Painkiller Already - PKA 572 W/Harley: Kyle vs Diego Sanchez, How To Shower, Harley is boxing

Episode Date: December 4, 2021

pka 572 with our guest harley taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lucy and feels cbd also these wonderful sweaters we're wearing pretty high quality i i was excited like anytime we've done merch ever when it arrives i'm always anxious because like if i grab it and i'm like this is going to get destroyed in the wash and i'm going to look like an asshole for telling people to buy this i was so relieved when i opened this and it's like it's really stitched it's really knit this is gonna last a long time i can look like an idiot for years to come i bought a christmas sweater a year or two ago and it looked good on the internet it looked pretty cool i forget what the print was i wore it on one of the shows in real life it sucked it fucking sucked it wasn't even knit it was like

printed it wasn't even a sweater. It's not sugar. It's Splenda. It was Splenda. A rip-off shitty version. This stuff. Mine showed up smelling like pussy. I am proud to sell it. I didn't have anything to do with putting it together but I'm proud to stamp PKA.

And you guys didn't even get a hat. I got a hat. I don't know where my hat is. Did you get the scarf? I'm going to stand PK. And you guys didn't even get a hat. I got a hat. I don't know where my hat is. Did you get the scarf? Yes, and I did get the scarf. I'm going to be real with you. The hat is all I wanted.

Because I was like, sometimes when I'm on my way to the gym at like 2, 3 in the morning, it's fucking cold. It's like 32 degrees, and I'm sure it's only getting colder. Are you still going to the gym at 2, 3 in the morning? Yeah. You did it already, bro. Why are you so mad, 3 in the morning? Yeah. You did it already, bro. Why are you so mad? He's got to double down.

You did it already. You reached maximum. We're achieving higher levels, I promise you. We're blasting off this year. I'm scared. It's ugly sweaters this year, but next year it's the PKA naked calendar where the cocks are strategically hidden by I gotta tell you

I'm not scared man my diet is on fucking point right now my lifting schedule is never miss a day or if I do it's like oh I'm not doing legs today but I'm riding motocross for 14 fucking hours today

I'm gonna give you your first first theme for one of your photos. One of your photos is in the fall. Lumberjack. Lumberjack. Picture this. Picture this, right? Car heart, like the khaki style car hearts. Tight.

Tight. Belt. Very tight. No shirt. No shirt. No pants either. There's no shirts in this calendar, Kyle. The axe is kind of loosely thrown over your shoulder.

Maybe you got a towel wiping some sweat away, and you're just glistening in the forest i i want you know what that's fucking october you gotta do you gotta book i was excited me buck naked with a motorcycle in front of me yes yo but i gotta be honest you gotta go with the theme like i i think i found out what a tribute was on this podcast. You learned that from us? We've all been tributed. You have to have your own nut on your own belly in every single picture. That's going to be a stinky stance. I look like a fucking blaze donut.

But yeah, a lock and load promotion. First of all, you guys are all wearing PKA sweaters. I don't know why I didn't get one. I guess you don't make them in XXXL Jewish maybe. You did one with dreidels on it is that a huge sweater at an enormous discount and also uh you also sold that on your cum pills i can't believe i didn't get a sample uh don't worry this morning i would have done it all over an epic meal 100 bro we're gonna get you uh we're gonna get you some cum pills in a sweater yeah i would

like those let me start let me get myself a goal let me get sneaky september september six pack on that calendar i'll put my own nut in my own in my own belly button no yeah i want to be on woody's motorcycle though covered in cum oh i want to be like on a gamer chair with a banquet meal and i want to use the motorcycle after harley's photo shoot and risk pregnancy. Oh, that's it. That's extra risky. You get pregnant in your ass. That's how Jews are born.

You know, a man in my personal position is a bit concerned today because from what I understand, Roe versus Wade is on the verge of being overturned as we speak. Yeah. Yeah. So there I guess the background is Mississippi has a law that they passed. And now the way that America works is if a state law violates a federal law or precedent, then that state law can't stand.

So they took it to court. And it appears that those conservative judges that got in in the last four years, all anti-abortion, they're going to rule against it. And this is kind of tea leaf reading type stuff. You know, you kind of listen to the questions they ask both sides and infer the way that they might come down. And that's where it stands right now.

Who are the ones that would, do they have enough to win against Roe v. Wade? If you were to guess, predict, they would win 6-3. Not only do they have enough, they have a vote to spare. It ain't close. I went out today and I bought $80,000 worth of abortion

pills. Don't worry, guys. I've got enough to get me at least to the summer. You better hope those don't expire. He owns all the cum and all the abortion i mean he is the creator and the destroyer there is a little more to know beginning and the end i'm sorry the topic is funny but i if i were listening i'd want know this. The law that they're talking about is 15 weeks. So that's a lot longer than the Texas law. The Texas law, if I recall correctly, was six weeks. And six weeks is not as long as it sounds.

First of all, it starts from the woman's period. So the first two weeks, she hasn't even been fucked yet. How is that pregnant? But okay. So at six weeks, she's really only had like what would that be she at two weeks she might guess that she's not pregnant because she's late and then she has two weeks to do something about it yeah and oftentimes the the wait times to get the procedure done are two weeks and you're just fucked like it yeah it kind of became impossible well so this one's 15

weeks which isn't just two and a half times longer but when you consider there was really like four versus 13 it's like triple the length so i've never needed more than two weeks personally to get my abortions handled i'm wondering though if they if or if this thing goes the the way that we're thinking it might would that completely overturn roe versus wade or does it just and forgive, I'm very ignorant about this. I remember that cartoon about how a bill is made and that's, but, but would it,

would the two week thing apply or the, what would you say? Six weeks or whatever the fuck. I think what I think I understand the question, right? Like how is this really going to no more abortion or now it's no what would happen is at the federal level abortion would be legal and then state by state they would make their decisions one might guess a state well actually georgia's hard to predict because it's a little purple now

but uh a state like alabama or mississippi which is really red you would probably expect to have really restrictive abortion laws yeah and uh in the blue states you would probably expect to have really restrictive abortion laws yeah and uh in the blue states you would probably expect it to continue to be legal yeah okay um i don't give a shit then they should do that they should make it so that the state law is this is what we should do for the country i thought of this just now so it's flawless yeah all the states are allowed states can have any laws they want but you can still but all the travel unrestricted you can go to any other state and so you just get a bunch of wild micro nations all over the country and you could just decide where you wanted to go like if florida had a

bunch of dope laws you'd move there if it was fucking illinois you'd go that well probably not illinois because they're not pretty they're not chill with guns and i'd i'd like to i don't i'm not a big gun guy but if i ever get a wild hair up my ass like getting into archery i want to know i can go buy a huge gun and have fun with it we need like a local senegal you know yeah yeah or like a no uh somalia like an anarchy state somalia would work yeah i would like somewhere that's right i would like somewhere where they were like real big fans of us inexplicably and that gave us an ungodly amount of power i want a badge i want a badge i would love the power i would love if you had a badge i would like a badge or at least all right stick with me in lieu of a badge maybe one of those six sashes like wharf

had in star trek like like no that's too much now you're getting crazy i want like a north korean war hero jacket with all the medals that they're like they have to add another like panel to their suit that sounds at least like a calendar shoot picture right there jingles the north korean war uniform have you ever seen you know what he's not on your belly do you know he's referencing? Have you seen it? Like, like the North Korean generals who literally have never fought a war because they haven't fought since the Korean conflict.

They're, they're, they're fucking spackled with medals. Like, like, I mean more than you've ever seen. Like so many, like so many medals.

It looks like a Leslie Nielsen movie. Like they're making a joke out of how many medals. And you're talking about design those medals who designed them and who got them, who brought them and who got them in them or is it like bring your own medals to work forever yeah it's like office space

that's like when you're browsing your halo medals after these guys are all 10th prestige all 10th prestige is every cod every cod. Every cod. Not one of them has seen battle. Not one of them has ever been engaged in any kind of warfare. All these guys were not born or absolute babies the last time there was a war.

Can I tell you? It also looks like there's a wardrobe of jackets and they all just go to work and grab the jackets there and leave the jackets there. Like it's not their uniform. It looks like it's all one size fits all. That second to the back one, the jacket does not fit at all. Look at his hand. Look at his right hand and how much it's getting swallowed.

Third from the back. You know who has better outfits than that? P.K. Merch. You should have made an ugly Christmas sweater with these exact metals on one side. This is coming out in our extremist line. There's going to be a big hammer and sickle with a bunch of snowflakes. We've got another one that's a little edgy.

I don't know if they're going to make it for us. This is so funny. That would be good. Have you guys ever gone to a fancy restaurant where they make you wear a jacket and you forget to bring a jacket? No, but I've seen Seinfeld. I literally thought that was a Seinfeld bit until like years ago when it happened to me. But that's what those jackets look like. It was a steakhouse here.

Where? In St. Louis. Okay, okay. Yeah. It's a very classy city if you have a high if you have a high douchebag rate in your town then they won't enforce something like that like la would never do that because they're not going to be like oh we can't say no to this guy he could be a fucking some shithead on a reality show with like three million followers so he could wear

whatever the fuck he wants his baseball cap inside but I feel like St. Louis are like nah bro you heard the fucking rules where's your jacket it's a bulletproof jacket to keep you safe during dinner but that's what those jackets look like totally untailed there's not a single tailor in all of North Korea all those medals

and no one to him that's what's crazy too seriously like no one got theirs fit here's another thing you notice if you pay attention if you look at like a well and no one to him. That's what's crazy too. Seriously, no one got their spit? Here's another thing you notice if you pay attention. If you look at a well-decorated American serviceman or whatever, he's got different kinds of fucking medals, right? Because he did

different shit in different places. These guys all have like 30 of the same fucking thing. It's just double kills. They all like double kills. It's the equivalent of a kid with like 30 smiley faces on his report card there was a 30 for one sale at the metal store loaded up i also i i would imagine there's no taylor because the last thing you want is to show

up to work looking better than your boss have you seen him as a dictator have you seen him yeah i i did see he looks much better but he's been a lot now you don't want to look better than him now even especially well he's like so much that he's unrecognizable borderline kim saw my diet and his body it's been for a little bit he's a huge amount of weight i think someone got shit for being like he looks good shit man oh yeah that's a man with another 50 years of dictatorship under him literally what we're looking at right here straight up these two pictures this is a guy that cut soda out of his life i was gonna say he went from like

you know really fat to just fat yeah he like drinks water now but by comparison he looks a million times better that's the thing people who are you know over the edge like that guy on the left dude you have easy gains in front of you you're not trying to get from 15 to 11 body fat where the real suffering happens you have easy gains to get from 30 to 25. Yeah. It was that what you said is a hundred percent correct. It was, we take it down now, please. Zach,

the, um, like, like going from like 19 or 20 or no 24 where I started to like 20 was like, what it really was, was like, Derek, can I eat a little less so we can just magically lose this way?

Cause it would just melt off if I cut any calories out off at all. Cause I was, my metabolism was going so crazy. Those last three pounds were a goddamn nightmare. They were a fucking nightmare. Not the water pounds. The last three water pounds are probably hard too

because not the first three water pounds but the last three. There were a lot of things that I did that were difficult. The water cut for me in particular seemed super duper easy it was like like that youtuber that does the the movie things it was barely an inconvenience it was like i was i was i didn't feel uncomfortable to say i was thirsty i was about as thirsty thirsty as i am right now because i'm i'm high off delta and whatever

and i have like dry mouth. Like I wasn't thirsty at all. I didn't have dry mouth. How many water pounds did you cut? 11, I believe. I could look it up. I've got like the photos. I think it was 11 from the time I woke up until the time I photographed.

But I cut like another couple of pounds of pounds i think the night before by just stopping drinking you know earlier in the day the most i ever cut was seven or eight something like that but i'm told 11 is like i know the math is weird but like 11 is three times as much like it gets much harder towards yeah i found oh i mean it definitely slows down like at first it's like whoa three pounds gone like you get three just by sleeping overnight. Like not even trying. You really do. That last picture you did, Kyle,

like if I were to like hold my thumb over where your face was, it was like, that's the most shredded, insane, vascular. It was like Kyle's like final cut. He put it in our chat. I don't know if that one ever went public, but it was like you had visible veins like in your Adonis belt or whatever that's called, like to be that. And then like move the thumb away from your face. The most sallow sunken eyes, like begging for water.

You looked upset and sick. I felt amazing. I felt them. I was, I was like, I was, I was like, you looked amazing. I was like, I feel good. I was proud. Not of,. I was like, I feel good. I was proud. It's not a personal accomplishment, but I was proud of you. You did a thing that required dedication and discipline and hard work day after day after day. There were some days when likely you didn't feel like doing it and you did it anyway. It was a fucking tremendous accomplishment. I like when friends accomplish.

anyway it was a fucking tremendous accomplishment i like when friends really accomplish i like that like uh transitive like feeling you get when like a friend accomplishes something really hard you don't gain anything from it but it's still cool yeah can you full screen kyle zach i think whenever people uh come into my stream and talk of like you see kyle or at least they like they were doing it i was always like i'm so proud of this guy you have no idea he's like that's like the no person that's part of that small percentage that does that crazy shit to get that shit done I'm so proud of this guy. You have no idea. He's just cropping his dick out of the picture. To know a person that's part of that small percentage that does that crazy shit to get that shit done. It's not showing very well.

It will. If I have to turn off a light, I will. I'm trying to light. You look like an angel. Send me that directly. I'm going to turn off a light. Send me that directly on WhatsApp, Kyle. I can put it on Imgur and

oh yeah that's you know that makes a lot more sense I'll make the same offer when he comes back if it doesn't turn out really well yeah because I couldn't even tell that was the same picture I was talking about based on that looks like he's laying down.

Okay, alright. Oh, nice. Is that on your Tinder? Look at that. Look at how perfectly hairless he is. Yeah, just like a fucking... Well, not perfectly hairless. Like a shaved cat or something. Is it inappropriate to touch myself? No. I mean, we're friends. It'd be inappropriate not to.

Alright. You have to take that sweater off first though well where's the one where you're standing at the bus like you're standing there during the photo shoot and you're at your absolute most look at that there's a lot of peck there look at that look at the obliques it's like a maze in your area i feel like you're like top talent in your area hold it again kyle yeah not like do like a a competition of sorts or something i feel like for're top talent in your area. Can you hold it again, Kyle? Do you not do a competition of sorts or something? I feel like you bring home a medal.

If you look at his nipple there, just to the lower left, that's an oblique. It's the armpits, what muscles we're talking about. Those you only get when you're really strong and thin. You got to flex your armpits real hard for that one. That's a weird place to flex. You have to be drawn in a comic book.

I'm just so dehydrated. That's a lock and load picture if I've ever seen one. I'm angry there. I'm all red. Can we Photoshop an unusually large cum shot on the stomach? We don't have to. You can see. I always wondered.

How fucking lean do you have to be so that when you sit you don't have a belly at all and you have the answer for us this is this is me like cutting weight that last day like like whoa wait hold on hold on it was just hold it hold it a little stiller yeah yeah i'll push it oh that's a good angle wish it was yeah it is hard to have no your arm is like as big as your body yeah his arm's not actually bigger than his chest or back

it is it's just that it's frightening right it's only the left arm too not a lot of symmetry Kyle would you ever consider competing in like an amateur bodybuilding thing or do you have no interest in that whatsoever? No, that doesn't seem like fun at all.

This picture is right before you're raped. You would go and get a medal for 100%. I was about to say, you picked the wrong house. What you can tell is that I'm laying down under him, and I took that picture. Have you ever seen that? What she sees and what you can tell is that I'm laying down under him and I took that picture. Have you ever seen that? Like what she sees and what you see? Why do girls like boys? It's terrible.

I remember like when I was a kid before, like I understood sexuality at all. Like maybe kindergarten, first grades, like six years old and being like, man, life is so tough for women. Like they have to be with men, even though everyone's attracted to women. Like I didn't, I didn't get it. I didn't put those pieces together. And yeah, I,

I saw on Reddit, this woman said this thing, but the same thing I had, I had a shared experience when they talked about like gay marriage being illegal. This is me as a young guy. It was like, yeah, of course it would. Because otherwise everyone would just marry women. And a girl said that in my class.

And now I look back and I'm like, she gay. She gay. I'm going to show one more of myself serving gross pictures and I promise I'll never do it again. I like this actually. At this point, I'm so lean that the three of us had a conversation about, what are those things under your skin?

Let me see. Zach? Oh, look how so vascular. It's that goddamn light again because I turned it. Hang on. I'm going to try to light.

Lower the brightness on your phone. Lower the brightness on your phone maybe. Send it to Woody and he'll put it on Imgur. Okay. If you put it on WhatsApp, I can do that. Or you can turn your light off.

Lower the brightness of the phone. Yeah, your vascularity was getting insane and that blue chew And the veins were so large. Your vascularity was getting insane and that blue chew making you even more. They're larger than I imagined my veins to be. I feel like if I went through that same

process, they wouldn't be that big. I take a lot of pictures of guys who have those veins that almost double back. Up, down, up, down, up, down. They look gross. Almost like a worm is under their skin they might be varicose veins they are varicose vein and like i was watching like i was

reading i think on reddit or somewhere about like this on this bodybuilding forum or powerlifting or something it was some guy yoked out of his mind and he had a bunch of those in his bicep blessings maybe it may have been him there's a number of those guys and in the comments i expected those guys to be like oh he's so jacked he's so great and like some guy who like had a flair for being knowledgeable was like yep take a look boys this guy's on his last three years of life that vein is indicative of an unbelievably high blood pressure and rate on his heart for years on end aren't veins in the arm don't deconstruct and decompose like that unless there's a huge problem and it's like that makes sense like all those guys who are

jacked out of their mind they start getting those then a few years later they're dead that happened to mountain dog yep he had those and then he died i um i really like the vascularity like when i am working out um so like i i took so many supplements that are for that number one being like derrick's pre-workout because it's it's amazing at that but then like i was eating like a quarter of a watermelon every day like just silly things because i read that it's got um it's either citrulline or lysine it's something in there that helps with a pump i don't recall what it was but then the blue chew and everything else. That looks good. Like a roadmap. And it looks like you were shot by someone with a pellet gun.

Yeah, with a pellet gun. You see those three little dots in my arm? When I would press on those, they felt like veins. That's bizarre. Especially the one near your elbow. They are, aren't they? Those three little dots around my elbow, sort of in a triangle. I think they're blood vessels or veins or something.

I don't know why they look like dots. sort of in a triangle. I think they're blood vessels or veins or something. I don't know why they look like dots. But they weren't hard or anything like something actually on my skin. They're just veins that look like that. You sure got a needle and punctured them. I did. I drained them and then

You lanced your own veins. Yeah. I started bloodletting on month number four and I found that that gave me a lot of extra power in the gym, the bloodletting. I just went to his channel again to try and see an example of Mountain Dog's fucked up arm veins. It is getting disrespectful how many uploads they've done since he's gone. They uploaded my three favorite rows for a big back nine hours ago.

Charlie doesn't know about this. So there's this YouTuber that we all enjoyed because of his bodybuilding content named Mountain Dog. He's been dead for like nine months and he's uploaded like 150 videos. While being dead? While being dead. He's the Tupac of YouTube fitness. If this is all scheduled uploads, then this guy was the most prepared YouTuber there has ever been. Dude, he keeps dropping new hits.

I'm not sure he's dead. This guy is dead? Yeah, he's dead. He died. Honestly, we said 150, but it really might be like 50 videos since he died. I think it was around the time that i was like finishing my fitness shit like like because derrick was on like a couple weeks before like like i think he died in like late may or some shit like it's been a while it hasn't been

nine months like i said but it's been a while he's been dead for a while yeah certainly this is crazy having this guy teach you how to work out is like, it's like the closest you could get to having like Obi-Wan. Ghost Obi-Wan is your best. They should add that. He's like a force ghost. This is crazy. I can't believe it. They should edit it and turn him into a force ghost.

I would fucking love that. Man, I like this channel. He's like. R.I.P. Was one of the nicest guys in body. Like a lot of guys in bodybuilding that it's a drama community. And, you know, these guys, they snipe at that guy. And just by nature of it, one of the nicest guys in body like a lot of guys in bodybuilding that it's a drama community and you know these guys they snipe at that guy and um just by nature of it everything's so personal

because it's about you what your chest looks like how your biceps are small or whatever so they get snippy everybody loved this guy this guy was this is a killer this is a killer arm workout you're not gonna survive this leg day i wish there were puns like that in every one of his videos after this push down workout you're gonna knock out today but we're gonna knock out this workout anyway how did this guy die he just he just dropped two jacked that's been happening a lot people have been dropping dead lately hard he A lot of these guys get heart attacks. They do it, they cruise

their whole life, like their entire life of doing a drug non-stop, like forever. But Harley, here's the question. Do you want to be lame and live to 78 or fucking awesome to 55? I'm pretty sure

this guy was younger than you woody mountain dog was 27 can we split the difference of those two i feel like you could find a medium between yeah i think so too i think i think you got some people blast like i look at some people and i know and like you just know and they've been blasting their whole life their whole life and then maybe their thing is on youtube and that's what they do so they could never stop like i remember i used to watch rich piano videos and like he was like he would look like 65 in a video and then like a month and a half later he would look like 35 and he would update you what he was doing and how crazy it was and it was crazy you saw it all but then some people you look at you're like yo you look great all the time and you're

always like 300 pounds like at some point there's got to be a chill i mean that you know the last time you saw vitality in person yeah uh ages i spoke to him not too long ago. I watched the video of him getting arrested on mushrooms. Yeah, same. Who's Vitaly? I saw him four years ago and did a little thing with him, and he was so fucking jacked. It was me and him and fucking Logan Paul are standing there, and I'm like, man, I got to work out.

Like, fuck. Who is Vitaly? He's the do you lift bro he did like uh pranks he's the russian prankster guy um who he ran up and beat that woman up that was uh jogging he assaulted that woman but it was a social experiment it was not it was an assault i did think it was for a long time and then apparently it just seems like he was on some shit yeah i don't know if you did you watch that police video they like put him in like a van he was I guess

it's like one of those like like like those vans where you can't find a vein light like it had that red blue red blue flashing yeah and like there's like pink too it looked like like just an RGB set up like a computer and they grabbed him and he was like

I'm tripping on mushrooms. And they put them in this like neon prison van with like, and I was like, are they pranking him? It was just crazy. It was really crazy. As they drive away, you just.

Yeah, but he got, he got, he got thick and fit, but it's's not it wasn't the same as you though that's like when someone goes and they they take a product and they go and they work out every day and they get their protein every day but they didn't do those extra crazy things that you did that take it to a whole other level of existence that's why he looks like that's like whoa he's jacked i know what looks at him and there no one why he looks like, whoa, he's jacked.

No one looks at him and goes, oh, look, he's got that comic book muscle over here. What's his name? I want to Google him. Vitaly. I think he looks better than me. I think he's much bigger. What do you mean better than you?

I think he's bigger. He wasn't more ripped than you. I think he was, and I think he was bigger think he was bigger and uh i don't think he was not all right i can't spell his name i will not not there all right so here okay thank you people need to know what he looks like he looks good yeah no he looks great i think he looks great and he was always working on when i met him he was working out we had worked out a whole bunch to get there like back in the days um but i never thought that he was ripped to the level that you were but then again also like in terms of taste like you were showing your progression and i saw a picture of you at a

certain point and i was like that's where i would stop that's where i would have a hard time mentally continuing because i'd be like bro i look fucking look fucking good now. I can keep going, which to a thing is like, to me, the ultimate commendable thing that you did was go that extra level because then you get to the place where it's like, well, now you're a creature, Kyle. I'm a super ripped creature. That's what I wanted. I wanted to be a creature

and me and Derek would talk about this at like, he's got the same sleep schedule I do, so he and I would be talking about this shit at 4 a.m. and he's like's like you know you could you could stop now we could get you to like um you know you're you're at like 12 body fat or whatever you're ripped as fuck you're huge you'd look great or we could you know treat this thing like it's a bodybuilding preparation contest like for reals and i'm like well that's what we set out to do you know when we very first started it was let's not just get fit let's do something silly let's go to single digit body fat was a goal

from the very beginning yeah that's wild and um and and just being like like i think jacked in tan well like one of my reps at derrick's company he's like are you jacked in tan yet and i said and like it's like eight months have passed since I'd spoken to him. I sent him a picture and he's like, Holy fuck. Fuck. Kyle was, and I say this in the best way possible.

