Painkiller Already - PKA 585 W/ Adi Shankar - Patreon Questions, How to Open up the Back Door, Mental Health Superheroes

Episode Date: March 5, 2022

P.K.A. 585 with our guest Addie Taylor. This episode of P.K.A. brought to you by Blue Chew, Lucy, and the best cum pills available anywhere in the world. Lock and load. Start coming like a man. You want to increase that load volume. It'll be a lot of fun. Your orgasms will be better. Thanks for coming on the show, Addie.

Addie, I feel bad. You are a man of class. And here we are on P.K.A. 585. No man above a good cum pill No I love the beard like a very intense hard line beard a John Hamm-esque beard

It looks like it's been threaded. You ever see when they thread the line of someone's facial hair and there's two strings that slowly tear it out? Yeah That sounds terrible. That's got to be something from some cultural group or something like, oh, that's how Iranians do this. Like, I don't know, but

wherever it is, they are gluttons for punishment. That looks awful. Do you know what we're talking about, Eddie? The threading of the beard line? No, no idea. It's like thin fishing line and it has a loop in it and they just pull it tight and pluck the whisker. They're rapidly doing it.

They're expert at it. And this is something that you do? No. No, I'm not nearly manly enough. But your beard line was so well-defined, they were suggesting that maybe that's how you got it done. All I heard was Jon Hamm, and I was like, yeah, I like these guys. That's very nice.

Yeah, I can't imagine someone ever being offended being compared to Jon Hamm. Maybe George Clooney. Maybe George Clooney would be offended, but that's about it. Wow. Maybe. He's starting to get to the age where even good looks genetics,

he's getting old you think george clooney he's getting on a bit all right i haven't seen him in person i don't know if you're go ahead to kyle i was gonna say if you're gonna marry one of the older hollywood uh uh hot fellas like brad pitt or uh leo's really falling off but that's gonna allow him to do more character stuff i'm glad leo's not as good looking anymore. Jon Hamm, he's on Curb Your Enthusiasm a lot with Larry David. Looks like he's just enjoying himself. Good looking fella. It's that

Jon Stamos, I think, who's got the staying power though. He's got that good jawline. I hear you. I don't think you're giving Justin Bateman his due. They gave the makeup and the CGI on him for Netflix. I don't think that's real at all. I'm 99% sure you're making that up. Well, the makeup and the cgi on him for netflix i don't i don't think that's real at all i think i'm 99 sure you're making that up well the makeup has to be true yeah we're talking

tangentially about netflix we have someone who works directly with netflix with us so you're behind castlevania i have not seen that but i saw that like i really it's it's big in the world and i was like oh shit that's like a big show like and this guy's behind that so that's right was the one that i knew it was that the first big project you undertook with netflix i have a question for you of course that background is that is that like uh is that your actual background? Or is that like a... This is... Kyle took a bunch of time to actually staple up all that shit behind him, and so I put

his exact background as a green screen behind me. Just more joking with Kyle. To have a better looking, cleaner version of it. That's amazing. That's amazing. Because... And I hope I'm not offending anyone

here but but kyle uh taylor's taylor's looks better than yours and the fact that taylor's is fake and yours is the real deal that's kind of like uh you know when the copy of the copy of the copy all of a sudden like – Yeah. Is the true master version. But he doesn't have the wonderful sound dampening benefits of the black and red wall. Oh, that is true because when you talk, there's a dampening that I – Oh, yeah. Taylor, I'm not getting any of that with you, buddy. No, no dampening whatsoever. There's an element of like false advertising. Taylor, I'm not getting any of that with you, buddy.

No, no dampening whatsoever. There's an element of false advertising. He's not very funny either, if you ask me. That's a terrible addition to the show. Nobody likes him. Yeah, but your background can't even change to other things. The problem was back in the early days, we had this contract where we had to pay the third host by the pound, like whatever they weighed.

And so we had to go with a skinnier fella. And that's what we've done. That would be an interesting. Is it too stupid to be called a thought experiment? Like how much would you be willing to gain and be fat for more money at your job? If Taylor got paid by the pound, he wouldn't be cheaper anymore. He would have used the last seven years. He's really been getting more and more expensive, but with his workout regimen and his Cheez-Its addiction.

That's true. Those things combine for a lot of mass. It's like an 80-20 bad to good breakdown. We might all be heavier, though. Oh, no, you've lost a lot of weight, Woody. I'm lighter than I was. I'm like 205 or 206 right now, I think.

I weighed in at 199 last time, so that's close. That was a few days ago. Yeah. Our composition is probably wildly off. I'm putting on that baby fat. We've been bulking hard. I would love to hear all about this. I want to talk to our guest about Castlevania because I really enjoyed Castlevania.

I thought that just like in Bram Stoker's Dracula the movie, he presented like a sympathetic version of Dracula. I was on Dracula's team the whole way. Like, if anything, I didn't like the ending of Castlevania because I was just like, why are we all rallying against the clear good guy here? I mean, the clergy got together and murdered this guy's wife while he was away from home. And he comes home and seeks revenge, and somehow he's the bad guy.

Are you a gamer? Yeah. And you guys are all gamers? Mm-hmm. Clearly, Woody, you are. You've got to call a duty back, Black Ops. I get passionate about games, and then I completely withdraw. I am a sawtooth pattern of gaming.

Why did you ask? This is going real well. Is it? What does a producer do? You don't seem to want to talk about your project like we're trying to engage you about like what you do right and sort of lead that into us picking your brain a bit about yeah future projects and you're just like you got an interesting background and hey do you play video games you do i mean i'm happy not to talk about you if that's what you'd prefer i know you're a gamer because i can see pokemon and something that is a pokemon right there that's a that's a it is it's a dead-eyed was that it it is yeah yeah it's a louis vuitton pokemon are you serious yeah yeah and look i got

uh earthbound right there i didn't know louis vuitton made pokemon ah i guess yeah so it's uh it's actually like an artist named uh gabriel de shaw um friend of mine he kind of repurposes uh louis vuitton and gucci stuff and so he made he made me like a star wars walker but it's like uh yeah is it does it have a function is it a bag is it no but it looks it's got a handle but it's like literally got a handle uh and um you can bring it to the airport or wherever you go well it would be cool it'd be cool if there was like a like a bluetooth thing so it would kind of like walk and like follow you that would be kind if there was a Bluetooth thing so it would walk and follow you. That would be kind of rad. That would be neat.

It seems like Elon Musk would be the one to talk to about that. Although he hasn't finished his whole digging project, his internet thing. I don't know if that's going anywhere. So I don't think robots are quickly on the horizon. The cyber truck was made up, as the car experts we've had on have confirmed. So the internet thing is interesting, right? I saw them talk to the president about the Internet thing because they delivered a lot of the Starlink terminals to make sure the Ukrainians can have Internet, even if the hard lines and the towers are shot down and all that stuff. And so it must at least kind of work.

I think it works as long as you've got like the infrastructure, which is what he like quickly shipped them somehow. And I was surprised like we were talking about that that guy who promised a million or 100 million rounds to the Ukrainians earlier. And I was like, it's gonna be hard to get to him if you don't like know how to get. I wouldn't know how to ship ammo to Ukraine right now. But somehow Elon Musk shipped those terminals like overnight, like to Ukraine. I saw the ukrainians unloading them from a truck wow i did not see that i want to get that starlink thing for my dad because he lives in that shitty area where like the internet is so unreliable and weak

it would be great to like every time i go over there when i see him watching like gun smoke i'm like we got to get you like a dvd player for sure, dad. You got to stop watching. Is it good enough? Oh, on satellite. On satellite. This is old school. This is old school stuff. We're way too far behind. He was always the cutting edge guy growing up.

He was the one who was like, oh, yeah, this new TV does this, that, and the other. Oh, these new speakers? Mm-hmm. This is the way. And at some point, he was like, it's good enough. There was a point where the two lines intersected, his eyesight and technology. He was like, we're staying right here. He doesn't have Netflix. He can't do it?

Can't do it. When he comes over to my house, and I'm like, what do you want to watch? He's like, you've got way more. We could literally sit here for the next four hours, and I could give you the options. I've got every single conceivable channel. I don't know how he sits there and watches Gunsmoke. I'll tell you what I did watch last night. It's the Kanye West new song with the game. It's called Easy, E-A-Z-Y.

And it is the most petty shit I have ever seen in my life from a millionaire, famous man named Kanye West. It is all about... Music video? Music video, yeah. With him rapping a millionaire, famous man named Kanye West. It is all about music video. Yeah. With him rapping to it, right? You're familiar with those. The way you said it, I didn't know if this was like a mini documentary of hate. No, this is a three minute music video where he's shitting on

Pete Davidson and like murdering Pete Davidson and burying him up to his neck in sand and planting roses on him and cutting the roses off of his dead body and like being super petty through this whole thing and like calling him out by name talking about just figured out pete davidson's fucking kim kardashian that's why he's upset yeah yeah yeah pete davidson doesn't get enough credit for all the women he slept with in the same lifetime. I give him credit. In the same lifetime.

Yeah. What other time period could you split it up? He's got Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, and I'm pretty sure there's another heavy hitter in there. This man should be worshipped. Did you say something? I said he's got to be. There's got to be. I'm sure. I'm sure he's had more than two women in his life as a as a good-looking rich man on snl but somehow or another um kanye is incredibly petty there's

one line in the song it's like i'm talking about how how good look he's like i wish you could see my new bitch and and then something about being too bugatti rich uh it was it was a pretty good line but it was still it was just so petty he's bragging about how hot his new girlfriend is while at the same time wanting to beat up pete davidson like like it's it's pretty wild beckinsale is she's like in her model right she's 48 um i don't know how old she was when he dated her though yeah that's interesting i think i think um the guy who made all of those kate beckinsale movies um is like was her husband or boyfriend, like all those, like, all those movies where she's fighting vampires and stuff.

Underworld. Yeah. Yeah. Eddie, what does a producer do? That's a good question. Well, you know, i think like the the long convoluted answer uh here uh is job titles in hollywood have stayed the same for decades for generations but technology has caused like uh the jobs to fundamentally change. Right. And then also the, the financial business apparatus that governs, uh, the Hollywood ecosystem has also shifted. Right. So like, um, like what a director did, for instance, during the studio system era,

uh, it's very different than what happened, like, uh, call it during the call it during the eighties and nineties. And then what also complicates things is things change depending on the genre. If, if that makes sense. Right. So like, so like what a writer does in a comedy, as an example is very so like what a writer does in a comedy as an example is very different than what a writer does in uh an action movie versus uh like a like a period drama okay right so like the writer in the in the in the king's speech for for instance, is doing something fundamentally different than the writers who wrote The Hangover. And I'm not saying one's better than the other, but comedies, for instance, especially after digital technology became a thing, comedies started using a lot of

improv because we're no longer shooting on like film reels so you can just keep the camera rolling and so improv became a thing with comedies right so a lot of comedies then started being found in the edit and so so really like when you look at like the entertainment uh ecosystem at large it doesn't all work in one way. And then it's all been further complicated by streaming. So now, I'm gonna like pivot this to my new show. That's just out. That's why I'm like.

I'm happy to talk about your show, but I find it interesting that I understood and comprehended everything you've said, yet I know nothing about what a producer does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. I'm getting to that. I'm getting to that. Okay, okay. So it's an ill-defined catch-all term.

And that's fundamentally kind of the problem with it. that's fundamentally kind of the, the, the, the, the problem with it. And the, um, the, so it's like, it's like the problem. And then also it's kind of okay at the same time, because it doesn't really like have a, an issue. What I said just made absolutely no fucking sense. Sorry. It doesn't cause problems. So why change it? Yeah, exactly. It doesn't cause any problems. but um so and the problem in in in my opinion is the producer could be the person who is actually physically like producing the the like the project. And by that, I mean like scheduling the, you know,

finding the locations, like scheduling the, the, like the shoots, figuring out like when, where, how this is, this is being done. Right. The producer could also be like a, like a brand, you know? So, and by that example, I mean like, so sometimes it'll say like Steven Spielberg produced by Steven Spielberg or produced by Michael Bay.

Right. And sometimes that could just mean like, Hey, look, this person is associated with this type of content. So. Yeah. It gives a little extra push when Michael Bay is out there. They don't do anything when they're a brand. They just help sell the film.

I wouldn't say don't do anything because again, it's a case by case basis and it's very different. And I would argue that marketing support sometimes is very crucial. And then sometimes... I'm reminded of the scene in Office Space where they ask, what is it that you do? Not a people person. Those engineers down there, they don't know how to

work with people. I'm a people person. Those engineers down there, they don't know how to work with people. I'm a people person. What a great movie. Yeah, that makes sense about the writers, though. It would be way easier to be a writer for a comedy that's not written in 1961, where you can kind of just be like, oh, let's just let John C. Reilly kind of riff

for two minutes and we'll get something better. Totally, totally. And, you know, so it ends up being like kind of riff for two minutes and we'll get something better. Totally. Totally. So it ends up being like kind of a story structure thing. Also, yeah, I'm happy to answer more questions. Otherwise, I'll just keep

rambling. But also, for my new show that just came out on Tuesday called the Guardians of Justice, the full title is the Guardians of Justice will save you. It's a, it's a, it's a spoof. Effectively a spoof played completely straight of Batman andman and the justice league um okay yeah so so like that one for just to kind of use it as an example um it was it's not just live action it's live live action, 2d animation, 3d animation, claymation, stop motion, uh, pixel art,

uh, kind of all cross pollinated together. Uh, yeah, yeah. And it shifts within, within like, uh, uh, within one scene. Right. But, but okay. Uh, so, but, uh, I'm wondering if I should get into that, but like, so like the reason the claymation is so important in this equation. Right. So if I, if I show you a live action still frame image or sorry, not a live action image. Right.

And then I show you a cartoon and I cut them in or cut them. Your mind will probably reject that. Cause you you're like that's just a weird medium shift yeah but then if i put in a shot of claymation in between it as a as a transition oh no i love claymation when i when i when i mentioned that what i was going to ask like that's really time intensive stuff right like they can point a camera at somebody and say run across the room and yeah three takes how many takes at somebody and say, run across the room and three takes. How many takes do we need of this guy running across the room? Really?

He didn't trip. But claymation, we're there for a while moving. Yes. Yeah. And these are artists, not guys who are just saying, all right, now move us like forward. There's an artist down there. That must be incredible.

Yeah. Yeah. And the whole dude, the whole, this entire project took me six and a half years and I don't mean six and a half year. Oh, I was developing it. And then I mean, like literally I was in production, like sculpting and D for six and a half years. And the point I was making about claymation, um, claymation is technically animation, right? As far as you pointed out, it's animation. But it's using live action photography because it's also real and you're actually filming real stuff, right?

a 2d animation shot and then you have claymation in the middle all of a sudden it kind of allows your mind to accept the shifting mediums no the claymation ends up being the glue that holds all the mediums together that sort of transition between media formats is that something that you thought of or is that something whose idea is that so that's um yeah it was me but it's also it's not like i thought of it this is how my uh my mind processes information so like when i uh when i like uh like remember like my childhood or memories or whatnot. Like it's usually in a, in different forms of hyper-reality. So sometimes it'll feel like cartoony. Sometimes it will feel like more film noir. Sometimes it will feel like literally like,

like we're in a Looney Tunes Roadrunner, Roadrunner piece. So this felt like an accurate representation of that. And I also chilled out more now. But I used to, when I was younger, I had issues speaking,

communicating. I was not very good at that because I was dealing with intense sensory overload. So I was trying to convey that in this show. So when you watch the guardians of justice, or if, if you do,

I plan to, I plan to, you, you, it'll be like, it'll be like sensory overload. Cause that's again, how I experience reality.

Okay. So, so yeah, I mean, the trailer looks really cool and you can see very clearly, you know, in the trailer on your channel, just it's called the guardians of mean, the trailer looks really cool, and you can see very clearly in the trailer on your channel. It's called the Guardians of Justice official trailer, if anyone wants to check it out. Yeah, it looks very neat, very novel.

Some people are getting shot, and they're exploding into coins, like video game style, and then other of the violence is more comic book with a kaboom, and other it's like a real guy stabbing another guy, so a mishmash. So I can see this holding attention very well. Also, there's a language within the mediumships. So there was like a language I was trying to infuse in it.

And then also, Taylor, yes, absolutely. a language I was trying to infuse in it. And then also, Taylor, yes, absolutely. You pointed out the whole thing is layered with video game language. Oh, okay. So I have like, which is why I was asking you guys about video games. It's like at the top of this.

Like there's like a Mortal Kombat announcer guy. Oh, that's fun. Okay. How did you get your job? Like how did you, like producer is not a starting job. how did you get your job like how did you like producer is not a starting job you how did you work your way up in the business well so i'm not really a producer at this point okay that's what's that's the yeah so i'm not really a producer what i um you know what i started doing um i think in 2012 was the first one. Uh, I started working with other artists and then making fan films for, for, for YouTube. So the first one was a,

was a Punisher fan film, uh, uh, called Dirty Laundry. Uh, uh, the second one, and that one was like, kind of like more down the middle played, played very straight. Um, Thomas Jane who played the Punisher in the, in the, the Lionsgate Punisher film, he reprised his role in the short film. Oh, that's cool. Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very cool. Very, uh, you know, fortunate and crazy that this was a thing that i got to do very very lucky the i the follow-up to that was a was a venom short film uh but the idea was not to do it like completely straight so it was done in the style of a black and white mock doc uh it's an homage to a Belgian film called Man Bites Dog. And then there was a Judge Edwan.

I think the most notorious one ended up becoming like a hard-R take on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. A hard-R take on the Power Rangers. I haveangers hard our take on the power rangers that that process that all right okay well the the the logic the logic there the logic that i had going in they're they're well they're child soldiers effectively right if you look at the concept of the power rangers they're a bunch of high school kids and a dude shows up in a tube and says hey there's this a they're these bad aliens that are coming i'm going to give you weapons so you can go fight them that's that's blood diamond it's kind of like you know it's the same the same genesis so

i child soldiers with really cool outfits but that's about it right yeah uh so so it was like, and, and so that was that. And, you know, so I, I, I had the opportunity to work with really, really, really talented people on all these things. Right. So it's not, but it was like, so there's a great filmmaker named Phil Joannou who directed the Punisher one. Joe Lynch did the Venom one. And Joseph Kahn, who did the Power Rangers one. And there were others on top of that. There was a Mr. Rogers one, a James Bond one, a Pokemon one. James Bond one, a Pokemon one. But, you know, I think that ended up becoming this entry point where then companies and brands started coming to me and saying, well, what's your subversive take on this or, you know, that? And that's really like, you know, when we're talking about like my job, that's really that's that's that's really like you know when we're talking about like my job that's really what i do so you're on more on the creative side of it where

you're you know not doing the scheduling like you said some producers might you're more you know coming up with a novel way to to tell these stories in a way that would be interesting for a large audience. Yeah. And to the effect of scheduling, if anyone were to trust me with scheduling on anything, that would be a bad idea. I can't, you know what I mean? Well, of course, you're over there, you're thinking in cartoons. I can't schedule.

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. It doesn't it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't work it doesn't work yeah yeah yeah and like you know like english isn't english isn't even like my first language right so like i'm not from america it's just there's too much i'm like no no although i do a good american accent i like it you're doing it right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to know about some of the, so how much did you have to do with the creation of all the like hero characters in guardians of justice was either like that a team effort,

or did you kind of have all of this kind of set ready to go story when you were approached by, by people at Netflix? So this one was, is my most personal personal personal project right uh what happened was um um i around 2014 i got super depressed like like couldn't get out of bed the world just felt gray i was unhappy all the time uh couldn't couldn't just i i couldn't even see reality i didn't know what reality was right and it kept getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i i just

and i couldn't even put and i i feel like i'm better at communicating today uh because i've worked on it. But back then, I just didn't even know how to communicate. So I was just walking around and felt like everyone hated me. It was just not a good place, right? So eventually, I go to a doctor. And the doctor's like, dude, this is like clinical depression. I need to put you on something called Zoloft like right now and i'm like okay so i take this zoloft and i feel nothing for a few minutes

then about an hour and change later it was this it felt like wizard of oz like all of a sudden like like colors started getting brighter and like the the cartoons started coming back and like you know all of a sudden like it felt like the birds were singing again i'm like oh wow like this is this is interesting has it continued to help you since then like it because i know i actually yeah that's a great question i i knew right away that like i needed to uh use this as a tool but figure out what the root cause was and not just like rely on this as a as a as a as a tool uh and uh um but and i can come back to that if you if that's something you guys are interested in hearing about.

But as the medicines were kicking in, I started my, you know, I'm a nerd, as you can tell. I'm nerdy things everywhere. If I flip the camera, there's more nerdy things. As a nerd, my mind immediately went to, well, you know, what if I was Wolverine? And, you know, Wolverine can't get drunk because Wolverine's healing factor just metabolized the alcohol. So he can't have medicine. And then I went, no, that doesn't make sense. Cause Wolverine's healing factors also psychological. So Wolverine would effectively block out all the things that were bothering him. But then I immediately went

to Superman. I said, well, fuck, what would happen if Superman was depressed? I mean, it's not like there's like an intergalactic pharmacy to help him, right? And I've also since learned one of the things that I've uncovered is I have hypersensitivity. So there's like an element of like agoraphobia going on, like lights feel very bright, like sounds bother, you know, there's like, I'm very, very, very hypersensitive. Right. So I would feel a lot, feel everything. And that was contributing to the, to the, to the panic in the, the, you know, that. Yeah. And so now back to gardens of justice as i was having the superman

thought i went okay well fuck what happens if superman's the one dealing with this and then i went okay well i'm gonna write this so uh you know i'm gonna i'm gonna spoil this for you guys just because why not right and the show's already out. But the show actually opens with Superman, the Marvelous Man. They call him Marvelous Man in the show. It's Superman. Addressing the TV, addressing the world and saying, you know, I'm a prisoner in my own skin, which is exactly how I felt. I felt like a prisoner. I was like, what the fuck?

He's like, I just hear too much. I feel too much. When I sleep and I wake up, people have died. And I'm just, I feel it's my fault. Like, I can't save everybody. And he's like, this is no way to live my life. And he loads a a it's called caltrinite but kryptonite uh a caltrinite bullet into a gun and he shoots himself on live tv

what a way to go out that's great so i've read the good luck everyone when they're seemingly fearless leaders self-destructs a team of troubled superheroes must confront festering evil in the world and in themselves. That must be the troubled leader. Yeah. Yeah. That's very interesting. Pretty fucking dark. I'm down though.

