Painkiller Already - PKA 571 W/ Matt Farah: Boat Stolen in Thailand, Patreon Questions, Elon Musk Lies

Episode Date: November 27, 2021

pka 571 with our guest matt fair from the smoking tire taylor this episode of pka brought to you by feels cbd blue chew and smart mouth also limited time we've got some wonderful holiday merchandise coming out those links are below you can just hear hear the silver bells are ringing and the the red noses are lighting up it's just very high quality stuff. You're going to love it. People are going to say, man, that's an ugly sweater, but it's ironically ugly. You look good. Is that a real knit, ugly ass sweater that says PKA on it? Where can I get one?

And you'll say, Rudy's. It was limited time, so you're out of fucking luck. Maybe next year. And that's where you'll figure it out so check that link below if you're interested i'm sure you will i think kyle woody and i are all getting our uh our sweaters delivered soon i i told him that is literally the one of the ugliest sweaters i've ever seen like if you're if your goal the ugly sweater is to make something so ugly you would never wear it nailed it. The whole point of those is wearing them

to ugly holiday sweater parties. Is this a Hallmark thing where the ugly sweater industry, big ugly sweater, got together and created this nonsense of ugly sweater parties? It could be like Mother's Day where they just made it up in the early 1900s.

Have you never gone to an ugly sweater party? It's fun. That's why huge sections of like coals and shit they're assuming i have a lot more friends than i really wait wait wait it's circled through ironic cool because it started when they found you would find the old ugly sweaters that were like meant to be serious like your grandpa's ugly sweater yeah and then and then that those were like ew grandpa's ugly sweater. And then those were like, ew, and then people found them, and then it became a joke, and now they have commerce around it.

Yeah, I see. That makes more sense. Yeah, like when ironic cool circles back around into actual cool, like it happens in cars, too. Yeah. Wait, Taylor, did you a minute ago, did you just say that it was a made-up thing, just like Mother's Day? I said it could have been.

But wait, the idea that Mother's Day is a made-up holiday while all the others are like written down from Father Time or something? Like we didn't make up every fucking holiday? Mother's Day notoriously ripped off Father's Day. The only real holidays if you don't know the history

are Christmas and no not November those are the true holidays everything else is bullshit Chinese New Year bitch no that's fake it's made up by Hallmark I have an employee at my shop who's dating a Chinese girl and I was like oh are you doing anything for Thanksgiving he's my girlfriend's family doesn't celebrate

holidays I'm like wow they must fucking suck and he goes no they're Chinese and they only have one holiday and it's chinese new year and they don't they need to get on with the program that's what i'm saying they got to make up some shit like we have immigrant friends and they're all about christmas and thanksgiving and all our decadent holidays they are on the total wrong side of that and someone needs to set their whole family straight. The people who are 1 million percent on top of holiday management, Jewish people. Yes, you are welcome, my friend.

They totally take advantage of all of the Christian holidays. They're like, Christmas, that sounds great, cool. We're doubling up on it. And at the same time, they do all their own specific holidays. So if you're Jewish, you're just sprinkling holidays in every month. Every Jewish holiday is just, and here's another time that they didn't kill us. And here's another time that they didn't kill us. They're lamer than that.

It's like we dropped an egg that didn't break one time. Everyone gets off from work today. I mean, I've said it before. I don't care what it's celebrating. If I get the day off work and everybody can chill, it can be any day in the world. Yeah. Absolutely. Harvey Weinstein Day. That's a good one.

You know what? It's a Monday off. It's a Monday off. This is the day Cosby got found unguilty. No, we get his conviction and his release. Oh, you're right. Like Easter and Good release. Oh, you're right. Like Easter and Good Friday.

It's a good idea. This is a damn good idea. Someone tell Harmark. That's a good... There are holidays where we just, like, we're supposed to, like, sit around soberly, like, hmm, man, what a terrible person. It's good to reflect on that, but really we're getting cakes, candies, you know. We have one of those. It's except that you have to reflect on what a terrible person you are it's called

yom kippur that's the jewish guilt version of it yeah i'm really a piece of shit what is the genesis of yom kippur yom kippur oh it's the day of atonement so it's like basically like every friday in catholicism but we only have to do it once a year so there's literally no reason that that day is a special day uh based on something i mean it's it's uh it's like a week after jewish new year so i think you start you start the new year by reflecting on what a piece of shit you were the previous year uh you starve yourself for a day and then you feast at the end of it. And that's that's pretty much how it goes.

That's interesting. I remember being jealous of my like I played hockey with a few Jewish kids when I was young and they would. I was always like Hanukkah. So that's real. Like eight days of presents or whatever. And they're like, but don't don't believe what you hear. Christmas, you get like 15 presents all there my parents they get me one and so every year i'm capped to eight presents i had so my birthday is december 1st so my birthday most years would be right in the middle of hanukkah so i had the birthday hanukkah combo you know is that good or

bad it could go either way could go go either way. In the beginning, it was bad because I was really on a volume game. And then when I learned that I could kind of roll those all into one, you know, heavy hitter, then it was cool. Yeah. Then it was cool. Yeah. My, my Jewish friends growing up said that only the eighth day of Hanukkah got good presence. They're like, dude, I literally got a dreidel for Hanukkah tonight. That's bullshit. That was the thing. You'd get some pretty

janky shit. You'd get like Hanukkah related stuff. Pencils, erasers, stickers. Subway coupons. The chocolate coins. You've seen those? The chocolate coins. Those were a thing you would get.

I think... Why did I feel like the first night we always coins. You've seen those? The chocolate coins? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were a thing you would get. And then, I think... Why did I feel like the first night we always got better presents? But I could see how you could ramp it up to eight. Yeah, yeah. Really keep them on their toes. They start you off excited and then just six days of this is a bunch of fucking dreidels and nonsense.

And then you have to almost burn your house down every day. You know, it's perfect, really. Are you down every day. It's perfect. Can you tap it? That's not it. We've transmuted back. What the fuck, Habibi? Hold on. I don't know. I blame you entirely. Oh, that's horse shit. Now I am. How about now?

It's so beautiful. Beautiful. Write a comment praising me under this YouTube video that I got this fixed for you wait didn't Taylor fix it no you didn't I explicitly remember I explicitly remember I fixed

this Kyle gaslight with me gaslight with me everyone can we get a meeting that's just like good guy Taylor fix his audio problems that's what like good guy taylor fix it fix his audio problems what every comment is actually gonna be when when wood t refuses and have woody be like i like that audio what a classic woody statement He's notorious for being lax

Let them wait I could definitely Are there any other groups Are you guys good now I guess I had some fucking Janky ass USB When you get close to it Matt It's so sexy

It's better when I get really close. You're going to see this fat chrome dick in the shop. Look at everyone else in frame. Did you think that everybody else was just in a very small room and this was a decision based on square footage? If this gets me the best audio, I will do it.

Alright, alright, alright. I will get rid of the pretense that there isn't a giant microphone right in front of me. You know what the mic move is when you've gained a bunch of weight? It's boom. It's like a beard.

Right here. Yeah, you got a beard. Just cover the double chin. Just cover that shit right up. It's a pro gamer move. I don't know why it's a big deal. At my studio, like my actual podcast studio,

I have a big SM7B, like woody's and it's like it's i'm fucking right in front of my face but for some reason here at the house i'm like i don't i have to pretend like it's not here i don't know i don't know why it's a thing it's more professional here i wanted to ask another question is is hanukkah far and away the best jewish holiday or are there better ones that we don't uh are there better better ones? I didn't know they had presents in other ones. No, Hanukkah is the only gifts one. There's one called Purim, which is like the fall kind of festival, and there's like a feast involved.

It's not that cool, honestly. Thanksgiving's our second best one, generally. People will disagree, but it's the food. Oh, well, Passover is sort of the Jewish Thanksgiving. That's where they didn't kill us that time. That's the Pharaoh, the 10 plagues, the escape from Egypt, all that shit. That's where you killed them. That's where God came and took their firstborn.

Yes, God smited them in that one. Smoke them. They were smoot. God was ill that day. This ties into Taylor's theory of Jewish people having excellent holiday management. You guys have your own Thanksgiving. It's not like you're not celebrating Thanksgiving. Yeah.

No, you just doubled up. It's funny that we celebrate Thanksgiving because it's like genocide the other way. We celebrate both sides of different genocides. It's a celebration of American greatness. You're allowed to win, right? You're allowed to be bigger and stronger than your opponent. You're allowed to succeed. That's what Thanksgiving was all about.

Yes, you are allowed to distribute smallpox blankets. That's a lie. That's Big Red Man telling you lies. Like the gum company? Yeah, the gum company. It's a coincidence. The with native americans and the redskin thing or a giant member of the chewing gum company the chewing gum company has it out to pull the wool over your eyes they actually never did distribute those small pox blankets

oh really that's not true no it's not true that's that's big red man telling you lies it's that fucking gum don't get me started on on wriggly gum they're worse i mean they lose their faith they're anti-semite yeah anti-semites oh my god i just had to someone sent me a meme today that was horribly wrong and it was like here at ford we're proud of our founder henry ford and then there was the guy who was like here at volks, like looking the other way. I was like, I need to tell you something about Henry Ford, my friend. He started a magazine called The International Jew.

Did it sell well? Unfortunately. Was it about how great Jews were? I would imagine that it like failed. And then he's like, oh, I guess I'm getting into cars. Yeah. The Jew thing isn't going on. When I hear that magazine, I then he's like, oh, I guess I'm getting into cars. When I hear that magazine, I think it's for the Jew on the go.

It's like GQ magazine, but for Jews. The word the is what does it. If it was International Jew magazine, you could sort of see that as being an optimist by Jews or Jews like if it was a rabbi with like gold chains and like drinking scotch and like a cigar that would be international

that'd be like gq right right right yeah yeah like it was it's like a rabbi but in venice you know like in the canals like really having a nice time. Five years in a row, the rabbi on the cover is wearing the same outfit because rabbis do that. It was funny when you led into that, I was like, oh, he's clearly going to have the problem with the founder of Volkswagen. Yeah. And our founder, Mr. Volkswagen.

A very reclusive man, you know. Certainly not some other fellow no not the other founder we need a people's car what what's that sir people's car what's that sir this goes back to my thing about like bad people can have good ideas and it's foolish for us to stick our head in the sand. Henry Ford invented the automobile assembly line while also using the printing press to publish the International Jew. Two great ideas. First of all, the man was just trying to get the word out. Let's be honest here.

Second of all, he also invented charcoal, which everybody forgets. I'm very big on charcoal. I like the charcoal grill. I got some charcoal outside. I feel like charcoal was invented before him. I think so. I invent it every time I go camping.

Maybe it was just the briquette. Maybe it was just the quick light match. Well, see, he had so much leftover junk wood from making the cars, and he didn't know what to do with it because there's all these burn-ins and scraps and stuff. He marketed it as charcoal. Someone should have told him that charcoal is flammable.

He'd still use it. Like the jewel! The charcoal catches faster. Would you like to see my bar mitzvah bracelet? Oh, wow. $11,294, baby. Did you make bank on your bar mitzvah man i thought you were yeah have i never

told you that story i did make bank no i don't think so how was the bar i um i was not really into being jewish when i was younger like i was like not because like i you know whatever i wasn't like self-loathing but it was like i when i got sent to Hebrew school, when I was like eight, I was like, why does an all-knowing God not understand English? I was that level of inquisitive that religious leaders really don't like. They're not into that at all. They just want you to roll with it. Yeah, yeah. And so I didn't really want to have bar mitzvah.

I thought it was dumb. I still think it's kind of dumb but but eventually my dad was like um listen if you uh but if you do this you know for your mom you know because my mom is more jewish than my dad my dad doesn't really give a shit he goes if you do this for your mom it'll really make make your mother happy and once you're a man after the ceremony i will never make you go to temple again if you you don't want to, you have, you will have the choice. You'll never have to go back if you don't want to. And also we're going to have a party. We're going to invite all, you know, my, my friends, they're all going to give you money.

And I was like, okay, deal. And, uh, we had the party and I got a lot, a lot of money. I really did. And I couldn't touch it until I was 18. And it's a good thing, too, because when I was 13, I wanted a computer with a Pentium processor. And I would have fucking spent all of it on that shit. And I ended up being able to buy a car when I was 18. And it was a nice car. I took out all the money

and bought a Corvette. Jesus Christ, that's way better than the birthday. It was. And my mom got really pissed when I came home with this Corvette, and my dad stood up for me, and he was like, no, no. He did the bar mitzvah. He got the money. He didn't touch it until he was 18.

And then he said i will cover the insurance for six months and then you're fucking on your own covering the insurance 18 year old with a red corvette uh but yeah i i actually i actually did get did get a bunch of money for it i thought that's awesome so jewish kids get a lot of money at 13 years old for their bar mitzvah some do not all Not all do, but some do. Christian kids get less money, but they get it at like two months old for their christening. So the move is, when you're two months

old, invest it wisely. Buy Bitcoin at two months old. Right, right. You just make some smart decisions at two months, and then by the time you're 18, the money can be roughly equivalent. Wait, was I supposed to get christening money? I was sitting here thinking the same shit. I didn't get a dime

of so-called christening cash. I wasn't even baptized. $1,300 or so for christening. Yeah, if you rolled that into 10 years, 12 years of... This is important life advice. Both our kids got a grand $1,300 for their christening money.

That is what we use to start their college accounts. And, you know, it just grows from there. So if you're new parents, like so many of our listeners, do that. Take off your kids' college accounts with whatever money you get in the christening gifts. Yeah, just be Christian and Jewish. Wrap it up, you tards. I've met half of you. No.

No. But then there's also the other side of it where once you're like an adult now matt probably feels like pressured for when your friends are having their bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs that you're like i don't want to i don't want to be cheap i gotta throw them a decent amount right well i don't have any friends who have kids old enough yet but i will not be stingy when it comes to that i will i will be a heavy hitter i got you know where this bar mitzvah my dad was in the fashion business um he was and this was actually this bracelet was actually a gift from ralph lauren which was uh which is pretty cool um damn there was some heavy hitters at my bar mitzvah my you know your parents

were like it's like you're the kids you go to school with and then your parents friends and my parents friends were they had some heavy hitters up in that bitch. Did they have a big party for you? We had a pretty big party. It seemed really baller at the time. But one of my grandparents, my last grandparent, passed away two years ago. And I got her copy of my Bar Mzvah album was sent to me. And I looked through the pictures.

It turns out not that baller, honestly. It was not as baller in hindsight as I really thought it was at the time. Everything looked bigger back then. There was a couple. Was all it? Everything looked bigger back then. Right. My theme was sailing.

I couldn't have been whiter. I was the whitest person sailing sailing themed bar mitzvah yeah but there was some kids who i went to school with where i remember them being fucking crazy i mean whole whole set pieces um one was a place called chipriani in new york city which if you've ever heard of it is like a seriously baller spot on 42nd Street. One was at the Rainbow Room, which is above Rockefeller Center with the revolving center fucking thing. I mean, there was some serious heavy hitters. I went to school with the kids of some really terrible people.

I went to school with Annie and David Sackid sackler you might know their father richard yes they love pushing opium into the country yeah who uh was the was the oxycontin guy there's now that show dope sick about him on uh oh no hulu which i can't recommend highly enough it's very depressing but very good and basically everyone who crashed the economy in 2008, I went to school with all of their children. So it was, yeah, it was interesting. I went to a bunch of bar and bar. I grew up in New Jersey. So it was every weekend probably, right?

Dude, I don't even know how many I went to. Yeah. I'm not sure. It's not a ton ton, but like eight. I don't know. I went to a very Jewy school and they had to publish the schedule, you know, so that everyone could go to everyone else's. And there was probably like 30, 40 a year

that you would go to. It was a bunch. Some of them were really nice, although I don't remember like how nice, right? Because I have this distorted perspective. I remember some had ice sculptures, which I thought was pretty neat. Yeah, ice sculpture.

That was a defining line. Yeah. But what we liked the most were the elevators like we were just dumb ass children who would go up and down the elevators constantly and it would like that was the coolest thing so easily entertained yeah yeah i remember a couple of super baller ones the rest of them pretty much blended into uh into one deal one i had there was one really religious kid and the ceremony was like three and a half hours long. And you were like, why did I agree to come? Thumbs down.

Yeah, that's what I didn't know that so much of it was like up to the individual person being bar mitzvahed or whatever, because like the one that stuck out to me the most. Like, yeah, the kid apparently has a little bit of leeway of like how much they want to do. Like there is a minimum amount of reading Hebrew you can do. And I thought it was going to be more of the pace. The first time I went to one, like I thought it was going to be more the pace of a baptism because I'd seen baptism. Baptism, that's like a car wash in and out. Like it's so quick that the priest or pastor, whoever they're going to say a couple of words, dunk the kid, dry them off. There's a prayer at the end. You're home. This like it was a guy on my hockey team and i remember sitting there and he got maybe 20 25 minutes into chanting hebrew and i'm like this isn't gonna end anytime soon and all the i was one of the only kids there like

apparently like my parents wanted me to go like oh it'd be cool to experience like the jewish custom thing all the other kids got to go straight to the party afterward oh really other than like oh really not everyone oh it was sort of unwritten where you if you were going to go to the party you had to go to the ceremony you know one really got to do one one without the other well then i'm glad that i wasn't the dickhead because i didn't realize it well you know there's like levels of judaism right so there's like reform which is kind of like the modern you know go to temple for a couple holidays a year and don't do much else yeah then you've got the conservative which is like yeah uh you start to like keep kosher and maybe you go to temple every day you know and maybe you do the sabbath day i'm sorry every week excuse me okay and then you uh and maybe you do sabbath

where you don't you know you don't fucking use your phones and shit. And then there's Orthodox, which is like where you really are fucking hardcore. And the girls are wearing terrible skirts and stuff like that. Men are wearing yarmulkes. And then you have the Hasidim, which is like the fucking curls and the trench coats. They go hard. Yeah, they're really smelly. They don't show.

Was conservative the popular one around you? For me, most of my people were reform. And reform is good. A reform bar mitzvah is about the length of a wedding. It's like 25, 30 minutes of ceremony. The kid is usually speaking the Torah portion, not like chanting it. If they're chanting you're

probably into into conservative you're probably have you ever heard the old tapes of howard stern doing that that chanting thing like singing the song and everything like for whatever reason his horrible parents recorded it and so he has the whole ceremony and he's played it on the air before and his voice is so high pitch because you know he's like he has 13 and it's the air before and his voice is so high-pitched because you know he's like he has and it's this high pitch and i can't duplicate it but he's singing the whole thing and in hebrew and it's yeah it goes on and on and on and he just lets it play and and the longer it goes the more awkward and embarrassing it's almost like a family guy bit where it just like goes It's almost like a family guy bit where it just goes from there. It's one of those Conway Twitty too long bits. See, I'm from the South, so I didn't meet a Jew until I was a man grown.

Did you think they had horns? Because that would be funny. I had no concept of what a Jew even was. The only information that I had came from my grandmother on her refrigerator. There was a sticker or there was a magnet that said, I like where this is going. Yeah, I know, right? Oh, shit, what does it say?

The only good Jew in the world. Beware! No, it said, my God is a Jewish carpenter. Oh, yeah. And just what we heard from the Bible about the Hebrews and stuff like that. But I never met a Jew. I couldn't understand why anybody just liked them so much. Yeah, we're cool. We're fun. Yeah. And, and, and, and I still really don't

understand quite, quite so much. I mean, a little, I guess it is the ongoing hatred of Jews. It is, it is weird. But I didn't have to do any chanting though. I did. What I did instead was I played the shofar, which is the, the curly Ram's horn trumpet. I could do that. Cause I, I played saxophone and trumpet when I was a kid. So I,

I blew the shofar and that was, that was as really as Jewish. I certainly see everything I know about this comes from Seinfeld and like, like, like the Larry David show and stuff like that. So no, no experience with, with any of this. See, and even most of my I've got a few Jewish friends now, and I thought the other day

I was like, wait a minute, aren't I essentially a Jew? Me and this guy do the exact same thing. He doesn't go to temple. He eats pork. I've never met a Jew who didn't eat pork. I do you i mean i i do know i do know a few who like not that i hang out with regularly but people i grew up with and went to school with who who kept kosher which kosher is dumb in 2021 but kosher like in 300 bc probably kept a bunch of people alive. It probably kept back... It was like science.

Shit that would kill you if it wasn't refrigerated. You shouldn't eat. Pork has lots of parasites and shellfish can't be trusted. It did make some sense at some point thousands of years ago. It's pretty dumb now. My Arabic friend, even him,

he's just like... He doesn't have a lot of experience with uh with pork it seems like just like listening to him talk but he's had bacon and that's all he needed to know that's all he needs to know like he's never had like a ham steak or like good yeah he's never had like a big like honey baked ham or anything i don't think it's but he's had the best part about being jewish is that all you have to do you don't have to learn hebrew you don't have to have bar to do, you don't have to learn Hebrew. You don't have to have a bar mitzvah. You don't have to go to temple. You don't have to do anything.

If you call yourself a Jew in public, that's good enough for 99.9% of other Jews. It really is. And so I don't do anything religious at all. I don't give a shit. All I do is I wear this bracelet, which I've worn for going on almost 30 years, and I make the food. I love to cook Jewish food.

I like to cook Jewish food for my friends because it's fucking delicious. Honestly, it's not for any reason besides it tastes very good. So I cook the food, and that made my grandparents happy and my mother happy enough. And so, you know, whatever.

And I still haven't gone to a temple, except for my little sister's bat mitzvah. Since mine, I have not set foot in a temple. Keep that street going, man. That stuff's boring. I can't believe. I mean, it just really sounds like you're in a club, some sort of finance club is what it comes down to.

It seems like that's how most Jews treat Judaism. It's like a kind of a racket they got going on. Well, if you go to a lot of country clubs in the Northeast, it's basically the same thing. A holiday racket. They're racking up all these weekends, these three-day weekends. Yeah. Just getting together, taking over the media.

You know, the usual. The normal part and parcel yeah i mean kyle based on what match has said statistically we could jump in fake it cashing on all those sweet ass holidays and if anyone anyone ever asks a question and is like kyle are you even jewish you're like that's unbelievably anti-semitic you know that's it that's you do you have it the one thing i didn't do that i wish I did is a thing called birthright. You ever hear of birthright? Yeah, you get a free vacation to Israel.

