Painkiller Already - PKA 579 W/ Wendigoon, Josh Pillault, and Harley: Woodys Missing?, MLK Conspiracy

Episode Date: January 22, 2022

pka 579 with our friend josh and a new friend wendigoon or isaiah thank you guys so much can i stop i think your mic's too blown out fuck is it really it's just because you got it so close to your mouth okay end the recording and i'll fix it pull it away let's let's find the range i think it's like a fist on top of the mic and then this motion if you go back and forth varying speeds, now we're getting somewhere. Sounds clear. Is this okay? Faster. I think you're not close enough. Hold your mouth open.

And just keep going. When you started, you were like, Welcome to PKA! It was like booming and blown out. Okay, well, fuck me. Fucking 40 seconds in, I already ruined it. Do I sound any better now? When we're having a regular conversation like this, it's fine.

But when you were like, I got a little bit of anime, welcome to PKA, it was like booming and blown out. So let's try that. Okay. I'll keep my pants on. I'll calm down. Sorry about that. PKA 579. Thank you so much to Josh. Oh, we're recording again? Oh, okay.

No, we're not restarting. We're going. No, we're already a quarter of a percent way through the show. We're not going to lose this. This is gold. A quarter of a percent. People love this. It's comedy. Woody gets kidnapped for one week, and the wheels fall off the fucking bus.

Yeah, Woody sent us a text in our WhatsApp like two days ago, and he was showing where he was in mexico at this restaurant and literally that he sent us a picture of the menu it was like crickets fried crickets dipped in guacamole there was ant larvae that you and and there were two different ant dishes and he ordered the ants they were out of ants. Move a garbage can, something. There's no way to run out of ants. How are you out of ants? Go outside.

You ran out of ants in a Mexican kitchen in the middle of nowhere? I doubt it. Bro, did he choose to go to Mexico, or did he wind up in Mexico? Okay, all right. He wants to be there. He's riding around. All of the letters that he's written us shakily have confirmed he wants to be there. He's riding around. All of the letters that he's written us shakily have confirmed he wants to be there.

He's being treated well. He's not being molested or anything, but he's also somehow lost his grasp of English. Looks like someone who's not even a native speaker is writing this. Hello, friends. His handwriting always was bad. He's kind of cool, though. Hello, friends. His handwriting always was bad. He just writes you a letter. Buenos dias, amigos. Buenos dias.

I'm sure, friends, I am alive. He's on a pretty interesting adventure. I look forward to the story. Yeah, he always has good stories. And I'm proud of him for trying the bug dishes, like trying the crickets. Oh, yeah. I was very shocked that he tried. No, I had to try it too. The ant larvae, I think the description was like

honeyed ant larvae. And it just reminded me of reading Game of Thrones and there's a part where they're eating honeyed dormouse. And it just reminded me that Mexico is a third world country and they shouldn't be treated like people they shouldn't hold on hold on it's like is it like a bowl of ant larvae like rice that's exactly what it is it's a big bowl of matter so no i'm sure a spoon i i would have to eat it too if i were there but um i'd try it it if you would. He didn't send a photo of the ants.

He sent a photo of the grasshoppers because they were out of ants. They were out. As is often the case. It was basically a tortilla with five crickets in there and then just an amount of guacamole that was clearly there to cover up the taste of cricket. No one puts that much guacamole on a pork taco. Oh, man. I would have probably

just picked out a cricket and tried it. Did he like the cricket? Did you get any feedback yet? He said it wasn't bad. I don't think he'll try again. See, that's the kidnappers talking. What? What? You think it's muy bueno?

I don't think it's Mexico. It's a wonderful place, but the grasshoppers are delicious. I mean, all those other Americans are wrong. I'm not going to lie. Right before I came on here, my mom FaceTimed me, and I was like, yo, I'm about to hop in and do this PKA thing. And the support's been amazing.

I'd like to take a second to say that. Your community has been outrageous in the support support and my mom likes to surf reddit so after all the support she joined the subreddit and whenever she talked to me she was like you're going on pka isn't something shady going on i think i saw something about like what do you got kidnapped or something i went to mexico and i was like mom you you've been on the internet long enough i'm sure somebody was kidding she was like i mom, you've been on the internet long enough. I'm sure somebody was kidding. She was like, I don't know.

I think he's in Mexico. He's shady going on. And I was like, if he is, I highly doubt it. I get on here and everybody's just cashing. Like, yeah, Woody's having a good time in Mexico, but joking about the kidnapping. And I'm like, this propaganda has spread. The fact that it's Mexico is just so funny to me. Like, it's something like he, Woody loves adrenaline.

Adrenaline is Woody's drug and he loves it. And so anytime like we're talking about vacations, we'll talk like, what do you like? Like dream vacations are fun places. I'm like Rome. They'll go to Italy, go to France, go to Europe,

you know, the Netherlands, whatever. He's like, I think it would be fun to start in, in Somalia and go straight down all the way till, you know the netherlands whatever he's like i think it would be fun to start in in uh somalia and go straight down all the way till uh until south south africa and then just make friends as i go and it's like what the what are you high that's a pipe dream if i've ever heard one huh

not a good idea yeah you're a retired millionaire go somewhere nice treat yourself i mean he's gone to places though right like he's been i think i'm pretty sure he's been to rome i'm almost positive he has yeah he has been to europe but on the other hand like i guess he'd never gone and eaten grasshoppers in a and wherever the fuck he is that one play that one video he sent it looked like he was in a jungle and he mentioned like and he mentioned like chartering uh uh like a motorcycle ride which i assumed is one of those back of the motorcycle hanging on to a little guy yeah from a man who spoke almost no english the guy's like wearing like flattened aquafina bottles as sandals yeah like like

it's just like they were fishing it very kyle are you sure there wasn't a mention of a dollar amount or ransom or anything like that in the video? I'm not paying a dime. There was this Venmo URL he kept sending over and over, but I just ignored that. I don't negotiate with terrorists, and I don't answer calls that say spam likely. No. And I don't know how to speak with a URL. Sorry, Woody.

Sorry, Woody. We don't negotiate with terrorists. We let them on the podcast, but we don't negotiate with them. If I got kidnapped and they're like, we're calling your podcast ghost to get ransom for you, I'd be like, God, if you're there, please. Please. Hopefully they dial a nice podcast.

They take mercy. Please, God. Please, God, let's get Joe Rogan somehow. Somehow. I would understand it because if we were reversed, I would also take the, you know, I'm not negotiating with Kyle's terrorist. I don't care how many fingers I get in the mail. I'm too brave for that. I understand, man.

Don't give in, bro. Don't give in bro don't give in that's like what you're like take it's like this is a message to the the terrorist kidnappers i don't care how many testicles fingers ears teeth eyes penises you send me my friend kyle is strong and he'll never give in and he will not give me his tongue on day two cut off what you must meanwhile meanwhile kyle's hiding at his house writing fake letters like man why isn't this working i can't believe taylor won't pay 70 dollars 70 american dollars yeah the notes all written in blood

i would negotiate with terrorists if it was like 70 dollars definitely i don't know man 70 it's kind of like the principle you know what is the minimum what is the lowest amount that you could demand as a kidnapper terrorist robber whatever uh before they would stop taking you seriously? Like if you asked for like $373, would someone immediately be like, oh, hang on. No, no, no, no. We got $375.

You got a couple of ones. Yeah, we'll take quarters. Yeah, all right. Right now, the fuck did you call me? Like, would would that happen like with someone just peel off a couple hundreds they just don't even call the cops already be like all right we're gonna talk about it you know we're gonna get a touch of the mayor like will they still play that game we'll see there's a truck on its way with the money in the back in the history of kidnappers has there ever been a kidnapper who was like give with the money in the back. Don't worry. In the history of kidnappers, has there ever been

a kidnapper who was like, give me the money or I kill the hostages and they showed up with a bag of money and he was like, alright, well here they go. There has to be an example because there's no way that kidnappers would keep doing that if there was no history of it working. I know that specifically those Mexican kidnappers,

they will kidnap people and hold them for ransom. And they'll do the exchange in the end. It's good business to do the exchange in the end. But I'm talking about someone who wasn't attending. Not a professional kidnapper, like a robbery. Like a one-off. That thing in the movies, right? Where they've always got a bank full of hostages.

Has that ever actually played out? What was the one? fbi ended up killing them when they got to the airport but the guys the movie uh dog's day afternoon was made about oh yeah yeah yeah so he let those guys go uh and then he got to the airport he's like all right here you go everyone and then they shot one of them and arrested the other. But he did do the exchange before he got wasted. So close. So close to pulling it off. He was at the airport.

I've never seen Dog Day Afternoon, but I've seen parts of it. Didn't they ask for a couple of ridiculous things? Give me $500,000 and a blue Corvette. You gotta aim high with your ass. The story was with that whole dog day afternoon like the real story of it yeah is i may be misremembering this a little bit but the guy

whose idea it was was a former military and i believe it was his brother who like got injured got his head messed up in the war and the army never paid out for it. So his robbery was more of a middle finger to the feds. Uh, so whenever he like took the money, I think the plan was they were going to take the plane to Mexico and then they were going to scatter. But when they got the movie, didn't more than one, a sex change or something. Wasn't that the thing that was the guy whose idea it was like the lead brother. Uh, it was his, whose idea it was, like the lead brother. It was his, I believe it was a man who was transitioning into a woman that he had previously dated. And the money was for her as well, which is why it was such a specific dollar amount. Yeah, there was a lot going on there.

The negotiator's going to be like... I don't understand either. No. Wait, they went trans as a hiding maneuver? No, no, no, no, no. Again, in the movie, I don't know about this real life thing. I didn't even know it was a true story. They just changed the cops. They're like, we are now looking for a six foot four woman

with a swastika tattoo on her forehead. And there's some big Jim. Big Jim McCloskey. Don't be fooled by the tits. It's the swastika that gives it away. The identifying marks are the same. Oh, who's this guy? We're recording.

We're recording. We're recording, Harley. How are you, my friend? Harley always starts off with... He likes to greet me with one of them. I knew it. We're recording Harley. How are you, my friend? Harley always starts off with... He likes to greet me with one of them. I knew it. We're recording. No racism. No racism. We're keeping to a tasteful amount.

As Taylor was talking about SWAT tickets. In a bad way. In a bad way. Everybody knows Harley. Everybody knows Josh, Isaiah. I was poking around your channel.

First of all, congratulations on a million subs. I just saw you. Thank you so much. That's awesome news. Thank you. So how did you, it looks like you kind of got started following like internet horror,

like creepy pasta stuff and also conspiracy theories. Have you been doing this for a long time? Like were you do like chugging out the videos and like, like for like low views and then it exploded. So actually, uh, I started making videos along the whore conspiracy, whatever route you can call me now, uh, around last Halloween. So it's just been a little over a year before that i was actually um trying to make it as a gun tuber um so i had done i'd done like a few videos about guns and stuff like that a couple of them got taken down by youtube and i was upset and i was like well i still want to do YouTube and I can't talk

about guns. So what else can I talk about? Like, oh yeah, people dying and murders and conspiracies and all that. So yeah, around last Halloween, I made a couple of videos and then it got some traction. I just kept rolling with that. And now a little over a year, here I am. It's been really cool to see. That's awesome.

That's like a rocket success. I've been blessed beyond belief and i appreciate that thank you very much taylor it means a lot what are uh what are your favorite videos to research and watch is it the conspiracy angles or is it the creepy stuff i'm sure there's a good diffusion there oh yeah there there is um it depends on like what the video is specifically like for example some of the stuff with with my main conspiracy theory mainline series, some of it can get a little bogged down because a lot of it is similar, and sometimes your evidence is a 4chan post from 2014.

Yeah, that's how I make a lot of beliefs. I hear a lot of religions are starting that way. But stuff like that is very hit or or miss if I like it or not. Now, like the video that I'm editing right now that should be up in the next couple of days is about the MLK assassination. And that kind of stuff is like my stuff, like reading like the logs and court reports. Love that kind of thing. reading like the logs and court reports, love that kind of thing. Um, I also love reviewing like online horror series,

like ARG stuff. Um, just cause I think it's really cool to put together this giant puzzle and see how everything fits. Um, and, but yeah, like I really,

I always say in my videos that I only talk about stuff I like talking about. And that's been true so far. I'm, I'm very happy that i can make stuff i'm happy about and have this kind of success with what's uh beautiful so what's the deal with mlk was it the cia they when something fucked up happens i always assume cia oh brother uh it was a million and ten percent the CIA. Not even a question. So much so that the King family also believes it was.

And they spent the last three years of James Earl Ray, the alleged shooter. They spent the last three years of his life trying to get him out of jail because the family thought he was innocent. Wow. In 1999, in Shelby County, Tennessee, the King family sued the United States government specifically through an agent. And the specific one that did the suing was Martin Luther King's wife. They sued the government for conspiracy to commit wrongful death and won. So in a civil court court they officially decided the government did kill mlk i never even knew that man yeah yeah that's that is wild and like and like that's that's not even news like no wow yeah i had no idea that's not common knowledge as far as i know

people are like yeah but if you told someone like did you know that mlk was killed by the cia like i feel like a lot of people would be like, oh, it's one of those guys. Yeah, of course. Yeah, they're like, put up the tinfoil hat or whatever. Meanwhile, it was like the King family who did the research and got it and all that, which is like, there's...

I mean, I don't think I have to tell you guys that some information is chosen to be fed, while others is not. Yeah, of course. And stuff that has to do with like a distrust of the state tends to be on the don't show as much who was uh who was the guy who went to prison for shooting him okay was that like mark david james or ray james or ray they always have three fucking or david chapman was john lennon thank you yeah um so so what so the civil court thing decided

that well in civil court did they ever bring up that you know there's a guy sitting in prison for this murder and blah blah well so he died in 1998 and the civil court was in 1999 so it was more so exonerating that sucks was he retroactively exonerated in the nick of time by civil court yes in official court no because devil jeopardy and all that stuff he was already accused of it um but like man i tell you like i went into the mlk video like oh the fbi killed mlk and then i did the research it was like oh my gosh they destroyed that you're like this is way too obvious they didn't even try to cover it they They didn't. Like there was one witness who saw James Earl Ray there and 74 who saw a different man there. And they went with the one guy. They went with the one guy.

Agent. You know, Stephen Brown. So that one guy who saw him was actually in a drunk stupor at the time. And then during an interview with ABC, the journalist held up a picture of James Earl Ray, and the guy goes, who's that? Oh, my God. And the reporter goes, that's James Earl Ray.

And he goes, oh, yeah, I mean, but that's not really the guy who I saw. But, I mean, maybe from the back, it's a little different. The only way to, like, bail yourself out of that is like, oh, man, he's gained a lot of weight. Clearly the stress of being a murderer. His hair fell out and everything. That's totally my bias. If I hear something that's like,

you know something fucked up the FBI or the CIA did? I'm like, you don't even have to explain it. I believe you yeah i used to not be like that but once upon a time if they came out and they were like cia stops hunger in nigeria like poor village i'd be like no no no what's that village got to hide huh maybe nigeria is not even real i've never been if i haven't seen it it's not there australia looking at you not looking at you yeah finland isn't isn't that the conspiracy that finland isn't real i thought it was australia yeah oh i thought it was australia fuck well i mean

it started with come from you got me there no he's right trust me i'm an expert he knows what he's talking just listen to everything kyle says about alligators and crocodiles he knows the finland thing you've heard of that isaiah right yes yeah yeah so it's part of something called the bleifeld uh conspiracy bleifeld is a region, I want to say England, but it may be France. Somewhere central Europe, whatever. It's a small city that not a lot of people lived

in, and it became a joke on European television or whatever that Blyfeld just isn't real. The argument for it was, well, have you ever met anyone from Blyfeld? That's what I thought, So it's not there. So people just kept rolling with that until eventually Finland doesn't exist. It just spread.

There's only a few of them. Yeah, it got bigger. You're really right. I saw this whole breakdown someone did of it that the world demographics charts and stuff are always right within a percentile. So like it could be off by 1% of the population or whatever. And Finland makes up point, I think 6% of the world's population, meaning that Finland could be a statistical error.

Effectively don't exist. Exactly. They effectively do not exist. I've always thought like those kinds of countries are the best ones to live in. Like the really nice countries that fly under the radar. Nobody hates on Norway. Nobody hates on Finland. Like they're not important enough.

Whereas the U S yeah, it's nice to live here, but everybody's always shitting all over us for, for all the horrible things we do to other countries. Needlessly. America be like Godzilla in other countries with their dick in other countries. They're just, what the hell are you talking about what are you doing here but you know the norwegians they're over there like what up we're chilling we're just hanging out

in norway just being norwegian and shit man it's kind of cold but we're posted up you know we're too busy destabilizing south american nations to do that you get over to nor Norway and they don't have mustard or something. Something weird. There's no ketchup. It's like the little details that are completely gone. You're like chocolate chip cookie and they're like, what?

Back to America. Do you mean a baked fish pie? Or Canada. Get me out of here. I like that all of the differences are snack food related And meanwhile like Harley You would show up there and you're like fuck Being average height is terrible

I'm going back to Canada I wouldn't be like tall and fat there I would just be fat Look at this Look at that normal heighted fat man. That's what they would say. That's the biggest Jew I've ever seen. Yeah.

I thought they... I'm colored. That's where I was going too. Ah, the rare Jew. Get the picture with him, kids. I would just be... rare Jew. Get the picture with him, kids. I wouldn't even be Jewish undercover there. I would just be fully colored person.

Yeah. I got my daughter. Yeah, that's it. See you coming to my Jewish people there. All the way over there. What about the conspiracy about birds not being real um is dude i know dudes that believe oh i that was my next question are there people who don't believe in birds but you just confirmed to me that you actually know someone who doesn't believe in birds so tell me more about that so birds aren't birds there's no such thing as birds animals don't

fly have you ever seen any other animals that aren't birds fly exactly nothing but birds fly right so they're not real they're actually government robots and why would they chill on a uh on power lines right that's weird why would an animal chill on a power line exactly because they're recharging they're're robots. They're government surveillance robots that sit on power lines to recharge. For what it's worth, the people that I've heard say this, I know to be quite mentally ill. I've not met people that

are of sound mind and reason that firmly believe this. I think it's a similar group of people that believe in the gang stalking stuff. They often have mental illnesses. Or it's the people that... See, I believe that the vast majority of stuff they often have mental illnesses or it's the people that see i believe that the vast majority of flat earthers are trolls in that i agree they really enjoy being like no no no no so there's no there's ice wall yeah oh they don't let you fly over that

they love the idea of like finding their dumb friends and getting them to actually believe in it but the problem is that they're smart friends here and they think it's funny too. They're in on the joke. And so they pick it up as well. I think that the vast majority of flat earthers are like snickering behind their, their,

their, uh, their hand as they look at the person who's just like doing the research now. Like, dude, I looked into it last night, man.

Is this for real? And they're just laughing their ass off. But found a four Chan pose. I 4chan post i didn't i didn't know about the fake birds until maybe a year or two ago and i've read the same shit about how they'll they're charging on the power line yeah i guess they're supposed to be surveillance yeah that's what it is the government's watching god they're wasting so much money making those fake david attenborough documentaries i just can't believe it i watched i watched an hour and a half on tropical birds last week like they produced all of that just

to keep up with the lie i i don't know you fell for it man the turkeys we eat on thanksgiving they're robots see if they just told me that like some birds aren't birds i'd be like fuck that's all right that might be that might be a thing i agree that's more feasible that's not feasible but it's better if they were like the u.s government has a drone that looks like a bird they've had it for over a decade the drone technology that we saw those parrot drones that was 30 years old they've got bird drones now they They're squawks. They shit on people. They flap. They take French fries out of your hands. They lay eggs.

The eggs are also surveillance bots. It's a self-propagating surveillance system. They hatch surveillance pigeons. Yes, all that. They reproduce, for fuck's sake. That might be a thing. But birds definitely exist. What I never understand is why the conspiracies have to be so

vast and all outlandish. The conspiracy has to require every world government to be in on it. And for there to be some Illuminati-like shadow government. And I'm not completely opposed to the existence of any of that but

people working together for a common cause is a rare fucking thing especially and keeping a secret is even rarer so like all of that seems uh unlikely to me especially for birds i've shot a bird and eaten it right after i shot it so i definitely know birds are real i think that anyone who doesn't believe birds has never eaten a bird before or they were just really crazy he's like haha they planted a real one look at that man i also this pork tastes like turkey i also shot a bird out of the sky and ate it you guys shot a bird out of the sky and i ate it with the wires and everything shot it with a gun okay little balls uh yeah i went pheasant hunting and it was uh this was in in quebec i know this guy and his family like owns like a whole like village and they they literally buy like tens of thousands of pheasants at like 20 ahead a head and put them in bushes for months.

Yep. And then they have the nearby village come and shake the bushes. And we're holding our guns pointing at the bushes slightly above kids, like shaking the bushes in there. And then the, then the, then the birds come out and,

and then we shot them. We shot them out of the air and then dogs ran and collected them and brought them to us. So that's very sporting. Yeah. Just like these fat spoiled birds who aren't expecting anything. They've been pampered. They never fucking saw this shit coming.

All of a sudden they're having a bush quake, and they just fucking peel out and get smoked. I'm like 12 feet away. It's like flying. And then once I murdered my first, I was like, let's go, bro. Let's go.

I was right where it was. There wasn't no hunting involved. That wasn't hunting. That was just killing. She was a pheasant at 12 feet. It was. It would just explode. It wasn't hunting. We planted them there. We planted them there. That's the worst part.

Did you tie little rocks to its poor feet? You joke? No. I've seen this done before. I didn't participate because whatever but but like you're shooting a gun yeah that's what it was uh so they would um they would take these i think they're quail at this at this bird club but they would um they put the quail in a towel and like fold the towel in half once long ways and and so then they've got that i think that

they could like do this with like you're gonna whip somebody in a locker room but they just keep going like fast and the bird when they're done is like fucked up he's so dizzy he doesn't know up from down anymore and now that he's dizzy as fuck they go there you go little buddy sit right there yep just chill right there and then they keep doing that and they plant birds throughout the field and then they then the guy's waiting over there with his trained four thousand dollar bird dog and his shotgun and like yeah he's he's been training for this and he's like all right go out there and get those dizzy birds mark you've got them right i am and he goes out there and as quickly and efficiently as he can he kills dizzy birds and that's which is probably very quick and efficient i would assume well the part of it's the

dog and part of it's the hunter hitting the bird is like i don't know it i was gonna say it's like hitting the extra point in uh football yeah it's like that it's like hitting the extra point in football it's like you're gonna hit it right because like if you didn't it'd be incredibly embarrassing like this is really just about everything that comes before this and yeah but it's still super lame because it's supposed to be the birds are in a cage like we already had them we could we could have snapped little necks and eaten them right these birds came from elsewhere the ones that i like he they were brought from elsewhere and then like placed in the bushes like six months before they get all comfortable i don't think quail lived here

i don't think quail are indigenous to georgia like they bring them in and like shake them up and then we eat them after like we eat them like the dog was the most impressive part of the day because they all fall into like thick brush and then like eight dogs run out into the brush and they come back with this like bloody dead creature. Like as if like they're like, yeah, you love this. Hey, I'm like, yo, all these dogs are fucked mentally, bro. Dogs are fucked up in the head. A dog is a psychopath.

They love it. It was like when you're in like retrieval dogs, they are having the time of their life. They're having more fun than the hunters. Like, yeah, don't you wish you could approach your job like a dog in a way like whatever your job is like don't you wish like you could be sleeping and someone's like yo wake up and you're like yo let's go see i'm ready to go and you're like you want to work today you're like yeah man let's work today like that's my dog i could literally he could be dead asleep and I'd be like, you'll wake up. And he'd be like, what's wrong? Percent energy already.

