Painkiller Already - PKA 580 W/ Filthy Robot: Woody’s Mexico Stories, Worst Looking People, Bad Cop Stories

Episode Date: January 29, 2022

pka 580 with our guest filthy robot taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lucy and blue chew and of course lock and load links for the cum pills and all those other wonderful products below filthy thanks for coming on again happy to be here man you're looking very green today yeah i i'm trying to blend right in i figured if i get the coloring perfect i'll just disappear entirely it'd be ideal how have you been what have you been playing lately i've been doing a lot of gloomhaven recently which is a board game port that's done really well on pc super fun uh turn based tactical strategy normal stuff that i like a lot of old world which is a great 4x that doesn't have a lot of recognition yet it's coming out on steam later this year those are the kind of two that are really keeping me busy right now yeah you you always like uh games it seems where you can out

think your uh your opponent yeah that's what does it for me man yeah you love the strategy yeah that's why you were into magic for a long time are you still playing magic at all i hated the last two sets i know there's another set coming out but i feel like you know i'm looking at this game and i'm like every time i play you you, you fuck me with those lands. I don't know. I don't know if I want to go through that again. So that's understandable. Kind of there. You still doing the magic stuff, Taylor?

I just still play for fun. I totally switched out of standard and went to historic like months and months ago because it was retarded, like making a deck. And then I'm an adult with things to do. Like sometimes you don't play for a while and then you jump back in. You're like, Oh, that tech I made a couple months ago.

That'll be fun to play. And then it's like rotated out and it's like, Oh, well this is useless now. And so if you do historic, you can play any card anytime, as long as it's not banned. I'm one of those people who like sheds those hobbies.

And then like anytime I talk to someone and they're like talking about getting into one of my previous hobbies, I'm like, Oh wait, wait, wait, before you go and spend $1,200. I got you. No, no, you don't understand. I want the carbon fiber one. It's like, yeah, the carbon fiber molded when they compress the carbon fiber. Yeah, I've got that one. That's the one. Yeah. You can adjust the settings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always like that. Is that how you feel with magic? you jumped into magic for a bit uh that's what happened with magic what's the carbon fiber reference to is that a gun thing or just yeah just out of thin air yeah it could be a gun thing just anything expensive like whenever you're into any motorsport or like

hobbyist thing carbon fiber is like the shit right it's It's strong. It's flexible. It's lightweight. It sounds cool. The cheap thing, the good thing is usually made out of carbon fiber. I don't know. I was looking at some. Better titanium. I was looking at for my bike the other day. I don't know why because I've already got nice clutch lever and stuff and brake lever.

But I think it got advertised to me, and it was. It was like compressed carbon fiber brake and clutch. And I'm like, all right, yeah, this makes a little. Wait, my bike came with nice custom aftermarket stuff on it. You bought your bike new, right? New, used. Oh, I didn't know. So it has upgraded.

Yeah, it had like less than a thousand miles on it like like like i'm fairly any yeah okay it's a 2021 um with like a handful of miles i thought it was a new bike when i sat on it and he was like he told me it was used and when they told me they'd take care of me i was like the use sounded just fine to me no yeah but um yeah yeah i uh i just i haven't ridden the bike in a in a bit like the last couple weeks i've been playing so much tarkov and uh and i i really haven't left the house haven't been eaten i get my baths in i get my workouts in and um i get my talk off that's about it honestly yeah yeah it's bad i want to talk about that more later but what i really want to talk about is the return of w what I really want to talk about is

the return of WeezGamertag. I'm very excited to have you back, my friend. We missed you. We're glad you made it. We're glad you made it. I told you before the show, you sent us plenty of videos on WhatsApp, but I really didn't click them. I didn't watch them. I just had the thumbnail,

the image of you, and you'd be sweaty in a jungle environment. It looked like thumbnail you know like like the image of you and you'd be like sweaty in a jungle environment and it looked like it looked like uh uh vietnam or something where you were like and and uh and i've been saving them just like i do my favorite tv show so they can like binge them all at once but i wanted to i wanted to talk to you first so we like people have been asking me like like in the in the discord stuff hey where's woody how's he doing? Blah, blah, blah. Did he get kidnapped? Ha, ha, ha.

And I always say, you know, he told us he was going on a trip, and we talked about it a little bit, but I don't remember the specifics of his trip. I honestly don't know. Maybe it's better that way. There's no chance of me being like, Oh, yeah, Woody's at that resort. Yeah, he'll next Friday, of course. Then he'll be vulnerable.

I probably told you guys. I sort of made a point of not telling the internet. Like, hey, my family will be home undefended from January 9th to 15th or something. I didn't want to put that out there. But I'm home now, so come and get it.

Actually, don't get it. So stay home. I'm at home now where we should all be. Our individual homes. What I did is I went to Valle de Bravo, Mexico. So it is about two hours outside Mexico City. I think central Mexico is like the cartel area of Mexico, not the edges, which are like the resort areas of Mexico,

right in the middle where I was. Cartel activity, I didn't notice any of it, to be honest. I suspect it's overblown. But what it is, is it's well known for being a good place to go paragliding. And quickly, this is the deal. I go paramotoring. Everyone knows that you have an engine on your back to help you gain altitude. Paragliding is the same thing with no engine. So you jump off the side of a mountain and you would think the sun heats the air, but it doesn't. The sun passes right through the air.

That's why it's cold at the top. What the sun does is it heats the ground. The ground heats the air. And then you get these really super mild, invisible tornadoes that we call thermals and they're rising columns of air. And the paraglider will search out these rising columns of air, gain altitude, fly somewhere else, do it again, fly somewhere else, do it again. That's the point. I've done that in Mario. Oh, really? Yeah.

Mario Kart. So, Zach, can you show the first video? This is what the launch site looks like. Thank you, Zach, so fast. And this is basically what I was doing. This isn't me, but this is just like me. Play. And so this dude's going to inflate.

Look at his wing. Oh, it looks really easy. Jump off the side and fly away. Anybody could probably do that, right? I thought this was the thing where you grabbed onto the bar and it was like the plane. So that's hang gliding. Hang gliding has fallen out of popularity.

It's better in a lot of ways. It's faster. It glides farther. So you get more opportunities to find rising air and you can control your pitch better. But that hang glider weighs like 100 pounds. You have to have like a special vehicle that can get to the top. You can't land anywhere. So you can't just like maximize your opportunities to go as far as you can instead you really better land in a good spot you can't just land in some random farm and we'll

hike your way out because it's not hikeable and um people i don't know it's not as popular as it was knowing that i never would have imagined that was a hundred pounds i thought it was like 75 a hundred something it's a lot i would also just say like like i i always hear about hang gliding accidents like the hang gliding accident is almost like like i don't know philly cheese steak like those those words just kind of roll together uh hang gliding accident second only hang gliding death or hang gl like tragedy. I don't know. Something about those seems dangerous. It seems like they almost let anybody do them.

They get that like instructor guy who like gets in doggy position on top of you. And then, and then you dangle underneath him, like some sort of weird suspension. So no offense. And then they, but I've seen instances of like the,

the poor pastor, like coming unhooked yeah he's like and he's like hanging and like not everybody has the upper body strength to dangle for like long periods of time do you ever do like like like hangs like like i can't think of what you call them but just you know you just hold on to a hang yeah static hang they are not easy i think i'm above average at that and by being above average over a minute i think but i don't know i could get to the like finish a flight yeah and you're trying to fly like this is this is how stupid i am like the first time like i'd seen so many

videos of hang gliding where it was just like in the middle of the flight the guy is like his body straight back and he's hanging onto the thing. And for some reason, like if I had thought about it rationally, I'd have realized that doesn't make any sense. But I always thought like, he's not even strapped to that thing. He's going so fast. His, his body's like a wind sock and he's just kind of like, and then I was watching one video where that strap snaps and the guy is just

like, and I'm like, Oh, like oh okay this this doesn't make more you see it would my theory would make sense if this guy was going 200 miles an hour but not 40 so so you went to do some uh paragliding i did and my pair of friends were like so you're probably researching this like crazy spending all your time finding like where to go and what to do. And I'm like, what was I supposed to do research? I like, I'm just sending it, bro. So, uh, so that's, that's pretty much what I did. I, I know how to inflate and run off the side of a mountain. I've done that before. So I did that. And then I'm watching all these other people fly around. So like, I did that like, Oh, that guy over these other people fly around. So like I did that,

like, Oh, that guy over there is going up. I'll go to where he is. And eventually I ran out of other people to model. And, um, Zach,

can you play the second video with volume? Is this where they, is this where the dads happened? Some dads inevitably in the middle of nowhere.'m not sure how i'm gonna get back i saw this farm and i'm greeted by a team of professional wing packers oh no hola oh no well the video fucked up right there they all wait no i love it dude so these guys were so poor one of them didn't even have shoes and there are thorn bushes everywhere my wing is stuck in a thorn bush we spent like it must have been 40 minutes 30 40

minutes getting that wing and uh underneath it are these lines they're a little like strong kite string but i don't know how many there are but say 80 or something it just seems like a lot and um they're helping me get it untangled from the thorn bushes. I've got my multi-tool just cutting the vegetation, freeing everything. Me and that, what were there, six kids? Just worked at it for like an hour. After we got it free, I had to kite it. We had to untangle all the lines because that was crazy.

Go to the third video. I want to show you i'm sorry i'm sorry before we have to yeah yeah go ahead but i want one too we're on the same page after you after the poor shoeless children helped you for an hour to unrig your fifteen thousand dollar play toy on your vacation did you please tell me give them some money? I tipped them five times the customary amount for packing a wing because it was

tangled and because there were a lot of them. What is the standard amount for unpacking a wing? The standard amount is 50 pesos. I tipped them 500 pesos, so 10 times the standard amount. Zach, I would like to know what 500 pesos comes to in American dollars. zach i would like to know what 500 pesos comes to an american dollar there's no need to look that up

and then i want you to divide that number into roughly six million u.s dollars that's what the percentage would be kyle 500 pesos 500 pesos is 24 dollars which divides neatly by six well done woody thank you filthy i have four bucks and pips that's not even bad when the uneducated children can't do basic mathematics well here's the other part i wanted to know do Do you speak any Spanish? Like, no Spanish. Okay. Presumably, did they speak any English? No.

Okay. So they maybe thought they were going to make bank out of this. We don't know. We don't know what they're saying. I had a translator app that I could type in English, and then they could read in Spanish. Okay. But they couldn't read.

Oh, no. So my translator app totally failed i would like to type it out they live i don't know i don't know it's like oh fuck this is falling apart so all i could say is me llamo es mateo that's helpful for one second so we all did that like in a round table like, mi amo es Mateo. Mi amo es Oscar. Tanya was one of my favorites. She kept making really silly mistakes. And I didn't know how to, but I'd be like, Tanya.

And everybody would laugh because I'm picking on Tanya. Flipped her an extra quarter at the end. But check out my wing packers. These guys are great with volume. Not a whole quarter. These guys are great. Oh. Not a whole quarter. These guys are great. Oh, look at them play. Look at those filthy

little children run through that building. These guys are great. This is my wing packing team. They were actually running and jumping because Woody had thrown pennies into the brush. That's good. They were actually running and jumping because Woody had thrown pennies into the brush.

So I didn't know. I don't know how to speak Spanish at all. I guess that's the thing you're supposed to do before you go to Mexico. But maybe brush up a little. Know where to fly. At least get an app that works. An app that can maybe talk instead of just translate. It would have been nice if i had like i could speak and then it would speak back that that seems like a smart thing to find i didn't

do any of that um i just fucking sent it like that was my whole strategy on this trip just fucking off the mountain and do your best and not even just like a normal like didn't do any of that stuff like what you did is take an a kind of airplane jump off a mountain fly away from all the people who you might be able to communicate with and crash land in a rural area and just hope the the people around you are going to be able to deal with that huh just hope keep in mind he's hoping that like he hasn't crash landed into some sort of like something he shouldn't be looking at i'm not even kidding what a beautiful poppy field right here i grew up in maine and uh one time we were uh we were out just fucking around as kids in high

school right in cars or something we came up we came down this dead end road that had like a fenced off area and it was a fenced off field and it was fucking pot and we got shot at and that was in that was in like the u.s in maine here i can only imagine what you could have fucked up in in mexico doing that so i'm kind of actually actually to be fair though like like i i don't think that they make any drugs in mexico besides methamphetamine and marijuana and marijuana is no i'm almost positive and marijuana is like legal now because because the cocaine comes from... I don't think it's legal in Mexico.

Are you sure about that? Yeah, they legalized marijuana last year or something like that. Good for them. Yeah, I'm 99% sure. Someone told me it wasn't, but I'm not sure. It's not legal yet. I think it's a bit of a countermeasure

against the cartel because you take away one of their enterprises by legalizing. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if I would have saw it if it was for sale. I wasn't looking for it. Yeah. How long were you up in the air for, Woody, for that jump and then versus how long did it take

you to get back out of Kyrgyzstan? That flight was an hour. My best flight was just under three hours. Okay. You were in the air hovering in those hot spots for three hours. Okay. You were in the air. I'm trying to those hot spots for three hours on your best one. So forgive me. I want to really picture this trip. So you flew out of

Raleigh, I guess, to Dallas-Fort Worth where they lost all my luggage. Yeah. You didn't motor down there? No, I didn't motor to Mexico. It's just 40 mile hops.'m not gonna make it over the fence you have like wigs or sails or something for your paramotor right woody do you have like it's it looks just the same with a propeller in your bag do you have a do you have what is what is your um what's the decal on your um on your sails like what do you have like what is what is your um what's the decal on your um on your sail like what do you

have like what's your what's your what's your what's what how i know if i look up and i see a sail in the sky how do i know it's woody what am i looking for it's just a bunch of dollars it's hard to spot i have like i don't even know how many wings i have now like 11 or something like that like i i just i if i want a a wing that's and it's different than what I have, I get that. Now they're just accumulating. You got vanity plates higher than you. I tend to do a lot of acro. If he looks like he's crashing,

it's probably me. I'm that guy. Yeah. I don't speak any Spanish. They lose your language at Dallas-Fort Worth. Okay. How do you get to Mexico? Is that a drive across thing?

No, the stopover was at Dallas-Fort Worth. And then I flew into Mexico City. And I arrived at Mexico City. There was no luggage. So I stayed at a hotel there for two nights while I waited for my luggage to arrive. And I just walked around Mexico city in relatively dirty underwear. And, um, but you know, like in good company, but yeah, like, I don't know, like, like Jackie's at home, like, Oh man, that sucks,

whatever. And I'm like, it doesn't suck. It's just a different vacation. I was going to check out Valley de Bravo. Now I'm checking out Mexico City. So I went to this like big church in the middle of Mexico City. And so I started walking around. I was on a mission to like get some pesos, eat lunch and just see the locals. I'm big for Mexico. Everyone's had this experience. Yeah.

Everyone's had this experience. Not everyone. You go to like Japan or something. You you're like i am a massive human here dude i would see a i was in a road with like 500 people in view in mexico city and i'm like i think i'm literally the biggest guy here like like i don't see that an awesome feeling i guess a little a little. I'm like, you know what? I'm a little hard to kidnap. Now, Woody, imagine how you'd have felt looking at all those 500 unarmed people

if you'd had a gun. I don't need all of you to assume they're unarmed. Yeah, I'm going to assume they have a couple glocks floating around. But I'm just like, I know this isn't the reality, but I'm having fun picturing Woody in like an American flag hat. And like a thin blue line shirt.

Like build the wall. Build the wall. Just like the walk around Mexico City in a MAa shirt challenge impossible difficulty yeah not half of them are girls of course but yeah like I Americans are just bigger than Mexicans it would seem so it was the opposite as if you like like if you took a paragliding trip to Iceland yes I'm going back to Mexico i need a little confidence boost

yeah um oh so what's the next video what did we watch two of them so far yeah yeah yeah let's go slide number three i knew the word taxi so i just like, taxi, taxi. I was asking him where to go. Did it play? Have you gotten clean underwear by this one? I understand what my wing packing team was telling me. This is the way to the taxi. I'm a little suspicious that they're right, but I don't have any phone signal.

So it's the best information I have. I was hiking. You're just trying to figure it out. No phone signal. Little Oscar just kind of pointed in a direction. And you're like, Oscar, I need you to understand this. Me llamo es Mateo. T-T. Me llamo es Mateo. Si, si.

Me llamo es Oscar. Si, si. Oscar, I need you to listen to me because it's important. Me llamo es Mateo. You got to get me out of here, Oscar. My name is Matthew. They told me to go down the road and turn left. And I had no

idea what they were saying. But I did understand go down the road. When I got to the turn, they all started screaming, Mateo, Mateo. I turned around. All these kids doing jumping jacks. And they're like, that way. And those were the last directions I got. I was

climbing through the woods by the way the altitude is like 8 000 in this part of mexico i'm fucking exhausted if you watch these videos look for the vein on the side it's so huge it's pulsing can i when i was in colorado for those two weeks that like i think it's 5,000, almost exactly. You feel it. You definitely feel it. We're smoking, too. That's what I'm saying.

8,000 is clearly an incalculable percentage more. I can't imagine. It's incalculable. But no. You can't do that. So how long did you hike an altitude on the directions of an immigrant not an immigrant then you're the immigrant yes i am yeah between three and four hours it was so fucking steep and slippery i'm on all fours with that backpack i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm gonna need to stop you multiple times throughout four hours that's down to the end of the road where you could see them and then left hang on

so i need i need to understand the day now like we got to rewind just a little bit so so let me understand this you went out into the jungle and jumped off a mountain and went for a ride on your your thing and and at some point you crash landed into a mexican farmers or yes some peasants and then you you paid the children to fix your wing and you were on your way and you said mayama s mateo and they said see and they pointed to the left and you walked on that alone hang on let me did you see an adult were these children unattended children unattended? One of them was an older teenager. What would you estimate was the age of the oldest individual

that you encountered? That was the one with no shoes. You never saw the father or mother who... The next night, dad got home or mom presumably got home and they were like,

Mateo came by. He flew from the sky and he gave us all this money. I gave the money to like a six-year-old. And then I had to pantomime that it was to be shared because he was like, taking it in. Oh, no. That was like a week's worth of food for one kid. That was like a week's worth of food for one kid.

Pretend I'm little Oscar and explain to me that the meager wage that you've just given me must be now split amongst all of my many. You probably thought it was their first installment. Oscar was like, we're a little cheap, I never worked for this little before but it was a 500 because you only pay 50 I gave him 500 well 20 to 50 is the range I gave him 500 I have more questions

he was like oh and everyone else was like oh and I'm like split split because they were I think he's saying gather around to look at how much money he gave to just oscar look everybody be jealous of oscar is what he's saying he's saying i gave that much to the tiniest of you just imagine the fortune I think they were asking if it was to be divided. And I was saying, see.

Anyway, so I'm hiking through the woods. How many videos have we watched? Please tell me there's a number of you. Because I would love to see your optimism when you just finished paying the kids. Everyone's waving you off. And you got your wing versus two and a half hours in, three and a half hours in. I can't imagine you were taking videos three and a half hours in. I didn't upload. But you just see me.

I took a couple breaks in that hiking period because I was winded. And it would be like an uphill section made worse by the fact that it was uphill and muddy. And I just sat down and sort of chilled and stuff. I thought that I had water. I remember buying water. When I got back home, I saw exactly where I set the water down. But for the hike itself, there was no water. And that would have been nice.

You could have died. I'm self-efficacy. If they would have told me, well said, if they would have told me if I was in your position, they're like, see you at a four-hour hike up the hill. I'd be like, I'm your new brother, Taylor.

I'm going to live here with you and lose some weight. And then when I'm in better shape, I'm going to make the march you and lose some weight. And then when I'm in better shape, I'm going to make the march up the four-hour hill. And you just never do. You become an old man there eating pizza and rice. I'm quickly, like, sneaking food at night. You don't even like beans.

You only got $24, Taylor. how much food do you think there is so okay you're like where's that 24 so here's what i hike i come out of the woods and i get onto a dirt road and i'm like oh maybe there's cars on the dirt road and i maybe saw a couple but they were all going the wrong way there was um people working and if i had good spanish i might have asked them for a ride but instead i just hiked on and hiked on eventually coming the other way there is a motorcycle with a family on it there's i thought it was being driven by like a five-year-old because he is sitting on the front holding the handlebars and i'm like what the fuck is happening here? Then I realize it's the dad behind him also holding the handlebars that's

running the thing. Behind him is mom sitting on the bike. Mom has an infant. There is a family of four on a 150cc motorcycle coming in the other direction. The guy stops and seems to ask

me in Spanish if i want a ride yeah so he leaves his wife and two children alone in the woods right stop i've been looking for an excuse to get rid of that bitch. One of the kids is like five months old. There's so many questions. So we're going to pause a few times. So you're telling me this man stopped and he asked you if you wanted a ride and your answer was yes? I don't know if I'm supposed to feel guilty about this. I bought the whole family dinner with this ride. Right?

But my answer was yes. My answer was yes. He was four hours into a hike at 8,000 feet with no water. I would have hijacked the bike. He's like, I was going to offer you a ride and it's like too late! This is what I've been training for?

You too, bitch! And the kid! This month old has no resistance whatsoever. But yeah, that's what happened. Can we watch the last video with volume? Alright.

Is that the last video? i understand what my wing packing team was telling me oh we saw this one this is the way to the taxi let me see did i make a mistake which is the last video because i know i have fucked up oh no um yeah just send it while you gather that i had another question you mentioned earlier that like you paid the peasant children like much more than the going rate and i was curious what how how was a going rate ever established because like i know that i tipped like four dollars on like a medium pizza if it shows up in my house something like that but like i i have no idea how much you tip a mexican child to untangle a parachute and you seem to have like a known amount

um i'll let woody keep looking uh i i know and it's different because what do you want to like a not resort place but i know from like going to resorts in like Jamaica or whatever that like if you ask like the front people will tell you or like the taxi driver like on the way to the resort will tell you. And so you can be like I think my wife asked when we went was like, hey, what's the amount of like cash you leave in the room like afterward, like for the cleaning person, like as their tip for cleaning your room for the week? And they were like, oh, like like 20, 20 bucks. Leave 20 bucks at the end of the five days or whatever, the normal amount. What I always do is, you know those 20s that you open it up

and it says that, you know, God loves you and that you can give your soul over to him. You piece of shit. I figured I could give him 20 bucks and that could be gone frivolously you know probably buy a little oscar some shoes or something or I could give him that little message and ruin their fucking day I mean but think about I mean but think about like this Kyle you're teaching a man to fish no no I am teasing of course but like how many times have you guys

picked up one of those bullshit things and been like fuck you god you know what i'm not going to i'm looking up churches of satan i'm not going to go there either because church sucks but just looking it up i had called that my first flight but really it wasn't we did an evening flight the day before and landed in a field where there were like when you land there's video of me doing it there are like eight wing packers and they all rush up to you and they're i don't know what they're saying but it's basically can i pack your wing professional professional i am professional let me pack your wing and i assume they probably throw in there if no just say something just let me know that you don't want that which is probably the biggest one who was like 11 and i'm like you right you're the oldest you're probably good at

packing wings like peter pan just so uh that's that's there's like this whole little group of children there that are all missing various fingers because they got caught in the loops of rigging and stuff. And oh, man, they were a little work to the bone fingers and they're stepping on rock. Actually, the bottom of their feet is probably hard. Well, just like golems, just black and charred. I had a friend in like middle school who his entire life like I went over to hang out with him once and we were like going outside to like play in the woods or something he just started walking out barefoot and I was like what are you doing we're going to like play in the creek bed

in the woods and everything he's like yeah me I've always gone barefoot and so like I'm like okay because I've done the barefoot thing on like creek beds and you think you're going to be fine and then you're like oh like your feet getting stabbed. This fucker was like mowgliing around just fine. The bottom of his feet must have been two centimeters thick of skin. He's like, yeah, we just never wore shoes.

