Painkiller Already - PKA 566 W/ Drift0r: Drift0r health update, Dave Chappell‘s Special, Supernatural Beings

Episode Date: October 23, 2021

You're so good, boss. PKA 566 with our guest Drifter Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by Lucy and ExpressVPN, a couple of wonderful sponsors. We've got Drifter back with us tonight. It's been a while. How are you? Thank you. Doing better, I think, for the most part.

It's been a wild journey. In the pre-show, we were just talking. I was like, yeah, it's been like a month or two. And the guys were like, no, it's been like eight or nine. I've kind of been out of it for a bit, but I'm back. I'm here hanging out, having some fun and things are going good. Yeah, good. How's that?

It has been so long. Last time we spoke to you, you were like tinkering with your tea medication. And I think Kyle was saying, like, what you want to do is not do the thing that prevents that. So here's what was on right into that. All right. Start your body to make tea. And we were like, why not just take tea? And then you synced up with Derek for more plates, more dates.

He discovered, I think, a tumor on your pituitary gland. Am I getting that? That is correct. Yeah. Which was preventing your body from wanting to make tea. And they put you on tea and last i heard you were in just happy land but i guess i'm out of date uh it's it's been it's been a bizarre almost nine months so i'll try to do the shortest version of this possible

not long after the show that we did uh my body basically totally shit the bed and every system you can think of that could fail failed temperature regulation nervous system sense of orientation balance mental confusion there was all like muscle wasting like ridiculous stuff is this all at once yeah cool i went from literally like 100 push-ups warm-up every day to laying in bed 18 hours a day within a week. So we did a whole bunch of stuff. I went, I must have seen 15 different doctors and most of them kind of blew me off. They're like, you're fine. Go home. This is stress. Go home. You're making this up, go home. And after Derek reached out to me and I think I initially didn't even respond appropriately to him because I was just like out of my mind, but we, I apologized and we

did link up and he introduced me to his doctors and we did a ridiculous test. Like they took out eight vials of blood for me over 200 different things tested. And based on all of that, there wasn't any. Well, there were problems, but not like normal ones. So they told me I really need to get a pituitary MRI. One doctor said, now you're fine. I went and saw another one who was more serious. I was like, okay, let's order this pituitary MRI. And they found a very small tumor and or lesion on the pituitary gland, microadenoma, thankfully, not macro, that's bad. And the weird thing is that while yes, there is a tumor there, it's incredibly small. And the doctor said it's very unlikely to be causing even a fraction of the problems that I'm experiencing.

So they referred me to the only pituitary endocrinologist in my city and turned out to be like a doctor house kind of guy. And instead of the doctors. No, no, no, no, no. Like all the doctors are like just blowing you off. Go home. Eat healthy. Don't you know, you should work out more, some crap like that. And this guy just comes in. He's like, I've never seen this before. That's exciting. Let's figure out what's going on.

And he put me on this program of trying basically a new med every two months and testing to see if the result, to see if he could kind of isolate what system was going wrong. I did a lot of that. Derek's recommendation was immediately go to TRT. The pituitary endocrinologist is like, no, if we try different meds and sections, we might see which section is not cooperating properly. Okay. Turned out we learned nothing and I wasted my time and I went through about four major hormone changes in eight months, which is lovely. That's one way to do it. So this whole time you're like on these different pills just up and down and no stability just probably depressed to shit wild wild i can't do it i only have a i have a temper when my testosterone gets below 100 okay uh but before that no on and off the pills i did have

an issue where i would randomly cry about once a week i would just be like eating my dinner and be like that's like saying i get sleepy when my heart rate gets below four or like um we'll do a fun one one time i woke up in the middle of the night with an ice cold boner it was like having a popsicle oh no but i mean it was like it was like dead flesh man it was fucking terrifying so we go through all this crap wait it was hard and cold yes how's that happen you're you don't get to experience that very much this is a one-time opportunity so we do all this stuff and then i finally get pretty stable uh just basic clomid with no anastrozole and they're like okay this is looking good in a couple of weeks we're going to move you to trt and see how that works and then everything goes cuckoo bananas crazy with my body and my hands

which are fine now for now more or less stopped working i thought i got carpal tunnel like overnight and they've just been fucked up for like two months i have the grip strength of a five-year-old girl i can god i'm glad we're not in a studio together right now yeah oh oh i see what you're saying keep my distance motherfucker what's wrong with you i went to go see doctors about it. Got every test imaginable and it all came back. You're fine. And I'm like here and I'm like, I can barely brush my teeth.

It's not fine. And it's been kind of a wild ride. But literally three days ago, I got some clarity. Apparently, I have the muscles in my neck are too tight and stuff. And I am crushing an artery and closing it shut. So my arms and hands and a lot of my upper body are getting about half of the amount of blood that they need. This is suspected and you need an MRI to prove it. So they're trying various things to open up these arteries.

And when they do like, you know, it's kind of like a manual massage release. I can watch the veins in my hand just go and like the pain goes away. So let's hope that trend continues. But dude, I've been all over the world, like more doctors and more crap, barely uploading to YouTube. It's been it's been a not so very fun journey. But that's I guess if you have questions, that's fine. But it's something I don't even like to talk about too much these days.

I can't imagine why. Yeah, it sounds horrible. it's always really really difficult to deal with oh goodness just dominating your life and not getting answers thing is it's ongoing huh like like this is just an ongoing continuing thing that's yeah i'm sorry i have to go see a geneticist on monday a geneticist we're hitting the point where it's kind of like, what do you want to name your disease? Oh, drifter disease. Oh, God. Oh, no, no. Why would I do that?

They might screw up putting the zero in there and it would screw up all the spelling and typing in the medical textbooks. Can you do one of those things like what Mountain Dew and Doritos do when they come out with a new flavor and have your fans vote on what to name the disease? Yes. Let 4chan ruin it. It'll be like Hitler Syndrome. come out with a new flavor and have your fans vote on what to name the disease. Yes.

Let 4chan ruin it. It'll be like Hitler Syndrome. It'll be like you have Hitler did nothing wrong disease. Yeah, just suck them out and do it. You know, we're not going to go with the Hitler did nothing wrong berry. The important part of all of that is that Derek really helped me a lot and kind of put me

on the right path toward figuring things out. So thank God. Yeah. I mean, like must've been infuriating having so many doctors straight up tell you like, you're imagining this. Go do more pushups. Yeah. No, I literally had doctors to tell me to eat more meat and do pushups. I had one of them tell me that like, oh, I wish I could sell your blood. It it's so good i went to go see an endocrinologist and i told him my testosterone was like 50 and they're like so i'm like what yeah it's fucking what is it 300 to 900 is that the range 300 to 700 yeah for a vagina it's like i mean all of us here probably like 800 would be normal yeah yeah 800 would be really high like i think they did this uh this Olympic athletes, and the average was 450.

450, 500 is pretty average. Most people would be very happy to be 900 or 1,000. Jeff Nippard did a video. If you don't know him, he's a fitness YouTuber. He's jacked, short but jacked. He did a bunch of other guys who like compete in um physique competitions and they were in the upper 400s so it's not as high as i would have guessed no i thought it would have been something i thought those guys right these are

guys that you wish you look like right you know they're they're the statues carved of marble and uh i'm like you're under 500 oh i if somebody's 900 i thought it'd be you you know i'm under 500 now it's like that simpsons meme yeah you see the the women that got banned for having testosterone levels that were too high yeah Yeah. For what competition? I think it was long distance running or marathon. Something like that. But it was natural testosterone. They were just from these parts of Africa where the women's T is to like male levels high.

What? And you know my sense of humor. So when I found this article months ago, I screensh the four or five women um who were like being penalized by this and i was like i don't know i was gonna try to make a joke out of it later on i guess the the whole punchline was that they looked like men they just looked like men do they look like they did with that much tea they they all look like eddie murphy the crazy thing is women can only have like a third to half of the amount of testosterone that men are supposed to have or they kick you out of the Olympics. There are some women that have like glandular

disorders that have a bunch. They're not allowed to compete, period. Yeah, I mean that, like if some guy with, well actually gigantism doesn't make you strong, it makes you very brittle and die quickly, right? So a guy with that wouldn't do very well lifting. There's a couple different kinds of that

gigantism, but it always seems to have something to do with the pituitary. There's a dude in arm wrestling that has that and his hands are massive. You wonder how he could be beaten. Only one hand though, I think, right? Isn't that the one arm guy? Both hands are huge, but one hand in

particular is ginormous. I watched a video on him. He's like the best arm wrestler. And they're like, what's your training like? And like interviewing other arm wrestlers. And they're like, well, I do 50 arm pull, like these specialty arm workouts that's just for arm wrestling. And they ask him after he wins the tournament.

And he's like, well, every day at work, I drive. I'm a forklift operator. And, you know, I move that thing around. And it gives you a nice little forearm workout. And and meanwhile he's bodying people like off the table it's literally the Simpsons meme where Homer puts his like weak arm up and then he goes boom with the huge enormous arm I like as a like when I first saw that I'm like that would be so cool to have like one like you know how some crabs have that huge claw, having one big arm. Then you realize that would suck.

You wouldn't be able to lift even. People would stare at you, but they wouldn't say anything. No, they wouldn't say anything. Not to the left side of you anyway. No, not until you turn to the side. What's the solution there? Do you make them

take a pill to lower their T? that what they do i don't know if you can do that they just don't let them compete that's not natural uh this dude that you linked looks like he's got like what's it uh elephantitis almost yeah they got so gross man you know i'm trying to be polite here and you're like he's fucking nasty what do you think he's watching right now i hope not what would you do if he's fucking nasty. What, do you think he's watching right now? I hope not. What would you do if he showed up at your house? What are you going to do about those arms? I'd beat the shit out of this guy.

Wherever this guy is, you and Diego. Oh, I'm not afraid of this guy. This is a small man. I don't think he's a small man. How tall is he? He's like 6'4 with those arms. What are his stats what are all of his stats

I need them in 3 seconds first you have to go big arm arm wrestling man name then you have to his forearms measure 19 inches in circumference that's just right for his size wait he's 5'9

and 250 pounds I didn't expect him to be five nine see woody this is this is easy work you can't guess no he's gonna grab your skull like the mountain and just switch very dangerous over short no i've reversed that a little hard boom just pop you like a zit look at him like he's that guy is just put on this earth to arm wrestle. He weighs 250. 105 of those pounds are just arms. Is that an exaggeration? Look at his quads in jeans next to the back of his arm.

Right? What a freak of a human being. You know, he probably thinks that he has the smallest penis in the world. Just every time you hold it and look it down it's just like barely there send me a video of you jacking off i'd really rather not that's a sick line i like that that's good every time he's just sad every time he jacks off god damn it my giant ass middle is making my dick look small. His middle finger is small.

Those fingers would be big dicks. They're sausages. They are sausages. You look like you could pop them. I have seen enough, Zach. I'm sorry. She masturbated his middle finger. I wish it was still up.

I'd help you draw that image. He's like fucking his wife and she's like, I need a little more tonight, hon. Can you finger me? Just one! Just one! He just like gives the woman a shocker and she's just blown out like a tent in the wind. I don't know. I was thinking of something

just loose and blowing away I hate that he exists I do like that there's someone who's such a genetic freak that he can go in and ruin everyone's hard work like that's kind of fun a little bit but if they're kicking out these women Everyone's hard work. Like that's kind of fun a little bit. But if I mean, if they're kicking out, if they're kicking out these women, although something tells me the World Arm Wrestling Federation

is nothing like the Olympics in the, you know, the testing. In the drug testing. Yeah, I imagine it's drug friendly. Yeah. They kick people out of the Olympics for cannabis as well because that makes total sense. Yeah. Isn't that why we to be skateboarding this past

season? I thought I saw some story about that. The US had to send a bunch of skaters who don't, who pass the drug test and as a result, it's like, well, we're going to skater. He's nationally ranked 354 and 391.

Let's see what happens. Only the sober skaters can go, which, as we know, are the best, for sure. They need to stop testing for drugs, at least pot and shit in all the major leagues. I think that's coming. I mean, major corporations aren't

testing for drugs. It's getting legalized. As far as the war on drugs is concerned, the drugs have won, except in Texas. I don't know if you guys saw, but they made Delta illegal in texas not only is it illegal in texas it is more illegal and has a higher level penalty than actual marijuana that's a good sign that's a good sign for marijuana legalization in texas that's what that means really yeah because all the places where weed is yeah so delta 8 isn't so uh legal marijuana doesn't want to compete with delta eight this is delta eight um that's why the map really lights up to to correspond with that like when i was flying into colorado it was like oh shit let me leave this in atlanta

when i land in denver where it's like there's a dispensary on every corner and then vice versa right i obviously can't bring my weed pen back here, but I can grab this as soon as I land. That's a good sign. I bet that means that the Texas legislature in some way or another has some outlet for for for real marijuana there. Republicans hate drugs. This was not a legislature thing. It was a Department of Health guy appointed by the governor. So they just made the decision unilaterally to not allow Delta 8 because they don't like people getting high, pretty much. Well, we also don't know what the fuck's in this thing. It's Delta 8 THC

removed from hemp is the right word I'm looking for. Yeah, I know what's supposed to be. I know what's supposed to be in there. I bought this from a guy named Ape. And he assured me that this would fuck me up, I believe were his exact words when he was prescribing this device. And then he made some sort of hand gesture that I wasn't familiar with as I left.

I don't know. But then he at no point was like, oh, yeah, these are made in Switzerland using that new robot factory they've got there. Like nobody seems concerned about where these are coming from or how they're making them or like what the liquid is. Well, they know it's the Delta-8 derived. Wildly overrated. I've arrived at my decision now. I disagree. I'm offended.

I know. And I'm pretty sure this is an unpopular opinion, but it makes you a little bit... Dizzy's not exactly right, but a little bit spaced and it gives you a case of the whatevers and that's what

being high is. It can be. It hits people differently. You never get the giggles or start synesthesia where you like taste colors and feel sounds and stuff like that no i've just never got that careless yeah you yeah i've never gotten synesthesia that sounds wild and i've smoked more marijuana than you can shake a stick at but um yeah mostly i just have a good time it makes like everything like a little bit better.

Not everything. I don't think it would make maybe a roller coaster ride. I think if you're going to go ride roller coasters, maybe you'd want some fucking upper, like some cocaine or something. It puts me to sleep. That would be one to the fuck. Makes me sleepy.

I don't give a fuck. And a little bit spaced out, I guess. You don't get excited or you don't like want to draw things or go on a jog or i want to swim and i don't care that i don't care about much really and you and i are totally different are you high right now like you sound bummed about this no i i don't get it like i i got that pet in colorado and i got uh the delta 8 last week you know just sort of and i feel like it's not been once or twice i don't know how many times been 12 or i i get it now like i've done it it's overrated wildly overrated for me yeah for some people it is like i know people that i've known for my whole life good friends who like we'd be at parties and like even when they were like blackout drunk and

we were like in college passing around a joint they'd be like no fucking way i'm not touching that shit i'll throw up i'll feel like i'll get so stressed in my own head and i would see it like i would smoke and be like man this night everything's a little sillier now and they would smoke and then they would go just hibernate in like the corner of the couch and look scared and and all of their fun from the drunk just gone like now they're looking for an excuse to leave i've never felt paranoia from it i know that's a common side effect yeah a lot of people do um i just nothing bugs me anymore maybe that's what you want maybe maybe if you're like crippled with your anxiety then that's a nice good for anxiety well i mean that's one of the primary uses have

any of you guys tried thco i've never heard of it heard of it yeah okay so it came out this year and i was mailed a bottle to try and i was going to try it and then they banned it in oklahoma or will be doing so soon. THCO is Delta eight, but then they do one lab process to synthesize it, to add an acetate molecule to the end so that the absorption rate at the, I think it's at the, your body filters more, but it absorbs it more at the receptors in your brains. So it averages out to be about three times stronger than regular THC, and it's a mild hallucinogen, so you get like lit-lit and start seeing things. Now, the only downside is that some people get seizures after they take it. That sounds fun to feel, right? But I mean,

it sounds pretty fun. It sounds legal. It's one of those things that's so new they haven't made a law against it yet. Yeah, we're about to find out. I'm kind of scared to try it. I've got a whole bottle here at house, like a thousand milligrams i'm like now take it now no i'm gonna have a seizure i'm gonna die what a horrible thing to go into a weed experience with oh i could have a seizure i want to do the whole podcast with me here like this with like white foam coming down and is and that's weird because isn't like one of the uses of regular weed like an anti-seizure device? Right. So it just reverses?

I think this one is so strong is the issue that people like. Some people get used to Delta-8 where they eat like 200 or 300 milligrams a day. And they'll do that with THCO and just get blasted. That's a huge amount of Delta-8 to even take. And now like. Let me get this in. THCO is legal in 38 states those states include missouri north carolina and georgia i'm having enough fun with just delta

a i'm gonna leave the the thco on the counter for a while i'm going harder and harder core on my drugs until i find what's fun if we love cocaine we need what he just doesn't like downers is what we figured out he doesn't like the downer of weed he doesn't like the downer of alcohol if they legalize like cocaine and he does a road trip i'm gonna have the best abs you're gonna be like show like every we're gonna do the show and every 15 minutes you're gonna go another thing can i get this in like another like uh thing that they started selling at the delta 8 place i go to is called delta 10 and like they keep making these other things that don't seem as good as just the regular

delta 8 they're like yeah delta 8 but like you know how they use like hemp to make delta 8 they extract it from the hemp delta 10 totally synthetic and it's like that's not a selling point no why why would i opt for this like you remember spice from the 90s and early 2000s yeah that shit was that was a panic attack in a puff just one puff of that and you were i remember that from the president of panic town oh yeah i know of it i've never tried it or anything smoking spice in prison I got stressed out in my good friend's basement I can't imagine the fear I would have felt

I remember we were watching season one of Archer because he was like this show is awesome we were passing around this spice and like I was sitting there like feeling like I was vibrating and like I was going to vomit and just being like how long is it going to last but everybody nobody else is freaking out and then we we stopped doing it and i'm like anybody they start passing around again i'm like oh no no no then my other buddy was like yeah

honestly no no i'd rather i i don't want to do this this is worse than sobriety by a huge amount it's like if every time you had a beer you had to reconcile vomiting part of it up later no one would say worse than sobriety as if sobriety was the worst that we had, like the worst state we had previously known. This is worse than being at the DMV. What's that Hank Hill quote? Like, like,

like why would you do drugs when you can just mow the lawn? Why would you do drugs when you can just mow the lawn? Yeah, that they're getting a little, a little ahead of themselves with these thc derivatives i think like delta eight they hit a nice one i'm keeping right up i just ordered it no tc sounds interesting oh my god it's better than t than delta eight i was all on board i was like this is going to be fun and then i saw the thing about the health benefits and i was like or problems i was like oh god maybe i should just wait and see what happens to other people first there's a i'll report back

and see if this stuff is actually stronger you're gonna do it first time on the next show yeah whenever it gets here i'm gonna start there's a guy in my universe who buys mushrooms through the mail and uh it i guess the way you buy a t-shirt and then the box has a false bottom in it and that has mushrooms and it's all packaged up really professionally. I needed that guy to send me weed. He's telling me how safe it is and how professional they had their organization is. But I have a friend who went to jail for two months getting drugs in the mail. Well, my shit wasn't professional at all. Even back then, if you'd ask, hey, how safe is it? I'd be like, oh.

What can I say? I want to get high. Silk road. I think it's a t-shirt or a hoodie or something that comes for free with your mushrooms. I don't like it i don't i don't like it and you have to buy it with bitcoin now so very like dogecoin maybe it's it like like once you've gone through like once you've received a t-shirt with a false bottom

bought through bitcoin it's hard to plead ignorance and you know it's not even like a new t-shirt it's the t-shirt the mushroom they have this wearing that after the communiques they have between you and him look like that initial conversation between neo and morpheus green letters on black there's not even a program running i i know a friend who like like and you're talking about the mushrooms like show up like ready to eat woody like you you can just yeah yeah i think they grind them before they eat them and turn it into like a mushroom powder you put them in like tea or stuff like that you like seep them in tea like in a tea bag you can break it oh no they put it in a in literally water and then they kill it like it was

cough medicine but it's ground up so it's water with like mushroom flakes in it and then they kill it like it was cough medicine but it's ground up so it's water with like mushroom flakes in it and then they just kill it and enjoy the shrooms i don't know if that is like dead birds and then they have a chaser or something yeah i don't know if it's like a fully my friend tells me it's fully legal but he's like you can't order mushrooms and he's been doing it for a long time so i feel like you would get caught he's like yeah you don't you don't ever order like the regular mushrooms that are already ready for you because that's really illegal but the spores are fully legal for those same mushrooms and so i order the spores and then in my closet i grow mushrooms and like he he set up his own little like micro dosing he wasn't selling not doing anything with it but like making his own little

bits to micro dose with and he's been doing that for a long time. I feel like it takes talent to grow mushrooms in your closet. Mushrooms are very easy to grow. I don't have any mushrooms by accident. No, there's a saying for mushrooms. You feed them shit and keep them in the dark.

They grow on anything, almost. Those are not the things I want in my house. Well, then you don't want mushrooms badly enough clearly touche it probably does smell bad man who actually wants mushrooms is like how much poop do i need you know what i may poop every day what kind of dog poop i have access to free poop i don't want to say where it comes from instead of in the future instead of selling like gamer girl bathwater one of you guys can sell your

own shit mushrooms right here on we could as long as you know if the rest of the country follows Oregon's you know trailblazing over there I was just there recently oh did you do any of the fully legal drugs not mushrooms no because they have

a lot of marijuana like a lot that's all you did yeah um i was gonna do mushrooms but i kind of got hurt and i was like just all the time so oh it was the circulation that you yeah yeah okay are mushrooms supposed to be good for you for anything physically? Because the only thing I've ever heard people talk about mushrooms is like, it opens your eyes, man, and changes your perspective. I've heard two things. One is that, that it somehow upgrades your RPG character to make him more creative and intelligent and open-minded and such.

The other, and there's some scientific backing to this, is that it's become an effective way to combat depression. If mushrooms are capable of upgrading a person, I feel like I would have upgraded, and I didn't. Perhaps this is your upgrade. This is your final form. You don't need any for two years. Oh, no.

Aren't you already in your final form? I know what's hiding under that jacket. Yeah, pretty much. And we're getting there. 9 000 now oh my god um yeah i don't know over 9 000 mushrooms can help with ptsd as well i didn't like them i haven't liked them either time i've taken them um the stuff that i'm more interested in now is is going to be something like dmt or acid like like like um definitely i don't want that frog i don't want that toad venom shit though dmt is like 15 minutes and acid is like eight hours am i right on that yeah dmt is intense that's like what your brain dumps when you're dying yeah so it's gonna be a wild ride but on the topic of drugs uh i want to know what i should expect if i take lock and load for like a month oh dude i've been taking

it for like 10 days okay it is legit already made a difference like and like i'm not lying my my wife is like she took it as a sign that she did especially well that day she thinks that she was like just the bee's knees that day she doesn't know I'm on performance enhancing ejaculate volume I wish we had her walking and catching

the chili I'm busting all over this bitch the reviews on the box are gonna have to be blah blah blah something great Woody's wife her techniques have just doubled and not my volume on it's own we need to get testimonials from all the

listeners who buy it like what their girlfriends or wives say even if it's something like this is totally unnecessary and gross. Even the ones like that on there. It shot out my nose. How much volume difference are you getting after just

10 days? Like 20, 30, 40%? A double, triple? Definitely 50% or more, okay? When you've maxed out your possibilities here, when you're eating right, you're exercising, you're sleeping well. Hydrating. Wait, there's another thing. You can produce nearly 10 milliliters of semen.