Like that is the most envious thing about dogs because like, or animals as a whole, like for us, like as humans, like we've got all these stresses, all these thoughts. Like if we're sitting on the couch relaxing, it may be like,

I should go to sleep, but I've got all these meandering thoughts and, and you know, things going on in my head. I'm going to watch a movie. Whereas like a dog, if a dog is like, he be like, I should go to sleep, but I've got all these meandering thoughts and, you know, things going on in my head. I'm going to watch a movie. Whereas like a dog, if a dog is like, he's like, am I actively hungry or thirsty or do I have to poop? No, I'm going to bed. Like, it doesn't matter if he just slept for nine, 10, 11 hours.

Right. Not just that. If you like, if you ate a big, fat, juicy hamburger and it tasted great and then you went and fell asleep and four minutes later, someone woke you up with another big, fat, juicy hamburger and it tasted great and then you went and fell asleep and four minutes later someone woke you up with another big, fat, juicy hamburger, you'd be like, bro, get the fuck out of my face. Don't ruin my sleep. My dog, if he has a treat and goes to bed and then I wake him a minute later, I'm like, yo, you want another treat?

He'd be like, yeah? I would love that, bro. I haven't had one in like eight years. Let's do it. He's ready for another treat. He's like, the fuck took so long. They eat when they're not hungry just because they know there's not opportunity. I've like gone into my bedroom or office or something like

after eating chicken wings before this happened a couple months ago. Actually, this has happened many times. And I just leave like all the chicken bones on the coffee table there. And I came back out and like when I eat chicken wings, like I play for keeps, you know, there were probably 15 flats bones on there, which is like 30 of the little tiny bones, you know? And I come back in and my 12, no, my 17 pound dog had eaten all of them. That's dangerous.

All of them. And like my wife was like, he's going to die. Fosse's going to die. And I was like, he's going to die. Fosse's going to die. And I was like, he's probably not like he's I think I even said more trying to convince myself than her. I'm like, I think I read online that it's only bad if they vomit it. They can digest it, but they can't vomit it once it's already shards or it'll tear up the little esophagus. I'm still Taylor, whatever. Even at the time, I'm not buying it.

I'm like, I'm not even buying this. But he's fine. He's totally fine. How long ago? Months ago, you said? This was probably five weeks ago and he's not dead yet. Yeah, he'll be alright. Five weeks, yeah, I agree.

He'll be okay then. Just don't worry about it. Isaiah, I wanted to ask you, what are the conspiracies i'm sure you've done so many i'm sure there's multiple that you went into in your research being like this is the silliest thing it's going to be funny and then as you're going you're like no it can't be real this can't be any like that that like by the end i bamboozled myself here so i would say the biggest one um that i really entered with like the whole i'm gonna make fun of this thing on the internet

um and now i'm legitimately scared of it is the concept of fractalization uh specifically which i think lyzation fractalization so kyle has more experience with this kind of thing than i do but specifically with that look specifically with hallucinogenics and uh things like lsd and all of that people will begin to see these patterns and they will have no about fractals they'll see these entities yeah fractals and stuff like that the craziest thing to me is every single story I've ever heard from someone who has any experience with tripping or whatever. They always encounter the same creatures. They see the same shapes. They have the same experiences.

And the wildest story to me, the one that made me shut the computer and be like, all right, I'll come back to this at a later day. and be like, all right, I'll come back to this at a later day. There were these four guys out West who they all got DMT and they were high for like two days. Like they hooked themselves up on an IV to stay hydrated. They went in. All four of them came out and said that they had met each other, that they had talked to each other in this fractal plane or whatever. And then while telling the story to other people were able to accurately relay who each other was what they did

and they all had like a shared experience in this plane of existence or whatever um and i was like no that that can't be real and then i keep finding more and more and it's true it's driven me up a wall so that's interesting to me um I've only done mushrooms and acid, but DMT seems really interesting, depending on how you do it. There's the two kinds. I don't get super technical with it. Everybody always wants to pull out a goddamn fake chemistry degree.

Dymethyl ethyl katechete. I want to stop him right there and be like, explain to me how that molecule is constructed. Could you draw it for me? What kind of bonds are those? I know, bro, but I got it tattooed on my leg, bro. I remember just enough chemistry to know that you don't know chemistry. So just stop pretending.

But anyway. I'm going to throw terms out there like ionic bond, covalent bond, potassium. Oh. Potassium. Poron. Elements. Science. Test tubes. Beakersakers bunsen burner much you guys are way too smart they clearly know their shit you fucking i always keep a lit bunsen burner going when i have company over so they're like wow this guy oh sorry you caught me in the middle of my study and i'm just i'm melting

i'm melting like 50 snickers minis into a bigger snickers there's actually nothing funny about that you throw a sheet over it there's actually nothing funny about melting any chocolate bars i. I was about to say, wait a minute. I told you I was never going to interrupt me during my studies. Look, we have a guy here that has found great success with melting food into bigger food. There's totally nothing. It's nothing to laugh at melting little chocolate bars down into

one big chocolate bar. It's a genuine sign. There's absolutely a lot of cool things about that. I think that's very respectable. My wife telling me that no matter how hard i work no one is going to buy my 10 million dollar bar which is a hundred hundred it's a 10 million dollar bar it's in the shape of rhesus i wrote to frito-lay back to You know, the only example of that that actually works is what we've all done in making the mega, mega stuffed Oreo. We can improve upon this.

It can be done. The other day, I was with somebody at Dollar General or something, and she grabbed some Oreos, this little individual serving of Oreos, like four of them. And they were like, I don't remember what word they used, but it was like stupid fucking retarded stuffed Oreos. And when she got them, I was like, wait a goddamn minute. Let me see that.

It's just cream. They just gave you a big tube of cream and like two cookies. She's like, you want a bite? I'm like, fuck no. It's just a big mouthful just cream. They just gave you a big tube of cream and two cookies. She's like, you want a bite? I'm like, fuck no. It's just a big mouthful of cream. How much more thicker is it than a traditional double stuff? Like double a double stuff? Oh, maybe three or four times.

It's so thick. You know when you get a big hamburger and you're like, I don't know if I get my mouth this wide. It was like that. That's too much. It came in a can like Pringles. It was taller than it was like that but that's too much that's not it came in a can like pringles it was it was it was taller than it was wide not really but it was it was silly yeah i remember back in the day making like uh your own mega stuffed oreo it was fun you got like four oreos you made a mega one you ate it you're like wow so good but then like when oreo did it like triple stuff

you're kind of like now this is fucked up bro oh that doesn't even come close yeah what was that one on the left first of all that one on the left that is probably the oreo that didn't that looked like oreo let me see pull it up again that's an oreo somebody ate a little. That already been licked. Is there something called Oreo Thins? Did I dream that? There are Oreo Thins. That's probably what it is, yeah. There's vanilla ones, too.

What kind of fucking masochist is buying... That's what I'm talking about! Oh my god. You see what I mean? Each pack, each... An individual serving is four of those. Bro, you get your ass to fucking... Oh, my God. What the? You see what I mean? Whoa. That is diabetes. An individual serving is four of those. Bro, you get your ass to fucking. You go to Norway, you'll never get gangster shit like this, bro.

Say goodbye to the most stuffed. Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa. This is absurd. Read the bottom left corner of the Oreo pack. 110 calories per cookie? 110 calories per cookie. You know what's funny? I was talking about how the slit appears when it went open. I thought that was funny.

I like that it's like the most stuff, but it has to be with one F because legally they can't call it stuff because that cream isn't even a real thing. They're like, you can't even use two Fs. You have to make up your own word. Stuff means it's real. It's not, yeah. One F is copyrighted.

It means high fructose corn syrup. You know what I just realized? That cream and cream are two different words, because like cream that you make from a cow's milk is C-O-P-A-M. Oh, no. Oh, no. I've never seen this word before. There's no, because there's no

dairy in that. There's no milk in that, probably. What the fuck is CREME? Well, like, you know, you guys know muscle milk. That's how you spell, like, skin cream, right? C-R-E-M-E? I'm pretty sure, like, there's, like, a... You know that product, muscle milk? This is like restaurant for me. I've never noticed that

before. Well, no, I think Carly might be right. Do they spell cream that way? Because they can't do the regular spelling that impairs dairy farmers. Dairy farmers are very powerful. And like muscle milk here is muscle MLK.

R.I.P. It doesn't have an I in it. It literally doesn't have an I in it. It says muscle milk. I have a dream that we're't have an I in it. It says Muscle Milk. I have a dream that we're all going to get so fucking jacked we can fight for equality. Muscle Milk. I have a dream that I can hit my macros in a convenient way at gas stations and convenience stores. Muscle Milk.

They can't call it milk here, so it literally says Muscle Milk, but there's no I in the milk. I want to see a Muscle MLK photoshopped so goddamn bad. I want to see him ripped. I want to see him on Ronnie Coleman's body. That's what I want. I want MLK on Ronnie Coleman's body. I'm sure it's out there. Absolutely, it's out there.

You're going to get MLK on that black guy's body. You know which one I'm talking about sitting on the side of the bed. Oh! That exists out there. on that black guy's body. You know which one I'm talking about sitting on the side of the bed. Oh! That exists. OG Mudbone, yeah. Isn't that guy dead? Yes. Is he?

I remember hearing something about him. I remember something about him, how he needed the money, and he had to pose for those photos to help someone in his life. Somebody was like, maybe health issues or whatever. Someone needed money, and so he posed for those photos to help someone in his life. Somebody was like, maybe health issues or whatever. Someone needed money, and so he posed for those photos, and he regrets it. Regretted it, apparently.

Oh, that's sad. Thanks, Kyle. That was complicated. Yeah, now we're human traffickers. They're like, she's dying. We need you. We need your gigantic cock right now. We need you, muscle.

If there was ever a time that the world needs your humongous hanging dick, it's right now. Just sit there and look regal because we're going to put MLK's face on you. Got to keep it respectable. He lives on, though. He lives on. You're totally right. Muscle milk is definitely. You know some of the wild things muscle about the ml yes all the wild

things about the mlk assassination that didn't have to do with the conspiracy so uh jesse jackson was with him the day of the assassination as a matter of fact um king was hanging over a balcony talking to jackson in the parking lot below whenever he was shot. Immediately, Jesse Jackson ran to the news and he was wearing a sweater covered in blood and said that he was holding MLK as he was dying. And that's what the blood on the sweater is. Every single person who was there that day said what actually happened is MLK got shot and Jesse Jackson ran off and the rest of them stayed there with him. And Jesse Jackson went somewhere, put fake blood on himself, and then went to the news so he could get the attention for it.

He tried to pull his own juicy Smollett thing. Yeah, basically. Yeah, pretty much. In research for it, MLK had a lot of problems with Jackson because every time they would go to a rally or protest he would like aggravate it or like get it as a problem there was one instance i think it was it was some city up north um where king was giving a speech and he was talking about non-violence and the police show up and jackson's immediately like all right guys it's time time to fight make a wall and like this whole violent protest like rabble rousing yeah pretty much uh and he was like there's a bunch of accusations he was trying to take the spotlight um and it was specifically king's brother who was furious

at him for going to the news in a fake bloody sweater i mean oh man he died in my arms yeah tremendously narcissistic thing to do like MLK dies and it's like but how am I gonna get positive attention he wants to be remembered in history the only thing to remember is what about me I would hit him up all the time I'd be like

yo that was super weird the next year I'd be like yo you remember last year my brother died and you did that whole thing super weird I never want you to forget how fucking weird we all think you're weird all the people I talk to all my homies think you're weird I just got to know

where did you get the blood MLK have acrylic based blood you came up with a liter of fake blood in like eight minutes in Alabama on a Thursday afternoon. I've got to know more. I've got to know more.

Grab the bird. Pop its head off like a bottle of ketchup. I have children, goddammit. I can't allow you around them until I know where you got the blood. Where did you get the blood? You can't come around my kids. You have to know. Get off my ass. Oh, okay. Well, in that case, you can come around my kids. Fine, I'm going to have to show Williams. Get off my ass. Oh, okay.

In that case, you can come around my kids again. Fine. No, I don't know anything about that conspiracy about the MLK thing, but I do know that they were surveilling him and recording him and stuff, and they had that salacious audio of him

having sex with his wife and uh they were trying to use that against him he's like i don't care yeah he's like i'm married bro yeah they wrote him a letter to try to get him to kill himself uh where the fbi posed as like a member like uh i think it was a black teen who was like a fan of him and was like man you should you should probably kill yourself before this goes public the first troll comment existed yeah the first one in all history probably not but yeah the first you know it's wild uh whenever i was going through research for the one the like first detail i got to that made me feel like, there's no way. And then sure enough, it was real. The gun, it was a Remington 760

and.30-06. The gun that had raised fingerprints on it was never matched ballistically to the bullet that killed King. They tried it over and over. What the fuck, man? Yeah, and the best that they could determine is that it was

the same model, probably, because the rifling patterns within the barrel were similar. They're like, yeah, we can't exactly determine this is the same rifle that did it, but it's probably close enough. Are you scared tonight that you're on a list

or something? No. You're not worried that you're on a list i'm on a list oh i know i know i know for a fact i'm on a list uh but i don't like i was on several they made me sign up for the list they were like all right this is for the list and they like scanned my like face and took my dna like like yeah i'm on a a list. We're all on a list. Not that one, but I think we share a few lists. Kyle's on a list. The Baby Gap subscription list.

Oh my god. I can't stop sitting in there. I'm actually curious. Just waiting for that winter collection. Even though it'll sound funny coming out of my mouth i actually am genuinely serious uh what's the scariest jewish related conspiracy theory uh you've come across

because you got you go deep in conspiracy theories like the jews are there like the jews it pops up i'm on like if they're like the rifles didn't match what's the answer all right i feel like the go-to answer for every conspiracy there's like the they're like the rifles didn't match, what's the answer? All right. I feel like the go-to answer for every conspiracy theory is like the Jews. So the rifles didn't match the Jews. So this is, 75 people, one guy. Yeah.

The Jew. This isn't really a theory, but it's just what happened. So I remember when, I don't remember. I remember watching on TV, like the recording, I guess of when Marlon Brando said that all of Hollywood was controlled by the Jews.

Did he say that? He said it publicly. And you know what happened? What? Hollywood made him apologize publicly if he wanted to act again. That is pretty funny. There were some Jews in Hollywood who said, you want to work again? You better

say that's not true. Wait a minute. Which is ironic. First of work again you better say that's not true wait a minute which is ironic first of all i will say that um and second of all like you realize the irony in all this right yeah you get it oh yeah we understand now say it like we understand the irony we really do run it but you got to say sorry that that happened it was it was when he was a little bit older uh uh this is post godfather was this? Like the 70s? That'd be a good bet. 70s would be a good bet. I don't know, just based on what he looks like in the video.

This is fat Brando? This is fat Brando? This is fattening Brando, for sure. So not all the way inflated yet. He's still got pants on. He's still wearing the pants. Do you remember Island of Dr. Moreau, Brando? That is not best Brando you're like wow i remember like streetcar named desire like like he's he looks so good like

he's like i don't know maybe 25 there and then you fast forward to island of dr moreau when they're holding up posters with his lines on them and he's staggering around obese and they did that godfather also by the way well he liked it that he's bad with the line so he has like his lines taped all over the room or all the actors look somewhere and see the lines all over the place i mean this is apparently much of what acting is is knowing what you're supposed to say no it's not apparently his his uh he was also shit on purpose for his first take and if the director was was like, okay, cool, let's do another take. He acted shit for the rest of the movie.

If the director wasn't able to differentiate good acting from bad acting, he didn't give 110%. So he would give like 50%. And if the director was cool with that, he just went on 50%. But if the director was like, no, we could do better than that, then he was like, ah, a real director.

And then he would turn it on. I really liked it. Sounds like a neurotic weirdo. Oh, he is a neurotic weirdo, or was. I mean, most of them are. The Godfather stuff's really interesting to me. I know the scenes when the actor has

lines on his chest. They have a piece of paper stapled to the actor, and Brando's looking at him. And because of the angle angle you can't see that but and i know that that's happening but i'm watching brando and i can't tell i can't tell he's reading off somebody's fucking chest he's acting very well he's like he's also picked up that stray cat that just wandered on set and he's made it the godfather's cat now. I just imagine the director being like, someone catch that fucking cat. Catch that cat.

Do not allow... I don't know why he's like... Now the cat is part of the fucking movie. We need that cat. Tranquilize that bitch. When he slaps the guy, the first scene in the Godfather where he's having the meeting with all the people because it's

his daughter's wedding and Johnny Fontaine comes in with his guinea charm and his olive oil skin and he's saying he can't get the movie deal or whatever, you know, he's being cut out of Hollywood and he's crying and like Brando slaps the piss out of him

and like, be a man, stop crying and like the actor did not know he was about to get slapped. Like I love stuff like that. and Brando slaps the piss out of him. Be a man! Stop crying! The actor did not know he was about to get slapped. I love stuff like that. That's awesome. I like when another actor hits another actor and the other actor doesn't know it's coming, actually. I think that's what I like. Because I like that in Alien, too.

Same thing happens. Did they do that in Alien? Which actor doesn't know they're getting hit? Yeah, so the blonde actress, whose name's escaping me right now, she was uh a professional actress and it had been for a while but sigourney weaver got the role of ripley and uh she did not like that she wanted the role of ripley so there's a scene where

she slaps ripley and she just slapped the fuck out of sigourney weaver because she's so mad that sigourney weaver is killing the role what i've read she was like 50 the Sigourney Weaver the whole time. Was it Nancy Cartwright? I can't remember the actress's name. It doesn't matter. I did see a really funny tweet that it was like, is there any other Sigourney or

is it just her? I was like Sigourney Weaver. I think we can call her Sigourney. There's no other Sigourney. I'm a big Sigourney Weaver fan like i think she's hot um i uh yeah what else do you like her in other than alien she was good in ghost but but i liked her in gorillas in the mist um that that jane i never saw the jane goodall movie i never saw that because i heard it was sad and i don't want to watch a bunch of monkeys get fucked up it's sad but you know it's good too uh there's a few other things i'm spaced out

really it was weird though it was alien and aliens that like stuck with me as a kid because she's so badass you think she banged those monkeys out there yeah just no hesitation. I was like, yeah, I've thought about it. How much do you teach them how to fuck? I don't know anything about her other than what I learned in the Simpsons episode that features her, but she was living in a treehouse alone. Bouncing. Oh, this is my roommate,

Bobo. Bobo's walking out of the bathroom scratching his ass like, wait minute her toothbrush in his mouth no she she came up with all sorts of helpful things and did she though i think she was more about conservation mostly and like she proved it's not possible for us to interbreed about conservation mostly. She proved it's not possible for us to interbreed. Yeah.

I guess she did. All chimps are premature ejaculators. Again, Miss Goodall. We know that it's not possible. You can stop now, Miss Goodall. We're different species, Miss Goodall. We knew this already. Stop. I've been trying for 32 years.

Trying to live with a bunch of chimps and not like if your only goal is like don't get killed like what do you have to do you know what i mean eventually i feel like they're going to challenge you as the hierarchy master and they'll try and assault you i feel like the only way you can survive 100 living in the woods with a bunch of chimps is you have to have an almost unlimited supply of food that you can only access. Like there's a little Rubik's Cube on the top and you open the chest. You're going to memorize that Rubik's Cube one day and then you're going to bite your fingers off. No, because they're

chimpanzees. They don't understand that the way you're solving the cube is because you're mentally intelligent. They think you have magic fingers. So they rip my fingers off and they rip off the fingers. They can just pluck out all have magic fingers. So they rip off my fingers off. They rip off the fingers. They can just pluck off all your magic fingers. Then they can open.

They're like, I don't understand. I ripped out his throat off his scrotum, and yet I remain hungry. I can't speak for Chimp specifically, but my girlfriend is, she's currently in her final year of vet school and over the summer she worked at a primate research facility so she was like working handling uh the monkeys the whole time they're like the rhesus monkeys and that stuff so they're not as big as chimps but they have like very similar attitudes and the two ways that you like put them in line because you'd walk in and the more they'd be screaming shouting like grabbing throwing stuff around or whatever um yeah you either brought them a treat

if anyone had a treat they would just like attention hunt everyone in line just do whatever you say or if you screamed at them it's either incredibly positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement um because it's like they were fighting or whatever and you just screamed like get in the cage they would just stop screaming be like all right i lost this round i'll go get in the cage he's got an alpha male on basically huh that's interesting you gotta go carrot yeah i didn't know they would be that sensitive to being scolded the fact that keep in mind they are smaller than like chimps i don't know if it applies to larger monkeys but yeah yeah well and the person scolding them is the one in charge of like doling out the food and water and

so they kind of have to be like all right this is the real deal let's be real he's also the one who wears that white coat who takes him down the hallway where the screams come from yeah yeah that's true that also happens keep in mind he's not talking about a place where they play with monkeys all day. He's talking about a makeup company. Which one of these needles do you think hurts more? Only one way to find out. Give them both. I saw a video.

Maybe you guys know where I saw it from. I don't know, but it was demonstrating intelligence to an animal in a way. It was a bull, and the farmer was like, oh, this bull won't fuck with me he thinks i'm the strongest creature alive because he sits there all day trying to lift that gate and there's a bolt yeah and he tries to lift it all day and he can't and then i walk over i unhinge it and then i open it easily and he looks at me like i'm a fucking god like he looks not exactly but he's like the bull looks at me like I'm a fucking god. He looks at me like the bull looks at me like I am the strongest creature alive.

He won't mess with me. That's just so funny. It's like, you stupid fucking animal. It's a little latch, you idiot. Kill me in two seconds. It's time to be some metal. I've seen kind of the opposite side of that. We had one go crazy one time, like it had gone feral,

and it was just trying to tear through this fence. And my dad's on the other side of the fence. And so is the highway. If it gets in the highway, you're, you're liable with that thing, like runs in front of a car and kills a family. So you can't let it get there.

And dad's got a gun and he's, he's trying to negotiate with this wild animal. He's like, no, you can't. I don't want to shoot you. Go back. He's like hitting it with the butt of the

shotgun like no no he's got a fucking shooter he shoots it in the neck and it falls into the ditch like through the fence it was trying to get through and like neck under body and it's like fuck yeah like expensive expensive yeah hell yeah that's a loss he comes he drives back to our house which is very close it's like fuck yeah like expensive expensive yeah hell yeah that's a loss he comes he drives back

to our house which is very close it's within sight of this and he's mad about this he's he's arranging like someone to process the cow so that it's not just thrown in a hole we're gonna get it like processed so we have all the meat in the freezer and uh and he's like yeah she's i don't know 900 1100 1200 something like that a pounds. And yet right now she's dead. I'm looking at, let me call you back. She had gotten up. She had only been knocked unconscious by the first shot. She had made it.

She had made it across the first road and she's running across another field. And now it's not just a road she's heading for. Now she's running for her life. It's a major highway she's headed for now. She's not making it across. Oh, good. So now he's chasing her in a truck that sells a trailer through a field, and it's just,

ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. He passes her, gets all the way in front of her, and now he's got a deer rifle. He pulls out the driver's side window and shoots her in the chest as she's running at him. She's not trying to like, oh, there's a loud trailer and truck. She wants him.

She's coming. Yeah, they can get crazy. Yeah, unfortunately. But we ate her. How did she taste? Did that stop her? The shots in the chest? Delicious. I can remember eating that cube steak and gravy like

a year and a half later and being like victory she was crazy but tender i really do remember that we ate that cow for like two years after that we had we had beef that's all i haven't gone hunting in years like i in years. I think it's been six years since the last time I hunted. It was deer hunting, which is the most important kind of hunting on Earth. We always talk about doing a trip. We could go on a hunting trip next year. You should get better with

your bow. I need to buy a compound bow and really start practicing. You only have a year. I'm still getting better with the recurve bow. I don't know if I'm ready to step over to... Compound is easier than recurve, obviously.