I'm liking that Jungle Book reference. Zach, can we... You probably have the last video queued up with volume. Can I turn it on again? Okay, so this is awesome. He stopped, he saw me walking. Look at that vein. Don't know what he said.

Please do not hurt my family! Run away. I would take you anywhere you want to go. Please do not hurt my family, sir. Woody, can you also please send the one of you in the back or in the the truck okay that was that was for me the funniest one did like the other people you launched with or like presumably like this isn't your equipment presumably you rented this from the day that's the luggage they lost okay so you got it again

eventually okay yeah you knew did you know to expect this did you expect that you would fly for an hour and then have a four-hour hike followed by a random motorcycle ride followed by a truck ride back with no water like were you prepared for this i just sent it you know i got it no i didn't do a lot of preparation um I had confidence in my ability to launch and land safely. And the rest of it, I just accepted my fate. Man, I would have been in such a bad mood after that four hour hike. I would have booked the next flight home. Looking for the truck video.

As a family. Yeah, you put it on the WhatsApp. That was very funny. How far did this guy bring you on his motorcycle? Like, how long were his, like, wife and, like, infant son or infant kid? It was probably 15, 20 minutes on the back of that motorcycle. So double that, I suppose, you know, for how long? Dude, and I was talking about...

A lot can happen in 40 minutes. I wonder if they had water. You could have bummed some well i don't think it's just a drink after you're bitten by a poisonous snake god knows what happened to him out there then you probably couldn't drink the water anyway it might have made you sick what if that wasn't what what if that wasn't his family that was his fair he was driving the mother and the infant somewhere and her child, but he saw a rich American and he was like, get off of the motorcycle,

you pregnant bitch. That is Mateo. I heard of his generosity. Actually, I heard it's not so great, but better than you. He just stops like skids like solemnly like tu tu llama es Mateo

si mi amo es Mateo you had quite the adventure that's quite the adventure I am uploading one more video yeah I want to see you in the back of the truck in the back of the adventure that's quite the adventure yeah i am uploading one more video yeah i want to see uh in the back of the truck this is the last day but we don't have the narrative up to here so you're on the motorcycle that's where the narrative cut out so yeah on that trip once i got on the motorcycle i felt like the drama was over the motorcycle took me

to a place that was more populated. I was able to get a taxi. I took the taxi into town and hiked back to my house. So what's the truck then? This isn't the only time this happened, Phil. That was day two. Yeah, that was day two. After that, I started having a lot of success like the real object of valley de bravo is to launch from that uh launch site that i showed you in the first video fly around and get to the lake next to the lake is the town that we're staying in it's hikeable it's like three miles from from my house uphill and um obviously the lake is like at the bottom anyway. So and there's like a sandwich

place there. There are sometimes wing packers and you land gloriously where you intended to land. It's this like success and you're near a town which has all the facilities you might want, you know, water, food stuff. So the next, I don't know, six flights in a row or something, I achieved that. And I was getting progressively longer and longer. The first day, I went there as directly as I could. The next day, I went a little farther out to these mountains called Three Kings. And then the next day, I'm out by the antennas. And that was the flight that was almost three hours. It's the greatest normal achievement. If you do more than that, then you're, you're probably somebody who's special. So, and then I was doing it at first by staying with other pilots and kind of mirroring their actions. And then as time went on, I'm doing it all by myself, you know, making my own decisions and not having anyone else's clues. So I felt like I was growing as a pilot and having more and more success. anyone else's clues. So I felt like I was growing as a pilot and having more and more success.

And then I'd be with a group, but I'm the guy on top, right? I'm the guy that everyone's following, which was like, I guess I'm pretty good at this. And then on the last day, I was humbled. Everything I did was wrong. I would see some guy get massive lift. 10 seconds later, I would go there and get no lift whatsoever. Everything I did was wrong. I was on the radio with another pilot, and he kept telling me what I was doing wrong. And he'd be like, Woody, you're turning too sharp. And it's like, I just tried turning not as sharp, but okay. Woody, you're not turning sharp enough.

Woody, cross your feet. And then I'm just like, everything I do is wrong. And you keep telling me to do things. I just tried and it's making me crazy. At some point I'm alone, just screaming curse words in my helmet to nobody. I just, I got, I'm so frustrated. Everything is going terrible. And what it is, is it's cloudy. So we covered at the beginning of the sun heats the earth, whatever it does that poorly. If it's overcast, all the lift is really really weak somehow especially for me like sometimes you have bad luck maybe before i actually sucked and i just had good luck this time i had bad luck it's the whole cliche like you know when you're on top you're not as good as you think you are and when you're on the bottom you're not as bad as you think you are probably maybe i really suck but

that last day i couldn't do anything right. And I'm just screaming and I'm cursing and I'm searching and searching. I land in this field. I've got a bunch of videos about it. But when I pick a landing site, like my top priority is safety. I'm trying to land and not get hurt or break my leg or whatever. That'd be a real problem. My second priority is convenience.

And I didn't realize that I was like three barbed wire fences away from the road. Each one of them trying to perform testicular surgery on me. And they don't have gates or anything. So you're just like figuring it out. Like, you know, well, maybe if I squeeze these two together and then I get to the road, no one's picking me up. There's a bunch of cars just like that motorcyclist made me think everyone was anxious for a few dinero. No, not everybody. And, uh, I'm white. I'm just, I'm hitchhiking and I'm not even walking that long. Call it like 20 minutes, but I'm getting

a little frustrated because like eight cars passed me and I'm not getting any rides. And let me see. I have a, this is the video that Taylor likes. Eventually I get picked up. So Zach, he'll need a second, I'm sure. It's funny because the way you frame the video is initially you can't tell what you're in. And then just the reveal of you know with volume there's hay on my face okay i once again secured a ride

oh flying we're sad workers yeah so the guy in the passenger seat spoke English and the driver who was the boss did not. So I was talking to the passenger and he's like, you know, I think he was telling me to throw my gear in the back or I don't understand. But I climb in the back and he's like, OK, or that. Or that. And they just start going. Oh, no. It didn't seem like there was room up front for any more people and uh they drove me a long way it was like 30 minutes in the back of that were you standing the whole time like a dog just yes yes the whole time and and the mexican roads are so like potholey and stuff dude there are entrepreneurs who fill the potholes and then beg for money because they're like improving the road.

They're just more people who own a shovel. But they fill it with dirt. So tomorrow there's still a job for them. They don't fill it with rocks or anything permanent. They're just putting loose soil in there and then asking for money. And every day they do the same thing. It's a good grift. putting loose soil in there and then asking for money.

And every day they do the same thing. It's a good grift. And, uh, but it was hard to stay to the back of the truck because he kept like slamming on the brakes for all these potholes and he's dodging them and he's moving around. And, and there's so many speed bumps in Mexico.

I don't know why no one's going fast, but, uh, he took me for a while. And then I, I was giving him 500 pesos for the ride. And the guy is like, uh, like, no, no, no, I was giving him 500 pesos for the ride. And the guy is like, no, no, no, no. Because he was going that way already.

He felt like he was just doing me a little favor, putting me in the back. No big deal. And I talked to the pastor. I was like, tell him that I'm rich. And then he says that in Spanish. And the guy's like, okay. Damn, that is a risky move in mexico please announce to this strange man that you're rich get back in the truck yeah he just picks up the little radio and says something to it right

after that you're like wait a minute this was just caught a couple of flies well it turns out one of his close friends is a taxi driver. It's an unmarked cab. So that was the last day when I just, everything went wrong for me flying wise. Oh, and then as soon as I landed, the sun came out and the sky turned on and there was all this terrific lift. But yeah, dude, I had a great time. To me, I feel like if you don't go to central Mexico and hitchhike, then you're missing out on some cool shit.

Yeah. Roll the dice with life, guys. Woody, would you say now that all that nonsense about migrants having a tough time getting over here in the beds of trucks and all that. Like, overblown, right? You had a great time. Yeah. I didn't have any trouble at all.

Just hand out 500s. Were you put in any cages or molested in any way? No. No, no, no, no. I was treated quite nicely. I've never seen someone so happy in the back of a Mexican truck. No. It was a blast.

Oh, I want to know the – so also while you were there, you experienced some of the local cuisine that you shared with us. So you were going to buy ants. They were out of ants. Yeah, they were – she's had a great line because I shared the menu, and it had all these things on it, like ant larva, grasshoppers, some sort of like, I don't know, anachro bugs or something.

I have no idea. But I ordered the ant larva because I thought that it was the one that would most be changed into some other food. Like, oh, it says ant larva. But when it gets here, it it's gonna look like gravy or you know sauce or something like that they were out of ant larva and she's just like could did they look for them like maybe shake the trash cans out back which was a cool line but when he didn't have any i ordered the grasshoppers so in my head i guess i figured they would turn the grasshoppers into something else into something better like like oh sure it says grasshopper caterpillar i have pictures of the grasshopper meal is there an easy way to get

from like your phone to the internet instead of the three-step process i take i'm not sure but um uh yeah so they they gave me the grasshoppers this might take a minute oh well all right my guess is that they just look like grasshoppers um i don't know if that's better or worse than if they handed me like something that were like, oh yeah, it's puree of beetle. And it was just like a dip. I don't want to eat bugs at all. I would prefer not, but I think if you dip something in chocolate, like

almost anything. And this was what they were serving you on the back of the truck as you were driving in? No, this is a restaurant. He sent us a photo of the menu. It had like the, it had normal stuff too, like chicken taco, but then it was like ant larva fucking burrito. Fancy restaurant? Like hole in the wall?

It was a pretty fancy restaurant, I would say. Somehow, I thought they'd make it good. It says ant larva, but by the time they've prepared it and turned it into a meal in which people would eat, it's going to be like nachos or something. That that was my expectation yeah that was not my reality at all that it's just not how it went down yeah they did not bother to change the form of the grasshopper they left them as is the way god made them yes this is the mexican equivalent of like farm to table like this is like the purest of

ingredients i've gotten you like field harvested grasshoppers they're not going to put this into something else you're going to lose the flavor of the meat yeah for some reason so the way that you ate it is you you got a little tortilla you filled it with grasshoppers smeared some like avocado on it and tried it and then drank a very strong bourbon immediately after i i took a bite and it was like i don't i don't know why i expected this to be good it was so grasshoppery it was clearly just bugs in a tortilla well that's what it was i know you you can't get the picture but you sent the photo of the little tortilla you made very good looking tortilla but it had like four fat grasshoppers in it and then like you know how like uh guacamole is usually applied it's like

a little flavor enhancer like the amount that woody put in that taco was like we're gonna blast through these with the power of avocados like this is huge like you just like emptied half a toothpaste in there of avocado. I have this image. I was a little kid. I hated eggplant. My mother would make these eggplant dishes. I have to eat them as a kid. I would do it by eating it with a big

mouthful of rice and chase it with milk as a kid. I'm just imagining Woody doing this with the grasshoppers. Why? I sent the pictures via Discord. There should be a...

Oh, I have fucked this up. I thought I sent an image of it. Here we go. Jack got it. Okay, yeah, so that's the grasshopper. Hard to make out from here. No, I'm seeing it. It looked more like crickets. Oh, that's the thing. You got hoodwinked. It's nothing more than a common cricket. No, that does look it. They look more like crickets. Oh, that's the thing.

You got hoodwinked. These are nothing more than a common cricket. No, that does look exactly like a burrito full of bugs. If you weren't expecting this and you opened your burrito, like you'd ordered a burrito somewhere and it was like a steak burrito or something, you'd open it up and you'd be like, what the fuck? But this, okay. Is there cheese you can put on it? Like are they helping you with other ingredients?

Yeah, maybe some salsa. Can you show the other link, Zach? this is the plate that it was served on he usually needs a second to show yeah i like that presentation i like that he made that fancy little uh arrow with the zigzag on the end and then he threw a bunch of fucking cockroaches at her face. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought one of them jumped or moved. What if you called the waiter and were like,

excuse me. I don't want to cause a stink, but there's a hair in my cockroach. Excuse, but there's a hair in my pile of bugs. Excuse me. There's a hair in my pile of bugs. Even after seeing it, I thought that they would be seasoned or something in such a way. It was literally just a plate full of bugs that I put on a Tostito.

I ate the entire tostito i was afraid that i would look back at myself having had like a single bite of grasshopper and not really like you know experienced mexico yeah taylor you know what the waiters were saying in the back as they watched what he ate the whole thing yeah indeed we only have this on there to make this place seem authentic that's fucking gross i mean they didn't even have like no that's chili powder or like something to make it taste nice it was just bland ass bugs give us give us the the top note like the the redeeming feature of grass detailed flavor palette was it the texture like do you like the fact that the legs have are just full of like crunchy and hairy texture it was crunchy as fuck and then once you like smushed into the grasshopper it tasted exactly how you'd expect grasshopper to taste and

that was the most shocking part of all somehow somehow i was sure that if there were grasshoppers on the menu of a nice restaurant that it wouldn't taste like grasshopper but it very much did and then i just ate it by the time i finished the tostito i actually felt bad like a little sick and the biggest mistake i made the biggest mistake was having had finished my drink before starting the grass because i did the grasshopper just lingered in my mouth as i waited as i waited for pepe or whatever my name was to bring something to wash the grasshoppers down with please tell me you got home and jackie was like i know you love him you had a great time and she made you a homemade plate of grasshopper when you got home freshly picked like actually dared to dream freshly picked saw somebody else that you had ordered some ant

because I saw the ant larva on the menu. The menu was interesting to me. Maybe they'd be interested to see the menu. It takes me a minute. No, don't worry about that. It was like honeyed ant larva or something like that was on there. Which would probably have been better than the grasshopper

because you can smother a lot of taste out with stuff like honey honey i gotta say like i'm i'm down to eat a lot of stuff but but like at some point like you just it's just a stunt right like there's no way that like grasshopper is like tasty like no there's no way i'm sure it's a great renewable source of protein but but in the end you're eating an insect it's like it's the same way that like we've talked about this before we're like it'll be like oh in fucking kenya this cricket dish is a delicacy and it's like yeah that's because they haven't they don't have cheesecake to steal a woody turn of phrase here uh for those of us who don't know uh what do grasshoppers taste like what are they close to like what's the nearest comparable food that we might have had?

I don't know. I haven't had caterpillar. Have you had caterpillar? Having had grasshopper, I feel like I know what caterpillar would be like too. But it's not helpful. We need to know the nearest comparable for what we've eaten as a point.

That's like saying because you've had pork, you think you'd know what a snake would taste like so it's crunchy and the inside is gross and they smell like caterpillars and they and they taste like grasshoppers pause button with you. You're on fire tonight. We should do a video reaction to Woody describing this because we need a pause for this. What did you just say? I have no idea. He said the outside is crunchy and the inside

tastes like grasshoppers. Yeah, I can't help you. What do grasshoppers taste like? Not like chicken, not like steak, not like bison. They're just gross and squishy on the inside. And they sort of... How about a consistency?

Yeah, consistency. What are we talking about when you say squishy? So it is like rotten yogurt on the inside of a grasshopper. And the outside is like dirt and exoskeleton. It's... Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to stick with real animals eating real animals not bugs animal yeah is that can you share that i sent on discord did you get it i don't have any i had some sort of i can't remember what fucking insect it was now but i had

it in a drink once i had a spicy uh like margarita drink that had part of that as like the powdered part in that and that wasn't bad but i didn't taste it or i didn't notice it like it was in there but like you didn't notice so sex trying well they'll like i've heard of like like silly things with like bugs and like stuff with drinks like they'll have like like mexican tequila i only know this from like seeing it in tv shows and i know it's real where they're like oh there's a worm in the bottom of the tequila or there's like a little snake in the bottom of in the tequila but that's really not that gross because it's sitting in alcohol you know like it's not nearly as nasty as eating a bug in its entirety i don't know if you can zoom in at all but if you with guacamole artichoke with vinaigrette

and four cheeses no we skip right by that totters of pork and vinegar grasshoppers with guacamole that's what we got worms of magui cactus with guacamole shrimp octopus cocktail ant larva with melted butter they didn't have that mixed salad and cheese fondue so it feels like a couple of these are on there just to like catch the like the tourists like this whole menu is like there's a there's a lot of good ones and a couple that you just don't do and if you do you're getting charged extra by the way can i just say the cheese fondue for two with first of all that rhymes with argentinian sausage sounds amazing and you chose i was thinking the same thing no no they didn't have any larvae forgive me i'm going fondue on this menu for. Get a little mixed salad so I don't feel

guilty about eating for two. No, we're not. I want it. I assumed I'd be shared. Eat a little more so I feel less guilty. It was fondue for two. No, not shared. You with the crab.

But it's for smaller people. I told somebody your crab story about how you sat there and ate four portions of crab in front of a girl. That's how I said it. And I sort of left it open at the end. And they were like, did she ever come back in? I was like, yeah, yeah. She married him.

She married him. Now she knows when we go out for seafood it's it's a four-hour event i i get up in the middle like it's an intermission at a play and i kind of just like stretch and one's like you're not going home yet bitch you can you can shovel some more in i almost ordered crab events or something like where you could make hardly any anymore i've run them all out of town they know better than that uh they've learned their lesson i almost got missouri i almost sort of crab the other day but it was so expensive it felt like wasteful it was going to be like 60 for to like order just like a portion like i don't know a meal of crab and like sides and stuff and that's probably like what like three clusters at most it's like the beginnings of an appetizer that was like four

pounds plus sides or something like that which i feel like is about how much crab i'd want to eat uh like four pounds i think would do the trick that's not too bad for 60 bucks then yeah but that's lunch like it's it's like i didn't really want to spend 60 on lunch on a on a whim it seemed seemed shitty to do i but but when i looked at Like it's, it's like, I didn't really want to spend $60 on lunch on a, on a whim. It seems, it seems shitty to do. I, but when I looked at what it costs to, uh,

to like buy crab and cook it, it's not like you're saving a ton of money, man. Middy got a real kick of me, uh, out of us talking about him being, uh, uh,

a crab cock, a crab cop on, uh, uh, on PKN. My friend, many, for those who don't know,

works loss prevention at one of those big box stores. You might need a membership card to get in. Who knows? He sits behind this big bank of computers or monitor systems, and he watches to see if anybody's stealing. He's really good at his job because

he's a gamer. He's been on four monitors for years. You add a couple more, and now instead of CSGO guys, he's got a fucking swipe and hit in the head. That's terrific. He's got some young lady out to steal 18 pounds of crab. Quickscoping thieves. Quickscoping them right off the bat.

I saw one the other day. He's chasing this lady. He's a big boy. He's like 6'4 four two sixty he's chasing this lady out through the parking lot and uh she doesn't know he's coming she's got this big bag of stolen crab and lobster and he and he grabs her from behind and then a car like is on the other side of her i'm like oh shit that's her boyfriend middy's gonna have to face off with this dude no that's midi's backup he saw he saw the crab cops are on the fucking scene he saw midi chasing after this girl and he was like midi needs help and he fucking and fucking skidded a car in front of this lady and they got her

sandwiched and he's like and he's like lady give me the crab she's like uh-uh he's like, lady, give me the crab. She's like, uh-uh. He's like, lady, I weigh you by 150 pounds. She goes, what does that mean? He goes, it means I'm getting the crab. Man, busting out one-liners in the parking lot. Cease and desist, man. Hand freeze. Get it? Because they're frozen. Cease and desist, man. Hand freeze! Get it?

Because they're frozen! Frozen! He's got a pretend gun. No, they don't give us guns. I bring my own from home. He pegs you with a couple rubber poles. Come along or there'll be trouble. He starts using RoboCop lines. It's hilarious.

Every time that he fucking lays hands on another one of these crab thieves, he sends me the video and he's got me rolling. These pieces of shit driving up the price of crab for honest Americans. Dude, I've been learning more and more

about what these folks steal. I've got another friend who also works at a different kind of store and and they were like look these these are the things that people have been stealing recently this is what we've caught people stealing and what they'll do is they'll go into like a grocery store or wherever they fill the entire shopping cart with detergent laundry detergent like pods yeah those pods i i was like first of all why and they're like those pods are like gold on the streets and i was like i was like the fuck are you talking

about yeah apparently everybody washes their clothes and uh you know the pods are a really easy way to like split up like a whole thing of detergent and like sell them on the streets and so these she's like that's eleven hundred dollars worth of detergent in that shopping cart you don't think about it but each one of those little containers is like 40 fucking bucks so they just like loaded the thing up with like the big boxes of it and so they're all out of the store they're like the beginning of the drug... They're the wholesalers. And then there are other people selling singles on the street. Yeah, there's a set of loosies, they call them.

Some loosies. Maybe you're out on the street, you're itching because your clothes are dirty. And you need... No, you're... I gotta get some top odds! You're farming yourself some fucking ant larvae. Personally. And when you're done with that, you're not. I gotta get some top pods. You're farming yourself some fucking ant larvae. Personally.

And when you're done with that, you're a little itchy. You gotta get your fucking pods in. That makes sense. Then you get your guac or your honey and you're good to go. So the best part is, if I had Mitty's job, I'd be like, I'd catch enough thieves that they'd keep me on. I would actively be watching

people stealing shit and just be like, I don't need to see that. There's no way I'm chasing somebody down in a parking lot over. Are you kidding? One of his friends. Somebody pulled a gun on one of his friends. Kyle just said he'd be lazy at work. You're like, he's kidding? One of Mitty's associate crab cops was out there and he was like hey give me that lobster

back and the guy was like get the fuck back in the store like pull a gun on him and he was like yes sir right away you have a good one did you get some butter you got some let me get you some like like and and so like but middy is such a go-getter, young man that he is, stout fellow that he is, that he has been really climbing the ranks of the Crab Cops. And so upper management has taken notice. King Crab Cop. Tell me this is true. What do they call that?

I swear it's true. And then they've said, they've said, Mitty? Sergeant. Middy, up until now, you're crab coffin. He's been promoted to General Mills. No, it's all naval ranks. He's a...

Admiral Nelson, whatever. He's Captain Crunch. He spoke to captain crunch himself down at hq and uh they said that up until now his crap cop and has mostly been amateur and they wanted to see if he wanted to step up to the big leagues like um what is the big league exactly exactly like that so midi so midi is being transferred to a different area i won't be too specific but but Middy's like, hey, Kyle, this is the place I'm going.

This is some footage from there when I can't remember who it was, a police shooting. This is right after that. And there are people dancing in the streets, jumping up and down, wearing masks, while an entire city blockburns.

He's like, yeah, that's why... That's the nice thing about going there. They just rebuilt the store. It's all new stuff. Is he getting a little pay boost for putting himself in the line of fire, potentially? No. People firing chicken nuggets

at his head or something? No, that's what I asked him. I was like, you're probably, now that you're like a sergeant in the crab cops, you're probably getting some more compensation. No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. Not at all. It's all about, it's not about that. You don't crab cop with a big bucks.

It's for the love of the game, and it's keeping those crab prices down for the average Joe. Kyle, you said you would be lazy with it and kind of just let them. No, that's not what I said. I said that I would. I said that. Yeah, Filthy said that. I would not want to get murdered over someone else's crabs.

Would you take, I'm thinking I would quickly. But you'd take the job. You just wouldn't do any of the labor associated with it. You just wouldn't do any of the labor associated with it. Look, I'll do some of the labor associated with it, but what I'm saying is I'm not going above and beyond the call of duty. Okay? I'm not looking to win the Medal of Honor. There's like one line.

