Painkiller Already - PKA 565 W/Tucker - PKA Got Baked, Dollar Store Bandit, Dried out Cupcakes

Episode Date: October 16, 2021

pka 565 the high episode with our guest tucker so yes this episode is brought to you by blue chew and smart mouth a couple of wonderful sponsors tucker thanks for coming back yeah every time it's the end of an episode i'm always like fuck that well he's probably not coming back this time well like some nonsense one of us will say i was baited into this one again. I feel like we've I was on here like two months ago. It wasn't that long ago. It was definitely a quicker cycles one. So nothing of note has changed.

I promise it's now we're still here to furnish that house back there. This is so target. No, I'm actually I'm actually as close to being done as possible. So what you're seeing is the corner of my bedroom um it's i don't know what i'm gonna put maybe a little like a little one of those ottomans that you can sit and put your socks on or it's my class sofa table with plants i don't know yeah right there next swing kyle loves sex swings we haven't even considered all the i was i'm not even being ironic kyle like takes up a huge amount of space in his bedroom with sex the majority of it yeah yeah and so what do you think would fit well there kyle that

would give him the most utility oh like one of those big crosses that you can attach someone to like a big oh like a whipping like a whipping yeah yeah a frame even yeah that'd be good because you're up here and then my living room's downstairs you're just looking oh 30 feet yeah you could do uh 27 i lied you it's 27 feet you ever do any hook play you can do some wild sex yeah i know we can use for heaven's sakes i mean i know i'm just worried about the live personal liability of somebody falling from one of those things more gymnasts you're right what what all can you do in the the rams for anyone it doesn't like you know i don't have any giant sex apparati in my home but it seems like the uh what is it the sibian simian yeah

the sibian not simian that's that's the one yeah just looking some apes bean but no that one seems like it would make a lot more sense than the crucifix one. Because what? Well, what if you don't want her to get away? Yeah, but like, what are you? Do you ever hop in? Or are you always the torturer? Where would I go? In the swing.

I don't need to be restrained. You would go in the A-frame. Do you ever try to escape? I mean, I know from our text, Kyle that you you like to be the torturer not the torturing yes in your in your sexual play do you ever flip the script on your little bit not the sub yeah do you ever become the sub try it out just no because like what if i end up like george costanza like handcuffed to that bed and she robs me and leaves ah good story yeah yeah i could go poorly i don't know i mean you just have to make it so that you could break out of the chains if need be.

Well, that's already strong. So some sort of change that I can like break apart like Samson? Yeah, like prop breakaway chains. Prop breakaway chains. This is part of my sex life now. I can't believe I'm having to spell this out for you, you fucking retard. Well, I guess that then, even though it doesn't make make any didn't you just buy a sex bench yeah it went poorly though i don't think it's it's i don't know how to put it together right

no it's not well made dude i'm telling jackie one star kyle had an entrepreneurial idea i would i would make furniture that you can bring the noise kyle bring the noise there's no pounding you can put on a fucking woody Gamer Tag heirloom quality furniture. Solid mahogany. I know how to design for racking forces. Generations of semen have dried on these boards. That needs to be the tagline. Your children will inherit this.

Yeah, you don't want to hand down sex toys. That would be vile. Yeah, that thing was terrible quality. And it wasn't... Yeah, $400. Did you return it and get your money back? For $400, I would have you fucking hand-cut joinery, like walnut or...

Two-by-fours of plywood. It's terrible. There's so much profit margin in that. There's so much. Two by fours are like Douglas fir and soft pine. Of course it didn't hold. I don't think it was a holding issue. It was...

I just can't figure out how to put the thing together. It's fine. I have others. You wouldn't catch me dead fucking on a Douglas fir. No birch for no bitch in thislas fur no birch for no bitch in this no i'm a mahogany man would that be a good wood to fuck on that's what i think of when i think classy mahogany i like it but it's also soft you want like a hard maple or an oak or something i would think if you're gonna it subjected to racking forces. Racking forces.

So picture like a child who made a table and just put the legs on the bottom and then push the top of the table. It falls over like that. It's weak. Dumb kid. That's why you have an apron holding the legs vertically around the bottom of the table. Okay.

And that makes it stand up to racking force. A racking force is when you tip it. If I built a square box and pressed two corners, that would be a racking force. Okay. Gotcha. So you put Xs in there. You really sturdy it. That would work, right? Or you could put gussets, which are the angled pieces on every corner.

Oh, yeah. That would sturdy it, too. I've never gussets, which are the angled pieces on every corner. Oh, yeah. That would sturdy it too. I've never made anything that wasn't like delivered in a box for me, like ever. And I started off like I remember I was putting together my lat machine. This was a year ago. So it's not like I was 29. And I was like I got all the equipment. You weren't wise like

you are now no no and i got this like big lat pull down seated row machine it was the first big piece of like non-power rack equipment i put in my home gym and like you have to loop the thing and like screw it all together it's from titan fitness so it's not like it's all welded together you have to make the whole fucking thing. And I remember like, like putting it together wrong at one point. And like my, my now wife is down there with me, like playing with the dogs in the corner and like the hockey area. And I like throw something across,

not at them, like at the wall. And I'm like, fuck, I'm such a fucking idiot. I'm such a fucking retard. I even a fucking monkey can put this together. And she's like,

Taylor, you need to calm down. Every time you put something together and she's like taylor you need to calm down every time you put something together you start you scare me and the dogs because you're screaming about how much of a retard you are you can't figure it out i'm not exaggerating i'm not i'm this i'm not being hyperbolic for the sake of comedy and i like i've had to like tell myself when i have trouble putting other things together now, like it's OK. It's all right.

We're going to get it's fine. Put a smile on your face. You know, you ever do this one. You ever like put it like a third of the way together and realize it's all wrong. It has to come back apart. Oh, yeah. That's what the problem was. Yeah, that's it.

I had already gone back with some things to like extra tighten the bolts. Yeah. And then it was like, no idiot, you put the wrong thing here and it's going to tip towards you and kill you or whatever the hell. So yeah. Oh, I'm better at it now.

I really have learned more patience with it in the last year, putting gym stuff together. Two things. One patients comes with age. That just helps. I used to actively work on it. I design a woodworking project. And I'd be like,

you know what? I'm going to do an inlay carving right here, which is like where you sort of carve out a groove and then fill that with perhaps a contrasting wood. So if it's a light maple, I'll put like purple heart in the engrave so that there's like an emblem or something on it. It is slow, careful work. And it was just to work on patients. Like it was a skill, not an attribute. That's good. That's a good idea. That's very Zen of you. I was going to say, I feel like I actually enjoy putting furniture together.

If it is reasonably, like if I can do it myself, I hate asking for help, but I'm like, you know, okay, I can build it. But the problem is that I'm impatient and, uh, I'm not good at following directions. And oftentimes I am doing it when I'm high. So I'm like, I get excited. I put the music on and I'm like, oh boy. And then I get halfway through in the Ikea, like the internal shelf is upside down.

So like the lacquered part is down and I'll stare at it and I'm like, who's going to see the inside of this shelf anyways? And I'll just keep going. You just keep going. Yeah, I'm not going to see the inside of this shelf anyways? You just keep going. I'm not going to undo it all. IKEA furniture is made to be assembled once and never unassembled.

That's throwing it away. It will fall apart. It falls apart eventually. It's kind of crap, mostly. Oh, for sure. It looks good in this showroom. It does. Their store is such a trap. You can't just go a little bit into an ikea uh meatballs taylor well well that's also predatory i i've i've written to costco about

with the same complaint those hot dogs predatory all those they're too affordable god damn it the nachos the pizza all the little samples uh Man, I haven't been to Costco in forever. Yeah. That's the most fun grocery store to go to. I don't know what about it is so much fun. Maybe because you're like, I'm not just getting snacks for tonight. I think there's an internal voice in my head where it's like, you can eat all of this if you want to.

No one's going to stop you. You can eat that. You know the one that looks like a cinder block of goldfish. You know what I'm talking about? You don't feel the guilt because my wife had chocolate-covered almonds today, and I'm like, that looks good. Then we had a guest over. I'm like, but of course it's good. It's just fat covered in sugar.

And Jackie explains, people don't like him. I mean, that's why it's good. Yeah. And of course, it's like when I'm in the middle of a feast late at night, like if I start to feel guilty, I'll block that out with more eating. But the next day is when it's like, oh, man, you really fucked up. Like you go to put the goldfish back from your coffee table, and you know when you pick something up expecting weight,

and you're like, you pick it up too quickly because it's empty? Oh, that's a feeling I've experienced many times. If I fall apart diet-wise, it's usually late-night snacking. Always. So in the morning when you clean the bedroom, that's where I do it. It's like, oh, this plastic tub used to have salsa in it. And you know, there were an appropriate number of chips

that went along with it. And then I eat it convincing myself, like by overloading this chip with salsa, I'm eating fewer chips. That's true. It's like, it's pretty healthy. This is within the last year,

but I got unbelievably high and we didn't have any snacks late at night It is true, yeah. It's pretty healthy. This is within the last year, but I got unbelievably high, and we didn't have any snacks late at night other than these Colby Jack cheese sticks. And each one, 80 calories. I ate 11 of them. And they have those little, like, peel-apart pieces. And so the next day, like, I woke up, and I was like, oh, why do I feel like such dog shit?

And I just see my side table by the couch. 11 of those piled up. 880 calories of just nothing but Wisconsin Colby Jack cheese. Manufactured cheese. That's so much cheese. No fiber in that meal at all. No. You, man.

I feel like I could take Taylor's poop and use it as a shank on a hammer. Oh, you could. It could be like mortar. It was so difficult to get out. Oh, my God. I mean, I'd do it again. Try me, bitch. I will do it again at some point.

I love it. And I purposely didn't count out the rappers. The only reason I knew it was 11 is because they come in a pack of 12, and I wanted to get one the following night, and I was like, I can't just be, oh, no. One. Like, you ate 11.

I like that I went back the next night. I love cheese. I love cheese. That's so painful. It is. What are your guys' late-night snack, your guilt? I guess I know your guys more, Woody, with the trail mix. But Tucker, what's your...

I haven't had trail mix in ages. I'm sorry. I'd sometimes do chips and salsa even now, but not much. I've been pretty good. What I have been snacking on is fruit. I've convinced myself that no one just balloons over fruit. I have mixed fruits like kiwi, kiwi melons blueberries strawberries standard mixture yeah okay um and and the trouble is if you eat like a bowl of that it is like drinking two cups

of water and going to bed it your body doesn't see much difference the same with watermelon i'll do the same thing so you're lucky if you can make it through the night and not pee that is like a fun thing where like you get in your own head like i'm gonna be so healthy tonight i've done that with grapes before and i will just eat hundreds you can overdo it oh no that hurts your belly quit mine oh yeah yeah it doesn't feel good have you both eaten grapes until you felt pain? Yes. I've never had, like, oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah. We're doing, like, three Walking Dead in a row. It is hard to watch three one-hour shows without food. So I'm like, well, shit, if you're going to indulge, do something healthier. It's grapes. And I had a ridiculous amount of grapes. Like in the colander?

Just like on the stem? I had nearly a colander full of grapes. A colander of grapes. Standard unit of measurement. I mean, that's what I remember. My mom would always take the grapes and put it in the colander to wash them off. And then I'd just be like, all right, well, let me just eat them off the vine. And then when they're done, they're done kind of of thing but yeah but you can overdo it and it hurts

and i'm like i don't know if it hurts more to be bent over or to stand upright i need to do something those are the worst where like you really put yourself in a bind you're like you did this to yourself yeah and you knew you were doing it as you were doing it, and you forged ahead anyway. I forgot that. I thought the amount of grapes that hurt you was more than a colander. I thought it took more. It doesn't.

A colander will get it done. Yeah. A colander. One of the worst snacks I've had in the last year or so, the sea salt caramel chocolate covered almonds. Jesus Christ, that sounds good and bad. They're unbelievable. I believe you.

And I ate the entire tin of it in one night. I think they have bitch-ass unsalted chocolate covered almonds downstairs. There's so much fucking salt on these. Oh, my God, the worst. I go get my mortons i had a little more you know and i i remember like throwing away the package wait hold on you add salt to your sea salt no i wouldn't do that i was joking it has plenty of sea salt caramel on there i think you saw i can i can see yeah kyle and i have agreed i give a little caramel drizzle

but i would never give me my track record. You're right not to believe me, but I don't do that. But I remember going to throw that little container away and glancing at it and seeing nutrition facts and turning the container in my hand and placing it the other way in the garbage bag. So I wouldn't know what I'd done. Someone, it's a person in my family, had five almonds in there. That's as many calories as my

meat tonight. Just five almonds covered in chocolate. I bet it's over 200 calories. Each almond is probably 50 each. Chocolate covered almonds. It depends how much chocolate.

But an Oreo is like really low in calories compared to that. Yeah, but an Oreo isn't like a natural fatty, natural high calorie food covered in sugar. It depends what kind of sugar. Yeah, the chocolate we're talking about. Is it like that dark chocolate, like powdery stuff? No, we're talking like the coated. Like an M&M. Oh, okay.

Like if you were to cut this in half half like the almond would look like the core of the earth and the chocolate would be like the mantle like a huge amount of chocolate Zach says 85 and 5 well in any case yeah almonds have calories speaking of chocolate and yummy treats Kyle you made

some delicious baked goods today packed with just probably a stupid amount of marijuana. So I took – I wrote it all down. I took – That's less than I expected. I took seven grams of 25% THC marijuana, and I cooked that into cupcakes for a total of 1,750 milligrams of THC, which is a little more than we want tonight. So we are doing six of them.

About 10 times more than I want. You took about two-thirds of the cupcakes. I've got two-thirds. The other one-third, I guess, is for the cupcakes. The only problem is two-thirds of the cupcakes, when you're trying to hit 1,000 milligrams, is an entire plate of cupcakes. Taylor, are you looking at that and thinking what's

the problem because i i started on this one already a little you're gonna what are you gonna eat the last three hours of the show uh so i think what i'm gonna do is uh start like by eating one now and then slowly rank yeah like you should ease into it yeah that's do they taste good oh sorry no they don't fuck that was my question they don't they don't Do they taste good? No, they don't. That was my question. They taste like grass probably, but they taste like chocolate. If I had to guess. Everything that I've had, especially that strong,

just tastes like grassy chocolate. It's really strong with weed, but I did put real frosting on top, so that doesn't taste like shit. It looks like you put a huge amount of chocolate to mask it. I bought... I went to this smoke shop today and I bought Delta 8, an edible. No!

Wait. No, I just like... The whole Delta 8 stuff is kind of... Like, it's legal for me to get regular weed here, so it's like, why... I always have this weird connotation. Yeah, I have this weird connotation with anything that's not traditional THC.

Like when I was growing up, kids smoking spice and the other stuff. It just is weird. But I think Delta-8 is fine. I'm pretty sure it's fine. Delta-8 is the bee's knees. It is great. It's not bad for you in the same way that pot's not bad for you, right? Like alcohol's worse.

Anyway, I could go on. And it's legal. And I thought that, I i don't know i guess i'm just trying to they were really mad last week and i'm trying we're doing like a makeup episode we're trying to get it right we'll get high as shit and yeah like if i know what you mean about spice and having that hesitance because like if this were like spice no one would be doing this because i know but it's in high school and it was just a panic attack we've talked about it before so i won't dwell on it but it was it was the least pleasant drug i've ever done in my life and i would never do it again the reason that delta-8 so popular is because it feels pretty much the same as weed mom so that's what i've

heard this is a gentle thing alcohol is way worse they say it's science so yeah i mean so my probation ended um on the second so um i got a delta 8 vape pen so at midnight we started like just fucking hitting that thing before i flew to denver and uh in the morning and it got me so scary scary high like the delta so like maybe it was just because that was the first thing i'd ever smoked, and when I get back, I'll be like, oh, this Delta-8 stuff's weak. But it seems as strong to me as this dab pen. It seems so strong. We'll see. I asked the guy behind the counter if Delta-8 was stronger than pot,

and I'll save you what an annoyance that was, but the takeaway was some people say one, some say the other. It's close. Dude, that is such a rule one if you've been in a dispensary before. Don't ask that fucking weirdo his opinion on any of the weed. Don't be like, hey, can I like it? It looked his size. I did an ocular pat down, and I thought this guy is a subject matter expert on weed and Delta eight. And I could use a little handholding when I did that in Colorado,

the dude was like, like he knew what was up. He's like, yeah, I know what you need. We'll get you all set up. We'll point you in the direction of success. This guy,

wasn't that guy. He was unable to answer questions. Well, what did he was like? Elusive. I was like, is this a bad question? Do, do I look like for you? Like how is this drug better than that one? And he was like elusive i was like is this a bad question do do i look like for you like how is this drug better than that one he's like maybe

he was like oh we'll see and then he he kept thinking that i was going to think that he was lying to me that that i he's like yeah let's see what happens if i tell you this thing then you'll hear something else from someone else and you'll think that I said you wrong, that I'm not telling you the truth. And I'm like, no, I just don't know. I don't know. I want some help. That guy's smoking too much weed. He's paranoid.

Yeah, he's paranoid in his own head shop. He's like, are you a narc, dude? I don't know. I was like, is this a bad question? Am I coming off like a cop he's like no delta a is legal it's not a cop thing i and then he proceeded to dodge my question do i look like you're like open carrying in the store i worry that i look like like don't i've got a bit of a cop look right does this not scream undercover detective at least a little

right detective no a little bit but if you had a mustache detective at least a little? Detective, no. If you had a mustache. A regular cop would have shorter hair, no? I don't know. I think you've got a very copy. I was going to say, from your eyebrows up looks like I should be afraid. Very copy.

Yeah, very copy. Just from there up though. You look like it works what does a detective look like well I guess detectives no I was thinking of like an undercover agent it wouldn't matter a detective isn't solving crimes he looks like a normal person

like Sherlock Holmes I was wearing a trench coat and a paperboy hat. Maybe that was the issue. This is me and my gay assistant. Who has a crush on me and I'll never acknowledge it. Wait, is Watson gay? You know, maybe I read a tweet about that. Was it a fan fiction about how they wanted Watson to fuck?

I guarantee that's out there. I want to explain what happened last week with the lack of pot we explained it on pkn and we all knew we'd do it again on pka so why didn't we do a thousand milligrams last week because it's irresponsible no it was that's yeah that doesn't stop us we talked about it pre-show but i was so high that i thought we talked about it during the show last week, but we just couldn't get any edibles, and I wasn't really thinking of doing it that

week necessarily. I didn't seem... I didn't think that I had said it was going to be the first week or whatever. I just said I'd do it on the show. I was surprised anybody was upset. Regardless, we got everything now. You've got your nasty-ass chocolate muffinsins and you can just wolf those down. I can wash them down

with this. Cream Zevia. Yeah. You need milk. What is that you have there? It's cream soda. It's like Zevia. Oh, okay. It's not a good, it's a terrible mixture. Why are you looking at it like it's bad? The cream soda is the best flavor. Because I'm eating these wheat cupcakes with it. Then don't rip Zevia. That's a good soda.

You know what you really should have done? You should have blended it into a smoothie. It is probably easier to drink your THQ can of butter than it is to eat it. I don't think we have a blender here. Oh, you could throw it in there. I would take milk. I would just take milk.

There's actually ice cream up there, too. Ice cream and all of those. Blend them up. There you go. He blended his internet can you get high through your asshole yeah okay is it the same you know how like one shot of vodka in your asshole is like way more because it's just going right in we all know i know yeah we've all tried it they say five i think four yeah but you won't use a tampon for that i wonder if it's the same with weed like if you put 10 milligrams of like a gummy and let it dissolve in your asshole maybe you get as high as if you ate like 80 i just searched you get more high boofing weed and um uh we're not gonna get a lot of good answers from google on this one i'm gonna let you

know no studies have been done question no one's um metro.co.uk wrote an article march 21st 2017 with the title you should be putting weed up your anus instead of smoking at doctor's advice? Doctor's advice? Hi, everybody. You should be shoving it up your asshole. I'm Dr. Nick. In case the impression was so bad, you didn't know. It does make a certain sense. Like, if you smoke it, there's some particulate matter and lung damage. I know it's not a lot because you tend not to smoke as much air i guess as you would a

cigarette right but uh people don't smoke 22 joints a day no your throat would die they say use a repository and then throw it up there and not like sit on the trees and do they sell marijuana suppositories that you can stick up your butt but But I'm thinking of a market now if they don't. I don't know how this absorption works. Do girls have two options? Oh my god. Yeah, they can get twice as high. And you can too if you're really dedicated.

Just sounding it. You're like rolling and sounding it. I've made a very thin spike. I've made a very long spike of honey oil that you need to insert into your dick hole. God damn it. You know, we're all progressive here

with sex and everything. That should be illegal. Sounding? Yeah. Yeah, there's no need for that. I can understand a need for getting elbow deep in somebody's ass medically, but not there's no need for to stretch

your urethra. Those are like the ultimate like it's like what Jar Guy and BME Pain Olympic that one it sucks how like all of us who came up on the internet in that time

like I can close my eyes and picture every every bit of that guy's asshole yeah yeah you know i can i i know i can recognize uh goadsy so well that somebody had in a video game i believe i was playing had like carved it into like like the hieroglyphics and stuff i turned the corner and i was just like wait that's oh man like it was like five pixels and i'm like yep he's spreading his ass i haven't easily recognized pretty small goatsy ascii art before yeah i remember like having to consciously get myself like away from looking at bane's mask like, oh, my right. I was like, is he going to be a good movie if I'm looking at his

mouth like it's go to see? But you know, it wasn't that great of a movie anyway. I think the more years that go by since I've seen it, the more I'm realizing, yeah, the Bane one really dropped the ball. I just see it again. I liked it at the time, but I think I've only seen it once. I mean, it's not a terrible movie or anything. It's just

compared to the first two. No. They have a fist fight in broad daylight. Nobody brought a weapon. God, it is a bad movie, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. That is the problem with low-tier superheroes.

That regular people can beat them with guns. He's the peak in DC, right? His vertebrae was sticking out of the skin and he crawled out of a pit, traveled across the entire globe, and then started that signal fire on the fake Brooklyn Bridge. Only because he had health insurance. If he were a poor superhero,

he would have been fucked. He had no way to call a jet or anything. They didn't even explain that. He was just in the middle of nowhere. Didn't he fix it by rehabbing it himself? Yeah! It wasn't high tech. He was sticking it out. And that is...

