Painkiller Already - PKA 563 W/ F1nn5ter - Squid Game, Dropping out of school, Terrible British Food

Episode Date: October 2, 2021

Thank you already. 563 with our guest Finster Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by goat.com and smart mouth. A couple of wonderful sponsors. We'll talk more about them later. Finster. Thank you so much for joining us and taking the time to get all dolled up. We're all hoping you would.

Half a day. It took me so long. Even what he tweeted at me that the show starts in, starts in seven hours or something. I think he's getting ready an hour ago. Is that how long that took? Half a day? I would imagine you're quick by now, right? Yes. I've made some improvements in my overall...

Since I've been doing it for so long, I've got speedier at it. But it's still far too long. An annoyingly long time. Is any part oh go ahead well i just imagine some of our audience doesn't know you already although we've talked about you before who are you oh god how confusing with how confused would they

be what i really hope is that we have a few deaf fans who watch with captions and they're just over there just like fuck fuck, how do I get it to one? Can I just get it to her screen? Can I make that happen? How do I get Woody out of this picture?

I want those three uggos out of here. Get these guys out and make her full. Yeah, there we go. Really, how did this start? You were a Twitch streamer before you started the uh the cross-dressing how did that kind of become a thing weirdly not i actually twitch was like the avenue that i chose to like expand on it like it started in a different way i started um

weirdly enough i can't uh would i started in the same way woody did i do minecraft and i still do i still i still have a like half a million subscriber minecraft channel that i still operate i still run that um and i do that without even acknowledging any of this i live like a hannah montana life of it and i did that for like uh oh i started in like 2015 i think it must have been like three four years before i did any of this and i didn't even do this on that channel i did it on a i made an omegle video um you know that omegle that site you see a bunch of dicks and a bunch of you know people wanting to talk i guess uh because i wanted to get

everyone's reaction a girlfriend at the time had done my makeup and i did a video just going through all of that and i posted. I'm pretty competent with editing, so I put that on because I thought it was some funny footage. And it sat at like 500 views for like 10 months. And then in, I think, like a weekend, it went to like 400,000 views. And suddenly it was just, oh, I should be doing more of this.

Yeah. I went to Twitch for it. Nice. How was the reception at first on Twitch when you started it was everybody Full on loving it right away Because I started doing it on Twitch and I didn't promote it. So I had like 50 viewers doing it Like less than that like barely any people watching like 10 20 viewers at the start. And so it grew its own little fandom. The 20 people that came from my channel that had recognized me were obviously very

shocked to see me looking a bit different. And then it started to grow on its own. So I didn't get a huge like, holy, what the hell are you doing reaction. I got mainly people kind of were in on it as they as they came in yeah well it seems to be going very well for you yeah i was

really taken aback for those who don't know i've told it before but i was i was streaming a month or so ago and uh and fenster raided me um with a couple thousand people right when i was just about to get off and i was just and there were chat was all like, we're here for the thigh. We're here for the thigh. Like, we want the thigh. And I'm just like, is this like a Wingstop joke or something? Like, I don't get it. Like, I'm not showing any thigh.

Like, what are y'all talking about? Like, thighs. Like, chicken thighs? What, what? And they're like, no, Finster's thighs. We're here because Finster's going to show us her thighs. And I'm just like, oh, okay, Finster. Well, thanks, Finster. And they're like, search who Finster is. I'm just like, what? They're like, yes, so hot.

I'm just like, oh, okay. I'm over here. I'm just like, Finster. I wish I had the reaction because I just go, oh. Because it's so confusing. It's so confusing at first because you pull it off really well. You pull it off. Everyone I've shown your photos to, I start off by saying, hey, tell me what you think of this person. And I just show them your photos. And they're like, ooh, she's pretty.

And I'm like, yeah, right? Let me show you one of her videos. Oh, is she one of those Twitch girls that gets naked and stuff?'m like kind of in a way in a way and then i show a video video of you you speaking and then they're very confused yeah that's uh your reaction to it was the i love that clip uh i'm it's so good because you tried to be really, like, what's the word, politically correct about it. It was so funny to watch you, like, stumble over what you could and couldn't say. Yeah, because I rated you. And what you said exactly was, like, when you Googled me, you went, thank you to this kind individual.

What they identify as. It was so good yeah i don't know i didn't know because i didn't know if you were a transsexual if you're transgender if you were i didn't know what you were it was very confusing and like you'd been kind enough to raid me so i certainly wasn't gonna like give you any shit or anything or be like what is that thing oh what an abomination. I don't know what it is, but I want to fuck it. I've made it look a bit of a...

My ears say no, but my cock can't hear. It's very confusing at the time. I think I've mostly figured it out now. Just mostly now? Just now. Just mostly now? Just mostly. Just mostly. Because I'm curious. This is something that people have told.

They're like, he must enjoy that, right? He's got to really enjoy the dressing up at this point. Do you? Do you enjoy going through the rigmarole and getting the attention and attention and stuff like is it depends how you mean it depends how you mean because obviously getting views on YouTube is very fun. Sure. Very nice. But I know like that what's implied by that is like, is this your thing? You know, you're the kink.

Yeah. And no, it's not but uh it's what it's one of those things that just the perfect storm of events happened that i've played through now and like seen where the spiral started to go down um and it was just i was always like always one of those dudes you know like there was always that one kid in like high school i don't know what your equivalent is like when you're like 15 something like that um that like the girl like girls popular girls want to put like makeup on them that's just what happens at that age i was that kid that was me um so i was just fairly used to having like makeup and stuff put on me um in high school that was did you parlay that into did you go with frank castle huh frank castle you ever go to high school with him he's known to sissy hypno folks

always that the guy yes I was just wondering maybe if he got his paws on you and get a little sissy hypno action we've been in contact for a very long time sending me all these videos with strange spirals spirals yep oh god that

meme it's never really it's never really been my thing it's just at the time I was so fine with it happening a girlfriend did it did my makeup I was like oh fuck it it was funny there was a some you know you get those stupid sponsor emails that make

no sense and they have clearly never watched your channel they just say okay you're at a million subscribers the mass email everyone and then um i got one of those from like a uh like one of those cheap clothing companies but they were saying like oh you're a perfect fit for our brand and on this female clothing company and i'd never done this before and i thought it was so funny that they'd really follow through and pay me for this but like my girlfriend came over, did my makeup for her and everything,

and there's pictures of it that I don't think I've ever seen in the light of day because it is not up to par with where I'm at now. But no, it just kind of slowly became my thing. I had the personality from it from YouTube, so I was all right at recording videos. When you were getting dolled up by the girls in high school, did that ever lead to some action on your part? Well, okay.

I dated a girl that was big on that for like a couple weeks, and there was another one that was a little bit. But it's really kicked off now that I've gotten better at it. It's surprisingly a good tactic just in case you guys wanted to buy a wig and a dress. Way ahead of you. It works. We would all be ugly women.

More or less. We've had the debate on this in the Discord. Who would make the best in the Hangout Discord? Who would make the best woman? There is a there is a tier list but i don't know if it would hurt your feelings no it wouldn't hurt my feelings wait is it a host tier list or a hangout tier list no it's a host tier list my guess of what they said would be kyle number one and then woody and then me that's my guess as well yeah

is that right but i i it was really hurtful. Hurtful. I know. I actually put you at number one, though, because I remember before, because I'd never seen you from below here. I didn't know that you were just jacked. I watched the old clips of you without a beard, and I was like, oh, no, he's got a kind of feminine face. He could maybe pull it off a little bit better than woody at least is your hair that fabulous or is it a wig yeah this is this is my real hair now you know you're crushing it looks great it's i've

been growing it out i said it is like a sub sub goal to grow it out and i it kind of works now i look really good in hats suddenly i never used to look good in hats. It's cool. I like hats now. Tremendous looking in hats. And out of hats. Well, I'm glad to hear that you were at least getting some action from the makers. How did you determine what your breast size was going to be? Because there had to be a point where you're like all right there's small medium large and absurd like like like at what point did you did you pick a a boob size i have all of them

they're interchangeable i have a drawer of all of them laid out uh the ones that occasionally like someone will donate like some absurd amount of money and then just say like go a size up you know and it's easy for me it doesn't it weighs a little bit more but it's not that big of a deal what would it cost to go up a cup i've been donated like a thousand dollars to go up like to the largest one immediately. Or like $500. I've got like e-cups that are like, they have a back to them that sticks to you that is mildly uncomfortable. It feels about as much as it, you know, it feels the same way it sounds. But they're like e-cups. And if you do that, it's a really weird sensation that you get.

Because you're feeling the weight of them because they're heavy. So you're always starting the streams with the smaller tits and then incentivize a little bit of donos. That's good. That's way healthier than what OnlyUseMeBlade did. Yeah, I got a little bit of feedback as well. So a little bit less harmful than what Blade did.

These are just fake boobs. Well, the whole thing is just ridiculous. I'm convinced that this is your kink now. And what I'm even more convinced of is that you're going to eventually, the person that you're going to end up with, it's going to be their kink. So now it's definitely going to have to be your kink. Yeah. Just the resigned, yeah. so now you're now it's definitely going to have to be your kink yeah we've um

just the resigned yeah yeah it's not it's not mine this is my popular belief but i would say that if i was going to be with someone right they'd have to be into it they'd have to at least be okay with it yeah right otherwise it would requirement yeah if you start if woody started wearing a dress all of a sudden i imagine there'd be a bit of pushback from his wife. Like, it'd be a bit of a... It's worth trying. Yeah. We could all do it. People will donate for us to undress and be men again.

$500. Put a goddamn shirt on. You piece of shit. That's great. Start working biceps again please you have a bulldog shirt on yes georgia bulldogs i decided coming on board the bandwagon let's go unlike kyle when the when my blues are in the playoffs he goes for whatever team they're against no i'm a great wonderful guy good friend i'm on Bulldogs. Not just because Mizzou already trashed their season. Certainly not.

You could have gone Alabama on me. You could have gone full Crimson Tide. Just Roll Tide could have been your go-to line. If they win, if they beat Georgia, I'm going to be a Roll Tide fan. They're going to. He told me he's going to have sex with his sister just to celebrate. Oh, that's a good one.

Alabama thing. Yeah, I like it. It works because he has no sister. It's less insulting. Have sex with my brother dressed up Finn style like a sister. Your younger brother, he could be a cutie. I don't know about that.

How old is the younger brother? He's like, he's 11. No, he's in uh he's 11 yeah exactly i have like i have like a nine-year-old brother can you imagine like like i've always wondered if like what that would be like like if like if sex with a nine-year-old the child yeah i mean they're just so little and you could throw them around and if they don't

do what you tell them, you just send them to their room. No, not sex with a nine-year-old, you fuck! If your father... Sex with his sister, you idiot! All three of our fathers are like 50, 60, 70, I think, in order. Something like that, roughly. Sounds right-ish.

So like, what if they had another kid? You're going to have to put headphones on, my sweetness. As much as I hate to muff your beautiful hair. I'm so sorry. No, you're good. No problem, man. But if one of our dads decided, they'd go on another one. Now, in some cases, that's...

We require adoption over here, but carry on. Yeah, I don't know. With the advances in medical science maybe they could maybe they could make your my mom just turned 71 that would be a that'd be a rough trip that would be like a global phenomenon if a 71 year old woman had a child yeah i i don't know if that's possible anymore i don't think it is with medic i mean there i watch this thing where they're um two different two different things i've been watching because i go down the youtube rabbit hole with genetics and uh and dinosaurs and shit but um they're trying to de because they can't do the michael crichton thing right that they did in jurassic park and there's no way to to salvage dna from dinosaurs it's impossible apparently dna like literally completely degrades after like

seven million years so even if there was that mosquito or tick that had bitten a dinosaur, then immediately been encased in Amber and somehow they were able to get DNA out of that. It wouldn't matter because after 7 million years, there's no DNA. The dinosaur, you fill in the gaps with frogs. They covered that in the movie.

Well, there are no gaps. It would be all frog. It'd be all frog. We made a frog. Well, there are no gaps. It would be all frog. It'd be all frog. We made a frog! You're telling me that whole scene about like, dino DNA. That's not even real? They couldn't do that? No.

That was a cartoon, Taylor. Of course it wasn't real. It was a cartoon they showed at fucking whatever corporation island that was. That was Jurassic Park. No, that can't be done but what they are doing what they can do the thing is that like chickens evolve from dinosaurs so like in their genetic code are the genes to be a dinosaur they're just turned off you know so they're

de-evolving chickens and trying to turn them into dino chickens. And they've done several different experiments to target specific genes. Like once they did one, like, all right, let's make a naked chicken. Did it. Easy. All right, let's make one with a mouth with teeth in it. Done. Easy. They got a chicken with teeth?

Yeah. And like a mouth, not a beak. They're like, all right, now let's make one that has reptilian legs. What? Because dinosaurs have different leg bones, like bird leg bones. I think the tibula is longer than the fibula or something like that. There's this disparity in the length.

Whichever one is longer or shorter, it doesn't matter. But the dinosaurs didn't have that disparity because of the way they walked or something like that. The science isn't important. Hold on real quick. So they made it have a mouth and teeth. So did it have lips? Whatever they create, one of these abominations, once they've created it in utero, then they kill it so that

it doesn't have to live a life as some sort of freak of nature. So they don't even really know if that... This could be a successful YouTube genre if they let it live. I would totally watch Chicken. It probably wouldn't have even survived, right? It's inhumane. No, it will survive. It'll work. It's just inhumane to make it live as some sort of weird freak of nature.

We eat them. Yeah, but we don't turn them into disgusting blob monsters and make them live. You ever see the fly too? When they keep that poor boy's golden retriever alive for years, suffering. It's like, it's so sad i cry every time yeah that's a dog you're out there listening watch fly too uh and skip the first one or don't it's like oh with torture it's uh it's it's awful so perfect this is an exact this is exactly what they're

going to do this is exactly it um this is very scientific, what we have here. Not at all, though. But no, they are literally working on this right now. They've got the funding to de-evolve a chicken into a dino chicken, and it's being worked on as we speak. They've got the funding. There's potholes all over the road. It's not government funding.

It's private funding. and then for that to have chickens with a flask to your billionaire and you can't buy a penis shaped spacecraft like bezos did you should just go dinosaur like there's less it's less competitive it's cheap enough that we could crowdfund one of these things here like they were like they were like now we have a million dollars worth of funding. I'm like, that's all it took? A big YouTuber could make that happen. Boys, we're going to make a dino chicken. You guys get to name it.

It'll be just like that Mountain Dew flavor. We're not naming it Hitler. There's a few things we're not going to name it. They were bragging about this million dollars in funding they had probably had finally like gotten their hands on, but they've been working on this for some time, like doing one gene at a time. Like I said, like, Oh, let's give it the mouth that worked. Okay.

So now we know how to do that. Now let's fix the legs and just reactivating genes and it's a DNA that, I mean, I won't get excited about this until you see like one grown up that's been oh great yeah i need to see it done and so but and then the other thing they're doing and they're saying that this could be a come to fruition in the next five to seven years is uh bringing back the mammoths because they do have mammoth dna and then they say that they can clone one and then put it in the womb of an asian elephant i believe and and they say that they can clone one and then put it in the womb of an Asian elephant, I believe.

And they think that they can actually bring mammoths back. So just in time for global warming, we're going to have mammoth skin. That would be cool. It'd be like having a Siberian Husky in Florida. I'm more interested in the mammoth, honestly, because the dino chicken sounds like it's going to be like very underwhelming. It's going to be like... There have to be some other things, too. What about

recently extinct animals? Do we have their DNA at all? Dodo. I think the dodo is the one that always gets the most votes, they said, to bring back. Is there some tiger extinct, maybe? Yeah, the Tasmanian Tiger.

Okay. That I'm sure we've all seen that footage of on Reddit. Recently, right? They recently colorized it, which was a new thing, and smoothed it out a little bit. Is it that video from the 1905, 04 World Fair or something? It's really sad when you know the background, because it's like, this is the world's last tasmanian tiger he lives here alone on the concrete behind bars for all of us in london to oglet look at him soon there will be none and he doesn't even know it and that's not

even like the most offensive exhibit because it's 1870 and they like they pan over a little bit more people they pan over a little bit and this is matumbo we took him from eastern africa he is the last of his tribe and he knows it because he watched a slaughter them he's just like dude i'm a person let me out you know they used to do that right they would put people yeah yeah they would they would like go they would like go kidnap like aboriginals and then go put them in a zoo and like a bunch of people would like walk around and be like oh jolly good like oh this is a right bit of fun before we have our shepherd's pie it's not supposed to be british or australian I don't know how to do either one, Will. It always becomes

Australian. I got a little cockney thing there. I'm co-signing. She's just too picky. And I'm going with she for you. That's your pronoun. Too picky. I'm just going to be the... Wait, what's the guy from Mary Poppins? Just the worst accent ever. Oh, the chimney sweep?

Yeah. Oh, I don't remember the character's name. I don't either. character's name. I don't either. It's very dirty. I haven't told you this since I was a child. But yeah, this is how bad things happen. You know, they're going to fuck up one gene and they're going to make a full-blown T-Rex and actually that's a pretty cool fuck-up. We have guns. We could

totally... Yeah, we just fucking kill that thing. Yeah, any... There's no reason to the end of this no reason to be afraid of a t-rex anymore like i mean like we're gonna give it years and years to get big enough to hurt somebody just blow it away the first sign of trouble that jurassic park movie where they were suddenly bulletproof is so bs every time you know the new jurassic parks they're shooting at that like the genetically engineered one somehow they've made flesh bulletproof it's so like yeah that's the one where like they've made flesh bulletproof. It's like, yeah,

that's the one where like, they're, they're like selling genetically modified dinosaurs to billionaires. And it's like the billionaires are billionaires. Cause they're not buying genetically modified dinosaurs. Like that's probably, Oh, come on.

They know that. Look, they were going in there. None of, okay. If it was like Elon Musk sitting there being like, make one with even bigger fins, that's sick. I'm buying an island that's going to live there.

But these were like Yakuza billionaires, like these will revolutionize warfare. And it's like, no, it's not helpful. Yeah, that's absurd. Maybe if you wanted to attack Raptor or something, like instead of attack dogs on your property, that'd be kind of sick. But no, I don't buy into any of this right you can't trust reptiles anywhere or whatever the fuck dinosaurs yeah i think if you want to have a army where people don't get hurt you go cybernetic cyborg type thing not maybe cyborg means people but uh anyway you go robots

you don't get dinos for sure we're way too close to robots to revert back to we're there we're there they just don't look like robots on two feet we already have like little drone tanks and stuff we could do oh yeah remember those japanese videos from like 10 years ago where it'd be like look at this robot and it looks like an atm that like walks three steps and falls over just like that was that was just 10 years ago and now i saw a video comparing it and this new one can like it can run it can jump over things you can kick it and it'll recover and balance dude i watched a video in like 1987 now this is when like terminators were dropping and stuff and in that video they explained that robots are not going to take over the earth

they're not even sophisticated enough to cross the street yet apparently it was a problem like i detecting how fast the cars were going and stuff like that i learned that robots can't cross a busy street and i held on to that fact way too long way too it was like 15 years later and i'm like guys you don't even know robots can't cross the street as if they were stuck like I was. 9-11 was five years ago and you're talking about a book from 1987.

He's out there sending emails to Boston Dynamics. You got this all wrong. You're like linking them shitty grainy footage of a 1983 60 Minutes. Proving my point. I wanted to ask Finn.

Oh, go ahead, Kyle. I was going to talk more about robots. I saw this little GIF on Reddit, and it was like there was a cleaning robot. It was just like this little, it looked like a copy machine, but at the base of it, it's got like squeegees

and like those rotating like scrubber brushes, and it was in a mall just moving along rather slowly, perfectly cleaning the floor. It was like a super Roomba, like an industrial Roomba. The thing probably weighed 250 pounds. Then there's an old man with a mop, and he's just staring at it like, what the fuck? What the fuck? You could tell he was just like shit if you're if you're but if you're a 65 year old janitor in a mall

how much longer did you think that gig was gonna last anyway right like i'm surprised they even clean the malls anymore what about those grocery stacking robots have you seen those i've heard they're out in public are you about to say that too? Wait, grocery stacking? Yeah, there's robots that go around and they'll see like, okay, this is out of stock. Just reach a little claw out and put stuff back. Oh, that's cool.

I've never, I think this is an American thing because I've never even heard of anyone in the UK, but I've seen videos on Reddit about it. I want to see it in the wild. Well, that would require me to go grocery shopping. This robot, I'm linking the article. It is like

the most useless robot ever. It's this big thing that goes around grocery stores called the RDB robot, except it doesn't clean anything. If it detects a spill, it'll just make a siren to notify some minimum wage worker to come clean it. It's like $55,000 for a robot to tell you where something is spilled.

The title of that article is so fucking funny. Marty, the grocery store robot is a glimpse into our hellish future. Top him so we can shop in peace. Yeah, it says Marty does a whole lot of nothing. He's advertised as an aisle-sweeping superhero, but it's simply a messenger that shouts about a problem until a human punks in the moose, whatever the hazard may be. So we're working for the robot.

That's so funny. He's like our overlord now. He's like, overlord now he's like human you spilled like can you imagine like you're you're a minimum wage employee at a grocery store you hate your job it's grueling you get paid nothing hey we're introducing a robot a little bit of help this is great it's gonna berate it's gonna call you a retard when someone drops eggs until you go over there and sweep it up under the watchful eye of Marty. Like, this is not good.

That's what it is. That's what it says in the thing. Can I read the article a bit to you? Like, oh, I thought it washed the floor. The unimpressed mystery shopper can be heard saying, well, I've got a husband to tell me there's a mess. She continued delivering a burn to both her husband and marty it's not really doing much of anything besides getting in the way an employee told mackenzie yeah i wonder what it cost 55 grand oh my god yeah they should take the vacuums out of room

i'll fucking walk around and tell you oh yeah missed a spot whoa whoa whoa whoa you don't you don't even clean it yeah yeah i'm saving money they pay me fifty four thousand dollars a year what what what robot would be useful in your life like if you could have a robot that did something for you what would it like some sort of chef robot where you could like arrange ingredients and be like what i would like and then like on the back you got like a panel and then it just does it for you that'd be sick a robot like a robot yeah like one of those like you just feed it material and it spits something out or even like just one that puts it into enough portion so you can do it would be better that's got to be possible just dividing stuff i'm sure that could be done i don't know about i don't know

keeping it clean i i just want like the like the full like like like the from this from the 50 sci-fi robot the big bulky cocksucker with arms with a chef hat on inexplicably like chopping stuff up that's what i was picturing also i want it if i have a robot i wanted to have one idea but kyle's idea of a big bulky cocksucker sounds better yeah yeah my original idea was a roomba that mows the yard just they have that they have that they have those for pussy yards they have those yards yeah no i've looked into it they're pretty expensive but not like super like look if it was seven grand or something i'd buy it but it's seven grand and they're battery operated and they do

a tenth of an acre. Get out of here. That's not what I need. I may be wrong about this. Maybe I dreamt this or something or just saw one of those Black Mirror episodes. I think I've seen combines. Big industrial combines that are

autonomous. Yeah, autonomous. In those big wheat fields or cornfields or whatever, just doing industrial combines that like are like you know like like autonomous yeah autonomous and they're like you know like in those big wheat fields or cornfields or whatever just doing that job so if that can be automated i'm sure your yard could be like i'm i'm pretty sure the combine still have a person sitting in it you know making sure that it does it's gps operated so they just do all that and they do it better than a person would typically but it's still smart to have some dude be like whoa dog in front of us your wildest dreams are insanely boring that you go

I would like something that exists but with a bigger battery than my ultimate robot I don't know I jumped on the cock sucking robot pretty quickly I feel like that exists as well I thought doesn't that exist yeah but not big jacked ones oh here it is he wants his robot to man oh my goodness as well, I thought. Doesn't that exist? Yeah, but not big jacked ones.

Oh, here it is. He wants his robot to man. Oh my goodness. This thing that he linked is a demonstration of pussy lawn mowing robot. Oh, this isn't here. This is legit. This is from 2017. It's called the World's First Harvest by Autonomous Combine. Oh, you're right.

It is a bitch-made combine. I'll say that. This looks like a European combine. They're harvesting enough wheat for this guy's extended family or something like that. The combines where I'm from are like a million-dollar piece of machinery. But this thing looks like it could do some work. You have to kind of skip forward to actually watch it do its thing.

Still, it's an autonomous combine. This thing, Zach Link, is good for less than one acre. Yeah, 0.9 acres. That's the absolute best they can claim. Yeah, that's their claim. Hang on, it's only $4,000. Yeah, for 0.9 acres? That's horrible.

