Painkiller Already - PKA 577 w/Tucker: Misspelling Quiz, Woody’s New Pants, Italian Jesus

Episode Date: January 8, 2022

pka 577 with our guest jericho always a winner taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew lucy and lock and load the best comes in the entire world check them out also use code pka for anything else you get from guerrillamind.com high quality products over there so when i saw you with a guest i was pretty psyched. Tucker shows are always good ones. We've had a couple good guests lately. Thanks in part to Hotload Zach. I appreciate that. Some new guests.

I feel like we've been on a bit of a hot streak guest-wise. Let's not jinx it. Yeah. This is unironically the worst episode you guys have had in a long time. I just get up and leave. No, we got that out of the way the other day. I forget how many weeks ago it was, but we had in a long time. We got that out of the way the other day. I forget how many weeks ago it was, but we had a

below average episode. You can't win them all, I'll tell you that much. Not every episode can be the best one we've ever made. You can't have a truly tremendous episode if there aren't some stinkers in the bunch. Right, because then the average is just way too high. Honestly,

it's a good ego check for the show to suck a little bit. It is. Even Mark McGuire had to cheat sometimes. Well, all the time. That, I doubt, is true. That he cheated? Mark McGuire, yeah, he's definitely on steroids. 100% was on steroids.

Are you sure? I don't agree. Woody thinks Jon Jones is on steroids, though. Mark McGuire cheated. This is like an undeniable. I was only like 10 years old when I would go to Cardinals games and see him. And one time we sat down real close to the dugout, and I remember seeing all the other baseball players,

and I'd been to hockey games. And so I'd be like, these guys don't look that tough compared to hockey players and then i saw big mac walk out there he that was at that time in my life at like nine that was the biggest man i'd ever seen in my life he was a brick to this day i remember seeing his forearms and like he had like five different striations in it like there weren't even there aren't even that many striation lines of muscle in your forearms. He added some extra ones. I worked at a place called Leon's Men's Store while Mark McGuire was hitting all those homers.

This is relevant because at this men's store, I knew my hat size. When I learned the circumference of his forearms, and they were pretty much the same, it was like, the fuck? His forearms are my human skull he's got a seven and a half inch

diameter jesus christ yeah he was he's definitely you know it's it's kind of weird because when you say mark mcguire the first thing that mentally pops up is not a picture of his face, but a close-up of his bloody ankle, right? That's not him. That's a different guy. Are you thinking of Curt Schilling, by chance? Oh, I am thinking of Curt Schilling. You're right. Completely different guy.

I heard that sock is in the Hall of Fame. Is it really? I think so. Well, you know, clearly Curt Schilling not that famous, if I'm conflating the two. Yeah, that's what happened. One of the two, whether it was – This is Curt Schilling, not that famous. I'm conflating the two. Yeah, that's what happened. One of the two, whether it was... This is Curt Schilling's fault.

It is. Yes, yes. Curt Schilling is infamous. One of those two people moved across the street from my friend's house in high school, and they invested in a video game company, and it went bankrupt really quickly. That's Curt Schilling. Is it Schilling yeah yeah all right so who the i i remember seeing mark mcguire so mark mcguire was a big guy he had a

lot of home runs yeah no i remember i saw him play versus sammy sosa in the in chicago that was the one year yeah i ever sosa cards and cubs that was fun out of all the cheaters he's by far my favorite like the three big ones like barnes john jones fan That was fun. Out of all the cheaters, he's by far my favorite. Like the three big ones, like Barnes. You're a John Jones fan. No, I'm talking about baseball cheaters. He's my favorite cheater of all time. Oh, this guy. Yeah, I totally remember his facial hair.

My favorite cheater of all time is that guy who memorized all of the things on that 1970s game show and fucking ran it. That is the top cheater of all time. That's number one cheater guy. That guy's fucking awesome. Second only to the guy who memorized all the prices for the items on Price is Right and then

also ran the show. I like the one... I forget the name of it. You might remember. While you play, you say no whammies, no whammies, no whammies and then hit the thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. The spinning game. Okay, so he memorized the pattern that

the blocks would go to and he didn't go for the best one he went for the least risky one and he just played he could like i like this yeah it was called press your luck there's a whole like yes there's an old opium anthony like video and a you can find where they like make fun of it as it's happening and like apparently once he got the top prizes for this show twenty five hundred three thousand dollars if you got a trip to hawaii valued at five thousand dollars you won big that day and this guy was like playing it like a magic the gathering combo he was stacking vacations he had like he had like 60 000 in 1971 or whatever and like the entire back end of the show were panicking because he got to 110 000 they don't have 110 000 to give people that's the entire next year's budget of all all gifts and so you want 110

that number is actually right yeah i remember it yeah110,000, and they made a rule that he personally could never come back. I choose to believe that Taylor's intelligence is autism. That's where I'm going. It is. Just remembering things from... If there was an old Opie and Anthony clip on long division or on algebra, I would have done better in middle school. But alas, no way.

Yeah, I love when people get the best of game shows which can't really happen anymore like it's all randomized they're too good now it was because like back when we had norm who was just like really good at board games kind of a nerd designing the show right much easier to figure out but now i mean these things and they have insurance for the shows too so like literally the payouts aren't network tv is not giving you a million dollars network tv is like fuck the one in ten happen all right give us the million dollars we'll give it to them and here's your you know whatever kickback so um it's it's it should have insurance as i think about it

like the the show shouldn't be incentivized to control the outcome. The show shouldn't hate it when people win or love it. It should be a little more honest. Well, they have insurance for any of those $50,000 half-court shots. All those things are probability insurance. And they just shop it around and find one company who's like, yeah, sure, we've done the math here. Stop it around and find one company who's like, yeah, sure, we've done the math here. We had Tony in the back.

Look at the probability of a fat woman crushing a soccer ball 80 yards into the small hole. Some of the ones they would wheel out for the Baltimore Blast indoor soccer arena. I was like, you guys are really just, maybe you guys don't have insurance. Because they'd be like, stand at half field. We've got this person in a wheelchair she's gonna kick the ball through the perfectly sized soccer ball hole 15 feet up and you're just like i play soccer love the sport no shot i'm doing that a thousand times there's no way can someone else hockey one can they give her a running start yeah but like the hockey ones are a little bit more 2d right like puck goes on flat okay that's

a fair point on the 2d thing um and it also isn't exactly the size of the puck there's usually a little space but here's the trick like i feel like i could make that shot one in five one in ten something like that if if the ice were clean but it's not the players have just played there for a period and there is like snow piles and shit that you're sliding the puck through it it's tough that would be hard the video i remember with the hockey one is some grandma getting it by sheer luck right which is always great good to see yeah i have it if you've never like held a hockey stick before you would find yourself less competent than you predict. It's a different kind of motion. Even if you've played like golf, it doesn't,

it's not the same level of like, I would, I, if I got to choose my ideal sport, right. With, with soccer, which I played for ages,

even in my prime, if you had given me a target that's like five feet up and roughly the size of the soccer ball, it's just like even if I'm spot on 100% of the time, it's still going to rim out half of the time. It's just too small of a hole. It should be the other way. Instead of a hole, you should have to hit it.

Oh, like a target. Then they just keep throwing money at people. Here's your $5,000 in your discount to morgan stanley's like group i don't know dude i was in an environment not long ago and people started throwing the football around i'm like sitting on a bench nervous hoping they don't throw it to me you know i was a swimmer right like all of us can't throw and catch. It's not even throwing and catching. I can throw and catch every other ball. I can not throw and catch a football.

I cannot throw a football. My hands aren't big enough. I can throw a baseball. Great at that. I can kick a soccer ball. I can catch a football. I cannot throw a football, nor can I accurately shoot a basketball. There's just something about the amount of different angles my body needs to work

to accurately throw a basketball shot up. It's just not in my bones. There were girls throwing the football around, two of them. They both threw spirals. Oh, no. What the fucking way am I going next? Oh, no. What more do we have if they're taking football from us

have you ever seen that gif on reddit of the chick in the street and she fucking backs up like three steps and fucking chunks of football like a hundred goddamn yards every dude on the block the block is full of people it's college kids party and every dude there is just like whoa like she threw it so fucking far and hard. And I can throw one to the point, like if you're 15 yards away, but I can't make it do the spiral thing and go 30 or 40 yards accurately. Never. We can come like a one-inch.

I didn't go to school for that. If you're 10 yards, I've got a fighting chance of making it spiral or spiral-ish. But if it's 30 yards, like you said, you're going to think I kicked it. And it's never going to be that tight spiral with any mustard on it. That ain't ever happening. In seventh grade football, it was the first year I'd ever played. And it was the first year pretty much anybody played. And so they were having little like, all right, go over there.

And all the coaches are in their different stations. Like the big fat kids, it's like, all right, go over there. And the coaches are in their different stations, like the big fat kids. It's like, go to the defensive line guy. Or just not like we had to own defensive coaches. Go to the line guy. Go to the dad that volunteered to do linesman because he played in high school too. And then if you wanted to see how well you could throw it. And up to this point in my life, all my sports that I played seriously is hockey, 100%.

And so I wanted to go see if I could throw it. And I threw it so badly. I should have known after watching the guys in front of me throw it like man it's like it's like these guys have done this before right just now and i threw it and immediately he's like taylor you're tight end go meet up with him so i got to be i got to be a tight end which i can explain to me they explained to me as such a really exciting position where they're like, it's multifaceted. You're like a Swiss Army knife. But it's like we're also playing middle school. And so you're going to get a pass to you once this year. You're basically a nimble blocker.

And we're going to throw you in front of faster kids. And you're just going to stand there. i was the least fat fat kid and so that's a big guy who's hard to tackle i kind of want to give you the ball and see how many guys it takes to bring you down also that was their thought also my i had the most success as a wide receiver i was the biggest wide receiver in the league by a good bit and like i just would dominate these cornerbacks but it was once again maybe one pass was thrown to me every two games because you just don't run a passing game in middle school it's all just running right every single thing every single thing when they were running in like and i was playing defense we didn't have a lot of players

so i played everything and so i played uh uh what the fuck is it linebacker yeah i played linebacker on defense and every single play you just hear people yelling sweep it's another sweep and so then it'd be like every play give it what are they gonna do this time coach i think they're gonna give it to their fastest kid again and it's gonna be a sweep yeah because listen by quarter three i never played football but by like quarter three i'm looking at even like the fit guys i'm like oh he's gassed if he gets four four yards beyond the line of scrimmage he's scoring a touchdown like there is nobody capable of chasing down the skinny kid it's like a player on those teams so that right that's the energy in the fourth quarter which is why it was so funny to me that like i had a couple friends who transferred off the soccer team when they

realized that they weren't technically good enough or like or like stamina wise there for soccer but they could kick the ball pretty decently. And if they got called on the one in every three games, because you go for it on fourth and 17, right? Or like fourth and goal, no matter what, you're not kicking a field goal because your best field goal kicker and the guys who are supposed to hold the ball, there's a lot of things that go wrong at the professional level, and it's certainly going wrong in middle school and high school.

People who kick the ball, period, rarely get it, but that was all the kids would leave soccer. They'd go over there and then it's just like, what do you do well? Kick the ball really far. If you ever want to punt it, that's what I'm here for. I really

like high pressure jobs. I can't think of one that's all right so there's life there's jobs where your life is on the line of course right but but but nfl kicker has this special place where his life is kind of on the line if he misses a few of these in a row he's out of the league yeah that's all it takes like maybe three in a row and that'd probably be it if we think about it, like three medium ones. It's even more – I am biased because I'm a Ravens fan, so I have literally the greatest kicker of all time on my team currently. What's his name?

Justin Tucker. How old is he? He's not who I'm thinking of. Is he one of the older guys? Perfect. I like that about kickers too. Those guys in their 40s, they're the prime. Yeah.

The pressure doesn't get to him anymore that's what i'm thinking of yeah adam vinatieri was the other one that everybody like there's a couple others like dan bailey and and like yeah even uh like greg's the leg i can't remember his name the guy who previously had the longest field goal um wait did he have a fucked up foot no there was a guy who had a half foot that kicked with a special flat boot and he would just toe it. And he had the longest for a while. My high school gym teacher was in that play.

He was on that team. Yeah, he was like, I don't know what he was, a lineman or something. But yeah, he was part of that field goal kick. That was so, I'm pretty sure that was like 62 yards and it was the longest for ages. And then some Lions guy kicked it 65 yards. And then this season, Justin Tucker kicked it 66 yards. And it's just like watching these people, and he did it for the win too,

but like watching any kicker after you've seen the other side where you had kickers miss it from 23 yards, like shanking it, just like unprovoked errors. And to have somebody who is objectively the best at their game, like I sit, it's been 10 years now almost, and every morning I wake up and I pray to the God that gave me that kicker because it's just, I can't imagine being consistently good at anything for that long, 10 years, where you're just capable of 50 yards

and it's for the game. And you're right, if you miss a couple of those people say you might want to move on i think vinitary came back maybe not him somebody came back out of retirement and missed a bunch of shit last season and it removed him from like top three most accurate and put him at like number seven and he was like oh that's a big yeah and he's like he's like all right, that was probably, maybe I should have done that. He probably had plenty of money. They're NFL contracts at the end of his.

Have you guys ever tried to kick a field goal or a free kick? Yes, but it's hard. How did it go? The guys who actually did it would practice. While we did gym, they didn't have to. If they were on the football team, they could run drills. So they would be over there kicking it. And I tried to kick. they were doing field goal practice

like first and goal like the extra point that's what i mean to say and i just couldn't figure out the elevation and the windage i could get one or the other it would go straight and not high enough or it would go high enough but wide um I only tried like half a dozen times or something. But also, the approach is more awkward than you might think. Like figuring out where you want your left foot to be when you drive your right foot and when to start pulling your right foot back. I don't know. It was a bit of a dance. And the worst part, too, I think about all this because a lot of this,

because we oftentimes, because our field was next to the football field, is we'd have water breaks and they'd have water breaks and somebody would run over and beg, hey, hold it real quick. Let me hit a let me hit a field goal. And most of the time, even though you could conceptually hit the ball hard in the direction you wanted to go, you're right. The run up was weird. Sometimes your friend would like run at you and you're now you're like looking at the guy running at you and there's 11 of those dudes on the other side and you have to make sure you're kicking it above these people while not getting hit it's like a lot of trust and a lot of other people to make sure that you can just hit the ball straight and that's why it's hard

i think there are a couple humans who can hit like 70 yard field goals in a perfect environment you know like indoors uh without an offensive line perfect hot yeah holder but but almost no one can do it during a game because and i think maybe arch it higher and then it's called defense for a reason you know and i don't know if you've ever noticed like seeing the how the defense like especially in clutch situations are just diving as high as they can and get their hands in the air that ball is moving it breaks their fingers sometimes yeah you can see is that a thing that happens yeah absolutely yeah you're doing if they like barely touch the ball it like or if it jams their finger like that ball is fucking moving the gloves that you used to have as uh like when you're in middle school for soccer if you were a

keeper would have reinforced ridges on the back so your fingers wouldn't bend backwards if you got a shot ripped at you and it just rules on those gloves like is there any reason i can't come out with like giant number one foam hands oh like time or pine tar or whatever johnny big hands again pack it up kids let's go to pizza hut we're not playing today that's a good question i don't know if there's like there are rules around hockey goal or hockey goalie pad sizes for a while they just look like the state pop marshmallow man in there with their giant it's good they made rules against that eventually because it was ridiculous on the the last thing on the field goal kicking like i said in middle school can you name a player for zach to pull up oh uh fuck what's the name of the uh the tampa bay lightning goalie uh uh

giguerre g-i-g-u-e-r-e uh john john something giguerre but anyway, yeah, I think he's French Canadian. A lot of players are. But yeah, my middle school football team, we were so short on positions. Like I said, I also was the kicker. And the way that started is because early, one of those first practices, the coach, looking back, this coach had no interest in being the football coach. He just was the gym teacher there, didn't really care. And just like all right everybody line up so and so is gonna hold it right there on the yeah that guy when he goes when he would go down he had his jersey tie or his

chest protector tied up so when he went down it stayed the same height so it just rose to his ears and they were like this is fucking absurd but he he did really well because he, you know, he did what he could. What an asshole. He did well. Hey, man. Quack. So like one of the first days of football practice, he was like, all right, everybody go kick, you know, and we're going to see who naturally can do this. And I got, I think, two or three in a row.

First time ever trying it like extra point. No one was making them. You know, they were shanking it and I hit it and I was like, first time ever trying it. Like, extra point. No one was making them. You know, they were shanking it. And I hit it, and I was like, maybe I am a natural at something with football. Got, like, three in a row. I'm over the moon. I'm so excited. And he's like, you're the kicker.

And I'm like, all right, fucking tight end, wide receiver, linebacker, kicker. I'm the whole thing. He's got mass. And that's what matters there's 17 of us if taylor doesn't show up i can't play i'm not acting like i was some ringer a lot of us were wearing a lot of hats because they were like 16 17 guys on the team and then like we got kind of our positions assigned to us in the next practice he's like all right when we score a touchdown extra point you know we're gonna run that right now a few times

so you guys know how to protect Taylor when he's kicking. And I thought in my head, I was like, I just do what I did the other time. Don't think about it and just kick it. And I swear to God, I missed a dozen, like, in a row, to the point that, like, like seven of them the coach like came over and was like come on just just kick it man just kick it and he's and like i i could see how exasperated he was as an adult because i felt like i was going to get in trouble and i kept missing missing missing he should he should have been like clearly this kid got three lucky kicks

last practice he doesn't know what he's doing. You ever played football? No, I've played hockey my whole life. Okay, so you're probably not a natural. At one point, like after maybe a dozen of them, he just comes over and he goes, what do you do? I still remember exactly the intonation of his voice. Everybody on the line on both scrimmage sides

staring back at me because we can't move on from this drill because I can't make one because he's like, we're doing the drill until he makes one and we secure the extra point. The defense is barely pressuring anymore. You know, just to give me gas. They're just like the line is up. They're doing it. Oh, all right.

All right. Come on. Try to deflect it in. It was horrible. It was horrible. But no one else could still kick well, and so they moved me off of that, and I just did place kicking instead. Oh, no, they still let you kick.

Distance wasn't the problem, just any sort of accuracy whatsoever. Accuracy. I did a lot of unintentional onside kicks. None of them panned out. Oh, topped that one. Right there. What if you coached with that as well? Like your first kickoff, you get an onside kick.

You guys immediately recover. He's like, holy shit, we're starting the game with possession. All right. All right, we're good here. Taylor covered his own onside kick. See, that boy, Taylor doesn't need leadership. He just knows what to do. It's a fun part of the show's

history that you hit puberty at 8 and had a beard at 10 and I hit puberty at 18 and had a beard at 22. And I hit puberty at 18 and I can't grow a beard. Well, if you would have hit puberty earlier, you could have been marginally better at middle school football. Clear, I wake up

in a cold sweat wondering why I did not do that. Do you guys remember like, did you guys play football at that age? Like, Kaki, you said you never did. I remember middle school age, like 12 or whatever, football. Like, being scared of certain teams we'd go up against

because it'd be like, we're going to play so-and-so high, St. Mary's. Don't they have that guy Thompson who's been held back twice? And it's like, yeah, I think he's 6'5". No, that was last year, a cool 6'7". It's like every time, what are they going to do? Sweep to Johnsonson sweep just getting below i remember that specifically the guy wasn't six seven but we got blown the fuck out like three to fifty two because some guy was just too big to be to be knocked down by children

that's like derrick henry's high school whatever derrick Derrick Henry is probably the most dominant running back in the NFL. I mean, he's just a giant mountain of a man. And, like, you'd watch the replays of his high school, and you're like, well, yeah, naturally there's nobody that could physically stop the guy. So he's running for five touchdowns and 500 yards every game and you've just got to think to yourself like the kids that are just showing up like the quarterback like yeah poor kid was like i can't wait we're winning all these games surely people are going to look at me to be a quarterback in college it's like what are we doing again handing it

off 42 times to derrick okay that's great yeah you've never thrown the ball why would they i mentioned it. I swam with a guy when he was 12. I don't want to exaggerate his height, but it was like 6'3 or 6'4 at 12 years old. It was a team that had people of all different ages. It wasn't an important team. Anyway, what was fun

is he had to bring his birth certificate to every meet because other team's parents would challenge that he was actually 12. Good for those parents. Make them show it. Make them work for it. Yeah, before you paralyze one of these kids,

you're going to have to show that you drove here. Help me with this, though. How does a birth certificate actually prove that? Right. This says that a kid named John Smithith is 12 this is john smith hi i'm john smith there could be a little lie somewhere in there maybe i i consider that too uh what's better though he doesn't have a driver's license i don't know i'm gonna need some dna evidence before that mongoloid tackles my kid though though. Does Mongoloid have another term?

Is that a term for somebody with Down syndrome? Yeah, it is. It is a less silly. It's a pretty not ideal term for. Is it? That's why I chose it. I don't even know how to say it. Is it like racist or something?

I mean, it's equating people who are from Mongolia to people who have Down syndrome. Oh, I'm not sure that's accurate. I was about to ask, what is a person from Mongolia to people who have Down syndrome. Oh, I'm not sure that's accurate. I was about to ask, what is a person from Mongolia called? Mongolian. I'm almost sure. I'm not that. That's not what I call them. They are not Mongoloids.

Here they are. You're a Mongolian. I'm pretty sure. Wait, wait. I was trying to think if there's a scientific background for the word mongoloid. I'm positive there is. But you thought that mongolians were called mongoloids? Well, that's the bit, but yeah.

Oh, it was. Those used to be like, they had mongoloid, caucasoid. They used to use those terms. And a lot of them, I bet the guy who came up with that at the time was like, it's time to get a little more tolerant, guys. I'm tired of us just referring to these people as sub subhuman scum outright let's call them mongolians and everyone's like this fucking this fucking snowflake progressive

you know can't handle the hard language so zach posted here offensive dated a person belonging to the division of humankind, including indigenous to South Asia, Southeast Asia, and the Arctic region of North America. So Mongoloids, East Asia, Southeast Asia, and Arctic. And then another offensive word for Mongoloid is a person with Down syndrome. So I guess you don't say that. Not anymore. But you know, time's a flat circle it'll it'll come back just wait a couple decades so the the one that has to do with where people are from is

offensive and dated but the one with downturn room i guess was just always offensive i mean yeah just in general calling people who have down syndrome mongoloids. It's such an incredibly rude... I'm just trying to figure out where... Well, not to their face! Their weird little face. Jesus Christ. That one offended my sensitivities.

