernard. He tried to kill humans, and he was supposed to be the nice one. Man, my last pit bull was scared of squirrels. This motherfucker wouldn't go in the yard when this big squirrel was out there. He would chase them into the house my argument this guy here come on man he's just gonna jam all pitbulls

are bad i'm saying some dogs are bad and it's not the owner we hired a trainer to come in and teach him to be less of an asshole and teach us to teach him to be less of an asshole we took him to the kennel to socialize him with other dogs. But we weren't going anywhere. He just had to live in the kennel. We took him for walks around the yard. He always wanted to murder. Let me ask you something.

Yeah. What do you think about Dalmatians? Because they bite more people. They're the dumbest. And they bite people. And they're dumb. And they're very umbrella. serve they're like dumb animals exactly pit bulls man there may there might there be a pit bull that just is trying to kill of course

there was a great day there have been you would like to see a few hand a few thousand videos golden retrievers maybe i watched a video yesterday um this uh this man is in the street he has a small dog little like yappy dog there are three pit bulls killing it they're killing it and he's on the ground trying to save his dog he's crying he's screaming for some someone to help and he's got his little dog and these pit bulls are all locked on to and they're having a great Time and nobody will help because they're killing his little dog his little dogs already dead at this point but he's he won't he won't let them have it to tear it apart and the cops finally show up and They're beating the pitbulls with batons and the pitbulls will not release and so they start

Executing the pitbulls one by one with it handgun. And one bullet won't do it. They still want to kill the dog that badly. Pop, pop, pop. Pit bull's still killing the little dog. Pop, pop, pop. Pit bull's dead. Pop, pop, pop. Pit bull's dead.

Pop, pop, pop. Pit bull's dead. They have to kill them all because they have such a prey drive. They're so focused on killing that little dog that this guy had. But again, dude, but again, you're telling a story where if these dogs are wild or loose or in a backyard and they're bred like that, that's what's going to happen. And people don't breed goldens or whatever's to do it because they're not as efficient, right? You would breed, if you wanted a violent dog, that's the one you would make violent. It's the same with a Rottweiler or whatever. You're not going to, you can make any dog angry and want to bite other people period it's

the how the owner trains that but you'll be every little dog i try to pet tries to kill me every single fucking one i have a theory that ties into your owner theory because like i little dogs i would say are more likely to go to the bathroom in the house why because the owners tolerate it oh no not for me they're to me it's just napoleon complex all over the place but but i look man i'm not saying that you can't pull up a video with a pit bull being violent you of course can But what I'm telling you is it's just like a kid, man. Who's raising it? Who's raising it? That's it.

Who's raising that kid? And some kid's going to be an asshole, and some kids aren't. It's not one or the other, really. It's a mix of both. Like Kyle talking about how the dachshund like is going to instinctively do what it was bred for. Like, yeah,

a dog bred to fight other dogs is going to be more likely to be a dog that fights other dogs. I would imagine. If you guys want, I knew this wasn't a good topic because obviously you love your dog and I'm sure your dog's sweet as a button. Um, but for anybody who wants to do a little bit of research the the place that i like

to go is a little subreddit called and this is the subreddit of the week of course it's called ban pitbulls right down the middle over there yeah you're doing some even keel reporting right down the middle. The number one meet. Hang on. Let me show you the number one post over there right now. It's again, right down the middle. Let me open this up.

Copy it on over. Is it that collage showing all the dogs doing what they're bred to do and it goes genetics, genetics, genetics, genetics, genetics, genetics, and then the pit bull fighting and the pit bull goes, it's all in how you raise them? It's actually this one right here.

I just linked. Josh, can you show that one? Oh, Jesus Christ. Or Zach. I'm sorry. Zach, could you show that one? I'm excited for this. The funny thing is the header for this subreddit is all people

who have been killed by pit bulls. Jesus Christ. The entire header, and itreddit is all people who have been killed by pitbulls. Jesus Christ. The entire header. And it's not like three people. It's like 15 people who have all been murdered by pitbulls. Dude, that dog's doing tricep pushdowns. By the way. You know, that dog does dips with a belt weight.

That dog looks like Vin Diesel. Holy shit, that dog is jacked. Is that his chest or those titties? What has he got? Those are his delts. He's got defined delts. He's mid-dip right now. If he takes a step forward, you see his other four nipples, which is hilarious.

I mean, when you understand that he's only eating the child to hit his macros, it's understandable. By the way, why do I feel like he's standing up? He's on two feet. And you know what the best part is? We all know he's wearing Timberlands.

This dude right here for sure is walking out of the tunnel right now. That dog wears Black Air Force Ones or I bet my life on it. I guarantee it. Some of you will get that joke. That one's narrow. That is a whole subreddit of banned pitbulls.

And you know what? This doesn't seem biased. No, not at all. It's right down the middle, like I said. Right down the middle. Nobody lies with stats. It's math. You can't lie with them easily. Yeah.

No, listen. There's no doubt that they have definitely checked both sides of the coin with their reporting. Remember that baby the pit bull raped to death? Rape to baby? Yeah, rape to baby to death. And lit it on fire. The pit bull had a lighter no one said they're not smart i'm not making that story up

people did not rape a child to death there's no way can't whenever i say something like this nobody believes me this is where i try to do like do you want to bet can i make some money off this i'll let wo Woody field that one. He's Googling right now. He can't bet. I don't know if the baby died. That is... Okay, are you serious? Oh my gosh.

The police have said there is no human involvement in the sexual assault of this toddler. It's almost too bizarre to believe a pit bull sexually assaulted a two-year-old boy. So the dog raped the young child that was crawling on the floor. That was Bill Cosby's dog. That was little Cos. And it raped the young boy. And for those who don't know what a dog's

penis looks like it has this big bulbous knot on the base of it that makes it lock into the female so that the the semen stays in her longer and it makes it more likely that they'll propagate anyway that locked into the infant the toddler if you will and so now they are attached cock to ass and of course the parents discover this because the kid's not enjoying it so he's screaming so the mother screams the dog is raping my baby i tried to get the dog away from the baby the dog was already inside the baby when the baby was finally this is a meryl street movie it was visibly sick uh the boy was vomiting and bleeding ah this is getting sad the baby was rushed to the Women and Children's Hospital

where he underwent reconstructive surgery. What's the date on this article? This is yesterday. Let me double check. Yeah, 2007. You know what the best part about this is, Woody? What is the best part? What is the good part of this story?

This isn't even the dog rape of a toddler I was referring to. This is like hammer murders in St. Louis. There's a rash of them. So the one I talked about, it was locked into the child, and when the parents tried to do something, the dog took off running, dragging the toddler by his asshole through the house. I love Taylor's reaction to that. That's my favorite.

That's the best part of the night. That's horrific. He went, being dragged around by your asshole. Yeah. Oh, don't act like that's never happened to you before. Not with the,

when I, with teeth. Oh yeah. I would, I thought that you were like, when you said that, uh, pit bull rape story.

And I said, there's no way I was like oh shit I'm supposed to agree with them and act like this is a real thing right now you're supposed to yes and yeah and no I didn't you didn't have to yes and you just it's in the article hey in reading these stories I found another pit bull that saved a teenage girl from being raped Apollo the hero dog heroes comes in all shapes and sizes and some even have four legs it goes on well there that saved a teenage girl from being raped. Apollo the Hero Dog. Heroes comes in all shapes and sizes, and some even have four legs. It goes on.

Well, there you go. Right down the middle. That's us here at PKA, okay? Yes, occasionally a pit bull will rape your child, but occasionally save your child from rape. Two sides of the coin, folks. Two sides of the coin. And you know what? Sometimes they just eat twice a day and take a couple of

walks. Very rarely. I would say that's the most common thing that they do. Just like other dogs, maybe there are a few outliers. They're already called pit bulls being cool and chilling in my house.

I mean, there might be. This story, that attacker would kill this teenage Pitbull's being cool and chilling in my house. I mean, there might be. This is chilling for sure. Dude, this story? Now, I will say, Kyle. This teenage girl had tried to pull her pants down. The playful pup turned protective and intervened, chomping down on the subject's legs while he ran away. He was all happy, like he didn't know what he did.

He was all happy. He just wanted to run. The dog had a great day. I mean, here's a positive story. Pitbull swims five miles out to sea to bite a child. Now that one doesn't seem real. I don't know, man. Keep reading.

Let's find out. It's a good swimmer. Is it on the onion? Oh, my God. You never know. Maybe some of these children the pit bulls are killing were like Hitlers or something of the future. Right. Maybe when they're not in our

guys you guys are clutching your purses a little too tight on this i mean oh when we're not talking to people on pitbulls i have no opinion i don't care i'm actually a member of a hate group. So it is very close to my heart. We burn tiny crosses in pit bulls yards. Tiny little crosses of milk. Yeah. Tiny little pit bull side crosses. Guys, I got a jet.

All right. We've enjoyed you. Yeah, it was great. You got to come on soon. I would love to, guys. I always appreciate you having me. Is that edible kicking in yet? What's having me Is that edible kicking in yet? What's that?

Is that edible kicking in yet? Yeah yeah absolutely That's why I want to go get some snacks Are we on your tour again? Josh Blue Comedian Yeah yeah yeah Comedianjoshwolf.com And

Comedianjoshwolf.com for tour dates And my special Drop on october 19th on my youtube channel but i'll be putting out promos uh leading up to it awesome man thank you so much for coming everybody check out his links below and i hope we see it at the show let me know if you guys want to go and i'll set you up. Thank you. That'd be really nice. Yeah.

I will definitely do my best to make it. I'm going to be traveling around a lot this year. Okay. All right, guys. All right. Later, man.

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to learn more excellent deal excellent deal when you've got a really hard dick you don't want to be worried about anything but fucking and that includes having your internet data stolen so go ahead and activate that activate that vpn i'm really i'm stretching here it's so much easier when it's like casper mattress and dick pills yeah not that one but oh that was great i love having josh on yeah me too me too make shows easy check him out, that's very true. Have you guys followed Gabby Patino at all? I don't know what that is. I don't even know who that is.

Okay. Gabby Patino was a van life chick. Cute girl. And Instagram. Oh, yeah. Her. She's a big story right now. So she traveled out with her boyfriend.

There was a 911 call, a little domestic dispute. And a few days later, she goes missing. Boyfriend goes home without her. I'm sorry, fiance. And he's like, yeah, I don't know what happened to her. It could be anything. Well, now they found her murdered body homicide. Do they know how?

Like strangled or shot? They haven't told us. Okay. Yeah. So all they've released publicly is that they ruled it a homicide. And the boyfriend is now missing from this thing. They got him too. Natural conclusion.

Most people think that he murdered her. He's a person of interest. He wasn't originally officially. Everybody including me was like, dude did it, right? They're not getting along. The 911 call is interesting because there's

police body cams. And you can see the footage. And she called about this, wanting the police to come help intervene. And then when you got there, she seemed like the bad guy. Dude had scratches on him. He's the more calm in dealing with the police. And he's like, she she did this she did that you know like it's cool they just um separated them one stayed in the van one stayed in a hotel

for that night uh not a good situation but also probably not like super i don't know i've never had the police or the domestic disturbance at my house but whatever now she's dead and there's a question of why are they looking at her she's a pretty blonde woman or she was anyway and um there's a term for there's a term for missing white woman syndrome and uh i think who's the comedian he used to do is it hannibal burris treese o'neill what oh you're right you are right yeah um he used to be he said if i ever go out in the ocean i'm putting a little white girl baby on a keychain that's great yeah just so they come find him there she is and that's the dude that's the fiance thanks zach and uh so they're like hey is this missing white woman syndrome

where they're only reporting this story because she's a pretty blonde and there's something to be said for that like i don't know how many can we like it's more of a miss natalie holloway chandra levy like oh okay so he's like that's another valid argument too you know like yeah and she's an instagram influencer i don't know how big her instagram was but there are thousands of people following her story and her you know wonderful fake van life and you know just what a what a privilege every day waking in these uh amazing sunrises is that's that an instagrammer might put about van life so like look if any of us like just did the van life thing and then showed up miss and then like my wife came home and i'm missing and she pretended like yeah i

don't know what happened to that dude it would be a story too even though i'm not a pretty young white woman and because you know whatever like 400 million views on my YouTube channel, people would have an interest in it that they wouldn't otherwise. Having said that, tell me all the stories we hear about missing old dudes or missing people of color. Like it totally doesn't exist. I don't know.

I guess, I guess you're really talking about this news media and, and them uh yeah it's what sells yeah what they report on like if if he had killed her on the side of the road and the police cam saw it it wouldn't really be a story you know like it would be like oh this maniac murdered his girlfriend what a crazy like and it wouldn't have gone anywhere like the guy her being missing body found in the woods like a guy disappears't have gone anywhere like the guy her being missing body found in the woods like a guy disappears it's like i think the mystery is what drives a

lot of people because like true crime is huge like some of the biggest podcasts in the world are true crime have you ever seen mr ballen on youtube the guy used to be a navy i won't get his name right it's like mr and then ballen ballen is it's spelled B-A-L-L-E-N. And he does like he does like five videos a week. He's an ex Navy SEAL. And he does these like one of his more popular video series is called three places you're not allowed to go and people who went there. And it's it's it's things like restricted areas, dangerous places to go, things like spelunking down like cave diving, and things like that, you know, you get that sign It's like there's nothing beyond this sign worth dying for and these assholes go anyway And they don't have the right nitrogen mixture for their for their scuba tanks and they end up getting

Like nitrogen drunkness and then dying down in holes and stuff. He has some really creepy videos there was there's this guy who was um, was actually like a quasi YouTuber. And he was one of those guys who does like extreme hiking. It's like when you just go off into the desert for like a couple of days, like just kind of wandering. And, uh, he had claimed in his YouTube video that he found this cave,

um, out near area 51 near Nellis air force base. And that when he tried to enter it, it felt like his body was vibrating. And he couldn't go any further. And he was overcome with this sensation of vibration in his body. And he couldn't go into the cave.