I would have figured it need 14 of them. Well, all right, so it won't work in your house. But the average city dweller, my yard's small. I don't have an acre. No, I don't have an acre here. And I pay like, I think I pay 45 a week

to have a guy come and just do the edging and mowing and trim the bushes. So it would pay itself, you know. Like, you know, 80 months. 80 months. By the time it pays itself off, it's so obsolete. There's no point in even having it anymore. I'm surprised you picked a mowing one, Woody. Maybe I'm foisting my own belief onto you, but I've always thought, yeah, Woody, he's a very Hank Hill guy with his lawn. He enjoys going out there with his toys,

with his tools, taking care of it. See, there was a time when that was true. Woody can correct me if I'm wrong. That was his hobby three or four years ago when he had first become a country boy. A country boy, Woody he he was like an episode of green acres he was like i i got land i'm so i'm so surprised you didn't you didn't start gardening like on a on a large scale i really expected you to start planting corn

and potatoes and like tomatoes and stuff and like have a big garden going i'm shocked you never did it like i really am i so kyle's on target a little bit here i actually heavily considered the potato thing because the harvesting equipment that does it is the coolest like you drag it behind a tractor and it just pulls up all the potatoes separates them from the dirt and like it's pretty neat but um uh i i guess i still have i enjoy mowing i have to mow this weekend but uh it can also be a bit i don't usually i like it once i get going but there's other shit wrapped around it that's not as much fun they're set up you know you gotta get there and start greasing the uh grease points and i don't like greasing i don't like i love greasing opening the barn door

and get and filling it up with fuel and all that but once i'm and i don't like. I love greasing. Opening the barn door and filling it up with fuel and all that. But once I'm, and I don't like the detail work, like around the edges of my yard, you have to be careful exactly where you're going. But once you're past that and I'm just doing sort of mindless circles in the middle, listening to songs or audio book, then it gets good. That was one of my jobs when I was really young was like hitting all the grease points on the tractors and the equipment. And we didn't have one of those electric grease guns.

We had the hand pump one. And for those that don't know, you've basically got these little metal nipples all over this piece of machinery. And you like attach this thing to the nipple and you pump it and it pumps this thick, thick grease. Like I don't,

it's, I don't even know what to describe it as. It's incredibly thick grease and it like pumps it into that nipple until it like squeegees out from the other points uh to grease the bearings and stuff and it's kind of satisfying to do you're like oh i bet it's slippery in there now i have a i have a battery operated one it's by milwaukee and when i use the kind that kyle used i didn't like it like it is a task to sort of hold it on there and pump it at the same time. This is boring.

If the hose going to the nipple is flexible, then it wants to pop off. If it's rigid, then you have to pump it while also holding it steady because it's easy to pry it off. It's a task. You want the battery one. Yeah, if you could remove lawn mowing for me or make it a want to do-do instead of a have-to-do, I think that'd be nice. Yeah, that makes sense. I think, I don't know. I would like one that just fucking kept my house clean.

My house is a goddamn disaster. It's just so messy right now. It needs to be cleaned up. I've got a friend coming over. It's a tough task, though. You have decisions to be made, right? This needs to be put away. This needs to be declared as trash. That's the kind of mess you have, right? made right like this needs to be put away this needs to be declared as trash this needs that's the kind of mess you have right i'm just messy like i let things get out of hand really quickly um because i do live alone and there's no one to shame me

so unless somebody's coming over and even if somebody's coming over i can kind of like slide the mess to one side or like we just won't turn the lights on in that room over there or like such a third grader way yeah i'm like i'm like fucking adam sandler and big daddy just like putting a newspaper on top of yeah but i'm sure it's not like it's not filth it's just it's not filth it's clutter it's like it's like big difference it's just like stuff like these empty bottles like like like they're just there's like six of them on this desk you know one so much our house is like that too much as well and uh like there's some little okay so we have big dogs and my wife moves things around with carts like laundry and stuff the trim where the hardwood floor meets the

baseboards sometimes gets knocked out of place i had like six of them built up that i needed to grab a little nail gun and put them back in place. I bet it's been over two years of this like task waiting for me to do it. We have someone coming over next week. I did all of it. We have another little trim on a piece of furniture. I fixed that today. I fixed something else the other day. I'm just like tidying up these little maintenance items that I let accumulate because I don't want to be shamed. And the other part is like, I'm moving fairly soon. So it's like, I kind of just want to do one big clean.

You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's like nobody's coming over here. That'll judge me anyway. Like, like, like if ladies come over,

I can just guide them down the hallway to enter the bedroom and then right back out again. Like they don't need to see. Usually we don't put on the blindfold when we're still in the garage. Shut up. My garage was full. I've started the process of getting rid of cardboard boxes. When I get those normal Amazon boxes, I burn those right away. But I had the cardboard boxes that my 80-inch TV came in,

the cardboard boxes that both of my beds came in, like these big, heavy duty ones how long have they been out there like you've had that tv for years years and they're just in the in the in the in the garage you know i i park one car and they're in a motorcycle for moving or will it not move it's not no it's like thin and like narrow like like it you mean to put the tv back in i would think that if you had that box and you knew the move was coming, it might be worth keeping. If I had all the styrofoam that went around it, probably, but I think that's long gone. They make these special moving boxes for nice televisions. They're a little expensive, but I think I'm going to spend $150 just to guarantee my TV

makes it to where I'm going. I don't know, I think it was like $3,000 or $4,000. It wasn't one of those million-dollar wall TVs that I drool over every time I see. Have you seen those million dollar televisions they have now? I can't imagine. They're incredible. What's the height are they up to now? They are gigantic. They stopped measuring in inches.

They're measuring square feet. It's enormous. It's like a movie theater, but it's like a movie theater but it's like a what should i google uh what a new one just came out the other day that was literally like maybe 15 million dollars or something like that like like search like world's largest television or something i don't know um i think phillips might make it but there's a couple different models and one of them is around a million and it it alone looks like the little screens that like the movie theaters it's it's crazy big but but yeah i i went out and i i took all those boxes the other night

and they wouldn't even fit in my little burn pit so i just put them on the stone and can you just drag them out there it is that's it oh look at that wow look at that child he's gonna he's gonna run up put his hands on it right away. That looks better than a projector. A projector could not live in a room with that much lighting. This isn't a real photo, right? It's almost certainly a rendering. The people are animated, Taylor.

Man, I need new glasses so bad. I keep telling myself, I was driving my wife home from something like like a week and to go like saturday night and like i got like onto the highway before i'm like oh these lights are wild like every single light is just a giant crucifix because of my astigmatism i'm like like white knuckling like i probably shouldn't be driving at night right now. When you wear glasses, these are your regular... Oh, I don't know. When you wear your regular glasses like you would for driving,

can you read in them? During the day? Yeah, easily. At night, not as well. Do you have separate glasses for reading? No. These are my everything glasses. You just have everything glasses.

I have a question. Yeah, what's up? If you're completely without your glasses and contacts, how would you fare in a fist fight? Oh, really bad. Interesting. I would get one hit, knock my glasses off, and then I would start to panic.

Oh, no, you're starting without them. Oh, there's... I'm attacking you in the dead of night. I'm two feet from my monitor. I can't see any of the three of your facial features at all. It's just a blur. Actually, I can see... Can you tell I'm wearing glasses?

That's what I was going to say. I can tell you're wearing glasses, but I... Maybe this is absurd. How many fingers? Oh, shit! Oh, Lord. tell you're wearing glasses but i yeah maybe this is absurd how many how many fingers um oh shit um i well well it looked like three but there was a bleed out and so i i was thinking yeah i was trying to you're just holding them close together i don't mean to brag but i knew right away yeah not without your glasses you Well, you would. Goodness.

My eyes are shit. I have faith that there's going to be some LASIK for you down the road, even though you have the thin corneas. I hope so, man. I've looked forward to LASIK for so long. I really hope I get it someday. Here's a bit of technology that I hope happens in the future. What about some sort of an ocular implant?

What if they could put a robot eye in you? That's sick. It involved taking your eye out. It's not like a contact lens. Oh, not his awful shitty eyes. He's like one of those guys with a little flipper. And they're like, we have the new robot arm 3000. And he's like, but my flipper arm.

You have to take it off how am i gonna make messes at restaurants i mean but i wouldn't want to do both eyes like we all know how like the cyborg look looks cool because you have the point of comparison the same reason i don't like you want to glow red like the terminator yeah i want one like like cool implant eye that makes me look threatening. My mouth, yes. You need something around it all. Just at least a scar going right diagonally across it. You want to literally be Kano. Yeah, I want the bad haircut too.

The terrible haircut. I don't know about the chest, the Iron Man thing, but yeah, a bionic eye. That's how Jackie cuts my hair once a month. That's how well my fade goes i would definitely go left eye because my left eye is my bad eye and i would get i'd get that optimized i would want some form of aggression available too like i want it to be able to shoot something or even if it's not like a harmful laser like i could point in something but people I'll be like, look at that over there. It's just a laser pointer. He can't start fires or anything.

I just go to hockey games and distract the opposing goalie. You can't kick me out. That's ableism, idiot. It's like, yeah. Get himself in trouble with the FAA. Taylor had this skit. Not a skit, but he was doing a bit sort of where he realized that one of his eyes was just a total freeloader. And he said it with this enthusiasm and sort of like a funny inflection that it burns into my head whenever I'm trying to read my phone and I'm like, are you worse?

Total freeloader. You play for me whenever my one eye is not carrying its weight. Yeah, my left eye is just there for looks and for depth perception, I guess. So I want to bounce back to Finn. So what was kind of the reaction of your family if they had one when you started doing this online? I was imagining myself and like, I was just thinking like, man, my, my dad and my parents would not have been cool with me doing that. Is my kids actually telling them was a remarkably smooth thing, but there was plenty of times that like they, it was happening and they got glimpses into it.

And I hadn't told them yet, which is so goddamn funny to me. Like they, um, I was in a car ride. I was on like a bit of a road trip with my mom and i was in the passenger seat she was driving and i was just going through my photos and there was a selfie that i took and my mom happened to look over at that one minute she go oh who's she i went oh my friend um i forgot what name i made up but yeah and then you know half a year later your mom thinks you're cute. So then when you just went and told them

and they were like, you know what? That's great. Good for you. This would make such a good episode, like a sitcom where you have to keep, you're like, oh, that's my girlfriend. Oh, what's her name? And you have to make up a whole persona and they come over and you have to pretend to be the girlfriend.

Like leaving the room and then getting dressed again. Tom Hanks sitcom. Bosom Buddies. Oh, yeah. Wasn't that where like the landlord wouldn't allow like cohabitation between like a man and a woman. And so he had to like dress up as a woman so that he could like live there or something. If I recall, the entire building was female only. But the rent was low.

So he and his male co-star pretended to be women every time they entered the building. And some of their friends knew and some didn't. That's a good premise for a show. That wouldn't work anymore. Yeah, somehow they'd get canceled, even though it didn't seem all that harmful. Was there a difference in the way your mom and dad responded to it, or were they both cool? I've got a worse one about my dad, which I've told before, but oh my God, it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Because the way he initially at least got his first glimpse into what I was doing was that he'd found, weirdly enough, doing was that he'd found weirdly enough like he'd found a pair of underwear which you know a pair of women's underwear that I had for a stream at some point and he saw them in the laundry and he didn't assume by the way I've just remember just thinking about this now he didn't assume I had a girlfriend he immediately went to oh he's a cross-dresser okay cool that was it. You never assumed that I had a secret girl? I'm just now thinking about that. He's an intuitive guy.

No, I think he just didn't think much of me. I have so many jokes, but I don't want to be mean. It's just like, oh, there's no way he's got a girl that's hot enough to wear these coming over. These are my son's panties. hot enough to wear these coming over. These are my son's panties. The moment every father dreams about.

Victor's secret. Yep. That's good. That's got to be a website. It must be. Just male lingerie. It's got to be like cross-dressing wear oh please but you know he he went on with that assumption no one ever corrected him like like i got told like months later that about that story from my mom and she was like oh he was right after i told her what i was doing but then um then yeah no he he i remember his words or something or how it was quoted to me

was just his reaction was oh at least he's not boring and then that's just how it went on from there it's nice it's certainly not boring yeah we we were talking prior to the show kyle said something like oh i thought girls were neater than that uh referring to the back of your room and you seem to disagree but i'm hiding yeah um i get the comment a lot that like oh he's like every other woman that their room is an absolute state like there's just a pile of heels behind me that chair is just any if i move my camera either way it gets so much worse than it is. It's so bad. Especially when there are so many tools to create this illusion.

There's so much stuff just around me. Every girl's house I've been to seems to just have a random assortment of bras, underwear on the floor. Maybe it's a 20-year-old thing they just haven was like when carl was saying how he just had shit around i was i was thinking in my head god i thought i grew out of that i thought he's supposed to grow out of that i thought like naturally i'd get better at it no you naturally get neater yeah i thought that would happen it's like when you remember being like 18 20 like early 20s and like you still have that thought of like i wonder when i'm gonna like tick over into a full adult mode and now being 30 i'm like oh that's just not gonna happen like i'm gonna have the same brain in my head when i'm 72 except i'll

just be like horrified of how quickly life is passing me by like what do you want but you you think that you haven't matured and by the way that just carries on where you're like yeah I'm 48 years old and as immature as ever but then you hang out with young people who are laughing at like stupid TV commercials and you're like you guys are fucking imbeciles I guess that is true

it's so slow that you don't notice we've become more sophisticated but I still think there's that part of us that would love to like I've tried wine I prefer a red sophisticated, but I still think there's that part of us that would love to... I've tried wine. I prefer a red, a 2021 red from the gas station. I can't remember what movie that's from.

Where the guy gets the wine, he sniffs it, he does that bubbly thing where you suck it through your tongue. He goes, this one is a red. Yeah. That's about my level of knowledge too. Yeah. Wine is bullshit.

I love when they get those wine connoisseurs, those sommeliers, and they have them try to tell the difference between a $12 bottle of wine and a $1,200 bottle of wine, and they can't. You get to this point, I think wine and a $1,200 bottle of wine and they can't there's like this you get to this point like around i think it's around $20 where it's like this is as good as it's got as it can get at $20 we've we're there like $20 will get you like an eight out of ten wine and $20,000 gets you like a nine out of ten wine is that true like what percentage of like our huge amounts of

sommeliers failing like a $20 versus $2,000 test? Yeah, they can't tell the difference. I mean, but that's really truly just sales. If they seem confident and their name is French, I would trust them. I wonder how that works with audio equipment. I suspect there's a similar type thing where like a $200 and a $20,000 microphone. I'd have a hard time telling which one's better. Yeah, diminishing returns of that.

But then if you took the labels off the car, and I said, show me the 2021 model Honda and the 2020, you'd still have a hard time with it. Actually, the new Kia, I saw one of the new Kias the other day, and what they've done is they've removed the Kia badge, which I don't know about you, but when I see Kiaia when i see that kia and that little triangle or whatever the fuck i'm like cheap cheap thing cheap plastic thing maybe where they made korea or something

vietnam wherever the fuck it could be they took that badging off and i don't know what the new kia is but i was like what is that is that one of those fiskers or is that one is that is that a new tesla like it looked to me like a fancy high-end like it didn't necessarily appeal to me but i was like oh that's a fancy thing there and and i don't remember how i found out that it was a kia because like the badging wasn't like in your face at all but when i found out i was like oh that's a cheap thing like it was just complete brand. Is it a K5? Can you Google it? Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, I think it is a K5.

I want to see it. I really do. I can't even picture in my head what a nice Kia looks like. It does look cool. When I worked at Enterprise many years ago, every once in a while, they'd be like, we got this really good car. Try and upsell to it. And it was a Kia K900. And when you're at the airport you can't show a picture

of it so you just have to be like we got a really cool kia k900 and they're like kia fuck off and it's like no it's really cool it actually is nice but like they clearly learned their lesson from that and got rid of the kia branding yeah like there's a reason honda has you an acura toyota has lexus their suv looks cool too like like like the the The Kia, I don't know what their SUV is. It's called a Telluride. There is an SUV called a Telluride. I don't know if it's the Kia or not. It looks nice, especially from behind. That's the K5 thing. It looks better from behind

and it particularly looks good at night and in black, because the headlights light up in a really fancy, modern way. That really appeals to me. I really like that. Did you change? I don't know. No, he opened up the gallery for it. Yeah, go to the link I gave you.

And this looks cool. Tesla's got like... If we get past this, there's an interior. I'm sorry I cut you off I don't know I was just saying like Tesla's after a while They kind of I've seen so many of them and they seem to always file that same design style They've kind of got a little bit like I've see I'm a little bit bored of them This one looks really neat. I kind of just see that and I imagine like modern cars electric car Like I really like those The self-driving stuff.

I'm too terrible of a driver to invest in any of it though. Most women are. I was going there too. What kind of car do you drive now? I don't. I own a car strictly so I can have the no claims bonus.

Because before you're 25, I'm 21. Before you're 25, I don't know if it's the same everywhere. It's just awful. Insurance is so high. And so you hit 25. And if I've got like, you know, if I have like seven years of no claims bonus,

then it should be great. Where in the world are you? I'm in England. Okay. I've said what city I'm in. When you were talking about accents before, and you're like, who's that guy with the awful accent? I've said what city I'm in. When you were talking about accents before and you're like, who's that guy with the awful accent?

I was like, it's my city. I know the one you're on about. It's a, I live in Birmingham, which is fine to say I've said it before, but the, um,

it's, it's why if you ask people in the UK, they'll say like, I think it's probably the, the Brummie accent, the Birmingham accent. That's the worst. It is pretty terrible. You don't have a bad accent?

No, but then I speak to Americans all the time. And you've got all your teeth too? Most of them. Actually, no, I don't have all my teeth. I don't have all my teeth. Two of them never grew through. My canines. I don't have canines. What? That is bizarre.

Do you have fake ones? No, but what they did was I don't have canines what what that is bizarre i can't do you have fake ones do you have fake ones in no but what they did was i don't have canines but when i was getting braces they figured out that i didn't have canines like you don't have fuck you don't have canines do you want us to make your other teeth that are besides you do you want me to make them pointed make them look like it and i was a stupid kid so i didn't even ask my parents i was like yeah i'm pointy. You know what? Can you sharpen all the pointy? I want to look like an Amazonian tribes person. Uber predator. I've got like a, I also, it makes it funnier that I'm,

I've always been a vegetarian my entire life. I've never tried meat ever. Funny in one way. You made it through like your whole child. I just know like if I had pulled that as a kid, they would like no you're trying chicken you're trying beef and then you can make it so your parents never your parents are really chill we were and i were looking at her her diet the other day and uh and she was showing me how many calories she ate and i was like you're eating like an actual girl you realize that right like this is so few calories you're gonna you're gonna melt and no no i think i've got a slow metabolism and like a week later

so i lost like four pounds you were right you're eating nothing you were eating nothing she's like shaking in the morning yeah and i we're talking and and like but then you were like oh i'm a vegetarian and i'm like oh well i don't even know where to begin with with making a diet model for someone who doesn't eat meat. No. The stuff that I've got now, I think people have this idea that being vegetarian is like this really healthy or vegan. It's a health-orientated thing. The people that tend to be vegan tend to be more, or vegetarian, tend to be more health-focused.

vegan tend to be more or vegetarian tend to be more health focused so it's kind of like causation not uh you know correlation not causation thing well like if you ask for the vegetarian menu you can get a burger and they'll sell with a vegetarian burger but they'll give you a side of salad like you can very much have you know everything that you know like vegetarian meat substitute for burgers they're still like you know 300 calories in them i never thought about that it's not the meat making you fat is it like i could just as easily have a really nut based diet and be fat as fuck exactly i knew someone in college who went vegetarian to lose weight and they just ate like chips yeah i was gonna say and it doesn't work yeah it's like chips and salsa oh cheese queso fully fully vegetarian but the gap between like meat eater and vegetarian i assume everyone's giving me the reaction of just

like i couldn't live without bacon i couldn't live without chicken fried chicken whatever i have the same gap in oh my god how to vegans because we still have like cheese eggs all that and that's the majority of my diet but vegans what the fuck do they eat is it just no cotton drywall i don't i don't understand the vegan vegan is no no meat it's vegetarian plus no eggs and cheese and no dairy from animals they don't do honey either right they count bugs as animals and and and even and it's i don't know about honey that's not true i don't i may have oh i don't know i think that's i i saw a thing the other day um and it was talking about the mcdonald's french fries and i don't i don't know if you're aware but like if you look at the ingredients of

mcdonald's french fries one of the ingredients is natural flavoring they don't have to divulge what that is um this indian guy who was like part of one of those um really strict hindu cults uh was like hey um we're curious what's in that natural flavoring and they're like oh beef tallow which is like beef fat so the McDonald's french fries have not been vegetarian forever they might be like currently because um they this guy's sect i'll call them is so strict about like harming an animal that he only washes his hands he only washes his hands because he doesn't want to kill bacteria and he sweeps the sidewalk in front of him to avoid stepping on any insects he's just destroying their homes like a twister.

Imagine move aside little one. He's like brushing bugs out of the way so he doesn't step on them. This guy's a fucking loser. He must smell so bad because he's not washing his ass because he doesn't want to kill the bacteria. The bacteria is what smells.

That's a guy who backed into that lifestyle to excuse not bathing. I do not believe the bacteria thing. The insect thing is the one. So like 15 years ago, I started camping on my own as opposed to when I was a child as a Boy Scout with adults really running the show.

So I bought a book on camping. And one of the things it told me was not to move rocks because this wreaks havoc on the insect world and that's when I thought I've got the wrong book. This is horseshit. It wreaks havoc on the insect world. The thing to remember about insects is that you're bigger

than them and you can do whatever the fuck you want. They hate gasoline so whenever you see a bunch of them glug glug my friend. They hate fire. They hate gasoline. They hate friend. They hate fire. They hate gasoline. They hate guns. They hate guns.

I don't think kids are that scared of guns, actually. They should be. I got a question for Finn. Yeah, I don't like that. So you've come to the last two at least $50 Patreon hangouts. Yeah. And when you are there, you get attention just like the hosts do. Does it feel like work almost?

Answering interview questions, being the center of attention? No, this is awesome. I love this. This is so cool. Were you in one of the ones where the guy did DMT? He did that? I still didn't talk about it. Yeah.

Yeah. We've been talking about dmt a lot lately and uh and our 50 dollar patron group is made up of a lot of really interesting people and a few degenerates here and there and uh not that uh this gentleman's a degenerate i was gonna say i don't call us no he's very clean cut like him like that successful guy i like him yeah there are others, though, definitely. It's a mixed bag. A few autists mixed in. There's some guys that look like they smell.

I never miss one. We're talking about it like we're above them. We're part of it. I mean, we're the ring leaders of these people. We're just being honest. We say this to their faces. They know who they are. But this guy, we were talking about the DMT, and he's like yeah i got something right here and it pulls out the vape or whatever and we're like dude do you want to do it like no pressure because you know there's like 25 people watching you do you want to do it yeah i'm gonna

do it i'm gonna do it and he's just like took a few hits of that thing and he went to another fucking place it was cool to watch you were doing a really good job because Kyle started trying to be the – what is the – The shaman. The shaman, I guess. I like Oracle more. Yeah, the Oracle. Yeah, you're like, you're walking.

What do you see? And he's sitting there. And I didn't know what I expected from DMT. I expected him to hit it and then immediately be comatose. And then we're like, man, I can't wait to hear what he says in 15 minutes but like it was really like he was sitting there he was 30 he's like he's smiling like at our jokes and stuff and it's like what are you seeing he's like a whole line of fractal shapes and colors and kyle's like walk towards the shapes the closer you get to the shapes you're gonna start to walk through them and you can look side

to side and you can see the shapes like a forest do you see that and he's like yeah i do see that and and it went swimmingly he like came out of it he was like kyle you're really persuasive you're good at that and just like tremendous amount of power yeah huge amount of power everybody's being very very chill everybody's being very, very chill. Everybody's being very chill with them. Everybody's being respectful, being quiet. And then maybe 20 minutes later,

he goes, I'm ready to go back into the matrix. And so, and this, and apparently there's a rule in DMT. I didn't know where that Kyle's need to be familiar with, but like you take two hits and like, you're like kind of,

he took two at first and he was kind of middling. And this time he took three big old hits that's the ticket and he was visibly fucked up and kyle starts to walk him through this like what do you see and he's like everything's shaking and moving and it was at that point probably should have known he did too much and then dirty piece of shit that he is like yeah you go ahead i'm like i'm like what's the most predominant color you see right now he's like gold and i'm like look up there's a waterfall of gold it's flowing down over you look up and you can feel it flowing and washing over you the warm gold happiness i'm like and he's and he gets a little grin on his face because he's seeing this shit and i'm like now spread your arms wide and he does it and now you can fly you're gonna fly

straight up through the waterfall and i'm about to tell him that he's gonna burst through a pane of glass into another dimension and we're about to get wacky with with this little guided trip and dirty dirty pops in the room and he goes you're on fire! You're on fire and it burns! And like everybody else knows, in the whole chat, Kyle's like let's go ahead and keep that to a minimum. Let's not do that. And the other people are like shut the fuck up.