The crab copping application, there's one line on there. It's like, catch the people stealing crab. You're like, not doing that one. I'm willing to practice my skills by watching i think i've played enough call of duty to consider myself a veteran yeah to some extent we all have and and look when when you're overseas and you're fighting left lefty the first thing you realize is that this is about getting home okay it's not about being some hot shot like like running around like like hunting people down we're not we're not looking to win

any medals here we just want to get home to our families that's what we always said over there yeah and you i know you wouldn't understand anything you would say you were a veteran in call of duty you started this story i'm talking about call of duty yeah yeah i don't know how you can confuse i would never steal valor that's oh it's a serious accusation you're making yeah woody if you could salute when speaking to an officer i don't know kyle would you take me out i get all this would you guys take cutbacks like a dirty cop yeah i would absolutely like i i would i would pursue people into the parking lot with the crab i say you keep a third of this a third of this you leaving the bushes over there the other third i take back in i'm the hero you win i win you come

back this time tomorrow yeah you'd be the you'd be the chickless of the fucking crab cops over time they'd call me the king crab well who's getting all these pilfering we're losing dozens of dollars today you'd have your own inside man in there stealing and then you'd be on the take though he'd slip you a few clusters you'd look the other way yeah but then we get too bold we smell like crab all day at work they decide you know it's predictable to rob the registers no we're robbing the the food area at the front quick in quick out but what we forget the hot dog soda combo is still a dollar fifty we only make out with like fifty two dollars it's true and now i'm now i'm on the run i'm on on the lam. Yeah, from the crab cops.

From the crab cops. From Middy. Middy gets word that one of his compatriots turned sour, and I've sullied the name of the crab cop, and he has to come after me. Hunt you down. Hunt you down. That's probably why Oscar was so accommodating.

He just assumed it was his regular crab shipment being flown in when Woody crash-landed. I bet Oscar would have been stoked to have crab. Oscar is so poor, he'll probably never be able to even look at a crab shoes are so many steps before crab yeah

like shoes is such a I mean shoes are so many steps can't even make those steps without the shoes it's pretty sad poor children speaking of yeah can't even make those steps without the shoes it's pretty sad oh you poor child she did it speaking of uh we were joking about kyle or filthy was joking about kyle like not working

for his his money in this in this hypothetical job thing yeah did you guys see this uh kerfuffle there's a there's a subreddit called anti-work yes and i've heard of the subreddit but i haven't seen anything from it so what's uh a mod from the anti-work subreddit went on fox news with jesse waters who i don't know how popular he is on fox news i've seen his face before like he looked familiar when i watched the clip it's only like a three minute clip but it is so fucking embarrassing and difficult to watch like the the person they and the whole subreddit of anti-work apparent i don't really follow it i just know of it but apparently beforehand they said like they took a big poll and were like do we want our mods going on an interview in media and Fox News or whatever?

And apparently the overwhelming response was like, no, no, don't do that. That's a terrible idea. This is a horrible, horrible idea. Don't do that. And this person went on and did it anyway. And they are. And like you hear Fox and you think like oh are they gonna like throw a sneaky b little question or try and throw them off their game or throw salt into the mix no it is the most

basic questions and this person just keeps digging themselves a hole so they first of all they get on the screen there's are we watching this or just you described no we can't watch it they can't watch okay yeah i'm just describing it. You can find it's like a three minute clip on YouTube. But the first thing you notice in the three minute like side by side is you've got the Fox News host. Good looking guy. Well dressed. Clean background.

Obviously, he's a news host. The other person, the mod of anti work is not looking at the camera. They're slumping, sitting over to the side. Their bed isn't made behind them. There is, there is, it is messy.

The lighting isn't right. And it's, it's just embarrassing to watch. And so you see this guy, Jesse asking questions at Jesse waters, the host being like, so anti-work like, uh,

first of all, just how, how old are you? And the person was like 30 it's a trans 30 year old and they're like okay and what do you do for work and he said she's she was like i'm a dog walker 30 year old dog walker and and he and jesse waters is sitting there like oh uh and and how many hours a week do you work and she was like uh 20 to 25 hours a week and he's like and you think that's too much you think that's just far too much and she was like not really answering that but instead of and i understand the frustration of people like who see the need for having conversations about workers rights, because that is very important. But what they got was someone who literally said this is a quote that this person said, laziness is a virtue.

Laziness is a virtue if you're if you're not engaging in like the capitalist over structure that is trying to force you to work and it was cataclysmic how bad it went for him i'm trying to see i wrote something else down uh about what the fuck oh yeah like he then asked her like okay so you you work 20 hours a week dog walking do you have any aspirations outside of that? And she was like, I want to teach philosophy. And it was like, dude, this could not have gone worse and looked worse. It is so uncomfortable. It makes the whole movement of those people look like they genuinely, it made them look like, despite any arguments they have, they're totally reasonable about workers' rights. It makes them look like despite any arguments they have, they're totally reasonable about workers rights.

It makes them look like a bunch of children who are like, I don't want to work. And so I went there today. I don't really I don't really go to that forum, but I went and looked around and like everyone like like 100 percent of comments that weren't removed by these mods were like, this is absurd to to send a single 30 year old dog walker who works 20 hours a week. By the way, someone went through... Aspiring philosophy professor. Aspiring philosophy professor. By the way, this person also had comments in their history that they were posting on the Reddit that was like,

I mean, I do work. I work two hours every day, five days a week. That's 10 hours a week dog walking. That's not 20 or 25. And it's like, oh my God. But every single person is like, this is a week. That's 10 hours a week. That's not 20 or 25. And it's like, oh my God. But like every single person is like, this is a disaster. They have humiliated the whole movement. Like at the, do you think it would have been better if they got a single parent who's working two jobs and is an insurmountable debt and inflation is causing problems. They can't

afford a home. They're, they're hemorrhaging money. Somehow they could afford a lower amount on a mortgage, but they can't afford – or they can't afford a lower amount on a mortgage. They can't afford a higher amount on rent. Someone who's off schedule to fill in for other people with no compensation. Someone who is scheduled to work, say, 9 to 5, but they routinely ask her to stay till 8, which brings daycare troubles like this is an area of the country where it's really expensive to buy a home can't afford a home while they're doing this they're just trying to make ends meet trying to get a better future for their kids and they just can't yeah wages have stagnated for 30 years meanwhile home prices are skyrocketing there are so many there's so many angles you could take on this that it's like that's a good point that is a good point but instead and like the response from the forum is exactly how you think Reddit would handle it.

All of these anarchists, a lot of the mods are so-called anarchists. They immediately just come down like fascists. Like, no, you can't say that. You can't say that. They had another one of their mods post like a little update to everything. This mod described themselves as a a long unemployed 21 year old that that just means you've never worked yeah right like that that just means you haven't had a job yet and so like and now they're like the mods decided to put this person it's it is just

wild to see like the mods of a forum which is like all you're doing you're just fucking mods you're not leaders of any movement you just make sure that people don't say shit that's against terms of service for them to foist themselves and be like we'll do interviews on mainstream media to not be smart enough to realize that accepting a mainstream media interview from fox as an untrained mod on a reddit forum they're gonna they're gonna clown you i know oh fox news they're so stupid no they're professional news anchors you think any of us could go up there with anderson cooper or fucking uh the the right wing guy tucker you think we would get trounced by them because they know

the medium they know the format they're not doing free speaking stuff they know the right way to phrase things it might have helped too like there could be a team in the in that earpiece that they're listening to yeah that's true too i don't i something tells me there was the the only sounds he wasn't getting in that this interview in that ear was just howling laughter because i guarantee he had some like gotcha questions they didn't even get to it the big get got is where how old are you and what is your occupation the whole team's uh really enjoying this you take this one here you got it you got it we're just gonna watch ask her about the dogs hey ask her how many dogs she walks in a week and then do the math these are some pretty long dog walks how many

right 25 hours a week right wasn? Wasn't that what it was? That was the lie. The reality was 10. All right. Let's say it was 25. Let's say you're walking each dog for an hour. So that could be 25 dogs if you were dumb enough to do each dog one at a time. That's like a premium service, right?

We've seen dog walkers before, right? They look like a kid holding as many balloons as he can hold there's bunches of them they charge by the pound because i could walk 10 unruly chihuahuas but only one unruly great dane yeah they charge more for different classes of dogs i think they got you got like an excel dog that's a i never realized how absurd dog walking is as a as a thing you get a dog and you're like, I'm going to take this animal. I'm going to take this animal home and I'm going to take care of it. But I'm not going to do even the basic minimum of giving it a walk.

I'm going to farm that out to someone else to do this for me. Because I want the dog, but I don't want to do even a walk. That's insane. In my opinion, the dog walk hirer is out working, right? So the dog walker is letting the dog go to the beginning of bathroom break during the day, right? I think that's the scoop. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I think normally so. I doubt it's like you're relaxing on the couch and like, have the help do it. I mean, some people I'm sure are, you know, right? Like, but probably not most it's probably like a daycare for dogs kind of thing which is the cutest thing ever right like like when my friends like send their dogs to daycare they take a picture of the dog like like during the day and they give them a little report card and they they're like they're like roscoe didn't really enjoy Josephine, but he's

best friends for life with Roger. My wife is attempting to talk to her dog right now. There's a picture of him and Roger, and Roger's like a basset hound, and Roger's like, who plays now? And it's like, oh, shit. Those are so funny.

And then you realize it's just some drunk employee. It's sitting in the back 15 minutes before you arrive fucking scooter loves what else uh uh alex is a republican you're talking about a mega hat on. Dylan is suspended from daycare for racist behavior. And he pooped on the ground. He stays away from all the blonde dogs. He assaulted a chocolate lab.

It's a hate crime. Woody, I told you before the show, I got recognized in Tarkov, but I didn't tell you the details so i was playing today early this morning i was on i was playing tarkov and i wanted to snipe i haven't done that much this wipe so i got myself a sniper rifle found myself a nice bush and i sat in it and i've been sitting there for maybe 10 minutes just waiting on somebody to cross a big lane and i heard a voice behind me in the game and voip

and it said oh my god it's you i'm a huge fan how could they have known who you are by seeing you live streaming were you no i was live streaming to the discord you know i was in the 50 patron discord by the way sign up uh make sure you do it by the end of the after the end of the month if you want a full month if you were to sign up right now you get like four days so jumping there i've been we've been playing a ton of tarkov in there and i of the month, if you want a full month, if you were to sign up right now, you get like four days. So jump in there. We've been playing a ton of Tarkov in there, and I need some fucking killers. If you're a fucking Tarkov killer, a fucking Chad Thundercock, I need some assistance, and I'd love it if you joined the

$50 Patreon. We'll play together all day. So no, this person says, Kyle, I'm a big fan. I can't believe it's you. I'm kind of a big team killer. Are you interested? Yeah. And so, I mean, I don't care. You can take my my gear set i'm rich as fuck so i turn around i look and here this guy is in the air 20 feet up flying and i'm like yo what's up man and he's like not much i'm a huge fan i'm in the patreon and i'm like well i'm in the Patreon. And I'm like, well, I'm in the $50 patron discard right now. Streaming this thing.

He's like, well, I'm not in that one. I get, I get PK in early. I'm like, oh, okay.

Okay. I'm like, I'm like, so you're saying he's a hacker. Yeah. No, no. Like he does the $10 one.

So he gets PK in. So it's like, um, it sounded like you're like, he's not paying 50 bucks. Fuck him. I interpreted that he was in one that steals the show, but yeah, sure. it sounded like you're like he's not paying 50 bucks fuck him that's what i was saying i interpreted that he was in one that steals the show but yeah sure no no so he says uh i uh i'm

a big fan i'm like so you're you're you're cheating huh he's like yeah i love the cheat i'm like so you can see like everything and when you look at me because i've seen these sheets on on youtube landmark showed some off a while back or exposed them, I guess you could say. And you see, he's basically Neo in the fucking matrix. He sees an, a rectangle around my character and it's got like a,

like all my information. He knows my kill death ratio. He knows the entire value of everything that I'm carrying. He's like, he's like, you've got a 3.44 KD and you're, you've carrying 276,000 rubles worth of gear. And I was like, holy shit. He's like, you've got a 3.44 KD, and you're carrying 276,000 rubles worth of gear. And I was like, holy shit.

He's like, stay right there. And he went, and disappeared like a fucking bat out of hell. And he came back three minutes later, and he dropped all this gear at my feet. And he's like, I took it right out of his hands. Jesus Christ, you didn't even kill the guy. I don't think he even had to kill the guy. I think he's able to like, undress him.

And he's like, give me that. And the character's just like, what did you, you took my shit? Yeah, fuck you. Took your gun first, so the rest came easy. And he threw his gear at my feet, and I felt bad taking it, but I was just like, you know.

You're not going to not take it. It was like an SKS or just like, you know, I'm going to piss him off. It was like an SKS or something like that. I mean, Spitty's not there. You can take whatever you want. Yeah, it was like an SKS or something. I didn't ruin someone's life or anything by taking that, so I took his SKS and told him I didn't like what he was doing, but thanks for watching the show.

But if you see an AK out there... Hey, I do. I'm more of a mutant kind of guy next time. If you could hook me up with a big pile of mutants, that'd be sick. But seriously, though, don't cheat, dude. The reason he's cheating, though, he told me that people pay him

to go in and clear out a lobby for him. He'll go in and just fucking kill all the players and be like, here you go. Have the map. It's free now. And I guess there's people who need that money have the map it's free now and uh and i guess you know there's people who need that money or maybe it's just super lucrative maybe it's not like pennies maybe it's like thousands of dollars i really don't know but uh under raid the rogues

to like go there and try and clean them out or is it too hard is it um i'm not very good at it i i take nibbles instead of bites so i'll go and I'll kill like two and get their stuff and leave. Like killing two is easy. Like two of them in particular. The other ones don't get you when you do that? At night, you can be sneaky enough that you can get it done.

But like what most people do and the people that are good at it is they get up on the rocks. They know exactly where they all are. They shoot them all in the head. The problem is when you go down there, there are roaming teams of ai that you've got to deal with of rogues and i there are levels to the ai

difficulty in tarkov now and it's not just scav and then like raiders and then boss like there's like levels to this shit labs raiders i shit on i'm not labs raiders are nothing right now they've been tuned down to the point where like i'll style on them i don't care um don't get me wrong i get scared when there's a lot of them or when they push me or something that's not fair but but like if i can if they're at range or when they're standing still i shit on them or if there's like one of them pushing you like i'm not afraid of him but um like like gluhar on uh reserve is overpowered as fuck like they gotta tune him down he's he does that's too much like nobody can fight that and the rogues because i'm not good i'm maybe i'm just not good enough

or i haven't tried enough but they like insta kill me when i try to kill the roaming ones it's very very difficult i think you need to know some cheeky spots to like lean peek out from to to really like farm them effectively but lighthouse in general is free money um it's just free money every every time we go in you just walk out with a backpack full of the rarest loot you know millions of rubles um but the last rate of the night that we just did a minute ago before we started the show like one of my friends was like ah i'm almost broke i'm like it's got a lighthouse i'm i was like here pick that up pick that up pick that up and we made like a million and a half rubles

in seven days. Larry's good at that too, like to guide people to loot spots. Yeah, Larry and I have been playing together all day, just about every day, and like we've got that map dialed in pretty well. It's free money. It's been a good wipe. It's been a lot of fun. I've been putting way too many hours into it, but

I think I'm level 40 or 41, 42, somewhere in there. I've got like max traders and like more money than i can ever spend so it's been good so with that level you've done probably two-thirds of the tasks did they do enough lighthouse tasks to make people play the map you don't need tasks to make people play that map um and but but the tasks that are there drive you to a very difficult part of the map. It's where the rogues are in the middle of their encampment. And I just didn't do those tasks. I just skipped over them.

They weren't required to like, you know, they weren't quest locking you from anything else. You could just avoid those. And so I just have. It's just not worth throwing the kits away to go. I was asking because i wonder if they made lighthouse so lucrative to get people to play it because there's like two ways you can force people on a map you can either put all the money there or put the tasks there yeah yeah yeah

yeah there's just a so so so much money there they've got to nerf it at some point because it's just broken and i've been so lucky that i've got like all the keys for it and and multiples of them when those run out so it's just it So it's a little bit too much money. I'm not losing interest in the game, but we're already finding new ways to make it fun. We've been doing Vietnam role play. So we all dress up in Vietnam gear and we only use Vietnam era weaponry and meds.

And then we go and we look for Charlie. We go in woods and we we do our we use our vietnam call outs it quickly devolves into a very racist uh uh situation goes without saying yeah yeah um but as soon as one of the one of those uh vietcong takes somebody out everybody starts starts screaming slurs but uh but no it's been super fun having a good time with Tarkov. And yeah, if you are like a Chad Thundercock murderer slayer out there with like a 10-20 KD or something,

I could use a 10-20 KD. You're asking for a hacker at that point. I mean, like an 8 KD is like just a good player, I think. That's where the top end of good is. I think Landmark might have an 8KD.

But he doesn't try for that. KD doesn't matter anyway. I guess when you really think about it. It depends what your goals are in the game. I could get an 8KD if I only shot scavs and avoided bigger problems. Yeah, didn't do any tasks. You never ran around the whole of Tarkov wearing blue armor with a dildo up your ass or whatever they try to make you do.

Much nonsense. What's going to happen between Russia and Ukraine over there? It looks like we're going to have a real-life Tarkov almost. I've been trying not to watch that. That's the angle you take. Yeah. It's like real-life Tarkov.

I'm going to go collect all the chapstick and the the fucking beads or whatever you know because that's kind of the premise of Tarkov to some extent you know they're fighting over a disputed piece of oh is Tarkov supposed to be in Russia

it is in Russia I thought it was like one of those unspecified a stand like a made up it is a fake town in Russia. Yeah, and it's sort of like over a territorial dispute, and instead of using real military, they're using

private military groups, so Russia's hired some guys, and the US has hired some guys, you know, like sort of Blackwater-esque, and you play as one of those guys. I thought Tarkov was a real place in Russia so I went on Google Maps hunting it down. I wanted to find the mall, Ikea

and you can't do that. It's not a real place in Russia. Some of the places are actual real places though. Some guy made this really cool YouTube video where he visits Shoreline and it's photorealistic. It's so good. The way they modeled it. Shoreline is the name's photorealistic. It's so good, like the way they modeled it.

Shoreline is the name of a Tarkov map. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes there to the resort, and I want to say that's where it was. I just saw a little bit of it. You were mentioning the Ukraine-Russia thing. I need someone to explain to me why I care about Ukraine's borders. I got to tell you i don't give a fuck ukraine never enters my mind i don't know what they do over there i don't care what they do over

there i i'm with you on this so like joe biden's policy so far appears to be keep your powder dry threaten sanctions so that you still have them, right? Don't just do it preemptively. And if Russia does something bad, we're going to try to make their life tough economically. And if we do that, they might do more bad things and then it can escalate. We can start a whole new Cold War. We've taken 8,500 troops and notified them that they might be about to be deployed to Ukraine. I think I have that right it's comedy show be careful about your news but um uh it looks like joe biden wants to defend ukraine and you kind of don't want russia to expand and take out ukraine i don't know this for sure but i'm pretty sure trump's policy would have been and i don't give compliments you know like desire to take the

step out of the way like let's split it maybe maybe if you understand perhaps america could do the same south of our border if if trump's take was like look let's fucking split it you come in from the east we'll come in from the west we'll meet in the middle fucking bro out fuck these ukrainians and like what what would the reaction be okay honestly that one selfishly being able to travel that far from the u.s without a passport for vacation would be that that'd be pretty nice those ukrainian ladies aren't looking so bad now are they it depends on their age i didn't know i feel like i feel like it's either supermodel or like five foot one like hunchback pushing a wheelbarrow full of you know carrots or something

it's one of those i think they're all looking like Melania. Oh, is she Ukrainian? She's Slovenian, I believe. That's pretty close. That's in the same... That's close enough. That's in the same mix-em-up. That's how Eastern Europeans would agree. We're all about the same. There are huge ethnic and cultural divides everywhere.

I was... They have a long A. I was in a call with a Canadian and a European and maybe an Australian today. And someone mentioned something about geography. And I was like, look, I'm going to be real with you. They don't teach us geography here. At least not in high school. And that's where I went.

So I'll be real real i don't know what the capital of your country is so when you so so i really you've really lost me here and and this was the canadian i was talking to because i can never remember what the fucking capital of canada is and i gotta ask am i the only one here who doesn't all right off the bat know the capital of canada i only know here i can name some off the bat, know the capital of Canada? Who here? I want a show of hands. Who here knows the capital of Canada? I know the capital because I follow hockey.

Okay, so I don't know the capital, but I will guess. No, no. Go through the Canadian hockey team names and you will know. Well, there's more than one. Toronto. Maple Leaf one. Toronto. Maple Leafs. Montreal.

Canadians. Vancouver. Canucks. Ottawa. Ottawa. What the fuck is the Ottawa? The Senators. The Ottawa Senators. That's the only that's the only

that is the only reason i know i was about to say the capitals but the washington to the capital confusing if there were the canadian capitals like to those of you i'm sure there's some like german listening to the show who's like i know the capitals to dozens and dozens of countries but like where they really don't teach us any of that shit like like we spend entire years on like the civil war like i think there was an entire year of history where we learned nothing but like the civil war and then there was another entire year where we learned nothing but like four fucking years of american history in high school and high school and middle school it's great the

civil war over and over country's only 200 years old i spent four years learning about that 200 my dad tells me stories him as a kid in england having to learn all of the kings of in queens of england all the way back that sucks man young country privilege right there american history is the best subject because by the time you're like in early high school, you could not pay attention at all. And you already know enough to get a C. You're just starting there. Maybe you guys had different experiences. Every single American history class was like, you cover the revolution, then you skip 70, 80 years. I don't know anything that happened between 1776 and the Civil War. I couldn't tell you one fucking thing.

Maybe the cotton gin. But they never covered that period. It was just 100%. And then they signed the Declaration of Freedom. Can I interrupt you? I watched Alexander Hamilton live wondering, does he become president? I got one for you. I learned about

the war of 1812 in the year 2012. They just didn't teach us that shit. Because that's the one where they came back and burnt the White House down. They just glossed over that whole event. i'm not even sure what we were fighting over world war one we were undefeated that sounds like we took a loss yeah world war one i don't know

like aside from like stuff i've done on my own reading about it don't know shit about world war one spanish-american war couldn't tell you what that was over i don't even know who was in it this that's what the i think that is the alamo that was a good one yeah there's some good movies about that even then i think of alamo even as the brand of beer hank hill drinks well it is yeah but even more so than remember the alamo well what i'm getting at is you you got you the rest of you educated youths throughout the world. You have to forgive us and ease up a little bit. That would be kind of a funny game. And it'd be really embarrassing to try and list the capitals of European countries.

I couldn't do it. It'd be funny for like the first four misses. And then it would just be miss, miss. My geography is on the level that I attempt to write Australia, autocorrect to Austria and go with it. Yeah. attempt to write australia autocorrect to austria and go with it yeah hitler was australian and all these g's running around you know something's got to be done you know oh austrian yeah kangaroos after people it's quite embarrassing playing eu4 on stream which is uh you

know a map of the world and i'm like that's there that was a really good for geography that's better geography that i've gotten for all of my education yeah it's really unfortunate because uh i think my best history teacher was in the 10th grade because he went off script i felt like like he talked talked things that he was passionate about um i think i've talked about him before he's the one that like taught us about the uh the the peloponnesian war and uh you know the whole thing the spartans and the the gates of thermopylae and all that stuff got me really passionate about that so when the movie came out the zack snyder movie i was like oh historical spartan movie awesome and you know it came out was all wild and crazy with monsters and stuff i thought that was just cool but uh i don't know most of most of my history

was american history and anything else that i know literally came from the fucking history channel i remember we didn't even start world War II until like the 11th grade and everybody was blown away that I knew who all the Axis powers were and it was like, who the fuck are you people? You've never watched the History Channel? Like, no one there had ever seen the History Channel. That information has since been deleted from your brain

in favor of details from 80s movies. I mean, do you want to know more about predator or have you ever taken those like uh it's like i think sporkle sporkle's the website and it does like quizzes and stuff and they have ones for geography where it'll be like i'll build my confidence i'll do the the u.s states because i know all those and then i'll you go to the world and I like try and give myself like an area bonus of like, all right,

United States there. That's pretty big Canada. That's a huge portion of the map. We just knocked off boys. All right. Russia, China, Australia,

Italy, Germany, France, UK, Ireland, something else is in there. All right. Now,

now we wait, uh, Mexico flew South America. What's going on? The long ones, UK, Ireland. Something else is in there. Now we wait. Mexico, South America. The long one's Chile. The big one's Brazil. Argentina's south somewhere. Cuba. If you watch any of the streamers, they'll do the geo-finding game where they'll

get a picture and they'll be like, yeah, it's definitely Sweden. I'm like, what? I don't even know where Sweden is on a map. How can you tell's sweden for a picture of a road with the road sign you know it just blows my mind sometimes oh i've lucked out in that game i played it on stream like a year ago a couple times and it's fun i'm not doing it i remember one time easily like i was like in the middle of some like eastern european or some nordic country i thought it was eastern european and then like, just by happenstance,

I like click into an intersection and there's just like a guy wearing a t-shirt with the Swedish flag on it. It's like, yes, yes. Once again, hockey. That's the only way I would know.