A yes, man. Right? Hey Kyle, I have an idea, but you need to do more cardio. Yes. Kyle,

I have an idea. We should do a thing. You're going to have to cut calories. Fucking yes. Kyle, let's add more sets. Do you know what drop sets sets are that's when you keep going until you can't lift the fives anymore yes it's like me in bed no it's it's it's hyper motivating when you're seeing uh progress and stuff it is is uh is the only thing that i can um like like like say that

really was a was a driving force. And not wanting to let Derek down because he had invested so much time. And at the beginning, money. I don't know if we ever talked about it, but Derek paid for a good percentage of my medication when we first started out. And there was just a point where I was like, I should be paying for my own meds.

You learned a lot about diet from Derek. Oh, yeah. You learned a lot about, I was going, I should be paying for my own meds. You learned a lot about diet from Derek. Oh, yeah. You learned a lot about, I was going to say nutrition. That's sort of overlap. But even how to work out, the program he gave you. You were, I don't know, the video game character he was controlling. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, for sure. You were like CJ in San andreas and he's sending you

to the running you yeah pretty much yeah and i just did what he said because i believed it would work i like being able to like believe that what he was saying was true and believe in the plan is super motivating because i think a lot of times like whatever diet or workout plan you're on you're like well the the idea is that I do this stuff for six months and I look good, but, but it's like, no, we have a plan in six months. I will look like this. There is, there's no, there's no way around it. Like, like it's, it's, it's, it's physically impossible for it not to happen. And so just being able to trust in that and just keep doing it every day and just keep grinding away at it. Cause knowing what was

coming, especially those last weeks, like We talked about cutting those last few pounds. I think that's how we got on the topic. It's dreadful because you're just scratching and clawing to burn an extra calorie or two here and there to be at a deficit because your body just doesn't need a lot of calories. That's what I'm talking about. You've got to do that while you already look very good. You've got to do that part when you're already happy with where you're at.

So you're doing that like extra hard work. Like I think it was like in a Malcolm Gladwell book. They said you could learn like a language in, in like four years, but it's the next six years that you'll have to learn that last 2% of the language to sound like you're part of like you so that you can communicate with people without them constantly being like you're doing great but you could fully understand everything read a book talk to people understand them

but if you really want to communicate like as a person then it's that extra six years and it's like kind of like that like you're already looking good and you have to go and put in that extra work to get that little change just that tiny change but then that tiny change is like what i'm saying that's what separates you from like like i i never saw vitality with that i never i thought he always looked great i thought he looked was really i'd look at him bro he's jack but it didn't look like what you did where i look at you i was like man i hope like i looked at your pictures and you look so good that i was like i hope he's doing good mentally i i it helps a lot mentally being like sure i don't know looking like that i'm trying not to

sound like too much of a douchebag but like um i don't know i'd go to the gas station wearing like my my gym clothes and people would just fuck isn't that cool you so you're like mac i do that you like to scare people a little bit if i see a guy come into the gas station like with fucking guns out like you like looking like boner skin and a tank top i could be like yeah like i'm a fan right away you know what i would slap your shoulders stranger like you're so fit and jacked if i saw you in public, I would immediately I was going to say think I would know you were gay.

Honestly, when I hear that you're like, that's the guy that takes care of himself. He must kill it on Grindr. Only another man could appreciate that physique. Put your picks up on Grindr. See how many matches you get. I'm going to murder it. I'm going to murderr. See how many matches you get. Just as an experiment. I'm going to fucking murder it.

I'm going to murder it. As well as I... No, like plenty of women, I guess, like say things or flirt or whatever. But so many dudes at the gym, like every dude wants to talk. That's one of the reasons I like working out so much at like 2 or 3 a.m.

because nobody's fucking there and I don't have to talk to people. I hate talking to people. Home gym master race, man. Harley talked about I hope he's doing okay mentally. I'm not in his head. I just watch from the outside. You know when a guy

beats cancer, right? He's beaten cancer, but he is ruined, right? He's pale. He's fluffy. He's the worst version of him. Like even though he just beat cancer and rang the bell, that guy is not doing well. He needs some time to sort of. Kyle left prison as a cancer survivor.

And then. A something survivor. And then things didn't get better. You know, like he left prison and kind of, you know, entered a fluffy stage. And then as he exited that and started recomposing and reforming what he looks like on the outside, he got better and better on the inside too. He was a better friend, a better podcast host, a better business partner.

This is Pete Kyle we're looking at right here. Very good. Very good, Kyle. And I invented Lock and Load at at the same time i love this part the help of my associates here we've given all of you out there frothier more turgid loads loads that look like cottage cheese you have to wring out that last couple of centimeters of it and it looks like those string cheese things you peel apart it's so thick and viscous it is i need the fans to run with this line of thing dude kyle was the only driving force the lead sled dog while taylor and i were sleeping attached to his harness

getting dragged along no this is propaganda this is propaganda i was taking into my own load stack that that's like what i don't remember that and the fans don't either they're going to write a comment about it i remember i remember texting kyle like after the bit on the show in our group chat and being like kyle i'm taking this this this this and kyle's like very similar stacks very similar i think you should up your zinc a little bit taylor and i was like you got to add some more because at the time I was taking an insane amount of Sunflower of the Sith and I'm like, you got to double down on that with Sithen. I did too. We built our loads stronger together.

So many pills when we were in experimental stages. I'm taking a ton now. I take a ton every fucking day. But that was silly. That was a lot of pills. It got expensive after a while. A lot of bottles.

Do you still take that Thorne multivitamin? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would give that a go. It's just so fucking expensive. $50 a month, yeah. And that adds up. That's like more than all my street drinks.

I'm well aware. You're probably close to it. I'm well aware that it adds up because I'm also taking, you know, I'm well aware that it adds up because I'm also taking, you know, like fucking my magnesium glycinate and my fucking God, there's a fucking pile of shit. Um, but the, the fish oil and, um, I don't know, everything's in a big pile. Have you ever taken a break from the thorn stuff to see if you could like feel a difference? I seriously, I could feel the difference. Um, but, but I just don't take a break from much of anything really because i i don't know what the

spaghetti effect against the wall effect uh uh is actually you know manifesting itself i don't know what works and what doesn't in my whole cocktail of nonsense that i take from the fucking cranberry juice that i drink in the morning to the needle i stick in my ass at night so it's a lot like advertising so many companies out there like sales are going up and it's like why we don't know because there's no way to tie digital marketing to in-store sales without like i saw chael sonnen advertising this uh this company that sends you these bags of grilled chicken bites like they just take grilled chicken they season it cook it grill it and then they fucking put it in a bag and send it to you for $11 a pound. Are they good?

I have no idea. I'm not spending $11 a pound for cooked chicken. That's a very rich person thing to do. I can eat elk for that, and I am. With 3% beef. With 3% beef. I think that's so it doesn't just fall apart and crumble because there's no fucking fat in elk. Yeah.

Yeah. I've been eating that for a while it's pretty fucking good i um instead of bison or a lean beef i found this place that has elk and i do i've been doing elk and venison a lot um i'm about to start on a whole new program honestly like i meant to have started on it already but and i'm not i'm sure derrick is just busy but i haven't heard from derrick and i'm waiting to hear back derrick on like several several things for nagging time. Are you going to do

the same workout regimen? I think It'd be tragic if everyone left a comment to get back to Kyle. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. Dude, he'll love it for the algorithm. This is like his thing. Okay, for the algorithm. Going right, Kyle

wants your algorithm strong don't don't bother derrick on my account though he's scary he's a scary he's scary you're huge and he's significantly larger yeah there's always a bigger fucking fish uh i promise you that's a scary now to it he's always inspire me i do um deltoids are one of the few things i do drop sets on i feel like i can work them really hard i don't get too sore and i don't get injured and all the time i'm like this is how he did it this is how he did it and that video where he says i don't know the video you're thinking of but i i know is dude the video i think of dude i've shown it to you there's this

giddy giddy girl i think she's asian that's not important though and she's like guys you know guys when they have that that line right here between their their oh fuck me and i'm like uh chicks like that okay yeah yeah everybody that it matters but yeah i like um i like that too i like the back of the tricep like like when you when you like lock your elbow out um You get that horseshoe-looking thing? Yeah, I've got a really defined horseshoe thing going on in the back that I think looks cool. And that's something that you just don't have unless you work out. I don't have a horseshoe like you do, but I saw my tricep muscle in the mirror today. And it was leg day, but I was just like oh gains harley you're

such a big guy if you got jacked out of your mind you'd be terrifying and that's a great goal beat become terrifying character become become a golem i did i did think i did think that like at one point you guys remember when i was working out a lot. I mean, I was probably like 40 pounds less than I am now, but just composed differently. Yeah. And I was never been able to go to where Kyle went because I was like, oh, I'm good. And I like this. And to be honest, I was doing it because I wanted to look good in videos. I wanted to look better.

I wanted to look healthy. And I wanted to like, like look good in videos. I want it to look better. I want it to look healthy. And I wanted to fuck women. And I think people, when you're like on Kyle's level, I think people get like insecure around that kind of like you can make, Kyle can make like a fit person look kind of sloppy. You know what I mean? So like, if you're just a regular person, you're going gonna feel really sloppy

um plus i was lazy and very happy with my results but i never pushed it to that extent and i don't even know if i have what it is mentally that that kyle has to get there you know what i mean you gotta be like uh you gotta be like uh like angry or retarded and he's both. I was going to say that. I wasn't sure. You know what I mean? I'm halfway there.

Maybe I have a dab of autism, not enough anger. You know what I mean? I'm too happy in a video game or something. You've got a dab of autism. We've all got it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I was dipped in it. i was dipped in it i was dipped in it and i was i just like i never thought about like going there but i did think like when i would look at it like you know some some videos or pictures i was like man if i did that it'd be crazy but then i'm also like that's like a lot of food a lot of the amount of effort he put into it because every day we were getting text updates

and like pictures of meals and then like some of the most bland looking just meals that would make me sad and i like as it was like you talking about like almost getting discouraged by someone else's wild success i remember like throughout kyle's transformation we'd be texting he and i and kyle would be like what are you what are you inclined benching right now? And I'm like three by 12, one 85. And he's like, I'm coming for you. And I was like,

initially I was like, he'll, he'll maybe Peter off on this. And then after a few months it was like, no, he's coming for all your lifts. And then like, as soon as he would text me and be like,

what are you, what's your tricep pushdown thing? That's my strongest. And I'm like, I couldn't even tell you right now. I don't even know. And Kyle said, just something outrageous. And I'm like, I know it's not that. I can't tell you.

My goals for all that. Whenever I had the goals were like, like I was in such bad shape that I was like, they were personal goals. I was never like, I'll look at look at like my stronger friend or whatever and be like, I'm coming to get you. My goal was like, I looked at my, my ass in the mirror and I was like, I'm going to lift you up. I'm going to lift you. And like my only goal, like when I first started working, I was like, I need to do wide grip pull-ups and pull myself up. Like if I was dangling, like in a fucking game, like uncharted or something like i'm not i can't get up and no one can help me up either like that's just like no one's coming down you're

just dead pull-ups are my my game how did you do i got to like 12 pull-ups and you know what it was that that helped me like sets of 12 like i could do 12 like i could keep going and going but like to do 12 in a row like 260 pounds was just very hard for me that's really good that's incredibly hard what helped me do it was there's this thing it's like you know they have so many assisted machines but the one that helped me the most was like this like it's it's a flat thing that you lie on on your tummy and it can it's like a mechanism that could slide up and down and it has the grips at the top of it so you're lying on your stomach like at 45 degrees and sliding on this like sled thing up and

down pulling yourself up and then you can go up like a bit more degrees whatever and then when you feel good you could probably go do like two pull-ups so like i would go do two pull-ups and then i would go hit this thing and i would go do two pull-ups when i got to that level and then i kept doing it until i was just doing the pull-ups but i never gave up that like assisted machine i would just do more of it it was i was able to go slow and do better for myself yeah i still use the uh the assisted machine um for for are those the ones you put your knees on yeah uh mine is his is the is is a full body sled incline but yeah i used i used those ones too they were never seen those are harder though than what i was describing yeah mine you

put your knees on a thing and you're able to control the counterweight so it's able to essentially but it's like it's not there supporting you it's kind of like tapping you like it's like you could you still have to do it yourself you've got to go yeah yeah you got to do it you got to be ready yourself. You're doing a lot more in that one. But, yeah, when I first started out, I couldn't do three sets of 12 pull-ups for sure. But over time, you slowly remove the resistance or the counterbalance on that machine until you're doing them. And then after a while, it's time to strap weights on to you.

The same way with dips. It's the same machine for dips as well. And I started out with assisted dips, and now I'm strapping quite a bit of weight on for, for nothing makes me feel like better than doing a bunch of dips. Like I feel you lean forward, you feel like you're activating your chest, you're getting your triceps going.

I love they're one of his favorite exercises. They are my favorite exercise. Um, I don't think anybody like notices me working out at the gym at all really until I do dips and I start slapping on giant weights on a belt and they're just like oh he's gonna do dips too and it's just like wait how are you putting weight on a belt if you're doing it in that machine with your knees on it so that was pull-ups so i thought he said it was the same machine it's the same machine so i take a 25 pound, and I put it on the assist pad and zero it out.

I put it all the way to the floor. So I get to use the fancy grips and the whole, like, really stable machine. Oh, smart. I understand. That's a good strategy. So then you're not using that rusty, weird standing one that might tip in the corner. I started weak on dips. When these guys were strapping weights to themselves,

I was putting a resistance band across the two handles so it like pulled my knees up and uh then i got to the point in my mind i do between 8 and 12 on a set that's my target if i can't do 8 the weight is too heavy or i need more assistance or whatever that that's how i roll and uh when i could finally do three sets of eight you know with no assistance at all it was like oh i'm a gamer too right and i'm currently at 312s i think yeah yeah but i do dips i always did dips i always did dips and even now like when i go to the gym i do dips on chest day and i use it as like like for like my my my decline like the middle the middle part of my titties right here, and I just lean forward really far. But I never did them on tricep day because –

It's hard to isolate that lower pec. Two good exercises for that that I found. One is unique to that machine that I've just been describing, the assisted dip and pull-up machine, because it does have that cushioned knee pad that's about clavicle level on a grown man that you can assist the resistance on. You can put your hands in kind of this diamond thing and stand straight to it and push down. And if you do that right now in your chair, you can feel like the bottom of your pecs flex. Like you can see where you're kind of

activating. And so you're able to really slowly go up and down like this with as much weight you can go to failure you can go you can go above your your strength level and then obviously decline um presses of any kind whether using dumbbells or uh barbells i should try dips just to see what i can is one thing about my dips is that my the very last thing i do on push day and that impacts your performance a lot big time yeah for sure i mean like we're talking about it now like oh i couldn't even tie weights to myself like like most people can't do a dip and a pull-up like they're two very basic exercises but it takes a tremendous amount of strength to pull yourself up or to control

lower yourself and dip one of my favorite things about those exercises is that like if you tell someone you overhead press 135 on a barbell no one knows what that is like like oh is that even good yeah good in my head by the way that's the start of good one plate on an overhead press two plates on a bench three on a squat four on a deadlift those are like my benchmarks but uh so if you're doing one plate on an overhead press you're doing pretty good but no one gets it if you do 12 pull-ups and then you do 12 again and then you do 12 again most people know they can't do that yeah yeah i i don't like i have one of those cheapo like belts with a chain on it that you can put through the the weight plate to do it i fucking hate that thing and so

like what i do is i have an old backpack and i wear that like on my front and then i like put plates into the old backpack and it's just if it helps like it helps you get in that position like where you're like almost you're almost like parallel like i have a belt like that yeah you're leaned all the way you're leaning forward and it feels good i tried i like mine i i don't know what's appropriate i would that's one of those things where i almost wish i had like someone sitting next to me like ah no no keep your back straight because i don't know because sometimes i lean all the way forward and almost end up in like a gymnastic pose doing like a push-up um and then sometimes i just really keep my back straight and sort of like point my chin to the sky

and really make sure I'm activating back there. I had my wife video me and I sent it to subject matter experts because I had that same thing about dips. I was worried. It's also an exercise where you can hurt yourself really easily. It's fucking hard.

I'd never done a dip before. I remembered in high school seeing people do dips and trying them and immediately failing. You ever try to like lift something you see and immediately fail and be like, Oh, that's so far beyond. It's not like when you try to do like a cartwheel and like, it's a little wonky,

but you may, you rotated. It would be like, you try to do a cartwheel and your wrist snapped. Like, but, but, um um speaking of like the just you saying the wrist snap thing have you guys ever seen the video of tom segura going for a dunk yes and he like he like crumples up like a dead spider like broken arm broken knee like he's all he's been the wrong way in that if i remember right

it was one of those hard to look at it is it is his his arm bent the wrong way like he's laying on the ground with like the knee was one of those injuries you couldn't like see out on the outside but his arm was like laying flat across his back the wrong way it's and he's just going like, and it was scary for me. Cause as a fellow, not 19 year old, like all he was doing was like a layup with maybe like a little cut under the basket. Right.

Like he's going under the basket, dribbling and he attempted to turn 45 degrees. He ruined himself. In other words, he didn't even make it playing pickup basketball. He's like warming up for pickup basketball i think i'm not even sure there wasn't i'm not in tremendous shape but i guarantee that i don't crumble and collapse trying to do you think you can turn 45 degrees without injury taylor

i'm gonna that's myself here yeah that's i have i have so many jewish friends that injured themselves playing basketball uh i swear it is like ultimate, ultimate. Like when you're 27 years old and up and Jewish, you stop. You have to stop. I have like eight friends with a torn ACL. I'm not even joking. And it's all basketball. All Jews.

Always. Jews love basketball so much, like disproportionately. And I remember like I had. You watch found they're hitting jumpers like today he'll like you see him like he plays ball and he's good at it i remember like a couple of my my jewish friends growing up like they were super into basketball and every time i'd go over to their house they'd want to play basketball and like even at 11 years old i'm like these guys are terrible these guys are not good they need to they need to start boning up on finance and stuff because this is not gonna you're not ben i'm so sorry you're not going to the nba we're 11 and you're four foot six so i don't think you're gonna yeah

that's that's what it comes down to a lot has anybody seen the uh you mentioned jews has anybody seen the new south park uh like i haven't yet but i want to and i know all about it i don't know really anything about is it a good episode they did a new special it's on hbo i think or paramount or wherever i fuck i want i don't know i just click play and it plays because i've got a bunch of shit um and it's uh it's pretty fucking good no spoilers here but it's like in the future when the boys, as we know them, are like 40 or 35 or something like that. They're adults now. And they're talking about things that happened that we as the audience didn't get to see. And then they start filling in the gaps. And so you get to see what everybody grew up to be. And

also you get this fun little thing where they're making fun of what technology will be like in 25 years or 20 years or whatever it is uh if i liked it a lot um and i don't want to spoil what they do with cartman but yeah i heard it's so funny it fucking had me rolling like i i that's the best part to me is what they do so it was actually good you a lot of times when they do like time shift and like aging of characters, I'm not all in. Cause I'm so probably just cause I'm like, so stuck in the rut of like,

no, they're supposed to be eight year olds. It's actually funny. I liked it. Did you like the last two COVID specials there? I thought they were really good. I like those two. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I like that. They're making like stupid, go fuck yourself money, making these specials as well um like it's outrageous i love that those weird fucking dudes are gonna become billionaires off this i only saw that uh that first special they did since the covid thing i haven't seen the second one so i guess the third one i I am so bored of this Tegrity Farms shit. I'm over it. It wasn't

even a funny premise in the beginning at all. You're going to love the special. I'm over it. Okay, well then hopefully Tegrity Farms is a thing of the past and they can go back to normal. You're going to love the special. Okay, well, I hope so. You're going to love the special. Am I alone on this island? Do you guys

agree? It's a two-par guys agree it's a two-parter ends on a cliffhanger oh but as far as the integrity farms thing like are you kind of on the same page you guys like but it's so fucking played i don't when you brought it up i was like yeah i didn't think about it then but like you bring it up like yeah i don't need that anymore yeah it's just not it's the kids are funnier with each other. I don't mind it. I think I like it more than the other. You don't like Stan's dad episode? I do.

I love those episodes. I do like Stan's dad episodes, but I like the ones where he's at home and he's a geologist. And the kids have their bee storyline. That was, I mean, it's just better. I prefer that. Yeah, I don't know. I like that they do different things, I guess, is what I really like. And this is different going forward in the future.

And the way they explain it and some of the stuff that's – I can't talk about it without spoiling. I just want to say I liked a lot of what they did. I laughed a good bit. I didn't think it was amazing or anything. Like Imagination Land, to me is like the best like special event type thing they've ever fucking done i love imagination imagination land is their peak like like like all those references like it's just it's perfect for me i love i love the

imagination song makes me laugh so it's so stupid and it makes me laugh so hard every time and you know they rush to take me on covid i want to know you mentioned it they dictated covid specials what was their takeaway they usually have like a moral or the current one is still on covid oh i thought it was called how would you describe what south park feels about covid um they uh they are more left-leaning like like um and and sort of like realizing that there's just a component of us that are just assholes. Here's your spoiler. Here's your one spoiler. The pandemic is still a thing in the special.

That's why they said it in the earlier one. They said COVID's going to be around for 40 years. Yeah, so it's another 40 years in the future. Alexa, here's one more tiny little thing. Alexa is a fucking hologram. who's like his bitchy wife he's like alexa changed the channel excuse me you fucking asshole alexa's now like a bitchy housewife hologram who begrudgingly does things for him occasionally but uh i but but yeah covet is still a thing and people literally wear face diapers now uh chin diapers yeah all the employees at every place wears a chin diaper and it's this

full like diaper they wear around their head um i liked it i don't know maybe i'm uh still kind of juvenile with my sense of humor but i thought it was pretty fucking funny yeah i bet it is funny i'll check it out i watched duneune for a second time last night as well. Goddamn, that's a good fucking movie. Any better the second time? You notice more? Yeah. It's fucking great. It's a fucking killer. I watched it like four times. I love that movie. I just like

Denis Villeneuve. He's just really good at it. He's really fucking good. That's the ultimate movie. The ultimate. If someone's like, bro, I put on... I have ultimate if someone's like bro i put on like i have a buddy he's like i put on dune bro and i hurt this fucking woman and her stupid kid complaining about life in the fucking desert for like an hour bro and it's the ultimate like it's not for everyone yeah and i tell people all the time it's not for people like yo should i see dune

and i'm like I don't know but I'm gonna go see it a third time now like there's so many little things in there that had me like cause I know the story or whatever I haven't read the book but I obviously watched the first one multiple times like both versions and I like it it's got I got a soft

spot for it for that for that first Dune movie but like there's a part where like his boots were like put on in a particular way and she's like your boots are on desert shimmy shimmy style and he's like it just seems it just seemed like the

right way he is the chosen and then as you like like quote some sort of like nonsense and he shall know the ways of your people and he shall know how to put his boots on. I almost wish he'd been like, what?