He did it repeatedly until I server muted him. He was going to make a golden shower joke and that was the first thing he came up with. My head went to the lava gold i'm like that molten gold is don't fuck around with that kyle but i kept it to myself yeah like so like dirty got me apparently he didn't hear dirty so like no harm done it's weird they didn't hear him he said he didn't but who knows maybe part of him heard it and caught on fire and it's it's existing in

another realm right now and he said he like fractured his soul like fucking something out of harry potter and it's burning somewhere right now and can't get back to his brain yet and uh but but no then he then he started convulsing a little bit and vomited on himself and it was uh it was a rough sight it didn't look that part did not look fun he was just like and like spit up like a baby would like this thick white mucus like coming down his face and it was like oh this is the dark side of dmt they don't tell you about it was funny that it looked like like baby spit up because i don't think anybody caught it he was like when he came back a little like 20 minutes later he was totally fine he was like oh i've been eating cheerios all day

so he just threw up cheerios like a like a little kid but yeah shout out to that guy that was very cool of you to yeah to be to put yourself in a situation that vulnerable like i i in my head as he was doing it i'm like i don't want to give people bad ideas but there is not a chance in hell i'm doing dmt on this call like with with all these people in my ear no they're going to try and talk with me i would imagine but but nobody did everybody was super respectful sam's dirty that's not true sam's dirty everybody was like you know do that but dirt like like woody was saying and i agreed with them that the first little dmt thing he did i was like okay this this is not nearly as intense as i thought it would be i thought it was going to be like world shattering and he was still able to respond to questions.

It was the three hit time that I want nothing to do with. In my research, that was the dose. So Kyle's done research. Two doses is kind of a lightweight thing. And three is heavy duty. I have a suspicion that because he did a two and followed up with a three 20 minutes later, three was too much. Yeah, it could have been. They describe it as like it's almost like a binary state of being.

It's like one puff. Oh, yeah, you're seeing some funny stuff. Two, it's a little brighter now and I have sensation in it. And three, it's like now you've left the realm of existence like the step from two to three is like the big they call it breaking through and uh and i like it reminds me of the is it the doors that have us break on through to the other side like he's got to be talking about lsd there right like for sure like yeah jeff morrison right yeah this is really gonna quickly become joe rogan's thing yeah like whenever rogan talks about it a ton it's fascinating to me though

like the stuff that people see oh i'm i'm so upset that i missed that i wish someone told me that's really cool i'm sure he'll go back in later he's not even he's not even the only one in the 50 hangouts who does dmt on a regular basis so like i'm sure you'll see it again it's funny the thing with dirty is that i've i watched the podcast for a while that's how i you know i i found you guys sort of uh when carl went to jail and that got on on everyone's you recommended and that's how i got into it i just watched a ton of content and you've been talking about dirty it was a 50 patreon for a while and um i just kind of like that's some guy right and then i met him he stands out doesn't he yeah he's he's really uh an interesting guy um is it a dumb idea for him to be a guest? He's quite a character.

Yes, it is. It's a dumb idea. He was talking about the pug thing. Have you talked about that yet? Oh, Tony. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. We really gave him a hard time.

Not me. Dirty wants to get a pug as a pet. And the whole reason he wants a pug is because he wants to name it Tony the Thug Pug. That rhymes and he likes that. He wants to dress it up with a gold chain and some sunglasses and have Tony the Thug Pug as his fucking sidekick in life.

That's the only reason. He'll be an Instagram famous dog. He can't keep fish alive. He's gone through so many fish that it's a fucking graveyard over there. His fish are two weeks old, and I feel like you're downplaying that. If they make it to three, I'll be shocked. Here's the thing. Dirty's coming to Colorado with me next week.

I leave tomorrow. A couple days I leave. Saturday afternoon I leave. We're doing two weeks, and dirty's week a week two guy like he'll be so in like a week or so like he's joining me in colorado for a week who's gonna be watching the fish woody his girlfriend his girlfriend fucking long john silver over there she's gonna kill those things they're gonna be dead when he gets back there's's no way they survive. Fish sitting. What an interesting gig.

There's no way they survive. And he's talking about getting these fancy fish. They're like $1,200 each. And they're like, oh, yeah. The Moorish idols. It's just like, oh, yeah, but you can't just get one. They get lonely. They do. Well, they're not the only animal that doesn't do well in isolation.

That's a thing. That's true. but fish i always think of is like i don't know almost a step up from like bacteria and algae or something some of them are schooling animals so is bacteria i actually don't know much they're always wiggling together okay okay my indian friend says they are anyway moorish idols are kind of the pinnacle of like the fish keeping hobby and uh it's like you know i think i like football i'm gonna play in the nfl like nah probably not yeah have you ever seen uh the naked gun movies with uh leslie nielsen you know the white haired there's uh there's the one where um he goes to like this incredibly wealthy man's office and he's got all these he he's got cool shit. And you know how like rich guys will have like stuff in their office to like show up like, Oh, this is, he's got like Thai cobs. No,

that's a different move, but he's got, he's got like a, an indestructible titanium pin, like from, from Japan that was made by some samurai. And he's also got like this fish and this fish tech. And he's like, there are a million dollars each. It looked, I don't know what kind of fish it is. Lionfish. It might actually have been a lionfish. It looks spiky a little bit. It looks beautiful. Long story short, somehow the pin ends up

in the fish tank and he's reaching down in the fish tank trying to retrieve it and he ends up impaling the goddamn fish so now the fish is on the pin and he's killed this man's fish. That's one of the movies I need to watch's killed this man's fish it's fuck that's one of the movies i need to watch when i can get high in colorado that shit's so have you watched squid games yet everybody's talking about squid games am i do i have to get on board i need you just so

i can have you explain it it's overrated but it's still a good like seven out of ten six and a half out of ten okay the the premise and i can do this without spoiling is um there are people from all walks of life rich and poor who have huge debt problems so i guess they're all poor but you follow where i'm saying some are like titans of business who've become you know who you don't know are poor and uh there are strong people there are smart people there are women they're men and they play this game to get lots and lots of money it's hard to understand how much money it is because it's not u.s dollars but it's you know billions or something and uh um so throughout the thing they partner up they form alliances sometimes the game requires alliances

sometimes the alliances are informal and the people who lose each round are killed typically or maybe they die in games sometimes they're murdered by the people who host the game for losing and they don't know what the game is going to be each round so it makes it difficult to choose your teammates right what's a typical a typical competition. Let me give one away. I'll spoil one. Yeah. So they say, all right,

in this game, you're going to play in pairs. And, uh, so everyone chooses one teammate and I might go to someone and say, look, I'm really smart. Like,

let's just accept that you were really strong. We don't know what this game is, but I think if we team up, we'll be a good, you know, we'll be ready for anything. And God be like, okay, okay. And there's another case where maybe two guys are really strong and they're like, dude, the two of us will kick so much ass or a husband and wife team. And we go and we learn the game is marbles. And then we learn that the loser, oh, they don't play marbles like we do. They choose games, but

one common one is, I hold some marbles in my hand, you guess if I have an odd or even amount. You hold some marbles in your hand, and that determines how much you win or lose. If you put six in your hand out of these ten, you're making a really big bet. If you have one in your hand, small bet, and you win or lose. Okay.

The thing is, we're playing against each other. Now, we were buds. We were like friends ready to, you know, fight to the death side by side. And now we're fighting to the death against each other. There's a husband wife team who paired up, and now they're playing until one of them is murdered. And, like, there's a level of drama and hurt that goes in every round of the game. Are you talking about Squid Game? Yeah. And like, there's a level of drama and hurt that goes in every round of the game. And then there's sort of a squid game. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there's a meta thing as to why are these people hosting this? What is the master? Is it televised mission behind this? Maybe that's it. Maybe that's a, it's sort of on the down low. Like people don't know.

It reminds me a little bit of cube, right? We're a little bit anyway. Like I can remember the cube series of movies. I've seen all the cube series. It's basically, a little bit anyway. Like, are you familiar with the Cube series of movies? I've seen all the Cube series. Series? Sure. Basically, it's a little bit of a mixture between Saw and Escape Room.

So, like, these strangers all find themselves... But it's worse than both. It's much worse. You, like, wake up in this, like, room, this cube-shaped room, and we all know how cubes work. You know, wall in front of you, behind you, left, right, up and down.

And there are portals to each of doors, if you will. And every one of them is another cube-sized room. And you're essentially inside of a gigantic three-dimensional puzzle. And you're trying to, like, find the exit. It's like a hedge maze, but three-dimensional. And each room provides a new booby trap that you have to navigate. Like, some of them, each room provides a new booby trap that you have to navigate like some of them each room is different there might be lasers

or there might be flamethrowers it's one of those movies where you're just intently watching for an interesting way for the next person to die because there is no character development there's no structure at no point are you like man 40 minutes ago I thought Alan was a no good

selfish guy but he's demonstrated himself to be valuable to the team like no it's all right are they gonna jump into the next cube oh look that fucking retard got cut in half one thing about uh squid games that i want people to know is you have to give it at least two full episodes to hook you it spends the first two episodes doing character development and stuff which becomes important it's just you know you got to do your work before you can enjoy the show how far into it are you woody i have one more episode i'm on nine well i haven't seen nine sorry to go back uh you're liking it so far a little mixed i like it but i feel like people have oversold it you know where they like it's

they're just riveted by it it's a 10 out of 10 and i'm giving it like a six and a half seven like i think it's good i think it's worth watching i recommend it but a seven out of ten isn't something i'm going to be talking about two years from now yeah it's a good netflix show they don't produce as much stuff so it's kind of just they got in they got another hit that's just finally because it's kind of becoming a bit Netflix has kind of become a bit like recently. Do they have Ozark? Do they own Ozark? Is that right? Yeah, they do.

Yeah, it's great. Is there a new one? When's the last time Ozark came out? I think we're probably due for a new Ozark. It's been like at least a year, year and a half. That show rocks. I really, really like Ozark. That's probably if that's Netflix, that's my favorite thing Netflix has done. But the Squid Game thing, I'm only halfway through,

but I like these silly premises where they don't even try and backfill and the incentive for the billionaires to do this is blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, we got a cool premise. Just assume a couple billionaires are crazy and that they want to watch people get killed in games. I'm not to any kind of reveal of the VIPs or anything yet, Woody. But I hope they don't try and do a convoluted explanation of it because they already pulled that once in this series and I thought it was ridiculous.

It's a spoiler, Zach, so you can put it up. But basically that the one guard um i don't want to give anything away for kyle i wasn't watched it yet but one guard fucks up and reveals himself and revealing who you are is a huge no-no you can't do that everybody has to have masks on other than the players and that keeps it fair and like the main guy comes out with his gun to you know end the guy who revealed his face because you know that's a rule you get fucked up if you reveal who you are and he's like you've destroyed the principle of the game which is everyone is equal here unlike out outside and

you've defied our prince and it's like after that bit of monologue i'm like that's so stupid like i had in my head that this guy was like uber genius. And then he comes out here with this milk toast. We're giving them a final chance to be equal. And it's like, bitch, the game is not equal by any metric. That group stole the other group's food and nobody did anything like that. It's not fair at all. So I thought that was a little ham handed and a lot of a little bit silly.

But overall, it's a really interesting show. It's a cool premise. I like those. I don't know what the genre is called, but I like when people are like trapped in something and they have to figure out how to get out of it or they're like on an island. What's that? Stuckporn, that's called. Yes. Stuckporn. Exactly.

Stuckporn. Yeah. That's what I'm into. Being stuck in a killer game. We haven't talked about it on the show at all but uh the marvel thing uh what if the animated marvel stuff um what do you i talked about this like privately or maybe in the hangouts or something about how it's it's passable animation it's animation's okay the stories have good premises but they're poorly executed it's like the writing is bad i did find out a woman is directs it i think um no just saying you know she's doing an amazing job you said the anime you like the animation it's it's good enough it's good enough is it's what

i would say all thing right like it's not necessarily it's like weird there's a yeah there's a weird texture thing going on like like it's it there's a little less texture on like faces and stuff than you would like and explosions kind of have this sort of 2d look to them like fireballs and stuff but what i wanted to get at is most of the episodes are kind of meh the first one was okay it's like what if captain america was a woman okay this is kind of cool like first of all of all, fucking kill me. What is it? Snoop death by snoo snoo. She's just super fucking hot.

And, and I love that. Like, she's still into Steve Rogers, even though he's still that little twig man. And now she's like, like there's so many guys who are into that. Her name is Penny Carter.

Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't have given it to you. I could have watched you guess at that. and uh but the newest episode is that the four one so no there's one after that so do you remember what happened at the end of the thor one i think so like ultron landed oh yeah yeah yeah it's not ultron i don't It is Ultron. It's not the same bad guy that was in the Thor movie with the lava face

or something? Oh, no. That's Surtur. Yeah. Oh, no. That's Ultron. Ultron lands, and then that's the end of the episode. The newest episode picks up, and now we're dealing with Ultron. And not directly after the episode

that you watched, because that's a different universe. We go back to our prime, one of the prime universes or something like a completely different universe, but he's there too. And you, and you're in the, in this episode is what if Ultron had won, if he had, if he had beaten the Avengers when he first came into being, uh, you know, there was that issue where like, you know, vision's body was, was meant to be Ultron's body, but the Avengers stole it and they put the good AI in it. So the what if is, what if Ultron had gotten his Vision body and become Vision?

And so they follow that narrative. And I guess it's a two-parter because after a 30, 35-minute episode, it ends and And there's definitely a lot more to come because Ultron is such a hassle to deal with. They've had to go get some help. And, uh, it's like, like his power level is greater than anything we've ever seen.

Like in, in all of Marvel, like, like they make, they, they really exist more than that. You say, Oh,

that's such a good moment with that. Yeah. Um, okay. Actually don't spoil it for me. I think i want to wait another week and watch them back to back it's one of those that episode it's one of those things where you every after like five minutes shit starts just popping off every moment after that he's like holy shit he can just do that you know yeah his power level is way above anything we've ever seen before. The Marvel What If series

is a bunch of like, hey, what if zombies attacked in the Marvel world? What if, you know, instead of Captain America, we had Captain Britain female chick? What if this? What if that? Every one of the premises is a 10 out of 10. You know how Kyle has this superpower

where he can describe a tv show or a movie to you you absolutely fucking love it and it's usually better than the movie itself right everyone watching this knows what i'm talking about what if does that what if they're like hey what if and then they lay out this premise and you're like oh i'm i'm so glad i live in the world where you made this and And then you watch it and you're like, oh, okay, it didn't live up to the trailer, I guess I should say. It's worth noting that all of those seem like they're the first part of something. They all end on a bit of a cliffhanger.

So I get where you're coming from with that. But you've got to watch the next episode of it because it, it, it does a little bit of tying in. Yeah. It starts tying them in. And like, I don't think it's a sport.

I don't think this is a sport because this is something I don't know. I don't know if this is going to happen, but I'm guessing that maybe, maybe all of the universes we've touched on, like those individual characters, maybe they, maybe like the survivors from all of them are going to have to band together or something like that.

Maybe that Thor we saw who was only child Thor. He was cool. He was cool. He was like Gaston. Maybe he has to band together with the survivors from the zombie universe and maybe the Killmonger from the universe where he became Black Panther. Maybe the Killmonger from the universe where he became Black Panther. Maybe all of those characters have to come together in a singular universe to deal with the big bad in this current episode. If they do that, then the whole series redeems itself a little bit in my eyes. I don't know anything about superheroes, but Captain Britain, that doesn't seem like it's going to be anything different than Captain America.

If they want a different world, wouldn't they do like captain russia and it's like how is the u.s going to beat this super soldier without a super soldier like you know what i mean because like if england has the super soldier and america's like fuck we need help england's just going to send captain uk over here right like they're like we're as if russia or if it's like captain china now we got a problem how are we going to deal with this when we don't have a captain america that um well there already is a russian captain america he's called the red guardian um so that's already a thing but uh yeah but but in this and actually there's a little red guardian teaser in the in the new uh

in the newest episode um but but but no i get what you're saying to some extent um like seeing how we would fight back against superheroes without having access to them would be neat you are right about that whole captain britain thing that the premise seems kind of odd because in the comics they knew that and captain britain the comics can like he has the ability to like go into the time travel go into the multiverse. He's like a police officer, which is really fitting of the UK. He's that. It's like this weird like, it doesn't really fit how you'd think Captain Britain would be. I've just named

him that. He's a super soldier with just still just with a shitty baton. Because he can't get a license for anything. Do you remember the episode of not It's Always Sunny. It's the episode of Reno 911 when the English Bobby cop comes over and the Reno 911 cops are all just

giving him a hard time. They're like, so you don't have a gun? No, no, no firearms. No firearms. You don't have a gun? You don't have a siren? What do you do? You blow your whistle at him? Well, yes, that usually gets the attention. All right, well, we're going to have a little traffic stop here. You just hang back here. I want you to do you blow your whistle at him well yes that that usually gets that attention he's like there's all right well we're gonna have a little traffic stop here you just you just hang back here i want you

to get muffed up or anything and like he's like pulls over guys like you're a little fast back there weren't you and he's like hold my flashlight while i go to check on this driver you're a little fast weren't you and he's like yeah i guess't. You see the sign back there, and the next thing you know, the British cop is dragging him out of the passenger side window. Get out, you dirty speeder! You dirty speeder! And he's pummeling him with a flashlight, just beating the shit out, the man's

crying like a little girl. He's like, oh, please stop! Oh, where's the big man that was here? The big man who was speeding! The little girl going too fast on my road here's your license back and goes thank you that's right you're welcome they get back to the car and the bruno 911 my cop is just like shaken and disturbed he's just he's like there's your flashlight that's a nice piece there. Yeah, thank you very much.

That show is such a sleeper. People I know who have the same sense of humor as me have never seen an episode of that, and everyone loves it. Reno 911 is hilarious. He was wearing a Halloween costume last year. Oh, yeah, Mr. Dangle. He did. You killed it, Lieutenant Dangle.

It was just a way for you to show off your legs. You can't show off your legs on this show. Oh, when you were walking away, though? There was a lot of ass. Dude, you couldn't wear underwear with those bottoms. You're telling me I wore a short skirt for nothing? I can't even show legs on this show? This is BS.

Dude, I haven't had the chance to slide the chair back but like this is the sort of skirt you need to cross your legs with i wonder if you showed your nipples right now if we'd get in trouble that's an odd suggestion taylor would they be like well clearly he's just dressing up oh yeah they'd be like no no that counts that counts bitch you're in trouble that's that's something I've been, like, with on Twitch TOS, because every now and then a staff member will show up, and you can see when a staff member joins on Twitch. And the rules are so fucking

skewed, because they obviously weren't meant for me. Like, it's something like, you can't show a female presenting nipple. And it's like, okay. Fair. So how, what's the line? Like, where does it become, like, what I'm, if I button this jacket up, am I now, like, male Okay. Fair. So what's the line? Where does it become? If I button this jacket up, am I now like a male person?

And then I can show nipple? Or like, you know, guys can't tell if you're wearing makeup unless you wear red lipstick. So maybe I just have this and no one can tell I can show nip. Or I've got these things, the false ones that I've got. I've got another one over there. And I still don't know whether i can show them i can show that you the back of it so you can see what i'm on sure it's just a toy i would imagine it's okay we've shown dildos no it's yeah yeah we've shown gigantic

anal plugs i feel like you're not breaking new ground here yeah and if it's just a piece of rubber like that's fine okay look this is the back of it it looks like a chicken cutlet or something yeah uh the front of it has like a nipple on and it's you know what i'm about like do you know what these look like it's not a realistic looking nipple but it is a you can tell it is a nipple but it is i look a little bit like a serial killer with all this like random female body parts lying around my house there's like there's something you can get that's like a full top are fake boobs different for people who have boobs and people who don't like does the question make sense like like if there are chicks who wear those chicken cutlets uh to to enhance what they have yeah but then there are guys who wear them because they're

they don't have anything to start with it is one like hollow backed and the other not you'd think uh that this i think is branded for like drag queens cross dresses and like people with this yes i was about to have trouble on the word for that that's what it's like branding on amazon so that's where like you have like maybe one or both uh that have needed to be gone for surgery i've never heard of anything for like expansion because you just use like foam like every bra has like a bit of foam padding because you know all of them do i haven't found one i think it's called a bralette when it's not yeah something when you don't have anything at all to add yeah i've got a lady friend who's got like eight cups but but she wears this absurd bra and it's just like when you feel it it's just like i'm like what am i grabbing here you're like a football player with pads on or something like that none of this is

real and she takes it that is a form of lying there's so much padding i'm i'm like i'm like your little titties are cool like like i i got a problem with your little titties. I knew you had little titties. You weigh 85 fucking pounds. You weren't fooling me with the socks. She's like, I can't go out without my padding. I don't get it. It's a dangerous precedent to set. It's a very dangerous precedent.

She's less tolerant than you. Yeah, yeah. If you ever get attacked, you know attacked and the rapist discovers that he's been bamboozled, you've got to think about him. And how you're going to escape. How can you be so upset that the girl that you're after, you get to the point where you're

in the bedroom of the girl. Only A-cups? Are you kidding me? I expected A at least. See? You vomit. Get the fuck out of my house. Only A-cups? Are you kidding me? I expected A at least. See? Vomit. Get the fuck out of my house! You're gonna vomit? You kind of can't fake an ass, though.

That's one thing that's quite hard to do. Oh, false. There's underwear that does that. Have you not seen that underwear? I have some, and it's it's so hard to make look realistic like it's a talent in itself like you need to have experience with wearing them to make them look okay because i have some they're like uh they're like you know proper full hip pads and everything um because i am shaped like michael phelps so i kind of need that sometimes but um yeah that

it's it's really hard to make look good because or at least okay let's say a girl's wearing leggings right you can kind of get the outline of an ass like you can see like the crack and everything when you're wearing like pants that do that that goes away it's not the same like shape it's more like a flat it just doesn't look good and you look pretty good in zach's link yeah they make if it's an amazon thing they've just yeah that's just a photoshop thing oh fair damn it is that not fact checked you think the people that are hiring models for their, like, oh, make your butt look giant, then you're going to hire small. Oh, yeah. I like the ones where, like, it's clearly, like, someone in China scamming you.

It best ass implant in the whole world. Ass equals area on the back. And it's, like, just unhelpful tips. Yeah. I love that on Amazon that i shop exclusively on amazon so there's like uh it's it's maybe my quality margin's not quite as high as it should be so you never go to the store and try on the the wear you're doing or do you no well i was curious like if you're just like the when you walk in like a dude and you're

like uh yeah i wear a size 11 and i want five pairs of shoes yeah i'm like i'm i do wear a size 11 weirdly all those heels they look fine over there but i've picked them up before and went okay i'm gonna try on these shoes and people go that that what they're massive hold on like these are large. Oh my. You're a big bitch. I am. Large feet.

Even larger thigh highs. But there's a... Oh my god. No, I couldn't even imagine. People have... Now online shopping is so easy. You can almost get better. You can get better stuff and if you shop at places like next I'm not buying

Louis Vuitton dresses to wear one time for a stream you know like I'm like she and you can get like an outfit that looks really good in photos for like three dollars you know like it it's so much are you following the female only wear an outfit

want to rule Woody seems like it's more much easier. Wait, are you following the female only wear an outfit once rule? I'm a performer, Woody. Seems like it's more of a streamer rule. Alright, I'm a performer. I'm on board again. Is any part of you, like when you're doing the shopping, like, oh, that's going to look real cute on me. I like that. Or is it like,

I'm just, alright, time to buckle down, get work done. Ah, that'll work. No, my mindset has now slowly morphed into like okay that looks quite i hate when i know i get those thoughts like sometimes i'll be sitting streaming and i'll be playing with my hair like fuck sometimes i'll just be sitting there looking at gay porn that that thought definitely does cross my mind or at least i think practically i shop at stuff i'm like okay right that's got like it's black and it covers my shoulders gonna make my shoulders look smaller blah blah stuff like that right or like okay i can show like this much chest because i wish i did it because it looks so it looks so cool if you give me like 30 minutes I could do it off camera but like I can create pretty damn realistic cleavage so every time I find something

that would work for that that that's something I go to is it like makeup like you're like drawing shades in I've not well kind of it's a bunch of different stuff. My method is a secret and patented, hopefully. Patent pending for it. But basically, I get like... If you've never heard of them, they're very strange. They're a fully strapless bras. Because strapless bras, most times, they're just like... Okay, the strap doesn't go over your shoulder, but they're still a band. These ones, they're just two pads, and they just stick to you.