I'm down. Addy, you've really sold me on this. I want to see it now. It's going to be my next show. Yeah. Looks looks very very cool i i've never seen a superhero killed themselves before i don't think right they've i'm sure there's like there's stories of them like i'm gonna die in front of a train to save the the baby carriage or whatever but like not just straight up like green lantern so depressed he like goes into the sun or something i think one of the watchmen shot himself but but other than that i don't i can't think of any no i don't know so yeah this this uh

yeah yeah so this this is a this is again it's a personal it's a very personal story right it's uh i try to dramatize the the feelings and the struggles and that. And then also, you know, put in the cartoon hyper reality that I experienced. And then I like like kind of cool Kung Fu fight scenes. So I did like these, you know, different fight scenes that were all inspired by different motifs and stuff. Yeah, it's really cool. And it's clear you went into this with a vision.

Like you said, it's very personal. Was it easy to get the people at Netflix to kind of agree with all of your vision? Or was that an uphill battle getting them to see it the way you did? It was not an uphill battle. It was shockingly easy um the challenge though was learning how to communicate my what i was trying to do both to myself and other people right because again when

you watch when you watch the show again if you guys do uh you'll see like oh it transitions because it's not like oh one scenes in live live action the other scene's in claymation then the scenes of cartoon it it all kind of happens together and like so um and there was a there's like a logic and a thought process that's coming from me as to why this is happening right but then like you then have to like decode it and then and then translate it and then be like okay this is what we're doing right and um yeah yeah it's really cool i've never seen a show set up like this with with these wildly disparate versions of characters showing up very neat it's like uh Do you guys remember that show Netflix did? It wasn't very good,

but it was like a choose-your-own-adventure movie. Oh, I refused to watch that. Bandersnatch, that's what it was. It was such a cool, novel thing to be like, I'm making decisions, but the movie itself was bad. It didn't hold

my attention at all. Didn't you have those books when you were a kid where it's like, Hey, skip the page 67. If you want Arthur to go into the cave 83, if you want him to climb up the ladder. And I was, I was always cheating.

I would keep one, one finger on the original page just in case I died. I don't know who I thought I was hiding it from. There's no cheating in a book. I'm just saying I was introduced to that novel concept when I was like seven at a Scholastic book fair. But this is a movie. It is different.

I got a thing for Christmas when I was four that was a VHS tape where you could like, fast forward to seven minutes and 38 seconds if you want to go in the cave. Trust me, I've done this shit. They had a whole adventure built around VHS and 38 seconds if you want to go in the cave. Trust me, I've done this shit. They had a whole adventure built around VHS where you had to fast forward to certain parts.

I didn't have that. Alright, you're right. It wasn't cool. It was stupid. The books were better. That would be neat if they could have a choose your own adventure movie. They made a new one with a good plot. And it made you restart

the film if you fuck up there's no going back and it's like it's asking you like serious military questions like storm the bunker or wait for reinforcements i don't know fuck i can't beat this goddamn movie netflix have you guys okay oh sorry sorry go ahead woody i really real quick netflix had to upgrade their technology like they couldn't do a choose your own adventure movie until banner snatch came along so they made a big it investment to create that and now i'm i thought you're gonna do more of it they didn't yeah at least more than one thing he was saying eddie well yeah um did you guys watch the last scream movie scream scream for Yeah, at least more than one thing. You were saying, Eddie? Well, yeah. Did you guys watch the last Scream movie?

Scream 4? No. So the guys who directed it, they started off on YouTube. And they were doing choose-your-own-adventure short films on YouTube. Oh, cool. I had no idea. Because what they would do is, and it was very clever how they did it they would you know they the the video would end and there'd be like kind of like three or four or five options and then when you clicked on it it would activate another video yeah T-Martin used to do that are

you guys familiar with that yeah I remember this was the greatest play ever so here's how it worked at the time we were under a network and that network paid us per view. So if you made a video, and it did well, maybe it gets like 100,000, 200,000 views. Okay. Well, he had like a choose your own adventure series teaching people to play Call of Duty better. So it's like, hey, I just ran into these four guys, which one do you kill first, right? And typically, you want to shoot the one in the back rather than notify everyone else will see it stuff like that. And he'd let you click on the next video and the next video and his video well it was maybe three times as much work collectively would get 20 times as many views because it was a choose your own adventure style it was a great business idea

yeah anything like that anything to like you know make each each view another view or at least point point if you make each few point four views you know across your little network of videos whatever you got to do chain them along and be like hey if you like this you might like that if you can if you can get them in those related video slots yeah i don't even know if that shit works anymore but the choose your own adventure thing is really interesting. I just hate the concept as a viewer. That's your job. I feel like it's like, did I just do your job for you? I'm going to pick the best plot idea.

No, you settle on one, and either it's good or it's bad. I don't want a total overhaul in movies. Just maybe another one or two if if they make three more of these and they're all dog shit just that's enough more yeah give them three more what i what i always like uh you know with the with the advent of the the dvds and everything 20 years ago or so whatever it's been um like the bonus features were excellent i always wanted to see the alternate ending um and sometimes the alternate ending was uh more of a fan pleaser like hey i know you don't like that will smith had to die there at the end how about uh we do

one a little different where he wins yeah do that one you can totally do that like the lord of the ring special features used to be awesome like because everything was live action you could see like when they're filming the the cavalry charges like how real it feels that's a whole nother level of special and bonus features what they did with the the lord of the rings trilogy because i you know we both got those huge box set yeah and it was like five hours per movie of bonus footage i sat there and went through all of them you know oh yeah because i wanted to see andy circus like explaining how he does what he does with all those little dots on his face all right like in some of the clips on there like we're just stuff they don't put on movies anymore it's like the fellowship goes out

to eat and it's like what the the fuck? It's just them at whatever the New Zealand version of TGI Fridays is. They're all hanging out there. And then Viggo Mortensen convinces them all that they should camp so that they feel like they're in the movie. And that's very neat. I like stuff like that. I always like special features.

And whenever there's a documentary about a movie that I like, I always watch it. There's a really good documentary about the Abyss and the making of that film and how extraordinarily difficult it was. Anything like that I enjoy. Yeah. Which one's that? It's a James Cameron movie about, well, I don't want to spoil it, but they're underwater, deep sea underwater in a habitat. And there's sort of a nuclear war

happening potentially above them, like sort of a Cold War scenario. There's also some happenings in the deep. A lot of good actors in that one. I like it a lot. I've never made a movie, but I know one thing. Don't do it in the water. It's very hard. It hardly goes well.

Ed Harris nearly died. Ed Harris nearly died because a couple things went wrong at the same time. Sounds like a lack of commitment to the role. He nearly drowned. It's on camera, too, in the documentary. It's wild. So you're Addy. It took six and a half years to make.

It shocks me that someone had the patience and the funding to keep that afloat for that period of time. Was that hard? Did you have to like every year be like, guys, guys, trust me, it's going to be cool. How did you keep that afloat? That's a great question. It was definitely, it was definitely like, emotionally challenging, right? Because I felt like people just being like, come on, dude, come on, dude, like, really? Really? You know, it was like, it was like that I was getting not not not not haters. It's not like a hater thing. It's more of like, hey, are you out of your? Are you sure you're not out of your mind? And I'm like, well, I'm a little out of my mind, but I can still get this across the finish line. I just don't want to abandon it until I realized the vision.

So it was hard. But you use the word afloat, Woody? Yeah. The word afloat. Because in my head, someone wants to pull the rug out from you along this Yeah. The word of float. Cause in my head, someone wants to pull the rug out from you along this way you have to fight to keep it going. Maybe. So no, that that's, that's, that's true. Um,

and also you're also fighting your own impulse of like wanting to abandon things and be like, Oh fuck. You know, like, cause like at the same time, right. I was coming off of, uh, of uh you know uh some successes in my past so like i had opportunities that i was like turning down or not engaging with or really didn't have the capacity to engage with because i was like hyper focused on like this um and it just felt like this was something i had to do and get out there otherwise uh i you know couldn't move on with my life but then um but the word afloat is interesting because um so uh here's where the expenses of productions go right production is very expensive like the actual physical production is very very expensive because

artists are being employed right yeah yeah because because it it um you know regardless of it being a small indie movie or a ginormous uh blockbuster movie there's a lot of money being spent every second every minute and that's why sets are so big right because if something because you you need like an in case and in case that in case that in, you know, just, just systems in place. Right. And then the, then the, then the, also the other very expensive part of production is, um, the final part of post production. So that's when the visual effects happen, the color correction, all that, that piece, the color correction, all that piece, right?

So expense here, expense here, sorry, I'm trying to like match with the camera, but it's like in reverse. So expense here, expense here. There was like a long in-between period where me and a couple editors would just come in and be like, okay, so now it's cool. We have the raw materials with the live action piece so there's a shot here now here's where it transitions into claymation

here's where it transitions into cartoon and and that so we really constructed the show here show here does that make sense so so here here's the uh mega visual aid so here is uh the production here is like the when you do the visual effects and the color and the animation everything um in between was when it was like me and like a couple editors going in and being like, like, like building the framework of it and using the live action footage along with like, okay, well, so here's where we drop in an animation shot and this is the style of it. And here's when we transitioned into that.

And then, so, so I'm saying that the, it wasn't like a gen, it wasn't like a ginormous cost burn here. Right. But it burn here. Right. But it was long. Right.

It was just long. I'm surprised that so much of the show was decided in the middle. Right. Because I would think if you were to make a show that before the first frame of footage is shot, you guys would know every frame that you need. Okay. So absolutely. You're absolutely correct. It's not that the show was decided in the middle.

I didn't have the full vocabulary over here to explain exactly how this intersects with that, intersects with that, right? And because I didn't have, there wasn't a reference because there isn't a lot of stuff like this that's mixed media. It's more like I had to do it myself because there isn't a lot of stuff like this that's mixed media. It's more like I had to do it myself because I couldn't call someone up and say,

hey, can you do this, this, this, and this, and this? What are you talking about? So you're a pretty young guy. How old are you? I just turned 37. Oh, you look younger than you are. At what age are people best at this job? I'm thinking about it in my head, making an argument, right? You make a guy 68 years old, and perhaps he's a little stuck in his ways, out of date, not in touch with the audience, and not hyper aware of what can be done nowadays.

But you make a guy 22, and he's just not experienced he doesn't foresee the problems you bump into like he's just bad at his job because he's new at it what age are people best at this um i again i think it also depends in terms of genre right so when you look at like comedy that's comedy is like a young, youngish person's game. Right. But then when you look at like sci-fi epics, like, I mean, Ridley Scott,

who's a great filmmaker did, uh, uh, alien gladiator, uh, uh, uh, blade runner house of Gucci was,

was his last film out. Like, you know, he's still doing it. He's still crushing. And, and Ridley Scott's ancient. He's literally, um, probably doesn't like that description um but it's it's like you know i

heard m night shamlon talking about this uh and he so i'm gonna i'm gonna reference what he said because i feel like it's it's it's accurate uh you know Night Shyamalan was super young when he made the six sets. So when you're young and you're a young artist, you are operating primarily based off of impulse. And you don't really know what you're doing, but you're feeling your way through it. And that's when the magic happens. That's really when you get the real breakout, like, whoa, where'd the fucking bat come from? The breakout stuff. Right. And then, and then as artists mature, they start leading more and more into the craft of it.

So it's no longer like impulse. It's now you're leading into the craft. So there's a filmmaker named Wes Anderson, you know, you know, his first movie, I believe was called bottle Bottle Rocket, and then he did Rushmore, Royal Cannon Bombs, and now Grand Budapest Hotel, Moonrise Kingdom. right the color palettes get more honed in like the the the wardrobe and the fashion gets more and more uh wes anderson-y right so i i don't think that there is a strike zone where people are best at the job i think it really matters it really comes down to like what genre are we talking about and what kind of material are we talking about within the genre? I feel like a movie like Saw, within the horror genre, a movie like Saw

or Hostel could have only been made by a young person because you don't get like a 65 year old dude who wants to make saw or you know hostile right but then like um like the shining is another example of a horror film and that was you know kubrick and he was like an older he was an older man at that point uh in in his life so so it just comes down to what the material is and what tools you have available to you to tell that that that that story and i think as long as there's like a passion there um and there's like a like a like a just a straight up like passion to tell a story this story um i don't think age actually matters at all no yeah or maybe instead of saying doesn't matter that different ages bring different strengths yeah exactly exactly. Age is a variable, but it is not like a key defining thing.

Now, I will say, I will make one caveat to that. So on big blockbuster movies, like something like A Fast and Furious, where you're dealing with a lot of special effects a lot of stunts and a lot of like personalities right because those movies are filled with like international household name types it's probably better to get someone who with a lot of experience under their belt because you know because dealing with the stunts and just kind of the special effects and also managing the personalities.

The gravitas helps manage personalities too. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a great question, man. Woody, you lost interest in the Expananse like a couple years ago right i did i don't know maybe it could be rekindled but i did so the expanse is based

on those uh novels i think there's like nine of them and then there's like roughly seven to nine novellas um and uh i i didn't like the season where they went through the ring and stayed on a planet for the entire season because the charm of that show was sort of the rock hopping uh thing across the solar system for me and and uh so i didn't like that i think that's a season that lost you maybe they uh it's kind of sad though that they got canceled again so they did um this sixth season and they only did six episodes so it kind of sucked they wrapped the story up um and there was some because it's only six episodes they're like very action-packed but there's moments that are kind of jarring where you're like wait you didn't show her saying okay i'm gonna go back and meet up with so and so it's just one minute a character is i don't know on the

asteroid belt and then now they're on the moon it's like wait how'd they get there you cut definitely there was like a whole episode that or at least a scene that got cut but you know it kind of sucks um i watched it all last night i was like wait six episodes in one night yeah you know i started yesterday afternoon or something like that i watched it takes a while to watch six episodes roughly six hours give or take it's it's hard to calculate um but yeah i don't know um it's a shame what they did with the show but i i do like all those characters and you could tell the way they ended it they were like someone was like what are we gonna do now and they're like well we could be security for some of these freighters out here running and gunning we could start exploring. And it's clear they're like,

well, I don't know, investors, what show would you like to see with us? They're like a three potential spinoff show ideas at the end of the episode, the season finale. What are we going to do now? They're all hugging.

It's like literally the characters are like, I'm available for filming in January. Who knows? Maybe some sort of little show where I'm a sheriff in in January. Who knows? Maybe some sort of little show where I'm a sheriff in a town. I could do that. What do you mean a show? And that's a wrap. Yeah, the end of it was like them being like, we'd like

to work more. Kind of sucked. I really loved that show for a couple seasons. It was just so, so excellent after it got bought by Amazon out of SyFy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I second that.

I love The Expanse. I think it's fabulous. Yeah, I think I might start reading the books, although one of the things I'm concerned with is I think I read online that if they had continued the show for... What I'm really upset about is them not fleshing out a full season six I didn't want a season seven it seems because if they go to season seven I think there's a 20-year time jump forward uh and I don't I'm not interested in that I kind

of like that our characters are all these like young like newly in love hot shots and like the one guy's like the tough guy and he's he beats people up and shoots people in the face and it's like well don't make him 20 years older like like like he's losing all his fights but he does like a cast of characters with like sex appeal and like they're young spunky characters and you're like next season 20 years older you guys gonna love it like no i would hate that oh no we're going to introduce you to a bunch of new young characters. Don't do that! I don't know. I'm not interested in that.

Boba Fett was awful. I don't know if I've said that on this show or the other show. Oh, no, you didn't. You were looking forward to that. Oh, my fucking God, Boba Fett was bad. It's so bad that I heard somebody say they just hard pivot to a better show about three episodes in, and that's what they do.'re like uh boba fett nah mandalorian they completely

inject the mandalorian into boba fett just to save it because it's three episodes of him like getting beaten up getting pushed around not wanting to kill people for some reason being a pussy that's kind of his bread and butter as a bounty hunter right and always he's not a bounty hunter anymore and he's always in his fucking back to tank which is like this like hot water tub pot he gets in to heal up every time the show shoots him in the back like so every episode they'll beat this old man up again this chubby old man who's five foot seven they'll beat him up again and then they'll throw him in the back to tank and he's got like those green pig-faced men guarding him with actual like scimitar blades like swords.

They don't have fucking guns like me and my cousin could take out Boba Fett. Like that Asian chick. They have like multi tools to protect him. Yeah. If that Asian girl who like is like the coolest assassin and a great character, I'd love to watch her show like just her show. She needs a show. If she's there, she smokes us. But if she's not there, me and my cousin shoot the two pigmen with

crossbows, because why go so OP to use a blaster? Because they got swords. Crossbow the pigmen, and then we just lock Boba Fett's container and drown him or something, I guess. We just turn the oxygen off. Someone comes to assassinate Boba Fett while he's in his bacta tank. He's literally in this pot of water with an o2 mask on and there's this guy's an assassin he's a rookie assassin

and his first move is to open the back to tank and let him out of the water he was in some sort of david copperfield fucking death trap already if you turn the o2 off you could just put a put a rock on top of it or something you could could just turn the oxygen off, because he's just in there. He'd be like, no, please turn it back on. Oh, that's a terrible feature for the Bacta tank, that someone can turn your oxygen off. I wish it had ended with the Wookiee going, no. And then, da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

That fucking Star Wars shit they think so slick. Being a Wookiee, also, not an ideal race for an assassin. Because they're like nine feet tall. They're not sneaky. You hit that guy with a flamethrower, he's having a bad day. You hit anyone with a flamethrower. Everyone has struggles with flamethrowers. Even the Mandalorian.

That's true. Maybe some sort of lizard person might like it briefly. A rock man. A rock man. A rock man, yeah. Some sort of silicon base. If he's a swimmer, he might be okay. What is with the pig-faced people?

The green pig. That's a slave class or something, right? Well, seemingly. He's another one. Because Jabba the H had uh quite a few of them yeah they want to like jerk off the old fans and be like look we got the green pig face guys back but at the same time they're like oh by the way this tatooine place that was supposed to be so boring that luke skywalker would join the empire to leave it it's wild now and it's just

like this hub of excitement and like intergal discourse where people are flying in and there's cool space Vespa cyber gangs. And it's just a real shit show. I can't wait for The Mandalorian to come back. It's actually a well-made show. I don't know who they pawned this off on. They keep saying that Jon Favreau is part of this production, but it doesn't feel like it. Or whoever it is. I don't know.

It's awful. I'm pretty sure Mandalorian is not. Well, like we were talking about earlier. Mandalorian is wildly overrated, but it is still one of the better shows on tv they act like it's it's the second coming of like early days of game of thrones sometimes and and what it really is is like that fucking baby yoda is too goddamn cute not to love i can't help it i love that little fucking muppet guy can't help he's holy shit dude he did he did his little hand thing and stopped a big lizard from killing the mandalorian again because they got they went back to that whale and they caught me it wasn't the right this time oh it was bigger it was uh it was that thing that java kept

underneath the snarlacker not a snarl like that's the big crazy thing i can't think of what it's called it's a big gigantic monster it wasn't the pit the rancor the rancor yeah he fucking was it is it the snarl like a rancor I get the two made up pieces of shit. Yeah, yeah. But he did the little thing where he's like, no, with his little three fingers and the thing stops and fuck, I'm over there tearing up. Yeah, he loves the Mandalorian. A Snarlaks is definitely from Star Wars. That's not what Alpha is.

It's either a Snarlak because I think it's a Snarlak pit that Jabba would throw you down. And Snorlax is a Pokemon. But Snorlax is, but there's something like a Sarlax or a Snorlax. Now you fucked me up. You fixed two made up things and it jumbled in my head. Now I'll need a fucking rewatch.

I remember having like some empathy for the Rancor when I watched that because it was like, you i didn't want the luke to die but it also is like i don't see i don't see like a dish of food and water like this exactly it does it's gonna die if it doesn't eat the people that java tries to feed it it's just the fans felt the same way fans felt the same way really and these guys love to jerk off a fan so they were like how about if we have danny trejo you know Danny Trejo, right? Yeah, I knew him. The scariest Mexican guy. Yeah, Machete.

Machete shows up with a baby Rancor or whatever. He's like, it's just a baby. Meanwhile, it's the size of a school bus. He's like, this is a gift for you. And he gifts him a baby Rancor. And they're just loving up on it. And it's swooning. And Boba Fett is like, I want to ride it. And they're just like loving up on it and it's like swooning and and and uh boba fett is like i want to ride it and they're like what yeah i want to ride it we'll start today and like that's when the show actually gets a little bit cool that's the most like like but even that is like

a throwback to um the the animated shit like he there's like a gigantosaurus thing that he wrote in the canon somehow that they're wanting to like throw back to some super nerds of the of the show which i'm not so knowing that we lose addy in about five minutes has netflix told you how well your thing's doing how well your shows are going do you have any numbers nope nope do you get them ever yeah okay yeah because i don't i don't i don't i don't but i don't really like you know i don't really care so i'm not gonna like really ask or anything because it's like to me that uh the gift was being able to make it yeah um or was it being able to show it to people are

is it important to you go ahead kyle is it more important that it more important that it just is done, that you have completed it, or that people see it? Which do you think is more important? Definitely more important that it got done, because if it didn't get done and people saw it, then it would be like, wow, you suck. I saw that thing you didn't make and I hated it. Is it more important that you think it's good or that other people do? Fair.

So, and again, I'm not trying to be difficult here. And I apologize if this comes across as being difficult. I'm just trying to be authentic. I'm just trying to yeah I don't think that there's something as good and bad uh it's all completely subjective and things that are like considered really bad at one time in history then like years later are like looked at as masterpieces and things that were masterpieces uh uh in their day or look back and people are like what the fuck were they all smoking that's awful um yeah and that's just kind of the nature of of of the beast and i think when people watch things they're bringing their own biases of their own life and their own experience You know, it's like, yeah, it's like, I don't.