It's literally like he says it out loud in front of him. That was funny. He just put something on in a way that makes sense intrinsically and they're like, how did you know? You tied your shoelaces with bunny ears you don't tie your

shoelaces to each shoe you double knotted I guarantee that like one like special forces guy sees another tie his fucking shoes as strangers and he's like oh I noticed you're using the loop de loop method

there's blood on your hands oh, I noticed you're using the loop-de-loop method. There's blood on your hands. Even when she described she's like, yeah, oh, you put the loop on the outside of your boot. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about, but from what you just said, that's exactly how I would have done it too. And I'm not fucking

Muad'Dib or whatever. I'm not the Kwisak Haderach. I'm just I fucking put the loop over the shoe because that's what anyone does. That's what you do with shoes. I've been skiing, bro. I know how it works. They did a really good job of

not being up their own ass about how cool their special effects were. So much was obscured by smoke, fog, dust, and darkness. I feel like it just existed existed you never thought about it uh independence day schumacher or like like who was it made independence day like i can't think of that fucker's name but but like he would never hide a fucking spaceship but like like that he

would have to be like big and bright and the sun would be lit on it and like you never thought about the effects in that movie like it just the movie just existed you never thought about it i thought it was all about special effects now we want someone opened my eyes it might have been filthy to this but i was like there were so many slow scenes where they gradually unveiled a cgi room a cgi ship a cgi crawler and i'm like oh my god i get it you're beating me over the head with your goddamn cgi i took it up differently but then filthy said i think it was filthy um what they're doing here is they're explaining the world to you without beating you over the head like this is what the technology is like all the technology isn't self-driving it's operated by people this is a

family of great power and prestige that's what you're taking away from this slow room unveiling it is a royalty and i was like all right all right you're right i was wrong i saw that movie and i was like that was great i don't felt like i didn't feel like i lacked anything i saw it again i understood it further i was like oh okay then i went and read the dune book because i never read it before and i had a flight and i got on the plane and i fucking read it and i was like bro i would never like this book if that movie wasn't so sick that's right this guy doesn't even describe he doesn't even describe what people look like you don't know what anyone looks like he describes like baron harkonnen

because it's like you have to explain it but like he doesn't he says like you know like paul atreides is like a pointy nose picture whatever the fuck you want basically he describes like equipment here and there he'll describe a room but i didn't know the worst part i was like if i didn't have the movie this would be fucking hard no point of reference do you know what happens to paul atreides in the books i'm not gonna spoil it i'm just asking if you know yes but but i didn't read it i i went to a subreddit after reading the book but i went to a subreddit that goes to all the books yeah and i got like a book two or book three spoiler and i was like oh and it was such a thing but i was like what's the best dune

book and people were like book four and i'm like fuck i gotta read two and three now to get to the good one that's so frustrating but i'm still down because the whole world of it like i'm in on it like i like it there's so much yeah it reminds me so much of warhammer 40k like like world of it, I'm in on it. I like it. There's so much. It reminds me so much of Warhammer 40K. Like parts of it do. What's that? I've never heard you. Is that a thing you like? Are you joking?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys played Tarkov? No. You like bacon and liquor? I have. Fuck. No, but I agree. I love the book and I started to read it after that I wouldn't have felt that way

and I never watched old Dune and people were like it's so trippy and I was like why would it be trippy and then I went and I put on the old Dune movie and it starts off and I'm like this is so fucking trippy Virginia Madsen with that fucking exposition.

Yeah, exactly. And you know me. I love my expositions. But then they started. They did some shit. And I was like, who the fuck is that? You're starting here? This is how we do it?

This is how you spell it out for a 1980s audience? There's that part. And I don't know if this is in the extended edition or not. But let me lay this out for the audience. The evil character has a hairless cat that is presented, and the hairless cat has a rat that has either been tied to it or grafted surgically to it. It's hard to tell if those are bandages or just some way to secure it. And he's informing this man that he has been poisoned and the only cure for his poison well there is no cure but there is medication for

it it is the milk of this hairless cat and so every day he must milk the hairless cat for his antidote and you're like all right so these are the bad guys right and then there's the one guy who's got like the heart plug and like i'm sure the book explains a little bit better but it seems to me that they like surgically implanted like a thing in his heart where like if you want to you can just pull it out and it's like pulling the stopper on a bathtub you know like like like it just unseals his heart to the world and he just bleeds out right there. And he does that to the guy for no apparent reason. And he's clearly,

has this incestuous infatuation with his son who is played by Sting. Sting comes out and he's like, not only was Sting clearly one of the hottest men in the world at that point, but he's the hottest man on the planet Harkonnen because everybody else there is like a greasy pig of a a human being and he's like wearing that weird fucking like i don't know what that cod piece he's wearing with the wings and everything is and he's just

like ripped his fuck eight pack coming out and and his dad is like fuck you yeah and then they cut his brother and his brother's like, yeah, yeah. And it's like, are you guys jerking it to Sting right now? What are we supposed to take from this? I don't think he's related to Sting, actually. They are. He's the uncle of the other guy, the bigger one. I thought they were brothers.

No, this guy's like a ward of sorts to him. Maybe there is okay i don't think so but maybe he's like it's still very weird he's like and they're strong pedo vibes like he's like basically he's got oh he's got a boy he's got a boy yeah he's got boys yeah he's got a fin boy for sure yeah in the original movie it's very clear that harkonnen wants to fuck him yeah yeah yeah he's a horny guy and i was watching i was like oh they lean hard in the horniness we didn't get much horniness in the deneville little one and i heard someone i can't remember who i heard reviewing it but they they described it this way that in the original they really

took the most bizarre things from the book and were and like look how zany this is like there's a part where baron harkonnen is like floating around the room like willy wonka style like he's just like silly it gets silly and in the villanueva whatever his fucking name i can't do it um version this new version he just kind of floats a little and you're like oh he's he's just got some sort of hover thing going on okay that actually seems marginally practical maybe they've got a heavy gravity on their planet or some shit he doesn't float away like willy wonka on like he literally is like a balloon that you let the air out he's a it's a terrible looking effect and and like all the effects in the original look well the shield i saw the shields and i was like what the fuck they're like in rectangles do you know how they do that that fucking uh thing that's i think that's called motoscoping. Oh, yeah, I know how that's done. And it involves literally drawing those

by hand with a ruler for every frame, but you end up not being able to see shit. I love that technology and that premise because you've always got this issue. Anytime, like, it's hard to have a narrative that involves guns where your main character doesn't get shot

by the fucking gun right away because why wouldn't he?'s like he's without him we'd be nowhere bang you're nowhere like like that's what would happen right like like but this has kind of solved that um because you have to use the the hand-to-hand weapons because the slow blade penetrates the shield the fast blade well if you use and they have they have a laser weapon yeah you have a like a fucking literally clear explosion nuclear explosion if you shoot any one of these guys wearing while he's wearing a shield with one of the like fancy laser guns but this this country is nuke like yeah like all of us should know that i read that part like 15 times i'm like my understanding is i'm like is all the shields that I saw in the movie,

if anyone shot someone with not a projectile gun, but like a laser gun, even the ones, I'm like, then everyone gets nuked. But what they don't tell you in the new movie is that the ships that came and bombed the ship when it's actually so sick,

the explosions that happen here, they're so sick and they look awesome and like when the ship comes and crashes down just looks real that whole scene they don't say it in the movie but they're using like artillery and like explosives and projectiles and and in the book they're like why would you use this this is like like 80 000 years old and they're like oh because we're just gonna blow them up they're gonna have the they're gonna have shields up we can't hit anyone with shields and they don't talk about it but in the book because you know because if you hit someone with a shield with a laser gun it's a nuclear explosion yeah and i was like how does that why would that ever make sense to give

everyone little potential nuclear explosive scenarios you know because it allows you to have a sci-fi narrative where you get to have sword fights and it makes sense because even star wars doesn't make much sense because i guarantee i could kill a jedi if you give me an ar-15 hit the yeah well a the jedis apparently mandalorians were able to kill jedis like they had shotguns that's what the lightsabers don't work well like you shotgun oh my god mandalorian weapons wow so that really is all you need i never thought about it so just a single shotgun and even yoda the mandalorian weapons were like made for jedi specifically that's right star wars it is now it is yeah i'm sure

dude i haven't gotten on the Wheel of Time thing. I'm going to let it keep going, and we'll see if everybody keeps staying hyped on this thing. Always a smart move, I think. So Woody looks interested. Wheel of Time is apparently, I'm told, I think Amazon is making it right now, and it's another one of those beloved book series. And I've seen like three seconds of it in like previews and shit and it looked okay but i and i and i hear people hyped on it but it's such a big potential

bent on it i'll tell you how that fits in i i got i got to wheel of time when i the last time i was on this podcast you guys were reading a book uh a really uh the lamp uh what is it the ones you're reading you guys reading lamp light diaries yes so i went to look that up and i found out like that they're still writing so i was like okay wait and then i went and i looked up another series and another series and i kept doing it and and like after we had this conversation i kept landing on wheel of Time and everyone's like Wheel of Time Wheel of Time and it was like okay so I bought the first book because I wanted to read fantasy after talking to you guys it always led me to Wheel of Time anyone that read what you guys were reading read Wheel of

Time also to an extent or something so I went and I checked it out and then I was like oh and it's gonna be on Amazon and I kind of like reading a book or do it, watching a movie, then reading the book and seeing the differences. I don't know why I like that, but I do. And so I read like the first half of Wheel of Time and then the show came out and it is like, it's like the way the whole thing works. And I kind of had a hard time reading the book uh at first uh until i was i i read this like a a prologue type thing and it's just like time always repeats the wheel of time it always

happens like life begins again life begins again but the last time that there was life it was broken by like the dragon like the ultimate like person like you person, basically magic got broken. And any man that uses magic will go crazy. And so all the females can use magic and may go hunting down any male magic user. But the dragon's going to come back and he could use magic. He'll fix the world. That's basically it. Okay. Is it good? I saw the the world. That's basically it. Okay.

Is it good? I saw the first few episodes when I watched it. I'm like, you know what? You got good actors. You're trying. You're spending money. So there's nothing wrong with it yet. Potentially.

I am interested. But it didn't start off with a brother and sister fucking like Game of Thrones did. And I think that's what really set things off on promotion. Have you listened to Bobaverse yet? The book series? No. Every so I mentioned on the show, it's probably been two years since I've said it.

It is the best book series ever written. Game of Thrones can suck a dick and it's not even finished. Lord of the Rings. I'm assuming that guy was a brand new author who hadn't written anything before. Bobaverse. Bobaverse is better than anything else it starts in current day you never told me about this no so the guy is a software engineer he sells his business and he pays for that um what is it called cryogenics or something when they like freeze your brain and hopefully

you come back in the future like incredibly wealthy with all these like time value money gains and and your whatever made you die now is easily curable and stuff like that so he wakes up in the distant future but that is not his reality his reality is that he comes back as kind of a computer program and they give these computer programs no respect they're like a lesser version of life the real people will bring them back give them shitty jobs and if they don't like it they'll just delete them and that so he has to prove that he is worthy of like this shitty job but he loves it the job is to like go out into space and replicate himself and form a new life and keep going and help his like little nation succeed in the universe and i'll stop there but he becomes like an ai yes and um i loved it not only it has the right level of sci-fi for me so um three body problem

for example now i multitask when i listen to it but there were times when i could barely understand my god 100 100 okay yeah they were my cognitive horsepower was just at red line they lost me with the fucking names i'm sorry it helps a little bit with audio because they have different voices and the voice actors did a great job. The names did throw me off. That guy's got an X in his name. All of a sudden,

these two guys have X's in their names. If they would just Americanize every fucking name, I'd go back to it. I own the book. So Bobiverse, on the other hand, does have some interesting sci-fi puzzles that you have to get but i could understand them all you know i was in my happy place great i don't think you ever talked about this because i've never searched this up before you told me about

this uh and it did sound really interesting it's it's a sad idea um there are plot twists and betrayals and like and this is you care about which is recent this series it's finished as well they started in 2016 okay um anyway i have i it's like um i got into audiobooks maybe it was three body problem that kicked it off again for me and i listened to a couple of them then i found babaverse and i have been chasing that high ever since i can't find you like audiobooks like it's so it's such a weird suggestion i don't know if you guys like superheroes as much as i do but i was uh listening to this one podcast called wolverine the long night and it's like a radio show style acted out like on apple podcasts i'm on the third episode and it's super great it's like from the perspective of detectives that are on the trail of what they think is like

murders that wolverine committed yeah and it's just really interesting hearing is it saber-toothed like it always is that's what all i'm thinking the whole time i'm listening they're like it's a bear attack i'm like come on but they're talking about like they go to like the doc and they talk to a doc worker and he's telling this story about this fucking short angry ugly motherfucker and you're kind of smiling the whole time because you're in on it you know wolverine so you're hearing him describe it and everyone's like that sounds fucking crazy but you're like oh that's the guy uh anyways, I don't know if you'd be into it. I listened to three episodes.

I'm totally going to finish it. It's great. I think I would like that because we had him on the show a long time ago. The film comics explained guy or maybe it's one of those guys who like goes over comic books. He's got that really good voice. I may be talking about the wrong one. I like those guys. I don't know which one it is either. But he breaks comic books down. He has like this really good voice. I may be talking about the wrong one. I like those guys. I don't know which one it is either.

But he breaks comic books down. He has like those hour-long videos. It's Comics Explained. That's the guy, yeah. I liked him a lot because I'd watch so many hours of his fucking videos. So much cheaper than buying comics. That and like whenever the Marvel stuff was like really kicking off like five, six years ago, I wanted to know more about the minutia of like all that nonsense.

And so I really got into his videos right now. I'm, um, I'm really hyped for the new season of Ozark. The trailer came out, I refused to watch it. And, uh,

cause like last season, if you don't remember how Ozark ended, it was a fucking mad house. It was fucking brains getting blown up, uh, into the yard and like like everybody being freaked the fuck out it was crazy you know i watched ozark season one i really loved it ozark season two came out i like put it on and i was like i don't remember anything and then i was

like i'm leaving and we disagree with you very much here we find season two to be superior to season one no i didn't even but i didn't remember anything i got there and i was like i forget everything from season one i had like what you do watch a wiki video five minutes that's a good trick in five minutes i preferred in in text format like i'll just sort of just in it takes a smart guy smart guy over here that doesn't make you smarter but uh you know i can just sort of feel it all right, right, right, right now I remember. And these are the different people's names. And then I can go and listen to season two. I think a lot of you guys say that season two was superior because I really enjoyed season one.

And I got there for season two. We did too. All I remember was like the bag of money with like the white trash people. And it was a great scene. And I really did stand out. I get very irritated when they use a laundry machine in money laundering like that's not what money laundering is we're trying to take illegally gotten gains and convince the government we got them through some valid source so you can

pay taxes that's what it has nothing to do with washers and dryers when when you've got counterfeit money they often will run it through um a dryer to wrinkle When you've got counterfeit money, they often will run it through a dryer to wrinkle it. Perhaps. Was this counterfeit money? I don't remember. But the reason that that is normally done is to rough the money up a little so it doesn't look like those new clean bills.

Yeah. So for people who don't know anything about money laundering, if you just show up with $3 million and deposit it in your bank account, the government is like, where did this come from? You've done something bad. On the other hand, like Breaking Bad, you can take some shitty cash business like Coin Laundry and show up with some stupid amount of gains and just be like, you know what? Laundry's kicking it. We make $600,000 a year out of it.

Start funneling your money from each one of these things. And then it gets into the bank in a more valid way. You pay your taxes on it and no one's looking at you for jail time. But you guys have to. It is the best show. It is currently in my books.

And if it continues this way, it will be the best show. It is on par with Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones at its peak for me. I cannot recommend it enough. Succession is so fucking good. It is so good. It is literally on HBO.

They're on season three. It looks like it might end season four, season five. It is hands down the best show. It is so good. I don't know anyone that I recommend. And I don't overhype shit because I'm like, whatever. I don't care if you don't watch it or whatever this i cannot recommend it enough to people listening and to yourselves i've said it before but succession is so good and it the quality of it has maintained up to this point also hard recommendation and before succession

airs there's a show called how to with john wil, which is really fucking weird. It's just a guy kind of mumbling into his camera while he documents bullshit around random things. I know that sounds like a terrible description. It should be a very, very, very bad show. It is also one of the funniest shows. How To With John Wilson by Succession. I can't recommend it enough. I really – I'll check that out.

I need you guys to watch Succession. I've heard very good things about Succession. Never pulled the trigger, though. Yeah, I'll look into it. Today I was watching that hockey show that you guys recommended to me and fucking loving that shit. What's it called? It's called Untold Crime and Penalties.

This is the story of an actual mob boss. Oh, I know this, yeah. Okay, he bought his 17-year year old son a minor league hockey team and and and when and you might think oh so the kid owns a hockey team but what does that even mean no he's like the general manager and the president so he picks the players he runs the fucking show and he picked like he's 17 and he likes wwe at his birthday party when he was 12 or 13 the rock was there he was this footage yeah did you see was there. He was. This footage of him. Did you see they had a WWE night at one point during their season,

and John Cena showed up to hold his belt? John Cena showed up. This is a show where they split time between the mob and the FBI, time between the mob and the fbi and then intermixed is like john cena triple h the rock um uh wayne gretzky's under brent bransky little brother and like all these other people palling around with mob the mob and it's it's just like oh okay i'd love to hear the rock tell this story like like i'd love to hear his you. You're liking it a lot so far, right? I'm digging it quite a bit. It's so funny.

I like how violent they are. I like how hard fucking core they are. I like how they pay them with envelopes and bags of money. And the players knew, right? The players are like, yeah, I got a check from the hockey team. And then another one from a waste management company. And another one from help me out taylor what were the other checks oh it was like like uh like a cleaning service waste management like a bunch of like bullshit like and it was like not just the players on these payrolls their wives were getting checks for it

they're like if they had an adult child they also worked there it was just money laundering through a minor league team and like to to the fighting point i've never seen so much blood on the ice i've never seen they did well i mean like to your point like like it was like opening game or like like like they're about to drop the puck for the first time of the year and the fucking mob boss calls down and tells like one of their new players as soon as they drop that fucking puck you drop your glove you take that guy the fuck out and he's like he's like so what of course you know i was just looking for a i was looking for a mother he had just given me a duffel bag of cash and so i decided to do everything he says yeah so so he just beats the shit out of some rent like like he i guess somehow he got the guy to tell him to go fuck himself and he's like yeah

then it was on and there's a video of all this shit and he beats the fuck out of this man in front of everybody and then as he's like skating off the ice he like points up to the mob boss like yeah i got him for you it's hilarious and like even the the gm slash president like the son of the guy like so much of the documentary is just because he was walking around with a cam quarter like the entire time and like the the there was one guy on the posing team who pulled a real dirty bullshit move that that broke the leg of one of the uh the danford trashers uh and this other player came back in town and like in what is like very uncouth the guy's sitting at his bench like dreading playing this game because this guy's not an enforcer he doesn't even want to be there he's playing minor league

for a real team and the the president this the the gm is taking a camera right to that crack between the glass. And he's going, you got a real pretty face. It's going to be a shame. It's going to be a shame. Come on, give me a smile. Give me a smile with that pretty face. Come on. And that guy's sitting there horrified, knowing that the second he steps on the ice, the Nigerian nightmare is going to beat him to death.

The Nigerian nightmare is awesome to beat him to death. The Nigerian nightmare is awesome. That guy's so funny. Like the 17-year-old mob boss's son is like, yeah, so I got all these tapes from talent. And I saw this one that said the Nigerian nightmare. And that caught my attention. So I was like, I'm going to watch this one first. And then it cuts to this guy.

I was the first Nigerian to ever play in the NHL. My parents didn't want to let me play. My mom tried to get me into figure skating. This was my calling. This is one moment where like he's talking about like after they cheap shot the guy. He's like, so, you know, then I went in and I did what I did. It's great. I've never seen him beat up multiple opponents in a hot oh yeah he like

to beat someone up and then skate to the next closest guy and beat them up but like the nigerian nightmare as a human clearly he clearly matured a lot throughout like the time since then and so he's like almost like looking somber like yeah and then i then I just... You can watch the footage. I did what I did. You know what? My actions speak for themselves. I'd rather not address it. You can just roll the tape. I know you're going to. The fact is...

Let me go for a second. You talked about the camcorder thing, and that's great, because the pretty face guy, he's coming back, and everyone knows he's going to have to face the music for hurting this player. I'll call it a few months earlier. And everybody knows, including the broadcasting crew. So as soon as the fight begins, it cuts off.

It says technical difficulties and it plays some elevator music. And they're like, yeah yeah the broadcast crew cut it so the only people that know what happened are the people that were there and the people that saw my personal cam are you gonna oh you gotta tell you gotta and then it comes on wrecking the guy i'm like you've got the footage and you're showing it to me it's so like i i don't know if you guys have ever been to a minor league hockey game i i went to in like a few echl games which is a big deal, this hockey team. Like, it's NHL, and then this. This is, like, four steps below. I thought that's what it was when you initially described it.

I thought this was, like, beer league type thing. Yeah, some bullshit team. This is, like, minor league hockey. It is an embarrassment to the game to the to like the the commissioner of the league or whatever point and he said he's like i told him you know if you embarrass me or the team or the league or hockey at all in general i'm gonna come down on you and it's like and then you know they just embarrassed me for like a year or two straight and i didn't really do anything about it because you know oh one of the the best for funniest parts is like the equipment man the uh oh the the equipment manager is the most people

the the most mobbed up dude in the league t-bones his name and he he genuinely he would go into other teams locker rooms they go to the commissioner and they're like the equipment manager. Never in the history of the league or any league or the history of hockey. Have we had to suspend an equipment manager before they find and suspended the equipment manager? Because Taylor, because he would go into opposing teams, locker rooms prior to the game starting and he would steal the goalie equipment and so then the goalie would be like i i don't i don't know where my stuff is it was here and they'd be like well we have a loner set of horrible pads that you can wear and he did that multiple times he's being interviewed about it they're like do you know anything about you know goalies having their equipment stolen he's like taking a puff on a cigar like,

that'd be really unprofessional, wouldn't it? That'd be wildly inappropriate. The other team has, I don't know, 30 players on it. How many people are on the hockey team? 25 players? Yeah, 24 or so. They gave them

six paper-thin towels for 24 players to share and then this is the most fightful part that sounds bad we don't have endless towels that doesn't sound up to code right that's gotta be wrong

somebody just counted those first two things it's like oh that actually might make it difficult to win a hockey game the last thing he did was just spite he would turn off the hot water this is the shower they're taking before they go home the game is done this is spite letting the air out of their tires in the parking lot the goddamn game it's game. It's very uncouth to put threatening messages in visiting teams' walls and stuff.

I think at one point, he or someone else wrote like, welcome to hell, as on the banner of the opposing team's locker room. And what I liked is that they weren't just a bunch of bruisers. Like, the kid as a GM did a tremendous job. The team was winning. They were winning more games than they were losing.

It is important to note the salary capped only. It's not a cat affected every team, but this guy, yes, he had unlimited money to put together his all-star team. There was an NHL lockout. So they're like, we need a goal scorer.

And I remembered, there was an nhl lockout so they're like we need a goal scorer and i remembered i really like this guy who scored the game-winning goal for the nhl stanley cup finals yeah so we got him and they just paid him with duffel bags of money oh they did it was a guy like he's there i love that's what i love in documentaries and shit like this because it's one thing to say and then donald trump walked in if they don't i mean if they cut then and Donald Trump is there on tape, you're like, oh, shit. Let's hear his side of it. So then I walked in. Yeah.

If they do that with this, they're like, so. And they show this guy's fucking hockey card. What's the name of it again? They show ABC footage of the NHL finals and this guy winning the cup. And then they just cut to him sitting in a chair as part of this whole documentary and he's like i mean they offered me so much goddamn money and like and then they should like the guy's name is mike rup he scored i think like the 2003 stanley cup winning goal for the devils and the guy was like i i liked mike rup i remember being

a devils fan and so i thought let's sign mikeupp. And a guy who's a career NHLer, and they signed this guy, and he's a center. In his NHL career, he only had 99 points in 610 games. That's a fourth-line guy, not that impressive, a grinder probably. Then it shows highlights of a true blue nhler in this league and he's dangled like he looks like a fucking all-star and it's so unfair to like the fucking manchester monarchs or whatever the fuck other team where they're like we can't we couldn't afford to give mike rup double bags of cash and he's scoring three on us in a game if i were a viewer i'd want the name of the show in the scroll what What was it again? It is Untold Crime and Penalties.