And so I get those those and they're like two different things that you like clip onto each other so i just put them a little bit further back and then clip them and then suddenly it looks it is i wouldn't say indistinguishable but indistinguishable from like head on and like this angle like you know as soon as i move more than that it doesn't work anymore. Have you considered making a workout plan just ass day and just chest flies? No curls, none of that shit. Really optimize yourself.

That's the thing about being a vegetarian is that pretty much every meat substitute is pure protein. I think I was talking to Kyle about it too. The stuff I've been eating is i've been people take the the piss out of me that's like i don't work out of a body i don't need to like me just lifting a few boxes around the house which i rarely do gets me like strong enough like like average or but like i'm pretty i'm a pretty strong guy i hope i don't really measure up to you three but still you know i'm not doing too bad but like it's all 95 protein in that it's like my micro micro protein mycoprotein

it's made like mushrooms and people took the mic that i was saying i gained muscle really easily and then i proved it with the fact that i looked into what i was eating so if i keep doing squats i'll have a giant ass hopefully do it up yeah then you won't need those underwear exactly it'll be powerful how much money how much of a donation are we going to need for you to get actual breast implants i think that's what everyone wants to know i've said how much it would be i think i the number changes all the time um but it depends how long they'd be for because there's everyone's got a number for like how long for a year alright so breast implants for

20 seconds I don't know about that but people say a lot of time for like a year have you heard of that story about the guy oh my god he got breast implants for a year on a bet for a hundred grand. And they just ended up keeping them. But my opinion of that was like, yeah.

My opinion of that was that a hundred grand is kind of low to get tits for a year. And they're not small either. They're not A-cups. They're like proper implants. Yeah, they have to blur them out so what's the number a hundred thousand dollar boobs i think it would need to be enough money that i wouldn't need to work right if it was forever i'd be in the millions yeah you can definitely leave them in there for a few months or something i mean they're gonna go while they

heal up and like like you know like you're not gonna immediately all right they're healed time for another surgery i'd do it for a year for like 300 because it leave if you took them out yeah i'm not gonna make three thousand dollars right now we'll start scheduling the doctor it costs more than that i'd be out money money. You would. If you lose money, you'd get dressed in plastic. Dr. Nick will throw them in there for 500 bucks. I imagine if you got them and then you got

rid of them, your skin would look really fucking bizarre, right? No, I imagine a plastic surgeon is removing them too. I think I made that complaint because i always see like the girls like trans uh trans men like when they go from men uh from women to men they have like a bit of scarring because obviously that's a lot to move but a breast implant is just what i

showed you these right but under you under the skin and i think they go in from like your armpit or something i just push them in and then you maybe have a tiny bit of scarring here and then that was the that was my they're just squashing every complaint i've seen women that have a long scar underneath their entire boob is that bad doctors or there's a couple ways to do it and there's a couple ways to place them they can go in they can go in from the bottom and they can go in from the side when they go in from the side we you underestimate just how stretchy skin is like because they make this tiny little incision and they shove a fucking turkey into it they're just like they've got a tool and they're just like working it roughly into that hole they're just packing this huge thing under there but you want it under the muscle uh from what i understand

not like but just like skin and then implant when you feel implants feel gross they feel like water bottles for the most part sorry anybody else there's fake titties they don't they don't feel good they can do better ones i'm sure they can but uh fat implants too you can do that they don't look as like perfect though i've heard like they don't look as they don't look like just orbs instead which a lot of them are looking like but uh i've heard of that something interesting was brought up to me i've heard you can get 24 hours implants so genuinely on like unironically you can get there's women that are like I couldn't find a use case for it unless like

you know, a woman's got like a really fancy date to go to or something, she just wants a bit of a she really wants to deceive a rich man yeah, a bit of a boost for something, because it lasts 24 hours, they inject like saline, I think

and that's what it is, yeah I don't think it's for a guy to have... You don't get D-cups out of that, but you get maybe a size up or something. I think oftentimes with implants, they have to move your nipple to another area, too, to make it point the right way. They move it back.

No, no. He's saying that... Repositioned. Let's see. what would it be? That nipple's upside down. If the boob sags and then they put it under the muscle, now it's pointing down. They need to take that nipple, reposition it in the proper spot. Can look good.

It can be tricky. I think a better question would be how much for you guys? Because I'm already deep in the hole here. My number's probably probably gonna be a bit lower or maybe higher because i know how much i probably get but like i kind of want to know individually how much how big like like some big honkers absolutely bananas i'd say like c cups are pretty normal like they're the least noticeable you couldn't't hide that. I would get C-cups and keep them for a year for... I think a million dollars would do it.

I think a million would do it. With the surgery paid for, all the expenses and everything. Yeah, yeah. You get cash a million or tax-free a million. That would be pending speaking to the plastic surgeon and making sure that we're going to get back to something normal by the time we're done. Can I have him do lipo while he's there?

Just take all my late night binge eating and just make it hot. Right up to the tips. Yeah, probably about a million. I can't imagine getting out of the shower, putting my glasses on, and... I think I can get imagine getting out of the shower, putting my glasses on. I think I can get a million five. I think if people hear a million five, they think a million,

but it's significantly more. That's my negotiation. That's a million after tax. Great. Oh, good point. My number is definitely lower. I was going to say, for me, 300 grand or something, but... Would you... Okay, if you were going to do it,

especially, I want Taylor as well. Yeah. Kyle and Taylor, you're both fucking jacked at this point. You're both too muscular to look good with boobs. No such thing. You'd pull it off. Don't judge my porn. I i don't know i i would

i just look so absurd i would be too embarrassed to go anywhere yeah that would be that would suck but then also like a million 1.6 million dollars like i originally said that's that's a what if some like what if some Saudi billionaire like throws five million dollars at us and this time months from now we all have tits sitting here and we're all just like what were we thinking what he's like I'm already a millionaire

22 years it's thrown off my flight patterns you know what the difference between having four million dollars and having 5.5 million dollars is kyle tits you've got kids that's the difference lots of back pain and my wife won't sleep with me i mean if it's a one year thing right i i could i could see that for sure what's that one i feel like for one year right jackie would whore me out she'd be like for another million you could fuck him in the ass you've got an expensive asshole i don't mean to brag but yeah and you wouldn't even be able to tell, at least like I have so much chest hair,

you wouldn't be able to tell the scars after it was done. It would just be good to go. Ideally, it's a minimal scarring thing. I have no chest hair. You've seen my chest. I'm like a hairless cat over here. It is, but you look great. You look even better with this.

Do you know the, okay. I've started doing bodybuilders. I think they shave like everything or they wax everything, but I've also been doing that I'm not like naturally a hairy guy, but I shave my legs I've got shave legs or and stuff share my armpits out of doing all of that I've occasionally I've like a razor shave my arms because you can't really like oh like electric razor if you shave your arms with a razor It fuck you ruin your arms awful oh really yeah don't do that fun tip don't ever try to get bumps and stuff it's gross you want to use nair though you should use nair because i like for those photos that i took i nared my arms i didn't do anything i like trimmed my uh like like armpit hair so it's not

all bushy and weird but like um so you could actually see some like definition like in my armpit because like there was so little fat left. Like you could see striations in my goddamn armpit. But, and I did, I have, I did narrow my legs, but those pictures just looked too gay.

They just, there was just, I've never had trouble. I never got the pin. No, I just, I don't know. I guess I'm how far up.

Cause it's usually I've done it twice. Cause I did it once. And then the one time I was like, I fucked this the pin. No, I just, I don't know. I guess I'm how far up. Cause it's usually I've done it twice. Cause I did it once. And then the one time I was like, I fucked this up somehow. And I tried to do it in a more professional way. My armpit, my deltoid. I was a swimmer. Oh, you got lucky there. I don't, that's usually, that's a pretty common thing.

The area I had trouble is, um, I guess the whole, like they called them pussy pimples, like the air. So back in the day, you wore those tiny swimsuits that the swimmers wore. Now they have bicycle shorts, but back in the day they wore little banana holsters. They did a bikini one. Yeah, I guess.

The bikini area would probably rub against the newly shaved hair and cause little pimple things. Nair is great for that. I use Nair there. You don't get ingrownrown hairs or anything you got to be careful whether you'll burn yourself and i use aftershave afterwards to like make sure there's not like because it will like burn enough skin yeah it hurts like hell yeah it's incredibly painful yeah i remember when i was like 15 i like started getting more chest hair and like I started like it grew outward from my nipples like

you know in the beginning of like Lord of the Rings where like you see the orc army on the map how it grows across middle earth like it started on the nipple area and like grew out from there and I I hated that look because I just had that like middle tuft here and then just hairy ass nipples and then like enough hair around it to be noticeable and i remember once in the bathroom like before school it was like swimming in gym or something and i was like shaving around my nipples and it wasn't until after i did it that like i was like this is what this is the worst look. Perfectly clean areas around my nipples. It's just targets.

You underestimate how light your skin gets when there's no hair on it. I guarantee you saw that with your legs. I was really shocked how bright they look. I shaved my nipples too. Anywhere I want a girl's mouth to go, that's getting shaved. You trimmed the whole

the whole there's no hair like like on like like like the big part there's hair like there's a strip down the middle like like right down the middle of my chest and that's it my chest hair ends here because he shaved his beard I trimmed out of my beard I'm using long hair yeah like there's no hair up here at all like there's nothing like the hair the hair starts like here yeah and there's like almost none and that's like two little quick like you're done yeah i was saying like if i sorry to insult your chest hair i was saying like uh um the things that i've like noticed now that like i think i will live the rest of my life doing this is like I will shave my armpit hair forever.

It's so much better. Even just if you want to trim it, it's so much better. It's so gross when it's really long. And it's just kind of like a damn patch to me. Why do you feel like it's better? Because I feel like it's worse. And I've also done both. Why would you think it was better?

Because it's just damn. Because I think long hair serves as a lubricant. i'm like you know look at me look at me i'm built for speed right now you're a friction problem but you have a shirt on that kind of does the same thing like right now the shirt does but i felt i was very aware of my skin like rubbing and sticking and kind of like i I don't know. Yeah. Like it just, it didn't flow. I found a happy medium in between that where like, I've never shaved my underarms or anything, but like when it gets really long and like I'm noticing myself sweating more,

I'll just like take scissors and like get rid of half of the total length. And like my, my sweating really diminishes and you still don't get like an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah. I just take my trimmer. That's like a zero blade or whatever. The same thing that like I like shape my neck up with or like whatever. And just like kind of wave it around in there.

Like I try not to touch the skin because I don't want to completely take the hair off. But like really thin things out in there and it's a lot more comfortable. But I'm with Woody. It does add a certain amount of lubrication in there and if you uh if you were to shave it all off which i think i have done before it feels weird for a while you know yeah that's getting used to i've gotten maybe it's that i've gotten so used to it now that now i'm just like it's the before times and now it's I prefer how it is now. You don't feel like pubes are required lubrication?

I didn't say pubes. That's a different thing. I know shaves. Wait, am I wrong? There's almost nothing down there. Right, right. And you don't feel like they're useful lubrication that you're missing? No, no.

Your pubic hair? Yeah. Yeah, I don't need any. I'm pretty sure that's why they're there. That's why're missing no no i i your pubic hair yeah yeah i don't need any i'm pretty sure that's why they're there that's why your pubes that's why you have armpit reasons why you have pube hair you know there's a little lube going on yeah it's two reasons uh one of them is the lubrication that the hair provides and the other is uh to hold scents that are like important like sexual pheromones which isn't really vital to us at this evolved state but like when we were more uh closer to lower hominids it was kind of important for you to have some funk going on down

there so the ladies could get a whiff of your your manliness babe i smell your dick from a mile away yeah exactly i know i'm on the cheese only diet oh i've swapped that i've swapped that I've gone like shaved armpits And the same like trim Buzz cut there like just very Neat but not Yeah that's what I go for too You know what I'm trying to replicate someone who has Perfect pubes so I just trim the hedges

Until I get what I want Yeah I don't want razor bumps And I'm too much of a Nancy To do Kyle's smear all your Genitals in there and then wait what you feel like is an appropriate amount of time and hope you don't get a chemical burn. There's touch and go. So like I've done this before, but for anybody out there who's hairy and wishes they weren't quite so hairy, I use – first of all, we want gloves because like you don't want nair on your hands. It's depilatory cream. It's some sort of corrosive material.

And, uh, you just rub it in and you get a little bit damp, but not like out of the shower, dripping wet. You just like splash some water on the areas that you're going to treat. And then you really like rub the stuff in well. And I set a timer for like three to five minutes. And when it gets close to five, i hop in the shower and i've got like one of those loofahs and i start scrubbing it off as fast as i can um like like trying to get it off and like usually it doesn't work very well the first time you'll get like 85 of the way there and you look like you're you've been exposed to radiation where you have these patches of completely perfectly smooth skin and then patches of like tufts of

like hair that's just like what happened it's like that scene in robocop where the guy gets the toxic waste on him and the skin sloughing off that's what the hairs look like they're just they're fucked but then the second day you do the same thing again and you're able to like target those areas that were a little tougher than the rest and by the time that's done you're just incredibly smooth. It lasts longer than a shave because it melts the hair down below the skin a little bit. It does burn if you go too far. I didn't know about

that lasting longer. I might try that. Shaving, I think I spoke to a girl about it because these eyelashes are to stay. They last two weeks. These don't come off. I take the rest of my makeup off there's not a ton but i take that off but the eyelashes stay and you're like laying on a bed getting these done and she was talking about how she's had everything lasered everything yeah and how badly that hurts as a woman and um she asked

could you laser balls i was like i fucking hope hope not. I wouldn't want you to laser by my balls. And I was saying how, like, she said how, like, nice, smooth balls are. Like, as a, you know, tip for her. But, um, oh my god, getting a razor by getting a razor, like an actual

razor, holy shit, that's terrifying. No, I got a town down there. I do with an actual razor, too that's terrifying no I got a town down there I do with an actual razor too but I'm very careful now in that like I remember when I was like 16 or so 17 I was doing that and I like sliced my nutsack and it was very uncomfortable

it'll keep bleeding to this day to this day. To this day. My balls are so infected. Just 14 years of sexism. I was... There was a girl over and I was going to take a shower and get ready for us to have some sexy time.

And I was like, all right, let's shave things up while we're in here. And I was in a hurry because the sooner I get done in here, the sooner I can jump in bed with her. And I cut the top of my ass crack with a razor and nothing has ever bled like that before. And I'm literally like holding a washcloth on the top of my ass crack, like a, like a maxi pad.

I'm like, open the door and like, look back in there. I'm like, I cut the top of my ass crack and it won't stop bleeding. And she laughed so fucking hard. How were you shaped? With an actual

razor just behind you with a mirror or something? Yeah, just put a leg up on something and get back there and go to work. I don't even want to begin to tackle... I mean, my ass crack is like the side of a Detroit highway. It hasn't been just untouched for 30 years. Like Fangorn Forest.

It is like Fangorn Forest. Some of them are sentient. You hear moans of pain. What a nice way to say you've got crabs. I feel like the crack of your your ass if you're shaving was it the crack of your ass oh yeah oh everything the top of the crack where it stops being a crack that's where i that's where i cut myself yeah you got really lucky that it was there because i feel like the inside crack of your ass is a fucking that's a scary. That's an easier place to shave. Because it's just kind of one direction.

It's when you get to the top of the crack where the razor doesn't want to conform and get in there. But you don't want to cut yourself in that area, like Finn's saying. Because that's where you shit out of. Well, yeah. Yeah. And whenever I shave that area, especially if I'm not about to have sex or whatever, for aftershave and to make sure I don't get ingrown hairs or

any sort of infection, I'll use Neosporin. I'll put Neosporin in there and that makes sure that everything heals up and doesn't get infected. Because I am afraid of that. If I were to get some sort of ass crack infection, like, God, that'd be embarrassing to go to a doctor for. Have you ever had to go to a doctor?

Yeah. Have you ever had to go to a doctor for. Have you ever had to go to a doctor? Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had to go to a doctor for something like embarrassing and you're like weighing the options of like losing a testicle versus telling a doctor that you've like nicked your ball shaving or something like that? I've had like the you're an idiot response from a doctor before. Like when I was a kid, I like, when i was like a too old just like a kid but like too old like 15 16 something stupid i um there was you like you have pencils pens at school and there's like i don't know if you remember there's little pots you can sharpen pencils in and i

remember the pot had got full and i tipped the pot out of like all the wood shavings and all that i was like oh god damn it there's my you know just wanting to be neat there's still stuff in there i can't get it out so i just put it in front of my face and blew and it just went back into my eye so i got wood in the back of my eye and the doctor just gave me a response if you're an idiot why would you think that would work uh like lead and wood this is a different story when i was in grade school uh this was a kid that got hurt as a result of a prank but where well basically i i was large for my age i was maybe you know third grade or so and there was this small kid sitting next to me on the bleachers and you know how the bleachers is people can come up behind you and like fuck with your shoes fuck

with your legs like jackass style and this one shithead the same guy who uh would spin the fire poi years and years later in the backyard mushrooms this same guy he was a little shithead bully and he went up and i was sitting talking to this kid who got traditionally bullied a lot his name was nate and uh this other guy came in and unbeknownst to both of us, he tied my shoes, my shoelaces to Nate's shoelaces, my right leg to his left leg. He did that without you noticing? Without noticing.

He was a deft little fucker. And like I'm on the far left side of the bleachers, right? And so then he calls me during recess, the same guy. He runs over there and goes, Taylor, we're playing football. And I like jump out of the bleachers to run over there and play football. And I dragged this poor kid out of the bleachers. And he just slammed on the ground. And he was all skinned up.

And this little bitch tried to frame it that I had tied my own shoelaces to this kid's in an elaborate form of bullying. But teachers did not buy that. They knew it was him. They knew I didn't do shit like that. But did i felt bad anyway because he was like i think he went home that day he was like so skint up on his legs oh he was it wasn't bleachers on grass it was on concrete so finster taylor hit puberty at like six years old so he essentially tied this poor kid i'm exaggerating to a water buffalo and then come here boy i make it four steps before i realize i'm dragging it we had one kid in school that like had a beard at some really young age

i did i was always one of those yeah yeah i was it's funny you say that because uh i was really embarrassed of growing facial hair early because in in eighth grade there was only one guy who could grow like a big beard and he was bullied ruthlessly by everyone for it and not even just that they'd be like you're a fucking loser you stink you'd be like they were they were so mean to this guy like to this day sometimes i'll be like going to fall asleep and i'll be like yeah i hope that guy's doing all right like like it was it was he's a wolf man now yeah and i remember it was either late i think it may have been even late seventh grade and i like went to my dad and was like will you please teach me how to shave so that no one knows i'm growing a beard because i don't want to get bullied like

like peter is and he was like yeah and. He taught me to shave. It was freshman year over the summer that I grew out the beard and everybody was like, that rocks. That's awesome. I could have done this a couple years ago too. We just hate dog boy Dave.

It wasn't the beard. We just hate Peter. We're just going to bully him no matter what. There was a guy that I went to high school with named jared uh really good guy and um he had a beard not to better than yours like he had he had a serious thick perfect beard that was like as i top tier beard the best of beards. Not 10th grade? Like 10th grade? His legs were so goddamn hairy in middle school, it was a sight to see.

I just remember being in math class with him. I just remember being in math class with him and looking at my legs, and it looked like when a woman forgets to shave for a couple days. And looking over at him and wondering if he's wearing pants or he's just that fucking hairy they were just so absurd just a hairy fucking dude that hit puberty in like i don't

know when he hit it but he was like full-blown a man grown in seventh grade the problem was he was a short guy so like he topped out at his athletic potential in like ninth grade like like he's five foot nine maybe something like that like the the best basketball player that that of his age group but then everybody else kept growing right so like now he's that fucking muggsy bowls kind of guy out on the basketball court like like everybody else is six three and he's five nine or whatever but yeah yeah he had a crazy beard yeah that was that was like seventh and eighth grade. Like, I remember I was one of the tallest kids in the grade, but there were a couple of guys who were taller than me still. And like, I topped out at like, well, I'm six foot. And so like in high school, I got six foot. These other

guys in middle school, I was like me and these other two guys, we're all going to be huge. And by like senior year of high school, I'm six foot and they're both six foot six. And I was like, me and these other two guys, we're all going to be huge. And by senior year of high school, I'm six foot, and they're both six foot six. It was like, God damn it. They really took off on me there. I had no chance. I was doomed by the start. I was a freshman in high school. I'm 13, 14 years old.

I had pretty much no signs of puberty yet, right? Not a hair on me. Voice hadn't changed. I looked like a little kid except i had massive calves and when we sat in gym class we'd all be on the basketball court sitting you know you sit like you're sort of feet in front of you and knees bent and while waiting for like class or roll call or something i'd just sit there and i'd wobble my calves back and forth because they're giant and they would swing underneath like like back and forth and they're giant and they would swing underneath like back and forth.

They're like my only good body part. And some pretty girl goes, Ew. Oh, that's brutal. You took that away from me. What a cunt. Undercut you. It's funny how things like that stick with you.

It was maybe the worst response you can get in any even to this day ew is brutal so uh before we jump to the next thing we're gonna hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors uh smart mouth everybody hates talking to someone with bad breath that humid awful smell keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave now just think of all the times you were the gross smelly one and the other person was thinking about trying to get away. You probably can't think of any examples. That's because we rarely have an accurate read on our own breath odor. In other words, you could be walking around with trash mouth, not even realize you're grossing everybody out. That's why smart mouth was invented. Smart mouth's clinically proven two liquid formula

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Check them out click on the links make us look good yes yes clicking on the link does make us look good I just bumped my microphone with my now e-cup tits she went on besides as I went off camera

in the black color I couldn't even oh now I can tell is that e you said? Yeah, this is like E. I think that... It's like there's weight now. Now I want to sit like this. If I move any amount,

there's like a jiggle to it. Those are the ones that you said just stick to you, right? Yeah. How do cup sizes work, right? Obviously, they go A, B, C, D, but then double D's are a thing and e i guess is after double d there's no triple d and then g there is double of everything but double i'm talking on my ass but i think there is double i think there's like double double b double

triple a there's i think there's like um the double of everything but double d is like the people just know it you know like that's that's just the holy shit she's got double d cup tits you know like uh double c kind of sounds a bit weird there's also a ddd apparently triple d and that means at that point when i just go to e singly right because the like there's a noticeable change between like oh it's gotta suck that's like getting it like a b plus you know like one step off uh but yeah there's such a notable difference i physically can't put my arms here anymore by the way like that's the size of that uh like um but there's like a size difference between a b you you can tell it's a significant difference so i imagine yeah there's a scale as well A and B. You can tell.

It's a significant difference. I imagine there's a scale as well. Because you've got to get a bra that fits. Now, Kyle, you just returned. Finn just put in some E-tits. Oh, my. Yeah. We were talking about how the sizes work and what the biggest one is.

Because it goes past D. I just read how cup sizes work, and I still don't get it. I think that the biggest size is because it goes past d yeah i just read how cup sizes work and i still don't get it i think that the biggest size is triple h like the wrestler i hope he named himself i swear you could get like zed right because there's those women that went on the news and they've got like their entire upper body is just the cleavage formed from it have you seen it it's like a being like on camera when they cut to like the close-up that's like this right it's just like hips and up it's still all it's all you can't see the bottom

of them it looks really odd yeah this is bizarre it's's too much. I'll say that. These are double H. Double H. Let's take a quick look-see at the double H's. What's that? Damn. You can just buy some and look at them

yourself. You can become them. Yeah, that's absurd too much you're a fan well i mean look at the look at the cropping there you think the it's just this area that's being cropped everywhere outside of this area oh well is the rest of it a disaster area no it's great i know Oh, okay. I'm like, Taylor is really committing some faux pas here. No, this woman is atrocious. Trust me.

I thought that it was a cropped picture of just the boobs. I'm pretty sure she's a bird victim outside of the picture. She's one of those lipless bitches. But with teeth, you know. Dinosaurs. She got acid attacked.

This is someone I know. I cropped the picture for purposes of anonymity. OK, well, then I try. I thought it was one of those fool me pictures where it's like, oh, wow, look at that. Oh, it's because it's on a big fat person. It's just two knees together. We've seen those before. I've seen them.