And they're like, bullshit, no way. And then some people were like, well, fucking go back and document it, dude. And he was like, you know what? I am going back. I am going back. Well, he goes back and he's like, I couldn fucking go back and document it, dude. And like, he was like, you know what? I am going back. I am going back. Well, he goes back and he's like, I couldn't find it. I was out there for three days and I couldn't find it.

And like the fact that he kind of came back and said, I couldn't find it rather than disappearing kind of led a little credence to his original story. Yeah. And they're like, a lot of people kind of getting behind him. Like, dude, go, go back. We want to know more about this. He goes back a third time and he's never seen from again. They send out huge search parties, and all they ever find is his cell phone sitting in the sand out in the middle of nowhere with no damages or blood or scratches or anything.

They never found him. And he's got lots of creepy fucking stories like that. And like, I'll watch like six of them in a row. And then I'm just like, you know what? I got up. This is, this is, this is making me, this is fucking me up.

I got, I got a really cool looking channel. Like I've never heard of this guy. It's a great channel. You can binge the fuck out of it. I love spooky shit like this. The spooky, the mystery.

So like, yeah, I need to watch some of this guy's stuff, but I think just especially surrounding this like missing thing uh from what i've heard from you like the mystery seems to be the driving factor mysteries are cool and then like he's a very good storyteller so like you're kind of hanging on to every word like yeah and then what yeah okay oh he'll present the mystery he's like and then they smelled something funny but no one knew what it was and you're like what was it and then finally he's like what had happened was a man was being

chased by police he fled up a fire escape onto the roof of the grocery store went into what's sort of you know groceries some stores will have like this thing that makes it look much bigger than it really is like in the storefront and it was hollow this big signage was hollow and had a little door to access the inside of it maybe to change bulbs or something he went into that hot summer day hot summer day and the store had those pillars out in front those with like stone laid into them kind of like some fireplaces will have in cabins and but it's hollow hollow. It's, you know, it's a hollow pillar for some reason. He climbed down into the hollow pillar feet first, one arm pinned by a side,

the other above his head. And he kept sliding all the way down into the pillar until he was jammed in. And he's technically right in front of the entrance to a busy grocery store, but no one can hear his screams because he can't really get a breath because he's so compressed. Hot summer's day. They find him five days later because he's leaking goo out. He's dead. He's been rotting.

And it's smelling so badly that they call like a repairman or a plumber. They call him plumber because they think it's a sewage issue. But he peels off one of the blocks off the wall, and they see the guy's leg. And there's so many stories like that, just ridiculous stories. That sounds cool. Yeah, it's a good channel.

He's an interesting guy. Like I said, Ex-Navy SEAL. I haven't watched his video where he explains that. He talks about his backstory, but his stories are really well told, and they're often dark and mysterious and fascinating. He talked about the catacombs in, is it Paris, that has those catacombs underneath with like 7 million people buried down there,

and there's miles of them. There's some creepy shit about that that I watched a video of. Interesting channel. It's one of my favorites right now yeah i need a mystery or a crime thing to to watch that's it's a very fascinating little uh i guess genre it's so hip right now my wife is watching it she just consumes like every night she's watching more murder stuff and some of it's poorly done but she can't get enough of it yeah it's fascinating yeah i like his channel a lot some of it is just like dumbass of the week essentially like like there was this um this artificial lake you know they

built a dam and now there's a lake and they have this thing called a spillway when i envisioned a spillway it's it's water flowing over the dam in a certain area but a spillway the way he referred to it is this circular pipe out in the middle of the lake where water just flows over the top of it over the lip of it straight down 200 250 feet and then goes under the dam and out that way that way the water level never gets too high it's very wide like wide enough probably for a car to fall into this chick swims out to it because she wants to like peek over the edge and look down into the hole and she like swims past signage warning like past buoys and rope and she gets the edge and there's so much current that she's washed in but she grabs the edge and she's holding the edge for 20 minutes waiting on rescue personnel

and then she you know it's a woman so she's got no grip strength so she falls 200 man would have been fine i had a fucking muscle to muscle up ejected myself out of the water like aquaman done like like like two wiggles like michael phelps and i'd have been back on shore you know but that's what guys do that's what guys guys are pretty cool we do we do who keeps the metric system down we do i've been the other thing that's been recommended to me and i watched too many of who keeps the metric system down? The other thing that's been recommended to me and I watched too many of them.

So now my feed is full of it is old Simpsons clips. And like, I saw one that I had never seen before. We're like, I don't know the backstory. It's a 42nd clip, but Homer's building like a float in his yard, you know, like a parade float flowers.

And, uh, Flanders is like, Hey neighbor, uh, you have to take all my, all my flowers for your float well yeah i need a lot of flowers flanders he's like yeah but uh did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow he like picks up a hand of salt

to steal someone's flowers and salt their garden. The algorithm discovers you like something. And then it keeps giving you more and more. So take that and park it. You know how Norm MacDonald's sort of his shtick. To me it's like his only joke. Is he takes something and makes it uncomfortably long. And just keeps like doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it.

He is doing this to me from beyond the grave. I watch a Norm Macdonald video and then YouTube is like, oh, this guy really likes Norm Macdonald videos. And it gives me another one and another one. And my dumb ass keeps clicking on them where he just tells a 15 second story in five minutes. And I'm just being tortured by Norm Macdonald. Oh, you're not,

you're not watching the right videos then because I've been going on Norm Macdonald trips through YouTube also. And I'm like laughing the whole time. He's one of my favorite standups ever. I think he was fucking hysterical. If, if you just watch his stuff on like Conan or where he's trying to make talk show hosts uncomfortable,

you're going to get those long jokes, but you watch his like regular stand-up you'll see like a whole lot more to him i think you would even i think you'd like his real stand-up maybe that's not what i'm getting i'm getting the other stuff for that stand-up so he'll like go on like morning uh i don't even want to call it news like you know the morning shows that are kind of like yeah yeah happy good morning america whatever the fuck yeah that sort of thing and just want to torture the presenters like every once in a while i'll look up like a comedian and it'll be oh bill burr i'm gonna watch some old bill burr clips and then you inevitably for some reason anytime you start watching a comedian you get funneled to late night talk it's never

more of their early uh early clips or more of the early stand-up it's all fucking conan or jimmy fallon or whatever but like i find when i watch those i'm like oh this is just really not good content i'm gonna google more specifically to watch this person stand up instead of watching them basically be hamstrung trying to you know do bits of their act and they can't do the full bit on there because it's not always appropriate for the show. Yeah, I don't really think the comedians on late night is a very funny thing generally. Yeah, comedians on late night are almost like bad guests sometimes. Like if we have a guest on here and we're being funny and they're like, oh no, that's too blue comedy for me. I don't like this and they just drag it down.

That's what every late night news does to a good comedian. I don't know anybody in my life who regularly watches any of those late night shows. At all. Do you guys? Who's keeping them in business? I don't even watch TV anymore. Do you have anyone in your life who watches

regular TV? My grandparents. My dad does too yeah like i as soon as starlink is available i'm hooking that man up like like he needs he needs fucking internet dude i went over there the other day he's watching gun smoke he's watching gun smoke reruns on tv with commercials i boomer i he literally is he's been born in 1953 he's born in 1953 he loves it he's like he's like gun smokes on i'm like isn't it on every day i'm like he's like it's all that's on he needs like a queer eye for the straight guy entertainment makeover where we

just teach him about what the world has nowadays here's what i'm thinking like i think i'm gonna buy him the entire box set of the wire a blu-ray player and i already got him like a nice 4k tv that he's watching standard def gun smoke on so like i'm gonna go over and set that shit up and just be like like dad just here you go here's 50 hours of entertainment let me know when this runs out and i'll go buy the Sopranos box set. Let me know when that's done. And I'm going to, maybe I'll get him Game of Thrones. Like, like, like God, it's good for six years. Well, you know, I'll find him something, but God damn it. Guns, at least for my own like edification, I can't sit there and watch gun smoke anymore. It's, it's awful. So the quality of old TV is awful. And I bet Taylor sees this in hockey.

I've been an NBA fan for a couple of years now. And sometimes I go and I watch the old stuff like, you know, young Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, et cetera, you know, have their highlights.

And it's like a tragedy that this is the footage that exists of it. This blurry, lousy, like you can only have, see what's happening in this play as it unfolds and it sucks like i bet all the footy of footage of wayne gretzky is just garbage yeah like and it wouldn't have been garbage if like you're watching it in like its heyday because you have no point of comparison like now if i watch hockey highlights and it's like oh this

awesome clip from mario lemieux scoring five goals in one game i get like two hockey highlights and it's like oh this awesome clip from mario lemieux scoring five goals in one game i get like two minutes in and i'm like i'm not to toot my own horn but i know a lot about the sport i can track the play well i can track the flow of the game and it's like even knowing that and like i can't see the puck but i know where it is this is unwatchable like i can't even see mario lemieux's face celebrating after he scores the fifth goal because it's so pixelated like it's just not terrible yeah i'm so ready for hockey season to be back so ready for it the 76ers are the center of the nba drama right now they have i don't know if i'm exaggerating to say their second best player is one of the top 10 in the NBA, maybe. His name is Ben Simmons. And he had a bad playoffs.

The front office and the coach sort of were negative on him. They're like, do you think you can win a championship with this guy? And they're like, I don't really know, which isn't the right answer. And he doesn't want to come back. And because he's not willing to play for him, he's tanking his own trade value. Because he's tanking his own trade value because he's taking his own trade value and he wants to be traded the sixers can't trade him and he's like it's not my job to make sure you get a good trade so now as soon as preseason starts you can make both arguments um he gets fined i read three hundred thousand dollars a game even for preseason exhibition games.

And I also read like quarter million per game. But he's going to start taking these. And he's saying he's more than prepared to pay this fine. He has a giant contract. And everyone in the NBA is watching what happens to Ben Simmons right now. It's the center of the basketball world. And it's the center of my team. I get not wanting – I get being a player for a team this is happening

with jack eichel a player for the buffalo sabers right now where he just you know and with tarasenko for the blues like these players they want out but at the same time it's like yeah you have to then play some games put up some crazy scores and then we'll be able to trade you because if you're like a dark question mark no one's going to be be willing to pay your GM what he thinks and knows your worth. And so like, I don't know, I'm not a professional athlete,

so I can't put myself in their position, but like, I feel like I would be like, Oh, is that what needs to happen for me to get out of here? Can I go play for the golden state warriors? If I put up whatever a great amount of points is in the basketball game, 50,

like a few times, like do that a couple times and then like you're just i don't know it's like he's forcing himself to wait longer would be my thought like just just deal with it go play look awesome be a ball hog whatever it takes just you know force yourself to be valuable yeah well my sports are going well i'm sorry cut you off keep going no no no actually i think we're gonna talk about georgia i'm down yeah let me yeah uga three and oh uh we we beat beat up on south carolina pretty effectively i think i said early on you know how south carolina always plays

us pretty pretty tough every year just regardless of how good they are um this is our year this is our year as what he likes to say yes because, because he has chosen Georgia to be his team. And going pretty well so far. 3-0. The real test is, of course, Florida. And then it's smooth sailing after that, in my opinion. I think we stomp Tennessee and kind of glide to an SEC title game. So nothing's really changed there.

Let me see what the Braves are currently doing. I think BAM is undefeated too, right? Oh, of course they are. Oh, yeah. We're on a collision course. Braves leading the east uh nl east uh they're 79 and 70 uh phillies in second place um they're 77 and 74 so um you know not even really that close the they're three games back oh this is the cardinals have won 10 in a row yeah they're 81 and 69 but the milwaukee brewers are 91 and 60 yeah they're only second place yeah people in my twitch chat we're talking about the cardinals they're like are you excited about the cardinals i'm like

you're thinking of the other guy you're thinking of the other guy who also doesn't care about the card yeah the other guy who really doesn't give a shit either um so no not excited about the cardinals at all yeah no it's like it's painful and i because everybody is so into the cardinals like i've said before but like i'll try and talk like if i'm like somewhere where you know you go with your wife or your girlfriend and like you and she's with her friends and their significant others are all there and so it's like just with a random group of guys would be like yes well how about the blues and then it's like two seconds of conversation and they're all baseball guys would be like oh did you see we got mckinley i mean his era isn't nearly what it needs to be based on blah blah but the the cards have a really good shot and it's i can't get

into baseball i wish i liked it because there's more content there than any sport around but they play a lot of games it's just not not my jam i'm not super into it either you know like i haven't been really in years but you know i still go back to it i just i don't know it's some it's something from my childhood that i was just so into yeah understandable for sure taylor can you explain this to me so the carolina hurricanes obviously the most entertaining team in the NHL. They're pretty good, and they have the best front office, and they're a bunch of jerks, and it's cool. Okay.

