Painkiller Already - PKA 567 W/ Anthony Cumia - Costume Episode, Blackhawk Drama, Tiger King 2

Episode Date: October 30, 2021

pka 567 our guest anthony kumia taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lucy smart mouth blue chew and once again as always lock and load pka load stack check that out below come like a champion anthony thank you so much for coming on awesome yeah it has a lot of things uh you know going on in the world uh but good to be back. I know there's one constant, and it's you guys in the universe. Good. Looking awesome. A fixture. I was talking to Zach, our producer before the show.

He was saying your podcast network, your entertainment network, you're expanding a lot recently. Yeah. Like really growing. Tell us about that. How's that been going? We're doing comedy shows. We do these Comedians of the Compound all over the country. We got gigs coming up in Chicago and Miami. We did...

Where the hell were we? Texas. We were down in Austin, Texas and Philly. It's really a... We did Vegas. People want comedy. they really do want comedy that isn't you know hannah gadsby kind of uh yeah spoken word instead of laughs it's like yeah applause is so what's hannah gadsby i feel like oh god hannah gadsby everyone that's even

kind of remotely near the comedy industry knows h Gaspi is just this unfunny Australian broad who gets up. She talks about her various rapes that she's had over the years. And you're like, hilarious. It's just not comedy. And she got a netflix special and people watch it like oh it's just so inspiring it's like this shit is not funny at all did dave chapelle just take a run at her maybe he did yeah i looked her up i said i hadn't heard of her he was like yeah i'll talk to anyone but first they have to admit to me that hannah gadsby is not funny yes yeah

yeah because i mean yeah they just he is the authority on comedy yeah they they they put her over as like oh she's so amazing and funny and and it just looks like anytime you know when there's a stand-up on stage and they the boom shot comes across the audience and shows everyone laughing. And like the Hannah Gassi one, you actually saw people kind of, they didn't know what to do. I think they were just so uncomfortable sitting there that they kind of, they weren't laughing.

Yeah, I've watched a couple of clips of hers because I heard it was bad on YouTube. And like, you're not exaggerating. Like the applause to laughter is not on par with any comedy special. Imagine if every time Dave Chappelle said something, they were like,

it's not funny, but it's great to say. It's good he said it. Is that what I'm reading? Oh, God, yes. She just goes out there and virtue signals? She talks about her sexuality because I think she's a lesbian, but I can't even tell. I know.

Lesbian, straight, doesn't matter. Oh, my God. They're always talking about their sexuality and their periods. Yeah. Not like us, selling cum pills. That's the last lady. Good stuff. Oh, God.

Yeah, so people are just clamoring to get into comedy clubs and see people that just find stuff funny and don't care that it might offend people and just laugh their asses off and hang out and have a few drinks. So that's what we've been doing with the comedians of The Compound. And I'm looking

to get the fuck out of New York. I, uh, I sold my house. I'm in a, I'm in an apartment now in, um, in on long Island. And, uh, yeah, I, I've been down, I'm looking in a Greenville South Cagalagy. I'm going to get the hell out get the hell out and get into a much more, I don't know, similar mindset kind of a state. You've been talking about moving, getting out of the city for a really long time. Yeah, yeah. Even when you were doing ONA, you're like, this fucking bullshit city. As soon as this show's over, I'm gone. Now you're finally doing it.

Yeah, back then, there was some kind of equity in being in New York, especially if you're in the broadcast business. It was like the number one market for radio and you're getting guests coming through. And then with COVID happening and a lot of people Zooming in as guests on shows, it became more acceptable. And New York is just – the way we've seen it go downhill in just the short couple of years with COVID and our ridiculous mayor and now Biden as president and the governor, you know, Governor Sex Fiend Cuomo. We're not anti-Sex Fiend on this show, Anthony. No, no. Obviously with what you sell. We still defend anti-sex fiend. Yeah. It's just the taxes are insane in New York.

You're just not getting anything for it. I've gone down a few times. We've been looking at houses. The price difference is hilarious like you get you just get insane property and and houses and the taxes are ridiculously hilariously low so uh yeah area in like alabama is it hunter something do you know i'm talking about there's like a huntsville right this isn't like nasa have a big presence there or something yeah i think i think they have gigabit internet. I would check that out too.

I don't know. Greenville really just seems like a cool little big town, little city. The people are awesome. We went there and we're hanging out at this street festival thing. And I'm just looking around going, oh, look at the people. There's no yelling. No one's just punching someone in the face for no apparent reason.

I don't see junkies sprawled on the sidewalk shitting themselves. Yeah, it seems like a really cool place uh yeah yeah are you still one of those city people who like gets approached by a country person who's trying to be friendly and you're like what do you want what what's your angle it's kind of uh you mean to the neighborhood yeah i don't take it as a threat or anything but it is odd like you'd be driving around and and literally if you don't run someone over with your car they'll kind of wave to you like thank you you didn't kill me or so i i don't understand everyone waves and a woman pushing a stroller and she's like hi

okay dude the transition that i struggled with the most so i'm from new jersey and i moved to north carolina the pace these people move slow as fuck and I don't get it I still move quicker than all these guys I've been here 20 years like I remember early on I went vacuum cleaner shopping right now vacuum cleaner is something you can't buy on yourself you have to get it from like a top or something you know like whatever so I pick out the one I want and I asked for help and the guy's not helping me and i was like i like i'm ready and he's like well i guess i can stop what i'm doing if you're in a hurry if i'm in a hurry i'm always in a hurry you fucking work at sears don't you get like things off shelves for people

i was supposed to wait for him to finish i think he was taking inventory or something well sears this was a long time ago. Yeah, it was. Did he get your fax machine down for you? I'm like, is this person intolerably long in getting to me, or do I just need to reset expectations for the sale? Yeah, yeah. I guess there are a few compromises you have to make, things like that. Was the guy taking inventory of his life? Maybe.

It's working in Sears. Not anymore. I mean, the weather is going to be a million times better, too. You're going to immediately appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get three summers and a fall. You'll be okay. Yeah, the weather up here in new york just sucks and i've just i've

just had it with the politics the the the waste of of money the the unbelievable amount of crime and degradation in the city now so yeah prior to covid i felt like the government didn't actually have like i complain about the government but what impact did they actually have on our daily lives right then like i know new york in particular has shut down a lot of stuff and it stayed shut I complain about the government, but what impact do they actually have on our daily lives? I know New York in particular has shut down a lot of stuff and it's stayed shut down for a long time. When they open up, all the restaurants are outdoors and it's not outdoor weather. In the last, I'll make it up, two years, the government has had much more of an imprint

on what your life is actually like whereas before it was just complaining at the windmills i don't know yeah yeah they they you know they got people dining in the gutters of the streets they they set up these outdoor outdoor indoor places because indoor is so dangerous They've had to build another restaurant outside. And then they plop them right in the gutters of the streets. There's no raised floor or anything. I believe you're not exaggerating at all.

You're sitting in the gutter of a New York City street eating your dinner? Get out of here. It's so ridiculous. Ah, breathing in brake dust, dust asbestos and whatever else it was never like that intense but like i remember seeing the pictures of like new york outdoor dining and then it's just like a tent you'd see it like a wedding reception and everybody being

ushered there instead and i was i was thinking like this can't be like that widespread this is so retarded like is this one guy who found a way around yeah no it seems like that was very popular i have a good friend who lives in the city and he shares all your complaints i can't dox him because he works in a he works in a woke industry but uh but he's suffering and he's angry. That would be too. I don't want to eat in the street. No. Like you said, how much of the year can you spend eating outside in New York City? It gets cold very

quick. Four weeks on the inside of summer. Yeah. And then they make you show, now they're making everyone show a vaccine card in order to get into restaurants to even eat uh which is you know hilarious have you ever seen this no can you go into i've never i've never seen that but i did bring my card with me to denver um because i was like maybe there's

a just in case kind of situation maybe somebody wants to see this piece of cardboard that a lady wrote on in cursive one day. It doesn't seem like it would be. If we're going to treat it like a government-issued ID, it feels like it should have a hologram or something. They had more serious government-issued IDs in the 30s.

If you showed this vaccine card to somebody and it said polio on it back in the day, they'd be like, that doesn't prove you got the polio jab. They wouldn't have taken it. Seems someone just signed this. Yeah. Well, you look good. Go ahead.

Yeah, there's nothing to it. And the best part is there are apps that you could put a picture of the card and a picture of your ID in the app. So now you don't even have the actual card. It's a picture of the card to just show. And no one questions it. It's so ridiculous. There's so many counterfeit ones out there. So, you know, most people.

I have this big frustration with what's called security theater. Right. And they do it after 9-11. They did it in a big way. You go to the airport and they say, is there a bomb in your bag? Have your bags been out of your sight? That doesn't make anything more secure. If there was a bomb in my bag, I wouldn't tell them.

Especially if you're a terrorist. We're doing it now. Yeah, yeah. They say, hey, have you had any flu symptoms? Have you been near anyone? You just answer the questions correctly so you can do what it is you're trying to do. Of course. I remember when I first went to an airport, what you've got is a lot of airport experience derived from movies and TV shows.

And so I was staring at my bag the whole time because I let it out of my sight because it seemed like such a big deal. When they came and they asked the question, has it been out of your sight? I was like, absolutely not. Nope. Not for a moment.

I was shitting, staring right at it. The transportation systems, especially in New York, have made it where you have to wear a mask all the time. The buses, the subways, the commuter rails, everything. You have to wear a mask. I just refuse.

I just don't want to wear the goddamn mask. I had COVID last year. Did you get vaccinated? No. I took the antibody test. I'm not so much anti-vax. I'm pro leave me the fuck alone. And if I had COVID, which I did, and I was tested for antibodies,

why would I get the vaccine? If it's a billion to one that there's a problem with it, why would I even do that? Imagine a billion glasses, shot glasses, and they all have water in them except one has poison. And for no reason, they go, would you take a drink of that? And you go, yeah, well, what's in it for me? Well, nothing. You don't get anything. You can just maybe die if you take the wrong one. But there's a billion, so you're probably not.

Why would you even do that in the first place? That's right. I think there's a lot of data out there that says having the vaccine in addition to having the virus is better than having either one by itself. I don't know. You know what? Nature has shown over the course of millennia that natural immunization of viruses seems

to be okay. It wasn't really okay with smallpox, and it wasn't really okay with polio. Well, certain things, of course, deadly diseases, especially childhood diseases, things that spread amongst uh people at a much higher rate than covid does they they were a lot more fatal than covid is uh especially in certain demographics so why the fuck bother like i i am immune to covid i have worn a mask i'm around people all the time i got it and now i'm immune to it so i'm done i'm done playing this dumb game of vaccines and masks and all the other horse shit that goes goes with it

i'm out i'm done on that immunity i'm clicking disbelief on that i've been playing this game for like two seasons now or something like that. Yeah, yeah. So I enjoy my mask. I just flew to Denver and stayed out there for a couple weeks and went through the whole airport rigmarole. Yeah. I like my mask.

I hate it. Here's what I did when I was flying to Vegas recently. I, of course, fly at the front part of the airplane, the comfortable part of the airplane, the comfortable part of the airplane. So there are two stewardesses that are working the two aisles, one each in first class. So you're sitting there and you got to keep your mask on. Oh my God, planes, they are like fanatic. Well, I tip each one of the flying waitresses 20 bucks and then I tell them to bring me drinks they just constantly

kept bringing them dude then no one said a word to me after that i didn't even have the mask down i took the fucking thing off and they're just like would you like another beverage no one cares so it's not about safety it's about this fuck gave me 20 bucks so i'm not gonna hassle him about it and also they're probably like well i mean we say only eating and drinking he's been drinking the whole time yeah i said can you put your mask on no i guess no he's still fucking drinking another one you know that is the only part of the whole what did you call it what is safety theater theater? Security theater. I guess the whole part where

it's like, yeah, keep that mask on no matter fucking what, unless you need some Fanta. It's like, wait a minute. You wear your mask walking to your table and you take it off? We all recognize that as silliness, right? Yeah, of course.

When you see someone in the store take the mask off and go and it's like yeah i've been in that situation where i'm about to sneeze with it on and like i'm tempted because i'm like i don't want it to be all gross right well this is kind of the point of it or the the people they wear a mask all day because they're they're working right maybe they're in the service industry in some way, but they wear it below their nose. And it's like, bro, you're doing nothing. It's worthless.

Yeah, that is a chin strap is what that is. Maybe they're mouth breathers. Yeah. So I had a conductor on Long Island Railroad because I take the train in every day into New York City. And they make announcements. Everyone, regardless of vaccine status, needs to wear a mask along on the railroad. So I'm like, I don't wear a mask. I'm just not going to do it.

So this guy would come over and hassle me constantly. And then my girlfriend came up with a great, a great idea. So she handed me one of these. And when the guy comes over now, I just go like this. I go. And no one wants to deal with it. I have nothing.

I don't even know how to use it. I'm like injecting it in my arm or something. But no one wants to do it. They don't want to ask you another question. You just go... I guess it's like, oh,

poor, poor Codger has CPO D or something. And they leave me, and they leave me the fuck alone. So, uh, because you know, my commercial.

Yeah. No guy. I got mesothelioma. I don't know any of these diseases. You are a loved one. If you want, you don't watch commercials, Woody. There's this daytime TV tv like scam thing where they're like

have you or a loved one been exposed to asbestos or what did the asbestos like fucking job you've worked on a navy a navy ship air conditioning if you're a stuntman on a movie set and you've had asbestos. Is that a real work? I think that's what – yeah. Did you work for Hanna-Barbera between 1937 and 1956? The film had asbestos in it. Like that was asbestos in everything. I heard Steve McQueen died because of all the fire suits he had to wear had a lot of asbestos in them. And that's what gave him his lung cancer.

Or smoking 80 packs of cigarettes. No, it was the asbestos. You know what killed John Wayne, right? Yeah, the nuclear fallout, right? Yeah. The fucking nuclear fallout gave him cancer when they were filming that movie out in the Southwest. But didn't everybody involved with that movie die of cancer and not everybody but a huge significant number like well too too many but the duke was probably like as long as we killed those chaps i don't care

take my lungs we won the big one yeah i mean was, I think he's also the one who died and the doctors were like befuddled by the amount of meat in his colon. They're like, it's wild that he's still, he lived that long. Yeah, that's where the whole red meat, how much red meat do you end up getting in your colon over a lifetime came from, is that John Wayne, they were just like, oh my god, this guy, like his whole intestine was like a stuffed sausage casing. It would have been kind of nice to be smoking all that

and eating all the steaks you want, no greens, no vegetables. Who has the worst colon in Hollywood now? Vin Diesel, maybe? Is he fat now? I don't think he's fat. Yeah, Vin Diesel put on a few pounds. Whoa.

The Rock. The Rock, he's a specimen. They would have to. It would have to be an older star. And they just, you know what? They did live the life back then, man. They drank and smoked and ate like crap and they just they looked every part of it too man some of those guys i love watching shows like the twilight zone you see somebody on there and it's rod

sterling's talking about and he goes this is uh mark harris he's a 25 year old businessman and you're looking like the guy's got the horseshoe balding. And he's like, this guy's 55 to 20. This young couple lost their way. It was like, woman looks like my grandma. Yeah.

They just, you know, ridden hard and put up wet in the, the horse business. As they're like nowadays, like if they smoke cigarettes during a scene apparently they're smoking like fake pretend ones back then they're like taking breaks from their cigarette scenes to be like i'm gonna smoke a real one like at my leisure and so

yeah that's the worst colon in hollywood now it's an odd year so jonah hill's probably fat again so i would say he got he got fit looking and uh like muscular and then i think i found out that was a photoshop but uh oh no he definitely got he got into brazilian jiu-jitsu and got into shape and he started lifting and oh well then good i think yeah no he definitely turned it around he posted something on social media that he was asking people to not talk to him about his weight. Like don't even come up to him and say, wow, you look good, man. Hey, you lost weight. You look great. Like he doesn't want anyone acknowledging it because it makes him feel weird.

He doesn't want to talk about it. Yeah. I kind of get it. I might be misreading your vibe. Like he's being oversensitive. But oh, my goodness. No, no. That's how he feels. So he's entitled get it. I might be misreading your vibe. He's being oversensitive, but oh my goodness. No, no. That's how he feels, so he's entitled to it. There's like 200 million people who have an opinion on how you look,

and somehow Jonah Hill more than other people. Yeah, yeah. I think anybody that was heavy and then lost a lot of weight, Adele, she's going through all that crap now where people are actually the other way they're angry at oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the adele shit is crazy like where she i think she posted something i obviously only follow her career but she's been heavy and for a long time and she was like pleased with her progress of hard work and dieting and like look i'm getting skinny i'm getting healthy And all of her like fat women followers are like,

you betrayed us. You've left for the dark side. You were healthy before. She's like, well, I wasn't feeling good. And I was in a good mood. My hormones probably off. You bitch. They were calling her.

Yeah. They were saying that she was body shaming heavy people because she was talking about how good she felt now that she's lost weight and how, how proud she is and how she feels like she wants to be photographed now and go out. And they took everything she said, not as a positive for someone that's accomplished something,

but as you piece of shit, you're bashing me. I mean, how do you rationalize that? They made her the uncle Tom of fat women. Yeah. And she won't be the last. Some other celebrity will lose weight because they're not feeling good.

They'll start to feel better. They'll post about it and they'll get, and it's like, this doesn't happen about anything else. It's only losing weight. Like any celebrity is like, I was really, I was drinking from sun up to sun down i

didn't know who i was half the day but i'm over it i'm three months clean he holds his chip and a bunch of like badly typed comments he's like you fucking pussy i just keep drinking used to have i don't know what his substance abuse of of choice was but he had trouble and he got in court trouble all the time you don't see the people who are doing drugs now be like, you abandoned us. It never happened. He was cooler when he was doing cocaine all day.

I think we should give Hunter Biden shit for not doing drugs anymore, assuming he doesn't. He's still doing drugs. He's still going strong. If somebody says they're an artist, and replaces their paintbrush with straws, you got to think, all right, this is so,

if any, they find straws around his house and go, are you doing drugs? No, I'm painting. I'm a fucking artist. Is that what he said? No, no. How much were those paintings? No, but I assume that's what he did.

He paints with his, yeah, it's like, i also i also use a hypodermic needle and you know or something like that like yeah yeah paintings don't look terrible to me but i also it's one of those paintings where i feel like i could do it too with yeah yeah like i don't know i bet if we did a class of kindergartners, at least a couple would come up with equivalent to Hunter Biden's level of talent. He's not very good. I'll go so far as to say he's bad at painting.

The word you're hunting for is he is the coolest presidential son in a generation. He is the Charlie Sheen of presidential descendants. But do you think he was doing as much cocaine as George W. was when his dad was president? George W. Bush is the Charlie Sheen of presidential descendants. Oh, get back to me when George W. Bush has pictures. This is like doing crack off a hooker's ass. I mean, this was 100 years ago he was doing cocaine.

But he owned a baseball team, right? A minor league baseball team just being gacked up all day. Professional baseball team. It was like Texas Rangers. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the Rangers. My mistake. He owned a baseball team, right? A minor league baseball team just being gacked up all day. Professional baseball team. It was like Texas Rangers. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the Rangers, my mistake. He owned a real one. Damn.

Yeah. Oh, is this Hunter Biden art? Looks like a Petri dish. It's just what I said. It's not awful, but I feel like I could do it. That's coronavirus. It's not good. Yeah, yeah.

It's not great, maybe. Yeah. You know what this is? It's like he knew agents were coming coming and he's like, I need to fucking paint something! I'm just frantically trying to get some paint on the canvas. Yeah. This is my style.

I think we'll see one of those framed behind the Oval Office, like just up on the wall somewhere. Is that true? Are there some in the Oval Office? No, not in the Oval Office. That'd be like the president putting it onto the refrigerator. That's his version of Magnet. He's going to put it right there

between those two flags behind him. That's my boy. Why did my retarded son have to be the one that kept living? If you saw some Renaissance-era Zoftig woman painting, I'd be like, holy fuck, that's an artist he could he's really

good but like you said anybody i think can take a straw and some paint that's like you know oh wow it looks like a flat version of a colored easter egg like when you really take your time and try to you know make it really colorful it's bad it's just not good you know you do it do a three tries i could do that you know if you're a really good painter even if that's your style there should be a test where it's like all right i know that you're a bubble blower generally or whatever your style do yeah yeah do my face bubble blower just like do do a face and then if they can't do a face is bubblicious hand them an old matchbook and have them draw Tippi the

Turtle or something. That little art test they would have on a matchbook years ago. Draw a deer and it's like, send it in and we'll tell you if you're good enough. Of course, you'd be good enough because they want you to buy their art course. No matter what you drew,

they would send you back something that said you were awesome. And I think that's where he kind of – he's at in the art business. I didn't know that they did that with matchbooks. That's an old trick. Many years ago. Housewives have been falling for that one for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could draw that.

It's like you traced it, you liar. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah i could draw that it's like you traced it you liar yeah like like like you'd fool the people there yeah yeah it's like another perfect one got another tracer yeah right yeah i think uh hunter biden definitely probably the king of doing drugs as a presidential child yeah we can't know before pictures were around i i imagine george w was being was being insane like those are the yeah yeah right yeah he just did it before everyone had a camera phone in their pocket cameras right there video and everything else even look even his daughters were at the beginning of that whole

thing with iphones and smartphones and whatnot and they got caught up a couple of times doing shit that seemed a little shady. I'm sure W was just a fucking maniac. The first presidential kids that came out, they were doing drugs and nobody cared.

The Obama kids, where I think his oldest daughter was like, she took a puff of a joint at a concert. A couple like journalists tried to be like, is this the kind of influence we want? And I feel like the public at whole at large was like, go fuck yourself. Who cares?

Who absolutely cares if the Leah or Sasha, which I'm one of those. Also they were minors. I don't know. I try to give a little distance to minors when they're, you know, if the presidential kid is 40, then that's different. But if they're 17, dude, hands off. No one gave Barron that hard a time that I can recall.