Let me jump on the other floor. Kyle did this thing the other day. He was talking and he watched porn or sometimes and guys just dribble or whatever. And he's like, I can't imagine what an embarrassment it would be if I didn't shoot across the room or over her head like a rainbow. And I'm over there like, I don't know that I'm shooting rainbows. Rainbows! Rainbows, bitches!

Rainbows! I... I... If I were to pull out, easily facial from there. Oh yeah. Sometimes it's genuinely funny. Like, like if you're giving her a facial or like coming all over tits,

it just keeps going. And like, it's awesome. It's not one of those things. And also like, like I didn't want to like buy the old load stack stuff that Kyle and I took it when we were formulating this. And this is even better than the one, like the mix and match stuff Kyle and I were doing we were formulating this. And this is even better than the one,

like the mix and match stuff Kyle and I were doing for quite a while before. And like you won't have to be like, is it kicked in yet? You're going to know because you're going to have a huge nut. So I have to ask, are there side effects? I know you guys wouldn't sell them if it was something bad,

but like what if you like have a wet dream and you wake up and you're like, Jesus, did I piss my pants? The whole bed's stopping wet. I will say this, all jokes aside, if you're already supplementing selenium, then stop doing that if you take Block and Loan. That would be the only thing I would recommend. Because there's a good bit of selenium. There's a nice fat load of selenium in there you don't want to be taking that much if you're already supplementing like whatever it is 200 micrograms a day what do what is selenium supplemented for if not comment um i was

taking it for um that uh tsh imbalance i had that pituitary or whatever thing I had going on two years ago. And it fixed it. I was like three times the reference range and it got me well within reference range numbers. I don't remember the exact numbers. But anyway, yeah. But you can look at the back and

as you all know with Derek, efficacious dose. It's like vitamin E 2,600%. Zinc And as you all know, with Derek efficacious dose, it's like vitamin E, twenty six hundred percent zinc, four hundred and fifty five percent selenium, seven hundred and twenty eight percent vitamin D, five hundred percent. And then the rest of the proprietary blend. It's so Derek is always efficacious. It's never one hundred percent. It's always like how to get the maximum amount. He never does that

thing that dicks do with like in a pre-workout like they have one milligram of something lame like just to say it's in there yeah i'll tell you what else we did in our proprietary blend i happen to know there's an agree like i think that usually just means like oh yeah and we sprinkled some nonsense in there we call it there's a thing we've got a thing in ours we're like we went through a lot of trouble to like change one thing into another thing and and uh and get it in there we really do have a proprietary blend that nobody else is doing we nobody because nobody else is trying to make your loads bigger i feel like i'm being a salesman which is somehow like sketchy to me but no i'm i'm actually just telling the story of what happened

when i took this shit i don't think anybody's gonna feel hustled here look if you've got money for for jizz pills then you've got money for jizz pills it's a it's a binary kind of thing you either can't have the money for jizz pills or you don't at first i didn't even take enough like i'm 10 days into this but for the first five days, I took half a dose. The instructions say take five pills, and then I stopped reading there. So I just took five pills. And it's like, no, no, no. Then at night, take four more.

I read it again. I'm like, I've only been doing half a dose. So you're not even maxing out your potential. I am lately, but yeah, it wasn't for a while. It's so many goddamn pills. It's a snack. Yeah, it wasn't for a while. It's so many goddamn pills. It's a snack.

And that's what I tell everybody, again, if we were selling you fucking horse piss in a jar or whatever, some bullshit product, it'd be one pill, right? Because we wouldn't even want to sell... We'd be like, yeah, just one small pill per week does the trick.

If you're selling magic beans, you sell three. You don't sell a bushel of them, right? Yeah, exactly. It's like five in the morning. Homeopathy. One drop will do you. And then he says in a scary way, do not exceed nine capsules in any 24-hour period.

Your balls will swell. What, Derek? I wish he'd written or else and then nothing. Like rub some ink there so it looks like there used to be something. Like, do you get testicular

explosions or something? I don't know what happens if you take a tenth pill. You don't stop coming. He's my pop. Women have drowned. I'm so proud of that product. I am too. When it showed up, I'm like, this is so great.

Just many great minds just coming together. It's fucking hilarious. This is one of those things that I'm proud of, but I will not mention it to a family member other than my brothers. My wife and daughter do not know this product exists. Oh, shit. Keep it on the DL, everyone. So in her head, she's just

like, damn, I'm like the master jerk-off artist here. Did you guys see the sales numbers? No. I did not. They're very good. We knew they were good. I thought they were bad because it's still in stock. He says they're very good.

Oh, cool. Good. People are going to like them. You guys talk about selling horse piss, man. People have been eating horse piss for like the last three or four months. Grabbing themselves, filling diapers, man. A little bit. So here's the truth.

That's people medicine, right? Oh, can I jump in real quick? Yes. The reason that it hasn't gone out of stock is because he timed it so 10,000 more bottles would come into stock a weekend. 10,000. Jesus Christ. Good golly, that's a lot of bottles. A whole audience of Coomers.

Very nice. Oh, my. Making fat loads across the nation i haven't even i haven't looked at the sales numbers at all yet changing lives i didn't even where is he looking at the sales i have no idea what he's looking it must be in the whatsapp chat we have with derrick where the his manager links everything he'll probably send it to us but yeah this is uh it's like we've said it before but 18 pills a day was the original dose we had to work for him we had to work for months with derek saying like can we get it down to under double digits there was going to be a liquid involved too it was going to be a cocktail it was going because at one point it was liquid at one point it was liquid yeah because me and kyle

were so insistent because he like gave us the original like formulation and kyle and Kyle were so insistent because he gave us the original formulation. And Kyle and I were like, no, we need lots of sunflower lecithin. That's a huge carrier of the weight here in this. It's not going to do all of it, but that's going to add a bunch of volume. And getting the sunflower lecithin out of the liquid form into the powderized form was a thing he had to figure out. And he did because he's fucking brilliant and he's a doctor. I call him Dr. Derek. Dr. Derek, I do. I call him that. doctor. I call him Dr. Derek. Dr. Derek. I do.

I call him that. Yeah, I call him that. He's not making that claim. I am on his behalf. He's got lifestyle delts. I'll tell you right now, he's a doctor. Everybody says different is a fucking liar. Look at his delts and tell me.

Look at Derek. When I say Derek, he'll bend the truth a little, yeah. I mean, about being a doctor for example when i look at like some time now he'll tell you when i look at those those death star delts like who am i to tell him he doesn't know what he's talking about about anything did you see his short video where the girl liked delts i'm gonna find it because it's fucking hilarious to me delts are so big i think they're like lensing gravity across them like you can see the light warping a little bit behind him

to disprove flat earth yeah um when uh when he posted the video about finding my tumor the comments were like all the way down it's like you have to change it to Lifestar delts. Yeah. Because he's such a good guy. Yeah. He is a good guy. Wait for this. We'll watch it in sync because it's funny to me.

And turn the volume up, please, Zach, when you play it. Taylor. Yeah, I'm checking. It's a 16 second video that was on Derek's channel and it made me laugh. When you can see their shoulder line, when they go. I've seen him I've talked to him for like 12 hours at this point It still doesn't look real It looks like someone put like

Modeling clay around him in the beginning or something It's like They're silly It's just a VTuber He's got a really nice VTuber it is he's got really nice vtuber rig kind of like how they made captain america skinny for the marvel movie except the other way around he's just like a skinny guy it's all cgi on top the muscles are imaginary what is vtube virtual youtuber like like ever see the the people who hide their own face but they're like a lizard

or a shark talking it's they would a VTuber, a virtual YouTuber. I'm right on that, right? Anime characters. No, it's more like anime characters. They'll build a full 3D rigged avatar and have working eyes, eyebrows, mouth, lips, nose, hands, everything. I think that's what I'm talking about, though. Yeah, I'm feeling like Clint Eastwood version old whenever I sit whenever I see a VTuber on Twitch with like 38,000 people watching live and you click it and it's

To my old ass it appears to be an Asian cartoon character inside of a hot tub Inside of an animated world and she's squeaking a lot. She's going like a lot and The people in the audience are fucking loving it i don't know what's happening i don't know what's happening i've never seen a stream like that but kyle you were the original one before you revealed yourself as fps russia you would do that for every show with a poor quality like camera shark that would move its mouth out of sync with what you were saying. Yes. Yes. Kyle was a VTuber. You were a VTuber.

I don't think that's accurate. I think that's rather untrue. Well, I'm trying to give you credit for something that you don't like. I don't think it's accurate. VTubing is really wild, though. I have a friend of mine that is now a very successful VTuber, and she transitioned from voice acting into VTubing and still does gaming and stuff on Twitch. Now, not in her case, but in the case of many of the super popular VTubers, especially overseas, there are media corporations

that own your avatar. So you have to pay some degree of fee to them, or there's some degree of ownership, if I'm not mistaken, over your digital avatar. And sometimes they will graduate or move on or whatever to where that voice actress or person can no longer use it. And it's just very deeply confusing to me to kind of like step into a virtual avatar and be a character for a mega corporation in Japan and then have to dip in a little bit. And I don't quite get that entire scene, but anime fans eat it up. The thing I do understand, understand though is that it allows people to reset a lot of people like us we go on camera all the time it doesn't really like catch on what if you could just snap and become a totally different person each of you could make a side channel talking about any topic you want as a vtuber and nobody would know it was you so it allows a lot of people to start from scratch

and it'll be black on the other channel interesting yeah you can be black boy you have to you have to be cartoon black like anime black you can't be you know painting your face and you know doing black yeah you could do blackface and nobody would know because you just have a virtual character but it what is there's virtual blackface count is that is that okay okay? Are you asking if you want your 3D character to be a white person in blackface? That's exactly what I want. You have a perfect circle around you. That is exactly what I want.

I want my avatar to be in blackface. Like the Al Jolson white paint around the lips, like that level of offensive. I'm sure it exists. I'm sure that you could get on steam and download one wouldn't recommend it probably wouldn't go very well but i i bet you somebody on 4chan has made you one somewhere jesus fucking yeah but they wouldn't know because you'd be a vtuber unless they're pka fan and they recognize the voice or a topic or he says

something revealing oh yeah the next thing is a game star. Revealed as racist. So racist as virtual avatars in Blackface. There's no coming back from that. Oh no, you can just reset as somebody else. Yeah, reset. Now I'm an Australian guy in Blackface.

Now I'm a Native American Indian. You keep starting these new channels. I don't think you understands what's causing him to fail. Dude, I want to talk about Trump's new social media platform, Truth. I don't know what it's like exactly. It's either

a Twitter clone or a Facebook clone or something, but Trump is starting, again, a social media platform and it's called Truth. It's meant for conservatives the rule 23 which has the internet rolling is that um you're not allowed to say things on it that disparage either the platform or trump so you can only say good things about the platform or trump it's not really a bastion of free speech. And they immediately hacked Donald Trump's account and posted a picture of a pig defecating on its giant balls. We've all seen that photo.

I like that one. It was new to me. Oh, you've never seen the pig shitting on the balls? I've seen it now. It's a good one. It's a huge amount of shit bouncing on even bigger balls. They're ginormous. Pigs have balls like I have a human head.

I think that one had some sort of problem. Everybody talks about what animal they would want to be the most. Everybody wants to be an eagle or a fucking tiger or some shit. Okay. Dolphin. What's the last animal you would want to be? Let's get rid of

bacteria and crabs and shit, but the pigs are really low on that list, right? No bugs also? Yeah, no bugs or non-bugs. If you were a were a pig you would love all that you would eat poop and you would love it there's a story and i want to say indian mythology about a god that came down and turned into animals and turned into a pig and just loved being a pig so much he forgot he was a god and lived out his whole life as a pig that's a ah so it would change my preference right i could be a fly on poop and just be like this is heaven yeah you're good we're gonna go back at some point jesus christ you wouldn't live very long as a fly though whereas like you know what's what's the

worst animal that also lives a long time like like a turtle like a little turtle a box turtle or some of those snapping turtle i at least want to be birds live a long time tree some of those tortoise live like 200 years so those oh i know what it is i got the i got the perfect answer there's this shark that lives in the antarctic that lives for like 400 years and these parasites come and they eat its eyeballs the green like yeah none of them have eyeballs because all of their eyeballs have been eaten by this very specific parasite that has evolved to eat shark eyeballs. And so all the sharks that are like... And they look awful.

They look like a shark. They look like they're dead. It's called a greenland shark, Zach. I think it might be. I think that's correct. But I assume that they're not born with parasites, but since they live so long, it's inevitable right away? Yeah, right away.

They get to see a little. You can look around a little bit. Oh, look at that. And then it's gone. You know what they need? Ivermectin. That would probably cure them. Actually, if they got their eyes chewed off at day one of being born

and they live for 400 years. They don't really know, but if they live like 150 years and then they get their eyes chewed out and they have like a quarter of a millennia to still live blind. And so that could be a really rough one. Well, no, what they said was that they live, uh,

like, like down deep enough that it's dark. So it doesn't even matter. But still that, you know, the things eat their eyeballs out of their heads, which is pretty gruesome. They are ugly sharks, but they're 400 years old.

No, it's not that. That thing's cute. That's a hippo fish. No, that's the wrong one. That's how good you look 400 years from now, Taylor. I'll be so dead. One step back, the Trump social media platform was bizarre. I read about it today.

There's an aspect of it that's a Twitter clone, but it's also a brand new corporation. I think it's the Trump Media and Technology Group, if I remember correctly, that he got through an acquisition. And he's also planning to sell his own subscription service for content and some sort of curated newsfeed. So what I got from it, did any of you guys use WeChat at all? You're familiar with it? If you get news on WeChat, it's whatever WeChat says. There's very little like external linking. It's all, you know, party controlled. It looked a lot like WeChat where it's just whatever Trump wants you to see kind of going down the page, but then with like a parlor thing hooked onto it and then a premium

subscription, which has to be the grift to get people to pay for Newsmax or whatever the hell. Here's the question, right? So he's rolling out this whole thing. Is this a cash grab, or are these the initial stages for another presidential run? I was guessing cash grab. Is he trying to crowdfund it? And I think your initial thought of, yes, both, might be good. Maybe what he's going to do this time is what i think he meant to do the very first time and that was like take a run at it raise some money sweep some under the rug and like you know

get some more attendance up get attendance up at like the the properties and stuff and then bow out gracefully to a bush and uh and let that be but somehow he fucking won and it was just like you couldn't stop you couldn't stop. You couldn't stop. Like, he couldn't stop. You can't be like, actually, I was memeing. Yeah. What if he did, though?

Like, I think everyone would have had so much respect for him if he'd gotten to the end and he'd had like a 30-second speech where he was like, I can't believe that one of the great parties of this country elected me as their representative. I am, of course, bowing out because I love this country. You would be considered a hero.

I love my country. Why would I? I wouldn't do that to my own country. To run it? No. I'm Donald Trump. There are so many smart people out there who could have done this better than me. He has a very high opinion of himself.

Go back to the drawing board America. If he'd done that everybody would have been like they'd have slow clapped him yeah i agree you've been a folk hero for like generations it'd be like he gave the system the middle finger changed everything i see that i think he'd be very disappointed that he didn't lead they people wanted him to lead people people voted for trump because they wanted those people though like like like a good altruistic version of donald trump shames those people the one that he'd be like hey hey you guys are missing the point i don't know how good trump is at running for president i have a hard time telling so here's evidence that goes both ways. One, he beat Hillary. It was very close.

She got more votes. He got more electoral votes. Hillary's super unpopular. Her negatives are wildly high. Perhaps the easiest person to beat ever. And then he lost to Biden. How did Biden beat him? He just stayed in his basement and didn't fuck up while Trump stabbed himself repeatedly in public.

Like, that's how Biden won. He didn't go out there and have bigger rallies and give inspiring speeches he just let trump be an asshole perhaps dealing with this coronavirus thing poorly and trump shot himself in the foot and lost cool on the other hand now trump seems way more popular than biden if there's an election in a month from now i think trump smashes him you think so i don't know i'm caught up in the fuck joe biden football chance and his lower uh approval rating now it's gone down a bunch uh biden just seems like like democrats are not happy that he's not getting done what they hoped he would republicans of course hate anything he does and who likes biden at this point he's he's not getting done what they hoped he would. Republicans, of course, hate anything he does. And who likes Biden at this point?

He's struggling. It doesn't seem like anybody ever really liked Biden. Like, I never heard anybody. Yeah, it's like I'm voting against Trump. Like, that's what you'd hear people say. I didn't hear one person, even on the news, be like, this Biden policy you haven't heard about is really great. It's like, no, I think that's extra true now, but it's always true that races are about the incumbents.

Whether you want to throw the bum out or bring them back. It's kind of what that... If there's an incumbent running, that's what it's going to be about. If we have another celebrity president, who do you think it's going to be? It can't be Schwarzenegger because he wasn't born here. It's Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey is about to take a run.

It's all mine. He's going to be the governor of fucking Texas if he wants to in a couple years. And he could easily bump that right into fucking president. So many of those people would vote for him. I feel like he gets the dumb

people from both sides. That's his people. And there's a lot of those. I like how your predictor of success is who can get the most dumb people from both sides. I was wrong. That's his people. Before it was cool. And there's a lot of those. I like how your predictor of success is who can get the most dumb people. We just need to get- Oh, Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey. Dumbs on both ends.

That's not a bad predictor of success. He's good looking. He's a really good looking guy. He's only 51, so he's a spring chicken compared to everybody else. He can probably command an audience. Of course he can. He's Matthew McConaughey. Governor Abbott here is deeply unpopular as well.

Is that true because of the abortion thing? The abortion thing, there's banning Delta 8. There's an issue that we're probably going to lose power again this winter. You remember the big freeze and all the people dying in Texas and stuff? Sure. Well, they didn't do anything. And nobody got fined. And a lot of stuff is still not winterized.

And if it shuts down, they get a $1 million fine. $10 billion company, by the way, who donated like $500,000 to the governor's re-election campaign who directly oversees. It's like finding somebody with $10,000 a buck. Yeah, that's exactly what it's like. So there's a lot of stuff here in Texas. I mean, our parliament's breaking down and they there's a lot of stuff here in Texas. I mean, our parliament's breaking down and they're getting weird about critical race theory in schools. And you know, like Texas has like real problems and we're basically fighting a culture war.

Even Governor Abbott has challengers from inside the Republican Party. He's got two or three people challenging him in the primaries because he's not Republican enough. But fighting a culture war wins elections, it seems. Regrettably. Or it can lose it, if people don't like the taste. We'll see. I mean, I guess Biden won. You know who I want to see run?

I want to see a 92-year-old Clint Eastwood run for office. He just showed how virile he is in Cry Macho. Let's test how bad your health can be and run Colin Powell. You just weekend at Bernie's him?

Like before people can vote, he's clearly rotting. Weekend at Bernie's, too. You gotta put the headsets on him with the little music and he'll just like zombie around. I was looking at a list of celebrities who also like run for office and their definition of celebrity is so loose i don't know who these people are sunny bono did it yeah i saw sunny bono i've heard that name but i don't even really know who that is he was sunny and share they were popular music in the 70s i think

they had the show i why would i i was born in 91 it's not like i was born in the 70s like come on why are you so close to it why are you so offended by me not liking what's your favorite i thought it was like cultural it's like like it's like not knowing who elvis is or not knowing who donnie and marie are like some people are cultured and educated some some people know about sunny bono and some people don't. All right. So, okay. I'm not going to change to fucking Sonny and Cher talk. Go ahead. I was going to say, if we're talking about celebrities running, you know a future is coming when YouTubers start running for office.

Like schmucks like us because we have a built-in audience already verified. And just think, imagine yourself running for office right now against anybody let's say state level you could immediately shit all over their life on social media and make a mockery out of any election because you know elections are all about dunking on each other on social media and getting your little like sound bites in and that's all you guys have done for years and you already have an immediate built-in fan base that will support you it's just like before somebody does it like president whoever hates those people usually quite good but if you watch like senate level debates they suck i feel like i could dunk on an average senate debate person you're old and i don't like you get a load of this fucking boomer am i right everyone

what are your policies, Taylor? Fuck you. That might actually work, which is scary. It might. I would get into my position in Congress. I would make my only goal making it so that felons can run for president. Once that was passed, I throw all of my power behind getting President Myers elected. I think felons can run for president.

Okay. I hope not. Well done, Taylor. Yeah, you just had to be over 35 and born in America. There's only two rules. Oh, you can't vote, but you can be the president? That'd be funny. I think that's true.

Would you say that would make that whole part where they do ceremonial? It's not ceremonial. They literally vote for themselves. That would make that whole part where they do like ceremonial. It's not ceremonial. They literally vote for themselves. That would make that little part. Kyle gets an office executive order. Felons can own guns. I am resigning. I just fact checked it.

A person convicted of a felony can run for the office of the president in America. Well, let's just keep that one close to our vest as sort of a backup plan. Yeah. If the podcast fails. Yeah. You have to be 35 and born in America. Well, let's just keep that one close to our vest as sort of a backup plan. Yeah, if the podcast fails. Yeah. You have to be 35 and born in America. That's it. Those are the rules. What would your policies be? We're going to cover 100% of

lock and load on Medicare. Just anybody can have it. Make America nut again. I would build a wall. Build a wall around what? I think I would want a wall No no Build a wall around what I think I would want a wall between us and Canada I've had just about enough of them That's where the cold air comes from

I mean it'll still come through But we'll regulate it What we do instead is Stop building the wall on our southern border We just build walls around entire foreign nations That we don't want them coming here Perfect Julius Caesar style. Yep. To keep them

trapped. So if we could turn their country into a prison. Yeah. What is it called when you acquire another piece of land? It's something like acquire. Annex. We would just annex Mexico and Canada. I don't want to be responsible for it. Yeah, I don't want to be responsible for

Mexico. They've got a lot of troublesome things going on. Once we make them great, you'll like them. I don't want... How about we annex a country that's not touching us so vacations are more fun? Ooh, I like that. Yeah, like I don't want to go vacation in Canada or Mexico. Let's annex France.

Our last president wanted Greenland. He tried to buy it. Yeah, that would have been nice. We all like that idea. Anybody who's listening to this who wasn't at least intrigued when they heard Donald Trump was talking about buying Greenland,

you're an asshole. I don't care who it is. That was such a cool idea. Donald Trump offered to buy Greenland. What did they say? They're like, yeah, don't Trump. I were to buy Greenland. And now we can just. What did they say? It's like, no, everything's for sale. What's your price?

They said, OK, now we're now they're American. I don't even know what's a high number. I hope your military doesn't stop us. Ten trillion. Like, no, I don't know. I have no idea what it's mostly ice and the population of greenland is 56 000 but so that's like buying a small u.s every time we overpay for one of these things the louisiana purchase the was it falkland's folly the what was alaska called fulton's folly yeah

it was something like that it was in hindsight they were fantastic ideas so go ahead overpay for greenland make it our 51st state let's do it yeah except you can't we've talked about this you can't stop at 51 we have to have an even number so let's let's go for iceland while we're at it can't we just let puerto rico in finally they've been actually that's fine yeah that's an we take greenland and then we let puerto rico in if they're number 52 then the stars look right those puerto ricans out there they've been working hard for a long time. They deserve to come on in and start paying their fair share. I think we could use a refresh.