You get a free vacation to Israel. All you have to do is be under 26 years old and say you want it. Even if you're a felon? I don't see why not. They're a forgiving people. Right? see why not uh they're a forgiving people right i mean i think they're probably going to require some sort of evidence before they shell out a few grand for you i'll do that whole thing kramer did in that episode of or no george did in the episode is i'll become an orthodox

yeah yeah i'll go full orthodox uh whatever the fuck you want latvian orthodox yeah the lure what is so in ruling the church talk 20 minutes what happens on the birthright that they really don't tell you because they pitch it beforehand like you know you're gonna go learn about your history and whatever when you get there what really happens is that they encourage you to have sex with other jews it's indoctrination into literally making more Jews. So they actually encourage you to bone on the trip. I mean, it's really, it's very funny, the whole thing. Do women go for this? Great.

Yes. Huh. Because I have found it's not difficult to convince guys to have sex. Well, it's about having guys that convince guys to have sex with Jewish girls. My inner monologue sounds just like Fred Savage. And it's just like, and that's the moment he realized he was a Jew. I have a thing to say. It is a fun religion.

If you don't, if you don't actually take it that seriously. And they're not, and if they're not trying to exterminate you that year. That's how most Catholics are. It's fun for most of them because they go twice a year. Religion's great when it doesn't matter at all.

It's completely irrelevant to your life. It's great. Is it identity I don't have to do anything for? Okay. Kyle, you mentioned the felon thing. Does that really impact your international travel? Oh, massively, yes. You said you couldn't go to Mexico.

I can't go almost anywhere. You can't go to Canada for sure. You would think Mexico would be felon-friendly. You would think Canada would be weed-felon-friendly. I had a friend who got found out in canada and he somehow made it into canada and they found out while he was there that he was a felon and they didn't let him stay i mean here's a question how hard is it to like get into canada if you know what i mean you just sneak in it's just a bunch of woods like like couldn't i just

walk across and be up there and be chilling? Yes. Yeah, it seemed like you would have to go out of your way to go towards one of the main entrances. There must be smaller ones. Yeah, like little ones. Like a little back door or something into Canada. What do you think they'd do if they catch a felonious individual like myself?

They'd just slap you on the wrist and send you on back home, right? They're not going to lock me down in some sort of canook. My friend, they literally made him leave right then and there. They made him go back to Detroit. They're not going to send me to the maple syrup mines, are they? Have me mining away for maple syrup. You're enslaved to making maple syrup.

Some guard riding a moose fucking whipping me. That would be intimidating. A guard riding a moose. Yeah, it'd be like 75 feet tall. But he's really apologetic about having to whip me. Actually, Mexico will take you, Kyle. Holy shit, really? Yeah, you can go to Mexico, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Venezuela,

European countries, South Africa, and Thailand. This sounds like a great fucking vacation, to be honest with you. Every one of those places rules. South Africa, that's on the up. Have you guys ever been? It's very fucking cool. I think it's beautiful. It's a really, really cool place to go.

I need to go. Thailand I recommend also. That's also fucking cool. I'm looking at how much the flights cost to Thailand. They're not that expensive. If you want to go to Phuket, you don't really need to go to Bangkok. Of course. And then you jump on a boat and you sail around Ao Chulong Bay.

It rules. Everyone knows to go to Phuket. I don't think you understand that Kyle is planning a sexcation. No. I see. But a straight one. You know what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

No, I'm just curious. When I went, it was a couple years ago, but it was not that expensive. It was a pretty cheap, exotic... Flights are kind of cheap now. Hawaii was $500 from me. Nice. Hawaii is apparently a bit hostile towards tourists right now i had

some uh some some friends who went on like a a car rally thing in hawaii and the locals were super fucking mean to them um i think it was mainly for like covid related reasons i think they were trying to keep the tourists out for that. Hawaii locals are always aggressive. In the surfing world, it's been like that since I was young. When Jesus was young. Because of colonialism? No, they just hate sharing Hawaii. They feel like

it is theirs and that all these white people have a term for white people. Hallies. Yeah, I think it is Hallie. All the Hallies come. They fucking hate you and they fucking hate you. And they will beat you up if you catch a wave that they wanted. Jesus Christ.

So what needs to be done with Hawaii is they need to be invaded again because they forgot what happened the last time. We need to have some more pineapple wars down there and crack some skulls open, redistribute some wealth, I think, because they've forgotten which team they're on. Those dirty, dirty savages. Those despicable billionaire indigenous people.

Living down there in their golden castles. With their moats full of diamonds. That's your picture of the locals in Hawaii. Yeah. Drunken failures of people. We just need a big wave. Pork and pineapples, baby. All lot of pork. Pork and pineapples, baby. All you can eat, pork and pineapples.

So the flight to Thailand round trip is $2,300. And that's like main cabin. Really? But the only other option is the Delta... I don't even know what you call it. The thing where you get a bed.

And that's $13,000. Fuck out of here. Isn't that jizz biz money, Kyle? I've got enough jizz biz money to easily cover a bed to Thailand, but I'm just saying I don't think it's worth it. I haven't been keeping up. Care to describe the jizz biz?

Oh. Oh, God, he's going for a jar. we have a product here it's called lock and load and just just just nine small capsules per day uh and and you too could come like a champion this is really increase your your volume um your libido it's going to improve blood flow uh you have better stronger longer orgasms and it was formulated right here on this podcast. As you can see, it's an official PK product. It's fucking hilariously effective. You will come two or three times more than you normally do. And the propulsion.

People don't talk about this. And I know our audience is young. Velocity. What happens as you age is your athletic ability is taken from you when you're not looking. You're like, yeah, I'm really good at whatever. Fucking front handsprings. That's a genuine example for me and then sometime in my 30s i tried a front handspring like i always did and it was like ah when i wasn't looking that was removed from my repertoire the propulsion on your jizz changes as well what used to be

normal right when you shoot over her show. Accidental facial, right? You go for her belly and it just goes. That changes. Kyle was on the show, call it three months ago, making fun of porn stars that didn't have massive ejaculate with real velocity and staying power. I blinded a small child last week. And I'm like, shit, I think he's talking about me.

Well, no more. No more. Now I come like a 17-year-old. Wow. Well, I'm proud of you, Kyle. And I think you should reward yourself with a vacation to Thailand. Bring a couple cases of that and really shock some of the locals. You can be one of those people that starts a myth.

Like that tribe we were talking about that thought that white guy that showed up was God. Yeah. You're going to be a legend in Thailand. Indeed, you could be a legend in Thailand. Americans have massive muscles and they shoot their Gs four and a half feet. His balls were so small, though. He said it was the cost of his muscles. Who was I to dispute him?

It made no sense. I almost lost a yacht in Thailand. It was fucking crazy. How'd you do? Okay, what happened? So I chartered a sailboat. I like to sail because I'm real white. And I chartered a sailboat with my friends.

And when you charter a sailboat with my friends. And, you know, when you chart a sailboat from this company, the moorings, they give you a book of, like, pretty specific instructions. Like, when you go to this bay, anchor here in seven meters of water, not here or here or here, here. And, like, it's pretty idiot proof because we're all fucking idiots and so i've never been to thailand so i i have no choice but to listen to the book but one of my friends is like no no we should really anchor over there and i'm like i don't know why i agreed to this but i i did so we

anchor and um we're at a place called kofi fiidon, which is like the Thai party island. It's a fucking real party island, and it's shaped like an H, and if you were looking at an H, the south U, the upside down U, is where the boats are anchored, and the right side up U is a very pretty beach. And the bridge across the middle is the town.

So we go, we go, we anchor the boat and we take the dinghy in and we're fucking partying. This is, this is like, uh, it's like where like Russians and Australians and australians and thai go to like fucking party like we go to this club and there's like a literal written menu of drugs that you could that they will bring to you

it's like mushrooms and mdma and coke and i mean like basically anything you can think of so we order up some mushrooms and some weed and we're drinking and we're getting super fucked up and having a great time and, you know, you know, talking to girls and whatever the fuck we're doing. And all of a sudden, not all of a sudden, but like at like two thirty in the morning, this like big wind comes in. It's a big windstorm. And we're like, oh, this is fucking awesome. It's wind and yeah, rock and roll. and uh we're like oh this is fucking awesome it's wind and yeah like rock and roll and and then at like you know 4 30 in the morning we go back to where the boat should be on the dinghy and it's fucking gone it's gone there's no boat and we're all on drugs we're all fucked up and we're just

like oh jesus like maybe have we have we messed up Like what? So we go back to shore and we thought that maybe because we'd anchored in the wrong place that they had towed our boat as if there are rules in Thailand, which there are most certainly not. And, and my one smart idea, we go to the police station and we think about the kind of police coverage they have on this tiny little island at 4 30 in the morning you know as someone who does not speak english and i'm trying to like draw of what the fuck is going it's ridiculous uh but the the the the police station was off

to sort of the side of the island looking at the harbor from a different angle than from where you would see it from the dock. And the one smart thing I did was I wanted to make it look like people were on the boat so that nobody would steal from us. So I left all the lights on on the boat. From the police station, you could see way the fuck out in the ocean and you could see a boat with lights on. And it's illegal to sail in Thailand after dark. It's like a thing. So you have to be an anchored by dark.

So we realize like, hey, I think that's our boat, like way the fuck out there. And we go back to the harbor and we find these wasted fishermen, like whiskey on a dinghy. And we give them. I mean, I don't know. I don't remember how much money it was. It was like a couple hundred dollars. Oh, no. And we're like, please take us out there.

Yeah. So we hop in this fucking shit pile dinghy you know and we get like two thirds of the way out there and we determine that yes, that is our boat. It is not where we fucking left it.

And this dinghy runs out of gas. I'm like, I'm just like losing my shit like you know i'm losing my shit and because i'm a nice person and i have generally decent karma another fucking dinghy comes by and it's americans and i'm like please our fucking boat is we're out of gas. Like, and I, we had a red solo cup and I was like, can we please? So I, whatever was in the cup, we poured out and we siphoned like this much gas and we poured it carefully into this shit box thingy. And it got us out to our boat and the Fisher, the drunk fishermen helped us navigate the boat back to where we were

supposed to be and because it was too dangerous to anchor they allowed us to raft the boat which means tie it up alongside the their bigger like 60 foot commercial fishing boat and we spent the night there and in the morning we were like so fucking embarrassed like we wake up and we're like tied to this fishing boat. So on your way out to the boat, so clearly you just didn't anchor the boat properly or tie it off properly? We did not anchor the boat properly, and the wind blew it off anchor. See, what I would be, was there ever the thought in your head as you're dinging out to your boat that our boat has been stolen by Thai pirates? And right now there are two to five Thai pirates on our boat,

partying, celebrating their newest venture. And we are about to fight five Thai pirates at night. I don't know. I actually don't. I think we went into some real potential danger by not considering that. Honestly. Cause that's where I thought the story,

I was afraid. Like I was like, what was really amazing was that it made it all the way out there without hitting anything yeah because there were some other boats in between where it was and where it fucking ended up and it didn't hit anything and that was really really lucky and the anchor was still there so it ripped the anchor out of the ocean floor, but it didn't rip it off the boat. So the anchor was going to dong, dong, dong,

dong, dong, dong along some of the ocean floor, which kept it. It didn't, it slowed it down. It didn't, it didn't,

you know, and if we, but if we partied one more hour, fucking this thing was gone. And with everything we owned on it, I mean, with everything, who knows where the fucking thing would

have when you said you stopped in the middle i i thought like oh they're about to get like hustled for like a grand or something oh man well we already we gave them the amount of money we gave them was enough for these guys to live on for like a month i mean we gave them a new dingy no problem we gave them real drunk white people money. I mean, it was just like, take everything. Just get us to the fucking boat. And it was real sheepish and embarrassing. I mean, they had a great morning. Those guys were stoked.

They're just trashed, making more money than they make in weeks. Yeah. They had to drive a bunch of retards out too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They weren't very good at their jobs. Man, we weren't very good at being tourists. We fucked up.

So after that, I was straight by the book. And I've charted other boats in other places since then. And I tell everybody when we get there, like, listen, we are not second-gu second guessing this book for one second because it will be horrible if we do finn do you want to come up do you get seasick matt no no i love i love the motion of the ocean i do not it doesn't bother me either really yeah every time i've been on one like when it's been like pitching i'm always like when are people like gonna get sick when's it normal to get sick?

And then people will start vomiting. No, it just doesn't really bother me. I'm lucky. Most of the charter boats now are catamarans. They're not as nice to sail, but they're really dope to live on. They're fucking big and really comfy. And they stay flatter and more stable. And so you're less likely to,

why aren't they as nice to sail? Uh, so this gets into some real sailing nerdery, but, um, a monohull boat, traditional sailboat, um,

you know, you can't sail directly into the wind, right? You can sail side wind, you can sail downwind with the wind, and you can sail really anything in between. But sort of the mark of a great boat is how close you can sail to the wind. And a monohull boat can probably sail about 15 degrees off the wind. So if you're trying to go upwind, you would zigzag and it would kind of look like this.

Catamarans, because they have shorter keels, you know, the fin underneath the boat, they have shorter keels, they're less effective, and so they can only sail about 30 degrees off the wind. So instead of doing this, you're doing this. So when you're going upwind, it takes you way longer to get there by sail so two holes don't serve as a keel i guess i would have felt they have like short keels um but they

but the one long keel of a monohull is more effective than the two short keels what's that thing kevin costner had in water world that's? That's a trimaran. That's three hulls. They're fucking kind of cool actually. You see some really, really wild designs and there's some, you know, the new like all computer designed yachts and stuff. If you look up some of

the like mega yacht trimarans and stuff there's some really, really bananas James Bond shit going on. That's cool. and they're fast he had that like kite sail that he would launch out of the cannon right yeah yeah he did have that but so the have you seen like what the newest like america's cup boats are have you looked at any of that kind of stuff so if you were to google like the current generation america's cup boats they're um hydrofoils so they rise out of the water like those

foil boards, but they're sailboats. And the sails are not even cloth anymore. They're carbon fiber wings, like a vertical airplane wing. And they are fucking fast. I mean, they go like 40, 50 miles an hour. It looks absurd. I'm looking

at it. They're insane, right? It looks like science fiction. Yeah, that's a cup boat now. It's just in the fucking air. It's not a boat. That is a plane. You can't fool me. The only way I can believe this is

if in my mind I'm like, it's about to come down. On the next thing. Here's how you know it's hardcore. Those guys on that boat are wearing helmets. That's what I was about to say. Not just helmets. They look like Power Rangers. What are they wearing?

Dude, I really recommend watching some of the video coverage of the America's Cup because these fucking things rip. They are so fast,'t they fucking capsize like they're they're really kind of on the edge to sail and they capsize and send people fucking flying i mean it's really it's gotten very dangerous i bet that they had no idea how many people watched these yeah full carbon what is that thing on the right that wing so that's the hydrofoil so you can see what what you're looking at the one one on the right, it's adjustable. So it's actually lifted up right now to reduce the drag.

And you can only see the horizontal one. The one on the left is lowered, and it's in the water. And so the whole boat is sitting on just the load of that port side. The wind is coming from the right. Yeah. Crazy, isn't it? It's super. What are they cranking down there? When they're bending down, just going

like this, what are they doing? The winches. Those are these guys. Those are connected to the winches that trim the sails. They're just connected to ropes. On your average sailboat, the winch looks like a drum, and you'd crank it like this. By doing it this this way it's just a faster uh way to do it yeah the winching you can

tell this is like physically strenuous because there are no fat people on any of these races i'm watching these are they're like fit like yeah you watch a bobsled team at the olympics you're like oh they're just getting a bobsled and go it's like no those guys are fucking yoked they're shredded like low body fat they figured out the exact body you want to luge and they have like smaller versions of those types of boats like they have like what um some really like there's like a boat called an international 14 um and there's some smaller dinghy foil boats where it's like a two-person boat and they're standing you know you use you have to use your body weight to counter the wind and so they're on these things called trapezes which

hang which where you're hanging down off the sails and you're standing on like scaffolding and you're you're well the fuck off the hull of the boat you're just like in the air it's very very wild sailing is very like it still doesn't look real like kevin costa remember when he was hanging yeah well i used to do this thing when i would rate i used to when i was a kid race on big boats i was like a you know a pretty big dude so i was a a winch guy on a on a crew of like not one of these crazy fucking boats but like a nice a faster faster, you know, sailboat. And I would do this thing called spinnaker flying, which is the, the big balloony sail. When you go downwind, you know, when you go upwind, you've just got the two sails.

And then when you go down, when they fly the big balloon sail in the front and that's called the spinnaker. And so the spinnaker has a pole on one side and then a rope on the other side. And you use the pole to spread the sail out. Well, somebody gets to hang from the pole. And that was my favorite shit ever. And you would be up there and you would physically hold the sail open while hanging out, you know, 20 feet in the air over the ocean. So if you get Google a picture of Spinnaker flying, you get a guy hanging,

hanging up in the air. And that's like, that's one of the most fun things you can do it's basically like uh parasailing but you've got something to do have you done any long sails i did an atlantic crossing once whoa yeah not by myself but on a on a bigger boat with like 12, 13 people. It's weird. It's cool, but it's weird. It's like not seeing land for a long time is weird. And long sail is just the traditional looking one. Like if I were to imagine a sailboat. It was just a big, yeah, it was a big. That's spinnaker fly.

No, that guy's like on vacation. That guy's just like hanging there like a swing. I think this is like recreational spinnaker fly because when I was Googling, there was places you can go to do this for fun. Oh yeah, I bet. I bet, yeah. If it was in a race,

what would you call that? That doesn't look stable, what that guy's doing. Well, they're not, he's not, I don't think that person's going anywhere. I think that boat is on anchor and they're just hanging out there. Yeah. It doesn't look like, I don't see why one side wouldn't dump the air out of it.

I don't see like, is he carefully managing the two? Does he very skilled? It looks like a tourist. It might be. I've, I've never actually seen someone do that, but I mean, what's the worst thing that happens? You fall in the ocean. I mean, who cares? Probably.

All right. Yeah, probably. Well, I mean, it probably the worst can that happens? You fall in the ocean? I mean, who cares? Probably all right. Yeah, probably. Well, I mean, probably the worst can be a swing. What would be very weird about that picture is that the boat looks like it's faced downwind, and so a boat on anchor would be faced into the wind, which would, you'd do that off the other

side of the boat, so that might be some kind of staging there. Not really sure. But, yeah. Atlantic crossing was on a 78 foot sailboat it was a more traditional you know mono hull big big sailboat yeah were you like a crew member on that ship yeah yeah i had very little responsibility besides uh doing so where did you go in europe i guess europe it was in uh england to to long island basically oh you came home we went yeah we went uh we went west uh yeah wow that's awesome that's

a really cool trip that's yeah he's always wanted to do that and that might be the way to do it if you think about it is to fly there and sail back i i can't remember what the reason i don't i think they go both they go both ways i'm not sure it matters but you can do i mean there's um there's a lot of opportunities to sail you know you could sail to bermuda you can sail to you know whatever it's not hardcore enough okay well what he didn't you want to do it alone or am i making that up uh alone what he wants to do with as few people as possible solo would be the coolest way to do it but start to go fucking a little crazy right a little volleyball a handprint on it something matt tell me if i'm right about this they're

like i'm pretty sure there are websites where people just seek out crew and of course the horn dogs fucking typically want like 21 year old girls but some people just actually want crew they'd rather not be alone and you can be like all right you know here's a website well i don't know the website but i mean there there is facebook pages and shit like that for like yacht crew for sure where you can employ people and i mean there's i met um, we chartered a boat in Tahiti in the beginning of 2020, right before fucking lockdown. Oh, there you go. Crewseekers.net. There you go.

Um, we, uh, and, and we met some people in Tahiti that were like the senior citizen couple and they work for the yacht charter company and all they do their whole life is shuttle yachts all over the world where they're needed so they were there in tahiti and they were on a boat that they had just sailed from the caribbean and it was like 35 days you know at sea through the panama canal and out across the pacific ocean yeah it seemed like a nice retirement they had a lot of books they had like 50 books uh they had a bunch of extra drums of fuel because they were motor sailing they weren't doing pure sailing and see people like raising young families on on youtube there's a couple of courses sailing lavagabond who's been on the show but there are others who were like homeschooling their kids on these small yachts sailing around the world. And I kind of want to fast forward 15 years and see how the kids turn out.

Are they amazing people with this worldly experience that you don't get out of high school? Are they weird homeschool kids? I would bet that they're more the former i i bet that they because it's they're not like purely on the boat and not interacting with other humans you know those folks go to ports they go you know they don't just um stay in the middle of the ocean you know they'll they'll go from place to place and spend a couple of weeks or months, you know, living on their boat, but at the dock. And when we travel, we see those kinds of people on yachts that are clearly being lived on full time. And I would bet that they develop very interesting perspectives.

You know, I think they're probably really interesting folks. I'm kind of open-minded about like alternative ways to raise a family i didn't do it but you know if it's your thing like i'm here for it let's see how it turns out you don't have to do it there's no rules on this yeah no like i i don't know when i see people doing it like yeah we're doing something different we're gonna homeschool our kids responsibly we're gonna make sure they know algebra but we're also taking them all around the fucking planet by sailboat. I bet those kids come out more normal than you'd think with very open minds and interesting perspective. Maybe, yeah.

Like, what's so great about a fucking eighth grade in rural Alabama? Nothing. Eighth grade anywhere. It sucks. Yeah. rural alabama nothing eighth grade anywhere it sucks yeah the alternative is you know thailand and tahiti and bali and africa and india and whatever the fuck you know we went to eighth grade in new jersey it didn't make me great like you know if someone else did it going from tahiti to australia to freaking turkey then like maybe their experience is at least as good

the homeschool thing was almost like self-fulfilling in a way because like the kids like in my high school that would come from homeschool that like played sports a lot and they were in public activities they just kind of seamlessly moved in because it's like oh there's timmy he plays on our soccer team hey oh you go to school here now that's awesome oh yeah we're gonna hang out this weekend it was the homeschool kids that were like locked up home. No public sports. No exposure. That just talked to their mom all day.

Those were the weird ones. And it made you go like, oh, Jill is super noticeable. All these homeschool kids are weird. And it's like, no, but Tim and Sam and Sarah, they're normal. I don't think it's nearly as bad as people think. As long as you give them lots of extracurriculars. True, true. So we used to go on these long cruises.