No, no, that sucks. You don't play magic anymore. Filthy. i was hoping we could talk about alchemy and how fucking dog shit that addition to the game has been but if you dipped that when did you when did you dip out i guess two sets two sets ago i got just really sick of it was it the dungeons and not the dungeons and dragons one that one was pretty shit the one after that i played a little bit the beginning of and kind of bailed afterwards so yeah, the mechanic, the D&D mechanic of entering the dungeon, that fell so flat.

I tried to make a couple decks out of it. And even min-maxing everything and taking a fun deck and trying to try hard at it, it was like, this is terrible. My win cons are horrific. I need to hope that two win cons occur at the same time. Historic is the way to go if you're going to jump back in like i know you mostly do draft yeah but you should definitely do some constructed historic because you love sitting down strategizing you know coming up with your own kind of homebrew yeah but you know what i like about that i like the efficacy of it i like

at the end of that i come back and i'm like look what i did look what i caused to happen and you know what magic does magic says a third of your games doesn't matter what you fucking did put together or did all you do is draw on the wrong ratio of lands to spells and you don't play a game so like yes i love magic when you get a good game but what percentage of your games are really you versus your opponent sitting down breaking down the strategies really gaming it out to its extreme the nth extreme versus how many games you have to play in between where it's just like i didn't draw land on land turn three and i lost a game because he tempoed me out you know it's like fuck that i understand

that frustration i definitely i do not get fucked over a third of games with that and it depends on what that constructed has a lot more robustness to that draft is particularly bad for that i like okay that's fair with draft yeah like i did i forgot you're talking about just draft like because historic i spend so much time tacking those deck like my best deck right now is like an artifact uh you know ramp basically just get to ugin or ulamog as fast as you can and fuck them up quickly and like that one probably 75 80 win rate because it it it doesn't miss really like if someone plays elves they can fuck me up before i can get my shit going or goblins but other than that it does all right uh draft i totally know what you mean i hate spending 1200 gems or whatever that you saved up

because you like kept getting 20 gems a piece in your packs and then you buy in and then you get your first pack and it's like all right a totally unplayable multi-color rare that's good that's good and by the end of it i've gotten to the end of drafts after paying to buy in and i look at my list of cards i drafted and i'm like resign like i i can't even do anything with this like you get halfway through your first pack and then you realize oh everybody that people are drafting red i need to ditch red i'm going to green there's some green here oh one pack later oh no someone else is taking green ahead of me in the in the curve but the epitome of magic fuckery is the tournaments too right because you go all right well there's a high degree of variance of whether or not i'm gonna draw well enough to play this

game and that's in of itself annoying right you're like okay this this particular draft i have to i have to scrap this draft because i go zero and three with a good deck because i just fucking land screwed two of them or something right so it's even worse when it's now tournaments and you know i've played a number of twitch rival tournaments you know there's a there's a drafting tournament that's weekly that i've played in and won a couple you know one once and played it a couple times and really liked i like the idea of it it's just when you're playing it you're just like all i'm doing is every time i get my first hand of seven cards i'm going please please please please have the same fucking ratio of lands to spells that i can play the game that's like we were and like your top deck is always just like please don't be another land please don't be

another land that's all i'm doing when i'm playing magic and it's just like at some point you're just like i want a game where i have some fucking control over the outcome like i want to be able to yeah yeah that shit's obnoxious because like you just don't have enough control with draft because there's no way you're going to draw into like three viable combos even like for the most part unless you have like a baked in combo card but with like constructed i i dealt with that same thing when i first started arena it was before i put any money at all into the game because i didn't want to like do that and so i would get manna fucked but once you finally like unlock enough rares that you get all the dual lands

which takes fucking forever unless you want to spend money like you can pretty much survive consistently with your land like every deck i make and constructed now, I have so much card draw in it. It doesn't even matter if card draw is totally ancillary to it. I have at least one or two mechanisms to accelerate a bunch of card draw because, I mean, card draw fixes everything. That's the most powerful thing you can have. Like, oh, you need more creatures? Card draw fixes

it. You need more counters? Card draw. See, I think you'd really enjoy constructed. You'd have a bunch of fun doing what I do, which is taking a huge amount of time, building a deck, and then winning like 10, 15, 20 times with it, and then being like,

I want a new deck, and then going in and trying to build another one. But it sounds like you don't net deck probably, from what I'm hearing. Oh, like usually... You don't search like the decks that are winning the highest percentage of games and then like plug in and play that kind of deal because a lot of the i feel like the format go ahead yeah usually what i do is i go on i have that overlay thing

the ethernet or whatever ether deck uh that you click on and it shows like the meta and so usually what i'll do is i'll i'll go there go Constructed and see what the winningest decks are. And then if I do use a deck list, there's a lot of swipping and swapping and moving things in. Because oftentimes you'll open those decks and it's like if you know anything about Magic, you're like

oh, this is the top rated deck from this category. This is the best mono green ramp. Well, that card in there is fucking retarded we're taking that out that card is way worse than this other one and so that's the easiest way to just get going is look for the best strategies and then tweak it to make it you know kind of your own like add remove stuff add card draw yeah maybe that's good enough like for me it feels like a system that didn't quite survive um time which is you, you might have had a world at some point where everything's not posted online.

In which case, you know, like the greatest deck builders are sitting there like brainstorming and testing and they come up with a sweet deck and, you know, they win a tournament with it. There's no one seeing anything quite like it. You're sweeping it. There's like that card. Who thought about that card? That's so brilliant. Online, that's yesterday. You know, like you want the next best deck that's tomorrow you know like i don't really feel like i feel like

the strategy part of building the deck is not super relevant anymore because the second you crack the code for that everyone has that and that's the deck you're playing against and then you're you know and so i don't know because you've never done it for me it's just that's the deck you're playing against. And then you're, you know, so I don't know. The constructionist has never done it for me. It's just... That's totally fair. I know what you're saying. Because, like, there are definitely times even playing constructed. Like, I play, like, a colorless artifact deck right now because nobody is playing colorless artifacts. Like, you look at, like, the meta thing.

Like, and it says what percent of the meta in historic is a given deck or archetype. 10% of decks one out of 10 are elves that's absurd i have an elf deck i haven't played it in a long time because i don't want to fucking play the same thing everyone else is like it can still be fun playing your own kind of mix but it gets old when every second game or third game you're playing the person puts down their first card and i know immediately their strategy. I know immediately every subsequent card. I know what they're going to do. Not that I'm a genius or anything.

Like, every player knows that because they're like, oh, it's an is-it control deck. Okay, they're going to play red. They're going to play blue. They're going to play draw three cards, keep one in your hand, put two in your gray. They're going to play this, draw two, and discard. Like, that does get annoying.

But it is the only strategy card game, the only strategy game at all, that I'm actually pretty good at and have a good feel for. So it's all skill when I'm winning. It's all luck and mana screws when I'm not. Yeah, I kind of wonder, like, the only format I haven't really touched, I've done some Construct. I did some Construct on stream a couple years ago,

and it was okay for a while. I didn't really enjoy it. I didn't enjoy following that through the extra sets and the phases of it and blah blah blah i wanted to go to one of these big in-person uh tournaments at some point i never did that and then kovid kind of fucked that up for everyone and then watsi canceled it and i don't like watsi as a company particularly but i wish kind of i had gotten into what is watsi wizards of the coast oh i never i never heard that okay okay um anyway i had a i had a bit of a have i not told this story on the pk before no no no i don't think so okay

uh let's do you have a second yeah we're very tight on time on painkiller yeah i know you rarely yeah you can can fit everything you want four hours yeah okay please continue so um this was a couple years ago uh magic the gathering arena which is their their flagship client right now which is the one that taylor's playing on and i've done a lot of streaming on was in beta uh i was streaming a lot it was pretty big for my channel at the time and there weren't a lot of people that swapped over swapped over yet of the pure magic players they hadn't swapped over yet from the previous client to this new client and a lot of the people who were playing in paper this was back when the league still existed they were

playing in papers all the all the pro magic players were still playing paper tournaments and going to paper tournaments, because they hadn't canceled all the paper tournaments for COVID. And then finally, their business strategy. So anyways, so it's a good spot for me. And they introduced their first of these mythic invitational tournaments. And this invitational tournaments are these these big deals for them. Initially, the first one it had, it was like to be invited, I think I can't remember the price now in my head it's 3 000 but it might have been 2 000 or something if you went if you got invited that was just to pay out for going and then you could win up to i think i think it was a half million was the total the first place prize or something like that it was it was

it was a big chunk of money right so it was like it was a big deal and this was their like reveal as they revealed the new tournament structure they're doing away with physical magic as a tournament thing that watsC as a company supports and they're doing just this online magic. I didn't get invited to this. I was, it was like, they invited, they had a number of invitation, a number of slots. They invited a large number of pro players

and they also invited a large number of streamers and content creators. And I was like looking through this and like, maybe they invited like the top, maybe they invited 25 magic streamers or something, right? I'm looking at this, I'm like 10th highest views of magic over time you know like i'm way up there and i'm like what the fuck what happened so i you know i emailed their emailed my my contact person there was a large enough streamer doing this you know a contact person there and i had people like

sending me shit and blah blah blah and they're like oh there's a variety of reasons um you know whatever so but anyway anyway they didn't never told me why they said there's a lot of a lot of special interest looking for this you didn't get accepted and i was basically like look this is because you've been on this show well maybe well i don't actually you know it's not far off that i don't think it's this show in particular but i also i do think it was a uh pr thing right like anyways but i don't know that i never got any confirmation of why never got told why never got told what i could do differently to potentially be invited to the next one and as i said like invited at all was a couple thousand dollars they flew you out to this thing it was a live thing it's a big promotion for your channel and then like the winning blah blah right anyways so i'm there um that the day of that tournament

i'm streaming magic with a buddy um he's on comms with me we've been drinking all day and it's like you know it's sunday end of the tournament like end of that tournament it's like 5 p.m and i get a raid from the magic the gathering channel for like 13 000 viewers right and i'm and i'm like maybe like i'm maybe like i don't know at this point like 800 people on my channel or something watching me at this point like and i get a rain for 13 000 people and i'm drinking and i'm mid-rant about watsi fucking me over for not inviting me to this tournament and being shitty about their about their relationship of of telling me why like i i think it's a really natural reaction to be like hey by all the metrics that you would use to choose people i wasn't chosen so what was the deal how do i fix this for the future i think it's a really

reasonable question to ask i was really offended i never got a good answer from that from their pr weasley shit and i'm mid-rant there and i suddenly have this you get one of these moments you're like i've got two options here i can suddenly hypocritically be like hey thanks for the raid it's great they're all here i love you what a great company or i can just continue doing what i was doing and i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna do that so i just kept on with my rant kept going with that and i'm pretty certain like 99.99 certain i got that raid because i was the largest magic streamer streaming at that moment they didn't look to see who that was and the reason i was the largest fucking magic streamer in that moment streaming was because they didn't invite me to the tournament and i'm just like

what the fuck am i supposed to do with this so anyways i don't i don't that's hilarious i think i may have you know may have burned that relationship just a little bit you don't think you're getting invited to the next tournament to you no i don't think there's a lot of future for my stream in particular with that company by and large you were you were mentioning wanting to go to like a big tournament and something like that and i only like i went to lots of friday night magics but before i was into magic i played the lord of the rings trading card game which is in retrospect very embarrassing but i was i was genuinely really fucking good at that

game you talked about like trying to find a combo that no one else was using and using it i genuinely found one i found a combo it was uh no one out there has played lord of the rings but it revolved around a card called trolls or troll keyword i think it was but it was it was really good nobody thought of it trolls were these big tough creatures that were impossible to get out on the field because they were so expensive and i found a way to like cheat them onto the field in a way that like worked at a bunch of tournaments and stuff. It took a good bit for my combo to go off because it was infinitely harder in this game to make combos go off than magic.

Magic, you'll get a card that says, every time you discard a card, deal a damage to your opponent. And then his other effect is, discard a card if you want. That's the way magic combos go. But this, it's like you had to combine a bunch of things. But I went to Worlds in – it was Gen Con 2006. So I was 15, 16 years old. And I went there with a friend of mine and his dad.

He took us. I must have been 15. Yeah, neither of us had our license. And we went there and we played in the Lord of the Rings tournament, had a bunch of fun with that. And then the Magic tournament was near that. And obviously, Lord of the Rings was a tiny little, you know, it was a fucking like the size of a football stadium like warehouse. And it was maybe fucking, you know, 60 feet by 60 feet where all the Lord of the Rings guys were.

And after me and my buddy got knocked out of the whatever quarterfinals, whatever it was for the Lord of the Rings tournament, we went over and he'd played magic. And so I started playing magic at that, at that side. That's where I learned it was on cold snap. Some, some very,

I still remember a really super friendly black guy, you know, sat like he was sitting across from me. He just taught me how to play. We played like four or five games together. He just taught me all the keywords and everything. It was a bunch of fun. But the next day I went back and we decided to say fuck lord of the rings trading card game because that we knew the game was going out it was

the last fucking year they were doing it because the company went bankrupt because of some embezzlement or something i think and so the next day i went back and we played magic and in a big group this time the previous time was just a couple stragglers from like the tournament. This time it was the full group. And like you would think it was a meme that these guys smell bad. That's what I've been told. It's genuinely not a meme. A lot of these guys, I'm sure they're nice guys, are visibly disgusting.

Like clearly have not showered in days. They're walking in the door to the tournament, greasy hair, greasy, shiny face, splotches of, like, wiped marks on their shirt, like that level. And for some reason, they think it's, like, okay because everyone around them is behaving that way too, or a lot of them are.

It is disgusting how gross they were. There is a meme from like 12 years ago of this guy who went around to magic, the gathering tournaments. And all he did was like tent his fingers and do a knee, like a one knee behind guys whose ass cracks were hanging out. And so, and there are hundreds of photos of him doing this at like one magic tournament, one big magic tournament. It's just like scrolling of him, like going like that, kneeling by guys, enormous, hairy ass cracks.

It is it's a genuine problem. I can see why women don't feel comfortable coming to these tournaments and playing because a lot of these guys are fucking gross. Not all of them, not even a majority. But all it takes is a very vibrant and jiggly minority to ruin the representation of everybody there which i don't care for i don't care for it all at the same time though like if you're like like kyle if kyle decided he wanted to get into magic and then kyle went to a friday night magic i feel like you could almost intimidate and alpha your way through the tournament.

Through veiled threats, and if you bring a gun... A gun? Then I can go back to prison? Where you can teach all your friends magic, the gathering, and then they'll rape you for being gay. And then he'll be on the other side of the field.

I don't know. There was something about the community element that was fun. I don't know. There was something about the community element that was fun. I used to do the Friday night drafts. We'd go up. We'd do the draft, which is a couple hour event as you play that. If you did well in a small tournament, you'd win enough

to pay for what you entered with. And then you go out to a bar. There's a bar in walking distance of there with a couple friends. We'd sit down and drink beers the rest of the night. like that was a fun night like got to play some games got to hang out with some buddies got to drink some beers like that wasn't too bad all in all so i kind of i sometimes feel like the downside of playing all the games online is you lose a little bit of the the fun of doing these in person there's a different camaraderie the social the social bit of it which is totally something like it is it's fun to to socialize and like

like you don't think about it but it's like you're you're now you're a bunch of people in a room who all have an intense interest like there's a big group of people who play magic the gathering a much smaller rest of the world is like what the fuck is that shit what's going on like everybody's there and they all have the same kind of obsession over the same game and it's like refreshing almost you know where it's like you can bring up some obscure reference to a card like oh remember blah blah and they'll be like yeah that was wild and it's like man this is neat i i got uh this was like seven no oh my god it's 2022 okay so like eight years ago now with my my girlfriend at the time, we went to a two headed giant tournament and a two headed giant tournament is more for like beginners. And it means it's two

V two. So two people on this side of the table, two people on my side of the table and you work together. It's, it's almost like a way to try and encourage new people to get into the game. Cause usually there's not two experienced players on one side yeah is it are you sharing a deck so you're kind of like we're deciding on the moves together or so uh so you have two decks and it's almost like instead of having one front versus your opponent it's two fronts versus two fronts you share a life total you share you can look at each other's cards uh so you get some collaborative stuff for that yeah and and i remember we went and it was our first time going to this particular game store. And we sat down across from this guy that had like in our first game. And it was him and his friend and me and her sitting there and we were going to play.

We didn't have like super competitive decks or anything, just there to like have some fun at the game shop. And we start playing through this game. And this guy we're playing through this game and this guy we're playing against has like a speech impediment and i don't know what it is but like people with speech impediments probably because i make my living through talking is like i have so much empathy like it breaks my heart when someone has a speech impediment it really like makes me feel sad for them because it's really it's difficult it's a difficult thing think about it you know and so like he was like he had a speech impediment.

So like he would say things like, Oh, you can't tap your card like that. That's not allowed because I just played this. And like, I would be like, okay. Like just usually you kind of just agree like in a friendly way.

Like I wasn't like hard reading the cards or anything. We find out like near the end of the game in one particular move. I can't remember this fucking speech impediment. Asshole was cheating us the whole time. Like, I think he literally pulled the card into his hand, like from his lap. And we were like,

Hey, the end of this game happened. He, and the end of the game happens and he's like, all right, I win. You can't block all this. And I'm like,

that last end step, you played this. You can't play that. That, or I'm sorry, at the beginning of our turn, this turn, you played this. That's a sorcery. You can't play that that or i'm sorry at the beginning of our turn this turn you played this that's a sorcery you can't play that that's only your turn and then he like called a judge or something over and the guy was like not serious just like okay

yeah you win you win because he was like the friend of the game store who came there all the time because he didn't have friends not because he spoke odd because he's a fucking cunt and he cheated us out of that and i remember being like angry like dude you fucking bitch like if i had like taken the time to read all the cards and i wasn't just being friendly because i felt bad for you i would have dominated you i would have finished it because i had and then he's like upcoming turn yes taylor i'm well aware that you would have done exactly that now hand me my trophy boy that pissed me off i still i'm thinking about that now pisses me off that piece of shit magic game what an asshole so i played magic as a little kid too right like um middle school kind of stuff my brother and i would go to these tournaments my brother's two years younger than

me so even middle school you know he's a couple years younger me a little little kid when we do this we go into these places and we dropped off they held them at like restaurants like um Perkins at our when I was I lived in Watertown New York growing up and uh there was a Perkins there that had a big fucking conference room and they would do these tournaments and my dad would drop us off for the day and we'd come can come get us like eight hours later we'd play the tournament right I remember one of these we went into and you know we're little little kids there i'm maybe 10 my brothers maybe like eight or something right and we're at this tournament and do you know what mana weaving is in magic so again it's two seconds this i promise won't go long um there's a resource in magic called lands and that's how you cast all your stuff you don't

have enough land you can't play you have to have a ratio of lands to to other cards so one of the ways you were taught as a little kid to do this is you put one land than two cards and one land than two cards and one land than two cards and that gets your ratio all the way through your deck so he did this apparently that's illegal we didn't know this yeah that's that's illegal right but the guy he played against he sat down against him this guy's in his i don't know 30s probably right sat down and took his deck and took two cards and instead of shuffling took his deck and counted it out opposite the mana weaving all the way so that separated all of his lands from all of his non-land cards what a champion all the non-land cards on top so that meant my little brother who's eight

years old or something playing this tournament gets his first tournament he plays this he plays against a guy who's so serious he's playing against a fucking eight-year-old that he can't even play any card in his deck because he was cheating with the man it's just like you play against something like that and you're just like oh my god these fucking people like it was just that that is funny he knew that he knew that you were man weaving i've never heard that term i just always heard like stack in your deck yeah that's right so before we jump to the next thing your eight-year-old brother was worth his shit he'd win anyway yeah he would have if he had the skill to participate in such an elite high IQ

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I was on a van with 11 other pilots headed to launch in Mexico telling the story of Lock and Load. Kyle was working on the size of his ejaculate. And then it turns out Taylor was secretly formulating his ejaculate load. And then you put your peanut butter in my chocolate moment where they combine formulas and the lock and load was born and we contacted a supplement company and we made it all go and and it ends with me being a mogul in the jizz business and then afterwards people are hitting me up on WhatsApp like, hey, for a friend,

what's the link to that? So I'm not doing door-to-door sales. That's good. It's mostly in the back of a truck, it sounds like. Yeah, yeah. Talking to a bunch of men in the back of a truck about how much you come, what's straighter than that? Just a bunch of guys

having sex. It was funny because people were talking about their exit strategies right there's one guy who bought a mill who can make anything so long as within like 12 by 14 by 14 inches there's another guy who was talking about making the best virgin olive oil ever visiting like olive farms and talking like he is an olive oil expert who just really knows what he's looking for in the raw ingredients to make premium olive oil he's like you take you unscrew the lid and it's just a different experience when you have premium olive oil and i'm okay i don't really i guess and then i tell my story of ejaculate enhancing and it was great yeah from from that ret, your story was far and away

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that I'm not. That is funny. I figured out... I'm in the jizz biz myself. I'm in the jizz biz. Oh yeah, business is booming. Turn of the century. Shout out to... That's the voice I imagined.

I just imagine you tipping little Oscar with a handful of lock and load. Oh, little Oscar, give this to your father you can have more siblings you can have a seventh and eighth brother i don't think it does anything for fertility does it no it hurts it can't hurt oh i don't know if that's true i would imagine that because it's like it doesn't make your any more sperm come out but your seminal fluid is there to make like i guess the sperm's journey a little more comfortable, a little more possible. And so the more seminal fluid you have, right, the better that is.

I mean, that makes sense. And I've noticed a propulsion improvement. Is this Cliff Hutchinson? Does Cliff Hutchinson have a medical cousin? Well, if you call me out, I don't know any of it. I don't know how it works, but those sounded like scientific words. Seminal fluid. The

testes. Those are words. Yeah. Probably scientists have said them. Yeah. You should write down the side of the model. Scientists have said these words lots of people lots of people are talking lots of people are saying like that's on the side lots of people have done man imagine if we could get a trump endorsement how hard could it be i mean probably pretty's for sale. Oh, everything's for sale.

We could get Biden to endorse these. I wish these were around the last time my dick got hard. It was 1978. I was at the pool. As soon as Bob Dole left the Senate, he started selling Cialis. Really? I could be wrong. I might remember it wrong.

He was a paid spokesperson for him? Yeah. Super Bowl commercial. It was a big deal. I think he's dead now, right? He's been dead for a long time. They just admitted it. 2021. Just a couple months ago. He almost made it to 100.