So they decide to troll the Montreal Canadiens. Years ago, and there's a restrictive free agent, if I understand this right. Tell me if I get anything wrong. And I can offer a player on your team a contract, but because he's restricted, you can match it and keep him. And the Canadians do that to the Hurricanes. And it basically just makes them pay more for a player.

So, the Hurricanes do it back to the Canadians. And they offer this guy $6,100,000 and, for some reason, $35 for a one-year contract and a signing bonus of $20

which is to make sure everyone knows damn well that it's a revenge offer against number 20 from a few years earlier. And the Canadians decide like,

oh, well, you can just have him. Who won this troll? Are we overpaying for a jackass? Do we have a player? Did we want him in the first place? The Reddit I go to the most is the hockey one, and I mean, it's egregiously wrong on so many takes, but it's called an offer sheet

like you said and it's a it's very frowned upon in the hockey community uh so Montreal did that to Sebastian Ajo who's probably the best player on the Carolina Hurricanes and had they got him that would have been crippling for the Hurricanes because he's like there's he's their franchise guy he's a tremendous center he's a great all-around player he's the kind of guy you want to build around and this offer sheet to his name is jesperi katkaniemi from finland uh at first or pretty much the the agreed upon take was like oh man that's so shitty of the canes to put montreal in this position but a lot of the montreal fans and hockey kind of writers who are often wrong were like yeah but sebastian ajo when

they did that was an established guy montreal was trying to get in like a high level center in the nhl who was proven or mostly proven this guy is 21 years old he's got three seasons in. He's never had more than 34 points. So really, he is not worth by a long shot the money that the Canes are paying for him. So it almost kind of backfired, I would say. And he's still 21. 21 means he could have a breakout year. He was a first-round, third-overall pick. So he could explode. He has a very high ceiling.

So it's up in the air. But if he's like a middling guy yeah it's not the end of the world if anything what you want him to do is have a very middling season and then you sign him for like three years for cheap you don't want him to go out there and score 40 and then have to sign him for nine million or something but yeah i think uh time will tell he's too young which is like any athlete you don't know but just gut take. I think that the Hurricanes ended up fucking themselves a little bit. They played themselves.

Yeah, it's just a year, so who cares? They had the cap space, but yeah, this guy, and this guy's the one who made out like a bandit. He's 21, and he's going to get what for his qualifying contract? We're going to give you $2.6 million for you to stick around for three years, and Carolina's like, we'll give you $6.2 million to come here for one. And he's like, that sounds pretty good. I'm going. And $20. They gave him a $20 signing

bonus as some joke. I hope he takes that $20 bill and puts it on the wall like restaurants do. Definitely made out like a bandit. Good for that guy so we'll see um yeah if you're done with hockey talk i want to talk about ufc because it's a big weekend coming up ah what's going on who's fighting uh it's a big card i wouldn't say it's one of those colossal uh super bowl cards or anything but it's uh it's some of my favorite people and it's a couple of fights that have uh interesting implications and a couple fights that just seem to be made out to be a be wars alexander volkanovsky's fighting brian ortega last time

i saw ortega fight he got beaten into a pulp who was it that beat him so good was it was it max holloway or somebody was max holloway yeah he looked like he'd been in a car accident after it was over it was i I'm pretty sure that was a year and a half, two years ago, and the reason he's been gone is because of the beating that Max Holloway put on him. Ortega's a very durable fighter, and he won a lot of

fights with these third round comebacks. So, when you put a really durable fighter against a better fighter, it hurts. Especially a volume fighter like max. Um, yeah, just took one of the,

one of the worst beatings I've ever seen in the cage that, that, that like there, there's some beatings that happen in the span of 20 seconds. You know, the guy, the guy just each shot, each shot,

each shot. Now he's on the ground. Ref doesn't quite stop it cause he's still defending, but he's just eating like 18 shots to the head. This happened over the course of like 20 minutes it was like 20 minutes it was like a torture scene it was it was it was it was a little hard to watch at times it was like ever seen that russian video where there's a guy with a screwdriver and then the hammer and then it was bad yeah um and then valentina shevchenko um my future wife is fighting uh lauren murphy

i don't know lauren murphy i don't either i know what's gonna happen to her though i know what's gonna happen to her i know lauren murphy is gonna be quite so pretty tomorrow let me let me get a close-up picture of her face if i can oh she's not that pretty right now well she wasn't pretty yesterday she's not pretty today and she's not gonna be pretty tomorrow uh sorry lauren i know you watch every week um and then like the one that i think like a lot of insiders are hyped for is of course nick diaz has come back after what five fucking years against a great opponent in robbie lawler who is like everybody loves robbie just a fucking warrior and a half like like like i could picture rob picture Robbie being in a gladiatorial arena a thousand years ago.

He's that kind of fighter. So that's a really cool one. I think Robbie's going to take it. I was going to ask you what you thought about that one. Diaz or Lawler? Lawler, in my mind, for sure. Diaz hasn't won in 10 years. This is who

Valentina Shevchenko is fighting by the way. She looks fucking manly. She's ripped. She's not pretty but she looks like a she's put on this earth to beat up other girls. She's got a face like you know when they unearth someone from 5,000 years ago in Ukraine. Yeah.

One of those people they put on the mountain and petrify. dude those are huge because you got to keep in mind they're in that they're in two sports bras right double sports bra typically and i mean look at her body fat right that's no no she's fighting she's pretty and she looks girlier too i mean she's very athletic but she still looks girl like an athletic woman chef she goes like one of my favorites of all time you could take those arms and put them on a dude and they would look totally reasonable even good yeah uh and then i'm not as crazy about it but i mean i know the fighters who are fighting the rest of the way curtis blades is fighting uh jessica andrage is fighting um another like manly physique jessica andra yeah but a little girl too and then and then like headlining the prelim card um marlon marias

is uh down there so like i always like watching him fight dan hooker's also on that card yes he is i think i feel like so hooker's a good fighter, but I know the backstory on this where I think he just got the offer like three days ago. Had a real hard time getting his visa. He's like flying from if I'm not right on this, I'm close from like New Zealand to where Vegas. I think it is dealing and then making weight the next morning. So he's like cutting weight on the flight to Vegas and then making weight and then fighting. This guy has so many obstacles in front of him that it seems like the betting against him.

Like, I don't know what the odds are, but I'm just like, man, this is a good fighter. Who's going to have a bad day yeah the odds are stacked against him there for sure um yeah and it's one of those fight nights that are not fight nights but nights of fights because fight nights are their own actual thing where like the main

card has five fights the uh the prelim card has four fights and the early prelims have another four sometimes the early prelims will literally be one or even two fights. And it's like, ah, okay. They're like, all right, well that was a good fight.

And now we're going to switch on over to, I'm like, wait, sometimes fights get canceled and they just get elevated and the early prelims end up with one or two left. But yeah, it's a lot of good stuff. I think Nick Diaz hasn't fought in ages. And he hasn't won in longer than that.

I'm going to look it up. It won't take long. Yeah. I had like five years in my head, but maybe I'm just dumb. Ooh, could be more. Almost there. Yeah, it's been forever. His last win was 2011. Ten years ago, he beat BJ Penn. BJ Penn's his last win?

Yeah. Two of us can take bj i think that's true i've seen guys at bars bj i've seen dudes at strip clubs whip bj pins ass okay that's literally true two of us take bj pin right here right now like like like he's look wherever bj penn is he's drunk we're sitting here sober we're hyped up and ready to go i had a big meal before we started this all up i'm energized let's go i'm on caffeine he's not sober right now is he haven't even hit my workout today i could use a little light work is he a big drinker that's right bjp we're calling you out right here right now bj penn has fallen into an unhealthy lifestyle pen has fallen into an unhealthy lifestyle he's fallen into a very unhealthy lifestyle which is probably not helped

by all the years of him getting his brain pounded in by said by professional fighters he was one he is one of the all-time greats yes yeah and it's a sad story to a very wealthy family which is interesting um a lot of top level fighters come from poverty and it you know the story is it's usually part of their motivation like they're fighting for their their life out there almost you know losing this fight has huge ramifications bj pan i it comes from like i don't want to exaggerate it but it was wealthy enough that I don't think he needed a job. Certainly didn't need a job where you get beaten up every night. Yeah.

But he was legit. He was one of the all-time greats. If he didn't have GSP standing between him and that title, he would have been maybe the all-time great. I don't know. He really didn't struggle against anybody except gsp like grease gate whole thing at the time i was definitely on bj penn's side with grease gate that was that was upsetting for me as a as a fledgling fan i remember watching that i may have been on spike tv when i saw that fight it's been so long ago but george saint pierre essentially

for taylor's benefit was greased up to the point where BJ Penn, who was a grappler, couldn't hold on to the man. Yeah, I remember hearing about it. You guys told me about this. He was like fucking Willie in The Simpsons, where he's like, Grease me! Grease me! That's very cheaty, but also pretty smart.

Yeah. I love whenever Willie takes his shirt off, how fucking ripped he is. Yeah. BJ Penn's family owns a good portion of the land in Hawaii. Jesus Christ. A good portion? Yeah, we own Hawaii. Which island? They own Boardwalk

and Park Place, for Christ's sakes. So anyway, yeah, he comes from generational wealth. I don't know, there's something cool about that to me that, um, well, I guess both sides of this coin are cool. But for a guy to be that motivated when he didn't have to be is an interesting story. Yeah, yeah.

It's definitely one of those sports where you see a lot of poor kids who are fighting for family and fortune. And it's not all that frequent that you see someone who is the other side of that coin. The fight the other night between Anthony Smith. Is that the bald, light, heavyweight guy who's not very attractive? Come on, man. He looks like he came

right out of Lord of the Rings casting. He's so close to an orc, it's not even funny. He looks like something that the Persians would like unchained to fight the spartans in the end at the end of the battle he's so fucking ugly and big but uh the guy he was fighting was like that he was like he's like i end my fights quick because my family needs this money they need it now i was like god damn did it are they like hungry like while you're like recording this like like like take right now are they hungry while you're recording this take right now?

Are they over there, bellies growling? Like, come on, daddy. Can't you fight right now? He seemed that stressed out about making some money for his family. It was rough. And then he lost. And our boy Gollum here was talking. I guess there had been some shit talking before the fight.

And he's just like, where's that ass whooping you were going to give me where's it at now bitch and the other guy was just like that was just for the show i was hyping up a fight i didn't know he was mad he was like he was there like security comes in they're separating him he's like i'm not mad i wanted to shake the man's hand and and and he's over there you fuck you you bitch you never thought you talk shit And then he's over there. Fuck you, you bitch. You talk shit to me. Where's that asshole when you were going to give me? Because he did whip the guy's ass. Apparently.

So I found the most handsome picture of him. Oh, you sure did. Look at Mr. Peaky with his glasses on. I mean, he looks smart. Look at Rogan. I'm not going to say anything bad about Rogan. Rogan's a great guy. Anthony Smith could obviously put his chin on top of Rogan's head.

Is that where you're headed? I think Rogan's about six feet tall. Well, then he has a lot of tall guests. His guests are huge. I don't know how tall he is. I do. So, yeah, Anthony. Do you really?

Okay. I saw an analysis video where they compare his height with CGI lines and stuff to various known height athletes. And there's a conspiracy music playing in the background. It's like the X-Files theme song. And the lines come across. Sounds like unbiased reporting. Well, it's like this girl's 5'6", this guy's 5'7",

and then Rogan on his show being like, yeah, I'm about 5'8", and the guy's like, maybe 5'7 and 3 quarters. He's like, yeah, yeah, that's probably closer. And then like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And the lines come across, and it's just like, I don't know about 5'7". Oh, you think shorter than 5'7"?

I would guesstimate him to be 5'5", barefoot. Really? I think 5'8 is an average American height. Am I right on that? I think for the world, I think so. I think an average American male is 5'10". 5'10"? But we're splitting hairs here.

Yeah. I mean, you know Joe Rogan is short, but he's fibbing. You think he's fibbing himself into another three inches, two inches. You know, like who cares? I know he's not fibbing about the hundreds of millions of dollars that he's getting paid. That's true. He could afford like limb lengthening surgery. Was his Spotify deal $120 million?

I have it in my head i don't know i thought it was a cool hundo which either way maybe it is you're fine i wonder how much he get like i often like minecraft sold for two billion and i'm like oh that's a lot how much did notch actually get the answer is a billion which is plenty yeah um i mean how much does rogan get when he's touring with dave chappelle like jesus christ i bet he doesn't care not even a noticeable amount of money like for him at this point tens of thousands of dollars a night we i we have to talk about connor's first pitch oh my man look connor can't help but embarrass me as a connor fan wait what did he do did he give a horrible first pitch?