I think that's appropriate. I think one person did. One person gave a shit and it was like, oh, boy. And they caught holy hell and everyone left him alone. It's like Amy Carter. Jimmy Carter's daughter was just the goofiest-looking little kid. And they put her in there, and everyone was like, could you please just leave this poor kid alone? What's the Clinton kid name?

Chelsea. Oh, name? Chelsea. Yeah, Chelsea too. Gifted with good looks. Frizzy hair and the teeth and everything. That was another one. People were pretty hands-off with her. I remember it differently. I thought that Rush Limbaugh fucked with her a lot and said some shit.

They gave her a hard time for being ugly a lot. That's mean. SNL did a bit about Amy Carter back when she was the first daughter. And I think Lorraine Newman played her. And it was about how she was going to school and the Secret Service were just beating the living shit out of anyone that looked at her sideways or anything. And it was pretty funny. But they kind of made her up to look pretty

goofy. Lorraine Newman, yeah. I don't like that. Yeah, you know. It beats shooting people on movie sets. Aaron Trump kind of snuck under the goal line there because he was too young to be doing anything other than Legos and K'nex throughout the whole

thing, wasn't he? What was he, like 13 by the end of it? I don't know. He looked 21. I mean, that's the biggest 13. I was 7 feet tall by the end of the presidency. Jesus Christ. He did grow up pretty quick. Trump height, number one search. No, he's fucking huge.

He's 15 now. He's younger than I thought. He was only 10 when Trump died. He's probably like 14 when he finished. A little young to cause any real dumb stuff. He's apparently, as of July 8th, 2021, this 15-year-old is 6'7". Are you joking? That's what it says.

Newest Trump Tower. Barron shows off his 6'7 height in New York City. I wonder if he's really that tall. I mean, have you, like, Trump is a short guy. Trump lies about his height. I'm saying Trump's not a short guy, but he's really that tall i mean have you like trump is like 0.5 trump lies about his height i'm saying does a short guy but he's not six three but he towers over his dad yeah he's got that melania six foot tall slovakian right he's in there yeah look at that normal man next to his oh my god oh my god baron yeah he is huge and oh boy and he's got the face i know what

you're thinking i'm thinking it too he's going through it let's just say he's going through an awkward phase he is his face is still in that awkward phase enough that you can see this growth is not done yeah no no no i mean i'm six seven dad's 6'2", it's not a bad guess. He's going to be one of those guys that's like, well, I started growing when I was 4 years old. It just didn't stop. They finally found my pituitary gland. How do I do it?

Oh, that guy. People think it would be cool being this tall, but people were afraid of me. I was on this swim team, and I swam with a 12-year-old who was like 6'4". And he had to bring his birth certificate to meets because people didn't believe he should be swimming against other 12-year-olds. It's freakish. Every once in a while, there's those freakish kids. There was some funny clip on the internet years and years ago of some Samoan kid playing

football. Like very young kids. They're all like eight. And like this kid was two heads bigger than everyone. And the only team – the only play the team with the Samoan kid did was give it to that kid. And no one could stop it. He was like going out of his way to knock down blockers as he's running to the end zone. He's like taking a slant towards a cornerback who's running away so he can barrel him down and then go back.

It's just so funny. But that can't be fun as a kid on the other team. That was the worst though. Like when you succeed as a young athlete. I heard this stat. Taylor, maybe you've heard it. Something like 80% of the NHL was born like january to march have you heard that before no i never heard about that so the deal is throughout life they were always like a few

months older than everybody else because they're born in january and february and that made them a little more developed it gave them a little more coaching attention. They were used to dominating the ice. And then that stuck. It's one of the number one predictors in NHL success. They're all born in the first two months. I wonder if they do that. They try to get their wives pregnant a certain time, nine months. They get a little Gretzky.

He's going to be an all-star. Right? I knew a kid that was in my grade who was a year older than everyone, and his parents kept him back specifically so he'd be better at sports. They say things like that. He probably wasn't doing well.

That probably contributed to it. That'd be a great excuse. I'm holding the boy back. There's a kid in my grade who's absolutely doing well. This kid was an above average student and he was a world class wrestler in my grade.

We do these like, what did you do this summer? And he's like, I went to Moscow and wrestled against the Russians. All of them. Just all of Russia. He would win too. It was like yeah anyway super good he won a hundred matches in a row or something like that jesus christ yeah did he go anywhere with it uh he he wrestled d1 but i think he got an injury in college or something and he was he

was all american but he wasn't like what everyone thought he was going to be, Olympian and such. Is there any money in being an Olympic wrestler? I don't imagine you'd get many. It's not that huge of a market. There's money in it for the top, top one. There's a guy named Jordan Burroughs who's making a lot of money as a top wrestler. If you're just some bronze medalist, there's no money in it. They should change the outfits. I think if wrestlers wore short shorts, it'd be so much easier to watch.

No, other direction. Ancient Greek style naked. Naked. Greg the Roman wrestle. That's how they did it back in the day. Were they naked naked? They were so naked. They were naked.

That was the the first. I mean, there's an obvious handle here. Could you use it? Oh, yeah. Well, you're not. You weren't supposed to. Like, if you read the Wikipedias on the first couple Olympics in ancient Greece and all the rules they had to change. Like, after Olympics won, they're like, all right, you can't sit on an opponent and break his fingers until he gives up.

That's rule one. Like, all right, next Olympics. All right, you can no longer, like, try and shove as much of your fist as possible in his asshole until he gives up. Or you can't attempt to actively gouge out the eyes of an opponent. So, like, very funny, like, little things. And you're just naked.

It used to be the only rule for, like, no eye gouges. And everybody had fun. Yeah, you were literally out there punching people nuts. And there's fun. With the help of a falcon. Yeah, you were literally out there punching people nuts. And there's a guy, I think his name's Joe San. Dude, you should see him. They had him in side control,

so the other guy's on his back. And he's just taking nut shot after nut shot after nut shot. Just raining down, punching that guy in the balls. And then it turned out the guy getting punched in the balls, rapist. Yeah, rapist. I love that story out the guy getting punched in the balls rapist.

Yeah, rapist. I love that story. I've seen that YouTube video so many times. The guy's like, you're watching him get punched in the balls and you're like, oh, that poor man. And then they're like, the man receiving the blows? Convicted rapist. Yeah, like, and then they pick his name and show his mugshot

and everything. And it wasn't one of those like, rapes that wees that we can usually forgive. When he was an 18-year-old, his 17-year-old sweetheart, Becky Klein, was like, oh no! He's like the real kind of rapist. He's like a drug-sum woman

out of a fucking parking garage or something. Like fucking Tony Soprano's fucking therapist. Dr. Melfi on the stairwell yeah wrestling when I was uh when I was going to school um you know regular gym class they would take the year and you know play a little baseball you'd play a little football this that the other thing and then uh wrestling was one of them And I just wanted no part of this. And it was, you know, it starts off. I was on all fours, you know, and the person puts their arm around you and grabs your arm. And this guy immediately took the arm that was around my waist, went right between my legs from the back and picked me up.

And I'm just like, it hurts so fucking bad. He's grabbing my balls. I'm like fucking nine. It was terrible and he slams me down on the mat. I'm like, yeah, I don't want any part of this. This wrestling thing and from then I don't

I know nothing about wrestling. Don't want to watch it when you bring up the uniform thing. It's hilarious because it is just ridiculously not a good look yeah yeah when i was a freshman the wrestling coaches were making like a full point court press trying to get me on the team they're like what do you should be wrestling you should come out and my ego's growing i'm like they must see some potential in me what they saw was a 98 pound weakling who could make weight at 98 pounds they were just taking forfeits every

match and they're like he won't do worse than a forfeit that's oh shit they saw that in me they should have been like like you don't even have to put on the outfit okay yeah show up in your jumpsuit it'll'll be fun. The token skinny kid. You're absolutely right about that. You're absolutely right about that outfit they're wearing. Is it a singlet? It's so bad.

Forget about that moose knuckle that those guys are always trying to get a whole love. Whenever I see them actively digging for the asshole as well as a point of leverage, that's a bad look too. There are photos of guys holding someone and

the whole, it's just gone. It's the bowling ball grip. They're in there. They're in there. There's some penetration going on. I don't know. You're not mad until you've read the mindset. I'm trying to find that picture.

Have you ever seen that bike team that's all standing there next to each other in their red singlets? It looks like their penis position is like a clock. You see all those clocks on the wall, the FBI at all the different times. All of them place their penis in different

directions. Paris and Moscow. That's hilarious. Is it shop, do you think? No, it's just really fun. I keep trying to find it, and it's just taking me to r slash bicycling, and the question is, where do you put your penis? Yeah, it's no good.

The UFC used to have that problem. Way back when, you'd see guys wearing a bikini brief or something coming out looking ridiculous. It's no good. They would wear what professional wrestlers wore at the time. It's kind of like an oversized racing swimsuit.

That doesn't make sense for wrestling either. These guys are supposed to be honky-tonk, visiting, pickup truck driving man's men. Then they pull off their clothes and they're wearing the the girliest like outfit ever they've got like these little these little bicycling shorts on and they're all waxed and greased up even the new the outfits they wear now which are pretty much bicycling shorts i don't i'm not digging it i don't like it that

much i can see why you choose it. Put on a pair of pants. I just linked the picture. Zach, don't show that. There's so much dick showing. I don't think we can even show this on YouTube. You can see the guy in the middle. His balls are on separate sides of the split. Yeah. I think the two guys on the right

talked to each other beforehand. They're pointing in exactly the same direction. Talk to you. Thank you. Where are you going? Where are you putting yours today? I'm going up. Well,

I'm not going down like that. And I don't know what sort of mangled mess is happening in the far left guy. I don't, it doesn't even look normal. Terrible. I don't know. Is he somehow pointing up and folded over?

I don't know. I don't know. There's like a gap between where his balls are and where his dick shaft would go. And then it appears, but either way, the Bulgarian national, they spelled Bulgarian wrong.

Wow. So not even trying either way this is just as bad as wrestling outfits and i think that they would expand their viewership if they were to just wear shorts to what he's pointing out just wear shorts yeah yeah also and and maybe i'm gay but if the dudes were topless and you saw like you know olympic wrestling physiques that would somehow be interesting to me like I like to see that. I like to judge what people are working with.

How about this as an outfit? This is where we meet in the middle. What about that Andre the Giant style thing with one strap? I want him in board shorts. They should dress like surfers. He had these big man panties on that were black.

Pull up a picture of Andre the Giant in his costume for a sec. Andre the Giant was hiding his body fat in that thing. It looks so uncomfortable. Is she Woody? He grew up in fucking Bulgaria or something. I'm sure his diet wasn't great.

France? I think they were going for a caveman look with him you know one strap thing like an animal that's what wrestling means look at that it's too small on him look you can see the fat of the thigh and the fat of the pelvis

meeting there that's muscle I mean in his case in his his disorder whatever that might actually be muscle because all the interviews of them they'll be like like like jake the snake or some wrestler was on on joe rogan a while back i just watched the i just watched the clip of him talking about andre because andre's a fascinating guy to learn about and they'll be like yeah like we all fancy ourselves like real strong guys big guys and then andre would just come in and really demonstrate that you did not belong there with him in any sort of real capacity like he just grabbed you as punishment was it

jake the snake i forget he like slammed someone really hard or something like that right yeah someone either talked smack or or irritated one of his friends so he in the match he just beat the shit out of him until he was satisfied. I know he had issues with the Macho Man Randy Savage. That might be it. Randy Savage, I guess, liked the oil a lot. He liked to get all oiled up

like a lot of those guys did back then. Andre hated the oil. No oil. No oil. He had one of those voices. Oh, it sounds like he's like gargling marbles i mean that would be like an example of like macho man like clearly acting and not being 100 sure if if andre was acting too

i'm sure yeah yeah we're like this guy doesn't like me i just watched princess bride last week um yeah and and like even in that movie his back was so bad that he's not doing a lot of like the major like he's not doing the horse riding obviously but he's not doing a few of the other like when it came time to like catch the princess like that's not him um there's a bunch of stuff that he's actually not doing oh yeah yeah he was gone by then he was was French, by the way. Very surprising. Speaking of movies, have you seen Dune yet, Kyle? I have not seen Dune.

I won't spoil it. I've thought about this in advance so I can talk about it without spoiling it. Dune is a hot pile of garbage. That is the worst fucking movie I've seen in three or four years from now. Really? Well, I hate to hear that. It is two and a half hours long.

If I wanted to, I could tell you what happened in 45 seconds. You might wonder what do they do with their two and a half hours? It is slowly unfolding different CGI scenes, slowly unfolding a CGI desert. A CGI spaceship will slowly come into scene. Would you like to see the interior of a CGI room? Well, we're going to

pass the camera off. I'm like hitting the 30 second forward button through this movie. Just like, oh my god. I can't sit through another one of these. This is a guy who thinks the Marvel series is like the peak of cinematic history. And I'm like like you guys are

leading too hard on the cgi i mean people people seem to like it i don't know what's wrong with me oh okay i'll look at the reviews then i there's a glimmer of hope left maybe maybe woody is just being woody um and everything's okay but no i i'm late i look like i don't like what i've heard you say so far i'll say this The first one had the exact opposite problem. The movie begins with a solid 90 seconds of just, it was the fourth age when the princess came to the navigators with a spice melange on the desert planet Arrakis. And 80% of what I just said isn't even made up gobbledygook.

And then it just goes on. And there's this one period in the middle of the movie, or really three quarters of the way through, where Paul Atreides is working with the desert nomads and they're just like, and then he spent a few years becoming a badass. There's just voiceover. And it's just like, wait, are we going gonna skip the part where he does his jedi training essentially and like yeah yeah giant sandworms and they do they're just like yeah that's a time passed and which time he became super hardcore so just know now he's like

a badass and then they move along i i'm thinking in advance so as i don't spoil anything it'll be interesting to see what you think about that plot arc next time yeah I'll check it out I'll check it out um you know I I it's been one letdown after another this year uh I watched the the the Sopranos movie right you know the Saints of Newark I think uh the Dickie Moltisanti story as I like to call it right I didn't give a fuck about any of that. I thought his kid did a pretty good job and I would have watched a movie that was just about him, which is what I thought I was getting into.

Turns out I wasn't. That sucked. And then there's a couple more things. I'm trying to think what just came out that I thought was going to be good and I haven't quite watched yet. What's been good that I can remember is some TV shows.

We both liked What If. I think we liked Loki. Any other good TV shows? I don't recall. There was that German one, Dark, that was pretty good. I'm just literally watching foreign TV shows because nothing coming out of this country is

good these days. It's a pretty cool show about it involves time travel, but not in a machine kind of way. It's a lot more organic and different generations of the same person in the same place

sometimes, and sometimes they're not. So it was kind of confusing to get a grasp of, but you eventually figure it out and then the the the voice acting because of course you know the korean yes but now when you watch the korean movie that everyone loves squid game i watched that and that's dubbed uh and the voice acting is just awful i i liked it. It was an entertaining little short binge watch.

But this one, they really did a good job with the voice acting. You forgot about it in no time. And Dark, the German sci-fi thing. I'll check that out. There's not enough time travel shows. Yeah, I don't know. Time travel is a topic. It's hard

to do well, right? You have to say, we're doing time travel. These are the time travel rules for this movie. Right, right, right. If we have instant time travel, then we can all solve every problem, it seems. Yeah. So they have to define why these problems are unsolvable for this movie. And they do. And they do. And they do. There are certain rules that are in place that make it impossible to keep going back and resolving your problems that you got into.

There were a couple of good movies, though, like Primer was a good low-budge time travel movie. We talked about Primer on this show so many times. Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah. I watched that movie. I don't understand it. I read the Wikipedia page. I think't understand it. I read the Wikipedia page. I think I get it. Watch it again.

Read the Wikipedia page. I watch videos of people explaining the movie. That's how deep into it you have to get. I thought they did a pretty good job of getting away with doing a time travel movie.

Okay. Dark. I need to re-watch Primer. Dark, yeah. That was good. Where did you find it? Was it Netflix? Looks like it's on Netflix. Yeah, Netflix. I'll check that out. Looks interesting. Nothing else is jumping out at me.

I mean, Netflix's Halloween movies are so bad they're not even campy because they're not trying to be campy. Oh, I got one. Oh, have you seen Psycho Goreman? Psycho Goreman? That sounds great. I haven't heard of it.

It's just a silly movie. It's really silly and it uses practical effects. I don't remember where I watched it. I might have watched it on Shudder because I think Taylor has Shudder. I've got Shudder, yeah. But I thought the part I liked was this little girl actor. She was so good and she's so cute and funny. And she kind of carries the movie for me.

But it's a silly premise. It's like her and her brother are digging in the backyard and basically find a monster called Psycho Goreman who can destroy the whole universe. He's like a he's like a he's like a like a thanos level like uh really called psycho gore man because i think she might have named work well okay she may have named him um yeah it sounds like a kid's impression of a monster that is all powerful very scary and has a goofy name yeah it looks like she gave him like her his first name is psycho and his last name is gorman yeah pretty much um so she's but but she's got like

i don't know the mcguffin the thing that whenever he's like he's always like i will destroy you human how dare you speak to me in this manner and she's like whatever i've got the thing and he's like damn it i will never let you die you will live for centuries in agony i will preserve your life force she's like yeah okay see you tomorrow and he's just like why isn't this little girl afraid of me i'm really not liking this like that's a huge downside and like it's not like he's bluffing or or like he's not often giving prime examples of his power level because he's always just literally crushing policemen's bodies

until gore sprays everywhere and blowing people's heads up. He does freeze this one guy in this perpetual existence of agony where he's just sitting there shivering in pain for eternity. Oh, God, yeah. He does but the little girl to the little girl she's like his imaginary friend or something but she knows he's real and uh like like she'll be holding

like a troll object and he'll be like oh and she's like hey he's like you almost had me there he's like damn it but these like literal lyric like uh not lyrics script like yeah yeah yeah he talks like that i think yeah yeah yeah yeah but but he's always like he's always he's got that voice where he's just like i could destroy this i have destroyed many planets across the galaxy feast upon i feasted upon their eyes and and you know rape their corpses and just all this horrific shit. And then she's like, oh, that sounds like fun. You want to go play hopscotch? He's like, I

will play hopscotch. Kyle, what are you for Halloween? Oh, I am... Yeah, what are you, Kyle? Oh, you are Things Around the Houseman? Things Around the Houseman. You are things around the house, man. Before the show, me and Kyle were in here earlier,

and Kyle sees me in my cowhide suit with my slaughterhouse background. He's like, it's the Halloween episode, isn't it? Okay, I'm going to text someone and have them bring me something. They immediately fall through and so like two minutes before you guys jump in he's like okay i could i could do something finds a green wig sunglasses and i was gonna and and my uh my apocalypse cloak like from princess bride and taylor you are uh cuddly cow? Just a cow. Just a cow. Cow in his near future in this room. Yeah, no, I knew that.

Obviously, I knew Halloween was coming up, but because it's kind of awkwardly, Thursday kind of falls awkwardly, I thought next week was the Halloween episode until yesterday or the day before or whatever. Yeah, yeah, me too. Ricky Bobby, I'll take a spin. Hold on. Oh, nice.

Wonder Bread racing out for sure. Woody made his today, too. He's just really good. He made it today. He's just really good. Yeah, Woody, you made that, didn't you? Let's go with that. Yeah.

He was slaving over a sewing machine. We start recording at 7pm. At 6.30pm, both Woody and I realized we didn't have a costume. Woody just came through a lot better than I did. I bought this early in anticipation of COVID delays. I've had this since... I might have got this in August.

He got this months ago. I remember him being like, I'm going to order my Halloween costume now. I was like, just get it the week before, you psychopath. Look where that gets you. The house man. The house man is a hilarious

costume. Honestly, though, that kind of costume, if you were a kid and you showed up at my house, you're not getting candy. Oh, shit. There has to be a theme. Everybody gets candy. That's the secret they don't tell you. When I was getting to be too cool for costumes

like ninth grade, I went trick-or-treating as a student, and I just literally took my backpack and used it to carry candy. That's low. That's a lame costume. That was awful. That's worse than things found around the house, man.

It is the worst costume, but I was a student. As a kid, I know I've said this before probably previous Halloween episodes, but I remember as a kid hating, like I loved all the free candy, but like the having to tell a joke that's good you're billy eilish all right i'm billy eilish yeah planned so i i didn't know like i remember being like halloween's awesome i love it i hate the part where you have to tell the people a joke

to get your candy and i thought that was around the entire country that people had to do that. That's just apparently not even a Missouri thing, just in the St. Louis area. And so like, I remember like maybe one of you said like, you're like, yeah,

you didn't tell jokes to get candies. What? They just gave it to you. Cause I remember hating that. You would show up to the house. Oh, now we go. Are you stealing valor? Oh, okay. He's got the, hand out the quota. Oh, now who's it? Are you stealing Valor? Oh, okay.

He's got the alien Nostromo jacket. Very cool. Nostromo, yeah. Weyland-Yutani. I like it. Yeah, yeah. There it is. Good. Man, it took Anthony a third of the time to get a way better costume. It's a Halloween special.

So I fucked up. Girlfriend's wondering, what are you doing wearing a fucking... For like the fifth year in a row, we haven't told our guest. And we don't address it in the first hour ever either. No, it's just like, yeah, I actually thought that at first. I was like, why the fuck are they dressed like that? And then, oh, yeah, Halloween. I don't really, you know, Halloween, especially I'm in an apartment now.

What the fuck? It's going to be no trick or treaters or anything. So it gives a shit. So you had to probably sell a huge amount of your stuff or either put it in storage. When do you think you'll make the move? When I find a place that's a suitable residence. It sucks because you've got to go down there

and look around. We should go shopping for your next place online on the show. I don't see how that can go wrong. Oh, no. Of course not. We'll just pull up Zillow and share it with everybody. We'll look for your place. I love looking at Zillow randomly.