Taylor's blamed it on his internet. Like, fuck. You know, usually when someone pauses, they look bad, but Taylor's got a good look going on right there. He looks suspicious. He looks like he thinks someone's lying. I'm seeing handsome. Now that you say it, I see that too.

He's like, yeah, keep going, but sure, you got stabbed. Okay. Uh-huh. Oh, fuck. Hey, what's up? It's Glory Taylor. Fuck. You'll come back, Taylor.

I think it'll just fix itself you're a robot-y but I got the words it kind of looks like DJ Kyle in this one that morbidly obese guy yeah but just in the face with the

feel better that's a good ass burn no that's horrible ugly you look like him but not but not like the funny part you're so fucked up so i let's let edible i'm thinking of taking it one hour in. I'm taking 25 milligrams. Oh, look at us.

That was good. I like that one. You like that one? I mean, that one looked like we were about to have a debate on like SPN on which quarterback is less racist or something. Oh, I was thinking of taking my one hour into this show. So I'd get more effect from it. There'd be more show around it. 30-45 minutes an hour depends on

what you're taking and how much you ate and all that stuff. But I mean, if you take... Does that hurt it or help it? It hurt it, but I don't think... It's not like you'll get less high. It just will probably take more time. It's got to mingle with the food. Now you're fucked!

Now you're actually fucked. Yes, silly Taylor. I think it'll just go away. As soon as your wife's download finishes, why did I bring her into it? Because it was a joke. It'll be fixed. Yeah, I mean,

depending on how confident and comfortable you are operating when you have taken edibles, I think a full hour of the show at the end is plenty for you to get i everybody's different for me if i well if i take edibles i'm gonna fall asleep like i don't know in them before i'm gonna make some coffee soon uh yeah i'm gonna go get a coffee in a moment but um yeah i don't know it's been fun this whole trip's been really fun um dirty just getting so fucking high and and i'm always joking about like like slipping drugs into his drink and stuff to keep him on his toes and uh and i pretended like i was injecting him with something

uh last night he flipped out it was great so i've been keeping him really paranoid because you know i've got i got like syringes so i can you know if he just sees me, I can boop him with my finger and then just be like, ah! As I'm walking away, like, ah, pain of mind! These good jokes are bad jokes. I mean, if you're the type of person that's going to fall...

If you think Kyle has an injectable drug he's going to spend on your forearm to get you high, then you kind of deserve to get pranked. If I have injectable drugs, I'm not sharing them. That's what I'm saying. Whenever somebody was like, man, they're going to lace your weed with psychoactive, with LSD, I'm like,

nobody's wasting fun drugs on weed, okay? Nobody's going to be like, hey man, lace it with some coke. It's going to be four times the cost now, though. The only thing you the only thing that'll happen is people will put like fentanyl and uh and stuff or fentanyl or whatever yeah but no and cocaine but like not in weed i also don't know not in weed they do it because

it's so cheap and it gives such a big like powerful boost like but they always get the dosage wrong and that's not true sometimes they get the dosage wrong there's lots of people out there doing fentanyl and be like, man, this stuff is awesome. My dealer knows the perfect amount of fentanyl to give me. It's wonderful. My last dealer killed three girlfriends. This one, amazing. It is easy to get really

inaccurate information around drugs, but I read that when someone dies, it's good for sales. That they're like, ooh, Kyle sells the good shit. I would say that i would say that that is more for like like heroin or something right that's what it is right heroin right but fentanyl there's a current issue with the listener to make that leap when they sell

heroin and someone dies yeah because of the fentanyl what a addict might hear is oh this shit's strong yeah that's great no you're right oh that's right i mean i would say that is a one reason why they might do it i don't know no injectables we uh we watched a ton of like really interesting movies we got the wizard of eyes on got uh alice in wonderland on went to went on some spirit journeys it was uh it was a real dirty an hour to recognize alice in wonderland dirty gets so fucking high dude like he goes to another place and he's not a big man he's he's a little feller and uh and it really hits him hard and uh it's fun to watch no it's been a great time um i didn't do a lot of extracurriculars but i really enjoyed myself inside this house you you were sending videos last night of how the hell that night was going.

And he was kind of winning me over. Maybe it was PKN. I was like, my idea of a good vacation is get up out of your tent and then do shit that might kill you all day. That to me is a really cool vacation. It could be motorcycles off-road or acrobatic paragliding. Those are the things I've been doing lately. Cool. Then I saw how much fun Kyle was having

in a bed, I think? No, we've got movie theater seats that recline. So we all have recliners. Except for Dirty. What was Dirty? He was in a bed. He's on the floor because he's so high he can't sit in a chair. He was in a bed, no? There was this little

fancy couches. Yeah, okay. But he transitioned from that to the floor a lot. In any case, Kyle made doing nothing look like a good time. Doing nothing is a great time, often. Sorry, am I okay now? Yeah, you're good.

Sorry, I don't know what the fuck was up. My internet's fine. Must be terrorists. That is the most likely conclusion. I'm glad somebody said something. I was just thinking it. I'm tired of pretending we all don't know what's going on. We're a threat to ISIS with our takes. ISIS installed 5G.

They're controlling the downroar rates. Oh, yeah. Just ISIS shit. Tucker, I was watching a... I don't really watch a ton of YouTube videos outside of the hobbies I'm in at the moment. Yeah, yeah. Magic the Gathering, archery, weightlifting, whatever.

But I was like, a few hours ago, I was like, we're having Tucker on tonight. I want to see what he's up to. And I watched one of your videos that was you were like doing a dab or truth truth or dab with like hot sauce it was and there was one story that like i was i was laughing out loud where you said with it was about an autograph and the pizza man and the embarrassment there can you can you say i don't want to steal your thunder. Yeah, it was so embarrassing. So I ordered pizza to my house back when I was living in Portland.

And there's not a lot of delivery places out there. I just moved relatively recently, but it wasn't in Portland. It was in a suburb of suburb called Washougal. And so there's a fuck all there. And there's not many options. I was hungry one day. And so I ordered a fuck all there. And there's not many options. I was hungry one day. And so I ordered a pizza from,

I think it was Domino's or Pizza Hut. It was like one of the big three. And of course, after waiting a little bit, like I get a knock on my door. So I checked the security camera. I'm like, oh, there's like your typical high school kid out here delivering food. And so I've only been there like a month or so,

hadn't ordered. And I opened the door and the guy goes, the kid goes like, oh, there you are. And I was like, oh, hey, man. And he goes, all right, well, I got your pizza right here. I just got to ask for one thing. Do you mind if I get your autograph? And I was like, yeah, dude, I'm sorry. I just moved in.

How do you know I live? I mean, like, and he goes, what are you talking about? And he just hands me the check and he's like he's like yeah can you just sign this for me so i can go and i was like ah word okay this is great yeah no my bad and sign it and he looked at me weird and like walked away he was like the perfect age to be a viewer and the way he said it i was like well of course he wants my actual autograph so i was like oh you got like you want me to just sign where he's like here on the check you're next to the tip line you fucking idiot yeah god that's like the only time that's ever happened never again will i make that

assumption i'll ask like four times like are you you want an autograph or do you want me to sign like i see how that would easily happen though like you have enough people approaching you for things like that that you're like oh now someone else has me yeah i'll give you my autograph i was like no idiot who do i make this out to for the medium pepperoni you can write whatever you want there but you gotta sign it you gotta sign it i mean yeah i was i remember being afraid that i had had my address leaked after such a short amount of time i was like it, it's unavoidable. He has to deliver the pizza that I've ordered. I have to answer it. Well, it's

always going to happen eventually. You weren't there very long. Oh, go ahead. Maybe I should top it too early, but as a master bowman, have you had any expert takes on the Norway shooting? Yeah. I mean, I watched the video,

critiqued his form a bit. Is there video? I haven't seen it. Master Bowman, we prefer Archer Extraordinaire, is what I am. I mean, I've been shooting a bow and arrow for two weeks now, so I clearly know what I'm doing. I did see that story,

but I didn't even click on it. i just saw that someone in norway went on a shooting spree with a bow and arrow yes what kind of bow and arrow was he using like a compound or just like whipping stuff through a recurve boat people did anybody die i have people i think five i think killed five people i thought it was more of like a a mass wounding. No. So I don't know anything about this. So a guy went on a bow spree and killed five people?

I'm just reading this for the first time. It appears to be an act of terror. We don't know what the motivation of the perpetrator is. We have to wait for the outcome of the investigation. He killed four women and one man, aged between 50 and 70. Three other people were seriously wounded. So that is... Oh, he just took out the olds.

They weren't fast enough. Hey, 50's not even remotely old, maybe. No, 50's a spring chicken, right? There earlier had been worries of the man being radicalized. By by who robin hood they called the attack gruesome there isn't really the details here that i'm looking for like the type of bow in america they immediately explained that it was they're like he was using

a bush master with a bump stock and and here's where he bought it it's always an ar-15 or an ak-47 regardless of what it actually in america yeah in america they're like check out this really cool looking gun do you remember that graphic that uh that cnn put up and it was like memeable for a long time where they showed the ar-15 and they're like ar-15 shown and then like an asterisk with under barrel chainsaw attached and it's like what kind of fucking coastal idiot with no gun sense was like yeah this will fly an under barrel chain like it's gears of war the funny thing is those exist and I just had seen one. I remember when I first saw that meme, I had seen

that thing a month before. It wasn't CNN. I thought it was some big company. It was USA Today. Regardless, that's hilarious. To put an under-barreled chain. Some guy was just wanting to get fired

you guys say today issues clarification after depicting a rifle with a chainsaw bayonet you see that you see a guy going on a mass shooting and then he goes like a finishing move like just like in case of also i added their own possible attachments one's a hydrogen bomb. I'm looking at an underbarrel velociraptor launcher. You know what? One that I saw on 4chan that I thought was funny was an AR-15 with infinite

smaller AR-15 underbarrel attachments. Modified. The one I'm looking at modified AR-15 with an even smaller AR-15 under that and the last one has a tiny chainsaw being in it. Oh, man. Does tiny chainsaw. Kyle, you know so much about guns. It doesn't seem like it bothers you,

but you also seem to appreciate good gun work. Like John Wick, you've said, is actually realistic and good reloads and everything. Does it take you out of it to see bad gunplay in movies? Or are you so so immune you're like okay well whatever it's hollywood um the only things that really actually bother me is when like they shoot a bolt action rifle like semi-automatically they just keep pulling the trigger when you need to cycle it or when they like don't operate the pump on a pump shotgun

correctly they're they're just out of sync with it they don't they clearly don't know what they're doing like it's stuff like that or when they're just like shooting a revolver like more than six or more than eight times depending on what it is what i'm sensitive to is when the audio doesn't match oh yeah if they um rack the slide on like a glock or 1911 and it sounds like a shotgun because they added it in post and it's the wrong thing it it gets me in particular. I like when they take the safety off on their Glock. Yeah. He's like, click. And it's just like, dude,

I just watched you rub the side of your gun with your thumb. Like, you just massaged your pistol, and they inserted a sound effect. Or they, like, pull the hammer back on a semi-automatic handgun. It's like, oh, it's getting real now. It's like, well, no. It's not really any more dangerous i remember like it's not about guns but the first time i can recall that happening

during a movie is when i was very young watching mighty ducks and they had the knuckle puck thing yes and i was i had already i was already playing hockey and they're like this guy's knuckle puck it's the best thing on earth and it's like i was like that is goldberg that is the absolute slowest way to shoot a puck imaginable there was no slower way to shoot the puck than to knuckle puck it like it it doesn't make sense and so that's why i realized it's a knuckle ball it's it's the thing with the knuckle puck is like baseball too or like soccer if you hit a ball with no spin on it the ball moves weird right so it's it's the thing with the knuckle puck is like baseball too or like soccer if you hit a ball with no spin on it the ball moves weird right so it's kind of like um uh one of those like a trick

play but i always predictability yeah yeah because that i remember the shot to the puck takes like 25 seconds to get into the goal and it's going like this the keeper's like uh and then it hits him like knocks him back into the goal. Like the, the way they hired that kid is like, remember he's like driving by in his limo and then a puck breaks into his limo and he's like, what the fuck?

And then there's like some hoodlum kid smoking cigarettes, shooting at briefcases in an alley. And he's like, I've found our ringer. Yeah, exactly. It's like, no,

you found someone who's gonna sell cigarettes to the rest of the team it's like first of all this guy's 17 that kid no goldberg no he was a goalie yeah i know i thought he was the knuckle puck guy no that was the guy who he that was the didn't they pull the enforcer right was the knuckle yeah. It was the same guy that was shooting it in the alleyway. And then Goldberg got hurt. And so Cat, the quick Cat or whatever, had to be goalie against Iceland. That's what it is. Iceland was the first country I ever had a dislike for. And it's because of that.

And I remember thinking, even in my head, I was like, Iceland? Fuck. They're going to be good at hockey. It's in the name. They're going to dominate good at hockey. It's in the name. They're going to dominate that. It's so good. In reality, they're probably pretty not great. I've got to imagine they're not up there.

There's no Icelandic people in the NHL. All of their athletes are like Thor Bjornsson because apparently average height there is 6'11 and they all do powerlifting. Well, their population is 350,000. They did good in that soccer tournament. Yeah, the Icelandic team in the World Cup last World Cup, maybe

it was either that or like the not World Cup that happens every two years. Their team, their starting 11, consisted of, I believe, three professional or semi-pro soccer players, and the rest were dentists, accountants, everything. And I'm pretty sure they made it out of their group.

It was hard not to root for them. It was like a collection of people that had real jobs playing against multi-millionaires. Iceland and St. Louis have about the population. Imagine trying to make a team from just the people from St. Louis. Unless it's professional hammering. Or like rib making.

It's really good at that. We have a great professional barbecue team. I mean, if it was a statewide team, we could make a damn good barbecue team. We'd get St. Louis and Kansas City in there. But that's about it. that it's just we'd win the crime off you can win the crime off nationally i don't know baltimore baltimore might have a word like philly what about uh baltimore dc detroit they all pale in comparison and when i look baltimore had more murder per capita or more murders than days in the

year for like 13 years straight i would love if let's have another city took this horrible trophy from st louis so what about gary andean isn't that like actually the worst place in the world or in the u.s uh all right number one murder per capita is st louis missouri number two is baltimore right look at us st louis at 69.4 murders per 100 000 baltimore 51.1 right behind new orleans oh my god i'm just new orleans third place a paltry 40.6 Detroit murders all this credit for how tough they are they have half your murder rate. What a bunch of losers. Like a third.

I'm running low on population. DC, 19th place. I didn't expect them to do so poorly. Kansas City is seven? I always thought of that as like the safe city here. It is, but it's there. The seventh most dangerous city is twice as safe as st louis there's got to be a plot like i would love to see a data is beautiful of like seeing if there's a correlation or causation

between like how boring and cold the city gets in the winter and how many people die or get murdered there because like baltimore pretty fucking boring and cold in the winter. St. Louis, got to be up there. You know, like. I mean, that'd be interesting. Because then you would expect. You would expect a city like Edmonton in Canada to be flush with murders. And I bet they're pretty safe. Canadian murder rate by city.

I would think the heat would be the problem. Wait, okay, listen. I'm going to tell you the highest. The one that popped up as a major one was Edmonton at 2.2 per 100,000. Thunder Bay, though. Thunder Bay is crazy at the highest of 5.5. Listeners, by comparison, 2.2, St. Louis, 69. How many people are in Edmonton, though?

It's per capita. Yeah, it's per capita. Oh, it is per capita. You're right. I'm an idiot. I don't think there's a lot of people in Edmonton. I wasn't saying all that. But that's like, Edmonton is, I'm pretty sure that's their coldest, northernmost major city.

Right? Everything above that is like bullshit. Like just freezing wasteland. You have questions about canadian geography you come to the right place yeah well like fuck it's canada like 30 percent of them live in toronto or something maybe 20 something like that it is 25 maybe is it i'll trust that i'll trust your estimate based on my guesses no it's like 80 of the population lives within like

like some like like 20 miles of the border some shitty stat like that they really should just be a state like i would disagree if they were a state then we could connect to alaska which would be cool yeah and we could make we could divide canada into 50 more states so we have 100 stars on our flag oh can you imagine two senators coming from some patch of ice getting equal votes what do you mean that's what that's what that's what we do with wisconsin i mean or i'm sorry minnesota whatever no but these would be states these would be states with like literally 11 people. And like 25% of their population are senators.

That'd be great. Yeah. Or yeah, we could break New York and Cali into five each and then we only have to make What? They wouldn't all be Democrats. Only 90. It would be more representative.

I'm more interested in getting an even hundred stars i would rather i would rather keep it 50 we combine we combine the dakotas right get puerto rico in here and then and then combine the virginias they also have a weird naming scheme no no no they do have a weird naming scheme but they don't combining them makes no. They do have a weird naming scheme, but they don't. Combining them makes no sense. You can't combine North and South Carolina. They're also the same. I mean, very different culturally. I do base it on the names. I say we just merge Idaho and Montana

because that's like 800,000 people. No, these states would be too weird looking. I don't like the way the North and South is good. That's a square. That one. Okay, that's the one I'm okay with. Idaho and Montana. That'd be some weird, ghastly monstrosity. Yeah, but look at what Maryland looks like. It's the same, just...

I bitched about that this other episode. Maryland looks like one of those gerrymandered county maps. Maryland is, yeah, it has to be, in my opinion, humbly, the ugliest state outline. That shit doesn't make any sense. Totally. Isn't it because of rivers? That's West Virginia.

Because of rivers, right? Yeah. But, like like the glorious alpha chad geometric utah which is just like fucking draw lines in the sand call today like that i mean that's a colorado utah and not like a dakota or wyoming i because i think in my head utah is more square colorado would have been the correct choice here yeah i might be because utah has that little jut up. Yeah.

But it still looks pretty good. Proud. Proudly taking some territory. Oh, you're right. Utah is more square than I thought it was. Well, I should have known that. The way we did states was like when you start on a project and you're really into the intricacy of it, and towards the end you're just like, this is fine.

I mean, Colorado and Nebraska is pretty solid. I mean, look at that. Colorado and wyoming two alpha squares yeah that's good new mexico gets fucked a little bit because they have that little hang off let's give that hang off back to mexico make them a nice square yeah i mean texas we gotta lock texas off we gotta get rid of that what if we get like an autistic president and he's like, they all have to be squares. It's the only thing he works towards for years. Like, we need healthcare. He's like,

well, we'll get to that right after the great squarefication. America is a grid system and that's how we're just going to be. You live on the 89th parallel. Oval office? Not in this administration. It's like when Norwegians take over. We've got Scandinavian design leading all of everything. That's good.

Did you make a coffee, Kyle? Yeah, I did. I just walked through the house and they're just passed out. Every step I took, there was another body. Dirtyies on the floor, like eight steps outside the door. That is just a clean crack house. You have on there. Yeah. And it's 6 0 3 PM. Yeah, it is 6 PM. So, you know, it's about time for half of us to be unconscious, I suppose. So yeah, fish and dirty are in there, like just passed out dirties on the floor. Now you're going to do a silly amount of edibles and then take a plane early tomorrow yes speaking of which let's

have a few more bites of those edibles oh yeah those tasty lawn clippings oh man yourself how many are you in now you've had one i've had two there are four remaining okay let's slow it down a bit i mean i just it's it's this is mostly frosting i'm front yeah is that duggar no i was gonna just say i'm like front front and center to watching like a live performance of like all the youtube videos i used to watch when i was in college called like by like custom grow for 20 who'd like literally his, his content was, I'm going to smoke a gram of dab in one breath or like whatever.

And then just would it be a 20 minute video, one minute of doing that in the next 19, like struggling to survive. Just like, yeah, they were all the same. I remember watching some of those two where it'd be like, I'm going to take a 1.5 gram dab.

And then it would just be them doing it, coughing a lot and going like, oh, it's too much. I want to thank my followers. Remember to subscribe. Didn't seem like they had an excess and they didn't. Like, if they were to take whatever it is, a tenth of that amount, they get the full effect of it. Yes. But it was like it was like diminishing we're turning out over the sides they're doing it carelessly they're burning a gram but they're

only consuming like 75 of it am i wrong did you know you're correct it's literally it's a very inefficient way to to do that it'd be like saying like if you wanted to get super high don't smoke a joint like pack it into a vaporizer and get every last drip of the thc out of there i you know i don't know what i'm talking about but it looked like they were intentionally not getting it all like i'm gonna drink an entire beer and then i'm spilling fucking everywhere but it's different because the beer doesn't go you can drink an entire beer over the course of 10 minutes but you can't smoke a bong after like the smoke goes stale and then you're just dying and it's not good and it doesn't work i just felt like it wasn't a bong it was a dab rig

and people don't know anything about this is a little oil it's like earwax almost you put a hot they call it a nail you use a blow torch oh wait don't you put a nail in it and then it makes it you yeah you you light up the you light up the blow torch on the bowl and then you put a nail in it and then it makes it you yeah you you light up the you light up the blowtorch on the bowl and then you use the nail to dip the the wax or the concentrate and then you go around the very hot nail and then it vaporizes okay and then this vaporize comes out you breathe it it's very very potent yes anyway when i watched the guys do it it seemed like they let a ton go to waste intentionally like someone who was trying not to drink their drink would. Regardless, they all ended up miserable, and none of them enjoyed that time.

Like, when they're drooling and snot's coming from their nose, and they're just like, ah, red in the face. I'm like, nice, bro. Strange Central had some hard times after that content period. had some hard times after that content period. He went cold turkey on it, and then he got into alcoholism, went to rehab twice. It's

not too much different than Only Use Me Blade's business model, where he's drinking on stream. Can we call it a business model? Yeah, I think we can. MLMs can do it. Why can't we? Hey everyone, every time you donate, I think we can. I mean, MLMs can do it. Why can't we? Like, hey, everyone, every time you donate, I will self-harm.

Oh, my God. And you just need to find five other people to chug a beer, and each of them find five other people to chug a beer. What were you saying? Sorry. So you guys got me thinking about this. There's another channel that I used to watch by this guy called DaBongLord. He was just a dude with a black ski mask.

But the thing that he would do is he'd smoke out of random objects, but he would either eat or swallow the disgusting fucking bong liquid afterwards, no matter what. So, like, anyways, Tosh.0, I guess, did a interview profile with him a year ago, but he hasn't uploaded in six years. And, like, here's some of the the I don't know, here's like I'll just link one and you guys can make the decision. They're short videos. But like, just some of the things where you're just like, but I used to watch them all, like, back in college.

Oh, this is disgusting. Yeah, this one's like two minutes long. This doesn't make weed look fun at all. This is not fun! This is absurdly nasty. He's punishing himself, and he's smoking out of a Gatorade bottle that he melted with a lighter and then pushed the downstem into. Yeah. Just buy some glass, man.