That was a good one. You'd never be that mean. What other words do we need? that was a good one you'd never be that mean Taylor I have done seconds of show preparation and I want to tap into one of your superpowers this might be not fun can you spell I'm going to start easy misspell spell misspell

these are the top 10 most misspelled words M-I-S ooh this is weird I'm gonna start easy misspell spell misspell. These are the top 10 most misspelled words MIS Who this is weird this is weird, but it would be exactly what you think it should be Is it one s why would it be one s MIS P E L L Really yes, why would there ever be one? Miss. Because you said it was a common word. Misinterpret. If you misinterpret, all right, spell, that word starts with an S.

So you misspell has to be two S's. Taylor, everyone here thinks you're dumb, but not me. Not me. I think you're stupid. I don't know any words. But that was the easiest one. What's the next one? Well, that was tough because he said it's a commonly misspelled word

The next one I think is The next one's hard, the one after that's easy Taylor, let's hit you Spell Pharaoh P-H-A-R-O-A-H I think it's A-O-H Kyle got it What?

I'm not good at these commonly misspelled words Because I think you might get it Tucker, spell weird Okay, well that's What? I don't know. All right. You know what? I'm not good at these commonly misspelled words. Because I think you might get it. Tucker, spell weird. Okay. Well, that's easy. Everybody knows how to spell weird. You got it.

It's not harder than you think. W-E-I-R-D? Yeah. Yeah. But it's E-V-R-I. So people get it wrong. Yeah, but I mean, oh, that's what's confusing about it. I mean, I was was like i don't know when i just picture the word weird it shows up yeah like that pharaoh and uh and the previous

word um it's like wed it's like wednesday when i when i read pharaoh i read pharaoh here's one i can never spell and i've just given up on remembering restaurant and it's have you ever seen that bit by patrice o'neill when he's talking about like patrice o'neill go watch elephant in the room he died like 10 years ago one of the funniest comedians ever he'd had a bit about spelling and how bad of a speller he was he's like i love my mom but if some some guy comes up and puts a gun to my mother's head and says, spell restaurant or I'm going to blow her head off. I'm going to go, mom, I love you more than anything in the world.

I mean, yeah. But it's like restaurant. Do you want more or are we moving on? It's restaurant. I do want one more. The worst part about restaurant is like I watch Seinfeld and like every episode it flashes the word in front of me and every time I see it I go,

remember this time, dumbass. Remember this time. It doesn't stick. R-E-S-T-A-U Rant. I think that's correct. Yes. They're all hard but doable for Kyle.

Intelligence. I-N-T-E. Are there two L's? Let's do two L's. Is it two L's? I'm going with two L's. L-L. Okay. I-G-E-N-C-E. Kyle got it. That's right.

Nicely done, Kyle. I'm pretty high, too. That's why that was so difficult. I'm like, picturing letters pop up in my head. I think this one's hard, and I'm going to hand it to Taylor. That one is kind of hard. This is an all play.

Taylor, handkerchief. I don't even know how to say it see well you gave it away by correcting yourself yep oh did i okay the hard part was the chief part yep not for me is it a chief there's plenty of hard parts in this word for me is it a chief h-a-n-k-e-r-c-h-i-e-f kyle nailed it did you teach it's hank Hanker Chief. No? Yeah. Like, right. The only thing I'm playing with is this. Well, my dad always said Hanker Chiff. And a lot of, I'm sure a lot of other people.

A lot of people do. Yeah, I think that's what I would say. So it's kind of confusing when you. Instead of Chief. Yeah. Or that. Most of these words I don't even know. Gobbledygook?

Anyone want to try it? What the fuck? Nobody's like, hey. Gobbledygook. It was number one. Gobbledygook. G-O-B-B-E-L-T-Y-G-O-O-K. That was actually pretty far off.

G-O-B-B-L-E-D-E-G-O-O-K. Gobbledygook. Gobbledygook. Gobbledygook. You know what that word is like? I didn't know that was a real word. You know the injector in Kharkov, the obadobolos, that no one pronounces correctly ever?

Say it again. Obadobolos. I no one pronounces correctly ever? It's the same thing. Say it again. Obidobolos. I just say it quickly so that it doesn't matter. Oh, that's a drug in Tarkov, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's what I was saying. It's another word. But can you spell it?

Yeah, yeah. It's Obidobolobos. It's something like that. It's the extra bos on the end. It's definitely O-B-O-D-O-B-O-L-E-O-S or some shit. It makes your mouth do some stuff it doesn't normally do with words. I'm gobbling. Well, that turned out okay.

That was all the words that I actually knew from that list. It's way easier to spell a word if you pretend to write it than if you just start saying it. Oh, yeah. You get ahead of yourself with muscle memory, and then you just spell it. You get ahead of yourself with muscle memory, and then you just spell it. Have you ever actually, and I mean this without a hint of irony, watched the spelling bee ESPN show? I was watching on an airplane, and yes, I was drinking heavily. It was cross-country.

But this was the year where they had seven tied people because literally they just could not get anybody out they were on like round seven of overtime and nobody would lose and i'm sitting here just like they're throwing words out and asking for etymology of things that have 17 syllables and i'm like refrigerators about as far as i can go in my head you know which just like things that make no sense grammatically and it's just i love love it. I'm just like, I watched that show, the spelling bee in all of everybody involved of the kids that can spell the

words of the adults that can pronounce them. I'm like, how do you do that? Like how to, you know, when they just read the etymology of it correctly. And, and I don't know,

there's, there's like Greek root words and stuff like that that they hand out. I could work the camera maybe. When I see it, I see a massive waste of time and talent because you have these clearly intelligent children who

are like, they're probably a little weird in one way or another. Yeah, they're definitely a little weird. They're good at this, but their talent is being focused into a really stupid fucking thing that has no financial future in life there are no adult spelling champions i've noticed that's true and if there are and if there are i know who kurt schilling is but i don't know who can spell onomatopoeia like i got no fucking you know what you're right the it kind of goes the way of, like, women's lacrosse. Like, once you leave school, I don't even think anybody even realizes it's a thing.

Women's sports as a whole. Hey, the WNBA is crushing. Oh, tennis. I mean, golf. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, tennis and golf. The times are changing.

No longer are that funny, all right? Would have been a banger in the 90s. Well, I forgot about tennis and golf. Those are real funny. And fighting. Oh, my. Oh, yeah. MMA's incredible.

I would wager sometimes. Her sex doesn't really play into her popularity for me at all. No. It's the backstory and the fighting and the winning. No. I like those chicks because they're badass. Now, I will say this. Ugly is ugly.

I don't need pretty, and I don't need handsome. But if ugly is there, I'm going to laugh at it. There's a couple of those men and women, and we're making fun of them, and there's no sexism coming into play. We just think they're really fucking ugly people, and we don't like them on our TV. It's like, how do you show? Put a bag on his head. Bad tattoo choices are right there also. That's an endemic in the in the fighting world yeah it is

an endemic i think it's an endemic and not just a fighting world but um but a general uh you see this trend a lot with anybody that has the i'm gonna say uh lack of getting the shit kicked out of them by their parents or something like i like i don't even know how hard it my sister hid her tattoo of the adoption symbol from my mom for like a good bit was she adopted yeah uh yeah and it's a like a heart and a triangle and and i and because she was like i'm gonna get this but like i'm still not really sure she's gonna be cool with it or not and i'm like yeah it'll be all right. Don't worry about it.

But in my head, right? Versus I'll look at some of my friends' tattoos that they have viciously tried to cover up, hide, whatever. One so far has got your entire arm completely covered in black ink from the forearm down. And I'm just like, well, I mean, just not great. Yeah, see? Harmless. Ah, the deathly hallows i thought that was i i look for uh for the viva la band i saw it and i was like you like him and my sister's like what and i was like you jackass fan huh yeah i really love that what was the tattoo of the guy's arm that he had to go full

i actually don't know i didn't see it prior to he but when he blacked it all out he was like yeah and it was really awkward talking to the previous tattoo artist that did my arm because he was like hey like what's going on with that he's like yeah just cover i just painted over your art sorry i decided i like my arm entirely black. Then you can tattoo back with white and do negative space. And he just decided that whatever tattoos were under there were not as good as the idea of potentially doing something down the road. Was it something like racist? No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't like anything wrong or scathing.

I just think it was maybe done in an inebriated and or less than ideal state. I feel like the artist should know he's that bad. If the guy couldn't live with it. You would think that, but in many a field, tattoos and otherwise, a lot of people just think that their art is artistic and not bad. It's just not for everyone. I guess you're saying there are musicians that exist in that space as well. Oh, for sure.

And you're like, this is just awful music. And they're like, no, you just don't like it. I'm like, stylistically and everything else, yes. You have no talent. Yeah. Don't knock on the way I bang pots and pans together. It's something special to me and then of course some random person ends up popping off and then you look like the idiot

because you're like no you're awful dude i just went to the bad tattoos reddit top oh that is and this is brutal like it's seeing some of these stresses me out like thinking about having it on my body the top guy all time apparently took a picture of some other guy's very good looking tattoo and said, I want that. But I had a picture of the guy's nipple in it. And the guy he asked to duplicate it put the guy's nipple on his arm. So he's got a terrible rendition of this with a nipple. This is, I'm so glad I don't have any tattoos. Oh my God.

I mean, I god I really want one what would you get Tucker? I wouldn't know because it's one of those things where I have a bunch of friends that have very well put together sleeves that all flow artistically into each other I have friends that have very cool small

individual tattoos that are just random whatever I just like the idea of a tattoo something that you either like or that means something enough for you that you want to put it on your body and like it's remembered that way every time i see a cool tattoo it's for girls i saw one i like not long ago it was just a word it was greek or something it meant like health and wellness i don't know but it was a word like behind her neck in the center and it's like that's just a girl thing i i like ankle tattoos i like the fucking thing right below your ear i like wrist tattoos um dude i'm gonna come back with a goddamn tramp stamp

you know you know i i was good i was ready to give you some nah you just like some weird placements those are very good places like i can it on the ankle, but it has to be pretty far along. If it's a guy with the only tattoo on his ankle, it's kind of wrong. It's weird. You can get wrists, too. He's already got a sleeve and a deltoid or something. You're watching Practical Jokers, where they end up with this punishment.

One of the guy's punishment once was to get Jaden Smith's face tattooed to his thigh. That's so tough. And they must have hired a real fucking artist because it's photorealistic. It's one of those photorealistic tattoos that you look at and you're like, oh my god, this guy's an artist. So then maybe a year or two later, I guess, he lost another challenge and his punishment was again, to get Jaden Smith's

face tattooed to his other thigh, but slightly aged now. You know, like current Jaden Smith, like for 2008 or whatever. So like in a recent bit, the bit is...

Why would you so not lose. Oh, sometimes there's no – sometimes it's easier to lose and take the tattoo than to do what they were going to make you do. But isn't it usually saying something that you don't want to say? It's usually saying something really awful to someone. Sometimes it can be like insulting them. But a tattoo is pretty rough.

Well, he's got both thighs with jaden smith's face on him so so the a recent bit uh completely third uh on a third episode that's completely separate he's like so so he's the wi-fi the wi-fi brow you know i think that i don't know if that was the one who had who was in this bit so there may be a second guy on the show who also has two Jaden Smith tattoos. There may be three in the bunch, but he's behind the desk and he's writing an email and he asked this stranger. She's the one the joke is being played on. Would you listen to my email and let me know if it's, you know, buttoned up and ready to send? And she's like, sure, I'd love to do that.

And so the email is like the tattoo that you put on me is not what I asked for. This is not my son. It does not look like my son. I will hurt you and your family in ways you can't comprehend. And he's like, do you think I should send it? And she's like, well, that's what are we talking about? And he stands up and pulls his pants down and shows her his left thigh. And he's like, the worst part is. And she's like, well, that's what are we talking about? And he stands up and pulls his pants down and shows her his left thigh. And he's like, the worst part is.

And she's like, that is not your son, because first he shows her his son, his real son, I think. And then after that, he's like, the worst part is I went back. He said, give me a one for free, something like that. Those are the other thigh. That is not your. I would be pissed. So you think. See, they have to convince this lady that that email is ready to be

sent off, even though it is a threatening, unprofessional email. So he came up with the whole bit about the, and she's like, I'd be pissed. Yeah. I love impractical jokers.

I think that's a hilarious show. Do you hear Joe? The like, everybody agrees. Joe's the funniest guy on the show. He's not my favorite, but yeah, yeah. He's leaving the show. He's not my favorite, but he's... Yeah. He's leaving the show.

He's the guy with the pot belly. He's got personal reasons. Yeah. Well, his wife and he split, I believe. And that group is very tight. They've been high school friends, from what I understand. They were high school friends, I should say. What, are they like the wife more?

Why does he have to leave the show, though? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe what he did was this, and they kicked him kicked him out they're like i can't believe you fucked debbie's friend like it could it could it seems from the outside looking in and taylor can fuck anyone he wants he still has a place on pka oh thank you i want you too tucker thanks i mean hey I'm not dating anybody but Kyle you need to stay loyal to I don't know who everyone loyal to everyone I'm bummed out that show's going away it's oh the whole show's going away well the show I mean

they're gonna they said they're gonna keep it but without him, it's just not the same show. He's the funniest one. He responds to it the best. He's the one who it's hardest to embarrass. He might be my least favorite. What? That's wild. So first of all, I saw him do a bit the other day where he's improv is excellent.

So the bit is that he has to get strangers to rub lotion on him, sun lotion on him in the park. And he's a disgusting looking man. He's got this huge beer belly and he's wearing a Speedo, I think. And by happenstance, he gets recognized by a fan. Now the cameras are hidden and the fan is like, are you guys filming out here? He's like, no, no, I'm getting some sun, bro. Like, I'm a big fan.

It's like, great. Hey, you want to hang out? Yeah, yeah. He gets a big fan. It's great. Hey, you want to hang out? Yeah, yeah. He gets the fan to start rubbing, but he's like, no, no, no, keep going. Every time the fan stops, keep going. And it's like one million SPF, so

he's being painted white. And by the time the fan is done, he is completely covered. I mean, every fucking bit. Like his face, his arms. Wasn't it an Indian guy? And they're unknowing. I think they're in Central Park.

I don't know. But think like big park where ladies lay on towels and bikinis in the park. They're all watching this go down in Cleveland. They think it's the most awkward. It's great. How is he your least favorite, though? Because the little guy who's bald is awesome. I love him. Where's my second most awkward it's great favorite though because the little guy who's bald is awesome i love my second favorite he's great but i really like i really like the big one um

with the i mean they're all kind of big except well except for the bald guy um but he's man i don't know how to describe because they all look so similar they're all like older chubby guys with beards you know with? With dark hair. He looks very Italian. Oh, Sal. The one that always whines about his punishments the most? Yeah, he's a good actor. I think he's very expressive. Which does, you know, I think that he

you know, it can be a bit annoying when they give him punishments that are just leaps and bounds easier than what they give Murr, because they just bully Murr with it. But knows that like by throwing a fit that like he's basically like like oh yeah they're never going to come too hard at me because i'm giving them entertainment just by throwing a fit over something minor you know you know what one of the more embarrassing not having to do anything one of one of the so the punishments run the gamut but but like some of them are embarrassing some literally painful um and and and some areut, but some of them are embarrassing, some literally painful, and some

are just weird. One of them that checks all three of those boxes, I think it's Murr, the bald one, they had him get a prostate exam in front of a group of men and women, like an audience, and they're talking about prostate health. The premise was that he has

volunteered from the crowd to be prostituted. He has to volunteer. And he gets up there and he's like, dude, look at your hands. And he puts his hands up next to the other guy's hands. And it's like when a girl, it does this shit. It's like when you grab your girl's hand like that. The doctor goes, don't worry about that. And the doctor's like, drop your pants. Because they tell him, don't drop your pants.

Refuse to drop your pants. And he's like, so the doctor has to forcibly get his pants off. And at first, he won't bend over. So the doctor's kind of having to bend him over. And it gives him a prostate. I've never had a prostate in my life. I thought they went in and poked once. And like, oh, yeah, you have one.

But they're like massaging the lobes of this guy's prostate and he's just like, ah! Ah! They finish. And he stands up and he's just like, I did it. I did it. And the doctor goes, you know, but the truth is you can never be too sure.

I thought we'd have a second opinion today. Bring in Dr. Mike! And Dr. Mike comes in and he gives him another prostate exam. They should get that arm wrestler with the giant hand. It's so fucking funny. And that became

so funny that now, in seasons after that, the doctor was very funny in the way he played it off. And so they had him become a recurring character. And so randomly at the end of Murr Punishments, it'll be like, Murray, you have to go give a sex ed class to your parents or something.

And then at the end of it, he's like, am I done? And they're like, not yet. Prostate exam. He sent him in and he's like, are you serious? Again?

I've had six prostate exams this year. And then just at the end of it, they just pop a It's so fucking funny. I got brand new pants today and I'm in genuine risk of peeing. If you haven't watched Impractical Jokers before, it is such a funny show. But they fit. What size are they? So I bought 34s and 32s. The 34s

fit, so this doesn't bode well for the 32s, but I haven't tried them on. Wow. I'm a 32, Woodyody you're smaller i guess i'm yeah i'm just impressed that your your form fit is similar to mine or gross i'm grossed out at myself is i'm really wide in the hip bone structure so 32 super bony for me but i think achievable yeah i got childbearing hips so Yeah. You don't do any cardio either. You could get there. I walked for like minutes

yesterday. It was three minutes. It was two days before that. But this week, I did walk. That's fair. The walking is huge. If you get 10,000 steps a day, you'll be in size 32s in six weeks for sure. How many calories does 10,000 steps a day, you'll be in size 32s in six weeks for sure.

How many calories does 10,000 steps burn? It depends on how much you weigh. How much is 10,000 steps? I guess that makes sense. It depends how long your legs are. Is 10,000 steps for the average person, that's like four miles? Here we go. I have 13,697 steps today, which is 7.1 miles.

Did you run or anything? How did you get so many steps? I just walked. I live downtown, so I just walked to do my things. I walk five miles a day. I have a dog. Yeah, so I walk five miles a day average. Some days more, some days less.

No. Well, it's better than running. I try to do 10 a day. it's really easy because i do those walks after every meal but um um when i was like really cutting hard i was doing 15 or 16 000 steps a day but you know that was on top of like cardio every day too so it was silly i want to walk more often it's easier for me to do it in the winter like i'm just more down with it in north carolina summer just going on random walks that's hot is a commitment and and there's a hundred percent there has to be a shower afterwards it's a thing yeah you just get yeah i just walk through a neighborhood you know like on the sidewalks and it makes one of

those giant you know how neighborhoods are now like those communities you're doing this it's kind of a cool like i get to see what all the neighbors shit looks like and peek in their windows when they're not sure sure anybody who says they don't do that is a liar like that is you totally do that you find out what's in their glove box center console in their car i i sit here and i look into all the windows that i can possibly look into i'm this close to buying some binoculars and really diving into the hey if you get really into it talk to me well you You're going to need some thermal equipment. You need a gun.

I mean, I... Guns get loud. When I first moved here, the day that I moved here was the last day of the World's... Well, one of the final games of the World Series. The Dodgers were playing, and so I noticed that the guy in the apartment complex across the street for me was watching on his big TV and I didn't have internet,

but I did have my Canon G 30 with extended zoom and an HDMI cable and a monitor. So I plugged it in and it was like watching in three 60, like you could see the ball, you could see the score, you could see everything, but that has to have been the most like poverty level shit because i don't even care about expensive camera yeah but i mean well yeah i but i it was like the gen it was like everybody's go-to camera for ages but i was just like i like i don't even care about baseball i

was just bored no internet sucked yeah no internet internet always sucks. When the electricity goes out, I'm just like, hope it comes back soon. Or what will I do? Internet here, even when the electricity's out. So the internet usually tends to work, yeah. And all the Wi-Fi and routers and stuff. Do you have that redundant? Because Fios, when we had it, had a backup pack thing

that they installed that was like 48 hours of power to the internet as long as the grid wasn't damaged or some shit. It just tends to work. And then in the house, all that stuff is on. We have our own uninterruptible power supplies for all the equipment. Mostly because it's not that rare for us to get a one-second brownout. And when I did the show recording,

it would be tragic if I didn't have all that shit set up. I invested in it. Yeah, that's for the best. Do you guys have those LED lanterns? Any of those in case power goes out? I got a blowtorch. That's going to be difficult. Very inefficient.

It's very difficult for lighting. I've got tons of propane. You'd be surprised. Hey, I've got to go take a piss piss let me just take the blow we have a cigarette lighter and cardboard boxes what could go wrong i've seen indiana jones i think i'll get to the bathroom dude speaking of like i don't follow i'm making a torch okay i think you're gonna make a torch that uh you were talking about like the starting fires. Oh, go ahead. Remember when Wings Power went out? And he posted a picture.

He's like, power's out. And he had brought in one of those propane turkey fryers and had the open propane burning. And it went indoors. And we're all like, you'll die. You'll die. Like, how old's the tweet? Like, how old's the tweet?

And he played it off he played it off like oh i was just kidding but i think that we saved his life because if he'd gone to bed he'd have died oh yeah you cannot light a propane heater indoors and i mean if he was lucky it would have it was very low on propane but even then that's not that's so funny i didn't know about that there's a picture of it it's really if you don't know it seems like a good idea yeah like i'll tell you what scared me the other night like i never know on my fireplace when the flu or whatever is open versus closed there's's that switch. And like both options seem equally likely to be a closed or open like position. Yeah.

And I'm, I'm standing over it. Like, I mean, there's some heat coming in the room. There's supposed to be heat coming in the room, but it's all of it coming in the room. It's some of the,

am I going to die? Like, like, like, so I just hang out in the living room and I'm, I'm like, am I getting a headache? Am I getting a headache?

I'm a little sleepy. It is late. Let's just turn the fuck. I ended up turning living room, and I'm like, am I getting a headache? Am I getting a headache? I am a little sleepy. And it is late. Let's just turn the fire. I end up turning it off because I'm staring at it like it's killing me the whole time. Need a little space heater. Yeah, no, because then you're like, oh, fuck, what if I go to sleep, and then it falls over and my blanket catches fire because my feet have got to be toasty right next to the electric space heater.

And you burn to death like i would wake up from that though it's that silent death of carbon monoxide in the night that would you know what if i'm gonna go i'd rather go that way though right like you just kind of faint faint into a you know what i heard about carbon monoxide detector should protect you though right if it is up to date mine's 25 feet the ceiling. I don't know if it's beeping or not. Mine's actually close enough. I have a really tall ceiling. In here, where I live, the code is to have one next to every water heater, every fireplace.