Oh, my God. It's amongst the worst first pitches in the history. First of all, let's take a chance. It's been a bad month for Connor. Before we even get to the pitch, he got into a scuffle with Machine Gun Kelly at the MTV Music Awards or some shit. A guy who literally has his face bedazzled uh i know somebody who knows machine gun kelly uh you do too and like who has like hung out with him before and uh we were talking about this this and he's like you know machine gun kelly is an

artist or whatever but he's actually kind of a tough guy like like no illusions that he can beat up conor mcgregor don't get me wrong but they what they were saying was like he's not the kind of guy who would like punk out to like anybody like he'd rather take an ass whipping than like be a bitch about something and apparently connor asked him for a photograph which is already very weak sauce if you're asking if you're conor mcgregor asking mgk for a a a photograph and machine Machine Gun Kelly is like, no thanks. I guess Connor gets in his face a little

and Machine Gun Kelly shoves him, making Connor spill his drink because Connor is on the cane right now from his broken leg. Connor throws the drink on Machine Gun Kelly. Now security is involved and Connor throws a punch, a terribly inaccurate punch that has been captured on camera while Machine Gun Kellylly is clutching megan fox like shielding her from the blow and

there's just this wild fucking punch coming over everyone's head so is that video there's a video of that or just the stills and like video that's very hard to make out but that's the breakdown from like multiple sources and then of course this week, as Woody was alluding, for some reason, they have the man throwing out the first pitch at some baseball game, and it's one of the all-time worst. Here it is. Watch. I like the mascot. Look at the mascot's impression.

I like the look back at him like, the fuck? A bit expression. Oh, my God. It hits the wall. It hits the wall. It hits the wall. It goes bouncing behind the plate. It is one of the top 10 worst of all time. There's no arguments, especially if you start discounting the people who were like clear

non-athletes. If you put a girl up there, put a blind person up there. They've done that before. Right. non-athletes like if you put a girl up there put a blind person up there they've done that before right it's like you don't expect the same things from like roseanne barr or older politicians or whatever you know like you say that george bush not only threw from the plate or from the mound which is an uncommon thing mind you i can we roll it back one more time and see if he's throwing from the mound or from the base of the mound i think he is i see it around

very much unrecommended by by by me let's just say that if you're not like dialed in if you're not a baseball player or something you don't throw from the mat he is on the mound how far is it from the mound of the plate i don't know exactly but what i'm getting at is that like normally like non-athletes people who you who you don't want to embarrass themselves, he's got his foot behind the fucking rubber. Everything about this is wrong. I mean, he's throwing in a tight suit as well, which is a terrible thing. George Bush threw from the fucking mound, not in front of the mound, threw a fucking strike with a little heat on it didn't

bounce it in and the man was wearing a sports or not a sports coat but like a uh like a zip up uh wind fly thing with a bulletproof vest under it of course because it's like a week after 9 11 present it wasn't he a baseball player or something like he owned a baseball team does that count maybe i didn't know if he did that because he was he loved it he owned the rangers uh or at least a significant portion of them i don't recall if he played baseball but um i watched this thing recently where it was him being interviewed and he's talking about like you know i wasn't nervous at all you know i can throw a ball i was in the i was downstairs under yankee stadium and they've got a they had a thing set up for me so i could throw and i was throwing everything was going well and and Derek Jeter walked in this is George Bush talking and Derek

Jeter walked in he's like hey hello Mr. President how are you you're doing great Derek how are you tonight just just let you know Mr. President uh are you throwing from in front of the mound or or on the mound he's like well I was gonna throw from in front of the mound ah you don't want to do that not in front of this crowd. They'll boo you. And I'll tell you what else. Don't bounce it. Or they'll boo you for that too.

He's like, now I'm nervous. Eric Jeter just said that they're going to boo me out of Yankee Stadium if I don't throw it from on the mound, which I hadn't been preparing for. And they're going to boo me if I bounced it in. Thousands of people disliking me all around the country. I don't know if that's something i can handle for the next eight years but this was at the height of like bush mania though right like like he had stood on the rubble with the fucking megaphone he had bombed some shit already i think maybe at this point like like we were ura mode and uh he came out there, and to his credit,

say what you want about murdering a million Iraqis and that trillion-dollar conflict. That hadn't happened yet. He fucking threw a strike with a little zip on it as like a 50-something-year-old man. I think W has the best politician first pitch I can think of. Did Trump throw one? He did, didn't he? Did he throw one? I think he threw one. I think he lobbed it in from in front of the play and it was fine

it wasn't embarrassed i have that memory maybe it's just some sort of like one of those things where you remember something that never happened like berenstein syndrome or something yeah yeah yeah but i have a memory of him throwing a pitch and it being okay. Maybe it was high or something. He didn't throw a strike, but I have a memory of him throwing one. I'm watching him throw one, and it was definitely good, but the one I'm looking at is from 2004.

It was way before his presidency. And many pounds ago as far as body and weight. It's a weird thing to be asked to do, right? So as president, he is the first president in 109 years to not throw a first pitch. Oh, man.

Yeah, that probably was smart. He knew he was too fat. I literally have the memory of him doing it, which is bizarre. I swear I can picture him in one of those big bulky suits he wears with a lot with a long looking like who's the chris christie looking like he's at a tombstone dude i'll never forget seeing chris christie in person and thinking like god damn donald trump is a fit man oh that's right you went to the rally yeah yeah like like seeing chris like i still have it in my head maybe it's just a good joke that, that Donald Trump only kept him around the campaign back in those days because he made him look so slim. Because Chris Christie had this fupa. They were sitting in chairs, the two of them. The chairs kind of cocked away from each other and pointed inward, both with mics in hand. It was very folksy. It was very town hall-like. And kind of it was it was very folksy. It was very town hall like.

And and Chris Christie had those like suspender socks that have the like the things that clamp onto them to keep them pulled way up. And they're like had some goofy pattern on them. And his pants are riding way up into his FUPA area. And like you can clearly make out like not dick and balls, but like this big wad where they should be. And like he's just sweating and there's donald trump over there looking fit by comparison not looking ridiculous his suit fits him very well even when sitting i'm sure like when he's getting a suit fitted he's like now let's see what it looks like when i sit down i think trump gained a bunch of weight towards the end of the campaign and beginning of the presidency. Like that period is,

and I, and in his defense, I, it is hard to eat well and travel. Yeah. Maybe for him, there's a whole different set of rules, but I just,

if you're on the road eating whatever you, they serve you on the airplane, it's going to be garbage food. It is his plan though. I know that's where I was getting debt with. Maybe the rules are different at that level. But I know if you put me on the road and I eat at restaurants, it's hard to have abs. Dude, presidential first pitches used to be retarded.

Apparently, it's fairly recently in regard to presidents. The first pitch used to be they would sit in the stands and just toss it to the guys playing. Or they would turn around and toss it to the sit in the stands and just toss it to the guys playing or they would turn around and toss it to the people in the stands it's only like what a few decades ago that they let them go to the mound and start throwing apparently bill clinton had a pretty good one too jimmy carter has a pretty good one there's a presidential first link pitches that zach linked yeah and carter's is as good as w's i I would say no. If I were the president and they asked me to throw the first pitch, I would say no. There's

very little gain and so much to lose. I would find someone who was at. I would use all the technology I had to get a really good pitcher who just retired the year before and put a bunch of prosthesis on him and then send him out there and they're going to be like, God damn, what a fit president.

97 miles per hour from Taylor, from President Taylor. Good Lord, sign this man up. Did you see the movement on that ball? Yeah, I wonder. He was through a breaking ball. I never played a throwing sport. They're putting him in. Well, I did a great job, what'd they say say i'm thinking about leaving the oval office for

something a little that pays a little better that's a that's a fun little uh tradition other sports don't really have that i guess because they're not structured in the same way putting a president on skates and having him do like the annual first slap. Oh, my God. Now Donald Trump out on the ice to make the historic first save. Put him in goalie equipment. Oh, that would be a true test of boxing. What about boxing? If he was going to go out there and first punch and throw the first punch will be thrown by Donaldald trump foreman's down

donald like whispers to mike he's like tyson you better you know you gotta take the dive here right you know you're going down right that's right mr president that's right mr pete you know how absolutely terrible i could make your life right another look at those rape charges do you really want to be audited just a weak pillow armed arm bullshit punch i don't know how far would you have to go back for a president to be able to throw a good solid punch all right in there During their presidency? Gerald Ford, maybe. I bet he could throw it.

Yeah, during the presidency. Look, Bill Clinton. I think first term Bill Clinton. I bet first. I mean, we know he could choke a bitch out. We heard the stories. With his dick. Yeah, he was quite the rapist.

Like, he handled Paula Jones like she was nothing. Yeah. Shoved her against that wall. I bet Obama could throw a punch. To me, he's like the most... He was younger, yeah. He was in his 40s, and he was still actively playing basketball. Sure.

There's something about basketball to me. I played it. It's fucking exhausting. You can't hide. You can't glide down the ice not working like you can in hockey you definitely like it's like playing soccer he's obama's the best cardio president we've had in a long time thinking of like good too yeah i guess w was fit i'm just thinking of like like roosevelt not the crippled one like he seemed like a tough cookie gerald ford is looked like when he was younger at least he was seemed like a tough cookie. Gerald Ford

looked like when he was younger, at least he was built like a brick shithouse. He looks pretty big. And then there's a bunch of horror. There's no way Nixon could throw a punch. There's no way Carter could. No. Most of our presidents aren't very cool at all.

Yeah. A lot of them are kind of academic studious types. I mean, good. Where they have their parents. Yeah. I wish they were more academic. I feel like George Bush wasn't the smartest whip.

Don't you dare. His dad was pretty bright, I thought. His dad was sketchy. Of course he was sketchy i like i don't know if he was sketchy wasn't he the head of the cia i was about to say the guy that ran the cia probably shouldn't be running the country right after that seems like a sketchy as if he wasn't running it from the head office of the cia i'm thinking to be obama as i'm almost taking back Obama was a very studious like academic minded president and that didn't always serve him well. Most of them, though, are EQ presidents.

Bill Clinton was an emotional guy. EQ, emotional quotient, right? It's the ability to relate to people. I know you guys know. I'm talking to the audience. So Clinton was high on that. W was super high on that. Reagan was super high on that.

Trump, I think he's all about relating to his audience. He's an EQ guy. So Clinton was high on that. W was super high on that. Reagan was super high on that. Trump. I think he's all about relating to his audience. He's an EQ guy. Biden's an EQ guy. Not like in recent history. That's what it takes to win elections and be a politician. Not so much constitutional scholar. Well, I mean, like the kind of people who front the money to get people elected president, like they don't want some goofy Poindexter nerd.

Sheldon Adelson or whoever isn't going to put $100 million behind some geeky I've got a plan to make our roads safer. They want someone who's going to be emotional. Look at Ronald Reagan, right? That's your poster boy. For EQ and just

populist over over substance right like like the guy was a movie star he was a fucking movie cowboy how big of a movie star was he before a really big one or like a middling star he was you know b movies yeah i mean he did a lot of westerns and shit like like like he was known he was he was no clint eastwood wasn't charles bronson or anything. His movies were from before my time, but it's my understanding he was straight to VHS kind of actor before VHS,

but that was the kind of movies he made. But enough so that he was a known entity already. Like, oh yeah, Reagan. Yeah, yeah. I think he was one of those campfire singing cowboys. But yeah, I don't know. That's a humiliating first throw by Conor McGregor,

but back to where we started. Yeah, for how athletic he is. That's not his sport. I imagine, but he clearly has a natural athleticism. Anyone who's in the UFC or the NBA or whatever, I imagine you take them you put them in a different scenario they're naturally better than someone picked off the street like they have a good yeah good mechanics like good mind body connection with

their muscles and the tension and everything it's like a snap like i'll give you a perfect example i bet a guy who can swing a bat is gonna fuck up a slap shot like i don't even i don't understand i know how to swing a baseball bat i bet i could go get in a batting cage right now and do okay man if you put me on the ice like forget the ice you put me on the ice i'll probably bust my ass but if even if you put me like in like street hockey i don't really understand the mechanics exactly of that thing i think i do i think it's more about kind of a twisting of the hips and flicking of the at the elbow and shoulders i guess that is true like like there's a lot kind of a twisting of the hips and flicking at the elbow and shoulders. I guess that is true.

There's a lot of wrist in a baseball swing. There's a lot of flicking. Do you flick your wrist with a slap shot? With a slap shot, no. Yeah, in my head, it's more of a... With a wrist shot, you want to use your wrist, obviously. Yeah, like in my basement, I have the hockey area. And every time people come over and they have a few drinks, they want to take slap shots. And it is horrifying how people, they think it's like taking a golf

drive. And so they're like choked up to the top and it's just now wild and erratic and scary. And it's, it's like, what do you probably experienced this? Like where you just like kind of take a street hockey puck or something and you know how to shoot a wrist shot and it just feels intuitive. It feels like, how do you not know how to do it and you see other people and they do that thing where they like start the blade on the ground eight inches behind the puck and they just go just like slap at it and it's like what are you doing like how do you know the way you do it for non-hockey players is you're using you're bending the stick against the ground and then it's uh as it straightens it flips through through on a slap shot you're

hitting kind of just behind the puck really hard and it bends a whole lot and powers through on a wrist shot it's the same thing but you're almost loading it in a concentrated way like in a purposeful way you sort of bend it against the ground and then flip it yeah but that's what i'm getting at with mechanics how they just don't translate like that that's the guy who throws punches i i i mean has he ever the concept of throwing that ball like like yes his shoulders aren't even he's wearing that goddamn suit i bet it would have been like at least 50 better without the suit it had to have been better there's no way the suit didn't hurt him but but yeah he looked like a jabroni that that's embarrassing i was looking up how big a star reagan is it is really hard to get a non-political answer there are some people he was a b-movie actor he was often like in double

features and stuff like that is one answer i got another guy said he's one of the most successful actors of all time president of the school that's true i mean yeah that's another guy said he was a movie actor that transitioned to television think of him as alec baldwin which is bigger than i expected and i just got every answer and still don't know the truth yeah i i don't know um i i used to be friends with a lot of like people who were really big on reagan and i was always watching those black and white speeches and like i don't know he knew his speeches were so good his speeches were so good like like when he's talking about like taxes and stuff like that and unleashing the american industry and stuff like that you're like yeah why don't they do that anymore it's like oh yeah that ran us into like

an enormous amount of debt oh Oh yeah, I forgot. I don't know. I don't know how big of a movie star. I don't think I've ever seen a Reagan movie. I've seen clips of them. They're a little cheesy. With him and a monkey or something. Like a chimpanzee. Oh, you're thinking about Every Which Way But Loose with Clint Eastwood. I don't think so.