Or have a representative in Congress or the ability to vote. And by the way, Woody, I think all of those purchases that you mentioned, the Native Americans would disagree that it was a fantastic idea. Quote, unquote, Native Americans. Oh, my God. I mean, it depends on which Native American tribe you're talking to. I was born here.

The ones that used to live there are the ones that got conquered by them. They said... I heard something that made sense to me. Like, why they made such horrible deals. Because they didn't see land as something you could own. Like, land is just there. It's huge oversight.

Yeah, right? Like, oh, you're giving me say tools axes uh saws metal things beads whatever that was in front of the beads and i give you land it's like selling you air like you don't actually get anything i keep running around the concept of land ownership to the point where like then the person would be like okay now get the fuck out of here they're surprised they're like wait what what do you mean I was under the impression that I was

ripping you off for your guns I'm sure that happened like I would have loved to if people talk about all these these time travel time travel things like oh I want to go back and see dinosaurs The oxygen level would be such that I think you'd pass out Right away they'd eat you within hours

And there's bacteria back then that your Immune system doesn't know anything about You'd just die You'd look fine in water too A cool time to go back to Was when they made that First white man Native American Deal for like

a barrel of glass beads for one million acres of prime forest and and fields and then and then he was oh yes right away and and then they were like so get the fuck out you can never be here again and him coming to that realization i just want to be a fly on that wall or tp or whatever the fuck and and i want to remember the commercial where the native american has that single tear and you know that like they were riding to the meeting that day like these fucking retards going to give us guns for all the air above the land can you imagine the white man like a bunch of fucking retards from across the bond i get it like okay they clearly made the bad call but i can almost understand a society that has no concept of land ownership like i i get it

you were what if i sold my soul taylor i'll give you my soul for a million dollars afterwards what do you get nothing happened right let's make it a million charlie bucks instead and 100 stanley nichols yeah one made-up thing for another my friend we're talking about land use it's a little different in europe a lot of countries uk and quite a few of them in the eu have public access to lands even if they're private so like let's say you own like a thousand acres in the forest and it's your retirement home. If teenagers or whatever want to come camp on your land, you can't kick them out because it's, everybody's considered to have free access to the land, to enjoy nature,

to camp, to hike, to whatever. Now they can't come within some number of feet of your house and they can't tear stuff up, but even farmers and stuff, they have to let people at least travel through their land or stay in it for a day if they're camping a lot of places in europe i think uk is like that but a few other places in europe have similar laws unofficially i feel like that it's america too now i know it's not really that you can't go on people's land like i get it but if you own two acres and your house is on it then i get it i don't step a foot on your grass that's your yard that's your house is on it, then I get it. I don't step a foot on your grass. That's your yard. That's your house. You know, it's trespassing. But if you own 20,000 acres, even though you own it,

it feels kind of public resourcey. It's not, but that's how you get shot. We were always, I would not do that. We were always really careful hunting, um, about trespassing because, you know, if you're going to bump into anybody, they're going to have a gun. And you don't want to have – nobody wants a gun battle at night in the woods, as cool as that might sound. So, yeah, that was – I like your eyes, Kyle. I mean, then what do we do? Like, go back to their – like, hey, so we shot this guy.

He shot first, though, because we were trespassing, you see, on his land. Because of... Oh, shit. Yeah. We really tried not to ever do that because, you know, you get in a lot of fucking trouble.

Not far from me are the woods, right? And somebody owns it. I feel like if you walked your dog on one of those trails that you know there's horses on those trails already because they're it's adjacent to a farm then i don't know it just doesn't feel like you're different people's property growing up had different like boundaries it depended like how well i knew the person and um and you know like uh you know how the person and, um, and you know, like, uh, you know, how the conversation would go if they were to like drive up right now and see me on their

property. In some cases, it's like, Hey, and like, they don't even stop and talk. They're just like, yeah, Kyle's over there doing a thing. I go mountain biking in the woods sometimes, not as much as I should, but whatever. And I want to be like, yeah, bro, but I've seen your horse go across my street and my yard a zillion times so i'm mountain biking on yours is this not cool you know some people may not be i think their horses need when i see it you know i would ask for i would probably ask for something like that

i don't know are you liable in europe when i'm riding my motorcycle through this uh like neighborhood i'm just like it i'm loud. I'm loud. I don't care. I think I'm dealing with it. Not if it's super early, but if it's prime time, if they should be up, I'm not slowing down and putting through the neighborhood. The weather's nice for bikes right now. Oh, yeah.

It's been great. Dude, last weekend, I went on a big trip, and it was almost sad at times. I don't like winter. I get this seasonal effect disorder, and even now, in anticipation of it, I'm like, ah, it was undeniable. It was 39 degrees when we woke up in the morning or 36 degrees. Dude, that's not summer temps. It doesn't happen at all in the summer. The sun is setting earlier.

We were like racing to camp to get the tents up before the sun went down. And nighttime was cold. You really needed the fire. It was great. I had a really great time, but my buddy was like, yeah, I guess this is the last one of the year. Shucks. You get a little thing you pedal at

home, put on a VR headset. This is not the same. Yeah. Anyway, winter's coming.'m gonna you know what i need winter hobby where i can just say whatever yeah you need to smoke a lot of pot just whatever yourself through smoke lots of pots he's gonna smoke the biggest pot maybe what like half of america did during the I mean, dispensary sales just skyrocketed. Same with alcohol and everything.

I think people just sat home and smoked pot or drank. I bet like like Frito-Lay. I bet they saw some sales like people eating junk food and trash. You know what I just learned? I bet Taylor knew this already, but I thought Ben and Jerry's was this like, you know, two hippies owned it and made it big, etc. Unilever owns Ben and jerry's i do now uh i don't know it used to be the two hippies and they got bought out since yes they got bought out they sold literally sold out yeah just buy it they took the money of course they took the money they were ice cream cream billionaires, right? I don't see anything. They probably had enough either way.

I just, I don't know. Are you looking down on Ben and Jerry's? Jerry. They're just not what I thought they were. They sold out, man. They made hippie ice cream for 40 years, and now they finally want to retire and have a financial secure future for their children.

Fuck them. Oh, they could have. They weren't in the poor house before Ben and Jerry's. Before Unilever came along, their kids couldn't go to college. Father, how are we going to make the new Moo Moo Chocolate Road? Well, we're going to have to

knock at you that new kidney you need, son. No, they were rich as hell. The biggest problem with ben and jerry's frankly is their ice cream is not bad it's good ice cream but the price they sell it at there are way better fucking ice creams than ben and jerry's for similar price absolutely oh you're wrong you are objectively wrong ben and jerry's is there are better ice creams but they all have a pretty similar price range ben and jerry's is like an S tier ice cream pick for me. It's super good almost all the time. And they also have a very great dairy free line. My wife is my favorite flavor. Oh, God, I probably like peanut

butter swirled or coffee. I think it's coffee mocha mocha, which is like a coffee flavor ice cream. Both of those are fantastic. So their cookie does good so this isn't like a a kind of like store-bought ice cream but that best ice cream i think i've ever had is when they do that thing where they uh they like scrape it and like roll it up old ice taiwanese stuff yeah it's it's so fucking good and there's like tons of they like sprinkle the ingredients in and and layer them like they're making a puff pastry but of ice cream. They roll up lots of cylinders of ice cream and then they put that in a cup like a honeycomb type pattern.

It's still just ice cream, isn't it? It's not any better for you. Yeah, but the texture is different. They've been scraping it and rolling it up in these thin spirals. I'm not a big ice cream person, but I've never eaten anything out of a container that was as good as the stuff i've gotten at cold stone

like a basic bitch chain what's the update on the prosciutto uh it's gone i ate it i really hope you saved the bone i didn't save the the bone. I should have. I ate that too. I needed you to be like Fred Flintstone for Halloween and just have that bone. Oh, the way it went is we had company over. This was a couple months ago probably now. And Kyle bought me a giant leg of prosciutto as a wedding gift for me. And I had company over and we were slicing that off and eating cheese with it, eating crackers with it. And I figured, okay, there's like eight, nine people here or something.

We'll get through a significant amount of this prosciutto. But I was doing that stupid thing where like you assume everyone's going to eat as much as me. I was picturing there'd be nine of me in there. Yeah, we all eat a pound and it's gone. Most people were really reasonable about it. And I was and I just kept going back, kept going back to the well didn't i like i really didn't feel good the next day i was i was like i was hung over on the amount of prosciutto i i got tired at one point of trying to make like long thin slices across the top start taking

hunks out i started taking tonks out of it and just eating it like that and like uh yeah we got through pretty much all of it but you can't leave it sitting out for too long i guess after you've like sliced past the fat layer yeah you gotta cure it again yeah but it's great prosciutto i'd rather have that prosciutto again than any ice cream in the world it was great so thank you very much kyle i appreciate that's awesome i'm glad it was good um we thought about uh getting one in colorado but uh it was one of those many thoughts that flew away like like so many dead dry leaves in a on a winter's day where you have these big plant it's like that's the thing when you're like way too stoned it's like you have an idea that's so good and then

you like walk from one room to another and you're like fuck yeah it's gone there's but in that moment you know it it's there it's like this is perfect i have just this knowledge has come from god himself i can't wait to tell people it's like it's like when you wake up after dreaming and you can like feel the dream slipping away in the waking moment where you're like that dream was like me at a costco dude wait where was i i was at a wall okay i forgot it it's gone like at least that's how I am with my dreams. I don't remember. Yeah. Um, yeah, a lot of things, a lot of our big plans, uh, um, went away that, uh, just like that. Uh,

I did manage to order us a bunch of firewood. So we had a big fire one night. So that was nice. We had like a fire pit outside. So that was cool. Um, and we did go go-karting, uh, place with the cool go-karts but most of the other plans I was just like you know I think I just want to get high because I forgot how strong weed was when you haven't smoked before and I'm just real scared

to move around too much right now and I don't think I want to be around any big crowds of people so that's what I did I got so high I was just like i just wanted to stay since you've gotten back and you can like get high on delta 8 and play games have you jumped back into any of those like epic games or anything you were saving for when you could smoke again or not yet um this week i've been only smoking like in the late afternoons like now um because i've been riding

some in the mornings because it's been so cool um like this is the kind of the weather that i had thought would be nice to to ride um not too fast or the you can feel the wind chill changing as you accelerate like like you can feel it like getting colder um you're tired but yeah i have to it makes it it gets actually a thing like i i had a close call this weekend we woke up it was 39 like i said we started zipping around the corners and trying to keep up with my friends and i had a close call tires were cold hmm something flash before your eyes I entered a corner too quickly. And when I hit, well, I entered a corner to speed I would have a thousand times before. And when it went time to slow down, the rear tire was like locking up.

I was like, fuck. Do you ever have dreams about motorcycle accidents? No. I do. Yeah, it was a big thing. I do all the time. Are they motorcycle accident wet dreams um in my dreams i'm just like so uncoordinated and like um awkward on the bike and you know it's it's very surreal right so the bike sometimes is flying and sometimes the bike isn't even moving and sometimes the bike is at

hyper speed or something like that but i'm just i just feel awkward like i don't know i look and there's no pedals or something like that and i'm just sort of like there are no pedals you know what i mean pegs my feet are just like like kicking behind the bike like like that's a that's a trick in your nervous system like you know when you fight people in your dream and your punches always feel weak oh yeah because you're you're kind of partially at least paralyzed while you're asleep so you don't wake yourself up and act out the dream so when you do a thing uh you can you're giving those signals but your arm's not moving so your brain knows like your arm isn't moving in reality but that feels weird in in the dream because you're still kind of expecting to feel

that you think that you know it'll land and nothing happens because because i've also heard people think that it's um you know it's it's a mental thing that it's a mental thing like like because a lot of dreams are about not being prepared for example like you know we all we've i always have the nightmare where surprisingly i'm back in high school and i'm supposed i don't know where my classes are because i haven't enrolled properly in classes and like final exams or it's time for final exams and i'm like i don't how am i here on the last day of a semester like expected to like make everything right like right now like like i have that dream a lot that's funny because you didn't care about school when you were there.

For something like that, I did. You had to graduate. Yeah, you wanted to graduate. That's sort of the nightmare, really, is that graduation might be on the line and it's like, I need this class. I was careful with that when I was going through high school. The math checks out.

We're good. I've had that same dream so many times but in my case it's not last day it's like whatever sometimes it's mid-semester into it yeah i realized oh my god all this time i was supposed to be doing this class now i have to catch up yeah and i have that exact mimic woody like i'll it's i've been out of college as long as you obviously but like i always wake up and i'm like you stupid idiot like why do you why do you like worry about that but yeah it's always like i'm sitting in my dorm and it's halfway through the semester and i'm checking online

and it's like i'm in a finance course oh no oh no oh there's no coming back and then why is no one notified me and there's very little that happens after that in my dreams like it's just like i get really stressed out about that and then it'll either like shift to a different mine will go on and on like like like i will have these long narratives where i'm trying to solve that problem and and it'll involve like just like talking to teachers and and and and principals and stuff and trying to cheat and like, like all sorts of like back, backhanded like efforts to like, I, cause,

cause the thing that would happen to me sometimes is like you, when, when we got our like first quarters, like a report card, if I was failing a class, then I would have to start doing the math, right? Like,

all right, what do I need to make on this test to make the average go up to this? And I, I, that, that, that's where I did most of my calculations and algebra. So I think I'm very different than all of you. I have extremely wild, vivid, and mostly lucid dreams, but there's also usually another me in my dreams that's aware of the world outside me so it usually sets up traps and various things for me for when i wake up and it's very hard to deal with okay so so i sometimes

have lucid dreams i don't understand what you're talking about with the second you okay but but so i'm very interested so uh if you can look this up you can look look up, I'll type it in the chat. Uh, Jungian shadow. Oh, probably my more evil myself. Like thank mega Scott. But for a good example is I had a dream, uh, with my wife when she was then my girlfriend,

we just took a nap in her dorm and I woke up in her dorm and things were normal, but she was some sort of evil witch and she tried to choke me and stab me. So I punched her in the face and then she put a bag over my head and suffocated me and then pow i wake up again a different place and every time i wake up there's a different person usually my girlfriend telling me i'm gonna keep you asleep forever you're never gonna wake up and you're always gonna be stuck here with me forever and ever and ever and ever you know all sorts of spooky stuff

heads spinning around eyes turning black what's wrong with just over and over and over but so here's the trick the thing that's doing that in my dreams is aware of the situation around me so i'm dreaming the real world and eight times in a row i wake up in a nightmare scenario of the room that i went to bed in so finally it, it's like, have fun. And then pow, I jump out of bed like a lightning bolt, scare the shit out of my girlfriend. And the first thing she says is, hey, it was just a dream. Just come back to bed. You know, she's like putting her hands on me like, come on, let's come back down. And of course, I think it's going to be another one of those loops where some sort of horrible monster tries to put me down. Or there was an

instance in my dorm room, I used to have like a big full body mirror or whatever. And we kind of faced the bed and it was the same kind of thing of mirrors over and over again. And the evil version of me saying, I'll be waiting for you when you wake up. I'm real now, by the way, have fun. Pow, wake up, jump out of bed face to face with the mirror. And the idea is that it's trying to trick me into acting out in the real world but thankfully i'm smarter than whatever that is that sounds horrible man so so i'm gonna recommend that you you go talk to a professional about about all that stuff you just shared with

us just now like a dream doctor who can shut down like a like a real doctor with like a like a like a degree and stuff i'm putting no i've done that absolute quack that's kind of i have an entire series on my channel about it i'm sorry i'm i'm a little high but are you describing some sort of a dream demon that you communicate with i used to think it was a demon now you know i mean imagine this imagine you wake up in a office room right and you're strapped down to a chair and you can't move. And then an evil version of yourself looking identical comes and sits down and slaps a giant book on the table and says, you're stuck with me for the next 12 hours. I'm

going to read you a list of all of your sins. Oh, and by the way, you can't breathe the whole time you're here. Pow. 12 hours of suffocating while you hear about every single bad thing you've done in your life, like stuff like that now I did go to therapy for all this and It's all done with all I had to do was kill that thing and consume it and I haven't seen it in a very long time So did you do that? How did it work on the first try? It was at the end of an extraordinary. I had a Extraordinary dream spanning a couple of years, probably.

I turned it into a series for my channel and resolved personal conflicts. And then about a week later, I went and I woke up in the conference room again with evil me. And the implication was that it was time to finish this. So all I did is kill my doppelganger, so to speak, tear it to bits, eat all the flesh, and become one, and then you're normal again. Yeah, that's literally like you're describing like a Freddy Krueger movie. It's like a Twilight Zone thing. So how did you get him to pieces?

Did you tear him to pieces? Did you have tools? With his hands. And as you're doing it, you know you're dreaming. Correct. And you're not tasting anything. Oh, I tasted a plenty. Oh, you're dreaming. Correct. And you're not tasting anything. Oh, I tasted a plenty. Oh, that's gross. What part of you was the grossest?

What part of you was the tastiest? I'll taste it mostly like blood, like uncooked meat. You didn't cook yourself? No. It's all nasty stuff. Save your dream self some worry. Yeah, so those are my dreams all the time. It's basically imagine you would go to sleep and wake up in a world that's created by your alternate self. Now in that you're free to move and do kind of whatever you want, but you don't control it. So you wake up in various sort

of nightmare scenarios over and over and over again. But if you try to wake up and break free, the other you will try to put you back to sleep through more effort. Now I did learn a trick where I could always wake up. If I can get my heart rate up high enough, it'll wake you up automatically as like a safety system in your body. So when I know that I'm dreaming and I know that I'm stuck in a dream and it wants to keep me there, all I have to do is focus for a minute and raise my heart rate high enough to where I start like sweating and it'll just like pop me right out of bed. That's, this sounds like a horrible way to have to sleep but i haven't had so much problems in the last couple of years so that's good well

did the lady like when you went or the i'm assuming it's a lady doctor maybe you said she but like when when you went there to her i'm picturing like you walked through like a bead curtain to to sit down in her or something like that. And like and when you explained your situation, she's like, oh, this is something we experience all the time here. Did she have one like. Milky eye. No, she's very, very young. Yeah, we all pick the Milky Eye, right?

So I did this in college. She was a very young, like less than 30, relatively petite, new psychiatrist, working students for free. And she had no idea what to make of me looking at stuff like disassociative identity and schizophrenia or whatever. And after about three sessions of explaining this, she arrived at the conclusion that I typed in the chat over there, which is Jungian Shadow based on Carl Gustav Jung's various philosophies about the anima and animus, which kind of competes with Freud's id and ego as a system.

Well, it worked, so something went right. Well, probably. Until, so is this supposed to take care of it forever? Or is it something where it's like, well, when it comes back, I have the arsenal, I'll handle it real quick. I think it's more of the second. This type of issue would come up with a conflict within yourself, typically.

So that's how it comes out. But it always comes out in crazy dreams. So I'll dream, and I'll dream for, I said, years. I've had a dream where I was in a dream for like 100 years. I woke up the next morning. I didn't know what the fuck reality was. You're laughing. Okay.

That Rick and Morty game. This is 10 years before I tried a single drug. I never drank, never smoked, didn't do anything. Uh, like none of that stuff, totally sober,

at least chemically normal. Right. Happened all the time. Always have crazy dreams. Yeah. I've never had anything that horrible. I, when I was little,

I had a recurring nightmare that i was late for school and like you know how you're leaving the like you leave the kitchen through the garage and like you hit the thing and it starts closing the garage door and you have to run and like jump over the little sensor and get outside it was a very short dream i would run i would trip and then my head would be crushed by the garage door which could never happen as we all know it would be crushed by the garage door. Which could never happen, as we all know. No, it would have stood, the garage door would have broken. I never really thought about this.

In the dream, I remember the reason I tripped just because I was like, I have to jump over the sensor. But then the thought of the sensor disappeared when I fell down. And then it comes down way faster. Crushed my head. I haven't had that since I was a child. Did yours did you feel it though like in your dreams do you feel things like when you get cut or burnt or hit or something do you like feel it no sometimes no sometimes i don't i never feel it i usually will sometimes i'll do that thing where i like try to

pinch myself on the leg or the arm to try to determine whether i am in a dream and i'm like i hurt a little like how much is it supposed to hurt? You know, I, I've literally had that thought so many times where it's like, well, that hurts a little. I mean,

how often do you pinch yourself in real life though? Right. I don't really, if I start like a, if I start like slow walking, that's when I'll know I'm in the dream. You know, like if you're trying to get somewhere quickly and it's taking an eon to walk

and every step feels like you're exhausted, that's when I'm like, oh, I'm dreaming. Gun stuff is really interesting, right? If I need to like shoot some kind of a monster or something with a gun, I can't pull the trigger. Like it takes so much effort to pull the trigger. And forget about like finding enough bullets to actually load a gun.

Like I'll have a pile of mismatched bullets pull the trigger and forget about like finding enough bullets to actually load a gun. Like I'll have a pile of mismatched bullets and like eight guns. And like by the time I do this sort of like, like, okay, I got one of these and three of those and two of these and four of these. I have one bullet and one gun and the bullet won't go in the gun. Like it's just a nightmare. And then I wake up and your hands don't work right.

Your body doesn't work right. The slow punch is something everyone's experienced. I feel like where you're just getting the shit kicked out of you because you're just too slow to connect. I always have the slow-mo fighting technique and the guns

that don't work. Sometimes the trigger will be so hard to pull that I'll get my second index finger in the trigger guard and i'm literally going you know those those hand exercisers like i'm doing basically like so it's you know like 250 pounds or something to like pull this trigger and i can't fucking pull it to like shoot the monster or whatever the fuck it is and that's got to be like some sort of mental thing right that that's got to be some sort of like not being prepared for like an inability to react to a threat like that's something everybody's fearful of so sure makes sense do you ever drifter did

you ever like have fun dreams or are they all horrible oh that's i would say it's about 99 to one horrible to fun but I have fun dreams. I have normal ones, late for class, school stuff, but my average dream is waking up in some sort of scenario that you'd probably see in a movie. That would make me so stressed to even try and fall asleep if I was dealing with that all the time.

When I was in college, I basically didn't sleep. You know, since you... Have you told these things to your medical doctor you know the one because because it does seem coincidental that you have both eric knows this uh the other guys medical condition that no one can put a finger on and you've also got like what sounds like one of the freddy krueger movies going on as well yeah well i'm pretty sure it's not an external thing to my head but it's problematic to deal with. I mean, pretty sure is the phrase I would use. Yeah.