My house has, I don't even know, five or six fireplaces or something like that. So we've got them all over the place. Man, that could kill the whole family real quick. Yeah, yeah. Speed run. Speed run. You could save a lot of money. Carbon monoxide poisoning any percent.

You could save a lot of money on carbon monoxide detectors if you just got a few canaries. Then you gotta take care of birds. It would lower the carbon monoxide detector expense account. And their eggs are delicious. I just feel like the upkeep is more... You'd be laying there in bed and they'd be

freaking out and you'd be like, those fucking birds! And then they'd be like, I'm so glad those birds shut up. I know that's what I would do and I wouldn't know until I woke up and the warm embrace is out. Until I woke up dead. That would be a pretty good way to go. When you see in movies, when there's a character who's going to commit suicide,

it seems like the most often caught in the act suicide in movies is the garage car running more than anything. And that would be the most pleasant. Beheading yourself or something.'s a little like that's what i was going with i'm so glad you said that did you read the article about the guy who wanted to commit suicide but he didn't but so he he built a guillotine in his bedroom unbeknownst to his father who lived in the home and like some secret compartment of his bedroom like he put up like a false wall i guess i don't know he was like planning on this thing why did he built a guillotine and but but he built it into his bed somehow so that he he took a bunch of sleeping pills he set a timer on the guillotine like a mechanism and he

went to sleep and the timer went off the guillotine came down cut his fucking head off jesus christ i gotta know like was it pneumatic? Like, how'd it get that much oomph, right? Gravity. Like the old ones. Yeah, but the guillotine, the old ones are like 15 feet up, and even those didn't always do the job. I think they did. I think that was pretty, I would go by guillotine. I hope he, like, I hope he had that shit

on, like, a pneumatic piston that just went... He's got blank 12-gauge rounds. Yeah, no. Two 12-gauge rounds go up like that yeah no it's actually it's a car like air bag he's you want to kill yourself and so you set up a saw style shotgun four corners of your head listen that's cowardly that's so cowardly and messy if you're gonna off yourself make sure that you do it in a convenient way for other people that one guy you shouldn't do it at all but that i mean you shouldn't i'm not advocating but like yeah but that is the shittiest way to do

it leaving your bloody head in the room for someone to deal with yeah you're what an asshole that care about you anyone even if you live alone the poor person that has to morgue your body talker do you know about the guy who made the uh the suicide helmet uh i think i this maybe all over it facing inward and like a mechanism that makes all the bullets fire at once into the helmet are you making this up this isn't no all right no it's real this exists i just feel like that's a very messy way uh he won instantaneous death like i just think that there are more efficient. He wants instantaneous death. I just. Teach him to fly.

Lethal injection is. It's not that big a deal. I'm just saying, like, you know, it's just if I feel like if that was an option that somebody were to take, at least, like, maybe keep yourself put together enough that like you know that people can look at you after the fact i don't know yeah i saw a euthanasia video the other day and the guy like said goodbye to his family and then he drank something in a cup and uh he faded away in like two minutes and just went to sleep damn that sounds That sounds so depressing. Yeah, I mean, I never want to get to that point. Yeah, I never want to get to that point, obviously.

I mean, for his family. Like, watching someone you love just die like that, that would be so sad. That would be horrible. I just think watching somebody die, period, is awful. Would not know, because I'm very lucky to not have gone through that gamut quite yet. But it's coming.

You've never seen someone die on the internet? Oh, I've seen that, but it's different. Nobody that I've known or really loved and cared about has died in my adult life. I thought you had avoided bad internet videos. Oh, I've seen the worst shit, man. I remember that. Yeah, I've seen the worst. You know, two guys two guys one hammer all that

you haven't seen it lately though like at least me because i've avoided yeah i don't seek it out literally when i watched it popular like can i use it yes uh the beheading video maybe there was a guy in the new york times that is exactly what i'm thinking about with a um a big knife if that's still happening it's not getting popular on the internet i bet it's still they literally cut them with a big knife. If that's still happening, it's not getting popular on the internet. I bet it's still happening. I bet there are people. It's not going viral anymore.

There was a time early in the internet's life cycle where I think that they were like, hey, we can look at this. Can you believe that? And we all saw it and we were like, I think there was a reason we weren't looking at that before. This is upsetting and I'm ruining my soul. And then there was like this very small group of people who were like, yeah, we shouldn't look at that anymore, guys. Let's go over here where we don't look at it at all in private, right?

All of us over here. There's definitely creepers on the internet and then like places on the internet where you can go. I mean, there's a subreddit called Watch People Die, right? No, that's Watch People Fucking Die and it's funny. Watch People Fucking Die is a good one. Watch People Fucking Die is hilarious. Is there one where you're just watching people fucking die and it's funny watch people fucking die watch people fucking die is hilarious is there one where you're just watching people actually die yes watch people die yeah yeah watch people die is horrible watch people fucking die is hilarious just the way kyle said it he's like oh no they don't have one where you watch people die it's called watch people fucking die it's it's a joke well aside from the one called watch people die yeah i just feel like the internet's taste for viral death videos it's gone i think

a lot of people who came up in that like more wild west of internet in the early 2000s mid 2000s like i remember seeing a ton of fucked up shit and like now if i even see like something that's like oh this gif of a fight but this guy gets slammed on his head and cracks his skull up it's like i don't want to watch that i that's gonna make me upset i'm gonna be thinking like it's almost like i thought like oh i could watch anything i'm so tough and cool like early 2000s and then now it's like no there's no reason to put those images in my head yeah yeah yeah it's uh i avoid it pretty much but um every now and then the guys will post some in there because like there's this fun we like

shooting videos i will say that like police shootings and stuff like like um like just active shooter situations like when people are gunfighting in the street we're all down to watch that but i don't want to see like anybody be beheaded or tortured or any of that sick shit um but i mean we do watch car crashes and motorcycle crashes and stuff that's like sort of adjacent i guess it's just not evil it's the evil i'm avoiding even fighting videos like you'll watch videos of a street fight and it is rare that they don't end with like some guy knocked out in fencing response getting booted in the head by five different people and it's like oh that guy okay we just watched to death that was a knockout on

concrete and now we watch somebody die so i watched one last night and you know how these videos on the internet are you you have no backstory like who knows who the good guy and back bad guy is sometimes but there's this like 34 year old chick who's like pretty hot like refusing to leave an apartment and she's like acting crazy and drunk like the things she's saying don't make much sense but she's sort of crazy and drunk like the things she's saying don't make much sense but she's sort of like defensive and aggressive about them not making sense and they're and the man is recording and he's saying leave just leave you know over and over over and over over and over finally like out of nowhere four girls who i guess belong in that apartment

their opening move was to shoot her in the face with a fire extinguisher. So now she's blind. And then all four of them jump her while this guy records and they beat the crazy out of her. When they're done with her, he goes, just leave. She grabs her cell phone. Like one of them was, was on top of her, just ground and pounding her face.

Like, like maybe hit her eight times in the face. Like, you know, some girl fights, there's a lot of like this. These were like, it looked like Francis Ngannou was on this bitch. Good strikes. They beat the crazy out of her, though. That was a good one. And then every now and then we find videos of people just exploding in industrial accidents. I'm not a fan of those.

I hate the lathe videos whenever someone gets sucked into something. I will not watch one of those. There's that one you told me about years ago of some guy in China getting sucked in. No, no, no, no, no. If it's instantaneous, we'll watch those, I guess. I did see one where a guy was working on it. Not very strict standards. I draw very close.

If it's underneath five seconds, I'll watch you get torn apart. But any more than that. I don't watch those unless I want to. I draw a very fuzzy line when it comes to internet video. But we did see a guy blow up on a gas turbine the other day. And it was just so instantaneous that I almost, like anyone who dies a natural death should envy this man because he was alive and then he wasn't yeah but he thought he had like after work plans

even better even better he never had to he never had to sit there and be like this is how i go like this there's never going to be another summer for me no he's just like i'm gonna have some drinks after poof natural deaths are so brutal that people like they don't think about how rough natural deaths can be they look at like oh this guy burned alive in this car yeah yeah for 35 seconds he did and then i get that it was awful but it was 35 seconds that was that was an intense fire this guy with cancer slowly fading away in the pain and the wailing in the bed. It's so much worse. What Jesus

Christ went through was a bad weekend. Everybody with cancer would trade their experience for Jesus'. I don't know about that one. When you got cancer, though, everybody's like, oh, you're going to be okay. We love you so much. Let's take care of you. I don't know. They're just kind of beating the shit out of Jesus for a couple days.

For a few days. I just like, you're just saying. The pain, the wailing. Well, my mother-in-law went through was worse than Jesus. She is the one that sacrificed for yourself. Being crucified is horrific. Yeah. Like, they did that.

Pretty awful. Because Rome was like, hey, we invented roads and aqueducts and all this modern political science. What can we put our minds to now? And it's like, look how much pain we can inflict with some nails and two sticks. You know, like, oh, we have scientists coming in. See, it doesn't look like he's in that much pain, but watch him struggle, lift himself up to fill his lungs with air. He can't. It's filled with fluid.

That's why he's spitting up blood right now like it was a horrible way to die but you're right in that if i go into it like jesus did knowing you come out on the other end it's just like come on like eye on the prize yeah like just get through to the other side of it if you're if you're like if you're one of those breathing if you're one of those uh thieves on the side of jesus you that's a way worse death because you well the one thief you know he got to die thinking he was going to heaven and if you believe the lore he did go well no no no if you believe the lore then eventually he'll get to go whenever god comes back right he's still on the ground waiting that's always been a weird thing with Christianity.

Heaven's empty, folks. It's empty. There's nobody up there. There's like eight guys up there, chilling. There's no one in heaven. No one's gone to heaven yet? No. That's not what I learned from cartoons.

Half a dozen people. I don't know what the actual canonical truth is. They can't even play a basketball game up there i'm pretty sure there's lots of people with wings there's still angels up there they could get a game going angels can't play basketball they're just eyeballs and wings i showed you the picture that is true they have no no grip no they have to use magic for it magic i don't know it makes more sense with wings it makes more sense if everybody goes there as soon as they die. But there's a lot more grandeur if everybody does it all at once, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah, the idea is that. It sounds like a traffic problem. But you go to hell immediately, right? No. Because what do they say? They say God judges you at the end. And so you'll stand before him and bear witness all year.

Just the devil. I guess not. Just the devil and half is a big lie. I think is i'm pretty sure nobody's in hell they're in purgatory there is no purgatory we don't believe that nonsense okay get out of witchcraft in a holding pattern they're just in the ether somewhere they are they are sitting there in the ground cold storage are they conscious no i wouldn't imagine. That seems like a fate worse than death. See, they have, no, they have thousands. You die in like the year minus 50,000.

It's like, but you were a good guy. Just hold the line. It's like, no! You're totally insane by the time you make it to heaven. You just lost your mind. It's just a whole place full of crazy people. Why did they have to make it to heaven you just lost your mind it's just a whole place full of crazy people why did they have to make it so complicated why could like the problem one of the most the thing that makes christianity so believe uh at least a little bit credible and believable is like

god if a person were making some shit up they wouldn't have made it so complicated if someone was just making this up out of like fucking thin air they'd come up with something that made a lot more sense than it's because they had to keep like layering down excuses so like the pope in the year 1400 wasn't just like dealing with questions and answering shit like within the bible's constructs he had to like take on centuries of other popes lies and fibs he's like this fucking asshole print pope hubert the second in the year 800 he said that you know you get a crown of emeralds when you go to heaven and i can't undercut that now we've got we've got we've been celebrating emerald day for 200 years but it's totally made up all right i gotta i gotta backfill this you know mixing it it's a

rubik's cube of theology i yeah, it is kind of crazy how many different things go into it. And I still crack up because I haven't been, I went to church every Sunday, like pretty much without any real, um, like, like skipping until I left my house. So when I went, it was weird to me how many times they did a little revisionary like you know let me tell you it's the same story every year basically same progression same story you learn about it it's very uninspiring by like the fifth time around but for whatever reason they seem to change the uh prayers six years. The wording, the language, the delivery, the meaning behind them all.

And I'm just like, you know, if we've done this six times in my recent memory, how many times have we been just fucking around with this long game of telephone with Jesus? He's just like, I didn't say any of this, guys. None of this makes any sense, guys. He's going to come back and like he's gonna be like guys it was all about not liking gay people i just don't like penis yeah all right i would do whatever

you want no it's their problem i wouldn't have made myself gay and and everyone behind and he's wearing a crown of emeralds that's the worst part he's wearing the crown of emeralds. That's the worst part. He's wearing the crown of emeralds. Yeah, we got so many of these. If you just dig a little deeper, it's all emeralds down there. Well, Johansson told you. Burn the gays, you get your emeralds. What are you people doing? Why did he become Italian, Frodo?

What are you doing? I'm fucking Jesus here. I'm discriminating here. I'm walking on water here. I don't know.. I'm walking on water here. I don't know. I imagine them in Rome for some reason. Oh. I don't know what you're talking about.

I had two loaves and five fishes. I don't know why you're saying that. You're saying that 15 trucks worth of loaves and fishes gone missing. I made this out of two. I don't know what you're talking about, officer. You can talk to Pontius Pilate if you feel so inclined. But things might go poorly for you. That's the way it would go. You know, Italian Jesus robbing the Romans to pay himself.

An American-Italian book. That's what we're talking about dude i'd watch that did you watch that um the the series uh the young pope with uh jude law no i never watched that it's really good it's modern day right not yeah yeah yeah modern day and he's just like about the pope modern day i want to i want to go back to when he had power not he's well he abuses every ounce of power that he has and he's and he's continuously trying to get more because he becomes Pope at like 40 or something. It's pretty interesting.

Right away, there's some cardinal that is the Pope's right-hand man, it seems. I don't know much about Catholicism, but he's just like, this is how things are done, and today we'll do this, and then you'll have to go to this. He's like, I'm not doing any of that. I'm not doing any of that i'm not doing any of that you don't work here anymore neither does he you you make good waffles he just kind of takes over and does his own thing and they're and they can't do anything because he's a fucking pope it's good yeah well and he might be getting laid it's it's kind of in the air i wish they'd done a second. There was like a spree like a thousand years ago or something

where every pope for decades was just assassinated within a few years of becoming pope or something like that. I don't remember the exact date. For a long time, it seemed like it was just like a, I don't know, like a job that you could just kill somebody for or steal away from them or give to someone else or buy. There was that one guy who sold his Pope ship and then bought it back later.

They went back and forth or something. It was pretty nonsensical back in the day. I didn't know about that. Not like now where he comes out with his silly hat and blesses everyone. That makes a lot more sense. Pope would be such a great job it might be the best job like what are your daily responsibilities do you think that they

would like rat you out if you were if you're getting laid like if you like ever if you had like three or four girlfriends or something as the pope do you think anybody would tell if you're yeah i think the rules i think oh not not some of them some of them you can't some of them you can i don't know isn't there one who's like good for gay marriage there is one that the most recent one that isn't the current one the emperor paul or whatever yeah i think was progressive and was just like maybe we just love everybody guys and it wasn't it wasn't like i think gay like gay people he was just like everybody was made under god's creation and for that they all deserve a place at the table and that was as far

as he went on them too i think he i think he was pro concert con like light contraception for those that like couldn't end up supporting i don't. He was very progressive for what it was, but it was still light years away. And it also came out that he was part of the larger cog of hiding the sexual abuse of the church. That's progressive, too. I feel like you're kind of ink-shaming when you say that. He can quit the papacy, go get a job in Hollywood as a producer.

Oh! There we go. Be both. Is Pope John Paul, he's the one who retired because he started. It might be the one after John Paul, but one, there's been three in my lifetime. I thought he was getting so old that he left. Pope John Paul. The current one is pretty okay, but he did in fact say recently that he

thinks that people that have pets instead of kids are selfish which i think is a brain dead take i i saw somebody was just like man's man's talking real hide mighty for a virgin yep you know what fuck you're right for a virgin yeah it's the last time you even saw a pussy with that weird fucking hat of yours he looks like the emperor from star wars the i really like that woody's talked about this before how like it seems really dumb to have like a a virgin be like the one who's talking to people about their marriage or or like like you know a man and a woman franc Francis is the one that's progressive. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a current one. Oh, is he? Three marriages deep, you know, with some step kids. I just,

I want to know. There's a guy who can advise, you know, his flock. Don't leave her. Whatever she wants. Do it. You'll end up here.

That guy's got some wisdom that guy i just described you know like he's fucked half a dozen women or better and uh he's married a couple of them and he's got some kids and some step kids and that guy can tell you uh his life experience you don't want a virgin you want the opposite yep okay it looks like you get seven virgins and they're all neckbeards that joke just like all fat like gamer kids there yeah that was like the old like uh political comic from like the mid-2000s where it's like an al-qaeda guy and it's like where are the 70 virgins and it's a bunch of fat d&D guys. Oh, classic 2005 political humor. It looks like Benedict, the pope before this guy.

Yeah, I'm wrong. I thought he like left because his mind started to go on him. No, I think he left because of like kid stuff. Like stuff started to get uncovered. Maybe not him, not him personally, but like knowing about it over like doing like the shut the fuck up don't talk about it kind of shit man just be a little quieter when you rape come on just shut up we need money from every country

on earth and we can't get it if you're raping kids and people are knowing about it i i don't i just feel like point of catholicism isn't it just a big child rape organization yes and that's very bold of you to say it's very brave of you but i stand with what woody said when woody quote i say all catholicism is a child rape this is a fair point if i'm inferring it correctly really i'm the one who went too far. I'm the one who's been appropriate here. You didn't even go far enough. You've got to be careful.

All those Catholics up at YouTube are going to cancel us. The state of Utah has denied Woodworth. You're never going to be able to go to Salt Lake ever again. Are there Catholics in Utah? No, it's all Mormons. But all the Mormons, like, I mean, obviously not all of them. I'm sure some of them take it like really defensive.

But every Mormon I've ever met, and I met a lot when I lived in Idaho, like they would take little jokes that people threw at them. You know, I didn't really feel comfortable joking at Mormons expense because I didn't grow up around Mormons. And I'm like, I don't even I didn't even know enough to really address it. But like other people who grew up in Boise or Salt Lake would like make little jokes at the Mormons or magic underwear. And they're, you know, you know, 44,000 people and planets and all that shit.

And every single time they just be like, you know, it's just a belief system that I think works really well for our family. But I can see where you're coming from. Does seem silly. And it's like, damn it! Do you guys take like a how to get out of bullying class? Now, guys, agree and amplify.

Repeat after me. Agree and amplify. Yeah, it's just funny. And they were such good-hearted people. Even the magic underwear guy, like I heard someone make fun of him. He was like like you know like just you know rolls off his back doesn't care he has ultimate conviction in his beliefs and it's

like that doesn't get really cool yeah doesn't get pissy very very strong sperm that group of people fucking strong very potent yeah like we need to be doing studies on on mormons it's like six seven each and they're just like out here solving the uh lowered birth rate issue that first world countries have it's like single-handedly the mormons and the amish are like we can do it they're like more of us more of them this is theish. They don't have lights, right? Do they only have lanterns? They don't have lights. The Amish, so I grew up near Amish country.

So Amish country really is big in southern Pennsylvania. And I was in like northern Maryland area. So the Amish, generally speaking, the ones that I got to interact with, were just not necessarily using any sort of technology whether it was electricity or cell phones or computers regularly what that does mean is that the heads of the household did have that because that was kind of the way that you would interact with the modern world so like uh child slavery all that where they're building good furniture with like candace who's like seven um all that definitely happened but they're building good furniture with Candace, who's like seven.

All that definitely happened, but the money's got to go to the bank account somewhere. So there were people that did interact with the modern world in that way, and you did see them go to the grocery store. It wasn't that they were against refrigeration.

It was just a very tight lifestyle. And there's another group not the amish the mennonites yes and you used to see them in a fucking mob at like hershey park and you could always tell because they dressed like the pilgrims but they the mennonites were like the cool amish where they just they were, yeah, we'll just kind of stick to our beliefs, but also roller coasters. Yeah. Like it would be the entirety of the park would be like Mennonite

Mondays. And it was just, you guys get everywhere by horseback. No, but the car has to be black. Yeah, exactly. Not at a restrictive rule.

It's like, it's like Hasidic Jews who are, who you'd be like, you could, i lived off of fairfax avenue in la and every single night the sun's going down and you just see a legion of hasidic jewish kids shredding on razor scooters because once the sun goes down or you know they can't use uh like vehicles or some shit i can't remember yeah, you know, just in full garb, dressed to the tens, looking real fancy, but with razor scooters.

You know the elevator thing? No. So I don't know if it's aesthetic or orthodox, so I'm half right, but they don't work on Saturdays. And apparently pressing an elevator button is working. So many places in New York, the elevator just stops on every floor on Saturdays, and it's a pain in the ass. Yeah, I don't know if it's Hasidic or Orthodox, but I mean, it's the same thing of like you can't actively engage in using the working system.

But if it just so happens to be doing it anyways i was watching a twitch streamer and he mentioned that um amish don't have lights in their house and i was like no way because i know they have like some cheats right like generators and stuff yeah and i googled it and it appeared that he was right. Maybe. They only have gas lanterns at best. I know that it is part of that region. You definitely can end up in a situation where each Amish kid coming of age is given some amount of support and go experience the world. You've got a year, which is kind of like... Yeah, rumspringa. You might think to yourself is like oh at least they get

to decide for themselves but imagine being sheltered as shit and then all of a sudden your parents like all right go run free in southern pennsylvania and figure out if you like it better than the structure you've known your whole life like they're not having a great time no you don't think and most of them don't come back. Most of them come back, yeah. But you'll see videos of... No one's wife's right on guys. I'm coming back. This is a Lancaster county. I distinctly remember, you're right, it's Lancaster.

I distinctly remember a friend of mine showing me a video from a house party that he was at in Amish country. And them just drinking beers in a cabin or whatever. And every time he'd beers in like a, I don't know, a cabin or whatever. And every time he'd like put the camera up, the people would be like, no, stop. It was very weird. You're stealing my soul.

That would be so funny if Amish people in America in modern day thought you were stealing their soul when you took photos. Progressive Amish? Yeah. I don't know what group that is, but there is a group that thinks... Maybe that was one of those unexplored... Old Central American... It was definitely a joke from... A tribe or something. Crocodile Dundee.