That's disgusting. Does this man look like the type of guy that can afford one of those beer helmets that is made custom for his glassware? Probably not. No, this guy doesn't, it looks like he spent his last money on the weed he's using in every video. Man,

YouTube, old YouTube was kind of more fun with this kind of stuff where it was like just retarded nonsense instead of like going for monetization and all that. It was just, just stupid shit, which like if, if it immediately it was just, just stupid shit, which like if, if it immediately reverted back to this stupid shit,

I would instantly regret it and be like, this is all retarded nonsense. Where's the high quality good stuff. Yes. It's, it's, um, I,

you know, I really agree with you that it's not necessarily the type of content. It was how like the thought check process that needed to go between somebody sharing the content that they recorded was about as simple as can i upload this efficiently and didn't really go through any there was no pretense or idea that like should i frame this in a way that if it gets big it looked i look beneficial or i like is this going to be detrimental if it gets if it pops off or do i want to have people are thinking things like, maybe we should think things like that guys. I mean, you already, you already do, whether you think you do or not.

It's just like, I, I, I mean, I just, there's thought that goes into the show and everything versus like, if you guys just sat down and decided to eat a thousand milligrams of, of weed, right. Like Kyle's doing without any without any thought behind why you should do it. It's a different type of content. It's spontaneous and not as thought through. That's why a lot of the old YouTube videos

I'm like, this is so weird. I love it. One of my favorite old YouTube videos is just that low quality video of a dude smoking a cigarette. He's one of those guys who looks cool because it's barely hanging out of his mouth and he's somehow keeping it in there and he's like i'm gonna tell you about the time i homeless guy sprayed fucking 90 hits acid in my mouth do you guys remember that video no oh it was hilarious and he's like so dude i'm i'm there

i'm in this i'm in this fucking i mean he's like sitting on bleachers at an empty park and he's like so this is a crazy story guys it was like one of those videos on YouTube that was uploaded like you click on it and it was like uploaded 17 years ago and he was like and so I go and I'm in this alley you know I'm fucked up already and this guy goes

open your mouth and I go alright so I open my mouth and he takes this little dropper and he was gonna put one drop in and he goes and i was like what the fuck man and it's like you know you shouldn't be able to like swallow your acid like a drink you know it's supposed to be something like that and so immediately i go i gotta find a way home before this kills me so i get on the train and instantly i'm not there's no way i'm finding a way home before this kills me so i get on the train and instantly i'm not there's no way i'm finding my way home he's like talking about that like everything's dancing like it's surprising he doesn't have like permanent mental problems yeah that is

you think that he was really uh unknowing victim of this acid it struck me as a little bit like you know they offered me this cookie i said is this a pot cookie they said no so i ate it and no it's it seemed to me like like if i was like all right woody i've got these these drops that are going to get you high open your mouth i'm going to give you one drop and you go okay and then i go ah psych 90 drops like you can't undo it you can't vomit the acid out like spit it out and cut it no i, it's already in there. Click on the video and immediately I clicked on it. I'm like, this guy looks like the type of guy that would willingly open his mouth for a stranger

and take 30 hits accidentally of acid. He fits it. He fits the mold. It's called 30 Hits of Acid Slash LSD. Haven't seen it in years, but I remember laughing at that video. This is the shakiest camera I've ever seen in my life. He's on acid right now. He's still on acid to this day because of that. I wonder what he looks like now.

Norm Macdonald had a joke about that with RIP, where he talks about acid, where, you know, they'll tell you with acid, you'll get flashbacks. Years later, you take the acid in 1979, 1991, you get a flashback. And he's like, I mean, that's kind of a selling point, isn't it? You get to use it twice. And it's like, yeah, that makes sense. I like that.

I'm still upset about him dying. Like he was someone I didn't expect to die at this point in time. Every once in a blue moon, you're like, oh, not that celebrity. Oh, I got I was using that one. Yeah, that's the one I like. Everybody always talks about the ones that affect them. Who do we want to die? Well, like whoever the biggest

producer rapists are, probably. But I guess they're not active, so that doesn't count. They got them all. I don't know. Who are you thinking? You kick it off. Cosby's back out. No, no. Don't waste a vote on him. He's like 100. That's going to solve itself.

It will. I have said it before. He has the eyes of a 19-year-old lab. Just cloudy, horrible, raping eyes. I think I've had enough of Ozzy Osbourne. I think it's time. I don't want him to die, though. Like, he's done nothing besides, like, bumble his way through English for the last 20 years. So I don't think it's time I don't want him to die though he's done nothing besides bumble his way

through English for the last 20 years so I don't think he's unless I'm unknowing I think he's mostly dead already he's pretty fried like a princess bride he's mostly dead why do you not like Ozzy Osbourne

every time I see him on camera he's just like lots of us wait what did you say and like the guy who makes the caption is that well i've just had enough of it just had enough had enough of it fuck him okay so ozzy osbourne number one you don't like him i do like anyone more relevant? Like, do you hate Chris Pratt or something? I can't actually, nobody like, I can't imagine anybody pushing Chris Pratt. I know

a lot of people hate Chris Pratt. Because he's a Christian and stuff, but nobody's pushing death on him. He's a pro-Trumper and a Christian. And also, I think he's anti-LGBQ or abortion. I don't know. He's religious. He's like a big Christian. Didn't he get cast as Mario in a Mario Brothers movie?

He did. Is that why people didn't? Dude, that casting came out. Why? Why not get Mario's original voice to do it? Oh, I don't know. Everyone got so mad at how the casting for that, because they were all these celebrities.

I didn't understand why they were upset I thought no I think Jack Black was universally loved like okay you're right gonna be really good that was the I like Jack Black that was the ones like thumbs up and then there were like 12 thumbs down they just well I agree that it's like why

if you have an established character like why are you moving away from that for a celebrity? Wham. Like, think of Mario's voice. Think of Chris Pratt's. It's a Mario. It's a me. A Mario.

They could have hired me. Also, Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong is so funny to me. Like, every, because, of course, whenever you mention Seth Rogen, you think of his laugh. And just TK, like, pounding the ground going, Because, of course, whenever you mention Seth Rogen, you think of his laugh. And just TK, like, pounding the ground, going, Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, okay, well, I'm looking at the article now.

I mean, Jack Black as Bowser. I like that. That's a good one. I think that's a good one. Chris Pratt as Mario. I don't think of him as Mario. Charlie Day as Luigi. I love Charlie Day.

Doesn't strike me as Luigi. Also, Mario is shorter than Luigi. If anything, make sure Charlie Day is Mario and make Chris Pratt Luigi. We don't need this heightism in there. I don't know who Kamek or Spike is or who Cranky

Kong is, but Keegan Michael Kay is Toad really like who or I guess he's bald why does it matter I'm trying to picture people that like I would you know what I mean though like you picture people's

voices aligning with certain characters like Chris Pratt's voice I do not picture aligning with the character of Mario it doesn't mesh a heavily Italian acced, almost stereotypical... Actually, no. Fully stereotypical Italian. Chris Pratt doesn't even check the Fredo box. Exactly.

They should get whoever the guy is who played Syl in The Sopranos. Steve Van Zandt. Yeah. Steve... Is that his name? Yeah. Chris Brown is my celebrity. I want to die. Yeah, you know what? I'll back you on that one. That's a solid one.

He's still beating women to this day, isn't he? Yeah. He didn't let pop culture stop him from what he loves to do. You know what? I lied. They can only cancel you if you stop hitting women. Jon Jones fits this bill. I know he's kind of interesting

to have on our TV. Undefeated. He just took another one out. He is undefeated pretty much. I haven't losing two fights, but on the scorecard, whatever. Anyway, he beats women and cheats.

He beats women and wins. Well, of course he does. He's a fighter. If you want to use that measure, Chris Brown, I think, is also an undefeated fighter. I think she got in some shots. Bill Burr, is he the one that had that routine?

Or was it Chris Rockman? It was Bill Burr. is he the one that had that routine? Yeah. Or was it Chris Rockman? It was Bill Burr. Yeah, he's asking like, all right, all right. I'm not for beating women, but what did you – does anyone think she came out with an apron on, cookies are ready, and then he started beating her? What'd she do? That's when like, yeah, he did that bit where he's like,

they're saying there's no reason to hit a woman. There is no reason. He's like, really? No reason ever. And he's like, they're saying, there's no reason to hit a woman. There is no reason. He's like, really? No reason, ever. He's mad about it. That was pre-as-famous-as-he-is-now Bill Burr, when he could get away with a lot more. Yeah.

He has had a long career. I would say a long, good career. In my mind, when i see him do interviews and stuff he's still killing it i don't know that i've seen a special that is as good as the old ones but still good take anyone else who's reached his level of high like chris rock louis okay that's the only one that i because he just died he's at the front he's a has-been dude he's been since two weeks ago oh when he dies yeah what's he done lately no no decompose norm never got to the level

of fame bill burr got to like i mean you could say like weekend update and stuff like that but yeah the norm like he was always more like like he wouldn't the reason he got fired from snl is because he would like lie and say yeah i'm not gonna make any more of those jokes about oj and he'd go out there and be like anybody notice that oj is murdering people and he's getting away with it yeah yeah i love the oj bits yeah um what was i gonna say about bill burr oh and somehow he managed to get like uh on two of the coolest TV shows ever, right? With Breaking Bad and The Mandalorian. How did he manage that?

I think that's the only two times he's acted. He did really well in Breaking Bad. I haven't seen The Mandalorian with him. Only two. He owned Family Guy? No. What is the show called? He does a voice on an animated show. I don't count that yeah that's a terrible show

yeah it's not good unfortunately I heard him talking about that and he just feels really fortunate it wasn't really planned he just landed on shows that happened to be huge hits hmm yeah well I mean Bill Burr was in Chappelle's show it's true as well yeah

yeah he's ordering the burr was in chapelle show it's true as well yeah yeah he's ordering the beer uh he's in that sketch and it's the samuel jackson beer it gets you drunk oh man that was why are you yelling why are you yelling he was in the simpsons who is uh who's a celebrity like obviously for i think kyle and i norm dying we really were sad about that who's another one that if they died you would actually care clint eastwood that's a terrible pick he's like 97 so i'm still gonna be bummed out man he just made another movie i heard it was bad, he's 90 fucking thousand years old. Of course, I got to be bad.

The way it's advertised, it's called Cry Macho. And I keep scrolling past it because I heard it was bad. And it's like, he's too old to be playing. He looks so feeble. He does. Yeah. And he's probably the fittest 93-year-old out there. And even then, it just shows, yeah, you can't escape age.

This guy did everything right. He's got great genes and genetics. And at 93, he's just a shadow. Is Robert Redford dead? I don't think so. So you guys were young when his career was booming. He was an A-list, A-list. And I watched him get like, he like lost his looks and he's old.

And then he got real skinny. And it's one of the few that it was the first celebrity I saw go from Hollywood's leading man to aged out in the same way that Clint did. He's still alive. Yeah, he's 85 85 he's alive yeah oh yeah he did look he was fucking hot when he was younger now and he looked hot i'm looking at old pictures of him yeah he was well he was like mega super hot when he was younger i'm getting a little too into it it's interesting the guys that want to retire early and the guys who want to just do it until

they drop dead, like Clint Eastwood. Cause like Gene Hackman quit decades ago. Yeah. But it's, it's like, well, I,

you know, you get that type of person, I guess you could say the same with fucking like YouTube or any creative, right? Some people are just going to live and breathe it no matter what, until they die. Even if it's like 20 years of making nothing success. And then others are going to be like,

all right, well, that was good. I think I'm enough of that. I'm going to do something else. Who's the Rick Moranis? He's one of these neat stories. People don't know Rick Moranis was this huge star. He played this nerdy guy. His biggest hit was probably Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

And then his wife died. And he just retired for like 20 years to raise the kids. And then he came back a little bit. They're like, honey, I raised the kids. And you know, like he just decided to be a stay at home dad because financially he could do

it. And they needed it. I liked that story about him. Cause I've heard that too. I thought that was like a cool thing to do. Like, okay, well there's a higher calling than pretending to shrink children.

No, I have to, there's a higher calling than pretending to shrink children. That's amazing. Someone attacked him the other day in New York, I think. Rick Moranis? Yeah. Why would they? Why? Did they hate the movie that much? You should never shrink your own children!

I was really in the end. Rick Moranis. Assault. Assault. I hope it's targeted. Video shows man assaulting Rick Moranis. What the fuck? How could you assault this man?

He looks like Alton Brown, but like not. I'm on the other side. Anyone could assault this man. Okay, I meant not not i didn't mean could you i just meant why would you this is like beating up a third grader could do it with one arm i could probably beat him up oh my goodness it's a it's a guy just in all black wearing an i love new york hoodie and out of nowhere he's just passing him there's no nothing exchanged and he just just just decks him into like the

side of a building for no reason it's a security cam that they're uh that so it was potentially a completely random it looks totally random but yeah on nbc news that it says video shows man assault rick moranis on nyc street that's the name of it. And it's out of no... That's scary. To just be doing your thing and then you're like assaulted. Do you guys know the knockout game? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know if it was a media creation or if it actually became a

trend, but people would just go for like a one hit knockout on total strangers. And at the time the knockout game was getting media attention i was training and i thought like oh i dare to try it on me bring that noise here i'd probably just get knocked out i mean yeah right of course you would you would be looking at your phone walking down the street and someone would run up behind you and knock you like i mean if you participate in

something like that it was like bring it to try me you're a truly despicable person to do something like that it was like that like boont gang boont gang or whatever where i haven't heard of boont gang boonk like i'm probably saying it was this rapper um uh that got big on vine basically like yelling like boon gang, and then going and fucking like a store up. Like running in there while filming it on TikTok and just like kicking,

like, you know, just causing property destruction and then sprinting away. What is this word? B-O-O-K? B-O-O-N-K. Boonk. So just like creating a huge amount of needless work for minimum wage employees. Yeah, and then like he was a rapper and like went in get to get interviewed and was super Fucking off is like so high off of I'm gonna just say lean because he was like spilling everywhere like stumbling

It was it was a whole mess of things, but yeah shit. Yeah, but yeah myself. What is this far? What is this be okay? Yeah, Is that already a word by chance? Boof. That was a new one for me too. It was a whole thing that people were doing. You know these devious licks where people steal shit from their school locker rooms or whatever? It was like that, but just like fuck up a minimum wage workers day, which is ugh. Yeah, it's like, yeah, we're showing Target who's boss. And it's like, no, you target who's boss and it's like right no you're

ruining a bunch of people's day who work for target i've seen so many of those videos i've seen those people just ruin a dollar store and it's it's awful because like somebody's gonna clean that shit up and some of these people like put so much time and effort into ruining a dollar store like like they yeah i saw one lady completely separate video it wasn't the dollar store bandit but she was like if i'm having a bad day everybody's having a bad day and she's just going through a gas station crushing all the chips and they're in the bags but you won't know they're crushed until you buy them she's going to the back and shaking all the sodas up just just being what cunt. No, she's a customer. She's like, if I'm having a bad day,

everybody's having a bad day. She should be in jail. Okay, that's the one that I want to die early. Brown can live on. It's the potato chip smasher that I'm frustrated with. I can't imagine. I would be so upset. She's like crushing all the Doritos up.

If I got home and my bag of layers was destroyed, I would, I mean, I might do something drastic. Like tip the bag up and drink them. I might walk around my neighborhood and play the knockout game. If something like that happens, I'll be so upset. Hey, you guys are cool. Nobody come to the 7-Eleven tomorrow, right? Yeah.

Did you guys have anyone at your schools who you thought might pull something like that? I went to school pre-Columbine. In hindsight, yeah, I got a guy. Guy wore a trench coat. He used to cut himself with a razor blade all

the time. Like literally? In front of people? He would write? No, but he would come in with like the scabs and he'd write words like broken on his forearm. Ooh. Yeah, he was. You knew a teenager who wore a trench coat

and carved broken into his arms with a razor blade. That's definitely a school shooter threat. There's one time he carved, I'm going to kill everyone. And I just was waiting for a sign. He was listening to pumped up kicks too. I don't understand.

I thought he was cool. I didn't, my dumb ass, didn't recognize cutting as a cry for help and a wounded person. I thought it was someone with a high pain tolerance. Dude's hardcore.

Yeah. Bro, dude, like we weren't really hip to, and I don't think I heard the term self-harm until I was out of high school. Yeah. Um, but I guess it existed while I was still in it.

Well, do you see that hardcore guy, Ian? Yeah. He carved in his arm. I'm so sad. My dad molested me. There was a movie called Lost Boys.

I've seen that. He styled after that. He had like slushy hair that went up in the front and the trench coats. And I don't know. 2024 is in that, right? Yeah, Kiefer Sutherland. Yeah, Kiefer Sutherland. You know, I had a couple people that I definitely think – I went to a Quaker private school, so it's even better to know.

And my class size was 90, 100 people. So even better to know, like, if you're putting that vibe out, like your parents know. Everybody knows you're in this school. Maybe they're like, you know, chilled out a bit. But he would carry bottles of tabasco hot sauce in his in his like bag and he would just like sip on them during class and stuff and uh he would wear all black hair slick back he was actually once again i was kind of friends with him he was a cool kid i like to think that if he really wanted to i would be asked not to come to school the next day because, you know, but he was definitely like, you know, like like darkness is my only friend type thing.

Like sat facing the wall at like lunch when it was like a normal just being weird. Yeah, I had someone like that. I've said it before at my my school, my high school. And he was bullied so ruthlessly by people that i remember at one point like i had him over to my house because like i remember going back home multiple days and like feeling really empathetic and sad like this was during like like maybe freshman year of high school i would like talk to my mom and i'd be like this guy peter like he's just getting like ruthlessly bullied like i feel so like it makes me sad when

i see it and she's like you should have him over and i had him over and it was like like we played halo on xbox original on split screen and it was like okay this number one this guy's not as weird as everybody's like like putting on like he's just someone who was targeted for bullying but number two he's weird enough that i don't want to have him over again. Yeah. Like that was uncomfortable. Yeah. And it was like, I feel bad about that. But he was someone for sure that I knew would like hit me up before he killed people and

be like, Taylor, kids, don't be in your geometry class on Monday. And I'd be like, OK, all right. Sounds good. You know what? As a thank you to you, I'm not going to report this ahead of time. Just to show I'm cool. I want to be cool with the school shooter.

I don't want him to look at me seething like, you promised. I had that same experience. I was in college. I got thrown out of the dorms and I stayed in this woman's house. She had some spare bedrooms upstairs and that's what I rented out because I got thrown out of the dorms and I stayed in this woman's house. She had like some spare bedrooms upstairs. And that's what I rented out because I wasn't welcome in the school.

There was another guy there. And now I recognize him as like super autistic, high anxiety, whatever. But my dumb ass at like 19 just saw him as not cool. And he struggled in a really big way. He couldn't make any friends he had great grades but everything else like in his life wasn't going well he would commit suicide well attempted suicide all the time and some of the attempts were like took too many pills but that didn't kill him other attempts were really weird thing like i came home one day and I hear this banging. We took a first aid kit and he was banging it on the mirror.

And I, you know, I knocked on his door and I sort of slowly work my way in. I'm like, bro, you all right? Like you want to talk about something? And he later explained that he had this weird idea that if he broke the mirror, the glass would slice his jugular. Right. So this is suicidal thoughts, but not really attempted suicide. Anyway anyway i had this idea that we would play frisbee this was the my brilliant mind at work to to help this poor gentle hey man you want to kill yourself let's go toss the frisbee bro exactly let's go out the pigskin around a little bit you know let's go outside

toss the frisbee we played frisbee in high school and stuff. I'm not good, but I can throw it your way. He can't. He was so bad at frisbee. He would throw the frisbee sideways. And I'm like, it's still closer to you. I'm supposed

to get that? You're off by 90 degrees. We're like, within three feet of it leaving its hand his hand it's totally this way it's going the wrong direction i think he was hooking on his fingers and stuff so and it's in the wrist right you sort of let it go he would just like hook it and throw it off to the total side and it's like i take it back i don't want to play frisbee you suck so hard at athletics that you should carve i don't know how to to play frisbee. You suck so hard at athletics that You should carve I don't know how to throw

a frisbee into your arm. Different guys. Have you ever used one of those frisbees that's hollow on the inside? It's more like one of those Xena princess rings. Those things are awesome. They go so far. They go far.

I can throw a frisbee flat, but if I put too much into it, I can't anymore. With those rings, I feel like I can throw it as hard as I can and it stays flat. You can throw it so far. They're really fun to play with. You know how you can do that between the legs thing where you

lean back and throw it? I remember getting to the point where I could do that flat for a long distance and for some reason thinking like that made me cool but like everybody then you see somebody do it and you're like hunched into the ugliest position imaginable all your bellies out and you're just and then you're throwing a frisbee like no girl it's like that guy that guy can get it between the legs i think i think i want to fuck that guy what are you nine at this point it's like no probably like 13 okay fully grown man and a fully grown man heaving that shit um i every so often i'll be like reminiscing about school and thinking like man that was so much fun and then i think about it a bit more and it's like no those were like little

bright spots throughout school school fucking sucked for the most part really and they would say like oh well once you get to be an adult it's gonna be even worse liars not it is being an adult is so cool yeah i can eat whatever i want that's the first go-to nobody can tell me to eat vegetables i can't eat whatever i want yeah because i i like it as bad as i want and like like it was a cool realization like as an adult being like you know i could just buy things i could buy whatever i want like you can stay up as late as you want i can stay up all night feel horrible in the morning and deal with that myself yeah that was that if i could redo high school and do much better i i'm uh i'm not a dumb guy and i'm better yet i eventually figured out how to do well academically.

So if I knew how to do, like, the amount of effort and just sort of stay on top of it on cruise control, I would have got good grades in high school. And that would have put me into a better college. And, like, I wonder how my life trajectory would have gone. Maybe worse. If I'm honest with you, probably worse. I feel like you rolled a pretty good nat 20 here. Like, if I'm going to be frank with you you there's a lot worse that could have gone on and if you had spent more time

you know who knows you don't do this you don't meet Jackie yeah I've had that thought um yeah and the Jackie thing is hard to redo in any of these scenarios but the uh um when I got bad grades my second year in college I couldn't get into my major so then i transferred to a night school and i was like 19 or something and that was the end of my 20s i spent the next 10 years working and going to night and working just go to school at night the whole time that was like i didn't have 20s like everybody else did so that's a big sacrifice yeah that sucks you can't get those back i had a lot of fun these years. Still do.