You could learn two hobbies in a year. I did manage to get a deer with my friends this year. This year, I do have my little hunter's license. You killed it? Well, I spawned it for my buddy on the rifle you shot him with a rifle my but i was the spotter for my buddy who was mounted on the gun

and took the shot so i got to share in the spoils no not well it's not if you do it at a reasonable range we were setting up a challenge for ourselves we. We have a friend who has a lot of property, and it was across two hillsides. So we – how do I say this on the internet? Conveniently came across one that was located on the other hillside. And then so we did the whole dope measurements and everything like that to try to nail the shot. And we got it in one shot, so I was very happy with that. I swear I do not tell tales outside of school. This is

100% honest. I do long-range shooting. 753 yards. Whoa! It's like a battlefield sniper headshot. 6.5 Creedmoor out of a Ruger Precision Rifle. That's cool. You killed it, and then you have two miles to walk.

No. Well, it's not that far. I was on the shooter side of it, so I did my work. Someone else went and carried that thing for me. Okay, that's a good deal. I just set up there as my little spotting scope.

I'm like, yeah, I have two mils, whatever. Then it's like, all right, I'm done. I'm ready for dinner. Where's the steak at? One of the most fun times I had hunting, I was like, I think I was, it was the first time I went dove hunting. I was like eight and eight or nine. Dove hunting?

Dove hunting, yeah. And it was like, it wasn't like normal dove hunting. Like you just go out. It was like the field like event thing where you like go to a field and they stock it. And like, I'm eight, nine years old. So so I've shot clays with a shotgun for a while, but that's about the extent of it. And you couldn't miss.

The dog would run up and scare a bush, and it would just be like the arrows in 300 levels of doves, where I genuinely wasn't aiming. I was just swinging the the little 20 gauge i had up there just you know it was an over under and then every so often one or two would fall it was great it was so much fun and i didn't get that it was like a stocked area because i was a child but i remember like at the time being like yeah i'm an excellent hunter i'm an excellent hunter just I'm an excellent hunter.

Just firing into a cloud of birds. Dude, that's how Harley was. Ambushing a flock of pheasants at 12 feet. Yeah, exactly. But I wasn't ambushing the symbol of peace the worldwide. That's fair.

You have the idea of doves in your head before you go, especially as a kid. And it's like those white, pure, beautiful doves. Then you see a real dove, and it's like, oh, so the dove is just marketing. Oh, they're all dirty gray like pigeons. They are. Yeah, they all look dirty.

The white ones are just bread for selling in TV. Yeah, for soap. They taste tremendous. For soap. I would like to try Dove at your house. Prepared by you. It takes two seconds to

clean it because it's such a tiny little animal. You just grab, like, you take your finger on both sides and you just grab like you take your finger on both sides and just pop it like you're breaking its spine and you just force the breast to meet out then you just rip it it takes it is the easiest animal to clean ever and you look kind of cool while you're doing it because you're just like uh kali ma like yeah yeah i did that with i did that with turtles they're so they fucked up. They're so fragile that if you

tried to tear a dog's leg off, it just wouldn't work. One thing, he'd bite you at some point. But if you reach into a dove's chest and just pull its entire breast meat out, it'll just come right out. You can do that with your bare hands. The dove doesn't even care.

It's just squishy. Oh, it hates it. It's just squishy. It hates it. It hates it. I did it. They never fly again. The dove hates it? Yeah, they hate it. I never fly again.

Have you ever heard a dove scream? The breast meat grows back and the next year you you you pluck it again i get it no you shoot them and then you know then then you like pull the meat off but what you have is you have this little like breast like cutlet thing like it looks like a chicken but obviously incredibly tiny and uh you put cream cheese in the middle and uh wrap it in bacon with a toothpick and grill those things are really really fucking good quail is good like that you need a lot of them though like if you're gonna eat a meal of dove it's like hot wings you need like 11 12 doves it's just like hot wings yeah you need 10 or 15 or something

if you're hungry i spent like we we would sit there and like eat a dozen of them and like drink beer and they're just so fucking good i bet they're not i bet they're pretty good for you like macro wise it's really lean it's really lean there's like no fat in there it's it's one of those things that like you probably couldn't even survive on if that was your yeah i was reading something about that it's called like rabbit starvation where you you're you could have like as like if you're in the wild like you're less strout or whatever even if you had unlimited rabbit meat you could still starve to death because there's not enough fat in there to sustain you and your body can't survive on protein forever so i actually just did a well

i say just it was like last month i did a video on chris mccandles he tried to be a survivalist in alaska uh one of the lead theories is he died of rabbit starvation yeah that guy uh one of the theories is he died of rabbit starvation so so what else did you go hunting all these rabbits cook all these rabbits cook all these rabbits eat all these rabbits and still die yeah i would just be like just kill me let's just skip to death i've heard people say that i've heard people say that about a lot of food i was unaware that there was a term for that but like whenever i was eating ramen when i was in prison and shit people say like you know that's technically not food right like you couldn't eat just that and

live it just makes you not hungry like is that what is that a similar thing guys looking out for your nutrition i don't yeah i know right i was like i used to be drugs that would kill me immediately shut up get off my back is that the same thing i mean like there's i'm sure it is like you couldn't you can't eat just that like you couldn't it would be hard to pick a food maybe that you could survive on like i bet i bet potatoes for some reason i bet you could live a long time eating nothing that but it's because you watch the martian oh yeah you're right it's because i watch the martian but you can't you need vitamins and minerals right like at some point you're gonna you know like run out of some vitamin and mineral and like it's gonna become a problem like even if it

doesn't like efficiency it's not like like maybe we could live without like that but like that leads to some disease or something i just don't think scurvy for example scurvy is a great example you need that no vitamin c you get scurvy simple as that you can survive a really long time on potatoes compared to other food sources the main reason being it has a lot of like mineral supplements and it has all the amino acids needed for your body to put together its own proteins uh the issue you run into like kyle said is a vitamin deficiency but that won't kill you until like a few years uh the only real time that we have proof historically is like in ireland like right now famine where there were

families who exclusively lived on potatoes for years that's the only time people have really died from like exclusively eating potatoes imagine that like i'm sorry to interrupt you but oh no no you're good they went so long eating nothing but potatoes that they died like what a terrible life that that might be the worst death i've ever heard of like i do step by tater tot it would take me four years like i would literally be like like i love potatoes i like if we're like you know i mean you boil them mash them stick them in a stew many ways to consume these potatoes i would be like literally like day 1288 i'm kind of getting tired of potatoes now breakfast potatoes they're scientists studying you like i don't fucking understand it either.

Bobby's had nothing but potatoes. I love potatoes. He only eats a poutine. He can only have one form of potatoes. Rest of it. Only one form. You're getting crazy with this question already. I was thinking about this just now.

I'm going breakfast potatoes. The most underrated kind of potato you get some rosemary little little peppers on there it's good some onions in there onions i want you to know that breakfast potatoes are not underrated where i front in montreal it literally makes or breaks all breakfast restaurants like if you're not giving a nice helping of potatoes and good potatoes, your breakfast restaurant is fucked. I want there to be a little bit of char on there. I want to notice that you've hand chopped those fuckers.

Yeah. Inconsistencies in the side. As a Tennessee boy, do sweet potatoes count? Yeah. Well, you don't get both. You choose sweet potatoes as your only potato? But I like sweet potatoes. Yes, sweet potato't get both. Sweet potatoes is your only potato potato. But I like sweet potatoes. Yes, sweet potato casserole easily.

I think you're so different to me now in my brain and how I think. I don't even know how to like. I thought I had you figure it out for a second. Now I'm like. Sweet potatoes are very good. Sweet potatoes. There's no way I can pick any form of sweet potatoes. I can't. I wouldn't be able to pick

sweet potatoes in all variations. I would rather have one variation of a normal potato than all variations of sweet potato for my lifetime. How many people in this group right now are from Appalachia? No. That's what I thought.

I'm the only one that's right because I'm the only one who understands how important sweet potatoes are to a bowl. There you go. What flavor moonshine do you prefer to go blind on? I honestly, you know, I don't know people that's happened to.

Honestly, if I chose anything else, I'm sure after a year I'd be like, I fucked up. I got played straight and safe. gotta be like french fries like I really gotta be like french fries I because I agree I love breakfast potatoes but I think at a certain point I'll be like I fucked up and then it's also like chips too even can I cheat oh chips on potatoes yeah that's a good fries a good answer. What if I say baked potato and then I can do stuff to it to make it other potatoes? Like, you mean get a baked potato and then you mash it up?

Yeah. I like that way of thinking. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking french fries are super versatile. They're on the other side of that one-way or that two-way mirror. They're like, holy fucking shit, he's cracked it, boys. He said they're mashing it up.

He made mashed potatoes out of a baked potato. Who gave him the fork? Did he ask like, holy fucking shit. He's cracked it, boy. He said they're mashing it up. He made mashed potatoes out of a baked potato. Who gave him the fork? Did he ask for it? I knew it. It is not an answer to say, what if I bake a potato and then I cut it into small pieces and then put rosemary on it and then bake it again? What if I mash it and then put... And then what if I bake it and then scallop it?

All right. I approve of the loophole. I think he figured it out. So I can start a potato garden, and then I'll grow several potatoes. I can do whatever I want. Oh, he chose potato raw. What do you mean, understanding this question? That was the smartest move. The 400 IQ play.

I'm choosing raw, and then I can do whatever the fuck I want. One mode. One mode. Kyle, are you going mushed, or are you going baked? I am choosing for them to deliver to me a baked potato and what i the way i consume that potato was up to me that's the whole question i know no i will no no i i won't ruin the fucking question um i think i think if you have to eat them forever it might need to be those breakfast potatoes because they strike a nice

balance between French fries and baked potato and everything else. They're not fried. It's a good fusion. Yeah. You get a few of those on your fork with a little bit of egg on it. I mean, obviously they're breakfast potatoes, but there's something... Anyway, I like them... I think of scallop potatoes

as the ones with cheese. Home fries. Yeah, me too I put scalloped pretty low on the totem pole of potato If I were given the opportunity I like them There's like six different types of potatoes I'd pick over that You ever get that box

You ever get the box of potatoes agrotten Yes I like that I like it too, it's white trash food, but it's fucking good. And nobody's ever got it. Alright, so it's this box of potatoes agrotten. And what you've got, which sounds fancy and it ain't, it's like 78 cents.

It's the macaroni and cheese of potato dishes. And you open the box and it's like hamburger help. And you look in and it's got all these dehydrated potato chips. They look like potato chips, but they're potato slices have been dehydrated so until they're so sad and weak and then there's a big packet of like cheese powder like like from like mac and cheese and you mix butter and milk and the cheese powder and you bet yeah there are yeah and then you bake everything and they come out like pretty fucking good and as a kid like like that was i thought i

was betting i was like i was like fucking 11 like like like mom look what i made i made i made And they come out pretty fucking good. And as a kid, I thought I was Betty Parker. I was like fucking 11. Like, Mom, look what I made. I made fucking potatoes and gratin in here. And she's like, you've made a huge, huge mess. You've made a huge mess. You've used every pot and pan that I own. Cheese powder all over the goddamn place.

To make a microwave dinner. To make a microwave meal. You were my greatest, greatest mistake. Why? She always said regret, not mistake. Whenever people were like,

uh, whenever people were like, Hey, you could, uh, what's the only thing if you could choose one thing to eat on a, on an Island, what would it be?

And I always got that question over the years. And my answer my answer uh i thought i figured out the ultimate cheat answer and i would just say sandwich but then it's like i get to bring oreos all the different types of oreos are sandwich hamburger comes in hot dog comes in tacos and that kind of hot dog yeah yeah hot dog question no not a controversy no that's a sandwich no it's a sandwich if it contains meat and it's between two pieces of bread that counts as a sandwich i'm just saying right now that i've been around with the argument i've been with the argument for a long time but if harley from fucking epic meal time tells me that a hot dog is a motherfucking sandwich yeah it is a hot dog is a sandwich and you know what if you think and if a hot dog is a sandwich

it is and then we know that an oreo cookie is also a sandwich well then we've decided that it's not just bread that is the deciding factor you could use other materials too and that's why a taco is a sandwich that's right you know you know what i would material in between other materials i would actually it's an open-faced sandwich and cereal is soup i mean i i just can't sound crazy i think cereal is a sandwich harley have you considered this cheap answer what they ask for the rest of your life defend them say like uh tgi fridays now there's an establishment on your island you can sleep there you've got shelter you've got any tizers oh you know they've got you were that and soda school the one who gained all the questions like that right out of the way of it taylor i gotta know how you asked him that question after he just

said that he considers cereal a sandwich and after he dropped that bomb cereal i just i don't understand yeah it is soup it's true but no he's a sandwich no no it's a sandwich let me explain let me explain you see once you have these all these sandwiches you know like we look at things like uh uh we were saying like a taco or or uh you know if a taco is a sandwich you know if you like close it up if you would close it up a soft taco it's still a taco it's still a sandwich it's just enclosed now that would mean that enclosed items like that are also sandwiches. So like a calzone is a sandwich. So now imagine a calzone. I can get behind that.

Imagine a calzone made of skin filled with blood and bones. Yes. We are sandwiches. And it's a baby. We're sandwiches, bro. Like if you follow this line of logic, we're blood and bone calzones. We're sandwiches. I'm still not follow this line of logic, we're blood and bone calzones. We're sandwiches. I'm still not certain.

Now cereal is a sandwich. Cereal, once we break it down, everything is sandwiched. Your cereal is sandwiched between a bowl and air. This is like a Rick and Morty bit. The bowl isn't eaten, though. This is the educational system. You don't have to eat all of your sandwich. I don't know, Rick. It doesn't seem like a sandwich.

Morty, you don't even understand what a sandwich is. You fucking retard. Oh, stop calling me a retard in front of my friends. Morty, if you talk again, I'm going to fucking execute you. I think... I'm going to bring those memories right back. That's something really bad to hang over somebody's head.

And I hope he didn't say that. I haven't seen all the episodes. Well, there was the whole episode of Morty's flashbacks or whatever, where it just shows all of the horrible things Rick did to him and hid in his memory, which that was the right thing to do like morty would have killed himself if he had half those memories of like getting getting abused sexually by aliens and stuff yeah yeah or when he killed santa claus killing santa yeah that's true i'm not gonna lie last time did you guys uh

believe in santa what was your total lifetime of Santa? I remember when I was five, I asked my mom, I was like, is Santa real? Because kids at school were talking about it, kindergarten. And she was like, no. And so I was like, oh, okay. And then I remember I told a couple of kids at school because I had the inside scoop and they got upset.

But yeah, my parents never let me believe it. They tried to make me write a letter to santa claus in the third grade and i refused why you're too cool you're like fuck that but i don't know how to write dad no no no i mean it's cool because i was i was like why my mom and dad give me gifts lately. We worked this out last year when someone gave me a camera for Christmas and I hid behind the couch to catch a picture of Santa Claus

and I caught dad putting my train set together. Somebody gave me a Polaroid. God, I'm old. I was like, I hid behind the couch with this Polaroid camera and I was like, when Santa comes out, I'm going to fucking catch this bitch on film.

National Enquirer. Next thing you know, Kyle's famous. I got this. Maybe I get an interview. Instead, Dad came out. I was like, oh shit. I was in second grade. Seven or something like that. The next year when they tried to make me write this fake man a letter, it was just nonsense and i didn't was insulting you know i actually nothing's

more fitting than kyle like performing an ambush on like an esoteric mythical being at the age of what seven seven like i'm gonna i'm gonna get him no one else has but i got this yeah just gonna get a picture you're gonna hog time i mean i guess i guess dad's lucky that like they didn't really else has, but I got this. You're going to hog tie him? I guess Dad's lucky that they didn't really pump up the Santa mythos in my house. I could have been back there with a pistol in one hand and I can't even... I'm getting a bag!

Smile for the camera. Hold up that newspaper. Santa bleeding looks a lot like my dad bleeding. Santa is some sort of a demon demon he changed into my father's form to try to trick me into letting him go but I beat him

mercilessly and eventually he admitted it and gave me $500 cash schizophrenic child and I've called the National Enquirer and sent them pictures and the confession didn't you when you were a kid though didn't you when you were a kid like even you would hear things that were fact but still want to believe in a way like i remember when i

first heard santa was fake like i had older brothers and stuff and we would celebrate christmas at my cousin's house and i still remember like for years like up until like eight still going to bed and be like i bet you he's fucking real he's coming here tonight though because i wanted that to happen so i would be like yeah to you maybe but i've seen enough movies to know that i'm the star of this story and he's gonna come see me or some shit like that i always i always dreamt up like fantastical stuff that i knew wasn't gonna happen but i'd be like but but for me, I deserve Santa. I was a good little Jewish boy with no Christmas tree in his house, but Santa's coming here just because I wanted that. That's something that I wanted to believe. I think I was like that with some stuff.

What was funny to me is I grew up at a Christian elementary school and the way around it is that some parents had told their children like, oh, well, God, you know, has Santa as one of his helpers. Like Santa helps God out. So then at school, if anyone's like Santa's not real, it's like, oh, so you're an atheist. Oh, my God. It became a point of contention. So you're an atheist. Oh, so a lot of people like we're not believed into the Santa mythos for a while.

Yeah. I mean, they're both like ethereal beings who bring gifts and grace, whatever. So, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was,

it was much better and maybe life was better when I believed in Santa Claus. Right. Like there was something really when there was still magic, like, like that was the last little bit of magic. I believed in Santa Claus, right? There was something really... When there was still magic. That was the last little bit of magic I think that existed in my life when I found out that Santa wasn't real. Like at seven, something like that.

Because before then, I think I probably believed in all sorts of things. When you're five, six, maybe even the Easter Bunny. Actually, no, I don't think I ever believed in that shit. Even my parents. The Easter Bunny,

I'll say this. I'll take this little leap. Step out on this ledge. Any fucking kid out there that believes in the Easter Bunny is fucking weird. You should keep an eye on them. Parents, if you've got a kid out there talking about the Easter Bunny and shit, and you didn't drill that into them, if they just believed that because they watched a Cadbury commercial one time,

keep an eye on that little fucker. He's going to do weird shit to animals one day. We think he's a loser, too, for believing such a stupid thing. For sure. Your kid's a fucking little idiot. You should definitely bully your children. Hard. No, the tooth Fairy, though,

I think we got down with. Here's the thing. It's easy to believe in the Tooth Fairy because nobody knows what she looks like. It's kind of like, Santa, you quickly you're like, wait a minute. God, he's everywhere. He always looks different. That's a black Santa? Now I'm calling bullshit.

I love Santa. The Tooth Fairy doesn't have a salad lure. If I was a black person, I would feel so fucking pandered to by a black Santa Claus. It's like, are you kidding me? You didn't think that we believed a white man could give us a gift? What kind of nonsense is black Santa? I would feel super pandered to.

But that's neither here nor there. I believed in the Tooth Fairy, though though because i'd never seen her before she always showed up with cash in hand and she didn't even bother me about it like like i woke up the money was there the dirty bloody tooth was gone and uh it seemed like you know you think that may be part of it like santa brought us gifts so we're like yeah i'm on board tooth fairy brought us money. Yeah. Easter bunny. Some like warm Reese's pieces and a plastic egg. Yeah. Like it could have just been that we were willing to buy in. Cause we didn't want to question where the money was coming from.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's it. I remember my tooth being under my pillow and like literally being asleep at like waking up. Like when my mom came in and she's like reaching under the pillow and I like grab it. I'm like,

Hey. And she's like, and I'm'm like how much she give you how much she give you for the two nice nice mom negotiate with that bitch five fucking dollars she's like yeah i know she's ripping me off i got the pliers and we got i wonder if there's ever a kid who did that. See, that would be a great bit in a movie or a TV show if the parents were trying to decide, do we extend this nonsense to the tooth fairy as well? Yeah, honey, I grew up with a tooth fairy.

I don't know. I think it's bad teaching a kid this nonsense. Trust me, what could go wrong with a tooth fairy? And then they give the kid the $10 for the tooth or whatever, and then the kid pulls all his teeth out the next day with pliers like like because he like because he like needs that'd be a great fucking bit is that is that the the amount that you that you got my brother gave his kid 10 bucks for a tooth and i was like i like called him i was like bro you're gonna raise fucking shitty people bro i said 10 i said 10 because i bet that's what kids get now

i i got 1991 dollars and i got five of them um that's a long time you were getting you were getting lincoln's under the pillow yeah yeah there was a time like i was i was reaching under there pulling out change oh my god i got a fucking i got like a hard loony. I remember I lost one of the big two, one of the front teeth here, and I thought that was like, for some reason in my head, I'm like, different teeth obviously have different inherent values. That's really smart thinking

for a kid, I think. I never thought that. I was like, tooth to tooth, you're like, this one's the front black? You better pay up, bitch. I got two dollars for that one, and that was, I think, the most I ever got from the tooth that's because you probably communicated it with your parents and they like they were like damn taylor's pretty smart for that he wanted more for his front teeth yeah a little extra for this one orio kid we like it kyle you're you were talking about like people pulling their teeth out i like this was first grade i guess like when you

start losing a bunch of your baby teeth, kindergarten, first grade. I had like one of those big ones in my front and it was genuinely pretty loose. And so I pulled it out. I think I tied a string to it and then just put the other one on the door, close the door and it pulls it out. No pain or anything. And then like all my friends were losing teeth, too. no pain or anything. And then like all my friends were losing teeth too. And in my head, it's like the more teeth you lose, the more mature and adult like you are.

Cause like you're maturing. And so like, I would like push on the other tooth and the lower, so like the four big ones in the front, I would just sit there like watching TV and I would push and I'd be like, yeah, that's a little loose. And then I would work on it and until it was like loosened and so

over the course of like maybe 10 days all four of these teeth I pulled only one of them was ready and so my first grade my second grade the beginning of my third grade photos I have no fucking teeth like they were not even

close to needing to come in but like I was just straight up missing teeth like a hockey player for years those guys were always psycho looking terrifying i remember i kept pulling them out and my mom at one point was like taylor these aren't ready to come out and i'm like yes they are i need a dollar bleeding like you're not gonna have blood did you just i mean there's so many foods that are difficult to eat without front teeth oh it was impossible i was i was side of the mouth chewing for years and i also had a bunch of uh uh i broke my nose a couple times when i was

little and i had a fucked up sinus just from being born with a fucked up sinus thing and so i wasn't able to chew with my mouth closed ever and like until i was until i was seven or eight and i broke my nose for the first time and like my dad would yell at me all the time sitting at the table because i would be like sitting there chewing and like I could only breathe through my mouth. My nose didn't work. And so I was like chewing. And then I'd be like in the middle about to swallow. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, my dad.

I'm like, stop chewing with your mouth open. And I'm like looking around at everyone else. And I'm like, how do they have the ability to hold their breath this long? This consistently look like a fucking pastor. You can see all the food in there but i remember at the same time you didn't have front teeth you yeah i didn't have any teeth either and so it was taking so it was taking me longer you're lucky to be alive also a toothless child just gasping i remember that explicit i remember explicitly one evening eating chili which i hated and eating chili and then like chewing and just like even little like two second chews like because chili

doesn't take long to eat like still just eating again i i like i take a bite of like caramel or something i'm you know i'm dancing with the devil at that point you I might die. I might asphyxiate. I remember one time what that reminded me of. My youngest sister, when she was eight years old, seven or eight years old, she got – okay, so I broke her nose with the Bible. That's its own story. I broke her nose. A basketball goal fell on her.

She got double black eyes, and she had broke her arm on her bike all in the span of like a couple weeks so she had a cast two block eyes and one of those nose bridges my mom was going to the bank one day and brought her along with them and while mom was talking the girl the teller behind the counter was like oh um how is the weather? Like, just weird conversation. Mom's like, I don't know. It's kind of weird. She started looking around, and the bank manager had taken my sister over the side and was like, be honest with me.