So every so often they move the cruise ship. They'll be like, all right, we do cruises in Florida, but now we're doing them in the Mediterranean. And you can be on that cruise that relocates from Florida to the Mediterranean. We would do that. You meet interesting people on that, the kind of people who take an expensive cruise

in three weeks off. Yeah, yeah. And one of the families we met they were a traveling bunch of actors their source of income was to go to like small towns nursing homes stuff like that and perform shakespeare and they lived in an rv where they homeschooled their kids they called them them road scholars. Get it? And I don't know. They were an interesting group of people. We met. They actually came and performed in North Carolina

not a year or two later, and we synced up with them and saw the family again. But it's cool. If that's your bag, doing something new, doing something a little different and raising your kids in a more open way, I give it a thumbs up. So they have a new

yacht that's being built right now. And this is at the probably other end of the economic spectrum. And this yacht is the biggest and longest super yacht ever built. And it has 39 apartments

in it. Condos. What's it called? I want to look it up. Oh, fuck. I'll find it. Condos. What's it called? I want to look it up. Oh, fuck. I'll find it. Hang on. It's 39 apartments in it, and each one is longest. The Azam? Yeah, here it is.

It's called Somnio. S-O-M-N-I-O. And it has these apartments in it. And you can buy the apartments starting at $11 million. Ooh, that's not so bad. So this boat will just full-time be circling the world. And you fly into wherever the nearest major city is and then chopper to the boat and you have an apartment on the boat. It's yours permanently.

And I mean, imagine $11 million for an apartment on a like you could buy a sick fucking yacht for 11 million like the sickest yacht for 11 million dollars you know what i mean but has it been successful like have they found enough buyers to make this thing float and travel and like because well they're building it i mean they are they're building the boat yeah the boat that that photo was a rendering but they are they are building these buildings get halfway built and ships. It might end up in some other direction. Yeah. I mean, one of the 728-foot Somneo $600 million vessel.

You seem interested. No, dude. If I was going to have a boat, it would be something that I could use that would be big enough to live on for a week or two at a time, but small enough that I could manage it pretty much by myself. I don't want to be paying a crew under 50 for sure. My pops has a 48-foot powerboat. He doesn't like to sail, but he's got a 48-foot powerboat. foot power boat he does he doesn't like to sail but he's got a 48 foot power boat and i can manage that totally by myself and i've lived on it for a week and a half at a time and that's that's about right yeah so i would fuck with that i mean it looks awesome i mean i know those are just

renderings and that's oh it looks insane yeah yeah yeah and i mean the the the mega yacht space right now, what we've seen economically in the last two years is the folks who have are really spending. And so we've seen insane yacht builds that have been finished and delivered. and delivered. And it's 300 footers. And I mean, just the fucking craziest shit that people are doing with their boats. And I talked to a guy, I have a friend, I'm kind of a watch nerd. So I know this guy, Simon Wolf,

who has a company called Wolf Watch Winders. And they're those things that oscillate and they keep your watches wound. And he's talked to me about people who build into their yachts a 300 watch winder cabinet which is like i mean if you think about the implications of all that you know it's like oh my god they're not putting fucking timex's in there i know just a huge amount of money to commit he's like think about the implications of that and i'm like that is some complicated furniture he's right yeah no i'm talking about probably you know these watches are a hundred a hundred thousand to a million dollars each of them you know the

furniture so is the furniture yeah that's probably, that unit's probably $2 million. I'd be so scared it would sink all the time when I wasn't there. But the problem, now maybe I'm thinking of this wrong. Maybe I'm just not good at delegating. But if I had a, whatever, 100-meter yacht, big yacht to me. So that's a big yacht to everybody. 100 meters is a huge fucking boat.

It has a crew on it that works there it lives there permanently as matt knows but maybe not everyone fully understands that when you have a boat in the water is in a constant state of deterioration the ocean is attacking it it is drying out the wood it is there's algae trying to grow on it is all houses are deteriorating yachts do that times 50 so now you have a new job maintain the yacht like keep that thing going and i guess you can just delegate it all if you're wealthy enough be like you do to the crew yeah we i just went to a car and hire a crew i guess you you delegate to a guy that hires the right crew. The captain. Yeah, you hire a captain and they hire the crew. It just feels to me like I have a new business that has only expenses and no revenue that I need to manage.

It could have revenue. You could rent the boat out. You could charter it. It could have revenue. And people do that. You're right. And I guess I kind of knew that but didn't think of it. I don't know if they make

money or if they just slow their law no they just offset a offset expenses i was just on a boat and and i went to this car show in newport rhode island and um newport is really like a yachting kind of place and so there was a party adjacent to the car show that was on a boat and the boat was 160 feet which is a fucking big boat we're talking about like eight bedrooms bitching bitching boat bigger than 85 of the world's homes and the boat was for sale because they were using the party to promote the sale of the boat and this was a boat that was built like in 2008 so we're you, you know, 12, 13 year old boat. And just for just for a sense of scale, they wanted 18 million dollars for the boat. And we met the captain who was a very nice man, had been on the boat for 10 years. And he said that it was two point three million a year to operate.

Jesus, which included everything. Yeah. It's too much. I mean, it's just a whole other sense of financial scale. I can't work with that many zeros. But we did go in the engine room, and the engineer was like a very Spicoli-like character. I mean, I don't know if he was baked out of his face,

but the engines were twin 16-cylinder diesels with turbos like this. I'm making a beach ball with my fucking hands. And they made 3,500 horsepower each. That is somehow a lot and not that much right it's both it's both a lot and not that much but the boat did um 30 miles an hour which imagine 160 foot boat going 30 that's ripping i mean that's i wonder what a cruise liner can do the 20s middle 20s probably for a for a big cruise liner. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think we went that fast most of the time. No, they don't. They have like a, like a, you know, they're going in the high teens. Yeah. And also it might, it might be like kind of uncomfortable for passengers. Oh, I didn't consider that.

I bet they also just have like a, I don't know, a time they'd like to get there. Oh, there you't consider that. I bet they also just have like a, I don't know, a time they'd like to get there. Oh, there you go. Zach said the average cruise ship was 20 knots, and a knot is 1.2. So you're 24, 25 miles an hour. Yeah. People don't know. Here's the knot conversion.

Every seventh knot is an extra mile per hour. So seven knots is about eight miles an hour. 14 knots is about 16 miles per hour. Fancy. I did not know that. I don't remember that though. Very fancy to talk in knots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't they do it? People talk in knots too. I don't know why. I wish they didn't. Why do they do it?

I don't know. It's like why do military people talk in fucking clicks? I think it's more efficient. Does clicking mean anything? A click is a kilometer. A click is a kilometer, right? Is a mic a mile? Just say kilometer. I don't know. Mic to me always means M.

It's like a meter? It's situational. I think it's just abbreviation for the letter M. Look, I certainly wasn't in the military, but that's what I've seen, is that whenever they need to say like m they'll say mike sometimes because like i know like a 40 millimeter they often call 40 mike mike so i knots might predate miles i think knots might be an older like fucking oh it's definitely like sailing charts still use fathoms like i like i don't

know how fathoms are helping yeah fathom is six feet i wish they still put the monsters on the sailing charts like an old globe put a fucking kraken down there in the bottom left let's go throw cthulhu up in the top right i looked up the mic thing because i was really curious and Kyle kind of nailed it. Oh, well, he's thinking about microphone, but in context, it can mean minutes and it can mean miles. Interesting. Like I said, I've often seen it

mean millimeter or meter. Really? With regards to gun stuff. Whenever I've heard someone refer to 40 millimeter and they have been in the military, they always refer to it as 40 Mike Mike. 40mm being like, that's the underbarrel grenade launcher that you might find on a rifle. What size shoots Pepsi cans?

You can buy those. You can buy those. I think they make their own thing my guess would be that it's well it's not even a guess it's got to be below 40 millimeter because it's you're a destructive device at 40 millimeters um so that's why a lot of the civilian legal underbarreled stuff is 37 millimeter that's kind of the industry standard is there one you can actually fit a fucking pepsi can in yeah that's a thing so you can take like a potato gun, but for a Pepsi can? Yeah, and you can fill the Pepsi can up with concrete or glue or whatever to make it like a real projectile. It's a cannon.

Leave it full of Pepsi. Don't do anything I say because I don't want to be liable for it. That's crazy. Does it use a bullet to propel it? I think they use blank cartridges. I've never fucked to part of that. Does it use a bullet to propel it? I think they use blank cartridges. I've never fucked with one. I'm clicking on this link for sure. You just sent me this Pepsi can link.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal in California. For $200? Oh, the one I saw was under barrel, but this thing's cool also. This just replaces your complete fucking AR barrel with a can launcher. Yikes. Oh yeah, it's like an upper, right?

Show the link, Zach. I haven't looked at one forever. We're all talking about something that can't stand. That is nutty looking. Wow. I want to see this thing in action. Thank you. A Pepsi can. There's plenty of YouTube videos of people fucking with it. You can do the one that shoots the golf balls too.

Do you think if you wanted to actually launch soda cans is is a an AR blank the way to go? Or do you want to go with either the compressed air or the propane of the of the potato gun? I think that if you wanted for the cool factor, having an AR platform is, is neat being able to aim and stuff, but because anything else, those other two things you described are going to be big and bulky, but they're probably like more powerful in the long run. They're definitely more powerful in the long run. Or you could even do black powder.

You could go hardcore and just take, you could, you could, you could think of this as a mold for a projectile, right? You know, fill this, like I said,

with like concrete or, or, or like wood glue, let it hard or a resin, some sort of like a like I said, with concrete or wood glue. Let it harden. Or resin. Some sort of binary resin that you let harden up in there. And you can even weight that with lead shot. You guys are fucked up.

These are things I have never considered. I mean, we make it explosive if you give me a few minutes. Yeah, true. You want gas in there? Back in the day, I made that anarchist cookbook napalm, the styrofoam and gasoline. I made that shit when I was a kid.

What did you burn with it just to test it with? What did I burn? I think whatever the bucket was that it was in, I think is what I started with. We used to do the pineapples, the quarter sticks in between a tripod of shaving creams and a lot of duct tape. Those were pretty

powerful. With the napalm, the interesting thing, modern gasoline doesn't have a high enough benzene content in it because of environmental stuff and probably cancer regulations too to properly dissolve modern styrofoam. what i did was i went and ordered a big bottle like a liter of benzene and i had never seen a bottle with that cartoonish

skull and crossbones on before but when you bought when you order a fucking bottle of a liter of benzene off a chemistry website there's a skull and crossbones on that motherfucker i should have kept it and uh and and i bought like you can buy packing peanuts in those enormous bags. Oh, yeah. Like, enormous. They're, like, eight feet tall, and there's so big around you can't hug them. I bought two of those. Two of those dissolved into four gallons of gasoline,

and it was still eating more. Like, you would just dump them as fast as they would go into gasoline with a liter of benzene mixed in, and it just ate it. If you were to find race gas, do you think that would work? If you get C-16, does that have benzene in it? Like that 110 octane stuff? Yeah. I doubt it.

I don't know. What I did was I just read up a little bit about making napalm, and I read that someone mentioned the benzene content. I bought my own benzene, and I made my own napalm and it was gooey like it like you'd stick a stick in there and and so i loaded that in my backpack flamethrower and uh and and so me that increases the the range by like triple oh really because like otherwise you're just sort of like it's like when you take a uh a spray paint can and like light a lighter how everything's just immediately being lit up and vaporizing right there but with napalm you've got like this sticky got a mass yeah it's got a mass to it it's sort

it's sort of like flicking it it's like looking some cum off your hand or something like that shit goes and it's and when it hits it's like it it's that honey sticky gooey shit and it just sticks to whatever it hits and burns it it's it's nasty stuff to fuck around with that sounds really sketchy yeah that sounds fucking sketchy yeah the only thing scarier than that is thermite that i've fucked around with i'm sure white phosphorus is terrifying but i wouldn't fuck with that fuck around with that but thermite i've lit've lit with flamethrowers before, too. I put thermite all over a car. Is that the stuff that you can shoot it with a gun and it explodes, too?

No, that's tannerite. Oh, tannerite. Yeah, yeah. Thermite is the stuff they use to weld on railways and stuff. You mix maybe iron oxide with aluminum powder and a couple other ingredients. I don't remember the formula. When you get it heated up to the proper temperature, which is a little difficult because the proper temperature

is high, like in the hundreds and hundreds of degrees, it starts this chain reaction where it just goes. It burns at thousands of degrees really quickly and melts down immediately in this wild, crazy reaction. You can't put out thermite. You can't put it out.

What do they use it for? They use it to weld railways? They use it to take down buildings on 9-11. It's used... I see. It's used for all sort of things. Basically, it's something you can bring

in a can that you can pour right here and you can create an incredibly hot basically it's something you can bring in a can that you can pour right here and you can create an incredibly um um um hot hot situation that's going to destroy so destructive is what i was looking for like it's it's used for sabotage a lot like by militaries and stuff you can because you can destroy an engine block or a huge piece of expensive hardware or infrastructure with it really quickly um but i think in the old times they, they use it like weld railways together. Cause I think they use it legit in the demo industry too. Probably.

I don't know much about that. All I know with demo stuff is the, is like, you know, explosives with the people that fucked around with that. But, but, but yeah,

that's incredibly sketchy. Right off the internet. Every Amazon. Yeah. Y'all want amazon thermite yeah y'all want some thermite get some it's fun to play with you definitely have to pay for that in bitcoin right no i use my amazon credit card here it is on amazon oh they have the fuck out of here let's go black friday thermite deals i can have it by friday coupon code pka fucking crazy are you serious yeah yeah it's

real fun to fuck around i don't know about callie's so weird about stuff like like i was gonna recommend like i know you like toys i was gonna be like you got a flamethrower but like i think that's the place where they're actually illegal uh they're definitely illegal we have a real problem with fires i don't know if you've heard yeah we don't have a problem flamethrowers to deal with it's not good out here right now we've been fighting fire with fire for a long time here it's almost thanksgiving and it was fucking 82 degrees today it's uh interesting that's awesome that's i like that dude i like i mean i like it in the short term i'm i'm acutely aware of what i think the

implications are of that. But I don't. No, you're in the Goldilocks zone of climate change. Just enjoy it. Right. Just enjoy snow not being as big of a problem. That's a problem for us many years from now. I like that I can go in the ocean in the morning and then go skiing in the afternoon if I want.

I can do both of those in the same day. I will say your ocean's cold, though. Most of the time, yeah, it is. It's fine. I have a wetsuit. A little two mil. Two mil gets you done. Yeah. Does it go down your arms? Is it a long sleeve? It is. I have a full

and then I have a shorty for other things. You never know. It's exhausting to swim with long sleeves and a wetsuit. People don't know. No, it is. Isn't it amazing how efficient wetsuits are like a wet the wetsuit is like such a simple thing but it's like holy fuck is that an efficient piece of clothing like it works so well i imagine they're much better than my like teenaged wetsuits from 30 years ago and stuff the zippers the zippers are yeah the zippers are the layering of the uh of the neoprene around the zipper for sure but like

i mean i don't think it's that much different the neoprene itself is probably about the same but the yeah tape seams didn't seem to stay taped long enough and uh because i wore wetsuit all the time and uh the zippers were always leaky. So it was almost a good thing because you pee in that wetsuit. So you want a little water exchange. That's the move. Yeah, that's how you really stay warm. And, you know, in continuing my tale of doing expensive white bull sports,

I was a scuba diver for a while. And I had a range of them. you ever do any horse dancing my sister my sister did my sister got a sister for her but it's forgot a horse i know um i thought you were gonna say my sister is a horse dancer yes yes no she did well she did the she did dressage which is what is basically what that is is pretty much what horse dancing is. She did these things called hunter paces, which is a weird equestrian sport where they have a trail through the woods. It's like a 30 or 40 mile trail,

and they send like 100 horses and riders down the trail one at a time, and they time you. You clock in, you clock out, and the horse rider with the closest to the average time wins. What? And my sister was a winner.

It is dumb, but I'll tell you something. My sister won like 10 of them in a row. She had the most average horse. My sister, there was nothing remarkable. What is the strategy for that to go last the right horse i guess yeah go last that's how you win right yeah it was uh it was a strange sport

i don't know i guess it's like dancing is such an uncommon sport i feel like if you can be top 10 you'll make the olympics no but top half and they make the olympics yeah i mean on her college equestrian team she brought the horse to college which is a thing that you can do i didn't know bring your fucking horse to college i thought taylor's chimpanzee raising was kind of high end but your horse dancing sister is next there's a i got a i got a friend who's like a school administrator out in east la like norco which is basically like almost where la meets the desert and they got some fucking caballeros out there and they have

students straight up students who ride horses to school like instead of a car wow like in 2021 in los angeles like no fucking like super rich kids riding no no No, no, no, no, no. No, these are actual cowboys. Other way. These are some caballeros. They couldn't afford a moped. They have a horse somehow. Yeah. They have agricultural programs at this high school.

Jesus. Wow. Yeah. I've been watching that show Frontier. So that actually sounds kind of cool to me, like riding the horse to school. You know what? This dude says that the people who ride the horses are kind of into it.

They go visit them in between classes and whatever. You would have to be a horse guy to choose the horse because the terrain between them and school has to be so fucked for a cheap car not to be the correct answer. Yeah. I mean, even like any horse

is more expensive than like a moped or yeah e-bike or something and you gotta feed it i don't want to go into the leads of motorcycles but there are several that are very inexpensive trail worthy options yeah yeah yeah yeah have you guys been fucking with e-bikes at all yet have you guys got gone down the e-bike rabbit hole watch them on youtube i i i saw that you did a video on e-bikes and it changed your mind about e-bikes but i didn't see the video i have an e-bike called a vintage electric uh scrambler that is the fastest e-bike that you can buy and it is shady

it goes it goes they just upgraded the powertrain too and it'll do 40 uh but it does it does 5 to 30 miles an hour in five seconds so this is a bike as opposed to an e-motorcycle oh i've ridden well i've ridden electric motorcycles as well this is an electric electric bicycle that goes as fast as some motorcycles. But I did ride the Livewire, which is the Harley Davidson that's not a Harley Davidson. Yeah, that's my bike. It's fucking so fast, dude. Dude, I'm looking at it. That thing is like a MotoGP bike on the bike path.

It rips. That is a motorcycle with pads. I go through brake pads really fast on that thing. Look at that. It has mountain bike disc brakes, but it is clearly a motorcycle with pedals. Yeah. You don't actually have to use the pedals. It has a throttle.

I want running boards. I want running boards. I suspect your pedals have 10 revolutions on them. Some of the bikes are like pedal assist or whatever. But this one has an actual throttle like a motorcycle. It rules. Now, it doesn't have gears, I assume. Those are both brakes, front and rear brakes. pedal assist or whatever yeah like this one has an actual throttle like a motorcycle it rules now um it doesn't have gears i assume those are both brakes front and rear brakes those two levers i'm looking at it has front and rear brakes and it has a regenerative brake so when you lift off

the throttle or when you squeeze the rear brake it applies um e-motor brake as well which charges the battery i get it yeah yeah but it's fucking it's so fucking fast and like you could be like now i'm a pedestrian now i'm a bicycle now i'm a motorcycle now i'm a bicycle now i'm a motorcycle now i'm a bicycle like you could be anything and however you want but you should need a license for that but you don't and you should really wear a helmet i i don't all the time but you really none of these are wearing helmets yeah yeah no you should have a motorcycle helmet on for that i do have a motorcycle license if that matters yeah no i guess i'm just talking about what should be now yeah no it's you really should and and um and it's uh it has like five riding modes you know five

being the fastest and one is and one being the slowest and honestly with this new powertrain in it when i commute to work on it because my my office is like six miles from my house um when i commute to work on i use mode two like i don't even put that shit in mode five because it just fucking it scares me we have a couple of um e-skateboards. Oh, yeah. Those are gnarly. I can use the top mode, but I don't want. It's not safe. It is not good. It goes so fast you get speed wobbles. It accelerates so hard that you need to, like, hunker down and lean forward

and prepare yourself for the launch that's about to happen. I use the pro mode mode which is the second fastest mode it's appropriately named you're like oh pro mode yes what's the fast mode called it's called gtr hold the fuck on that's the name of them yeah it's the fastest mode one of my customers in my shop just showed up on one of those real crazy stand-up scooters that's two-wheel drive and has full suspension and that shit is fucking shady too dude i like where e-stuff is going because like i don't know somehow it's like scooters and bikes they don't need license there are no rules they barely follow traffic rules

but they are pretty much car capable almost yeah if you're going 40 some miles an hour then in the city you're a car car. Yeah, yeah. Totally. But you have no helmet, no protective gear, no license. No laws. And you're riding on – It's too much. You're swerving between cars, going on the sidewalk, bumping pedestrians into hopping back onto the street. It's hooligan shit, and it's fabulous.

It's making me nervous thinking about it. Have you guys been in any really fast electric cars yet i never have no they are they're really fast like is a tesla 3 really fast a 3 is pretty fast but like a plaid um or a taikon turbo s um you know the taikon turbo s is so fast it actually made me like physically ill. I got really nauseous making the video of the Taycan Turbo S. And you know the Tesla's the Porsche's

performance is more consistent and repeatable. Tesla gives you the fucking shit your pants power once but it needs a period of cooling down to do it again. It doesn't really have the consistency of power delivery

or brakes that you would expect from a Porsche. But you know, a fucking Tesla Plaid runs like a nine second quarter mile. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous. I mean, I just found your video on the Porsche 2020 Taycan Turbo S and the video is it's probably too fast.

Yes, it is. You could, cause you know, when you're driving those, especially on like the mountain roads where I, where I drive, you know, my, my car reviews, when you don't have gears or sound, you know, you, you, you don't go, okay, this corner is going to be third gear. And, and, you know, you don't have any real frames of reference. And so you really, oh, hi, Cricket. That's Cricket, my insane cat.

And you don't really have any frame of reference. And so you could enter a corner 40 or 50 miles an hour too hot, you know, especially when these things are 700 horsepower and silent. You know, the amount of speed that you are gathering in between each corner is extraordinary um and without the frame of reference for for when and how much to break you know it can get really fucking hairy in some of those cars and so i've heard this about electric motorcycles and i assume it's true with cars in that it's so quiet you get feedback on what the tires are doing

like you can hear a little bit of slip you can hear like with the car going and like i've never heard my tires i can't hear them on my motorcycle i have no idea but it's like you hear this sort of right so the downside is what i just said you could enter a corner way too hot and not realize that the upside is at the other end of that corner assuming you haven't sailed it off a cliff, on the way out, as you're applying power, you can hear the individual tire. Oh, my front left is squealing a little here.