Two more left. Two more left. I'll make sure I'll have them for you too. I work like 40 or 50 hours a week, and then I went to school at night and weekends and shit. Yeah, that's a different level of commitment because I even tried to, when I first moved out here, I was like, oh, I should at least humor the thought of getting credits so if things don't work out, I'm not like two full, or three full years behind. Like, maybe I can get

two years and then transfer into a better school. And it took about one semester of doing night classes before I dropped to finish one and I was like, I'm never doing that again. Like, that's a different level of, like, commitment to be tired and then actively go out and learn and work like that. It's too much.

You're always busy. Like at work, well, you're self-employed. But normal people at work, there's like this parental notion of, hey, we don't want you to burn out. You know, this should wrap up at 5, 6, whatever it is. You know, like there's a white-collar normal corporate job anyway. Heck, even blue. Like you finish work work go home and have your own life in school they don't have that respect they're like no you have homework i'm gonna give you a fucking redonkulous amount of reading to do wink wink figure out which part of it you really have to read on your own somehow. And like, they just will take all of your life.

If you can, that's normal at school and it's, and you're paying them for the privilege. Yeah. Yeah. So it just, that whole time that I was in school, there was like this year behind kind of vibe.

Even if I wasn't like, there's a project I should have been working on. There's a test I should have been working on there's a test i should have been studying for that you can't watch a movie on netflix without knowing that there's something else you were supposed to be doing and that doesn't exist in normal jobs you know what i think is like kind of stupid is when like uber rich celebrities go back to school to like get degrees and it's like it's like well i think it's dumb because number one nobody no school in this country is going to fail shack on his mba okay that's fair

none of them are going to you're right no artsy fartsy nonsense is going to say oh defranco unfortunately you didn't turn it in on time and so it's like it's an understood thing that they're going back to school to basically get what's it called an honorary degree but a real degree and it's like like first of all shack with the amount of money you have that's a poor use of time to go back to school you know what you can do you can hire somebody who has an mba and you'll save a ton of money. Like it just it always seems to me like when celebrities do stuff like that, it's like they're trying to stroke their own ego in a way like, oh, and I'm doing this, too. And it's like, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I see that like that. That makes a lot of sense to me. But I always in the back of my head, like I want to go finish school. I spent a lot of time learning all that stuff. And I actually enjoyed learning. I enjoyed. What would you be a junior, a sophomore? I would be a sophomore, which the problem here is that that means I have to finish some gen eds, which include calculus. And I can't do basic math anymore.

And I don't really want to do that. So I'm gunning for the honorary, right? Let me skip that. Let me skip that. Let's go right into like the marketing aspect, a little more. So you agree,

deliver that commencement speech. I know. Right. I've been working on it but like and you know my college that i went uncw not that famous of a college there is a fighting chance that if i stay relevant long enough i can get one but i mean right but like i i look at it a lot like uh like a trainer right i know the workouts and exercises that my trainer is going to have me do, but the physical presence of that trainer and also, you know, all things considered, like I will work out harder and more efficiently with them there

than I would if I had my home gym, even if I had somebody come over. So like, I like the idea of going to college, but you're right, I'm not Shaq. Shaq does not need to go to college. There's no benefit. Yeah, what you want is one of those Bill cosby degrees what do they do with all those a bill cosby degree where do you get it what is that don't you remember bill cosby had like

a dozen honorary degrees from all those universities well those are commencement yeah oh my god they took them all back they took them all back when the you know they did yeah that just goes now now he can't practice law in Connecticut. Turns out that would have been a good skill to have. Honorary degree, I think it would be funny to have an honorary degree from a college, especially since 42. Oh my god, Zach just looked at his hand. 42?

like yeah 42 oh my god zach just looked at hand 42 yeah there was a lot of speeches there was this week where every like they don't count university was like yeah we want ours back too yeah and us as well and just just like they all wanted them like that week you know what if you're a real chad you'd be like i forgot we even gave it to him yeah you can keep it. He can keep it. There's like Southwest Northern New Hampshire University who's like, we need someone on the wall. This will all blow over. Walking back, it's like, you got Cosby.

You've got old Osama. I mean, old Saddam over here. Like, wow. Bad luck. Give an honorary degree in marketing to Muammar Gaddafi. I mean, you joke, but it did all blow over for Cosby. Oh, wait. But only because of that legal shit where there was a loophole.

No, he just made a deal. Really? And he won yeah yeah yeah i'm looking at these schools this school rescinded that school rescinded this school all of them rescinded everything except howard university oh howard university kept going they said he's still a bit they didn't just like no comment they were like he is still a doctorate at our university or whatever the heck he is and then word uh an honorary degree holder is all they call them it's a uh yeah i think they call him a historically black college is that the term yeah i mean yeah it is a

historically black oh i right because i remember hearing about it growing up. But he's a rapist. And it looks like NYU still has it out there. Well, so is Garcetti. No, that's my... Who's the Cuomo? Cuomo. I was like, yeah, I only know... Isn't Garcetti the fictional character

from The Wire that was running for mayor? Played by the guy that plays Littlefinger? It's Garcetti. I don't know is it i don't know yeah i haven't seen the little little finger guy in anything since game of thrones oh he was in the wire you haven't seen the wire though i haven't i saw him he was uh the wire dude he was on the plane in the bane movie he he was coming it's true not a big part though no kind of threw him out of that plane there and that was about it. I think I'm going to not watch that new Game of Thrones shit.

Probably a good idea. I think I'm kind of over that whole world. I don't trust that the series is going to get finished by the author. There's no chance. And so why invest any more time? And do you really think that the prequel is going to open up like, oh, and now this makes sense. Now that makes it. No, it's going to be bullshit.

They're going to be making it up whole cloth as they go. It's not going to line up with like the future. It's like we already know the precedent has been set. Like they don't care about keeping it true to story. They do now because they need to. If they don't, then they're fucked. Fucked. Wait, does it need?

It's a prequel. There is no story. They're not. There's no books to follow anymore they get to make it up just within this skeleton not really though because there has to be the correct build up with like like who's who's uncle and and the the king of here was the the nephew of this person like all of the lineages everything has to like match up so in order for the original story to make sense and so in a way like prequels like it's almost

like you have to be even more accurate in order to line up. Prequels are harder than doing a post-facto, right? Because you have the entire source work to say, here's what we can build on. But Taylor's right. Like, you have to create a believable lattice work that gets you to a point where, like,

you can hit the ground running with the first Game of Thrones episode and be like, oh, no, this makes a complete sense. You know, they were dating for six months versus a year that's a big thing yeah same reason i'm a little worried about the lord of the rings redo they're not going to keep true detail there's going to be like ancillary nonsense that they add in which is it's just such a silly thing to do there's so much material to cover why Why do they do prequels? They could... Look, there

are some unanswered questions with Game of Thrones. I don't know how good a leader Bran is. Let's see it. I'll just go forward a little bit. No, end it. Never again. Never again. Kyle, episode one. Bran

rolls out accidentally a huge amount of stairs like rocky ran up at the new york or the philadelphia art museum brand dies and we begin the next set of no episode one brand viciously mocking someone in a wheelchair oh i'm glad that isn't me. That will never be me. And then he comes out of his warg. We find him in a wheelchair. I like him rolling down the steps.

They never did anything cool with that warging. We had so many. We were like, oh, you don't even know. He's going to warg into the dragon, right? He's going to take control of the zombie dragon and eat the Night king with his own dragon that's what and you know that would be incredible but i bet the creators of this show they're thinking so much bigger than us

like you could they were thinking about their star wars deal you can make like a video of all the conversations we've had like deferentially talking about the creators of that show like oh you think they'll take that easy way out no we know they're working their machinations are on a level we can't even comprehend and it's like nope nope actually Arya does it well then why

did Jon get brought back from the dead your guess is as good as mine idiot like I've got Star Wars money now we can't do this again we can't do it again it's this is like we've got to cut game of thrones out of our lives no i'm watching the next one come out i'm watching yellowstone now did i talk about that is that the shit with kevin costner kevin costner is the patriarch of this gigantic horse farm ranch in Montana, I think. Basically,

I'm like 17 hours into this show and every episode is to stop a land developer from either buying his land or building nearby. It's all that matters. 17 hours. I'm on my second land developer.

This one's richer than the first. So this is the real threat. Just wait for the billionaire that comes up next. So I've described the TVs in prison before, but I think maybe I've never really explained the gravitas of certain movie nights.

Like, on a day-to-day basis, it's kind of loud in the TV room. People are shuffling around. It's daytime. The light's flooding in. But when movie nights like like like on a day-to-day basis it's kind of loud in the tv room people shuffling around it's daytime the lights flooding in but when yellowstone came on okay someone would take a post-it note and write yellowstone 7 p.m and stick it on the television and and people knew that they're coming and that all of a sudden like like they would put the chairs in like rows like like theater seating instead of just kind of haphazard because everybody's coming to yellowstone and it was like shut the fuck up all right start and you tiptoe around because these fucking felons are in here watching yellowstone they

took it super seriously this is like the the cataclysmic event yeah of like the yellowstone erupting right no no no So that sounds like a great show. I'd watch that show. That's why I was like, this is the show where Kevin Costner is like a cowboy, like, like horse farmer ranch owner who like deals with like corruption and, and like gets violent and stuff.

They had fucking that. And like, there was some other like Southern crime drama tv show that that was really popular like they would line up for that shit it was like son of the south or something like that i don't know i don't know huh i've been thirsting for more cowboy stuff i didn't expect it to come in the form of like you know 2019 cowboys but uh i guess i'm liking it it's not gonna knock breaking bad off its throne or anything but it's good yeah i haven't uh it's repetitive there hasn't been a good cowboy thing in a while um the best thing in memory is bone tomahawk that was a slow burn you have to be i i liked it i liked it

a lot i love love the backup deputy. Nine times out of 10 in that show, I'm not patient enough to enjoy it, but I was that night. Yeah, it's a slow burn. And if anybody out there is looking for like a wild, wild adult movie, just don't look at the previews or read about it. Adult.

Don't watch this with anybody who's not 18 years or older. This is a Western horror with, who's not 18 years or older uh this is a western horror with um who's who's the mustache um kurt russell yeah uh and the lead and uh several other really good supporting actors and it is fucking wild i love bone tomahawk yeah i'm being careful not to spoil i don't even want to hint at what how it goes down just watch it with no expectations other than yeah uh shit will get real eventually just just know that like when you're an hour in you're like these idiots said that it was going to be a brutal movie just keep watching it gets it gets too brutal at the end where you're like oh come on we don't need this we don't need that kind of no good movie

good man i was watching it like a 48 year old woman stop stop stop it like you're someone at like a target when a fight breaks out yes i hate that lady the lady in every fight video screaming you better be glad you didn't watch Bone Tomahawk with me. I mean, I was probably screaming stop, too. There's some rough visuals in that. But for the first three quarters, it's a nice, chill Western that's really fun. But the kind of Western they don't really make anymore. I enjoyed it.

I really like those. There's hints of scary shit out there. Hints. Hints. Like sprinkles. But I really enjoy just that dialogue where they're speaking that old-timey Western bullshit. And just like, I don't know, the backup deputy is such a sweet character. Everybody's getting ready to go ride out to deal with a threat.

And this guy's way too old. And he probably never was really with it that much as a lawman anyway and who does he go to visit his wife's grave and he's just like well i'm going off on another one he's just like sure do wish you were here he's like having this like touching moment with his wife's grave and like like every character was really well fleshed out even like the um like the gunman slick rick character wearing the suit um i don't know i love that fucking movie so i want to get a little update kyle how are you feeling let's see let's see the tray of uh you know you're handling this way better than i thought if i'm really we are 18 minutes away yes i got i got my delta 8 gummies i'm ready to have a couple

i'm not um gonna eat a ton because I want to be able to talk I was gonna say, what's the plan what do you guys have, because I was lured unknowingly into the pit of you guys just doing a shit ton of drugs so like so like, I mean

nothing, right, but like I was nobody told me that this was the episode which I'm thankful that I'm here for, by the way. But, like, what, so let's say, hypothetically, an hour left in the show, you guys are maybe not your game, not on point. What are we doing? What's your feeling?

We will either end early, or you will carry the show by yourself. Oh, my God. We might play one of those. This is where I make my stand, as this is the first 99% rated PKA episode where you guys are drooling

and I'm doing an inner monologue. You're like over there like and another thing. What's the deal? Alright, I'll be back in four months. Normally if there's any dead space on this show I think it's fair to say I'm like the first one to be like bring up a new topic, bring up a thing. You're good. Alright, if there's any dead space on this show, I think it's fair to say, I'm like the first one to be like, bring up a new topic, bring up a thing.

You're good. Alright, we can keep it going. I was just making sure that alright. When I did pot in Colorado, there was dead air, and I just didn't give a fuck. That's the danger. Do you see the problem?

You're just like, like man you know what what about 30 to 45 seconds of silence we're just comfortable with each other's company yeah we're fine dude driving 75 on like the on the highway is it still playing did i pause it that's why i'm bored i'm not gonna take a ton i'll like i don't think i'm gonna do more than 50 milligrams total i'll do 25 to start. I can engage with the boys, but not with edibles. I'm sorry. I leave tomorrow morning on a five-day motorcycle adventure,

and I told that to the guy behind the counter. He explained to me. He said 25. He's like, 25, you'll be 100% tomorrow. 25 milligrams? Yeah. Oh, on your tolerance level, you're going to get fucked up but i he by tomorrow morning i'm actually no no no no no just during the show like you'll wait if anything that's important to

me i'm not i'm not i'm on a motorcycle we need to be all the way no it's not you won't be like fucked up or anything like you may wake up and be like man why do i feel like i need extra coffee and i'm like ah it's because i got the weed hangover where I'm feeling like just a little, a slight bit drowsy. I was not aware of weed hangovers. That's a thing? It's not in any way, shape, or form a debilitating long-term. It's, you feel

uh, you ever just feel like a little too, like Taylor actually nailed it. It's like a two cup of coffee morning. It's not like a negative thing you're just like alright we're kind of cloudy foggy you'll have gotten

eight hours of sleep and you'll feel like you got five and a half hours sleep and then by the noon time you'll be fine it's just it's not you never go into REM you smoke too much you don't dream that's just that's a fact that's true I've heard that actually. I didn't want to

tell Kyle because he said his sleep has been the best ever. Your sleep is the best ever until you actually start realizing that it's not as good as a sober night's sleep. It is weed will get you to sleep, but you will not sleep as

fulfilled and as restfully as you just actually getting a good night's sleep. The problem is it is I will take the 70% health sleep, 100% of the night over the 180, 70, 60, 50, you know, whatever. Like I will always smoke before bed because I am not going to turn off my brain or like get off new world or do something an hour before. Like that's, I'm sorry. I'm just not going to do it. So fuck it. I feel you can't go from like content creation to sleep very quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Or any of that stimulation, anything like that. Yeah. So I promise I will sleep for eight hours. Uh, my sleep tracker will show me it'll be like, hey, you slept pretty good, man. Congrats.

That's another month of 80%. And I'm like, seems good enough for me, right? Passing grade. But you're never going to wake up and be like, holy shit. Like, oh, that's what eight hours of pure REM feels like. It just doesn't work that way. You know the best sleep? A BPAP machine. That's what i have so i

have uh sleep i know hear me i sleep that's the dab rig of sleeping i love your description i so i had terrible sleep forever right i woke up something like a little more than once a minute they call it an arousal it's not like you fully holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. So I've talked about this before, but quickly, I got a sleep study done, and they're like, you have a big problem. And I was like, how big is your problem? They said like that, you have a big problem. I'm like, have I broken a record here at the sleep study facility? And he's like, no, no, we get like two of you a year. So that put it into perspective for me.

And then I go again, and they figure out what that that put it into perspective for me and uh then i go again and they they figure out what the right bpap setup is for me i get one and the doctor explains like once you learn how to sleep with this thing it takes about a week to use the sleep with a mask on and breathe through your nose explain what a bpap machine is for the people that don't know sure so a cpap machine just kind of like you have your mouth closed and it inflates your nose a little bit. And when you inhale, you get a nice deep breath, but you're a little bit inflated like a balloon. So through your neck and through your lungs, it's all just a little inflated. So when you previously would snore and your tongue would be in the way and it's obstructed,

now it's wide open and you are breathing better than anyone a b-pap goes a little bit further in that like when you exhale it kind of sucks the breath out of you when you inhale it pushes it if for some reason like assisted breathing if you stop breathing it'll kick start a breath for you like if you just hold your breath for a few seconds it's like come on tuck get back in the game and it is the best fun sleeping ever so he the sleep doc was like all right you know you might get less sleep than you ever have in your life before you might only get six hours because that's all you need now six hours for you is like eight for a normal person now because i am on performance enhancing sleep devices. Yeah, it's like it's like the it's machine assisted sleep in a way that it's in a way that like actually works.

And it's not that I mean, I don't you just the quality of sleep is good. I'm not quite at the I had to sleep with a B pap for a couple of days. And I was like, I've never heard of that a few days well i mean i didn't have to i was like okay let me give this a go because i really was curious about the idea of it it's just a little much to just consistently also very not sexy you can't it's like somebody ever like whoa let me move the bpap machine i'm a hundred percent on board i had a big hang up about it with my wife who i'd been with for like we've been together like right years now right yeah and if she needed a bpap or she sleeps with a um like they're almost like invisalign

braces so that she doesn't grind her teeth and uh mouth guard i guess yeah and it did like when she talks is a little bit it's like I don't know, like a slith. When she did, I don't give a fuck. Right. Like, like, turn over the other way, baby. We can still hit this. But for somehow I had higher standards for myself. It was like, you know, like, oh, no, no, I need to be whatever the peak of of Woody sex appeal at all times.

oh, no, no, I need to be whatever, the peak of Woody's sex appeal at all times. But once I, like, looked at it through that reverse lens, it was like, whatever. I mean, you know, like, here's the thing. I mean, sleep isn't sexy. Like, I don't think, like, a better night's sleep, you, like, do sex elsewhere. Like, the bed doesn't have, if you're just, like, if you need a, I hate, my biggest pet peeve is not getting or being interrupted for a good night's sleep if there's somebody texting me earlier calling me that's not important like there's there's really that's like my prime rest

time so like if you're if you're gonna get a better night's sleep consistently, whether it's your mattress, your machine, whatever, then do that and just have a better life overall than not that. A bad night's sleep ruins your day. So if you consistently get bad night's sleep, your whole life is affected negatively. So do whatever. It's huge. Yeah, yeah. You're grumpier. You less productive you have less energy you're just less motivated sleep is huge uh but yeah i'm a good sleeper now good i gotta say are you guys

still sponsored by are you guys sponsored by a mattress company at the moment no it's been a while okay cool so i'll talk about mine i bought a i got an instagram ad which have i have bought so much shit from instagram great targeted ads i'm convinced that i'm served different ads for my friends because they all think like every one that they get looks like one of those really shitty knockoff like awful quality whatever it may be product whether it's a vacuum or whatever i bought a thing called eight sleep not sponsored by the way um which is a cover that is water cooled and heated and a smart cover right that you know adjusts to whatever preferences you have i've

oh my god i'm never going back like because we're never going to get worse tech than what is currently happening right now so you sleep on top of like a water bed almost and that water is temp controlled am i close um so it is a you can buy the cover right just the cover for it it is a padded cover that if you push your hands on either side, you can feel that it has like a plastic tube woven literally like an electric grill almost, right? That presumably has the water in it. And they have ample padding around it, but that is pumped through with a physical pump with water, and it gets cooled down to 55 degrees or up to like 95 degrees. And let me tell you, absurd range because no fucking person would ever want to lay on 55 degrees for an extended period of time.

Let me give you an idea. Is it under you or a blanket? Under you. What's it called again? Eight sleep. Yeah, actually, do you spell out the word eight? Yeah, I think so. I've looked at this before. Carry on. so anyways i got it and i bought their mattress too whatever

i was upset that when i put it on i was like fuck there's like this like weird feet not weird feeling you can def if you lay on this and you like push your like feet or arms into it like you know like if you're like rubbing yourself into your bed you're like it feels like there's a almost like a soft box spring under there like it's not uncomfortable in any way when you're laying on or doing anything but if you dig an elbow into it you can find the pipes yeah you can find the pipes and it's not metal it's not uncomfortable but you're like there's something under here, right? And so for me, I was like, that kind of cheapens this shit. But I woke up sweaty so much all the time.

I hate that feeling. It's disgusting. I haven't sweat in my sleep in like six months now. And so what it does is it adjusts the temperature of the bed. I have it at like 66 degrees when I get into the bed. It goes up to 68 when I'm in REM sleep. And then it'll like go in between for light and whatever. It'll track that, sort it out.

Like I got to say, if this is the worst it gets, because we're not going to get any worse water tech than this, like I can't wait. Five years from now, we're going to have the literal greatest temperature control mattresses. It's incredible. It's so good. You temperature-controlled mattresses. It's incredible. It's so good. You're selling me on it. It's expensive, though.

It's so expensive. It's so expensive. It's $1,100, right? The ProPod cover is $1,800 for a queen. For a queen? Oof. Yeah. So how much is it for a king?

$1,950. So that's not... I don't think that's what i don't think that's the cover that i have though i'll give you a link no i mean either way the i think i can tell you that for the mattress that i bought yeah for the mattress that i bought and which is their brand two pillows and whatever cover it came out to like 4,800 dollars which is a shit ton um which is also hilarious because i bought my casper mattress after coming on your guys's show years ago so right and i liked and i like that mattress a lot we like it too yeah so like for the cost of, absurd compared to getting a really good mattress. You can get great mattresses for $800.

However, I've never slept better in my life. It's app-controlled. I'm never going back, ever. It's just like one of those things where, oh, and they had, I don't know if they're still doing it. They had a 100-day money-back day money back free refund whatever thing and i was like fuck it like a hundred days i'll figure it out it took me a week before i was like yeah i'm not kidding i'm not sending it back my b-pad machine now i didn't pay this because i it's covered by insurance right seven thousand dollars yeah they're crazy expensive. Yeah, the CPAP machines are like 700,

like the lower tech ones. But there's two kinds of sleep apnea. One's obstructive and one, I forget the term for it, but like you just don't breathe. You forget to breathe. Like it's mental. And I have both.