Did mom do this to you? Oh, my God. Yes, she did. And then, no, what was worse, because I broke her nose, she goes, no, just my brother. And they're like, oh, just your brother hurt you a lot? But I thought about that, because I imagine Taylor in public with no teeth, like... Making his parents look bad. That's how it was.

Struggling to survive. An idiot. struggling to survive an idiot that's i remember after i broke my nose for the first time and they fixed my my my breathing pathways a little bit and like it took until then for me to realize that everyone else was breathing while they were chewing yes they were like everyone else was doing that and it was like oh i i get it it is rude to chew with your mouth open because he thought i could breathe and I was choosing not to. Like being a dick. He thought you were just being an asshole.

Which is understandable. I really don't like when people chew with their mouth open. Something really weird happened to me. I was growing up and my sister is seven years older than me. My brother is nine years older than me. And I would sit down and we'd eat cereal in the morning. And it was one of my favorite things to eat cereal. And they would literally be like shut the fuck up and i thought i literally just thought they were trolling me because they'd be like like can you shut the fuck up and i was like what are

they talking about and that went on like my whole life and then i smoked weed for like the first time like one of the first times when i was like 17 and i was like oh let's have some cereal at my house and my buddy's like yeah and no joke i swear on my life i had cereal i put the thing in my mouth and this is it exactly because i did it for 17 years i remember it i put it on my mouth and i went um but it was so normal to me i never heard it my whole life until i got high and i was having some out-of-body experience and i was like no i'm not and i was like why am i making this noise i was like this is the noise this is the cursed breakfast noise i made my whole life and my brother and sister thought i was the ultimate troll when i because for seven years i'm like i'm not making noise you fucking weirdo and that's crazy i swear to god bro that's crazy you're just like

actively going because i'm trying to breathe while eating and i don't want to breathe out of my nose because maybe as a kid i like got milk in my nose once trying to do that right so i was breathing and i was like chewing and it was like a muscle memory you had literally and i never heard it it was like regular to my brain but it was walked it out and you noticed it bro i'll tell you something really fucking crazy smoking weed and i don't even like sharing this story and i don't even want the fucking pka fan base to know about this but this is actually true and you know what if i you know what i'm 36 years old. My ego is just non-existent anymore. So I could share this story.

And I know someone out there probably has it too. And they'll never admit it. Because I don't even want to share it right now. Also, one of the first times I got high, I took a shit, wiped my ass. And instinctually, the shit-covered toilet paper went up to my face. And I stopped it. Like, what am I doing? And I realized at that moment, I always smelt my shit after the first wipe my entire life and never thought two ways around it.

Like an animal seeing if I was okay, I would wipe my ass and be like, okay, and that's it. I'm 17, and I'm high now. I wipe my ass, and I'm like, what am I doing? I was going to smell that. And then I was like, wait, I always smell it. And I'm having all these memories of being like, what? All of a sudden, it's fucking weird. It was weird.

You don't smell your own shit? Like, bro, look at it. Smell the room. Give me the outside perspective you needed. Smell the room. Let it walk. Who told you you needed who built the room let it walk who told you that that was like the procedure that you smell your shit it's just like animal instinct like like a dog will shit and go and smell it like i would be like what's up today

and i'd be like that smells like i'm not in a good place or something i don't know what i thought like you know it was like a subconscious thing it was literally like a fucking stupid little dog that shit walks over goes why am i smelling this i was about to ask if you ever gleaned any useful information from sniffing your shit like man i need some more protein nothing useful i got information just just every single day you're like yeah every day damn it still stinks the year 10 still stinks just keep yourself humble when i got still i got high when i got high like a lot of things that i did i was like oh my god and this is gonna sound really weird i think i was retarded before i started smoking there were things that i did that i never realized and like i'm sure if i went and got a test right now they'd be like yeah

you're like a little sprinkle of autism or something like that and i'd be like bro i would be a lot more if i wasn't blazing my whole life i used to smell my own shit they'll be like all right really made a huge impact on your life then like yeah the only thing it makes me like double think about is like if i'm really stoned and like i'm hanging out with friends or whatever and they're like, something will happen. They'll be like, what kind of pizza do you want? I'm like, a pepperoni and jalapeno. And then in my head, I'm sitting there two seconds later like, did I say that weird? I think I said that really weird.

I think I said pepperoni and jalapeno. Did I say pepperoni and jalapeno? If I address it and I didn't say it weird then it makes it weird then i look weird and i look super high and they're gonna think i'm weird not want to get high with me anymore yeah i got very comfortable early on being like goodbye now and they're like what and they're like i just i'm getting so high right now that i know in about four minutes i'm gonna be different so i'm saying goodbye to you now because it's not me because i'm going to mars what i do later like that's not me you know though like the best way to like keep yourself from getting too fucked up on weed like when you've taken a bunch of edibles or smoked too much is playing a game doesn't matter

what the game is it could be magic the gathering Gathering. It could be Monopoly. It could be chess. If you're fixated on a game, you don't get too high. Have you ever... I know we've all been in, I think, maybe. We've all been in various games before and into those communities that play them. What games have you played that seemed like marijuana go hand in hand together? Because I'm playing a lot of Tarkov right now,

and it seems like everybody I play with is stone. And it's not just because everybody I know... Really? T like everybody know it's not just that everybody i know smokes weed it's just like right like i'm meeting new people and like i'm meeting like friends of friends and like people who play tarkov and like that the only way i'm meeting me is because they play the game and and we'll be about to start a raid and i'm like all right hang on a minute let me smoke this delta and they'll be like yeah let's all hit it i'm like wait you're saying i'll hear i'll hear like three blow torches fire up like a bubbler there's something bubbling in the background some guy's got a huge volcano bag like everybody's blazed and we're sitting there just doped up as fuck like playing tarkov that's always a little bit

of a bitch feeling when like you know you're like oh all right everybody's getting stoned, okay, and you light your normal bong with flour and you hear a guy go like, eat! Oh my god! He must be a chemistry lab. For the extract. Hell yeah. The real game you want is the one where you're like,

yeah, next round, and then you hear like, Let's do it! Let's go, dude! Let's win! next round and then you hear like I was like, I'm done playing with the weed guys. Team Coke teammates way more useful. Yeah. Team on the crowd. They do that. Yeah, I like it. It usually leads to like a much laid-back, relaxed kind of thing

because that game can get hectic, and I don't need people hyped up and screaming all the time. On the dark top, I can't imagine anything worse than someone being like, bro, why don't we just stand up and run? You know what? Let's just go with guns blazing. On Weed, though, it's so easy to be like, contact, one o'clock

high yeah dude have you been have you been playing tarkov that new voip is so fun i have to i know i knew they got a new update so i gotta get on it because i'm like now this is my chance to get back because that's usually when new people come in yeah and i need to run into new people dude if you if you ever want to grind that game like i've grinded it so much in the last two weeks that I'm real far ahead. Please. I compare myself to streamers. I guess that's not fair, but I've got a lot of money

and I got most of the tasks done. I'm level 38 or something like that. I could give you so much free shit if you want to play. I'll roll with you. I'll roll behind you and just pick up all your garbage. Yeah, you do that. Put it on my body. I'll give you free shit if you want to play and roll with you on a roll behind you just pick up all your garbage yeah you do that on my body i'll give you free shit but the voip is funny because tarkov players have a sense of humor like you can and and you can negotiate you can you can talk shit but more more often than not i'm like hey man do we really have to fight this out i'm good

to do it if you want to but this is all i got we can work together and we can run this shit and most of the time they'll be like yeah let's do this and we'll like party up and kill a third guy that or like i'll just start saying crazy shit and try to make him laugh like i i got in a fight with a streamer last night i didn't know he was streaming but i got to go back and watch the clip but i'm like screaming at him in game um i'm on the rocks above him and i and and he's shooting at me and i've just got a pistol and he's got this crazy kit and I'm screaming I have the high ground give it up

give it up there is an incredible amount of pressure and he's such a fucking try hard that he can't talk back and joke around he's just like fucking blind firing that's a mental victory I played the hunt showdown

and I used to do axe runs. And so it's like it's kind of similar to Tarkov in the way that you drop in there, you do your thing, and then you can escape or you can maybe run into some whatever. And I used to do axe runs. So I'd have the axe and I'd be rolling with another buddy and we would know people are in a building and we'd be outside like hitting the walls with an axe. We only got an axe, motherfucker.'re coming we're coming and like you yell through and like people get they get caught in their head even when i'm like there and i have like my gun and if a guy's like i got the axe i'm coming to get you i'm like i can't lose this one that would be really dumb and you're like all like trying to be extra into it and you're not smooth anymore that is a mental

victory a hundred percent and that's why i miss proximity chat and a lot of console games they took it out because people are are just babies with it yeah but i'm like this game's so toxic this game's so toxic people like yeah and i'm like yeah i love it so rust is toxic it's an interesting like case study maybe like like the mentality of these two communities. They seem very similar, very similar games, but Rust has all these really young kids playing, and Tarkov seems to have almost exclusively

20-year-old guys and up. And there's a lot of 40-year-old guys that play, it seems, like ex-military and stuff like that are into it because it's kind of a simulator to some extent. And I don't know on voip i've never heard anybody curse i've never heard anybody curse once or even say i mean like like you know like come on bring it we're gonna fuck you up like maybe they say something like

that like be competitive like you would like a basketball game or something but never is anyone like fuck you you slur n-word n-word n-word like like that's never happened it's always like i don't get the n-words anymore except in insurgency sandstorm i play that game and i'm like bro this sounds like so calm on ps2 headset the way people sound and no disrespect i don't mean this disrespectfully everyone sounds like kyle and they're all dropping N bombs. And I'm like, yo, I'm like, give that to my girl.

I'm like, listen to this. She's like, that's really ugly. I'm like, I know. I'm like, this is how I grew up.

As people like that, racism's overplayed. I'm like, no, it's not bro. You weren't there. You weren't there in the parties of 2005 games, bro.

You weren't there in the COD4 lobby in 2006. I grew up in the Modern Warfare 2 lobby. The N-bombs blotted out the sun. That's what it was. I pretty much assumed that being racist was baked into pretty much every chat game

because you were just getting called N- word left and right if you did anything your own team would call you the n word on cod 4 because you didn't like cap and be dom fast and it's like you we're all the same team here man yeah there's no reason for you to be nasty i was trying to pick up the easy a cap too you're yelling at me whatever um whenever i first heard that word like like i mentioned earlier my parents like christian i went to christian school so they wouldn't tell me what words i wasn't supposed to know right and then i go yeah then i go well for obvious reasons yeah then i go on modern warfare 2 and i hear all these new colorful language

and i thought that the n-word was similar to like noob like it was just a term yeah because i heard it thrown around so much and kyle yes how old were you that you didn't know what the n-word was i started playing modern warfare 2 when I was 10, I think. That's on the line. When do you really hear the N-word when you're 10? I live in Mississippi, bro. I went to a Christian all the way through middle school. I didn't hear any of that stuff.

My parents are very protective about what I watched. It turned out great. Now I just talk about child murders on the internet. It worked out. I was grade 5. It worked out. I was the 5th grade. That would be about

the same time. I'm from the South. I don't know. Maybe 2, 3 years old. Something like that. There's no telling. You said somebody that sounded like me. They sound a lot worse than me around here. Yeah, bro.

I'm like, it's so common. I have pulled it back a little bit. You've been where I'm from. You've seen it. You've met Gator. Gator is what I used to sound like. But they, yeah, I don't know, man. The Tarkov people seem pretty chill on VoIP.

It's not crazy, and it's been a ton of fun. It's really just fun to yell at people, too. If you run at somebody, you can start screaming at them, and it's actually scary. Yeah. You know what? Also, what I dislike is when I play a game, and I'll

boot up a game. Probably like... I'm trying to think of one of the most recent tactical games what I dislike is when I play a game and I'll like boot up a game, you know, probably like, I'm trying to think of like one of the most recent tactical games I've played, like in the last two years, maybe Valorant or something. And someone will be like, all right, boys, here's the plan. Let's like, you know, double, double everyone rush B. And I'm going to get one guy to go around to A and cause distraction. And someone else is like, whoa, calm down. You fucking loser

we're playing a game and i come in and i'm like no bro you shut the fuck up i'm 36 years old i'm playing this game right now i'm not fucking playing to lose bitch this ain't no casual shit if we got a man here that wants to run the squad you're gonna listen to this man right now run the fucking squad unless you got a better strategy so are we rolling here or what and they're like yeah yes sir i'm like captain no one would ever go ahead the thing is like no one would do that tarkov you know if somebody's ever like all right so we want to i'm gonna hit big red then we're gonna cross over the main bridge we're gonna go low cut across the ruaf hit crack house and head over stronghold sound good everybody everybody's like, that's a real good plan. I like it. Let's watch a right flank. Sounds good. All right, let's go.

Like, nobody would ever be like, what are you, a fucking tryhard? Because, like, if you're playing TARC, we're all trying so goddamn hard. We've been there all day. It's so many hours. You can't just play that game casually, like, pop in for a game. Fuck you.

Let me ask you this, Kyle. I don't play that much Tov just because i have a time lately but all of my friends got who got into it said that they did because of like the realism aspect of like the weapons how fast people go down the fact you can use tactics do you think a lot of like the tarkov crowd is mature because there's kind of this understood like we're all grown up like children who just really want to see guns be cool and like accurate in a video game. It's a lot. I mean grown up children

in the best way. You're not insulting me. We're all grown up children here. Yeah. It's a lot of things. I think that the player base comes from a lot of adult background shit because it is kind of a simulator and it's been lot of things i think i think that it's it's that the the player base uh comes from a lot of adult background shit because it is kind of a simulator and it's been an alpha and then and now beta for so long that i don't know the people who play it and have been playing it for a long time

they know the struggle they they they know the game that's true for us too i don't know there's just something mean immature and nasty about rust and there's something almost like respectful uh in in tarkov between like enemies where like now that voip is there and you can actually hear it play out you can be like hey man like you could like meet a guy you both shoot each other up you're both like now in opposite rooms patching up your bleeds like hey man that was pretty rough yeah dude you scared the fuck out of me. We can play this out a couple different ways, you know. Like, yeah, you could leave. You can talk that shit out.

It's funny. Man, that's pretty wild. Okay. Yeah. And then on the other hand, people will be like, I'm coming in there, and I'm going to fuck you up. I'm going to take all your shit, man, just so you know. I'm going to take all your shit, and if I can't carry it, my boys are going to carry it. And we're going to take all your shit, man. Just so you know, I'm going to take all your shit. And if I can't carry it, my boys are going to carry it. That's when you run into the coke squad.

No negotiations. We decided we are killing. Yeah, killing you. Oh, and you can take prisoners now, too. Because there's the element of the scavs. There's scavs in the game, guys who are like playing who have bullshit no armor and no and you can be like yo man stop right there get your knife out we won't kill you and he's like yo dude just don't kill me i don't i don't want to die he'll do it yeah he can't fight

back against four pmcs so the dude will just like drop his shit and you can make him do stuff and you oh no suck our dicks you can you can make them run into the minefield, right? If you can cross the minefield, you get to live. Oh no. Or you can just be a real piece of shit because it's like a simulator game. You can just shoot them in each kneecap and leave them there. Oh good. People have a war sim for like

a year and already are committing war crimes as fast as possible. Cross the minefield and suck our dicks. Shoot him in the knees, boys. He's like, I'd rather be gone. This game sucks. I've been a POW for months. Every time I log on, I'm getting

beaten with reeds in a cage like John McCain. Can't do the YMCA anymore. You joke about that, but honestly, if there were a system where, like, you could go into a game mode where it was only squads, right? It was always five versus five versus five versus five, maybe five teams of five.

And, like, let's say we, like, we shoot your guy and, like, we break his legs and you leave him behind. We're able to put hands on him to count coup. We could take him prisoner now and i don't mean just in that game like now he can't play tarkov his his his lobby takes place in my stash when he logs in he's in a little cage in my stash you're peeing on him and he's watching me like sort my fucking items and the only way that he gets to play again for like i don't know half an hour an hour it depends on what I did.

Maybe is if his boys like pay a ransom. Like they got it. They got to give me a Bitcoin if they want him back now. Otherwise, you should be able to pee on his wounds in that game. Yeah. Yeah. In Mexico, sending you ransom letters. He's in someone's stash.

We're not paying. letters. He's in someone's stash box right now. First of all, I want the people-skinning cartel of Juarez, Mexico to hear this now. We will not pay. Woody is a strong man. Take whatever you can

dish out. I bet you couldn't skin Woody alive if you tried. You better sharpen that knife. He's on a list now. He's thick skin. You're not going to mail Kyle fingers, you bitch. We're all on a list now.

Oh, yeah, we're getting hit. We just saw a guy going hard against the cartel for no reason, then they fuck him up. Dude that was never even involved in the first place. Never involved. Turns out there actually was a people-skinning cartel of Juarez, Mexico,

and they took our broadcast none too kindly. There's going to be a whatever happened to FBS Russia. No, it'll be Woody. They're getting him. He's the one that's there. He's already there.

I thought you were talking about because you called them out. But yeah, good point. Woody's already been here. They would never. See if you can find out why they call him Woody. Good luck. They wouldn't dare. Woody's family vacation in Mexico.

The cartel takes him away from his family. It's such a sub B plot to that movie. It's like the cartel rolling him away from his family. It's like such a sub B plot to that movie. It's like the cartel rolling up on Woody. I have a certain set of skills. It's mostly talking into a mic online. I will find you. And I will paramotor towards you. Can you imagine Woody building a paramotor

like Iron Man in a cave somewhere? He gets stranded and he's building on a rock. He's running from the car to they're just laughing. Or like that was the plan. That was the plan. At the end, he's like, it's a bicycle.

We can still use it. It's a bicycle, though. Fly away home to the woody story you ever see that movie fly away home about the little girl that rescues the goose I have never seen yeah yeah yeah it's a little girl she rescues like a

canadian goose a canada goose canadian no they're the best of geese they're the meanest geese yeah they'll fuck you up uh she rescues like a canada goose and uh and then you know at the end she's she realizes like this geese wants to fly you know north or whatever but doesn't know how it doesn't have its own flock it's got nobody to teach it to fly so i want to say she like builds herself an airplane or learns how to fly this little

ultralight aircraft. And then she's like, come on, buddy. And she flies with the goose to Canada and back to teach it to make the trip. This is realistic. It happened. It's a true story. That movie sounds like it sucks ass.

There are no stakes. What are the stakes? That a goose doesn't make it north to harass someone in a parking lot? You gotta get in a room with a heater? Hold on. The man who just threatened the cartel saying they couldn't skin Woody alive if they wanted to. He's talking about how heartwarming the Canadian

goose movie is. When it comes to saving Woody's life, no heartwarming. Consistency. I'm a fan of consistency. I'm certainly not making everything up, I believe, as I go along. We don't negotiate with terrorists here. We've made that clear time and time again. We won't deal with the people skinners. I'm the only terrorist they negotiate

with, and I'm not trying to negotiate anything. I'm just chilling. But Goose are not considered terrorists to you. They're on the fly list. I'll be honest. Every time I see somebody like, every time I see a grown ass man tolerate a goose fucking with him for one second, I don't get it.

You've been emasculated. You have been emasculated by a goose, sir. What do you do, Kyle, if a goose comes up? That happens in Canada all the time. I'm ending it right there. I swear to God. What are you going to do? Just shoot the goose? I'm killing it. Look at that long neck.

Rabbit's neck is like a goat's hand, that bitch. Closer to the wall. I saw, I don't remember if it was a guy or a girl, but I saw an internet video where finally they had enough and they were just like, motherfucker, are you serious right now? How about this? And like dragging it by its neck over and like slinging it into a pond. Like they need that treatment every time they

step like that's how you do it i saw an ostrich get its head wedged between like two things before you saw that and it's like get me out of here and it yanked its own head off yeah it was fucking weird yeah it gets its head stuck in like i don't know like a bar between a barn door and the latch or a train door and a latch and something like that. Some sort of metal latchy door. And it's just stuck. But, you know, if it had like turned its head like this and pulled it out, it probably would have came right out. But instead, it's freaking out and it tears its own head off and falls.

Literally yanks it out. What a dumbass. That's great. Imagine not getting headbutting you, though. It just like whips its head at your face. head-butting you though it's like whips its head at your face oh there's that one bird from like maybe new zealand or australia that had that big bony like structure on their head that's wild the um the one it makes chainsaw noises i know the one it's from new zealand uh they can mimic like car alarms and stuff like that like a pterodactyl yeah yeah That's not the shoe bill thing, isn't it? It's a, uh, no,

they can mimic, uh, like any sound they hear. So there's like, uh, these people who go camping, who talk about, they'll hear a chainsaw getting cassowary. That's it.

Yeah. Thank you, Zach. They'll talk about hearing a chainsaw getting closer and then like, Oh no, it's just the velociraptor. Don't worry. And it's running out of the making car noises.

Yeah. Look at this thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. That is, I've seen those on nature shows. no it's just the velociraptor don't worry and it's running out they're making car noises yeah look at this thing oh my god yeah that is i've seen those on nature shows yeah that's a shark that thing does that horn looks like a straight dinosaur horn no joke it really does look like do they do they like uh i'm assuming that's a male and like they bash those those horns together with other males to mate probably. That can't be true. Well, then what's the point? Because that's what rhinos do that shit. Deer do that. Every time the male has a horn

or antlers, it's because they want to impress the lady. Then explain the narwhal. That's like if that bird looked at a picture of me shirtless, they'd be like, that's a female. Let me guess. And the baby sucked those titties. Good shot. What animal is

the most ridiculous? You can't say platypus. That's cheating. What animal did you think was fake when you first heard about it? Because it's like, wait a minute. Do sea bears count? Sea bears? You mean manatees? No, no. I'm talking about sea bears. Are you talking about

tardigrades? That's it. Tardigrade. Yeah. Do those count? I don't know. Is that an animal? Probably a Tasmanian devil for me. I was like, that's a real thing. Yeah. Not anymore. That's the cartoon. I was surprised one of those were real as well. I was surprised the marsupialami

wasn't real. It's the narwhal. Oh, narwhal. Oh, narwhal. Hey, the narwhal legit didn't know those are real until like a year and a half ago. For real.

I always thought that was a mythical creature. Yeah. I thought it was like an internet meme. It's not just my only one. And my only one who thinks that like a narwhal horn would be the coolest fucking thing ever. Like I want a narwhal horn, like on the end of like a cane. Like I bet if I, I feel like a narwhal horn on the end of a staff.

I feel like a narwhal horn is what you would use to spear a demon or something. It looks like it has the magical power. I'm with you, bro. I'm with you. I'm vibing. I could see that being the whole plot to a season of Supernatural, having to get a narwhal horn to stab a demon. I think we should go on a mission in real life and go get one.

I don't know if they're protected or not. I swear there was some group of people who, oh yeah, the Inuits, that's right, they hunted them to near extinction in that area. Josh is about to finish the job. Because they wanted to keep the

task and stuff like that. Find's a shitty one, though. Find me a good one. That one's only a grand. What are we, peasants? What the fuck? What is this? A narwhal horn for ants? The fact that you would even show me a sub $10,000 narwhal horn? You just don't know how we ball around here.

If I'm going to play, I'm going to play. I bet those things are super sharp. I don't think they are at all. You don't know how we ball around here. If I'm going to play, I'm going to play. I bet those things are super sharp. I don't think they are. I'm not sure. I'm looking at pictures and they look fucking sharp. But don't they naturally grow to a point? They do that like curlicue thing. I watched

a thing about it a while back. I think for a long time they didn't know what they did with them. And now I think they just think that they just like touch them together because it feels good. That's the main reason they exist. That's not true. That just like touch them together because it feels good. That's the main reason they exist. That's not true. That's the way it exists because it feels good. Yeah.

That's what scientists say. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they are scientists. I can't remember why those fucking whales have that silly horn, but I want one of those horns. And I want either a cane or a spear or maybe like, man, I just want a lot of tooth. That's actually their canine tooth. Oh my god.