Every month or two, I'll do this, where I spend hours and hours at night looking at Zillow, imagining being really rich. Could you say SNL a bit about this? No, I don't watch SNL, but I'll set the lowest acceptable one to $5.5 million. Oh, that's the lowest acceptable one to like five and a half million dollars just to see and then like look in the like the tampa area or like somewhere in california

california yeah i wouldn't spend it there you can get a huge amount in in the south for like five million oh yeah it's like it's like what mark zuckerberg lives in like that size five percent serious when i was shopping for houses i ended up getting this one but I was like 5% serious when I was shopping for houses. I ended up getting this one. But I was like, okay, okay. I can't afford like a really good castle. But like I've seen castles that aren't that big a deal. Yeah, I wouldn't be the king castle. I'd be kind of an answer.

I'd be like a viscount. I'd be a duke or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could be a duke of whatever, rednecks. Everybody hates you because you're the castle guy. But they can't stop you because you're the castle guy. What are they going to do? They'll have a moat.

Oh, that would be hilarious. There's probably a law against building a moat around your house and filling it with animals like alligators or something. Certain places. I think there are still some cities and states that you could probably do whatever the fuck you want. You're like getting interviewedators or something. Certain places. I think there are still some cities and states that you could probably do whatever the fuck you want. You're like getting interviewed by the news.

Well, I didn't think that they could just crawl out. Just plague your neighborhood. Turns out alligators go on land too. Nobody knew. It was a huge oversight and we're going to take a lesson from it and make corrections from it. Yes, and I apologize to that trick-and-treating family.

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? It's not going to bring your son back. In fairness, he was dressed as a Hershey's bar. What did you expect? The gator's still chewing. The gator's still chewing. It takes a while because we've got to fly down there when there's some prospects and take a look at them. There's a virtual tour that you could take of some of the houses, but you really do have to go down there at some point.

And then there's finding the right house. And know if it's on a half an acre that sucks or you get a nice 25 acres and the house is not what you want right shit like that so i'm looking for good balance but for some reason they built the house like 25 yards off the main road yeah like we had one of those and we were shopping like this sucks we have all this land behind the house and no privacy it's like the pet cemetery uh house with it kid kid runs into the road i watched the new uh pet cemetery and i mean it's not good but my memory of it was like being horrified when i was like probably eight or nine watching the original one. And having trouble going to bed that night after seeing that kid get clobbered by the semi. Oh, brutal.

Because I think that was probably the first movie in my life where a child died like that. Yeah. My little heuristic eight-year-old mind is like, oh, no, child's safe. Safe. And then not only is the child not safe, then the child comes back as an absolute ghoul who

wants to to murder and kill and and then you quickly lose empathy for the child because i don't need yeah yeah i'm fine with killing children i liked hunger but the dog should be safe i don't like to see them die yeah little little little gauge uh the little kid gauge from pet cemetery and he was in kindergarten cops so it's like you see him as this horrific little little Gage, the little kid Gage from Pet Sematary. And he was in Kindergarten Cops. So it's like you see him as this horrific little kid cutting people's Achilles tendons on their ankle. And then he's just an adorable little kid in Kindergarten Cops. So yeah, yeah.

I remember taking like... Cook the oomph out of it. I remember taking like unrealistically oomph out of it i remember taking like unrealistically big swoops with my legs to get off the bed for like a few days after having seen that because of just oh that was a terrible scene it was yeah there's some scenes that just like oh shit that one will stick with you the new it that wasn't very good It didn't impress me. The old It is better. And the old It also isn't a very good movie. It's awesome.

Is there a TV miniseries? There is a TV. I haven't seen it, though. Well, you know, it's all the same story, right? I know. I'm saying, but they split it into two. I stopped after the first one. Yeah, I read the book in prison.

It was really, really weird because, you know know you get to that underage orgy oh god yeah yeah more of a train that they run really yeah and that comes out of nowhere it doesn't have anything to do with the plot like if you really only want to read that part of the book it's the only part i'm curious about i mean it's only like two pages. I'll have to Google it. Yeah. But who was the editor for that? Stephen King's a weirdo. He is a weirdo.

He's a weird fuck. That book is 1,200 pages long, and the editor wasn't like, Stephen, can we lose the child sex scene? It doesn't have anything to do with the – No, no. If something creepy came out about Stephen King in real life, no one would be surprised. Jesus Christ.

No one would be shocked if something creepy came out about Stephen King. The groundwork is set. There's like... A lot of his books have just needless really weird, gross sex stuff. But then again, so does this show. His movies are so bad.

His movies are so fucking bad that he has anything to do with if people just buy like the script or buy the book and then have a screenwriter take care of it like shawshank is brilliant movie not many people even know that stephen king um but when he does something and he's involved and he thinks he's gonna do his hitchcock cameo in there and everything uh it's so embarrassing everything he's something and he's involved and he thinks he's going to do his Hitchcock cameo in there and everything. It's so embarrassing. Everything he's done that he's involved with. Was he involved with the shining at all?

Or is that why the shining is so good? He's not involved. No, not at all. Except for the one he remade to, you know, because he hated the one Kubrick did. So he would,

he was going to do a better job. He hated the one Kubrick did. Of course. Yeah. The one Kubrick did is, is meant to be a slap in the face to do a better job. He hated the one Kubrick did? Of course he did. The one Kubrick did is meant to be a slap in the face to King. Oh. Well, I just thought it was a great movie. And he's like, Jack Nicholson, Stanley

Kubrick, fuck that. I'm getting the guy from Wings. And it was like one of the women from Full House or something. I don't remember what the rest of the casting was, but it was like one of the women from Full House or something. I don't remember what the rest of the casting was, but it was like the TV casting. Wasn't she the girl from Risky Business, the blonde prostitute girl? It could have been. I've only seen it once.

That's the one where instead of an axe, they use a croquet mallet, right? Yeah. And the hotel isn't like the freaking out overlook hotel in kubrick's movie was amazingly scary this one's like what is this a motel six like it's all done on the budge on the cheap and and it it looked every bit of it you mentioned risky business i i wonder if tom cruise would have even been a star if he refused to do the underwear dance. Because that movie, that was the best part of the movie, right? It was the funny thing.

The parents leave the house and this is his misbehaving. Yeah. He might have never become Tom Cruise if he didn't do the underwear dance. It did put him over. Yeah, that movie was huge. And Scientology, of course, put him over. Yeah. I like that he does his own stunts.

Yeah. I mean, he's just... Who was that other actor who was talking about, like, no, I don't do my own stunts. I want to make sure there are jobs for the stuntmen. Kyle, you would know better than I would. Alec Baldwin. Poor bastard.

I feel bad for the poor bastard too. I'm afraid I'm like the liberal on this call. Dude, they told him the gun was clear and then it wasn't. And he's the actor, right? There's someone else in charge of this. Hey, you know what? You know what thought I just had?

Go ahead. Do you think he said something cool right before he pulled the trigger? I hope so. Make my day. I just had? Do you think he said something cool right before he pulled the trigger? I hope so. Make my day. Oh, God. Make my day.

Oh, shit. I mean, he probably did. He's an actor. He was practicing, I think, practicing a cross draw. Yeah, they were in a church set. He was practicing a cross draw. Yeah, they were in a church set. He was practicing a cross draw from his left to right, I guess. And the gun was loaded.

And when he pulled the trigger, the cinematographer was right in front of him, went through her, into the director, one bullet. And no one could really figure out why there was live ammo on the set never mind in the friggin gun at the time but i i have some theories this this girl that they had in charge of the weapons was unbelievably incompetent and not ready for the job yeah and uh and you know obviously you guys are familiar with guns the um a western revolver you don't pop the cylinder out and spin it look you have to open a gate on a western revolver and you see one chamber at a time and you literally have to go click click click and look at every single one to make sure it's empty i bet someone opened the gate went oh it's empty saw one empty chamber and, and then put it down and said, oh yeah, that's a cold

gun. That's a good theory. The sheriff of the county that it happened in is not ruling out criminal charges against Alec Baldwin. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he is the guy that pulled the trigger and it was pointed at someone and who knows.

I don't think anything will come of that. Yeah, I don't think so either. I don't't think so either i could see how maybe someone wouldn't rule it out you know even if he just doesn't want to close that door like if i'm president and they say woody are you willing to nuke someone i'm like everything's on the table right why would i disarm myself in that regard right right so that might have been what he was doing. But I still feel like, look, someone's guilty of negligence. Oh, yeah. I just don't think it's Alec Baldwin. Well, I think Kyle was the one who told us, or maybe it wasn't Kyle, maybe I read this,

that the reason the woman was hired as the armorer is because her dad was a famous armorer in Hollywood. And they kind of were just like, well, you do it. And she, I think, to her credit, I think she even said she wasn't qualified to do this. I'm not qualified to handle guns. So I didn't say that. That's new information to me. But the idea that your armorer on the

movie or TV show or whatever was like, I'm not fit for this job. I could do that job. Any of us could do that job. Better of us could do that job. Well, I mean, better than her. Yeah. No shit.

But I could leave without someone dead. There's a fan of the show who is an armorer for Hollywood. Maybe I shouldn't name him, but we all know who we're talking about. Except poor Anthony. And there's a lot to it. When he has people even use blanks, he controls the angles at which they shoot. Like they don't even shoot blanks at each other.

It's a camera trick to sort of make it look like they're pointed at each other. And that's part of the safety protocol that he ensures happens. So maybe I would fuck that job up. But at least there wouldn't be real bullets in the guns. There's supposed to be so many redundancies in how they check the guns. And the second you hand it off, that person is supposed to check the gun to make sure it's empty. Because you hear, oh, it's a prop gun. How does a prop gun?

They're real guns. These are real firing actual guns. As a matter of fact, another thing that they did that was fucked up was target practice. They were shooting cans with the guns that they were using the next day to film with, with actual live ammo. And they're plinking cans with these guns. So there was live ammo in the set. They said that they had mixed. They found a tray of blanks and live ammo in one of the trailers.

There isn't even supposed to be live ammo on the set. trailers there isn't even supposed to be live ammo on the set like that isn't even supposed to be there but you know again there are so many things the assistant director was the one that handed the weapon to alec baldwin he's not supposed to do that uh he didn't check the gun beforehand he just assumed it was empty so you know there's a chain of custody there i think that uh's I really hope it was some like really quip that he made and it's going to have to get played in court like over and over like smoke on this Montoya.

And then it's just no! He's like I'm going to get you. Could you imagine? Look out! On the cheap. A lot of people on the crew said they had seen for weeks that it was bad. One of his lines was, you'll never prove I did this on purpose. That was a line that they cut from the film.

Quick, write that in the script. Jesus Christ. Help me out here. I mean, that would look horrible for him. What if he said, I'm going to kill you? Then that would prove guilt. I don't think that happened. I saw the picture of him.

He seemed really torn up about having just obviously killed someone. Did he look upset? Yeah, he looked... He was giving the normal response of having just obviously killed someone. Oh, did he look upset? He was giving the normal response of having just accidentally killed someone. Donald Trump Jr. is selling shirts that say guns don't kill people, Alec Baldwin kills people. Really?

Yeah. That's so bad. Alec Baldwin, I don't know. He does seem like an arrogant prick. He's been in the news so many times for being a piece of shit and treating his daughter like shit and then the press

drops the F word for a gay guy that was photographing him and shit like that over the years. We've seen that, but you just don't want to see somebody have to go through that the the family first of all the woman and you know unless he woke up that day and goes god i want to fucking kill somebody today uh he probably feels bad about it we should really just imagine so the things he

does on purpose hold him more accountable for those yeah yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I bet it'll blow over and like nothing will really come of it that much other than new rules about armorers on set and new contingencies. Possibly, but here's the thing. My interest in this movie, Rust, is way higher than it would have been otherwise.

I kind of want to see it now. Okay, it's rough that she's dead, but it's very good commercially. Yeah, everyone wants to see it now. Okay, it's rough that she's dead, but it's very good commercially. Yeah, everyone wants to see it now for some reason. We were talking about, on my show, we were talking about the fact that they're trying to now use it to

get real guns completely removed from sets. CGI, you could use it for the muzzle flash and the smoke and everything. It's like, first of all, I don't know. I think when even actors are in a room and you're hearing boom, boom, boom, like a gun fight is going on, that sound probably gets you pretty revved up and the smoke and the smell of gunpowder and stuff. And it's very hard to really fake the kick of a gun and, you know,

just the smoke in the room and how it dissipates, just shit like that. But then I look at movies and we play the clip of Sonny Corleone being killed at the toll booth, and it's like, there's so many guns going off, so many explosive squibs under his clothes, and no one died on that fucking set. So I think for the most part, it's a pretty good safety record

when it comes to guns in film. Yeah, this is a freak thing. I'm making this up, but I feel like the overlap between people with actual gun expertise and experience and Hollywood actors, it's not what you need it to be. Oh, yeah.

Alec Baldwin probably doesn't know shit about guns. I would guarantee he doesn't know shit about guns. He knows a little bit more than he knew a few days ago. Touche. He's learning something new. And they're like, oh, the gun malfunctioned. It's like, that gun did exactly what it was

supposed to do. The trigger was pulled, and it threw a piece of lead into a person. It did exactly what it was supposed to. It was a misfire. It was this. It's like, no, that was a fuck up. It was a damn good shot.

Yeah, dude, he got collateral. Those are rare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Double kill. Hopefully. Maybe not. Like playing Call of Duty when everyone comes running

through one door. Put that shot in a montage to let the bodies hit the floor. 2008 COD video. I mean, like, it really reveals how truly nothing they knew about guns or even the armor whoever loaded it to like yeah if you put a huge bowl of blanks and live ammo and you mix it all up

all four of us are going to have a hundred percent accuracy if only picking the blanks right and putting it in the gun because it doesn't work with the point they don't even look they look nothing alike they just look like a round that's crimped at the top. There's no lead. It's the actual brass that's just crimped into a little point at the tip. That's about it.

Some of them use wax or some other sealer. But you would know in a second. The closest thing I think is a wad cutter. You might mistake, somebody that doesn't know what they're doing, might mistake a a wad cutter. Those you might mistake. Somebody that doesn't know what they're doing might mistake a flat wad cutter for a blank. But you've got to be pretty stupid. I've read that blanks are really dangerous for about a foot.

Like you couldn't put one on your ankle and shoot it. Ask John Eric Hexum. He was an actor back in the 80s, was doing a movie and took a gun with blanks in it, pulled out five of the blanks, left one in, spun the cylinder and went hey, click, boom it went off and the energy from the blank

put a piece of his skull right into his brain. So his skull was the actual projectile into his brain and it killed him. Yeah, yeah. It killed him. That is some fucked up shit. He's an idiot. And then the Brandon Lee thing.

Yeah, I just heard about that one recently. I guess there was a, is it called a squib shot, when the bullet gets stuck in the barrel? And then a blank was fired behind the bullet that was stuck in the barrel. So there was a bullet that shot him. It just wasn stuck in the barrel. And so there was a bullet that shot him. It just wasn't in the cartridge. They needed the front of the gun to look like it was loaded with real ammo.

So they took the powder out of the rounds, popped the lead back in. And then, you know, you look at the front of a revolver, you can see the lead. They didn't deactivate or pull the primers. So the primer charge was enough to dislodge the round and put it into the barrel. Then when they went for

the money shot and dumped all the blanks out and put or dumped all the fake bullets out and put the blanks in, it was just waiting for the blank energy to propel the round now that's in the barrel with just about the same speed as a bullet right into Brandon Lee's

abdomen there. And then they left him laying there while the rest of the scene played out because they thought he was just acting. And that is understandable. Yeah, yeah. God, great job, Brandon. Great job. Dude, I believed it.

If it happened to Daniel Day-Lewis, he'd be dead for an hour before anybody noticed. He's like, man, the man's a fucking artist. Look at him. Brilliant. We already finished lunch. Look at him. He's got his own blood packets.

I don't even see his chest moving up and down. Amazing dedication this man has. I've never heard a death rattle. When he said, please help me, I'm not lying.

I'm not acting. My name is Daniel Day-Lewis, the actor, and I'm mortally wounded. We were like, fuck, the way he keeps in character. And the crazy thing was,

I believed him. He sold it to me so hard. Please help. He wrote help me in his own blood on the floor. I mean, we put it up to great improv. We didn't know. Are there any other examples of actors dying on set other than like uh oh the best one right ben hur or maybe it was not ben hur all right god was there a chariot race where

people died oh twilight zone movie yeah that's the best one and by best i mean worst um oh terrible they were filming the scene the scene in very shallow water, but there was a helicopter. That's the crux of the issue. It was a Vietnam scene with Vic Morrow and two kids that weren't even supposed to be on set at that hour. Children. The child actor. They paid no attention. They got some local kids from wherever shithole they were filming this in. Vic Morrow was supposed to have one kid under each arm or something and run

out of this lake, this shallow lake, while the helicopter hovered above. They shot off a couple of flares. One apparently hit the tail rotor of the copter. This thing just went, came right down on top

of Vic Morrow and the two kids, decapitating Vic Morrow and killing the other two kids. I've seen it. I've seen the video of it hitting them. Oh, yeah, yeah. Taylor, it couldn't hit them. I'm watching it right now. It couldn't hit them more squarely.

Oh, oh, God. You know how in a movie, how the car will always hit the tree perfectly so that it splits in two and you're like, ah, come on. It would hit the rear end or the front end or somehow the guy jumps the motorcycle through a keyhole

in a tower. You're like, nah, come on. Something would hang up. Dude, if they had tried to crash this on them, they couldn't have done it more square. The pilot was fucking all the way in. He was just making

sure. It was pretty bad. Vic Morrow, by the way, a little trivia. The father of Jennifer Jason Lee, the Stacy from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the blonde girl. Oh, well, that's true.

And Hateful Eight. She well, that's true. And Hey, Filet, she was in that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just reading about television and film accidents. 27 animals were killed during The Hobbit. What? On purpose? Several goats and sheeps fell into a sinkhole under the farm. One horse was hobbled

and left on the ground for three hours another was killed after falling off an embankment one horse had the skin and muscles of her leg torn off from wire fencing several chickens were mauled to death by unsupervised dogs and trampled by large a global protein pizza for fucking alec baldwin A global protest by PETA. Fucking Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin got one kill. Yeah.

Wait, is this the newest Hobbit? New Zealand, right? Yeah, 212 to 14. Wow. I mean, those movies were not worth the lives of even one chicken. Those movies were fucking awful. No, The Hobbit was awful. The Expendables has, like, every time, every Expendables film has had a couple

decent ones, but my favorite is Jason Statham was driving a truck and the brakes went out and it crashed into the Black Sea. But isn't he like an Olympic diver? He just swam out unharmed. Of course he did.

Yeah, Jason Statham. Yeah, that's Jason Statham. He's a man. He is a man. Isn't he? A man of men. Fucking gang. He's an honorary American. Have you ever seen Milo and Otis?

Of course. Oh, you've seen that. They lost so many cats and puppies. Oh, God. Yeah, Milo and Otis. I loved it as a kid. It says that several Australian animal rights organizations raised allegations of animal cruelty. And it says there was an alleged killing of more than 20 kittens during production.

There was an allegation that a producer intentionally broke a cat's paw to make it appear unsteady on its feet. Oh, my God. make it appear unsteady on its feet for a scene. Oh my god! Other sources were the source of the controversy were a scene of a cat falling off a cliff and trying to climb back up. They say that a cat died then. A scene of a pug fighting a bear. They say a pug died then. My money was

on the bear all along. The bear's undefeated. Who was the animal wrangler for that? Dr. Fauci? Did you keep throwing pug after pug at the bear until the last one went? It's only a five second scene, but these pugs have no stick-to-itiveness. Just a pile of dead pugs. Kyle, how many thousands of pugs would it take before that bear is like, I'm exhausted.

Yeah, you got me. This is like that Trillion Lions versus the Sun thing. There's no amount of pugs that are going to take down a bear. It's like 10,000. Especially one-on-one-on-one-on-one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe all of them at once, but that doesn't look good on film. Yeah.

The first 500, he just swats away. Oh, they didn't care. You're shooting a children's movie about the adventures of Milo and Otis, and you're hobbling cats so that they can't climb up an embankment, and then it dies, and you just go,

it looks the same as all the other fucking cats we have. Boom. That's a really cool movie. I watched that when I was a very young child. Anybody out there who's never seen it, Milo and Otis, check that shit out. It's a little taste of what the 80s was like. I remember liking

it a lot. Speaking of cats, Anthony, I noticed your cat plays. It's like a jaguar or something. Oh, yeah. Do you have a $25,000 cat like John Jones or something? It's a Bengal. They're Bengal cats.

There's two of them. Bengal cat? Beavis and Neo. Yeah, yeah. And they take an Asian leopard. It's a small leopard. And then they breed it with a tabby. And then they breed that like five more times with a tabby.

And the tabby fucking hates it. They like five more times the tabby they just keep throwing they keep throwing tabbies at it until it doesn't kill it anymore I'm so tired of killing I just want to fuck so they take a bagel that's like a wild animal and they breed it with a tabby

and then what comes next? the offspring of that? yeah you gotta breed that with a tabby. What comes next? The offspring of that? You got to breed that with another tabby to get the crazy wild instinct out of it. They're still insane

cats. They'll hunt you and they look awesome. They do look awesome. You'll walk to the bed and one of them will just come darting out from under the bed bed grab your ankle and twist and then start kicking and biting you're like what the fuck because it's a wild animal in your head yeah yeah yeah it's got like a certain percentage of uh this is a wild animal basically let me see where the little fucker is uh i think I think... Here's Beeb. How you doing, Beebus? Come here. Come here.

He's Beebus. Here he is. Yeah. He's pretty cool. He's spotted like a wild animal. Yeah, yeah. You can tell he loves that. He's never met you before. These are they're not lap cats they're not fucking you

know to be uh i'll get me i am 48 years old i still have yet to meet a cat that likes me i hate me i try so hard to i try to win them over by being even nicer that that's yeah that's how you went over cat cats tend to like me like when i go to my friends houses who have cats they all want to rub on me and i'll like be nice and give them a pat and then like 10 minutes later it's like i'm crying like my eyes are so watery and red and bloodshot because i i think i developed the cat allergy in like adulthood because i didn't used to have this. But now, no, I can hardly be around them. So they hunt you around your house? Yeah, yeah.