Let me adjust my rear. And you actually, like what he said, you can use those totally different auditory feedbacks to control the car on the way out of the corner. Yeah, yeah. You were on this show in the summer, or it might have even been a show before that, where you said that the Cybertruck was never going to happen.

I'll stand by that. Still, no opinion change. Where the fuck is it? The Ford Mach-E was announced the same day the cyber truck was i currently own a maki it has 7 000 miles on it where's the fucking cyber that's been one of my criticisms like that he's completely full of shit well then he gets one of mine being full of shit right if ford said we're coming out with this thing and then what three four years later there was no hint of it even starting everyone would be

mad at ford they would expect them to actually do things they're saying they're going to do yeah uh elon musk was selling cars three years ago telling people dude in a few months i'm going to have software for this thing that will make it an automated taxi. This car will make money for you. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. That's not close to existing. No, not even close. I mean, the way he gets past it is... And it was ridiculous on the surface that that was even...

I mean, that... But fools were buying it thinking it was real. Yeah. Because this guy was lying. The ultimate pre-order. Yeah. Like, getting a car that hasn't been invented yet. And, like, Elon just distracts you with other promises

money for those founders edition roadsters 50 200 the car doesn't exist anytime he gets heat he just launches another rocket and everybody forgets about like the boring or fucking comes up with a guy in a robot suit and says we're gonna build humanoid walking robots or something ridiculous like yeah that's easier than an electric truck skip that one go right to that he's been selling autopilot for like 10 years now autopilot isn't like in reality isn't too much different than just like adaptive cruise control with lane centering it's just not at all right so but he's been selling it as a five thousand dollar option with this promise that it's going to be more of an autopilot type thing. Cars have worn out, right? Cars are like seven years old now.

People who got that option have returned their leases. You know what I mean? They never got anything for it. He is the ultimate marketer. I mean, he literally sells things that don't exist, I mean, and people buy them and then people invest in his company for it. And then his company is the most valuable car company in the world. For some reason, he's the richest man to have ever lived. Yeah. Steve Jobs had what they called a reality distortion field. Right.

And he would go up there and he would say, this new phone is magical. This new phone is crazy. Like it's, it's going to change your life. Right. And you'd be like, oh my God, I want it so much. And then afterwards, it's like, oh, okay. When he said my finger was the best pointing device to have ever existed, maybe. I mean, but I bought it during the show.

And now afterwards, I'm not sure he's right, but it's fine. Elon Musk is selling shit that hasn't happened that literally doesn't exist yeah i mean you know steve jobs is a great marketer and he might have been uh hyperbolic about certain things as many great marketers are but he fundamentally didn't take your money for a product that doesn't exist i mean you you gave him money you got an iphone you know what i mean it wasn't it't, if you give me money now, I might have a phone for you in seven years. Literally seven years.

Yeah, and the Cybertruck, if you know a little bit about cars, not a lot, but a little bit. Your bar's too high. You can look at that prototype, which is a straight-up movie prop, and you go, you can't fucking build that. You just like common sense just dictates that you can't build something that looks like that and sell it.

Again, the bar is too high. Why is that? to me is the hucksterism part of it but where i where i really get offended is the release of beta software to untrained people on public roads you know the full self-driving beta which there's tons of videos of it out on youtube acting wonky as shit. Other companies, Argo AI, Cruise, Waymo, are testing autonomous vehicles, and they're using multiple redundant systems, cameras, radar, LIDAR, backup, you know, and the people who drive those test vehicles are trained. They go through a very, very rigorous certification process.

And the single digits of people pass those programs, 4% or 5%. They're engineers. Their literal job is just to monitor these systems. And they're insured by commercial insurance policies. There was one fatality in the uber the uber self-driving experiment and the whole fucking program was canceled the whole program and elaine helsberg the person who died her family won an enormous judgment from uber uh enormous settlement tell me if i'm wrong i'm sorry no no it's okay i tell me if i'm wrong when I say this. I kind of like that Elon compares himself, compares his software to actual people instead of perfection.

There's a bit of a Nirvana fallacy where you say, hey, this thing has one accident every 100 million miles. It's not ready. Whereas people have one accident every million miles. Well, there's a couple things to that. One is Elon's data is cherry-picked and not entirely accurate. The data he's using to compare his software is to compare it to all cars on the road today. The average car on the road today is 12 years old. There is no such thing as a 12-year-old Tesla Model S. It doesn't exist. That car came out in 2012. So if he only compares his data to cars that have

ADAS, adaptive advanced driver safety systems, the data is not nearly as complementary towards them so it's a selective data plus if you're talking about humans humans have to be forgiven for their mistakes because they're human right they're human it but but to sell a piece of software and then say, you human are responsible for the behavior of this software, which that's what they're doing, right? If a Tesla running full self-driving beta runs over a person, it's the human who bought and insured that car who is financially responsible. So what he's doing is reaping the benefits and outsourcing the risks, which is incredibly dangerous. Like I was saying about the other companies doing AV research, they're assuming the risks.

Their cars are commercially insured, operated by paid and trained test drivers. Tesla's just selling this shit to fucking regular old people. Sounds like he's found a real loophole here to get his R& D done cheap as hell. I mean, I'm hanging on to every word, but I'm not convinced like you're being heard,

but I still love the idea of like, we're not going to make progress if we don't try it. And well, maybe, but other people are trying it more ethically, right? You know, you can Argo cruise Waymo. They're trying it more ethically right you know you can argo cruise waymo they're trying it but they're

doing it in a safe and incremental way i believe that the you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet is not true when it comes to testing self-driving cars on public roads because i haven't opted into the beta. I'm there on my motorcycle. I have not opted into that beta. I didn't sign the waiver. So the person using that system signs the waiver and opts into the beta, but they're on a road with everybody else. The other people that are at risk, these Teslas have crashed into 12 parked emergency vehicles responding to accidents that have had their lights flashing. If this software cannot, at a basic level, not slam into a parked police car or fire truck or ambulance, I would say this is not ready to be sold to the public. Yeah, for sure.

But, you know. Again, I just want to know how many times per mile that happens compared to regular drivers. I don't think that's a I don't think that's a fair metric. I because a the the regular driver is not necessarily optimized. Right. We have we could have better training. We could have better certification. We could have more rigorous safety standards for our cars that could improve what the average driver is. And we don't need new technology for that. We don't need to invent some new thing for that. We could have that now

if it was actually a priority. And so what is the average driver and is the average driver optimized? I almost got into an accident today. It was partly my fault. I'll let you judge. I'll lay it out there. So I'm on the highway is the interstate and I'm in the second to right lane. The right lane becomes a turn only lane. There's a car there just sort of forward and to my side that, in my opinion, is giving every indication that he's going to make that turn. Right.

He's on that lane. He's taking the exit. It looks that way to me. The line changes from dotted to solid, you know, as they do before the exit. It changes from solid to that triangle that happens. And then he decides he doesn't want to take the exit. And he goes across the like double white line triangle that's happening and into my lane i being an imperfect driver kind of freak out and steer left into the lane that you know to like make room for him and there was a guy there sort of behind me maybe in my blind spot and he's the

hero in this story who spotted my asshole driving got out of my way and there was no accident. Now, on the surface of it, you'd think it was maybe totally that guy's fault, but the thing is I did change the song right around that time. Maybe a more perfect version of me would have solid unfold a little more smoothly and reacted a little more perfectly. But it was like, oh, fuck, that guy's coming across this double white line well after you'd think you would.

I kind of panic steered and like I said, the other guy was the hero in the story. What song were you switching to? I don't know. The one was too slow and I wanted something a little more upbeat. Here's the thing. In my opinion, if we could jump right from where we are now, which is humans driving cars, to input destination and take a nap, if we could do that, that would be one thing right in order to do that we'd have to redesign our roads we'd have to pretty much ban all human driven cars so that all cars could communicate with each other wirelessly right because because you you need the car needs to actually be able to communicate with

the other car not just see it can you imagine how efficient traffic would be it would be i mean it would be we we would be trading things away from our traffic. I think Elon's car deals with my situation better than me. It would not have stopped paying attention. Well, I disagree with that. I think that in certain – so what I advocate for is not a car where the human is responsible for babysitting a computer, which is what Elon's car is. Computer does some driving tasks, and you, the human, are responsible for taking over in an emergency situation. Humans are really bad at babysitting machines.

Really, really bad at it. Humans are actually really good at driving. I know it doesn't seem like that because people die on the roads, you know, and you can point to fatalities and you can point to accidents and oh, by the way, you didn't get into an accident. Okay. Um, maybe it wasn't because you didn't make a mistake or the other person didn't make a mistake, but, but a human solved that problem and an accident was avoided, okay? And humans can be distracted by the radio or by

their phone or by their kids in the backseat, but fundamentally, a trained human paying attention is a very good driver and will get to their destination 99.9999% of the time. An average human gets a ticket for an infraction once every five years, gets into an accident once every 30 years. It's really not common. So it's a very – an average human does a lot of driving. So we think anecdotally that humans are not good drivers, but by and large, they really are.

I mean, I've always thought that, because it's like, think about how long you're doing it. Yeah, I know. Like, we just accept that. To not die. We just accept that the roadways are the way they are. But like so many times, even as a kid, and even today, like as an adult, I'll be like,

man, they just got that soccer mom going 80 miles an hour coming right at me. And if I reached out far enough, I could touch her. We drive really close together, really fast in opposite directions. It's insane that we do that. If you want to see what it could be, watch the Top Gears where they go to India. India, five times as many people as here, they totally are, I guess, all against lines in the road. It's just

big amounts of pavement, and everyone's doing whatever they think is okay at the moment. There are studies actually that show that fewer road markings actually improve driver safety. They have fewer fatalities per capita in Vietnam than they do here, and they have those schools

of fish scooters kind of thing going on but what i'm getting at is if if rather than then going for this full autonomy thing what if we designed a parallel autonomy system where the human drove the car but the computers babysat the human. And basically, you still had to drive, but your car became fundamentally uncrashable. That is what I advocate for. And we can use by repositioning our priorities and not trying to sell an autonomous vehicle that will drive for you we could try to sell a car that will look over your shoulder and be very aware of your blind spot when you went to go merge

and maybe take an evasive action on your behalf or give you more better better warnings that this guy is going to come across um and and and And we call this parallel autonomy as opposed to serious autonomy, which is you press a button and the car drives for you. That's an interesting idea. And so I advocate for that, which would actually improve road safety. Yeah, but I don't want to be safe. I want to be cool. Well, Kyle, that is what Elon Musk is selling.

He's selling coolness under a pretense of he's cherry picking data to make cool sound safe. When actually it's not that safe. A lot of wins here. So you said something that triggered a thought in my head. Triggered. People are bad at babysitting machines. And it's because of the T the tsa they watch luggage come through and they're looking great example guns they're looking for knives and guns and they're terrible at it

great example 99.999 of the time there's no knife and there's no gun in that bag so the bag just goes through they go they get the right answer all the time 100 true and then every once in a blue moon some guy has a knife or a gun on it. It might even be a test, right? It might be a coworker who's trying to see if they're paying attention. And the reason they miss them so much is that you get lulled into a sense of the right action is to ignore it. of the right action is to ignore it yeah so when a car gets things right 99.9 percent of the time people aren't going to catch the mistake because of that yeah you see the guy and here's what's interesting about 99.9 99.9 is a number that sounds really good but in the context of your

car driving you somewhere it's fucking terrible imagine if you got into an accident one out of a thousand trips if you get in your car a thousand times so how many times you get in your car three times a day right three times a day means once a year you're getting into a crash that's fucking terrible you're an awful driver you need to be orders of magnitude better than that that happens and that same thought process happens in aviation a lot like yeah 99 of the time you'll be fine that's horrible 99 of the time aviation is okay is not very good at all yeah that's a terrible ratio manufacturing of airplanes if that were the case dropping out of the sky every day yeah so so you know it it there's if you i read argo's argo ai which is an autonomous vehicle research firm i read their safety briefing it's like 50

pages and you should give me a medal for reading that and uh and they're the section on here's how we hire people and here's our process of the people we hire and it is exhaustive they have a they have a 12-week training program they have all these different levels of testing they have classroom they have driving tests they make the monitor the cars on a closed course and all this kinds of shit and then at the end of this only four to six percent of them actually get the job and when they're out there driving those cars around or babysitting these cars as they drive themselves around, they are covered under an Argo AI insurance policy where if this car crashes into you, the company is responsible for it. You know, Tesla doesn't do that. That shows a lot more confidence in their

system well it shows that they're taking responsibility for the for the liability and not just the the upside not just the the the fanfare you know and so in my opinion to improve safety you have to improve safety each step of the way you don't get to say machiavelli style oh yeah well we're gonna have some fucking crashes but this is for the greater good again i don't really buy him too high machiavelli style so that's like italian accent yeah it's the tupac version of italian history so you know so uh so and especially because like i said before not everybody that you're sharing the road with has bought into the beta you know what i mean we didn't all agree that it was kosher to fucking hands off this bitch and uh and send it you know

i certainly didn't agree to it and and and you know the right to swing your fists ends at my nose right yeah so so that's my opinion on uh on tesla semi-autonomous systems it doesn't have to do with the tesla autonomous thing but like when we were looking at the pictures of the cyber truck like it seems like almost structurally you're like no structurally that's impossible they can't it is something like well he talked about an exoskeleton i've talked to multiple material science engineers who like you can't fucking build that like that's uh how is it different than unibody well he's saying he's literally saying the structure is the outside uh a unibody has a has a real underneath structure to it um i'm not an engineer but i i don't i just don't think that that works um and he's the kind of person who would throw some shit at the wall and then tell the engineers

to go figure it out later i mean you know and not that strategy has worked sometimes in the past i mean they've ended up with some interesting, sometimes successes by doing that. They've also ended up with some fucking horrible failures, like the Falcon wing doors on the Model X. There's a thing in Tesla culture, Elon culture, where they just say everything's easy. Oh, yes. Self-driving is an easy problem to solve. Self-landing rockets, that's incredibly simple. Everything's incredibly simple and no challenge for them. When you're surrounded by yes men and when people are financially invested in agreeing that the emperor is, in fact, wearing clothes, you know, that's plus people want to believe. Plus, people want to believe.

People have seen future movies, and they want to believe that by investing in this and buying into it, that that's how we get to those future movies. Devil's advocate, there's not a lot of of whether or not a company is doing good for the world. Yeah, I mean, you could could have probably made people have made a lot of money on tesla stock and so if someone is out there with a purely financial motivation who invested in tesla because they thought they could make money that's cynical but i can't be too mad at that um but but i think there's people who will not say that the emperor has no clothes when the emperor has no clothes because they're financially incentivized to fucking shut up about it because they're making money you know i wish people saw it the same way i did like here's what

elon has actually done he has rockets that land sometimes and And he's made a Model 3. Yeah. All the shit about the Boring Company. All the shit about those solar roofs. Those solar roofs. Do you remember how great that was going to be? I bought into it. I was like, yeah, this guy is incredible.

He makes giga factories. I don't know how they're different than other factories, but they're giga. It means they're big. It means they're giant. It means they're giant. They're huge. This guy makes these amazing batteries that I guess are better than other batteries, I think. He buys them from Panasonic. His batteries are Panasonic batteries.

I know. Panasonic, that's reliable. There are no name in batteries. Man, in 1985 stereo systems, there was nothing like a Panasonic. I want to say that maybe he's making his own batteries now, or at least they've just started to, but the cars aren't using them yet. Okay.

But yeah, apparently he thinks he can make a better battery. And somehow with that, I was like, well, if you make good batteries, then surely he'll make great solar roofs and you can't get them. You can't get them.

Everyone's unhappy there. I mean, look, I will give this man credit where I believe it is due. He made electric cars cool, right? Before Tesla, electric cars were not very cool. But they don't look cool. And he built one that looked like an Aston Martin and went really fast. And it had an innovative cell phone like interface. really fast and it had an innovative cell phone like interface and now other companies have realized that that is in fact what some people want out of their car and so that has moved that

industry forward by a lot so so he gets credit for that shit i'll give him that um and the rockets are pretty cool i'll give him the fucking rockets the. He made mom cars that go 0 to 60 in 3 seconds. Yeah. He didn't invent landing rockets. They had landing rockets before. But landing rockets are cool. So God bless landing rockets. But there's a lot of utter horseshit that comes out of his mouth also.

comes out of his mouth also and um and so i i really try to take a uh a look at what is the reality of the situation regarding that company as opposed to the fantasy of it i think at one point we this is on the show years ago we were talking about the solar roof thing and like it was it was like not a tesla pushed article it probably was tesla pushed it was some on some like tech mag yeah and like at the bottom i think we all realized like at the current price point they had them set for it's like oh so like my children's children's children could see savings like like no we're gonna need to get this a lot closer to like the commodity brand before anyone could jump into this because like at the point it was a few years ago i remember it being like oh this is like something that leonardo dicaprio could do for a lark and one of his

mansions like a little fun project for him like he doesn't know care about that amount of money and what we have now is other manufacturers that are better at making cars you know actually assembling cars are building some cool shit you know i've got Ford Mach-E, which is basically like a Ford Model Y that's assembled properly. I've got the Taycans. The Porsches are incredible. Audi has the e-tron line. I'm driving the Lucid in a couple weeks.

The Lucid, the CEO is Peter Rawlinson, who was high up at Tesla before leaving to go to start his own company. Lucid is 1100 fucking horsepower, by the way. Is that a real horsepower? Because sometimes there's electric horsepower or bullshit. No, it's not. I know what you're talking about, where they just like add up in a really weird way. It feels like a car with only one gear, and that gear is fourth.

Well, the Porsches and the Howdies have a two-speed transmission, but the other ones are all single-speed. So what about the Rivian? I haven't driven one yet. It looks cool. You want the grill, don't you? The Rivian grill? No. Oh, you mean the pull-out kitchen?

The pull-out kitchen! Zach, can you find a picture of the Rivian with the grill pull-out? It's pretty dope. I think the Rivian's kind of an unattractive truck. I don't know. It doesn't look nice to me. I don't like the look of it. The interior's fine, but the exterior's something about it. I don't think it's great looking.

That's not right. It reminds me of an old Nissan or Toyota or something. Hard body, something about it. I don't think it's great looking. I don't know. It reminds me of an old Nissan or Toyota or something. Hard body, baby. Yeah. But when I saw them pull that fucking kitchen out, and it's got the conduction stove or whatever. Look at that shit. Induction burners.

I said conduction. Induction, yeah. That photo is from when some of my friends at MotorTrend drove these fucking things across the country off-road. Oh, that's neat. These Rivians are really – what's really neat about electric trucks is that when you have basically an unlimited amount of programming you can do with these differentials. It's not a mechanical link anymore. So you can do torque vectoring and brake vectoring

and you can have them do tank turns where they break the inside wheels and overdrive the outside wheels and have really cool articulations and they can do some really neat stuff. That would be cool if you could do a sit-in-place kind of thing where the left tires go reverse. Have you seen the

new electric Hummer that can crab walk? I didn't know they still made Hummers. They just brought it back. They're making a six-digit Hummer. It's fucking so... It's neat, but it's also like are we going to save the world with a 9,000 pound

electric Hummer? It's a hundred thousand dollars. I had a rock crawling buggy and you could use any brake you wanted. Yeah, independent braking. You put it in four-wheel drive. You'd lock the back right brake, and the other three tires would go. And it didn't exactly pivot on the locked brake, but close.

You know what actually what gas vehicle has that is the new Bronco. The new Ford Bronco has this off-road tight turning thing, and you activate it. And then whichever way you turn the wheel, it locks up that inside wheel, and you can really pivot in a very tight radius. It's cool. crab walking that'll give you an image because you it has totally independent front and rear steering and you can literally make it uh crab walk which is which is actually you know pretty fucking cool that is neat it's a neat it's a you know it's it's it's i'm sure that thing will be really good off-road but like you know just like americans are not really capable of handling these really really fast evs like here's this is like a this is a truck that does this does zero to 60 in you know

it's like fucking 9 000 pounds and it does zero to 64 seconds it's a metal it's dangerous yeah yeah yeah that's a rendering but there are photos of it actually of it actually doing it like on the highway it exists because it's not a tesla like it does exist and more importantly gm hasn't actually taken money for it yet because it's not ready to fucking go you know so one of these assault trucks what are they gonna as soon as someone uses one of them in an act of terror we're gonna need some legislation to oh bro guys down. Running over fucking parades. You take the Hummer through a parade, you don't stop. I didn't know how impressive the crab walk thing would be,

but the compilation I got is literally just a guy in slow-moving traffic crab-walking, like, bullying the lanes next to him into moving because it's a Hummer. You thought it wasn't a Hummer? Oh, no, it's still a Hummer. That's neat, but please stay in your lane. It might be a Hummer,

but you're still a Hummer. I'm an 89 Civic. I feel like as a driver, I might not... You know how you see the wheel turn and I'm accustomed to the warning signs that a car is changing lanes. If a car crab walks,

does it mess with me? I wonder. I mean, you've seen... I'm sure at some point you've seen a car crab walks does it mess with me like i wonder i mean you've seen i'm sure at some point you've seen a car go down the highway with like completely fucked rear alignment you know it's kind of doing that on accident you know and it's really with its frame broken in the middle and it was just kind of like behind the cab when they first came out with the raptor like 10 years ago and people really started hawking them off of jumps and shit and they've fucking really been out of the middle that's funny dude i love that video so much i know it's from like seven eight years ago and it's that

yahoo taking his raptor off a big boy jump it's like a bmx jump is that the one where all the airbags go off when he lands he lands this like 75 000 truck and it just goes there's a dude uh who makes youtube videos who did that with the new uh ram trx which is their their version of the raptor with the hellcat motor in it and and he landed it and he fucking blew the whole he blew the whole thing out he fucked it all thing my uh my friend just bought a new uh a new dodge truck um with with you know like whatever the top of the line one is it's not the trx thing and uh like all the accessories and then i was like that's a power wagon by chance i don't know it's scum okay um power wagon branding is hilarious but you're gone i was like it's a pretty expensive truck, huh? He's like, yeah, yeah.

I was like, how much would those run you these days? He's like, $90,000. I just had the TRX press car last week, and it's so ridiculous. And it was 95 brand. It was crazy. $90,000 truck. This is a 700 horsepower pickup truck that is the width of an H1 Hummer and costs $95,000. And I had it for a week and my cumulative fuel economy was 8.7.