The name of the series is Untold. If you go on Netflix and you literally just search hockey, it's the first result. It's a really entertaining... It's like an hour and a half. I'm not done with it. Yeah, I'm not done with it. I think one of the last things that I saw

was the part where they have broken the man's leg and found out where the player lives and where his family works and shit. And they have asked the man whose leg is broken, like, hey, how do you want us to handle this? They're asking if they want them to go after this player in the real world and get him and hurt him somehow. It's crazy. Ooh, I love that. Yeah. We didn't tell us they're like hey you know we got uh we got his home address you need anything done you you tell us how you want to handle this and it's just like whoa wait wait i i understand this code yeah he's offering to murder another

player yeah and then it goes to the guy and he and he and he says the camera and like whatever the bad guy's name is who had injured him he's like you better be glad i kept it on the ice you bitch like yeah you better because like tony soprano was sending some boys to your house to fucking knock you off that's the other thing this guy's great but this is literally Tony Soprano. Oh, yeah. And then I've told Kyle this, but for the audience, the ending, which I won't spoil,

I'll only say they do a real nice job of sort of putting a button on it. There's a period at the end of the sentence. You find out how this happens. I'll even do this. They do a current sort of get the gang together and talk sort of party yeah i recommend it um i think we all do real good show um you don't need to like

hockey at all to enjoy it because i don't um but i really like this i like the mob and i like ridiculous fucking stories like it this was a bit of a national news story as far as sports stories go because someone gave a 17 year old-old a fucking minor league sports team. It was insane. I want credit. If you guys like this, viewers, this one was Woody's find. It was. I would never have found this if not for you, and I absolutely loved it. It was one of the best.

Just like Woody had history rewritten on Taylor earlier, this is a Kyle find. Let's give this one to Arnold. I get credit if you write Succession, Woody. You get credit for Succession.

I wrote it down. I know I'm interested. I'm pretty sure Zach told us about this. It's so complex. Zach didn't tell you shit! That's a Zach show. That is a Zach show. The GM president, 17-year-old kid, he seems like a bit of a

shithead through a lot of it because he's 17 the spitting chiclets my favorite podcast it's a hockey show a couple of ex-nhlers and another guy they had this guy on a few days ago and i listened to the whole episode and he's like genuinely the most humble, kindest guy now where they're like, were there any concerns about you? Like looking like an asshole for being a kid. He's like, I was a kid, you know,

kids do all sorts of silly things. I watch it too and cringe a little bit, but it was a great time in my life. I had a wonderful time doing it. I wish it lasted long. And it's like, Oh, you can't dislike this guy at all.

He's and he kept like referring to stories. They're like, what, what about like the, all the money under the table? He's like, oh, you can't dislike this guy at all. And he kept referring to stories. They're like, what about all the money under the table? He's like, a lot of things were alleged. They alleged that we bought houses for all of them on a communal property that was intentionally made to keep people from being requisitioned by authorities. Who's to say? Who's to say what happened and then he's a it's a hilarious i'll tell you who's not to say i'll tell you not to ever say anything oh we didn't talk about this

on this show but that so they go around he's in like second grade this is aj the guy who eventually becomes president and gm and they're talking about like value systems and stuff, things they learned over the summer. And some kids are like, I learned to be nice. I learned not to bully other people. And he's like me. I learned, uh,

I learned never be a rat. The lowest thing you can be. That's how you do friends, betraying your family, being a rat. And it's like, you're nine. You shouldn't be ratting on anyone because you

shouldn't know anything to rat all the time they're not trustworthy not this one though yeah he had it down i hated those kids the tattletales did you ever get tattled on in high school or middle school grade school yeah yeah there's always somebody to fucking rat you out and tell somebody what you were up to, what you had in your locker. I got tattled on because I put glue all over a kid named Michael's seat in kindergarten. I came in from recess early

and in my head, I thought that bullshit stick glue would be enough to glue him to his seat and I'm like doing that before everybody else comes in. And then he ended up sitting sitting in it and like i kept like waiting like he's gonna stand up and it's gonna bring the whole desk with him and no he stood up he just kind of peeled off of it and there was a bunch of glue on his ass and then like some girl named britney was like i came in to go to the

bathroom and i saw taylor doing it and i was like britney you cunt you absolute cunt i didn't do you can't prove this that was like a few days after i got in trouble on the first day of kindergarten for saying penis because apparently penis was a bad word and like the the teacher took me out in the hallway i was like that is not the kind of language we use and i was like penis my mom told me to say it probably the hallway and was like, that is not the kind of language we use. And I was like, penis? My mom told me to say penis. And she was like, don't say penis anymore, Taylor. Stop looking me in the eyes and saying penis.

You're nine. Maybe you need to stop touching my penis. Or maybe I'll have to tell someone about it. Maybe somebody is accused of molesting me. or maybe i'll have to tell someone about it maybe maybe somebody's always my buddy my buddy my buddy was a troublemaker in in class and like one time the teacher got up and left and he went and this is like the ninth grade he went and put a thumbtack on his chair yeah and like sat back down but no one in class would say anything and he went the teacher came and sat down and like screamed so loud who's so loud the teacher the yeah my buddy put it on the teacher so far and he walked right over to my buddy and grabbed

goes come with me and i wasn't there for this part but he brought him to the office and apparently called the police and the police came and they were like so what happened here he was like he assaulted me with a weapon he he he attacked me with a thumbtack what a bitch my buddy was like no i didn't no i didn't he's like yes you did he's like no i didn't they're like sir what happened they're like he put a thumbtack on my seat and i sat on it and got hurt and they're like well how do you know it's him and he's like because i saw him and my buddy was like well if you saw me then why did you sit on the seat they're like you could go that's a that's a tremendously quick line for a young kid yeah he's in the ninth grade he's still one of my good buddies he's pretty he's a pretty sharp guy in the pathway like that. Someone did that to me in ninth grade.

All it did was really. Who was he? Was it him? Did he go to my school? There was a girl. She was pretty. Like I would have dug her. And I don't know. Like she used to pick at me every so often.

Like I don't know. Bother me while I was sitting and such. And in my head I was always like. Is there a chance that she's giving me this attention because she likes me or is it the more likely scenario that she hates me she's trying to punish your ass she put a thumb jack on my chair and when i got back i didn't know it was there and it just so happens i kind of like sat on my leg like you ever do that to sort of put one sideways and it went into like the side of my calf

and i was and it was destroyed immediately i i pulled it out and i knew it was her i forget how maybe her reaction to it and uh it was just like oh like that it hurt my feelings hurt my feelings that someone picked on me that that is that is mean i don't like that. I'm thinking sophomore year of high school, chemistry class, you know, those big like black mat, like flat desks you almost always get with like two people sitting there in a science classroom as opposed to like normal desks. shit next to me and she would always fall asleep and her hair would get all over my side of the desk because she was falling asleep and we were in the front the very front row and mr whatever he would he really disliked her and i got i i told her multiple times like if you're gonna sleep sleep with your head with your face facing me so that your hair is in the other direction like so that it's not all over my side and after many times of this i had a red sharpie in my bag and i drew on her blonde hair a ton of red sharpie and the teacher saw me and

kept being like and we're also learning we're learning about chemical bonds and he saw me doing this and like she woke up and it wasn't until she woke up that i realized like how insane what i had been doing was because she sits up and there's just streaks of red in her hair and i was like oh i could actually probably get in trouble for this so i i didn't say anything it wasn't until like later that day i believe that kylie or whoever was coming up to me and was like taylor did you draw all over my hair i was like i don't even did we sit next to each other taylor was it on my side of the desk because that's my drawing property as far as i'm concerned i think i didn't get in trouble the guy that he thought he

was laughing his ass off he loved because he hated kylie when i was a teacher i like went to the like i was like walking by the desks or whatever and it was like the final the final class today is the first class tomorrow and like i'm going like putting all the chairs on the desk and there is a huge fat swastika on the desk like a thick one like a thick boy thick black perfect perfectly executed um i'm like man it looks good and uh i was like if this were only the hindu symbol for peace and love or whatever the fuck and i'm looking at him like this is a big deal right so anyways the day, I go right to that kid who sits at that desk, and I was like, why did you put this on the desk?

He's like, I didn't put this here. I take his pencil case, I open it up, and the only thing in there is a Sharpie this thick. It's like, the only thing, and it's the biggest Sharpie I've ever seen in my life. It was like a fat sharpie.

And it's like, I take it out and I like literally hold it up to the, it's like the perfect width. And I'm like, okay, you gotta go to the principal's office. Do you remember what happened to him? Yeah.

Did he get in trouble? I don't care. Okay. I never, I never saw, I never saw swastikas but i would see the superman symbol carved in desks constantly like that yeah you know that one i don't think of that as a superman it's like an angular s when i found out that swastikas were hard for people to do i was like y'all bang a swastika right here i'm'm like, I'll do it. I drew swastikas.

Yeah, I could do that. When you were a kid, there was something good about nailing a good swastika. Yeah. I remember the S thing. The S thing that it's like, yeah, the S thing. Number two to swastikas. Do the points face to the right or to the left on the swastika? I put them on the diagonal.

I put them on the diagonal. I put them on the diagonal. Everybody likes it. That gets everybody going. When you put a diagonal swastika, everybody's like, oh, shit. That's a high skill level swastika. That man means it. You want people to look at it like this. Like, yeah, he did it. That guy really doesn't like Jews.

I mean, I would imagine it has to be one of the easiest symbols to draw. No, people fuck that up all the time. A thing of stars. How do you fuck up a swastika? People fuck up swastikas all the time. I can see you putting it in the wrong direction. No, no, they don't understand what they're doing.

They end up drawing L's and Z's and stuff. I've seen it a lot. You see a lot of fucked up swastikas you see when i was a teacher i saw more messed up swastikas than i saw legit ones well that's why when i saw a big one i was like my boy i was like my boy over here knows how to make a swastika not his first when you know i'm like you're coming with me you did this swastika you're coming with me and i brought him to enriched art class i'm like we got a good one over here he's got to be directed in a good way but he's got talented potential but when i watch top gear episodes the the car show and they're based in india for like their specials

almost huge amounts of cars have swastikas on the back because over there it's like like a symbol of like peace and prosperity like that's the original symbol and so like you see all these cars and it's like there's a lot of knots oh wait no they that's not fair they were using this thousands of years before before hitler took it and they don't feel like he took it though like here he did but in india they don't think of it that way like it's i think they're all being it's a billion people trying to be edgy it'd be like if a piece of shit like used the star like on our flag as like his main emblem of hate like we wouldn't see stars differently see what kyle did white power symbol oh the okay they prompt they co-opted it i use that word right i'm taking taking it back. Porch Monkey 2.

You're bringing them all, just like the guy in what is it called? Clerks. Clerks. Clerks. Yeah, Clerks 2. Those are the only good movies Kevin Smith's made. I happen to like Tusk and Yoga Hosers. You would like Tusk. Tusk was

upsetting. I was watching something the other night and I was flipping through the channel and I'm like that boy Harley's in that wait you're in Tusk? yeah I'm in Tusk and in Yoga Hosers and a Halloween

short that he did is Kevin Smith cool as hell? he really is he's a really cool guy Jersey baby he seems like a cool guy I like Red State I remember he did Red State and I watched that movie He really is. He's a really cool guy. Jersey baby. He seems like a cool guy. I like how... I like Red State. I remember he did Red State and I watched that movie and I was like, this was weird.

I didn't think it was going to be like this, but I really liked it. There was one he did. I wish I could remember the name of it. They like Eiffel Tower, the girl, the main character girl in it. He was... Zack and Mary? I'm not sure.

I don't think it was the wake of porno. The guy and girl are dating and the guy finds out the girl has a sexual history that's much more exploratory than his. I remember they had this argument and the dialogue was really well written. One of Kevin Smith's strengths. She's like, I'm sorry.

I didn't come with a sexual instruction book like most people did i'm trying to figure all this out and um from the guy's perspective you know two guys fucked her at the same time and did the high five thing and this is someone maybe it was chasing amy i think thank you zach it was chasing amy from his perspective you know she had been kind of used in a way that you know he cherished her and she had done this before she she met him and from her perspective it's like i was working my way through life that had nothing to do with you i didn't know you lived yet and it was neat to see the dialogue they crushed it so good kevin

smith movie just the um what's the one where they're angels? Dogma. Dogma's pretty good. I like that one. I'm taking it back. Clerks and Clerks 2 were good. Dogma was good. And Chase and Amy were good. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is very good and very ahead of the time.

It talks about internet and shit. You know what? You get an early Will Ferrell a little bit before he fully popped. He's the guard. He's the guard with the blowjob. He is 11 on 10 in that movie.

I'll tell you this right now. If you go watch Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back deleted scenes, Will Ferrell, it is some of the best improv you've ever seen. I don't know how he chose lines from this movie from Will Ferrell. He fucking nailed it. And then in Yoga Hosers, that guy

from Epic Mealtime gets killed with a sausage going in his ass. If you ever have the time to watch that one. I haven't watched Yoga Hosers yet. I'll need to check out Yoga Hosers. Hopefully no big... Don't spoil it for us. Yoga Hosersers i hope you can keep getting movie parts that would be so funny if you became like a movie star yeah it's gonna get that i died by things going in my ass apparently in movies that's what happens i've died in like almost everything i've been and i was in dead rising

that video game and you died yeah i was in the movie for that you made it through what was the high school video game tv show video game high school oh yeah i didn't die in that video game high school three i i'm in the game and i die in the game spoiler alert so i kind of died there too nice he plays the principal and harley steals every scene he's he does the thing that harley does so well where he's like bigger than light i don't know how he just expands and owns a room you know he talks a little louder and there seems to be this impenetrable self-confidence he's not thinking about what people are thinking about him delivering the lines he's just being that guy and you can see it and i thought you

did great thank you great for an thank you there was well that that what was funny about that is like i'm the principal of this high school where there are students but we're all friends like that are the same age like they're students and i'm the adult and i'm just it's just like one of those things where i'm like i do look much older than all of you i guess and also i'm taller so people will associate that with age and authority yeah that's actually probably part of the casting wait are you six four Are you 6'4"? I think he's 6'6". Oh, he does. Yeah, I'm 6'6". 6'6". Oh, you know what?

I actually started boxing for the last month. Oh, that's awesome. I'm a boxer. How old are you now? 36. Okay. No, you still got it. You still got it.

That's cool. I like when I watch these news things or whatever, like boxing reports of like sports they're like he's so brave he's coming out here at 34 years old one last shot at glory and i'm like damn son yeah i remember going to that phase yeah i remember seeing lebron and being like i'm older than this guy i'll be like 37 they're like he's a medical miracle to still be out there competing at 35 literally and now i go i go boxing and i train boxing multiple times every day and they're like what's it for and i'm like just in case a youtuber boxing thing goes that's where

my career is at that if there's gonna be a youtuber boxing event i gotta i gotta get in there it'd be on the undercard no there are hundreds of dollars to be made for unfortunately i don't have three figures i have to fight i have to fight someone who's like six five three hundred pounds no no you don't it's not what you want no it's not I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but I heard Jenna Marbles talking shit about you. What'd she say? She said I could beat him up in a sanctioned boxing match. Did she fucking say that? She said that.

She did. And she said you're a bitch and a pussy, and she doesn't like you. So it seems like a natural little break. Going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors real quick. CBD isn't about what you feel. It's about what you don't feel. Stress, anxiety, pain, and feels is a way better way to feel better.

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off all products in your first order, including the gum or lozenges. First of all, nailing the inflection on the CO. Second, I don't think there was a stutter in that whole thing. You read on like a high school level or better. Oh, thank you so much. I pride myself as being a 30-year-old who can read at a 16-year-old level. You're crushing it, Taylor. Crushing it. And this episode also brought to you by these wonderful sweaters we're wearing.

Very high quality they're knit they're they're nice they're they're warm uh if i'm being honest they're too warm for sitting here right now but they feel very nice i had a very nice shirt for tonight it was it and and i was forced to wear this uh by taylor he said if he was going to sweat his balls off, then so was I. And you are. It is definitely an ugly sweater. I will say this about it, like no joke. It's super fucking warm,

and it actually is like a knitted sweater. It's nice quality. If you need an ugly sweater, get our ugly sweater. Otherwise, maybe buy the hat. And you can check out the scarf. Kyle's not as into it as i am i'm teasing no i feel lucky to own it i have mine well i'm not gonna lie to you i like the hat i like the sweater a lot and if you have an ugly sweater contest the sweater makes a ton of sense but where's mine you fucking idiot you wear this to school they're gonna rape you in the ass

harley if you want i can slip you a link where you can buy one. I don't think you're going to buy one. You're going to hook him up like that, Woody? Is Zach buying one? I stole Kyle's line. If he wants one, that's how he'll get one. The hats are super nice. I love the hats. I can't wear it now because I have headphones on.

The hats are very nice. The scarf is very nice. I expect a Hanukkah Christmas very nice let me just say this the dhl lady who delivered this motherfucker didn't want to give it to me like i was like my sleep shell was crazy so at like 2 p.m when the doorbell rang i was a little groggy and i was like yeah she's like i've got a package for mr myers and i'm like yeah are you mr myers and i'm like. What is your first name? And I'm like, Alan. If I wasn't so curious about what was in that fucking package,

because I had no idea what it was, I would have taken it to a silly place. But I told her the truth, and she gave me the fucking thing. But she looked back at me as she was walking away, and I swear to God, she thought I had strangled the real Kyle so I could get my hands on one of these ugly sweaters apparently i was i was surprised what a stupid bitch i hate her i hate her you know what else i can't say that what you know you know oh okay now i do it's atlanta yeah check out the sweaters check out anyway anyway racism aside

if you need an ugly sweater i was right get yourself one of these we have lock and load left to go they were hawking over here and look i mean let me just say this and we've got lock i am so proud of Locke and Logue. We are, of course. It was mostly my doing, but Kyle's proud anyway. I'm very proud of Woody. And, you know, everybody's proud of Woody. And Harley.

Harley's to thank. For creating Locke and Logue. But Jackie's the one who really took the brunt. Me and Jackie, mostly. Mostly, mostly. So thanks to her and Woody for this amazing product. We are sold out right now. The shots that hit my poor wife.

I mean, it looks like we played paintball. She's bruised. Just welts. She's got broken skin from the comb jack. It's rough. She wears goggles now. Yeah, full face shield. No, but yeah. It'll be back in stock very soon very soon be checking that link uh put it at the top priority of production or something

like that i guess yeah yeah there's and you know what gotta be honest folks none of us anticipated have this 10,000 bottles tens of thousands tens of thousands I was like oh well I mean he's not a very good businessman because we'll never sell that many and then a few weeks later they're gone this time it's 20,000 when he said the initial order number of bottles

I'm like oh no this is what are we going to do just have you have a warehouse, a storage container full of gumpills? I was a little concerned that he had purchased 10,000 bottles, but clearly that was the appropriate amount.

Clearly he didn't buy enough. He should have bought 15,000 bottles at least initially. What a fool Derek is, clearly. That's what he likes to say. Something I would also say to his face. Something I would

say to his face. If Derek were here right now, you know what I'd say? It goes unspoken. I'd say, get out of my house. When he goes after Derek in private, he takes it to such a personal place that I'm just not comfortable being in those conversations. I try to withdraw.

I grab the blue shirt from the closet and let him have it. I mean, I can't say that either. God damn it. What are you thinking? They're all slurs. It's probably funny, whatever you're saying.

They're all slurs. That's the worst, when you're like, oh, this is a great joke I don't want my life ruined though would it be worth it for the walls? probably not I like this sweater I'm comfortable I have the AC down to 64

but I'm happy right now this thing is toasty I'm not going to lie to you it's a warm sweater because it's actually knit it's not some bullshit. Because it's actually knit. It's not some bullshit printed thing. It's knit. Anyway, buy our cum pills. I'm sorry, but can I derail you about the cum pills? Please do. We have turned down

a few merch ideas because we didn't want PKA stamped on garbage. And when these sweaters rolled in, I was like, this is what I'm talking about. This is where we're supposed to be. We aspire to do better. Yeah.

But sometimes it falls short. I think people would be surprised by the amount of stuff we've said straight up no to. Where it's like, no, that's trash. That's garbage. It looks like shit. It's going to wash out in two seconds. People aren't going to like it. No.

I googled the reviews on this. Here's some guy who washed his sweater hoodie whatever six times and this is what it looks like now we're not putting our I am not going to have fucking PKA washed off and peeling on a hoodie and have that be our especially now that we have this super

high anchor point of lock and load so buy our cum pills cum like a man you're going to enjoy it. So there you go. I'm telling you, if you got the one that's dribbly ass cum shots,

first of all, kill yourself. Second of all, wait, don't kill yourself yet. Buy our pills. Wait, don't kill yourself yet.

I mean, even if they have a little dribbly load, it's still going to erupt. Can I change the topic? I wanted to talk about that awful thing. We we had our 50 hangouts the other night um uh we got them wrapped up for the month of uh what was it november yeah um good month november uh had a great time had a few extra people this month um we we uh i don't know those guys are always so bizarre woody hushed quite a

few people. I always like that. Woody's getting more and more ruthless in the Hangouts. It's the three of us plus 22 fans. Everybody wants to talk, right? Some more than others. Everybody does a lot of drugs in these things because they're usually Sunday afternoon or

Tuesday evening. Tuesday evening, Prime getting fucked up. Tuesday evening and our fan base is like, Tuesday evening, Prime getting fucked up. Tuesday evening, three of them were all manufacturing DMT to get to send smoking it together. It's like, you guys are just fucking degenerates.

I like our degenerates. I love our degenerates. You don't like them all. It's real funny. I don't either. I'm not trying to be like, Woody hates a few of them. I don't know what his problem all. It's real funny. I don't either. I'm not trying to be like, yeah, Woody hates a few of them. I don't know what his problem is. It's not like that. If you don't get belittled by me at least a little, you haven't gotten your value worth.

I'm trying to find our messages from during it because occasionally I'll single two or three other guys out and pick on their appearance really ruthlessly and private. I would never do that to your face or anything, but some of y'all are fucking weird looking. Did y'all see that one motherfucker? Don't describe him.

I know exactly who you're talking about. You saw him, right? Yeah. Oh my god! Dude. He had a unique look. So there was a guy in the hangout who was like a freak show, and nobody addressed it. Nobody made fun of him or anything, but clearly someone needed to put an end to him at birth.

And, and like, I was like, I started laughing and shit, but I didn't say a word. Like you could just see me like, like cover my face and like laughing for no apparent reason. And one of the guys in the hangout fucking goes,

types to me privately, Kyle, are you laughing at that? And I'm like, yes, I am laughing at that. Holy fucking shit. Do you see da-da-da-da-da?

And there's one of those in every fucking Hangout, and Woody snaps on somebody at every Hangout without fail, and I love it. Don't miss it. Sign up for the Patreon. I love it. Woody, yell that yourself. Woody hushed a grown man.

I did that on the show a few weeks ago, and I really regret it. I was. What happened was, somehow it was incredibly important to me to give this investment advice. When your kid has a christening, use that money to start the college fund. And I could not get the floor. And I didn't want the topic to just roll onto something else and instead of saying like i wish i had guys guys this is important and then everyone would have let me talk i said hush and i'm like what are you an asshole stop

that was not the move that was not the move and I apologize. Have you been hushing kids in your real life? No. God damn it. Woody, Woody. He was giving you an out. Yes, yes. I'm sorry. When someone asks you if you're a guy, you say yes.