Oh, stealing souls with pictures? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The aboriginal would think that's what it was. And then he was just like, I know what a camera is. Yeah, they're like, you can't take my picture and they're like are you afraid it'll steal your soul and he's like the lens cap is on you know he made a ton of money off that paul hogan because i want to say he like produced it and maybe like wrote and directed to or something like that so it's one of those and it became like the third biggest movie that year like like i it may have been one of those years where like back to the future came to or something like that. So it's one of those. And it became the third biggest movie that year.

It may have been one of those years where Back to the Future came out or something like that, one of those huge blockbusters. But Crocodile.D made, I don't know, $100 million or so or something like that. And he got it all. It's like, yeah, $100 million. That's what I made. I like it when they do that. When they're like, hey, I'll tell you what.

You can have a million dollars or 10 of the profits what do you want and they roll the dice on the profits and it's star wars or something yeah well there's a couple good ones like that but also you can get the ones that are like hey uh it's got to be the worst for everybody involved it becomes like a cult classic so i was recently i'm sure you heard of don't Look Up, the Netflix movie. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I did. I thought it was pretty good.

But obviously for me and for a lot of people who kind of grew up in the mid-2000s, Idiocracy was the one that did that to a T earlier. And so I looked it up. Idiocracy grossed $ hundred thousand dollars internationally and domestically in the box office while also having a 2.5 million dollar budget and i was like there's no it's very hard to find out like how much money did you make after the fact because somebody owns the rights to that i don't know how's the long tail on that yeah what's the long tail views on

that what's the cpm on this shit but like i mean seriously it's a good question so i couldn't find anything about it but this is a movie that if i explained or mentioned it i would assume that 80 of my friends would know what i'm talking about and so it's one of those things that's definitely the way bigger than the sum of its parts but it was a failure through and through when it first came out yeah a lot of movies become cult classics like that i i was aware of idiocracy i only watched it last year or maybe uh yeah really yeah i like i knew who was in it and what it was about the premise but brown it always just looked goofy to me so like it didn't look like something i wanted to it is

you know the the tricky part about idiocracy is like they put essentially Gatorade on the crops because it had what plants need. Yeah. And the guy's like, it's got electrolytes in it. That's what plants need. And I'm like, you know what? I didn't know what electrolytes were either. Salt. Yeah, I know. I learned it from the movie. Therefore, I was one of the idiots. I thought I was the main character in this movie, the one guy of average intelligence. No, I'm Terry Crews. That's who I am. I probably would have known that you don't put Gatorade on crops, just not exactly why. Yeah, just don't salt the field in general and you can also tell i what this another like

kind of fun way to tell this is that a lot of um performance waters will say with electrolytes for flavor they're not even like like hey it's this mystery compound you'd flavorless like no it's just salt with lemon juice in there yeah but you need that getting fucked up now there's like you didn't realize how little gatorade had in it yeah until like body armor is the best brand now that came out and they're like a rehydrating drink and you look at the back of it and it's got as derek would say efficacious dosages not not really but like really high levels like oh this has got there's more potassium like as much potassium as two bananas in a 32 ounce one then you look at gatorade and it's got it's got six percent of my daily salt yeah it's like well no wonder i was drinking two of these blue gatorades when i was hung over like

give me a give me like all my touring friends in the dj space they're just like pd light it's on the rider and you're like all right wait me I drink Gatorade, I'm just looking for better tasting water. That's what I'm going for, really. I want better tasting water. And that's guilt free. So I get Gatorade Zero and that's what's in my water bottle at the gym. The low calorie body armors

taste even better than the Zero Gatorades. Like the watermelon body armor, it's better. Yeah, but hydro flask. I think I'm going to go from all the darn water bottles to a flask that's a big this is a iron flask it was like i have one of those two i have one of those in does it taste metal-y at all no it's not it's not at all i have a i have coffee cups where the top rim where your lip goes is metal and i feel like i taste it is metal and I feel like I taste it. You,

plastic is the mouth spout for the one that Taylor has at least because I have the same one. So you're not tasting metal and no, it doesn't have a metallic taste and if it does, there's something wrong with your shit. Yeah. You could beat someone to death with this.

I have the 32 ounce or whatever and I've dropped it full on my foot, and it hurt. And I was like, it's a good product, great product. I want a PKA Hydro Flask. I wonder how hard that is to whip into creation. An RS one like this, because these are nice. You're stuck on the rape squad. I like the branding better.

We used to back off of that one. It's letters, not a name. It's real sweet kids. It doesn't matter what they stand for. People don't even know that ATM is an acronym anymore. Yeah. People say ATM machine.

That's an RSK flask. What's that mean? Who knows? That's where we are in terms of recognizabilities up there with ATMs. That's exactly what I meant. Yeah. And scuba. And scuba?

Also an acronym. I don't know what scuba is. Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus? Apparatus, is that it? Yep. That's good. I always thought with those like, was there a guy who was like breathing implement a scooby no

oh that's so much better yeah i always wondered if they like reverse engineered those acronyms to they have to make it work like what's your invention it's called a scooby get the fuck out of here get the fuck out of here the hell out of here it's called the underwater fun suit and is there when's the last time a private fucking individual invented anything that we care about probably something horrific like that fucking automated beheading machine that stuff on shark tank maybe yeah the shark tank stuff but like where else like outside of that like where would you go if you had an adventure they're like conventions or something where they're like investors and and i don't i imagine an adult science fair where like potential

investors would go and go from like station to station and he'd be like ah this is my new battery it does this that and the other and this and the next guy they're like seriously what do where potential investors would go and go from station to station. He'd be like, ah, this is my new battery. It does this, that, and the other. And the next guy would be like, this is my new battery. Seriously, what are you, combined vinegar and baking soda? No. You think it's the science fair? Yes.

No, no, no. I don't want him to have just created a battery, like an acid battery. I want him to have a new battery thing. Johnson, get over here. This young man's invented a clock that runs an acid battery. I want him to have a new battery thing. Johnson, get over here! This young man's invented a clock that runs on a potato! Careful! That child has a

volcano at his whim! This child appears to have made a tornado out of pipe cleaners! The whole universe located right here on this table. The entire universe. I feel like you shouldn't have to go on a TV show if you come up with a new salt shaker or something.

It would be like a trade show is what you're describing. I'm talking about Shark Tank. What I was talking about, what I said was that there should be an adult science fair where investors would go and there'd be a bunch of adults who had their inventions and science-y shit on tables

and they'd go from one to the other and you know... Is that just like the Nobel Prize? That's all seen for non-profit and shit. This is purely for profit. For one thing, I want to see some cool stuff invented. I just feel like it's either CES or Shark Tank.

Because CES is like, hey, we have the R&D of several small nation states. I'm still stuck on the science fair. I'm still stuck on the deal talk. Trust me. It's great. It's powered by 40 caliber blanks. Did you invent this as a wall on the side? No. I mean, that would be good.

I would like to see more inventions. We're in an invention drought. We are. I was talking about this with a friend not long ago, but like it was 66 years, I'm pretty sure, from the Wright brothers flying for the first time to putting a man on the moon. 66 years. Wow. That is not a long, long time. That's a that's a yeah a life you

know and since then since 1969 what do we have some like telecom advancements no i think no no no do not downplay it is incredible that we put a man on the moon allegedly with 64 what is it 64 kilobits of ram or like literally like a Gameboy right and don't quote me on that because it's probably yeah yeah but but basically with some bullshit and now like you know my cell phone is so much better etc while we haven't done anything that is what I was I should say in the physical realm in the physical realm as incredibly monumental seeming. The telescope that we just put out, the one that James Webb is like the pinnacle of human engineering for the last 20 years.

Like the deployment, the way that they've got it out there, the amount of different like points of failure that they've got the way that it's operating now like it it like 2004 i saw that it was geosynchronous in the earth's shadow yeah in the earth's shadow to make sure that it doesn't wash out the telescope uh like when do they get first images from that like when are we going to see stuff i actually don't i mean is it going to stay near earth it's not like it's in it it's locked the hubble leave am i right about that the hubble like just goes farther and farther maybe i'm thinking of the voyager or something no the voyager goes further and further i think the hubble just got decommissioned uh or they're not going to need it after this so the space telescope the space telescope is like closer than the moon but but that voyager thing is like it's, it left the solar system a couple years ago.

That one's just radio signals. We just chucked that shit, and we were like, hey, call back. Send us text messages. I made a mistake. I conflated them. But James Webb is just going to stay nearby in the Earth's shadow taking pictures. Yes, taking photos of the most absurdly high quality. It's like a three or five mirror system or whatever, where it bounces in, bounces off, bounces and bounces off.

And then it's like what I asked was, does that mean that we're going to get incredible HD photos of every planet? Right. Like, I love seeing deep space stuff, but like like i also want to see the shit around us in higher detail and while the answer is like yes it can they're not going to focus it on jupiter like that's just not what they're down to do with this thing they're going to do you know that famous photo of like we focus the hubble in this blank square for one week and here's that they're going to do more stuff like that and more high quality of things that are that were just in like tiny dots of light they're looking for the origins of the universe like

they're yeah they're trying to see this will let us see further than we've ever even remotely seen before to the point where they're like we might hit it we might hit the render distance of the universe with oh they've already they've already hit the render distance of the universe have they with like consume what we have yeah yeah so i'm just cool it's it's just gonna be great but the fact i like describing it as the render distance like a minecraft sort of like it's because baby no it's good it works for me that's because it's a lot harder for for anyone to explain or understand space expanding and what that actually means. Yeah. It just keeps going. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah. What is it expanding into? Because as a child, I thought that that just meant everything was flying away from each other in a big void, but what it means is that the void is growing. Yeah. The void itself. The void between every object is growing. Space is expanding.

The only thing that I wish that we gain more knowledge on is like the I just want more perspective on the infinitesimally large space like universe stuff.

It's so hard to like look at anything that somebody writes or types or says and then be able to conceptualize what they mean because every single time it just boils down to like, yeah, that's pretty big. I just can't. It doesn't work. Yeah, it's little steps that are big to engineers.

But as like a guy on the ground here, I want to see us punch a fucking alien or like step on Mars. I want to see us get on Mars, yeah. Yeah, what I would have them do with that space telescope is like you said i um like stuff in our solar system especially like the places we think there might be life under under ice like on those moons and and what i really want them to do is just find a planet like the find the closest planet outside of our solar system and show me the best image you could do of that. How far away is that? I don't know.

The closest habitable planet or the closest planet? No, just a planet. Just a rock outside of our solar system. Show it to me. I want to know what color it is. You know what? I'm going to go a step further and say that what I would really enjoy is,

because I know we have the tech and the capability to do so, especially now with the relays that we have, I want to live stream from people on the moon. And I also want to watch it in HD right now on the earth, and I want to see you big-ass bright light strobing at the moon. I want to look back. I want to see it. I want to be able to donate to make an astronaut do things.

Exactly. Exactly. Gamify it. Like, if that shit's not on Twitch the next time a person's on the moon and he's not responding to chat, then I don't want to live in it. PussySlayer72

donated $5 to NASA since... Stream ends in disaster once NASA enables text speech. Nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd. Text to speed 777. Okay. We are here on the moon.

And Gamerboy69, I will not say that. Have you guys seen that thing on Netflix? They might be Korean. I think it's a Korean space miniseries about people on the moon. I have not. You don't know the name of it?

It might be. I'll find it real quick. It's on Amazon? No, it's on Netflix. Oh, Netflix. I don't know. I haven't watched any space shows other than Expanse. I lost interest in that. Yeah. It's called The Silent Sea.

It's in Korean. I'm almost positive. But, you know, subtitles were good, and I don't know. The acting was good, I thought, too. I liked it a lot. Basically, it's in the future where it seems like... I don't remember why, but all the water on Earth

is dried up, and there's like water ration cards and stuff and all of humanity is going to die eventually at this point like the seas are dry and um there's some kind of experiment on the moon to perhaps fix that problem and then things go awry and it becomes very sci-fi horror i thought it was pretty good can you make it so that it does english dubbed instead of subtitles? I didn't look. I didn't look, but I didn't mind the subtitles. Just learn to read, you coward.

How am I supposed to play Magic the Gathering on my tablet at the same time? See, this is why everybody, like, oh, I can't split my attention. Appreciate the art the way God intended with subtitles. No, fine. The way the fucking Koreans intended. I have to read the whole time. And then get confused. And then get confused on which characters which,

because in the subtitles, we speak English. And so I characterize names like Jared and Jake and Steve and Lisa and, you know, Angie a lot easier than like Hu John and Ji Won Ma and Mang Hu and it's like... No, they've got fairly... The way I remember it is like one of the characters was like Dr. Soong and it was like...

Okay, she's the doctor. Okay, well if you've got a doctor I'll just remember that's the doc. Yeah, she's the doc. She's like the main person. She's trying to figure shit out. It's wild. Some guy starts vomiting water and he doesn't stop. That could be a solution to this problem.

Unlimited. That's the premise. Really? This guy just won't stop yacking water. We gotta tie you up and harvest your water. You're like a cow.

That's exactly what they do. Awful. Hate that. You should definitely watch it though. I thought there was a little bit of body horror and uh some like sci-fi horror stuff and i like anything on the moon and the special effects are pretty fucking good it looked like the moon was it like horror

or more like mystery solving i don't know like like more like i don't know more like no there's there's some there's some stuff creeping around and it's scary okay I'll check that out yeah that seems neat I just I could not stay with the expanse I lost interest in that which season uh I think middle or end of season two is when I dipped out all right so here's the problem with that or no uh early season three I stopped that's what it was I got like two or three episodes into season three and then just never watched again. It was on Amazon by then, right? I've only watched it on Amazon, yeah.

No, no, no. So it was originally produced by the Sci-Fi Channel and it aired there and they canceled it and Amazon was like, hold up. That looks like a cool show. Y'all got all the pieces. How about 350? They took that shit and they made it better because now they could

curse now and like if you've got an adult you don't need to curse in full house right because danny can say all shucks when he stubs his toe but like if we're fucking having a space battle and and you're and you're literally racist space pirates you might have some salty dialogue occasionally and that's okay and they could do that on amazon i don't know if they brought any nudity in but it got it got more sexy and it got uh like much better special tell me out then if i don't see space pussy i don't want in no i need to see multi-color pussy in space you gotta wait for the Jesus is horny for some space snatch

yeah I want to I'm getting more into sci-fi I'm finding myself scrolling through the sci-fi section of all the streaming apps looking and I admittedly I just look at movies I don't want to commit to a full sci-fi series of all the streaming apps looking and i've admittedly i just look at movies i don't want to commit to a full sci-fi series i'm just trying to find the movies and there's just not that many good ones like it's sci-fi is more similar to horror than i would have thought and that like it's a tremendous amount of them are just straight bad have you seen district nine i have yeah yeah have you seen elysium uh yes yeah i i thought

that was all right i liked it all right yeah district nine was pretty good i haven't seen it like since it came out i don't think you know who they originally wanted um to be in elysium as the star instead of matt? Who do they want instead of him? Eminem. They wanted Eminem. That would be awful. No, I thought he was great in the... What was Eminem's movie? Just imagine Eminem solving... Imagine Eminem

solving complex extraterrestrial cultivating life while he has a puncture wound in his tent. He's just, shit they didn't do the didn't teach me how to do this on 8th street in detroit starts rapping about how he's running out of potatoes please oh wait i'm thinking of the martian no oh never mind it was matt damon in the elysium too right

yeah but that's the one where you get to expose i was talking about the martian oh i missed i missed oh yeah it's elysium this makes a lot oh that's the upper echelon like yeah that's a class warfare thing yeah yeah so he's like he's got he's so blue he's like super blue collar and white trash and shit like he'd be perfect for that i don't know if i actually saw that movie i remember getting advertised quite a bit yeah so what happens almost like but battle angel or tiller or whatever the rich people live in a space station that's one of those it looks like a halo ring essentially and it exists like one so it's like gravitational and there's like water and trees and earth they're up there like chilling they have a cancer machine

they get in that's like a fucking um like like it's like getting a like a tanning machine like they get in it goes cancer removed but it's like i don't know a trillion dollars it's space money and like matt damon on the other hand gets exposed to radiation at his shitty factory job and they're like oh shit you took 80 billion giga giga rads or whatever you're dead in like 72 hours right and and so he's like i'm going to do whatever it takes to get to one of those magic suntan beds and he does it's pretty it's pretty wild like like he goes like yeah yeah well i mean that's like the first 15 minutes oh okay i'm remembering this movie more now that i i guess i haven't seen it since i watched it yeah i don't like this movie as much as I remember. It's not ideal, no.

It's not a great movie. It's just okay. But it would have been better with Eminem. That's what I think. You know what? I'll give you that one then. I don't think Eminem would do well in it. I think he was great in 8 Mile. Yeah, but that's a movie about his laughing. That's literally his life. He just played himself.

He didn't even have to act. He was acting. He did have to act. He acted to me. Yeah, Basinger is not his mother. But like he was sad and he was angry and he was beaten down and then he was risen up. I'm just saying it's easier to pull identity. It's easier to pull emotion from real life events you went through than it is to pull them out of thin air while your space shuttle is I don't know.

Yeah. The Martian was a great movie. But if Eminem was doing it, I would have hated it. Okay, I give you that. I'm not saying replace Matt Damon with Eminem across the board. That's what it sounds like you're saying. It sounds like you're trying to whitewash

Matt Damon. The Departed with Eminem? What are you, crazy? Ocean's Eleven with Eminem? Maybe. I mean, honestly, it might have... All right, we're going to need you to do a rap show. Eminem being a tortured genius in Good Will Hunting? Actually, that kind of works no no but maybe not math maybe

he could do something else really well is that movie as great as everyone says i think i i don't think i've seen it in 10 plus years yeah yeah goodwill hunting is a masterpiece you know when you see a movie and you remember liking it and then it becomes a movie that people are like oh you haven't seen that one like and then you start to almost like it more in retrospect. Where you're like, oh, everybody else liked this so much. Maybe I loved it when in reality you didn't. It was all right, though. It was pretty good.

No, it's excellent. I haven't seen it in a while. It's sad. It's really sad. Kyle will media gaslight you. He'll retell you about a movie you've seen that was like so so and it's like yeah that shit was epic and then you watch it and you're like oh this was bad the first time too got me again with this me every time i play a call of duty remake and i'm just like ah

yeah oh yeah didn't get enough of it the first time. Everybody's like 15 years into having the football pulled out from them in the middle of kicking. When's the last time that a COD came out and everyone was like, yes! Like Modern Warfare 2, maybe? And that was only for two weeks until the One Man Army Noob 2 thing happened? It was like a couple CODs ago, honestly. I like the first one that had the Battle Royale. It was called Blackout or something. Blackoutout that one was a good call of duty black

ops 3 had blackout or maybe it was four that one was the last good call of duty everyone since it has been awful it was highlighted like it got me back into playing like cod like we were playing oh we were grinding that stuff all night like it was yeah that was like i think that was after pub g um so we needed something new to grind on and i just love the sound of bullets hitting targets in that game it was it was fun right around that matter a lot yeah yeah there's matter yeah that dude tarkov doesn't do that but some it does a little like with some stuff it it's like... You can hear when you hit a headshot, and it goes through, like, a good

peen helm, and it makes that dink sound, and you're like, yeah, I killed him. Like, I'm pretty 100%. I've been messing around with a.338 Lapua, and when you shoot some with it, it looks like they got shot with, like... Like a spray gun. They go... the spray is different

when they're impacted it's this big i don't know the word the blood splatter that's maybe that's what i'm going for it so when they take an impact it looks like they were covered in dust and you slap them with your palm that like dust goes outof out of their character. It's the biggest round that you can fire at people. It's not a grenade. FMJ is 2,400 rubles a shot. But you don't need many shots. You just need one. Because it one taps the thorax.

But the gun is 675,000 rubles, I think, the way I have it quipped. You don't want to die with that do you run it solo no i'm broke yeah yeah i run it i do an offline mode it's fun offline mode's a good time i i'll i'm getting into tarkov but it factory offline you just set it to horde i think and and i mean we can make tarkov talk about twitch talk, and then it's fair. Because what BSG and Twitch has done with the drops has been... It's just BSG, and it has nothing to do with Twitch. Twitch just enables drops. I've heard that Twitch was the one who set the 24-hour requirement.

Okay. I'm not keeping up. I read that. 100% positive. You guys need to know. I believe you, but I read it. You guys are talking about something I don't understand. So the viewers must be there too.

Okay. What happened? So if you want to do a Twitch, this is all. I have not signed any deal with Twitch. This is just from people who have done Twitch drops, right? If you want to do a Twitch drop with Twitch, then there's a couple things they need you to figure out what is the content that you're offering um do how how long do you want people

to watch for this is there upfront ad spend like are we paying twitch to have free content are the jobs prime specific like there's a lot of things that go into it but ultimately it is the company and Twitch's responsibility to determine what's being given away and how frequently. And with Tarkov and quite a few other ones, they have a very wide difference between like what you can watch and get a drop for and what you should watch and what they want you to watch in order to get the good stuff.

So instead of some like Valorant, Valorant in order to get the good stuff. So instead of some, like Valorant, Valorant, in order to get a beta key last year, or however long it was, you needed to watch, like, two hours of Valorant of any stream. And it tracked across every stream. Only a few people got the drops, and that was how you got it. Then, you know, you could do, like, Call of Duty, where you have to be a Prime member, and you're watching, and you have to watch one streamer for one hour, but it doesn't carry over.

So if you switch, it changes. Like all these things are back-end changes that Twitch themselves can make. Instead of it being a watch this amount of time of streams and get rewarded randomly or get rewarded on a set interval. What they said is we'll give you rewards. It's just at increments of like 2, 8, 12, 24 hours. And the problem is 22 hours. Sorry. 22 and then 24. It was bizarre.

And the problem is that it's also active redemption where you can't passively watch you have to physically click on the button within like some amount of time five minutes of it popping up for us you don't get that reward and what's annoying is that battle battle state probably did talk to twitch and say hey we want to make it so bots can't claim these rewards however in doing so the scenario they set up is so fucking impossible for any normal human who wants to both watch and consume well not only did they fail because my chrome extension is accepting drops as we speak yes but like they made it like torturous like the whole thing is stupid. You have to watch this guy

for a full day of a day. In a 24-hour period, you have to watch him 22 hours just to get anything of value. They do this during their big patch. While they have all the eyes on them,

and I get that 70% of viewers on any given channel are just like me. Idle. Not watching. I don't even remember who I'm watching. I'm not watching. That's the point. But it's nonsense.