This is the most antisocial, like offensive truck. Is Scum's truck a diesel, Kyle? Do you know? He got the 2500. That's all I know. That's a diesel. Yeah, it's probably a diesel. Probably a diesel. Beautiful truck. It's a financial decision. If you have a need for a giant truck, alright, but this thing was fucking...

I mean, it was... No one who buys those trucks is in a line of work where they like need a truck. People who need a truck people are like Chevy 1500 Silverados or like a F-150 or a Tacoma. 12-year-old Tacomas.

He needs to tow 25,000 pounds. How fast does he need to tow it? If you're actually towing 25,000 pounds, then I get it. Then he needs a big truck. I don't know that he needs one that's all decked out. Well, you got to do it in style. I stand corrected. I have to buy a truck for my shop soon.

And because of the taxes, the tax rebates on vehicles that are over a certain weight, even though I only need like a half ton truck, I am incentivized to buy a much bigger, heavier and more powerful truck for tax reasons, which is. And for machismo. Yes, of course. You love everything with the motor in it, whether you're racing it or just sitting on a boat with the motor. Like if it's motorized, you're all in, it seems like. I mean, I like all kinds of stuff for different reasons, but I'm trying to not be wasteful. I'm trying to use resources in proportion to how much actual enjoyment and usefulness I get out of them. As long as it's not an environmental concern

i suppose it makes me a lefty snowflake but you know here we are are there any really cheap hobbies you enjoy like outside of sleeping motoring cooking and sleeping podcasting doing radio you know i also am a lefty snowflake but only in words my actions are that of a gasoline burning asshole i will ride across the country i will like go to a weekend in the mountains or at the beach i travel all over the place in my pickup truck but uh but i wish that i wasn't the ultimate like like do as i say not as i do here i am well you guys gotta slow down so i can keep doing my time so maybe did uh did you see who's gonna be the new superman no what's his name john krasinski real quick kyle before we get into that we're over on the ads uh we're gonna hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors before you do i am uh i'm gonna take this opportunity to

gracefully bow out of the show. Thank you for coming, man. You guys get two hours out of me and then I fucking go off a cliff pretty quick. Two solid hours. Every time you come on, there is a new aspect of you that I learned. The sailing thing blew

me away. We learned about Judaism today. You learned about how to do this, it was horses, all kinds of shit. All right. Well, thank you guys. It's always fun hanging out with you and follow my shit at the smoking tire everything and we'll do it in another six months. Yeah, I love it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. I'll see you guys. I'll see you guys later and enjoy your ad reads. Happy Thanksgiving later. Am I the only one that doesn't think the Jews should be allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving? I'll see you guys later and enjoy your ad reads. Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving. Later. Am I the only one that doesn't think the Jews should be allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving? I think that that would go against our earlier point of wanting to be able to RPG Max our vacation time character. Anyone should be able to take time off for any bullshit holiday they want.

Woody gives me time off whenever I need it, though. Well, I mean, people with, like, people with, like, people with jobs. Like, you're talking to me, though. You want me to relate to your little argument. You're going to have to make it, you know, work in my little world. So you just want to take time off from other people? I guess.

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didn't even give him our coop compote it was pure You were just trying to help a guy who's down on his luck. He's, he's depressed. He's, he's not happy because his dick's not getting hard. You were giving him a golden ticket. Hopefully he, he takes advantage of it.

I really hope he does. Dude's like not living his best life because, because he has a $5 fucking problem. Are you kidding me? Everyone has that much money. Yeah. At least try it out. See what you think of it.

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someone wearing this gear. No, I would give you a high five. I'd be like, hell yeah, dude. I would steal his hat and wear it myself. I would go say hi, absolutely. I would totally go up to someone wearing this. No, I would give him a high five. I'd be like, hell yeah, dude. I would steal his hat and wear it myself. I would go say hi, absolutely. I would. I really would. Yeah, that'd be nice. Or what if they're like a normal person?

They're like, I don't want to talk to you. Hey, it's me. You're blowing up my spot. I don't want people to know I listen to your stupid ass podcast. They're like, yeah, I don't like you to know i listen to your stupid ass podcast they're like yeah i don't like you it's the other tip like someone like meets us and he's like oh taylor i got a message for woody it's like fuck no i'm not relaying that please the next time one of you sees woody in public send a message to me via be like oh oh oh oh i'm so glad i saw you here could you tell kyle that will work zero percent of the time that i uh i can recognize me but it'll be just last weekend i was checking out of the so i checked out of my uh beach house on time

but i left the car there and went and rode my motorcycle back and forth across the beach i guess they saw the car there and assumed i hadn't checked out, but I was just using the parking spot. And they sent the dude to go kick us out of the house. And he's like, Woody, I'm a big fan. I watch the show every week. He's like, oh, cool. Yeah, we're out. That's awesome.

But yeah, it's neat when that happens. I started watching this show just randomly on netflix a few days ago just like a background nonsense show and it it's a netflix original so it has decent production value i think it's like a french show but i'm watching it english dubbed over and it is it might be the worst plot of any netflix show i've ever seen in my life it's called into the night and it is about the sun. A bunch of people are on a plane and one of the pilots starts freaking out because a guy with a gun runs on there and is like, when the sun rises, it's going to kill everyone. We have to take off.

And so with just like a sparse few people remaining on the plane and the co-captain, whatever they're called, associate captain, they take off as everybody in the airport's like, the fuck? It just started backing away from the gate and they're taking off. I'm five episodes in. The entire show is them bickering and arguing with one another on the plane

about the safest place to land so they can refuel and get supplies and then take off again to continue to outrun the sunlight before the killer sunlight which is like is it a known fact that the sunlight is actually killing people or is this an irrational fear it was it's at first it's irrational until they like fly over the place where they were going to stop to get rid of the gunman and then the pilot's like oh oh everyone's burned they're dead they're all over the ground. And so they continue to fly.

And there's no progression. There's very little plot movement. I don't see the long term plan on this. There's two seasons somehow. And I'm blown away. I'm five episodes in. And every single episode starts with, where are we going to land to get gas? And it's the same problem over and over.

They encounter like a band of British rapists who are impersonating soldiers and the soldiers get on the plane and then they very quickly are, like there's no upside of the trickery. Immediately as soon as they're out there, one guy's like, this doesn't smell right. I think they're military, you know,

I think they're stealing valor and they're actually murderers and rapists and they're like oh well thank god we didn't take off with them distract them while we leave and it's like they don't even get onto the plane to start harming it's it's a true new level of bad like i do like bad shows but it's trying to be good why can't they like hide in a dark building from the sun because it's apparently like it's begun microwaving people and so they're saying that one of the guys who's like the goofy scientist on board gotta have the goofy scientist he's like the reversal in the polarity of the sun it could theoretically cause microwaves and which is what i just said is not complicated and then

like the pilot will be like damn it give it to us in english doc and it's like it's it's it's it's making people too hot and they're dying and so you can't hide on the ground ostensibly but but but this doesn't make any sense to me all right so but you can hide in the air you can hide it but only if only if you're flying into the night and the end of the first episode is like they really blew their wad too quickly on saying the name of the series. End of the first episode, they ask some lady like, where do we need to go? And she's like, into the night. But it was like badly dubbed.

Okay, so I need help with a lot of things here. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I'll do my best. All right, so first of all, I always thought that the Earth rotated at like 1,000 miles per hour. So first of all, I always thought that the Earth rotated at like 1,000 miles per hour. Because I think the Earth is like 24,000 miles in circumference roughly, like plus 120 or something. And then a day is 24 hours. So it just seemed to make sense that the Earth is rotating at like 1,000 miles per hour roughly.

So for the plane to stay ahead, wouldn't it have to be going at least as fast as the Earth is rotating? I would guess so but but but but every time they landed for fuel then they would be losing ground at 1 000 miles per hour so so unless they were faster than a thousand miles per hour then they then they would then the show would be over in like like a week for sure i mean that's what i was thinking as well but not only are they landing and refueling they have time to bicker they have time to to like have internal disputes among them so it really doesn't feel like there's there's a lot of urgency here's another thought like if if if the sun like turned into a microwave isn't it like killing everything that it touches yeah including like all the like plant life and like i would imagine so now they're at a point

now where like the pilot who got shot in the hand in the beginning by the the terrorist guy and now he's like dying of blood poisoning he like took a bite of an apple he's like this apple tastes like paper and then the scientist later was like i think that that the microwaves eliminated all the nutrients in your apple and that's why it tasted like paper. And then they landed again. They're like, we should have enough fuel to fly for thousands more miles. And they're like,

well, if the same principle applies to the carbon in the fuel tank, it's slowly being destroyed as well, since it's organic. And it's like, now they got to get like 13 more episodes out of this. The fuel is failing five episodes in the food doesn't work. Multiple people dying.

Yeah. There's a whole lot of this garbage. It's, it's rough. And it's, it's a, it's a European show. And so there's a lot of inter European bickering all in English dubbed,

but like, there'll be like little like jabs that like Americans wouldn't think of for like some Italian guy would be like, what are you? Some Turkish dickhead. And he's like, italian piece of shit don't talk about and then they're both like get this pull out of here like just pointing out every every different little subgroup of person like all bickering it's funny uh it is bad though can't recommend it less to anyone who wants a good show i'll never watch it i promise it's

staggeringly about midnight mass you watched it i've finished it yeah okay did you like it as much as kyle and i no no okay or as much as like all the all the great reviewers go ahead kyle sell this sell this midnight mass hunk of shit oh hunk of shit. Oh, hunk of shit. I really enjoyed it. I mean, I already did. I mean, I feel like I already did. But basically, somehow this guy does Stephen King better than even Stephen King does. This is his best thing so far. He did that Haunted series and the Blythe Mansion series as well, the director.

And this is like his baby. He wrote this, and I'm almost positive. And it's been what he's wanted to make for a long time it's fascinating it's incredibly well acted um the interpersonal relationships are amazing the father-son stuff the uh the group think stuff the religion stuff the sort of um the allegory that they have between the you know with the cave people and and uh how they would have like looked at fires and stars in the sky and misunderstood that and now it's it's being mirrored by how the townspeople

are taking the framework that they have, which is Catholicism, and completely misinterpreting a vampire-type situation and fitting into that structure. The priest acting is incredible. The church lady who's like evil she's great um the little girl's amazing the old drunk guy's great great they're seen together made me cry just the black girl she has a bunch of scenes where she's killing it yeah it's really good um

i really like how uh each episode is named after a book of the bible and it sort of follows along with uh that theme for that episode i liked how it it ended. It had the balls to end on a pretty hardcore note. And I don't know. I like the whole premise. I had never seen vampires done like that before. It's a brand new way of doing that classic. Definitely two thumbs up from me. It is great.

This is a TV show with seven episodes, each of them an hour long 7 hours of people sitting and talking they will sit and talk in a boat they will sit and talk in folding chairs they will sit and talk in a church they will sit and talk outside

sit and talk in restaurants you might be asking yourself, Woody is there any standing and talking? very little, you'd be surprised there's hardly any standing and talking? Very little. You'd be surprised. There's hardly any standing and talking. It is really seven hours of sitting and talking. Does shit happen? Sometimes five, six seconds per episode, you will see the interesting vampire shit.

But mostly, it's just sitting and talking. Sitting and talking. They form an AA group where there's all new opportunities to just sit and talk they sit and talk in cars i love those did i mention sitting and talking in boats there's a lot of sitting and talking in rowboats in this show too they just sit and talk for seven hours it they are there's a lot of sitting and talking and those are the best parts of the movie um the sitting and talking is is the are the best parts of the movie. The sitting and talking is what makes it so good.

The dialogue is incredible. It's really interesting the way it's written. My favorite scene is when the main guy and his pregnant girlfriend are sitting on the couch. You can put up spoilers, Zach. And they have that whole discussion about what they think will happen when they die. spoiler zach and they had that whole discussion about um what they think will happen when they die and they had those two altering um ideas of what happens when you die and i left out sitting and talking on the couch but that happens too yeah like i i loved all those dialogue sequences like it's funny you mentioned like the aa thing with the the main guy and the priest because those are like two of the most interesting characters and so when it was like them sitting down like

i'm already watching full attention but when those little aa meetings come up like all right i gotta really buckle in they're gonna have some some great back and forth dialogue that like builds one of them's trying to uncover the secrets well they're trying to uncover the secrets of each other using special language and like i i was that the sitting and talking on the couch the sitting and talking on the boat the the standing and talking. It was so much mystery, and you're trying to figure it out. The dialogue is what kept me coming back to the show. I'm glad that didn't go too far. I will say this.

We have spoiled a few things already. Spoiler tags are up. But this show is really good if you go in blind and you don't know any of this stuff. I felt like I went in so blind. I watched the first two minutes of the RLM review, and they were so in love love with it that you know especially mike um he he was just going off on it i was just like all right i don't want to watch any more of this i'm just gonna go watch this thing right now and i

watched seven hours straight of it and loved it so much the only scenes i liked like actively more than like them sitting down like in the aa or on the boat or whatever was the the sermons and like the priest giving his sermons like every time it was a church scene it was like okay what's he gonna say now every time he's inching a little closer to you know kind of being not quite with Christ so to speak and so it was really interesting watching that progress and all the ways he asked to like you know retcon the vampire that's clearly a's clearly a vampire, you know, but no, to him, it's an angel. It's still an angel. You're going to have to do horrible things, but it's an angel and he needs you to do. And so watching his kind of mental fracture was great.

Yeah, I thought his first sermon was his best. That's the one when I texted and I was like, this guy's going to convert me over here. And then like two nights ago, I got Dirty to watch it too. So Dirty's been watching and Dirty was like, guy's gonna convert me over here and then like like two nights ago i got dirty to watch it too so dirty's been watching and dirty was like dude i watched that priest like preach and like he's about to convert me i have to go over and i'm like yeah it's really fucking good i was like so far it was like i don't know where this is headed i'd never watched a pastor or a priest with that much further fervor and conviction and, you know, just command of the English language that, you know, it's like, oh, if this is what church was, I would have been there. Yeah. Like it would have been fun.

Not some old guy like doddering around saying the same thing he said 15 times before. Oh, you know what it also reminds me of? And I didn't I've been avoiding this because of the spoilers. But Cocoon. It is Cocoon. Have you ever seen Cocoon? I've never seen cocoon oh you gotta go out of cocoon so cocoon is and forgive me for the broad strokes but i was a small child this movie's from the 80s but it's basically like there's like an alien egg or like a bunch of alien eggs and this alien is keeping them like hidden in his swimming pool he's like a and he's like under the guise of being a rich guy or something like that and little does he know

their retirement home next door they're sneaking over and they've been using his pool like the old people have but being in the water amongst the alien eggs is rejuvenating them like like their eyesight is improving their sex life is is getting better the libido is getting better like their arthritis is healing and then all of a sudden like saturday night of the old folks home they're like doing the twist and like like all of their lives are like like like like just enriched so much by this by this whole situation and it's a real feel good kind of thing and like you i almost glossed over like every time we've spoken about this because i didn't want to spoil anything but like like when everybody is feeling that effect from the blood, you know, when the guy's back works and he can dance with his wife. And and when obviously when you see people being de-aged and stuff that that's that.

But I really like the stuff where like people were able to live their lives again, like little ailments were fixed. Obviously, when the little girl gets up and fucking walks. That's a fun premise. I just wrote that down so I could watch it. That sounds really cool. On Midnight Mass, Woody, did you feel like the last episode action sequence, is that what you felt

like it was building towards? Did you enjoy that at all or you felt like it was not enough action, too little, too late for your taste? Maybe too little, too late is a good description. will say that the very very end of it i don't want to ruin it um i was like oh that was brave i like what they did there yeah um but the people if you ever watch i'm talking about the last few seconds of the show yeah but uh uh for the most part i it was just too little too late. You know what I found interesting? If it's seven hours, there really are like six and a half hours of sitting and talking.

Yeah. And the sermons were standing and talking for their credit. Dialogue heavy. Yeah. I liked that. I don't know. I've watched so many movies lately that were kind of exhaustive action that I was down for like, let's sit and talk about this kind of movie.

And it is, it's a real mystery in the beginning that I was like working hard to like figure out as soon as I could. I like doing that with mysteries. And, and so that like really interested me and kept me hooked for a long time, just solving that mystery. And so like maybe in the second or third or fourth episode,

when he starts in his confessional saying, God, I'm going gonna tell them a lie tomorrow i'm gonna tell them this that and the other and you're like oh shit really and then he has a little flashback and you start getting those flashbacks to jerusalem and i like that part a lot and i remember thinking like how scary that would be for if you were i remember thinking how scary it would be if i got lost in jerusalem a man who has a cell phone and knows how to use it but then i thought what if you were 84 years old and you were having a mental break and you and and and you were lost in jerusalem and you had

spent your life on a tiny island in wherever the fuck united states yeah that would be scary and and like the idea that he like got lost on the road to damascus is so poetic like the whole thing like like i liked all of that stuff a lot the flashbacks i could watch a whole movie that was just like some like like in jerusalem like dealing with whatever else was in that tomb i might have been that would have been cool a little influence but i was super feverish sweating in my bed freezing in my bed so you weren't in a great mood with it it could be no i i think it was just kind of it was a slow-paced movie um with a lot of talking when i described it to people um i i yes i think it was a movie just it really is a long seven

hour long movies it's a set these limited series really is a seven hour long movie. These limited series, they're usually seven hour long movies. I actually kind of agree. I know I'm the one that corrected you, but if it's deep and developing and they just use seven hours to tell a story that you couldn't tell in two, sometimes TV shows are more movie than movies nowadays.

And there's no second season coming like like and i i like that too well they wrap this shit up yeah i i there's something to be said for someone who's like this is my story well no no no it was a really great story let's do some commercialistic profit on no there's not going to be a season two this is the story and that's it and i i like that yeah i do too i get more excited to watch those limited series than anything because i feel like it's like okay there's a guarantee that they're not going to get to the end of this and be like well we got to string it along like they have a planned end point when they start making it which means it's probably going to end up being better oh that's always excellent if they have a planned end point um as opposed to lost yeah well yeah well there's so many shows don't

i have i have my i have my whole theory about lost that involves the writer's strike and maybe the original and and maybe the original writers had a plan but what's for damn sure is that the scab writers had no way of knowing what the plan was. If there ever was a plan. I saw a YouTube video the other day titled was lost even a good show. And I was like, no, it is. It's well understood.

It's like a show people joke about for being so bad. It's like a pre game of Thrones. It lost would hook me. I would just love what I saw and be so excited about the next episode. And then it would do it again. and then it would do it again and then it would do it again until eventually you're like wait a minute none of this strings together properly it's like watching a bunch of really great trailers yeah i i never watched that show because it had ended by the time you know people were telling me to watch it and they're like oh

just watch the first five seasons and it's like like, well, that's still going to leave me with no idea what's supposed to happen. You could be a writer with that. Yeah, no, I have no interest in going back to that show ever. I'm out of shows right now. I don't have anything to watch. Watch this plane one. I'm going to finish it. I have to know how they get this much more.

I do that with bad audiobooks sometimes. Like, I am going to make it to the end of this book out of sheer will and discipline. Your movie sounds like the Langoliers mixed with... I don't even fucking know what. Like one of those stupid sun disaster movies. That sounds awful.

I don't want any part of that. I want something that's long with lots of episodes and is interesting and i don't want anybody to give me any recommendations because y'all have bad taste you don't want anybody like i'm not saying this because like whenever i say stuff like this people start messaging me i don't want you to message me i'm just i'm lamenting that i have ran out of things not that i want you to to help you can't. Yeah. Well, I mean, you just got to look through those

bootleg streaming sites you have. I scroll. I was on there last night and I'm scrolling through and it's like click, click, click, click. And I'm like, seen it, seen it, seen it, seen it, seen it. Don't want to see it. Don't want to see it. Seen it, seen it. Don't want to see it. Don't want to see that I don't have access to right now. The new Ghostbusters.

The trailer for that was fantastic and I don't know anything else. I didn't know they made another one. They've been dangling it in front of us. That and the James Bond. I think it's out. I think they're both out. I could watch either of them if I wanted, I think. I don't really want to watch

a movie right now. Thanksgiving, I'm having people over. I'm cooking the full Thanksgiving. That's what we should talk about. Next topic. What are y'all doing for Thanksgiving? I'm cooking the full Thanksgiving. That's what we should talk about. Next topic. All right. What are y'all doing for Thanksgiving? Because I'm cooking the full Thanksgiving dinner. I'm deep frying the turkey. I'm doing multiple sides. I'm doing a dessert.

And I'm hosting. That's very nice. My grandma, well, I have to go to both sides of my family, but my grandma and grandpa and brothers, we're all going their house and she's i think deep frying two turkeys um she's making a bunch of filet mignon i think that she's she's either frying a bunch of chicken or frying fish i'm not sure which one

i'm good with either they're both both great. And then, of course, all the standard trimmings and stuffings and everything. Did you say you're good with fish for Thanksgiving? Yeah, but she does a smorgasbord. It's just a pick whatever you want. In addition to two fried turkeys and a platter of filet mignon. Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't... Now I get it. It's just a huge amount of food. And then she also, like, we can make special requests. And so she'll already have like a hundred sides out. And she'll almost bully us and be like, you know what? I forgot to make fried okra. Would you boys like some fried okra? And we're like,

I'm about to have a heart attack. And she's like, you know what? You just sit right there. I'm going to fry you up some okra. And then she fries up two pounds of okra. I love fried okra. It's so good. I like it too. I hate it as a kid, but as an adult, I would occasionally order it. I'm like, this is fucking good. I mean, it's fried and all. Two years ago, Taylor said something like, my grandmother makes a ton of food.

I know you think your grandmother does, but my grandmother kicks your grandmother's ass. And now I'm like, yeah, I think you can safely say that to an audience of a quarter million people that their grandmother cannot hang with this it's outrageous could you take some photographs of the spread like i like that too put it on the whatsapp i'd love this like what if he's lying to us this whole time he doesn't have grandparents i'm eating a banquet meal by myself we've heard about these grandparents and they're just all a figment in his imagination he lost them all in like a fucking train accident and in the late 80s cranberry on the side yeah i'll take one i usually for christmas day if we're there for Christmas Day, she does a huge seafood boil with lobster and crab and

andouille sausage and corn and potatoes and shrimp. I think I've sent you guys a photo of that where she gets that giant pot the size of my torso and just dumps it onto the kitchen island. It's so wonderful. I always feel like absolute dog shit leaving. It's rough.