Yeah. I mean, that's like the South Park episode where they need to give the bullies a picture of Stan's mom's tits. And they just take a picture of Cartman's ass in a scoop neck. And they use that and give it to him. That's far too much, Kyle. Have you ever had to give a girl one of those compliments in the same vein of a girl saying, Your dick is the perfect size for me. Have you ever had to, one of those compliments in the same vein of, like, a girl saying, your dick is the perfect size for me. Have you ever had to do one of those?

Like, I've said the words, like, no, I prefer them. They're like a perfect handful. Like, you know, like... Those titties are like this, each. Oh my god.

If you, like you smack one, how long does it take before it stops shaking? Oh. Could you start and stop like a stopwatch on it? They move like this. Stop what sound? I hope everyone caught it. Because it was the key thing.

That's what I think they sound like. I'd do that with my belly. Homer Simpson style To see how much I let myself go I've learned a little bit about bra sizes A 34E is just a 34DD An F is a triple D And a G is a quadruple D

And an H is an H Is there any other metric that's like that? That just For like clothes? What's the point of Like like it's all the french count numbers where like 70 is like 30 10 10 10 like that so the reason for that my understanding is you you do the measurement below the bus line and that's the that's the number so like 32 and then and so and for every inch above that that the the boobs stick out, that's another letter they add, I believe.

No? Yeah, but why does it go like a DD is equivalent to a different letter and not just call it a different letter? Was that what you said? That is what I said. Finn has it right. The letter is the cup size, but the cup size is also proportionate to the strap size. So a 36C and a 34C are not the same cup size, even though they both have the same cup size letter.

It's scaled up. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, I know my bra size. And then I misunderstood what you said. Okay. Your bra size is whatever you want on the day. Yeah, but the cup size isn't consistent. But you said it's just an inch up.

Like, and because the number changes the so does the cup size changes like like a 30 a 32 double d is smaller than a 33 double d that's true it goes in twos and there are there are um cup sizes that are exactly the same for example i have a chart in front of me a 36 b is the same cup size as a 34 c oh but the strap size is different so if you just say get fatter without gaining boob size you'd move from a c to a b oh i get it i feel like i'm doing do you remember doing that in school like a teacher explaining a math problem to you and you're just like, okay, okay. Then you go back and you sit down and you're like,

fuck. That's why I had to go to summer school because I spent a year going, uh-huh. Yeah. Did you go to summer school? Yeah, for algebra one year. I had to go to summer school. We learned nothing there. Algebra one? Yeah. to go to summer school we learned nothing algebra one

yeah yeah i went to summer school it was my first period class and i i was exhausted i would sleep i went with tug mcgraw's daughter to the same summer school we had class together tug mcgraw was a philly a pitcher for the phillies and he was a big deal i think they won uh the fuck is the championship called a penitent but what's world series what i'm going for but a penitent is what they call it i think anyway uh so she was like a big deal but she was i'm calling her a screw-up as we sat next to each other in summer school i was so above everyone else at least that's how i felt she would straight up not show up to class all the time

and be like, I didn't have money for tolls. I remember the teachers like, 35 cents, you're kind of close not having toll money, but that was her excuse. And I think everyone passes summer school. Everyone passed. We did no work in there. It was

scary. It was like everybody in there was a real rap scallion um it was i i want to say i was 15 so my mom had to drive me there it was not fun it was not fun and it wasn't even it was most of the summer i had to be there at that thing learning algebra and we didn't learn algebra that sucks i would not want reminds me, dude, it's the same guy who did the fire poi and tied my, my shoelace to the other guys, the same guy in eighth grade. Uh,

when you graduate from middle school, everybody got their diplomas that said like, so-and-so graduated from blah, blah, blah. And he was like going around laughing, showing us his diploma that just said, uh,

thank you for participating in the eighth grade. And cause he didn't graduate. He had to do a whole nother, like, I think they, his diploma that just said uh thank you for participating in the eighth grade and because he didn't graduate he had to do a whole nother like i think they and i think most schools do this well like if it's a really really shitty kid they don't want you like fucking with their test scores or anything they will make it borderline impossible for you to get held back they'll just be like no no he he fully understands that he just uh he's not a good test taker that part about uh just displaying what knowledge you've gained he's bad at that i don't remember what comedian had that joke about like oh you're a bad test taker you're bad at the thing where they measure if you've learned

yeah yeah i think that might be bill burr yeah that's like every that and uh have you ever gotten the he's smart but he doesn't apply himself thing oh yeah yeah yeah i've never heard anybody say that i did you guys all finish school like your um education yeah yeah i dropped out i was you know i started laughing yeah like huh how far did you go in your uk so it doesn't make any sense but how far did you go i'll just use UK, so it doesn't make any sense. But how far did you go? I'll just use ages. I got to the stage before college. I think that's senior year for you. So I dropped out of high school, which is almost, I've heard synonymous of just like, oh, we fucked up. In America, a high school dropout. But I started laughing when you were

like, when you're that bad of a student, they just don't want you anymore because that is the meeting that i because they do like have to check they're not just gonna let you fuck up your entire life because like some kid goes i want to leave like because you when you're in the uk like 16 is basically the age where you're like you can kind of make decisions on most of your life besides like you know voting you can pay i was paying taxes at seven you know like so like taxation without representation but like the uh the meet you had to go to a meeting i had to go to a meeting with my uh like the second head of this uh a level which is what it's called um of like the senior year and that that meeting went far too smoothly for them to think that i was doing well um because i i came in pretty strong i wasn't a terrible student i got all c's and b's in the level before that

just oh it's just not bad right right right like it was enough for me to go to a decent school and then as soon as i got in school we had like a i started doing the youtube channel And then as soon as I got in school, we had like, I started doing the YouTube channel, uh, the Minecraft stuff. Uh, and I ended up dropping out when I was at like,

this is so dumb. I ended up dropping out at like 20,000 subs, which is. We're there. That's risky. Yeah. You're betting on yourself, but you're a long shot.

Yeah, definitely. Uh, cause the second, the second head was like, I'm making $25 a video, I'll have you know. I'm not attending school. And this is guaranteed income.

It was forever. I remember it was $75 a video. It's not that much higher. Yeah, that wasn't bad. It's pretty good. Better than Paramount videos. But there's got to be an alternate reality where if you kept up WoodyCraft,

we would have worked together. Oh, that could have been. You know when YouTuber server deals and all that? Uh-huh. This is an area that only me and you can play the way. Yeah, people would pay content creators to play on their server because they bring their fan base to it too or just advertise

or whatever. It was a win-win. The servers got set up so you could make money through it and all that. I played on WoodyCraft. I wasn't necessarily... I must have been quite young but maybe like 13

or something. A bunch of faction servers and now I still do that. Do you remember the controller? Yeah. Yeah. The head, the lead of that server now works for us. Oh, really? Yeah.

He's a great guy, by the way. That's cool. When we first started, controller was a gunner gone. I forget. It was gun troller. They were like the titans of factions when and then woodycraft had its moment in the sun where we were the titan of factions oh do you remember all the like do you ah there was this thing you ever seen um raid edits or like

for everyone else it's really similar to like have you ever seen those videos on twitter or instagram where like someone will like put their favorite celebrity to a bunch of music and cut between photos of them it's like a cutesy little thing um for like 13 year old girls raid edits were the same way but for like edgy 16 year olds where they'd put like raiding this minecraft base blowing up someone else's like stash to like hardcore rap but i used to like that used to be the scene like that used to be and it got so awful like people would like people would like dox people they'd send what they'd swap people in minecraft like well you know not swap people you know they swap people over the game yeah yeah dude that is play are you not aware of the

shit that happened on woody craft like so i am but i don't know how much i don't know about woody craft but i know i'm a server and i know the shit that gets spread around i didn't know if we can talk about a lot of it the some of the ones i like to mention that are funny funny i hate to say that but like okay of course there's normal stuff like sending pizza, doxing your parents, right? That's a spot of vulnerability for you, perhaps. Not you, but, you know, my opposition. Yeah, yeah. If I want to get to a 15-year-old, I don't say his social security number online.

I say his mom's social security number online. But they were sending not just the police to people's houses, but bouncy castles, a crane for construction. The sailboat was my favorite. How did you send a sailboat? I don't know.

Cash on delivery or something. But they sent a sailboat to somebody's house on a trailer. Oh my God. Yeah. I live in kansas what did you think i was gonna do with um yeah like they're they're basically cyber criminals just playing against each other all the time yeah discord is where now that has gotten a lot worse there was a there was an old server that i used to like it was my first attempt at

owning a server and I didn't realize because there's a lot of money in these servers, like, and it's fierce. It's really competitive, and when you're like, the people that played those servers are now owning them, so the people that were sending boats to people's houses now own and compete

with people that they, like, the people that they don't like are now not just raiding their Minecraft base, they, that like the people that they're, that they don't like. And now not just raiding their Minecraft base, they're like taking away from their money from their, their, their competition. So they did much worse stuff.

Like, um, we had one where, uh, someone sent some very explicit stuff into the discord that like we offered therapy to the person that found it we were like oh my god are you okay to the poor the helper the mod we didn't they weren't paid to see this shit we used to buy credit protection for people's parents because they got their docs went out

and people were opening credit cards and stuff in their parents name and we like look this is something we run into quite a lot these are better protection companies that we've worked with before dragons play is a big part of it sometimes they're woody craft staff sometimes they're players parents you know stuff like that uh there was one i wanted to say shit you got my mind racing on it and i forgot yeah anyway it was it was ridiculous the stuff were there ever like uh like creepy old like pedophile like guys that would come on there that you'd have to get rid of i don't think so but we had a creative server so in a creative server

you would um you get a plot of land and you didn't have to earn all your things, your diamond blocks, whatever. And people would just build magnificent stuff. And Woody crafts, creative server, but was honestly the best in the universe. It was, it was so good.

And we kind of like cheated a little bit by like, if you built something really magnificent, we'd put it closer to the spawn point to sort of raise a stance. And when you first went there um and we'd rotate them all the time you didn't just see some red flags with a strange symbol in the middle yeah yeah yeah there was no like low effort stuff you had to go way out into the distance to find the lower effort builds and sometimes we'd wipe it out if we didn't anyway so uh but what happened was people were like sexy role playing and stuff and there's a minecraft animation just imagine and that's the shift thing as well where they crouch yeah so what

people would crouch and blow each other or just like bend over and like present they do the masturbation thing and it's like so i like wasn't masturbation thing. And it's like, so I like, wasn't aware of this for a long time. Like honestly, sincerely didn't even know this was happening, but there are like sex clubs and stuff. And people are like stripper poles and whatever. And I saw it and I was like,

I'd rather not have known this. So I just kind of buried my head for a while. And then after a while, you know, being an entrepreneur, it's like,'s like all right uh for five bucks you can get married that's good so it's just a strip club with like blocky strippers yeah yeah people you know you can change your skin and you can get in likeinis or whatever. I think we didn't let people have full-on Harry Dicks, but the Borat

costume, you could do something like that. You just have to see a really first-class strip club built in Minecraft. It's better than you might guess with the stage and the fences and all that. There was role-playing happening on the server. I never really liked guess with the stage and the fences and all that um and there were just like like there's role playing happening on the server and i never really liked it because because like you said i i actually

think it was mostly like teenagers exploring online relationships in kind of a healthy way but you don't know who they are for sure right like what if some of these people i don't know but i i don't think they were i honestly don't think they're did they ever for sure right like what if some of these people i don't know but i i don't think they were i honestly don't think they're did they ever try to build like to finn's point did they ever like try and build like hitler's headquarters or something like that like the mussolini uh like face building on there and you're like i don't like it but they got mussolini's face down to the block it's it's perfect something like that i'm like the mussolini's face down to the block. It's perfect. Something like that.

The Mussolini one I may have kept. There are, of course, tons of Hitler references that we delete all the time. You don't want to put too much effort into something like that because the mods take it out, or I will, personally. Have you ever turned on Social Spy? Do you know what I mean by that command?

What does it do? social spy is a command that admins can get on minecraft that i don't think has quite the level of power in any other video game where it's a command so minecraft has like a messaging system and social spy filters all of it to you and you can see everyone's conversation happening at once. And there was a server that I, Oh, you see some shit though. It's never,

it's, it's in Minecraft. So it's not like they, they can't send links. They can't send pictures, anything like that. It's just words. Always.

There's nothing else you can get from it. But I had admin powers on this other random server and it's all e-dating and the most cringy shit it's 13 year olds fumbling around trying to say oh your your blocked hits look so great today it's so bad but it's so fucking funny yeah that's good for kids development right yeah no like be sincere like i don't know like on one hand like because this happened on my server like it was 13 year olds fumbling probably maybe even 15 year olds fumbling a little look our minecraft population isn't the don juans of the world um and they're

just sort of fumbling amongst each other knowing each other and. And I don't know. It didn't strike me as evil evil. It was just clumsy flirting. Yeah, it just sounds kind of cringy and silly. But I mean, you're 13. Everybody's cringy and silly when they're 13. When you move away from hyper-competitive game modes, it just becomes Minecraft. Like, there's really not a ton you can do. I think Factions was

a special case. That's why I wanted to mention it first, where it's just like... That one's just like any competitive game mode. It's like how CSGO or Rust, you can really start shit-talking, and you can do some crazy shit. Yeah, and the raid videos were neat. I wish more people understood the beauty of these

raid videos, the engineering that goes into it. I used to make them. I did, like, Cinema 4D for it. I had up to a point... I've been surpassed. I think at a point in my career, I made the absolute peak of them. Like I was like tracking, like 3D tracking. I'd spend weeks on these two minute videos.

They were pretty good. Let me tell this story. So WoodyCraft, one of the things I felt like we did better than other servers, we held events, right? So we do these special things where you get prizes at the end of it. Sometimes they were silly, like mini games. Sometimes they were faction things where maybe we'd admin in an impossible to raid base. And then whoever gets in would get good prizes. Often like, I don't know, hundreds of dollars at the Woody Craft store.

Like things that you might want as a teenager who plays there and uh this one faction spent like like they were prepping for days and understanding there so they came in with their act together and they built their their canon to launch tnt across the map and it was a amazing feat of engineering that was a really big deal. And they had been working on it for like, I don't know, four hours online and then days ahead in advance. And my son walked up to the cannon and they let him like mill around because he's famous on the server, Colin Pirate. And he pressed their cannon go button and blew the whole thing up oh my staff wanted to quit over it my fucking staff like the people that work there didn't want to be associated with us anymore um they got very mad at colin and he was very sensitive and it was just a button it was a button, and it might have even had a sign that said, do not press.

Oh, no. I had to press that button, too. I mean, you think it's going to be like a little bit of confetti or something silly. Do not press. And they were really, really mad. I think we made it right with giving them the winners.

You can make that right pretty easily. I can imagine if something like that happened in Rust. Yeah, very parallel. I used to play with a bigger group of guys who some of them were just kind of into Rust. It was like, oh, hey, yeah, this is the flavor.

They would come and play with me on the flavor of the week game or whatever. If they're jumping into PUBG and they do poorly, who cares? cares you're gonna play another one after this and then they'll go to bed we'll get somebody who's a little better i don't mind losing i'm getting my kills i'm having fun but in rust it's like now you've got a couple knuckleheads on the team that don't really understand the value of stuff and like i remember one night we had been grinding so fucking hard it was like day two of wipe. I was like, I got to go to sleep, guys.

I've got to get... I'll set an alarm. I'll be up in five hours. I'll be back. And we can get back to work. I think it was during the Easter event. So that's the time of year this was. And two of them were left. And closing your doors is a big deal in Rust. Each door requires X amount of explosives to bypass.

And you build your bases in such a way that it's big spirals of doors, like door after door, after door, after door, make it very expensive to get in and time consuming. And, and, uh,

they left all the doors open except for the front door. And so these fucking, I, I logged back on after my little nap, I just had a bad feeling and they've blown one door off its hinges which is like not a big deal to do and they've stolen all of our shit that was on like the first floor which was like not our creme de la creme gear or anything but like all of our wood all of our like stone like the stuff that takes like like three

or four hours worth of work easily had been like stolen from us and we had almost lost the whole base because the enemy had weren't there because they were taking the loot back to their house to like stockpile it they were coming back for more so i quickly i quickly slap a door down and then these three guys walk up like hey i'm like hey what's up oh nothing just walking by i'm like where you guys what's up? Oh, nothing. Just walking by. I'm like, where do you guys live? Oh, just right over there. Where are your neighbors? Nice to meet you.

And I'm like, I know. I know. It's them. We got a revenge. It took hours to get our revenge. We ruined their entire white for them. We raided their base slowly while they were inside of it. And then like.

Who were your teammates? Oh, everybody. Like everybody that i've ever played with like like scum and midi and uh and class and like all those guys i don't remember who exactly they're all gamers i'm just wondering kyle has like two rust friends that are like yeah yeah you know mike tyson and evander holyfield we like to go and run street fights yeah that's that's timu and uh paris like if i really actually want to play like some legit rust i go pick up timu and paris and like they're like no joke like some of the best in the world like like they're incredible there's maybe no greater stress you can put on someone in rust than like an overwhelming force

raiding a base and the people are in there the pure hell that they're going through when they know everything they're like panicking can we get it out no we can't get it out fuck what do we do patch the walls shoot shit back at them that you're dying immediately it's it's really something getting online rated rating to have that in call of duty i loved it like i play solos maybe get verbally verbally bullied by a guy or two and it's like optic big timer and uh rambo they're picking on me can you you guys admit it and uh like all right now i know i've got my friends with me let's play again that was yeah yeah it like we last time i played with those guys like pretty much every time i've ever played with those two guys plus like you know

maybe one or two others we just kind of take over the whole server and i'm not doing a lot i'm not doing the heavy lifting they are but but just like listening to their call outs is so fun because like every now and then i'll be like i got one headshot dead you might hear me say that every like five minutes but like timo will be like he doesn't talk because he's from uh oh timo listens now i'm sorry team i don't remember what weird country you're from maybe some baltic nation or something i don't know he's he's got an accent but he speaks very good english but he'll just be i see one dead two more both. Both dead. Headshot dead. How many have you killed? Six. Seven.

Eight. Rust. There's on the oil rig, there are cameras placed on it and you can install this viewing station in your base so you can remote view around this area from your base. I'm there giving call outs, watching team who fight an entire team of people Like six guys who were like trying to like come up and like take this thing over and but he's up there and hit this weird

glitch spot just And it's just he's just killing them all it's every time I watch him play. It looks like a rust montage He's so goddamn good. It's so fun to watch those guys play. It's remarkable how competitive people can get over strange things, over strange games, I guess. I wrote down something I wanted to mention in Minecraft, that factions thing. I met a guy that set an alarm up

so that he would wake up. He would go to school, and if that alarm goes off, he would leave when a raid was happening. He'd get to school and if that alarm goes off, he would leave when a raid was happening. He'd get spammed on his phone, he'd leave and he'd come back to defend it. There's a WAV file on your

computer that sounds like TNT. It goes... We had players that would replace it with an alarm clock. So it would wake them up at night when their base was being raided. the the low-tech way to do that in rust is you can just put your character to sleep you can just kind of like without killing him um and uh and so you're sort of spectating your sleeping body and you can hear the noises around you so you just put set it to speakers in your room or whatever and turn it

loud as fuck and a raid is the loudest thing in the game like c4 and rockets they're the loudest sound files in the game they're incredibly loud and so like that would wake you up but now like rust is so good the dev team they've they they introduced an app for your phone and these sensors that you can install in game in your base that'll send you like an alert to your phone you're getting raided it's like it's like a raid alert and so you just get a text message like raid alert and from wherever you are or whatever you can just get back in game and defend that's such a woody crash so that right so that players wouldn't just like never log out like that because we didn't have that much service. We'd only have a couple hundred players on a game at a time.

So if you didn't move or anything for 15 minutes, we'd boot you. And these players would make these elaborate MC Escher waterfalls that would have them going in a circle the whole time. Oh, God. It's just the anti-AFK pools and and everything they got so inventive with that because as a server you can track when just a player is doing that and then they started using pistons that would like they had a random generator yeah oh my god people do the most crazy things now that like servers have picked up a lot like my servers got like we peaked at like

3 000 people on a game nice nice yeah so like we we can handle a good amount of players but we still have afk kicks and all that people 3 000 people on one game mode we can we can have 10 uh we like 10 000 in a single uh jvm because what we did the same thing that hypixel do i don't know if recently how into minecraft you are now But what happens is you go certain piece of the world and the dev got so smart. He's so talented He lives in his room coding and then you as soon as you walk past a block You'll teleport into a different part of the world, but it's seamless

It just moves you from one bit of the server to the other so like Technically, I think that I don't know enough about it to explain but like each thread is a different thing and there's like you can hold like 50 people on each thread and then it's just spread out across those lava flow properly across those yeah it's fine it's literally just player position for it even lava flow and such everything and well if you wanted what we do so we have have a prison server and a skyblock server. And skyblock's easy to do that with because they're wholly separate things.

And prison, we set it up really smart where you had to go somewhere to a mine that's not spawn. And it's basically a skyblock island with a mine on it. So it's just really hyper-efficient. And then we've had like... People in the industry have said that it's a pretty common thing now, but maybe 10 servers have it.

But everyone kind of knows about it. It's a lot of work to do. What's your server? Do I get some free promotion? Yes, of course. I'm sure this is the prime demographic. We have a server called MC Prison and one called Skyblocky.

You'll know the owner, actually. This guy called Serene. He ran Arkham. Oh, I know of. I don't think I know. We're not friends or anything, but I definitely know Arkham. I think I've talked to him before.

I'm sure if I messaged him now, he'd say, I need Woody. talked to him before. I'm sure if I messaged him now, he'd say, I need Woody. Everyone knew Woody Craft. Because he was in the same era. We were talking about how the shady players became server owners and now they're shady server owners. There was another server owner that couldn't bypass our DDoS protection. So he bought a server at the same location you know location in the cloud as us and

ddos us over the land like from server to server instead of over the internet he just did it right inside the same building jesus christ that's insane good lord i was just looking at a... I was just looking around. I saw that show Squid Game. You know that little card they have that has a number on it, like a phone number? Apparently they didn't even check. That's some dude in Korea's phone number, and he's been getting

tens of thousands of calls from people. I always imagine there's like like a barrier when they do phone numbers and tv shows and movies yeah right like that's come on it's netflix you've got to make that a number and then have it like be a directory or something like you can call them and then they say like fucking the magic hotline's down right now call back later you know something like that yeah yeah i can't like uh maybe the matrix or someone did that it was it was a cool little promotional thing if you if you called it you got like a little a little easter egg

but almost everybody does like 555 because it's a non-existent area code oh really yeah 555-1212 is the phone company. That's the only thing. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's information, right? Information for different... You know how you dial 411? Yeah. You get information locally. You can do 555...

Like, 609 is an area code. 609-555-1212 will be 411 for that area code. You know, I haven't even thought of 411 as a number you dial since so long. I just think of it as like an internet acronym or something, like LOL. Right. But yeah, and I bet a lot of our viewers who are younger than us don't either because it's like back in the day, kiddies, you would pick up the telephone that was hooked into the wire of your home

and you didn't know the fucking number to like the CarQuest parts store three towns over, but you wanted to find out if they had a carburetor for your 67 nova and you would dial 411 high information yeah it's it's a car quest in commerce georgia one moment and they would ask if you wanted them to dial the number for you or if they wanted to read it out to you and they would connect you it was right but if it's not so goddamn long if it's not three towns over and it's three states over you dial 609-555-1212 and ask information over there do people still use those i bet boomers probably i doubt i bet it's uh automated now i bet it's all voice

recognition yeah people still use aol i imagine people using it it. Touche. It's true. An AOL, an AltaVista email account. Every now and then I get an email from someone with Yahoo.com. I mean, I still have my email. I'm pretty sure I have a Yahoo account. I have my first email. Does Yahoo even exist anymore? I want to say Yahoo Finance is one of the better ones. Someone's going to call me a boomer for saying that i thought yeah i want to say yahoo finance is one of the better ones someone's gonna call me a boomer for saying that but i think i don't want

to say what it is um but i have one of the original emails from well i have my original email from the year was either 1999 or 2000 was when i made my first email account. I've still got that one. It has tens and tens of thousands. I'd rather not. I'll tell you. It has tens and tens of thousands of unread messages because back then I just clicked everything and gave it out on all. I didn't understand the ramifications

of doing such. There's so much junk in there. Type it in. I want to know the domain. It's not like one of the old goofy ones but it's this ah yeah yeah that still exists every saw yeah i've got one there i was gonna say every so often you're required to use it for this or that but yeah i've got a very old one of those as well but i couldn't tell you the password if you had a gun to my i bet i've got doesn't everybody have like a dozen email accounts that they just forgot about or they just use to sign up for

things they don't want to get harassed by oh i you always mean to be like this is my one bullshit burner email account passwords convoluted and then the next time you need another way to make another one it's like this is my true pure account that i don't tell everyone about and then four years later it's like i've told too many people about this one whenever you want whenever you want a bullshit one that you can just put in to like bypass whatever like nonsense there's like a i don't know what it's called but you can google it you find it google like temporary email and like it's just a thing you copy paste in oh really it just gives you like a free fake email that will process that's cool

how do you get the code they send you i don't remember but it works okay i think it might give you temporary access or something like like and then like mail.org i'm seeing one oh this is great yeah i've got mine in like a tier system of the most bullshit to least it's like the absolute dog shit ones like that that should really be on a temp email and then it goes up to like you know i keep stuff on here that's like like if someone like you get a like on youtube or something like that it goes to that you know something like that and then there's the next one that's like it's like a uh like if i've signed up to some subscription service that's where all the emails go and then there's like a more personal one and a business one and stuff like those it's like a tier list and then all the same password password. Well, boys, it is.