But no, I've told my medical doctors it's something, well, as it is needed in the case of working with Derek and his team. They know I kind of gave them a rundown on some of that stuff. So, yeah, it's it's not something I keep secret. I literally did a whole series about this on my channel, like 20, it's, it's not something I keep secret. I literally did a whole series about this on my channel, like 20, 25 videos. I have more coming this Halloween cause they're scary stories and stuff, but it's, um, it's, it's a weird experience to basically wake up in a movie indefinitely years. You're an interesting study for, for hallucinogens though, right? I've never done a hallucinogen so i don't know oh

and marijuana doesn't really affect this one way or the other that's like the the mildest of hallucinogens like like i don't know like like colors might look a little brighter to you it's about as intense as marijuana gets but like lsd or dmt or mushrooms or something would be interesting maybe you'll i don't know especially dmt the way that's described. I want to do DMT. It's a little bit scared given the information I've just given you. The odds of me going on a not so great trip are a little bit higher than I think. Yeah. You're going to go to a scary place, but it'd be cool. But it's a cool, scary place. Yeah. You can do anything for 15 minutes. Yeah. But it's time dilation and he's already seemed to experience some,

he says he's experienced some ridiculous form of time dilation and he's already seemed to experience some he says he's experienced some ridiculous form of time dilation in his dream in his dreams yeah so like he could take dmt and never come back he's just permanently there when he comes back he doesn't know english yeah i don't know i don't want to do that i understand time dilation but somehow i'm like but it's bullshit it's yeah but but it's perceived you will get I'm like, but it's bullshit. It's 15 minutes. You will get to the other side. It's perception. It's not literal. But you guys have never experienced anything like that?

I just hit you with some crazy shit here in the middle of the show? No, that sounds real scary, what you've got going on. I wish you the best with it, though. Oh, no, it's sorted. That literally sounds like demons. I used to think it was when I was in high school or in college. I used to think it was a demon that I'd have to deal with every day.

I think 5% it is. 5% chance. One out of 20, baby. People are too quick to rule out demons. Woody's always like, no way, it's demons because those aren't real. And I'm just like, yeah, probably. You've got to leave a little bit of a chance in there that it's demons. There's no evidence that there are demons.

I mean, there's no evidence that there are demons, and there's no evidence that there aren't demons. Well, that doesn't make those equal to each other. There's no evidence that goldfish don't fly when you're not looking. But aside from demons, you've never had a dream. I've seen those flying fish, though. You've seen those, right? The ones that come out.

Those can go for a couple hundred meters with the wind. They're not goldfish though. I saw them though. It was on the animal planet. You guys believe in demons? You think they're supernatural beings bumbling around invisible all around us? I don't think so. I think they're mostly in your dreams.

But because you literally have described like meeting a demon man in your dream, which sounds like the scariest thing ever. Someone would have gotten a good demon photo by now. I'm gearing up for imagination. Do you guys want to do another story time about demons? Yes. I'm going to need a soda if you've got a demon story. I do.

I do have a demon story. Do you want a soda? Let Kyle grab his soda real quick, and then you can regale us. It's perfect. It's Halloween. Let's talk about ghosts and ghouls and goblins and stuff. Exclusively ghoul and goblin talk.

I'll tell you about a demon I saw once. Real nasty piece of shit. Goblins, probably the least scary of the goblins, demons, ghouls kind of triad. Think of them like ghoulies coming out of the toilet, you know, little... Yeah. ...punchkin type things. They're not scary. Like, goblins are...

I feel like goblins would be scary because you know that his demon master is nearby right but what is scary are trolls part of this uh it depends on the kind of troll if it's like the kind with the belly button ring not scary if it's like the lord of the rings kind of troll they're very scary yeah okay um i always thought zombies like it zombies ofies, of course, again, depends on the kind of zombies. If they're the 28 days later zombies where they run and if they get even like remotely near you or like sneeze in your direction, then you have it in five seconds. And if the person gets a scratch on them, you have to immediately murder your wife because she's about to become the most lethal predator that's ever been. All right. That's scary. But the most lethal predator that's ever been. All right.

That's scary. But walking dead zombies. My gosh. Yeah. Single people take out dozens of them. That's a cakewalk. There's thousands of them. It's a numbers issue.

It is a numbers issue. I follow. But they're also quite slow. Now, they don't get tired, but it seems like you can relocate. And they have been in a horde, and they just murder their way out of the horde, and they're okay. Them not getting tired would be a big thing, because if they see the direction you're going,

you could hoof it and get out of sight range, and then what? You, all right, I'll take watch. Everybody sleep for two and a half hours until they arrive, and we wake up, and then we run on exhausted legs. They'd get you eventually if they could track you. There's some place accessible by ladder like a rooftop. You're right. That solves it entirely.

Or somewhere really cold. Climb a hole, they freeze. But the 28 weeks later one, not only are they faster, they're faster than Usain Bolt and they can climb ladders faster than firemen. Everything gets improved when they become a zombie. So they're impossible to take down.

The most unbelievable part of 28 Days Later is like, oh, no, there wouldn't be a hideout in this scenario. No one would have survived this. You'd be so fucked. No, that's not true. You'd be tracked down so quickly. There's like billions of people. There have to be a few that stayed inside. Maybe.

What's the scenario? We're talking about 28 Days Later. Yeah, 28 Days Later zombies are out there. There's not going to be a few that stayed inside maybe what's the scenario we're talking about 28 days later yeah 28 days later zombies are out there there's not going to be a huge resistance like walking dead like they're too quick they even like they have like scenes in 28 days later where you can see like the zombie thinking things through and like oh i recognize the tactic of the non-zombie well the thing about the 28 days later scenarios those are crazies technically speaking because they're still alive. They're just crazy, like psychopathic, rabid people. So, like, it is a little bit more difficult to deal with that.

They're zombies for the sake of it. Yeah, yeah. Actually, they're not zombies. Oh, you hush. They are zombies. I see that because they're not going to decompose or anything, right? They're just going to eventually get old and die. They could starve, yeah. But they eat each other

probably. I haven't seen that movie in so long. I don't know. Because it just seems to me like zombies are kind of supernatural in a lot of ways. Those Walking Dead zombies should have fallen over by now. Yeah, they would have. That's the plot in the movie. 28 days later the word is they

chain him up to see how long he takes to starve and then they can't even keep the one that's chained up from fucking someone up when they go in the courtyard that's how how wily they are but speaking of the spook uh spooky season you have a demon tale i do i do we're going off the rails here tonight all right so a little context as a child i always used to see things ghosts demons goblins monsters voices all this shit constantly i hated it um but it was a part of my reality but it got lesser as i got older so probably something growing up environmental hormonal whatever yeah uh in this was probably about was like 12, 13 years old. And in that time, I was very tired of this aspect of my life. So I used to try to take pictures of things like that when I whenever it would pop up, whenever I would see it.

Because I figured ghosts hate cameras, right? Yeah. And I was living in a place in Kentucky that I considered to be extremely haunted. I have a story about an evil doll I can tell you as well. Or dolls, plural, that move on their own. So I was freaked out. I was like a little nervous ball of mess of a kid. Every fucking day there was a voice or a noise or some goddamn light or some spooky thing or some problem.

At least a couple times a week, right? Can you describe what it was you were seeing? Like a fully formed thing, a shadow? We're getting there. We're getting there. Okay. So in the context of this story, I'm minding my own business in my bedroom. I'm just cleaning it. I'm like 12, 13. It's a mess. Right. And it's a nice like old wood cabin kind of place. So we have these wood doors with the complicated grain pattern and stuff. And I'm minding my own business and I look over at the door and I watch it like warble very briefly as if something is trying to push through the wood grain pattern. Now, here's the bizarre thing, which you're probably imagining is something like the predator or like an elite from Halo standing in front of it with like the light bending.

But it was more like my brain was opening to a pattern in the wood grain that I could previously not perceive, but now that I could, and it was both moving and not moving at the same time. And it was wiggling and wobbling and coming together. And it formed the shape of something that I would say would be a cartoon demon, something like you would imagine out of an eighties or nineties scary movie, you know, demonic, uh, uh, goat legs legs scary hands with nails and horns and whatnot huge full frame of the door just standing there and it's like hi um i'm like flipping out i'm like turning white and i'm like just fucking scared shitless and the thing starts talking to me and telling me uh how fun it's been to play with me and that my brother's on the chopping block next. Can't wait to see what he's going to do to him.

Jesus. But it was talking not in my ears. It was talking up here. There was a voice and thoughts in my head that were not my own, just flowing in from somewhere. And I was panicking. And I remember as a child caring about my brother a lot. So I told it to stay with me and leave him alone. And it thought this was very amusing,

said it would do so. And then said, let me give you a little preview of the future. And the wood grain just snapped and it was almost like a TV screen, but like 2d and made of wood lines, just flashing little things in the, that theoretically would be in the future. Also an awful nasty stuff, right? A lot of bad things. And theoretically would be in the future. Also, also an awful nasty stuff,

right? A lot of bad things. And then pops back to the demon and it's just like, bye. And immediately the pattern goes away. It never changed to begin with. I could no longer perceive this. And the scary thing was that of the four things that I was shown,

three have come true. Ooh, I'm, I'm sure not all of them are things you want to share are any of them something you could it's primarily personal things with my family fair enough yeah things that would you know like how grandma dies stuff like that let's um so you were hallucinating regularly as a child all the time um not all as i got older much lesser as a very young child yes at the very least.

I, as an adult, I think Taylor phrased that incorrectly. When did the visions begin? As long as I can remember. You're right, Kyle. I'm sorry. This is, this is the Halloween season. We need to buy in. Literally as long as I can remember.

You want to kill her doll story? When did you realize you were a seer? When I was seven years old, i had to go to uh various like psychiatrists and analysts or whatever to let them do whatever they were going to do they put me on a lot of different medications that children should not take and it didn't help the problem at all i had a terrible home environment so it's probably some manifestation of that that kind of instability is really bad for little kids a lot of scary movies stuff like that um you ever see any aliens or anything no i've seen shadow people i've seen lights uh shadow person man it's a person it's like a fucking like a shadow on your

wall of a person but there's no fucking person there well i hate that yeah i don't like that either i don't care for that either your home life extraordinarily bad or like normal bad? Like parents got divorced, like half of kids go through. Extraordinary. Okay. Fuck. Enough to make you see demons and wooden doors. I was having a good day up until like 20 minutes ago. We can make this one.

So the way to think about it, you know, you talked about DMT and that's what gave me the idea. I legitimately think that my brain dropped a tiny bit of the DMT scores that it has because it felt like I was perceiving a pattern that previously I could not perceive and hearing things that I previously could not. I had issues with dolls that would move on their own in the same house. I fucking hated that. It used to creep me out because i always felt like they were staring at me i'm sorry to keep interrupting you but i'm i'm fascinated okay when you say move on their own like it wiggle a little or it would just be here and now it's like in another room yeah like be the second one leave it uh but to an extreme degree so we were rich we

had a giant toy room bigger than this office they had a whole fucking wall of stuffed animals. And they all had these little glass eyes that I thought were staring at me all the time because fucked up little kid didn't like it. It was very annoying. So what I decided to do one day is go in there and turn all 100 of them around to face the wall. So just like teddy bear butts facing the rest of the room and my little play areas, I had a little game station right beside the door to the playroom. So just sit in the door would be like, right, like right here, right here. So I did that. And I was like, great, I'm gonna go play Road Rash on N64. And I do that for a little bit. I was like, I want something from the toy room. So it might have been an hour and a half later. Nobody is going in there. Parents are like gone, gone. It's just me. If somebody did go in,

it would have had to been like, right beside me beside me. Right? I go in there. Parents are like, gone, gone. It's just me. If somebody did go in, it would have had to been right beside me, beside me. I go in there and all 100 of these fucking dolls have turned around and they're not just facing outward on the shelf like where they were, but the ones on the further ends are angled in so they're all looking at the door

the very moment I opened it. Did you turn them back around? Yeah, I just closed the door and left. Just fucking out. Bye. See ya. Did they ever move again after that? I've never seen or heard anything. I wish. No, you don't.

You don't wish. This sounds horrid. Why would you want this? I don't want what he's got. Clearly he has a thing going on. A touch of the crazies. I just want to see a door wiggle one time or something like that. I want it to turn into like the Pillsbury Doughboy or someone good. Kyle, you're muted.

I've seen Lights. I've seen Hat Man, The Old Woman. I've seen, heard plenty of number of like weird, mostly weird sounds. You hear things dragging around in the wall, our little voices and whispers and stuff um but okay so it wasn't just me it was the whole family we all had to deal with this shit for like seven years it was terrible so they were seeing stuff as well with dolls and yes my mother especially she's got a whole host of colorful mental problems so her reporting is less than reliable. My brother has a few creepy stories.

He was very young. And the interesting one is that the old man, my stepfather is like this Vietnam war veteran. He's not into this spooky ghost shit. My mom complains about ghosts all the time. He's like, shut the fuck up. You don't know what real horror is.

Finally, then fucking last a normal person. And I'm all here alone. Listening to the last 40 minutes of make-believe bullshit none of this happened none of it got him through none of this is anything it didn't get him there was a night we heard steps sprinting through the house and noises he bolted up out of the bedroom shotgun who's in the house and we're all like we've been telling you it's a fucking ghost he's like bullshit and just starts going around to see if there's anybody like breaking in the house or sneaking around outside and stuff like that so we got him a time or two

too the the demon got him you just don't believe what you're just you're just a skeptic well here's the reality it's what happened from my perspective which is only as reliable as you believe in me and so i think you have a mental illness but but i wish you the best just i believe in your ghost stories this much well see what do you know we talked about this with like the schizophrenia thing we talked about schizophrenia a couple weeks ago like in their eyes everything they're saying is 100 real and. And like, they're not, they're not trying to like pull the wool over your eyes. They're like, no, I saw a shadow person. And so like, to them, it's real. And so it's like, just as horrifying as if it is real, you know? Sure. And you can't unremember it. So as an adult, this continues about three or four times a year,

I will briefly see or hear a thing that's not there. Not a spooky ghost. I mean, it'll just be like, I'll just be like laying in bed by myself and it's dead silent and i'll hear uh welcome to wendy's what would you like to order i'm like the fuck just ran number six with a coke zero yeah just coming like maybe like one shadow person scooting by and then going to do his own thing super quick uh but the difference between that and schizophrenia is a schizophrenic almost certainly believes that schizophrenics are confused that all of you don't see the same thing they don't it's like the object permanence or that one person can have knowledge that the other one doesn't there's like an incongruency so those hallucinations are reality but in my case i know that they're not real damn that as a kid you probably thought they were real though right oh very real yeah very very much

so that's horrible i've never seen a demon or a ghost anything like that you know but i guess it's only a matter of time woody until one crosses my path i had night terrors for a decade i was oh no yeah my listeners have heard it before but but in fast forward, my house got robbed. I confronted the burglar. Later, the police called him. I think I read about someone like that in the paper. But even though in the moment, you know, it was the man I would aspire to be. Afterwards, I was terrified. I couldn't sleep without a knife underneath me. The burglar had been in our home, like, I don't know how many times, eight times, 12 times, like a bunch. And what are you guys laughing at? Oh, no. I'm not laughing. Drifter was saying, this went off the rails.

I'm like, it's all good. You're good. No, I'm not laughing at your trauma. It's not. So to roll it along, I had this recurring dream where I'm sleeping. There's a figure in the doorway and i need to either fight him off or defend myself but i'm sort of sleep paralyzed and then i would wake up in a sweat and you know not be paralyzed anymore and that happened to me

for like a decade it was a long time it was it was like a ptsd level trauma that every night no it was really frequent. And in the first couple of years and infrequent towards the end of the 10, you weren't seeing like someone sitting at the foot of your bed or anything like that when you were in like the terror state, right? In the dream, I would see someone in the doorway,

like, you know, blocking is the only entrance into the room and he was coming for us and and then i would you know i was just trying to get up and handle it but i couldn't move because i'm asleep and you know that you know you're in that state where like what's happening in real world is kind of playing out in the dream too and i'm just barely able to move in the dream i'm paralyzed with fear until i wake up then what happens when you wake up? My wife would console me, say it was just a dream.

Like that's what happened. I realized it had to have been a dream. And this probably doesn't happen like at all anymore. Right. Yeah. Sounds a little bit like sleep paralysis in a sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That always sounded so horrifying.

I'm so glad I've never had a night terror sleep paralysis and like the friends i've i've had over the years who have it and talk about it so many of them have the same exact thing like it's not like we're sitting around in a circle talking about it's many people over the years i'm talking to and they all say they see a figure whether it's a demon or a ghoul or a ghost or a goblin all sitting yeah sitting on the bed looking at them like they're all sitting on the bed with them and it just is weird to me that like all these different people different walks of life they all say no same thing a demon sitting on the bed with me looking at me right next to my feet yeah in my case it's dark i can't see what's up picture

i'm a little bit dressed like the guy from scream like some sort of cloak or whatever and uh i don't know I gotta deal with shit and I can't because I've got sleep paralysis have you ever had that Kyle? no I've never had sleep paralysis or anything really like that I've had some really scary nightmares

but I also have this weird thing and I've done it since I was a kid where like if I'm in too scary of a nightmare, I'll jump off of something high, straight out of my head, try to kill myself in the dream, and I'll wake up right away. I'll have dreams where I'm falling from a mountain or something. I'm just falling, except then the fall decelerates and then i'm just walking like it just the fall just ends and it's like that like stomach like roller coaster feeling but it's not even unpleasant because like even though like because i'm never falling i'm like failing at flying it's never like straight down it's like going down like that

until it's just like just start walking like the Harry Potter people when they're like all going through that warp and then they're just fine walking. Then you're almost flying. Yeah, but I always know I'm dreaming when that happens so it doesn't really get too spooky. Man, I don't have any good nightmares to share. If y'all are falling, do you wake up before you hit the ground? No,

I hit the ground and like have a sensation of breaking my neck and then I wake up. Hey, we're in the same boat. Oh no, I'm the opposite. I wake up just before I hit the ground and have a sensation of breaking my neck, and then I wake up. Hey, we're in the same boat. Oh, no, I'm the opposite. I wake up just before I hit the ground. Probably the better way to do it. Yeah, I didn't know there was another choice. I choose mine.

If I don't jump high enough, then I just hurt my neck, and now the bad guys are closer. I've never tried to commit suicide in a dream, ever. I've never tried to commit suicide in a dream, ever. Yeah, I learned that there's a minimum height to accomplish suicide in a dream. And I tried to jump off a chair once in a dream. No, that's not high enough. You got to get five feet off the ground, six feet off the ground, something like that. A chair? Cats can jump from any height in real life.

What do you mean? They can jump from any height? They could jump off a 10-story building and land on their feet and walk away. No, that's not true. I'd be skeptical. I mean, you could just throw them off the bridge and be fine. The idea is that the terminal velocity of a cat is less than a cat's ability to shock absorb. They cannot reach a speed fast enough to be dangerous to them without being launched.

Hold on. Sciencefocus.com has an article on cats and terminal velocity. They looked at 132 cats that had fallen an average of 5.5 stories and survived. It found a third would have died without emergency veterinarian treatment. Well, I don't count. The injuries were worse and falls less than seven stories than in higher tumbles. No shit. Yeah, but why is that interesting in this thing?

I'm going to guess that the ones that fall from higher than 75 feet are going to be more tore up. Also, Woody, I don't want to rain on your parade. They spell stories wrong in this article. 5.5 S-T-O-R-E-Y-S. See, if you can find a picture of the science... That could be a UK article. That's how they spell that?

I think so. I hate that. I could be wrong. Oh, Captain Smellcheck over there. It's a BBC-focused magazine. It is a UK article. Stories? Now look at me. Quite the dumbass for not knowing that. This brain?

This is hard science, Taylor. We're throwing cats off of buildings. Researchers say cats reach terminal velocity at seven stories, 21 meters. If you, like, threw the cat down the five stories, you'd have no chance. No, it wouldn't matter because it would still hit terminal velocity if you throw it down faster than terminal velocity it'll decelerate to terminal velocity because that's like the equilibrium point between eventually it will 5.5 eventually yes over that distance maybe not as much um the bigger problem is if you launch them like out of a cannon or something you'll have both a vertical and a horizontal component of your velocity and energy and all the force actually. That's why shooting bullets straight up doesn't do anything

because they just fall down at terminal velocity is nothing. But if you shoot them in an arc, they'll maintain that horizontal velocity and have vertical when they hit, which can be bad. So if you launch cats out of a cannon or a catapult or any other type of device, it's my preferred method. Excellent man of culture. It's actually worse for them than just throwing them off a building. I don't know this for research. I know this. I've thrown a lot of cats. Alright, let's be real here.

This article cannot be right. And I'm going to tell you, when you launch a cat, it's cheating because they do not survive. Look at this article. It says, it just casually says this sentence. Well, cats have been known to fall from over 30 stories and survive it's not very common or thoroughly stories that's that just this one says that when cats reach terminal velocity their survival rate goes

up because they relax they floof yeah and this one's also one lucky kitty did fall 32 stories and keep its life and its wits in fact the cat walked away with a chipped tooth and a collapsed lung. What the fuck? That's so funny. My dog fell asleep and he rolled off the top of the couch the other day. He just swung and scared himself. And he barely made it. I just hear the loudest sound a 12-pound dog can make.

I just hear, boom, the loudest sound a 12-pound dog can make. So I think where we stand now is that cats can fall from a shockingly high distance and still survive. However, I still am not quite sure that cat can fall from an infinite distance, essentially. If a cat falls from an infinite distance, it has a chance. If it falls from an infinite distance, yeah, it yeah it'll starve it will never hit the bottom well let's let's just if a cat halo jumps without a parachute fall a 10 mile no parachute fall a cat could survive it so i think that's true in theory but for almost everything i mean people have survived falls like that that just yeah but make it very common people yeah right what i'm saying is if we go up in a plane and we throw 10 people out all 10 are fucking smoked

they're dead if we go to that plane we throw 10 cats out i'm saying six walk away easy no i'm saying one or two i'm giving it three i think three cats walk limp away i don't know we're gonna hit trees and shit, too. They love that. That's a mixed bag. That can break your fault or it can impale you. It's all Rambo. It's okay. All right. If anybody's listening, you have access to

a plane, some cats, and no ethics. You don't have a grip on ethics. You're in our area. You're a psychopath. This should be Elon Musk's next thing. He's not evil enough already.

Instead of those very complex rockets to slowly lower the vehicles back down to Earth, he just puts cat feet on them and lets them land. Cat feet and a tail whipping around. He would tape cats to the bottom of the launch pad.

A trillion dollar idea. Oh, it's just a bunch of cats taped to it. 10,000 cats. It's all spinning in sequence. I'm imagining the giant ball of critters and critters too, except it's cats and they're all on on the bottom and it just smushes. Critters too.

That's a fine film. Yes, it is. The only one that has a. I watched Tremors recently. Have you guys seen that? I've seen all of them. We're talking more about Tremors.

It's a masterpiece. Dude, it was good. I forget. Maybe Kyle got it, my head on it. And then Reddit started loving Tremors. Every character in Tremors was sort of respected and not stupid.

Even two, one of them being Kevin Bacon, were kind of like dumb laborers, but not all their ideas were bad. And they were listened to. There's a scientist doing PhD work on Tremors who's listening to these laborers and considering their ideas like their equals. And it was kind of interesting to see a movie where there is no real dumb jackass cannon fodder. They don't fight each other either.