Two Thanksgivings this year. We're doing one with just our family then another one the george foreman's uh yeah friends that are like family so the foreman's are coming over and we're doing a second uh thanksgiving with them that's awesome that you know them yeah it is nice great yeah you know we're trying to nuzzle up close to the grill fortune, see if any of it rubs off on us. That's right. You love their grills. That's how y'all met. You were always talking about George Foreman chicken on the show.

It's all been playing the long game, pretending I like the grills just to get in. No, I'm excited. I didn't do Thanksgiving. What else are you making for sides, Kyle? I'm keeping it kind of simple. I don't like vegetables for the most part. I certainly don't like those vegetable casseroles

that everybody seems to like, like butternut squash. Green bean casserole. Green bean casserole and all that shit. I never do anything green really for Thanksgiving. This is not a healthy meal. So I deep fry the turkey. I'm going to inject it with Cajun butter and stuff

and rub it with Cajun shit. And then really fancy mashed potatoes that are just more butter than mashed potatoes, uh, macaroni and cheese. Um, I got this like cave aged, uh, is it Gruyere? Cave aged? I don't know, man. I don't know why they put in caves, but they do. And, uh, and I'm making this like recipe I found for the ultimate macaroni and cheese.

That's like three different fancy cheeses and, uh, and, uh, big noodles and I'm going this recipe I found for the ultimate macaroni and cheese. It's like three different fancy cheeses and big noodles. And I'm going to bake it. And then I'm going to do deviled eggs and a sweet potato souffle. And I haven't decided if I'm going to go with a marshmallow topping or a pecan praline topping. But I may go with both. Maybe both. It's hard to go wrong with either one. You just do the pecan pralines and then do the

marshmallows on top yeah have you made all those things before uh yeah i've made everything and the only thing i haven't cooked before is um that uh that thing where you take the tenderloin and wrap it in uh the puff pastry and and cook it the um oh wellington beef wellington yeah that's the only thing i've i've never cooked i've done everything else it's apparently very very very hard. Even Gordon Ramsey says, because it's, what is it, like the filet and then you wrap it in prosciutto and then the crushed mushrooms with stuff in there? Yeah, that have been like pureed and sauteed to get the moisture out. Yeah, it's hard to get the puff pastry to be crispy while getting the steak to be cooked to temperature correctly, apparently. And then if you're trying to get artistic with the puff pastry on top that's its own skill some people do this

whole thing where it looks like it's um like a um accordion yeah it's pretty wild but no i've never done that um for two reasons one it's kind of expensive if you do a full beef and tenderloin they're about 100 bucks um then it's gonna take me a couple hours to cook the thing and then there's the other ingredients and then what if i fucking ruin it yeah that'd be a damn shame you could do an individual one though you just take a nice tenderloin and like wrap it in puff pastry and bake the fucker and like i guess you could kind of get there that way yeah you can find a youtube video to get you there even the worst chefs on on hell's kitchen can you know get something going with a yeah here's the thing about chef's kitchen that i think i think they're just under such a rush that it's just almost impossible to do those

basic things so when they can't do um what's the thing they always fuck up that that not um the risotto the risotto yeah risotto is like um is a rice dish where it's like um and it takes a while to do it and it's either awful or edible it has like two modes and and and like they don't they don't it's not that good to begin with first of all but they don't give them enough time to cook it it's it's like all right you've got 60 seconds to make a perfect risotto it's like sir it's it takes at least three and a half four minutes like like if we're being real here you know i can't do it i wish one of them would just say that i refuse and he just goes like get out of the kitchen you just can't i just don't think they give

enough time to do some of that stuff because because like most of it is simple shit it's not that they're being tested on like their cooking ability necessarily like becoming like the are you the best chef in the world can you cook the most fantastic thing it's more about like can you work as a team and be a line cook as as like part of a machine an assembly line yeah that's the hard i think you're 100 right like it's it's the time limit thing because you give them unlimited time or like a generous amount of time every single person from episode one except for like the two idiots they bring in to to make fun of the first couple episodes all of them could do everything required dude how

embarrassing is it if you figure out that you're one of the two idiots that they only brought in as a joke it's got to be embarrassing because sometimes they talk the biggest sometimes they talk the biggest in the first couple episodes to the point that like it's almost like i'm convincing myself that it's so obviously an inside man because it'll be like pre any cookery and they'll be like I already know my opponents I know them inside and out up and down two minutes into episode one I'm going to dominate them they haven't seen

my risotto they haven't seen the way I use spices I have a perfect palette do you know how many people have a perfect palette it's rare you give me a green bean I'll tell you exactly what it is. This ain't no pee. They do those tests where they

give little tastes of obscure things and it's really hard. And he puts a blindfold on him and headphones. Some of them are. They'll get them wrong, Stuff like that. Like a chef who just made a perfect risotto

will get fed a piece of a banana and then it'll be like 30 seconds. Gordon's like, answer. Aaron, need you to answer. He's like, strawberry. I don't know. Everyone's like, ha ha ha ha. Then they get up there and they fail

tremendously. One guy couldn't figure out scrambled eggs at one point, which is, you know, pretty, pretty easy to tell if you're eating a scrambled egg or not. Pretty easy to tell if you're eating a watermelon. And like apparently it must be a hard thing, blindfolded and deafened, because when someone goes like eight for eight, even if it includes stuff like, like watermelon or honeydew, like banana, if they get it all, Gordon's like genuinely impressed. You can tell when he's genuinely impressed in the show. He's like,

all right, John, like I'm, I'm surprised. But that is a funny thing. Cause you would imagine that any chef could name most flavors. It's good. Yeah.

You've managed that any person could name most flavors. Oh, it's true, but it's, it's, it's obscure stuff. Like, I don't remember the last time I tasted butternut squash. And I remember that's often one of them.

He's got like a little cube of butternut squash. And it's just like, I don't even know what that tastes like. Yeah, they make soup out of it. I like that soup. It's a little fattening, though. They'll fuck it up in like an understandable way. It'll be butternut squash, and they'll be like, I don't know, pumpkin? And it's like, okay, you're in the same wheelhouse here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a good show. My wife and me by extension, I've been watching this show, The Great British Bakery, The Great British Bake Off Show. I watch that sometimes, yeah. It's good. I like that it's a much happier, lighter feel for a cooking show because you're so inundated in the world of Gordon Ramsay

where it's so much yelling and screaming and meanness. Like this old woman who, like every time someone gets kicked off, she's like, and that leaves me to give the horrible news. Jody, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And she's like tearing up to like say goodbye. And it's like, well, this is a much friendlier show. Have you seen them compare Hell's Kitchen

Britain to US? The side-by-side? It's night and day. The US, it's that music. It's like, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun. And it's just like, dude, they're fucking making salads. Chill the fuck out. What's the worst thing that can happen

today? Like a cut finger in a band-aid like like it's not world war three but in the british version it's it's like oh that's right they're making salads so the camera's just like so now they'll make salads yeah it's not always exciting around here i suppose but then they'll still stay on for three fucking minutes while they all mix salads and shoot the shit and smoke fucking cigarettes yeah a completely different show if like and i've watched both versions like if you're more interested in the actual cooking the british one is much is leagues better but if you like the hectic nonsense then the american one's better for sure because gordon goes a little harder in the paint against people in the american one because he knows that's what's selling his fame.

Man, that guy's awesome. I wonder how much money he's made. I saw a clip the other night, and he was – I guess this guy was getting kicked off the show, and I don't know anything about the background. I haven't seen that season, but he basically paid for the guy's culinary school. I almost said it the way he says, culinary. He paid for his culinary school when he um when he like like back home or whatever

because he thought he was talented just didn't really know what he was doing he's done that multiple times yeah it's pretty cool of him i i bet that's i i bet it's pretty cheap for him to do it though i i would imagine the culinary school is probably like giving him a discount or something like that or taking care of it for him or helping him somehow but then on the other hand he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars right he's gotta say i saw one like that or taking care of it for him or helping him somehow. But then on the other hand, he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, right? He's got to say, I saw one recently where he took care of the kid's parents.

He's, he's done like really nice stuff like that before. Like, uh, I'd never seen a parent one. I didn't know that. Like medical bills. Uh,

it sounded to me like living expenses. It was just a Reddit clip. Oh yeah. He's a cool guy sometimes, which brings him around to somewhat likable. I like when he's hanging out with his family. I like those videos, like when he cooks with his daughter and his son. Those are always fun videos. It looks like they have a good time.

They're always real lighthearted. Obviously, he doesn't scream at his children. Obviously, he doesn't scream at anyone when there aren't cameras. But it's kind of fun to see him and and his kid like make chicken or fish or something together uh he's the richest chef in the world right i don't know um i don't know so does wolfgang puck have more money like like does he have has he done more stuff i don't know i don't know i thought he was more like a 90s guy i don't know i don't know. I don't know. Maybe he is. Guy Fieri is only 20.

I thought he had all that like fucking TGI Friday's money or something. Oh, 20 million. I was like, no way he's 20. That guy's like 40. Some guy named Alan Wong is worth $1.1 billion. Absolutely blows the pants off John Oliver. Not John Oliver. Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay at a paltry $220 million.

Is Emeril Lagasse on the list? That guy was my favorite as a kid. Wolfgang Puck is number six, $90 million. Then there's Rachel Ray. Emeril Lagasse, $70 million. Nice. You were used to Cook, right? She had the whole empire, though.

Bitch makes furniture yeah yeah i think she's too rich for this whole list throw off the curve i think i might have a martha stewart fucking couch out there like she's getting it coming and going man um no it's interesting that her her reputation didn't really take a hit with the insider trading yeah she's just a little cooler now yeah honestly yeah i don't think anybody cared like i don't think anybody cared because at the time i think it like it was a real risk people thought maybe you know because the martha stewart isn't just a product it's a brand it's a vibe it's a you know perfect person her whole thing I don't know, like an almost unachievable perfect mom type deal.

And then when she becomes this felon for insider trading and the ankle bracelet and the whole thing, it was like when Howard got divorced, right? Howard was this naughty man. But behind the scenes, he was this loyal this loyal great guy and then that became not true but i didn't hurt him the same thing with martha it's parallel yeah it's funny like i remember the stories about her coming out when it was you know you know many years ago 16 years ago when she was going to prison so five months in federal prison in march 2005 there was speculation that the incident would effectively destroy her media empire, but in 2005 she began a comeback campaign.

The company returned to profitability in 2006. Very quick on that upturn. It seems like the trick to not being cancelled is to just hold your chin up and decide not to be cancelled. Just have a billion dollars and go to jail.

It depends on the situation, right? Al Franken. Al Franken allowed himself to be canceled. He touched that grope-proof flak jacket and then quit his job and left and

put his tail between his legs. Or he might have been forced to leave. Yeah, it could have been a behind-the-scenes thing. That probably often happens. I don't know how that happens, but it seems like it. Leave or his donors could tell him leave or we're going to back this candidate next year and you're going to be embarrassed.

Or he could just not. I feel like if he called their bluff and said, you know what? All right. I pretended to touch a boob through this untouchable jacket. I'm not going anywhere then three weeks later it would be a new story

it was faux rape I'm an actor it's a little pretending to rape I mean you gotta do what Virginia Dovner did as long as you do a bow after any horrific act you can just get away with it you can just honk

a honk a honk an ass or a titty in public and then do a bow and you're all good remember like that uh the virginia governor like a year or two ago everyone was like is he gonna resign because of the blackface thing in the fucking 70s or 80s and it's like no he actually lost his vote he

just got virginia's got a new governor right oh did he get he get knocked out in an election? I don't know. One Virginia. Yeah. So maybe that was part of, I don't, I don't know if he even ran. I think there were two different guys that were running. He hung around around to the end of his term though.

Right? Like he never resigned or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's the, well, I guess that is the smarter move, but I think Kyle is right. And that like, these guys are just doing what they're you know advisors and PR people

are instructing them and people from like the DNC or the RNC like oh you're no longer a viable candidate get the fuck out of here I hear you I think they crumble I think it is much harder to be at the center of this hurricane around you where everyone's hating you than most people would guess. Yeah. And they're just like, all right, fuck it. This is never getting better. This is never ending.

This is horrible. I'm out. I just want to stop. That's fair. Yeah. Most people can't imagine that. You know who doesn't do that? Trump.

Trump can be in the middle of a cat five hurricane shit storm and he's just like well fuck all of you yeah i'll do it again yeah it he's nearly unaffected by it well not nearly unaffected he was depersoned by every big tech company in the to his advantage to his advantage no his bullshit platforms don platforms don't help at all compared to the real ones. The real ones didn't help him at all. Oh, they did. Joe Biden taking Zoom calls in a basement beat Donald Trump with every megaphone available. He would just sit there and shoot himself in the foot every single day.

Every day was another like, I can't believe Trump is doing this outrage. Every day he'd tell a lie that would get disproven. Every day he'd tell a, I don't know, he's out there saying maybe we should inject disinfectant in people's things or shove a light bulb up their ass or whatever. He won 2016, I think, because he utilized the big tech

platforms, the existing ones, to get a bigger reach than he could even get on a lot of the mainstream media organizations. I do think in 2016 he had a magic that he has since lost. Without big tech and like an accessibility to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, like Google ads, he has 0% chance of being elected again. It's not going to happen. I think that his odds are better. I think the idea of Trump is more powerful than the actual Trump. I think the idea of this throwing a Molotov cocktail in Washington, DC and saying, this is our boy is he is more popular now than

he was when he had access to all that big tech. If he had Twitter right now, every day, he'd just be tweeting about how he actually won in 2020. And he'd be looking like a sad piece of shit. Instead, it's not the real trump it is this sort of memory of the greatest parts of trump that exists and that is a much harder thing to beat than him with access to a keyboard who would the republicans run to say it's the next one if it's not trump the florida governor seems to be the leading guy these things change i mean last time i made this prediction i lost a hundred dollars to kyle so here i am uh i'm on a hot street but uh yeah if people don't remember he was like it's gonna be bernie or biden and i'm like it's so early i will take the other 32 nfl teams and you get whatever the best two. That was a bad call. That's what's up.

But yeah, DeSantis looks like the guy. Chris Christie says he's running. We'll see how far that goes. He's never ran. That's a sick line. I like it. I've heard a lot of lies. When Chris Christie told me he was going to run.

There's a real argument that guy will be dead before he gets there. That's what I've been saying about Trump, but I've been wrong. He's overweight. told me he was going to run there's a real argument that guy will be dead before that's what i've been saying about trump but i've been wrong you know he's overweight he's gonna he's 75 now maybe he'll be 78 next time he runs but uh most that's what i hear but um you know he seems fine i don't cry i might have bought into some bullshit when I saw him drink water with two hands and stuff. Now I feel like that's all gone. I don't know.

He's an athletic man. He is. He's an elite level athlete. I mean, fitness is... It's core to his being. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't want to work out next to him.

Guy's intimidating. I'm interested if he has lost weight. I haven't seen a picture of him in public in forever. I wonder if he went back to pre-president Trump body. Still not great, but a hell of a lot better than it was by year four. Do you think he got bigger off four years? I think he got fatter. To me, what is it called when you run for election? Campaign Trump.

Campaign Trump is the fat one but the rest of it is kind of a less fat one i think it could be maybe i'm like just looking at pictures from the apprentice in like 2005 when he was you know 60 or something amongst us didn't look better 15 years ago that's fair that's fair yeah that'll be interesting to see yeah so uh but yeah i don't know i i know i can't wear out politics now the election's three years away oh i don't care about politics unless trump's in there it's only interesting if you've got like a madman in there doing crazy shit and like just just he told hillary clinton she'd be in jail if he were the president that was funny now the fact that it was alive that a lie doesn't make it any less funny.

That shit was funny. He said it to her face in front of us all. I don't know how good Trump is as a candidate. I can make arguments both ways. I'll do it real quick. Trump ran for office for the first time and became president of the United States. Can you imagine me trying track and field and winning an Olympic gold medal in my first race? In some ways, he has the best political instincts that have ever existed in any politician

ever. You could make that argument. You could make the other argument and say he lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton, one of the most unpopular, unlikable people ever. Now, I know that's not how you choose. But he narrowly won an election. Because the Electoral College kind of just broke his way. Which are the rules. And then the second time, he lost to Joe Biden. Who sat in a basement and took Zoom calls.

While Trump shot himself in the foot week after week after week. And lost the election. There aren't many sitting presidents who lose re-election, but Trump managed to do that. In addition to that, he lost the House. And then through some just bullshittery, he managed to lose the Senate, telling people their votes don't count and to not vote in Georgia. This guy lost the House, the Senate, and the president in four years. You could make the counter argument. I can go both ways. He won

an Olympic gold in his first track and field match, but it was Hillary and he somehow was less popular than her. I don't know. I don't know. It is hard to predict what Trump can do the next time around, but I don't know that anyone beats him in a primary. We'll see. It'll be interesting to see if anyone disrespects Trump. If anyone goes toe to toe, I would like to watch that show to see a guy, I don't know, call him a liar on the debate stage to see a guy just you know tell him that you know like what kind of person likes being lied to what why would you choose this man like what is it about you that is okay with the way that he treats you like i would love to see that happen on the debate stage and see how people respond to it it's gonna be a good show they never do that they never just tinsel up on those debate stages they're're not going for the throat, really. Jeb doesn't have the balls. But next time around, maybe Christy does

or maybe DeSantis does. Chris Christy getting into a verbal altercation with Donald Trump on stage. Chris Christy is going to look like a foolish little bowling ball next to Trump doing his grandiose hand motions. You want this guy talking to Putin? You want this guy talking to China? You want this guy talking to China?

Really? I don't know. I see him differently than you. I see him as a smarter guy than Trump, the smoother talker, and the guy who took out Mark Rubio. Trump is good on a stage, though, and so that's why on a stage, that's one of his core. But he also is a total narcissist. It's easy for him

to get off track in debates because all they have to do is say something that malignsigns him personally and he'll spend five minutes like saying that's not true i never did that you're a fool you're a retard like he'll he'll like that seems like the ticket if you want to distract him from anything or get him off his game is like attack him personally and then make it visible that like oh this guy's kind of just in it to look good himself. Like he wants his legacy as president as that. More than an agenda. I don't remember him doing that. I remember him interrupting the heck out of Biden.

And to me, Biden looked a little cucked in that thing. But to the world, Trump looked like a jerk and that was their takeaway. So I thought if you told me trump won that by just being the alpha on stage i would have bought it but that's not how people saw it they saw him as a dick and i never know what to think about those like post-debate things because like like literally news organizations that endorse a particular candidate will be like wouldn't you know what the person we're endorsing dominated.

They did wonderful. We endorsed Joe Biden and he won that debate. Hands down. Don't watch it. Maybe. I feel like this time around, opinions were so firm that debates didn't change anything. Yeah. We'll see.

Do you think they usually do debates like they sometimes do? Like historically, they can. But with regards to Trump, I don't know anyone who hasn't made their mind to trump i don't know anyone who hasn't made their mind up i don't know anyone who's on the fence like uh you know we'll see he could win me over like no everyone's opinion is set so i think we just need a new rule what should be the max age should be i was gonna say 70 no. Max age of 60. No, 50. Max age of 50. That person needs to anticipate living

at least a few more decades in the world they're helping create. Not someone who's going to be in their 40s. That might be a little young. These are the rules I'm making up right now. I corrected. If you turn 50 in office, removed by the police executed

what we should do is like what the the athenians did for many years is they would just randomly pick i think 500 citizens and that they would be that year's worth of like lawmakers and things and then they would get removed and new ones would come in that's worth of like lawmakers and things and then they would get removed and new ones would come in that's a better system i would take 500 random people from around this country over all these bought and paid for assholes uh in congress it'd be great klingons had a system where if you could beat up the guy in charge of you then you were now in charge like silverback gorillas what's wrong with that system? I'm not sure if that's accurate. You don't know if that's the Klingon way of politics?

I think it is the Klingon way of politics. And Jon Jones for president. The toughest guy gets to be president. That'd be good. It'd keep people young. It'd be just a revolving door of UFC guys. You wouldn't need that max 50-year-old rule. Tito Ortiz isn't beating anybody up.

Yeah, that's true. It'd be like 27-year-olds on performance-enhancing drugs. Oh, shit. You have to be 35. So there'd be this end-of-career UFC. You'd go from retiring from the UFC and to becoming president. That'd be a common career path or even better well not even better next best thing we switch presidents like every four

to eight months like nobody is even in there long enough to get anything done and so you know everything kind of stagnates and the country falls apart slowly. Slowly? It could work. Well, no, no faster than it is now. It's okay. It is a weird thing, like watching the U.S. lose its number one position. I used to wonder how England did that. How do you live with yourself? You were a global empire,

and now you're just one of the many countries around. Yet here we are. China has more billionaires than america now that happened recently and uh in some ways their economy is bigger than ours in some ways ours is still the number one i think ours is mostly the number one but you see where it's headed we are watching america become number two yeah and then i think we'll probably be number two for a long time, right? Like who's coming up after China? I don't know. I hear like the one I keep seeing, I don't know about taking our spot.

I guess it'd probably be India is the third biggest, maybe. I don't know. Or Japan. But Nigeria is supposed to be growing like crazy. Apparently their population is exploding. It's bigger than you might think it is because africa looks regular on the map but it's actually ginormous and uh it's like nigeria is the next china okay really we'll see yeah the good fighters that's all i know yeah that one guy yeah don't invade them

dude taylor did you watch that hockey thing i told you to watch which thing uh it was a documentary no i haven't watched it yet oh my god there's so there are this team is owned by literal gangsters a mobster who they say the sopranos was based on bought a minor league hockey team for his 17 year old son and he stocks it up with tough guys and good hockey players and it's a good team they got like second in their calder cup or whatever it's called is it called crimes and penalties yeah i think so and uh anyway at one point one of their better fighters gets hit with a cheap shot and it's it's a possibly career-ending legacy and his best friend on the team was known as the nigerian nightmare and they're interviewing him and

they're like yeah you know it was his career could have been over so i did what i did they just they flashed to it he beats the fuck out of like everyone he can. He's so big. He's kicking everyone's ass. And you know how there's like this hold me back, hold me back. No, he's not faking. He's not hold me back, bro. He's literally breaking free and taking on another victim.