That's a damn shame. So did Betty White. It is Viagra kyle was right did she die i had to know yeah she died she died like uh did you not see like it was funny when she well it wasn't funny when she died because she died it was funny when she died in that like there were like time and a bunch of other uh publications and online publications had like locked and loaded ready to go articles like Betty White on how she's feeling at 100 and it's like I'm feeling like a million dollars

and then she died two weeks before those went live but RIP to her she had a good run how close to 100 was she wasn't she like two weeks two weeks that sucks the internet would have blown up if she hit 100 she's popular for reasons I don't understand How close to 100 was she? She was like two weeks. Two weeks. That sucks. The internet would have blown up if she hit 100.

She's popular for reasons I don't understand. I don't get it either. I feel like she's almost like ironically popular. And then people turned the ironically popular thing into like, oh, it's because she's so old and sweet. You know, it's wholesome. Like, I don't have any problem with Betty White. She's fine i even liked the golden girls back when it was on but i never thought of her as like a brilliant actress

who made my world better yeah i don't know what she did other than golden girls and i haven't seen an episode of golden girls in my life oh no in your life golden girls good it's good that was uh yeah that was not one of the shows my grandparents had on what'd your grandparents watch uh besides bull riding uh my grandpa like well bull riding and what's the really old western is it gun smoke yeah okay he liked gun smoke a lot that was on that like such a too um one that starts with a B. What is the other? Bonanza. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Now that you did the dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Okay, they had Bonanza on too.

You had Haas. He was my favorite. You had Little Joe. You had Ben Cartwright, of course, played by James Olmos, who was in the old Battlestar Galactica. It was a good show. Love Bonanza.

James, I've never heard anybody not call him Edward James Olmos. Oh, wait, I've got that mixed up. That's a different character. No, it's Edward James Olmos who plays the new Battlestar Galactica. But the guy who played Ben Cartwright, he was the old Adama in Battlestar Galactica. I don't know his name. It doesn't matter. I have no idea. Not watching that show.

Eventually I'll watch Battlestar Galactica because you've said it was so good. You said The Witcher was very good. My wife and I have been getting through The Witcher. We're like four episodes into season two now. I like it. I like Yennefer. She annoyed me throughout a lot of the first season

yennefer kind of just was a little irritating second season yennefer i like a lot more she's a more complex character yeah yeah i i don't think yennefer's the actress is pretty enough to play yennefer um so that always annoyed me i think she's just like okay looking she looks like i don't know a waitress um she doesn't look like what she looks like in the video game that's all i have to have to base things see i have no point of reference so all the characters seem fine to me i don't know she looks like some sort of like magical goddess beauty beautiful thing like like i don't know like perfect lady with giant titties like kind of character um like a comically beautiful character basically i got to that point in the

show you were talking about with the bard i haven't gotten to the bath scene yet but there's an additional scene like earlier in the season you didn't mention where it's just him like de-robing for no reason and it just shows like ab lines and like the under pack and the definition that that is so funny that the dude was clearly so put off by how jacked gerald was he was like can i be kind of jacked too like i won't be huge or anything does the bard have any like value outside of comedy he he has any value including comedy in a major way i don't know no i mean if he's there for comedy it's a a total failure. Yeah, he's OK. He does his best. He's cringy as fuck. I like his songs. Yes. Thank you, Filthy.

I was I was talking to Kyle about it and I was like, I fucking hate. I think I said I hoped the Bard character was killed by one of the monsters. I hate him. He's not he's he's uncomfortable to like every time he starts singing a song. I'm never like, whoa, this guy's singing. I'm like, all right, you know, I could probably pee and be back by the time this is wrapping up. Like, this is a good time to leave. First of all, I got the one song, the Toss a Coin to Your Witcher. I really like that song. It's so catchy.

What is wrong with you? Not only do I like that, anybody out there who agrees with me, um, get on Spotify and find like the metal version. I don't really even like metal, but it's like toss a coin to your witcher. Oh, dude, you're making my teeth hurt. Listening to you do that.

That is so, oh, it's so good. It's so good. I'm serious. You don't want my rendition. Obviously that Spotify, by the way,

if anyone wants that. But the actual metal version is really fucking good. I like the song. I like him. I like the bard. I think he's good comic relief. It's nice that you've got someone who actually has a soul there to sort of flesh out Geralt's like,

all the time. The little girl has a soul. Yeah. I wish I watched the first season of that maybe six years she will i like second season i watched the first one or half the first one and i thought well it wasn't that great but i'll come back to it at some point and my wife like binge watched the whole fucking thing and i was like i have no reason i have no reason to go back to it it's just okay it's it's not like super good or anything but uh it's certainly no game of thrones

or anything it keeps your attention the whole time yeah and i gotta say i'm not totally sold on the idea of video game ports to like book before the video yeah it was yeah it works well i was gonna i was gonna ask have you seen the league of legends um show which i have not read at all book no it wasn't a book it was they made a fucking they made a series about it like uh right like oh just based off a game i don't know anything about i haven't seen it so i don't know either way i've never played league of legends ever i don't i've even watched footage of it and i don't understand what's going on same same it's just not a game i've ever played so i don't know anything about it i'm aware of its incredible popularity yeah it's insanely popular so i was just curious if you'd

watch that it sounds like no okay you're not you're not big into league, right? Zach, did you think you have a comparison of the two Yennefers? Let's see. Like a, like a drawing. Oh, like the video game next to the actress. Sure. That's what I was.

Yeah. And I'm reaching towards the camera specifically for that. Let's see. Let's just. Let's look at this parody. Okay. Well, there you go. Okay okay i don't know

it looks pretty similar um well i i don't think so but i mean they're a little similar but it's like one of them's clearly the ugly one right like i don't i don't know okay maybe i kind of would i think the netflix girl looks better there. I mean, I like the pirate look on the model more. Way more. Yeah. Is the game a little more piratey than the show? Is she Indian?

I didn't. Zach said that she's Indian. The actresses. I had no idea that she was Indian. I didn't notice. I thought she was a white person with dark hair. I didn't that she was Indian. I didn't notice. I thought she was a white person with dark hair. I didn't know she was Indian. I thought she was like a tan Italian person or something.

Yeah, I just don't give a shit what her race is. But I guess I also didn't really think about it until just right now. No, I thought they did such a good job with Gerald. I think he looks exactly like the Witcher, to me anyway. And the hair just looks really good, whatever they're doing with his wig.

I like Geralt, and his hair is great. Looks good. It's cool. His eyes look really neat. Yeah. But sometimes, and I get the gruff voice is part of the character of Geralt, but sometimes the gruff voice is a little much for certain lines. A little bit of a Batman thing, right?

Where are the others? Where is Cece? I think I read this the other day. Maybe I'm wrong. I think so. That originally in the Christopher Nolan Batman movie, they were going to have it be like a voice box that was controlled. That was like altering his voice.

Kind of like they did in Batman V Superman. How like when he talks out of that tank Batman suit, it's like, do you bleed? I'll find out if you blow, whatever he says, like, like it's mechanical.

It's like a, it's like a, it's a, it's, it's, it's not his voice coming through. Yeah. But,

but, but instead they just had Christian Bale. Well, all the time and i've never understood that because it made so much more sense for bruce wayne to be trying to hide his voice yeah well like like use the the voice modifier right rather than do the gruff voice all the time because it's so weird when like he uses the gruff batman voice when he's around people who know he's batman who know he's bruce wayne yeah it's it's like he's hanging out with alfred and he's like i've gotta stop the criminals and and like i just imagine could you please stop talking like a

retard just for a minute while we're here and it's in the back cars like it's i wish he'd be like you know it's just us and he'd be like sorry i i get into the thing you know i wish it almost been a scene like that but batman can't laugh at himself he never does he never will yeah he's he's notoriously unfunny yeah i like michael keaton batman michael keaton batman michael keaton batman had a little bit of uh of humor to him i like michael keaton i don't think i've seen any of the Batmans before the animated version. The animated version was before Christian Bale. I watched one as a kid.

The show, the weekly show as a kid with all the pow, bangs. Oh, the live action. Yeah, it was fucking horrendous. I loved it as a kid. Yeah, it's meant to be super campy. It is very campy. There's some really...

There was a time in Hollywood, in TV and movies, where it seemed like they only cast giant-breasted, beautiful women to do anything. I don't know how... I'm not sure why. I don't get it. Many are calling it.

It's almost like... And. The chick that played Catwoman and Poison Ivy in the original show were all smoke shows the way I remember it. That show was so campy. I watched it as a kid as well when I was five. Are you talking about the Adam West one? Yeah, Adam West.

That was where it was his fat body visible under the suit, right? He wasn't fat. He just wasn't fit. Just compared to modern guys. He had a normal body. He had like a normal guy, like average guy's body.

He wasn't clearly working out. But he's a big man. I want to say Adam West is like 6'4 or something. He's a big guy. R.I.P. Oh, he's dead, huh like i want to say adam west is like six four or something like he's a big guy all right he oh he's dead huh he's dead picture of adam west i always thought he had maybe he does have an average body i think i think it's it's a to be fair i think it's above average um it's it's just below average for a superhero you know what i mean it was before the costumes really like put i don't want to say body armor, but Batman's costume has abs built into it

and a big cock bulge. That is not flattering. The eyebrows aren't even even. What do you think the worst part... What's the worst part of this outfit? Dude, it's not a eyebrows on that fucking mask. Well, hang on, man. No, it's not.

That's terrible. What about that Civil War belt buckle he's wearing? What's wrong with that? Did you keep history alive? Dude, look at those BDSM gloves he's got. He looks like a madam. Yeah, but look at that 50 at those bdsm gloves he's got he looks like a madam yeah but look at that 50s nipple hiding technology like like he's about to fucking pull those up to his elbow it looks like someone slapped a batman sticker on the front of his

fucking like fucking i don't know like ballet leotard is what it looks like to me a little bit you know like it doesn't look yeah and i like my odds against this man. Yeah, right? He does not talk with a gravelly voice, by the way. There's no abs, no gravelly. He looks like he's a girl who's rolled her skirt up because she wants to have sex. You know what I mean?

Oh, like that cummerbund look? Yeah, those panties that he's wearing. It's just the worst. And look at the little ears. You know what I like? Are the loose evening gloves. Yeah, they're uneven, too. They're not even, like, Cumberbund. They're all ruffly.

They're silken. Like, what's he going to do with those? Crime-fighting gloves. So he doesn't leave any fingerprints taylor i'm gonna jack you off with my silken hands he was like i but i remember adam west from because of my age obviously more than this was being the hilarious voice of the mayor and family guy yeah for so many years yeah if if you went to a modern day costume party like people were dressed let's just say it was hero themed and someone dressed as that well first of all when if they look just

like that it'd be a legendary thing but like what i'm saying is like that's a terrible costume like like even for its time they were like let's make a batman costume and that's what they came up with that's like 40 minutes at mich Michael's. Can we see a picture of Christopher Reeve's Superman? I wonder if it's a much better costume or if he's just a much better body. I remember it being way better. And now that you mention it,

Christopher Reeve's is tall. Christopher Reeve's is definitely the tall one. I don't know how tall Adam West is. Was Christopher Reeve not like pretty built when he was Superman? I remember him being super handsome, but I was young and maybe not the best judge. Yeah. I have much better taste in men now.

Yeah. You matured like a wine. No, he's a handsome guy. I remember him being... Random guys would pick him up on the side of the street in Mexico. You know? Show us Christopher Reeves. Is there an S on the end? I think it us Christopher Reeves. Is there an S on the end?

I think it's just Reeves. I hate when people have names like that. He's just better built. The costume is nearly identical. I think the midsection is more flattering. No, no, no. I think Christopher Reeve has a more flattering midsection.

He's not straight either. He's like a torso. He's got wide shoulders and he's got a slim waist. This guy is well built and well proportioned. He doesn't have molester's gloves on. I pay a lot of attention to the

deltoid to buy try. I want it to be big here and big here and small. I'm covering it. Deltoid to like by try like i want it to be big here and big here and small i'm covering it like deltoid big small and then big on biceps again that's something that i look at on for in my men and uh he has it okay he's knocking it out of the park you think he's no derrick i mean but if he were if he were like aiming his elf at the screen. It's our yellow sun that makes him strong, Woody. Our sun's actually white.

I actually read it recently. It's not a yellow sun. But it's... Look at it. I think you need to read the comics a little bit more carefully, Woody. Touche. What was I going to say? Oh, Adam West's costume covered that. So even if he little bit more carefully woody uh touche all right um what was i gonna say oh oh adam west's costume covered that so even if he had it it kind of looked like his um cape was covering it yeah he

wore it in front of him yeah maybe not i don't know i i think christopher reeves looks like i i wonder how tall they are i want to know how tall adam west was in comparison but either either way they both look kind of silly in comparison to like modern day stuff i i don't know well we're doing a show talk here have you seen the final season of expanse uh i have not is it all wrapped up yeah i'll get on it tonight then uh i was waiting on it to finish up uh i won't spoil then i won't spoil yeah i'm doing the same thing with uh ozark i'm letting as much of that come out as i can as i can wait on uh and then i'm going to try to binge a bit of that and i'm doing the same thing with snowpiercer snowpiercer is a tv show on tv tnt that's uh sort of a reimagining of the movie snowpiercer if you've seen that the premise is the world is frozen the eccentric

billionaire makes the train that circles the world the the perpetual motion machine it's the same it's a very similar premise obviously the train is still there but just imagine it's in another universe where things just happened very differently there's still a train there was still an eccentric billionaire who made that train it still travels the world because the world is frozen but everything else is a little bit different in in this the opening premise is that there's been a murder on the train and there aren't any more murder detectives left in the world except for in the back of the train.

There's one. And so they dig this poor fucker out of the back and they wash him up and give him a grilled cheese and some tomato soup, which he is just like, Oh my God, it's a fucking grilled cheese. Cause he's been eating this roach bars for eight years or whatever it's been. And so he starts yeah and so he starts like solving the murder on the train

um you know dealing with the class warfare and and all the nonsense of a train that's essentially a tardis because it's as big or as uh small as as the uh the story needs it to be at any given point there is a water tank at one point where this lady like bare ass swims to the bottom of it. And like, she got grabs a few sea urchin who are on like some on the, on the bottom and then turns them into like this sushi dinner that might be enough for one small Asian person.

And I'm just like, there's no way there's no way. Like maybe if you did this twice a decade, like there'd be enough sea urchins for your fancy sushi dinners occasionally. But there's a bunch of nonsense like that. But it's a good show, I think. So new season. Jennifer Connelly's in it.

Oh, I like her. I love Jennifer Connelly. What show? I'm sorry. Snowpiercer. The new season's coming out now. Remember Icy Bob? Yeah.

I hope that he gets a little more screen time because he was he was interesting and fun and then he kind of just tossed to the so so here's a little this isn't this is like a little minor little detail they've created there's a bad guy in the show that they have like experimented on to like turn him make him cold resistant by like grafting skin onto him and covering him in this like cold resistant gel or something he's like a he's like a science experiment and he's called icy bob and so like they'll send icy bob in to like fuck shit up and they'll like flood the compartment with cold air but and everybody is like ah because the cold

is like burning them and making their skin like like immediately frostbite but icy bob don't kill a fuck he's just walking through the cold just fucking shit up it's fun it's a fun show it's it's no masterpiece or anything yeah it's definitely not great no it will keep your attention it'll keep your attention it's a damn uh it's pretty pretty damn good for tnt i'll say that it's their best show i'm like wife is not a gamer, so anything I can find that's television related that I can stand to watch with her is German. I got you. Everybody who's got a girlfriend,

this is the show you watch with her, The Great. It's on Hulu and it's about Catherine. I'm sure she's fucking seen that. She loves period pieces. First of all, this one's a comedy and it's one catherine uh matter i'm sure she's fucking seen that she loves period pieces dude if she first of all this one's a comedy and it's one of those where they like make fun of like every time someone like comes up with like a catchphrase or something they're like oh that's a funny little

turn of phrase but it'll be like a common like saying that we have today they'll be like the first one who said aha like what did you just say i don't know i came when i did i just said aha it came to me well aha i like it and they're like oh okay you're the first person to ever say aha but it's really good you know she she's um she's german like noble girl but her father's very poor and she get they get a letter that finds out that peter the emperor of russia wants to marry her and she gets there and he's like he's like yeah i chose you because it's a lot of political intrigue when you're marrying someone so your family's fucked though nobody gives a shit about you so i can marry you and nobody cares and like he thinks she's retarded when she shows up because she offers him like an evergreen uh like twig to

represent their their their their love that will last three seasons in and out and he just goes is she like simple-minded like did you bring me another retarded one like no sir i i've told she's very sound of mind it's uh it's fun it's it's a real good show and uh every everybody i've shown it to really dug it the great check it out i was gonna say i thought you were gonna recommend ozark to him because i i'm like i don't want to get into the new season of ozark until i finish the witcher but like and the witch is not a bad show not by any stretch i'm enjoying it but i want to hurry up and get the fuck through witcher so i can get to a to a way better show objectively which is

ozark ozark's the best show that's debuting um what service is it on it's on netflix it's really really good like you'll like it did they drop every episode of the season already they usually typically does it yeah they drop them all but and it's out already i yeah yeah so filthy i'm surprised you're not familiar with ozark it is it is a very so so like i i we try not to like blow things out of proportion if we can this is this is our favorite show i think that that's like debuting currently like it's been a it's been a while since it's since there's been a new episode like the last season season two ended on this just wild just like blow your mind kind of kind of moment and so the pandemic happened which

slowed production down i'm sure and so now we finally got in season three it's excellent it's a bit like breaking bad you've um without spoiling much it's about a guy who who is being forced to launder some money for some very bad people and unlike breaking bad where he like keeps it this secret that's eating away at him and it's always oh are they gonna find out is his wife gonna find out is this family find out this guy's like the kids like what the fuck is going on and he's like she's like your father is laundering money for a mexican drug cartel and if we tell anyone we all die and if you tell anyone we all die and if he doesn't launder

the money we all die so we're here to launder money and they're like 12 and 15 they're like and the kids are like let's do this shit yeah uh it's a very good show and one thing that i find maybe a little unique it happened season two is better season 1. And I like that it is. A lot of times, things will come out like a stranger things, right? They come out strong out of the gate and then subsequently everything's a disappointment. This is the rare

aberration in entertainment where season 2, I don't know how they did it, but it really is genuinely better. The office did that. I think it's the addition of a of the little of the blonde girl like maybe she becomes like really comes into her own in the second season i know she's in the first season she's a great character second she can't get the fucking southern accent down but she's a you're a tough um critic in that regard she's she's like

a quasi antagonist in the in the first season where it's like oh is she gonna be a problem is she gonna rat us out and then second season it's like she's member of the team all right and then um the main guy whose name's escaping me right now the actors and is what everyone jason bateman the jason bateman is incredible the daughter like the blonde girl who i find pretty attractive i think she's supposed to be 16 that actress is totally 25 or something like like um she's really good i think this there's there aren't any bad actors in there i was about to like go down the list of people who i that i think are good actors and i realized that it's literally everyone the old guy who they're sharing with the house within season one amazing actor loved his

that guy was like was like stealing scenes he was in like emotional scenes the old guy yeah yeah yeah incredible uh and he had a great relationship with the kid dude's always walking around naked bare-ass like he's some of the very little comic relief that you get in the show um i take that back the show's got a lot of comic relief like it's very serious it takes itself incredibly seriously it never laughs at itself once but there are little funny moments here and there and then there's sad moments too and it's rough and violent and it's a criminal conspiracy going on but it's being done by absolute geniuses it seemed like walter white was a really smart guy but bateman is a mastermind at this it's his bread and butter like he's like oh we'll just move the money here

and then we'll bounce it over there and we'll turn it into krugerrands and then those will slide out of german hands into russian hands but then they go to the swiss and they don't document this it's so similar to breaking bad in a lot of ways except it's there's no like you said there's no shroud around the family like he's up about it. Like you probably would be in that situation. No moral quandary. Yeah. And he's also not someone who's like figuring it out as he goes along. He's already a consummate expert in what they're expecting him to do. And so all of his struggles, they're not like the Breaking Bad struggles of like trying to figure out how to build it.

It's like the trying to deal with obstacles in this thing i already know how to do and so i think that makes it more interesting in some ways so that's like it's always on the same team i'm sorry no no they're they're definitely sniping it as the series goes on they snipe at each other a lot more they try and do what parents do in that situation use the kids as cudgels against the other parent but they they're not at odds with one another. They both want the same thing. They have different ideas of how it should be. I say cudgel. It should be accomplished.

They have different skill sets too. And it's fun to see them. She's a, I'm going to call her a social genius. Maybe that's a stretch. But she has people skills and he has finance skills. She's like the PR. She's the PR person person he's the finance and nitty-gritty person yeah yeah and when they work together they're like genuinely a tremendous team because they're both experts in what they do and when they don't work together it falls apart very quickly and as good as all of

these characters are and and the show oh the ozark cityarks of southern Missouri are as much a character as anything. This little region that was unknown to me before the show has a lot of character to it, and so do the people there. Taylor doesn't like the girl's southern accent. I don't mind it too much, I don't suppose. I can't really even think of it off the top of my head. No, it's just because she switches. She just switches. She gets real mad. She don't know fuck about

shit. You sound, genuinely right now, Kyle, you sound more sincerely Ozarkian than she does in the film. Well. She goes too quick on something else. I think she's actually English. I doubt she's ever eaten a catfish. I'll say that. Yeah, that bitch. No like i i thought that was neat about it where they're like doing the ozarks and

like showing things like around it because obviously they're filming in georgia but they have their like drone shots of the ozarks and stuff there and i'm like i i know that i've been here a bunch of times like i know this kind of area and then they show like the bumpkin horrible groups of people that are there and i'm like well that's that's true too i guess like there are these fucking weirdos that live in trailers on the coast of the ozarks have you ever uh what what region of the united states would you say has the most unattractive poor like shitty people um for me i think it's a tie between west virginia and new mexico i've never been to west

virginia but i hear so many people being mean about it that it yeah like so it's very that way but i don't know it's very it's very poor and isolated a lot of parts of it are i should say i'm sure there are wonderful parts of west virginia that's not true and i i think that what happens is that that anyone who's attractive or has means gets the fuck out of West Virginia. And what is left behind continues to make more West Virginians. And after 150 years of that, you're left with modern-day West Virginia. It's the opposite of what happened in Iceland, wherever the hell Vikings come from, where they took all the best women and dragged them home. Yeah, Norway and Sweden going there, stealing everyone.

That's why England is full of huggos. That's right. Jesus Christ. Bunch of pasty-faced, chubby-cheeked, topless. There's just one guy on the boat at one point who's like, Sven, are you fucking retarded? Leave that fat bitch here. We're trying to grow a bunch of – get the girls like five foot four. Get the bigger girls. We're trying to grow a bunch of... Get it. That girl's like five foot

four. Get the bigger girl. We're trying to grow ourselves. Be big. What was I saying before I went off on a rant against all Englishmen? That West Virginia was not nice. Oh, so yeah, we went to West Virginia. I was meeting this guy who wrote a bunch of the loading manuals, like some sort of ballistics expert he had he had a 20 millimeter bolt action

rifle for me to shoot um he had like the only one that i knew where to get so i would go up the top this mountain hang out with this guy um he's fine he's smart he's there because it's isolated and that's where he like he likes to be alone on the top of the mountain that's his jam meanwhile the town like the nearest town we stopped there we go to walmart and we're in walmart and i'm like you know we're traveling looking for girls so like i'm noticing that like there's not anyone attractive that i've seen and and look i get it we're in a fucking walmart but i i get it i get it what i mean is i'm not i'm not saying like walmart is like a pickup zone.

What I'm saying is like, I've looked at every human being in Walmart and I'm starting to notice something that I haven't seen anyone who's not really, really ugly. Like, like forget like attractive or like, Oh my God, look at her.