They hunt you. They're really – they like to play. You could throw shit, and they grab it and bring it back to you and fetch. They're just – yeah, they're kind of a little wild. I don't think they'd be good for a a family with with kids that aren't you know do they fight each other scratch resistant yeah they brawl pretty good uh sometimes just you hear them screaming and they smack each other in the face and run and they the one the littler one will actually grab the big one like a what how they grab water buffaloes and shit

in the wild by the hind quarter and then sink their teeth in to their backs that's what the little one does to the bigger one and the bigger one gets really pissed off i think yeah it's like they needed a couple more generations of tabby yeah maybe a couple of more tabbies in the mix but you know what what's really bad is being in this apartment now and not in the house because there's no real getting away from them. And at night, if they start fighting or screaming, they'll just be like, oh, they do that wild howling at the moon thing. Soon you're going to buy a palace in South Carolina with a real estate super four. Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I'm yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. You can just let them outside and they can fend for themselves there. Yeah, fighting off alligators. I think the gator might have the upper hand. Just keep throwing cats.

He's got two tats. I got two chances. Have you always been a cat person? I like dogs, but dogs are so much responsibility. When I go to South Carolina, I plan on getting a German Shepherd. I like dogs.

There'll be plenty of room. When I go somewhere for the weekend, you could just dump a shitload of food down and you don't have to be there for a cat all the time. Dogs need to be walked every fucking time. That German Shepherd is going to get its ass kicked by those Bengal Tigers. Oh, probably.

Probably. He's going to be loving and sweet and those Bengals are going to abuse him. It's going to be one of those things that by the time the German Shepherd is 105 pounds, it will still be oh danger danger stupid cats right not knowing yet you could snap its neck exactly it'll be sweet you know what i mean i love dogs too but i like the puppy phase a lot i've always thought though it'd be fascinating to get like one of those german shepherds that come straight from like the german guy who trains it and everything oh yeah you just learn the verbal commands and the thing just snaps too right right yeah but i always wonder like how long under my lax tutelage is that going to remain like because

i'm not i don't know not three months you think so that's a long time young padawan yeah you'll scream you don't want to fuck him up and make a darth vader fucking uh dog out of him i fucked up your training i i apologize yeah i mean a big enough dog if you don't if you don't train them right they can fuck somebody up well that's the whole thing that people say about pitbulls and and uh the my take is they're they're pretty hypocritical when they talk about pitbulls they and uh the my take is they're they're pretty hypocritical when they talk about pit bulls they go look it's the person that trains it if they train them bad you're going to get a bad dog and that's what but then they insist that you you adopt these things from a shelter it's like oh so you want me to adopt one that's been trained by some shitty person that

abandoned them and then gave him to a shelter a A pit bull, I would never want one. But I would want one as a brandy new so you could train it and make sure it's being raised. You don't know what you're getting when you adopt, rescue a dog like that. No. So many of them will be like, we talked about this the other week, so I won't stay on it. They'll be like, look at this beautiful lab mix. And it's like just not even close to a lab. It's got a total pit bull face structure.

You could insert a whole dinner plate in its mouth and it wouldn't break. It could go right past it. God, that's so funny. Lab mix. Oh, yeah. Mixed with a fucking Tyrannosaurus. Yeah, exactly. A line about them that you said many years ago with their like a shovel bill burrs got the joke where his girlfriend went

and got the dog without his like not permission but like without him being part of the the whole thing yeah she's like it's a it's a pit mix and he's like it's a pit mixed with what? Another fucking pit bull? It's a fucking pit bull. And then he fell in love with the dog, and then he had a kid and had to get rid of it. He just got rid of it straight up on pit bull reputation? I don't think either of them wanted to surround a kid.

Well, he knew the dog. Right? Yeah. Some tells me if it was cool, he'd be like, yeah, we'll keep it. But he he knew the dog. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Some tells me if it was cool, he'd be like, yeah, we'll keep it. But he probably knew this dog would snap at a kid. Once you've seen your dog pull enough whole chickens off the

table and sprint away with them so fast that you can't stop him before he will stop and get down. Maybe an infant doesn't belong in his household. Imagine that chicken swaddled in a little blanket i mean i think i think on his podcast years and years ago when he got it he's like it's great walking this thing i know what it's like to have a gun now everybody's crossing the street making way oh Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah.

True. Yeah. If I have my little dogs on a leash and I'm at the dog park and I see a pit bull, it's like, yeah, we're not going in that direction anymore. I'm not rolling the dice. My dogs fall off the back of the couch and they can get hurt. They're so little. That pit bull could stare at me. The front of the couch.

The front of the couch on this thing. That pit bull could stare at him. The front of the couch. The front of the couch on this plane. Yeah, but it would just be too much to bear to see a dog attack my dogs. Those videos of mine are horrible. They could fall off the couch very often. I just imagine they might. One of them did it in the last week.

Teddy, the 12-pound one. He fell asleep on top of the couch and fell off onto the wood floor behind it. And I just heard, not a loud crash. And then he's like clearly panicked but like he's almost like so little he hit terminal velocity well before the so he's gonna be fine one of the one of the bengals here the the smaller one neo he uh at my house we had a balcony and a railing and and they used to sometimes walk on the outside of it. And cats are supposedly pretty graceful,

but Bengals aren't. They're a little more wildcat than they are graceful. Flip over and all forth. This guy falls off of the balcony, hits the tile floor, and I just hear

snap. And his leg is just dead just fucking not moving like motherfucker and here we go I gotta fucking go to the animal hospital and they're like oh yeah that's a broken leg in a few places

we gotta put pins and screws and plates in it I'm like what the fuck I'm like all right you know what i want to hear what's the fucking cost eight grand eight grand for this fucking cat's leg and uh i guess they did a good job because he's he's active you can you would never know his leg was completely shattered did you like ask like is there a middle ground like right right he doesn't need to hunt how much for you got something in the

two thousand dollar range yeah well we have another cat what was it three grand your cat uh yeah they, they go for anywhere between $2,500 to up to $20,000 for the second or first generation. Because some people want that. They want a crazy, insane, wild animal in their house. But yeah,

I think Beavis was like $2,500. The other one, I don't remember. They're around that though but yeah and then when when it breaks its leg you're just like motherfucker you're a cat you're supposed to land on all four of them and it broke its leg in the house it wasn't even doing any like wild shit out no no no we uh it fell right on that one leg landed on one fucking out of four this was a topic of discussion like a week or two ago. We started looking it up and

a cat's terminal velocity is lower than the speed required to kill a cat. technically... Sometimes. More of the time than not is the way to phrase this. You can throw a

cat from an infinite height and it will survive parachute and land on their feet and be okay sometimes that's why you never hear of uh cat parachutists dying that makes sense that is yeah yeah regardless of parachute failure or anything they're fine yeah god damn that's an amazing fact i've seen them some fall from some pretty crazy heights and they kind of do this thing like they're you know they stay kind of upright yeah and then they hit the ground and i've seen pictures and videos of cats that go out. Their owners let them go out onto the windowsill 20 stories up. And they're just out there.

They go, you out of your fucking mind. Mine falls off a balcony in the house. And breaks his fucking leg. Yeah. Asshole. I didn't grow up with any cats. We always had dogs. My grandmother had a cat, and I tried so hard to make that cat like me.

I have scratches across my face. They are just really jaded fucking pieces of shit personality. A lot of them, it's their own terms man sometimes they want you to pet him and scratch him and whatever and they'll they'll rub their heads on you and then other times you know you just look at him sideways and they're like fuck off yeah dogs just better pets right even in human relationships one person's the cat and one person's the dog you know think about it think about your girlfriend or whatever which one of you is the cat and one person's the dog you know think about it think about your girlfriend or whatever which one of you is the cat and one of you is the dog one of

you gets all the attention and receives it in the other one yeah perhaps it can happen dogs i think if you have a dog you you really want to be the the dog knows you're the boss the dog will feel bad if it fucks up. It's hilarious. And then it'll continue fucking up. Some of the funniest videos are dogs that are being confronted with a chewed up shoe or something. And they just,

they can't look at you, their eyes, or they're, they're just like in the corner of the room. They know they fucked up. And I'm like, they know, but they would do it in a second again

they just don't have that connect in their brain right that no brain that dog brain can't can't it really struggles oh better not do this he'll be mad yes right it'd be good if we do this sure will and then they know when he's mad they know when they go oh wow he got mad i see the shoe did you what did you do and they're like oh i did it and now he's mad at me but they can't connect oh if i do this he'll get mad at me yeah my dogs if they know i'm like mad at them they just, I'll be like, Teddy, he knows he's not supposed to bark at the neighbor's dog out back. So I'll be like, Teddy, get you, get inside. And the second he steps inside, he just

flips over on his back and is like, I know I fucked up. I fucked up and it's not going to happen again. Or they'll like, I'll leave food out and they'll, they like will think I'm not looking and they'll like, I'll leave food out and they'll, they like, we'll think I'm not looking and they'll walk around and like sniff a side of the couch next to the food and act like they're interested in something

totally ancillary. And then, you know, if you don't touch that and you're like, Oh, this wouldn't dream of it, boss. Never crossed my mind. Fucking great. They are funny, man. Dogs are hilarious. They're so, like, no matter how smart they are when they do certain things, they're so fucking stupid. I want a different head. I feel like we've got.

Yeah. Like, why do we have so many things in our existence that come down to binary decisions, right? Whether it's politics or sex or anything else, right? Like, why is it cat or dog? I'm tired of this. Like, I want to expand. We probably went through. Fish doesn't count.

Fish doesn't count. Fish is silly. Fish, yeah. Fish is silly. I love when people do that. I feel like your pet should be able to leave the house with you. I don't know. I just feel like you would never put your fish In a bowl and take it with you

It's a whole nother atmosphere that it lives in It's a whole nother world That it lives in you can't be a real pet If you're yeah Yeah he's in another fucking realm over there It'd be like owning an alien Owning an alien with tubes in the tank To feed him like neon and argon

gases. How are you going to have fun with that? I just think it's time to bring the raccoon into the fold where he belongs. Where the possum? No. The possum needs better PR right now.

They have five fingers. Possum needs an orthodontist. It really is scary. They have rabies. PR right now. Don't they have five fingers? Possum needs an orthodontist. Possum needs an orthodontist. It really is scary. Don't they have rabies? They don't have rabies. They probably do. You don't know that.

I think they're straight up immune to rabies. That's one of their superpowers. I thought that was armadillo. Pretty cool. Raccoons are cool. I'm pretty sure possums are immune to half like half a dozen of the major like diseases that are scary and they eat like an enormous amount of ticks every year like maybe their body weight and ticks or something stupid like that that's useful i like that yeah yeah so i live by the woods and i got a fuck ton of ticks around yeah those things are all good but

i want to get awesome they're hideous no they're fucking hideous i don't have like a tick problem taylor says he has ticks in his area. He might need some apostles. I have ticks personally, just covered. Raccoons have managed to fool people into thinking they have opposable thumbs.

They fool people. They grab stuff and it's like, look, I'm like you. I'm like a monkey. I'm a primate. It's awesome. I wear a little mask. And it's like, oh, look. You don't have that, you liar. That's why you have to go like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's close enough, though. It's close enough. I bet a raccoon could shoot a gun. I bet you could teach a raccoon could shoot a gun i bet you could teach a raccoon to shoot a gun maybe like i don't have any gun rights but like if i trained a raccoon to shoot a gun would that be legal like like could i could if the cop showed up and there was a gun there could i be like that's his gun it's his point of the record a monkey you're getting even closer

to that being actually oh god yeah a monkey could actually work the action and everything yeah a monkey could actually handle a fucking although i saw this thing with david attenborough the other day god rest his soul where he's got he gives an orangutan a fucking hammer and a nail it's such a simple thing but i i was laughing watching this orangutan like like first he drives a nail he's like clippity clip clickety clack that's how you drive a nail orangutan here you go he's your hammer now and it's just like oh he comes back a couple of years later they're crucifying people on cross what the fuck did we do he couldn't fucking figure it out he couldn't figure it out yeah yeah and you look at them and they

seem to have such something going on behind those eyeballs and what what freaks me out is when there's so many videos of apes monkeys chimps um working iphones and honestly scrolling stopping at stuff looking like they're they're interested or bored and then they go on to something else and you're like how what is he getting at there that's making him yeah is it just blobs of color or does he i think a picture of a person or another ape or something i think it's just so so intuitive that they're literally like digging for what they want. And the fact that it moves just makes sense to them. Oh, okay. Because it's like they can do really surface level stuff, but there's nothing behind.

There's no little man behind the curtain. Because I saw there was this one orangutan i think who had been watching villagers wash their clothes in the river and so now it would wash itself in the river like it's over there like okay is that what y'all do you know the cool kids do they get a little water and go like this all right but like at first glance it's like the orangutan has learned to wash itself because it's smelly it's like no no like it's just like it saw a human do this in the water, so now it's good. Have you seen the chimp short-term memory exercises? It's better than humans.

Boop, boop, boop. Really? They'll flash up, say, I don't know, numbers 1 through 12 or something on there. And then they go back and they reassign where all the numbers were scattered on the screen or whatever it is. The short-term memory blows ours away. It's very impressive. Wow. So they could play Simon, that Simon game

better than... Pull it. Tear your face off. Tear their thumbs, genitals, and nose off. It is cool. They do know to rip

those fucking opposable thumbs off of whatever they're fighting. They just know that's so important. They rip that off. They rip the genitals off so you can't reproduce. And then they try to kill you anyway by going with your face and your breathing apparatus. What a horrific

animal. Oh, they are just mean. That's us. That's us. So close. So close. Yeah, yeah. Before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful,

wonderful sponsors we have tonight. Fall is here, and we could all use a stiff breeze. That's right. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Guys, confidence can take you far in life. It can also help in the bedroom, especially when it's time to step up to the plate. That's where Blue Chew comes in.

Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost. You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The process is simple.

Sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, day or night so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The process is simple. Sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part is it's all done online. So no visit to the doctor's office, no awkward conversation, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Blue Chew's tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package. So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform,

Blue Chew can help. We've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew for free when you use promo code PKA at checkout. Just pay the five bucks in shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code PKA to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. Thank you so much, Blue Chew, for sponsoring the podcast. That's bluechew.com, promo code PKA

to receive your first month free. Just pay the $5 in shipping. You will love what it does for your dick. And while we're talking about things that will help your dick, lock and load. It's a tremendous... Actually, I'm going to wait for Anthony Cumia to get back because he needs to know about this also.

This episode of PKA is also brought to you by Lucy. Lucy Nicotine is a company founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers looking for a better and cleaner nicotine alternative. Finally, tobacco alternatives that don't suck. Researched and developed for three years to be made for people, not patients. Lucy has created a nicotine gum with four milligrams of nicotine that comes in three flavors, wintergreen, cinnamon, and pomegranate. Lucy also has a lozenge with four milligrams of nicotine in cherry ice flavor. Each and every flavor actually tastes great, and it's convenient and discreet. Their products can be enjoyed anywhere, on flights, at work, on the go,

or even in the gym. It's 2021. Get rid of your cigarettes, unplug the vape, throw out the dip, and get some Lucy nicotine gum or lozenges. This is the real deal. A subscription to Lucy comes direct to your door each month. It's so simple, and you don't have to leave your house because Lucy has delivery down. Painkiller already listeners, go to Lucy.co and use promo code PKA to get 20% off all products in your first order, including gum or lozenges. That's Lucy.co and use promo code PKA at checkout.

Also, we have to give this disclaimer. Warning, this product contains nicotine derived from tobacco. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. So head over to lucy.co and be sure to use promo code PKA to get 20% off all products in your first order. So check them out. Of course it has nicotine in it. That's why you get it.

Yep, that's the selling point. I have to warn you, this has what you bought it for. Yeah. And, uh, these two are dilly dallying. So we're going to hear from smart mouth as well.

All right. Everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath. That humid, awful smell keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave. Now just think of all the times you were the gross smelly one and the other person was thinking about getting away. You probably can't think of any examples.

That's because we rarely have an accurate read on our own breath odor. In other words, you could be walking around with trash mouth, not even realize you're grossing everybody out. That's why SmartMouth was invented. SmartMouth's clinically proven two-liquid formula combines to instantly eliminate bad breath and prevent it from coming back all day long. Rinse once in the morning for all-day clean breath and once before bed to prevent morning breath

just two uses a day and you'll never have bad breath guaranteed. Whether the boardroom or the bedroom, having confidence in your breath spells success. So go to smartmouth.com slash pka now for a free coupon. You can find SmartMouth products in the oral health aisle at Walgreens, CVS, Target, Rite Aid, Amazon, Walmart, or wherever you shop. Once again, that is smartmouth.com slash PKA for your coupon. So check them out. Check them out. All right, Anthony. We are about to advertise a product that we developed.

All mostly by ourself. Derek had a good way. And this episode of PKA, like all episodes of PKA from here on out, is brought to you by lock and load a volume enhancing formula every time you come you want to come like a champion because believe it or not when women are talking they're gossiping they're over over their coffee over their wine you know what i really liked timmy he was such a kind guy but then he busted and it was like it was like nothing it was like, it was like nothing. It was like a,

it was like a puff of smoke coming out of his dickhead. And I don't know, does, is he into me? You know, if he was into me, he would, he would make big loads. And then, and this is what your, this is what your moms are talking about. So what you need to do is get lock and load. The link is below. It's going to make your cum insane. You are going to bust so much. And add to that, we've been hitting so much on the amount you're busting.

We need to stress again, these are going to be beautiful pearlescent loads. It's not going to be watery. It's going to be pearlescent. It's going to be wonderful. And also, it's going to support your libido and improve your blood flow. Who doesn't want improved blood flow when you're fucking? It's very important. So check out Lock and Load.

Women will – it's going to give them so much penis envy because now they've been thinking the whole time, ooh, I can have multiple orgasms. This guy can only have one. Not anymore. They're going to be damned. His orgasm seems so intense. I wish I could take Lock and Load. And maybe we can. Maybe we'll make one for... Do you have any guarantees to make about the product? Taylor, have you read the reviews on the Gorilla Mind

website? I have not read a single review. I would like hard clad guarantees that you personally back up. Give me the floor for a moment. These reviews are fantastic. Some awesome stuff I found out from PKA. I started to notice a volume increase on my second day, but it comes out with so much volume and speed, I dented my sheetrock. Will love it. We'll play again. Big load for a big boy.

Look at this. These reviews. So I bought this for the blood flow support. Another valid reason to get it. I noticed after 30 minutes combined with the Gorilla AM and workout, I get this crazy vascularity pump and muscle contraction. I looked so jacked and cracked up. I freaking love this.

I would recommend workout at home. Now it kind of goes off the rails, but you might get some asking you about your third leg. Because it's going to make your blood flow so good. Your dick's going to look great. This stuff gave me the biggest load of my lifetime. Like mama always says, big load for a big boy. This is a different guy. Noticeable volume increase.

Completely soaked my girlfriend. Appears to work on the first day. That's great. Look at all these wonderful reviews. This one, bought this as a longtime PKA fan as a token of them delivering on the idea what i did not expect was for the product to actually work you'll be leaking pre-cum like a faucet in a few days anyway there is no practical purpose for this other other than to surprise your special friend with a dubiously large lung. But it deserves that purposefully

extremely well. It's like take five capsules with the fat, take another four capsules with the fat in the evening. Do not exceed nine capsules in a 24-hour period. The phrasing is so severe. I think he's concerned that she might drown. If you take ten

of these, your girlfriend could drown. This guy, look at that. He wanted to be Spider-Man for Halloween. Ten out of ten, your girlfriend could drown. This guy, look at that. He wanted to be Spider-Man for Halloween. 10 out of 10, he's throwing ropes. I'm also noticing a pretty good pump from my web slinger in the bedroom. This is great. Family game night has never been so fun.

A lot of excellent reviews here. Thank you, Matthew, for that. And so covered my GF's entire face and come see this is what it's a real product that you've got and it's gonna make it you know it made me kyle and woody and all of these fine gentlemen come like rock stars so uh don't don't sell yourself short there's a what's that socrates quote where he's like a man. Wait, wait, I can't imagine what Socrates can say. OK, well, here's we'll watch this. Socrates, no man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable

and the same thing applies to come and it would be a shame for you to grow old without seeing truly the sort of volume you can produce down there if i remember right kyle and taylor started going on the internet and doing research to develop a formula that makes you come more independently and when one mentioned it to the other they were like oh i've been on this same mission and they collaborated built the formula over the course of like a year year and a half then we synced up with the bio expert who does this for a living he was able to get it started off as like 18 pills or something and then a pills and a liquid combined.

He took his knowledge, got it down into just nine pills taken twice a day, so five and four. And now you can surprise your girlfriend. It's baffling. You're going to love it, folks. Yeah. It's going to kick in sooner than you think. She's going to think she's better at sex. That's what I'm talking about. My wife suddenly thought that after like 30 years, she turned the corner and got just,

just got twice as good. Kyle, you had something to say. I was going to say, use a code. I think you get 10% off, right? Yeah.

Oh yeah. The code works on other stuff too. Like you can buy whatever your Turkish drone or whatever else is on the site. Oh shit. Do that. Yeah. Do that.

Anything else you want on the gorillailla Mind website, check it out and use our code for it. It's selling like hotcakes. It is. We did sell like 10,000 bottles or something. It's an outrageous amount. It's really moving. I thought that Derek

made a business mistake when he put 10,000 bottles in the second order. My numbers, if they're not right, they're close. You got put 10,000 bottles in the second order. My numbers, if they're not right, they're close. He got 1,000 bottle order and then right behind that came a 10,000 bottle order. Like the Jonas Salk of jizz. This is going to last until 2040.