So we started as, is it more important that you think it's good or other people? Because that's a question I ask myself a lot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it's not like good or bad. It's more like, is this like an expression of what I was trying to like do and get across? And did I, did I achieve that? And it's a question of like effort, right? Like, like I, I remember in, in, in, uh, in school,

I was really good at some subjects and I wasn't at others. Um, like hyper, hyper, hyper good at certain things. Then like hyper, hyper, hyper bad at others um like hyper hyper hyper good at certain things than like hyper hyper hyper bad at others yeah and i i then it then dawned on me i think when i was like like 14 i was like the end result here doesn't matter it's a question of how much effort i put in because if i just yeah yeah it's an effort thing because I'm like, if I'm not good at this thing and I put effort into it, that's, that's worth more than, than the, than the outcome. Because if it was just completely outcome derived, then,

then I would literally just focus on the, you know, on the things that I'm, that that I'm that I'm good at. I want to like work every day to become a well-rounded like human being, a better artist. Right. So so like even with this show, you know, I spent a lot of time managing the production schedule, for instance. You know, I didn't didn't do it every day day but i spent a lot of time managing the production schedule like thinking through that that stuff which is like stuff that i'm not good at but um but again it was also like i want to develop this because i can't just like lean on the oh i'm not good at that well okay but if you work on it you'll get better and then you may this not make this may not become part of your job but at least with the knowledge of this you get better at your core competency right yeah i i like

where your head is there on the um effort thing like it's never how i've been wired like it i i literally don't care how hard you tried i only care how well you did you know when i measure a project like don't come to me and say with your fucking macaroni drawing and say, I worked on this for seven days. Yes, but it's crap. I know five-year-olds who could do this. It doesn't matter to me that you tried hard at something that turned out terribly. I measure how good the product is. On this show, I'm usually right. usually when the show ends and i think it's

good it turns out to be good but it doesn't matter what i think i just care if the other people liked it sometimes i'm wrong sometimes i'm like oh that was kind of a dud and it gets good reviews and sometimes i'm ready to drop the mic and they're like nobody that actually sucked but usually i line up with with what the the fans think and um i only care what the fans think yeah that makes that makes sense that makes sense it makes sense if we're having a good time it's a good show if i enjoy doing the show then you'll enjoy watching the show is what i found like 100 of the time if i get done with the show and like I'm like almost a little sore from how much I've been laughing. I'm like rubbing my cheeks. Like, I'm like, that was a really good show. That totally makes sense. Woody, I want to just contribute one observation that just came to me in reference to what you said. So because I didn't

grow up in any one country or any one civilization, right? So it's like India, Hong Kong, like Singapore, all these different societies. Um, there never seemed to be like a consensus in any one place or, or sorry, if there was a consensus, it was like isolated to that one society. But when you go to the next, it'd be just like a completely different set of rules and a completely different set of values and a completely different sense of like, oh, this is what we put on a pedestal and this is what we kind of look down at.

And I think that's what ultimately shaped that perspective that I have. Hmm. Okay. That makes sense. Which one of those areas do you think impacted that the most? Singapore or, you know, they must be a lot effort-driven, a combination of all of it. Then packing up, leaving everyone, going to a completely different civilization where everyone looks different. And then all of a sudden, completely different set of rules.

Everyone dresses different. Like what's cool is completely a complete departure to what was cool here. And then doing it again and again and again. And then you realize like, yeah, like there's like a lack of homogen yeah the homogenous thing doesn't exist and like things that are a big deal in one place are just like not even blips in the other right like yeah what what was the reason you were moving around so much? Was it a parent's job that you were constantly bouncing around? Yeah, it was a parent's job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, and it was, it was, it was, no, it was tough. It was tough. Uh, no, I moved to, uh, when I got to go, but I, I, I, uh, you know, I moved to, um,

I moved to America by myself when I was 16, sorry, 15 and I was 15. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And geez, that must be tough.

Yeah. And then, yeah, it was very tough. And then two days later, a nine 11 happened and I was like, that's some terrible timing. Yeah.

Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? And I had nothing to do with the nine. You are a little brown skin. I want to thank you for having me on your show. It was, it was a lot of fun.

Thank you for the great questions. Also. It was also a lot of fun hearing you guys kind of banter back and forth. I can tell you guys are like brothers and I got to be a part of your family for an hour and change and thank you. The new show is Guardians of Justice. It's on Netflix and

I just looked. It's on Trending now, which is pretty cool. Oh, nice. It is? Yes! That's awesome! Everybody go check the show out. Thank you so much for coming on. You're a really cool, genuine guy. I hope you continue to have a lot of success. Thank you. Thank you.

Take care. That was cool. I was about to do ads. We're only an hour and ten minutes in. It just felt like two. Look, I like that guy. That guy seems like a nice fella. I can't imagine working for him

very genuine sincere guy i like him i bet he's not a great communicator though i feel like if he was trying to tell me what my job was today he might tell me for five minutes and i'd be like hey could you run me through that one more time and by the third time i'd be like he's gonna fire me if i ask him one more so i'm just gonna pretend like i know what i'm doing with this clay guy i go both ways on the communication right like there was one question where i asked him what a producer does and i struggled to get details on on like what he does does although eventually i did and then there was another time when he was telling me about the sort of the the thought process on how his show started you know the depression whatever i was riveted and um you know so great communicator some might argue

elon musk is a terrible communicator but he can be riveting too yeah yeah different different styles of doing it you have to like looking at the trailer for his show like it's incredibly novel like it's it's like you know like the disjointed feel of like some late night adult swim stuff yeah like there's some of that in there and that's that's a compliment when i'm saying it because i i love that kind of weird disjointed i hate that i hope it's not quite like i hope it's not gonna be like that i'm gonna watch it superheroish i wish he hadn't spoiled the the thing he was i imagine that happens in the very beginning. Yeah. The Superman part?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's the opening premise of the show. Life without him. No worries then. No worries at all. I was worried that maybe that's how the show ends. It's the very end. No, no, no.

You know what? I'm not going to save you. You're not worth saving. None of us are there's a little blurb where it's like the leader self-destructs and they have to live without him and that's it's a show about that so there's a bit of breaking news i linked you guys i don't know how accurate that is but all the kanye stuff no not the kanye. I know. I know you know. The Russian army is the tweet from CNN, UKR.

They're the ones who let us in on the Bernie Gores incident earlier in the week, and they've got some more breaking news. No, I'm teasing. This is from breaking 911 news outlet. Russian army is firing from all sides upon the largest nuclear power plant in Europe. Fire is already broken out. If it blows up, it'll be 10 times larger than Chernobyl. That's from the Ukrainian foreign minister. That doesn't sound good.

I can't tell what's happening in the video. Is this footage of the nuclear power plant? That was so quick. Can I say it again? It's the largest nuclear power plant in Europe. It's already on fire. And it could be 10 times larger than Chernobyl. And it's happening as

we say this. At 7.49pm. Hopefully that does not happen. That would be horrific. Why would they fire on a nuclear power plant? I mean mean it's so hard to pronounce it's terrible for podcasting Zaporizhza

I was just struggling with nuclear two syllables it's pronounced nuclear I like take a pause. Like, yeah, it's a nuclear power plant. What if it was a calculator powered by nuclear energy?

Owned by the guy from Home Alone. That's a tough one. That's tough for anyone. This is my kryptonite no i i really hope that that's not happening i hope that that is some sort of joke or something or that maybe like they're exaggerating about but what the the the language here is they're firing at it from all sides so is this in is this in i guess it's in zaporizhzhia not in kiev that's they're probably close by to each other i have no fucking idea where that is it doesn't really

matter somewhere in the texas-sized nation of ukraine the russians are shooting at a nuclear power plant which is super duper concerning um i don't oh It's better than it did on my screen. I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, it's not close to Kiev at all. It's on the southern side. Oh, God. They're shooting at it with direct fire.

I thought it would be some sort of indirect fire where they were maybe messing up. They're just shooting it. So is that the building on fire, that bright bit at the end? That's all I know to take from the video. It must be, right? Well, Jesus Christ. zach says missiles too i mean why would you try to take out a nuclear power plant do you that seems bad for everyone words yeah like it yeah if i was like gonna break into your house with the purpose of stealing it i'm not fucking it up i'm not like ah fuck your countertops i'm like no don't those are my countertops now bitch like shine that up now your tv's busted

well darn fuck it seems like there's uh easier ways to turn the power off than blowing up the plant and it seems like you wouldn't want a nuclear disaster to the east of you uh when you're in europe um both those things seem like uh real bad things it seems like i'm hoping it's not true i was looking at the financial sanctions on russia today i wrote some of the stuff i heard down um so i guess that just being cut off from new york alone it is just a crippling thing for Russia. They said that the currency exchange in New York City, they turn over $15 to $17 trillion every day. And JP Morgan alone moves $5 to $7 trillion a day around the world. And they're just cut off from that completely.

I saw that Apple isn't going to sell products there anymore. Nike stores are closed. That sucks. Ikea shut their doors today. There was a mad dash for Ikea. That one's not nearly as big of a deal. You stay at it until you need a cheap desk, goddammit. It's garbage.

It's terrible stuff. Yeah, but if you're scooting on a... Ikea furniture doesn't survive a move. I promise you. Anytime you see a TV show and there's a pratfall onto furniture, it's Ikea. And they put it together.

Is a pratfall a word? That's what it's called when you land on furniture and it breaks? I think that's just the term for a comedic intentional fall. Those old-timey... Yeah. I think that's just the term for like a comedic, like intentional fall. Like those old timey. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Yeah.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Running on a banana. Yeah, exactly. No, the financial sanctions actually seem to be working this time because they've just hit so many sectors. And like so many companies are like, yeah, the cool thing to do is to back ukraine and fuck russia right that's the cool there's gonna be like a nike shirt is not backing russia anymore donald no one is backed off his comments praising putin so donald trump praised putin said he was savvy

and clever and that this who cared about the sanctions they're gonna cost him two dollars he gets a whole country it's a great deal and then they're like dude you can't say that and he doubled down and now he's like he's saying's saying this is basically the Holocaust and that he's not on board with the Ukraine anymore. It was really sad. I saw when Zelensky heard the news that the Russians had blown up the Holocaust Memorial. Yes. He was like, I don't know the name of it, but he said the name of it. He was like, the Holocaust Memorial.

Yeah. The Holocaust Memorial? Yeah. The Holocaust Memorial? Yeah. Well, I guess that's about right. Yeah. He's like, that's Russia, I think. Adds up. Yeah, makes sense.

Okay, fair, fair, fair. He targeted it, or it got blown up? What's the difference? Oh, well, the end result would be the same. I was curious if they're like, Do you measure the effort and the quality of the destruction? Which makes you madder at Russia? That they intentionally shot your Holocaust memorial?

Or that while they were shelling you indiscriminately, they also hit your Holocaust memorial? Taylor, we were trying to kill your civilians. We accidentally got your Holocaust Museum. See, that's so much worse. Can you imagine if Putin said that? He's like, we do want to apologize for bombing that Holocaust Memorial. There was an orphanage right across the street.

We were aimed right at it. We had reason to believe they could grow up and become soldiers one day those companions would have risen against me yeah i it's it's a wild fucking situation and i don't know what you think i keep i keep hearing um not just like pundits or talking heads talk about putin's uh condition or his potential like medical condition but uh the french president you know saw him like a month or two ago. He was across one of those crazy long tables, which is bizarre. It's almost like he

doesn't want you to get too good of a look at him, or maybe he doesn't want you to get too close to him because of some sort of immunodeficiency, maybe? What if I'm just like, I'm making this up as I sit here. He's distancing with a 31-foot table.

What if he's got one of those cancers where they have to nuke your bone marrow or something? He's so immunocompromised that that's why he's at the end of 30-foot long tables because it's not a good look. It's a weird look. Maybe it's bad

to have the leader of your nation about to die. I think that's what I'm suggesting. Maybe this is a guy who's about to die who's trying to have the leader of your nation about to die. I think that's what I'm suggesting. Maybe this is a guy who's about to die, who's trying to put a stamp on his legacy and he's trying to do this. Maybe we're lucky that Biden and Trump didn't take over Mexico. Oh no, that would have been for the better. The Mexicans

would have greeted us with flowers. They would have had sangria. It did seem nice. Yes! Those children children they'd have been you'd have packed your wing for you they'd have packed your fucking two dollars they'd shoot down our jet fighters and then pack their parachute and send them back home yeah good deal 20 dineros would have paid for the wall that's true it seems like ukraine is doing a very good job of defending themselves

based on the news and everything but then like i also are you taylor because i'm seeing that like they just took over a major city that major city is a problem it gives them an in to start taking over other parts of ukraine and that the shelling like they were doing a good job defending themselves before russia started trying now they're trying and it's not going as well. But what do I know? I didn't have this very much perspective on the. All I have is propaganda to go by. I listen to propaganda from the left or the right and try to extract the truth. It is funny doing that where I'm like, maybe if I take the average of the propaganda, I can figure out what's going on.

My take on it is that it's going to last a very long time. It very well could. I think Zelensky is going to inevitably die, which is only going to harden the resistance and the help that's going to come. Putin's going to mess up and make this guy a martyr. That's going to be a big mistake. I think it's going to go on for a very long time,

like months or years. going to be a big mistake i think it's going to go on for a very long time like months or years and um uh i also think that they are going to exact a terrible toll on the russians in manpower and material because we are happy to keep shift uh shipping them a few hundred million worth of javelins um every few months if it means that the russians lose a piece of armor for every one we send. The French just, no, it was the Germans. The Germans were like, we're going to send you some rockets. And they were like, when and how many? Like, we've got to see what we have. The German military is so under-equipped, apparently,

that when they went to look for, it was either the anti-air rockets. I think it's the anti-air rockets. All they could find, they were from when Germany was was in two when there was eastern and western germany and they found western germany rockets they are soviet made like anti-aircraft rockets they had 2700 of them and they sent them all jesus christ that's not a very tight ship they're running with the german military if they were like let me check the warehouse on what we've had oh we've had these for 33 they've backtracked on giving the migs to the ukrainians because like i pointed out on um either the hangout or pkn i was like wait a minute they said the eu was going to get planes the eu is a um a financial thing an

economic block the eu doesn't have planes. NATO has planes. And they were trying to do some shenanigans where like, hey, NATO will give you a few planes, EU. Who knows what you do with them? Well, you're not going to fly them, are you? Of course not. You don't fly planes. Like a loophole. You do money stuff. So maybe for a dollar, Ukraine gets it. And they're like,

we're not doing this weird thing you want us to do where our economic thing gives planes to ukraine give them the planes sell them the planes leave them on the border maybe somebody picks them up but we're not involved and so now the planes are where they started at you know i struggle so much getting accurate and i was watching fox news today apparently swift has stopped working with five of the 36 russian, and it's completely ineffective. On the other hand, the Russian stock market is down like 40%.

The ruble's down 40%. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't know what the stock market's down. I saw some investment. I was on an investment advice subreddit, you know how those guys are, and they were like, hey, guys, do not buy the dip. And these Russian companies, they're sold on the British market. These companies aren't

going to 1%. They're going to zero. They're going to zero. He's like, buy low, sell high. That's what we do here. You're going to buy low and then it's going to go to zero. There is no selling this again because no one can buy it and no one

would buy it um so that you're you're what you're referring to is stock market's not open yet i hear you what i saw was that it was down 40 i don't know how they arrived at that um made it up that right all i do is listen to propaganda what other news is there um here's what i've been doing the ruble itself is down a ton too so it's working right these sanctions are working but they say that they're not and and i i just struggle so hard to understand what's what ukraine the ukrainian soldiers are constantly showing us their captured russians who were like i'm so sorry i thought i was here in a training exercise i

didn't mean to do this i you know i like i regret this look i believe every bit of that because those are twitter videos i'm seeing like i think my handle just fell off my chair sorry uh i'm seeing like uh or something i'm seeing like twitter videos and reddit clips from like ukrainian soldier redditors who are like here's some fucking ruskies i caught let's see what they had to say and it's not like they're at the ministry of propaganda and someone's like now you tell them the story that we told you to tell. We're out in like woods and streets and fields. Sometimes we're in front of brick buildings. They're all saying the same thing.

And like no one – If it was untrue propaganda, it would be in a fancy building. The only person who is saying that – look, I said this the other day to you guys. Not everything is a psyop. And if you start questioning everything, you can't Have you noticed the skies are always gray? I think all this footage came from the same day.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Or maybe Eastern Europe is a shit-tier place to live, and it's always fucking gray, and if they had some sunshine, if those Slavs had some fucking sunshine, they would be blowing each other up left and right maybe although explain

the Middle East they have tons of sunshine so much sunshine their outfits prevent them from getting vitamin D yeah I don't know what the answer is but but no I don't think that that's propaganda in the slightest I think that those Russian troops were sent out there like

that's what Russia's always done. They've sent their conscripts first to do recon, evaluation, and hey, if you make it, we got medals up the wazoo for you, Vasily. I don't think what Woody and I was thinking about it is that those videos are fake or anything. It's just like, how do we know how reminiscent of the situation that video is? You know, like if that video is being promulgated to tens of millions of people and it's one incident, it can very easily make people think, oh, the Ukrainians are kicking ass.

They're dominating. But if that's not the norm and it's like a picked video, you know what I mean? Like, it's hard to know. Let me jump in. That's part of what I was saying, Taylor. The other half of it is these are captured soldiers when if you captured any one of us and had 20 angry people pointing a gun at us blaming us for the death of their little sister and they're like say fuck biden that's what i'm about to say absolutely but that's not all they're

saying look i don't i take that i'm like hey they made him say a funny thing when i see those like no one sees that and thinks that this soldier has changed his mind and now thinks their leader is a shithead that's not the purpose of that video yeah that's about humiliating that russian soldier the best video i've seen these guys are in like a truck with a rear seat and they have picked up a fucking russian and they got him in the back seat center he is surrounded by four ukrainians and they're driving him along and they're like say glory to ukraine and he's like he doesn't want to say it he's like say it you say it or i really will pull over this time that suggests two different things one pulling over and letting this Russian out would be bad for him. He doesn't want them to pull over. Number two, this is not the first time they've threatened to pull over and put him out.

And I love every second of it because it's civilians. It's not like some mean Russian Ukrainian commando Nazis have caught this guy. Some farmers caught this guy. And they're like some they're like some good old boys from around here the ukraine for those who don't know like especially like the the south eastern part that they attack first is like farmland of it's it's the bread basket of europe it's their kansas and uh like like uh whatever else is next to kansas i don't even know and i live here i don't think anyone knows that.

So there's lots of farmers. There's lots of like farmers and, and like good old boy Ukrainians. There are other states to start with. Kay, maybe Kentucky's near it. They, Ukraine,

Ukraine, let every, I had citizens know today that any Russian equipment or material that they capture will, they do not have to declare as personal income. He's like, that's yours. Keep in mind that a T-72 operational tank has to be worth a million dollars. It has to be.

I was going to ask, what are these farmers? I'm on Reddit watching video after video of various tractors stealing heavy machinery that used to be Russian. I guess it's still Russian in origin, but it's Ukrainian now. I don't play any of those tank games. I don't care. I know...

Asking for a friend, where do I resell a tank? I would know. I know people who do that and move them across international lines and stuff like I know those people. It's difficult, but it's it's easier than you think. You've got money and they do. And that's what they do.

Like those guys that collect tanks and stuff out there in Texas. But anyway, they're capturing not just like old shitty tanks and trucks and stuff, because that's what I thought initially. Capturing not just like old shitty tanks and trucks and stuff, because that's what I thought initially. Or maybe some of those like sort of troop carrying APC type vehicles that have tracks. I don't know what they are, BRDMs or something. No, I saw them capture the Russians most advanced anti-aircraft platform. It's like a tank with this huge pod of like rockets on top. And it's not the grad launcher that they used to bombard cities it's this like sophisticated thing that they would use to try to shoot down is that

the picture of like it didn't look that stuck in the mud a lot of it i so again now this is so the things that i take salted are when i hear uh that russians are sabotaging their own equipment so that they can say they broke down and walk back. Like maybe that's not true. Although I, I would, I've heard that Russians are puncturing their own fuel tanks and then like their tank or whatever.

I don't know how you puncture a tank's fuel tank. I just, I'd hope it's armored, but they're puncturing their own fuel tanks. Now their thing is stuck. Now they don't have to go into Kiev and die. They can sort of honorably what walk back to russia or something many are and um i would give that a go and not only does it disable

that piece of equipment but it creates a fuel shortage problem which is a problem already yeah here's what i want to know and i think some if there is a way to do this someone should like let people know or start facilitating it there is a lot of people who would sign up to go over there and fight if there were a way for them to do so legally. I saw some footage from the Polish border and this guy was dressed like a scav from Tarkov

and they're like, where are you going? He said, glory to Ukraine! I will say no more! And he kept heading toward Ukraine. What a lunatic. All he had was one black bag he had one black bag and like wearing all black and then he was like 45 years old glory to ukraine i will say no more did you hear zalinski like inviting people to do that um so i have i heard it from him well okay so it was on the internet i mean we weren't talking or anything but zielinski told me that i could come to ukraine and he don't

even bring a gun he will give me the weapons and the things that i need just give him manpower yeah hard pass on that i'm not gonna go fight in Ukraine. What are you, insane? Like, what the fuck? No. It looks like fun. It does not sound like fun. It's not a video game. It's real. Fun for a little bit, you know, until it hurts. You just, like, I guarantee, like, the three dozen Americans who end up there, like, don't even consider cardio until they are, like,

they're looking at, like, wait, it's miles that way i'm going home it's the united states gravy meal team six who just signs up wants to go fight but what if i record it then well wait is your footage that much more special i mean i know that you're fps pressure but there's a lot of footage coming out. Who would you fight for? I would fight for Ukraine. Are you insane?

That's not really in character. No, I'm not. You are FPS Russia. We would have to fix that. That's an easy fix. We have captured Ukrainian named Kyle Myers. Look how perfect his American accent is. You don't fool us. Take another finger, Ivan.

Take another finger. Send to Putin. That implies two things. One, they're taking a finger. Two, they've taken a finger already. We know that's death for Kyle. I'm from Georgia. Close enough.

We will come for your country soon enough. They are torturing Georgia. No, look at them. They look like fucking scabs. They got their fucking Adidas track suits on. Wait, are those guns made of cardboard? Well, the one on the right has a cardboard gun, but ignore that.

No, the one on the left does too. They both have cardboard guns? Why do they have cardboard guns? I'm concerned that the guns... Fox News is the worst that's gonna that's not gonna help them in fighting at all those guys had cardboard guns that's the that's the absolute worst thing you could take to battle make yourself a target and it's a cardboard although hear me out hear me out if you could

if you could do some sort of like if you could like train if you got caught with your cardboard ak if you like transitioned in some sort of mime work some sort of charlie chaplin type bit where you were like and like like spit like like walking around with the gun like maybe you're gonna mr mcgoo your way out of being a prisoner oh i'm they're taking me prisoner but they'll treat me well because i make them laugh they'll be like do the thing i love that like in in your version of going over there before you even get over there before you get captured you're already prepping yourself with stockholm syndrome for your russian captures but i'll be funny they'll like me i'll be popular with the Russians. As soon as they get me, I've got lies already to tell. I'm an American that plays a Russian that was fighting against Ukrainians.