It's like, there's a lot of Uggos here. And then we get to the steak restaurant. That's like, I don't know, across the road, there's this little steak place. And I mentioned, I'm like, guys, I think I've been looking for an attractive girl,

someone that I would consider to be even pretty. There aren't any. Our waitress showed up, and she was missing a tooth. Which one? Was it an important one or no? It was important. Well, they're all important. Was it a first-line player? Was it one of the first-line players? was it an important one or no important well they're all important was it was it was it was

a first line player was it one of the yeah it was one of the o-line like like and i want to say there was another waitress that was like pregnant or like had a gimpy leg or something like it was a whole thing like like it was bad you could buy the waitstaff you've got a full person yeah and then new me Mexico is just, I always talk about how dreadful New Mexico is. It's just, it could have been how like sick I was while I was there that I was just physically dying.

But, but I remember it being an awful, awful place full of ugly people. And also, and also Boston, y'all, y'all bitches are fucking skanky. I thought you were going to call out Boston earlier,

but you mentioned poor, and they're not really poor. They're just wealthy. Oh, no, no. They are ugly. There's some dirty, dirty, poor Bostonians. I've seen TV before. We have them here. Everybody in the world likes to make fun of the South

and how ignorant and inbred and low class and low income and blah, blah, blah that we are. Not per capita. Look, I've been to Boston. I've seen you people. You look as poor, dumb, and ugly as anybody I've ever seen. Okay? True. And if you live in Boston, if you agree with me,

you're probably a good-looking fella or gal. And if you disagree with me, you're the ugly one. I thought I came up with a hilarious joke years ago when when woody and i visited i still laugh at my own joke i don't need anybody else i was like what do you call a good-looking woman in boston a tourist like it was it was ugly ugly women everywhere dog-faced women like oh i mean dog dog-faced indeed that goes without saying but uh stole the words out of my mouth like the the accent itself like and you're right the south they get made fun of non-stop for their accent and when a southern guy gets made fun of for his

accent it's like you know we do things different down here it's a little bit you know like laughing and then fucking you make fun of boston they're like well actually we won all these championships and we're an old city and it's like dude settle down you can't handle the mild ribbing that southern people did because the boston accent is truly and honestly offensive. Do you think some accents... It's really bad. Sorry. No, go ahead. No, I want to. I just... Am I alone in feeling like some accents are better on men than on women and vice versa? Like some accents, you're like, holy fuck, I don't even care what she looks like. If she speaks like that, like, oh my God, she's gorgeous.

And then like you hear some like... And you hear sometimes you hear the opposite and you're like, that just makes her look ugly when she speaks like that. Yeah, like some yinzer from pittsburgh yeah that weird ass accent the boston accent's like that to me it feels like a male accent to me i hear like a woman speak like that from boston i'm just like what the fuck yeah and it's like they seem mad and needlessly aggressive with how they're saying things i don't know know. I think it's just like, you know, like girls' voices are attractive though, right? I think that's a big part.

I agree, but I think- Listen to a woman in Boston speak and tell me that. And I'm not sure, because I hear like an American-Russian accent. Maybe that's- That's just because she's got a cigarette in her mouth. That's why she sounds like that. But sometimes I feel like the harsh accents

don't do well on women. Like a harsher accent. I think I understand what you're saying. Like a harsher accent. I think I understand what you're saying. Like the Russian or the Eastern European, like that kind of thing, like coming from a woman. You're like, am I going to get my kids? I just made sounds with. Like, that's like, I know exactly what you're saying and then like like french i would say is a little different where it's like you hear the woman speaking

you're like oh that sounds that's kind of a nice nice way to speak and then you hear a man and you're like oh you're gay you know what it's not bad it's just not masculine. I got one. Oh, I will totally beat your ass, Sinead. I'm sure. Just watching Letterkenny, right, when they deal with the French Canadians. And you hear the guys with the French Canadian accent, and you're like, man, that is the worst accent ever. But then he's dating that French Canadian girl, and you're like, fuck, that's a cool accent. I like that. That works. Australian,

I think, sounds good on both, though. Which flies in the face of the whole you just think girls sound hot thing. And German, on the other hand, that doesn't sound good on anybody. That doesn't work for anyone. That's not a good accent. German and Russian, it's harsh.

Guy's an asshole. Girl's not hot. Well, she probably looks hot, but she doesn't sound hot. I don't know. I've seen Mila Kunis speak Russian, and it was hot. I can't remember the premise. It was one of the... You know those instances where a lot of... That's only because she was 14 in that video that you liked it so much.

Well, 13, but yeah. I don't think you guys have seen her early work. She had a guest spot on the Teletubbies. She made that son smile. Nah, she got that Pampers commercial back in 91. That's where she peaked. It was all downhill from Huggies. That's what came on my radar.

Dude, somehow, what I find is impressive is I naturally have the neutral... I don't know if people know this. A lot of journalists come from the Midwest because we have the most neutral, easy to understand accent, dialect. Like the way I speak. This is the most boring place on earth. Yeah, the most neutral easy to understand accent dialect like the way i speak you know people say i play on earth yeah the most boring place on that people say i speak nasally which is like a midwest thing but i don't think that's true that much maybe i'm just blind to my own thing but i'm impressed by how kyle you like trained yourself to speak like a midwesterner like you got rid of all not like the you know obviously not the minnesota silly fargo midwesterner like you got rid of all not like the you know obviously not the

minnesota silly fargo midwesterner but just the neutral like did you have to consciously think about that while you were doing it yeah i i set these little uh like like like the way i say little like like that's not a thing that happens here no one says little no one says singing like no one pronounces any of those those those parts of the words no one says little no one says singing like no one pronounces any of those those those parts of the words no one says white and hits the t on the end no one hits says white and hits the at the beginning like cool whip like that's all that that's just an accent that i invented based on like an amalgamation of every like american and the european accent and trying to combine the things that i thought sounded less stupid because my accent sounded stupid to me. It always sounds so stupid because people that sound like

me were the stupid people in movies and TVs. They were the, the Cletus on like, uh, on, uh, Simpsons, you know, it was the buck tooth inbred all shucks character. And so, and that was the guy who didn't enunciate the guy who couldn't pronounce words, the guy who didn't understand words and the guys, the guy who couldn't finish his words, like completely. And so like,

I just made a conscious effort to like get rid of all of that long drawn out twang. Cause I had real, my mom was more up here like this. all of that long, drawn-out twang. Because I had real... Mine was more up here like this most of that time. Daddy, daddy, I caught another fish. Daddy, I caught another fish. That's all those videos of me as a kid. That's me.

Daddy, I caught another fish. What age were you when you were like, I really don't like the way people that speak like me are portrayed in media. I'm switching. Maybe like 14 or 15, something like that. I started like, like definitely working on it.

And then like by, by like 17 or 18, like it was gone. Like, like a hundred percent. Cause I like, cause like I had hung around with my dad so much and his isn't bad and he actually i he'll do this thing where like so as not to sound pretentious when he

correctly says words like oil because we don't say oil here we say all or we don't hit the r we it's just all it's just all my grandparents do earl it's very low effort for that word we it's almost like you're you're putting on airs if you if you go through the trouble of saying oil do they mispronounce tire also that one i really i when i was into off-roading we talked about tires a lot yeah and i straight up didn, I couldn't follow the conversation at first. Did I give you this? Tar. Yeah.

My grandparents would go, Hey, I need a new tar. It's tar. And it's over a CB radio sometimes, which makes it more difficult. It's, it's all with the tip of their tongue. It's tar,

tar, tar. They're just doing this. It's, it's, it's not even a whole syllable. It's just a tar. I don't know what you call it.

It's a new tar. Tar. It's, it's just a little, little, little pump thing call that it's a new tire tar it's it's just a little little little pump thing they're throwing out there yeah there's a lot of words like that no i didn't like that i didn't like how that was portrayed and uh and i didn't want to sound like that i remember like uh when i was a young kid like not understanding like like i lived in st louis and my grandparents were from the very Southern most tip of Missouri. And so they speak with a Southern accent. They always have.

And like, I remember like when people would talk about their grandparents when I was like five, six thinking that like, it was, you know how you do as a kid, like you've forced your archetype of reality onto everything else and try and make it fit where i was like yeah everybody has their southern grandparents and and that's just the way life goes like everybody has grandparents who talk a little funny that's because they're old and it's like no idiot that's because they're not from here like you're when when you're when your friends grandparents come in for field day or whatever and they're speaking normally you know they're not faking it as i thought they're they're just not from there that was yeah all the stupid little things you believe as a child and as an adult and then i think i don't think i growing up like i don't think i had any i ever i heard any voices that didn't have an accent you know like my dad has my whole family

did uh everybody that knew did um so like there wasn't any influence that didn't have that real twangy draw thing going on. What I was saying earlier, like my dad will when he says oil, he will like he will like make he'll be like, I'm going to go to the store and pick up some oil. Like he'll make he'll make kind of a he'll make kind of a joke out of like saying it correctly so as like not i i think subconscious um subconsciously so as not to appear that he's putting on any airs in front of anybody like like first of all we all know it's oil but i'm gonna call it oil in case anyone's listening but i'm gonna say it in a jokey way so nobody minds he's under two layers of irony i think he does it subconsciously but but but i don't know it plays out in my head when he when he does it there's a reason he's saying that one thing that did turn out that was true from when i was a kid i was like because i'm sure like people in the

south even think like i don't have the accent everybody else has an accent like being from the midwest like i was like no everybody else has goofy ass accents i talk normal and then the older i got the more i was like that's true yeah every everyone in every corner of this country can understand exactly how i speak you can't say the same from someone from boston someone from fucking jackson mississippi or you know wherever i'm good i'm pretty good at picking up um like like not just what i mean is is like i never have an issue understanding what someone's saying those west virginia people have you seen those clips they're really hard to understand ever traveled in england at all i've watched uh i've watched those um there was a documentary about some some of those people in west virginia they were called like the i don't know something was it was it the

wild whites of west virginia yep that's such a good documentary it's so interesting the the white family yeah we've talked about it on this show before it's been years now maybe four years ago when we discovered that show it's it's crazy they're a bunch of like hillbilly criminals essentially and and like you said they're really difficult to understand but if you kind of get in the flow of it it's kind of like when i watch snatch now like i can get like 75 of it i can follow along that's probably because i've seen the movie like a bunch yeah i i mean if i watched snatch i could follow along with most of it but that's because i've seen it six times seen the movie too many times yeah that's true that's true it's true yeah regional accents are

weird uh the ones the ones what's the coolest one what do you think the coolest american accents or george's like let's do america first because i i it's because i love my grandparents and i have so many positive memories with them but i like the southern accent i got it yeah yeah yeah i think that it's a brand of southern you need a very particular brand of southern because you want to avoid all of the the negative things that i laid out like the the the i think there's something about male dominance right like when you're like when you're interacting with someone else with that slow cadence and that draw really like portray like if you're in a like a power position and you're doing that as well that's just like a extra fuck you so i think there's something in the southern accent for like being like when you're in charge of something or

on top of something that you just really love it because because because i feel it the opposite i feel that it's a very relaxed accent. I feel that New Jersey and New York is this sort of – it's the cocaine of accents, whereas the Southern draw is the marijuana of accents. We're laid back, relaxed. We've got plenty of time to talk about what's going on here today. And that New York accent is just, yo, we've got to get this thing going on right here. Who are you concerned about? It is impossible. You're concerned. You going on who are you concerned about it is impossible you're concerned you're in at you're active you're interacting with

it you're responding to it you don't give a fuck because you're not at all threatened by this person that's slow just like drawn out taking your time talking about these things your words take fucking forever it is hours to communicate a concept like i can hardly listen to a Southerner's story sometimes. It takes forever. It takes fucking forever. And if they're not a naturally good storyteller where maybe they include too much background information or they're winding their way,

it gets five times worse with this slow-ass Southern thing. Go ahead, Kyle. I agree with you, first of all. I agree with you. And the best part, Kyle. I agree with you, first of all. I agree with you. And the best part about Woody. I agree with Woody. I agree with you both, in essence.

Just in different things. Woody and I are thinking of the same guy right now. He's a Southern guy we know who tells us bad stories. I wasn't thinking of him, but now I am. Now you are. Yeah. But there's... When you brought that up as a southerner,

I immediately started thinking, who are the great southern storytellers? And there's this guy named Jerry Clower. He's a comedian, and his brand of comedy is telling funny stories. Yeah. A common brand. No, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no like okay but but he tells you're telling me there's a cartoon out there telling funny stories so he and i have a lot of like telling cards out of school a funny story niche that's good there's no competition there he's that one guy yeah um but he tells like he tells stories about um these slow long drawn out stories about things like coon hunting and uh and like like um sick mules and uh it's really funny i give a chance like

like like pull up like jerry clower on youtube and Clower on YouTube and find a story about the sick mule or something like that. The mule with colic. I'm not saying you're wrong. Clower. C-L-O-W-E-R I think. This is the... The autofill, if you

type in Jerry Clower on YouTube is Coon Hunton Story. No G. Coon Hunon hunting story this is what you get sorry it might be why i don't get a big kick out of norm mcdonald whose entire fucking comedy style is telling long fucking ass boring stories with no punchline right my story is so fucking bad my story is so awful everyone here is impatient and angry because i am telling a long-winded boring fucking terrible story about nothing that has no end and you're all are laughing because i ruined the entertainment value of this show which somehow turns it all the way around to adding entertainment value to

this show, to other people. You, I like from the way Taylor between us, I am the comedy expert. All right. I mean, no,

you're playing. I'm saying from what you've said, from what you've said about Norm Macdonald, all of your experience from him comes from like late night clips. Don't watch the late night clips where he's, he, he hated, he hated,

I was going to say hates. He hated those late night shows. He thought they were contrived bullshit nonsense. And so every time he went on one, he would try and waste as much airtime as they could for a stupid joke. The joke was he's making the host panic at how slow this is and trying to like he did that intentionally. You watch his stand up totally different game. He has so many funny bits in so many different ways. His the way he thought about stuff was was a little off kilter, which is what you need to

be funny. He his delivery. Some people don what you need to be funny he his delivery some people don't like his delivery i think his delivery was fucking hilarious like the way he would undercut things he did the news on saturday night live and i certainly don't think he was bad maybe even good but it had this i'm the only smart person in the room kind of vibe to it had this i'm the only smart person in the room kind of vibe to it that i got too much of it see i want to hear i never got that vibe from norm no i did get that guy he he he's he's like he's definitely the elitist that that's part of his part of his his gag that that like it's almost like but but he's bringing you along for that he's not saying i'm smarter than all of you he's bringing you along for that. He's not saying I'm smarter than all of you. He's saying we're smarter than them. Hey,

come here, gather around. Look at those dumb people over there. We're so much smarter than them. That's what I usually get from norm. Yeah. I'm got from norm. I like norm.

I never had a problem. I think this Jerry Clower guy is, is maybe an example of a good like Southern, like you don't mind that a story is taking so long. He's not telling a long story because uh he's trying to bore you he's telling a long story because this is almost like i mean it's a story it's not just about being a joke it's about telling you a story to some extent too because you learn about characters and their relationship with each other and his story he

tells like lots of stories and they're often about they're about the same community he grew up in with the same characters and different things they did. So when he gets to the third story about this coon dog... There's backstory. He doesn't need to tell you just how good this coon dog is.

He's the top... This is how the guy talks. He's a top dollar coon dog highball buzz. He was the number one coon dog and all of brigsbane county and you're like all right we've got a good all of brigsbane county three counties over they talked about highball you know you're making him sound like a wrestler what's the name of that wrestler who would be like... What was it? Who was the guy who did

Spider-Man Bonesaw is Ready? Macho Man Randy Savage. Yeah, he was the guy that was like, this dog is the best dog you're ever going to find to try and hunt squirrels. Whatever the fuck. It's off balance.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's off balance it doesn't matter the landmark has been doing a character called landy i am the cream and i will rise to the top i love what he's doing the cream thing and he keeps like i am the queen and he keeps keeps pulling a new cream thing that is that is like i had i have no experience with professional wrestling in my whole life like it wasn't something i watched i didn't know about it but when i saw someone this was like a year ago like literally a year ago they're like watch randy savage i am the cream and i was like okay and i that was the last time, I think, that I watched a video on repeat three times laughing the whole time. Because he is just-

I'm undeniably, undeniably in a situation I'd rather not be in right now. I'm undeniably in a situation that I'd rather not be in right now. I am the cream, and the cream will rise to the top. He's like pulling it from different pockets. And the interviewer is like, Macho Man Randy Savage here, talking big words right before the match.

And he's blown away by the sleight of hand, too. He acts like a black person seeing magic. He's like, oh, shit! He thinks he's met a warlock. Dude, that's all. a warlock like dude that's that's all that if you watched like uh what what was uh what network was chris angel on oh do you remember or no david blaine chris angel were they both on like spike tv or some shit like that david blaine would get those specials like on nbc like prime time where he'd like be in a fucking block of ice for three

hours on on prime time tv and i'm like a fucking block of ice for three hours on on prime time tv and i'm like this is going up against survivor like like are they serious yeah no chance it's gonna beat survivor but like yeah i'm putting it up against survivor no fucking chance idiot remember him up in that block of ice suspended and like i don't know over some major city or something i remember the breath i was like that ain't magic like like he's just he's just in a box like like but like it was funny watching like the david blaine show and it was like street magic i think it was like on mtv in the early 2000s and then he would be like about to do a magic trick for like a few like white ladies and there'd be a group of black guys and he's like sorry this isn't gonna work out guys guys let me show you the magic trick because like

black people reacting to magic they do it so much funnier than white people yeah far in the way it's not even close yeah not even close it's because they believe in magic and so when they see some they think they've encountered a warlock and they're hoping that they can get some wishes out of it and now i don't know about black people as a percentage of magic believers but i can tell you that these black people he was talking to definitely believed in magic i'm not saying when he threw that deck of cards at the window pane of a cafe and the one they picked was on the inside of the cafe

stuck to the glass. Yeah, they were freaking the fuck out. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that all magic believers are black. I'm just saying that all black people are magic. Oh, that's great. I saw what i was doing and i still that's hilarious i saw where it was headed quickly and let it go yeah i don't want to believe in magic let's do the second half of this second half of this question we did we did u.s accents

what about what about worldwide accents coolest worldwide accents uh i think australia i i would have gone that way too that's my Australian Nicole Kidman sounds great on women and men sounds fucking badass also fucking funny like if the question is cool, then I think Australian is it. It's very chill. Like, whatever, Bri. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. You do what you want. What accent would a movie

villain have? German or Russian. There's a German guy that I've been playing fucking games with. He came in and he's like, are we going to play up at the talk hub? I'm just like, what are you, a fucking Bond villain, bro? Is that really your accent?

That's just how we talk here. Yeah, in my land, this is how we speak. You're playing it up, right? Are you auditioning right now for something? The fuck? He just sounds like that. No, he's just there in his fucking beer fest

lederhosen. I'm not putting this on. It's one of the... I met a 73-year-old German man who was in Hamburg. Like a fucking stallion.

Bluetooth.com. Get out of the phone. Get out of the phone. I got to get the lock and load away from Dieter. I'm going to tell you right now. His accent wasn't as strong as this

young dude I'm playing Tarkov with. And this guy was like, he'd been in Germany his whole life. He had been bombed in Hamburg. He sounds like he's just waiting to get fucked up the ass. His name was Peter. And he was a real... Peter Eater. Peter was an asshole.

Peter was always... It was during the middle of, I think, I don't know who Bush was invading, but he was doing his thing. Probably one of the bad guys. One of the bad countries. Little Iraq and little Afghanistan. Didn't we get Gaddafi during that period as well?

No, that was Obama. Okay. I give that to Bush. bush laid the groundwork down yeah and then obama laid the groundwork by destroying libya back then though oh it's true it's true i lost my train of thought you were talking about something stupid and german guy tarkov but yeah as if he'd been talking about to john he was a super anti-bush and uh and and always uh complaining about how like the americans bombed his like house in hamburg germany when he was seven or eight or something and it was just gonna is he is he 90 years old

that's what i'm saying i'm telling you how old he was i met i met a 98 year old first of all like it'd be easy to work out his age because like whenever they bombed hamburger he was either seven or eight and like i worked with this guy in like 2000 we bombed germany after world war ii no he was alive during world war ii oh i i was joking i didn't realize that he actually wasn't old i'm literally talking about a man who was a child during World War II. He was 70, 15 years ago. It doesn't matter anymore. There wasn't even really a story there.

I just wanted to say he had a shitty accent that wasn't as strong as this other kid. German is a shitty accent. You sound like a fucking villain. I don't know if I've ever heard... Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of women with a German accent and it actually being sexy.

All I can come up with is oh, and maybe that's not even German. It's a comical accent. Remember Blazing Saddles? The lady who does the musical number? I'm tired. Tired of being alone. She's got that whole musical number uh like is that german the fuck is that i don't know the way you were doing it almost sounded like

like like do we have a second place if we all agree 100 that australia is the best accent for men and women yeah no i would i would go a second place i i like italy italian accents but that could be because i had an italian teacher in college and i thought her accent was very cool i've never heard a guy with an italian accent with any sort of regularity so i wouldn't know yeah so i whenever i think of either furio from sopranos if I'm thinking of a guy with an Italian accent. Yeah, but those are Italian-American. I mean like an Italian. No, he was Italian-Italian.

Oh, Furio. Yeah, he was. I love when Sal couldn't pronounce his name. He's like, Furio. He's like, Furio. Furio. Same thing. Remember when Tony goes over and meets with his cousin? Her accent was pretty fucking hot.

Yeah, that lady. Yeah. That's what my Italian teacher sounded like. Remember when she's eating those shrimps with her mouth open and those big lips? It should have been disgusting, but it ended up being sexy. I don't remember that scene. I'll take your word for it. Yeah, I'll send it to you later.

I've got it. Yeah, send that to me. Send me the shrimp eating scene. It's a gif. It just goes over and over. I'm going take your word for it. Yeah. I'll send it to you later. I've got it. Yeah. Send that to me. Send me the shrimp eating scene. It's a gif. It just goes over and over. Beat off to it. I know how you feel about Italian women and shellfish. Yes.

His weaknesses. These are a few of my favorite things. I don't know what other accents. What do people from Poland sound like? Fuck that. Their language is fucking absurd. Have you ever seen something written in Polish? It's like they're trying to make it so hard that no one language is fucking absurd. Have you ever seen something written in Polish? It's like they're trying to make

it so hard that no one else can learn it. It was like waterboarding. He was like, the way he would roll this it was like what I would sound like if I were trying to breathe through liquid being poured down my throat. And that was Danish. It's like, we don't want

anyone else to be able to figure this out. Let's make it hard. Let's make it difficult to pronounce.'s how i feel about russian like the fact that they have their own letters and they just mix them in with normal letters what the fuck the surreal none of them are the it's the cyrillic alphabet so they have some that like look like a or look like stuff like that but it's like the a it looks like it a it's an a okay like have you ever seen like uh the way they say like russia like if you buy like some something for like vodka or something from russia it'll say like it what it looks like in the u.s in english is like pocha like p a goofy o C A but it's a goofy A and that means Russia so that P

means R and then the rest is just Russia I guess except do they call it like they wouldn't pronounce it I'm getting some audio feeding back through somebody by the way I'm hearing something the typing I was trying to paste that link no it was audio

it was a lady's voice of some kind well that doesn't that doesn't Jack not from here definitely heard it No, it was audio. It was a lady's voice of some kind. Well, that doesn't track. Not from here. Definitely heard it. Did anyone else hear it? No, I did not hear a woman's voice. Kyle, is there a lady in your house? Are you haunted? Yeah. I could be.

You could be. Kyle, let's be real for a second. Okay. By that, I mean, let's not like if you let's say there's let's say you hear something spooky in your house that you think might be a ghost. Don't say it's not a ghost. It's not like you think it's something supernatural. Who do you call?