We're in the jizz biz. We're in the jizz biz. The jizz biz. We are. That should be our website. Lock and load.jizz. I love it. That should be our website. Lockandload.chiz. I love it. That's a good one. Yeah, I'm very proud of it. I've told all my family members

about it. I haven't told any of my family about it yet. My dad is very excited. You shouldn't tell him. You should just show him. Oh, he knows. It's time for you to become the true alpha of the family kyle yeah and then we did our uh our hangout with our fans you know um a couple days ago at least

for the few of them and a ton of them were like holding up bottles of this nonsense they all have it got a hit on your hands on your hands. We honestly do and it's hilarious. It's really fun. I'm so proud of it. I'm proud of it because it actually works. It's pretty fucking cool. You're genuinely

all seriousness. You take this for a couple weeks. We say a couple weeks because that's when it will hit your maximum efficacy. Some people are saying it happens way sooner but you're going to surprise yourself like it's not going to be like did i come a little more maybe kind of is this a placebo like no you you're it will be very evident on the face of your lover anyway check out all of our sponsors below uh especially lock and load wonderful wonderful sponsor oh i'm so happy that we did that i know i know i am too we need to think of new ideas new ideas for that's so funny like we just release it and i'll think of another thing

um i've i've already got one i've got the second uh thing i told derrick uh when we first started on this i was like if the lock and load does well i've got the second uh product already in mind the flavor enhancer it's the flavor enhancer yes yep and that's going to help everyone too. We're saving marriages. My God. Lightly. The volume and the flavor. We're creating marriage. Crazy.

We can change the color. Well, you probably shouldn't do that. Girls who might previously be like, I can't sign up for this for life are like absolutely slurping it down. Slurping it down by the gulp full. So check it out. I'm not having fun anymore.

All right, Kyle. So yeah. You having fun anymore all right yeah it actually works uh it's pretty cool so support the show and uh while you're over there check out any of uh derek's other fine products and uh yeah these are these are code yep by the way tilkk is coming 2023. I'm almost positive that's illegal. We can't sell other women's breast milk. They did it in Mad Max. It's all fine. Isn't it fucked up? I think to sell

it would be some kind of biohazard. Probably. I don't think you'd be able to sell anyone else's bodily fluids. Can you give it away? Yeah, we give it away. A donation is appreciated. Don't you love shit like that, where it's like,

yeah, it's actually a free blowjob here at the car wash. We appreciate any donations, and you can get the diamond plus one. Yeah, you're about to get a huge donation right in your mouth, bitch. Because of locking me up.

Are there places that are like give as much as you feel comfortable talking to people in the car wash like that? No, they're not going to take good care of your car. This guy's telling me he's going to come all over me if I don't detail his car correctly. So, Kyle, I know you're ecstatic over your Braves, one and one in the World Series.

They dominated the first game 6-2, then got fucked the second game 7-2, but that's so close it's anyone's game. Are you still holding back hope? Yeah, I'm pretty jazzed, I guess. I was just really happy to beat the Dodgers. It's great. It's cool to be in the World Series. I hope they win. It's wild. Like we were saying earlier in the week, it's a cool week for Georgia athletics, I guess, with the Bulldogs being number one in the country and the Braves

in the series. It's been a good week. If you have to pick one, do you pick the Braves winning the World Series or Georgia winning the championship? Oh. You only get one. Georgia. It's Georgia winning the championship. Really? I would have guessed World Series. Really? I would have guessed the football.

I remember very well 1995 winning the World Series. I watched those games. I was like nine, something like that. I remember i remember very well i watched the parade in school we didn't have class we watched the parade um so uh i i remember the last time we won that i remember like playing the twins a little bit a couple years before uh for the series but so uh but i've never seen the uh the the bulldogs win a championship so that'd be cool yeah that would be i haven't seen them win one either yeah i don't think uh many people have

i don't know you'd have to google it's probably 70s or 80s or something i haven't been following anything but this hockey story with the chicago blackhks. Dude, that's so wild. It's insane. So much more. So to lay the stage for people. So basically 2009 to 2010, that season, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup for the first time in so many goddamn years. They were known as a joke of a franchise.

They weren't even on TV in the late 90s, early 2000s because their owner didn't want to pay some fee. And during that uh that run there was a video coach for the chicago blackhawks and there was a black ace brought up to the team which is like a minor league player who gets to come up and at least practice he didn't play in the series but he practiced with the team and during that run i think like after the western conference finals so before before the Stanley Cup series, this video coach enticed, coaxed this young 20-year-old player

up into his apartment and then started forcing the guy to watch pornography with him. And he said he tried to keep reaching on and grabbing him and reaching his hand and grabbing his junk. And eventually the coach, and while he's doing this, the coach has a novelty, one of those little baseball bats. You can get it at a Yankees game or a Cardinals game. And he's saying, you're going to let me suck your dick or you will never play in the NHL. You'll never be in the NHL.

I thought Hunter Biden was cool. This guy is an absolute ghoul and a demon of a person he like and like what made this like well it's already fucked up and i'll get to it in a bit and they so he coerces and sexually assaults this guy under the guise of you'll never play in this league unless you do this and then the guy brings it to the attention of some of the front office for the Chicago Blackhawks. And they apparently had a meeting like the GM, the assistant GM, Joel Quinville, the coach, a couple other guys. The head of the NHL Players Association knew about it. And they all had a talk.

And apparently the vibe at that talk was like, well, the Blackhawks are about to be in the Stanley Cup. Like, we can't. Oh, yeah. This will throw off the team vibe and the team energy like we don't want to bring any attention to it and it was obvious all this shit happened because as soon as that season was over you know video coach on a stanley cup winning team you tend to keep people around to do that immediately the apparently the the hawks higher up brass was like all right brad aldrich the the rapist was like you can either submit to an investigation or you can resign and he resigns he resigns and this whole time uh what's his name kyle beach uh the guy who had this done to him he came out on espn last night and gave like a half hour interview about all this this whole time this guy kyle beach is being buried in the minors you know they're not bringing him up and i didn't think anything of that until i did

more research there are a hundred articles from 2010 to now being like kyle beach 11th overall in the first round is he the biggest bust of all time in chicago picks and it's like no he got molested by a fucking coach and then they buried him and like kept him away from stuff. And so I think he has like a case of like, yeah, you guys fucking ruined my career. I had, he's a big guy who had a physical presence on the ice. He would have been a good NHL player.

A lot of people speculate, but after that guy, Kyle, that guy, Brad Aldrich, who left, who did the molesting, he got a,

I think it was, I think it was more of like a boilerplate letter of recommendation from the blackhawks organization and then he went and worked with 16 year olds and molested a 16 year old jeez and that's all following this and this whole time like for years and years and years the making it hard to make jokes now yeah it's a it's a wild story and like and the blackhawks for years and years are like denying this and saying this guy kyle beach he's a lot he's a liar this is this is nonsense like he's just he's just bitter because he didn't he didn't crack the lineup he's just bitter about it and now there's a huge

investigation by an independent firm that made 107 page document laying out all of this like i've only read excerpts because it's really dense and like everything this guy was claiming is true a lot of coaches are getting caught in lies gms are getting caught in lies where they're like i didn't hear about this at all until this past july and then it's like okay well here are records that you guys had held a specific meeting about this where you said it's not worth bringing up right now because you know the team's doing so well and we don't want to throw a wrench in that so it's pretty ridiculous in up right now because you know the team's doing so well and we don't want to throw a wrench in that so it's pretty ridiculous in that way uh a couple of the players on the

blackhawks from 2010 who are no longer in the league came out and they're like oh yeah everybody knew about this everybody knew there were jokes being made about it in the locker room uh in in like making fun of him and stuff like calling calling him gay. Is he the only one that got his dick sucked? Jesus. Well, apparently, I'm sure that the other people were doing it, but this guy, Aldrich, he did it to this guy,

and he did it to a 16-year-old. And the guy, Kyle Beach, apparently only started hitting back more once he heard about that 16-year-old getting molested and being like... And it's like a fucking heartbreaking interview on ESPN. He's like crying at times. He's like,

like I was like, I, and I would go and I talked to someone and like, you know, they're the GM or they outrank me. And I went to a, he went to a doc, one of the docs for the team.

And he's like, and I even went to doc whoever. And he told me it was my fault for putting myself in that position. And so i felt like i was wrong for going i felt like i was wrong for going to his apartment and he's like oh it destroyed my career i turned to drugs i turned to alcohol i was never like i was never like that before like this guy 11 like i'm sure you know going 11th overall in a draft is very you're going to have a career at least somewhere in the nhl they're not going to

bury you in the minors so like now uh joel quinville who was the coach of the blackhawks at the time he's currently the coach of the florida panthers and so i don't know if he's going to resign i don't know if the nhl can even fire him for something he did in another organization right now they're seven and i don't want to ruin the team chemistry by firing the coach also though the panthers have been hot shit under him in previous years and the panthers lineup this year is fucking outrageously good so even if they replace them they're still going to be a dominating team so like i don't really buy that and oh this guy chevy i don't know his full name but he was the assistant gm at the time now he's the big gm of the winnipeg jets and they're calling for him to step down but there's like a bunch of i was watching youtube videos about it there's like a bunch of like legalese of like

you can't you can't fire someone who's working for a different organization now or something like i don't know but gary bettman the commissioner of the nhl is met with joel quinnville today to discuss stuff, but I still haven't seen news that he's fired or anything. How are there no criminal charges? I don't know. I don't know why there aren't any criminal charges. There's no idea.

How long ago was it? 2010. 11 years. I wonder if it's too long. He's 20 at the time. He's 31 now. Yeah, it sounds like... I don't know what crime that would be when you

force someone to let you suck their dick while holding a rally bat. But he also ejaculated on the guy, on the player. He came on Kyle Beach, the player. Was it a lot?

Does he need any help? Believe it or not. You know, I've heard some of a product. Believe it or not, that was not elucidated in the report. From now on, we need to look for any semen-related news stories

every week and just every time segue right in. Let's find a positive one. A man with huge load saves dogs. Wow. I don't know how that would work, but preferably not something with sexual assault. I imagine this dog being stuck at the bottom of a tunnel

and he just fills up the tunnel until the dog can swim free. That's possible. The block swim free. That's possible. The block and loan. Nothing's impossible. This sounds like an easy defense of like it was consensual. It was whatever. It's hard to kind of prove

the guy goes up to the apartment. It is a little sketch because he's asked for help with all the doctors and other coaches and GMs and they all kind of turned him away. He went to the head of the nhl player association which is supposed to like those are the people like negotiating on your behalf for better contracts for more time off like their entire job is to defend players and this guy like something for like told like assured

kyle beach like we're gonna look into this's going to be a full investigation. And then just he lied about it. Never did anything. Never moved forward with it. And so it's all crumbling down right now around the Black Hawks organization. And they only got fined $2 million so far for it. The New Jersey Devils got fined $3 million for

cap circumvention. What was the fine for? What did they actually call it i don't i don't even know i don't know yeah do they get fined for the blow job or for when he came on right right i think it's for lying about it and covering it up actively or something like that and so they're like having talks like i don't know what's going to come of it, but it's wild. This guy, Coach Quinville, was first ballot Hall of Fame coach, well-respected.

Everyone who was a fan of any team was like, I wish Coach Q was coaching our team. He turned that Blackhawks organization into a dynasty. Three cups in six years? Nobody's done that in the modern era. And now it's like, well, should we stamp his name off the cup? Should we make him ineligible for the Hall of Fame because he was covering up sex stuff?

Yeah, that's what... Is it Paterno for the... Yeah, yeah. He didn't do it. He just knew about it and covered it. It's a very... I was about to bring him up. Same situation. Yeah, Or a very similar situation.

It seems like this NHL one has a lot more tendrils than the Paterno one. But... Yeah, there's a similar sort of like everybody knew and everybody just kind of looked the other way. Yeah, yeah. But it... What was the player's name? Kyle Beach?

Kyle Beach really has, it's seemingly the paper trail, like talking to the Players Association, the doctors, the GM. I don't know who I left out. But, man, he did everything he could to seek help. He'll probably offer them an NDA and a giant settlement, and that'll be that. But it better be really giant,

because it seems like he might have had like a 75 million dollar playing right right it would have to be pretty big yeah they'd have to be like i don't even know what they would do like okay well now the chicago organization has to pay him 10 million a year for the next 10 years or six years something like that yeah for like lost revenue because life changing money like it i look at i first heard about the story i thought it was like some seventh rounder picked 280th overall like no 11th overall and this guy like even worse like hearing him talk about like how miserable he's been like you know you know that like for years he had to answer questions like wow you were part of the blackhawks organization that's so cool that's so awesome he's like yeah yeah it's really great and he's talking about how his whole

life is derailed like nothing has gone the way it was supposed to like he was a legit talent and and to see article after article being written of like biggest chicago busts in all history and it's like number one kyle Is this another lock and load reference with that biggie bust? Different context. He walks around the streets to see somebody with a Blackhawks jersey just starts jerking off on him.

Fuck you. That's my plan to say, fuck you. Well, it doesn't help that I'm a fan of St. Louis Blues. And so all the punishments that come down on the Chicago Blackhawks, I'm like, yeah, it should be harsher'm a fan of St. Louis Blues. And so like all the punishments that come out of Chicago Blackhawks, I'm like, yeah, it should be harsher even. They should have to give us their good players. As punishment, Patrick Kane has to play for St. Louis for free.

And their next two draft picks. Yeah, and the next two draft picks. And like, I just, I'm curious what sort of punishment they're going to mete out for this. It's interesting to watch. I hope it doesn't just get swept under and that he still is allowed to do all this shit. The head of the GM for Chicago already stepped down. They're expecting the GM of Winnipeg to maybe step down.

But Coach Q has no plans to step down, clearly. He coached a game last night during this interview. He was like, it was outrageous. He was behind the bench on the Florida Panthers being like, power play, power play two. What if they had a live bubble during the interview? Like him coaching, like in a little bubble during the interview in the corner. Yeah, and the guy even addressed him.

The interviewer did a tremendous job, and he's like, what would you say to someone like Coach Quinville who said he had no knowledge of this? And like Kyle very like vehemently was like, that's a lie. I know for a fact every single person knew about that. word with their names he's like i don't have their phone numbers i don't know them they were like on like the real black hawk squad beach at the time very young on the like the minor league the rockford ice hogs whatever their team is like so there's no reason for those guys to speak up at all like they don't they're not friends they don't know each other but they both just came out their careers over they don't work in the nhl so they really they truly are no skin in the game they're like oh yeah that's totally true I remember that people were making jokes. So it's, it's wild to see.

And, and the player, the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks came out and like gave such a tone deaf response for like, he could, he couldn't have done a worse job. Like he was like, I, you know, things could have been handled differently. It was a unfortunate thing and it probably could have been handled differently. Stan Bowman, the GM and it probably could have been handled differently. Stan Bowman, the GM of our team, is a great man, and he's helped my career a huge amount.

Is he the son of Scotty Bowman? He is, yeah. Where's the rapey guy now? Now he is, I think he is. He's teaching children to play hockey. I think he went to prison for a little under is like on or maybe he's off probation now he did go to jail for for molesting that 16 year old oh okay yeah so this guy's a real piece of shit but anyway it's a really interesting sports story you never expect this kind of thing to to come like the one of the i had so many like

cum references in there right i could barely let me out past like uh and it's funny like seeing like the the really people, quote unquote, staying quiet. And then there's a coach who doesn't have a job right now named John Tortorella, who's known for being a fucking maniac. He's one of the guys. He tried to fight the entire Calgary Flames team during an intermission because he didn't like one of their hits on his players. So he ran. You're not allowed to go to the other team's locker room. But there's a video of him like, you fucking assholes.

He's trying to break into another professional team and even this guy he's like giving an interview and he's like it's just fucking gutless like nobody did anything like really yeah it's just disgusting yeah i like gutless is it like not one person had the morality to to stop to say you know hey guys shouldn't we do the right thing? No one thought that. They all thought, let's get WC. Let's get the Stanley Cup. How would it have cost them to win?

Joe Quinville has just been fired. Oh, well, shit. He's out. He may have stepped down. He may have stepped down. We don't know. Small difference. Oh, they might hire the guy i was just talking about john tortorello man that was tortorello ever win it seems like he always improves the team but doesn't win cups am i wrong yeah yeah that's that's one of those coaches were

like if you want to lose the stanley cup he's your guy he's a he's a good coach but like he never takes him the final leg like he'll get good, and then they'll stop buying into his system because they're not good enough. Or they hate him. Or they probably do hate him at some point. Lots of coaches get that, not just in hockey. Who are some hated coaches who were good? There were some in football, right?

Was John Madden liked? Am I misremembering that he was a mean guy when he was a coach and he turned friendly when he was an announcer? I think I remember that too. Is it Bobby Knight? Bobby Knight, the Indiana guy. That's the guy everybody fucking hated and still won a lot of games.

Everybody hated that guy. It seemed like his players were afraid of him. I mean, I guess, well, college fans like any fucking thing. Why would you send your kid to him if you had another option? Right? Because he makes winners, god damn it.

Yeah. I swear to that. Yeah. Man, he threw a lot of chairs. Did he throw more than one? I know the one. Oh, he was a bit of a chair thrower. He threw them like shuriken. Like a shuriken?

Jesus, head coaching record 902 and 371.709 win percent. That's outrageously good. He was doing something, right? I guess. You know that one time he was in the locker room, and he went into the bathroom, and he took a shit and wiped his ass, and he came back with the shit in his hands, and he went to the bathroom and wiped... He took a shit and wiped his ass and he came back with the shit in his hands and he showed the players. He's like,

this is you. This is how you're playing around. That's brutal. This is you. This is you. You're shit. You're shit. This is what you're playing like. I remember my mom told me that when I was like 12. She said you're shit? When I was like 12. Yeah, she went and wiped her ass and showed it to was like 12. She said you're shit? When I was like 12.

Yeah, she went and wiped her ass and showed it to me. She was like, you're shit. You're fucking shit. No, she told me that Bobby Knight story. And I just remember, because I guess she watched basketball or whatever. And I just remember thinking, is that what athletics are like at some level? Will there just be a lot of poop? Will there just be a lot of poop? Billy Martin was pretty hated on the Yankees for a while when he was the head of the Yankees years ago.

He wound up dying from hitting a tree drunk. So UNC is one of the better. UNC and Duke are the two top basketball teams in my area in college. And every so often UNC has an awful season, like a losing record. And I somehow get a charge out of it when they get beat by a team where every single player on that other team couldn't make UNC's team. Not a single one of them would have been recruited by the great UNC. They're one of those schools that seems to get top choice,

the Georgias, Alabama's of football. UNC is a legendary program who gets people that they go after. And when they lose to a bunch of their rejects, I get a charge out of it. I like it. You like that?

Kyle, get over your high effort costume. I tried so hard. Around the house around the house guy all right yeah yeah things around the house man hours include high stress levels and rummaging through closets yeah you do look amazing as Billie Eilish Yeah, he's a pretty good Billie Eilish And I like the sunglasses

It's just like, well this is another thing I was like, where are my sunglasses? They're integral It's just your everyday wear So is that a cape you're wearing? Yeah, I've got my apocalypse cloak You know Okay Your apocalypse cloak. You know?

Okay. Your apocalypse cloak. Is that a Princess Bride reference? I had never heard apocalypse cloak. Oh, I thought it was a Marvel thing. Okay. I thought it was red because of the red on the headphones. I couldn't tell.

But it's just totally black. Do you have any big plans to dress up this year, Anthony? I know it's one of your big things. No, we used to do Halloween parties at my house, and they were thematic. A lot of times, we'd have everybody come over and dress up a theme thing, but

I'm in a fucking apartment. What am I going to trick or treat? I'm like... fucking apartment. What am I going to trick or treat? I'm like, so, just to be clear, three days from now, if I just walk around the neighborhood, everyone gives me candy. I mean, if I have the costume already. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. Don't they have to? They're contractually bound, practically. Not if you're almost a 50-year-old man. I mean, if you's like they're contractually bound. Not if you're almost a 50-year-old man. I mean, if you act like you're a little off, they'll give you candy. A little off. Act like I'm not neurotypical and just start telling dead jokes. I think just going up there, people probably would just want to not have a problem.

You know? Go up there, start a conversation with them, and then shush them a couple times and they'll start in your in your basket right away i don't i don't remember that nascar guy open carrying walking around with a gun it's not brandishing it's part of my costume it's an exception on Halloween I do think I could just walk around in the neighborhood not far from me and get free candy I don't think they'll judge me by it

well they will definitely judge me but they will not give me candy yeah you'll be a dinner party topic when you leave if they're like having something is there something off with this just make it imagine a couple's costume like Alec baldwin and a gunshot victim oh yeah i bet that happens there's gonna be someone dressed like a cowboy and then somebody else with the clothes on

and a gunshot headset right what was yeah yeah yeah headset or something uh yeah i mean it was only like eight years ago that Halloween was effectively like, what's the most offensive thing I can dress up as? Like, what's the most off color joke? I'll never forget being at a girlfriend's friend's Halloween party and the guy showing up as Kanye West. A white man showed up as Kanye West. Oh, that'll do it. a white man showed up with kanye west oh that'll do it and and he had those he had those plastic sunglasses that that don't have like frames they've just got like plastic and like like like like like like slices taken out of them or whatever yeah little louvers he he was in full blackface oh my god and she was as kim kardashian with like this ridiculous like tits and ass like thing also

in blackface and she had i think i think maybe she's not even black i well yeah but she's darker than this girl she's not even black you're just taking oh my god i don't want to leave him out here by himself i'll join him but i think she had a little baby or something. She had like a little black baby because I think Kim Kardashian just had a baby at the time. And they were just being super obnoxious. That's the most offensive costume I've ever seen. It's 25 years ago, but it seemed like every adult woman was Monica Lewinsky in a blue dress. Oh, God, yes.

Yeah. That was a big one. I feel bad for her now like at the time at the time I guess I just wasn't aware that people in the public like that were real people you know three different feelings and shit they're fucking joke right you're just

right yeah Monica you know you're not gonna hear it yeah that's yeah right like I'm sure none of those jokes got back to Monica she's unaware that the whole world knows about her and her blue dress and whatever. So I was totally insensitive

to it. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Every time someone wore the blue dress with the stain. But that must have been very hurtful to her. Yeah. And she was young. What was she, 20? Yeah, yeah. Really?

Right for the picking i mean knew how he liked him young and vulnerable he just fucking yeah he's the goddamn president the most powerful person arguably in in the world and then there's a 20 year old intern he fucks around with her and the guy is still revered and looked at by many people as this amazing guy. It's so fucked up. He did balance the budget. It's the economy, stupid. Remember? Yeah, think of the dot-com days.