Okay, it's very simple, sir. I think we're losing a little bit in translation right now. I'm already lost. Does anyone have an iPhone with YouTube? It'll help tremendously. Apple no longer sells here. That was my Russian accent I think if I could show some Russian soldiers

like a couple of videos they'd be pretty chill with me which one would you show them to endear yourself to them AA-12 I think everyone seems to like that but anything with a tank show them the tank stuff what's your most viewed video

is it the AA-12 one there was a COD one that did really well too with the drone maybe Show them the tank stuff. What's your most viewed video? Is it the A12 one? Probably so. There was a COD one that did really well too. With the drone maybe? I don't think it got too many. Maybe 10 or 15 or something like that. To me, a lot is if a video hits 50. I think it's kind of like,

oh, that video is just going to grow forever once it hits 50. As long as it's something that's somewhat pertinent. But I don't know. I don't think – yeah, it should be an A12 video. Get out of a tight spot. Or maybe some highlights. Maybe be dodging the door. I don't know.

Whatever would get me out of that spot. But no, I don't think I want to – I'd definitely show them the dog collar video. Oh. Maybe like do it again. This is the dog collar guy! Wait, no, that's not what I was suggesting at all. Dude, I have had people

bust my chops on that in real life. Dude, you've humiliated yourself. And it's like, well, you have a real job, so fuck you. you did you humiliated yourself and it's like well you have a real job so fuck you what you wouldn't trade yeah i made several thousand dollars goofing around with a dog collar right yeah wage slave just drop that on him a wagey a wagee wagee that's got some crans attached I'm calling it a wagee

drop the hard R and make them wagers what was that awful cringe shit you texted me the other day I don't remember the meme something was goaded oh yeah it was so stupid Zoomer is like I feel like their sense of humor is so disjointed.

The viewers are lost right now. What happened? I cannot remember the joke from the video, but it was a badly edited clip of Tucker talking to a fake version of Trump about a guy, just a stupid joke. Was it goaded with some kind of blood? Goaded with the sauce that's what it was i don't remember any of the other lines but yes that was goaded with the sauce but uh like you see like these like these memes and like almost communities like through that twitter post i like did that

thing where like you find some guy's account and you're like, this is OK. If I go like three layers from this, I'm in like a weird place of users and accounts. And like some of the humor, like there's not even punchlines. It's like almost Sam Hyde-ish or Tim and Eric-y. Well, like except that that Tim and Eric-y like style humor felt like it used to be not as mainstream. And now it seems like maybe that's just because if you go online, you're going to get your confirmations confirmed or your biases confirmed to you of what you think.

If you go to a bunch of weird meme accounts, you're going to see weird memes. I saw this video on the Bye Bye Job subreddit. Very good subreddit. Bye Bye Job? Yeah, it's like, Bye Bye Job. It's people fucking up losing their jobs deservedly saw one where a teacher like chases a kid out in the hallway

because he's uh been acting up kid storms out of class teacher looks like he's like 50 gray-haired guy maybe older uh he slaps the shit out of his kid in the head it's all on camera kid pulls a fuck like he's got a future in the ufc because as soon as he saw a witness bow hit the floor dude slapped him in the head and he was like ow and then a witness appeared and he went oh and he was down and the guy was like wait but no and the kid just the kid never moves the kid's fine don't get me wrong this grown man slapped the shit up kid but that kid knew what to do he fucking took the fall and now there's witnesses now that everybody's gathering around they're pulling that footage and the guy does that thing where he walks away he

doubles he doubles back and goes but and then he just finishes walking away because he knows it's over there's nothing he can do he slapped the kid the kid's down so this sheriff's officer i'm pretty sure it's that's where i was going please oh you do this next one i they don't show it all that but apparently he apprehended a drug dealer who was selling marijuana vape pens and uh he put the vape pen to his lips to like i you know confirm that it was marijuana or he licked it maybe by the way he can't taste the difference yeah okay in any case a few minutes later he flat out took some hits off of it yeah guilty of tampering with evidence but he totally got high on the job i don't know if this is why i don't know if it's weed man here's what he did

like he takes a little hit and his his lie is i wanted to taste it to see if it's weed, man. Here's what he did. He takes a little hit, and his lie is, I wanted to taste it to see if it really was marijuana. You cannot taste the difference between anything and a vape pen. Anything could taste like anything, literally. They could just add flavors, terpenes. They could make something that's like nicotine tastes like weed if they want to. They can do anything they want. It's just like cupcakes.

Get out of here with that shit. He takes a little bitty hit, and you can see he's like fuck that's some good shit and then he like drives off somewhere and pulls over and he's just chiefing it he's hitting it hard he's doubling up on him high on something right now yeah i am yeah yeah this is thco uh this is actually stronger than marijuana i'm like 60 sure on that now i'm gonna keep running my tests i think dude i can tell it's stronger than like delta 8 for sure because there was literally a line where like when you were doing the delta 8 and everything you'd be like still pretty much there and everything you're like oh this isn't strong enough but like you started ripping the thco for the first time like a couple months ago and i swear to god in the middle of an episode you were like and then also what am i what am i talking about what's

happening and it's like you were just like in the middle of a sentence and it's gone it's gone just what is this thing you've discovered? Tell me, tell me about this. So I like a fancy little notebook. Let me cough. So I do like to do the show. Hi,

I think I'm funnier and I have, I have a better time, but it is hard to keep my thoughts straight. So with my notebook here, I can keep my thoughts straight and i can remember my stoned ideas as well so i've been doing that um nice yeah just started though just started yesterday so i'm gonna so you got to build up over time get some good ideas because when you write down i used to keep a notepad in my phone and like if i would be like really

stoned or not not even if i was stoned just like sober walking around if i had a really funny idea or something that made me laugh thinking about i would put it in there but all the like there would be times i've blazed out of my mind and i think i'm like i'm like coming up with gold like i i'm like excited when i wake up the next morning like oh my god those were good bits and then you look at it and it's like like what if dogs had cell phones and it's like well it's like that's not this is terrible there's no there's no end point to talk about this why did i think this was so funny last night i've definitely done that before um i'm not necessarily looking to like keep my stoned ideas as much as i am just keep uh track of little things I think that are good to talk about on here. And once I'm talking about them, I've still got it in front of me.

So even if I lose my train of thought, I'm like, yeah, we're talking about the expanse here. Because it's easy. It can slip away from me. Like, I don't know. It's like hanging on to sand. Should I smoke a little less THCO? No, I should have a thought journal. So I don't forget what I'm thinking about.

I ordered 60 grams of THCO yesterday. It's $3 a gram. This is $24 a gram. One of these lasts me like three days or something mostly because i suppose that two of them are simultaneously so that means one of these last for a day and a half so like a gram every day and a half or something like that but um disposable yeah these are but because i just find that easier because um these uh the little uh the things wear out so fast that but i'm just gonna buy a jar of the shit for three dollars

that when i get a vape that you pour it into yeah i'm gonna get i'm gonna just either refill my own pods or use something that's standalone i haven't decided yet but um it was so goddamn cheap that it was just like and i ordered so much of it that like you can order one gram of it right and they're like yeah we'll give you this little syringe of it but i slid it all the way to 60 grams and they were like this order comes in a jar and i was like fuck yeah give me the jar let's go 60 grams looks like um 60 gram is going to look like uh i don't have any containers around me i I've actually been cleaning her lately. It's not going to be peanut butter or anything like a jar that size. No, no,

it's going to be, um, raspberry. What is the jelly call that comes to smell like jam? Maybe. I don't know. The little bar. I'm not sure.

60 grams, 2.1 ounces. I think that's like a little cosmetic jar, like this big around and like maybe that tall. Like it's, it's a little like medicine bottle. And for a moment, I imagined like a smaller peanut butter jar and I'm like,

there'll be a lot of waste. I'm going to be slicing that thing open, licking the sides, whatever. Yeah. Uh, I don't know. That's going to,

cause I don't know. We'll see how that is. But yeah, I do like smoking this stuff. I'm glad that I found like a legal art alternative to weed. Uh, we'll see how that is. I do like smoking this stuff. I'm glad that I found a legal alternative to weed. We'll see how long it stays legal. It surprised me that all the various

different kinds of hemp have stayed legal. These Delta 8 and there's so many different ones. I went to 3Chi last night. That's where I got that deal if anybody's curious. The number 3 and chi.com. It's a well-known it's one of the more reputable companies i think uh it can be overpriced but they're running a sale

but uh need a journal for this thought god damn taylor pulled me off and made me spell that activates a whole different side of my brain i can't tell a story and spell at the same time no you shouldn't be expected to professional podcast i don't know how long it's gonna stay uh i don't know how uh legal i'm surprised it has for this long i I think there's a lot of... Because there's storefronts everywhere that sell the stuff. I imagine that stuff... All of these places, they sell Kratom too.

I've never tried that, but from what I've found... It's this powdery thing substance that you drink in teas and they come in big bags. You see them behind the counter when you buy the weed vapes and stuff. But apparently, like I was looking online because a lot of people are saying like, oh, it's like just a good little relaxing thing.

I found like a whole community of people one day like like trying to get off this stuff, like addicted as shit to it. And they were like like this is horrible like i i have to dose myself four times a day or i get like like world crashing around me anxiety and fear and like soreness in my body and it's like you tried it yet this sounds great it sounds scary i don't want to it's so cheap yeah it's a green powder is that it that's the one that it's a green dragon green mangda something like that that's that's like there's like three crates of it my gas station is sketchy as fuck like like today i just stood there and tried to take it in everything um i want to ask questions though i want to be like what's that what's that because

there's so many things that i've never seen before. Of course, they've got the weaponry and the bongs and pipes and stuff. They've got fake urine and they've got drinks you drink to get drugs out of your system. They've got marijuana. They got the fake Pepsi bottles and the fake Pringles cans. All the stash cans and bottles that look like real shit, but you're going to hide drugs in or whatever. And then a ton of nicotine vapes. real shit but you're gonna hide drugs in or whatever and then like a ton of nicotine vapes but then like literally touching the nicotine vapes or things like kratom or like maybe salvia or something and like like like like all these weird asian remedy teas that come in funky little

bottles that look like they belong in an old apothecary and um like like just so many delta eight vapes and delta gummies and then then THCO vapes and gummies, and various different kinds. And then just every tobacco product you can imagine, they've got the old bars of tobacco that you have to cut a chunk off with a blade and throw in. That's gross.

It's pretty wild looking. It's like a compressed bar of tobacco. Have you ever tried it? Fuck no. I get dizzy with Copenhenhagen i can't i can't i can't chaw down um and then um i don't even know what some of the stuff is though is my point like there's bags of powders and there's like bags of like herbs and um teas and stuff back there literally it's like and the girls there seem to like me a lot so i need to stick around and ask more questions. You should. Endear yourself. You'll get special deals, maybe. Yeah. I already do.

I literally do get... If I'm buying something, they'll be like, put in this code over here and then that, and you'll get $2 off. Okay, no one's ever told me there was a code over here i could press but all right like they'll give me like discount codes that like i didn't know existed in the in the machine they definitely into me uh are into me because they also um like uh one one morning we've been partying all night and i wanted some more beer and i went in there at like 6 a.m. for more beer. Prime beer hour, yeah. And I was like, they're not going to sell me beer.

They just opened. And she was like, I'm not supposed to sell you beer. Here you go. She said, you're my favorite customer. And I was a little bit out of it when I was leaving, but I was in the car heading back home, and I was like, did she just say I was her favorite customer? What an honor. No, I mean, I should have said something after that.

That was some sort of clear opening because her husband's not around early in the morning. I love Woody's reaction. I'm just teasing. I didn't like that either. You were going to turn your wonderful relationship with the weed store lady into a debaucherous one. Yeah, I built it up into something nice, and then I pulled the rug out.

That was a little bit of a bitchy. No, she's not married. She sounds like she definitely wants some attention from you, which is good. Favorite customer. That means that you're in there. You're spending a good deal of money. You're being polite. You're being quick.

I sincerely doubt you're ever buying seven one dollar scratchers and making everyone wait never make a mess on the counter no i walk in there people should be in jail i go in there on my way uh i go i go in there on the way to the gym sometimes if i need to grab like a gatorade or something so i'm usually in there like a tank top or something and i'll sweaty sweaty just looking my best look at glistening you know you know i do i crank out a few burpees while i'm waiting in line too um just hands covered in dirty gas station kunk at the end oh that's like chalk to me i that's i'm getting ready i'm getting ready for the gym is that a little spilled mountain dew let me tap that as a kid as a kid we would walk around barefoot everywhere me in

particular i was kind of a wild kid like like at three or four or five years old. I refused clothes a lot. And so mom would take us to the grocery store to do the shopping, and I wouldn't wear shoes. And so I'm running around a grocery store barefooted. Have you ever done that before as a child? Probably. Well, I was raised in a first world state. Yeah. The answer is no from both of you because you didn't immediately say, yes, my feet turned black as coal for a week. Because the reality of a grocery store floor is while it looks perfectly clean, those rubber wheels on the carts are circling that place nonstop. And they're leaving this really fine powder that is black hardened rubber and so like

you walk around there for 10 minutes barefoot and your feet turn black as cold i just i can still remember being a kid and like getting home being like that's awesome that's awesome look how dirty my feet are yeah i would literally be like look how dirty my feet are they're like there's something wrong with our body like wash those my feet are awesome. I'd be like, look how dirty my feet are. They're like, there's something wrong with our body. They're like, wash those! No, it's cool.

Nah, I'm gonna kick stuff. I just planted them and pretended to walk up your wall in your bedroom with my dirty ass feet. I would do that. We had a hallway where four-year-old me could span the gap and spider up the wall because at four you're like strength to weight ratio is still about that of a monkey and you can do some wild shit if you're uh if you're brave enough so just monkeying all

the way up the wall so i'm like above my dad when he walks in and he's literally walking under me and i'm like and like drop on him like a spider monkey but he doesn't like that because he's literally walking under me and I'm like haha and like drop on him but he doesn't like that because he's never been dropped on like a spider monkey before like you have something most people don't know everyone has a plan until you're dropped on like messed it up yeah i don't remember i i certainly think i had shoes on every time i went to the grocery store because it is gross it yeah yeah i do know the um like the the phenomenon you're talking about i went shoe listed places i would the deli in ocean city you go without shoes more often than most

like cultures i don't know how to say it it's a beach town yeah it makes sense yeah um i was just running around outside a lot barefoot as a kid it makes your feet really tough like like yeah especially if you did it in the woods because you're sticking on stepping on sticks and rocks oh the whole time um like like as a kid i remember my feet were like i thought my feet were pretty good like i didn't notice when I ran on gravel or something. It just didn't hurt. And then they finally got me to start wearing shoes and

civilized me like Mowgli. I remember thinking my feet were getting so soft. The Jungle Book reference. Dude, I had the same experience. For me, it was urban though. I sometimes think about it. Kyle grew up in the country and I grew up in the city. wasn't a big city but it was definitely a city environment and like how that changed i don't know some of our experiences i rode a bike everywhere everywhere

my bike was like my thing that's how you got anywhere else in the city i rode my bike to school every day i rode my bike home then i'd ride my bike to my friend's house. That was my whole life. There was a period where bikes were uncool, so I had to use a skateboard or walk, but even the bikes were so much more convenient. Nope. There was no way to ride a bicycle. We didn't even have anything hard in our yard until I was seven, I think, is when he put in that asphalt driveway. That's when he built that house, actually. But before then, it had always been dirt everywhere. And no sidewalks near where I live. And no neighbors, really, either,

except for people that you wouldn't want to be around. Farmers, mostly. So you don't ride a bike to them. You don't want to be around farmers You know, farmers mostly. So you don't ride a bike to them. You don't want to be around farmers? No. That came out wrong. It's farmers and white trash. So the farmers own these big parcels of land but at the borders or the intersections

of that, there's a lot of people who have bought up these little cheap pieces of land because they're next to farms and they're extra cheap. And often those are shitty people. I know that one druggy ass bitch with the environmentally retarded children who would call the cops every time i shot my fucking cannon off like like she's got some kind of moral high ground up there um you know she stuff like that yeah um

but i didn't have a bike at all but i always had like atVs or something. I was driving my dad's truck for little drives when I was 13. There's a store less than a mile away. Go out of his driveway and go to half a mile, make a right, go another

mile, and you're at the store. You could just do that back incredibly safe. I could drive anyway at 13. It wouldn i could like it would have been a bad decision to put 13 year old woody in a car dad was sitting me on dad would put me on his lap and let me drive from the time i was like i don't know like really little like whenever i could do this like i was like driving and like don't imagine me hitting turn signals and like checking my mirrors and shit i'm not saying that but like i was comfortable behind the wheel like right away so like when we got to high school we had to take the required driver's ed they get you that discount on insurance

i was shocked that other kids didn't know like how to put a car a car in park and drive and they needed help with like the basics operation of a motor vehicle the one kid had literally never driven a car it's never been behind the wheel of a car and he's 16 and i was just so afraid that he was going to kill us every time we went out like like the the teacher had the brett had an extra brake pedal yeah and he had to slam on that brake one day to keep us from fucking dying because this kid couldn't figure out left or right and was just going to hit the tree in the middle oh my god make a decision we stopped like he had he had there was no more time to do the left or right there was only time to either hit the tree or hit the brakes we were maybe a car link from the tree like don't imagine like it was like some sort of movie type stop but like he slammed the

brakes as hard as he could it threw me from the back seat into the front seat where i because i wasn't wearing a belt because we're fucking p put peter puttering around like the general area around high school we shouldn't be getting in collisions i want a seat belt you guys been driving for 10 minutes we were teaching the kid how to turn left with no seat belt he doesn't know how to drive kyle he still has 200 horsepower what you don't understand woody a very cool 16-year-old. Oh, my bad. I didn't know you were cool. It makes sense.

All the coolest kids like to have safety. Frosted tips? You're looking like Nick from NSYNC. Wait, frosted tips? No, I never did that. Damn it. You would have looked that. Damn it.

You would have looked great. Like 2004. No, that seemed kind of prissy to me. I thought that was kind of lame. And my hair was already brownish blonde anyway, so it wouldn't look right anyway. In the summer, my hair is really blonde if I'm outside, and I usually am.

Even mine was. And even then I was. So your hair is lighter than mine, I think. But the combination of the sun and the saltwater would turn mine. Like it would legit be blondish. Yeah. You wouldn't,

wouldn't think that. Yeah. My mom's blonde and my dad has, um, or had, it was, his hair was like jet black, you know? So it's,

uh, kind of this blondish brownish thing going on. It's real dependent on what time of the year or how much sun it's getting, what color it actually is. I've stayed with sun for a long time. Mine wasn't a good blonde. It was like hay almost, like straw. Crinkly,

bad, ruined hair. I think that's a good blonde because the really blonde blonde, you have to have such thick hair for it not to look thin like yeah that's true the blonde you put that together i felt like blonde people bald more frequently is that true i don't think it is i think it just looks like baldness more apparent and uh on a and a person with lighter hair maybe you notice they're thinning hair faster than like someone with really dark just takes thicker hair to obscure the scalp when it's blonde you think uh i saw a meme on our tinder or some up somewhere it was like um ladies when they find out zolinski's five seven

i didn't even think about it because he's American. You'd assume that he's a little shorter. As a political leader, oftentimes they're tall. Yeah. Eastern Europeans, I thought they were tall, right? Or am I mixing up too much with Norway, Finland, Sweden? I think it runs the gamut.

A lot of those Russians I've seen look like little boys. Oh, yeah. Although they showed a picture of some Russian commander that died look like little boys. Oh, yeah. Although they showed a picture of some Russian commander that died, and I was afraid to look at him. Why? The picture of him is intimidating. Oh, I thought you meant because he'd been beheaded or something.

No, Zach, can you find the picture of that Russian officer with the beard who died in Ukraine? He's so fucking scary. He's like the Russian G.I.e or some shit fucking terrifying dude i just know in one of the videos i saw where they're like russian soldiers turned back they were like you're you know you're badass like lieutenant general or whatever that you were also that you're all jerking off for we killed him and blah blah blah he's dead in the mud. That was one thing.

The language they used is always cool. He was talking to this group of soldiers, and he's like, all right, have you hurt? One guy's like, my hands hurt. You'll be all right. We're going somewhere else. He's like, they hurt real bad.

Be happy you're alive. He's like, all of you get to live. All of you get a meal tonight, and all of you get a warm bed. Your friends friends we're gonna leave in the in the mud for the maggots let's go it was like fuck that's hard it's uh i i i love that we're watching this thing with like not just cell phones because now but but but with like this i don't know the whole internet the apparatus has just made it so that we can see every minute of

this war. Have you seen the clip where the tank shoots right at the cameraman? I have seen that. I'm making it up. He's on the fourth floor of a building and he's filming the tank and the tank hits what I'll call the third floor. Yeah. Look at this cat.

Dude, so one thing I've noticed, Kyle, with the whole world being on Ukraine's side, I am seeing details about Russia's battle plan, Russia's troop movements, Russia's failures. Like all this worthwhile intelligence is making it to my dumb ass on Google News, right? But I'm not seeing the parallel on Ukraine. Of course not right so that to me is a change about the internet age of warfare so did you see so the um the dictator of belarus he refers to himself as europe's last dictator uh by the way um that guy is a legit like that's how he describes himself? Yes.

So Belarus, as probably everybody knows, is kind of a puppet nation under control of Russia. Yes. Fair? Yes. They are hand in hand on this thing. One little thing, and I mentioned it earlier in the week, but this guy did a thing fairly recently, like a couple years ago, that

invited a lot of sanctions to be put upon him where there was a journalist flying over Belarus, not into Belarus, over it, international flight. He sent his Air Force up to stop the plane and ground it, and he arrested the journalist and his girlfriend, and he holds them to this day. In response to that, sanctions were placed upon Belarus. He said, if you place sanctions on me, I will flood your countries with terrorists and drugs. They said, we're placing sanctions on you because that's what we said we're going to do. He said, cool. He advertised across the Middle East and Africa how easy it was to get into Europe through Belarus. Alongside that, he slashed the prices of air travel from the Middle East, Syria, North

African nations, all those places. He slashed those prices, made it incredibly affordable to get into Belarus. Then he gave them all instructions on how to get to the borders of Poland and the other nation that's up there. And in many cases, he bussed them. He trafficked them in buses and placed them at the border, sometimes with bolt cutters and other tools to get through the fencing. He created an incredible humanitarian disaster. This guy, then, this week, I've been looking for the photo of it zach i'm sure you can find it he's doing like a press conference because he's you know he's on the world stage now right he's

involved with this mess uh he's like here's our here's what we're doing here's our progression he shows this big printed out battle plan it was clearly top secret information that not only showed how they were going to split uh ukraine into four different countries eventually but how they would like have the economic regions based and how they would invade a completely different country i think like slovakia or georgia or something like that they're like in there there's like an arrow pointing for an invasion it showed an invasion that hadn't started yet it's incredibly and he's he's in no one's stopping him he went michael scott and he was like i'll make it you know like a like like a poster board they're like 80 he's like what if i make it the whole fucking wall they're like blow the top secret information up to the size of my wall and then turn the cameras on well

to record sir no for the world to see so there's no man you need someone around you to to say no sometimes like he needed one guy to be like please don't kill me but putin's gonna be upset if you show up it's the southern central one i think that was the secret maldova yeah exactly maldova um but but but yeah this is the the genius that's uh tagged along with uh with putin uh for this venture so this guy's probably liking it. I haven't heard boo about Belarus my entire life. Oh, they're really fucking Belarus up with the sanctions and stuff now, so it's interesting to see what's going to happen

there. This whole thing has been fascinating. I think it's the third biggest thing that's happened in my life. I don't know about you, Kyle, but my knowledge of Eastern European geography has tripled. This is how I learned geography, quite frankly. I know most of the countries now.