And he just won the guy. I thought he wanted me to like fake hold him back but no they really needed me to hold him back he killed him yeah i'll spoil this the the first game of this whole hockey like this it's a brand new hockey team that they created called the trashers and uh the kid's dad the actual gangster calls up their leading fighter he's on the bed like it they're like i was like during the anthem or something like that and the dad points to his phone pick up the phone so there he is about the play and he's like as soon as the puck drops kick his ass i got your boss that's how they're like their season big their their whole enterprise

begins the guy drops the gloves and starts a fight uh as soon as the puck drops for the first time ever and this does look awesome it is so i was in tears it was like avengers end game i like and i like victory victory is my thing i'm all about it and and i'm just watching these guys like they're the bad guys but somehow i'm rooting for them and every time they they emulate the 1970s flyers i'm loving it oh i'm looking at like the nigerian nightmares hockey stats. Okay. And he was an AHL career guy. He played 69 games in the NHL, had two goals, three assists, 137 penalty minutes,

which isn't as bad as you would think. In the AHL, where he did all of his fighting, 272 games, 13 goals, 47 assists, 1,025 penalty minutes. He was getting like 300 penalty minutes a year just fighting that's like that's like two fights a game or something ludicrous all the players were like i want to come back next year i want to come back of course they completely circumvented the salary cap they mark rupo rupio something like that he played for the devils but it was a lockout year

and they're calling his agent and they're like they want you to come on they need a goal scorer and uh he's like all right but the thing is they want to pay you in cash he's like cash like like check like no literally a duffel bag filled to the brim with dollars in it and that's how they paid this guy everyone on the team was getting paid like there's the salary you'd get from the trashers and then there'd be another one from a garbage company and another one from like a retail agency and a massage spa and they were just getting checks from everywhere they're like we kind of knew what was happening oh there's a there's a hockey podcast called spitting chiclets and there's a couple ex-nhl guys on there one of

them paul bissonette not good enough to be in the NHL he was a fighter but what's often the career path is those guys go over and play in the KHL the second best league in the world in in Russia and he tells a bunch of stories about how like people on the team and himself they'd be like we need more money like we need more money to keep playing here we're not getting enough we're already living in fucking Russia and like because so many of the teams are owned by literally russian gangsters like this but on a higher scale he said they would like drive them in like lincoln's to like a different location and just hand them like a briefcase full of cash like american cash and be like there's your there's

the next half of your salary in the khl. But as far as anybody knows, you're still only making $230,000 American. But here's $300,000. Don't mention anything because we need to work. And it was so common that apparently players were like, yeah, well, after the game, I got to take a ride with Sergey, get my money. I was kind of impressed for a little bit at how good a GM this kid was. He's 17 years old he's putting together a team and in their first year they make it to this i'll call it the stanley cup

like this is pretty like the kid knows how to get a fucking team together i'm impressed yeah i would be a good gm if i had unlimited cash just ignored the salary cap yeah everyone you hire is a star how's the gm of the yankees so good all the time well he has unlimited money that's how he's so good yeah yeah can't stop the braves though can't stop won't stop the atlanta braves you are muted my friend are they gonna be good next year the braves yeah they signed a lot of the talent yeah and a lot of those guys like like um i watched this whole youtube video about one of their pitchers. I'm going to get his name wrong because I'm not a real fan.

He played in the 90s and I'm a big fan of his. He was a good pitcher for the Braves. He was one of the best pitchers for anybody. It's like Mechilek or whatever. It's the guy who had those couple ridiculous innings in the playoffs. They calculated that he

alone gave the braves like a 12.5 percent increased chance of winning the world series like uh baseball stats are crazy yeah um but but he had gone through the yips and he was all the way down in like bullshit baseball like a year ago or something like that he had gone from like a rising star to having the yips. He spent a year and a half playing catch to get his mind right. He started two feet away from his partner. Here, catch this, and then tossing it back. Two feet. This is a major league pitcher.

That's crazy. He's already pitched in the majors, but he's lost it, gotten the yips, and he has to go through this recovery thing where like his therapy involves playing catch like an infant would play catch, like feet away from each other and then backing up. He's like – They sit down foot to foot and roll the ball from dick to dick. Yeah, yeah.

Like a kid. And he comes all the way back, and he has like one of the most lights out, impressive performances of any postseason. It's incredible. I went back and watched the innings. He comes in in trouble and gets them out of it masterfully. It's great.

Several times. That's cool. That's cool. And then UGA's killing it. Yeah, great year for sports for me. Been a good year. Been a good year. It's like you live in Boston.

Yeah, Atlanta's the new Boston. Without the smell. Or the herpes. I don't know about without the... We got the herpes. Do your part, Kyle. What was the bet that we had that I

won? I'm trying to remember what that was. Oh, $5 on... Oh, the Rittenhouse verdict. That's what I wanted to talk about. I don't really care about the bet as much as I knew it was about something I wanted to talk about. So yeah, Kyle Rittenhouse,

innocent of all charges. I watched a small amount of the coverage, like maybe 10 minutes, but I think the 10 minutes I watched were pert amount of the coverage, like maybe like 10 minutes. But I think the 10 minutes I watched were like pertinent 10 minutes. Like I saw when the jury had to be removed and I saw, you know, the prosecutor being scolded by the judge and all that stuff. And they broke all that down. Seems like he was innocent of the charges that they charged him with.

And and it was pretty interesting it always is i think to see like someone's reaction when they get that not guilty verdict like like he collapsed he was having a meltdown and then i saw him smiling in the the car leaving that was great i love that that was pretty funny that's gonna be memeable for a while i tend to line up with like the official answer sometimes like again, I don't know. It just, I guess I'm wired like that. And,

uh, the way I see it, he engaged this guy. He ran from the guy because of that. It was self-defense. The guy was chasing him. Who knows what happens if the guy catches him, you know,

takes his gun and does something terrible. Like it, it's not going to go well for him. Maybe catches a beating, but so, uh, because he ran away, and does something terrible. It's not going to go well for him. Maybe he catches a beating. So because he ran away, it felt like he had a pretty valid self-defense claim. And then the next two were almost super valid.

They were all attacking him. And once the first one's valid, the next two are. I saw where they got that one guy to admit, the one who had the pistol. They're like, so when he shot you, you had your hand gun pointed at his head is that like something like that and he's like well well yeah yeah yeah i i always thought the next two were just a downstream effect of the first one i can't believe that the prosecution would even want i guess they can't stop him i mean is it no he had to be a witness for the prosecution this guy who had a gun

like wasn't he also the child molester no i don't think the first one was the child molester the dead guy yeah the first one of one of the first ones dead the other dead was a child molester or something one was a and i think the one that got shot in the arm maybe wasn't a bad guy uh oh he was a felon who had a weapon yeah i remember at some point they were like and then there's that they had put the jury out of the room and they were like and then there's the other issue that we obviously cannot discuss with the prior record and it's just like it's like oh my god they got so much shit going on here like like if if the jury was allowed to know any of this stuff they'd be like wait a minute y'all got a child molester and a felon chasing that little boy

well that like the news said he was a white supremacist in terms of that's relevant when kyle was making his decisions on shoot or no shoot is it self-defense like whether or not that guy the first one spent most of his adult life in jail because of the i'm saying pedo stuff i don't know how young they were but i think they were pretty young i think pedo might be an actual they were like children yeah like under 11 between the ages of 9 and 11 there were five different instances i believe that that lines up with my memory yes so like and that guy spent most of his adult life in jail because of that stuff and then he comes out and now he's attacking rittenhouse i yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was awful.

You just wish that... I feel like I'm going to get... If I'm Kyle Rittenhouse, I'm making little paper planes, throwing them at the jury. Like... He molested children. So he got off on everything.

It does feel kind of yucky. Like a couple weeks beforehand, he's on video saying he wanted to shoot shoplifters. You know, we don't love shoplifters, but I think it's not an appropriate punishment for stealing condoms and lipstick, right? And what he said, like, I think, and he said this too. He said something like, I wish I had my rifle because there's they're stealing or something like that right and i heard him say something like that yeah but he didn't go and shoot shoplifters and thieves he but it goes to self-defense we're talking about his mindset and then he goes to this protest with the gun.

I feel like he went there with a, you know what? I wish a motherfucker would kind of attitude. You could say that about Superman. He's always got those laser eyes. He shows up where he knows crimes might be committed. I mean, it's almost premeditated. If you think about it,

if he lays to somebody, you know, it's kind of a good counter argument. Like a modern day Batman. he's not the hero we need or the billionaire yet but he is a hero i mean what he knows it's funny like i'm open to this idea yeah they're looking for trouble and he kind of started it no he didn't batman

every night he's looking for trouble if you tell someone stop damaging that car and then they chase you and try and steal your firearm did you start it yeah i mean what it's not because he didn't ask like his job to protect cars. He went there thinking, if anyone does anything I think is out of line, I'm going to handle this problem. And that feels a little... That's what vigilantism is.

He didn't go around shooting people who were lighting fires at the car lot. Someone chased him. There's now the HD video of that initial thing. He got chased. The guy was trying to take his gun from him. He him he turned shot him and then now a mob is running after him they suspected that if he caught him he would try he was still six feet away it's to say that he was trying to take his gun from him as premature i mean he was running at him right but

that's just not the same thing as trying to take his gun from him which is what you actually said until he has his hand maybe his intention was to beat him up like it you don't know that it's the same thing as trying to take his gun from him, which is what you actually said. He was chasing you down the alley. Maybe his intention was to beat him up. You don't know that his intention was to take the gun from him and turn him on. But it is a possibility. Kyle Rittenhouse went to this thing sort of thinking, if anyone

gets out of line, I'm going to take care of it. And that does feel a little yucky because someone got out of line and he ended up care of it and that does feel a little yucky because someone got out of line and he ended up killing two people and wounding another and i in self-defense yeah in self-defense certainly when you look at like this specific way that it went down i i really like the written house ran because written house ran from this. I'm lining up with the self-defense thing. I think the jury was right. Let's say he didn't run. Let's say that Rittenhouse stood his ground from the beginning.

You know, you fucking scratch that car. I'm going to end you. And the guy comes at Kyle and he shoots him. That would feel that's not what happened, but that's bad. Well, I mean, yeah, if something different happened, we'd respond to it differently. But I just think like a point that's getting mishmashed out there is like, oh, he went there and he was ready to murder anybody who touched a car. And it's like, OK, well, there were lots of cars being torched and he didn't murder any of those people.

It wasn't until someone was trying to attack him that all this went down. And then two subsequent people tried to attack him. Well, the guy tried to attack him because he told him not to touch a car. And that's rational. Don't touch that car. It doesn't belong to you. And you go at someone with a gun. And if you're going at someone with a gun, what do you think?

You're going to finesse them like avatar out of it? Like, no, you're going to try and take the gun. Well, there's some assumptions there, right? But I don't know. It does seem like you don't want people to go into these riots looking to shoot anyone who gets out of line. Isn't that what the police do? Yeah, that is what the police are for. That's what the cops are for. They're supposed to go in there and clear the area.

Try non-lethal first right they tend to use pepper spray and tear gas and make people not be in the area i think it's easy to say we shouldn't lionize vigilantism while also being like this is an instance where this person was 100 defending themselves that's what i'm saying all along like that that's my point this look, he tried to disengage. He didn't want to kill him. He did want to stop him from scratching the car, but when he had an opportunity to not fight him, he took it or tried to take it.

And then there wasn't available to him. So he's innocent. I get it. I'm on board with that. I still look at the very beginning of it. It's just a little yucky. You know, he went there with this gun looking to be an amateur cop.

I think he's going to make a ton of money out of this. Like, cause like the media was like out and out slandering him for like a year, calling him a white supremacist that, you know, just so much fake nonsense surrounding it. Like that one kid, the,

the, the kid who CNN and all the news sites they ran with that fake story of like look at all these white racist white supremacist mega kids charging at this native american man it's like that's not what happened and that one guy got his face all sandman and he made like boatloads of money and this is a way bigger story than that ever was so i bet he makes so we don't know how much he made it is true so what the what i saw the media do was edit this thing and the kid we're talking about the kid with the maga hat who was kind of smirking while the savage american played his tambourines all around him right and uh he was trying to put a spell on him is what I'm told. So if you just look at that, and I fell for it personally,

you see this smirking kid with the MAGA hat and the guy, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whatever he's singing. And it's like you think the kid's a jerk. But if you watch the whole video, it's like, dude, the Indian went to him. Like the kid wasn't the bad guy but if you they kind of selectively edited it to make it look like he was and he won an undisclosed settlement everyone's saying it's 250 million because he sued for 250 million i would be surprised if he actually got a quarter billion dollars but But he got something that made him settle. And I bet it was multiple millions.

I'm sure. I bet it was like, don't work for the rest of your life, millions. Yeah, maybe, maybe. I bet it was. So, and the news really did slant that story and disparage his character. With Rittenhouse,

I didn't see them call him a white supremacist maybe they did I saw them like in multiple articles or maybe white nationalist was the was the term they used so they called him a white nationalist and that he went there with the intent to murder people and it's like oh CNN just called me a white nationalist my life is destroyed forever like that that like we're going to get a job I'm never going to get half the country thinks he's a hero i i wonder did you see matt gates offered him a job no i don't know much whatever happened with him being a pedo or like pedo accusations thing slowly unfolding dude last i heard they were hiring attorneys who specialized in like child trafficking or something like that.

It sucks how these things take like four years to play out. Why are there attorneys who specialize in that? He's working with a lot of politicians. That's why he solely works with Congress people. But yeah, Matt Gaetz offered him. It's funny. We don't know anything about Kyle Rittenhouse's politics, right? I mean, you're just going to assume he's even a Republican?

No, I would say he's definitely I would assume he's a mega Republican guy. It's funny, we were talking about the car crash thing. The guy who ran down all those people in the parade?

What is his name? I don't remember his name. Yeah, and there are so many desperate blue checks I've seen on Twitter being like, there's nothing to indicate that he's not a MAGA person. He's a, what are you saying? He likes BLM. And it's like, yeah, look at a lot of his posts. I saw something wild, and I'll have to confirm and it's like, yeah, like look at a lot of his posts. He, I saw something wild and you don't have to confirm if it's real,

but like, uh, it was like a black nationalist post and it was like one of those like fake quotes with Hitler on it. And Hitler is on this thing and it's a long paragraph and it's about this fictitious monologue of Hitler being like the true Jews are the blacks that were stolen from Africa and America. And these white Jews are trying to pretend were stolen from africa and america and these white jews are

trying to pretend to be god's chosen and they are dangerous because they are not the true hebrews and israelites and it's like i am not a historian but hitler did not say that there's no wouldn't he have been furious at at black americans if that was like probably. I looked into the dude, the Waukesha Christmas parade attack guy. Apparently, he had just left a domestic dispute, was having a

really bad day, was kind of insane and willing to run people over with his car. There's no politics angle at this thing. Well, nobody said he had a bad day. I mean, shit. We've all been there. Yeah. How many people died? Five so far.

Oh, come on. Can you imagine if a white guy drove intentionally through 50 black people in a parade? Hang on, Taylor. We haven't heard how his day was going. We haven't heard how his day is going. Taylor, be open-minded on this come on oh yeah it's just it's funny when like it doesn't go against the narrative it's like

there's no way to know anything uh we we don't know what his motivation we don't even know what he believes it's all in the ether and then it's like oh this other guy yeah he's a he's a white nationalist he's a nazi oh you're talking about written house now yeah i was saying like the comparison and narratives and how there's just this anti-BLM riot. So... No, he was pro-BLM? Yeah, well, he was there to stop the BLM people from misbehaving, right? He said he was

pro-BLM. He did. Did he? He was pro-BLM. Oh, I hadn't heard that. Yeah, that's why he only shoots whites. You're making a lot of sense. Yeah, he's like, you guys guys been reading me wrong the whole time like tear this shit down and i got them because they weren't going hard enough

they were traitors to the cause burn down the police station they're fucking around with corollas you know how long i've been undercover uh yeah i shit i don't know rittenhouse is innocent i think he deserves to be uh this guy non-political it seems just total asshole in the parade running over um yeah i don't know i mean he had some posts about posts apparently on his social media about like hitting or harming white people really yeah like in like there were articles out like all of this is archived like and i saw some posts like a green text that was making me laugh where it was like five hours after this happens you know cnn and fox we don't know anything about this person it could be anything 4chanchan, three minutes afterward.

Here's his name. Here's his criminal record. Here's his address. Here's a prior conviction he has. Here's where he got the gun. Here's what his cat had for breakfast. It's like, okay, these fucking autists on the internet can figure all this stuff out on Twitter and 4chan and shit. This guy has posts about hating white people and then he ran over a bunch of them in a parade.

That's not a good look, bro. And who knows? Maybe all that comes out as fake. And I've been bamboozled, which I've been bamboozled before. If you can't trust 4chan, who can you trust? Yeah. If you can't trust those people, who can you really trust? The mainstream media.

It's very interesting times we live in always always and especially with hockey season going which is what i've been focusing on almost entirely dude i looked a few days ago hurricane still the best team in all of hockey yeah some say the best team to have ever played hockey they've only lost three games this year they're 14 name another team that only lost three games this year. They're 14-2-1. Name another team that only lost three games in this season. You can't do it. That's true. It's never happened over the course of the whole season. They're the best ones ever. I know I'm exaggerating, but

we're about a quarter way through the season. Is that fair? Are we about a quarter in? They're the best team in hockey with a quarter of it done. Look where else would you rather be? I was reading something with a quarter of it done. Look where else would you rather be? For sure. I mean, I was reading something that if Carolina finishes at this pace,

they'll have the best record in the history of the NHL. They'll have the best point total, which is dangerous because Tampa Bay did that a couple years ago and got swept by an eighth seed in the first round. And then in the same year, the Arizona Coyotes are on pace to have the worst season in nhl history they've won four games they're on a two-game win streak until three days ago they were 2 13 and 2 they four points pretty pretty fucking shit but it's i love when this kind of

stuff happens whether it's the best or the worst just new ground being broken and obviously it's unlikely that either of those two teams will continue on that trajectory but funny enough i watched uh a hurricanes game last night they played um they played the sharks and i was watching because i was like i've only watched like one hurricanes game this whole season i'm excited like i want to see how dominant they are and like of course the game i pick they get beat two to one by the fucking Sharks. And it's like, well, damn it, this wasn't the high flying offense I was hoping for. It was. It was one of those games also, Woody, you know, because you watch hockey,

where you're like, oh, like they were sniffing the goal all the time. It was just bounces and luck and, you know, some great goals. Don't you hate that when your team gets like 38 shots on goal and they have one goal? That's the worst because then you know their goalie is like feeling so hot and it's even tougher to beat him now because he's like so high on himself and riding the momentum oh kyle i want to get you into hockey no thanks but what about the the black feet i mean i i saw that thing in my closet the other day i was like ho ho ho i hope they're doing well.

And then I realized, like, I'm pretty sure it's the offseason. But then I don't know. We were just talking about it. The hockey season's going. No idea. I kind of like the Blackfeet, and I think I'm going to stick with them because of the rape. Oh, more is coming out about that story. Because of the rape?

Oh, more is coming out about that story. Like now Kyle Beach, the guy, John Doe, is like apparently with his attorney in talks with the Blackhawks organization about career long recompense, you know, fiduciary recompense for all of his lost wages. And so like and also because this is such a huge story. The NHL can't possibly like if Chicago said we'll pay you one million a year for the next 10 years, that would be the absolute worst PR. Like it would damage the brand more than anything. So I think they're going to give him boatloads of cash and be like, you were a first round pick. You had all the makings of a great NHL. Wow. That's a 60 million dollar career you could have had, you know, and they can make a case for that.

I don't think you'll get like 60, but he should. I hope they pay through the nose for this guy. I, I originally, I was, I would totally suck a few dicks for $60 million. Is that what he had to do?

No, uh, he, he just got like, uh, physically and mentally abused by, by some coaches. And then like hidden away in the minor leagues making him think

his career was never going to go anywhere like putting yourself in his shoes i do that on twitch for 300 depressing but like think about it like you're you're the best at whatever sport you want you get to a high level now you're chosen like in the top 11 in the nhl in the nfl whatever it is and then you're like hidden and there's articles written about you all the time from chicago media the biggest bust in blackhawks history and like your confidence is ruined he's had he has to play and he plays in germany now like i'm sure his talent fell off so much from his like the problems he did how old is he now uh i think he's 30 yeah he's not breaking into the hl no he's not going 31 yeah he's not gonna he's not about to break in

but he could have and he would have and so i i hope they pay through the nose you know it's rare that a first round draft pick just doesn't see the nhl i wonder how often like there's a player who should have been the nhl who's not right like with track field, there is no under the radar guy beating these top guys. Like that's not a thing at all in basketball. People say could be, you know, like, Oh,

this guy in Harlem is just so good. He's as good as an, any NBA player maybe, or at least at certain things. And, you know, so I wonder if that happens in hockey much like if there are many players who just don't get the chance they should have i don't know like the

the difference in just watching a beer league like where there's a fourth liner who played 37 games in the nhl like that guy just decides when he's going to score. He may have zero goals, zero assists, 100 games played. Worst player statistically in NHL history. That guy's dangling. He's breaking people's ankles. He's so much better than everyone. Just speed alone, I don't even know. Other professional leagues, someone will come from the KHL sometimes

and just do tremendously well in the NHL. But those are only the russians who initially don't come to the nhl because they don't want to learn english it happens in fighting all the time it always seems like there's some guy from wherever borat was from like kakistan or something yeah and cock it's not cack anyway uh there's some guy from whatever, unspecified-istan, who's an amazing wrestler. He's Muslim. And it turns out he could beat anyone in his weight class at the UFC.

And they just, like, there's an undefeated guy now, Kazmat or something. Nobody wants to fight him. Oh, Kamzat Shumayev or something? Yeah. Colby Covington calls him Kumshot. Yeah, it's a whole mouthful of nonsense. And nobody knows what his value is because he's like starched.

Everybody's fought, but who are they? You know, and it just, it, it, you can't find his level. It's really tough. All the guys who like what they say have a number next to the name who are

actually ranked. Don't want to fight this guy. They all turn it down. Yeah. So he just fights whoever he can get starches him. It's hard to find 10 seconds where this guy isn't winning. And it seems like there's a bunch of guys like that, that exist in these weird Sambo leagues who don't get their chance.