Stephanopoulos' line. But now we've learned they all do it. Oh, Carvel? Oh, right, right, Carvel. Yeah, they were all on his campaign. Shut up! If you had a raccoon,

none of this would be happening. I know, they're very quiet. He'd be unplugging his mic and shit. That's what a raccoon would do. Trying to wash your mouse or something like that. Getting everything wet and shitty. How terrifying would it be if you saw your raccoon

with a tool of any kind? I was going to say a knife, but if I saw one with a fucking pair of scissors, I'd shit myself. Like an animal with a tool? I just realized how frightening an animal with a tool is. That's the only advantage we have, is we know how to use tools. If a raccoon wants to fuck you up, you're catching

a few. We're bigger, but they're quick. A few what? Bites? A few bites, a few slashes, whatever their method is. I don't know. They have nails on the end of those little fingers. I guess. They give you some little scritches. I saw a chimp. I saw a video of a chimp

with a machete recently. They were like, this is horrifying. It was using it to hack up another chimp group. It figured out how to use... I swear, look it up,

but I don't know. CGI is so good now. I know, but I don't think it was 50 50 yeah yeah yeah that's you know these days you don't know what to believe but um it seemed to be a legitimate news source and video but um it's just hacking something apart yeah i'm looking at it right now he crazy right something he's failing at is he's slamming it with the broad side down yeah yeah he doesn't quite know how to use it but you know hey he's got a one in four chance of hitting you right with it you know i would want those odds and like that

swing even flat face that's gonna be a stunner. The chip swing. They're so strong. They're jacked. They are jacked. That's like... They gave him the machete. He didn't even find it. He didn't even make it himself.

This doesn't seem like it was an error at all. They gave him the machete to see what he would do with it. He's almost hurting himself. what he would do with it. Jesus. He's almost hurting himself. He's learning to throw it. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't give an animal a tool. Don't do that. No. And then they found like some hacked up thing. And I guess they assumed that the chimp had hacked him up with a machete. He likes it though. He puts it down.

He throws it. Yeah. This is the guy that kills me every time in call of duty like really he gets the finishing move on me i'm all pissed off i love if you look at this fucking race i love the suit too but kyle if you look at that video I just sent at 34 seconds, you can see that chimp with the machete was just beating some animal to death. Yeah. Beating a carcass on the jungle floor. And it's just a pile of goo. All right.

So let me just say this. First of all, this video says in the bottom left, 20th Century Fox Research Library. Oh, okay. And the YouTube channel is called Apes Will Rise. Tell me when you get to the problem. And if you'd like to purchase tickets from a theater, you can apparently, according to the description, you can go to Fandango. Oh, see?

Maybe. Oh, see? Maybe. Oh, come on, cats. No, but that's to watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It's not to watch this fucking Indian movie where they give a guy a knife. Yeah, and that has nothing to do with this actual smart ape, which has indeed learned to use a machete. I mean, he learned to swing it. You've seen the video.

You talked about the video with the orangutan where they gave it a nail and a hammer, and he just lays the nail on top of the board and then just kind of sloppily hits around it. The nail's laying on its side, and he's hitting. He's using the side of the hammer to, like, slap it. He's straightening out a bent nail. Yeah. Like, he understands hit nail or at least put nail down and then hit wood

with hammer. He's got that. But every other finer, minute thing about that concept is just fucking magic to him. But how is that... But you believe that was an orangutan doing that?

What this chimp is doing with the machete isn't any more impressive than that. It's just using a tool incorrectly. I believe that chimp's doing that because that chimp is a professional movie chimp because they are making a commercial in that video for a movie, a bad commercial at that. But why?

Do you think... So we'll watch Planet of the Apes! A movie came out five years ago. I couldn't imagine a chimp hitting... I couldn't imagine a chimp hitting its finger with a nail.

Like how mad he'd be if he could finally figure out that you gotta put it down and then tap it a little and he fucking hits his finger i mean a pissed off chimp like that yeah my god throwing things at you oh yeah this is this is really yelling at you this is definitely it's real okay okay what's unbelievable about it it's not even shot well you can make a commercial out of this what's it for a gored up animal in the middle of the woods? You know, you're absolutely right. That's real. Thank you.

I see it now. I see it now. I was driving home last weekend, and I made a fantastic purchasing decision. I bought a Smith & Wesson axe and throwing knife combination. Holy shit, that's awesome. This is very smart. I haven't even opened it yet.

By the way, this is a 50-year-old man here wearing the jumpsuit with the throwing knives. I mean, stick one of those right in that door behind you. Oh, man. I bet I'll go right through that. How many do you get? You get three axes, or axe eyes, we call them in the business, and three throwing knives. They're called axons.

Wow. I'd like to see a chimp get his hands on one of those. Yeah, right? Kyle just called it fake. Huh? Oh, yeah. Are they sharp? No.

If you lob it at someone's head, they're probably going to do some damage. Yeah, they have more heft to them. Can you juggle? No. They're smaller than I thought they would be. Maybe I'll learn with these. It also came with throwing knives.

How much did this cost? $50. Hell of a deal. There's no better way to spend $50. Less than $10 an item. That's a very economical way to look at it. Yes.

Check these out. Oh, shit. Get her to hold the target. Get Jackie to hold the target. Not terrible. That's terrible. What's that cut in the middle for? Say that again?

What's the cut out in the middle? Lighten it up a bit. I don't know. Yeah, then you use less steel and you can charge $8 a knife. We get one free knife for every 16 days because we cut the notches out.

That's probably what it is. I imagine it'd be way harder to throw those knives than the axes. I went to this outdoor store thinking they would have camping stuff. Then when I saw the throwing knives and axes, I went to this outdoor store thinking they would have camping stuff. And then when I saw the throwing knives and axes, I was like, well, Taylor has a bow and arrow.

So I need a thing. So now I'm the throwing knife guy. Oh, man. We talked about becoming guys like that. I'm Zippo guy. Yeah, I've always got one. Clicking it open and closing it. Crazy Zippo guy. Yeah, I've always got one. Clicking it open and closing it. Crazy Zippo guy.

I had to keep smoking again, but it was worth it. Who were the other guys we thought? Oh, toothpick guy. And then flips. This is with toothpick guy. Flips a coin in public and catches it guy. Oh, yeah. You're in a suit suit.

There's a There's a butterfly knife guy Butterfly knife guy Oh that's awesome You gotta pick one of those Kyle Cause throwing knife and I have a coin here so I took that There's not many of those But you gotta be like

How many Monopoly pieces are there like 6 or 8 Like how many guys there are It's about the same. How many guys there are? There's old boot guy. There's thimble guy. Not that. God.

I don't know if I'd have the self-control to open that package of knives and axes and not lay one right into that door behind you. I feel like you have to open it on your shoulder. Write it off on your text. This would be the perfect time. This would be the perfect time

for an intruder to bust it. Can you imagine the greatest, the most viewed YouTube video of all time would be Woody wearing that fucking jumpsuit and he'd just start throwing them

he doesn't know how to throw knives but hey eventually like one in a million shot and he's just nailing this guy to the wall one in six I think slow down I'm new and then and then

and like Woody thinks of a quip real quick he looks back at the camera and he's like stick and like what he thinks of a quip real quick. He looks, looks back at the camera and he's like, stick around. I'll be right back. I think he'll get the point. Oh my God. As you've just fucking harmlessly throw it flat side into his chest as he's firing at you.

Thanks. I didn't come with a knife, but well, I got, I stole all their TVs and I got a nice with a knife. Well, I stole all their TVs and I got a nice throwing knife set. NASCAR knife thrower guy beats out Charlie bit my finger this week.

And Kyle would sit there and go, this is fake. This isn't real. What, you think really? This is so fake. We got to call them out when they're actually fake remember the remember that miniature giraffe that i convinced wings that was it was real and he could get one oh my god they had

this commercial like maybe a youtube commercial this is like 12 years ago or something maybe and they had these miniature giraffes and i mean tiny like the size of a cat but it was a full-size giraffe and if you think about that that'd be a cool fucking pet you'd like awesome it probably poops read it with a tabby and uh yeah it probably poops and it looks like bb's or something like a giraffe that size would be such a cool little motherfucker and like so they had this like silly commercial and it was two pronged i don't remember what they're advertising it's neither here nor there but they had the tiny giraffes and then they had this link you could go to that was like a 24 7 live stream of the miniature giraffe refuge

and they just had what they had was like 45 minutes of cgi that looped very, very well of a giraffe living in an enclosure. And we convinced my friend that not only were they real, but you could get one for a nice little sum of money. And he was just like, oh, that's just cool as fuck. Those are so cute.

Wow. Wow, science. Was the giraffe in the enclosure, was there nothing that gave it scale around it? No, there was nothing that gave it scale. It was CGI. It was really good CGI. Oh, okay.

And it looked real enough. But, you know, if you sit there for a moment, just like with that monkey with the machete there, you'll be like right ah wait a minute something's wrong here I mean some people would know that other people wouldn't it's this is not at all

like the monkey with the machete video yeah this is this is so obviously I just linked the video at 24 seconds you can see the giraffe it is the fakest giraffe I've ever seen no he looks pretty good you just know that giraffes aren't that size look at the pillow move you would be uh that thing would be so delicate yeah you know you can't inadvertently like if you step on your

dog or something accidentally you're fine that, oh, there goes a few hundred thousand dollars. Yeah. I think the giraffe for 10 grand. Am I right, Kyle? Is that right? Yeah, maybe so. And also, like, this isn't what we showed him, I don't think. Oh, it's really cool when he kisses it.

What we were actually showing him was this, like, live stream where it was like a stable. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, like, a stable yeah yeah i was gonna say like a tiger king situation where they're you know running around and right it's like here we are on mount chichi kaka with the miniature giraffe refuge there are only eight in the world and it was like holy shit they do look pretty fucking real they kind of look real right now i'm almost sold that there are many giraffes. But he was completely sold. It was fucking gold. It was so fun.

Did Tiger King 2 drop? Did that come out? Nah. I don't think so. I was on Netflix earlier this morning. I wondered if it landed with Tiger King Season 2. November 17th it comes out.

I don't know if I'm that interested in the story anymore. Is he out of jail? No. I think they did shorten his sentence, but he's still in jail. I'm like, what made Tiger King amazing was the footage, the real footage of him reacting

to stuff and the journey that these people were on. If they're just doing interviews afterwards, which I think is what it is. Now that the show came out, what do you think? I'm not into it. Yeah, I hate anything like that. I want to say

they did a thing like that already with Tiger King. Yeah, they did. Remember that? They made that extra episode. With it on Zoom and it was so fucking stupid. Who did they have? Joel McHale or somebody hosting it? And it was just... I hated him doing that. I'm fine with that. Is he the guy from Community?

Joel McHale? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm almost positive he was hosting it. He was mostly hosting it because he was like everybody else. He was a really big fan of it. Because he seemed really engaged. And when this happened and that, he seemed to know what he was talking about. It was funny

how media that would have been come and go was huge and dominating our culture because of the pandemic and the lockdown. Animal Crossing, that wasn't that good a game. Animal Crossing

was huge. Every woman on the planet seemed to be playing it because they're locked in tiger king interesting but it wouldn't have been the focus of american culture if it wasn't for covid it's it's it was our life for a week yeah everyone was locked away what are you gonna do it was funny and once you had seen it you really genuinely wanted others to see it. Like, like, because I said,

I watched it twice. I watched it once with my girlfriend at the time and once with my dad. And, uh, just, I just remember watching it with, uh, my girlfriend and we would be on,

let's somewhere around episode three and getting toward the end. And I'd be like, can you believe how insane this show is? And then you get to the episode end of episode three or so. And it's like, can you believe how insane this show is? And then you get to the end of episode three or so, and it's like, oh, and just so you know, they murdered them all. And you're like, wait, I'm watching a show about murderers? And you get to the end of episode four, and it's like, oh, and by the way, here he is. Dun, dun, dun. And it's like, that guy we've been spending an hour

like talking about like he's bigfoot he's part of the show now like it was every episode ended so well it was so well it's a crazy story it really is what are you talking about who tiger came showed up in the fourth oh i'm not not literally what i'm saying is like the end of every episode it was just an awesome like Yeah. Wait, that's his boyfriend? What? That would happen. In addition to the tigers, the tiger kept a whole lot of boys.

Yeah. He wasn't even gay. He just really met. At one point, he was like, when you watch porn, is there two girls in it or a guy and a girl he's like well a guy and a girl you ain't that straight like real time you can like hear him gaslighting this guy into sucking his dick he's like well you're not you're clearly not that straight you sucked me off last night that was for the meth you barely cried at all you barely

cried at all this time like after the show ended and they like come back like i'm actually not gay that clip where like that guy is like the the guy that he was fucking who i don't remember he was the taller younger guy who was like the pride of the harem for the tiger king like he like walked into that room and was was fucking around with a gun and then killed himself. And you could just see the other guy in the room like, oh! Yeah!

There was no build up to it. Nothing. The guy got a little more attention. We kind of got to know him better. And then he killed himself. That came out of left field. Yeah. I did not see that coming. That's what I was getting at. and then he killed himself that came out of left field yeah it was like yeah why no left fuck perfect i i did not see that coming i had no idea getting at like as as crazy of a story as the tiger

king saga is the people who made that show i want to look i want to find out who made that show and what other shows have they made like i i want them to make more shows about other things that have nothing to do with tigers or tiger kings because like the way that they like roll you from episode to episode and like, like, like you just said, the way that there's like, I feel like some other documentary would be like, and that was the day that little Billy accidentally shot himself.

And then there'd be this whole buildup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there'd be like text at the bottom. You're about to see the footage that day. We're feeling really sensitive viewers. And you'd be sitting there like, all right, well, I guess the guy's going to like accidentally shoot himself now.

Everybody gather around. But no, you're watching it. And it's just like some bullshit footage and just bang. And a human being just watched another human being shoot himself in the face. So he's just like. If the genie gave me three wishes I think I'd get the footage that was burnt to come back.

Oh yeah, that would be a good thing. Would you want the crocodilian footage? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy had years of footage. Oh come on, we know what's on that footage. Give me another angle of the Zekruder film or something. I know what's on the Tiger King footage. It's a fucking redneck

going up there and burning some crocodilians alive to get rid of some equipment. No. The footage was in the crocodile thing. It was years worth of footage that he realized was incriminating. So he burned all his crocodiles in the area

where the footage was. Oh, you're talking about the lost footage that was in that trailer. Yeah. What Tiger King actually is is like the leftover scraps and that was magic. The real magic is lost forever. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. Can you imagine? Can you imagine all of the like, because the stuff I was really interested in was all the employees that worked there and their backstories. They were fascinating. When they were eating out of that frozen food truck, that was wild. Every employee there is from the island of broken toys.

Yes, they were all fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He'd go to bus stations, look for people who had no hope and offer him a little hope like you know yeah you look fucked up we have a job and drugs those are my favorite things have you ever feed a tiger or suck a cock i only want to do one of those i think i can guess which one you're guessing wrong but did you have meth what was the context of that you can't do both at the same time was it carol baskin like she released something

when he gave that line like i am never gonna financially recover from this he's like crying right it was when that woman got her fucking yeah yeah that trans person got their arm bitten off and they're laying on the fucking ground yeah and he walks away so callously i am never going to financially recover from this yeah you know who's never going to financially recover from that the person without an arm yeah and yeah you know no insurance no anything you know they're just fucked. Yeah, they stayed. That was the fucked up thing. Like you said, Kyle, the way it played out, you didn't see the person

with no arm until after that clip of them losing their arm. And then there's the interview. Well, let me tell you what it's like. What the fuck? This is insane. Yes. They kept feeding tigers for a living like and she stayed there oh the best part was like they they were like well i can't remember if that person wants to identify as man or woman but let's i

forget to yeah yeah so whatever they want that's what i meant um so so he says um he's like they told me they could save my arm but that would mean staying in the hospital for like weeks or even months and that would make the tiger park look bad because i would be in the news you're right i'd be the new you know i'm in the news every week oh girl hangs on with dangly arm will they keep it will it fall off what will happen she's like just cut it off. Let's get this out of the news. Let's get back to work. Let's get back

to feeding tigers. Give me the arm. I'm going to give it to Tony. He wanted it. Yeah, he clearly wanted it. She feeds what's left of her arm to Tony after they detach it. He was a fan of arms.

He clearly enjoyed being the tiger king, She feeds what's left of her arm to Tony after they detach it. He was a fan of arms. He clearly enjoyed being the Tiger King but didn't have as much interest in training the tigers or anything to do. When he would walk in there, you could tell that even he was like, and they're perfectly fine. Sometimes they walk up close to you like that.

A tiger attacked him? I think he accused Carol Baskin of putting like tuna on his boots or something. Yeah. Yes. That's fucking bitch. Carol Baskin put tuna in my shoes. Why would she do that? That's right.

And then she like, it seemed like all the evidence or at least the way the show presented it, which you never know. It seemed like she killed her husband by feeding him to tigers. And they would like it wouldn't even be edited they'd be like what do you say to the accusations that you fed your husband to tigers he's like well that is just so insane like just saying it with with jubilation and glee in her voice like oh little old me no wasn't her husband like a drug dealer who routinely flew a single engine plane low over the ocean and that's how he died like which all right i thought that was like her boyfriend i feel like you're adding a lot of things to this

we don't i don't remember them saying it was a drug dealer i don't remember if he flew it low over the ocean i don't know how routine it was i don't remember the drug part i mean it could be true like maybe they came out later. I'm going to Google it. Woody Santa Claus is over here giving the kids presents. Don't come to us with this low-flying drug dealer angle. Don't take this from me.

He was being a good guy. We're having fun here. You know what? Maybe I will watch the next series. They found a wreck to the plane. It turns uh just got lost don't do that tiger don't tell me about tiger claws on santa claus no they i mean they're what's an easier way to get rid of a body i know the pig thing from horror movies but tigers have to be up there like they probably don't eat the bones and everything like a pig does you still have to clean up your husband's bones i don't know what i don't eat the bones and everything like a pig does. You still have to clean up your husband's bones. I don't know.

It'd be a quick death. It'd be a real quick death if you're fed to tigers. But I think that the claim was that she killed him and then pushed him into the tiger cage. Yeah, to get rid of the evidence there. God, some people could just do some fucking sick shit. I know. And there has to be part of you unless you're like a serial killer that as you're doing that you're like is this is wrong i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning yeah yeah i shouldn't have murdered

what was the reason given he He was divorcing, right? Divorcing. He's going to take the tigers. He's going to take my tigers. And so I had to kill him is what they're saying I did. That's what they're saying. Did she get all those girls to work for free for her? Oh, that's great.

Oh, what a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. For free for her. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Oh, what a piece of shit. Like a con man. Yeah, yeah. It was interesting how the tiger thing sort of attracted these very similar but very different individuals. They were all essentially con people. They were all con men. Definitely.

Who either wanted sex or wanted some sort of personal satisfaction from their followers. They had the one guy who literally just had, he was just like, I'm going to get some bitches. I'm going to get some bitches up in here. Yeah, you get that house and you get in that one over there. Yeah, y'all work 18 hours a day, by the way, when you're not sucking my dick. He set up three very attractive women, if you consider what he looks like. And then the other guy has the two gay husbands. He's got it all set up. And then Carol Baskins over there just has all of those Karens who work for her and just kiss her fucking ass all day long.

The tigers really did seem almost ancillary to their need need to be in charge and be liked and be it was just tigers were their method of doing it i looked into the husband and his death a little more and it's a little sketchier than i was making it out to be he did routinely fly to costa rica but he did it to cheat on his wife he would go and hire sex workers especially when she was on her period he would just go to costa rica and fuck other women jesus he wanted a divorce but she said he wasn't really serious about it he filed a restraining order against her but it seemed like he wasn't serious about that because they still lived together like so he didn't really enforce it or do anything and uh but they did seem to have

some real marriage issues in that uh you know the restraining order and the divorce requests and stuff like that and uh there's no sign of foul play they don't have any against her but he just vanished so with a bunch of tigers around yeah yeah yeah something's a miss she refused to take a polygraph but i think that isn't that suspicious. I think I would too. Yeah, I feel like a polygraph, if you're super nervous, you could fuck it up. Yeah. Polygraphs are just interrogation techniques.

That's the whole point. They can make that thing say whatever they want it to say. So they can be like, hey, it seems right here on this question, you didn't really know what was going on. What's that? Why does it say this and that say that? You're like, I don't fucking know. I don't know what those moves – I don't know what the scratchy lines mean.

Yeah, they can just make shit up. That's the best part. No one does. Well, that's the thing they used to say in movies is like put a thumbtack in your shoe and push down when you're – Yeah, yeah. Telling the truth, right? So that you're like stressed and nervous when you tell the truth because you're telling the truth. So that you're stressed and nervous when you tell the truth because you're

pressing on the thumbtack. And then when you're lying, you're an equivalent level of stressed and nervous as you were truthing with the thumbtack. But then what if they reverse everything? I think the idea is... They ask them what's the double negatives?

I think the idea is you always thumbtack, right? You just thumbtack on every question. And so every question is just a wash. And they're like, I don't know. Yeah, this person's just skittish. He seems terrified. His heart rate is 180 the whole time. And he's crying.

His heart beats 180 and his nose was bleeding the entire time and he's crying his heart beats 180 and his nose was bleeding the entire time by the time I got to his mother's maiden name he was openly weeping don't make me tell you my mother god is there something wrong with your foot

it's bleeding all over the place you're just filling out some forms you just have to be honest this won't work on me I'm a notorious liar all over the place and they're just filling out some forms you just have to be honest to be like this won't work on me i'm a notorious liar yeah yeah you don't or uh yeah i guess there is no way to fool it because you're right kyle it's not like they're saying like this wiggly line means you're guilty they're just using it to press you for other stuff the idea is that they start with a baseline right they ask you hey is your name Taylor? Yeah, my name is Taylor. Yes.

Do you live in St. Louis? Yes. And now they've got a baseline for truthful responses amongst a lot of different sort of like – It seems like the technique is to fuck up the baseline, right? Is your name Woody? Yeah. You're just looking for inconsistencies. All of a sudden it looks just like your other answers were for the truth that they know of, the baseline. And then when it jumps around a little bit, they got to go, oh, I guess that's a lie because it's not the baseline anymore.