Yeah, yeah. I could even tell you some that connect. I definitely got a refresher on the USSR and the NATO and the Warsaw Pact Alliance countries and all that nonsense. Nobody knew that before. No one knew. No one knew. It's not that word, retarded Americans. No, no one knew no one knew it's not that word retarded americans no no one knew

until just recently um but i will say it's not fair when people in europe are like oh you stupid americans don't know where latvia is and it's like and it's like point to oregon point point to kentucky which one's that because there's people struggling in the northeast a lot right tell me which one's New Hampshire I don't know that yeah you do because they're the two skinny ones and the Vermont is the v-shaped one I know Vermont always Vermont I remember my teacher telling me that in third grade for like the states quiz and like the thought of like v being Vermont was like my teacher is a genius like that is a good one. I've never heard that. Every teacher should say that. What did you do for the planets? What was the mnemonic device for planets?

Was it like my very excellent mother just sat under new pines? I don't remember what ours was, but it definitely wasn't that. I just remember. I don't remember what ours was, but it definitely wasn't that. I just remember... Actually, I remember having more trouble with that mnemonic device than just memorizing the planets, so I just memorized the planets. Well, I used a mnemonic device.

Do you remember the one for the color spectrum? We never did that. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet? You never learned the... No, no. We never did a mnemonic green blue indigo violet you never learned the no no we never did a mnemonic device for it roy g biv oh i thought you were gonna be like the way i remember it is r is for red i just remember them like this clever trick yeah i i never know which things are like

education standards and like my quirky teacher was like yeah this will work like yeah i i don't know but they taught us a bunch of shit like that i'm trying to think what else um we had to do it for presidents oh i what grade did you learn presidents um we did in uh wait you learned presidents in order yeah i yeah did you retain that yeah we were supposed to do it we didn't do i don't remember doing well on that one i don't remember that result really taylor i would i think uh well i did it before fifth grade because clinton was still in office so i must have been in like fourth grade third grade there's easier back in my day it was there was a time when that was a cinch memorize all the present

Washington taking an American history class in school in 1804 tell us about our glorious history well nine years ago we'll get American history knocked out before lunch. I was always so bored by American history. We only had one class in my high school that was ancient history. And I was so enthralled by that in comparison. It was just cool, learning about Greece and Rome and Persia and and all of that and then it'd be like

america like in my head i was like okay how can something from 250 years ago 200 years ago be as fascinating as something from 2 000 years ago really i always question the numbers it was always like oh this army had 150 000 people up against 250 000 people i'm like really really whether that many people are you full of shit i don't buy it that seems like a lot of people and we're seeing in the modern day real time how war numbers play out and we're gonna trust xerxes from like you know 2200 years ago whatever it is well well deaths deaths they definitely would exaggerate right but maybe not i just don't see a reason to like they were writing it down in that time right

like if we're talking about like herodotus or something like that this doesn't seem like they could get away with saying that there were 10 times as many troops as there were if like tells him to real leaders and which ones are like like yeah yeah why would loki lie about that something like that i just like i i pull like a mac or dennis uh situation or whatever and i'm just like all right well what do the experts agree on are there a bunch of experts like oh no they're all the experts seem to agree there was a quarter million there all right well i'm not gonna like pick at some sort of like imaginary scab because of like i don't know maybe they were maybe they weren't i know in those world war ii battles there's way more people than i can even fucking imagine right the soviets lost 20 million people

in world war ii i think it's just like lost about 70 or 80 million people total that is a gigantic number it's insane it was like five years long so it's like 50 000 people a day well i think our involvement was five years but maybe the war was a bit longer if it began when he invaded Poland. Okay, make it seven then? Does that sound right? Yeah. 70 million people in seven years is still a lot per day. Yeah, we're good at it.

We might be the best at it. It looks like it. I've been watching this YouTuber. Is this John Michael? Yes, we should. Thank you for reminding me. This episode of PKA is brought, uh, John. Oh yes, yes, we should. Thank you for reminding me. Uh, this episode of PKA is brought to you by Lucy. Lucy nicotine is a company founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers

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I've ever had. It tastes so much better. It's got everything I need in it. It's got like nine grams of L-citrulline. It's got all the creatine I need, five grams so I don't actually need to do anything else. I used to make my little shakes like, here's my creatine and here's this powder for flavor for BCAAs or

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The tolerance that you can build up. I try to only use caffeine when i feel like i really need it and especially and that's usually cardio if i'm doing any kind of cardio then i want caffeine in small doses to be really effective at like raising my heart rate that extra little bit i have both sitting next to each other and i'm always like do you want stim or not yep well yeah yes i do and there's been go to the gym but i'm a bit of a lazy fuck i would rather have the stim and uh there's been plenty of times when like the last thing i do of the day is go to the gym and it's like shit i'm i'm i'm going to bed in six hours i'm working out

in two hours i cannot take any stim for this or it's going to ruin the world yeah you know so uh so it's i like that and bombsicle is the flavor that i order whenever i like order stuff or ask them for stuff um i you know they send a good bit and i haven't ran out of bombsicle yet um i really like bombsicle in real life you know like those it's the popsicles that are like red white and blue um rocket pops like like and uh i don't know i like that flavor a lot and it tastes pretty close to that look you would never drink pre-workout on it if you weren't working out it doesn't taste that good but as far as pre-workouts go it's excellent that one in particular yeah yeah i like derrick's stuff like it's a lot of loaded fits the the

mold of the stuff that he sells. Like it's actual effective dose. It's not some one milligram of creatine. So we can pretend that it has it. Like everything he sells on there is, is like the real shit. The effect. It was funny, like ordering other or getting other stuff shipped to me from them.

Like I, this, there's this mushroom supplement he sells as well, like a mix of mushrooms. And I was like, but people are always raving about mushroom supplements. I'm going to try that and see if I can tell any difference. And like, I was taking it like the first day. of mushrooms and i was like that people are always raving about mushroom supplements i'm gonna try that see if i can tell any difference and like i was taking it like the first day and for some reason was like oh i should check and see how much it is and it's

like serving size six pills and it's like all right so this is on brand like three three at night like and his pre-workout like usually you know if you work out and you use pre-workout, teeny tiny little scooper, tiny little scooper. There's nothing in there. This is a sizable, like two big scoops of pre-workout. Like, it's got the shit he's advertising. Do you have the blue stuff? I can't think of it. It's I'm going to grab the shit.

Hang on. The blue stuff. I don't think I do. You need the blue stuff, Taylor. think i do blue stuff you need the blue stuff taylor get back on the order something gorilla mind well i bet i bet he's not gonna have a yeah dude i like i want to talk about the logger though because i'm actually i really like that of course i like that we did it i like that we it. I like what it does to my cum. It's fun. Yeah, it is fun that it does to your cum. I like

the pre-cum. My pre-cum was a drop. Literally a drop. Now it's a squirt. It's better. It's just leaking the whole time. My underwear can look like a woman's at the end of the day. That's what I want. I want my dick to be like a woman's at the end of the day. That's what I want.

I want my dick to be like a runny nose. This is Gorilla Mode. Glycerol, super hydration formula, and mango peach. It's for a better pump. Something about cells filling up with more water or something like that. So two scoops to the pre-workout one. And let me show you this. This is actually a fresh one.

Let me crack this bad boy open. Intramuscular hyperhydration. This packaging is stronger than me. That's the shirtless Kyle. That's some stuff. So it's 10,000 milligrams of glycerol. And you can tell a difference in your pump with this? Yeah.

Interesting. Because his pre-workout is supposed to help with the pump also. Off camera, can you hold it a little higher? I mean, I was really trying to get the scoop. Show off what the scoops are. That's the same size, I think, as the pre-workout scoop. Yeah, it is. And for the full serving of pre-workout, it's two scoops. Oh, my hand's all sticky now.

Lick them. Lick them or no balls. There you go. Glycerin. Interesting. So do you take that in your pre-workout? You just mix it in? Mm-hmm.

No, actually, this is separate because it's a different flavor. I was going to say, that's gross. I did that once and it was awful. No, I did that once and it was awful. I was going to say, that's gross. I did that once and it was awful. I just mixed everything together. I drink so much water the hour or two before.

I'm going to go wash my hands. I've been doing better with water too. I bought a hydro flask, like the metal ones that everybody has. I see why they do. I bought one that was smaller than the one you just held up. And I can't, I don't know, somehow the big ones didn't look the way I wanted them to. And I quickly realized I was draining the small one too fast.

I got a bigger one. Yeah, that's like, for years, I used the regular size blender bottle and was always like, this isn't enough liquid. And it was only like probably a year ago that i was like i bet they make bigger ones and i just bought the 40 ounce ones and it was a game changer for those i don't know how people use those blender bottles that hold like 18 ounces or whatever like they're useless that's for girls with tiny little stomachs maybe i don't know i

want a big fucking bottle though mines are all about like 40 something ounces i feel like i drink like 60 70 ounces of liquid throughout a workout almost every time it might be half a gallon it's a ton uh it's like two i take two of the big gatorades and put in there and it almost takes them both whatever the fuck but uh i like i like those a lot and those help you stay hydrated for sure you sweat less if you turn the air conditioner down to like 59, just saying. I feel like it's good to sweat, though. I'm sure it is. I think it's good for your skin maybe, but it just feels like, I don't know.

Like pimple-wise? Maybe. I don't know, actually. I could probably make an argument on both sides. Yeah, same. I feel like it would be not good for your skin. Maybe keeping those pores exercisedised and clean squirting that flowing right flowing yeah i can also imagine where you know more fluid is more clogged problem

i don't know yeah if you if you don't if you like get sweaty and then like get dirty and don't wash for sure yeah yeah um i saw you i saw a clip of uh an imager link today with like 13 different pictures and they were all captured russians tied to trees in various ways so they were okay i think i saw the same thing you may have sent it to me and they were called marauders yes i don't know what a marauder is so i thought maybe they were ukrainian looters taking advantage of the situation maybe or they could have been captured russians like you saw i just don't know what a marauder means i don't know maybe that's like the name of their unit or something below it said that um that's what they were doing that to russians that they had captured uh

Zach looked up the definition a person who marauds a person who marauds to me a person who raids to me marauder means violent criminal invader yeah okay

I get kind of piratey vibes sometimes I just took it as this doesn't translate precisely but they had them like zip tied and saran wrapped to trees and fence posts and light poles in city squares. And it was very clear that some of the villagers were crueler than others because some of these guys just look sad. And they had been saran wrapped to a pole. It was like, we got him. And then some of them, they had gotten zip ties and acted like they were Spider-Man and made this web of zip ties. He looked like the Predator had shot him with one of those net guns.

And then they've like pulled his pants down. And he can't get them up because he's he's so like subdued and then they've like clearly either spanked his ass or painted it or they wrote something on one of their asses now i don't read russian but i imagine it's related to sex enter here probably it's probably not nice yeah yeah and um they all looked very sad. Yeah, I'd be sad too. I don't want to get duct taped to a post. No, and then I saw two of them that were stripped buck ass naked, and they had a very tiny amount of cloth to cover their dick and balls,

and they were just kind of shuffling through a street of people. And in each case, it was farmers and townsfolk who had captured these poor fellas. If you're Russian, can you just blend in with the crowd in Ukraine and be thought of as Ukrainian? Not at night in Kiev. Like, for example, if I was raiding Canada and I just changed my uniform,

I could say I was Canadian. You're also committing a war crime in that way. Definitely. If you get captured doing that, though, it's death. No, but what he means is if you were to randomly pick a group of 10 russians and 10 ukrainians mix them all up you're not there's not like going to be a big differentiating factor of like oh the ukrainians have dark hair and the russians no i couldn't do that with mexico

right they pretty quickly identify me as the american but i canada ukrainians ukrainians do speak um both russian and ukrainian so so i don't know how many they just swap yeah well i don't know how many russians speak ukrainian that's what i'm yeah so they could say like hey what's up comrade and you might hear like hello blah blah google a friend and you'd be like moscow yeah but we looked we looked at that uh we looked at that map though the other day there are areas of ukraine where like it says like predominantly russian so you could lie and be like oh i'm from that area nobody speaks ukrainian there you think they don't speak ukrainian i think maybe i'm misremembering that map where it said like i was like remember it was like red, less red,

light blue, dark blue and it was like almost all Ukrainian speaking. Mostly Ukrainian speaking, mostly Russian, almost all Russian. I'm not sure. I could be wrong. I thought I remembered that map being like where their loyalties and sympathies lie. That's what I thought as well. We looked at a couple.

I think it's loyalties but it's still the same point probably the language might i think they're checking id in some cases because when they whenever they catch these like guys they're calling spies because i saw them catch a couple guys who were just wearing like bmw gear like a bmw jacket and like some sweatpants or something and the stuff they caught him with was it was spy gear right but it's like not the james bond shit you'd imagine it's actual spy gear so it's like a stun gun a laser pointing device that you could like shine into building me like that one but it's you know ir laser it looks like a little plastic flashlight

but it's a cheap piece of equipment that would allow them to strike anywhere he points it um and um false ids and uh what else did he have Oh, I had a knife and a few other little like pieces of nonsense, but he didn't have a, I don't think he had a gun. Even that's an oversight. That's an oversight. Yeah. But then I saw him catch,

like, I've seen them capture a bunch of stuff, guys that were actually geared. If we're using Tarkov terms, like so far, it's been mostly Timmy's. All right. I've literally seen the peen helmet.

Okay. Timmy. So a Timmy and Tarkov is seen the peen helmet. What's a Timmy? A Timmy in Tarkov is a brand new guy. You can spot them visually because of the amount of gear they have and the clothing they wear. Once you're good at Tarkov, you've got so much money that you start buying custom threads for your character. They don't... We all remember what we used to wear.

He's just wearing a tight t-shirt, basically, and some military pants. You're like, oh, Timmy. Plus, he's got another kind of like a tight t-shirt basically and some military pants you're like oh timmy plus he's got nothing that's a timmy a chad is you know a geared up bad motherfucker right he's got all this shit so like i've seen so many russian timmy's literally there's a helmet that you if you wear it usually consider that guy a timmy because it's the cheapest helmet in tarkov it's from the 1970s it from the 1970s. It's just a metal helmet with some Kevlar reinforcement, I think. It doesn't do shit.

I saw Russians wearing those. I saw them wearing them walking down the streets wearing those things. It was hilarious. But then I've seen some chads too. I saw some bad motherfuckers with like bullpup AKs with suppressors on them. So, I don't know. I think it runs the gamut there definitely

are ukrainian special forces so there's some cool gear on both sides i'm sure i wish i could i wish it was like a game where i could check the score yeah who's winning right now what do you stab in go join the go volunteer for the ukrainian army i seriously want to know more about how to scab in like uh it's a shame that you know the jackass movie already came out i'm steve-o and this is join the ukrainian revolution resistance you walked to poland and got out of there. I thought he was still filming a documentary. I think they just filmed the opening days or something.

I think he found it to be dangerous. He noped out. I wouldn't want to do it either. When I hear someone walk to Poland, it feels like they did a lot of walking. Does he walk 400 miles? No. Where did he start so once you get like 30 or 40 miles from the border it seems like this line of cars begins

and i saw guys i didn't i don't in my head they were smart and they hadn't run out of gas they just knew there was no point in using the car to move anymore because you move a car length every 30 minutes so they were pushed the car forward and then they get back in every 30 minutes and i was like ah those are the smart guys because everybody else is just fucking using their gas putting around but they sit there in their cars for days like 30 to 45 hours to get a car out and then a lot of them are running out of fuel along the way but it's only like 15 20 miles you're moving like a mile every hour and a half to two and a half hours is what it seemed like was happening every so often i hear of a traffic

jam that lasts for days in the world yeah i don't think that ever happens in america and i don't think so that would suck no it's one million people leaving a country in the span of a week you know it's it's unheard of they said this is the largest like uh um refugee like movement ever like one million people in five days that's that's what the number is approaching uh i saw a lot of people um being really well treated when they get into poland uh when i when i think of polish people i think of um um who's who's the the female fighter that i like so much i'm spacing on her name uh the bullet um uh yeah valentina i just i just picture valentina shevchenko's so like like whenever i think of a polish person uh but i would it kind of warmed my heart to see them like greeting these people getting off the train into poland because they're immediately like one person's got like a loaf of bread or

maybe a sandwich or something and then the next person's got like hot tea with like the tea bag hanging out and it's steaming and then these other people have like a bunch of toys like they're just like what do you need take it i wonder how long this enthusiasm lasts right because right now it's pretty high, right? Six months from now, are people still going to be waiting at the border with cookies? I hope so. I hope so if it's needed. I don't think that that's going to be needed six months from now.

I just hope that they keep giving the Ukrainians. I hope that the companies stick with the sanctions. I don't think the government's going to get lax. They're not going to forget. This is more about the way the world works geopolitically than public sentiment anymore. Even if the public weren't down with all of this, they would still be imposing these sanctions because it's borderline.

This is some USSR shit. This is not a good thing that's happening right now. And all of NATO and all... When you see the Germans and the French agreeing with Biden, being like, yeah, actually, let's make it a little worse. And Biden having to play catch-up. Yeah.

You're right, but the one that really caught my attention was Switzerland. These guys, they couldn't figure out who was right and wrong during World War II. And this time around, they're like, fuck, Putin. There's Malenko waiting here. Zach's about to pull it up. This is what Russia's done to Ukraine. Look at this. They don't know this. Is this Kiev? Look at these bodies. I don't know what this is.

I don't know what city it is. I could look at the thread. Wait, bodies where? I don't know what city it is. I could look at the thread. Wait, bodies where? We'd have to rewind. Were those body bags? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. You didn't see that as body bags? Can you play it again, Zach?

They looked like body bags. I was just hoping they weren't. Yeah, I hope not. Surely that's not body bags. Wait wait no that some of those are overlapping on that corner that looks is that a road thing that that might be something else let's let's let's just assume that's not body bags because that would be absurd yeah that would be horrific and they wouldn't put them there yeah that that's that's something else where it's just looking out yeah either way that's something else it's just looking off either way that's totally destroyed that area and it's obviously civilian

that's the part that gets me like there's no military value other than just making people want to quit yep it sucks I feel like America did that in World War II. Like, we set Tokyo on fire.

But was that all obviously military? No. Yeah. But, I mean, we were doing what you just kind of laid out. Like, we wanted to hit the Japanese so hard they were like, fuck, it's not worth it. Like, end it. And so, like, that's definitely happened in, where they target civilian areas to try and just bludgeon them into accepting

what they want. I think it depends on the situation. I just think that it's not often that we have good guys and bad guys anymore. There's always these shades of gray, but the Japanese and the Germans were bad guys. The Nazis and the Japanese were actually villainous. Maybe there was a trade agreement that wasn't fair to them

but nothing justifies the rape of Nanking or the Holocaust those were bad guys and especially with the Japanese they had this fanatical populace so those people that got blown up were combatants,

as far as I'm concerned, when I look back on history. Well, not the innocent people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Every single one of them. They're women and children. Remember Star Wars? When Anakin's like, not just men, women and the children. Yeah. Didn't they make a baby shortly after that yeah they did hate crime to the max and like tells her that and she's like put a couple babies in me

if your loved one comes home and says they just hate crime the whole village of little people with a blade. Then you're dealing with an alpha. Make some babies. That's a fucking Sigma male right there. He fucking... Sigma? Yeah, he's ascended.

Is that the next level? Oh, yeah. You don't even know. We'll talk about this later. You're going to be goaded with sauce. Wow. I'm so excited about this. Dude, I watch Derek's's videos and i'm just like

someone just literally died of cringe the 36 year old boomer said all right derrick like i literally like i he says this shit oh, this guy's diced and sliced and something else, and I don't even know. And I'm like, all right, these are words I need to learn. Oh, yeah. The intros to Derek's videos are underratedly funny, where he'll be like, my favorite one,

I haven't watched nearly as much of his content as you guys, but he was reviewing some pre-workout, or maybe it was like Gamer Juice or whatever. Gamma Lab. Yeah, something like that. And he was like, or maybe it was like gamer juice or whatever. And yeah, it's something like that. And he was like, like the intro, like hook was like,

this is terrible. How about you just take your dick and balls out and drag it directly over my mouth. How about you do that? It's like, do you think that your customers can't fucking read? Right. Meanwhile,

I don't know the affectations dose of these various things of beta alanine. I didn't know. I, I can't know the effectatious dose of these various things of beta alanine. I didn't know. I can read pretty much of it. Have you watched any of his podcasts that he does with those other two guys? Yeah. Oh, dude, I could talk about this. So Derek does a podcast with two other guys. They're not as popular on YouTube as him, but they seem to be as knowledgeable.

They're his peers. Yeah, peers for sure. The one guy, the more Caucasian of the two, they both have accents, but the one guy the the um the more caucasian of the two with the they both have accents but like the bigger guy like i used to watch his like steroid content to learn stuff like like whenever i started watching derrick stuff and started doing trt like like he was one of the youtube channels i looked really into because he has that really crazy knowledge of like all sorts of stuff it's fascinating guys so when I saw him, I don't know if him and Derek had been friends for a long time

or known each other for a long time, but the three of those guys have this really entertaining show where they talk a lot about working out and chemical stuff. There's a lot of chemistry and a lot of biology and really in-depth stuff

that goes over my head, but it's still really fun to watch because I can put things together through context. I'm not a buffoon. And then the other day i caught a clip of them they're talking about how big they wanted a woman's ass and i think one of them was like i want a big ass and derrick's like i want like a tight ass but like if she bends over i should be able to see the asshole yeah yeah i remember it was funny they couldn't get on board

one of them is talking about like the the evolutionary benefits of the giant ass and the what it says about fertility and how he's right in his preference and derrick is somehow has a preference for less fertile like childbearing asses or something. It's pretty funny. Now the two guys on the show aren't normally as big and strong as Eric. I'm sorry, Derek. And, but you know, and you know,

in the fitness world, like your body's your resume, right? That's like a, I'm unescapable truth. Well, one of them did a cycle and got like fit and he just looking like a fitness model now.