That's a rare double horn. Apparently this is their tooth, by the way. This is a canine tooth. This one's got to be rare. It's pretty cool. Holy shit, that's amazing. That looks really cool. I like how they're both the same length.

Oh, I think maybe I read they're like a sensory organ. Like maybe they can detect something in the water. It says here on Wikipedia it can detect anything that it hits with its arm. They said it's literally a protruding tooth. Wow. So you'll look at my hand. I can detect

this desk. It's like big car bumpers. Just stuck out the back of it wherever it goes. You know what bumpers just yeah that's how it works wherever it goes okay you know you know what an animal i wasn't 100 sure was real was that blob fish where they you know you know that fish where it lives in like a million feet underwater whatever fish and when they when they pull it up the pressure fucks it and it basically like turns it inside out and it has this cartoony face. I was just like, this looks like a practical effects

goblin face. This doesn't look real. And then you see what it looks like before it's been fucked up by pressure. Pretty normal looking. And it's not that weird. Does it kill them to expose them to the low pressure? Yeah, they die from it. When they reel it up, it has a

complete body transformation. Every time you see this picture, just know that is dying a horrible death. Imagine someone reeling you at 100 miles an hour from base camp at Everest to the top and you're just ...

Yeah, exactly. See what a pressure change does? No, it's worse than that. It's like being put in a vacuum. It's like being put in a vacuum because they're used to all that pressure and now none. I hate that this fish came out

looking more human. Yeah, it definitely does. It's like a 10% transformation towards being just an ugly guy. It's got a big nose. Literally. It looks like Peter Griffin now. Poor thing.

Yeah. Whenever I go fishing, like, in the lakes locally, most of the time those fish will die if, like, I'm running a plug, what, 20 feet under? Because they have the air bladder in them that they adjust to how high up and down they want to go so if like a fish is 30 feet down and you rip it to the top and it doesn't change its air bladder whenever you throw it in a live well it can't adjust and it'll just sit there and suffocate after like an hour um jesus so that's why like a lot of the time fisher whenever they pull them up they'll like stab them in the air bladder then throw them back like here,

have fun. Or to put them in the live well for a while. Cause otherwise they'll like, whenever you see on those, like I've never seen a fisherman stab a fish in the air bladder and say, have fun. Okay. Not to have fun.

You do that to throw it in the live well. So that way, whenever you hold it up on camera later, it's not a dead fish. That's been rotting in a cooler for two hours. Okay. But the issue is that they get suffocated because they're not adjusted to the depths.

So that's like 30 feet in a, you know, landlocked lake. Imagine the bottom of the ocean getting ripped up that fast. You think there's any, you think there's anything interesting down there? Like you think maybe there's some intelligent fish people like in that movie The Abyss?

I don't think there's fish people, but I think there's got to be cool sea monsters, creatures, stuff that lives in the deep that we don't know about yet. Well, I was reading National Geographic when I was locked up. It said that they estimate that we have discovered 98% of all species that exist on land and approximately

2-4% of species in water. Yeah but I don't care about all those shrimp that they want me to discover. That's what it would mostly be. We're talking about fucking aliens. There's 80,000 kinds of shrimp down there. You guys understand we've got to fund this. Give us a new whale. He's right though. That's what it largely boils down to

would be technical species differences. I want a monster. I want something enormous. We don't know, bro. It's true because the gravity there or whatever it is, they tend to be bigger apparently.

The deeper sea makes bigger creatures. I just watched a video about it. It's because of their buoyancy. Didn't they not even have 100% evidence for the giant sea squid until relatively recently? Yeah.

There's these big beak shaped bites taken out of this sperm whale's stomach that washed up on the beach. We theorize it could be a giant squid and then they found it, right? Yeah, there's suckers. They would find the scars from where the sperm whales would fight the squids and they'd have these scars on them and it's from the uh the suckers of the giant squid had like a like a like a like a hook in them or something

and uh but but yeah i think they're what a crazy battle and then i think epic um have you ever seen the picture it's actually video of like it's under an oil rig and there's that long like tall creature. Like maybe it's either a – It looks like a squid. A squid or a jellyfish or something. It's some kind of horrific looking thing. It looks a lot like the aliens from – what's the Will Smith movie? Independence Day.

It looks a little bit like them. It's fucked up. Super scary. I've always been afraid of the deep ocean and all the stuff in there. I could if I imagine myself being neck deep in the ocean

and just bobbing up and down, that's a real scary place to be. At night, something huge coming up underneath you. At night or day. I don't know that day is a lot better than night. It's the worst no matter what because you have no chance. Anything that wants to fuck with you

can fuck with you. And you can't get away at all. The same way like if there was a shark, like a nurse shark laying in the middle of a public park, i can do anything i want to that thing run up in our territory i'm spitting on it pissing on it like i can do whatever i want because it's in my domain when we go to their domain yeah they're gonna fuck us up i you know i was thinking like i know the sperm whale and the giant squid they

have their little rivalry i can't imagine that that is like a winning record for the squid. The sperm whales have to be like Alabama up until this year. Yep. Just every year the squids are like, this is the year. We've been drafting steadily. Our defense is solid. Ah, fuck. It's a whale.

We keep forgetting. You know, we should have picked a rival that wasn't the biggest carnivore on Earth. A whale with teeth the size of Brock Lesnar's forearms. Bro, let me tell you what, sperm whales are terrifying. Like, stories about sailors being killed by them? Oh, word. Oh, the sperm whales also,

they can click at such a resonance that it kills you in the water i heard about that yeah like they can like shoot like flick essentially fish as they're going to hunt them yeah where they can like or whatever that noise yeah yeah that's what i mean like it's like it's like an air bubble that like stuns and there you go oh that maybe this isn't interesting to people but this was like a new fact to me within like the last couple years uh and it was mind-blowing to me but maybe not to everyone maybe i'm just an idiot but uh sharks are older than trees yeah that's sure matt always fucked me up i was like what i know that that's like scientific but i it doesn't make sense. It's the word. The family of organisms that became sharks

started evolving before the organisms that became trees did. So sharks were around when there were no trees in the land at all. They were primitive, primitive. I mean, we're talking like hundreds of millions of years ago, pre-proto sharks, but technically sharks existed before trees yes yeah and they i read that fun fact not too long ago as well i was like that's fucking weird and also interesting i think some species of shark they say like haven't significantly evolved in

eons which is like pretty wild that they were perfect they got they got to the peak yeah and it was like okay if any shark is born without these features it's a net negative and that will be bred out like what's the ideal shark exactly this one apparently it exists on the sides of the heads like two rows of teeth you got a good point i had a nature's endorsement that you're you know if you can prove that something hasn't evolved in a million years. They pretty much got it right, it looks like. And like us, we're not even close to peak. What the fuck are pinky toes? That's how I find the corner of the wall at three in the morning.

There's no greater pain. To the people skitters of Juarez, you will not. I dare you to stub Woody's pinky toe Against the wall in the middle of the night For every night for the rest of his life We still won't pay For the next three nights then That's a brutal one

Pinky toes are like narwhal tusks Just like bumpers It's a sensory organ That's where our tusks went Do we need toenails? Do we need those? I grow mine out long so I can run faster in the woods. I do it as a self-defense precaution.

Wait. Huh? He digs into the dirt as he sprints. Are you talking like I'm all fours here? Oh, okay, okay. Okay. In that case, all right, Sabertooth. You're bounding across the plane.

Part of my new workout routine is monkey crawling everywhere. Once I'm outside the viewpoint of the camera, I'm down on all fours and I'm monkey crawling. It's been tremendous. His workout is chasing lone hikers through the woods.

God, I'm strong. Bear crawls have to be the ultimate workout of that fusion of like, it looks so easy and is so strenuous. Like just a little. I remember I did. I went with some trainer for a hockey thing and he was like, bear crawls like there and back, like there and back. And I was like, oh, this is like, this is like what children do goofing around. And it's like, you get five seconds in and you was like bear crawls like there and back like there and back and i was like oh this

is like probably this is like what children do goofing around and it's like you get five seconds in and you're like it's not like that it's not like i gotta tell you something as someone like over the years like you know i've been on training and off training and i've worked with different trainers the one pet peeve i have and i'm not, so I don't know at all the mentality of it, but the one pet peeve I have is when I see like a fatter person and like, you know, I've seen like another YouTuber like posted this once. I've seen like a fat friend of mine post this. They're like, yeah, I'm going to see my trainer. We're here right now.

My first day back, we're going hard. And then I see them doing the crawl. I'm always like, what's wrong with this guy? Why would you make this fat ass go down and do the crawl? Like that is such a hard thing. And you want to have confidence after your first session. You're going to make them like do the fucking crawl like around a tennis court a couple times.

I'm like, I promise you, there is no fat ass in the world that is going to do the crab walk or bear crawl or whatever that first session and then come back the next day it's so good when i would do when i did like that was the warm-up it was an hour of that and it was like 10 different fucking animals i didn't know all that shit existed you mentioned the crabs and the bears and then there's the monkeys there's like eight other animals they mix in there and like i was new to the class so i don't know any of that they're like do the ostrich walk and i'm like your best impression hold on one second harley was talking about like people shouldn't like big people shouldn't do

bear crawl their first exercise kyle i think i specifically remember there being a lot of bear crawls in fps boot camp um i don't know we never did any bear crawls because i didn't know what they were i don't think at the time we did silly stuff right like i felt like we did the opposite we did things that i felt like he couldn't get fps boot camp was when you took on a specific client yeah yeah yeah that was wings yeah okay you but you were doing this all like you didn't have a gym though right yeah that was wings yeah okay you know but you were doing this all like you didn't have a gym though right yeah it was a gumpy suit it's like pulling tires i had like there's pulling tires i had some basic gym equipment but um like like what i we did a lot of like calisthenics and stuff and then we did like funny shit for the camera because we were trying

to like make videos at the same time but it was lots of stuff that I felt like wouldn't hurt his joints and stuff. It sounds stupid, but we did a thing where we had him sit on the floor and there was a rope tied to Jeremy, the guy with the rotten teeth, and wings would do Jeremy pulls. He'd pull the rope and it would drag Jeremy

across the hardwood floor. It was actually a good work. By the time he was done, Jeremy pulls are tough now that your fuckability has gone up like uh like four times over you know what i'm talking about uh would you if you would you be able to re-approach that and like do it it would like do you have like i'm sure you don't think about it do you think you fuck wings this time yeah he would not turn me down he'd be into it would you be able to do it this time now like you got a new a new mentality that you'd be able to tap into them with our strategies on approach i think with somebody that's that big though it's it it'd probably

be the same thing because like maybe the diet would be a little bit different because they're i don't know like they like it could i've learned a lot there but as far as what we were doing i do the same shit i think because the things that were silly were meant to be silly we both knew they were silly they were for people to laugh at and enjoy the videos and the things that like we did that worked they just worked things like walking and like things like just staying active and adding a little bit of caffeine not taking a nap in the middle of the day and just not eating ice cream you know like shit like that when you're 450 pounds the the life decisions that fit that get you to 300 are very tiny little things literally absolutely it's like yeah i had to cut out marshmallow floof you know how it is get you to 300 are very tiny little things. Literally. Absolutely.

It's like, yeah, I had to cut out marshmallow floof. You know how it is. You lose a little weight by sleeping in and delaying breakfast. Yeah. When you're that big, you could do anything and lose 12 pounds in two days, like all the time. You literally can't. Take 18 more steps. Most dudes out there who are overweight if

you just cut alcohol out and start smoking weed you'd be good like like you would be like you'd be you wouldn't be fat anymore you wouldn't have a big bell i know there's a fat ass alcoholic listening right now there's dozens oh there's dozens listen to this podcast right now it's so much alcohol is so many calories. And if you drink a lot, it's one thing if you're having a few drinks one night a week. If you just go out and get drunk one night, that's a big meal.

But there are a lot of people who drink every night, all night long. Well, that's an insane amount of calories. Every day, all night long. That's like chain-eating sandwiches. I remember when we played COD back in the day, and there'd be a lot of guys who would just drink beer all night long it's just like that's like chain eating sandwiches i remember like when we played back in the day and like there'd be a lot of guys who would just drink beer all night like they'd start drinking beer at 8 p.m and they wouldn't finish until 1 a.m and they'd pass out

that's like 30 beers or something like that i was like me at 23 i'd be like oh like i'm staying home it's the weekend i'm literally gonna drink while gaming yeah like i love that bro i swear to god i got better as the night went on like there was like a window where you drink you drink you drink and then there's this like time like right before you're gonna get too drunk where you're like i feel like you were in tune with the game like you had it like you were good yeah you got like the perfect mix and you're no hesitant you're a little bit more bold with your approach. You're a little more intuitive with your movements off the rush, and then you go another drink past that. You're missing

your shots, getting killed. The collapse has begun. I have a buddy that always snorted lines and he'd be like, this is focus factor. This is focus factor, and the kids can't keep up with this. They're not going to be able to handle me. They're out there. What are they doing? They're 14 years old. their mom bought them the xbox i just banged

up four lines complete focus factor this game is like slow-mo to me it's the thing is these kids don't have access to the amount of cocaine i have zero death sure they're all on adderall but if i die in the game i die in real life. 90 kills, no deaths. So before we jump to the next thing, we've got to hear from my wonderful sponsor real quick, ExpressVPN. Admit it, you think that cybercrime is something that happens to other people. You may think that no one wants your data or that hackers can't grab your passwords or credit card details,

but you'd be wrong. Stealing data from unsuspecting people on public Wi-Fi is one of the simplest and cheapest ways for hackers to make money. When you leave your internet connection unencrypted, you might as well be writing your passwords and credit card numbers on a huge billboard for the rest of the world to see. That's why we decided to take action, which is why we are recommending you get ExpressVPN

to protect yourself from cyber criminals. ExpressVPN secures and anonymizes your internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public IP address. ExpressVPN has easy to use apps that run seamlessly in the background of your computer, phone or tablet. Turning on ExpressVPN takes only a single click, just one click. Using ExpressVPN, I can safely surf on public Wi public wifi without being snooped on or having my personal data stolen for less than seven bucks a month. You can get the same express VPN protection that I have. Express VPN is the number one rated VPN service by tech radar,

and it comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. So nothing to lose here, protect your online activity today and find out how you can get three months free at express VPNpn.com. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com. For three months free with a one-year package. Visit expressvpn.com. To learn more.

Three months free with a one-year package. So check that out. Keep yourself safe online. Easy to use. Activates with a single click. That link is below. ExpressVPN. This episode is also brought to you as as always, by Lock & Load.

Lock & Load. We don't have reads for that, and I'm at a hotel in Minnesota, so I don't have the bottle right now. Kyle probably does. Tell him to put it up on screen. This is your product, the Lock & Load? Yeah, yeah. Kyle, can you hold up the Lock and Load bottle? We're finishing up ads

here. So be sure to go to GorillaMind.com. Use code PKA. You can get our Lock and Load cum pills, and you can buy anything else that you want on his site. He has the tippity-top. Lots of people talking about it. The best

products. The most high quality. And it's fantastic. The best. Lots of people. Go it the best products the most high quality and it's fantastic the best lots of people go there code pka 20 off and be sure to buy our cum pills everyone's raving about it women the world over have have learned to enjoy a huge load they didn't know they wanted it but now they all do so don't be the last guy without without cum pills on your block uh so go buy those thank you don't take more than nine Thank you. Don't take more than nine a day. Seriously. Don't take more than nine a day. Take nine a day, just like

it says. Follow the bottle for true results. It's not nine at the same time. It's a reasonable, normal five in the morning, four at night. For the last time, we're not going to pay for that eye patch for your girlfriend. We're not liable. We said nine. We meant nine.

Follow the instructions. You got to patch the ceiling yourself. Eye patches are kind of if it weren't for the depth perception thing, having an eye patch would look cool. Yeah, you know that guy that's like a Fox News correspondent or whatever. They always bring on who's got like the

monocle eye patch. It just sits there with no strap. Is that like the congressman guy? I don't know who you're talking about. No, not that Crenshaw guy who was like some military guy who got his eye lost. I know the one you're talking about. Yeah, he wears an eyepatch. He looks like a

fucking Bond villain or something. I almost want to lose my eye. I'm like, I wish the cancer would come back. The eye patch is sick. It's awesome. You know what's funny about that whole eye patch? Have you heard the supposed reason that pirates would wear

eye patches? For the night vision. Okay, yeah. The idea behind it is that they had two working eyes. You put the eye patch down and then this eye gets used to darkness while this one's used up top. If you ever go below deck, which is an immediate transition from sunlight to pitch black, you just open the eye patch and you can automatically see in the dark.

You don't have to see what you want to pitch up. Interesting. All right. Let me, let me tell you i do a lot of um this is a little bit different because of the tech but i do a lot of walking at night with night vision on like the electronic stuff and for a while i used a pvs 14 which is just like the single monocle over one eye and i'd always been told like oh yeah well that's the best way to do it because then you've got this one eye that's looking through electronics and the other one's used to the darkness.

You can just flip that up and be good to go. So I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever. I'm walking around for like an hour. I'm like, this is pretty cool. I flipped the PBS up and immediately everything is blood red. The moment I quit looking through that green, my vision completely disappeared. It was like someone poured red paint over my eyes and i started freaking out i was like whoa what's going on my friend's like oh

he's doing the pirate thing what do you mean the pirate thing he's like yeah that doesn't work that's all a bunch of bs how'd you how'd you get into just walking around with night vision on it's cool are you looking for bigfoot to be honest yeah bigfoot we can call that uh the next girlfriend is it because i need hopefully not i mean you the uh the logo of my channel the deer skull with the uh rnvgs on it isn't just for show i do like use night vision and shoot at night and stuff like that. It's a lot of fun. But I just like shooting at night.

I go on hikes at night. It's a lot of fun. It's really cool to be out there, like in the middle of the woods, like in the darkness, you flip it up. It's pitch black. You're like a mile from a road and then just put it back down.

And you are like in the woods with everything else. It's, it's a lot. Have you ever been doing, this is totally different, but have you ever been like researching a conspiracy or something wild for a video and you're like after a few hours days whatever you're like oh this is getting a little too real and wild not this one let's find a different one what are some examples of that? If you, so the, the one that really like did me in was I went really down all the Epstein

stuff when that happened. Yes. Yeah. And this, this was before, like I did the YouTube stuff. I was just like, is it,

is it really that bad? And then I remember like getting legitimately depressed. I got so into that. I got so into looking where money was going. I got so into that. I got so into looking where money was going. I got so into who owned these places, who like went where I just got depressed. Cause I'm like, man,

it really is. Everyone isn't like, like people joke about like, Oh, the black pill. I remember being like, wow, everyone is evil everywhere.

That is so sad. I remember like having to step away from that and just kind of take a moment to like reevaluate myself. Yeah. But like I've come to peace with it now. Like, you know, my worth isn't reliant on those who have greater faculty or power above me or whatever. But man, I tell you what, that was sad. That would be the big one. There's been some other minor ones that I've like sort of like dabbled in. And I'm like, I don't want to know how much more of this I want to find out about. One of them was the Benghazi stuff.

I got really into that more recently, like in the past year. And I remember researching that and being like this is depressing yeah because it's not like i don't come up with the stuff like aha everyone who's in charge of us is evil people whatever and be like i figured it out it's just like well dang it you're just selling it like it was yeah like ah man uh whatever you're just like i didn't know there were this many pedophiles pretty much yeah yeah i guess i'm gonna go walk in the woods now that is funny like i'll be right like when it when it first came out people were like right so there's just a bunch of pedophiles in positions of power all over the world and then you look into it and it's like wow there are pedophiles in positions of power all over the world i heard i heard that that was used to control each other it was like that it was oh um i mean i mean you would probably have heard this at some point or something but it was used as a

means to control each other like you are in the circle of trust because we have all committed this heinous disgusting act and so it is used as a means of controlling each other and and committing to the to the the the team because you're all disgusting people yeah yeah mutual blackmail it's like if we go down you're coming with us i remember um where i'm originally i live in tennessee now but i'm originally from like eastern kentucky like in the coal country of it and uh there's a lot of gangs around like before my time mainly but like during my dad's time and all that uh the gangs or the mount mafias they were called real popular whenever they were breaking up picket lines and there

were shootouts everywhere and uh part of the deal was whenever there were new initiates they did a lot of stuff like blew up bridges blew up coal trucks stuff like that um if they were to ever like shoot something or blow it up they would find some way for everyone's hand to be on it like if you show up you are going to shoot the vehicle or you're going to uh have some part in place in it because the first time you have to be like mutual blackmail and that just scales up so like for a bunch of guys in the mountain it's shooting up a coal truck for like you know hillary clinton it's eating a baby it just it's just natural yeah it's wild it's the world is like like i'm not nearly as into your timeline but like it gets depressing when

you like look into some stuff where it's like oh man people are genuinely very cruel to one another and that makes me sad i remember i used to be like like in high school i was uh uh i think i got like most likely to be present some superlative and i was on a bunch of debate teams and stuff like that and i was like really into politics and teams and stuff like that. And I was like really into politics. And then that happened. And I just like, I was like, I'd never want to look at someone in a suit ever again.

It really did poison me to a point of bitterness for a while. Like I said, I'm better now, but yeah, you, you asked like, what was the one that hit too deep? That one really hit too deep.

Yeah. It makes sense. That's a, that's a good answer. I was expecting something like that, like where you just get, it's like, what was the one that hit too deep? That one really hit too deep. It makes sense. That's a good answer. I was expecting something like that, like where you just get, it's like you stare too long into the abyss and it begins to stare back into you.

You spend all this time obsessing about and reading about something that is horrific. And then you start to be like, man, little bits of my soul are like flaking off as I'm reading this. I'm becoming actively more cynical by engaging with it. There's also this, not just with

that specifically, but with a lot of grander conspiracy, stuff like the MLK assassination or JFK or whatever, there's this sense of hopelessness or just inability of action. Like, oh, what am I going to do? Catch these guys or no matter how many people I tell,

it's not going to get better, right? Yeah. And that leads to a sort of, I guess it can lead to nihilism if someone sits in it for too long. But like I said, it's just got to be something that you kind of recognize. It doesn't define you just because it's happening and you can't do anything about it uh you're not your inactions uh but yeah i had literally i had an entire soul searching thing

over the epstein stuff are you are you still like following any of the glaine stuff uh as that was going on yeah um i've got my own theories about all that. I don't. It's kind of like a train wreck, but the train wreck's halfway done. Like the front car hit and everything crashed. And it's not like, well, I hope the back of the train will stop doing that. No, it's just going to keep piling up over and over. will stop doing that no it's just gonna keep piling up over and over um i i kept up with it but not as much as i did originally because like i said you can't or at least i can't super invest my time like man i hope justice is served because i know the answer and it's just gonna make me sad

again yeah it's not gonna be served and every it's funny. At first, so many people were like, oh, this isn't happening. There's no pedophile island. And then now some of those same people are like, we got them. The one, the two people on earth who were doing this, we got them. Don't worry,

guys. This was a one-off. It's never going to happen again. It's certainly not happening with other individuals as we speak right now we got them everyone mission accomplished it's like like i don't know yeah it's literally like like bush on that on that fucking destroyer well there were that thing we said was a conspiracy lie for years was true thankfully the only two individuals globally involved in this have been caught. One of them killing himself when a camera misfired and a bunch of people who didn't work

there found their way into his fucking cell. What if that's the way they said he died? That his camera, the camera that was recording him, exploded and killed him. That'd be a little bit more obvious. He was electrocuted by the camera. Oh, did we have that on film? Well, think about that one.

Why are you asking such questions? Alright. The conspiracy would be a little more obvious. He was a terrible person at hanging himself. Hanging himself and bruising and breaking that many ribs. I mean, what, had he never

done it before? Well, the guy who ended up doing it, at least according to McAfee, before he also COD-o'd himself. Okay. That guy was a... Hold on, hold on, hold on. I got an okay from Kyle. Go ahead.