Kyle serves up the ultimate out on a silver platter. I'm like, no, I got mine. When I was streaming, people were coming into my stream. They're like, yo, Harley, next time you go on PK, you got to hush Woody. And I was like, why? They're like, you got to. That's the thing now. He hushed people.

That would be completely appropriate. I deserve it. The time before that, they're like, Harley, you got to call people Sons of Monkeys on PKA. I was like, why? Have I ever explained? Dude, have I talked about that on the show, the Sons of Monkey thing? We all read you loud and clear.

Zach said I already told this story. Yeah, yeah. In fast forward, we say that in my family for like 20 years now. Decades I've heard that. I thought it was a... All the way back to the 1800s if you know what I mean. It's like what we would call

a curse word substitute. Like when someone says fudge or something. That's what it is in my head. Or their pants are nice and low. A black man, a son of a monkey. And then I realized what I did afterwards. I can still remember

the eye contact Kyle and I made through the webcast. To me, that was like shucks. Like the most innocent. It was just dag nabbit. Here's the problem with that though. First of all, he's completely innocent. This was not a racist thing.

Of course. However. Oh, no. I know where this is headed. We don't have a lot of black guests. We don't have a lot of female guests. As far as, forgive me if I'm leaving someone out, but off the top of my stoned head,

because I just did a bunch of Delta 8 in the other room, we've got like two black guests on rotation, and we don't see them too often. There's Adrian Foster, former NFL player, real chill guy, and there's Wolf, our paintball guy. Same thing. Interesting fellow. Travels the country. I know. He's a chill guy.

Super chill guy. Love the dude. Me too. He was having a conversation with Arian Foster, and I believe the joke that Woody made, which was so fucking funny. I think it was with Wolf. Am I wrong about that? Oh, did you double up on Wolf? No, you're right.

You doubled up on Wolf, because if you'd done this to Adrian, we'd have had a meltdown. What he said to Wolf was... What he said to Wolf was... The Wolf said my parents ran away or something like that or my dad wasn't present or i didn't know my dad and i made a banger joke of oh that's right i forgot you were black that's a good line but this is taken out of context we have to have the context that

woody told me that he didn't like black people because they bullied him in college. I thought you were going to help me. He said he didn't like serving up his house. I'm like, last time I'm taking it. I don't know what he's about to say, but I'm agreeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he said they didn't like you in college. Woody's always saying they're not even people.

Judging them by our standards is fair to them. God damn it. You people are the real racists judging these poor colors by the standards of fair to them. God damn it. You people are the real racist judging these poor colors by the standards of a white man, as Woody says. That would be a really funny woke guy to be. Who's like really woke,

but he's like, you can't hold non-whites to a white standard. What are you, racist? And it's like, I think you, oh God, that would be such a funny burner Twitter account to make. If you did it just right you could like the woke racist you were like they expect let me they expect a black man to just get an education can you they expect a black man to work a job for who this is who do you want he to work this is white supremacy just keep going

down that line. That's fucking hilarious. And your only defense when people call you on your shit is, what are you, a Nazi? Terrible idea. This is almost as bad of an idea as my Spider-Man meets Night Tail movie that I came up with the other day when I was stoned. Yeah. I mean, that was really disjointed.

I like that movie idea. I was only joking just now when i said it was bad because i thought you were back you were like no it was great i've been no i saw what you're doing god damn it no it wasn't your idea you're eight pages in how many pages do you need for a movie 100 100 have you seen like that simpsons where homer writes a script and they're like well usually mr simpson these. Simpson, these are 100, 110 pages long. Yours is six pages long and many of these are just coffee and donut stands. No, that's not true.

It's a good movie. That's a good answer. If there is one thing that I would like to attempt to do because I'm so into it but I have no where to begin. It would be to write a screenplay. I think that would be a really... or to be part of it in some way. What would your genre be? God damn it, I told you my movie. I didn't. You just shit all over me.

I don't know. I like dialogue though. I would like to write dialogue. But like a thriller? Suspense? Oh, I don't know the honest answer is is lame because a vampire movie it's just people sitting no it would probably be some sort of series it would probably be some sort of like gangster drama type thing i don't know it'd be it'd be which is really lame like a scorsese kind of no it's exactly what christopher

vimolta zanti's lame ass wants to write about like like like you know what i mean um but but i do like i do like that well anybody can do it better he can't spell um but but yeah that that would be that does interest me a little bit but but but i i gotta get my knight's tale meet spider-man idea off the ground first like like that's you want to lead with your strongest idea. Yeah. That's going to get a lot of interest in my brand. How about like a movie Spider-Man and he's Jamaican? It doesn't technically break copyright law. He travels by bobsled. Just stopping normal crimes.

Tries to get rid of weed in Jamaica. One of the episodes is him valiantly fighting back against copyright infringement attorneys trying to take him down. It's a totally different character. You know.

Yeah, I'm Jamaican and I'm shooting spiderwebs. That doesn't mean that it's not. Yeah, I'm Jamaican and I'm shooting spiderwebs. That don't mean that is not the... Yeah, sure, I have an Aunt May and an uncle. Sure, I also fought Bone Crusher in the... The more I'm talking about... Yeah, I'm probably guilty

of this. It was actually Bonesaw. Bonesaw. Bonesaw is ready. I got you for three minutes. And then as a product of its time,

Tobey Maguire makes a gay insult to the macho man, Randy Savage, and something about his husband at home or something like that. Not very woke. I would like it if when they do the multiverse, if Tobey Maguire was of his time, he was an early 2000s Spider-Man,

so he was a little racist and maybe didn't understand trans stuff. I'd like that. No one understood trans stuff back then. No, no. Least of all us. It wasn't like that. No one understood trans stuff back then. No. Least of all us. It wasn't a thing. No. I'm looking forward to that movie actually.

The multiverse Spider-Man movie with all the different Spider-Men. That's interesting to me. This is a real movie you're talking about? Yeah. What they've been doing recently in like the whole like marvel multiverse thing you know because they got the tv shows and the movies is like um they've kind of been teasing this thing where there is a multiverse there are there are multiple

universes where things are slightly different and that's how you get and that's how they're going to explain why we've had three different actors play spider-man since 2000 and so they're going to have this this event where the universes are merging and you've got different variants of spider-man all in one universe so that allows them to take toby mcguire andrew garfield and the current spider-man and bring them together into one movie fighting like bunches of villains and have like a really crazy spider-man movie at tom holland he's the current one um which i i don't know i i really hope they don't fuck it up because it sounds like such a fucking cool idea especially if they get like a bunch of the old villains like if they get jamie foxx to fucking come back and be the shocker or whatever he's back i can tell you right now have you seen jamie foxx lately have you seen his physique no it's good is he

jacked now? He's playing fucking Mike Tyson. So he's been working out for like three fucking years to play Mike Tyson. He's gargantuan. He looks like Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson. Good for him. Will Smith looked like...

I like when I see people get jacked. He did Muhammad Ali, right? And it worked out pretty well. Yeah. Will Smith posted like a dad bod picture the other day. I can't remember who I was talking about. Wait, pause on that. Are you sure it was the other day or was it a few months ago?

Because he's done a pretty impressive body transformation, Will Smith. What kind of phone is that? This is a very old picture this is from like two years ago the one on the left is so why is the phone from 20 years ago i i don't know maybe i don't know that but but um i'm sure like on his instagram or something maybe like i saw a picture of him like standing like in a yard shirtless with a hat on like the hat was like obscuring his face i happen to have that picture up i'll um the link that was shit sorry dude looks fucking yoked jamie foxx is uh

one of the most talented human beings on the planet right like hilarious comedian dancer um um actor musician uh, like anything. I guarantee you. I'm sorry. I guarantee you like he wanted to also be good at video games. He just would be. I heard him in an interview and it was pretty cool. He was like,

if you're older, you know, Michael Jordan is a very dominant basketball player. If you're younger, you know him as the crying Jordan meme. That's more present in your mind than perhaps the dominant basketball player i don't know if he's right but he's on to something and he was talking about his own career where he's like this group of people knows me as a singer this group of people knows me as an actor this group of people knows me as

something else and i was like yeah he is super talented that's pretty neat i knew him as a comedian first on In Living Color. He's looking fucking yoked there. He's looking real thick in the chest, especially up in the traps. Look at his shoulders, man. Look at his traps. I always thought of him as pretty

muscular, though. Oh, yeah. Look at him in Django. He has cranked it up, though. I see what Kyle sees. Oh, yeah. He's on the sauce. Yeah, he's getting big. I look forward to that. And then, of course, you got Chris Hemsworth playing Hulk Hogan. We'll see who does it better. My money

is on fucking Chris Hemsworth playing the fucking Hulkster because he's like three quarters of the way there. And they can do the rest with a little CGI and lighting. I'm a little out of date because it was a couple months ago but i saw hemsworth on his own instagram i think he was pushing something heavy doing a workout he looked jacked he did not look like thor anymore he looked like something more than the guy he has surpassed thor he i i i look forward to seeing out because it's instagram right it is the best

frame of a thing it's his you know it's as good as he can possibly look films you know they show you a little more relaxed i think sometimes you don't you're not always as good as you are in a still shot across a film but he's gonna be good uh he's gonna be gigantic i know for a fact that he's on the sauce um i mean as if it weren't obvious but but like like uh oh do you know for a fact that chris hemsworth is on the sauce they were talking about how much makeup and cgi it takes to like hide his back knee oh i've never heard that yeah i don't think that's something they want people to know it's kind of a gross secret i remember chris embers was really jacked

for thor and he was like on some late night show and like how look at you so great he was like i was i was having 600 calories a day to get fit i was like so angry and i was like the fuck you talking about bro no one's as big and thick as you are and consuming 600 calories a day don't come up with some silly lie tell everyone you got juiced so kids have realistic expectations for the results don't come out here and talk about 600 calories like people are thinking they should starve themselves and they'll look like thor yeah you cannot get cannot get... There's this whole thing about calorie surplus and building muscle. What it boils down to is you'll build a lot

of muscle if you have a big calorie surplus. You'll build some if you're at a calorie deficit. It won't be as good, though. But if you're eating 600 fucking calories a day as a grown-ass man trying to build muscle, he would look like a shithead in The Mechanic. Like he would look like a shithead in the mechanic um

like he would look like a machinist machinist the machinist i know you're saying kristen bale where he's all like like there's like nothing left you can't eat 600 fucking calories a day as a man and do physical activity like like when i get at dying level when i was actually like gaining like the most muscle when it was like damn this month like my most insane month was when i was eating like 35 to 3600 calories a day and almost vomiting by my third meal. Like that was at the the the point in your progression that I liked the most. The physique were like you weren't shredded or anything, but you were you were huge, like thick, big.

It's it's those pictures are silly because I'm like 220 and I'm just fucking yoked. Everything up here is just gigantic, my shoulders and everything. It looks silly. It looks good. I was more impressed by that physique. I think a lot of dudes

like that particular physique. I know my cousin has told me the same thing like because i like i'll flip through my phone like show him like the progression because i was getting him involved in the fitness stuff and he was like that that's where i want to be and i'm like that's five months of hard work that's nothing like the hard part is like the the four month the four or five months after that that's like this is just lifting weights i had an epiphany. I wonder if Taylor and I have a different bullseye, right? A version of what our target is because we have a bit of a different like possibility, right? I'm not going to look like fight club, but the perfect version of Woody isn't as big as the perfect version of Taylor, Kyle. Like I i'm gonna be a

little thinner um i can have a low body fat i can look really good the perfect version of me is pretty cool i think but when i see like the really jacked bulked up guy i'm like ah those grapes are probably sour i don't i mean i'm totally the other way. Like that, like some fat on the body, but huge jacked. I'm like, that's my ideal. I know there's no world I could get like Kyle because I just, I don't know how he shut down late night eating so effectively. I can't. I can't stop. I haven't finished a meal in like four days.

I used to. What works? Yeah. I used to what works. Yeah. I normally my state is I finish a meal and then through like willpower and discipline, make it to the next meal without snacking. That's like the good version of me right now. It's just like, you know, I've had enough. I don't know what's going on. I've been, I've been cutting weight. I've been cutting my calories way down the last couple of weeks. Cause I know when I start this new thing, we're going to gain a lot of weight. I think right now I'm about 195.

I'm like 10 pounds away from being pretty shredded. At my peak, I'm like 181.8 or something like that, pre-water cut. Then I water cut down to 170 pounds or something silly like that. But like, I'm going to gain 20 fucking pounds of just like fat. I'm going to, I'll gain 20 pounds of fat. And hopefully like 10 pounds of muscle. 10 pounds of muscle is so fucking crazy to add.

That's a huge amount. Oh, it's so much. Imagine 10 pounds of steak, like filet mignon, like lean beef, what that looks like, tacking that onto your body. There's no way you can put 10 pounds more muscle on unless you went on something wild. What time period?

Eight months. It's not possible. It's absolutely possible. Unless you're on track or something. I just did it. I just did it. I got the document. Yeah, but starting and getting to that point is definitely different than starting where you are now.

There was no decline in my gains. It was on a steady plane until I cut the calories, and then it plateaus and does this thing like this. I believe you, but beginner gains is totally a thing. I will show you. I believe you because your discipline is unmatched and stuff like this so i if anyone can do it you can i'm going to start as soon as derrick um gets back to me um and uh i think with the workout program the main changes i'm making is uh i'm dropping incline bench and going to flat bench to focus more on like my chip my whole chest and my upper chest because i think

upper chest actually looks pretty good like i can see where it separates when I flex that. I can see the separation in the upper pec and the middle pec, whatever the fuck. So that's your main point of progress is getting your chest bigger. Chest, yeah. It's the chest. And I'm going to do that with a combination of

the flat bench on one day of the week and then on the other day of the week doing this superset that's like dumbbell the the flat bench uh on one day of the week and then on the other day of the week doing like this uh the super set that's uh like uh dumbbell butterflies but you know like lying down and doing those whatever the fuck yeah and um cables and then pec deck i do this like super set of that 15 reps 15 reps 15 reps and then three minutes rest and then go again and and go through that like circuit until i'm like crippled because i do at the end of a workout are you pretty much all on three by 15 now

i've always been i've always been three by um you know no no no no no the 50 the 15 stuff is for things like i just sort of made a mental decision that like certain muscles like can take more punishment than others like i feel like if i did like 15 reps on my squats i'm gonna cripple myself it would just suck so bad but but like 15 reps on my pecs is like i can deal with like this being sore for two for two days if i just blow it out or or like or on my biceps or something like that like like like if i can focus on one like little or especially like forearms like i focus so much on four you can blow your forearms out every day you can blow them out every fucking day i do i do so many uh farmers carry that's why

like i stopped going heavy on them i stopped going heavy on the farmers carries and started going a little bit lighter so that i can like focus on like pumping and so i'm pumping and i'm like i refuse to like let my shoulders do this lazy shit. So I'm up here and trying to roll them as much as I can, doing laps around the gym holding 70s. And I just look like a complete asshole. Yeah. I admire that, actually.

So I do 90s when I do farmer's carries, and I'm not stronger. That just tells me that you've put your ego aside and done some mind-muscle connection getting it right. Whereas I, on the other hand, I've done both. I don't know that anything's better than the other. I just like doing different things.

Because for the longest time, I was just adding weight until some cocksucker broke one of our 100-pound dumbbells. What a piece of shit. Was it you? No. It was you. That wouldn't happen in your hometown.

No. And look, there's no excuse for dropping that thing like that. If you're using that, you shouldn't have to drop it. Because I did that. I tried to recreate this pose I saw, I think, Frank Colombo do where he takes – he took a big weight. I don't remember what it was. It was one of those weights that doesn't exist in normal gyms.

But he's like one arming up like 250 or something above his head. And I was like, well, all I've got is 100. So I got 100 up, and I was like, oh, I can do that. But when I put it down, I was like, all right, here we go. I brought it down and caught it with both hands and then came down to a neutral position and poured down my legs. Some motherfucker threw a 100-pound dumbbell

and broke the thing. I don't know what he did to break it. I had invented this scenario that's a little more reasonable. If you've ever done, I'm sure you have, but to the listener, inclined dumbbell bench press. Those would be dropped.

Dumbbells. Yeah. So I am pretty strong in the actual dumbbell bench press motion, but getting it there, I could be pretty weak. So there's a little bit of like, use your knees, throw it into position, catch it. And I can imagine a world where someone is using weight so heavy that they can do the exercise with it but they can't get into position i've seen it done

i've seen plenty of bodybuilders who have that team of guys who put the weights there for them when they're doing like 200 pound dumbbells so i can i'm like oh he probably did that and dropped it that's you know i have some understanding yeah so so most of the like stuff that i say some of the stuff i say is i'm like quoting derrick or research and i feel really i can stand behind it this is like a me thing though um so if it's if it's retarded it's all on me but like when i'm doing those dumbbell presses or whatever um i feel like my pec is so vulnerable in that position with that weight all on one hand and in the in the in the whatever you call the bottom position i feel like when i'm bottomed out on that like if something

were to go wrong i could really tear myself i'm always dropping those because i'm going to failure and like even when i'm doing the first set i'm not gonna like do some awkward sit up and like figure out how to put these down like like they always get dropped and i if if there's too many people that's one another reason like there's no way you could drop that weight politely during the day there's too many people um how far are you walking when you're doing farmer's carries oh i don't measure it i do laps around the gym to failure it's like like 100 yards 200 yards like that would surprise me that's that's that's that's that's awful far i do them at the end of my workout um and i do them on pull days always on pull days i try i

squeeze them in whenever i like don't feel tired on push days too but they're part of pull days because i feel like that's a grippy kind of pulley exercise that's already activating the forearms because of my basement length i do like i measured it out i have like i walk down the hockey area come back walk down come back and it ends up being like 50 yards and i'm up to like 140 on those now my thing is like my thing is i'm just trying to hurt myself like when i get to the end i'll uh i i put back on a bench, but I'll stand next to that bench and I'll just start pumping. And until like the pain is just almost overwhelming. And, uh, and, and I can't, I'll end up not being able to get them back to the bench and I'll end up having to like do a squat real quick and just let go.

Um, I'll blow my forearms out so bad that I can't get my gloves off. Um, sometimes. See, I can drop my shit without worrying. Cause I have farmer's carry handles. And I just, I put, so I put one steel 45, a second steel 45, and then a 45 bumper. And then I put like the five plate on there. And that way, like when you drop it,

there's 0% chance of the plates itself, like coming into the concrete. So here's why I don't like your thing. And I may be wrong about this, but when I do, when I, when I've used a similar thing, it's, um, the thing I used and maybe yours is too, but it's meant for those box squats or whatever, whatever you call the squats where you're like standing inside the hex. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I've tried that machine. I'm getting an Amber alert.

Sorry. I do a individual like minor minor it's just one hand on each okay they're totally different because i thought because when you're like this that's that feels weird that doesn't feel like you're i hate that it's like you're it's too it there's a weird displacement yeah yeah it's almost like putting pressure like up here on this joint because of the the way it pulls away i definitely want dumbbells or what you have like i want i want them to be independent because I think there's some stabilization that's happening too. And a bit of a rhythm that helps with stuff.

But I like, I love farmer's carries. Nothing makes my forearms look better after a workout than like burning out on farmer's carries. I feel like I'm, I'm held back on some of those things. Like, um,

your, your, your pinky thing. Sometimes actually, that's a good point. But my brachii, brachialis, there's a tendon right here in your elbow that i have injured before and i sometimes feel like all right it's it's two out of ten injured well look i have to be smart here's the thing you're you're 48 yes yeah it's different

it's almost time for trT. Right? Unless you're a genetic freak. Unless you're a genetic freak, your testosterone levels have to at some point be petering down to those of a normal man. I think if my T was genuinely very high,

I wouldn't have good hair. I think it's low. It's a genetic thing so it's a genetic thing that's exacerbated by the dht um is my understanding of it um you know dht being the free testosterone right dehydrogen acronyms don't don't fit well with me um it's i know that it's like a byproduct uh doing the extra tea. The more testosterone I'm injecting, the more DHT is going to my follicles. I use that DHT blocking shampoo that I leave in for an hour every day.

And I take my one milligram of finasteride or whatever it is every fucking day. That way I don't have to worry about that. And I tell everybody that i like get on the sauce as well like my cousin is on the trt um and a couple other people i won't blow their spot but like um i immediately put him on yeah gator's been on the seat he's like you told me last time bro it's how do you look right now i know i haven't i actually haven't seen him in the last three months um i'm hoping he's been sticking with it i want it to be a surprise when i see him next because i'm gonna i'm gonna travel up you sent some photos he's

he was looking good he's looking like like like real strong and like country boy thick um he's a hard-working guy so like like he already had like some muscle under there but he had gotten fluffy and uh but but i got him on the derrick's like the diet, the workout plan and the fucking, uh, medicine. And, uh, and,

and, uh, he's doing well. Uh, I saw his, I saw his blood work. They fixed his, uh,

cholesterol. His cholesterol was dangerous. And Derek fixed his cholesterol in three months. Derek's a, he's a wizard. Uh, he's got, he's got good people working for him.

And like, he knows what he's doing. He himself is a smart guy i would yeah this like actually came up in my head when i was like trying to fall asleep a couple months ago i was like what age do you start to go bald if you're gonna go bald usually like late 20s early 30s okay woody's through that hoop he's never going bald kyle seems to be mostly through it now i remember laying there thinking like i pray i'm not the first one to go bald you know you guys talk about it you guys are you're at the exact

age though where no one gives a shit are you and i'm already married so i've no exactly nobody cares any girl that's gonna fuck you kyle doesn't care what your hair looks like now that you have an eight pack none of it matters and and and woody like even if you did if you did lose your hair looks like now that you have an 8-pack. None of it matters. And Woody, even if you did lose your hair, your hair is great. I do think it's great hair. 8-pack is better than that hair. You gotta take the TRT. You gotta do it. It doesn't matter.

I would do it. I have fucking bald ring at the top here, but this long hair on the sides? I don't care, bro. Are you stanzing slowly? No, he's getting these. Yeah, I get a receding hairline, but it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of stayed there. It's kind of been here forever. Yeah.

Like it's always been here. Taylor, why don't you do the finasteride thing? It's cheap. Uh, I don't know. I can send you. Is that the one that like we decided not to do a few years ago? Cause like there's some like liver and heart stuff. Richard Ryan was taking, um, a version of it years ago because like there's some like liver and heart stuff richard ryan was

taking um a version of it years ago and he had a couple of issues look i've been taking it for two years almost now and like i haven't had a single issue with it other than my testosterone is slightly lower higher it raises your testosterone and uh it keeps your fucking hair from falling out and there are potential side effects there are one of them and that it's when everyone points out his impotency but i it goes away if you stop taking it and uh if you're taking your cialis then you you counteract it um my the joke i always make is like i would have no idea if my dick is has been broken if i'm gonna go bald i'm just gonna go bald really just take the pill it's cheap if you're gonna go, I can send you a link if you like.

I don't think I'm going to. If you're going to go bald, just bick your head. I think it's fucking cool. I mean, it would be the ultimate motivation. If you're going to be bald, you got to be jacked. Derek would tell you, look, just shave it, bro. Fine. If that's your thing,

it can be your thing, but come on. It's not really your first choice right you know your first choice is a good hair he likes to optimize he's talking about pure pure optimization it's like me saying like yeah those guys with really big muscles who even wants that all right just taylor you idiot bro taylor i feel like you have you have two options that make sense to me because this is how my personality works i don't understand i'm like why isn't he doing either a or b because it's clearly just it's a binary decision either you start doing like heavy steroids like like like the scary yes because like like the main thing that scares me away from that is the hair

loss like some of that stuff will nuke your fucking hair i don't want my heart to blow up i'll fuck your heart but so but if you don't care about the heart good years till 49 yeah but if you just don't care about the hair you can go hard i'm being i'm being a total problem paranoid lunatic with this because my dad has all his hair my grandpa has all his hair and so like i don't think i'm gonna go bald resistant i'm i'm a bitch steroid resistant yeah you could your dad your grandpa have all their hair well to be honest you did always have that thickness on your own already there do more before you get into that i feel like you could do more no yeah like i've seen you i've seen you on this podcast looking straight up like a fucking wrestler before

like one of the first times i came on he's huge right now yeah he is huge no he is still very thick he's like i look i get my sweater i look buff ining this? Oh, doesn't everybody? Everybody looks buff in their sweater, boys. I feel like my own deltoids. Like, Jack. Okay, I want a sweater, guys. It's fine. So I feel like Taylor could optimize himself even further and then just blast it hard one time, like double XP weekend.