Let's see what the old ticker says. It's close. What are we looking at? A ticker? Countdown to freedom. I'm vicariously excited for my friend Kyle. I'm so excited for him. I was on the WhatsApp today.

What is today the day? Did it happen? I felt guilty like I missed a birthday. I wouldn't be here. I Like, what is today the day? Did it happen? I felt guilty. Like, I missed a birthday or something. I wouldn't be here. I mean, I'd be here. But, like, here would be in Colorado. You'd be on the plane.

I mean, maybe. If Freedom Day was this morning, you'd probably wait until tonight or something. No? Really? But you have to travel. You have to. It's a three-hour flight. Got a podcast today. I'd be here to do the show,

but I'd be doing it there. I'd have made it happen so that I was there. You'd have figured it out. You mean if it was like in two hours? Oh, I'd do the same thing. Even that, you'd probably leave after the show. Yeah, the real challenge is

if it was right before the show somehow. Yeah, I can't leave the state until like the ticker clicks over or whatever um but uh but yeah it's like a day and two hours right a day and two hours yeah one day one hour 57 minutes exactly i wanted to ask you some about that like like just kind of recapping all that is your current mentality like finally this is up or is it like well obviously it is but like do you look back and kind of think how did i get through this like how did how did i buckle down and just grind this for so long because i'm sure looking back it's it's a percentage of your life like

it tends to be a grind it's been such a grind when such a grind when was the day at the post office do you know that date oh i don't remember we looked it up the other day um it was early 2018 late 2017 it was a long time ago yeah yeah yeah maybe early 2018 yeah you can find it pretty easy um it's uh it's been four years ago almost i would say what was the most dip i mean obviously the prison part but like as far as the waiting part like what was the most difficult was it the very beginning where it's like this is an insurmountable amount of time i can't fucking believe this i can't even get high or was it like two months to go you can sniff it and it's oh times in slow motion i mean i put the timer on my phone like back in january or something like that like like i the timer started like 250 days

or something i don't really remember exactly um but but yeah like and and just just looking at the timer slowly ticked down from 250 days to like four months three months two months one month has been has been just a real fucking grind yeah over 10 of your life has been lived under the cloud of this fucking yeah oh my god raid yeah it was 2017 august 2017 and k Kyle's 39 years old. It's been a while, man. It's been a while. I'm so glad that it's just on the cusp of being over. I'm so happy for you, man.

Oh, it's going to be great. I've got the whole thing. I know what I'm doing Saturday. I'm flying in, heading down the Telluride, getting in the fucking house. I've already talked to the homeowner. I know when I'm getting able to – I can't get into the house as soon as I could because somebody is staying there right now. But as soon as the cleaning is done – so I found a place that I can stay and smoke weed during the interim.

I found a pot bar where you can – you buy your weed at a dispensary, take it in there, and you can smoke it indoors. But you have to use vapes or nails, so you can do dabs and stuff. I've been to one of those. They sell pastries too. Yeah, yeah. They sell all sorts of stuff. Regular pastries or like?

Yeah, regular pastries. You go next door and get some weed pastries no like this place that sells zero weed it is only a place for you to legally smoke what you've purchased somewhere else so a lot of times it'll be like in denver when i go there visit my cousin it'll yeah literally it'll be the weed store and then there's the little uh coffee store yeah and you just go over there and you can buy coffee or you can buy pastries. I know the place you're talking about. You're talking about the coffee joint.

Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, you're talking about the coffee joint. That's got to have a funny name. What are you doing for a car? Oh, you just rent one, right? Well, okay. So when I rent a car, maybe I do it dumbly. It's like as expensive as the room. It's kind of a big deal.

And you were talking about staying for a month. And I'm like, shit, I think my dumb ass would spend $1,500 on that car. No car. No car. I'm going to Uber. Uber type stuff. And just split Ubers and get everything delivered. Like, you know, I can just switch my Amazon address to the house.

I've got Instacart. I've got like for groceries and stuff. And you can't get weed delivered in Denver. So like we will have to like Uber out to do that. And if we are for our activities, like everybody's talking a big game right now about all the things they want to do. I'm sitting there like if we do one of these things, I'll be shocked because I'm going to be comatose. I'm going to be so goddamn high the whole time. And they all are like none of these guys have gone on a vacation with you.

And when you think Kyle is exaggerating, when he says, I want to do nothing, he is not, he wants like, like if you bring something up, like it could be anything you want to go out to dinner. The thing about that is Taylor,

they don't play trailer park boys at restaurants and I'm high as shit. And also Taylor, we can't play magic there. I'm like, alright, well, I guess I'm in for staying in the house for the fifth day in a row. Yeah, I don't usually go out very much. I think I will this time just because I have such a big, diverse group of guys.

The activities on the itinerary include and again, if more than one of these happens, I'll be shocked. One of them wants to go fishing, and I'm just like, that ain't happening. Horseback riding, ATV rentals, skydiving, motorcycle rentals. Scum wants to go to a very fancy restaurant. That's not doable. Yeah, you can go to a nice restaurant.

That'll probably happen. They don't play Trailer Park Boys at fancy restaurants, Taylor. But you can go to that'll probably happen they don't play trailer park boys at fancy restaurants taylor but you can just get your head in the game just get stoned as shit and like walk in and like slightly scared mode and by the time you're sitting down you're going to be in prime munch you know yeah i could just i'll go into a restaurant with my vape at this point i'll just go into the bathroom and get top up you know uh so so yeah like they want to do a whole bunch of activities but i have i have a whole playlist of like stone songs that i've got that i've been building for the last month read a couple read a couple off of it oh my my music taste is lame but uh it's

enjoy the silence by depeche mode take me to church by hosler uh float on by modest mouse uh i like that's a good paper planes by mia uh life on mars david bowie uh power by kanye west by Hosler, Float On by Modest Mouse. Paper Planes by MIA, Life on Mars, David Bowie, Power by Kanye West, White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane, which is one pill makes you larger, one pill makes you small.

Live and Let Die by Wings, I Do Anything for Love by Meatloaf, Bad Out of Hell by Meatloaf, Hurricane by Bob Dylan, Psycho Killers by Talking Heads, and it goes on and on and on. I was waiting for the Ramones. I want to be sedated. 20, 20, 20, how much did I go?

Is it worthy? No, he's a Meatloaf man. No room for the Ramones on the Meatloaf playlist. Hang on, let me see. I don't know much about music because I don't really listen to music, but I do like Modest Mouse. It's a very chill, good stoner band. Maybe that's not cool to say. I don't know.

Is that not a cool band? I don't know. I like it. I added a couple. I only listened to the coolest music, Taylor. I can't be bothered with that. I only listen to what I personally am recommended from high schoolers. So I'm always on point. I've we've been,

we've, we've got a whole like discord to like figure out what movies to watch. Like, like we've got like a gigantic list of movies I want to watch. Now, what's a couple of the top ones? You're ready. Oh,

so you got to keep in mind, these are movies that I think will be fun high. So like not necessarily good movies, but movies that will be silly with a group of guys while we're stoned. And some of them are like so bad, it's good movies like The Room by Tommy Wiseau. Flash Gordon, the original with the terrible special effects. I haven't seen that. Flash! I love that song.

Yeah, right? Please, just the soundtrack. I love that song yeah right he's like riding that silly sky scooter of the universe i think it's great um um hey i've got a let me just pull up the the whole list yeah i i some of them i i i like my suggestions i ignored everyone, I, some of them, I, I, I like my suggestions. I ignored everyone else's. And some of them are new that you just have purposefully put off until you can smoke,

right? Annihilation with Natalie Portman. Um, it's supposed to be pretty, looked pretty trippy to me. So I've been putting it off. Um, so I'm going to watch that.

Um, see, these guys have been filling my movie suggestion thing with nonsense. Samurai Cop. Samurai Cop, that's a very bad movie that's so good. Troll 2 is so bad

that it's good, and it has a cult fan base where there's meet-ups and group watches and theaters and stuff. Mandy, I want to see that. I know Woody doesn't like it, but, I want to see that. Um, I know what he doesn't like it, but it's going to be so fucking trippy high with the colors and the, the scent music princess bride.

Um, I like that. I like Ted. I like the first Ted movie, uh, pineapple express. Uh, I liked the,

the dread movie, not the Stallone one, uh, the Carl urban one. Um, it's very old. And like most people have seen it so much. They don't want to anymore, but, uh, the Carl Urban one. Um, it's very old and like most people have seen it so much. They don't want to anymore, but,

uh, super bad. I remember watching that in college and getting stoned to shit. Really liking it. I like super bad a lot. It is on the list. Honestly. Um,

it's, it's one of my favorite movies of all time. It was so funny. This first time I saw it. Um, I'm hoping it holds up. I haven't seen it in a while. Definitely gonna watch some trailer park boys. Uh haven't seen it in a while. Definitely going to watch some Trailer Park Boys.

Yeah, there's a bunch of them that are on my – I've been adding them to my list on my Amazon Fire device because I'm just going to bring that and plug it into the system. But, yeah, a bunch of movies like that. A lot of So Bad It's Good. 2001 A Space Odyssey. Stuff like that. Movies with trippy visuals. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

I don't like that one. I also didn't find it very funny. Dazed and Confused. Anybody? No? I know a lot of people like that one. Is that the one where he's like, the thing I like about high school girls

is I keep getting older and they stay the same age. I enjoyed that one. That's like a pedophile thing to say. It's very much so. And in that movie, it's like, damn, you're supposed to be like, damn, this guy is cool. There's a scene where this guy gets kind of bullied

and he decides to confront the bully because he doesn't want to live with the introspection or self-judgment that he bowed down to the bully. And I'm like, I like that guy. I like that guy. He's like,

you know what? It's not that he wanted to do this is that he didn't want to live a life where he didn't. So he fucking bought the McConaughey character. No, it's a nerdy. I didn't think so. You know,

McConaughey is talking about running for governor of Texas. Really? He's leading in the polls. That sounds like a fantasy. Like at the governor of Texas.as really he's leading in the polls that sounds like a fantasy like at the governor of texas yeah is he popular so the governor of texas is doing all this stuff around abortion right now it's great right yeah he's made abortion effectively illegal it's i guess roe versus wade somehow stops the government from enforcing abortion so he passed a law saying that you as a third party can sue anyone and win

for 10 grand if they have an abortion. So all the abortion clinics except one have shut down. And then he made, I think the day after pill illegal or something like I'm close. Yeah. Really? That was the thing. That's because the thing about the law isn't that abortion is illegal.

It's that it's a six-week limit like except like six weeks most women like that's not really giving a six-week window it's giving like a two-week window yeah yeah if it were for time just right then you wouldn't notice for for um you'd only have two weeks lead time if it was like right at the if you just had had your period and then you got pregnant you'd only have two weeks lead time. If it was like right at the, if you just had had your period and then you got pregnant, you'd be expecting your period, you know, within four weeks later, but you're pregnant during that four weeks.

And then you have best case scenario. You get two weeks. Well, worst case scenario, you get two worst case scenario. You get two weeks either way. That's fucking stupid. I don't like that.

So getting rid of the morning after pill. I can't believe that. What I'm reading about that. I may have it wrong. They're saying there's confusion about whether or not he got rid of the morning after pill? I can't believe that. What I'm reading about that, I may have it wrong, they're saying there's confusion about whether or not he got rid of the morning after pill. So maybe what I read was wrong, or I'm not sure. I hope, I don't want to get into it.

I think what it is, is there's confusion as to whether the law could be interpreted as covering the morning after pill, and I don't think it could because the whole thing is the six-week notice. I don't think anybody, I don't think you could, I don't know what happens if you're six weeks pregnant and you take the morning after pill that you're you're six weeks pregnant it doesn't do anything yeah i don't know anything about all

that but um uh i'm i'm not a vagina doctor i think they say 72 hours on the box and like every day you wait it's less effective like you're supposed to do it like the morning after yeah that makes a lot of sense since they call it that um but but yeah uh i think they're trying to institute a similar situation in georgia i heard something on the radio about that the other day uh they usually call it like a heartbeat law or something like that i think if you're like a pro because because i don't know i think when people hear heartbeat they maybe that's the instead of being like for gun control you're pro gun rights you know there's two sides of the same coin but in any case when does the kid get a heartbeat six weeks about six weeks yeah a better it's pretty one would be brain activity right because you can have a heartbeat

and still be dead they don't use the heart i think think, to measure if someone's alive or not. I think I read that. But I feel like we're talking about whether a kid's viable at all. Brain activity is... There'll never be a viable kid that doesn't have brain activity yet. This is interesting. It's the end of week five and into week six, the first

electrical brain activity begins to occur. So it seems pretty similar to the heart. I guess that makes sense if you think like if the heart's coming along then like the brain's probably like pacing with it i would imagine gotta tell it what to do i i thought for some oh that's a good point i thought for some reason it was much later like everyone sort of agrees that killing viable babies like the day before they're born is not cool right yeah and not everyone but i I agree. Right. Right. Like if we go all the way to that extreme, it's bad. And I, almost everyone agrees that like the day after pill is not so awful. Even that's,

I think that's even legal in Texas. I'm not sure somewhere in between is where we have to define that limit. Six weeks seems really fast. Um, but if you told me it was seven months or six months i'd be like kids are born at six and seven months like yeah i i could see stopping there for viable babies it's usually the third trimester that they're like nothing after is that everywhere you can't do it i don't know my state and um but so a pro choicer would tell you think accurately, almost all of these kids in the third trimester are not viable babies or the mom's going to die. Right. In the third trimester. And I can say this from experience. You've painted that baby's room. You've bought the crib. You've named it. That's bad. Oftentimes like this third.

No one waits till eight and a half months and then changes their mind. At least I've never heard of that. If there's a third trimester abortion, overwhelmingly, almost always, this is to save the mother, to save the mom, or they've gotten some horrible medical news about this baby. Yeah, like a stillbirth or something. Or it's going to be born with its heart on the outside with no eyes or something yep yep and and you know and this is a kid like i said seven eight months in they were very much looking forward to little baby and uh so anyway the whole third trimester argument against abortion they i feel like they misrepresent their side when they do yeah yeah yeah finsters over there covering up under kyle's under kyle's uh chauvinist gaze

i don't think anyone spotted it when i went like this you can kind of get what i mean when i did this you see what i mean That's what it looks like all the time when I was talking about that trick I could do. Yeah, mush them together. Mush them together. God, that's so unsexy. Mush them. Did you guys see that

Matt and Trey from South Park just put in a $3.1 million offer to buy the failing business Casa Bonita. Yeah, they just bought Casa Bonita. I don't know if Finn is familiar. So there's this restaurant that has Mexican food. I've been to a Casa Bonita many years ago. I think it was in high school. It is a Mexican restaurant, but it has stuff like cliff divers and dancing,

and they throw sopapillas at you, and it's supposed to be a huge event. And it has a really cool atmosphere. It does. I remember the bus for the trip I was on stopped. We're going to Casa Bonita, and we're like, that's awesome. It's supposed to be so cool. And something funny that happened in there is I have a very shy friend. And unlike having a couple people at Chevy's, if that's a national restaurant, come out and clap for you.

Like, happy birthday, happy birthday, enjoy your cake. They have a mariachi band and then a secondary mariachi band. And so 11 people are coming at you just da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It's so loud. And I remember going over and telling them like my friend tim he's such such a great guy he would never tell you guys but it's his birthday could you could you surprise him he's actually at that table over there the one facing us it would be wonderful if you guys could come up from behind him and start playing and i remember just watching

it like you think they know the scoop on this they're not i don't know are they buying your story barely they didn't even respond to me in english like see and then they just went back and i remember like it was like watching the video of the towers fall where i saw all them come behind him and they just they got into like one and he just like turned around and then got up and like jogged to the bathroom. And it was so fucking funny. But either way, the food is reprehensible. It's in its borderline inedible, inedible.

The food is. And they have like a guy cliff diving into a fake lagoon. But it's a cool aesthetic. And there was a South Park about it where Cartman really wants to go to Casa Bonita. And so he lies and tricks butter into thinking there's a zombie apocalypse. Great episode. But yeah, it's a failing business because their food is so bad, and Matt and Trey bought it,

and they're going to try and get it back on its feet. First step, Matt and Trey, I know they're both listeners, redo the whole menu. It's got to be better food. If even the tortillas are bad, you have to go back to Ground Zero and rebuild. Yeah, it's a really good episode uh of south park it's it's one of the earlier ones and it's one of my favorite ones it's i think it's the first

really good butters episode maybe um it's it's good it's either kyle i think it's kyle's birthday and he's like yeah my mom's taking me to casa bonita and cartman like perks up oh yes casa bonita my favorite place in the world he's like's like, dude, you're not invited. He's like, what? Yeah, I'm taking Butters. And so Cartman has to find a way to take Butters out of the picture, so he gets that invite. And it's pretty horrific what he does to Butters. You know,

in the episode, Cartman is doing like the sopapillas, sopapillas, please! Like with a little flag. That's a real thing. You can put a little flag up like it's a Brazilian steakhouse. Instead of delicious meat, though, it's the driest sopapillas on earth. And usually those are pretty good. I imagine those are hard to fuck up. If they take it over and then they do another Casa Bonita episode, they're printing money.

They're printing money. And they'll throw a South Park theme into it, like little i hope it's there i'm sure they will sorry what were you saying i was gonna ask is there like a type of because we're in at least where i'm at there's not a ton of different like different cultures of food there's like where i'm at is it's like indian and pizza that's all you can really find. Like McDonald's and stuff. Is there like a type of restaurant, like a whole class of food that is considered not great?

In the US? Oh, I hate Jamaican food. No. That's really specific. I like jerk chicken. No. I don't like any of it. I hate Jamaican food. You know that Thai oxtail and thai restaurant i love so much that had the human trafficking make the food yeah stuff yeah they

were fantastic um food wasn't good i just really like the process i just liked knowing that there were slaves serving and uh they got replaced with the jama restaurant. I was like, all right, I'll give it a try. Who serves food with broken chicken bones in it? Right? Yeah. That is fair. That's their jam. No, that is one. I was on my honeymoon.

This is dangerous. I was on a honeymoon with my wife, and I'm, like, eating the jerk chicken. And I multiple times have to pull, like, a shattered piece of bone out of my mouth. It's not like they poorly demoned it in my case. It was just breaking the bones and putting like little landmines in your food. I think they just take like the boned chicken and smash it with a big mallet and season it up for you real nice. No, Jamaica food is not good. But America is like the fucking melting pot of the world. So even in my little area, like I'm south of Atlanta,

I have every conceivable kind of food. There's two really nice Indian restaurants, three really nice Thai restaurants, everything. I know that doesn't encompass everything, but everything I can think of, it's off the top of my head. There's a really nice English pub. There's a French market and english pub that there's a french market and tavern um there's just just about anything you can imagine and it depends what

city you're in because like obviously like when people immigrated here they like settled in different places like st louis ryan like there's a huge like alcove carved out of the city where it's a bunch of italians and italian immigrants and their descendants called the hill and they still like you drive around the hill and it's nothing but italian restaurants and like little italian flags everywhere and somehow these fuckers like still have an accent it's like you you've been here for years like do you never leave the hill so italian's good here asian is everywhere you can get good asian everywhere. Mexican is gigantic in like everywhere. I've never been anywhere where there wasn't a ton of Mexican. There's probably more Mexicans where you are than where I am.

So you probably have better Mexican food there. The best Mexican I've ever had was in like the Southwest though. Cause I think the closer you get to home base, like the better the stuff is like, like I ate at this Mexican place once in maybe New Mexico, which can make sense. It was incredible. Actually, no, I take it back. Better than that was LA. LA is the best Mexican food I've ever had. It was like, I tipped them. First of all, it was incredibly cheap. I was about to do an epic

mealtime thing when we did the Star Wars episode, but nobody was there yet. And I had been dropped off by my driver. And so I just walking away from the studio house or whatever we're filming at looking for food. And I walk into this random Mexican restaurant. The entire meal was like $8. And I think I tipped him at least $20. I think it was maybe more. It was so after I ate, I was like,

whoever cooked this, tell them. This is the greatest Mexican food I've ever ever had it was like that scene from um you ever see that johnny depp movie um um where they're down in mexico it's the sequel to the mariachi movie where like um johnny depp says uh he has that same roasted pork dish at every mexican restaurant he goes to and he's telling um antonio banderas he's like and this is the best i've ever had in fact it's so good that after i'm finished with my meal i'm going to pay the check i'm going to walk in the back and i'm going to murder the chef cooked it because the universe needs to be balanced out

this is too good and he does he pays a ton of time once upon a time in mexico he literally gets up walks to the back and murders the fucking chef and walks out the back door what a piece of shit i've never seen that movie but i don't like that he just deprived the whole you know he had to balance the delicious this was too good you know what else is good that like there's not as at least around me there aren't as many there's like a bunch of sushi places around me a bunch of korean barbecue chinese restaurants yeah those like pho like vietnamese i i hadn't even tried that until a couple years ago because i was like pho isn't it just like soup soup's not a meal and then you go there and eat it and it's

like it's like they're carving off the entire belly of a pig and putting it into a bowl for you it's a bowl is so big you can fit not just a human head in it like taylor's it's out yeah you could fit two human heads or half of mine no it is a super big bowl it's a ton of food it's time to drink which i i walk out of there sloshing and um yeah yeah you typically i guess the pho is the stuff they put on the side that's what pho actually is it's spelled pho by the way and it's yeah i called it pho for a long time you would right spelled pho i didn't know pho was the stuff to the side i thought that was the whole meal i could be wrong i've been told that i'm positive. But yeah, it's a ton of food. And if you pair it with... They call it bubble tea.

It's not muddy water like tea. No, no. This is a milkshake with giant pudding balls in it, and it's fantastic. And they give you a straw that's so big you could suck a dick through it. It's fantastic. I mean, it literally is just the sugariest water on Earth

with tapioca balls at the bottom. Mine's more like a sugary smoothie with tapioca balls. It is not good for you at all. I haven't had it in a few years. I only tried it once at like a bubble tea stand at the mall when I was maybe 16, and I didn't like it. It was way too sweet. But that could be because I went to a bullshit mall. We're both in the minority on that one.

I think it's the texture of bubble tea. It's a really weird thing to be drinking a drink and then suddenly, you know, like 10 balls. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Or whatever. It's so weird. I was using a straw, so I was anticipating liquid.

But every so often you get a happy, happy surprise. we are going to slowly murder every american and then we will move in and avenge the vietnam war that we want they're not like bb sized either they're like enough that you could it would if you one went straight down you'd have like a bit of yeah it's like a ping pong ball what is it the size it's like it's like i don't know it's like maybe 50 60 of a paintball if you know how big a pain yeah okay because the straws are truly girthy i'm really curious to see what they serve in an english pub in america I'm really curious to see what they serve in an English pub in America because I can only hope it's just beans on toast

oh my god, that would be so beautiful I would think it would be a burger joint there's always shepherd's pie I heard you shit talk beans on toast, it's undeserved beans on toast is vile you put your silly knife away first of all and second of all, it's vile. I like his knife.

Is it still the bench made you're holding? I'm growing random ones now. He got the knife out like he was threatening me for making fun of his beans on toast. I will. That's what was implied. That's what was implied. He's going to stab you with that practice knife. I'll kiss you right on the lips you come over here with that knife. Talking a lot of shit for someone.

Yeah, you even try it. That'll teach you. And he's going to bend you over. A lot of shit for someone that can't have a knife. Hey, I can't have it tomorrow. I've picked it out. Sorry, we're in the same boat. Yeah, I've never really...

Actually, no. I've been to English places that serve breakfast, and they do the full English breakfast, except that includes beans on toast. And so I've never gotten it because beans don't agree with me. And beans on toast just seems like a soggy mess. It's good. It's really quite nice. I can vouch for beans on toast if there's like you.