And I'm like, Oh, suddenly his opinions are more valid than they were now that he's done a cycle and got on a diet and it's fun to both all three of them have really valid opinions it just took me a while to get on board with that yeah yeah he was doing this this looks really funny like i i i would i don't really care about like you know i want to talk for 40 minutes about you know how creatine monohydrate is superior to micronized creatine but if they're like no dude uh bigger asses means fertility

idiot like if that's if that's the kind of content they're putting out i'm there's a little of it like they talk about their experience with adderall was one that caught my attention and then so i don't i take modifinol probably about twice a month. Like I'm, it's just like, God, today's a day where I was a little under rested and I can't be that today. So I take a, I might be pronouncing it wrong. Modifinol. What is it? Is it like Adderall?

I Adderall light. I've heard it called Adderall light. Yeah. And, um, uh, this guy is like, no Adderall is the bomb. It doesn't just give you energy. It gives you like dopamine and serotonin, and euphoria and how he used it to be more successful. And I think all of them are pretty successful entrepreneurs. And partly through just like giving themselves, like in a way, all of us are just chemical reactions, right?

All of your decisions are driven by chemical reactions. All of your body functions your body if you've ever met a woman you'll understand that chemistry can affect decision making tremendously yes yeah about a week ago you guys know any women you remember i've met i've met women i've talked to women i saw one one time and i noticed that she could change her mind dramatically depending on the flow of the day. Yeah, it seems to involve the moon cycle. But the moon cycle is 27 days if you didn't know that. They did.

Anyway, yeah. So what they did is they kind of just fixed their own chemistry to become people who were motivated by success. own chemistry to become people who were motivated by success and their body composition and their brain wiring now is kind of just to be a successful sigma. Yeah. So they're all into the concept of biohacking, I think. But on an entrepreneurial level, if that makes any sense, what they're not interested in is what a pharmaceutical company or a doctor recommends. They have no interest in that whatsoever. Because pharmaceutical companies are there to make profits and doctors are just there to make people healthy enough that they won't die, right? Today.

but what they're interested in is things like longevity and things like getting every ounce of potential out of your body and your brain as you can with these little add-ons and biohacks while at the same time not like coming back around and taking away that longevity that you were trying to get from the beginning

like what you are there things you can just shoot in your arm that'll make you huge as fuck yeah you don't live as long that you remember that that's our main thing we live long time and good time like like this balloon cannot get much smaller maybe a little smaller like like oh we'll do 78 years instead of 80 but we're jacked and smart okay squeeze that balloon inflate this one but but um it's interesting to see those guys who are into that really get into it to the point

where... And they're smart. They're smart. Yeah. And they really know the science of it. And again, it goes over my head. But I like watching it for the same reason I like watching the space shit. I watched this like James Michael Godier guy.

And he just like talks with like a soothing voice about sci-fi concepts and like the 10 signals we wouldn't want to get from outer space and it's it's uh it's it's really interesting stuff um yeah i like watching it too and you mentioned like a lot of it goes over your head the more you watch as i'm sure you've experienced the better your comprehension gets you know you oh yeah i learned a little bit last time and we're building on it this time. The more I watch, the better I understand. I saw this meme earlier and I just remembered that I wanted to tell you what it said. Did you use your notebook for this?

My notebook? Yeah. It's a picture of some kind of Slav guy lighting a pipe in his army gear. He's in the Ukraine and says, this is Alexei. He's responsible for the destruction of 30 Russian tanks. Alexei is the worst mechanic in the Russian army. Let me fucking roll.

He's destroying 30 tanks. There's a forum called volunteers for Ukraine on reddit and here's a picture it's been since deleted I can't find it anymore but Zach if you could just put the photo

yes pay attention you psychos this is how you have this is how you have fun okay no children just a good time combat vet here i arrived in poland and made my way to ukraine i found the legion they wanted three years of my service that was too much time for me to commit i'm heading back now just letting others on here know what they're asking for real talk know what they are requiring to enlist. And it's a picture of Wings of Redemption holding a gun in a field. And they blurred his face,

which actually adds some credibility to it. They concealed his identity. Oh, man. But the first comments were all like, that's Wings of Redemption. Have you seen how many legitimate journalists and news people who have had to address the Bernie Gore's death in Ukraine? It's so funny. Yeah. I saw them talk about it on like on like the news. I saw the news cover how the news was getting it wrong.

I saw I saw Russian state media people and like some sort of Russian politician being like being like, you see how the West spins their lies. They said that this guy was the first American death in Ukraine. Then they said that he was dead in Syria. And then he was dead in an earthquake and a tsunami. I tried to pass off that he was the ghost of Kiev or whoever that guy was. And apparently he's a pedophile. So I don't know why you're so mad. That's not actually true. None of it's true, Woody.

None of it's true. That's the point. Touche. All right. I don't like clarified. Actually, that's fake. The only accurate thing in that whole statement was that no he it's it's wild i i love seeing those it's fun to wind people up and it is a little i don't see how it's like i don't know

it's it's good old-fashioned fun clean fun as bill murray said and uh groundhog day it's just it's just it's literally just shit posters trying to trick journalists and then go, ha ha ha, dumb ass. We got you. And I love that because make them look, but make them look bad. Cause I don't think they're very good at the jobs.

I think there's like eight journalists in the world. They're reporting that they're not. No, there you go. If you can trick anyone to like report about Bernie Gore's, you just, I, you just identified a bad fake journalist. So, so, so have two independent sources to confirm that that was true. They did not. They didn't even reverse image search it.

It's a Google extension. I can't tell you how small of an amount of time it takes to do. It's click, click, and you'd know that this was oh, okay, that's that Wings Redemption guy. Alright. It's so funny and then someone has to make a big thread breaking it down how it's fake. Someone said he died on bog

at the hands of the UK rebel syndicate pro. Little is known of this young Englishman but some call him the ghost of painkiller already. That's solid. Oh wait go back up make sure you don't throw anything wild no sark said he died on bog in the hands of the uk rebel syndicate pro

oh wait did hutch tweet that yeah oh that's hilarious that's stark i didn't even catch that at first oh that's great yeah yeah oh my god oh i like oh that's that's daniel dale guy is like a big journalist with like over a million followers and he has to address it like that's great yeah it's great so keep that up and um you don't make your photoshop so bad though and like like try to make it look make him kind of bad like the reason the sam hyde one was so good with the ghost of ukraine is because of how badly it was oh and and i i was i forgot to ask for this on pkn but if anybody's in like ukraine and messed up and all this nonsense and you're still taking the time to listen to us like like thank you for

for doing that um and look at and stay safe but if you could like write rsk on a piece of russian like destroyed like uh stuff or something like that'd be that'd be pretty sweet yeah you know they have like v's and z's and stuff i want an rsk on the side of a tank i mean if you could graffiti some like russian equipment that was burnt out you know i mean don't risk your life. Maybe a little, but get the job done, is what I'm saying. And then when you post it on social

media, say that it's the attempt at a viral trend and it stands for Russia, stop killing. Yes! And then try and get the attention of some dumbass journalist. This is going in the idea of a book for Kyle. The group Russia Stop Killing, Taking the Country by Storm. That would be so funny. You guys will be able to get your Russia Stop

Killing shirts next week. All profits will, of course, be going to us. Don't make a excuse. Oh, I'm not sending a dime. I don't want to misconstrue anything. All profits will be going to us. My fridge isn't going to restock Zevia on its own. No, sir.

No, sir. It won't. I just blew $60 on Elden Ring for some reason. I need that t-shirt money. Jizz Biz will only keep you afloat so long. Kyle, how is Elden Ring? So people don't know, Kyle got Elden Ring, felt like it was too difficult, tried to return it, had played it more than two hours, so Steam said no, tried it again.

Where are we? So quickly, for anyone who doesn't know elden ring was just released it's um essentially an open world dark souls game uh if you don't know what that is fucking google it i'm not going to break it down any more than that but it's a really really fucking hard game um and it the the reviews are all. It is one of the best games I've ever seen. I am not good enough to play it. And I think maybe if I'd played previous dark souls titles, like maybe that would have prepared me for this, but I've never played a game that required so much memorization of, uh, enemies and stuff while at the same time, not give me what I actually want in a game. So there's two issues with the game. Not only is

it incredibly difficult, but when I do prevail, I don't feel properly rewarded because it's not a game made for someone like me. I was looking for an RPG and that's not what this is. And I should have known that going in. I should have done my research. It's a Dark Souls game. It's about memorizing those hack and slash things and prevailing through through like that memorization and and being good at the game uh and and that just doesn't appeal to me so that's why i don't like the game and i'm not going to play the game anymore because i'm not good enough to play it uh and if i it when i do sit there for a few hours and like get it because there is no difficulty slider and i don't think there should be probably there probably shouldn't be because

that's not what they're going for. This is the game they wanted. They made the game they wanted to make. It's just not the game that I want to play. So if you like Dark Souls games, if you like that Ninja Gaiden game, maybe it had a similar thing that's incredibly difficult, then you'll love this.

It's a beautiful, amazing game. But it's too hard for me. And I don't feel rewarded when I win. I'm disappointed. Because it looks so so cool but watching even clips online of people who are putting a lot more time into games than i put into games are getting wrecked yes that's the other thing like when we watch like like i don't feel bad about being a shit at the game as i am because when i watch like gamers play it, they're getting fucked up too. They're doing better than me, but they're still getting fucked up.

That's discouraging. In the PKA Hangouts, we do the $50 Hangout with the Patreons every month. The people in there are good gamers. These are like... If they tell you the game is so hard it's difficult to get through that's like i'm lacking words these are people who have invested thousands and tens of thousands of hours into games over their lifetime they're good they're really good and if it's too hard for them it's hard kyle's a

guy who's he's a real gamer if it's too hard for Kyle. It's hard people think Tarkov's hard I think Tarkov's super easy. It's just time-consuming This game is just fucking hard and look I tried it on controller and I tried it on PC and I couldn't find like Anyway to be any better at this game or and I mean I should say keyboard mouse and on the Xbox controller The Xbox controller was better, but not having control of your camera or having to continuously control the camera, to me, is a terrible idea. It felt awful.

If that's what Dark Souls players like, then more power to them, but I fucking hated it. I hate having to adjust my camera in the middle of trying to play a game. On keyboard and mouse, the camera just says, alright, I'll just be right here where you want me. Always. It's just really pleasant to play on keyboard and mouse on keyboard and mouse the camera just says all right i'll just be right here where you want me always and it's it's just really pleasant to play on keyboard and mouse yeah but i

mean i got my foot pedals though so they say that about the controller because like they've never tried it on keyboard and mouse and i get that the proper way to play it is controller probably the best way to play it but not my experience i don't know keyboard and mouse with with my foot pedals to do all the d-pad shit seem to work just fine can you see yourself trying never again maybe i'm hoping dark tide comes out soon they said spring and the new warhammers out yeah that's rts yeah oh i know but you like that too yeah but i'm not in the total war yeah i'm in the mood for something co-op i want to to get the boys together and and like grind something like like Dark Tide where we're just like you be the elf and I'll be the giant and you be the shield maiden. And then we'll we got to get through this swarm of baddies.

Like I want to I want to grind something like that with a few people. Are you are you still going to call dibs on whoever fires guns the fastest now? Arrows? Are you going to try and do the same strategy or maybe do a healer or a tank this time or something? Well, it's going to be a lot of projectile stuff in Darktide for sure, less melee. So I think they're all going to have guns.

I definitely don't want to be the big guy because I don't like the idea of his slow-firing grenade launcher. It's like one big boom and then we're vulnerable for a second and a half i don't like characters like that um so i'll probably probably be someone who's got some longevity but it's still quick and i do like ranged so if there's a character that has some sort of sniper rifle or something i'm down yeah speed kills and you know speed plus range i'll take that over tank typically that's the most fun one i feel like i like playing the tank character it it i feel like it gives me more leeway like those are generally the characters that get like some automatic healing early on like so you can you know take a hey let's take

a sec before we go to the next like big boss area and i'll get back up to full whereas like if i play like a high dps player like what Kyle was doing in the first Vermintide it's like you get hit twice and you're kind of in deep shit like you have to stay far away like by the end your character didn't have to because I had those blades of infinity or whatever the fuck that

like they uh they added DLC and there's an even better elf like how could it be better you didn't have to aim. You just hit the kill button and your person just... But you only get so many of those, right? But with the new thing, I don't remember

all the benefits, but you just have to aim. Don't even have to aim. You don't remember that? Your character's running next to Kyle and you see Kyle's character just shoot an arrow straight and the arrow goes straight back behind him and hits

a rat. It's like my ult. My power move that charges up every so often. With the build I was using, I had cranked everything toward getting that off as often as possible. So every 45 seconds, she would just go, Huzzah!

And she would shoot three magic arrows that found any enemy around and just went into their eyes and instantly killed them. Yeah. One thing that always frustrates me about this kind of game is how people measure the usefulness of a player, right?

If Taylor did nothing but take out all the specials keep everyone alive his character was healing all of us but he got a quarter of the kills that i did people be like what he's slaying what he carried this team no i didn't no i didn't taylor carried the team he got all the specials he uh you know he healed us i would have never made it to the end if it wasn't for the effect he had on my character. Yeah. And Call of Duty was like that, but it was like flag captures, right? This guy's not capturing flags, but he's doing well in kills.

Now he's helping the team. I'm not saying he's not. I'm just saying if you keep yourself out of the vulnerable position in the middle of the goddamn street capturing flags, you get more kill streaks. No, it's for sure a team effort, especially in like Vermintide because of the way they've made those classes. It's for sure a team effort, especially in Vermintide because of the way they've made those classes. You have to be very good to just not need an elf or not need a dwarf. The dwarf maybe isn't all that necessary, but the elf I think is.

I just think you need an elf if you're going to play in the hardest difficulties and not the one that we've been talking about because that's kind of the meme-y one that's just fun to play with, but the new elf that's got the staff and a few other cool things. I can't remember exactly what she does but

she's excellent. It's better. The way they made it was perfect in that like well what are you saying is true but like there were characters like if you're the dwarf or the zealot like you should be finishing the round with more kills than the other people because your job is to to thin out the area so that Kyle's high DPS

character can focus on the heavy hitters. Who was the tank character? The dwarf? He was the main tank and then they made the zealot class almost tanky in a way. I liked that about it where everyone almost had a core competency where it's like oh and then that character yeah their numbers aren't impressive but they're basically covering your ass from behind the whole time and it's a really good game and it's not like the invented class systems but like theirs in particular like mesh really well and you know

there's some like i like the back and forth those characters have while you're playing uh the dlc they added it's really cool um you're able to like go on these like three and four part missions where you do one map and it leads to another and another and if you clear them all without the whole team dying you get access to the good weapons

I've got all reds now, everything's red I haven't played in months and months it's a wonderful game, I really can't wait for Darktide to come out so that we can get back to playing that game again that is the most fun I've had playing a wonderful game. I really can't wait for Darktide to come out so that we can get back to playing that game again. That'll be so fun. That is the most fun I've had playing a multiplayer game with friends in years and years.

It's better than Zombies. Yeah. Zombies, after a while, it's so monotonous. You're just going through the motions. You're going through the Easter egg silently. Everybody knows what everybody else is doing. It's like, all right, I got the notebook. Yep, turn in the switch i got the secret letter open in the safe and it's just like let's go through the motions now it's really just about hanging out getting stoned and chatting

but uh but with vermentide it's like bro if you're gonna be smoking weed you can't play with us i'm gonna go get yourself a cup of coffee or something. Yeah, Kyle's like, only one person on this team can be high out of their mind, and that's Let's Take It. That's right. You can't be the elf, and you can't be stoned. All right? Let's go.

It's like the way Kyle plays that game is like you're going over to his house, but he wasn't one of those, you're the guest, you decide. He was one of those, it's guest you decide he was one of those it's my house i decide kids did you guys encounter those kids when you were little because i was always taught that like when a guest came over like you're the guest like would you rather play mario party or go fuck around in the woods for for a few hours like but then you go to people's houses and be like we're gonna do this it's my house they'd be like, we're going to do this. It's my house. And it's like, I think that was the first instance I can remember as a child of like, oh, that's rude behavior.

Like, I didn't. So I always. I'm the guest. So I kind of like entertaining, I guess. So if somebody was coming over and I think I'm really good at dates and date nights with girls, too, because I like planning like a little event. And people, whenever I do it, people always act like I've gone so above and beyond. And I'm like, what are you talking about? This is fun for me. I wanted a cookie dinner.

I wanted to have a bunch of snacks for you when everybody came over. I like this. I enjoy it. I like providing some entertainment. So if I was having friends over, it was usually like, bring your paintball guns because I've built us a paintball course. My dad's got a CO2 tank he rented and we can play all day. It would be something like that.

Or like, you know, some sort of like movies, pizza kind of thing where you're just hanging out and sleeping over somebody's house. But, you know, I'm still like the purveyor of entertainment. That's that classic story I always tell of me and my buddy Brad watching Hellraiser Bloodline, which is like the third Hellraiser movie. Yeah, it's not good. It's awful. A lot of time travel.

I think Harvey Weinstein's involved with that somehow. And it's just dreadful. It's just so, but it's so gory that it shook me to the core and I couldn't eat my favorite meal in the world. You ever eat those Chef Boyardee pizza kits? It's a little box that you make a pizza out of it's got a can of sauce powdered cheese the dough that you like like powder for the dough you can make your own dough you spread it out yeah yeah as a kid and the sauce has these little tiny pepperonis little baby ones like they're round like like mini pepperonis and as a kid that was like my favorite thing like like something about that sauce it's so sugary yeah

it's like it's just delicious to me i my mouth's watering and i haven't had since i was 13 but um mom had made that and and me and brad came out of my bedroom after watching that movie and we both sat at the table pale as ghosts like not able to eat that stuff because we'd seen people like get like disemboweled and like their torn off. There was one scene, I don't know if it's that or not. The hooks were fucked up. There's one where they take these two guys and twist their flesh together with this complex mechanism

from hell. They're just screaming in pain. I'd never seen anything like that. I had seen action movie violence. Terminator, Predator, people getting blown up maybe, but never gore and guts. So that ruined me. I felt sick.

I couldn't eat dinner that night. Those movies are good for that. The Hellraiser movies are brutal. The first one is actually really good. And I like that. I know you don't watch Star Trek, but like everybody thinks of Garak, or not Garak, but Goldacott in Deep Space Nine as not just a good Star Trek villain, but one of the better fictional villains that's ever been put on screen or whatever. Goldacott's got a lot of fans.

He's an incredible villain in Star Trek that almost transcends the show how good he is as this villain throughout the course of the years. And that actor is the father, the creepy stepfather in Hellraiser, the first one, without all of his ridiculous makeup on. I never noticed that.

Kyle. No, that's fucking Garrick It's Garrick We talk about TV I'm done Thank you The PKA Patreon questions This guy

We have a gentleman here in need of your help Kyle Doubt it This is mostly for Kyle I pulled a Kyle And suggested trying anal with my girl. She said it was gross. And that poo poo came from there. I told her not right now.

It isn't, which I think is my line from a porno. Then I've quoted it for years. Okay. And she just frowned and went back to watching TV. She likes when I play with her asshole, but hesitant about anal. What do I do next next are you stronger than her

well um some people just don't like it and it's just never gonna happen um i'm torn i hear you i agree he says that she already likes some level of butt play. It seems like she's she just needs to be made feel made to feel comfortable with the idea. You're going to have to she's probably afraid she's going to shit on your dick. So maybe explain to her like how to clean out and everything. Maybe get an

enema system over there installed. Just go ahead and install it without telling her and just be like you want to show her a power washer in the bathroom yeah um and um but but if if that's the hurdle then then you can you've got it solved right there but it's probably it might also be that like um i don't know i would think open communication is a good place to start yeah absolutely leave the door open when you shit so that she starts to feel like it's more of a natural part of life

like it's not something to be ashamed of and then over time terrible advice I disagree so you just make there's poop everywhere next time she's going to give you head,

wipe badly. And then when she's down there like gross, you're like, oh, I didn't even realize I had shit all over my ass. I'm not embarrassed though because it's a normal part of the blood. And then she'll be cool then. All right. And maybe

have you eaten her ass? Maybe that would be a good gateway. That's what I assumed was the inner. He said he likes playing with it. I figured it was digital, but Taylor's assumption is not crazy. Yeah, you got to be more specific. I didn't know exactly what you're doing in that butthole. It could be she's good with anything on the outside,

but she's no to any interior involvement. Yeah. I don't know, though, because he didn't tell us. He left us starving for details of what level of ass play his girlfriend is okay with. I feel like we've answered him thoroughly. Good luck with your girlfriend's asshole. I hope she lets you put it in.

Truck. Where was it? It's going in one way or another. Yeah, she better get cool with it. Let her peg you. Begin the conversation with, there's two ways this can go. The easy way or the fun way. That would be a good prompt on Impractical Jokers.

They go up and they have to start a conversation with, there's two ways this can go. And then you feed them what they have to say next. That's such a great prompt. That'd be a great way to get your ass handed to you. Just get beat up. What did he say? He had another one? There's a bunch here. What item would you

like to have but it's too expensive for what it is? Which I like the way he phrased it. Oh, I love it. Like how a quality paper guillotine costs $50. It's not that you don't have $50, but you maybe don't have $50 in the budget. You know what a paper guillotine

the thing that cuts it. Yeah, but I don't know why you'd ever want one. This man does. Oh, that's in the question. I thought you were giving a personal for example. That's the end of the question. Sorry. We actually have a paper guillotine in the house. We homeschooled our our kids and we of course arts and crafts i remember like also and how dangerous the makeshift weapon you unscrew that thing on the end uh our boy mentioned

yeah like in thomas jane's um um punisher that that our guest uh alfie uh mentioned earlier yeah he pulls one of those off i know i'm teasing i don't like to tease our guests ah come on i'm just giving him a hard so what's too expensive you'd like it but it's too expensive for what it is i have been denying myself multi-tools and stuff from usually i just delay them like I just don't buy everything I point at. Those earbuds that Landmark uses. Remember we were talking to Slush Puppy about those as well. Those $1,500 earbuds.