Blow everyone out of the water, take a photo shoot for them. Just get huge. That would be awesome. That would be the, if I were going to do steroids, I would set my only goal to be way bigger than Kyle. That would be the only, and like genetically, genetically, I think I have Kyle edged out because I'm naturally a hyper responder to weight training and stuff.

So I think your bones are just bigger in diameter. I don't swim well. kyle edged out because i'm naturally a hyper responder to weight training and stuff so i yeah you i think your bones are just bigger in diameter i don't swim well i bet not like i've told you this this whole way that i've been doing this thing it's like dude if you you've already you're like 85 of your genetic potential right now or something like that you're close like if you spent five more years like grinding natural you're only going to get a little bit better yeah diminishing but if you went on just like a replacement dose of testosterone like 150 milligrams a week like that's literally what like that is the legitimate replacement dose it's very low but but there are advantages to it because you're getting this perfectly steady state of testosterone throughout the day whereas your body normally does these like

weird spurts because it's a biological entity that's it's not a machine but we're injecting with a fucking syringe so we get this steady stream of like perfect testosterone all day you would get enormous you would blow up like in five months you would you would you would get enormous you would blow up in five months you would literally gain pounds of lean muscle and like get much stronger

is there a way to do it pill wise? those muscles would burn calories those calories would make him skinny it's a whole thing Kyle there's no way I'm going to be skinny ever I have a damaging relationship with food. There's no way I'm going to be skinny ever. I have a damaging relationship with food and it's not going to change.

Yeah. I think the idea that... I ate half of that cheese advent calendar the other night. That was it. That was all I had. Nothing else. I don't know what happened to me, but I loved it. I can't finish a meal. I'm with you. That's such a nice problem. problem no i had the same thing going honestly everybody was like i bet you're gonna have a hard time with your diet when you start smoking weed again and it's like

when i get good and high i'm like i just want a little snack i just want to like like i had like pork tenderloin what with you just want a little treat when you're high like like yeah i want like you know everybody says like yeah i i want like you know everybody says like they're gonna eat one cookie and they eat a sleeve of fucking cookies yeah i literally like had one cookie the other day and i was like that was a good cookie and then i'd eat anything for like eight hours and then like tonight for dinner i had this pork tenderloin with um like like thanksgiving dressing the last of the thanksgiving dressing i ate like half of that

thing i bet i only ate like 500 calories when i get stoned like i am instantly famished it does not matter if i just ate a huge meal like if i'm high i just want to eat and eat and eat and eat so when you're a more occasional smoker or when you're a new smoker it seems to have that effect but like you know i i've been smoking delta eight every fucking day like and i've been smoking the wax too like i've got delta eight wax and uh and and the vape pens and then i keep going to like all the variants right the thcp the hhp or whatever the fuck i don't even know what i'm smoking anymore but it gets me high you said all of those were terrible so far right no the thp is one of the strongest things i've had i don't a thcp um i have no idea what it is they didn't explain it to me but they charged the fuck out of me an embarrassing amount i order my

shit offline now and it's you can get like an ounce online pardon me is that the is that the post office no god, God, no. You wouldn't believe how many people have offered to mail me shit like, hey. Oh, gosh. So many people are like, hey, man, I'll just send you drugs. No! And I'm just like, send them to Woody.

He'll send them to me. Send them to Woody. Woody's over there burning bags of trash. He's out there fucking oh, God. thing oh oh i also thought that um pot or delta we'll call it the same thing might impact your appetite and make it hard to be disciplined there yeah but i've seen studies that said you know pot smokers are thinner now i wonder if they like sort of leveled out for other factors because pot smokers are thinner. Now, I wonder if they, like, sort of leveled out for other factors. Because pot smokers are younger, oftentimes.

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, too. I don't know. To me, it doesn't kill my appetite. But it sort of makes me feel like... It does kill my appetite. It sort of makes me disinterested in food. That's so weird.

Like, food isn't very satisfying. Like, what I really want is like a hot bath or like uh like a like to cuddle up in a fucking blanket on the couch and watch a good movie by the fireplace like i want something like that that would satisfy me right now or a blow job not um not uh you know like no more no i i just like when i'm when i'm stoned out my mind i i love just i love mindless eating when I'm stoned to shit. It doesn't matter really what it is. I used to.

I used to make it an event. I love it. It feels so good to eat that much. And the next morning, you feel so bad and terrible because you realize you go back out in the living room and you see just the damage you did. You see the 11 wrappers of cheese sticks and you know that you fucked up. So like when I was smoking a lot and I was like filming a lot, I would say I would say I would say hi all day. But I would be I'd be moving around burning a lot of calories, but I would also only eat one meal a day. So like even on film days, I would never eat like I'd show up at like 7 a.m. into the field or wherever, like starving already.

And and I would work all day just on like like tons of caffeine and weed. Well, not on film days because then somebody gets blown up and that high guy blew me up. Mostly caffeine and cigarettes would just keep me grinding through that day. And by the time it was over, I was so fucking hungry and I would get high as shit then at the end of the day. And for some reason, like maybe it's because I was so hungry and because I was tired and exhausted, the weed was like overpoweringly strong at the end of the day. So there were so many days where like, we'd be at the Mexican restaurant after filming a video and I would just be sitting there like, fuck. Yeah, man. Just like one of my dad's friends walks by like

your juice is boy and i'm like yeah that's that's me could you still operate that shotgun young man yes sir i can there are times like i remember being like caffeine that's a that that's an appetite suppressant i'm gonna get high as shit i'm gonna drink a big 20 ounce red bull all it does is make me eat faster now i'm just with a hot dog competition and it's like god damn i i feel like some people just have different appetites and like you can't get around that. Like I love overeating.

I love it too. I like the feeling like, like, like there's something about the, whatever your, whatever chemical your body is releasing when you are like, when you've overeaten and you have that two full feeling. Yeah.

You get that dopamine high. Yeah. That is a really good feeling. Your body. It's like, your body is like, you love that feeling. You did feeling. Your body is like, you did good. Love that feeling.

You did good. You are a great hunter of gatherers. You brought me all I – it's like a woman laying in bed. Like she's still smoking. She's just like, you did so well. Like you gave me everything I wanted, and you gave me stuff I didn't even think I needed. That's what your stomach is saying. You gave me so much that I didn't even know i could take so much inside me at once yeah and then like and i'm

gonna treat a stomach i'm gonna treat you to some more yeah and your body fucking loves it so i do so yeah that's that's the problem because like um when i do eat i do want to overeat i want to eat a bunch of something um but but not recently on the because i've been so fucking stoned all the time when i'm sober i am like like um or if i drink alcohol like if i were uh if i were drinking alcohol every day or just getting drunk at night or whatever the fuck uh i'd be eating well that that's a shit ton of calories just getting drunk. Yeah, a bottle of vodka is like 2,000 calories or something. It's got to be something insane like that.

If anything, if I'm drinking, it fills up my stomach, and I don't want to overeat until late at night, like hours after I'm done drinking, and then all the hunger hits me. It's the opposite again. But if I'm high, there's nothing stopping me. I'm going to be a monster. Whenever I remember, like, we'd go out to chicago and we'd hang out with the dagninos um you know the guys who own the paintball field they took me out to dinner one night

and uh and i got drunk with paul because paul likes his alcohol and then like it made me so hungry that i ate all of my food and then all of someone else's food. I was like, can I order something else? And somebody was like, you can have mine. And sober me would be like, no, of course I won't take it. But I was just like, yeah, give it. Slide it over. I mean, the one else is veal.

The drunchies are definitely powerful. But the way the drunchies work for me like but the way like the the drunchies work for me is like it's always a few hours like late at night you've been drinking all day or whatever at a picnic or wherever you are it's like you stop drinking at like seven at night and then by 10 like i'm still like obviously the alcohol is still in my system. Yeah. I'm still drunk, but I'm famished. But like that, like two seconds after I'm drinking a beer, like I'm really not interested in food. I've got to be careful with substance substances anyway, because I clearly have like an addictive personality. I mean, I people have praised me for like sticking to that workout program.

I, people have praised me for like sticking to that workout program. I think I'm just kind of addicted to doing it and not doing it would hurt a little bit the same way, not flicking the light switch on three times for some, a different kind of person might once I'm in a groove, I kind of have to stay in that groove or it's upsetting to me. So like I lost my train of thought. What was the, what was the thing about the munchies and the drunchies and how you you're you're not eating very much when you're high. But when you're drunk, it's gone.

A lot. It's gone. And it's it's in the ether. Yeah, it's gone. It's like that's like the highest thing to do is like when you're like you're stoned right now. But like you think of something very funny and then you can almost feel it leave your mind as it's leaving where you're like no did you but i remember the first word no i don't remember any words come back it's like it's some harry potter shit it got pulled the fuck out um i'll so but forget teosa um did you guys do you

guys see the police shooting where those Arizona police officers gunned down that wheelchair-bound shoplifter? What? No, I haven't seen this video. What happened? I have the video, but it is far too brutal to show. Put it, link it so I can see it.

I will, and maybe I could describe what I've seen it a few times, and in case I missed something or don't understand something it looks like these officers respond to a call that this person has been shoplifting they're in one of those motorized wheelchairs links incoming and I don't know the person just kind of tries

to wheel away from the officers and then the cop shoots the person maybe 10 12 times in the back and then they die did you mean so far it sounds justified cop shoots the person maybe 10-12 times in the back and then they die. Did you mean to timestamp it? That's justified. Is where it's timestamped. Oh, you didn't say it was an electric mobility...

Holy shit! What the fuck are they doing to this guy? They just tased this guy. I didn't even joke about this. They're going to kill this man. What did he do? He didn't do anything. Fuck cops, man. Oh, this is an even better one.

They tase this poor crippled man near the entrance of a Home Depot garden center it looks like. He falls out of the chair, still convulsing. Where are you seeing tasers? These are gunshots. Oh, I have it on mute that i thought oh you poor man those are gunshots he's dead oh my god they murdered him

holy yeah they you can see him like breathing shot this guy in his wheelchair like i thought you saw a different vid i was like taylor's watching a much kinder video i i thought they tased him and he fell out no they they fucking murdered this guy he's bleeding out you can see it like 150 145 him like breathing his last breaths i hope they all spend the rest of their lives in prison fuck cops really like look like only one shot sometimes oftentimes when you see a shooting there is like an 80-20 responsibility. Like, all right, this guy was 80% wrong, but this guy was 20% wrong. You know, he didn't comply as much as he could have.

He didn't do this. Or even there was one I thought was 100% cop mistake. But here, they told a guy to get his license. He jumps back in his truck, like enthusiastically, energetically to get his license. He jumps back in his truck enthusiastically, energetically to get his license, and they murdered him. You know what he was getting in his truck? His license. That's it. There was no gun there. They didn't see a gun. There was no gun. They just didn't like the

pace at which he sort of went to retrieve his license and shot him. 90% of me is like, clearly bad shooting. Clearly, clearly bad. They didn't see a gun. Another part of me is like, clearly bad shooting. Clearly, clearly bad. They didn't see a gun. Another part of me is like, I bet they wish they could do that one over. These guys, this was a slowly unfolding situation. I think only one shot. I think the officer who was on camera,

and I don't know how many shots he fired at a count, but he goes he goes bump bump bump bump bump bump bump and and like that pause between the last shot is no witnesses and you can't have a witness because it gives the first five shots on camera from two different fucking angles jesus christ this is absurd this is the most absurd. I mean, if he was black, it would have made national news. But it's just I was thinking that, too. I bet if he was black that people would see it more racially. They'd have parades.

Yeah. But this is such a clearly bad shooting. It is, to me, parallel to like the ISIS. The ISIS beheadings. There was no two sides of that story. This, same thing. Yeah. Yeah, very true.

Yeah, they certainly wouldn't have a protest, not a parade. They wouldn't have a float of a guy in a wheelchair. Welcome to the George Floyd anniversary parade. And just following the Snoopy float, we have the crippled man who was shot at the Home Depot Garden Center entrance. Isn't that wonderful? Zach, we talked about that one last week, right? Which one?

I'd never seen that video. The custody one? Oh, I don't know if we spoke about it on this show, but you're referring to the Texas video where the man was going to the household where his son was because he has visitation and it's his day for the kid kid isn't there inexplicably and he gets an altercation with the stepfather who produces a weapon

long story short he kills the other man and that one's interesting because by the letter of the law the guy was justified to shoot the other man because the other man says, he says, I'm going to take your gun

away and kill you. And then he grabs at the man's gun. It's a terrible thing to say. And the man is like, you said the magic words. You know? You said the magic words. And he shoots him twice. He said everything but I am an immediate threat to your well-being. Yours and your family. You said the magic words, and he shoots him twice. He said everything but,

I am an immediate threat to your well-being. Yours and your family. As well as your property. I am going to seriously bottle harm, murder, or rape. He knows that this is North Carolina law. For the future jury, I am willfully attempting to harm this man. He just said the dumbest thing you can say when you're in an altercation like that.

And he tried to wrestle the gun away from the man. The man gave him a warning shot and then he shot him in the face. And it's on camera from two different points of view. And now you've got like a dead father and, uh, and it's a Texas angle, Kyle, where perhaps the guy who got shot was trying to undo a kidnapping no okay no that's not a possible angle was the guy who got shot engaged in a current kidnapping no he just didn't produce

because because like our cop friend was telling us like like just because the court says he has visitation that's between them and that probate court or whatever that's called. It makes sense. You're supposed to give me, it's my time 3pm, you hand the kid over to me. It's a rule, not a law. It's 3.01, murder in time.

Suddenly it's kidnapping. Suddenly it's breaking at her in your house. Why go outside with a gun? The guy's on his property and won leave and uh and look i'm not justifying what he says i'm just telling you like like what occurred that made him do that thing um him producing a gun was very foolish he should have gone inside the house closed the door yeah he like walked out with a gun it's always so crazy it's like you take it to such a whole other level yeah um you know i think i think i think that he's if you think about the whole situation right if you add all the the pieces up

you know he's the new husband of this lady they've already got that beef between them and like this other dude is like bigger physically and he's like in this guy's face like kind of pushing him around on his own front porch in front of his family. Can't let that fly. I mean, you can kind of start understanding what's going through this guy's head to be like, you know what? You're not going to come to my house on my porch in front of my family and push me around. Like I've already got a deal with like, you used to be with my wife. Like, you know what? How about I grab my fucking carbine and we see if you still want to be a bully today and so that's one way to like look at it i suppose another is that they tricked this guy into showing up getting mad and then murdered him which is the point of view that a lot of people have but uh uh because uh i guess he's very well connected in the community the one who did the shooting i think maybe uh his ex-wife or his wife or

something is a judge. I don't know all the nitty-gritty details, but I just thought it was a cool gun he shot the other guy with mostly. Oh, that gun was crazy. Yeah. What was it? It's a 9mm carbine of some kind that I'm not very familiar with. You know, it's like a – it looks kind of like an AR type thing

or like a big – it really looks like a ruger 1022 type thing it's something i'm not very familiar with someone was explaining it to me but i saw the magazine and i knew it was nine millimeter or a carbine some people argue that a nine mil doesn't have the stopping power would you say that argument becomes wildly untrue in a rifle form no no the velocity is mildly higher i'm sure i don't know what it would be there's less waste coming out of the barrel most of that power goes into the bullet is the thought process i had yeah it's it's acting on the bullet for a longer period of time it's able to um apply more force it does have a higher velocity with a longer barrel to you know there's and um but that higher velocity

isn't high enough glass pistol rifle if it's the same bullet i don't know specifically exactly what it would be but i would imagine it's like a couple hundred feet per second faster it's not like it doubles in speed and suddenly becomes a killing machine nine millimeters fine anyway like especially if you're using hollow point ammunition which is what a civilian's using it's when those cops are shooting those guys 15 times you know they're shooting full metal jacket ammo that's just kind of going in and coming out the other side. It's not really doing all that disgusting stuff that hollow point ammo does. I thought the cops carried hollow point.

No, you probably have a lot more dead people. I hope they don't. I hope I'm not wrong about this. I know military doesn't, I guess I just assumed that cops as well would not carry hollow points. I hope cops don't carry hollow points. Cops can

do whatever they want. They'll get away unless they're like one of the few cops who shoots an unarmed black guy. No one's going to care. They can get away with murder. They literally get away with murder. Is there any truth to the idea that hollow point would not do

as well on say a leather jacket or a couple of layers no no hollow point would not give a damn about that yeah hollow bone give a fuck about close if anything it's gonna be worse it's gonna it's gonna be opened up when it hits you i can see that too okay yeah it's it's gonna be worse it'll drag pieces of your north face into your heart. That's how a lot of people die. That's what actually kills a lot of people from gunshot wounds historically because those old muskets and stuff, you're lobbing this 50, 60, 70 caliber round piece of lead at somebody.

It wouldn't go in that deep if it was a long range. It'd just kind of go in an inch or two. They could pull it right out, but the problem was it would push your filthy rags that you were wearing on that revolutionary war battlefield into the wound and they didn't know what the fuck they were doing they'd stitch you right back up and then you'd just get gangrenous and rot from the inside get go septic and fucking die a horrific death speaking of shootings did you see uh ale Alec Baldwin came out today and said, I didn't even pull the trigger on that gun. Yeah, I fired.

And it's like, dude, everyone understands this to be an accident. And we know how guns work. Maybe your Hollywood friends don't. But you pulled the trigger. Like, just say you did it. And it was it would you were joking. You were doing a jokey. I've never.

I've never heard of a gun quote unquote just going off. It doesn't happen. What about on drops? Have you ever heard of it? I've heard of it. Mostly in the case of single action revolvers that are older. And already cocked.

Yes. Yes. This was not one of those he didn't drop the gun is the real thing I've just never heard of one that's like in a hand or on a table just going bang I'm sure it's happened

it just seems like a stupid lie to tell it seems like maybe I'm disconnected but it seems like most people are like this was a tragic accident you obviously didn't mean to murder someone yeah it was an accidental killing just say you pulled the trigger in a joke yeah the lie is silly for him to tell because because now now i'm sitting here like what the fuck trigger on purpose why is he telling me why is he lying about what happened i thought for some reason I thought the original story was he was doing a cross draw that he wasn't familiar with. Like he's done this before, but he's never done this.

And he wanted to practice. And dude, you pulled the trigger. That's why guns go off. Yes. You know. A hundred percent of the time. If he had just said, look, I was practicing my cross draw. I'm not,

I thought the gun was safe. It was supposed. I've heard of a gun going off by itself. Here's the scenario though. It's a stupid scenario that, that, that doesn't happen. My dad had had his trigger,

uh, modified by someone didn't know what they're doing. And they made it too sensitive. It was so sensitive. And in fact, when the rifle was hammer back, it's a bolt action rifle so that means you just close the bolt. That's what pulls

the hammer back. If he closed the bolt outside of the truck in the cold of the morning and then he got back into the truck, he sat the rifle across his lap, barrel pointed toward the door, chambered safety off because

he's still overlooking the field that's legal to do as long as you're parked in the field yeah and uh and he's just warming up the the truck heater warms the rifles internals enough that the the internals expand as steel does as everything does when it when it's heated and it goes the fuck off in the truck because he has his window down smoking a cigarette it shoots into the truck door shatters the window glass shoots up out of the crack and he's just sitting there like the fuck okay well that that is due to an insanely incompetent gunsmith yeah and i've never heard of that happening ever.

Never, never. Like, the only time that people drop a gun that goes off is in movies. I'm sitting here racking my brain, like, have I ever heard of a gun going off? That's the one time. Because in movies, like, someone will drop a Glock 19,

and it'll fire. It's like, well, that doesn't make any mechanical sense. It happens in Sopranos. When they're robbing the truck, one of the guys drops his pistol and takes out the friendly guy yeah it's a whole thing no they don't do that

to my knowledge look maybe it's happened I'm just saying I've never seen it and I've never heard anyone talk about it ever happening yeah so yeah Alex killed that guy but it was an accident

he shouldn't be liable or culpable or anything no the gunsmith or whatever that or anything no i don't like that or whatever that's called the the person in charge of that should get in trouble not the actor who was yeah that round that that chunky blonde lady who clearly didn't know what the fuck she was doing um we've got a guy in our 50 dollar um patron hangout thing and bob who like does this for movies i won't go to into too much detail about where he lives or which movies, but he's a real cool guy,

and he's worked on bigger stuff. And he was like, yeah, she wasn't supposed to be doing this. She wasn't supposed to be doing that. This was wrong. That was wrong. She's the one. And he was like,

and she makes us all look bad. That was impressionable on me. He was like, clearly he was like and she makes us all look bad like i that was impression uh impressionable on me he was like clearly he was kind of like and she makes us all look bad because like yeah he was annoyed by and he clearly is a consummate expert who knows exactly what he's doing and he would have never done that he even said that he was like i can't imagine someone in that position anyone not knowing enough about guns to be put in that position and if someone is they immediately should say they're not qualified and the woman did say i'm not qualified for this and they kept her on it's basic bitch shit to like not have that line live ammunition anywhere near the the set who keeps live ammo near a hollywood set like what

what's what's to gain they had been target shooting um like like on time off like like right off like the beaten path they're like shooting cans and shit and then going back to filming with the same fucking gun but with blanks and stuff in it and then somebody got killed like like it's absurd that that any of that was happening that there was any ammo anywhere near any of the guns they were using like you would never see that and like something that i was doing like like like if we're gonna be like if we were if i was doing a thing like where we were mixing um like like airsofts with like fake muzzle blast with real guns like like like we're doing sort of like a fiction non-fiction thing where some of it was real guns and some of

it was like actors and zombies or something there would be such a separation between those two like for sure things like like oh jesus christ they shouldn't have even had alec baldwin out there plinking with it with first of all the same gun really second of all what's he plinking for he's in a movie like it doesn't fucking matter no one on earth thinks that alec baldwin is a sharpshooter i think maybe he's playing one well he's not anymore is he um no he's playing a real shooter i'll tell you i'll tell you what i'm starting to believe alex ball alec baldwin might be a sharpshooter i mean he's one for one how funny would it be if the the clip came out and it's him going like just firing it's like yeah we didn't let it out the angle of that that's what

she was hate imagine the story if it was like i gotta say a tragic accident she was hit six times middle mass is it on video do they have the video? I don't think so. I feel like it would have went viral if they did. If they had that video, what if he did a sick quick draw and smoked her and then stuck you know how they'll spin it and stick it back into the holster real quick?

What if he thought that when she fell or him, I don't even know who he killed anymore, but he thought that they were playing along for the guy. he was just like bang and he like spun the gun threw it back in the holster and had like a fucking catchphrase he said and all that shit was on film like his catchphrase

is I fucking hate you and I'm glad you're dead Susan Miller I meant it I meant it. I meant it, Bale Grum. Yeah, I don't really like that guy at all. He's pretty annoying. Alec Baldwin?

Yeah. I don't need anything wrong about him. Am I getting him confused? He's in some good movies, right? Yeah, my favorite might be The Edge. I rewatched that the other day. I watch it all the time. It's got a great moment in it

where Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin had that talk where uh he tells him that what one man can do another can do because they're trying to like hype themselves up enough to do the shit that's in this like survival handbook and fight a grizzly bear and then there's repeating over over and over what one man could do another could do what one man could do another could do it's fucking great the edge the edge it's great movie it's got mckay pfeiffer anthony hopkins and alec baldwin that's not the one with wolves in it is it no that's the gray and that's a bullshit fucking movie and and liam liam neeson owes me 32 fucking dollars for that travesty of a film that came out and like you make your candy bad too?