They're just really unhealthy. And it just makes like you they're just really unhealthy and it just makes like you put butter on the toast and all that and then you put beans you could have it on the side but that's not the traditional way you really want the the soggy mess of the english breakfast i like the little uh they have like the the tomatoes there i like that sometimes there's mushrooms on there i like that the sausages look really good they have like real sausage casing on them which is good but like the the beans on toast they the english should have just taken a w on having a delicious breakfast and then they throw this absolute sludge in the mix so it might the more i thought about it the more it's like one of those things that

you grow up with because i know that the equivalent is probably like a grilled cheese in america it's like the equivalent level of like everyone knows them it's a staple you know it's the easiest quick meal it's not but do you like grilled cheese you probably had a girl i was i remember the day i was told about a grilled cheese like i was oh i was 17 when i got told that grilled cheese exists yeah grilled cheese sandwich i know you guys conquered the world oh you know you can put the cheese on there instead of putting beans on it you can put cheese on it i remember the day i was talking to a friend where i was like oh and i'm gonna go make a sandwich he's like okay what are you having on the sandwich or cheese he's

like are you making a grilled cheese i know just a just a cheese sandwich like you just you butter bread you put cheese in it then you eat it so you grow cheese it may be a bit of lettuce it's a cheese sandwich yeah what he's making and then he goes what like you put the cheese with the butter on the inside it's like yeah no no you put the butter on the inside? Yeah. No, you put the butter on the outside. And in my brain, that didn't compute. I was like, but your hands... Mayonnaise. You want his mayonnaise on the outside and the inside.

Forget the butter? What are you, retarded? What other backwards advice do you have? Do you put the relish on the outside, Kyle? Forget the butter and order your drugs in the mail. put the relish on the outside kyle forget the butter and order your drugs in the mail you know everybody makes fun of that one time i got caught what about the dozens of shipments that made it in right under the radar you guys have no idea how many felonies i've committed nobody ever talks about that all the times i won right like we're over here fucking undefeated season after undefeated season

we lose one game and all of a sudden what a fool is it not something you'd want to be careful about talking like oh you want to let everybody know it's plausible deniability who would brag about such a thing it had to be a fool like a man that's been to court your honor my client is a if you truly think my client is foolish enough to do something like this then can we really try him as a competent adult man really they could genuinely make a point for this show where they'd be like, your honor, I present to you another truthful section of the show

where Kyle pretends to be a retarded person competing in the NFL. Let's watch. Yeah, that works. That passes muster. Oh, God. Yeah, no, I had a plan. After the TTE. I was totally normal before i got tackled

i don't believe anybody out there who wants to actually make a good grilled cheese it's mayonnaise it's mayonnaise that is the ticket and it's duke's mayonnaise get rid of the butter especially look if you really hate the taste of mayonnaise just put it on the outside you don't have to put it on the inside i always put it on the inside because I love the tangy zip of Duke's mayonnaise. It's amazing. Don't you get it all over your hands by putting mayonnaise on the outside of your sandwich? You grill it. It dries up.

Just like butter would. And it browns. Nothing browns better than the mayonnaise on the outside. So the outside of the sandwich is going to be this golden brown color. If you watch any professional chef make a grilled cheese, if you find Gordon Ramsey making one or something, he's going to be this golden brown color. If you watch any professional chef make a grilled cheese, if you find Gordon Ramsay making one or something, he's going to put mayonnaise on that motherfucker.

Gordon Ramsay makes beans on toast. I don't care. Well, clearly he's retarded at cooking. He can do all sorts of things. He makes beans on toast badly, too. He puts beans in a pan, so they get crisp. Ah, fuck that. Your beans aren't even good you want them

i love beans okay and like southern style barbecue beans are like sweet and spicy with like bits of pork in them they're delicious there's more brown sugar in those southern style beans than there are beans yes true they're so they're so good they can you can smell them from across the household and you're like somebody got baked beans in here they're nice i mean when i eat beans i feel like you know that blueberry girl from willy wonka yeah like i feel so bloated when i eat beans so i just rice can be good beans and rice are amazing what's the brazilian restaurant that has all you can eat they come come around your table and people eat. I can't pronounce it correctly, but it's Fogue de Show.

Okay. They have beans and rice there. And I like it so much that I devote some of my precious stomach space and an all-you-can-eat meat restaurant to beans and rice. It's just very good. That's how they get you. Growing up, my dad grew up super poor. So a lot of his favorite foods are poor slave food.

So he loves cornbread and milk, which is the poorest of the poor things. It's what you do when you have nothing. He likes... Does he like fried bologna sandwiches? Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Your dad and my grandparents would get along swimmingly because they grew up they grew up like barely able to like feed themselves like like um all sorts of like preserves and stuff like that and canned vegetables and shit but um

um pintos and uh cornbread so it's it's literally just like pinto beans and cornbread like mixed together with and uh with like chopped raw onions in there and uh i love that shit like i ate that growing like there would be a my mouth's watering some some families would have like oh it's pork chop night but every now and then my mom would be like you guys want pinto beans and we yes oh yes because like i would just have this big bowl of pinto beans with like crumbled up cornbread in it that she would also make and i chopped the raw onions up in there and you know that uh texas peat stuff that's clear with little green peppers yeah i like pepper sauce i dump so much of that sour spicy shit in there and just eat i would make myself very sick i would eat so much of that i've never

had that but i remember like thinking that fried bologna sandwiches were gross when my grandpa was making one when I was like seven and then I ate one and it was, I didn't know bologna could be so good. Cause I don't know. It's good when you fry it. Like it's just, I just think bologna as a product is kind of gross. Um, but,

but yeah, that, that shit's really fucking good. And, uh, but yeah, like in ham hocks, like,

like when I make pinto beans, I haven't in a while, but last year, one of the things I made when I got out of prison, because I made this big list of foods that I missed, was southern pinto beans. And you take a couple of whole ham hocks, which is like a pig's knees, and you throw them into the bowl of pintos.

And they boil for three and a half, four hours. So by the time you're done, the ham hock is just like giving up all of its delicious salty pork flavor to the beans i'm surprised your your dad wasn't into like fried chicken liver even i love fried chicken liver no i've never heard of him even eating that i don't think they could afford chicken oh yeah when my grandparents were little they had i remember like my grandparents when i was little they would tell me a story about how excited they both were. They were different ages, obviously, but, like, when they got running water instead of having to use an outhouse.

Yeah. And it was like, like, I think my grandma was, like, 16 when they got, like, indoor plumbing. And she's like, and we just felt like we were the queen of England in there. Oh, you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Well, you don't need to go out there and check for for raccoons and and rattlesnakes you just go go pee in the house my family was poor and jackie's parents were but it was a different thing like of course they always had running water they're city people they had running water from the start but they didn't have warm water they only had cold water cold water flat stuff like that and uh it was like a mark of shame though like the people other people had hot water and they

didn't want them to know that there was no hot water where they live like that was the vibe yeah they didn't they never had hot water my my grandpa and grandma would tell me how or no it was my grandma she would be like the way they had to bathe was they had like a big tin bathtub and they would have to like go to the spigot and get buckets of water and like fill it up slowly and by the time it's all full it's i mean it's already coming from a spigot it's not hot but it's like actively cold now and you have to sit there in the yard cleaning yourself and she was like and i was the oldest and so that meant i got to go first and then my two sisters afterward would get to go after me but we use the same water because i'm

not walking back to that spigot 16 times you know it's like that's fucking sucks yeah that was we are so like bed showers cold water showers but if you think about it these people that we're talking about right now eating cornbread and beans and with their cold running water or their buckets of water they could go out and get are light years ahead of the people who came before them. Any of those wonderful things. Y'all got beans?

What is that thing you have there with the water in it? This is a bucket. You know how hard it is to get water back home in a wicker basket? You gotta be quick! My grandpa's family,

they kept a ton of photos throughout. A wicker basket? You gotta run! My grandpa's family, they have photos going back to like the point that they could like afford to get their photo taken yeah and so like there are some like it's pictures like me and my brothers and all of us goofing around and like their family and then like older generations and there's one of like my grandpa's grandpa like on next to like a horse and wagon.

Like and he's like, yeah. And he was a, you know, sometimes they would get involved in a little bit of, you know, roughy news, as they called it. But mostly they would, you know, help volunteer to build railroads. And so they would take that buggy over there and they'd help build. And it was like it was just neat looking at that and being like i don't know what the fuck your name is in this picture i don't know who you are but like you're kind of in my family somehow and similarly as generations past like the only record of me will be me being an absolute retard on this show

for years oh damn that is weird to think about after we're dead this is going to be our legacy oh think about me what the fuck tell my grandkids my grandfather was hot as shit yeah actually your act is going to age really well if I have my finger on the pulse of what the kids are up to yeah we'll all look like Fenster in another five years

I almost had the opposite thought because my thinking was like, sure, it's going to be more in fashion, but it's going to be less of a spectacle because it'll be more common. I guess maybe I'll be out of the job as soon as... I always have this theory that there's got to be a thousand people that would look far better than me, or tens of thousands be millions in the world yeah of course oh you know you're the hottest one here thank you uh

my ego um there's got to be like millions of people that are like would do this a lot better than me but they just won't because of like, because it's so stupid. Like it's so not normal right now. They may just never think it may never cross their mind. Yeah. But like this, if there aren't classes in school, they're like,

Hey, do you want to be an electrician or maybe HVAC repair? I'm going to be a femme boy. Oh yeah. Well head right down the hall to the femme boy class. Some people are going to be like just genetically gifted there was i mean gifted in this in a weird way because like if you kind of go like this guy's five two he's got really narrow shoulders wide hips and his jawline is really not quite there there's a career path lined out but most stuff is not gonna work out for you there and that guy out, but most stuff is not going to work out

for you there. And that guy's going to be like, I don't want to be a fanboy! I want to be an alpha! How tall are you, Finster? Is it difficult to get clothes? I'm like 5'10", 5'11", on a generous day.

That's not girl size, though. That's very tall for a woman. Well, weirdly enough, it's like for a woman well weirdly enough it's like yeah weirdly enough it's like i wear like medium to large in women's which isn't like the worst usually like medium everywhere besides anything that covers a shoulder i think what they need to know here is how much you weigh oh i'm like 70 70 kg now? That's not a number. That's like 160. 165, 170 pounds. Yeah.

It's healthy weight, normal weight. Yeah, that's healthy at 5'11 for sure. Yeah, at 5'11 for sure, but it's on the bigger side for a girl. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, the bone structure and stuff. But he's still got the heavier bones, the bigger shoulder. You got the man weight in there. let's try not to sugarcoat it i'm i've talked to carl about like some stuff i talked to carl about like losing a little bit because i used to be like 60

and i'm still like in a dress i'm still what like skinny but i don't the thing is to look like a woman as a guy you need to to be on a deficit level. You need to be really quite skinny. As a guy, I'm a skinny guy. Like, fairly. As a girl, I have packed on the pounds. You need to develop an eating disorder. You'd be smoking.

As soon as I can look like bell delphine the better oh god how is she doing she's british too mashing it when she first did porn and i haven't heard about her since uh she kind of she takes occasional breaks i think the last time i talked to her was like she was on twitter like uh like the four the fourth month what is that april last time she was online she takes the fourth month, what is that, April? Last time she was online. She takes these breaks and then types everything up when she's back. But she's always active on her OnlyFans

or whatever it is. My god, the day that she followed me on Twitter, and I use Twitter quite a lot, that was a weird fucking day. Because I think my first DM to her was like, I'm not going to ask for nudes i just want to know what where the wig's from and she's really nice about it and she linked it and everything

and we had a nice chat there was a um as we were speaking though so the girl i was talking to at the time the girl was interested in at the time um i i was talking to bell following back and we had a conversation and then it ended with like Bella invited me out for drinks where she lived the girl I was talking to went you are not fucking going you are not going to get off this one yes I am

I do my makeup we're going to have the most successful only fans of all time. That's been a thing that I've asked, been asked of me. Oh, you don't do only. Oh God. No.

Yeah. Did you operate from all of this? Were you operating under the assumption that my dick and balls was somewhere online? Uh, I don't know. Yeah. I mean,

I've been feverishly searching the last 3 hours and 30 minutes we told Woody we didn't want to see Wings Dick every time he sends it it gets saved to my phone again you don't get to choose if you see Wings Dick

I decide that on my own I opened up my photos 3 days ago and I was like fuck again because WhatsApp saves everything wings dick in my fucking i got wings dick and a just glut of shirtless kyle i went to the 50 discord looking for it thinking it would already be there told the boys how disappointed i was in them and they got it in minutes well i didn't think it was cool so i was kind of like like let's not do this guys you know i didn't i didn't i hadn't seen his reaction to it yet when i saw him sort of like being more playful about it and uh

being silly about it i i loosened my thought process about it but like i found out about it while i was streaming and they were like have you seen wings dick and like there's enough of them saying it that i knew it was real but i was just trying to ignore it i was like anyway so uh we're gonna play a little poker uh and it's just like wings dick wings dick all right so apparently wings dick's out there i don't want to talk about that though it's a little fucked up uh i don't know why but i mean if he's like responding now in a more playful like agree and amplify style that's the way to handle something like this yeah probably like agree and ample it's like it's like the to bring up south park again when mr garrison is talking about how to like counteract like cartman be like suck my balls and gary mr garrison be like present them agree and! And Mr. Garen would be like, present them.

He'd be like, agree and amplify, and it shuts it down. So good for Wings for taking a good approach. He could monetize that. I don't know why he hasn't. If it's already out there, surely... Only fans with one picture ever. Yes! Exactly. But how good would that be if Wings had like a whole... He just really went whole hug.

And really broke a whole he just really went whole hug and his wife had an OnlyFans oh it would I would make an account I've never had a parody OnlyFans account I would have to sign up if they started an OnlyFans I would just have to yeah I don't have to you guys are you'll link me the photos I will not no matter how much I don't have to. You guys are.

You'll link me to photos. I will not. No matter how much I tell you not to, Woody will. We're pro-porn stars here, as wings should become. I don't know if you're aware of this, Spencer, but years ago, when he was still on this show, we did one of those... Tonight, we had the discussion.

How much to get breast implants? We did that little thing. We had a similar similar question how much to do a porno and uh we all gave our number or whatever wings number was shockingly low he said five thousand dollars yeah five thousand dollars there's not there's a lot of people that could immediately fork they did immediately immediately like before the next week's show, it had been arranged and set up that he was going to make a porno with an attractive woman. You'd need to pay her more, right?

Shockingly, no. In an instance where he's kind of the draw, I think she's getting that standard like $600 or $800 or something like that that and he would be getting five grand whereas normally it's the inverse right like the guy is getting paid like maybe fifty dollars but you know if you're actually some kind of a draw maybe a hundred a few hundred fan who knew a producer who could really make it happen yeah it was it was ready to roll and uh and he immediately backed out but he he never knows how to like back out

without he always leaves a trace of like oh i don't know about all that it's just like what you need to be is like guys i was joking i thought about this more i can't i can't do that that would be on the internet forever i can't for five thousand dollars it's really not enough i was just joking look i would go the other way be a lie be like you know what I said five grand they tried to come in at four no five is five get off my jock he could have done any of these things but instead he sort of like left this sort of hint of like maybe I will maybe I won't and so it like kept snowballing and becoming this whole thing and uh and of course he didn't do it but but like man maybe that was just a marketing play.

That is what Belle does where she's just like, maybe, maybe not. And then she did it. Maybe it's just waiting for like. I don't believe this was quite as calculated. I don't think Wings knows what the word ploy means. Could you spell it? I can.

Topic change. And you use it in the sands. Yeah, what do we got? John Jones is in a bit of hot water. I'll do my best to lay it out, as usual. Hashtag winner. 80%, right? Hashtag check.

John Jones gets inducted into the Hall of Fame here in Las Vegas. He goes into the Hall of Fame. There's two ways to get in it. One for a career, one for a particular fight. His was for his fight against Gustafson. I can't say it tonight. Gustafson. Gustafson.

That was a fight in which Jon Jones got all coked up, drunk before the fight, had a struggle. It was an epic battle where Jones came out ahead. It was close, but I had Jones winning that. Anyway, because of this fight, he gets into the hall of fame cool afterwards he tells his family tonight is my night this is kind of a big deal for me i'm gonna take ten thousand dollars and go to the club

i hear that i hear strip club because i don't know why you need ten thousand dollars at a dance club but okay even bottle service couple drink that much a couple thousand so he takes ten thousand dollars in cash and goes to the club um while he's gone his family i think this is his wife and a kid if not it's his serious girlfriend and a kid go down to the front desk and they say, can we have new keys to our room? And this is just me talking. I think what they're saying is, can you change the locks on our hotel room? You know, when they ask for new keys so that presumably this is me bridging some gaps here. John can't get back in. The person working the front desk sees her like split open lip and bruised face and says are you okay and someone requests that the police get called his child his child yeah that's right you're right about that so his child says will you call the police all right so the police come in

they see the room they see the woman's bruised face her split open lip and blood all over the bed sheets and they say you know this doesn't look like a good scene john jones gets called or returns back to this place so that maybe the police go to him and he's like how dare you guys fuck with me this is my big day why are you ruining my good time with this domestic abuse nonsense seems like a narcissist perhaps perhaps maybe a little maybe a little and uh as the police try to restrain him he resists arrest uh for some reason he headbutts the car which needs automotive repair afterwards and uh that was the second win of the night the we don't know he might have had three cars in the garage cars still in the garage getting worked on okay when your opponent is in the hospital days after the event

i call that a fucking win i saw john jones in the mugshot his forehead didn't even have a blemish on it girlfriend i bet she still don't look right all right that's win number two if i'm not even counting what the pussy he i guarantee he got at the strip club that night that's win number three i bet her number four he just got inducted into the hall of fame four for four that night and let me tell you the man was looking for five for five because he told those arresting police officers while he was handy handcuffed i bet if you uncuff me i could beat you all down right here. Look at that. He's got a little blemish there.

He's definitely wrong because they have guns. Well, I mean... And tasers. I would put my money on John Jones versus... I mean, John Jones seems arrogant enough to think he can take someone with a gun. Did you say he tried to hit a car? He did hit a car. He head-butted the car.

He did that little mark on his forehead. to hit a car like like he did hit a car he headbutted that little mark on his forehead so he beat a car as well or not he beat that video i just saw of a naked guy running around headbutting a car that was actually john jones no no that was not okay because i just saw okay i didn't think so look the man is a fucking winner he's never lost a fight. He's looking tremendous these days. He's trying to go to 275, which would be godmode if he got to that big. He's talking about cutting to get to 260. Beautiful. He's still –

275 has got to be the perfect size for heavyweight if you're still mobile and fast because you're as big as you can be while not having to do a real weight cut 10 pounds is nothing especially being this early percentage of your body weight you know like 10 pounds to a featherweight is a big deal 10 pounds to a heavyweight is light work calling him the goat is interesting because it's like like we have sports history like The UFC has evolved so much. Eight years ago, they were saying Ronda Rousey couldn't be beat. She was the best of all time.

She's the best. Oh, it turns out she's not very good. You know what's happening? Jon Jones is the best baseball player in 1944. It's going to continue to get more advanced, get better, and in 10, 12 years years they'll look back and be like john jones was great for his era but no he couldn't beat john jones career has spanned four eras though he was the youngest champion ever right like at like 20 or something like i want to

say i want to say maybe champion ever definitely in his day he was the youngest right right has anyone younger since i don't know champions don't tend to be that young. They don't. It takes a while to get a title shot. Yeah. Youngest champion ever. He's had some close fights. His last two fights versus DeSantos and maybe Johnny something

or another. That ugly fucker. I can't remember who the other guy is. I can picture him in my head. The ugly fucker. There was that big fucking Cuban looking guy. He was lightinned who um like ended up blowing both of his knees out in the fight yeah i go santos yeah i go santos yeah yeah yeah yeah you got it um and then there was um the uh the other guy but both those fights were very close and i do agree with woody like it could have easily gone the other way on the judge of scorecards. But this current version of John Jones, who I think is on steroids again and getting fucking huge.

You think? I do think. Name seven telltale signs. Normally big traps. Is anyone dumb enough to get caught for steroids four times though? You see him on instagram with i i don't know if he had two plates or three but he was just like i'm taking all this and i'm putting it into a positive place and he's fucking cranking it out um he looks

tremendous and he looks lean does he look lean he wouldn't put a video of himself up doing he doesn't look like he doesn't look fluffy at all. So I don't know. Who knows how many reps he's doing though, right? He's very long. Very long. Yeah, that makes bench press a lot harder. Yeah. Anyway, it's hard to do bench press when your arms are long.

It's a lot of travel. I wouldn't want to be one of those stubby fuckers, but whenever I see somebody in a video who's got like fucking 12- arms and they're just like 400 yeah think done it how long are your arms kyle do you know um really really long i've never on a bow you know i didn't measure until i got into the i bought an archery bow today but like i i always just because i'm six feet tall and that's 72 inches and so i assumed like, then my wingspan is probably 72 inches. I measured it. It's actually 75.

And so my arms are longer than my body. I didn't know that. And so I had to get like a longer draw bow. Yours are probably like what? Because you're six two. So you're 74 inches tall. I'm trying to think if I have any way to measure. I'm going to go look for a tape measure and like do my wingspan on the wall and make a little mark.

One thing you could do easily is just do this floor to ceiling, stand next to it and estimate. Brilliant. That's actually a much smarter way to do it than what I did. Did you get a recurve bow or did you get a... I bought a recurve bow or did you get a... I bought a recurve bow. So I bought a PSE Nighthawk recurve bow. I went for like 30 pounds, super light. I had a very friendly guy on Twitter.

I want to make sure I got his name right, who was sending me videos and helpful things and like tips about archery which was super kind of him uh ash the deer guy thank you very much i appreciate it and he was telling me like and he basically laid it out he's like you just because you know you can you know bent over row a huge amount of weight if you're a big guy if you haven't done that movement before you need to start low you need to make sure that you're not doing bad form and jerking your back and doing all that and i was like that makes a huge amount of sense so i have the 30 pound bow it's a takedown recurve 30 okay yeah which means that i can remove the the limbs on it and replace it with higher resistance i'm i'm waiting until i feel like my

form is perfect and then i'm going to go up to 50 because like honestly pulling the 30 is like it's unbelievably easy which means it's going to be super comfortable for me to get you know used to the the movements everything and so I'm I'm super excited about that I bought the the PSE Nighthawk 62 inch long bow uh 30 pound draw weight but because it's 30 pounds at 28 inch draw and I'm drawing at a 30 inch draw it's actually like 35 pounds, which isn't a huge difference. And then my wife, who is there with me today, she obviously can't shoot right now or anything because of her spinal issue. But she was was messing around, like kind of semi pulling on it. And she wanted a compound bow because it was much easier.

And so I bought her like a youth uh compound a genesis something like my bow was only like 130 bucks hers was like 160 and it's like a a youth training uh it can go 10 to 20 pounds and that's perfect for her uh so yeah i'm i bought a target i bought the little wrist uh block thing today i got the i don't remember what it's called like the flipper thing i didn't go for the glove i went for like you didn't buy aluminum arrows you pled right i don't believe so i believe i bought the the carbon ones i got a dozen of the the guy was like talking about the arrows and he's like and so what do you want like three of these and i was like i've never done this before give me. He's like, you planning to break a bunch of these? And I'm like,

yes, yes. Yeah. That's, isn't that how you learn archery? And so, and it fucking sucked. I,

my wife and I, we just went earlier today and I was like, like a kid. I was so excited. We're driving to the archery store and I want to get home. I was going to skip my workout today. So all the hours before the show, I could go in my yard and practice shooting my bow. I'm happy for you because adulthood rarely feels like this. Yeah, it feels,

it was awesome. I was so excited. And then I, as we're leaving or as I'm checking out at the archery store, it starts to be like a torrential downpour. And so I'm like having to run the equipment and the target and everything out there. And by the time I get home, everything's so sopping wet and it's still raining. I'm like, I guess I'll just go do pole day and wait for tomorrow. So tomorrow I'm really hoping I can get out there and practice with this recurve bow because I'm looking forward. And it's I was I was doing like the sample draw at the place and the arrow kept coming off the rest because I wasn't because I was gripping it. I was like instinctively trying to grip it instead of keeping my hands apart like you're supposed to.