Imagine, that's natural selection. Like imagine forgetting to breathe. It's like... All these people would have died in caveman age what happened I don't know you just forgot to breathe why grog no breathe when sleep that was like 5%

of my issue in 95 the obstructive would have cured when I travel I just use a regular low-tech one because it's small but yeah I don't know I was like 7 grand good god I wasn't even sold on it being a good idea yet so it would have been a lot could you do a c-pap and still get like 75 of the the plus i do when i travel yeah i have a travel c-pap my home thing i don't know

it stacks up to the size of like five big laptops like it's a little suitcase almost pretty big yeah now the travel one is like four packs of cigarettes oh that's not bad yeah uh those things look so uncomfortable to wear i can't imagine being able to fall asleep with the with the face thing on it takes a week and also i had an attitude problem. Because I was unhappy with the universe for making me need this. It was pretty apparent that I needed it. I had... Is narcolepsy the one where you can't... I mix up narcolepsy and kleptomaniac.

No, narcolepsy is when you fucking pass out. And kleptomaniac is when you... I don't know why I put them together. In Saaman? I had narcolepsy. No, no is when you i don't know why i put them together it's uh in some man i had narcolepsy like no no no you don't narcolepsy is when you cannot help but pass out random yeah so midday i just watch tv and shit and like what the hell i'm that exhausted all the time i was a dangerous driver like i would just pull over so that i didn't crash i clearly needed sleep help pull over so that i didn't crash i clearly needed sleep help oh but um because every night was the worst night's sleep of your life i love how you put that i was a dangerous driver yes i literally

was yeah they should have arrested me dude it wasn't that much more responsible than drinking and driving like i was just driving i was exhausted right that's crazy and that it's worse not like every day. So are you a back sleeper? Were you always a back sleeper? Can you side sleep with the CPAP? I would side and belly, but with the CPAP, I sleep like I'm in a coffin now.

Yeah, I can't. Man, that is like my cheat code for power naps is that I am incapable of falling asleep on my back right it's just not it physically can't do it all right so i just fucking fall i just like lay on my back and like i'll just get a nice little 20 minute right before you fall asleep but you don't fall asleep feeling oh yeah the whole time and that way like the alarm goes up and you're like you don't get groggy you're like all right well here we go but i like that feeling sometimes we're like oh like have you ever done that we're like you're so tired that you get like you're looking forward to going to bed and then

you get in bed and you're so comfortable and part of you is like if i fall asleep i can't actively enjoy how comfy i am right now and so i'll like keep myself awake a little bit just so I can enjoy how comfortable I've said, like, uh, you ever been so comfortable? It's you're uncomfortably comfortable. You can't fall asleep.

You're just like, Oh man, this is it. I always like picture that. It's like that old Simpsons clip where like he stays home from work and he's like, I'm just a big, warm cinnamon bun.

And he's just in his bed with the blanket. And he's like i'm just a big warm cinnamon bun and he's in his bed with the blanket and he's like so snuggly yeah that's few and far between usually i can't i don't get that sleepy i have so much fucking trouble falling asleep but it's not because of breathing it's because like just like racing thoughts and like not able to stop and you can see my cocaine body this is the body of a stimulant user just imagine how fatty be without the cocaine taylor yeah when you eat too many calories what's your weakness right mine is snacking at night but it sounded like you have meal- based breakdowns every meal is right lunch and dinner is money every meal i have is super healthy where do you get your calories um sometimes like it'll be like a dinner like i'm going out to dinner and i like have a plan that i'm going to order something good

but then an appetizer comes out that someone orders and it's for the table and oh okay i'll have some of this and then i'll convince myself that well you've just eaten your crab rangoons what are you gonna get chicken loser and then and then i'll just go balls to the wall like like i do that i've done that like ordering door dash and like i go to the door and every once in a while you mistime it because they're supposed to just drop it off at the door and leave. And at least once or twice I've gone to the door with – they're holding huge amounts of sushi. This is the most recent one.

And my wife is either already asleep or isn't planning to eat any, and I have to put on an act that like this is for other people in the house and so i'm like oh man this oh whatever you got smells good hey guys it's here hey everyone hey quit hiding everybody quit hiding your five-a-one's food is here and then you just like sit down and feast and you just, you know the guy delivering it doesn't give a fuck, but there's still something about, like it's mainly with pizza that that's a thing. Where like you order

a huge amount of, like you get a big large pizza and then you also get breadsticks and then you also want garlic knots, which is all just... You can't get garlic knots in breadsticks. Well, sometimes you want to... I like probably you've been proven wrong. I like to live dangerously.

Jesus. So for you, you'll just do a breakdown cheat meal and not necessarily a cheat snack like me. I'll do the breakdown meal, but the brunt of it, like what happens most often is I'm perfect from sunup to sundown, and then late night I go off the rails and I eat a huge amount of salty snacks. I don't care about sweet treats. I'm all about chips, goldfish, Cheez-Its, pretzels.

I ate just last night, actually. You know those pretzel thins? Like those pretzel crisps? It looks like a very thin pretzel. Like a potato chip pretzel of some sort. Like a potato chip pretzel, but shaped like a pretzel crisps. It looks like a very thin pretzel. Like a potato chip pretzel of some sort. Like a potato chip pretzel, but shaped like a pretzel and everything. And I got the everything bagel seasoning on it. The everything.

Rush them. I buy hummus to pretend like I won't eat half the bag without the hummus. Oh, yeah. And then you're like, no, fuck the hummus. This guy was carrying the weight the whole time. And I ate the entire bag last night. And I didn't look at how many calories it was. But, yeah, it's great.

I got to tell you, my vice is pretzels, okay? I love salty snacks, but pretzels, they're like, if you give me a real crispy, salty pretzel, I mean, I can sit here and snack for hours. So what I did was I got a little too high one night, was reading Dune, thought I could really go for some pretzels. So I went online and I saw I have this. I'm giving out free sponsorships every every every time I talk. This brand called Unique Pretzels.

They have these three different types. There's the extra salty, the extra dark. I fucking love extra dark, like crispy pretzels. And then just the regular. But the way that they're like almost sourdough, but they have the correct amount of salt, right? It's a lot of salt, but not too much. The extra salty ones, they're fucking too much salt, man.

Don't get those. Extra salty? I'm ordering these on Amazon right now. All right. So the problem was, as I was so high, I was like, well, yeah, let me just get like one of each. What I was unaware of was that some of these would come in like absurdly large multi-packs. And so I just like clicked like buy now on each. And they come and i got nine boxes

of pretzels and each box had six bags of the uh like pretzel like pop pops yeah which are fuck and it took me like two months to get through them but i gotta say i fucking love pretzels and it was not a bad purchase they're great pretzels are such a wonderful treat whether they're hard pretzels soft pretzels don't care soft the best pretzel is that big like soft pretzel that you get at like a fair or something though right that you dip in the mustard rook your best pretzels are made by auntie ants auntie ants i was gonna say yeah those like you can that's the best remaining part about a mall is the smell of the Auntie Anne and the lies you tell yourself as you're approaching it. I'm here for pants.

Oh, fuck you. Bigger pants. No, you know what? Pants can wait. I'll get three pretzels for my pretend children. And leave. Oh, he's in the bathroom. Love this. Have that key and peel spit um skip where the guy's literally literally doing that he's ordering the pizza and he's like having fake conversations

like and what do you want to roam oh you do want oh half cheese half pepperoni okay and one of those and he's got this whole fake thing going on it's great i've still never watched the key and peel show but you've said many times that it's funny i should it is it is pretty it is pretty it is worth at least a couple half attention worth oh they're still it's pretty good i assume it's from the show yeah yeah they haven't done the show in a while though right oh really i don't know i see web clips i don't know maybe the content is working who's the one who's like uh who's the one who's directing movies now tall one or short one the short one short one well and that's probably why they're not doing anything he's probably too busy directing stuff to i mean his both of his stuff

got like what was the second one or uh i don't know it out inside or no to me that was the first one. Us? Us. I don't know it. I didn't watch it. I haven't seen it either. I was hearing about Korean entertainment recently. I guess the long story

is Korea invested in some infrastructure in their country. I made i forget like their chief exports where i forgot but they made a conscious decision like you know what i think we could do entertainment and a couple of years ago the government invested in their entertainment industry and if you think about it in terms of like exporting your own culture, South Korea definitely punches above its weight class. You know, with the K-pop was one of the big things they got done. That's true.

It goes all the way back to like Gangnam Style was one of their early things. First video to hit a billion. What was the movie that won an Oscar? Parasite. Thank you. Fantastic movie, by the way. I haven't seen it but i know that a south korean movie won uh an oscar i think it was best picture as well and uh and now squid game

another south korean production is the most viewed thing ever in all of netflix history it's the best thing on well until wait Ozark is Netflix, right? Yes. Then it's my second favorite Netflix original ever. I really liked Squid Game a ton. Ozark still takes it for me as far as number one. It's such a good show. I cannot ever remember the name of the number one actor in that,

but I love that guy. Justin Bateman? Am I right? Is it Justin Bateman? Jason Bateman? Whatever, that guy's great. Don't stay home alone. Who's that fellow from Home Alone?

Macaulay Culkin. I'm not gonna be getting that one from now on until eternity. You're welcome. Squid Game is great. Have you watched it, Tucker? That's why I am currently I have just finished the second game, not to spoil it with anyone,

and I am eagerly looking forward to the rest of the episodes. I like it. I went in late, right, obviously, but I think that I had very low expectations regardless because the premise of it is not a very new one, but I'm liking it so far. The actors are really, really good. No spoilers. The idea is that if not a very new one, but I'm liking it so far. So it's really, really good.

No spoilers. The idea is that if you play these deadly children's games, then you can all your financial problems be solved. You win lots and lots of money. It was if you play this children game and nobody knew it was deadly until they were actively playing the first game. And, you know, it was deadly. True. They handled that first game so poor the guy that wrote it like it wasn't a big stretch he was broke he was so super broke that as he was

writing the uh they don't call it a script the play anyway as he was writing the the thing um he had to stop because he sold his laptop for like food money and then he got another laptop later and continued on with his writing it went for years and nobody bought it they all thought it was way too gruesome and they weren't interested in it but uh i mean it is a really pretty fucking dark idea yeah yeah netflix wanted to get into this market though like they were actively trying to get into korea for some reason and uh um for good reason clearly yeah you know yeah it turned out to be a really smart idea but it wasn't because of getting into korea right like so i guess korean humor is way different like they watch the office they called this out in particular and it sucks

they don't like we see a tyrannical boss with the heart of gold. All they see is a tyrannical boss. He's very much like their own bosses. And that's what they said. They see someone who's inept. Yeah. I don't think of it as tyrannical, but that's what the podcast I watched kept calling it.

Anyway, American humor doesn't do well in Korea at all. And so they needed like a Korean play and they decided to make this South Korean thing and make it into reality. Squid Game, nobody was buying it, but they had to change it. I guess the games were too complicated, and I'm glad they were simple.

I think it's not a spoiler to this to say that at one point they played marbles and the rules were, I put marbles in my hand, you guess odd or even. I get it. I don't know what the original rules were, I put marbles in my hand, you guess odd or even. I get it. I don't know what the original rules were behind these marble games, but all of the games, they simplified them greatly so that you get it right away. It was funny throughout the series where you can tell there's exposition added for the American audience.

Where if it were made in Korea, they'd be like, Oh, you remember playing Wang Wang like or whatever and they no explanation needed but like there has to be so much like you remember as a child playing Jing Wang you know the game where you hold the marble and you guess what is inside and if it is odd

and it is odd in the hand you win but if it's even then you lose and it's like okay well people don't talk like this but now I understand the game. I'm understanding what's happening. It's great. I'm looking forward to it for you, Tucker, because you're going to like it if you like what you've seen so far.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's a – I like it when things – I like the juxtaposition between the kids' game and how just absurd everything is and also how like somebody wasn't watching with with i was like okay so what happens when they uh like what happens if they go back to normal life like what how do they deal with people like 200 people fucking dying and then they're like they have an island like i don't you see how big this operation is?

Like, okay, yeah, it makes sense. You know, honestly, like she's like, you know how many missing women there are in the U S every year. And I'm like, okay, all of this makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Fuck it. 200 people disappeared into the night and they're, you know, all gambling addicts.

Great. This all makes sense to me. So I'm stoked on it. It should be good. It is good. Yeah. So I want to uh i think woody and i are going to eat our edibles i wanted i wanted to wait until i already

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our cum pills linked below common theme is sexual pride and confidence we're in the jizz biz we're in the jizz biz and you can too just buy these wonderful pills i got my three bottles and uh everybody here were fish mostly fish was like hey what are you gonna do with those and i'm like i'm gonna take them home with me and take them oh okay he's trying to take he's trying to sneak under the he's trying to get free cum pills from you no i'm taking all my cum pills he was so excited about the pills though because like like like they showed up and like i'd seen the pictures of the bottles so like i didn't feel like this i wasn't driven to quickly like unwrap the thing and he's like hey is that lock and load i'm like i don't know i'll look later

he's like it's probably lock and load though right i'm like i don't know man i'll look and finally open it's like yeah here it is and he's the most excited about it i think of anyone oh yeah dude so i haven't been involved in the formulation process like you guys have i'm not years into this and we as hosts got like samples i'll call it six months ago nine months ago and uh i didn't really hit those you know for whatever reason when they came in the real bottles i'm like all right this some pro looking shit sign me up and uh legit and you know what now i'm taking them we'll see what we get you guys you guys well i know what you'll get you'll get more cum because kyle and i literally tested the formulation for months

kyle measuring his cum. But you know what? You guys remember the conversation from the text with Derek and his guys. And they weren't sold on having splatters of cum on the design. Well, I am glad that I held that line. And I made sure that there are bits of cum all over the design. Can I just say what actually happened there was? Oh, my God. And bear in mind, that bottle is covered with jizz right now.

There was a time when that bottle was dripping with jizz. And Derek was like, guys, I don't think the credit card processors are – we're already on the edge here. Could we take a few of the cum stains off of the bottle and we're like in this group chat with like the designer as well who i'm sure doesn't normally work on jizz pills tka logo itself dripping with juice i don't see it on there i think there was just everywhere at one point it started with a tremendous amount of cum on the it looked like the fucking end of Ghostbusters.

Yeah, and then he was like, I think we're going to lose the jizz. We're going to lose some of the load on there and just have the tank. And I was like, that was the fastest I responded to anything on there. I'm like, no. We do a fucking comedy show. There's got to be cum on the bottle.

You can get rid of a little bit of it, but I would prefer that we leave some cum splatters on the packaging. And we came to this what I think is a totally reasonable... There's so much cum on the bottle. Why is it so splatter?

It's like you... Who's like Jackson Pollock did? It's like you like... Yeah. like you want to know why get a few weeks into your stack and you'll understand it looks a little like it used to look like if you would like if you were to spray cum on a wall and let it drip like that's what it did look like it would i mean if i'm being honest there was too much cum on the bottle at first. It was the post. Now we have the pre.

Check out Lock and Load. Should we get started with this? Sure. I'm taking 25 delta 8 milligrams. I'm doing the same. Maybe this is a mistake. So this is 100 high potency whatever and I'm going to cut a quarter off of it.

It's going to be too much. Kyle, how are you feeling? You look high as shit. So I'm vibrating. I've got this pulsating thing, this like, that I can feel the sensation in my head and my hands and my chest. I'm trying to really form full sentences in my head before I hands and like my chest um i'm trying to like really form full sentences in my head before i say them yeah because i can go like i can meander otherwise how how many do you have left to get through oh my god

oh my god no i um i really didn't expect that. I did see him. He was eating it the whole time. I was trying to get them all down at two hours. You know what? Solidarity. I'll take another one. Oh no. Actually, I need to be able to do the show.

I can't leave Tucker. So Kyle, I have a good... So you have had a cup of coffee, but thoughts on a second cup? It seems really stressful to go up there right now. I've got a flight of stairs that I'd have to hit. Have Fisher Dirty bring you one.

They're passed out. Well, get those idiots ass up. Everyone said animals taste bad. It's hard to disguise. I'm sorry I bring you one. They're passed out. They don't... I don't... Well, get those idiots ass up. Everyone said animals taste bad. It's hard to disguise. I'm sorry I cut you off. You're in the gelatin sugar cube. You know, Kyle's eating a thousand milligrams of shitty baked... Like, I'm not really

trusting Kyle's ability to bake good cupcakes, and he baked them with weed. He takes pride, actually. I'm very good at it. Yeah good yeah yeah i'm a professional here i use i use uh mason jars okay so i decarbed at 215 degrees for an hour and 20 minutes um yes and i used a pretty high grade marijuana it was 25 thc and i used um seven grams i believe so that's a quarter ounce um and then i um stick with me here and then i added a i added a stick of butter and uh i uh put put the put that

in the jar with the weed and then i threw it back in the oven for three more hours and then i let it cool and filtered it with cheesecloth into uh into the cake mix and uh and now i am very very high so do you have the delayed input thing yet where if you wave your arm in front of your face you feel like you told it to do so two seconds before it does it do you have that i? I'm like every muscle in my body is like really tense right now because I'm trying to keep from actually moving. You don't want to move. That's too stressful right now. No, I don't want to vibrate because it feels like I'm vibrating.

It feels like I need to hang on. All right. That's something you do need to hang on. Yeah, I do. that sucks you do need to hang on I've been clutching the backs of my knees like this for like I don't even know how long my hands are sore

are you like getting sweaty no I'm not getting sweaty it's really cold in the house it's really chilly according to the internet it takes 30 to 60 minutes another site said 30 to 90 for them to kick in and peak is in 2 to 3 hours I Another site said 30 to 90 for them to kick in.

And peak is in two to three hours. So I guess the very end of the show. I disagree with the two to three hours, by the way. That doesn't make sense. I don't feel like it works that way. So tell me more. What do you think? I feel like it hits way sooner than that. I feel like peak hits like 90 minutes.

Yeah, I feel like it hits me, and then I rise a bit. We're splitting hairs. And then by the time three hours later, I'm at a nice comfortable high. I'm ripped out of my mind. A lot of it depends on your metabolism. It depends on what kind of edible you're eating, whether it was dissolved into fat, what kind of fat, or if it's like what you've got with the gummies or whatever. or whatever so um there's a lot of metabolism is big though because i can remember taking a big dose of edibles and it hitting me an hour in and then by three hours in it was just crazy town which is kind of where we're headed right now you know so this is why edibles edibles stress me out

you know unless i'm going on an airplane love doing it before i go on an airplane because then it's just like i plan on being comatose for until this sarcophagus lands wherever i need it to land right but like you know otherwise it's like it's a little too you can probably do that turn the lights out no don't don't turn the lights out we won't be able to see you're gonna fall no no no turn the lights out but then it might be scary in the dark, though. I mean, anything could get you in the dark. I'm all alone in here. Should I get Fish to sleep on the floor?

Fish is there to help. I feel like Fish would make you a coffee or get you a water. Last time, the last image I got from them, they had dressed Scum up as a how do I say this delicately? A sand person. And he was... Jesus Christ. That is not how you say it delicately, sand person and he was Jesus Christ. That is not how you say delicately carry on.

That is the most ham handed way you could have said that. To put it slightly. As they say a sand person and he's in sort of he had the full like head wrap thing and also like a some sort of a cloak so i don't want to go out there right now i feel like there may be shenanigans afoot i'm in no condition to defend myself all right if you take more does it last longer no or just be just hit higher so you have to imagine like each

morsel of it you eat creating this like band of intensity that's that lasts for like eight hours that's going to peak at two hours and they're overlapping because i took them like in succession yeah so like there are points like right now where i'm really, really, really high, but I'm fully aware that I ate the last bits of it like 20 minutes ago. There's more coming. There's a lot more coming. It's going to be great. I just went, okay, Pwnage has Ari's number.

He's going to text him and tell him to bring you a coffee. I don't want that. You need a coffee. That's going to text him and tell him to bring you a coffee. I don't want that. You need a coffee. That's going to stress me out. You think that'll put you on it? What's the point? Literally, nothing better than 500 milligrams of THC and a single cup of 80

milligrams of coffee. If I don't come back in like six minutes call for don't get up don't have someone come look for me don't get up because if you get up you're not coming back he'll come back he'll come back oh he's getting his own coffee i don't gonna do his best okay you know he's he, he's handling this very well, but I know I also, Kyle's one of my very close friends. I know him very well. He is, he is so goddamn high right now.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's definitely having a ton of anxiety trying to keep himself composed. I, I think it, I mean, if it's apparent to everyone that, uh,'s he's going through it right now but i am impressed by the um resilience it was fun when we're like how many cupcakes do you have left some oh you're gonna get some really at the very least you're gonna get some really good um like 30 second videos of like two hours later i mean i think it was so funny that he was like i'm not gonna eat a bunch of gummies that are

only 10 each i'd have to eat a hundred and so he makes nine cupcakes like why why that's even more food i didn't think of that but you're right yeah he probably like got into cooking them and he's like i'm not gonna admit i'm wrong i'm gonna keep making this i was like surely the easier way to consume this much is to eat the uh single like they make thousand milligram chocolate bars i mean yeah it's a lot of chocolate but it's just like he he had a challenge in buying those because you need a medical license yeah yeah because they're like this like why sir why would you like to buy this there's no like responsible reason for that much like really truly that's so much like yeah if you're watching this and you're like

oh my god what if I just like did 50 milligrams oh yeah also far too much oh but well yeah 25 you're gonna be really high I mean I was taking a kitty amount no 10 is like a 5 is a dosage

10 is like anything that you'd probably i think of 10 is like a normal like dose like if you're buying the little squares i told dude man at the counter i had never done this before dude you are you are gonna be so goddamn high like well i don't know you're gonna be so goddamn high. And it's going to be me and Tucker doing the show at the end. I mean, I think you'll be high, but not that bad. Like, when I want to pass out on a flight, I'll drink, like, a 35 or 45 tincture.

Like, a little. It's literally cough syrup. It's so bad. But, like, it is it is it's it's efficient why do you do that instead of just like having gummies instead because i don't want to fucking like i'd literally again i'd have to eat four and a half that's just like a lot of work versus i can get a a thing that's like this and it's just a little like a little serving it doesn't taste i've never tried tincture i've just heard people say that it's kind

of gross compared to other administration methods yeah i don't know i because i'm i guess i'm not doing it for fun at that like i'm not literally i'm not like waking up like fucking can't wait for the syrup bro it's like it's like i'm getting on a metal like cylinder in the sky i just really would like to go to sleep or i've done that we're like i've eaten a bunch of edibles like right i've done it we're like i bring the edibles with me in the uber and i'm like about to get out of the uber to the airport and i eat it all and then it's like you know raise it against the clock to get through security before it hits me. And I remember I'm not doing anything illegal or anything.