The whole thing is nonsense. It's absurd, too, because Kyle's right in that you have to watch 22 hours straight of one channel, right? hours straight of one channel right so for me somebody who had drops uh on the 30th i streamed for uh nine or ten hours that day that means that anybody that committed their time to watching me gave up the idea of getting the best drops that day they just said fuck it i just would rather not do that like that hurts me hard that they of, it sounds like it backfired what they wanted. They were like, we need a guy to really, really, really watch. 22 out of 24 hours, and bots can't do it. Oh, well, you made it so difficult, people won't do it.

Right, no. Literally, you have to bot in order to get the stuff. There's extensions that people made specifically for this drop and then the kyle's using and then on top of that now you have it worked really well if for the last two weeks every single one of like the top watch streamer that wasn't xqc and sometimes even with xqc streaming would be a tarkov streamer doing 48 hour live stream for my drops with help from my friends and they're this like group of tarkov streamers would just like live stream for my drops with help from my friends. And this group of Tarkov streamers would just live stream on the same account. So they're always live.

And just 50,000 viewers on an account that would normally get 1,000 stream. And the problem is this is great for BSG. They're fine with it because they don't care. They may say they don't want bots. Who's BSG, the company that owns it? They may say they don't want bots. Who's BSG, the company that owns it? They may say they don't want bots. They absolutely want bots. The streamers

are advertising the extension. They're saying, hey, do you guys know about this extension that'll allow you to keep watching me and leave the fucking room and get the hell out of here and just give me free shit on the video game? Well, here it is. The idea is getting more new eyes on the game

and they're accomplishing that the dumbest the dumb thing they're doing is doing any of this right after a patch because the game is it's on fire it is so fucked it's like it's like the original level of how awful it was trying to get into raids where when they first did drops and we're talking like 10 15 20 minute queue times during my drop days it's not optically good and like i'll like i'll be the first to tell you that i really do enjoy the game and i play it probably more than any other fps and i love it but there are ways to do it that look good from a business side and there are ways that are good to do it from a community oriented perspective this is bad publicity this is i mean when shroud is sitting there with like 97 000 people he's

going you know maybe i'll just he's playing bsg maybe i'll just uninstall bs uninstall this game maybe i'll just install tarkov how'd that be i think he's a real tarkov player i think be better if i did yeah we will just do that because it's so brutal as a streamer to sit there and do a podcast for 20 minutes knowing that like you're not getting in there and then especially because then if you're having a great raid a normal raid 20 minutes right if you're even staying in later than that you're just checking every cranny and but like it's so brutal to do that and you have two bad in later than that you're just checking every cranny and but like it's so brutal to do that and you have two bad raids in a row you spent an hour in queue and 30 seconds in the game and you're just like i don't even enjoy this forget the queue between games

now there's a queue to get into the oh yeah there's a queue to get into the so you have streamers with 50 000 people watching and let's just say 10,000 of them are literally brand new people who are into video games, are looking for a new video game, and are now being exposed to Tarkov for the first time, and their exposure is an 87,000 person queue that the big streamer is

sitting in, and he's looking at you with his thumb up his ass, thinking like... Very MMO-esque. It's very MMO expansion-esque when i was when i was new to tarkov this semi-related i watched tucker's video on what escape from tarkov was all about fucking hilarious it's like this is a tetris-like game where you organize your inventory and then he said something else and like you can do this in this game where you like equip a character or whatever there's a little mini game where you run around and pick shit up

but that's not really the essence of tarkov yeah it's like a market simulator where i try and time when i'm waking up to like also buying global stock items so i can like have fun and you're just like this is not the flea market and the inventory organization which it kind of is it was so frustrating a lot of did you kill it with that no i mean i think it was that was just like in a parody group of like how like like how to zero to hero it but it was just gone viral have you uh have you seen any cheaters this white yes i did report my i don't i'm not report happy i've can count on one hand how many times i've reported people yeah so i only do it when i'm very confident and i was playing with gold glove and we

were in dorms uh on the three story and i was on the ground floor coming out of the like the middle doorway area um you know when you come out of the security office so i was walking out the main door and he was on the third floor coming out of the top right and at the same time i walk out and i hear the crack and i go i'm dead and then i hear a crack again and he goes i'm dead and i was like same guy killed us right yeah i was like okay if you if we were in the same area and whatever but the fact that the guy you know one shot me in the head with m61 and then one shot you in the head with m61 and it's a whole entire building up to the left you could be a great player and that's great it's the only time that i've ever reported somebody because it was the time between the two he would have had to like it's like you're playing counter-strike he yeah shot flicked it yeah Yeah. You're just like, you can't do it.

I've seen two that I know for sure. Like there's been maybe three instances where I was like, that was a fucking hell of a shot. He made good on him. And that's just kind of how I go with it. And a lot of times it's a streamer. So like I've been killed by like half a dozen streamers. So I'll get on there and be like,

Oh, a lot of TTV years. And I'm like, all right. Yeah, for sure. But in one instance um my friend larry got sprayed head eyes with ppsh bullshit machine gun for those who don't know

from like a like 80 meters like he just goes and kills him and i'm like fuck this guy and i start like pop pop pop i'm having a pop fire with my aarchy so far away he turns around and goes and does the same thing to me so that's a hundred thousand there's no one not even not even no it's not even even if a hundred times out of a hundred a machine does that um and then um the other instance um i won't go into like room numbers and such but there's one way to get into a room i'm standing in it someone flies into the balcony grabs my backpack flies away with it so when i go back in the room even the back it's shoreline so the backpacks three quarters of a million and they just fly away with it they don't even want to fight i saw that happen to landmark i was watching his stream

it was pretty funny the guy flies into the like third story on dorms and he's like you're a wizard harry it's kind of like it's awful when it happens to you because, I mean, I'm broke and I've always been poverty level at Tarkov, right? But it is funny when you get those levels of like, people that either voip and are just very, like,

toxic or whatever. I'm saying it's bad for people playing the game, but content wise, it's funny. It's good content. I haven't had any toxicity. The worst I've had is people who are just competitive. I would call it basic trash talk. We're going to come in there and fuck you up. We're sending you back

to the stash, but nobody's calling me a slur or anything. I have yet to get called a slur in the game, but I've definitely ran into people that I wonder if it's a cultural thing because I would think in my head the people that play Tarkov are the type of people in general that may be predisposed to throwing around some less salacious words here but the shooters in general yeah shooters in

general I mean but like coming from Counter-Strike and Call of Duty where it's a dime a dozen, it was really surprising that Tarkov, I have yet to have that happen. And most of the time that I use VoIP, they are very timid, like very timid people. And I wonder if it's because there's actually risk in dying. So everyone, even the ones that are like trying to act tough, like I think one of my favorite things with voip now is screaming fbi open up and breaching doors right because like like i know that if i'm dying they're also laughing at the fact that this guy's just you know but i mean most of the time people like all right it's your chill i'm just gonna walk away and you're gonna walk away i'm gonna walk away you're walking away i'm walking away and you hear going to walk away. I'm going to walk away. You're walking away. I'm walking away. And you hear them fade away.

And then that's it. The thing is, every time these map gets created, there's something I'm going to make it up. 100 million rubles worth of loot scattered about. You go, you collect as much as you can and you leave. It's to everybody's advantage to not fight. Yeah. Everybody will get wealthier in general if you don't die. And you're taking a real risk if you and I decide that one of us is getting out of here.

That's how scav runs are now. There's scav karma, of course, but everybody knows we're in here to make money. I got terrified. Last game of last night. We can end Tarkov talk after this, but I wanted to share this. My last scav run of the night, I walked in and found a GPU and a Tetris right next to each other in the power room on Interchange and walked to extract in five minutes. It was awesome. It was just sitting on a shelf, a GPU in the power room.

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Do you prefer men to have bigger cum shots? It's going to go full circle. That's for the lock and load read. It's not about what they want. It's about what I want. So pause here. On our sex, I see two categories of people who need Bluetooth. One, young guys who come too quickly quickly but don't have a second round.

And it's like, ah, Blue Chew will fucking help you out there. Or two, old guys who could have a harder dick. And these are like couples in intimacy distress with a problem that $5 solves. And I want to just litter our fucking coupon code all every time i see i have never done that but it but it's on my mind like dude you need five dollars and coupon code pka and your dick will work better yeah and see if it makes you happier like i don't know i see it now on the Reddit and I'm like, it almost seems like a good deed. Anyway, I just want to

throw that out there. It's experience. Episode also obviously brought to you by Lock and Load. The premier, the creme de la creme cum pill available. It's the only one verifiably 100% approved by us.

So, you know, don't believe any product that doesn't have the PKA seal that I lobbied very heavily to have on there. Does the PKA seal have cum splatter? No, it doesn't. No, but the bottle does. Okay, technically there's only one product in existence that has the seal. Fair.

But it does what it says it does. What's next? We're going to let the FDA just slap their seal on things? If I have anything to say about it. Why are there Facebook and Instagram logos and shit on this? I would imagine those are for Gorilla Mind, not for us.

Oh, okay. I'm like, we're not on Facebook. Takes them to your Twitter account. Like, what the fuck? This doesn't have anything to do with Derek. Why am I looking at shirtless pictures of Woody? Yeah, this guy's not my fitness guru. But yeah, check out Lock and Load. Code PKA.

Zach, can you pull up that thing? Because it's fucking hilarious. I saw it on RSEX. I told you I i was there and zoom in so it's legible but um the the guy asked do women prefer a man to have a larger cum shot my wife was usually or oral or vaginal sex finishing there somewhere along the way it became hand jobs now she's completely oversexed when seeing me come it's sort of built from seeing demanding very large con shot cum shots she's not entirely into doing anything to me at all but rather just watching me jerk off and see a lot of cum see this is a thing that women do they are evaluating you and judging you by the size of your load and we can help i mean it seems like his wife has already

married him so i don't know if that's what she's doing now you're better to their marriage did you not read it carefully now he said he needs yeah she gets oversexed and her reply her response is based on the size of his load yeah she's excited seeing his excitement visually increased by, well, I guess what it sounds like is that this guy is struggling to hit the measure that his wife wants. Yeah, dude. We can help. We can help that guy. We're going to send him a free link where he can purchase the product. The link costs not a dime, folks.

Not a dime. Free links for all. We put it in the description free of charge. You see a lot of YouTubers out there charging for links. Not us. $3.99 just to know where they want you to buy their products from. Not here. Those bastards. Not here.

And then, of course, the coupon code PKA works on all the stuff there if you want to get the pre-workout, which is the best one. It's the one I use. Or whatever. Is it 25% off everything with our code? I don't even know. But it's off.

It's something off with our code. Something is good. Yeah, it's definitely more than 0%. We like more than zero. Yeah, so you can buy shit with our code we make money and we like making money how many people in your life know now oh goodness i'm not that shy about it i mean i i pitch it as if i am a titan of an emerging industry i am a jizz biz mogul and I hold my chin high.

I see. What about you? I try not to tell people about things like this. Well, your people are going to learn when they meet me. Did you hear about this thing Kyle and I are doing? They don't need all the information. No, I tell people more or less.

It's not what I open up with when I meet someone or anything. But yeah, my family and friends think it's funny. I told my dad months and months ago before we had sold a bottle, and he thought it was hilarious. Yeah. Well, he's right. It is hilarious. And your thing, it actually really hit home with me.

You're like, yeah, we have competitors in this space. They give you one pill a day they don't work ours is five in the morning and four at night because it's actually designed to fucking do something yeah if we were if we if we were just lying we'd nine pills yes it's nine pills because it really does something we could like everyone else in the space does. Everyone else is full of shit. It's five tiny pills every morning and four tiny pills at night.

The pill's smaller than a hot dog. Dude, I used to take fistfuls of pills to get the combined ingredients. We have condensed kilos of pills into nine pills. Can we sell 18 pills in a syrup? And it's like, we have to keep working.

That's too much. Derek's just in a laboratory scratching his head like, I can't get it down to less than 47 pills and this keg of powder would you guys mind rubbing a stab on your anus twice a day we're just like no pills no more anus stabs you fooled me once derek never again so yes we got it down would it hear me up this one we insert rectally suppository oh initially it was one enormous suppository and he wouldn't let me look at it while he put it in for every ounce of liquid you're gonna come one half of that same ounce

it's very inefficient. It was smaller than a cucumber, but it was a lot to work with. Oh, God. Dude, I like the Lock and Load ad reads or show highlights. Yeah, you watch the – I like the Wadsworth video, that creepy-ass video. I sent it to Derek on Discord today. Oh, you got that done? What's he going to do with it?

Is he going to put it on his channel? He might put it on his channel. I don't know. I don't know what he's going to do with it. But I think maybe he just wants to show his friends and laugh, but it's fucking hilarious. It's really creepy. I'm going to remember who had that done for us and give them credit

for it eventually but i'm sorry i can't i'm not good with names um you send me a message dude remind me that you made this because he like paid to do it i don't know what you paid dr wadsworth here to make as much as five dollars i imagine i think it was a little bit more i think i can't remember his reasoning but he was just like i don don't know. I just had like $15 in my account. I thought, fuck it. But, which makes sense to me. Cause I've, but here's this,

this, this man on my screen right now wearing this lab coat and, and like giving a, a pretty decent performance in front of a hospital green screen. And, and for $15, he seems like a lot of work for him. Yeah. Yeah. I looked at that cameo stuff

like you can do like some youtubers do it and sometimes like actual celebrities that have been on tv and a lot of them are like 30 i paid 50 for white claw claw game the fuck yeah baby friday fuck you you know that guy no all right miss that one missed that target demo it was this this uh guy that was on big on vine and tick tock of being like fuck baby friday fuck you steak baby fuck it doesn't matter that was what he did i spent 55 to get him to do one that i was going to use for stream intros and i got back the literal bottom of the barrel most half-assed thing I've ever gotten. Aww. It wasn't good? Did you ever use it?

No. You should play it and mock him and expose how bad his cameo is. It's so bad that I got bored of the video in 10 seconds. I was like, there's phoning it in and then there's like you really knew that this was phoning it in.

It was bad. So, not great. He's running a cameo scam. Yeah, I got scameoed. I've never heard that. Okay. I think there's some people that make a ton of money on there. Like, everybody wants...

Chris Hansen makes a shit ton. I'm not, like, you laugh but like that's his main that's his gig now huh yeah he's getting chris he made a lot though yeah his are his are pretty expensive too think about it yeah i was gonna say a hundred bucks well i mean it's probably closer to 100 for chris hansen uh for a 60 second video being hey, why don't you take a seat here? Happy birthday. You know? And you can nail out. If we're talking, you're doing one every two,

one every five minutes because you're lazy. It's 20 an hour. No, it's not. That's not math. 30 an hour. Five minutes would be 12, right? 12 an hour. Same thing.

All that's math. It's not. That's not math. 75 bucks. 75 bucks for Chris Hans hansen yep yeah so let's just let's just say he wants to put in one hard day of work and he does one he does he does he does 10 an hour for eight hours so 80 hour 80 80 times 75 what's what's that in money nobody knows that yeah nobody knows that that's we haven't done that 600 bucks yeah well imagine he's making in one day i mean but for like what is what was chris hansen's like twilight oh zach says it's 6 000 oh we'll see i just need to add

a zero the way i i was there well yeah wait a minute 75 bucks for and i'm like yeah 600 bucks so close i got a fucking dumb as shit oh i love this podcast like i just took that a face value it's like yeah he does like what one every he does what 10 an hour and 75 bucks what is that over eight hours 60 dollars clearly i did the math correctly i'm just high god damn 600 is also right it is right all right you just move the decimal point over that's important the way i do middle math is i just needed to move the decimal point one more yeah chris hansen works three days a month and loves his job in orange county that i wonder if you still gotta deal with those civil suits well 10 hours is it strong was he personally liable for those civil suits after that guy killed himself i wow i hope not and that's

very well you know chris hansen longtime friend of the show he will apparently talking about it apparently that that that whole thing like like the vigilante ism, whatever, however you say that the vigilante YouTube channels and stuff, the ones that caught that Sony PlayStation Network. Deb. Yeah. Wait. And EDP. Yeah. The same people did not the same people. I'm sure. Oh, no. EDP self-reported and or other people outed him correctly. But the head of Sony multiplayer got caught on a vigilante channel. And the problem is that a lot of the times this interferes with a very real sting probe or whatever that fucks with the actual investigation of it.

Because they can't use any of the like evidence NBC evidence. Yeah. Yeah. They're just like, what the fuck? Like you just glorify. It's like the same thing. Judge Judy's not actually handing sentences down.

They just commute or whatever it's called. And then go to there for like a paycheck and everybody sorts it out. Yep. Yeah. That makes it. And she's, she's got her own thing now right hella rich yeah she's made like hundreds of millions but now i i i saw it advertised to me on amazon maybe like she's got like her own thing separate like maybe she's producing her

show now because i remember the thing was that like every year she would go into the uh the boss's office like whoever was running the show and like put a number on the table and it was what she wanted to be paid that year and they she's like they either pay me that much or i leave that she she was earning like 115 million she was like second to oprah only like that was how absurd judge and it was for years so that's why i'm like the fact listen if i made 115 million dollars one year i think i'd probably stop trying so hard but judge judy no you should have you ever watched her norm mcdonald interview uh it's on so like norm's interview well he had the norm show right oh yeah yeah and they talk about that judy's just like do you have anything to say for yourself he's like my wife was raped with a knife it's like oh hell yeah i mean like i didn't know what

what situation sorry but go ahead but i want to say he asked her about that like you got plenty of money uh why why are you still doing this it's just like you know i just want to leave something for the kids and uh like i love my job and this and that and kind of made sense at the end like like yes packing it up i just like the like the generational wealth that judge judy was pumping out still is now she's judy justice or something like she has her own thing that she's producing i'm sure i as of 2021 as of 2021 the estimated net worth of Judy Scheindlin is $440 million. Good for her. She's half a billion dollars, and none of her courts even go to the court of law. No, she's not a real judge.

Was she ever? Probably. She she's not a real judge. Was she ever? Probably. She must have been a real judge. Although Dr. Phil, is Dr. Phil a real doctor? She had the hammer. I saw that. The gavel. No, she's not a judge, so she has to come on.

They don't hand those out. She has to get some random guy to come over and smack it those off amazon yeah no no certainly can't pretend to be a judge in public for discounts i don't think judges get discounts no i just got an actual email from a real business associate not in the gaming sense that that said maybe we can get on a call and this would be easier to suss this out have you ever sussed this out suss this out yes that is fucking is he a boomer i don't know but that's i've heard that before why is it awful because i think you're thinking it's i'm thinking of among us yeah i think it comes from it predates that by a lot oh thank god that makes this way more consumable

yeah i'm thinking he's like haha you sussy baka you among us it out like it's like i'm no no work through it you're gonna work oh okay all right this is way better because like in the context we're talking about payroll stuff. And I thought he was like, we got to fucking vent the sussy Among Us guy over there. I thought you were calling it out because it's such an old timey way to say we're through something. Oh, thank God. That makes me so much happier. And it means to find or discover something by thinking,

to inspect or investigate in order to gain more knowledge. Wow, Among Us really fucked with me, huh? I almost responded with like, what the fuck's going on in here? I'm cutting all ties, you fucking creep. Hello? I don't want to work with you guys. What the hell? You're adults. That's so funny.

You thought you were sussy. Did you see Antonio Brown quit football the you see antonio brown uh yes football the other day in the middle of a football game well is that how um arian foster left or was it not mid-game did i just make that up in my head did he walk up surely he was mid-season and it was in a game he discovered that he didn't he wasn't passionate about winning oh i remember hearing this and he just said that he retired mid-game, but it was not a spectacle. It was just people wondering why he didn't continue to play,

whereas Antonio Brown literally removed his clothing and threw his shit into the opposing team's fans and then walked off. Oh, you haven't seen the best of it. He didn't walk off through the sideline he walked across the field like during an offensive drive he walked across the field shirtless and he's just like waving to the fans as he goes and he's just like fuck all y'all he just quit tom brady is back there trying to win the game and antonio's got his shirt off head to his car

so he's a wide receiver with Brady, right? Am I right about that? He has a very storied and troubled past, behavioral and otherwise, both with Pittsburgh where he got his big start with the Steelers to where he moved in with Brady when he first came down there. And he bounced around. I think he was with the Rams or somebody for like six days. He's very troubled and at Raiders.

What I can only assume is, and especially while looking at this, is a very visible example of CTE, right? Like concussion damage and head injury issues. Like he is a wild person, but this story isn't like, the story's wild because why he walked off is now a point of contention. He, there's a, he said that,

let me try and like give you a quick rundown he said that coach the coach of the buccaneers walked over to him and said hey you got to go in and play and antonio brown who's been injured and hasn't played for a couple days with his ankle injury etc was like coach i don't see i'm i don't think i can go in so coach arian according to Antonio Brown, made a slicing across the neck motion with his thumb and said, you're done. And so Antonio Brown then said, well, fuck you. I'm quitting the team and left. A lot of this stems on Antonio Brown basically saying,

hey, the coach didn't know I was injured. And I said, I'm down to play, but I don't know if I can play this drive, and he thinks that he got cut from the team. To try and maybe normalize this, Antonio Brown also thought that his personal dietician left the head of a salmon in his freezer as a threat to his life. Did the dietician do that no he saved it for soup stock as you would probably with a head of a fish they saved it for soup stock i don't know you have a fish head in my freezer i'm taking it um so basically it and like there's there's

somebody who has a reddit thread that goes through every absurd thing in the last six years to eight years that Antonio Brown has gone through. The man in his best moments is very rough to try and explain. Right. He has outbursts and experiences that are just fucking weird. Even if you removed. Can we pause? Is he really, really good at football is he really really good at football because really incredibly good at football like first round ballot hall of famer if the last three years

four years didn't happen and even then like people were just willing to be like well he's kind of an asshole and we don't really understand it but he's that good at catching balls i think if i was that good at catching balls i'd be a bit of an asshole too right why would you be the perfect teammate when you could when you've earned a little capital you know like like you were like you know what coach i like it when you suck my dick i'm just saying i like it a lot we're gonna have to do that on the sidelines and all right here let me explain i'm just gonna throw out some random things from this this this like limited timeline he when he got hired by the raiders he refused to play football because the nfl changed what would be an acceptable helmet that would protect the player

right so he refused to play with any helmet that wasn't his old helmet. So the NFL is like, you can't play. And so then he made an entire event around him trying to find an old helmet that would fit the right whatever, like the right like format for that. And then suited up to play and then wore his old helmet into the game. Antonio Antonio Brown is fully vaccinated, however bought a fake COVID card from his old personal

chef because he didn't want to deal with getting a COVID card. So he's been like dealing with CTE for a while then. So it's probably for the best. I mean, for someone to leave a fish head in your freezer and for you to take that as a threat is like something is seriously off.