Yeah. They don't fight each other. They disagree here and there, but yeah, but they're all not a villain either. If you think about it, usually in monster movies like that, you have like human uh villain who's like mixed in like the the greedy land owner or who was like mining and that's what woke up the graboid you know that that character

would be there normally um and that doesn't exist in tremors uh or in tremors too in fact like the coolest part of tremors too was the mexican government was like yeah whatever you want whatever you want it all took place in mexico right the first one oh i don't know about the actual filming the second one the second one is all in mexico okay that's what i thought it's like 900 it's like tremors second one is tolerable but after that it gets into that sci-fi channel bullshit that's just you can't watch and appreciate but

the second one basically it doesn't have kevin bacon because kevin bacon became kevin bacon but it's got the other guy and they hire him to go down to mexico deal because some natural gas company has an issue with with graboids down there and he gets like this white guy who's his partner and they and they've mastered this new technique where they've got RC cars, like remote-control cars, with dynamite on them. And when the Graboid grabs it, it takes them down, blows them up, and they're killing slews of them. But then they realize they need more help because the problem's super serious.

By the way, they're getting paid, I think, $10,000 a worm, and they're killing like... That seems cheap, though. It's piling up. It's adding up quickly. They're murking them. It's like an extermination. They're not even a threat anymore. It's like $10 a day or something like that. They're making $100,000 a day at least. So they bring back the gun nut from the first movie. Remember Bert? Sure. Reba McEntire was

his wife. He is the character who after the second Tremors is your mainstay guy throughout the entire series he is in every single sequel and there are I'm not exaggerating at least seven total movies it's like Star Wars Tremors in Antarctica is what they did, I think. Yeah. And so the hook in the second one is that the worms are only like the second part of the gestation process. They're like the larva that's going to become a thing. And it turns out that they become three of these bipedal creatures that run run around above ground people yeah so they weren't prepared to deal with that at all and things went sideways yeah so they're not prepared for that so

they're like even all the all the firearms that burt has brought are like the biggest rifles that exist like and he's had the bullets like cast from solid bronze and like they're made to shoot through buildings and stuff like that like he's got armor piercing like terrifying stuff and their enemy is like the size of like i don't know a goat or something like that i wanted you next to me as i watch tremors burt for people don't know this movie burt's a survivalist you can picture the gun wall practically matrix like in his basement and okay so he has a gun that shoots some sort of big round it's like an elephant gun of some sort i don't know the details and then he also has an ar-15 which if you guys don't know shoots a very small bullet um the army moved to it because the soldiers could carry more bullets and they thought they'd be more effective with these lightweight ammo okay cool kyle you are shooting a big worm thing i guess

it's called a graboid do you want like two shotgun slugs or elephant rounds because it didn't seem to have much or do you want 30 little bullets from an era 15 i don't want a gun at all. The gun's a waste of time. It's going to be very rare that the gun's going to matter. Like, the gun might be helpful as he's eating you. You get to use the gun. But you're already eaten, so you've got to blow him up.

You've got to stay in vehicles and you've got to use the explosives. You'd just be better off running. The gun can't hurt him. Yeah, because they're on the ground 99% of the running the gun can't hurt him yeah they're on the ground like 99 of the time like you can't shoot through dirt well no no in this case he was attacking through a basement wall yeah but that's like the dream scenario right like like like it happened in the movie you gotta keep luring them all back here to that base he was busting through the basement wall and he had a gun wall on the opposite side. They're like grabbing shit off the wall, firing.

And I'm like, I need Kyle here to guide me on which gun to pick. Will Smith takes out the one single alien ship. He's like, yeah, I'm going to line all your friends up right out here. After the harrowing journey it took to take one of them out. I think you need explosives.

The second one's pretty good. In case you want to watch it, I won't spoil one of the funniest gags because it involves that cannon of a rifle that he's brought. So make it an elephant then. If you wanted to shoot an elephant. Elephant gun, I guess. Not an AR-15 with 30 rounds. Yeah, you want an elephant gun.

By the way, you're trying to save yourself. You're not complying with the law or anything. Yeah, I want to kill it with one shot. I want to break it down. I want it to get shot and be like, oh no, like oh no i just got shot right yeah you don't want the elephant to go motherfucker marcellus wallace sees bruce williams the red light he's got that coffee and donut how many you don't want to shoot an elephant and have him react in that manner right okay yeah your aim is tremendous k. How many rounds just from an AR

do you think it would take to kill an elephant? I don't know what elephant skulls are like. I don't know what that's like. Yeah, I was thinking, would it even penetrate an elephant skull? Sometimes speeds bad. My guess would be that it seems like you just shoot him in the head

and it would go through his skull and it would kill him and he'd fall over dead. But maybe not. That's my initial opinion is that if you shoot an elephant in the head with an AR-15, he drops dead. I'm thinking of something I saw on Mythbusters where they shot into water to see how far the bullet traveled. Yeah. And to their surprise, the.50 cal did not travel as far as they thought. They thought that thing was going to shoot the bottom of the pool.

But instead, it hit the water and stopped pretty quickly because more speed was bad i think so now i'm thinking about penetrating into an elephant probably a comparable task what do you probably want something slow and heavy um yeah so most of those rounds i don't know a lot about them i've read about them you know and reloading manuals reloading manuals are um they begin with the smallest bullet and with the biggest bullet as you might you know maybe that just makes sense but it's the way it works and uh for each round they have this like two-page thing it's like ah invented in 1777 by colonel maximus you know this round was made chain made by chambering this thing into that thing for the first time ever and using the new propellant invented by Hornady.

And they give you this backstory. And then they give you like eight recipes to make that caliber do eight different things. And then in the very back was always like the scary stuff that like i'd never even seen in a gun store or heard of before and that was always like the elephant shit but you know nobody hunts elephants anymore so that stuff's reddit has an answer for us no okay uh this is from a reddit thread where all as we know all the experts reside and they're saying that modern poachers tend to use uh ak-47s to take down rhinos which i know the 7.62 round is bigger but it's a similar kind of concept they're also saying that some poachers prefer 22lr because

they'll put a shit ton of shots like into the eyes or to the neck and kind of like let them bleed out and the general consensus is that your average basic bitch like 5.56 target ammo will probably not penetrate an elephant skull. So you'd have to shoot it in the neck or the eye. But if you go with anything more like special, like anything with a higher grain or three Oh eight or 300 or some of these more interesting rounds, you have a better chance of punching through the skull.

But really it's a matter of shot placement. If you hit an artery or an eyeball and how many shots it's like is it just you shooting an elephant yeah you might miss but if it's you and like six guys hosing an elephant was like a borderlands villain now i mean you you just have to go for the eyes because like think of an elephant and its silhouette as it's charging towards you there's no neck you can't see the neck the eyes are hard to hit I just want to hit it in the head. That's why you need six good friends, like Drifter was saying. Just fire on them.

Go to a foreign country, kill a bunch of elephants with AR-15s, come back, put your pictures on Instagram, get harassed and fired, probably. My dad will be friends. What did I do? You're like wearing the trunk as a scarf.

Those are like older What did I do? What did I do? Like, just, you're, like, wearing the trunk as a scarf. Most of the ones they kill, though, those are, like, older elephants. They actually pay the conservation society for the privilege of killing them. So it helps, in a sense, which is bizarre. But it's a bad culture. But it's a bad look. Yeah. Oh, it's a bad look. That's the same thing that, like, remember that dentist story from years ago where they're, like, this fucking dentist killed this lion.

And then it came out, they're the kenyan conservative like they're like well he was actually uh not able to sire children anymore and he was aggressively like wounding the new males that were trying to get older and so we just let him kill this guy because he would have destroyed the pride or whatever the hell so and then you're like, no, I've decided to be angry. And he also paid like 50 grand to do it towards the conservation society, if I recall correctly. He's done more for elephants than we have. Yes, but I still

look down my nose at him. I know you guys rode an elephant before, but none of you have ridden one before, right? No, I have not. Yeah, I've ridden one before. How am I the only one who hasn't ridden an elephant? Let's see who's got it. Who's got it?

Never ridden an elephant at all. I'm such a fucking loser. What are you, from a third world country? That's where you find the elephants. If you're in a third world country, you probably ridden one every day. Yeah, probably. I rode mine at a circus as a kid on a school field trip. Yeah, circus. I rode mine at a circus as a kid on a school field trip.

Yeah. Circus. I mean, you always see those. Well, I guess these are cartoons from the 90s. You don't ever see elephants go crazy at the circus and kill people, right? Not in the modern day. I'm sure in like World's Fair, like 1904. But what was that?

Some elephant like went wild at like the turn of the 19th century, and they hanged an elephant from a crane as punishment. There's two famous elephant scenarios that you're conflating. One of them involved an elephant killing its trainer, and it was put on sort of a mock trial, found guilty of murder, and then it was hung from a crane to death. And then there was another elephant that

went crazy and went running through the streets, and they shot it to death like the police did. And there's this really haunting photo of it. You could see the fear in its eyes as it's running through the streets. It's real dark stuff. I've seen that. It's sad. The name of the elephant was Mary, and they

posthumously named her Murderous Mary. Aww. Didn't Thomas Edison electrocute one? He did something with alternating currents. In his bid to demonize alternating current, he killed an elephant with alternating current.

He's like, you people want to power your homes with this shit look what it does to old bessie here have you ever thought about electricity was ac the right choice yes a million percent travels farther right right you had massive line losses with direct current uh so like if we had direct current as our main thing computers i guess would run a little more efficiently since you have to convert that but you would have to have a power plant like every quarter mile and if you lived far away from it then you would just have like really weak power on the ends maybe there would just be like coal burning power plants all over every city oh it's my dream come true. Nowadays, solar. This picture I just linked to Zach to put up.

Another propaganda piece about electricity and current. Here's a cartoon of them being like, is this the world you want to live in? Electricity. And people are tangled in the wires. Look how many wires there are. Look at the guy in the back

in the back left middle just woefully cursing god for the lot cursing god and then the cop running away like a maniac the and then like i like the dead horse yeah dude yeah let's not forget about the dead horse and the guy horse yeah and then the child is now an orphan look at how fucking busty that lady is freaking out damn real i yeah i mean that would have been back in the day of like whalebone corsets she'd have had like a 12 inch waist there oh yeah and like the the skull with the the light bulb on the back with like made to look like a spider an evil spider that will pull you up into its web gas lamp in the background yeah the trusty gas lamp not the background. Yeah, the trusty gas lamp.

Not hurting anybody. I don't know why that's not an electric lamp. There's obviously plenty of lines. You just know there's like... That's powered with trusty whale oil. Trusty Smithers brand whale oil. It never hurt anyone. Except for all the animals they killed.

Like the... Well, of course we hurt the whales. No, they killed manatees too. There was a species of manatee that went extinct because because sailors would kill them and store them for food because they didn't have natural predators and they were friendly so i mean if you're eating the manatees i'm okay with it i guess i love them manatees are i've been around like wild manatees when i'm kayaking and they'll like come up right next to you. Like, like so close. You could like almost reach out and touch it.

You can't touch them. That's against the law. But it's, it's like, no, these things really are sea cows. Like the way a cow will walk over when you go to a farm and be like, okay, you're just another one of those things. Did you touch them? And then meander away. No, no, you're not supposed to. That is not a law.

I thought you weren't allowed to touch them. There's lots of things you're not allowed to. That is not allowed. I thought you weren't allowed to touch them. There's lots of things you're not allowed to do that I do anyway. If a manatee came up to me and asked to be petted, I would pet that manatee. If he was the one and I got killed, I'd never live it down. No, the manatee would not.

You got stuck between two of them and they just swished you in the water? I can't imagine not petting a manatee that presented itself for petting. I think it was just curious about what the kayak was. But yeah, I had in my head maybe it's not even right, but I was like, yeah, you're not supposed to touch these, so I'm not going to touch it.

This is another fact check we have to do. Just let me believe it. I'll be bummed if I could have pet it. You could have if you could reach him. This is a wall that has very little weight. You're not allowed to touch them, me believe it i'll be bombed if i could have pet it you could have if you could reach him this is a law that has very little weight you're not allowed to touch them feed them harm them or molest them is our concern that the manatee is they say that about kids too is it is our concern that the manatee is going to go to the authorities and rat us out i think that it must be that people back in the day... Manatees don't talk. No, they don't.

You can molest them all. You know, at one point they're like, you can't touch them, you can't feed them, and you can't harm them. And then they had to have another meeting. And you can't rape them. It's there because somebody did it. The theory is that manatees were the original inspiration for mermaids because sailors would get drunk and see these mammalian humanoid things

and be like, that's a sexy lady. I like them thick. They must have been very drunk on grog because they're huge. I mean, these are sailors in like the 1700s that had zero education, probably inbbred they'll live to be age 35

they're malnourished and they're going to live on alcohol so it sounded a little elitist in their description of saying yeah oh la-di-da you don't drink rum laced water to survive sorry what a depressing thing to have to drink. Grog. That sounds horrible. It's like they used to put rum in the water barrels to help it stay safe, but then you were just drinking low alcohol water all day, which can't really make you feel

refreshed. That would feel terrible. Yeah, it wouldn't be good. And you're sucking on lemons to not die. What a shitty time to be alive. You'd be thankful if you had lemons to suck on. That's true. That was their day when lemons got brought on board. Did they have lemons to suck on?

Can we segue into a Lock and Load commercial? Yeah. We could. I don't think lemons existed then, but yes. Lemons existed. Limes existed. Limes. Lemons are new? Lemons are new, I think. Limes definitely existed. Lock and load. I think lime is the one

that they always talked about them sucking on for scurvy. But I'm sure lemons would have done the job just as well. I had no idea lime Given the option, they would have eaten anything else with vitamin C. Tell them how they can get frothy pools of vitamin C delivered directly. Lemons have been around

since 200 AD. I'm sorry, Taylor. It's directly. Lemons have been around since 200 A.D. I'm sorry, Taylor. No, no, it's okay. We can jump back to lemon talk after the end of the title. Yeah, fact-checked. We're wrong. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Lucy. Lucy Nicotine is a company founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers looking for a better and cleaner nicotine alternative.

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Nicotine is an addictive chemical. So head over to lucy.co and be sure to use that promo code PKA to get 20% off all products in your first order, including the gum or lozenges. This episode of PKA is also brought to you by ExpressVPN. Admit it. You think that cybercrime is something that happens to other people. You think that nobody wants your data or that hackers can't grab your passwords or credit card details, but you would be wrong. Stealing data from unsuspecting people on public Wi-Fi is one of the simplest and cheapest ways for hackers to make money. Thank you. VPN protection that I have. ExpressVPN is rated the number one VPN service by TechRadar and comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

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a VPN, and you know why. Yep. You got to be safe online. And this episode's also brought to you, this and every further episode forever, Lock and Load. Have you ever came and were laughed at by your partner? We've all been there.

Where you come a little baby bitch load and everyone's laughing and barely make it past her belly button like some sort of girly man it's oozing out like a horror movie creature when it could be firing out aggressively even so what you want to do is go to the link below and use the code pka, I believe it is. Or actually, just click the link with the affiliate. It'll take it right away. So check out Lock and Load. Come like a champion. Everyone in your life who, well, okay, your girlfriend or boyfriend.

No. Hey, everyone in your life. Everyone must know. Tell everyone in your life. You guys are going to tell your coworkers, like, dude, check this out. Check this out. Come to the bathroom with me. Your dad in your life. You guys are going to tell your co-workers like, dude, check this out. Check this out. Come to the bathroom with me. Your dad needs to know. Your mom needs to know.

Have you noticed that your parents' love life seems to be a little lesser than what it was at one point? How about you buy a little lock and load for dad, give it to him as a nice little Christmas gift, tell him to take it, tell him to not tell his wife the way Woody is not telling his wife. And then she's going to be like, I'm,

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mine does. No, my, my husband's a little bitch and I'm thinking of divorcing him. These are available. All this and more. When you buy lock and load the load stack formulated by me, Kyle,

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gonna have better orgasms or at least i do from it because the more you're busting look the more sensation you're getting wait for your videos look you see our email right there business at pka online.com that's where you send the videos that's where you send the videos i want to see we need i want to see your most impressive. And look, don't get lazy on me here, boys. This is important. We're going to watch you cum. Don't get lazy here.

I want to see artistic cum shots. Okay? I want to see penises wearing cosplay. I want to see action gifs. 18 frost only. 18 frosty. Chunky cottage cheese like loads of

doom and despair. All over like little, I don't know, like little figurines and stuff. Do like a Mount Vesuvius version, right? Exactly. Anime collectible dolls. And your cock is Pompeii. Every time you come, the girl you're with

is going to be baffled. Baffled. 18 plus only, obviously. You shouldn't be. This is an 18 and older product. It goes without saying. So yeah, show us send Woody emails of loads

that you've taken. Except you can even include a before and an after. And what you're going to also notice, it's not just the volume you're getting more of, you take that you've shown like except you can even include a before and an after so you can and what you're going to also notice it's not just the volume you're getting more of you idiots it's the it's the pearlescence pearlescence it looks so much better yeah it's much like a rapper's car so don't do not don't be a one gulp don't be a one gulp you want to be a titan you want to be a champion make that bitch chew it, lock and load This shouldn't be crunchy

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this ad is a lot more fun to do have you ever considered filming a pornographic ad so you've got the lock and load Kyle's got his brand new body and I'm sure that Pornhub could get together a small budget

maybe your own script and the finale is you're like it's time to lock and load and you actually you and your body now and your junk just sprays all these girls down and they're just done. That's how you advertise it and you can just link to fans directly on Pornhub. It'll look like the scene

from the end of Ghostbusters when the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man explodes and everyone everywhere is covered. Yes. Now, believe it or not, Drifter, we have something like that in the works. What? You've been talking to Chiz? That would be so funny.

We release a porn channel. You've been talking to Chiz about my jizz videos? Spill the beans. He's not supposed to be talking about that. Except it's motherless, of course. That would be. He's not supposed to be talking about that. Except it's motherless, of course. That would be. He's not supposed to be talking about that. We can make our way into the porn industry. Just like whoever the biggest stars are, send them a little shipment.

Hey, give this a go. Can we get that redhead from Reddit whose vagina is so nice? What was her name? She can't use these pills. No. Someone could use the pills on her, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll find, you know, this is a lot of boring business talk, guys.

I know. No, I just want your cum videos. I don't know how we got caught up in all that. Get the guy on Reddit with two dicks. Oh. Ooh, we need to make him one of our affiliated athletes. That guy's whole life. One of our affiliated athletes. Affiliated whole life. One of our affiliated athletes.

Affiliated athletes. That's hilarious. I like that. We have just a line of affiliated athletes. Number one. Don't even have his name. Two Dick Guy. He's like, for the longest time, I was tired of busting,

and only like half a tiny load came out of both heads. It gave the illusion of not a lot of cum. Now he's a fucking triple threat. Double threat, you know, double threat, at least come in any direction. I got a wild story. I didn't actually read his story.

I just looked at the pictures. The shortest version is that he was bisexual and that he enjoyed partners of all types. And he had a prolapse because of the enjoyment in his butt. And it was like one dick worked better than the other but both could work with effort it had a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time uh i think he did actually mention that one of them was like a sad dribbler so i think your product could turn it into a big mighty elephant trunk sprayer i thought you were gonna say that

he fucked um when you said he was bisexual that he fucked men with one penis and women with the other? It sounded like he did. Yes, actually. Yeah. At the same time, sometimes. No, I mean exclusively. No, no, no, that's the man dick. That's the man dick. Don't sit on that, that's gay. That's my girl dick.

That's my girl dick, you disgusting animal. You almost said bundle of sticks, Taylor. Careful, careful. That thing is a week old. I did. What if we had a rule where we here arbitrarily had to suspend Taylor for a week for saying that? We were just like, sorry, man, it's in the charter. It's in the charter.

Sorry man, it's in the charter It's in the charter Dude, I went to his Twitter account And I'm looking and it's It is so weird how they're both penises Like there's not one that's got like a gnarled up Stump, like they're both dicks He didn't get Circumcised even once

I just searched my Google for this Yeah, his name on Twitter is Diephallic Dude And if you just click media and scroll down a bit die phallic dude I guess die phallic is he probably got to pick it like who else has this

no one else wanted die phallic I want to see him hard so I know which one is the good one I know I saw you know there's one with two vaginas yes I watched this porno the other day and she actually has it's actually like Okay. I know I saw... You know, there's one with two vaginas. Yes. A match made in hell. I watched this porno the other day, and she actually has...

It's actually like two vag... It's like one... It's not like two outside vaginas, but there's two inside vaginas, if that makes sense. Does... I don't understand that. Oh, two uteruses. Okay. Well, that's...

But there's like two... There's one more. There's two specific tunnels leading to each uterus. Interesting. Sorry, I'm looking at these pictures. I'm very lost. Yeah, that is just two dicks. That's not a big one and a little one.

That's not, you know, something weird. That's just two dicks where there should be one, man. It's really balanced. Always stretching it. In any case, there are no PKA-sponsored athletes. I will not be coming on any women's faces, on Pornhub anyway.

But we do want your jizz videos. We want your cum clips, and we want them sent to our email there. I'd like them to be classy. So does he pee out of both penises? Yeah, I guess.

I don't know if there's a dedicated piss penis. He definitely does. He definitely pees out of both of them. That's probably annoying. Oh no, it's a picture of one erect and one sad. I'm out. Where are you getting these pictures? I'm going through his Twitter profile. You click on media.

Go up to the top of his Twitter and click media. Oh, they are on his Twitter. Yeah, they're all on his Twitter. I was hoping there was some sort of... He did like OnlyFans or some sort of... My second book is nearly ready for print. He wrote two books? Well, I guess that makes sense.

He must read. He's got two dicks. He's got to write one book about each dick. Yeah. My left dick. Oh, wow. I finally found a picture of it. He has two legit full dicks. In sequence, each of us is going,

so it's two dicks. We were right from the start. I thought it would be one and a half or half and a half or you know like he has two rocking full dicks dos think about how enormous his one dick would be if one of his penises had eaten the other in vitro dude that's what i would that's what i would ask the doctors to do yeah i would i would ask them to form my two penises into one super penis.

That should work. Because it's all the same erectile tissue. You open them all up and just make them make it incredibly girthy. I thought you'd make it really long. You want it wide. You stack them one on top of the other. So you just staple one to the foreskin of the other. You get this unwieldy

14 inch cock or something. Something like... No, no, no no you open you open each of them like like a like a hot like a hot dog bun yeah because you've got the two uh tissues that expand on either side and then you've got this fairly symmetrical um one that feels like this guy his one-to-one penis to test-testicle ratio is off. Should he have four testicles? He's got enough. Oh, oh! I just saw his butthole, and that is tragic. There's just one, right?

It's just one butthole, but it is taking a beating. Drifter said that he had a prolapsed asshole. Man, you're right i know my double dick facts in this check out i need to see it let me get this yeah let's face that link in here i'll refresh my memory so that we never again forget yeah link link the butthole i'm linking the butthole and you can see it's two penis according to your surgery what you would effectively do though is you would have one dick inside of another oh my god fuck that

oh i think i just found the picture that is wild as all right so yeah all right so is it always like that i don't know how to get you sure hope not picture but i'm just gonna say this that the the man's twitter is the double dick dude and there's a photograph here this is actually the first time i've seen his dick i was trying to avoid actually looking at it but here we are as everyone has come to the realization i will as well but it's two it's two dicks like what's interesting about this photo is it's sort of like down and low looking up at his two cocks and his butthole his butthole i i have the perfect way to describe it do you remember that episode of rick and morty remember the eye holes guy how they would like pull the pull the eyes out and they would like oh i'm touching my

eye holes onto your eye holes like that all that nonsense that's what his butthole looks like it looks like one of those rick and morty eye holes so like oh my god oh you can click on it and zoom in i can see inside of him literally like i can i can see like the eye holes yeah oh god requires full screen oh my god this is like it's just brutal i hope it's not like that all the time. 37-inch monitor. I like how all four of us got how to make one topic four times longer by podcast masters. Everybody discovers the same thing. He's got two penises.