He's a truck driver with a chimpanzee? Maybe it's an orangutan. Clyde, maybe, is the monkey's name. They both made movies with monkeys. Reagan made a movie with... It was called Bedtime for Bonzo. And it was a Reagan film with a chimp. Okay.

Well, Clint Eastwood also made one called Every Which Way But Loose, where he is a truck driver with a sidekick okay well clintus would also made one called every which way but loose where he is a truck driver with a sidekick i believe orangutan who rode in the truck with him and i think there's a scene where the orangutan punches a guy out it's very funny bedtime for bonzo this reagan and his wife in bed with the chimpanzee jumping around by their feet as the cover art for the movie looks silly fair okay but decent president i guess his wife don't feel qualified to judge like you said he ushered in this like uh the debt era of america which i've thought for a long time was going to hurt us and here we are like 40 years later just keeping it going so maybe i don't understand debt um but i mean certainly the economy turned

around underneath him and should get some credit for that and i think part of it was because of the tax changes he made but so is the debt i don't know i don't know the answer yeah those are the cool westerns everybody and then i'm told that his wife was running the country for like at least a year or two at the end because of the alzheimer's is the alzheimer's isn't that the second time that's happened who else did that happen with uh with um roosevelt um oh his dyke wife ran the country for a long time franklin d when he was uh eleanor eleanor roosevelt ran the country for a while yeah yeah okay he was president for too long ama question would you guys ever want to do scuba no you already got scuba certified recently um he's been getting into it a lot yeah yeah they i think they start off in swimming pools um to like do the certification the training and stuff

i've done that yeah i could see myself doing it um i don't have like a real interest in it i'll tell you what i would want to do though more than that is spearfishing and i think you use mostly snorkel for that and sort of free dive down um and use like a spear gun that's at least that's the kind that interests me um that i've seen that done and that that i have some interest in that uh but the vagabond couple legit use spear gun to find dinner like it's like okay you know like that's their method of fishing uh the question they wanted me to answer in particular according to the question anyway uh would i be interested in scuba and who's my ideal dive buddy my problem with scuba is i don't live near the good places to scuba right like i think

you want to be in some place with clear water maybe some corals and that means that what I have to get on a flight every time I do it it just it doesn't work like paramotoring from my yard works scuba from my airport doesn't but um whenever I get into a hobby I have this like conquest mentality around it so like when i got into paramotoring it wasn't just parasite singing from a thousand feet it turned into acro paramoting where i'm doing helis and rhythmic sats and other stupid bullshit uh when i get into motorcycles right i'm not just cruising the street looking at uh the trees or whatever you look at i'm starting to go faster and i'm doing off-road stuff i'm doing the dirt bike stuff and hurting

myself and you know like like it's it's always conquest based that's kind of how i'm wired so if i got into scuba i bet it would start like all these other things you know sort of sightseeing and then it would lead to cave diving and whatever else is interesting about scuba going deeper like that's i'm kind of wired to just turn something that's fun into something that's dangerous yeah oh and i saw a thing about free diving the other day which that seems terrifying which is a bit of an oxymoron because i when i thought of free diving the word free implicates to me that you swim down. But no, you use this mechanism that pulls you down to record-setting depths and then inflates a big balloon and pulls you back up. And so this couple was trying to set some kind of a world record.

It's like, I don't want to exaggerate, but it might have been 500 or 600 feet, which is absurd. She died because the cable that they she's like riding this elevator down that's pulling her down quickly and the cable below it got like kinked not like like started like doing this number like flowing around and so it got caught on that kink and so for 30 seconds at like 300 feet she just had to sit there while the kink got undone and that 30 seconds along with a few other complications meant that she died down there i would do that but not so far like i don't want to go 500 i don't go to 300 look it up for 100 let's see what that feels like i can hold my breath a minute that's all it takes let me ride this

thing down for a minute and come back up how bad was it actually not that bad let's try 110 i'd like to goof around with that a little bit like like but the idea of going down to like where they were going there's record-setting depths on a single breath i think it's i think they said she had to hold her breath for three minutes oh i'd be dead i don't think I've ever done that. I think we'd all be dead. Not now, but there was a time when I was way better than most people

at holding my breath when I was a swimmer. And three minutes. It's a very long time. And they do that thing called, I don't know if it's called loading or something like that, where you take the deepest breath you can and then you take gulps and like pack more air in and then go you know and uh and i'm sure there's plenty of like concentration and like maybe uh meditation

to sort of like slow your heart rate down calm yourself down so your oxygen use is as low as possible i do have my tiniest bit of interest in doing that, though. Again, I can hold my breath for a minute. I don't see how. I could probably get up a little closer to two minutes. I kind of want to sit here and hold my breath, but that's a terrible show. But I don't know.

Let's do that. Let's go hold our breath for as long as we can. I'm looking child in um so i was surprised by your description of free diving and what it is dude there are like i'm estimating 20 different categories of competitive apnea is what they call it am i getting that right and uh yeah competitive apnea where they just hold their breath and do crazy stuff and so there is one like where you describe where you just use literally no equipment and go down and back that's one uh you can do it with them without fins you know so anyway that's how they divide it yeah i would never go scuba diving it's being that far down risk averse i can't even like get my hand around with the

ocean in particular i don't it spooks me it's okay now i i like you would never go paramotor you would never go scuba diving you would never go motorcycling i'm a ground guy motorcycles ground if i was bullied into skydiving i might do it but i would rather you know i would be afraid probably no i know i'm going i'm going skydiving you're afraid i'm going to impact your behavior like you know you acknowledge the fear and tell it to fuck off it's so funny you're what are you like oh my god my my hobbies i fly around motorcycles you know woodwork lathes and i'm like i'm gonna try archery archery is cool as fuck like i'm getting into archery because i'm about to get into it as well i'm getting let's get it let's get it we're gonna be archery

now we've all got archery podcast like a companion piece that's nothing we all we all get one of those like you know those Robin Hood caps with a little feather in it. We each pick a different kind of bow. We have to vehemently defend as the best kind of bow. I'm an addle man myself.

Wow. What are you some techno guy? I throw stones. The addle addle is like uh mechanical device that allows you to like throw these tiny little spears it's got it like one stick like hooks into the back of another and you flick it it's like what cavemen or like not cavemen exactly a little further ahead than that but not quite bronze age either would use to like hunt larger game now i know what it is primitive technologyitive technology. The YouTube channels, I think I have one. He made one.

I'll get into archery because hopefully I'll be able to go this weekend if nothing else comes up and just give it a go, try it out, figure out the draw length and the draw weight. They'll sort that immediately. That's a five-minute thing. Can you just do that

at Dick's sports and ask the guy like like if they have an archery department yeah everywhere's saying to to go somewhere that's like specific archery because the guy at dick's doesn't know anything about the boat or they're not as knowledgeable you just pull up what would happen if i went there pulled a handful of bows and decided on my own is that stupid oh? Oh, well, like... I don't think so. Well, he's talking about more like dialing in like your draw length, which is akin to like figuring out how long your hockey stick needs to be

to like fit your body and stuff. Except more advanced than that. So like when you draw a bow back, like this hand has to come back to a very specific resting position. For me, I'm literally doing it. And the other hand is fully outstretched, but slightly relaxed. And so the length between here and there is like 32 inches

for me or something like that. 30, 31, 32. I don't remember what it is, but the bow has to be, the string has to be of that length so that when you draw it back, you don't want to be like this, like holding your bow like this so that you're not in the perfect body draw it back you don't want to be like this like holding your bow like this so that you're not in the perfect body mechanics and you don't want to be like this either because this is very awkward now my shoulder i can feel it my rotator cuff it's very uncomfortable um so you want to be in that sweet zone where you're you're in the correct form so now i'm understanding yeah basically people online are like you can go buy a bow like after doing a ton of research at dicks but they're gonna go here's your bow box what kind of string do you need okay what kind of this what

kind of risers do you need what kind of uh limbs do you need whereas if you go to the archery store you can just be like hey i'd love to get into archery i want to try shooting a recurve i love the smell of an archery store and they'll be like where do you hold the and they'll be like what hand do you hold the riser with like left, left hand. You're like, okay. Stand like this. Alright, grab this and pull it. They'll make your arrows. So that's the other thing. So all the arrows come at a very long length.

And once they've set your draw, determined your draw length, that's how long your arrows are going to be now. And so they take these, either carbon, carbon fiber is the industry standard now. Don't get aluminum arrows. Like, pay the extra $3 an arrow or whatever. Pee on. Were you thinking about aluminum arrows, Taylor?

Aluminum arrows, you can take a carbon fiber arrow and bend it this much, and it's all A-OK. Aluminum doesn't bend. Aluminum breaks. If you ever miss a shot, your carbon fiber arrow is probably OK

if it skids off through the woods a little. Your aluminum arrow is ruined. But they cut them. They cut them to length, and then they have this process of putting the insert in that the tips are going to screw into with this glue. And I can smell that glue sitting here. I have that memory of that glue. What do you spend on day one? You buy an arrow, you get the thing sorted out and you buy

it's been years i said maybe 20 arrows and a bow if you were gonna get all right so if i were going so he wants to get a recurve bow which are quite a bit cheaper i think but if i were going to get a compound bow i'd probably spend at least a grand on the bow um maybe a little bit more and then i'd get a new release because mine's out of date so those are probably like 30 to 60 dollars um arrows last time i bought arrows it's been a long time we're like 80 a dozen they're expensive does the archery store have a shooting range yeah almost all of them what i want i want to dip my toe i want to spend 250 and i want a coach to hang out with me for i don't know 30 or 60 minutes figure out with me for, I don't know, 30 or 60 minutes,

figure out those things that I would need to know. And I will figure out if I want to spend the next part. Yeah. You can rent the boat. Yeah. You don't spend almost a gun store. That's what I'm getting at. Yeah.

The first time I ever shot a gun, I got a coach. I got a coach. He showed, you know, he showed me how to load the magazine, showed me how to do all the things that you don't know how to do as a non-gun person. That's what my archery experience should be. I'm seeing. Yeah, you can absolutely do that.

He's leaning toward the recurve thing. I highly recommend the compound bow thing. You have a deadly weapon in a compound bow. You have something that has a lot of technology built into it. All sorts of space age materials, whether it's carbon fiber or fiberglass or aluminum or titanium, like it's, they're neat pieces of advanced machinery. I want to shoot both before I pick like, but I,

I aesthetically and just the look of it. It's a hobby. Yeah. And like hobby wise, like recreational activity curve bows. It's like, that just looks cool Yeah, yeah, they're cool ringsy. Yeah, Lord of the Ring you shoot when you shoot when you shoot a compound bow

The arrow goes so goddamn fast you you're like oh So this is just a rifle that shoots a little slower, and they're incredibly accurate like you You know you've probably heard people talk about like oh Yeah That rifles more accurate than I am bows are more accurate than you are bows are more accurate than you are i feel like i should get a crossbow and that way i can be as good as you guys because i'm using cheat codes you'd be surprised you can't go to archery ranges and shoot crossbows so with a crossbow you know you're you're holding it up just like you would a rifle and there's no stabilization there because you are holding it there's something about when you've got a compound bow drawn,

the push and pull that's going on offers a lot of stabilization. It doesn't wiggle. It doesn't tremble, really, as long as you're starting to hold it. And you sort of like, you've got a peephole back here you're looking through that's very much like older rifle sights with the hole in the back and the dot in the front. that's very much like older rifle sights with the hole in the back and the dot in the front. And you've got a very pinprick dot that glows

because of the way it's, it's one of those. An optanium. Sometimes people use tritium in those, yeah. But it's like the day sights even, like they draw light, like fiber optically. Oh, the optic ones, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so like you have this excellent sight that you're able to really put

where you want it and the trigger is as good as any rifle trigger you have this release mechanism that hooks on to the back of the string and it's like a rifle's trigger um so you can be shockingly accurate with a compound bow especially out to like medium distances you know 20 30 40 yards something like that when you go beyond that like a lot of people don't shoot much further than that i mean like in my yard i was like pacing out stuff today for a recurve i don't think i really want to be shooting any more than like 20 yards and compound would probably be too powerful for my yard 20 yards is where you kill most deer um 30 yards they say to practice is 20 yards yeah i i always practiced at

20 yards um and but my bow was sighted from 20 to 45 yards oh how does that work 20 to 45 like different points in the site so so the site um so it works both ways actually like um some sites have different pins for different yardages and uh and uh, and so you just know, I would always write with a very minute marker, like 20 yards, 30 yards, 40 yards next to the pen. You can take a little piece of masking tape and put it over the thing and write on that. But my site was adjustable. So it had this sort of thing that you slid up and down and it had an indicator that went on to where that piece of tape was and I'd slideid up and down and it had an indicator that went on to where that

piece of tape was and i'd slide it to that number and it would move the the the front side up and down just like a rifle or something so that would cause you to arc the bow to meet that meet that angle interesting you're just like guesstimating on the how far away the deer that's part of the challenge with uh 3d archery where you go to those those shoots where it's unknown distances and like you'll be there with other archers and like maybe you like hey what do you think i think that is i don't know 25 27 something like that or maybe somebody like i don't know i don't know what i don't know. I have no idea how far that is. I'm not worried. I brought a gun. Bang! You're ruined. Everybody's fun.