It's easy to explain every weird thing a football player ever does away with CTE. Every does away with CTE. It is easy to say that. I just want to say, crazy people play football too. Right. I just, I think that this is a borderline case where somebody is behaving so abnormally throughout so many years of getting the shit knocked out of them. That the easy response is CTE is a causation of this. But I do not think that is the only reason

why he's like this. Because when I say there's a book that can be written about the things that he did, said, didn't do or otherwise that don't even fit the right format of brain injury, the guy is a diva at its core. And he's been doing this for years and years. It's not like the last four years of his career he went off the... He's that good at football. He's been doing this for years. It's not like the last four years of his career.

He's that good at football. He's so good at football. He's such a good football player. He doesn't care about winning. No, he really does care about winning. No, you're not following me. Antonio Brown, whatever his name is, should be asking his coach for head.

If his coach doesn't do it, that coach doesn't want to win. That's true. That's true. That is true. The problem is that he was on the Steelers for a while, and Tomlinson kept him in lock. He has been asking for head, whereas that's the issue, is he's been outright showing up at the Raiders,

and he was like, who's sucking my dick? And they're like, we're not. We're pretty desperate. We're not that desperate. So they just let him go. The issue is that he's actually asking people to suck his dick. And it's like and it's unironic. I the poor guy.

I like I've really, truly try and to myself um that there are people that just he really is just going through it but uh oh yeah this did just come out that antonio brown snuck this person into his hotel uh a uh only fans model uh antonio brown also likes getting shit on his chest first of all he has OnlyFans model in his hotel. I don't know why there's any sneaking involved. Also, you just can't the night before the game, you can't just whisk a woman away in the dead of night.

Ronda Rousey used to do that. She said that sex released testosterone and that she would get boned before a big fight. Ronda Rousey got knocked the fuck out twice in a row. Maybe she should have kept some of that testosterone. She now she was the best ever for until somebody was better she was the best ever until like someone else came up and dominated her and then someone else came up and dominated her like i remember we even talked about this years ago it must be like six seven years ago when like joe Rogan was saying shit like,

I think that she could take down some male fighters. She's the best of the best. The best there's ever been. It's like, Joe, I get it. It's your job to pump up everybody's tires. You're a hype guy. You're trying to get. But I think a lot of people really bought into it.

And I think the three of us even said on the show like she is just the fucking you know the guy in 1909 in mlb who figured out how to bunt a ball let me reply to this you're right about that and he said that when he said that he believed it he thought it was true and in hindsight he cringes at what he said so fair enough i'm sure his opinions change because he like he's like a commentator for a very burgeoning sport even now and so like the best of the best of the best from 10 years ago who who there's been three best of the best since then you're gonna have to give me a name you know it's fun it's true of all time nobody's gonna speak our names in the greatest uh hierarchy of of commentators.

All right? And yet here we are, us four. Here we are. We're the guys in the UFC. We go 2-15 and help bolster everybody else's records. Nobody talks about Babe Ruth. They talk about Alex Rodriguez and his $150 million. All right?

Not us. In MMA, that's a lot of Ms, I think, the greatest of all time is kind of whoever is greatest right now. Yeah. Basketball is a little more established. That's not necessarily true. When LeBron James retires, you might still say it was Jordan. You might say it was LeBron, but it's probably not whoever is the best today.

Whoever beats, you know, whatever, Charles Oliveira, it's probably the best there's ever been. Yep. Yeah. Although I'm interested to see that I think Tyson Fury has agreed to fight Francis Ngannou in boxing, but wearing MMA gloves. Isn't Tyson Fury like seven feet tall?

I don't know. Does he weigh over 265? So MMA gloves have the rough ridges and their form, their hard gloves versus boxing are padded. Yeah, so it's basically bare-knuckle fighting with boxing rules, which is a slugfest, which I'm down for. I like boxing as a sport. I just wish they would actually maybe risk their lives a little bit.

Well, because I'll watch USC, and I'm like, I might watch your femur, like, shatter. And I don't want that. But the excitement of knowing that I may see a grotesque injury well within the confines of the sport. The stakes. The stakes are a little higher. Like, you watch boxing.

You get all excited. Oh, my God. And you get all excited oh my god this and you're like oh he looks like a fucking fitness model if martians were coming to the planet looking for the perfect example the male physique they would grab this fighter from this heavyweight boxing right and then there's tyson fury who doesn't look like that but he even beats that guy and like this is gonna be amazing and then it's a 12 round pillow fight i and it's not yes it happens all the time but it doesn't really well it does happen at ufc but not typically like there's a real threat that there's a knockout any moment and but mayweather right as like the best boxer of all time is not exciting

to watch and never has or sorry most of the time is not whereas with ufc you're spot on i agree with you even the undercard. I'm not a fan of the sport technically. I just want to see a good fight happen. And you can get that in the undercard, in the main card. Women, men, it doesn't matter. It's just like a little bit more substance, I guess. Not as subjective.

It is a better sport. I wonder, though, if you put MMA gloves on boxers, how that changes things. Because right now Tyson Fury can throw a punch as hard as he wants. If you give him four ounce gloves, how do his hands hold up? I don't know the answer. Does that mean for somebody who doesn't know his four ounce light or heavy?

Like you train with 16. Do you fight with 16 ounce gloves or 12 i'm not 100 sure i mean different different um different guys use different are we talking boxing so let me pause here a ufc glove is four ounces okay lightweight it's very small and light and then a boxing glove is i think like 12 to 16 ounces but i could yeah i'm trying to think what Mayweather and, um, and McGregor did, but little guys, there was some talk about that. Yeah.

Each individual fighter is training. So the UFC guys aren't training with 12 ounce, 14 ounce boxing gloves training. They probably wear 16 ounce boxing gloves in, in practice. That's what you said. So then they drop the weight and then they're throwing. But when they compete, they wear four-ounce glasses.

They train with 16-ounce. They don't hurt each other. It's more that you can't hit each other with those gloves without getting cuts and breaking. Right. So wouldn't that be the issue is because when I see UFC gloves from a casual, it looks like the knuckles are very sharp. And like if you get caught on like with a – I mean if you get caught, I feel like with UFC, part of the issue as a casual fan is that you're not targeting the face a hundred percent of the time, right?

Like you have legs, thighs, you have other soft tissue area, but with boxing, because there's no lower body, all of your blows are going to be face and upper body oriented, right? Right. So if you're limiting the padding on those, like one, it would almost be super brutal both for the puncher and the other person because it's just like all of it is up there. That's where I was headed. And where I was wondering was if you take a guy who hits as hard as a heavyweight boxer and then remove the padding from his hands, does he have to throw more lightly? Or can he really hurt a guy because he doesn't have that padding?

Probably hurt himself more. A little of both, right? How does it play out? He knocks the guy out and breaks his hand. And he doesn't care because the guy's knocked out. I mean, like this guy, I'm just looking up their stats. Ngannou, has Ngannu ever fought someone bigger than him he's 6 4 249 he's got an 83 inch reach like he's probably used to being the big guy right yeah okay i don't remember one where

he's bigger okay so tyson fury just a little bit larger he He's six foot nine, 280 pounds, and he's got two inches of reach advantage. And I checked his record to make sure he wasn't some faker boxer looking for publicity. 32 and out. Pretty good guy. He's throwing some punches. So if just going based on that, Ngannou is going to get humiliated. This guy's just too big. You can't handle him francis with inganu's whole tactic being to be i'm not sure to overpower him he's going to get in the

ring for the first time in his career with someone not an inch not two inches taller mma is getting mma guy is going into the boxing ring and getting his shit kicked in not the other way around. That is my guess because it doesn't seem like it's not some no-name boxer calling out some guy who doesn't box that well. This guy apparently is the best boxer on the planet. And again,

what everybody seemingly forgets every time we watch people pay $60 for a pay-per-view Davin or whatever the fuck that thing is of KSI fighting is that boxing is a sport based off of technicalities and is not a sport based off of who's getting the shit knocked out of them. Like, like that's just not the way that you play the sport. So if you have, what do you say? Five inches, eight inches reach, like technically speaking, like you gave them the

control stick or whatever, like're just going to be better. You got a host advantage. You're good. I don't know about that. Tyson almost never fought anybody. It's a tall, skinny guy versus a short, strong guy. But in this heavyweight class where people don't always max out the weight, you can have a big, strong guy who's longer.

I mean, this guy has beaten some like big guys deontay wilder one of the best boxes on the planet i know who tyson fury yeah i didn't i'm helping the people in the audience oh i'm sorry i took it like we're the only people deontay wilder very 42 and 2 who handed them those two? Both of them. Fury. Tyson Fury is like the only guy outside of Mayweather that I think you could throw out and people are like,

yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. But I think that if you flip the roles where you have Tyson Fury fighting in MMA, it becomes a little bit more fluid. But if you take somebody who's... Tyson Fury has

offered. Tyson Fury has done MMA training. Tyson Fury has learned to grapple. Now, we're not saying he's a good grappler, right? It takes a long time, 20 years, to be a good grappler. Well, 15. But he tried. He's done a little training he's probably he

probably knows how to armbar a guy like he's he's probably knows how to defend an armbar a little bit because tyson fury is entertaining the idea of fighting in the ufc right i don't know how he can make 265 but he's talking about it dana would increase the weight limit he'll just he'll just go, eek, eek. They're good. I want to see, like, I want to see oversized. He's going to do, like, a. That's where I'm heading. Like, they've reduced weight limits before. They can make it happen. Yeah, but so Dane is not in charge of the weight limit.

It's actually, who is it? The athletic commission who does it. But I do agree if he was, that's how they do it. In any case... Yeah, he'd lobby them. He'd be like, hey, we want to change this. We want the weight limit to be a little higher. I just... What I was

going to say is that I feel like if you box somebody in, no pun intended, to fighting with only their hands when they've traditionally been trained and their whole life have been fighting with their bodies, it is so much easier, even if you're physically on the same plane, to beat them than if you open up. All right, maybe I misspoke, but then if you take boxers and you say, hey, everything goes, I think that mentally it's harder to refrain from using all of your tools at your disposal when that's your entire fighting style and go into the boxing ring than it would be to go from boxing to otherwise. Well, see, they train like that, though.

Like, it's something they do. I'm sure they do. They do boxing, sparring, and I don't think they're... Oh, sorry, I got carried away and kicked you there. You would definitely be like, I could kick you right now if I wanted to. And they'd be like, yeah, I'd kick you right back. What's your point?

Well, this seems like it'd be a fun fight to watch in GIFs the day after. Are there any martial arts that are only kicks? What, just shin kicking? I don't know. It's like, fuck! It just hurts. The answer is no, but I want to see that fight.

So I think that... The hacky snack version of MMA. I personally think that... No hands kickboxing. Just the indoor soccer without shin guards. No, no, no. I think that boxing, because it's just hands, is boring, but I think the opposite wouldn't be true.

I think that fighting with feet only would be awesome. And the ref is blowing the whistle in the middle of it, like hands back in the pockets, hands back in the pockets. It's just a bunch of cold Europeans just kicking the shit out of you. I don't think the boxing

is boring though i wanted to be like i do i can't i can't stand it and the judging is corrupt so i so judging is awful i agree with that can't enjoy the sport if the judging is awful if i'm continuously going to be like all right well the other guy want another i watch football and that's pretty bad too so football can be bad sometimes i watched a youtube compilation of like bad calls the other day and it was across all sports but the majority of them were from the nfl do you see kyle lowry get ejected from the game yes you did so kyle lowry is a nice guy in the nba he's i think you'd regard him as a sweetheart generally no one's perfect and um he picked up the ball and he threw it underhand to the ref very much

like you would if you were throwing it to your mom or a child the ref wasn't looking and it hit him in like the belly gently and he got ejected from the game for it oh that's ridiculous it was like the announcers the tv guys everyone everyone was like, that was a terrible, terrible call. But it almost reminds me of the police where it's like, oh, I see. You're just proceeding down this route because you refused to admit that you could possibly be wrong. Yeah, I mean, that's absurd. If he had tried to like bean him right in the head, it'd be different. But it just seems like the ref wasn't on his game i can imagine a day where like he throws it to the ref with a little mustard on it like a little

attitude and you eject him for that like hey no it's not even that's not what happened here i wasn't saying that was what happened but i can imagine a scenario where you put a little mustard on it and you're like no let's nip this in the bud we can't start making that a thing this guy if you were throwing it to a six-year-old this is how you would go about doing that it was underhand and gentle so is the ref are you watching it or anything i guess the league gonna be like dude come on like we're not that i know because you're the ref and we always have the refs bags for the most part but never again dude come on you're making us look like assholes you're 100 right but i don't know

if they're doing that tucker do you have any idea if these refs like look refs make bad calls i again dude come on you're making us look like assholes you're 100 right but i don't know if they're doing that tucker do you have any idea if these refs like look refs make bad calls i get it they do right so but they're unionized harder than anyone else the nfo reps are so unionized that you can't even well i know we're talking about nba but i'm just saying i'm assuming they have the same i'm not well vested in in the the NBA, but the NFL I do care about. And we went through the replacement refs fiasco that was like seven, eight years ago where they basically brought up like division, like one, two, and three college refs to replace.

And when I say it was a travesty, like it was so comically awful that you're like there's people that are putting money on these sports yeah vegas odds and vegas is like we guys guys we got to figure out a way to not have this happen again it was so why was it bad because i don't think people say that about d1 reffing every saturday but how many d1 referees are, how many D1 schools are there? There's 32 NFL teams, right? Sure. And D1 schools, what, 115 or something? I mean, I'm guessing probably more than that. And what about D2 and D3, right? Infinitely more. So what I'm saying is that when, who was, who, did the ref had a bad call with the Davidson versus South Carolina? Like, I don't know.

Like, are you going to remember that? Whereas the internationally broadcast and hyper-focused regional calls of the 32 teams, the refs having a bad stint or bad stints are very much more hyper media sized. I'm not saying that the refs are media sized. Tough media. That's what I came up with. Media size. Media size. Not public size.

Put it all around. Media media size. God damn it. It's just like they're they're um the the refs the refs need to be held accountable and in unfortunately in a lot of these sports the refs have far too much um shielding from criticism because it is too much effort to train a referee up to the point where they can handle that level of game um that that that uh importance uh what comes to mind is like a united states versus mexico soccer game like probably the most bare bones yeah we we call this soccer but it's not like there's like

people getting their eyes gouged out and shit and And you have to try and control the game. That happens. Play it in a fair way. The most recent U.S. versus Mexico game involved a scuffle where a United States player on the ground sitting had his head grabbed like this and his eyes virtually gouged as he was pulled back in the middle of a foul where two United States players got yellow cards and one Mexican player got a yellow. And it wasn't even the guy that like went in on it. It was the people that retaliated.

It was so bad. So the refereeing was super terrible. Uh, Western, Western hemisphere. Uh, soccer is pretty bare bones and not that great. Yeah.

I didn't even know we had soccer rivalries. Hey, Mexico, U.S. is great. And all of CONCACAF is like, it's like watching like Little League play. And you're like, oh, look at the kids. All of CONCACAF. CONCACAF is Canada, U.S., Mexico, and Central America. So like Honduras, Costa Rica, Jamaica.

That's our soccer league. And it's just not up to snuff. Mexico is clearly the best. No, the U.S. is actually definitely the best. Argentina is really good, right? Argentina is common ball. They're Southern America. CONCACAF is Central America.

Taylor, you have to be racist when you say it like that. Yeah, Jared, now you can't just make up say it like that. No, no. I'm just like, no, it's common ball. No, common ball is Southern America. So all of South America is common ball, but CONCACAF is central North America.

What is common ball? Taylor, it's like we're explaining this to a child. Brazil, Venezuela, Argentina, Chile. Is that the same ball? All of South America. What do they call it? Like Germany and Italy. Like what do they play?

All right, here, here, here. Here's how I'm going to explain it to you. Cannonball is like the SEC, right? And then you've got the ACC, the SEC. You've got the Big Ten, right? That's all of these federations of soccer just globally so like the u.s is not the acc that's like central europe those guys are really good at those guys are really good at whatever they're doing over there yeah we're like in the mac 12 uh yeah we're in like the we're in like boise idaho territory where we're like in the Mac 12. Yeah, we're in like Boise, Idaho territory.

They're like, they play this. They have the same ball over there. I don't know if they play the same sport. Not even Boise State, like some other smaller school. No, Boise State's far too good. We're like Boise Tech. So do we ever do Boise Tech? Do we ever get, like, does the U.S. ever do 1v1s and like exhibition games versus we're so good

right now we have some players that are internationally incredible christian um is that all right there we have one guy who plays for chelsea who got i think it's like a hundred million dollars this he's like the second coming of christ for us wow as of right now we are the yes that's what we're talking about americans so the i'll circle back yeah the american team that we have as good as we've ever had it if not better the problem is that like with landon donovan and uh and some of the other people like michael bradley some of the other people, like Michael Bradley, some of the other people that maybe you'd think of back in 2010, they were media personalities, but they kind of fucking sucked. We have really good players, but all of them are like 22.

That's a good thing. It's a good thing because we host the 2026 World Cup. Stop there. So we hosted a World Cup, maybe you'll know ages ago atlanta in 96 or whatever new york but you're probably right or they did like a u.s world cup for sure and our team was good and i'm like whoa we've got a badass team that's kind of cool and then i learned all our good players were not american does this sound sound right to you? Did we put together like an ensemble cast of soccer players? Like, all right, here's the thing with the World Cup and the Olympics, right?

You get to choose where you play. If you live in a country, but you were born in another one, you're free to give your loyalty to another country. So if I was born in Germany and I moved over when I was five to the US, if I want to represent Germany, like that's what I can do. So our team at the time

and continuously has been awful. We have actually, for the most recent stint, we have quite a few team members that like have migrated from mexico who are mexican born or or jumped over or at least like i i should say like western hemisphere born or some that were even central european that were born there and then grew up in the u.s that have chosen loyalty for us which is huge so if we get a bronze medal or better they get like citizenship there's zero

percent chance we get a gold medal like quite literally there's the u.s did we even get a gold in um basketball for the olympics this year have we even tried did you could you send nba players or no we could they just all of our good players were like why would we ever do that the america has the rare issue of now all the best NBA players are not necessarily American and all the best American players are so fucking rich why would they ever risk injury like imagine getting injured

for a bronze the very best players we did win the Olympic gold medal the very best players play more games so a lot of times they want to rest that summer. But like Luka Donovic or whatever his name is. Yeah, Luka. Yeah, who's like this 22-year-old Chad of a human.

And he's just like from Ukraine. Have you watched him play? I'm not big into basketball. So he's white. And he has really good physique. He's feeling better. Well, first of all, he's white. It's like, yeah, he's Ukraine. He's white and he has really quick feet. He's feeling bad. Well, first of all, he's white. It's like, yeah, he's really great.

He's white. So even though he's athletic, he just looks a little less athletic. Like without a tan, without dark skin, your muscles don't have that same definition. And he's slow pretty much, but he's really athletic. And one of his go-to moves is he'll drive into the paint and then go even fucking slower. And everyone can't even like – Yeah, and he just like – It messes him up.

And then he speeds up to – So he goes average, extra slow, back to average again. And the whole league is like, I don't even know how to defend this. He's like deking them with his erratic – He is. He's deking them. Yes. Oh, my God.

I haven't heard somebody say that in a while. You got to watch hockey. I know. More hockey. He interviews well. He's funny. He's deking them. Yes. Oh, my God. I haven't heard somebody say that in a while. You got to watch hockey. I know more hockey. He interviews well. He's funny. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Yeah, it's just it is it is very surprising. Not surprising. It's very nice to see Americans care a little bit more about sports that we traditionally have not cared about, specifically soccer, because that was like my bread and butter, specifically soccer because that was like my bread and butter but also kind of weird to see us not give a shit about sports that we absolutely unequivocally without any issue would dominate for the next 50 years if they actually put time and effort into both baseball and basketball like

we just sent good players that wanted to play together i know we just won the gold medal but like they would like it just it would be kind of i thought we always won the gold medal we lost alan we had a year i remember that couple awful years like the dream team was 96 right 84 84 even earlier than that am i wrong i'm not sure i need to know, but like when everybody thinks like, oh, the U.S. stops caring about basketball. Yeah, we had like three good years, and then we sucked for a long time. I just, I mean, it doesn't really, how serious can you take the basketball Olympics?

Like if we're not even sending our best guys. No, now you should, I think that basketball might be one of the more competitive global sports because Eastern Europe, Greece, even China and East Asia, they're getting into it. Baseball was America's, somebody's going to say, you guys can't hear that.

Somebody's just throwing a party outside my apartment right now at the stop i hear it a little yeah i like i like there's a train like i've never heard music this loud dick like i almost think i can hear a little bit of it um uh yeah either way i don't know you thought the music was in your house at first. I thought it was in my, yeah. I was like, what is going on? Is there a party? He's literally checking to make sure there's not a party at his house right now. It does seem like. He's not invited to, apparently.

Like, Americans are less excited about the Olympics, at least the athletes, than people from other countries. Less excited about sports, it seems like. Maybe it's rebounded a little bit but like there was a political thing where half of america didn't like football anymore right like republicans were like ah fuck football and basketball they would relish at the lower ratings that those sports were having like that that happened have they rebounded the ratings on these sports um i don't are we talking about the total like uh the? Are we talking about the whole NFL is dying or NBA is dying?

Sure, but it wasn't just those. I feel like the NFL and the NBA got all the media around how they're dying because their ratings were lower and people would just fucking celebrate. Hey, you like Black Lives Matter? Now you can suck dicks. That was so weird for the NFL thing. NBA too. Hockey's ratings tanked also. I think COVID was a weird year

and anybody that was litmus testing it. But as far as I just Googled it, just to make sure. But yeah, the NFL ratings were up like 17% year over year in the last two years for football. And that was during like, now albeit, please keep in mind, NFL canceled their season or postponed it and then did a shortened season. I think baseball did the same thing.