What was that? Well, I mean, all right, McAfee was a... He was on the show, on our show. No, no, no. He's a goop. I didn't know that he was on the show. That's interesting. No, I'm not saying that he was murdered.

I do think that he did commit suicide. He did, yeah, yeah. I wasn't being sarcastic on that one. I literally meant he did CO'd up himself. I'm talking about the guy that McAfee tweeted and was like, this is the guy in the jail, which he was right. The dude who was a former cop in New York

was the one who was, you remember how Epstein was like almost strangled a week before he died. Yeah. So that guy did get like moved and separated and all that, but then they kept him in the same jail and like on the same cell block or whatever. And he was a couple of cells down whenever the cameras went out and like the room that Epstein died in

was previously that guy's room so it's like oh of course it's gonna have dna and fingerprints and you know blood and whatever all over the place um yeah just i went down the rabbit hole stuff like that it really jesus it hurt a lot it's interesting kyle are you okay you look that i don't know the whole thing is a lot to take in like the Epstein thing in particular is weird I don't know if it's as crazy as we think though like how old were those girls

like that's always something like when I think of like the global cabal of pedophiles I don't think about guys who are like sneaking away from their wives to meet a 15 year old girl, which I think is like what the Epstein stuff was like. There's a bunch of stuff.

We don't know the extent of the Epstein stuff. I'm sure there was a gamut of underages. It really seems like what Epstein was into and what like all I've heard, everything I've heard, it seems like they were all like kind of borderline, like 15, because 16 is like age of 10. It's actually technically not pedophilia.

That's called hebophilia, if I'm not mistaken, which is like an attraction to young teenagers. Yeah, yeah. We've clarified that before. There's no way to bring up the term hebophilia without sounding like a pedophile. Yeah. Literally, that's all I'm thinking right now is this entire conversation goes down one one path and that path makes us all look like pedophiles. Oh, actually, the N-word just means noob. We're taking it back.

Yeah. We're taking it back. Oh, my God. We're taking it back. I only know it because of a history of incarceration. That's it. We're studying the law. We get to decide what it means. Not you. That's it. It's our word. We're studying the law. We get to decide what it means.

Not you. That's so funny. What if you redefined horrific slurs in the dictionary and now you're able to use them willy-nilly? I think that people would get mad at you. I think that people would say it's more about how it's perceived.

They would probably say something to the effect of like, y'all is not really a word, but we all know what it means. They say that, but engineers talk about dykes all the time. They don't take words away. That's a good point. That's a double entendre in that case. We can take words back.

I'm going to start work on this. Unless for some reason that name descended from the dam. I feel like we have enough words. We don't need to take any more back. We should give some away, actually. There's a couple I'd like. We have too many words. Let's get rid of like a third one.

A couple I'd like. Keep a few of them. There is one that I like, and I actually did just take it back. And I took it back. It's the R word. Retard? R-A word. Yeah, exactly.

I already even said it on this podcast. I did a brand deal thing and i lost it because no i lost it because i said r word oh okay i literally didn't even say retard no i said r word oh wow and i was like well one i worked with special needs people my whole life yeah literally like that's what i did volunteer work after school every thursday six to nine i i have like friends that are legit mentally challenged growing up we absolutely and i identify i identify as partially retarded so if i'm like yeah i'm retarded and then someone's like yo don't i'm like bro yo i'm retarded i've known my shit till i was 18 years old you don't tell me to not say that word that is mine that's all word you hit him with that 2022 you hit him with the

2022 identify as there's no i actually take a i'm so retarded i take offense to taylor doing that voice we don't all sound like that so i don't appreciate you doing that voice that is actually bad that is bad representation of it is well i'm just doing nathan from south park so blame them they're known for political correctness they're good good place to learn our lessons about social etiquette so of course i think that word that word is so different from what it is i don't think that should be an offensive word really like when i say that word i'm not invoking retarded i'm not invoking like any particular person i'm talking about an act or a thing you know what i mean and

like of course and like if you're picking the a person you're not picking someone with true mental disabilities i'll be like kyle you're such a retard but like none of us would ever say that to someone who had genuine mental problems you know of course not that's true of a lot of words though i was about to say i'm not sure that that's really considered a cop out because if you think about the n-word i know plenty of people me being from mississippi that dropped that willy-nilly but they would never say it to a black dude it doesn't mean they don't have some intention behind it necessarily. That's true, but that's almost like a tree falling in the forest kind of thing.

Yeah, in Alabama. I know a guy who heard it before in Alabama. Tell me more about your many connections, sir. You're well hooked up down there. No, everybody here is awful. I'm really trying to get out of Georgia soon. Alabama should feel bad because they are bad, but even being – I'm in south of Atlanta,

and that's too close to Alabama. I'm so glad we beat them in football. It's been a wonderful year. He looks right at the camera and says it. We're still early in January, but, man, this has been a great, great year already. I've been having a great time. I started my new fitness

thing. I'm just having so much fun at Tarkov. I've made some new friends, and the weather's been awesome. It's just been a real good fucking month. Woody's gone. Don't have to deal with him. You guys think he's a nice guy. Pre and post show show he's a real

screaming and always with the racism i can't take it never for a second i never thought woody was a nice guy and whenever he is acting nice i'm like you fucking faker he calls me you faker he calls me a lazy mexican all the. He doesn't make sense. That is kind of racist. My grandfather's Honduran, but you can't do that. Not by blood. That's even more racist. Yeah, yeah. It's like, come on. That makes it extra racist.

You know the cartel's listening right now. He called me a mudblood once, unironically. I don't even know what he was referring to. Unironically. Yeah, I don't know. I can't complain about that. I got a Harry Potter one sitting right here on the side of my desk, so I'm not...

I can't get mad at him for calling you a mudblood in earnest. I guess not. Is there going to be any more good Harry Potter content? Aren't they making a movie right now? Nah, the game. I'm not even a big Harry Potter fan, but that game coming out, I will absolutely... I will fuck with that.

I can't wait for a VR game to come out. You have to do the wand movements right and shit. That would be so sick. You know what the worst part's gonna be? They're gonna have some shitty voice recognition. You're gonna be like, Avada Kedavra! And it's gonna be like, did you mean... Lumos. Yeah. Calling mom.

No, fuck. You're gonna be a fucking piece of shit. Yeah. It lights up like Lumos. Yeah, yeah. You go to do aloha more to unlock a door and kill your homie it's gonna be great you guys do you guys have vr headsets by the way yeah i don't i got a question future the real sweet kids keep showing up in my streams i'm gonna get one in like a month or two i didn't knew when i got an old one uh i got like an old vibe but uh but i've been thinking about getting a new one because I've got a lot of, like the place I'm about to go to,

I think I'm going to have like a lot of space to like set one up. I recommend the Quest 2 to everyone, even people listening. Quest 2 is like, I have a Valve Index. It's great. It does better than the Quest 2,

but it has like a wire and you hook it up to a computer. The Quest 2, like I put it on and you can like detect your hands. So your hands are the controller and it's chilling on your head it's so light and i go into big screen with my friends all the time i have like 10 friends with vr and we watch movies in the movie theater together like at least once

a week and a lot of the games i play it on are sick and i was like ps4 to ps5 wasn't that leap in technology that we remember from like super nintendo to n64 right but if you get a quest 2 and you put it on you will literally be like oh this is like that next gen in game no way maybe some people think it's not there enough but i do i personally think it has reached a point where that much of a leap yeah all right i'm looking at it right now um it says starting at 300 us dollars what's the good one cost is that the quest 2 yeah that's that's it and get get the starting one don't get the one with more hard drive space there's no point i've downloaded literally like 50 games that's it now the quest 2 isn't as good as the valve, but the wireless aspect just blows it out of the water.

All right, so let me ask you, so I'm completely ignorant. Like I said, I've got the Vive. It plugs directly into my PC or maybe into my GPU even. How does this work if it's wireless? This is onboard hardware powering this for $300? And the sensors. It's literally the best deal. Like people were looking for ps5s i was like

you can get an all right let me ask you this do i want the elite strap with battery and carrying case it says i can go all in with enhanced comfort and battery life the ergonomic strap sick i bought i bought just the regular and the 128 i think think that's the big one. You can get the 64, right? Isn't there a 60? Oh, it is 128. Okay, yeah, get that one then. That's the one. And I literally, I bought a headset strap

because you see how it's just like that white thing? Yeah. I bought like a rubber piece on top. It was like literally like $12 on Amazon with like a turning notch in the back, a la Valve Index. The controllers are, are, are great. They just do exactly what they're supposed to do.

Like, if you're looking at that and you're like, what's the catch that's so cheap, there's no catch. It's actually like a really pretty cheap, uh, way to get VR. And it is,

it is fun. And I like playing, I like there's games on it, like a onward, which is kind of like, uh, like, uh, like insurgency basically. like there's games on it like uh onward which is kind of like uh like uh like insurgency basically and there's population one which is a battle royale that i play with my friends um it's really great it's really great and i i download movies to it to watch and games and i've never come close to filling up the hard drive space and if you're

looking at and you're like yeah i got 400 i could drop right now on it like what's the like that is that is it like that's it right there you're good to go i you're like, yeah, I got 400. I could drop right now on it. Like, that is it. Like, that's it right there. You're good to go. I'm a little out of the loop with technology. When you say hard drive space, the games save to the actual Oculus Rift? Yeah, they save on it. And I have my email attached to it. So I go to my email and I'll download movies on it.

And then you can open up the movies in big screen mode which is like a that's sick and a theater it is super super super sick and um just i gotta say a list you can reference it right here just in case you do get one um and because i got sick in vr when i first started and i learned a lot of tricks to not get sick in vr um one of them is having a carpet a different carpet on your feet so you know where you are in your house just so you know your location having a fan in front of you blowing on you actually tricks your body into the locomotion sense because your body will feel the wind so when you're moving towards the fan because sometimes in the game moving without thinking you're moving used to make me sick.

And you have to get your VR leg. Some people put it on and they're fine. Your brain perceives motion and your body doesn't. Yeah, I ordered it. I'll see what it looks like when it gets here. At a boy. Super hot. Super hot is fun.

Beat Saber is fun. Both those games. You don't have to move around the room, so it won't make you sick. No Man's Sky. If you hook it up to the computer, you can hook the Oculus Quest up to the room so it won't make you sick no man's sky if you hook it up to the computer you can hook the oculus quest up to the computer you play a game like no man's sky that was a fucking trip cool that game in vr is like the best i have my chair next to me so i'll be like on the planet doing the shit and then i get into my ship and i like

sit down on my chair with like the controls and it's just a different feeling whenever i got the vibe whenever i got the Vive, I bought every VR game that existed and so many of them were like those early access things where it's like, if you just give us, please, three US American dollars. Anything we ever make in the future is yours

for free. I'm looking forward to plugging this thing in and being like, what did y'all come up with? What did y'all come up with? What do I get for free now? Now you're on Facebook. You need a Facebook profile for this one. I should have told you that before you...

I was going to say, that's the biggest downside about it, is you need a Facebook profile. Canceled. I actually respect that. I think that's the best reason to not buy one. I'm here for video games. You can't make me do that. That's weird, man.

Do most of your guys' friends even use Facebook anymore? No. I don't know because I don't know anybody who talks about it. I worked for Facebook for three years. I've never had a Facebook account. Do you use it every day or anything harley or no just to stream games like i don't go on like my status and i'm like whoa today on the bus i met this guy or anything like that i'm like i just like click it open i

like uh you know i have a bunch of groups there because i built a fan base for three years like epic meal time on facebook outperformed YouTube for like the last three years. You know, the YouTube views have been down. Facebook does well. We have two different pages for Epic Meal Time and Epic Meal Time show. We every day like we upload it. We have like people that are taking old videos and cutting them up and putting them up in like some fucking retarded Facebook format where it's like a square. It's like, who made it's like who made this

and we uploaded it we also edited it to be like who made that with like emojis but Facebook is fucking silly Facebook is so silly like my mom writes a status on Facebook and I'll call her up and I'll be like just delete it that's so dumb

why are you even telling everybody thinks everybody gives stuff to people yeah it's very old Facebook is very boomer very i've thought about this i've thought about this multiple times because you know we all of us work online and you know for our jobs once i'm done once the podcast is over once i'm no longer doing any streaming ever again like when i'm done with my online period of my life like career i'm i'm done with social media i'm i'm i'm over i'm over the whole i'm never i'm never logging on to social media ever again bro is that how you think it works no bitch you're on the grid for life now motherfucker no i mean i'm not gonna use no no they're gonna get you

said oh you're on the grid. You don't get that forever. Forever. That subreddit is going to be calling your name, putting pictures up of you. You're going to be out at fucking Cracker Barrel and RSK boys are going to snap pics of you and upload that to a subreddit for the rest of your life. Dude, that's what they're going to do. You are on the grid hard. they're gonna do you are on the grid hard every once in a while like you know when someone like recognizes you and you're like not looking good this happened like i guess two years ago now i was driving around uh in you know not really near my house but in the area of my house and

i was feeling particularly fat that day. And I, I passed, I passed, I passed a pizza hut and I was like, I've never just walked into a pizza hut and gotten the pizza for myself at noon. And, but I did, I was doing errands and I'm like,

you went to the bank, you deserve this. It's like, I stopped and I, and I walk in and there's one guy there. Cause it's noon on Tuesday at Pizza Hut. And I'm like, meat lovers, medium meat lovers for me and my friends. And the guy who's taking my order is like, no, Taylor.

I can't think of a better place to get you. He was like, are you on? He's like, are you? Are you? This is weird. Are you on PKA? And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like in sweatpants.

I'm feeling fat. I'm looking bad. And he's like, no, I love that show, man. It's such a good show. I knew you'd walk in here eventually. I knew it. What does that mean? We got these hot and readies in here.

What are you trying to say? Five miles away. How can you resist? I hot and readies in here. What are you trying to say? Five miles away. How can you resist? I knew you'd come in here eventually. And that was shade. And there's no one else in there. And so like I ask, and I should have just said like medium pepperoni

because they got those on lock. I could have just taken one and been out of there. But he's like, all right, give me like 15 minutes and I'll have your pizza. And then there's a little stool and I just sit on the stool and we're like looking at each other. And he's like,

so like, what's, what do you like? He's a friend of mine. We do the show together. What's Kyle like? You know, he,

he used to like guns and yeah, you can, he likes weed and he did have some guns. Similar to being on the show. Obviously, we're all different versions of ourselves. We're joking around. Yeah, well, I like the show. Here's your meat lovers for you and your friend.

For what it's worth, man, it's better than me in my hometown. When I was out the first time, before I violated and went back, I got a job through a mutual, like my mom's friend, at a little pizza joint on the square in my hometown where I grew up, you know, and I had this very well publicized case that, you know, everybody knows. I just got out of prison for pranking, you know, the local school and shit. And I'm in there just, you know, making these pizzas and trying to catch up. And these girls are in here drunk as shit, breathing this alcohol in my face, being Ole Miss girls. And I just, I don't know that many college towns but bro all miss people suck and

they and there's there's these drunk dudes and girls in there like she's in here do you guys have any of that extra cheese like the the white kind and like the shakers and i'm over here like trying to balance four of these fucking pizzas coming out and she doesn't know what parmesan cheese is right that's what she was talking about. It was Parmesan. That's what she was talking about. It was Parmesan. What a fucking retard. The worst part is that those bitches had grabbed that shit and walked out. So the reason they could never find the Parmesan is because it was on this big steel loop hooked to the edge of the counter so that they could only go like three feet.

And like four times a night, people would be clothesline trying to steal that shit because they'd be so drunk. But anyways, I'm in there with this line going out the door, walking out because it's on the square the hip hip party spot in the college town and shit you know and all of a sudden somebody's like oh hey josh and i'm like oh this is gonna be good i was dreading this part i turn around it's a dude that i grew up with a dude that i got in a fight with his brother in middle school was pretty much the main reason i even know this guy is because me and his brother got into it his brother's actually uh like a gold medal gold medalist i think in the olympics now he's an olympian but anyways uh he punched me in the face when we were in middle school you did that you drove him to do that by the way apparently

so man i guess i gave him that drive but um i turned around man he's this dude that i went to school with the standard with a girl you know and he's smiling all big and i didn't really recognize him because he's got a beard and i can't grow a fucking beard so everybody i went to middle and high school with all has beards now and shit and i'm not with the program and i was just like hey uh and he said his name and i'm like of course i should know this dude i literally have known him since like second grade you know we're shooting the shit and all that he's like yeah what have you been up to man and there was just this awkward silence and i was like um yeah you know i i went away for a little while and he was like oh yeah i forgot about that and that's kind of what i was always expecting i i went away for a little while and he was like oh yeah i forgot about that and

that's kind of what i was always expecting when i went home like if somebody some motherfucker was gonna pretend they know i was gonna be like don't do that bro don't do that you know what the fuck happened man you don't have to do that i went to prison bro we can talk about it man i can't see i definitely everyone you knew wasn't that clued into it so i could definitely see one of your friends being like it's been years what's new and it's like yeah uh prison prison that's the main thing is the people that didn't write me and shit like people that were my best friends quote unquote you know i was like oh yeah they're gonna be totally like what happened bro you just disappeared one day and i was just dude don't don't don't even bother with that i'm not the only one that doesn't know josh's prison story

i didn't know it, but I read it like a second ago. I'll do my own research. Josh has been on the show and it has many very, very enthralling tales. Kyle, dog! Kyle! Every time I start thinking me and Kyle are friends, bro,

did you hear what he said? I said you're a terrorist. I read the article. I mean, he's right, but damn. He's only a terrorist i read the article only only i mean he's right but damn he's only a terrorist if we want to get technical on paper on paper i'm a terrorist i'm not really i'm not actually there are guys in guantanamo bay who aren't as much of a terrorist as you were probably so though to be honest there are probably dudes in there that did less than i did and i didn't hardly do shit but we got a couple in there that probably were just selling dates on the street, but they looked like a guy also with a beard.

They were charged with being Arab in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is that Muhammad? Is that this guy? That's him. Hey, are you Muhammad? Yeah. We got him. Wait, but all 11 of us are named Muhammad.mad no we got one we got one we got him

we got the entire black angels we got them all we've got them all sir yes muhammad muhammad they're all admitting it they're lining up they all confess they all gave us a thumbs up but yeah uh to answer your question isaiah yes josh went to prison for uh runescape related threats i guess you would say yeah i talked i talked really really bad shit on a video game like what i said was gnarly yeah and i got raided by the fbi when i was 19 i'm 29 now i was 19 and it was in 2012 and i uh i ended up going to the feds for a good five piece the first time then i went back for a year for smoking some weed and violated my probation and went right back to the hoosk that's like the funniest part of your story is you go away for five years and then like seven months later you're like nah i'll just smoke weed i

barely remember what prison was like then you're back in for it immediately bro i was actually on the streets like okay if you count ankle bracelet from the halfway house halfway house time and rehab time if you if you don't include that i was out for like 40 days or something like that before my po was like hey i'm gonna need you to come to the federal building at specifically nine o'clock in the morning and i was like yeah i'm going back that just it's so funny that you're like you you felt like that because i know from being a good friend of kyle's and hearing about that whole process when kyle was on probation he was like what well yeah i guess i could technically have a couple beers but i'm not touching that shit i'm not touching alcohol are you gonna sneak some weed

no what are you crazy no i'm gonna stay sober for two straight years i'm never going back to j and so like seeing kyle's resolute like not once wavering and then you like five years ten times as much time even more than that is that he spent in there and you're like yeah i want to get stoned i yeeted it bro and i have to say that i'm not trying to make excuses or anything man but that's probably a part of it because i came out fucking confused dude people were speaking differently and it was way different than i thought you can't get it through a tv or magazine you can't get cultural changes like that yeah and i just came out cultural changes i'm confused dude and i just went back to note doing what i did best man i'm not proud of it it's not a smart thing to do you know but i was like i got back to drinking and smoking you know when you're you know when your

friend group like suddenly adop adopts a new word? Yeah. Like an inside joke that becomes a thing? No, no, no. Like a new phrase in the lexicon. They come with a new thing. Instead of saying things are cool, things are radical. Now things are lit.

Now things are lit. And then things used to hit the spot, but that was too much, so now they just slap. Yeah, you're right. Saying that something slaps is way, way stupider than saying something hits the spot. Does anybody listen to that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I disagree. You disagree?

You're absolutely wrong on this, because when you say something hits the spot, what I think is like, maybe if somebody's rubbing your back or something, like, ah, yeah, because when you say something hits the spot, what I think is like, maybe if somebody's rubbing your back or something, like, ah, yeah, you got it, you hit the spot. That's like getting things just right. You wouldn't, like, if someone's rubbing your back, you wouldn't be like,

yeah, bitch, that shit claps. My dad would say that. Your dad would say, yeah, bitch, that shit claps? Yeah, all the time. I think it hits the spot. I agree. I think there's a subtle difference. He's 70 years old, and he's always saying, that shit 71 i agree i think there's a subtle difference he's 70 years old and and and he's always saying that shit slaps homes it's weird no he would say that

hits the spot like we would like get done working or it'd be a hot day and like we'd get into the shop or the the kitchen and open the fridge you get it he'd get a cold drink and he'd drink it that hits the spot like like but but i can't i don't even what's the new word oh i don't even want to say it it's so cringy no like every time something gets no like like uh my friends are always talking about their characters drip oh god that just means like uh style right yeah yeah yeah yeah they're always some other characters drip and i'm just like so i like i like y'all but but but that's real lame but that's too much here's the thing i would never like i'll use drip if someone really cares about how they dress like i'll never ever say like

my drip or his right or whatever you know you wouldn't sound stupid referring to like like like uh i don't know if you guys know that guy hassan who hosts like uh the show with ethan that guy is a drippy guy that is a drippy person that is drippy meaning when you have like rings and pearls and nails painted like that's drip to me that's what encapsulates the word so then when i'm gaming or if you're playing like tarkov and you're like full ninja turtle gear i could understand the irony and be like yeah we're dripped out right now right but i wouldn't be like i wouldn't be like keep it ironic though

peep the drip right yeah i don't like uh i don't like the look or the drip, I guess, of the look of a lot of rings. Time out. I know. From now on, we're going to use... Oh, this is perfect because Woody's not here. All right. All right. Brainstorming session.

We have formed a whole lot of new words we use when Woody comes back. Yay. There's a whole new lexicon. We have a new way of talking about things. He's going to be fucking We need to learn how to talk like Zoomers. But we don't smile and we don't laugh. Just natural, bro. Yeah, that runs. You got to do a lot

of let's go's. You got to be like, let's fucking go. Let's go, boys. Let's go. I watch gamers game now. I respect that drip. I like that drip, Kyle. I watch gamers game. They get like a killer a double killer like let's go I'm always like bro we're here we're already going

I'm too afraid to use to use zoomer language because I'm going to sound like a boomer no cap so I will say no hat bro that was a good one. For real. FR, FR. That's another thing I said

confuses me. That's another thing I said confuses me about this day and age is you have to say for real twice. They don't believe you. You have to say like FR, FR. You have to repeat it. Not just for real. I'm for real, for real. No cap. No cap.