No, but they, I don't know. Archery's fun, and it's incredibly fun if you're hunting with it. Target shooting in the backyard was always a, I used to shoot every day, because you've got to practice a lot to maintain that little skill. It's difficult to do. But hunting was always the the main thing i never shot like targets in any sort of competitive fashion like my dad did i had someone who uh on

twitter reach out and they told me they've been a archer for 12 years shout out hosed thank you he said to use uh just to start a 50 pound recurve for, he thinks would be a good kind of kickoff point. Yeah, I agree. Like, you'll have no problem drawing that. Mm-hmm. I'm not, yeah, it's fun to think about, like, learning a new and totally useless, unless you're hunting skill, but I don't know.

Like, I imagine getting a lot of satisfaction being like, damn, like, I get how to do it now. Like, that was more accurate than it was a week ago. Just a fun little hobby to get into. Some videos or a coach will help a lot because you need to know how to place your feet and you need to know proper draw technique, where your elbow needs to be, where your hand needs to be.

Someone can look at you and be like, oh, you're too tense right here or straighten your back or relax or you're bent over. They'll look at your form and kind of help you out. That's often really helpful because you you don't know the mechanics just like conor mcgurk throwing that baseball you're not really sure what it should feel like to do it properly to tie into what kyle's saying like the expression i've used in a bunch of hobbies if you want to get good practice if you want to get good fast hire a coach yeah and that makes a huge difference practicing without a coach can just ingrain bad technique technique sometimes you know so we got to do ama questions from the patreons

this one's interesting to me if youtube hadn't worked out for woody and kyle what trajectory do they think their lives would have taken for taylor if your current line of work hadn't planned out where would it have taken you i'll go first. So Cisco is obviously where I was before YouTube. And as I look back on it, maybe through a harsh light, I felt like towards the end of my time at Cisco, I wasn't doing what I was really good at. So what I'm really good at was sort of like programming and leading teams that were programming. If you needed something done, like my project management was really good. I'd take the project, I'd break it down, come up with the timeline, get the right people on the right tasks, and make sure that we tracked

towards hitting our deadlines and get shit done on time, on budget, and bug-free. That I was really good at. As I advanced in my career, I moved from, Hey, Woody, this is what we need to, Hey, Woody, what do you think we need? And that wasn't as like, I wasn't a natural at that. Just looking at the landscape of Cisco IT and thinking, what should we be doing better? It was kind of broad. And a lot of the changes seem like unnecessary changes to me. People just resume building by grabbing some hip tech and wanting experience with it. So they could leave Cisco with this fucking one project. That's not like the others and a new thing on their resume anyway, but I was elevated into that position and I was working towards these like member of technical staff type jobs. And I think I would have been really stressed at being a round peg in a square hole. You know, I, I got, I would have been promoted to something that I wasn't naturally good at. I wonder how that would have gone if I would have gotten good at it or if I would have

always been like fucking trying to fool these people into thinking that i'm good at this yeah i don't know i had talked to my dad about doing something with small business of some kind and we kind of made a deal that if i went back and got uh like a fledgling business degree he would front me in like whatever venture i wanted to go into and like the little ideas i had was we're like, like one of those like quick oil change places. We didn't have one in our town. And I was like, I really need one of those quick oil change places. Like, like people have to go to shade tree mechanics here. And like, I know it's a small town, but like get one of them going and we see it's productive. Then

like, we've got to make another one now and stick it over there. And sure enough, like three or four years after that, like someone did it. Like one of my friends, actually, that I used to play poker with did it. And it's been a wildly successful business, and they've got three of them now. So I was looking at something like that, some sort of a small business. We'd also looked at restaurant franchises at the time. There wasn't a Chick-fil-A in our town. And it just seemed like those... I don't remember what the qualifications were.

That would do well. You just had to be a fake Christian, basically, and come up with like $200,000, and they basically give you a license to print money, it seemed like. Real estate was so cheap there by the interstate at the time. So I was looking at something like that. I knew I didn't want to work as far as on somebody's hourly thing. I wanted to own something or be my own boss in some way.

Chick-fil-A is a mixed bag, by the way, as a franchise. I was about to say franchise owner, but the thing is you don't own it, right? When you buy a Wendy's, you own that restaurant. You can sell it. When you buy a McDonald's, et cetera. With Chick-fil-A, you are paying, I don't know how much it is, like a quarter million dollars. You're buying a job and then you will run a Chick-fil-A that you can't sell, that isn't yours. It's profitable typically. Right. So you might be paying a quarter million dollars for a job that pays 200 grand a year, but just know that's your deal. You're not turning it into a $3 million Wendy's like you could there.

Yeah. Yeah. And you can, yeah. Like that, that makes a lot of sense. But yeah, I was looking at stuff like that. I like the idea of, I don't know the mechanics of business and sort of starting with this initial investment and like having a good business plan and the hiring of employees actually intrigued me having the power over someone's life. Dude, that chick fil A, one of the worst things about fast food,

like, as I met, cause I've thought about owning stuff like that before, too. Hiring people who want to work for fast food wages sounds awful. Hiring people who don't value their job. Like at Cisco, everyone really valued their job. Everyone desperately wanted to impress their boss and their boss's boss. And they typically had mortgages and families and they needed that job.

And sure, people came and left. But mostly these are professionals trying to advance in their careers at Chick-fil-A or Wendy's or whatever. Half of that staff will say, fuck you and walk out literally on the spot. No notice. They've done it. You see it all the time. Yeah.

And having staff like that that doesn't care about their job so when you're almost like asking them to work you know like you know like instead of saying hey i need more out of you you're not working hard enough they're just it's like you're all glad you came at all that's where having like a big family would be so clutch like if you're if you're one of those mons that's got eight, nine, ten kids, and you can have them running through that bitch. Like, yeah, Johnny Sr., he's the GM now. And Tina, she runs the night shift.

And little Bobby here, he's a fry cook, aren't you, boy? Did you burn those fries again? I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry, Daddy. You pay now. Yes, Daddy. Basically, you've got your family in there working for you. aren't you boy did you burn those fries again i'm sorry daddy now yes daddy like you had like you had basically you've had your family in there working for you but you're absolutely right like i was a fast food employee for 10 days one time we hated it we hated it and you sounds awful but you got lots of free days i'm guessing you didn't give two weeks notice right i just

disappear just to let you know i'll'll be quitting for days from now. I love that meme where the black guy just goes, deuces, and he just vaporizes. He turns invisible. That's how everybody is at Burger King, fast food type restaurants. Just vaporize. They're gone.

You're talking about having a bunch of kids? We didn't do your career. I was already thinking about like amish people but um yeah i don't know i some kind of sales i guess i would have to do like i don't have any technical skills but i'm pretty good at speaking and public speaking and stuff like that so and i've i've taken a shying to sales and I've had to do it. Middling Kyle. So, so. Yeah.

And if it's not a job that revolves around my ability to speak, I'm not qualified to do it. So, yeah, I would some kind of sales. And that'd probably be where most of the money was. Okay. That I agree with. Like if I was a career counseling tailor, if you want money, sales. Because you definitely could be great at it. And you have a natural affinity for it. Like you would just crush in sales. The downside of sales is the life you live, right? There's, there's travel, there's different people. It, it,

it's hard to be a successful salesman who eats dinner with the family every night. That's not typically part of the gig. Um, the other thing Taylor's really smart. And I feel like you could put Taylor, there's a million industries out there when no one knows it before they start. If Taylor worked at UPS, they would quickly recognize he's smarter than 99% of the other employees. And he'd be in management and he'd learn the shipping industry. And that's that. Take UPS. I could use that on the inside. Swap it with so many gigs you know there's so many industries out there where no one knows them until you work there where you could rise up if you wanted to i appreciate it yeah it'd probably be sales really if you want money

if if money was the drive and like there's always at least everybody, all my friends in sales, like it's almost like they're, they're bank robbers where like they're looking at least the ones that sell big, expensive things or real estate. Like some of them frame it like, Oh, if I sell like three more of these units or whatever,

I just, I don't need to work for eight months. I'm just going to go do whatever I want for a while. Cause I have more than enough money. And I'm, I don't think that I would do well with that kind of structure because I would start to feel guilty about not working. I can't imagine taking that. Are you guys like that? When you're supposed to be doing a job and you get too much time off, you get antsy, restless. You just feel

like you're wasting time, or at least I do. Yeah, I don't know. So Cisco was project driven and I almost felt like I deserved some amount of weeks of not being worked very hard before the next one kicked off. Well, that's totally fair and reasonable. I mean, like these people who are like a couple, you know, they'll sell cars or sell real estate

for four months out of the year, make enough to live comfortably and the other eight months, it's like, oh, what are you up to adam oh i'm just uh just chilling you can always go back to car sales kyle could or do you there's the idea thing more likely that's where you make so much more money oh that would be the goal do finance there's a lot of positions in different companies like where the salespeople make more than like the middle management above them. That's not the case for for cars. You got to sell so many fucking cars for that to be the case. Like if you're selling 30 fucking cars a month. Yeah. But if you're like a finance manager, you just sit over there and chill and already done deals come to you and you just try to sell them a little extra or you try to make a point or two on their interest rate you know and you're getting paid off of that um but

you're getting you're not having to like deal with customers at least as a salesman like you're dealing with eight customers for every two you sell probably something like that like you're so much of your time is being wasted a hundred percent of a sales manager or of a finance managers work. I mean, not a hundred, like maybe somebody like something happens with their financing or something and it falls through, but 90, 95% of their customers are deals that they're going to make something on. My finance manager had an $80,000 necklace. It was, it was like a, that material, it's like uh that material looks like a bike chain you know how that like bike chains are that sort of interlocking links except it was platinum and diamonds and like every link was another diamond and like it like like those guys like

watches cost more than cars like like all they were always and like they were like it was like something off the sopranos how like every time see them, they're in a nicer suit. It's wealthy, though. Because I'm hearing a lot of bad financial decisions. You could be wealthy and make those, or you could be not wealthy and make those. Well, I mean, they were making tens and tens of thousands of dollars a month. They were spending it, and they were working a lot of hours.

But, yeah, they were just making a lot of money. I mean, the answer is both, I think. That they were making a lot of money just making a lot of money i mean it's the answer is both i think that they were making a lot of money and spending a lot of money because they were like the one in particular i'm talking about was a good looking black guy in his 30s and it's just like this dude's going out tonight with that 80 000 chain on and pulling some pussy in his like 130 000 car like they were always driving like brand no savings maybe. Maybe not. Maybe so. I don't know. He wasn't financed. Maybe he knows better. Maybe he's like, you know how much this necklace

has appreciated in the last six months alone? Like for all I know. Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing. Because it's jewelry and I bought it at four times what I can sell it. Probably so. I mined these diamonds myself. I bought it at the Duty Free shop in Trinidad. They assured me that it was real.

And then just like the sales managers, the guys who were like getting a flat percentage of all used car sales or a flat percentage of all new car sales. Like they were just making ungodly amounts of money, like less 100k a month but more than 50k a month shit like that and plus like because they were in that management position they never had to buy a car again they just always got to drive brand new cars like pick one off a lot kind of situation that is a cool thing about like their job is just never dealing with the dmv just dealer plates drive wherever you want do whatever you want that and in company insurance they're not paying their job is just never dealing with the DMV, just dealer plates, drive wherever you want, do whatever you want that.

And a company, and company insurance. They're not paying insurance either. How much are the guys who like own, I guess your dealership is what you know the most about the guy who owned that. He was like multi. Well, the guy who owns that's probably a billionaire. Cause that's auto nation.

Oh, then, then he's a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah. That's the largest, uh, retailer in the world. As far as I know. Yeah, that's AutoNation. It's the largest retailer in the world as far as I know.