The NFL didn't change shit at all and just were like, eh. So there weren't a lot of competing things out there. But like the idea of live sports dropping viewership, totally a thing, especially among baseball and like more traditional sports. And a lot of it comes down to having archaic or like very traditional rules that don't necessarily make the sport more interesting for baseball for myself specifically it's like the inability to adopt robot judges that can instantly tell when the ball's a ball or a strike and just move us the fuck along and at bat shouldn't take five minutes like it just should never and the fact that they changed the um intentional walk rule yeah they do but the intentional walk rule. Yeah, they do, but the intentional walk rule, they didn't change until like 2017.

Used to have to physically throw four balls to send somebody to the base. How dumb was that? I liked that because occasionally, he'd throw one of those a little too close and dude would step across the plate and knock the shit out of it and that was worth it.

Did that happen now and then? Maybe once. All the time. They'd get lazy with the I swear, pull up on YouTube, there's a montage of them. I swear. They just clobber it. It happened a bunch of times. So they got rid of that rule, you can't do that anymore?

You can just say, intentionally walk, and the person just goes to first base. You don't have to physically. That seems unfair. Shut up. It's not. It's just boring. I don't want to watch a guy. Roll it in underhand if you wanted to intentionally walk him. If you're against boring shit, don't watch baseball.

I mean, I also agree with that. I think that's horrible. The only reason it made it in under the ground floor as America's pastime is because we hadn't found the good ones yet. Yeah, that is also true. as America's pastime is because we hadn't found the good ones yet. Yeah, that is also true. But they changed during the shortened season. They changed extra innings, and I may be super far off, but they changed something where during extra innings,

a runner would just start on second base. And I was like, this should just be baseball. Like, baseball should just always have a runner in scoring position the whole fucking time. This is so much better. With extra innings, there's a player that starts on second? As was the games that I was watching in COVID. I don't know if it was the shorter 60-game season or whatever,

but they had people start in scoring position for the extra innings. So in hockey, for people who don't watch at all, it's normally played 5-on-5. And then it used to be they'd go into overtime, they'd play 5-on-5 again, and then the game would just end in a tie, like most of the time. Hockey had a ton of ties and players don't tend to like it.

So then they said, you know what, with overtime we'll do 4-on-4. It's a little more wide open, there's space on the ice. It's more likely to end in kind of a game. Wait, is it three on three? It's not four on three. All right. Thank you.

So it's three on three, wide open, players skating, space, whatever. Like shit happens. Oftentimes it's ended. If it's not, there's a shootout, right? So there are no more ties in hockey. There's a shootout. And someone always wins. And some people are like, shootout? That's a shootout and someone always wins and some people are like shootout that's not really hockey anymore ah fuck you no one's sitting shootouts are so much

cooler in hockey than any other sport yeah everyone is riveted during the shootouts and fights have the attention more than any other time in the entire game right it was definitely a good idea it's like it's a it was way better because ties suck and they're boring and three on three overtime is like the most exciting thing ever because there's only three guys on each side so every five seconds it's a guarantee there's going to be a two-on-one or a breakaway or something like that yeah and like all the hockey purists are like oh shootouts are the worst and it's like yeah i get it i played goalie i have i hate shootouts also but do you want to go back to ties no fuck that ties sucked and i loved the idea i love the idea of overtime should be not a continuation of what you just did for 90 to

three hours uh right it should be a an. So in soccer, they used to have golden goal, and it was just fuck it, whoever scores next wins. And then they changed it to two 15-minute periods. That's exhausting. And then it goes until... No, no, I know you would think that normally.

But for a game like that, awful. But for football, or for hockey, hockey, it's not like the ball's there and you just kick it or you just slap it somewhere. You have a whole approach. There's trickery involved. It is, as a visual, as a spectator, so much better to watch people do the end of hockey.

Think of the dekes and the hands they have. If you haven't ever tried to do something like that, you really underestimate how hard it is for your hands to move that dexterously while you're doing eye tricks to convince the goalie you're going to go in a direction you're going to not. And you're on ice skates the whole time. And you're on ice skates, and there's a lot of people. I mean, think about the best Olympic thing ever was TJ Oshie in Sochi for the Olympics, where there was no rule yet in Olympic hockey for overtime shootouts.

And so they're like, we can just have the same guy over and over. Oh, well, TJ Oshie is the best shootout guy in the world because every practice. Wait, really? Yeah. All he would do is like all these dipsy doodles and dang. This was before the shootout became a part of the end of NHL games. And so so like, it was just a fun thing to do,

like working on dangles on a goal. They just said, Hey, can you go put the works on the keeper? That's what he did. And so like he, he was on spitting chiclets this past week, my favorite hockey podcast.

And he was talking about it, you know, cause everybody interviewed, they asked him about it and he's like, yeah, no, uh, I didn't even know I was going to keep going until the coach just kept

saying and you know oh she you're up again you're up again and then you know after i went like the sixth time it became clear i was going to do all of them and he won it he won it against i think it was what rush up oh that's great pretty cool i just yeah dude. Dude. Oh, I had this argument at work once. My position was that hockey players are the best athletes on the planet. That is a weird position. A lot of people would say basketball because physically they're tall. That is also. I would not say.

Okay. Well, let's pause there anyway. So between the two basketball players are flying through the air. They're very strong. They're dexterous. It's incredible, right? But I'm telling you, if you took a random hockey player, Rod Brindamore, and asked him to play basketball,

it would kind of look like basketball. He'd be a pretty good basketball player, better than most people. If you took Kevin Durant, put him on skates, and gave him a hockey stick. His little bambi legs. He would not even look athletic. Kevin Durant is one of the best NBA players. That's such a red herring I've ever heard.

It's like saying if I took a bass player and sat him at a piano, let's see what he could do. I'm telling you, the entry, just the basic competing in hockey. No. By that rationale, swimming is the greatest of sports because you take half the NBA, throw them in that pool, bank coming out.

Jesus Christ. I think, I just think that, like, you're conflating. I have proven my point and you are speechless. No, I'm not. No, I think Tucker's got an argument. Oh, hey, hold on.

It's going to come out here. Give me a second. You're conflating the idea of being athletic with the mastery of a skill. All right. Skating is a skill that is tied to athleticism, but you can be incredibly athletic and never skate. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's very true.

I'm just right. It really depends on how you qualify. It's fine. You're right. We could run the test. The basketball players would be terrible. You're right. If you put everybody if we had NBA on ice, it would be awful. Nobody would enjoy that.

If you had the NHL on ice, it would kind of look like basketball. 100% chance. I get what you're saying, Woody. The NBA players, they can't skate. If you're saying woody like the the nba player they can't skate like if you took if you took the new york rangers i can't and the fucking new york knicks and you're like all right we're having an exhibition game we're playing basketball against each other the new york rangers are going to get stomped by the knicks but they're going to get some points on the board then then they have the next exhibition where they're like Rangers versus Knicks in hockey.

Not only will the Knicks not score, a lot of them are going to get seriously hurt. They won't know how to put their uniforms on. They're too long for it. They're going to have trouble from the get-go. They're going to have their laces too loose. Can we say the same about things like horse dancing and lacrosse? You know, things that aren't real sports. Can we say the same about things like horse dancing and lacrosse?

You know, things that aren't real sports. Yeah, actually, by my rationale, horse dancing has a pretty tough. I swear to God. Horse dancing is weird. If I was like a hundred millionaire, I would become a horse dancer. I would be the best at it. I'd have the most expensive horse. I'd be paying artists to write songs. You have them Clydes dale's clopping away

i like i would disrupt the horse dancing industry right like number one i'd be the only 200 pound horse dancer number two i'd be the only guy doing it to like nwa's like compton or something like that dude that's so funny to like go into horse dancing. You know those movies where some guy goes into a sport and all the old boys club is like, you do that in horse dancing. Like, we got to get this woodwork. I'm a puppy girl. Well, first thing is he played in a Gata De Vita and took up half an hour. The man rides a llama.

Outside, inside. The first man to win by a limited airtime. he's not even riding the same horse as we are i don't understand you got like those finger light gloves like they do at raves yeah that's a ridiculous sport lacrosse is definitely a real sport, though, Kyle. I've never played. Lacrosse is a real sport, but it's only real to people in the tri-state northeast area, the private school. No public schools are like, we love lacrosse. It is a private school sport for sure. I didn't realize it was unique to where we grew up. Yeah, North Carolina.

I didn't know what it was unique to where we grew up. Yeah, North Carolina. I mean, East Coast for sure. I didn't know what it was until I was a man grown. What lacrosse was? Yeah, it's definitely not a Southern sport. I didn't think it was real. I thought it was a made-up sci-fi sport the first time I saw the movie. Well, the South didn't believe in Native Americans, so of course they didn't co-opt the sport.

They stole lacrosse to say, this sucks. I don't like this one here, Teddy Lee. The cross was like... I never really thought about it. We were talking about how ridiculous it was to take the Cherokee Indians and the Seminole Indians who were like Cherokee or Georgia, Seminole is Florida, and make them walk to the fucking plains

and try to live out there. Yeah, Indians are Indians, right? Y'all know how to live out there. Like, yeah, Indians are Indians, right? Y'all know how to live out here and do this shit, huh? Like, those people were like, the Cherokees had been hanging out with white people for so long, they were barely Indians anymore. And the Seminole lived in the fucking swamp in Florida. And they sent them to the plains with those scary-ass Indians that raped and pillaged out there. Because they're like, no, but you're all on the same team, right? Yeah.

Oh, you've been at war with one another forever, you say. Like, well, you're all in the same car that way. You ate his daughter. Well, y'all are neighbors now. Well, that's going to make for an uncomfortable wagon ride. Try to work that whole thing out. You've got a daughter, don't you? Maybe.

He looks hungry. Yeah. And like carve out the worst places in oklahoma you're like here you go like 80 percent of oklahoma is is protected uh reserve land and i swear nobody talks about this have you guys it's like i've never been to Oklahoma. Texas, not Oklahoma. Where in the... Like federal land? Yeah, so I was in that area.

I don't know if it was Oklahoma. I think it was, though. Anyway, near Buffalo Mountain. And there were all these Indian reserves and stuff. And it's like, these areas were broke. And it seemed like there was no opportunity to improve. Oh,

they're incredibly impoverished and they're in this system that they can't get out of. And, uh, they're genetically predisposed to all these issues that, that, that we've taken advantage, advantage of like they,

from alcohol to the high cholesterol foods. And we, and we put them on those diets, you know, we put them on that barren land where they couldn't, we couldn't either hunt nor grow crops. And so we fed them like government cheese. And, and and and there's this dish they eat where they take vodka no and fried bread i can't tell if this is woke kyle or sarcastic kyle maybe we'll learn very like right like pretty right they they they one of the dishes that's

like become like a traditional native american dish despite the fact that's become a traditional Native American dish, despite the fact that they used to fucking eat nothing but meat. It's got to be deep fried butter or something. It's deep fried bread. It's deep fried bread. They eat donuts for dinner, lunch, and supper. It's basically deep fried bread. You're not getting a lot of nutrition with that.

No, no. You're getting fat, though. Unless you're all too low, they got a solution. So they're impoverished, and there's no public works, of course, because they're like, yeah, you can have your own thing. Good fucking luck in the modern world. Oh, you like infrastructure, do you? Whoops.

It's not great. And the worst part, if we had agreed to the first contracts we signed with them, they'd still be there on land that is, has like minerals, um, oil resources, or it's just an, a good place to be on a lake somewhere or something like that.

You know, real estate, uh, a gold mine lake. But, but, but every time we noticed that we're like, holy shit,

we got those savages sitting on a literal gold mine, Bob. We were just went in there. It was like, yo, have you heard of Missouri? Have you heard of Missouri? You're heading north.

Let's go. And just trucked him the fuck out of there. And just took it back. Pretty awful. That's neither woke me nor sarcastic. That's his story. That's just the way that it works. That's just a group of people getting what they deserve. They say there's no karma. They say there's no karma. Front they deserve. They say there's no karma.

They say there's no karma. Frontier justice. They say there's no karma. Look at the Native American. This is what Tucker was saying pre-show. Not what I was saying. You always say this. It is verbatim.

I didn't know any of this before that. I thought they were a good race of people. We were riveted as Tucker told us his anti-savage American stories. I felt like I was a native American. He says savage American pre-show. He kept saying, I'm not racist. My sister's a savage American. How much native American do you need in you before you can go live on a reservation?

You wouldn't want to, but are there rules? Or a college. Some guy named Tim O'Malley, he can't go, obviously. I don't know the answer to that question. And here's my question. If I'm like an Arapaho, if I'm like part 16 Arapaho or whatever, can I go and hang out with the Comanches? Can I go over there? Actually, the Comanches don't have any reservations because they never signed anything.

They were like, fuck you, we don't believe you. So there are enough Comanche reservations. Is that better or worse? It's worse! It's way worse! They definitely got beat in the wars and battles they were in. Here's how I know it was worse. Who's your favorite command chief?

Chief Walking Bear, probably. Tucker liked that one. He had to go. Chief Killing Field. That I've been on. Yeah, definitely didn't go well. Just can't feel sorry for them but you never think about that

how they're just like a couple of spaces they set aside and then just all the different tribes that had been warring forever and taking land and re-seizing it and losing it and taking it like nope you all live in oklahoma now good luck like a reality. Oh, imagine. I would have been a real sad reality show, though. It'd be kind of like Roots, the reality show in retrospect. It's a very morbid reality show. I don't know if I said this on the show the other day. Maybe it was a private conversation, but I was like,

the American historians who were there to write shit down called it the Trail of Tears. Imagine what the Indians called it. Yeah. Probably something even meaner than that. The ones who survived

being marched around in snow and shit. Yeah, that's what it is, right? A lot of them froze to death. Starving and like there's no medical care or anything you know they're just basically like a death march to a shitty proceeds dude if you were if you were if you were rich as hell in that time period what kind of medical service were you getting right like the wealthiest

guy on earth had a doctor who didn't believe in washing his hands i think it depended on what had happened to you um you know you know i i any it seems to me that anything that involves like like open wounds could so easily be a death sentence back then for sure because they were just so filthy because i i don't know if you were what i forget where i hear things but i was there was this thing about the guy who came up with the idea of washing people's no it was a guest we talked about the washing of the hands right and like yeah they put the guy who came up with the idea to wash our hands before surgery in an asylum and went back to not washing their hands yeah yeah someone told us that a while dude i don't know somehow this has me we're talking about medical

services covid's a big deal right now have you seen the covid numbers and how outrageous they are there's like 40 000 a day in los angeles county which is crazy to me because if um if you just don't look then it's like it's not happening it's i kind of believe you like it's it's well i don't because just like my friends i mean like if you live in if you live in rural america then honestly if you kind of just kind of if you just never turn on the tv it might not actually happen but if you live in a city i went i went to a place the other day and they were like yeah turn left it's the pool and over here is the blah blah blah

and we're doing breakfast in the morning we gave up on that mask thing a long time ago like they didn't care look at the numbers do you remember if you look like a year ago during lockdown or whatever that is a year

and a half that is nothing compared to where we are now never the big like increase we had that possibly caused trump to lose the election fucking child's play as as as as things, as tends to happen, you make judgments based off of the info you have available. And all signs point to whatever we're happening, whatever's happening right now is not as severe or long-lasting as what was prior to. Yeah, the Omicron variant. I'm sorry I cut you off, but I want to say this. It is possible that it's a good thing now it's it's really not icus are filled up duke university icu filled up a hundred percent of the people there are unvaccinated just yeah a little fact my mom works with the duke university for their icu

okay um so anyway uh but by and large this is not as severe. The ideal version of COVID is asymptomatic and very, very contagious, right? It just forms this inoculation that causes no harm and heals everyone. Omicron is not quite that, right? ICUs are filling up. Hospitals are having trouble. It's not that, but it's that adjacent. It's a little less severe and it's very contagious. And all these people who weren't getting vaccinated,

if they stay out of the ICU, get inoculated. This is like when they were burning trash and making stars and they didn't know enough about stars to dispute it. That's how I feel about all of that. I feel like you made stars out of trash just now but i i cannot make stars i love that as a saying i feel like you just made stars out of trash like but he said i bought my star these are the coordinates i'm i'm not 100 sure that's right that's where my gut is taking me

I stand by everything I said I agree that people I will do no research it doesn't exist anymore I will wear the mask if you tell me to I will do no research I'm not changing my lifestyle in that

I think it is a pre-gone conclusion that almost if not every single person, will get COVID. And if the current dominant strain is one that I know, like every friend that did not, I have yet, as far as I know,

to have gotten COVID. I'm triple vax, or triple whatever, fax booster, whatever the fuck it is. Which one did you get? Pfizer, all of them. Never had any issues, no side effects effects was felt great the whole time um throughout all that I I have not done anything crazier than just wear masks in Los Angeles where required to like I've been to EDC which is a global international music festival in Vegas I've been i've been covered in the sweat of

strangers throughout the entire summer festival plane this new year's i spent uh the entirety of my new year's day uh for nine hours in a parking lot with 30 000 people so like and i feel like it's important that people say what you just said, because I'm so sick and tired of someone being like, so-and-so was vaccinated. Guess what? He's got COVID. And I want to be like, is he dead? Is he dying? Or is he at home with some soup?

I mean, it's not like a question of getting vaccinated for the flu doesn't mean you never get the flu. I'm just interested in does it disrupt my life in a way that is actually inconvenient for myself and the people around me? If you're going to ETC, it doesn't seem like it. Have you guys seen that newspaper headline from when it's after the polio vaccine

has been out for a while? And they're like, polio vaccine miracle, 80 to 90% effective. World rejoices. The problem is the people that we're dealing with now they they're like it's not like everything's been 99.9.9 percent on every goddamn commercial for so fucking long that if you can't narrow it down to that that it's a pandemic all of a sudden and and now i've got to wear this fucking silly mask everywhere the mask doesn't bother me in this i don't like maybe it's because it makes my glasses fall your glasses

makes my big glasses fall go up oh no like i i mean they have never removed the mask mandate in los angeles and we have a vaccine mandate where you cannot eat or go into a public environment without a vaccination or a 24 hour rapid test. So for me, all of this, like, yes, I get that it is numerically awful, but we're not changing a thing and things aren't inconveniencing me because that's kind of been the way it is. However, if you look at me in the eyes and you're like, hey, man, you don't get to make the adult decision to go to the bar when you're like, hey man, you don't get to make the adult decision

to go to the bar when you're vaxxed and boosted. Like I understand the risk I'm going to take here. It's just, I feel like a lot of people are catching up to the, like the right here where it's just, if you want to go and do whatever you want to do, that's fine. You just got to be up to date with everything a lot of the rest of the u.s is catching up to us here where that was just kind of like the normal

for me so nothing's really changing i just don't want any more restrictions i'm good with your insinuation that glass is fogging up not a big deal what shut the What kind of vision do you have? I have the same issue. Alright, but like if you have How bad is your vision? Did the surgeons tell you? How bad is your vision?

Minus two. Oh. Dude, you have the kind of vision where you could leave the house, get in your car, get two blocks down the road and go, I forgot my glasses. Dude, if I get out of the shower and then we're contacts you i can't put my well i i face back and forth i go back these contacts i think are extra difficult to wear like you need a break right they're well i don't have the hard ones like i have soft contacts but like

they for some reason they won't give me more contacts unless i get a an appointment and get my eyes rechecked every time and so i try and save no no i i've got a year's worth of contacts but i've been wearing these for like and you make them last three years getting silly i i do i do something like you're like why my eyes itch't understand. By the time I get to my last pair. You're a Jesus Vogel. You can buy them. This has been repeated my entire adult life. By the time I get to my last pair and I have them in, like I'm waking up three months into my one month pair,

like, oh, my eyes. Oh, they're stinging so much. And then it's like, I go get my eye exam. And every time right after, I'm like, that was so quick. Why don't you just do it? Every time. When you put your contacts in, do you use your fingers? Yeah. Then you don't have thick contacts.

That's what I'm saying. I don't have the hard contacts. Dirty's contacts are so thick that he has this pen. I don't know. It looks like my vape pen. Have you seen Clockwork Orange? It goes, and sucks the contact up and then he has to like stick it into

his goddamn eye they literally are thick enough to like like examine things with like you could use it as a magnifying glass or something his eyes are beyond mine you know what he told me the other day I had a very frank conversation with him the other day he was like you know I used to think

I was an ugly guy. I went through high school thinking I was ugly. And then one day I got contacts and I was like, God damn, I'm handsome. He was like, but it's true because I met him. He is a handsome guy. But at night he'll put his glasses on and he looks like bubbles. His eyes are magnified by fourfold, and when he looks at you, it's so off-putting.

It's like, don't look at me with those. Don't do it. You're going to put a hex on me. Dude, his glasses are horrible. His glasses are terrible. He's got Coke bottles. Dude, genuinely, bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. And Bubbles' eyes might be a bit better than his can

bubbles see through his glasses no he's blind he gives them they give him headaches yeah he like i thought that might be the key he was miserable filming most of that show just headache after headache can you imagine that you do a go-kart you do a nine season run show and when like the build-up to it you're like you know what be funny. You hold the drink the whole time. You're always wearing a silly bowling shirt. And I wear glasses that give me migraines. Then it's like, are you sure I can't hold the drink? Jesus fuck Ricky.

I didn't think this. That's such a great show. As long as when the original run came out with a new one, you just got to stop watching because the new stuff is terror season 10 one that just happened oh if there's a new season i haven't one that they've released over this right now is christmas did you watch it no i haven't doing it that's why i was like yeah they just now did it it's crappy because like if you go back and you look at the old trailer park boys the new like well the very old ones are tremendous.

The ones that happened after they got back from that first break with Netflix. It's obvious that the character that plays Bubbles was a way bigger part of the writing. And he like forced Bubbles into being a main character that was like having everything at the park revolve around him instead of what it should be, which it's clear that julian is the main character and ricky is the main character is the other one you know it's and bubbles is like a side yeah he's a side he's like timmy timmy like exactly exactly that um although bubbles has some of the better lines you know like is he the one who uh who coined the phrase mustard tiger? I think so. We were playing Tarkov last night, and Larry called me a mustard tiger, and I laughed so fucking hard.

Because I hadn't heard that so long. Shit like that is really, really funny. There's a lot of good gags. Who's the actor? Go ahead, please. I thought there was a break. The actor, he's dead now. He sort of ran the campsite. Jim Leahy.

Mr. Leahy. Yeah, thank you. Have you seen the YouTube video where he talks about his concrete passion? Yeah, I watched him do it. Yeah. Yeah. I really like that man who played the character. I'm glad he got off the alcohol and found a passion.

After the documentary, a lot of people could have gone astray. Whenever I show Trailer Park Boys to someone for the first time, I tell them it's a documentary, and we watch until they figure out it's not, and then I give them the whole spiel. I've had some dates that never figured it out. They're like, wow, this is so sad.