What a time we all did. Is his butt always like that? Or is that like... That's fresh. He's pushed it out or something. I think that's permanent, man. He's pushed it in. It looks like he's been fisted.

What did you find, Taylor? Here's another one. Oh, no. We're going in deep. What are we about to find? Oh, that's not healthy. That looks like one guy, one jar. Is he incontinent?

I mean, it's hard to imagine. It's hard to imagine that wall is keeping anything back. Yeah, I don't think that's a functioning sphincter. There's damage in between the cheeks. Not just the asshole, but in the flappy area in the cheeks above is stretched out and fucked up and oozing liquid from the skin somehow because it's escaping through the prolapse.

Yeah, I don't fucking know. It looks like he's got a skin condition. Yeah, you're right. Some sort of weeping something. He should get that. Well, these are all from 2014. And that's why you should buy Lock and Load. Zach says he can't go to Chipotle. There's a

picture of him sticking all the way up to his first digit on his finger in each of his penis holes. You can keep that one. He says it doesn't hurt at all. In fact, it feels amazing. If that was true, you would link it. Okay, here you go. I'm not looking at that.

You're looking at it. It's for the show which looking at pictures of a prolapse guy there's no way people who are listening man what is this man finger his two penises what a great view oh enough of that listening to this once yeah i don't get sounding i don't get there are things that i don't that aren't like i'm not really into feet, but like I can stretch my mind to imagine someone who is into feet. Yeah. Right. Like, OK. Pretty enough, I guess.

Yeah. Right. Like every so often I see someone whose feet are perfect. Now, it's not my thing, but like I can get how somebody else might be. It would be like if they were like really into women's necks. Yeah. I'm into women's necks like the next. Yeah.

But I'm not like freaking out all the time about women's necks. i don't i don't want to like find your scarves and sniff them right but like i like i can see how like it's where my dick feet uh i look in your jewelry and stuff like getting necklaces and so what was this word you said sounding i think it's one i may not sounding it's when you penetrate your pee hole to varying degrees. Sometimes the goal is to go deep and sometimes the goal is to sort of stretch the pee hole to the point where it can take larger and larger diameter sounding rods or

various objects. It is PKA's most hated fetish, I will say. Second possibly to furries. Furries are cool. hated fetish, I will say. Amongst the hosts? Second, possibly to furries. Furries are cool. I would dress up as a mascot all day before I

shove a fucking pipe cleaner down my dick hole. Or you can do both. Yeah. My only problem with furries is it seems like it's too hot. It would be so uncomfortable. It would smell like shit. The vast majority of furries don't like wear suits all the time that's like a special occasion thing right well they wear during sex and and during sex i'm already too

warm yeah you're like getting they're gonna be they're having like because it's not like i imagine they're going to meetups where they're wearing it all day at like their conventions and then they're fucking just a day of wearing like a mascot costume or something like you're gonna be hot sweaty disgusting so hopefully they have like uh hopefully they have like a walk around yeah then you just like walk around like black mold growing off your fucking wolf fur i'd be a clown so i could do it in the shower i just wish there was they're just you know they're just weird but you know it's it's fine i you know i i i shower i just wish there was they're just you know they're just weird but you know it's it's fine i you know i i i like i know people who are furries there it's it's uh

we won't say his name but that gentleman who's uh uh in the discord yeah like him but i just hate oh what's that thing that those church ladies would say like hey love the sinner hate the sin like that that's how i feel about him being a furry love the sinner hate the vast majority of furries are normal people that don't wear suits like that he's got a fucking wolf head i'm sure he does him when he talks to me they don't have a suit well that's just the person who has a fursona or they're into that in their own time at home what a bullshit furry they just pretend they have a suit i don't respect this level of furry get yourself a fucking um sonic the hedgehog outfit or get out you know what i just thought

the most the most pathetic thing would be though, like if you were a poor furry, like if you couldn't afford like an actual manufactured furry suit, you had to like make your own. There's a lot of that. Remember Spider-Man's first suit and that toad was like Spider-Man? How garbage it was. Yeah, yeah. He's like masking tape and leotards and shit. I think you'd find that there's a lot of that.

I mean, it's a lot of young people, a lot of artists, LGBT stuff. So I don't imagine that. I think the fursuits are the richer furries. I'm going to pick one. You can't even have like regular oral sex as a furry because you'd have to take the head off. Right. I mean, unless it's a well-designed head. Yeah, it couldn't be like a mouthful that slides open.

All the ones I've seen are like mascot-esque. Yeah, the two big noses, right? Where it's almost like they're looking through the mesh in the mouth, like the way people at sports games do. I don't know, though. I've only looked into it when we talk about it on this show briefly. This should be a hangout question. Since Woody is the expert on sounding,

apparently you've seen more of that than anybody else here. I need to ask you. is the expert on sounding apparently you've seen more of that than anybody else here i need to ask you i've seen much the final level of sounding a smaller dick real one going inside of another bigger dick where like two guys like face each other and i'm just doing it with my hands here goes inside the big one and they they fuck each like that. And then you bust directly into the guy's bladder? Actually, yes. Oh no, it would be a busting contest. When we had this exact thing.

It's like when Voldemort and Harry are who's the guy who takes lock and loads? What's so funny is like me and the rest of the degenerates in the discord had this exact conversation like two months ago and i don't remember who found it but we literally found like

the scenario you described where one penis is fucking the other penis so who won nobody wins nobody wins a scenario like that like one penis having sex with another penis seems even gayer than anal it seems gayer than anal right like he right he because anal is something that heteros can do too but like i think straight people could probably do this with some stretching oh wait straight people could do this you're right if you're gonna fuck a woman's urethra i mean with the right amount of stretching and the blue pill, you could do anything. Oh, that can't be good for her. I don't think so. You get a lot of UTIs.

I'm sure in the future, when society collapses, somebody will kidnap all of you, some warlord somewhere, and force you to reenact some of these pornographies. He might. I hope that I'm on Team Furry and not Team Sounding. Creepy fuck. Don't wish that evil on me.

By this vegan-esque rapist. Don't wish that evil on me. Some sort of pre-tipo-apocalyptic rape scenario. Yeah, you live in a cage and they bring you before the warlord and he's like, entertain me with sounding. Oh no. I can do voices, Kyle.

I know. I know Sopranos well enough to tell it like a story. A good one. You're like an old storyteller where they're like, quiet, gather around. Kyle's telling the Sopranos. You've got the alternate ending.

Yeah, sounding is probably my alternate Sopranos ending involves Tony going to Russia. And we get a throwback to the guy, the Russian from the woods. Tony's got a fleet of Russia. What happens? That's where all his money is. What happens, though, in the end of your version? I haven't really thought it out.

It seems like he should die, right? He should die at the end. I don't want Tony to die. Look, I always like the bad guy to win. That's one of the reasons that I don't like Breaking Bad. I wanted Walt to just get all the money, get a hotter wife, get rid of the crippled son, and be like, I'm going to do some shit. I wanted him to get a better wife and a better son.

That's how little I thought of his home life. Wow. a better son that's how little i thought of his home life like wow i was just like maybe like the mexicans will kill the wife and the crippled son and that'll just make walt super scion mode like he'll power up to like eight more fucking levels or whatever yeah i couldn't even imagine having you as a father you just come home and you're like you're so disappointing i hope that mexican cartels murder you son then i can start a new family not filled with pussies yeah i mean you know my tv characters i wanted you know but they were all pussies like like walt jr was a piece of shit skyler was a piece of shit why was walt jr a piece of shit because he immediately turned on walt when he found out like the basic knowledge that Walt was a criminal, essentially.

He didn't have fine print yet, even. And maybe he reacted the same way if he does, but he didn't have enough information to immediately turn on his dad. He's selling meth. Meth fucks people up worse than bullets and guns. I don't care what he's doing. It's his dad. It's literally like selling poison to teenagers. So wait a minute.

Taylor, would you turn your dad in if you found a new selling meth? All right. So we got one no. I also would not turn my dad in if I found out he was selling meth. Woody, if you found out your father was selling methamphetamine and at like a professional Walter White level as we would expect from a gentleman

and a scholar like your father, would you turn him in? Absolutely not. Not even a close call. See, of course. P.K. is united on this. I'm not the only one that would. You don't turn your dad in.

I wouldn't turn you guys in. My dad's fucking poisoning thousands of people. Fuck him. It's not even like, yeah, you're right. You're like, I wouldn't even turn you in. I'm thinking like, who do I know that i would rat on it'd have to be an enemy someone who was a rival of my dad's business

you just like you just like keep it to yourself you go to thanksgiving like hey pops house business like yeah yeah it's going maybe maybe maybe really good occasionally blackmail dad like dad i don't want to say anything my truck is three years old i'm just throwing it out there he'll buy you a challenger or whatever car walt jr getting a challenger and turning his dad in oh yeah oh that's one of the things i always bring up is like walt jr walt got his son that crippled fuck that's the badass car the and then when they're when they're like pants shopping with his mother and he's far too old to be pants shopping with both his mother and his father by the way that's the age where you give them 200 and you point them in the right direction yeah jesus

christ she's she's like patting him down like oh those look real nice on you yeah that's how the kids are wearing them now and it's so fucking cringy as as his because his mom just buy your clothes online now that isn't even a scene not that maybe like right now but you know when the show came out and i can relate to fucking pants shopping as a teenager and shit like that, at least. So, and like Walt is the one who goes and like beats the shit out of the bullies who were like mocking him. You know, Walt does that. Like that should have been like ride or die for life when somebody does that.

So like, no, there's no way I ever tell on my dad for, I mean, my dad would have to be doing some horrendous shit for me to rat him out. Like, like he'd have to be like on the weekly like kidnapping more kids yeah what do you think the consequences of thousands of people doing meth are people lose weight i mean people i personally i'm for personal freedoms um i don't think we should be restricting what people put into their own bodies because the government shouldn't own our bodies and make decisions about our bodies i think we should be restricting what people put into their own bodies because the government shouldn't own our bodies and make decisions about our bodies. I think we should.

So I think we should be able to hear, but there are limits. Like there are some things that are just pure poison for your body and we should be able to poison ourselves too. I don't think suicide should be illegal either. I don't think there's any laws against me drinking battery acid. No, I think there is in some localities.

Yeah. I think I'm pretty sure suicide's illegal in a lot of places. That's such a silly thing to make illegal. Do they actually prosecute you if you fail? Because you didn't commit the crime. This loser here, your honor. What kind of thing?

A lot of suicides don't work and it's a drain on society and they have lifelong medical problems and stuff. Yeah, but nobody's going to go I was going to kill myself, but then I thought about the legal ramifications if I failed. I don't want to do three to five.

Let me just finish my taxes before I go jump off the Empire State Building. Yeah, no, that guy's got more on his mind. No, I just don't think that the government should care if people do meth or anything, really. Would you turn...

Would you turn... So, like, it'd have to be, like, a fucking pedophile thing, right? Yeah, that I would tell them. The pedophile thing is all bets are off. You've got to rat on people. Yeah. Yeah, I can't be having that. Like, I can't be having that.

The victims aren't volunteers in that regard. No. That's like when you're... That's a mice and men scenario, right? Where like, oh, you just realized he's Lenny in this scenario. Oh, shit. Well, what if your dad's not doing it, but he's selling the tapes? What if your dad is a connoisseur of fine illegal tapes, distributing them broadly?

How much... All right, all right, all right. This isn't even a punchline. This isn't a joke. How much money is he making? What is an amount that would make it cool with you? Yeah, and I don't even know... It would have to be like a scary amount.

Yeah, like high five figures, right? Like, here's how I imagine... I might sound crazy, but here's the scenario that I'm imagining. I'm like, Dad, how could you be involved with something so vile? I make $100 million a month. I'd be like, a month, you say? Why is my car nine years old?

You guys are very different than me. Well, if that was my dad, I'd kill him on the spot. I wouldn't even turn him in. Because it would be cash. So you could just murder the pedophile. And then now you have $300 million or however long. I'd burn it. Burn it?

You would burn the cash? Give it to a charity that helps traffic children or something. I'd give a small amount. Give it to a charity. I wouldn't touch one single fucking penny of that money. Yeah, if hell's real, you'd go to hell for keeping that money, probably. The hell's not real, though, so we're all good. That's going to be so shitty if it is.

There's a lot of things I can be patient with, but people that fuck with little kids, there is zero patience, zero sympathy, and zero empathy. That's a hypothetical, goddammit. That's my hypothetical. We'll get the pitchforks ready for our dad. I mean, there's no amount of money. There's nothing you can offer me.

I'm going after him now. Now the meth thing doesn't seem so bad, does it? Yeah, have we loosened your approach on meth at all with this we really ratcheted up and now meth seems like who's getting hurt here other than the entire country by proxy you know yeah it would have to be something like that for me

to rat my dad out and like you said like I don't think I'd rat my neighbor out like if I you said. I don't think I rat my neighbor out. If I look through the fucking blinds. And I saw my neighbor doing some meth kingpin shit. I'd just be like. That never involves me in the future. Close the blind.

If they're cooking meth over there. I'm going to call that in. Because it could blow up. And that impacts me directly. Which makes it serious. They're far enough that it won't impact my house at all. I't think i think i'll be okay i think it'll just be cool story and my bedroom's on the opposite side because because it would it between my two neighbors let's just say the demographic for meth cook is the one on this side and uh i think i'd be

cracked out white trash my neighbor blows up their house in a meth cooking accident maybe i buy that land cheap just expand my empire i knew someone who had to live in a hotel for like a like multiple weeks because a meth lab blew up on their block and it like it doesn't just destroy the house like like the houses next to it were like damaged they they were only like in there for a couple weeks because it was like some debris like fucked up the roof or something like a few houses away but like it's a way it could be a way bigger explosion than you're thinking i don't it would have to be pretty big i'm in the middle of 14 oh for you yeah this is like a normal neighborhood a 500 pound bomb wouldn't affect you from the injury yeah it would it would be hard there's

a lot of empty space. So yeah, no ratting our families out. I think we all agree. It would just have to be something so fucking wild for me to rat my... It literally has to be the pedophile shit. Yeah. Or I don't know, maybe he's a cannibal. It depends who he's cannibalizing, if we're being honest, though, right?

If you find your dad's a cannibal, you're like nine you go nine one wait who do you eat homeless if he says homeless i close the phone well no you still have to call 9-1-1 because he's probably got diseases 9-1-1 i'm here to report a hero he's he eats pedophiles oh god he kills and eats pedophiles. Oh, God. He kills and eats pedophiles. Now that's pretty cool. Drift, are you turning your father for that? That's a pretty cool dad.

If your father eats pedophiles, you're like, you're down. I'd help. Would you help with the eating? No, fuck that. Butchery. Oh, okay. Do you help with the butchery? It seems like you've really got it in for the pedophiles

you might become a vigilante any moment I have reasons for that oh goodness I'm sorry to hear that well in any case steering right back into this dark scary place time and time again oh my god I'm surprised you went to cannibal after that

because like it is repugnant but unless you're like kidnapping children or something or I guess is cannibal he could find a dead guy and eat him it doesn't mean he killed someone right well that's a good point nobody wants like human roadkill

I mean if we don't know the mind of this maniac I like to imagine my father's not a maniac he's one of those like thoughtful cannibals he's a gourmet cannibal yeah like he's just like like a hannibal lecter well sure okay without the murder and no yeah what if you're like a really health conscious uh cannibal i only eat healthy people yeah you only hang out outside crossfit meets that's a different thing the santa clarita diet i think yeah oh yeah yeah i've scrolled past that i've never watched it though i've seen it

something like that is it health conscious cannibals is it good or no not really i haven't watched it i can recommend the movie if you want a movie. It's not about being health conscious. Is it spooky? It's about a killer pair of jeans. Okay. What is it called? It's on Shudder. It's called Slacks.

It's literally about a killer pair of jeans. And I thought it was amazing because it was mostly just about, it just made me feel dirty as a person because it was all about like how stuff is manufactured overseas to no standards. And there's's like dead people get smushed into the cotton and then woven into the fibers and they like take a giant shit on retail and corporate culture it's like watching a giant robocop commercial like with all those old paul verhoeven ads this is the exact kind of stupid horror that i like and i i still have shutter like i don't i should have like stopped paying for shutter november of last year because have shutter. Like I don't, I should have like stopped paying for shutter November of last year because

they, they, you know, they don't put anything out or if they do, it's just like rehosted nonsense. That's already available everywhere else. But this is probably the only time of year. It's good.

Oh, you've got drugs, right? Uh, so do that and watch blood machines. Also very fun. Blood machines. I'll do drugs and watch blood machines.

If it looks good. Let's see. Oh, there's a lady. What is it? Her tits are out? Yeah. It's like a spacey sort of satanic music video that goes on for about an hour. Lots of naked women, people dying, stuff like that.

Okay. Oh, so it's not like a movie. No, it's like an hour long music video but it's fantastic when you're high you'll just lay there and be like i'm in spite i'll give that a go so like the most recent one like that i can think of is uh mandy was trippy stone mandy's great we watched mandy colorado um last week it's a good movie really good nicholas cage there's something about that guy. The way he doesn't care that he's not doing a good job, it endears me to him. But he has done a good job before.

Leaving Las Vegas, he played that tremendously. I think he often does his version of a good job. I think he's trying. It's that what he's trying to do is very different than what you're expecting. I don't think he's just being weird. I think he's got a goal, a point to his acting. I think there's a method to the madness.

And it just comes off as really weird. Because it is. Because he's really weird. I like Mandy a lot. And I'm not exactly sure of the name. It's either Willy's Wonderland or Wally's yeah i like that i think you got really bad ratings and to be fair it's a really bad movie um i hated the teenagers like all those characters were terrible actors

nicholas cage never says a word the entire movie he grunts a little occasionally but i don't know if like a little 90 minute silly movie it was good i enjoyed it occasionally, but I don't know. A little 90-minute silly movie. It was good. I enjoyed it. He was fighting animatronics with his bare hands. Taylor, do you think Nicolas Cage did good in Mandy or did he phone it in in Mandy?

I mean, I think he did a good job. Maybe it's me enjoying the movie, bleeding over into thinking he did a better job, but no. Watching him do Mandy, I never jumped out. That's the one where he's in the bathroom chug into saying, thinking he did a better job, but no, it watching him do Mandy. I never jumped out. That's the one where he's like in the bathroom, like chugging vodka,

screaming. Like I thought he did a pretty good job on that movie. Yeah. Did you not like him in that? No, I thought he did great. That was the only movie where it looked like the camera operator got nervous.

Like you can see them like panning in and Nicholas starts wild and out. And you can see them kind of like shake and like maybe move it back a little bit to be safe from him. And that's what know what he's gonna do well what yeah yeah i've heard this spoken about before um they weren't afraid of him because he's nicholas cage that's a little that's pretty scary but for different reasons but they didn't know what he was going to do so they didn't know how to frame the shot and he's being really dynamic like he's moving around and he's standing up and sitting down and he's being crazy with that bottle and screaming and shit so like they literally don't know how to frame the shot because it's not like storyboarded there was just someone just wrote on

a piece of paper nicholas has a bad time in the bathroom and he just goes in and has a bad time in the bathroom no i dig that movie a lot it It's better with drugs, for sure. Dark room, lots of drugs, and it's a really good fucking movie. I don't like the first half. That part's really kind of hard to swallow. The trippy stuff at the end is way more fun, in my opinion. I like the full trip. I like the

stuff at the beginning. I feel like it's really soothing. Even the very beginning. The whole thing, man. When they're flying over those trees at the very beginning with the helicopter whole thing man when they're flying over those trees at the very beginning with the helicopter shots yeah yeah i'm talking about the horrible when manny's walking down that foggy like path um when she's talking about that we're talking about their favorite planets and they're like getting these psychedelic sort of visuals all that shit's cool i'm in total agreement uh if you like that, I know films from the same director that does similar things.

So, Oh yeah. I think I was looking into like what else he had done and it was, what are some good ones you'd recommend from that guy? Beyond the black rainbow. It is way more artsy than Mandy with way less spoken words. It's going to feel a little bit more like a college art film, but it's probably a much better movie.

And he also did some consulting on a movie called the void which is oh yeah i love the void i like that the first 45 minutes is not so hot but man that end goes so far off the fucking rails it redeems all the rest of it yeah i love anything that's um uh what's the fucking writer the the cthulhu guy uh lovecraft i I love anything with any Lovecraftian elements. I really like The Void. That's fucking cool. I wish they would make... I guess they've already made multiple. Was it Sinister or Insidious?

The one where they're watching those tapes of people die. Whichever one of those two it was. I get them mixed up as well. They made like three of them. But I think you're talking about the one with the bagul i think so the one where like he watches the like the beginning of the movie is like all the people strung up like hanged and then like the guy cuts off the limb on the tree and it like counterweights it and then they all go up like kicking and like dying in slow motion yeah and they see lots of horrific videos that really

spooked me i liked that movie a lot. It's like a rinse and repeat kind of thing with that formula. They could make another one. They did. They made several of them. On top of that, yeah. I haven't seen a good horror movie in a while. We watched a bunch of old shit

when we were in Colorado. A lot of old shit. I watched a bunch of old stuff. Like Friday the 13th and uh halloween's and uh a couple of uh nightmarish ilm strengths that i had never seen before like a bunch of that old stuff and um indie man hellraiser oh and i watched samurai cop for the first time ever oh god fucking great you recommended that yeah i haven't watched it yet big time don't do it sober don't do it sober not an issue but watch watch samurai cop if you're out there listening to this i think i think i actually watched it for free with ads this is a movie late in mind ads because like the in the

like 45 second ad break we like look at each other like what are we watching like what the fuck is this it's cool yeah that's purportedly you know i haven't seen it but i'll watch it it's really bad but this is the the time of year every year that i re-watch the thing for like the millionth time that's got to be like one of my top three favorite movies of any genre the thing it's just so good it's really high up there for me too um you know it's it's a it's a formula formula that's been copied a bunch of times over. They even made an X-Files episode that was like a copy.

The paranoia of being stuck up there and not knowing friend from foe after a certain point and the group is getting smaller and smaller and the whole paranoia thing is really interesting. They're worried about the monster that's outside but maybe the monster within

right it's kind of like those old twilight zone episodes to some extent but it's really good um it's just it's john carpenter's best movie i think because i hate better than big trouble in little china yeah that's a movie he made um it's probably i like it i don't love it it's it would be in my top five from john carpenter but um uh i i like escape from new york i hate escape from la i'm not gonna rank all the movies uh red letter media just did a thing where they ran literally just watched all of that um but now the thing is probably the most universally recognized as his best work it's very as the red letter media guys say it's a perfectly constructed film yeah i like it um kurt russell makes the movie though uh he's my favorite part of it um

it's fucking great it it would make a good video game i think did they ever make a thing video game uh they did it was not very good it came out like very early into playstation 2 when they hadn't figured out like how first person controls should work so navigating your character was kind of like an n64 nightmare on a playstation controller and it had this thing where you could test people to see if they were the thing except it didn't actually work because whoever the thing was was part of the story, so that part stunk. There's a prequel, sorry,

but if you're into the thing, there's a short story. I think it's like a fan fiction, but it's written from the point of view of the thing. Super fun to read. Interesting. Yeah. And it is like, is Skinwalker, is that the right thing? Like a Wendigo, like some spirit that takes over and looks like people.