Like who is your most trusted resource to handle a supernatural thing do you call a priest do you try and go higher up do you do you go to a christian pastor like who's your solver i'm immediately feeling like you're baiting me into another musical number that wasn't the intent but feel free to sing um but but all right so let's so so i'm hearing i'm hearing i'm hearing you're hearing you're hearing what could be ghouls right um i'm gonna fill in the blanks here and i mean that's a good haunting i suppose no it's not necessarily it's not it's not a female voice it's a ghoulish goblin voice it's i'm going to fill in the blanks here and i'm gonna make it like i'm absolutely sure that this is not like my tv

or like my feelings picking up a radio or something something is speaking to me from a portal in my home who am i going to call yeah no one i am going to start the twitch stream up and we are going to live stream um my supernatural ghoul portal and if it i'm going to this is welcome it into my soul yeah the next poltergeist movie yes taylor is it you that actually got uncomfortable when i like kept offering my soul to to satan that time no it was i i made jokes about it to my wife at the time uh when we were watching horror movies and she got really spooked. That's right. And I said in the middle of the movies, she was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Please come with me. And I'm like, I can see the bathroom from here. I'm not coming with you. And then she was like, but there could be demons. And I was like, there's no demons. Watch. Satan, come into my soul. Have me do your bidding and and she let me walk this

this earth with your evil soul inside my body and do your bidding me your power my dark lord allow me to do your bidding on this earth like that's what it was. She hated that. She thought it was quote-unquote inappropriate when I invited Satan into my soul. I was joking. I was memeing. Now I remember I stole that from you and I

did the exact same thing. Got the exact same reaction. Chicks hate it. Chicks believe in ghosts and demons, man. Especially when they meet you for the first time. For all they know, you're having a fucking breakdown. same reaction yeah chicks hate it chicks believe in ghosts and demons man especially when like they meet you for the first time and like they don't like for all they know you're having a fucking breakdown over there yeah i i roll my eyes in the back of my head i do a whole thing you got your your vomit packs in there so you bite down and throw up on nobody sticks around after that it's uh i wouldn't expect no i i don't know who i'd call

for real though like like that would be all right that would be horrifying i don't know what you do with that if you if you truly believe that they're like look you know that i'm here is a good one the twitch idea is hilarious but but what do i do when i turn the twitch stream on and like now it doesn't do its thing and now like an asshole i'm like hey they're like hey what are you doing kyle i'm like i guess just chatting i just want to check in with you guys um and i'm like and meanwhile like the ghoul like winks at me behind the camera and fucking disappears and now i'm sitting there being all fucking weird and shit for 30 minutes i'm all pale and i leave and they're like i think kyle has a serious drug problem.

And I don't know what you do with that. Cause I feel like, yeah. You know why you don't know what you do with that? Cause it's not a place to deal with that. Cause it's a bunch of bullshit, right? Like, okay.

If you're getting robbed, maybe call the cops, you know, you need to, you know, but it's fun. You gotta, you gotta,

you gotta suspend disbelief. So, so, so you say that we know someone who on a somewhat regular basis sees a demon yeah that's right you told me about this multiple demons or anything holy shit yeah yeah drifter yeah and if i recall correctly uh the guy's name is drifter the person yeah drifter okay yeah drifter he just kind of goes through his life like with this is one of the things of his life it's like yeah the

rest of us have gravity and rain he's got demons you know if you are like constantly fucked with by demons though like it or it doesn't matter whether it's real or not if you believe it to be real in your mind and it's impacting you in a real way it is real for that person like what what do you do like it you would just have to ignore it no you'd have to you'd probably have your own coping strategy be like all right demon time again all right get the headphones out play some music you know don't like look off into the distance i don't know like you'd do something though right all i would do i would i would i would try and like be more intense than the demon that kind of yeah so if he was all about like murder i'd be like yeah but you're not thinking big enough and then he'll be like man this kid's fucked up you can only kill a man once, Satan. You gotta think darker.

Oh, God. It's like, you go, remember the Christmas Critter episode of South Park? I think maybe it was the devil who was like, these things are fucked up. Yeah. She's pretty fucked. Man, I keep losing my train

of thought. I've been getting getting these thco pins from my um from the gas station what does that mean what is thco because i know delta eight they just extract it from the hemp what is thco i don't i shouldn't have to be a chemist i shouldn't have to answer a question and do science and then sell it legally exactly like i don't have to answer questions like that. Take marijuana and do science and then sell it legally. Exactly. I don't want to be responsible for learning the science behind everything that I put in my body. I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I'm not an anti-vaxxer. If they will sell it at the gas station, then I will do it.

Kyle, it looks like THCO is a hemp derived compound similar to delta eight but it's three times stronger than thc which is wild because like delta eight the thing with it is it's much weaker than thc like you have to take a lot more to get the same effect i've been telling everybody um to smoke this stuff because it is very, very, very strong. And I'm just getting like a $20 vape pen from my gas station. I think the company is called Canabeast. Like it comes in the – yeah, yeah, here it is. It's fucking Canabeast.

Do they have it in edible format? Those are the best. Maybe, but like I just get these vape cartridges. are the best maybe but but like i just get these vape cartridges i i i would i would go on reefers bay if i were getting any kind of like delta eight like type thing anyway i guarantee can i pause you reefers bay is a website where you can legally get tco shipped in the mail all these things yeah delta a and like that that's that's a reefers there i just bought this is all right let me just stop and say this is rapidly up starting to look like a veiled uh sponsored ad read that is not the case no we're not getting paid for this what it is is that midi turned me on to this place to get cheaper delta

eight and it's it's 50 cents a gram by the way for concentrate like it blew my mind i've been over i i wasted hundreds of dollars like it's now like delta eight costs pennies it's absurd how cheap it is but um but i i recommended them to taylor and he grabbed some of their uh their edibles yeah i haven't had any yet i'm gonna take some tonight before i go to bed and see how i feel but it's they showed up super quick like like i ordered a couple of these to see if they'd be good because up till now i've been doing these these moonwalker ones that i get from a local store the brand is just called moonwalker they're another very large delta 8 brand i guess i think it's i think moonwalker i was like i think it's one of those brands that like made all the thc

stuff before the delta 8 and then was like immediately oh delta eight we're selling this in all these companies in all these states where we can't sell our initial shit it's uh it's wild how big the the the uh the market has gotten there's their their stores cropping up all around me that sell the stuff and i just don't understand how law enforcement deals with it we were talking about this the other day it's federally legal yeah it's federally legal it's it's state legal like it's legal everywhere but it's mixed in with like marijuana right because i've bought um for a while i was trying the um the flower it looks like nuggets of marijuana and they've got it in when so i've been to a lot of different legal states

and they they keep the the flower in like these little glass jars locked up. And sometimes they're even in like a time lock thing in the back. Almost. It seems like they're real secure with this shit. There's a store about five minutes from me where they have like 10 pound bags of the Delta eight nuggets, like bushels of them, like Jesus Christ,

you know, and like an old timey general store, they'd be those big things like candy like on the that's how they in yourself they just scooping big like oh what do you want three four pounds like they don't really sound sell you that much but they've got that much he's got like 30 pounds of what looks just like marijuana right behind him and he'll you know grab you an eighth of an ounce or half an ounce or whatever you want but what it is i guess it's hemp nuggets that they've sprayed with delta eight and i haven't smoked much of that in a while it's a little hard to get you high oh not on their own not on their own so

they're just spraying it with delta i'm very confused about why this is even it's just a medium for delta eight really it's just another way. And so I'm like French fries with ketchup. They're just, there you go. Yeah. I'm wanting to skip the French fry entirely. I'm like,

just give me the bottle of ketchup. Actually boil the ketchup for three hours. And then, and then make a brownie out of it. Then distill it. And then take the distilled ketchup and add some lye and when that turns into crystals give me those let me smoke those crystals you said that you find that delta-8 hemp thing to be harsh to smoke do you find that in the vapes like i don't have

much experience with this but when i vape delta-8 like i'm coughing i suck it's harsh and i have a friend who is a subject matter expert and he seems to think delta eight is harder to vape too you know i i was i was thinking that and like i i think it depends on the brand because i got these vapes that are delta eight and they like the thin white one that has the little thing that says like California risk down here or like there's weed in this. And up until this point, and I got one of these, I had been getting other like disposable Delta eight vapes like these dead ones. And these ones hit so hard. And I think the reason is, is that they have a setting in there that it's the heat that it's trying to dissolve. It is way too high

like it's heating it and like vaporizing it at a very high temperature and then you're hitting hard mean or does that mean you're getting very high or like it makes you call it hits so hard means that like you're feeling it in your throat you feel like you might cough like you're and so like this one i pretty much i don't like this one seems to vape at a lower temperature and so i don't get that but all these other ones i've gotten they vape at such a high temperature that like i'm i'm always coughing it wasn't until i switched to these white ones that it started getting better so one thing i've noticed is i think you get you build different tolerances for different things compounds yeah compounds maybe even like like so i've tried thco and thcp and maybe thc10

and eight and uh or delta eight or whatever the fuck i get confused it after a while clearly because i i think they're just making shit up i know i tried this right it's i i can't remember what this brand is called but i've got two of them here and uh wait wait hold that up i it's got the little monkey oh no i don't have that one no yeah it's got it's got a little monkey guy on there and the monkey's like wearing a hat and he's smoking a joint um let's say like grandma's cookies or something yeah it's girl scout cookies yeah yeah look at him there and then and then and then like these are the same shit is that delta eight or delta oh i don't remember anymore but but but it's always these little monkey guys on here it's

the one that causes short-term memory this is the first thing i smoked like uh as soon as my probation ended i i i had one of these and as soon as like midnight roll over i started i hit this thing and i was immediately shocked at how high i was after two hits like i was so high i i ran to the bathroom and and what he was talking about the coughing i coughed like i was going to die for like you're gonna like like coughing so hard do you like are on the verge of throwing up yes you hit it like a pro then like you really i try to strike the balance and I know what I'm doing between like, if you barely hit it at all, then you don't call, but you don't really get anything.

Like it's a little bit of a wasted vape. If you really hit it, like you're imitating the guys from that 70 show. Yeah. Then like you cough hard and it, and I try to split the difference. I know the 1 million percent. I do the same thing like

i'll i just hit it to the medium level and if i want like one giant's hit worth hit worth i just take three medium hits over the course of a couple minutes so i don't have to cough no i hit it hard uh i will say i've noticed that like the way i can tell if something is truly potent is I'll salivate when, uh, when, when it hits. Um, so like when I, when I hit this thing for the first time,

I literally, I had to run to the bathroom and I was like, it sounds a little gross, but I was like spitting into the sink. I was salivating so much. Like, like my mouth was just like overflowing with like spit. I'm just spitting into the sink and coughing at the same time.

It was very attractive. Um, and then the same time. It was very attractive. The same thing happens when I take a big dab of something strong. The THCO concentrate is pretty absurd. I don't...

I can hit this pin and carry on a conversation mostly. It would appear, but I wouldn't. it would appear hypothetically hypothetically um but i but i definitely wouldn't do that concentrate and try to like have a normal conversation with anyone because like i'll get super dopey and after a while i'll just get fucking tired and need to go take a fucking nap when i work out i'd use a completely different uh thing though i've got a a pen that's uh supposedly a sativa. I get kind of like a head

high for that. It's kind of energetic and it's kind of fun. I'm doing my math and counting my reps and singing my songs and just da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. But when I smoke this stuff, I'm more like just mellowed out and relaxed.

I can't believe that they just sell it in the store. Back to my original point, the fact that this is just at the store and the cops are driving past it but still enforcing like marijuana law yeah it's nuts i i i don't know how that works i think society just laws can't keep up with where we're at for all the things like all the internet shit is always like that every time i look at this shit i'm like that law doesn't make any sense with how this world works anymore so my hope is that with regards to delta 8 if the tide is stemming towards marijuana legalization they just say you know what never mind why are we going to make new laws when we're going in the other direction anyway yeah yeah that's that's the thought too it doesn't it's it's legal in so many places i mean it's decriminalized from

what i understand like in the city of atlanta like the fact that that's a thing right that like tell me how legal and decriminalized differ i get confused yeah so legal legal means do it all you want there's there's going to be no no consequences uh decriminalized means, hey, you can't do that. You're going to have to pay a ticket now. But it doesn't mean, put your hands around your back! He's moving! He's got a gun! Taser! Pow, pow, pow!

Taser? This isn't my taser. Put the joint in his hand. Yeah. Put the joint in his hand. Like weed is the drug they're planting. I'm going to give three of these a go. I'll probably be feeling them by the end of the show. I can't believe that shit kicks in for you in 30 minutes.

I got to plan two hours ahead if I'm taking it. Really? Like if I want to be like. If I'm going to take edibles. And like if I'm going to go to the movies or something. First of all, get somebody else to drive. Cause I ain't driving on edibles. But if the movie starting at 8 PM,

I'm taking those at like five 30. Well, your, your tolerance, even you just jumping back into it recently, like it takes a lot more ads to get you high than it does for me. He has that THC muscle memory. Uh,

maybe I just took 75 milligrams of it maybe i'll take another 25 one later if i want to get silly god really yeah 75 yes but no it's a it's it's delta eight and so like the you know it's delta eight does get you to where weed will get you with edibles at least but the the smoking, it's a little more different. But you need like three to four times as much to get it. And so basically what I just took was like 20 milligrams of THC. Which is a fucking lot. I gave up on edibles or Delta-8 edibles having any sort of potency for me

because I was eating I think around 1,500 milligrams at a time. 1,500? Dude, I might have a fucking heart attack or I would absolutely have a panic attack if I took that much. I was eating whatever comes in a bottle. I would get a $50 bottle

and I want to say they were like 60 milligrams each and there was like 75 i don't know it was a Jesus fucking it's like roughly 1500 milligrams dude i took this this past weekend i i took we weren't doing anything and i was just gonna play magic all night and hang out i think i took over the course of hours like 200 250 milligrams of delta eight and i was like i remember getting up to go get another zevia from from the fridge another cream soda and like feeling like i was the first i was the first person player in a video game like even reaching into the fridge like it was it was a weird reach i'm like is that my arm oh it just it just felt foreign and weird so i but i felt great i think i was eating uh three chi uh that

brand's edibles i just don't find them to be potent at all maybe i may look at something else but i gave up on edibles to even work um that uh that shit i ate edibles go man it feels it feels so much better than smoking it yeah that it's a completely different feeling i'd rather smoke it i like that feeling more um that thousand milligrams i ate on the show like like burning filthy did you see that nonsense or have we talked about me eating that edible we did right we talked about that i haven't heard that i i i promised that i would eat this ungodly edible on the show. And so I did.

When I was in Colorado, we made brownies. And you can do the math. If you want a thousand milligram edible, you can do the math. Once you've got the potency of the marijuana and the weight and everything. So we did the math and made a thousand milligrams of brownies. And I ate a thousand milligrams of brownies. Over the course of eight cupcakes. Yeah. I made them as potent as I could. And I had a thousand milligrams of brownie over the course of eight cupcakes. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I made it as potent as I could. But like when you're trying to eat a thousand milligrams, you're going to have a lot of shit unless you just want to be eating straight. It was so funny, like seeing comments after that episode of people who like don't don't know you the way like Woody and I do. They'd be like, Kyle, clearly faking. And I'm like, no kyle's a very one of my closest friends he was not faking he was having he was trying to mitigate a full-on panic at one point i've not seen the i'm not seeing the episode and i haven't heard about this so give me the two second tldr oh it was just it you know I got them all eaten about two hours into the show and just slowly, slowly had a meltdown. I was I was like this. And I think someone asked me why I was doing this.

And I was like, I'm holding on. Like I felt like I was vibrating like throughout my whole body. And like I would have these long periods of like time dilation where I couldn't tell if a moment had passed or three seconds or 10 that it was really like discombobulating was your voice coming out warbled to where like you would say something and then a half second later in your memory the way you said it was goofy and weird it was hard to like it felt like my voice was doing stuff and it was really awful like like we were talking about it in the in a call the other day and somebody was like that was wild and dirty was like you should have been in the other room he had to walk past us to get to the bathroom every time there was like he was hanging out of the wall getting in the bathroom i was like i could

barely walk um that was silly that was awful i'll never do that much again that was like that feels like super high dose of tc that's what does to me too i did a trip up to colorado with my brother we met him out there um our my my my wife and i and my uh brother's wife and him and we met out and hung out there and did a lot of that and then uh went out and saw a concert and i just tried to keep up with him i'm not super experienced with that try to keep up with him and he's uh he's a big guy a and b is much more experienced than that than i am and it was just like by the end of that concert i was just like sitting there i'm like huddled like trying not to fall over backwards

i'm not hating it i'm but like it's too much right like you're just like overwhelmed by the experience of being there so That resonates with me. There were people who responded to that episode where Kyle did it, where they're like, this isn't even a punishment. He likes weed. First of all, it wasn't supposed to be a punishment. Yeah, right? I know. It wasn't supposed to be a punishment,

but people perceived it to be kind of like the drinking episodes, but it was like, yeah, Kyle loves weed. Let's imagine for a minute that Kyle loved alcohol. And we said, over the course of an episode, he had to drink a handle of vodka. Like,

yeah, he would, he might, well, first of all, he'd be dead. I think, I don't think you can drink that much in that amount of time and not die.

But like, yeah, even if he was the biggest, like connoisseur of vodka, if he had to drink that much in that amount of time and not die but like yeah even if he was the biggest like connoisseur of vodka if he had to drink that much of it he'd be vomiting and feel like dog shit like same thing with weed yeah no that was awful that was a that was a real shitty uh uh because that was our last night there too and i had to be at the airport at like i don't know like 11 hours after i started eating those things it was i was so high on the way to the airport i like i love getting high my weed is my my drug of choice but i don't like

like waking up the next day still feeling high because then it's like even though it's not like a hangover where you're waking up like oh my goodness my head hurts and i'm dehydrated and i don't feel great but it's still enough like that weed hangover and it's only from edibles i can smoke as much as i want the night before and then you're fine by the morning but if you take a bunch of edibles like you wake up still tired you could sleep for 10 hours i don't even remember if i keep sleeping i can't remember if i slept i i there can't remember if I slept. There wasn't a lot of time between the end of the show and when I had to be up to get ready.

So I don't remember if I slept or not. I just felt awful. When it was over, there was a little bit of a hangover the next day. I wasn't sober when I got in my car at the airport back in Atlanta. I had to sit in the car for a while. That sucks to get home and then have to sit in your car and sober up listening to music or whatever. I didn't feel necessarily high. I had been high for so long that I wasn't sure if I was still high or how high I was.

It was almost like I didn't have a concept. You know what a good test for that is? That's what surviving was. Get on the highway and just gun it. What I've found over time, and it was because a friend told me this when I was much younger, where I was like,

I don't know if I'm still high the next day if I take a bunch of edibles or whatever. He was like, if you wake up and you are thinking over and over about am I high, am I i not high you're high like the fact that you're having that little debate in your head means you're still fucking high i do that a lot i do that with alcohol too really you wake up next morning wondering if you're still drunk um the the aspect of it where you're like wondering like am i drunk am i faking drunk like

you know like that i do that a lot i i but i feel like that's almost put like foisted onto you by the fact that the only time you drink is when you're doing this show right like if you if you just you and jackie decided you wanted to watch a couple episodes of the witcher and you both wanted to have some wine or something with it, you wouldn't be thinking throughout the process, am I buzzed? Am I drunk? Am I feeling this? There's something about doing this show and kind of being on and doing our thing here that you almost turn off a little part of your brain that's even keeping track of how you're doing. turn off a little part of your brain that's even keeping track of how you're doing. If I was just chilling

on my couch, I'd be much more cognizant of how high I am right now. I'm pretty high right now, though. What I do is I mix the THC-O and the THC-P. Combined OP. It's two made-up things that are probably all

just some sort of Chinese goo that I'm smoking that has no anything in it god knows what what this is we're all going to die of cancer if we keep smoking it's just extracted from hemp yeah if you say so i don't i don't know how they got all that juice out of hemp i don't know about thco that might be synthetic but delta a doesn't i i don't know what i'm smoking but it works i suppose but yeah i think there's different like tolerances and tolerance breaks or whatever for uh maybe like but delta eight isn't i i don't know what i'm smoking but it works i suppose but yeah i think there's different like tolerances and tolerance breaks or whatever for uh maybe like thco versus thcp versus like you know when i go to a legal state now like am i going to have no tolerance like because i haven't been smoking weed you will have no i can tell you this for a fact like i uh

for a long time now i've just been Delta eight, not regular weed because regular weed isn't legal here. So I was like, you know, I just take more of this and it does the same thing. May as well do that. And so I'd been doing Delta eight for months. And then I went to my brother's bachelor party in Florida and a bunch of guys flew down there and we're all having a great time. And I, I thought like, Oh, Delta eight tolerance will translate to Delta nine tolerance. Like it's got to be some of those same receptors and shit. You know, Delta nine being normal weed. And I smoked a lot of regular weed that weekend and I got unreal high.

Like, no, I'm serious. Like a couple hits off of a blunt in a circle doesn't build a tolerance at all. I thought it would and then i smoked regular weed and i got like borderline uncomfortably high off of like four hits off of a big blunt well i guess four passes so eight hits off of it but like i was not expecting that i remember i was sitting there we were all at this area like by the water in this little like cabana and everyone's passing it around. And I get it and I hit it again and pass it and it's all normal. And then I get it for probably the third time and I take my fifth and sixth hit.

And then I like do that lean back thing when you're high. And one of those like naturally lean back plastic chairs and immediately realized like, oh, you're way too high. Like you are basically a virgin you know tight butthole bitch right now when it comes to delta nine and so like i had to sit there and i was like doing that like almost crawling out of my skin but we're all just hanging out talking and so i was like all right i need to sit here for like 20 more minutes and then i can get up and leave naturally and like i even had that reminder voice in my head where it's like taylor game time you've been too high more times than you can you know how to handle this this is what we trade for if anything that little internal monologue gave me hope where i was like

yeah i've been way higher than this and handled it just fine i'm good i'm good like and then i i went this was the last night of his bachelor party. So we'd been drinking and getting fucked up for a while. That was at like 7.45 p.m. Took my fifth and sixth or seventh and eighth hit. Handed it to the next guy. I was like, I'm going to bed. I stood up and did that first person shooter walk.

Like that Doom walk where everything in doom isn't quite moving at the right paces like as you're walking oh i uh i was flying in mexico and uh the weather got bad and it knocked about 60 of my wing like out of the sky and uh it's not flying and it's wanting to turn and sort of spiral dive. I quickly got it to like 25% of my wing where I can fly with 75% of a wing and just sort of sort it out. And I thought to myself, like, because I'm on the aqua progression, I'm really good at handling this kind of problem. And it was like, you know, I'm glad that I'm the guy that this happened to because this is my forte. That's Taylor with being too high. He's like, i am the person

equipped to handle issues like this oh yeah god put me on earth to handle too much marijuana and here i am i can handle it i i there's something in my brain i i i'm too high but someone says something and i still make a joke and i'm like all right they don't think i'm too high, but someone says something and I still make a joke. And I'm like, all right, they don't think I'm too high. I just joked. What's the most inappropriate and or scary place you've ever been too high? Oh. I remember. Work.

I don't even remember the situation it was, but I had to fly through O'Hare and I was way too high to do like airport things, you know, like even the thought of like, get like, I was high when I showed up at O'Hare. I think I was hanging out with friends in Chicago.

This was like 10 years ago or something. And I went to O'Hare to fly back. That must've been it. And I was high out I showed up at O'Hare. I think I was hanging out with friends in Chicago. This was like 10 years ago or something, and I went to O'Hare to fly back. That must have been it. And I was high out of my mind, and going through was the most uncomfortable thing I ever did because I know in my mind that everyone there, all those – because when you're stoned as shit going through TSA, those are no longer retards who couldn't get other jobs. They are CIA agents on the lookout

for your malfeasance. They are on the lookout for your malfeasance. I remember walking through that and multiple airports where they have that area where you're in line for security and the two lanes becomes one and there's a big area where there's a guy with a dog and he walks back and

forth. And I remember like being so high being like, he's going to smell my breath. And so I walked, and so I walked through that area. I was, no, it's not a thing.