That's a red flag that's what she's like wow he lives in the car it's awful that's awful oh that poor thing why don't they get him another shirt the camera goes right there i was telling you something you're looking for in a date if you can't figure that one out then you're gonna have a hard time like in the bathroom like handling yourself like like I can't do everything for you. Okay. Figure it out. It's one of my favorite all-time shows.

He plays a drunk person better than anyone in the world. Mr. Leahy? Yeah. When he's stumbling, everybody knows the clip if they know Trailer Park Boys, but when he's stumbling down the steps and dragging across the trailer as he comes down, I watched him do 20 takes of that and it was everything from him like being ah you don't look

drunk enough to like just falling down the fucking steps and breaking the glass and crawling on the ground like he was a real really good actor do you remember he still has the sticker on the back of his pants does he you know he got him today did you hear him did you hear him mention the pants right yeah on his back left pants he's got the whole like 34 34 34 he wants you to know like jerry seinfeld yeah the long sticky it's like green or whatever He's got the whole 34, 34, 34. He wants you to know. Like Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, the long sticky. It's like green or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. The 36s. He colors in the floor. Let's take bets on where he got his pants from. I say American Eagle. No. I'm going to say Nordstrom's Rack. I am going to say Hollister.

Why do you both choose middle-aged white people? Because he's a middle-aged white guy. And he wears Hollister and American Eagle. So I think that is a safe bet. Really upsetting that I'm now privy to this info. You don't wear Hollister stuff and American Eagle stuff.

Now that I think about it, like imagining him with like khakis and like thong sandals, like some flip flops. Really, it's doing a lot for me. It meshes. I mean, you've met him before. You remember the short, right? Yeah. Yeah. But like he just dressed like.

Yeah, this is all coming into play i was gonna say he dressed like i would have dressed if i were 10 15 years older i think he's 15 years i think he's 20 years older than me yeah he's uh he's like 48 yeah i'm 28 yeah so 20 years older yeah that's good Yeah, that's good math. Yeah, that's good math. That was easy. We got to help him out. All the zeros right there. We got to help him out with his pants sticker situation. We got to let him know. Do we help him? Yeah, of course we help.

I mean, of course we help him, but how do we help him? Do we just go, hey, there's a sticker on your pants. Here, we have some fun with it. We can see if he'll do a spin. Hey, Woody, you got some cool pants. can you show us off those pants real quick what what if you pretend like you think it's a stain and and you won't take no for an answer even when he shows you the sticker no no it's under that it's underneath that it's underneath it. I don't know if I have the... No, you were right. It was a sticker. After he's examining it in front of the camera and stuff,

you're like, oh, yeah, it was a sticker, huh? It can't be me or Kyle. I know we're fucking with them. Hey, it looks like you sat down on something. It looks like you sat down on something when you got up. Yeah, from the chair on your left leg. Yeah, turn around. That's a good one. Straight-faced. Good to tell him

he's got something on his face. No, if you full-screen him before he actively does the turnaround, he knows. Yeah, you can't do that, Zach. When he stands up and he does like this, and he's like, that's when you full-screen him right here. Then he'll know that our epic

prank is happening. Then we're epically goofing him. Dude, this is like Mad Lad's shit. Ah, impractical jokers. What I made my friend. I don't want to be mean about it. No, we're not being mean about it. No, but I mean, we could take it to a mean place if you want.

It's super fucking weird. We could take it to a mean place if you want. I mean, if we got a pressure. You're just laughing. We're like, ha ha, you idiot. You fucking nincompoop. Look at this fucking dumbass with his pants sticker on. I've learned my lesson after the tent flap incident.

I won't prank. I'll never prank Woody that hard again. Yeah, yeah yeah he almost beat us both up yeah me and she is that's great yeah but now you're strong enough that you can make a brain fly forever uh we we pretended like we had disrespected a piece of his camping equipment that he was like weirdly attached to and when he got back from the creek like and he saw that we had disrespected his piece of equipment, he threatened to kick our asses and started screaming. But our cameraman was recording him from inside of a pop-up tent that has that mosquito thing.

So he couldn't see the cameraman. And then we told him it was all a bit. And he was like, oh, well then. Because we weren't shitting on his thing. We had brought in a duplicate and made it look like we had fucked his shit up and it went it was like you were pranking to like oh oh no yeah yeah it got real awkward because like i was like man he's he's ready to fight he's ready to beat my ass i don't know jujjitsu, and we're in the woods, so he could break my leg and leave us here.

I was like, can me and Shiz take him? I think so. And then when he's tied up around the tree, we take his real rain felt or whatever the fuck. That's when we'd start tearing it apart slow. Just tied up. No! No!

I didn't want to do this, you of a bitch you're making me do this i don't just like gaslighting him into that he deserves what does patrick do during the whole thing he was our cameraman does he does he just like document or does he get involved turns it on himself he's like i'm so sorry i didn't know to get this out of hand oh he was on board he was a fan of the show he was he was down for anything i i felt i felt kind of bad in retrospect but like the last you know that the survival trip ended and i think patrick thought that he was gonna like hang out at my house until it was time for him to go to the airport but i had just spent like five days like in the woods with him and everybody else and i wanted to be alone with my girlfriend

and so i so i sent him to holiday inn and gave him my credit card and he's just sitting in the holiday and for how many days like two days and he was from the uk so like he's in he's in the u.s visiting the u.s but like he stayed in a holiday inn in commerce georgia i'm sorry but i had spent five fucking days in the woods and like it's not like hanging out at my house in karnesville was gonna be like something like he wasn't gonna be like one of those japanese tourists fucking snapping pics of the cows or anything i was like burger kings that way subways across the road and i fucking headed home to my girlfriend well goodbye yeah and you know i don't blame you at all five days five days in the woods i would want to just be alone i wanted to see my girlfriend and i wanted like another shower

even after the first shower we were so filthy we've been bathing in that creek water that is gross you're you're probably clean or not bathing at all i had soap i had, but the rest of them, no idea. Was it enough soap to kill all the shit in the water before you're rubbing it all over your head? Well, see, I went down... Woody might dispute me here, but I went way down into the creek where the water was running fast and clear,

and I would do sort of like a praying stance on my knees and throwing it over myself because the water seemed fast and clear and he got in a pool of water and i was like that's a pool of water because it's where the beavers have dug it out they live there and they shit there that is the reason the water he was standing waist deep in like this cloudy water and i'm like the reason it's so cloudy is all of the beaver shit it sinks to the bottom and then you stomp around and you're waiting in sewage and so like i had i had him bathing in sewage and i had jizz was afraid of the snakes so he refused to get in the fucking uh

creek and then patrick and i are over there like these guys need to figure something out and the whole while we're starving that people always ask if we'll do another survival trip and the answer is absolutely we will if someone pays us a reasonable amount of money to do so i would do it but everybody has different ideas of what reasonable amounts of money are and if you want a week of my fucking misery it's gonna cost a little bit just a little bit like we're not not not tens and tens of thousands of dollars but but there's a couple tens maybe tens and tens maybe just tens ten but i mean we got paid quite well the last time we went but but like i i it it was awful i did not enjoy that a bit it didn't look like fun fun. You didn't have to do one. I don't think you could be

a real RSK member until you've lived in the woods with Woody for a week. I agree. That's the right of passage. I gotta go to his house and tell him I need to go camping. Get my full letters. Get your letters.

My letterman jacket. Get your cut. I wouldn't want to do... What if we were so douchey we wore cuts? Like biker gangs do? You know, that's what they call that leather vest? I mean, I think now that you're saying it, it sounds cool.

You know, I'm going to be honest. I only said it was douchey because I was afraid that you wouldn't think it was cool. I also think it's cool, and I have one. Would you like to see it? I would love to see it. I prefer to model it without a shirt underneath. Could we wait till like after the show

and we could like... Yes. Do it right now. We could just face app each other as we oft do. In the bathroom. FaceTime with neither of our iPhones. My Samsung and your fucking bootleg Korean bullshit with our white trash Motorola. Tucker, where do you stand on the cell phone nonsense? Like, I honestly don't give a fuck.

I'm just cheap. Yeah, I don't care. I am a big fan of Android phones until three years ago when i was hosting a show with vince staples and he asked me for my number and i gave it to him and he was like oh yeah let's play some war zone together and i was like cool cool cool and he sent me a text message he said oh hell nah never mind talk to me when you get blue text and so i bought an iphone the next day what the fuck wait who is that vince staples he's i don't know who that is pretty uh yeah he's a pretty pretty big rap artist um but i mean but like you didn't get to play with with this with

this rap no i never played with him and but like that was like that was the straw i did not get it to play video games with vince staples but it was the straw that broke the camel's back because in the music industry, it really is a do you have blue text or not. It is easier to email, text, FaceTime, like get in contact with people who have that connectivity. And it sucks because I do like Android and I grew up through Android

and I like everything about it. Android is PC. You know what I do like Android and I grew up through Android and I like everything about it. Android is PC. You know what I like about Android? My phone does everything that an iPhone does for a tenth the price. Like this, I just broke my phone like a month ago and I got this new phone. And I think this was $130 fucking dollars. What is that, a OnePlus? It's a Motorola Power G.

It's the longest battery life on the market. It's three years of power. Yeah market I just didn't know you were broke I literally did longest battery life that's my main issue and I bought that one and I didn't care if it was $900 or $130

but this one was $130 bigger the battery life the better it gets me so mad to see take me back to when we had swappable batteries and i just carry a full battery pack in my backpack and like right in the middle of like high school all right you want me to fast load into the motorola chocolate or whatever the fuck tactical reload to get that bitch back i'm sure there's i'm sure there's a phone somewhere that still does that no yeah i like the uh i kind of like that folding phone um no you don't the folding like the giant screen

one i like that it folds no it seems really small no there's two there's one the galaxy fold that folds open horizontally from like a narrow thing to a book and then there's one that folds from a normal cell phone like the it's the Motorola Razr that one is a normal cell phone that folds into a little like compact mirror that you would like powder mirror is what it always looks like it's like a little clamshell that opens up into a regular phone it's the correct way I don't want my shit to get bigger I I want it to get smaller. Yeah, I want it to get smaller. I like that also because my phones have been scratched

before by my car keys. And I don't know, just throwing shit in my pocket, but that wouldn't happen if it was closed like a clamshell. I think it's better to drop that too. You probably let a lot of... That screen, I guess it... I don't understand that material very well but it's like hard and like does the same like um input stuff that well it's not gonna

scratch your it's not you're like you're closed up it's not scratching your screen and i saw that robot that like folded it and opened it 10 million goddamn times and it still worked or whatever so you got a stain on your pants back left hamstring is this true? 100% are you willing to take that bet? yes I'm gonna bet

that there's no stain on my pants okay there's nothing on your back left hamstring yeah okay yeah I mean I don't like why would I lie about that there's a sticker these are brand new pants

that was on my back left hamstring it is not a stain we take those small victories you know I told you I bought new pants that fit It is not a stain. I had a sticker. Hey, we take those small victories, you know? I told you I bought new pants that fit. It was worth it. He has the tags on them. 75% of the time you've been gone have been devoted to that sticker.

How do we break it to him? How do we let him know? I noticed it immediately when you were walking away. Oh, yeah. I saw a glint, and I was like, there's something on there. Right before the show there was a big orange tag on the back pocket that i removed but yeah these are my new pants they fit i i posted a picture of me because i've been working out on twitter and uh everyone roasted me because my

pants were too big the pants were big because he got small. Yeah, I lost some weight. Now my pants don't. You should have done the side watch where you put your thumb in the waistband and pull it away from you and lean back. Oh, yeah, where you do that thing. I pulled them down sexy to show. You got your front cleavage. Whatever they're called.

What brand are the shorts? The pants that I'm wearing? The shorts. Yeah, you're wearing right now. We had a... Carhartt. Fuck! Worker man's. Go for three.

That is a better brand. We guessed Hollister, American Eagle. And I said Nordstrom's Rack, which you could have still purchased them from there. I wasn't kidding. We spent a lot of time on those pants. You were gone for an abnormally amount of time. I saw the Carhartt 100%. When Zach gives like the the minutes later it'll be like pant talk 12 minutes three hours and 30 minutes to four hours and one second you know sticker discussion

well i feel good. The pants are not stained. They're not Hollister. I'm really coming up roses on this. If anything, these are brand new, super clean pants. Buy a brand not for girls or children. Absolutely. You couldn't have... You're a real winner today.

Top of the world. Your pants fit. Everything's coming up i don't remember what that's from everything's coming up everything's coming up everything's coming up i can't believe i didn't remember that was simpsons i love this yeah i've got the uh the ironclad memory in the group. The Simpsons has been around for so long that another show from 20 years, 25 years ago

will reference a Simpsons joke, and then you're like, oh, that's that joke from that 1995 film. It's like, no, that's from a 1989 Simpsons. Do you have a favorite Simpsons quote? Oh, fuck. I'll go first, because mine is when a radioactive radioactive man there's some kind of

i don't remember the the episode like a radio it's it might be mcbain or radioactive man but it's the same voice actor so i get them mixed up a little bit but he's like he's wearing these goggles and the radioactive waste washes over him like a river of it. He goes, the goggles, they do nothing. The goggles, they do nothing. He's getting carried away by toxic waste. He only got a million dollars. I think maybe a scientist just had said, these protective goggles will keep you safe in the event of acid.

And then the acid pours over. The goggles, they do nothing. I have my favorite sentence quote. I want to go next. So here's the deal. I forget what happens, but somehow Homer realizes that someone is going to, I think, stop him from fulfilling all his dreams

and his life isn't going to be satisfactory like he hopes it would. So Homer says, My dreams, they'll go unfulfilled oh no i don't like the sound of that one bit that means i have nothing to hope for marge make it better please can't you make it better and she says homer when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert occasional snuggling and sleeping till noon on weekends no one can destroy them. You did it. I like it. No plow episode. Two cars in every garage,

three eyes on every fish. That's a good episode. My, my favorite one. You know that episode. Jesus. Cause I remember cause it's, you know how you'll like go to an episode and like you see a weird name.

And for some reason, things stick in your head. I remember that name, but, uh, the, my favorite line from the Simpsons, it's not directly Homer,

but it's from Mr. Plow, arguably the best. I was going with Mr. Plow as well. I was thinking Mr. Plow as well, because there's a real heartfelt thing with Marge and Homer in bed. You've broken up. We don't have you anymore, Taylor. But Mr. Plow, if I recall, has a catchy

jingle, which is my favorite. Taylor might be back. Can you test it? I think I am am i back yeah uh a little one two three in my back so your audio is working and your video is like a frame every couple seconds okay uh sorry about that i don't know why uh but basically i think my favorite would be they'll when they shoot so homer starts his own plow company to plow driveways and such to try and make money and he makes a commercial with the family you know grandpa and everybody else and they run it on public access and homer's like doing the whole you know you know i'm mr plow

that's my name my name again is mr plow mr plow and then and then i don't want to forget the Mr. Plow Do it, do it, sing it Do it, do the impression I don't want to forget the actual line that Bart says and like Lisa's asking softball like you welcome and help us and it's busy out won't you and he's like you can always count on Mr. Plow and then Bart goes and you are fully bonded and licensed by the city aren't you Mr. Plow

and he goes shut up boy I love that and you all are fully bonded and licensed by the city aren't you oh it's good there's so many good fucking simpsons episodes i'm gonna re-watch them again all but then you prior to 2005 all of them yeah all of them prior to... Honestly, prior to 9-11 is all the best stuff. Not that 9-11 did anything to their content, just like as a line in time. Yeah, I need to see a recent one. I tend to push back against the idea

that Simpsons isn't good anymore because I generally just think these things stay normal good. They don't keep getting better like people want them to. But with Simpsons, I haven't seen it in so long i have an uninformed opinion yeah it's not good i'm the same i haven't gone back in forever uh i i'm always surprised because i think of hulu or wherever like you can get new episodes really quickly and i'm like really another new one and i'll read the description it's like part gets in some zany stuff at the

zoo and i'm like there's no way this is the first time bart has gotten into zany stuff at the fucking zoo this is got us bart is literally 45 right like he is oh wow they were like they were like making jokes in like one episode all right so i'm just a big loser and everybody's making fun of me down at the plant and marge is like homer you've been to space six times or like just because of all of his history bart simpson's 43 oh and that was written in 2020 he's 45 i i guess that they're they're older than homer at the start it didn't used to be a skit on snl or somewhere like that or maybe like it was on the tracy allman show that's what it was yeah yeah um so if you go back to then then yeah yeah he has to be because what is he like seven eight in the show yeah he's supposed to

be 10 in the show and lisa's eight if you if you like see homer's original driver's license for his age he's supposed to be 36 years old in 1989 oh no or whatever year. And so he was born in like 1951, 52. And so like, like early episodes, they'd be like, remember when we were dating Marge and it's like the sixties, like the late sixties, early seventies. And now it's like, you know, almost as much time has passed as Homer has supposed to have been alive in the first season. And so now if they have like flashback episodes, it's the nineties.

It's wild. to have been alive in the first season and so now if they have like flashback episodes it's the 90s dude the voice actor i don't know how much longer all those guys can do it like i i assume they're just collecting paychecks at this point i guess so yeah i hadn't even considered that their voices should be notably different than the last time i watched the simpsons but you also have such an iconic show that's run for so long that you could probably find almost in... That's how Taylor leaves PKA. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, it's a great show.

It was a great show. Always sunny. I need to jump into the newest season on that. I watched the first two episodes of the newest one. It didn suck me in uh yeah someone's told us the other day that the first two were were kind of bad and then it got better i i'm actually there as well i am i need to watch i feel like i should step up my content that i might enjoy it i i watched probably 20 hours of a guy on a glorified moped ride around the country.

The same trip that I took. It's a YouTube channel called some guy rides. He makes good videos. I like it, but there was actually points where he's like, this road hasn't changed. This is a dirt road and it's 200 miles of this. I don't know why anyone's watching this video right now.

I was like, because that's kind of funny. I tip my hat to it, but you're not wrong, wrong. Now when the music plays, I just fast forward. Yeah, you got to jump to new content. Yeah, I finished. You would like old Simpsons. Did you watch it at the time as it was coming out? Yeah, we used to watch Simpsons when we had tv like

prior to netflix i guess there was a family schedule where simpsons was the background tv show yeah i mean they've been prime taylor staring into my soul with a frozen frame and he gives me one of these you got game on your phone. I'm like, did I do something? This is socially awkward. I'm mad.

I'm all kinds of mad. And I don't know what I'm going to unfreeze. You are unfrozen. You just did like 120 P now. Oh, fuck. I don't know why that would be. Sorry.

Yeah. Hope my audio stays. Yeah. Yeah. So we've gone three hours, 55 minutes with no fitness talk yeah we've been good we've been good well it's time to be bad talk about fitness talk tucker are you are you still running a good bit uh i've yet i've i've reduced running and i i walk and or jog five miles a day now. Damn.

Yeah. And that's for the last year on average. And it's been nice. I think a little bit now with the new COVID stuff, I just am not interested in getting sick for any amount of time. So I've taken a more like, I still have all my weights at home from when we couldn't go to the gym. And now I've only,

I only go to the gym like twice a week now instead of like four times, but a lot more running outside. Have you thought about like loading up a home gym? So you just never have to go to the gym again. I like the idea of going to the gym i also like like the machines and everything it's just easier for me right like i have the loose weights i just don't want to unscrew my loose weights to do like 20 pounds this time oh you have like the adjustable yeah it's just like all right all right this is have

i just have like a very basic uh standard like it's like a screw system for their dumbbell it sounds like it's like uh it's like it's not olympic plates they're like the standard one inch plates and then you have to screw for 15 months yeah and then you screw like if you want to do dumbbell then you then screw both of those into the middle thing so like it can do everything just not fun i ordered one of those this time two or three years ago before the pandemic happened it showed up like after covid had already stopped being a thing a new kind had came out and stopped being a thing again i i was so ripped when those weights came that the box wasn't heavy

it took so goddamn long to shift it to you three years it was absurd that's one of the things that when you guys talk about home gyms i'm like yeah but like i'm going to the gym tonight um so so like i feel like if i ordered a home gym today it would be here in time for like my next house like you're totally right i that shelf i ordered the reason i don't think very highly of rogue took like three months to arrive and it was in stock like that's the level of bullshittery that exists right uh supply i mean delivery is is a huge issue. My kitchen table took four months from order to get here. Was it in stock? Yeah, it was in stock too. It's just supply chain issues. Like you have it in warehouse one, but the problem is warehouse one has 30 years of like

catalytic converters to deliver to Toyota. and so they're you know you're just like later on in the backlog so it's just things that are in stock are taking a little bit longer for me to get so you're right universal i just feel like they're being cheap that just has to be true because there are other people who can ship things in stock by tomorrow but it's like the the size right like i can get a book shipped to me tomorrow today right yeah right now but like a a 400 pound unit of like wood i don't know like i don't know the logistics of that there isn't another company that charges slightly more who can get that shit ship now probably right like you know how you know how airplanes will fly empty planes to keep their takeoff and landing slots yeah i

know like you know why not just fill that with people for a fraction of the cost or with gym equipment there you go kyle we're gonna put belgian airlines full of bow flexes bow flexes aren't that heavy that would work dumbbells are a problem but uh anyway yeah i i kyle's right it would take forever to get that stuff shipped to you uh at this point my gym's pretty well filled out and if i need an extra thing it's probably uh a to have, not a happy to have. Woody, I got your next thing.

Forget this paramotor stuff. Sell it tomorrow. Roger that. Now you're going to become some sort of adventure athlete. You need to start constructing your own obstacle course in the backyard. Ninja warrior style. Colin will love this. Ninja warrior style. You're going to be out there swinging on ropes and like jumping you know how they'll have like the those angled

platforms where you have to like jump off this one across the pit onto the other one and like keep that you're gonna have those things like full ninja warrior and and you do it all shirtless and make videos of it you'll have a huge yeah it's, it's going to be great. To be honest, half of that Ninja Warrior stuff... Half of the Ninja Warrior stuff is hanging from things. It's all upper body. I'm a great hanger on things.

Great hanger. Do you like super monkey bars? Hang with the best of them. I don't know. We call these the son of a monkey bars, and then you just fucking go. Oh, Jesus Christ. I would totally use that. That's funny.

I want to end on that joke. Is that okay? Let's call it. Anything you want to pimp? No. I'll see you guys in like three more months. I don't know. All right.

PKA 577.