How'd you spend $32 on it? We thought it'd be cool to watch the Grey and IMAX and then you buy a Coke or two. Liam Neeson is too busy pissing himself with his big dick to care. Fuck him. First of all, Liam Neeson, you're a drunk Irishman. I can think of a few other stereotypes

as fucking humiliating. You piss yourself. Second of all, you have a non-memorable, unpronounceable name, Leon Nelson. Remember when he went full Woody and said that he wanted to go out on the streets beating up black people?

Do you remember that? A friend of mine was... Yeah, he did. He was like, I wanted to just go out and just beat up black people on the streets yeah he did and i remember watching this i was like oh it's pka i'm listening to he literally did that he was interviewed and they're like so a friend of yours was assaulted and he's like some black bastard assaulted and so i went out there just looking for any black bastard I could find.

I guarantee I'm goosing it up, but that's definitely not that much. You're really not goosing it up that much. Really not at all. I mean, I mean, and then he just pisses his pants. Look at Liam Neeson pants. He pisses himself all the time, all time and he doesn't even care he's a guy standing there knowing there's piss in his pants and he doesn't mind his friend was raped that's an alpha move actually i you know what pretty cool kyle you can be zippo guy taylor you can be balisong knife guy i'm gonna be to be piss your pants guy. I'm going to be piss your pants and hold your chin up tall guy.

I've said many times I'm corner of the room, toothpick in mouth, flipping a coin guy. And that's the guy I am. All right. Well, it's hard to be piss your pants guy. That guy has self-confidence. That guy doesn't give a fuck what you think. Piss your pants to save your daughter. has self-confidence that guy doesn't give a fuck what you think it's your pants to save your daughter i'm gonna that's so easy to photoshop though it can't be true right particular set of

skills including pissing my pants i've seen trump with peed pants and diapers and stuff like that that doesn't mean it happened you know people photoshop trump does never wore diapers he just has a donk just a huge ass you you would have to use photoshop to find a picture of liam neeson where he hasn't pissed his pants like like like you have to dry that shit he has always pissed himself i i listened to him talking about wanting to beat up the black people taylor has goosed it up considerably. And I... But I do prefer Taylor's version. It is funny.

I looked up Liam Neeson clean pants and it's all piss. There are seven different independent photos of him pissing. Did you mean Liam Neeson with only a little piss in his pants? Did you mean Liam Neeson with only a little

piss in his pants? There was a little piss picture. There was a little piss one. He's just trying to draw attention. He's got the biggest dick in Hollywood. He's peacocking. Bazinga. That's what I am.

Spingo. Uganda. This room is cool. I left the room for a second i came back this room is like 15 degrees colder than the rest of the house maybe 20 my feet are cold i am warm as hell in this sweater i'm cold but you gotta get a mini split this is one of the best house upgrades i've had whatever you know like a car like a car you can go in your car and wear a winter coat in the summer because your car's air conditioning is op or in the winter if you want to wear shorts and no shirt in your car in the winter you can why because the heat is it works it does its job this room is like that i got got a remote control, baby. Any temperature I want. Think of a temperature.

I could do it. 40. 5,000. I could do it. I could do it. Any temperature. I want to see frost on that stand. Turn it to 30.

Would you ever do like that polar bear thing, like jump into the frozen hole in the ice or whatever? That sounds really unpleasant. Any any of you i'm sorry uh i think i would i think especially if it was like a supervised group thing if it was just me giving it a go like as a fuck about it i would really like to do it um are you naked when you do it? I am. You do you. Yeah, I was about to say, I'm going to wear some shorts. I think, as George Costanza would say, there will be significant shrinkage when I come out of the frozen lake.

I'm going to be peacocking. People do that in Vancouver on January 1st. I'm going to alpha everyone there by coming out of it totally erect on january 1st so like i don't know how cold we'll go running into the ocean and it's like a polar bear swim is that a new york thing it was in vancouver it was in vancouver i've been in cold water twice i've been in water that had ice frozen over it i fell through the ice before and got completely soaked i've done that i've done that uh it's not as like bad as it sounds i was in like a frozen swamp so like falling through the ice just meant that you like got soaked in water there was like no you weren't gonna drown or

anything you were probably up to like thigh level like not full but i but the problem is like i was flat on my stomach trying to like not go through the ice so i just so so it like broke like and the part where my feet had gone through was lower and this big sheet of ice did this and i slid like slowly and the end the water was also the water's like coming up as the whole thing slinks down and i'm just like slowly realizing that i might as well start crawling through the water because we are soaked and it's like two miles back to my friend's house my dick disappeared dude i have a similar so i'm in middle school and there's a pond that's frozen over it's a small pond that doesn't get

deep enough to drown and it's frozen over which in new jersey is not an all the time thing it's like uh it happens but it's it's nice so we start playing on it and we realize that it's thick enough to walk on kind of carefully most of the time but not so thick that you can be careless yeah and i mean i've always been stupid so we like play with the edges of how strong it is how much you can jump put a hole in it here and see what happens when you start walking near the hole until eventually of course we fall in fall in this frozen pond and then we realize, you know what? This isn't that bad.

So we start, like, now there's, like, big shelves of ice. And we're standing on them. And they're all tippy and slippery and shit. We're falling in this frozen pond repeatedly. We do this for, like, two hours. Fucking around with the frozen pond. And we're about a mile from home so we walk home cold and wet and i had a middle school dance that night i i had lost my voice by the time the

dance was that i showed up with like laryngitis just like horsing at girls asking can you dance with me no you want to dance with me what's wrong with you i was fucking around a frozen lake and then yeah that began a long string of uh romantic failures the other time the other time i went into cold water was when we were filming that stupid uh video for um act of valor oh yeah yeah i don't know so we filmed that in january so i don't know how cold it was that day but i would guess it was in the high 40s low 50s i don't know how cold the water was but god damn it was cold god damn it was cold and i had to go under that fucking water and i just i got in and scott's standing there with that fucking camera and I'm hyper ventilating in the water and I'm looking

up at him. I'm like, I only want to do this shit fucking once. So fuck this up. Start recording now. I don't want you to have to hit that button. I want you forgetting. I'm going to go under the fucking water. When I come up, you

pan and zoom. And just stay on me until i say all right don't fuck this up like i have to go into that fucking water and i have to now i have to go into like i'm not cold pretend mode i say my nonsense and then like i needed help getting out of my clothes because they were like suctioned to me and soaking wet and i had all this tactical bullshit and so like i'm i'm laying on the ground and there's a man on each of my pants legs and my pants going as they're pulling them off of me i'd have fucking died if they'd left me in that field on my home like like if they weren't that cold in the movie that wasn't part of it. It was just cold.

They were in a fucking jungle. They were in a swamp. It was not Vietnam or something. But I needed a body of water to rise up ninja style. Right, I saw the video. Yeah. I'm sorry. This conversation is not just for me.

Kyle, I already know. It's just us talking. That's right. I've told you this all before. Yeah, that was awful. i don't like being in the cold water but i would do the polar bear thing because that's like i feel like there's like warmth immediately you know afterwards and you're good to go what do you gain by doing you just jump in i think it's just fun yeah yeah i think some people feel like uh it wakes them up

in an interesting way yeah it's exhilarating i mean i don't even want to take cold showers cold showers. Cold showers are terrible. Those are for psychotics. They are. They're for insane people. If you take a cold shower, you're an absolute psychopath. Really?

You don't do it now and then? Never. I love piping hot showers. I like it just to the point that I can barely stand it. That's where I like my showers. Here's what I do. I'm my wife. This is another one of my stupid things I do. At the end, because I heard that hot water makes your pores open.

And so if you take a hot shower and you come out, like, I feel like that makes you more acne prone. I feel like your pores are open and then they're more likely to get clogged. Oh, you don't think open allows them to unclog? I don't think that ever happens. I think those commercials are bullshit. When the Biori goes down in and gets a bunch of... That never happened once.

I don't get acne. I've got that Accutane shield. Yeah, I know you do. Everybody else gets acne, though. So at the end of my shower, what I do is I slowly go a little cold more and more and more. And if you do it really slowly like that, and you rotate so that every part of your body is getting accustomed,

you can slowly get to an almost frigid shower and not even mind too much. But you have to go slow. And so I do that at the end of my showers. Because what I do is I take a bath and then a shower every day, at least once a day, usually twice a day, because I got to soak my hair for an hour and then I take a shower after the soap. You got to soak that hair for an hour. Yeah, I soak the hair for an hour. And I need the Epsom salt bath, too. I like to be in there, you know, getting all salty. No, when I'm taking a shower, like my body is like visibly more red when i get out yeah because

i it's it's borderline boiling it's almost steam coming all right you want the temperature right below flesh damage yes and sometimes sometimes right at flesh damage because that gives a nice i want to burn harley are you a hot shower man very i am i am a very hot like i'm like damage my hair and skin type hot same yeah like i come out and like i fucking accidentally dry my face with the jizz towel and get four pimples those hot water open pores just i thought that for a pimple i thought the uh the, I was worried about the acne. That was like going into it, like it was hair loss number one was my concern and then followed by acne.

And I did get acne on my shoulders, like up here on the back part and like on my back a little bit occasionally. And then like on my delts later on a little bit. But like nothing crazy and but and and i as i would just need to like really stick to my regimen of like exfoliating and fucking using my creams and and like making sure i don't ever like miss a shower you miss the boat on the accutane thing man like you you could have got shout out to my mom for putting me on accutane i remember i remember the appointment. I was, I had like acne on my upper lip and a little bit on my chin and we went in. Oh, you had like a pimple. Well, it was like down here, like under

the pimple goatee. Oh yeah. A little, a little pimple neck beard. And I remember going into the, the doctor's office and my mom being like, Taylor is so embarrassed by his acne, which is true. And he doesn't want to deal with this. And the doctor, I remember explicitly, I could close my eyes and see the scene. He was like, see, the thing with that is, is that your son's acne, Taylor's acne, it's like a convenience store robbery. And Accutane would be like dropping a nuclear warhead. And it was like, yeah, that's what we want. And so

I took it. I got chronic nosebleeds for many years. I had dry ass, chronically dry skin for many years. Oh, yeah. It was probably early 20s that during winter I would stop getting regular nosebleeds

because it would just happen. From the time you were 12? Yeah, I was 12. I took it until I was like 13 and a half. So for like 10 years. Yeah, and it just dries your skin out to no – The dry skin would really bother me, but it would be nice not to ever have acne.

I got a pimple like three days ago like right here and it just hurt so goddamn much and i can't pop it i was literally driving and i popped it when i was driving and like i i was like i could i because like it was so like big and swollen that like sitting in my car seat hurt in there and i was i would ask you like i was like you know what mask to like i was like fuck you you motherfucker you're going down right here i was in tennessee and i did i i was it easy or was it no i was my my hand was shaking i was squeezing so hard sometimes they go super easy sometimes it's like oh my god this thing's oh it's like, oh my God, this thing's... Oh. It's like boom. All you need is a Coke. Right? Or not even... Yeah. Boom sounds like a lot.

It's just like... Just... Oh. Whatever. A little pressure, get the top off. If I see the beginning of a zit, it goes away immediately. Have you ever used... I bet I've had four pimples in the last 16 years.

I was about to ask Taylor if he'd ever used one of those blackhead removal tools, but of course not. I've got one of those. I never had to, yeah. It's got the loop on it like the hook and i use those on like stubborn like back pimples because like instead of like squeezing something it forever and ever you can you can just put this ring around it and push and it's like i know about this it's like fucking and it like it like cores it out and you can pull away the pus that was like my girlfriend it just like pushes down around it like a pin to puncture

yeah pin to puncture and then this like loop thing that pushed down on it and it's basically like like just a ring around it like a needle's eye but bigger yeah exactly exactly the acne that i get is almost always like there's like a hard nugget like like like like in there that sucks like it's not like liquid pus most of the time or or anything like that it's like there's like a fucking nugget of hardened like a little kernel of corn that's like in my fucking um pour that needs to be like squeezed out or like scratched out and once it's out it's over but like it's sometimes so far in that i use that goddamn tool and i'm just like i feel like one of those fucking guys in the saw movie trying to get a microchip out of the back of my neck or something trying to get the key on the opposite if i get acne it can be on my back

and the cause is always my hygiene wasn't what it was supposed to be that day like maybe i showered at night and then at night again, or like, like it just, I'm not nailing it, but in some way my showers were like 40 hours spaced. Yeah. And, uh,

especially if I'm like a bum and I spend time like laying down that day a lot, I'll just like my back or something. We'll have not like Kyle's big ones, many tiny ones. And I just have to be like perfect hygiene for five days or so. And it'll go. Yeah.

I get girls. Big ones. I get girls who are like friends of my wife and other ones. And it's happened for years where like I'll meet them and they're like, your skin is perfect. What did you do to get skin like that? And it's like, well, my mom inappropriately put on me on a high dose of Accutane at 12. That's a good line actually. Okay well it's it's looking good like I never have skin

problems ever. Well thank you very much by the way do you know anyone who has a liver to spare? You know anybody who has kidneys that aren't absolutely ruined by accutane? Because it wasn't until years after I was put on it that they're like, this shit's actually horrible for you. I think it was kidneys and liver that it's very bad for. That's what a lot of stuff is bad for. There's a lot of stuff. Like anything that you're taking things to another extreme with your body,

your kidneys and liver are the things that have to process that nonsense out, and they take the brunt of it. That makes the most sense. It's like, oh, that wild chemical you took, turns out it hurts the parts of your body that are dealing with wild chemicals like filter badness out yeah and and just like any other filter it doesn't like it kind of keeps it like it doesn't have an easy time the filters get clogged and feel no it's like an air filter the more fucked up your liver is the more it's's picking up. The liver is an awesome organ, though. That thing regenerates itself.

I always mix up liver and kidney. Why can't more things be like the fucking liver? He's a goddamn go-getter. I need my fingers to be like that. I need to regenerate. If I break a finger and it doesn't straighten, the doc should be like, all right, we're just going to chop this low nine bucks

and now it'll grow back. Why can't skin grow back the way it's back why can't skin grow baby binky first i don't know why i don't know why skin can't grow back like the way it's supposed to like it forgot how to make skin right no you're totally right i understand if like you lose a finger and you and like this part of your finger doesn't know how to grow that part of your finger but like how does the skin get burnt and it's like oh i forgot how to make skin again it's like you just made it in the first place kyle you made it in utero just where'd all the skin come from cocksucker if you didn't do it you don't have to make a little more like no you're so right like the the winner is the liver

real he's such a piece of shit for that that thing right there alone. When they burn, they'll look like they got all melty. I hate them because I'm not taller. I'd love to be like 6'11". I want to be so tall it's frightening, like biblically tall. I want to terrify everyone.

Bro, Shoenikes would have never spoke shit about you guys if you were all 6'11". Nobody said shit! Shoenikes would have still done it because he's a fucking loser that guy that actually that actually was a funny burn i like for a mentally ill for a mentally ill man to come up with such a such a joke that, such a riff on the spot with a little stupid brain that he has. Nailed us. That's fucking crazy. I was shocked.

Getting owned by a guy who just ate 12 ounces of cock. He ate the whole of his own shit. His brain is filled with shit bugs. His brain is filled with shit bugs. But he fucking clapped out bugs. Also, you guys are right.

But he fucking clapped out that bad boy on you guys. That guy is one of the most pathetic. Is he dead yet? No, he's killing it right now. He's not killing it. He's killing it. Where was he at? On TikTok or something?

He went somewhere else in his streams or his little clips or whatever. We're getting millions of hits. How does TikTok monetize? Well, in the long run, Woody, you build a following. I have no idea. No, they have a partner program if you're in the US and under certain

circumstances, but I don't think they just give that out to everyone. I don't think you want to shoot nice, though. You can't just be like some fucking knucklehead dumbass eating bowls of your own shit and expect to get their great deal every week kyle go ahead you zach says that every week shoonice claims that the reason he can't come on here is because of harley that's so... How did he uncover the truth like that? Who violated the circle of trust? Let me just say,

that's exactly the sort of thing I would think that a man who eats paint for a living might say. It's retarded. And the reason he's not on the show is because he's a mentally ill man who eats dog shit for a living. And we have standards here. Those are reasons to be on the show is because he's a mentally ill man who eats dog shit for a living.

We have standards here. There's no reason to be on the show. I get dissed from shooting ice quite well sometimes. Sometimes I'll get a view and it's like, hey, Sauce Boss, the views aren't so good anymore. Seems like people don't care

about you and Muscles Glasses. Well, maybe we work together on something. He sounds just a little like the trip-hearted Joker. I'm gonna eat this entire

container of cock. And you can't stop. Wanna know how I ate these scars? Well, there was a discussion way back in the day about that could potentially be a crossover with Harley and Shoenice. But then when Harley got in contact with Shoenice and realized that he was an actual crazy person.

I called him. I got his phone number and I called him. Elmer's glue or something. I really wanted to have a normal conversation. I called him and it was so fucking something. I really want to have a normal conversation. I called him and it was like, so fucking weird. I don't know guys. Check out the PKA clip from 11 years ago. I already know.

But yeah, one of the most recent videos is him eating catfish stink bait. And I know everybody here has no, no, not everyone here has fish for catfish or listeners. Certainly having it. Catfish stink bait is the most rancid, disgusting thing, and he's eating a 12-ounce tub of it.

You get them at Walmart. They look like nuggets. You got to get that guy TRT with a brain like that, bro. Look at you running for your money. Oh, we skipped over that. Way back when, Woody's on the cusp of, like, if he's going to continue being an optimized male, he's going to need a little TRT. But, Taylor, you could start now.

You could start now. I could just get my T to absurd levels right now. Look, just go ahead and, look, freeze your sperm. So you just got that. You got that on hand. And then you can just, you know and freeze your sperm. So you just got that. You got that on hand. And then you can just enjoy your life. I mean, the more you talk about it, the more convincing it is. It would be awesome to just be enormous.

Just fucking huge. Because I lift all the time. And so that wouldn't be a problem. I would just lift more. I wouldn't have to deal with soreness. You still get a little sore. Just not a tenth as much. You'll be better by tomorrow.

Yeah, you're better by tomorrow. You would get so big so fast. It would be shocking. It would be one of those like Barry Bonds type scenarios where you just suddenly... I'm not kidding. That's what I want. I those mark mcguire forearms you can have them i'm not even kidding like like it they cost like nine dollars a month or something like that this one is so fucking cheap i remember it was probably like i guess 1999 when mcguire was hitting all those homers and

like going for the record i remember like watching him play and seeing his forearms. Yes. Like flexing on the bat. And in my head, I was eating ribs as I was watching it. And I remember in my head for some reason thinking like, you have to eat enough ribs to be like Mark McGuire. Because he's clearly eating tons of like tough meats like ribs and so i just remember sitting there watching like 99 world series just or whatever it was

i was eating so many ribs just like i'm gonna be just like mark mcguire remember remember how those ribs made you feel because you thought that they were they were gonna turn you into mark mcguire when when you come to your senses late at night and you're in front of the refrigerator with with a turkey leg in one hand and a block of cheese in the other are you having those same feelings like i do i'm like i'm is it 1999 all over again and you're flexing your forearms it is i'm looking at my forearms almost i swear to God, I'm the first person to ever black out on cheese. Where you eat so much cheese you forget

and you don't remember and the next morning you wake up and you see half of the fucking holiday calendar your wife bought you gone. Did you really eat half the advent calendar? I ate a good bit of them, yeah. The fact that you ate that advent calendar. That's not how advent calendars work. I opened I didn't even go in order. I was like

I just kept eating the cheese and it was You picked my type. You're like Swiss? No. They're all surprises. They're all supposed to be surprises. You just went left or right or something. it was like eating those chocolates were like i would open i opened day 14 i'm like havardi like i love havardi and

then you open other ones and a block of swiss what she needs to get you another cheese advent calendar to give you a second chance yeah she needs to get you a fucking block of cheese you told her to do that yeah i said i want another advent calendar of cheese. Yeah, something happened to this one. Something, I think someone broke in and ate half of our advent calendar. It's called a smorgasbord and it's classy. I have a question for Harley. Harley, years

ago you were on the show and you had your girlfriend at the time with you and you told us about your death grip masturbation style. Do you remember this? I don't remember this specifically, but yeah, I've hurt myself many times. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah, you brought her in as a character witness to prove that you sometimes wound your dick.

Yeah, I hurt my dick. Yeah, did that ever have downstream issues? Like, you know, no pussy's as tight as your grip. downstream issues like you know no pussies as tight as your grip well like my dick skin is hard now it's like the

heel pad of like someone who walks outside with no shoes their entire life like a Kenyan runner people say that jerk off like masturbate with sad paper I'm like I could take a crack and i'm sure i could last five seconds before i feel something damn very calloused penis i got mad

no to be honest i'm better now i was getting mad at my dick for a couple years though yeah yeah i didn't have a good release these were my workout days though so i don't know like kyle you're not going off on your dick more now than you ever did before oh i well i mean the testosterone makes my sex drive like super high so i kind of feel like i'm like fucking 17 years old all the time yeah so i'm real horny all the fucking time you never make your dick bleed in front of the mirror uh it hasn't bled in a long long time i i came i came a drop of blood one time though like when i was like i don't know 12 or whatever i just had figured out masturbation i jerked off like 15 times in one day and like and like every load was like the first load wasn't that big

because i'm like 12 or whatever but but each load was smaller and smaller. Until it was just blood. Until I cranked out that final one. I've never told this story because I'm cringing right now. It is embarrassing. No, no, I'm not embarrassed at all. I'm not embarrassed a bit. It just grosses me out thinking about I clearly had torn my urethra.

From masturbation i'm wiggling around my chair right now because it's making me uncomfortable because this is true i did it and like a drop of blood came out when i can't i'm all right i gotta walk away that's that's terrifying i have a related story i was about the same age, maybe 15 or so, 16. We went to Las Vegas and somehow I had in my head, like Las Vegas is an outstanding place to masturbate. I have to make this happen. Like it's Sin City, right? My dumb ass doesn't know up from down. I don't know.

So I had a lot of like freedom to roam that like other kids didn't, even at like six and shit i think i could go anywhere and um as long as i came down when i came home when the sun went down so i'm 15 all by myself in las vegas just like wandering bad neighborhoods looking for masturbation opportunities i don't know exactly what i'm targeting or whatever and i find some kind of jack shack it's like a like a shed or something with pornos that you can play for a quarter. This isn't like a whole building or anything. They're like a public latrine almost that plays porno.

And I had enough quarters, so I gave it a go. But it wasn't like my – it wasn in an environment where i was good at masturbating right i didn't have anything to that pillow you fuck or whatever exactly i didn't have you smell or whatever weird thing you did when you were a kid all i can do and by the way i don't usually masturbate standing up so this is like a new thing for me. That was very hard for me to get into. Anyways, yeah, continue. Yeah. So I'm at the Jack Shack popping in quarter after quarter.

And, you know, I'm not a man who just quits at things. When I set my mind to something, there is a level of determination. You're going to bust. I am going to jack off. That's that autism dollop we were talking about two dollops over here so so i have i set my mind to this it's going to happen and i'm working it and i'm working it and i'm working it and at some point like i don't know where the shaft meets the head or something i have run out of skin i've run out of skin and now we're pretty much raw bleeding skin

fuck but you're not talking to a quitter right you know you know beat off through the pain and and honestly the pain made the uh climax even harder to get there but uh but i'm a man of willpower and i made it happen your penis bled and you kept beating off which which part of it was bleeding under the head i say the uh the widest part of the head the widest part of the head like the face of the head i'm sure the widest part of my head is different from the widest part of your head uh the jewish thing i don't know not jewish thing i just got like more of a rocket ship thing going on and I don't know if you got a mushroom.