That's way too much money to spend on earbuds. I see why they make sense for Landmark. This is a guy who wears headphones 12 hours a day? 8 hours a day. A lot. Yeah. I think he used to stream 12 hours a day, but I'm not sure about that.

In any case, if you're going to get that much use out of them daily, $1,500. Oh, and by the way, I don't know his revenue, but I imagine it to be quite good. Also, he's sponsored by them. I'm almost positive. So he's probably getting them for free or maybe for a cost. Less than free. Yeah. I bet he gets paid. Yeah. Anyway, I'm paying for them, and so I will not ever pay for those. Would you say how much? They're like $1,500? Does that sound right to you?

$1,500 is like the basic one, but then there's like several levels, I think. And if you want the ones that are like custom fitted, they take the the mold of your ear i think that's an extra expense as well uh i was uh i spoke to a company many years ago who was making active ear pro that was just like that and they were the form fitted and you know active ear pro is the ones that react to you know gunshots and stuff and automatically deafen and adjust. But meanwhile, you can hear your comrades telling you where the Russians are. But I don't think they wanted to pay me. Or maybe they

didn't want to give them to me for free. So I was like, no. I was like, no. I don't want those. And also, it's kind of cool not to wear ear protection. Trust me. Meanwhile, you're like, eee! Tinnitus. No, I can close my ears I'm fine I love that about Kyle

what close your ears don't say my name he genuinely believes that he can do a thing I showed you a link where they show they talked about the muscle group that you flex to do it and it squeezes the ear canal against the against like a muscle group there's you can flex like one muscle in it and it squeezes the ear canal against a muscle group.

You can flex one muscle and it squeezes against the ear canal. That's what I'm doing. I'm flexing a muscle in my fucking head and I don't even like talking about it. Can everybody do it? If you have control of that muscle, but you've got to be a real ripped up guy like me. Just an absolute fucking beast.

You know? I can make my nose drip a little you're halfway there it always starts with the drip start just keep flexing your eyes i've been doing these face exercises for a while make my face more muscular um did you look like your eyes are the thing i used to do what flexing your eyes did you used to flex your eyes uh so i have this really mild version of tourette's right and you guys have probably seen the dancing eyebrows um they don't bother me too much but everyone notices them what bothers me is the like facial grimace i'll do like that sometimes no one had to do the other side or i wasn't even i know i know how that is so uh um

anyway this is a mild version of tourette's this isn't me self-diagnosing this is a neurologist all right i went to the neurologist because i was like i I can't get past these headaches. I am stuck. I'm flexing my eyeballs. And she's like, what? And I'm like, I'll do it right now. You can't see anything. But I'm doing it. I'm like, I don't know, simultaneously looking left and right at the same time. Maybe you'd flex your

arms. And the way that Tourette's kind of works is it's not that you're muted. It's not that you can't. I know I'm flexing my eyeballs. I don't want to be loud. It's not that you can't stop it.

Like there was a guy with Tourette's syndrome, like a more severe version, who was a professional baseball player for the Phillies. And he would just focus and turn it off for Kyle for while he was at bat. But of course he couldn't live his whole life like that. And, uh, I couldn't fucking turn it off and I was giving me headaches. And, and the way that Tourette's ticks works is they sometimes migrate.

And, uh, as you get older, you can almost like choose which ones you can live with. Like I really didn't want anything audible. Uh, I used to do a thing where I squished saliva with my mouth. That sounded like this.

And my parents hated that they, they, it made them, they didn't like it at all. And I, how did you get rid of yours? You remember, don't you?

I used to hit myself when I did it and they were, no, I'm asking because i'm asking because i got rid of all mine without hitting myself jesus oh i would hit myself on top of the head whenever i made that noise and they're like whatever it takes you can't do that and uh yeah so anyway um yeah flexing my eyes is the thing i used to do and i just sort of migrated away from it I don't know I can't even imagine

I bet your eyes are strong as fuck though I don't mean to brag but I'm Wearing glasses Alright guys ready set go This is the content that people want I didn't come up with a A a 50 erps it was a an item that's too expensive for what it is maybe the multi-tool yeah yeah yeah i think kyle did a good job taylor you got anything i'm trying to think like i was gonna say some kind of workout

thing but i was like no i buy all the stupid shit that i want from my gym the one thing i want more like i see your functional trainer and i see cool ones and like i'm like i want one but it adds literally no functionality to what i have existing in my gym you have an array of because i have all the array of stuff but uh i've done it with food before and it'll be stuff like i was at a place probably a couple months ago and they had a burger that looked good but it was like 19 20 dollars for a burger and like that's not like breaking the bank or anything but it's like i'm not spending 20 on a burger like a matter of principle like that's how i ended up it's not worthwhile yeah that's how i ended up cooking so much you know we went to a a few nice restaurants and i was like i think i can do this

like the only thing those nice restaurants have over you is those super high temperature ovens they do the steaks in so that's why i really do like i don't know those chain fancy places like morton's or uh um ruth's chris because they do have that like 800 degree like oven they're running that steak through that that it comes out sizzling kind of hard to achieve that at home but maybe with one of those eggs i don't know but uh that's what really got me into cooking is like those 25 hamburgers and it's like what if i grind my own fucking meat i'll go find fancy cuts of meat and grind them myself yeah there's no way you're doing that like i'll make a better burger than you can they've got i'll bake it for eight dollars yeah they've got stuff on there to try and justify how expensive

it is where it's like oh it's like white truffle oil it's like i would i'd opt not to have that that's not good to be fair though like depending on what kind of burger it is i think they're supposed to charge the idea is that you charge three times what it costs to make a thing so if it's costing them six dollars to make that burger might be about right and and like to do that though they need to be i wouldn't want to raise my cost by a buck based on that theory i mean if you it's if you have the clientele right like if you have the if you raise the price of your tomato yeah i mean if you're there for like a really good burger that's some sort if they're actually grinding like three different kinds of meats to to like make the perfect uh percentage of fat and flavor profile for a burger and then

they're using some fancy technique to cook it like yeah i'll pay 20 bucks like yes but i know that i'm getting ripped off and i'm paying three times for that burger cost but that's kind of the restaurant experience. I guess I'm just like, okay, with an excellent burger being $20 because I know it's about three times what it costs. But I don't want some like trash burger. They had a ballpark when they try to rip me off. I'm like, I'll go hungry. I'll go hungry.

Because like you can see the $8, $9, $10 sometimes hot dogs. And it's just a normal hot dog. You're going 20x. That hot dog costs you 5 cents to fucking make and you're selling to me for $9. Fuck you, I'll go hungry. The little station that's supposed to be

able to turn the crank so it gives you ground up onions, that's empty. The condiment station's gross. Some hungry kid is out there with a whole bowl of it. Because he can't afford a $9 hot dog at the park. That's like the ultimate cheat move, taking your son to a baseball

game, making him think that like, no, just grab the little dish all the onions you want. Just flakes of raw onion. Yeah, flakes of raw onion and ketchup. Sound good just to have a whole old spongebob bread yeah just nothing better than some nice gazpacho on a at the park at the ball gazpacho sucks of course it does it's terrible it's cold soup it's cold soup i don't want cold

soup cold tomato soup and i like tomato soup that. When I became an adult, I started eating vegetables. I'm talking like five years ago, by the way. And tomato soup was one of the things that I was like, wow, this is pretty good. It's good with grilled cheese. But grilled cheese is the mover and shaker in that relationship. I like to dip it. Tomato soup, there's not that much to it. It doesn't taste good.

I don't believe that tomatoes do. Cheese is fats. Bread is carbs. Butter, which is a huge ingredient in grilled cheese, is also fats. I don't know what tomato soup is exactly, but I do. Carbs.

It's fat. It's cream. It's cream that makes the tomato soup good. What you're actually having is tomato-flavored cream. Here's the secret to food tasting good. It's butter and cream. The more cream you add to tomato soup, the better. Keep that under your hat.

We don't want it getting out. I didn't mention protein in any of those macros, by the way. You don't understand. You don't understand. The amounts of butter that are required to make the best mashed potatoes you've ever had, it's almost a one-to-one ratio. I literally have no butter on my potatoes.

Of course you don't because it's awful for you, but if you're going to a nice restaurant and they were selling mashed potatoes for $12 a serving, you're eating so much butter and they're going to be tremendous. They're going to be tremendous. It's butter and butter tastes good.

My daughter was making fun of me. I usually don't talk about her, but she'll get away with this. I was like, I was at all those restaurants all they care about is making the food taste as good as they can and she's like oh the humanity those restaurants trying to make tasty food what will they think of next big restaurant Fast service Yeah It's hard to eat healthy on the road It's like impossible

It's not impossible You're right it's impossible if you have No conviction You can That's true at home You can eat healthier If you treat grocery stores like Restaurants like oftentimes they have Something there that, is ready to eat and not so bad.

I went to a restaurant with some friends recently, and there's all these delicious things on the menu. Pizza, wings. We're, like, at this place to watch a blues game. And I just had, it was like, no, you know what? Getting a grilled chicken sandwich i'm gonna let myself have the the bun but like i'm you know i'm not even gonna put cheese on it like just like tomato and lettuce and pickle or whatever else is on there and that's fucking it and like i was like feeling good on myself until the food arrived and like i got to see my friend's wings and my other

friend's burger and it was like i wish i was home i thought you'd go the other way i thought you were about to say then it arrived and there was mayonnaise on the bun and i was like what what are you guys thinking no i saw it and i was like well and i was glad in a way because i knew that future me wouldn't have the strength to say no to the wings and so i quickly yeah the grilled chicken sandwich don't ask me again that's like uh remember that scene where tony soprano and bobby are at like a diner you know we're sitting at the counter and uh tony orders uh egg whites and tomato slices he's trying to lose some weight and bobby orders

like uh uh like a like a big ass ribeye steak and onion rings or something and it comes and it is just a piled high fried fucking steak and onion rings and he's he's chopping up his eggs and tomato slices and he's like is that good yeah it's all right hon get another one of those over here get out of the way he's gotta have a lot of the floor he can't do it he can't do it i did that the other night i did a tony soprano i got up at like three in the morning feeling peckish and i went and I ate deli meats out of the paper from my fridge. Dude, why don't you get turkey

and then it doesn't matter? I did, but I didn't want that. I grabbed the salami. Get the turkey and chicken breast and get the flavors of it and you can eat fists full of it. Chicken breast is one of my go-to. We call it tropical

fruit, but it's just the cut up zucchini. Kiwi, cantaloupe, melons, strawberries, pineapples in there. Stuff like that. I allow myself to snack on that when I'm hungry. I don't know anyone who got super fat on melons.

Like, I've got a weakness for chicken breast with no salt. You can take egg whites so egg whites make meringue when you whip them so like you can take like um the not the egg beaters i found that that shit doesn't work for this but just uh i think you'd actually need real egg whites but you could whip egg whites and then flavor them with like uh artificial sweetener and like a little bit of vanilla and you could whip egg whites and then flavor them with like artificial sweetener and like a little bit of vanilla and you could have like a fruit salad. Oh, okay.

It would add protein. I've had something very close to that and they call it floof. I don't know if it was a recipe or somebody else. Okay. It looks like it will taste amazing, but it doesn't. If you eat it right away, it's like a three out of 10. And if you eat it right away it's like a 3 out of 10

and if you eat it tomorrow it's a 1 out of 10. Well meringue tastes really good. It's a topping for pies and it's just whipped egg whites and some flavoring. There's sugar but you substitute the sugar out. It must be a little different than I'm having. I'm familiar with the goop

or whatever. I don't remember exactly what's in it. Greg Doucette's got some wild shit going on in those recipes i made those protein bars and they were so fucking good they were so good i've never made them i think we even bought all the score ones yeah i remember you guys like said it looked like turds when i sent you the picture and it did it looks so much like shit it's terrible dude it looks exactly like poop. So you got to get like this. The key ingredient was like this gallon jug of like syrupy

stuff that's like this protein sweetener. And I can't remember exactly what it's called. You can find this recipe anywhere online. It's Greg Doucette's Protein Bars. And he was like he was doing it by hand. He would probably want you to buy his cookbook i'm no expert on no that recipe that recipe he gives out for free and and um yeah um i i have the cookbook

and i paid for it um i paid for it and i i never received it and i never and like when i messaged back they said they'd sent it to me. So PayPal even wouldn't do the dispute. And so I talked to my friend. I was like, hey, you stole Greg Doucette's cookbook, right? And they're like, yeah. I was like, send that on over. I paid for it. I want access.

So that's how we got down. But I remember in the video when he makes them, he does it all by hand. And he's like, yeah, it's a good workout. And I'm like, fuck you, it's a good workout. It's like mixing tar. Put that thing in the KitchenAid mixer like that's its job it does that for a living and you know put that thing on low and just like slowly making those things i uh i like cut them into bars wrapped them in wax paper with a little bit of um i took some kind of oh i spray pam on them so they wouldn't stick and then i i like i'd put them in on a piece of wax paper and then roll it once over and then again and then

just made a strip of them so it was almost like condoms and as you know how condoms are attached one to the other like you know condoms are different it would appear mine are individually wrapped yeah but when you get a box of condoms, each condom is like... Oh, yeah. Another long strip of them. Does he just tear his condoms apart? Does he buy them like... I'm picturing an industrial purchase. Like next to the bed

you pull a strip. Like a box of condoms like a tissue paper. Another one is popped out. No. They're like that. Like toilet paper where there's just a roll of condoms and you pull them apart because they're a little perforated edge

yeah Kyle I've got a question for you another Patreon question I've been dating a girl for 8 months now she's 19 and the fan is 21. She's my dream girl since I was 18, three years, and everything is great in our relationship, except we haven't had sex.

She's a virgin and she's scared. I've been being as supportive as possible, but it's starting to get to me. Eight months relationship, by the way. I don't think an ultimatum is a viable option given the circumstances. I want to be with her. I just don't know what to do. Thanks, boys. She's 19. You should ask her

if she plans on waiting to marriage to have sex. You should ask her that question and see what she says. Then you should have a conversation from there. That's what you should do. Because it seems like you haven't asked her that question, maybe. If the issue is she's just always like, no, I'm afraid. Maybe what the real issue is that she's afraid to have sex before marriage.

I don't know what she's afraid of. So maybe find that out. Because if that's the case, if she literally just doesn't want to then you need to deal with that either marry her or move along I suppose I think you're right I really like the way he did it too like afraid to have sex that might be true but I suspect she's

I mean it kind of vibes like she doesn't want to have sex with him also if she's afraid of like losing her virginity like literally like the hymen thing like it's time to go to horse camp vibes like she doesn't want to have sex with him. Also, if she's afraid of losing her virginity, literally like the Hyman thing, it's time to go to horse camp. That's solved right away. You're just being motocrossed. Or maybe martial arts.

You're 100% right. She doesn't want to have sex with him for some reason. You need to get to the bottom of that. Yeah. Have you seen her vagina? I don't know where your relationship is. Have you ever seen her vagina? Have you done other things? Have you? I bet he's done

everything but. Send Woody a picture of your girlfriend's vagina. Jesus Christ. Send us all a picture of it. Well, Woody gets the Woody's the filter and then I tweet it tweet that at me

and then I don't know my password so Taylor you go to my Twitter and screenshot that and send me a text then I'll print it out and fax it to you oh don't fax it to me you know what I'll do I'll print it out fold it up mail it to

you no i need a telex this is the service i offer he'll send it to me i'll print it out and then describe it to an artist and he'll rent out a vagina that i can then judge for you um like like like maybe she's got an ugly like... I'm saying if you've never seen her vagina, maybe she's got a weird vagina. Maybe she's got a dick. Are you... What if that's the answer? That'd be a real surprise. No.

Womp womp. Where are these questions? I want to think again. Okay, okay. I already got them. That's good advice, Kyle. I bet it's the marriage thing. That makes the makes the most sense yeah it's probably the marriage thing or you've got a big old dong maybe like that for all for all i know dude's like got like a baby arm hanging off

no part of that so um i'm in mexico and i'm flying with a person and that's as far as i'll take it so i don't dox him and uh his son is of an age where you would first start to have sex and dad talks to him and he's like hey you know do you need condoms or something like i'm trying to be responsible about this set you up for success and he's like dad we haven't had sex yet and he's like be honest with me. How can I, you know, trying to be a good guy here and trying to, but don't lie. And he's like, dad, you don't understand. My dick is huge. She can't have said we've tried. I have an enormous dong. And he's like, really, really like, okay.

Anyway, dad's girlfriend gets a glimpse of this thing. Yeah. Like at the house or something. Maybe she said whatever happened. She caught him in a nude moment. And she tells my friend, you have no idea. It's like a baby's arm. It is huge.

He was telling you the truth. I don't know that he'll ever find someone he can have sex with. Apparently his son is hanging such dong that his consenting girlfriend cannot have sex with him, and he's still a virgin. Damn. Just chatting about that on the plane. Yeah, I'll have the peanuts. It over lunch yeah yeah it's funny uh the guy's uh really cool and tells a good story well that's that's like a monkey's paw wish that's so funny i just there's so much ukrainian footage like i need a montage of the shit i just watched two

guys rpg a fucking like truck or something and blow it up and it looked like it was 50 yards away it looked like like i would have gotten closer personally you know so the the thing was in frame but but they did a good job it's tricky to understand how that happened right like if you're a russian tank operator do you just slay everybody outside because if you don't those people might kill you but you can't see everybody like every time i see someone shooting it at them they're not like out in the open first of all they're in a tank it's hard to see out of that fucking thing so so like if somebody's like on your like seven o'clock or whatever like you know behind you into the or left, you have no idea.

They can just shoot at you. You can kind of see. I think they've got, on some of the newer tanks, they've got all sorts of equipment. But it looks like they're in tanks from the 60s and 70s. I don't know the visibility. The tanks I've been in, if someone's not popping out of the top looking around, you have a hell of a time spotting a guy with a rocket before he can hit you and doing anything about it unless that guy is also on a gun.

That explains it more. Because it seems like the people shooting the tanks are really vulnerable. But now that I realize how blind tanks can be. So when they use the shittiest of weapons, they're very close. Like the RPGs. They're like like um like the rpgs like they're like 50 100 meters away it seems like but with the javelins the range on those is like

2500 meters i think uh it's something like really far like it's anywhere from like 50 meters to like 3000 meters or something in that realm like far far and it and that thing like takes off doesn't leave any smoke trail like any evidence of where the shooter was and it's like a 12 second travel time or something to the maximum range and it's coming in like top down so the armor doesn't really matter as much especially on these like the t-72 tanks um right under the turret is where all the ammunition is. So it just blows those the fuck up. That's why you see so many pictures of the turrets sitting on the ground off of, off of the tanks.

Ah, I didn't realize that. So they hit it there and then it explodes and pops the top off. Yeah. Yeah. The whole tank hooks off. That's how, that's how a lot of those tanks, uh,

what happens to a lot of them? Cause a lot of the weapons they use make these small entry holes that then just spray all this spalling shit and like hot metal bouncing around and and uh with some of them just just plasma uh like superheated gas is being injected in there and so it's it's killing the crew and if possible you know igniting the ammunition. Jesus. If it starts a fire, it'll eventually cook it off. I've seen so many from the Syrian conflict. The tank gets hit, and then it burns

for a while, and then finally the ammunition catches, and it's just a bomb. It's such a huge explosion. Have they rolled out any new-looking tanks? Or is it still all the old stuff? From what I understand, the t-72s go back to like probably 1972 or something like i'm guessing on that part but i think it's from that

era at the very least and then um the t-90 or something was a tank from maybe like 20 years ago that they don't have a lot of i saw a few of those destroyed um but i think there's there's a new tank that I was reading about that Russia's been bragging about for the last 15 years. And the specs on it and the description of it would make it the best tank in the world. But every time they've ever wheeled them out, they've always had issues,

and no one believes that Russia can make them in any sort of quantity at all. Maybe they've got a handful like three or four but it's it's an actual like modern main battle tank with an auto loader um which a lot of tanks don't use and a three-man crew they usually use four-man man crews because now you don't have a guy actually loading those 40 50 pound shells into the uh the gun every time and locking the breach and saying, do it, fire. You've got a machine back there doing all that.

They claim it can do, I think, 10 rounds a minute. 10 rounds a minute they claim it can do. Is that a ton for a tank? No, that would be about as good as a person. A little worse than a person, but being a little bit worse than a person and never ever making a mistake might be better than a person, considering that now you don't get tired either.

And your whole crew can sit side by side. We're all in a row, like I'm sitting here, and we've each got our own little TV screens we're doing shit with. But I haven't seen one of those outside of like proving ground footage that they've shown before in the past and stuff like that they drove one

down the street once and the driver put it in park and they couldn't get the part break off and they brought another tank try to pull it and and the tracks were spinning on the asphalt and you got like a general and like all these guys wearing the fancy stuff and they're just like the fuck the boss is waiting and like and you can see like like the part breaks on like nobody told nobody knows how to use this shit so no they don't have um any uh it it looks like it's called the t14 armada yeah and armada they were yeah armada and it looks like they were supposed to have a hundred of them by this year but they do not no. And it looks like they were supposed to have 100 of them by this year. But they do not know that they delayed it. And I mean, 100, a test batch of 100.

So, yeah, it's not like they've got these things rolling around in Ukraine right now. No way. No, absolutely not. It seems like the cool thing about that Armata program is that they were going to do like a um one chassis across many weapons platforms so you would have your rocket truck on the same uh chassis as the main battle tank and that would also be the chassis for like the the ford operating vehicles and and the apcs and so that would mean that suddenly parts across the board fit everything because right now they've got parts for t-72s

and they got parts for t-90s and they got parts for every other little variant but if they could go across the board with the same parts it would be a huge win but they can't do that yeah that takes way too advanced for their economy right now anyway yeah they need to go third world they'll struggle with like getting the materials to make that tank at this point i think i saw venezuela stepped up they were like anything russia needs we'll sell them it's like what do you have oil they have a ton of russia has things russia doesn't need it's like it's like in civ when like someone's declared war on you and you're it's the game has become shitty for you and you're just trying to fix your happiness and you like ask you like hey do you have any could you trade me pineapples and they're like i already have

pineapples you're like fuck yeah no one can dig me out of this so that's what russia's got with its like venezuelan ally i think i saw germany's still buying energy from them so it could be out of date they kind of have to have to. You have to weigh out do we shoot ourselves in the foot to make them stumble a little? We buy from Russia? Yeah, $60 million a day that we send to Russia.