And like, I'm about to walk through the portion of the airport through the security line where there's the guy with the dog that walks back and forth. And I remember being so scared that it would be able to smell my breath and know that I had eaten all those edibles. And so I was like because it kicked I waited in line too long and it kicked in too early and so I'm like about to walk through that area and like my heart's beating so fast and I'm like I'm like holding my breath it's not until I like come off come down later like as I'm landing that I'm like that was so retarded why did you why did you think that would make a difference so last last night we were in the backyard and um we were all very very high and there's like a major road like back behind the house and i could hear a siren like way in the distance and i was looking at dirty's face

because he's gonna be super paranoid because he's crazy high and i'm watching his face to see his reaction to the siren because i'm high too, but not so high that I'm afraid of fucking sirens. And he has this real – he's like – You're not doing anything illegal, by the way. Yeah. I know, but he's terrified that they're coming for him. They're coming. They're coming.

And every time the siren would go whoop, whoop, whoop, he was going – like a machine gun was hitting him. He was so terrified. He was so terrified of the sirens he's great he's he's still passed out of the floor out there i just kept over him to go get coffee that's crazy i mean oh you did get coffee yeah he's good for you man good for you do you feel a little more grounded now that you know you're capable of like getting yourself a cup of coffee oh that was a scary trip but it was important i got up there and he had he was still like half a sand person um he had the top part on but not the bottom part so he's keeping

half his outfit on just he's yeah yeah i don't like it yeah you know i think it's i think it's offensive makes me feel comfortable yeah i mean bigoted things like that drive me up a wall man you've got don't care for it what is that you have tucker beef jerky he got me one of those suits sea salt he got me one of those um sand people suits as well and i he's like come on put it on put it and I'm just like ah no there's no reason for you to do that no I don't want to put that on I'm going to take it home with me and

like a little role playing maybe there's definitely jihad role play just stepped its game up alright there's definitely a level of high and drunk, or I assume just anything you're fucked up on, where like, coffee

has no effect anymore. It just can't compete with whatever you've already consumed. Yeah. Well, it depends. That nitro cold brew shit, I swear to God,

like the Starbucks drink, i'm this is like eating sand i don't know why i thought this was a good idea dude it was it was so hard to choke down those fucking cupcakes i made them yes no i made them yesterday and i just left them out on the countertop because we got fucked up last night so they're all so they're all dried out so they were the worst that could possibly be you needed milk and i'm yeah and i'm really and i'm so high already that my mouth is dry and i'm just like corn it's like cornbread at this point are you are you are you at a are you having fun or are you way past the fun level of high? I could enjoy this if I weren't here.

If I were in the recliner in there watching Fantasia, we've got a really nice surround sound thing and a big projector. So I could go to another realm right now and have a little adventure. You don't think you'd fall asleep? No. It's not vibrating, but there like these pulses of like a sensation

like running through my body it's going boom boom boom so like i couldn't sleep right now that would be terrifying okay yeah i feel that i'd rather walk to the gas station what would you get what would you get if you went to the gas station what would you get a fucking panic attack is what i'd get like what i what i what i mean is that my greatest fear in life right now is driving i mean as well the only thing work the only idea worse than uh walking to the gas station would be driving to the gas station yeah i mean that would be a bad idea i i don't remember if we said this on the show or if we just talked about it beforehand. You have to be on a plane in nine hours or so, right?

See, I don't like that people keep bringing that up because that stresses me out. Yeah. You don't even have to be on that plane. Nine hours, you'll still be high probably. I have to be out the door in... It's incalculable. Like six, seven hours. No, make him do it.

Some have claimed six, seven hours. Nobody knows. Seven hours and 15 minutes. You're going to be packing this high. You might leave shit behind. Dude, there is no way they're making me leave. I know. That is one of my major concerns is that I have to pack.

Kyle, Kyle, everything that you might leave is replaceable. You know what would suck? It would suck if you accidentally packed drugs and went back to prison. No, don't say things like that to him. Don't say things like that to him. Oh, accident. My bad. I don't think the Denver airport would care if you flew out with weed.

And you know what? It's actually legal to fly out of LAx or any uh airport in california with weed now i have to leave my luggage here no but you should search your luggage right before you fly yeah like all i've really had are these um these pens and i've only had two of them and uh they lasted for the pretty much the duration. I smoked a good bit of... That's the way to do it, man. You don't...

Those little vape pens, disposable, single serve, so fucking nice. It tastes like apricot. Don't risk flying home with the vape pen. Of course not. Because I had Delta A at home. Yeah. I was just making jokes no one thought it

anyway so kyle you're do you have any plans after the show tonight other than to just feast feast i'm not hungry i can't you can't eat on edibles like i feel nauseous what are you what do you know no no no no no he just ate nine cupcakes that's why he can't eat oh okay that's i feel so like the only thing that's keeping me from vomiting i think is the coffee like i don't want food do you think i mean i that's that was my guess is i thought after you had that much you would definitely vomit yeah you're handling it a lot better than i i anticipated if i was on that much

like i would i'd be i'd be passed out i would be comatose somewhere unreachable like my house could burn down and i would just die i mean we haven't gotten there yet. No, no. You still have like two cupcakes yet to land. You know, they're like gathering. They're on the stack. They haven't resolved yet. As a unit of measurement, we've used cupcakes and colanders tonight. I'm digging. They're like 155 milligrams each.

Kyle's like the small white girl on that couch in that meme. Yeah, and it's nine cupcakes behind him. that couch and that meme yeah and it's nine it's nine cupcakes behind him someone's gonna make that now it's so funny like you just being high as shit all episode we shouldn't make this a thing because it's not gonna to go well. We'll just get quieter and quieter and quieter. And then eventually, like, literally, I said it, I think, it was either during or before the show, like, if I get super high

and, like, if you two are comatose and I'm high as shit, I'll just be talking to Tucker, like, and another deck list I'm working on for magic is this one. See, the thing about this skeletal swarming is every end step, you get a new skeleton. I will never let it get down to that. I promise. Thank you.

I feel like we've been there before. A tenured profession. We have. Remember last episode where we just were naming states? I love that part. I did a live stream and people fucking love that part. Really? They thought that was funny?

I'm getting all this positive feedback. What's your favorite state? Oh, man. Probably Colorado. You got, well, I don't know. It's not warm there. but i did go in the summer colorado or florida florida because the weather there is so fucking awesome wait have you been to florida much many times i love the heat i'm a heat boy i do better in the heat than the cold

like the swamp what the fuck is a heat boy someone who likes the heat more than the cold, idiot. The heat miser. He's got the yellow hair. I am the heat miser. I'm the heat miser. So Florida or Colorado? Because it feels like you can do anything but the beach in Colorado. Yeah, that's true.

Florida is awful. They got deserts. You can ski. You might as well just say California. Do you go to Florida at the beaches? Yeah, I go to some florida beaches but i don't do like uh surfing or anything like that so i'm sure like you would come at it from a different critique yeah central florida is just swampland it's impossible to go anywhere because the roads don't criss like you can be 10 minutes by air and an hour and a half away by drive um

that's a little exaggeration but not far and uh i don't know it just you realize you think florida and you think like miami and will smith and his expensive cars or whatever uh that exists but central florida is alabama yeah central florida i would have no interest in sure like the weather would be better north florida i don't care about but like miami tampa like saint petersburg like those nice like right on the beach areas that's what entices me to it miami's fun if i had to move off of the west coast i'd move miami i have like a lot of love for miami as a city but other than that i hate oh yeah but i mean i live in la so it's you know and like well la would be good for the weather too but like i just know like every time they bring up that map with you like look

at the weather app and it's like i only look at it when it's like horrible here like last year it got to minus four or minus 10 something like that here in st louis and i had a pipe burst and a huge amount of problems and like i looked at the map on that day, and it was all hellish, except for Florida. And it was like 76. It was like, that's perfect. That is ideal. You're like, you know what?

Fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. I'm moving to Florida. I'm eating Cubanos every day until I die of high cholesterol. I'm already going to lap people on the way there arrive 10 minutes early yeah yeah anyway sorry or being on a coast would be fun i guess but only if you're like being on the coast would only be fun if you're right by the ocean like if you live in like the middle of South Carolina, who fucking cares?

Like you're not bouncing four hours there. Yeah. You'd be right on the coast. Like being on a warm coast is much better than being on the West Coast or any like colder. Because like I lived a mile away from the beach, but I never really went to the beach because A, it was super crowded and disgusting. It was Santa Monica. But B, it's fucking 66-degree water. Like, that's not really anybody's thing. That's like an uncomfortable cold.

Versus going to North Carolina beach, even going up to, like, New Jersey in the summer. All of that water is very warm, refreshing. It's more comfortable to me. So, like, if I'm going to live anywhere on the water, it's got to be in the Gulf or the East Coast. Did you grow up by the beach, Jericho? I thought you did.

My grandparents in Wilmington, North Carolina. So they have a beach house there. Kyle, your camera keeps shaking. Are you like tapping your feet wildly or something? I am. Okay. Let's go ahead and cut that out. I'll try. We're going to want to

slap that. My knee is doing that bouncy thing. Oh, yeah. You're so anxious. I never picture the Northeast having warm Are you still talking about states? Yeah, we're talking about weather now.

We're on a small talk. That was 45 seconds ago. Do you think it's been a long time? It feels like a very long time. Taylor, no. The time warp is in effect. I'm just going to be like, yeah, we just said that. Are you guys ready for a new topic?

Yeah, what's the new topic? Frank Abagnale. Do you guys know who that is? I bet Kyle will. Yeah, from Catch Me If You Can. From Catch Me If You Can. Oh. From catch me if you can. From catch me if you can. Oh, yeah. His biggest con ever.

This is reality. This is the truth. Was convincing people that he was a con man. He was never an airline pilot. He was never a doctor. He was never a lawyer. These stories were untrue. During the times they supposedly took place in his life,

he was in prison. They wrote a book about him. Who made the movie? Help me. What's his name? Spielberg? I have Spielberg, but I think it's the other S1. I don't know.

I literally watched it today, though. It's weird that you're talking about this. Really? I watched it today. It's a good movie. I haven't seen it in a long time. It's not important who made it, but it's a huge name. It's Spielberg. Is that who you said? Yeah, he said Spielberg. I was wrong to correct you.

Leonardo DiCaprio in that? Yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks made a movie thinking that this was real uh he claims that like he consults with the fbi remember how that's how it ends he's like an fbi instructor or something to tell that that's not true the fbi does not work with him they do work with people like him but he is just a liar who convinced us that he was a good liar good for him the ultimate con right it's like what is that a better con than the other cons it's absolutely a better con than the other he convinced people he pulled off cons while doing none of it and while he was in well actually

how did people not see through this right away all right i'm changing my own mind i just i mean it's kind of cool to have a movie about you he was played by leonardo dicaprio and chased by tom hanks yeah and it was all a lie yes yeah right yeah it i don't know it's like the story keeps giving now that you know that the whole time he was conning you into thinking he was a con man if you guys were going to start a scam or a con what do you think you would do like it seems like it'd probably be hard but like starting a pyramid ski or like not pyramids a multi-level marketing would it have to be like a pro like would it have to be a physical

product because i think the problem here is like you could probably convince people to buy and like i feel like i could con youtubers out of their like ad revenue you know like maybe like have them set it up under my ad sense or some shit like that but like I don't think I could ever make people believe in some product or belief right like some culty thing I bet you could you're a charismatic guy like you would just have to find a product

that was like some sort of like this bean harvested only from the highest peaks of the Nepalese mountains has antioxidants at a level never seen. None of this is tested, so nobody knows. Just say whatever you want and then charge a ton for these pinto beans that you've painted. It would have to be on brand.

I'd have to be marketing the world's greatest no hangover vodka or something like that. You know what I mean? I'd have that, guys. You literally, you could be sick. If you're 16, you can legally buy this shit, okay? And then like, you know. It's just like, guys, it's called alcohol eight, all right? It's not like alcohol nine.

It's completely synthetic. Like you'll get fucking wasted. It's like O'Doul's or some shit. Yeah. Well, I mean, you always hear those stories about kids at parties getting the O'Doul's kegs as a prank from the person who gave it to them. And then they all pretend to be drunk. So the placebo effect is so strong. You could definitely figure out something there.

Guys, my mom went to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of the 2.5 kombuchas we're gonna get fucking slaughtered tonight we just gotta drink like half a gallon each i didn't even know they had 2.5 kombucha all the ones here i see in the store it's like less than 0.5 well they also have hard kombucha this is the i think if you're under 2.5 you can sell it with the regular you still have to be over 21 to buy5, you can sell it with the regular. You still have to be over 21 to buy it, but you can sell it with the regular sodas just because it's normal fermentation. Don't quote me if I'm so wrong. I didn't know that. I don't know.

Blame wherever I just bought that kombucha from because I was so shocked. That's an interesting verifiable fact you just told us. Yeah, 100%. Somebody's going to be like, this fucking guy. I think it's the same shit as having your stuff labeled as cane sugar and not as like hard liquor if you have a hard seltzer you can go like with the light beers but if you have like a vodka seltzer you have to go on the liquor aisle you can't be in the the vodka seltzers are better i think yeah of course white claw is not bad it's really not bad but the ones that are like seltzer with vodka added, much, much better.

High Noon, I've tried that one. I've tried a couple others. I tried one that was like it's seltzer with tequila added, and it was vile. Like it was really bad. I'm very picky. Vodka, it can have chunks of potato in it. It's fine, right?

It is vodka at the end of the day. Tequila, 1,800. If 1,800 ever enters my inbox, I'm going to spit on them, right? You can have awful tequila that is just so negative and so nasty. Canning it and putting it in, like, one of those things. No, you're good. But vodka, you yeah it's way easier it's like it's funny how like all these like regional alcohols from all around the world independently created you got whiskey bourbon vodka tequila and almost the world over everyone's like oh yeah the russians won that battle uh vodka is the best one it's yeah it tastes the least like anything else it's cheap it's far and away the best for

making mixers literally huh uh i some people would argue tequila i think i don't it's tequila has more of a zing to it and so like mixing i don't know what i'm talking if you if you mix it it's still you're still gonna catch that tequila zing whereas if you have like a decent mixer with vodka there's not really a vodka taste other than the ethanol and so if you can miss that is it a little tequila has a flavor there is no such thing as like yeah no i get what he's saying you can hide the flavor of vodka much easier than you can hide the flavor of tequila. For sure. So it is a less easily offensive drink.

What do they put in margaritas? Tequila. Tequila and like a ton of sour mix. And so like if you get a margarita that tastes good, they fucked you on the alcohol content. I'm fine with that. Yeah, you're fine with that. But most people are like, the fuck? This was $9.

Give me something. And then she's like, it's dollar margaritas. You're at Applebee's. Shut the fuck up. Drink nine. You're going to get the beatus before you get drunk on those.

Yeah. Oh, God, so bad. I mean, but I think tequila is the number one fastest growing and grossing alcohol in tequila is the number one fastest growing and grossing alcohol in tequila or like in the alcohol, right? From

I mean, George Clooney's what you fucking call it, Casamigos. You know, he sold that for like five billion dollars or some crazy amount. I did hear about his George Clooney tequila. It's pretty good tequila. I'm not gonna lie. he sold that for like five billion dollars or some crazy amount i did hear about who sold it

george clinton tequila it's pretty good tequila i'm not gonna lie but yeah he he made more money off of that than he made in all of his acting combined isn't that crazy i don't know how much he made like it as you know five billion dollar sale it's not like he has five billion now yeah but so I mean I want to say that who's the guy you like so much I lied and I completely boost he 1 billion dollars that's still a billion okay I'm sorry but yeah I wonder how much is his does his wealth what rival Jerry Seinfeld's now maybe maybe it depends what he was worth before cuz Jerry Seinfeld's most of a billion i guess you can probably we could go to those sites they're very reliable

yeah you know what's sad you'll go to those sites sometimes and search someone who was like a child actor in like 1996 and be like what's this guy worth now and it's like 500 million currently in prison for meth they say he's worth 500 million two different sites said 500 million so let's just say he took half of the 1 billion sale so he's a fucking peasant dude i i googled george clooney's net worth and google said did you mean how much money has George Clooney? Yes, well, naturally. How much money has George Clooney? How much does he has?

We don't know. Kyle, it is so funny. Like, we're having conversations, and I can see you over there quietly reconciling your fate. Like, looking down like, okay, this is intensifying taylor has you just kicked in at all yeah yeah i'm starting to get high yeah i'm actually i'm already high i gotta be honest with you guys i'm pretty fucking i took it at 9 3232 Eastern and at 9.52 that's when I announced it came 10 minutes early now it is 10.02 it's been 30 minutes

you know what it probably didn't affect you you should take another 25 milligrams I have to drive to par what you have to say is this edible ain't shit and then you take the other half and then we'll be ganged I can see why people

would take more. You're like, okay. This is why edibles kind of suck. It's like a time bomb. You're like, oh, am I getting high? I don't know yet. If you just smoke a bowl, it's like, yes, I will be high in about

15 seconds. I'll know exactly how high i'm gonna get yeah and when to smoke again exactly it is how long does it take to max a bolt you say 15 seconds arrival does it keep rising maybe maybe a little bit like you'll take the bong rip whatever you're doing and you'll immediately because through your lungs is like the fastest way other than you know intravenous to get it into your system and like you're instantly high and you'll you'll immediately, because through your lungs is like the fastest way other than intravenous to get it into your system. And you're instantly high. And you'll climb a little bit, but that climb is short.

And then you'll stay there. Whereas edibles, you don't know where you're going to end up. You might be in a, I don't know, you might be in an Airbnb in Colorado with some patrons just uncomfortably hot. Or in your house at Apex. Not Apex. Imagine somebody just busts in there dressed as like. Just as the Joker. As the Joker.

He's got full paint on. I don't know. Kyle, how are you feeling? Just a little. I know people want constant updates into your. Well, I'm a little afraid of the Joker now. He's a scary guy. That's a valid fear. Yeah, that was the. Yeah, you should dwell on that.

Now, how are you doing? I saw you multiple times looking down, thinking, are you still vibrating really hard? Do you have that that movement delay yet? Are you still vibrating really hard? Do you have that movement delay yet? Yeah, I feel the need to collect myself pretty frequently to keep from spilling. You know what's funny is I can hear how dry your mouth is. Yeah. Have you thought about getting some water?

Have you thought about a bit of water? Give us a review of the Canada. Is that Canada Dry or is that the cream soda? It's the Zevia. Zevia is great. Is there alcohol in Zevia? No, it's just Stevia. I drink a ton of those. I love them.

Oh, it's a diet soda basically, but it's Stevia. Yeah, so it doesn't spike your blood sugar or something like that. Kyle explained it at some point. Is that right? Tastes good. It does taste good. What does it do to your blood sugar?

It doesn't impact it, right? Don't fucking know. Sober Kyle had facts on this, I feel like. Sober Kyle's not here, is he? Sober Kyle left a while ago. I haven't seen him for a while. Kyle, I got a question for you. Oh, no.

Your plan for world domination has succeeded, but instead of being an evil overlord, you are a mildly infuriating overlord. Which laws do you pass to make everyone mad? There's an example. If you wear a long-sleeved shirt, you're forbidden from rolling up your sleeves

while washing your hands. Slowest driver gets right-of-way. I'm not going to be able to help you this way. You can't come up with mildly infuriating? Come on, you have an idea here. No, this is too complicated. I would say everyone at Chipotle is required to point at their ingredients over the screen.

That's a good one. All right, I like it. What do you want? I want a chicken burrito, sir, because of the new guidelines. You must point physically over the screen. I want that and that. Remember when Obama did that that's that's that was so infuriating oh any any celebrity that i formerly liked like it could be anyone if they if i see them point over the screen like ice cream or ingredients it's like no you're on my shit list

now i i i hate I hate that so much. I don't want your fucking finger flakes all over my ingredients. It's like the easiest barrier to not cross over. It's literally tilted away from you like a pen, and you're like, ugh. Just say what you want. You don't have to point at all. We can end up pointing at time. Just say chicken. just say fajita veggies

the pico just say i want just say i want a queso burrito and then when they put queso on there you gaslight them and say i never asked for that but i still want it and and you're gonna give me this without the queso fee and you gaslight that chipotle employee and you say you don't and that's yeah that's what are we talking have you ever seen this have you ever seen this done taylor no i mean i've i've definitely you're like acting out some sick fantasy that's what i want that's I mean, I have done the thing where like I say single meats and then they switch out the person doing it. And and then you get double meat and they don't charge. Or I'm sorry, you get the double meat and then they switch out the cash register person.

And you say you had single meat make out like a bandit. You're saving two dollars for the extra meat fee. That's a lot of dollars for meat fee. That's what it costs. Yeah, yeah. But you can save that $2 if you're duplicitous. If you go into Chipotle with a plan. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm definitely hot at this point are you a little bit a little bit but i've been balancing it out i have enough

white claws in me that i'm not going to shut up oh yeah yeah i need to get some more you need to have some more of those except i i think there's ruby grapefruit left in my fridge I got through this ruby grapefruit but that's just the worst flavor of them it's not good lime that's the king flavor how you doing champ oh I'm feeling

just fine as frog here fine as frog oh it's exactly what we said it would be frog hair. Penis frog. Oh, it's exactly what we said it would be. Kyle unable to speak for hours at the end. What are you drinking, Tucker? Beer?

You're always having something fun. Yeah, just a beer. La Fin du Monde. It's my favorite beer. La Fin du Monde. What kind of beer is that? I don't know. Fucking a triple. But it's from Ontario, I think.

And pretty good beer. It's not one of those gross, way super high alcohol content. It is. Oh, yeah. oh yeah oh yeah those are horrible you know what i tried recently was soju which is soju is dangerous with like peach or uh like mandarin or whatever i've never had that i very good i just like uh bought a bottle at the store and it's called like the brand was like jinnisu or something like i guess they're a big brand of it and it is i think you're supposed to take shots of it and so i was like excited to try it and so i took a shot of it and it is it's disgusting it is no it's it's it's really bad like my wife and i tried it was it cloudy

no it was it was clear and so we both poured a shot of it and i was like this is like supposed to be like a fun like korean drink and like it's only 20 alcohol and so like a vodka shot is 40 but it has all of the bad taste of a 40 shot of vodka and you're getting half of it and we both agree like i think it's still sitting in there like i don't probably just throw it away it was horrible yes this is my favorite all right so you're spot on right like like rice wine it's because it's rice wine um um soju and sake are kind of no matter how they're made they kind of all do inevitably taste like a watered down vodka shot right yeah but without the flavor.