I'm unsalted. No cap. i was just fucking confused coming out have you ever had someone speak to you like that in a professional context like in an email or something it was like wildly it was way too unprofessional the language they use have you ever had anything like that i'm gonna need that q2 marketing spend for real for real no no cap you on god i don't care we need that by tomorrow the latest on and that's on period like the closest to that i've ever and that's on god on god this is making my bones hurt oh dude we're like uh we're making everybody like grind their teeth right now that's what i'm going for is it so uncomfortable no it makes me uncomfortable every time like i refuse to do that uh you said you had an example oh i was just gonna say that like it was never that with my boss

like it was never cringe like like it was just that they were just like real street and they just kind of spoke casually in the business context because they were the bosses and there was no one to like look over their shoulder so there were a lot of n-bomb these were black guys there's the car dealership yeah yeah there's a lot of like the n-word and there there was a lot of cursing because like their background was drug dealing and they were just taking that and and it to car sales because it's kind of the same game. The structure is the same with the management

and the sales guys. And you go far with charisma and fairness and working with them. They are sales guys and sales guys tend to be the most wild of those business types because they're kind of naturally the most social. The ones that like

enjoy selling and are good at it yeah but i mean the general manager the guy who's running this gigantic car dealership would be like kyle knocked that bitch's head the fuck off hell yeah good balls i re-watched wolf of wall street recently and it like made me excited about a world of business i don't even understand like stocks and everything all of a sudden you want to buy stock yeah i'm like man i want to i want to i want to get high on lewds with jonah hill pop some lewds yeah i'll tell you what i love jonah hill i really do think he might be my favorite actor at this point in time. Him in Moneyball, I love him in that character. It's tremendous.

I rewatch it. Brad Pitt kills it. I love Brad Pitt. He's great. But Jonah Hill is just awesome. Every bit, every part he's in, he plays it to a T. The one where he's the gun runner. That movie you mentioned, Kyle?

War Dogs. I heard about that but that movie and it's incredible because of jonah hill the other guy does a fine job i guess like whatever but it's the jonah hill show when he's on screen and he's like tricking that that rabbi or no he's not a rabbi he's like a really hyper religious like orthodox jew who's providing him money and he like goes in there with like the y goes in there with the yarmulke on. He's even talking nebbishly to trick him. That reminds

me of something I heard in Tabish the other day. Abraham, when he went to the market, he always took two and he's doing that thing where you match body language and always positive lots of smiling if you just look at someone who's like yeah yeah i think that you

want to come in today and like maybe we'll have a good time what do you think yeah yeah yeah yeah you unconscious you're doing it he's not he did it i got it like you want to like if someone smiles and nods at you it feels weird not to smile and nod along like we should all be smiling and nodding i guess yeah okay and like after a while like like that gets to you subconsciously you're like if you smile you will feel happy eventually it's a pavlovian thing like somehow we're wired that way if you smile enough you'll feel better um it's uh there's a lot of like weird sales shit like that those uh those guys were were interesting but like the different backgrounds that salesmen come from because it's

everything from like hyper successful to incredible failures it's it's i think it's the most uh highly diverse job position right like it's it's salesmen but like per capita or the highest paid professions yeah professionals yeah it makes sense yeah yeah it makes sense i guess a lot of it's commission huh yes and it's like a a huge chasm like some guy at fucking macy's isn't bringing that that average up but the guy who sells fucking missile silos for hallibur yeah he's making good coin so what I observed is every salesman wants to sell something bigger so like a car salesman

wants to do real estate or some shit real estate or boats like to these guys I had a successful car salesman tell me how I was like man you kill it like you make 25 grand a month selling cars. He's like, yeah, but it's a hustle.

You got to you've got, you know, many cars you got to sell make 25 grand a month every month in the winter. I don't have a life outside this. I want to sell yachts. I want that. I want to sell yachts. Kyle, if you sell one yacht a year, you've got a career. If you sell three a year, you're rich. You're wealthy. It's like these gigantic crazy yachts why yachts over real estate i think for the reasons i just said because real estate

is a grind as well but i think a lot of guys want to do real estate but but real estate seems to require more connections you know like whereas with the car thing you just kind of sit there and they kind of come yeah come to you seems like selling a yacht would be hard like who yeah 130 million who are you cold calling to buy a 72 million dollar yacht like there's there's nine people in the country and seven of them already own one hey mr affleck i was wondering if you could hit me back i got a yacht i'm trying to get rid of yeah anytime you're ready je Jeff Bezos. Hey, Jeff. What up? I got my Twitch Prime sub ready to go, and I need you to call me back about this fucking boat.

Yeah, I don't know. Now, I know you own a boat 10 times as expensive as this already. Hear me out. You could use a yacht on your yacht. Exactly. A smaller one. Exhibit would approve. Yo, dog, we heard you like yachts, so we put a yacht in your yacht.

Is that a dead meme now? Sorry, that was a 2010 one, wasn't it? I loved Pimp My Ride. When was that show coming out? 2005, 2006? I would be surprised if it was that late. I thought it was earlier than that even. Am I wrong? It may be even earlier than that. I just remember watching it on MTV. And even at the time being like, it is fucked up to put fish in this guy's hubcaps. They're all going to die. I'm like, it is fucked up to put fish in this guy's hubcaps. They're all going to die. He's like, and we got fucking 15 speakers under the fish tank,

and it's going to vibrate them into a fine pink mist. Fish in there in the fucking whirlpool. Hey, the fish in there looks like a kraken's come out of that bitch. Poor thing's done been vibrated to death. They're in there having seizures and shit. and come out of that bitch. Poor thing's done been vibrated to death. They're in there having seizures and shit. Sometimes the guy would be like,

yeah, it's, you know, I got this van and I got three daughters and two of the seats aren't even in there anymore. An exhibit would be like, I know you and your family, you and your girls, you need transport. You need something reliable. I put a miniature bowling alley

in the back of your seats. i removed the other three chairs and he's like this isn't exhibit x my man come on this isn't helpful we used to cut all that shit and like i remember on one episode in specific the person was super into fitness and like making smoothies and they put like a juicer in the back with like stocked with fresh bitch ass fucking produce in it and i was like do they expect this dude to pull over like hang on hit the kroger real quick i gotta grab some more kale to put in my fucking smoothie maker in the back of my car and the number one that me and my little brother used to talk shit about was the classic we go put a playstation in the back

we know you like video games so we go put we put a playstation in the back every time it's a playstation 2 no matter what there was a playstation in the back every time. It was a PlayStation 2. No matter what, there was a PlayStation in the back. It always had to be a PlayStation. In between the bowling alley and the aquarium, there was a PlayStation in there somewhere. There was an Xbox one time. They made an Xbox, and the controller was in the steering wheel. Yeah.

You pulled it out of the steering wheel. Exhibit sued for $230 million in multi-car pileup for putting an Xbox controller. It was like these cars had no resale value after he destroyed. It'd be like, we know you like fast food, so we got a hot drawer where your registration would be. We lost your registration when we were doing this, but now you've got a heat-warming drawer for your burgers. Your glove box is a deep fryer. Yeah.

We put a deep fryer in your glove box. Oh, no. 850. Oh, my word. Zach, show us the inside of this. What kind of pimp my ride stuff do we have going on? That looks awful. That looks so bad. Look at the car. Apparently they

fuck people's cars up. Are there any interior shots that show cool features? Is there a PlayStation 1 in the back? There's got to be a PlayStation in the back. Hang on. Look how they spelled celebrity. Where? Where does he say it?

The car has thousands of dollars in electronics. Oh, my word. A beautiful paint style in a celebrity history. Oh, I like this. It says, 1999 Dodge Grand Caravan was on the TV show Pimp My Ride. You can view episode on internet. Just search Plymouth Grand Voyager on Pimp My Ride. What do you know?

Thanks for the help with Google. Thanks for telling me how to search things online, you fucking dumbass. 120,000 miles on this piece of shit. That thing is disgusting. If I were still making videos, I would do whatever it took to buy this and blow it up. Whatever it took is $850. That would probably complete my childhood. FPS Russia blows up a Pimp My Ride car.

Yeah, but I got gotta get all the way to... Where is it again? What's MA? Massachusetts? That's what I was thinking too. What the fuck is MA? There's too many M states. It's Massachusetts. Is it Massachusetts? Kyle, I will go get that if you will do the honor of blowing it up for me.

It's got a speaker in the back by the aquarium. It does. If someone for free put that in my trunk, I would be livid. You would beat the shit out of them. You get that out right now. There is no more space in your trunk. This car is useless now.

This car is completely useless for anything other than the driver to get somewhere. We turned your family vehicle into a boombox. Ice, ice, baby. We know you love your deaf son, which is why we made it louder than ever. You can really feel the beat. We put a visual on the PlayStation screen so we can see the music.

Bro, for $850, that car's worth the the oh i agree i agree i bet it smells though i can smell that car just looking at it it smells like cigarettes and shame yeah definitely smoked in there for sure it smells like menthol newports they smoke newports i think they smoked i smoked newports for over 10. I can tell a Newport car when I see one. When I worked at Enterprise and I was like returning cars at the airport every once in a while, like someone would step out of the car and like, number one, be like visibly drunk. And you're just like, well, we're here, whatever. You just go get on your plane. And then you'd like find cigarette butts all over the back seat. If you're a smoker, like Kyle used to be,

you know someone smoking as they're driving, when they go to ash, it blows the ash into the floor of the back seat behind them. You can just check and be like, oh, there's ash here. You clearly smoked a cigarette. This person had a whole...

What's that car where the hamsters are in it? The Juke? It's not the Juke. what's the what's that car where the the hamsters are in it the uh the juke is it it's not the juke it's the key uh key of soul i think yeah something like that it was a key of soul ugly ass car and there were like dozens of cigarette holes all throughout it oh my god like dozens like piles of cigarettes and these people would have bold face be like i wasn't smoking in the car and it's like you got out of the car you're smoking right now I watched you get out of the car

you flicked the butt getting out you redneck I've smoked in a rental car before and you know I just rolled the window down and then didn't smoke the day I returned it it was fine you don't run the air conditioner either you turn the air off window down and like that ash thing like like that that's

just an asshole if he's somehow ending up with butts in the back seat yeah it was just something yeah that's crazy it's remarkable like you know when you rent a car you like do something with someone else's property even if it's like a corporation's prop you're kind of like okay this isn't mine i should treat it like at bare minimum like i'm gonna whip it i'm gonna whip it around when i when i worked at there it was different when i worked there because i felt like i was like one of the i should be i'm on the team i'm able to do it i there there was this one time i was uh they had like at the airport they had like overflow lots and so like you'd have let's say we had 600 cars or whatever, and all the lots were full. They would have like off base off of the airport. You drive like two miles and there'd

be some rented lot with gravel and everything. And we were quickly like it was one of those days where there were way more returns than we had people shipping out. And so it was just a constant like, which was like the best day for me. It was just like, Taylor, we need more people to drive cars. And it's like, oh, I get to listen to Opie and Anthony driving around. This is awesome because they all have VXM. And so I just go, you drive these and we fill up this lot. And it got to the point where the overflow lot was full. And I was in a Hyundai Elantra or whatever the smallest one is, even smaller than the Elantra. The accent, the Hyundai accent. The wind will blow that car. The wind. Those things are fucking. whatever the smallest one is even smaller than the accent, the accent, the Hyundai accent, the wind,

like blow that car. The wind, those things are a toy car in my life. Like that car. Awful. They are terrible. And I, and there was like a tiny bit of space left in the overflow lot. And one of the assistant managers,

cool guy was like, uh, all right, I guess we're kind of done. And I was like, I bet I can fit this Hyundai accent in that spot. And he was like, give it a go if you want. All right. And so I like pulled and I was like, I bet I can fit this Hyundai Accent in that spot. And he was like, give it a go if you want.

All right. And so I pulled and I was backing up to squeeze it in. I had to open the door and suck in my ribs to squeeze out because it was so tight in there. But I was backing up and I see there's a sign that they would usually have in front of the lot to say parking. And it looks like a paper sign, like a cardboard sign that's just standing behind me. And I'm like, all right, I'm perfect. I'm not going to hit the car to my left. The only thing I'm going to nudge a little bit is that stupid cardboard sign to my right,

like that wood sign. It's not going to matter. I start going back. Immediately after hitting it, I realize it's made of a steel plate and nice and it tore a hole in the back quarter panel of this hyundai accent oh my god and i was like fuck like nobody they were all in the van the shuttling van uh and they were waiting on me to do this very obvious that i scraped it because it was going and it was loud and then i got out and i was i go around to the side and i'm like and it's it's bad it's it's brutally bad

like that you can't rent this car out like the little thing is popped out from its moorings and it's like hanging holy shit i i walk back and i talked to my assistant manager, one of the cool guys. I was like, hey, hypothetically, I really just fucked up that Hyundai accent on the sign. What do we do? And he was like, that's a shame. I can't believe these vandals coming around here. And I was like, thank you so, so much for not telling anyone. And then like a couple of days later, they bring that out, and they're like, anybody know what happened? We checked the

vehicle history on this accident. There's no accident reports. Like, who knows? Could have been ghosts. And now that you've said it on a podcast, prepare to get sued. How long has it been? America. Has the statute of limitations passed?

Hopefully. And it wouldn't matter anyway. I made that whole story up. None of it's true. Not every word of that isn't true. None of that's true. Frank Reynolds, there was no suit. There's no car. There's no suit.

There's no car. At least you had a thug-ass boss that let you get away with it. Oh, I was going to say that you reminded me of what i was thinking that boss i had that used to be a bit of a drug dealer um he uh i remember he was he was 28 years old running this gigantic car dealership i remember one day i had like pride open the soda machine and i was robbing it of all the sodas. Oh my God. And like the one that was like in the car dealership.

What a piece of shit. God, bro. Holy shit. Casual limitations. I was prying open the soda machine. Tell me you're with this crowbar fucking this soda machine sideways. You fucking suck, man. At my place of employment.

At the place I work. Hey, let me start over. There was this other guy, this piece of shit. He was robbing a soda machine in my bathroom. I saw him and I was like, oh my God. This asshole. No, so like the soda man like didn't. I don't know how that fucking locking mechanism works. You know, you've twist the thing and i'm yeah he didn't screw it all the way in so

i was able to like get my way in there and i'm robbing the machine and uh you know it's right there in the showroom it's not like i'm like hiding this anyway i'm just like i've got an armful of sodas and i'm getting more and my box walks out of the bathroom. He goes, what you doing, Kyle? I'm like, I'm robbing the soda machine. Not even for the money. He goes, that dumbass left it unlocked. I'm like,

mostly. I did the rest. He's like, he starts getting them too. We'll get them out and do it. dude fuck it me and this 28 year old millionaire robbed the fucking pepsi machine and i know for a fact he took like eight drinks out to his car and put them in it before he came back and i just imagined like like him like wiping his prints off the pepsi machine before he leaves. He's calling. He's like, honey, I've got great news.

I've got eight Pepsi Maxes. Hey, baby, I hope you like Sierra Mist. I'm on the way home right now. Hey, I got five sugar-free Sierra Mists with your name on it, baby. It's like Woody in Mexico right now. It's not always about the money. It's about the thrill. He just wanted

to feel the thrill of doing something wrong, like stealing from his own soda machine. I was 19 years old. I wanted those sodas. I would imagine that the boss, I don't think the boss would have been taking a loss from that. It's typically a third party. It has nothing to do with him. It's not his

loss at all. It's going to be that guy that gets blamed, right? Well, don't't say that it's a corporate store don't put something don't make it seem like we fucked over a little man or something like that i'm sure someone else made it right you know no we yeah let's just hope from a from a private entrepreneurial was it a was it a good soda machine like were you getting sprite coke dr pepper or was it like or was it a mist yellow mellow you and pib i remember i remember uh that it was pepsi that's all i remember there was a pepsi machine so i don't remember what was that that's not that bad i like we had a red bull i don't like pepsi we had a nice showroom we had

like a really nice uh espresso machine and um like a red bull machine and uh you know the pepsi machines and like really nice snack machines that had like cool shit in them they wanted people to stay in the showroom what's that what are you drinking right now by the way kyle uh zero sugar uh dr pepper cream soda i remember cherry i had the cream sodas too oh bro that's that dr pepper line of zero sugar sodas are fucking bangers there's a really pepper cream soda one, and I love that shit. And when did you, what were you drinking? Was that Ultra Zero Monster? Or was that like the peach mango one?

This is the, what's it called? The juice kind? The Pipeline Punch. It's the Pipeline Punch one. This one's really good. I dig it. So I had one of these today. These are not zero sugar. Are those the canned coffees? This is fucking Black Rifle Coffee Company. I saw it. I had one of these today. These are not zero sugar. Are those the canned coffees? This is fucking Black Rifle Coffee Company.

I saw it in my gas station. Yeah. They're really good. I like them a lot. I usually drink those Starbucks espresso double shot things, the little short cans. But this tastes a lot like that. How much caffeine is in one of those?

200 milligrams. I drink regular Monsters usually. I switched to rockstar just because i've been loving halo infinite lately and you get double xp oh trash bro not a fan not monster ultra zero is like the best energy oh yeah the white monster zero ultra tastes the best and And then right behind the white one is the orange one. You know what I did that I do feel guilty about? Back when, I think it was when Call of Duty Blackout came out. This is like two and a half, three years ago. They had this thing with Doritos where every Doritos pack you bought or bag you bought,

you got like an hour of double XPp or something like that this is going because i did the same thing and it's like i'm not even especially then like i'm not that health conscious but i don't eat doritos like like i've never been to the point where like i buy good i've never bought snack foods like when i overeat it's because i like cook a big fancy meal like three meals a day it's it's it's really rare that i'm just like eating bags of chips like i've never done that but fuck i lost my train of thought this shit's so strong the double xp the double xp on doritos i was in the fucking gas i was in the uh a dollar general or something and i saw the doritos and i was like, fuck, double XP for every bag.

280 calories a bag. I'm going to get fat as fuck ranking this character up. This ain't going to work. I'm going to have to just snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. I did that for Halo 3. I did that for

Blackout. I did that for so many things. I took pictures and look what they do now. You did a bunch of people's dirty look at this look at this that's where it is useless code folks use this code i already used it motherfuckers you already used it that's pretty clever you literally have to do it and then pringles people like kyle can't and me i'll also i'll also take blame on that and pringles. People like Kyle can't. And me. I'll also take blame on that. And Pringles, I got one thing of Pringles, which have totally fallen off, by the way. They're not like they used to be.

They're terrible. They taste weird. They leave some bad film on your tongue. They're so weird. They cut corners at their factory. I don't know what the fuck they did, but they made it into cardboard. They're not as salty,

and they leave this weird soybean-like oily thing on my tongue. Yeah, there's like a residue. You know what you do for the double XP for that is you have to buy the pringles and then you take a picture of your bill and like upload it to pringles.com and then two days later they email you the code i'm like bro nah dude i've got i got a job y'all for that i don't have time to be fucking emailing pringles corporate to get websites this gives you two xp and two challenge swaps pringles just gives you one double xp and i'm like bro i fucking uploaded a picture and made an account you guys owe me cash yeah i want cash no i was free but but like that double xp was really strong i i want to say it was blackout

whatever it was it doesn't matter i think it's black ops right no black ops blackout was like the uh the battle royale version of oh yeah black they had it in uh they had it in modern warfare 2 or modern warfare 3 with the original just green monster cans i did it way way back they had it on the on the green good days, the green monsters and the blue low-carb monsters. This was before the Ultra Zero was even a thing. And it had the little cod guy with the rifle. And I remember drinking so many of those low-carb monsters, being, what was I at the time?

Fucking 20 and feeling like I was going to have a true blue heart attack in the middle of the night.'t drink like five of those. I remember doing this and like having like five over the course of a day. And you think like this is kind of like drinking a Pepsi or a soda. Like you don't really think like caffeine is like a real drug or chemical. And then like you get four or five of those in and you're like, what is wrong with me today? I can't see a steel motherfucker why am I shaking why am I so

clammy and sweaty anxious those were such good times though hop into the gas station buying a low carb monster and then just playing COD all day high I knew monsters get hard when I had a downer like 20 minutes after a can

that was two years ago. The only reason it's not tonight is because Tarkov doesn't have double XP from Dorito. I swear to God if Nikita tweeted go get your Mountain Dew double XP for Tarkov tonight

I'd be at the gas station right now. Click, click, click, click. You know, I could do that panorama thing. I just have my fucking phone inside the cooler. Fucking everything. I don't care. I do feel a little bit. I know.

I know. I feel shitty about it a little bit. But at the same time, why don't they put that code on the inside of the packaging? Why do they have to put it right there where it's so easy to steal? And you know what the embarrassing part of it is? When I was in the dollar store, I remember now it was a dollar store, stealing Doritos XXP codes. I did it sneakily.

At the dollar store? I did it sneakily as if the dollar store clerk see me photographing a bag of nacho cheese doritos hey quit taking pictures of doritos bro hey are you stealing double xp lock the door tony yeah Yeah, yeah. Code Adam. I'm calling Activision. We've got another one. We've got it. We've got him locked down. Don't worry.

EA Sports is in the game. Yeah, he's clawing at the door. I mean, the only person more likely than you to be taking pictures of those codes is the guy working at Dollar General. He'd be the one to get pissed. That's true. He'd be like, man, I was going to do that when I got off work. Look at this idiot. I heard he got all those am i am i stupid to think that there was some guy like eight years ago that was like honey i'm starting a company and the company is we make

thousands and thousands of number combinations and also have the ability to laser etch them on to cans you'd be like why would that even be a thing but then like this halo rockstar deal comes through and like that's a company that put that little number there and has it hooked up to halo waypoint dot com and that company was like yo we fucking locked down that halo deal we're killing it all year we did it like at some point someone started that company where they're like yeah yeah we make codes and we could laser etch them on your can like they probably sat down with like if they didn't do it internally which i don't they probably sat down with like six different potential people and i'm talking out of my ass here but like i'm

sure there's someone who listens they're like i actually work at the laser etching algorithm and that is nothing i like tags we started with dog tags and then we branched into sodas is that is that just a qr code on the back of it i can't see because it's oh it's just a number it's like a number yeah it's a number it's like a 12 digit number i guess laser is burnt into it that's a good place to put it right like i'm sure you already said that and i just didn't hear you because i was coughing or something i was exactly i was trying to find a way to like lift it up without opening the can and you can't the only thing you could do is break it off but like i don't want to be in the store that's bad then it's illegal now it's like they're like you you're stealing double XP. Harley walks into the fucking gas station four in the morning.

He's like. Literally. No, if they were like, hey, you stole double XP, I could absolutely be like, bro, if I walk into your store with my camera, I could take a picture of whatever the fuck I want. And if there just so happens to be a double xp code in the pictures i took that's on you if i haven't turned around all the cans they get all the doritos with like brown paper bags over them like pornos and gas stations yeah i'm blocked out do you guys remember the funniest youtuber controversy if like harley got in trouble for breaking off the pop tabs

yeah he stole the entire 22 dollars worth from the local people would be like damn how epic meal time's really falling off yeah your mugshot oh he's down bad. Epic mealtime. A mugshot. I can't even buy what he's making. Stealing double XP codes, and you're like, I could afford it. I'm choosing to steal. I'm choosing to steal. This is an ethical choice. Talking about those codes that you could win stuff on.

I know, Josh, you're 29. You're about my age. How old are you, Isaiah? When again? 22. 22. Okay old are you, Isaiah? 22. 22. Okay, maybe you don't remember this. Do you guys remember? You're a little retard.