And I think that happens in hockey so much. It certainly doesn't happening in the clock based sports. Yeah. And I think part of that has to do with UFC still globally getting more popular, like all the mixed martial arts. So eventually it will get to a point where I think it will be more similar to these other sports. Where there's no guy in Sweden who would dominate if the Red Wings would just give him a shot. But there's still that guy in UFC. Fighting is interesting.

So prior to like, whatever, 1995, whenever it started, I forget. We thought the toughest people on Earth were like acrobats that yelled a lot while fighting. Bouncing around, kicking you in the head while doing triple flips. Drunken fighting style there's no counter to it what are you gonna do like we thought those are the toughest guys on earth it turns out that the toughest guys on earth were wrestlers from the midwest these mark kers mad hughes like these guys were the baddest motherfuckers around and then time passes some more and it turns out that you can learn to defend that pretty quickly.

And the strikers are the toughest guys on earth. And now it turns out there are these guys with indomitable wills in Kyrgyzstan or something that they're the toughest guys on earth. And I'm surprised that whatever it is, 30 years later, we're still kind of figuring out what makes the best fighter i thought it was boxers i thought boxers were going to beat everyone that would have been my guess prior to the ufc that the american boxer is the best fighter around turns out

like regular brazilian jiu-jitsu guys who give up 75 pounds of muscle can beat them. I always thought it was someone who could kick the kick. Just seems so much better than the punch. It seemed like if you could kick and they couldn't kick, that's all that would matter. I see the logic. Uh,

but yeah, I don't know. I, I still like the UFC cause we're still figuring out what makes a great fighter. Like we're still doing it. Yeah. I I'm,

I'm hoping that at some point it we go back to the bouncing around while screaming thing i hope it comes full circle time pettis jumping off the side of the cage i'd love that i'd love that if there were a guy who just did it like adesanya is as close as we're gonna get there. There's another guy. I forget his name. He has a really good body and he gets tired after a round and a half. He's always jumping around doing flip kicks and other nonsense.

There's a few guys that are crazy. Yair's like that. Yair's really entertaining to watch. He spent all that time off and then came back and I bet he's fucked up after that Max Holloway fight. I'm looking forward to all uh to to uh i don't know all the fights i always am what's uh what's what's upcoming obviously is it gaethje is that the next thing michael poirier is the one i'm thinking of something close to that uh so jake paul fights december

18th i know you said ufc but i always find him interesting i don't dude jake paul has very cleverly picked his opponents right when he first he fights the nba guy professional athlete but you know he wins he knocks him out and i'm trying then he fought ben askren right and ben askren's a real fighter not a boxer which is what he's doing but he's a real fighter, not a boxer, which is what he's doing, but he's a real fighter. And he beats Ben Askren soundly. Then Tyrone Woodley. I nearly bet $10,000 on Tyrone Woodley. Oh, that would have sucked.

Not only was he the underdog, but he's like a legit UFC champion. I'm like, no way he beats Tyrone Woodley, but he beats Tyrone Woodley. but he beats Tyrone Woodley. Now he's going after, is it Tommy Fury? Do you know who his next opponent is? I don't know who his next opponent is. Um,

but it's like an actual professional boxer. And that seems foolish, right? Like the gimmicks are gone. Now he's going up against a guy who really specializes in throwing. Does he just want to be a professional boxer now? Because that's foolish. Tommy Fury.

By the way, what a great name. Tommy Fury. Is he the heavyweights guy's son? I think he might be. Is it Tyson Fury's son? That's the question. I'm checking it out now.

I'm not sure. I'm not finding it quickly enough. Yeah, his half-brother is Tyson Fury. Okay. Anyway, but this guy's like a real genuine boxer. And he's very excited. He's like, Tommy Fury had this rant recently. It was like a minute and a half long, and he's like, this is an easy fight for me.

You have made a huge mistake. You did a great job in selecting your opponents. I'm an actual professional boxer, and I'm going to pop your head off. He just went on and on and on, and he sold me on it. Tommy Fury is going but every time you bet against Jake Paul you lose. I was going to ask is this the time where if Jake Paul beats

this guy is he legit? McGregor did that to me. I thought McGregor was mostly hype until he beat Dustin Poirier the first time. Then I was like I was wrong. At a certain point you got to just be like alright alright, I guess you're real fucking good at this thing that

they've been saying you're real good at for a while now and I was just the only one who was just too fucking stupid. God damn it. Yes. I do that sometimes. Yeah, I do that too. Doing it to Jake Paul and we'll see. I mean, Jake Paul's a legit tough guy. I don't want to fight Jake Paul.

Oh, fuck no. Jake Paul, if you see me, don't tough guy. I don't want to fight Jake Paul. Oh, fuck no. Jake Paul, if you see me, don't hit me. I don't need that. He's no Diego Sanchez. You can't kick this guy over. You mess with Jake Paul, you're going to catch hands. You're not going to bend over and ask for it. Yeah, like that other guy.

Like a Diego Sanchez type character might do. But yeah, so I'm looking forward to his fight. I don't know if Gaethje even got the fight you were talking about. One guy gets to fight

Cowboy, that Olivier guy. And it's either Gaethje or is it Cumshot I'm thinking of? There's another guy that might go right to the title fight, and we'll see who it is. But I feel like it hasn't been announced. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. All right. Let's do a – Oh, we've got a bunch of those AMA questions, those awful AMA questions. I was just thinking that. If you were to have an orgy with every major character

of a movie, which do you pick? The Crow of the Rings. They're all guys. All dudes. The Craft. That's the one where all the high school girls are in a little witch coven together. I was going with Descent was the first one

that popped into my head. That's a good pick. I don't know. Do you have to fuck those monsters too though? How about Harry Potter? You're like, nah. Harry Potter but only the first one. I actually saw that question before we started

the show and my mind immediately went, little rascals. I don't know, Sandlot? Get the dog involved. That was a good one. Okay, that was a good one. I like that one. That left some open. Yeah, the sifter, a lot of cat shit to get the

anything in that box, though. If you could choose one conspiracy theory to be true, what would you choose and why? The Holocaust. Why? Why? Because it's funny to say. Conspiracy theory to be true.

That's a good one. I'm gonna think Seeing everybody have to be wrong About the moon at the same time Would be pretty wild Or really Everyone would be wrong on flat earth If you want to pick one Where 100% of people and their assumption is wrong

But no that's Even in silly time, that's unbelievable. Yeah, the moon. It would come out that the moon landing was fake, that Stanley Kubrick did it, and that all the whistleblowers had been silenced. Yeah. That'd be an interesting one. That is the thing, right? They say Stanley Kubrick?

Yeah. That's one of the theories. Well, he was the best director at the time so who else would you get he was and if you watch 2001 a space odyssey that moon scene looks pretty legit yeah moon would be good um oh yeah i i stopped playing after my guess i'm done i won that's a victory I stopped playing after my guess. I won. That's a victory. That's a victory. Tally in the W column for you.

The Denver airport one? That the Denver International Airport stands above an underground city that serves as the headquarters of the New World Order? That'd be wild. I was there the other day. I told the guys, I was like, make sure you look look at the fucking weird ass horse on the way back because it's

it's the way into the airport i'm pretty sure not the way you were at the denver airport the other day yeah last month right yeah oh yeah yeah when you went to denver right right right yeah that makes sense yeah it is it is like i was wasn't i like how high't I? I was thinking of your driving trip. I'm like, I don't know why. Yeah, there's a bunch of weird stuff at the Denver airport. Like occult stuff. And I remember when I did the conspiracy theory on it years ago, some of it just genuinely didn't make sense.

Like, why would you put a mural of children screaming while while you know like neo-soviets have guns and scimitars or something like this isn't what you should see at baggage claim it should have a picture of the mountains or like an advertising for skiing yeah it's weird shit i like that airports don't seem to have been commercialized when i really think about it like like there's not like bullshit everywhere inside the airport they just sell their own shit right i mean you got the sky mall and you got some stores in there it. There's not bullshit everywhere inside the airport. They just sell their own shit, right? I mean, you got the SkyMall, and you got some stores in there, but everything's not plastered with ads or anything,

now that I think about it. I think it depends on the airport. Yeah, I only fly Delta. Maybe I don't know shit. Yeah, I've only ever flown Delta, I think. Your whole life? Yeah, I think maybe I caught one American Airlines one time, but that's amongst like 40 Delta flights I think. Your whole life? Yeah, I think maybe I caught one American Airlines one time, but that's amongst 40

Delta flights or something. I've had horrible experiences with American, and I've flown them a handful of times. I usually do Southwest or Delta. Delta is my favorite. I love Delta. I like everything about Delta. Kitty's got a peanut allergy. Delta doesn't do peanuts, so

that's step one for why we do it, but also they've got they got good reward program atlanta's their fucking hub half of the atlanta airport is delta it's like it's like you're either north terminal or south terminal if you're in north terminal you're from you're at an airline if you're in south terminal you're at delta like everything else is north if you fly delta from atlanta you can probably find a non-stop flight there yeah absolutely always almost always that's good that's not true in raleigh in raleigh everything is like first you hit charlotte first you hit dallas fort worth and then you get somewhere else it's everything has a stop well almost so the raleigh airport broke the other day apparently it rained and all the computers went down and all the flights stopped all the lines

backed up this won't mean anything to people but it was like out of the building into like where you drop people off the lines were up just uh it was crazy the computers went down for rain yes well they canceled all the flights oh flooding okay yeah the computers literally got water damage i think did you see what happened at the atlanta airport it was the atlanta airport where the gun went off right yeah yeah did that guy get away so the the guy had a gun in like security and then as instead of being like oh i can't believe i left it there he grabs the gun accidentally fires it he's running for it and gets away yeah get away

he had a gun what were they gonna do as far as i can tell he just accidentally fired the gun to be like oh should it's in there he gets it and he runs they don't know who he was i i guess his bag didn't have any identifying stuff but do you have to get through the the scanner guy he wasn't like through it yet oh i guess i don't know i don't know i'm not sure but he got the gun and he ran away and he exited the airport grounds and last i I heard, they were trying to ID him. Now there's cameras everywhere. How could they not ID him?

But does anyone have an update to that? Yeah, I don't. I have never heard that story. That is wild. He just brandished a gun and then ran away after firing it. It's wild. The whole thing is wild. So the TSA wasn't there to

tackle him to the ground no not even a little bit i don't blame them they probably don't make enough to tackle someone to the ground with a loaded gun no one does no one does least found the gun i guess he ditched it um probably at the airport checks there's a paywall on this. He was a felon. Ah, okay. Oh, no. Not one of my people. I feel like with an airport, they could find someone pretty easily.

Is the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport the big one, the one you would go to? Yeah, that's the one. That's the one, okay. It was an accidental discharge shit i want more oh they identified him kenny wells 42 years old my man kenny my man kenny so i guess isn't that Wings brother? All them pills

that Kenny been banging? Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, that's funny. Well, if they haven't caught him by now, they're not going to catch him. They got his name. They're going to get him. They got his name. If they don't have him already, he's toast.

Well, shit, I'm not getting any more details than I already gave. He's in a lot of trouble. I think possession of a firearm by a felon is like... And firing it in an airport? It's like five years, maybe ten years. It's like five, though, I think, for sure. It's not good. But then

the whole having it in the airport and having it go off. I mean, if he wasn't. You're allowed to have it. You're allowed to have it. It's the felon thing. That's what I was about to say. I think he'd be all A-OK.

I think like if Taylor did this, he's probably 100% OK. Like maybe you pay a fine for like reckless. I don't know. In 2014, Georgia passed a law that allowed concealed weapons at airports and areas outside screening checkpoint so prior to passing through security you're allowed to carry your concealed carry in georgia correct yeah um but the i wouldn't do it it's gonna be a problem yeah well eventually you're going to pass security. You're going to throw your gun away?

I have a really expensive gun. So you're like, yeah, you don't want to do that. Yeah, and there's like, I've said this before. This was years and years ago. I went through for a work trip and I just had like a backpack. I had my laptop and a few things in, just a day trip. And I got through and I forgot I'd taken that backpack hunting like months and months prior. And so I had two magazines for a handgun with not a gun in there just the magazines and like when

they went through they pulled me aside and they're like hey you can't have this stuff and like in my head I'm like oh I'm in like the most trouble I broke the rules around the airport with with sure there's no gun here it's just two mags full of nine millimeter ammo and i'm like oh okay well what do i do and she's like you're gonna want to get back in line and just throw both of these into the garbage and i'm like do you know how much it costs ma'am yeah i'll drive your hollow i asked i was like is there a guy or a can i leave these here and get them when i come back i don't want to lose these and And she's like, no, you just have to go back.

And then I'm like, as I was walking back, I'm like, so just like in the same one that guy just threw his fucking orange Julius in. Okay. This is how we're disposing of this according to the TSA. I used to carry a knife through security so much

that I thought you pretty much could. It's a Leatherman. I carry a Le leatherman or a multi-tool on me almost all the time hardly ever without one and i would just put it in my backpack and have the backpack pass through security and i must have got through like 12 times in a row and then when they finally took it it was like you're giving me shit about okay you know you could have it i'd even consider that trying to get a knife through airport security could get me in trouble it was more like if you're gonna be a dick about it just keep it and that's not what i said i was more respectful but that was my thought and then i got caught like i don't know more often like two times out of three and

i'm like well at this point i'm just giving away two with any Leathermans. I'm not going to do it anymore. I got a new one. Ooh. Yes. I don't know if this is interesting to people, but I found this small one by Gerber. Zach, can you full screen me? It has a bit driver that I use all the time.

You can flip it and make it square head. It has an itty bitty all thing, i almost never use but it has it let me get it out and this thing yeah i don't know to people it's for like poking leather and stuff i never need to make small holes i guess you could open boxes with it but i'm not really into it it has scissors which are big to me. I really like having scissors. Second, I'm working on it. Yeah, scissors are a handy one on there. Scissors are super handy. And I like that these scissors,

they have like a little spring in them. So they like open on their own. Sometimes in tools in this class, like it doesn't have this spring that opens it. So you have to like almost pull it apart again and that kind of sucks and uh of course it has the knife and i like that the knife is like one hand opening that you can open with but the whole thing is super tiny so i don't know i'm gonna carry this for a little bit i i like my little multi-tools yeah i like it too oh and then

this side's a hammer which obviously you're not driving nails with it or anything. Well, everything's a hammer. Tent stakes and little shit like that you can hit with this end, which is meant to be pounded on. So that's kind of cool. Yeah, it is neat. Anyway. A little bottle opener there.

Yeah. On your hammer for camping, I'm sure. So it's pretty small. I got another. Hold on. I have one more. i don't have any leathermans or no i bet i do downstairs in my toolbox i don't know do you kyle this will just be a second um no i don't have any uh any of that stuff my dad always carried a leatherman he uh he had like the big one i don't know probably the biggest one the thing that like flips open and does all the nonsense.

But I never carried one. I just have a bag of tools. What I normally carry is a flashlight and a Leatherman. They kind of go next to each other and this is the space they take in your pocket. This is the form factor. This one is different. It's long and it's thin.

It doesn't do as much shit, but it has a knife that opens like this. So it's actually a fixed blade knife. It's not foldable. It locks in. The knife comes like this deep into it. And to some people, having it fixed blade is worth a little more. It can't bend and close on your fingers or anything like that. Cool.

It has another little thing here it's a flat head but the ends are tapered so it kind of fits in a phillips head too model opener if that's cool to you and then this side is a flashlight oh my god is that as good as the independent flashlight no it's not um in some ways it's better some people value having a triple a battery because they sell them at like every gas station everywhere at any time whereas my other one is a rechargeable like usb cord that you need to have with a little magnet like you if you don't bring the charger you're kind of fucked whereas this one you can always you know buy a new battery but uh i don't know I'm into my little knives.

I wasn't sure if other people would find that interesting. No, I like that stuff. I like gadgets in general. That's why I've got my spork in there. The ultimate gadget. Oh, I was going to tell you what it is. I was on one of those MRE websites, and they make special sporks and spoons that are extra long for going down in those pouches.

Are they $30? Oh, he's got him one. Like he went, he's got himself a fancy spoon. Look at this. Oh yeah. You guys both have fancy sporks.

I bet he's got something out of the unique here. He carved his from, from a piece of birch. Is it in here? It's like when, when Homer got that limb that had been hit by lightning and made the bat. So it stores tiny.

Oh my god. But. Quick little assembly process. Yeah, we'll screw each end together. And I have. Screw the ends together. Oh my!

Can you tell how long this is? It looks a sizable spoon. It looks two feet long. It's very long. And you can go into the MRE pouch and not get it all over your fingers and knuckles. Are there like tangs on that?

It looks just like a spoon. It's a spoon. But that's what you need for your pad Thai rehydrated bullshit meal you're eating that only tastes good because you're at a campfire. But this is a long thing and you can keep your knuckles and fingers clean while you dig it out of the pouch. Never tried an MRE. I imagine they're very salty. So he called it an MRE, but i'm actually talking about like a dehydrated okay uh basically you add water to pad thai and it turns into something resembling pad thai resembling uh whatever some sort of rice and meat yeah i had i ate an mre the other day for

dinner i was um i had waited too long and I had waited too long I didn't have any groceries and I waited too long to order food but you're near Atlanta don't you have nearly 24 hour services I don't want to drive I'm high as fuck there isn't 24 hour delivery like Postmates no not 24 hours they close eventually

yeah they close when the stores do but I had my cheese tortellini mre and i broke that bad boy out and it was awful it was all cheese toward how could you ruin cheese tortellini the cheese tortellini was actually the best part the rest of it was like it was like a bag of peanuts freeze dry and like not freeze dry vacuum sealed peanuts and i was like oh let's see what the other snack is and it was trail mix but the trail mix was nothing but peanuts so i just had not look at now we're in my wheelhouse that's not for a trail mix there was there was peanuts like three cashews and um these little pretzel

balls like they were like they were like a pretzel but they were like the size of a skittle or something and that was it pointed us army there was that there was there was mre crackers and there was the peanut butter and chocolate spread which meant that there were three items with peanuts in there like it was a peanut bag it was a peanut bag it is all it was and is that the only one you had the only one well i got a whole bunch of mres like at a location, but I got my MREs here. I just had the one. In your bug out shack in the middle of the woods. Wherever my MREs are, it doesn't matter.

They are where they are. But especially not there. That was a bit of a prepper. I wouldn't talk about that sort of thing ever. That's how you can tell the real preppers from the fake ones because the real ones never talk about prepping. And the fake ones always

talk about prepping. Well, it's just some people see it as a hobby and some people see it as a contingency. Yeah, but the ones who are taking it seriously were like, there's going to be an EMP. They're like, son, did you mention all of this at school? We're pulling you out we're going like the serious ones aren't going on that show i would say yeah you wouldn't think so you wouldn't think

so especially the ones who have like stuff to lose like like it's one thing if you're like already kind of you're just an average guy and you're just looking for enough like rice and beans to keep you alive in some weird scenario. But if you're already a millionaire who's enjoying his lifestyle or a hundred millionaire or whatever, those guys' plans are always extreme. Yeah, and those ones are the coolest because they set up prepping in a way where it's like, I'm not prepping to survive. I'm prepping to not lose a step in my quality of life. I need my live-in servants and all this shit. I bet Bezos and Musk, all those guys have,

have contingency plans at the bottom of the, maybe, maybe underneath the Denver airport, if Woody's assumption is correct. We don't know. If I had like Musk money, I might not want to live in the next thing. Like you can only go down from here. It would suck.

I don't know. When I see people who kill themselves because of a zombie outbreak, they might have the right idea. There's not a lot of joy coming your way. Well, I guess it depends on the kind of zombies. If it's the kind of zombie that's airborne

and when you die, you come back as a zombie, very selfish to kill yourself without a guillotine. But if it's like you have to be bit, I could see that, definitely. Just checking out. I've been to the temple and most of the lore I see that. Yeah, that's a good one too.

I figured the people killing themselves would be the ones without guns in this scenario. Just killing yourself before someone gets to you. Steals your fucking rice cakes. Not your rice cakes cakes not my flavorless styrofoam you can have them rice cakes are bullshit they're awful shit as a diet i was raised with the idea that rice cakes were like zero calories you think 10 right you think 10

it's not a low calorie rice cake is like 60 you could have a bagel almost like get it the fuck over with and have a real food they're fucking horrible and you put peanut butter on a rice cake or something and you think you're having a low cal treat no this is a calorie dense bullshit making fat meal it turns out we all know that rice makes you fat, but we thought rice cakes were somehow not part of that rule. It was like poofed rice or something. They poofed out all the bad part and just left us with this. All the calories and just leave the air. Rice cakes are not the ticket, boys.

The lowest calorie rice cake I ever had was years ago when I was trying to lose weight. There were 35 calories, low and like were they super thin they were maybe that thin so not not they were pretty sizable but you know immediately when you bite in like it's like a almost like a loaf of sourdough there were hollow areas in the cake like which i didn't think was possible in a rice cake yeah it sucks all the moisture out of your mouth it takes you forever to eat it and you're hating it the whole time it i bought low calorie rice cakes i bought them on amazon so i didn't like see him and you know you can maybe not get that perspective yeah like oh low calorie rice cakes you know you know for 30 calories like

it's it's better than nothing maybe it's uh maybe it'll hold you over and help you get to your next meal dude a 30 calorie rice cake was like half a centimeter thick it was like two rice tall but like this bullshit you didn't have any special trick you just gave me smaller servings a rice cake is a great way to miss food like it's a great way to remind yourself i remember eating yeah it was way better than this like right now i've got uh i've got a uh a filet mignon and a baked potato out there like getting ready to go the baked potato's been in the oven damn at the i got the the filet's about to go on the grill i got the grill like 700 fucking degrees out there i'm very excited i have not eaten today so is this breakfast for you yeah yeah breakfast no it's breakfast

well i get i skipped breakfast technically because i woke up at 5 p.m so it's six hours later so this is like noon for me so like this is like 11 p.m for me so it's like uh it's almost time for lunch so i'm gonna fix i skipped breakfast i'm gonna fix uh lunch here in a minute um for dinner i think i'm just gonna go back to the ven venison. Going to have some venison patties, some rice, some teriyaki sauce on there. It's going to be great. I'm hungry. I think I'm going fruit mix, though. Fruit mix and then just sleep.

I still have a whole dinner to eat. You guys want to call it a show? We can all go. I'd love to. Okay. All right. PK-571. I'm going to buy our juice pills.

Yeah, check out the Christmas merch. There'll be a link in the description. The jizz pills. For the long tail, maybe. They're out of stock right now. Get them both.