So you've got to throw lemon in there at the very least. But also, they make flavored soju and flavored sake that I swear to God, I mean, you're just going to drink the whole bottle yourself. You're going to get wasted. It is the most dangerous thing, I think. You go to a green barbecue. I would try that. Get the flavored version.

It's a whole different ballgame. And they come in little bottles, too. Yeah, but that little bottle is like a bottle of wine. Yeah. Oh, I knew immediately how alcoholic it was when I tasted it. I thought it was way more than it was. Oh, yeah. But I mean, oh my god.

Awful hangover, because there's so much sugar to make that tastes good but giving sugar goes with hangover hand in hand that's the 100 there's you literally could not convince me otherwise no even if there was a scientific study that came out that was like no i just say like i'm dying on this hill like anecdotally i can't do it that would be the fakest news ever it's like every everybody knows this like if you know you're sounding a lot like trump if you were if you were everybody talks about it lots of people i got i got fucked up on on soju and i hated it like that that's what

it is it's not like you get fucked up on vodka just regular ass vodka the same amount of alcohol right you're gonna feel way less terrible than you would if you drank uh mike's hard lemonades that's like the one i can think of like the sweetest thing you drink a bunch of those you're gonna feel it's that and dehydration yeah it's that dehydration you got to make sure you're hydrated that's why i preach to the day that i die you drink vodka waters vodka water is the sole drink you should drink when you're out with your purpose. There's because there's two types of drinking. There's drinking because you want to enjoy it, et cetera. And then there's drinking because you're going to be drinking for a long time.

You're going like you're at a right. Sometimes you drink so you don't get so high you can't talk on your podcast. Right. Exactly. So then here you are. But yeah, it it's not good but it gets the job done so now i think with soju i've tried all the main kinds because i've tried uh sake sake is just the grossest thing imaginable it's fucking disgusting wait war did you get it warm or hot or cold? I got it warm at a Japanese place. I'm down with it, right?

I can get behind it, but it's not my personal choice. I just flavored, though. I don't know how strong sake is. Is it like a vodka? It's very similar. No, no, no. I think it's also like 20%, 25%. But it's like if they melted down a ring pop of green apple

and then make it alcoholic. I'm telling you, it's like that level of strong flavor. That doesn't sound bad. I mean, it's like Jolly Rancher in liquid form but alcoholic. And you're like, all right, they nailed it. So good. So good. Kyle, you've probably not been having drinks at all over

there just just enjoying the week not just talking about tonight the whole couple weeks you ever get like a nice dinner with the beer or anything nope all right thanks for that all right back to you taylor back to you taylor how are you feeling are you starting to you're getting grossed in the high a little more indubitably yeah they're just i have to pee really bad but i don't want to get up

stay right where you are I have to pee really bad, but I don't want to get up. Because I'm fucking... I'm fucking talking. Stay right where you are. You can pee right there, Danny Mullen. Just give a topic. Oh, no. What's wrong, Kyle? Do you have to pee also? No, no.

We just lost our talker. It's okay. Do you have a topic that you would like to discuss? God? No, I was going through the AMAs, but I can't find. Okay.

Did you get, you guys want to talk about how the NFL is shielding the Washington football team from human trafficking and in exchange is now trying to scapegoat the Raiders football, former head coach by exposing his homophobic and racist remarks, trying to divert attention away from the Washington football team's owner who literally put cheerleaders overseas

and then took their passports and held them and then had them take topless photos and shit. And all this is being swept under the rug. Not really. It's very prominent news right now. But under the rug not really it's very very very prominent news right now but all i'm hearing is how cool the owner of the washington football team is dan snyder is the worst human such a awful the worst human be fondled by so many teenage cheerleaders well he didn't say teenage by so many no I don't think he was the one involved with it I mean I

mean not in that way maybe he was I don't know I didn't who did it then I maybe I missed the story everybody who brought the girls over the Washington the Washington football team formerly known as the Redskins oh did the players do it is that what you're saying I got a fucking no yeah the team I'm glad I'm

not the only one having a hard time following this. Okay. Yeah. He said the team did it, but that's the team is not an entity that can do things. It has to be a person. Hey, fucking Taylor.

We're talking about the Washington football team and the cheerleaders. Can you, they're the, you've heard about this, right? I don't know what their cheerleaders. Oh, are they all men now?

Is that it? Yes. There's topless photos of these dudes and it's an issue. Oh, so the Redskins cheerleaders dropped and they're all naked? No. What actually happened is the team or someone associated with it brought over cheerleaders in a human trafficking conflict issue, whatever. And Tucker

thinks that they are talking about John Gruden's racist email from a decade ago to divert attention from the human trafficking of cheerleaders. That makes a huge amount of sense. I buy in immediately having just heard about this.

And it's not even me. I'm just I thought that this was something that was more prevalent and that at least one of you would have heard of the news of the week in the national football team. America loves football. Yeah, I did not hear that. But if some racist email suddenly cropped up from years and years ago as soon as this happening, yeah, that's why. No, they found it after surveying

I think the FBI or somebody raided the Washington football team's headquarters, which is very interesting. And then the NFL searched through 650,000 emails, which is so great. And then, um, the NFL, like search through 650,000 emails, which is so great.

We get email drama in the NFL. Like this is come on baby. And, uh, and, and, uh, and they found a bunch of racist and like homophobic and like,

like literally somebody was like, he hit for the cycle from all of like everyone, everybody should hate him from saying all these things and so yeah he got fired but like then the nfl was like okay and that's enough of that and we're not going to talk about the washington and that's play you know i yeah they were like all right that's enough justice for today they don't have a new name yet for the washington football team but if they went from redskins to just the Skins, and it was a guy with like a swastika on his forehead,

think of how funny that would have been. Where they're like, we've heard you and we have responded. And then it's just Schillinger from Oz. Oh my God. It's a good idea. Upset everyone. Did you see the potential names? Because I personally hope they keep it the football team because it's so fucking bland

and stupid. To me it's classy and old time. Like a team that would come... a name from the 1930s. Yeah, and I think that they should take the XFL team the Red Wolves or whatever the hell that is and just... XFL team, the Red Wolves or whatever the hell that is, and just, you know, or the Warriors or the

like, yeah, anything else. I think the XFL had team names like the San Diego Murderers. As they should. That would be pretty cool. The Washington Murderers. Oh, dude, upset

everyone even more. The Washington Bombers. The Washington Bombers. The, dude, upset everyone even more. The Washington bombers. The Washington bombers. The Washington drone strikes. Dude, the Washington drone strikes. Dude, there are so many names you could use to upset everyone. That would be funny. That's pretty stupid of them to have stayed Washington football team for this long. You would think that given the controversy, they would have had like names in the chamber to immediately be capitalizing

on. I don't know. You would think that, but I also think that they, it took a lot of effort for them to make them change it. Like a lot. Like unnecessary. How about,

how about the Washington colonizers? I'm down for it because they're like, we're going to take over our division. We're going to take over this league. We're going to conquer our division. We're going to subjugate their women. We're going there. Your stadium becomes our stadium. All right. We travel

to every opposing home game. It's not only are we playing the Lions today, we're going to burn down their houses afterward and take their children for our own. It's actually just the Raiders fans. There's nothing different. These are good names.

They need to hire Tucker and I at NFL to do that. You can rename all the teams. The murder games. The murderers. It's just crime themed. Felony football would be such a good idea. Felony lights was a good idea.

Oh yeah, that's also good alliteration. But this is much better than that. But this is no pad football. Yeah. Only, there's a rule rule you can have one knife per team but no one knows where it is or who has it can we get a wild card ball is actually the knife it's actually dodgeball now could we have a wild card type situation where someone had a gun yeah like yeah from the audience a randomly selected person was uh he was a great he was a great quarterback no one could take that away from him but what put him held in shoulders above the rest it was the gun that's so good

like seat number six five four you've won the 50-50 raffle. The gun is also on its way. So shoot some people. We don't care. It's just like, all right. The NFL, we're losing ratings. The new league where one fan from each team is given a tranquilizer dart and a blowgun they can use at any point.

Oh, they darted the ref? Yeah. Once again, the Raiders target the ref. There's players dead on the field. Very prudent move, very prudent from the Raiders. I mean, the NHL just started their new contract with ESPN instead of NBC. Oh, no, How is it going? I didn't realize how bad NBC was at promoting the NHL until ESPN takes it for one day.

They get control of it, and they promote the first game of the season. They have Charles Barkley in goalie gear taking shots from Wayne Gretzky, and it's like, oh, this is what promotion is like. This is what a successful sports empire does. They put all their effort behind something because, I mean, obviously, NHL is going to be on SportsCenter and everything now, so they have to amp it up. They have to get it popular to drive people more.

I think the first game of the season under ESPN, they did such a great job marketing it. It was a regular season game between the season under ESPN, they did such a great job marketing it. It was a regular season game between the Washington Capitals and the New York Rangers. Second highest rated regular season game of all time. Their first one. And it goes to show,

NBC didn't give a fuck. They weren't doing a good job. At one point a few years ago, they had New Jersey Devil games on the Outdoor Channel. Well, you assumed intent. They could be incompetent. They don't have to not care. That could be it. At one point a few years ago, they had New Jersey Devil Games on the Outdoor Channel. Well, you assumed intent. They could be incompetent.

They don't have to not care. That could be it. It could be that their priorities are so skewed. I mean, NBC has the Olympics, and so maybe they're focusing so much on stuff like that they don't care. But can I tell you a tale of two, whatever the fucking saying is, right? whatever the fucking saying is, right? But ESPN has Monday Night Football, and it's the worst out of all of the, you know, Fox, NBC, CBS, whomever's doing it.

ESPN's Monday Night Football is, like, legendary bad. The commentary is bad. And you'd expect them to be very good or at least decent, but, like, more commercials than anybody. It's just a pain in the ass so it's crazy to hear that they're doing that much for hockey but like if hockey didn't have any support to begin with maybe espn is a step up from whatever they got yeah yeah for sure i mean it is far and away the least popular of the four major sports here and so they need the help they can get yeah

but it's it's neat like it'll be fun because apparently Charles Barkley and Wayne Gretzky are, like, really good friends. You know what? Off screen, which is funny. Do you think there's, like, a friendship app for, like, formerly, like, giga famous people? They're just, like, kind of hella lonely and they're just like, all right, Wayne, like, you want to get some wings? Like, I don't know. Like you want to get some wings? Like,

I don't know. Oh, the dude, dude, Wayne Gretzky best. No one in any of the four major sports, or I would say even soccer knowing nothing has ever dominated a sport as soundly as Wayne Gretzky did. No one.

Maybe. And every time I don't know how good Wayne was. So Wayne, it's a, it's a common thing to say, but Wayne, the way you score points in hockey is one point for a goal one point for an assist assist meaning that you pass it to the person and then they score

okay and Wayne Gretzky is so far ahead of everyone in point totals over career he has the most goals by almost a hundred and even if you were to remove every goal he ever scored and just counted his assists he would be far and away the number one scoring person of total points so everyone else gets to keep their goals and their assists you remove 900 goals from him he's still in first place so if i mean you're right that is so unbelievably dominant i'm trying to think of who like i was gonna say like that's more dominant than jordan or lebron that's like it is yeah that's like you are like the best player in the history of the sport yeah it's not even close like like having 200 points in an 82 game season is like considered the most outrageous i think we'll never see that again somebody's gonna bring up boxing i don't

believe that that would also equate right like i think also it well i mean it's it's incredible right but also i feel like with the amount of hockey players given the opportunity to stand on that podium there are not nearly as many boxers right that like true right you just you could be incredible but you're not if you're fighting in the amateur leagues i don't know you're just not prolific even if you're incredible yeah but like it was funny like seeing how they promote like but i was saying like wayne gretzky best player of all time he has the charisma of a wet bag like he and like so much of it you can tell he's uncomfortable because they're like trying to pump his tires during the broadcast and make him the guy.

And Wayne did this and Wayne did that. And he's so clearly uncomfortable with all the praise. He's like, yeah, yeah. Well, Charles was incredible in the NBA. Do you think that he lacked charisma or he intentionally didn't hit it back? No. Having watched enough interviews with him him he's just not that charismatic a guy i watch f1 and there are a bunch of drivers there who just the opposite of hit it back they

intentionally do everything they can to be the driest you don't want to talk to me anymore interview that's a big alpha flex that's like a stop interviewing me and i love it for them because honestly i feel like if you're at that point like i would you know it's like the kanye west just like hey how you doing all right i got nothing out of that maybe i don't ask him the next time yeah yeah and and that's what these f1 drivers are doing but i'm a new fan and i want to meet these people oh and you know it's like hey how was the race and they'll either give you the like the platitudes that don't mean much or everything is so soft and they they won't even smile for a picture like hey you know picture all right can

you smile for this one just like it's like a rude level of disconnection it's yeah they're european gretzky was was gretzky was nothing like that like he was clearly out of place didn't like they're trying to make him and like charles barkwell charles barkley's obviously already tremendous at his job he's hilarious and they're trying to like get wayne involved currently they are yes yeah like right now like just last night like during an intermission or something they had wayne shoot five pucks on Charles Barkley in goalie gear. And he scored four out of five, except the one that he didn't score actually went in.

And Wayne is such a I'm just about the sport and about that thing that he was like, Charles, you dropped that one in the net after it hit you. That's a goal. And everyone was like, no, that's a save for Charles that's the same for Charles wow Charles Barkley and so like he like and like quickly like Wayne Gretzky's like oh this isn't about the game we're playing right now it's about the broadcast yeah it's probably better if he saves one like I it was he just like in my head he's just ripping it at charles like mercilessly he was shooting it so gently but because he can pick exactly where on the net he wants to hit it he can shoot it at

15 miles an hour in an area where charles barkley is too immobile to move and so he just did that but hopefully they continue it because i'm looking forward to to those espn highlights and everything they just like i i remember watching ESPN as a kid and being like, God fucking damn it. They do such a good job. I don't even care about football, and these highlights are awesome. I don't give a shit about basketball, but these highlights are so cool. I wish they did this for hockey.

Why don't they do it for hockey? At the time, I had no idea they didn't have a contract with the NHL, so they went out of their way to not play anything from it because what's their incentive? Yeah. Well, people are interested in it, and they watch your show because they're interested in hockey but hockey people aren't watching espn because they know that it's not there ah chicken and the egg issue right yeah a little bit because like you look at the round table like i don't know anything

about the nba but i know they're like mid--game banter is unmatched and hilarious. Largely because of that guy Charles Barkley. It's so good. It's really, really good. Sometimes they take the banter guys and have them do the whole game, and it's really, really bad. Well, you know what's great? The NFL has started letting Peyton Manning

and his brother Eli Manning do these literal sidecasts where they'll be streaming their version of it so it'll be almost like a twitch stream where they're they're like they're in a zoom call and they'll have random random people come not like celebrities like LeBron may jump in or like some some coach or whatever and it's just like a bunch of like two retired brothers just spilling just random industry like stories and just goofing off and and it's just like a bunch of like two retired brothers just spilling just random industry like stories and just goofing off and and it's like seeing that real side of of people like i think

they crushed it i think they had a million concurrent viewers on what in their last holy shit thing so i was like oh like people give a shit about this i gave a shit about it it was better than the original broadcast for a game that i didn't really care about. I'm just as a viewer, I'm like, what's interesting? It's Twitch. It's the that idea of it. A million concurrence. Yeah, that's insane. I'm impressed they have the infrastructure for it.

Me, not me, too, because they they service a fuck ton of people with like all of it's the NFL. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess I think of them like a big stream is like a quarter million and they get those every so often and they had to be prepared for it. But are you talking about Twitch or something? Yeah, we're not. No, no, it wasn't on Twitch. No, no, no. I mean, there's a million concurrents.

Yeah, on like like on the live stream that they were doing, like Thursday Night Football is live right now. It's got 31,000 on the main channel, but, like, Nick Marks or other people are streaming it, whatever. Either way, I wasn't talking about that. I was saying that when the Peyton Manning stream, the ESPN or whatever stream that the Fox, I don't know what, like, service they were doing, and on that stream got a million concurrent, like, viewers.

So it wasn't even on my game. But I didn't keep up. I think it's me, not you. No, it's probably me. It is probably me. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure you're the most cogent one of us right now. I'm trying to keep up, I swear to God.

Even drinking your duet of mald. I've got my Canadian French beer. They're just saying sorry every time i take a sip does it come in one of those like giant bottles yeah with like of course it does yeah so it's way too strong yeah but it's so good man i love it so much because like all you need to do is drink this and then it's like all right that's enough there's no like you don't need there's you're good i mean it's like drinking a whole bottle of wine at that strength.

Pretty much. No. Is it not the size of a bottle of wine? I don't know. No, it's not anywhere near. But either way, it's definitely, it's two pints or a pint in like nine ounces or whatever. So it's like. I've given up on liking wine.

I love it. I just don't like it very much. Kyle, do you like wine? No. You're going to, this is audio based, my friend. You're going to have to give me an answer. I love it Kyle do you like wine? no this is audio based my friend you're gonna have to give me you're gonna have to no I don't like wine

do you like a thousand milligrams of weed? oh I'm just real goddamn high expand what's it like to be that high? oh it's real difficult I used to hate being interviewed when i was like super high yeah i hate i hate witty's creepy interview voice yeah i'm sorry what if we did like uh what if we did like uh

into a sedan late at night that's what he's high voice don't blame him yeah yeah scary you know we're we're fawning over Kyle with 1,000 milligrams. Woody, you're handling this way better than I thought you would. Like 25 off the cuff, not having any tolerance. Like, I thought you were going to be donezo. I'm not doing anything. I'm, like, doing the same thing Kyle's doing. No, you're not.

Kyle's fighting for his life, Woody. That's going to be in the description it'll be in the description at like 4 hours and 48 minutes it'll be like Taylor and Tucker talk for an hour and 14 minutes or whatever

I wanted to prove it was real but I kind of already we all know you did it is visibly real my favorite is that it looks like a rapper no you're just stoned how are you feeling woody like you're not you're not vibrating or anything you're not that high you're just feeling out of it sleepy no not i mean i don't know i'm just uh um like the anxiety is a little gone. I feel less pressure to

actually do this show while recording. I, uh, you almost said the F word right there. There is a thing where if I twist my head, like I kind of feel the, the, I don't know if I'd say delay like you did, but it's the best thing I have right now. Like there's a sort of like, ah, yeah, that was just a warped perception. It's not the way it should be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And, um, uh, I don't know. Mostly I'm just like, I got, I got a case of the whatevers.

I mean, there's a reason that's like the stereotype for it is you get high as shit and suddenly you're like, you know, I don't strictly have to do anything I can just watch Trailer Park Boys

I mean ideal right somebody used to joke around that it would it would make nothing like at least entertaining so like if you didn't have anything to do it would make something out of nothing you could just do it and like at least entertaining so like if you didn't have anything to do it would make something out of nothing you could just do it and like at least at the bare minimum you could just

kind of do nothing and that would be better than whatever doing nothing you were doing before south park says that they give the speech on the kids and they're because at first they try to convince kids but also like that will what that'll just about kill you and they see that's not true and at the end he wraps up and you know he's like you know it's not gonna kill you you might like it might if you do it like kyle is doing but if you do it all the time or do it too much then you don't do anything and you're just okay with not doing anything and become what you could be. That's what it says. I'll stop. It makes you okay with complacency if you do it too much.

Sometimes. If you're high 24-7, you're probably not getting a lot done. I know there are people out there that are going to be like, I smoke every morning a dab and I'm productive as shit. Those people are out there. People like Joe Rogan are out there who are high all the time and build a $100 million podcast empire.

That person is not the norm. That's not you. That's not the norm. You are not Joe Rogan. Those people get to do it because they are that rich. It's not because you have the same work ethic. You can have the same work ethic but

he doesn't have to do much more. Joe Rogan like a very successful actor and show host by the time he was in his mid-30s and he didn't smoke weed until after that so it's like oh you know it's not like he was toking up as don't ruin your life kids don't smoke weed or don't smoke weed responsible also why didn't you tell me this 30 minutes ago take your prescribed adderall though yeah yeah if you're getting 30 millig drink uh smoke as if you take adderall just uh take as much weed as you take adderall one time some kids like i've got 80 milligrams to my name dude i remember in college like i was never you know i i don't like any kind

of stimulants or anything i like mellowing out but i remember like before tests and stuff someone would give me like a 30 xr i think 30 is a pretty common one right 30 extended release for adderall and i would take one and it would like get to be the end of the night and i would always tell myself i can just smoke my way to sleep if i smoke if i smoke enough weed but like right the the weed guy coming in to fight the adderall guy it is not even close to a match the adderall guy's pulling his eyes out like a chimp ripping his dick off murdering him and then i take another hit and i send in another weed guy. That guy gets fucked up the same. And you just take hits.

I remember doing this. I remember I had a test at like 8 a.m. And I had taken the Adderall. And it was like midnight. And I was like, there just has to be an amount of weed I can smoke that I can go to bed. And I couldn't. I didn't.

I stayed up all night. I was high as can be. But like it wasn't the kind of high I was't. I stayed up all night. I was high as can be, but it wasn't the kind of high I was enjoying. It was just the bad parts of high because the Adderall was beating down all the relaxation. Kyle's like, the bad parts you say.

Now, Kyle, you're looking pensive. I'm sure you have something to say. Oh, so many things. What's the first thing? Very high. Very, very high very very very high nice what's the second one it's pretty much just the one thing really that i had to say there um just it's gonna be a long night are you having a are you having disjointed thoughts? Like thoughts that don't make much sense and then you have more of them like racing thoughts or no? No.

I don't know. No thoughts. Can't really put this into words at the moment. You've taken the amount of weed to fucking hallucinate. Yeah, I'm not having a good time. It doesn't seem like you are. Which guess which i guess is what

people wanted to see you so fucking high that you're just crippled by it have you thought we're gonna take a break after this yeah you are have you thought about what you want to do when you're done with the show because you've got a lot of time to maybe relax and i'm going to go get in the bed that's over there behind the camera in the sheets and chill the fuck out and try and fall asleep that's not gonna happen yeah but what about what about what about snacks i want any snacks i just don't want snacks huh what's that like i feel so sick sick yes oh that sucks do you feel like you're gonna i i'm genuinely surprised you haven't vomited i called that you would vomit from it but i'm pretty shocked now now you're too deep into the digestion for vomit to even matter.

That's good. Yeah. So are you feeling nauseous or just upset general? Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. All of that. You got Pepto-Bismol? We're not moving. We're stationary.