More mushroom. You got more of a rocket ship? So yours is tapering towards the end? Yeah, my guy's got thick neck, thick head, little hat on top. Okay. I feel like Woody's is like... I've always thought mine was like everybody else's.

Like, I've never felt like it wasn't right. Well, I didn't think everybody was right. I didn't think mine wasn't right until you said it. I think I've noticed the variety. Like everybody in porn is like, I feel like mine stays the same length,

like girth throughout. Yeah. Mine goes, mine's pretty similar to that. I like that. But I just similar that like that but i just thought that like i've seen some people pop off on the top like i've seen some people on the top where i'm like bro that's a fucking mushroom straight out of like the mushroom kingdom well every once in a while you see those where like the guy he's got no girth game on the shaft of his

dick and then the top is like uh like a smurf house yeah yeah that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying that's what i that's what that's what's up yeah i have uh like it goes straight up and then the helmet the the top the head goes to like a point not a like a triangle but like it just points enough though i'm like all right just like a rocket ship okay like if you wanted to if you wanted to fuck a girl in the ass, this is a good penis to have. Because the entry point is. From what you're saying, it seems like a prime anal. Yeah, it's like you get in there.

You know what I'm saying? You get in there early. And then by the time she realizes it, we get in there early. By the time she realizes it's too much. I always consent and make sure she's comfortable 100%. I never do. While you're married, you can break all kinds of rules.

Technically, she's my property. Marital rape was... Marital rape was legal until not very long ago. I feel like you have standing consent. Right? She is just always consent.

Yeah. You feel that way. I've verbally given my wife to fuck me while I'm sleeping or blow me or whatever. Hey, if that is how you want to wake me, you have standing consent. I don't know if verbal agreements usually stand up in the court of law. Oh, they certainly don't. Well, you know, I had witnesses when I said it there. I was going there. The kids are there, too.

Ask anybody. It was Moe or Joe or Tim or Bob. Ask Hope. She's like, I just, I don't know why he demanded I stand in there. While he requisitions my mom for him? Ask George Foreman. There's two of them now. Are both of them in your house pretty often?

Soon. Right now, mom is on maternity leave, but soon she'll go back to work and we'll watch them. I don't believe in that. Maternity leave? Maternity leave, but soon she'll go back to work and we'll watch them. I don't believe in that. Maternity leave? I'm a huge fan of maternity and paternity leave. It hurts women. They need to match. If I'm looking at a 23-year-old woman,

I'm like, this woman is going to take so much time off over the next three years. You're absolutely right. You take it away from her. That's why you hire men. But if the man gets just as much time off or like kyle suggesting neither of them get time off there you go then you don't have to discriminate in your hiring practices that shit sucks like maternity leave and paternity

leave like you look at like the allotted amount of time in european countries even russia russia blows our pants off when it comes to understanding women having birth they're like yes you take a year and a half off you raise child you know future of russia very important you know you you focus on child we're like yeah two weeks idiot two weeks and then get back to fucking punching in meaningless numbers to be clear 10 work days 10 work days if you're smart you schedule the birth over christmas or thanksgiving stretch that shit that's another reason folks we don't go forth and multiply do not be fruitful save your fucking money invest it wisely just do a real i don't know what it is right now it's 2021 google how much a fucking kid

cost to raise to just 18 and forget college pretend like you can forget about all the inflation your kid's gonna be smarter if you get a scholarship real quick and you're not gonna yeah i don't know i think i think any of you guys would kill a family vlog if any of you did it if you committed to it you too woody you guys commit to family vlog people would love it dude your audience is growing up they're making babies now if i your audience was fat fucking idiots now they're all gonna have six packs so they're gonna get wives then they're gonna want kids they're following you guys every step of the way they're growing up this makes up. This makes sense. We're turning them into jizz machines with six packs. If ever I start a

family vlogging channel, I want someone to kill me. I want someone to send an assassin and just end it in the night. From your words to my ears, done. I honestly think you have a bad word. You got to get that family tiktok set up taylor don't

fuck around bro it's not all about you you got futures out here to think about i can't believe you're not into that taylor that would be so fun like especially if someone else handled production the the hassle would be the production like when i think about doing something like that it isn't like oh that'd be so intrusive it'd be no fun it's like fuck all of that production all those gopros and and all those cams and all those mics and all that audio and you know one day all the audio is gonna be bad and like you know that day's coming anybody who's ever like my children on camera that's another thing on camera i wouldn't want my wife i did i did a video because like we're channel we're all used to getting fucked with

all the time. All the time. But they're not, and I don't want to include them because it's a pretty brutal thing. You guys have kids out on... Don't make a vlog channel. You guys have kids out on playdates, and there's like grown men like, Rape Squad Killers! To like your children.

Who was I thinking about recently that had a thing? We're Rape Squad Killers. I couldn't get it off my head. It'll come to me. I'm sorry. Remind me of what we were talking about a second ago because I had a thing too that I also forgot. We were talking about family vlogging channels. Someone said that to me

at a Star Wars thing. They were like, Rape Squad Killer. Oh, shit. Don't do that. Don't do that, boys. We're the real sweet kids. What I was thinking about. So Scum, right? Scum, friend of the show, friend of ours. I really like Scum.

He's a good guy. Yeah. It took me a little while to get past his name. Like I made certain assumptions about what he would be like. You know his real name, right? Yes. But his online name that he chose maybe when he was 11 i have no idea uh i don't know it kind of stuck with me for a while i was like oh this is scum

probably keep my distance we call scum for short it's actually scamillionaire i that that doesn't mean anything to me all i have anything to me either but he's he's i he's i really really likes him i think he's a guy yeah i think i've known him That doesn't mean anything to me. It doesn't mean anything to me either. Which is why I'm calling him Scum. But I really like him. I think he's a good guy. Yeah, I think I've known him four or five years or something like that. Scum's a good guy. Whenever I started getting into games like PUBG,

and I started always on the show, I'd be like, fucking add me on Steam. I need players. I think maybe he came from that group. I could be wrong. But I've been playing with guys like him and Middy and those fellows for just a long time. In my opinion,

Scum's branding is right there with Rape Squad Killers. Absolutely terrible. He has it on every platform too. Hey, Twitch slash Kabillionaire, folks. Go check him out. He's not streaming. He streams less than me.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been playing some poker. I kind of want to stream some more poker because I've been having a good time recently. Do you lose more while you stream? You should, bro. My viewership was up when you were streaming. I think I do.

I'm not as good at anything when I'm streaming because there's a little bit of your thing that's with them. And I just don't perform as well at anything. I can't be focused. I can feel that my brain is like half over there and half over here. Tarkov is like, you can't read chat and talk to chat and play Tarkov as well as you can dedicated to the game. No, I don't know how landmark is so incredibly slick with it he doesn't talk with chat like a lot how he's so slick but but i mean he

does i mean talks he talks enough he talks enough that it's challenging what he's doing because he's at such a high level game gameplay wise i i would argue he doesn't miss much because i don't know i'm trying not to be an asshole as I say this, but because I know Landmark, he pays more attention to me than perhaps an average viewer. He never misses anything I write. Oh, yeah. He's a good guy.

I like Landmark. But the fucking stoned over here. Landmark, streaming, poker. Oh, yeah. I know. I've been having a good time in the poker um i i definitely don't win as much when i stream which is annoying because like it'll it'll go in this pattern where like i'll play privately and like have a great night it's like i went six hundred dollars or something and i'll be like man i wish i'd straight stream this like like this that would be cool to show people. So I'll stream the next night. And it would be like lose $400. And I'd be like, well,

this doesn't hurt too bad guys. Cause I won 600 last night. They're like, sure you did. And I'm like, so the next night I'm like, I was bullshit. They were mean to me. I'm going to just play by myself. And I went $700 and I'm like, God damn it. Should I turn the stream on now? And I like it just, just up and down um i i rarely i think i've won on stream once or twice um but when i play by myself i i played this i played this morning um i went up 600 and then back down um maybe 430 loss um i don't know if that makes sense. I went up a lot, and then I lost most of my gains for the day

is what happened today. But the day before yesterday, I won 1,100 roughly, something like that. I've been playing $1, $2, which is probably a little higher stakes than I should be playing. But it's a lot of fun, and it's kind of scary. little higher stakes than i should be playing um but it's uh it's a lot of fun and it's kind of scary but uh i i'm looking forward to a new video game or an old video halo's free that's a new game and an old game in one and it's free how do you like it i fucking love it i'll tell you why i love

it it's like it feels like the old days it It feels like Halo 3 in the best way or whatever your best. Like, you know, sometimes you're like, oh, I remember something how it is. And you're like, oh, that's not how I remembered it. I remembered it different from how it really was. This plays like how you remembered Halo being. It's obviously optimized in some ways, and they wanted to release it last year, and they didn't. It came out this year. So it's obviously optimized in some ways and they wanted to release it last year and they didn't it came out this year so it's super polished and i mean battlefield's out i'm not here talking about battlefield because i've heard bad things expensive and not yeah not all good

things um but i'm telling you call of uh no halo is so good i really think it's awesome i've seen some footage guys no i've seen some footage it No, I've seen some footage. It looks fun. I definitely want to play the campaign. Does it matter that I haven't played the last couple of Halos as far as the campaign goes, do you think? No. Halo 3, right?

Who cares? I'm kind of annoyed that they kept going with the story anyway because it really just wrapped a bow on itself in Halo 3. With what? The story, like Master Chief's story. I felt like bow on itself in halo 3 with what the story like master chief story i felt like it was ended in halo oh yeah yeah me too and then in halo 4 they did a thing with cortana that i was like oh okay that's a good way to end it then halo 5 i was like don't

do this but now where they go with this one like i always liked the enemy and this one it's the banished i like that i hate these i hate i hate fucking shooting robots and video games i can't describe it i just need to feel like this game i'm taking a soul from something it needs i don't want to break something yeah i don't want to break something i want to kill something yeah and i want it to hurt oh and not to knock on battlefield because it's not all bad like if you look at this link i just sent you right now, this is from the new Battlefield. Tell me this isn't fucking awesome.

Tell me this isn't awesome. This is from the new Battlefield. Is it single player or multiplayer? It includes modes from Battlefield 3 and from Bad Company. This is single player, right? You've probably played this 11, 12 years ago. What I like about this is it reminds me of when like 11 12 years ago but it just what i like about this

is like it reminds me of like when you used to play with like on the u.s like on the americans like their fucking lines they're like i'm getting fucked in the ass over here what the fuck and it was like so good and now you play battlefield and they're like ha bitch you can't hit me ha ha or like some shit and i i can't i don't really i can't stand it i don't really like everything the decisions they made and then i look at this battlefield 3 clip which is in battlefield 2042 but i'm and i look at this i'm like you fucking idiots this looks all we wanted was some shit like this you already had things that were fixed years ago but you want to be like valorant and overwatch and call of duty you want to make

all the money like halo i get it people complain about the progression and unlocking shit the game's free so shut the fuck up it's free be a default badass i think it's pretty cool when people have the default skin and kill it in the game. It's a statement in itself. But like Battlefield, you don't get to charge people $125 for the fucking game. And the best part about the game is playing the mode where the game is just 12 years old. And I look at it, I'm like, this is awesome. This looks great. I love how this plays.

But they just made decisions, man. Big money decisions. I always thought of battlefield is like the more adult of the shooters like like it like call of duty seemed like it was for like 13 or 14 or 15 year olds but battlefield seemed like it was more for like young adults like i don't know 18 20 year olds or something like that call of duty booted up you're gonna get a kill you will get a kill in call of yeah i don think even Halo, like a lucky grenade maybe or something. For sure.

But Battlefield was just like, bro, shooting these guns are going to suck. You know what else was really hard? Gears. I was so shitty at Gears that I had to stop playing. It was like, this isn't fun ever. Even if, I bet if I went and played COD now, it'd be a little rough, but eventually we'd get in the swing of it. We'd win some games.

I've never been any good at Gears. I was always so awful at Gears that it was embarrassing. I think Gold Glove was a Gears specialist. Those guys who could pop heads. Yeah, people did the notes. Yeah, I know. You roll at them and they shoot your head

off. What the fuck? They would time the shot. It was like, you were upside down when you pulled the trigger. oh my god you like roll at them and they shoot your head off like what the fuck and they would time the shot it was like you were upside down when you pulled the trigger like killed getting two piece their headshot and gears was just very embarrassing as well like i don't get hurt in games like i get it people are good you have your game sometimes you know but gears it was a pop and like blood everywhere and your character models there added in like maybe gears three like they had the finishing moves where you'd like flip the guy over and fucking stomp his face and keep or keep punching his head over and over again

for like a minute it was brutal as fuck and like yeah i i love the like gears again the trilogy of the story like like the single player thing but god damn i was i was pitiful at that didn't i play the portal shooting halo portal shooting game with you guys didn't yeah yeah yeah but taylor fucking ripped that up that's why taylor you have to install halo you have to need to play halo you played though you played the portal shooting game when i remember you were doing so well i was like this fucking idiot's a fucking liar, bro. He's out here gaming. You're like 15 and 2 or something. I'm a natural.

I'm a natural at that one. That one was funny. We were playing... It's like a Halo portal game. Oh, Splitgate. Splitgate. We were playing Splitgate and Kyle and a couple other people were like, we're pretty good at this. And I joined. And I swear to God,

I had the best kill death over four games. I was, I was dominating. And all it was, was that like, I was hyper conservative and I would kind of guard the base. And, and that was it.

Like you see somebody popped down, just doing it, bro. That's why you got to get, I was so fucking bad. Like we had practiced the day before like me and finster yeah but also everyone was harassing you about your six-pack and stuff you had a lot of you were answering a lot of questions then no matter how bad you

are at splitgate you're still jacked yeah you instantly were like i got a six-pack now you fucking nerds i did not j say that. Fucking gamer bitches. No, that's literally what he said. Harley's right. Yeah. I threatened to beat up a guy too. I'm going to find you. I'm going to kill you.

No, but I was legitimately awful at it when we were actually streaming. It was embarrassing. But like the day before, like I'll say this. I had played well enough the day before that I felt comfortable streaming the game and then I played poorly enough when we streamed the game that I've never played the game again. But the day before it was like, okay, I

break even most of the time. I go negative occasionally and sometimes I do really well. This'll work. And it didn't go like that when I was streaming at all. It was real bad. It was real bad. It was real bad. It's a good game, though. It's an interesting concept. I like the portal shit with the

portals and everything. I liked playing Portal 2 with you on our stream. I didn't really like that. We started off very slow, but we started getting the groove. Yeah. I think I was fucked up when we were doing that. I might have been drunk or something. I don't even know. I was just... I hated that. I didn I was fucked up while we were doing that. I might have been drunk or something.

I don't even know. I hated that. I didn't hate it as much as when we played. Well, you know, if I'm streaming, what time, what does the clock tell me when and what to do? That's true. That was like your 10pm. He's got his version of what 3pm

is and I got mine. His versions? He doesn't know what time zone i'm mentally in yeah he's mentally japanese it's fucking margaritaville over here i do what i want uh but but yeah i i didn't like that but i despised borderlands borderlands was so i was blown away at how much you dislike borderlands i fucking hated it people are like when are you gonna to stream with the PK? I'm like, whenever they ask me, but it's not fucking Borderlands, bro.

Don't worry. It won't be. I'll tell you what. It was just not. The netcode was so weird, though. It was like lagging. It was weird. Here's what we can do, though.

And this is an invitation to all of you or any of you. But that new Vermintide game, that's name I keep forgetting over and over, the 40K Vermintide game. Rising Tide or something. Black Tide? Something Tide. Dark Tide?

Dark Tide? Dark Tide? Dark Tide. It's Dark Tide, not Darkman. That's a different game. Dark Tide. Warhammer 40,000. Dark Tide. It's Darktide. Not Darkman. That's a different game. Darktide. Warhammer 40,000. Darktide. Liam Neeson. So I got delayed to the

spring. Liam Neeson's Darkman. But what I'm definitely going to do leading up to its release is for a solid couple of weeks at least, get back into Vermintide and get my skills polished up. And so that would be a good time for anybody else who is going to also

want to play that game to to goof around with me a little bit because i'm going to play the fuck out of that game it looks i really hope it's not a letdown um if they just made it as addictive as their previous game as vermintide is then i'm so sold because like i played the shit out of vermintide i i thought about playing it the other day but i didn't have it installed that's a it is going to be a disappointment that's how the gaming industry works now I played the shit out of Vermintide. I thought about playing it the other day, but I didn't have it installed. It is going to be a disappointment. That's how the gaming industry works now. Be prepared for a disappointment,

and you'll be really happy when you get not such a bad disappointment. Yeah, I don't know. They did a really good job with the first game, and they're still releasing content for the first game, like good content and patches and DLC and stuff. Along those lines, if they release a bad game there's a good chance they make it good bad i believe that's what they do that's how they do it yeah but but the fact is yeah some people don't give a shit fat shark has like they're just always adding new stuff they seem to genuinely care about their little community and it is a small community like more people need to get into Vermintide.

That game is so fucking good. Vermintide is awesome. I love it. I love killing those fucking rats. It's better than Left 4 Dead, and I really like Left 4 Dead. Left 4 Dead's simpler, and Vermintide has more to it in the way that you can dodge and play, and there's a higher skill

ceiling. There's a higher skill ceiling, and it allows you so so like in left for dead no matter how good you are you can't play solo you can't leave the group because one of those like special characters is gonna get you like they had a whole ai designed about that to like the ai focused on a person who's either the weakest or the lowest ammo or the furthest from the group and they always did that and ammo or the furthest from the group. And they always did that and they prioritized furthest from the group. Yeah, there's a mode on the Xbox version anyway

where you could listen to the developers talk about why the game is the way it is and they really wanted to enforce teamwork. Yeah, whereas in Vermintide, teamwork is usually more of a good idea. However, an elite player is totally capable of leaving the group behind and soloing anything and everything the game can throw at them. An elite player, not me.

But I've seen it done. Videos of it. There's guys who play it. They've modded the game to create much, much more difficult levels. We cannot consistently beat it on the standard difficult level, which is called Cataclysm, I think.

We can't beat that consistently. Like me and my best group. But they've made a level that's like eight times harder or some shit. It's like... Fuck that. So we thought, we've already got this impossible mode. So maybe we'd double it and then, and then just triple that and see what people thought.

And, and, and, and it's like, what do they think? They thought yawn. Cause these guys are like fucking Kung Fu masters playing the fucking game. Like,

like everything's coming at them, like Neo and the matrix. And they're just fucking blocking it while killing everything. it's fun to watch those guys play at that speaking of that i'm fucking hyped for the new matrix movie i'm gonna do a rewatch of like the whole trilogy this week i'm watching read the script online apparently i don't want to know i avoided i watched like eight seconds of a teaser that came out today and it was really fucking good they were using flash they were using clips from the old movie and like intersplicing like that with or juxtaposing it rather with with like the new movie uh in the trailer and it was like the whole deja vu clip he's like he sees the

cat he's like i just saw saw the same cat like deja vu is when you change something in the matrix and then they show a clip of him like in the new movie like having a similar similar thing going on it was it was a really good clip uh him coming out of the goo bath uh in the first movie and in the current movie i'm hyped for this thing i really hope he did a good job i saw popular opinion kiana moves doesn't have any more good movies in him did i say kiana reeves properly anyway yeah he's done with good movies like john John Wick, the first one was good. It was really good. I liked it. I think the John Wicks have fallen off.

And from now going forward, it's just going to be disappointing Matrix, disappointing Bill and Ted, disappointing something else. I disagree. You wouldn't even say that to his face. Uh-uh. I totally would. No, you wouldn't even say that to his face. And you know what?

If you did, he'd be like, hey, man, that's cool. You're entitled to your opinion. I would take Keanu Reeves and a bear at the same time. You'd only beat Keanu Reeves. The bear would fuck you up. Taylor, who do you think would win in a fight, Keanu Reeves or Woody?

Given Woody's grappling, I'm going to say Woody. I don't know if he has any grappling or mma training and all it really takes is someone like understanding wrestling a little bit i'm gonna go out of line someone way i'm gonna make the controversial call i think keanu reeves can beat up woody he i don't know how big he is well what are you guys talking about is this serious bro i would beat the shit out of him. Sign the contract, Keanu. Sign the contract, bro.

Keanu Reeves, I would dominate him. Bro, I box now. I'll beat up Woody. Speaking of cowards. What's he going to do? What's he going to do? Is he going to... Is he going to nightmare Sanchez

and his latest lie to escape fighting me? He's in a hospital bed with makeup on, pretending like he has pneumonia so he doesn't have to like live up to his end of the contract he's not like this respirator thing but if you look closely it's like ear pods with the wire coming it's it's so he's lying and you would fuck him up and i think we all say shame on you for faking an illness like pneumonia. Everyone needs to go and shame Diego Sanchez for faking this illness because he's bringing shame and disgrace on every person out there who has had to face this. And everyone who's had a loved one that they've lost.

He's bringing shame on his entire family there are people out there who are legitimately suffering it's like hang on a minute he might die he might die and this is all gonna look bad oh is he actually like really sick yes oh yeah he is in a hospital

sometimes I actively sometimes I actively blank face in case this ends up being a clip years later. The problem that Diego's going to face is COVID is rough on people with obesity problems, and he's not where he used to be. You call Diego the Nightmare Sanchez fat. Yeah. Only because I've seen his pictures, though.

People with COVID pneumonia, they turned a bit of a chunker well all i know is that he stood no chance before he had covid pneumonia so at this point i think it's very clear who i'm thinking about showing up at the hospital and like roughing him up a little he has pneumonia pneumonia is like fucking serious i'd wear a mask i got one of those uh like like walter white deals but like just go in there with that i'll pretend like i'm like fucking serious. I'd wear a mask. I got one of those Walter White deals. Just go in there with that. I'll pretend like I'm a hospital employee. I rough him up a little. Nothing serious. Like a noogie.

No, no, no. You got to get good enough. Good old-fashioned fun. The referee declares you winner by something. I bring my own referee, though. I show up wearing stripes. Should I bring an announcer? Like a Bruce Buffert type guy? Bring my own referee, though. I show up wearing the thing. Should I bring an announcer? Like a Bruce Buffert type guy?

Yes. It's time for Kyle, someone without pneumonia, to fight the toughest man with pneumonia in the world. What the fuck? What the fuck? And I'm on him.

It's time for the homosexual fighting championships between Kyle Miles and this homo I'm choking him with a fucking IV here's the homosexual fighting championships like oh Shoenice is rushing the ring we got Shoenice rushing the ring we got two nights

rising the ring he's got a bowl of shit no he's sitting down in the homosexual fighting league anytime there's blood they're like stop it stop the match stop the match oh jesus this is an hiv joke well exactly what i was talking about by the way this is one of those moments you know diego is in the hospital though so that so you know we're all over well you know we're the first ones to say r.i.p that's exactly where i was heading uh i was just gonna say that we're all just hoping you die jesus christ no we need someone to be threatening you for not really though i really i guess i don't I was just going to say that we're all just hoping you die. Jesus Christ. No, we need someone to be threatening you for you. Not really, though.

I guess I don't actually have anything against him, do I? This is just a bit from the start, right? Yeah. I always enjoyed watching him fight. You get a little silly. Diego Sanchez, I hope you don't die. I hope it all pulls through for you. But don't tell him that I'm not serious, though.

It's a lot funnier if he keeps being fucking weird and thinking I'm for real about all this. It's hilarious. Show him, like clip it in a way that it's weird. All right, I'm overdue for overeating. You guys want to call the show? PKA. Oh, oh, Harley, you got anything you want to pimp? Oh, go to twitch.tv slash HarleyPlays. Sometimes I talk about the PKA guys. Okay. Yeah,

I like when I get your notifications. It's like whenever you go live, I get your notifications. So follow Harley. He has funny notifications, and he has great streams. Follow him on Twitch. PKA 570.