I didn't know that. Yeah, the Republicans, I watched them speak and it was all the main Republicans and it was like all the main Republicans and it was so compelling they were like if you want to crack down on Ukraine how about this we're importing

I think it's 500,000 barrels of Russian we need to crack down on Ukraine well I mean that's what they're saying yeah Russia these fucking Ukrainians defending themselves.

If you want to get the Ukraine. The Republicans are saying, if you actually want to crack down on Russia, we're bringing in 400,000 barrels of oil from them a day. I'm from the great state of Montana. Now, last year, we produced 1.1 million barrels of oil. That's a lot. But two years ago under donald trump we made 1.6 million barrels of oil now that's half a million barrels of oil that we

couldn't produce because of the way joe biden has said we can pump oil that's just for my state that would have cut that would fix this whole thing and then like another guy comes up, he's from Texas. And then Marco, who's the one who's the serial killer? Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz comes up, the one whose daughter doesn't want to kiss him. He comes up and he speaks well, too. And they made a ton of sense about like, look, we're still buying like $60 million worth of oil a day. I think that was the number, actually. And from Russia every day. That's $60 million we give them every single day. And you're talking about cutting off Nike and Apple Pay.

Maybe we could just stop handing them $60 million of money every day. It'd be better long-term to have more resource availability here. And the other thing is, not only you wouldn't want to just make enough oil to fill the Russian need, our Russian need, you'd want pump make enough oil to fill the russian need our russian need you'd

want to pump enough oil to fill the europeans uh needs as well right if you could fulfill germany's oil if you could sell germany all the oil that uh russia was going to sell them for the same price or more like oh it'd have to be more we don't we don't have a pipeline leading to germany yeah we got plenty of boats though we're good. And hey, maybe we do need a pipeline. Really, that'd be a cool pipeline. Yeah, that would be cool. I wonder what the other side of the argument is. If they're like, well, the reason we don't want to... We should have bought Greenland! He was right!

It's because, you know, we're fracking, and it's ruining the communities, and poor people are, like, whatever. Natural gas is coming out of their faucets. Those poor people aren't poor anymore because of their profitable leases on that land. They don't even live there anymore. If natural gas is coming

out of your kitchen sink faucet, you should be making money. These liars. Here's what these white trash liars do. They take the millions of dollars that these oil companies give them. They run off and build mansions. And once they burn through those millions

with irresponsible spending habits, they go back to their trailers they used to live in and they turn the faucet on that hasn't been cracked in eight months. And when a little gas comes out and they can light it, now they sue big oil again for another payday. And I just made up every bit of that. None of that's true.

Fracking absolutely ruined some of those people's lives and i think it killed some babies some babies but look woody how much do you want to pay to to go paramotoring okay how much nothing six dollars tops six dollars tops so i say frack it and frack it deep yeah frack it yeah frack it up like i don't i don't even know what it is. It can't be that bad. It doesn't even understand the process. It's some kind of drilling

where you use water. You've got to inject some high pressure fluids down into that bedrock down below and release that pressure gas. Let it float on up. Yeah. Maybe salt water or something.

It sounds like we have equal understanding of the process. It sounds to me like we both have a firm grasp on the process, and we're borderline oil men. I always thought the amount of oil we produced was in a large part limited by how expensive it is for us to produce it. When oil goes to $100, suddenly every fracking site becomes profitable again and

they'll fire up. I hope so. Oil going to $30 is what shuts us out of business. They're blaming... Political predictions. It's over for the Democrats. It's bad. This is going to go real poorly. The State of the Union was a very well-written speech

that Biden stuttered his way through to the point of embarrassing me. Any one of us, look, you know he practiced. It sounds like you're not on the side of the Uranians. The Uranians, the brave Uranians. He called them Iranians! He did, it was actually Uranians. If you listen.

Did you see Kamala's face when he said it? I went back on YouTube 0.25 speed and she goes and the composer almost instantaneous. There's this great moment where she's like, he just said the Iranians have fucking strong will.

It was a terrible, terrible performance. He's fucking done. They're going to lose the midterms bad. They're going to lose the presidency badly. It's not even going to be close. It's going to be a blowout. Absolutely. No matter what, Biden's going to be a blowout. Absolutely. Biden, no matter what, Biden's going to look weak on this thing because Europe led the way. Maybe what he did is the best

way to achieve where we are now by letting the Europeans come to their own conclusions and not trying to bully them like we have in the past. Maybe that was the right way, but it's the weak looking way. And that might be all that matters in uh in the elections but he's done i don't think he can every time i see him speak he is stuttering over his fucking words i am stoned to shit right now and i could deliver that speech more eloquently and more punctually there were parts where like, no, that's not the part where the emphasis goes. You missed the part. You missed the part where you,

didn't you practice this? Like, why are there no bold underlines under the part where you say, Ukraine can. Like, Ukraine can. Like, you flow through it. Like, if it's freed man, you say freed man, not freed mun.

They're completely different. He's so embarrassing to watch speak it's worse than trump it's worse he's old as the hills trump was trump was achieving what he was going for trump like how do you think that speech went for you trump i think it went tremendously you didn't hear me out there how do you think that went joe god i don't know i just i was trying so hard honey i was trying i know you were baby you know it had to happen afterwards i know you were i know you were but the doctor's gonna come tomorrow he's gonna give you another fucking scan he's gonna give you another sucker if you're good so it's true that he stutters i didn't think it was as bad as you thought it was um and i god i feel like I'm a Democrat shill or something.

And I really don't aspire to be. I've wondered if the Democrats are going to get a little shot in the arm from this Ukraine thing. Like, at least we changed the topic from like COVID failure or culture wars. Everyone's on the same page now. Pro Ukraine, Republicans, Democrats. I'm listening. Not black people. They don't give a fuck. You know why? Because their people are getting shot. That girl who got murdered in her apartment by the police,

they just had a trial to determine whether when the cop was killing her and hit another guy's apartment, whether that was a crime. And it wasn't. And it wasn't. Black people just heard the president say it's time to back the blue and fund the police not defund the police they are not they don't give a fuck about ukraine they're getting killed here okay like that doesn't they're like yeah we feel for those people guess guess what we've been feeling that a long time like here's here's example after example of the of like the injustice being done to us

right here, us being killed. So sorry, Joe. When you say it's time to back the blue and fund the police, we're not hearing it. We're borderline on board with them crazy blonde bitches in the corner yelling at you. Did you hear that? Did you hear the heckling? Do you want to do it, Kyle?

I don't know their names. Lauren Bobbitt or something like that? Is that is one of them uh magic the gathering yeah it's my lady from down here marjorie something something blonde lady with a rifle yeah her and and what he's i didn't know marjorie taylor green said something but i don't say that she didn't i'm not sure i've seen the picture of both going so what happened was all right so joe biden uh lost his son bow to cancer uh bow was a veteran and while he can't prove it he feels like the burn pits that he was in the war caused the cancer so that's that and he was saying that we have veterans dying over there and that we need to look into these burn pits. This is something that's important to me, right? He's president. He wants to make sure this doesn't happen to more people while he is talking about the death of his

son, Lauren Bo, I thought it was Bobbert. I don't know. Bobert. Um, she gets up and shouts, you put them there. Oh, I'm sorry. He mentioned something about flag draped coffins. And she's like, you put them there. 13 of them. 13 of them is referring to a bomb attack in Afghanistan, where I guess as we were pulling out of Afghanistan, we were bombed and 13 American soldiers died. So while he was like, we need to take good care of our vets. We need to look into these burn pits.

We need to make sure these people aren't getting cancer from this. My son died. She was attacking him for the 13 deaths that happened on his watch in Afghanistan. That's the liberal skewed side of this thing. What actually happened was Sleepy Joe was stuttering through his speech, and it was hard to know when to interrupt him. But she interrupted him when he said he had mentioned flag-draped coffins. And the right side of this, I didn't know this was a thing until recently, but a lot of people on the right are upset about the haphazard pullout of Afghanistan

and the 13 Americans who died in that bombing. And they directly blame Joe Biden for it. And so she's she should not be yelling at the State of the Union. Her she does have a point that someone should make somewhere else. She's a cunt. However, she is not the kind of cunt who would have said what she said if she'd known the next three words out of Joe's mouth were going to be my dead son, Bo. I don't believe that even she is that big of a cunt. I really don't.

I think when she processes it, because I've watched it. I promise you. Oh, so he says it right after. She doesn't know he's leading. It's almost simultaneously. But she does not know that we're about to talk about the man's dead son. She thinks we're talking about burn pits or something else. And she's just like, you put them there. She's talking about Afghanistan.

And he's like, my dead son, Bo, who died for this country. And it's just like, fuck. I didn't know what she had said because I couldn't hear couldn't hear it and when i was watching the state of the union i just knew someone had interrupted joe right before he started talking about his dead son and i was like oh but they wish they picked a better time for that the next thing she said after you put them there i think is 13 of them or 13 of them something like that so that's how you know she's referring to the 13 in afghanistan yeah yeah so uh bad timing bad timing and and those those ladies are an embarrassment is the opposite true like because i remember i think his name was joe wilson stood up and screamed liar at obama he did and lauren

bobert bobbert um said you put them there, 13 of them to Joe Biden. Do the Democrats have a thing you can point to where they – I mean they ripped up the paper. Pelosi ripped up Trump's speech. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think anything comes close to what they've done or at least not – they haven't done exactly what they did there. I think it's really inappropriate to interrupt the president of the United States in the state of the fucking union. I don't think that's the place for anything but sitting there

and either clapping or not clapping. Keep your fucking mouth shut. But you couldn't have picked a worse time to stick your fucking mouth out. She comes off, like if there were anyone out there who might have been on her side, then they're just like, God damn damn. He was talking about his kid. You know, like, like simmer.

This is, it was the good one. No, we can't, we talk. We only go out. The good one. Donnie.

Yeah. I thought the state of the union was delivered terribly and written very well. You know, there was that big soup pot of like, everybody gets something toward the end. It's like, how about some AIDS research and some cancer research

for you? How about we build this and that and everybody gets more money and the rich pay more and we pay less and we all do it. Hey, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks. I wonder if it says folks on the teleprompter or if he's just reaching for his words. You're filled with malarkey, I suspect.

It is funny to hear someone who's been a millionaire for 50 years be like, folks! If I say folks a lot, you'll think I'm like you, folks. He's a pony-faced horror soldier. You're a dog-faced pony soldier. Billy with her hot sauce. That's the cringiest one I can ever remember. No, no, the Pokemon. I don't know who made Pokemon go,

but I wish they'd figure out how to make people Pokemon go to the polls. It was so bad. Go back and play that YouTube video and tell me how to nail that. Did you get it right? Pokemon go to the polls. What a joke country. Can I do one more Patreon question?

This one's actually... There's no paragraphs, but it should be four. Here it is. Paraphrased. He and his girlfriend have been dating four and a half years. He just graduated. He's earning 60K. Girlfriend's in law school on a fat scholarship. He's paying the rent, $1,100. She pays utilities and groceries. He doesn't estimate, but let's just say a lot less than $1,100. she doesn't want to get married until they're out of school and in kind of a better financial position.

His family says, don't do this. You shouldn't be paying more than half while she's still in school because there's a real chance you could get robbed in this thing, right? You, you buy her room and board. Well,

I guess just her room and you end up not being married. You've invested in her for nothing. What's your take on this? No, shut. No, no, no. If you can afford that room, you keep paying for that fucking room. Bitch boy. You do not want to live in the world where you don't need to pay for that room.

No one does. Pay for that fucking room. Pay for that fucking room. And pay for that fucking room. What do you mean? Oh, we want to split things right down the middle, honey. Let's do that. She's going to fucking leave you right away.

I'm with you, actually. Dude, you've got a job. She doesn't. She's still in school. This is the situation you're in. You've been dating for four and a half years. She says she wants to get married after school. I actually kind of like that, too. Me too.

I didn't do that until Jackie was out of school I felt like when I started working full time I changed a little bit and I was like I would like to see the non-student version of you before I lock this in and that's what she wants to do I don't think it's dumb also how much more is your rent without her it doesn't go from

$1,100 to $1,500. Are you leaving? No, no, no. Is he going to move out of this fucking apartment when she leaves him and find a cheaper place? And now you've done it. You've saved $400 a month and you're just working off. If rent's $1,100 for the two of them to live there, it's probably $900 for a place that's appropriate for one person. You're not doubling the cost of rent. Dude, definitely.

Let her stay with you. She needs to see how it feels like. Tell her you need to switch places for a few months and see what that feels like. And then after she leaves, you send me her phone number because I'd love to know

this wonderful law student. You're like, you switch places. You're just, you're feeling all of her law courses. What are you doing? She's a law student on a full scholarship. So she's probably pretty smart. Like she's cool in that regard.

Yeah, she has a brilliant future in front of her. Because it doesn't matter what she does. Yeah, she has a brilliant future in front of her. And she just wants to like live with you while she goes to law school. Dude, yes. That's okay. You might want to be there with her um and maybe be there for her now and maybe she'll buy you a porsche when she's a partner at a law

firm or something in 15 years like i can't imagine how this guy's your parents are are leading you astray my friend you should take all their advice with a grain of salt from now on because i i don't i can't imagine someone thinking that you love this girl then what is the fucking thought process process of worrying about 400 a month anywhere yeah yeah i totally agree with you but like and like if it was a one-year relationship that's a very very different story like but four and a half almost half a decade they've been together like they're clearly just pre-married basically like they're already living to get like they're they are all but legally married the fact that

she's not the one the fact that she's the one like being this responsible to and not wanting to like get married right away is such a great sign like like just the the three or four things we know about like girl it's like it's like Right. What's she doing with someone who's dumb enough to ask us this question? Really? She shouldn't be with any PKA viewers. Like, I can't believe that she's with someone who's dumb enough to ask us that question.

When people ask us advice, I'm like, damn, like they, he are are they already asked their mailman we're so low on they opened their contacts up and there was 9-1-1 and mom well the lady at the bank couldn't help so i'm gonna ask those retards on that show i like there was more stuff in here i skipped like um that has some you can place your own value on it but she's he's the only dude she's ever been sexual with uh she did her

glow up when they first started dating so it it seems like he locked in somebody above his station and he's not sure if he should pay rent uh you should yeah you're already pre-married you're planning to get married. Pay a fair share and then send us her phone number when she breaks up with you. Yeah, she sounds great. Don't screw yourself over by turning this non-issue into an issue.

Yeah. Seems like a good gal you got. I'll cover the utilities. Kyle's offering a competitive deal. You can stay at my place and I'll cover the utilities. I will not. Kyle's offering a competitive deal. You can stay at my place and I'll cover the utilities. Kyle's going to try and pretty woman this situation. Where is he living for $1,100 a month

anyway? I didn't gather that from here. I don't think he doxes himself in that regard. Okay, I mean... He did say in the U.S. Yeah. He's not in New York City for $1,100.s yeah yeah yeah i mean he's not in you know new york city for 1100 a month no of course no he's not no he could be in a really awesome place in like omaha he's in some sort of college town or something lately that's so cheap if it's enough room to

i don't know it sounds cheap we're right i don't even know there's a lot of like 450 and 550 a month shitholes i i lived in a for the last three years of college yeah i went from the dorm just directly into my sophomore year i lived in the shittiest shithole i wish i could find a picture of it but they literally condemned it like shortly after i moved out because like like you could drop a marble in one corner of that apartment and it would roll all the way to the other because it was it was on such a slant like literally like i'm sitting on my couch i could see into the kitchen and he had carpets and it's four inches lower over there like you walk and i'm

like like people would come over and like i remember like they would be like and i'm only at this time like what like 1920 it's my my first like apartment i was at a dorm the previous year and so i don't have high expectations but like my like a family would come in town like my dad my grandparents be like oh this taylor this is terrible and i'm like it's not that bad and they're like it's the floor's collapsing over here like the the water was a little iffy. The floors were collapsing. The stairs felt like they were going to fall apart. It was terrible. It was a horrible, horrible place. I had a girlfriend that lived in a

house where what they'd done is they'd split one house in two and they just made the mirror images of one another. And we were on the right side. But when you walked down the hallway, the hardwood was so wavy that it felt like you were drunk when you walked down the hallway. It wasn't long ways either. It was like the waves were

perpendicular to your direction. The wood was cupped, right? Am I hearing it right? It was doing waves. Was it across several boards or was every board a little cupped? Every board, the whole hallway. Yeah, so that means that they didn't acclimatize the wood before they installed it. They just sanded it flat and then it acclimatized to a cup.

It was awesome. I added so much character to the place. It was awesome. I loved it. I remember her rant was like, because I covered her rant for a time. She was like all teary eyed and she's like, I don't know what I'm going'm gonna do this new job doesn't pay as much as they said they lied to me and now i'm here and i was mean when i left the last job because they were they were not going back i'm not and i was like what's your rent pay me four hundred sixty five dollars a month and i'm

like i got you you cannot have a meltdown over $400. Can I do one more question? I know we're almost out of time. Go for it. All right. So in case this helps you guys, I'm an 18-year-old male virgin, of course. I actually struggled with this question myself.

First backstory. So she started working at my current work eight months ago. We became friends. We talked. We texted every day. She's funny, intelligent. We have similar interests interests i'm paraphrasing it's obvious we like each other based on talking so much getting food etc the other day after work we went to watch a movie and we fucked around at the mall until we got kicked out i interpret fucked around at the mall to be non-sexual yeah and i

honestly am kicking myself for not making a move i'm'm unsure about how to do it. Do I just try to kiss her? Do I go with a joke like, this is the part where we kiss? I don't know how to make the first move. This will be my first relationship, and I'm not sure how to get it going. I'm also scared of making things awkward at work. It boils down to, how do you make a move? 18-year-old. Oh.

At 18, my go-to move was just to uh watch a movie together on a couch and you know a quiet dark setting and eventually uh if she wants you to kiss her she'll start looking at you uh you know you can't fuck that up and you can't get me too um if she starts like staring deeply into your eyes like like yes she wants you to kiss her, kiss her. If there's never a moment where you're like, it'll either happen or it won't happen. You don't have to. I think that's the mission, right? Don't go on a seek and destroy mission to kiss this girl.

Put yourself in a setting where kissing would naturally happen and then just kissing will naturally happen. So couch, no lights, um not a michael bay movie maybe she picks the film yeah and uh film yeah tv shows are good too because you get so many intermissions intermissions are important if there's a fucking plot if we're watching interstellar might be hard to find a pause to make out but if we're watching episodes of the office if that's what she's into or whatever the fuck like every 15 minutes we get a whole break. Here's my move. It might suck.

I'm asking for your feedback on it. Go to a movie theater where the armrest goes up in the middle. A lot of movie theaters now have reclining seats. It's not like the old days where it was stadium seating almost where they're weird plastic. Put your arm around her and see how that goes it can turn into a snuggle now i worry i'm a little bit on the don't make it your mission to kiss her thing like kyle said not to do but it just seems like there's cuddly movie theaters bro she might lean into you and i don't want to make out in a movie theater

though i've never kissed in a movie theater in my life yeah it seems like a waste of money you're missing out yeah but there's people you can do it at home for free when you're not paying for it i'm not i'm not gonna kiss in front of people i don't i don't know so i'm maybe i'm crazy like you got a girl into your house at this point like i went to her house he's 18 yeah you go to her house yeah i would go to her house or she would come to my house. The movie thing is the simplest. There's a reason that the Netflix and chill thing is a meme. I drove to her house.

This is when I was like, I'm thinking of 15 and 16 year old kissing girls and it was like drive to her house and we watched I'm almost positive we watched Lord of the Rings. I'm almost positive. I think I was rings if i'm almost positive i think i was in my 30s when that if she has got if she is coming if she's coming over to your house yeah and you guys are already watching movies in the dark together like she's giving you signs that she's

interested in more than just like looking at stuff at hot topic with you at the mall like what's the worst case you can read her body language. If you're sitting down, you're watching the movie with her and she's leaning away from you and her arms are folded, she's not into you and it's not going to pan out. But if she's getting receptive tones and body language... Don't mistake the fake shivers, though.

That's the opposite move. They'll do the... That's like... I wish your arm was around me. That's like the female mating call. When you go to the store and you get the dough in heat call and he goes...

And you play the buck and rut. He's like... This is what it is for a girl. She's saying, I'm cold cold i want snuggles like and what will you do when she does that is you say what are you doing grab me yeah he's saying what are you doing pussy grab me and the worst thing you can do is be like want me to turn up the heat

you mean to get you a coat also always keep your house very cold am i fumbling the bag by not making a move by now i will say i think there's a window on this and that if you take too long she'll move on yeah he's not really saying like what the the level of their friendship is like like they're they're hanging out one-on-one fucking around at the mall for hours and hours like that that shows that shows some interest right like it's not like was this their first time hanging out alone or have they been doing this for a while because it's the only risk is that she's using him to boost her own ego like that's that is a thing that can happen like oh i like this guy he clearly

likes me which makes me feel good about me but i don't want him as a boyfriend for future questions we love these by the way sign up for a patreon uh down below and you can ask us these wonderful questions join our discord and generally goof around with us but uh we need to get better guidelines because if you had said i wish you had said something like we are peers appearance wise she i would say I'm about a six and she is too. Hey, she's pretty, but she's not beautiful. I'm,

I'm handsome, but I'm no Brad Pitt. I think we're peers. We're both physically fit. We do this. Like if I, if I, if I could like,

I don't know, or include pictures. I really want a lot of pictures from you people. If there's something weird, I need to know if the tech supports that. I wonder we can get it handled. You, you message someone and we'll get the pictures to Woody.

Don't worry. Just read it, Taylor or something. But but seriously, I hope that that guy's lawyer girlfriend finds a cooler dude. And I hope you kiss your young lady friend. Yeah, best of luck, guy. I like the relationship questions more than some of the others. I like relationship questions, too. Especially when it's like this.

Because all jokes aside, a guy whose parents told him not to pay rent sounds like actually neat. God, when did you ask this question? I hope you didn't go astray. Yeah, right? Wait until the end of the month to do them. Oh, no. When did you ask this question? I hope you didn't go astray. Wait until the end of the month to do them. Oh, no. Let's hope you didn't.

Follow up. I told that cunt to get the hell out of my house. Turns out her father owns the building I lived in. It was all a ploy to see if I was a good enough prospect as a husband. They're billionaires. Man, did i blow it that's funny you guys are they calling the show yeah yeah all right the what's funny is the description of every show says woody calls it a show and i feel like i'm the fall guy like for the show not being longer we all generally want to you know get done around four so that we can like eat dinner or go to bed with our families.

PK, 585. Buy your lock and load.