I'm so not jealous of where you are right now. I'm trying to walk the line between. Because like, oh no, if it isn't the consequence of my own actions. Like who could have seen this coming? Who could have seen this coming? Yeah. But also, at the same time you got some water water around because you've been drinking the carbonated

cream soda it's going to continue in that way I'm not moving the water is just as far as the coffee and I'm not going there for a long time can you have any of these fellas bring you something no no I'm too paranoid for that right now i can't

have them creeping around on me i i messaged them on discord i don't do that don't do that no this was hours ago what do you what do you what do you paranoid like what could possibly paranoia you because you are legally no i have to do everything it sounds like it sounds like taylor's got some kind of a plot against me to send people in here. I thought you were going to fall asleep way earlier. And so a while ago, I messaged the Discord and was like, if anybody has the number of someone there right now, can you please text them and have them make him a cup of coffee?

No, this was hours ago. If it was going to happen, it would have happened. No, I know. I was up there getting the coffee, and Fish was like, he was running in there to make some coffee i'm okay like i'm really fucking high but i'm able to do like normal things do you think you'd be able to enjoy like a show or anything at this level are you out of your goddamn mind wait i can't i can't enjoy sitting still are you gonna want to have your eyes open

or your eyes closed? It's going to be a mixed bag. What do you wish you were doing right now? Hold on. I have a good rec. Have you watched Samsara? I'm not watching anything. There's no speaking in it. I don't want to watch anything.

I think I'm going to watch... It's 4K cinematic shot. Oh no, that'll terrify me. in it. I don't want to watch anything. I think I want to watch like... It's 4K cinematic shot. Oh no, that'll terrify me. I can't deal with that. You're right. There is like a meatpacking industry part. Jesus Christ.

What do you wish you were doing right now, Kyle? Lying in my cool sheets listening to this YouTube video that I go to sleep with that's like thunder and lightning and like a rainstorm. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Kyle. Okay.

Do you want to hear about the only time that I think I've been as high as you? Hitting us up? Yeah. I hope it's scary. So it's not scary, but I think it's pretty interesting. So my best friend Chaney was playing a music festival called Hard Summer in the middle of July in L.A. It was at this place called the Glen Helen Amphitheater. It's kind of like in San Bernardino, so an hour away from L.A., in the desert, an hour east towards Nevada.

And it's up in this nice little amphitheater. It's in like a mountainside. There's one road in. we're on one road out. She's playing at like noon. It's fucking hot. It is what it is, but we get there early because I love her. She opens the festival. Of course, once she's done at one, we rip some shots.

I haven't eaten. She hasn't eaten. We go backstage and they have artist food carts and some other stuff and there's a weed stand and i'm like oh my god free weed like yeah of course it's snoop dogg's weed company apparently he's gonna come through but it's his weed company they're sponsoring so they give each of us a goodie bag and there's a bag of chips a soda like um this like tincture thing whatever i'm hungry i'm hanging out like i'm not really thinking too much about it and so i drink a soda and eat two bags of the chips and i'm like oh man these probably do have weed in them maybe like a 25 milligram or

whatever and i look at the bag and the bag is 250 milligrams. Wait, of chips? Of chips. Wait, there's weed chips? Weed chips and the weed soda. The soda was 80 milligrams each. No. I mean, I don't know. I was kind of drunk at that point, but it doesn't matter. So I'm eating two bags of these. It's not 250 milligrams.

The whole amount that I ate was 250 milligrams, the two bags and the soda. So I'm like, oh, man, this is going to be a real problem. It's 1 p.m the festival ends at midnight we have a very long time um like around 3 p.m I'm kind of out of it whatever like really seriously super tired like kind of drooling on myself type beat never been this high in my entire life and my friend Cheney's like we gotta get you home and i was like yeah you know it's probably for the best i can skip day one of the festival it's not that big of a deal she walks me to the entrance of the festival and she goes go get an uber and i'm like okay i love

you thank you for taking care of me the problem is that from that point on i couldn't find the uber lot yeah i don't know what the issue was but i remember being so high that i couldn't find the uber lot and i kept walking and walking and there were so many cars like a huge line down this one road in i couldn't find the uber lot so i kept walking and eventually i went to an intersection and i finally got an uber to pick up and the lady was sitting right next to me and she goes the you get an uber picked up here for i was like i couldn't find the uber lot and she goes this is this is a highway home ramp and i was like okay so i got in her car and she drove me back to the hotel

and i get there and i order a pizza the pizza comes like 10 15 minutes later because it was from the room service and then my friends walk in and like oh so how you been i was like i don't know man i got here like 15 minutes ago i got a pizza. They're like, you left eight hours ago. What happened? I couldn't find the Uber lot. I walked down the mountain and I finally managed to get an Uber to pick me up at the highway entrance. I will never again do that much edibles.

How did the rest of it go? How long did it take you to come down? I don't know. I fucking ate pizza and went to bed. I can't remember. It was not great. I spent... Kyle. The ticker. I'm just straight up not having a good time. I'm empathizing with you so hard.

That has got to be... Kudos to you for eating that amount of weed for the show. It should be a trophy or a belt. We should give you a Pokemon badge. You guys should. How much could it cost to make one of those WWE

belts, but it's like a tasteful yet... I would like a badge. Do a subreddit contest. Who designs the best? I want a badge. Like a pin badge that you can put on a jacket, right?

We can give him a ribbon for every? What do you want it to say? We can give him a ribbon for every time he gets home. I don't know. Have you ever seen like the SS caps? Biggest retard in Colorado. Yeah, the SS caps. Super stoned. No, I'm wearing my...

No, I just have a dozen super stone tattoos. Why do you... Then explain the swastikas. I actually practice Hinduism. And the guy who gave it to me was looking at a mirror when he gave it to me. Simple, honest mistake. Fuck. I've never seen a Nazi tattoo in public, but I have to imagine like.

I've seen one. Really? Which one. Really? Which one was it? It was in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I was there for a soccer tournament. I remember it because it was this dude just walking around. It was on his calf. And I was like, alright. What was it? A swastika? It was a swastika, yeah.

It was a fat one. I don't know what it's called. Don't they have like an iron cross thingy? Yeah yeah the iron cross that yeah yeah yeah but it was like it was like in that style but a swastika you know like the i don't know it was like a steel outline i don't know somebody linked an etsy thing and jesus christ yeah i've never seen someone with like a swastika or ss tattoo on their on their calf like but you i imagine people who get out of prison who like joined a

gang for protection immediately like step one has to be like tattoo removal parlor google search how do i make myself not a nazi anymore or at least turn it into like like we've said before though what like going into the like white power group for protection like i mean i i bet there's well there's there's a bunch of like white power like white supremacist groups but like they're also like operating as a business and so like you can look online and see like current alliances of prison gangs and it'll be like the the aryan nation is allied with the black you know triumphant group or whatever because they work together in drug dealing and stuff and so you see or like the latin kings are allied with the aryan nation because of like and so you'll see stuff

like that which is really interesting there's like a there's like a fantasy gang like right there's like larges and acquisitions happen i i imagine i imagine like it's like a fantasy gang app. There's like larges and acquisitions happening. I imagine it's like the same thing as a lot of bullshit where the people, like the Nazis at the very top, they're like, why don't you have any tattoos? They're like,

I don't partake in tattoos. And then they're like behind closed doors like, these fucking idiots. They tattooed the logo on their thigh it's bill clinton doing this hey yeah i got someone to tattoo adolf hitler right on the back of their thigh it was his name's joe biden ask him to show you his cap he'll talk about his hairy legs to deflect but you know there's a picture of adolf right back there but i had him get it with a handlebar mustache so you don't even know it's him do you remember those do you know those pictures they had online where it's like

like when they feared that hitler like fled to argentina or something it was like yeah these are the pictures of what this man may look like and it really drove home like oh this guy hitler is the most average looking dude of all time it's just the mustache that makes him super recognizable because they showed him with different mustaches they showed him with bald hair And it's like bald mustache less Hitler. You could not pick that dude out of a crowd like he doesn't. It was the mustache that made us think he was so iconic with his looks. And that's and that's why you should vote for me.

What can we learn from this? We can learn that. Yeah, see see look at that guy on the left that does not that guy on the left looks nothing like what i would imagine hitler to be like if you put him in like a psychology textbook and was like dr johnson came up with uh this part of uh cognitive behavioral therapy you'd be like oh okay that's certainly not hitler uh i don't know if i want to be looking at if i uh want to be looking at hitler hitler right now well but the one on the left who knows if it is or not you know you're only looking at 50 hitler it's like fucking schrodinger's hitler

or something but but there's at least one fucking hitler i guarantee it yeah schrodinger's hitler if you put hitler in a box in space you don't know if he's dead or alive. Jericho missed out on Hitler. We had a Hitler thing. After a certain amount of time passes though, you'd know if the cat was alive. Yes, that's true, right? Like you can just wait

21 years or something. Cat's certainly dead by now. Yeah. What an idiot. I mean... Fuck you! You fucking figured it it out where's the mountain start just wait 20 years till the cat dies dumbass where does theseus's ship end is it theseus theseus theseus oh yeah where's his where When does his ship become Fucking not new anymore So what they do is

Theseus the ship Oh wait this is great Kyle When does Theseus Explain the solution to Theseus the ship Are you out of your god damn mind He doesn't know what Theseus the ship is I don't know what the audience is anyway. I'll go for it, Woody.

You have his ship and you take one board off it, you put it to the side and replace that. It's the same ship, right? It hasn't changed boats. You take two boards off it, you put a new one in its place. Same boat, right? We all agree you didn't get a different boat. Keep that process going until

every board is replaced. At what point is it a new boat? Is it ever a different boat keep that process going until every board is replaced at what point is it a new boat is it ever a new boat whenever part has been replaced and then if you say no i guess you can repair a boat indefinitely and it's never a different boat roger that what if we took all the boards that we used boards that we got from it and rebuilt it? Would that be the boat? Or it's not the boat because the original one is the boat, even though it's been repaired indefinitely. Yeah, I mean, you can think about that with people too.

Aren't all of our cells regenerated fully every seven years or so? I've heard that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, all the cells in your body that try and get replaced every seven years? I wonder. Every bone cell? Anyway, I've heard that before Yeah, yeah. Oh, all the cells in your body that try and get replaced every seven years? Yeah. I wonder. Is it like every bone cell? Anyway, I've heard that before. It's probably true.

The internet wouldn't lie to us about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True. But it's also, there's like an easier one. It's like, where does the field stop and the mountain begin? Like if you have a field that goes into a mountain, at what point does it stop? At the tall part. The mountain begins at the peak of the mountain?

No, the part that, well, I guess it's when it turns to rocks. That could be. Okay, but imagine that it is all the same surface. Okay. But what if the grass goes quite a bit up the mountain? All right, so a hill. Let's say a soft, grassy hill. Where does the field start and stop, and where does the grassy hill...

I'd say a third of the way up. A third? It's at the bottom. But where's the bottom? It's so bewildering to kind of... Sure, it's not a third of the way up, though. I'm pretty sure these are all like those... I want to contribute with a better conversation I know this one's awful people but I can't

I can't well then do your best what do you got what do you got give us something I don't have anything Zach desperately wants to know what the weirdest thing he'd find in your cabinets is a human head I don't know just sticky spots mostly

sticky spots mostly yeah that wouldn't be weird to anyone though well why do you have sticky spots if you're putting dishes back up there it should just be water I was thinking of like you know the drawer where you throw all the like extra condiments and like little packet of honey pop it back there

and you want to clean it but like nobody knows yeah there's there's nothing fun in my drawers it's just dishes and maybe like a junk drawer you might find some rubber bands to play with like i don't know we have some that is a good question antibiotics what is something that's like genuinely weird that you would even keep in your home in the first place like i can i have a baby sconce like that's the weird what does that mean i know sconce is what goes on the wall light yeah yeah but it's like a baby it's a cast iron baby where the head is the screwed in

that's just that came with the house that wasn't like that wasn't the thing that i have but that's the weirdest thing in this place it's mounted to the wall right now. Yeah. Yeah, I can't think of anything that if something is like upsetting, I don't want it in my home. You know? Like that baby head thing. It sounds funny for you, but I don't think Kyle exhaling

vehemently. Kyle's going through it. You know, I think you like have 12 minutes till the end of your suffering. Sentence. I feel like you're really getting the whole You fool! Do you think this ends in 12 minutes?

No, but I think it could be much better. Yeah, I think it could be much better. Although I think you should have better ideas than just be in the bed oh my goodness maybe get a glass of water go slam day i'm definitely going definitely going to get some water what what is what is the most that you think you could do right now like if you had to go buy a packet of crisps from no you interact with people that do you think you could get through the line

normally or like is walking even a struggle right now i would be worried that i was stumbling so much that like people would start worrying yeah i think kyle if it would be more like all right if if like i can stumble like my way to the kitchen right now like by leaning on walls and stuff i'm sure and i'm not just like fall down fucked up but i'm gonna stumble a little around the corners but uh if i had to like go to a quickie mart or something no too too daunting yeah no that was scary you're you're literally built unlike any human i've ever like i i don't think i would be coma i would be catatonic if i had if i had half of what you had i would be drooling on myself and you'd probably

kick me off the call it would be all dry there's a zero percent chance i could do half of that i would have i would have kept my camera and mic on and i would have gone to bed like i guarantee like i would have got up for like a pee break and i would have gone to bed like i guarantee like i would have got up for like a pee break and i would have laid down and fallen asleep and just passed yeah or i would have vomited like that's probably you can do weed responsibly and it doesn't have to be this way right yeah but do you want to be dangers of weed don't ever do this don't ever do this don't listen to kyle all right kyle is only saying this because he wants to keep this experience to himself. Kyle

wants everyone to stay away from his precious experience. He doesn't want any of you to experience the glory, the euphoria that this man is going through. Look at his eyes. He's loving it. Look at all the life truths he's discerning right now. He's speaking with

Bob Marley. A zombified Bob Marley. That's scary. How did Bob Marley die? Bob Marley died from taking a thousand milligrams of marijuana. Oh, shit! Don't you remember that classic story?

He flew too close to the sun. How jimmy hendrix die same thing i don't know probably heroin i think it was drugs all the young artists who die i assume heroin i think even uh didn't chris farley die because of heroin you know what it's got to be pretty fun if everybody keeps dying from it right it's got to be meth a little too right well no you don't necessarily you don't have to cross-pollinate those at all like meth and heroin meth is far but you were saying they all die i'm gonna if i'm gonna go out it's gotta be it's gonna be on heroin like if i had to make the choice yeah i don't think about celebrities dying from meth because meth is so like cheap and everything I don't think about celebrities dying from meth because meth is so cheap and everything.

Maybe they'll have a coke overdose or something. It seems like it's mostly pills and heroin, though. Opiates. That's why we gotta make America smoke more weed. We do. We gotta get rid of that huge opiate problem all over the country. Oklahoma, you listen to me.

Yeah, Oklahoma. Jesus Christ. I think they're like the worst over the country Oklahoma you listen to me yeah Oklahoma Jesus Christ I think they're like for you they're worst in the country with it like they're so bad so many like more people are dying from that than like fucking probably car we're talking about the opiate epidemic with like people yeah

I think it's a pretty significant reduction in opiate addiction or opiate-related deaths or hospitalizations once weed is legalized, lead is weegalized. I would have guessed the opiates hit, like, the Kentuckys and... Yeah, oh, yeah, all of that. All of the flats is what I call them. All the flyovers. Disgusting.

All the flats. Kentucky's not a flat. I swear to God, I'm gonna... It should be. I'm gonna talk flat i swear to god it should be i'm gonna all the squares i'm gonna talk to all my trucker friends tell them to stop shipping to wherever you are liberal california all those liberals in california eating yeah that's funny like uh california is actually a huge farming state it's's like, really? Are you going to subsist on almonds, moron? Yes. $7 billion in almonds every year,

and it only takes up all of the water in four of our states. Okay? All right? And I don't want to hear anybody complain about it. And I won't because I love almonds. I love the Smokehouse almonds from Blue Diamond. Oklahoma is not bad at all with regards. For opiated, look up Idaho.

Idaho. Or just look at what are the worst opiate states. I know it's like Missouri's, or no, Missouri's terrible with meth. Missouri's not great. Baltimore's heroin. The worst is Ohio, West Virginia, Maryland, Connecticut, and New Hampshire. Don't believe the stats. Don't believe the stats. Don't believe the lies.

These are all wrong. Are we sharing this, Zach? No. No, it's got to be the Midwest. They have nothing else. Oh, damn. We're in a bad color. It has to be those Midwest states that are not the worst at all.

These are deaths. These people don't know how to take opiates. Look, that's why the lowest is in the mid. All right? They've been taking opiates for years. They're veterans. Nebraska, what else are they doing over there besides Oxy? Not included?

Why not? What are they hiding? They're hiding shit. I knew it. They would have been included in this. What are they hiding? They're hiding the fucking data. They could break their little freaking shade of red measuring stick and come in

solid, darker red. How the hell is Iowa so great and Missouri so terrible in this one? Is it coming in from Ohio through Kentucky? Well, they could just

not stop in Louisiana or I don't believe this. Zach, can you delete all the state names and we can play the state game again? I feel pretty confident in this. We'll just play the state game to round out the sick ones. That's so funny. Can we play GeoGuessr?

You had people saying that was the best part of the show. Even as we were doing it, I'm like, this is awful. Dude, I was into it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Wisconsin. That's Louisiana. And you're like, this is terrible content. That's my content every Friday.

On GeoGuessr? Except they don't know where you are. Yeah, no, but I've done the Guest of States game. You should have every guest do this, and this is their, like... Like the show IQ test?

Jericho's tough because he's lived on both coasts, but... I can name every state, no problem. Tucker, what's two states above Texas? two states above Texas? We're doing it. Two states above Texas? Yeah.

Nebraska? My piece. Wrong. Two states above Texas? That is Kansas. It is Kansas. Yeah, it is very long. I was there.

Wait, what? That's Kansas? Yeah, Oklahoma and Kansas share that large border. No, you said two states. Oh, I'm so dumb. I was there. Wait, what? That's Kansas? Yeah, Oklahoma and Kansas share that large border. No, you said two states. Oh, I'm so dumb. I did three states. My bad. Okay, what's the next state up? South Dakota and then North Dakota. No, three states up. You were correct.

Three states up is Nebraska. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. You said two states up and I'm just... I meant Nebraska, but I can see how... Believe it or not. What's the next one could have been taken either way. You know what? I can't do it anymore. Take it off. Get it off the screen. No, I had more. I'm addicted to opiates. Don't laugh.

Been taking Oxy since I got my wisdom teeth removed. Every time we don't know what to talk about, we just pull up a map of the states and just twist each other on them. Like, Hey,

what's the capital South Dakota, South Dakota, Bismarck. My Twitch stream took great offense to the fact that Kyle didn't do his edible last week. And it was four hours and 20 minutes long. They felt like that was insult to injury. I feel like it's abusive.

Kyle strategically disconnected his camera so he could leave right now. Oh, no, he's just resting slowly. How are you doing, Kyle? You know, just taking it one step at a time. You know what's great about this is that when you really think about it, you only have eight more hours. It's only a full work day. Wait. Oh, after this?

His flight's eight hours away? No. He's gonna be high for eight hours. Oh, how long he'll be high. But he won't be, like, shitty high for eight hours. He'll be shitty high for, like, three hours. He'll taper off, like, three hours. In three hours, I'll be shitty high for like three hours. He'll taper off like three hours. In three hours, I'll be able to do things again.

Maybe. You better hope. You might be like this forever. Simmer down. Simmer down. You're right. I'm sorry. That was rude. Saying he's going to be like this forever. Is it going to be like this forever?

He could be. Let's hope not, right? Imagine how shitty this show is going to be if Kyle's a vegetable the whole time you have to watch it. Well, you got to start making a joke of it then after a while. You know what? What was funny

though is I made some low effort bad jokes while you were stoned. I'm getting huge laughs from Kyle on these shitty low-effort jokes. And I like that. You should be somewhat high on every episode. See, if we just moderate this. It's going to be a while after this. It's going to be a while.

No, you say that, but you're going to be high in two days. No, it's going to be a break. It'll be a tolerance break until he gets home. Eye-opening experience, a sobering experience. That's so ironic when you say it's going to be a sobering experience for you. This is very intense. I'm sorry for him. Me too.

I underestimated just how intense this was going to be. Isn't he having a good time? No. Kyle's having a horrible time. Everybody knew it would be a bad time, but I do apologize that you're not having a good time. Kyle, what type of fun do you think you're having? Woody, could you explain to me?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, we're not doing that. what type of fun are you that was pretty quick-witted for you are i'm gonna be honest i don't know what the different types of fun are and i don't want to know i hate that there are different types of fun i don't believe i frankly don't believe that there are types of... You're not alone. Can you imagine taking 40 times as much as what you took? Because that's where Kyle is at. No, his mind can't grasp it. It's like explaining the magnitude of the Richter scale.

Like a 4.0? Yeah, 5.0 is 10 times worse. And you're like, I don't get that. This is a bad scale. Make it of 100. Yeah, and it's like all right it's fucking awful every time it's ten thousand times worse i'll do that for real yeah it's a logarithmic scale yeah and so it's like orders of magnitude bigger every time but

it doesn't really sell it like they need to have a scale that goes to a hundred or even better a scale that goes to a thousand so they can be like this 897. Yeah, but the problem is that if it goes to 1,000, it'd need to go like 10 million because the difference between a 1 and a 5 is 5 magnitudes. That's even cooler. Yeah, it's logarithmic. It's a 9 million earthquake. And you're just like, shit, we're all going to die.

And it's like, nah, man, you're only half up the scale. It's a 5.0 from the old one there's a 500 million it's just like like an anime at this point like giga death you're like oh man yeah like when you would i've never gotten into anime very much but i even remember watching dragon ball z after school oh yeah all the time like an episode would end with one of them like. And like the next episode would start and they'd be like. And the thing that they said was world destructive power would be like, and it pales in comparison to what he can do.

And then it would be some other guy who can make an even bigger ball of power. Not a very good show. No, incredible show because it taught you that no matter what happens, you could just die and get resurrected again and rules didn't really apply to you. What show is this? Dragon Ball Z. Yeah, way

past what he's doing. Also, Balma was hot as fuck. Yeah, but it's pretty meme heavy. 9,000 over 9,000. That's from Dragon Ball Z. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Probably. Probably. Super safe. I'll say more likely than not that it's from there.

I was pretty sure. I didn't see it. You guys want to call it a show and let Kyle go to bed? He's got the snake bite. So you got to check out... 565. Loadstack, bye!