Do you guys remember now if you buy a soda, it'll say, oh, you might be able to win a free soda, but it's got a QR code and you have to take a photo and then log in to pepsi.com. soda but it's got a qr code and you have to take a photo and then log into like pepsi.com do you remember when you go to a gas station and buy a sprite and just undo it and it would say like free sprite yeah i remember just being like i would be so excited like in the i guess it was like the 90s and that was a big thing because i'd be a kid i wasn't allowed to have sodas that as much as i wanted and so when i won one like i would open it right there and it was like chris like i won soda that mom and dad don't know about yeah i'm so glad you said that because that just brought up that whole like nostalgia thing i remember that summer i remember for some reason i'm getting a bunch of memories about like the soda campaign so one of them was um star wars uh episode one you know when they did the clone wars yeah i remember

that pepsi had a whole thing where the cans had all the characters on them like like all the characters i think i remember that and i think i think on the cans they did the characters and maybe the bottles they did the free like you twist it off and it's like you've won a free like like mountain dew or whatever and and i was drinking a ton of soda then because like that's when i was homeschooled i think for like two years so like we would be working i'd be working and hanging out with my dad all day and there's like a a general store like a country store like two miles away from where we live so if we like wanted to take a break we just like drive there real quick i'd always buy

another pepsi or mountain dew and i was saving the i remember they were orange i think the caps were orange it was like the highlight of my year was playing that fucking game as a kid. That was my little gambling addiction. I always wanted more Pepsi. It's probably why I was a chunky kid. You were a chunky? For like a year and a half when I was

homeschooled because there was no PE anymore and I was just hanging around my dad all day eating honey buns. What ages were you homeschooled because like there was no pe anymore and i was just like hanging around my dad all day like eating honey buns what ages were you homeschooled uh sixth and seventh grade i think i was homeschooled uh fifth and sixth grade so okay so did you like it did you like being homeschooled isaiah at first i did uh because i like, I never have to do anything. I can just sit here and play Xbox all day, lie about getting schoolwork done to my parents. It's great. But then like,

as I started to make friends and wasn't hanging out with them as much as they were hanging out with each other, I did get kind of sad, which is the reason I was like, I really want to go to school for my seventh grade year. And I did. But yeah, I was was i was homeschooled then i wasn't the hottest on it but while you're bringing up like the coke can campaigns uh you were probably a little bit older you guys but for me the most intense childhood nostalgia with that stuff is when dr pepper put the original sam raimi spider-man characters on the dr pepper cans i don't

even think there was a promotion for it but but I remember one time there was like Spider-Man everywhere. And I saw a green goblin, Dr. Pepper can, I think I wanted it so bad. I cried like in a seven 11, like that, that like, I saw a picture of one the other day and it was like euphoria.

I love that stuff. You just, you get so excited. You just cry, just start screaming and throwing up i don't know why this like like talking about like having a tantrum about something in a store made me think i remember when i was like maybe three four years old my mom used to like put me in that part of the uh the the cart at the grocery store where like the kid sits in you know up at the top uh you know i'm talking about in the grocery cart and the kid sits there

and i remember like getting mad at my mom at one point because like i said i wanted animal crackers because i liked to you know eat them like bite their limbs off and stuff and then i was she was like no you're not getting those and so like for the rest of the shopping trip, when she would leave me like near items, I would take little items off of the rack that I knew she didn't want. And I would fill the cart with them, like under stuff that she did purchase. And so like, we got up to the front and like maybe a dozen items, fucking pipe cleaners and and cupcake tins and like fucking goldfish like she'd be like where did all that taylor did you put all this in here and i'd be like i i all i wanted was the animal crackers if you'd have just given me the fucking animal

crackers we wouldn't have had this problem what What a little hellion. That's like nefariously evil. Not I want what I want. It's like I'm going to hurt you now. Waste your time. They had to keep Macy's open for like an extra 30

minutes once because I was hiding so well. They couldn't find me. Can I guess where you were? Yeah. Because where I like to go as a kid, and I loved it, was they had those racks of clothes that were like a circle. And you could just go in, and there's this little

free area in there. You've got a Game Boy or something? That's what I said. I said you were in the pants. And you know what you can do? You can hear them when you're like the employees and your parents or grandma is my mom, my grandma there. And like, they would get close and I would hear them like,

grandma's like Taylor, Taylor, come on, let's go. Where are you? And I would wait until, cause they were looking under every single one and I would wait until they were about to do it.

And then I'd like lift. Yeah. You can lift your feet and put them on the metal thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. You don't, you don't realize when you're, when feet and put them on the metal thing. Yeah, on racks. You don't realize when you're three how horrible that is to do. It's 9.55. The mall's been closed for an hour.

I did this like... He did it when he was like 17. Yeah, I was 28. This is two years. I was just a kid. I was about 24. Dude, they hate it when they catch you. They are not expecting a grown man. Stop loitering here.

And I'm just like a 30-year-old man. Like, tee hee hee. Sir, follow the restraining order. Taylor, you're not allowed to be here. I loved hiding in there. Yeah, it was fun. It was all you could do there. It was all I could do.

I hated shopping as a kid like my mom would drag me on those like trips to the mall and like i'd never get to go in the arcade it was always just being drug around like from place to place and you walk right by kb toys like three times and just like and like as a kid you don't fucking care about clothes you don't want new clothes you don't give a shit you're just you're just it's it's like it must be how like a horse feels when you're like figuring out what kind of As a kid, you don't fucking care about clothes. You don't want new clothes. You don't give a shit. You're just... It must be how a horse feels when you're figuring out what kind of saddle you want to throw on it. He's just sitting there like...

He's like, this really doesn't have that much to do with anything. Oh yeah, you like that one, do you? Okay. Get it in there tight. Fits well, doesn't it? Cool. When are we done? When do I fucking get out of here and eat some hay? That's gotta... It was awful as a kid you're you're i don't know those clothes aren't for you they're they're so your parents don't look like they're bad parents for not dressing you

i i like have so many memories of how horrible it was to have to go like shopping with my mom at the mall for clothes it was i i remember like maybe being six years old and like never fully understanding the concept of suicide until i was like 45 minutes into standing in standing in white house black market some like lady store and my mom is trying on so many things and i just remember being like what if i was what if i died that would get me out of this but if i die i can't i can't finish battling the elite four in pokemon red when i get home i don't know if i'm gonna be able to take drake take Drake the Dragon Master. I can't tap out yet. Imagine how some African child who grew up in a salt mine would feel hearing this story. About how awful it was to go shopping with your mother at the store for new clothing.

I have been wearing the same potato sack for a generation. This was my father's potato sack. No, they would look at my story and they would be like, I thought I understood where people were coming from with suicide because I had a hand chopped off because I did not collect enough rubber for the fucking Belgian government. But this poor American boy standing in White House black market for 45 minutes your accent

started like African and then went Indian and then you said Belgium no well Belgium was the one that fucked up the Africans hands you bring your one handed rubber farmer you should have stayed more African would have been easier

go ahead Josh beat him on the accent. Go ahead, Josh. I want to hear your one-handed African rubber farmer. Where do you get off coming at me like this? My name is Amy Conrad. If you ever come at me, I will crack your head open and find the gold inside. Oh my god.

I will give you definition to blood diamond. Hey, little more Jamaican there. You sound like a lad from Trinidad. I said Hermes Conrad the first time I said it. My name is Hermes Conrad. A very underrated cartoon show, Futurama. Futurama does not get the credit it deserves.

Was it gold that they think was in the heads, or it the cure for aids no it was gold there was some some like belief in some like weird area of africa some bald people were getting killed because they thought gold was in their bald heads oh it's the bald people heads because they're shining yeah yeah no it's the um isn't it that who is it that has the the aids oh it's the albinos yeah that's that's the ones that you have to rape to get rid of your age oh dude like my god albinos in africa tough go yeah we've got an albino in the in the in the discord so like look out buddy if i ever catch the uh hiv i'm coming at you you're gonna be found are there any other like albinism like that's or albinism or however you say it like that you had it right the first time oh albinism it's it's just a pigmentation thing they don't have

like other problems right other than like i guess like they'll have problems like they're called skin cancer at 10 times the rate or something they're albanians that's what it is oh albanians oh albanians oh yeah itians. That's what it is. Oh, Albanians. Oh, Albanians. It's fucking Albanians. It is. Albanians. He's trying to make us Google it. He is. I know what he's doing. I know his lies.

I've walked these streets a few times. That would have got Woody. He would have bought it. At least one of you was like, eh. Oh, he's fucking with me. I had you for that. You did that. Eh. But Woody would have been like, Albania? They are pale.

Albania? Pale Albanians? What do I know about Albania? I like this. It makes sense. Albanians it is. This gels. This vibes with me. Oh, man. They are pale.

Albanians are pale in general. It is European. They are white. This checks out. I love Kyle going from like, I can't wait for that cartel to kill Woody. Woody would have found it funny. Woody would have worked off that joke.

We're not saying that we hope Woody dies in the cartel issue. We're saying that the cartel couldn't take him if they tried. We're just daring them to, is all. I dare them to. You know what? As a matter of fact,

I'll pay you to kill him just to prove that you can't do it good night everybody we'll see you next time blue team go blue team go i've got a history here the feds we're in we're in fucking court eight months from now yeah it was a joke we were kidding my prosecutor and my judge come out. We're like, oh, yeah, we're fucked. Oh, good. Internet joke. We would all sell Josh down the river.

Oh, it'd be the easiest sell ever. I'd be doing life and y'all would all be free. It'd be easy as pie. It'd be like Josh told us to attack. He's a bad influence on me. I'm a Sunday school teacher. This Josh kid has a history of violence. We have to get rid of him.

My prosecutor going to walk in there like, I'll take it from here. I got it from this point on. Give me five minutes. Hang on. I'm about to go write a Stephen King novel on this bitch. He's going to step out and come back with some emo diary type shit. Mr.

Plot corrupted the minds of multiple individuals. Hundreds of thousands of people saw the podcast. Yes. And also, his African accent was much worse than the host of the show. And I would like that

on the record. Objection, Your Honor. The defendant never tried to do one he was prompted into it by other hosts on the show it was not his original content failed at it now it's a case about bad accents objection from the record you you mentioned like you came up super religious in your house was uh i went to a religious school was what was the kind of flavor of it like really intense like catholic or more like presbyterian like the like they had

like chapels for you i'm sure and you had to take religious classes so actually there were uh it's baptist for one i was raised baptist but not like Westboro Baptist breed, more like big conferences and youth groups, you know, kind of Baptist thing. I will say Kyle mentioned snakes. One of the few official snake handling churches is about 20 minutes from my home. And I do know people who go there. It's the one, if you kept up with it a couple of years ago, the pastor died because he was bit to death by snakes during a service. I am pretty close to one of those so that is a thing around here it would have been funny if you just said car accident and just moved along

the pastor of that snake handling thing died spider bite all you had to say was it was the one that and i was like i bet it was the one where someone died because they get bit by a goddamn fucking poisonous snake because they wave them around there that's probably what happened those people deserve it i love when it happens they should be refused treatment so um it's interesting i did like a uh it was for my occult video i did a while back i looked into like how that started and everything and And it actually didn't begin until the 50s. And there was this one evangelist that went around and he was specifically quoting in the New Testament whenever Jesus is talking to the disciples. If you do work in my name, no harm will ever befall you. And he says, you will walk through fire and not be burnt, blah, blah, blah.

You will pick up serpents and not be bit. Yeah, you'll pick up. And what Jesus was saying there was like, if you're doing my will, then you're going to be protected. Don't worry about that. He was not saying that. Yeah, well, if you believe in God, just like grab a bunch of snakes. You can literally pick up serpents. Kids, I'm talking about children, 8 to 12 years old. Listen to me.

You can literally fly. Jump off your boots and fly into the night. Literally. Yeah, that whole thing. I have realized and learned the definition of the word literally. No, that guy who started the whole thing uh died during a service in i think it was alabama um while he was handling snakes um but that that's where like that whole ideology comes from and everything yeah i don't know it was that recent i knew that yes yeah

you know i thought that i've been around for forever i mean i knew that people still do it. I thought they would have been around forever. I mean, I knew that people still do it, but I just thought it was old. So it has been done in like old societies and cults, but not in the evangelical Southern Baptist way until like post-World War II. There's a lot of stuff about the evangelical movement that happened in the South post-World War II, things like that. The older ideas of colonial America, the idea of the penitent sinner who needs to earn their holiness to stand before God, that started to make a big comeback around the same time.

And a lot of stuff like that still exists in the South to some degree. But yeah, stake handling wasn't a thing in christian churches until after world war 50s yeah i had no idea i figured that was an old practice very interesting yeah well i mean there's always been like colts and societies that have like carried snakes and stuff but just not in that attitude at least at least not to any degree that it was like a known practice uh right the one nearby that does it is a pentecostal church um i know pinnacle i know there's holiness churches that do it um things i don't think any baptist it's more so like the uh spiritual or uh with experience-based uh belief systems

they're the ones who are primarily a thing with that i could get into a snake religion what's the survival rate for their like high ranking y'all had a 180 he's like yeah i'm down i don't want to like handle the snakes i think maybe like some snake worship though oh i see what you're saying yeah yeah that makes more sense yeah gotcha what would you say i mean like handling snakes in church like it's kind of like daring God, isn't it? Well, that's what that's what I was telling them about while you were gone. It's from whenever Jesus told the disciples that you can pick up snakes and not be bit. They're just like, oh, OK.

He said so. They took it literally. I mean, just latching on to that of all things. There is. It's actually kind of interesting. If you look at a lot of a more like, I don't want to say Orthodox. It's more so like the American traditional religious movements.

A lot of the branching off that happened with those literally came from like one or two verses in the Bible where they're like, Oh, this is our thing. Now let's hyper focus on this part. And then they kind of focused with that as they went through the years and that kind of developed and became its own thing, like with the snake handling churches. To finish answering your question now that you're back, I was Baptist. I've always been in different Baptist churches my entire life. Every one of them, there's different kinds kinds of Baptist. There's Southern Baptist, primitive Baptist. All the ones I've

been in are considered a independent Baptist, which just means they're not part of larger affiliation and the belief system's just the Bible, no interpretations outside of it. Uh, and I'm actually now a Sunday school teacher in a church. So I've still continued with that. That's why I said his testimony will be very strong when he testifies against me. He said because he's a Sunday school teacher. Yes, I said as a Sunday school teacher, this man was a horrible influence. I didn't want to make the African man voice he forced me to.

I would never. Sunday school, I mean, I did dislike it as a kid because it was like all taking away from time that I could be playing in the woods because that's all that I did dislike it as a kid because it was all taking away from time that I could be playing in the woods because that's all that I did with my friends in the neighborhood when I was a kid.

It's like, what are we going to do today? Let's all go in the woods and make weapons and fight and build a fort and then do war. That's all we did. But I did like VeggieTales. That was the most redeemable part of Sunday school was VeggieTales. Because you're his cheeseburger. Now, I will clarify.

You don't know what VeggieTales is, Kyle? We did hand bells. That's when each of the kids has a different bell. They're color-coded for the key, and then she points at a chart, and we ring the bells like like a choir of bells what the fuck does that have to do with jesus we did you know gospel songs oh okay well that sounds awful veggie tales was a cartoon idea it was awful yeah veggie tales was a uh was a cartoon show with larry the cucumber and fucking timmy the tomato or something i don't

remember the tomato bob the tomato and they would like just be hanging out on like kitchen counters and they'd be like oh stevie the squash is is getting sliced up and look how much pie he made and they'd be like larry that reminds me of when Jesus made meals for 10,000 people with just two loaves and two fishes. And then it does a family guy style flashback. And all the characters are vegetables. And so it's like Jesus is an asparagus and his disciples are like squash. And the more I describe it, the more I realize it wasn't good. Don't you say it like this.

Can I ask you this? It only seemed good because I was in church and I needed something. So Taylor, all the characters are vegetables. I'm getting that. Yeah, yeah. And he's doing this Sermon on the Mount. Is it bread and fish that he's serving to vegetables? Yes.

The vegetables are carnivores. The vegetables are eating the bread and the fish. There they are. There they are. In the middle, you got Larry the cucumber, Bob the tomato. That's Goliath. Why is Larry so fucking big?

No, no, that's not. Larry is the smaller cucumber. Who's that big Bluto Ricciardo guy? That's Goliath. He's a boxer? Yeah. A misinterpretation. What are the gloves attached to?

Man, this was a terrible show. Why do none of them have arms? Stop it, Taylor. You're going too far. Is the tomato really supposed to be there? Gays not into the abyss. Unless the abyss gay is also into you. It's supposed to be educational and there's a

fucking fruit there. I'm not buying into it. No, they're vegetables. Vegetables. You made him leave. I guess the tomato is technically a fruit, but we all know what it fucking is for real. No one eats tomatoes like a canned fruit.

Nah, it should be vegetable. than by like technical definition i guess yeah yeah i mean i guess i'm really i didn't know it was 3d animated like that i didn't know it was like cutting edge technology for the time oh 1997 that was the bees knees it was the shit crazy bro they were banging that out on a fucking super-powered computer. Yeah. Do you remember toys and little widgets or things you would get during school? If you're a child, first grade or whatever, it's like, oh, you did well on your spelling test. Take a little top or a popping rubber thing from the gift thing.

Insane, bro. A little jumping frog. A little plastic jumping frog. A little plastic jumping frog and like little plastic jumping frog and while you're at school you're like this rocks now i've got a toy to play with on my desk time's flying by but like you would never bring those toys home because it's only fun within the context of shitty school same thing with veggie tales like if they put like like a morning like a 1997 1998 morning when i woke up on saturday early so i could see ash

and pokemon like if if they were like we interrupt today's pokemon to bring you veggie tails like i would have no i would have written my congressman or whatever the fuck you do as a child like i would have been like no no no no this is pokemon time veggie tails is for is for sunday school you keep that out of my pokemon keep it out of my pokemon yeah so what we had was we had uh not at sunday school it was just at school school it was so sick it was called tele francais and learning french was not exciting but tele francais was like it had like a good opening theme song and everyone knew the words. And it was like a silly, silly fucking like picture of a pineapple.

Like it was like, that's, that's who spoke to you. I'm not now like, which means pineapple. And when that show came on, we like actively knew it wasn't a good show, but Tele Francais was on and the whole fucking class like got lit singing the theme song every time. We would watch three episodes and the rest of you would sing it three times. Everyone's like, we're looking at each other. We're like, Telefrance!

Telefrance! The teacher was like, I'm going to put it on but you guys can't sing it. You cannot sing it. Telefrance! We were like, Bonjour, hello, salut. Teleponce. How fluent did you ever get with French?

I could read a book in French. I could understand people from France speaking French. I could communicate adequately with people. And then I'm from quebec i cannot understand quebecois french or the people here it's like uh its own thing and it's oh they slang and weird they weren't teaching you quebecois french they were teaching you french they teach you language french like technical french people here just have their own it's like imagine you were like you learned english and then you went to like a

really southern part of the usa where it's like like too much twang on that accent and you're just like what the fuck are they saying yeah it's like west virginians like in appalachian mountains where it's like they're speaking english but i don't know what the fuck you're saying all right now you're coming for me you're not. All right, now you're coming for me. You're not one of those folks. You're very articulate. Oh, I am Eastern Kentucky. You think West Virginia's bad. My word.

Oh, is it worse? Yeah, it's about the same. I've been to the worst of West Virginia and Eastern Kentucky, and I couldn't tell the difference. It's pretty close. Damn. That's a bad day. East Kentucky's a lot more crime and meth oriented

whereas West Virginia is a lot more inbreeding. It all comes down to the wash of the exact same. You just see someone who's got something wrong with them and you're like, that's probably not good. His dad is probably moonshine related. He's got a grandpa dad. That reference you said earlier to going blind drinking moonshine was that reference you made earlier that reference you you said earlier to going blind drinking moonshine was that a squid billy's reference by chance

no that was i've known people who built stills and made it too strong and went blind it's so that's a real thing the squid billy's joke was based off of reality then oh so like uh i think like we we looked this up on the show a while ago. So basically, when you make your own alcohol, you know how ethanol, that's what alcohol is? Right. So apparently, the reason that when they run a still and they're bottling, they let it run for a bit is because methanol, which is a different kind of alcohol that makes you go blind, is the first stuff to come out. And so if you just start bottling methanol and you drink that it can like permanently blind you which is why like just go to the fucking store and buy yeah well i've been involved in people making moonshine in prison and they even

them who can sell it for several dollars a drop even they pour out that first bit you know yeah yeah better safe than sorry like nothing's worth your sight. I'm sorry. When did you, you were about to say something? No, no. I was just, I was just going to say, he's talking about go to the store. The main reason that it is a thing is because around prohibition,

there's a lot of people who died trying to traffic moonshine and everything. So whenever the government was just like, okay, we won't bother you anymore. A lot of people didn't trust them. I decided they were going to continue the tradition outside of the eye of the law. Uh, and then that was just a pass down practice for generations and generations to come. Um, so a lot of people do it as a testament to self-reliance and anti-gov stuff. You, uh, you're, you're into the conspiracies and everything

did you ever read about like uh how the kennedy family like became influential and elite by by bootlegging during prohibition i've heard about that yes yeah yeah it's so interesting so a bunch of people did uh the like everyone who started the big cities out west like las vegas and stuff that's how they got their start um was interesting i went on a vacation to bar harbor main which was what's that sound what does that sound oh my god taylor whoa your mic just exploded, bro I don't know why like a blown-out audio is so funny to me. It's just Mimi is fucking Hey, let me see if I still hear the thing now that he's muted

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, just unplug it. We plug it back in. It's Podcast like that your game got maxed maxed out. Your gain was bad. It was clipping, dude. Did you hear that? I thought that was the rapture. Dude. Am I still blown out? Nah, sounds normal. Right there. Perfect. That's weird.

Sorry about that. That was interesting. Anyway. I thought a train was about to hit your. It's so frustrating. Cause it's like, what do I do? I haven't touched anything all day.

As soon as Taylor mentioned the Kennedys, a ship descended on his house. It descended on the Hilton and said, I went to bar harbor maine which is like a ritzy place in maine that back uh at the turn of the century into like world war ii a bunch of big fancy rich people stayed at so edison had a house there uh the fords had a house there and all that they didn't realize until the 1970s why all the houses were located so close

when they started trying to renovate nearby and found all these underground tunnels. And it turned out bootleggers would come from Canada and they would go in these underground tunnels and these tunnels led to like the cellar of every mansion around Bar Harbor. So all of these like rich, fancy people who didn't know each other, like Edison Ford and all that,

shared all this underground bootlegging ring where they would all go during the summers and get hammered. So like people who did that and supplied for them quickly made their way up to the top and people like the kennedys yeah it's wild like all of those wealthy like established families it's like well how did they make their money oh well uh they exploited millions of people and tens of thousands died because they hadn't invented child labor laws yet and they were making kids like reach into fucking metal shard piles

and like retrieve things like basically what Apple has like little African kids doing now in mines to get like the fucking manganese they need for chips or whatever. Yeah, pretty much. Sounds good to me. I need my manganese.

By any means necessary. So I know you got gotta head out harley we just hit four hours i guess we'll call it a show uh josh thank you so much for jumping on last second isaiah we gotta have you on again so we can talk more about it was a privilege and uh to both of you guys and the guest as well uh i've watched p forever, been a huge fan, so this really meant a lot to me. Oh, cool, man. We enjoyed it. You killed it, man. We'll have you back on again soon. And Harley.

I really like your videos, by the way. Oh, thank you, Kyle. I appreciate it. As someone whose first job was working in a gun shop, FPS Russia was very inspirational to me. Oh, thanks. That means a lot coming from you. This is wild as fuck, Wendigoom, for me. Both of these two dudes were two of my first ever russia was very inspirational to me so that that means a lot coming from you so thank you this is

wild as fuck when to goon for me both of these two dudes were two of my first ever favorite youtubers was fps russia and epic mealtime so i feel like i loved epic mealtime as well so this this is very i actually saw i saw a video of yours it was uh a list of movies and i wanted to see this is ages ago i don't know maybe it feels like a year ago or something. Oh, the disturbing movie iceberg? Yeah, I wanted to know where what's it called? The Serbian film landed on the iceberg.

It was pretty early. It was the third tier. I have a list on my phone of the movies that I was like, these are ones that I should probably watch um but now i'm gonna go check out more videos very cool everybody please follow me on social media thank you check out josh you got a twitter you got a twitch you guys you're on yeah my twitter

i am on twitch it's jay palop but my twitter is uh at josh palal i know it's kind of a bad spelling but if either one of you guys follows me, I'm probably going to have a heart attack. I'll follow you right back. All the links for Josh, Harley, and Isaiah are below, so sub to all their channels. Please. Alright, PKA579 by our company.