It's like an alien that if you get just a little bit of it on you or in you, it'll start multiplying, it'll copy your DNA and take all of you over, but it retains all of its old information and knowledge. So you're dead, it's replaced you, and it can instantly split and morph into any of tens of thousands of other aliens that it's eaten over the centuries or aeons or whatever. You didn't see the part at the beginning where like the alien spaceship crafts crashes into Antarctica.

No, no, I was, I wasn't talking about the thing specifically. I was meaning like how those movies, like, like if you read like paranormal forums and stuff, they're always like skinwalkers, like creatures, people, and then they infiltrate groups. And how those movies like, like if you read like paranormal forums and stuff, they're always like, like skinwalkers,

like creatures become people and then they infiltrate groups. And so it's like, I wouldn't call it a trope, but it's like, I can't remember who it is, but there's a famous musician who believes in skinwalkers. And he was telling a story on Howard Stern. I wish I could remember who it was.

Cause it's like a notable musician who you'd be like, Oh yeah, that guy. But he said that he watched one, like mid transformation changing into what i can't remember exactly what it was but like it was something absurd of course you know like from a man into like a wolf or something so a werewolf maybe or or you know into an ostrich whatever the fuck you saw i can't recall exactly what it was but like i feel like

that would drive me fucking crazy i'd lose my mind if i saw something like that drive faster i don't know if this is just you've seen some stuff that i would already think i'd lost my mind like you're seeing dark people and shadow realms and and then demons and i've never seen the realm just the people just he's just been close to the portal you've've seen Dark People. You're from Atlanta. I mean, that's true. But not demons. There's an article here that says Post Malone spends some time at Skinwalker Ranch with the owner.

Is it Post Malone? You know something about Post Malone? There's this YouTube channel. It's a shadow person at the gas station today. Jesus Christ. I love Magic the gathering a lot it's one of my hobbies like i love playing arena and i was trying to find like it is impossible to find like top down good video of people playing magic because you can't read the cards they're playing they don't take the time to put the graphics in and everything and there's

this one it's like called game nights i think is the name of the series but i don't know the name of the channel and they like have edits and every single time they play a card it's like explained and brought up and why they did that they're playing like four player commander and they have guests and i saw one that was like post malone hangs out with the game nights playing magic the gathering and i was like really and like open it up and like he's not like fucking around at all he is very good at magic i was impressed he was like like and they do it interview style so like he's playing and he'll be like i'm playing the bliss enchantress or whatever the fuck and then it would go out like to him like office style and he's like when i played that i knew that josh was gonna play this

he thinks he's so fucking clever, like that kind of stuff. And like, he's genuinely real. I think he won the game. He's really, really good. So that like, is he better than you? They were playing a format that I, it's called commander where you use a hundred card deck for more multiplayer, like four player. I pretty much only do one V one with 60 card decks.

So in that format, yeah, he definitely knows way more than me. But he's super knowledgeable. So that, that like, it was one of those, I don't, I had no opinion on Post Malone other than that his songs are catchy. And then when I saw that, I'm like, this guy, he's cool. You know, this guy's this guy plays magic. This is the coolest celebrity out there. The coolest game for the coolest guys. Yeah.

So Drifter, I know you got to got to get moving. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Anytime. It's always fun to be here here thank you for putting up with my nonsense I felt like I hit you guys with quite a lot of nonsense it was good I enjoyed it I wish you all the best with the medical stuff thank you they're sorted don't have to worry about them

they always come back you've seen the movies things like that we're coming back we all really are yeah they might come back tonight really've seen the movies. I'm not supposed to say things like that. We're coming back. We all really are. Yeah, they might come back tonight, really. Probably while you're sleeping. You know, they don't really scare me so much anymore.

We'll just kill them and eat them. Okay, what with that. Is there anything you want to pick? Any channel? Yeah, I'll do a brief one. If you like these crazy stories about demons and ghosts and weird dreams and whatnot, I have two series on my channel. They're old. If you like these crazy stories about demons and ghosts and weird dreams and whatnot, I have two series on my channel. They're old.

They're like 10 years old where I'm using my real voice instead of this one. So I'll tell stories about dreams and ghosts and all that stuff. And I have a two-part Halloween special coming out probably the day before and the day of Halloween of some of these scary dreams. But I hired artists on Fiverr to animate various parts of them. That's awesome. Nice. Check that out, guys. Check them out. See you guys later. See you later. Thank you for coming. See ya.

Okay, so... He said he uses his real voice, not this one. I'm so confused. Is he British? I'm so confused by the last... How long did we go? Three hours? We're three hours in? Yeah, this episode's been going like an hour because i've been so fascinating fascinated by drifter um wow i did you know he had all those things going on no i didn't know anybody had that much going on like with with seeing demons and

ghouls and them like it just straight up auditory and visual hallucinations he was having constantly as a child. So he has like a severe neurological disorder, huh? Yeah, some sort of sensory. But only one penis. I mean, I'm fine with one.

Would you rather have two? No, it seems like it'd be annoying. Yeah, I think one's... Especially if one's a dribbler. Lock and load might really change that dude's life. You know what the real problem is? They're side by side in that picture.

I want them on top of each other like this. I need them farther apart. You want them over under, Dick. I need them closer together. I see what you've got going on there because she's vertically oriented you want to be well that makes sense one good way to have two dicks

this guy got the other one I mean there's like a hundred different worse ways to have two dicks if you think about it if you stick one of them on his forehead, like a goddamn unicorn, he hates himself. I mean, compared to his asshole,

the dick situation is fine. His ass looks like that area in Siberia where they tested the czar bomb. Absolutely ruined. That looks like the Tunguska region of Siberia. No, that his asshole looks so awful. It does like a crater. It looks like an asteroid fucking struck it.

And how did that happen? Just a lot of huge things going in there. He just put a lot of really big stuff in there. It wasn't just a dude's dick in his butt. No, no, no. Big toys. He's putting massive things in there repeatedly. Bad dragon stuff, probably.

Well, I mean, Drifter said that the guy prolapsed. Like, that was one of his things. Yeah, yeah. But it probably wasn't from anal sex. It was from toys. It was from putting a gigantic thing in his butthole. Yeah, yeah. Like that anal plug you got. Sure. That would do the trick.

That would do the trick. Old trusty Goomba over there. Yeah, he's on the other side of the room now. I went to the eye doctor this week. I was like, you know, I find myself wearing my reading glasses all the time, like more and more and more.

Cause it, I'm on my, I get too much screen time. And, uh, used to be when I'm not doing anything important, like the show, I would just do it without glasses.

My reading comprehension gets worse and worse. I think everyone's an idiot. Like what the fuck? Why they use the wrong word? Oh, wait. I'm. Oh, i can't read yeah yeah and just just finding life reading life to be better with glasses on and i was talking to the eye doctor and i said like you know how do people manage it you know i take my glasses on and off all the time and she's like yeah you should probably get glasses you have on all the time now so there you go welcome to the club yeah i got a new prescription i ordered it online we'll see if

they look stupid or not and uh now i think i'm going to be a i feel like i'm fine driving and such where everything is big and you know whatever but um even then maybe i see things better we'll have to see what's up yeah there'll be some like sharpening right little improvement here or there absolutely maybe it'll be like so much to the point that you won't want to take them off i think if it's that much of an improvement i think that's that could be a thing that it's just like oh yeah this is better this is because when i first got glasses i didn't like them. Everything was sharper and I was like, no, I think I like the world with soft

edges. I think that's just a more pleasant place to live in. But now, I think I'm missing shit sometimes. I think I was wishing I had glasses when I was off-roading last week. You know, you should get contacts. I didn't ask.

So my wife is going this week and I'm going to have her be like, hey, for Woody, contacts and LASIK options. You know, we'll see what's up for you. You probably don't even need LASIK. Like your eyes don't seem like they're that bad. The switch from glasses to contacts is just as eye opening as like going from shitty vision to glasses. Because suddenly it's like periphery. I can turn quickly and there's not a well my vision is very bad so there's like a slight bit of warping like in the

in the very corners of the glass but yeah you should definitely if you're going to be doing outdoorsy stuff contact is the way to go and he gave you if he tested you and like he has your prescription for glasses you could just tell him here's my prescription i don't have this or do you have a stigmatism i don't know okay then if you don't have astigmatism you can just tell them give me the biofinity monthlies that's what i wear the ones you can like sleep in for a month although i guess you're not supposed to because this new doctor i went to the eye doctor actually last week and i was like yeah i have the monthlies the biofinities that you sleep in for a month and she's like oh well you're really not supposed to

sleep in those for longer than a week and i was like well here i and and lying i said well my previous doctor said it was fine but also dr taylor yeah it's a bargain like the the uh the thing about it is like i made it seem like a month is the longest i would go with them in i've gone fuck 70 days before just with contacts in and then when you pull it off your eyes just like like like it does breathe through the contacts so it's not like uh the kind if you try to do that with daily wear i feel like i've seen you wear glasses on the show every so often i do yeah i wore the glasses for a cup for like a couple months in a row until last week uh because i was out of contacts and putting off going to the um

the eye doctor and i was driving at night like maybe two weekends ago and i was like this is this is absurd like all of the lights are bleeding together this this just sucks i'm going and so i went and my eyes like they say once you get to 30 like around about 30 they start to like plateau a bit and not get as bad and so i only got a little bit worse in both my eyes which is pretty nice i got two new pairs i got two new pairs of glasses and one of them was like 350 bucks or something. And for a lot of people, it's like, oh, 350 bucks. All right. You need to pay the $20 lens, lensing fee or whatever to put them in. For me, it's like, okay, well, 350.

Well, we have the lensing fee. Now your, your friend, your glass is going to be very thick. And so that area that overhangs the frame is going to look cloudy. Would you like us to apply a sheen there so that it doesn't look cloudy from the side and it looks clear? I'm like, give it to me. Yeah. And then she's like, OK. And obviously, like you have the special left lens because of because of astigmatism. And do you want the thinning of the lenses so you don't have really thick? I'm like, get him as thin as you can, bitch. And then by the end, she's like, all right, that's this pair of glasses for ninety five.

And it's just like, God damn it. Like now I'm spending right that's this pair of glasses 4.95 and it's just like god damn it like now i'm spending half a grand on glasses because glasses were grand oh shit yeah i think i got a little ripped off but they're it's just they're just really nice i have double vision so they're like prisms and then i want them really light they are really nice and uh you know i need the anti-reflective shit because i do this job you don't want to be looking at two fucking ring lights on either lens all show long and uh i just get like every option except um when they put a tint to it or like they're like photochromatic where they change that's the worst look it looks like such an idiot

so i have like everything but that. You have to like walk in from outside and then just stare into a corner for five minutes so you don't look like a goober to everyone walking around. My next ones I got online. They're Ray-Ban frames and I just checked all the boxes and I had my prescription so it wasn't hard to enter the data. We'll see if they're any good i feel like is there anything you're more particular about than the way glasses look on you like i'll buy a random t-shirt pants shoes online i don't give a fuck my shoes come in they're a little too big we're gonna wear shoes a

little too big for the next year aren't we when i like uh when i was there with my wife we were looking at glasses before my appointment i'm like going around putting stuff on and like i first of all when i shop for glasses i need to immediately like only 10 of the glasses in the store are going to fit me because they need to be sized for a wide head otherwise they're going to like squeeze so i need the big glasses and i kept putting these ones on with like big lenses because i told you guys like i want a pair of glasses with like big ass lenses that i can see more periphery and she's like that just looks bad like don't don't get those and so i settled on getting one with the big lenses and one like beater pair that i can wear i won't mind as much

if i i guess i'll still mind because it was like 300 bucks but um yeah it should be showing up in the next week or so i'm excited although like when glasses show up it's like oh nice well i have contacts in so i don't want you like i'm using the far superior option right now and like what do you or i guess you don't have contacts what if you have like bad vision and people with worse vision than me can confirm this. Like you, you switch after a long time from glasses to contacts like the whole world. It feels like you opened up your like like field of vision in a video game and like your hand looks bigger. Everything like feels like it's a different distance. Everything's bigger and weird and you get a headache for a little bit.

At least I do. But once you're great, are magnifying their reading glasses, which is why everything's blurry when I walk around. And when I go to the bathroom, everything's like 15, 20% bigger. I'm like,

who's hanging dog? I'm a hanging dog. And look at the size of that shit. I took. Big man. Big man. I can't do this. A little gruesome there.

I'm going to go pee real quick and then I want to talk about the Dave Chappelle special. We all watched it. Yeah, I thought it was really good. I thought... Well, I guess we'll wait for Taylor to come back. You won't be long.

I'll share my thoughts then. We watched Snatch for I don't think anybody in the room had seen Snatch before. I was going through movies for the group to watch and I was like have you guys seen Snatch? And nobody had seen it and I was like through movies for the group to watch, and I was like, have you guys seen Snatch? And nobody had seen it.

And I was like, ooh, nice. This is perfect. And everybody loved it. Everybody loved it. It's a fucking great-ass movie. It was cool to see them react to Brad Pitt just knocking everybody the fuck out all the time. Is it okay that he's playing the toughest guy in the UK? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. He looks like Conor McGcgregor and i feel like conor mcgregor like built his persona off of like that character dude let's talk about conor for a second you know he broke a dj's nose now are you familiar with his latest assault against a civilian he's his latest win against a civilian okay touche touche i donche. I don't like it when he beats up civilians. I've never liked it. If I get into a fight with an eighth grader, he should be okay at the end.

Whatever happens in that fight is what I choose to have. That's not fair. He's underage. Another grown man, a legal combatant. If I get into a fight with Connor, whatever happens is what Connor chooses to happen. I could have a broken jaw, a broken nose, hurt feelings. He can choose how this ends.

And he picked broken nose for a DJ. What did he not play the song he wanted? What happened there? What did the DJ do that got Connor? You know Connor's an alcoholic at this point. Just like going to bars, drinking too much, and beating people up. And punching DJs.

No, that's great. I didn't know he punched DJ, but I salute him. I hope that he continues to pile these wins up, honestly. When's the last time Dustin Poirier beat up a civilian? I think if you fast forward and watch Connor McGregor's 30 for 30, that is going to be amazing. Oh, yeah. What happens to Conor? Conor is in a downward spiral. He can't

win a fight anymore. Well, okay, that's not true. He's kicking ass all over the world. He just can't beat professional fighters anymore. He's on a global tour of ass whippings right now. Old men in bars. Old men in bars. Young men in bars.

Women. Women in bars. For Korean zombies, mouse friend or whatever that guy was. Oh, wait. I'm mixing up. I don't take it. My mistake. Anyway, I want to know what happens to Connor.

He's on a downward spiral. He's out of control. He has so much money he won't run out which is usually where downward spirals end but it's not going to happen to him i don't see him losing 250 million dollars or whatever it is he has it's out i think every year out of control connor is wealthier than the year before it's He's doing great financially. In every other regard, he's just crashing and burning. Where does this go? Does he die?

I think he dies. I think it was hardcore. Here's my guess on how Conor McGregor dies. He is in a very fast car and he crashes it and he's probably on drugs and alcohol. That's not a bad guess. That's a strong one.

Boating accident. I like boating accident. I like boating accident. With, of course, drugs and alcohol in the system. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. He's out of control. He's interesting to watch. yeah maybe maybe he is he's out of control he's interesting to watch

I don't want him in my life but I like him on my TV okay Dave Chappelle yes we all watched it yeah we did the whole world said it wasn't that funny and I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was funny.

I was touched by the story at the end. Oh, did it? Yeah. The tomato meter. The critics hated it, but the audience score is 95. Yeah, I watched it in Colorado the other day. We watched it as a group. Again, really bugging high. I liked it a lot. I did not like that whole story at the end. I liked it. Carry on. Well, you know what?

I just realized the reason I didn't like it is because I was getting invested in it because this is a really sweet story. And then Fish gets on his phone next to me, finds out what the end of the story is, and then yells it into my ear. Why would he do that? What an asshole. Wow. And I'm trying not to spoil it intentionally for people who I hope will watch Dave Chappelle's special. If you haven't yet, it's on Netflix, obviously.

But it was one of these things where, like, imagine that we were watching Star Wars, and he just goes goes that's his dad it was he kind of did that like three minutes before uh the actual scene um so maybe that killed it for me but that is a good analogy i like the the uh the special in general i thought it was funny i thought that he that he's very good at defending himself and making his points well. The whole thing about, oh, I forgot because I'm high.

But it was something about how like it was less of a news story. How you could kill a black man and still have a career, but you can't make fun of a gay person and still have one. That's what it was, yeah. Yeah, he had a lot of good still have one. That was, that's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. He had a lot of good jokes in there. I enjoyed it.

The, the story was good. It just like, as far as the pacing, like, like the first, like half of it, when it was more like traditional,

like jokes and everything, like at least half a dozen times, I laughed out loud. Like the, the misdirection, I won't say it or anything, but the, the space Jews bit in the beginning, that misdirection i won't say it or anything but the space jews

bit in the beginning that misdirection that was hilarious like it was really really funny it and the story at the end was good too it's just it almost felt like disjointed because it was like high tempo like joke joke joke joke and then it like became just a like story telling it which was a good story it was interesting it kept my attention and i the whole time like i was watching it like he would say a controversial joke i'm like yeah that's a controversial in 2021 saying that but i kept waiting for like where's the big boom gonna be where's the big boom that everybody's so furious about and i got to the end of it and it's like oh people are just being fucking ridiculous about this like being like

hyper offended at him like i i expected something like huge that like he would say would be totally you know in these people's minds out of line but like no it seemed like a good stand-up special he said he's taking a huge break after this uh and i something i've always liked about him is like he just he does whatever he wants he'll. He'll leave money on the table. Joe Rogan does that too. Yeah. And so that endears him to me. So overall, it was a good special.

I liked this special more than the previous two ones on Netflix. Those didn't make me laugh as much as this one. So I would agree with the audience score. Was he talking about a woman when he was talking about someone having a Joe Rogan neck? Yeah, which is very funny. Yeah, I want to say, I don't know. I think he was talking about a trans woman having a Joe Rogan neck. And that's such like a 2021 reference, Joe Rogan's neck.

I guess it could be the last five years. No, I dug it. I liked it. I agree with you. I think it was the better of the the last three specials uh and you know there were several points where he was like might be a while before y'all see me again about chapelle and said that he was kind of laying low waiting for the heat to pass and it's which implied to me that it bothered him it was funny funny. He said in the show a couple of times,

like, you know, I hear this stuff and it gets to me. I was like, oh, that's interesting. Because you think that when the paycheck's big enough that they become invulnerable to negative feedback. That's not how it works. Yeah, I think he needs more money. You know, I think that he just wants people to like what he does. I bet Adam Sandler feels that way.

I bet that's why every two or three years he makes another good fucking movie. Come on, guys. I did another one. I did another one. What was that Gems movie he made? Forgotten Gems? Uncut Gems.

Did you see Uncut Gems? I did. Was it good? So good. It's so good because Adam Sandler's a good fucking actor. The Uncut Gems? I did. Was it good? So good. It's so good. Because Adam Sandler's a good fucking actor. Yeah. But the Uncut Gems will kind of go under the radar. I think that was one of the ones that a lot of people did notice, though. And then he'll be like, all right, let me make five movies to make sure David Spade and Rob Schneider have enough money to make it through the Iron Man.

I feel like that's what it is, really. Like Rob Schneider. Hey, I'm out of money. I feel like that's what it is really like Rob Schneider or not a money. I think he's just the best friend ever and he's like Rob Schneider and David Spader like hey maybe we should make another one of those great

Netflix movies. I'm saying oh did they want you to make one? Nah they probably want you to make one though right David Spade's more successful than you're giving him credit for I want to say he's been on TV for 20 years in a row something yeah

consecutively yeah honestly like Rob Schneider and David Spade maybe not the best examples because they both had very successful careers yeah but Adam can like make and we watched one of his movies um when we were out there and it was actually good i'm embarrassed to say they were like no we got to watch it we got to watch it i was like i really don't come on it's good i promise and i was like

all right fine it's not going to be good and it was good like it was it was a new movie with adam sandler and david spade where they like steal these guys identities that were they've got these dead bodies at the morgue and and uh and uh adam sandler's character like works at a morgue as a janitor or some shit and basically he steals two dead corpses identities because he thinks their lives will be better than him and david spade's lives and he wants to like basically steal dead people's identities which when you think about it kind of is a victimless crime you know okay like steal a dead person's identity and but they accidentally steal the identities of these guys who are like tied up and like some again i was high so i don't remember the specifics but like some mob shit or something like that like like people are getting killed left and

right and it ended up being pretty funny. It was pretty good. I mean, on the Uncut Gems thing, like him playing in a serious movie. Or Punch Drunk Love. I haven't seen Punch Drunk Love, but I really liked Uncut Gems. The whole entire movie is like high tension.

Oh, I'll watch that. He's one of my favorites. So the premise of Punch Drunk Love is basically attention oh i'll watch that he's one of my favorites so the premise of punch drunk love is um basically adam sandler's character is like what if bobby boucher existed in a more grounded universe that's less silly because you know the bobby the the water boy universe is inherently silly in lots of ways but like what if that type of character existed in a much more grounded reality like maybe one degree off of regular from ours and what you have is a mentally ill 35 year old man played by adam sandler who like breaks into

like extreme acts of awkward violence and he's he clearly has some sort of social disorder of some kind. Like his sister is just like, why can't you just be normal? Why, what is this? What is this? Why have you shattered the sliding glass window at our lovely house party? Why have you ruined everyone's evening again?

And like, and he's wearing this weird blue suit. And as you watch it like especially if you've seen it multiple times you're like how many days have passed because he's still wearing that suit like because it's such an odd suit it's a very bright blue that people keep commenting on it like hey that's a sharp suit thank you thank you i just got it and like it just keeps happening day after day because he's wearing the same goddamn suit. And to sort of summarize the rest of the 90 minutes, falls in love with a woman.

He takes advantage of this because he is clearly autistic or something. He takes advantage of this promotion that an airline has with pudding lids where like every pudding lid is like five air miles but yeah so they stack in a way that they shouldn't because of some oversight and so he can like have infinite flying miles basically he can print money yeah and uh all of a sudden inexplicably things get very very violent and you're like oh yeah this is bobby boucher of course he'll just go crazy and go incredibly violent but it's grounded violence so it's really dark so all of a sudden people are getting smashed in the streets with crowbars so it's not that it's a dark comedy maybe it's a dark comedy yeah maybe maybe i dig it a lot

punch trunk love is really good it's i'm not going to, maybe, maybe I dig it a lot. Punch drunk loves really good. It's a, I'm not going to spoil the ending or really any of it. Philip Seymour Hoffman has a cool role and, uh, um, he has a really intense scene with Adam Sandler. Uh,

I think it's a good movie. It's worth watching. Sam is a really good actor, but he's just been the fucking, the way he makes a hundred million dollars is by being a clown. Yeah. And I mean, why be a good actor that often, if you can make a hundred million dollars is by being a clown yeah and i mean why be a good actor that often if you can make a hundred million dollars duncing around yeah yeah i bet i don't

know what the numbers on like movies like punch drunk love are and uh and uncut gems but i bet they pale in comparison to like whatever that netflix deal he did he did some sort of like three four five picture deal where he'd make like, you know, that many movies for Netflix and they'd be Netflix exclusives. And it was hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah. Well, he's incredibly popular. I Googled David Spade and Rob Snyder's net worth 60 and 12 million. Now, those things are never accurate, but assume they're ballparking.