So I was like waiting at the area where he let you through. And I was like, he's like, all right, next person. And I'm like, and then I hold my breath through the whole thing and i'm like i'm glad we made it through that one and then held on much longer glad that it didn't take too long

yeah that's what it was like that was probably the hot being high in the airport before security horrible being high in the airport after security great so remind me to tell you of the number one um scariest after the show okay but but number two is the airport as well i think um and i give myself a pep talk pep talk before something like that um because i need to like i need to talk to all of the me's yeah We need to all get on the same page on this. You're saying like we, like the royal we referring to yourself. Yeah, all of us in here. We need to know.

Maybe there's like three Kyles. I need to talk to those other two. We need to be on the same page. So I'm basically like, look, the average person is so fucking stupid that it's not going to matter that you're slow, you don't understand instructions, and they have to tell you three times because they deal with this on the daily. No one will think you're high. They'll think you're stupid. You're stupid today. Be stupid.

Don't be embarrassed. You're stupid're stupid oh you didn't understand you take the shoes off ask them why you take the shoes off quiz them about it they'll know you're stupid and so that's what i do i just be stupid me she's like she's like id and i'm like you're who your id no i'm kyle I'm like, you're who? Your ID! No, I'm Kyle. She legitimately asked me to show her my ID. And because I'm so high, this is after the edible. I don't know what she wants.

If she wants me to hand it to her there's a bit of plexiglass between us do i mash it against it like you might at a club like i don't know what she wants and so i'm just like i hold it up and smile but like every step of the way i was fucking up right like i didn't grab my tray and like fast enough like like i i think i had you were holding up people because you were like taking your no it wasn't that busy but but like i was bad at getting to the airport and and i had this real awkward conversation with like a tsa guy like where i thought i was i was like still playing stupid but i need to play stupid because i am stupid this the quote-unquote playing stupid is

just me having excuse for why i'm so high really and making and and now that i have an excuse for being high now i don't panic because i'm so high and i remember not being sure if my mask was going to be like appropriate like if they had like like if they were going to allow my mask because i've got one of those that it's like a neckerchief that you pull up and it looks like a bandaid like a half mask type thing. Yeah, the gator thing. That's a cool look. I like that. Someone said that was the douchey look.

No. You are a Kyle. Look, I just think it's easy to pull the thing out. Would I lead you astray to make you look foolish no then the fucking left ear is the gay ear because i just picked the one that fucking fits well and and like it's easy to not lose and now you've made me lose my train of thought because i'm stoned

no you were you were playing stupid not sure yeah i walked up your mask wasn't appropriate because it's not see the reason i i was confused is because that even though i was wearing that like neck gator douchebag kyle mask um they they handed me this little like the cheapest temporary paper mask you've ever seen throw that in the trash garbage we'll see what i took what stoned me took and keep in mind you know there's the chatter of the the airport line part i thought she was like what it was is she wanted me to wear that one for the scanner for some reason like even like she didn't want me to wear mine do this maybe it was bunched up i think that is the case but she didn't explain that or i didn't hear that so So I kept wearing it and I thought she was like, your mask is no good here.

Don't wear your mask. That's what I heard. You've got an illegal mask. And now I'm thinking like, if I were to wear this mask any deeper in the airport, I might be subject to further questioning and I will not stand up to such a, such a questioning. So, so I like walk up to this TSA guy and I'm like is my mask okay am I wearing the wrong mask and he's like what are you talking about I'm like you think that guy gives a fuck I had the

most awkward conversation with him ever he was like is this mask okay pretty much whatever we should sell something like a hoodie that you wear backwards so you just walk around with like a little hoodie in front

and then when you need your mask you can go to the and it's got a cut out band yeah it's like a balaclava type thing maybe it has a cool face makes you look something I don't know like the Joker I like this

it gives you makes you look something i don't know like the joker i like this i don't know where we're going for a brief it gives you like one of those mexican death masks oh yeah yeah yeah right or i'm not opposed to the joker we could do a couple different ones but the idea that it's like a backwards hoodie and then you and you're mask ready i like it thieves love them wait so they were the backwards hoodie to let for covid but criminals in like south america just they're just gross that shit's already happening have you seen all the videos in like south america where it's like subject breaks into a convenience store and robs it but but was wearing a mask, so we don't know who it is. When I go

to the pharmacy to pick up drugs for Kitty, I wear my mask, which isn't really a douchey mask. Am I not supposed to wear that one? I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. This is what we should sell.

I don't see the joke. This is cool. I just want to go through the airport. And they're like, you give them your ID and you just refuse to zip it down no no no no the id is that the id is a picture of that and you're like i'm so sorry let me fix this i take it off and reveal myself to be pushing 50 in that fucking thing.

Kyle, are there like, they were saying there were masks that you're not supposed to wear anymore? No, he was high. He was worried about that. He was worried because he knows. So that was whole cloth invented by you in the moment. Well, it was a misunderstanding, but like now the sober me in retrospect believes that as I went through the scanner, they wanted me to put on that little thin papery thing so the scanner

could scan better. And they fully intended to... Hiding a blade in your crazy mask. But what I heard was like, you can't wear that here. What she meant was like, take it off because of the scanner, blah, blah, blah. But I heard like, don't wear that in the airport or we'll interrogate you, druggie. So meant was like i take it off because the scanner blah blah blah but i heard like don't wear that in the airport it will interrogate you druggie so i was like i was like having a whispered conversation with some random tsa guy about is my mask okay she said my mask

wasn't okay i don't know if my mask is okay and he's like we do not have a mask policy i don't know where he was from but he said i do not care what you do what what do you think i care where you wear a mask from that's basically what i got from him he had he did he was like i just do not care if you wear the mask any mask we do and and i that's how i would be if i was an airline employee no just fucking put put a sock in front of your mouth i don't give a shit just something so i don't have to get involved but like every like i was just i'm afraid of like getting into an instance where i have to explain myself because i know i'm going to be bad at doing that you're allowed to be dumb like i i've taken that same strategy right it's not illegal to be stupid i got pulled over for

driving too fast all right here's what i. Keep in mind, I'm like 21. So it's not current me. That was some other guy. Don't hold me responsible for what 21-year-old me did. Yeah, that was almost a Taylor Lifetime joke. A law doesn't. Why would we? Anyway, there was a person driving too slowly in the passing lane.

So I passed him on the right and I gave him a dirty ass look. To my surprise, he turned on his police lights and pulled me over. Anyway. Oh, no. Yeah. I was mean mugging him on the way by. So he pulls me over and he's like, you passed me on the right. And, you know, you were looking at me and i'm like

looking at you like i don't i'm very confused why you like was i looking at you when i went by was it because of the this finger no that's how that's how i i point to other moments he's like do you know how fast you were going and i'm like no i don't recall too fast i'm sure and uh he's like well i was going the speed limit therefore you must have been speeding and passing on the right and i'm i don't even understand this concept he's like well if i'm going the speed limit and you pass me then you're going too fast and i i'm not getting it. So he eventually just sort of scared me and let me go. I did something, something stupid like that.

When I was like 16 driving, I was flying down the left lane of highway 64. And I saw like a cop in the far right lane and I was going past him but in my head i was like being 16 i'm like thinking it's more complex than it is so i'm like oh i need to slow down slowly so he doesn't think i'm slowing down because of him i need to convince him that i'm a good motorist and so like i went past him still speeding and got pulled over, you know, obviously right away,

got a ticket, but no, nothing else to the story there. But it was just me being a fucking retard thinking like, Oh, if I pass this cop, I need to slowly decelerate as opposed to now where it'd be like, Oh cop,

right behind him. I had the opposite philosophy. i saw a cop i would hit the brakes hard to let him know that i acknowledge his authority probably overthinking it too but that was my head my headspace you're you're you're so funny in the ways that like you think something is like mild rebellion and it's actually saying, fuck you to the police. Like I'm just, I'm going to slow down a little bit and then reassume my acceleration. I'm not,

you know, I need to keep going fast. I don't know. I still don't think it's that crazy. Like hit the brakes nice and hard and let the cop know. Like I, I see you, my bad.

You spooked me. You do. Yeah. I do hate hate cops they spook me all the time is that you might be breaking a lot of walls i feel like that you hate cops for spooky no i just feel like cops are like in this shitty position it's like 99 of the time your interaction with them is shitty until you have the interaction where it's good right like it's like okay you're a kid you're you're drinking for me it was drinking before 21 right and i had a bunch of run-ins with cops for that right so that was always like fucking cops and then i had something where i had some guy sucker punch me in the head and break my jaw

and the cops were just like about like trying to like get this guy's information and figure out what happened to make sure everything got taken care of i'm like oh that's not so bad so i feel like it's the same thing it's like you're speeding by and you're like why the fuck do i give a shit if the speed limit's you know 70 and i'm going 75 is that a big deal no you're like fuck that guy and then your house gets robbed and you're like i need the cops and you were i mean the problem with this is that you're approaching it from a reasonable adult and i'm being an edgy bitch will you sucker punch for any reason are you a hundred percent innocent yeah at the end of that it turns out this guy was like he had there was a team in high school it was a team we had a

football rivalry with but i wasn't a football player and i wasn't at all interested in football whatsoever and it was something like this guy was probably looking for fights would probably boil it down to and i i literally got tapped on the shoulder, turned around, punched in the side of the jaw and had my jaw broken. Oh, fuck. That sucks. So some cunt suckered you. Yes. Basically.

Yeah. I remember I was talking to a guy in high school and he got sucker punched in a similar way. And he's like my whole life. Whenever somebody told me his whole life, he's like 17. And he's like, my whole life, whenever somebody told me his whole life, he's like 17. When someone told me that they didn't do anything, I assume they did a little something that they mouthed off. He's like, I didn't do anything. And I don't even know how to tell the truth of it without sounding like an asshole.

But what would happen is we would go to these like sand lots by the bay or ocean or something and people would drink and then sometimes a group of like 12 black people would just come and beat up white people and that's what they just would like show up and attack white people yeah and everyone would split and uh he got hit for being white. That's pretty fucked up. For a bunch of people to just show up and start fights. Really? You think that's fucked up? I think that's adolescent fucking men, right? Like, that is...

No, but, I mean, that behavior... I had my job broken for exactly the same reason. You remember when we were kids, Taylor? We'd hunt the Mexicans down and beat them. You remember? We'd bring them down and we'd fuck them up. Yes, we would. It got to be a thing.

I remember the football team and wrestlers were like, you know what? Let's hang out together. And next time they come, we're not running. And they were better. Damn. You should have got the archery team on board for that. The marksman team

fucking blot out the yeah the swim team wasn't involved in that see they should have let alone throw a ball lure these men into water no you know

the swim team emerges they don't even do it themselves they're like talking to the dolphin legs they ran yeah the idea of a white group of children being like hold as like a group of black miscreants come up to fight them in this situation. That's hilarious. Just, no, don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes. I knew where that was going.

But all I see is the white. Well, that's what you, isn't that why? Wasn't that the whole thing? You see the whites of their eyes and then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah that way you'd know

they were um within range that they couldn't turn around and get away from your firing which like thinking about revolutionary war shit that sucks like imagine being that guy charging in and then they just unload on you because they haven't established rules of war again yet. How do you get people to be in the front? It seems like the – Especially running at things, right? Yeah, like – So he's talking about revolutionary war.

I'm real fast, but that guy's a little slower. I'm going to stick behind him. Taylor's talking about the revolutionary war, and he's right, but back up a little more. Now we have swords and shields or spears or something like that who wants to be in the front of this collision who and that's where onto a like a fucking like fortress you kidding me i'm going like 10 i think that i think that the answer to that question is why like when there were instances of professional armies versus like the, come on, everybody get together.

We got to fight armies. Like it was so obvious. Like, like I think there was a lot of pub stomping back in the day when the Spartans or specifically, or like the, or the Romans like, like came on the scene,

like later on, like when you had well organized armies that were trained, like, like, you know, there's that, that, that say what you want about 300,

but one of the cooler scenes is when Leonidas is asking the Athenian or whoever, they brought so many, like, what is your profession? I'm a potter. And it was like, what about you? Sculptor. And like, Spartans!

What is your profession? And they just go, Aroo! Aroo! Aroo! Dude, that scene is so fucking cool. And then with his fucking Scottish accent, he's like, I brought more soldiers than you did.

Literally like Sean Connery, I brought more soldiers than you ted it's not the coolest scene in that movie in that moment they're establishing the bond between leonidas and his wife and um because later his wife is gonna have to be anyway he's fucking her but from behind and i was just like oh this is a better marriage than a regular one. Oh, yeah. He was absolutely pillaging that pussy.

I just felt like they did a cinematic greatness by showing him taking her in three positions in a session. It wasn't lame. They were made for each other. It's a damn good movie. It's a damn good movie. I'm going to tell you right now. It's a great movie. Dude, the scene,

I remember, this is probably on 4chan like 14 years ago when I read it. But they were like, you know, the way that like it accelerates between levels of difficulty for the Spartan soldiers. Yeah. It's literally like a video game. Yeah. Yeah. Spartan soldiers. It's literally like a video game. It's like, oh, they have to overtake the charging

rhino class right now. Okay, what are they going to do there? Oh, they have to overtake the elephant class. What are they going to do there? It was great. Yeah, that's what it is. They keep coming with bigger and bigger waves, but it's like full of one-liners and cool moments and

the makeup and the effects and the the the cgi like whatever they're doing with that whole background makeup gave leonidas a six pack yeah fuck yeah spray that bitch on you can't expect gerard butler and you know i fell for it hook line and sinker i'm like this guy turned himself in from dad bod to Spartan soldier. First of all, he did bulk up pretty good. He was absolutely jacked. During 300. Look at

him more critically again, and you will see that he had painted on muscles. I saw the painted on muscles, I know. I saw it fairly recently. But all the other guys. Some of those other guys. all the other guys some of those other guys all the other guys were shredded they were so depends on how big a role they had like if they're the role the more jacked they were yeah yes that's exactly it yeah yeah

the bigger the come on now he looks really there. Get this fucking propaganda off the screen. Get this out of here. He looked a little worse than some of the other scenes are in my memory. I feel like I was disproven right there. But yeah, the bigger actors were chosen for their ability to act. The smaller the role, though, they got to be fitness models. Yeah. Makes sense.

Now, the second one really blew, though, the sequel. And I i was like the sequel was horrible yeah there's a sequel yeah 300 302 or whatever 301 we're doing it again it was genuinely very bad yeah but i liked it a little more than you but yeah i i like the sex scene with Eva Green another doggy style scene I'm sure Woody appreciated he's a big fan Eva Green might be the most beautiful woman who's ever lived I'm a big fan of her she's an actress

she does a lot of nude scenes look up Eva Green the movie is called The Dreamers if you want to see her vagina oh 2003 I haven't seen Casino Royale either but she's in that the movie is called The Dreamers if you want to see her vagina I'm thinking it I haven't seen Casino Royale either but she's in that

that might be my that's not Prime Eva Green Prime Eva Green is The Dreamers there's a movie she's in called Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children that's a porno is that for kids with like two pussies?

Yeah. Yeah, it is. That's exactly what it is. Just, just thinking about there being a movie called Ms. Peregrine's home for peculiar children. And it's about girls,

pussies. Funny. Well, filthy. We always love having you here. Love having you. Look, you folks over at Magic the Gathering corporate, Big Magic, as it's known on the streets. Big Magic, yeah. This guy is one of your top ten streamers,

and you've just been treating him like a second-class citizen. Treating him like a slave. It saddens us here. It saddens us all. It makes me want to tear my magic cards up and burn them in the streets just like they did in the good old days back in the fatherland. Praise Christ.

I want to ask Filthy something. I'm sorry. Filthy, I told my friend that I knew the best Civilizations player on the planet. Okay. Do you think you might have been? Yeah. All right.

I fucking love that. Yeah. Yeah. I do. No, I agree. You can never nail that down, right? You can't. Sure, sure.

There's like one or two tournaments. I played in one and won it. Three shitty players could team up on you and make you look like you're not the best but like we looked at there was a guy he did it for um he did he probably did it for fun but he did as part of his grad school stuff he did an analysis of like he broke down all my games and then broke them down by like win rate and like i had some stupid percentage win rate like if you think about this you're playing six-way free for us which was the primary thing i did with this i had some stupid win rate for this like way way way above what you would expect from like i was in like the 60 percent like 60th like i say this winning 60 of my games in a six-way free for all or something like that right okay

so so equal chance is like insane that right so four over four times what you should be doing right and then and then like the only tournaments we played like i won the tournaments i played in and then like the other players i'm playing against there's some really good players there and i can't say that i was better than them because there's no way to there's no way to prove that necessarily all you can do is look back my win ratios versus those players i've also looked at that like i had winning ratios versus all the people i would have considered good players in this game. Like my primary opponents, I would have said, yeah.

You know, like my win ratios versus them in free-for-alls in games that we played together, I have the highest win ratio from those. Does that make me a good player then? Probably. It certainly makes me a good player. But does it make me the best? I don't know. I can't say that. And whenever I got asked that on the stream, I would always say that.

There's, you know, I'm definitely in the top tier of players there's a number of top players that's all i can go i've watched and played an embarrassingly enormous amount of content of that game like lately but if you took the amount of play in the amount that i've watched it's a shocking amount and and it's an embarrassing amount it's a shameful amount and you have done so much more than I have. You know, and I couldn't say that now. Like, you know, there's definitely players still playing who have been playing this past when I've played. Dude, there are.

Dude, I was playing recently. Like, I got back into it like maybe eight months ago, call it. I think maybe like there was a new LEC mod or something. Like, they came up with a new thing. And we all got into it, installed all our mods, got familiar with it, learned the meta. There is a current meta. I had a blast with it.

But the same old problems were cropping up. We'd get disconnects and all the resets. Oh, no, you leave. You have to leave. And then the whole thing. All of that bullshit again and we would play 12 hour games you know and you get the end of a 12 hour game

old world check this game out it's a new time it's a new 4x I'll send it to you after because I want some kettlebell shit from you that we're not going to get to on the show and I'll send you I'll send you the I'll send you a link to old world which is my my 4x right now but probably so I don't think I know at the end of the show here so I don't want to drag this on forever yeah no no where are you going that woody so

i think probably but i can't prove that and i don't want to claim that but i think probably okay yeah i would agree i would agree i i don't think i followed the the the super scene as much as you did but like i don't know tank and who are all those guys? Arbius, Bobbo was up there. Arbius was up there. Yoris was a very good player. There's just a number of players. A lot of those guys still play. Yeah.

I was watching a lot of streams recently. But in any case, yeah, I think you were the best player. You were more analytical, and I think that that gave you a really big edge. Filthy's a very analytical guy. That's how he makes his a really big edge. Filthy's a very analytical guy. That's how he makes his bones in different games. He's a really smart, analytical guy with a psychology degree. Like a serial killer.

Like a successful rapist. Which of you guys had told me the key to this? Here I am. Do you know how intelligent, educated, suave, manipulative you have to be to be a successful rapist in the 21st century? He's never, ever been caught for pedophilia?

The only organization on the planet who has ever had a whiff of the evil that lurks in this man. Magic. They were able to look into that crystal ball. I've been wrong about in this man. Magic. That's him. Magic. They were able to look into that crystal ball and they stopped.

I've been wrong about that, man. They stopped. But before you leave even tonight, Filthy, I got to get your fucking magic name so we can play some games, even offline.

Even offline. I'm totally... Play some historic games. It's Raid Daddy 69 420. Oh, I know I can hang. Okay. Yeah, he's totally not a pedo 69. Good luck.

All right. I didn't realize the trick to this. I've been doing this for years. I don't know how many. I think this is my like 28th or 30th occurrence on the show. It's something ridiculous. It is ridiculous. Like the number for that.

I didn't realize the trick was just to get high midway through the fucking show. Like you should have told me I've been drinking this entire time and sometimes I make it through the end of the show and sometimes I don't. Sometimes it's not quite on kilter. You should have just told me. All I needed to do was take an edible midway through. Oh yeah, just take the edibles. I wish you'd just been upfront about that.

I'm sorry. I did eat two more of these, so I'm at 125 milligrams. I'm feeling pretty fucked. See what I'm talking about? I'm feeling pretty I'm feeling pretty fucking high right now 125? I thought 25 was a dose well that's delta 8

please finish the story you were telling some person not that I just wanted to know if I was being accurate I thought you were the best in the world or at least like it's hard to say whether it's Michael Jordan probably was michael jordan or lebron james or there's probably more um you're one of those okay that's all it's a weird it's a weird flex right because like what is that worth in the greater scheme of thing nothing nothing exactly but at the same time like i did that thing that was i'll tell you, I was watching your videos like eight months ago.

Literally pen and pad. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Because a lot of it still plays. It's literally just build orders and remembering when to do what. Little things. Calculating overflow and stuff.

I love to hear it. I see it all the time. I get people on my Twitch stream all the time saying Connie, you're shit on YouTube. love to hear it all the time i get people in my my twitch stream all the time saying connor shit on youtube love to hear it so cheers yeah and like i was watching one of your games and i was like man that guy's playing with i don't know what the fuck he's doing it was me you know what's funny is i remember i was watching one of your streams once and i the only thing i had was, he played that board wipe too early and then you lost. And I was like, yeah, I'm a genius. Yeah, yeah, I'm a genius.

You should have waited one turn for the board wipe. And I'll pay you one more compliment before we wrap up. But like every time I go to, I tune into your Twitch a good bit. Everyone should. Filthy Robot on Twitch. Check him out. Follow him. I had a long break. i go to i tune into twitch a good a good bit and uh everyone should filthy robot on twitch check them out follow them and i had a long break i've had a rough fucking year mate guys and um this has been streaming for me it's been real hard recently and nothing nothing there's no there's no sob

story about it like it's just been this shit has been mentally fucking with me recently so i'm just getting back into it so appreciate good well every time i come on there you're on a different some positive support then yeah i don't know appreciate it. Good. Well, every time I come on there, you're on a different. Let's give Filthy some positive support then. Yeah, head on over to Filthy's Twitch. Every time I go over there, you're on a different game. Then, you know, the last time I was there. And you're already so deep into it. You're explaining to someone's asked you a real question.

You're just like, we'll see what you got to understand. When you're playing Excelsior, you're at a third health all the time, essentially because of the shield region. And we're playing on a map that has electric storms. So you got to take that into effect. So we're at 50, 50 shields all the time. So we're going to run a black pawn.

Okay. Everyone understand. Are we keeping up class? And let's put that in perspective because this is not a valuable attribute by and large. it isn't this doesn't translate outside of this but that's what i love to do what you just described no i disagree i think comedy that i love that shit i want to i want a game that grabs me so deeply that i'm sitting there going sit i want to wake up each morning going this is and i do this sometimes

with games like i'll wake up in the morning or be in the shower thinking about this shit and this is like what i want from a gaming experience and i want a community and i have a community by and large that likes this the diehards who follow me for this who follow me game to game as we deep dive the shit that's what that's what i'm passionate about with this stuff that's what grabs me it's like i want and i love multiplayer competitive i can do that where i'm playing against other people because the problem with ai in any any stack any game where you're just playing against the computer is it it does a thing always and it does that same thing by and large do you ever wish that that instead of you know playing video games that you were in some sort of a cia think tank figuring out how to break a russian code or

figuring i think it would trigger some of the same joy. Exactly. Because it's like the competition against other minds and just trying to break the other mind. Absolutely. All right. Well, go check out Filthy on Twitch. Check out our cum pills. Welcome Woody back. Be nice to him.

Let him know how happy you are he has returned and his powerful greatness. Veins bulging on every inch of him. That's it. Hope you guys enjoyed. PKA 580.