It seems like they could just interpret it any way they want. I think to some extent that probably works. But to another extent, like maybe you just asked me a question that really upset me. Yeah. I mean, that's why it's not admissible. Hey, I just wanted to take it anyway. Okay, and you live in Georgia. Yes, yes, yes.

And your wife's a filthy whore, right? Wait, what? What it says right here. You got very angry, first of all. Yeah. Your wife is a filthy whore. You said she wasn't, but as you can see here, you were lying. Yeah. Your wife is a whore, You said she wasn't, but as you can see here, you were lying. Your wife is

a whore and I fucked her. What? He's just saying statements at me now. He tends to get me upset. Yeah. I mean, they would be fun to play around with. A lie detector. See how accurate they actually are.

How much you could fool it like have someone ask you a very obvious lie and then you try and finagle your way around it they were because lie detectors according to me were from like the 70s or maybe 80s and it was magic oh my god now we can tell you're lying i remember It was on the TV show. That's incredible. And they could tell if a person. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Now, it seems like it could be an app on your Apple Watch. Yeah, yeah.

That could be just as accurate. I wonder what they're like. This is getting some reading of your pulse and fucking temperature or something. And they deem you a liar. I saw one, and I think it is an interrogation technique. It's like trying to get a confession out of you. I can't remember the case, but the person came in and said, well, right now in this room, only one person knows what actually happened. But after this, we're all going to know what happened.

And instantly that puts the thing in the guy's head like, oh, shit. Then as they take the test, they ask the questions. Then when it's done, goes well i told you that we'd all know and there were a lot of inconsistencies in your answers she literally used it even though it's not admissible in court she used telling him that he fucked up and it made him confess he's like well they all know i guess i better you know come up with some accident scenario or self-defense or something that guy needed a lawyer i was listening right right grab a mouthpiece motherfucker you're a dummy these crime podcasts are all the rage right now by the way thank you

for listening to our podcast everybody you there's so many good choices you have and you chose us instead um anyway they were doing the story of amanda knox do you remember her i barely knew her name i don't really follow like tabloid news um but i was like amanda knox i know that one let's listen so here's the deal this chick she's young i don't know how young call her 17 to 19 something like that and she's in italy but she's american so her italian is terrible and she has a roommate that she's friends with but not super close with her roommate had another group of friends that she was even more close with than she was to amanda knox and uh her roommate i get let's tell it this way so amanda comes home and I guess the door is open when it shouldn't be.

And someone didn't flush the toilet, which is not common, right? And these girls always flush their own toilet. And, uh, um, and she left.

So she gets her, Amanda Knox gets her boyfriend to come back. And for whatever reason, the police just show up. Uh, it turns out the police were part of like an electronics crime unit and they found her roommate's phones she had two phones and they were returning those phones to her roommate so there's it's amanda knox her

boyfriend rafael and the two cops are there and they're like oh police this is terrific this place is sketch i'm glad you're here there's poop in the toilet that's weird the door's open that's weird and her roommate's door is locked this door she like her roommate would lock the door for like two minutes while getting changed but mostly she wasn't a door locker it was weird that her bedroom door would be locked and uh the police are like you know we can't knock down this door it's against our procedure etc and they look around boyfriends like captain hercules over there and they're like dude kick down this door right you're not a cop you're just a guy your girlfriend's asking you to kick the door down he does and he kicks the door down everyone

starts screaming right and amanda her italian is bad she doesn't she's not processing these italian screams and everything something about a foot that you know she doesn't know her roommate is dead in there murdered and they saw part of her body, I think under the bed, but I'm not sure about that. So then the Italian police get in their head that Amanda Knox is an absolute sex fiend and that she and her boyfriend had done some sort of murder, rape, or cheating and they killed her roommate, possibly because she wasn't slutty enough.

And the police run with this theory. Some evidence comes in. Finally, a few weeks later, the DNA evidence comes in. And her roommate had been fingered by someone who was not Amanda or her boyfriend. There's another guy. They find out his name is Rudy. So Rudy was

I feel like it's racist to say an immigrant. I don't know what he was, but he was an immigrant. He had no job and he had a record of doing some sort of bad. He had been in prison before and he's the one who left DNA inside her roommate's vagina. Now it wasn't semen, mind you, it was a finger or something.

And the police though, they don't let Amanda Knox off the hook. They still think that she's behind this thing. You know how in America, how many days can they hold you? Is it two or something? And then you have this right to a speedy trial. Like they have to acquit you and then the whole bail thing can happen. But they can't just lock you up. In Italy, it's not two days.

It's four years. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Mamma mia. They can hold you for four years while they get their case together and get ready to charge you. and get ready to charge you and you know she they're they're like interviewing her harshly this interrogation and they kept telling her that she needs to remember that she did this she needs to remember how there was this big like sex thing and the tabloids are running with it like crazy she's nicknamed foxy noxy and oh god yeah and she's just this like naive girl who

doesn't understand what's happening um she doesn't have an attorney for the longest time at one moment she remembered right this for a heart like she they gaslighted her into thinking that it was true and it might she's low on sleep. They're just going at her, going at her. And she's like, yeah, I guess we did that. She just wanted to please the interrogators. She's young. She's not even getting all of this.

There were some weird things like that. I guess she had a coworker who was sick, and the boss said we need you to come in. And then she's doing this by text. And then the boss says, never mind, we don't need you. And she's like, okay, see you later. In America, that means goodbye, right? Goodbye until next time. The Italians saw this as plans to meet up and do this whole sex murder thing because she said see you later

to her boss all these things are getting twisted she doesn't speak the language well enough to present her case and it was years later before she was not just found not guilty i guess you could be found innocent in italy and uh and they also chastise the prosecutors on how to deal with this so how long was she in jail between two and three years i think one of these days they'll get her don't worry yeah made out like a bandit so that they find out who did it or no it was that Dude. So fingering. He claimed that. The two were sort of like going to be romantic. Zach says four years. OK, he claimed that the roommate and Rudy, this is the immigrant murderer, dude, were going to be romantic. They didn't have a condom. And then they decided to stop there and go get one or something. condom and then they like decided to stop there and go get one or something uh he went to the bathroom while he was in the bathroom another guy came in murdered her and left and he hid the don't

you hate when that happens oh it's so stressful yeah i wish it sounds like that you wish you had some tigers aside from that story being unlikely and unbelievable uh they had some evidence that proved that that wasn't the case i think maybe rudy's whip rudy's oh and then he like well like why are your fingerprints all over and the blood and why are your shoes in the blood and this and that and he's like i was trying to help her after she got you know murdered and you know that's why my hands are all over her looking like i was the murderer yeah was it his dump in the bowl oh yeah it was they tested that too uh apparently that's not that uncommon like for murderers to get like super nervous and use the bathroom oh yeah yeah interesting

you never think about murderers in that context, that they're really anxious about it. You always think like they're so excited to do it. They can't wait. Amanda Knox has her own crime podcast now, and she has a different spin on these crimes. And I haven't heard it yet. I just heard her talk about it. But so most people, when they go through these crimes, they have these angelic victims and evildoers and they tell the story of how you know their paths crossed and how awful that was when she looks at it she sees the victims as sometimes not so angelic and perhaps you know like

fully fleshed out people who were in a bad spot because of some bad decisions and they see the murderers, the, the, the, the evildoers as like, maybe things got out of control and this wasn't his first choice on how this went down either.

And I'm like, that does sound like an interesting take on these crimes and one that perhaps someone who was tied up in one way. So, but it's like every case she just sees as the criminal is innocent. It's so blatant. She's like, I don't know.

Right, right. So this mom, she put the kids in the SUV and rolled the SUV into the lake. The kids were kind of assholes all along. How loud they could be. Little hot fuckers. I remember the lady who did that.

That was a long, long time ago. The lady buckled her kids into the car. Susan Smith. Was it Susan Smith or the other one? I don't know. I know there were two. There was one that drowned the kids in the bathtub.

And then the other one drowned them in the... Susan Smith. Yeah, yeah. It was Susan Smith. Good recall. Yeah. Was it her? Yeah, was convicted in 1995 of murdering three-year-old Michael and 14-month-old Alex by strapping them into their car seats and letting her car roll into a lake in the middle town of Union.

I want to see Amanda Knox's take on it. You got three-year-old still not potty trained who among us would not have strapped him into an suv yeah that is that that would be really funny if her crime podcast is like who's to say if jonah stevenson actually murdered these people and it's like uh we have his confession on tape he admitted in it he reveled in it and like, we have his confession on tape. He admitted in it, he reveled in it, and he seemed to have a really get a lot of sexual pleasure from it.

Here's the video. You know, this could be like the Italian police. This could be a deep fake. As he's doing it, he's screaming this is not a deep fake, I'm doing this. Don't trust Amanda Knox and her nonsense. As you can see, he's ejaculating.

He looks like a lock and load consultant. That's electro-rectal forced ejaculation. That's a technique used by the Italian. That's an old lighting trick. I've never listened to a true crime podcast. I know there's a million of them, but that could be interesting. My wife watches them on TV.

She's probably watching one. I would bet $1,000. She's downstairs watching some sort of crime. Dangerous women. Does she like it because it's spooky? No, I don't think that's it. I think it's fascinating. They're pretty interesting shows.

She's used up the good ones. So now she's on to the C tier of crime shows. Yeah. They're cheesy and lame. They'll take a story that should be told in one episode and they break it down to eight. So it just drags on and on. They take you down rabbit holes that you didn't need to go down. lot of the shows like like forensic files is really good i like watching that especially it's on in every hotel room so if you're ever staying in a hotel it's the easiest

thing and they marathon the shit out of it uh at night so it's you know cool to put on but i know what you mean like you run out of good episodes you know what show is notorious for that i love um air disasters air disasters is a show it they they it's got some amazing um kind of microsoft flight simulator type graphics so they're able to really make these things and in detail look exactly what happened and they have dramatizations of inside the the planes and they crash for some reason and then the um ntsa gets up there and and has to figure out what went wrong and they go through you know everything equipment failure they go through the pilots records all these things now there have been over the course of the years some spectacular air disasters.

And once you're through with all of those, technology itself has gotten so good of late that there aren't really a lot of these spectacular airliners that go down anymore, especially in this country. Overseas,

some of the planes aren't maintained that well. And they do cover some of those. But you start getting to, you know, this, some of the planes aren't maintained that well. And they do cover some of those. But you start getting to, you know, this guy, a tire fell off on his Cessna. Let's cover that. You're like, eh, it's not as exciting as an L-1011 nosing in at an airport in 75. I'm looking at season one vs season 14 on the Smiths season 14 there's an episode called killer in the cockpit

and I guarantee it's like no it was an electrical problem they landed I fly paramotors now to say that makes me a pilot is like saying that someone who enjoys kayaks is a boat captain. You know, kind of.

But I started getting into like other aviation stuff. And I watched content like you mentioned. You know, people who were, you know, calling air traffic control and getting help. Some of the coolest ones are when the actual pilot dies and then passengers take over and have to land the plane. Oh, right. I'll talk in. Yeah, that really happens. Keep your nose up.

It's the coolest thing. The guy's like, do you have any flying experience? He's like, I took a Discovery flight on a Cessna 19 years ago. This is like a twin engine beach wood or something. He doesn't understand anything. He doesn't know how to change the radio. So they're like using the wrong frequency. Oh Jesus.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's neat to hear air traffic controllers, talk them in and land it stuff. Yeah. Yeah. We're getting somebody up here with you that uh trains people on the aircraft that you're on don't worry just give it i heard one where a girl is just like hysterical

crying she's up there oh she she was on a solo she was on a solo she was actually training to fly and i think she her tire fell off when she like one of her tires fell off and she's like, you know, we're going to circle you around, get all the fuel out, you know, as much fuel as you can, um, burn it up. And then, uh, and then come into land and she was really scared at first. And then she brought it in and, uh, you know know they talked her in and you could tell over the time while they're talking to her that she got a little more confidence and a little less emotional um yeah it's kind of crazy people get in some weird situations so i'm flying my paramotor with a friend this is like two and a half years ago and uh what you do when paramotors can fly low

and we're flying together and we see a field and from the sky it looks like a maze, which is super cool because you can drop down and then you're like zooming around, going sideways, like swinging around the trees and such. I was smart. I looked at like 500 feet and I flew again at like 150 feet looking for power lines. And once I knew where they were, I dropped down lower. I was a little more experienced than my friend, but he was at a stage where I felt like mother handing him was insulting. Like, you know, don't forget you have to look for power lines. It's like, look, he's an adult. He's got hundreds of hours on this thing.

And, you know know so i'm not gonna tell him how to fly he hits a power line oh my god yeah so he's flying and you kind of everybody knows the patterns of where a power line might be they tend to be next to roads and leading to buildings this one wasn't where it belonged Like it cut diagonally across the front yard. And so he hits a power line. The wing melts and like the power like shuts off to the neighborhood or something. But the real damage to him was from the fall. He didn't fall that far, but he fell like, I'm going to make it up to 12 feet, something like that, which is pretty rough. Go hop on a 12 foot ladder and drop

on your ass and see how it goes so he can't really walk too well at this point i come in i land i check him out we come up all i'm gonna go i'm gonna get his van i'm gonna pick him up and that like i am spooked in aviation they call it a fear injury and in spite of the fact that i have like hundreds of hours and a thousand flights or something i feel like i don't know how to do this anymore holy shit yeah and i i launch and barely fucking make it like and i'm you launch on your feet and i'm like falling forward stumbling as thankfully i find lift and rise into the air and uh there are trimmers that make it go faster and break i don't want to touch anything i suddenly have no faith in this ridiculous contraction it was like a lawn

chair and kite strings go into this thing and like the whole way back i'm just like fuck kyle was right wow the way kyle and i have from the beginning is launching is optional but landing is mandatory and i'm like i have to fucking land this thing. Like, I can't get out of it. I can't get anyone to do it for me. Oh, my God. You know, I'm in this position. I have to land this thing. I have to get his van, and I have to bring my buddy back home. And the flight is long.

Not long. 35 minutes, 45 minutes. And the whole time, I'm just, like, fucking fucking psyching myself out knowing that this landing is coming up and knowing that there's no way to avoid it i'm just fucking doomed and uh i bring it home and i'm like doing everything that like my first day instructors taught me eyes on the horizon feet in the air running position dealt the first the first front of the other, whatever. And I fuck up the landing, but not horribly. I run forward

a couple steps, then I fall on my knees and palms. And I'm like, well, not hurt. Bonus points. My shit's not broken. And I got the van and I brought him home. You got the yips. Yeah, yeah. You've the yips. Yeah.

You've done it a million times. I had it for a while. I was going to say my next flight, my wing broke, but that was after a different incident. What kind of injury did your buddy have? He had some sort of hip displacement. I guess your hip has like cartilage like holding it together so when he walked almost like a pregnant woman like it kind of like shifted and uh he just needed to stay off his feet for a couple weeks as his hips like fused again oh god and and he's 100 fine

from that but does he uh does he enjoy the sports still or He's actually an instructor now. Oh, my goodness. Don't do this. So, Woody, speaking of the paramotoring thing, do you want to talk about that photo you sent us today, that injury? Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. Because that was the most gruesome injury I've ever seen of a paramotor.

You want to lay it out there? It's the kind of thing that Kyle and I were like, what if this happens? Oh, God. So if you don't know what a paramotor is at all, probably your listeners do. It's a lawn chair with a propeller on your back, and then it flies something like a parachute. The cliche for starting this thing is on your back or in a rack, right? And what you don't do is you don't just start it like a lawnmower on the ground.

If for some reason, this thing is at any kind of throttle at all, it blows towards you and it can hurt you. And a guy in the paramotor community, I don't know the specifics, but I know that he was ground starting it. I have pretty high confidence that

for some reason, it ground started at full throttle. This happens sometimes. It's happened to me, but it was on my back because I'm smart like that. I just turned it off. If you start it and it blows at you like that it's super dangerous and this guy

scalped him himself that there's a like i'm trying to oh my god like this much of his head is missing and uh his skull stopped the propeller he broke the propeller with his homer simpson head but but the the picture of it is gruesome and hair is not going to grow back oh yeah it's like you can see you can see skull in the photo like just clean oh wow chop right off the top so dude what an embarrassing. He's going to have to lie that he was a veteran or something. Let's go free Starbucks. It's tempting to ground start these things. It's a terrible idea. If you're ground starting, which is to say it's not on your back,

it's probably because it's not starting well, right? You're having a tricky day. It doesn't want to fire right up. Anyone who's had a lawnmower knows sometimes it's first pull. Sometimes it's not and uh the trouble is like those days when it's not working really well are also the days that it can jump at you and hurt you and scalp you and scalp you yeah now how how big so there's no guard on the prop how How big is the prop? 130 centimeters. How big is that?

I'm not fucking European. Yeah, right? I'll Google it. Like a centimeter. Like 51 inches. All right. Yeah, about dick size. Okay.

And there's no guard around it? So that's a good point all right some motors very few motors have netting in front of it that is strong enough to protect you most motors have netting in front of it that is really just designed to keep the lines and the brakes from going to it oh good yeah but it's not strong enough to keep like your from going through. If you were to headbutt it, the netting, imagine it being crisscrossed like a basket weave, but looser. It'll spread open. You could give birth to your head through it. I don't know what kind of motor he had.

A powerful one, I'm told. There's really only two that have the strong netting that they called it the comanche scalper so uh anyway he got really hurt and uh i and i'm guessing i'm guessing they didn't find the scalp because i'll tell you what my first instinct would be like get the scalp right my scalp yeah you'd think there'd be a chance they could because they can reattach fingers and you know why could rob it probably ripped off and the prop flung it like a frisbee go get it yeah that's my hair like you know what i parted this way we could put it back on at an angle so it comes out.

He's going to end up looking like this. He looks like that now. He's not any of that coverage. Your shit's broken up. You're all fucked up. It's audio and video. Yeah, that's awful though. There's these YouTube channels that do worst ways to die. Apparently, one of the most painful things

that can happen to you is scalping something about the blood flow or something. And the fact that it just keeps hurting day after day and doesn't really heal. Right. Oh yeah. That sucks. Yeah.

I know that, um, like facial injuries and stuff, they tend to bleed a lot more than the rest of your body. A lot of blood vessels. Yeah. Scalp injuries are like crazy bleeders. Yeah.

You get a little ding in your head. It's just pouring down your face. Someone looks and goes, oh, that's nothing. You see it in fighting a lot. Yes, yes, with the razor blades and they cut themselves. They make a little nick right in their head and it would bleed

so profusely that at home it looks like this guy's taking a beating. Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. It's home entertainment. I watch MMA a lot. People get elbows to the hair and it just bleeds like crazy when it cuts them.

That poor guy. He's disfigured really. How much fuel do you carry with you? The legal limit is five gallons, but mine is like three something. That lasts for what? Flying around average? Yeah. If I were to stretch it with

an efficient wing and stuff, I could make it for like four hours, but I tend to like one-hour flights. Yeah. Is it tiring? It's not really that tiring. It can be if you do acrobatics, which I do. Oh, my goodness.

I don't like hearing that. We should go for tandem. I'll fucking take you upside down. No way. Woody has a backup parachute that he sometimes has to throw because he's, quote, unquote, going down. Oh, my God. Yeah. I had an incident.

I was practicing a move. I hadn't quite mastered yet on a wing that was fairly new to me. There was some, that was the root bad decision-making that led to all this. And I was just in this configuration where the wing and I were spinning, right? Like picture the center of it being the, what do you say?

The center point and the wing and I spinning around it. And I spent a lot of my altitude trying to fix it, trying to get the, probably maybe 900 feet off the ground. I was like, I can't fix this. I'm running out of altitude and I throw my reserve chute and it doesn't work. Oh no. The wing collects the reserve chute and now it's just

two piles of laundry. And I briefly was like, if I throw this other reserve, I don't have any more reserves. Maybe I should keep it so I still have a reserve when I land. but i threw the other one and it just worked and um i wasn't under reserve for very long at all that time maybe like 15 seconds and uh there's something called a plf fall when you land like say you're drifting this way the idea is like you land on your feet, your calf, your hip, your, you know, your ribs, your arms, and, and just sort of like roll into it. It's a parachute landing fall.

I was going, my brother was 82nd airborne. He, I remember hearing about that one. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to determine how I'm going to PLF and I am going straight down. Like there is no wind at all. How do I even roll? I don't know. I'm just... I end up going like feet, butt,

propeller, like I'm on my back and then I'm stuck there like a turtle. Just attached to my paramotor, strapped in and I'm like I can't get up. So I have to unstrap and crawl away from everything and i'm just shocked that uh do you cut the throttle before you land uh in this case i had well so to in this case i cut the throttle before i started i'm fascinated by this but uh i cut the

throttle at about 100 feet every time. Every time. What I do is I make this contract with myself. I'm like half a mile away at 2,000 feet and I don't want to touch the throttle again. I am practicing landing with a motor out every time I land. Unless something goes wrong, I don't touch the throttle for the last 15 minutes of the flight if something does go wrong you can always go around wow 15 minutes something like that yeah i don't think i'm exaggerating um so then uh and then once i'm at like 100 feet 50 feet and i know

with confidence i'm gonna land in a good spot i turn it off. Because I don't want to land. Well, I do sometimes land under power. I wouldn't want that fucking thing running anywhere near when I have to land running on my feet. You don't know. Your ass over tea kettle and then that thing queezing arts your fucking head. It goes the other way, too, though. What if you're in your last 25 feet and there's something you don't like? Oh, and then you got to go around.

So if the conditions are not smooth, I might leave it running. That guy's going to be wearing a lot of hats. He is. That's his new look. Did he have a lot of hair before? I'm not sure. I hope not. Yeah, I was in such a rush to get ready,

but I saw that picture, but somehow I'd forgotten about it until Taylor just brought it up. But yeah, that's fucking gruesome. Can you hear me okay now? Zach, please don't share this picture, but I'm going to give it to Anthony. I think it's too gruesome for YouTube, really. Can you hear me?

Yeah, man. Oh my god. Wow. That's brutal. Terrible. And it's not really to the audience's benefit. It's not really the side of the head. It's really the crown of his head.