That would be funny if you decided to go back to car sales as a side gig and you promoted it on the show like you did for the motorcycle thing. You're like, I'll be down selling cars at the AutoNation. We got a Hyundai Sonata here. There's like a line. They're like, no, I'm only buying from Kyle. Everybody hates you. There was the general manager he made incredible money um but then there was the guy who was the

regional manager and he he was the corporate regional manager of like i don't know if it was the southeast or just atlanta but there were like 13 dealerships in atlanta alone that had the team name associated with them team was just like either the atlanta or the southeast version of auto nation same branding and everything but team was our like local name and um the dude was obsessed with the sopranos like this is when sopranos was in its heyday and he dressed like a sopranos character he had hair slicked straight back he has that sort of had the mannerisms like the big suits and stuff the watches his ringtone was the sopranos theme music like

he was i wish i could remember that guy's name now i could probably look him up on the internet um another one of our like the head finance manager um i won't say his name but like he was like five foot seven five foot eight but he had such a huge personality like like he was he was clearly like like you'd you'd be like yeah i met that guy he's kind of short huh is he i don't know i remember him being a big guy and you like look of it oh huh from afar he is tiny huh but when you're when you're talking to him you're blown away by like his charisma and his personality and i know what he did with his money guys he owned a chain of gncs like got into waste management i'm getting the waste management in the carting industry

environmental cleanup what was that word cotting industry the cotting industry carting it means the garbage it's a fancy word for a garbage i never heard that okay yeah i've been watching a lot of sopranos i need to change the topic yeah go for it dude the cyber truck is scheduled to come out this year towards the end and it's it's you know late september as i say this i tried just i was just googling for an updated release date and i don't see one i they do say the rear wheel drive only one is next year but the one. They do say the rear-wheel drive only one is next year, but the all-wheel drive one, the four-wheel drive one,

is this year. Is it going to happen? Is Starlink going to happen? Because it's supposed to be this year too. Elon Musk is the most full-shit billionaire. Here's what he actually did. He released the Tesla 3 and he made rockets that can land. So basically he's

Ben Franklin without the whores and syphilis. That makes him less cool. I don't know. I'm interested in the Cybertruck. If he actually delivers on that, I'm like, oh, it's a whole other thing that he did. I want him to... It seems like it's been too long since he's done anything. His latest thing of putting civilians in space, and he's upset that the president didn't congratulate him. Is that even a thing? Putting civilians in space? is that impressive in a way that i don't understand like going to space is obviously a cool thing but now it just feels like he's

doing the same thing again uh with new people in it like it i don't know i don't know i'm impressed but i i still like elon musk. I hope, I don't know what this delay is with the Cybertruck. Let's see. It says 2022 now. I think. Oh, they just updated the reservations page to say 2022 instead. Oh, it's unlikely to ramp to significant volume until late 23. Jesus.

He blamed that on the degree of technology that Tesla has baked into the electric pickup. He blamed that on the degree of technology that Tesla has baked into the electric pickup. Previously, Musk has warned that elements like the distinctive still body will demand new manufacturing process with a steep learning curve. It's a war. It's a worrying setback for what once looked like it could be among the very first of the electric pickups to reach the market. Instead, it seems that the Cybertruck will follow rivals, some from big names like Ford. Yeah, et cetera, names like Ford, etc. He was the first to promise, the first to collect money on pre-orders, and the last to deliver. Elon Musk fanboys, please acknowledge what he does here. He over-promises and under-delivers so much.

I don't know. I feel like Elon Musk is advancing humanity. There's definitely some cool things he's doing, but good gosh, he does one fourth of what he says he does. He should be a host. I hope it comes out. I hope it comes out. I really hope the Starlink thing happens for like,

cause like, like I said, it'd be nice. Like if I could like hook my dad up with the 21st century there's no fucking internet there that's reliable you know it's it's super annoying um he comes over here and he's like you have an endless possibility of things to watch how do you ever pick one and i'm like well when it's just gun smoke i guess it's easy but i have like i literally have like almost every streaming service that exists so it's's just like, I'll, I'll just like hold forward on Netflix.

And then, you know, it's, it's like, and he's just like, how do you pick one? That's not my grandpa's too. It's like the amount of selection.

He's like, I just, I just want to go back to watching bull riding on regular TV. Then you can put, you can put them on YouTube though. And like start, start him down that algorithm path of like just search greatest bull rides of all time eight seconds of madness and like just walk away

because that's a good idea that's a good idea except i guarantee like he'd come back he'd be like how do i get it to the hunting channel on the YouTube hunting channel. Or whatever it was. I mean, go right over there. Monster White Tails 2020. Oh, wow. Look at that one. It's like that band of brothers where they give that little kid

and he's like, he has never had the taste of chocolate. They're so surprised by it. Yeah, that's what boomers are like when you show them YouTube algorithm. And that's, I guarantee, like I'd go over there and look at his thing it'd be bullfighting and like farming tech and that's all all he'd be interested is he literally a boomer i wonder do you know roughly how old he is uh late 70s so yeah very very early boomer yeah okay very early not like uh one of of those born in 64.

Technically a boomer, but they're more like Gen X-y. My dad's an actual boomer. He's born a few days after World War II ended. Straight up where the boom comes from. Yeah, that's about the same age as my grandpa. Does everyone know? I guess what happened is the troops came home from World War II and they all

started family and there was this big population explosion and that's the baby boom. I think it was like 45 to 64. I think. And now you're cunts next. When did millennials start? Early 80s?

Right? I would guess. It could be. I don't know. I'm not good at knowing that. I always assume it's like 20-year gaps. Because, Kyle, you'd be like an early millennial. Something like that. Yeah, I think so. Born in 86.

Good year. I believe that was the year when the Challenger exploded. Ah, Harbinger of Death. I mean, you know, start the year with a bang. Well, I'm sure good things happen. Many Saints of Newark came out in theaters today. The Sopranos prequel

film starring James Gandolfini's son. That came out? Yes, it came out today. It will be on HBO Max in eight days, October the 1st. You'll be able to watch it on HBO Max and stream it. Which is what I'm going to do. That's not bad.

Actually, I guess I'll just wait for Colorado. It's one more day. Oh, there's one more thing. I think Dune came out, but overseas. 36 mil opening weekend, I think. Did it really open anywhere in English? I wonder. I don't know. Because if it is out anywhere in english i wonder i don't know because if it is out anywhere in english

there's probably good copies to see on the internet somewhere maybe so i could watch it you could well that would be illegal yeah i would never do it or you can support cinema well if no one else it's gonna take the sunny episode if no one else is gonna do it you know yeah i think uh if dune is out when i'm on vacation maybe that'll be a little theater trip i haven't been to a theater in a little bit and it'd be fun to stumble into a theater and watch it because i think that's a movie that definitely is going to be much better in a theater um that those big wide landscapes and impressive cgi and really interesting cast of characters and i love the dune stuff anyway i even like the original movie that was just a real stinker that nobody else likes did you read the book

the book is dense and there it's books it's 30 000 years of history dude it's it's like warhammer 40k but it but but not quite as long it's it's dense well i mean if you like the world it'd probably be pretty cool to read like it's i guarantee it's a lot more in-depth yeah yeah i'm hoping for a good movie i'm hoping for a good movie. Can you rent out theaters? Yeah, 100 bucks. But can you say, like, I want you to play this movie? They have a list of movies to choose from. New releases are a little more expensive. But if you want to watch Jurassic Park or Jaws or, like, you know, a classic like that, it's like 100 bucks.

And you could bring as many people as you want, I think. So, like um you know you can go on a date and uh it's one thing i've been considering doing it's just like taking a date to like regal plopping down a hundred dollars watching jurassic park or jaws or you know there just haven't been any good new releases and i i i watched jurassic park originally in in theaters when it came out and 93 i think somewhere in there 93 94 95 thought it was 93 but um it was a fucking experience i talked about this on stream the other day how like people don't realize what a big deal jurassic park when it was when it came

out it was massive like they had pyramids of jurassic park vhs's at my grocery store they didn't sell movies at the grocery store, but they were like, Jurassic Park's coming out. Get 300 copies of Jurassic Park. Fucking, you put them on a table over there. People will buy them at the checkout counter. Are you sure?

Yeah. And they did. I just remember like, Mom, Jurassic Park's out. And even my mom was just like, Really? Well, go get one. You know, like everybody wanted that shit.

It was such a big deal. Like we'd never seen dinosaurs like that before. They looked real, especially back then. It was amazing. There was a big argument over whether dinosaurs really ate people at the time. Like that was part of the national conversation. Oh, my God. Given the opportunity.

Yes. Yeah, they would. You got it right i would i would argue but uh yeah they didn't yeah those like fundamental are they is it the fundamentalist christians or something like that it's it's the it's the young earth people um they do in fact believe that we coexisted alongside the dinosaurs they they bring up these tentative mentions of dinosaurs in the bible um which are really reaching when they mention a leviathan in the in the deep which is clearly the plesiosaur yeah um it's a bunch of nonsense um and then like i've heard them explain fossilization

and flash fossilization and all this nonsense. Because, of course, the reason we have fossil fuels, like in Fast Forward, is because for eons, after trees and ferns had evolved, there were no cellulose-devouring bacteria that existed. There was nothing to break down the dead trees. They would just fall and lay there because there was nothing. They, they,

they, they, they couldn't be broken down by the, like the fungi and bacteria and stuff that eats cellulose now. And is the reason why we're not, see, I always thought as a kid that like, I bet there's new oil.

That's always being churned out a little at a time. No, all the oil there's going to be is made because now when, when trees fall, it gets devoured by all those processes. That's interesting. Those giant coal formations and stuff,

that's where eons of forest piled on top of each other. Mud slides would slide over that and then heat and pressure would form coal over millennia. Why doesn't that still happen? Because, like I said, now there are cellulose-devouring bacteria and other microorganisms that make, you know,

when a tree falls in the forest, it goes away rather quickly. What if there's a mudslide? I mean, I don't have a great answer for you, but I just know it doesn't happen. I think that even in the case of a mudslide, maybe like it's just rotting under the ground. That, I mean the,

obviously the dinosaurs living with humans isn't real, but it is objectively a much cooler version of reality. Oh, it's so, it's such like if there was like if King Solomon or whatever was writing a Brontosaurus through. Oh, for sure sure mesopotamia that would have been pretty cool no and i really enjoy uh fiction that focuses on

civilizations that were that that were advanced like before the egyptians and stuff like that like there's this movie called it's a terrible movie but it's called 10 000 bc yeah and uh have you seen it yeah it's awful oh not just B.C. Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah, it's awful. Oh, not the Jack Black movie. Because that's the one with Jack Black and Michael Cera. No, this one takes itself seriously. But it's almost equally as bad. And it focuses on some sort of a pre-Egyptian civilization that's quite at its height.

There's hunters and gatherers but then there's like this fucking civilization over here that are that have like monolithic structures and stuff like that and i don't remember the details but like there were saber-toothed tigers and mammoths and oh you're right that was called 10 000 bc i was thinking of year one yeah i never actually saw that but i was also a bad movie bad movie yeah i saw 10 000 bc in theaters and even as a kid i was like not very good movie very good i'm not entertained as a 12 year old or whatever i was but uh but yeah that fascinates me that's why that whole younger driest thing um with um um i can't think of the writer off the top of my head you know he talks

about the um the the comet strike that melted melted the ice and caused the great flood that supposedly wiped out that civilization that go blackie tepee in Turkey. Grant Hopkins or something like that. I can't remember his name. That's not it. But that stuff is fascinating to me. I don't know. I feel like that makes like a really interesting fiction and anything where they go to the center of the earth and there's stuff down there i like that

shit too that is cool i like that then you'll be more center of the earth movies yeah i like the idea of alien interdiction into like our ancestry to like like rise us above like the the primitives and make us what we were like the idea that like they like the ancient aliens basically nonsense that that became a meme because of that goofball on the history channel where like maybe aliens came down and they taught the egyptians the ways of arithmetic and geometry why don't we go to the center of the earth better than we do now why haven't we dug more than a mile or two down um so i think the deepest orhole ever is in Russia and they dug it because the Americans just

had gone like five miles and so they went like seven or eight or something like that. And it's it gets very hot down there and the length of the drill bit is the whole thing. So make the hole wider so the drill

doesn't have to be at the top right like if you could lower the if it's seven kilometers and you could get them at the drilling apparatus five kilometers down like you know oh you're talking about making up a bigger hole i'm talking about doing something cool i don't want to fucking get a pencil seven kilometers deep i want to go yeah I think it was like, you know, roughly the size of like a pie plate or something. The borehole.

Right. You'd think it would have to be wide enough to be strong, but not so wide that the job gets harder. I don't remember exactly how long it took for them to go as far as they went, but they didn't do it in a month. Like, like it was a long process of like drilling this thing out the way I remember it.

And the temperatures down there were pretty absurd. Like it's, you know, it's getting hot. I want to say the earth's crust is like 10 kilometers thick or something like that. It's probably more, but then you get into the mantle where you're dealing with like molten rock.

Right. And that's a way bigger layer. Yeah. And that's probably a place where the crust is at its thinnest. Just making that up. Probably. Maybe. Or Marianas trench.nest. Just making that up. Bottom of the ocean, probably. Maybe. Or Marianas Trench.

Death Valley. I don't know. Maybe that'd be an easier place to do it. But I don't know what makes it hard. Does water make it hard? It's got to. Does Death Valley mean it? I think there's nothing to achieve.