They're OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not hurting. But I bet they're happy when Adam's like, hey, y'all want some more?

Yeah. Hey, Spade, you want some more? I don't know, Adam. I think I've had enough. You want a little more, don't you? I wonder what Adam Sandler's worth. I'm going to guess. Maybe even close to Jerry Seinfeld money.

$650 million. You went high. I was going to guess maybe even close to Jerry Seinfeld. $650 million. You went high. I was going to guess $100 million, but $420 million according to this thing. It's a huge amount of money. You're solid for the rest of your life. You can't possibly spend that much.

Your kids will be wealthy. You can divide that in four. He's not done. He's a young man. He's like 50. Your kids will be wealthy. You can divide that in four and they're all And he's not done. He's a young man. He's like 50. Is he? I thought he was older than that. 47? Something like that? Yeah, he's 55.

So he's still got a lot of years left in him to rake in some dough. He's going to play more 8th graders who are unusually large. You know, he could do the remake of Big. I'd be okay with that. I want to see him be a small boy. What I really want to see is him do some movies like Nick Cage is doing.

These tiny independent films that are really violent. I think that's how I like him. I'd like to see more of that. Or Nick Cage comes from a super wealthy family. Coppola, right? Yeah, he's one of the Coppolas. I don't know if it's a super wealthy family, obviously super influential in Hollywood.

Yeah, connected family. He was an Oscar, right? Yeah. For what? It's not leaving Las Vegas, is it? We've looked this up before and I've forgotten since. It's... Wanted for...

What role? Leaving Las Vegas, yeah. Okay. The movie's good, but it's so depressing. Was it a best supporting actor or was it an actor in a leading role? Oh, wait, it's an academy award yeah yeah that's the right one that's the oscar oh that's an oscar i don't know it doesn't say in this little actor good god dude do you know do you have the year 90s uh i have to keep reopening

close tab 95 i want to see who he's up against. I think that's relevant. You want to what? Hank's won in 1995. Oh, maybe the movie was 95 and then he got it in 96. I don't know. Hank was caged in 1996.

Okay. He probably... Do you guys like that movie? I don't remember it. i don't remember it either is that the one where he and his wife run through the grocery store with a chit with a kid no it's like where he's depressed and failing at his like job everything's going to shit he's an alcoholic and he decides he's gonna stop trying to get more work he's going to take all the money and everything he has and move to las vegas and drink himself to death it's like a terrible movie

it's okay okay i got it and it makes more sense now like why nicholas cage won he was up against richard dreyfus and mr holland's opus anthony hopkins for nixon sean penn for something called dead man walking and mossimo troisi from something called the postman so it was just a year where it wasn't much i yeah yeah but he still won it yeah he still got one so good for him i do you think actors care that much about that shit yeah i bet some of them do i think it's a it's a big pay bump as well at kevin spacey uh won the supporting actor uh that year for usual suspects another great movie i need to re-watch great actor yeah i think they care a lot great man great man's a great man. I dare you to point to half a dozen reasons he's not at all.

Best damn Boy Scout leader this side of the Mississippi. Who's the actor that Don Cheadle replaced in Iron Man? What's that? Who's the actor Don Cheadle replaced in Iron Man? Oh, fucking light-skinned black man from that Hustle and Flow movie. Not Cuba Gooding Jr. No, no, no. Who was the black guy?

Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard. Yep. All right, all right. I learned why Terrence Howard got replaced by Don Cheadle. I did not know the backstory. Terrence Howard was well paid. He made like $3 million in that first movie. I did not know the backstory. Terrence Howard was well paid.

He made like $3 million in that first movie. He was paid much more than Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, he would have been a bigger star. He was a bigger star and he also wasn't a big risk. Robert Downey Jr., they weren't sure they wanted to hire him at all because he had had all those substance abuse issues and it was a real risk. So they got got junior at a discount rdj maybe whatever we call them anyway terrence howard was supposed to have a bigger part but they left a ton of terrence howard footage on the cutting room floor they didn't like what he

did so then iron man 2 comes around and he's expecting a pay bump because i think he won an oscar if not he won something or he got oscar nominated or something like that hustle and flow if it was the year around hustle and flow like that did really well like critically so he any actor in his position position would expect to pay bump would expect a higher pay raise yeah because his other movies did great and he's a bigger star and it's the second one it's an iron man did well and he's an iron man he's a key character so he was expecting a pay raise they gave him a pay cut they said we really didn't like what you did last time you're gonna have a smaller role and you're gonna earn less money than you did previously and robert downey jr on the other hand got a big pay raise oh yeah

second one and uh that's where the money went and he's like i'm not into it no i'm not gonna take a pay cut so they got don cheadle and that's what happened there i never knew a horrible error i knew it was something i knew it was some sort of pre it was described the way i saw it described was like some sort of prima donna stuff where uh he wanted like special treatment but sounds like maybe he did like have a point with his negotiation tactics there and obviously he didn't know that the marvel thing was about to be like a 27 film epic that was, that was going to require his character for like eight or nine, 10 movies, something like that.

We're going to make a million every movie. It's, it's, it's like millions probably. Yeah. And by the end, like, like me,

I, I'm almost positive that war machine is about to get their own either movie or TV show. I'm almost positive that against it. I'm almost positive. that's about to be one of those is war machine the character he was yeah yeah yeah it's like dude just fucking but but you can't know and there's no way like come on man like how are you gonna cut my pay when like the movie made millions like the movie did great his other movie did great he was

nominated or won some award. Those are things that increase your pay. Oh, yeah. And so he had every expectation to be paid more. But I can see their side, too, where they're like, we actually don't like your work and value you very much. It reminds me of, I know Woody's not a big family guy watcher, but there's a later season of Family Guy where they do like flashbacks, like time travel, like seeing the early, like poorly animated ones. And Meg's voice in the first season is different than Mila Kunis. And they're like listening to Meg talk in the first season.

Stewie's like, why is Meg's voice so different than now? And and Peter's like, I don't know. Seems like she's about to miss out on a huge opportunity some young actress is about to mess up a huge career opportunity incredible opportunity that's so true though it is so true family has been going for like fucking how many seasons 20 but like getting being one of those voices are even better if you can be like three of those voices on like one of those animated shows that does 20 fucking seasons or whatever it's such a good gig do you earn that much and why is it a good gig they make a lot they need you like like the guy who does like the the simpsons

actors um voice actors i'm sure their pay isuated. I highly doubt that right now they're at their height. But I think at one point they were making enormous amounts of money. Oh, yeah. It's absurd how much they made. And they can't be replaced. The ones who do like, what is it, Dan Castellaneta or whatever his name is? Dan Castellaneta, yeah. Yeah, I think he does like a dozen voices maybe.

Like what are all his voices? I know that one woman just basically does Bart. Oh, Bia Kunis gets $2 million a year for Family Guy. Yeah. She's worth $75 million. Good God. I didn't know.

She's married to Ashton Kutcher. She gets a quarter million an episode roughly. I didn't know. She's married to Ashton Kutcher. She gets a quarter million an episode, roughly. That's a lot of cookies. She's made 15 million from Family Guy in total. That's awesome. That's pretty good. Dan Castellaneta from The Simpsons,

he's got to be worth almost 100 million or something insane just for being Homer and a bunch of other characters. Kyle's right. It's the ultimate job security where it's like, alright, this guy Homer, we're going to fire the guy who does Homer. Oh, we can't fire the guy who does Homer, Mr. Burns,

Apu, Smithers, the sea captain, like all of these different characters. Yeah, I mean, it's one, like, if you were just a sea captain, for example, you'd be like, um, we'll find a sea captain. You know what? Yar, matey. Have a nice day. It's not too far.

You wouldn't give a fuck. But when the guy's like, yeah. Let's look at today's screenplay. Let's see. Yeah, I'm eight characters today. It's a problem. Oh, you know why it's only me here at the table read? Because this is 10 pages of me talking to myself.

Or if you're just that woman who does Bart Simpson, it's like, that needs to sound like the same. That needs to sound like Bart. Like if that sounds different, I'm going to notice. I think the Bart lady does multiple. I think it's Lisa who only does one. Is it that hard to switch voice actors? Because I would say the same thing about the people drawing, right?

The artist. You're like, oh, it's got to look like this. Yeah, but isn't there a whole host of people who can do it? You know what my guess is? I think that with a show like this, they're all kind of part of a family. And they all kind of want to make money together. And it's kind of become that at this point like like 25 years in like the creators aren't thinking of ways to like

save some money by not paying dan castellan tantana or whatever the fuck his name is they're like hey can we get can we get dan some more money this year like maybe some more homer episodes yeah he doesn't even need more homer episodes oh this one's crusty centered well that's me too dude that's yeah you mentioned that they're all a family this anti-work thing that i see it on reddit i get exposed to it and sometimes facebook oh we've looked at it before it's interesting to me it's like a movement especially amongst young people to compartmentalize work and not have it take over their lives and i'm really torn on it because it to do the bare minimum right okay then you see some of what i'm seeing too which like on one hand look if your

employer is taking advantage of you if you're a waiter or a waitress and they're calling on you to fill in for someone else and they seem to give you a hard time for it and not the guy you had to fill in for, or if they use family or pizza to fuck you over as like, hey, tell you what, Kyle, we need you to work all weekend, but take Monday off. Yeah, you're're gonna get a pizza party yeah it's like you want me to work on demand for saturday and sunday and then i can have monday off and we're gonna call that square yeah how about you suck a dick you know yeah i get what i've seen go ahead what i've seen is they don't really draw any difference between working hard to get ahead which i think is like something that we all grew up with like hearing a lot and sort of those scenarios like you see in like maybe asian business culture where people are literally being worked to death

like like everything is like everything is sort of like painted with the same brush and i see it on like a boring, what is it? A boring dystopia or something like that on that subreddit. And sometimes I agree with it. It's like someone like having a hard time just trying to follow the rules. And then sometimes it's like, my boss expected me to come in on Saturday to do clerical like corrections. And can you believe it? And it's like, well well what'd you do yeah

what'd you do did you decide you didn't want to like have a job this this week like i don't know they just they just it's like you said they don't make any the distinguishment between distinguishment of word they don't distinguish at all between like working to get ahead and showing a little ambition and your work just like fucking you over like i'm all for standing up to bad bosses i'm all for this idea of like being able to get yourself in the perfect job for you i love that when the gig economy first came around i falsely thought that it would lower. There's this thing called like an economist would call workplace friction.

And this friction is this idea like, why aren't you in the perfect job for you? Oh, it's because it's kind of hard to leave my job to find a new job, etc. And if somehow it becomes really easy to do that, to find the perfect job, because you don't need to move anymore. Now we can work online and you can just go on, you fill out a form and get a better job. And it's an easy switch. There's less workplace friction and you're more likely to be in the best place for you. That sounds great. And that's not what the gig economy kind of did. It just people over deliver food, but that's what I thought would happen. That was my dream of how it would play out. Anyway, I'm for people getting the best job i'm for people not getting screwed over by bad bosses

i like that but man sometimes reddit is like oh you know they wanted me to finish my task i told them no it's like well i mean he he is paying you i yeah they're so anti-work carry on there does seem to be like a chasm here a difference between some of the i'm looking at i just looked at top this month on anti-work reddit and like some of them are like straight up like someone being like you the boss being like you got to come into work tomorrow. And they're like, it's my day off. He's like, you got to be a team player. And the person's like, my dad died yesterday. My grandpa, my uncle died a few days ago. Don't be a victim.

And he's like, is that a real one? It is, but it's like, it's so perfect. And in text, you can obviously fake text conversations, but like that's a league away from what Woody's referring to, which is like, hey, you got to wipe down the counters before we leave, before we close up Cold Stone Creamery for the evening. Go fuck yourself. I'm not closing the ice cream hatch. Yes, my ass, you wage slave.

I'm going home. Yeah. I'm not locking the door on my way out either. You're going to steal all your cream, bitch. Yeah, I don't know. I see it a lot, and I'm kind of 50-50 on some of it because sometimes it's like what I'll see are want ads and the things that are required for a job.

And it's just like, of course, the thing you see all the time, which is like tons of experience that's in some cases impossible like they'll invent a new field of expertise uh-huh and then be hiring for someone who is an expert in that career of expertise that was just invented but require like six years of expertise at the brand new field google will make a new api application programming interface and they'll be like we want you to have five years with it this thing is 18 months old or maybe a piece of equipment even like like you know yeah same same thing like like they don't make any fucking sense but i don't know some of it you know do you have a master's we're willing to pay you 14 and 25 cents oh you can fuck off with that too i get get it. I'm as anti-work as

anyone, but I'm more like I don't know. You should be rewarded. I just want you in the right spot and the right job. Not so much flipping the bird and not getting ahead. That seems like what anti-work encourages.

Just doing the minimum. Some sort of fight club type anarchy where we wear leather clothes that last a lifetime or whatever. If you follow the anti-work subreddits mentality, I think you'll always just bounce from one terrible job to the next. It's not really about setting yourself up with skills where multiple employers are wishing they had the opportunity to pay you six digits. That's where you want to be. To the point where the rules are better

and where no one is allowed to work extra hard. They want to put a cap on productivity. That's what it's about. Because they're allowed to bow out of extra work. They just don't want you to be able to do the extra work, right? That's what it comes down to. I'm processing this. Yeah, but the world's not going to change.

Of course not. That's, uh, sometimes I see young people, you know, like, oh, I'll be a teacher. Well, you know, teachers don't earn much. Well, I'm going to change that about teaching. Are you, sweetie? Are you?

You raise the pay anymore. You won't be qualified to teach, bitch. You're right on the cusp right as we speak, if I'm being honest. you're right on the cusp right as we speak if i'm being honest so uh i went into a walmart for the first time in literally months today because you know they're dirty uh but i needed a blowtorch to do delta hate and um um okay yeah he's taking delta eight dabs now. He's graduated.

What of it? And so I need a blow torch. I didn't possess one. I don't think shit. I may have only already on one. Any case, I had to go buy a blow torch. And while I was in Walmart,

I noticed that all the, the weights are back in stock. So I, it is, is the whole like covid thing with the supply lines is that slowly starting to end now because i was i was shocked like because i remember at the beginning of covid wanting some dumbbells and it was impossible and like literally literally today or yesterday whenever it was uh they had a bunch of them they were like all stocked up with dumbbells and they were cheap i have noticed that gym stuff is doing a little better but i think that is an indicator that

either home gyms have been built out or regular gyms are reopening i don't think it means the supply chain is functioning well because if that was the case i'd have a new visor for my helmet like i am fucked on a million items I wish I had. I recently bought warmer weather camping gear. And my whole life, the balance has been what you're willing to pay versus what you want. Now there's a third factor, what you can get. And that seemed to exist in the camping world in a big way. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

I would think camping would have taken off during the covet stuff that seems like a perfect covet activity right getting out on your own in the wilderness i think it was it did take off and i would say in general outdoor shit took off yeah you lock people up inside for 18 months or something and they just came out like a trebuchet camping is a pretty expensive hobby to get into or is it not not really at first it is but it like i feel like a ton of shit that much so if you go high end a sleeping bag pad and backpack is 800 bucks or something like that yeah but then you're good for like fucking sub zero weather. And a long time.

Like these things last, I was going to say decade. That's a stretch. If you use it much, you probably want to replace it in five or six years. But compared to staying in a place like, I guess I didn't know how eight days and it paid off. My tent,

I think was three 50 or four 50 and it's a good one. Oh, okay. Well, nevermind. I, for some reason i had it i've never looked into camping stuff because i've never gone camping very much but i had it in my head that uh that tents were super expensive somebody asked me a while back like how much money would it take to get you to go on another survival trip oh i struggled with that question i i was

just like i i i don't know the answer i don't know the answer. I don't know the answer. One of the challenges for me is it's not just how much money I need. It's how much money I'm willing to deny everybody else. Right? Like if it was like, Hey, you all get six grand for it, but I'm going to be an asshole who makes it not happen. You know,

maybe, maybe you guys want six grand. So, okay, well there it is. I'll do it. Exactly. Right. Now I'm six grand. Okay, well, there it is. I'll do it. Now I'm sitting here and I'm like, Taylor wants the 6,000.

He doesn't want 6,000. Woody jumped in before I could even read me. He was like, okay, Taylor, I'm in. And now I'm left over here. I didn't want to go either. Woody's too altruistic. He cut you off at the pass. If we had just spoken private,

we'd have been like, how about I get him $2,000? We forget about this whole thing, right? Right? $2,000. We're going to be out there a week. And I'm like, I don't know, guys.

I really wanted to go camping. I really wanted to go with you. We do it in Woody's front yard. We're filming our testimonial or whatever, and your house is in the background. It's well lit. Jackie's walking out. We're hanging out in the pool.

We're affording the river. Great chlorine lake. I have to kyle's hand again before the pool that was the worst i've crossed a lot of rivers since then i was swimming two camping trips ago you're a natural i actually i struggled i know you were like aquaman coming across there i was shocked you're very sweet you moved like a like some sort of fish man hybrid i had on a heavy backpack and i think bad shoes or something and the rocks were like slippery baby heads it was like a shark had mated with a panther and they were slinking across those slippery rocks. It was very embarrassing. It was the best thing I'd ever seen.

Oh, that was so good. I have an idea in my head of how fun camping would be, but you guys make it just sound grueling. Let me tell you what's fun about camping. Sitting around a fire in chairs, maybe with a hot dog or a marshmallow or something like that, and a cooler. Let me tell you where you can accomplish this. In your backyard.

That's true. It's closer. It's right there. We just did this in Colorado. I'm kind of kicking myself now because we had a nice fire pit. We had chairs all around it. We had one of those propane heaters that keeps you warm. And it was chilly at night, so it was kind of perfect.

And we didn't get marshmallows. I don't know how that didn't happen. That propane heater, when you need it, it's really nice. Yeah, I like them. When it's too cold without a heater heater but you have a heater or fire it's so not it is the biggest morale i don't i'm campfire is my scene there isn't a place i'd rather be in the world typically than than surrounding a campfire yeah i agree with 100 i like the campfire a lot um i just don't like i don't need to be in the woods i think for a lot

of people camping is is this kind of cool thing because they didn't grow up like i don't need to be in the woods. I think for a lot of people, camping is this kind of cool thing because they didn't grow up like, I don't know. I lived right next to the woods. I was always in the woods. So it's not like a new interesting thing to me. It's just like that place where the ticks are. Yeah. When I get out there, I'm just like, all right, we're here where the ticks are.

That is a terrible part. I'm going to stay here, right? Ticks are scary. are scary good at making campfires i've been doing it since i was 10 i guess and uh there's a bunch of different little things like your patterns that you see that'll make it work and whenever someone helps me who's not good at making campfires i struggle to contain my rage like it's just like you you're gonna come along and fuck up my fire under the guise of helping like oh goodness i hope i didn't make a campfire fool of myself

what i bet happened was you made this speech before we got there and so when it became campfire time i was just like, hands off. Woody's arranging the firewood like origami over here. No, there's a couple. You can put it. You can see where the air is going to come in. You make chimneys and you get these raging little fire things. It's pretty simple. I've seen that one where they had the dugout thing in the ground so that oxygen is coming down and up into the back.

And it sort of almost makes like a blowtorch effect. like and they're always like heating up like cans of food and stuff like that but that seems dreadful i want a big like silly fire once it gets a nice bed of coals you almost can't fuck it up it's the beginning it's a little more sensitive yeah it makes sense but uh but yeah But yeah, every so often I'll be by the campfire and someone helps. Oh, thanks. I'll fix it. I enjoyed the campfire and getting just real fucking high hanging around the campfire.

That was awesome. We played a game where we set an animal with every letter of the alphabet. Oh, I've played that with you. We played that at the campfire. Oh, yeah. Fox and then whatever letters after X.

F, I mean. G, yeah. Yeah, so you say like Fox, giraffe. And then what is it, H? Hippopotamus? Hippo. Let's play the game. Let's play.

We got five minutes. Aardvark. Time flies when you have a phone. Yeah, this has flown. I feel like we didn't discuss Drifter nearly enough. Kyle, we're doing the animal alphabet. All right, tell me how to play real quick. We're going to go through the alphabet.

First letter. The letter that you're on is the letter of the animal. Baboon. Crab. Dog. Elephant. What's a good fucking F? Fish. Frog.

Is that too general? Frog or fish works all right um guppy hippo i sucks uh i iguana you fool iguana man i'm bad at the animal game is it a jackal jackal kangaroo lemur we all have to do the whole alphabet every time to get back up to the right letter monkey

n n what's a word that starts with n newt uh orangutan oh porcupine uh oh no p q oh one that starts with q goodness an one that starts with Q. Goodness. An animal that starts with Q. I've gotten a tough letter. You have. Ha ha. I'm like a quill is not an animal. It has to be one. I think I'm taking the L in this game. I felt like I was killing it. I was doing everyone else's letters. Q, Q. Is there a bird?

So this game's like eeny, meeny, miny, moe. No, no, no. It's like... Whoever gets Q loses. No, no, no. It's like Gravel where you need to know your one-letter words. Do you know any Q animals? I'm working on it. A quail.

That's a good one. Rhino. Stingray. T, right? Yeah. That should be easy. Why am I struggling? T, I'm coming up with fruits.

I need to think ahead. Tarantula. U. Uh. I do want to get to z you uh you we got we got two minutes yeah i'm stuck on orangutan good it doesn't start with you uh unicorn i like it unicorn works you're not gonna give unicorn okay well then you what's a you I like it unicorn works you're not going to give unicorn okay well then you what's a you uh

er is ursaring a that's a pokemon fuck that's a pokemon uh underwater snake that's cheating too um un you snake. That's cheating too.

Un You. You're hard, huh? Gurchin. That's a good one. I thought of Gurchin as well. What's a V? I'm trying to figure out what's on my desk right now. What was that? Got him though.

Kyle V? Viper. Damn. And then what's W? W. There has to be a fucking wood thing. Oh, W? Willow.

Woodpecker. You get a woodchuck or something like that. X. X. Zanzu. What do you mean X-ray fish? That ain't a thing. Yeah, if we could say X-ray, this would be a piece of cake.

I don't know of any X-animals. Well, there has to be. This game is... There is one called an X-ray fish. I'm googling it. A zeme? X-E-M-E? There's an animal that starts with X.

X-E-M-E. Zeme, I guess. Okay, well, we got it. X-ray fish actually does count. Why? What do you got on? Yellow tail. I thought of yellow tail tuna, but I wanted to do better.

Okay. You wanted to get one without a qualifier word in there? Yeah. A yang, a young, a yang. I'm just saying. Yak. Yak. That's a good one.

Zebra. Zebra's easy. We have beaten the game. All right. And that's exactly four hours. Thanks for watching. PKA. Now instead of animal.

No, we're done.