It's almost centered. It's dead centered. The whole crown. Oh, if he becomes Jewish, the yarmulke will cover all this up. Really, he could pass it off as male pattern baldness almost. There's a skull underneath

instead of skin. You know how people go bald with jagged edges? And huge amounts of pink scar tissue. I'm going to be banned from the Paramotor community for your jokes. It's going to happen to you all. Your hobby's silly. They can't ban you.

In that world, you're too big to fail. Is that what I have? You're like Fannie Mae. They can't take you down. You're the one bringing the attention to it. There's a culture in aviation where people share their mistakes. And hopefully you learn from what I've done wrong. I shared that reserve throw thing.

I told everyone about it. I made a video so that they just know the risks that are associated with acro and risky decisions. That's why he shared it. So other people, you know, it seems like three, four people a year groundstart and chew themselves up with the prop. Oh God.

You have two reserves. I do, but I'm, I'm unusual in that way. Most people have zero or one. I have two. Yeah. I love that.

You have two. Yeah. I have two. Not only did he have two, but he needed it. Yeah. He needed two. Yeah. I love that you have two. Yeah, I have two. And you needed it. Not only did he have two, but he needed it. He needed two. That's insane, man. You should be an instructor. You'd be safer than any of these bozos.

Some people would disagree. But I have a parachute bat. I take a lot of risk and mitigate a lot of risk. I carry 17 extra parachutes. Yeah, I just have reserves all over us. It's just parachutes. That's all that's in that bag. I decided to lose the engine part of it too dangerous.

Now I just run across my yard as fast as I can. It's more of a cardio exercise. You'd never get fine. Speaking of cardio exercises, I am sweating so much in this cow costume. I bet.

I've got the AC at 64 in this room.. I bet. It is so hot. I've got the AC at 64 in this room. I've got a tank top on under this, and I went to go pee. So when I unzipped my cow, it's like a different color of sweatiness now from being in here. I should have. This probably came straight from China. I'm getting really itchy everywhere. Oh, yeah.

Asbestos is probably one of the ingredients. I hope I really itchy everywhere. Oh, yeah. Asbestos is probably what it is. I hope I don't get mesothelioma. COVID-20. Yeah. I start the new thing. They're suspecting it came from a cheaply bought cow costume. How much

was your costume? 50 bucks. Really? Everything costs 50 bucks. don't you understand you could have bought three axes and three what's wrong with you yeah i've got tax deductions for i've got so many costumes that i i've never worn other than that i've got the squirrel costume i've got an unopened priest over there. I just now noticed I could have taken advantage of that for this year. Priest will be good next year.

Remind me, I'll do that. There's a lot of easy plug and play bits. They're evergreen. Bible stories. Yeah. Bible stories. And it was funny. I was like, I was walking through and it's like,

this was last year and I was grabbing the priest one. I was like, oh, the priest one? That's pretty funny. Oh, the rabbi one is hilarious though and i was like oh boy somehow that seems a little more risque than than yeah than a priest doing a rabbi the cleric storyline this is from like august so it's not so long ago the new york times now claims that a series of studies performed by the catholic blog the pillar have prompted at least one priest to resign i guess the deal is the vatican's in freak out mode because they found a bunch of priests on grinder oh my god grinder what yeah yeah oh no way dude we've said this before but literally like centuries and centuries ago My God. Grindr. Yeah.

No way. We've said this before, but literally like centuries and centuries ago, if like the king had a gay son, they just pushed him into the priesthood. Like that was like an encouraged thing where it's like, oh, you know, Johnny the second little light in the loafers. We're going to push him to the Vatican, whereas Greg Stout, he can stay here and carry my lineage. I thought you were going to say pushed him out the window like in Braveheart. I thought it was going to a cliff.

Actually, that's probably how a lot of it went too. You all gay? Push him out the window. Yes, I am trained in the arts of war and tactics. Well, come with me and that's such a funny scene god it's hilariously horrible it took me back like it took me aback when i watched that as a kid i'm like oh he's probably dead this person who speaks to me as if i need his oh he's so good long shanks was oh fucking

just a piece of shit i had no idea they were supposed to be gay when i was watching it i was like wow so just throw your son's friend out the window like that you're a very close friend that hang out in a locked door on top of a castle it does make more sense now looking back uh yeah yeah once you get older and realize what's going on it makes makes a lot of sense that movie's one of those that if it's on you're gonna watch it one of those like that goodfellas and fucking alien and casino i haven't seen casino forever casino i haven't seen that in even longer. That's the one with the main character played a

De Niro played a Jewish guy, right? That's Casino? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Pesci reminds him of that a few times. Dude, I still can't buy Joe Pesci as a tough guy. I'm really struggling with a tough 5'2 fat dude. I know,

but he's got short guy rage, I guess. I don't know. When you watch Goodfellas, it kind of works, especially when you give him a gun and it doesn't matter how big he is. Yeah. I don't remember him shooting people in a casino. He's always beating them up with pens and fists and shit

like that. The pens thing is why he's dangerous. He's not going to fight fight you fair he'll see you like taking a piss and he'll go stab you in the kidneys with a fucking fountain yeah let's say it's not five foot two pesci and it's some five foot six woman do you think that that woman and a bick is gonna take you down taylor fuck no if she surprises me and stabs me in the neck with it, yes. You're going to grab her wrist and be like, you do not have the athleticism that a pen will make up

for this. You are my bitch. It would be in my neck before I knew, and then my only move would be... It would not! It would not! You'd be like, you have made a great man. Are we fighting women who are armed with Bic pens? We're talking about Joe Pesci, and he's saying that a 5'6 woman with a pen is scary if 5'2 Joe Pesci is scary, but that a 5'6 woman with a pen is scary if 5'2 Joe Pesci is scary.

But a woman wouldn't be as insane as Joe Pesci. What? Have you not met a woman before? I've beaten up a lot of women, trust me. Join the club. I'm the only one here who's actually beaten up a woman, so come on. Have you been arrested for it? No. Have you been arrested for it?

No. Checkmate. Damn. You tried to be the big man, Woody? Shot down. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Weapons charge is a little more sexy, though. That is.

Can you buy guns when you're in South Carolina? Or no? Can I? Will I? Of course. guns when you're in south carolina or no can i will i of course i am so excited to go into you know like the liberals all say just walk into a 7-eleven and buy a machine gun i'm so excited that'd be so great it'd be so fun if that was how it actually works like like you know journalists were like if you could actually walk into a 7-Eleven and be like, one saw, please. It's easier

to buy a gun than it is to vote in this country. Shut the fuck up. You don't even need an ID. Yeah, just give me a gun. I'll stand on line, no ID. I'll walk in and hand me a gun. Is that how it works?

Forgive me for being an idiot. In North Carolina, you definitely need an ID. Is there any state where you don't? No. He's talking about for guns. The loophole. No, no. To vote, you could just walk in without an ID. Of course. You have to know your name and address.

They always say, though, that guns, it's easier to get a gun than it is to vote, they say in this country. It's like shut up the only people who say that is someone who's never gone through the process of buying a gun exactly exactly like they just see like an episode of tv where homer walks in and and remember the episode of the simpsons where he's like, sorry, but it is a five day waiting period. He's like, but I'm bad now. I'm angry now. I'm bad now. What a hilarious

line. I'm angry now. The internet was going wild about how lethal AR-15s were. Do you remember that? And they acted like the recoil was like brutal and it could bust your shoulder and bruise you up from yeah yeah it felt like there was a journalist

said it felt like uh a m80 or something was exploding in my face i heard yeah did it this fruit it's like yeah i literally didn't shoot it really. He took an AR-15 and he held it up to his nose and he pulled the trigger and you saw it go. Yeah. Which is what it would do. Yeah. There was a non-gun owner in their comments just like, this is a really effective way to demonstrate what it's actually like. Yeah. Yeah.

They think everything is like an AK in a movie where they're like chasing down indiana jones and they're like yeah yeah i like to see him do it the other way with the nose that guy you're talking about woody the the or maybe it was anthony that journalist who was like i think he also said something like, honestly, I don't want to exaggerate, but I feel as though I have a mild form of PTSD from having fired this weapon of war.

Oh, and then they're showing children the responses. They had a girl shooting guns and she's smiling and laughing. Yeah, just ridiculous. Yeah, that's lies. That's the big issue right if they were accurately reporting that like it shoots 30 rounds and you can reload it and i don't know for me five seconds but maybe for someone else one um then at least that's accurate you know like that's what they do but this whole ptsd and the

kick and then now you're lying don't lie they're trying to get people to stop buying them in record numbers maybe that's what it is they're so bad at it but but yeah first of all they're not trying to what they want is to sell ads against they're like oh my god can you believe this is happening can you believe this is happening that's what they want but like every time they come on and they're and they and they talk about those fucking ptsd giving killing machines that you can buy your 7-eleven for six hundred dollars how many i mean i mean look doesn't that if if who out there isn't going, really? I can get a PTSD giving killing machine for $600 at 7-Eleven. I mean, I got $600.

And then they pick the stupidest store. They act like you're like, I'm going to go pick up some wooden dowels at Pottery Barn. Oh, an AR-15. Yeah, just throw that in the cart. Throw that in the cart. It's good for crafting. The one they show all the time is the gun show loophole, right?

Yes, the gun show loophole. You can go to a gun show and just come home with anything you want. That is not my experience. No. No background checks. No nothing. Yeah, so easy. They always ran my information because I bought guns from gun shows.

But if you run into a dude at a gun show, if you were to meet me in gun show around 2016, and you were like, hey, Kyle, how would you like to buy my shotgun from me? $200, I need some money. I would have peeled off $200. You would have left with it, and I'd have left with your shotgun, and that would have peeled off $200 you would have left with it and I'd have left with your shotgun

and that would have happened right there in the parking lot yeah so what they're really saying is private sales don't have the background check because like I don't have the capability to even yeah and if a private person meets a private person at a gun show which sometimes happens you know guys

walk around they usually have flags sticking out. Yeah, they do. Interesting. You can do a private sale, but all the tables and stuff, those people are stores. Yeah, the private sales,

people sell each other anything. It doesn't... If there's no real law against it no there's not and and i wouldn't want there to be like i grew up doing private sales there were so many times where what i just described would actually happen where like a friend of mine would need some money and they knew that i wanted as many guns as i could get and uh and they're like hey kyle um i've got a gun do you have six hundred dollars and he's like absolutely those are a thousand dollars new i guess give me your gun and i would i bought so many guns that way guns i didn't want because i didn't want nonsense guns

nonsense it's gotten rid of nonsense yeah i don't have many more you know just to like fill up space we're like yeah there's a space where there's not a gun in my home. Yeah, yeah. This will fit nicely there. I was doing that for a while. I was buying guns just because I wanted to. I'd go to the gun store. I loved going to the gun store and checking out guns.

And then you couldn't leave without one. I'm here. There's a fuckload of guns for sale. I have some money. Fuck yeah. Let's buy another. Well, in New York, how long did you have to wait to get it? Oh. I'm here. There's a fuckload of guns for sale. I have some money. Fuck yeah, let's buy another. Well, in New York, how long did you have to wait to get it? You didn't. It's amazing. The waiting in New York comes with trying to get the ability to buy a gun

in the first place. That's when they make you wait. You can't even touch a pistol in a gun store without a license in New York. Literally, you're not allowed to have a guy show you a gun in a gun store and pick it up. You can't even touch it without handing over your New York State license first. So it takes forever to get one of those. And forget about the city. The state alone is bad enough. Do you have to be a special person? Like have a reason?

Not for the state. And it's usually a target that they give everybody. So you need a reason. You've got to belong to a club that has 24-hour range access and all the happy horseshit so you're able to carry it on you 24 hours. But then once you get your license, now you can buy a gun. You walk into a gun store, buy a gun, take it home that minute, like the second you buy it.

But they also give you a sheet with all the info on it. You have to take that to a precinct within a week, a police precinct. They have to register it, and then you've got to take the slip of paper back to the gun store. Yeah, yeah. It's a big fucking – they do whatever they can to frustrate you into not wanting to do it. But once you have your license, yeah, you take it home that day when you're still nice and angry. Yeah, when you're still out for vengeance. Right, right.

Pull out the gun, but after all this bureaucracy, I'm free! Yeah, yeah. I'm free! If you have a concealed carry in North Carolina, it's a similar thing. You can go pick up a gun right away. And I think actually for a long gun, you can get it same day too. South Carolina is where I'm going. North Carolina is the one I

know because I live here. South Carolina has got some great laws or lack thereof when it comes to buying guns, carrying. They just did open carry with a permit and stuff. I don't really like open carry at all.

I like concealed. I don't remember who said it to me me but it's like if you're walking around walmart open carrying and someone decides they want to fuck up that walmart you're just like you're the problem number one like right you're the primary target that guy that's not even my problem with open carry i just don't want to deal with everybody's judgment on my decision to open carry like it that's another thing sure sure yeah people would be like oh look at this fucking rambo right right big tough guy cosplaying as you're lighter right right right right right all that shit literally here you you because i've heard from people they literally hear you because I've heard from people, they literally hear gasps like

oh! They see like women just losing their fucking shit over somebody open carrying. And you keep like just pretend reaching for it. It's not punishing, I'm joking. I heard a gasp. I thought

someone was being joking. I was protecting you. I'm gun comfortable. But even I see it on the cop's hip and it was like, oh yeah, that shit's for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always think if you could, how it would go if you tried to take the gun from the cop. I always think that.

I don't know why. It's like when you're in church, you could be at a funeral and you're just thinking horrible things like what would people do if I got up there and just started tap dancing on the call? You go out with these things you would never do. But when I see cops, and there's plenty of cops now in Penn Station, New York City, when I take the train in, and I just think like, just go out there and fucking grab that pistol right out of there. And you just get, you kind of freak yourself out. Like, the only thing that's keeping me from doing it is whatever sanity

I might have left in my head is me being in control of my hands right now right right yeah and it'll change your evaluation of it will change like it's like a Joe Pesci sized cop you're like I'm taking this fucker down and then sometimes you see one of those like

built to be a cop guys where you're like, 0%. If I started assaulting this guy right now, he wouldn't reach for anything. He would just beat you in the submission. Absolutely. He'd absorb some blows as he was cracking his knuckles.

Every now and then you see that with cops. You'll see a cop video where they get into some kind of a scuffle with a suspect or whatever you want to call them and instead of reaching for a gun a taser a club the cop just puts his hands up yeah yeah i love that shit i'm just like oh but if you're a get out if you're a suspect and you ever see a cop put his hands up, give up right away. Give up right away. He had other options. He wanted to give you up. He knows he could kick your ass and he can't wait.

You're happy with the way this went. The news can't be mad at me for this. He gives you that Bruce Lee like, come on. Just get on the ground, dude. Inter interlaced fingers whatever you need to do you can open carry here no license or permit needed in missouri but like even when i go like real deep south missouri where my grandparents live it's never you never see anybody walking

around with a gun on their hip everyone has it it concealed if they have it. I almost never see it. I have seen it, right? And this is literally like the ice cream parlor or something in Apex. And the guy that did it pulled it off. He just, he was older, call him like 58. Thin, looking, maybe cowboy build,

but I don't think he actually was one. He's Apex. And just had a vibe about him that you knew he didn't care what you thought. Uh, and like, like some people, you know, it is a waste of time to give them your opinion.

And that was the case with him. And yeah, yeah. Yeah. This guy, like, fuck off. Here's what I do.

Yeah. Fuck off. Here's what I do. Where were you? Yeah. I was in an ice cream parlor on Main Street. The ice cream cowboy. Strong arming.

Call ass for sprinkles. Taking his grandkids to get ice cream scoops. Welcome to America. i don't know and something about him seemed like he wasn't there to use the gun like you know it was just unless i need to i just know that this guy grabs his wallet keys and guns and head and heads out the door goddamn right he's been doing it for so long he doesn't even think about the judgment that he could be incurring

from people. It's just like I wouldn't forget my wallet at home. So I need my Ruger Redhawk single action.44 Magnum 8 inch barrel. It was a semi-auto of some sort. I can't recognize them by the handle that well.

Probably maybe you guys could but black semi-auto. Could have. I can't recognize them by the handle that well. Probably maybe you guys could. Black semi-auto. Could have been a Glock. Yeah. I mean, they always say Glocks are like... Glock or Sig. Kyle, what was the gun you recommended people conceal carry back in the day? Was it a small Glock? Glock 19.

Glock 19. Yeah. For a carry gun. Or a Sig if you prefer a SIG aesthetically Glocks do not do it for me no and what I'm saying not a sexy gun it's a very ugly gun and it's a gun that you want to do

a few things to once you purchase anyway you want some sights and a better trigger and maybe some stippling and a better magwell maybe different magazines. There's a lot of stuff you can do. Different gun. You know,

I'm just going to buy the SIG. I decided. I can't remember the numbers, but it's like a, probably a three 80 of some sort. And you can get it with like, they treat the metal in such a way that it's almost rainbow with pearl...

What are the grips called, right? It just looks like a showpiece gun. If I was to get... This is like a gay pimp would carry it. Not that he was a homosexual, but that he pimped gay

people. He was could find it. Not that he was a homosexual, but that he pimped gay people. He was good at it. I think it's the P238 Rainbow Micro Compact Sig Sauer. I love the rainbows in the name. Can you link it? It's the official LBGTQ guy. Oh my god, it's even gayer than I remember. It's even gayer?

Oh god, that is. Look at that. Oh, that dude. I don't think it was this exactly because I do remember the pearlescent handles. Discontinued product. You can get some clear grips that have actually jism in them if you want. Oh shit. Oh, shit.

All right. That's awful. I've shot those pistols, though. Obviously, that's the newest version, but years ago, I've shot... It's been the same forever. I've shot those before. I mean, it's one of the most reputable brands

to buy a gun from, right, Sig? You always hear good things about them. I don't have a ton of experience. Most of my experience was with Glock, but from what I mean, it's one of the most reputable brands to buy a gun from, right? Sig, you always hear good things about them. I don't have a ton of experience. Most of my experience was with Glock, but from what I understand, they're pretty comparable for a lot of things. Well, these look cool. These look a million times cooler than the Glock. HK, I like Walther a lot.

HK, Walther, yeah, they make a good phone. Walther fits my hand really well. Is that the Walther something that James Bond had? Yeah. The PPK. Yeah, the PPK. A lot of their guns seem to really fit my hands

well. They're really curvy. What's the word I'm looking for when things just fit your hand? Contoured. Ergonomic. Yeah. I fired some guns with Daniel Craig, James Bond.

I fired, I had him. I took, he, he wanted to go shooting at a security guy, a buddy of mine, a cop. And we took him down to the range out East of Long Island and

fired off, you know, my fucking Barrett.50 Cal and my Walther PPKS. I got pictures of him. You'll probably find one. Anthony Cumia and Daniel Craig. Because a story

came out in the paper, and it was like, oh, Daniel Craig likes guns. He's an anti-gun guy or something. They painted him as one. He got in all kinds of shit back in England because he's an anti-gun guy or something they they had painted him as one and uh and he got in all kinds of shit back in england because he's actually shooting guns that's so lame instead yeah we just want you to pretend to know how to do it yeah yeah he had a blast he had a fucking piss he shot that barrett and he just it goes boom and he goes bloody fucking hell

it was just you know that thing feels like you're getting a concussion when you shoot it uh i like it when non-gun guys shoot guns like like yeah i can respect the other side of the argument if you want to be a non-gun guy okay but i don't respect an other side of the argument no no you gotta come to the range and know what you're talking about they're so ignorant when it when when you have an anti-gun person uh they're just ignorant they don't know the laws they don't know the mechanics of guns they get everything wrong talking about uh everything they can't they can't talk about you knows, the clips, the fucking ghost gun. It's so fucking funny.

I will excuse the mag versus clip thing, and I probably did it myself. But when you start saying that Glocks were designed to pass through airport security metal detectors or something, it's like, oh, fuck off. That's not true. That's hilarious. I've never even heard that one. Oh, yeah. true. That's hilarious. I've never even heard that one. Oh yeah, no, because people don't know Glocks have some plastic in them,

but they're definitely mostly metal and they set off metal detectors for sure. Yeah, all those guns. Classic trade of guns, made of metal. Think of the gun that's all plastic. There's a lot of plastic.

A lot of energy. A lot of plastic in them, but there's still metal in there. The top slide is all metal, right? And the action is metal. But everything below that pretty much is plastic, right? Except for a little... You know, the whole handle part. Yeah, yeah.

The magazine is metal. The top slide is metal. All the action inside is metal. There's just a little plastic... Well, not a little, but the skeleton is The magazine's plastic. Wait, I'm not. Okay. Well, if you say so. Got a metal

spring. The barrel is actually a straw. It's a plastic straw that they The first 100% Yeah, you don't want to kill a turtle it's a are there any guns made like a hundred percent of plastic

i have every single bit in movies yeah all right there's like what's that clint eastwood movie where he's a secret yeah yeah he got that little thing that plastic gun double barreled like double barrel right right i yeah i was younger call me like 22 or something and my boss was a marine and uh a former marine anyway i saw a tv show where the guy made bullets out of ice and used that to kill someone with no forensic evidence ah there you go great idea so i went to my boss i was like would this work and that's when he knew i was stupid i've got an opening in it yeah that's always been one of those things where you know you stab someone to death with an icicle and yeah it just melts away there was a great uh

i think it was alfred hitchcock presents where this woman bludgeoned her husband with a roast, a frozen roast, and then during the course of the investigation just fed it to the police officers that were in the house. And she cooked it. They literally ate the evidence. Idiots. Pigs.

Awesome. I got to split, dudes. It's over, actually. Oh, is it? I got to split, dudes. Yeah, it's time over, actually. Oh, is it? I made it. Holy shit. What are you talking about that you're up to? Yeah. Compoundmedia.com.

We got a bunch of shows. Really funny. We're doing these Comedians of the Compound tour all over the country. Yeah, all the information you need is at compoundmedia.com. Cool. We have to stretch for 15 more seconds. Oh, shit.

I'm seeing seven. Thanks for coming on, though. We do appreciate you. Oh, I love you guys. Buy your comp pills. Link below. Buy the comp pills. PKA 566.