And so that's going to be a weird muscle memory thing to try and learn because I instinctively want to want to grip the arrow. But if you do grip it and touch it, it just immediately falls off. But yeah, it's Kyle, you weren't here. I got a PSC Nighthawk. I got I went for the 30 pound pole because I want to. It's a very good looking bow. I got a PSC Nighthawk. I went for the 30-pound pull because I want to... It's a very good-looking bow. I like it a lot. I want

to get my form perfect before I move to higher stuff. 30 pounds is, like I told them, it is a joke to draw. Like a children's bow. For me, at least, it is. I'm stoked. I love when i get into new

hobbies and i hope that i'm i don't get like frustrated 10 minutes in oh you bought a lot of arrows i think i wanted to sell you three and my first thought was oh so every three arrows you have to go get the arrows that's what sucks yeah no you want to shoot 12 arrows per walk not three yeah i i bought a dozen like i told them for kyle's benefit uh and i just know i'm gonna shatter or whatever happens to carbon arrows no you'll be fine you're not gonna think so they'll just flex i i shot what if i what because because my the way my target is in my yard i have like uh you know the big bag thing it's probably like two and a half feet wide two and a half feet tall i wanted to get a big one it's because i'm going to start shooting at 10 yards just trying to

figure out form and get it consistent but like it it's still going to be hard you'll just get into trust me like you're going to hit the target you're going to figure out 10 yards in 10 minutes um and you can't you can't break those arrows so like but but having a lot of them is is nice carbon arrows don't really break like you've got you can shoot a tree with those things and pull it back out uh like you can reuse them i thought they would like splinter and stuff and like in extreme cases like like uh i've seen them like go into a deer and still be hanging out to some extent and then the deer clips that against a tree and that'll shatter it. But we'd reuse them after they usually go through

a deer and it goes all the way through the deer. It sticks in the ground. You just pull it out and it's usually still all good. What's it called in the back with the string goes into it? I knew it was called a knocker. I should have just used it like I was a pro. I think I've broken a knocker too. I don't know how.

They say that, except the thing I like, they have a huge gamut of carbon arrows you can buy. And the most expensive have the feather fletching on there because it like folds down as it's going through that section of the bow. I didn't get those. I went for the like the cheapest carbon ones because I figured it wasn't worthwhile for my skill level to invest in really nice arrows. section of the of the bow i didn't get those i went for the like the cheapest carbon ones because

i figured it wasn't worthwhile for my skill level to invest in really nice arrows i hope it doesn't like just tear those like plastic wings or whatever they are no those are called veins and uh they're gonna be fine i mean you've got like two up and one down it's like that so like the one down just goes through the uh the rest anyway so like it's gonna be fun my wingspan was 75 and three quarters but the um the uh you're gonna have fun with the bow that'll be cool yeah yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna get one soon let me get one soon i've got a i've got two and awesome i've got a recurve bow and i've got a compound bow i vastly prefer the compound bow because it's i hate i was sitting there when you were talking about like oh compound bow little oh sorry recurve bow 30 pounds

little bitch bow only a little a fucking child my wife anyone could pull this thing and i swear to god i have a 30 pound recurve bow and i'm like not sorry i didn't mean to be a dick about it but the difference is the compound bow is i've got one that's uh 60 or 70 pounds easy as heck and it feels like listen as a brit the deadliest any normal person can be is just holding a kitchen knife right i've never shot a gun i've really wanted to but you just can't really do it in the uk i've never felt deadlier than with this fucking hawkeye looking bow the compound bow it's got like a red dot sight it's so fucking cool the arrow moves faster than any object i've seen in real life what uh what credible when did you start

like kind of getting into it not too long ago or maybe like a few months ago but i'm gonna be talking to you about bow shit now yeah the difference is getting into it with a compound bow is just you pick it up you shoot maybe one shot you're like okay i get it because it's just a sight as up, you shoot maybe one shot, you're like, okay, I get it. Because it's just a sight. As long as you can, you've got it dialed in already. As long as you can hold it and like, it hits the mark almost every time. It's definitely like the smarter,

like I don't plan on hunting at least. Like if I'm going to hunt, I'm going to bring one of my guns, frankly. Like I have no plans for bow hunting. But everywhere I've read on the forums has said like, it's way easier to learn a recurve and then move to compound than it is to learn on compound and move to recurve. Uh,

that seems like it'd be true. I really want the clips channel that you guys have to get one title. That's like PKA destroys cross-dresser libtard. Yeah. Some shit like that like uh i'm sure i could come up with something like i i kind of prefer the way you the uk does gun laws uh which might be a device yeah i need that to be a title um but yeah no i mean I think that, like, because of the way it works here, having an... By the way, bows and everything,

crossbows, completely unregulated at all. You can be... I think you... I don't even think you need to be 18. You can just get this thing, and they're deadly. But, like, the state of the UK is pretty much, like,

no one really has their hands on weaponry that can really do damage there's like what three gun deaths a year in each city or something mine was like the top because there was three gun deaths in like a year you know it's kind of

nuts like that but with an arrow with archery I feel like there's a barrier to entry where it's not like I'm gonna just I'm gonna fuck this guy up i'm really angry at him let me just go learn how to use a fucking recurve bow it's kind of nice like that since no one has them there's nothing to really defend against i love that to go to the uk with a recurve bow pull off a massive school shooting and prove Finster wrong. Idiot doesn't know. The most devastating school shooting in world history, carried

out by a former Minecraft server owner who did it, and I quote, for the memes. To spite another Minecraft server There's like the one UK guy with a gun there And you just Just neck him with an arrow Have you seen that guy on YouTube

Who's like the fucking Badass of all badasses with a Recurve bow and he holds the arrows Between his fingers He's just got a big clutch of arrows And he's able to of all badasses with a recurve bow and he holds the arrows between his fingers. He's just got a big clutch of arrows and he's able to He literally shoots faster than Legolas. They put Legolas

and him side by side split screen and he's faster. Is he the one that curves arrows around shit as well? Yeah. Oh my god, that guy's He also shoots He exists in a world of his own. It's a different guy, I'm sure but there's this guy who has a trigger set up to launch things

in the air and then he shoots at them. Oh, it's the same guy? Yeah, he'll shoot aspirins. Yeah. There was one I saw recently. You know those saws that you put in your obviously like your table saw, I guess?

Sounds like you're doing a compound miter saw. A solid circle about yay big. He threw it and then he waited for it to start coming down and then he shot for it to come down and slice the arrow in two. It was so cool.

That's really dope. A lot of that is repetition, but the stuff that I'm impressed by is the speed. The other stuff, like... It's still neat, man. How do you shoot an aspirin? What's the trick to that?

You shoot a lot of aspirin. You need to buy four bottles of aspirin and have a full afternoon. I saw them do it on a morning talk show. I don't know if it's the same guy. I saw someone shoot the middle of a lifesaver. Oh, that's cool. Unprompted.

If he can just do it first try, incredible. He did it in front of an audience. That's different. That's 100% different. But I can shoot aspirin out of the air. I can shoot aspirin out of the air with a thousand tries. Kyle, you're talking about a gun. I imagine it's easier with a gun than with it's a lot easier with a gun yeah because it's like where is it now and now it's not there i

shot it at where it was in the oh no no i could like using like a 22 rifle like i could definitely like toss aspirin oh you like you just throw it out there yeah i would throw them like how many tries would it take you with a gun i definitely do it within 20 tries like 100 that's pretty good that's really impressive like 100 because like i can do gravel like that that are like only slightly bigger and hit those really regularly did you never think of doing like uh back when you were doing the fps russia channel did you not think of doing like a dude perfect style it's hard to film that stuff and it's yeah yeah it's hard to like get that actually filmed correctly

so that it doesn't look like it's been it's too easy to fake that stuff and that's and people will always just call shenanigans when you do something like that like it's just too easy to fake even if you have like a slow motion camera just catching an aspirin coming through the air

and getting shot, all we need is to get that footage, and then I can be like, throw the fucking aspirin, do a loop-de-loo, turn around and shoot, and then cut to slow motion footage of an aspirin exploding. It's too easy to fake. I went on

a spree of your videos where you did that, where you had a mannequin at just an impossible range. And you were like, let's see if I can hit that guy. And then it just hit him square in the forehead. It cuts a different shot. There's no fucking way. It'd be fun if you did the dude perfect thing.

And the first shot seemed pretty legit. The second shot, like really? And then you go into the, obviously I'm faking it, like phase of this you know yeah yeah across the ocean i don't yeah yeah i got another state you're on the phone with the guy throwing the target did you throw it yeah and when you when you're shooting your bows what

distance are you doing it at just like plinking around practicing i live in the uk so our yards are really quite small but i've got um i wouldn't know what it would be in in in feet but it's like meters that's about like a yard i guess maybe like 20 meters okay yeah that's where they say like 10 to 20 meters or yards or whatever is kind of where you want to be practicing yeah it felt like i've but i've missed as well and i've got a fence there's no i got really i was i only felt confident doing it because i've got a fence oh that's a lot of feet i got a fence that's um the board the back of it is like a brick building like a brick shed that someone else has built so i felt pretty confident i wasn't going to go over that i'm not that bad of a shot. And then I did it.

You just have to listen for a scream. Yeah. With that compound bow, though, I'm sure Carl will know, that thing will go through a fence panel. Like a 60, 70-pound draw, right? It is like a shockingly powerful thing. You know how they talk about force multipliers? That's one.

I've just never, I've, I've arced them up before and shot to see how far I would go. They just keep on going. I don't know how far, I don't know how far several hundred yards, like maybe 300, 400. I don't know.

It just kept going. It's super far. Like from my dad's house, just sort of thunk. It cleared the entire Valley and that's 250 yards like something like that like yeah i didn't mean to imply you were wrong just i was surprised oh i don't i don't know yeah yeah i've only done it once because arrows were you know it's like we're throwing an arrow away right now so it's right and especially back then like daddy was buying my arrows so it's like i don't want to

throw arrows away i don't have to go get another dozen or whatever. But yeah, compound bows are super strong. Crossbows are super strong. Hunting is so much fun, Taylor. If you ever like, that's the next step. I've gone gun hunting a ton of times, but I've never gone bow hunting ever. It's like, it's like condom sex versus no condom sex. Oh, okay. I got a bow hunt.

Yeah, it's like, it's so much more fun. What can you bow hunt that isn't deer? Because I hate sitting still that many hours for deer. Bow hunt a person. I guess we could kidnap some sort of a farm animal and tie it up for you like Jurassic Park.

I can't be a bad pheasant hunter. Or actually be the best hunterheasant hunter of all time. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's guys who shoot, there's special arrows to shoot birds out of the air. That's when you actually want a recurve bow because you need to be able to draw quickly. You're sitting there with the arrow and the knock and you're ready to go.

And when the pheasant flies up, thunk. Can you draw faster with recurve than compound? Yeah, because with the compound, you have to break it down and get it back, and then you're aiming. But with the recurve bow, not only is the draw just a simple straight back thing, there's no mechanical stuff going on where it's harder, harder, easier. And you can be more fluid with a motion like this. And also, you don't need to aim.

You can shoot by feel with a with a recurve bow which is what those guys do yeah i just like to find a video of somebody uh shooting pheasant with a with a with a bow it's nutty yeah that's incredibly impressive that's the thing with the recurve bow that i was on about like i can i can if i go like i can get back but holding it there is just awful at 30 pounds for me but But with a compound bow, I can get 60 pounds back pretty simply because holding it there is like five pounds of weight. Yeah. And then you can hold it for a long time or a relatively long time. Yeah.

Taylor was like, what should I hunt? Because deer are boring. And I'm instantly thinking, like, have you seen Running Man? The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? I have not. Is he hunting people? He's being hunted by people. I put the video in there. It's time stamped.

But, I mean, look at that and you can tell what he did there isn't crazy hard. It just takes practice. It's a good thing you had a dog oh actually i don't know what happens if there's no dog i mean if an arrow goes in something enough to like stick it there it's probably done its damage like that thing's gone eventually especially a pheasant that things are yeah did he kick it into the air in that video it looked like he just found one sporting he did have a bow

oh i see you talking about that thing with like uh someone's spear hunted a bear yeah it was like it's a it's an achievement for that i think a bow is like kind of in the middle of that and a gun like it's oh yeah something like especially with a recurve bow i'm not entirely for hunting animals with spears but a bow i could kind of get behind like except except for like wild boar because i don't i i don't know i don't think of them as cute and cuddly with feelings i think i'm as like pests but um um we were talking to some guys the other day that hunt them with uh with lances which is a spear and and dogs so they put the dogs in those kevlar vests the dogs chase the pig down they like bite the pig hold it and the and the hunter comes along

with a spear and he spears the hog to death or he uses a knife and and stabs at jeff with a knife but uh but hunting with a compound bow is a pretty big challenge there's no compound bow hunting that i'm aware of that doesn't involve sitting in a deer stand, though, whether you're hunting pigs, deer or bear, which is the only things I would really hunt. I would like to kill a bear with a bow, though. I'm probably going to make that my mission by this time next year. That would be cool. And you don't want to eat it, though, right? Rogan's talks like they taste good.

I don't know. I bet. I would try it. Just prepare it like i bet you could make a roast out of it that would be i think that's what they i think that's what he mentioned was some sort of a bear roast uh i would try it for sure uh just to see what's up um and if you're going to go through the expense of traveling somewhere killing a bear with a bow like might as well eat it at that point right of course that's that's like the entire fun part of hunting is getting to eat it i kind of figured that they needed to be like i've heard the whole like invasive species thing i thought that that was like a need for you to be able to hunt i always kind of like uh i mean i think the whole like

hunting for sport can sometimes be a bit of a like a bit of a dick move when it's like yeah you know they weren't really doing anything move when it's like yeah you know they weren't really doing anything but when it's like you know you hear about like this one specific breed of like whatever is like a terror on the ecosystem and they just tell the government just tells people fucking shoot on sight that's how wild boar are in texas they're uh they're an invasive like cross-bred species that species that causes millions in agricultural damage. So they reproduce like rabbits, and they have no natural predators down there. Not really.

I think there's some big cats, but... Not enough to handle that problem. Farmers have kind of put the big cats out of business that used to live in that area. So they really don't have any true predators. Coyotes can't really fuck with them. And when you're thinking of trophy hunting, I think of elephants giraffes stuff like that like there's a i think of like a chasm of difference between hunting a giraffe or like a dying lion and shooting a deer yeah that's shitty i think the whole like elephants giraffes you're like that's kind of like a i don't know that

seems shitty to me and even then when they do it the reason like they have specific like you can't just go out there and be like i bought a lion hunting permit they'll be like okay we need to find one specific lion who is a former alpha male who's no longer fertile who's scaring off younger males from propagating the species so you can kill that one and then the money that you spend to shoot that animal is often put right into conservation. So that's the thing that a lot of people that look down on that sort of thing don't realize. I've told the story before. I don't remember the exact details, but there was this species of deer or something or antelope or something where the vast majority of them are endangered.

And the vast majority of them existed in Texas because of the big wild game ranches they've got out there and they made it illegal to hunt them which now meant that the game ranches have no reason to keep them now they have a liability on their hands if somebody accidentally shoots an endangered ibex or whatever the fuck it was now they're in big fucking shit so they just killed them all like it's illegal to hunt them but you can slaughter your property so they just now they're like super uh borderline extinct because they didn't want people coming to like shoot this deer but but the shooting of the deer was what was keeping them in business um and a lot of those a lot of those paid hunts the money goes right into conservation that doesn't mean i like to see like fucking trump's son holding the goddamn elephant's tail though that's

just that's not a good look that's not a good look at all but like all the money they paid to hunt an elephant is or a huge percentage of it in like fucking nigeria or wherever is helping elephant habitats and they probably ate the whole elephant they use all of the elephant there they use all of the elephant the truck would be made into condoms i bet elephant tastes like shit. It's really tough. Yeah, it probably does. They're always so old as well. If you're going to trophy hunt,

the ultimate trophy hunt should be like you're on foot hunting a healthy hippo. If you kill that, you deserve it. I would want a big rifle. The biggest. I want to be able to call in aerosols all this ancient weapon talk has me looking at throwing spears you can get them on amazon of course you can i like your moxie go with the throwing axes oh i just i have a uh

go with the throwing axes. I have a target that I bought for my bow and arrow that would really work for a throwing spear too. I only mention the axes because it's... It would knock it over. I've thrown spears before and it's hard to do. Really?

Go straight like a football. You can't though because the football you put spin on. It's this thing where every time you throw the spear when you're not you're straight like a football like you can't though because the football you put spin on it's it's this thing where like every time you throw the spear when you're not good at it like i am i got a straw perfect it it wants to like come out of your hand like this or like this or like twist it to the left or to get the spear to like do this perfect like parabola i guess or whatever you wanted to do. Like an arrow would. It's hard. The release and everything. Whereas with the throwing axe, you're just really stabilizing

it with that flip. There's places you can go. It became really trendy, kind of like escape rooms did for a while. I've seen so many chicks on Tinder who are throwing throwing axes. They're fun to throw. Alternate idea, buy the spear, but then construct

a bow around it. Just a fucking... A ballista. Now that, okay, if someone was going to go, I'd be alright. What if you had a truck mounted ballista that like cranks up like this and like it's got like a rotating seat.

Can you do that as a felon? Oh yeah. It's attached to the winch, and so it's such a fast reload. Smith and Wesson will sell you three throwing axes and three throwing knives for 56 bucks. That's a good deal.

You couldn't call it FPS Russia, though, if you did that. It'd be FP... FPB? FPT? FPT? First Person Thrower? It'd be so good. You come back as just... Oh my friend! I have lost a lot of rights in the last...

Now we are going to first test slingshots. This channel sucks now i really like to see the take on it because you managed to make that would be funny you managed to make everything extreme somehow it'd be a slingshot that somehow explodes a target oh god do you know anything that would explode from a slingshot would red dot do that um yeah i could come up with something that would explode from a slingshot? Would red dot do that? Yeah, I could come up with something that would explode.

An exploding projectile would come out of a slingshot pretty easily. I meant an exploding target. Oh, a target. Yeah, I could rig it up. Okay. Yeah. You're just sitting and nonchalant. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you would just use... I mean, you'd essentially be making

a pressure-sensitive bomb as a target. A lot of pressure-sensitive bombs, I'm telling you this, I recognize, like, even a shotgun won't set them off. Like, you need a more faster. So that's why I was asking about a slingshot. Like, could you rig something that would work? I would use 209 shotgun primers uh placed in a cluster focusing in on some sort of uh

container filled with an explosive like black powder or um something like that that i won't go too much into but the the primers would explode and ignite it with you can take 209 primers and put them in a shot in a in a slhot. I used to do this all the time and shoot it in a brick house and they'll explode on impact. It's the part of the... It's the primer from a shotgun shell, but you can buy them. Back then, they were cheaper. Who knows what reloading supplies cost now, but

back then, I just had hundreds and hundreds of them and it was fun to shoot them and they'd pop. Everything on Earth is backordered right now. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Who knows? Yeah, that sort of thing i like that idea i hope he gets into the archery thing though the next step is is the hunting it's so fucking thrilling to like be in a deer stand with like a i don't know it's a lot of pressure for me it was anyway and i guess it's multifaceted for one thing i wanted to like you know make my dad proud but for another like it was like it was our hobby at the time it was

what i was like hyper focused on like getting good at and like accomplishing that goal of killing a deer was such a big deal for me that year. When I made, it's impressive. I kind of fit into that camp of like, with a gun, you're in like easy mode, but with a, with a bow, I can kind of respect it in a way. If you kill a deer with a bow, as long as you're like nice about it, right? I've killed them with everything. Yeah.

I've killed deer with, um, with, killed deer with bows, with black powder weapons, and with centerfire rifles. With a pistol. With a shotgun. Everything, I think. Hmm? I said he bit one. He bit me first.

I believed that. I believed it for a second. I was about to say, the bow hunting hunting thing when i made paramotor videos i was very aware of the fact that this is fun to do but it's not necessarily fun to watch it's just sky sitting right uh bow hunting is that times 10 i'm sure it's fun to do i'm sure there's a little stress you've got your adrenaline going you're trying to do something good under pressure. But to watch it? Oh my goodness. What if I was shooting apples off of Jeremy's head?

I'd sub for that. It'd be based on Jeremy's reactions. Right? How scared he was. Look at how much he reacts with an arrow through his forehead. You knocked my tooth out. That shuriken. Wait, doesn't Jeremy have all new teeth i don't mind big stuff i've got dentures they flop around uh we can we can get rid of those real quick with an arrow

how much would you need to pay uh was it jeremy the one that just held the explosive or something yeah um that's the that's on the same level as putting an apple on your head. I'm going to try to fucking shoot it. Definitely not. Really? No. It's meant to look incredibly dangerous, but to be wishy-washy dangerous.

The explosives are on the end of a stick that are stuck in one of those zombie targets, and they're in the zombie's head. He's separated from the explosion by three and a half, four feet, which might sound scary, but this is an explosion that doesn't and a half four feet um which might sound scary but like this is an explosion that doesn't produce a lot of shrapnel it's really just concussive force so it's like there's a little little flashbang going up above his head it's it's loud for him but

outdoors it's not that loud it's not that dangerous so there's like shooting air off his head like there's a 25 chance he dies okay the wings trip yeah no the um i i saw you blew up blew up a boat and i think that in that moment i realized okay there's got to be different tiers of explosive because you were standing next to that and it was it was enough did you blow up a boat or is he you did like a rowboat or something, right? Mass boat, yeah. Yeah, but like... Fiberglass. I don't know how...

On video, it looked like you were maybe five meters, something from it. About five yards, yeah. Too close to that boat. Is it something? Well, I had to get close because all I had was a Dragunov sniper rifle. I wanted to make sure I hit it. Yeah, and it was one of those explosions that you hear on the microphone of a camera. A big explosion, like,

but a really powerful one, just... Like, it's a really short sound effect, and it was fucking terrifying. Like, the grass moved. Yeah, yeah, that was a big explosion. That wasn't a different tier of explosives that was just more of them yeah but like how does no one die from i feel like that's the sort of thing i'd see and go well okay anything within like a big radius of that is

gone the things that two things kill you from explosion there's the shrapnel which is the most lethal thing it's throwing bits of usually metal um that's the scary part because metal is hard sharp and it moves quickly because it's dense but if you're if your target is mostly made out of light soft squishy stuff like foam or fiberglass to some extent fiberglass isn't ideal it it catches the wind and it doesn't go very far like it reaches like terminal velocity or whatever that the whatever as fast as the explosion can make it go and then the wind catches it and it's sort of loses that speed really quickly and fades out um so that wasn't really a concern there unless there was like a bolt or a nut or a washer or something that happened to be right next to the

explosive charge the other thing is pressure waves and with the explosives that we're using there the tannerite you're not really creating much of a pressure wave you need a big fucking amount of just about anything to create a pressure wave and pressure waves will liquefy organs they'll rupture organs they'll turn your liver into goo from from certain ranges and you just didn't have to worry about either of those things in that situation so a lot of that stuff's made to look stupid dangerous but to be that wasn't smart was it yeah okay how much like how many magnitudes of that would there be like how many how many boats from that range worth of explosive would you need to be like okay maybe we should take a step back from this

depends what it is what it's in it depends like again like like what it's in. It depends, again, if it's just explosives sitting naked on the ground. I've shot five pounds from 15 feet or something like that. Right up against it. You just feel the wind blow your hair back and you feel a thump in your chest like if somebody's got a badass sound system.

You can get really close to that if it's in foam. If you're blowing a car up you need to be a good distance away in case what happened in that one video happens and a door or something becomes flying at you right that's how like i introduce you i go like i'm going on a podcast with that one guy fps russia and they go who is that you remember that one guy yeah yeah yeah there's the meme of you sitting on the thing too i forget oh the bofors gun yeah i'm sure you're right yeah yeah 40 millimeter bofors anti-aircraft gun yeah i see that meme a lot um yeah that's funny one i got the i got the big afro wig on the mannequin that That thing just... That was a lot of explosives inside

of him. I don't remember. I think that might be 10 pounds strapped to his chest, and then you hit it with that gun. Because it's such a big projectile going so fast, it allows all the explosives to go off. That was a big explosion. That flattened the grass around him.

But yeah, we really appreciate you coming on fenster thank you so much we appreciate you putting your big titties on yeah thank you very much for the big titties where can everybody find you uh finster it's weirdly spelled but it's down there on the screen it's with numbers in it like an old Xbox gamertag. And yeah, on Twitch, on YouTube, everything's basically just Finster. On YouTube, Finster Live. If you want to see our Meggle videos, it's just Fin. F-I-N-N. Like a normal name. And if you're a Minecrafter, MC

Prison and Skyblocky. Oh, thank you. I'm sure Finster will hook up Colin with some ranks. I'll get his IGN off you. I'll reach there bro, I promise. The princess pack. That's the biggest one. That's the highest tier.

We'll give him such an embarrassing tag. Awesome. Very good. PKA 566.