I think that's the main thing. Because even when the Russians did it, it was literally like a dick measuring contest. Yeah. Maybe there's a source of energy there's some heat down there that doesn't run out i mean there is right and then like in 2150 we're like we have to stop global cooling if the center of the earth cooled we would all die the it's it's the spinning of the earth's iron core i believe that creates our like magnetosphere or whatever that keeps us from being bombarded by like radiation and solar rays and stuff like that i'm pretty sure we all just that's one of the things when they were talking about like um like various planets in the in in

in the in the galaxy and how like like no that that one can't support life. Well, why? Well, it doesn't have a metal core. It doesn't have a magnetosphere. It has nothing to shield it from the evil that space is full of that would just nuke bacteria. The scale of things can be hard to get your head around. I was thinking if we harnessed the heat of the Earth to use as our energy source, would it somehow run out would it somehow be a bad thing would it something would be decompressed the middle i don't know or or maybe the scale is so huge humanity could never ever touch it and have any impact on it

i watched a video recently there was a trend where it was like hey what would win this versus this you know the horse versus the ducks you've seen it it was the sun versus a trillion lions and taylor taylor sometimes uh is like people don't get how big a trillion is so with that in mind i was like what would happen if we took a trillion lions in a ball and put it at the sun? If I took a handful of mud and threw it at a small fire, I'd put the fire out. Is a trillion lions a lot of lions? It seems like a lot of lions, but the sun is a formidable competitor. So how does it compare against a

trillion lions uh that's a trillion taylor where's your answer on this a trillion lions thrown at the sun what happens ah definitely the lions the the sun can't bite my guess is nothing happened my guess would be nothing at all well a trillion dead suffocated lions show up and and burn to death maybe just launch them at the sun if there's what depends are we doing one at a time no in a ball of a trillion yeah a ball of a trillion lions i'm taking the lions yeah you're wrong you're wrong a ball of a trillion lions is so insignificant to the sun that it doesn't even like splash or make a solar flare so then the guy took it to the next level and they said hey that's a english trillion

apparently a bunch of languages use like it changes and in france like i guess a million isn't a thousand more than a hundred thousand everybody it's a billion is not a thousand more than a hundred thousand everybody it was a billion is not a thousand more than a million a billion is a million millions and then in their language a trillion is a trillion trillions so they took that ball french ball of lions which is a trillion trillions and threw it at the sun fucking nothing nothing the tron the sun barely notices a trillion trillion lions it is i think slightly smaller than the moon and as it approaches the sun it starts to like break up and it eventually just becomes a little more but insignificant amount of sun fuel so then they calculated how many lions it would take. And then that ruins it because it starts getting into scientific notation.

Yeah. I barely under into the power of 77. And you're like that. I couldn't fathom, fathom a trillion. And now we've gone into algebra or something. Yes, exactly.

It was like 10 to the 30 something number of lions. You can imagine a one followed by 30 zeros, whatever number that is. I like those YouTube channels. It starts to have an impact. I watched the one. That video got recommended to me. That was a little silly for me. Oh, so you've seen it recently.

Okay. I didn't watch it because I was just like, look. You had a better grip on what it – So I have a lot of respect. I had a lot of respect for the sun, I think. I'm big on the sun here. I didn't know. I'm a lot of respect for the sun, I think. I'm big on the sun here. I'm a big sun guy.

How many grains of sand are on Ocean City's 10-mile-long beach? I wouldn't know what that number looks like. I have no concept. If you told me there were a billion grades of sand, I'd be like, okay. If you told me there were a trillion, a trillion is a lot of...

I don't know. That'd be a huge amount. I need to know how many too well a trillion is a lot of i don't know that'd be a huge amount i i need to know how many grains of sand are in a handful of sand i don't know how many i don't know how much the sand is is this a hundred grains is it ten thousand is it a hundred thousand i don't know i need to sit there and count out ten grains of sand and be like well that's fucking ten i can rub that between my fingers. Fuck. I saw one where they were like, what would happen if a needle hit the Earth at the speed of light? And I was just like,

this couldn't be good. I think something happens. I think it's like a bomb going off, like a nuclear weapon. It's not kinetic energy, but it's just a needle. Yeah, it turned out that it's like 10 Hiroshima bombs if a needle hits i yeah it turned out that it's like 10 hiroshima bombs if a needle hits the earth would be fine but it would be a noteworthy explosion yeah you destroy a fucking city yeah with a needle going the speed of light i think it was the final judgment

and then they got into and they're like in our last video we told you what would happen if a needle hit the earth at speed of light well some of you corrected this and made made sure we knew that nothing can achieve the speed of light. So for you sticklers out there, we're going to find out what happens if a needle hits the earth at 9.99999999999999% the speed of light. And I'm like, did you just double up on ad revenue? They just made the same video again. Basically, if he did, that's smart why they really are smart asses we'll see who's smart i'm gonna be collecting the check at the end of the month watch this yeah i like those videos i watch a bunch of that shit like all sorts of like silly math like what would happen

if you and some of them are real head scratchers for me because of the numbers involved it's like what would happen if you detonated a nuclear weapon at the bottom of the marianas trench it's not nothing but i didn't know like maybe i didn't know what would happen if you detonated a nuclear weapon at the bottom of the Marianas Trench? Turns out nothing. But I didn't know. I didn't know what would happen. I don't believe that something would happen. So, as a child, there was actually like a national,

international anxiety about the Cold War. It just kind of existed and hung over everything that you did or hanged over everything you did. I don't know. And we had this idea that nuclear bombs were worse than they really are. Nuclear bombs take out square miles, if I understand it right. And then the fallout ruins territory beyond that.

And one nuclear bomb could maybe take out New York city. But as a child, we were like, if they launch all of them, does the earth split? What will it crack like an egg? And will there be two floating hemispheres rotating around the sun? No,

no, they're not that powerful. They're just really good bomb. If they launched them all, then we would all die though, because we, we would go into a nuclear winter. That'd be an atmosphere thing, not like

That'd be an atmosphere thing. Well, not only would you have vast seas of radioactive wasteland that nothing could exist in, and the water would be poisoned in vast areas, and the entire chain of production that, I mean, forget nuclear weapons. If you just turned off the oil

for a few years like a massive percentage of humans would just die because there's no like food being moved around but now you're talking about like a significant percentage of us are just dead because like every major city is already pre-targeted by these things and there's like 10 000 of them i think at this point where there used to be way more in the cold war i think there's i think the u.s has like 4,500 and the the russians have like 5,000 and the chinese have like some piddling amount 50 this is an area where i don't trust don't trust the accuracy of our reporting at all you under you're like they blow those nukes out of a portion high or low i don't know like i just don't believe they have any incentive to tell the truth. They could have way more than they say or way less than they say.

Yeah, I suppose so. I think we're more likely to be honest than the Russians are. And I think the Russians would have a hard time keeping that shit funded. I think they turned a lot of them into power plants. They pulled the warheads apart. But yeah, I think if all of them got launched, especially during the Cold War, that's kind of it for us. I mean, we don't go extinct, but our version of what reality is, is greatly... We turn into Fallout. It's like Fallout the video game. I think that's what happens. I think the last three presidents have talked about making more

nukes. And it makes me think, did we? Did we just not put any advertising and marketing around the creation of new nukes? We signed quite a bit of treaties. You would hope that everybody is abiding by them. Right, because we wouldn't want to go to nuke jail. Well, you know, like if the Russians were to find out, and it doesn't seem like we're great at keeping secrets, that we had like an extra thousand we lied about, then that gives them carte blanche to like make another thousand and then you don't want an arms race we need to get rid of those things we need a small amount of court found ronald reagan guilty

of violating something and i remember the political cartoons where they're like please don't show the presidential buttocks in court just moaning the judge like fuck you you have no teeth no power here yeah no i but but like i do think we need to keep a lot of them around because like the aliens ever come we're gonna need those we're gonna need those not not i don't think we could do anything to the aliens with them but we could we could be like look we'll ruin this place. You think you're taking this? Don't you know what humans are all about? The aliens would be like, Jesus, we're literally heartless insectoids, but they're willing

to ruin their whole planet just so that we can't have it? Those aliens have a lot of self-awareness. Well, of course they do. They flew here from another fucking planet. For heartless insectoids. They would be blown away by how vindictive we would be because that's what we would do you know if it came down to like

either we are going to be like except insectoid overlords or we can just ruin this fucking place so that they'll have to leave and maybe like we'll crawl from the ashes eventually we would choose option B I'm down with that I was thinking about what I would I don't mean to talk about Walking Dead every show but I think about what I would do in a if'm down with that i was thinking about what i would i don't mean to talk

about walking dead every show but i think about what i would do in a if the world was that bad and it's like dude the people that killed themselves weren't dumb like that's a viable idea in the walking dead that there's not a lot of joy even amongst the most successful survivors. So what are you keeping going? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I like the idea that over in Europe, it's all hunky-dory. They solve that zombie thing right away.

Because their socialized healthcare just kicked right in. Everybody's doing those big handshakes and big wide grins when it comes to sharing food and stuff. Canada's fine too. They fine too they have it that would be a hilarious ending if like they like try if they sailed across the atlantic and got to france and and they're all like wearing suits and ties and like sipping fucking cappuccino and like just blown away that we've been living like like like cavemen i'm sorry with the walking dead so in walking dead one of the interesting things is

there's no plot armor everybody dies and sure from the original season i think there's two people left from season two every single one of them is dead season three i don't think there's any people that so anyway um maybe there is maggie but back on topic what's going to happen is they're going to end walking dead this year and then there's going to be a spinoff where Carol and Daryl do their thing. And I'm like, how is that different than just Walking Dead? Yeah. Like you kill everyone. You always kill everyone.

That's just what Walking Dead is. No, I feel you. You're absolutely right. I think it's really smart because God, I hope they find Rick along the way and we can watch the show again, honestly. Maybe they bump into Rick down the road and he's like, turned out Carl wasn't dead after all. So none of it means anything until production starts.

But apparently they're doing a movie with Rick. I watched that shit. I love Rick. Dude, I wanted to be a co-writer on that show so bad. I would have loved to have had my way. I'm always like with the Jedi thing, I want Luke Skywalker to be the baddest motherfucker of all time. And with walking dead,

I wanted to, I wanted a Rick tater ship. I wanted hardcore Rick. I just want Rick to like run into a new bad guy every season and them to underestimate him again. And then him to get all teary eyed and then just go crazy and kill them all. Like, like that's what I liked about that show.

I love like, Oh, you shouldn't have, but you don't know what you've done. It's like that Carlos Mencia bit about 9-11. You don't know. You don't know. You don't have the history channel. They go to Terminus.

This is a small name. They go to Terminus. You might not remember. There are these signs. There's salvation in Terminus. Come to Terminus. We accept new people, et cetera. He goes there. They ambush him and his crowd they shoot at them and guide them into this railway car then they lock them

all in unarmed in a railway car and they're all beat up maybe a little bit injured trapped in a railway car and uh i think this is the final episode in a season. And Rick is like, they're going to feel so stupid. And they're like, what? When they figure out they locked up the wrong guys. And the season, I think he says, fuck.

I think what he says, it's been years ago. And he's just like, they don't know. And like one of them is like, they don't know what they don't know who they're fucking with. And sure enough, like the next season,

he's taken somebody's necklace and whittled out a splinter out of a piece of wood. And when they open the door, it's throats and eyeballs. Yeah. You probably remember better than me, but that's right. Throats and eyeballs.

As soon as they slide that door open and it's like, all right, we've got machine guns now let's go again. Great. I love Rick as a character. I love that. It's in georgia like like that that show was tailor-made to like make a lifelong fan out of me and they just ruined it yeah also rick can't do a southern accent so that's a bit annoying yeah it's pretty bad he don't sound like we sound down here he don't sound nothing like we sound like that he doesn't

sound like any portion of the south either no sir he don't sound like georg like he doesn't sound like any portion of the south either no sir he don't sound like georgia he don't sound like south carolina he don't sound like alabama he don't sound like us at all and it's very visibly evident every time he tries that accent it made no sense he should have been like yes i'm from connecticut i just moved down here to be the sheriff of georgia or like whatever the fuck like he should just come up with, they should have written that into his story and not have him try to do a Southern accent. Do Boston R's the whole thing for 10 years. He zombies is going to be a problem.

Like give him a Jersey thing. Yeah. Like he's just terrible at the accent, but I liked the guy's character. He's got a good look. I know we need to wrap, but I always thought his look was wrong i i really to me he's too skinny to be a badass right he beats up every other person i i i don't even do i have bigger

muscles than rick yeah yeah absolutely yeah yeah we're all bigger than rick he's a little guy i've met him he's a little guy okay that's cool met cool. Met is a strong word. I ate coffee. I had coffee like six feet from him. And I was just, I don't bother. Sizing him up. Yeah. I sized him up. Monocular pat down and ascertained you could beat his ass. I did.

Yeah. I always thought he was just, I don't know. I guess I want, if I'm going to see the biggest badass around, he has to at least be Daryl sized and ideally Shane sized. Daryl's a little guy too. Yeah. They're all little guys. Shane was,

Shane was the, um, the big one, right? He's the one that was fucking Rick's wife. Like, like he's a big man. Like,

like, like, you know, he, he did a great job playing the Punisher. Um, he's believable as an action hero. Yes.

Yeah. So that's, I guess that's what I wanted from the, you don't have to have muscles to lead, but it wasn't like, you know, he was captain America, leadership in everyone.

He literally, you know, he was the second toughest guy on the show. Yeah. Yeah. He was more of your tech. He was a pretty good tactician. It,

it, it was like his, like, you know, when he would plot and he would stay down as long as he'd keep his head down. And even his own people would be like, is Rick a bitch now? But Rick was always like

thinking about something. And he'd eat as much shit as he had to eat to like take care of his people. And then by the end, people are getting, it's throats and eyeballs. Yeah. Time to wrap? Yeah, I think so. I enjoyed it very much, gentlemen. Very good. PKA 562.